New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-01-24


You too, my bully Vulcan have been sometimes In the
OF the dnnertabe orator and after.dInnor speech.
Tell fine old blacksmith does give you great
delight
To hear the speakers spoutng while guests getting
Tight
the orators and speeches bring you something fresh and
Speak out, hornyhanded let word from YOU"
old Vulcan shooting Pegasus still horses heel
And hardly dcigned answer, but just grunted
"Ausgespcl.'
Turning then whore John L. Hercules stood leaning
his club
Heavy weight among the athletes champion Of the
Father Jupiter said: Hercules you're well known as
sport,
attended public dinners too though that is not
your forte,
Tell which Of all your labors your mind CON-
with the speaker bill Of fare :"
Ah. said Hercules. responsive "when that duner takes
the floor
think of Erymanthus and my tussle with the boar"
Enough" cried Father Jupiter, those degenerate
Of
Have lost all versatility with either tongue or pen
Bring me honey Of Hymcttus bring stores OF Attic salt
We will make end Of commonplace tn duness call a
halt;
Though nv affairs are deserted and the
Eager multitudcs at Delhi or Dodonas speaking tree
Yet trick or two left me. and think teach
These devotecs how to make dinner speech"
Then broke out Occanus Mars Posedon and the rest,
Crying PUT your dccayng powers severe test
there Is nothing new remaining to he said
and Cicero and all that zee dead.
And the men did the talking departure OF the
ladies
Have now for several hundred years been doing time in
IIadcs."
But tho voice Of Father Jupiter laundering through
the hall,
IL will show you orator who Is bound 10 Dest
them all"
Then nmblc.tooed Mercury who stood waiting near
the door,
Disguised District Messenger. six hundred eRhF'
Bring me dimpcd baby without blemsh stain or fault
will touch his lips with honey and his tongue WIN
Attic salt.
Through tcething. mumps and measles and tho porS Of
the street.
To train him for his shall be constant care
For he'll be at every table and on every bill OF fsre
Sped Mercury on his eand, hunting through the realms
Of space.
For coming dinner speaker who should not ulA '"
monplace;
Not long the search for Mercury by Jove diVney sent
To Hudson his hurried footsteps bent
Found there dmplcd baby, in his cradle calm ana 'tl
wise precocou infant who seemed Just 70 oil tho Dill
Then hurrying back TO Jupiter az once 'DN''f'' ~
thus.
"May It please your Royal Hichnes' think I've found
the cuss"
To which great Jovc with dignity impres'ivey replied
$50 not too fast my Mercury you know 'twoud I'll be-
tide
Our prestige on olympu, by any sad mistake
You've missed the coming orator and struck PeeHs"H
fake
Tel mo pray YOU frankly. by what Distinguished sign
Discovered you at Pcekskl this orator di'ineF'
Then answered ninble Mercury with girgle and grin
oh l knew him minute by the loo-ene"s OF his
chin"
IAN right" said Father Juplter 'you oil my soul with
JOY.
Call All the gods and goddesses wen and 500 the boy
So this Greco Roman circus. from regions FAR remote.
Got OF At Peeksk landing from The Friday evening boat
There Wa Neptune with his trident Apollo win Ms Dow"
John L. Hercules and Juplter,-the whole oympisn snow"
And they marched where young Mercury Win Instinct
sure and true
Had found the coming orator young Chauncey NJ Depev
Then cried Jupiter in ccsacy. We've found the coming
man.
He will make an end Of dulnc.s. II anybody can;
To .wectcn up hi, coqucncc let him early learn 20 ZIP
This honey Of Hymottus which ! lay upon hiN lp
H. Will ducifv his u4Iancc and keep hi voice n trn"
While Gupit.r wa, talking the baby bit the spoon.
SPOKE W. "Oh throw - spoon away. and feed him with
a adc"
.Thi. Attic salt" ead Father Jove. will keep him
extra dry"
At which the boy looked up and dropped the corner Of
his eye.
.preorious boy cried Bacchus chow natural To think
That when you've got him dry. you'll ask hiu up
drink
But never since the heavenly hosts Win all inc I'
strOyc
saw an infant have the gall wink at Father Jove"
Enough Of this" said Jupiter. success has crowned
our search.
Let the baby now be chrlsencd IN the PrcsbyteFlan
Church"
with the training that should 1T him FOR his singular
career
Until eighteen hundred fny.two love did not Interfere
Then le,t by ml,dccton his exp rincnt should fan.
lie peremporly ordered that the boy be- sent To Yale
For the father knew what advantage 1t would
To have him get acquainted with the Class OF 80.
ON the college fence accordingly the young went and
roasted
nv the yoube and soon.tobc bad.hcaicd Jimmy Iiu'td
Then the year, rolled along old toa,S and old speeches
sucked the life blood Of fun from the tableke lccche''
And the tedious old.tmor inflicted his hcanr
with chestnut, whose vintage outranked the Madeira,
While the guest. who had paid for this banquet OF soul
I.csorted U drowning their grief In the bowl;
Then over the banquet arose Ia fun View
The fairy-likc figure OF Chaunccy Dcpew.
"a need to describe him, you all know him well,
For what Yale alumnus hath not felt the spell
Of the wit and wisdom. the charm and the grace,
L pom every occasion. whatever the place.
He difuses about him lit need only De- sad
Where he sits at table Il always at head.
Alumni and Ball Nine, Eleven and the crow,
All throw up their hats for Chauncey Dcpcw
He, been dining and speaking for years score,
lie has routed the chestnut, cvlct'd the bore.
40 tables without him, no dinner complete.
The fun always wait, till he get, on his feet
Making all men his friends without seeming 70 try
now ho prays with the pous. drinks with the dry'
Always sweet a. the daily and fresh The dew.
No ny ever lighted Chauncey Dcpcw.
HI. religion Il varied. his politics checkcrcd
But In making Of speeches he's broken the record
He's our model for cloqucncc. pattern Tor style,
I,Xenpar Of morals and freedom from guile,
So when. a. quite Oft'n IL comcth To pass,
We practise aprcchc, In front Of the glass.
And the Madame. bcwldered, what are you doing
our only reply Is "Im Chauncey Dcpcw.ing."