The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-14
SERGEANT TINS, SCHOLAR
A Policeman Given to Taking
Thought at :05 on Sum
day Morning.
He ContrOverts the Advice of the
Late Mr.. Weller As to
Widows.
Great Men Who Have Espoused Reflects
How Maidens May 0ualify-Be-
ware Of Widowers.

It was five minutes past one on Sunday
morning in the Thirteenth street station
house, The police alarm from headquar-
tiers had Just finished that peculiarly irri-
Eating and prolonged jingle, and the cleo
trio bell behind the desk railing that Ser
cesnt Sheldon interprets as the order: See
that the saloons are closed! See that the
saloons are closed! See that the sa-
looms are closed!' and he had gone out to
carry out the injunction of the bells. Capt.
Reilly was fast asleep in his room restoring
in sweet slumber the wear and tear OF the
Arion festival, and Sergeant Oliver Tins,
the scholar, leaned back in his chair be-
hind the desk, put the tips OF his fingers to-
gether, and cast his eyes upon the celllng
after the manner of the stained glass saint
in church windows, and began to ponder,
says the New York Sun.
The interesting thing about the situation
was that the hour of LOS a. m. on Sunday
is the time that the police OF Capt. Reilly's
command all concede is properly devoted to
bordering by all true philosophers, and so,
by common consent. nobody interferes
with Sergeant Tins when he leans back i'll
his chair at this particular hour every Sun
day and gives himself up to thought. Capt.
Reilly and the others say that the policeman
who knows by heart six of the tragedies OF
Shakespeare, and can repeat them word 1o5
word. who has lectured on temperance and
political reform, who is an orator and a
student. and is at present preparing an
essav on lettering the condition of the la
borer. has a right to ponder when he gets
the opportunity.
ceiling for ten minutes a young man Wlthe
an elongated brown o%vercoat and an Eng
lish setter trotting at his heels opened the
door of the station and gave the police
philosopher a wished-for opportunity TO
make public the substance of his peaceful
checked sergeant fairly beamed with smiles,
and he fred off the thoughts instantly in
the following surprising fashion:
1.-The pages of history glow with euloogles
of widows, my boy. have you ever lenects
ed upon the instructive fact that some OF
the most famous men of the world have
marriedawidows2 There was King Charles
XII, and frederick the Great and Admiral
Nelson al d the First Napoleon and George
Washington and Lord Be~aconsheia ana
ever so many more noted Tor their genius
and for those attributes that TT men to be
leaders of their fellow men,
The sergeant stopped to take breath. ana
the setter sat on her Launches and gazed
at him with a sort of fascination and tried
to get through The railing to shake hands
"Then you donY agree with the late Mr..
WelIer?' ventured She young man with the
elongated brown ovefcoat.
"What, the man vino said 'Samivel, be-
ware of the viddersf" exclaimed the ser
I do not agree with}Mr. Weller. He was
ssToo what do YOU attribute the choice of
the great men you hafs named?" asked the
young man. ''There were plenty of maidens
around in those days(as now."
Il ascribe the selection of widows by
these brilliant men to their superior lntelll-
gence. They we're n&en Of rare good judR-
ment, and they reasoned that the women
whom they chose Understood men, and
were already trained ~ the management of
homes. They were mdp, you see, VIII did
not care to run any risks OF the matri.
monial lottery, which Amay be permitted
to describe SIMPLY as marriage with women
who have never been married before. Tn
widows whom Nelson end Napoleon and
Washington and the othey great men mar
ried had already earned an honorable fame
as excellent wives, and there could. there
fore, be no chance of disappointment In
Wedding them. AMI You will observe, il
you examine the pages of history, that they
husbands. just as they were devoted
and useful to their first. As the pursuit
of happiness ia one of the chief ends of
man, according to the declaration of indie
pendence and common sense, and as a we'll
considered marriage is sure road to hap
piness, therefore it follows, dom you see,
my boy, that to marry a widow. who has
proven her ability to make a good wife, is
the best policy to pursue in the pursuit of
happiness and will quickest yield the result
sought for"
The police orator rubbed his hands to-
gether, and the setter gave a delightful
bark. Every good, and very elegantly
put" said the young man in the elongated
coat. But" and he leaned over the rail-
ing, and his voice grew solemn, 'if all the
men who believe in marriage as IN %institu-
ton are to marry widows. MI. Tins, what
ia to become of the maidens? You surely
wouldn't deprive them of a show"
The studious sergeant sat bolt upright
with a start. He scratched his head and
looked up to the ceiling. He had struck a
setter.
'True, very true" he muttered. "Let
me see, now. What could we do with the
maidens?' Then his face frightened
again. II have it.. Let them marry and
become widows, of course, and then they
will be in the field all right" He leaned
back in the chair once more with that air
of satisfaction that marks the man who has
triumphed over an obstacle.
Just then the station door opened and
to the railing. They were both dressed in
black.
well, ladies, what's the matter? What
can l do fol-. you?' the sergeant asked in a
kindly tone. A very curious look came into
his face, when one of the women, between
her sobs, told her story. Boiled down to
facts it was this:
"A year ago | married a man who had
lost his wife a year before. | was Il widow.
He has turned out to be a very wicked man.
He beats me and has just driven me out of
the house. and he has got another woman
there. want him arrested
The sergeant directed the woman to 90 to
Jefferson market and get a warrant for the
arrest of the perfdlous widower, and
wheeled around with his back to the rail.
ing, and stared hard at the wall.
sergeant" ventured the young man with
the overcoat, after a long and painful
silence, this incident reminds me that you
haven't told what rule is to be applied b,
women who think of taking husbands. Ii
the Weller injunction to be changed tc
'Samiyel, beware of the vidervers,' or is
Young man." exclaimed the sergeant,
sternly, wheeling around and cutting tn,
interrogations abruptly short, this sym
postum is ended. Sufficient unto the nigh
is one proposition for philosophic rumina
ton. I'm. going to be very busy now
Good morning"
Tn sergeant had struck a second snap
and it ruff1ed him. Capt. Reilly assert
that his sergeant since that night has bee