davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23


vomanhood, every young girl needs
the wisest care. Troubles beginning
then may make her whole life mis-
cradle.
But the troubles that are to be
feared have a positive remedy. DIR.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription builds
up and strengthens the system, and
regulates and promotes every proper
function. It's a generous, support
ing tonic, and a quieting, soothing
nervine "A legitimate medicine, not
a beverage, free from alcohol and
injurious drugs. 1t corrects and
cures, safely and surely, all those
delicate arrangements, weaknesses,
and diseases peculiar TO the sex.
A remedy that does cure is one
that can be guaranteed. That's
what the proprietors of "Favorite
Prescription think. If it doesn't
give satisfaction, in every case for
which it's recommended, they'll re-
fund the money. No other medicine
for women is sold on such terms.
Decide for yourself whether some
thing else sold by the dealer, is
likely to be "just as good " for
you to buy.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
A POOR MARKET.

Plays Were Quoted at Very Low Figures.
A man with his trousers in his boot
tops and whip in his hand called at
the box of one of the Detroit theaters
the other day, and after fumbling about
his pockets for awhile, brought out
about dozen sheets of foolscap pinned
together and said:
Here's play my daughter has writ
and composed all by herself. What are
you paying this spring."
1.-The price is way down." replied the
courteous attendant
TOO many in the market, / sup
nose?''
That's it."
''Wall, this is stopper of play and
no mistake Four murders in it, and
no end of love and banging around"
II see, but don't think we could use
it."
House gets afire, and the heroine
puts it out with cider" continued the
man. Work in cider and fire and you
are sure TO hit rybody. Il suggested
the cider myself"
eyes, but as told you, the price is
way, way down.
Il expect SO. How much'n We
give?"
II am ashamed to make you an
offer
''Poohl Don't be afeared of hurtin'
my feelins! Jest go right ahead and
say what yen give"
well, sir, plays are such drug in
the market that l couldn't offer you
over-over twenty-five cents-really
couldn't do it
''Twenty-five?"
''Only twenty-five"
Gimme the money-she's yours"'
said the man, as he handed il in; and
after swallow ing the lump in his throat
and turning about forty different col
ors, the official passed out a quarter
and took in the play and sadly dropped
1t in the waste basket Detroit Free
Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
VOICES LIKE FOonoRNS.
The Ear-splitting Bray of the Cairo Don.
key-His Charming Countenance.

The Ear-Splitting Bray of the Cairo DON
key-His Charming Countenance.
One has never known the full elo-
quenee of which the donkey is capable
till he has been in Cairo. The voice of
a Cairo donkey may be heard far above
all other sounds. And if but one of
them begins to bray it is sure to find
varied and sincere sympathy from every
quarter answering each other all
about tom, they seemed to me like
rival fcghorns of steamers making
their way cautiously in fog. Their
hee-haw never is anything but agoniz-
ing; in their case never does familiarity
breed contempt.
But aside from this little eccentricity
the donkey is in certain way win
some creature writes a traveller The
charm of its countenance is enduring.
j have never seen two with the same
expression. They always have a COM
Portable air of ania6ility, and some
times even an appearance of dapper
alertness of mind, which makes of any
one of them a very accessible sort of
person, whom you feel as If you would
like to know better. They have a re-
plains scores of Arabian tales of the
magical transform alton of men into
their semblance.
But this is true of all animals in
Egypt to an extent that can not be APP
preciated by any one who has not seen
them there. The eyes are human, from
yak and camel even to the untOlerated
dog. The Egyptians have always lived
so much more with the other animals
than we that very likely the beasts in
Egypt have taken on certain number
of human characteristics which forced
as they are in other countries to asso-
ciate only among themselves they have
not elsewhere assumed. But at present
this were to inquire too curiously.
At all events, / never ceased to be de-
lighted with the donkeys in Cairo, and
one animal only ever gave me greater
satisfaction. This was the Egyptian
goat The goats self-satisied air as he
hobs his Roman nose through the world
is constantly amusing. They seem to
feel that there is no one looking, that
the world was made for them and that
they know all there is to be known;
and you would not disillusionize them
for anything in the world, any more
than you would enlighten certain
friends of yours who are so blandly CON
tented with themselves.-N. Y. Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

A HOMEMADE DITcHER.

weight of this ditcher can be made to
correspond with the strength of your
team Either two, four or even six
horses can be worked to it. and the
weight can be increased or diminished
accordingly.
Plow the ground well where you
want your ditch, just as you would if
scraper was to be used. Follow the
plows with the ditcher, alternately,
until your ditch is of proper depth.
For shallow, open bitches this device
does the work more rapidly, a good
deal, than you can do it with scrapers.
Dick Naylor. in Farm and Fireside.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
Typewriters' Eyes.

Almost every typewriter sooner or
later has trouble with her eyes. The
typewriting machine Is supposed To
save the eyes. but the effect Is quite
the contrary. The ewes are all the
time in motion while writing. and the
rapid Jerk ing of the eve from one point
To another on the little keyboard soon
tires the muscles and makes the eyes
aud sometimes the whole head ache.
Then a great many girls have the habit
of turning up the carriage To see what
has been written. and leaning back in
the chair while reading il. This. too.
= bad, for the reason that IL requires
rapid adjustment of the eve To the diff
fercEt distances. and 80 tires the whole
organ The only way To save the ewes
when using a typewritiug machine is
u acquire sue facility that it is not
necessary 10 look at the keyboard, and
the eyes will be saved the thousands Of
little Jerks 10 and fro which do 50
much harm " Y. Wee ky.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
"Hot water for cows is the maxim

Hot water for cows" is the maxim
of the French dairy farmers in the de-
partment of Finisterre. They claim to
have proved by experiments that when
lows drink hot water they yield one
bird more milk than when they are re-
reshed with cold water only. The
proportions are 81 a to be half pail Of
polling water 10 half pail Of cold.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

THE artless young woman is the
latest style" remarked young Blocker
of New York.
"Awl" replied Lord Bilgewater, of
London; my impression is that the
'eartless young woman has been in style
evan since | can wemembah, doncher
know. - Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

"A Sick Mans Ordcr.-A Detroit
merchant who deals largely with COM
mcrcial travellers. has just recovered
from a serious Illness, during which he
was sometimes delirious. One day Is
his patient wife sat by his bedside he
opened his eyes and saw her. "You
here again" he said; have YOU filed
my order yet2- "What Order2' asked
his wife. willing TO humor him Didn't
give Won a big order for ice-water?
he asked; do you expect me 70 patron
ize your firm II you forget my orders?
lie got the ice-water- detroit Free
Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
Like a wounded snake

That drags its slow length along, GONZALES
cence after prostrating disease creeps on
Hasten il with the genial breeder Of health
and strength Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
Every function is regulated and rendered
active by the great enabling medicine d
gestion, bilious secretion, The action OF the
bowels and kidneys, purity and richness OF
the blood, immunity from malarlal attacks
all are insured bY 10.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
THE first glimpse of farmers home.

THE first glimpse of a farmers home
stead gives us an index to the character
of its inmates. No matter how plain
the dwelling. if it be adorned with
flowers, vines and blossoming shrubs,
we know that it is the abode of persons
of taste and true refinement Nor does
this necessitate any great expenditure
either of time or money.-C0un try
Gentleman
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

A drunken. worthless countryman
returning from a fair fell asleep by the
roadside. where pig found him. and
began To lick his mouth. Sawney roared
out: ''Wha's kissen me moo? You see
how il i 10 be weel liket among the
lasses. DemOrest's Monthly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

why are you so anxious to have
every one cultivate weeds?"
Because" said the scientific gar.
dener, Il am convinced that that is
the only way TO exterminate them ~
Puck
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

Lady Customer-Thatp pair of slippers
bought of you short time ago have
worn out
Clerk-Bad leather, ma'am?
"Ne; bad boy."-Jury.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

WHAT is called the Bordeaux mixture
is made by taking one gallon of water
and adding one-quarter of pound of
lime and the same of sulphur of cop
per.-Iowa Farmer and Breeder
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

Commend to public approval the California
liquid fruit remedy Syrup of Figs. II 10
pleasing to the eye, and to the taste and by
gently acting on the kidneys, liver and
bowels, it cleanses the system effectually,
thereby promoting the health and comfort
of all who use il.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
The Leading Story of the August
Wide Awake,


Wide Awake,
A delightful reminiscence of Lafayette's
last visit to America, is contributed by
Sarah o. Jewett; it is entitled Pegs
Little CHAIR" and has a full-page illus
tration by Garrett. THE Brides Bou-
quet" is a charming story of a good
deed, and 1.-The Silent Lie" is an admira-
BILE school story. "Pokeberry Juice
and Mullein," by Kate Epson Clark, is
a little tale that reveals some of the
funny toilet secrets of country girls
generation ago. ''Mr. Browns Play
fellow" by j. Loxley Rhees, "Shells of
Sea and Land" by Will NJ. Clemens,
"The Poppy Bee" by Mrs. Hall, and
"How to Dry Starfshes," by Louisa
Lyndon, are good short articles for the
lovers of natural history. "How the
Cossacks Play Polo is a terrible and
dramatic story of Russian field-sport
INDUCED in by officers of the Imperial
Guard; it is by NJ adame de Meissner OF
the Russian legation. What Seven
Indian Boys Did" is a true account of
some knowledge-loving Alaska boys,
by Francis c. Sparhawk. Margaret
sidney Peppers seIldl III ehIS nun
Der has all the interest of a good novel.
Miss Matilda Archambeau Van Dorm,
the serial by Miss Cummings, is full of
amusing developments. "Marietta's
Good Times" are really good times.
Men and Things" pages abound with
original anecdotes. The poems are by
Kate Putnam Osgood, Maria Johns
Hammond, Eli Shepherd, Jane Ellis
JOY and Richard Burton. Especially
good things for veranda reading are the
Margaret-P Patty Letter, by Mrs. Viii
liam Clafin, and the fine ballad by Mrs
Harriet Prescott Spofford, "Pope's
Mother at Twickenham."
Wide Awake is S2.4O year; 20 cents
a number. specimen back number)
will be sent on receipt of cents. d.
Lothrop Company, publishers, Boston
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
Making Literature.

She-Miss Grayson has somehow pro
duced the impression that she comes OF
a very literary family.
He-Well, l suppose you might look
at it that way. Her father Is walking
dialect story.-Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

HAVE no equal as a prompt and positive
cure for sick headache, biliOusness, consti-
patton, pain IN the side, and all liver trou-
bles Carter's Little Liver Pills. Try them
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

She -''You are always talking
about the fashions Now. honestly. do
you think YOU would know the latest
fashion in hats if You were 70 enter q
milliner's shop lie - Certainly =
She-''fIow?" He-ruefully- BY look
ing at the prices
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

TIE fellow vino lives on his wits must
frequently put up with poor "wittles -
Biughamton Republican
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

IT is strange, but IT is while woman Is
,tiIl young that she is most truly N her de-
cliuing vesrs.-N. " Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

THE diplomat who said that tale bearers
could not occupy high places never saw
monkey go for a cocOsnut tree. -ElInira Ga
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

MALE flirts are to be dealt with at water
ing places this summer. Let no Iilty man
eacana N q Picavune
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
Its Excellent Qualities

"PooR Jigsbyl He has lost his mind"
arm not surprised TO hear it. ! knew
long ago that his head was cracked. In
afauanola Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

A sALLow skin acquires a healthy clear
ness by the use OF Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, 30 cents
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

AMI one can take Carter's Little Liver
Pills, they are so very small No trouble 20
swallow. No pain or griping after taklng.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

Have you any burglar alarms in
your new house?- NO. Don't need
EN- When I've paid for the house
there won't be anything left tn attra CT
the burglars.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

The penny-in- the-sIOt machine IS great
in-ceatiye 70 the eAewiD g-gum industry.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

BEST, easiest to use and cheapest Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. BY druggists. 25c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
WHY THEY WERE LATE.
Engineers Tell of Peculiar Acct
dents That Befen The.l.

How a Terrific Kansas Cyclone FtIyed a
Mean Trick On an Ambition. Railroad
Man other Wonderful aud Al
most Incredible stories.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23

Woodbury., New Jersey, .. S. A
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-07-25

There Is = family in n certain Long Island
suburb who are endeavoring TO preserve a
calm philosophy over rather startling oc-
curr-nce. Friday night-;he night Of tho
sudden gsle-the gentleman was aroused
from slumber by the persistent barking Of
bis dog. lie got up and reconnoiters
from his window. saw nothing and heard
nothing suspicious. and telling his dog to
be quiet returned To bed and TO sleep.
Before he slept. however. he replied to
bis wife's question as 10 the time OF night
with the remark that 10 was probably
about i:3o, 81 the street lamps were very
low. The village. it may be explained, Is
lighted with lamps whose wick and oil are
graduated 10 burn a certain tame. and then
go out without the expense OF a human ex-
tinguisher, fact SO well understood that
= person Of any continued residence can
gauge the hour with considerable accuracy
from the condition Of the liGhts-
On arising the next morning the hus-
band was surprised to find his watch was
not going-it had stopped at precisely
twsnty-six minutes after one. He owns
two watches. silver and a gold one, and
he at once went to the gold one for the
time. That had stopped, 100, at precisely
twenty weight minutes past l. And then,
with an odd sensation. the man recalled
that the night before. in winding tho two
watches, he had noticed that the gold one
was two minutes faster than the silver
one. He decided he would not tell his
wife about this remarkable performance Of
his simepieces and continued his dressing.
She had preceded him below stairs, but be-
fore he was ready to leave his room she
called to him. He went to the balustsr to
hear her.
What time is It. please; the dining
room clock has stopped?" she asked.
AT what hour," he almost gasped.
"Twenty-six minutes after I O'Clock, :"
was the reply, which sent an uncanny chill
over him.
That is all there IL 20 It, however Weeks
have gone by and that Long Island COM
muter has not even missed his train; but
will some society Of psychology please ex-
plain, il it can, what set dog to barking
and stopped three well regulated and here
tofore continuous timepieces at precisely
the same momsntf for this story is alb
solutely accurate in every detail.-Her
Point Of View In New York Times.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-07-25
An Eosisn's Debut.

This seasons crop of Annapolis gradu-
ates has been neatly distributed about the
navy, and several of the luckiest young
stcrs have settled in the Brooklyn navy
yard.
One Of them was assigned to the Phila-
delphia, and one fine morning he was put
on duty as officer of the deck for one Of the
morning watches. II was hts first active
duty" and his chest expanded . full inch
as he buckled on his sword and marched
to the quarter deck. This was at 10 o'clock,
and his watch was till noon. In this trick
there il but one order to be given. That
comes Mt seven bells (half- past IL o'clock;
and to this effect: "Bosun's mate. Pipe
sweerers."
Tho yeungster had "boned" up on his
duties carefully. and struck a superb atti-
tude on the bridge as the seven strokes be-
gan clearing his throat TO give the regula-
ton nautical ring To his order. And to
make him especially careful he knew, al
though he could not see Thorn, that half
the ships company were hidden away some
where int<ntly watching his debut.
So as the seventh bell rang out on the
sultry air he sang out, in voice TO he heard
half way across the basin, "Booo-sun's
mater'
"Aye, aye. sirr' responded that function
ary, stumbling aft with his whistle In his
fingers.
"Swipe peppers"
The bostswain's mate endeavored 70
pucker for a whistle, but his lips divided
in q grin that made blowing impossible,
while a shout Of laughter came from all
along the deck.
mo, no." stammered the unfortunate
ensign. 81 mean Peep swipers.'"
The hostswsin's mate nearly fell into .
ft at this, and the screams OF laughter
from the OulOokers well nigh started the
cruiser from her nnoorings. Tho your gstsr
lost his head completely at this second dis
aster. and il took seven men to keep him
from jumping into the Fast river.
The whistle was finally sousded and the
sweeping trick was done, but Me youth
had his meals brought 10 him in bis berth
all that day, and spent hs months pay
.hs following twenty four hours in buying
the silence Of his eomr sdss.-New York
Herald
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-07-25

IL h gratifying TO observe that day by
day q greater pa kbc interest Is manifest in
the ubtsoe Of house decoration. The
manufacturer may care or care not for the
trivial gossip about tying . bow on u
china dog" or how best to treat cottage
window facing the SOUTH" but the mere
presence Of this staH In the daily press
twsddle though IL is-shows an effort To
cater 10 the rapidly expanding public taste
for THINGS decorative. fs's pity. however,
that this taste u net more logical: for many
a woman is signing today for whitswashcd
walls and pine tables, with only few rugs
on the floor and-a chair or two. simply be-
cause in her aimle-s groupings for the arts
tic she hss msde junk shop Of her rooms.
and accumulated labor that seems entiless
for tired hands IL Is pity that some
voios cannot go forth like thunderboit
and w.su folks 20 have definite object in
view when "sosss furnishing"
Oscar wilde made himself the butt and
rid.euje of che entire press Of this country
vhen be said. about eleven years ago. that
his highest smbitios in life was tn Five
CD 30 the sunfiower," but tse idea was full
Of sense.
II in furnishing one would take only a
Ttr HtN ~ ~ oafta ~ ~ac 7NhAC"h'
ings from its color combination. one wonld
make no mistake. for nature Is infsllible
In her ceiorings.
The great trouble though with this Dec
ora:iv. Column" business in the news
paper j. that 10 flls a woman's head With
loss Of dstails--and By she tine she has
Adopted few dsyen Suggestions" aud
picked up some pretty c-shioas" and
lovely scrap baskets" and delightful
sasels' ssa ''Jric-a-brsc" she has xut n
room that Is a hodge -pocige aud a terror to
the average servant.
In every apartment one motive should
ruis-repose, recreation, beauty or cheer
fulns~s. these sve prime integral qualities
which sho.id govern 4 room. and With the
definite locfecs Of an apartment once in
view, the< furnisher should unequivocally
Five an 20 II. - u phoissrr.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-07-25

wcoi~icA. ENGLAND. kas the largest A.
s<nAl IA the world
Ne Who sest knoss weaasn 70 .slaora
won4ns sesG freud
We kasS men ~hs are ssry pseas whsa-
ever God gets thsSa M tight place.
A Phsladslphie ansis carries cane 80
ve1rs ols th<s hss besn Ia almost sssFy
eoantry u the siooe-
Calf love : called calf love because msa
Is sssch sIapid animal a. - rvmsasbsr 10
al the DAYS o. bis bfe-
TIE accumulated savings Of the working
people III Massachusetts, would pay che
third u toe national dsbs
The oldest rrlguing sovereign ia kurops
Is the Mag II Denmark. who Is oae year
Tie senior 81 Queea Victoria
The total ssngtA Of she hrookiyn bridge
Is 4. 81 feet. Il Is iso feet above q tver.
computed trom the middle Of Ihs span,
Political advances aasnt OF womsn j. rapid
Ia Bombay oae woman has even been al
rlistsd 10 the senate As worthy nasmber-
AT the end Of a game Of chance 10 Is eari-
Gus how much more appears 10 have been
lest than any one Is ready TO own 10 hsv-
Ing won-
One Of the sights at Springfield, Nass.,
Is a handsomely dressed woman who never
walks out unless accompanied by At least
niue dogs.
Lady Harris, wife Of the governor OF
Bombay, Is an excellent erie keter. and was
captain of the winning side In successful
ericketing match recently held.
Edna LyaA. the novelist, has been
Obliged TO give up all literary labor on ac-
count OF poor health. and Is spending the
summer in the lake districts Of Italy.