New-York tribune., 1891-04-22
THE TALK or THE DAY.

These be the days when Mr.. and Mrs. Uppercruss
SO far lay aside the conventon ties as 10 make an
occasional visit to the suburbs on Sunday and thew
nightly astonished at the men and women Of all
sorts ald conditions with whom they thrown in
contact in the trains and ferryboats They were on
train last Sunday morning which was filled with
loudtaing and gesticuIating crowd OF East siders,
who going out 70 get their weekly sniff Of fresh
air and something more than a sniff OF lager beer.
Arer gazing at them for some time as though they
were wild animals, Mrs. Uppercrust exclaimed ex-
ctedly "Oh, Fred, did you see that horrd rufraa
shake his fist in the face Of the woman whom he has
been scoldng for the last five minutesl Do let go
into the next car for am sure ne will soon begin TO
beat her." "oh, that's all right replied Mr. Upper
crust, they Germans and that Is simply his way
of telling her that he is going to set up the beer and
Limburger for the party when they arrive at their
destination"
A Deep-Laid Plot.-Young Lady-You are the Chief
Head Centre OF the Pullers and Haulers' Union n
p"VWS Waking int II BelesateHYes, gate Miss.
"Well, I'll give you a gold breastpn, a pair Of dia-
mond earrings, two nice rings, a ladys watch and
twenty seven dollars, If you'll order the men to strike
@Ehi What dye want us to strike fori'
"Because papa was too busy at the factory 10 take
TO Europe last season, and don't want him 70 have
News. ScS o''" '''D'' ''O ~ ~
After all, the only really important Italian ques-
ton now before the country is that old and familiar
one, Peanutta or bananl'
Mr.. NImrod-I am going out hunting this after.
noon and III bet bring down something.
Mrs. Nimrod-But the dog you shot last time isn't
@Oh, Pm not going to have any dog with me this
time r....
expect 10 shoot l"-(rexas siftings.
A Westerly, R. l., barber displays the following
sign: Hair cut and whskers trimmed for o5 cents;
children t5 cents"
Lies Inequaltles.-Fond Mother-Th' papers IS
sayn, as how Mister De Star, th great actor IS getn
one hoOndred dollars night.
Scene-Shifter-Ns: an wOt does we getl only 30
cents night fer shhn' all that heavy scenery fer
him ter walk an spout before Its an Aharcms1 IN
soon be.-(New-fork Weekly.
The fondness of some people for snowy or high.
sounding words such as "obsequies' for funeral,'
and confederation" for fire. leads correspondent
to predict That we may read of tho demise ae'
instead of death rate Well, that isn't 50 very much
worse than the use of the word demse' in a recent
issue OF Western paper I'VE have had on an
average it declared, demise day for the last
MONTH"
Pleasing His wlte.-.nnlgs-Why do you offer such
large reward for the return OF that contemplate pug
Winks-To please my wife.
Jnks-But such reward will be sure TO bring him
back.
mo 1t won't He's dead. ."-(NewYork Weekly.
In these days OF divorces and ndelty IS encourag.
ing to read Of marriage which took place few days
ago in Berlin In 1910 the inspector on large estate
in tie ncghborhood OF Prussas capital became engaged
70 the daughter OF prominent official OF the metropolis
girls father however, quorrclled with the young
man and broke the gagement. The Inspector came
to America amassed iortuGe and returned 70 Berlin
at the ace Of scveny-nine. few months since. Thse
ut the house of OF the professors Of the University
he met his former inamoTata. The meeting was an at
fecting one. They had remained faithful TO one an
other for half century and determined az once to end
their days together.
A Tender COnscience.-Crossng Sweeper-Pleass
gimme two cents FOR tn clean crossing.
Amused Pedestrian-Why two cents
You see, sir, didn't clean tP crossing myself, but
licked the boy wOt did, an took his broom
You did, eh?' 49,
Yes sir. But want ter do the square thing by
i'm an if y'll gimme two cents, III give him one
Street Smiths Good News.