The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-12-25
A BACHELORS STORY.


contented and happy, am still
bachelor, contented but not happy.
This is the difference between Thomas
Growler Of month ago and the same
person today. But one short month ago
! thought nothing of matrimony. |
smoked my pipe in comfort at my lodg-
ings lin the city Of Canterbury or sewed
refractory buttons upon my clothing
without thought of any female to take
that employment out of my hands.
But Twas one day seated in the beauti-
full grounds of the Dane John, watching
the children drinking at the fountain,
when a shadow fell upon the path. It
might have been the shadow of coming
events, but upon looking around l per-
ceived that the substance was a very
beautiful young lady, with roguish blue
eyes that might have been the head
quarters of fun and good humor, looking
at me from frame Of golden ringlets.
Now, you need not imagine that l,
sober gentleman Of 40, was in love
with girl. Nothing of the kind. She
was at least 80, and ragged little boy
who stood near, whose tongue loosened
with piece of silver, told me that she
was a widow. who owned small farm
outside the town, and that her name was
Mrs. Faber He also informed me that
her brother lived with her and managed
the property.
Upon the following morning greatly
surprised my friend, Harry Powers, by
praising the Widow Faber, and request
ing an introduction. He gazed at me
moment in speechless astonlshment, and
| think that he really thought of knock
ing me down with Websters Dictionary
and calling for assistance. But Harry
was engaged himself, and soon compre-
hended the state of affairs. So he
dropped the book upon the table and in
vited me to a picnic which was to take
place in the woods in a few days, where
| should meet the lady and be intro
duced.
/ Immediately purchased a new suit of
clothes. beautiful wig and a pair of
tight boots, and when the morning of
the festival dawned crowded myself
into the broadcloth, put on my wig, and
after much preparation and strong Ian
guage had been wasted managed to
squeeze my feet into the patent feathers,
where they felt as if incased in red hot
iron boots
At the picnic received the promised
introduction. and had the pleasure of es-
corting Agnes all day. She talked with
me, and we attacked the eatables in
company, investigating the interior of
pigeon pies and dissecting chickens to.
gether. was happy all day, and when
at parting she invited me to visit her
believe the tightness of my waistcoat
was all that prevented my heart from
bursting its bonds My feet prevented
me from sleeping that night, but / was
willing to suffer in such cause, and
bore it without murmuf
One day hired a horse and gig at the
livery stable, and started toward the
farm to carry Agnes to a party at a
neighboring town. She was already
dressed when | drove up, and looked
beautiful in new bonnet and shawl.
We were very comfortable, and our CON
versation was very interesting. | was
advancing rapidly in her good opinion,
and was beginning to think seriously of
popping the question, when the horse
stopped suddenly as if turned to stone.
We both tumbled suddenly forward
with q low bow, and my companions
lovely nose came into sharp contact with
the dashboard.
| Immediately jumped out to see what
was the matter, but everything about
the horse appeared to be all right, and
again climbed into the gig and prepared
to start But the horse obstinately re-
fused to move, coaxed and dattered,
but he would not be persuaded.
thrashed him with the whip until my
wrist ached, but he remained immova-
BILE as a statue, AT last sharpened a
hedge stake, took my seat, gave the
reins to my companion and gave him q
tremendous blow, hardly hoped to see
him stir, but he did, and started with a
leap that almost threw me on my back,
/ Immediately seized the reins, but his
determination had taken another chan
mel, and he would not stop. | tugged at
the 'ns and shouted, "Whoap but he
heldt. r7-Feen his teeth and rushed
along III "syay comet.
Agnes we
dashed by
speed Of aloeo.
splintered the &
and the bright sho
stars in dangerous pl
Finally the wheels
horse stumbled and