davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
HE KNEW 1T ALL.
How a Young German officer Learned the
Intricacies of English.

lntricacies of English.
New York Times.]
When the United States ship Portsmouth
reached Hampton Roads recently fresh from
the West Indies, she found in that port the
German man-of-war Mike, and in the course
of few days a warm friendship was estab-
lished between the young officers of the two
ships. Frequent visits were in order
Among the German officers there was one
young man who thought who knew, that he
had mastered the whole English language
in his short month in American waters. He
was SO sure of this that he hastened to ex-
hibit his fuency whenever any of the
American officers were about. This led to a
trap which awoke the German somewhat
rudely, to a realization of his error.
He was on board the Portsmouth, con-
versing with q knot of officers, when
shower came up. "This is quite malignant
storm" he said, positively.
ayes" replied Ensign c., who stood near
by, "but it's only half as bad as 1t would be
If it were twice as bad as it is" d remark
which caused the German to stare blankly
at the speaker. He couldn't grasp it.
."Hey?" he finally said, with a dazed air.
ooh! 1 merely remarked" said c., "that 1t
might have been if it was, and it would have
been if it could, but as it hadn't, it didn't
see?"
But the German didn't see He edged his
way slowly toward the gangway as though
bereft of his senses His eyes were CLASSY;
his face was pallid and careworn. They
never saw him again.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

The question whether that prize fight is
to come off in Minnesota has aroused the
clergy and moral element of the State.
There was an impression that no law existed
to stop the fight; but the announcement
yesterday thatSGovernor Merriam would
issue a proclamation against it indicates
that the church element has developed
enough influence with the politicians to in
duce them to stop it. 1t remains to be seen,
however, whether the law is active enough
to rule the desires of the gentlemen with
short hair for a first-class slugging match.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
SAID TO BE FUNNY,

When first gazed upon her face.
1 did not think her much above me.
And tried, wherever time and place
Were favorable to make her love me.
But in her mind and character
Each day new beauties discover,
And all dare ask of her
Is that She III only let me love her.
-Neto York Press.
Charitable Lady (bestowing a dime)-
What is your disease poor mani
Help the Afflicted 5crubbs-I have q chronic
case Of fcantstir.-SeD York Herald.
Harry-Why did you shave of your
mustache3
WILL found my best girl was getting too ex-
pensive and have taken this method of having her
give me the shake.-Brooktyn Eagle.
81 have come, sir, to ask for the hand of
your daughter
How can you support wife2 You have noth-
ing"
But am going into business this fall and hope
to make lot of money"
''What business9''
.svoting. I'm a citizen of Ohio, you know.''-
Detroit Free Press.
Prot. Snobbs Ito his little iece)-Nellie,
wouldn't you like to go down into the bowels Of the
earthY
Nellie-No, Use faid the tomack would fall on me-
pharmaceutical Era.
Masked Robber (going through railway
train)-I've got no time to waste on you'll Fork
over the rest o. yer stuff!
Reluctant Passenger-It's q shame 70 take all q
mans got. tell you right now you're going back
pal.
pal be darned. You're no pal.''
''No, but there's an omnibus agent at the next
station waiting for this train. ''-Chicdoo Tribune.
"And you were beaten at tennis, Mary?"
''Yes mother.''
''Well, hope it'll be q warning to you not to 20
and try and play tennis again without your nice
tennis suit on. Huml What do you think bought
1t for you for7''-Eelo York Press.
Enraged Customer Crushing wildly into
the drugstore)-Say this scalp lotion has taken all
the hair out of my head. I've great mind to sue
you for damages.
Druggist (coolly)-You couldn't collect damages,
my dear SIR for have witnesses to prove shat
simply told you the lotion would preserve your
scalp, and any jury could plainly that your scalp
is all there. Pharmaceutical Era.
Now fares it sadly with the man
Whose soul doth patience lack,
When he 10 smite fugacious flies
Himself doth nercely whack.
-hec York Herald.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

KENTUCKY is in the embarrassing situa-
ton of having stock of 100000 gallons of
whisky on hand that it does not know what
to do with The singularity of the allegation
that Kentuckians did not know what to do
with the whisky indicates that there must
be something so radical in the new Constitu-
tion of the State as to justify the opposition
developed by certain leading Democrats.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Senator w. II. Ross.

The Cherokee Nation is in mourning over
the death of her leading statesman, Senator W. H.
Ross, who died very sudd d.nly Monday morning Of
heart disease, at his home in Fort Gibson. Sena-
tor Ross half breed, about 6s years of age
and educated at Princeton COLI 2ge by his uncle
Chief John Ross. He entered public lie at the age
of O. and had held almost every office in the gilt of
the Nation; from Chief down. He was a Lieuten-
ant Colonel during the war, in the Confederate
army. He was brilliant orator aud u leader of
of the National marty
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
The Day Well Named.

Some story writers pick up oddities and the
Detroit Free Press has just such man. The
following may not be his brightest:
"What is your dogs manner" asked man,
who was waiting at the postoffice, of a
young fellow with particularly bright
dog.
TASK him." answered the young fellow
cody.
"You don't seem to understand, sir, 1 asked
you what was your dogs manner"
And 1 answered, "Ask him.
You are an impertinent snob," said the
older man brandishing his umbrella
"My dear sir, that dogs name is Ask
him. explained the youth as he retreated
to q safe distance.
Next.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

IT is interesting to observe that the
Murine Rerieao, of Cleveland, is now attacking
the project for the deepening of the Erie
Canal. Anything which would extend the
carving trade of the lakes is so obnoxious to
the Marine Revfe,o as to cause wonder whether
the most important class of wator transpor-
ton in its estima tion is not that conducted
on the water in railway stocks.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
DEATHS HERE AND ELsEwHERE.
Prof. Ebenezer Alfred johnson.

Prof Ebenezer Alfred johnson, senior
professor in the department of arts and sciences in
the University of the City of New York and Presi-
dent of the Faculty, die of apopexy at his home,
in Yonkers, last Saturday. AS a scholar Prof.
johnson thorough and exact, his studies COW
ering a wide range and being as comprehensive as
they were minute. AS instructor he was con-
scientious and painstakng. Prof. johnson had
not of late contributed to the press but in his
early manhood he published number of cdu-
catonal works of great value in the line of his
chosen studies, among which may be mentioned
editions of the orations of Cicero, of Cornelius
Nepos, etc.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

sion of the AS, said: al am considering the
conversion of the As in the same way" is
evidently fishy. Secretary Foster must
know, if the interviewer did not. that the
As do not mature till 1907, and even the most
optimis tic view of the Secretary's tenure of
Office can hardly expect it to last 25 years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Alexander Gourley.

Alex. Gourley, an inmate of the National
Soldiers Home, at Leavenworth, is dead. He was
9s years old. His military career begsn in the war
of1a2. He served throughout the Mexican war
with General Taylor's command. He also took
part in many Indian wars along the border, where
he was generally found during his younger DAYS,
His last military duty was in the late war In whch
he served four years. enlisting at the of 6S He
was pensioned at the end of the and had zen
at the Leaven worth Soldiers Home three years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Detained by Summer Outings.

The regular meeting of the W. c. T. A. was
to have been held yesterday in the Fourth
U. P. Church, of Allegheny, but owing to
the absence of many of the members from
the city who are off on their summer trips
the attendance was very light and no meet
ing was held. The meeting in August is ex-
pected to be made interesting by the re-
ports of representatives sent to the various
conventions held during the past week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Adele Bray, Actress.

Adele Bray, an actress and the wife of
Coined an Frank NJ. Kendrick. died Monday at her
home New York, of blood poisoning, the result of
an abscess. She was born in Gaena, ILL.,, 35 years
ago and made her first appearance on the stage at
M.Vickar's Theater. Chicago in 1873. She at one
tim Q d ayed in Joseph jefferson IS company. Her
last ens sagement was with Miss Lillian Lewis.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

The report that Bardsley has paresis may
explain everything except where the money
has gone to. 1t is one of the peculiar feat
ures of the case that this theory is developed
about the time when there was some hope of
tracing the missing million.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
THE awful news that the anthracite Goa

THE awful news that the anthracite coal
people are turning out more coal than the
agreement allows is agitating combination
circles But as the agreement was that they
should mine what the market would take,
according to periodical announcements, the
agitation is unnecessary. Of course, when
they cannot sell their coal they will stop
mining more.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THE statement that there is a lack of
medical service at the quarantine station
near New Orleans, where there are ten cases
of yellow fever, indicates the necessity of
prompt action. Doctors should be found to
relieve the present suffering and the
quarantine should be redoubled to prevent
the spread of the epidemic.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

IT is satisfactory to learn that the strikers
at Duquesne are generally observing the
law. The exception being the case OF a man
who threw a stone at a woman, the disgrace
of the act will be the strongest argument
with the manly element in favor of keeping
the Deace
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
JUDGE THURsroN. the Western

JUDGE THURsToN, the Western corpora
tion politician, is in favor of nominating
Clarkson for Vice President. Why not put him
up for President and let the people have a
fair chance to vote whether they prefer the
spoils system to the practice Of civil service
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

1T is stated that Secretary Blaine's
daughter has taken down list of over 5000
diseases from which her father has been re-
ported as suffering. But it is not specified
whether the Presidential fever is among
them
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Mrs. Fanny Elizabeth Davenport.

Mrs. Fanny elizabeth Davenport, widow
Of the actor E. L. D DIvenport, and mother of the
we'll known actress. Fanny Davenport, died at her
cottage, near Canton, Pa, Monday night. Mrs.
Davenport had been sick for some time and last
Friday submitted to an operation by DIR. Pancoast.
of Philadephia. She did not rally and pertonitis
set in MonGay. She leaves four daughters and two
sons all of whom were present at her bedside when
she died.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
EFFECTS OF THE MKINLEY BILL.
They Will Be Investigated by the Chief of
the Labor Department.

CHICAGO, July 2l.-Carroll D. Wright Chief
of the Department of Labor, has sent Ethel
bert Stewart, one of his special agents, to
effect of the Mckinley tariff law on wages
and the prices of products.
The work is being done at the request of
the Senate Finance Committee, and will be
carried on In all other large manufacturing
centers.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THE necessity of reorganization of
Pittsburg's baseball team appears in the
fact that it does not seem to be fully as
sured as yet of holding its place at the bot
tom of the list.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THERE may be necessity for warning
our political friends that the original pur-
pose of the Republican club movement in
Pennsylvania was not that the clubs should
be used on each others heads.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
MRS. AsToR's PARIsIAN GOWNS.
They Will Be Sold at Public Auction to the
Highest Bidder.

ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPATcH.1
NEW YORK, July 21.-United States Attor-
ney Mitchell took up to-day the case of Mrs.
William Astor's gowns, which came here
from Felix undervalued.
The probable course of the Government
will be to formally condemn the dresses and
order them sold at auction. Deputy Collector
Phelps believes that the dresses will be
bought in by persons interested in the case.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
First Must Get the Melons.

OnlcdKO IHVer-OceduI
Watermelon parties are popular in Texas.
A full moon has generally been considered
as against the success of such parties, but in
Texas the crop may be high enough to fur
nish the necessary protection.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
BELvA WAS THE FISH.
Detroit Free Press. ]

When Astride the Bicycle in Washington
She Cut a Dash.
Detroit Free Press.l
Belva Lockwood was the first woman to
ride bicycle in Washington, and she was
ridiculed and jeered by the multitude, and
the regulation anathema of "unsexed
woman" was hurled after her by the old
fogies of conservatism. Now Mrs. Lock
wood can ride the length of Pennsylvania
avenue and not masculine head would be
turned. Custom makes laws as inexorable
as those of the Medes and Persians.
bicycle tournament has just been held in
this city, and the wives and sweethearts Of
the boys rode their bicycles beside them,
and the crowds looked on and approved.
The world 'do move,' and the wheels help
it along.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Bound to Have the Whole Show.


the convention few days ago of the Society
of Christian Endeavor it will lightly pass
this week to the pugilistic endesvor OF
Messrs. Hall and Fitzsimmons to knock one
another out
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

ACCORDING to Senator Quay's last and
fullest interview, the most remarkable feat
ure of his present position is the large num-
ber of political points that he does not
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THE report that Stanley and his wife
have separated is discredited. Perhaps they
have agreed to live apart for a time as a
preventive to disagreement.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THE big life insurance business in Penn
sylvania last year is an evidence that the
people are able to save money and to invest
their savings in a very conservative form.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22
Water Must Be Scarce.
Boston Herald,

Boston Herald.
Clevelandphobia in the office Of the New
York Sun was never more acute than at
present. --.-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

THE report that Secretary Foster, in re-
cent interview, after speaking of the extern
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

BIG crops are going to knock out the ar
tificial scarcity theory at the same time
with the politics of the pessimists.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

would in time fix the proper level of sleep
ing car charges as correctly as it does the
price of a busheI of corn.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-22

A CHARMING children's party was given last
evening by Mrs. Charles Goodwin, of Din
widdie street. in honor of her daughter
Emily's 9th birthday. There were about 100
children present.
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30
THE NATIVITY.
Dr. Talmags Prsaches q Sermon
Appropriate 70 the Season

a. Kzaqu<nt word Rietsrs of christnas
MEht IN BsthIshsn-Ac Gina Bern IN
. Manager That Esentaally Ne
came the Saviour sf ths
Worid-How God Has
nonorsd Chnd-
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30
ANOTHER CRANK.
A Young Man Calls at Cornelius
VanderbilIs Residences and
ASKS FOR THE MAGNATE's
Brains for q Comparison With His Own
in Order to Bee Why
VANDERBILT IS RICH

And He d Poor-He IL Taken In CUSTODY
and Held for Ezamlnstion as TO Mental
= sonpdness. ~rs 1~Ef
NEW YoRK. Dec. 2s.-New York has
once more been startled by the appear
ance of q new crank. He is young
man. barely 20 years of age. and, q
member of the Young Mems Christian
association Saturday night he called
at the Vanderbilt mansion at about iC
p m and asked the servant who re-
sponded to his ring whether Mr.. Corne
Hus Vanderbilt was in. The answer
was in the affirmative.
81 wish to see him." said the stran-
ger. He was told that Mr. Vanderbilt
was engaged in the parlor with some
friends and could not be Interrupted.
II want his brains exclaimed the
young man in a voice sufficiently loud
TO reach the ears OF the magnate and
his guests.
The servant hastily tried to close the
door. Perceiving his purpose, the
stranger placed his foot between the
door and the janb, and through the
aperture thus left, continued his IRA
tional ejacuiations-
Tell Mr.. Vanderbilt that / want his
brains for medical examination. He Is
rich and am poor and want to have
both our brains examined TO see what
the difference is between them"
While he was thus delivering himself,
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30
win " ork Under Old Rules.

WASHINGTON, Dec 2s.-The house
committee on rules has made little on
no progress with the important work O.
preparing a new code of rules for tn,
guidance Of the house. Speaker CrisI
has been entirely too i'll to give any at
tention TO the matter. and Mr.. McMil
lin is out Of the city. The house vii
therefore continue Mt work under the
rules of the congress over which Mr..
Carlisle presided for at least two. anc
probably three weeks after tho holiday
recess is over. II is not expected that
this will work 10 any disadvantage, n
no important business is expected Il
come before the house until some OF
the committees have considered the
bills referred 10 them and some report
have been placed upon the calendar.
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30
TIE Coles LINE
Causes the Murder of Conductor on Q
FlaridA ItAilroad-

Causes the Murder of Conductor on Q
Fla-idA RAiiroad
LEEsBUEe. Fla. Dec. eS-J. E Par
riamore, a conductor running trair
between Orlando and wildwood, wa:
shot and killed early Sunday morning
by a negro passenger whom he ordered
out of the coach assigned for white pas
sengers The negro sullenly took his
seat in the colored car, threatening to
kill the conductor. A few moments
later, after the conductor had passed
the negro in the car, the latter carried
his threat into execution, shooting Par
riamore through the head, killing him
Instantly
The negro escaped. but the entire
community is in state Of excitement
and hundreds Of white men are out
searching for him with bloodhounds
The blacks are also arming, but wheth
er to assist in capturing the murderer
or to protect him is not known In tht
event of their interfering with the
posse n bloody race battle Is feared
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

PHILADELPHIA, Dee 2a-Henry J.
Wallace. travelling man OF Stamford
Conn. created u sensation In the dining.
room Of the Girard house yesterday
afternoon While the guests were II
dinner he entered the place. shoutins
at the top Of his voice The walters at
tempted 20 eject him but he 20 fiercely
opposed them that the police had TO bs
called Wallace was taken 70 his room
where = physician examined him and
pronounced him temporarily insane.
The unfortunate man N closely gunred
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

KASsAs CrY, No, Dec 2a-Yester
day afternoon Antonio Ssnsone, one OF
the wealthiest and most prominent
Italians Of this city, and who is well
known in the east a. the owner Of fast
horses. shot and fatally wounded Clio
seppi Manchirechini in the saloon Of
Nochia & Luboy. The men had for
merly been good friends, and through
the Offices of ManchirechinL sansone
was induced TO loan another Italian
s12s. which was never returned. The
too men have frequently quArrelec
ostr the affair. and sunday afternoons
meeting proved fatal
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

Bosrox, Dec GA destructive fire
in the fourstory building. iss, 1856 and
1H Federal street. last night caused
damage 10 the building aggregating
tl1s. 900; fully insured Several fro
men were severely injured !.
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

AsBUHY PARK. N. J., Dec 9s-Silas
K Cheney, . largo property owner
here and resident for three years, has
mysteriously disappeared and nothing
has been heard of him for the past
month Mr.. Cheney is brother-in-law
of Horace Greeley and holds stock in
the New York Tribune association.
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

yoxKERs n Y. Dec. 2a-Lawyer
Dennis Murphy died at 10 o'clock Sat-
urdsy night in St Joseph's hospital In
this city. This makes twelve victims
IN All Of the railroad accident
The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1891-12-30

In fact everything that is required in the grocery and
provision line can be found at Tucker & Coles
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1891-02-16
To be Robbed OF lgeaifb

By pestilental climate, by a vocation entailing
constant exposure physical oyerwork or sedentary
drudgery at the desk, is hard lot Yet many
persons originally possessed of fair constitution
suffer this deprivation before the meridian Of lie
is passed To any and all subject to conditions
inimieal to health, no purer or more agreeable
preseryatipe Of the greatest Of earthly blessings
EN- be recommended than Hostetter's stomach
Bitters, which inures the system TO climatic
change, ply steal fatigue and mental exhaustion.
IL eradicates dyspepsia, the bane OF seientary
brain workers, preserves and restores regularity
OF the bowels and liver, when disordered from any
cause. annihilates fever and ague and prevents IT,
checks the growth OF a tendency to rheumatism
aud goxt,a neutralizes the danger 10 be appre-
hended from causes productive OF kidney bladder
and uterine ailments. To be convinced OF the
truth these statements, il is only necessary 60
give this sterling preparation an impartial G. ial
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1891-02-16
FOR over Fifty Fears

Mas. MISSIONS SOOTHING SYRUP has been used
oy millions Of mothers fer their children while
teething. II disturbed at night and broken OF
your rest by a sick child suffering aud crying with
pain of cutting teeth send at on and get bottle
OF Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup fer Children
Teething. IL will relieve the poor little sufferer
Immediately Depend upon il, mothers, there
is no mistake about il. It cures Diarrhma, regu-
lates the stomach and Bowels, cures Wind Collie,
softens the Gums, reduces Inflammation, and
gives tone and energy to the whole system.
"Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup" for children
teething is pleasant to the taste, and is the pre-
scription OF one OF the oldest and best female
physicians ard nurses in the United Stat 5. Sold
by all druggists throughout the world. Price
twenty-five cents bottle. BE sure and ask for
MRS. WINsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP.
f9.lY-m-w-f.