The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1891-01-01
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.


-Pittsburg is properly spelled with
final h, or that is the photography OF
he city's charter.
1T seems to be easier to be Ma
| poleop of Finance than to pay 100 cents
al dollar,-Lewiston Journal.
(which side did the old maid take
IN the marriage discussion?" THAT mar
riage Is not a failure. Yankee Blade
The man who runs his boots down
at the heel has hard time keeping his
toes square with the worlt.-Ram's
Horn.
-"Pat, you must be older than you
look to be. How long have you been
voting2' 'Iver since the polls opened
this marning, be gobs!"-Epoch,
-0lapa-"1 think Fred is one of the
most weak-kneed fellows ever met. :"
Nellie (Fred's best girD-"I don't think
So He holds me we'll enough. Boston
Herald.
The Modern Great Man.-"When
were you born, Prof. Greathead." "The
nth day of May, 1882 or SO II am not
sure; but you will find it in the encyclo-
p9dia. "-Fliegende Batter.
-Alice-''Why, Edith, is that you?"
Edith-"Do you think look we'll in
it?" Alice-"Yes, indeed hardly
knew you. "-Munsey's Weekly.
Physician Ito country editor) -
"Your pulse is decidedly better. How
about your circulation9' Country Edi-
tor absent mindedly) -" CirculationP
About two thousand. Subscription
price, S1.5O per year. "-Harper's Bazaar
lyon don't know what phenome
non is? Why, cow is no phenomenon
and an apple tree is not a phenomenon
either, but if the COW should climb the
apple-tree, that would be a phenome-
non. "-Fliegende Batter.
-Bjohnson-"Have you bought
ticket to the church fair?" Bones
mot yet; but speaking of church fairs,
what an awful highway robbery that
was in Arizona, yesterday. Lawrence
American.
--Reader-'Yes, I liked your new
novel very we'll; but 1 observe the
critics do not find your characters nat
ural." Novelist-'I made those char
actors up out of my own head" Reader
-"Ah! l see the critics think they are
rather wooden. America.
Practical Dame - "How much are
those fsh?" Marketman - sixteen
cents pound, ma'am." Practical Dame
THAT seems very high, but then,
know fishing is very hard on the consti-
tutien. Every time my husband goes
he has an awful headache the next
morning. GOOD News,
Employment Agent-"Th' top o tn
mornin' t We. Biddy Maloney. Olive
e. o. l.
an number ye foind on this card"
Domestic-"Sure, it's pdice neighbor-
hood, OH 60" Agent-Wait minute,
Biddy. Take off that French cap. It's
not French maid, but an American
CURL they wants IN. Y. Weekly.
Awful, indeed!-Mrs. Kawler-'I'm
sorry that your husband was caught and
sent to prison for his embezzlement OF
the banks funds" Mrs. Ab-Sconder =
eyes, and the worst of it was that in
court they put him fight into the same
pea with all the cheap, petty thieves
So degrading to a man who stole $780,
oO0"-Lawrence American.
Tho Importance Of thinking before
you speak recently received an amusing
illustration at meeting held in we'll
known town not hundred miles from
the banks of the Hudson. One of the
persons who occupied the stage was an
enthusiastic deacon, who frequently in
terrupted the speakers by yelling:
THANK goodness for that!" One gen.
tleman was called upon who arose and
said: Ladies and gentlemen, I am
heart and soul in this cause, and feel
that it would be great benefit to the
people of this place" '"Thank goodness
for thatr' yelled the deacon. "But,
ladies and gentlemen" he continued,
81 am going to say that it will be impos-
sible for me to address you this evening
=" ''Thank goodness for that!' broke
in the absent-minded deacon, amidst
general laughter.-N. Y. Ledger.
OId-Time Remedies Derived from Une Aur-
NAL Kingdom.
A writer in an old number OF the
Galaxy has furnished a curious exhibit
OF the practice of c2d-time doctors in the
use of reme3Scs derived from the ami
NAL kingG5n. 1t furnishes a good meas
ure of the progress of the human intol-
lect Insects once formed a class OF
considered very effective in
certain cases. and time was when the
doctor would order a dose of three gnats
or throe drops of lady-bird milk, Just as |
he might order three grains of calomel |
in our day. Wood lice. ants and beetles |
used to be prescribed for the cure of |
toothache. The sacred beetle is eaten |
by the women OF Egypt and regarded as
an emblem of fertility. The oil-beetle |
sxudes deep yellow oil from the joints |
Of the legs, which was esteemed diuretic
and used in rheumatic complaints; it
has also been recommended in hydro
phobia. In some cases the effects at
sributed to these curious remedies may
possibly be produced by them, as, for
Instance whom Turkish women eat,
cooked with butter, the bkaps sulc0ta Ia
iort of beetle), with view to the de-
Telopment of fat; but when the same
'emedy Is represented as an antidots
'gainst earaohe and the sting Of the
Scorpion, We are less inclined to believe
q lts sff1oaey. &uhristian Cd Work.