The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1891-10-23

She buys another pair.
-ICloak Review.
Office Boy Ito employerl-'Pve got a COM
plaint to make. STR" Employer-'Well,
what Is itY' Office Boy-'The cashier kicked
me, sir. l don't want no cashier to Kick me-"
Employer-"Of course he kicked you. You
don't expect me to attend to everything, do
you? l can't look after all the little details OF
the business myself"
Al III paid clergyman called upon his dea:
| con for an increase of salary. "Salary," said
the deacon, 81 Thought you worked for souls"
$50 l do" said the minister, shut l can not
eat souls"
"Ah, yes" said Aunt Sary. "Jennie's a
great singer; some day she'll be a regular
belladonnaw
At the Seaside.
Naud-"What are you readingT
Pimmie-"''A man without a Country
It's such a painful storyw
Maud docking dresrily up and down the
beach, -sIt isn't half as painful ss a country
without a man."-[Chicago Tribune.
Strained Relations Avoided.
Russian officer tpolitely)-''Pardon me, l
much trouble and questioning II you will
kindly raise your hat as the others do. Here
comes the Czur."
American (dedantly)-"I raise my hat to
no potentate on earth. I am an American
freeman. sir. born within the shadow Of"
Russian officer (struck with a bright idea)
1.-THE Gear Is very rich"
American (humbly raising bis hat)-"Why
didn't you say 30 before?"- New York
Weekly.
A clergyman Ia England In an earnest ad.
dress to bis p%arishioners advocating the estab.
lishment of a cemetery, asked them to con-
slider the "depIorable condition Of $4,000
Englishmen living without Christian BURIAL"
This suggests another clerical slip. "When
do you expect to see Deacon Smith againW
'.Never," replied the reverend gentleman
solemnly. "the deacon Is In heaven
Their gentle action and good effect on the
system really makes them a perfect little pill.
They please those who use them Carriers
Little Liver Pills may well be termed "Per.
fection. "-adv.
The Tramp's Revenge.
sour-faced Woman-''You get right out of
here or I'll call my husband"
Tramp-'Y'r husband amt at home."
Sour.faced Woman-"HOw do you know
ne ain'tW
Tramp-"Pve alters noticed, mum, that
ven a man Is married to a womb wOt looks
Ike you. he never Is at home except at meal
i~me."-[New York Weekly.
Papa's Daughter.
Dau9uLeT-Ou papa, w just v Aho"'
ovely Yachting costume you ever saw.
Papa (busily)-I'm glad you like 1t.
Daughter-It's Just too lovely for anything
low all we need Is a. yacht.-lNew York
Trotter-It's hard luck to have a homely
rima donna In comic opera.
Foster-Why so?
Trotter-Because all the chorus girls have
be Just so much homelier.-Harrisburg
telegraph.
Uncle Tom Ia philanthropist) just think
ose, dear; only five missionaries to 24'Wo
Rose-Goodness, how sad! The poor cam
balls will starve to death. Surely. they
send them a few more, UNCLE Judge.
No More Sales.
Confectionery and Ice cream MAXWELL
ten of our best customers next week,
Assistant-We will? Are they going to
No, they're going to get married.-TGoo
Teacher-Johnuy Cumso, II your father |
n do a piece of work III seven days. and l.
ur Uncle George can do 1t In nine days, r
W long would It take both Of them? T
Johnny-They'G never get 1t done. They'd :
around and swap fish stories.- TEpoch.
Bounder-A man from the insurance com. .
nv called today and asked me what l knew 4
out your character and habits.
,impson-What did you tell him? Did you I
? that you had occasionally seen me intoxi. 4
ed? j.. 70
go back on a friend In any such way
that? l told him that l had occasionally :
N you sober. ~
he hot days of summer will soon be here. "
they, come take Hoods sarsapariIla to y
4 in good condition.. Sold by all druggists. "
He Ought to Know.
Mr. Hoag, from Chicago-Why, Mandy, It's 4
warm here the grease Is coming right ~
M clothes. =
)aughter-You mean presperation, father. a
Hoag-Now, look here, MANDY! I've
pped enough hogs to know the difference =
grease and pres peratiop.
At the Newsboy's Mission School. =
Ito Mickey)-Now, Mickey, you
ID the lesson to me first and then tell me,
tn the book closed, what you read. .
Mickey (reading)-See the cow. Can the
" run? Yes, the cow can run Can the
" run as swiftly as the horse? No, the wi
rise runs swifter than the COW. (Closlng mt
his book to tell what be has read. Get fin
to de COW. Kin her jigsteps run? Be- ha
she kin run. Kin de COW do up de ca
rse a-runnin? Nav, de COW aint In 1t wild ~.
horse.-[Life. m,
1t Has More SOnOrOus Sound. to
i suppose" observed the high school girl o,
Amy, that when Mr.. Fitzpercy proposes M,
j will accept him?" seI
Indeed l WON'T, Mildred" replied Amy, err
don't expect him to pop, but when he does MI
will be a cold day for him." on
Don't say 1t will be a cold day" urged IN n,
ldred. "You know that Is reprehensible on
ng. Say it will be a geld section of the =
,domad."-TPittsburg Chronicle. m
yoatlyoposo ts Tho oonco of tho fnfoIaroblo :
I'd breath" of multitudes. DR.. Henry
Mandrake Bitters remove the cause H.
prevent the evil, and cost only %
-
Not Much Acquainted. "a
Your husband" said the caller, synipatb- 4