Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-03-30
NH. ANp MRs RowsER.
The Program Each Goes Through when
the Other Has = Headache.

thing except the camphor bottle. The
program then runs as follows:
Enter Mr. Bowser.
Hangs up his hat and overcoat.
Marches into back parlor, evidently
suspecting some calamity.
Stands and gazes at me as if were
some curiosity. / try to smile, but it is
dead failure.
"Humph! Cholera, supposed"
mo" Very faintly)
yellow fever, then. always knew
you'd have it'll"
"N-o. OnIy-only-"
"OnIy smallpox. ehl Nice thing to
bring into the house, isn't It'll"
"Mr. Bowser. 1--we got one of my
headaches.
"O-o-o-hi Is that all9 Good lands,
but you gave me a scarel Headache
Humphl If was woman of your
size and age I'd show little SUNK
But it's dreadfult"
@Boshi There's nine parts of imaG-
.ination to one part headache.
And he goes slamming around the
house and whistling away, as il every
sound did not fall on my skull Ike u
blow of a hammer.
~Coming to dinner?"
Mercy, but can't eat.
"Can't, eh? w II, if you will let
your Imagination run away with you in
this manner l can't help it Be more
left for me to eat, you know.
He looks in as he is ready to leave the
house and says:
= If you are down town this afternoon
come in. Bye-bye, boobyi"
We have another program-the one
which is followed when Mr.. Bowser
comes home with a bilious headache.
If I Happen to be looking when he gets
off the car block away can tell what
is the matter He comes dragging his
legs, head down, and eyes half closed,
and / meet him at the door and in
quire:
Mr.. Bowser. have you been run over
on the street,"
W-worse'n that" he gasps. as he sits
down on a stair step and holds his head
in his hands.
"Have you been shot at or stabbed by
a ruffian?"
would that hadI
"Mr. Bowser, what awful, awful
thing has happened? Answer me at
oncel"
~Pve-Pve got one of those Internal
headachesl"
~O-o-o-hi Is that all? Why, didn't
know but some awful thing had hap
pened. Well, dinner is ready, and I've
oyNf or1H f.1
~P-pork and b-beansi My soul, woman,
but how can you talk p-pork and b-beans
to dying mani"
"Only headachei Why, what should
great big man like you care about a
headache? Come to dinner.
But he staggers into the sitting room
and falls sideways on the lounge, and
utters a groan which arches the cats
back up to an angle.
Mr.. Bowser. these headaches are all
imaginary, observe. as l take him by
the legs and swing him about so that he
rests on his back.
"O-o-o-hl"
%If was a man of your size and age
I'd show little spunk"
-O-o-o-hi How can stand itl"
swell, there'h be the more left for me
to eat Better lie as quiet as you can.
But / don't go out to dinner. He
wants pillow for his head and he
wants his shoes taken off and his feet
covered up, and then have to remove
his collar and necktie and tie a wet
towel around his forehead. and all his
| pluck has departed. 1t isn't near as bad
headache as mine. The slightest head
ache a nervous woman ever has will
double discount any headache assigned
to man to carry about, but she must
grin and bear it.
get the hartshorn for Mr. Bowser.
change that for the camphor.
chafe his hands
make mustard plasters for his feet
warn the cook to be quiet in the
kitchen, and / send our boy over to a
neighbor's.
Then turn the pillow over.
Then hold the camphor under his
nose.
Then / take off the towel and tie il
tighter around his aching head. He
seems at last to fall into a doze, but
suddenly opens his eyes and family
| calls:
"BIrs. B-Bowserl"
~Yes, dear.
@Do you think-think I'm going tc
| d-die7"
"Dies Why you've only got head.
ache
But / feel q g-goneness-a sort ol
sinking away. Do you think it can bt
collapse Of the system?"
-Of course not. You've got fever
a little one about as big as pin head.
All you've got to do is TO go to sleep
~But you'd better call up the doctor.
~Nonsense!"
IF you don't get the doctor I'll be
dead in half an hour.
And so go to the telephone and ring
up central and hold an imaginary con
versation with the doctor, as follows:
Mr.. Bowser thinks he's dangerously
i'll and he wants you to come up right
away. Can't your That's too bad. Well
come in two hours at the latest He's on
the lounge now. Yes. it started with a
headache. Yes. I'll keen him sa.eIling
Of the camphor bottle. Good bye.