New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-04-27
THE TALK or THE DAY


A Cincinnati physician las a secret ONCE he'll
which he calls bore bell" end he says II Isl ere
thing. When he IS tackled by bore, OF when Ma
lady visitors Insist on giving him the history Of All
their relatives and their ills the Doctors foot snd
denly touches spring, which rings the bore bell,
and in PUSHES servant with important message or
telegram. The visitors tedious tale Is nterruptod
and she he leaves the Office because the doctor il
so busy you know. The same message or telegram can
be used a great many times, and the doctors callers
never suspect anything.
Wanted Instructions Observation-Disclosures q o.,4 o,,
there wants ter buy that brinde pup. wOtll charcs
him. ~
Dealer7I told You TO get rid Of that pup FOR g. or
Asslstant1This gent Is stuck on him, an I
that pup for less than $l5.-Nankce Blade '''''
In Winnipeg they ask $50 foot less for corn.,
lou than for inside one because It costs 50 much
to clear OF the in winter around corner lots
that people doat prefer them.
Two Poets ard Two Pooms-L5nghar "a poet,-r
wrote poem TO my sweetheart ard she took II as a
proposal Of marriage and accepted me.
stupover Ntto-Thats nothing. wrct, poem
10 my sweetheart: sent It first to al editor and cot
80 for it-(Yankec Blade.
A New-York letter TO "Thc Philadelphia Press.
describing several metropolitan ccrsy men, relates
how on one occasion DR.. RaEsford forcbly elected q
muscular, Swapping fellow who persisted in dis.
tbng one Of his meetings after being daily cautioned
few minutes later the bully returned. and following
him was another strapping big fellow who Dr. Rains
ford supposed a companion. The rector said TO
himself, "Now / shall have a circus: shall have
to put them both OUT The second bulls began to
make trouble at once. and Mr. Ralnsfohd went 10
him and commanded him 70 behave himself or leave.
lie, 100, was insolcnt and the minister was about 10
attack him, keeping one eye fixed on the other man.
when, Of sudden, the first rowdy arose and glazing
upon the second enc said Soy look a here, me and
Rainsford clean cut a half dozen toughs Ike
you and II you don't look ont we fire you out head
first. Dye hear me ~
A Western Girl Just Pack from New Yorl.--One Of nv
most ENJOYABLE amuSementS In New YORK i attending
church. / heard lovely service at Georges Church.
The rector is fine preacher and does 50 much GOOD
among the Door of New-Yorls The church was beani.
fully decorated and the singing was lovely. d. Rains
ford is one Of the mos; popular ministers in Now YORK
and his church is always crowded both in the galleries
and the body OF the church. enjOved his performance
BcrnRardt is BerRardt, but her snppo Is not quite as
good DR.. Rainsford's. saw her In Cleopatra. and
certainly she is genlGS. me play IS sPlenddg PH.
mere sticks. DR.. RainsfoH i, just too lovely for
ciereyman.-(St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
A Philadelphia paper in describing New-York
preacher, said: d" He is like An auger; takes hold
right away, cuts all the time and quits when he Is
through" 1t might have added that such preacher
never pores MS hearers.
dyes" said the man in the cutaway, ayes, It was
the same old story. He was fne-lo0Hng young
fellow. ambitions to rise in his profession, the soul
of honor and entirely without guile; and she seemed
Woman 70 6e se sdSd be flow cSad It aSe been other
wise than that he should be attracted toward her'
He fought against this passion: but II was useless;
one day when they were alone he told Ills love- ana
She -,
been listening to the speaker with bated breath and
she refused him, and he turned about with Groan
and left her forever His lfe was crashed h cccont.
him and they married two three month. after
ward: and have ever since lived happy, cohteH'eo'
humdrum sort OF lfe.'-(Boston Transcript.
An amusing story IS told OF a well-known Russian
woman who went recently to enjoy the sulphur baths
at Tins. On a particular morning the Countess en-
tered as usual one of the bathrooms. The water had
hardly touched her body however when 70 her horror,
she began to turn black She was so frightened at the
transformation that, upon seeing her reflection IN Tue
mirror she tainted. The attendant, who was as greatly
startled her mistress. cried for help ihe eXplahN
ton was simple enoug5. 1t was discovered that inc
Countess was accustomed to paint her face hands arms
and neck daily with substance containing zinc. ON
that fatal day the poor had neglected 20 remove
The Identifying" coat The zinc combined with the
sulphur and natum Of the water and quickly mace an
African belle out Of the white skinned bather con-
siderable time passed ere the unfortunate woman TO
sumed her natural appearance
TIE LAWYERS LULLABY.
Be STILL my child, remain in statu quo.
While prOpel thy cradle 10 and fro.
Let no involved res inter alOs
Prevail while wc're consulting inter nos
Was that little pain in medals res
Too bad too bad We III have no more OF these.
I'll send a capias for some wise expert d,
Who knows how to eject the pain AID stay the hurn
No t?espasser shall come to trouble thee
For thou dost own this house In simple fee
And thy administrators, heirs. assigns
To have 10 hold convey, al thy designs
Correct thy peadings. my own baby boy.
Let there be an abatement OF the joy
Ouash every tendency to keep awake,
And verdict, costs and Judgment thou shalt take,
-(BOstOn Transcript
Filing Carlson a NorH egian. discovered recently the
house occupied three centuries the north coast
o. Nova Zembla by william iarcntS. the Dutch explorer
The house was completely covered with snow and lce'
The various relics found in it have been placed In tho
Marine Department in the Hague. They include an ola
clock quadrant invented by Plancus tie founder Oh
the theory OF open Polar seas; Scat History VI
China" and "Navigators Manual
Poat-Nou didn't say why YOU returned my a..
poem. The one before yOu said was too long, Dut ''
last one was only four lines. - = ala
Literary Edltor-I have only to repeat WhaV 80 20
before. You must make your poems shOIteI' VI We
cannot print them.-(Boston Transcript.