The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-01-09

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say anything that night, but next day he
withdrew from the race, declaring that
he would not run against so good a man
as Buck.
"You don't say SOL exclaimed the
colonel.
Yes / do, and know it to be a fact.
l would advise you to humor him in the
same way"
'.Tn do So"
Hush, he's coming back
I'VE are going to have more rain, |
think said the mjor, as he resumed his
seat.
Yes" the colonel responded, but
hope that it will not interfere with the
convention. If the attendance is large
and the proceedings harmonious, the
result will be Of great benefit TO the
county"
"Who do you think will be nominated
for judge old John asked.
Neither Of the candidates that have
been named. We have better timber
than any of those fellers."
We'll said the major, yawning. Il
reckon we better go to bed, SO as to be
in trim for the work tomorrow.
II will show you the ROOM" the old
man remarked, arising.
The politicians We're shown into an
upper ROOM, and the old man, placing a
candle on the mantelpiece, babe them
goodnight and went down stairs.
What noise was that?' the major
asked when the old man had quilted the
room.
Il didn't hear any noise, the colonel
answered.
Il did; it sounded like some n gasp
ing for breath"
He might nave heard a noise-might
have heard old John struggling to sup
press his laughter.
Suppose we go to bed" said the
major.
"All right. You go ahead and ! will
blow out the candle.
They talked for some time before lying
down; then. after a long silence. the col
onel uttered a deep growl. The major
reached over and gave him a rake with
the comb.
"What the deuce are yon doing?' ex-
claimed the colonel, springingup in bed.
What do you mean And in his rage
he began to CRATE his teeth.
The major. supposing that he was get
ting ready to begin biting, reached over
and gave him another rake.
you Internal idiot!' yelled the colo
mel, feeling for the majors hair. "if |
don't wool you I'm a shote."
"Wha are you doing?" howled the
major. Let so, or I'll hurt you! Quit,
1 tell you! Haven't you got any sense:"
The major had found his hair.
''Ill let you know what it is to rake
the life out of me with Il crescent saw"
q was doing it to oblige you. you
COMPOUNDED wolf! Let so my hair
"Oblige me! Do you take me for a
saw log? Look ont, If You hit me
again I'll pull every hair out of your
head,"
They tumbled out on the floor, rolled
over and over, and then overturned a
tottering old wardrobe that came down
upon them with Il crash. The major
swore that he was dead. and the colonel
yelled for a light, but no light came.
Had they listened they might have heard
another noise that sounded as if sone
one were breathing hard. The old man
was in the hall shaking the railing of
the stairway. The major was the first
to scramble to his feet.
81 will throw you out of this window"
he exclaimed.
"And if | can find my pistol I'll shoot
the top of your head Off howled the
colonel.
This threat so frightened the major
that he gathered up his clothes as best
he could and rushed from the room
why. what's the NATTER" the old
man asked when the major came down.
Nothing, only | I'm going away to
| get a cannon and then come back and
blow that fool into eternity"
did he try to bite you:"
He tried to kill me, that's what he
tried to do"
why didn't you rake him:"
Il did rake him."
"Humph!' grunted the old man; 'he
must have lost his peculiarly. What,
you are not going out in such a night as
this?'
YES, | am, for if | see that fool again
I'll have to cut his throat. Good-by."
Shortly after the major left, the
colonel came down. why, look here"
said he; Il growled just as you told me
to do, and | wish | may die if that fellow
didn't come within one of ripping my
life out of me-"
Mighty sorry to hear it. He must
have changed since / know'd him so
we'll"
When the convention met next day
other so violently that neither Of them
could win, and at an opportune time.
old John Perdue stepped in and received
the nomination. -Opie P. Read in New
York World.
a Noted Doctor Who Was Shy.
Abarnetbv- an eminent Ison1o7, e11r-