The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-04-08
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Hard to beat-YouT way.
Manual labor-Compiling a textbook.
Ringing words--"Will you marry
me2"
A friend indeed-The old-fashioned
Quaker.
The cup that cheers not inebriates--
Hiccough.
The absence of soft water is no excuse
for drinking hard.-I7eras SJtingS.
Is the man who is always on the fence
opposed to barbed wire2-Rans'S Horn.
Everyone who goes up the Pixies Peak
Railway travels in cog. st. Joseph Ne'os.
Woman-"Can't you find anything to
do2" Hungry Higgins---"Nothin', 'cept
work. - Indianapolis Journal.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS color will you
have your bill headsl" Merchant
''Dun color. ."-Bg6a!o Express.
"That man has a wonderful memory" p"
elbow does he show itl" "He never
leaves his rubbers in a restaurant" :
"It's all very well to talk of writing
for posterity," sighed the poet; "but
posterity isn't editing any magazines" ;"
The Boston maid refused his hand
Because he knocked, and she
Inquired, "Who is knoclling% and
He answered, "It is me-"
Judge.
Belle-"Now, isn't that too bad 1 de-
clare, it's enough to provoke saintr'
Nell maliciously)-"How do you
know2"-SomerUil2e Journal.
'Did the grocers make anything on
sugar2" asked Lamllin. eyes" said
Broker Margin, "those who had any
sand did. Boston CommercidI Bcltetin.
"To what do you attribute your
longevity2n asked the investigator of a
centenarian. "To the fact that never
died." was the conclusive reply.-Bdsar.
Husband during a spaD-"You had
better shut your mouth; the fool-killer
is around.n Wife---'I don't care; you've
got your life insured. "---Mea'S Outftter.
rather like to break bill
I'm generous, you see.
But OH / take it very i'll
Wiener bill breaks me.
Chicago Netcs.
There is an artidote to every poison,
excepting the poison of malicious gos-
sip. The only remedy against that is
to poison the gossiper SomerU,lIc Jour
nal.
Miss A.--."Who is that dignifed gem
tleman we Just passed." Mr.. b. One
of the profs." Miss A.-"WhaJ 1,lde
you cut him2" Mr. B.--."Force of
habit. 49, Yale Record
Garrulous Stranger on a Train-''My
wife's name was Wood. What was
yoursl" Crusty Old Bachelor-"I guess
mines name was wouldn't l didn't
get her. - Washington Star.
Bridget-''Ls it the feller she's tryin'
to make think she's rich that's in the
parlor?n Thomas-''Naw it's the fell
Ter she's tryiu' to make think she's
young. MuRsey'S Weekly.
1--WE live in penitential zeal
Our whole lives through exclaimed the
seal,
"For in our covering of hair
A sort of sacque-cloth do we wear.n
-lFGShiHgtoH Post
Peddler-'Do buy these eyeglasses,
sir They're as strong as iron and you
cant break them. Why, I've been
thrown to-day out of three houses, aud
not single glass was smashed. -
FtiegeRde BLaetter.
A vegetarian chased by bun
Escaped; then thus enraged, to him did
say:
as this your gratitude, you great big fool?
From this on IN eat beef three times a
daym
Judge
Aunt Rachel-''Yes, l like him well
enough, Jerusha; but how did you ever
happen to marry a man a head shorter
choose, auntie, between little man
with a big salary and big man with a
little salary. - Chicago Tribune.
The rose and lily, side 10y side,
Were in bouquet pent;
''Aho' the rose exclaimed, ''your fair TO see;n
And the lily said, "Of course-tee heel
But you cannot borrow aught from me,
For haven't got a scent,'
-Fich Ne Up.
The following is an excellent lesson in
physiology, in which some of your read
ers and the jackson Township scholars
might be interested. The question
asked by the teacher was: An what
part of the body is the liyerl' and She
was a good deal surprised when the tall
boy replied; "Sou.h of the lungs -
Ayerst0cR (PeaH.) Enterprise
Proprietor of Livery Stable-uEleycn
carriages at six o'clock in the morning!
What in the world do you want of 50
many" Mr.. BilIus Gn tremendous
rage)-'Just got telegram from Mrs.
Billus. She's on her way home from
trip east. She says, meet me at depot
at SIX o'clock in the morning. There
are eleven depots here. Mrs. Bius
shall be met with carriage 40 six
o'clock tomorrow moruiug, by Jocks, II
It costs a house and lot!n- Chclg9 III.
ts'He,