The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-20
BRIGHT BITS.

FRANK-Should ask you to be my wife would
you offer to be my sister?
May-No, your sisters sister.-NetU York Her
aid.
WHAT allied you last night? Were you sick!n
Had anawful nightmare. Dreamed opened
a jack pot with four aces pat and no one came
in. "-NeU York Recorder.
THE EMPEROR OF CHINA TO Minister Blair(-
Welcome, Confucius OF the western world We
will have your speeches dramatized and played
in 1917 acts and eighty-two tableaux.-PucE.
BAeLEY-Did you ever have horror of being
buried alivei
Brace-Yes; but it all left me after 1 had
lived little while in Philadelphia. -BrookIyn
Life.
MAS and Sapphira for lying was pretty severe?
Brace-Why so?
Bagley-It was about real estate deal. you
know. -MunSev's Weekly
sHE-Will you always love me, dear, just the
same as you do now?
He-Always.
She-You wretched thing Why didn't you
protest that every year you would love me
moref-SomerulLe Journal.
The MAJAH-Has that fellow answered your
challenge, colonelS
Colonel-He has, sab; but | shall not fight
him. He refused TO meet me unless l would
promise to buy my coffin of his brother. who is
beastly undertaken. Indianapolis Journal
WIFE-I wish you'd tell the nurse to wash
baby's face and hands and put on his clean
clothes.
Husband-Why, my dear, are you going to
take the baby out this kind of weather?
mo, darling, thought I'd let him pay with
Fido awhile. "-BrooklVn Life.
FLEDcELY-As it is all over with us, 1 wish
you would return me the ring and watch gave
you.
Alice-I cannot give them to you until after
Lent
Fledgely-But insist upon them now.
Alice-You know, Mr., Fledgely, that cannot
indulge in any pleasure during this season.
Jetcelers' Weekly.
me so badly; well, got even with him the other
night started to call on Miss Sandstone and
just as was about to ring the bell looked in
through the window, and saw he was there and
that sue was singing to him.
Cleverton-And then you went in and sat on
him.
Dashaway-No, didn't. 1 went away and let
her keep on singing. -HarDer's 6Gzar
Mr.. HARVEST { at Florida HoteD-The lady
you were talking to appears TO be a person Of
very high social standing.
Mrs. FARwEsT-She is. She knows every
body worth knowing.
"Whers does she liver"
In New York, presume. heard her say
she spent six months of every year in Florida
and the other six in Maine. ''-Ne,C York
Weekly.
Brown Well, must say Skinner is the luck
lest mortal l ever knew You know he's been
the boss promoter of the Slumgullion Invest
ment company of Alatexas? Well, sir the con-
Germ went all TO pieces yesterday. and the stock,
which has been selling at par, isn't worth the
paper it is written onl No, sir; and il you'll
believe it, Skinner sold out his last share the
day before the collapsed II that isn't luck, I'd
like to know what you call it,
Fogg Yes. that's luck; the kind of luck that
fills our prisons Boston Transcript.
WELL-DREssED SrRANGER-Madam, in the up
per hand pocket of a vest that you gave to a
miserable tramp few months ago there was q
cigar belonging to your husband. have
Lady of the House-Why, is this the same
man? What great change
Stranger-Yes, rich uncle died suddenly and
left me all his wealth. AS was about to say. I
have to thank your husband.
Lady of the House-Why, what for?
Stranger-For the cigar. l gave it to nv
uncle.-NeD York Clothter and rurnisher