The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-04-04
AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE.
The Memorable Ride I Took in a
Paris Omnibus.

AS l think of it now, though it oc-
CURED six months ago. / grow for a
moment quite red with indignation and
righteous anger at the thought that Joe
should have caused me to be the laugh
ing stock and amusement of all that
crowd of grinning Frenchmen and
Frenchwomen.
This feeling soon disappears, how
ever, and the ludicrousness of the whole
situation comes over me. / can see the
puzzled conductor and the highly
amused countenances of the whole bus
full, and just lie back in my chair and
laugh until the tears roll down nv face.
1t is no more than q just compensa-
ton that should be able to laugh at it
now: for l am sure that at the time,
while others evidently thought the oc-
eurrence very funny l could not see
anything but that had been frightfully
outraged, and that others We're making
sport of me-all through Joe's forget
fulness, too; that was the hardest part
of it all.
I am not going to exaggerate or color
my account of what took place, a single
bit-it is not in the least necessary; and
though to some it may seem that | have
done so, want to state that such is not
at all the case; the following is simply
a literal rendering of funny expert
ence that Joe and | had in Paris bus
when we were over to see the 'eXposi-
ton"
We were on our wedding-trip. only
mention this as showing, l think, that
j. was all the more culpable to so com
pletely forget all about me; if we had
been married longer, do not think
that | should have taken the matter
nearly so much to heart Still, | sup
pose l ought to have remembered that
Joe was given to fits of deep abstrac-
ion; he is an artist, you know.
1t was a Porte Maillot omnibus, that
starts near the gate of the same name
and proceeds straight down the Champs
Elysees, that j. and l boarded one
lovely morning in June. We were in a
great hurry to get down into the city,
and as there only happened to be one
seat vacant downstairs, j. suggested
that 1 take it, and he would climb on
top. In Paris, the outside as well as
the inside of the conveyances is utilized
for carrying passengers; and very novel
and pleasant riding it is when the
weather is warm, as you canSsee so
much of the city from your elevated po-
sition.
Pretty soon the conductor came
around to collect the fares, and when
he asked for mine / told him in my
very best French that my husband, who
was upstairs, would pay it. When he
had finished his collections downstairs
he mounted zen haut," as the Fre.N.h
would say, but in few moments re-
turned to me saying he could find no
man on top who would acknowledge to
having wife downstairs whose fare it
was his duty to pay; he declared be had
asked everyone in turn.
Suddenly it came over me shat OF
course poor j. did not understaI4d what
che conductor had said to him, as a
thorough knowledge of the French
tongue was not one of his accomplish.
Hnents. / opened my purse and found a
sive-f frame piece, which l offered for my
fare, saying thought it possible that
my husband did not comprehend his de-
nand. Whether it was that the sight
of my five-franc piece appalled, the con-
ductor at the thought of having to make
change to that amount, or whether il
was the spirit of gallantry that they say
is inherent in every Frenchman's
breast, never knew; but he suddenly
turned on his heel, at the same time
saying, loud enough for everybody in
the bus to hear him:
Madame, you do not look like an
impostor If you say you have hus-
band upstairs, l bel4zve you, and will
find him ana eompeA him to pay your
fare; it is his duty. The idea of hus-
band deserving the little madame in
this wayl 1t is sl,amel Put away
your money, madame, will not have
II; it is the money of monsieur want"
And before could utter word of ex-
PLANTATION he had darted up the stairs at
the back of the bus.
Pretty soon everybody in the bus
was conscious of tussle going on on
these same stairs, and we could see the
conductor forcibly pulling along a most
irate little Frenchman, who was ges-
ticulating in the widest manner, at the
same time giving vent to his feelings In
the most expressive French. He de-
Glared he would have both the conduc-