The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1891-04-23
TYPES OF dogs
WE MEET WITH IN TIE
HUMAN FAMILY.
A Clever Bit of Satire by Preacher.

REV. r. E. Peele, in Biblical Recorder. ]
When the Master warns us of men
and dogs in one breath, it is evident
that he refers to "men-dogs," or, as
we sometimes say, "two-legged dogs"
We will now proceed to call the
dogs, with the understanding that no
one is expected to come unless called.
I. The boU-a0ozO dog, whom to name
is to know. This is the noisy, self
important, pompous, big-I-little-you
brother, who is such terror to de-
fenseless women and children; also a
mortal dread to towards and scary
people, but he won't bite. Indeed, his
only object is to frighten, and SO carry
his point, and his success is marvellous
for a while. He is the same old ami
NAL in brand d-new lion skin.
2. The cur, which is the no count,
good-ior- nothing brother; weak, rather
than mean, to be sure; but nevertheless
mean in his weakness. He is the tool
or cats-paw of every devil in the COM
munity. He is like jug in which
everybody spits and nobody cleans, and
very easily turned over.
3. The gyozvler. Here you have
the objecting, complaining, cross
grained, fault-inding brother, that
gives everybody the cramp collie and
lock jaw whenever he opens his mouth.
The day of his death is the only one to
which the world welcomes him, and
this is clouded with a bitter thought of
tomorrow.
q. The flee. And to name this
brother is to hear him bark, for which
end he seems to have been born. This
is the obtruding, meddlesome, busy
body little fellow, whose delight is to
set other dogs fighting and then slide
out.
S. The sna,ling dog, that turns up
his nose at all other dogs except his
like minded companions. He wears
smear, and has the appearance Of
smelling a bad odor, which he mistak-
ingly supposes to arise from his neigh
Dor.
6. The snabping dog. That is the
irritable, touching, ,back-up-like'a-mad-
cat brother, who thinks everything bad
is meant for him, because everything
mean fits him, and he fears that every
body sees it as he feels it.
7. The sneaking dog. In other
words, the fattering, soldering, grin
ming, "thank- God I'm humble" broth
era veritable wolf with enough wool
on him to start factory. Don't trust
the man that wears grin.
8. The poodle. This species is
mostly feminine, sometimes neuter,
belongs to the ragged end of the dude
family, and finally spins out. She is
quite fond of other dogs that will
notice her, and IS not at all choice, as
all dogs are alike to her. She is more
clothes than dog, and quite dangerous,
as she is liable to run mad.
9. Tile mad-dog. Lastly, we shall
notice the mad-dog, to become whi ch
all the others are liable, because it is a
disease, and while inherited, the great
est danger is from contagion; for those
affected have mania to give it to
others. 1t is very distressing COM
plant, and almost invariably fatal.
The afflicted are first taken with a run
ming at the mouth, (Which gradually
grows worse in quality and quantity,
from which it takes its name hydro.
phobia. 1t is communicated by the
bite, and usually from behind, hence
it Is sometimes called back-biting, fol
short.
1t is said dog won't eat dog, bu,
this sort eats his fellows. Canibalism
is not confined to Africa, nor the
flesh.
To ignore some of the above is to
kill them, while for others we need
a club.
There are several other dogs o.
which we would like to speak, viz
the bulldog, or whiskey fellow, who
is very vicious, and. never lets 60 till
choked off; the Office dog, or politician
who is always at his place, but to feed
not to serve; and the lap-dog, whose
name is enough.