Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1891-01-20
FUNNY.

"What are these funny little green
thingss" asked Flossie of her country cousin, ),
pointing to number of pea pods. ''Those
are peas" said Tommy. "Yon can't fool
me-" retorted Flossie. ''Peas come in big
red cans" ."-Harper's Bazaar.
Dude lat the museum)-Think of it, old
fella It's been dead three thousand
yeahs! If it could speak, what do you
think it would. Mummy with leathery
cougheFor heavens sake, blow that
cigarette smoke the other way.-Chicago
Tribune.
'fThis American practice of tipping is
something frightful. Servants no longer
seem to be content with small sumsl"
Glow is that, your lordships" ga waiter
at breakfast this morning actually asked
me for my cheekl"-Smith, Gray & Co.'s
Monthly.
The "sassiety" papers of Missouri are on
the verge of distraction over the recently
discovered facts that the new governor eats
pie with knife. 1t certainly is a slow
method and not nearly so satisfactory as
taking the allowance of pie in ones good
right hand while eating it.-Peoria Trans
script.
Chow many kinds of time are there!"
asked the music teacher in one of our pub
lie schools the other day. "Two," an
swered small boy after some hesitation
on the part of the class. "What are they?"
asked the teacher. ebay time and night
time" replied the -Binghamton
Leader.
'I don't generally believe in giving to
beggars, but the other night I saw a poor
| fellow who awakened my utmost sym
| pathy He said he wanted two cents to
| take him over Fulton ferry" "And 1 sup
1 10 1,al,a
himr' "Well, yes. You see, he asked me
| for it in Brooklyn. Puck.
| "Who is that terror over there in a
| green gowns" asked careless stranger at
| reception, pointing out a lady to the
man standing next to him. ''That's my
| wife," Indignantly answered the man.
"Wel, my dear fellow" was the wholly
unexpected rejoinder, "don't get mad
about it. I'm sure you have my heartfelt
sympathy. y."-Washingto Star.
| His Mistake.-Amy-You Mr.: Dolley
has proposed to me- Mabel-Of course
you accepted hima Amy-Well, no. 1
had expected to; but in his proposal he
used an irreconcilable figure of speech and
I thought could not risk my life's happi-
ness with him. He said, "Amy, will you
walk with me down the stream of lifeF'
If he had even said wade down the stream
| OF uI6, L COulu uhf0 dCCcptco lAil, bus tiC
idea of walking in the water!-Harpers
Bazaar.
A True Story-Tne day before Christ
mas, the wife of professor in certain
college in the suburbs of Boston, going
about the city in the worst of bad walk
ing, saw directly before her, as she was
crossing the street, a blind man near the
track of the electric cars, feeling his way
carefully along, by means of his stick. A
car under full headway was rapidly ap-
preaching. Anxiously watching him, she
perceived that the blind man was not con-
scious of his danger, and just at the last
moment, making up her mind to a supreme
effort, she dropped all her packages into
the snow and slush, and seizing him by
the collar, pulled him back just in time te
see - the car, loaded with passengers
run off on the wrong switch, and to bt
confronted by an enraged switchman who
had only been trying to move the switch
80 as to send the car to Cambridge instead
| of to some hundred other towns,