The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-15
MANS IDEA OF MARRIAGE
"BAB" ASKS some MEN WHAT
THEY tn, K OF 1T,

Club Mans Ideas-A Doctors lew
of Ma rimony-Why On= Bachel- T is
Content to Remain as He is-The e.
cret of Msrriage-why me Men
Don't arry-Do Widows Make the
Best Wive Which Are the Wis st
Mari ages p For the Girl Who
Freckles - How Different Women
{, ear Veils-A Woman's Idea of Pro-
lection.
(Copyriaht.l:
New York, March IA have had three
or four letters lately, asking me, in different
ways, what was my opinion of marriage. 1t
seemed right that they should be answered,
and so l started out on a journey Of dis
every, seeking for knowledge from wise
men. l do not think that women are capa~
BILE Of deciding this question, for each one Is
certain to judge from her OWE standpoint,
anc that alone, and so she cannot be said to
look at the question in an unprecedented way.
CLUB MAN ON MARRIAGE.
The first man met is a man of clubs.
looked at him aud I said, "Mr. Bachelor is
marriage a failuref' and he said, mistress
Bah. | will answer you Just as did man
the sarue question. l said, Look arou d
this room, crowded with men; three-quar-
tiers of them are married ones; now, either
the wife has gone her way and the husband
his, or the woman is at home lonely; and in
any event, there is something wrong. Ii
everything was right the married man
would be at his home satisfied there, and
happy with his wife," He gave his hat a
most beautiful lift. smiled sweetly at me,
and left NE impressed with his e eat knowl-
edge of the world.
DOCTORS VIEW OF MATRIMoNY.
The next man whose fate it was to meet
my question was doc or. Said he: "Mar-
riage a iailurea No, 1t isn't failure, when
the man gets the right sort of a man
and that woman is best described as a cons
bination of the ideal and the material. Tha
combination makes a perfect wife. But
how many men find her? Usually, as Balzac
said long ago, we go round the world look
ing for this woman. We want to find a
com ination of comrade and wife in one
volume; but we seldom succeed. We have
TO choose two, and the world frowns at
that.n
THE IDEAS OF A BACHELOR.
The next man l asked had thought it all
out. had seen it from DO b sides, and had
concluded that the holy state of matrimony
was one in which he did not wish to enter
AID these were his reasons: "a man aud a
woman get married, expect to be together
800 days in the year, and never take the
trouble to find out whether they are calcu-
lated to be happy together. The man
doesn't know whether the woman can con-
troll her temper when he loses his, and Uice
Uersd, and they grow desperate weary of
each other. A man has right to claim In
marriage all that friendship would give
him. aud great deal more. Nine times out
of ten be gets thoughtless affection and no
consideration" Then l answered here:
Eyes, but
A WOMAN HAS SOME CLAIMS.
''She has right to all that lover would
give, to the consideration of brother and
"a certain amount of paternal care. am
not inclined to excuse women, for think
tn 1t while men may commit all the sins of
the Decalogue, a woman can nag man into
fury that could not be surpassed by rag
ing lion. / think, too. if women were more
wives and less mothers marriage wouldn't
so often be a failure. Now, don't mistake
me about this, for l am devout believer il
babies: and don't think that married
woman has any right to shirk either the
| joys or pains Of motherhood. but too often
| the interest of the babies are thought
of first the husband is neglected, or, al
N st, counted as a necessary evil. Women
| are undoubtedly creatures of habit, and
once they drift into that dangerous sea of
thoughtlessnes SIS, they are very apt to let the
little bark marked husband drift away
and very often it cannot be lured back"
THE SECRET OF MARRIAGE.
Eyes,. SAID the man, "a long time ago q
clever somebody-a Frenchw woman -said
that when passion and habit lie in company
| too long, habit wake 8 up to find that its
| companion has fed. Personally think that
the average wo nan sees too much of her
| husband; next. that she doesn't have q suffi
Gent number of outside things to interest
! him. She can't understand this. for she
| knoSs that he found her interesting before
| was married, and she doesn't realize
| that being away from the people he is
among, reading books and seeing plays, he
doesn't see will give her no end OF bright
| topics, and will make her talk we'll and in
terestingly t. him. For my own part as a
II an, / helieve that l agree with Disraeli.
who said that the perfect friendship between
a man and a woman consisted in their going
in different sets, meeting at II o'clock over
bit of supper and discussing all they had
seen, as solution of the secret Of mar
riage."
WHY SOME MEN DON'T MARRY.
Zone reason why men don't marry, espe-
cially In large cities, i3 because a bachelor
with moderate income can enjoy the the
aters, the races the little suppers and dlu-
ners, his clubs, his purple and fine linen,
and the society of women. Married, that
income would have to be divided by two
and within six months marriage would be a
failure" That was another mans opinion.
For myself, just gasped. They all knew
so much. / thought little eoout love;
thought little about Verona and
Romeo and Juliet, and then il
dawned on me that if the ardent
Romeo had welded his beloved one.
perhaps their marriage might have been a
success, because house rents were not high
in the old Italian town; people didn't wear
the same expensive lingerie that they dc
nowadays, Romeo probably didn't require
the best brandy, and Juliet wouldn't have
wanted Worth to have made her frocks
We like to read, write and talk about the
9 nobling influence of poverty. 1t may be
ennobllng when you go around with g
basket begging, or when you sell lead
pencils on the street; but defy anybody tc
prove that genteel poverty is desirable.
DO WIDOWS MAKE THE BEST wIvEs9
But to return to matrimony-which 6
great many people do when they have once
tried it. The English arguists maintain
| that the happiest marriages have resulted
from men marrying widows. There's g
good bit Of reason in this. The woman
| who has had one husband has discovered
that the proper study of womankind is
man; and experience has taught her how tc
make life smoother, just as marrimony has
| faught her restraint She DOESN'T do as