davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
ONLY AN ACCIDENT.
But 1t Has Given Rise tn Much Good
Natured Ralllery.

A well-known young lady of this
city recently met with an accident
which has occasioned her much annoy
ance, by reason of the good-natured
rallying of her friends, says the St.
Paul Pioneer Press. 1t would hardly
be fair to mention the lady's name, but
her acquaintances will readily recog-
nize her by her personal charms, her
bright, winning ways and her many
accomplishments. among the latter be-
ing that of horseback riding. in which
she is an expert. She never lacks for
escorts in her rides about the country
and few days since she and male
companion. also well known in the
city, rode out to one of the lakes be-
yond the northern boundary of town.
While riding along the beach the
gentleman suggested that it would be
a good play to allow the horses to
drink, and, acting on the suggestion,
they rode into the water until it nearly
reached the stirrups of their saddles.
1t was warm day. they had been
riding fast and the cool water was
very grateful to the beasts. The horse
which the young lady was riding, after
enjoying the situation for some min-
utes. seemed to reason that if to have
his legs submerged was so pleasurable
it would be much more so to put his
whole anatomy under water.
Acting on this idea he proceeded TO
lie down, entirely regardless of his fair
burden. There was feminine scream,
a splash. a masculine ejaculation. an
other splash. and then the gentleman
was wading to the shore carrying the
dripping form of his companion in his
arms. Several spectators who had ar
rived on the scene say that it took the
gentleman an unreasonably long time
to reach terra firma. but he finally sue
ceeded in landing his burden. Now
the young lady declares she will never.
never ride into the water again, but
she probably does not mean it, while
the young man acts as though he would
give a weeks salary to have the acci-
dent occur again.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01

Nothing seems to burn into the
memory aud heart of child as an un-
deserved punishment. however trifiing
the matter may seem to the admit in
fictor. In some children of the sunny.
hopeful type the wave of Indignation
and helpless. unspoken protest against
unjust correct ton passes away, and
leaves apparently no trace. To other
children. with more sensitive natures
or more rebellious dispositions. unjust
words of reproof kindle fires of rage,
which shoulder with sullen persistence
under the ashes of seeming forgetful-
ness ready to burst out violently and
unexpectedly. Ii this seems an over
drawn picture one has only TO think
backward to ones own childish days,
aud to recall the time when careless
treatment BY the elder first taught us
TO be bitter, unforgiving. resentful.
childis sense of justice is as keen
as his heart is tender, and this is one
of the qualities most necessary to a
noble character; q quality that must
be blended with truth aud honor and
self-sacrilice TO give the right balance to
dispositions that would otherwise work
harm. A child's justice is always tenn
pered with mercy to those he loves.
and when in the home he is justly and
teHtlerly dealt with, he learns little by
little that higher sense of justice to-
wards all with whom be comes in con-
tact When his own small rights are
carelessly and continually thrust aside.
he, too. learns to play the brigand. to
invent devices to achieve the might
which he has learned makes right
HarDer's Bdzur.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
THE FORCE OF HABIT.


1t was after dinner at Youne's says
the Boston Globe. A well-known Com
monwealth avenue physician had been
dining with few professional eronies.
md. rs the cigars were lighted the
talk drifted to the tobacco habit first
in its effect upon the race at large. and
then its peculiar effects upon various
individuals.
Il know a man." said the elder ply
sieian. whose income. By the way. runs
into five figures. lin fact, he is now in
nay employ. who is the victim of the
strangest whim in regartl-te HI. ase of
the weed that ever came under my OBJ
servntion. He is a Scotchnan about 60
wears old Twelve years ago he desert
ed from the English navy AMI came to
this country. when | gave him a posi-
tion as eoaehman.
s.One morning went into the stable
and noticed that hole about two feet
square had been cut in partition be-
tween two stalls and a little shelf had
been nailed up underneath it. won
dered what on earth it had been done
for. but Donald was away at the time.
and when he came back it had Slipped
my mind.
at was as much as week after
ward before | had occasion to go into
the stable again, and when | did 1
found Donald standing on a stool,
leaning his elbow on the shelf, with
long clay pipe in his mouth. smok-
ing away like good one and blowing
the smoke through the little window
he had cut. Upon my questioning him
he told me that of the twenty years he
had passed in her majesty's service ten
of them had been on board a powder
ship. where the rules against smoking
-f1E
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
He wan.ed @ Hear Him.

Il think about the most amusing
letter l ever received" said MIR.
Chauncey NJ. Depew the other day.
'.was one l found ON my desk in the
Grand Central one morning. 1t was
directed to me personally; the paper
was heavy lined note and the hand
writing evidently that of well-edu-
Gated man. When l opened it l found
1t began To the Hon. Chauueey Nj.
Depew,' and after my name were the
initials of all the college degrees / ever
heard of aud many | never saw before.
Then it went on something like this:
Dear and Most Honored Sir:
have read of your after-dinner speeches.
and while it has never been my good
fortune to listen to your eloquence.
have delighted in such published re-
ports of your utterances as / have been
able to secure
so much have they impressed me
that ! have but one great wish. 1t is
70 listen to the speech you
Here reached the end of the page
There were two dinners on my list at
the time. and l supposed the writer
wanted to find out from me how he
could hear the speeches of one of them.
l turned the page over, full of charit-
able wish to accede to his request, and
read:
would make after dinner in
your railway restaurant at Pough-
keepsiern-M Y. Continent
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01

A story Toid on smnrt Eneiishman In
America.

A good story Is told at the expense
of one Englishman WHO came to this
country with the British and German
steel manufacturers last October. The
American system of checking trunks
seems to have puzzled the Foreigners
not little, and when the party ar
rived at New York they had among
them fully 300 pieces of baggage.
Here their difficulties commenced.
After doing" the cities along the At
lantic coast, in which the baggage got
into terribly mixed state. the party
returned To New York. preceding the
Pittsburg trip. At the hitter point 400
pieces Of baggage had arrived during
the first two days. The entire Quilt
was wrathy, and the male portion
heartily cursed the railroads and all
things American.
But the cruelest thing happened TO a
young Britisier. BY mistake he had
checked his boxes through to
Chicago from New York. At Pitts
burg he was in sorry plight. No
baggage but small hand bag to dress
from during the four days visit. Up
on arriving ut the Auditorium he WAS
in a high state of perturbation.
Have me bawxes arrivedP" said he
TO the clerk.
..Hey?';
,'Me bawxes.''
..Eh! 0. your trunks. Front! Find
the gentleman's trunks
They were not to be found. The
clerk suggested that they might be at
the station. He would send for them
next trip.
"Cawn't watt" growled the English
man. I've been week without me
bawxes. I'll go myself"
A cab was called and with tip to
cabby to Jingle of quick. now" the
station was soon reached.
Have you me bawxes hereP" said he
to the agent.
.Huhn'
ME bawxesp"
Trunks. dye meanp Let's see yer
checks
''Me checksl checks" was the
puzzled answer; ''bless me starsi
Cawn't understand! L."
HI. man. yer Off Want yer trunk
checks. Here. these things he ex-
claimed showing check.
.'Oi it's me brawses you want. 1
locked them in me bawxes. I'll have
to get me bawxes first"
Well, that beats my timer ejacu-
lated the baggageman. ..Sayi you
ought to get under cover. o. yes, I'll
find EN-" Aud lie did Chicago Iri-
bune.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
should BE Thankful.

A carpenters right shoulder is al
most invariably higher than his left. in
consequence of having to use his right
arm all the time in planning and ham.
mering, saws the Detroit Free Press.
With every shaving his shoulder rises
with jerk and it finally becomes
natural to him to hold himself in that
way.
The right arm of blacksmith, for
the same reason, is almost hypertro-
phied, while the left arm, from disuse,
becomes atrophied.
A shoemaker is almost always round
shouldered from continually bending
over the last between his knees as he
sews and hammers.
The head of bricklayer's laborer is
held aloft with a naughty. self-reliant
air from his habit of carrying hod on
his shoulder and looking above him as
he climbs up the scaffolding.
All good orators have most abnorm-
ally wide mouths. This is the direct
consequence of their habit of using
sonorous words and speaking with
deliberation and correct pronunciation.
If one practices this before The glass
one can see that the muscles in the
cheeks are stretched more than ordi.
narily, and the mouth is extended
great deal more than in everyday con-
versation. Then. too. nature has
something to do with it. A large
mouth. like prominent nose. is sign
of power. But all men with big
mouths are not orators. Thank heaven
for thati
Cowboys and cavalrymen are usual
ly bowlegged. But ali bowlegged peo-
pie are not cowboNs-for which they
should be grateful.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
THE SPEED OF INSECTS.
Common House Flies Can Tr.,veI at a
Rate That Is Simply Marvellous.

There are MANY insects which one
would little suspect to be furnished
with apparatus suited to swift and
more or less continuous flight. House
flies frequent the insitie of our win
dows, buzzing sluaoishly in and out of
the room But what different Great
ures are they when they accompany
your horse on hot summers day. A
swarm of these little pests keeps per-
tinaciously on wing about the horses
ears; quicken the pace up to ten or
twelve miles an hour still they are
there; let gust of wind arise. and
carry them backward and behind-the
breeze having dropped. their speed is
redoubled and they return to their post
of annoyance to the poor horse even
when urged to its fastest pace.
But this example gives only a partial
proof of the ay's power of flight, as the
following from the N. Y Ledger will
show: The writer was travelling one
day in autumn by rail at about twenty
five miles an hour when a company of
flies put in an appearance at the car
window They never settled, but cas-
ily kept pace with the train; so much
so. indeed, that their Hight seemed to
be almost mechanical, aud a thought
struck the writer that they had prob
ably been drawn into a kind of vortex
whereby tney were carried onward
with but little exertion on the part of
themselves. But this notion was sooa
disproved. They sailed forth at right
angles from the train, flew to a dis
tance of thirty or forty feet. still keep
ing pace, and then returned with in
creased speed and buoyancy to the
window.
To account for this. look at the
wings of a fly. Each is composed of
an upper and lower membrane, be-
tween which the blood vessels and
respiratory organs ramify so as to
form a delicate network for the ex-
tended wings. These are used with
great quiekuess. and probably six hum
dred strokes are made per second.
This would carry the fly about twenty
five feet, but seven-fold velocity can
easily be attained, making 175 feet per
second, SO that under certain circum-
stances it can outstrip racehorse. If
a small insect like a fly can outstrip a
racehorse, an insect as large as horse
would travel very much faster than a
cannon ball.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
Gladstone,s Guiding star.

She is one of the most charming
looking women you ever saw. declares
a correspondent of The Ladies Home
journal; a sweet, kind face framed in
full, soft, lovely hair, and topped by
cap of velvet and lace. A gown that
falls in artistic folds and doesn't rustic,
and a way of looking at you as if she
were interested in everything you said
that's Mrs. Gladstone. She does not
care for society, as is meant by the
round of balls and receptions. and the
giving and going to them; but she is
delighted when she is at the head of
her own dinner table and has about her
a circle of friends who know and love
her and Mr.. Gladstone. Unlike the
wife of any other Prime Minister she
never went in for having a salon, for
surrounding herself with rich and pow
erful friends who would simply care to
be received at the house of a Prime
Minister, and yet have no real interest
in the cause which he so thoroughly
aud entirely championed. Instead,
she has given her time to caring for
him.. to seeing that he was under any
and all circumstances as comfortable
as possible. and, that in this way, bis
health was preserved for the nation
for whom he did so much good. Her
happiest moments are when she is with
her husband at Hawarden, but on
every important occasion she has al
ways been by his side. just remem-
Der that this means going over the
country in railway trains. being for
hours on open-air platforms, and then
you will understand why the people of
England worship Mrs. Gladstone as a
heroine.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
Lew wallace Is Funny.

Gen. Lew Wallace, the author of
Ben Hur," and ex-minister, was once
asked if he had seen NJ de BIowitz of
Paris the correspondent of the London
Times. He replied: Il have heard
him blow. but never seen his wits"
This is credited as one of the gener-
ais Turkish jokes: There lived in
Stamboul, Turkey, well-to-do Turk
named Ismail Hassan. He did not
have the eloquence of our ingalls, nor
the imagination of a Rider Hageard,
but he was endowed with ready ORR
entail wit that stood him well in hand
when he was in tight place. A
neighbor called upon Ismail one day
and wanted to borrow his donkey to
use an hour. Ismail made a low
salaam and said:
..Neighbor. am sorry. but my boy
started on the donkey an hour ago to
Scutar. By now he is gaily trotting
over the hills far from the sacred pre-
cincts of Staniboul."
just as Ismail finished his speech. a
donkey's loud bray was heard in the
stable, which was under the same roof
as Ismail's house. but in the rear. The
neighbor said:
''Ah, l hear your donkey bray"
Ismail protested that his neighbor's
ears were deceived and that the noise
was not donkey's bray. Then the dom
key. which was supposed to be jogging
along toward Scutari, brayed twice
loudly. 1t was too much, and the
neighbor cried:
.'Oh. that is you donkey. Ismaii;
Allah help me, l can now borrow him. y
Then Ismaii said: Which do you
believe is lying, the donkey or meP"
The neighbor had to give Ismail
the benefit of the dou!f, and went
away.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
Gen. Miles on the Indian Question.

Gen. Miles has some very positive
opinions as TO the governments treat
ment of the Indians and its duty in the
present crisis. 1t is his firm belief that
an Indian can be made submissive by
feeding and clothing him properly. If
the redskins received all they are en-
titled to, there would not be, in the
opinion of Gen. Miles. any more out
breaks like the one of the past three
months. 1t costs less money to feed
an Indian than it does to fight him,
and the results are better all round.
Gen. Miles is also in favor of the
speedy and liberal adjustment of the
claims of those Indians who remained
loyal to the government. and who lost
everything but the tepees in which
they now live by the raid of the ghost
dancing hostiles, who broke away
from the Rosebud aud Northern
agencies. If an Indian is to lose his
cabin, his horses. aud his cows for be-
ing loyal to the government, and then
be compelled to sit in squalor and
misery until the administration makes
up its too frequently sluggish mind to
reimburse him. there should be no
surprise, in the opinion of Gen. Miles,
if the neglected sufferer turned savage.
and sought the sport the Brules in the
present campaign have enjoyed with
out punishment and almost without
hinderanee.
Gen. Miles is also of the belief that
the chances of further trouble in the
spring can be minimized by the re-
moval to distant territory of some of
the leaders of the irreconcilable ele-
ment, as was done with the Apaches in
the southwest, &C q. Seymour, IL,
Hdgper's Weekly.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01


,Didn' yo' never hear bout elpen-
stretehersP. asked Sam Hopkins the
other day.
Sam Is Il little colored chap that runs
errauds aud makes himself generally
useful about an uptown hotel. He
halls from Charlottesville. Va, and
what Sam doesn't know about the Vir-
ginia woods isn't worth knowing. Sam
may tritie with the truth sometimes.
but he puts on such an air of injured
innocence when any of his statements
are doubted that you almost forced to
believe him.
'tNever hyard bout elpenstretchersP"
he again repeated. why. they're the
euriusest birds III all Virginny. What
they's like? Why. bless yo' stars they
aint like nothin in these hyur parts.
Yo' kin only find 'em in the swamps
back o. Charltsville. in the spring
time. too.
..Whar they is in the summer They
ain't uowhar. They's jess frogs an
an lizards. Well, when yo' want fur
to shoot elpen stretchers yo' takes yo'
gun and goes out in the swamp at
night. Yo' see they burrows 10 the
ground day times and comes out at
night to feed.
"Fhey's bigger n quail an most as
big as Il EN-. Amt got no feathers
only long bristlcs like porkypine.
They're as black as your hat, too, an
looks like Il young rooster with his
feathers all pulled out. Good to eatp
Yes. stree. Mos as good as 'possom.
Yo' has to be mighty keerful, too, for
if elpenstretcher sticks yo' with one
of them ar quils, you's a dead man.
sartin sure. In the summer time they
changes into lizards an frogs. They's
jess the bigges frogs you ever see. too.
AN yo' never hyard of soras.
neither2 Well sakes alivei Why,
me an my cousin Bill killed mos
thousand of 'em in one night. Soras
Is Jess like blackbirds. only smaller.
''All yo' has to do is to go in the woods
with pichwood light an long pole.
jess went out one night with light an
pole. AM Bill he held a big bag.
jess as fas' as I'd knock 'em of the
limb they'd fall in Bills bag. But
they's common all over Yirginny."
Then they's the gingas cactus, big
germ helephant and the whangdoo-
die bird that fiy's aroun' nights and
carries off pigs and cattle. An say,
mister. they's got Il green bug down
there mos foot high an
.iHor ON sah! Tint ain't half they's
got down there" Then. ms l had
turned to leave, after expressing my
incredulity. Sam remarked with an air
of injured innocence:-
We'll, ef it don't jess beat me These
hyar Yankees wont b'lieve nuthin' less
they sees 'em. ~. Y. Herald.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
china ana perii.

The Chinese coolies in Peru have
rendered useful service. the railway
system being in great part the work Of
their hands. Owing. ho r, to the
barbarous treatment VIII: iey have
received aud still reee certain
properties. the Chinese government
has prohibited emigration to Peru, and
the supply of eoolie labor is thus at an
end. On some estates the coolies are
compelled to work in irons TO prevent
their running away They are also
locked up at night. and undergo cruel
fortunes wien punishment is exercised.
The truck system prevailing, the poor
eoolie is always in debt to his master,
who often makes profit even upon
the opium retaiied ia part payment Of
wages. To the credit of the Peruvians,
how ever. it should be said that the
estates in Peru chiefly conspicuous for
nfaltreaiiBent of the Chinese laborers
are owned aud niailaged By foreigners.
-hate hisitss Iinssiilgton.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01

The packages of tea. each about four
feet long. six inches broad, and three
to four thick. and Weighing from sew
enteen to twenty-three pounds, are
placed horizontally one above the
other. the upper ones projecting SO as
to come over the porter's head. They
are held tightly together by eoir ropes
and little bamboo stakes; straps, also
of plated coir ropes. pass over the por-
ter's shoulders, while a little string
fastened to the top of the load helps to
balance the huge structure, which it
requires more knack than strength to
carry, for its weight must bear on all
the back and only slightly on the
shoulders. In their hands the porters
carry short crutch which they place
under the load when they wish to rest
without removing it from their backs.
The average load is nine packages, or
from 100 to 200 pounds, but l passed
number of men carrying seventeen
packages, and one had twenty-one. A
man, l was told, had few years ago
brought an iron safe weighing four
hundred pounds for Mgr. Biet from
Ya-chou to Ta-chien-lu in twenty-two
days. Old or decrepit people COM
monty travel along this road borne on
the backs of porters. Many of the
women porters carried seven packages
of tea, nearly two hundred pounds.
and children of five and six trudged
on behind their parents with one or
two. The price paid for the work is
twenty tael cents (about twenty-five
cents) package. and it takes about
seventeen days to make the trip from
Ya-chou. So far as my knowledge
goes there are no porters in any other
part of the world who carry such
weights as these Ya-chou tea-coolies;
and strange as it may appear. they are
not very muscular. and over half of
them are confirmed opium smokers
Lieat. RocktiU. IN Century.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-05-01
sPoTTERs ON sTREET.c4Rs.



Every street-car line Ia New York
employs from forty to sixty spot
ters,n who are paid 20 cents a round
trip. and whose business It is TO see
that all fares received are rung up on
the car Indicator.
Its the ensiest thing in the world"
said 4: Broadway car conductor to n
World man s,for us TO spot them. In
the first place they have to keep track
of every person who gets on the car.
and they can be seen taking notes.
The usual method is for the spotter to
carry poeketful of beans. As pas
senger gets on the ear he transfers
bean from the full pocket to an empty
one, and when he leaves the car. as he
usually does when it nearly reaches
the terminus. he looks ut the Indicator.
and at his leisure counts the beans and
sees IL the number tallies with that
shown on the register
Usually the spottcr gets on the car
about five blocks from the starting
place. One of them once told a friend
OF mine that he had two pockets in
one, so he didn't have To take his hand
c,it Mt all. The spoilers word is al
ways taken, and it is seldom that a
conductor gets anything but his dis
missal notice.
uCiN 10 Nv aPiCttA AAOh8 nto AStOAt<
Seven trips day is the average made
by these men. and if they do not re-
port Il man or two week the officials
think they are not attending to busi-
ness. There is one consolation to
honest conductors. however. and that
IL that the spoilers have men to watch
them. and no one spotter is known to
another. Their statements are all
mailed to the ear superintendent at his
residence. aud they get their pay each
mouth by mail. II sometime happens
that two will board the same car un-
known to each other. and perhaps give
in different reports. Whenever ] am
sure of spotter / give him the sixth
degree as he gets off the car.
Il can't tell you how it is done. but
it works TO charm. and before night
four or five other conductors know
him. and the next day he is known to
as many more. so that in few weeks
most of us get on as the boys say.
1t never fails. and the spotter becomes
walking sign TO the men on the road,
whose ewes are as keen as can be-