Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-29
MURRAY'S MUSINGS.
Disclosing wellKnown Fscts About Inn
mixrssson-How One Man Acts When
He's Drunk-BegxinE Lssters Follow
American Travellers Back From Europe

rrxox STAFF CORRESPONDENT
NEW YORK, Nov. 28.-Public attention
has repeatedly been drawn to the recent
extraordinary influx Of an undesirable class
of emigrants. The experience of an Emf
grafton Commissioner as an assisted pauper
in the steerage was scarcely necessary TO
convince An observant New Yorker that
the emigration laws were being daily ana
systematically violated. 1t may be seen IN
the Russian quarter, the Italian colony anu
in the regions of the city infested oy the
Chinese II there were any way to geb a1
the bottom of this pauper emigration puSl-
ness, the "true facts,' to use a metropolitan
reportorial redundancy, would doubtless
surprise people 1t is not yet exactly clear
wherein the United States management OF
the question is an improvement upon the
old Castle Garden system. But the responsi-
bihty is fixed under the new law.
II those laws and regulations are not
strictly observed there is a power behlnd
the throne-the great laboring cIass-whfch
may be appealed to not in vain.
One of the humorous features of the Barge
Office is the unanimity with which General
James R. O'Bicrne was roasted" for strict
ness rs to pauper emigrants and the sudden
discovery that the chief who relieved him
is letting everybody in with insufficient ex-
animation. Next to this comes Comnts-
sioner Schulteis' discovery that the aims
house crowd and other dregs of Europe that
come over in the steerage of the big liners
are not remarkable for either cleanliness or
godliness. 1t reminds me of the boy who,
having struggled through the alphabet
wonders much that he had to go SO far to
learn SO little. The most casual inspection
of New York neighborhoods where these
same classes live after they get here would
have developed a degree OF filth and sodden
immortality by the side OF which the tenn
porary life in the steerage fairly rises to
plane of respectability. 1t isn't necessary
for man to disguise himself and submit to
the discomforts of an ocean voyage In order
to ascertain what sort Of people are coming
into the United States, although it may be
New York tenement house will afford
enough Information on this point to make
decent man sick.
An Odd Manifestation of Liquor.
The problem of what given man will
do under the pressure Of given quantity Of
Intoxicating liquor Is always an interesting
one to the student OF human nature. A few
evenings ago the usual number Of we'll
dressed gentlemen about town were in vari-
Gus stages Of dining at famous chop-house.
That is to say, some wore at bread and water
and their favorite evening newspaper await
ing the correlation Of the waiter and the cul-
mary department., some were in the soup
and mustache struggle, some were "dis-
cussing"-to use plain and vulgar word,
disconnected with potatoes and malt served
up at this popular resort, and others were
dallying with tobys of ale and small bottles
and cigars and tooth-picks and mellow con-
yersation. The portraits OF stage celebrities
OF the long ago on the walls looked down upon
the astronomical scene with stern wistful-
ness. In the midst of this scene of the living
and the dead gentleman suddenly arose
and, looking wildly around, shouted "No
man in this place can hold me!''
If one Of the actors who has been dead q
dozen years had suddenly lear ped down from
the wall and offered to settle his moldering
score at the bar the assembled gentlemen
could scarcely have been more astonished.
Half a dozen chops seemed to have gone the
wrong way at once, and one man fnadvert-
emily tossed of his neighbors wine.
"I'll bet there isn't a man in the crowd
who can hold mel repeated the gentleman
defiantly.
Nobody seemed to entertain the wish to
hold him. He was rather too lara for baby.
He stood firmly on his pins. There was ap-
parently no valid reason why he should
have been held. On the contrary. an lmost
yearning wish appeared on every counte-
nance that he should not be held, but be al
lowed to 60. Especially on the face of the
manager. That gentleman at once stepped
forward and intimated his desire. Where
upon the gentleman, for he really seemed to
be such, quietly sat down and resumed his
to chop, the mellow conversation was taken
up where it had been left of, and the por-
trait Of dead pugilist on the wall looked
sour enough to curdle milk punch. This
serenity, however, was soon again dispelled
by the eccentric individual rising in his
place and again shouting his Defiance:
"There ain't man in the crowd who can
Whether It was this slip in grammar or the
rising disgust at this second disturbance the
friend of the man who couldn't be held got
rather peremptoriiy. So violently. in fact,
that the chair gave way, the friend fell on
him, and in falling both men became so tan
gled up you couldn't tell which from tother.
They rolled over and over, clawfng each
other like wildcats, providentially gravitat-
ing toward the door, and finally down the
front steps. Nobody wanted to hold either
of them. Some minutes afterward, when
quiet had been restored, battered-Iooking
gentleman, with light overcoat ripped from
stem to stern and splashed with mud, ap-
peared in the doorway, and politely said;
Then he bowed himself out, and the chops
began to chop again; snd waiter picked up
the picture Of the dead puG1lfst that had
fallen from its nail.
A Monomaniac on Gas Stoves.
-"Gas stove? Yes; I thought so" said
friend of mine 1--WE got o gas stove my
SELF You see Pittsburg friend said that
there was nothing like gas for convenience,
usefulness and economy, and he figured it
out so satisfactorily that I put one in my
Office. 1t was jewel I saved time and
money and worry by that stove, and talked
it up among my friends-became for the time
being gas-stove monomaniac. Every time
anybody camo in 1 began on that gas stove,
showed my small bills and ev1nced an en-
thusiasm that laid me open to the suspicion
of being a stockholder in the gas company
noticed that my friends never stald very
long, declaring that my room was the hottest
place in town, and that nobody could live
many years in such an atmosphere. /
opened family quarters later and put In an
other gas stove-a cooker. 1 bought 1t OF
the same man. He sent an order to the
wrong gas company. The gas company, You
see puts the connections in for nothing to
encourage gas stoves and like the doctor,
sexton and undertaken, the gas company
and the gas stove man have a sort & OF pri-
vate understanding. l waited about week
and finally got the official ear OF our COM
pany. They sent q man over and got the
MEASUREMENTS. 1t was getting cold weather.
stove. He connected in my absence, and
collected 80 cents from my wife. In day or
two felt dizzy and sick and found the
over again. The man who took the measure
ment for my cooker never came back. l
sent for another. He came in my absence,
and was drunk and scared my vile nearly
to death. Then, in day or two. new man
came and brought two sets OF fixtures, out
OF which he finally got things together. The
new stove smoked us nearly to death. and
went through another scene with the gas
man and the stove man. The latter said 1t
was because the gas was poor, and be-
lieved him. The former said the stove was
wrong. and l believed him. They hnaiiy
managed to harmonic opinions and modify
the evil. Then the gas company began to
take statements of the meter. They were
SO anxious for that stove to get in its work
that they couldn't wait till the end of the
month. They took statements at least once
a week. Their man would burst In at al