The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-23
BRIGHT BITS,

BLIZZARD BILL-What's the subject for debate
at the Etiquette Club to-nightl
Six-card Henderson-Which is the improper
est for man to eat with his hat on or his coat
offr'-IndidndpOliS Journal
LADY NoBoDY-Isn't American aristocracy
very cheap?
Miss Veripert-Well. 1 don't know. 1 find
that it is not hard to bny European nobleman
at a bargain.-Neao York Herald.
YOUNG MARRIED MAN-What would you do,
dear, if was one of those men who are in bad
humor when they get up in the morning and use
bad language because the breakfast is cold?
Young Wife-I would made it hot for you
Judge.
TEAcHER-The lesson this morning is. "When
your father and mother. forsake you then the
Lord will take you up"
Wicked Dickey Hicks-Sposen de ole folks
never goes back on ye; what den?-Neto York
Herald.
CusToMER-Id like about six months time on
these diamonds. Times money" you
know.
Jeweler-C Certainly: but you don't expect the
goods and lot of money for the price of the
goodssalone, do you?-JetCeierS' Weekly,
HUsBAND-what was that you were playing,
my dearg
Wife-Did you like itS
ut was exquisite. 8"
and 1T is the the very thing played last evening
well, the steak was burned last evening"
New York Weekly.
WHOLESALE JEwELER-Your inexperience is
against you, but may give you a trial if you
have no family membranes.
Appllcant-There are none worth mentioning
except trust deed on fathers sawmill, a ven
doris lien ON brother Johns farm and chattel
mortgage on sister Marias husbands sorrel
colt.-Jewelers' Weekly.
NERVOUS WIFE (starting up in bed at mid
night EGeorge for mercy's sake, wake up /
balAVa there lie a0nnnhOdV in That room
upstairs.
Indignant Man of the House-wei, OF all the
illogical women l ever knew. you are the worst
II you can believe that you'll believe anything.
You are cut out for a theosophist. PhiEddeI-
phiG Press.
81 sEE Charlie Freathinquer goes to church
now"
"Yes, he goes frequently"
''He used to be skeptic. Is he coming
round, think you?'
Coming 'round2 Well, guess he is. Why,
Charlie would be as good a Christian as you
would want to-day If he only believed in hell. -
Cape Cod Item.
A FEW days ago United States senator was
conversing with the head of bureau in one of
the departments at Washington. and the sen
ator asked why certain chief clerk had been
removed.
thought that he knew more than did, which
was to me incomprehensible.
''Yes," said the senator, land intolerable. ~
Concord Monitor.
"MAY inquire what you are doing nowY''
kindly remarked an old gentleman to divin-
ity graduate who had not yet received a call,
though he desired one very much
well SIR" he responded. I'm on the turf ~
ION the turf" exclaimed the horrihed old
gentleman. why, my dear boy, 1 thought
That's all right" interrupted the graduate.
sit isn't so bad as that. I'm only steeple-
chaser, don't you know.''-Detroft Free Press.
CAN anybody tell why bridal music must be
conventionalS The Lohengrin march. inspiring
as it is can hardly sound so sweetly through the
corridors of memory as will the soft strains of
Annie LAURIE which an organist in the EN-
pire State recently chose to play during sun
set wedding in a stately city church.
"And twas there that Annie Laurie
Gave me her promise true"
would seem to strike the keynote for long
honeymoon; but let no one come forward to
propose that other Annie. Give us, rather
Lohengrin forever.-Boston Commonwealth.