Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-11-13
UUMOR OF THE DAY.

The tramp's style of expression is never
labored. - Washington Star.
Jagson says it's long loan that has no
returning. -Elmira Gazette.
Even the strictest vegetarian believes
it is meet that he should eat.-Boston
Courier.
We have hair-dressing pariors, and
why not dental drawing -rooms2-Boston
Gazette.
The "balance of the season" is what
troubles paterfamilias. .--Boston Common
aoedlth.
nNo, Gubbins, you will never be
brain worker" "Why not9" "Haven't
got the tools. ."-Dansoille Breeze.
There's one good thing bad boy
won't take, and that Is good advice
Richmond Record.
The dear hunting season has been trans
ferred from the beach to the drawing
room. Pittsburg Dispatch.
In the world of fashion every old hen
has her set. And they manage to hatch
out good deal of mischief. 1ee1s
Sgtings.
The barber who will invent style of
whiskers which the wind can't blow
through has a fortune awaiting him.
Buffalo Erpress.
$50 YOU live in Chicago2" eyes"
care you interested in the fair! "fou
bet, I'm engaged to three of 'em at pres
Cape Cop Item.
Some one says ''poets are decilnlng;
this is evidently mistake. Every poet
will tell you that it is the editors who
are declining. Richmond Recorder.
The young man who says "Thank
you!" when the girl he loves has
promised to be his wife ought never to
saw it in words. .-lS0mer0iAe Journal
He took the coin they gave him there,
It's looks he could not trust;
He raised it to his lips with care
Twas thus he DIT the dust.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Pendergrast lin disgust)-"You
call these shades alikel Is there anything
you can matcha" Mr.. Prendergrast--
stYes. Pennies. Kate Fields Wash'ng-
ton.
"Father," asked boy, "why do they
call this place the Exchanged" "Be-
cause, my son, it is where we exchange
money for experience. "-Bost0n But-
letin.
He (seriously)-"Do you think your
father would object to my marrying
yous" She-sI don't know. If he is
anything like me he would. "-hroohly"
Life.
If some people were to do unto Others
as they would have others do to them
they would not have single moment in
which to look out for themselves
Dallas NewS
.You had better accept Mr.. Hlpple,"
said Mrs. Elder to her daughter; sit is
your last chance" "You think this is
the court of last resort, do you, mamma, !"
asked the girl.-Detroit Free Press.
Editor-in- Chief Ito managing editor)
-sI understand that James has re-
signed" Managing Editor-''James has
abdicated, sir, not resigned. James,
YOU know, was Office boy. Jury.
The husband was reading the news at night,
And his wife said: Tell me, pray,
How many balloonists were killed outright
Who made ascensions to-day
--NeD York Press.
"H'm-that young man of yours-is
he worth anything. fnanciallyF "Why,
YES, papa. He is worth at least S35 a
week to the store, he says, though they
only give him ten."-lndiaaapolis Jour-
nal
Jinks-"Waite would be good mar
to start a church" Finkins-"Why
so2n Jinks-"He has sisters enough
among our leading families to start .
good sized congregation. ."-New Yo'|
Herald.
Miss Pearl White-"I wish you to
paint my portrait" :" DoAbins-'1'm
sorry, ma'am, but l cau't do it," Mis-
Pearl White-s'Why not" Dobbins-".
never copy other paintings. - Cincinnati
Gazette.
First Jeweler-"Do you sell that new
house of Upson, Downs & Coz" Second
Jeweler-''No longer; sold them sew
eral large bills. They paid promptly al
maturity, so I stopped. ."-Je'oeler''
Circular.
Visitor-'I have often wanted to visit
lunatlc asylum, Dut suppose eheIe is
none in the CITY," Resident-"No, bu
we've got Board of Trade. proudly.
Como along. It's in session. 1t will dt
lust as well. Boston Herald.
First Youth (at railway depot)-
ssTrayeled fari" Second Youth-"No
vet, but expect to before l stop. an
Going west to seek my fortune" First
Youth--"I just got back. Lend me
dime. will youg"-Kansas Citg Journal.