The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-12-08
NYE'S RAMBLES IN OHIO,
copyright, 1891, by Edgar W. Nye.l
EN- PASSANT IN THE MERRY
MONTH OF NOVEMBER.

MONTH OF NOVEMBER.
We are in Michigan at this writing,
and scOOting across the Peninsula by
the judiciOus use of the bounding train,
Autumn has indeed come, said a sad
man yesterday, who seemed to be on
his third bridal tour, accompanied by
a kippered widow with a green veil.
She nodded when he said that, and
put her cold and pulseless nose against
the window of the car.
They had a very large two handled
compromise trunk, which the groom
used in knocking out peoples brains as
be started up wildly at every station,
thinking it was his own destination.
He said he was from N~ewriggle, O.,
where it is said that a man was killed
in a church. l did not learn what his
Offense was, but no doubt he richly
deserved his fate. Possibly he put a
pants button on the plate.
Newriggle is not far from Wingert's
Corners, where Nasty first got his idea
| of the Confedrit x Roads. It was
| there he heard a sermon over the body
of a soldier, it is claimed, which gave
him the idea which he afterwards
| carried out.
Newriggle is a strong Democratic
stronghold, and according to law must
have three members of the successful
party in the preceding election as cleo
ton judges, etc. Three Republicans
had to be imported this year into New
! riggle before the election could be held
according to law.
Newriggle reminds me, in this re
| spect, of Erin Prairies, a town in my
old State, where there was only me
Republican in eighteen years, and he
was last seen crossing the line at a fox
trot and picking large pieces Of rock
salt out Of his legs as he a
My brother spoke at Erin Prairie
once on the living issues Of the time.
He was a young man, fired with ambi
ton and willing to speak almost any
where that the committee sent him.
He had a good voice, and it was no
tick at all for him to have an entire
petit jury bathed in tears. He spoke
feelingIy always, and scalding tears
| chased one another down the furrowed
cheek of the juror who had not formed
or expressed an opinion for or against
the accused.
So my brother went out to Erin
Prairie by order Of the committee
to make a Republican speech. He
noticed when he got there that the
band was not there to meet him, but
he got some tea and inquired for the
hall, 1t was a plain hall, with a frayed
Autograph of a forgotten one night
ventrloquist hanging from the walls
and p~erchance a three sheet poster of
the Goldie-N Nc Cracken Legitimate
Hippy-to-hOp company.
He went in among the voters, but he
saw no kindly look of recognition.
Erin Prairie was always noted for it's
smoking tobacco. 1t was grown on
the place, and said to be cured by the
farmers there; but 1 always claimed
that it was not a radical cure by any
means. It was called the international
smoking tobacco, because you could
smoke it in this country and smell it
in Europe.
Ny brother went back to the end of
the hall and took out some notes he
had made which went to show that
there had been less ecab and hollow
horn among sheep and cattle since the
adoption of the war tariff, and that
pip among poultry had decreased ! of
1 per cent, since the protective tariff
had became a settled matter in this
country.
While he was writing a line or two
for an introduction, as if to refute his
argument on the spot, a typhoid hen
| egg hit the chimney of his lamp and
popped. Then suddenly it made a few
offensive remarks and became a dis
agreeable omelet on the side of the
lamp.
My brother is a calm man, with a
light blue eye and stiff upper lip on
which there is a vigorous growth of
mustache. Tossing back his mustache
and allowing the hot, malarial breath
of the egg to grapple with the fumes
Of the international smoking tobacco
of Erin Prairie, he began his speech in
clarion tones.
No and then the parent of an orphan
kitten would come whistling through
the air, and cries of "Shut upr' and
I"Go homer might have been heard