davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-12-02
"A
"A
* k e 4. e ! $E sS$Hsss .ssa.sss
z K Uu Z iii X 4 IA =
1t 800 PENNSYLVANIA AVE. NV.

We consider comment upon these vsiues
unnecessary. IL il one Of our peculiar and
original methods of doing business-fe ieaA-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Considered His Heirs.

The road was uneven and there were
numerous sharp curves, and as the
train was running at high rate of
speed it was anything but comfortable
for the passegers. Sometimes it actually
seemed as though all the wheels on one
side of the Pullman were off the rail at
once.
This didn't serve to put any Of the
passengers at ease, but F seemed to
have a particularly bad effect on a little
old fellow near the middle of the car.
says the Chicago Tribune. He grew
more and more nervous with every jerk
of the car and finally called the porter
to him.
"How soon will we reach place
where l can send a dispatch?" he
asked.
"'Bout ten minutes, sah," was the
"All right. Bring me telegraph
blank"
1t was brought, and he hastily scrib-
bled the following message to a New
York broker:
'Sell all my stock in X and road at
once and at any price you can get.
"You don't seem TO have much con-
6dence in the road" said the man in
the next seat, who had read the dis
patch over the little mans shoulder.
81 haven't" was the the terse reply
"You don't think it has much of a
future, apparently?
Future be hanged !" returned the
little man. 81 was thinking of the pres
ent and my family"
Your family! . exclaimed the stran-
ger. "What has your family got to do
with it?"
Everything, my friend, everything"
explained the little man, ''and if you
were anything of fnancier you d see
it. I've got to ride two hundred miles
on this road yet, and how would it look
for my family to sue the road for dam
ages that, if secured, would practically
come out Of my estate? No sir; I'll
allow this dispatch twenty. minutes to
reach New York, and I'll allow the
broker twenty-five minutes to dispose
of the stock. If this blamed car keeps
the rails for forty-five minutes more
someone else will be struck for dam
ages if / climb the golden stairs. And
if she holds the rails for the whole two
hundred miles can buy the stock back
if l want it and 60 back by another
road
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
BOOKKEEPING STORY.

A Case Wherein Fly speck Made a Big
Difference.
In one Of our large establishments
connected with the iron industry there
occurred recently an apparent discrep-
ancy IN the accounts involving matter
of3,000 pounds OF scrap iron. The clerks
in the department were set to work TO
unravel the tangled skein, and after
they had expended two whole days in
the search they were compelled to give
up the task and pronounce it beyond
their comprehension. Thus matters
stood for several days.
Several days later the office boy de-
cided to keep himself in practice in ad-
dition by footing up a column of figures
on a sheet which was lying on desk
beside him in the scrap iron depart
ment. Bending his energies to the task
he got along swimmingiy with the units,
tens, and hundreds columns, but when
he came to the fourth column he could
not make it agree with the footings set
down. Again and again be tried il and
with the same result-3,000 less. Going
over the figures one by one his atten-
ton was drawn to queer-looking one.
A fly speck was beside it in such posi-
ton as to make it appear like four
and as such it had been counted by each
of the clerks in the department. The
bow had earned his promotion, and be
got -PhilddeLphiG Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
President Lincoln Obeyed Orders.

Mr. Chittenden tells an anecdote in
his "Recollections of President Lin
coln," which relates how anxious the
President was to obey orders. Mr..
Chittenden had gone out to Fort
Stevens. anticipating an attack on Wash
ington from the Confederate forces under
General Early. AS he entered the fort
he was surprised to find there President
Lincoln and Secretary Stanton.
A young colonel of artillery, the Off
Ger of the day, was in great distress, be-
cause the President would expose him
self. He had warned Mr.. Lincoln that
the Confederate sharpshooters had rec
ognized him and were firing at him, and
soldier near him had just fallen with q
broken thigh. The officer asked Mr..
Chittenden's advice, saying that the
President was In great danger.
"What would you do with me under
similar circumstances? asked Mr.. Chit
tenden.
Il would civilly ask you to take po-
sitlon where you were not exposed"
"And if refused to obey ?'
II would send a sergeant and file OF
men and make you obey"
''Then treat the president just as you
would me or any civilian"
81 dare not. Heis my superior officer
[ have taken an oath to obey his or
ders."
He has given you no orders Fol-
low my advice and you will not regret
It."
81 will" said the officer II may as
we'll die for one thing as another. If he
were shot | should hold myself respon-
sible"
He walked to where the president
stood. "Mr. President" he said "vou
are standing within range Of 500 rifles.
Please come down to a safer place. If
you do not, it will be my duty to call a
file of men and make you"
"And you would do right, my boy"
said the Presi dent, coming down at once,
''You are in command Of this fort [
should be the last man 10 set an exam
pie of disobedience."
The President was escorted to place
where the view was less extended, but
where there was almost no exposure
Youths Companion.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
The Boomerang a Myth.

An old Australian saws: cit is amusing
to people who know Australia and the
aborigines to read in magazines and
| newspapers scientific assertions on the
construction and peculiarities of the
| boomerang, based, [ suppose, on the
tales of travellers. None of the theoriz-
ers seem to have found the most obvi-
Gus explanation-that the travellers are
simply romancing. The fact is that the
| boomerang is the black fellows tOma-
hawk. Sharpened on the outer edge
and made of iron-bark wood, it is in
| deed a dangerous weapon as a club or a
| Ratchet. l have lived for twenty years
| in Australia, and have hunted for days
in the bush with parties guided by alb
original blacks. Noteven the all-potent
inducement of brandy or rum will per-
suade black fellow to give an exhibit
ton of his skill with the boomerang, for
! the plain and sufficient reason that there
| is no skill about it. The popular belief
that the boomerang is an experts
hand may be made to strike an object
with unfailing precision, travelling IN
curve and returning by clrcultous
| flight to the thrower's feet, is pure nom
sense. When a traveller says he has
seen boomerang thrown SO as to circle
about tree and strike an object behind
it he lies; that is all there is to it. At
close range the boomerang can be
thrown with effect, but no more ac-
curately than stone. l have seen a
black fellow administer the coup de grace
to wounded kangaroo with his boom
erang, using it as a club. In certain
Australian tribes the form of the boom
erang is such that it could not possibly
be made to describe complete curve,
being a curve on the inner side and a
sharp-edged perfect right angle on the
outer. When the black fellow is at war
or on the chase his killing weapons are
his spears-a long, heavy shalt with
ing javelin for hunting purposes" st.
TOuis GZObe- Den7Ocr0t
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
He Needs Pushing.

The Philadelphia Inquirer discovered
an odd phase of human affection in a
Walnut Street car the other afternoon.
When Dock Street was reached the con-
ductor, who evidently knew his business
and his passenger, approached an aged
man seated at the front of the car and
grasping him by both hands drew him
to his feet and gave MIN a nowise gentle
push toward the door. Without any at
tempt to diminish the momentum devel-
oped by the push the passenger reeled
out of the car and stepped on a Spruce
Street car which bad halted near by.
A curious rider questioned the conduc-
tor in regard to the departed passenger
Gle is regular patron of the road, ;"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
"A Trihe Warm.

r. III. Williams, assistant observer at
the Death Valley weather station, ar
rived here last night from Furnace
Creek for medical treatment, says a
Keller special in the San Francisco
Chronicle, having been Frustrated by
intense heaat. In letters received from
Mr.. Clery he tells of some of the hor-
rors of summer in that region. Here
are his figures: In June the hottest
was 122, the coolest 60, and the mean
temperature for the month 81 degrees.
In July the hottest was 122, the lowest
y and the monthly mean l01 degrees.
In June there was .05 of an inch of rain
and in July, with Thunderstorm
every day during the last week of the
month, there was but 81. On July 22d
the temperature was above the hun
dred mark but for a few moments in
the morning, when it went down to 90.
Mr.. Williams says the greatest draw
back is cooking. Biscuit baked in the
morning are as hard as a stone in two
hours. and it is impossible to keep them
soft unless damp cloths are spread over
them all the time. It is impossible to
cook except in the early morning Po-
tatoes dry UP in two days and are use
less. Eggs, Mr.. Williams says, dry up
in the shell in two days and become
worthless unless eaten the same day
they are layed. The two men drink
daily from two to three and half
gallons of water each, which they
keep in stone jars to cool by
evaporation. Clothing is an ag-
gravation and they wear little else
than sort OF gown or nlghtshirt.
There are few fig trees there, but the
fruit invariably dries up on the trees
before ripening. Mr.. Williams says one
is compelled to drink so much water
and perspire so freely that he becomes
very weak, and, if not very cautious,
prostration results He will return
again in few days after recruiting his
Stronpt n
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
A MEMORY.

There is a voice comes TO me yet
Across the vanished years.
And manhood's dimmtng eyes are wet
With boyish. happy tears.
Again hear the robins song,
The blackbird's CHEEKY note,
The level meadoWland along.
Bursts from his quiverering throat:
The sunshine and the shadows chase
Athwart the rounded HILL
Then down the slope, where, in its place,
Still drones the gray old mill.
Once more up through the clustering leaves,
Astir with love and wings,
That shade my rustic windows caves
There comes voice that sings
happy song of love and youth,
A song of long ago.
My rosy sweetheart, tbs. in sooth,
Who sings for me, know,
Not hers the voice comes to me vet
Through all the vanished years.
But the accents the hired man
A-swearing at the steers.
= Washington Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
A Watered Silk.
They were shopping.

"What shall get for new Dire SIS
Cfara?"
Il am sure I don't know; I've almost
thought myself into the grave getting up
my own wardrobe. Ask the clerk to
show you some stylish goods"
The clerk proceeded to unroll pack
ages of silk. At last one took her eye
and she asked to see it nearer the
light.
"Will that dor" inquired the clerk, as
they drew toward the window.
'SOh. no." said she;" that is wine col
or, and my husband is strong Pro-
hibitionist."
"Well, madame" continued the clerk
1--WE have some green watered silk,
would you like to see that?
eyes," said she.
The silk was unfolded. She liked it,
purchased it, and walked away happy.
She never saw the point. 1t was just
as well, perhaps. York Recorder.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

those Chinese are Ha, ha, ha Tho,
no. no Funniest thing I've heard IN
long time"
Ibid you have the grippe in this coun-
trv?''
ayes, indeed. Everybody had It,"
What did you do"
Everything that the profoundest re-
searches and latest discoveries OF
modern science could suggest"
did that stop it p
"N-o."
Neither did the drums and trum-
pets. "-NeaO York Weekly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Hale and Hearty.

These two adjectives by no means imply the
possession of great muscular strength. There
are many men and women of slight build and
inferior stature to whom the terms "hale and
hearty" perfectly apply. Their compilations
are clear, eyes bright and vivacious pulses
tranquil step elastic, movements steady, SLEEP
undisturbed, appetites sound. These dndtcio
of haleness and heartiness Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters will assuredly bestow upon the feeble
the nervous and the dyspeptic No tonic of the
century compares with it in popularity, nc
other rivals in It's efficacy. AS permanent in
vigoration means also the previous regulations
of disorder in the system, Hostetter's Stomach
B1tters must also be regarded chief among
regulators. 1t conquers and prevents malaria
and rheumatism, overcomes inactivity of the
liver, bowels and kidneys, and promotes the &C
QUESTION of flesh as well as YigOr
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

all the painful disorders and
chronic weaknesses peculiar to the
female sex. They 60, with the use
of DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton. Periodical pains, weak back,
bearing down sensations, nervous
prostration, all "female complaints "
are cured by it. It is purely vege-
table and perfectly harmless a
powerful general, as well as uterine,
tonic and nervine, imparting vigor
and strength to the whole system.
It costs you nothing il: it fails to
give satisfaction. It's guaranteed
to do SO, in every case, or the money
is refunded. It can be guaranteed
for it does it. No other medicine
for women is sold on such terms.
That's the way its makers prove
their faith in it. Contains no alco-
hol to inebriate no syrup or sugar
to derange digestion (; legitimate
medicine, not beverdge. Purely
vegetable and perfectly harmless in
any condition Of the system.
Worlds Dispensary Medical AS
Proprietors, No. 663 Main
Street, Buffalo, n. 7.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

said the fare-collector, "and is quite a
character. When be halts in walking,
or when he desires to rise from his seat,
he is unable to start locomotion without
the assistance of second person. If
he had halted before stepping on the
other car [ would have been compelled
to start him again. The more the car
iolts the better he likes it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Methods and Results.

Traveler-"When the grip spread
through China, the Chinese doctors
marched through the streets with drums
and trumpets, trying to stop it,
American Physician-"H a, ha, ha !
What hopelessly ignorant barbarians
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

Do you know that we are the largest ex-
elusive housefurnishing establishment in
Milwaukee? Eight stores filled with the
latest and newest patterns and styles.
New goods every day. Come and see us.
McCallum House Furnishing Co., GA. 216,
218 and 220 West Water Street.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

CHARLIE has had such bad luck with
Watches" said young Mrs. locker.
"He lost two because they got satu-
rated" Charlie said they got soaked"
remarked his mother. 81 know, but
saturated is prettier word, and means
the same thing. These rains are SO
penetrating; | suppose they got into the
works and rusted them. p Washington
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

"WHAT are you crying about, my little
man?', Jimmy o. Brien licked me first,
and then father licked me for letting
Jimmy lick me, and then Jimmy licked
me again for telling father, an now L
suppose | shall catch it again from
ia thar III ifp
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

GALL is not at hand that helps" In
other words we cannot foresee whence
help may come to us; but every sensible
hOusekeeper should know that every gro
Ger sells SAPOJIO,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

Do not send your daughter away for
change of air till you understand her all
ment. Send &c stamp for "Guide to
HEALTH to Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

THAT'S ABOUT IT.-"Papa, what is an
agnostic % asked Johnny Cumso. can
agnostic, Johnny, is a man Who knows
very little and is not sure of that. y
D9JcL
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
The Only One Ever Printed-Can You Find
the Word?

Each week a different three-inch display
is published in this paper. There are no
two words alike in either ad., except One
word This word will be found in the ad.
for Dr. Harters Iron Tonic, Little Liver
Pills and Wild Cherry Bitters Look for
uCrescentn trade mark. Read the ad.
carefully, and when you find the word send
it to them and they will return you book,
beautiful lithogra phs and sample free.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

"PAPA," said Willie, as the bass drum
went by, that man amt as strong as he
looks, is he ?'' 81 don't know. Why ?''
'He doesn't seem to be able to break
the box open. '-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
August
Flower
For Dyspepsia.

A. Be1langer, Propr., Stove Four
dry, Mortagny, Quebec, writes " 4
have used August Flower for Dys~
pepsia. It gave me great relief. {
recommend it to all Dyspeptics as q
very good remedy"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

ONE of the hardest things in all public
affairs is to keep the brass band from
installing itself for the entire process
sion.- Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

"WHAT did you mean by writing q
love letter to my wife, sir ?" "Why
shouldn't I? She's never broken off
her engagement with me yet. "-LJe.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

No Opiltyl in Piso;S Cure for COnSump-
ton. Cures where other remedies fail. 25c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

WATTS "You live in boarding
house, don't you, Billings?'' Billings
"No. | board in boarding house. p
Indidndp0Hs Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

w. Fl. GRIFFIN. Jackson, Michigan,
writes: Suffered with catarfh for fifteen
years; Halls Catarrh Cure cured me.'
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

An Immigrant ship was coming up
the harbor just as the sunset gun was
fired. "Look at that now" exclaimed
a happy Hibernian. "Moi cousin Moike
told m e that they'd make an alderman
of me, but Oh didn't think that they'd
be so proud to see me they'd foire
ealr7te 81 nrDeT's Bdz0r
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

This century has produced no woman
who has done SO much to educate her sex
to thorough and proper knowledge OF
themselves as Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Established 1863.

Dresses, Gents Clothing, Feathers, Gloves,
ETC., Dyed or Cleaned, Plush Garments
Steamed at Otto Pietch's Dye Works. 246 w.
Water ST.. Milwaukee. Send for Circular
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

THE OTHER GIRL.-"Why, hello. Jen =
The Telephone Girl ION her vacation ]
Number, please ?"-India1aapotis JON
nal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

t'THE oratory of some men may not
move mountains, yet 1t often succeeds
in making big bluff. > Westfeld Stand
ard
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Nervous

Dyspepsia in severe form, tired and languid, no
ambition. sleep irregular, no appetite-this was
my condition when began to take Hoods Sar-
1sapaTilla. From the very first it seemed to be
Just what needed. The nervous dyspepsia has
now entirely gone, my appetite Is excellent,
can eat heartily without distress afterwards;
sleep WELL and can now go about my work with
out having that tired feeling frequent before
/ began taking the medicine 1 have taken six
ho+tl of
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

IF afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR.
Isaac Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists
sell it. 25 cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

The ocean eats into a rod Of Atlantic
coast yearly. Neptune should spare
the Philadelphia Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

THE enterprising bee keeps up
with the times by having his apartments
arranged in sweets YOokers Gazette.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
GRATIFYING to All.

The high position attained and the uni
versal acceptance and approval OF the
pleasant liquid fruit remedy Syrup OF
FIGS, as the most excellent laxative known.
illustrate the value of the qualities on
which its success is based and are album
dainty gratifying to the California Fig
Syrup Company.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

Ed. Bergeron, General Dealer,
Lauzon, Lewis, Quebec, writes; Z
have used August Flower with the
best possible results for Dyspepsia. %
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

G. A. Darlington, Engineer and
General Smith, Sydney, Australia
writes: August Flower has effected
a complete cure in my case. 1t act~
ed like a miracle"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

FETS.-An Fits stopped free by DIR. Kline
Great Nerve RestOrer. Motifs after first day use
Marvellous Treatise and $500 trial bottle free
Fit cases. Send to Dr. Kline 991 Arch ST., Phila Pa.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

RIGHT abreast of the times-nothing new
escapes our notice-always find the latest
things IN Furniture III our stock. Always
lowest prices for reliable goods. Clement,
Williams d Co., Broadway, Milwaukee,
Wis.
INTELLECTUAL Conversation at the Sea-
side.-She-"How time does fly in the
sUmmerw He-"Ya-as, it's fly time ~
JUDGE
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

Geo. Gates, Corinth, Miss. ,writesS
Il consider your August Flower the.
best remedy in the world for Dys--
pepsia. l was almost dead with
that disease, but used several bottles.
of August Flower, and now con-
slider myself a we'll man. l sincerely
recommend this medicine to suffer
ing humanity the world over" @
G. G. GREEN, Sole Manufacturer,
Woodbury., New Jersey, u. S. A..
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19

OH! what is SO rare as d June dayin June
Or day off when your cash As srent,
Or an answering ad TO a pitiful wall
And discount of thirty per cent.
.'.anK Inl,E Comm irl
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-08-19
Hoods SarsapariIIa

J. J. SCULLY, President Seaman'S Union, 25e
Catharine street, Detroit, Mich.
y. 3. Be sure toget Hoods Sarsaparilla.