Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-01-11
HE ADMITS A GRIEVANCE.
And San Francisco Is the First Vic
tim of His ReVeBgeful Pen.
HIS OPINION OF THE REPORTER,
The Language, the Spittoon, the Free
Lunch and the Cable Car.
HIS DISCOVERIES AMONG THE CLUBS


Serene. Indifferent to fate,
Thou sittest at the Western gate;
Thou seest the white seas fold their tents,
Oh, warder of two continents
Thou drawest all things, small and great,
To thee, beside the Western Gate
This is what Bret Harte has written of the
great city of San Francisco, and for the past
fortnight have been wondering what made
him do it. There is neither serenity nor in
difference to be found in these parts; and
evil would it be for the continents whose
wardshiD were entrusted to so reckless
guardian. Behold me pitched neek-and-
crop from 20 days on the high seas into the
whirl of California, deprived of any guild
ance and left to draw my own conclusions.
Protect me from the wrath of an outraged
community if these letters be ever read by
American eyes
San Francisco is a mad city-inha bited
for the most part by perfectly insane people,
whose women are of remarkable beauty.
When the City of Pekln steamed through
the Golden Gate J saw with great joy
that the block house which guarded the
mouth OF the finest harbor in the world,
sir" could be silenced by two gunboats from
Hohekong with safety, comfort and dis
ican vessel of war in the narbor. This may
sound bloodthirsty; but remember, 1 had
come with grievance upon me-the grieV-
ance of the pirated English books.
KfpIing Sees Reporter.
Then a reporter leaped aboard and ere I
could gasp held me in his tolls. He pumped
me exhaustively while was getting ashore,
demanding OF all things in the world news
about indian journalism. 1t is an awful
thing TO enter a new land with new lie on
your lips. L spoke the truth to the evil
minded Custom House man who turned nv
most sacred raiment on a floor composed of
stable refuse and pine splinters; but the re-
porter overwhelmed me not so much by his
poignant audacity as his beautiful ignor-
ance.
L am sorry now that 1 did not tell him
more lies as passed into a city of 800, 900
white men. Think Of it'll Three hundred
thousand white men and women gathered in
one spot, walking upon real pavements in
front of plate glass windowed shops and
talking something that at first hearing was
not very different from English. It was
only when / had tangles myself up In
hopeless maze of small wooden houses, dust,
street refuse and children who played with
empty kerosene tins, that 1 discovered the
difference of speech.
"You want to go to the Palace Hotel?'
said an afable youth on dray. "What in
sheol are you doing here? This is aboutt the
lowest ward in the city. Go six blocks north
to corner of Geary and Markey, then walk
around till You strike corner of Gutter and
Sixteenth and that brings you there"
Tangled by the Language.
1 do not voueh for the literal accuracy Of
these directions, quoting but from disor-
dered memory. "Amen," ] said. "But .
who am L that 1 should strike the corners
such as you name? Peradventure they be-
gentlemen of repute, and might hit back.
Bring it down TO dots, my son."
1 thought he would have smitten me, but
he didn't. He explained that no one ever
used the word street, and that every one was
supposed to know how the streets ran, for
sometime the names were up on the lamps
and sometimes they weren't. Fortified
with these directions / proceeded till
found a mighty street, full of sumptuous
buildings four and five stories high, but
paved with rude cobblessones, after the
fashion of the year 1.
Here a tramcar, without any visible
means of support, slid stealthily behind me
and nearly struck me in the back. That
was the famous cable car of San francisco,
which runs by gripping an endless wire
rope sunk In the ground. and Of which
Will tell you more anon. A hundred wards
further there was slight commotion in the
street, gathering together of three or four,
something that glittered as it moved very
swiftly. A ponderous Irish gentleman,
with priests cords in his hat a1d a small
nickel-plated badge on his fat bosom
emerged from the knot supporting a China
man who had been stabbed in the eve and
was bleeding like pig. The bystanders
went their ways, and the Chinaman. assisted
by the policeman, his own.
No Curiosity Excited.
OF course this was none of my business.
but rather wanted to know what had hap-
pened to the gentleman who had dealt the
stab. 1t said great deal for the exeeilenee
of the municipal arrangement of the town
that surging crowd did not at once block
the street to see what was going forward.
was the sixth man and the last who as
sisted at the performance, and nv curiosity
was six times the greatest. Indeed, 1 felt
ashamed of showing it.
There were no more incidentstill 1 reached
the Palace Hotel, seven storied warren Of
humanity with thousand rooms in it. All
the travel books will tell you about hotel
arrangements in this country. They should
be seen to be appreciated. Understand
clearly-and this letter is written after q
thousand miles OF experiences-that money
Will not buy you service in the West. When
the hotel cIerk-the man who awards your
room to you and who is supposed to give
you informati tion-when that resplendent in
diyidual stoops to attend to your wants he
does so whistling or humming or picking
his teeth, or pauses to converse with some
one he knows. These performances, I
gather, are to impress upon you that be is
a free man and your equal. From mis- gem
eral appearance and the size of his diamonds
he ought to be your superior. There is no
necessity for this staggering self-conscious-
ness of freedom. Business is business, and
the man who is paid to attend to man
might reasonably devote his whole attention
to the job. Out of office hours he can take
his coach and four and peryade society if he
pleases.
A Profusion of Spittoons.
In vast marble-paved hall, under the
glare OF an electric light, sat 40 or 80 men,
and for their use and amusement were pro-
vided spittoons of infinite capacity and gen.
erous cape. Most of the men wore frock
coats and top hats-the things that we in
India put on at wedding breakfast if we
possess them-but they all spat. They spas
on principal. The spittoons were on the
in each bedroom-yea, and in
chambers even more sacred than these. They
chased one into retirement, but they bios
somed in chiefest splendor round the bar,
aud they were all used, every reeking one
OF them. ~.
Just before I began to feel deathly sick
another reporter grappled me. What be