davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Summer Oufcrs.


N Asktdge Woman-.'How am I to
&Aest|hich IS poison ivy and which
isn't2'
Average Man-"By looking at IL, of
Il course. How else would you know?
One has three leaves and the other
five. Every man of sense knows that,
and don't see why women shouldn't"
Eyes, I know, my dear, but which
kind is the poison kind?"
..Why, you goosey, the three-leaf,
of course, or the fve-leaf, I forget
which,"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Fond Of His LOIglngS.

"You haven't paid your lodgings
now for two months, Mr.. Shoe" re-
marked the landlady, ''and l give you
notice to quit Immediately"
"Now look here, Mrs. Rheunep, I
didn't want to leave you. Suppose
you take back the notice and raise the
rent on me?"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Iron steamboats, Running.

Coney island is important in the list
of places to go to, and every season the
Iron Steamboat Company begin work
with every preparation for the business
which the boats are required to do.
When the full timetable Is in force
and the boats are also running to Long
Branch, there is no idle time with
any one, and the scenes at West
Twenty-third street, North river,
and Pier No. 1, North river, are
characteristic of good manage
ment and satisfied public. The SER
vice which begins on Decoration Day is
continued with regularity and prompt
ness. The people who travel will find
boats hourly from 8 a. IN. until 6 p. m,
from West Twenty-third street, half
an hour later from Pier No. L, and re-
turn from the Island hourly from 1o:40
a. m. until p. m.
To accommodate the Sunday travel
an extra trip is on the schedule to-day,
the time being extended till o'clock.
The last boat leaves the Iron Pier at
$40 p. m, and this Is convenient for
for those who wish to enjoy the stay
at the beach until an early hour in the
evening. The excursion fare is so
cents, and the direct all-water route
has been and is popular.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
No Reduction.

Mr. Bookkeeper-I have now been,
90 Nylkpufte, in your employ exactly
NtttAy hrs. l have worked indristri-
1AMsf and have taken lively interest
n my work. My salary now is
Mr.. Duste-IIave no fear, Mr.. Book
Keeper, IL you continue in the same
path, your salary will not be reduced.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

He-"You were in Europe last win
ter, believe. A severe season in the
north, wasn't it?"
She (Chicagoensis)-"Yes, indeed"
He-"There was a great rush OF
Americans to Rome, understand"
She-''Yes; but pa says they'll never
get up boom there"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

Jinks--"Have read Rudyard Kip
ling's last novel?"
winks--''N-o, I seldom read novels"
Jinks-rThen you do not care for
works Of imagination?''
Winks-"Oh, / dunno. / always
read the European correspondence OF
the daily papers"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

Disgruntled Yellerby-Yo's deceived
me, sab! When doomed yo' for Alder
man, sab, yo' promised me dc white
washin' oh de Town Hall. Remembah,
sab, dat honesty am de best policy.
Alderman Blackie (loftily)-H Hun! Am
yo' crazy? Use statesman now, sab;
and yo' mus know dat in diplomatic
circles policy am alwus de bes' honesty
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Satisfactory Explanation.

American Heiress-''All is over be-
tween us, sir. heard General Knowall
say you were no count"
Count DollarseelS-''Ah,b but you hat
made meestabe. General Knowall not
say I'm no count, he cay l was no ac-
count"
American Heiress-" Oh! am
yn,,,.. " t
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
A Man OF Nerve.

A broad striped coat n dotted vest
Checked trousers, IA red tie.
A stOve-pipe hat. n colored shirt,
A collar very high,
pair OF patent-lcathcr shoes,
oh. picturesque display!
i thought IL was "A dummy.
TIL IL slowly walked away.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

Mrs. Oswald-"Well, for heavens
sake. how can you go out with a little
child like that in such cold weather."
Mrs. foungman-''Why not-what
does the child know about the
weather."
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
BADLY Needed.

Mr.. Hedaik lin auction-room) And
haven't you really got silent partner?
Auctioneer-No;w why?
Mr.. Hedaik.-Because thought you
made noise enough for two!
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
IncreasIng Difficulties.

"Say; you recollect that borrowed
five dollars from you last week?"
eyes"
We'll, collect it from Trotter, please.
lent it to him yesterday"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

American Citizen-Welcome to free
America.
Immigrant Gust Ianded) -Please
show me where can buy some knives
and pistols.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
A Union or Tyrants.

Mrs. Youngwife-o John! have
such terrible news.
Hubby-What is 1t, dear?
Mrs. Youngwife.-Ou cook is going
to marry the janitor. Whatever will
become of us?
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Worth Trying.

Mabel.-Do you suppose George Poor
would be base enough to marry me for
my money?
Madge.-Well, you might flash a copy
of Bradstreet's on him some day.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Left Hin, Out.

"Amerwica faw Amerwicans!"
Young Algy cried of late.
''Ah!" said his friend; land when do
you intend to emigrate?"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Efficient.

She-"What do you do when you
want to kill timer"
He-"I get one of the conservatory
pupils to play Wagner for me-
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
FancIed Security.

When there's thing that we have done
We wish not to have noised about
It's sure to be so by the one
That had no way OF finding out.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Almost = Hint.

Bunker ut (1l:3O p. m.)-"I can't say
! like Spatts altogether. He goes by
fits and starts"
Miss Blanche with little yawn)--
well, wouldn't mind man going
by fits If he did but start finally"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
To n Sean,per.
Hold lln

He'd half-do every thing he tried--
Twas really very sad, too.
Completeness he could not abide
And finished nausht save when he died.
And then, Egad! he had to-
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
1I,cr tI,c Honeymoon.

Young Married Man-"What would
q eyp pgpy dear, II were one of those
WIN MN are in bad humor when they
\ ~ lib III the morning and use bad Ian
gna6e because the breakfast is cold?"
Young Wife, would make it hot
for you"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
The ssSpotter.,, BnIked.

81 hear Jack Grizzly distinguished
himself in his final examinations at
college"
Eyes; his straightforward was truly
marvellous"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
A characterization.

Our darling should bear Katharine's nam
Decided We: but, such Is fate.
Twins came to us. and thus we had
The one we'd named and--dupli-katc.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
MY! MY! Oh. Wy!

There was ~ Young fellow from Lansing,
Whose trousers were something enhancing
He went In a shop,
With "A sweet little hop.
And asked them to show him some pan tsing
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Thc FnIr Conn,nunicnnt.

He-'Do you go to communion at DIR.
Dainty's church?''
She, with pardonable pride-''Oh, yes,
I've communicated there for number
of years"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
what f. needed

The George Francis Train needs onl.
brake and vestibule to. make 1t
wonder.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
BITS OF WIT AND HUMOR.
LATEST INVENTIONS OF THE
FUNNY WRITER'S.

DeFsre ana After Klectien In Coonville
Some Very wiley ThinEs I'm Verse
/ ana Prose-A Question Of Damages
Current Jokes and Jesss.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
The Correct Way.

Brown-"How do you spell 'hor.
ribly?'"
Jones--"I don't"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Fricndship.

II once the tide OF friendships broken
Though mended at the self-same spot
We may perhaps nc'er see tho splice,
You can't but tell the knot
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
The Rome OF Buddhism.

Lassa, or HASA, the Holy City of
the orthodox Buddhists, is situated in
n barren highland valley of Northern
Tibet, at an elevation of $500 feet
above sea level, but is nevertheless the
wealthiest town of Central Asia. The
numerous converts are crammed with
the pious contributions of some sixty
generations of true believers,
and the Buddhist Vatican,
the Dalai-lama's palace, on
Mount Botala, is known to be filed
with gold enough to create financial
panic if it should all be melted and
thrown into circulation in the form of
coin. Those treasures arc now guarded
by strong Chinese garrison, but sixty
years ago their safety was entrusted to
the sacred awe inspired by the presence
of the Supreme Pontiff, and the surviv-
ors of the Nicaragua raid missed the
chance of q lifetime when they failed
to recoup their fortunes by an expedi-
ton to Tibet.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

The man, who was tired Of having
everyone his debtor.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
Atn ChIcngo Pnrty.

Mr.. Bumpus, of Peoria-"Shall I
have the honor of accompanying you
home, &sstiam?'
MrsHHhfyer--"I might be embar-
RAISING when left home my divorce
decree hadn't been signed and my hus-
band might ask you your intentions"
Lawyer Bestpoint-Your honor,
ask for verdict of no cause for action.
The plaintiffs COW didn't get off the
track when the engineer rung his bell.
KeyoSk QSchmitzer from Podunk)--
NaiSler FER honor, did the engine get
of TIL trAsk when the cow rung her
bell
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18

From Chicago Milwaukee and Return Only $3.50!
going noh and the night service coming outh ~ ny
Es n @ % HIsT1 .sJ ps Lake sna
m
SATURDAY, an %
6und excl +
JOHN SINGLETON Gen. Az
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-07-18
y a 4 ID 4 III E1----
GOODRICH t " STEAMERS
DURING THE Nor WEAIHER.

And when you are making up your route for sum.
mcr trips, please bear In mind that this steamshIp
line offers some Of the most delightful and inex-
reaches all the principal places OF on Lake
Michigan and Green Bay. 1t is tho best and
cheapest way to reach the Magnetic Mineral
Springs OF Spring Lake Mich, aid Grand Haven.
The beautiful resort at Lake Harbor, Mich. the
hshing and camping grounds of Northern Wis
connn ana Michigan, on be shores Of Lake
Eecanaba, Gladstone MAMMA. Fayelte Manis-
tlque, etc Our route via Grand Haven To Ira
verse City. Petoskcy. Mackinac Island, Mt Glenn
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
A COSTLY POSTALCARD.


IT MAY BE WORTH 5000 TO THE MAN
WHO RECEIVED IT.
A Fort Gaines special say: If the
threats that have been made are carried
into execution, one of our barkeepers is
likely to have business in the courts
SOON The cause of the complaint is as
follows:
A party whose name is withheld was in
debted to the barkeeper for whisky. and
as the residence of the debtor is some
distance from Fort Gaines, and there be-
ing no bank or collection office near, the
account was forwarded to the postmas-
ter for collection and postal card was
addressed to the debtor informing him
OF the fact. 1t so happened the worthy
postmaster was the father of the debtor
and by his advice no doubt the following
letter was written:
Shiloh, Ga, June 1.-Mr. E. w. XII
'lngsw"rtl, Fort Gaines, Ga. Sir: Yours
OF 9th to hand. think can learn
you something about dunning man ON
Il postal card The postal cot from
You is worth s.. 600 to me. You say Won
nave drawn on me, so | will push the
postal to the front. Yours,
The results are awaited with much in
tercst
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
Afraid of the Results,

Upon returning to Kansas from the
Cincinnati convention, the leaders of the
third party movement issued a circular,
which was sent to the sub-alliances
throughout the State, requesting them
to give an expression of their opinion of
the work done by the convention.
About fifty sub-alliances have been heard
from, and here is a sample of their re-
plies:
Whereas, The South was not repre-
scented in the Cincinnati convention; and
whereas, we believe a third party viii
disrupt the Republican party to the ben
eft of the Democratic party therefore,
be it
Resolved That we abandon the third
party to return to our past utilization.
Ills kinder throws damper upon the
third party politicians, and it begins to
look like the nest will be broken up be
fore the egg is fairly Matched.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
When tie Earth Vas YounQ.

When the earth was young, says DR..
Ball, Astronomer Royal for Ireland it
went around SO fast that the day was on
ly three hours long. The earth was liq-
uid then, and as it spun around and
around at that fearful speed, and as the
sun caused ever increasing tides upon its
surface, it at last burst in two. The
smaller part became the moon, which
has been going around the earth ever
since at an increasing distance, The in
tuence of the moon now rises tides on
the earth, and while there was any liq-
uid to operate on in the moon, the earth
returned the compliment. st. Louis Re-
public.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
The Queen PawHed Her Jewels.

Queen Isabella, of Spain, pawned her
jewels to raise money to fit out the expe-
dition that discovered the new world.
Her sacrifice was not greater than is made
by many women of America, who deny
themselves many things in order to have
money to buy DIR. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery for their sick husbands or
children. The Discovery is more i'm
portant to them than the one made in
1892. For all diseases of the Lungs,
Liver, Throat or Stomach, the "Discov-
cry" is sovereign remedy. A trial con
yinces, its continued use cures. 1t puri-
fies the blood, inyigorates the liver and
strengthens and builds up the whole sys-
TEN. Guaranteed to cure and benefit in
every case, or money paid for it return
ed
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
HE MARRIAGEABLE AGE.
How Ii is Regarded in Different COM.
tries of the World.

There is great diversity in all parts
OF the globe IN regard to the legal mar
riageable age.
At the age of 10, or even years, girls
are allowed to marry IN Arabia. British
India, Persia, Siam and Burmah. and in
many instances the males are not much
their seniors. A Bavarian female may
marry between the ages of Il and Is. Int
the male from IA to Is years old. The
SaXo-CobWg-Gotha girls may wed at the
age of IA, but the manageable AGE for
men is q years.
In Austria bride and groom must have
reached the age of IA years, but the par
entS consent is absolutely necessary.
Danish males and females must ha 40
Spectively 20 and 16 before marriage is
allowed. With the French the minimum
age for the former is IS, and II for the
latter.
In Finland an imperial decree must be
obtained if couple desire to marry he
fore the man has reached the age of y
and the woman Is. An exception is
made in the case of peasants who have a
regular trade or business. These can
wed If the groom is Is and the bride IA
Russia has law making IS and 16 the
legal ages The natives of the Caucasus
males being the ages fixed for their ben
eft
Lapland's code is that males must be
at least II, while in Norway and Turkey
there is no fixed period for either sex.
In Hungary the male may marry at IA,
and the bride may be two years younger,
But if the father does not give his con
sent the marriage is considered nu,l and
void.
Among the Italians the usual standard
is observad, being IS for men and IS for
women.
In Spain, Portugal and Greece the
limits are IA and u.
The contonal laws in Switzerland are
such that the ages vary from IA to 20
for males and Il to IS for girls.
No female in England can marry who
has not passed her 18th year, and the
male must be at least IA. In the United
States state laws regulate marriages.
Nearly all of them require. the consent of
parents when the man is less than q
and the woman under Is.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

Prof. Ben. J. Brooks was committed
Tor assault and battery and given eight
months in the chaingang or fine of
Sooo, IN Americus the other day. The
case is peculiar one. Brooks was a
school teacher, and beat one of his pu-
plls, Hubert Renew, most unmercifullv
lie was arrested some months AGO and
gave bond, but treated the matter with
perfect indifference. The case was call
ed and his bondsmen went to his farm
where he was unmindful of the serious
charge for which he was to be tried
brooks is man of considerable proper
~ and he prefers to work out his fine
rather than draw on his bank account
which is said TO be a snug sum.
Chapter /: Weak, tired, no appetite.
chapter 2: Take Hoods Sarsaparilla
Chapter >: Strong, cheerful, hungry.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

ohe OF the elders of the second colored
BaptiStGhureh is,se'.sh.sl-,.s Ih,.,ff,;-
ing in what lie considers a sinful habit.
Meeting an aged brother the other day
with a strong smelling old clay pipe in
his mouth, he accosted him:
"Brudder Thomas, does you believe
that nothin' unclean can enter de king
dom?"
81 does, brudder."
"Den you can neber enter, for your
BRET smells worser nor a slaughter
house"
dat may be, brudder, but when
goes to hebbin | 'spects to leave my
BRET behind me-"
And the aged man passed on, peace
fully smoking, while the elder gazed at
him in a dazed way that was painful to
Gao
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

There is Indignation in Albany at the
result of the preliminary trial of Warren
Crawford, charged with the murder of
Nathan Mercer. He was turned loose and
soon after left the city with his father
for their countryhome. On all sides could
be heard such expressions as cts an
outrage" "'Fhe law is cheated" 'Burn
the court house" Clear down the jails."
DISMISS the officers of the law" ''Burn
up the law books" "What do we want
with law, anyhow" Another warrant
was sworn out and the sheriff sent with
it to make the arrest, but at last accounts
the warrant had not been served.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
THE GREAT DETECTIVE,

Detectives are great men-in their
minds.
Early Sunday morning in st. Louis a
gentleman saw some negroes filling I'D
what appeared to be a grave in a vacant
Held. At his approach they fled precip-
ltately He straightway went to police
j headquarters and reported the occur
renee, and two of the departments de-
tectives were put on the case to work it
up, As usual, these detectives at once
I scented great big murder, and they
proceeded in the usual mysterious man
ner of the detective to work it nm
.hey went out to the place and took a
! look at the spot, but, being too law to
dig out the seeming grave, they conclu-
Guided to catch the negroes first, and
then make them dig up the evidence
against themselves. In mysterious
manner and with all the pomposity of q
real estate agent conducting trade for
500 lot, they nosed around, poked
about and at last succeeded in spottino
one OF the negroes. In the usual an
proved manner of detectives, they fright
ened the confession from him that he
was one OF the negroes concerned in fill
my mp the grave, and also secured the
names of his companions in crime An.
We're locked up in one of st. Louis' sta
ton houses, and after the detectives had
unearthng crime and in spotting offend
ers, the prisoners were armed with shov-
els, and, strongly guarded, marched out
to the spot where they had buried their
yictim-or still more horrible to contem-
plate, perhaps victims, and the work of
uneaIthing was commenced, The first
shovel of dirt removed brought to view
lot of rags which appeared stained
with blood. A few feet further a hard
substance which, when struck, sounded
like a coffin, was then reached, but
which proved to be wide board. Its
removal caused terrible stencil to arise
and the police were overjoyed. Further
on a lot of broken sewer pipes was
reached, together with blocks of wood. |
Removal of this disclosed the mouth of
three-foot sewer The negroes had
stopped it up because its contents flowed
into creek near TO their house and thus
become offensive to them.
The discontinue of the shrewd detec-
tivcs was visited upon the poor negroes,
and they were marched back to prison
to be given the full extent of the law for
their trivial offense, simply because the
city's insufficient sewerage system had
induced them to take the law into their
own hands, and try to get a little pure
air and healthful atmosphere for their
wives and children. the waste of the
city's time and money by the detectives
must be made up by filming the poor,
long suffering people.
Yes, detectives are great men-in their
own minds
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

TEN counties in Georgia, devoted
mainly to agriculture, returned for
taxation last year 266,75l acres less
than there are acres in those counties,
or an average deficit per county of
1858 acres. Ten counties, whose
principal Interest is timber, returned
for taxation the same year 69l ,455
acres more than there are acres in
those counties, or an average excess
of 68, 144 acres per county. These
are strange facts. From them one
thing is manifest-Georgia pine lands
are more in demand than her best ag-
ricultural lands.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24
MhRre Is The EnnL KiIier2

A companion of George Busby,a butch
er of Jackson, Ky, proposed to pay for
all the whisky he could drink. George
got away with twenty-four drinks and
died the next morning.
John Kenney, of Elizabeth, N, j for
a wager of $40, ate iifty-one fried eggs
in nine and quarter minutes. He died
the next morning.
A woman in New York drank twenty
seven cups of tea. The funeral was
largely attended.
A man in New York drank fifteen
glasses of water. lie now lies among
the daisies.
A man smoked twenty boxes of cigar
cites in New Jersey in one day. He will
smoke birthstone hereafter.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

THE erstwhiIe bright Georgia evan
gelist, Rev. Sam Small, will DOW prob
ably be under the necessity of choos>
ing a new career. The Ogden Metho-
dist University, of which he was
President, fired him because Of an if,
regularity in his accounts, and the
Colorado Methodist Conference, Of
which he was member, has dropped
him from the roll, for the same reason,
doubtless. This would appear to
leave Samuel without any definite
calling, but he will light on his feet
somewhere.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1891-06-24

A little cumming bird is making
himself unccountable familiar at the
home of Mr.. Dick Smith, near
Thomson. Regulaly every Sunday,
when the family go to the dining
room for dinner, the bird flies into
the family room and brings up before
the family mirror, where he bows to
himself and ffutters and capers around
extensively. If not disturbed, he will
adjust his necktie, pull up his vest,
and wink at himsel and smirk and
smile like a regular dandy.