davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
LITTLE LAUGHS.
WARNING.


On her hand gem that burns;
Virgin cheek that rosy turns;
In her heart a joy that sings
To her souls strange questionings.
Ewes so softly, newly wise,
Voice 80 apt in low replies
Little maiden, such as this
Follows fast a lovers kiss,
-Dorothed LUnnis, in Puck.
He-What can do to make you happy?
She-Do without.
He-Without what?
She-Me.-Chicd0O NelcS.
Miss De Smell (angrily)-You told me
this horseshoe lace pin would bring me good luck,
and now Count De Moneyhunt has proposed to
another girl and my poodle is dead
Jeweler-Madame, what more could heart desire2
-,Tttoeler'S Weekly.
Gus DeSmith-I see by the papers that
the Car has been enjoying the pleasure of the chase
in the Jabonski forest, near Warsaw.
Gilhooly-What luck did he have?
Gus DeSnth-Splendid. He came back alive
Te1us SVtira0s.
''Why is it," asked stranger, "that you
Americans are so anxious to discover the North
Pole?''
''Oh - replied experienced globe-trotter, 1--WE
Americans are great travellers, you know, and We
want some place to write our names on.'-
Someruiits Journal.
81 never use tobacco No!
sT've never touched 1t yet!''
And then he took n match and lit
His nasty cigarette. Chicago Trib.cne.
eff your husband stays out so late every
night, 1 should think he would suffer from loss Of
Sleep
''Oh, he has all day to sleep, he is serving on q
Jury. ''-Ne1o York Press.
Jimmy BrIggs-I wish my big sister was
brother. A sister amt no fun at all.
Tommy Figg-Ain't? wy. have my sister cry
ing mad all day y.-hldiaHap0ifS Journal.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
ENGLAND'S ROYAL LINE.
Its History Since Its Origin in Kenneth Nc
Alpine, of the Ninth Century.


Nothing is so imperfectly understood in
the United States, aud perhaps i'll England.
as the origin of the royal family as it now is,
says an exchange. The English denounce
| the gallery of portraits of alleged Scottish
kings at Holyrood as fraudulent, for it seems
that some time in the past the English, in
vading Scotland under piratical claim to
the throne thereof, burned the pictures of
the kings and stole the stone on which those
kings were crowned, which is now to be
seen in Westminster Abbey. But the Scot
tish line, from which Victoria and the
Prince of Wales are also descended is sup
posed to begin with Kenneth MeAlpine, who
died in s5s and the twelfth of which kings
after him was Duncan, slain by his cousin
Macbeth in the year 1899, when WILL
lam the Norman was II years old.
Nine or ten kings interviewed to Robert
Bruce, whose daughter married Walter
Cook, the steward, said to have been named
Fitz-Allen. Seven kings interviewed before
Margarite of England married James ~.
This line got on the English throne in 1903,
four years before jamestown was settled
and II before Plymouth Rock. The peerage
books attempt to show what the house of
Guelph was, which entered the British royal
line with the HanoYerians. Nobody even
knows how to spell Guelph or Whelp or
Wolf, but it is claimed that he wasa younger
brother of Odoacer, the barbarian conQueror
of Italy, and settled in Bavaria and had half
q dozen successors, all of the same name or
near about, OF whom the seventh or eighth
was Crusader and married the sister of the
wife of William the Conqueror
In the course of time one of this family
acquired Brunswick, but he was poisoned
and his son was the celebrated Henry the
Lion, whose daughter became the second
wife of Henry II. of England, the father of
Richard and John. The fifth after Henry
the Lion was Ernest Augustus, elector of
Hanover, who married Sophia, the grand
daughter of James l. of England and their
first child was George l. The commercial
riches of England, and the influence of the
country as the parent stem upon many
colonies of which the most noted is the
United States, have made the royal family,
with its unbroken descent of some $50 years,
the capstone OF the general edifice in poll
tics and housekeeping called society. The
course of mankind is to struggle from OBJ
scurity by opportunity to independence,
and, having a good house and some income,
to look for society.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
AN ISDIscREET ADVOCATE.

Matthew Marshall, the financial writer
of the New York San, whose weekly ar
ticle is telegraphed to THE DISPATCH,
continues in the column published else
where to enlarge upon his theory that di-
rectors of great corporations cannot, and
therefore ought not to be expected to d.
rect
This writer admits that there is some
weight in the opinion of shareholders that
when they have been induced to invest on
the representation that their interests will
be guarded under the direction of certain
leading business men, the promise thus
held out should be fulfilled. But he takes
refuge in the plea that it is impossible for
the men holding directorships in numer-
GUS corporations to give the supervision
to the affairs of all their corporations that
is expected. The conclusion that such
financiers should lessen their number of
directorships does not occur to the
Wall street writer. Instead he en-
larges on the difficulty of max
ing corporations prosperous, the
constant efforts to get a share of their
funds without value received, and the
great opportunities for plundering them
all of which, it might be remarked, are
multiplied by the presence of directors
who do not direct.
Mr. Marshall's view is founded upon the
not uncommon but very illogical idea that
the existing practices in Wall street are
unimpeachable. But even for one holding
that view. his declaration of it is hardly
discreet. 1t will be difficult for any in
vestor to read his last two articles without
being very strongly impressed with the
conviction that corporations managed in
the way he recommends are very good
ones to steer clear of.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
GOSSIP ABOUT CELEBRITIES.

MARQUIS PRosPERo MARsIGLI, the
wealthy Italian noblemah who recently
died in Bologna, bequeathed 10000 lire to
the Pope to say masses for the repose of his
soul.
LIKE Ellen Terry, Sarah Bernhardt
pleads guilty to nervousness before the ris-
ing of the curtain. 81 am always nervous "
she SAYS, because 1 am intensely afraid OF
falling below my previous standard of act.
ing"
NJ. FERDINAND DE LESsEPS is so deeply
afflicted by the proceedings taken against
him by the administration of the Panama
Canal Company that his mental and bodily
health gives cause for great anxiety to his
family and his physicians.
REPRESENTATIVE CULBERsoN, of Tex
as, is one of the great judicial minds of the
House. He is large and somewhat phleg-
matte in body. No one ever accusedhim of
being anxious for routine work, but he made
q good judge down in Texas.
PRESIDENT PALMER of the Worlds
Columbian Commission, is nothing if not
polite. He is also something of a JOKER as
anyone who knows him we'll can testify. He
is especially noted, too, for the little atten-
tions he pays to women, and he always
stands ready to help a woman out of any
difficulty in which he happens to find her, if
reasonable assistance will do it.
Ex-EMPREss VICTORIA of Germany saws,
regarding domestics: LAS long as the
moral welfare of the domestics is not better
looked after remedy of the evil cannot be
expected. In the first place something
should be done to shorten the working
hours of servants, and then a little more
personal liberty should be allowed them
Not all of their demands are justifable, but
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
AN UNLUCKY WIGHT.

/ always was unfortunate,
Unlucky, and forlorn;
Misfortune came with my first BREATH:
On Friday l was born.
In childhood my reverses were
DiscOuraging to me,
Most every day 1 was reversed
Across my mothers knee.
As grew older my ill-luck
For Inc new anguish wrought.
At school the other rogues escaped,
But was always caught.
When proposed my evil star
Shone on my pathway still;
For said: 'Will you be my wife?',.
And she replied: II will.''
She proved a vixen, and she's been
The cause Of half my sins.
hardly need 10 tell you that
My first-born child was twins.
Since then my family cares have grown,
And surely you'll allow
That I'm unlucky when You know
I've thirteen children now,
do not know how It will end,
hardly think care,
But when old Gabriel blows his trump
know 1 sha'n't be there.
-Someruile Journal
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
UP IN A PARACHUTE, BOYS.

How the Daring Aeronaut Keeps Up His
90 Courage While Dropping.
New York Times.l
A young man has been entertaining the
multitude in this vicinity lately by dropping
from a balloon at an altitude of between
1000 and 5000 feet. The young man simply
clings to pair of stout rings, and para
chute does the rest He was asked the other
day if he did not get nervous sometimes at
the thought of being suspended half mile
or q mile above the earth.
He replied, "No, sir; l don't let myself
think of it. just begin coGntin' when the
balloon starts upward, and when 1 counts a
hundred 1 let go. Sometimes shuts my
eyes and keeps 'em shut till feels myself
coming down slow" This young man has IL
partner who, when asked how many times
he had dropped from an ascending balloon,
replied, with genuine modesty, "Only about
q Thousand" :"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
WAGES IN LIVERPOOL.

Mr. Edgar l.. Wakeman'S investigations
into the conditions of the working classes
of Liverpool present some stubborn
facts, on which the theory that the con-
dition of the English workers is equal to
that of American workingmen goes to
utter wreck. That the contrary is the
case is proved by the tide of immigration
which has been flowing this way for more
than a generation; but Mr.. Wakeman's
figures set forth the details in way that
is most convincing.
Mr.. Wakeman, as will be seen by his
letter in yesterdays DISPATCH, very posi-
lively contradicts the theoretical idea that
the wages which the English workingmen
get have greater purchasing power than
the equivalent wages of the American
WORKER. Rents are cheaper owing to
lower rates of interest, and clothing is
alleged to be cheaper. But great share
of the difference in both cases is due to the
fact that the English laboring classes live
in houses and wear clothes which the
American workman of like standing
would net accept. In the vast range
of food articles the American worker
has the great advantage. Until the sugar
duty was repealed in this country we had
to pay more for sugar; but now it is more
than ever the fact that the American
workman eats better food, lives in better
house and wears better clothes than his
English cousin, and buys much more than
any other population of wOrkingmen
in the world.
Other causes besides the tariff may con-
tribute to this result, as can be seen by
reference to the condition of labor in Ger
many and Russia. The intelligence of the
laboring people, the existence of privileged
classes and the monopoly Of the means of
wealth all have their inaacnc2. But, when
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
Canada Slowly Moving Up.
Washington Post..l

washington fOSI.I
No more striking illustration of the back
wardness in some things of our Canadian
ne1ghbors could be given than is afforded in
the fact that, after having had street rail-
ways in use for 30 years, the city of Toronto
is now discussing the propriety of running
them on Sundays. That there is a com
munity on the continent in possession of q
city railway system that could for an hour
hesitate over such question is scarcely
comprehensive by the American mind of
to-day. But the fact is, our Canadian friends,
never too progressive, are now where we
were long ago. We outgrew our blue laws
q century or two since. The Canadians are
only beginning to outgrow theirs now.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
A WOODS APPETITE.
Unfeeling Critics Sometimes Find Fault
With Writers on the Subject.

Unfeeling Critics Sometimes Find Fault
With Writers on the Subject.
Forest and Stream.l
Unfeeling critics have sometimes found
fault with the writer's of sporting sketches
because of their proneness to chronicle their
emotions on sitting down to the first meal in
the woods, to expatiate on the savory quail
ties of the camp food, and to aver as a meri-
torious claim that the party "did full justice
to- the cook, the cooking or the food As
we have pointed out, the secret of this is
that one finds in the forest an appetite and a
relish for food which any sensible doctor
would declare to be unerring indications of
improved physical condition. In the year
book of the Bisby Club we find suggestive
note in the statement of expenses for the
year.
"The cost of living in the woods,' says
General X. U. Sherman, the author of the re-
port ''is not to be estimated by its cost in
the settlements. The fact is well established
by experience tha- the consumption per
head is at least double in the woods what it
is outside" And when man finds in his
camp new stomach and Il new palate, a
new capacity and u new appreciation of
food, why should he not be given the privi-
lege of relating his good fortune and putting
it in the permanent record as among those
things in search of what it is worth while
going fishing and shooting?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
Obituary Notes.

THOMAS BAYLIss HANNA. Minister to the Ar
gentine Republic during the Cleveland administra-
Ilon died at Charlottesville yesterday.
JouS BEEsLEY, sexton for half century of St.
Michael's Church, Charleston, S. c., died Satur-
dav in the sOth year of his age. In him one of the
most interesting landmarks of Charleston passed
away.
HARRY HOWARD the we11-known huntsman of
the Essex County, N. j., Country Club died at the
kennels of the club, in West Orange, Saturday
afternoon of consumption. He had been i'll only
about nine months.
EDWARD WARREN, a prominent citizen of Fall
River. Mass, who traced his lineage back to Will
lam De Warren Earl of Normandy and tine young
est daughter of William the Conqueror, died Satur
day at Fall River ut the age of "a
GENERAL CHARLES W. HAIGHT, a well-known
LAWYER and Democratic politician of Freehold, N,
+. died Saturday after II long illness. He was so
Years old General Haight was the law partner of
loci Parker New jerseys war Governor. In 1867
he was elected to Congress, and was reelected two
years later.
AUGUSTUS RITTCHEY, proprietor of the Doubl-
ing GAP summer resort and u leading Democratic
noIitician of the Cumberland Valley also promi-
ncnt hotel man. died at Carlisle yesterday. aged 46
wears. During the war he served In the Two Hum
dred and Tenth Regiment as Adjutant; he also
served In the regular army.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
Mr.. Platt to the President.
New York WOrld.1
You turn the Fassett, III do the rest.
PEOPLE WHO COME AND 60.

| James I. German. Ed. Fitzsimmons Ed
| McGinnis and John Connor members OF the
| Jefferson County Tourist Club, of Steuben-
| Vile, o., were guests at the Central last even
| ing They accompany the Pittsburg Pioneer
| Tourist Club to the National Convention of
! the c. T. A. L. of A.. to be held in Washing
| ton, ID. C., this week
j.. B. Haggin, the California horseman
and millionaire, passed through the city last
| he had quit racing, and he wouldn't allow
| Salvador to run again. He added that the
crops were good in the west, and the
| farmers had commenced to ship their wheat
| to the seaboard.
NJ. j. Murphy, in advance of Bobby Gay
| lor is in the city seeing to the interests of
that versatile actor. Mr.. Murphy sang in the
choir at high mass at the Cathedral yester-
day, and rendered the barytone solo,
Haydn's "Jesu Deus Paces," in an extremely
pleasing manner.
State Senator J. P. S. Goblin, of Lebanon,
took breakfast at the Anderson yesterday.
He boarded an early train for Detroit, where
he will attend the annual meeting of the
Grand Army.
c. NJ. Mitchell, with the Charles Meeson
Betting Company, formerly of this city, but
for year past located at New Orleans, has
returned and will take up his residence
here.
Among the passengers for Philadelphia
last evening were Edward Heating, Frank
and Northwestern, and A. p. Burgwin.
S. Weaver, clerk in the Treasury De-
partment at Washington, and his wife, reg
istered at the Seventh Avenue Hotel last
evening. They are on their way to Ohio.
DIR. u. 7. Miller and family leave per
steamer Keystone State for Cincinnati to-
day, to be absent three weeks.
D. j. Horner and wife, of Somerset, and
S. n. Pettis, of Meadville, are stopping at
the Monongahela House.
Mr. Gus Weaver and Miss Rosa Deible,
of Youngstown, were yesterday TIE guests
of relatives in Allegheny.
Mrs. Fanny Rodgers and her daughter,
of Oakland, have gone to Paris for u visit.
r. D. Foltz, of New Castle, and F. B.
Bradley, of Chicago, are at the Duquesne.
Arthur W. Marvin, of Barnum's show, is
stopping at the Anderson.
Thomas Callaghan went to New York last
evening.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

Now we hear that the railroad car short
age is impending again, to materialize when
the wheat cropis to be moved. The idiosyn-
Grassy of the railroads in f1uctuating from q
surplus of cars to a famine is well known;
but it does not seem to have made impress
sion enough on the railroad mind to insure a
supply of cars for this years business
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

IT is interesting and satisfactory to note
that the orders of the railroad combination
to boycott the Chicago and Alton Railroad
are resulting in a complete fizzle. The laws
of trade are proving themselves more pow
erful than the combination edict. OF course
tho unimportant fact that in the boycott the
railway combination violated the provision
of the interstate commerce act, that rail-
roads must take the traffic of other roads
without delay or discrimination" is not
worth mentioning
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE.
Sister Clara, a Carmelite.

Sister Clara was buried Friday from the
convent of the Carmelite order st. Louis. Sister
Clara was known in the world as Miss Mary kice.
She belonged to wealthy Protestant family of
Lttchfeld ILL., She and her sister, while attending
school at the Ursuline Academy at Alton. ILL.,, be-
came Catholics. Shortly after leaving the school
she entered the austere life of Carnelite the
age of IS. The dead Carmelte was laid ont accord
ing the chstom of the order, In bare pine coffin,
with a CODY OF her vows and the rosary in her
hands. Vicar General brady, assisted by Father
Cannon, of the Assumption Church, performed
fine funeral services.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

IT seems that the investigation of the
State Treasury management is to be held
after ALL with Statesman John H. Fow at
the head OF the investigators. 1t can be
hoped that Mr.. Fow's style of investigating
will prove superior to Senator George Handy
Smiths method of not investigating Mt all;
but that is not saying much for it.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

THE congratulations of Lord Salisbury
on the success with which chronic evils
have been remedied, are well founded from
the Tory standpoint. From that point of
view the Irish population has long been con-
sidered a chronic evil and the latest census
shows that it has been decidedly lessened.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

COLONEL SCOTT of Omaha (who may be
for all we know the Great Scott! of ro-
mance)" is the way the Buffalo Courier be-
gins comment. Dear, dear! Is it possible
that the esteemed Courier has paid so little
attention to the sources OF national by-words
as not to know that "Great Scott" was an
exclamation of the last generation founded
on the majesty of General Winfield s.?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

A BROOKLYN Judge has judicially
affirmed the right of father to chastise his
own son. Now that the paternal discipline
has been declared legal let US hope that the
father will not spoil the boy, providing he is
physically able to trounce him, even il he
has to use up a good many rods.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
OUR MAIL POUCH.
A Question of Law.

To the Editor Of The Dispatch:
If a wife notify liquor dealers through the
papers not to sell any kind Of Intoxicating
drinks to her husband, and the husband goes
to barkeeper and gets it under an assumed
name, or on account Of his name not being
known by the barkeeper. can the latter be
held accountable? n. c.
New CASTLE August l.
1.-THE law makes it a misdemeanor for deal
ers to sell to persons of kno,Cn incorporate
habits.l
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

THE story of gold nuggets to be picked
up in the new State of Washington sounds
very eaticing. Nevertheless let the fortune
seekers who are attracted thither by the re-
port take heed to Themselves lest they
should be the ones who furnish the golden
faape
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

THE complaint of the politicians that the
President has not enough warmth to suit
their tastes, is balanced by the evident in
tention of the political managers of the
Harrison boom to make it hot for the oppos
ing factions.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

THE latest disclosures with regard to
Canada's politics should settle one thing.
The United States does not want Canada an
nexed We have no necessity for adding to
our political influences and the big section
in which the politicians are owned by the
corporations in fee simple.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
The Right of denomination.

Philadelphia Iuquirer.1
The idea that Mr.. Blaine is discourteous in
allowing himself to be n candidate while re-
manning in the Cabinet is absurd. No Presi-
dent has right to denomination, or a
right to use the patronage of the Govern
ment to bring about his denomination.
Such conduct is un-American and has never
been put into actual practice. Every Presi-
dent who has been renominated has been so
because he was the actual choice of his
1.fx
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

we live under system that has brought
the laboring population to higher condi-
ton of intelligence and prosperity than in
any other country, the conclusion against
a change is somewhat too obvious to re-
quire amplifcation.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03

THE general PERCEPTION of the appropri-
ateness of new deal is manifest in the in
dustry with which the newspaper CORES
poudents are sending in the designations of
the members of the Cabinet, for these gen.
flap,an
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
HARRISON AT CHURCH.
The President Listens to a Sermon Preached
By an Allegheny Minister.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPArcH.l
CAPE MAY, Aug. 1.-President Harrison and
Postmaster General Wanamaker attended
services at the Cold Spring Presbyterian
church this morning. The Rev. Mr.. Stewart,
of Allegheny City, preached an eloquent
sermon from a text taken from Malechi, on
the subject of Jewels for God" light
congregation was in attendance because
neither of the two officials was expected
to be present.
Russell Harrison dined with Congressman
Reyburn to-day. The Right Rev. Bishop
Scarborough, OF New Jersey, took tea with
the President.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-03
b Has the Correct Idea.

To the Editor of The Dispatch:
A bets that ifa man lives in this country
three years and then gets his first papers
out he will have to wait five years before he
gets his second papers. B bets that If he Is
in .he country three years and then gets his
first papers out he will only have to wait
two years. Which is right?
PITTsBURG, August l. CONSTANT READER.