The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-07-16

Mr.. AND MRS. eoWsER.
Some Domestic Incidents That Make the
Family Wheel Go Round.

Family Wheel Go Round.
"Pd like to get my hands on the chap
who made this shirt for about a minutet
exclaimed Mr. Bowser the other morning
as he showed away from the breakfast
table.
Anything wrongf" queried Mrs. Bow
ser.
Anything wrongi Would / complain
If there wasn't something wrong? Does
any husband ever complain until the last
straw breaks the cameIs back? It's all
lunches and punches and bundlesF"
"But it was only yesterday you were
saying what an elegant fit this last lot
were"
"Never said anything of the sorti Fact
| is never had a shirt that fitted me with
in forty rods, and never expect to have,
and it's the same with collars"
"There is surely something wrong this
morning." she said, as she made closer in
spection. "Let me get you another collar"
TT would only be the same. suppose
it's my fate to go through life with shirt
all launched up between my shoulders and
collar saving my ears off. Isuppose there
are wives who paMsome little attention to
their husbands comforts, butt
''Mr. Bowser, you ordered those shirts
YOURSELF she interrupted.
Certainly"
"You were satisfied with themp'
| eyes"
''They set perfectly lovelyp'
"Well?"
"Then what have I to do with it,"
"Mrs. Bowser," he calmly observed, as
| he rose and assumed his favorite pose,
there are such things as buttonholes in
shirts Tlssre are bands and yokes and
seams. A shirt may go into the bureau
folded In an intelligent manner, or it may
be ruffled and crumpled and spoiled. A
| wifely wife looks out for these things. A
wife who doesn't care two cents for her
husbands comfort doesn't concern herself
about such trifes. Good morning, Mrs.
| Bowserp
He hadn't been gone half an hour when
Mrs. Bewser was looking high and low for
his nightshirt. 1t couldn't be found 1t
had disappeared off the face Of the earth
leaving not even button behind. When
he came up to lunch she said:
"Mr Bowser, l can't find your night
shirt"
II presume notp he calmly replied,
some houses have head and system,
and the nightshirt don't get mixed up with
the potatoes down C6lldrl
az don't believe you took 1t off this morn
ing. You put your dayshirt on over it, and
that's the reason you had such trouble"
''Mrs. Bowser, if you wish to infer that
Pm an idiot just speak right out in plain
languagep' roared Mr.. Bowser across the
table.
"But you might do such thing"
$50 the Hudson river might run into
Lake Eriel It's far more likely that you
carried that shirt up in the garnet or down
cellar. shouldn't be surprised to find the
girl using it for dustrag in the kitchenp
''Mr. Bowser, you've got that shirt onl I
know it! Pll dare you to remove your col
lar" she exclaimed.
81 have said that this house had no sys-
tenn" he slowly replied as he rose from the
table $40 prove that am right will
take off my collar and unbutton the band
of my shirt. Now, then, are you satisfied
that it is owing to your want of atten-
tion"-
you've got it oni" she interrupted. as
she pulled at the band of his nightshirt.
at can't ber'
"But here it isl You forgot to take it
off"
Mr. Bowser turned pale and walked off
upstairs. Ten minutes later he came down
and said:
''Mrs Bowser, don't ever play another
such trick on mel"
"Why, what had l to do with it?" she
asked.
"Never you mind about that but don't
attempt anything more of the kindl l
have already stood far more than most hus-
bands would!"
The other awfully hot day he came limp
ing home and fell into the chair and
groaned:
"I'll be hanged ifs I don't hire blind
woman to come here and look after my
thingsl Ny feet are all cut to pieces by
these internal old socksP'
"Old socksl Why, bought 'em new for
you only three days agOW
"Holes in both of 'em, but might have
expected that. Look there!"
He pulled off his shoes and displayed
pair of all wool socks with hole in the
heel of each.
What on earth are you doing with those
socks on?" she exclaimed. 81 told you last
night where to find six new pairs of sum-
mer socksF
"They weren't there"
but they were, and you went into the
clothes press and dug these out of the bot
tom of the trunk"
Mrs. Bowser, you said I'd find socks in
the bottom drawer of the bureau"
eyes"
"Well there isn't a sock there. There
isn't the slightest reason to believe you
ever put a sock there. Pll bet a million
dollars to cent there are no socks therel"
Come up stairsl"
He followed her up, and she went to the
bureau, pulled out the drawer and pointed
to the six pairs of socks resting there.
"Yes, seep' he observed, as he backed
of. "But where were they last night
when I wanted themf"
Fright there"
"Uml Mrs. Bowser, I don't want to
criticise your way of keeping house. No hus-
band ever finds fault with his wife when it
is possible to avoid it, and he is always
willing to suffer and endure; but, Mrs.
Bowser, feel it my duty TO sit down and
have long talk with you, and TO speak to
you very plainly. We must have system
here, or it will be better for you to go back
to your mother. You can get four trains
out of here day for Detroit, Mrs. Bowser
-four trains a day-and your mother
would meet you at the depot there. Socksl |
Yesi / see them now, but where were they |
last night, Mrs. Bowserf-M Quad in |
New York World.