Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-02

Nov. 15-Just got home from large
dinner, where | was expected to swap
81 worth of bon hOmme for twenty cents
worth of conSomme. am away ahead
/ did not have TO speak. Other great
men obliged, and was not called on.
arranged that ] should be inclndel in
the list of speakers as it win appear in
the morning in the papers and then
came away stealthily, conveying my
dinner concealed in such a way as to
elude observation. SO far on this season
| am ahead.
Bon homme. ......,................. soW
COnSOultnc, ctc.,................s... % 10
Balance ...................... so
Nov. 1G-As | sit here disrobing be
fore | retire | will write some more in
my diary. Ny mirror stiil tells me that
am strangely beautiful. Large, dark,
lustrous eyes, regarding each other pleas
antly across the bridge Of clear cut,
aquiline nose, and abundant eye winkers
or some changing shade fringe the
bright pink lids and anon kiss the mass
i've cheeks below. Above, like the long
stretch Of marble cemetery at Pere la
Chaise, slumber the tresses Of my late
hair. Once it was flowing, but now it
is fed. Thus far shalt thou come and
no farther, saith the broad plaza Of
bright and well Numbered scalp to the
soft ginger colored lambrequiu of some
what segregated hair. And yet am
popular and beloved. Tonight sang
song at dinner, 1t is not often / sing a
song at table, but 1 did this evening.
Some one asked me to do so. | escaped
while they were searching the building
for this unknown man who asked me 10
sing.
ut was one Of the most disagreeable
contretemps was ever at.
"a speech was made during the even
ing by aman named Simpson, sometimes
called the Sockless Cicero of the IN
broken Plains. He is plain man, with
an impediment in his syntax and mutton
tailow on his boots He spoke briefly,
lit the wrong end Of his cigar, seemed to
be thoroughly in earnest, and when the
loving cup came around to him he went
down into it like a hired man, rinsing
his bleached mustache, and coming up
joyously like mallard duck with a
dank and dripping bill
"He reminded me of a barber | once
sat under, who sang a rollicking song
and accompanied himself on the atom
izer.
ut was delightful dinner, presided
over by Mr.. Observation-Disclosures.
Song. ........................... g. 60
Dinner ..,........,............... ~ %
Napkin. ......................r....' ~
Balance. / Is
NOV. 49, am just home from
another dinner, at which | spoke. There
were others, of course, who spoke, bat
they were not into it. spoke feelingly
and interspersed my remarks with perSi-
fage. 1t was a good speech. Better
than the dinner. Something did not
agree with me- think it was the
shrimp salad. oughtn't to eat shrimp
salad, especially when desire the use Of
my dinner for any length of time, This
salad was not properly made. The col
liver oil was the work Of malarial cod
fish. The oalad was improperly dressed
also. its dress was low and vulgar.
We could not get along together
"But made good speech. Unfortu-
nately it will not be printed. It Isl rule
of the organization not to print remarks
made at its table. So the speech, as well
as the dinner, was complete loss.
Speech, valued SlB %
Dinner mot availablel.. %
Loss........................ SIS %
"Nov. 20--I am home again after tri-
umph. We bad several eminent men at
our banquet. The yentriloqujst, who
was to have been The life Of the party.