Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-05-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A trunk line-stHandle with care"
Round to fill drunkard's grave-The
sexton.--Puck.
The man who deems his house his cas-
tie has the moat in his eye.
One of the greatest of home comforts
is the shirt which isn't made at home
Puck.
If YOU want to flatter man, tell him
he can't be fattered. .-Phitadelphsa
Times.
stroke of misfortune-The one we
have all along been using against faie.
-Harpard Lampooa.
The fact that riches have wings may
be the reason that they enable a man to
tfiy high. y Washington Post.
The colleges are not quite gone daft
over athletics. They are still in posses
sion of their faculties. s.-Puch.
There is nothing man enjoys more
than complaining of his great response
bilities. s.-Ind;anapol Journal.
SIS your teacher big mani" "Strap-
pin'." murmured Johnny, as he uncon-
sciously felt of the sore spot. .-Haroard
. LGaps0n.
Judge-"What do you do during the
weekG', Tramp-"Nothing." "And
on SundayG" .'Then l take day off"
Teas Siftings.
Teacher-"How would you describe
Henry VIII. of EnglandF Student
ssI would describe him as professional
| ..,;loua Hyrnsr'e Rds1J
Before you start out to attain a seat on
the highest pinnacle of fame bear IN
mind that it runs up to a pretty sharp
point. .-Ledianapolis journal.
The men who do not agree on any pos
sible points of doubt are the ones that
seem to find the most pleasure in each
others society. - Washington Post.
Along the shore the city girl
Will soon be making freckles,
And to the hotel her papa
Will ante up the shekels.
Cloak Rerfe,a.
"Some people," said clever observert
speaking of an oversensitive friend tb1
other day, ''leave their feelings lying
around for other people to step on."-
Boston Traoeller.
They were talking about trees. "My
favorite," she said, sis the oak. 1t is
so noble so magnificent in its strength.
But what is your favorite2" 'Yew," he
replied. .-Pitts6urg Dispatch.
There is man in Atchison who is
always good and kind and thoughtful
of Others, but he never gets any credit
for it. He is so homely that people seem
to expect goodness of him.-Atchison
(Kan.) Globe.
How hard it is to believe man after
we have been lying to him ourselves. 1t
has sometimes happened that an habitu-
ally untruthful man has kept up ms
reputation after death by lying in state.
-Teras Sytings.
Metamorphosis: An eminent surgeon
SAYS that with four cuts and few stitches
he can alter a mans face so his own
mother would not know him. Any news
paper can do that with only one cut
Cleoeland Plain Dealer.
"Clara became old almost in moment
the other night" s'Nonsensem ''No
at all. She was sitting in the parlol
with her young man when her father en-
' tered. Her youth departed immedi
ately. ."-Ne,o Yors Sun.
, Like womanm "Like manr'
But discriminate, who can?
Let's to truth all homage render.
Own, if we would be precise,
< Every weakness, every wee
r Ali are of one common gender.
Puck.
/ What did the lawyer say to you
: Bridget" "He axed me did know
there was brass enough in me face t
make a good d-slzed kettle, and told him
e shure, thin there was sauce enough II
\ his tongue to fill it, the ould haythen.
q Chicago Nescs.
y "For all we know there really may b.
. a man in the moon," said the leathe
e drummer. .'There is" said the hard
L ware drummer, who was still indignan
e over having been sent to the top floor
c 81 leaned out of my window and ha'
G quite talk with him last night. In