The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-18

/ Of which was also thlckiy studded with
diamonds. The young woman who wore
this frock gave one the curious impression
| Of being some sort Of a crawling creature
not exactly the serpent, for she hadn't the
colors for that, but il she might be first
| cousin TO a bat and her wings were lost.
! Looked at from the fashionable standpoint
IL was a thoroughly smart get-uD and had
an air Of individuality that. while IL was
marked, WAS not aggressive. That's the
secret Of good dressing, TO be individual
without being bizarre.
THE wREATHs OF OUR GRANDMOTHER
Among the old fashions coming in, bru-
nettss who are wearing their hair low stick
a large white rose or a white camellia in
l one side, and women whose faces are young
enough to wear the wreath OF roses that our
/ grandmothers used to ST. z about. A wreath,
however, is a dangerous thing to wear, II
u gets little t. one side, you have the most
absolutely depraved air imaginable. and
nothing ever struck me as quite so funny as
a Roa an senator on the stage whofe wreath
had gotten little of, and who had great
air Of wishing TO paint the town red instead
/ Of liking to drink mock wine out OF PROP
| erty goblets. On Decoration day they in
variably put a wreath on George Washing
| ton; IL invariably slips to one side, and then
George looks as If he was out on a terrible
| tear. You can believe any of the little
stories you have heard about the father of
| your country. and you can feel that If he
couldn't tell lie the chances were that
there were lots Of other gay things he could
do. So In putting on your wreath see that
it is arranged in strictly Vere-de- We're
| fashion.
THE AFFABLE WOMAN.
Somebody has been writing long article
about the Gffable woman. Now, if there is
one woman on the face of the earth who is
to be despised with a seventeenth century
hatred, she is the one. She makes you feel
while she is talking TO you that she IL being
so nice and agreeable, and SO altogether
charming and that she is sure you appre-
ciate 1t, that you feel as IL you would be
willing to be blown up yourself If a can Of
dynamite was standing near that could ex-
tinguish her. The affable woman is as far
from the agreeable woman as one pole is TO
the other, and the affable woman has the
effect Of the north pole upon You.
She is SO intensely pleasant that You
freeze and freeze until you don't
know whether you are lamp post or a
woman. The agreeable woman is simply
natural woman with tact. The affable
woman is one who is neither agreeable nor
has tact, but wants to impress you with her
affability; but if you have any sense at all,
refuse to be impressed and be as abominable
as you can-remind her how her dressmaker
has gone off in her fit, how the wrinkles are
beginning to show on her face--do anything
In short, that will extinguish the affability,
for then you will be serving your fellow
man. She is the sort of woman who
parades all around, dragging people
up to other people on the plea that
they ought to know each other: now,
most Of us who ought TO know people
usually manage TO make our desire known
to some one we think proper, and no man,
woman or ghost wants to be hauled around
by the affahle woman because she thinks
she is doing her duty and forming society.
She is enough to make anybody turn her
nit. She is SO interested in your affairs
that she forgets sometimes and asks very
impertinent questions; usually her victims
are so impressed by her manner that they
answer before they know what they are
about, and then when they get home they
have to spend all their money to get mes
senger boy to swear for them because of
their truth-telling. An affable woman once
asked me
HOW MUCH MADE WEEK.
and was so used to telling the truth that
gave myself away; and though FIVE years
have gone by since that time, / am still pay
ing messenger boys so much a year for
shying wicked words for me, and inducing
all the men j know, especially these who
belong to the artistic and bohemian frater-
nifty, 10 devoting five minutes a day to ex-
pressing themselves IN highly cOlOred
manner. As you live, beware of the affable
woman; when you are dead it doesn't much
matter, though she is pretty certain to come
to your funeral and do the affable act at
that. One of them once shook hands over
the coffin Of dead man, she was so glad to
see another womanl
PEOPLE BEST TO AVOID.
There are other people to beware of as
well as the affable woman.
Beware of the man who wants to kiss
you because he knew your mother before
she was married.
Beware Of the woman who wants to use
your name at the dTeSsmaker's.
Beware of the man who works hard ten
days, is in an i'll temper ali the time, and
only amiabe when he is lazy.
Beware of the children who know more
than their fathers and mothers.
Beware of the books that are nasty and
stupid.
Beware Of the people who tell the truth
at all times, because the truth is like a
sweet mutt Is sometimes better covered
with sugar and put away in n bon-bon
box; then let some man with lantern 90
around looking for it. 1t gives the men
something to do, and preserves the truth.
Beware of the people who are ready and
willing to do everything for you-they are
usually the ones who wouldn't walk from
here to the corner to oblige you, and who
will regard you as a material doormat on
which to throw off the dust of their shoes
Beware of the dog that never barks-he is
going to bite some day, and when he does it
Will hurt. Bah.