The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-07-25

the review was fur. will state that the
sojers looked pocty scrumptious IN theli
red and green close.
Come with me, jentle reader. to Que
beck.
Quebeck has seen lively times in a war
like way. The French ind Britishers
had set-to there in 1850. JIM WOLFF
commanded the latters, and 10. MONT
CALM the formers. Both were huuky
boys, and tit nobly. But Wolfe was
too many measles for MoNTCALM, and
the French was slew'd. WOLFE and
MoNrCALM was both killed. In artel
years common MONUMENT was erected
by the gen'rous people of Quebeck, aided
by bully Earl named GEORGE Dali
HOUSE, to these noble fellows. That
was well done.
Durin' the Revolutionary War q. Ar.
MOLD made his way, through dense woods
and thick SHOWS, from Maine to Que.
beck, which it was one of the hunkiest
things ever done in the military line. Ii
would have beer better if B. AENoLD's
funeral had core off immeditly on his
arrival there.
On the Plains of Abraham there was
onct some tall fitin', and ever since then
there has been II great demand for the
bones Of the slcw'd on that there occa.
sion. But the real ginooine bones was long
ago carried off, and now the boys make
| a hansum thing by carting the bones Of
hosses and sheep out there, and sellin'
EN- to intelligent American towerists.
| Ta!sin Professional view of this dodge,
must say that it betrays genius OF u
lorfty character.
1t reminded me of inspired feet Of
my own. used to exhibit IL wax fiyger
of HENRY WILKINS, the Boy Murderer.
HENRY had. in IL moment of inadvcrt-
ence. killed his Uncle EPHRAn and
walked off with the old mans money.
Well, this stattoo was lost somehow. and
| not sposin' it would make any particler
difference substitooted the full grown
stattno Of one of my DISTINGUISHED Diruts
for the Boy Murderer. Que night I ex-
hibited to poor but honest audience in
the town of Stoneham, Maine.
"This, ladies and gentlemen" said I.
pointing my umbrella (that weapon,
which is indispensable to every troo
American) to the stattoo, this is Il life
like wax fiyger of the notorious HENRY
WILKINS, who in the dead of night muir.
dered his Uncle E2HRAM in cold blood.
A sad warning to all uncles havin' muir
derers for nephews. When mere child
this HENRY WILKINS was compelled to
go to the Sunday-school. He carried no
Sunday-school book. The teacher told
him to go home and bring one. He went
and returned with comic song book.
A depraved proceedin." '
But" says u man in the audience.
"when you was hero before your wa;
figger represented HENRY WILKINS as !,
boy. Now, HENRY was hung. and yet
you show him to us now as full grown
man! How's that
"The figger has crowd, sir-lt has
Crowd" I said.
was angry. II it had been in these
times think I should have informed
agin him as q traitor to his flag. and
had him put in Fort Lafayette.
l say adoo to Qucbeck with regret. 1t
is old fogyish, but chock full of interest.
Young gentlemen Of romantic turn OF
mind, who air botherin' their heads us
to how they caa spend their fathers
money, had better see Quebeck.
Altogether l like Canady. Good pco.
pie and lots Of pretty girls. I wouldn't
mind comm over here to live in the
capacity of Duke, provided n vacancy
occurs, ind provided further could be
allowed few star-spangled banners. /,
eagle, a boon of liberty, etc.
Don't think I've skedaddled. Not al
all. I'm coming home in u week.
Let's have tho Union restored as il
was, II we can; but If we can't TN Il,
favor Of the T'nion as 1t ,casnt. But the
Union, anyhow.
Gentlemen Of the editorial corpse, il