Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-10-03
CT CONGRATULATE YOU" SAID A

- writer for The STAR to a young man
whom he met on the street last week.
Congratulate me? How?'
81 hear you are engaged
NO. I'm not"
"Why, that's strange. Somebody told me
you had owned the soft impeachment"
That's just the trouble" said he 81 don't
consider it soft impeachment Shall tell
you about iR Well. l very nearly was engaged
but 1 went away few days ago, and coming
back met q number of families returning to
Washington from their summer country resi-
dences. 1t was about o'clock in the evening.
The weather was hot and the railroad car was
crowded. The connubial trials that saw on
that car were too many for me, SO just backed
out in time from my engagement, and behold
l am still a free man. l know have lost
good deal. but at the same time think have
escaped good deal more
WHEN A JOURNEY Is prsAoaEEABLH
This young man is selfish, there is no doubt,
but it cannot be denied that journey under
taken with three or four tired, crying children,
canary bird, globe with gold fish in it, a
Hover pot. velocipede. a lunch basket, a
dozen or SO umbrellas, several grip sacks. a
nurse or two. six newspaper bundles without
handles. pussy cat in basket. beside a score
that bachelor seeing party OF this kind on a
railroad car congratulates himself upon his
lonely condition and doesn't relish being con-
graduated upon prospective change Of his
condition.
RAILROAD sELFIsHNHss
The railroad car is great place for
manifestations of selishness anyhow First of
all there are those individuals who persist in
occupying an entire seat no matter how
crowded the car may be. They stretch them
selves and spread themselves and will continue
to do so while woman stands up. Nothing
will make these wretches move except a severe
threat from the Conductor. Even then they
grumble and growl. Sometimes they put a sat
chel alongside of them and sometimes they
serenely inform a passenger who is about to
take the vacant seat that ii is engaged, thereby
showing that they are not only capable Of great
meanness, but OF perjury as well.
Won't You please move up?" said a gentle
man on his way home to Washington to one of
these individuals the other day.
mol! growled the man. You can take
some other seat.
'But want this ONE
well, you can't have it."
The Washingtonian didn't take another seat.
nor did he call the conductor, but being rather
quick of temper he seized the selfish man who
jerked him into the aisle.
NOW, he said, ''go and find another seat
yourself or I'll throw you off the platform"
and be looked quite capable Of doing it.
WOMAN WHO SPREAD.
Everybody in the car expected q lively set-to.
but O mean man is apt to be Q cowardly one.
and this fellow SUNK away into another car.
But when it is a woman that keeps a whole seat
to herself it is a difficult thing to do anything
with her. The writer saw an instance of this
recently. She was por:ly. not to say rotund,
and in the ordinary course of nature required
more room than the usual man, but she was
perfectly able to compress herself within a
reasonable area, if she chose to do SO. On the
contrary she preferred to spread. She kept
her seat until there were two people in every
other seat in the car and several men standing
up. When the train was pretty near Washing
ton another portly woman boarded it. She
took rapid glance over the field and made
directly for the only vacant space. The men
in the car looked on, for there was now going
to be an interesting encounter between Greek
and Greek. The portly female who had Just
got ON smiled upon the portly woman who had
spread over the seat
Il guess I'll sit here" said the one.
II guess you won't do any such a thing"
said the other.
Il won't, won't II You'll see il I won't"
and down she sat half on the seat and half on
the other woman's lap.
That lively "scrspping" match was about
to ensae seemed more than probable. One
idh VII VIC YAK aheEeu tut pair 10 hllfoln and
Sullivan and offered to take odds in favor Of
the original occupant of the seat, saying he
thought her more solidly built than her ad-
versary. Nevertheless, as matters stood, the
new conner was on top.
Call the conductor and have this old woman
taken away" cried both the ladies' in o breath.
HOW II ENDED.
The conductor was called and the combat
ants improved the interval before his arrival
by shrill abuse Of one another. When the con-
ductor came no scratches had a. yet been in
ficted. He was polite man, q most con.
ductors are, and he came upon the scene
decorously, but with dcserminatioa IN his eve
To the lady who was being sat on he explained
that, as she only had one ticket, she was not
entitled to occupy the space which two people
might SIT in, and that the coupany's rules re-
quired her to move W..
'Soppose I've got two tickets, Mr.. Con-
ductor, what them" she said defantiy.
Why, suppose, madam, you would have .
right to both seats."
We'll, then, just look here. I've kept that
second ticket but II this old woman i going
to share my seat IN give il mp" and she
produced o second ticket
OF course she triumphed. Her late antago-
mist was led away in . fearful condition and
given seat in another car, and the conductor,
ss he took her ticket declared that il IVES the
FIRST case he had ever known Of one perDoa
being provided with two tcketsL
HUMAN NKrURR on A nAu1oAn ma