The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-09-16
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

pathy. Fanner-Snatch It out ; durn
such sympathy.
An article is going the rounds Of the
papers headed. "IIow to Choose a Wife"
When a young man falls in love, he
doesn't stop to ponder over rules. lie
shuts both eyes and grabs frantically in
the dark.
Temperance Orator : Ny friends, how
shall we stop this deyilish sale? Gold
berg (who has just dropped ln) Put
der brOberty in der vfes name, sue
oud an Instruction, ant seddle for fife
Der send, cash.
DiscOuraging: Featherly-Well.did
you deliver the note to the young lady =?
Messenger Boy-Yes, sir. Featherly
And what did she say? Boy-She
said, "0h. pshawl It's from Mr..
Featherly. y."-N. Y. Sun.
A Texas justice Of the peace, on
taking his seat, announced that he
would endeavor to do justice without
fear, favor, or affection. ''ln shOrt," "
he added emphatically, Il will never be
either partial or impartial"
Woman's Way: Miss Craftie-Yes,
its all arranged; Henry and | are to be
married next month. Widow Brown
(who had designs Of her own on Henry
Indeed How did you ever muster
up courage to ask him?
Triumphant Democracy: Guest lin
hoteI Waiter! Waiter lsternly)-
Well, what is il? Guest-This steak
is raw. ] ordered it well done. Wai-
ter (fercely)-The - you say
brains hlm with decanter and takes
next mans order.)
A Conscientious Child: Young MIN
ister-And what kind Of man will you
marry. Flossie, when you grow up /?
Sister Clara-Why don't you answer,
Flossie? FlOssie-I hardly know, sir.
| don't think it is right for me to think
Of marrying until we get sister Clara
off our hands.-N. J. Sun.
In Congressional Circles: Boston
Girl reading newspaper)-lIere's
queer bit Of grammar. Ohio Congress
man-What is it? Boston Girl "A
editor says, IF / had have
saw the man." Congressman laugh
ing heartily)-What an ignoramus
"Ilad saw" would have been far more
elegant.
Speeches to be Lived Down: "Oh,
Miss Brown, who Is that homely girl at
the piano?' THAT is my sister, Mr..
r gley." Il beg a thousand pardons !;
| might have known it from her great
likeness to you. ] mean-that is how
warm the weather is" gasped the un-
happy Ragley mopping his face franti-
cally.
Hard to Please: DR.. Bolus Cindig-
nantlyl-Man, do you know what you
have done? You sent my patient the
wrong prescription last night, and 1t
has killed him. Druggist "a calm
man, accustomed to abuse)-Vell, vat
vas der madder NIT you alretty? Last
weeg / send your odder batient der
righd prescription, und dot killed him.
How gan somepOdy blease sOOch aman?
Excessive Enthusiasm: Pretty
Schoolmistress-To me teaching IS a
holy calling. To sow the seeds of
knowledge and watch them as they de-
velop, is a pleasure greater than | can
tell. ] never weary Of my work, and
= Mr.. Smith (interrupting) Il am
sorry that you are so devoted to teach
ing, Miss Clara. ! had hoped some
day to-in fact | called tonight to ask
you-but ] dare not 90 on, after hear
ing you The SchoOlmistress Cen
couragingly)-You may go on, Mr..
Smith | am perhaps a little too enthus-
iastic at times.-N. Y. Sun.
Not Very Encouraging: Ceramic,
whar you gwine p The speaker was
a poor, puny little pickaninny, black as
the ace Of spades, almost bowed double
as she trudged YEARLY along under the
weight ola huge bundle Of sOiIed clothes
for the wash. Ceramic" an immense
body with sable visage, pouting lower
llp, and savage aspect, turned sharply
round and confronted the inquisitive
mite. "WharI / gwine? Whar Igwine {?
| amt gwine tell you whar | gwine.
You apays AKIN, 'Whar yer gwine %
| gwine whar / gwine-dat's whar /
gwine." 1t is needless to say that no
further information was elected, or in
fact desired.
The Handwriting on the Wall: One
day last summer | went into a lawyers
office. Iclimbed a fight Of dusty stairs
found the door and knocked hard.
There was no response. So ] said 10
myself "Come in" and entered. The
lawyer lay back in his big leather chair.
His feet were on the table. His head
hung over the back Of the chair. His
mouth was wide open; his eyes we're
shut. His hat had rolled under the
table. A newspaper had fallen from
his hand. He did not move when 1
said | had come to pay that bill. He
snored, gently, regularly, resolutely, like
one to whom snoring is not a duty but
a pleasure. Above the little iron safe,
and above the big green table, hung two
framed notices. Above the table 1t
said in severe letters of forblddlng black,
"This Is My Busy Day." and over the