The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1891-08-28
SCINTILLArONS OF WI.

DIN llLLAIlONS OF VII.
Love may be blind, but he knows
when the parlor lamp is too high.
The man who has no charity in his
heart gives no quarter to the hotel
waiter.
Know myself. II you can't get the
requisite information, run for Office.
The scientists say an actual vacu-
um cannot exist, and yet the dude
lives.
Nature has wisely arranged mat
tiers so that a man can neither pat
his back nor kick himself.
What the soles said to the boo t.
heel-"RCn down and see U.S."
The man who depends upon wages
will get rich sooner than the man
who depends upon wagers,
"What is ability?' ability, nay
dear. is knowing how little you really
DO know, and keeping others from
finding it out"
When you see man who kisses his
children in public, you may be pretty
sure that he keeps the seats of their
pantaloons well busted at home.
Napoleon said-"S cratch Roman
and you find Tartar" Scratch off
the front part of the names of most
Russians and you find the itch"
If there is one thing more certain
than another it is that teeth were
not made for men, but in order to
give the dentist chance to make a
living.
She: "Did you let father know you
owned great deal of real estate"-
He: II limited at it. She: "What did
he say?"-He: HE said deeds speak
louder than words.'
Mrs. Winks-"So you have taken
another companion for better or
worse, eh?" Mrs. secondtrip-"Only
for better, my dear. He can't posi-
bly, beworse than the other one was.'
Miss Pyrte: "What makes you
such confirmed woman-hater, Mr..
Olebach?"- Olebach: "Well, when
was young man woman made
a fool of me'"-Miss Pyrte: "And
you never got over it,"
Mrs. Smitem-".Bobby, you bad
boy, have you been fighting with
Tommy Slimson again? Dear, dear!
| shall have to get you a new suit"
Bobhy-'That's nothing, ma. You
ought to see Tommy Slimson. His
ma may have to get her a new boy"
Physician Ito Mrs. Col. Blood, Of
Kentucky)-"How did your husband
pass the night, Mrs. Blood?" Mrs.
Blood-"He seemed quite comforta-
BILE, sir, and asked for water several
times" Physician with a grave
ook)-"H'm-still Tightly"
Housewife-We haven't any cold
victuals nor Tramp-Cold victuals?
Who asked you for cold victuals? I
want broiled steak, an fried eggs,
an hot flannel cakes, an coffee. Cold
victuals! The idea!
School Mistress-"Tommy, what
did you disobey me for?" Tommy
"'Cos I thought you'd whip me-"
School Mistress-"What did you
want me to whip you for?" Tommy
-"'Cos pa said he would if you
didn't, and he hurts
Young DR.. Pille-"I attended Mrs.
Languish to-day, father, but can't
see for the life of me that anything is
the matter with her." Old DR.. Pile
(gasping)-"But for heavens sake,
my boy, I hope you didn't say any
thing of the kind to her!" Young DR..
Pille-"No father" Old DR.. Pile
"Good! You know a healthy patient
lasts a long time"
II don't believe I am very popular
with your father" said Herbert, sad
ly. "No," she answered frankly,
''you are not" "Do you know of
anything could do to make him like
me better?" l don't think of any
thing" she answered, after some
thought, "unless you could go away
somewhere and die"
81 have Observed" remarked a
mean old bachelor, trying to be fun
ny, that when one has fortune and
adds Miss to it, he has misfortune
thereafter" "Then you ought to
marry a widow" quickly responded
a lady in black, and the funny man
went into his sheH.-Washington
Star.
Teacher Ito class in grammar)-In
the sentence "The poor misguided
wretch was taken to prison." what
part of speech is poor? Johnny
Blivens' hand is raised. Johnny may
answer. Johnny Blivens-"Poor" is
an unnecessary word, nom. There