The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-09-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Otui llbblC tllllko-CAethiOAAo UOhs
Because you feel good is no reason you
are. Pittsbttrg Post.
You can buy fine kt. diamond for
$500, if you have the $500.
Every married man is a hero to some
bachelor. -Bu6alo ETpreSs.
The laborer is worthy of his hire,
the student of his lore.-BjnghGmtO
Leader.
The undertaken is gambler who
usually wins the die.-Binghamto Re-
publican.
The man who is master of himself
always has "help" that he can depend
upon.--Puck.
1t is when straws are made up into
hats that they show which way the wind
blows.-Lye.
The decd of an incendiary is correctly
referred to as a "burning shame. At
lanta Journal. -
The dea: mute should express hinfsseGiai
in musical language; he uses hand Or
gan of speech.
Always hope for the best. You will
never get it, SO there will be no excuse
for abandoning hope.-Puck.
Though "make hay while the sun shines"
is proverb neglected.
snake love while the moon shines"
Is forever respected.
Washington Post.
Girls should bear in mind that haul.
ing young men over the Goals does not
tend to make them pop.-Detron FFa
Press.
Handsome is as handsome does. A
> five-cent fan will give as good breeze
as one all gold and feathers. boston
Transcript.
| When a man wears an air of resigna,
ton, he may be suspected of being
bank officer about to visit Canada
Ieras SytiRgs.
Capital and labor could get on well
enough together if there were not SO
many men trying to get capital without
labor.-Teras SJtin9S.
He loved her, but her scornful laugh
Emhitters now his lot;
He tried to take her photograph
And showed her what he got
Washington Post.
When we come to reflect how hard II
is to keep down the natural instincts
isn't it lucky thing there are no Indian
hair-cutters or barbers9 Philadelphia
Times.
''lt is very strange" said the amateur
gardener; ~ planted radishes there, and
nothing but lot of green stalks have
come up, with not radish or sign of
blossom on 'em. "-Puck.
Dashaway-"T hear that you upset
some soup on Miss Palisades dress at the
dinner last night" Stutfer-"Yes; aud
was fearlully put out about it. You
know it isn't polite to ask for soup
twice. - Cloak ReOie,o.
Gentlemen-"But Pm afraid h,
wouldn't make good Watchdog
Man with Pup-"Why, bless yer art,
it was only las week that this ere werJ
animal held burglar down by the
throat and beat his brains out with his
taIl. '--Brooklyn Life.
"You couldn't guess my age, now,
could you2" said Miss Passiegh to Billy
Bliven. "No," was the reply, al am
Hhit GOulh uOls i nave seen IlSL
twenty-five years." ''l say, Billy" NUT.
tered Dick Sniggens, at his elbow, ''ask
her how many years she was blind. -
Washington Post.
81 say" said Gus De Jay, as he laid
the paper across his knees, ''ths article
says that flood of intelligence is going
to sweep the country "Well, deah
boy, don't let it worry you, replied
Willie Washington. "You're no. likely
to be any hood-sulerer, you know. -
Washington Post.
GLOW did your revival over at Apache
Gulch pan out2' "Wen," answered the
Arizona evangelist, 'it wasn't exactly
success. At the third meeting / hap
pened to say that l believed Apache
Gulch was the wickedest place of its size
on earth. After that my words fell flat.
IL was the first time the town had been
rated as first class IN anything, aud they
didn't care to lose the distinction. n-Ia-
dianaPoiis Journal.
A little girl who is lust learning to
read short words, takes great interest in
the big letters she sees in newspapers.
The other evening, after she had kept
her mamma busy reading the advertise
ments in the newspapers TO her, she knelf
down 20 say her prayers. "Lord"
lisped, SNAKE me purel" Then "
tated aud went on, with fer
ment latter, "Alake me {"
like baking powder"
tsr,