The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1891-10-17

passes, to be sure Now what shall
do until 10, for am determined not to
die until noon"
A knock at the door.
go away" cried Mr.. Maddox an-
grily; "you can't come in !"
Il am very sorry to disagree with you,
: said a voice outside, "but can come in.
have duplicate key here, and if you
don't open the door I will. "
Mr.. Maddox rose and unlocked the
door savagely, and Mr.. Guy Cheevers
stalked into the room, carrying an oblong
box under his arm.
He placed the box on the table and
then took seat opposite Mr.. Maddox
and stared blankly at him.
"What do you want?" asked the latter
fercely. Don't you see am engaged ?"
"Oh, l know" said Guy, "what you
are about to do! Don't think that Pm
going to intefere-not at all. But be-
fore you make your quietus wish to ask
you a few questions. Have you pro-
vided for your niece's welfare?"
"What's that to you?n
Considerable. / am about to marry
Miss Silver; so her interests are naturally
mine.
Then she is provided for-amply.n
Thank you for the information. Very
glad to hear it. And now excuse the
apparent impertinence of the question,
but where is your will?"
Here, replied Mr. Maddox, laying
his hand on it.
"SuDnosa 1,o,, oiv,a ~ t, ,,,, q, ol,o ,o ~,
Off"
Give it you Why, pray?"
at might become misplaced, ex-
planned Guy.
"Tll keep it myself, " said Mr. Maddox
in rough tone.
"Then just leave a memorandum on
the table, said Guy earnestly "to tell
where it is 1t will save trouble, per-
haps.
sect out!" cried Mr. Maddox angrily.
"Ah, see I" said Mr.. Cheevers coolly (;
sin hurry to begin. Well, won't de-
tain you; but have a little suggestion
to offer.
"Well?" said Mr.. Maddox impatiently.
at is this, said Guy. miss Silver
informs me that you have made several
| previous efforts to c1t short your trouble
! and your breath, and always msuccess-
| fully. Now it seems TO me you mt go
the right way about it. This box and
here he opened the box alluded to-" con-
tains several little plans that 1 think
might please you. Here's one, and ho
showed little steel Instrument.
"Whats that?" asked Mr.. Maddox
"This, said Guy, " is an article that
you can place round your neck like a col
lar, then, h. striking your hand on the
left side Of your neck, sharp spike is
driven into your jugular vein"
"But that would kill mel" said Mr..
Maddox, staring.
"Well, amt that what you want?" de-
manded Guy sternly. Nov, here's
another, he went on. "Here's a wheel.
you observe; you place this band round
| your neck, pass it round the wheel, and
give it two or three turns-then let go,
The recoil will twist your head almost
off your shoulders-kill you to a GER
tainty."
Mr.. Maddox stared at him with un.
feigned horror.
l LAA1lAs NNAlb Ol4 N'bJ NbOll1 lGlb , u
little package, torpedo. 1t contains
nitroglycerine. You place it in your
mouth, snap your teeth on it, and of
goes your head, smashed into millions Of
atoms"
"Good heavensl" exclaimed Mr.. Mad
dox fearfully. "What terrible idea.
"Not at ALL" said Guy soothingly
Beautiful inventica-I quite pride my
self on it-scientiic suicide, you see
Any one can take poison, or blow his
brains out; but to do it scientifically re
quires real talent. You have it, and
am confident you will reflect credit OF
my inventive skill. Now if you could
use all three of these inventions at once
cut your jugular, garrote yourself, anC
blow your head off all at once-why, II
thank you.
"Whatl" cried Mr.. Maddox fiercely
"do you think I'm crazyp Do you thinI
Pm going to use any of your Internal in
ventionsg Leave this room, you cole
blooded william, before throw you out o
the windowt"
"But have a great many more I,
show you, demonstrated Guy, "and yol
see l want you to try as many as possible
Well, WE'LL" he added, as Mr. Maddo,
grasped the poker threateningly, I'm
going But I'll leave this box here, ant
before you get rid of yourself just max
a memorandum of what you will use ant
leave il on the table, because you know
there will probably be nothing left of yol
to draw conclusions from, and So"
| F..,.tI,.,v- A,l.
by Mr.. Maddox seizing his visitor an,
hustling him out into the passage.
"Well?n said Lizzie anxiously.
Il think its all right, said Guy, grin
ming. "Get the luncheon ready. You
uncle will be down.
And sure enough, so be was an
though he spoke not, he ate most vora
eiously of everything on the table.
} Lizzie, said he suddenly, after a
hours pause, did you ever see an infel
nal old fool and an idiot?"
"Never that know of, !" said Lizzie
} "Why do you askP"
Because just look at me and you'll Sc
one, said Mr.. Maddox grimly, and h
} stalked upstairs
Up TO the present time Of writing MI
Cyrus Maddox is still alive, enjoying II
markably good health, and he seems
be ON friendly terms with Mr., Cheevel
/ and his wife Lizzie. He probably forgay
} that gentleman on account Of a discover
that he made that the nitroglyceriu
torpedo contained nothing more danger
GUS than salt and the other internal il
, ventions were internal in the sam
. ratioi but Guy still maintains that whe
3 persons are weary of life they should en-
I their troubles by scientific suicide.
How to get a woman to keep a seer
. Give her ohloroform. Texas Siftings