Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-02-13
Uncle Remus and the Phonograph.

Uncle Remus and the Phonograph.
Not long ago the husband Of the la
DIV whom Uncle Remus calls Miss
Sally carried home phonograph or
graphophone for the edification and
amusement of his family. There were
several cylinders with the machine
one or two comic solos, some pieces
by military band, a banjo solo, the
chimes Of Trinity Church and some
blank cylinders for experiment. When
they had all enjoyed the performance
of this wonderful invention and had
been duly amazed at the vivid repro
ductiou of the slightest shades OF
sound. the lady Of the house thought
of Uncle RemuS, who was engaged IN
repairing the grape arbor in the gar
den. She placed one OF the unused
cylinders in the little machine, set il
in motion and proceeded to talk into
the receiver, initiating the voice OF
the cook. The result was a dialogue
between herself and the cook, IN
which Uncle Remus was the subject
Of discussion. In little while the
old man made his appearance at the
door He had dropped his hat on the
back steps and as he stood barehead-
ed in the attitude OF expectancy, with
a half humorous expression on his
weather-beaten features, he cut a
figure that was not without its pathet-
ic suggestions.
"Is you SEN for Inc, Miss Sally 2 he
inquired.
Yes" said the lady I've got a
little machine | want to show you
Come over here. Now stand there
and put these cups over your ears.
Miss Sally, what kinder contrap-
ton dish = the old man asked, ex-
amining the ear tubes suspiciousiy.
please Am don't play no pranks
Oh me. | been feein' skittish all day,
Ell ef you git me skeerd I'm bleedze
ter holler."
Don't be so stupid exclaimed the
lady 'rut the things over your ears.
Miss Sally, what yer gwine ter do'
Nv work waitin' fer me right now, Ell
it got ter be done dis blessed day
amt it, Marse John?'
The gentleman appealed to pre-
tended to be playing with the chill
dren. and made no response.
Il believe you are losing your
mind" said the lady. Put those
things over your ears.
Miss Sally" protested Uncle Re
mus. Il amt got no time for ter be
proiickin' in here. | been KNOWN
YOU ever sense you 'uz born. an l
know right pine-blank you er hIin'
fer ter git me in trouble. Deze yer
fxin's is holer, en- | dunner what dey
got in um.
Are you going to put them on
inquired the lady llmpatlsntly
Miss Sally, fer de Lord sake lemme
go out yonder an do my work. |
amt use to no kinder harness like
dis. mo- speshually putin blinds on
my ears. I'll put um on, he con
tinued, seeing that protest was use
less. but after you git me hitched up,
I'm sholy gwine ter break sump'n, en-
'twont be my fault nudder. l tell
you dat now"
Uncle Remus adjusted the tubes to
his ears and Miss Sally started the
machine. First came the announce
ment Of the piece in a voice that
sounded like it had been dug out OF
tin mine and hardened by the Bes-
semer process 1t was so startling
that Uncle Remus. whose politeness
is a part of his nature. lodged his
head and exclaimed sub - rolling
his big eyes at Miss Sally.
Then the band struck up and the
old man seemed to enjoy it immense
". He shut his eyes and then sud
denly opened them, as il to make sure
that he was still in the neighborhood.
Presently the band concluded with
the usual crash, and Uncle Remus
drew a long breath of relief as his
Miss Sally stopped the phonograph.
What did you hear? 2 she asked as
the old man took the tubes from his
ears and proceeded to examine them
more closely than before. He looked
at them inside and out and then fitted
them to his ears, but he heard moth
ing.
Miss Sally" he exclaimed, Il wish
you'd please IN tell me wharbouts
deze yere pipes leads teri
Right to the phonograph here.
DE whichm?'
The phonograph-this little ma
chine here.
"Uh-uh, Miss Sally! Dey may fool
Won. but | done been here too long
fer dat. Dey can't fool me. De ter
cen er deze yer pipes amt so mighty
fer fun de circus. | dunner whar-
bouts de circus is, but wharsomever
de shows agwine on right Gar is de