Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-05-15
West Sunbury.

Mr.. Citizen, i tel you what things is git
ten purity worm round hear. That was a
good reply Brains put in your last paper.
spose can call him Brains he sed /
dident hev none er sumthen like that He
| sartenly hes o wonderful intelleck and is
very flandthropick in condescenden tn
perscribe fur me Vegetable diet, an at
temptun to perpetuate pease in his little
reply which sertenly produces a very con-
trary effect from the filippicks of Demos
sones.
Good old feller with star in his cap, lie
take the diet and be happy tn think fare
better than Luther did with the wurms.
He sed he'd tn mutch talk fur my brains
Wei you know evry man must judge by
his own experiences; and the wurst roges /
ever run across were amazenly we'll inform
ed tellers. An he sertenly hes bin mudlin
his brain with the alcohol ov new idees
that his intelleck hes becum filtered an the
golden trane ov thot which passed through
the peculiar meckenism ov his brain, cum
fourth at last intu egotizm clear an nm
alloid.
Howsumever anticipated outcry
agenst me on the part ov the blokheds,
who are the most credulus idolatars ov cor
ruption, an, if knoledge were power
would rot on dung-hill; yet think all
reelly enlitened men will agree with me
that when we fall in with these sharpshut-
ers of the mugwump swamps it is no reason
why We should make ourselves targit
without resistance because brains furnishes
them with gun.
He sed was q pessimist-i shood smile
hede be won tn round hear, if hede only
take bis eyes ont ov his rest pockets an
rub the last years dust off them and put
them in there sockets rite side ont an cline
up in some high steeple an look round over
the town.
Immagen Brains standen in the belfry of
the Academy looken round oyer the town.
His eyes beholds an old dilapidated church
where the angels hev long since seased tn
tired an fools hev quit rushen in, an old
blacksmith shop on name street, tu emty
lots coverd with all the rubish in town,
ruff streets, old rotten fences, houses that
hevent seen paint sinse the food. An his
eyes begin tn grow dim an he partially sees
in the dark dreary hollo ov space, intu
which he is gazen, lot ov old tumblen
down stables sinken deeper an lowlier thar
before What lovely picture. who could
be Gath enuff to efface it. But his eyes
begin tn grow dinner an finally the butiful
picture is shut off from his site an he ex-
claims in the angwish ov his sole, 30 ten
dency ov our town tn slowthfulness." An
as we gaze intu his face, despite all its
buty, We see sumthen that would startle
back even the fond gaze of love; sumthen
hard. collected, inscrutable, remorseful.
An lie bet me ole stra hat hele cum down
frum that more ov q pessermist than am.
In addishun, don't let Hay Seed mock you
out in the first round. Liten your diet fur
while, say to couple ov teeth picks an
tablespoonsful ov goats milk, tn much
use ov your grinders is liable tu draw
down your Uranium an prevent the full de-
velopment cv your cerebrum. Read
Dante's Inferno. Don't ask me not to in
Hict the long sufferen public" for if i he'd
ent thrown these "Old water soaked logs
in your way" you wouldent hev he'd eny-
thing tn rite about and the public would
hev been ignorant of your wonderful
achievements in the literary world.
Smoke one ov Donaldson's three e-fors
after dinner an go soke your head.
Submitten these hints tn the sagacious
reader will pursede to my line Of bust
nest. We hevent dun much IN the council
yet only orderd stun walks tn be lade from
the postoffice to Duties an along both
sides Of beaver streat and church streat
/ wanted them tn hev walks lade on both
sides ov washington street tn, an all round
town thought it might as well be done
one time as another. But the rest said
that wouldn't do, for they didn't collect
any street tax off the ones that laid walks,
and they would need little street tax and
was sure of that and sed no more. The
old, dilapidated church ! spoke of amt one
that they use, but an old thing that ought
to be torn down. Ifit would get on fire
some time it would burn half the town.
HAY SEED.