The Critic and record., 1891-04-10
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.


ut was Just like Paris to give the apple to
Nenus." "Wasn't itS suppose Boston would
have given 1t to Minerva.'-PU
When the girl breaks match on somebody
Is pretty sure to be iired.-PttSbHjq Post,
Switzerland ought to be a free country.
There are 50 many passes In it, HOHkeyS states
man.
Patent medicine men arc organizing q trust.
They must cure everything at uniform rates.
Ae,0 orleans Picoyuae.
Figures won't lie, but give the figures to one
who knows how to use them TO advantage ana
he'll do the rest.-Bosion Transcript
Nou can't make a sik purse ont OF a sow's
ear; but sou can make q Congressman out OF
anything that has reached the required age
Pick
Customer Why did you take your boy away
from sChoOly
Grocer-Thoy were running him. Why, they
were trying to teach him that sixteen ounces
make pound l-MuaSeyS Ueeliq.
Bllnkers-Iello, Winkcrs, hear you mar.
ried woman with an Independent fortune.
Winkcrs (sadly)-N-o; married fortune
with mn Independent woman.-Ne,O York
Weekly.
II you prove that there Is no devil how are
YOU going 70 explain where whisky comes
from f-ZHe Rd0tS Horn.
Some people can trust God as long as they
have plenty of money, bat when the bank
breaks their religion all goes with little
R0HS HOIn.
Looking Forward Noear - Do You
think my daughter will be musician
Professor-l giant zay. She may. She dell
me she gone ofA long-liyed yamily.-N6W York
Htefiy.
A gentleman who Is fond OF making friends
with children attempted one day in horse-
car to become acquainted with a child who sat
next TO him. The little one wore crimson
plush cloak; and had long yellow curlS 70 the
gentleman began with conhdence
"lOW do yOu do little girlfN
I'm not little girl was the shy reply.
"0h, aren't your Well then how do you
do little boy
"Im not little boy came the uneIpected
answer,
Indeed! Who are you, thcn1"
"lm my papa's little man. said the small
stranger, with much dignity Boston 7tGs-
script.
The following extraordinary advertisement
appeared recently in West Coast paper. Its
good faith there l. no doubling and therein
lies the fun:
~ want TO let my furnished house Shootable
for legations or any other man. And II II does
not shoot the legation can shoot himself else
whore. Apply to ---.
Judgo-lioy, do you understand the nature
of an oath Z
Juvenile Witness-Yes'r It's human nature,
l reckon ChicdgO Irib00o,
81 heard that your mother was sick" said
the old gentleman, land ! just stopped In to
see II she was any better
@She amt much better, and I wouldn't he
surprised said Tommy, with q hope shining
In his eyes, III had TO stay home from school
tomorrow. .n-NWaStyS Ucekky.
"Whot do You say Is lunch readyE' or is
luncheon ready J? ~
"Noithcr, usually say, What the deuce IL
the matter with the grub y ''-Aep York SIN.
Botansts are heard proclaiming that the budz
are now dchisCing,
All the Coyncss and sccusion of the winter
time dismissing
| At the touch OF ycrnal kiss.
| And with coudcscensiOn mated to the sort that
crst iutruded
| on the soul of Patrick Henry when the signs
OF carnage hroOded,
| We have, by these presents, for ourselves and
each of ne, concluded
We will let the buds dchisCc.
--BOstOH COUr ieF.