The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1891-02-28
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTs AND YARNS By FUNNY
LIEN OF THE PRESS.
Their Figures-An Impressive
warning-A Catastro2he-A Ma-
chiaveIian Despot, Etc, Etc.

chiaveIian Despot, Etc, Etc.
NEW FIGURES.
lack tell who What. Maud makes
quite figure in society.
Tom-Yes. When ! see her mt "a
party with her dude admirers she re-
minds me of a million.
Jack-!?!
Tom-She is one followed by half a
dozen nothings.- Baz"r.
An IMPRESSIVE WARMING.
Teacher-Thomas, I saw you laugh
Just now. What were you thinking
about.
Tommy was just thinking about
something.
Teacher-You have no business think
ing during school hours. Don't let it
occur again. Texas Siltings.
A CATASTROPHE.
Lord Runnymcde-Aw-Miss Twum
bull, | fawncy now you weject my suit
because you have no wank. That Is
vcrwy inconsistent for an American, you
know. | fawncied an American girl
would fawncy herself my equal, and tell
everybody my birth WAS mere accident,
you know.
Miss Trumbull-Oh no. Lord Runny-
medc, | wouldn't disparage your birth in
the least | don't think it was a mere
accident it was IA regular catastrophe.
Life.
A MACHIAvELIAN DEsPOT.
Hampton-Oh yes; my wife always
does whatever | want her to.
Chalkley-How is it that your wife
obeys her husband so implicitly and
mine doesn't!
Hampton-Well, I always urge my
wife to do what 1 disapprove OF.
CHARMING GIRL.
He Gust introduced -Perfectly char
ming night. L have seldom seen the
stars look so bright Are you fond OF
astronomy!
She-NO; l have never studiedit.
He-You dote on botany, 1 presume?
She-I never studied that, either.
He-Do you like geology!
She-I don't know anything about it.
He-Ah, You are all enthusiast OIL
one or more of the arts, no doubt
music, painting, sculpture, wood-carv-
ing, CT repousse work!
She-I don't know n thing about any
of them. I'm perfect ignOramus.
He-Angelic or aturei Will you be
my wife, New York Weekly.
SPOT on THE Sun.
81 say, old chap, you and are deuced
good friends, and our friendship would
be most satisfying were it not for one
thing"
And what 2ay that be, you chronic
grumbler!"
"Why, we borrow from each other so
persistently that we can never raise cent
between us."-LPuck.
"In every house, Miss Powelson, said
young Mr.. Haybenslaw, with some hest
tation, there is a spare room. 1t is kept
for the use of some honored guest. In
every heart, too'-and he laid his hand
impulsively on his own-''there is a spare
And We find one. too, in so many
heads!" she murmured.
Miss Powelson-Irene!" the young
man exclaimed, choking down a large
and expansive lump of rising signs, lin
my heart there is spare room sacredly
set apart for YOU"
"Only one, Mr.. Haybenslaw?" she
asked dreamily.
''Do not mock me, Irene Powelson! 1t
shall be whole suite, if you like. More
than that You shall have the entire
premises if you'll only say SO, and if that
isn't enough we'll tear down and build
bigger"
'This spare room-this suite of rooms,
Arthur" said the maiden, softly, .'that
you are speaking of-how-how are they
furnished"
SIN first class modern style, Irene"
replied the young man, with business
like ring in his voice. "Uncle Bullion
died last week"
"Say no more, Arthur" whispered the
lovely girl, as she pillowed her rich
blond head on the young mans heart and
listened to the wild thump! thump! that
rcsounded through its spare chambers,
"Ill take them.'-[Chicago Tribune.
CAUTIOUS INVESTOR.
81 can see profit on what have
bought so far" said an investor who had
spent the afternoon driving about the
country with real estate man, and who
had bought number of tracts Of good
land near a booming city; 'but what
could a man raise on that" They had
pulled up in front of piece of land so
stony that it looked as though it would