davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
DISCIPLINE OF FISHES.
They are Drilled ~ Carefully No .
stN @ Army

They are Drilled rs Carefully NJ m
Army.
Like troops going out to war, tish
have officers. pioneers. skirmish line
on each flank, rear guard-everyt thing
which pertains to an army OF troops.
except stragglers. Human troops have
same level as themselves; the fish are
liable to attack from above and from
below as well; therefore corps of sap
pers and miners keeping even pace be-
low them and force of scouts keeping
even pace overhead accompany each
army. When the watcher, leaning over
the rail of his boat, sees three of the
mullet swimming cautiously along, one
directly over the other, he may know
the army will soon follow If he himself
be careful not to arouse the suspicious
of the scouts
The three fish swim slowly on. each
alert for any danger on his particular
plane; sharp eye win discern SINH
lar group few feet away, and perhaps
| a third NAV be seen more distant still
| A few fathoms in the rear will be seen
| the solid school of fish swimming along
unconcernedly with perfect confidence
| in the watchfulneSS of their scouts
Similar parties of three are detected on
| each flank, and above and below the
main army are single fish deployed at
regular distances If any sea bird
seems to threaten a plunge the over
head scouts sink to the main body which
at once moves down to level of great
er safety; if the lower tier of scouts
spies danger in the crannies of the coral
bottom they swim upward and the
obedient school rises nearer TO the sur
face until the peril is past The flank
ing parties are ever on the lookout for
rapacious fish of larger kind which ind
dainty meal in the mullet
Drill and tactics are best displayed
when the school is about to enter q
basin in the coral. their chosen feeding
ground The main body halts at the
entrance and adopts a still more com
pact formation by closing up their
ranks and resting on different levels.
The thanking parties set out right and
left about the pool, leaving three senti-
nels at every opening which gives upon
the broader sea without The guides
swim across the basin in every direction
until satisfied that 1t is free from dan
ger; then, after inspecting the guard at
every pass, return to the school Only
now does the great body of fish enter
the pool and scatter to feed upon the
bottom. A guard is left at the entrance,
while the guides swimming near the
surface look out for dangers from the
air
Soon some of the fish feeding at the
bottom leave the Others apparently In
response to some signal. BY three'
they swim to the several passages to re
lieve the pickets, and others rise to thu
surface to take the place of those OF
duty there No matter how long thu
school may remain in its feeding place
the precautions are never relaxed ane
twice or thrice an hour the guard Is re
lieved in the orderly fashion OF disci
; plined soldiery. Trade.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

The meeting at the LIST Baptist church
last Sunday, was In many respects mod,
81 one. Not more than once year 90
churches celebrate theiraDnual anniversary
by outdoor basket meetings. They bring
together many lame man and woman,
people both old and young, whose spirit
ual interest is broadened BY reason OF an
unbonnded social air. Last Sunday on
the north side of the Kaw the good people
flocked in large numbers to the annual
feast Of the above church. Revs. =. Coins
and K. nj. Cohran were the preachers
The choir sang well. Prominent among
the huge basketfulls Of eatables wer
spring chickens $50 was collected.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
SMALL BOY AND CIGARETTE.
If the Former Had the Making OF Ordi-
nances We Would Probably Smoke.

II the Former hau the Maklhs VI oEu~
nances We Would Probably Smoke.
A big man went into store in one of
the suburbs the other day and asked the
woman for cigar. While he was
lighting it small boy came in and,
reaching up to the fullest extent OF
slender arm, tapped with a penny on
the glass show case and said: Give me
a cents worth of cigarettes.
'Who do you want them for?" asked
the woman. The small boy was silent
for a moment, and then, at a venture,
mentioned a name she did not recog-
nize.
els he a man or boy?" persisted the
woman, having the ordinance and a
possible prosecuting witness before her
ewes. The lad confessed reluctantly
the person who wanted the cigarettes
was a boy. ''Then you can't have
Them" said the woman with frmness.
1T is against the law, and won't sell
them to boys"
That's right" said the big man, TAX
ing his cigar from between his lips and
suspending the work of lighting 1t.
That's right" and he bowed approval
at the prudent woman. GLAD to hear
Won take that stand" He felt quite a
glow of virtue, quite warmth of salts
| faction at being able to commend
probity, till his eye fell on the small
boy glaring at him and backing toward
/ the door.
"You'se a great big duffer," said the
small boy with grieved and angry ex-
| preston Oats what you Is You
smoke cigar like dat and den you 81
agin us havin' cigarettes.
And somehow the man felt ashamed
of himself.-Chicago Herald
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
STOPPED TOO SUDDENLY.
Experience OF Two Old Darkies in Rail
road Collision.


road Collision.
The other day an excursion train
down south, crowded with darkies was
running along at the rate of forty miles
an hour. when, going around a short
curve, the engine collided with a little
bull. The engine turned somersault
over the bull, and lit bottom upward
down an embankment The tender
took after it, but hit big
tree and broke in two. Then
the cars, one after another, reared up,
turned over jumped on top OF each
other and lay in one big promiscuous
pile, while all space around and above
the wreck was filed with darkies,
women and men. baskets, pieces of cars
and seats. Remarkable to relate, not
soul was killed. and only few OF
them were slightly hurt The little bull
was cut to pieces.
Two old colored women, who had
never been on the cars before, and who
were seated near each other talking
when the crash came. went out through
the top of a car and lit in the grass for
ty feet apart. After looking about
them in bewildered state of mind.
they presently sat up and eyed each
| other for minute or two. Then one
| of them showed her bonnet up off her
face, and looking at the other, who was
! trying to get her hat loose from the
/ back of her neck. said:
''Iz dat you, Mandy?"
Yeas! Whar liz we?"
Dress de Lawd, honey, don't ak me. y
'Iz dis whar we git off?''
81 spec it is; | nebber went ter pic
mic on kyars afo. One thing sho'
we got off ad' nobody didn't halter tell
us to git off, needer."
''No. dey didn't"
''Did yer eber see niggers git ofn dc
kyars in sech er hurry-de ar wuz full
OBJ 'em."
Yeas! Dey acted lack dey hab nc
sense
Look heah! Eff dey gwan ter stoI
dat sudden ter let us off when dey car
ries back home, Use gwanter walk.
don't mind gwine fas', but dis stoppin
so suddin an frowin' people 'dout ebeI
sayin' look fo' yo'selves.'
Oats wat jects to myself, an"
Say, Hester, is you seed my baskl
anywhar since we lit?"
''Well, Mandy, de las seed OBJ 20
baskit it was chasin' mine froo the a
toard hebbin, an passed. o niggahs
sum gwine up an sum comm down, e
grabbin' fo' EN-"
Glow fur liz we fom town.
''Foteen miles"
'How is yo' feet TO- walkin'?"
"Well dey's good ez yourn, reckon.
''Den les take de pike-no kyars fc
me-"
Oats me-" and the two cold girls
walked back home in ignorance that al
accident had occurred to the picnl
train.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

Mrs. r.. McBrOwn entertained rum
her OF friends, at her residence on Ind.
st.. Thursday evening. Among those
present were Mesdames. T. Buckner and
NJ. Langston of Topeka. And excellent
supper was served and all present reported
good time.
The following named persons are duly
authorized to solicit subscribers for TIL
HISTORIC TIMES: Mesdames l.. Craig, l.
Johnson, Misses Mamie Johnsoh, Eva
Jones and Carrie Langston. Any favo
the public may show to these ladies vii
be acknowledged by this paper.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
". w. @. A.

The gospel meeting Of the y. ". g. a.
met as usual at the End Baptist church.
Sunday, at 400 p. Nj. The meeting was
conducted By Mrs. r. Burns, her discourse
was short but refreshing, reminding US
OF the goodness Of God. we would be
60 pleased if our yonng ladies would take
more interest in these meetings and help
out In the good work for there is plenty
or it. Think OF the good privileges we
have to serve God while others have none.
Come, wo give you hearty welcome.
BETTY JONES,
Gon,U
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

The regular methodist quarterly meet
Ing was held at st. Luke's Chapel Sunday,
Rev. Melchor officiating, but owing 70
the fact that the pastor, Rev. q. j. Mer-
ritz, was called to Topeka to attend the
funeral OF friend, the attendance was
not as good nor the usual interest taken
az there would have been had he been
present The collection for the day was
comparatively good taking the hard times
among our people in consideration. we
can also frankly say that the A M. r.
church has one or the best choir in the city.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
HE KNEW SHE WOULD BE MAD.

But He Had Lost His Keys. So He Had
to Wake Her Up.
Just as he reached the foot of the
steps he put his hand into one OF his
trousers pockets and then calculated:
''What in thunder!"
Then he felt in another pocket, and
muttered:
"Well, I'll be hanged!"
He stopped and thought for a mo-
ment, and then tried his vest pockets.
Next he tried those in his coat
Every ones asleep, too" he NUT
tered as he paused in front of the door.
81 wonder where | could have left
them"
He went through his pockets again
and then sat down on the top step to
think the matter over
She'll be hopping mad if wake her
up" he muttered, land no excuse will
go. But what else am ! going to do?"
He sighed, made third search of his
pockets, and then got up with a look of
determination on his face and gave
several vicious yanl<s at the door-bell
80, me! 0, My! Won't she be mad,
thought" he soliloquized.
And she was.
80, it's you, is it?" she exclaimed
when she opened the door. What did
you wake me up for?"
my dear" he said, alphabetically, 81
couldn't get in"
''Did you try?" she asked.
"Why, no, my dear" he explained.
"You see / lost my keys to-day"
II know it. l found them on the
bureau, and so left the door unlocked
for you"
Then she marched back to bed, and
he swore that he would never again
take it for granted that anything was
| loolyad -Chicapo Tribune
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
CRUSHED THE CONDUCTOR.

He Tried to Brighten the Fisherman, but
Was Laughed at for His Pains.
Three fishermen got on the train at
Cedar Lake and started south for
night ride home They had long
string of bass with which to prove their
stories when they should come to tell
them, and enough of good humor to in
dictate that, whether or not they were
in good spirits, good spirits were GER
tainly in them. The conductor came
along-one of those proud conductors
who think they own the rolling stock
and hold a reversionary interest in the
passengers: one of these naughty men
who escape all the unpleasant things
of life by frightening people into obei-
sances. He looked at the first fisher
mans ticket, gazed at it severely and
plared into the undaunted eye of the
passenger. Here was scalp"
"How much did you pay for that
ticket?" he demanded loud enough for
all the people in the car to hear. They
heard. and looked around at the crlml-
nal.
ssNot blank cent" said the fisher
man, stoutly. II am friend of the
fellow who robbed the ticket Office at
Louisville and he gave it to me. They
! said | couldn't catch bass up here with
ont minnows'' He turned over his
string to call attention to it and went
on without an instant's hesitation. The
conductor had started out to bluff him.
He would make merry with the con
ductor. said had to have minnows-
But / just caught lot of frogs-large'
fat fellows, you know-and took their
hind legs, and'-a moments pause as
he looked innocently up into the con
ductor's face-''did you ever use cay
enne pepper"
No"
| mo? Well, don't. Sneeze yourself
to death sure as thunder if you do
And he turned from his most irreveren'
lapse and settled himself to sleep, while
all the passengers Joined in a laugh a
the crushed conductor Her
LID
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
He Was n Brute.

He was up stairs rummagiug around
looking for a clean shirt when he heard
his wife scream.
Come down stairs quick" she yelled
swell, wait till | get a shirt" ne
yelled back II can't find one high nor
low. Where in thunder are they?'
ooh, John, john she walled, "let
the shirt go and come down here quick,
the baby's swallowed a collar button.
"Confound that baby" he growled'
throwing a coat around his shoulders
81 wonder Il the shirts gone with the
collar button"
The baby was all right when he got
down stairs and his wife nearly had
fit when he asked her if the shirt had
gone with the collar button Detroit
Free Press.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
The CONDUCTOR "cAvED."
%0 Met With a Character That Was
Too Many for Him.

&o Met With a Character That Was
Too Many for Him.
On West Madison street car the
other day was woman. She boarded
it at Ashland avenue, and very deter
minded -lookirg party she was, too. She
was big and forty, and her black eyes
and thin, straight lips gave her face
character which didn't awaken any de-
sire even in the most sportive youth on
the car to attempt to have any fun with
the lady.
She boarded the car rather leisurely.
gazed with considerable suspicion at
the conductor, who pulled the bell as
soon as she was on the step, and while
yet standing on the platform dived
down into concealed pocket and tished
out dime. She held it out to the con-
ductor, he reached for it, but somehow
the woman dropped the dime too soon,
and it bounced off the platform and
| jingled down into the cable-slot of the
uptown track.
"An your awkwardness, stupid"
snapped out the female. Your fingers
are all thumbs You deserve to lose
ten cents for your carelessness-" I'm
sorry, madam, replied the conductor
meekly, ''but / didn't touch the coin.
You dropped it before could reach it. I"
whats that? Don't you dare give
me any of your impudence, young man,
You ring up that fare at once, and give
me my change"
II will have to have another fare,
madam, or you will have to get off the
car"
What! Well, of all the impertinent,
sassy, lying little snipes ever met, If
you amt the worst! Rob me of my
money, will you? Put me off the car?
Say. young man, you hand over that
nickel and ring up that fair or I'll see
who'll go off the car. Put me off the
car! I'll call policeman and have you
up for robbery and insult and SANDER,
will; and I'll report you to the dlrec'
tors of the company as soon as gel
back home. You impudentpuppy, you
If my husband wasn't dead and in his
grave I'd have you hammered till you
wouldn't try to get on cal
for month You wouldn't try to rot
me if you didn't know l was poor
lone widow whose children have
all moved out west and who has no one
to protect her from impudent, sassy
, | loafers who think because they veal
brass buttons they can curse and sweal
at every woman who tries to
| Tears were about to break in on thu
TRADE and the conductor, who hat
turned several succeeding shades of red
: unable to get word in edgewise in hi
own defense, quickly handed the WON
, an a nickel and made a rush to tn
front platform. AS he did she signale'
to be let off and started back uptown
e with triumph in her eyes and the air
a woman who had ridden past he
| street and didn't care. Chicago Times
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

Father of Eleven Daughters tprowi-
ing about with lighted lamp)-There' 8
one of the girls that hasn't come in
yet
Mother of Same think You are
mistaken. william They're all up
stairs
81 know what | am talking about
Elizabeth. There's only ten wads ut
gum ON the back of this bureau--Chi-
cavo Tribune
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

Everybody are anticipating q grand
lime on the LIST. If the finest grove In the
,,,oat and multitudes Of people from sur
ronnding cities, good music and speaking
will produce good time you may expect
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
NOTICE.

The advertising of all concerts, festi-
yaIs. socials and other public gatherings,
the object Of which is to make money a
charge Of cents per line will be made,
X otherwise tree.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

A surprising discovery has lately
been made by a relative OF the man
who observed that Providence was kind
enough 20 cause the large rivers to run
by the big cities The new discovery
Is that almost invariably the big sdver-
tisements are run by large and success
ful business houses--Tolcdo Blade.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

All lob work promptly attended to By
the TIMES PUB. 70.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
WonIdn,t Ret His Shirt.

Senator Vest is considered the best
poker player in the upper house. He
nearly always wins A while ago he
was at Hot Springs, Ark, with Senator
Kenna Society there was little
mixed, and so it happened that a very
gentlemanly drummer from St Louis
made third with them in little game
of draw. 1t was perfectly fair, but
Vest lost all the money he had, bor-
rowed more and saw it disappear. and
finally had to give two or three notes OF
hand to square himself before dropping
out. Thereupon he leaned back in his
chair, tanning himself and enjoying
the sport as spectator. Presently the
st. Louis drummer between the hands,
began to make some complimentary re-
marks on very beautiful and elabor-
ate shirt which Vest had on. He took
the liberty of feeling the texture of the
garment, and. after ascertaining how
much it had cost, remarked that ne
would like to own such a one himself
Gentlemen" said Vest, rising from
his chair with an air of seriousness, j
will bid you good night You may rot
me of all the money ! have and all
can borrow, but I'm cursed If you car
qet my Washington Star.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

when you want square meal at the
lowest price 90 to J. II. johnson on War
rem st.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

Jinks-why do you offer such
large reward for the return Of thar con-
temptbIe pug dog?
Winks-To please my wife
Jinks-But such q reward wiz Be
sure TO bring him back
mo, il won't He's dead W. I.
Weekly.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

cnhscribe for the Historic TIMES, only
sl.OO per year.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25

posnre and attend ''Little Chick" next
r,esday night at the G. A. r. Hall.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
What Got.

Did they give you anything at the
farmhouse?" asked Pete, the tramp
Yep Pair o boots
''Whatcher done with emp"
II lef them where they were. On the
farmers feet"-N Y. Herald
A cross-town car was swinging
along its route the other night when
portly, well-dressed man caught the
car without stopping it As he drew
himself upon the front platform he
handed cigar to the driver, and the
driver turned the reins over to the pas
senger and stood back against the door
with his hands in his pockets The
passenger was a well-known horse
dealer, fond of driving. but getting few
chances to indulge the taste He said
he had sold twenty-seven horses that
dav. but had not driven one To make
sure OF one pull of the reins every day
he caught that particular car and drove
II for mile on his homeward way
n T. Sun
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
A Real Grievance.

II don't know what Smith does with
his money"
MOP"
NO don't Yesterday he was short
and he Is short again to-day"
Ibid he want TO borrow from your
nNo. hang il. | wanted to borrow
from him. IN. y. Press
I'm 1874, when Rev. DR.. Howard
Crosby was student at the University
of the City Of New York, his physicians
assured him that he would not live a
year, as one of his lungs was destroyed
He outlived the physicians who told
him so, and survived the prediction
nearly forty-seven years
Charles Dudley Warmers wife Is q
fine musician, and one of the pleasant
est rooms in their charming house at
Hartford is the music room, with It's
grand piano aud many curios picked up
in foreign lands Yet for all his pleas
ant surroundings in Hartford II is said
Mr. Warner would prefer 10 live in
southern California Climate enforces
its claims on sensitive natures
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
ONLY to Fool Teacher.

Little Annie had been having trouble
with her lessons and had turned for as
sistance to her big brother. He did the
sums for her, handed her the paper and
resumed his readings She was soon
hack at his side, however, and he in
quired:
whats the matter; aren't they all
right?"
tOh. YES. indeed They are ever so
nice: but won't you please put few
mistakes in so that teacher will think /
did it."-WashingtOn Post
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-25
Chicago & Alton Railroad


Passengers travelling In any dirscsivn Win con.
suit their own Interests and promote their owa
comfort by taking the Chicago q Altoa RallruaA
whenever that line eau be used Ea@ tha whale os
part OF journey. The Chicago q Aia0n ailroAa
IL the only completely stone hallassem line running
between the cities OF ST. Loals. Kasaaaa civ "a
Chicago. This line has the proud record az AelnR
the hrst road In the world 10 adopt Pnilmaa asap-
ing Cars, Dining Cars reclining ChaiF ears ana the
first road 70 incorporate thess three nKmfons FEAT
ures Of modern travel In yestihnled iralna. TIE
for seats in lie magnificent and laxaranns ralacs
Reclining Chair Cars, which are FuA In III through
trains. day and night, nor for passage ID any of Ii
fast, famous aud solid
vEsTIBuLkD LIMITED TRAHRs.
CONSERVING OF
NEW SMOKING CARS.
-: e: :: \:
running through without chsnes. between
ST LOUIS AND kANsAsCfTY,
ST. LOUIS AND CHICAGO.
KANSAS CRY AND cnlcA0o.
DENVER AND CHICAGO,
ALSO NEw AID srRaan
PULLMAN PARL0R nuFsEr CARS
On pAS TRAINS
ANp NEW uRnQuALlKn
PULLMAN COMPARTMENT sLkkPlN0 CARS
Miamr gnAfNe
BETWEEN ST. LOUIS AND CHICAGO
The best and connections are male ii Uaiow
Depots ~. Louis, kAat -. L0aIs, Kanaas ciiy,
Chicago and Bloom lnKt0n.
Ask yonF own Home Ticket Agent fns tsoksta vie
the Chicago 4 Alton Railroad, aud thus secure she
lowest rates. the Quickest time, and The besa &C.
| Communications.
chicago q Alton Railway Tsrksa oasee..
4 ST. LouIs-2ls North Broad way near olive sIFves
/ and Union Depot.
| East 81. Loula-Relay Depot
| Kansas Clty-SN Main Street. less umlaa Aveaus
i Opposite Union Depus). and Unlon peR0t.
chicaRo-lSs south Clark Street ard wsss Side
Union Depot.
Information ~ 70 rates. uEna, connaesIoua, etc.
| will be cheerfully Furnished on application 10
d. HOWks.
Gent Western passneef ARsnt,
2i6 North Broadway. 81. Loals. 10