The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.


Homson-I can't sec why You find It so hard
Dcdway--I don't; / find it hard to dodge
them!-4uuRSey.
First Traveler-Are you n married man, sirs
Second Travecr--No, I'm nm instance OF the
survival OF the httest.-Kdte Fields WASH
igtoa.
~ caught a kiss from Ethel Harkns last
night" said Chappic.
"llOw did that happenf"
"She threw it to her fance. Well, you
know how woman throws. ! stood right be-
hind hcr."-Ne,o York Sun.
Agent of Benevolent Society-The people in
that tenement-house on Kay street arc wretch
rhFsy sy as's Si Se how do you
know they are very poorf
Agent-I stumbled over nine dogs on their
stairway Chicago Tribune.
smarty-Madame, excuse me, but guess
You dropped this hustle. tI
Mrs. Dignity-You insolent man. How dare
you?
smarty--Ar right; as long as you can get
your back up without 1t, it's the same to me-
Brooklyn Eagle.
my wife borrows lots of trouble"
"IIow strange that isl"
"Ycs; particularly when she IL so successful
making It,"
First-I want to tell you abont funny thing
my hoy said to-day.
Second--I will, II you will let me tell You six
funny things my six boys got OF last week.
First--u -um-ah-ohi Say, let's go get u beer
and talk about the silver question: -IHdtdnap0-
Ills journal.
The Billyile Bdnner publishes the following
item:
Major Jones WAS married week ago last
Wednesday, and in now trying to get divorce.
lie says II II poor woman that can't support
one man.
~ suppose it's all profit in the drug bnsi-
"All pro1tY Do You suppose we get Ak
lures and showcases for nothingf Paiiadet-
phia Times.
The following extraordinary advertisement
appeared recently In Weat Coast paper. lte
good faith there Is no doubling, aud therein
| lies the fun;
II want to let my furnished house shootable
| for legations or any other man. And II II does
| not shoot the legation, can shoot himself else.
| Herald.
Wickwre- Nudge, II Is n shame for yon 10
| be letting your days slip by as you do Time
10 money, you know.
Mudgc--It isn't much money when II takes
| three months 10 amount to quartet Indidl'
|
| There are people who want religion from nc
| higher motive than topper wantE his dram-tO
| make them feel good.
| What pleasant world this would be Tor ~ II
| II were not for the faults OF other people.
| There are good many people 10 whom rn
| ligion docs not mean anything that can be ex
| pressed in money, and there arc some others tt
| whom II does not mean anything else.
| Whenever you see u Christian pOntlng i
means that he Is still In his spiritual baby
| clothes
ono reason why people like the devil IL bo
cause he always seems willing to let them bay'
| their own way.
one reason why we do not have rsylyala, Il
| because 80 many people are walking ar0unt
with the Lords money In their pockets Rd"'s
| h0rn
Her Toe Hing-A Novel Love Ditty.
This ring that closely did embrace
Her slender Toe in wltchlng grace,
10 me is still OF greater worth
Than all the diamonds OF the earth;
| For on hor 1.-THE and dainty toe
II felt tho blood that hot did glow.
l With love for me, tho passion wild,
OF that yolnptRous tropic chilhi ~
Thrilled with the pressure, warm and sweet
! Of thOee fair, heart rt-bcwildering fect;
| Quivefsd with kisses, sweet ana warm,
Gf that cen more than houri's form;
Drank all the sweetneee, perfume rare,
Other fair feet, past al compare,
Por which more precious 70 my heart
--Msc York Gllysr.