The critic., 1891-02-20

man would do pretty poor fishing II he
used bOok-worm for -BiRghdmt0n Re
Tublic0R.
As the world goes now, the man who losos
his grippe Is rot wholly lOst.-NeO orleans
Picoyune.
Every heart knoweth its own bitterness.
Many n man who looks happy IL wearing u
shirt his wife made.-Biaghdn'tOn Republican.
Some men think they know everything
until they get home late Mt night and their
wives ask them where they have BEEN
IOnkt,S Stdtamda.
1t II hard for the unprcjudiced observer to
tell which talks the loudest, party OF men
playing sancho pedro or party OF young
women playing whist.-SomerciHe Journal.
Help man out of hole once, and he may for.
get You when he IL ont, but he will not fail to
call on You the next time he falls in.-Atchisoa
GLOBE.
"Why, You poor malarial mortal, you!
thought you told me your average healtllwas
goodi" ,'-'t,-
$50 did. run to chis one day and fever
the next. The average Is normal. Muasey's
Utekly.
~ will do the best ] know" was the answer
Laurel bride recently gave the minister when
asked II she woutd "lovc, honor and obeyn her
husband. iladelphid Record.
Awcathy man was asked not long ago to
subscribe 10 n worthy charity. ~ should like
10 contributo,n said he, "but have $S0000O In
the hank not earning cent, aud really can't
afford it, B0st0R Ty0geiier.
maggie, believe II 1t wasn't for my hate.
ful money Julian would have proposed long
ago Don't you think SOY"
"Yes-to mc."-LJe.
shc-Why didn't you congratulate him Just
hGE ei SSns You Eco &C. pC eoadni eonscenoa
congratulate iiaines on marrying any girl that
would have hlm.-LUe
To Suit Her Husband. Young Housckesper
10 butcher)-You may send a nice piece OF
roast hecf.
Butcher-Yes, ma'am.
Young ilousekeeper- And have It very rare,
please; my husband prefers 1t that way,-Har-
pt''S Bdsar.
"Why do you call your wife 'Umbrellaf' A"
"Bccausc the first time ran against her she
took my eye."--MW York journal.
She-lm awfully homey. And you think
He-I believe that what you think abo1t 1t
| II true. What you think about it-nOt what
| you say abont it.--LJe.
When the friends of u young girl who can re.
| cite the "Curfew" and like pieces in a hair
| grazing" way advise her to go on the stage,
| the devil lust stands around ana feels happy
| NtU Fork Htrdid.
She--Oh, yes; the count Il proud Of his fam
| lily tree, and Justly so, ! think
He Uoalousl-Iiis family trecS ala not
| suppose he even owned trunk. ddldadpOklS
| JONTHdi.
There are three things that heat drum for
| nolse--Onc Is u small boy ami the other twOars
drumstlcks E2n,ird GdEette.
II II said that only one New York belle kept
| her place In sOclety after making q successful
| debut ~ an author, The fact that Gotham 50.
| cloty seems consplcuously innocent OF brains
| In its composition, and TO he above suspicion
| IN the matter, raises the interesting question:
Docs society cut brains, or do brains Ignore 30,
cietyl- baltimore american.
Young Lady--Did you make an excuse for
me, Mary, when Mr., Jones calledi
Hired Girl-l did, Miss.
Young Lady-What did you slyg
Hired Grill said yOn were In bed with a
tOOthache.
Young Iady-Mercyl And he knows every
tooth In my head IL false.- Cdpe COd Item.
"lIere lies the body OF Mary Am,
Asleep In the boaom of Abrahlm
II may be pleasant for Mary Ann,
But it's pretty tough on Abraham"
-Eplalh Ii Country Ohuyehyard