The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-04-28
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.

More files are caught by honey than
BY vinegar, It's true;
But If that's the game one would be at,
Philadelphia Times.
Tolerably Good Ones, Too.-Colonel Ru-
DIM will probably notice that this Cavern
ment prepares diplomatic letters While he
Washington Post
Ha,fseas-Yes, never stay very late for
l know there's a little wife waiting at home
for me-. Henry Peek-And | never forget
that there's little wife who comes after
Inc.
An Innocent: FTank-Your chaperone has
been hunting about for a long time; has she
lost something? May-Olly her specta-
cles: hid them when heard you ring.-N.
Y. World.
Plain. Solid Argument: Judge-Now, then,
McCOrrigle, no prevaricatiOn. Tell US all
that passed between you and the defendant.
McCorrigle-Brickbats, yer honor; jist brick
bats.-Judge.
She entered the car and quite recklessly chung
To strap that before me conveniently hung,
Till perforce, arose aud resigned her my seat;
had TO- because there were corns on my feet;
On Chaperones: Jack-Chaperone are a
sort of social fire brigade. Tom - What
makes you say so? Jack-When our hearts
are aflame with love they throw cold water
on us.-N. Y. Herald.
Mr.. Goslow Uppers, the shoemaker
around the corner has lust married his
fourth wife. Mrs. GoslOw-YOu don't mean
to tell me. Well, hope he will follow the
advice given to shoemakers and stick to his
last.
Maud-This book on "health" says young
girls who wish to have bright eyes and rosy
cheeks should take a tramp through the
woods each morning before breakfast
Gladys-'Sposs the tramp should object.-N.
I. Herald.
Love is as blind as bat, they say,
But facts all so TO show
That Love, Ike the bat, is blind in the light.
But Love- like the bat, see at night
When the gas Is turned down lo@
Plenty Like Her: Miss Numbernine-Mrs
Lakeside has the fatal gift of beauty. Jack
Corner-HoW is that? Miss Numbernine-
It makes her husband so fond of her that
she hasn't the nerve to apply for divorce.
n. Y. Herald.
Rich uncle You might as we'll stop
moaning about Miss Beauty. She hasn't
been in love with you, after all. She's been
after the money she thought you would In
herlt from me. Nephew = lmDOsslblel
Why do you think so? Rich uncle-I have
proposed TO her myself and been accepted.
IN. Y. Weekly.
Uncle of the Bride Ito stranger)-Wont
you have some refreshment? Stranger
Nc, thank you, sir. (Contidentially) Pm the
detective, sir. Uncle of the Bride genially)
Oh. never mind. Between you and me,
the diamonds are all paste. Stranger-l
know IT, sir; but I'm here to gre them
tOne.-London Globe.
he called her little Sweetle"
When the arrow pierced his heart
But saw, when he had married her,
She was little tart.-Harper's Bazaar.
He snatehed kiss-from cheek to brow:
Until he said '''Tis April now
You know, dear May, and sug ar's free"
Cape Cod Item.
Consult the Owner-A girl in Kentucky
has recovered $500 damages from steam
boat company for naming boat after her
without asking her permission. and they
must rename the boat She took offense at
marine item stating that Kittie Marshal
took the lower chute, and run her nose into
ation."-Detroit Free Press,
The Hub Heard From: Ariadne-Well,
Penelope, did you go over to the Greek play
at New Haven? Penelope-Yes. 1t was
horrible. Absolutely no attention was paid
10 the circumfeXes by the players, and as
for the aspirates they were woefully mis-
placed. However, what could you expect
New Haven is not Cambridge. Philadelphia
Star.
An Unpleasant Subject: Mrs. BrIckrow-
i met Mr. Intrade yesterday and was dis
gusted by the way he talked Mrs. Brown
BtOne-Horrorsl You do not associate with
such people, do your They always talk
shop. Mrs. BrickroW-Yes, as was say
ing, / was disguised at his talk. The idea
of his saying you'd been owing him money
for five years and he never expected to get q
cent of it.-Street & Smiths Good News.