The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-11-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY. -
The tramp's style of expression is never
labored. - Washington Star.
Jagson says it's long loan that has no
returning .-Elmira Gazette.
Even the strictest vegetarian believes
it is meet that he SHOULD, eat.-Bost0H
Courier.
We have hair-dressing parlors, and
why not dental drawing -roomsl-Boston
Gazette.
The "balance of the season" is what
troubles paterfamilias. .-Bo5ton Common
scedlth.
"No, Gubbins, you will never be a
brain-worker." "Wby notl" Haven't
got the tools. ."-DaascNle Breeze.
There's one good thing bad boy
won't take, aud that is good advice.--
Richmond Record.
The dear hunting season has been trans
ferred from the beach to the drawings
room. Pittsburg Dispatch.
In the world of fashion every old hen
has her set. And they manage to hatch
out a good deal of mischief.-Teras
SJtings.
The barber who will invent style of
whiskers which the wind can't blow
through has fortune awaiting him.
Buffalo Erpress.
$50 you live in Chicago2' eyes"
care you interested in the fair1" "You
bet, Pm engaged to three of 'em at pres
ent."-Cape Cop Item.
Some one says "poets arc declining;"
this is evidently q mistake. Every poet
will tell you that 1t is the editors who
are declining. Richmond Recorder. ,
The young man who says Ethan
youn when the girl he '-"'
promised to be his wife
say it in words. .-SomereiHe
He took the coin they gave him
Its looks he could not trust;
He raised it to his lips with care
Twas thus he bit the dust.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Pendergrast lin disgust )--"You
call these shades alike! Is there anything
you can match2" Mr.. Preudergrast--
"Yes. Pennies. ."--Rate Ffe'd's. Washing
ton. a
"Father," asked q boy, "why do they,
call this place the Exchanged" ''Be-l
cause, my son, it is where we exchange
money for experience, ,"--Bos,oa Bul-
letin.
He (seriouslD-"Do you think your
father would object to my marrying
you9" She-'T don't know. If he is
anything like me he would. ."-BrooElyn
Life.
If some people were to do unto others
as they would have Others do to them
they would not have a single moment in
which to look out for Themselves
Dallas Ne'os.
''You had better accept N. rHippIe,"
said Mrs. Elder to sner daughter; ait is
your last chance" "You think this is
the court of last resort, do you, mamma,"
asked the girl.-Detr0t Free Press.
Editor.in. Chief Ito managing editor)
81 understand that James has re.
signed" Managing Editor-"James has
abdicated, sir, not resigned. James,
you know, was Office boy.n--JiUy.
The husband was reading the news at night
And his wife said; "leil me, pray,
How many baloonists were killed outright
Who made ascenSions to-layY
-Ne,5 York Press.
"H'm-that young man of yours-is
he worth anything, tinaucially?" "Whv.
yes, papa. He is worth at least S3j a
week to the store, he says, though thev
only give him ten. "-ldiaaapolis 10,
nal.
Jinks-"Waite would be a good
to start church" Finkns-
so2n Jinks-"He has sisters enoupL
among our leading families to start a
good sized congregation. "-N,o Yo,A
Herald.
Miss Pearl White-"I wish you to
paint my portrait" " Dohbins-"pm
sorry, ma'am, but | cau't do it." Miss
Pearl White-"Why notl Dobbins-.I
never copy other paintings, - Cincinnati
Gasstte.
First Jeweler-''Do you sell that new
house of Upson, Downs & Col" Second
Jeweler-''No longer; sold them sew
eral large bills. They paid promptly at
maturity, so l stopped. .'--Jereley''s
Circular.
VisitOr-''I have often wanted to visit
lunatic asylum, but I suppose there is
none ia the city" Residcut-"No, but
we've got Board of Trade proudly
Come along, It's in session. 1t will do
just as well. "-B0st0a Hoyall.
First Youth (at railway depon-
"Traveled farin Second Youth-"Not
yet, but l expect to before l stop. am
going west to seek my fortuue,h First
Nouth-'I just got back. Lend me
dime, will youf'-HiasJs CitV Journal.
The small boy always looks with
envlous admiration at the drum major
leading the procession with his goll-
headed baton aud his big bearsllin hat,
but the little fellow with the coruet in
the back row Of tho band gets the big
ger pay.-S0moroilo Journal.
"Can read your paperl" asked the
man In the rear seat. 81 don't know
whether you can or mott replied the
Boston man ahead of him, "but YOU may
try if you choose, and it took the break
man, the news agent aud the conductor
TO separate them. - Iolsd9 BLADE.