The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1891-07-21
VARIETY.

Speaking of requests, Mr.. Glad
stone recently said; "What is
wrested from NE by the grip of
death can in no true sense be
said to give"
Student: Would you perhaps
buy this Greek dietionary?" Anti
quarry: Il am sorry, but l buy only
whole Libraries" Student: "Just so.
This book is the whole OF my IL
brary."
An Appropriate Costume. =
"What was the idea of dressing the
little page ut the Revere wedding
ike 4 Western desperate? "O6,
he was TO hold up the train, You
know"
Maud: No girl could have re-
fused han if he had proposed TO her
as sweetly rs he did 10 me-" Mary:
But you must remember, dear,
that he had 4 great deal of experl-
ence."
Sufficient Cause" Is he really
your rival ;" Yes" Great
Scott! If had 2 rival that looked
like that do you know what
would dO?" No" I'D give up
the girl"
Anxious mother: As | passed
the parIor door last evening 1 saw
Mr.. Nicefellow's face very, very,
close TO yours" Lovely daughter:
Yes, Ma, he's so near-sighted. "
Good News.
The seven canons of the line art
OF advertising. "the seven lamps of
publicity, are seen to be: Simpli-
city, news quality, originality, indi-
viduality. iteration, sincerity and
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Teacher: {" Freddy FaDgle, you
may give the German name of the
River Danube" Freddy: dunno"
Donau; that is right; 1 am glad
you have studied your lesson so
well. FREDDY is surprised, but
keeps stiIl.)
Miss Sharpe Your friend
Wooden reminds me so much OF
the learned professions. Bulfnch !:
"Ah, he'll be glad to hear it but
in what way Miss Sharpe /:
why, there is so much room at
the top"
1t requires tact to say the right
thing in the right place." BIinkers
remarked. didaetically. Yes, !"
replied Slocum; " that same idea
occurred to me when you were dis
cusslng eorn-salve at breakfast this
morning"
Sambo: & What did the doctah
say allied We mostly. BiIl?" Bill:
s. He lowed that I had confagra-
ton Oh diseases. Fust, the saliva
ton CLANS don't insist nay indiges-
ton; dat makes a torpedo liver,
sose I'm liable to go off any min
ute. Texas SIftings."
4 walk down the Albany Turn
pike, from Tarrytown to Dobbs'
Ferry in Westchester County, is
one past the residence OF more mil
lionaires than any other walk of
six miles in the world. By actual
count, there are sixty-six million
aires located IN that yicInitY-N.
Z. Times.
Passerby: 1 heard there was
schism in your church recently,
Uncle Joab." Uncle Joab: "No, sab,
no, sab: deg amt no trufe in dat
story. We foun' a hornets mes in
de pulpit las summer, but / amt
seen no sech animal as dat one you
speak Of sence [ ben de sexton. =
Pack.
Flossy is a little girl whose ideas
are yet crude, but she is very Curl
Gus. SIS all OF US made Of dust,
mammal" she asked the other day.
yes. Flossy." @Little babies, too?"
yes" She was silent for mo-
ment. Mamma, she said, "Heaven
must be q drefful dusty place. -
Detroit Fee Press.
Impassioned Lover-TclI me, my
angel, what to do tc prove my love.
Oh, that | might, like some knight
Of old, battle for you, suffer for you,
die for you. Sweet Girl wish
you would give up smoking. I'm
passIoned Lover--Oh, come now,
that's asking too much
An Egyptian mas been detected
making counterfeit mummies out Of
the skins Of asses. The fellow had
carried on Z profitable trade while
it lasted. and It IS a pity it was
broken up, for there is no good