davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

for ,sots. because they do not want 10
keep sober, as their ambition Is 10 Keep
trunk: but jUst imagine those gooa
old DAYS when one could get drunk
twice day and not mind it very much,
and inst add to that the pleasure OF
being able TO get drunk and sober hfty
times a day, if necessary. Why' II
The kola nat can be brought here, and IN
Quantities. there will be no more need OF
notrol wagons. hOla nuts can be kept
on ran at the patrol boxes and call Tor
the wagon will not be necessary. Orders
will come from the club houses ana
down town resorts reading ABOUT thls
way: lone cab and two kola nuts
Men will have no necessity OF explain
ING 10 their wives that they have got a
heavy cold while at a meeting of 1.-THE
lodge The politician will be in the
seventh heaven, because he can nil up
on his rounds and sober up at bound,
20 TO speak. The inebriate aSylums
viii be empty, and the consumption
of whisky will be liable TO IN
crease to an alarming extent. There
is hardly anybody that is not familiar
with the good fellow around town
iocular claim that getting full is bully
fan. but that getting sober Is --.
With plenty of kolo nuts on hand, get
ting rid of your jag will take less time
than getting it, and be heap cheaper.
II is said that these nuts grow in great
quantities in their native jungles, and
NAV even become so cheap that nuts or
parts of nuts may be put in slot ma
chimes. and drop in your nickel and
oct vour kola nut will be the legend
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

Spseio. Correspondence or re REGISTER.
New YORK. March l4.-Something
had % be done 20 enliyen che monotOny
Of the Lentea season. The girls made
up their minds 10 that a year ago, when
forty consecutive mornings found them
plodding 20 early prayers, forty conSec-
utive afternoons saw them seated al
Leuten lectures for women only, ana
forty consecutive evenings Oehe.d them
first az vesperS and then az e7cn-prayer.
For forty days and forty nights never
50 much of sweet as q chocolate drop
passed their lips, nor vas gay gowh
upon their backs, nor did even .l1'-e
skip escape their feet
This year they declared that they
would reform That they had committed
the rr.evous sin of beiug righteous over
much they an knew And they agreed
that such things must me-, bee repeated
So this is the ledtea proper order for the
day.
Morning prayers as heretofore, lit
lie shopping eNpeCi-iou--ao money must
be spent. however, and NOT more than lo
minutes can be- spent riotou>iy sa1-
Nc in any single window. Afternoon
a Browning or an Arnold OF Shakes
peare reading in hall 1r par.or with
single glass of soda-n0tice cream soda
Of course-afterward. Nespers ON the
way home. A good dinner and dessert
as usual Evening Quiet chat with
Jack iu thc back Far.or, OF in the small,
Quietly furnished reception room. Some
li,tle piece Of fancy work must be- al
ways in hand. This bit of industry
should. preferably, take Che form of q
mite box with an emrro iered cover for
the stray bits Of coin that are 90 form
-he Easter offering.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
Somehow 1t Did Not Wo-.

Il don't know whether tbers
tentionally or not" thought
marked young Jack Kanebfe- D., =,
club the other night. 'bgt .-t '-e
these newspapers pass around ss
lot of unreliable information
"How's that, old chappc?
Freddie Choker, his running MAJ.
why, ! saw in thu Fnum..
week that a poor young Glow c
cago borrowed an umbrela of ,.
president and next day returned go
Awful lie-that"
"Oh, but he did. rea.y Hc ,.r,
into the bank the very nct, 49,
returned il. The pre>idea, ~. ---
much aStoniShed tina, be- called o..
young man back ana made I'm ~
cashier at humping salary
Because he was eva ..
eh?"
"Exactlp. Well. yol So
it was big scheme. and uat-Ir'..
the same racket before 'tc ...
got on 10 II.
Boss idea"
so rushed around d. -e N..+
Bank and asked old He.Inn .-
me an umbrella, heard ,l ~.
going 10 be a directors u.o.-. f.
next day, and ! iuteDicl e. rr-r .ls
umbrella right in the midst %. t...
to paralyze the entire o4'rt. ,p
What did old Moueyrlg, sd.
why, he said that tdl uo. n..
bit ike rain. i know uy Business,
said l. Just you projlc, yo.- .ts.
ham. So he told q clerk O. .,tue base
an old one and taxi - fo- ,...--y. ,
regular bank Interest"
Great Scott"
But that WASH .n. wor, VI A.
When | looked al the Umbrella iH b.
hanged If it wasn't 90. ths- H, mr
had borrowed from me- himself i0Wa,
Los Angeles during -Eo boon
And they both liza 're,n -r,tr
and unused sadly oye- .Le u,.r .l.
reliability Of Scn>at.0la rress
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
Making 1t Pleasant.
Neu York Sun.

-ftW IUN ptN.
Owing to a confusion in the names
of stations, | got off at the wrong one
in Tennessee. and as there was no pub
lie house in the hamlet, the station
agent said / could go home with him.
His house was humble one. as seen in
the darkness, and as we reached the
gate he halted and said:
Stranger, perhaps | ought TO tell
you"
"What?' | asked, as he hesitated.
"Well. never mind. Come along in. -
He took me into the front room, which
did not seem to be much used by the
family. As we entered there came a
loud yell from an adjoining room, and
he explained:
Its only my wife boxing the Oldest
gals ears for Sassing her Let me take
your hat"
He had scarcely taken it when a boy
was heard whoOping, and he explained:
Its only my wife pulling young
Tins hair for not bringing in the night
wood"
The whoop was followed by yelp
and howl, and my host calmly eX-
planned:
Zone O. the dogs got in the way, you
see. aud she lifted him"
I was trying TO make his position
little less embarrassing, when there
were two wells in quick succession fol-
lowed by a scramble, and he crossed his
legs and remarked:
The twins was probably hooking
vitles of the table and got caught at
it,
Half minute later, just as had got
ready TO ask about the crops in that
locality. the door was banged open and
woman. who had fork in one hand
and baby on her shoulder, bounced in
and shouted out:
You onery, lazy Jim Murdoch, if
you don't help take keer Of those bratS
PHI
She saw me and stopped and retreat
ed. and when she had gone the husband
explained:
That's what l was going to tell ye
at the gate-that ye'd have to take
chances on her neing in tantrum.
She's got one, and if you don't mind be-
ing called squint-eyed, bald-headed,
gander-shanked and hump-backed, and
if YOU can kick Che dogs off, when she
sets 'em on and put up with the chill
dren climbing over you, I'll try to make
it pleasant otherwise.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
THE KOLA NUT.
A Discovery That is Said to Sober the
Worst Case of Drunkenness.

Cincinnati commercial trd-eflt.
There comes from abroad, through "a
not familiar enough channel, the In
yention" Of London, England, a story
that, if true, fOreShadOwS u revolution
in social life. 1t recalls that most
wonderful and charming of all legends,
The Fountain of Perpetual Youth,
after a draught OF which, long and
lingering rs il would have been if the
seeker should have ever found it, the
gray hair turns again to golden, the dim
eyes brighten, the pallid cheeks flush,
the weak, piping" voice Is again Il
manly bass. the arm thrills with the
consciousness of muscular power and
the heart beats high and fast with hope
and enthusiasm; after draught Of
which, in fact, the old become young.
saws the "InventiOn:'
we have before this alluded to the
wonderful properties Of the kOla nut as
an anti-inebriator. We had not then
before us. however, the evidence given
by Mr.. T. ChriSty. the chief importer Of
this nut, in a case in which payment for
a consignment was disputed. He stated
that il a man were lying inSenSibly
drunk on the floor. or under the table,
and a nut were put into his mouth, in
fifteen minutes the man would rise, and
one would not know he had been drunk.
He would not even have headache.
Even II within four or five days he went
10 take spirits again. the effects of the
nut would still produce a nausea in his
throat and mouth. This was we'll
known scientific fact. As the nuts are
used incidentally, 1t is an important
matter not to have them moldy, rs they
then change their character and become
fungus. They are then of no use.
Now, men about town, read this Won
Ter. The millennium has come. Not
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

mind that She would not sing to her
New York audience, aftey every seat IN
the house and even every foot OF stand
ing room had been sold, the manage
ment went wild wish grief and Jury
Offering limitleSS sums for single triN'
Bat the saucy little diva was capriciosS'
ard declared THAI neither money nor
tears SHOULD prevail with her. rms
year she is pouring out her sweet Folce
upon the simple villagers without money
and without price. 1T is so mucn
easier 10 sing for love than sor money,
She explains to all who marve, at her
generosity and prodigality~
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

Weddings are more or less the same
ail the world over. That species OF do
nestle taxation known as the presents
works as surely in its demands upon the
roval family as upon the humble wait
reSs who must buy something for the
cook who is about 10 wed the gardener.
The Young King Of China was married
the other day, and Her Majesty, the
Queen OF England, sent him a magnit-
cent silver clock. History relates not
whether the Queen lamented because an
Indian shawl could not do royal duty
upon this occasion. 1t only states that
the clock was sent because the King OF
China had sent the Queen beautiful
presents Jubilee time.
There is still another evidence that
ROYALTY is much like common folk in its
fadS and follieS, likes and diSlikeS, loves
and duties. Carmen SYLVIA the poet
queen. has won for herself as many ad-
mirerS among princes and princesSeS as
al every day newspaper woman in New
York city gains for herself among work
erS in her own craft aud out Of IL. Every
where Carmen sylvia" goes, and when
she stays at home she is Landed, praised
and petted as the poet wonder Of the
age. The Sultan of Turkey grew madly
enamOred Of her and ordered a superb
edition of her poems, which he reads and
re-readS TO his own royal fill.
The day after the ball. is day
long TO be remembered in the minds of
New York men who have permitted
themselves TO be carried away with the
: L tfah aF akF-
tent that they have been led TO patro-
nize the masqueradeS that have been so
popular with all, both in high and low
degree, this year Of ninety-one. If the
balls had broken up in due season, all
would have been well, but they lin
gered on into the 1--WE Sma' " until
broad daylight, leaving the merry-goerS
in Il state Of collapse rivalled only by
the waiter who contradicted John L..
/ i'm public restaurant some time ago.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
Public Life and Private Morals.
FebrnqrN ForlniqlNn Rerlelr.


Certain recent events which have
troubled the world of politics, have
raised question of wider and more
permanent interest than is usually in
volved in crisis whose Importance is
primarily political. That question is
the connection between public and pri-
vate conduct pecially the private
conduct to which, by large masses Of
people, the terms moral and immoral
are not only applied, but confined. The
form of the question in the present case
is simply this: Should politician,
who has gone through the Divorce
Court, be considered, for that reason,
as unfit for political life?
The only answer that has been given,
so far as England and Scotland is con-
cerned, and which the newspapers tell
us proceeds from the moral sense of the
nation, is that the divorce court mast
be the politicians grave. This answer
purpOrts TO be given on two distinct
grounds. One is that the conduct with
which the divorce court deals is so de-
PRAYED, so corrupt, so inhuman, so re-
voting To the holiness of the average
respectable man that the average
respectable men of whom the
nation is composed would be
unable to endure the idea of politician
they knew to be guilty of it. The
other is that the politician who is known
to be gully of it is conclusively shown
at the same time to be as unreliable in
his public character as he is depraved
in his private character So what is
presented to us as the national moral
sense has, as fact, spoken with two
notes.-the voice of righteoneSs and the
voice of mundane prudence.
We have heard the voice of righteous
deSS on ali sides; it has spoken in every
variety of tone-in the shocked tone, in
the indignant tone, in the Sorrowful
tone: and. strange TO say, it has, i'm
England and Scotland, proceeded with
equal vehemence from men of both po-
liticai parties. What is the true char
acter of this sudden ebullition of right
eouSneSS? How far is the feeling which
it represents genuine? Does it, on the
whole, represent some national face that
we may be proud of, or is it but fresh
illustration Of what Lord BeaconStield
said, that the most ridiculous of all
imaginable sights is the British public
in one Of its periodical fits of morality.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

this jewelled work. The design.
embroidered, are cut ont and AMI, '-ss
onto rich material. The new '.'i
cosy is made Of fluffy whit. sr.o,. .'4
with flannel and embroidered t-si
appropriate motto. Mucl NOR. d.
are the coseyS for slipping over
of hot cakes. They are round .@
and a trife larger than tho d.. --sT
are 10 cover. They are thi0.'v...I,' y
and covered with sof, silk d-.r-
in full rOsette al the tnr "
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

will occupy The boxes with which
the theater IS generously provided.
The orchestra and balconies will be
given no TO the neighbOring people with
whom Madame Patti Is an immense
favOrite.
Last year when Patti made mp her
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
CARRIECARELESS
TELLS ABOUT FADS THAT KEEP GIaS AWAKE
N LENTgN SEASON.

They Can't and They Won't Be as Secluded as
They ws7sa Year Agile Proper Order Of
The Day-How 70 Keep Men o. Tsn,eT Hooks.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
TWO MORAL QUESTIONS.
Folstoi on the Ethics of Wine-DrinkiaS
and of Tobacco Smoking.


People explain their use of stimulantS
and narcotics, such as brandy, wine,
heer. tobacco, haShiSh, opium, morphia,
ether. etc. by saying: 1T is pleasant;
every one drinks: it keeps up the splr-
it's" or. ITO drive away melancholy;
the habit is universal; everybody
smokes" etc. But it must be very
evident that the man who, placed
by circumstances, or his own acts IN
position which forces him TO choose be-
tween the infliction of hardship and
misery upon the family that is dear 10
him. on the one hand, and abstinence
from supplying stimulantS and mar
coticS on the other, chooses the former
alternative, is impeled to the choice
by something far more potent than the
desire to keep up his spirits or the
speculative consideration that every one
else does the same.
The real reason for the extensive use
of these Stimulants and narcotics IS,
that they stupefy and deaden the con
science. and conceal from ones self its
records.
A sober man Scruples to do that which
drunken man Will cACNuIo "AtHO"N
hesitation. People enjoy StimulantS
and narcotics either for the purpose OF
sitting remorse. after having performed
an action diSapproved OF by their con-
science, or else in order to induce a
state of mind in which they shall be
capable of doing something contrary to
the dictates Of their conscience, and 10
which the animal nature of man II i'm
polling him.
A sober man has conscientious Scru-
pies about visiting lewd women, steal
ing or committing murder. A drunken
man. on the contrary, is troubled with
no such Scruples. Hence it is that il a
person wishes to do something which
his conscience forbidS, he first Stupeiies
his faculties. The courage inspired by
drink is responsible for nine-tenths OF
the total number of crimes that stain
humanity.
OF all the women who fall, fully one
half yield to the temptation under the
influence Of alcohol, Nearly all the Wis
its of young men to diSorderly houses
take place when the faculties have been
blunted by intoxicating liquor. II is
well-known that alcohol deadens the
voice of conscience, and people deliber-
ately make use of it for this purpose.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15

1t will pay you to buy 'D''"
at this exceptional low price,
even if you don't Use 'n'''
until next winter
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-03-15
DECORATE THE PARLOR PIANO.

DAVID WECHsLER.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07

,,,ora roo,,,, o,d s+oon Much of the food
stored in the hoats had been snoiled nv
Xyettino and had to he abandoned From
tb;s no;n+ Arnold sent two Indian messep.
era,. 70 Canada ono to a friendly citizen
IA ona "a Cen SCHUYLER The first ba.
t.o,-oa liz +r,,s+ md de,;yared !. 1atter IN
tbe Rr;tieb authorities and the other failed
20 ro.ob Scbnyler
~ s;vtr r,,;1as fartbor +ba Karnobao
,,,o, fol1o,r,od and .hor ~ ,,,os racoss.rr 70
-. - 49,, - ~, LieshIa,ds.
- H. ~ M larr,;rer ,,Iaca hera ,ya e
-. -. IL -. FL 49,, ~ throo
snna1I nonds sbnrtened tbe distance some.
sinai po'' -. - s.'. .,,,Il \,
"n'' nv Th - -, So ho,r p had ~ travail
- -, 81 tbo nov, VOC ont
wiz go o $500, an noo,,r r1aoas ond
49,. ~ tt;aI,ats IN tbo ponds tbe men
snuaS III 80 bu 80 or roIos and
p'".;.e - 20 .hair .rr,n;,s opd
l"a..,a, =. 49,, LII ro,,as pat1yoap tbe
IN aU - IL r. H. nrr;od ~
ponIa ~ ~ ' - Ar,o,5 rav;a,,ad tba
l ...:A ~ osn .a,,,,d 100, Ioft ond
aiVu' .". - -, e. - II, IS,
plo.is , o III Tro,,np aott,o,,o,ts on tho
puooeu W ie:on -. 10 fs,.,,,,o fo,,o,ad
Snauuiei1 III 'on = ioa 49,. ~
mn M. % o ~. aIa;o ~. ia e., ba Iaft
Sleiee, Vne sieh 'o 5;.;n,, ''shod ~, ~,
W1 anu e II eNp ~ s;n.a,oa 81 ;1,,.
Deau rieer iot somI u' bmt ~ VI. ,h e Gal
hey iesaou .e. uu' ~, i,
VI oo.opei q ge' IN -
.ne nisny niie .ne st'o - rrha &c.,,
III "a Naitey ns' VIZ -, Co. IN fa,r
oVernoMea, riss ;th rrraat d;f,;orltv II a.
iiouis' Gnu ~ "s'' - IL l,otta, af,oat
everything W y,' sei 60 ~ oSa,aI -
once ihore ln .,' az - =, A. -
oolitera1eu oy one no, Gu in Ia ~,
SION seven ooase w. 80 ~ NV '''-0
loaas OIL pro'isiols ioso IL.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07
THURSDAY EVENING, MAY z. 1891

this house to you the gate of heaven
and when, in your old days, you put
on your spectacles to read the hymn or
the Ser pturo lesson, may you get prep
aration for that land where you shall
no more see through Il glass darkly.
May the warm sunshine of heaven thaw
the snow of your foreheadsi
Men in midllfe, do you know that
this is the place where you are going to
get your fatigues rested, and your sor-
rows appeased and your souls savedf
Do you know that at this altar your
sons and daughters will take upon
themselves the VOWS of the Christian,
and from this place you will carry out,
some of you, your precious deadl Be
tween this baptismal font and this com
munion table you will have some of
the tenderest of life's experiences. God
bless you, old and young and middle
aged, The money you have given to
this church today will be, | hope, the
best financial Investment you have ever
made.
Your worldly investments may de-
pend upon the whims Of the money
market, or the honesty of business as
sociates, but the money you have
given to the house of the Lord shall
yield you large percentage and de-
clare eternal dividends long after the
MONDAY sun shall have gone out like
a spark from smitten anvil and all
the stars are dead.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07

The palmiest day of the tableau enter
tainment has rather gone by. Sacred
and profane history, ancient and modern
customs have been faithfully worked for
varieties in tableau representation and
their freshness has pretty well departed.
An entertainment of pretty and pictu-
rescue scenes, UNMARRIED by action or
movement, is somewhat mild form of
amusement. For obvious reasons this
kind of entertainment has had a long
run of favor. Tableaux, represented by
good folks that they all know, are some
thing that the strictest church people
can look upon without feeling of sin,
and great deal Of money for good
causes has been realized in this way.
They flourish best in home soil and pre-
seated by home talent and beauty, and
not little have they owed to the good
natured pufs Of amiable editors and the
family pride which loves to see Sis on
the stage i'll a fancy costume, looking as
pretty as peachblow vase.-Springfead
Homestead.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07
Teachers of American.

Teachers of English are plentiful in
this day and generation, but teachers
of American are to be met with only at
rare intervals. In this city, however,
there are several of the latter who com
mand good prices for their services, and
who find ready employment at all
times. Foreigners who have been
taught English in the schools of their
native land find themselves completely
at sea on their arrival here, and many
of them who can afford it employ teach
ers to instruct them in learning the pc
culiar idioms employed by the AIneri-
cans. The locaisn especially they
find most perple1ing to master, and the
teacher must be well up on all the man
nerisms and slang expressions OF the
day The bishop of the Russian church
in this city has young lady employed
to teach him American, and he finds Il
a most necessary part of his education
San Francisco Call.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07

An American should always under
stand what is meant by breakfast in
London. He will probably take break
fast in his lodgings, or, if he lives In a
hotel, in the coffee room at fixed
charge. There are two distinct classes
of breakfast, the light and the sub
stantial, with prices to match. The
first is one cup of coffee, one boiled
egg and three slices of toast; the latter
is one small chop, one egg, penny
loaf of bread, a buttered muffin and
coffee. The principal dish of this lat
ter menu is varied in lodging houses
from day to day, the chop becoming
sausage on Tuesday, ham on Wednes-
day, fried sole on Thursday, and then
the lonely chop again, with the subse-
quent rotation kept up ad infinitum,
London Cor. Chicago Herald.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07

intrepid band. The THE MAINE WILDERNESS.
Americans marched toward the garrison
and cheered Justify, remaining under the
range of the guns while Arnold attempted
to communicate with the British leader
and brighten him into capitulation. Gen.
Montgomery, who had succeeded Schuyler,
was at Montreal seeking junction with
Arnold in order to storm Quebec.
The commander at Quebec refused to
"parley with rebels" and as he also re-
fused to venture out of his castle and fight
them in open plain Arnold reluctantly re-
tired His soldiers carried but five rounds
of ammunition per man, and sudden OUT
burst of salutes and rejoicings in the Brit
ish lines announced that heavy REINFORCE
ments under Gen. Carleton were at hand.
On Dec. l Arnold and Montgomery met
twenty miles above Quebec, and then fol-
lowed their daring but ill starred assault.
GEORGE l.. KILMER.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1891-05-07
PEDIGREE.

Young TRICEPs is years old; Is "a
hands high; weight l,030 lbs, Chestnut
color with plenty of bone and muscle,
can show fine trotting action; was sired
by TRICEPs, a horse standing Is hands
high, weight l $50, bright bay and fine
tr0tter. Showed three heats at Cambridge
in 2:3S, :36 and 2:34 without break.
Trotted a race at Hoosick Falls the fol-
lowing week over a new track and won in
straight heats, and logged down the
stretch. time 2:36. TRICEPS has five
co'ts thai can trot in $40 or better, all
from common mares. There is one in
Greenwich that can trot low down in the
30's.
Young TRICEPs' dam was Nellie Has
kins sired by young Ethan, he by old
Ethan; her dam by Darkey, the sire Of
old Highland Grey.
+. A. RUSH, Owner