The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-11-18
PITH N POINT.

PllH N fUlNI.
Purrs proud-The luxurious cat.
Madden than a hornet-The object d
its caresses.-Ly.
Sup to snuf-Getting out Of bed to:
take a pinch. ".-PiHs6urg Chronicle:
The interest you take in another
mans business is never profitable .-Atedi-
son Globe.
There is one thing that may be said Of
a spider; there are no flies on it.-Atehi-
son Globe.
When a man gets in trouble it often
takes q round sum to square matters
Statesman.
The dentist may not be a man Of an-
cestry, but he is M of prominent ex-
traction Washington Post.
A boy who is frequently chastised BY
his mother and grandmother speaks Of
them as a spanking team."-T1as
,SDif1ings.
Maud-"George told me last night
I was his little duck!" Ethel-aHs
probably discovered that you were no
chicken ."-Life.
It was a Massachusetts, legislator who
recently objected to a certain measure
because sit would land us in q sea Of
doubt."-Nu YorE Tribune.
Fussy (savagely-"I ordered 9 ham
sandwich twenty minutes ago." Waiter
-"Well, boss, it takes some time to
cook a ham."-Rarpers Basur.
The world will be nearer right when q
q man has learned to laugh a little less
at his neighbours troubles and o little
more at his own-Atehison Globe.
A woman never feels that she is alto
gether out of society so long as she gets
an invitation every year to a fashionable
milliner's opeping.--SomervM Journal.
Lapdlady Crying to start the CONVEX
sation)-"Are you fond of the antique,
Mr.. SlimW New Boarder (suspiciously)
-"Um-er-not at table. GOOD Necs.
OF all the gifts Of summer,
The ono that most I'd prize
Would be some faint foundation
For my next months fishing hess
Outing.
Somebody asks for a good definition
of a philosopher. A philosopher is Q
man who earns So a week aud is con-
tented with his income. -SomtrDM
Journal
Her hat cost ten dollars it grieves me ID
And she only put one small dime in the
-New York Sun.
De Brush-"I saw q chrome effect IN
oil to-day that completely captiyated
me-" Palette-"What was It - an
amateur2" De Brush-''No, a sardine.
Neo York. Sun.
Custoner-"You say this is a real an
tique2 Bric-a-brac Dealer-'It's n OF
the finest pieces of work by one OF the
best ancient masters of the present day."
-devt<r's Circular.
That wealth and cares unequally
Divided are, its true, b
For the man who lacks the wealth for one
Has cares enough for two:
Mrs. Myserlee-"Oh, my dear Mr..
Wings, you really can't go home in this
terrible storm. Do stay and take supper
with u.s." Wings-"Thank you; but
it's really not so bad as all that."-
Munsey's Weekly.
Confusion Worse COMPOUNDED: Jones
-.Con-found it ALL Somebody taken
nv hat, and left this filthy, beastlY,
shabby old thing instead" Brown-"A
Il beg your pardon, but that happens
to be my hat. "-Puneh.
Where are you going my pretty maid"
''I'm going to graduate, sir" she said. -
May I 60 with you, my pretty maid?,
IF you buy me some gum you may" She
said.
-Ne,o York Sun.
Salesman-"As I understand your
order, sir, it is for one dozen shirts at
thirty.six dollars a Dozen" Travers-
.That correct (noving of); good day."
Salesman--"Hold on a minute! Pardon
me, but we require. a deposit from
Tfavers-"Then make n
shirt ss."-Cbthier and Furnisher.
Wash a baby up, clean and dress him
pretty, and he will resist all advances
with a most superlative crossness; but
let him eat chocolates, gingerbread, and
play about with the coal scuttle for about
half a hour, and he will nestle his
dear little dirty face close up to your
clean shirt bosom and be the lovingest
little rascal in all the world.-London
Iid-Bns.
She held her head so very near
It wasn't right, l
The words she came so close to hear
Turned to y kiss somehow.
She started hack-I could not stir,
waited in dismay;
Sharply the words came from her, sir,
You have not shaved to-day
-New York Herald