New-York tribune., 1891-12-24
HE HAD 1T ON THE OLD WOMAN"

Excelsior Springs Mo-. Nov. 20.-He was one Of
the oldtime residents Of Possum Ridge. Any one
could make that out at glance, not only from MS
shaggy hair and beard, and his blue-leans coat ana
white tow trousers, but also from his long, Irregular
stride as he walked down the middle of the street
snclinc ont the signs on either side. He evil
IDENTITY in highly pleased state Of mind too, for he
was smiling all over himself, and shaking with sup
pressed laughter till he coud hardly walk straight
and when a man who met him asked II he wasn't
tickled, he said
"Tellcdl By CAB, stranger, should sesso. Pm
lest ticbled Almost TO DEATH
"what's h.ppened7' the man asked
"Haint nothin' happened yit, stranger" the old
fellow replied but somethins gon' to happen. By
gum, mister but It's the best thing ever heerd Of
since was borned 1t Jest nigh makes me bust
alaughln when / think of it,
"what is 1t that pleases you so much uncle"
"why, it's er joke I'm putin up on ther ole
OMAN
Something rich, eh7'
"Rich? WAL I'd think 1t Rich Laint no
name fer It, Ha-ha, haaw! Say, by CAB, 1t Jest
mighty tckIes my ole hide plumb OF o. me to think OF
IT. It's the biggest joke ever lnowed In all my lfe'"
at must certainly be something immense
ait sborely is. Jest happened TO think OF 1t bout
an hour ago. an I've been a snickerin' like blame
idiot ever since. It's been Jest all could possibly
| do 10 keep from roarin' right out"
ado you mind telling what the Joke Is ~
.No nary time / don't I've got to tell
IL 10 somebody cause it's so good l can't keep it
'thout bustn'. You'll hev TO wait bit, though Till
Git sorter over this tickled SPELL Jest the thought o.
that thar Joke almost makes me split my skin aaughn
| Ha- -ha haa-awl Doggone stranger. l don't b'lieve
kin ever stand IT, bet you heerd notiin' like
| IL in all your days.
Tie old fellow stamped around held his hands TO his
Sides wagged his head and fairly doubled himself up
with laughter. II looked though he might die at
- IIu ha
down little and sinking his voice almost to a whisper.
| lie said
"say by CAB, but bet the ole oman II be so sur
prised that her eyes Ill stick out like the horns on
Texas steer"
"Do you think soT'
al know It, She hain't had marry slch Joke PLAYED
on her since me 'n'her been married, an she han't
| adreamin s'what I'm a-goin' to do. Dad swap me,
mister but bet she'll be that surprised an tickled
that she'll faint away as slick rs creased onion
Ha.ha. ha-awi Thar never was sich joke played on
nobody, bet.'
| The old man took another round Of stamping and
| laughing after which he went on.
"say,' he said. "youre anxious to hear what that
| Joke Is amt you7'
al should like TO hear 1t, for I'm sure IL must be
good
Then I'll tell you. Yo see ther ole 'oman's been
most a year maxim rag cyarpet. an to-day fetched
that air cyarpet down to town an sold it. See n
| "Yes."
| awal now here's whar the joke comes In You
see got as for the cyarpet an after buyin myself
pair boots an pair o. overas an terbacker enough
| to run me through the winter, ! had 40 cents left
Now what you reckon done with TINT air 4o cents y
| I" have idea
| "wal sir, you maynt blieve It, but ackly turned
In an, boueht ther ole 'ouan a caker dress with It,
| Haaa ha-aw! eefS
| Yes. but where does the joke come in?s
| "Why blame IL, man, don't you see The JOKES IN
ptttin' flat thar dress The ole oman amt no more
expecin' TO git nothn' than she Is o. seen the world
come TO und. an she'll be the most surprised oman
you ever sOt eyes on an she'll be tcked mighty nigh
out o. her skim too She hant used TO no sich great
| good FORUM that. Ha ah, ha-aw u
say he continued, after another " of stamping
| and laughter, saint that rich "
| ayes, very ,,
guess I'll hev 10 break 10 the ole oman sorter easy
ID mout shock er 10 death was too brash about IL,
moutn;t III BY CAB. but It's too good, stranger, an
| l can't say no more 'tlout bustin''