The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-25
BRIGHT BITS,

SHE lat the piano)-Whch do you admire
most, Mr.. Plungley, Beethoven or Chopin
He Slightly perplexedl -Aw-you don't han
pen to have -aw-heard And You Wink the
Other Eye have you, Miss Gwace?-American
Grocer.
AGED MILLIoHAIRE-Andy you refuse me?
MISS Beautl-l am sorry, sir, but l cannot be
your vile
rs it because am too odY"
No.; Because you are not older. "-Ne,D
York Weekly
~, MSorHER-Goodness mel Johnny johnny
Why amt you at school, instead of hurrahing
round the streets ike wild Indian?
Johnny dancing jig)-No school TODAY
Mother-No school? Why?
Johnny-Teacher's dead.-Good Netcs.
WATTs-Wasn't Timmins rather cut I'D when
Miss Wllletts married Simmons?
Potts-Gness not at least he made the bride
q S125 present
Watts-What was it?
Potts--Simmons L o. U.-Indianapolfs
Journal.
THE secret of wealth." said the rich man. in
stiff manner II cannot say 1 have any.
stu there are two things"
And they are!" eagerly interrupted the
young inquirer
II did without ice in the summer and did my
own plumbing in the winter. -PhiladeIphtn
Times.
CRUsrY from the rural district)-What va
pokin' yer hand at me fer?
Waiter-Yoh fo'got something, sab.
Crusty-No haint. | guess you're waitin
fer a tip, amt We?
Waiter-lf you please sab.
keep on waitin' an you'll be gray long fore
you're rich.-Chica0o Times
STRANGER TO 7-year-old Boston boy)-Say,
bub, where's Boylston street?
Boston Boy-While your mode OF address sir.
seems to SAVIOR of undue, not to say Of unwar-
rantable familiarity, you shall have the in
formation you seek. You will perchance dee
scry some distance up the street an imposing
structure of commingled Renaissance and early
Venetian architecture. The street for which
you inquire is Immediately contiguous. "-Bos-
ton Courier.
To SOME pungent remarks of professional
brother western lawyer began his reply as
follows: May it please the court, resting upon
the couch of republican equality as do, Gov.
cred with the blanket OF constitutional panoply
as am, and protected by the egis of American
liberty as feel myself to be, daspise the buzz.
ing of the professional insect who has inst SAT
down, and defy his futile attempts to penetrate
with his puny sting. the interstices of my i'm
pervlous covering. "-DrH Goods Chronicle.
SOME REAL CHILDREN's SAYINGs-Sidney's
aunt found him in the pantry eating cake and
lump-su r. 20, Sidney" she said, reproy-
ingy you know you have no right to come
gravely, "a man who gave a dress in our school
room the other day said, 'The Lord helps those
who helps themselves and I'm just helpin
myself I've learned a whole column of
spellings and msaningS," exclaimed Bessie
DO you understand what you have learnedg''
asked her sister. ''Of course l do; just hear
me, 1t begins with anarchy, '-an-a-r-c-h-y.
anarchY-confusion, disorder, misrule" BE.
fore you go any further" said her sister, ''put
that word into a sentence" Bessie thought a
moment, and then said triumphantly, Ibid any
one ever see such an untidy place! Sarah Jane,
come in here with your broom and sweep up
this anarchy. On another occasion Bessie
gave the dictionary definition Of consistency, -
but added II can explain it much better in my
own way. understand exactly what 1t means.
mind. or else keeping the same side always on
top haven't consistency myself. "-Knte
Fields Washington.