davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25
THE FAT MAN CRIES

make me realize the situation. II
want to go up he asks all The others to
step out. and if | want to 60 down he
calmly reminds me that the cables are
tested for only five tons, and that he will
not be responsible for accidents. I've
had him stop between floors aud pre-
tend that he felt the building sinking
yes, sir, sinking-and his sole object was
to scare me into walking down nine
flights of stairsr'
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25

matter what it's pol
itics, but I'm bound
to come across an
item headed: The
Fat Man Must Co.
or The Fat Man In
Fly Time or The
Fat Man Is q MUS
ANGEL
"0f course I'm fat.
I was built that way
I'd have been a lean
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25
Mining stock.

In another column is the advertise
ment of the Pittsburg- Mexican Mining
company Offering for sale mining shares
in their property in Old Mexico. Those
desiring to invest capital in gold min.
ing stock may find in this offer just the
kind of property they seek. The OFF,
ces OF the company are at Pittsburg,
Kansas.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25
KANSAS PENSIONS.
Few More Names Recently Added to
the List.

NHe" more Names Recently Added &c
the List.
Wesley Murray. Charles Town, John NJ Carl
ton. William Chadborn. Joshua Richardson
Noah Surface, Emerson o Place. John s Dur
ham, Walter M Clark, Isaac N Fisher James
Isaacs, Daniel Vanwicklsn. Thomas Holiday,
Henry Pomeroy, John Eunson, Jonathan B
Parks, Daniel Danielson. Peyton Miller. James
STANDBY Nsphtai w Kenyon, John Kinney,
Charles NJ Leo, MILFORD j Ungles, William
Rutter, Samuel Rich Thaddeus Fox, Rufus
Buxton. John Huddleston, Charles w Tosier
James McFadden. William NJ Wilcox, John
J Gardner, Walter Parmenter. Nautilus BRAY,
Joseph Thompson. George s Richardson. John
Borreil, Thomas Mcknight and Henry B Vim
In the Indian Territory-Ts Mex. Ho- jap Kok
Stockwen and John W McCool
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25

KANSAS CIT. Mo-. Oct. 20 Oh 1880
In my three years experience as Cement In
spectof in City Engineers Departemnt,
found that Fort Scott Cement would increase
in tesile strength more rapidly after the
third or fourth week than any cement IN use
IN the city. J.W. DENNIS Late Inspector,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25
THE SUNDAY soLILoeuIsT.

The Fat Man Resents the Imputation
that He is Obese From Choice.
There she goes again! There she
eoesl can't pick up newspaper, no
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25
HOW'S This?
ST.. SAVED!

We viii mail to any address, on receipt of
l.5o, pair OF our ladies' Dongola, or Kid,
sewed, all leather, Button Boots nny size.
These shoes usually retail for $500.
GLE SHOE CO.,
Manufacturers of Ladies', Misses and Chill
dren's Fine Boots and Shoes, A Lincoln St.,
Boston, Mass
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-09-25

This is the way Scott tells the rest Of
1t. Before could wink Joe had his
gun out and poked under my nose.
Scared? Well should say I was. But
| was too quick for him. I took it all
back before he could shoot
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Strawberries In alaska.

IT,
Alaska has usually been looked upon
as bleak and distant section Of Uncle
Sans domain, where the land was
mostly water, furnishing seals and
salmon, while icebergs and glaciers
adorned wonderfully picturesque land
scapes and waterscapes, the delight o.
summer tourists who visit that far.
northern cline to enjoy few elongated
days.
Among the arrivals in this city yes
terday was James Cox, who left here for
Chilkat a year ago last April. with his
family, consisting of his wife and three
children. Mr.. Cox is quite well pleased
with the climate where he was stationed,
the temperature seldom dropping to 10
degs. below zero and occasioning no in
convenience. He had quite nice gar
den last summer, in which he raised fine
vegetables -turnips, beets, carrots, on
ions and potatoes. He says there is an
old half breed woman at Chilcoot mis-
sion, few miles from Chilkat, who has
raised potatoes and vegetables for many
years past. This last season she expert
mented with some strawberries, and sue
ceeded in growing some very ine ones.
-Astorian.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Drinks from tho Slot.

The latest development in the sspenny-
in-the-slot" system is an automatic cof-
fee tavern now on exhibition at Birming.
ham. The purchaser drops in his penny
and pulls out knob labeled. with the
drink he desires. Then, by pressing q
tap, he is able to draw the exact guam
tity. There are two plated cups for the
use of customers, and second tap gives
aconstant a supply Of water for rinsing.
Each reservoir of drink holds seven gal.
Ions, and tea and coffee are kept hot by
an unseen gas burner. The automaton
turns the gas out when the reservoir
is exhausted, and displays notice
"Empty" in front. Iced drinks are to
be sold through the Same machines,
which can also be utilized for the sale Of
sandwiches, pies and cakes.-London
Tit-Dits.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
An Uproar in Court.

One of the most astonishing features
of the running of the civil courts of this
city is the excitement which harmless
citizen can cause by walking into the
court room with his hat on. Of course
no one is so ignorant as not to know
that it is not the proper thing to keep
his hat on in the presence of Judge
holding court, but it frequently happens
that man who is strolling about the
corridors of q court house will step into
a court room and absent mindedly fail
to remove his hat. Now there may be
court officer within two feet of him.
He taps the offender on the shoulder
and whispers to him to take off his hat.
That is the curious feature of it. He
doesn't do any such thing. Instead. he
shouts at the top Of his lungs, "Hats
Off" The officer in the corner, who has
been doing, wakes with start, also
shouts ''Hats OFF, and the third officer,
who has had his back turned toward the
offender, in the act of handing paper
to the witness on the stand, wheels
around and likewise shouts sHats otf!'
Judges, lawyers, witnesses, jurymen,
all are startled at the sudden outcry.
and the offender against court room eti-
quette sneaks out of court, abashed and
wondering why he couldn't have been
asked to remove his hat without so much
attention being attracted to his oGense.
New. York Times.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Hu,nor on a Sick Bed.

While reading one of the humorous
papers few days ago came across a
sunny story which carried me back
to months ago when, sitting in my room
one evening, was summoned by mes
senger to the sick bed of friend. He is
perhaps one of the best known funny
paragrapbers in the country, and his
work finds ready sale wherever offered.
Upon arriving at the room of my friend
l found him in q high fever, tossing on a
bed of perfect agony. 1 had not sat long
by his side when, turning over, he said
to me: "My dear fellow, my copy is
due tomorrow morning at the Office of
-. Won't you take pad and write
down some paragraphs at my dictation?"
l took pad, and for half hour my
friend dictated to me continuous string
of jokes, many of them SO funny that /
could scarcely repress laughing myself.
One story l especially remembered as ex-
ceedingly bright and witty, and yet it
was dictated between groans. There
are indeed people in this world who suf-
fer to make others laugh.-Edward w.
Bok's Letter.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Where Air IL Sold.

The Bible house of Constantinople has
been often described. I was conducted
through it by the son of DR.. Bliss, 50
many years in charge of it, and who but
a few months before had died at Assioot,
on the Nile, as described in a former let
ter. The Bible house is very well
adapted to its purpose, marked in all its
departments by evidences of American
energy, and also by indications Of con-
servative management.
Looking out of one of the upper win.
dows, l perceived long, low block by
the side of the Bible house, and said to
Mr.. Bliss:
"Does the Bible house corporation
own that block?"
''It does not" "-.
'When that is removed, if buildings
of the character of the others in the
street are erected your magnificent views
from these windows will be cut off,"
''No," said he; "they cannot do that
We own the air."
"What does that mean?"
"There is custom in Constantinople
of selling the air above the houses, which
makes it impossible for the owner of the
building to build above certain point
and we have taken pains to purchase the
air between here and the end of the
block. DIR. j. M. Ruckley in Christian
Advocate.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
An Engineer Who s,ept.

The writer asked an old engineer tho
other day if he had ever while running
a locomotive yielded to sleep. "No-
we'll, yes" he answered. s'That is. IL
wasn't a sleep, just nod; a sudden stop
ping of everything and then an awaken.
ing with a start. was so dead beat that
it seemed to mo as if thousand pound
weight was pulling my eyelids down.
Of course l fought it off, but for just one
second l gave in once. was looking
ahead when suddenly I felt my head 70
down with a jerk. don't think that
that sleep lasted one-tenth of a second.
but every sensation left my brain. Il
was as if it flashed out and then back
again. It is a sorry thing" he added
grimly, "when engineers go to sleep In
their cabs. New York Tribune.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Tho Spectral Fleet.

The legend of the spectral fishing feet
Of st. Mary's Bay is of modern or
igin. In 1869 fishing feet, homeward
bound from the Grand Banks, was driven
by stress of weather into St. Mary's Bay.
The storm increased in fury, and 100
boats went down on that August day in
the storm tossed waters. There are now
hundreds of fishermen ready to swear
that ever since. when they have sought
shelter in fog and storm in st. Mary's
Bay, they have caught glimpses of a
phantom feet, heard the tapping of the
sails and the shouting of the sailors when
no feet was there. This may be ac-
counted for by the fog, which nearly al
ways hangs about the bay, for any one
who has sailed in a fog knows that he
can see and hear almost anything he
pleases in it.-New York Tribune.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Device for stopping Run.w.y,.

Device for stopping Runaways.
An ingenious contrivance has been de.
vised which, when attached to q vehi-
Gle, will stop runaway horse or speed
lily arrest vicious or frightened animal.
It consists of removable sleeve which
acts in conjunction with a central pull
ley and side levers, which are under the
immediate control Of the driver, and by
which an instant rearward revolution Of
the central pulley can be effected. A
substantial band. preferably of leather,
is secured around the central pulley and
extends forwardly, its extremity having
lateral straps attached to it, and also to
the bits Of the horses, so that the revo-
luton in direction away from the
horses will shorten the band and pull
the heads of the horses downward and
rearward in forcible manner, throwing
the animals upon their launches and
quickly arresting their forward move
ment.
Provision is also made for automatic
ally locking the central pulley, 90 that
the tension Of the horses win not be re-
moved il they back up. This pressure,
however, can be readily removed BY the
driver pressing with his foot on the
treadle when it Is desired to control q
team Of fractions horses with trammeled
heads.-New York Commercial Adver.
tisar.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
osERoN's LAST COUNCIL.

n. On some woodland lawn, you SEQ ring
\ OF darker hue upon the paler grass
The strange green growth which children q
they pass
stn tell each other + fairy thing
Let BY the Elves DER night-let your soul cling
TO the sweet thought that there the Elf King
was
With all his crew at dawn; but that, alasl
They met there for their last, hast gathering.
For they are dead; and though the sunshine stin
Dances in iecks as dance the leaves above,
And still the squirrel nibbles and the mouse,
The little folk are gone who used to fill
The hazel copses where the wildwood dove
With cross laid twigs still builds her little
house
He called last assembly of the Elves.
Hundreds Of Fairies in the forest met
Meath one huge oah tree-Sprites of dry and
wet,
Pixies and Imps, and every gnome' that delves.
And oberon said: 'swe lurlz by tens and twelves,
Starved in the woods. Mans faith-our food as
yet
Feeds us no more; the fairies sun has set;
We are but shadows OF our former selves
'Tis time to leave the woods and to depart.
When faith quite ends ESQ say the high decrees)
Then death will strike us with his icy dart
Long have We nestled in the hearts Of trees;
Now we must nestle in the poets heart
The only place in which we ne'er shall freeze {"
Eugene Lee Hamilton in Academy.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Describing n Thief.

A while ago lady in passing down q
crowded thoroughfare was relieved OF
her pocketbook. It was two hours be.
fore she missed it. After two hours
more of search, and returning to places
where she might have carelessly left it.
it occurred to her suddenly that she had
been jostled by five or six men at street
corner. The circumstance made no par.
ticular impression upon her mind at the
time, only that she glanced around with
the thought that the street was un.
usually crowded, and that the men were
taking up more room than was neces.
sary. She reported her loss to the police,
and in relating the incident she de.
scribed three Of the men so accurately,
their features, their clothing, and even
the design on one of their neck handker.
chiefs, that they were recognized imme-
diately as being the most notorious pick.
pockets in the city.
The pocketbook was found rifled of the
money, but with the valuable papers in.
tact, in the engine room of prominent
building. The engine room had sky.
light that opened into the alley near the
corner where the men had crowded her.
They kindly lifted the screen and drop.
ped it upon the marble floor near the en-.
gineer. She was not indebted to the art
Of observing closely for the loss or the
return of the pocketbook, but slight
hint was given of its value in the unveil-
ing of the brain picture, of which she
was unconscious Of receiving. Chicago
Herald.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
He Was Ingenious.

A lazy boys shirking of tasks does
not often result so well as in the case Of
W. G. Smith, of Round Pound, who has
made application for patent on milk
ing machine which promises to be q
good thing. He got his ideas when q
boy living on the "Meadow Flat Stock
farm" His parents would send him to
milk and he would want to play ball
with the other boys, and as he couldn't
play ball and milk both at the samS
time he would put straws in the cows
teats, and they would milk themselves.
Afterward he made improvements on
this plan which resulted in the milker.-
Pemaquid (Me.) Messenger.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
The Relations of johnnie shrimp.

Ihe Relations OF johnnie Shrimp.
This is boys essay on his family re.
lations: Ma is my mother. am he,
son. Mas name is Mrs. Shrimp, and Mr..
Shrimp is her husband. Pa is my father.
My name is John George Washington
Shrimp. Therefore pas name is Shrimp,
so is mas.
My ma has a ma. She is my grandma.
She is mother-in-law to pa like grand
ma better than pa does. She brings me
dimes and bolivars. She don't bring any
to pa. Maybe that's why he don't like
her.
Aunt Jerusha is my aunt When pa
was a little boy she was his sister. l
like little sisters. Diclzy Mopps has a
little sister. Her name is Rose. I take
her outriding on my sled. Aunt Jerusha
don't like her. She calls her 'sthat Mopps
girl" think Aunt Jerusha ought to be
ashamed of herself.
Aunt Jerusha lives with us.
Aunt Jerusha has state of health.
too. On washing day she has the head
ache, and does her head up in brown
paper and vinegar, and I have to make
toast at the kitchen fire. make some
for myself, too.
Aunt Jerusha says nobody knows what
she has done for that boy. That boys
me again. told pa what she said. Pa
said it was just Somebody did know.
Ma says Aunt Jerusha means we'll, and
that she is pas dear sister. don't see
why that's any reason she should scold
me when l eat cabbage with knife
Golden Days.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Mr.. Disraeli and Sir Robert Peel,

Mr.. Disraeli and Sir Robert Peel.
Mr.. Froude's story about Sir Robert
Peel having once asked "a distinguished
friend" to carry challenge to Mr.. Dis
raeli is most nonsensical romance, and
it is wonderful that he could print such
rubbish. The truth is that Mr.. Froude's
fiction is based upon the fact that there
was once stormy scene in the house Of
commons between Mr.. Disraei and Sir
Roberts brother, Gen. Peel, which
would certainly have resulted in hos
tile meeting but for the Intervention of
friends. Mr.. Froude has simply con-
fused Sir Robert with his brother, but
bis story is all wrong. for the general
commenced hostilities by informing Mr..
Disraei that he had told falsehood.
The whole affair was over in less than
half an hour, as the aggressor frankly
apologized. Lord George Bentinck was
Mr.. Disraeli's .friend" and Admiral
Rous acted for Gen. Peel. London
Truth.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Left Court for tho Field.

Gen. Butler had great practice be-
fore the war. For years he had two
Offices, one in Boston and one in Lowell,
and a partner in each engaged in the
preparation of cases. He was trying
cases in court almost constantly for nine
months in the year. Then, as now, he
was punctual and methodical in his COM
ings and goings between Lowell and
Boston. When the war broke out he had
one Of the most lucrative practices in
New England-worth probably 5000
year. He was trying case in court
when the order came for the Sixth regi-
ment Of his brigade to muster on Boston
common in readiness to proceed to
Washington. By the courtesy Of the op-
posing counsel and the court he was
allowed to leave the court, and the case
was stopped at that point.-Boston Ad-
vertiser.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
spsa,ri.r os o.as.

0kS00RS&B
The first thought Of almost every ons
On hearing good story is to find some
one else to whom it can be told. Some
people make q few stories stand them In
good stead for long time, and q tale is
told Of Vermont man who had just one
story, and who told that on every posi-
ble occasion.
1t was an excellent story, without
doubt, the story of gun which had
once belonged to friend Of his, and he
told it well, though perhaps it might
have been improved by little condensa-
tion. But his anxiety to bring forward
this tale never abated. One new listener
in a group Of people was quite enough to
encourage him to give his 1sgun" story
in all its details.
It is said that he always brought the
conversation around to guns as soon as
possible; then he would say, ''And speak
ing of guns reminds me of good story .
and then begin his narrative.
There is legend in his native town
that on one occasion number of peo-
pie who were well acquainted with this
thrilling tale endeavored to keep guns
out of the conversation at dinner
given by club of which he was a men,
Der to a distinguished visitor.:''
In vain the gun man tried to bring
the talk round to his favorite weapon,
and as time went on his expression be-
came gloomy in the extreme. AS the
guests rose from the table at last, so the
story runs, he stamped violently on the
floor as he approached the distinguished
guest, and then said, "Just a little
cramp from sitting SO long, my dear sir,
but that sounded almost like gun; and,
speaking of guns, reminds me"-and
linking his arm in that of the visitor, he
bore him triumphantly from the room
to the music of his cherished anecdote.
Youths Companion.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
The Chatterine kaiser.

The rapidty with which the German
emperor talks when delivering a speech
has been determined by DR.. Engel, who
is one Of the chief reporters in the reichs.
tag, and who has stenographed the en-
peror's speeches very often. According
to the doctor he speaks very rapidly in.
deed-about 275 syllables in each min.
ute, and occasionally the rate at which
he talks is even 300 syllables in minute.
Vanity Fair.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

To teach dog to ''speak" hold some
dainty before him when he is hungry.
Atfirst he will not know what is wanted;
but say ''Speakg' to him, and when he
barks, which he is pretty sure to do when
he finds the morsel still beyond his reach,
feed it to him at once. He will soon as
sociate the word 'tspeak" with the bark
and the dainty.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

The largest and heaviest building stone
ever quarried in England was taken from
theP Plankington quarry, near Norwich, in
February, 1889. It was in one piece,
without crack or flaw, and weighed over
ttdxtyave tons. It measured is feet
long, 8 fest high and feet wide.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
Tho origin Of Pioe.dilly.

An article Of wearing apparel win
sometimes lead into out Of the way
places. For instance, the collar was once
called piccadel, or pickadill, and one
Higgins, tailor in London, made 80
much money out Of it that he was ems
bled to build great number Of houses
in q certain street, whish from that time
came to be known as Piccadilly.-
Clothier and Furnisher.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13
A Self Preserver.

She--Who is that hearty, well pre-.
served old man2
He-He is living monument to the
value of taking care of ones self.
She-Well, who is he?
He-He's a French duelist.-Pitts-
Burg Bulletin.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

The otaheiteans, although great lovers
OF society and very gentle in their man
ners, feed separately from each other,
each particular member of the family
taking his or her basket and turning
with back to all others in the room.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

4 In 1920 the sea at Acapulco ran of
from the coast, leaving the roalstead
dry for two hours, and then rolled in
fourteen feet above its ordinary s.yel
1nd destroyed part of the city.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

An interesting sight in some Of the
cemeteries Of Kansas is the pine board
advertisements Of undertakers and tomb
stone manufacturers tackled up on the
trees by enterprising advertisers.
Griggs courier., 1891-02-13

Sir John Lubbock kept queen bee
for fifteen years, q test proving her eggs
to be just rs fertile at that age as they
were twelve years before.
The record-union., 1891-12-21
Five Thousand Students Attend the
Military Examination.

Five Thousand students Attend the
Military Examination.
SAN FRANCIsco, Dec. 20.-Advices per
Peking state that the United States
steamer Palos went to Nanking on No
vember 9th, to remain during the holding
of the Chinese military examinations,
which were to begin November 11tn.
Five thousand students were in attend
ance. The examinations were delayed
by the arrest of two brothers from Yang
chow, who were suspected of smuggling.
One of the brothers was shot while re-
sisting Chinese officials, and the other
prevailed upon the whole assembly of
students to espouse.his cause. a Com
missioner was appointed to examine into
the matter, and at last accounts a salts
factory termination was expected.
A small disturbance in Fokien prov
ince, caused partly by the salt tax and
partly stirred up by bandits, was quelled
without much loss of blood Chang
6oo, late Governor of Shantung.
is reported to have left million dollars
Of debts, and Viceroy Ii has assumed
the responsibility ana assured the for
eign creditors that they will be paid in
full.
The steamer Kuangshi was ashore near
Shantung on November 18th, and the
lchang struck on a rock off Tiger
Islands on November 18th. The cargo
and passengers were safely removed.