The Indiana State sentinel., 1891-06-24
THE HOWARD LITERARY.
ON THE NEWSPAPER.
The Experiences OF John Henry as Related
by Frank"

LnlLlR so very udus EVEN luc OCNAA 10 Oh
the staff, too. The devil is in so many
businesses and professions in this country
that it wouldn't do to cut the line on him
In newspaper work. Not at all.
wouldn't be in for that.
You see the wav John Henry happened
TO get on the staff was this: The editor
of the Gapville Banner had SO many dOd-
rotted questions sent to him to answer
that he like to have gone crazy. This
needn't have been, but McCracken-thats
the editors name-wanted to oblige
everybody. and contrary TO the advice OF
his vile, who claims she knows just how
much McCracken does really know, he
made kind of a shake at answering
them. The consequence was that he had
TO take a bushel basket to the Office when
he went after his mail. Letters poured
in from all quarters protesting against his
answers, and challenging him to mortal
combat as well as argument. Sometimes
McCracken, or so he tells me, had to take
hold of his own suspenders and shake
himself to see whether he was really Nc.
Cracken or some other fellow. But the
when some historically inclined chap sent
the following question to him:
"Where did the title of prince OF Wales
originated"
In next weeks paper McCracken said:
GAS Queen Victoria was married IN 1910,
and she had children pretty fast, and the
prince of Wales was her second, he reck-
oned him and the title originated along
about '43 or II That is as near as he
could make guess"
This brought down all the school
ma'ams-especially the old maid element
among them-on McCraoken's already
sore head. They said he ought to be
ashamed of himself, and such ignorance,
also, for as prominent a man as the ed
itor of the Gapville Banner TO display.
One day O'Tool happened in. Don't
look so blamed down-hearted, McCrack
en-" he said. "You amt the first feller as
has made a mistake. Drat 1T, anyhow.
Couldn't people ever quit pesterin' the
life out of editors with questions? What
did any one want to know about the
prince OF Wales, titles OF English history
for, anyhow? And as for him, he'd like
10 sink the island to the bottom OF the
pecan and sal Ireland right over the spot.
Ii you've got 10 answer questions in your
paper" he continued, get man that
Henry Sanders down our way that nd just
strike YOU. He is double-barreled,
twenty-four-shooting dictionary, and hail
Columbia, Britannica encyclopedia all
rolled in one, with Peale's educator
throwed on top" So, on this recon-
mendatiOn, John Henry was hired, and
be sailed in on the query column
forthwith And such an inquiring, in
vestigating, answer my question" turn
of mind is the American public that John
Henry was soon the hardest worked man
on the staff. He finally had to eat his
meals at the desk and sleep in his chair
with a wet towel pinned around his head.
Mary Ann quit coming to the Office to see
him, for there was no room for her, the
place was so filed with books. There was
history on history, books of bible refer
ence, button-hOlinz, Bob lngersolls
writings and treatises on science of all
kinds, Sanscript works and the Koran"
hilariousIy mixed and associated with
"Reub the Ranger" and "Esteila's Low
ers." John Henry propped the legs of
his table with "Novum OrganUm" and
"Peck's Bad Boy and it was rumored
around that be was negotiating with En-
gland for the loan of the Rossetti Stone.
He wanted it to decipher the hieroglyph-
les sent TO him IN asking questions. /
though. It's according to who has told il
on him. If it vas old Granny Sims, it's
true. But If it was Deacon Squirtgun's
wife it will have to be taken with grain
of salt.
Mary Ann has an aunt, one of the un-
married, ancient female sort. OF late
years this aunt has taken to the stump in
the interest Of women's rights, and you
can bet she's a crOwder for them, too
Well, when this aunt OF Mary AIMS
wants TO ask questions she doesn't trust
TO the preliminary skirmishing of pen and
Ink. She Just trusts 10 her tongue to state
them and her personal appearance to
vouch for their being answered. This
ancient female. reading some OF the Won
derful answers her nephew-in-law, whom
she had never seen, was giving to the
world at large, came all the way up to
Gapville to interview him. With both
hands stuck wildly in his hair John Henry
was literally trying to raise himself by its
roots when she entered, for this old chest
nut had been resurrected and thrown at
him: "Who we're the sons of God that
married the daughters of men; and il
they were the sons of Adam as some sup
pose, where did the daughters of men
come from if Adam was the first man ?''
John Henry had gone through the
n
IN vain hope OF an answer. and had put it
by for future reference, when the a. f.,
bringing down her umbrella with a whack
on pile of last years almanacs to their
scattering, said
"Hi here, young man, | come to ask
you a question. You said IN one of your
answers to correspondents that when the
IaOdician council rejected as not inspired
go many books Of the new testament that
they rejected one wherein it was stated:
From henceforth, now and forever,
woman shall lead them, and be as rulers
of all nations If that, my honey, amt
a givin' women the right OF vote by
scripture then / never heard it. You
also, if / remember Alright, young feller,
said that very passage was what knocked
1t out. as not being inspired. Now, say
II was inspired, and / want to know where
them books are, that one, if l can find it,
Is qon' in again? Do you hear?"
John Henry had not looked up on her
entrance, for after putting by that first
Iawbreaker he had sailed In on the in
tricacies of the other questions before him.
She gave him a smart punch with her
umbrella by way of emphasizing her last
word. This had the effect of arousing
him TO semi-consciousness of her presence,
and caused a steadier pull up on his chair.
az i