davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

"And / suppose like brave soldier
you followed your colors." eyes,
whenever there was battle / noticed
that the colors were flying, so I flew
toe" Buffalo Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

An agnostic is man who does not
know anything, and glories in the
fact. The atheist is smart man
who rejoices in making fool of him
self, Boston Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

"Well," said Mrs. McGudley, after
her visit to notable social event. II
have heard about society people show
ing each other the cold shoulder, but
from the way some that I saw were
dressed / don't wonder at their should
ers being chilly."-Washington Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18
Mamma, if we cant 90 to Heave

Mamma, if we cant go to Heaven
now, can we move to Philadelphia 7"
"Why, child what put that notion
into your head?"
my book here says that 'Philadel-
phia is noted for its cleanliness and
in another place it says Cleanliness is
next to godliness. '"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

A ton of diamonds at the present
day is worth s35,O0O,000. We fur
nish this information to prevent the
public being overcharged.-Monroe
Citv News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

Misery loves company, and company
makes misery for the housewife when
company comes unexpectedly and she
has nothing cooked in the house.
Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

Fred-"They say Baker has a
great deal more get-up about him
than he used to have" Harry-"Yes,
he has to. They have twins at home.
Detroit Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

II understand there is company
in New York that will furnish dudes
for escorts, or for use at germans and
cotillons, when there is a shortage of
men,"
"I've heard of that. l saw one of
their signs the other day in Harlem
Flats to let.' t.'"-Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

"Now you must not let this 60 any
further" said Watts to Potts, after
retailing a choice bit of scandal.
"Oh, certainly not" said Potts.
"How did you happen to hear it ?"
"My wife told me. She is just like
any woman-can't keep a secret, of
course. Indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

"What was that noise heard in
The parlor last night, Maria :" at
was William breaking his engage
ment."- Boston Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

A Comprehensive Term.-Small
boy-"What is an egotistf" Big man
Zone who talks about himself while
you are aching to talk about yourself"
Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

A New York paper says that "Mrs.
Shaw, the whistler, is still in Europe"
We know some whistlers that we wish
were still in America.-Yonkers
Statesman
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

The True Reason.-Teacher-
"Why Did Washington cross the
Delaware ?" Bright boy-"Because
he wanted to get on the other side."-
Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

There are two things needed in
these days: First, for rich men to
find out how poor men live, and sec,
ond, for poor men to know how rich
men work.-Edward Atkinson.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

1t takes a small boy to tell lie
successfully. If he tells it unsuccess-
fully his father is apt to make him
smart.-Nashyille American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

President Harrison invited the
whole world to come to Chicago in
1893. 1t will be noted with much
satisfaction that Mr.. Jay Gould, the
principal owner thereof. has interpos-
ed no objection thus far.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

He struggling hard to entertain
her)-What month would you prefer
to be married in?
She-Oh, any month you wish
Which shall it be ?"-Bostonian.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

St. Peter-"What's the matter al
portal :"
Spirit-"One of the Four Hundred
has arrived and refuses to go in by
the regular gate. He wants to know
where the stockholders entrance is. u
New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

Miss Prue-"How do you hold on
when tobogganings" Miss Rapiddle
-"Why, on to the man."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

A good name is rather to be chosen
than great riches, though many men
seem to have pretty good time without
either.-Indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

yourself, may be received as of great
er value than anything which money
could obtain.-.Ruth Ashmore, in
Christmas Ladies Home Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

Miss Amy-I don't believe in
throwing kisses.
Goslin-Neither do l. When you
have any for me let me know and /
will come and get them.-New York
Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

.Daily. I Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains
}. WHITING. Ticket Agent.
o.w. .RUGGLEs. @. P. T. Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18

Mrs. Turnbull-It's too bad that
your husband cut off his flowing
beard.
Mrs. Crimple-Yes, but he had to
do it. l gave him a diamond pin for
Christmas.-Life.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-03-18
WIT AND HUMOR.

Is it proper to speak of two physi-
clans as a paradox.-Boston Post.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
OLD SAWS IN RHYME,

Take lime by the forelock; alrs well that end,
we'll;
Time and tide wait for no man; dead men no
taes tell
Coed wine needs no bush; easy come, easy 60;
Seeing is believing; his cake Is all dough.
Where's q will there's . way; barking DOGS
never bite;
Blessings all brighten when taking their flight.
There is honor 'mous thieves; look first ere
you leap;
Whipped cur breads the lash; still waters run
deep.
Each one to his trade; money talks; nip and
tuck;
A flea in his ear; a fool is for luck.
Little leaks sink big ships; Ill news travels
fast;
tn cphbler should stick all the time to his
last.
A fool and bis money soon part; love Is blind ;
Murder will out; fast bind and fast find.
Marry In haste and ir leisure repent;
Upon q mans GRAND boys shouldn't be sent.
Love laughs at locksmiths; more haste the
less speed;
Burnt child breads the fire; take the will for
the Ceeu.
Don, jump at conclusions; bad luck to turn
back;
Both tarrcd by the samc stick; pot calls kettle
black. =
waste not and want not; think thrice ere you
speak;
The weakest must 60 to the wall; hide and
seek.
Lazy folks take most pains; fools at own folly
laugh;
Let sleeping dogs lie; can't catch old birds
with chat.
Though speaking the truth, no one credits a
liar;
Out OF the frying pan into the fire.
Little pitchers have big cars; two strings to
your bow;
As the twig is inclined so the tree has to grow.
Many a true word is spoken in jest;
When SUMS In the west lazy folk work the
best.
lis an i'll wind that blows no one good; a faint
heart
Never fair lady won; best friends must part.
What is one persons gain is another ones
Make hay while the sun shines; rolling stones
get no moss.
Turn about is fair play; wine in and wit out;
Beggars can't choose; take a trick when in
doubt
Less talk and moro doing; drowning men
clutch q straw;
AL cry and no wool; order is Heavens first
law.
Swallow n camel and strain at q enat;
Don't cry over milk that Is split; tit for tat.
Rob Paul to pay Peter; evil he who tn inks
evil;
Put n begGar on horseback lie rides to the
devil.
A short road TO ruin; truth lies in a we'll;
First come Is first served; good intentions pave
hell.
II. C. Dodge, in Goodalrs Sun.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19

Of the tool house to the height of the
floor than to use an incline. us it Is
easier to roll the stock in and out. An
excellent building erected for this pur-
pose | saw in Worcester county, Mass.
1t is built like the drawing. The little
doors enter a shop S feet wide across
one end. Rolling doors protect the re-
mainder of the front. They are hung
so as TO pass nj another or the small
doors and the convenience is perfect.
Wagons or machines out Of order may
be taken bodily into the shop where
wrenches, etc, quickly puS them to
rights wet days. The shed is 20 feet
wide and may be made of any desired
length. A rolling platform sx12 feet
overs an aperture in the upper floor
through which slcighs, rakcs and other
light things are raised by pulleys for
storage. A piece of scantling fastened
TO the wall ear the floor will prevent
and wagons from marring it
with their hubs. Abundance of light
should be let in and the fowls kept out
the same as snow and other destructive
aGencies.-IIollistcr Sage. in Farm and
Home.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
DRIVING THROUGH MUD.
How to Prevent Needless Wear and Deca!
of Buggies and Wagons.

How to Prevent Needless Wear and Decay
Of BuSgies and Wagons.
After a heavy rain, when carriage
roads are covered with two or three in
inches (morc or Less of partly liquid
mud, a buggy may be driven for miles
with such care as to receive very little
of it except what adheres to the rims
of the wheels. Or n mud-pool extend
ing the whole breadth of the road may
have to be passed and would spoil the
new varnish of the vehicle unless the
driver has learned by trial how fast
he must drive for the occasion. We
have seen careful driving over a GER
tain road, with scarcely any deface-
mcnt: and again needles y driving over
the same line with formidable damage.
A vehicle which is allowed to become
covered more or less with soil and
sand is worn out in half the time which
n clean II may continue to he used.
When it is remembered that the wheel
vehicles of the country ut large have
cost the owners in the aggregate more
than two hundred million dollars, the
q of money sa-cd in preventing
needless wear and decay must b, OBJ
viouS.
If the horse is driven on a walk. or
about three miles m hour, the mud
will adno-e to the rim of the wheels
and I've carried up by them as they
r-volve. Its weight will cause it to
drop on the spokes and hub, and
these, in a short time, will be cov
cred with it in one adhering mass.
But drive a little faster, on a slow or
moderate trot, four and a half or five
miles an hour, and then the mud which
is carried up on the rim of the wheels
will not drop, for the increased circular
motion now given to them will impart
enough centrifugal force to hold the
mud to the wheels. The rim is the only
part that will be muddy; the spokes
and hub will be clear. The writer has
successfully practised this course more
than fifty years. But if the horse is
driven six or seven miles an hour, this
increased velocity will send the mud
off, and all parts OF the vehicle will re-
eeive a copious plastering. At a speed
of eight or nine miles, it will be shot as
high as the top of the cover and the
driver will be liable to receive a liberal
share.-Country Gentleman.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19

and arms were bare ard ever her
ivory shoulders fellthc long, glittering
masses Of her hair, braided with strings
of rxrest pearls A deep flush was IN
her cheeks, her eyes tvefe bright with
excitement; and thefe Was a fearless
Ness ia ReF niei as she went forward
TO Prince which 1nits won my admira-
tion, while at the same time it filled
me with ~nanieless terror.
She put her soft hands on his head.
and the creature aroused fromhis sleep
and turned his lose SO that IL rested
against her arm, uttering at the same
time a low grunt of satisfaction.
As stood there breathlessly watch
ing every motion, 7 saw Andrus give
Cain a sharp thrust In the side with a
burbed spear he held, and as he did so
Cain sprans forward with d fierce
ntowl and seized my poor tnca in his
ferocions Jaws. simultaneously the
black=heaTted Andris dashed open the
door of the cage and fed.
It was then that Prince aroused him
self, and with a roar that shook the
place to its foundations, he turned
Upon The now covering and frightened
Cain. Such n fearful conf bat as cnsued
/ trust may V see again.
had broken from those who would
have held me back, and thrown my
self into the den at the very first; and
over my PROSTATE body, as | ciasped
my dead love to my heart, these two
kings Of the forest settled their deadly
revenge.
Prince was victorious. Cain lay
crushed to atoms in his iron jaws; and
when only blood md broken bones re-
manned of his adversary Prince came
to my side and looked down upon the
dead face of his gentle mistress with
eyes in which ! am sure read an nj.
most human grief. He touched her
carefully with his huge paw, he put
his nose to hN cold check, and then,
turning away, he hid his face in his
paws, and for two days, they told me
afterward. he would neither eat nor
drink.
For weeks after the death of my
darling | was mercifully unconscious,
wrestling in the grip of brain fever,
which came near being fatal; but
youth and a good constitution tri-
umphed, and I came back to life and
to a sorrow which shall never end until
I clasp hands with her on the other
You ask what became of Andrus?
When he left the cage on that fatal
he had to pass through the den
of the tigers. He had lost his self
possession and the beasts made a
meal of him. 1t was just as well for
him. for I should have killed him the
moment I had gained strength enough
to do so; for | knew then, as know
now, that he had sworn Incz should
lever be mine, hat he would give her
10 death sooner than to me, and he
doubtless goaded Cain to the fatal at
As for me. | travel still with the cir
Gus. Prince is my especial Gaze. We
live together a great deal and I feel
for him such a love, ! suppose, as other
men feel for their families.
lie is getting toothlcss and purblind,
but his noble spirit still remains, and I
never can forget hat he killed my
1arling's raven murderer and would
nave saved her if he could.-IIcro
in n. Y. Weekly.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
AGRICULTURAL HINTS
sHELrER FeR MACHINES.
Why Every Well Reguiated Farm should
iiate a FOOL Hoisc.

Why Evcfy Well Farm should
Have a Tool House.
II Il not to be wondered at that a
ifacturers of agricultural machinery
get rich. The owner of farm machinery
would do vastly better to go in debt for
means with which to build a tool and
machine house than To get trusted for
new implements with which to work
his land and then leave them to natures
mercies. The i~ndispensables in n tool
house are a tight roof and dry floor. For
the former it is doubtful II anything is
Superior or in the long run cheaper
thnn shingles. For foof lumber will
do, but a well=drained. slightly raised
floor made Of coal ashes. engine Gin
defs, clay Or brick is preferable, being
more durable and stronger. But n floor
of this kind positively must be we'll
TRAINED or the machines will be injured
by dampness from below. Where a
site can be secured next the road and
sloping from it, the sills laid on low
walls can be filled level with the floor
ing. This will pack down hard and
give great satisfaction. On level land
it is better to raise the ground in front
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
DIED WITH HIS BOOTS OFF.
1t wns His Last Request and the Miners
We're Willing to Grant 1t.

1t WHs His Last Request and the Miners
Were Willing to Grant II.
"You have heard Il good deal about
men who have died with their boots
on" said an old citizen of Butte City.
That act was supposed to represent
n certain degree Of heroism. am re-
minded of an incident which took
place about thirty weeks ago. A
fellow had robbed one of the men in
camp and there was a good deal of x.
citement.
The miners turned out and the fell
low who had committed the robbery
backed out of town. The posse fol.
lowed, and occasionally a shot was
fired, but SD great respect did the early
miner have for justice hat the attack
of a whole town on this n man made
the attacking party give the fellow Il
show. lie fell back. When he reached
a point at the base of the mountain he
dropped into a dug-out and almost dis.
appeared.
The attacking party followed, and
when they got within hailing distance
they called on him to surrender. He
refused. They told him they would
give him time TO consider and assured
him he would be given a fair trial if he
would come out. He still refused.
Just about the time the word to fire
was given the fellow in the hole threw
up one hand and asked to be permitted
to make a statement.
.sHiS ~renueSf was granted Un TOLD
them that he had concluded to die, but
he wanted to die like a Christian gen.
tleman and not like an outlaw. The
request was granted. but the leader of
the posse called back TO him that he
thought he would require some in
structions on That question. The fellow
in the hole said he guessed not. He
was then told to make himself ready.
He pulled off one boot and then the
other. Then he threw them outside his
hiding place and said:
81 die like 4 Christian gentleman: /
die with my boots off,
"A volley answered the words and
the fellow dropped back. Twenty bull
lets went into his body, and rs the
posse drove away they took off
their hats to the dead man as they rode
by and looked at his body. And that
night, after a successful game in the
city, the hat was passed around and
enough money vas raised To put his
body in a coffin and send it back to the
home whence it had come."-Albany
Argus.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
STRANGE COINCIDENCE.
An Editor Suffers the Consequences of
His Early Crime.

"a ISIS "
His Early Crime.
An English gentleman vouches for
the truth of a very singular coincidence,
which without such testimony it would
be hard to credit. About twenty-five
years ago n man who had been in a
counting-room in Manchester was con-
victed of theft from his employers, and
sentenced to Imprisonment for two
years. When he had served his time
he found it impossible to get employ
ment as bookkeepcr again, and after
trying other things settled at last into
journalism. in which he was reasona-
bly, successful.
His life was now thoroughly honest,
and after several years he was sent to
edit a paper in a British colony where
his story was unknown.
He was working his way up, and en-
Toying once more the respect of his fell
lows as a man of unblemished reputa-
ton, when the wind n day tore the
roof from a building on the opposite
side of the street. This building had
formerly been used as a post Office.
Under the roof were some old ncwspa-
pers which had not been delivered from
want of proper addresses; and these
papers were blown about the street.
With true journalistic enterprise one
of the staff of the journal edited by
the ex-convict examined these wind.
blown papers with a view 20 finding
anything of interest which they might
contain, and fate directed his attention
to an account of the trial and convie-
ton Of the editor.
As the editor was doing all that an
honest life can do to redeem a past
farit. it Is sad 10 be obliged to add that
the story was told, and that it went far
toward running the unfortunate man.
fouNh's Companion
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
SOCIETY'S LATEST.

THE rulers Of Russian society disap-
prove of flirting. They have made an
unwritten code that no man must waltz
more than once around the room with
his partner.
A BANGOR (Me.) jeweler tired of
souvenir spoons has hit upon the idea
of souvenir scarf pins. His first effort
in the line is the Hamlin pin, with a
bust of the deceased ex-vice president
for Q head.
TIE latest fad among women who en-
terrain n good deal is The autograph
table spread, upon which each guest is
invited to write his name with a blue
pencil. The outlines are afterwards
embroidered.
IT is a popular fad to have the por-
traits of yourself and your family litho-
graphed upon the bottoms of cups and
saucers. A popular superstition has
prevented the custom from extending
to soup plates.-Chicago Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19

A contemporary summarizes the In
teresting account Of "Neighborhood
Guilds given by DR.. Stanton Colt, the
yotnE American who has been apply
Ing 10 London life the experiment
which he had already carried out in the
Heart Of New, York poverty. A neigh.
borhood guild consists IL y Humber Of
small clubs formed according to ass.
DR.. Colts field is divided into five clnbs
two for young boys and girls. two
for youths and maidens and one for
adults. In each guild the clubs
are small enough for the leader
to know each member personally
the vice Of excessive size being
One which 1t. Colt condemns. Several
guilds may federate-the theory Of the
Euild is that of reproducing the family
DIS the best type Of corporate life. Above
all, everything is built on a Democratic
basis. aud each guild is self-governing.
IT'S the chief idea of each guild-worker
that there is to be no condescension, no
''Ediig down. to the poor. The success
Of the various experiments in guilds
shows that this form Of charity meets
certain needs Of the age, and undoubt-
edly leads to an extension of social SYM
patty, and to a better understanding
between the rich and the poor.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
CHiLDREN'S READY ANSWERS.

GRAMMATICAL. = Teacher 't1n the
sentence: The sick boy loves his fiedi-
cine what part of speech Is lover
Johnny-''It's a lie, MUM"
PERFECTION. Teacher -"Ned, YOU
are a perfect blockhead." Pupil
''Thank you, sir! That's the first time
you have called me perfect in any
thing"
TEAcHER-"Willie, I have observed,
with great pain, that for several morn
ings past you have been tardy." Little
Willie (proudly)-"fes. sir. I tie my
own necktics now"
A CRUsHISa ANswER.-Uhcle james
"What. smoking again, Tommy? Don't
you know that no smoker ever grows
tall?" Tommy-"They don't, oh? Well,
just look at that chimney. 1t smokes
like sixty, and papa's just had it made
six feet taller"
A SMALL boy who had disobeyed his
mother and gone off to play was re-
proved with the greeting: "Why,
Johnny, aren't you ashamed of your
self?" To which the boy replied: "Yes,
ma, but Id rather be ashamed than
miss all the fun | had"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-09-19
f7-7T- III vi "
FOR WAR ON The SEAS.

NAVAL MINISTER BARLEY, in q recent
investigation Of the French marine, be-
eafie convinced that MANY Of the high
er naval officers were totally inconipe-
tent.
All the iron and steel vessels of'ihe
navy are to be painted white, because
It is found that in a hot climate white
hulled vessels arc twelve degrees cooler
than those painted black. re-
GLOUCESTER, Mass, wishes of the
boats of the new navy named after
her, claiming that she is the homeport
for more Of American merchant marine
to-day than any other place.
ADNIRAi EILiorf expresses the opin-
ion;since the recent British i%ianetivcrs;
that numerical superiority in torpedo
gun Vessels is OF equal, if not greater.
importance than in battle ships"
SINCE the Japanese have had war
ships they have been experimenting
With lacquer as a protection TO the
bottoms, with marvelously satisfactory
results. The Fuso-Kan, after having
been lacquered for a year. was found
to be in perfect condition.