St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-09

angrily: I'VE are able to manage our own
affairs, and will select GOV. Foraker as our
next United States senator" But the one
with strong penehant for Forakerism is
non compos mentis, and utterly unqualified
to manage his own affairs.
-
The decrepit Grant monument fund in
New York has at last been forced to resort TO
the stimulating influence of Porter,
-
To tramps: Chicago offers two cents a
head for dead sparrows; 2l2 sparrows X2-
1 glass of beer.
OFF with his headl SO much for bucking
bomb throwers.
Milwaukee is playing a 5 to shot IL she
imagines that her new Kelley institute will
prove an irresistible attraction to the next
national Democratic convention.
-
The election of Speaker Crisp removes
from the field a host of fluent young para
graphers who were sharpening their pencils
preparatory to writing: 1.-THE Mills of the
gods grind slowly
Blaine is grooming himself for the race;
it is now announced that the state Of Maine
is to have kite-shaped track.
The law of libel is a most exasperatingly De-
culiar one. You can can call a man Estate
stealer'' with mpunity. If you accuse him
OF stealing $40 you are in danger of suit for
damages.
On the opening of congress Thomas B.
Reed marched down toward the speakers
chair-and then marched back again.
-
An autograph letter from B. Harrison. con-
tanning his personal diagnosis of Jim Blaines
health, would be an interesting contribution
to the weird in literature.
Wilson, the New York dynamiter, attempt
ed to take up COLLECTION with Il bombshell.
The collection subsequently, taken up con-
sisted. principally, of the remains of Mr..
Wilson.
Hogeles-What is your conception of an
ideal dinner?
Goggles-Stewed terrapin with Madeira.
Hoggles-Would you add anything to it?
Goggles-Yes: canvasback duck and cham
payne.
Hoggles-Anthing else?
Goggles-Yes; more champagne.
Along about holiday season the nimble
pickDocket. like the rain from heaven, falls
upon the just and the unjust.
Joe Howard utters fierce philippe against
"a woman who stenches herself with per
fume,'' and adds the hysterical inquiry: "Oh,
oh, is there anything worse than that awful
odor?' Yes: the Glove on a whisky drinking
mans breath.
Iceman Turner was awarded the prize of
the doorkeepership of the house. lie took
his election very coolly.
-"
For the benefit of number of astute Re-
publican organs, it is just as well to say that
Speaker Crisp was not elected because
Georgia was doubtful state, nor was Mr.
Mills defeated because Texas was safe any
way. The only logic of events in the whole
contest was this: there were five popular
candidates for the Office and Mr.. Crisp re-
ceived the most votes out OF a total of 22S
Drop nickel into a newsboy and get Re
publican definition of The true meaning of
the speakership result"
~
tration draws to an inconsequential close, the
little man essays to give slight evidences of
show of pugGacity. In his forthcoming mes
sage he viii have something to say concern
ing the present attitude of Chilli, and Incl
dentallv ask the American people what they
propose to do about it,
-
And so our plotless literary ex ponent, Will
lam Dean Howells. is to begin making fare
well tours of Boston. Come. Rise Up Silas
Llpham, and go along with me
-
The Injunction to remove cost marks from
Christmas presents does not necessarily ap-
ply to other articles aside from rhinestones
and Waterbury watches.
-
Chicago paper suggests that their own
ers put snowshoes on The running horses
out at Garfield Park But this does not com
port satisfactorily with the fact that many of
the men who bet on these fixed races are
now going around without overcoats.
-
The announcement that rare Ben Butler
was on his deathbed appears to have been
premature. Gov. Butler was only bottled
up by temporary indisposition.
1t is pity the jury in the Russell divorce
case conld not have handed i'll good repu-
tation for the earl along with its verdict
-
Since the return of Eugene Field from Eu-
rope he appears to be firmly welded to the
use OF the word nasty as descriptive ad-
jective applicable to almost everything I'M
der the sun. If this is the best thing he
brought through the custom house, aside
from Gladstone's AK, he should never be al
lowed to revisit old England.
-
No unusual surprise need be excited by
the success of Speaker Charles Frederick
Crisp. 1t is an extremely difficult matter to
keep a bald-headed man from coming to the
front.