Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-01-01
A Great Genius.


"What would this be worth to you?"
inquired tall, slender man, with larg-
and mobile mouth, a retreating chin
and thin fringe of whiskers on the an
gle of either jaw, as be walked into the
Office of The Doodleville Yelper and laid
bundle of manuscripts on the editors
table
Editor Clugston picked it up leisurely
anu looked it over.
Him! This is poetry, is it notP" he
said.
Eyes; a poem on Immortality
81 thought | noticed that most of the
lines seemed to begin with q capital.
What was the inquiry you made about
it?"
''What is it worth to youP"
"What is your idea of its valued"
"Well, it took me four hours to write
it. | burned midnight oil over that
poem"
Il have done the same thing over a
tariff editorial many q time" unused
Mr.. Clugston.
'And it seems to me it ought to be
worth SO"
''Are you aware, Mr.. -
"My name is lsnoggles Perry Isnog-
giles. Accent on the i.
Thank you. Are you aware, Mr..
Isnoggles. that John Milton sold Para
disc Lost for only S72- one-third cash
and the rest on time?''
why
''Are you aware that Robert Burns
once tried to sell Tam O'Shanter' for
suit of clothes worth about S6.5C?"
mo. | never heard'-
did you know, Mr.. Isnoggles,' said
Editor Clugston, with increasing sever
ity "that Oliver Goldsmith once sold
poem two stickfuls long for glass of
ale and three links of sausage, and that
Homer refused an offer of a sheepskin
for his Iliad because he thought it was
worth two sheepskins?"
''T'll take S. for the poem, Mr.. Clugs-
ton -
Perhaps you have never heard, Mr.,
Isnoggles, pursued the editor, that
Plautus, the Roman poet, would grind
out rondeau at any time for half
of pint shrimpsP"
''Say $780," suggested the visitor.
''And you did not know, possibly,
four page poem about the streets of
Sorrento for six shillings, and couldn't
sell it at that
"Would $1.50 be too much for this?"
"A dollar and half for five pages of
manuscript that Dryden would have
sold, even when he was 30 years old,
for half . CROWN"
'You can have it for nothing, Mr..
Clugston
Him! This will take up--let me see--
in loaded long primer at least half col
umn. Mr., Isnoggles."
I'D like to have it go in. wouldn't
-er-mind paying you, say 80 cents,
Mr.. Clugston, if you can make room
for it. F"
''At regular rates, Mr. Isnoggles, re-
piled the editor. ''this would come to
about $3.50, but | believe in encoura-
ging home poets as much as | can.
You are home poet, are you not?''
81 was raised out here on the Bilby
farm
''And on that account" resumed the
editor, making few figures on a sheet
of paper before him, Il will come down
to an even S. bill -
Thank you, NJ. Clugston. 1t isn't
exactly what had expected, but p
Cash in advance, of course
Mr. Isnoggles drew out rather lean
wallet, extracted the money therefrom
and handed it over.
please say nothing about this" said
Mr.. Clugston grandlY, as he put the
money in pocketbook ten times leaner
than his visitors. Il wouldn't do it
for everybody,
Mr. Isnoggles expressed his gratitude
and walked out.
Darn a newspaper man that can't
devise some way to meet wash bill!''
soliloquized Editor CIugston as he
leaned back in his chair and looked at
himself in the glass.-Chlcago Tribune.