Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-04-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

n Ody y-iaDOrer- Inc sun.
Never apart-The whole.
A bear -trap-Rising stocks.
Generally speaking, woman is seldom
silent.
An elevator is sort of hand me down
affair.-St. Joseph Neps.
The copyright law means no right to
copy.-Pittsburgh Press.
1t always annoys a man to find new
acquaintance as vain as he is himself.
A good motto for the poaching sealers
would Become early and avoid the
Crush. PUCK.
To landsman it would seem that
cutter should be at home in chopping
sea.-Boston Courier.
"This is terrible weight of gill;"
moaned the little picture with the big
frame. Washington Post.
He was SO very ugly, this
Extraordinary mat,
That when in battle he faced DEATH
Death turned away and ran.
-NeW York Herald.
In old times strong arm was neces-
sary to the dictator; but just now he
finds short hand far more Important
Puck.
Maud-"Has Clara really travelled so
extensively" Ethel-"No, but she has
read the guide books carefully. y."-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
During the winter the len may be
dilatory, but she generally comes to the
scratch when the garden is planted
Tsras Siftings.
To keep a resolution, base it firmly on
good and sufficient grounds, and do not
forget either the preamble or the resolu-
tion.-Teras SVtinqs.
''Do you think those shoes are worth
mendinga" "Vell, yas, if zole and
heel tenn, and put new uppers on tenn.
The strings are still goot. Life.
Professor of History-"Wha do you
know, about Louis XIV.'s time2" Jack
Athlstsls-"Nothing, sir; Inever knew
he W. sprinter. y HarUard Lampoon.
I'd rather boast no family
And rise to mighty things,
That claim to be descended
From a long line of kings.
-Munseys Weekly.
An agricultural editor says that the
best article he ever saw on milk was
cream. Some city people think that it
was not very widely copied.
Courier.
He-.tHow did you know was at the
door2 l didn't pull the bell." She
(admiring the circlet he has just placed
upon her finger)-''I heard the engage
ment ring. "-New York Herald
Mr.. Brezey-"Just on your account,
madam, I've been hiding my light under
a bushel for years" Mrs. Brezey-"O.
dear! Extravagant as everl Why didn't
you buy pint cupa"-Nem York Herald.
.'Dear Widow Brown, my love is truer
Your smoking, sir, against you pleads"
s11l give up smoking, dear, for you"
Then I'll give up my weeds"
'sBut this girl Egbert is engaged to-
isn't she giddya She seemed to me
rather thoughtless creature" Thought
less |" answered Egberts mother. "She
is absolutely thinkless. "--Ladsanapolis
Journal
''Intelligence has just reached me-"
began Mr.. Biodger, as ne sat down TO
the dinner table. ssThauk heaven if it
has, at last" exclaimed Mrs Blodger,
and the food was partaken of in silence.
-Lo,oeH Citizen.
$50 you wait railroad position"
mused the Superintendent. ''Do you
think you could give an intelligent
account of an accidenta" "Yes, sir, I'm
sure could" "Then think we have
no place for you. ."--Etmira Gazette.
In the Restaurant am sorry, Mr..
Scnoferl, to have to ask you not to como
to this restaurant any more, but you are
so continually shaking your head that it
might give rise to misapprehensions as
to the quality of the dishes. know, of
course, that you are reading the political
news, but the other guests don't know
it. -"-Flegendo Blaetter.