The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-13
A WATERS FINE TENOR.
HOW IT SOUNDS IN A CHEAP NEW
YORK RESTAURANT.
oysters are Again the Theme of Start
ling Elocution-A Glimpse Of Some
Gastronomic Metaphors.
(Copyriqht)

NEW YORK, Sept. 12.-"Onen
He was not an umpir e, or a referee at 6
duel. He was not going to count three in
COY crisis or give a signal in any struggle
He was simply a restaurant waiter and his
ejaculation specifically summoned an oys
ter stew.
The circumstances under which the mon
osyllabe came to represent what it does,
and to represent nothing else, may illustrate
an interest ing evolution in the vernacular
Of the language. People are in a hurry In
this country, and restaurant walters have
attained degree Of velocity quite beyond
any parallel. 1t is obvious to any one who
has ever critically contemplated walters,
that they prefer to do everything the
easiest possible way. II they do not succeed
it is because they have imperfectly meas
ured the conditions.
'Put on one oyster stewp was the way 1t
began. Mr.. Darwin would delighted to
watch the evolution. Natural selection hos
proceeded on erratic lines, but has surely
advanced toward the surviving type. Some
walters began saying: Zone oyster stewr'
then zone stew" Then something that
sounded like "Wanst" and finally, "Onegn
Others like TO say. and are still saying, with
thrilling dramatic effect, Put on onem A
fellow in Nassau street has way Of saying
"Put onm that electrifies the house, and all
but brings out burst Of applause from the
awe-Struck diners
So much for the oyster, which just now
are in season again, and are being consumed
with that avidity which New York reserves
for the first two or three weeks of new
oyster season.
When it comes to perennial dish like
steak we find the waiter in his best mood.
So far as steak goes the walters vocabulary
has no vacation as in the case of the oyster.
1t is kept in fine training. OF course the
status OF the restaurant here as elsewhere
has a great deal to do with the finish of the
waterfall style. If the waiter bawls, "you
can put on one steak for him r' it Is a very
cheap restaurant The same may be said Of
place where the timid diner hears Let
him have steakW Simple "steak !" con-
fesses very little as to the restaurants
status, but the tone in which the single
word L. uttered often speaks volumes No
types can express the remarkable modula-
tons OF which cheap restaurant waiter,
N good health, Is capable of making use.
he sweeps the whole gamut of emphasis
with brilliant and staggering abandon.
Musical types alone may illustrate the man
ner IN which the cheap restaurant tenor
handles phase. Thus one order comes out
somewhat in this form
STEAK HE WILL HAVEI
Steak is a dish that calls perhaps most
4 frequently for a modifying clause. Even
a in cheap restaurants people are particular
\ about steak who can stand variation III
almost anything else. By all outward signs
most patrons like 1t "lean and rare" though
medium" is familiar word. Occasion
ally the waiter roars, "Slrloin! and let the
\ blood follow the knifel" Authorization
comes IN again with singular effect. Thus,
without preliminary remark, the waiter
bawls. And have it rarew By implication
the thing wanted is steak. A Fulton street
waiter with mellow voice used TO say,
very lean, pleased" or, with beautiful in
Election, "Rarem That was all But the
Invisible beings behind the kitchen partition
a comprehended the counterslgn. If there
are two diners there will, perhaps, be a call
q Tor Two leaEs!n or the invisible party may
hear warning to Have both OF them
n rarer
The student of restaurant philology will
not be long in discovering that soup affords
petter scope for the walters genius. "Veg"
may mean vegetable soup, tomato soup may
De cut down to simple "tomato," and an
other variety may sound very picturesque
as chicken" but soup he's limitations.
Even coffee heaves q greater scope. For q
simple order we shall hear "draw one!"
But when you ask for the omission of milk
then 1t may be, draw one on the dark I"
II you have ordered coffee and butter cakes
the waiter may 60 to the dumb waiter and
shrek, three up!" The three will be butt
ter cakes. He draws the coffee himself per-
maps, or adds the draw one!" if that
function is to be performed by somebody
else. Beans may be secured by call for
one on the Bostons!" II the same dish is
TO Dc accompanied by pork, the order will
probably be pork dndm
Fuddlngs being served with one or two
Kinds OF sauce, the order requires a modi~
tying clause. Plum pudding with only the
sugar sauce would be Plum hardw With
both kinds of sauce it comes az plum bo'p'
scientific rarebit-hegging the readers
pardon for the startling transition of course
requires little ale. The waiter carries q
little glass of ale to the dumb waiter and
starts the liquid on its downward flight
with the simple suggestion, You know"
In the realm of metaphor, the waiter is
s2metlmes more vigorous than appetizing.
when he yells Three door mats p no sensi-
i've diner could be expected to meet with
any glees the three buckwheat cakes that
efterward make their appearance. "Four
cables" would mean four sausages. Nat
uraly, mlnce pie is q shining mark. To
bring it forth in all the glory OF a white
sugar mantle, the waiter appeals for "Dys-
4 pepsia in a snow storm ~ Hash would be
designated simply as Mystery for onep'
81 VIZ ANS ocuoOA buS ucNCOLQeT Is pro-
ioundly puzzled at an order for Summer
time and plate of grass" The order is
given with musical turn like this
NoTEs.-"sUMMER TIME AND PLATE OF
GRAssw
summer time" proves to be cracker and
INK The grass" is asparagus. A bowl
d VI milk without crackers, or where the
waiter supplies himself with the crackers.
& s attained by request to ''See me on the
4 Do"l: The waiter is often fantastic with
s ul neing funny, as when he says, boil
nv ~. door knobsW OF course he means eggs.
tl ~ means eggs also when he says, "Fry
s"o.' When he orders "two builetsT he
4 means fish balls.
nantS se hlnts, suggesting in a most frag-
no I way the complications of a vast
Zbst ot infant vocabulary, are confined to
aa;no We may call the solo lines. But i'm
Ne r combination of these phrases, when
4 p.ping tenor with his "Pnt on oneln is
4 i-os,t.a az the same moment as the sonorous
,,,;,S TS!le with his Have it rare!" the bass.
4 asI us Three door mats ~ bringing In n
uLe background of musical color. The peo-
fora .bo lave not experienced the thing be-
iny M oAorai effect is naturally disquiet-
serve a.. novice inds it difficult to pre-
the mas az easy astronomical equilibrium in
c-esca,,Sst OF some of these WagneriAn
5oo,naS y. 10 time man who NAV be
tbssa ~. W cheap restaurant gets used to
esssav =. Jugs After awhile he even
hahind ;. Wonder hew the powers that be
Haj,o.. sue partition or under the dumb
MAS ~ s 80 manage to extricate, in this