Morning journal and courier., 1891-09-10
SLEEPY.

Our next-door neighbor calls his baby
Macbeth, because it murders sleep.-TeIss
Siftings.
What is monopolyl a corporation in
which other fellows hold all the stock
Texas Siftings.
Though l speak but one language, am
familiar with many tongues" J." said the ply
sician.-Buffalo Express
Call a Chicago girl large hearted and
generous, if you choose, but never refer to
her as big -soled.-Texas Siftings.
"I cannot see why do not get along
better. 1 am not one of those fellows who
want the earth, either" mo: what you
want is the sand. d."-Indisnspolis Journal.
Humker (quoting)-What's in a namei
Spatts-If it is the name of a high priced
halter there's probably So in it above the
value of the hst.-Smith, Gray & Co. IS
Monthly.
Ikey-I am going now to bay you a
beautiful diamant engagement ring, Rebec-
ca. Rebecca-Don't vorget, Ikey, that my
fader sells them cheaper than any one in
town.-Brooklyn Life.
A seafaring life tends to develop bellig-
erent tendencies. Not content with the
many spsrs they have on board ship,
sailors are continually boxing the compass.
baltimore American.
"Did Smith produce his new play last
night" Eyes" "And did the audience
call him before the curtain after the last
act" Eyes, and demanded their money
back. k."-Nashville Herald.
Solemn Stranger ION train)-Young
man, death Turks in the cup.
Traveler-I know it; that's why carry
my private bottle. l haven't drank water
M Gftu rai1rna6c Gov rr1nthinut-pnRl
Not Dry Goods Measure Young house
wife-I think We'll have some eels for the
first course, cook. Cook-How much shall
three yards will do, 1 should think
brakes Magazine.
''The life saver at Bartonhurst saved
Mrs. Cohen from drowning" "Did Cohen
reward hima" eyes, gave him S." Good.
He must be fonder of his wife than we
thought" ooh, it wasn't that. She had
her diamonds on."-Brooklyn Life
Mr. Benedict-What is to-day the ami
versary ofa The Johnstown flood, Gar
fields assassination, firing on Fort Sumter
Or. Mrs. Benedict-Why, it's the ami
versary of our marriage. Mr.. Benedict
HIM, knew it was something like that
Boston News.
''What do you think of married lifef'
asked a henpecked man, addressing the
youthful bridegroom. ''Bliss is no name
for it," said the young husband enthu
siastically. ''You are right" said the hen
pecked man, "bliss is no name for il. -
New York Press.
1t is said that the bishop of London went
to see one of his parishioners, a lady with
a prodigious family, which had recently
been increased. AS he rose to leave, the
lady stopped him with: but you haven't
seen my last baby" NO" he quickly re-
piled, ''and 1 never expect to-" Then, it is
stated, he fled.-Modern Society.
Ethel think fathers influence over
you is good. George-How is thstl Ethel
He seems to fire you with zesl-Town
Topics.
A Generous Boy-Mother (sternlyl-
Why did you tell that lie to the teacherl
Johnny-To save somebody from pun
ishment.
Mother (mollifed(-I knew there must
be some extenuating circumstances. Who
was it you wished to save from punish
menti
Johnny-Myself.- Yankee Blade.
Where you going, my pretty mnids''
Going to cooking school, sir, = she said
"Can go with you, my pretty maid"
1--WE don't cook veal to-day" she said.
New York Herald