The record-union., 1891-06-13
AMONG THE ST0CKT0NlANS.
Pilgrim Hohman's Researches in the
Slough City.
Some Of the Wonderful Sights and Peo-
pie He Saw There-ReIicS of
the Dead Past.


the sights, seeing the fashions and dodg-
ing the police.
Stockton has some very wonderful
sights, and very efficient police force.
Like the police of Red Bluff, they follow
me continually to see that no blood
thirsty thug who has no respect for
mental qualities shall dare to lay his
sand-bag or his-rock-in-an-old-so
across my thinker and create cerebral
disturbance just when 1 am in the throes
Of great effort. 1t is very disagreeable
to be disturbed when one is in the throes.
1t has happened once or twice to me, and
in each case the world-and especially the
part of it represented by the thug-was
disappointed.
Stockton is not good place for men
with great heads. The people Of this city
do not go into spasms of admiration over
stranger who has high and majestic
think-tank Broad and intellectual
alabaster browS, with stern eyes, and a
daredevil, cuss-word cast ofcountenance,
are rather below par in Stockton, because
Stockton IS very hotbed of intellectu-
ality, and great heads are as numerous as
the flowers that bloom in the spring.
Erudition just stews out of the people
Ii you should ask me now what is
THE MOST POPULAR FAD
In Stockton, I should reply: Stockton"
The people are in love with their own
city, and very good thing it is to love-
Like a true woman, who, the more she
is petted and loved and caressed, becomes
Infinitely more true and reliable, so has
Stockton more than repaid the people for
the pains they have taken to dress her iIp
Slnfh hoe hon lNNpf l. Il,
tucker.
Keeping the city dressed up all of the
time may be a little expensive, but it
saves q wonderful lot of trouble when
hlgh-toned company calls unexpectedly
and the city must exhibit herself. Again,
1t really saves time and money to the
people who love the city, and throws the
light of enterprise and thrift upon the
place. If | ever own q city-and | may
initiate Sam'l o. Posen some day
shall certainly keep it dressed up in the
best rags TO be found in the country. 1t
is the only way in which man can get
back his money after investing it in a
city.
At present the people of Stockton are
undergoing a general scrubbing. The
numerous gas wells here furnish an
abundance Of water already heated to So
Fahrenheit, and this hot water is con-
Quoted to huge tanks, in which one NAV
Stockton air, but shuttle off the mortal
coil if he feels like it. Nobody has been
missed as yet, but [ am waiting for the
sad news to arrive.
IF CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GOODNESS.
The people of Stockton will all 90 to
Heaven. Saint Peter will not dare to
challenge population that has under
gone boiling process in order to walk
through the pearly gates in presentable
tod IL
gas wells is decidedly mineral, and pos
seSses flavor like the odor of stale eggs
came out OF tank few days ago with
my hair delightfully."- red, aud my nose
looking like carrot that had been in the
market for two not summer days. This
was the effect of iron in the water,
There Will not be many Stocktonians
at Monterey and Santa Cruz this sum
mer. Hereafter those who feel that dis
infection is necessary will patroniZe
nome industry, and those who leave the
city Tor the outing season will trough it'
IN the mountains.
Although Stockton has been growing
rapidly of late, and has great future,
ETC., there are still a few of the
OLD LAND AND wATER-MARKs
That once outlined the boundaries of the
infant city. The old buildings are rather
scarce, but along the banks of the slough.
half sunken in the mud are several old
hulks that were once of no mean impor-
tance to the people, who saw them come
and go with lively interest. Old relics.
which bring back almost forgotten hap
penings to the minds of the old-timers
here, are not very abundant, but there is
enough OF them to serve reminiscent
purpose. As usual, the most prominent
OF the old relics are those which suggest a
pygone disregard for law on one side and
q stubborn adherence to 1t on the other
Rusty handouts, that were secured to the
wrists with riyets and could not be re-
moved without a cold chiSel or file, OK
ldiZed knives and pistols and other "'49er
Jewelry," perfectly useless for ANYTHING
but the interior OF a cabinet, are occasion
ally found. Recently two old cannons,
used away back" were dug up near the
channel, and the authorities on such mat
ters have been disputing about them
since, without deciding where they came
from or who abandoned them.
APRoPos OF RELICS.
Sheriff Cunningham has in his office
one of the most cheerful collections of
law-breaking implements l ever saw.
When l get particularly blue I % and
stand in front of it with my hat oil, and
muse until l am thoroughly exhilarated.
The cabinet in which these treasures of
the Sheriff are stored is a large one, and
II Is full to overtlowing with all sorts of
knlckknacks. bearing inscriptions which
that they have been used with effect The
piece OF glass with which Fred Graves
committed suicide, and which is covered
with hls gore, is grave subject for con-
temptation. Then there is the knife
with which Wilson cut Kennedy: tho
knife that killed John Griffin; the knife
that killed a Silversmith; the knuckIes
used by a San Francisco hoodlum: the
knife used on Hughes; the pistol with
which .. q. Langman was shot the
pistol with which Arthur Mex owan
killed himself; the coat of mail worn by
George Cox; knots from the ropes that
hung French, Martin and others: a skull
dug up in the street; shotguns used by
stage robbers; burglars tools; counter
feiter's outfits, and hundred other little
bits of rare, quaint and curious criminal
Vlrtu-enough TO make the most somber
old sinner in the land revert lovingly to
the achievements of his youth.
SOMETHING MORE CHEERFUL.
While rambling around over the city
ran across an old graveyard, u forsaken.
apparently forgotten silent CITY. - where
the weeds have held undisputed sway for
years, and desolation has a dead cinch ON
every grave.
In this old cemetery there is only one
tombstone, standing in corner The
rest have been knocked over and dragged
away by the champion pitchers and
catchers OF the future, who were in need
OF baseball ground near the center of
the city. The diamond is laid out in the
middle of the cemetery, and the small
boy, who never fails to bring into har-
monious contact all the materials at his
disposal, has used a tombstone for the
home plate.
HA q % !