Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-13
PITH AND POINT.

Appointed to fill vacancy-Your
dining table.-Puck
The bounded man usually goes to the
dogs.--Pittsbuay. Post. ,s.. &
Birds never quarrel over a difference
of a pinion. - Yonkers Gazette.
Occasionally the wiscst owl boots at
the wrong time -Atchison Globe. 's,'' {
A lounge is sometimes used in the
Observation-Disclosures Republican. K,
1t takes the yellows to give tue peach
growers the blues. - Baltimore american.
The modern girl often longs for such
Boaz Ruth had. -Binghamtoa Repa6-
lican.
Always forgive your enemies-espe-
cially those you can't whip.-.Ttcas
Sytmgs.
Hunger may sharpen the wis, but it
puts vicious wire edge on the Tempe.
Puck.
"Whcn I work 1 frequently play2"
"What is your business2" t'I'm fire.
man. y Yankee Blade.
There are people who get credit for
being good simply because they have
poor health.-Ram's Horn.
A paradox-That the horse in the
tread-mill should keep on straight ahead,
and yet be always turning.
When men say "short accounts make
long friends" they do not refer to bank
accounts.-MeU York Herald.
A life-size picture of the penitentlary
should be kept in the Office of every
State Treasurer. Galueston Ne,os.
The New York murderer thinks that
''electrocution' is not only poor word
but tough sentence Chicago Times.
The man who hasn't the capacity to
attend to his own business always finds
others to do it for him. Galueston Neaps.
The sports of children may satisfy the
child, but they usually spread n wave Of
discomfort through the whole neighbor-
hood.-Puck
The pickpocket is living example of
the truth that in order to succeed in life
one should keep in touch with his fell
lows. Boston Courier.
She-"Don't you sing2 Why, how
stupid of you'll" He-t'If you'd ever
heard me you'd think it was everlasting
smart of e. Vest Shore.
The quickest way totconvince person
of the accuracy of the Darwinian theory
is to show him summer boy with his
hair clipped. Binqhamton Republican.
Two men looked at branch of bay,
And both for fame did itch;
Fate gave to one the crown OF leaves,
The other got the switch.
R,cI
There are said to be nearly six thou
sand pieces in modern locomotive-es-
pecially when the engineer fails to see
the rear lights on the train ahead.-
Chicago Post
If you will but notice it, there are
more learned fools in this world than
ignorant ones; or is it because they have
better facilities for exhibiting their fool
ishness? Boston Transcript.
Briton-"If you are such d rampant
American should think you would re-
main where Americans are most appre-
ciated." American-'.I do-in London
and Paris. y Kate Fields Washington.
He slipped the ring upon her hand,
And kissed his bonny bride; Af
And the strains OF the same old wedding
march
Went outward with the tied
Washington Fost
An actor makes real love to Drett5p
girl in private life. "Dearest / long
you devotedly. implore you TO liste1R,sl
where's the prompter2"- Fliegoade BSaet-
ter. t. tceE bG Sf5 $50
Miss Summit Have you heard the,
dreadful news about Miss Ringster? Yes
terday she jumped out of three story
window and killed herself" Miss Pali-s
sadc--"Oh, isn't that awful2 What,did
she have on2"-Cioab Reoie,c.
William the Wanderer Cat the kitchen
window, shifting the delicious odor OF
the cooking dinner)--. Beauteous maid, !
I smell" The Cook--..I know We do;
an" if yor don't go away from here I'll
put the boord av hith on yer: "--Jury. I.
Probably the hardest, most trying
thing which can befall anyone in this
world is the endeavor to decipher the
important memoranda he has iottedj
down with such confidence OF being able
to read right OFT when he wants to use
them. Boston Transcript.
member Of the Fire Brigade Com
mittee of the County Council atthe Guild
hall banquet observed to neighboring
Alderman: 's'The acoustics arevery bad
in this hail." "Really!' replies the lat
ter. HYou surprise me. can't smell
anything. p London Truth. "a
$50 you mustered up courage and
called upon her last night2" II did,
"Did she seem pleased?" $50 tell the
truth, I was SO nervous that Ididn't no.
tice, but guess she was pleased, for as
l got up to go saw that she looked
very happy. "--Ne@ YORK. Press.