The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-07-05
In RAILWAY CIRCLES
The New Assistant on the WyOM-
ing Division.
FENCING THE UNION PACIFIC
Of Wool-The Union Pacific
Coal Department.

new assistant superintendent Of the
Wyoming division of the Union Pacific is
Garrett O'Neill, with headquarters at
Evanston. He is naturally funnier thar
any stage Irishman ever devised, and it
must be conceded that the piaywrights
have been very effective lately in building
these characters.
O'Neill is forty and has a goatee like
goat and orogue pronounced as his views
on home rule.
From Cheyenne to Ogden. and likely all
over the system, they tell stories on
O'Neil. He was first section hand, then
boss, next a roadmaster, then train
master and now an assistant superintend-
ent. In every position he has been faith
full. efficient and humorous.
One day during his novitiate as hobo,
O'Neill was out at the noon hour studying
the mechanism of q handcar. So deeply
interested was he in the ingenious con-
trivance that freight train slipped up
on him. He jumped almost clear Of the
right Of way with fright. A flying section
of the handcar struck him and down he
went The trainmen came back to pick up
the CORPSE, but found O'Neill q deal more
than half alive and quite mad. The en-.
gineer had lost his temper on the head OF
score a fatality. Said he:
'sWhat in blankety blank are you doing
out here at noonl Why in blankety blank
ETY. blank blank amt you up at the section
houee with the rest of the blank blank Jer-
riest"
O'Neill looked et him wickedly and re-
piled:
''Well, If you FELIX'S had kilt me, loike ye
thried, I'd showed the Union Pacific COM
pany phat l waz doin' here; bsgorra-"
With advancement to the respons-
sible post of section boss, O'Neil took
on dignity and wisdom and gained pop
ularity. His greatest delight was to
address personal communications to
the superintendent, but he was best at
correspondence with the store-keepers,
and many of his acquisitions are preserved
yet as literary curiosities. If he could get
on dispute with this department, carry it
up and win, he was happy for months. In
one of his letters he called for job lot OF
supplies and wound up with: yours
truly and keg of spikes, Garrett O'Neill. !"
A roadmaster bold was the hero when
steam shoveis Were introduced for heavy
excavating. His heart was dulled over the
cruel discharge of a lot of navvies. Next
morning he went down to the pit and
watched the land dredger doing the work
of twenty-five men. He eyed the wondrous
monster critically for time, then ad-
dressed it vindictively:
'You can chubei lots of dirt me
buckley; you won't complain or get drunk
and fight me hearty, but by the powers
above, We can't vote on election day"
AS trainmaster. Garrett was forced to
rule rigidly. His first report Of discharge
was in the case of brakeman who had
jeopardized passenger train by neglecting
to close switch. The sir Of omission was
carefully detailed; then come, land he is
now hunting for a job, which he won't hold
long unless he remembers not to forget"
1t was only a short time ago that O'Nein
suspended a young conductor thirty days
for grave infraction Of the rules Another
train proprietor-one of these worrysome
and irrepressible agitators-approached the
assistant superintendent on the case and
pompously delivered himself after this
manner:
'You have been unduly severe on this
boy, Mr.. O'Neill. His shortcoming was of
small consequence and you have inflicted the
disciplinary limit. / wish to ask you, sir,
if you have considered the excellent record
of the delinquent; if you have taken into
account his long and faithful servicel"
The agitator was somewhat taken down
by the answer, for O'Neill retorted earn
estly and without hesitation:
"Oi have done that same, sor, and / wish
to say, sor that if ii had been the likes of
you, sor, you would have been discharged
without notice, sor."
Asked to the bar by visiting official,
O'NeiIl said: Thanks, have had no drink
for three weeks, except, come TO think of
it, had ten yesterday"
And so goes the book of O'Neill, spark
ling with drollness and wit. He's a fine
Irish gentleman, bedad.