The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-12-10
souanr RErUoE IN rLIanr.

lite society, prohibited from a vulgar
exhibition of haste by running, was
therefore compelled to remain the
leading curiosity in street circus
The inconsistency of this required to
me. and had acted from impulse,
should have cut my sticks and bolted.
But this would have been gratuitous
fun tony escort; for, it Is undeniable
that there is nothing in nature so we'll
calculated to make the public grin as
the spectacle Of fat man on dead
run. =ass===s==z=4
Yet did conceive Of plan for re-
lief by losing my costly silk umbrella,
which was Christmas gift from
dear friend, who at the time could not
have foreseen the present narrowing
consequences.
And SO, just as was about to hear
the sixth inquiry why kept my UNI
brella dry at such deplorable sacrifice
to my person, sidled up to the gutter,
let the handle.slide through my fingers
and hurried on.
All. happy ideal A grim story of
Russian mothers escape from pursuing
wolves by throwing to them her tender
babe. flashed into my mind. True, my
sacrifice was mere umbrella; and the
scrambling pack of gamins in my rear
might have it and welcome. Yet, an
other instant, and the whole herd were
again after me in full cry. 'Say, mis-
ter! Hey, boss! You'se lost yer UNI
breller. Here It's. !" And the lost
article was flashed before me like
magician's wand to bar my progress.
keep it, sonny" replied, rather
petulantly, whereupon there was q
great uproar. -
.'Dinny Costigan!" screamed young
citizen. I'm in on dat dere umbrella.
found de half of it" Accordingly,
there ensued tremendous onslaught
on Dennis by the excited claimant.
Young Mr.. Costigan took to flight,
but to my disadvantage, he revolved
about my person, the claimant in hot
pursuit. foresaw the inevitable con-
sequences to myself when the decisive
grapple should occur, with my legs in
danger, of violent seizure, front land
rear And so reclaimed the umbrella,
tossed the assembled company some
silver and passed on.
! BY this time my silk tile was not the
object it ought to have been. Indeed,
my whole dripping person suggested an
oversaturated sponge. In view of my
perplexities, you will please to pardon
my confession of acute mental and
physical distress.
AT last, my sense of the improperly
of vulgar haste had to yield to the
exigencies of the moment | increased
my pace to a shuttle, and then TO kind
of trot, shedding mental anathemas at
every step
AT this, the mob gleefully pursued
me. The eldest of the Arabs encircled
my person as if l were the adjunct of a
merry go-round, and the Junior fnem-
bers of the tribe strayed across my
path, and l STUN bled over them. In
vain did I expostulate, and frantically
wave my crippled umbrella Their
blood was up, and l weakly sought
refuge in flight.
Down the street. ran, fairly snorting
from the violence of my exertions, the
Juveniles after me, yelling in chorus
selections from the popular operas,
such as Comrades and Where Did
You Get That Hat?'
At last as a car was sighted, a
policeman in rubber overcoat has
tened to my assistance-as Then sup
posed but subsequently learned that
1T was his benevolent purpose to re-
strain me, until he could communicate,
by telephone, with the various public
institutions wherein are confined per-
SONS of deranged intelle ct Karl
Trego, in brakes Magazine.