The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-10
BRIGHT BITS.

ROBERT REED-Chewing is a filthy habit.
Why, the pigs wouldn't chew tobacco.
Badboy Weed-No; l know that you and the
pigs don't but that's just where I differ from
you.-NeIO York Continent.
Mas. ScHoEFFENsrEDT-To-n paper tells
about minister who has married more than
1900 couples
Mr. Schoeffenstedt-I wonder if he ever stops
to think.-SomerUllie Journal.
AVERAGE WoMAN-What Not going to church
to-day?
Average Man-whats the use? Our preacher
is 30 nearsighted he cannot tell whether we're
there or not.-Nel0 York Weekly.
MILLIE--I don't mind marrying you, Clar-
ence, but hate the idea of giving up my $i5-a-
week job at the store.
Clarence-Then don't give it up. dearest I'll
give up mine. I'm getting only $40 Chicago
Tribune.
Mrs PoRKCHoP to art dealer)-How much
do you charge for that picture of the lake front.
with the ice house in the front?
Art Deaer-That Is a copperplate etching.
Mrs. Porkchop-Oh, pshawl Haven't you
any silverplate etchings!-Neto York Sun.
SIR" said one visitor to another at recent
swell wedding reception, whePe the walters wore
clothes OF the same cut as the guests, why do
"Excuss me, sir, '" said the other, but wanted
10 see whether you were waiter or guest -
Philddetphio Record.
IT Is TOLD that one day during the war a squad
Of confederates, wearing captured blue over
coats, rode up to a house in Tennessee and
greeted the owner with: well, old man. what
are you, reb or yank?" Puzzled by the blue
coats and gray pants, and not knowing TO which
army his visitors belonged, Old Caution an
swered: We'll, gentlemen. I'm nothin' and
very little of that. "-NetO Orleans NeU Delta.
Mrs. MoTHERHooD-Why is 1t have such a
time finding nurse girl for my chiIdrenH
Employment Agent--Wel you see, mum,
Some time ago lady had baby die, and she
n nj hq nv nat afr
dead she kept the baby's nurse right along at
the old wages, with nothing to do but walk in
the park pretending she's got the baby with
her. Since then can't get a nurse girl to go
into family where the baby looks healthy.
NeI0 York Weekly.
SPEAKING of people who mean we'll, they tell
OF a man down east who felt very bad when his
son left him to take up his residence in Boston.
The boy, seeing the old gentleman's grief, said:
Never mind father. you must come and see
me at the first opportunity" The father looked
at the son earnestly, and with voice husky
from emotion, replied: William, my boy, if
live till oie-and goodness knows whether
will or not-Tll see Boston before leave Bucks
port."-Lei1iSton Journal.
WoMAN's ideal Of man
Is mixture strangely queer;
And ever since the world began
She sought him far and near.
Him
You Yet
-NetO York Telegram.
THE following is vouched for as a fact A
Hibernian domestic asked leave of absence the
other day of her mistress to inject me brother
on the Cephelony." When Bridget returned.
the lady asked: did you find your brotherf''
And the girl replied: Fax | did. ma am, an
glad was to see him." Somewhat interested.
the employer asked: "What does he think of
doing here?" To which Bridget replied well,
ma am, he's wakey chap an niver was
strong at all, so he do be thinkin he'll 60 on
the perlice. Boston Commercial Bulletin.