The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-04-03
M'SWAT'S EXPERIMENT.
Ills Ingenious Scheme for Reducing House.
hold Expenses.

Fsis Ingenious Scheme for Reducing House.
hold Expenses.
Mr.. McSwat went home one afternoon
q few weeks ago with something
wrapped up in brown paper. He laid
1t on the kitchen table, but kept his
hand on it, as if it were mystery too
momentous to be unfolded without TAX
ing precautions against inf1icting upon
the sensitive nervous system of Mrs.
McSwat a sudden and unexpected
shock.
"Well, Billiger, what is it?"
Don't be III hurry, Lobelia. All in
good time. have made up my mind to
try little experiment. 1 can hardly
call it an experiment, though. 1t is
such an obvious, practical thingthat it's
a wonder to me it hasn't been done for
a hundred years. l am going to show
you, Lobelia, how to save money and
add to the comforts of life"
Mr.. McSwat then proceeded with
great elaboration to open the package.
He took off the string, rolled it up into
little coil, and gave it to Mrs. Nc
Swat.
Its a good idea, Lobelia," he said,
ito save every piece of string that
comes into the house. You may need it
some time"
She had bag full of similar coils
laid away somewhere, tangled into an
ineXtricable mass and running over at
the top. and had no use under the
shining sun for another inch of string,
r1,o 70 fol- nf this
particular wad Meanwhile Mr.. McSwat
was slowly unrolling the bundle. He
brought to view at last a beefs tongue.
There it is, Lobelia," he exclaimed.
81 don't see anything remarkable
about it, Billiger, except that 1T isn't
smoked"
''That's just the point, madam" he
retorted. 1--WE got tired of paying
sixty cents apiece for smoked tongues
that look like section of dried mon
keys forearm and taste as if they had
been dug up out of an Indian mound.
I'm going to smoke my own beef
tongues hereafter"
"But how are you going to do it? We
haven't any smoke-house.
"Just you wait minute and you'll
see? Bring me an iron poker"
Mrs. McSwat hunted up the desired
implement and brought it to him.
"Now observe"
He thrust the poker about half its
length through the slit in the smaller
end of the tongue.
'Now come on, Lobelia."
He preceded her upstairs, opened a
back window, stepped out on the
kitchen roof and made his way up by
laborious climbing to the comb, and
thence along to the chimney at the
farther end. Lifting himself carefully
up he placed the poker across the top OF
the chimney, the beef-tongue hanging
down inside.
That's the scheme, Lobelia," he
said, laundering back to the window.
It'll smoke the thing all right and save
just forty cents. Catch me buying
smoked tongues any moren
But there's no smoke coming up that
chimney, Billiger," said his wife. "We
burn hard coal, you know"
"rll fix that. Well throw in a slab
occasionally, and if that doesn't make
smoke enough we'll burn little soft
coal. They're both cheaper than hard
coal"
They went downstairs, and for the
next twenty-four hours or longer, in
compliance with instructions from Bill.
Tiger, Mrs. McSwat and the amiable do.
nestle, Ophelia, piled the kitchen range
literally with slabs of wood and chunks
of soft coal.
On the morning of the second day
after Mr.. McSwat had put in operation
his grand scheme for saving money anC
adding to the comfort of living he
climbed out to the chimney again, lifted
the tongue out and brought it down
stairs.
mo discount on this job, Lobelia,
he said, holding it up. ITS smoked til
you can't rest. Ever see finer looking
tongue than that?"
Doesn't it look good deal shriveled
Billiger?" inquired Mrs McSwat, dubi
ously.
ga smoked tongue always looks shriv
eled. All you need to do now is t.
scrape it off nicely, peel off the skin
and COOK IL.
Mrs. McSwat pulled the tongue of
the poker, laid it down on the tabl'
and it broke in two.
1t was covered with thick deposit o
SCOT, was charred almost to the center
and from its steaming interior came
rich odor in which several distinct kind
of smoke were clearly perceptible.
SIT won't need any more cooking
Billiger," announced Mrs. McSwat, afte
, brief examination.
J In the center of the thicl1est portion
/ there was about an ounce and half o
, flesh that had escaped the general DIES
truction in which the rest of the tongu
) had been involved. How Mrs. McSwa
} carefully scooped this out, served it u
for Billiger's dinner as temptingly a
, the nature of the case would admit an
/ hung over him like an angel of mere
: while he ate it-how Billiger McSwa
{ made mental computation as to tn
; saving he had effected in smoking hi
, own beef tongue, without counting tw
l large rents in the inner periphery c
l each trousers leg caused by shingl
nails on the roof-how he reflected o
the comforts he had added to life by hi
Al