Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-01-26

More in sorrow than in anger-thel let
ter o.
Legal gentlemen while looking after
the law do not entirely forget the profits
The easiest way for a prisoner to es-
cape from Jail is by filing his objections
Are YOU u sutton for Miss Browns
hand? Yes; but l didn't. Didn't what!
Sutton.
WHY do you ask one thousand dollars
for that house? Because l want SIX nun
dred dollars.
The average wife hates to ask her nus
band for money, and in most cases he
hates to have her
Everybody will be willing to admit that
even the snow comes Il little higher than
usual this year.
Tine Lord knew what was best for mans
peace of mind when he faildd to put eyes
in the back OF his head.
The heroism that can wear old clothes
until able to buy new is said to be the
most lonely feeling on earth.
The world never knows what loud
PRAYERS a man can offer until he is called
upon to pray for the sins of his nelghoor.
An article on actress wardrobeS, says
astage dresses come high" They do IN
deed, but it is generally at the wrong end
We find in an obscure part of the Scrip
lures that Adam used to feel mortified
-, T., ra,liza6 tbat hn never had q
grandfather.
A poet saws that a baby is a new wave
on the ocean of life. 1t strikes us THAT q
fresh squall would express the idea bet
ter.
L am accused of possessing talent, sale
a conceited man. If you are ever trlet
you'll be acquitted, replied one who knew
him.
That civilization is advancing wit
rapid strides is shown by the fact tina
fewer mOustaches are now dyed than loG
merly.
The man who growls about his wife
cooking when at home, will cheerfuly ca
anything on the safe side of poison VINE
he is camping out.
What kind of Il big egg is that you hav
nut in the hen house? That is an ostrlc
egg. L put in there 50 that the hen
might follow the good example.
Hans, this report of yours is very III
satisfactory. | hope that / shall have
better one next month. That's rIght,papi
don't let your courage go down.
Goodwin-Hear about the terrible acc
dent on the New York and Buglevil
railroad Yesterday? Sands-NO, what WI
it? Goodwin-They paid Il dividend.
Cora-W why the pretty your
minister calls US the lambs of the fol
Dora-On account of the Sleeps eyes '
are always casting ut him. pres ume.
A man out west has been arrested
stealing coal, and now the authorities u
going TO make it warm for him-Just WI
the poor fellow wanted to do for himse
You NAV say what you please about !
switch being bani>hed from The pub
schools, but so long a. female teach
arc employed, the ''switch" will be f0a
there.
TRY one OF my cigars, saIu d 4eli
who ALWAYS smoked the cheapest he co
get mo, thanks, replied his friend;
had some with my corned beef at din
to d1V.
A solaeitous daughter. Old gentlen
lat head of stairs)-Ain't it time to &C
bed? Sally-Yesa father, dear, don't
IL of another mipqtez your health,
knoR. Is not robust.
She-RGery woman is more or 4G;
MEnd reade.. He-Do you think
could read rniRe5 She'd rather
Mamm1 Is "a little .Pak4cnlar as to
character of my reading
What? said the judge. Yop here ag'
Yes, your honor. When | think of
kind the pcison officials are aud how
the world il I come To- the conclu
chat il don't pay to be honest.
Mig. B.-What are you laughing alb
Lennie2 Mrs. b. was just thin
~hat a food you looked when you pro
ed To me. MIR. b. Gsighing)-Yes, u
was iust Us big u fool as j looked.