Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-01-01
POOR SIMPLE HOWARD.

his maternal grandfather. At college the
same had naturally been shortened to Sim
and then, quite as naturally, extended tc
Simple. So he was known to his familiars
as Simple Howard"
There was a senior, with reputation OF
wit, who said of him, "The people who
maintain that Simple Howard is an idiot
are quiet wrong. He is merely an anach.
ronism
1t took three out of the four thousand
dollars to put Simon through college
This does not happen to be the right
place to discuss the question of the game
and the candle; it is enough to say that
when he started out into the world the
young man had cash assets to the amount
of one thousand dollars. His parents
were dead, and he had no brothers nor
sisters; nevertheless, he possessed an ample
stock of relatives-uncles, aunts and cous-
ins-scattered in various parts of the
Union.
Simon had enjoyed his college life so
well that he was 10th to leave when the
course was completed He therefore de-
cided to continue his work for a year
longer, in the belief that t1is would Sc
cure for him place as tutor. But when
he talked the matter over with the presi-
dent he was compelled to change his
mind.
The president 9aid; II can never con-
scientiousiy a, BE a young man, to whom
anything else in life is open, to become a
teacher Now, Mr.. Howard, | should i'm
agine ou were best suited to some sort of
business pursuit ! would advise that you
go to any large city, where you have
friends or relatives, and secure a place in
holo
would have an outlook in life. But what
ever you do, don t teach.
Thank you for the advice" said 81
mon; 81 shall follow it.
A few days later he presented himself at
the bookkeeping department of the great
firm of Dott & Curry, and asked to see his
Uncle Martin, who presided over one aisle
of desks. He put his case as briefly as
possible, for uncle Martin seemed to be
greatly hurried.
do you know anything about book
keeping? asked the business man.
Nothing at all, replied Simon; 'ifyou
think it adviable, however, | will go to "a
business college. | have still little mon
ey left"
'You haveP" said Uncle Martin; ''tben
| will tell you what you had better do; go
and study understandable for ex-
ample. There's your uncle, Harvey Blood
see what good thing he has made out of
it. He claims that bis practice yields him
$1,000 year-net. And here am, after
twenty years experience with the best
houses In the city, on salary OF STD a
month! If a man has no capital and no
expectation of any, he's a fool to go into
business.
Whose Judgment could be wiser in
such a matter than that of Uncle Martin :?
After thanking him, Simon proceeded
to 90 in search of Uncle Harvey, who
lived in small town at the other end of
the state.
eff he has so much practice" thought
the young man, ''it is quite possible that
he may need an assistant. | can study
medicine and earn my living at the same
time
When be called at his uncle's Office, a
bright looking young man whom he found
there informed him that the doctor was
out. Simon sat down to wait and the
young man went to a desk and began to
turn over the leaves of medical book.
Are you a physician?" asked Simon.
''Oh, no, answered the other; am Dr.
Blood assistant In the Office, and | am
studying with him."
why, then, you have the place | in
tended to ask for" exclaimed Simon.
"ndeed.' said the other, with an in
jured air; well, there are several that
wanted it, but guess can do all that the
doctor needs to have done
When the doctor came in, Simon ex
planned the cause of his visit, but added
that he had no wish to interfere with ex-
listing arrangements.
'If you want to study medicine said
Uncle Harry, 81 would advise you to go
to medical college,"
81 think ! will do so, said Simon.
But" continued the doctor, Il must
first tell you in all candor that | think you
will make great mistake if you study
medicine at all. The fact is the profess
sion is horribly overcrowded. The medi-
cal colleges keep on turning out doctors by
the thousand, where there is not room for
them by the hundred. It is a noble pro-
fession, and all that, but a man is in
great luck if he can make money enough
in it to pay his lawyers fees in NAL prac-
tice suits.
Dear me!' exclaimed Simon.
why, see here, now, said the doctor;
IF you are looking for profession, why
don't you study law? That is the money
easy as lying"
rs that so" said Simon.
There is friend of mine in the firm
of Mortmain & Tort in the city, said the
doctor; Il will give you a letter to him
and he will advise you in the matter. ! viii
tell you in advance that his income is
about SIS, 900 year yet the other fish do
not lock upon him as a whale by any
means.
"Whew!" said Simon.
Several days later when that celebrated
champion of evildoers Mr.. Blackleaf, came
to his office he found mild-countenanced
young man waiting for him with letter
in his hand.
''Ah, he said, when he had read It
through; you want to study law, do you /:
Well. if you came to me for advice-and |
don't know what else DIR. Blood could have
sent you for-I can give it in short order
Let this profession alone. There is moth
ing in it. Good day; you see, there are
quite number of people waiting to speak
to me. Call again some other time, Mr.
- ah-um."
Thank you" said Simon.
1t began to be evident to Simon that the
task of getting started in life was a seri
Gus and difficult undertaking. 1t wa.
likely to consume somewhat longer time
than he had supposed, and he had regret
ted that he had not kept out larger sun
than 81 900. This was already beginning
to disappear, for, having come OF poor bu
extravagant parents, Simon did not I'M
derstand the art of economy.
81 can see " said Simon ''that it Il