The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-22
THE ARIZONA KICKER.

! ne IN
THE RIGHT THNG.-We told Bill
ChudsO in these columns yer two
months ago that the climate Of this
locality would wear him out, and
strongly advised him to travel. He
thought he knew the town better than
we did, and the result was a hanging
last Friday night. Bill kept on drink
ing and fussing until he put a bullet
into Indian Mike. No doubt Mike
ought to have been shot long ago, but
the boys concluded that Bill Chudso
was getting too careless with his gun,
and he was invited to go out and be
hung.
We were early on the spot, of course,
while our contemporary V even
heard of the case until next day. We
expected Bill would be a little sore on
us, but he wasn't. He wanted to shake
hands with us before he was tied, and
during the fifteen minutes allowed him
on the head of the barrel he spoke in
the highest terms of us as a citizen and
as the editor of a great weekly paper.
He called direct attention to The
Kicker. declaring it worth five times
the subscription price 81 in advance,
and added that if he had needed the
good advice found in every issue he
would not have been standing where
l., 100 r., F,1E Dill +ol1rOJ 90 H,,OD+1-
that we were almost a mind to ask the
boys to spare him and let us try him
as an advertising solicitor. We re-
fected, however that the crowd had
been put to Il great deal Of trouble and
would probably be disappointed, and
therefore held u peace while Bill
was swung off. The very last thing
he did was to hand us his gun as an
equivalent to the cost of ten years
subscription to The Kicker for his
mother.
THAT'S No WAY.-Two or three
weeks ago we had an item to the effect
that the County Clerk of this county
was drinking so much tanglefoot that
public business was being sadly neg
lected. We meant it in all kindness,
and hoped he would take it that way,
but it seems that the iron struck home.
Instead of coming to this office and
talking the matter Over i'll a friendly
way, he banged our sanctum door open
last Monday and began blazing away
at us with an old revolver as long as a
rail and as noisy as a cannon. H shot
a hole in office clock, perforated a
State map of Nebraska, and knocked
the end off a horn Of plenty we had
hanging up for an Ornament. The rest
of his lead went wild.
We don't want to be captious about
these things, but we have feelings to
be hurt. After the blithe young man
had got through we rose up and sliced
the lobe of his left ear off as a souvenir
and then threw him into the street.
We were somewhat riled for a minute,
but when he broke down and cried we
went out and stuck the lobe in place
and made friends with him. His ear
will be as good as ever in a couple of
weeks, and we hope the matter will
prove a great moral lesson to him.
It's THE CLIMATE.-We are in receipt
of letters every week from parties in
the East asking about business, the
climate, chances, &c. There are some
good things about this country, and
we don't deny that there are some bad
ones. The better way is to come out
and personally investigate. AS far as
the climate is concerned we declare it
the best on earth. Our Own case is a
proof of what it can do. We arrived
in this town three years ago with one
lung gone, lame in both knees, dead
broke for cash, and having a cough on
us which made everybody think a
thunderstorm was coming up when
we let loose. Our eyes were so bad
we couldn' see a Digger Indian fifty