Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-08-21
PRICE ONE CENT
orns Avn ENns.

Not Scriptural--St. Paul's epistles to
Minneapolis.
1t seems hard TO believe that a short
man is we'll brought tup.-Yonkers States
man.
Snodgrass (after Snively finishes fish
story)-Well, / like liar! Snively--You
egotist.-The Epoch.
A Kentucky Estimate. - Jimpson-
What is meant by the horn of plentya
Grogly-About a quart.
The excuse of every man who does not
mind his own business is thathe is trying
TO do good. Globe.
~These are Jewels of my own setting,
quoth the speckled hen, as she gathered
her chickens about her.-Buffalo En-
quirer.
DO you shave yourself all the timer"
asked the barber. mo, l stop OCCASION
ally for meals, said Jimpian savagely.
Truth.
Fishing. g.-He-What kind of men do
you think make the best husbandsg
She-Bachelors and widowers. Brook
lyn Life.
The last one man tells he is making
money is his wife, but she is the first
one he tells when he is losing it.-Atchi-
son Globe.
"What do you think of my angel
cake?" she asked. ats too heavy 10
fly" he replied. This was the beginning
of the end.
Did you ever go up in a balloong"
"once. What were your sensa-
tions?" "Oh, same as usual. WANTED
the earth.
When you see a rattlesnake with 10
rattles and button, you touch the but
ton and the snake will do the rest-To-
peka Journal.
No Harm Done.-"I was talking to a
boy this morning, when all of sudden
he shot up in the air out of sight. MAN
hole?" Nope. Elevator. Puck.
She-Oh, yes! quite believe there's a
fool in every family. Don't youg He
Well-er-my opinions rather biased. You
see I'm the only member of our family.
Judy.
He-You saw some old ruins while you
were in Europe, l suppose? She-Yes,
indeedl Some of them were so old that
they were all tumbled down.-Munsey's
Weekly.
A recipe for lemon pie vaguely adds:
"Then sit on a hot stove and stir con-
stantly." Just as if anybody could sis
on hot stove without stirring constantly.
The Morning Star.
Are you workingmen ?" asked the lady
who had given item each a good, big
piece of pie. Not Jest at the present
time, maam. We find it easier workin'
women. Eli, Jimi"-Detroit Free Press.
A Synonym.-First Juryman-Well.
we are agreed, with the exception of
Biggars. have argued with him until
am worn out, but he seems TO be i'm
movable. Second Juryman - Immova-
blel Why don't you say fixed
The Clock Really Went Off.-New
Servant-Can haye a different clock in
me bedroom, mum? Mistress-Why,
put that clock in your room for special
purpose. It's an alarm clock. New
Servant-Well, mum, can't stand it. II
woke me up this mornin'.
Gwendolen-And so you went through
Scotland, did you, Mr.. Cadbys How
nicel Did you see Wales, too {? Cadby-
wales Well-er-the fact Is, L don't
play baccarat, and he can't play poker,
SO | had no chance. Post.
Fangle-How did you happen to tell
Mrs. Fangle that you go to Europe 12
times a year, when you have never
crossed the ocean at all2 Cumso--She
must have misunderstood me. merely
told her that l go over the atlantic
Monthly.-Epoch.
After the Tiff.-He-Well, we won't
| quarrel about it any more, but just let il
go as it is, eh9 She-Yes. But George
dear, for the sake of the future
and harmonious future-I think you.
would better acknowledge before we
drop it altogether that you were wrong.
Don't you, dear Puck.
Uncertainty ae xhe Dance.