davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Decorah-posten., 1891-07-08
En- inte1t.

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New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
Winter and Summer,

An Englishman who, after grumb-
ling about his native country for more
than halt lifetime, at last made up
his mind to emigrate to New Zealand,
was asked why he chose that far
away part of the world for place OF
residence. e.s...- -.
s:Why," said he, sit is because ma
ture has made a much better arrange
ment of the seasons there than it has
here" **'. 49,.
..What do you mean?' ~. -
:eWhat do I mean? Why, it's a
great mistake of nature, as any one
must see, to have the cold weather
come in the winter and hot weather in
the summer. How delicious it must
be to have it hot in December, now,
which is the cold, freezing season, and
what blessing to get bracing cold in
July when everybody needs it Now
that's the way they have it in New
Zealand, and that's what call sensi-
BILE arrangement OF the seasons.''
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
WAS IN THE WRONG BOX.
He Turned Out to Be Some Other
Girls Brother.

He Turned Out to Be Some Other
Girls Brother.
The following is the experience OF
boy who had sense enough to keep his
mouth shut at the proper time, says
the New York Tribune:
II was waitin' on Johnny Greene's
STEP" he said, "jess acrost the street
from my house, fur Johnny. Up
comes nice-looking fellow in his best
clothes.
elbows your sister today?' says
he, an l says she was very we'll, forI
thort at first that he did mean my
sister,
Jess then the door opened and he
says to me. Come in, Johnny, and
talk to me while I am waitin' for my
card to go up So I went in with
him.
"sYou're nice little chap says he,
an I've got a pocketknife which I'll
give you if you promise not to lose
it, and so | promised not to lose it
an he gave it to me, and felt of the
blades and saw it was a beauty
al like boys said he, smiling at me
friendly.
"An I like you,' says l. You seem
like q nice fellar, an this knife is a
dandy.
"'I'm glad you like it, says he, AN
perhaps you would like some candy,
an wouldn't you take this quarter an
get some pretty soon?"
can then l grlnned, for I knew
! what that pretty soon meant-jess as
soon as my sister should come down.
Only you see it wasn't my sister at
all. That's why grinned, and says,
Thank you, I'll 60 pretty SOON An
| he smiled again an tried to pat me
on the head, but 1 didn't like to be
patted on the head.
"Pretty soon Johnny Greene sister
comes in an she spoke to me nice,
cause she likes me, an | showed her
my knife, an she smiled at me till
wanted to laff right out, but didn't
say anything about the quarter,
cause 1 knew she wouldn't like
that.
"He says to her: You have a fine
little brother haven't your An she
looked pleased but kind O. surprised,
an says that Johnny was little bit
mischievous, but meant well. l jest
grinned again.
"In about minute Johnny came
down stairs, an when heard him in
the hall I said I guessed I'd 60 now,
but she called Johnny in, cause the
man seemed to like him.
"Johnny,' says she, come and
speak to Mr.. Doolittle,' and Mr.. Doc
little jess looked sick cause l was
snappin' the big blade in my knife.
Er-an' this amt your brother?'
says he, looking sour at me.
"Oh, no. says she, this is Johnny's
chum, who lives across the street.:
"'Come on, Johnny says I, for I
thort it was time to go. Come on
down to the Italian fruit stand an
get some fruit
"Johnny was mad when I told him
about the knife. But never mind
says I. Don't you see he's got togive
you one now?'"
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
Duncan ut do you mean to say
rou did not lose your fur cape that

Duncan do you mean to say
you did not lose your fur cape that.
day? 5 $500
.Dorar-Mr. Holmes, I assure you'll
never lost a fur cape, for / never had
one. ] begin to understand now. The
lady who sat next me in the car had
one. on her lap.
Duncan-Is see, I see; I was on a
wild-goose chase. But tell me, what is
your name? Margie called you Dora
Botan
Dora-Here is my visiting card in
her card basket-look! ~
Duncan-Miss Dorothea Boughton
Miss Dorothea Boughton! Miss!
Well, we'll, what an absurd mistake I
made! Was there ever such a stupid?
Sissy Tomkyns himself could not have
done worse. Let ME explain from the
beginning.
Dora-Hark! A duet.
(Tenor sings ---:
For one brief space we met
looked on thee and loved, and loved
thee! o-
Duucan-That is just my case.
Dora-It is not polite to talk during
the singing.
Duncan-For two years 1 have loved
you hopelessly, Dora-Dorothea.
What say you?
Dora-Hush-sh! Listen!
soprano sings)
Look, look in mine eyes,
And ask, and ask no more
Frank Leslie's Illustrated Newspa-
per.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
Degrees in a Thermometers.

Howmany people who look at a
Fahrenheit thermometerk know why it
is divided i'll 2l2 degrees between the
zero and boiling point? It is fairly
we!lknoWn that F ahrenheit establish
ed his zero at what he believed to be
absolute cold produced by a mixture
|. of ice and salt Ten thousand vol
umes OF mercury at the Fahrenheit
zero are lO,512 volumes ut the boil
ing point ofWater. In some way or
other Fahrenheit hit upon this fact,
hence his scale.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04

When Charlemagne and his Knights: OF
the Round Table y were making war on the
Saracens, in Africa, it frequently happened
that Knights on either side would fight in
single combat for the honor of their re-
spective armies. The Saracens had been
for many years, the scourge the dreaded,
invaders--of Europe, and all waged war
against this common enemy.
But in these days the worst scourge that
threatens US, is that dread invader, Con-
sumption. ...
Consumption fastens it's hold upon its vic
tins while they are unconscious of its ap-
proach. DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery has cured thousands of cases Of this
most fatal of maladies. But it must be
taken before the disease is too far advanced
in order to be effective If taken in time,
and given fair trial, it will cure, or money
paid for it will be refunded
For Weak Lungs, Splitting of Blood, Short
ness of Breath, Bronchitis, Asthma, severe
Coughs, and kindred affections, it is an une-
qualed remedy
For all diseases that arise from torpid
liver and impure blood, nothing can take the
place Of DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov-
cry. Nothing will, after you have seen what
it does. 1t prevents and cures by removing
the cause. It invigorates the liver, purifies
the blood, sharpens the appetite improves
digestion, and builds up both strength and.
flesh when reduced below the standard of
health. H.. sg s
Sold by druggists, everywhere ~
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04

gray eyes, and all that, but any one,
at least any woman, would have seen
that was in love, and would have
taken infinite pleasure in enlightening
me.
! thank my lucky stars that / did
not go there, but received another in
spiration when within five yards of
the house. I took one more look at
the cape and saw that it was quite
new and had the makers name inside
the collar. I dashed over to the e]e-
waited, caught the next train, and
reached the turner's shop just as it
was closing up. The proprietor was
very obliging, had the matter looked
into and informed me that cape
similar to the one I showed him had
been made a week ago for a Mrs.
Charles Botan. He gave me her ad-
dress. 1 shall leave on Saturday
and join mother and the girls in
Switzerland. Here is James. Well?
James-It's all right, sir. The lady
described the cape exactly, so I gave
it to her. She was very much obliged
to you, and the gentleman gave me
SIS, sir.
Duncan-Yes; very well. Now, I
want you to pack my small trunk. !
am going to Europe. And, James,
about what age is-er-the gentleman,
Mr.. Botan? Did he seem to be a feeble,
delicate-looking sort of man at all?
James-No, sir. I took him to be
about 36 or 37-a little older than
yourself, sir.
Duncan-Yes, Now 90. Fate is
against me!
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
Out of Place.

NE commercial room Of English
hotels is devoted to that species OF
business man whom we designate as
drummer and who, III America .[fl
fares With the other guests: ! onll.z.
Poole, an English humorist OF bygone
DAYS, once strolled into a hotel at
Brighton, and ordered dinner. AS ne
was discussing his savory chop, an an n
or man entered, took his stand by the
fire, and began Whistling. Finally, ne
spoke.
"Fine day, sir, said he.
Every fine" answered Poole.
Business pretty brisk
81 believe so"
ssDo anything with Jones on the
parade?"
Now it so happened that Jones was
the grocer from whom Poole OCCASION.
ally bought quarter Of a pound, O!
tea, so he answered.:
GA little. y
"Good man, sir
sGlad to hear it, sir"
"DoS anything with Ihompsoh' III
King Street,"
ssNo sir. !"
'.Shaky, sir'
ssSorry to hear it, sir. Recommend
ed course of salt baths!"
The stranger looked earnestly at
Poole, advanced to the table, and
said arms a-kimbo
ssir, begin to think you are gen
tleman!"
II hope so, sir answered Poole;
'tand hope you are the same"
"Nothing of the kind!'' exclaimed
the stranger. "And if you are a gen
tleman, what business have you
hereW
He rang the bell, and when the wait
er entered, exclaimed, Indignantly:
"Here's a gentleman! Turn him
out!''
Poole had unwittingly settled him
self in the commercial room OF the
hotel.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
2NOBLESSE OBLIGE.

III am weak and you are strong.
Why then, why then,
70 you the Drawer deeds belong;
And so, again,
Ifyou have gifts and have none,
III have shade and you have sun, Be
IT'S yours with freer hand to live
lis yours with truer grace to give,
Than | who giftless. sunless stand
With barren life and hand.
IT'S wisdon,'s law, the perfect code
BY love inspired;
Of him on whom much is bestowed
Is much required.
The tuneful throat is bid to sing,
The oak must reign the forests king;
The rustling stream the wheel must mcve,
The beaten steel its strength must prove,
IT'S given unto the eagles eyes
To face the midday skies.
-CARLoTTA PERRY.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
DORA.
BY MISS I. SNIlTHSON.

UNCAN HOLMES,
so:liloquizing in a
street-car. don't
believe in love at
:irst sight, but 1 be-
lieve in tate, I al
ways have believed
in fate. Ten min
utes ago L was on
my way downtown,
yet here I am riding
uptown, withou t
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.

A cyclone is like three girls walking
abreast-it don't turn out for anything.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Pur. AIR Rather Than Medicine.

1t isn't drugs or medicine that is
needed at all; it is plenty Of the purest
air that can be had. Open the win
dows and doors, clear out the cellar
and ventilate it thoroughly, remove
the dampness, the mustiness, the an
cient odor, the smell OF decay which
greets the nostrils when one enters
from the health-giving atmosphere
out OF doors. Never mind IL the outer
air bears the faint OF tho gas-house, the
mandatory, or some other UNI
pleasant thing; 1t Is also mingled
with the health and strength
giving forces Of nature, and is cer-
tainly better for the human system
than the same air which has been
shut up and contaminated for an in
definite period, with no chance oil
publication. Don't mind, even IL a
little dust is brought in; few min.
utes with the dusterwill put the whole
house in perfect order again. and eve
at the worst, dust is not half SO bad a.
disease. And as for the fear o.
draughts, with cold and a thousan
resultant evils following in their train,
nineteen-twentieths of that is imagi n.
airy, and the other twentieth is east ly
avoidable. Home Compa n
ion.>
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Lincoln,s way.

The Washington Post credits Secre-
tary Blaine with telling story illustra-
tive OF President Lincoln's somewhat
free manner Of receiving dignifed OFF,
Gals.
At the beginning OF a session OF con-
gress Mr.. Blaine had been appointed by
the speaker OF the house OF representa-
tives member OF the joint committee
to wait upon the president and inform
him that congress had duly assembled.
Senator Foot Of Vermont, one Of the
most dignified OF men, was chairman Of
the committee.
On being ushered into the presence
OF the president, Mr.. Foot involuntarily
struck an attitude and proceeded TO say
in his stateliest manner.
..Mr. President, we have been ap-
pointed committee on the part Of tho
two houses OF congress TO apprise you
that they have met and organized, and
are ready TO receive any communica-
ton which II may be your pleasure to
make to them"
As he concluded. Mr.. Lincoln stepped
up to him. and taking him Familiarity
by one button OF his coat, said:
Now look here, Foot II Il Il . mat
ter OF life and death with you can
send my message In to-day; but II Il
isn't I should like to keep Il till TO-
morrow TO slick IL up . little.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25

she Is my friend she may. without
meaning to do It. tell In detail all OF
my life and make me very uncomfor-
table" Fancy having made yourself
so undesirable that your enmity is
preferred TO your friendship-it is
possible. Now. stop In time. With
the first inclination to give the history
OF two thousand rather than of two
cats. put memory ribbon in your
frock. and whenever you feel the incli-
nation to enlarge upon stories already
told that little ribbon will futter a
warning and remind you to stop in
time.-Ruth Ashmore, in Ladies'
Home Journal,
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Tn. Girl Who Exarrerate..

A good many girls girls who mean
to be truthful-drift into bad little
habit OF exaggeration that in time will
become something more. A girl with
q vivid imagination hears a story told,
and seized with desire to Guido her
companion, tells marvellous one
which Is absolutely without existence
except in her own brain. 1t Is fic-
tion that will hurt nobody, she thinks.
That's Where she Is mistaken. Every
time she does this sort OF thing she
hurts herself. She makes her con-
science weaker. and almost before she
is conscious OF II, she will be telling
things that will cause mischief. She
will ruin herself morally and mental
,ly, and people will speak OF
her az one who IL not to be trusted.
and who IL very undesirable as q
friend. She becomes the sort Of woman
about whom, in time, people will say:
II prefer her enmity to her friend
ship, because when she Is my enemy
she doesn't know about my private
affairs and can't exaggerate them and
Tell them 70 everybody; whereas while
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25

troops In the fort haS been overpow-
cred and driven out by the rebs. The
writer's regiment was marched out on
the double-quick. formed In line and
ordered to charge. The 209th Penn
sylvania was on the extreme right.
the 200th Pennsylvania in the center,
and the 208th Pennsylvania on the
left. The brigade went yelling up to
the fort. balls cutting around them,
and when about halfway up they
were ordered to lie down. They
only remained in this position
for moment when the charge
was resumed and they shortly reached
their old breastworks. the rebels fall
ing back before the advance. Some OF
the rebels were in federal uniform,
and Col. Frederick seeing them Or
dered the regiment to cease firing and
yelled to the blue-coats to come in.
Bub learning afterwards that they were
rebels he ordered the firing to COM
mence again. The charge was COM
pletely successful and the rebels were
driven back to the old works, leaving
their dead lying thick on the ground,
while our loss was light. the rebels
overshooting. Gen. Hartranft COM
handed the brigade. which was the
First Brigade, Third Division, Ninth
Corps. After they had driven the
rebels out and flag OF truce was sent
blythe rebels to bury their dead the
Yanks and Johnnies exchanged pa
pers while the truce was in force. -
National Tribune.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Your eyes, dear one. are ike the starr

Your eyes, dear one, are like the stars
Within tho heavens shining.
Your tresses fair around your brow
Are dclicately twining;
And as they fall upon your neck,
They fairy-like do play so
That eau hut this question ask:
"Oh, II you love me say So"
The fragrant roses, as you. pass.
Though In their bloom and beauty
Within their petals shrink and gaze,
And deem IL but their duty.
For they are envious of your charms
Then why do you delay so?
Oh, why not Danish all my fears,
And II you love me, say soY
#. Jameson, In n. Y. Ledger.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
One Question Too Many.

Wife-Such a dream as had last
night, dear!''
Husband-May Ihear about itp
Well-yes. l dreamed that ! was
In great establishment where they
sold husbands. They were beauties,
some in glass cases and marked at
fearful prices, and others were sold at
less figures. Girls were paying out
fortunes and getting the handsomest
men ever saw. II was wonderful.
Did you see any like me there, dearp
Yes. just as was leaving ! saw a
whole lot like you on the remnant
counter. -Pittsburg Bulletin.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Luxurlou. Llre in tho Army.

Said prominent army officer to a
group OF officers and civilians: Ser
vice In the army for the private sol
der is delight to what it used to be
before the war. There is not post,
scarcely, in the country not accessible
by railroad, and which has not daily
mail. The quarters or barracks to
which he is now assigned are
simply palatial. At Fort Riley. for
instance. the mems barracks are
splendidly arranged and handsomely
furnished. Each company quarters is
furnished with a library, billiard
room, gymnasium, marble-tub bath
rooms; the squad rooms or dormitories
are nicely furnished with iron bed
steads, and the walls are hung with
pictures about army life on the march
or in battle. The mess hall at Fort
Riley seats l, 200 men at each meal.
The chef de cuisine Is civilian SAL
aried at $3.50 month. A mess hall
of q like capacity Is to be built at
Fort Leavenworth, and the posts, Fort
Sheridan at Chicago and Fort Logan.
near Denver. are being built with
every convenience. Jefferson Bar
racks. near this city. also IL to be put
In thorough repair and moderhizod. |"
St Louis Globe-Democrat
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Tho Irrepre..ibie Typewriter.

Grizzly-I got new typewriter to-
day.
johnson - How much did it cost
you?
Grizzly-I don't know yet. She's
only been there one day. and ! don't
know whether her mind runs to candy
or bonnets. Shore.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Proverb, Concerning wives.


A wife is better chosen by the ear
then by the eye.
There is many'a good wife who cam
not sing and dance we'll.
AS the good man saith, so say we;
but as the good woman saith, so ii
must be.
A good wife is the gift OF good
God, and the workmanship OF good
husband.
Beauty in woman is like the flow
ers in spring; but virtue is like the
stars of heaven.
The obedient wife commands her
husband; the disobedient wife cannot
command herself.
A fair face does not sweeten a
spoiled dinner, nor gay dress an ugly
unprecedented.
All women are good-they are good
for something or good for nothing,
and their dress usually shows which
1t is.
He that hath bad wife has purga-
tory for "a neighbor; but says Solomon
the Wise, "A good wife is good
price"
A man must ask his wife's leave
before he can prosper; for a man g
best fortune, or his worst, is his wife.
many blame the wife for their own
shiftless life.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
u.ven,e cor M.

Tho naughty pride Of . naughty In
dian chief Is all bosh. From old Red
Cloud down to the lowest sub-chief
they will beg, borrow and steal. and .
plug Of tobacco thrown into the mud
Will result In . scramble like dogs after
. bone. They brag and boast but have
no real pride.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Commerce VS.. Literature.

Caller Your son has wonderful
literary talent, and i think it pity
he should go to work in q store.
Why don't you make writer Of
himP"
Hostess--"If / were sure his uncle
would make him his heir would" -
Good News.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
Women Can Never Understand.

''The face OF the returns" said the
chairman OF the meeting ''shows 81
ayes and no noes"
What queer looking face that
must be!'' remarked an old lady in
the back Observation-Disclosures Star.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-04-25
The strength Of tho Navy.

The annual Register of the United
States Navy shows the active service
to be: Six Rear-Admirals, 10 Commo-
dores, 250 Lieutenants, rs Junior
Lieutenants, liza Ensigns, 81 Naval
Cadets at sea, 2S9 Cadets at the Ma
val Academy, Is Medical Directors.
Is Medical Inspectors, so Surgeons,
81 Assistant Surgeons, Is Pay Direc-
tors, IS Pay Inspectors, 40 Paymas-
tiers, 20 Passed Assistant Paymasters,
IL Assistant Paymasters, 20 Chief
Engineers, 81 Passed-Assistant En-
gineers, % Chaplains, 12 Professors
OF Mathematics, NAVAL Constructors,
IA Assistant Naval Constructors,
10 Civil Engineers. The warrant
officers are; Boatswains. "a; Gunners,
81; Carpenters, As; Sailmakers. 20;
Mates, 30. During the year SO officers
resigned, rs were retired, 48 died,
were dismissed, and l deserted. The
vessels attached to the Navy are:
First rate, 5; second rate, 10; third
rate, 40; fourth rate, 8; tugs, IL;
sailing vessels, ~; unserviceable, 8.
Nineteen vessels are building, lnclud-
ing 8 gunboats, 8 tugs, IL cruisers, a
harbor defense ram, and steel low
free-board turret coast defense (the
Monterrey, and practical cruiser for
the Naval Academy. With the death
OF Admiral Porter the rank OF
Admiral Is abolished. The Admiral
received $13, 900 a year. The pay OF
Rear-Admiral, next in rank, Is
Sc. 900 at sea, $1,000 on shore, and
81, 900 on waiting orders.