Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-09-06
This was bad business. discovered

This was bad business. / discovered
IN two days that my long experience
with New York Hat house owners and
other metropolitan cannibals had
taught me only the rudiments Of close
listed and predatory dealing. Uncle
Lem is meaner than Kidd, the Pirate,
who buried his treasure where he
couldn't find it himself. l will not at
tempt to describe the impositions and
extortions by which Uncle Lem endeav-
ored to rob me. Suffice it to say that l
decided that 10 would be cheaper to
move my house over 10 the other side OF
the land, even though l should be
obliged 70 pull up my cellar and plant
Il in a new place.
A new inconvenience presented itself
here, my house occupied exactly half the
width of that land which l originally
supposed that l had purchased. As the
new line established by Uncle Lem cut
my property in half, my house in its new
position would entirely block passage
from my front yard TO that in the rear.
This would be incOnvenient enough
when only ourselves were concerned,
out there was in this case double
element of annoyance. Inspired by
Uncle Lem, soulless miscreant
named Hopkins, who owned land
adjoining mine at the rear had begun
proceedings TO establish a right OF way
through my premises, and had succeed
ed in doing so by the aid Of Uncle Lem,
and his band Of preternaturally gifted
perjurers. figured it out that II l
moved my house over, Hopkins would
have legal right to haul fertilizer and
other farming necessities exactly
through the middle of my dining room.
BY nature, l am man Of almost sanity
forebearance, but l must draw the line
somewhere.
In this difficulty I consulted a lawyer
on several points. First, l inquired
whether Uncle LENS proceedings re-
gardinC the line fence did not invalidate
his previous sale Of the property TO me
or whether the sale did not invalidate
the other thing, or vice versa, or any
other way he could think Of to get me
out of the hole. He examined the pa
pers in the sale and said that they were
drawn in proper legal form; that is,
they would bear any construction which
the mind OF a man could devise. For
sufficient fee he would endeavor to show
before any competent tribunal that the
papers did or did not imply any sort OF
transfer whatever.
Second, I asked him what he thought
Of the right OF way. He replied In
carefully-guarded legal phrases, from
which gathered that he thought 1t
was tough. This opinion ! regarded as
unusually sound for a member OF the
bar TO express.
Third, asked him what he would do
about IL and he suggested that we begin
proceedings and appeal everything.
This suggestion did not appeal TO me
strongly at first, but later was inclined
TO favor IL, in the hope that the tunnel
might cave i'm some day when Hopkins
was passing through. l had already
taken some advice about the cost OF
moving the house, and had more than
half decided to do IL, when l was In
formed OF another suit brought Tor the
purpose of establishing the correct line
OF the fence on the other side OF my
land. sydney Drew lives there, but
this was none Of his doing. Sydney IS
nv friend, bound TO me, as he himself
often admits, by double debt Of graft
tude. Readers Of my previous commu-
nications from Gainesville may remem-
Der that when made Sydney's acquslnt-
ance he was according to his own
melancholy conviction) in q decline,
and destined to a speedy end. The best
Of medical advice obtainable In Grimes
vile favored the theory that something
was the matter with the coat OF his
stomach" This is amslady very preva-
lent in the rural districts. There would
seem to be hardly well-dressed
stomach in any farming community.
took Sydney's case in hand st once
and ordered a change Of diet, taught
him to eat his dinner at night instead OF
at noon. 1 prescribed Welsh rareoit
and ale at 1850 p. m. Under ny regi-
men he was not allowed to retire before
one o'clock IN the morning, nor to rise
before half-past niue. ] taught him to