Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1891-11-19
THE SCIENCE OF MANNERS.
A simple Rule for Use ON All Social Occa.
sions.

A Simple Rule for Use ON AL Social Occa.
slons.
Many good soul gives herself great
uneasiness upon being called into new
sphere of action, either through in
crease of wealth or through the hus-
bands election TO Office, or because of
promotion in any way, or on occasion OF
a visit among those with whom much
social usage has rubbed away corners
and angles and who know just what
TO do and how to do IL at every point,
and who, she fears, will either be NOR
tilted by her ignorance of the lesser de-
tails or will scorn her Ignorance, and
herself with it.
But she should take into her view, in
the first place, that anyone who would
scorn her In the least for not knowing
the minor shades of etiquette is not
worth considering in the least; and that
she is no more to be thought lightly of
for not knowing the details of fashion
able life than fashionable people would
be fouted for not knowing the in
tricacies of behavior among the high
Chinese; and that il fashionable people
were to visit ! er, it is quite as likely as
not that they would show themselves
to be unacquainted with the accepted
proprieties in the smaller ways of life.
She needs but to think of the wran-
Cling and confusion and resentment and
heart-burning which would follow a
country funeral if city person had
come to conduct it without instruction,
in order to see that every province has
its own satrap and code of laws, and
that after all it is much the case of the
mountain and the mouse in Mr.. Emer-
sons apologize.
But there is an exceedingly ready
and short way out of every difficulty of
the sort for if the embarrassed indi-
vidual of whom we speak will take the
trouble to reflect upon the various
dicta of the regulations concerning
which she feels herself uninformed,
and which have seemed to her only a
trap and pitfall for the unwary, she
will come to the conclusion that none
willingly hamper themselves with use
less or capricious rules, which would
only involve their own discomfort, and
;hat it is therefore to be supposed that
every one of these lesser details has
sprung into being to answer a need, to
make things easier, to spare peoples
feelings preiudices or exertions. That
she must not break an engagement to
line let us say, is not simply because
she must never break any promise, but
because doing so will disarrange
;he whole affair, and make awk-
Hardness and Inconvenience for
hose that have been so kind
as to ask her to their table. That on
Ealing tremendously on one member
If household, who is SO either tenn
,orarily or permanently, she should
cave her card, or ask for the lady who
the head of the house, even If quite
Indifferent as to whether she sees her
>r not, is not the command of an idle
piece of hypo trisy, but is to be done
both because the courtesy is due to the
person whose threshold is crossed, and
because it makes the circumstances
easy for the person ON whom the call is
really made, avoiding any disturbance
Or jealousy, .LThat she may not refuse
an invitation from one and accept il
from another is not rule for the arbi-
trary curtailment of her liberty and
pleasure, but is one made for the sake
Of sparing the sensibilities of the one
whose invitation is not accepted. In
deed, we might go through the whole
list of the things to be done and
not to be done, and although one might
be appalled, by their extent and number,
yet, upon searching into them,. one
would find that single authority con-
troled them-the authority that is be-
hind all good manners-the authority OF
the Golden Rule. They are the finest
ladies, they are the gentlemen most
without reproach, in relation to man
ners, whose whole behavior is modelled
only upon the intetion of doing to Others
what they would have others to dc
them. The old Stagirite said-how many
centuries ago!-that manners were the
lesser morals; and our friend who fears
for her etiquette on coming into new
meridians will meet most of its essen
tial requirements By always remember
ing to t.o that whieh would be mos
agreeable to others, most delicately con
siderate of the feelings, and the leas
likely to hurt, or wound, or mortify, ol
disgust. = EIarper's Bazar.