The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-11-14
THE TRIBUNE DETECTIVE
he Makes a Brief Report Of His OBJ
SerYationS the Past Week.
DEATH OF ]. H. SCHNABEL.
Prospects for ArteSian Water Good
Notes and Gossip Of the Town as
Heard by The Tribune's Big Ears.

Notes and Gossip Of the Town as
Heard by The Tribune's Big Ears.
Last night, when all was still, and
the veil of slumber hung over the town,
l accomplished a remarkable piece of
kWOrk. 1 had heard rumOrS that Cald-
well owned hose cart and other appar-
atus with which to fight fire, and l
undertook the herculean task of track
ing it to it's lair. l am pleased to
announce that the report is correct
having discovered it's hiding place.
The good people of Caldwell can rest
with a degree of safety rarely expert
enced, as | will take an oath that there
is a hose cart in town. Where it is
will for tho present remain a profess
sional secret, but fires all over the
world have been notified that it is here,
and will undoubtedly give this town
wide berth. Some day in the near
future will disguise myself and en-
deavor to ferret out what it is in Inning
for. Some awful crime is undoubtedly
concealed here.
l have about concluded to don my
boodler's disguise and take the trail OF
the Board of Trade. That such an
organization exists seems to be admit
ted by all, but when and where the
dark and bloody deeds are planned is
an unfathomable mystery. About
once year it shows it's head and takes
us sleepless virgils by surprise, but by
the time we are ready to act it disap-
pears as mysteriously as it came, leay-
ing not the slightest clue to work on.
There is de.p suspicion in the minds
of some that it spends tho most Of it's
time in the mountains hunting up
roads to repair, while others declare il
is in Pennsylvania hunting a wooden
mill. | shall find out-sven at the cost
of my life.
The most difficult piece of work
assigned me lately is to discover why
the city saloon license is not collected
promptly when due. Interested parties
may help me out in this.
The report that certain stock man
walks in his sleep, has been traced
down by me and found to be a fact
The ghastly particulars would be too
much of shock for your nervous
readers.
Downing my hunters garb Slipped
behind Hailey's meat market the othel
evening to see the man and bear fight
Having been bought off / shall say
nothing ON this subject.
A few days ago donned my Nampa
disguise and took a short run up the
road. On the Boise branch a funny
thing occurred. In the seat in front OF
me was an eastern man, surrounded
by several Nampa land sharks, who
were trying to blow tie poor sucker ir
for a corner lot in the city of wini
Purdum was doing the talking, which
was something like this: "That ditch
out there (poiRting to Indian creek
which was running about one-half
inch of water) is the Caldwell ditch
You can see" and here Purd. put Oh
that truthful and earnest expression
which only he can adopt, "just how
Caldwell is fixed for water. That ditcl
|~is carrying it's full capacity this YER!
minute. Now Nampa, ETC." I wa:
tempted to tear my mask from my FACE
and rescue the poor devil, but then
thought maybe he needed little costl!
experience.
Last week while the slippery sOa,
man was on the street | put on M
suckers disguise and tried to discover
why men would persist in being sucl
"tish." Did 7 discover? Well, no
hardly! came very near being ropet
in myself.
nave kept sharp look out at thu
artesian well works, but have rs We
discovered no image. was pretty vel
discouraged, when by little sly work
discovered man who said he cOult
make as good an image as Kurtz dare,
to, and that for S. he would see tina
my vigilant search would be rewarded
have not ordered it made yet, as m,
mind is running on another scheme
Bailey, the postmaster, has a large
mastOdon tooth which he found il
Alaska. Would not a tooth as big as ;
bucket look better illustrated than Il,
image? AS soon as | can decide whicl
to find, the discovery will DO mad
with all due pomp.
Downing the disguise of charity
saw Il poor, lone woman in Caldwell IL
distress. The fact became know
through kind neighbors and sool