Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-31
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

family medicine chest, and the quack
who wants to get his money has only
to go to him with spring tonic,
winter porous plaster, a fall liver pad
or an everyday cure for rheumatism.
There is at this moment, ia closet
set apart in the Bowser mansion for
that purpose, more sure cure for colds,
coughs, influenza, hay fever, catarrh,
tooth-ache, rheumatism, consumption,
torpid liver, neuralgia, hatulency,
general decline, yellow fever, small
pox, cholera morbus and pneumonia
than any New York hospital could use
in month.
Mrs. Bowser hasn't seen all this stuff
come into the house without "a pro-
test, but protests have not been ofthe
least avail. At the first word of re-
proach Mr. Bowser would turn on her
with
Mrs. Bowser, how many doctors
and drug stores are there in this cOun-
try p
Il don't know"
"Of course you don't. Ii ien your
business to know. | do know, how
ever, and I'll tell you that there are
over 1000, 900 doctors-one to every 80
Of our population. Just think ofthat!
There are also nearly 1000, 900 drug
stores, each one supported by about
forty such people rs you are"
well p she asked.
well. it must follow that there is
mighty little sense among average
people to run to a doctor every time
anything gets out of keller. Think
of the money thrown away"
But nothing ever ails any of us but
Il headache" she protested.
NO, of course not But why not
Simply because | am II prudent and
far-seeing man. | lock the stable be-
fore the horse is stolen. In other
words, during the five years We have
been married have saved us from at
fifty fits of sickness, each Of which
would cost at least fifty dollars in
cash.
"Well, have you been getting any
thing to-day ?" she asked. IF so, you
might as well throw it out of the win
dow. for we don't need it
Don't need it, Mrs. Bowser-don't
need it - he echoed, and he stood up
and waved a paper package aloft.
But we do need it, all Of us need it,
need it bad. Do you know what sea
son of the year this is p
"Of course, it's spring"
"WelI, what takes place in the
spring.
Various things"
Yes, and one Of them is a sort Of
collapse of the physical system. We
lose flesh. We are spleeney. We are
bilious and subject to chills. We are
in Just that state to invite fever to
seize upon us and in nine cases out Of
ten it would be fatal. Is it prudence
to tone up the system or 10 have
funeral in the house p
What have you got there ? avoid
ing a direct answer to his question.
Roots. Mrs. Bowser, roots Nature
furnished man all the medicines
needed when it caused roots to grow
in the same soil he treads. Here Is
burdock, sassafras, sarsaparilla, sweet
bud blackberry and two or three 9th
er kinds. each a specific in itself, all
combined. sure panacea for nearly
all the ills that l. uman flesh is heir to-"
And you are going TO eat them-all
of us must eat them = she anxiously
asked
Wait and see" he replied with a
pomposity that quite settled her, and
Undue time she saw.
After supper Mr. Bowser took pos
session Of the kitchen to make his root
tonic. He put all the roots in a tea
kettle, started up a good fire, and at
intervals of every five minutes he
walked out 70 cool his face and say TO
Mrs. Bowser:
doctors Drug stores. Fangh I!
In a week from now you won't know
yourself =
After couple of hours Mr.. Bowser
poured off two quarts Of dark liquid
which gave out an odor similar TO
that of ripe cucumber flung against
the smoke-house door in August.
Being alone in the kitchen at the
time. he, of course, took down the
roller towel TO strain it through. He
81 lIol 90 tb. Eouid balf a Mint