St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1891-11-21
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BE FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Didn't Mean It-Force of Habitat
Ball Game-Indulgence, Etc.,
Etc.
DIDN'T MEAN IT.
Joniones-You are really pretty, Miss
Brown, but your sister is very homely.,
Miss Brown-My sister wouldn't like
to hear you say that.
Joniones-Oh, you mustn't mind me.
| never mean what | say Yankee
Blade.
FORCE OF HABIT.
Blushinc Girl-Yes, Dick, my heart
is in your keeping. :,
Young Baggageman-My own darling!
Er-want a check for it?-lChicago
Tribune.
AT A BALL GAME.
Novice-Which one Of the players do
you coll the catcher?
Chronic-That fellow with a mask on,
that Just called out "foul."
Novice--Why, was given to under
stand that was the umpire.
Chronic-Some people call him that,
but he's really the catcher; he catches
all the abuse Of the ''rooters. ~ Boston
Courier
INDULGENCE.
Stan. de Rownde-May l see you
home?
May Knott (good naturedly)-Yes; you
may watch me start Puck.
GUILTLEss.
Il hear you played the cornet at the
concert"
'No. sent a substi-toot.'
AN ANCIENT wRANGLE ENDED.
"Well. I'll acknowledge that we're
beth black" said the Pot to the Kettle,
after consideration. "Does that suit
your
eyes, I'm sooted, if you are. -
Puck.
PATERNAL ILLUSTRATIONS.
Young Husband-Amy, what makes
that baby yell in that way?
Young Wife-His teeth, dear.
Young Husband-Oh, if that's all I'll
run for a dentist and have them pulled
out Judge.
HOW SHE sMoTE HIM.
Harry" said Fort street wife to
her husband, Il want hundred dol
lars
"A hundred WHAT" exclaimed the hus-
band.
dollars" she replied, calmly.
"What for?''
ooh, whole lot Of things
"Um-um,' he hesitated, II guess |
shall have to check your extravaganza,
my dear
'"Do," she smiled, "and make it pay
able to my order, please
He collapsed then and there Detroit
Free Press.
PREFERRED THE SMOKING.
That man was in the best Of humor
when he climbed on the cable car. he
was smoking cigar. Now and then he
would lift the seed Havana from his lips
and strike up two or three bars OF song.
Then he would drop the song and take
another draueht or two from the cigar.
A woman sat by his side, fdgeting I'M
| der the smoke and fairly rebelling at the
song All the passengers suffered, but
they suffered in silence till at length the
happy man struck up:
| "Oh, Genevieve, sweet Genevieve -
when the woman interrupted:
! "Oh, smoke-smoke, she cried impa-
tiently: Il would rather smell your cigar
than listen to your song. '-[Chicago
| Herald.
| EXCESSIVE CAUTION.
Mother horrifed)-What did you let
that young Snipkins kiss you for?
Daughter (meekly)-For only two min
utes, mamma, and then told him it was
time to stop Detroit Free Press.
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT.
Ethcl-Miss Wabash is quite aristo-
cratic, isn't she?
Maud-No but her complexion is quite
highly toned.
GENUINE ADMIRATION.
Miss Yellowleaf-T older one gets,
the proyerb says, the more one knows.
| Miss Freshlcaf- an immense
amount YOU must know, Miss Yellowleaf!
COMMON SENSE ANSWER.
Teacher-What sort of a sign was il
that the "stitf necked generation were
seeking for?
Pupil-If they had stiff necks they
were probably looking for a drug store
sign.
RESULT OF HOTEL BILLS.
She-The days are growing shorter
now, aren't they?
He-Yes, and so am l. [Munsey.
WILL FARE WELL NOW.
Jake latter a quarrer-Miss Bellows
| farewell.
Cora-Thanks! I think I'll have 6
chance to fare well after getting rid Of
you.
TRUE BILL.
The man can whistle, quoth uncle John
Who knows not povertys i'll,
But he's not SO blithe when his money il
gone
And his creditors send their bills.
When the pocket is empty the heart is
sad,
And q burden is on the mind,
And it isn't easy to whistle, my lad,
When you cannot raise the wind.
Boston Courier.
DANGEROUS PLACE.
"Hear about Chappie?"
"No."
"Got tossed by bull on Wall street. "
"Hurt?'
| "Broke. '-[New York Herald.