Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-05
MORMON JOE AND HIS IA.
OVER THERE VALLEY. IDAHO
February 18th. 1891.

FEBRUARY 18TH, 1881.
TO tho Editor Of the T1xEs:
DEAR SIR-It is with mixed feel.
ings of JOY and regret that write to
inform you that have changed both
my creed and politics. The creed
holed me and have Just crawled out,
to find that during my martyrdom the
Lord had rung up Prophet MILFORD
Woodruff and selephoned over the
Hello line that no was dead wrong
on the polygamy racket, and to let 60.
Wifi. says that is the straight tip, and
a. it chimes in with . revelation l
reocived-though not from the sbad>
owy land-l HAVE let 60.
The revelation in my case made its
appearance in the bodily form of my
first wife's ma. who was running the
ranch when returned from bondage.
Ma is 4 tall rawb0ned Hercules,
with saffron eolored complexion and
the biceps of . prize fighter. She is
also the proud possessor Of lungs Of
brass and tongue that revolves on
its own axis. Mas style of beauty is
unique but not winning, and her
onion. favored breath would protect
her were she otherwise defenseless,
which she is not.
I, being a small man and meek as
, Moses, caved in at once, when this
petticoated Sullivan shook her
ponderous fist in my face and told me
in straight business tones that No. 2
must be dropped, or something else
would drop. What could l do, Mr..
Editor, but falter out, "Let her drop
and be-sueared? HAD to do it.
One look into mother.in.law's eyes
and at her uplifted arm convinced me
that she was born to wear the purple,
so bowed to fate and accepted the
revelation. She has told me to call
her Ma-broad a-but l think i.
should be. paw.
Now, to politics. Ma is a Nilsson.
rian Democrat, and l have been ev.
erything the Church told me to be
Now l belong to the Democratic fold
and am eager for Office. Ma says
there will be an extra session of the
Legislature, aud l must get elected
as she is willing to swear that I will
cohab. no more. She says there,
money in It, and that I am good 70,
nothing else but to vote early and
often and collar the scads. "Barkis
is willin," but what l first want &c
know is will there BE an extra session
Of the Legislature, and can call q
meeting of my friends, get myself
elected, procure a certificate and de.
,nand seat in that body of Solons
| think there is room for few NOR e
Senators in Washington, ana also fnr
a few more censures on crowned
heads am eager to get at the EN-.
press of India, and point out to her,
that over indulgence in strong waters
does not improve her beauty, and tina.
her "lo aud behold" style of dress,
when staggering under a heavy jag
is immodest and unbecoming, in q
woman of her age and build.
l would also warn the Prince oil
Wales that the eye of virtuous young
Idaho is on aim and that shc is deepl,
shocked at lis glazing Mormon pro
clivities.
1t may be that mother and son vii
pay no more attention to these protest.
than the Russian Bear viii to the on,
sent begging him to let up on tn,
Hebrew children; but they will be o
great benefit TO the authors IN Sc
curing the Milesian vote at the ne x
election.
Please advise me in the matter as
am anxious to do good to myself al,
others.
In conclusion, allow me to quote
verse from the Book OF Mormon, 70
the benefit Of those who, like myself
are affected with too much mother
in law. "Twice blessed is he i
whose tent dwelle,h his wife and hi
wife's mother; for even though b
gain Paradise, yet shall be not fea
He'll"
} Yours in affection,