davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
i l''jlFl', |, az

Nv society Woman at q 1hls -
Cred ted with ssome gnique sayinS sSSi
Washing ton society, like every other
society, has its Mrs Malaprop, = good
lady who has said several good things
Of an inappropriate kind and gets the
credit at the clubs and dinner parties OF
having said ten Zines as many, says the
Boston Herald. The Mrs. Malaprop OF
Washington is one Of the new-rich who
have revolutionizedt the architecture and
the society of Washington. .
The smart society people go to-
their beautiful house, eat their delicious
terrapin, drink their perfect champagne
and get off witty remarks about them
if possible quoting them or pretending
to, so as to make them ridiculous all
of which, need not say, is considered
quite good etiquette, even if it is not
good manners. .
Well, Mrs. Malaprop has climbed up
on her husbands bank account through
the usual ways into society" and
while she gets along very we'll occat
sionally lapses little in conversation,
the lapses being carefully recorded by
her dear new friends.
To the daughters of one of the most
distinguished diplomats she is reported
to have said: 81 am so glad to meet
you. / have been hearing you spoken
of so much as the pretty Miss Legation,
the clever Miss Legation. Do tell me
which of you is the pretty one and
which is the clever one"
Again to famous army officer and
his wife, who were telling how much
they had enjoyed her dinner party, she
cheerily said: ~ thought you would
like to meet some nice people"
Being presented to a plainly dressed
woman whose name she did not catch
she said in the course of conversation
that Washington was a delightful city
for people in moderate circumstances.
''There are so many pretty little houses
such as you, madam, might find suita:r
ble," she said, addressing, unwittingly,
one of the richest of the old residents,
whose fine house on Lafayette square
is almost historical, and who had the
tact and kindness not to set her right.
Perhaps Mrs. Malaprop's most famous
speech is of as late date as last spring,
Just before she went abroad. Coming
down to meet a morning caller in her
wrapper Mrs. Malaprop said, sweetly:
You really must excuse me for coming
down in my nom de plume, but have
been busy packing all the morning"
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
EGGS ON A BUSH.
A Fruit That Cannot BE Distin guished
from the Product of the Hen.

A Fruit That Cannot BE Distin guished
from the Product of the Hen.
Among the many curious things in
the plant world, such as flowers that
eat flies, the Holy Ghost plant, that
bears white dove in it's petals, and
others equally interesting, there is none
more curious than the solanum gatat-
rum, recent addition to Golden Gate
park conservatory, says the San Fran
cisco inquirer.
This plant bears hard boiled eggs for
fruit. At least the fruit resembles a
hard-boiled egg with the shell taken off,
as nearly as a truly egg can.
There are three eggs on the par
plant-one as large as a pigeons egg,
another the size of a turkeys product
and the third is about five and a. half
inches long by two and a half wide. In
color they are identical TO the blush.
white of the cooked article of hen pro-
duction. The laying plant was the
great objectof attraction in the conserv-
atory and groups of people stood
before it all day, wondering what it
was and whether the fruit was good
to eat.
Gardener Monroe received it about a
month ago from Mr.. Silverine, of Ben
icia. The plant belongs to the solanum
family, in which are included the po-
tato, the tomato and the deadly night
shade It is first cousin to the purple
eggplant, an article Of food extensively
sold in San Francisco markets, and is
equally as palatable and nutritious.
The blossom is small, of a rich purple
hue and when the flower drops off a lit
tie white egg is seen. This grows to
about the size of it's cousin, the pear
shaped eggplant of commerce. But the
white variety preserves its perfect egg
shape in all stages Of its development.
It thrives in the open air wherever
the purple plant grows, and is Guilt
waited in the same way. Another vari-
ETY. of the same family bears golden
yellow fruit, but the white variety is
the only one in which the fruit is of the
ovoid form.
When pressed between the fingers the
white fruit is found to possess the same
soft, elastic feeling as a hard boiled egg.
The interior is filled with cells and
small seeds, like the purple plant or the
tomato.
Aside from its utility as an article Of
food it is priced for it's rarity and beauty.
The plant stands about two feet high
and has broad, soft, oval leaves of dark
green.
Although it has been in the conserva-
tory only about month it has not
palled upon the public interest, but it is
visited daily by botanists and others
Interested in watching the development
Of the little egg.
B. The fruit possesses one defect t
cannot; be Matched into broilers.
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
English Convicts.

The report of the directors of convict
prisons in England for the year 10000,
Just issued, shows that the mum Der OF
male convicts received into the convict
prisons under fresh sentences during
the year ended March 81, 1891, was COS,
besides 80 with licenses revoked or re-
committed to serve out the period re-
mitted from their former sentences.
The number of female convicts received
into the convict prisons under fresh
sentences during the year ended March
81, 1891, was q, besides % with licenses
revoked or recommitted to serve out the
period RENTED from their former SEN
fences. The number Of sentences Of
penal servitude passed BY ordinary
courts IN England and Wales in 1896
namely, 729 was lower than in any
previous year.
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
THE DUKE OF PERSlGNY.
How Ee Crunched and Crumb}ed tina |
Cigarettes of His Imperial Master. |


The announcement of the forthcom-
ing publication Of the memoirs of the
late duke Of Persigny, who was the in.
innate friend and fdus achatcs of Ma
poleon ILL.,, recalls an amusing anec.
dote in connection with the proverbial
shortness of the dukes temper, says
the New York Recorder. Of all Ma
poleon's encourage there was no one
who spoke to him with such freedom as
Persigny, who did not hesitate to storm
and rail against him in the most forcible
manner upon the slightest provocation.
Indeed, matters came to such pass
that Napoleon was prepared for scene
whenever he saw his friend Persigny
enter his room. He, however, used to
take things philosophically and was
wont to sit perfectly still with down
cast eyes, quietly smoking his eternal
cigarette, until the duke had worked
off some of his vehemence and indigna-
ton, without making the slightest at
tempt to check or interrupt his re-
marks. Only on one occasion did he
venture to do so, and it was in connec-
ton with his cigarettes.
Persigny had the peculiar habit, as
soon as he got excited, Of striding
toward the open box in which the EN-.
peror kept his cigarettes and of Selling
them by the handful. He would then
crunch them in his hands and crumble
them just in the same manner as bread
all over the floor in the violence Of his
arguments, throwing them broken and
reduced to tobacco dust upon the carpet,
the chairs, sofas, and in fact every
where. The emperor used to watch
him do this with look of despair on
his face, and whenever he had time
made point of hiding away the
cigarettes before Persigny entered the
room. One day, however, when he had
been unable to take this precaution and
when the duke was more than ordinarily
hard upon the cigarettes Napoleon
plaintively remarked to his small but
exceedingly fierce friend:
Look here, Persigny, pitch into me
as much as you like, but for Gods sake
leave my cigarettes alone They're do
ing YOU no harm, are tney?"
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
Maps OF the Stars.

The civilized nations of the earth
have agreed to cooperate in taking a
Photographic chart. of the heavens.
Some twenty telescopes are to work
four years and will result in mapping
probably 25,000,Oo of stars; with longe
exposures probably 1900. 600, 600 coult
be photographed. It is an achievement
the thought Of which fills us with awe
and wonder Yet it serves to remind
us Of our insight icance when we re-
member that ere our Instruments
placed upon some distant star our
earth would not even cure as one of
these 1000, 600, 900 points of light that
tell US something Of the wonders q The
heavens. ss
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
ANY DOG IN a PINCH.
How an Express Messenger Replaced q
Lost Charge.

How an Express Messenger Replaced
Lost Charge.
A handsome spaniel, which bore the
marks of choice breeding, was tucked
away among the mass of express mat
ter in an American Express Company'e
car which was attached to Central
Hudson train few mornings ago, says
the Rochester Democrat. The dog was
on his way from Toronto to New York.
and was intended as a present to gen.
tleman in the metropolis. a silver col
lar encircled his neck. The dog was s.
bright. intelligent fellow and had beer
made a general pet by the express mes"
sengers along the line. !
When the train reached this city the
messenger in charge Of the car united
the spaniel to allow him to eat his
breakfast. Several Of the station en-
ployes were admiring the dog as he was
devouring piece of steak from the
restaurant, when suddenly the animal
bounded over a pile Of packages out
through the open door, and was gone
before the surprised messenger could
realize what had happened.
The dog was properly billed, and Wis
ions of an immediate discharge from
service fitted through the messengers
brain should he fail to hand over the
dog in New York. A search was use
less, as the train was to leave within
five minutes, and the spaniel was rev
cling in liberty among the plebeian
ours in the street.
Suddenly an inspiration struck the
messenger, and running out to the hack
stand in front of the station he looked
quickly up and down the street. A for
lorn-looking cur, with his tail between
his legs, was in the act of purloining a
meal from an adjacent garbage barrel
He gave quick yelp ais the messenger
grabbed him up, and two minutes later
was crouching in a corner of the ex-
press car with the company's tag
adjoining his NANCY hide.
The outcome of the story is still un-
known, but it is likely that the New
York man considers himself the
victim of a practical joke on the part
of his Toronto friend.
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
African Palm Juice.

A new cure for hydrophobi is said to
have been discovered in an extract from
an African palm. The juice, after suit
able preparation, is injected under the
patients skin and it's immediate effect
is to cause a moderate fever. The fever
soon subsidies and on from the fifth to
the seventh day the cure is complete.
It is stated that of sixty seven cases
treated in this way sixty -fve recovered,
the other two dying of weakness The
remedy is claimed to be equally efhca.
cious in the case of snakebite.
The Irish standard., 1891-11-28
Dogs In England.

The point to which English dog
breeding has reached is Illustrated by
the opening few days ago of a new
sanitarium near London under the di-
rection of Dr.. Sewell, the queens vet
Urinary surgeon. Here are separate
wards for each dog disease, surgical
operation-room, dissecting room. bath
room, kitchen and separate exercising
grounds for each div ision Of the iilsttiit tn.
ton. .sF s5
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16

CHICAGO. Aug. Is, 1891. Wheat opened
with continuation of yesterdays VIII
scenes. The bull fever at the close yer
terday was still on. and new fuel was adj
ded TO 1t by the phenomenally st1ong
Cables London cargoes for prompt
shipment, according to the Board OF Trade
cable. were up one shilling and Liver.
pool ana pence Those who sold around
the top yesterday thinking the culmina-
tion had been reached, threw up THEFT
hands and rushed into the pit to cover II
at any terms, stop loss orders from New
York and st. Louis shorts came pouring
In, and altogether there was u wild
scene, and all sorts of prices were bid and
accepted in different parts of the pit at
the same time.
Within two minutes after the bell
tapped, all the way between 101 5-S and
102 7-8. with some trades possibly at 103,
was paid. That was tine top for the time.
however. A flood of country selling or
ders then began TO come in. This caused
d break to 1919; there WAS q rally 10 102.
another break TO 1915 and an advance to
10218 at ten o'clock.
AT abont 1918 another bull wave swept
over the wheat pit, and amid indescrib-
able scenes of excitement the price was
put up ny halves.and quarters to 1854 with
in three minutes. Frantic bidders strug-
gled over ench other, offering induce
fnents to holders; but the latter were
stubborn, and at the top there was ntti G
for sale. When the wants of shorts were
satisfied there was quick reaction to
1031l, and at haif-past ten the price was
104 l-6. . At ten minutes past eleven Y.
m. December wheat was LOS aud Sep
TENDER corn "a At eleven a. IN. it was
said that some sules OF December wheat
were name at 100. Then the price dropped
to 107]x, at which price the market closed.
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16
WHO CAN TELL?

Why political rings are never set with
brilliants ?
Why money should be wasted in build
ing bridges over Mill creek so long as
mosquitoes can fiy2
And why it wouldn't be cheaper to fill
in the elongated cesspooi and SO abate
permanently what has become an un-
miticated nuisances
What difference the shortage in the
rye crop makes while the Intelligent bar
keeper can always extract wheat, rye
and bourbon from one bother
How the circulation affidavit fiend can
ever he overcome without violating the
political rule not to go behind the .'re-
turns ~
II the man who cant go abroad is salts
fed to go along
How Martin Ward manages to keep
that horse of his together without
straps ?
Whether the O'Neills will stay out as
long as the McLaughlins did ?
How Ras Lewis would look in a Faun-
tleroy suit?
Whether, If Wales were to 60 to rat
bait, he would back dog or baccarati
How green goods" could be sold If
there were no greener men to buy them
What truth there is in the report that
policemen of the sneak thief infested
districts of the Heights throw clubs at
folks who sing, ''Will the robbin' come
againf"
What Judge Aldrid9e means by send
ing around postal cards asserting his
right to lock men up at his own sweet
will after higher court has convicted
and fined him for it?
Or whether his legal nibs ever really
means anything2
How man feels when political gull
lotine works and the edge of the knife
touches the back OF his necks
And whether the Street and Water
Commissioners propose to make head
cheese of the heads they have cut off?
Or will they put them on pixies to make
faces at and brighten the Financierss
How much Collector O'Nein really lost
when he gave s40O for Strong Mack-ere1:
Whether some folks in this town could
possibly know all they think they do,
and Liver
How the City Hall Commission can do
business without Fred Kissams
When his place is to be flledS
Who is to get It?
Why Bannou's place was raided and
Mike o. Mara's not disturbed?
Why the ladies at Ocean Grove gave
John Boyd a cap?
How many save money on yacation2
Where Jim Cannon gets the toothpicks
he taxes to Snake Hill every Tuesday,
II Real 'tsts Agent Days head is as
bald as Pedagogne Paddock's2
Who pulled their hair ont?
On whose necks the axe win fall when
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16

everyone is complaining. Some lay
it all to the pollution Of the river.
some say it is due to the condition OF
the pipes. Perhaps it is both. So
far as the river is to blame, we are
helpless. The law seems to be inn
potent to protect us against the I'M
scrupulous course OF our sister
cities up stream in emptying their
sewage into it. But so far as the
pipes are concerned, our Street and
Water Board ought to be able to give
us relief. 1t is simply matter of
blowing off the pipes with regularity
and frequency. The process is both
inexpensive and easy, and If city en-
ployes were made to work instead of
loaf it might be efficiently done with
out the expend iture of an extra penny.
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16
ALL In THEIR GLORY.
The 0'Neills Enthusiastic over the
Great Excursion Tomorrow.

Such a scene as the O'Neills' head
quarters have presented during the
past week! Up to Friday night nearly
eight hundred white Fedora hats
with black bands had been taken
from the boxes which encased them,
and with badges, bcutonnieres and
neckties handed over to the holders
of tickets for tomorrow's outing. Hat
ter e. 0. Lawrence was given an adj
ditional order for four dozen more
hats.
Tomorrow mornings parade will be
a spectacle, and Fourth of July won't
be in it tomorrow night as to illumin-
alton when the Association returns
from Donnelly's Grove. Many houses
will be illuminated in honor OF the
event.
The sixty lfeutenants held meet
ing Friday night to complete ar
rangements for the starting and re-
turning parades. Marshal George B.
Fielder will present medal to the
best drilled section, and there's going
to be some tall efforts made by the
sixty sections to capture that medal.
So, really, some fine drilling may be
expected. In the natty uniforms. with
band of fifty pieces marching
ahead, the O'Neills will make one Of
the greatest displays they ever made.
The measurements of the heads OF
the various members who ordered hats
has been subject of much merTiment
and started great many discussions.
Mr.. Ben Holzer. Halter Lawrence's
right hand man, who measured most
of the heads, has been besieged by
many questions and called upon to
settle disputes innumerable. From
Mr.. Hickman THE SUNDAY MORNING
News reporter gained the fol-
lowing data, with much reluctance
upon the part of Mr. Holman
Dave Meyer stands near the head oi
the list for big heads. He wears Z SO,
and Simon Meyer, 1-8. Mr. E. O.
Lawrence, the manufacturer of the
hats, wears G 10, possibly as matter
of economy in material. Oscar Kreiq
imagined that he had the biggest head
in the association, calling for No
| Z 3-9 hat. until John Cordts, who has
one of tine biggest heads in Jersey
| City, came forward for hat with q
| No. 1874 tag stuck inside. Sheriff
| McPhiflips wears 71-8; Ex-Sherifl
Davis, 6 rs; President Soners of the
Street and Water Board, 71-4: George
| 0dTTlsOus LII JOuility Dell, mo. 4
Fire superintendent John Brown, No
| Z IL; Al DATE (who was in training
under Oscar Kreig at Rockaway Beact
/ for that 100-yard dash that fell
through. No. g 7-S. Saloon Keeper
Andrew Manning OF Snake Hill found
No. 3-s too small, and had to order /
new one.
In addition to all the local political
celebrities who will attend the outing
many prominent politicians from dill
ferent sections of the State have writ
ten Secretary Heller they will be
! present.
J N. Donnelly, proprietor Of Don
nelIy's Grove, visited the 0'NeiIls
headquarters few days ago. He ha
made great preparations for the out
ing.
! The entries for the various event,
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16
A WHITE ELEPHANT.
1t Belongs to the Palma Club
What the Clubmen Are Doing.

The Federal Club held meeting
Friday night which was we'll attended
concerning the season.
Several committees were appointed
The entertainment committee organ
lied immediately and announced q
stag entertainment TO be given early
in September. They say they intend
to provide treat which will prove a
novelty TO the members
The bowling committee OF the
Palma Club has sort of white ele-
plant on its hands in the $50 which
the bowling team won in the Associa-
ton League. The members hardly
know what to do with it. 1t is not
for want OF suggestions, however.
And now the j. G. A. @. has banjo
club, and right good one it has, too
IL has fifteen mem bers, and last
Wednesday, when they met with a
piano and q couple of artistic clap
pers, people outside thought that q
first class minstrel show was in
progress. There is no truth in the
story that Alderman Dusenbery
plays his instrument with his feet.
The Palma Club held its regular
monthly meeting Friday evening.
Nothing beyond the usual routine
business was transacted. Several res
ignations were accepted and Messrs.
Charles HI. Webb and Charles Eikins
were admitted to membership.
The Federal Club cleared about
5000 on the excursion it gave last
month. There is strong desire on
the part of some of the members to
to have another excursion before the
season closes.
No, "a Fair Admirer,n the Sunday
morning edition of THE JERSEY CITY
NEWS does not intend to add the
Gratis to its Os' and Macs columns.
The William Il. Grafton Association
has not reached the dignity of the
O'Neills and the McLaughlins; be-
sides, it's In another class alto
gether.
Things are not as quiet around the
Carteret Club House these days as
people imagine Alderman Salinger
is a frequent visisor there, and when
he brings his fire ordinance with him
things are pretty lively There is
some talk of hanging Max's new
crayon of himself on the walls of the
reception room.
Ed Sehermerhorn is a great admirer
of the Poland Water Fred Wolbert
has placed in the clubhouse. Ed says
that il all water was like that he
would become a first class Pro-
hibitionist.
Will Doubleday of the ]. G. A. G.
has returned to the city and Eldo-
RADIO. 1t is said that everybody in
the section of the county where he
has been is just crazy to come to
Kellyville and see the great show.
There is mourning in the tents Of
Superintendent Hopkins OF the
Palma Club. Some miscreant stole
his cat rugged yacht in which he used
to skim over the Liberty lit waters of
the Bav.
The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-16
------
That Awful Water.

The condition OF the water in this
city at present is enough to drive a
man to drink-not to drink it, but any
other fluid thatwill queneh thirst and
be free from its soul-sicksning odor.
Bad as the Passaic supply has al
ways been. it has never been so grossly,
outrageously, abominably offensive as
now. The taste OF the water is
nauseating. and its smell is so hor-
ribie that it takes an effort
even to wash in 1t. II is peculiar,
penetrating, acrid odor-- the vilest
and most unsanitary that ever was
snielt on water offered for human use.
Boiling does no good. 1t may make
the water more wholesome by killing
disease germs in it; but it makes it
more unpleasant to the senses. for it
brings out the foul taste and smell in
all their viruIency. Several times Of
late, besides, the water has been brown
with mud 1t is constantly filed with
stray fragments Of decaying vegeta-
ton.
There seems to be difference Of
opinion as to the cause OF the
present horrible condition or which