The Jersey City news., 1891-12-11
VISITING CARDS.
When and How to Leave Them
Hints on Points Of Etiquette.

Hints on Points Of Etiquette.
Mr.. Howells SAYS somewhere: Most
women can express any sentiment
under Heaven with cut flowers.
And the same is true of the visiting
card-ioy or grief, congratulation OF
coincidence, gratitude, regret, cordial
ity, or even of disapproval and repu-
diation.
A society woman recently, becoming
vexed past her patience with the
somewhat vulgar vagaries of a well
known dame, left her card upon the
offender with the address scratched
off.
A perfectly final act!
1t is a mistake to believe that sta
tioners make tine fashions in cards in
their own interests, as Is sometimes
asserted, when, in fact. there is a per-
manent etiquette in this currency of
courtesy.
To meet all these requirements of
courtesy a very large quantity Of
cards is required by those to whom
the exercise of social amenities Is the
rule of daily life.
1t was, therefore, merciful dispen-
sation which abolished the custom
some while ago in vogue, of leaving u
card for each member of a family,
and, if the caller were a married
woman, of adding as many of her nus
bands dealing both packs" as a
lively young matron put it once. Now
it suffices to leave your own card for
the lady upon whom you call, il she
is out or engaged. and your husbands
for her and for her husband.
If there are daughters in the house
who are in society, leave one card OF
your own and one OF your husbands
for them. collectively.
II yoh cannot be present at an
afternoon tea to which you are bid
den, send your card on the afternoon
of the ''at home" 1t is equivalent to
your presence and cancels the social
debt. OF course, if you attend, you
leave your card in the hall, or with the
servant who announces you. Ii the
men of your family have been invited,
and cannot be present, leave their
cards also. If a man is asked and can
not go, he should send his card by
messenger or post, if he has no rela-
tive to take care of his visiting obliga-
tions.
Cards of coincidence are delicate as
surances of sympathy. and a graceful
attention. If possible, they should be
left in person, but may be sent.
A card with congratulations" writ
ten upon it may be sent to the parents
of a newly born infant, an engaged.
friend, or to those newly wed. If the
parents only of the bride are your
friends. send your cards to them with
''best wishes" inscribed.
If you cannot attend church we'd
ding send card or cards to those who
invited you. If the invitation was
issued in two names respond to both
upon the envelope, in which two
cards should be inclosed and sent by
mail or messenger upon the day of
the marriage. II you go to the church,
leave your card or send it within a
week.
1t is not good form to write notes
upon visiting cards-anythins which
savors of an abbreviation of courtesy
as this does being invariably in ques-
tionable taste.
Introducrions by card are some
times simpler than by letter. The
name of the bearer is in such cases
written above that of the giver, pre-
fixed by the word introducing"
This card is then placed in small en-
velope, left unsealed, and bearing on
the lower left-hand corner, .'Introduc-
ing Mr.. or Mrs. -" with the full
name written out.
When presented, or forwarded, the
person introduced incIoses his or her
x,,.k \, i
upon it. This style of introduction Is
much more personal than by note or
letter.-JWlid Hayes Percy in the
Phaladelphda Inquirer.
One Thing Women Can't Do.
In these later days women are find
ing out that they can do almost any
thing they please. Last year one of
them became q serious wrangler in
mathematics, and only last week an
other passed top notch examination
for a Mississippi River steamboat
pilot. There is no doubling the
capacity of women to achieve the
possible, but they have already be-
gun to discover that impossibilities
do exist, and when they find one a
mighty fuss they make in their despair
over it. One of these impossibilities
for the highest feminine intellect is
the successful management of its own
servant girls, says the st. Louis Re
public. We had supposed and hoped
that this was conceded as an impossi-
bility, but the highest feminine intel
lect is once more making a dead set at
it in the magazines and newspapers.
Now it is perfectly clear to any man
who gets at the realities of things
that it is impossible for one woman to
manage another woman. She can
manage man without any trouble at
all. Whether he's her husband or the
hired man, she knows how to bring
him into subsection and keep him
there. But in the parlor or the kit
chen every woman is equally prone to
believe that her way is better than
any other woman's way. If one
woman submits to another and yields
her way, it is only temporary and with
mental, and sometimes with all ex-
pressed reservation, which covers the
whole case. She will not do it one
moment longer than she can help.
1t is curious and interesting fact
that man who has tried to manage
one woman and has failed hopclessly,
who is managed by his wife because
he is philosophical enough to see that
it is really the best way out of it, can
go from his home to his factory and
manage q hundred and several hun
= l. 1. Il.