Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-09-10

Have Been Recently Born Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laushable.
A Severe Test
Neighbor do you like your
new neighbors?
Little Girl-Mamma says they is aw-
full nice people, real polite, an Chris
tian.
HAS she called?"
mo, but we've sent in to borrow
dozen different things, an they didn't
once say they was just out.
He Was the Wrong Man.
Patient What kept you away so
long, Doctor? I've waited for you for
five hours.
Country Doctor-Whv, the fact is
my wife was busy curing hams and
needed my assistance.
Patient-She ought to have called
other help if she wanted 'em cured, and
Eli tell her so.--PharmdceaAtica5 Era.
Looking Outward
The Western magistrate You are
sir, with killing six of our
oldest and most respected citizens.
What have you to say?
Prisoner were all of 'em rich
old penny -grabbers wot was leavia' the
best buildin' sites in town lie idle, wait
is fer higher price.
"Well?"
well, your Honor, I belong to the
village improvement society"
Distance by Telfum.
Cousin Phil-What made you tell
me Mrs. Jenkins lived twenty minutes
from Fenno's corner? You led me a
long walk for nothing. You'd have
been more correct to have said three.
Ethel-Is that so? am sorry. But,
you see, I walked the distance only
once, and then in company with young
DR.. Tomkins, who talked medicine all
the way.-Phdyndceatticdt Era.
His Weakness.
"Who made your" asked the Sun
day school teacher of youth from Pell
street.
Il don't know" was the reply.
swell, God made you," said the
teacher. -ee-~s--------s
"That so ?" replied the boy. II b'lieve
Eve heard that before, but I'm like me
old man-never was no good at remem-
BERN names. "-DrGke's Magazine.
Two Boys.
Little Daughter-Oh, mamma, didn't
you say Dick mustn't go with that
boy?
Mamma Indeed / did.
"Well, he's with him behind the
barn smoking cigarettes.
Horrors Is that dirty-faced boy
teaching Dick to smoke cigarettes? ?"
Nom. Dicks teachin' him."
Vastly Different.
Mrs. Hicks Mother-John, what
kind of treatment do You call it for you
to yell "Sicker, Tige," when your poor
in-law falls into the water and
is in danger of drowning?
Hicks (after reflection i didn't yell
"sicker, Tige;" I yelled "Succor,
Tige."
Extweemly Clevah.
First Chappie-Oh, my deah boy;
he! he! he! I have you now. Why
was BALKAN an astronomer? He! he!
Second Chappie Give it up, muh
deah boy.
First Chappie Why, because he
found-he! he! he!-an ass to roid,
don't vuh know; he! he! he Smith,
Gray Dc Co.'S Monthly.
The Reason Why.
"Your letters do not seem so bright
and interesting as they used be, }"
she wrote, reproachfully, to her young
man, and the young man unused softly
to himself:
"That's strange; they used to be
perfectly satisfactory to the other
girl. "-SomerUiUe Journal.
The Rage Explained.
Hardnut-Liston to this, pard.
Here fashion note says "there is
rage for souvenir spoons"
Lightfnger-That's official, by Jove!
and the rage sets in just after we've
been an tapped the silver pantry, ell,
old boy p opkers Gazette.
To Be wor1 Together.
Mrs. Bangle-I notice by the news
papers that hand-painted shirt fronts
are coming in for men.
Bangle Wouldn't they go well with
custard pie decorated picnic trousers?
- Chronicle Telegraph.
A Model Husband.
Puffiey-I pride myself that / am a