davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
BRIGHT BITS.

GRoCER-Our terms are cash-no credit
Harduppe-A bad principle-very bad. 1t will
lose you my trade MInSeys Weekly.
BULF1NcH-And so Aunt Edith took you with
her up into the choir, did she. Johnny?
Johnny who has some difficulty with his g's)
Yes | sat UP all anon the sin 'ers. Boston
Courier.
Miss UGLY GIRL-The whole affair was so alb
surd that assure you could hardly keep my
countenance.
Miss Flip-Why did you want to?-Baltimore
american.
AUNT lending her story)-And three lieu
tenants fell in the attack.
College Girl-And is it possible there are peo-
pie in this world hearuless enough to kill lieu
tenant,-F liegende Batter.
BAcHELoR-Fred, how would you define a love
letter.
Benedict-A love letter is a thing that ten
years afterward you generally wish you hadn't
written. -PhilGdelDhiG Record.
ADAM-Where shall we go to spend the sum
mer my dear?
Eve-I don't care about going anywhere.
haven't thing to wear.
Adam-Then well go to the seaside Chicago
Tribune.
MADAM is at the draper's, in the act of select
ing material for a new dress. mo, that is not
the kind of thing want; it is too bright-too
loud. My husband is very ill, and should like
something little quieter-say halfmourning.'
lie Petit HltLStre.
THE gentle maid was fond of treats,
OF treats for which paid:
She had a hungry tooth for sweets,
thirst for lemonade.
Her eyes for ice cream oft would plead,
AS could plainly see;
She was the dearest girl. indeed,
That ever smiled on me.
-NeD York Press.
| A SOLDIER wrote home for supply of cash
| Appended to the letter was the following post
Scrptum: Il felt so ashamed at having asked
you to send me 10 francs that | ran to the post
Office to get my letter back. Unfortunately it
| had gone Rect oral.
LoNG-I know an artist who painted a runa
way horse. 1t was natural that the beholders
| jumped out of the way.
Downing Humphl My friend McGilp painted
| a portrait of a lady that was so natural that he
| had to sue her for his bill.-LUe.
hE-Yes, darling, and it shall be the purpose
| OF my life to surround you with every com
! fort and to anticipate and crafty your every
| wish.
She-How good of you. Harry And all on
| SIP week, too Boston Transcript.
AT TIE NIUsEUM-Manager: For Heavens
| sake, what is the matter with Billy the tattoed
| goat that he's off his feed?
| Attendant: Well you see. he swallowed a
| cup of varnsh belonging TO the armless artist,
| and he's so stuck up that he won't eat circus
| posters any more.-MtnnedpoiisJ OnrHaL
| How ARE you getting on with the piano?
| asked Alphonso of his best beloved Matilda.
"Oh, very we'll; l can see the great progress
| my work"
| How is that?''
| away within week after began to practice;
| the next people stayed a month, the next ten
| weeks and the family there now have remained
| nearly six months. "-YGnkee Blade.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Because Hog-magnate Armour has agreed
to employ a German agent to inspect all
hogs slaughtered for expectation to Ger
many and pay the inspectors salary, the
Baltimore Catholic Mirror thinks that "Mr
Armour is nothing If not obliging." There
is nothing particularly obliging about that
neat arrangement. Since this man gets
his salary from Armour he is very apt to
think pretty well of Mr.. Armour. That's
human nature. Were he paid by the Ger
man government any differences with him
would essentially suspend Mr.. Armour's
traffic. But he is made Armour's employee,
and thus placed directly under that astute
managers immediate control Should Mr.
Armour at any time conclude that the man
is not properly earning his salary he can
turn him adrift and get another man.
Nothing particularly slow about the affable
Mr. Armour
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
She Always Contradicted Him

recent German paper tells the story of an
elderly man who had for a wife one of those
trying persons who. according TO their own
ideas, are always in the right says Youths
Companion, and who make it a point of con
sclence to prove every one else in the wrong.
The poor man was never allowed to make any
statement without having it instantly disputed
by his accurate but Irritating spouse. She had
acquired such a habit of correcting and con
tradcting him, that, according to the story. she
one day made mistake which gave her suffer
ing husband chance to laugh at her.
DO you remember. my dear" he said in q
retrospective mood, ''the lettercase embroid-
cred with pearl beads that you made for me
with your own hands, when we became en-
gagged? 1t was worn out years ago. but I can
still see it very plainly. On one side there was
embroidered a beautiful butterfly, and"
The butterfly was on the other side!' inter
rupted his wife, i'll her most decided tone
And she always complained that Mr. Under
field was fond Of telling stories without anv
point" whenever he referred to this converse
ton afterWard
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06


The MORNING News is published every day in
the year and is served to subscribers an the citD
AZ 25 cents a week, 81 90 a month, s. 90 for six
months and $40 90 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS, bV mail, one month
= 90; three months, 81 so; six months, s. o.
one year, $40 co.
The MORNING News. By mail six times week
without Sunday issue, three months, 81 90
nix months. 81 o.: one gear, IS 90.
The MORNING NEWS, Tri-Weekly, Mondays
Wednesdays and r ri lays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days aud Saturdays, three months, 81 %; sl1
months, 81 SO; one year. S5 90.
The SUNDAY News, Jy mall one year. 81 90
The WEEKLY News, By mail, one year, u -
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order, check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mail at risk of senders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
"MoRNING News" Savannah, Ga. 49,,
Transient advertisements. other than specs pes.
column, local or reading notices, anuse
ments and cheap or won't column, 10 cents
line. Fourteen lines of agate type-equai -
one inch space in depths the q anIH "lt,,,t
measurement. Contract rates and dlsSol"'S
made known on application at business oIiIce-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Supplementary proceedings do certainly
have a crushing effect upon the blithesome
and gorgeous Thespian. Ordinarily the
footlight favorite.n whose other name is
legion, will claim to be literally paraly zing
the world and actually wallowing in the
consequent wealth that his great talents COM
mand. But let suave and insidous law
yer happen along with a set of penetrating
supplementary proceedings and that same
erstwhile animated symposium of every
variety of success is instantly transformed
into the meekest of needy mortals, with
scarce a sufficiency for the day and grave
apprehensions:for the morrow. When Act
ress Louise Dudley Carter was Intercepted
in New York court the other day. with a
view to collecting bill of $175 claimed to
be due an artist for making pastel por-
trait of the ''artiste, as she is pleased to
designate herself, she virtually stated that
she owns nothing whatever, is without
means and living upon the bounty of her
mother after starring" all last season
without any sort of compensation. o, how
sad! Verify supplementary proceedings
have truly depressing effect upon the
! play-actor business.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

The MORNING News is on file at the Ioiio"lus
nlaoas where Advertising Rates and other In
formation regarding the paper can DO ooIaiheu'
NEW YORK CITY
J. H BATES, IS Park Row.
G. p RowEIL & Co., 10 Spruce street.
". w. SHARP & Co.. 81 Park Row.
FRANK HERMAN & Co. 1872 Broadway.
DAuCHY & Co., q Park Place.
J. W. THOMPSON, 80 Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
n W. AVER & Son. Times Building
BOSTON
g. r. NILES, $50 Washington street.
PETrKNGILL & Co, 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRp & THOMAS. Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
Epw1S ALDEN COMPANY, 6S West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIE H. P. HUBBARD COMPANY, % Elm street.
ST LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAx & Co., li27 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MoRN1NG NEWS BUREAU, 315 Whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE. 58 Mulberry street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
be Felt Grateful.

He was tall slim man, with a sachel in his
right hand and an umbrella, used as cane, il
his left, says the New York Herald, and the
tail of his faded linen duster was lifted out be-
hind him like hustle as he started to cross
Second avenue at Thirteenth street A beer
wagon which he did not see might have run
him down had not a boy called out an alarm
and pulled him back to the curbstone.
Boy, you doubtless saved me from serious
injury, and perhaps from death itself ~ OBJ
served the man as he realized the situation.
Yes, sir"
"And you should be rewarded"
81 don't want nuthin sir" modestly replied
the lad
But insist. Such actions as yours demand
liberal recognition. l am from Nebraska.
have just plated town there. | am asking
$50 each for lots on the main str, et, but, il
your case, you can take your pick for an ever
hundred, and, as taxes are now due. you'd bet
ter scrape around and get me ST so to pay OF
your lot!'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
Train's Schemes.

George Francis Train has two schemes
which are rather magnificent in their pro-
portions The alleged purpose of one of
them is to advertise the Chicago worlds fair
and the other is to remove the national
capital from Washington to Omaha And
Mr.. Train insinuetes that If they are not
adopted he will 60 back to silence and his
seat in Madison square, New York. He
calls attention to the fact that for fourteen
years Of his life he spoke to neither man nor
woman.
Mr.. Train thinks that by his scheme for
advertising the Chicago fair great deal of
money could be made and the fair saved
from financial ruin. He suggests that the
great steamship Majestic be hired for trip
around the world and that a company of
1000 men, each having an American flag
and each paying his own expenses shall be
her passengers. At any port at which the
steamship touches the 1000 men shall wave
their flags and the people be invited to pay
small sum to come on board and talk into
a telephone.
There is no doubt that Mr.. Trains steam
ship would attract great deal of attention
and it is probable that Mr.. Train would
think that he attracted more attention than
all the other 800 passengers. In fact, he
would get more advertising for himself Out
Of the scheme than the Chicago fair would
1t is not very clear how the fair would be
particularly benefited. Perhaps it would
be advisable to let Mr.. Train go back to
silence and seat In Madison Square.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Writing from the Chilean coast, an
American naval officer conveys the intell-
gence that our ancient naval tub known as
the Tallapoosa is hitched up to a Chilean
dock and afraid to let go for fear she will
plunge to the bottom and thereby reduce
general South American awe of our nauti-
cal proves. And the officer adds that
"whie all the frst-clsss cruisers are on the
home station doing the grand for the edi-
fication of the Newport swells the
South Atlantic squadron, are kept busy
skinning into some port every time rain
threatens, under fear of going to the bot.
tom of the sea-" Here is state of things
that Secretary Tracy should cast his nauti~
cal eye over. At the very least he should
hire some whaling brig to bring home our
naval officers.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
MEDICAL.
HEALTH IS WEALTH |

DR.. E C. VESTS NERVE AND BRAry Tpr
NENT, guaranteed specific for Hysteria 6i-lG-
ness, Conyulsions, Fits, Nervous NeuraIois
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the ns s
OF alcohol or tooocco. Nakefulness, Mental ~
preston Softenng Of the Brain resrti, %
sanity and Leading to misery. decay and daatb
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of pow
In either sex, Involuntary Losses and SperTnert
orrhoea caused by over-eXertiou of the brain ea1F
abuse or over-indulgencA. Each box contains
one months treatment. 81 90 box or sjx 49,
for IS 90 sent by mail prepaid on recent ~ Troo
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES 'lco'
To cure any case. With each order receiva5 h,
US for six boxes, accompanied with As on Va
VIII send the purchaser our written gusrantas
10 refund the money if the treatment does n0s
effect cure. Guarantees issued only by TIM
HEIDI DRUG CO., Sole Agents, Savannah Ca
For Chahng Prickly Heat. use Boracine Toilet
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
Among tho Flowers.

Theron Bro'rn in the Youths Companion
Not with the eagles flight, who sees below him
village CLEAN, a pine grove sleep in sand,
A blue lake smile, rivers liquid poem
Runits slim thread-hght through the prose of
land.
Nor where the sailor steers by southern islands,
Sighting some distant Thule of the sea
Through deserts of alternate sound and silence
And wids of wonder let my roaming be.
l would walk humbly, where no glass be
tween us
In days whose evening star is always Venus,
To sport with dew-drops, like bee, at home
'Tis Eden everywhere to hearts that listen
And watch the life of words and meadows
Each tnest blade Love hottest kisses christen,
And Beauty asks not where to bud and blow.
There is no music for the Joy of thinking
Like Flora's hymn in smiles and doors played,
No mood like that when sense and soul are
drinking
The red and Yellow honey that God made.
The blooming wilds his gardens are; some
cheering
Earth's ugliest waste has felt that flowers be
queath.
And all the winds DER summer hills careering
Sound softer for the sweetness that they breath.
Down lonely glens, in beds unshaped, unspaded,
The snowdrop letters of JOYS earliest word
Whiten the sod, and pink stars shine fern shaded
Where old creations curse was never heard.
Peace, Freedom. Purity her blOSsomed sample
Guards each in fields and forests evermore,
And the lost glories OF the worlds green tempIe
Show still some flakes of splendor on lis floor.
These are my school books. and study in them
A voice, a bliss of strange forgotten days
That brings me near the Love that could Legin
them,
And makes each petalled sweet a song of praise
SINCE his return to Italy Signor Salvini has
turned his attention to play-writlng, and
one of his productions will be given in this conn.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Kaiser Wilhelm is his own parson when
out on his imperial yacht. Late European
advices state that he recently conducted re
liglous services on board his yacht before
setting sail. That sort of economy will
throw the dominies out Of a job. Possibly
be was invoking blessings upon Bismarck.
Although the kaiser has not been regularly
ordained as a minister of grace and is not
supposed to be closely in touch with the
divine source of blessings he probably thinks
that no real or imaginary power would
venture to deny him anything.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Hos tilities in Chile appear to have been
inaugurated with a view to reducing the
population OF the country. At all events
the war is said to be conducted upon a basis
conducive to that end Neither side is said
to allow any quarter to the enemy. Nor
does either army ask any favors. Conflict
between them means killing az many as pos
sible. According to the statements of an
American naval officer stationed there the
bloodthirsty belligerents have no such ar
rangement as an ambulance corps and the
surgeons are all converted into officers OF
the line aud find it about all they can do 70
keep themselves alive. That sort of war
fare cannot be called altogether civil q -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
INDEX TO NBW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGS Savannah LodgetNo 81, X. OF T.;
The Excelsior Loan and Savings Company
Solomon's Lodge No. l, +. and A. NJ.
MILITARY ORDERS German Volunteers
SPECIAL NorIcEs-"As G God Fish in the Sea- "
Etc, c. H Dorset, Real Estate Dealer; Two
Fine Residences for Sale, DR.. Elliott; Or. Cox
to Attend to DR.. Reeds Practice; Beautiful
House for Sale, P. d. Daffin & Son; Notice OF
DR.. PURSES Return.
KEEP Your EYES SKINNED-B. H. Levy &
BRO.
! LET'S SwAp-The Savannah Carriage and
Wagon Company.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULE Ocean Steamship Com
.pany.
CHEAP CoLUaS ADvERrIsRMENrs-HelD Want
ed; Enoloy nsat Wanted; For Rant; For Sale:
Lost: Found; Personal: Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Windows are very much needed in New
York to let in air during the humid season.
They also come handy in case drunken
Gothamite may suddenly decide to get rid
of his wife by tossing her out. That is the
use that Butcher Baumeyer is accused of
making Of one of his windows Sunday
morning last. By the rarest chance, or her
unusually robust physique, she escaped all
serious injury except severe shaking up
that will result in bruises. But Mrs. Bau-
meyer is excessively jealous, and when her
spouse returned from the lodge late and
somewhat booty she is alleged to have sa-
luted him with heavy glass salt-cellar
instead of the traditional kiss Of welcome.
Wherefore all this agony. When she re-
covers from her jolts Mrs. Baumeyer will
probably again attempt to make use of the
family jar to preserve domestic happiness.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
He Valued Honors Slightly.

Arago the great French scientist, was never
seen with q decoration on his breast. He
valued honors slightly. One evening Leverrier
the astronomer. called on him on his way tc
dine with minister, says the Youths Com
pdntOn.
He expressed a wish to appear decorated
with an order to which he was entitled having
received the official notice of the honor al
though he mad not as yet the decoration itself.
open tnat drawer" said Arago, and take
whatever you want
In that drawer were all the crosses and rib
bons which kings and emperors confer.
While Arago wished above everything 70
prOmulgate science aud to make his researches
useful, he did not attempt to identify him
self forever with his discoveries by writing
books.
He had no time for writing. but contented
himself With noting the results of his WORK in
the record of the bureau of longitude, or IA
nounclng 1t verba ly to the academy.
But this distinguished man dreaded nothng
more than seeming ridiculous. He was careful
OF his dignity even with his most intimate
friends
Eugene de Mirecourt gives an amusing &C
count OF Arago's Modification at having to
share room with his friend, NJ. Quetelet di-
rector at the Brussels observatory
Iney were al Louvain. When it appeared
that the best accommodation that could be
given them was one room with two beds, Arago
seemed much disturbed. When they went to
the room he paced the floor impatiently, while
the Belgian astronomer watched him IN aston
ishnent and dared not prepare for bed.
Fl ally Arago seemed TO form a desperate
resolution. He exclaimed: II ought 70 tell
you, my dear friend, that it is impossible for
me to sleep unless have my head"-
"What?n
"A cotton nightcap,'
Faith, that is my own habit" replied NJ
Quetelet. Many persons cover their heads so
when they go to bed"
DO you think so?" said Arago, with a sigh of
relief. But that is not all. When sleep
"Well?"
II snorer'
"Ah, SO dol. make as much noise as a pipe
organ" returned the Belgian
oh, well. then, that is Different - said Arago
much conSoled. Let US go to bed"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

School funds in Kansas are said to be di-
verted in a very singular way that would
probably not occur outside Of Kansas
Allotments for school expenses appear to be
made by districts measurably irrespective
of population. In that way certain dis
trict in Meade county that is said to contain
but one family-of which the father and
mother constitute the school board and
their only daughter is principal and assist
ants said to be receiving an undue share
of the state fund, because of the unquah-
fed approval of the school principal by the
board which induces that faithful and
highly appreciative institution to frequently
raise the salary of this model instructor.
What "neat snap that is, tc
be sure Very few families have
the regulating of their OVID in
come in that way, by a simple hsrmo-
NOUS agreement among themselves Nor
are many families so substantially compen-
stated by the taxpayers of a state for merely
holding down a school "deestrict. It's 's
dead smooth scheme" all around.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Transition from the verge of the grave
to robust health" has been almost start
lingly sudden in the case Of Mr.. Gladstone.
Only short time ago we we're led to ex-
pect his demise within few hours, and
now the dispatches state that the grand
old man" is in robust health. 1t seems
almost incredible but for the accompanying
explanation that the English tory news
papers have lately been making a concerted
effort to write him out Of existence some
what after the same manner of the recent
republican attempt TO write Mr.. Blaine to
death. Admirers Of the British statesman
the world over will be greatly gratifed to
know tina this health is now in excellent
condition
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

An exchange tells narrowing story of a
man who fell sixty feet from a telegraph
pole aud stove in his ribs, broke his back,
fractured his skull, knocked out some teeth
bruised an eye, shattered his nose, stumped
his toe and caused blood to gush from his
ears. These injuries are sympathetically
referred to in headline, which describes
the calamity as Terrible Injuries from a
Fall" Yet there is nothing in the whole
story to show that the man was at all hurt,
until after he had finished up his fall and
struck pile of bricks.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Salvos of impure Texas eggs administered
to Evangelist Sam Jones at Houston APP
pear to have only egged him on to strain his
suspenders in bis frantic efforts to beat the
devil with varied and grotesque vitupera-
ton. just as soon as he had shed all of those
unsavory scrambled eggs he scrambled out
of Texas and broke for the interior OF Mis-
souri, to draw large drafts of fresh atmos-
phere and unload his mind upon the natives
concerning Texas customs and the objec-
lions he has thereto. Sam is still playing
circus
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
OUR NEW YORK OFFICE.

Mr.. ]. FLYNN, General Advertising Agent
Of the MORNING NEws, Office % PARK row.
New York All advertising business
the states of Georgia, Florida and South caro-
lima will be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
Britain,s ROYAL Baby.

I From the Chicago Tribune (Rep.l
Some of our English cousins are calling the
attention Of civilization to the fact that the
Duchess Of Fife frequently walks the streets Of
Brighton with her baby in her arms. The fire.
quency with which TINS information is furnished
leads one 10 suppose that English mothers are
IN the habit OF tying a rope around the necks OF
their offspring and dragging them along the
sidewalk.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
Mevhap It Was Merlted.

From the NetO York Press (Rep.)
Brooklyn man has just been sentenced to
twenty nine days imprisonment for smashing
his wife's piano. The judge ought to have sus-
pended sentence till lie found out what sort of
a player the wife was
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06

Out in Ohio Socksie Simpson and his
crowd are after Senator John Sherman on
the keen jump. They say they are bound
to have his scalp even though they have to
join hands with Foraker in order to get it.
That would probably suit the great bowling
precursor of calamity first Even
Socksie is no more eager to head off Mr..
Sherman than the fire-alarm shouter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-06
Vas Is Los Nit Peffer2

Prom the NetJ YORK World Dent.)
For some unexplained reason Senator PETER
failed to attend the fourteenth annual session
of the Paper Manufacturers Association, and
that body failed to pass him vote of thanks
for his views on fiat money.