The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-10-02
WISE AND OTHERWIsk.

CSf'SclcSS luuSlC VI Il COllC-Sun6IlHB DdDy'
DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup will relieve the
little sufferer at once.
Every one who has expressed his opin-
ion praises the virtues of Laxador, the
golden specific for all liver and stomach
disorders. Price % cents.
Most people ask advice in order to Sc
cure some confirmation of their own de-
cisions.
81 want drink" means one thing in
the country and something else in town.
When the seizure officers visit saloon
they usually are on rummaging expe-
dition.
Teacher, in grammar class-"Tommy,
correct the sentence, 1 kissed Susan
onct.'" Tommy, promptly-"I kissed
Susan twict."
A God-send is Ely's Cream Balm.
had catarrh for three years. Two or
three times week my nose would bleed.
l thought the sores would never heal.
Your Balm has cured me,--Mrs. NJ. A.
Jackson, Portsmouth, N. H.
Twas so much troubled with catarrh
it seriously effected my voice. One bot
tie of Ely's Cream Balm did the work.
My voice is fully restored.-B. F. Lieps-
ner, A. NJ, pastor of the Olivet Baptist
church, Philadelphia, Pa.
$50 you live in ChicagoP" yes"
Are you interested in the fair?" you
bet, I'm engaged to three of em at pres
ent."
"They have a skeleton in their closet, l
am certain" you are wrong. 1t is
one of those patent dress forms. l saw
it myself"
Hell have had you in mind a good
deal lately, Miss Helen. She-You al
ways did try to make me feel small, Mr..
Chump.
Some one says poets are declining;"
this is evidently mistake. Every poet
will tell you that it is the editors who
are declining
1t always spoils the effect of the ser
mon on man when he intends to put a
nickel on the plate and absent-mindedly
puts on a quarter.
Occasional Only-Tenant: Does this
chimney always smoke like that?"
Landlord-Oh, no, only when there's a
fire in the CRATE.
Father" asked a boy, "why do they
call this place the Exchanged" Because
my son, it is where we exchange money
for experience"
An Editors Pleasures-Visitor: Don't
you enjoy sitting on "a spring chairF
Editor-Yes; almost as much as sitting
on spring poet
She-What are the REQUESTS in col
lege examination, Mr.. Youngblood? He
"A man of my size has to train down to
155, understand.
Marked Down-George: A penny for
for your thoughts, Jessie. Jessie-All
right, that's bargain. George-Well
what were you thinking of? Jessie
You!
'Do you weally believe in drawing the
color line, Miss Weston?" asked Cholly.
''Yes, object to people being green"
she replied coldly.
Just see that trombone player. His
face is as red as beet from blowing so
hard" Eyes, he certainly ought to
know what is meant by strains of mu-
sic.'
The Wrong Flavor-Mrs. Beach: l
think you made slight mistake. Gro
cer-How so, madam! Mrs. Beach
This sand tastes salty. 1 wanted it
sweetened.
"But, Marie, my DEAR" said her moth
er, Harlow is extravagant." Better
that than meanness, mother. Extrava-
gance may be curbed, but meanness is
indestructible."
All the difference in the World-She
(suggestively)-They say the little birds
have all mated before this" He-"Yes;
but bless you, but think how few ex-
penses they have!'
Miss Rapsody-You are fond of music,
captainP Captain Barnes of the 1O5th
United States Artillery-Well, yes; in
fact, think may say like noise of
any kind.
Editor-in- Chief Ito managing editor)-
/ understand that James has resigned.
Managing Editor-James has abdicated,
sir, not resigned. James, you know, was
Office boy.
"What are you always following me
around for?' demanded the earth impa-
tiently of the moon. "Oh, get few
quarters and halves by doing so, re-
piled the moon nonchalantly.
A Wary Player-Jackson: FL yo am
broke, Sam, put up yoah razzer, and I'll
glib yo' five chips on it. Johnson
What's datP An leave me 'tirely at your
mercy? Not much, sab?
She had no Desire to Match Him-Mrs
Pendergrast, in disgust: You call these
shades alike! Is there anything you can
match? Mr.. Pendergrast-Yes. Pen
MES.
Uncle George - Come, Harry, you
should forsake your wild ways. 1t is
time you were settled. Harly-And be
like bill after it is settled-laid away
and never thought of again. No thanks.
Chappie, returning from the seaside
What is the mattah, deah boy? What
made you faint? Cholly, feebly, but
happily-Found quattah in one of me
nocLats oT feI-found n ouattah