Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-15
MURRAY'S MUSINGS.
Somebody's Always Late-An Amusing
Form Of Hysserics-Why the Air OF
oDixie Is So Popular-Stray Bits of New
York C,o;aIp

Somebody's Always Late-An Amusing
Form Of Hysserfcs-Why the Air Of
ODixie Is So Popuiar-Stray Bits OF New
York Goisip.
fFRoM STAFF CORRESPONDENT
NEW YORK, Nov. 14-Perhaps it will be
httie consolation to the political candidate
VINO has been beaten by q few votes to re-
meet that there is always somebody who is
just trif1e too late. 1t is certainly interest
ing, II not instructive, to the other fellow
leu IL IS an incident of every minute in the
metropolis, where life is n daily ana mo-
mehtary scramble. You see IL illustrated
more or less humorously every time ycu
take an elevated train, every time ferry
boat leaves Its slip, every time limited ex-
press or any other train pulls ont of sta
ton, every time an ocean steamer leaves her
pier There il always somebody rushing up
or down at the last moment frant1cally
waving hands or yelling-just in time to be
left behind.
= Ask the scornful but vigiIant officials.
Scarcely an elevated train leaves platform
Dut one or more persons, male or female,
dash up the stairs, fly past the ticket
window and at the risk of life or limb
attempt TO board it. And how lucridously
angry and disappointed they look. Another
train is within sight, due in one or two
it aggravates it. just as your ferry boat
leaves the slip there is always somebody who
runs the gauntlet of the main gates. comes
tearing down the driveway with or without
a ticket and with a wild whoop tries to leap
the rapidly yawning gulf between the
bridge and the deck. There is another boat
In five or ten minutes, but what OF thatI
The bitterness of being too late warrants the
risk. An express train slowly pulls out to
the sound Of the gong. lmmeolately
from various quarters, as II they popped
ont of the earth, some people with Wioly
swinging grips and parcels in hand rusn at
breallneck speed along the planktng TO get
on board and are left painting and shouting
and swearing-just too late.
Rarely an ocean steamer, booked Tor Gays
to leave at a certain hour, begins to churn
the salt water into foam, but cab or car
riage bearing q steamer trunk and display
ing disheveled head at the open window
just too late. The company has tho pas
sage money, the name is on the printed pas
senger list, but the berth is empty this trip.
Hardly ship leaves port but somebody Is
left by hairs breadth. 1t seems ODD,
doesn't it? But 1t is nevertheless true: rms
great business world stops for nobody. A
man must get up and come down on
time or get left. And there is always some-
body getting left.
How Hysterics Affected Him.
The other day couple of well-dressed
gentlemen entered O downtown lunch room
where four pretty barmaids wait upon those
requiring liquid refreshment. One of the
newcomers had an uncertain falsetto voice.
which ran itself down and up grade in the
most reckless manner imaginable. He
laughed as he confronted the barmaids
something like this:
ha, har'
Everybody in the place st red, and a
luncher fell off his stool in the rear with O
crash. The little white caps of the four bar
maids rose simultaneously about an inch.
The pretty ash girl rang up 10 cent check
for scared sandwich young man and gig
gled. Two stalwart walters came forward
to throw the humorous gentleman out, but
were intercepted by his companion with
whisper.
"Can you make me turf cocktail?" seri-
ously inquired the hilarious gentleman of
the nearest white-aproned divinity behind
the bar. elf so, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha,
The young woman, who seemed to be un-
der the temporary impression that her Gus
toner was making fun at her expense,
grabbed glass and bottle of bitters. her
face red as u woman's face can get on short
notice, and proceeded sternly TO business.
The other man took his plain, and both
smiled. His friend paid the check, and tie
.'Ha, har'
ha,
ha-ha, ha, ha-
As the door closed behind him the giggles
and grins down the long room broke into
went by the cash girl forgetting to call FOR
their checks. No, 1t was not conspiracy
The laughing young man had the Mysteries,
and he could no more control his voice than
you can control your hiccupS.
There used to he young lady in Washing
ton who was afflicted the same way. One
evening she occupied central orchestra
chair at the National Theater during per-
formance of rather funny farce comedy,
and enjoyed the thing amazingly. So did
the audience. For she would every now and
then get into fit of laughter that would
terminate invariably in well defined
shrek. Before the play was half over she
had the whole house in An uproar. The per-
formers looked serious at first, then smiled.
and finally broke down. One actor lost his
lines completely, and had to leave the stage.
1t was nip and tuck from that moment be-
tween that one girl in the orchestra chair
and the comedy company. The more the
girl laughed the worse the company played,
but the audience Iairly shed tears in spots
all the evening, and went home literally
tickled to death.
She Sat Up for the Ghost.
-'I was up all last night washing for the
theater folks" said my old colored laund
ress. "and now I've got to set up all night to
get my money. You see the opera company
goes away. This is their last night here and
If don't watch em, they'll go way and
leave me without cent. Don't you tell me,
honey-1 know them. They've done fooled
me lots of times. Its the ghost want to see
right now, tell 'em, and nice big words
don't buy no potatoes"
Late that night saw her sitting patiently
at the stage door contemplating the john
nies and the scenery wagons and waiting for
the ghost" What a world this Isl
The Grandest National Air
1t has often been remarked that the
familiar air of "Dixie'' will elicit more ap-
plause here than any other piece of music
that may be performed. A medley Of na-
tional or pat triotic airs will usually contain
"Dixie'' and that particular tune will be
greeted with a degree of applause that quite
throws everything else in the shade. This
fact is attributed to Southern sentiment,
but it is far from correct The Northern
soldiers sang "Dixie'' and marched to
"Dixie" in the great campaigns. Every
Union band used to play it and every Union
soldier has lightened the knapsack and ac-
by joining in the lively tune
with his comrades. Besides this Dixie" is
a lovely bit OF music and in the opinion of
eminent composers is superior to almost all
the national airs Of the world-conspicu-
ously to those of this country. Don't let
ANYBODY make you believe that only South
erners and Southern sympathizers love