The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-26
BRIGHT BITS

IT LOOKS very much as if the barbed-wire
trust had seated itself suddenly and too confid-
ingly upon a coil of its own barbed- wire. Chi
cdgo Times.
Il AN surprised Miss Quickly Tilted her lover
just at this time of the year. l should think she
would feel the loss of a muff," said Goodword.
-NeU York EvenfHG World.
KEEDIcK-Frakshus ought to be shot on gen
eral principles.
Ra1som-You could not hit him there. He
has no principles. LhicG0o Inter Ocean.
THE white house is to be improved by adding
an official wing on the west a public wing on
the east. a conservatory and winter garden on
the south and a new occupant on the inside
Nelo Orleans NeI0 Delta
FUNNY MAN-Say, tell me something funny.
Horse Edtor-How would one Of your jokes
strike your
Funny Man Indignantly -No joking on seri.
Gus subjects, please.-WGs inOton Star.
TIE Governor of Texas to the Governor OF
Ne6raska-There's too much of you for one
little state.
The Governor OF Nebraska to the Governor OF
Texas lin chorusl-Tm. no Hogg!-Chicaqc
Tribune.
IeNoRAMUs- How is the work OF cvillzing and
chrlstianizing Africa progressing?
Cultivated Friend-Very nicely. The Euro.
pean powers have finally succeeded in dividing
the land among them without war.--Net0 York
Weekly.
AwEsTRUCK VIsIToR-It must be very difficult
to produce such an exquisite work of art.
Won Dauber-Nonsensei Almost anybody can
paint picture, but finding rich fellow to buy
1t after 1t is painted is where the art comes in
Texas SJtings.
A-PLINK. a-plunk, a-plink, PUNK,
fail to see where the busic lies;
bass my hand DER the below chords
And blow my dose with Spanish friez;
sneeze and SneeZe and bemoau my fate,
fail to see where winters charms are,
sneeze aud sneeze at the open gate
And blay on my brad new catarrh-catarrh
sn -Detroit Times.
FIRST BURGLAR las the electric light flashes
brightly)-Hist! Let us go.
Second Burglar-Anybody onto us?
First Burglar-No, but under the words "solid
gold" on them price tickets is Isl 40" writ in
small iggers,-Jetcelers' Weekly.
WHAT are those funny little green things?'
asked FlosSie of her country cousin, pointing to
a number of pea pods.
Those are peas, said Tommy.
You can't fool me" retorted Flossie peas
come in big red cans. "-Harper'S BdzGr.
If 1T is RIGHT to allow mine owners to take
their silver bullion to the mint and have it
coined into silver dollars free of expense to
them, why isn't it right TO allow the farmer to
take his milk to the county seat and have pa
ternal government churn it for him into butter:
SomerVtHe Journal
MoTaER-Well did you get that situation as
office boy?
Little Son-No. What was the matter? Don't
know. The gent is lawyer, and ne asked me
If was good whistler, and told him | was
the best whistler on our street, and he said |
wouldn't do. Guess he must want a regular
professional.-Good Netos.
A sTRoLLING SURVEYOR happened along a GER
tain farm house in Illinois, aud offered to run
the farm lines for SO. He was put to work, and
hs found the lines all wrong, and got seven
farmers into fights and lawsuits before the
county surveyor came along and discovered
that the stroller couldn't run a straight line for
twenty rods TO save his life. Then he strolled
again.-Detroft Free Press.