The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1891-04-01
HOW TO couRI a WIFE.
1t Is Not the Same Thing Counting q
Maid.

Maid.
Pohlhemus Diltz set his lips firmly
together, buttoned his coat and started for
home.
at was as much my fault as hers" he
muttered, that when l went home the
other day with the idea OF counting my
wife didn't seem TO succeed. / ought to
have known better than to bother her
when she WAS picking the pin-feathers off
an old hen and Bridget was taking an
afternoon off, l won't make q blunder
like that again."
About half an hour afterward Mr.. Dlltz
entered the family mansion. He found
Mrs. Diltz in the sitting room. Merely
remarking that it was a chilly day he
threw a package carelessly into the fire
that burned brightly in the CRATE.
"What is that Polhemus?" inquired
Mrs. Diltz. somewhat sharply.
Nothing but my pipe and cigar case, )"
he replied with yawn. "Pve sworn off
from smoking"
Mrs. Ditz locked pleased, but said moth
ing.
ct will save M at least 500 year,
Mary Jane" observed Poihemus with an
other yawn, as he walked aimlessiv about
the room with his hands in his pockets,
land the habits nuisance anyhow"
at certainly is" assented Mrs. Diltz,
81 IN glad you've outfit you'll only stay
quit"
Mr.. Diliz continued his aimless walk
about the room. Presently he brought up
in front OF a small closet that he had been
in the habit of hanging his smoking cap
and smoking jacket III. He opened it,
took those garments out, and inspected
them.
While / am about it, he said, 'I'll
make clean JOB OF it. I'll harg these
things in the wood-shed and the next
tramp that comes along can have them.
You can use this closet for ANYTHING you
like. Seems to me" continued Mr.. Diltz,
resuming his nonchalant walk about tho
room and extending his stroll into the
room adjoining, I'VE don't have more than
about half enough closets in this house.
If / were building a house for human be-
ings to live in I'd put in fifty of 'em. Now,
here's place under this stairway where 1
could have good large closet made. 1
suppose you'd object to it, though"
"No, l wouldn't" responded Mrs Diltz,
warmly. 1T would just suit me, Pol
hemus."
"Well, I'll have it done" And Pol
hemus kept on yawning and strolling leis-
! urely through the rooms.
lncfe are nan Il uOLpn OlDcI places
ventured his wife, somewhat timidly,
where should like to have closets built
or shelves put up. while you're about It. +"
"All right. You can have all you want.
| Mrs. Diltz went behind a door and
Rugged herself. Mr.. Diltz continued to
walk about unconcernedly.
"What-what will you like for dinner
this evening, Polhemus2"
Anything, Mary Jane-anything. ]
don't know but I'd like some hot biscuits.
! Only"
/ "Only what?"
Bridget doesn't know how to make
good biscuit
"Why, Polhemus! Do you like MY bis
cults better than Bridget's?"
81 never eat anybody's biscuits but
| yours if can help it,"
''Oh. Polhemus!"
Mrs. DitZ came nearer TO her husband.
| For the first time in eleven years she
threw her arms about his neck-but no.
body has any business to be intruding
! here. Please retire.
1T isn't such laundering hard job,
even for a married rhinOceros of eleven
| years standing, to court his wife If he only
knows how to 90 at it right" said Mr..
Diltz TO himself as he went about the
house the same evening at a late hour
locking UP things for the night.