davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

Teacher-You must not come 10 school
any more, Tommy, until your mother
has recovered from the the smallpox.
Tommy-She won't give it to me.
"Why, how is that ?"
"She's my stepmother She never
gives me anything"
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

No woman with any sense Of self
respect should allow herself to sink into
a dowdy, but, whatever be her trials,
vexations or disappointments, she should
dress as we'll as her position will allow.
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

Shelves, Screens &c, &c-20 cents
DECORATIVE PAINTS ha painting Vases Tubs Pots
Tables Chairs &c.-15 and 20
GRANITE FLOOR PAINTS handsome shades quick
They scrubbing and dirt and beautiful and economical
ENAMEL FINISH shades gives hard smoo enamel urface to PIC
frames brackets and bica-brac of description
CARRIAGE TOP DRESSING original ustr old
dash-boards, pads satchels and all leather goods
WOOD STAINS Walnut Mahogany Cherry Oak and Ebony for floors and
furniture Can be applied by
KALSOMNE shades and ntsan economical ornamental and du
for bauifyng the walls and ceilings.
SALE BY
I'D. r. % w e ~ 9.
OBS ROCKVILLE. MARYLAND,
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

Would you marry an old man for his
money 2" asked Mildred. "Well, | de-
clare" exclaimed Laura, with startled
air, "you surely don't suppose anything
else would induce me TO marry him 2"
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

The man who invented 1.-THE English
crease" in trousers is quite well of
Are wc to understand that his fortune
is increasingly
Montgomery County sentinel., 1891-07-17

The censures nor the praises of man
need not move US. We report to head
quarters and subordinates' estimate need
be nothing to us.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A SHARP DODGE.
How Adam Foropaugh, tho Circus Man,
Onoo Avoided an Attachment.

How Adam ForopAush, tho Circus Nan,
Onoo Avoided an Attachment.
"The circus Is subject to a system of
blackmail, plumber and robbery en-
route that is unhoard of in any other
business" said an old-time circus man
to Pittsburgh Dispatch reporter. "It
requires the most diplomatic manage
ment, and after I'LL tho company must
submit to all sorts of extortion to es-
cape attachments. These are levied
evening performance, or upon a pole
down. AS the delay Of n trial, or even
hearing, would cost thousands Of dol
lars, there Is no other way than to sub
NIT This sort of robbery occurs in al
most every town where n circus goes.
The company may think 1t is getting
Off all right, when suddenly some acct
dent, some chance injury to prop erty,
or something of that kind, affords an
excuse for u levy. When I was with
Forepaugh soon found that tho ut
tachment racket was dreaded and
cursed more by tho veteran Snowman
than any other evil.
"One time wo were showing at SYRIA
cuse. A drunken countryman had
boon wandering around and fooling
with tho animals Ho finally up
preached Tip as the elephants were
lined up to leave, pulled flask Of
whisky from his pocket and tried to
pour 1t In Tips trunk. Tip resented
this invitation to drink, and in about
five seconds was wiping up the ground
with his tormentor. But for Dan Tay-
lor and others the man would have
been killed.
'tOld man Forepaugh took 1t NIL In.
He knew that the show would be de-
tanned and probably miss tho next date
If we didn't get off, so he told Dan to
throw the man In wagon and bring
him along with the show. We didn't
know whether he was dead or alive I'M
til our doctor called it n case of drunk.
But next morning, when the man had
sobered up, he had no more idea where
he was or how he came there than tho
man In the moon. Forepaugh sent for
him and told him In his choice vocabu-
larry OF adjcctivcs that he was q nico
man to hire out to the show and then
get drunk and fight with the elephants
the first night. You are discharged,
sir! You arc dischargcdr the old man
Numbered. and tho yellow sncalsed
away, utterly collapsed"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A LONELY BRIDAL TOUR.
Why tho Sights of Europe Failed to I'm.
prcss Il Melancholy Traveller.

Why tho Sights of Europe Failed to I'M
prcss II Melancholy Traveller.
Some years ago, while looking ut the
clock at Strasburg, said Chauncey De-
pew in his Baltimore lecture, noticed
q large party of American tourists MAX
ing the rounds of that celebrated an
cicnt city 1 was told by one of them
that while most of the visitors hugely
enjoyed the trip, there was, by way of
contrast one among them whom moth
ing wonderful in nature or art could
touch.
The landscape had no charms for
him; the Alps did not impress him; the
beauties OF Paris and Vienna did not
evoke his OBSTACLES. Nothing that he
saw had the slightest cffc ct of drawing
out the least expression OF admiration.
Weeks and weeks passed, and the rest
of the party were dumfoundcd at his
lack of appreciation of the sights which
met them on all sides.
Finally it was decided to send com
mittee of four, two gentlemen and two
ladies, to his room and inquire what it
was prevented his enjoyment of tho
trip.
"Old man." said one of the commit
tee, tell us what is the matt,r. If any
one il the party has displcascd you we
shall dismiss him, if any wrong has
| been done You we shall sec that it is
rc:nedicd l%t do tell us what the
trouble is, Tor we are trying hard tc
| please you"
"Wcll," said the unappreciativc tour
list, Il do not care to say anything
about my troablc. wanted to keep it
to myself, but as You have asked me
may as well ont with it. The mater is
just this: This is my wedding trip-the
first wedding trip ever maize and am
so blamed poor that l did not have
money enough to take my wife with
me"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
GRATIFIED CURIOSITY.
Tho Young Man Pressed tho Button and
Put Out the Lights.

Tho Young Man Pressed tho Button and
Put Out the Lights.
gentleman recently gavo n house
warming party, having just moved into
new dwelling. A large company was
invited, and the entire mansion was
thrown open to tho guests. The house
was modern in It's appointments to tho
last degree, even to being lighted by
electricity instead of gas.
One young man among the guests saw
much to arouse his curiosity and was on
tho alert for new discoveries.
A celebrated singer had just taken her
place Mt the piano. when this young
man, who was standing In the lower
hall near the parlor door, caught sight
of something that looked like q black
rubber button in the center of n small
marble disk. What could that be for2
He was so anxious to know that he
could not listen to tho 81 niger. says Lon
don Tid-Bits. The crowd was great, ard
he felt sure he could examine tho curl
osity without being noticed. He passed
his hands over 1t slyly, touched tho rub
Der or metal button with his fingers,
pressed 1t softly. and on the instant tho
parlors and hall wcrc in total darkness.
The song OF the soprano ended In q
little Shrek, an d tho air was full Of cx-
Carnations.
Pray keeppcrfectly quiet" the voice
OF the host was heard saying. "Wo will
have lights in moment"
Cropping his way through the crowd,
stepping on their toes, striking against
them and putting his outstretc he'd hands
into shrinking faces, the chagrined host
finally made his way into the hall, felt
along the wall until he touched the
electric button, pressed it and tho rooms
were again flooded with light.
The inquisitive young man hadn't
presence of mind enough to hold his
tongue.
''Oh, is that what hat thing is forp"
he said. II didn't know, or I-I-I-
wouldn't have touched it."
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
RAILROADS
N ! 9 : w HoriolksWestern R.R


SCHEDULE IN EFFECT AUGUST 80, 1891.
wEsTBoUND, LEAVE ROANOKE DAILY
G:55 u. III. for Bristol and intermediate stations
SOU q; M; ior hadiord, Pulaski Bristol; also for
Dlucncld, Pocahontns, Elkhorn, Clinch VAL
Icy Division and Louisville via Norton.
Pullman sleepcrs TO Memphis md New Or
leans and to Louisville via Norton.
Gl5 p. m. for Radford, Pulaski, Bristol. Con-
meets at Radford for Blucield and Poea-
hontas. Pullman slccpers to Memphis via
Chattanooga.
NORTH AND EAsTDOUND, LEAVE ROANOKE DAILY
G:'sO a. m. for Petersburg and Richmond
l%oO D. NJ Tor uagerstOwn. Pullman slccpcrs to
New York via Harrisburg and PHILADELPHIA
12:4o p m daily for Richmond and Norfolk Pull
man paror cur to Norfolk.
$50 y. nj. for Lynchhurg; no connection beyond.
5:25 p m. for SHENANDOAH; no connection beyond
11p p III. for Richmond and Norfolk Pullman
sleeper to Norfolk aud Lynchburg to Rich
mond.
11:2op M for liagerstown. Pullman sleepers to
Washington via Shenandoah Junction and to
New ork via Harrisburg.
Clinch Valley Division-Leavcs Blue1cld daily
100 u. III. for Norton, and 1:35 p. III. for Nor
ton, Louisville and points on l.. IL n. r. II.
via Norton.
North Carolina Division-Lcnve Pulaski daily
200 q. m. for Ivanhoc and 100 D. m for Ivan
hoe and Gossan and 500 Il. III. Except Sun
day. for Betty Baker.
For all additional Information apply at ticket
ONCE or TO w. Is. BEVILL,
General Passenger Agent. Roanoke, Va.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A Suspicious Character.

Officer. j. A. Vest. OF the railroad
police, arrested negro man yesterday
morning for trcsrassing on the railrcs d
and locked him Up a. police headquar-
ters. The negro refused to give his
name or tell anything of his history
The officers failed in toto TO elicit any
information whatever from him. He
acted very much like a crazy man, and
at the police court Yesterday was
brought before the mayor. His actions
indicated that his mind was radically
wrong. He looked suspicious and was
sent back to his cell. Later in thu day
nc told TIMES reporter that his name
was Abram Tape, and that he came
from near Lexington, in Rsckbriige
county.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
CHANGE OF OCCUPATION.
When Coupled with Prooooupation Does
Not Always Bring Good Results

When Coupled with Prooooupation Does
Not Always Bring Good Results.
The young man had been n groom Mt
the riding school, and had also been
employed at sale stable, says writer
In River and Driver. Still, the knowl-
edge that he had acquired at these
places did not serve him well now that
he was engaged as clerk In q grocery
store on Sixth avenue
Ono day q young lady camo into tho
store and asked the clerk if they had
any horseradish.
'Hossradish7 I should say we have, {"
exclaimed the young man. 1--WE prob
ably have the most remarkable boss
rndish In the Market" and he pulled
down bottle, covered with the dust of
ages, and rolled it along the counter.
"Obscrvc its gait" he continued, with
enthusiasm. "Therc's a hossradish
that can recommend. There's an A
No family hossradish. I can warrant
1t to work anywhere. It will drag o.
family carriage, on n heavy track. In
$40"
The young lady looked ut the clcrl,
with some establishment. She wanted
the horseradish, however, and vcnturcd
to ask if it was strong.
'Strong?" echoed the clerk; "why,
It's as strong as Il steam stump puller.
It's the strongest hossradish that ever
looked through n collar. You can take
1t right out Of your phacton, after
whirl around Central park, hitch it to
stoneboat and if it doesn't pull more
than locomotive I'll knock it in the
head. Fact is, it's heavy -tlraught
hossradish, with the swiftncss and en-
durancc of Il Salvatore
81 meant to ask" said the young
lady, somewhat confused, ''if it is
sharp-docs it bitc?"
"Bitc? No; it's gentle as a sucking
dove; wouldn't bite the smallest child.
1t seems kind O. sad like when it has to
take bite in it's mouth. Oh, no; IT.
wouldn't bite piece of molasscs candy.
And kick? You couldn't make that
hossradish kick if you tickled 1t with
straw" and the clerk punched the bot
tie in tho ribs as proof of it's excellent
disposition.
The young lady did not seem entirely
satisfied with the recommendation and
took the bottle up to examine it more
CLOSELY. nat rlSnt, Salu Inc al
fable young man; ''loolz it over care
fully. Examine it closely for ringbonc,
SPAWN, quarterback, hcavcs, tlumps,
muinps, dumps, grnmps, or anything
else under the shining sun. If you find
il is not as sound rs dollar, the boss
radish is yours without costing you n
gcd cent and with n nice set of silver
mounted harness thrown in. Shall
wrap It up?"
The young lady said she would not
take it along now, but might call later
with halter to lead it home,
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
BREVITIES.

]. W.Wommoldorff,,, of the Salem Roll
ing Mills, expects his family from Gin
cinnati to-day. Mr.. Wommeldorif will
occupy ono of tho rolling mill houses
until he can build.
The Vinton base ball team will play
ball here Thursday on the college
grounds at D. III. Tho homo team
has boon greatly strengthened by the
addition of the college boys, especially
Morgan and Lucas,
p. f. Woodbridge, of the Southern Ex-
press Company, who has been off on a
two weeks trip, has returned.
1t is reliably reported that the fur
nace goes into blast Immediately upon
President Strouses return. Mr.. Strouso
will return Friday or Saturday. and the
furnace will in all probability go into
blast on Monday morning. Miss Lilly
Strouse, daughter Of President Strouse,
will light the fire which starts the fur
mace.
l.. M. Smcad's new house on the
Boulevard Roanoke is fast assuming
shape. There arc also three now houses
being built on the Development C)m-
pany's land. The Baptist Urphanage is
also we'll under way.
Misses May and Helen Dever and
Miss Fanny Boswell arc visiting the
Misses Bloch on Development Hill.
w. r. Snyder, of Ocean Springs,
Miss, who has been visiting his sister,
Mrs. j. i. Bransford, has returned to
his Southern home.
Students are still daily arriving at
Roanoke College.
Mrs c. II. Bransford, who has been
visiting friends in Augusta county, has
returned home.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

An excited man rushed into livery
and sale stable on the South side near
Thirty-fourth street the other day and
hunted up tho proprietor. His hat was
gone, has coat was split up the back,
and he was covered with mud from
head to foot.
p" You said those horses you sold me
IN hour ago were not afraid of tire
steam roller" no exclaimed, choking
with wrath.
MY friend" replied the owner of the
stable, you are mistaken. l said they
didn't care anything for it. They don't.
They hate it. They always run like
the dickens whenever they see It..
Please stand to one side. You're in the
way Of this gentleman here that's try.
ing to drive out."-Chicago Tribune.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A Pleasant Reception.

The Epworth League of the Salem
Methodist Church rendered q reception
to the members Of the church Monday
night and an interesting programme
was rendered, consisting of solos,
choruses and recitations. At the con-
clusion OF the exercises an invitation
was extended to all to partake of re-
freshments, which wore served at tho
parsonage. The rest of the evening
was spent in social manner. Thirty
four new members were added to the
League.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
SAL /. E1N
ROANOKE COLLEGE
TO be Moved and New Build
ings Erected.
ROANOKE TIMES BUREAU,
HOTEL LUCEINE, SALEM, VA.


At meeting of the board of trustees
OF Roanoke College yesterday evening,
held in President Dreher's office, the
following resolutions were unanimously
adopted:
"Whereas, A tract OF seventy acres OF
land, eligibly and beautifully situated
on the south side of the Roanoke river,
is offered, with ample water rights in
cluded, as gift to the trustees of Ros-
noke College for site on which to erect
new buildings; and,
"Whereas, The present site OF about
twenty acres, situated only two squares
from Main street, and at the head of
College avenue, the principal business
been greatly enhanced in value by the
recent growth OF tho town, and is
likely in few years to become much
more valuable, thus insuring to the
college, from its sale, considerable
sum for endowment or building; and,
Whereas, 1t is necessary to the
growth and permanent success OF the
college, that it should have in the near
future better and larger accommoda-
tions than it's present buildings af-
ford, even the library building erected
in 1870 being already too small; there
fore, be it
"Resolved, That it is the sense of
the board of trustees that it is highly
desirable and important that the pro-
posed site should be accepted and new
buildings erected thereon as early as
practicable; but before taking final ac-
ton on question of so great impor-
lance, IL is deemed wise and proper to
ascertain the views of the friends of the
college, on whose cooperation the
success of the proposed move
ment depends.
Resolved, That the president of the
college be requested, therefore. to lay
this matter before the friends of the
institution in order to obtain an express
sion Of their views, and report the
same to meeting Of this board to be
called for that purpose
The meeting was we'll attended. Hon.
n. S. Trout, Of Roanoke, came UP in
time to drive over the proposed site in
company with DR.. Dreher and expressed
himself as we'll pleased. Letters from the
absent members were read and the Ques
ton was ,hotly discussed pro. and con.
The question in site is one that for
beauty and healthfulness could not be
surpassed in Virginia.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Irish LOVfc.

Railway Notwithstanding DO. al.
lowed In this room, sir. You'll have to
quit.
Mr.. McFinigan-I'm not smokin', sir.
Railway Oficial-But you have your
pipe In your mouth, sir.
Mr. McFinigan-Ycs. an I have me
tut In me boot, but I'm not wnllsin.-
Pittsburgh Press.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Like Most Noblemen.

Mrs live met so many titled
people abroad, bishop. One German
nobleman was very attentive to Maud
lie was baron of-of- What was he
baron of, my dear?
Maud-Ideas, mamma, lilso most
young noblcmcn.-Lifc.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
After tho Honeymoon.

Young Married Man-What would
you do, my dear, if were one of those
men who arc in bad humor when they
get up in the morning and use bad Ian
guage because the breakfast is cold?
Young IYifo-I would make it hot for
yOu-.Iudgc
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Coming on tho steamer.

Mile. Stcphanic-De vaire careful of
&c umbrellairc, Nanette.
Her Maid-Oui, ma'msellc.
Mile. ic-R-r-remcmbairc Zat
hat my costume for &c Arion summer
ball concealed in &c handle!-Oncc q
Week
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A Busincss Scheme.

First Callow Youth-Why don't you
announce that you are going to marry
IN heiress?
Second Callow Youth-It's hardly
time for me to be thinking of marry
ing yet, old fellow.
First Callow Youth-Yes, but look at
the tailor's bills you could run up on
the strength of your representations
sey's Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Took His Measure.

tramp called ut Cass avenue
house and asked for q drink. A doncs-
tic handed him a glass of water
That's bov'ragc to give dog" he
said angrily.
"Vcll, then, Wy don't you drlnl. itq+
snapped the girl.-Dctroit Free Press.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Pure Blood.

Mrs. Bondclipper-D what do
you think Is tho matter with me?
Doctor am inclined to think your
blood Is not pure. I'll have to give you
something to purify your blood.
Mrs. Dondclipper haughtily)-You
are probably not aware that I belong
to one of the old Dutch families Of Now
York.-Texas Siftinps.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
No Method In His nraan.oa.

Dc Mascus (reading)-Herc's queer
case. A Boston policeman arrested o
man for kissing his own vito on the
street
st. Agedore-I'm, no must havo been
Insane.
1.-THE policeman? Yes
mo, no. The man who Kissed his
own wife."-Light.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Tho Kontuckinn and Gay dili,.

"NVcll, colonel, have any new expert
enccs up in New Yoril?'
''Ycs. Tasted water"
'IIow'd you happen to do that?"
"Drank n mill, punch. Jury.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Where tho Claw. showed.

Amy-Jack Is such sensible, prao-
teal fellow. Do you know, think ]
would love him moro if he were foolish
occasionally, at least, in his loving.
kitty-Everybody but you thinks he
is, dcar.-Puck.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
A Fair Warning,

The Sweet Girl wish You wouldn't
go to the races with papa, George.
Her Devoted-Why not?
The Sweet Girl am afraid he Is not
n proper person for You to be associ-
ated with.-Munsey's Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Valid Grounds.

con what grounds do you claim n
pcnsion?"
If thcrc'd been war with Italy it
would have been just my luck to get q
ball in the lcg."-Judgc.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
why They Turned Him Out.

Il made a bad break Mt Temperance
meeting last night"
GLOW was ito"
"Why, I got so enthusiastic over the
subject that said felt too full for ut
tcrance."-Light
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

Ynwsby-God bless my SOUL Why
did you get that homely old guy of o
girl for typewriter?
Hawksby (meeklyeI'm married.
Frank Leslie's Illustrated Newspaper.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
a Wise Man.

"Ive made money on Wall street."
"How?"
ION tips from friends
"Really?"
Yep. Always epeculated the other
way."-Judgc.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

James e. Day, the veteran surveyor
of Roanoke county, was in the city yes
terday, and announced to his friends
that he would leave to-day for Texas on
short trip. Tho object Of his Journey
was suspected, and he was roundiy
charged with matrimonial intentions.
Whether this be fact or not. he did
not deny the accusation.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

Another invoice of those SIS 30 oak
bedroom suits, with b.vcl plate mirrors
and oxidized trimmings. just received
by Copper 81 Stone, No. ~ Salem ave.
nue. 8. e.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-09-16
STOLE A MILLION,

A PrIncely Thief Was Cashier Ed-
 ward Albertson-He Took Almost
 Everything From the Tacoma Fi-
 delity Trust Bank Except the
 Building-The Loss Hitherto Con.
 cealed.
 TACOMA, Sept. 15.-It has just come to light that the amount of securities which Edward Albertson, the absconding secre- tary, stole from the Fidelity Trust bank of this place was much greater than the bank officials have allowed the public to sup pose. It was stated by them, shortly after the robbery of August 24. that about 5000 cash was all the loss, some securi- ties which he had taken having been re- turned.
 It now transpires that the amount in securities which AIbertson carried away with him was $500, 900, besides SIG, 1000 in cash. He did not intend to realize upon the securities, but simply held them to in- duce compromise. Naturally enough the bank was only too glad to get back it's se curities, and sent to the rendezvous agreed upon signed agreement not to prosecute.
 The banks representative received the securities from one Chandler, Tacoma gambler, and presumably an accomplice of Albertson's. Realizing its narrow escape from utter ruin the bank, while resembling it's agreement not to prosecute Albertson, has managed to conceal until now the enormous deficit the cashiers escapade made in it's funds. The cashier is still at large. Some sensational developments are promised at the preliminary hearing in regard to R. B. Albertson, cousin of the cashier, who was abducted and arrested Thursday by detectives.