The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-06-01
what Cured Him?

Disturbed, disturbed; with pain oppressed,
No sleep, no rest; what dreadful pest
Such terrors thus ensnared him?
Dyspepsia all night, all day,
1t really seemed had come TO stay;
Pray, guess you then, what cured him?
1t was DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
That is the great cure for Headache, Scrofula,
Dyspepsia, Kidney Disease, Liver Complaint and
General Debility. An inactive Liver means
poisoned blood; Kidney disorder means poisoned
blood; Constipation means poisoned blood. The
great antidote for impure blood is DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. Acting directly upon
the affected organs, restores them to their normal
condition. The Discovery" is guaranteed to
benefit or cure in all cases of disease for which it
is recommended, or money paid for it will be
promptly refunded.
Clara-That handsome stranger appears to have
taken quite shine to you, Maud.
Maud-Y-es; can't imagine why.
Clara-Nor /.
Maud-Pll never speak to you again, so there.
New York Weekly.
Baby cned,
Mother sighed,
Doctor prescribed: Castorms
Changed His Vocation.
Boggs-Siece the ossifed man fell down stairs
and broke himself in two he doesn't stay in the
museum.
Foegs-How does he support himself?
Bogss, he writes credentials for glue firm
New York Herald.
II sick headache Is misefy, what are
Carter's Little Liver Pills II they will positively
cure it? People who have used them speak
frankly Of their worth. They are small and easy
to take.
Briggs-That was a terrible thing about Wan
gle. wasn'G it? While his wits was talking to the
dressmaker he committed suicide In the next
room.
Griggs-Phew! Have they found out the
cause?
Briggs-It is supposed that he overheard what
the dressmaker Said.-Cloak Review.
Quicker than anything else on earth, Johnson's
Anodyne LII iaient will reduce Inflammation.
An Apology.
Me. De Wrider (who has just been thrown)-
You see what your Internal dog has donel He
has frightened my horse.
Mr.. BECKER Streeter-Wel he axes de hoss's
pardon mister. See? He wasn't barkin' at you.
See?.-Puck.
IL you once try Carriers Little Liver Pills
for sick headache, bilious less or constipation,
you will never be without them. They are purely
vegetable: snail and easy to take. Don't forget
this
Magnus Scott wish you would wear all your
diamonds at the Bobs-Jones's tonight.
Mrs. M. Scott-But, my dear, the occasion does
not warrant that.
NJ. Scott-The deuce with the occasion Bobs-
Jones knows that De Puyster drew on me to-day.
Jewellers Circular.
Children with weak eyes, sore ears, or any form
of scrofula, cured by Ayers Sarsaparla.
Mr.. oweljames-Emerson, 1 fear / have de-
tected you in an untruth
Emerson Howeljames banging his head Yes,
father.
MIR. Howeljames-wha disgrace! To think
that you, the son OF a Boston novelist, should be
caught telling story.-Boston Times.
This century has produced no woman who has
done so much to educate her sex to thorough
and proper knowledge OF themselves as Mrs.
Lydia e. Pinkham.
Resident-You're looking rather blue, Ebene-
ger; what's the matter?
Rev. EbeneZer Shadbone-Ise In trouble, sab;
preached asermon,las' Sunday agin chicken
stealth, an de congregation am gwine to tryIme
fob hefeSV. Sah.-Puck