The Portland daily press., 1891-04-17
leak and WeebIe."

A friend Of mine had an odd way Of mixing
her words. Perfectly unconscious Of It., she
would often make folks laugh. She would speak
OF feeling 'feak and weeble" for weak and feeble,
and "castor i'll polls" for castor oilpills. But she
took that powerful, invigorating tonic, "Favorite
Prescription" which SO wonderfully imparts
strength to the whole system, and to the womb,
and its appendages in particular. For over
worked women run down women, and feeble
women generally, DR.. Pierce's Fayorite FIRE.
scrlption is unequaled. 1t is invaluable, In allay-
ing and subduing nervous excltabiity irrtability,
exhaustion prostration, hysteria, spasms and
other distressing, nervous symptoms, commonly
attendant upon functional and organic disease.
1t Induces refreshing sleep and relieves mental
anxiety and dependency.
A Subtle Distinction.
Mr.. Stout-That was very small piece OF roast
beef you brought me. ordered an extra large
cut
Waiter-Dat was de large size, sar.
Mr.. Stout-What's the difference then?
Waiter-When gent'man orders de extra cut
sar de cook puts 1t on a big plate, an cnarges
you sixty cents instead OBJ forty, sar-Smltn,
Gray & Co.'s Monthly.
Battle freely with Johnson's Anodyne Liniment,
then rub hard night and morning, for pleurisy.
Selfish Girl.
Daughter-Mother, can't go over 10 my lirienu
Clara's and stay tonight?
Mother-Indeed you sha'n't. / heard that
young Fred Falsetto tell you the college Glse
club was to come here and serenade you tonignt y
ana you needn't think Pm going TO stay mere anu
suffer alone.-Life.
Read all the advertisements Of spring medicines
and then take Ayers sarsaparilla.
And So 1t Goes On.
Kaiser Wilhemn III lat st. Petersburg, to Gar
Alexander IIn-My beloved brotherl peace is
forever assured
Kaiser wilhelm III ION his return to Berlin, to
his minister of war)-Buy another hundred
Thousand of those improved rifles and fifty tons Of
smokeless powder.-Epocn.
no not suffer from sick headache
uoment longer. 1t is not necessary. Carriers
little Liver Pills will cure you. Dose, one little
Mill. Small price. Small dose. Small pill.
SHOW is your Mr.. McWatty?" asked one board
ing house keeper of another, speaking of board
er who had been ailing.
"Oh, he has quite lost his appetite" replied
M anear me, how fortunate YOU always are with
your young menl'-Epoch.
Why wear out with coughing, at night, when
Ayers Cherry Pectoral will relieve and cure?
And worked Up.
"You know the wealthy and cultured Mr.
SINNER don't your"
YES; he commenced life as boothlack."
"Ahl see: began at the f0ot."-Puck.
More cases Of sick headache, bilious
ness. constipation. can be cured in less time with
less medicine, and for less money, by using
Carriers Little Liver Pills, than by any other
means.
The Force of Circumstances.
Mrs. Peterby-Can you washP
Matilda Snowball-0b course kin wash N Il
has ter be.
Mrs Peterby-Can you cook2
Matilda Snowball-lf 1t has ter be. oh course
kin cook.
Matilda Snowball-You bet Pse honest II has
ter be.-Texas Siftings.
Instant relief for Group, by using .Jobnson'.
Anodyne Liniment internal as well as external.
The Passing Of Bornrich.
Returned Tourist-What has become Of Born
rich? He was prince of good fellows Every
body liked him. SO genial and generousl
Resident-Oh, he's got to be a regular nuisance
Here he comes now. Let us dodge into this allie,
way. 80
Weekly.