Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-11-25

isn't the man who paints a fence
a hue-er OF woodP
When you look at some people the
first thing you think Of Is club.
Boys go to West Point for a cadet.
ship, and girls for q cadet-smack.
The chimney-sweep is a contented
'ellow-at least he Is always sooted.
Live within your income, because Il
Is very inconvenient to live without It.
The Frenchman says: When | start
out in search Of a wife I'm going to
Havre.
The wheels OF matrimonial life run
more smoothly when there is 8
little Juvenile.
When a man is looking for a wife it
Is his mission. When he gets her It IL
his submission.
The owner first breaks the race
horse. then the race-horse proceeds to
break the owner.
Most men like to see themselves *
print" but women do not They
prefer silk or satin.
The two ugliest things on earth Is
the man who looks like girl and the
girl who looks like a man.
Contributor: How much ought 1 to
get for that poemP Editor, You
ought to get about Is years.
Don't be too severe on the man who
scolds his wife In public Perhaps
that is the only time he dares TO do so.
Tommy: Paw. what is senatorial
courtesyP" Mr.. Figg: 1t means that
no senator is expected to ask another
one what he paid for his seat
The Watch Trust is said TO be break
ing up. 1t is time. A great many
other trusts. by :he way, need watsh-
ing.
They tell me you have had some
money left you" said Brown. Yes"
replied Fogg, sadly lit lef: me long
ago"
Teacher-"Now. children. BY wha,
is the earth divided?" Tommy (whose
father is a kickeD-"By the politi-
clans"
Waiter Cat the club)-"There's a
lady outside who says that her hus-
band promised to be homo early to-
night" All (rising) Excuse me- o
The chin is said to be an important
thing for man to consider in choosing
wife. but the absense OF the chin is
what he really, truly needs after the
ceremony.
A clever man has invented a system
OF reading music for the blind How
delightful Now they can feel the elo.
quence of Wagners music without hav-
ing to hear it.
If you would know the reason why,
A maiden often answers mo-"
"Iis part of loves philosophy
Ihat you must not accept her so.
''Butter," says a learned writer, |!
Twas unknown to the ancients" Ii
would be hard'to make a man believe /
that who has ever eaten a meal at
a Wellington Hotel.
Severe Adorer (about to enter the
l trust you find a great
deal of comfort in thinking of Scripture |
verses. Interesting Invalid: Yes, in
deed! That text Grin and bear it, |
does me heap OF good.
When dog gets after a RABBIT, he
makes the hare fly. Sometimes when
a woman gets after her derelict hus-
band, she, too. makes the hair fly.
And when a mother finds her only son
at the jam, she also makes the heir fiy.
Brown: Where is your diamond
ring, my dear" Mrs. Brown: 1t Is
being reset" Little Johnny (who
has been out with his mother): docs !
he man always give you money, ma, /
when you take anything to be re-
Dairedp"
Ettie's brother-"Do you love my sis
Ter Eftie?" Efle's steady companion
wv by, Willie. that is q queer question.
" by do you want to knowP Efie's
1rother-''She said last night she would .
give n dollar to know, and I'd like to /,
scoop 1t In"
Mrs. Smitem-B Bobby. you bad boy,
nave you been fighting with Tommy
olimson againp Dear. deari l shall !
nave TO get you a new suit Bobby
That's nothing. ma You ought to
zee Tommy Slimson. His ma may
lave to get her a new boy.
Brown Ito Black who is preparing
or continental trip)-How do you
Jet on with your language, old fellowP''
5lack-"Capitauy. Why I've got so
low | can think In French" Brown
Well, that's blessing. for it's more
han you could ever do in English"