davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-03

NOTICE.
All bills against the British bark CITY OF
TANJORE must be presented at our office be-
fore 12 N. THIS DAY or payment will be de-
barred.
PATERSON, DOWNING & CO.,
Consignees
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16
He Never Got Drunk.

One of The group Of old.timers told
story the other day, of the "early set
Element" II disremember the name
oftbe man who made the Speech" said
he "but it was in the court room and in
defense Of a man charged with drunk
enncss, why, gentlemen of the
jury said he, "a thing that Is habit.
ual is certainly different from thing
that happens sometimes. Now, if !
get drunk sometimes, 1t does not sig.
Nifty that | am in the habit of getting
drunk. Why, the most distinguished
lawyer in the Territory of Washing.
ton gets drunk sometimes, but he is
not In the habit of getting drunk,
There is big difference Just then
an old lawyer, over in the other end
Of the court room arose. and looking
squareIy at the man who was plead.
ing, said +: You are mistaken sir
decidedly mistaken. | get a little
mellow occasionally, but never &c,
drunk Seattle Journal,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

"Poor old Dushforth fell down and
broke the trestle of his nose" Don't
you mean the bridgef" "You might
call It bridge, but as no water pass.
es under it l thought the other word
better. indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

A Head Line.-He-'"Whenever
have a cold It Is invariably a cold in
the head" She-"Exactly. Colds
always fly to the weakest part of one s
body, you know" Sudden collapse
of the subject. Comic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Every man who does not labor and
lay up q fortune may cause absolute
suffering to his daughters future hus-
band. d.-Elmira Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Why is it said that the doctor pays
visits, when everyone knows that it
is the visits which pay the doctor p
Baltimore American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Father-"My dear, this seems like
a strange marriage. He Is but ls
years old and you are 2s. When he
is 40 you will be 50." Daughter
"No, indeed. I'll still be 2S."-New
York Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

However other people may look
down upon it, the chimney sweeps
business just scots him.-Binghamton
Republican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

When the baby comes, the first
thing the fond father does is TO give
il weigh. After a few weeks he
feels sometimes as if he would like to
give it away, but he never dares say
so to his wife.-Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

The difference between an editor
and his wife is that his wife sets
things to rights, while he writes
things to set.-Yonkers Statesmen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Philosophers have noticed that
when man makes up his mind that
he has to practice economy he general
ly tries to begin with his wife's ex-
penses.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

That promising young man is still
in great demand among his creditors.
Baltimore American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

A pigs idea of a parlor probably is
that it has big mud puddle in the
centre of it.-Ram's Horn.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

It is useless to tell pretty girl to
reflect. Her mirror does that with
entire satisfaction. Washington Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

snodgrass-A man who buys lot
terry tickets is necessarily selfish
man. Snively-How do you make
that out? Snodgrass-He's always
looking out for number won.-Topic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

The hotter people feel toward each
other the cooler they act.-Atchison
Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

A bicycle rider is not we'll off when
he has taken header to get off,
New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

The course of true love may never
run smooth, but that fact doesn't pre-
vent the lovers from striking gate
now and then.-Binghamton Leader
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

The gambler who follows his ante
is often obliged to hunt up his uncle.
Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

always think before you speak.
ut wouldn't do" replied Willie Wish
ington. my friends would think
am deaf and dumb. Washington
Ctor
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

In these days of political assess
ment even the oyster is beginning to
shell out.-Ram's Horn.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

A man is blind drunk when he has
to be carried home on SHUTTER
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16
S p Z CT &c S .
A POPULAR FAMILY.

without any teacher; you came TO the rescue
when Miss Iafarge deserted her Delsarte class
90 suddenly, and ce rtainly we are all improv-
lng In grace under your instruction; heard
you telling Tommy Eames last evening how
his club made mistakes In playing baseball
know just what 10 dounder all circumstances;
you entertain beautifully; and IN the last
month you have i'm proved so in health, owing,
you tell me. TO your physical culture exercises.
Where DO you get all Of your information
from In this little out.of;the way placef-for
KATE: why, Jennie, you will make me
vain. i have only one source of Information,
but IL is surprising how II meets all wants,
very seldom hear OF anything new but what
the next few days bring me full information
And q great treasure il is to MS ali, for il
really furnishes tho reading for the whole
household: father has given up his magazine
that he has taken for years, as no says this
one gives more and better information on
tho subjects Of tho day; and mother says
that Il Is that that makes her such famous
the only really FAMILY magazine published,
As We have sent for 50 amples OF oil OF them,
and hnd that one Is oil for men, another all
for women, and another for children only,
while this one suits evcry ono OF us; so we
only need TO take one instead OF several, and
that z where the economy comes N, for IL Is Is
2r %S yeST PerhSps {oIl, OIL, thinS at xo,, sm ses
ours, or, better stfll. send 10 cents TO the pub
Usher, w. Jennings Demorcst, Is East 14th
Street, New York, for q sample copy, and j
-eball always consider that have dono you
z great favor; and may DO you win be cutting
being the best Informed family in town, II
sSssss does &c II its Is D'"''''' 'a' N'EaA'n'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"Ths Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
DAY trains and sleeping cars on night trains
WHITING, Ticket Agent.
O.w. RUGGLES, @. z. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

"Do you believe monkeys talk p
"No; they chatter" "But they seen
to understand each other" "Oh, well
What of itl So do dudes. Brook.
lyn Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Isn't it queer that when two youths
meet, the greeting is How're you,
old fellow p while the bald-headed
always salute How're you, my boy y
Pittsburgh Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Hello, Henry anything on foot
to-day"
Eyes same old bunion, and it
hurts like thunder. ."-Cleveland
Voice.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

A writ of attachment-the love
letter.-Washington Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

whats the matter with you two
fellows ?" said patrolman to two
tramps. "Why don't you wash your
selves ?"
YVES too busy explained enc.
BUSY at what 7"
"Scourin' the country" said thu
other, with broad grin.-Clcveland
Voice.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Young Nevergo-"I beg pawdon
Miss Polly, for leaving so early. for,
weally, l feel SO much at home heah,
always" Miss Polly-"No apologies
are necessary ; I'm sure / always wish
you to be at home when you are here.
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

She-"W Who's That swell young man
over theref :"
He-"Oh, that's Maltby, and he's
a corker."
Shell beg your pardon ?"
He-"A corker, don't you know
Works in a beer bottling establish.
ment. Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16

Mich. an Central.
tiO Bay City, leave, $50
7I5AM leaves Detroit, arrives, 40
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-12-16
HUMOROUS.

nOmVhOOo,
A writ of attachment-the Low,
letter.-Washington Star.
The hotter people feel toward eacl
other the cooler they act.-Atchisol
Globe.
However other people may lool
down upon it, the chimney sweep
business just scots him.-Binghamtol
Republican.
The gambler who follows his anti
is often obliged to hunt up his uncle
Texas Siftings.
A man is blind drunk when he ha
to be carried home on a shutter
Pittsburg Dispatch.
In these days of political assess
ment even the oyster is beginning t.
shell out.-Ram's Horn.
A bicycle rider is not well off wher
be has taken a header to get off,
New Orleans Picayune.
That promising young man is still
in great demand among his creditors
Baltimore American.
A pigs idea Of a parlor probably il
that it has big mud puddle in the
centre of it.-Ram's Horn.
1t is useless to tell pretty girl tc
reflect. Her mirror does that with
entire satisfaction. Washington Star
Why is it said that the doctor pays
visits, when everyone knows that it
is the visits which pay the doctor p
Baltimore American.
Every man who does not labor and
lay up q fortune may cause absolute
suffering to his daughters future hus-
band.-Elmira Gazette.
The difference between an editor
and his wife is that his wife sets
things to rights, while he writes
things to set.-Yonkers Statesmen.
The course of true love may never
run smooth, but that fact doesn't pre-
vent the lovers from striking a gate
now and then.-Bingbamton Leader.
always think before you speak.
ut wouldn't do" replied Willie Wish
ington. "My friends would think ]
am deaf and dumb. Washington
Star.
Hello, Henry anything on foot
to-day'"
"Yes; same old bunion, and it
hurts like thunder. ."-Cleveland
VOICE.
"Do you believe monkeys talk p
"No; they chatter" "But they seem
to understand each other" "Oh, we'll
What of itl So do dudes. Brook
lyn Life.
Isn't it queer that when two youths
meet, the greeting is How're you,
old fellow {" while the bald-headed
always salute How're you, my boy n
Pittsburgh Post.
Philosophers have noticed that
when man makes up his mind that
he has to practice economy he general.
ly tries to begin with his wife's ex-
penses.-Texas Siftings.
snodgrass--A man who buys lot
terry tickets is necessarily selfish
man. Snively-How do you make
that out? Snodgrass-He's always
looking out for number won.-Topic.
Father-"My dear, this seems like
a strange marriage. He Is but 1s
years old and you are 2s. When he
is 40 you will be 90" Daughter
"No, indeed. I'll still be 2S."-New
York Weekly.
A Head Observation-Disclosures
have a cold It Is invariably a cold in
the head" She-"Exactly. Colds
always fly to the weakest part Of ones
body, you know" Sudden collapse
of the subject. Comic.
Poor old Dushforth fell down and
broke the trestle of his nose" Don't
you mean the bridge" 7" "You might
call It a bridge, but as no water pass.
es under it l thought the other word
better. indianapolis Journal.
When the baby comes, the first
thing the fond father does is TO give
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-03-26

The snow is melting rapidly.
IN. NJ. Larson has moved into
town.
Boots, shoes, hats, caps and
gloves at FransOn's.s
g. C. Winchester went to Crooks
ton last night.
Rubbers-all styles and all sizes
at FransOn's shoe store.
Don't Pull Back to morrow night.
Go to the entertainment
John P. Dahlquist has situa-
tion with Lindberg & Lundgren.
E. F. Whitney sells wall paper at
Chicago prices, and has 1000 rolls
to select from. H
WANTED-A position as teacher in
q country school by a gentleman
teacher. Call or address, SHEAF Office.
"A. B. Nelson is now prepared to
insure Blooded Horses and Cattle
against loss by death or accident.
Franson, the shoe man, has the
very lowest prices, always consider
ing the quality and price. All goods
strictly warranted.
You will be Borrowing Trouble
unless you take your whole family to
the entertainment in court house hall
Friday night.
Mr.. W.. A. Case is moving his
family to Warren this week. They
will occupy the house lately occupied
by Hans A. Larson.
About fifteen brethren Of the
mystic tie went to Crookston Mon
day night on invitation Of the
Crookston Masonic Lodge.
"A few friends Of Mr. and Mrs. A.
2. Frank drove out:there and gave
them = surprise party last Friday
night. All had very good time.
Mr.. Gordon's new drugstore
building is going up fast just across
the street from the SHEAF Office. It
is filing 9 vacant spot which has
been an eye-sore for some time.
When you can tgetwhat You want
elsewhere you are sure to Ind it st
the shoe store of #. Franson. who
has BY far the largest, most varied.
and stylish stock pf foot wear in
Marshall Comfy.
Don't forget to attend the mu-
sical and literary entertainment to
be given BY the home talent Of War.
rem at Court House Hall TOMORROW
evening for the benefit of the II. e.
Church. An excellent program has
been prepared for the occasion, con.
sisting Of plays, recitations, songs
music etc.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-03-26

Selling shoes at cost, at L. A..
>lee's.
See ad of Farmers and Merchants
Bank of Argyle.
Buckwheat -four and pure Maple
syrup at Winchester's.
"A. Grindeland attended district
court at Hallock the fore part of the
week.
Don't forget to go to Taralseth. 8
for good bargains.
Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Scarf return
ed Tuesday from an extended visit
in Wisconsin.
Money scarce? Come up to Whit
ney's and you'll forget it.
MIR. and Mrs Fred Flanders went
to Crookston on Monday to spend d
few days visiting with relatives and
friends.
MIR. P. L. Stickney arrived by
this mornings train. He will visit
for a few days with friends in this
village,
Goods are now sold cheaper at
.raralseth's brick store than ever
before.
Will not some OF our delinquent
subscribers be kind enough to bring
us load or two of wood before the
snow is all gone?
Albert Vine. the butcher, will pay
the highest price for hides, pelts and
furs.
Our readers will please observe
the change in Mr.. w. F. Powell's i'd
vertiseIlent this week. Those need.
ing farm machinery will do well to
read his announcement.
Easter service in the NJ. +.
Church next Sabbath morning and
evening. Subject.for morning service
at 1O:3O o'clock; Easter Morning.
In the evening, at 7:8O. Subject;
"The Tomb In The Garden.
The Story & CLARK Organs and the
Sterling Pianos are the hest. j. A
| Welander always keeps a stock or
hand from which TO select a nearly
new piano and u second hand organ
for sale 1t very low figures.
Mr.. A. p. Znerold desires to an
nouncs through the SHEAF that b,
has opened up drugstore in the G
j. johnson building where be will b
pleased to ses al his old customers
and many new ones; and that b,
fair treatment he hopes to merit 1
continuance of their good win in tn
future AZ in the past.
New-York tribune., 1891-09-17
That

canvass industrial neighborhoods for exhibits That
Il all to be done yet"
The reporter asked: e. DO they feel kindly toward
the Worlds Fart"
n is hard 10 tell whether thev do not. Inc
worlds Fair has had several things TO contend "th
which are now disslpated OF cUurse there IS as
tnct hostility the part OF manufacturers VINO hve
heen hurt by the Mckinley bill ard their dlssatsac
ton Is detrimental to the Fair. one clrcnmsosu'1,o
which nearly pafalyZed the movement Tor whIo
was the report that the Contract Labor law "ouo 20
enforced against employees on all shipments Oh ND
nloy people here. This has been dissipated, Dut IL
was a long time before it was explained"
Mr. Depew related the following TO the reporters
The most interesting civic event In Europe was
tho celebration of the tooth anniversary OF the ced
on OF the nationality Of Berne and the 6ooth OF c
swiss Republic 1t was delightful experience ior an
American TO In touch with the enthusiasm OF
people who were proudly depicting to themselves tne
sIy centuries during which they had KEPT
alamo the faht Of liberty amid the
maintains Of their country. The centennial
differed from ours in that II dramatic represen-
words of drama to make clear all the salient events Oh
each of SwitZerland's six centuries thonght "a"
the source Switerands sturdy independence I'D Ihe
nrlncipes character of the President OF the he
public, Welh. to whom was INTRODUCED Ihey nav nav
no fears of third terms in Switzerland and he has been
Six times its President. He was plainly one Oh the
peOple sturdy honest intelligent and patriotic hold
inc his place because he wdS essentit-N one OF ue
people in every # the constituencies which con-
tfnued so repeatedly to honor him.
George II. Daniels, general passenger agent on re-
ouest Of his friends made a short address of welcome
to the president Of the New-York Central Company:
some of the friends of Mr.. Depew left the steamboat
with him at Twenty secOndst the Others returned 10
Corfandtst Mr.. Depew, with his family, went
directly to his home
New-York tribune., 1891-09-17
SIMON v. RosENpALE.

Simon W. Rosendale whom the Democrats nave
namf for Attorney General. was born at Albany June
o. 1s41 and was educated in the schools Of that Guy
and at the Barre Vt Academy. lie then studied law
and was admitted TO the bar In 1868 he was eected
Recorder of Albany on the Democratic ticket and
served four years. He renomrated in 1o'2 out
was defeated. Mayor Nolan. in 1873. selected MI.
Rosendae legal adviser Of the city government
and reappolnted him in 1850 Mr.. Rosendae resigned
the Office in April. 1851 In November. 1857, Mr.
Rosendale formed a law partnership with W. H. Peck
ham, the surviving member Of the famous firm OF
Peckham e. TIemane. which continued until MI PECK
ham became Justice Of the supreme Court June L.
1884 Mr. Rosenda'e then united his fortunes Win
Albert Hessberg and the firm is now known as Roseh-
dale e. Hessberg. When MavOr Banks was elected in
Apr 1854 he appointed Mr.. Rosendae as Corporation
Counsel. Mr. ROsendae Is a director OF the NauohaI
Commercial Bank and of the Albany Railway COMPANY
trustee Of the National Savings Bank. and one OF the
governors of the Albany Hospital lie mas oeeh, Az
Prominently identified for with Hebrew chartDle
and fraternal ORGANIZATIONS lie was tor zen & &Ssai
presdent the Court OF Appeals Of the OIder OA h
Birth,
New-York tribune., 1891-09-17
,PEECHES IN CONVENTION.
tContiuusd from PAGE 12O

leader Of them. He was chairman Of the Committee
on Privileges and Elections, and member Oh the
Judiciary, Insurance and other committees. He was
reelected in 1883 and was the candidate of his party
for the speakersbip In 1884 he elected County
Judge of Ontario County, and he was serving his hi'h
year on tho bench when, In 1889, he was pomins'ed
and elected Secretary of state, which office ne no"
holds. Mr.. Rice was delegate to the Demooraac
National Convention 1850. which nominated General
Hancock for the Presidency and served as secre'ai'
of the New York stAte delegation. He has also Oeeh
delegate to nearly every state Convention since a'
time and was a member Of the DenocIntic state Coni
mittee In 1888. He has always been Democrat h sp
since his majority actively connected witl Hle 1co
ershin ~ his party He has been candidate f0r once
SIX times has never been defeated ann has edch uI9
received majority In his Inty in spite OF 's nors
Republican majority Of about 1000.
New-York tribune., 1891-09-17
THE AMERICAN IN EUROPE.

From The Minneapolis Tribune.
senator W. d. Washburn whose brief comment on
tho American IDIOT in Europe has caused de-
cided cOmmOuon among the tourists, declines to De-
come responsible for the remark cIedlted 70 MN III
the Chicago Interview. IN referring 10 the Wdttei
Yesterday the senator said
am sorry that what is said in Chicago was not
reDorted a little more accurately. / did speak qulie
abroad, but / made no such sweeping and Mm0st
eXtrivagant remarks the published interview would
indicate. As matter oi tact, there Is very lsrs9
cultured people OF this country going abroad every
year for rest health, recreation and general change
Of scene and also with the view Of studying the m
and many also with the view Of extending Their
scientific and professional requirements. THESE
people all derive great benefits from going abroad aS
IL has the effect of widening their vision, broadening
opportunity Of contrasting the government and civil
izatiOn Of the Old World with our All sucll
receive great benefits and return wiser citizens, ana
without exception better Americans and more ell
was not OF these people that made my remarks. hut
Of the large class who 60 abroad because they nave
money, and because II Is the thing 30 dopeople who
know nothing Of their country. It's ms itu;lOns
and whose time while abroad is largely taken mp by
talking loudly and very feducntly sparagng their
own country. and often COnducfine themselves Il
and Aunkeys. These people spend enormous sums Oi
money In various ways, with nothing show for H.
| see Mr.. Williams, the president Of the Chemical
National Bank Of New York CITY In n recent inter
view m The North American Review states that
during the present year ahOnt 10000 Aperl-
have gone abroad and estimates that aver
aee they viii expend 81 900. This Is, I'm
NV judgment a moderate estimate, but making the
grand total Of s6O0OOOOO Of American gold that has
gone out OF the country during The present season
and this Is certainly not oyers ement Of the case
80, you see from material standpoint, tbs ques-
ton OF American travel is becoming quite serious
New-York tribune., 1891-09-17
GAMBSLAUGHTERING UIEs.
From The Rico News.


There has been band OF Utes, thirty five bucks ana
seventeen squaws saughtering deer BY the wholesao
over on Beaver and GrOundhOg creeks and the neigho
Ing country. They In there about two weels
and the cattlemen estimate that upward Of 600 deer
were killed for the hides. The csrcasses are kit
rotting upon the ground and In many places tse
stencil Is so great that the cattlemen hardly res
over the country. As j. always the ease, aIso
majority OF these deer were does with young h"ns.
which are as yet too small to rustic subsistence ios
themselves, and they will consequently pensh ~
starvation. As the does usually have two lawns
EACH this means the destruction Of over 1000 deer
at a low estimate taken from that portion Of Doioes
County, which were 10 not for this wantOn destrucuI
by Uncle SANS ratOnf fed, annuity dwng, pcs ileh, 80
pets, wOuld be OF the finest fields In AmeIea lOr
NE sportsman during the brief the law ALLOWS
the taxpaying, government supporting citizens to XII
that kind OF game. -,
II any other than the poor Indian would hH
deer for his consumption out OF the season alON
by law, lse IS lawbreaker, and were people me-,
enough TO do so he might be prosecuted for so dolhs
II he kills deer In season he violates the law ana
amenable to punishment II he shares Ii win us us
neghbor IL hc any time offers a piece OF venlsoai
oi sale he IS guilty OF crime. while those psnpes
wards OF the Government supported az toe e1pe..so
of the taxpayers, make yearly incrsons and slansn'
ard waste venson enough TO feed the entire camp "a
Rico for two months out OF the year, and sun s
nefarous work is allowed 10 50 on. Oh! for ""'
'em Hell Nests