Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-03-29

FORGET Ny PROMISES
soap in every spring. and with whom we
are on terms Of the closest intimacy.
find that II Is not regarded as an evil
dence Of refinement 10 squash fiy on
the table by means of ones knife.
Possibly IN New York we may be su-
preventative OF tins question. Int speak
ing for myself | must say that we
have not. for the past year and half.
allowed ourselves the coarse grati;ica-
ton Of squashing flies at meal time. es-
pecially when we had any of the corned
heads or Guelph outfit stopping with us.
Still. all these things are matters Of
taste. had college friend who be
came dentist. preferring il, as he said,
to the ministry because he never could
pray worth crss on an empty stomach.
Well, he had preoccupied way of Dor
ing out old cavities and wiping OF the
apex Of his drill on his trousers. This
did not cut into his practice where he
was. but one day he outgrew the town
and wore high hat he said that he
was sick Of pcrusing the wide sweep of
the Farmers Alliance tonsil. so he sold
his COW and moved to fat ON Lexing-
ton avenue looking east.
He looked out the window there for a
few months, thinking and banting. Then
a young lady from near the Forty second
street reservoir came to get her mouth
surveyed. In the mirror she saw him
wipe his instrument on o bald spot
Just forward of the portable mantel on
which no was wont TO scratch his
matches mostly. and with wild scream
she fled with a rubber dam in her
mouth and tinker's dam in her port
monte with which 10 pay the dentist.
She was caught on Fifth avenue a half
hour later, and pulled out from under
one Of Colonel Jewdesprit Shepard's
portable sawmills.
Bot her mind was gone.
So has the dentist.
You see that these matters are largely
local In their nature. British Columbia
which on Beacon street. or Madison ave-
nua would be coushed down. Now. for
instance, we had a fashion in my native
town Of regarding it a. personal insult
il your guest left heel tap or dregs,
even il You left ono dreg in your glass.
Your host had night to feel hurt and
TO regard it rs mild contempt for your
rum. But when | began to move around
restiessly in good society. and exhibit
my earnest and hearty Endorsement Of
the wine by approving Of it in the crude
way TO which had been accustomed. a
swift footed gdrcon filed the glass again
and kept me approving the hosts good
taste till my remarks were not logical.
] would start out with q good premise,
and before could reach a conclusion
the premise would escape my mind.
learn now that it is not correct 10 drink
the entire contents of ones glass unless
one wants To do 80 very much indeed.
One should sip the liguid-if at all
slowly through ones mnstache, mean
time looking far. far away. a. IL trying
10 recall the name OF the brand: but
never should one eat or drink IA If one
took any interest in il. That is excess
lively vulgar. Eat with preoccupied
and tiddledswinks air. as one would
who lived high at home and might be
for the nonce out doing some polite
summing.
Estscado Jesus de Fouseca. Of Conejos
county, Colo. writes to know Who is
Jerry Simpson. the newly elected states
man now in Washington. and what are
his qualifications as lawmakerY
Jeremiah simpson = the congressman
from the Seventh district Of Kansas. He
il . native Of New Brunswick. and at
fourteen years II age went to sea. where
be became a victim to the habit u going
utterly without socks He takes great
pride in his well turned mahogany an
kles and richly carved legs. At full
dress parties and receptions the coming
s.saon he will Offset the low corsage q
the finely formed Washington bellies By
wearing . ct Of aigh cut psaties. reveal
ing his well xrooued though stin slightly
chspp-d ankles
lie xss mate VI . large hsfk ct TIRE
age ~ twenty-five years. and thirteen
v.ars ago left the - 90 locate . p4sce IN
Kansas The ssrkiess Cicero ~ Kan
sss. a. he - piayfully called. wa largely
IN his later vears = fresh water saiior.
and ms est vesr-l wss wrecked OF Ind
ingtan. cn Lake Michigan. and sa on
board vere saved thronxh the herosrn
Of he captain.
Cspea,n Jerry simrsm u Doe farm
~. and 10 is sd ~ eiecs~i beesne he
.aowei On the stnrap ass sockh-- condi-
tion. claiming that NJ Eas - poor ard
honest that he coai1 nct Afford soehs.
HIS Successor viii douhssess b plan
man. whe VIII r. sbeut csn->esrx the
Sew-sth district ard wip,ng hss no~s on
TIRE scp r-al n he fair ground frnc~ -
csr~e he = ~ plain AMI poor that a.
cannot aHori hsssiks~rhfef
Until ss~s June Mr Simp~cn vss n.
citv marshal q Me.iscins Lsdxe. he
~ss M 10 that ane REGARDED - short