Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1891-11-19
AsrE AND SCISSORS.

mic lunches. - Boston Netos.
The forger is always careful to get a
good namc-BinghdH'ton Republican.
A tack points heavenward when II
megus tho most mischief. II has many
human imitators. 7e5as SglhIgs.
Caller - "Is Mrs. Brcwuston at
homer Servant-"Yes'm She'll be
ut home all the evenin'. It's my night
out."-M Y Weekly.
He treated her shamofully." did
she get n divorcePn Mo- why
notP" "She wanted to get even with
him. Brooklyn Life.
Stranger-"IIere officer. | want to
give myself up. I'm bank robber
aud forxer." Policeman very suspi-
ciously)-'Kin yez provo it"-WdSh-
indtOn Star.
Woman-"Have you no trade, no
means OF ear Ling a liyingfn Hungry
higgins I'm a printer" Printer,
ehP" "Yos'm. Foot-prluter. Sec''
indianapolis Journal.
Author-"Tho people always judge
rightly. and | leave my book to the
public" Critic-"Yes, my dear fel-
low. but il is not Judge you need 90
much as an advocate. .n-PUck.
Dick Cat seaside hoteD where Is
Harry2 We can't go without Harry"
Tom-"lie is up in his room writing
to his father" Dick-"Then never
mind him; he must bc broke. e."--Pack.
There Is nothing new under the
.,,. " -or,a,l-aI Solomon IN ras
there is" said tho milliner's collector,
as he came up with the bill, "and your
wife is wearing it."- Washington Star.
The plumber has foil realization Of
the meaning of tho word retribution
when amer staying week Mt a sum-
mer resort hotel he looks over the
items of the landlords bill.-M T.
Press.
He-"Do you think they have been
married long?n Noon their
honeymoon. | guess. She is trying
to appear economical and he Is trying
equally hard to appear generously
T. Herald.
College Pres't.--"All tho boys have
attended prayers regularly this week. "
ProfesSor-"Not one has missed for
two weeks" President - 'Humphl
Some Internal mischief is brewing. -
Good NeDs.
Hello. is this the brewery2n shout
ed the tough young mau over the tele-
phnue. mo- came tho answer
Browns undertaking shop 20,
excuse me, I'll see you later.'-BuJ-
taio Enquirer.
"Marrla. you've got to take the baby
now, I'm tired" You've only had
him an hour. George Il know hAti
but I've fastened my pedometer to him,
and I've trotted him iiity-three miles
That's enough."-Harper'S Bdzar.
Did you hear that Banker Meyer
has failed? The one whose daughter
| has Just married the count? He's ut.
terly ruined You don't sayl Wont
| the count be astonishcd when he finds
he has married Miss Meyer for loye?'
-FliegeHde Blaettsr
The new minister was from the city,
and he was trying to make friends
with the farmers cows. Said he;
They don't seem to like me-" That's
strange" said the farmer; Il never
saw cattle that did not like green
pastor. ."--Pittsburg Chronicle.
Watts-"I believe there is something
in the theory OF people being disin'
clined TO marry those OF similar char
acter." Potts why surel You
never find grass widow wasting heI
time on an ideal man Of straw. dc
you3'-IHdianapo!is Journal
~ hope my visits are not disagree
able to you he said. "Not at all.
she politely answered. Il have some.
times thought that | wearied you. "
"Oh. no. No matter how gloomy l
feel when you call. am always happy
when you go."-M y Press.
Crusty Bachelor (after a silent half.
hour OF piano agony)-"'Miss Florella,
/ should think you would hate TO be
so far behind the styles Florella
(getting rcd) Why. / saw 10 some
fashion paper that now short bang
were ali the rage. baltimore ADieTt
can.
Strollaway-"Do you remember Mis-
Doyey? I'll never forget how you anC
she were in love with each other How
she used TO call you pet names ant
you-well. / suppose It's all over now
No more sweetness between you. ehP
StayathOme mo; all oyerl" "Bl
the way. whom did she marry7" Mel
boston NetOs.
Docs yer like 'stronomyP" the bel
ligerent young man inquired as b.
walked up to one of bis fellow work
men. "Nawsir; whadjer ask forP
Case. I'm gwineter glib yer some le'
sons.n Yer amp ''Yas, | am; wi
mer arm fur telescope an mer iii
foh er eyepiece. Yer kin now &
ready ter SEQ stahs." - WashiHgto
Star.
A Woodworking woman was asked
"Madam. are you a woman suffraglstg
time to be-" Haven't timer Vel
II you had the privilege Of voting
whom would you support" "Th
same man have supported for III
last ten years. "And who Is thntP
"My husband. "--LiHeol1 (Neb. } Joai
nal.
She had yawned six times. looked q
the clock four times, and pretended I
be half asleep three times but Nh
Young editor who was calling upo
her was so much 10 love that he di
not observe these manifestations 0
weariness. At length she said; "Mos
newspapers have notices. haven
theyp "Some have" HAS your
onepn Yes" what Is itp" ''W
are here 10 stay" Il could hay,
sworn Il was something Of that kind.
she said With A sIRb andthe silence wa
resumed. rssa