The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1891-06-12
BOTH SIDES SATISFIED.
How q Bloody Duel In Kentucky Was
Happily Averted.

How q Bloody Duel In Kentucky Was
| Happily Averted.
( The last dueling episode in the South
had a romantic and a comical feature
that quite won the hearts of the fair
sex and pacifed the austere authorities
OF the law, says the New York Record
err A bold Kentucky colonel was the
father OF lovely daughter. who loved
a nice young man, in all respects I'M
Objectionable. All the girls and ma
irons OF the country sympathized with
the lovers. and the gossips pronounced
it the happiest affair in the line of
marrying that had been heard of for a
long time.
But the colonel was an obstinate
man, with a very red countenance,
fierce, gray eyes, and nose somewhat
bottled in blue and purple from the
long habit of generous rotations of
bourbon.
The more he heard of the courtship
the more he swore that he would have
no such puppy for a son-in-law, and
the young man got into such state
that he was afraid to see his betrothed
except surreptitiously, and both were
afraid to even open the subject to the
colonel.
Happily, when the path of true love
does not run smooth, owing to the
opposition of cruel parent, the misery
of the situation heightens to delight,
and so the wretched. happy couple
went on day by day, as tens of thou
sands have done before
The stolen interview and the sur
reptitious note, the agony and fear,
and the constant suspense made the
hours glow with romance. But, anon,
the colonel was told that an elopement
was on foot. He stalked up and down
the hall muttering and growing some
thing to the effect that this was the
first time in his life he had ever been
opposed, and, by Jupiter and all the
other gods, it would be the last. Then
he sent for his friend, the major, and
the two worthless discussed whether
the presumptuous rascal should be
horse whipped, shot on sight, or po-
litely slaughtered according to the
code.
The last method was determined on
and challenge delivered to the
enemy, with an explanation of the
condescension that accorded the chiv-
alrous terms, '.as lady's honor was
concerned, sir"
But woman's quick w.t. always
sharper under the inspiration of love
and romance, suggested rising act of
the tragedy. 'Twixt smiles and tears
the maiden implored her lover to obey
her wishes, saying: "You know. dear,
how obstinate papa is. The only way
can get anything is to pretend not to
want it, and it was just so with MAN.
ma when she lived. Now do you un-
derstand?"
In the meantime the colonel and the
major prepared to make worms meat
of the poor lover.
The proposed fatal morning dawned,
the gentlemen were promptly on the
ground and the ceremonies were about
to proceed as usual, when the lovers
friend approached the bloodthirsty
colonel with great formality and said:
Colonel, my friend has done you
wrong which he proposes to repair
without the loss of his life which would
only make the matter worse for the
young lady. It is true that he declined
to marry her and"
''He declined TO-" but the mon
strosity of the thing choked the colonel
out of utterance.
eyes, and he desires to offer an
humble apology and"
''Apology!" shouted the colonel;
g. his apology. Refuse to marry
a Kentucky gentleman's daughter! By
all the Internal gods, we'll see about
that. Major, get me preacher, sir,
and q church, and all that sort of thing
mighty quick. There'll be a wedding,
sir, or a funeral in less than half
hour. Not a word, gentlemen. I
don't like puppy for a son-in-law,
but honor shall be indicated"
Of course the colonel had his way,
but if he ever finds out the hoax he
will burst blood-vessel or fall deal
of apoplexy.