Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-09-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Dear little things Puck.
Because you feel good is no reason you
are.-Pittsburg Post.
You can buy fine kt diamond for
$500, if you have the $500.
The deed of an incendiary is correctly
referred to as 'burning shame. At
lanta Journal.
The deaf mute should express himself
in musical language; he uses a hand or
gan of speech.
Always hope for the best. You will
never get it, so there will be no excuse
for abandoning hope.-Puck.
Though make hay while the sun shines"
Is proverb neglected,
MAKE love while the moon shines
Is forever respected
Washington Post.
Girls should bear in mind that haul
ing young men over the Goals does not
tend to make them pop.-Detro1 Free
Press.
Handsome is as handsome does. A
ive-ccnt fan will give as good breeze
as one all gold and fethors.-BoSt0n
Transcript.
Wien a man wears an air of resigna-
ton, he may be suspected of being a
bank officer about to visit Canada
Iecds Syttnqs.
Capital and labor could get on well
enough together if there were not so
many men trying to get capital without
labor Teas Sittings.
He loved her, but her scornful laugh
Embitters now his lot
He tried to take her photograph
And showed her what he got.
-Washington Post
When we come to reflect how hard it
is to keep down the natural instincts,
isn't it lucky thing there are no Indian
hair-cutters OF BARRIERS? PHILADELPHIA
Times.
''It is very strange" said the amateur
gardener; 81 planted radishes there, and
nothing but lot of green stalks have
come up, with not radish or sign of a
blossom on 'em. Puck.
Dashaway-'I hear that you upset
some soup on Miss Palisades dress at the
dinner last night" Stuffer-"Y and
l was fearfully put out about it. You
know it isn't polite to ask for soup
twice. - Cloak Recieac.
Gentlemen-"But I'm afraid he
wouldn't make good watch dog"
Man with Pup-"Why, bless yer art,
it was only las week that this ere very
animal held burglar down by the
throat and beat his brains out with his
tail. ."-Broohlyn Life.
"You couldn't guess my age, now,
could you9" said Miss Passiegh to Billy
Bliven. "No," was the reply, 81 am
sure l could not" ~ have seen just
twenty-five years" 81 say, Billy" NUT
tered Dick Sniggens, at his elbow, ''ask
her how many years she was blind."-
Washington Post.
81 say" said Gus De Jay, as he lai1
the paper across his knees, ''this article
says that flood of intelligence is going
to sweep the country" "Well, deah
boy, don't let it worry you," replied
Willie Washington. "You're not likely
70 be any hood-sufferer, you know
Washington Post.
lioW uiu your TeVlNdt oNCr AT ApdCUe
Gulch pan out2" "Well," answered the
Arizona evangelist, sit wasn't exactly
success. At the third meeting l hap
pened to say that l believed Apache
Gulch was the wickedest place of its size
on earth. After that my words fell fiat.
It was the first time the town had been
rated as tirst-class in anything, and they
didn't care to lose the distinction. "-M-
dianapolss Journal.
A little girl who is Just learning to
read short words, takes great interest in
the big letters she sees in newspapers.
The other evening", after she had kept
her mamma busy reading the advertise.
ments in the newspapers to her, she kne!t
down to say her prayers. "Lord" she
lisped, ''make me pure!" Then she hesi-
tated and went on. with fervor, mo-
ment latter, "NIake me absolutely pure,
like baking powder!" !"- Christian Regis-
Er.