davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
To Walk Round the World.

Round the world on foot except where
a fast steamer will he needed to bridge
continents. is the programme which Il
French citizen of thirty-tour summers
has just drawn up. According to the
London Telegraph ne will try to accom-
plish the feat within the space of 30
days. walking. at least in Europe. TWEEN
tv-four leagues per diem. NJ. proz. the
hero Of this adventure. on quitting
Paris will turn his face in the direction
Of Moscow. Traversing Siberia. still on
foot. he will take ship on the shores Of
kamtechatka for San Francisco, WhcnC"
he will tramp to New York Crossing
the Atlantic 10 llavrc, he will walk from
that town 10 Paris.
NJ Droz was formerly non-comlnie-
stoned officer in a cavalry regiment.
He is Of the middle height. 1.-THE and
muscular He has already several pc
destrian performances Ia hi> credit, but
that which he is about to undertake
throws everything of this kind into the
shade. He reckuns on walking fourteen
hours ont Of twenty-four. Keeping the
remainder Of the day for rest and re-,
/,
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
The Revolt of the Maiden.

Some time and in some fashion the
Young unwedded woman will be called
upon TO make a decided stand against
the invasion of the matron upon her
special province. There is scarcely
place left now for the sole of her slip
per between the school-room and strip
Of carpet before the matrimonial altar.
She Is simply driven into a corner, and
told To marry at once, or lay down her
passport into the realms of social gay
ETY..
This arrogance of the married woman
concerning her monopoly of society
anu semsnts is more intolerahle than
trade-u union tyrannies. She won't hear
to having impaired bellies brought into
competition with her attractions. II
they choose 20 chime. ii must be with a
coniugal clapper, and not a. merry, IN
dependent thinkers, ringing a distracted
little tune of unmatediriskiness.
Girls are still permitted to have de-
butts. but even on those great occasions
the young matron steps III, and by right
Of double bessedness takes all the
cakes and ale. The shy. sweet miss is
left to cut poor figure indeed. And so
on from first 10 last.
The married woman opens the bail.
leads the german, occupies the opera
boxes, demands all dinner invitations,
fills the victoria, receives the tea there
by squeezing the girl into such a small
corner no one IS able TO find her be-
hind madam's overcrowded engagement
book-IiiuStrdted american.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
he london BOY.

What are these creatures stumbling
up the crescent These are two mes
sage boys And who Is that troglUdytc
ruosting Oh the railing. That is
brakes hoy waiting on pcel's boy and
Smcihc's boy. Why does he wait
Because he never travels alone; sec
uud,y, because lie has infinite time.
DO they shake hands when they NEE:
~, brakes boy puts ont his foot and
trips up Peel's boy What does Peel (
boy do lie rises in haste and smitc-
him with a l"g Of mutton Are they
now enemies No, these are proofs OF
attachment After furnishing the leg
of mutton they sit down To discuss the
universe. e, the street, the panto-
mime, and one Kidd a pirate.
Wis does >neilir ; boy 20 oil by him
self and veil Vi he did not do that ne
would burst He dues not know lie is
yelling. y ny does lie lay down his
basket and dance? Hush: do not be-
tray him. All boys do that when they
are alone Does ne look ashamed il
You see him No; boys never look
anything Will lie come to if YOU leave
him YES: lie Will whistle presently,
ami calm down. How much does he
Get TOR this Four-and-sixpence a
week
This boy l. accounted for by the Evo-
luton Theory 1t is only being in a
town and his INSTRUMENTATION that
make you think he Is not savage.
What liz represents is Capacity; he is
clay. dough, putty This boy cannot as
vet walk straight. or dress better or
brush his hair. lie i not good. lie is
not bad. He has no soul. He has not
even soap. He is simply Boy, pure,
unwa>hed, unregencrate Boy.-Good
LnrtiN
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
SOME CLASSIC PUNS.

How Senator Evarts Mixed tho Turkey
and the Sage.
Probably, says the Washington Star,
some of the readers remember the
beautiful pun that Mr.. Evarts made at a
dinner at Delmonico's some years ago.
In all the constellation of his famous
puns this is the brightest star. The din
ner taking place about Thanksgiving
time, Mr.. Evarts, when he arose to
speak, began In this way:
Friends, YOU have just been having
a turkey stuffed full of sage; now ! pre-
sent you with sage stuffed full of tur-
key"
1t made no difference what he said
after that; the best thing he could have
said would have been nothing at all.
But it remained for a San Francisco
man, who is seeking an office from the
President, and who has been in town
some time waiting for it, to make one of
the best after dinner hits of all. He
was called upon to speak at a banquet
recently, and boldly proclaimed that he
| was after an office.
And here" he went on, give been
four months waiting and waiting and
lowering between the certainty of an
appointment or disappointment ~
The late S. S. Cox, it will be remem-
bered, was toasted once at dinner in
New York by an admirer who told him
he joked too much and recommended
him in Emersons language to Glitch
his wagon to star" He promptly re-
piled that he would do so and that the
star should be Sirius.
Another good pun was made by a
Washingtonian who is literary man
and an Irishman. Being twitted with
the act that Ireland had never produced
such poet as Scotland's Bobby Burns,
he said that it was true, but that she had
a little Moore
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
HE WAS A LITTLE DEAF.
And That is Why He Thought She Was
Talking About Paiamas.

The Boston Courier finds that to old
fashioned people the word pajanas
seems q most absurd one. Perhaps he
cause it is So markedly foreign and I'M
like English; and it not infrequently
happens that persons are found to
whom the word does not convey any
definite meaning. Not long since a
young lady who had just come out, >
and who is shy to a degree almost pain
full, was sitting at IA dinner beside an
elderly man who was very hard of hear
ing. The knowledge of her neighbor' :
intirmity added To the Young
lady's diffidence in the matter Of adj
dressing him; and as he said moth
ing to her, they sat side by side in
silence for almost the entire meal. As
the dessert appeared upon the table,
however, the lady made a desperate at
tempt, determined that she would not
allow her shyness To conquer her, and
having cast about for theme of CONVEX
sation found ii in the fruit Just before
her. DO YOU like bananas ~ she in
quired of her neighbor, in as distinct
and audible Il voice as she could com
mand. The old gentleman turned upon
her look of some surprise, not UNI
mixed with a suspicion of disapproval
1T her question. Il never wear them,
he said. laconically; the old fashioned
night shirt is quite good enough for me -
The effect upon the young lady may he
imagined
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
4 Son of the Baron,

Baron Faya may be an aged dude
with genius for spending more than
lac earns. hut he has a son. a naturalized
American citizen, an architect and en-
-inecr. and resident of Washington,
who appears able tolookout for himself,
At the time of the Baron's recall to Italy
4 Washington paper referred to the son
a. 4 retiring Young fellow who still
wore Il gold band engraved with his
title and riveted around his arm while.
architect advertised as follows: Not on
exhibition. but the retiring Young fell
low, mentioned in last Saturdays Post
az wearing gold band around his arm
can be seen at rooms Nos. ~. 81 Cor
coran Building. Architecture. civil en-
cheering. surveying and plats. our
professional clients admitted free OF
charge
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
ANIMAL INTElLIGE NCE.
Story About an Elephant With a Good
Appetite.

Appetite.
Arthur CLAY sends the following in
stance of the sagacity of the elephant.
1t was told me, he says, by Mr. Quay-at
the time a non-commissioned officer in
the first battalion of the Sixteenth
Rifles, but now one of Her Majesty s
women of the guard. In 1858 his regi-
ment was marching from Peshawur to
kopulvio, and was accompanied by a
train of elephants. 1t was the duty Of
the mahout in charge of each elephant
to prepare twenty chupatties, or flat
cakes made of coarse flour, for his
charge. When twenty chupatties We're
ready they We're placed before the ele
plant, who during the process Of count
ing never attempted to touch one of
them until the full number WAS com
pleted.
On the occasion related BY Mr. QUAY
one of the elephants had seized the
opportunity of his mahout's attention
being distracted for a moment to steal
and swallow one of the chupatties.
When the mahout. having finished the
preparations, began to count them out
he, of course. discovered the theft, and
presented his charge with nineteen in
place of the usual number. The ele-
phant instantly appreciated the fact OF
there being one less than he had right
to expect. and refused to touch them,
expressing his Indignation by loud
trumpetlngs. This brought the con
ductor of the elephant line with
whom Mr.. Quay had been in CONVERSE
ton on the scene. Having heard the
explanation of the mahout, the conduc-
tor decided that the mahout was in
fault for not keeping a better lookout
and ordered him to provide the
twentieth cake at his own cost. When
this was prepared and added to the
pile, the elephant at once accepted and
ate tlem-SDfctufOr
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
He Paid the Bill.

\ few days ago the friends of prom
the report that she was dangerously i'll
The Town Talker, in speaking of her
illness to a particular friend of the lady,
brught out the cause of the illness. She
is allowed by her husband SO much a
month for dresses. During the last So
cial season she bought SO many hand
only seemed a drop in the bucket
toward paying for them. Her costumes
attracted so much attention that her
vanity was excited, and she endeavored
with each succeeding dress to surpass
the last. This she succeeded in doing
Every action must have a corresponding
reaction. Her pleasure, caused by be-
ing the best dressed woman in Louis
Vile, has given place to her sorrow,
caused by having the largest millinery
bills of any woman in Louisville. The
bills were sent to her, amounting to
81 POO. She Immediately retired to her
bed. Doctors were sent for. but for a
week she continued to grow worse
Her husband became alarmed and told
her that if she would ust get well he
would do anything for her She said she
could not At last in despair, she told
him if he would inst pay her bill and
forgive her she would try and get WELL
He promised. He paid the bill. From
that moment she began to recuperate,
and i'll a few days was almost entirely
we'll. She then confessed to her hus-
band, who fOrgave her. She has prom
Used to i've within her allowance. which
he has increased. SO they are both
happy again.-LouisrHe ComDterci0l
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
How Stewart Caught Him.

An old employe of the late y +.
Stewart. the millionaire dry goods
merchant Of New York, shows the
means sometimes employed by that
gentleman for enforcing the rules of his
store There was a rule IL the effect
that no person employed in the build
ing should carry matches under the
penalty OF dismissal.
one evening. as Mr.. stewart was
passing through the store on his way
home. he suddenly turned To a number
of clerks who were standing near the
door, and asked.
Can anyone obIigc ne with a
match o.
No one answered for moment, till
one Of the men, prompted by courtesy,
and thinking his employer would not
take advantage OF him, replied, Yer
tainlv. sir; here il one"
You are discharged" was the IN
gracious response. GO t. the desk
ana get what i due you. - Washington
Post
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
A NEW SCHEME.
How Three Suitors Matched Pennies to
Decide Case of Love

Decide II Case of Love.
\ wedding is announced for this spring
between two well-known Young people
of Des Moines, SAYS the Ledger. There
is an interesting story connected with
the event. and ii would be unfair To cal
names.
Four years ago the prospective bride,
then quite Young. was receiving the at
tentlonS Of three men. They. too.
were young. little more than boys, and
Just entering upon the different kinds
of work which they had adopted for
life
Two of them. indeed, were still stu
dents. Matter ran along without much
change with the four for some time
They each understood the situation
Nothing in the girls manner indicated
any preference The three boys were
| the best offriends. although the situation
WAS such as 10 strain their relations Il
little.
Finally the three met one day bv ac-
cldent. In some way the Young girl :
name was brought up, and after consid-
Grafton il was decided To match pennies
| to See who should withdraw from the
contest 1t was stipulated that the
| winner should he in honor bound To
devote himself exclusively To- the youn"
| woman in the future, and To- win her
! hand if possible. The losers from that
| moment We're To withdraw from the
race completely. The losers were fur
| ther pledged toact as guardian brothers
! To the Young woman and see that the
| winner carried on no Irritation with
| other girls.
| The contracts We're carried ont to the
| letter, and the girl was never told why
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
'erlin is required to make a similar

Berlin is required to make similar
change.
AS we enter the palace" writes a
friend, eve were detained in one of the
corridors, and all were obliged to put
on soft, thick, gray felt slippers, in
which we no1selessly passed over the
polished floors, leaving no mark upon
the shining surface. These slippers
consist merely of toe and sole, with
no heel. We were obliged to step up in
turn before the guard. who dropped
them before us, and then skate off over
the slippery floors as best we could"
No attention is paid to the fit, of
course. Each must take them as they
come "Mine, says my friend, "were
tremendous. / believe they would
have been too large for the biggest man
| ever saw; so you may imagine that |
had to slide along cautiously lest |
should lose them. The occasional
gllmpses of ourselves that we had in
the mirrors were very ridiculous
standing IN these great canal boats ~
Mamma, Doings.
Daisy was lost. From garrett to cellar
they searched for her. and then went
out to rouse the neighbors and scour
the town. At last, near nightfall, the
little girl was found sound asleep by the
side of a haycock in neighbours field
Disturbed by the joyful outcry about
her, she began TO cry, and was only
comforted when mamma rushed
through the groups and cuddled her to
her heart. Then the happy procession
went home, and in half an hour Daisy
was asleep in her little bed.
Papa, however, had gone in another
direction, and came home tired and
anxious to hear the good news.
Now that there was no longer cause for
worry he grew little cross at having
suffered such needless fright, and in the
morning, when Daisy appeared at the
breakfast table, tried to greet her with
judicial severity.
well, little runaway" he said, in a
vain attempt at grutfness, chow do you
find YOURSELF"
Daisy looked up at him with eyes
shining in liquid innocence.
4 didn't find myself replied she,
simply, mamma found me. . Youth 5
fOfHUGTtOH-
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
NOTES ABOUT NOTABLES

ENrERoR WILLIAM will make tour
Of turtresscs in Alsace-LOrrainc at the
end of the month. The prefecture Of
Metz is preparing to rive him a reCep-
ton.
Count EMILE De kERATRY, who is in
this country to present the Cross of the
Legion OF Honor to the copyright
champions, is himself an author OF
note.
Mrs. FRANK LESLIE Won fame a. a
writer before she married her late
husband. 1t was as Il contributor To
his periodicals that she became
personally acquainted with Mr.. Leslie.
GEN. Buffers luncheon, which he
eats at ; O clock, does not vary from day
TO day. It comprises one small ham
sandwich. one small chicken sandwich.
and few swallows Of brandy and
water.
EDMOND DEFAULT pE PrEs>ENNE left
among other writings The Critical
school and Jesus" which has been
regarded as one of the most effective
replies ever made 10 Remains Life "a:
Jesus"
LoRD SrANLE4 or PRESTON, the GOV
enlargement Of Canada, - an
enthusiastic adlnircr of football and
when his own club, the old North Ends,
was winning game.
nR. WILLIAM /. llNREIS, the nitel
States Commissioner of Education, Is a
tall straight, and rather thin man.
His beard Is short ami al! gray. II"
speaks rapidly and easily, and is a very
entertaining talker.
Io<>rHAx TRuNRULI, Of Norwich,
President of the Connecticut division q!
the Sons of the Revolution, has
purchased the old war office Of his
ancestor. Governor TruruhulI. Gcorgc
Washington's bosom friend and coUu-
-elOr, the brother Jonathan o /
Revolutionary days.
GAIT. HoRE thinks an incorrect i'm
preston exists with regard 10 Iippu lib,
the great Arab leader in Central Africa
He says that Tippu Til never has been
a large slave raider. but that on account
OF his power and influence many natives
have voluntarily placed themselves
under his care and are voluntarily his
servants.
TIE late King kalakaua held 5000
membership in an American life
insurance fraternal order, and many IA
lodge member throughout OHIO and
other states, therefore. received
official notice Of the monarch'e demise
The notice gave his occupation a.
king" and his residence as Honolulu.
GEN. ALBERT PIKE conducted deep
researches into ancient Aryan literature
in pursuit Of hints Of early Masonic
practices. The Il quarto volumes Of
translation which are the fruit % this
labor are i'll manuscript, written in all
elegant manner upon fine paper.
There is not blot or an eraeure from
one end TO the other, and the writing,
done with a quill pen Of the old
fashioned kind, j. like copperplatc
Each volume numbers 900 pages.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.

What She Did and What She Didn't.
She uarbled the soprano with dramatic sensi-
bility,
And dallied with the organ when the orgsnist
sick;
She got up for variety brand new church Sc
ciety,
And spoke with great facility about the new
. church brick.
She shed tears of sorrow for the heather i'm
morality,
And organized system hat would open up
their eyes
In culinary clarity she won great popularity.
And showed her personality in lecturing on
pies.
For real unvarnished culture she betrayed IA
great propensity:
Her Tuesday talks were famous and her Fri
day glimmers great
She grasped at electricity with mental elastic
lty.
And lectured with intensity about the mar
rage state.
But with the calm assurance of her wonderful
capacity.
She would mt wash the dishes, but she d Ia k
all day on rocks;
And while she dwelt on density or space and its
immensely.
With such refined audacity. her mother
darned the socks.
- Tom Mason in CiOthier Il FuTnjSber
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
How Trick Dogs Are Trained.

Taking everything together. | think
the poodle is the best adapted for tricks
of any breed of dogs. Still have seen
mongrels that could perform marvellous
feat@ with grace and ease. For somer-
saults the compactly built terrier is
probably the best breed of dog.
once knew an artist that had a French
poodle of wonderful sagacitv. 1t lived
with him IN his studio, and was taught
TO 90 to the door when the postman
came, and take the letters from his
hand and deliver them 10 his master
One day the door bell rang, and when
It was opened messenger boy came IN
instead Of the expected letter carrier
Without showing the least temper, the
poodle sprang against the swinging door
and by It's weight slammed it in the face
ofthe aStonished boy. Itappears that a
messenger boy once offended the poodle,
and lie took this method of Kidding the
studio Of hts presence.
Some dogs have a wonderful bump of
locality. This is more Developed in
some dogs than III others, and those
that possess it to Il marked degree can
easily be taught tricks in fetching and
carrying that would almost seem
miraculous. | have known OF II dog
going out hunting with his master.
They Went distance Of more than 100
miles from home. While they were
there the master lost his dog, and went
home without him. \ day later
the truant made his appearance. He
had boarded a train and ridden home
| myself have lost my dog in Jersey
City, and he has got on ferry boat by
himself amt CONT home without losing
his way or being helped
\ word Gr Ao pi good advice to CON
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
Where Blondes Abound.

The blonde, if she be found in any
numbers, must be looked for outside of
the nations metropolis. saws the
Epoch. The fair-faced and light haired
American woman of to-day is rather a
product of the villages and the country
than of the Eastern cities where popu-
lation is densest. There are blonde
girls in abundance ON the east side of
New York. where the Germans congre-
gate; there are some, too, on Murray
Hill of aristocratic lineage, and in Har-
lem, where many Swedes live, there
are numbers of light-haired girls, but
altogether they form comparatively
small percentage of the city's inhabi-
tants. The real stronghold of the
blonde is in the West and in the North
west There are many blondes in MIN
nesota and the Dakotas, the offspring OF
Scandinavian parents, and they abound
in Nebraska and in Southern Illinois,
where large colonies of Germans have
settled. There are multitudes of fair
haired girls in Eastern Pennylvania,
the daughters of the Pennsylvania
Dutch, and in Delaware, in Kentucky,
in Baltimore and in Philadelphia they
are not rare. But very generally in the
East, and especially in large cities,
brunette women greatly outnumher the
blondes. as they do III fact the world
over.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
A DIM LIGHT.
What OcuIist Thinks About the In
candcsCant Light.

Most persons who use the lncandcS-
cent electric light like new lamp be
cause the light is whittier and more bril-
liant than after the lamp has been in
use for two or three weeks. This is
wrong. 1t is the dazzling white light
that hurts the eye. An old lamp is the
best, for III these the light has become
changed to pale yellow. which is the
Ideal color Just as IN MONDAY bright
ness human sight is not So clear and
tar-rcachin" as at the yellow sunset, So
Il new incandescent burner Is not 50
good for the eve as the old one. An old
burner, 50 adjusted and shaded that
the light does not shine in The face il
the ideal artificial light. An argand Gas
burner comes next. The use of the arc
light should be confined To street lamps.
Some StnrekeeperS still use them hut
they are terribly hurttul To the eve.
This is because the intensity of the light
Is constantly changing, and this jumping
of the blaze is much worse for the eye
than the flicker of the gaslIght | have
had occasion to treat Il great many pcO-
pie for Inflammation of the rrtina caused
hv the light of are lamps
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1891-04-25
She Was That scared.

\ high-toned family living on Wood
ward Avenue engaged a girl at an intel
ligence office, and left the address to
which she was 10 come that evening.
Sure enough at half-past 5 the front
door bell rung wildly, summoning the
whole family to the door. When it was
opened, the strange girl rushed franti-
cally in.
"Why didn't you 20 to the side
door," asked the mistress. THE
dog" gasped the girl, hes standing
there in the yard wild his tail pinted for
murder Oh, I'm that scared cud
drop in me tracks. | seed the ole lying
fprt, but he never grunted only he
frightened me out of years growt.
I'll not stay minute neyther, with a
hull menagerrv in the front yard. F"
But when she was told that the dog
and the lion both were made of cast
iron. she changed her mind and con-
Guided to stav.