The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1891-06-17
A BAD CASE


MY husband is ut last convinced Of ths
error of his ways. and has inplored me
to give his free and frank confession to
the world My husband is-or waS-a
very enthusiastic man. and imagines
that he has fine eye for the arts Being
lawyer, he enjoys considerable leisure
in the afternoons, and 1t is this that has
proved his rain shall never forget his
first offense IT was very shortly after
our marriage was wondering why he
was SO hate for dinner when suddenly a
cab drove up to the door
For one moment fancied that it must
be- his mother (wives have their mothers
in-law us well as hrsbands) Imagine
my astonishment when out jumps my
husband with a guilty jauntinesS of
demeanor presents the cabby with five
shillings Il noted this extravaganza my
self from the window. and is followed
by that funrtionary staggering under
an enormous birden. swathed in brown
holland up the steps The usual loafer
rushes forward and fresh gratuity is
distributed. to the horror of my econom-
ical mind At last the thing -appareut-
ly miniature of the great pyramids
deposited in our small hail with reso-
nant bang. and its bearers depart
What on earth makes you so very un-
punctual dear? The soup will be quite
spoiled And what, in heavens name
is this2
i thought you'd like it, darling tthis
with nervous fush). It's the most
wonderful bargain, and it would have
been really wicked to have let it slip
It's genuine Elizabethan-but there
see 1t for yourself.
The mummy like bandages were at
last removed. and what do you think
beheld? An enormous rusty inusty
dusty and hiaeous clock!
Yes he continued IA real, antique
Elizabethan musical clock 1t plays six
tunes OF the period, and, what's more
look at the initials craven on the face
w s I've very little doubt that it
once belonged to Shakespeare himself
who was very fond Of mechanical inven-
tions shall have. of course. to have it
repaired and done up, and then it will
look splendid III the dining room.
He quite took my breath away;
could only ejaculate, Where on earth
did you pick it up, and what did you
pay for itT
AT the sale Of an old house Every
one said it was ridiculonsIy cheap, and
that they'd have given twice as much
if only they had known just think
only hundred dollars Why, could
get two hundred for 1t any day
White elephants were nothing to this
disgusting 'horologe as | found it de
scribed in the catalogue T. cost twenty
dollars to put right. and then itsmashed
twenty dollars worth OF things III being
fixed up 1t sometimes played its mis-
cradle so called tunes SO rapidly that
you had to stuff your fingers in your
ears. at others, it emitted spasmodic
and raven like croak that was positively
alarming
AT last thank heavSl, it stopped
never to go again, and firmly re-
solved that not one penny more should
NC spout iOllSo IL Ntiiltl NHj up Thtih
to this that | subsequently discovered
Geneva makers name inside | could
wish that had been more stern on this
first occasion. but | was weak. like too
many young wives and was satisfied
with a scolding The result was that we
gradually became deluged with the most
miserable miscellany of rubbishy bric-a-
4.
ures, and. in word. the refuse of the
auction room
To believe my husband, we were the
proud possessors Of Cromwells hat, By
rons toothbrush. one of Sheridan's o
US curl of Marie Antoinette's. il Ru
bens, Rembrandt II George Morland
Il believe this latter l. the evil genius of
the Picker upl and w lole roomiul Of
split and useless 'CAippendale' AMI
Sheraton etc And al hal been ne
qnlred at "siles which had a history
at an absurd sacrifice. and 10 the ad
mirauon Of the disappointed bystanders
saw that the iiendish habit was gr,,au-
ally growing upon hinr iRe drink or
gaming hope ! know my duty ! re
solved 10 protect myself aud him, and
after an awful scene ensuing on his ac
question of an Infected sedan chair, ex-
acted from him u solemn pledse u give
mp lais pernieious habit once and for
ever
Bur was inexperienced, lstsald have
knoNn the male mind bettor Deferred
from the opeu pursuit Of his Heiarious
deslgns, he determined 10 snugglr hls
purchases ln secretly hal observed hiin
lingering somewhat usmriuuly uyol
the auction Advertisement ui ihe daiiisi,
and ! uolioei also lhat hls cull pleksts
nHlged out cunuusly 90 n,H nightly g.
mu unv day had uorl-loH lp tidy
las go4d wife should periodically dpl
lhrraallulru NJ hla dr #iHs nam Mhai
do yuu lIlns inHHH lHr dawris
tho liHau nplTs i.r WfU iga r'H,
Wen literally ewmmaI NIIn HHI a
efarsul gni lam.U4 lUi pNH.H
lslsra usWtl tN.NI
walrb eaaa lssa nit'. aal DE
hhN
..... ....." .