Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1891-09-19
NEW York Is SLOW.
10 wsstsrass Thiaks asa Ne Tens WY
He ThInnkb Be.

y =
Fourteenth street yesterday. says IL.
Quad In the New York Evening World
Been on Breadway~
Nothing there
"On Fifth ivenueP"
'.Nott,ag there"
AT Central Parkp"
Worse yet. 1suppose you do have
real horses here 10 New York;"
Il should remark. What sort Of q
man are you, anyhow"
Just common-just plug Of man
from out west. am here to look aud
pick up pointers. The absence Of any
thing like real horse or fashionable
carriage has struck me rs very queer.
Did you say you knew man who had
one? Name, please? I'll hunt him
up"
DO you pretend to say we haven't
the finest horses and carriages in AM
erica right here In New York;? de-
manded the officer.
YOU may have, but haven't seen
'em. was at Central Park Sunday
afternoon, and the most stylish rig I
saw there was one sold at auction in
Denver two months ago for $780, Most
OF the horses were animals that came
| OIL my street-car lines and had been
sold cheap to get EN- out of the way.
There is one thing You New Workers
do excel 10, however. and I'm glad to
give you credit. You take our old
turnouts and fix 'em up to look quite
rs good US new. saw three OF my
secondhand rigs yesterday, and had
to look close to identify them. I
stopped one coach dead still BY initial
ing the whistle Of car-couductor.
why, man, said the puzzled officer,
as he turned on him. ''you talk like o
chap who is queer in his headr'
oh. of course! That's the wav Won
have here of getting even with the
western man. If he doesn't praise
your old town sky-high and swallow
all your Drag you put him down as
either drunk or crazy. Ever been out
weste"
mo. SIR"
~ thought not, or you would have
some style about wearing your uni
form. II you were to come on duty
in Omaha looking that way you'd get
fired in q second. Made here, l sup
pose?"
Yes, SIR"
THAT accounts for 1t. New York il
the asylum of all the played-out tailors
in America. / lost my baggage here
few years ago. and had to 90 to tai-
Tor for suit to get home In. 1t was
all right until ! got west of Chicago,
and then ] had to take it Of and wear
u blanket borrowed Of an Indian. The
people wouldn't stand it."
why, I've always un derstood that
we have the very best of tailors here"
replied the officer. looking bit less
important than before.
Very naturally you have" contin-
ued the liar. You've sat right down
here aud piped your horn until you
think there is nothing else in America.
/ was through two or three of your
police stations yesterday. We want
to put up some new ones in Seattle,
and our folks asked me to get few
pointers. They didn't know but you
might have stumbled on something
new"
"And you found them fine. sirp"
what! What! My dear man, put
up thirty or forty shanties on my graz
highlands last year for shelters for my
cowboys, and I'm telling you that the
poorest one beats the best police sta.
ton in New York. was almost paral.
yzed when / entered headquarters
on Mulberry street. / supposed. of
course, that should see something
fine. and 1t took half an hour to satisfy
me that it wasn't Nebraska county
schoolhouse moved here as relic.
Our police force in Cheyenne. for In.
stance. wouldn't use such place even
to change their boots in. This is Four
teenth street. isn't itp"
''Yes. sir"
'.Ah! They were telling me I'd see
crowd here this afternoon. At what
hour do the people come out. pleasee"
"Great heavens! but don't you call
this crowde" exclaimed the officer.
Probably seems that way to YOU
because you live here" serenely OBJ
o6EV6u Lu0 lihGs Uub aAl o@buoAiy
lonesome for the sight Of crowd.
When you get sidewalk $50 feet wide
and strong men are squeezed to death
in the throng Of pedestrians You can
begin to talk about crowds. This
simply reminds me Of the school
children passing my house every morn
ing. I think you have store here
with about eighty different depart
ments In ite"
yes SIR"
'And you brag Of itP"
isn't it immense. sire"
For New York, yes. Say. my boy,
II you ever happen in Fargo hunt me
up. I'll take great pleasure in show.
ing you through q little branch con-
Germ have there which has 2l0 de-
partments and is classed as nothing
but side-show. Got to go. ehP"
Yes. SIR"
"Well, I'm sorry for you. but I