Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-04-03
IT DIDN'T WORK.
He Had % blood Purifier, but Found No
Customers.

Customers.
A dilapi1ated LOOKING old man, who
was chewing sassafras root with great
energy, suddenly appeared In the
waiting room of the Erie depot across
the river, and as he approached man
who was waiting for a western train he
pulled a bottle of liquid from an old
satchel in his hand and said
My friend, you are looking yaller
about the eyes, which Is sure sign
your blood is in bad state. One
bottle Of my blood purifier will restore
you to health and vigor.'
Don't want it, sir." was the curt
reply.
IAN right, mister all right. II a
Teller wants to keep on looking yaller
about the eyes when a pannycea is at
hand, that's his own business. Long
bout the middle of April you'll be on
your back with a spell OF bilious fever,
but you needn't lay it up agin me"
The next persol approached was
severe looking woman, about 30 years
of age, who was probably an old maid.
Them yaller streaks at the corner
ma am" said the man as he gave the
bottle snake. 'Sunthin' right here
to improve your looks fifty per cent. in
two weeks
"Sir!" she demanded in icy tones.
Only fifty cents u bottle, ma'am.
and made right in my own house, from
herbs and roots gathered by my own
hand. just opened the spring cam
paign and the price is only fifty cents
bottle.
"Go away, sir.' she commanded,
loudly.
Don't want any, eh?"
NO sir!''
IAN right, madam-all right. Tor
pid liver may be good thing to have
about the house, but ! don't think so.
Here's your pannycea, and if you don't
want it | can't compel you TO buy It.
The third person was man with a
marked redness of nose and rough
spots on his face. He was busy with
a newspaper when the old man APP
preached and said:
"One bottle will cure that nose, or
money refunded"
What! What's that?" demanded
the man.
And the second bottle will cause
every rough spot to disappear, though
it would be safer for you to take a
third. Three bottles for a 1925 or 80
cents for single bottle. | war"
Look a here. you old reprobate!
What are you driving at?" exclaimed
the patient as he stood up.
II am selling blood purifier, made
Of roots and herbs. It's little early,
perhaps, but i want TO get the start OF
the buckwheat scratchers. Are you q
drinking man."
DO you mean TO insult me TO my
face, sir? Why, III punch your head
for cent
Wouldn't do no good. mister.
Here's the only genuine blood purifier
in market, and last year sold 1000
bottles of it. 1t invigorates the liver,
tones up the blood, and if | can't cure
that nose Of yours don't want cent"
III purify you, you old assassin"
shouted the man; and he was peeling
off his overcoat to do it when the de-
DOJ pO4ICCllliu up bOlu VIC
old man he must 60 out.
And not sell bottle of my blood
purifier in this crowd?" He asked.
Come, out you 60.
And you don't want bottle for
yourself? You've got jandice look, and
this ere stuff will knock the jandice
into cooked hat in just five doses"
He was led out and told not TO re-
enter the depot, but he stood at the
door and said TO the policeman through
the glass window:
"All right, officer all right Ii the
people don't want my blood purifier
they needn't have it. It's the season
of purity, but never go agin the law;
and if there's rampage of bilious
fever next spring don't say | wasn't
around with my pannycea at regular
price"