The Portland daily press., 1891-03-21

the state In unequivocal terms. He believes
the secret ballot to be right in the line of
progress. He earnestly hopes that 1t may
became law. and will continue, as In the
past, to express his views upon 1t squarely
and forcibly to all who speak with him con.
corning It,
WIT AxpWIspoM.
Mamma-You naughty grill you've eaten
every cooky there was on the plate. told you
you might have three.
Little Edith-Yes. but you didn't tell tine which
three. 80 had to eat all to be sure TO get the
right ones.-Boston Transcript.
Ayers Pills are purely vegetable perfectly safe,
do not grippe, and are splendid tonic.
Jamesly "a marksman)-Shall you be at the
range tomorrow morning?
Wadley newly married)-I am very sorry, but
YOU see my wife has got range in our kitchen,
and it takes all of my mornings to attend TO
that.-Lowell Citizen.
you coyet appetite flesh, color, vigor, take
Ayers sarsaparills. Sold by druggists.
81 have withdrawn from ouah Eamatuah acting
club" said Willie Washington.
"why?"
81 couldn't stand it any longhar, you know.
was cawst for the villain, and Miss Pepperton was
the heroine, and she was to say, Villain do youh
worst"
THAT was easyn
s.Yaas; but Miss Pepperton wouldn't repeat
the words. She said 1 had already done as badly
as any one could reasonably expect."-washing-
ton Post.
Will positively cure sick headache
and prevent Its return. Carriers Little Liver
Pills. This is not talk, but truth. One pill a
dose. See advertisement Small pill. Small dose.
Small price.
"What song does that young woman who is
treating her iancee with lager remind you Off"
II don't know. Drink to me with thine
eyesg"
have Just hit it."-Boston Transcript
1t sells like. hot cakes.-Salvation OIL, the great
est cure on earth for pain. Price 25 cts.
"No cure, no pay" is the motto OF the peoples
remedy, DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
The Shoemakers Daughter dressed for prone
nade)-Now adieu, papa; must go over to the
conservatory.
Father-Ah but wait bit and I'll 60 along
Da1ghter-.Father, what possesses you to sug-
gest such thing? Think OF my social position"
-Filegende Batter.
Not one In twenty ara free from some
little ailment caused by fnaction of the liver. Use
Carriers Little Liver Pills. The result will be a
pleasant surprise. They give positive relief.
Better speak the truth.
CShorts-say, Dineley. have you got five dollar
bill?
Dingley (who has bill, but is afraid Shorts
wants to borrow ip-No, Shorts; haven't got a
Shorts-Wcli, no matter. WANTED to pay you
the five dollars borrowed about two months ago
and ten Is the smallest have.-Boston Herald.
A Dead Shot
right at the seat Of difficulty, Is accomplished by
the sure and steady aim of DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Don't fool around with a pop-gun, nor
a "Flnt-lock," when this reliable winchester
is within reachi Or. Sage's treatment Of catarrh
is far superior to the ordinary, and when direc.
tons are reasonably well followed, results in a
permanent cure. Don't onger be Indifferent to
the verified claims of this unfailing remedy.
$500 is offered in good faith, for an incurable
case Of Catarrh the Head, byits proprietors,
the Worlds Dispensary Medical Association, Buf
1al0, Ne \. AT all druggists.
Carrying All Before Him.
show is your friend doing out in Helena, Mon
tana?'
Sa he's % SaSrSng s sysyassg before him."
ale is waiter in restaurant."-St. Paul
Globe.
Twas SO much troubled with catarrh 1t seri-
ously affected my voice. One bottle Of Ely's
Cream Balm did the work. My voice is fully re-
stored-B. F. Liepsner, A. M, Pastor Of the Ollve
| Baptist Church, PHILADELPHIA, Pa.
One Way to Use 1t.
81 thought you were going TO have cupola on
your house."
81 have one."
"Where is lt?"
ain the cellar. 1t looked so badly on the roof
that took 1t OF and made coal bin OF it.'-Har-
per's Bazaar.
II you don't want gray hairs, use Halls vege-
table sicillan Hair Remover.
Her Reckoning Good.
81 wonder what time 1t ISL said mamma Just as
the train whizzed by.
~ 1T must ss 81 Ososs replied the xsyear
hear the whistle say, 'Two-two-two'?" Pr Chris,
tian Register.
VAN HeUTENs CocoA-"once tried, always
| used"
Gave Himself Away
"He's cockney, that's what he is" said Mr.
| Newbr ed.
"What makes you think SOP"
"He said table d'hote' instead OF table de
hote.' These cockneys always drop their MS.
Tell 'em in minute.-Epoch.
"A Cod-send is Ely's Cream Balm. had
catarrh for three years. Two or three times
week my nose would bleed. thought the sores
would never heal. Your Balm has cured me.n-
Mrs. M. A. jackson, Portsmouth, N. H.
The Poet-Sir, 1 have here a beautiful gem In
verse. May ask your regular rates on origna
poetry?
Editor-What is the subject?
Poet-Lovely Springtime.
Editor-Rates, 81 an inch, next reading matter
| reduction on long contracts.-Waye.
Baby cried,
Mother Siohed