San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-09-16
ALL SORTS.

n GOOu SuBgestlOh' AhaO "h"
donna OF yours is rather prim, think,
said Criticus. Perhaps would Del,
ter call it "Prim- Modanna, then"
suggested Doube.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Spatts-"Miss Elder is much older
than thought. Hanker-Impossible!
Well 1 asked her if she had read
AEsop's Fables, and she said she read
them when they first came out.-New
York Truth.
Calculated to Aggravate il: Or.
Paresis-I think Mrs. Butts, il would
do your has band good TO feed him on
goats milk awhile, Mrs. Butts-But.
doctor, my usband is very headstrong
now.-Puck.
Maine Ink: Send me up cocktail
said the guest at Maine hotel. Can't
do it, sir:but I'll get you some ink
said the boy. 1 don't want any ink
Sly, guess you never tried OUT ink
did you?-New York Sun.
His Great Work: Penelope Adam
Are you an admirer of Addison,
Mrs. Neuboddy-Oh, my, yes! Pene.
lope Adams-And what think you
wss his best effort? Mrs, Neuboddy-
The phonogragh, by all odds.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The Crack Detective: Chief Of Police
Have you given any work of that
crack detective put on by the board?
Captain-He had one job. Chief
Did he catch 'em? Why, say chief,
that Teller couldn't catch cold.-New
York Herald.
Current Report: can't understand
how shipwreck people starve to death
at sea, said little Johnny Fizzletop.
Why can't you understand it? There
Is nothing for them to eat In the ocean.
There amt? No Well then my
teacher is liar. He said there were
currents in the ocean. Nobody need
starve when he can eat currents. L
wish 1 had some now.-TeXas Sift.
ings.
Strategic Movement; First boy
See here! Didn't L see you running
down street yesterday, with Bill
Bounce after you, wantln to lick you
Second boy-Y-e-s. What did you
run for? II was only running 90 as
to get him away from home, so his
mother couldn't see him fightin; but
by the time he was out of sight of his
house we got in sight of our house;
and then as L my mother would see
me if stopped TO hit him, went in,
so as to be out o. temptation.-Street
& Smiths Good News.
She Spoke Without thinking: Do
you know Miss MISUNDERSTANDING
you are the first girl L ever kissed?
Oh, that's just what they all say
Life.
She what shall I say when papa
asks me what your prospects are? He
Tell him 1 expect to have one of the
richest men in town for my father-in-
law.-Leslie's.
What was young Leonard White
fred for? The boss caught him in q
lie. Was it whopper? Well, he said
his salary was plenty big enough to
suit him Puck.
His Am bition: Willie, said the vIsi
tor, what is your ambition? I'd like"
said the boy to have people tremble
like leaves at the mere mention OF my
name.-Harpers Young People.
The Same Old Way: Traveler-And
you say you have hundred souvenir
spoons! Didn't they cost you lots of
money? Traveler-Not at all. The
waiter turns his back and do the
| rest.-Toledo Blade.
An InjudiciousQuery: Have you
read The Light That Failed?"she
asked the stock holder in the gas
company. No, he answered, and then
he avoided her for the rest of the eve
ming Star.
Miss Gossip-Mrs Youngly was
very pretty, but I think she carried
her flirting too far. Miss Lissenwell
Why? Miss Gossip-She fiirted with
the minister while he was margin G
them.-New York Herald.
Mother will you be kind enough to
cook the dinner to-day? John was so
satisfied with the cook that sent
her off, without telling him about it.
Certainly, my daughter. John(at din
ner table, Maria, you must sent OF
the cook. This is the worst deal she
has given me yet.-Texas Siftings.
Sunday Excursion Train to Kerrville
Sept. 20, 1891.
On account of the SangerfesT at
Comfort, the S. A. & A. P. Ry. will
| run an excursion train to Kerrville on
Sunday, Sept. Goth, leaving San An
| tonic at 500 q. M, arriving at Ro-
bards, S:27 a. M; Leon Springs, sos q.
M; Van Raub, 9:15 q. M; Boerne,
9:35 q. m; Welfare, 1000 q. M; War
ing, 1912 q. M; and Comfort, 1875 a.
( m; Ganahl, ILLS a. M: and Kerrville,
11:40 Q. IN. Returning, leave Kerr
Vile, 1900 noon; arriving at