Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-08-20
BOWSERS In NEW YORM
NOT ENTIRELY SETTLED DOWN
IN THE METROPOLIS.
They Fall Back on the Screen
Doors They Brought from Detroit.
and Thereby Hangs a Tale-Latesf
Crop Of Humor.

your way down town?' asked Mrs
| Bow%Ser the other morning as Mr.. Bow
scr was ready to leave the house.
"Why?" he cautiously asked in re
| ply.
I'VE ought to have a screen-door &
! the kitchen. There where all the file!
come III. We can use one of those door!
we brought with us, but We'll have tt
have Il carpenter to hang it."
I'VE will, eh? beg to differ. dom
propose to pay no carpenter three OF
four dollars for doing what | can do in
half an hour. I'll fix it myself.
But don't you remember, Mr.. Bow
scr-don't YOU remember that you
That | what
"Iou tried to hang n screen-door last
summer in Detroit and you got so mad
YOU nearly tore the house down."
II did, eh? That a pretty yarn for
You to stand up there and spinl In the
first place. | never tried to hang a
screen-dOor, and IN the second never
got mad.
But you -you''-she stammered.
Nothing Of the sort. ! don't even
remember that we had a screen door.
! never tried to hang one. ] never got
mad. | never even saw fly around
our house in Detroit. Change of eli
mate seems to have had very queer
effect on you"
but won't you send up a carpen-
ter?'
Not 10y a jugful! shan't have any
thing to do at the Office this afternoon,
and if there's bit of tinkering around
the house it will be fun for me-
He returned at noon, having heavy
parcel with him, and when Mrs. Bowser
asked about the contents he cut the
string and replied
just q few tools. Come handy to
tinker with. Every man ought to keep
a few tools and do his own repairing.
l think / saved US at least 500 last
year
well, hope you won't fly mad over
your work. A screen-door is a very
particular thing to hang"
'Oh! it is! You've hung lots of EN-, |
presume"
Il know that it takes skilled work
man"
You'd better write a book and call
il: What Know About Scrcen-Doors. ;
| ought to feel awful proud to think
have such smart wife! Run right in.
llONs anu DtS III OD INC llIbI CHA pJtT VI
your book
Mr..Bowscr descended to the cellar
where he found four sCrecn-dOors Of
different sizes. He selected one he
thought would fit and carried it up.
1t was six inches too nigh. The next
was four inches too short. The third
was almost long enough to make two
such doors as he wanted. He had the
fourth one, which was almost fit, in
the back yard, when Mrs. Bowser
came out to say:
IF you had first measured the open
ing and then measured your doors. you
wouldn't have had to lug up but this
one"
Wouldn't l? Perhaps you under
stand my object in bringing up the ex-
ira ones? Perhaps it is the duty of q
husband to explain every little move
he makeS?'
The Internal old kitchen is either
lifting up or settling down" he growled
as he held the door up. I've got to
saw piece off the bottom to make a
fit, and she'll either fit or down comes
the shanty!'
He sawed off a piece and got what he
called Il tit. lie smiled and chucliled
over his success, and had the hinges on
when Mrs. Bowser came out to ask:
What good is door there if you
leave all those cracks"
Cracks! Cracks! You can't find
one"
Look here-and here-and here!
Mr.. Bowser, even the bumble-bees of
New York would have no trouble in
flying in there. And how are you put
ting that spring on?'
Mr. Bowser laid down the hammer,
the gimlet and the screwdriver, and
after wiping off his flushed face he
stood erect and pointed into the kit
chen. Mrs. BOwser disappeared with
out a word Then he inspected and
found cracks.
"Confounded old doorway is out of
plumb, and that's the matter he
grOwled, as he set to work to unhingc
it. When he got the door off he racked
it this way and that and tried it again
More cracks than before He took it
down and sprung on the top with all
his might, and this time, as he held it