The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-04-17

~ sined is ded. On the
contry, 81 still live" which words was
spoken by Danyil Webster, who was a
able man. Even the old-line wings of
Boston admit that.
Webster is ded now, howsever, and his
mantle has probably fallen into the
hands of sum dealer in End hand close,
who cant sell it. Leastways nobody
pears to be goin round wearin it to any
pertlcler extent, now days. The rigi-
mint of whom was turnel. finerly con-
cluded they was bett i adapted as Home
Cards, which accounts for Your not
hearin of me, ear this, where the bauls
is the thickest and where the cannon
doth roar. But as American citizen /
shall never cease to admire the mastery
advance our troops made on Washin-
ton from Bull Run, u short time ago. 1t
was well dun ispoke to my wife bout
1t at the time. My wife sed it was well
dun.
1t havin there4 bin determined to per-
tect Baldinsville ut all hazzuds. and us
there was no apprehensions of any inn
meJit danger, | thought would go OFF
onto pleasure tower. Accordingly l
put on clean Billed Shirt and started
for Washinton. went there to see the
Prints Napoleon, and not to see the
place. which will here take occasion to
obsarve is about as uninterestin locali-
ty as there is. 1t is easy enough to see
why man goes to the poor house or the
penitentiary. It's becawz he can't help
1t. But why he should voluntarily 90
and live in Washinton is intirely be-
yond my comprehension, and l can't say
no fairer nor that.
put up to leadin hotel. / saw the
landlord and sed, "How dye do.
Square"
Fifty cents, SIR" was his reply.
''Sir?"
'Half-a-dollar. We charge twenty-five
cents for iookin at the landlord, and fifty
cents for speakin to him. If you want
supper, a boy will show you to the dinin
room for twenty-five cents. Your room
bein in the tenth story, it will cost you
dollar to be shown up there"
"How much do you AK for a man
breathin in this equinomikal tarvun?'
sed /.
''Ten cents Breth," was his reply.
Washinton hotels are very reasonable
IN their charges. IN. B.--This is Sar-
kassum.
sent up my keerd to the Prints, and
was immejitly ushered before him. He
received me kindly, and axed me to sit
down.
81 hav cum to pay my respecks to
you, Mister Napoleon, hopin I see you
hale and harty."
81 am quite well" he sed. "Air you
well, sir?"
Sound as q cuss!' / answered.
He seemed to be pleased with my
ways, and we entered into conversation
to onct.
'How's Lewis?' axed, and he sed the
Emperor was well. Eugeny was like
wise well, he sed. Then axed him was
Lewis good provider? did he cum
home arly mites? did he perfoom her bed
room at a unreasonable hour with gin
and tanzy? did he go to ''the Lodge" on
mites when there wasn't any Lodge? did
he often hav to go down town to meet a
friend? did he hav extensiv acquaint-
ance among poor young widders whose
husbands was in Californy? to all of
which questions the Prints perlitely re-
piide, givin me to understan that the
Emperor was behavin well.
81 AK these questions, my royal duke
and most noble Illness and imperials, be-
caws I'm anxious to know how he stands
as a man. l know he's smart He is
cunnin, he is long heded, he is deep-he
is CRATE. But onless he is good he'll
come down with crash one of these
days and the Bonyparts will be Bustid
up agin. Bet yer life!'
"Air you preacher, sir?" he inquired
siitely sarkastical.
mo, sir. But bleeve in morality.
likewise bleeve in Meetin Houses. Show
me place where there isn't any Meetin
Houses, and where preachers is never
seen, and I'll show you a place where
Old hats air stuffed into broken winders,
where the children air dirty and ragged,
where gates have no hinges, where the
women are slipshod, and where maps of
the DEVILS wild land air painted upon
mems shirt bosums with tobacco jooce!
That's what I'll show you. Let us con-
slider what the preachers do for us before
we aboose EN-"
He sed he didn't mean to aboose the
leroy. Not at all, and he was happy to
ee that was interested in the Bonypart
anily.
Its CRATE family" sed !. "But
they scooped the old man in"
''How, Sir?"
Napoleon the Grand. The Bfitishers