davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
Why They Want Princes.

II believe" said a man not long
since, "that the fairy tales on which
children are fed in their most impress
sionable days are largely responsible
for the rage of all girls, particularly
Americans, for princes. There was
never fairy story written that did
not have a prince for hero. What
would have been Cinderella's reward
if the young man who found her
glass slipper had not been a prince
Suppose he had been a worthy grocer's
clerk or an intelligent young farmer
out on a lark-would not the tale
have lost its fascination Z Then, the
hind in the wood-did he not turn in
to a prince e? and the frog also.
Suppose the hind had turned into
a woodchopper and the frog into an
honest fisherman-would the girls
have been so well pleased : And are
not all the fortunate and happy girls
of the fairy tales princesses either b,
birth or marriage? l tell you that
there is more truth in this theory O.
mine than people imagine, and if evel
l become the father of a family my
children shall know nothing abou
heroes of fairy tales" Certainly the
one lesson that fairy tales teach is thai
to be a princess or to marry prince
is the sweetest boon that can befall q
woman. w ashington Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
New York's Thirteen Club.

New York has a club that exists
for the purpose of combating the
thirteen" superstition. Itstarted with
13 members, who flew in the face of
providence by sitting down together
to dine. The club now has 1900
members, and the peculiar part of it
is their death rate is no larger, and,
possibly, smaller, than is that of other
clubs. AT their dinner they have 13
courses, with 13 different wines.
There are always 13 seated at each
table, and the dinner always COM
mences at 8:13 p. NJ. The committee
of arrangement, entertainment COM
mittee and reception committee each
number 13. The dues are 13 cents a
month. The wine list for the last
dinner, given December IS, is printed
on black cardboard, in the shape of a
coffin lid, in which there are 13 gold
nails. One side tells you in the most
reckless manner that death is saluted
though it is tanned down a little by
being in Latin-and the other sides
has the name of the wines, headed
with gold crown skull, overshadow-
ed by an incredulous, astonished owl.
They defy death, and then have the
courage to stand up and ridicule the
superstition in their responses to sar-
castle toasts. They have several din
ners through the year, and the last
was December 13th.-Chicago Her
old
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
A Rattlesnake's Gratitude.

"Did you ever hear of the remark
able presence of mind displayed by
McJunkin's tame rattlesnake ?" asked
the snake editor.
"No," replied the horse editor.
"McJunkin was out hunting one
day, and he came across rattlesnake
on which rock had fallen accidental
ly in such a way that the reptile could
not get away. Being humane sort
of a chap, he lifted the rock and re-
leased the snake, which expressed its
gratitude in few joyful rattles, and
then wriggled away"
"Is that where the presence of mind
came in ?"
No; am coming to that. A year
or so after, McJunkin was hunting
in the same locality, and was startled
by hearing the peculiar noise of the
rattlesnake. Turning, he found one
of the reptiles following him, and rec
ognized the one he had been kind to
the year before. The snake seemed
very glad to see him, and followed at
his heels like dog. McJunkin was
struck by this remarkable case Of
gratitude in creature supposed to
be totally devoid of that quality, and
he took the snake home with him.
After extracting its fangs, the snake
was permitted the freedom of the
house.
"One night McJunkin heard noise
in the room below, where his safe was
standing. Going down to see what
the trouble was he found burglars at
work, but they promptly gagged him.
Mrs. McJunkin followed her husband
down stairs, and rushed to the window
to give the alarm. She had opened il
about four inches when she, too, was
seized and gagged by the burglars.
"By this time the snake. which had
been asleep under the safe, crawled
out. 1t saw at a glance that the man
who saved its life was in dire distress
Wriggling rapidly toward the open
window it climbed chair, thrust its
tail out into the street, and made such
loud rattle that the police arrived
before the burglars could get away,
and both of them were captured. y
Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
He Looked Just Like 1t.

1t was told some years ago of a
Southern youth, that one morning af-
ter completing somewhat protracted
toilet, he turned to his servant and in
quired, "How do l look, Caesar?"
offended, massa, 'plendid," was the
ready answer.
"Do you think I'll do, Caesar ?" he
asked, surveying himself and giving
Caesar a quarter.
Guy massa, neber see you look
so fierce in all my life. You look jis
as bold as a lion %
"a lion What do you know
about lion You meyer saw one
Caesar"
"Neber see a lion, massa |! Guy
/ see Massa Peyton's Jim ride one
ober de mill every day."
"Why, you fool, that's a donkey p
Cant help dat, massa," said Caesar,
"you look jis like him."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Aunt Rosanna-"I took the liberty
of instructing your modiste to haye
your ball dresses cut with regard to
the requirements of what promises to
be a cold winter, my dears." Clemen-
tine-"We don't get half a show, do
we, Bess ?"-Judge.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Aunt (severely)-As l glanced in
to the parlor last evening saw you
with young mans arms around you.
Niece (calmly)-Yes, aunty, l was
waiting for you to pass the door and
see us. Young men are very slippery
nowadays, and one can't have too
many witnesses
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

The German emperor is going to
France incognito. But he has taken
the precaution to advertise the fact
quite extensively, lest somebody
should fail to know who he is.-Boston
transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

"This is pretty time to be coming
home !" cried Mrs. Oldwed, as she
met her husband at the head of the
stairs about 2 a. m. "Deep shnow
aPays make males late, m DEAR" ex-
claimed her worthy spouse.-Ex-
change.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Someone proposed to take Succi to
Washington the last day of his fast,
that he might show to the office seek
ers somebody hungrier than them.
selves.-Denver Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Blinks-"I got stuck half way
through my proposal to Miss Money
bags last night" Winks-"Did she
help you out ?" Blinks-"No, her
father helped me out. t."-Somerville
Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

$50 the old gentleman kicked you
down the stoop when you called to
see his daughter. Did he break any
thing?" "Yes; he broke our engage
ment. ."-Philadelphia Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

1t is just one hundred years since
the first plug hat was made. Senator
Evarts refuses to loan it for exhibition
at the worlds fair for fear of taking
cold.-Omaha Bee.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

When a woman loyes a man she
can't see why every other woman
dosen't love him just as much-and
generally he can't either.-Somerville
journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Johnny-"Ma, wherein l going to
stay while you and pa are gone ?"
Ma-"Your pa isn't going away"
Johnny-"Yes, he is. He's going
to Rome"
Ma-"What put that foolish notion
into your head I"
Johnny-T heard him tell man
that as soon as you went away he was
going to make Rome howl, and how
can he do it without going there p
Chicago Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Elmira has female shoemaker. 1t
is comfort to feel that if Washing
ton has the first lady in the land,
Elmira has the last lady.-Elmira
Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

A beer income with champagne
taste is an unfortunate combination
but very common one with Ameri-
cans.-Buffalo Commercial.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

The Chinaman who lighted his pipe
while repairing a powder mill has
given up smoking. 1t takes long
time for some men to learn that to-
bacco is injurious.-Louisville Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

A man must feel at home to be easy
in conversation. Send a barber to
Congress and he will not talk at all
New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

"Tm in quandary for an appro-
pirate character in which to 60 to the
New Years ball." "You might go
as a good resolution" Puck
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

That young Miss Newdle to whom
you were paying so much attention
last evening, Leon" said his mother
talks very ungrammatlcally."
Thunder !" exclaimed the young
man. "She dosent need to know any
thing about grammar, mother. She
owns a gas well.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

"What did your girl give you for
Christmas ?" "a hint" "And what
did you give her ?" "The shake. -
Philadelphia Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

The Lord knew what was best for
mans peace of mind when he failed
to put eyes in the back of his head
Atchison Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
WIT AND HUM0R.

The worse thing in the mince pie is
the edream.-Pitlsburg Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

We hate to see girls throw kisses.
The average girl is such laundering
bad shot.-Binghamton Leader.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

These days it appears that nothing
succeeds as often as failure.-Scranton
Truth.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

Daily. Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains.
J.wHITING, Ticket Agent.
owl RUaGLEs, G. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

A Jackpot is vessel often used for
roasting greens. -Binghamton Re-
publican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

You need help to raise laugh, but
you can heave a sigh alone.-Indian-
apolis journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

1t is a little singular that there is
always something perilous about a
safe robbery.-Boston Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

The more the girls pine for some
young men the more spruce they be-
come.-Epoch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-01-14

Water is the emblem of truth, but
the soap men always use it in making
a lye.-Binghamton Leader,
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
use the plaino-t Language.

.Ihaye often noticed says "A writer
in tho New York Continent, that
Young people have n way OF porting
over dictionaries and books for the
purpose OF finding high-sounding and
uncommon words 10 use in mysufying
and crushing their plain-spoken friends,
Nothing more clearly indicates bad
taste and lack OF education. Ignorant
negroes are always listening for new
words. but poverty OF thought cannot
be disguised in prodigality OF long
and luxuriant words. To a man OF
ideas the use OF uncommon words Is
detriment. lie wants the ability 70
express himself. but should use only
the simplest words, 40 that his idea
can be- the more readily understood
and comprehended by the greatess
possible number OF people. AZ your
language becomes more refined. ~
vulgar people say, your circle Oh
listeners narrows down, and you have
not even the satisfaction OF knowing
that YOU have the very best audience.
as many of the brightest and strongest
intellects have not received the oeS'
educations. A man OF ideas has nc
need of many or attractive words.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10

Who can tell the value OF smileF
IL costs the giver nothing, but Is be-
yond price to the erring and unrelent-
ing. the sad and cherries, tho lost
and forsakon. IL disarms malice SUD
dues temper. and turns hatred to love-
revenge TO kindness, and payes inc
darkest path with gems OF sunlight. q
smile on fhe brow betrays klhd
heart, a pleasant friend, an ahection-
ate brother, dutiiul son and happy
husband. IL adds charm 10 beauty
decorates the face OF the deiormea'
and makes lovely woman resemble
an angel in paradise. Farm ant
Preside.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10

See your wife ns seldom as possible.
II she Is warm-hoarted and cheerful
in temper. or II. after day or
weeks absence. she meets you with
smiling face, and In AN atfectionate
manner. be sure 10 look coldly upon
her. and answer her with monosyl-
tables. II she forces back her tears,
and a resolved 20 look cheerful sit
down and cape in her presence, till she
Il fully convinced OF your Indifference.
Mover think you have anything to do
10 make her happy but that her hap
piness Il 10 now from gratifying your
caprices; and when she has done all a
woman can do. bo sure you do not APP
pear gratihcd. Never take an Interest
in any Of her pursuits; and II she asks
your advice. make her feel that she II
troublesome and impertinent II she
attempts 10 rally you good humoredly
on any OF her peculiarities. never join
her in the laugh, but frown her int
silence. n you follow these directions
YOU may be certain Of an obedient ant
heartbroken wife.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
Ala Tho pl.ch ars.a PRISONER.

The Prison Ass Ociation OF New York
has been before the public Tor nearly
hnlf a century. IL haSi helped thou-
sands of discharged prisoners intro
duced improvements into our penal
system; given its moral support 70
such institutions as the Elmlra nc
formatory and the Bttrnham INDUS
trial Farm; and Is to-day doing the
largest special work OF any prison
association In the worlo, with the ex-
cention. perhaps, OF the National
Prison Association OF the United
States which was an out growth OF It's
own work. Its work h as increased
vastly during the last tvs years, and
although It's old friends have been
staunch In supplying its needs. Its IN
come Is not large enough TO meet Tue
demands upon IL. The Association IL
already somewhat In dett. and must
modify its work unless 1t receives ala
from the public. Since occupying It's
own building IL has been tiaditlon
of the Association TO turn away nc
worthy man who gave evidence OF
yish 20 reform. IL has furnished
thousands OF days work; has clothed
hundreds OF mon; has furnished books
10 prison and jail libraries; and ma
Instituted a careful inspection OF pena
institutious. It's work Is OF cconomi'
yolue. every criminal who Is helpe'
20 reform through It's agency cease
to he a menace TO society. Tho frls
ON Association knows no creed, NJ
race. its work Is ono OF the broades
complexion. and. as such, II appeal
Ill classes. Christian Union.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
Eternal Peace.

II our God and Father dwells IN
eternal peace in himself, he must also
be the God of peace in all dealings
with his creatures, even the worst OF
them. lie must long to make them
like himself, both in character ana IN
blessedness; and TO this idea agrees
the whole teaching OF the New Testa-
ment and OF the Old Testament also.
This peace OF God breathed into the
soul by God himself, and becoming
bond OF good will between man ana
man, constitutes bond between ~
ton and nation. and brings the i0orfo
into unity and peace. -ChrisVar
Union.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
Bear Your burden.

II can't bear this afliiction, said
weeping father who had just buried
dear son whom he tenderly loved
yes, YOU can, and you must, and you
will said godly woman IN reply
20 him. you love God, and he loves
you. and he will help you TO bear II,
and YOU will In this world or the next
see that il was best that you should
bear IL. That idea brought comfort
To his stricken soul, aud he did bear
the affection In the sweet thought
that God "doelh all things well
even when he ahlicts those he loves
an. means TO save.-Signs OF the
Times.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
rniih tho MninsprIng.

Faith, which Is the source Of so
much human happiness, Is the main
spring OF human activity. 10 moves
more than half the machinery OF life.
What leads the husbandman, for
example, to yoke his horses, when, no
bud bursting 20 clothe the naked
trees. no bird singing in the hedge
rows or frosty skies. Nature seems
dead? With faith In the regularity OF
her laws, in the ordinance Of her God,
he believes that she Is not dead but
sleepeth; and so he plows ancl sows In
the certain expectation that he shall
reap and that these bare fields shall
be green In summer with waving corn,
and be merry in autumn with sun
Drowned reapers. The farmer Is
man of faith. So Is the seaman. NO
Drawer man than he who goes down to
see Gods wonders in the deep.
Venturing his frail bark on sea
ploughed by so many keels. but wear
ING on its bosom tho burrows Oh
none, with neither path To iol-
low nor star TO guide. the mariner
knows no fear. Whom the last blue
hill has dipped beneath the wave, and
he Is alone on the al oreless sea, ne Is
calm and confident - his faith In the
compass-needle. which, however his
ship may turn. or roll, or plunge ever
points true TO the north. An example
his TO be followed by the Christian
with his Bible; on that faith ventur-
ing his ell, life, crew and cargo ne
steers his way boldly through darkest
nights and stormiest oceans, win
nothing but thin plank between
him and the grave. And though
neutrality-suspicious. and divines have IN
volved this matter OF faith in mystery
be assured there is nothing more
needed for your salvation or mine
than that God woul A inspire us VIII
n belief in the declaration oil M
Word as real, hear tfelt, and praetica
as that which wo Put In the laws Q
Proyidence--in the due return OF da
and night summer and winter, SEED
time and harvest. Thomas Guthrie.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
anad Adxiee.

Be generous. be cultured. be posi-
tive. be polite. DO sincere, be just. be
honest, be loyal TO right. be guarded
In words, be sincere In all you do or
say. be temperate. be jealous. be IN
dustrious. be economical but not
stingy. be worthy man or woman
and you will have hold on humanity
that no enemy can destroy and no Toe
but death undermine; and even when
called from earth your friends will be
left TO class you with the blessed
aye. an honest man and a pure ano
spotless woman. arc jewels In any
sphere. 10 one; you can II you Sc
will. Farmers Friend.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
SLEEPING UNDER THE SNOW.
Two Interesting Cases showing what
women Can Live Through.

The case Of Mrs Elizabeth Wood
cock. who survived long burial under
snow may bo known 10 many readers.
This woman ~ years OF age OF Imp
ington, Il village three miles north OF
Cambridge. lost her way In returning
home from market on Saturday even
ing February ?, 1899. and was buried
seven feet deep In the snow. In TINS
state she continued eight nights and
eight DAYS. when she was dug out alive
ON February 10. She retained the full
possession OF her senses all the while
She was immurcd. She died July "a
1899.
A somewhat similar case occurred In
the snowstorm OF November, 1890. a
middle-aged woman. named Alice jane
Lowe. belonging 10 Wigan, was admit
ted into Spalding workhouse In a very
weak state, having been found by the
relieving officer sleeping out In the
snow I'm the Lincolnshire Fens, near
Spalding. She was put 10 bed, and
then stated that she had slept out for
five weeks continuously, including
within the last few days, the severest
weather OF the year, when the snow
covered the ground TO the depth o.
nearly foot.
The poor woman's hair was In such
n matted state that II had 70 be all Gu
of She stated that she had trampec
from Lancashire. whore she had for
merly been in domestic service, and a
the time she was found in the snow sh'
appeared TO have lost her way. In
workhouse officials consider II most re
markable that the woman survived TN
exposure and cold.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10

Poor little rose pity you
Sweet as Oporto's wine when trulty
Tortured an evil hour or two
Just 10 adorn wilful beauty.
know her well, too well, alas
(Just watch tho fairy AS she dancesl
She wears my heart-but let that pass
It's dead She killed IL with her glances
Your fate. poor rose. is such as mime
To bc dispised when you are faded,
Yet she's an angel-half divine
And still an equal half degraded.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10

stonewnn Jackson's Union Father-in-iaw
In Danger.

btonownii Jacksou's Union tnthcr-ln-inW
In Danger.
+. ID. Ludwig OF Erie. Pa. grew TO
manhood In Rockbridge county, Va.
and just before tho war was u teacher
In the Sunday school OF which Stone
wall" jackson was superintendent In
conversation Mr.. Ludwig said:
Thomas Jonathan jackson. that
was .Stonewall's full name. was pro-
fessor OF mathematics and artillery
practice in the Washington college OF
Lexington. and his father-in-law, DIR.
George Junklin. was president OF the
college. President Junklin was an
incorporating Union man. and just
before the war when the secession
spirit ran very high, party OF stu
dents one night raised rebel flag over
the dome OF the college. When DIR.
Junklin came down next morning anC
saw the Nag he ordered the janitor TO
/ take IL down. The students told the
ianitor that II he took the flag down
they would kill him, and he refused
DIR. Junklin, although upwards oil
20 years old. mounted 10 the dome,
cut the halliards and brought the Nag
down. Stepping into the balcony, he
lighted match, set fire TO the flag,
and. as IL burned. said in clear voice
that was heard by all below: so may
all attempts 10 destroy the Fedora
Union end
"He was at once seized by y GROVE
Of the Infatuated students and citizens
and IL required all the energy OF hi
son-in-law. Stonewall Jackson, and
number OF others TO prevent his being
hanged on the spot. A compromis'
was arranged by which he WIS TO leav
the state. He hastily entered HI
family carriage, and, with what fey
effects he could lay his hand
upon readily, set out for Harper
Ferry, escorted by his friends. Whe
he had crossed the river he stoppe
, the carriage and directed the driver
/. wash every particle OF Virginia so
'. from its wheels and body,
Now. there's n true story col
, cluded Mr. Ludwig, and one that
!. don't believe ever appeared in print.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10
SOUND Logic.

When we expect OF any Individual
more than he can perform, and lei
him feel that we do. we do him n seri-
Gus injury and weaken our whole IN,
fuence over him. IL Is species OF
onpression which produces discour-
agement. and often leads the one VINO
has depended on this stimulus 70 give
nm his efforts In despair "Oi what
use Is Il to try TO satisfy one who de,
mauds impossibilitiesP' he says, and
the endeayor ceases. IN. \ Leuser'
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-10-10

Wavering faith never waits on Goa.
Purity OF heart is the source OF true
joy.
Sin is the source OF all shame, sor-
row and real danger.
Each Christian should live on earth
as In the visible presence OF God.
A godly life is truly honorable
unspeakably blessed and absolutely
safe.
Those who would be strong In the
Lord. must keep the unity OF the
Spirit.
Love Is unlike deposit in the
bank. The more you draw on IT, the
more there is in it.-Texas Baptist
and Herald.