The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1891-01-15
A Bewlldered Scotchman.

A Connecticut friend who recentlv
visited gentleman fond of practical
Jokes relates how Scotch friend Of
his was handled when he stopped at
his house. The Scotchman treated
with extreme hospitality; he was
helped to everything to excess; his
glass was never allowed for q minute
ostand empty, and the result of
such rotations was that "Sawney'
soon became more than "half seas
over and in this condition he was
conducted to his chamber, q lofty
Gothic apartment with bedstead
of mahogany, its four posts extend
ing com pletely to the ceiling of the
chamber. The bed, however, was
not more than two feet from the
floor, the better to enable the party
to get into it. The Scotchman, with
some assistance, was soon undressed
and had his body deposited on this
couch. All the rest ofthe party then
retired after bidding him goodnight
and removing the candles for fear of
accident.
When the door was closed the host
made his other companions ac-
quainted with the structure of the
bedsteaI, which he considered his
masterpiece, and scheme, by which
he expected to have "loads OF fun"
Upon touching a spring outside the
Il I0 l. Il
a pulley that it assembled slowly and
smoothly through the four posts I'M
til it came within two or three feet of
the ceiling.
The loud snoring of the Scotchman
was the signal for touching the spring
anc he was soon at the proper alti-
tude.
The servants has been instructed
how to act In a moment the house
was in an uproar; cries of "Firel fire!"
were heard in different directions. A
pile of shavings was set in a blaze
opposite the window where Sawney
slept. The landlords voice was con.
tinually heard exclaiming: "Good
heavens Save the poor Scotch gen
tleman if possible; the flames have
reached the room just under him."
At this moment he was heard to
fall and below out. Then a sudden
silence took place; every light was
extinguished and the whole house
seemed buried in the most profound
repose. The Scotchman's voice could
alone be heard roaring out for as
sistance.
At length, two ofthe men servants
in their shirts entered the room with
n candle just lit and yawning as if
just aroused from their first sleep.
They found Sawney sprawling upon
the floor
"Oh, my dear sir, what is the mat
ter with youw said one
"Matterl" eaid he, why isn't the
house on firc?"
"Not at all, sir"
"What was the reason of the cries
of fire, them"
bless you sir, you must have
been dreaming. There isn't so much
as n mouse stirring, and the master
and his whole family have been
asleep these three hours"
The Scotchman now gave up all
credit in the testimony of his own
senses.
II must ha' been dreaming, indeed,
and ha' hurt myself falling out of
bed ."
Hurt yourself, sirl not much, I
hope. The bed is SO low it doesn't
seem possible" for of course ere this
it had been made to descend to its
first level before the light had been
brought in.
The poor Scot was quite confound-
ed and quite ashamed at having dis
turbed the family, begged n thou
sand pardons, accompanied the serv-
ants to the door, closed it after them
and was once more left in the dark.
But the last act OF the pantomime
was not yet performed. The spring
had been Immediately touched upon
closing the door and the bed was
soon beyond the reach OF our guest.
He could be heard cropping about
and muttering frequent calculations
of astonishment.
He easily found the bed posts, but
vain was the endeavor he made to
get in the bed. He moved his hands
up and down, his leg was often lifted
by way of stepping in, but it always
the floor upon its de-
scent. He uttered exclama tions of
surprise, not loud but deep, for fear
of again disturbing the family. He
concluded himself to be in the grip of
some evil spirit.
When it was found by his silence
that he had given up the task as
hopeless and had disposed himself
upon one of the chairs, the bed was
allowed to slide down again and in
.he morning Sawney could not but
express his astonishment at not be-
ng able to find it in the dark.
Of course he has never told of the
rick that had been played on him,
'ut the story is enjoyed by a pretty
arge circle of practical jollers in the
'lclnlty of New London all the same.
Sam Slv