The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-09-25

HOW are you, Mckee, any mall Tor
me ?' and when answered in the mega
tive he turns away with a sigh and soft
murmur of 'That's funny; am expect
ing some"
Last Monday Jonas, in company with
Frank McDermott, prominent business
man; Alex. Shaw of the Patent Office,
and George Scarborough of the State
Department, all members of the Column
bia Athletic Club, started on a trip for
Boston by sea, their ultimate destina-
ton being New York. Prior to leaving
the capital McDermott, locally famous
wag, had numberless mysterious inter
views with kindred spirits at the club.
Jonas was excluded from these secret
sessions, the pass words to which were !:
"Will Charley get his mail?' the answer,
"Well, 1 guess" The secret sessions
took in 100 club men, good and true, and
each and every one was sworn to see that
Charles H. Jonas. Jr., was supplied with
mail from the time he left the club
house in Washington until he arrived in
this city.
The first batch, consisting of twenty
special delivery letters and kilograms,
was handed to the young man at the
train as it started out of the station at
Washington. The contents consisted of
duns from florists, liverymen and wash
erwomen, club dues, aud notes from i'm
aginary young women. At every station
at which the train stopped between
Washington and Baltimore the conduc-
tor duly reported with telegram. When
Mr.. Jonas boarded the steamer at Balti-
more the gentlomanly clerk presented
him with batch of some fifty letters
and papers, the former bearing 5. b.
stamps and marked immediate" Most
of them contained anxious inquiries,
short but to the point.
Dear Charley--Do you get your mail
regularly so far? Sincerely, -
The steamers clerk had his instruc-
tons, and mail was delivered in large
quantities to Jonas ct each meal, and the
/ oJCWdlu udllll4tlGN hJ AllS otlJCIOO
door at o'clock in the morning and
sang out: "Mr. Jonas! here's your
mail"
At the Adams House in Boston batch
of 500 letters, papers, packages and tele-
| grams awaited Jonas, and it required
the assistance of two porters to remove
his ''mair' to the rooms assigned him.
Among this lot were old dramatic pa
pers, newspapers and magazines several
years old, warnings that his house and
furniture were about to be seized for
non-payment Of rent, sentimental notes
and verses purporting to come from
members of the fair sex, and the usual
anxious inquiries from club friends about
the receipt of his mail. The constant
knocking at the door of his rooms in
the hotel by messengers bearing special
delivery letters and kilograms began to
grow trifle monOtonous, but the
climax was not reached until his arrival
at the Imperial Hotel in this city His
club friends had concentrated their
forces at this point, and when the hotel
clerk saw dapper little fellow with
piercing black eyes and flowing nous
tache approach the desk and register in
back hand, "Charles H. Jonas, Jr.,
Washington, D. c." he knew the man
he loDged for had arrived. Ringing the
bell under the desk he called "Front!"
and when the call was answered, he rang
for the porters and had Jonas assisted
to his room with his mail Not content
with this master stroke, the fun-loving
fiends in Washington had sentinnumera-
| BILE letters to Jonas in care of every man
in New York he expected to meet, so
that after their greetings were over the
New York friends would remark, "By
the way, old man, l have quite lot of
mail for you" Several hotels on Broad
way had a batch of letters for poor
Jonas, and Judas McDermott was sure
to remark when near any of them, Lets
90 over to the Hotel and see if
you have any mail"
Everything mallable had been sent
him-old rubber shoes, advertising
cards, cigarette pictures, Interior De-
partment reports, Congressional docu-
ments by the dozen. Washington pa
pers weeks old, heavily marked with
blue lead pencil, bills from imaginary
creditors, and threats of suits for breach
of promise. Over a hundred notes in
feminine handwriting are among the lot.
The Washington committee have at
tended strictly to business, and as long
as Mr.. Charles II. Jonas, Jr., remains
away from the shadows of the big club
house at home the boys are bound by
their oath to see that their victim gets
his mail.
Hub Smith, the author Of Listen to
My Tale of Woe" who, by the way, is a
member of the club, is engaged in Wash
ing rehearsing chorus of 100 voices in
a song of welcome to Jonas, the refrain
| of which runs as follows:
Oh, Charley boyl dear Charley boy.
Say, did you get your mailI