The morning call., 1891-01-31
ROBBED IN CHICAGO.
A Denver, Colo, Mans Expert.
ence in the Windy City.

Haven't got much time to talk" said
Colonel John Arkius, the managing editor
and principal owner of the Rocky Mountain
News, of Denver. Il am just down from
Chicago to see if / can find some merchan-
disc 1 am after, and find a place where
tradespeople have time to wait upon their
customers. Why that Windy City is tue
meanest town ever saw in my lifer' aud
with deep sigh and an elongated yawn the
curly-haired Colonel from the Rockies
rolled back into the soft and seductive
cushion OF one Of the SOuthern's big arm
chairs.
About twenty miles ont of Chicago no.
ticed that about everything was run by the
slot method. Instead of a Niger to brush
off the travel stains, you simply dropped a
nickel in the slot and q machine rubbed
you down after the manner of treatment
given the winner of the st. Louis Derby
There was no newsbOy, but here the slot
machine combination was an Improvement.
You simply dropped your nickel in the proper
compartment and got anything you wanted,
from paper to prize package. /
must admit that the brush slot machine was
cheaper than the African style, but it didn't
get in around the rim of your hat, nor into
the intcrstices of the small of your back
The thing looked honest enough, but there
lurked about it an air as if it was only
'capper' to draw the unsuspecting sucke: on.
l only took one brush-off, although the job
was not half done, but concluded would
have to pose in no less than 100 positions in
order to have the Macy thing reach all the
Spots and even for all | knew, il might com
mence to buck and brush my silk tile the
wrong way.
Il heaved sigh of relief when / reached
the Union Depot. Fer some unaccountable
reason there was no slot machine to get out
Of the depot gates, but no sooner through
the iron bals than guess / ran against no
less than 100 styles of slot machines. All
the employees about the depot are too busy
to answer any questions propounded by
travellers. If you want any information Won
pay for it. L had TO drop a nickel in the
slot to find out what time it was, and then
when | wanted to know what time
the Lake Shore train was due, had to drop
a nickel in the slot to make the window
raise in order to ask the ticket-seler few
questions, but here | was half dime out, as
the window raised Just high enough to ex
pose placard which read: No time to an
swer questions; 20 to the Bureau Of In
formation
81 went there.
~ found another placard which stated
that all information about trains, delays
etc, would be answered by the bulletin to
the left.
81 went to the bulletin.
There 1t was againl Drop a nickel in
the slot for information regarding trains
Well, wanted to know few things about
OhlSdBu DtHIuos Il6 hOTll fair, so L
luctantly dropped another nickel. The
slot-curtain rolled NJ like the front of a
patent desk, and there were the timetables
all nicely arranged, and blackboard on
which was the statement that all trains
were on time / got more for my money
with that last nickel than any vet spent for
L ielt sure that l would soon meet my
brother. But it was ali delusion aud a
snare. The gate-tender was approached and
for nickel | learned that the train | ex-
pected my brother on was four hours late.
and, perhaps, would not be in at all. i
needn't tell the Stars Sayings what | said
when learned this, but felt all did say
from the bottom of my heart
=" 1t only cost me nickel more to get out
OF the depot, and you can bank your dust
that felt a relief, as my stock Of nickels
was beginning to show signs of waning, |
only brought along one days sales Of my
paper.
!" l went into the stores to get my socks.
and the business is done in the same way,
and by the same methods.
-" left the money and the city, and now
I'm here. and you have heard my story. I
want to say right here that l have been held
up In the Rocky Mountains several times,
and have been beaten out of money in many
ways, but the highwayman is gentleman
compared to the average Chicago schemer:
their daring, their gall, in fact their slot !
methods are unparaled In the history of
cities. st. Louis Star Sayings.