davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
IINcnLN AID nAMI-IN.

IN default Of something Of more import
ance during the duh Midsummer season, the
public and the papers have taken some in
tarcst in the efforts Of two quite common
place men to pose before the country as
intimate friends and advisers Of Abraham
Lincoln. These are A. X. Mcclure, who
during The most Of the war, was editor Of a
country paper somewhere iu Pennsylvania.
and Is now editor Of The Philadelphia Tim cs,
aud John 6. Nicolay, the Private Secretary
81 President Lincoln. O5tensibly the dis
pule is as TO whether President Lincoln
desired Hannibal Hamlin or Andrew John
son on the ticket with him ia 1864; but
what gives acrimonious interest TO The row
Is The attempt Of each Of the disputants 10
magnify his own importance in Mr. Lin
coins councils and beiillle his opponent
Mcclure says, with READ Mcclure check:
Iu all Of thc many grave political emergencies
nli-Iug from the new aud nf,cn appalling duiic.
imposed by iuteguocinc war, was one Of those
called 20 ihc inner councils ~ Abraham Lincoln
lfc1-lrusfrd hs Judgment iu poi tics Huo WIS rvcl
careful 10 gather She be-i couu-ts from an ~,
varied shades % opinion and interest 10 guide Him
in hz conclusions aud there were scores 81 conf
dcuHal conferences boz Tie White House of which
JOHN @. Nlcolay never heard.
This reminds one strongly Of Private Pat
rick Maloney's account OF the battle O
/ Waterloo.
Is Private Patrick Maloney prisint il
the rauzsY' ser tie Jake av Wellington
refining up his harse an loolsin anxiousl,
down our lines e. The Friuch appayred owe
The bin beyant
$50 Here Oi am, yer honor SEE OF. steppin
forward, an briugiH' ine mualsct TO a presint
"'Ah, it is well, SEE the Juke. loollin' re
layvod. Thin Jet .le battle open to vance,
How IL must astonish the older Pennsyl
yanians, who remember distinctly the wa
and The many great men Of their State VIII,
stood high IN the esteem Of the country, d
learn that Lincoln, in order 10 "gather th
best cou1sels," habitually passed over suel
men as Cameron, Curtin, Thad Stevens
Galusha A. Grow, w ID. Kelley, and Others
20 hold long, confidential conferences viii
an obscure country oditorl Mcclure woul,
have il that ho was called in to solve prob
lcms which were too knOtty FOR Lincoln
What sort OF a problem could il have beer
which was beyond Lincoln's intellect, an,
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

The following extracts. clipped from the last
Issue Of the Zenith City oklahoma Torch Of
Liberty, accurately portray the amenities Of life
in that embryo metropolis;
We hereby publicly apologize to Mrs. Nc
KeTchiu, the eminent temperance advocate, for
referring % her in the last issue Of the Torch
the Amazon Of Oklahoma. We had forgotten
for the moment that the Amazon has a mouth
$50 miles wide.
The correspondent who writes % ask how
much Of a snake is tail and how much is body,
is hereby invited 70 get behind himself Satan.
The program Of the last regular weekly meet
ing Of the Progressive Eacher Club was varied
by progressive running out-of-towu in which
the three members Of the Salvation Army who
have rested uneasy ia our midst for some time
past were the parties Of the first part. The
trend Of the exodus was towards Lower Cali
foruia For genuine bargain in a bass-drum,
tom-tom and hurjy-gUrdy, call at this Of
fec.
our Possum Creek subscribers are hereby
warned that the uucurried parsonage, with his
hair cut in the John BunyaH style and his
shirt outside Of bis pantaIoous, who is roaming
about in that ueighborh0od claiming % DO
Count Leo Toistoi, the author Of Looking Back
ward, or somethiug Of the kind travelling incog.,
is an impos,or and fraud. We understand that
be sometimes varies his program by represent
ing himself as a cousin Of ours. We deny the
relationship He halls from BoonviIle, No.,
and is there known as SoiIed Ratigau.
" The marriage Of Mrs. Lobclia Slade to Three
fingered BabcOck, which occurred last Mon
day evening, was one Of the most enjoyable az
fairs Of the season. Four Of the Iadys former
husbands were present aud another was repre-
sentcd by his brother After the ceremony, all
hands adjourned to the cemetery and in the
moonlight strewed flowers on the grave Of the
brides first husband, who died some two years
ago. Among the many presents was a huge
Bible presented to the happy couple by the
four eI-husbands and the husband by proxy,
all Of whom Clipped in literally for its pur-
chase. The bride has our thanks for noble
wedding cake made by her own fair hands
She always makes wedding cake calculated ia
cause a man to whip his father in his exhilara-
ton. We wish her many happy returns Of the
day.
THE report that VIC were in state Of beastly
intoxcation last Saturday night is a vile false.
hood. We were not under Judge Begad's corn,
! crib because we bad cEawled there to hide ouI
shame, bat simply because the borrowed mule
which was collaborating with US in the cult.
va'iCn Of our truck patch ran away with rs
and borrowed cuItivatoF and after playing
roaring blazes for some time and distance
siuug as down beside the crib and then kicked
US under it. For a time we believed we were
fatally injured, and so we remained where VIZ
were that we might die in peace"
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
ELECTRICITY As \ MEANS or EXECU-
TEON.

TEOS.
Four criminals were executed in New
YorI, last week by means Of electricity, and
everything passed of in the most successful
manner. The apparatus worked as well as
its constructors would have had it do, and
in each case death was instantaneous aud
probably rs painless as any killing can be.
on the other hand, we fail 10 see wherein
is the improvement over the old way Of
hanging To the contrary, it seems vastly
more disagrecable, not only TO the victims,
but to those charged with carrying out the
sentence of the law. There is a great deal
more fixing, fumbling and adjustment than
in hanging, and this must be excessively
disacreeable 10 all concerned Hanging has
the merit Of requiring comparatively little
Of the intensely trying handling of the pris-
oner by his executionrrs. His hands are tied
behind him, his legs piuionei, the rope adj
justed about mis- neck, aud the scaifoId does
the rest Tie most nervous Sheriff can 10
this much successfully. Butwi;h electricity
there has to be great number Of delicate
adjustments and arrangements made, which
must greatly protract the sickening period
Immediately preceding the fatal moment
and he infinitely trying TO the executioners
witnesses, and the condemned. We are glad
10 note little disposition on the part OF other
States TO initiate New Yorks departure from
the old-ashioned way.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

SOME Of the good people of Detroit arc
unnecessarily alarmed about the use Of in
toxicants at the National Encalnpment.
There were the same fears expressed at Port
land, and suggestions were made Of extra
precautions in regard TO the sale of liquors
This is needless. The boys may have been
a little wild a quarter Of a century ago, but
a more orderly, temperate, law-abiding set
of men does not gather anywhere than at tn e
National Encamrments. They are all ma
ture men, of middle age OF past, patterns of
sobriety and decorum at home, and not at all
liable to excuses when they 90 abroad.
Their time for painting towns a lively hue
passed years ago, and ifall the liquor in the
United States were standing open in Detroit
there would be astonishingly little of il
drank. We sincerely believe that larger
proportion Of total abstaineTs viii be found
among the men and women who will gather
in Detroit than can be found in any meet
ing, outside Of a church or temperance con-
vention, that could assemble there. Let the
temperance people of the fair City of the
Straits rest In peace. Neither whisky nor
beer nor yet the wine that Is red, will dis
turb them or the veterans within their
oates
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

RICHMOND is in eesiacies because Mrs.
Jefferson Davis has decided to have her
husbands remains rest in that city. There
is much big talk about mausoleum over
them which viii astonish the country. How
much of this is real rebel spirit and how
much sLrewd business calculation we will
not undertake to say. The business men Of
the South have always relied greatly on
fomenting sectional spirit as a matter Of
policy. They have felt that that was the
best way to counteract the superior enter
prise and facilities of their Northern COM
petitors For this reason they were active
fomenters of the bitterness against the
"Abolitionists of the North before the war;
There is no doubt that New Orleans, Mem
phis, Mobile, Charleston, Savannah and
Richmond went into the rebellion with zeal
because they hoped to cut off all trade with
the North, and monopolize that Of the
Sunny South" Richmond is still at the
same game. She is fighting Baltimore,
Philadelphia, New York and Boston for
the control of the trade Of the South Atlantic
seaboard She relies on Southern senti-
ment as potent help. JEFF Dayiss grave
within herlimits viii be big card. twill
tend to make her the Mecca for all the
worshipers Of the Lost Cause, and give her
an advantage over her sharpest competition
Baltimore-which will make the merchants
Of the latter city sick at heart.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
TIE RLrE.GRAss WAY.

Brethren an si5tuhs," announced the Pas
tor OF the Possum Trot Circuit, please bear in
mind that the baptism viii take place at ToIli-
yers Hole next Sabbath mawniu'. All are in
vited to be present Bring your dinnuh
baskets an stay all day. / an pleased to an
nouucc that the Bowie-Jacklong feud will DO
suspended fuh that Que day and the mcmbuhs
Of both families will participate in the picnic.
II will puhaps be well fun some thoughtful
brothuh 10 bring rope as thuh is said to be
suspicious-loOking nisguh prowling in that
vaciuity and it IS always best to be prepared
fuh any emergencies. Tho choir will now
sing Easscl, Jacob, Rassel!'"
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
"GREEN GOODS"

TIE "greon-goods men" still continue, on
tie wholesale plan, their infamous attempts
to swindle would-be swindlers They seem
10 act on the theory that every man IS at
heart a scoundrel and will swindle if he
thinls there is a good chance to DO so with
cut being caught They are flooding the
country with their circulars, which, we are
informed, are addressed 10 every name they
can get hold q, 10 matter how respectable
the man may be.
Oar readers have sent as quite q number
OF them. These are gotten mp in a very
specioas manner, and well calculated to de-
ceive. Each Of them has what preteuds TO be
a typewriter letter, giving the receiver n
secret number by which he can address the
green goods A" swindler. Accompanying IL
is a long printed slip which, il is pretended,
is cut from New York paper, and gives an
account Of how man who was the recipient
Of a green-goods" circular, which offered
him hundred thousand dollars in green
backs for a small sum, "acted smart" and
gave the thing away 10 the officers. The
green goods" men were arrested and
brought into court, but 70 the amazement Of
the officers and the man who had informed
on them, the Judge and baninote experts
declared that the hundred thousand dollars
which he was TO receive were good notes,
and could not be distinguished from those
issued by the Treasury Department Con-
sequently the scoundrels were let 60.
There is absolutely not one word Of truth
in this statement There are no good coun-
terfeits Of either Treasury or National Bank
notes aloat No plates have been stolen
from the Bureau Of Engraving and Printing
and the whole thing is a swindle from be-
ginning TO end. The only object Of the
swindlers is 10 get their dupe to New York
and cheat him out Of several hundred dol.
lars, which he is willing TO pay for counter.
feits that he thinks he can pass without
detection.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
A NEW HUMORIsT.

Gov. Tillman, of South Carolina, has here
tofore attracted much attention as popu-
lar politician, leader of a successful revolt
against ring rule, and an uncompromising
antagonist of railway moEopolies and a con-
trolling spirit in the Farmers Alliance. He
showed much ability in ali these parts. lie
now appears before the country in the role
Of humorist, and his first effort is a singu-
larry able one. II is true he does not seem
TO know how exquisitely funny he is, but
that Is Characteristic Of all really great hui
morists. The funniest things are those
which have every appearance of earnesiness
and sincerity, and in this line Gov. Tillman
seems 10 excel. Until he was elected TO Office
he was especially hostile to all free passes on
railroads, especially for public officers. \
little while after his election the Richmond
& Dluyille Railroad sent him free pass.
lie acknowledged its receipt in the follow
ing remarkable letter:
My FIRST impulse was o return It, because in the
past have criticized members Of the Legislature
for accepting free passes, aud do not care to DO
placed in false position. But, after thinking over
the matter have decided to accept il ia the spirit
in which / ann sure you offered il; because you
know me too well TO suppose for an instant could
be Influenced 10y small thing. do not want
10 appear churli-h pcayuui-h by mistaising
courtesy FOR brjbc. / will therefore, keep II and
Us, II as occasion offers.
IfBill Nye has written anything rs really
comical rs this il has escaped our notice.
If the spelling were changed it would be
worthy Of Artemas Ward. There is an ego
tistical assumption that an act denounced
by him as a crime where performed by others,
becomes at once innocent, if not praise
worthy, when he does il, which is intensely
ludierous. A pass given to another man is
"brbe"; given TO Gov. Tillman it Is merely
courtesy" such rs one gentleman natu-
rally extends 10 another. You know me
too well to suppose for an instant could be
Influenced 10y so small q thing" writes the
Governor. There viii be people wicked
enough 10 hint that this may be a notifiea-
cation 70 the railroad company that it must
come down more strongly if it expects to
swerve the Governor from his official in
tegrity.
No" said jim Fisk, though,fully, in the
days when he aud his father were wandering
ped!ers, and some customer had complained
that the elder Fisk had told lie to gain &
dime Il don't think Dad d tell lie for Il
cents; but be might tell two for a quarter
So, the Governor OF South Carolina is sure
that single annual pass for himself would
not influence him in the slightest degree
bat he does not say what effect one for bis
whole family and their friends might have
upon him.
If The Governor keeps on this way a vol
ume compiled from his official correspond
ence would have wide sale as book o
genuine American humOr.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16


FRANI1NEss or THE PENsION-HATERs.
We trust that the comrades everywhere
are taking due note Of the entire frankness
Of the pension-haiers as 10 what they pro-
pose TO do in the coming Congress, or Con-
crosses, for they assume that they arc not
only going 10 control the next Congress- but
all succeeding ones. Every member Of the
majority IN the next House says, with the
utmost freedom Of distinc,ncss, that lac medi-
tates some cuuailment Of the pension list,
and that that is the humor Of that body.
The only difference in their expressions is
one Of degree. The more moderate con-
zine themselves 10 saying that the expen-
ditures are entirely 100 large, and must be
cut down. Many talk bitterly, and with
injurious yaguencss, Of the hordes Of de-
serters," bounty. Jumpers" "colIee-eo0lcrs,'
militia" latteT-day, big-houniy men, etc,
who are receiving enormous sums and Of
whom the pension Tell must be purged.'
From this ID grades rapidly worse rs one
goes southwark, until there are found those
who viii be satisfied with nothing less than
The Wiping outof the entire pension system.
There are few interviews " in Southern Rep
rescutatives but contain some expression OF
hostility 10 the pension system, and many OF
The Northern ones are equally outspolen.
The Soulhen newspapers and the Free
Trade organs of the North and interior the
speeches NJ southern political meetings are
All characterized by yiruleut opposition TO
pensions iu general and in particular. Moth
ing dcismaiory OF Union soldiers and pen
sioncrs is lelt unsaid. The seIfinterest Of
Tile people is constantly appealed to with The
false assertion that they are heavily taxed
IN order 10 pay pensions TO an army OF AFRO
CANT heggars, and that If they viii abolish
tie pension system the difficulty Of support
ing Themselves and families viii be greatly
lesscned.
All these things are known TO every man
who reads the newspapers Of The country
with any care. eLold il highly important
that The comrades take note Of these things,
aud act accordingly They must assert
themselves in defense Of justice 10 them
selves and comrades. To assume as many
DO, that the pension battle has been def
nitely won, is to commit the graycst Of mis-
takes. il is threatened with serious DANCE.
an the fruits Of the long battle for veterans
rights may be lost in asingio session Of Con
grcss, If these enemies are not confronted
with determination aud resolution. We
shall have 10 fight a battle next Winter and
thcfollowing one which viii be more desper-
ate than any Of The many which have pre-
coded IL.
We must lose no time, nor neglect any
opportunity in preparing Tor that battle
Veterans must organize everywhere and
present a solid front to their opponents
repelling ISLANDERS with facts meeting argu-
ments with arguments, and defamation with
eulogy. We must show our cncm ies 3hat
we are as resolute IN maintaining our rights
rs they are ia aszailiDg hem, and il is every
comrades duty to take bis share Of this fight
TIE should not Jet any derogatian Of the
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

REFEa SrATIyE TAEsNEY, Of Missouri,
has been cling The New York reporters hat
be propose 10 do something IN the mex Con-
gres 10 "s.ol eel, 10 some extent she stream
Of cash ta. IS flowing ont Of ,he Treasury
through lhe Pension Burcau" Tie also
mentions ,aai before was 20 years old ]
was shot laiio rebel lead in two battles
Fredericksburg ana Gettysburg had
suffered hgaoT5F-of Andersougillc, Millen,
and Belle Iae' Therefore be speaks as a
Union se'G..r
The National tribune., 1891-07-16


Coy Pl.rns iaa seriously h.naerod
pEoaes 81 Psna-y wanna by Lis veto Of the
compa' E'aoaim Bill His preteu
81 do.ae ua. iaat compulsory education
b. Dad illn mni upon The Liberties Of The
people Ts thal be believes that free
attendance oaaa free schools most belts
itepeoro gais Is speelous and Gema-
Pa-c ~ lg aw which ir.riuges upon
tAs lt5r o. the people were ob.iferatcd
from ine rtu.s books here would be- very
few .cll Take particularly the health laws.
They one a Hcu despoGsm as can be
imagined lr general, mans house i Dis
cas Ir Dr. 1as an absolute right 10 build il
o. be- please puisl il as DE wishes. and
I've iH n..l BIS family Ia whatever way
VIII laf sui Dis taste and convenience.
Bus .u ans aHd sanitary officers thrust
themselves before aud after il is finished
They do H. csea iJrify themselves with
o warrant 90 Justify their intrusion into hi.
c.sl. aa.r, aud lie must obey, that
CERTAIN a.a-gt which Ae may prefer. shall
not De used a iis construction; that III,
pIunbHgma be done thai way. The drain.
iuE ihs aHd so an Ie shall moi poison
himself aaa family with sewer-gas. ThH
De- not So mu.h .est De alil die, bui .or Gea.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

lF There IS more beautiful city than
Detroit "5 d. no, know where it is; ii there
are anywhere more hosIitable people than
the large ouied Western Yankees who have
buhup Tee city aad The State Or Michigan
We do nal isaoN Nio hey are. Let every
camrade naa cam 90 there do 20, with his
mud AAed ON having a royalty good Time,
and We cln a.sme him that be win not be
daappoiu,s3. Everything is being done 10
make roe Eacampment glorious success,
and We ars .aae dat it viii be.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

IN IS Ty important that a man in Mr.
Po~de'ly's position should De careful 10
maintain rHn-Iariisan attitude, but We
thHf % ha Las strained point in de-
1lnHg eaE Falson's appointment as one
Of Peu aau..s Commissioners 10 The
World far; taaf is unless Gov Pattison,
a. j. alleged las made these strictly poIid-
cal, r.0 h-ew b ;he advancement OF his
P@.denaa a-rsations Then il would be
em.nent.y proper lor 1lr Poaderly to de-
cllue
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
A BAD BREAK.

Meliek-so you met the charming Miss
Sothron, Of Mobile, last night2 OF course be-
fore the evening was over she told you she was
q " Sooth'n gul her pronunciation Of South
ern girl and that she was proud oft?
Jelliek-Oh, yes. She said "sooth'n" so
frequently. in fact, that inadvertently called
her " Hrs Winslow," twice.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

Snoopy the trampj-say, spuds, what's dem
papers stiekin' out o yer pocket?
Spuds lditto)-Traets. give 'em one every
place dey don't give me nuth'n' to eat.
Snoopy-Whats der game?
Spuds-Dese tracts is mighty lurid, see :
Wal. dassn't swear at do lady, so jest give
her a tract about goin' to hell or suth'n' O. do
kind, see! Ust to smash a rock agin the door
an run, but dis is safer an less trouble.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

hAsAlA'l7A, ID, G. TIA ID 30'l.
THE miserable condition OF The la55rers
IN Laropl IS shown by the news hat iEo
famine among tHcSilesign wCavers continues
uuaha'ed ad ala, The Government has CON
irlbu,gd $4,000 marks about S3,5aO-iH
order a. induce $50 children Of wcavcrs 10
leave lh.Ir laieIs' trade and become what
is virtually Slaves to large farmers. Each
wcavcr-la.logi s 10 receive 30 mmlls-S150-
as comrai sa.ian On Che loss Of mis- chdd and
its services and Insignificant as Jhis sum is
The pressure 10 get ID Is enormous.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

II each sabscriber 10 THE NATIONAL
TRIBUNE iCiH charge himself Nth getting
one aeC subscriber The circulation of The paper
WiH be doubled at once, aud l0iLA title trouble.
Let each subscriber tyik
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
CASH IN TfE TREASTRy.

At the close Of business on the evening of
Monday, July 10, the United States Treas
urer officially reported that the available
cash in the Treasury was S149, $50 2OO.11.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

Hare you done your duty in getting one more
subscriber for THE NATIONAL TRIBUNEP
You should do ibis, for IL is he best 1ay 10 AslD
your comrades.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
OUR HEADQUARTERS.

THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE's headquarters
at Detroit will be in Room 40, Hotel Cadillac,
where we viii be glad to welcome all our
friends. Come in and see us.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

Hare yOW asked oH your appropriateness %
subscribe for THE NATIONAL TRfBUNEP
faot, do 50 at once, 10 gire the piper more
p0Usr ia disappointing the cause Of the reieraA5.
The National tribune., 1891-07-16
quick. BY George! III send BIN over to-
morrow to begin a term o. triggernomerty.

IF there Il such thing as TRANSMIT grafton Of
souls the spirits Of the Quantreils, the Jameses,
and their followers must h8yo entered into the
bodies Of California butcher birds. 10 is a
bird which seems to delight in killing and
cruelty Il will follow the Plow to pick up
the snakes gophers, rats mice, etc, which are
driven out. It will carry these to The next
hedge, and fa5ten them upon It's thorus to die, or
to be devoured when the butcher-bird has
leisure or has no other meat.
THE men who predicted that the Fourth Of
July was losing its grip on the American people
seem to be Of the Prof" Yenner style Of
prophets
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

J'a ts1c 1o0 d'ay a. eating one none
al gatIHE NlIIoEAL gRIEUGEg
ais JoT z 4 a,l best ray 10 hclD
81 aHHHfas
The National tribune., 1891-07-16

What All DO you teach we're, PerIesserf
Pedagog-Reading, writing. mathematics,
geography and
Prominent Citizen-Huh! Don't keer about
my boy learnin' none O. them falderaIs. What
else have you got in stOek2
Pedagog Tin desperation)-Ho would
trigonometTy-
Prominent Citizen-Triggernome Jest
the thingl Never could learn my boy to shoot