Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-07-17
HUMoR O. THE DAY.

A mile is the centipede of distance; it
has $3.50 feet Washington Star.
There's millions in 1.-THE United
States Treasury. = Washington Star.
The rolling stone gathers no moss; but
it manages to keep on top, for all that.
The xylophone player is the fellow
who makes the "woods ring. ."-States-
man.
A man can call his body au earthly
tenement, and yet object to being called
a f1at.-Pack.
1t was mean artist who suggestively
painted dairy in water.colors. Rich
mond Recorder.
The honey bee deserves recognition as
kind natures sweet restorer.
(N. ~ Gazette.
Though some women have golden
hair, others have but plated hair
Jeneller's Circular.
1t is probable that many jolly dogs
will have barks on the sea this summer.
--Neo York Herald.
A manufacturing dentist often shows
his teeth without smiling or opening his
mouth.-Neso York journal.
Iron is good for the blood, but no
man likes to have it administered in the
form of carpet -tae,.s - Puck.
A man never realizes until he has made
a fool of himself what laughter-loving
world this is.-Atctison Globe.
He-"Miss Sharpe has very fine
voice" She-''No wonder. She grinds
1t so much. - Detroit Free Press.
Don't under-rate modest ability. The
needle has only one good point; but'we
couldn't get along without it.-Puck.
The good artist is known by his work,
but the poor artist is obliged to grow his
hair long to be identified. -Stateman.
"Is there anything brilliant about
Prozer's writlngs?" "Yes-the stars
between the paragraphs. ."-Chicago
Herald.
Frank-"Stella,s face is her fortune!"
Tom-"Yes. but she's given too many
certified checks to time. ."--NeU York
Herald.
ssBlitturs began life as school
teacher" "Rcaly?" What preco-
cious little baby he must have been."-
Ne,o York San.
Tk e's nothing like sticking to
thin when you apply yourself to it, as
the ny said when it alighted on the fly
paper.-7eras SJtings.
Little Kitty (who is doing the honors
and wishes to be very pompous)-"Will
you have chicking or mutting. Mr..
n?"-Haroard Lampoon.
No, Ethel, you are mistaken. The
phrase, "a literary treat" has no refer
ence to the setting up of books by the
printer.-Indianapolis journal.
"Tastes differ" said Mugley. "Good
thing they do" put in Bottleton. "If
they didn't squills and strawberries would
taste the same. ."-New York Sun.
Jack Witherspoon---"Why do you sing
all the time" Jim Westhall-"To kill
time" Jack Witherspoon-'.You have
good weapon. ."-Princeton Tiger.
Some people are born musicians,
others achieve music and others live next
door to the man who hopes to play the
cornet in the village band. -Elmira
(M - Gazette.
Young Wife--"We are told to cast
our bread upon the waters. ," The Brute
-"But don't you do it. A vessel
might run against it and get wrecked"
--Ne,o York Herald.
Mistress trying on one of her new
gowns)-.sNorah, how does this dress
tit2" Norah (without looking up)-
.sNot very well, mem. found it little
tight under the arms. y Chicago Tribune.
"Don't you think" said one of the
doctors. ''that it would be good idea
to have the study of medicine carried on
under the supervision of the Govern
ment?" 81 suppose replied the other
doctor, thoughtfully, "that it might te
turned over to the interior department"
--Neo York Post.
Timmns-"I-c cr--you know, / was
talking to- called on Miss Laura last
night" Mr.. Figg-"Yes, / know you
did-the fourth time in one week, / be-
,ieve. Why don't you come and live
with us, and be done with it9" Tim
mins--"That's just what wanted to see
you about. "---Indianapolis Journal.