Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-06-27
MpSWAT,S APPLES.
He Tries His Hand at Buying Them, blu
Alast

deeply on the subject, sis utterly worth
less. 1t looks nice enough, but it is
wooden, tough and tasteless. Iwouldn' t
give one respectable crabapple fora whole
orchard of Ben Davises."
@I'n be careful" promised Mrs. Nc
Swat, and her husband went away.
When he returned in the afternoon she
reported that she had found some very
nice apples at the grocer's.
"What kind are they?' he asked.
''The grocer didn't know, but he said
they were the best in the market"
did you ask him if they were Ben
Daxises?"
SWhy, no. 1 couldn't think of the
name. But was particular to ask him
ifthey were good"
Let me see them"
The apples were produced.
Just as l expected, Lobelia," he.said,
as soon as he saw them. There are
more Ben Davises in the market now
than any other kind, and they've-worked
q lot of 'em off on you. Hew manyhave
you got here?'
''Only half busheI"
OulN q Hall DuSutl. Dix your Ce6Ll
IN that one, madam
1T doesn't seem very good, that's a
fact" admitted Mrs. McSwat after tast-
ing it.
They'll have to go back. That's all
there is about it."
Il can't send them back, Billiger.
didn't take them on trial"
Then empty them in the alley"
Il shall not do that either. They will
cook all right"
Then keep them by themselves. lam
going to the market myself, Mrs. Nc
Swat, and I'll see if anybody puts a lot
Of cork apples off on me, by jocksr"
\ few minutes later Mr.. McSwat, with
u basket on his arm, entered grocery
store few blocks away.
Have You any good apples" he in
quired
I'VE have, sir" promptly answered
the grocer.
What kind are they?"
Missouri redstreaks."
"Where are they?'
''In this barrel"
''They look like the Ben Davis"
81 bought them for Missouri red
streaks. They are all selected apples.
There isn't bad one in the lot"
''Fd like TO taste one"
1--WE don't allow that. Apples are
apples now. They're worth about five
cents apiece"
GIVE me half a peck"
''That1l be fifty cents"
"An right"
The apples were put IN a paper sack,
ALcSwat went home.
In the privacy of his own home Mr..
McSwat proceeded shortly afterward to
open the sack of apples.
Don't get them mixed, Lobelia." he
said magisterially. These are Missouri
redstreahs.
I can't see any difference, Bilhger.
They both look like Ben Davis apples"
That's all you know about apples"
he retorted Cast your eye on this one.
Ever see a nicer specimen"
He took bite of it, threw the apple
under the table and tried another.
IF these are Missouri redstreaks." he
said, as the second one followed the first
ard struck the floor somewhat harder,
81 don't want any more Of them"
''Billiger," announced Mrs. McSwat,
who had been making some investiga-
tons on her own account, there isn't a
particle of difference between these and
the apples l got this morning, Were
you careful to ask the grocer whether
they were Benz
lyon think you're smart, don't you?
"You don't let any grocer work off
lot of cork apples on you, by iocks?"
Il reckon they'll cook. won't they?" he
retorted, Same as the others"
Yes, but they'll have to be kept sep
arate, you know" rejoined Mrs. Nc
Swat sweetly. Il don't think they are
quite as good as"-
Mr.. McSwat arose in his wrath. He
emptied those two sacks of apples into
the basket, carried the gorgeous fruit
out to the alley, poured it into the slop
barrel, and made his way by devious
route to a grocery store on another
| block
Got any apples?'
Yes"
What ldndT'
Missouri
Missouri be hangedr' bawled Mr.. Nc
| Swat, with blood in his eye
Yes, sir" answered the frightened
| clerk
Look here, young mani" demanded
NJ. McSwat. Have you got any gen.
uine Missouri apples?"
Yves, sYf.s
What do You call them
Some of ems pippins and some of
ems redstreaks and some hain't got any
name. They're just apples, you know. 3"
What do you call your best Missouri
apples? Your very best, recollect.'
Our best Missouri apples, sir, are
called the Ben no''