The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-05-28
BOUNCER OF LOVERS
us tad IL Lively Tine Of It and Final,
l.rI..

He dad Il Lively 1tbte Oh 1t ana Finally
Came to Grief
EYES," said Young Mitchell, the pop
ular teacher of boxing. as he desisted |
from backing the eye Of favorite pu-
,il and extended us the tip of a six
ounce glove, "a man meets with somo |
odd experiences in this profession. That
case had down in Los Angeles last
summer, tor instance"
what was that?"
well, YOU see. a whitehaired old |
resident of that city came to see me one
day, and after inqnring my terms and |
ali that engaged me to go down to his |
place for month AID act us a general |
bounccr."
kept gambling house. eh?"
ooh! bless you, no. You sec. this |
Old party he was ii capitalist named
Purtev had been married three times,
and had accumulated eleven daugh-
ters"
"C:rsar!'
wholesale stock, wasn't it? And
the worst Of it was that, as several of
them were twins, the girls averaged
from Ii to % years. AS a matter of
course. therefore. they all had sweet
hearts at the same time. They had
one apiece all round, except two or
three, who were terribly ilirty, and had
each three or four beaux on string.
Pretty big set of spoons, take the whole
outfit ill.,
We'll, but"
THE old gentleman explained that
he was almost crazy III consequence. At
first he tried to make things run smooth
by building an additional rarlor on the
house and putting bav-windows aad al
coyes all over the barn, but it wouldn't
work. With. say, thirty-one or two
love-sick glshers reciting poetry, quar-
reiing. and munching caramels around
the premises he never drew aIuIct
breath"
should think not"
why, he said that the noise Of the
kis ses alone could be heard clear round
| the block and shook the plaster down
| every three days. He had to get cast
| iron legs put on the .chairs. Sunday
| night, though, was the worst of all. In
| addition to the regular quorum, the
| honorary members would all drop i'll
aud sit each other out. You've been
there yourself, maybe:'
| Yes. and come away"
| well, the old man tried most every
thing, but what bothered him most
was the difficulty in getting the young
| fellows to go homo in decent season o
| nights. He SAID he used to stay down
at the club until Il and | O'clock at
night so as to give the agony a chance
to he over, but when he'd get home
| even then he'd stumble over two or
three couples on the stairs, or some
where's, and he'd be till all hours in the
morning trying to regulate things"
| fireman, eli y
"precisely. Well I made good terms
with old Purfey and went down on the
next train with him. 1t was about s
o'clock when we got in. and the streets
were full of young men. all going in
the same direction.
We've only got to follow the
crowd said old Purfey, very grinl-ike
They're all going to my house, every
mothers son of EN-"
Did you have much trouble?"
"Trnnhe? But listen. You see the
old gentleman waited until IL :::;h and
thea began business 10y turning oil the
gas. though somehow the mass meeting
on the first floor didn't mind that As
much as e supposed it would. After
that he blew the danger-signal three
times a fairer man never While ] got
into my hard gloves. hen he called
Time, and wadei in
Gave EN- the q. T., eh?"
Exactly. Every now and then I'd
| f,.;I Iay
the stairs or back Of the bookcase and
, door. 1t WAS the dernleat lnb | even
tackled. 1t was 3 a. m. before l got
through. and was so played ont
couldn't walk"
And the next night"
"The next night it was worse. The
, bows had tumblcd, 50 to speak, and a
fast as / threw one ont of the front door
he'd slip round and come in the hacE
way. | never dropped on it until !
o'clock in the morning, when | found
had bean keeping tie same fellows il
the air pretty much all night. The
third night we nailed up the back doc
and managed to get along better"
t The scheme succeeded"
"Succeeded nuthin'! replied the gen
ial lightweight, bitterly. "The fourtl
, night | was Just getting ready for tn
: first round when heard 4 good deal o
: snickering going on around me in TIN
dark. Thinks ], I'll give you some
thing to smoker for. my hearties, and
was just about to yank one of the stow
aways out of the refrigerator wien
pi.e-driyer or something hit me back @
the ear and an earthquake jammed M
! clear through the partition. You Sc
: jim Ccrbett, the heavyweight hap
, pened to be going through on his wa
South to fight kllrain and the admirer
= of the Purfey girls had Clipped i
= enough there were so many of en-,
n Won know-to induce him to lay Owe
h and give one exhibition in Los Angelo,
and he exhibitcd-on me-"
l pretty tough that"
l. well. l should smile. When | &c
4 out of the hospital | told Puriey
uessed Id have to cal! it a draw, an
advised him to try and negotiate Wit
: the Peter Jackson combination"
And he did,"
lie said he would. bnt he wrote IN
a the other day that they had small-ro
in tie family now, and he was begir
ming to have little more sleep nights
n San francisco Examiner.
. Getting Beside the Wrong Woman.
The train bad just reached poii