Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-02-21
THE LINE Kiln CLUB.
Recommendations on various Subjects to De
Sent to the Legislature.


Recommendation. on v.rious Subjects to De
Sent to the Legislature.
1--WE hev met here dis eavenin'. !" said Brother
Gardner when the meeting had been opened in
due form, ito h'ar de reports OF sa-tin commit
tees an discuss de same. may say right here
an. nov dat any pusson who frizxles piece Of
leather on dat stove or SO fur forgits hisself as
to raise an alley vinder to see il his dawg am
waitin down dar' is gwine TO be fined not less
dan 70 thousand dollars. Oar am sartin
things dis club belieyes to be wrong an sa=tin
other things il believes to be right. an de peo-
'ple Of de state of Michigan hev DER eyes on us
an expect us to do our dooty. We will now
listen to de report Of de committee on capital
punishment
THE REPORT.
Sir Johnsonbury Jones, chairman of The
above committee, reported as follows:
"Dey used to hang apu sson in dis state il
deY murdered anybody. Dey found out dat
1t ginerally broke his neck to hang him. an so
dsy dun got sorry an repealed de Law. Dis
committee has gone slow an looked into de
matter very keerfully. II has diskivered dat:
Hanging a murderer doan' bring his
at doan stop odder men from committin'
murder. ~
asmBut de man who am hung doaa' git away
to kill somebody else.
'4-Nor de state Of Michigan doan' hey to
board and clothe him de rest Of his life as re-
we esW,u. rou.
nobodys feelin's, it would mildly an modesdy
express its belief dat de day has cum in Michi-
gan when two pussons murdered in cold
blood fur every one sheep stolen. an dat it Is
time de crime was made onerous j: not odious.
4 RECOMMEND.
On motion of Waydown Bebee. the report
was accepted, and then a vigorous discussion
took place to what the club should recon-
mend TO the Legislature. The following was
finally decided on:
"If arter murderer has had de benefit OF a
Jury who can't read nor write good lawyer,
TO or FIVE witnesses who will swar to any thing.
de sympathy OF the public. de plea Of tenlpo-
rary insanity, IL he ar convicted arter all dis II
would be we'll to hang him. We recommend.
however, dat dc rope be kiyered wild cloth an
dat he be hung as softly as possible an dat at
least 70 teen hacks be engaged fur de funeral
procession"
As TO DIVORCES.
Judge Circumstance Lancaster, chairman OF
the committee appointed to inquire into the
cause and effect OF divorces, and suggest such
changes Us deemed expcdient, reported as fol-
lows:
''Your committee hev traced divorces back to
u period oDer o.oVV y ars ago. DE cnleI cause
seems to be dat husband an wife can't agree.
Some folks think dis fact is powerful queer.
but we doan. If juries can't agree-if nations
can't agree-if churches, societies. ladies an
clubs bust up bekase dey can't sgree-if VIC diff
fer in politics, religion. customs an habits, why
should II be expected dat husband an wife must
agree? II hev business partner wild whom
can't get along de courts gin me 2 way out but
some folks make great huliabaloo bekase de
courts ar asked to separate a couple who make
life miserable fur each odder. We would recon-
mend as follows:
u. No courtship of less' n three years.
-. No lyin' on either side.
''3. Ebery new-married couple has 60. to
move right off by deirselyes to Dakota"
Among the members of the club discussing
the motion to adopt the above was Judge
Comedown Carter, who said:
II ar satisfied dat divorce orter be made
easy arter sartin condishuns are futile. such
cOndishuns as dat committee has jist reported
but wheneber wife gifts divorce it orter bs
de law dat she leave at least s25 in cash in dc
house fur de husband to git along wild until he
kin strike a new job.p
After some further discussion the report VA.
adopted.
Prof Singletree White, chairman of the com
mittee ON finance, reported as follows:
"Your committee has traced de use of money
back to 1900 vars Be. an has not been abb
to find dat de poo man eber had any mo- dar
he has got today. 1t ar our opinyun da
sunthin' Orter ter be dun. Dis gwine arounC
dead broke isn't only hurtful to the feelin's bat
VERY incOnvenient. We would darfore recon
mend as folders:
Il. Expand de currency until de basket slop,
ober.
%. Coin huff silver so dat cherry man will
hey to hey an extra hind pocket to carry Lis
share.
IS. Make days work six hours long an dc
pay IS, but doan' hev too many Of 'ein in ons
week.
"A. Bring de price of whitewa shin up al
least 100 per cent, but knock de price OF meat
an Eaters down to the VERY lowest notch.
IS. Fix it SO dat cherry GULL pusson in iii,
in his kerridse kin do SO. but if ridia' AROUND
makes his back ache, den fix it SO he kin open
bank an drink all de champagne he want
to-"
Waydown Bebee. Shindig Watkins Whale
bone Howker, Givcadam Jones and others spoke
very strongly on tine question OF adopting tn,
report. but Brother Gardner arose and said:
Dat report Will be sOt down an laid OF
de table indefinitely. Its too soon. 1t asks fun
too much. If We could hev all dose thing,
asked fur in dat report we'd consider ourselye.
so clus to heaven dat nobody would turn out Il
Thursday evenin' prayer meetin's. | shall ip
struct de seckretary to Say dat il is de sense b
dis club dat de circulation orter to be increased
about foteen millyop dollars ar until ebsry
Guild head of fam ly is able to hev rubber
doah mat on de top step an a cuckoo clock il
de parlor. De meetin will now be all brokt
up, to assemble agiu at de call of de seckre-
tary."