The record-union., 1891-01-11
Ignorance is Very Often the Cause
of Rudeness.
MISS PALFREY CRITICISES SOME
NEW YORK CUSTOMS.
Discourtesies of Women to Each Other
About Father Ignatius-At Phot-
ographers-A Rebuke to Statesmen
Second Hands on Watches.


know not, writes Miss Palfrey. And. not
being an Anglonaniac, I am not fanatic
Rlly fond of everything English. But this
notwithstanding custom regarding men l
commend from the depths of my heart.
Men, being naturally Bohemian in their
tendencies, have general feeling of COM
radeship for all men, but women arc
snubbed from prehistoric times down.
that is, most of them are-and if not
properly introduced to each other Will sit
and stare like dolls. If they would but
have the good wit TO talk without waiting
for introductions, what trouble they
would save their hOSteSSes, for during an
afternoon Of short calls il is impossible
that Il woman can Introduce half Il dozen
persons to each other, pour tea and carry
on any kind of conversation. Introduc-
tons add to her duties, increase the for
mality Of what she wishes to be an infor-
mai afternoon tea. and destroy its har-
mony. All this has, apparently, been
carefully considered, and the result is the
fashion of not introducing men to each
other. They are introduced to the women,
and the women to each other, and this is
quite enough.
am often struck with the extraordi-
nary lack of courtesy between women,
and my attention has recently been
drawn to a very remarkable case. A
friend of mine, very charming woman,
and one who is of ariStocratic birth and
great cultivation of mind and manners.
is always extremely courteous 70 every
one, and is very particular about card
etiquette and returning calls. Some
months ago there came to the apartment
house where she is living, and took rooms
on the same floor, a nliddle-aged woman
of ladylike appearances. Knowing moth
ing. OF this person, and, therefore, not
caring to know her particularly, but
meeting her constantly in the hall, my
friend thought it would be only courteous
to cali upon her, and did SO. 1t happened
that the lady was out, so my friend did
not meet her, and the call has not yet
been returned, although nearly two
months have elapsed. In the meantime
they continue to pass each other in the
narrow hall several times daily, ard to
sit close to each other going up and down
in the elevator, but no word is spoken,
and no sign Of recognition of a courtesy
is given. 1t so happens that they have
. many mutual friends who call to see them
on the same day, and before the winter is
over they will meet, probably, in more
than one drawing-room.
OF course, not returning a first call is a
great lack of courtesy, and where the two
ladies live in the same house it seems ulI-
pard enable, for want of time cannot be
offered in excuse. And this woman who
has committed the breach probably thinks
she knows all the rules and etiquette of
society from A to Y. If she knows better,
she Is rude, but l am inclined to think
she does not know better. | really be-
ieve that more than half the discourte-
sizes women show each other are due to
lgnorance-to lack of knowledge of the
world rather than desire to be rude.
lsyrp- in, aarf,,ro l,f,, ,1.,1
waiting for the elevator the other day,
guest in the house stood near me and I
made some casual remark to her about
elevators, but she showed no sign of hav-
ing heard, and know she is not deaf.
Perhaps she thought her silence digni-
fled, swell, the proper thing. thought
1t stupidity and ignorance.
There is always a courteous way of
avoiding an intimacy, but it requires
tact The majority of persons take hints
quickly, and dissimilarity of interests
helps to keep people apart. Two things
OF which 81 woman of tact may make use
without giving oflense. The busy life of
great city is, also, excuse enough for de-
clining invitations and for not running
in often"
l dropped in at the Cooper Union the
other day to hear Father Ignatius, and
two well-dreSSed women volunteered the
information as ! opened the door at the
main entrance that would not be able to
get near the door of the room where he
was preaching. One of them said that
she had heard him once and wanted to
hear him again.
told her knew man who is report
Ing all the services for morning paper,
and she said:
How splendidr
After some further conversation, sug-
gested that she should go to the next
meeting as a reporter, and then she would
be sure to get in and get seat. She went
away without thanking me, but / am
sure she was grateful.
l did not hear Father Icnatius that day.
AS went solely out of curiosity, and not
from desire to be spiritually benefited,
suppose | am rightly punished.
Although Bishop Potter has given his
consent to Father Ignatius; to preach in
the churches here, but few of them have
been offered to him, and the majority of
his services have been he'd in the small
hall in the Cooper UnioTl, which is alto
gether too small to hold the crowds that
flock TO hear him. Evid emily the Protes-
tant Episcopal Church OF America is not
very much IN sympathy with his monk :
lsh garb and perpetual vows. There
seems to be q certain amount of posing
about the man and his methods, but
doubtless he suits severe souls. And if
the amount of good does is to be meas
ured by the number of perosns who go
to hear him, certain ly ne and his methods
are to be commend ed.
l went through the agony of having a
photograph taken the other day, and was
very much amuse d Mt some of the women
VINO were there for the same purpose. 1t
is at the photog rapher's that a woman's
vanity may be zen in all it's strength and
glory, Tor there is where she goes to have
ffar oft :.
self, and if the counterfeit is mike her
by reason OF its being far handsomer. lust
so much more Is she pleased.
a young woman, with blof,de hair.
prettily dressed, came to me and asked
me if had any powder. / answered no.
mentaily rejoicing that IL was The truth,
1or with powder she would want a powder
puff. She travelled about the room. and
pretty soon l saw her powderine- her face
most elaborately before the glass. She
had never been there before, she said. and
she did not think much of their eoilet arti-
cles., And she picked up comb and
combed her hair vigorously. She found
hand mirror, which had not been able
to do, and some hairpins, and used them
generously. / told her her hair looked
lovely, and she was delighted It really
did look pretty. | wanted to tell her that
nothing would induce me to use combs,
brushes, powder puffs or hairpi,ns that
g.ioi pefSoHS ustu uSSu, Out Tetralneu.
Ihe ultra fastldious are not the appiest
in the world. She wanted good likeness;
another woman there wanted an artistic
pose, regardless of the likeness. I hope
they may get what they want.
A great deal has been said about the
pertness of the shop-girls, or. the sales
ladies, as 1 believe they peter to be
called, but no one has yet said anything
about the salesgentlemen- They need
quite as much repremandimg, it seems tc
me, as do the salesladies. I went to a
leading drygoods house the other day tc
buy some ribbon, but the, Young man be-