davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
Eastern Failures.

The Higganum Manufacturing Company.
of Higganum, Conn, has made an assign
ment. The Bayley Hat Factory, OF New
buryport, Mass, has also failed; liabilities,
S115,O00
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
HIRING SAILORS FOR BALMACEDA.

An Agent OF the CHILEAN President Trying
to Secure New Englanders.
1t is stated that an agent of Balmaceda's
government has traversed the whole coast
II New England. from Cape Cod to East
port. for the purpose Of hiring sailors to
make up crews for two men-of-war. The
ships have been fitted out In France, but the
necessary officers and crews could not be
secured in Europe Tho agent offers large
bounties and big wages How far he sue
ceeded Is not known.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
Servant Girl and Her Mistres, Burned

Servant Girl and Her mistress Burned.
AT Ann Aroors Mtchs, Navy E~nsr..s
want at the home OF Charles w. Vogel, was
lighting gasoline stove when the gasoline
ran over and caught fire. Mrs. Vogel and
the girl we're horribly burned, and both
died few hours later. Mr.. Vogel, who ran
to the assistance OF the women, was badly
burned about the hands.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30

ing the peace and enforcing the law. The
Governor declared that he would prevent
the fight IL IL took the whole state militia
IN do A.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
CHOLERA AT MECCA.

Hundreds OF Deaths Daily Reported
Among Turkish Pilgrims.
Advices from Mecca represent the cholera
as rapidly increasing at that place On one
day recently 40 deaths occurred, followed
by $50 on the next day. The mortality is
greatest among the Turkish pilgrims. The
Khedive has ordered rigorous measures to
prevent the introduction OF the disease into
Egypt Not one Egyptian has as yet been
Bmitten With the chofera-
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
cold BANK ROB BEERS.

Three Crooks Get Away with $4,000 I'm
broad Day ght at Easton. Pa
A daring robbery was committed In the
Easton, Pa, National Bank Mt noon by
three men who secured $4,000 and made
good their escape At the hour mentioned
three men entered the bank and while two
Of them engaged the two clerks who were
on duty in conversation the third man
managed TO get to the vault from which he
secured package containing $4,000.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30

The only countries now outside the
Universal Postal Congress are Cape Colony
and the South African Republics
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
Their Way I'm Missouri.

John Cook was shot and klllel at Tiff
City, Mo-, while disturbing religious
meeting. Another ruffian had his hand
shot Off
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
Business Failures,
nidn,. Raanh Pork.

The Citizens Bank, OF Jefferson, Texas.
has made an assignment, with T. ID. Rogers
as assignee.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30

The French Senate adjourned before
reaching the pork section Of the tariff bill.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
ON THE DIAMOND.

How the Clubs Engaged In tho National
Game Stand.
Following is a showing OF the standing of
each of the teams of the different associa-
kfoues
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30

The earth has caved In in many places In
Edwardsville. Pa. causing houses to topple
over and rendering the land In the vicinity
useless for further building.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
ELECTRIC FLASHES.
NEWS FROM ALL PARTS or
THE WORLD.
ANOTHER OHIO WRECK
PARIS THE SCENE OF A FRIGHT
Full CALAMITY.

An TdIotic Joker Caused the Ohio Anair-
The Deadly Gasoline stove--f3old Akron
Thieves - Psnsioners must Walt - isiE
gl1A4o ~ DakI&ss Texas
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30

The Swiss people are alarmed at the
'decsde1ce OF thewatch industry.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
IMMENSE WHEAT YIELD.
Prospect OF "a Big Harvest I'm Manitoba and
the Northwest

The Provincial Government has received
Information that as u result OF the pros
pect of big harvest in Manitoba and the
Northwest the Canadian Pacific Railway
has ordered fifty new locomotives and 1900
box-cars TO transport this seasons wheat
crop TO the seaboard. On the basis of the
crop report it is estimated that it will take
ten hours per day for seven months to
handle the Manitoba ami Northwest crop
alOne
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
GOULD ROADS CONSOLIDATE.

Tire Three Fort SCOTT Lines Merged Int,
One Company.
Ameeting of the directors of three of
Jay Gould's roads, the Fort Scott and
Southern, the Fort Scott and Eastern and
| Fort Scott Belt Terminal Railway, took
place at Fort Scott, Kan. They were con-
solldated under the name OF the Fort Scott
I Central Railway Company.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
THE MARKETS.

Mr.. Sturgeon is said to be progressing
slowly but satisfa ctorily toward recovery.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
mt Peffrr Tor Presi<Ient
The ONLY Ones Now ont.

KANSAS Auiance men are advocatfnR
Senator PETER for the Presidential nomina-
ton by the Peoples party.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
Mr.. Sturgeon Improving.

A hail-storm did great damage TO crop
in Mcpherson County, S. ID.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-30
ABArrLE FEARED.

The Entire Tennessee Militia ordered 60
the Briceviiic Mines.
Gov. Buchanan has ordered the entire
State militia 20 Briceville. Tenn, 10 pro-
toct oonvicts &C work In mines at that
place II 10 stated that 1900 miners are
marching TO the seat of war. II Is feared
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

TIE REAPPoRTIoNMEET.-T commit.
tee CD privileges and elections of the tn o
houses OF The legislature met Thursday az
se.noon and appointed joint eub-commis.
tse to work out the apportionment bills.
This subcommittee consist Of Senator Jor es
aud Dsieeate J. G. Gibson. chalrmen respec-
lively of the senate snd House privileges
md 'ect!oDs committees, and Meesrs. Nc
Iwsne sad Wilkins Of Acoomac, of the
House, ard ano her senator not yet named.
The spporticnment for members OF the
general Asss mbiy will be taken up imme-
diately ard completed before the adjourn
ment icr h, Christmas holidays, which it ls
proposed shall commence the 22d. The lsst
Uui ed States ceDgus will be the basis OF all
the calculations. In all probability Rich
nocG will receive en- edditonal member
tor the House, ard The tsme will be done
with R9suoke, Pulaski and smyth. The
senatorial districts will be apportioned at
= basis OF about 10000 population and The
Houee districts OF about 16 600.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
Shot the Preacher.

Nr. erd Mrs. w. E. Grlmsley. OF Sec"
Hill, N c., living together unhsppily, were
erraugire to separate. GrimsIe7 having de-
serted her, she Was going TO Der parents,
Grmsley. euspeoting his wifi, secrsied BIN
self under bed. Rev. J. T. Aoerns!hy,
pastor of the Met hodis. CHURCH there, Who
/, widely known In North Caroline, euter,d
ths room With biMrs. .Grimsley, and, it Is saif (.
tried to console her. A be was about TO
leave be kisssd her. As this moment the
husband came from bis hidlrg.p!ace, aud
aiming bis gun at lhs preachers head pull
ed the trigger There was mikfie, buS the
second barrel went eff and as Aternathy
threw up tis hands be vas struck by the
sho'. Hls hands was torn Co piecss. Some
snot struck his forehead AID moI h. He IL
severely Injured. his face being BADLY dis.
figured, but his wounds ere not cons.d cred
ta,a'. Grimsey was arrested and held 10
sppaer. Preach er Aberualhy telearepbed
hls presiding elder to come to Snow Hill,
and also rendered his resignation as pastor
O. the Snow Hill clrcnit. His action In kias-
ing Mrs Grimeley is condemned as gross
indiscretion, though specisl Gays 1t Ia not
thought bis intentions were evil. The shsir
hes created great sensation in tn at section.
M,e. Grimsley is q daughter Of Sheriff Muir
Eli, OF OasloI county.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

Tia VIRGINIA DEBT SETTLEMENT. The
London Times 10 lts financial article, says 1t
is likely, wretohed as the terms ere, that
the Virginia debt scheme will be accepted
a. baeis for compromise, though 1t is ad-
mitted by holders who are least disposed to
fight any longer that the scheme cannot be
accepted In its present form. The most
promising modification euggeeted is to sub
stitute $4,000 600 in bonds carrying per
cent interest from the date OF Issue. The
Times commeDds the proposal to the advls
ory committee in the belief that It's adoption
VIII bring about an immediate settlement.
At the headquarters OF the Virginia bond
holders committee i1 New York yesterday
it was sold that the recent cables chow q de-
c;ded MOD hcs,ion OF the Viewa entersiDod
by the Eogish bondhoJders respecting the
proposed settlement If the Virginia debt.
The official papers forwarded by the New
York bcndholders' committee haye been re-
celved 10 London, and 1t ia believed that 10
few days q favorable reply viii! bs re-
turned.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

JEWELS IN A TRAMPs LUNCH "A lady
beautiful gold ring, set with rub!es and
pearls, unconscionsly given away in sand-
witch to trsmp-!hat Ia the c,rcumstarc
which hos just come out In the tramp's
hearing before 90 Erie, Pa, magistrate.
The tramp had called aJ an east Second
street home and asked TOR bread. The
young lady OF the house took off her ring,
laid 1t on the kitchen table, ous two slices
of bread, unwlttiDgly laid one on the ring,
placed that elioe over tho other with its
layer OF meat, and thus involuntarily gave
away her ring, which adhered to the bot
tom OF the upper sllce of bread. The
trsmp's efforts to sell the ring led to arrest,
Identification and recovery.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
Health xs w Wealth

DB F. c. VESTS NERVE AND BEAIE Treat
NEXT. guaranteed specific for Eystsna, Dizzl'
ness Convu sions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia Head,
.che, Nervous Prostretion caused tg the use OF
rlcobol OF tobacco, Wakefulncss, Mental Deprecs-
ION Sof.aning of tho Brain resulting in insanity
md .nd esding to misery, decay and des:h, P5ena.
tare old Age, Barrenneas, Loeo OF Power
In oither so1 Involuntary Losses and spermato,rc-
rhcss caused by ovcr-ezortioD OF the brain, self
sbuse o. over. Indulgence. Each hox contains one
mouths treatment s1.00 box, or six boxes toT
500. sent By mail prepaid on receipt of price
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
30 care any caac With each order received by 17
Tor s;z boxes accompanied with $500, we Will
aend Tho purchaser orr written g1sI antee to re-
tand the money if tho treatment does not effect
cure. Guarantees issued only by
CHARLES a.. EESE9N.
Druggist, GOA King esIee;,
General Agent. kla<eHGris. Va
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
uTOOD AND COAL YARD
w AND FINE DWELLING
A

! offer st private sal, the Wood and Coal Yard
and Outfit OF the firm of Geo. e. Smith Son, on
Fairfax street. between Queen and Princess
streets, Alsxsn 1ris, Va. The outfit consists ol
one shute wagon, two shute carts, two wood carts
five horses, engine and boiler, one woodcutter,
one set of Fairbanks sea es and all other nects
sary appliances
The yard is doing good business, and this is 8
first cla,s opportunity for person to engage in
profitable enterprise.
Also tho residence. 222 north st. Assph street
The house and side lot hiss frontage on st. Asaf b
street of fifty feet nine inches, and has double
paIlor, dining room, kitchen, five btd rooms aud
conservatory, water, gas and latrobe stoves and il
in first class condition.
nov27 If VIM SMITH. City sergt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
NOW FOB SALE.

NOV FOB SALE.
CHOICE LOTS fo1 rae in w. Il. Dempsey
sub.d vision o, st. Asaph, on Washington street
extended, only 200 feet from st. ksaph Junction.
j.. clton desirable for residents.of Washington
or Alexandria.
srca an opportunity does not often present it.
self.
Very little money dOwn aud small monthly payments.
Examine it tor yourselt; tits only two minutes
vslk from Christ Church. oa Washington street,
and accessible to Washington ty railway every
hour in the day.
There is a nire FRAME HOUSE and TWO
LOTS on the subdivi,i5n that can be sold a; very
low figures 10 sn early purchaser.
Mr.. e T. Lucas, suctioneer, or ]. W. Bursop,
112 Faiifax street, will gladly chow the maps or
take perions 10 the premises at any time.
w. H. DEMPSEY, 1924 N. Y. ave. n. w.,
deco I'm Washington, D. G.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

BUCKLEN' ARNICA SALVE.
c. IIoa-s Salt pbenm Faver soree Tattor
Chapped Hands, Chiiblains, Cores snd all Skin
Eruptiops, and positively cureS Piles, or no pay
required. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sstie-
fsction. or money refunded. Plice 25 cents per
to1, For sale by z. 8. Leadbester & Fra.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
AlEDInN&L.
Cmce OF York Entcrpl ise,


Atlantic EIec.rcpo;se: Gentlemon-i o! the past
sve years my vie hss been g snforer from dya-
non.;e Va completely cid the disease make a
rprock of nor former sesf that life was almost de-
soaired of. Her nervous system waa almost en-.
tirely destroyed, snd ths sigatcst noise wouid
throw her into nerv us sp.srn. which would last
Ior hours Aedic-l skin fs'Ioj to bring any re-
<iei.
l;vine we we're Induced to try the Elect opose.
After persistent use OF tbs iost' umcnt the effect
.,os been wonderful Her nervous system has
,,oen restored to ITS almost norma! condition; her
digestion is wonderfully improved she is r>pid!y
gaining in Gosh; aud, upon the whole, is making
- MD recovery, which speaks volunes for the
vonierful carative powers OF ;ho Eect-opoisc, as
her csse wss considered hopelos. IL any are
.septical on the sGbfc', let taem try the Electro
,oise. and its wonderful powers will quickly dia-
r.i ail doub. Your truly. w NJ. PROPST.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12
EoB OYER FIFTY PEARS.

Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been used for over
Eiy Years by .Ai4ssss Of Mothers for their Chil-
dren While 7eskiss with Perfect Success. II Soothcs
the Child, set,sas the Gum, Alays all Pain; Cures
Wind Cs.;c and is the best remedy for DarThea.
Sold by Druggists in every part of the world. It's
value is incalculabe. Be sure and ask for Mrs.
Ri,,so.ss Soothing Sssau, and take no other kind.
Tventy.Hva esnts .ottle.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

A CRANK AT AN Iowa FUNERAL
day, while the Rev. DR.. Patterson was con-
Quoting the fueeral ef Fred Smith. an ul-
known man made his appearance at the res.
to the coffin, demanded that the funeral ser.
vices atop. He said he was commissioned
by Christ to raise the man from the dead
1t vas some time before the crank could he
taken frcn the room.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1891-12-12

DOB RFNT, SALE Oh EXCHANGE-HoUsE
IL 512 Prince street; nine rooms and bath; large
yard desirable locality.
nov25 tt Coz nute snd St. ks4ph sts.
E0E THE THAt t.SToAY B8ICK
r. DWELLING, in good ordes, lately occupied
by myself, no 1C9 s,uLh Fsirtax street. Apply
next door
nov9 tt THos. LEADBEATER.
COR RENT-sl. EGAHT THREE.sTORY
II BRICK 80iT 3, STORE and DWELLING
combined, Noe ia ard 116 north Fairfax street,
newly painted and paporod throughout; excellent
location. Will rent store or dwelling separately
if so desired. Apply to B. W. FRENCH, Alt and
419 King street. ie26 tt
The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1891-10-15

all we dodL % inphn toe ~ customs tie nn
/ F ds
h We
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-12-20
FoxY BOOMING OF GAS STOCK.
Chicago Consumers Could Not Understan
the Increase In Their Mills.

Chicago Consumers Could Not Understand
the Increase In Their bills.
CHICAGO. Dec. 19-During the present week
there has been general complaint by house,
holders that the bills for November rendered
by the Gas Trust were from 40 to 90 per cent.
larger than usual. The explanation of the
company is that the state Of the meters was
not taken as early as usual by about ten days.
and that instead OF paying for gas used dur
ing thirty days. the period was really forty
days. morning newspaper says that this
was a stock jobbing move intended to help on
the boom in Gas Trust stock in New York SO
as to facilitate the work Of running in" the
shorts. The article continues:
Tho gas managers have helped on the
boom with statements OF earnings. month
ago statement for the ten months OF 1901
was made, and comparison with the CORE:
gains. The market advanced handsomely on
that statement. ,somo investors being really
convinced that there was strong intrinsic value
to the stock. The plans OF the managers Of
this stock boom necessitated another excel
lent showing q earnings for the month Of No
thusiastic bull could desire. It showed that
which WAS an Increase Of $685. over Novem-
bsr as It has nov developed how this
Stock operators have been getting acquaint-
ed with this situation in the last day or two.
and they have attacked the market with re-
newed vigoE The market broke quite sharply
Thursday but recovered some before the day
closed: Yesterday the opening was 81. and
the price fell of point. but reacted a quarter
Mt Ia ri
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-12-20

f: . AZ:
ssi To III &
aSas storn '' ~ "SA'' H'' WORK "sa''ns
For many years he had been in the habit Of
visiting the 9ces Of the different tat. stsamshp
after leaving Ills desk Tor the day. and was 50
to ask for the lists: He copied these in some
a wonderfsl knowledge Of the anteeedents 81
many of the most prominent families Of to.
II remember whom the fathers Of good
many Of them. drove butchers and grooers'
down town. h. sad %yL yo9
daughters. They wouldn't do such a thing;
r fSs % NJ
let 70 b f g ma1
%here ed many
Y: Last Wednssday he became III az ne
saw him home. Iii His daus liter wanted him 70
remain at home the next day. but he insisted
sSad Fir pTSstTsts Or t5e aSYf 6:d
to get him on his feet, on Friday be insisted
na q Doctor and dang hter is tip il tRe
carriage and the result have been told. he
died while his Tas It ts drug store
Tho daughter. Mrs. j. H. Mitchell. Is HIS only
living child. A brother Of Mr.. Harris was
twice Mayor OF San Francisco.
The funeral will be from the house at az
o'clock to- morrow afternoon The interment
will be in Greenwood. The Comptroller's ONCE
will be represented. Some OF Mr.. Harris's
associates believe he went to the office on
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-12-20
RICHARDS FOUND WORTHY OF DEATH
But II He 10 Now Insane He Cannot -
Killed Until He Receivers.


The negro Noah Richards. Indifferent and
songful on his trial for stabbing Policeman
John J. Sherman to death. was found guilty in
the Court of Oyer and Terminer yesterday OF
murder in the first degree. but the jury re-
auested that he be examined as to his sanity.
The Jury did not agree on their verdict until
o'clock In the morning. after deliberation OF
twelve hours.
richards had slept well while the jury were
grayely considering what should be done with
his life. and he came to court apparently moro
Qnmindful of the proceedings than any one
disc In the court room When he and the jury
were ordered to stand up. and the significant
words of prisoner. look upon the jury. jury
men. look upon the prisoner" were uttered.
he looked full upon them without Vince.
although several jurymen had to look askance.
When asked il the Jury had reached q YER.
dict, the foreman said:
Guilty of murder in the first degree: but
We earnestly recommend that the prisoners
mental caiibre be made tho subject Of inquiry
by the proper authorities"
Justice Van Brunt said he would SEQ that
their Recommendation is complied with. and
Assistant District Attorney Sims said later
in the day that q motion would be made on
Monday for the appointment Of commission
to inquire into Richards sanity. The verdict
OF the Jury found that Richards was sane when
he committed the murder. 1t was for such
Commission to inquire into his present mental
condition. SO long as he Is insane lie cannot
be put to death. AZ the Tombs they think that
he has been shamning
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-12-20

That was the last public appearance Of JON
athan Dayton Harris. one Of New York's oldest
citizens and most faithful employees Mr..
Harris was the oldest man in the city's employ.
and had been constantly in harness since 1910.
He was picturesque figure. and the story OF
his later days is pathetic because OF his anxiety
R Resnsa after fS his visit to his office
Randa1Is i island MAJ then the property q his ma
b na ha Is P s until liz hs m ssts
the hsr q whom the city ss
ths his on mother had e prev
ously been lost IN business venture: 90.
vice the Emigration Commission was to some
extent under the control Of the city govern
G Comm He had desk in tho Mayors
Emigration Department he BECAME Mayors
iers Once At the time Of his death he was
nth assistant II the FP nan Ds
falling rapidly. for the past few months. but
his d dsS Sad dssat
lad s , $en {Ssss VA !;
ste.Ss had suFssstsd e II, Il Aa II that he
have worked for the city tho greater part
Of my life. he said; and II stop now VIII die.
was the Oldest citizen in the emploj OF the city.
and said he only hoped he would die in har-
ness. Fearing that he. might be- removed after
Gov. Prince Of New Mexico. his nephew. to ex-
ert any northumberland he could In his favor.
Whether Coy. Prince did anything or not ne
He began to fail percentitly several months
home. he insisted upon going to the office.
He boosted that he had not lost day from his
work in all his service except once. when no
birthday the other employees in the finance
department gave him ahandsome gold-headed
pears below his portrait in this column. Among
the few men who appeared at their des lex! dn ns
the old bookkeeper. Speaking OF this after
ward he said:
admit that had rather . hard time Of It. but ] got
there. There q good many younger men than
who did show up 1t was hard work getting to the
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-12-20
A Colored Priest Oraa,nea.

BALTIMORE Dec. 19.-Cardinal Gibbons. as
sisted by the Very Rev. DR.. Hagnien. President
OF st. Mary's Seminary OF st. Sulpicc; the
Rev. Father Slattery. chief Of the Josephine
Order here; the Rev. A. 6abetti. s. ]. Of Wood
stock College. and several Of the local clergy.
ordained this morning twenty-nine young
men-eight priests. six deacons. and twelve
sub-deacons. There were as many more
for the minor orders. The conerega-
ton included many colored people. They
came because colored man. was to
be ordained a priest by the Cardinal Arch
Uncles He was born In baltimore and Is bout
~ years q sge. When boy he served mass in
confirmed. II. Is at this church that he Will
celebrate his first mass on Christmas morning