The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-08-17
The + inest Bread
Is made with Royal Bak-
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HUMoR IN A BERLIN POLICE COURT.
A Case OF Snoring aAd an Eccentric
Instance or Uncontrollabio Thirst.


for the comic side Of life wrote home last week
that in all his two months OF wandering In the
Fatnerland he had found not anything hnlf as
funny a. the proceedings in ono OF The Berlin
police courts. whose Justice Is ono OF the char
acters OF the town. and whose court furnishes
. heap OF laughing stock for the comic papers
every week. The Gothamite says that the
working peoples sense Of the humorous
seemed quite as keen as our own Yankee wits.
and he sent back to this city Q verbatim report
OF two cases.
A luckless csbman was brought before the
magistrate on the duplex charge OF malicious
mischief and assault with intent to kill The
following dialogue preceded the punishment
discreetly made to 1T the crime:
Prisoner-Your Honor. just as you see me
here in the dock ] stand In all competency
upon the platform Of Justice.
Judge-Very nicely said. but rather incom.
prehensible. Iprssume you mean to say ron
are not guilty?
P.-Just so entirely. a. the President Of my
club is In the habit OF remarkinG.
J.-You are charged with having tried to kill
the deaf and dumb tailor. p. and with having
torn pair Of his trousers.
P.-That the man ia deaf and dumb am
very sorry for but will give It to your Honor
In writing. sealed and attested. that would
sooner deal with bulky horse than with .
deaf and dumb tailor. Its hard getting along
with that sort OF man.
J.-You were sleeping In the Same room with
him2
Pho: on my part could not do any Sleep
ing. as he made so much noise that could not
close oven one eye. let alone two.
J.-Nonsense: how can = deaf and dumb
person mako any noisef
P.-Oh, my deaf and dumb friend does It
with . vengeance. your Honor snoring l
moan. and he snores SO that the beams bend
and tho tiles on the roof rattle forward and
back ward. and then straight ahead. and whom
I thought he had stopped It was mere de-
fusion. for he was only taking breath Tor
fresh start, and he began promptly new
verse. with now variations 1t was simply
you are 70 not Hst on D Your CAB al IN here,
E-But no SHORES 81 beastly. hs ought to b
J.NHow did you como to fight with him ?
P.-All GU account Of that snoring. that
triple distilled SNORING. 1 could not help my.
less cou. b. gol up and advised him to sarvle
his thront, as 1t must 10 very dry Win all that
III nat is avery INGENIOUS way to sircun.
charged with having poured pitcher 1ul iS Of
poos isSw "a ga. .ss Wsts ss ceaa ~
DO my IL
one 10 prevented from sleeping.
land this STATED the iighting2
yo4r ne da no. pH t nsS It s sh1e
But oooisI Oh ana won't to sleep again. Ne1t
morning lott him sleeping and sn"rpg $50 50
When came back at nieGt he was sitting on
the table. mum and su%; 80 that you could
LIN. meaning Us much as to, say :" Good even
ing in the deaf and dumb Language you o gr,
Jumped from the table, mad as a hornet.
pulled q letter out OF tho drawer and handedit
Ma a. ter reading is,-He says in this letter
NIGHTS Occurrence. aud that no viii move next
s" says are finished. and tIat yon can Eet them
from the landlord oy paying the bill Of $40
srSs him. H Il Sensible ep
P..Your Honor. according to Q paragI nph
Of the new Code looked d ninon ths IA Iiii a.
J.aoi that cannot Judge: out q revenge
you are said to have torn pair OF bis trousers
T.. 'S Yes. did tear them. your Honor. but
those trou ns IN the deaf and dumb snsSass
him des and dumb t e thee
and that they were old and worn I5ook pair
that s tho sn od 0srs
dumb language. and before knew It they iell
70 nieees In my avs 1 mo sns
'c JNo oe one will believe that. How about the
'n E@ihas was only little pleasantly Of mine
You see. your Honor. when l left hip next
1ast back 81 bis b and 1T il
for him on the table.
remain s another "are night in the room you viii
Tx him. and make him sick:
se q r. nss So P1 h. ne'f
only meant TO insinuets that would cool him
water did s9e nif tSst before and
more OF Ills snoring. .., 49,.
vi! MT h isn sG my fault your Honor that hs
SHORES like tho rhnocerSSt In th \, mein.gsrs:
"g gsie a"nSe are lned 20 marks Next case
The next prisoner ar55sgned or charge
p WiIh ora,oricsi leaninss Hs made Grand.
iioquent flourish with one hand and exolaim-
"Thirst. you. Honor, comes IKE athiei at st
R R sn l%i Hse tho sS vis1sss Who s.y.
nus. not in.ul. IT. the witness IN ,s. else will
Then w,Ii only say politely the witness
preYaricate,s, .,,ov tb,. What b.vs vou to ..v
In answer 10 the charge against youi".
"I'hirst, yogr Honor. comes like thief at
No more Of that wisdom. Do you want. me
to understand that you were not disorderly2"
Your Honor, believe l may have been
drunk as a lord. full as o barrel. Or
you are working man. Why do you waste
You nave easy talking. your Honor: when
n moor man works his bones all day his throat
gets dry as whisx broom e nisht and be-
Dut YOU need not drink 30 much"
The thirst. Your Honor. comes like"
Now, stop your pictorial explanation.
Whom nave y"u, got to testify that you were
not dis0rderlyr
My conscience, your Honor"
what do you meRnf
IL had sworn to myself never aRain to be-
have like this. and ny conscence tells me that
only through my thirst ! got mixed up in
this funny affair The thirst. your Honor,
comes" 49,
show that the affair was not SO funny as you
that YOU had met another strange laboring
man on the street anu accosted him With. Be;
when hs refused you ssI ,u Knocked hun
sentenced t" the workhou.e Tor Two months.m,
tiara n hia ey0s. "cOnRlder the thirst that