The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1891-09-09

Have Boon Recently Born Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd. Curious ami
Laughabio.
A severe TIE {.
Neighbor do you like your
aew neighbors?
Little Girl-Mamma says they is aw-
full nice people, real polite, an Chris
Ian.
"Has she called 2"
"No, but we've sent in 70 borrow a
dozen different things, an they didn't
,nce say they was just out"
He Was the Wrong Man.
Patient What kept you away so
ong, Doctor? I've waited for you for
i've hours.
Country Doctor-Why, the fact is
ny wife was busy curing hams and
needed my assistance.
Patient-She ought to have called
other help if she wanted em cured and
III tell her o.-PhdTm dceltticGl Era.
Lookin. Outward
The Western magistrate You are
,harged, sir, with killing six of our
What have you to say?
Prisoner-They were all of 'em rich
old penny-grabIe rs wot was leavi1' the
best buildin' sites in town lie idle, wait
is fer higher price.
"Well 2"
well, your Honor, belong to the
village improvement society"
Distance by To iium.
Cousin Phil-What made you tell
me Mrs. Jenkins lived twenty minutes
from Fenno's corner? You led me O
'ong walk for nothing. You'd have
been more correct to have said three.
Ethel-Is that so? / am sorry. But,
you see, l walked the distance only
once, and then in company with young
DIR. Tomkins, who talked medicine all
the way.-PharudcelticGL Era.
Hi. weakness.
"Who made your" asked the Sun
day school teacher of youth from Pell
street.
81 don't know" was the reply.
well, God made you" said the
teacher.
THAT so ?" replied the boy. Il b'lieve
I've heard that before, but I'm like me
old man-never was no good at remem-
BERN names. "-DrdkeS Magazine.
Two EOys
Little Daughter mamma, didn't
you say Dick mustn't go with that
neighbours boy?
Mamma-Indeed / did
well, he's with him behind the
barn smoking cigarettes.
Horrors! Is that dirty-faced boy
teaching Dick to smoke cigarettes ?"
"No'm. Dicks teachin' him"
Vastly Different.
Mrs. Hicks Mother-John, what
kind of treatment do You call it for you
to yell "Sicker, Tige," when your poor
mother-in-law falls into the water and
is in danger of drowning?
Hicks latter reflection u didn't yell
"Sicker, Tige;" L yelled "Succor,
Tige."
Extweemly Clevah.
First Chappie-Oh, my deah boy;
hel he! he! 1 have You now. Why
was Balaam an astronomer? He hel
Second Chappie-Give it up, muh
deah boy.
First Chappie-Why, because he
found-he! he! hel-an ass to roid,
don't yuh know he he he!-.Smith,
Gray Dc Co.'S Monthly.
The Reason Why.
"Your letters do not seem so bright
and interesting as they used to be-
she wrote, reproachfully, to her young
man, and the young man unused softly
to himself
That's strange; they used to be
perfectly satisfactory to the other
girl. "-SomerUiHe Journal.
Tho Rage Explained.
Hardnut-Liston to this, pard.
He, e's fashion note says "thsre is
rage for souvenir spoons"
Lightfinger-That's official, by Jovel
been an tapped the silver pantry, ell,
old boy ?-YonkerS Gazette.
TO BE worI Together.
Mrs. Bangle-I notice by the news
papers that hand-painted shirt fronts
are coming in for men.
Bangle Wouldn't they go we'll with
custard pie decorated picnic trousers?
Telegraph.
Model Husband.
Pulley pride myself that am
model husband.
Grayneck what respect?
Puffiey-Well, know that nothing
gives my wife so much pleasure as to
do things for me, so / let her do every
thing for me.
Drew the Line.
Miss Smilax-I like TO waltz with
you, Mr.. Wooden; but why don't you
ever reverse?
Wooden - Well, L have reverses
enough in my business without bring
ing them into my pleasures.
A Traction Car.
Quidnunc-What's the matter with
this car? This is the third time it's
got off the track. =