Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-29
THE OLD SETTLER.
TIE UNIQUE PARSONAGE THAT is INDIGEN-
GUS TO EVERY COMMUNITY.
Ed. Mott N Ns,o York Sun.

ever neeru on OF KNOW q. Sdlu Jue OLu
Settler one day.
"Wull, major" replied the squire, 81
never see Nosey Frazelpecks uncle Jake
SlyboX, but from all counts he must ha'
ben marchin' long in the front ranks o. the
humliest o. the humly in his day an gener-
alton Now, thar were 'Riar Simms' oil
mule Laddybuck That mule were so old
that folks around the Corners usety say
that he kim thar with the hills N crowd
up with 'em. Anyhow, Laddybuck hadn't
ben knOw'd to sca'cely ook higher in his
knees in 20 year. N nobody couldn't reco-
member wien he'd been often walk, n
durn slow walk at that. EZ fer bein' skeert,
the mule had ben dashed at by bars m
yelled at by painters more times thin he had
hairs. most, n no bar ner no painter had
ever yit ben know'd TO make Laddybuck ez
much ez prick up one ear. He had even ben
druv suddenly onter the Wild Gander Ridge
brass band ez it struck up to play tune
one gener'l trainin' day, over at the Corn
ers, m all Laddy0uck done was to kinder
squat'n' ana SILVER a leetle Then he went
on by the band 'thout turnin' his head TO
look at em.
"Nosey Frazelpeck were keepin' tavern at
the Corners long in them heydays o. old
Lady bucks life, N his uncle, Jake SlyboX,
were maxim him visit. 'Riar Simms
| him standin' front o. the tavern, same eZ
he'd done fer 20 year n better. Uncle Jake
| Siybox had the reputation o. bein' the
humliest man that war in all that kentrv,
but l don't blieve him, nor his folks, nor
nobody else had any idee till that day jest
exactly how humbly he actly were. 'Riar
had a nice, lively visit with Nosy N Uncle
Jake, m long in the AFTERNOON he got up to
start fer hum. Uncle Jake went out o the
tavern with him, m hadn't even wunst
gone to the bother o. shakin' the flies often
his ears all day long. Ez Uncle Jake
stepped out the oil mule kinde
opened his eyes more'n usual, N they
popped wide open, N Laddybuck raised
his head. Ez he looked at Uncle Jake his
eyes begun TO bulge. He stood for a second
ez If he couldn't believe his eyes, m th't he
mus be dreamin'. Then he stuck his ears
straight up in the air, N r'ared up, m
paved n snorted like a mad three-year-
OIL Then he got down on the ground
ag'in, give another look at Uncle Jake, N
then turned round like a skeert buck, m
went snortin' away toward the Corners so
fast that he went out o. sight in less time
thin il takes to tell it, his tail bein' blazed
by pieces o. Riar's gig tht he strung along
ez he went. Everybody had been so took
back by Laddybucks unheard on p'form-
hand to stop him.
THAT'S a mighty skittish mule v got
thar, 'Riar, said Uncle Jake, inherent ez
could be.
"'Y-a-a-a . said 'Rias.
"They never toll Uuncle Jake wat skeert
the mule cause he were gittin' old, N
they didn't want to hurt his feelin's. But
Nosey Frazelpeck paid 'Rias for the gig.
They newt ha, ben humlier men thin Uncle
Jake Slybox, major, but if tina was hist'ry
hain't got 'em down"
After hearty laugh over Uncle Jake
and Laddybuck, and an exchange of compli-
ments with the Squire at the bar, the old
Settler said
Member the Tidfts Squire ez usety
live over beyond Gallus Ridgein
Fright by the McGonigal Rud crossin'!'
asked the Squire.
"Nor' said the Old Settler. "Them was
the sheep snifies Tidfits. Don't Y mem
Der, we uSety call 'em the sheep sniffies
Tidfts, cause tina want one of 'em from
their WALLER houn' I'm through the family o.
nine young uns n their pap n nanny to
the oil brindle steer but wat alluz seemed
to hev cold in the head. Course Y DO I.
'Tain't them l mean, but the Tidtits th't
lived furder up on the Ridge on the edge o
the big windfall, whar ST Golfer killed the
OtE SIN -plOu- yum WIN a ANANN AoAAs 4
member them Tidfits, don't Y, Squirem
"Sh'd say sou assented the squire. IN
nice folks they Was, too. But about 81 Col
ter KILN that slX-prong buck with fence
rail-he never done itr'
What - exclaimed the old settler. Isl
Golfer never killed that buck. Wull,
| Squire, that's bout ez clean-cut a way %
calm man liar ez | ever had run agin
me-
"who said you was liarl" demanded
the Squire.
you said ST Golfer never killed that
buck with fence rail, didn't yea cried
the Old Settler.
"Yes. l did ~ exclaimed the Squire.
"Wull, l said he did kill it with fence
rail - declared the Old Settler IF that
hain't calm me liar wat in Sam Hill is
it, thenr
Did you see 81 Golfer kill that DEER"
asked the Squire.
NO" replied the Old Settler.
How do ye' know he done it, them
HE toll me so, bgoshr'
"Oh. he tot Y sou
Eyes He toll me so -
Isl Carter couldR' lie, could he.r
HE KID lie if he wanted to, spose The
hain't no law te p'vent himm
''Wull, then, how'm l calm you a liar.n
''Y' siIiwated, any way"
"Sinniwate Pub Yer tetchir thin a
snap dragon Y start in by askin' me who
ware the humliest man I ever know'd or