The Opelousas courier., 1891-04-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
In times of financial panic, even words
fail.
! Did they write Hog Latin with a pig
pena
A domestic tyrant-General House
work.
A reliable trade mark-Hardened
hands.
APPLY named-The CORNERSTONE Of
the Stock Exchange.-P~ck.
"Jay Gould is a very silent man."
eyes, but then, you know, his money
talks"
"An' phwy d. yees cahl ger stove m
Injun range, Patti" s'Faix, beca'se it's
a good hater. Puck.
Why are colts like rich mems sousa
Because they won't work until they are
broke.-Pitts6mrg Dispatch.
Never jrdge an insurance company by
the quality OF the blotting paper it gives
uNul.-1FcW 4WR SottbHOtet'
Let who will make the country's laws,
Yea, cen her ballads, grave or funny;
Here most of US would serve her cause,
Content in helping make her money.
You can't tell how valuasle a girls
affections are until you are sued for
blighting q set of them.-Aartha's Kne-
ndrd Herald.
student-.Did Stanley dicover the
African Pygmies, do you gather!" Pro-
fessor di Gamma-"Yes; he and He-
rodotus. Puck.
A boss of street lsborers is looking
around for that "fne Italian hand that
he has read about, and offers to make
him a foreman.-Puck.
slangy Artist ould-Be-"I see by
your smile that you're stuck on my joke"
Editor---ssYes, Iwould be if accepted it.
Good day."-NeU York World.
s'Where are you going, my pretty maidY'
'sTm going to catch me a man. she said
Cast me your bait, my pretty maid
'I'm fishing. sir, for a man. she said.
-Mew York Sun. :
Grin-"see a dog fght2" BART
"No; the dogs only stood off and yelped
at each other Grin-.tAh, a bark
mill, as you might say."-Bafab Eg-
press.
Good. Professor TO one of his pupils
-"When Alexander wa as old as you,
he had already conquered the world
s.But you said he had Aristotle for his
teacher 71Hiegsade Blaetter.
Cumso-sThey say Brown has a very
poor memory for faces" Banks-s'And
he has. Why, the other day he looked
into the mirror and asked his wife whose
reflection it was he saw."-Bmy Bee.
The head and the heart in the game of love-
sMust pay its separate part;
we'll pardon a girl a cold in the head
So longs she's not cold in the he ri.
philadelphia Times.
Know that by my boot straps now
I can not lifted be;
But once a little red-topped pair,
Which first in boyhood1 did wear,
Much elevated mel
Puck.
"Don't you ever 90 to see ~comediess"
inquired Miss Laura. "No," said Miss
Irene. daughter produces wrinkles"
And Miss Irene went ON reading the
Editors Drawer in Ho,psrs.-Wt
sago Tribune.
81 am quite pleased with my son-in-
law said old Mrs. Pickaflaw. my IN
fluence over him is great. Ever since |
have been at his house he has staid down
town OF work until 10 and IL o'clock at
night. " --New York Herald.
Wife-sYon don't AelI me that Pro-
lessor A. has been strdSk dunba' Hus-
band-"Yes, last night. And 10 WIS
Of seven languages Wife-sIs
it possible. And was he struck dumb in
all seven2'- Texas syytingse
ChollF--st.Heah about Chappiea Sup
posed to be dead, you know, but came to
life in his coffin. Queeah, yewy queeah."
Doliy--4sAw, not SO vewy queeah. They
had put the deah boy into an American
made, shwoud, don't you KNOW
journal.
An unfortunate man has obtained
access to rich Baron Rapineau. He de-
picts his misfortunes, his misery, In so
a manner that the Baron. with
in his eyes and his voice clicked
with sobs, calls to his servant: stJeani
Put this poor fellow out into the street,
He Is breaking my hearti'---Paris Figaro.