The morning call., 1891-08-25
= LITTLE PERvERsIoN.

Mr.. Ambrose Fierce, who has a contract
with the Examiner by virtue of which be is
permitted 10 vary the dullness of that dreary
sheet by occupying couple of columns with
abuse of his fellow-creatureS, usually de-
votes q portion of his space to revillng the
propretors of The CALL. II is harmless
amusement, and If it gratitieS him no one
would want to deprive him of it. TherSiteS
was a welcome guest at the tents OF the
Greeks, though they got tired OF his sour
riity after while, and one of them killed
him with o blow of his fist. THE CALL
trusts that no sRch disaster will befali Mr..
Bieree. We are short OF Merry Andrews in
this community, and the calling is so thank
less that If anything happened to Bierce it
is hard to say where he could be replaced.
But he must remember that q jest ought to
be based on fact Genuine fun must rest on
a SubStructure of truth.
Last Sunday Mr.. Berce was safely de-
livered of the following:
We were discussing The CALLS characteristic
"poetry" written by "Aneeh," Lillian Plum
kelt, Di Vernon, Biz Pollocs. Grace Hibbard aud
other bright splits. One of US said that admir-
able and enlightened journal would print IN good
faith as poetry anything written In lines OF nearly
equal length. each b. ginning with capital letter.
10 test the matter each Of Us wrote four or live
lines as meaningless rs possible. no one knowing
what the others had written, excepting some OF
the final words, so as to make few rhymes.
The lines were then SO combined in poem
that no Two adjoining ones were by the same
hand. We signed fictitious name-ihat OF the
biggest fool we could think of next TO THE
CALLS regular bards-and sent the thing through
the mail TO our esteemed and tunefnl contem-
poraFy. 1t appeared Oh August 9th, and hero IL
is In all its glory!
PHRASES AND DREAMS.
Then follows lot of dOggerel. which has
no meaning whatever.
The statements of fact contained in the
above extract are all true. so far as THE
CALL knows; but there is one omission.
The poem for which Mr.. Bierce confesses
that he is in part responsible was offered
to The CALL, and did appear in its col
umns; but it was offered as an advertise
ment, at the usual rates and being unob-
iectionable, it was published at the foot of
an advertising column, with other adver-
IisementS before it, and others following in
the succeeding column. The clerk who ac-
cepted it could not understand why any one
should want to print such stuff as an adver-
tisement; but 1t was not his business to
inquire, so long as the matter was neither
indecent nor libelous, and so long as the ad-
yertiser paid his money. 1t is now evident
that the advertisers object was to furnish
Bierce with material for the extract above
given. He wanted to be able to say that
The CALL had printed doggerel even
worse than that which he himself emits
from time to time. and for this he was will
ing to pay money. He succeeded in his
little game, and we hope he feels better.
Good people everywhere would like to
see the literary taste of the Coast improved
and ii that is Mr.. Bierce's object in snarling
at every one who puts pen TO paper, his
ill-nature may be forgiven for the sake OF
his purpose. But lie may be reminded that
TennySAns and Arnolds do not burst into
life unheralded and equipped with the
genius of the bard. They must have pre-
curS0rs. \ great deal of second-elass verse
must be permitted to see the light, if we are
to have successors to Bret Harte. Joaquin
Miller and Helen Hunt Jackson. Ii every
poor poetasteT who tries his prentice hand
at rhyme is TO be sat upon, our crop of real
poetry will be small. II there had bean no
coracleS there would have been no ironclads.
1t may also be in order-though perhaps
it is hardly worth while-to remind the
class of writers to which Mr.. .Berce belongs
that the point of wit is truth. 1t is not
funny to accuse q man of doing that which
he did not do, and then to call him names
for doing So. That sort of humor recoils.
Every one hates to be fooled; the instinct
of every dupe OF false story prompts him
to get even with the deceiyer if he can. The
laugh which a glib writer provokes by set
ting afoat a joke sours as soon as it is dis
covered tia. the joke had no basis in fact.
The masters Of wit made their reputation
by adherlng 10 the truth, and by barbing
its shafts, and those only. AS for the
scatterbrain who takes the Italian motto for
his guide, and cannot find topics for satire
without drawing upon his invention, his
fancy may be bright, aud his diction grace
ful, but he will live a dreary life and will
die without a friend