The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-04-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Never apart-1ne whole.
A bear -trap-Rising stocks.
Generally speaking, woman is seldom
silent.
An elevator is a sort of hand-me down
affair.-St. Joseph Neos.
The copyright law means no right to
copy.-Pittsburgh Press.
1t always annoys a man to ind a new
acquaintance as vain as he is himself.
A good motto for the poaching sealers
would Become early and avoid the
"Rush. ."-Pucb.
To landsuan it would seem that
cutter should be at home in a chopping
sea.-Boston Courier.
"This is terrible weight of gilt"
moaned the little picture with the big
frame Washington Post.
The sunlight comes for rich and poor
alike; the blizzard is mostly for poor
folk Ml,oa,tkee Sentinel.
He was so very ugly, this
Extraordinary man,
That when in battle he faced death,
Death turned away and ran.
-NelU York Herald.
In old times a strong arm was neces-
sary to the dictator; but just now he
finds short hand far more Important
Puck.
Maud-"Has Clara really travelled so
extensively~ Ethel--"No, but she has
read the guide books carefully. ."-Nua-
SeyS Weekly.
During the winter the Len may be
dilatory, but she generally comes to the
scratch when the garden is planted
Ie1as Siftings
To keep resolution, base it firmly on
good and sufficient grounds, and do not
forget either the preamble or the resolu-
tion.-7e1as S0tinqS.
''Do you think those shoes are worth
mending2" ''Vell, yas, if l zole and
heel TEN, and put new uppers on tenn.
The strings are still goot. ."-LJe.
Professor of History-''What,d do YOU
know about Louis XIV.s time" Jack
Misunderstanding, sir; never knew
he was a sprinter. ."--Haroard Lanp0oa.
I'd rather boast no family
And rise to mighty things,
That claim to be descended
From long line of kings.
-Munseys Weekly
An agricultural editor says that the
best article he ever saw on milk was
cream. Some city people think that it
was not very widely copied.
Courier.
He-"How did you know was at the
doorl l didn't pull the bell" She
(admiring the circlet he has Just placed
upon her finger)-'T heard the engage
ment ring. ."-Ne,o York Herald.
Mr.. Brezey-"Just on your account,
madam, I've been hiding my light under
a bushel for years!n Mrs. Brezey-"O,
dear! EXtravagant as ever! Why didn't
you buy pint cupl"-Nem Kor} Horald.
Dear Widow Brown, my love is truem
,,',A A our smoking, sir, against you pleads.n
III give up smoking dear for YOU"
Then I'll give up my weels.n
Judge.
''But this girl Egbcrt is engaged to
isn't she giddyl She seemed to me
rather thoughtless creature" " ssThought.
less !" answered Egberts mother. "She
is absolutely thinkess. "--hd,anapois
Journal.
"Intelligence has just reached me-
began Mr.. Blodger, as he sat down to
the dinner table. "Thank heaven if it
has, at last" exclaimed Mrs. Blodger,
and the food was partaken of in silence.
-L0loeH Citizen.
$50 you wait railroad position"
unused the Superintendent. "Do YOU
think YOU could Give nm intallioent
account of an accident?" Eyes, sir, I'm
sure l could" "Then think we have
no place for you, "-Eimira Gazstte.
In the Restaurant.-'I am sorry. Mr..
scnoferl, to have to ask you not to como
to this restaurant any more, but YOU are
so continually shaking your head that it
might give rise to misapprehension as
to the quality of the dishes. know, of
course, that you are reading the political
news, but the other guests don't know
1t. '--Fliegeade Blasttey.