New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-09-06
THE. TALK or THE DAY.

oeath'
THE. TALK or THE DAY.
M.nv vears ago large stone was ding up near .
ohnrch In ireland. which bore the following inscrp
sabir Hoeres ago.
Fortibus es in: Arc
Nosces Mari the be trux
Volts innem pes an dux.
some wit who saw the stone observed that, thong
not versed in antiquarian lore, he could give trans
Iation. In sound it is ndiculously like the Ladn
words:
81 say, Billy, here's go:
Forty buses in row.
No. says Mary, they be trucks,
What is In 'emf
Pease and ducks"
,s,arr,a,,e Evidence-A young woman was trad.
Ing in stationers shop, and the elderly proprietor
suddenly a rhe" does the wedding take placer
The weddngi Why, you don't think the fair
customer bushed and hestated o.,o. ,or 100 ,,....
Of paper ape and only twenty We envelopes know thers
IS +, Something in the wind. "-(Cologne Gazette.
arbe Worcester (MsssJ Gazette tells Of farmer
who has O SOW and four well-grown pigs, which run
IN an orchard where the limbs OF the trees are quite
low and laden with apples. The old SOW springs ~
and catches a limb and shakes 1t, thus bringing down
the apples which she and her family quickly devour.
After getting In this way all she can reach, one pig
climbs on the mothers back and reaches higher limb.
which she shakes vigorously, bringing down fresh
supply Of fruit
He Made the Sale Have you got any buff f. TIN
ming 10 GO with this stuff I" asked Hastily dressod
woman OF an assistant in large Diapers near Regent
81 the other day. 81 think so, miss answered u:
ipn T,sod gG on the counter Buff Do you can
that buf - exclaimed the woman That's too daTs
can see IT. fss why. Of course It's dark madame
persisted the man. cts bndmsn's bThu,he TeS
Shade, you see" He sold the goods-tLondon Id
Bits.
"The Boston Transcript says that with all his
amiabillty. Dr. Holmes once IN awhile rcsents inc
obtrusyeness OF young authors who force themselves
upon his attention. One young gentleman, whoss
books have since made Juror, called upon TIE aocoi
None day with a friend whom the doctor was gaa |"
see But ne would not pretend to be glad TO see tho
young man who wrote. He declared 10 MS lace ""
he had never heard of him.
But you and have had correspondence saau uN
snubbed young author
"a good many people correspond with me !" retored
Dr. Holmes.
"Pm going 10 send you my last book" Practically
offered the young man.
"send 10 II you want to- I'll put IL on that table
there, and maybe III read It and maybe won't" De-
cared the Autocrat, automatically.
Wanted 1t Applied" Pa" said little Johnny C1tey,
said you-you didn't believe in future punishment
well, johnny replied the old man. :" the snolecl
Is strange one for you TO speak about out' @aV'
Then, Supposed suppose that let's me ont o the
hckin' you promised me after supper "-(Fuek'
Two hundred school teachers are needed at once 10
New-Mexico " school ans being preferred. And
railroad official Of that Territory declares that hun
dreds Of eligible men in Ncw-MeXico are anxiousu
waiting the opportunity TO offer their hands, hearts
nd hOme M
no personal interest in the matter except desire
to see the population Of this country more evenly
distributed; and If my suggestion will add worthy
resident to New Mexico, gain home or place fof
fellow being, am satisfied
Farmer--What are you doing, Young man.
Clerk-waIHng on you. Weighing out your suseN
Farmer--How much are you giving mel
Clerk-A dollars worth.
FaImer--Yes, know but how many pounds'
Farmer--Twenty ,fonri Why it used to be only
fourteen.
Fsrmer--Well, run her back and give me Only iour,
teen pounds II took home twenty io1s p0n n Hs
vote the Republican ticket and il be hanged If 40
that.-(Kennebcc Journal
aThs Bangor News thinks that the high fares On
American railroads result in sending people 10 Europe
"A OF New England and the Middle States" II says.
are full Of people who have climbed Alps, visited
Rome bouevards Of Paris, been all over the United
Kingdom end seen the midnight sun on the coast OF
Norway and yet who have been west Of Chicago,
They hear Of the beauties OF the Pacific slope. they
read about the gories Of the Yosemite Valley and they
want to 90 and see them, but when they learn what
II will cost they think they cannot afford TO go further
than Niagara Falls After that they go to Europe,
and so year by year tc Atlantic passenger lists have
been swelling rapidly until they are something
stupcndous 10 contemplate"
SEPTEMBER.
The year has foun' It's first gray hair an suit down fer
awhile,
An on her face a compermZe atween tear an smile
SUIT down upon her punin-stoo among the rpenln
The first time she has rested the day thet she
wuz born.
Her life has reached its afternoon an sleep is in thu
calm WIN from the shores of sleep Goats by 1sA
AM there's hint Of zephyrs from the nearn' shores
OF death
brght-red July rosebud dropped in Jenerwery snow
| The year sits on her punkinstool, her sun-Ksseu
She sets right there an smiles an cries. an strokes
IS. W. Foss in Yankee Blade.
BENJAMIN Thompson, Of Kennebunlport, Me-, who 10
niney-eght years Of age, owns and manages hrso
| farm. lie has raked after every load Of hay on hs
farm this summer, and pitched Off two loads IA.
health has been broken by any sickness, anu
he retains his mental faculties TO a remarkable 10
gree. lie is an early riser, reshes his food anu
sleeps well.
There Is one art seemingly simple, that Is hn9r55
10 very few aud that Is the ART OF taking on snm'
after exercising No one who freQuepts the gu W
nasiums during the summer season can have fa sSts
notice men tugging and srsning az their nanne hIr,
In vain endeavor to get them on. a nsnhet s IN
especially undershirt when wet with persp,ss sI
sticks considerably closer than brother ana huhu "a
OF them have been torn this summer oy trylnk ~ an,
move them In the manner that Is usual when tneS sso
dry. But wet shirt has no terrQrs for anyone Ma
knows how to handle IL. Cross the arms tahe nnS
Of the left side OF the shirt with the right MANU-,
the right side with the left hand and the sarinN "a
would have spared hundreds much inconvenenee, - ~
has sensbly diminished the average profsnh''-"
Louis Globe Democrat