The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-01-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

ILA AthllIQA - 9NNI HNN
Trying times-The quarter sessions.
Electric beles-Female telegraphists.
Items of interest - Pawnbrokers'
pledges.
Give no back talk to a humpbock.-
SJtings.
The pupil of the eye is necessarily
lashed. PittsJurg Dispatch
The flower of the family usually blooms
in the shade.-Dea0er Road.
1t is odd that all men are trying so
hard to get even.-DalIa8 (Tera$ Nens.
A mans lot may be hard, but his neigh.
| boris hens can make it look fuzzy.-Bing-
hdmt5a Leader.
Stove-"How did you get in here9"
| Stovepipe-"Oh, l elbowed my way in"
-New York Journal.
The man who wins the day ought to
have plenty of time at his disposal
Biaghamton Republican.
''Dress makes the man. we often hear,
And self-made men are deemed successes;
| But woman never will appear,
| Unless she's poor, in self-made dresses.
| Puck
No wonder hearts are so often wounded;
they're subject to so much betting
BinghamtoR Republican.
The capitalist who loaned money to
the cattle man referred to it as beef
stake Washington Star.
Those men who with Indian ways are ac-
| quainted
Declare that in war they are bad as they're
painted.
-Chicdgo Post.
Mrs. DeFadd-sWhata an eccentric per-
son Mrs. Homebody isl" Mrs. Domania-
''Isn't she the Oldest creature She isn't
making collection of anything .-Ne'O
York Weekly.
scrap of paper, creased and yellow
All that is left of the dear old past;
A tailor's bill paid the fellow;
1t was my frst-would t were my lasti y
-Pittsburg Bulletin.
Homebody-"How did you spend
your time while in Europe3" Returned
Tourist-'I spent most of it hunting
through my pockets for tips. Mar
York Weekly.
Up in Fractions: Employer Ito ndw
boy)-"Have you any brothers" New
Boy - "Yez-zir, one" Employer =
"One2" New Boy-"That is, two half
brothers. ."-Harper'S Basar.
Mr.. Bingo-"Tommy, when you get
to be the head of family, what will you
say to your sons9" Tommy 0houghtful.
lyJ-'I will tell them how good was
when was boy ."-Ne,O Orleans Times
Democrat.
Time is not money always-not bit.
That man will tell very dif'rent tale
| Who tries TO steal the savings OF a bank
And gets instead year or SO in Jail
philadelphia Times.
From the Contribution Boz: "The
idea, said the AfrirdG~- missionary. in
dignantly. "What's the matterg
idea of sending celluloid poker chips
aid the heathen in an ivory country!
Ner York Sun.
McFingle-''How much Is Brownst
worth2" McFangle -"Nothing. "Wh,
understand he had some valuable prol
erty" "Oh, yes; his property is wort
good deal. But Brownson himself i
worthless. ~ Boston 2raVeLer.
Wild-Eyed Operator-"Two and On
$4,000 worth, Stamp Clerk Gn Esto
ishmen0 - "Five thousand dolla
worth of stamps" eyes, want 10
vest in something that won't take a tm
bic on my hands. 10 Ohieago Tribune.
Love is an orchard where our feet
In courtship lead us for an hour,
To pluck the fruit theheart must eat
| For aye and some of it ssweet
Chicago Pos
Misunderstanding you want dc
town to-day, my dear9 Shall | o.
some of that self rising flour" VII
''We have plenty left, but | wish
would stop at an intelligence office
order me self rising servant girl
Ne'o York. Weekly.
At an examination in a AIlwa
school recently, one boy said, "Ila
/ bal was a man n-eater" Hannibal so
enough like cannibal to mislead cl
Another described the Executive
sion as "a place where they kill fo'
-Teras Sitings
A begging letter sent to a rich
asking for a pair of cast of tr
closed pathetically with these words So
send me, most honored sir, the troU rs,
aud they will be woven into the laurel
crown of your good deeds in heaven. -
F2iegeRdG Biastter.
1t is told OF Abbe List that en- one
of his concert tours through Germany he
was rendered banquet at a small town
| by his admirers. When it was found
| that thirteen were seated at the table the
! general embarrassment was checEed by
! LiSzt remarking, "Do not Doe Harmed
at such trifle. l can eat foI Jwo per-
sons, - CAicag0 HeyaH.