New-York tribune., 1891-12-29
DIssIPATED CONNECTICUT COWS

While the most advanced Connectlcut rtlorueio
are denouncing dogs, it would seem that they
ought to include their cows. The best thinkers
Of the Nutmeg State now class the owning of
q dog with the OF strong drink, out no
Connecticut dog has ever been reported drunk
and disorderly, while this is precisely the news
which comes from the Connecticut cows Long as
sociation with Connecticut men has demoralized
the cows at last, and they have taken to rum.
As everybody knows this lis good season for
apples Thousands of bushels of this fruit are
scattered about on the ground in the orchards
all over the State. Now, these apples, being
dumb inanimate things and not understanding
what a pernicous substance alcohol is, and still
less of Course being unable to realize that there
are very proper laws against alcohol-So these
poor apples we say, have largely turned into
cider of an excellent but highly intoxicating
quality. They have looked innocent as they lay
on the ground, but in reality each has been n
sort of an alcohol dumping, ready to bite like
a serpent and sting like an adder 10 these
apples the low Connecticut cows have turned and
actually made men of themselves. The other
day cow belonging to MIR. Hanson, OF North
Haven went out in the orchard and began eatng
apples. She was soon staggering about ana
making sickening spectacle of herself, especially
for several young calves that were in neghboring
lot At last she stumbled against fence and
broke her leg. and State Humane Agent came
along and shot her Yet, If you Will believe
it. those very calves that had seen it all the
next day themselves got drunk and tried to play
leap-frog! Thus we see the fatal example of
the drunkard
But an even worse case is reported. AS the
reader may know. Mr.. A. j. Doughty, of South
field. is a strong advocate of total abstinence
NJ nv
the Promotion Of Prohibitory Legislation.
One day last week his cows went on tear in the
orchard. They had wild time all the after
noon, believing, kicking at the treetops, running
foot races fighting and forth, but were pretty
well sobercd up when they came in at night, so
that the stable man suspected nothing and MIXED
them as usual. Now, the fact is that large part
Of the alcohol had gone into the milk. 1t hap
pens that Mr. Doughty is fond Of milk, and
that night at supper he called for bowlful.
There several young people present, and
he embraced the opportunity to say
word for temperance My young friends he
observed, in this bowl of rich new milk we have
no headaches, no quarrels, no wickedness, no
noise and foollshnes. 1t invgorates. but it does
not intoxicate How different il is from the
treachcrous wine-cup!" Mr. Doughty then
drank the milk, and finding it even better than
usual ordered another bowl. lie continued 10
call for more, and after disposing OF three or
| four bowls Of il the other people present were
astonished to the president of the Society fol
the Promotion of Prohibitory Legislation begin TO
exhibit many of the signs OF intoXicaton noticed in
the cows during the afternoon. lie did not want
| 20 fight, Of course. but he insisted on a double.
shuttle in front OF the sideboard and on three
cheers for Connecticut. In fact, his enthusiasm
over Connecticut was the most noticeable feature
of his actions. lie announced that Connecticut
was the largest State in the Union. One of the
guests cast doubts this assertion, and Mr..
| Doughty challenged him to name larger State
The guest thought moment and suggested Texas
NO, SIR" shouted Mr.. Doughty; "TeXshu,
amt in il. Connecticut biggest State in the
Union! 'Rah for Conneshicut' The coachmar
and gardener finally put him to bed 1t was
noticed the next day that all the apples were
being carefully removed from the ground in the
orchard
| We hope to hear that the cold weather has
put an end TO the disgraccful actions OF The
| Connecticut cows by freezing up the intoxicating
apples. Our ut least ought TO set the ris-
| ing generation "a better example