The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-10-04
sUNFLowER sILHoUErrEs.

The price of land is picking up in Kan
sas. Realty is becoming reality.
Does advertising pay? 1t was Kansas
man who advertised for girl, and the
next day his wife presented him with
twins
"Are you a third party mani" ''No,
sir; am first party man. There. !"
said the first speaker, ''goes durn Repub-
lican."
Ever since PETERS election there has
been growing sentiment in Kansas that
the term Of United States senator is by
five years too long.
Alex Butts claims that Methodist min
ister can be distinguished by his habit of
pounding the pulpit. This makes Ber-
nard Kelley an ex-pounder.
The man who thinks the Republican
papers ridicule PETER, Simpson and Lease
too much is the very first fellow to laugh
when anybody cracks Ingalls, or Plumb.
1t is an item worthy OF note that all the
inventors of farming machinery and every
| contrivance to ameliorate the farmers
condition today have been and are Repub-
| licans.
John H. Whitson of Garden City has
written serial story of the Kansas boom
for an eastern publication, which will ap-
pear soon. 1t will not be fiction to good
sized contingent in the east.
If political failure in Kansas was follow
| ed as in France, with fatal despondency,
the undertaking business would be far
the greatest industry in the state, and
every November would resemble mas
sacre.
The Alliance has song book and the
Republicans have a volume of rally
rhymes. A great deal of singing is done
during campaign in Kansas, but most of
the whistling comes after the votes are
counted.
Fred Vandergriff of the Atchison Globe,
it is said, can get more ''inside news" in
Topeka in ten minutes than any other
newspaper man in Kansas can get in a
week. And nobody knows the string Van
dergrif pulls.
''Why do you regard your chances so
flattering in a political way?" said one
man to another. "What string have you
got to pull2" "Great Caesar, man." came
the reply, IL demand recognition for the
greatest cause of all The Republican
party is fighting me-"
"Why does that man belong to the ALL
ance"
Don't you knowi"
''No. don't"
"Why, he sings bass"
''Well, 1 don't see what that has to do
with it."
HAS to carry so many heavy notes.
See?"
Truth after all, is stranger than fiction,
and it is with a mysterious reverence we
convinced that we are only creatures of
circumstance. Jerry Simpson was made
notorious by the story that at his Wichita
meeting he pulled up his pantaloons and
showed his bare shank. 1t is decidedly
'chestnutty" to talk of Simpsons socks.
but the truth should be known. 1t all
came from the fact that he turned up the
bottom of his trouser-leg to pick out
sand-burr
Senator Plumb has withdrawn all the !
land he owns from the market. There is |
not an acre of it for sale. He makes the |
prediction that all the corn land in this |
country which is located within reach of
market will be worth S10e an acre before |
the year 1900. He quite agrees with G |
Wood Davis in regard to the future indie |
pendence of the American farmer He |
says this result is inevitable in view of the |
rapidly increasing population of the coun-
try and the rapid diminution of the public
domain. Mr.. Plumb predicts that within
ten years the man who owns l60 acres of
good land will be considered rich.
A man who was convalescing from the
jim-jams very properly crawled under the
counter which held the canned fruit, jel-
lies, etc., at the fair yesterday.
Charles H. Krebs has been nominated
by the Republicans of Atchison county for
county clerk for the ninth time.
Alliance Politician Farmer Jones,
can't you come in to town day after to-
morrow and hear Senator PETER on the
issues of the day?"
Farmer-''Well, I'm sorry, but have
got so much on hand that L can't possibly
come. There is all that wheat to be
threshed; my buggy is out of keller and
my wife is not feeling well enough for me
10 leave her. Good day to you, sir"
Republican Politician (ten minutes later:
Farmer JONES' can't you come in tomor-
-ow and hear Senator Plumb on the isues
If the day?"
Farmer-"Come in; well, gashding your
soul, / should say 1 cound. Plumb and
ne is old friends. Just keep seat for me
whole family, old woman, too She was !
never in better health in her life, thank
7ou. just bought new carriage yester- g
lay. Yes, sir; every bit of my wheat is |
hreshed. Disappoint you; Well, guess I
lot. I'll be there !