Telegram-herald., 1891-09-03
coRwIN, THE ORATOR.
How He Retired . Man 70 Pr1vots
Life by . Humorous Speech
a cosxDassm2n whs Csm stssa 80 Q~nk-
kxAas - . s1.S-szAsa WITH fhsss of
Professional aarst-C~xk
fssfDrnsx-

. fSSkSssk1st4t 53rsI-40xk
Ps<fsrms<-
m talking Of Tom corwin Ia the Gin
e1nnasi cousrnessisl-4sazes.s Geosvs SCI I
wyn says THAI had the 9reaa sAlker /
never risen - the lofsiess heights Of or I
ssosy. and thss had listening s@pates I
- bis heels." Tom CorsTin would have I
- dimes discounted any end man that |
ever handled the bones The very sight |
u corwtn In action On the ssurnp pro
vossd in<xtinguishshls laughter when
tho grest osaAor chose 70 touch the
Humorous Sale Of any subject In poll
tics and On hasstnss be Wa simply irrs-
sistibic-
Hon lsaac z. Crazy. msmbsS from
Michigan. ands Sook 70 riaieuls William
Henry harvssan' and tia battle of Tippe-
canoe. fought IN 1871. and Gen. Crazy.
rather "pompiously,' - the negroes
cay. described himsalf a. militia
4entlsnan On . pea~ establishment"
This speech 81 craxy's Wa delivered In
xpsil i3s0 and corwin rose 10 reply
His speech was sntirely extemporsns-
Qua Ne said:
I'VE all In fancy now zee the gentle
man from Michigan In that most dan
Sercus and glorious event in the kfs of
: militia general on the peace essabish-
menu psads day. ths day for which
all she othsr days Of HIS life seem 10
have bssn made. We can SEQ the troops
In motion, umbrellas hoe and AZ
handles. and other like deadly irnple-
msnts Of war. ovcrshsdowing all the
heid. whsn iol the leader ct the host
approaohsA
rSs on his esnsng xAinsss
Hia plume white. after the faahiou OF
thu great Bomhar. y Of ample length
and made Ms doleful history In the be-
reaved neck and bosoms Of neighboring
hen-roosts-
Like ths great Suwarrow he seems
somewhat careless in forms and points
Of dress. hence his epaulettes may be on
his shoulder. back. or side. but still
cleaning. gloriouAly cleaning In ths
sun Mounted he 10. 700. Lee Il not be
forgotten
NEED describe TO the colonies and
generals OF this honorable house the
steed which heroes bestride on such oc-
lcssionsf No. I see the memory Of
other days Is with you You see before
you the gentleman from Michigan
mounted ON his crop-eared. bushy-tailed
marc. tho singular obliquities Of whose
hinder limbs An described by that most
expressive phrase: sickle hams'-her
height just fourteen hands, all told
Yes. sir! Then you see his 'steed that
laughs at the shaking of the spezr;' that
Is hh war horss whose neck h clothed
with thunder
Mr.. Speaker, We have glowing de-
scriptious In history OF Alexander the
Great and his horse. Bucsphalas, 1t the
heed of The invincible Macedonian pha-
1anx, but CIR. such are the improve
ments Of modern times that every ono
must see that our militia general. with
his crop-eared mare with bushy tail and
sickle ham, would literally frighten
on the battlefield hundred Alsxan-
dcn BuA sir. TO the history Of tie
parade dag.
Tho general. thus mounted and
equipped. Is In the field rea6y for &C
ton. On tho eve Of some desperate
enterprise. such a. giving tho order 70
shouldss arms b may be, there occurs .
crisis, one q the accidents of war which
no sagaotey could foressc 70 prevent A
cloud rises and passes over the sun.
Here an occasion occurs for Q display Of
that greatest of oil traits in the char
acter Of q commander, that tact which
enables him TO seize upon and turn 70
good account events unlocked for a.
they srisc. Now for the caution wt~se-
with the Roman Fabius foilcd the sail
and courage o< Hannibal
"A retreat Is ordered and troops and
general In twinkling are found safely
bivouacked in q neighboring grocery.
But even here the general still has
room for the exhibition of heroic deeds.
Hot from the field and ohafed with the
inflow ard events Of the day, your gen
eral unsheaths his trcnchant blade,
eighteen innhes n length. - you viii
remember and with an energy and re
rnorscless fury he slices the watcrmel.
ons that lie in heaps around him and
shares thefn with his surveying friends
Other sinews OF war are not wanting
hero. Whisky. Mr.. Speaker, that grea,
levvlcr of modern times, is here also,
and the shells Of the watermelons are
filed 20 the orim. Here again, Mr..
Speaker, n shown how the extremes Of
barbarisrn and civilization meet As
the Scandinavian heroes Of old. after
The fatigues OF battle, drank wine from
sAe skulls q their slaughtered enemies
in Odin's halls. so now our militia gen.
erai and his forces from the skulls OF
melons thus vsnquishcd in copious
draughts of whisky assuagc the heroic
FIRE of t.isiy souls after the bloody
scenes Of parade day.
But alas for this short-lived rncs OF
curS All things win have en- end. and
% sven IS IL with the glorious achieve.
ments Of our militia general Time Il
on Me wing and will not stay his fight
The sun. as il frightened At The many
events Of the day, rides down The slxJ
and az shc close Of the dAy when ham
let h STILL the curtain Of The niQhl
drops upon the scene.
And glory like the Phnni1 In II,
hrss exhsles it, odor. biases. AID sx
pirsA"