The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-07-24
BRIGHT BITS,

'BLITHERs is the worst kind of a cheat"
i can't believe that. He sold me $40, 900
house for $1s ,0C0 once"
hat Just what say. He's mean enough to
CHEAT even himself. Pittsbltr0 Dispatch.
Mrs. DE KAsH--Why do you grumble so every
time ask for pin money?
| De kash-I don't kick on any reasonable do
aIanus, oht N you want TO endow a bowling
ahey you ougnt 10 say so.-NeU York Herald
New costumes styled for beach and surr
| From thoughts inspired of oceans spray
And foam's bewitching daughter gay;
New gowns to grace the tennis turf
new men TO fiirt with every day.-Outtno
STERN FATHER at seaside hotel table to son
VINO is moving OFF for bicycle ride)-Come
BACK, sir! Is that any way to leave your eco
shensy How often have told you to smash the
Snells up, or you'd have bad luck all dav9~
| Fhuddetphid Record.
| "DoN'T you think, she said:archly to the Wis
tor behind the scenes, that most of these
Jokes ABOUT ballet girls are rather thin?''
ID, Ierihaps So ne said, much embarrassed
. nut tHsh you know its pretty thin subject TO
tackle. - Washington Post
NIFE-!ou're scoding all the time at me.
now o would you like to be that African king with
! 5000 wivess aug VII"
Husband like it to dot. He can cut all
Their heads off at a moments notice if thew
don't suit him. Washington Post
DR., PERKINS SooNovKR was called on 70 ar
tend HoStetter McGinnis, who complained of a
Pa.n !, III ms chest. THAT'S dyspepsia you've
What does that come from?"
~ dyspepsia? That comes from the Greek -
Ieras Sifttngs.
Miss BuDDMe-O, Mr.. Jagson, you looked so
SAD and unhappy while Mrs. Chumplegh was
| talking TO you. l suppose she enlisted vour
her hospital. ~
Jagson-No, worse; she was telling me the
bright sayings of her children.-Elrnird Gazette.
The OTHER DAY visitor entered the nuhlic
library, and passed some time In looking at the
list OF new books. Then he went to the counter
and IN few moments the librarian steDned
along to attend to his wants Some tins was
passed in inquirlng about the latest publica-
tions, when he suddenly asked: Have Won
any late books by Charles Dckens?''-Ban
Commercial.
| HAVE invented another machine II is a
labor saving continuance for mothers, being a
self-rocking cradle, baby spanker and clothes
wringer in one. The baby spanker works like a
paddle wheel, the loose paddles doing the
spanking. AS many as five babies can be
spanked at one time. All you have to do is to
drop baby in the slot and the machine does
the rest .-NeD York Telegram.
Miss DAISY GENERALIZATION. 1 can never &C.
cent Mr.. Walstret.
Coupon Cutter-Don't be reckless. Consider
his wealth and position; and then he is only IS.
and goodooking, too
Miss Daisy Cutter He may be young in years
father; but the man who can pass a base bali
bulletin without turning his head to see what
the score is, is too old for me.-Puck
Mr.. SKINNPHLINT had been walking the floor
with his hand on his jaw for about four hours
Why don't you have it pulledn' INQUIRED his
wife -'
Have it pulled?" he roared. Martha Ann
that tooth cost me 81 bill less than a wear ago
for filling. Reckon I'm going to throw that
money away and half dollar on TOD of it,
Not much! Ache away, gosh ding ye Ache
away"
And Mr.. Skinnphlint resumed his walk
Chicago Tribune.