River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-09-10
plrA GND PoiNr.


-Caller-"Has your mistress zone
out9" New servant@''N6, but she
ain't AT home Epoch.
Proud Father (reading his sons
school report Manners vulgar ei-f
vulgar. But perhaps this is heredi-
,ary. Punch.
Now, Willie" said the Boston
boys new governess, 'let me hear you
spell participants" "P-a-r-ti-ci-- /
say, miss, oughtn't you to say PARTED
trowsers,
She waved her UNI brella and caught
his eye" said Hawkins. Ibid it put the
eye out?" asked Smither@. whe hid seen
women waving umbrellas before. =
Hampers Bazar
Mr.. WiclSwire - "Now, this new
nickel steal -" Mrs Wickwire-
That's when you drop it into the slot
and the machine won't work, | sup
pose. indianapolis journal.
TELL me not ia mournful numbers
Life IS but an empty dream,
When tits fun of green cucumbers
And OF restaurant ice cream.
Detroit Pree Press.
liz . 81 kithN tstAIAs 4 dHNlttt "
said one young woman to another Gle
must have inherited his money! he's
hardly old enough to have made IL. I"
"Aloney! ., l referred to his attain
ments in the way of baseball. Wash
ington Star
To get acquainted with peoples OBJ
iectionable idiosyncracies you must
travel with them. OF course, there is
no danger of their getting acquainted
with yonr Objectionable idiosyncracies
while travelling with you.-Somervillo
journal.
Ills Only Kind.-"No wonder Won
don't catch any fish, using bait like
that" and the friend pointed to the half
empty flask. Haven't you got any
other" "No otherP" mo; you see the
early birds got all the worms '-Phila-
delphia Times
No Lottery About Wife-.Do
you really think that marriage is a lot
tery?" liusband-"No, | do not. I"
Wife somewhat surprised why
don't you?" Because when
a fellow has drawn blank he can't go
and purchase another chance"
An ill-paid minister went to his
deacon and asked for an increase of sal
airy. Salary" said the deacon; 81
thought you worked for souls" $50
do, said the minister, "but ] can not
eat souls, and if could it would take
good many of your size TO make a
dish. IN. Y. Herald.
In the "Whirled" Office Assistant
What was the trouble that led you
to discharge Spacer?" Editor-''Insub-
ordination, kicked on his assignment. ;
Assistant-"What did you detail him to
do?' Editor-"Marry some one, and
write four columns on: is Marriage "a
Failure?' Iowa Topics
-Cholly-"Ah. Chappie, just in from
Tonka. Summer is the time to read
the book of Naychah, don't you know Z"
Chappie-"Naw it isn't" Cholly-
'.Nhy not, deah fellah?" Chappie (who
belongs TO the sons of rest)-'Autumn
is, because then nature turns the leaves
for you. Minneapolis Journal
Bad News -Charlie-''You look
blue. old man What's the matter?"
Gus-"Bad news, dear boy. about my
rich grandfather" Charlie That's too
bad The old gentleman is sick, | sup
pose?" Gus-'No, confound him! The
old rascal is healthier than ever. and
likely to live twenty years J et."-Sat-
ur,lay Evening Herald.
Music on the Home Stretch
Goodness gracious" yelled the mana
ger meeting the leader of the orchestra
coming up, there was a terrible mess
of il half way in the last act" "And
didn't | manage it nicely ?" said the
leader. II caught up SO that even you
must have noticed / wasn't more than
three bars behind when the curtain
fell. "-Fliegende Bl9tter.