The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-19

were OF Lyman origin, whilst others hold
that they came from away down East.
Herodotus claims that they were of Lyd-
ian stock and that he had it from the
Lydians themselves, but those who know
Herodotus will remember that he was a
space writer whose best interviews were
all written at the Office while in state of
remorse.
Some claim that the Etruscan nobility
came from the Rhatian Alps while others
say that they were from Tranby Croft.
However, up to the time when the Romans
became the dominant nation in Italy and
prior to the trouble in the New Orleans
dynasty, the Etruscans had extended their
influence over Southwestern Europe and
managed to undersell many of the Jewish
clothing merchants of that country. They
were bold in war and enterprising in bust
ness. Their standing army rarely sat
down and their navies were seldom
seaslck. All this was the case up
to about $50 B. C.-to the best of
my recollection. After that they had
the air of having been checked up too
high. Their pride prevented them from
sweating, and they perspired very little,
too. Finally their letters were all "dic-
tated" to a stenographer by a private Sec
rotary, and century or so later we find
the Etruscans suffering from brain flag
before their whiskers broke out. They sat
for hours trying to remember back to " hen
they were young people, but finally gave it
up. They did not marry outside of their
set at all, and so managed to confine all
the broad heritage of antique and ancient
diseases, which many generations of indo-
lence, insolence and rich victuals had en-
gendered, to their own proud but bilious
race.
Think of it. Seven hundred and fifty
years before the boom struck Rome the
Etruscans were powerful nation, with
glorious history, heritage of liberty for
the purpose of forking over to posterity
and war debt
Later on trouble broke out with the
Romans themselves, many Etruscans
having been skinned, it would seem, by
inscriptions real estate dealers, who sold
the Etruscans lots in Uncle Remus'
addition to Rome, which afterward
turned out to be in another county.
This precipitated upon the Etruscans
war which was most disastrous, many of
the choicest and best dressed Etruscan
officers of the regular army having been
killed or overhet in their fight, so that
they were no good after that or their uni
forms were so mussed up that they were
ashamed almost to 60 to large place like
Rome, where the next battle was adver-
tised for.
Eighty-nine years before Christ the
Etruscans were admitted to the Roman
franchise, but still even as a subordinate
conquerors that they were a very old peo-
pie, and it was indeed raw, disagreeable
day when some Etruscan did not go home
with beautiful Swiss sunset under each
eye and tell his wife that he got it while
reaching the tail of a casual mule.
The Etruscan writers were not of
high order generally, but they excelled
in all the arts. AS a people. they al
lowed nobody to Guido them in art.
Sculpture. painting, ETC., etc, had a
great hold on the people, and home deco
ration was run into the ground. Ever
lasting flowers and dried grasses with
powdered alum on them were in their full
meridian when the Etruscans curled up
and died as people, leaving their glitter
ing bones to ornament the shores of time.
The so'called Tuscan architecture is a
modification of the Doric, and looks well
on an unincumbered piece Of property.
The Cloaca Maxima, at Rome, which
many travellers will remember has been
unoccupied for so many years, is attribu-
ted TO the Etruscans during their domi-
nation. They showed in this building
that they were acquainted with the prin-
ciples involved in the construction of the
arch, and the plumbing is said to be good,
though the building needs airing.
Very little remains of their temples,
theaters, etc. and their religion is only a
matter of uncertain history. No one that
| know of is able to work up any interest
in the gods that the Etruscans worshiped.
They have gone with Bluebeard and Jack
the Giant Killer 10 the attic where child
hood plays and rambles on rainy days, and
among all those who were so popular in
the decalogue of the people of Etruria
there is not one today who could COM
mand 81 week
The tombs of the Etruscans are their
chief charm. They are beautifully deco
rated and though poorly ventilated, as SO
many tombs are apt to be, are on the in
side covered with paintings and carvings.
They are also furnished with various artl-
cles, on many of which may be found the
remains of very unique and once beauti-
tut tides. which, it is presumed, were a
weakness of the Etruscans, though 1t must
be admitted that they showed much men,
tai acumen, it seems to me, in putting
them where they could not be worn off
down town on the shoulder of an molten
sive guest.