St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-08

Al Otners minneapolis:
In vain old Charon tried to stop
Such disgraceful scrap as this.
In vain he vocalized and swore
Then shipped another, happier crew,
And lett them Topping on the shore.
Where still they flop the centuries through
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If the worlds fair does go to indiana the
lie OF Christopher Columbus was O failure.
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The Chicago Tribune asserts that the result
Of the Ohio election was '.honest moneys
victory" The crisp s. bills were honest
| enough, but they were put to dishonest use
in buying up votes for Bill Mckinley
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The arrested oficills of the busted MAYER
lex bank are said to BE- considerably cowed.
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Upon this Sabbath morning.
So holy, pure and bright.
lis sad u think that Sullivan
Is spelling for fight.
Ills said that the S7.9)) chef OF the White
house has received strict orders from g. Har.
rison to supply the plaza of the customary
plump turkey with a boiled ham
They vote all night in Iowa and hang muir
derers in Minnesota just before daylight
It's Il stando fl.
The poor. little, subseryient Republican
nowadays doesn't know whether it is safe to
shout for jim Blaine or Bill Mckinley. He
IS sorely muddled. aad il is of no earthly use
to appeal to Ben Harrison
As the smoke of battle clears away we OBJ
tain clearer yieY of th3 he!d Ex-Czar
Reed spoke in Massachusetts,. That ex-
plains it.
Boston is jlst now in ecstacies over the
advent of q gorgeous doubled ecked stree:
car, richly upholstered. finished in mahog-
ony with quartered-oak ceilings, lighted by
twenty-five sixteen candle power incandes-
cent electric lamps, and heated by eight Bur
ton electric heaters The usual number of
straps for stand up" passengers, however,
are dispiriting.
This may be the electric age" all right
enough, but it certainly takes the average
barber longer to shave the average man than
it did last year at this time
The Flower show in New York was By no
means a holy show. That is what Tom
Plat made of himself
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1t B. HlrTisoa is a t-ine conscience
stricken, and wants 10 get Carnesie's gift off
his hand, we can state forlhs information
that : san Francisco mas cat that d.iaks
whisky instead of water.
Business enterprise iH-the pursuit of an
object * n Rsrri / =. 60
essary to deliberately aud Toolishly lie about
it. Last week lady who had left her board
ing place advertised in the GLoEG Small
Wants for another. She received q letter
from her former landla1y. This opened the
way for friendly he yoiations with the re-
suit that she returned to her recently vacated
boarding house. But this incident, an actual
occurrence with the GLOBE, was seized upon
by al evening paper with the aviditv of an
early spring bat lighting on a June bug, and
published as having been the experience OF
that paper exclusively. The incident, which
was reality with the GLOBE, may have had
an exact duplication in last weeks career of
the said twilight organ. But it is numar-
ously doubted. and by none more so than by
the landlady in question, whose faith in and
loyalty ID the GLOBE Small Wants led to the
above expose.
Chicago judge has entered vigorous
kick against the quarters assigned him for
holding court and, on account OF their
filthy condition. has refused 10 hold court
therein. Let him emigrate to st. Paul The
court rooms here all large, airy, magnificent
and Wholesome, with nothing TO offend eye
or ear excep. the t1ntallzing quarter chimes
in the court house CLOCK. The; alone are
driving men 10 drink ana lowering the prIc,
ofreal estate.
Chicago is now putting up her annull
boast anent her delightful Indian summer
weather. 81 raul OK Minneapolis will match
days with Chicago for the last ten years AMI
beat her i'll the outcome.
Brazil's president, Da Fonseca. acts very
much like L man VINO is wondering where
BaImaceda went to, and wants to join him.
Lord Hawke now Claims that his men lost
the cricket gGme to Philadelphia on account
of sea sickness. But those who witnessed
the yellow playing of the Britons on that
eventful day surmised that they had the
jaundice.
Col. Elliott Fecundity Shepard says. edi
torially: I'VE wish we lived in Ohio" ana
ali New York city fervently responds, NO
ones holding yor back
Duck shooting on the Susquehanna opens
TO morrow, but even ducks are of no particu-
lar use just now in dispelling Bens morbid
melancholy.
Just see how easily it is done. We first
quote from the gilded, giddy humorist of the
Chicago Tribune:
Able Democratic Editor Cat a. m What
is the very latest from Ohio.
Assistant-Its gone Overwhelmingly Re
publican.
Able Democratic Editor (rising TO the
emergency that column and a-half ed
itorial IN The Lesson OF the Election down
TO six inches.
Having satiated your eyesight on the above
picture, please look on this:
Disabled Republican Editor Cat lam
What's the latest from the 'lecIion.
Associate Cripple-New York, Massachu-
sects and Iowa overwhelmingly Democratic
disabled Republican Editor struggling
with sobsj-Cut that column-and-a- half ed
itorial on THE Lesson OF the Election down
TO an Inch and a half aud head it Lesson OF
the Buzz Saw"
in Chicago paper to-day Ella Wheeler
Wilcox will attempt the feat of answering the
question, What is woman's greatest fault:''
" 18th all due defereDce to Mrs. Wilcox, we
contend that great is not an allowable ad-
jective in speaking of womaDs faults Her
few faults are, happily, inliniiesi:nal com
pared TO the gross. glaring, bull-in-a-china-
shop errors of brutal mar. Indeed, woman
is the radiant possessor of that happy COM
bination of human characteristics, mini
Mum OF faults with maximum OF virtues.
Her greatest fault indeed, Compared 10 the
monumental follies of Insecurity. they are
truly micEoscopical.
Director General Divi, has ordered the
worlds fair representative ont OF Chilli. This
prompt stragetie action Leaves Secretar.
Blaine TO Tag supe-luOus Oh Inc stare