Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-02-22
DIDN'T LAST LONG.
Mr.. BOWSER'S BRIEF SEASON OF REFORM
SUDDENLY COLLAPSES
The Patient AID Ulc3nplaining VIE is Deeply
Grieved Over Her Husbands Backsliding--Ii
Was Too zach to Expsc, That His Amiabls
Fit Would Las! nr Any Length ofIime.
DdrMf Pre- Pres.

| am deeply pained TO be obliged Il
inform the public that Mr. BOwser la,
had relapse. Il wasn't entirely I'M
expected. but was still something of a
shock. Mr.. Bowser'S good streak
lasted II days. Dttdng that time be
took me to the theatre twice. paid a
millinery bill of Sl2 without word.
raised the cooks wages - cents pei
week, acknowledged that I could buy
groceries cheaper than he could. in.
sisted on allowing me : pin money PEI
week, and was 50 different from hi,
usual self in other was that ! Wa.
quite bewidered. He went away from
the house Saturday moor fairy beam
ing With goodness, and - he reached
the eottoss step lie turned and said
'',Tra-lar chickey. Wei run dows
town This evening and see ;bout getting
some new silyerware."
Whsn he returned ! was - the dool
to meet him and TO greet h,m, bgt he
waved me aside and growled
Come, nov. out don't IL p,ay:nq
baby at your 2ge.'
Are you sick, Mr.. Bowser
NO"
HAS anythi2g happened"
NO. What's the matter th23 srpDe,
ISN'T ready2 l. that good-for-rothine,
/ lazy cook doesnt get up and stir her
stumps more Myely III fire her On a
minutes notice. Mrs. BOwSer. yo"neyer
have any frst-class help in the house,
why, Mr.. Bowser. You told me
only yesterday that Anna was the
'marteSt cook You ever saw in the
ltischen"
Never did, Never said a word
which could be twisted around TO mean
such thing"
And you raised her wages"
u did that 10 smarter her up, but !.
issno use, discharge her tomorrow
AT the table Mr. BowSer found fa-,t
with the biScnit, the tea, the cold meat,
and everything else, and finally called
ont:
Mrs. Bowser are you stone blind?'
"0f course not"
Then how oame you to buy such
honey as this2 Any one but blind
woman could see that it is buckwheat
and.not clover. Why dog wouldn't
to.ch it,"
But you ordered it yourself"
What"
"Xou ordered Il Of Green through the
telephone Thursday. Don't you re-
member you had 20 spell out the word
honey before he could UNDERESTIMATE
"Neyer, Never telephoned Never
spelled out the word Better take 10
out and bury il -
After supper began to get ready TO
90 down town, when he suddenly looked
up from his paper and asked
WHATS up nowE'
"Why, you said we were going down
town this evening"
"You must be crazy, Don't you sup
pose ever want u night 20 sit down and
rest myself? It's d wonder there's 4
woman left alive on earth It's nothing
but CAD, CAD, CAD from morning till
night. What do you want down town?'
"Ycnsaid we'd see about some silver
ware"
"Silverware, SilYerware, Great Scots
but is the woman lunatic. We've got |
bushels of il now in the house. We've
got it IN the closet, down cellar, up
stairs and in the garnet. I'm be the H.
sane asylum next
Mr.. Bowser, didn't you call me
chickcy when you went away at noou?" |
"Chiokey, Never
But you certainly did"
81 certainly didn't, Chickey? Well, !
when get as soft as that ! WANT some |
ice varon 10 run over me-
About o'clock that evening he re-
moved his shoes to put on hi, slippers, /
but suddenly paused and inquired:
is there a darning needle ia this /
house, Mrs. Bowser?'
"Why, certainly"
And piece OF sheep twinc.
"What on earth do YOU want OF sheep
twine"
81 want to darn this hole nay sock.
Some mems wives can see such things
in half an hour, but this enc has been
here three weeks. I've got TO darn 10.
the same as have to sew on my own
buttons. | suppose I'll have To make
the bed and sweep the floor in another
week.
Those socks were all right when You
changed Sunday. I'll darn EN- the
first thing in the morning"
Not much. The limit has been
reached"
He wouldn't even let me get darn
ing needle for him, but he hunted one
out Of the basket. and then, instead of
taking yarn. he got piece Of Irvine
which had come around a package. and
began to sew back and forth across the
hole. He also made a determined az
temut to look ike martyr, and he sue
ceedod so well that the cook, who looked
i'm for a moment, beckOned me out into
the kitchen and whispered:
- knew it wouldn't last, ma'am-
know il all the time. Hes got his high
inks on again, and now nothing will 90
right for the next month.
when Mr. BOwscr had flushed the
sock ne put it on and then went for his
OvcrcOat, saying:
u might as well DO this JOB. TOO.
There's been q button loose for OYER two
wears. but OF coursa You wouldn't ,eeit.
But YOU only got this overcoat las;
fall" | protested, land IL there was
loose button you should have called mT
attention to IT,"
He felt of All the buttons twice over
Before he could find a loose One. end
.hen he made great ado about cutting
:, Off and sewing 10 on again. was
rather glad % see shat he made mis-
sake of two inches in putting 10 back.
When he had finished | mildly inca.red
whether he would have beefsteak or
mackerel for breakfast.
There's auother thing ! want 90
speak about right now he Sharply re-