The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1891-01-23
ROYALTY AND REPARTEE.


Court Fools Who Have Turned the Laugh
on Mighty soverciens.
Decidedly the worst OF the exchange did
an eastern sovereign receive when, having
bought several horses from some mer-
chants, he gave them q lac of rupees to
purchase more for him.
Soon after they had departed he in a
sportive humor ordered his vizicr to make
out d list of all the fools in his dominions.
He did So and put his majesty's name at
the head of them.
The king asked why.
He replied, Because you intrusted lac
OF rupees to men you didn't know, and
who will never come back"
AYE, but suppose they should come
back?'
'"Thcn," said the vizicr, II shall erase
your name and insert theirs.''
Very pointed was the answer Frederick
the Great received from one of his suite.
AS is we'll known tho king waa axtreraely
fond OF disputation, but as ho generally
terminated the discussion by collaring his
antagonist and kicking his shins few Of
his guests were disposed to enter into the
arena against him.
One day. when he was even more anxious
than usual for an argument, he turned to
u nobleman and asked why he did not cx-
press his opinion
"lt is impossible, your majesty" was the
reply, ITO express an opinion before SOW
ereign who has such strong convictia.e,
and who wears such very thick boots''
In the answer which a German prince
was given there seems to be n rcbuke for
his misgovcrnment implied. Having in Il
dream seen three rats-onc fat, the other
lean and the third blind-he sent for eel
ebrated Bohemian gypsy md demanded an
explanation.
THE first rat" said she, "is your prime
minister, the lean rat your people and tho
blind rat yourself.'
A very good hint was also smartly put
by Mr. Coutts, the banker, to the Duke of
York.
The duke having said to Coutts, II
think, sir, you have been my banker for
more than twenty years?' the banker re-
torted: #
Your royal highness, l think, may be
said to have been my banker during that
time, as my money has been in your hands,
not your money in mine"
Perhaps, though, the richest piece Of
humor ever told Of royalty, in that one Of
the principal actors in the scene was most
likely unconscious Of the rapier keenness of
his retort, will be found in the following:
One Of the shahs of Persia was more anx-
ious than able to acquire fame us Il poet,
He had just completed new performance
in very peculiar meter'' and summoned
the court poet into the royal presence to
hear the poem read.
The laureate was either an unusually
conscientious courtier or be was afraid Of
losing his berth it his master took to rhynl-
ing on his own account. and when his opin-
ion was asked he condemned the conpo-
siton.
H..e shah. euraFata at this uncourtly
criticism gave orders that the court poet
should be taken to the stable and tied up
i'll the same stall with Il donkey. Here tho
poor sinner remained until his royal rival
had perpetrated another poem, when he
was again commanded to appear before the
throne and submit to Il second infiction of
sovereign aullness. lie listened in silence
while the new poem was read, and at tho
conclusion, his opinion being required, he
fell upon his knees and significantly ex-
claimed to the royal author, 'Send me
back to the donkey cyI''-London Tit-Bits.
Have you ever heard now n at =. ,ioouwil!
effected cure ut Carlsbad? lie had been
ailing for months was ull run down and
everybody advised him to go to Europe.
So go he did taking his wife with him. In
Europe everybody told him he ought to-
try Carlsbad He went to Carlsbad, Sc
cured lodgings and settled down. Took Il
walk around town, consulted doctor, tried
to find something to do and finally went to
bed out of sheer despair. Got up next
morning, visited the spring, took one taste
of the water, tried to talk with several
other iuv;tids-all foreigners. Went back
to his lodgings and began to pack up,
Come on, Lizzie, said he.
"Why, Nat, what do you mean. Where
are you going:" she asked.
''Im going home, y said he. II came llerc
to get well, but I'll die if stay here twenty.
four hours longer"
but. Nat" she demonstrated, ''you'ro
not cured yet
"Oh, yes, am, ~ said he; Tin cured Of
Carlsbad, and that's experience enough for
one summer. Eugene Field in Chicago
Nn,rc