The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-16
BRIGHT BITS.

81 FLoATED out with the tied" as the best
man explained when asked how he came to
have rice in his hair.-F1tck.
THERE are some people in this world who
wouldn't be satisfied if they were perfectly con-
tented.-Binghdnlto Leader
LISTENING to a sermon by telephone, if ex-
tensivey INDUCED in, would play havoc with
the contribution box.-Boston Herald.
The PRESIDENT gave a dinner to the cabinet
last night. We suppose one of the dishes on
the card was cabinet pudding,-RocheSter Post
DR.. KocH's lymph has been very successfully
tried in Boston, but nothing can cure the old
towns consumption of pork and beans.-Chi-
cG0o Herald be-
THE OPERATIONS of the Chicago bankers have
driven the burglars of that city TO desperation.
They have resorted to overhauling lawyers
Offices Washington Post
A MAN who has the rheumatism said this
morning: II give you my word OF honor that
have not sean any one in a week who has not
had remedy for rheumatism. "-Atchison
Globe
WHEN two old men get together in the even
ing and begin to talk about what they used to
do when they were boys at school, even the fire
would 60 out, if it could possibly leave the
room.-SOmerUiIIe Journal.
BREATHEs there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said;
"Were | rewarded as my worth;
Ia own the big and bloomin earth?"
Indianapolis Journal.
sHE-Think Of itl A Boston girl reading an
essay on Bismarck Did she think him man
of blood and iron?n
Hell suppose so. She alluded to him fire.
quently as tho chalvbeate chancellor Detroit
Free Press.
LILLY-Aren't these oysters good, Bessl
Bessie-Well, should say. | used to make fun
of the New York girls for liking counts SO much,
but if all New York counts are like these don't
wonder they are after them all the time.-Chi-
cGgo Times.
Il WANT something for my boy to work at, ~
said an anxious father to friend.
What eau he do?"
WELL" replied the father with a sigh, 81
really don't know. He is too light for heavy
work and too heavy for light work - Washing
ton Sta
CERTAIN KINDS of suffering wake up the mind
and make it unusually active which is one
reason why schoOlboys used to be birched.
When You have your teeth filed again observe
how alert your faculties are during the active
duration of the process. Men have been known
to make verses in the dentists chair Rochester
UnioH.
The SIZE Of this country is a great source of
amazement to the foreigner. His establishment
is of much the same nature that once prompted
member of Henry Irving's company to re-
mark: II never saw such blawsted big coun-
try. You get in the cars and you ride all day
and all night, and then find that you haven
got anywhere after all. Boston Traveller.
PICTURE DEALER-It represents the landing
OF the Pilgrims in America, sir.
Patron-It dor An p'where's Castle Garden
10, that's long before Castle Garden was
built, sir. They landed on the rock you see in
the picture"
"Ph'wel it's no wonder SO few Americans liver
come to this country if they had to put up wild
such landin' accommodations as that"-Har-
per'S Weekly.
ONE OF Hartford's prominent ministers was
pacing a hotel corridor not long ago when
colporteur approached him with this question:
Are you a chrstiani"
II hope So" replied the clergyman, mod
esty
Hope SO! Don't you know soy" persisted his
interlocutor.
No response from tie divine.
We'll, now" said the stranger, eff man
should strike you on the right cheek, would
you turn to him the other alsoS"
mo, l wou dn't, if he had as much cheek as
you have. The interview was not prolonged
Boston Conoreod tionalist.