The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-05-12

ALittIe FatherIy Advice.


"If ever you marry" said an old gentleman to
his son, set It be a woman who has judgment
enough to superlntend the getting meal, taste
enough to dress herself, pride enough to wash her
face, and sense enough to use DIR. Pierce's Favor
lite Prescription whenever she needs it," The ex-
perience of the aged has shown the "Favorite
Prescription" to be the best for the cure Of all
female weakness and arrangements. Good sense
is shown by getting the remedy from your drug
gist, and using 1t whenever you feel weak and de-
bIIltated. 1t will invgorate and cannot possibly
do harm.
A Screw Loose Some where.
Husband-Why don't you wear your new
Wife-It is unbecomiDg, or else it is out of style
or possibly 1t Is a horrible mlsft. Pm not sure
which, but must look like fright or a smpleton
10 Il.
Husband Why so?
Wife-All my friends praise it.-New York
Weekly.
For any case of nervous ness, Sleep
lessness, weak stomach. indigestion, dyspep-
sa, try Carter's Little Liver Pills. Relief is sure,
The only nerve medicine for the price in market
Uncle Jack-You know, Ethel, the African
Savages were so ignorant That they couldn't I'M
derstand what made SANKEY'S iron boat float
Ethel-What was it, Uncle Jack?
and e ne you
all that sort Of thing.-Harvard Lampoon.I
Buckingam's Dye for the whiskers is positive
remedy for grey beard.
ONO Use.
Mature rarely wastes, but sometimes she does"
said Mehitable at the scircus. "Look at the ele-
plant for instance. Two tails practically and yet
with hide absolutely imperyious to fiies.-New
York Sun.
feel it my duty to say few words in regard
to Ely'sCream Balm, and do so entirely without
yFnfkn N.o,rn
year, and have found 1t to be most admirable. 1
have suffered from catarrh of the worst kind ever
since was a little boy and Inever hoped for cure
but Cream Balm seems to do e zen that. Many Of
my acquaintance have used 1t with excellent re-
suIts.-Oscar 0strum, 40 Warren Ave-, Chicago.
His Advantage.
Maud-No girl could have refused him if he had
proposed to her as sweetly as he proposed to
Maud-But you must remember, dear, that he
has had great deal of xperience.-Munsey's
Weekly.
II your blood is vtiated. cleanse it without de-
lay by the use OF Ayers Sarsaparllla.
The Manchester (Eng) Times tells of some old
epitaphs upon printers Here is one:
No more shall copy bad perplex my brain;
No more shall types small face my eyeballs
No more the proofs foul page create me troubles
Nv errors, transpositions, outs and doubtless
No more TO overrun shall begin;
No more be driving out or driving in;
The stubborn pressman's brow now may scof,
Revised, corrected, finally worked off.
Another epItaph reads as follows;
In fact, my last impression Is Pm dead,
Weary of distributing pi,
Pressed out of lfe now must Ole,
I've cut my stick, my f0unt Is Sped.
My case is empty as in life my head
Backache Is almost Immediately ie-
lIeyed by wearing one Of Carriers Smart Weed
and Beladonna Backache Plasters. Try one ana
be free from pain. Price 20 cents.
An Adventure In Real Life.
young lady.
the coast OF Maine,T navy 0AA''i'
nsnte% S Ssenghmuli And did he live on a sloop
Psd NS; he kept summer hotel."-New York