Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-09-13
MEN NEED TRAINING.
The Supply Of Good Husbands Is
Short, Says Bessie Bramble.
BOYS SHOULD BE TAUGHT BETTER,
Their Ambition for Craftsmanship, Art or
Science Is Secondary.
TURNING THE TABLES ON CRITICS
WRITTEN FOR THE DISPATCH ]

history when women were more perslstently
lectured and harangued than at present. 1t
is assumed that they have been going wrong
ever since the world began, and what they
would come to, if let alone, the heavens
above only know. If they show desire
for an education they are presumed to be
running right off the track prescribed, be-
cause, as they are necessarily told, it is
their special business to become wives and
keep house, and that it is of vastly more
Importance that they should be able to cook
and do housework, and devote themselves
wholly to the service of their husbands.
''There is practically but one vocation for
women" says one of these critics. They
are born to be wives, and the duty of wife
is to care for the home of the husband, who
cares for her."
This being true it follows that men were
born to be husbands, so, as thousands of
men on testimony of the same writer, do not
marry, because they cannot get wives up to
the dimensions of their pattern, it is plain
to see that men as well as women are as far
away from fulfilling the purpose. for which
they were born as are some of the sisters.
TURNING THE TABLES.
Men are born to be husbands therefore
they should be trained for that vocation in
such manner as will make them good ones.
1t should be drummed and dinned into their
ears from boyhoods sunny hours to man
hoods higher day, that sooner or later they
must settle down into husbands, and that
they may we'll fulfill this destiny, all else
must be made secondary. Education in
book knowledge is all very we'll, and
not to be despised, but to be well grounded
in the chief end of man-being husband
and making wife comfortable and happy,
is better than being a senior wrangler, a
big general, profound statesman, great
financier, golden-tongued orator, or a gor-
geous millionaire. Of what account is
highly accomplished man, or one who can
talk in IA languages, who can impose
upon the world by his magnitude of mind,
or fill the sounding trump of fame with q
deathless name, if he makes his home and
wife unhappy by his lack of training as
husband?
Socrates, the ''father of philosophy" has
been set down as the most perfect example
of wise and virtuous man; but he was evil
IDENTIFY not well trained for husband, since
he spent his time mainly in talking. In
stead of working at his trade and being a
good provider, he gadded around the public
gardens and frequented the corners of the
streets-talking to any and everybody that
would listen to him or submit to his cross
questions.
NO WONDER HIS WIFE SCOLDED.
Instead of making things pleasant for his
wife, and devoting himself to her comfort,
he became one of the most ardent admirers
and most devoted friends of the famous
ha fa1 for
philosophical discussions. He cared nothing
for anything beyond the necessities of life.
BY the measure of these days he would, by
the practical people, be considered more of
o loafer than an industrious citizens, and
more shiftless, perhaps, than sensible. He
did not pretend to be teacher, but devoted
himself simply to talking, or, as says some
one, Ito prattle without end" His phi
losophy shows him to have been possessed of
great intellectual powers, and his historians
laud and magnify him as "the most excel
lent and happy of mankind. " 1t is the
general belief that his wife was a terrible
scold and made his home unhappy, but
it must be seen that if so sac had
ample provocation. Philosophizing is all
very well, but it does not keep the pot boil
ing or the cupboard filled, as Xanthippe had
full reason. it would appear, for knowing.
Then what woman, save an impossible an
gelic ideal, could accept with meakness and
patience husband who, while possessing
largely the ''gift of the CAB, had no talent
for getting on in the world. Like many
another intellectual man, he was not trained
to be a good husband. 1t is more than
likely, too, that the Grecian matrons of
that elder day did not enjoy having their
husbands running aroundiafte the beautiful
Aspasia and other brilliant and intellectual
women, while they were shut up to the do
mestic companionship of the pots and pans
in the Athenian kitchens. Moreover, the
report of the biographer, Zenophon, shows
that the story of his marriage being fail
ure is exaggerated, since the testimony of
Socrates himself is cited to prove Xanthip-
pes possession of the highest domestic vir-
tues, and also that he entertained for her
sincere regard.and respect.
CICERo's MATRIMONIAL AFFAIRs
Terentia, the wife of Cicero, was q
woman of talent and intelligence. She had
not been trained to be meek and submis-
siye and confine her mind and powers to her
house alone, but had her own ambitions,
and, as Cicero himself relates, "she took a
greater part with him in politics than she
Permitted him to have in domestic affairs I"
With her he secured a large fortune. Upon
IlllS ue llNeo cOLulOEtdDly lOr IudHy years az
his handsome country seats, and enjoyed
the society of philosophers and men of
letters. Finally he went into politics and
poetry. That he had not been trained to
be a good husband-true and faithful to his
marriage VOWS to love, honor and cherish
his wife until death should them part-his
after life shows, since when, after
so years of her companionship, he
divorced Terentia and married his young
ward by whom he secured another great for
tune. He based this despicable action upon
the score of his wife's temper, extravaganza
and neglect. But since he had endured
these without complaint for 80 years or
more, it can hardly be thought that he had
great reason for such an extreme measure.
All of his charges were denied by Terentia,
and that Cicero himself was to blame is
shown by his marriage shortly after to Sc
repudiated his wife with whom he had
grown old'-a blot upon his character
which his most arden. admirers have never
been able to whitewash.
THE CASE OF DICKENS.
But it is not necessary to go back to the
ancients for examples. Charles Dickens in
these modern days is shown to be almost
another Cicero. His friends apologize for
him upon the ground of the irritability of
the literary temperament, of the sensitive
ness of Dickens, and his intolerance of the
dullness and Incidence that grow, as Ed
mund Yates puts it, upon the middle-aged
mothers of large families, but the truth Of
the matter seems to have been that he had
not been trained to be good husband, and
to a knowledge and understanding of his
responsibility in maintaining the happiest
conditions of domestic life. Dickens had
his faults, as have all men and women, but
common sense and regard for the mother of
his children should have prevented the pub