Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-01-15
WIT AND HUMOR.

mean mau a skin Ne,c Orleans PtcG
g0ae.
The faster man runs in debt The
less he is apt to sc, ahead. Eimro
Eaaette.
There's wide difference between a
sell-made man and Il snmmer-maid
man. = 'tashington STR.
Motto of the campaign orators: 1--WE
push the button, the people do the
rest. Nianeapoiis Journals
No complaint is made about short
measure when We have a peck OF
trouble. - PHtstafy Dispatch.
The decline of literature The print
ed blank that accompanies rejected
manuscript. 81. Joseph Neos
We may shut our eyes to u painful
truth; but we don't shut our ears-ii
its about somebody else. Pick.
After u soldier has had two or three
months OF warfare it must do him good
10 eat q little peace meal = BiRJhamto,
Eefub!ican
there's one thing about self-made
men; if they go to the bad they can't
fall back on the old gag about origina
sin---!St Joseph NelrS.
More rejected manuscript" ex
claimed the young man, disconsolately
when his love letters were returned t.
him.-llashington Post.
Yale has adopted new rules and a
new game of football. This may re.
qnire new professors in the college,. =
-1ew orleans fieayune.
Il am accused Of possessing talent, >
said conceited man. If YOU are
ever tried you'll be acquitted,'' replied
one who knew him.-1eras 'sittiags.
Jay-"Well, by Joye, Jones, how
are You? How You have changedvH
Stranger-'But my name isn't Jones. y
Jay-"What, your name changed.
too?"- Wasp.
why did you yell Hay at the horse
carr "ln the hope that the horses
would hear HE and stop. The driver
Wouldn't pay any attention to me" y
Haapsr's BasW.
Cumso-"Brown is using fish diet
to benefit his brain.n Banks-"Weu:
Judging from the present condition OF
his intellect it must be weaktish he is
living on. "-Figaro.
Customer Aiy watch which Won
repaired for Inc some time ago has
stopped" ,'eweler-"Ah my collector
INFORMS hue that the bill is still run
ming ~. Y. Herald.
Sniggins (angrily) -"Do You know
that your chickens come over in nv
yard3" Snooks-"I supposed tha,
they did, for they never come back
again. N Y. Herald.
De Mascus-'I hear poor White is
lylng at the point of DEATH" st. Age
dore Lying, eh? Well, well; the
ruling passion strong in death, you
know."-St, Joseph News.
Aren't you ever overcome by some
nndetined longings, Mr.. Snapleyp"
"A m! No. have much more
trouble with very clearly -detined short
nesses. "-Ha1per's Bazar,
Old Mr.. Close Hello, doctor! o.
ny the way, what ought to take for a
Dad coldp" Physician (who knows
Closel You ought to take medical
advice. '-Munsey's Week1y.
An Irishman declares that it was not
until he first partook of the dish called
hash that he realized the force of the
expression, Everything comes to him
who atcs."- Washington Post.
Wickwire-'I hear you have sworn
off, AIudge-'Yep. 1t was begin
ming to affect my mind Every time
got little full wanted to discuss the
tariff. . Indianapolis Journal.
AlcCorkle-'' rhey say that Shopper
finds it difficult to keep his head above
water" McCrackle- THAT does not
surprise me at all. He is a native of
Kentucky. "-Drahe's Maoazine.
The Man Had the Call.
A man with market basket on his
arm was slowly toiling up the incline
of the Brooklyn Bridge the other day,
when his attention was attracted to q
boy on the roof Of building about
two hundred feet away. AS soon as
the man stopped the boy began i'm
itating his walk, which was rendered
nngraceful by a lame leg. Owing to
the confusion it was impossible to hear
what each said. but the man with the
basket seemed to exclaim:
If only had my hands on You I'd
make you sing different time in about
minuter'
And the boy seemed to- reply:
Come, now, old chap but don't
get husky over bit of fun"
The man on the bridge was taken
with sudden fit Of coughing The
boy followed suit. The man shook
his fist in the direction Of the bridge.
Then the man seemed to be saying:
"Ah, You Young wretch, YOU are
treading the path to tile gallowsr'
The boy gestured with his right
hand in imitation, and seemed to reply:
If | was rs crusty as you are I'd
have been hung long ago"
Then he put his thumb on his nose
and twirled his fingers in spirited
manner and it looked as if he would
come out a winner Indeed, the man
had started on when he suddenly stop
ped. sat down his basket, and after
feeling for half minute, he brought
out a hens egg. 1t vas large, solid
looking specimen of what an American
hen can do, and the man spit On the
palm of his hand. The boy initiated
him. Then the man drew back his
right arm. The boy also initiated that |
maneuvcr. With Il raise on his toes
and suppressed "ha!" the man let fly, |
and three or four seconds later the egg
struck the boy on that part of tho
anatomy ynlgarly referred to as the |
dread basket" He doubled up and (
then wentto grass, and as the man
lifted his basket and passed on nobody |
nor nothing had any remarks to make.