The Saline County journal., 1891-06-18

He sed be didn't mean 10 abOose the
clergy. Not at all. and he was happy to
see that was interested in the BOnypart
family
Its a crate family" sed I. But
they scooped the old man in"
How. Sir!-
Napoleon the G-and. The Britishez
scooped him at Waterloo. He wanted
TO do too much, and he did it! They
scOOped him in at Waterloo. and he
subsekently died at St Heleny! There's
where the gratest military man this
world ever produced pegged out. II was
rather hard to cOnsine such a man "a
him tO st. Heleny. TO spend his lsrst
days in catchin mackeril, and walkin up
and down the dreary beach in n military
cloak drawn titely round him, (see pict-
er-I,loks), but 80 it was. He'd Of the
Army Them was his larst words. So
he hal hin. fIe was CRATE! Don't l
wish we had n pair Of his old boots 10
command sum Of our Brigades!"
This pleased jerome, and he took me
waeiily 10y the hand.
Alexander the Crate was punkins,"
cuntiuner-d, but Napoleon was punkin-
ser! Alic wept becaws there was no
more worlds 20 scoop. and then took to
drinkin. He druwnli1 his sOrrers in the
flOwin bOle. and the flDwin bOle was too
much for him. 1t ginerallyis. He under
took Ia give a snake exhibition in his
boots. Int il killed him. That was a
bad joke on AlicT'
"Since Won air 50 snlicitous about
France and the Emperor. may ask you
how your own country is getting alOngY-
sed JerUme, in n pleasant voice.
"It's mixel, sed. But think we
shall cum ont all right"
''ColuInbus. when he diskiyered this
magnificent continent, could hav hRd no
idee Of the grandeur il would one day
assDnm.' sed the Prints.
1T cDst Columbus twenty thousand
dollars tn fit ont his explurin expedition
sed |. IF he had bin n sensible man
he'd have put the money in a hoss rail-
road or a gas company. and left tins
magnificent continent 10 intelligent saw
agts. who when they get hold Of n good
thing knew enufT 90 keep it. and who
wouldn't have seceled. nor rebelled, nor
knOCkt Liberty in the he'd with n slung-
shot. Columbus wasn't much of a feller,
after all. Il would hav bin money in
my pocket IL he'd staid at home. Chris
ment well, hut he put his foot in 1t when
he sailed for America"
We talked sum more about matters
and things, and at larst riZ 10 20. Il
will now say good bye TO you. noble sir,
and good luck to yOu. Likewise the
same To Clotildy. Also to the gorgeous
persons which compose your SCOT. II
the Emperur's boy don't like livin at the
TOoleries, when he gifts older. and would
like To imhark in the show biZniss, let
him come with me and I'll make a man
of him. YOu find US sumwhat mixed,
as before obsarved. hut come again
next year and You'll find rs clearer nor
ever. The American Eagle has lived too
Of late-his stummic be-
cum foul. and he's takin a site emetic.
That's all. We're gettin ready to strike
a big blow and a sure one. When we
do strike the fur will fly and secession
will be in the hands Of the undertaken,
sheeted for 50 deep n grave that nuthin
short Of Gabriel's trombone will ever
awaken il! Mind what say. You've |
heartl the showmanI-
Then advisin him 70 keep away from |
the Peter Funk auctions Of the East, and |
the prnprietOrs Of corner-lOts in the |
West, l bid him farewell and went |
away.
There was a levee at Senator What's |
and thOught I'd jine in the /
festivities for a spell Who should see
but she that was Sarah Watkins, now
the wife Of our Cungresser. trippin in the
dance. dressed up TO kill In her store
close. Sarah's father used to keep little
grusery store in Our town and she used
IN clerk IL for him in busy times. was
rushin up 10 shake hands with her when
the turned on her heel. and tossin her
ned in a contemptoOius manner. walked
away from me very rapid. Halo. SAL
hollered, cant you measure me q
Iuart Of them best melasses2 I may
want n Goldfish, also guess this re-
minded her uf the little rel store. and
the days Of her happy childhood
But fell in with n nice little gal after
hat. who was much sweeter than Sally's
ather's melasses. and aNed her IL we
houldn't glide in the messy dance. She
ed we should. and we Glode.
intended to make this letter very
eris, bUt few goaks may have accident
lily crppt in. Never mind. Besides.
hink IL improves a kumick paper to pub
ish q guak once in a while. Yours
duchly. WARD (Artemusl.