Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-07-16
PiTH. AND POINT.

Assignment is the moral an@sthet-
ic that relieves man from payin'.-
Washington Post.
old Man - Nothing is valuable
nowaday that can't be exchanged for
cash" Young Man-"How about repu-
tation for Observation-Disclosures Star.
Sarcasm Actress-"Oh, dear!
I've broken my earring. What shall l
do?" The Manager-''Send for gia-
zier.'-Jeweler's Weekly.
-Truthful.-He-"Y are the only
girl who can make me happy" She
(couuettishly) "Sure?" He-"Yes, L
have tried all the others. Yankee
Blade.
discovered.
i know her not as deceiver,
MY soul never felt a doubt
TIL one night called to see her;
Twas then that found her out
-Philadelphia Times.
The Lieutenant (pointing to the
canyon): If you don't accept me to-
morrow I shall be down at the bottom
of that canyon. The Colonefs daugh-
ter: What dead? The Lieutenant:
No-fishing.
DO you think" said Ruthers' wife,
shat there ought to be so much formal
ity about calling?" 'Naw." said Ruth
ers earnestly. "If you're with the
right people, all you've got to do is to
shove in your chips. "-Washington
Post
-Trapped-Angry Customer-'Look
here, have only had this suit week
| and there's a button off," Tailor
eyes, sir; / sewed that button myself,
and now would like to call attention
to your account. "-Clothier and Fur
nisher.
Are you superstitious?" asked
bystander of a slowly-rising young ira
gedian. "a little" said the actor, sad
| ly. 81 have learned from experience
that to have just thirteen people in the
audience inevitably means bad luck. -
Somervile Journal.
The More Reason For Refusing
| Customer-ssI'd like about six months
| time on these diamonds. Times mon
ev.' YOU know" Jeweler-"Certainly
but don't expect the goods and lot of
money for the price of the goods alone,
do YOU ?"-Jeweler's Weekly.
| A New York gentleman was put out
of patience by some blunder of his new
groom. Look here!'' he cried, 81
won't have things done in this way.
Do you think I'm a fool?" ''Shure,
sorr," said the groom, ''Oi can't say,
sorr. only came here yesterday"
-Tommy's Waterbury.-Mrs. Figg-
ssTommy, bring me in an armful of
wood" TOMMY will, just as soon
as can saw some" Mrs. Figg-"Why
I thought heard you saving not five
minutes ago" Tommy-"No'm; 1 was
winding my watch" - Demorests
Monthly.
Those Truthful Girls.-Jessie-
GLOW old did you say you were, Josie?''
Josie Jagged twenty three. )-"Eigh-
teen" Jessie "a little later. )-"What
are you thinking about, Josie?" Josie
(absently.)-"I was trying to recall
how felt on the eve of my twenty
first birthday. "-Yankee Blade.
Client Tin lawyers office)-'I desire
to speak with the principal" Clerk
.sTend to you directly, sir-just take a
chair for a minute" Client (haughtily)
do you know whom you are address
ing, sir? am Lord Taltamount." Clerk
"a thousand pardons my lord. Take
two chairs, beg of you. Pick Me Up
Miss Ortum-''Papa, you know, gave
me a large cake on my birthday, and
studded it with gold dollars-one fol
each birthday of my life" Miss Quiz
How nice! And have you spent then
all yet?" Miss Ortum-"Yes. / bought
this new cloak with them" Miss Quiz
-sOh, isn't it just lovely! But you must
have paid big price for it9"-Harper's
| RaZar