The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1891-08-08
THE INSANE LECTURE!
IContinued from First Page.

| display"-41 in number-are now nego-
tiating with the Durham Fertilizer COM
pany with a view to selling to that con-
Germ, for guano purposes, the clothing
that they wore on that occasion-think
that if the abandoned articles in question
were added to a 200 tons Of the Bull
guano, it would bring that compound up
to the required analysis, thus putting a
stop TO all further grumbling on account
of deficiency Of strength in that COM
modify. Immediately after the retreat
from the rostrum, the lights were turned
off by some n of the roistering egg
merchants; thus leaving the audience in
woeful darkness, and ~suffocatingly en-
veloped in the odor of the chen fruit"
This was a disgraceful proceeding,
frowned upon by all the decent portion
| of our citizens have been toll
Grated had there been no ladies present
the ladies are cautioned to remain at
home in the event of the professor giving
another lecture on a similartopic: Messrs.
Stokes and Geer, the prOprietors of the
| opera house, have offered 800 to any
one who will scrub and deodoriZe that
institution; but have not, as yet, found
the person willing to accept the green
backs under such fearful co~nditions-the
dusky son and daughters of the prophet
Ham view the tempting offer from afar,
while that pig tail celestial, All Ding
JT.l 49, - 80 (Co1oloo hn1lon
stinkee" for him. All the merchants and
other business men, for a distance of four
blocks around the odoriferous place, have
closed their establishments for the sum
mer and will rusticate in the mountains
or battle at Morehead City till the storm
blows over. Col. Al Fairbrother occu-
| pied a seat on that unpleasant platform,
but seeing the cyclone brewing in the
near distance, discretely v%acatedthis place
of honor and slipped into the ante-room,
was there meditatively contemplating the
evening star through and open window,
when the pillows began to break wildly
over the rostrum. Fifteen seconds after
the gale commenced the other occupants
Of the speakers stand came tun4bling,
pell NELL into his port Of refuge, all wet
and dripping from the odorous waves.
Professor Campbell, in his eager haste to
escape the egg shower, ran over and up
set Colonel Maynor, who fell sprawling
upon the floor, this mishap causing him
to be the last one to reach the ante-room,
which be entered as mad. as the bull of
Bashan. Seeing Colonel Fairbrother
standing at the window, smiling at the
predicament of the cf5~'d, faced him and
said:
See here, Fairbrother, this thing was
a put up job, and you were at the head
Of the develish plot. Now square your
self, for I'm going to shoot the top off
of that uncombed head Of yours" He
then attempted to draw a large horse
"pistual' from his hip pocket, but was
quickly disarmed by Colonel Al, who
then pitched him out of the window, and
with such force that he brought up
against Old Chunks cheroot factory on
the opposite side of the street, smashing
in the front Of that s%chebang, the build
ing then toppled over and buried the
unfortunate man beneath a mountain of
dehris-like Sampson Of old in the man
ner Of his death, and like him, life's bat
tie lis now fought, and he sleeps forever.
1t appears that Their has been bad blood
between Mr.. Fairbrother and Colonel
Maynor for sometime back, Maynor hav,
ing took unbrage at some witty remarks
made by Colonel AL in THE GLOBE, but
the ill-will was altogether on the side of
our friend, Mr.. Maynor. Mr.. Fairbrother
now deeply regrets the sad affair, he is
impulsive, quick to resent an insult, and
as prompt to forget and-christian like
to forgive. DR.. johnson the coroner,
held an inquest over what remained of
the mortal part of Mr.. Maynor this
morning, and after patiently hearing all
the evidence obtainable in the case, re-
turned a verdict Of "justifiable homi-
eide" The funeral was preached at 4
o'clock this p. m, by the Rev. Father
Gunbo O'TOol, in St. HOstetter's Cathts
lie church, of which the deceased had
been a consistent member for. 80 wears.
After the funeral ceremonies were over,
the coffin was placed in a hearse at the
church door, and as it slowly moved up
Main street, the carriages-four hundred
and thirty nine in number, containing
the weeping relatives and friends, fell
into line Immediately in the rear. Colonel
Fairbrother, as chief mourner, with I'm
covered head and streaming eyes, SUP
ported on either side by Captain Pete
Briggs and Colonel Professor Sheppe,
wended his way in front Of the bier-re-
~lentless woe and fearful grief %personifed.
At each step of the sad journey a trail of
scalding tears, three feet broad, believed
the ground, while his piercing, piteous
sobs were distinctly heard in Oxford,
twenty-eight miles away. Just here we
want Mr.. Fairbrother, and the public