Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1891-02-18
PATIENT.

''Patience" should be taken off monu-
ment and put at the end of a telephone
Washington Post.
'Did the grocera make anything on su-
gar?" asked Lamkin. eyes" said Broker
Margin, "those who had any sand did,
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
She ION their wedding trip)-What is the
whistle blowing for, Fred! Fred-We are
approaching either station or q tunnel.
She-I hope it's tunnel.-Life.
Not in the Four Hundred. d.-McCorkle-
Noah's family was not an aristocratic one.
McCrackle ttentatively-No. McCorkle-
No; they were not in the swim-Brooklyn
Life.
Miss Neverpay-Why does paw look so
glum, NAV? Did the bank he keeps his
money in fail! Mrs. Neverpay Worse.
The bank he is supposed to keep his mon
ey in didn't fail.-Good News.
Carker calling on nd}-Mercy. What
is that frightful shouting upstairs: Serv
ant-That's MI. Barker, sir. Carker-Why
I thought he had lost his voice. Servant
He had, sir, but he has just received the
doctors bill.-Puck.
New York Assessments-''I met Mr..
Knickerbocker in shabby coat while
ago. He has not failed, has het' ''0h,
no; he only puts that coat on when he
goes to the assessors to give in his property
for assessment. Texas Siftings.
Mrs. Bleecker (of New Yorkl-The law
gives a widow her third in Illinois, be
lieves Mrs. .Wiggery (of Chicagol-Oh, no,
l had to hustle for my third, just as did
for my Grst and second. One can't expect
to have a husband given to one.-Brooklyn
Life.
Sambo-What did de doctah say allied
yer mostly, Bill!
Billie lowed dat had q confagration
oh diseases. Fust, de salvation CLANS don't
insist my Indigestion; dat makes torpedo
liver, SOS I'm liable to 60 off any minute
Texas Siftings.
When some one Dragged that only one
public execution had taken place in Tur-
key in five years, an Englishman investi-
gated and discovered that no culprit who
could raise Slo0 to bribe officials had
suffered death during the last 20 years.
There is always a good reason for any
| thing that happens in Turkey.-Detroit
Free Press.
He-My dear, | am a little short of
money. Could you let me have $50, 600 OF
your million for a few days! She-I have
no million dollars. He-Before We were
married you told me your were worth a
mllllon. Sne-Nny, you otten toIu me l
was worth my weight in gold, and
| thought 142 pounds of gold was worth
| about million; that's all.-Judge.
A famous college president, a clergyman,
was addressing the students in the chapel
at the beginning of the college year. at
| is, he said in conclusion, "a matter of
congratulation To all the friends OF the
college that this year opens with the largest
freshman class in its history" And then,
without any pause he turned to the Script.
ure lesson for the day, the third psalm,
and began reading with voice of thun
der, Lord, how they are incresed that
trouble me. ."-Elmira Advertiser.
Educational Item.-Professor of music
How are You coming on, old friend: Art
you still giving French lessons! Professor
of languages-Yes, give French lesson.
when I've got nothing to do. Glow doe.
it pays" Il have different prices for the
lessons. For some l charge fifty cents {
lesson for others five dollars a lesson
Give dollars lesson! That's steeE
| price for q French lesson" Eyes, but no
body takes any of those five dollar les
sons. Texas Strings.