Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-03-14
MISMATED VOICES.
Humors of Life at the Nation.
al Capital.
FUNNY QUARREL BETWEEN CLERKS


Latter Talking Bass and the Former
High Tenor-''Rooms to Rent"-Car-
Isle Speculates on the Campaign OF
1S02-Payson Talked of for Land Com
Misunderstanding French Spoliation
and Direct Tax Claims
WASHINGTON CITY, March IA most
fudicrous incident occurred in one of the
departments here few days ago. For
number of years this particular depart
ment has employed a supersensitive
spinster of many summers, whose voice is
an unwomanly, unnatural, cultural tone
that would do justice to a mule-drive.
Three weeks ago quiet, transformations
old bachelor, with fine, delicate features,
set his russell valise down upon the desk
OF the chief clerk and presented his
credentials as new appointee to the
clerical department from Wisconsin. The
clerk noted the fact that the man had
peculiarly fine tenor voice, which was
even open to the accusation of being eff
Terminate
They Begin Jawing Each Other.
Now, it happens that there are certain
rooms in this department. which are set
apart where single occupant may work
without being disturbed by other clerks.
and it came about that the new arrival
was placed in one of these rooms beside
one occupied by the spinster. Only light
partition wall interviewed The spinster
had a habit of Willing away leisure hours
by humming stanzas OF favorite hymn,
III there IS anything that is particularly
distasteful to the bachelor from Wiscon-
SIN 1t Is vocal music. The singing an
noyed and fretted him. and finally he re-
quested the occupant of the adjoining
room, who, he supposed, was a man, to
desist, and even emphasized the remark
with an oath, and heated collouuy en-.
sued.
Complaints to the Chief
To be sworn at was in itself an insult,
but to be sworn at by woman was simply
horrible, thought the spinster, and She
threatened loudly to complain to the head
of the department.
IF that is his game" soliloquized the
Wisconsin man, Il will see him out in it.
will inform the chief at once of the epi-
thets that he has hurled at me, even init.
mating that l was an old maid-the mon
ster!"
And so it happened that when each had
carried out their resolves, and both lodged
complaints with the chief, that official was
puzzled. 1T can't be that we are being
imposed upon" he said Il can't think
that Miss Prim would invite her gentle.
men company into the department and
add insult to injury by allowing them TO
handy epithets with lady
A Laushable Denouement
"And what lady could it be? That re-
minds me that the other room is occupied
by Briggs of Wisconsin. Is it possible
that ladies have been visiting him? Here
is scandal that demands immediate in.
vestigation." AS might have been expect
ed, when brought face to face in front of
the chief both sought to talk at once and
both awakened simultaneously to the
grievous error into which they had fallen.
A look of establishment encompassed the
face of each, and the chief of the depart
ment, who had also had a revelation dis
missed the abashed and Inundated couple
and fell into spasm of merriment at this
ludicrous prank which nature played by
her bunglesome bestowment
Boarding Houses at the Capital.
Next to the private secretary the keep
ers OF boarding houses are most sad at the
flight of the congressman. The houses ON
either side of the principal streets are
placarded with such well-known legends
as Rooms for Rent" FURNISHED Rooms
with Board" Rooms Cheap" Some of
these bear evidence of neglected ortho-
graphy. For example. one may read on
Connecticut avenue "Rheums to Let"
and one is convinced that in certain quar-
tiers on G street the denizens have morbid
tastes by this sign: "Rumors Wanted"
Have to Pay for Their Titles.
1t is II mistake to suppose that the great
majority of congressman occupy the more
fashionable boarding houses of the CITY.
The number who actually seek the fash
ionable quarters is small. But congress
men pay well for their titles at the hash
houses A western member recently acted
upon the advice of his private secretary
and sought fashionable suite of rooms in
desirable quarter of the capital, but
when he was asked to contribute four
times as much as his secretary was paying
he asked an explanation.
at is true" exclaimed the hostess shut
are you not congressman?-and that is
something, you know"
SILVER TO BE THE ISSUE.