The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-05-09
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.
The baseball craze is in the air.
The pitcher has the floor,
And the Italian affair
Is spoken OF 10 more. N. Y. Press


First Egg-What are you going to do for a
living? Second Egg-l expect 10 become a
spring chicken. And you? First Egg-I
am going on the stage-New Orleans lines
Democrat.
From Business Standp oint: Weniman-
How is 1t you detest Bullion and yet say
you delight in his company? May Cutting
Because he is paying $50, 600 a year in In
diPidual dlYidends.-N I. Telegram.
s.
Twas a Dark Secret-"What, my angel"
excIaims the young husband, bursting into
the kitchen, doing the cooking yourself?
What is it?" Why, Edgar, how foolish Of
you! How in the world can you expect me
to tell until l see what it turns out?'-Flie-
gende BlaetteT.
Obeying the Rules: Aunt Furby lin city
hoteD-Why, you haint a-goin' to lock me in,
81, are you? Uncle Si-DunnO how I'm 60
in TO help it. I've got 70 go out for an hour.
an thar'S the rule: Guests must leave
their keys with the clerk on going out.
Puck
Met Them Too Easily-"Wereutyo able
to meet your notes 2" asked business man
Of an unsuccessful associate. "Meet them!
Why, couldn't turn corner without en-
countering several. w ashington Post
Tommy-What does Colonel stand for,
papa? Mr.. Bj0nes-Any gentleman south
OF the Ohio.-Haryard Lampoon.
Teacher-Tommy, can you give me SEN
tence in which but IS conJunctOn2 Tom
my-See the goat butt the boy. Butt is a
conjunction and connects the boy with the
goat.-BrOoklyn Eagle.
daughter. do you? Young G0tnx Yes,
sir. Old Gotrox-Well l don't know any
thing about you; can you give me good ref
erences? Young Go.nix-Ihe best in the
world. GOtrOx-WhOP GotniX-Your daugh-
ter.-Boston Courier.
Assistant-There's gent out there wants
ter buy that brindle pup. W0tH i charge
him? Dealer-I told you to get rid Of that
pup for 81, or whatever he'd bring. Assist
ant-Tbis gent is stuck on him, an =
Dealer-Oh, is he? Then tell him he can't
have that pup for less than S15-Yankee
Blade.
Inappropriate: Sharpson grinding out,
verses 81 want suitable rhyme for
chains" PhatZ-What's the matter with
"brains?" S.-Can't use it. Pm writing
poem entitled The Cigarette Smoker
Chicago Tribune,
Time to Pay.-"You'u have to pay half
fare for that boy, madam" said conductor.
He is certainly over five years old" In
deed he isn'tI replied the passenger Il
have taken that boy free tor six years, I'd
have you understand, and l don't intend to
begin paying fare for him now."-Epoch.
Head Of the Firm-Mr. Perambulator,
what is the meaning If this item, funeral
expenses, S24," in your expense account?
Travelling Man-Tnat was the cost of bury
ing my sorrow when l learned that Thin,
Skin Il Co. had day before gwen a heavy
Older to one Of our npetitOrS.-JeWe
Weekly.
What did that new suit Of yours cost %
1.-TWO hundred dollars" Jerusalem, man.
How did that happen?" EASY enough. |
paid SIS for the silt originally, and ii looked
so well that my wife wouldn't let me rest
until l had put up 1925 more for an outfit
for her to match it. Buy cheap clothes. old
fellow. Buy cheap clothes. Washington
Star.
Chappie-Pye had you in my mind all
day, old fellow Cynieus-I felt cramped,
but couldn't imagine what the cause was.
IN. 7. Continent.
Agernon Spoons (who has poetic aspira-
tions)-Alas! this sordid world Shall /
never know a sympathetic soul? Can l
never touch a responsive chord? His
Mother distinctly practicaD-Well, there
are about fourteen cords cut In the wood
shed that would probably respond ii you
should touch them right with an ax.-Bos-
I'm N