The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-10-13
suNFLowER sILHoUErTEs.
Eugene Ware says that PETER is jaw

Eugene Ware says that PETER is a jaw
hawker.
The trouble with Melbourne in Kansas
was that he had too clear an outlook.
The newspapers have been crying to the
old Republicans in the Alliance to ''come
off" But they don't do it. They come
back.
A popular method of suicide in Kansas
is for an Alliance man out in the audience
to interrupt George L. Anthony in one of
his speeches.
When it comes to an argument between
the Republican newspapers and the dis
gruntIed politician. the pen is mightier
than the sore-d.
1t is said that Ed Howe would give half
his fame if he could recall two of his
books, 1.-THE Mystery of the Locks" and
'The Ante -Mortem Statement"
None of the Democratic candidates in
Kansas this fall are railroad section men,
but the Republicans are going to see that
they make tracks before October is gone.
George T. Anthony is man who will
not allow any men or set or aggregation of
men to run him, but he would not object
if the Republican party would run him
for governor.
''No, sir" said a Kansas sheriff, 81
never saw the ocean, never was in a vessel.
The nearest / ever came to that kind OF u
thing was to superintend sale in town
ship"
They are thinking of abolishing the Office
of sergeant-at-arms in the United States
senate for the next six years. Whenever
they want the hall cleared the presiding
officer will recognize Senator PETER.
What distinction do you claim as
poet?" asked the discriminating editor. Il
believe am the only poet in America who
hasn't written poem to the CleYeland
baby. Pardon me. l didn't expect $40;
good day."
A Kansas lawyer it was who once enter
ed demurrer TO an indictment against a
prisoner charged with having shot several
fine hogs belonging to a neighbor, on the
ground that the shooting OF the animals
increased their value, as it saved the own
er the expense of killing them.
Ex-senator Ingalls, is galivanting around
TIE country with his long gray ulster on.
With all Difference to Ingalls, penchant
for the picturesque, there is no doubt but
that many an Alliance man in the last
legislature owed his election to that
CHASTITY but aristocratic looking overcoat.
"Sh Plunkard," the latest farce comedy
to strike Kansas, has a regular working
machine in full operation on the
stage. 1t is not, however, within the linn
its of legitimate theatricals to portray
farm life in Kansas. The average play
would limit the farmer 10 three hours in
which to recite his wrongs.
Jerry Simpson has good deal of native
wit after all. 1t is told of him the first
lime he went to Washington the Peace
which il surmounted by fe-
male figures, met his eyes among the first
,hings. What is that?" he asked of
1asser-by. THE Peace monument"
'Oh, you can't fool me If | am from the
said Jerry. 'that amt no Peace |
not with all them wimmen
INTO it."
won't you have cigar?" asked a man |
# shabby tramp who had just finished
'hand-out" yesterday, offering him dry, |
liscolored-looking article.
''Why, don't know" said the tramp,
and cycling the cigar suspicious
y. "Where did you get it,"
GA Republican candidate just gave it to
ne. But if you don't like it here is an-
ther"
''Where did you get that one?"
"a Democratic candidate gave me that
ne But if you don't like that here is an
ther one Take it,"
"Where did you get it?"
can Alliance candidate gave it to me-"
"Thank you," said the tramp, looking
t the three weeds and drawing an odor-
US article from his own pocket, Il guess
III smoke my pipe"