Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-03-19
THE OMNIBUS.
i settler-ouiclksand.

ant.
Haistoues should be classed az
shamroclls.
A boy can often make an earring
with "a whistle.
The more the girls pine for somo
young men the more spruce they be-
come.
She WHO gave the bride away''
He-.Nobody; she brought good fig
ure."
The real estate agent never comedies
| that there is such Il thing as ''slns OF
commission
/ Morning wraps were the invention
of the man who wakes up hotel guests
for the early train.
The average wife hates to ask her
husband for money, and in most cases
he hates to have her.
1t is no: wise to say everything you
know, but how can some people help
it if they say anything at all?
You never quite comprehend no"
mean other people are until you begin
to compare them with yourself.
The man who said "Alls fair in love
or war" is undoubtedly the man who
got the best of it in both cases.
The L gown is now cut with a "
neck and other alphabetical changes
will be made from time to time.
The man who insists that doctor
bills are robbery might modify his
language and refer to them as pillage.
He-"Your father doesn't object to
! L he,Ds Shn
no; only to the time OF your leaving"
$50 your wife has left you?" ''She
:, has" What were her last words
on leaving yoa?" lis my hat on
!. straight?"
i. 1t is said that Chinaman never
a goes crazy. There is no reason why
he should. Millinery bills arc UNI
:. known in the Flowery kingdom.
a OF old, the tailor made the man,
a But now his aid we summon
To work on more extensive plan
He also makes the woman!
What is more pathetic than to see
- the simple faith with which bald
headed man will buy an infallible hair
20 restorative from bald-headed BAR
IN Der?
A married mans hub, they say.
AS if it were joke,
Al And probably it is that way,
A wife's so like spoke!
ar The young man who knows enough
Is to leave early, bring candy for her
IN brother, and make love to her parents
nd will not find the course of true love so
IA very rough.
o. Teacher Suppose. Tommy. you
Sc were President of the United States.
'o- what would you do?' TOMMY
|" u, would not let any body wash my face
10 10 or comb my hair any more.'
A maid may love her own sex well,
DIS But ever since the world began,
av- Beyond hundred thousand girls
or She'd rather have single man.
rm "Yes, we've quarreled. think thi
parting from Amelia will kill inc" 81
the should think YOU would feel it.
are Feel it? Why, great Scott, it's tor
ons ture She has two hundred Thousand
u in her own right"
ISL Onicer-"Have you any means o
ini- support" Newly Arrived Immigran
lar 81 don't quite understand you.
'ion Officer" Have you any profession b.
which you can make livingP" N
A. I.-"No. sir I'm an artist"
, 90 Miss Decolette-'I learn from tn
.n,t papers, Mrs. Prim, that dress good
are going up" Mrs. Prim-"Th
good Lord be praised. allus did a.
;vos prove of the or-fashioned style
,oav havin' 'em come right clean up
ma the neck"
spr- From the amount OF airs that ms
puts on you'd think he owned II
township" remarked newcomer to
rather unproductive section OF Il
- country. Goodness me. no: he doesr
vi ~ own foot OF land anywhere ne
here. That what makes him so stu
up"
Shell understand there is a tail
in London who just looks at you ha
;, for a few moments and when 20
- 20" clothes come home they fit you p'
i; fectly." He-.'That is somewh
: different from my tailor. He looks
0' me hard for a few moments. but ia
...,,. to send the clothes"
efore "als- A'en w." 1' e"e
get tired of shopping" You ne'
"a cat seem to bring any thing home. Wher
ian r. the fascination in it. I'd like to know
Mrs. Watts-"Oh. like to look at
man new goods, you know. and to
IN tho what lovely things could get II
only married rich"
IN the In the hrst year OF wediocA Tue nuS'an'
when .ona ,.os o,a no
But he sometimes grows careless, ans