St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-04-05
j f A l. o u S
WIFE

One morning John left through habit per
niciouS
His overcoat down in the hall;
"Ahem" quoth the wife, 1.-The OCCASIONS
propiuous
To test johns fidelity though not suspicious,
I'll peep in his pockets, that's all.
"a bundle of letters? and tied with bowf
The perfume is altar of roses!
An, they're from his mother, who worships
him so;
Although not inquisitive. I'd like to know
Just how she begins, aud how closes.
" My own precious love" Just what 1 used
to say!
From Helen, your own until deathr
Why, that's not his mother's-Caroline
May
And why has he torn off the envelopes.
Suspicion quite shortens my breath!
1.-The goose that ANTS some sweetheart
of old
Suspicion shall not blanch my cheek
How foolish to doubt him-the date would
have told;
And yet they're not musty, there's no trace of
mould
Great heavens! they're dated this week
They re burning with love- Oh, my poor
heart will break
While I'm scarcely more than bride
My John to prove faithless-the villain. the
rakel
I'll quickly repair to my chamber and take
That last step in lite--suicide!
I'D leap from the window-but as It's not
I'd look such fright in the fall!
I'd die BY his pistol-but when cold and
stark
There'd be on my temple black powder
IA horrid great hole from the ball
MY corpse mutilated would spoil the effect,
For must look lovely in death.
Cut my throat with his razor:-Oh, let me re-
fleet
'Twouid sever my windpipe, and then, ex-
never could draw my last BREATH
should drown myself down where the
water is clear,
By the mill i'll the deep, placid race?-
The fishes would eat me! No. no! then /
fear
I'll have to hang up by the big chandelier =
And then I'll turn black in the face.
Il might light the fire with the kerosene can,
And go where all treachery ceases;
I'd 90 it with dynamite were l man
No, no! I'll die easy, by some other plan,
And not leave my corpse all IN pieces.
'rll ask the French druggist, just over the
For something to poison the cat.
The gripngs and spasms are dreadful, they
say,
And poison I'll take without any delay,
It 10 pun NE up Inc Il rat
"Oh, tell me, thou prince of all druggists and
leechers,
What poison you keep in this place
For rats, those unhappy mean pesky Great
ureS,
To let them die easy, not puff up their feat
Nor make them turn black in the facegr
"Ah, madam, 1 geeve you re grandest pow
Eat make re rat sweetaire ven deaf:
70 mooch you feel sorry you keel him, by
gaire.
&c rat die so zgentiy. you see him, you swear
lie vas only asleep in re bet!
'Vaire small, leetal pinch eez dose; vat you
Depend on re size of re rat.
Ze rat, ven he leetai, eez vaire sen a-tief:
Won bieg rat, deesconsolate, no wish to lief,
ZjuSt glef him a teaspoon of Eat"
At home in her chamber the poison she
took.
And rolling la agony lay.
When john, coming back for that coat On
the hook
Fast mounted the stairs with an agonized
look.
Where his wife groaned in sweet disarray.
Why. Name, what's the matter oh, joint
pray, explain
These letters found in your coat?''
That coat was my partners, worn home in
the rain.''
Not yoursF Quick! I'm polsoned it's
raeking my brain,
To the druggist-get some antidote!''
So The druggist he rushed-'Sir, you've poi
s0ned my Name
Sais: The Frenchman-"Kee on re apparel,
She want re rat poison-but know re game
Vat don't black &c face of re rat: Ven she
came
Ze pa dage of sugaire I gave, All re same
Siie w4ll lief eef she cat &c whole barrelr'
Fred Emerson brooks.