Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-04-10
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Every Day Language Good Enough 70,
Members.

Members.
Some time since, as Samuel Shin was
cleaning up Paradise hall in readiness
for the usual weekly meeting, he flung
pan of ashes out of one of the windows
fronting on the alley, and the same de-
scended upon the head of Colonel Inquirer
Jones, who was about to enter the hall.
There has been bad blood between the
pair in consequence, or, rather, the colo
mel has wasted great deal of time in
trying to catch Samuel in some lonely
locality. Odds of ten to one have been
given that he would succeed, but at the
last meeting, to the surprise of every
body, he walked up to Brother Shin and
extended his hand and waved the flag of
peace. This action was brought about
by telegram announcing the death of
his mother in North Carolina. Two
hours later he heard that she had been
dead thirteen years when the telegram
was sent, but he was not the man to go
back on his word.
"Gem'len," said Brother Gardner, as
the meeting came to order, 81 hev few
words of advice to offer which | hope
will be keerfully listened to an i'm
pecuniously considered. has observed
a tendency on de part of many members
of dis club to affeck what may be tarmed
de Shakspearian style of conversashun.
1t Gums from de white folks, of cose-
from dat class who has been suddenly
elevated by de profits of sewer con-
tract, an should be sot down on wild de
most vigorous disqualification. 1t hain't
IN keepin' wild de financial an soshul
standin' of man who, has to black
stoves an lay on whitewash at an aver
age Income of seben dollars a week. /
want it stopped"
Judge Cahoots, Whyfore Davis, indie
pendence Jones and others began to look
very serious.
Fur instance" continued the presi-
dent, 'how many members of dis club
know de meanin' of de term, To pog-
nosticate toward de mathematical indi-
viduality? an yit, at de party given at
my house de odder night, heard it ut
tered no less dan fo'teen times. What's
de use of a man airnin' dollar day
obsarvin' dat he expecks to condescend
to the irresponsible endeavor befo'
spring? He doan know whether it means
dat cranberries am gwine up to fo'ty
cents quart or viii drap down to six,
an his nearer goes home an can't sleep
fur thinkin about it. Sich conversashun
simply implacates resinous disinclina-
ton to absorb the proper desideratum."
nipples of excitement with suppressed
cries of Hear! hearr']
IF any of you," continued the presi-
dent, as he laid aside his coat, 'has an
ideah dat de yuse of SIGH words as bonn
bastic, delirium tremens, Cato, incense
quential, Dante, Boston, impugn, re-
taliate or postmaster gineral elevates
you in de corruptible an imperious esti-
mashun of Vanderbilt an Gould you is
precariously mistaken. When member
of dis club comes to me an wants to
borry a tablespoonful of forty cent green
tea, kase de preacher am gwine to be to
his cabin fur supper, want him to sot
down on lie aige of a cheer, look me in
de eye an Civ it to me in plain English.
He needn't spect me to heap up de
measure bekase he uses SIGH words as
abdicate, absquatulate, Casarism an
primeval incalculate."
More ripples. during which Colonel
Cahoots managed to kick Sir John
Smythe on the shin, and thus pay off an
old grudge.l
''lf l had son twenty vars ole" said
the president, as he looked up and down
the aisles, IAN he should cum home
some day wild his whitewash brush on
his shoulder an inform me dat de graft
ficashun of de incompatible syntax had
withdrawn its objecshuns to de planet
airy affiliashun, do you know what 1
would do? would riz up an put my
No. 13s agin him wild SIGH auxiliary rep
rehensibility dat he would percolate de
longitudinal cumulative fur six weeks to
cum. Oar bein' no furder bizness befo'
de club until its recent communicashun
to de legislachur' is answered, we will
redundate homeward." - Detroit Free
Press.