Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-04-01
FUN.

hhc lang udSt VI lDe ueAI mute goes
without saying.-Boston Post
An electric spark-makiug love BY
telegraph.-Wsshington Capitol.
Backus is the patron divinity Of
race-horses.-Merchant Traveller.
The blacksmith YIELDS iron with seal
ing Observation-Disclosures Capitol.
The shoe dealer will do work which
is beneath other people. -Yonkers
Statesman.
The note of the prima donna is ne
gouable only when indorsed by the
pubic.-Life.
Every fat man has theory on how
to dispose Of the surplus.-Nsw Or
leans Picayune.
There is music in the air when the
bill comes in for an accordion skirt
New York Morning Journal.
In spite of their proverbial slowness,
telegraph messengers go about with a
good deal Of dispatch.-Boston Post.
Truth is mighty, but she is ignomin
lousy worsted when she encounters
fishing Observation-Disclosures Traveller.
The bad small boy, when his mother
calls, Is like the echo. He answers,
but he dosn't oome.-Somerville Jour
nal.
"What distinguished air that little
man has. He's almost a dwarf, too"
eyes, he has a compressed cir ~
Time.
The destruction of the peach crop
has commenced again; and this time it
is real ruin.-Pittsburg Courier Tel
egraph.
1t Is little singular, to say the least,
that after man has been painting the
town red he usually feels blue.-Bos-
ton Courier.
The prohibitionists are out cunning
for those prophets who promised a
dry summer. Thus far every state
nas gone "wet. Puck.
When q man affirms that "there's
lots Of money In leather" don't dis
pute him-purses are made Of leather
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
A Enthusiastically, think you
are dreadfully extravagant to buy all
those things" But, my dear Rufus,
/ had them charged. Life.
A pocketbook rnade of rattle.nake
nide, which i, so repulsive to ladies
that they won't touch it, is having
qsite sale among married men,
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Old Lady" 1 hope, my boy, you
don't sell newspapers Sunday?" Small
newsboy (sadly)-" No, mum. 1 amt
big enough to carry Sunday edition
yet."-Harper's Bazar.
"Wen, Mr.. Assessor, what are you
going to make out of your boy?" "I
think he will do for q policeman, be-
cause 1 can never find him when 1
want him. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
There are two great needs of our
present Civilizations flannel shirt that
will not shrink and a white vest that
can be washed without losing its re-
spectability. American.
The doctors are doing their best to
convince the public that Ice water is
dangerous. Perhaps It is, but then, so
are whiskey, and toy pistols, and ma
oiiAA iSbS ~ W dh4
ington Critic.
The average girl is not afraid of
danger, and the reports of exploding
soda water fountains and poisonous
ice cream do not interrupt the delight
full placidity Of her sppetits.-Bald-
more American.
Enter Seedy, with manuscript
Good morning, sir. Want any jokes?
Ny forte Is the absurd and ridiculous.
Got q place for anything like that?
Editor-Certainly. Take q seat-Phil-
adelphia Press.
INVENTOR" would like to get YOU
interested in my improved fy-paper.n
Capitalist" What makes you think it
will be successful" INVENTOR" BE
cause It's cotton up in imitation Of a
bald head. Life.
In St. Louis hospital man recent.
ly had dream which covered six
months time and 10000 miles OF
travel. There is great deal of sight.
seeing embraced in a drink of S:
Louis whiskey.-Chicago Herald.
wife-"I'll take the $50 you gave
me and buy my bonnet this morning,