The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-03-28


shamrocks.
A boy can often make al earring
with whistle.
The moro the girls pine for some
young men the moro spruce they be-
come.
She-''Who gave the bride away
He-"Nobody; she brought good ng-
ure."
The real estate agent never comedies
that there Is such thing as ''sins or
commission"
Morning wraps were the invention
OF the man who wakes up hotel guests
for the early train.
The average wife hates to ask her
husband for money. and in most cases
he hates TO have her.
1t Is no. wise TO say everything you
know. but how can some people help
IL II they say anything at ALP
You never quite comprehend how
mean other people are until you begin
To compare them with yourself
The man who said ''Alrs fair In love
or war" Is undoubtedly the man who
got the best OF IL In both cases
The Il gown is now cut with V
neck. and other alphabetical changes
will DO made from time to time.
or old, the tailor made the man,
But now his aid we summon
To work on more extensive plan
He also makes the woman!
What Is more pathetic than 10 SEQ
the simple faith with which a bald
headed man will buy AN infallible hair
restorative from a bald-headed bar
Der?
A married mans a hub, they say.
AS IL IL were Joke,
And probably 1t is that way,
wifes so like spokei
The young man who knows enough
TO leave early. bring candy for her
brother. and make love to her parents
will not find the course OF truo love so
very rough.
Teacher-''Suppose. Tommy. you
were President OF the United States.
what would you do?" TOMMY
would not lot nybody wash my face
or comb my hair any more"
A maid may love her own sex WELL
But ever since the world began,
Beyond hundred thousand girls
She'd rather have single man.
Yes. we've quarreled. think this
parting from Amelia will kill me" II
should think you would feel it,"
Feel IL? Why. great Scott. It's tor.
ture. She has two hundred thousand
In her own right"
Officer" Have you any means or
support" Newly Arrived Immigrant
IL don't quite understand YOU"
Officer" Have you any profession by
which you can make lIving" n.
A. mo. sir. I'm an artist"
Miss Decolette learn from the
papers. Mrs Prlm. that dress goods
are going up" Mrs PrIm- The
good Lord be praised. allus did APP
prove OF the oil fashioned style OF
havin' 'em come right clean up TO
the neck.
Prom the amount OF airs that man
puts on you'd think he owned the
township" remarked "A newcomer To "a
rather unproductivc section OF the
country. Goodness me. no. he doesnt
own foot OF land anywhere near
here. That's what makes him so stuck
up"
She-"I understand there Is "a tailor
In London who just looks at you hard
for few moments and when your
clothes come home thcy it you per-
fectly." He-"rhat is somewhat
different from my tailor He looks az
me hard for a few moments. but fails
10 send the clothes
Watts AREN'T you ever going to
get tired OF 'shoppingr You never
seem to bring anything home. Where's
the fascination In IL. I'd like 10 know"
Mrs. Watts 'Oh. like TO look ut tho
new goods. you know. and to SEQ
what lovely things could get II / had
only married rich"
Ia the first year OF wedlock tho husband Il
fond
OF his wife, whom he praises and pets;
But he sometimes grows careless, and II
she's blonde
lie Is constantly praising brunettesl
An amusing incident occurred re-.
Gently at Essegg. In Austria. In q
play called "Dick Hochzeit Won
Valein." the heroine has To die. her
death being brought about by avillain
who shoots her with pistol. At tho
critical moment the weapon misses
fire. but the actor was equal TO the
emergeny and exclaimed nj once.