The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-03-13
Or. cuNsAuLus.s NEck1IE.
IL Came Near Making Hia Preachers
Railroad Pass OF No Avall.

HnHrunu Bnas OF NO Avail
The Rev. Dir. +. W. Gunsaulus had
an interesting experience out In Ari-
znnn last summer. II will bear mar
rating. II seems that a friend In Lon
don. aware of the reverend gentle-
mans fondness for vivid color. sent
DR. Gnnsaulus bright red necktie.
There Is NO other red necktie In the
world quite as red as a British red
necktie; IL is the consummation. the
apotheosis, OF redness. When DIR.
Gunsanlus elapped his eyes on that
red neektie he was dazzled ed-nay. he
was stunned--by It's terrific spleudor.
As quickly as he could he put Il away.
Il must not wear Il. said he TO him
self lit Is too wicked for this part OF
the world. | will reserve II for Ari-
zona.n
Ii Is true that DIR. Gunsaulus had l65
acres of wheat out Ia Arizona that
needed looking after, but 1t Il more
than likely that an ambition 10 wear
that new, splendid red necktie in
spired in DR.. Gunsaulus ceaseless
yearning To go west. AT any rate he
went accompanied by his son. little
fellow OF 10 or ~ years OF age.
To such as have never seen DR. Gun
I
affects when inspecting wheat or hunt
ing rare bibliomaniac finds In Arizona
we will say that this costume Is
strange to the degree of weirdness; its
most conspicuous feature is black
| felt hat with an enormous flexible
brim. An especial flavor of spiee-of
wiekedness, If you please-was given
To this costume by the superb red
necktie. To be candid. DIR. Gunsaulus,
attired for Arizona looked very like
/ one of those far western characters of
/ which Bret Harte loves 10 treat
Now II happened that DIR. Gunsaulus
/ travelled on free pass free pass
! obtained through the kindly Offices OF
i one of the influential lambs Of his
! Iloek. This free pass was made con-
tinuous all the way from Chicago 10
Arizona and back again, II fell clear
| ly within the lines Of the Interstate
commerce act. for II was made out 10
the account OF (and was TO be paid in)
advertising.
This free pass worked all right un-
/ til DIR. Gunsaulus struck the Santa Fe
/ country. II was then that coarse
unfeeling. one-eyed conductor came
through the train collecting tickets at
the point of n Notwithstanding horse
pistol. He had been sheriff of a county
In New Mexico. aud was n Thing oi
Blood.
.Tieketsi demanded this fierce
monster.
DIR. Gunsaulus mildly produced his
free pass. The conductor read the
free pass The unhallowed fire OF
skeplicism iliumined his cyclopean
optic.
Watts yer nameP" asked the con-
ductor.
The Rev. +. w. Gunsaulus,n an
swered the holy man.
The conductor took rs rapid view
of DIR. Gunsaulus ns his one eye would
admit of
mo, yer don'tr' exclaimed the con-
duetor. brutally. Yer don't play
that game on mel Yer no preacher y
Indeed | am. aud very good
preacher, too demonstrated DIR. Gun
saulGs
Come. now said the conductor,
tits no use OF yer tryin' TO come any
monkey business with me; | reckon
know dominic when | see him.
Yer'll have 10 put up yer good money
or get olT'n the traini'
There seemed To be no alternative.
DR.. Gnnsaulus looked out of the car
window; il would never do for him Ia
be set down IN that desert of cactuses
and prairie dogs. He sought TO reason
with the conductor; every gift, every
power, every artifice Of eloquence at
his command he brought To bear upon
the callous creature, but all in vain.
In vain also did the reverend gentle.
mans little boy plaintiyely but stoutly
maintain that papa was minister
the unregenerate heart of that cunduc-
tor was not TO be moved.
No dominy ever wore necktie
like that" said the conductor. "Yerl
have to put up the stuff or git of'n th,
train"
DIR. Gunsaulus did put up. but no
until he had secured receipt therefor
from the one-eyed skeptic. The mex
three hours were hours of misery. fol
not even so iong-suffering and 5,
patient clergyman as DIR. Gunsaulu
cares To be separated from his worldly
possessions by the unfeeling agent of {
soulless railway corporation. Blu
about a hundred miles further dowI
the road the mayor of Santa Fe board
ed the train, and lie was happily abl,
to identify DIR. Gunsaulus rs being in
deed entitled to all the perquisites an,
courtesies involved in and entailed b,
that free pass. So the one-eyed con
ductor disgorged the money and mad
an apology as best he could.
1--WE been livin' out here now 70
goin' on twenty-three years" said he
land I've seen every kind of human
bein', from bonanza kings down t.
three-card monte sharks, but | neve
seen preacher with a red neckti
aforei Say, pardner. yer daisy, III
beti Although it's agin the rules.
don't mind lookin' at yer if yer've go