The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-11-26
AS YOU LIKE 1T.
New the Doctor DiagnOsed o Case and
the Result.

the Result.
"A doctor and a surgeon may be
the same person." remarked the phil
osophical trainer, oracularly but
they seldom are. II you whine-as
the dogs do when their feet hurt after
hunt-or II you limp or complain, a
doctor guesses what is the matter with
you. Then he guesses what will cure
you. II both guesses are right you
are in luck. and he Is skillfuI doctor.
In nine cases out of ten he is giving
you something harmless. while he Is
taking O second and third look at you
Cat your expense of course) TO guess
over after himself"
His medical pessimism and his surg
ical optimism amused and entertained
me, says o writer in Harper's Maya
zine and | encouraged him to go on.
Now with q surgeon it is different
Surgery Is an exact science. Before
took this position | was a surgeons
assistant in hospital. In some places
we are called trained nurses. In our
place we wero called surgeons assist
ants. That's why l make such dis
t1nction between doctors and surgeons.
I've seen the two work side by side 30
long. I've seen some OF the funniest
mistakes made, and I've seen mistakes
that were not funny. I've seen post
norton examinations that would
have made a surgeon ashamed
that he had ever been born,
looked upon by the doctor who
treated the case as not at all strange;
didn't stagger him bit in his own
opinion of himself aud his scientific
knowledge next time | remember
one case 1t was a Japanese boy. He
was as solid as little OK, but he told
DR.. C that he'd besn taking a
homeopathic prescription for cold
That was enough for DR.. c. A
red rag in the van OF bovine animal
is nothing to the word HON epathio'
to DR.. c.. Hydropathy gives him
fits and electiclsm almost lays him
out. Not long ago he sat on a jury
which sent man to prison who had
failed IN case OF mind cure That
gave deep delight to his regular soul.
Well Dr. c. questioned the little
Jap, who could not speak good Eng
lish. and had the national inclination
to agree with whatever you say. Ever
been to Japan? No? Well, they are
droll lot. Always strive to agree
with all you say or suggest.
did you ever spit bloodp asked
Dr. c. by-and-by. after he could
find nothing else wrong except the lit
tie cold for which the Homeopathic
physician was treating the boy.
Once, replied that youthful vic
tim.
AHA! we are getting at the root
Of this matter now said DR.. G..
Now tell me truly. Be careful! Did
you spit much blood?'
Yes, sir; a good deal.
The doctor shifted. He always
knew that a homeopathic humbug
could not diagnose a case, and would
be likely to get just about as near the
facts as light cold would come to tu-
berculosis.
How long did this last?' he inquir-
ed OF the smiling boy.
IL think-it seem to me-
ga half hour?' queried the doctor;
twenty minutes:9
III think so. Yes sir. About half
an hour-twenty minutes, responded
the obliging youth.
Il heard that talk. Common-sense
told me the boys lungs were all right;
but it was none of my business, and
80 watched him treated. of and on.
for lung trouble for over a month be-
fore got a chance to ask him any
questions. Then I asked, incident
ally:
What made you spit that blood
that time. Chip
i didn't know I ought to swallow
him" he replied, wild-eyea and anx-
ious. Dentist pull tooth. He say to
me. Spit blood here" do like he
tell me. Your doctor say ver' bad for
lungs. spit blood. Next time l swal-
low him.
Il helped another practitioner, in
good and regular standing, to examine
mans heart He found pretty bad
wheeze in the left side. had to nurse
that man. He had been on bat, and
all on earth that allied him was that
spree. but he got treated for heart
trouble. 1t scared the man almost to
death.
I'D learned how a heart should
sound. 30 one day tried his. He was
in bed then, and it sounded all right,
so when the doctor came in. took
him aside and told him that I didn't
want to interfere, but that man was
scared about to death over his heart
and it seemed to me 1t was all right
sounded like other hearts-and his
Pulse was all right too. The doctor
was mad as March hare though he
had told me to make two or three
tests, and keep the record for him
against the time of his next visit:
Well, to make long story short, the
final discovery was-Lhe man don't
know it yet and he is going around in
dread of dropping off at any minute
with heart failure-that at the first
examination the man had removed
only his coat and vest, and his new
suspender on his starched shirt had
made the squeak. That is q cold fact
and the man paid over eighty dollars
for the treatment he had for his
heart"