The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-04
Do5IoRs AND SURGEONS.
Some Strange and Ludicrous Samples
of Diagnoses.
Prom Hau,er's Afa9ayfn e.


Prom Hdr1,er's MdgaziR e.
"a doctor aud surgeon may be the same
person." remarked the philosop hical trainer,
oraoularly. but they seldom are. II you
whine-as the dogs do when their feet hurt
after hunt-or if you limp or compla in, a
doctor guesses what is the matter with you.
Then he guesses what will cure you. II
both guesses are right you are III luck and
be is skillful doctor la niue cases out of
ten be is giving you something harmless,
while he is taking second and third look
at you lat your expense, OF course) to guess
over after himself"
His medical pessimism and his surgical
optimism amused and entertained me, and
encouraged him to go on.
Now with a surgeon it is different Sur
gerry is an exact science. Before took this
position was a surgeons assistant in hos
pitel. III some places we are called trained
nurses. In our place we were called sur
geons' assistants. That's why make such
distinction between doctors and surgeons.
I've seen the two work side by side SO long.
I've seen some Of the funniest mistakes
made, and I've seen mistakes that we're not
funny. I've seen post-mortem examinations
that would have made surgeon named
that he had ever been born looked upon by
the doctor who treated the case as not at all
SlI dtlS6s ulN1 Y httlEEoI ulLh u DlJ III his own
opinion of himself and his scientific knowl-
edge next time. l remember one case. 1t
was Japanese boy. lie was as solid as d
little OK, but he told DR.. c. that he'd
been taking homeopathic prescription for
a cold. That was enough for DR.. c.. A
red rag in the van OF bovine animal is
nothing to the word Homeopathy to Dr.
G -. Hydropathy gives him fits. and &C.
lecticsm almost lays MIN out. Not long
ago he sat on jury which sent a man to
prison who had failed in a case of mind
cure That gave deep delight to his 'regu-
lar soul. Well, DR.. c. questioned the
| little Jap, who could not speak good En-
glish, and had the national inclination to
agree with whatever you say. Ever been
in Japana No. Well, they are droll lot
Always strive to agree with all you say or
suggest.
"FDid you ever spit bloodg asked DIR.
c., by snd-by, after he could find not h.
ing else wrong except the little cold for
which the homeopathic physician was treat
ing the boy.
"'Aha! we are getting at the root of this
matter now said DIR. c.. Now tell me
truly. Be careful Did you spit much
bloo1P
"'Yes, sir; good deal
THE doctor shifted. He always knew
that homeopathic hum6ug could not az
nOSS n Ctbse, 6uu WOllu 10 likely 10 k6b luS0
about as near the fact as light cold would
come to tuberculosis.
"'How long did this lastF he inquired Of
the smiling hoy.
81 think-it seemed to me-
"A half hourF queried the doctor;
twenty miuutesF
81 think SO. Yes, sir. About half an
hour-twenty minutes, responded the oblig-
ing youth.
II heard that talk. Common sense told
| me the boy s lungs were all right, but it was
none of my business, and so | watched him
treated off and on, for lung trouble for
over month before l got chancs to ask
him any questions. Then l asked incident
| ally;
80 What made you spit that blood that
time, Ghip"
~ dida't know ! ought to swallow him.
he replied, wi1e-eyed and anxious. Dent
| ist pull tooth He say to me: spit blood
here / do like he tell me. Your doctor
say YER cad for ludgs, spit blood. Next
! time swallow him.
II helped another practitioner, in good
| and regular standing, to examine "a mans
| heart, He found pretty bad wheeze in
the left side. had to nurse that man He
had been on bat, and on all earth that
| allied him was that spree, but ne got treated
| for heart trouble. 1t scared the man almost
| 10 death.
"Id learned how heart should sound so
! one day | tried his He was in he'd then,
and 1t sounded all right, so when the doctor
| csms in took him aside and told him that
| didn't want to interfere but that man was
| scared about 70 death over his heart, and it
| seemed to me it was all right-sounded
like other hearts-and his pulse was all
right too. The doctor was mad as March
| hare, though he had told me to make two
or three tests. and keep the record for him
! against the time Of bis next visit. Well to
mako a long matter short, the final discov-
| cry wns-the man don't kno Y it yet. and he
is going around in dread Of dropping off
any minute with heart fatlure-that at the
| first examination the man had removed
only his coat and vest aud his new sus-
! ender on his starched shirt bad made the
squeak That is cold fact ana that man
| paid over $50 for the treatment he had for
| his heart