Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

"Brings down the house"-A Western
cyclone.
The man who is ''waiting for some
thing to turn up" might turn up his
sleeves and go to work.-Puck
If the lungs contain $4,000, 900 cells,
as contemporary Informs us, why not
use them for penitentiary p West
Shore.
~ understand, Pat, that you have u
big faraily dependent upon you?" "Yis,
sor, tin childers, siven pigs and the old
oman"
"Terrapin," says writer tis an ac-
quired taste" So it is. A taste of ter
rapin is among the most difficult things
to acquire known Washington Post.
The slang that from her lips fell pat,
Oft made her English hazy;
She once was heard to murmur, "that
Chrysanthem um's daisy"
Washington Post
Crawford--"T is IL. ", YOU
know" Merrltt--"And yet / would
sooner have girl who has forty millions
than one who has forty years. y Chieago
Light.
doesn't that man look sheepish!"
asked Mrs. Keedick "Yes, but per-
haps he has had the wool pulled over his
eyes," replied Keedck. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Watts-'sPotts shaves here sometimes,
doesn't he?" Basber--"Y Yes; Mr. Potts
is one of my regular clients" Potts
''Clients Don't you mean patients"-
indianapolis Journal.
-"Fenderson is very enter
tanning fellow; don't you think soH
Fogg-"Ycs, but the deuce of it is you
can't begin to laugh until after he has
gone. Boston Transcript.
Some wag recently started the story
that Mrs. Stanley is about to write a
book entitled "How | Found Stanley"
and she is receiving letters from people
who think it is true.--Ne,o York Tribune.
His Fiancee-"Are you sure you
would love me just os tenderly if our
conditions were reversed-if you were
rich and were poor2" He-"Reverse
our conditions and try me. "-Broo.slyR
Life.
"What is the name of the other vaga-
bond who was with you2" asked the
magistrate. 'tJimmy the Calico. " "How
did he ever g.. name like that?" "Be
cause he won't wash. "-PhiIadetphia
Times.
'Look herel You just jabbed me in
the eye with your umbrella" F" ''Too bad.
Here's my fathers card. He's an eye
doctor, and if you'll use my name he'll
give you bottom rates. ."-PhttadelphiG
Record.
Johnny-"Mr. Hankinson, amt you
shaped just like other menu" MIR. Han
kinson--'I suppose so, Johnny; why9
Papa says you amt exactly square, and
Irene says you seem to be always round"
Chicago Tribune.
Dealer-'I am sure, madame, you
could look the city through and not find
a haudsomer carriage than this" Mrs.
D'Avnoo-"Oh, it's handsome enough,
out it looks too comfortable to be styl-
ish. "-Ne@ York Weekly.
II am going to be indiscreet, Miss
Chicago" ''Oh, you can't be with me,
Mr.. Boston" ''No4 Well, l was just
going to say how elegantly that big
diamond ring does harmonize with your
hands. Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Bingo-''Clara has been shopping
all day. Oh, here is the delivery wagon
with some of the things she has or
dered" Bingo-s'But where is Clara"
Mrs. Bingo-"She is probably waiting
for the change. "-Ne,o York Sun.
The only thing that mars the dandy's
peace of mind is the fact that he isn't
imported, like everything he uses.
Meanwhile, from his lofty place in the
menagerie, the imported monkey looks
down on him, and marves. Puck.
''Do you find enough to keep you
busy these days?" "You bet Pm put
ting in bigger days work these days
than | ever did before" ''Why, |
thought you'd given up your job. +"
$50 did. I'm looking for another"
-Ba1alo Express.
Jack-.Why are you looking so sad?"
Tom--'I saw Maud throwing sly
glances at Harry tonight" Jack
''Cheer up. 1t was doubtless for you
she meant them, though Harry got them.
Women can never throw straight you
know. "--Hoper's Bear.