davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
The Wrong Man.

Clubberly - My tailor came around
Yesterday and couldn't pay him. Sad.
| assure you.
Pupette-I know how that is, and
can sympathize with you, old man.
Clubberly - Don't sympathize with
me. Sympathize with the tailor
Clothier and Furnisher.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
A Boston Comparison,

"Aint they like each other?" said the
fond mother as she admiringly contem-
plated her twins.
Yes" said the Boston lady; ''they
are as like each other as two beans. ~
Cape Cod Item.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Railroad Rumbling.

"Can you tell me-" be asked, as he
entered an Office on Broad street the
other day, why the railroad should
discriminate SO heavily against dressed
meat over live stock?"
Certainly, sir. Dressed meat is dead.
isn't it,"
"Of course"
"Well, anything that can't kick Is
always bnlldozed by a railroad COM
pany.'-Texas Siftings.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Progress. In Medicine.

Gargoyle-Therc's been a great i'm
provcment in medicine lately. For in
stance, doctors don't bleed patients as
they used to.
Bloebumper-Dont they! Well, l
paid o doctors bill Of $500 only last
week.-Dctroit Free Press.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
A New Standard.

ITO think that Blodgctt, Of all men,
should have married plain girl"
''They say the new Mrs. B. has an
amiable disposition"
Evidently he selected his wife as he
would razor-for temper, not for
looks. Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
lie Had y Piece.

Mother-What in the world has be-
come Of the other half of that cake l
cut for supper?
Little Dick-You gave it to me.
"Nonsense! You asked if you could
have piece Of cake and said yes"
"ies'm. meant the piece that was
left over."-Good News
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
What II yyas Made Tor.

II can't see any sense in the line:
Time was made for slaves It's made
for men,"
slow sop
$50 they can have plenty to wait in
while their wives are putting on their
bonnets "-Philadelphia Times.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Fireslde Philosophy.

There is no misfortune without its
compensation.
Thus man is like log of green wood
on the fire-weeping on one side and
singing on the other.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
In WOMAN'S BEHALF.
WOMAN.

Glory TO her forever
Glory and loveliness,
TIL We from earth dissevcr,
Angel she Is 10 bless!
The last ere death defeats US,
To yield q helping hand;
The first that clasps and grects VI
In yonder morning land.
The Joys and hopes OF heaven
Her smiles and blessings give.
Full Of the loves that leayen
The lives Of pain we live.
shc shines in song and story.
And sti!l fair as osod,
She stands enrolled in glory,
Turning the clouds to gold!
Mother! What name Is dearer.
Woman. thou art divine!
All heaven thou bringest nearer!
My soul Is ever thine.
RUFUS J. Childress. in Good Housekeeping.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Gathering Information.

Lord Noodleby-And wheah do yaw
best people live in New York?
Maude-Our untitled nobs live along
Fifth avenue. We keep our piers on
the river front
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Anxiety Caused 1t.

Observation-Disclosures the matter?
Tramp-Nervous prostration.
Observation-Disclosures! That dis
ease is caused by ovcrwork or mental
anxiety.
Tramp-That's just it. I've had
nothing but work offered me since
struck the town, and I'm anxious for
fear I'll have to take it or leave
Judre.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
A Slight Oversight.

Young Myzer ia quito liberal with his newly
welded wife,
He supplies her with the lovelicst steam
printed cheques in blank.
The only little drawback to their happy mar
ried life
Is his failure to deposit any money In tho
bank.
E1,,e4r
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
pefiaCo~icsi Item.

Said an absent minded school.teacher:
Il hear quiet noise in the right hand
corner Of the room. know very well
who the guilty party is. but will not
mention his name. It is Tommy Jones"
Texas Siftings.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
On the Stubblc Field.

Chappie-I can't get the impression
out of my mind that I've forgotten
something.
Dumlcy-Not your flawsk?
Chappie-No. nor me loading tools
nor me compass. Here arc me cleaning
implements, shell extractor and me
cartwidge bag. Aw, have it now. ]
have left me gun at home! Deucedly
awkward, isn't it?-Jury.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03

Teacher-Piof. Newton is going to
give a lecture on the sun, and want
all of my pupils to be there.
Thomas Tardy-I don't think can go.
Miss Boyer.
Teachcr-Why not, Thomas?
Thomas Tardy = Cause my mother
won't let me go SO far away from home.
Golden Days.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Grease and Cash.

Hessman-Confound it! I've man.
aged to get several spots Of grease on
my overcoat.
Seedeigh-I was fortunate enough to
get several dollars on mine.-Jury.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Explained.

II wonder why that widow, Mrs. Hit
terby, paints the edges Of her eyelids
black"
I'm memory Of Hittcrby. It's q
mourning border just like ths: on her
stationery. "-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Puck.
precociOus,

''They say Mozart played on the
piano at the age of six"
That's nothing I've got little
girl only two years old who plays on
the piano every day."
"What does she play?"
DOLLS. "-IIarper's Bazar.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Ono or tho Other.

Seaside visitor-What magnificent
villa! II must have cost q fortune.
Driver-That's Smiths cottage.
Visitor-Ah, indeed! Smith. the soap
man, or Smith. the pill MANN. Y.
Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
Nothing to Fear.

Lady-Little boy, isn't that your
mother calling you?
Little Boy-Ycs'm.
"Why don't you answer her, then?"
Pops away. Good News
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
An Unfortunate Break

Il declare. l never thought" cried
Mrs. Lincolnpark, after her dinner was
over.
Never thought of what?' asked
Mr.. L.
"Why, placed Col. Jones and Mrs.
parkerton next each other at dinner,
and, now | think Of it, he was her first
husband!"-IIarper's Bazaar.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
A Sensible Pater Familias.

He-Havc you heard the news? Yes.
terday morning, Mary Dawson jumped
into her fathers carriage and eloped
with the coachman.
She What's her father done about
it?
He-uc has advertised: "Send back
the horses, and all will be forgiven
Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
ne Finishes Iii. Work.

Doctor" said Mrs Worrit, us II
really true that many people are buried
alive?"
None Oh my patients ever are," re-
pliel Dr. Graves.-Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
MISS LAURAINE MEAD.
PUPIL or TIE NEW ENGLAND CONSERVATORY
or MUSIC, BOSTON AND OF PROF. 7. y.
DAVIS, OF LEIPSIG c0NSERvA-


or MUSIC, BOSTON AND OF PROF. T. T.
DAVIS, or LEIPsIG c0NSERvA-
TORY or MUSIC.
The Stuttgart Method. Branches taught
Panoforte, organ, Guitar, Theory and Har-
mony.
RATES OF TUITION:
PIanofortc. private instruction. per term
70 esSons. $lOW.
Conservatory Glass System-Ciass Of two.
per term 20 lessons. two per week. each pu-
pill u 10. Class OF three. term of ~ lessons,
per week. each pupil $40.
Same rates Tor organ and Guitar
Students pursuing one OF tho ainyU
branches will enter class In harmony and
theory. one lesson per week. ~ lessons $i.Q-
Students taking private lessons two less 0ns
per week, receive the Course In Harmony
and Theory free.
PUPILS RECITALS.
Once each month. on Saturday afternoon.
pupils of the fist grades give recita and
Monday evenings. pupils in the higher
grades.
An invitation is extended to patrons to At.
tend the recitals.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
A Boys Chances Spoiled.

Farmers Boy-Father, why cannot l
rise in the world the same as other
men? For instance, why cannot
some day become secretary Of agricul-
ture?
Old Farmer-Too late. too late, my
son, you know to, much about farmin'.
Good News.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03

Passage Tickets 1t Reduced Rates
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-03
YOUNG WOMEN IN THE SOUTH.

-RuiusJ Childress, in Good Housekeeping.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-04-01

Surely" he soliloluized, there is nc
escape for this drunken braggart The
emperor cannot afford TO let his law be
trampled on by one So high in place.
Well have my plans turned out. Ha-
massar was an easier victim than had
hoped to find him knew not that
drugged wine would so quickly turn a
wise and modest man into a boasttul
fool. But enough of this. must go
home and rest
When Hamassar regained his senses
he looked about him in surprise. His
head ached, his face was pale and be-
meath his eyes dark shadows lay. Even
his handsome nose was redder than
should be the model for the world.
Where am r. he exclaimed. In his
mind was confused image of BAN
quet hall and dancing lights and strains
of merry music to which familiar faces
seemed to nod in time
In prison, sir" negro said. coming
to his couch.
in prison? What mean you, slave? |,
Hamassar, confined in cell? 1t cannot
be. dream"
He lay back upon the couch and slept
again
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

case Of our own Harriet Beecher Stoves
"Uncle Toms Cabin" Hall Caine is not
q writer of the Mrs. Stowe type. He will
hardly deal with his subject in anything like
the manner of the famous American author,
but if he treats it with the vigor manifested
in those two powerful and dramatic works
of his, ''The Bondman" and ''The Deems
ter" we may look for work that will have
some of the effect desired. If the author,
through this medium, attract attention to
the Russian Hebrew as he did to the in
habitants of The Isle of Man and Iceland in
the books named, and succeed in improving
their conditions, even in the slightest de-
gree, his object will be accomplished and
the people benefited will in many respects
have as much right to look upon him as
their deliverer, as the colored race does to
Mrs. Stowe.
1 suppose 1t is known that it is within
the past six months that his powerful
romance, ''The Scapegoat" was published
in the London Ners. The truthful and
sympathetic manner in which he treated
the Hebrew character in the East led to his
selection by the English representation Of
that race as the best exponent of the
question in which they were interested.
By sending him to Russia with the ground
work of stirring romance 1t was thought
he might endow it with sufficient local
color to create q current of practical inter-
est in the direction Of their prosecuted
counfrvmen
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
A GOOD DRINK OF TEA
Is a Luxury That Very Few Amer
leans Enjoy in Their Homes.
EVEN DELMONICO ISN'T A JUDGE
1t Is at Ceylon, Formosa and Annoy One
Gets the Genuine Stuff.
WHAT CONSUL BEDLOE HAS LEARNED
CORRESPONDENCE OF THE DISPATCH, =,

rCoRREsPoNpENcE OF THE DIsPATCH.1
Annoy, CHINA. Nov. H.-When left
Philadelphia, I thought was fair judge
of tea. I had imbibed both it and the
knowledge of it in large quantities from
George G. Boldt, John Chamberlin and
Deimonico. Now, after having visited
Ceylon, Formosa and the Annoy district, 1
find that I knew nothing, and the three
worthy gentlemen named, knew even less.
We Americans don't know the first prin-
ciples of making tea. The delicate leaf
should never touch metal. It should be
kept in paper, wood, glass or porcelain. To
make it, put small quantity in a porcelain
cup, fill the latter with boiling water, cover
it with porcelain saucer and let it stand
three minutes. Then if you desire to be an
epicure, drink only the upper layer of the
golden liquid, throw the rest away, rinse
the cup and begin drawing de nova Don't
use sugar any more than you would sweeten
Chambertin or pour molasses into Mumms
Extra Dry. Don't use milk! It ruins the
flavor of the tea and injures the stomach.
The cloudiness produced by adding milk to
tea arises from the action of the tannin
upon the casein, and is, chemically speak
ing, pure leather. An old maid who drinks
q dozen cups of this mixture day swallows
100 pairs of boots and q section of extra
long leather hose during her lonely life of
30 years.
The Tea Must Never Boil.
Above all things don't boil tea The heat
drives off the perfume, spoils the favor
and extracts the tannin, the astringent
principle. If the boiling be done in tin
or iron pot the tannin attacks the metal
and makes the liquid black. This fluid is
stand except in q tightly closed porcelain
pot Standing changes it from a delicious
wholesome beverage into an ill-tasting and
bitter liquor. Rather make it in small
quantities and make it often.
In summer when you want to cool off
quickly, sip the tea boiling hot with slice
of previously peeled lemon, or nicer still,
of orange, without the rind, floating in it
In winter especially when you have cold,
and require sudorifc, add a wineglassful
of arrack to it and drink it down as hot as
you can stand it. 1t will bring out pro-
fuse and healthful perspiration when punch
or hot scotch fails to thaw you out.
Beware of green tea !! It is an abomina-
tion and fraud. A Chinese coolie wouldn't
give it to his pig. He will give that patient
porker dead rats old boots and other offal
and such unconsidered trifes, but he draws
the line at green tea. In the first place it
Is simply the unripe leaf, and bears the
same relation to the real article that the
"little peach of Emerald hue does to
Delaware's delicious fruit in its richest |
ripeness. 1t has the same effect upon the |
stomach snd abdominal. nerves rs in the |
case of poor Johnny Jones and his sister |
Sue"
How Green Tea Gets Its Color.
The green tea of commerce derives Its |
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

the law. There are no parallel conditions
in Russia's case. She stands alone to-day as
q brutal and wholly barbarous Government
in the midst of cultured and civilized COM
muuitiea
Are there any palliating circumstances to
warrant o modification of this opinion? I
do not know of one. The Russians are an
intelligent, progressive people, who, in in
dIvidual cases, have shown exceptional
qualities in the arts and sciences and the
Emperor makes 1t appear as if he sanctioned
effort of the kind. But it seems to be more
or less ga bluff on his part. Neither he
nor the Government favors progression Of
the kind. War war! is the watchword.
To that end everything is sacrificed. Who
can say that country with q constant de.
sire to subjugate its neighbors is civilized?
In what country on the European conti-
nent would quiet, peaceable man like
Artist Joseph Pennell be restrained from
working? What idea of the defensive ar
rangements of nation may be gathered
from a sketch OF a church or village street?
In case of conflict between the great pow
ers it is hardly likely that either the
church of Kieff or the rude streets of Ber-
dichef will be the keystone or the line of
battle of a campaign Yet, for such mild,
peaceful employment, undertaken in q
spirit of artistic zeal and by which the
world is the gamer, Mr.. Pennell, whose
magnificent work in American books and
magazines is SO we'll known, was seized,
subjected to all sorts of indignities, without
going so far as personal violence, and in the
end "fred' out of the country altogether.
Some say Mr.. Pennell was very lucky.
So he was. If the intelligent Russian Off
cials had taken the notion, they might have
marched him into Siberia, instead Of out of
the country, and who would have been the
wiSer2
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
The Eruption AT Colima.

The eruption of the volcano of Colima,
Mexico, is proving so serious that the
Government has ordered the inhabitants of
the adjacent villages to move to places of
safety. Colima has not done much damage
in recent times, with the exception of
short period bout so years ago, when an
outbreak did tremendous injury to the
neighboring towns. In the meantime it
has always shown signs of suppressed ac-
ivity, at times assuming extremely
threatening appsaranees-and it has been
he general belief that sooner or later, 1t
ould repeat its performances of centuries
ago, when, as is evident from conditions
still existing in the vicinity, it destroyed
pretty much everything destroyable within
radius of 400 miles. Indeed, 1 re-
member magazine correspondents letter
of about IS years ago in which the writer
suggested safer locality for the villagers
at the mountain s base. He had visited the
crater in company with authorities on vol
canic matters, and the party became con-
vinced that within the near future Colima
would again vomit forth destruction -
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

which l am not
familiar. There
is always the pos
sibility that, rude
and unsatisfactory
as they may be,
we have in our
own country GUS
toms or methods
of procedure as
open to criticism
as any we find
abroad. But in
the case of Russia,
I think it safe to
freely pass upon
the usages there
in the name of
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

himself before b i Q
political career is
finished. He is the
youngest m e m b +.
Born in Mississippi
In 1868, James w.
Bailey was at q
years Of age an
electoral Large for
Cleveland, and the
following year
'1885-located d in
Texas, where he be-
gan the practice of
".thsn n
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

structing q
romance that
will set the
Russo Jewish
social situa-
tion before
the world in
its true light,
the English
H e b r e W 9
hope to gain
the attention
of civilization
t hr rough q
method which
has already
proven its
efficacy in the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
A Badly Needed New Jewel

The return to fashionable favor of the
emerald and turquoise, seems to indicate
that precious stones like new idess in cos
tuning have run the gamut of possibility
and are gradually coming back to first
forms In dress every conceivable design
and combination has been used and now
the old styles are coming into vogue again.
As to jewels, the opportunities have not
been SO vast, but, since all the different
precious stones have each had their day. as
far as fashion is concerned, it has become
necessary to fall back on some Of the old
"standby's" for change.
Perhaps the discovery Of a new stone in
the Nevada mining district to which the
name of ''Sarascite" has been given may re-
ieve the situation somewhat, by giving to
the ultra fashionables something, just at q
period when they need it most. The
hitherto unknown brilliant is described as
being of beautiful dark green color and
susceptible of high polish As it has not
been found in any great quantities as yet, it
is likely to be very costly. WHKIE
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

vigorously as it did in ancient times. II it
did the famous eruption of Vesuvius 1900
years ago was not any worse than this would
be. Can this be the eruption prophesied?
If it is let us hope that the unfortunate in
habitants will escape the fate of the people
of Herculaneum and Pompeii
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
They Know Each Other.

Rochester Union and Advertiser.1
The Gar and the Sultan may make II up
just now for purpose. But they will
watch each other like two thieves, all the
same.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

twelve-month he attended the Congressional
Convention in the district, and made so
stirring a speech at one stage of the pro-
ceedings, that almost to man, the dele
gates demanded his nomination in prefer
ence to any of the candidates SO far named.
He refused the honor for two reasons; he
had not been in the State year, and was
not yet old enough to be eligible to the
office.
Last year he went into the Democratic
convention against Judge Silas Hare, man
distinguished for his attainments, who was
serving his second term as Representative
for his State and who had resided in the
district for 40 years. Notwithstanding such
strong opposition, Bailey won, but SO hon.
orable was his canvass, that Judge Hare,
after his defeat, publicly acknowledged the
honorable methods of his opponent and
called upon his own personal friends to sup
port him
What Lady Somerset Has Discovered.
That very clever Englishwoman, Lady
Henry Somerset, who is at present travel
ing in this country, expresses sstonish-
ment, which must have previously occurred
to Americans, that the historical old vessel,
the Mayfower. was Of such tremendous
capacity. Lady Somerset judges by the
number of persons she has met recently
whose ancestors came over in the famous
old ship. II they can one and all prove
their claims, surely the Atlantic liners we
are wont to consider gigantic and altogether
without precedent, are really veritable
ferry-boats in comparison. with the sea craft
of a couple of hundred years ago
This and the passion for lionizing foreign
nobility, some of whom were never heard Of
before they came to this side of the water,
are, in Lady Somerset's opinion, the great
est of American fads. At the same time
she qualities her opinion and sets herself
right with us by the statement that in this
resrect we are no worse than her own peo-
pie. In England, she says, it has long been
the practice to adopt every species OF
as a craze, no matter what it
might be. But within few years tn fad
has to q great extent died out, and she
looks for the same result when Americans
realize their own co dition. Kind and SEN
sible words these, and from a woman re-
nowned for her good taste and judgment.
1t is to be hoped they will have the effect /
desired.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
EVENTS OF THE DAY.
One of the Brightest of the New Con-
gressmen Is the Youngest.
CAPACITY OF THE MAYFLOWER
Forthcoming Novel That Is Expected to
Start Reform in Russia
A THREATENING VOLCANO In MEXICO

WRITTEN FOR THE pIsrArcH.J
Texas sends to the present Congress .
Representative who is liable to distinguish
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

The Uncle Tom's-Cabin Idea.
In sending Hall Caine, the distinguished
novelist, to Russia, for the purpose of con-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20
Russia's Treatment Of Pennell.

do not care to attack too ardently the
customs or characteristics of people with
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-12-20

How Green Tea Gets Its Color.
The green tea of commerce derives Its