davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29
BITS OF WIT.
Selections From the Latest Issue of
Harper's Bazaar.

Selections From the Latest Issue of
Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Smith Ito museum manager in the
! Bowery)-'I brought my by down to see
| if coudn' get him an engagement here"
! Museum Manager-"What can he show?"
Mr. Smith-"You'll plainly see that one of
his eyes is jet black. while the other is a
light blue"
Museum Manager-"A man with a black
and blue eye is no novelty in this vicinity
Don't want him."
Senior Partner-''Look here, Mr.. Sheeply.
the 1st of January you came to me and said
you were seriously thinking of getting mar
ried, and on the strength OF that l gave you
a raise in your salary. What's the matter?
Aren't you going to get marriedP'
Sheeply-"No, sir. | thought so seriously
of it that | concluded l wouldn't"
He-I didn't get your last letter.
She. (pouting)-"And l sent you kiss
in it,"
He-"How unbusiness-llke You are! Don't
you know that letters containing valuables
should be registered?'
He was allowed to kiss away the pout.
Jagway-Was that you l saw driving
around in carriage the other dayp And
yet you cannot afford to pay me the So you
owe me?
see the bill owe the liverystabe.
Editor-Young man. your poem is excel
lent in many respects. but as we have
enough such material to last us for the next
ten years, we feel obliged to decline it.
Spring poet (hopefully)-Well, sir, you
will have to have something for the eleventh
year.
Sanso Gin the sleeper)-I say, old man.
Rodd-What is it?
Sanso-Which had we better do, have the
porter blacken our shoes aud tip him as he
expects TO be tipped, or wait until we reach
our destination and buy new pairs2
Maiden of Forty Summers (after viewing
collection of antiquities)-You have WON
derful taste, Mr.. Poandro.
Mr.. Poandro Owner of collection)-I need
one thing to make the house complete, Miss
Passe. VIII you marry me?
-
"Shall / shovel off the sidewalk, ma am"
| inquired the boy with the snow-Shovel.
mo; | may need the sidewalk again."
| replied the good woman, who happened to
be VasSar graduate !" You may remove
the snow, however"
Even school has its pleasures" said
Willie.
"You have found that out, have you?"
asked tile teacher
Eyes. | amt been to school yet but what
il let out before the day was over"
~
"How do you sell your music?" asked 3
prospective customer.
1T depends on what kind you want to
buy" replied the dealer. Organ music |
sell by the choir and piano music by the
pound"
| One would naturally suppose profanity o
| be at discount in Grand Rapids (Mich J
| factory, where a fine of 3 cents is impose d
| for each oath; but the box for the nickel S
is nearly full, and The contents are to be de-
! voted to charitable purposes.
| An official survey shows that Rhode
| Islands nearest approach to mountain is
an eminenee in Glocester which rises sos
| feet above sea level and to which the name
| Durfee Hill has been given.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

In thirty-ive parishes of Louisiana the
colored people outnulnber the whites In
some cases in proportion Of fifteen to one,
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

An official survey shows that Rhode
Islands nearest approach to a mountain is
an eminence in Glocester which rises sos
feet above sea level and to which the name
Durfee Hill has been given.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

He-"I didn't get your last letter."
She (pouting)-"And l sent you kiss
in itY'
He-"How unbusiness-likey You are! Don't
you know that letters containing valuables
should be registered?"
He was allowed to kiss away the pout.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

no means been reached then. You do not
get fine horses without good blood and good
breeding: thoroughbred never comes of a
dunghill." pUDp DoRIE.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

One would naturally suppose profanity to
be at a discount in Grand Rapids mich J
factory, where fine of cents is impose d
for each oath; but the box for the nickel 5
Is nearly full, and The contents are to be de-
voted to charitable PURPOSES
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29
FASHIONS VAGARIBS.
Something New in The WaY Of Stylish Riding
Habits.

Side by side, reins in hand.
Riding fast,
In the glow Of the day
Nearly past.
Side by side, reinS I'm hand,
Aud-abSurdi
Both in love, but they speak
Not word,
Till the moon rising up
Ends the day.
Then The reius from their hands
sin aNVav-
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29
MY SUPERNATURAL
AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
Photographs Of a Jlggler'S Trick Show
No InGarthly Revelations.
My Double Is Seen by Three Persons While
Am in Another Room-A Case of Divorce
From Ones Self When Wide Awake.

Written and Copyrighted for TIE SUNDAY CALL
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

NEW YORK, March 23 1S91.-There is no
surer sign of tile advent of real spring
weather than the appearance in the park
and on the boulevards of groups of eques-
triennes, and that sign may lie looked for
now that lent is drawing 10 a close, and the
wanderers from the south are vending
their homeward way to take part in the ap-
preaching gayeties. Our American girls
have been learning of late years that there
is nothing so Productive Of a graceful
carriage as horseback exercise, and like
wise that no PHYSICIANS prescription will
brighten the eyes and rouge the cheeks as
effectually as the morning galiop in the
crisp air and warm SuGbeamS. This they
have learned from their English cousins,
whose ride is as much part Of the days
programme as the morning bath and the
evening toilet for dinner. From these same
experienced teachers, too, has been learned
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

Editor-Young man. your poem is excel
lent in many respects. but as we have
enough such material to last us for the next
ten years, we feel obliged to decline de it.
will have to have something for the eleventh
year.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

Jagway-Was that you l saw driving
around in a carriage the other dayp And
yet you cannot afford to pay me the So you
owe me?
1ravers-That's nothing. You ought to
see the bill owe the livery-stable.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29

"How do you sell your music?" asked q
prospective customer.
'It depends on what kind you want to
buy" replied the dealer. Organ music
sell by the choir ana piano music by the
pound"
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-03-29
sanso Gin the sleeper)-I say, old man.

Sanso-Which had we better do, have the
porter blacken our shoes aud tip him as he
expects TO be tipped, or wait until we reach
our destination and buy new pairsP
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30

Bear in mind that Frank J. Beitel
keeps builders hardware and lumber,
at the International and Great North
ern Depot. If
-Strayed or stolen, one iron grey
horse branded circle on left shoulder,
with large scar ON left hind foot, be-
low fetlOck. Fifteen dollars reward
for return to Hagy Bros, Prospect
Hill. 500 st
Every lady in San Antonio
should see Wolfson's magnificent dis
play Of trimmed hats and bonnets
this week. No such value ave be.
fore seen in this city is strictly first
class styles.
Next Friday will be the gala day
at Wolfson's. Grand Ten-Cent clear
ance sale of various articles from all
departments, representing a value in
many instances of two or three times
this amount.
Billiard and Pool tables for sale
Ed Friedrich, 12Crocket st. 6:ll:lm
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
Light Flashes.

There were five cases before the
recorder, this morning. Ole vas
dismissed, the others fined. the fines
amounted to $65.
The deputies of Sheriff Mccall are
now at the disposal Of the county
board of equalization, to summon
property owners before the board.
L. M. Michael has filed garnish-
ment suit against Gus. A. Ramp
mann in Judge Kings court.
John Rodman has been charged
with theft of $3.50 from w. A. Nor
gan.
The Fashion theatre Eases were
postponed by the recorder today.
Petty burglaries are reported ev-
cry day now, as regularly as the sun
rises.
The soldiers who are encamped
at Leon Springs along the Arkansas
Pass railway could be made to battle
i'll q more becoming manner, or at
least out Of sight of passengers at
train time, If their officers were more
vigilant.
SdLo VI OuC SuOuo-
and trimmed hats and bonnets. The
entire residue of summer stock Of 8
large New York manufacturing and
importing concern, bought by US Tor
q mere song, will be literally
slaughtered this week at such ridic-
ulously low prices prices that other
houses who advertise to sell at soc on
the dollar will be dear in comparison.
L. WoLFsoN.
There was q big rush at NJ. F. Ell
lis & Co.'s on Saturday, the first day
of the great closing out sale of boots,
shoes, and slippers. The sale will be
continued until the entire stock is
sold. Don't forget the place, north
west corner of Main Plaza. 6 20 If.
This is the great bargain week
at S%ullivan's. Many lines of shoes
and slippers at cost. 6 20 If.
The "King's Daughters" of
Trinity NJ. E. church have provided
q pleasant and varied tertainment.
All are cordially invited. Tuesday
evening at the residence of Mrs.
G. johnson, SIS North Flores
street. 2t
The San Antonio Schutzen Verein
held q meeting last night and decided
not to go to New Braunfels July 4th
to take part in the tournament there.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30

"A full stock Of Luydies and
homeopathic medicines and physi-
clans supplies, at Tips & Siver-
thorn's, druggists. 5:27 If
Bear In .nind that Frank ]. Beitel
keeps builders hardware and lumber,
at the International and Great North.
ern depot. If
Bear In mind that Frank ]. Beitel
keeps builders hardware and lumbert
at the International and Great North
ern depot.
Flowers of all kinds, and novel
ties in Hats, also Shirred Hats and
babies fine caps, at bottom prices at
Misses Kirchner's, 235 West Com
merce street. sill tt
&C. c. G. Certain Chill Cure" is pleas
ant to take and harmless. Children like
it. Guaranteed to cure chills and fever.
Sold by A. DreiSs. 6-11-1m
". Lorra the tailor takes pleasure in
announcing the arrival of a complete
stock Of spring and summer goods and
asks his customers and friends to call and
examine same before purchasing else
where. fit and satisfaction guaran-
teed. 3-l6-tf
"A UNI SylihuCi pICso oiLC VI oCo
10 K %. Speed $500 per hour. Bran
new, cost $3.50. Will be sold at q
liberal discount. Terms easy. Adj
dress T. B. Johnson.
Il will put on sale Monday, June
%, 120 splendid lots at cash prices,
and take at par the Sam Maverick
Bank paper. This is splendid pro-
perty and will double in q short time.
Good for m week only. Call at 3l3
East Houston street. n. MACKEY.
6:24:tf
Furnished office for rent. Apply
to T. B. JOHNSON, Nc. 4 E. Commerce
street. 6;22tf
There is q beautiful line of those
wonderful gas ranges, on exhibition
at 224 E.. Houston street. Just the
thing for this hot season. 6:23 I'm
If you want to cool off take a
ride on the South Heights electric
cars and enjoy the fresh, pure air for
which South Heights is famous, then
call at the compsny's Office in the
Menger Hotel and buy some lots,
while you a get them cheap. Wat
son & Co., Managers. 6-l9 If
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30

June 81, 1891.
DAILY LIGHT.
Nearly $4,000 Texas cattle arrived
here on Monday, Tuesday, Wednes-
day and Thursday of this week ;all but
choice ripe steers declined 35 to 40c.
Best cattle were scarce and wanted.
For two cars of 1173 pound Texas
steers we got $50 on the low day of
this week. On Friday the run of Tex
as cattle was very small, the market
was excited Is to zoe higher on all
steers. Today Saturday $500 Texas
cattle arrived; all of yesterdays ac-
tiyity was gone, and our market clos
ed 10c lower than on Friday. We are
advising our patrons not to ship any
thin, light weight steers just
now, prices are so low for
this kind that 1t will doubt
less pay to hold such cattle until they
gain flesh and weight. Texas bulls
and stays are in liberal supply and
selling very low. We quote common
to best grass bulls LAO to LIS. The
demand for Texas sheep has been
about equal to the supply and prices
as compared to last week are un-
changed. Yours truly,
Chicago Live Stock Commission Co.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
More Activity Needed.

The secretary of the German Day
association issues q report on the at
fairs of the association and the chan
ces of celebrating German Day. In
it he says $4,000 of the $4,000 required
for the grand event have been easily
secured, but that owing to inactivity
of certain committees and members,
the work is seemingly at a standstill.
He hints that these members should
either step down and out or else begin
work.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
Sad News From Home

Conductor G. w. Shoff, Of the s. A.
P, n of our popular Pythian
Knights, received q telegram from his
old home in Pennsylvania, that his
mother, now S4 years old, was soon
expected to pass away. MI. Shof
left last evening to attend her bed
side. He has the sympathy of many
friends.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
LOCAL NEWS,

CITY LOCAL NEWS.
Use Lotus Powders for the teeth. If
Rooms for rent, Bexar Apartment
Building, Houston street. 5-26-1m
Best quality cord and stove wood; j.
j. Olsen & Son, Tel. 4SS. 4-11-lf
DIR. Won Koehring,
229 Garden street, Tel. 476. 6-15-1m
-Sarilla, Great Blood Purifier.
Try Sarilla, so cents.
Marble and granite monuments,
latest designs. Zirkel & Co. 69tf
Summer corsets, all styles, at
Misses Kirchner's, 235 West Com
merce street. 5-i1 If
If you want to buy q fine buggy
at q bargain, call and see the one on
consignment at M. Pigott's. 6:19 If
II. B. Henysn, Lawyer, soIedad
Block. 613 I'm.
Granite columns of the red or
gray granite, and all kinds of build
ing-rOck work at Zirkel & Co. 66tf
The handsomest line OF wall
papers and the lowest prices, M. Her
WICK, Alamo Stre0t. o:lo u
ROUGH ON TOOTHACHE. Instant
relief 15c. ROUGH ON CORNS. Liquid,
d5c. Salve 10c.
Don't fail to take q ride around
the West End Lake on the new line.
5:29tf
Don't wear q greasy hat. Mayer
stadt, 80 Soledad, renOvates them
Three bottles Gilt Edge and other
polish for Csc, at Sullivan's shoe store.
$40 If
DIR. 8. Burg, late physician Inn
periai Hospital of Vienna. Office and
residence 244 North street. Telephone
l22. -2O-6m
&C. C. C. Certain Chill Cure holds no
middle rank, but is at the front, it is
pleasant to take and guaranteed to cure
chills and fever. Sold by A. Dreiss. 6 lin
Fine muslin underwear, silk and
Isle under waists, to be closed out at
lowest prices. MoKE's MILLINERY
PARLoR. 6:25:3t
Look out for Wolfson's great ten
cent sale next Friday.
See WoIfson's speciarbargaln sale
of silks; choice at 29c per yard.
M. F. Ellis &..Co., shoe dealers,
Main Plaza, are going out of business
and are offering their entire stock at
cost. 6 % If.
You can see a good show at the
Fashion tonight. II
Our local sportsmen are gathering
in q few doves from about the water
ing places near the city.
Some of the best people in the va
riety profession will appear at the
Fashion tonight. 1t
Southern baseball club meets to-
night.
There will be q grand calico hop
at the Fashion theatre tonight. 1t
The fair grounds will be taken
for o driving park.
"A Mexican SO years of age was
pensioned for one month yesterday
by the county court.
j. II. Schroeder is in Cincinnati,
attending the national convention of
plumbers.
-Andreas Cara, aged so years,
died yesterday. He was a member of
the Mexican Benevolent association.
During this hot weather supply
your families with delicious ice
cream by ringing up $50 or leaving
orders at 297 South Alamo street. I'm
For Rent:..16 room boarding house,
500 Austin street, opposite passenger
depot. Rent $40 per month. 6:29 st
Grey ooze calf Balls and Oxfords
are the latest for gentlemen. A full
stock at ~Sullivan's, Commerce and st.
Mary's ST.. 6 20 If.
"A trial will convince the most skepti-
teal that &c. G. c.. Certain Cough Cure
is what its name implies a certain cure
Sold by A. Dreiss. 6-11-1m
Wrought iron fencing for resi-
dence lots and cemetery at lowest
prices at Zirkel & Co
Everything new, neat and clean
at the Fashion tonight. 1t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30

Fearful wind and rain storm report
ed in Indiana and Kentucky.
The Missouri is again on the rise
and great damage Is feared.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
White Vests,

Stripes, Checks and Figures, single
breasted at SI.oo, worth $3.50.
Very dressy effects in double br easted
at SI.5o, worth $500.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-30
STOCK MARKET.

UNION STOCK YARDS, CHICAGO, I
June 81, 1891.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-08-16

and possessons with no secure promise OF uit,
mate ACKNOWLEDGMENT. AS an accomplished
commentator has suggested, he is elevated above
tbe sphere of ordinary ambition, and is bound
by the strongest ties to the throne
That there is some potent influence at work
IN fostering this rebellion cannot, however DO
questioned. 1t is aided by many secret socl-
cities. of long standing in China, and notably
nv the Kolagwhei, an association that enlis'S
neonIe of all ranks, from Governors OF Prov
;nces TO discharged soldiers, in embroilipg the
nresent Government with foreign nations ana
40 improving the opportunities for successful
revolt The Kolagwhei's work is clearly dis
cornihIe in the outrages in the Yang hang
region. where long drouths have destroyed th9
orr ne and the surviving remnants OF the starved
nonulation are ready for any excess. me
nrompt action of the French naval commander
AZ Kiul,ang and the presence OF European
warships at other open ports have apparently
nrevented further attacks on resident whites
and the reinforcement of the American Asiatlc
SQUADRON offers an additional safeguard TO
Americans 1t is notable that Ii Hung Chang
has so far offered no open opposition to the III
surpents
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-08-16
4 CULTIVATED ROOSTER.

The common domestic rooster is distinguished
for two things. namely, Growing, and calling his
Hoclc of hens TO feast on worm and then calmly
swallowing it himself Certain 1--WE fear ill-na-
tured ladies connected with the woman suffrage
movement have said that the rooster more closely
resembles man than any other of the lower ami
mails. This is exceedingly hnkind in the ladies'.
especially since no man ever traced resemblance
between n woman and any worse domestic fowl
than the duck But we cannot stop to defend
down-trodden man; nor will we pause to con-
slider the habits of the ingenious rooster in re-
gard 10 the worm and the hens; we have only
time 10 glance for a moment at his Growing pro-
pensities, and especially the recent achievement
in that line of particular rooster
The general statement may be made that
rooster always crows when he ought not to.
The underhand way In which he often betrays
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-08-16
PERSONAL.

To illustrate Mrs. Folks popularity when she wss
mistress Of the White House they recount this Incl
dent At one OF her receptions, while she sat sayy
talking with the crowd about her sofa, distinguished
south Caroinian raised his voice-he meant to be
heard-and said, Madam, there is a voc pronouncel
against you In the Bible.' Every voice was hashed
and scared look came over the faces Of the guests;
only Mrs Polk was at ease, and while her black eyes
flashed, she said wtl bright smile, swhat have
unto you when all men speak we'll Of you Again
tie guests brcathed freely and the wit ana sayety con
tnued.
Leslie W. Russell, who has been nominated by the
Republicans for Supreme Court Judge IN tho
Fourth Judicial District Of this state lives at Canton
in St. Lawrence County. and has held variety OF local
and state Offices. lie has been County Judge Dis
trict-Attorney Attorney General and Presidential
s Ees0r d aye New y YORK lie was also commsoner x
Charities In 15S2"63
Mrs. /. H. stone, Phi. d., who led an earnest fight In
Michigan TO secure the admission Of women TO the
University Of that state has nov begun ,. new cam
Mrs. Kendall at reception given her In Chicago
adopted this device TO make the incident memorable
A sachet containing violet powder secreted inside
her glove. in the palm OF the hand the kid being care
fully perforated so MS allow the powder TO exude
Srben she grasped visitors hand. This salutation
time before people discovered the motive Of a. And
then the apartment In which the reception was gwen
became filled with the PERFUME
A curious story about John A. Logan Is told By
Truth, New York;. A short time before his DEATH
saws this publication. the General returned from Mex
leo to Chicago and there a young lady OF twenty,
fayorite of his, who had picked up palmlstry was
asked by him to tell his fortune. She hnghingy took
his hand but her face soon grew serious, and she told
him that death was marked in 1t. and warned him 70
change his method OF living and working and get
rest Mrs Logan. who stood by, observed that this
revelation had disturbing effect on her husband and
with some reassurng remark and langh held out her
hand and told the young lady 10 read her hand The
girl took IT, looked at the lines an instant and gurst
ont CRYING You will be a widow within six months
sobbed the young palmist, dropping the hand.
The late Charles S. Wolfe, Of Pennsylvania, antag
onzcd Senator Cameron at the time OF his election
I'm 1879. and was an Independent selfnomnsted can
didate for Treasurer the following year. In 1882
he ran for state Treasurer the boilers ticket and
nv Ias6 he had cot into the Prohibition party. whose
Candidate for Governor he was Last fall he voted
for Pattison, the present Governor d thoroughbred
Democrat
Senator Hiscocx has returned to Syracuse from .
visit 10 the State OF Washington.