St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-05
The ARIZONA kicker"

NJ. Quad.
Wanted.-The Kicker wants to engage
a spirited and enterprising young man
who is not afraid of work and is ambi-
tious TO build himself up, to act as
collector. We have about 5000 standing
out, and will furnish mite and two
reVolverS as an outfit free of expense.
The collector will be allowed to retain
half of his collections.
We regard this as splendid opening
for some ambitious Eastern man who
wants to work up in Journalism. He
will no doubt be shot at fifty times for
every hundred dollars he collects, but
if he's got the right sort of sand he'll
pull through and come out Oh top Of the
heap.
After we've given him dozen lessons
OH getting the drop. and he's had
couple of days acquaintance with our
mule, We'll back him to tackle any one
of our nOn-paYing subscribers outside
of a riiie-pit. III case of death we guar
antee fail to medium funeral. Apply
at once.
At 1t Again.-As is we'll known to the
readers of the Kicker we have private
graveyard with ten graves in it. The
ten graves represent ten different men
who were mistaken in sizing us up for
All editor without backbone. We did
the fair thing in each aid every case
sending for the cOroner-buying a coffin
turning out the boys in procession.
and so on. The average cost has been
$27 per funeral, and that's rich for this
locality.
Our contemporary, who has never
shot man. has been insaneiy jealous
of our plant" out OH the Sand-lotS, and
on two occasions before last night has
been caught trying to steal some of the
| hPad-bOardS to start graveyard of his
own. AT 10 o'clock last night we re-
ceive1 word that he was out there
| again. We mounted our mule and rode
| out. He had just commenced opera
tons. He had his old mule hitched to
the fence, and took the alarm and
mounted before we got up. We run
him seven miles, but his mule was the
fastest and he got away.
We want TO be neighbOrly as an ed
itOr, but we also want this old lOp
ShOuldered. bOw-legged hyena to thor
Ougnly understand that he has at last
made us tired, and that any further
fOOling around on his part will leave his
milk-andwa old sheet without &
head.
1t Was a Falure-We got a sly
hint several days ago that the post
master of this town. whom we have haC
to shoot i'll three different places within
a year, in order TO expedite the mai
service and prevent him from watkins
on us, had sent over to Tubac to get
man to do us up. The routine OF get
ting out one of the biggest and bright
est weekly papers i'll America (subscrip
ton payable in advance) went on Jus
the same, however, and we didn't de-
any private or confidential Worrying.
All the forenoon yesterday we hearC
some one hollering around the street,
for gore, and upon inquiry learned thai
1t was the man from Tubar. He wa,
reported as being a real. old-fashioneC
terror from Grizzly mountain, with hi,
tOenails dyed red and his eyes shinin.
like two camp fires, and that he wa.
also looking for us. We were neve
more calm or serene. We sent to on
gravedigger to eXcavate another hole
and wrote to Steve Williams, the under
taker, to varnish up a whitewood 2x,
and get the trimmings Oh.
1t was about 4 O'Clock in the after
noon when we finished our editoria
labors for that day and started out for
Saunter. Just as we turned into Sion,
place the man from Tubac Jumped GU
on US from doorway and started in t.
secure our right ear as relic We sa
up WIN MIN most of the night las
night. One Of the bullets has been eX
tracted, but the other couldn't b.
reached with three-foot stick. Unles
Inflammation sets i'll he will very liker
pull through; If he does he assures u
that he will be a changed man.
He wouldn't exactly say that the post
master gave him $50 to come over ant
humble our proud editorial spirit, bu
he said enough to satisfy US that W,
must run over tomorrow and have an
other pop at Mr.. Wanaker's man
He's getting too colIish again.