The Portland daily press., 1891-06-30
FLoRENcE's TERRAPIN STORY.
An Experienced SheIIback that
Easily Recognized Major Handy.
TChicago News.

"Day before yesterday" says MI. Will
lam j. Florence, the comedian, 81 met my
friend Handy, of the Worlds fair. Never
saw him looking SO well before in all nv
life; have known him, too, for going on
| thirty years. was mighty glad to see
him, and we had nice long visit. Showed
me letter he had just got from his little
| girl, who is on a visit somewhere in Texas.
Dear papa she wrote, you would like the
savoir talre down here in Texas very much,
but the cuisine wouldn't suit you.' Well,
we mad great laugh over that letter. The
result OF our meeting was that l agreed to
dine with Handy at the Richelieu last
night. He said that Landlord Bemis
wanted / should try his stewed terrapin.
But bless you, my dear Moses says I,
there's no such thing as genuine terrapin
in the west You may get the canned arti-
Gle, but surely not the liveP'
"'Oh, yes answered Handy. 'Bemis
assures me that it's the genuine thing, and
guess it is, for I've seen it,
"'Alive? says |.
"'Alive,' says he.
well, went away. What superb
hostelry the Richelieu isl It's unique in
its way. Upon my word, l never saw its
equal Such furnishings, such woods,
such upholstery, such china, such glass,
such service, such winesl declare there's
nothing like it elsewhere in all the world.
Bemis, too, is so cordial, so hospitable and
so intelligent. He seemed so glad to act as
my host, and he wasn't the least backward
about telling me where everything came
from and how much it cost. These are Sc
crets which some landlords are mean
enough not to disclose. Bemis is not that
kind. He is free with his information, and
| was glad to get it.
when the terrapin came on. attention
called to the elegant solid silver chat
ing dish in which it was served. This dish
was made in Paris out of South American
silver. 1t cost, as l was told, $780, The
ornamentation, relieves and embossings
were ornate beyond description, and on the
cover appeared the Bemis crest, gar
nished with diamonds and emeralds. The
contents of this incompatible dish were
steaming hot. was served upon hand
painted Dresden plate which, as Twas told,
was worth its weight in gold.
DO you like my terrapinP asked Bemis
"Now, honestly, was disappointed in
the Wand. l had eaten terrapin in Balti-
more, Washington and Philadelphia-ter-
rapin in every style-and fattered myself
that if in all the world there was a terra
pin connoisseur he was William j. Flor
ence and none other. Bemis' terrapin had
that distinct flavor which betokens a long
season of preservation. Ishould have said
it was canned terrapin; it was sapid, savo-
ry and delectable, yet not quite the thing.
But, of course, told Bemis that it was
splendid; and indeed the fine old Madeira
twenty-five dollars bottleD made up for
every deficiency.
I am glad to hear you say it, said Be-
mis-; our friend Handy here has been in
sinuating that l don't keep the genuine
article; whenever l serve it he intimates
that it is the canned terrapin.'
'Ah, but this is surely the genuine
quoth /.
"Tndeed it is,' said Bemis and l can
prove it too. Here, waiter-garcon-g
down into the deepest moat under the cell
lar wall, and bring me up one of those ter
rapin. Donnaymoy Won terrapin, toot
sweet, see VOC play
"The waiter-a Frenchman, of course
hustled off. Handy tried to apologize. 4
don't mean to say that you haven't got ter
rapin,' said he. for you've exhibited 'em
alive every time you had terrapin in the
| bill. What / do say is that your cooked
| terrapin tastes like the canned goods
"Bemis pooh poohed the idea, and pres
emily back came the waiter carrying big
| tray, and on the tray sprawled a sure
enough terrapin. You can't fool me on
| the genuine article The terrapin has GER
| tain distinct markings, colorings, shad-
ings; this Bemis terrapin was a splendid
| specimen.
"'Set it down in the middle of the table,
| said Bemis, and the waiter did so.
"'I've got the cellar full of 'em-more'n
a million, | guess said Bemis. Don't
| feed 'em anything but minced liver and
| Bethesda water. All fat as butter and
lively as crickets. When the nights are
still you can hear 'em whistling like night
81 was satisfied that had done Bernis a
serious injustice. Another taste of the
stew convinced me that it was not the
| canned, but the genuine article. So ap
| piled myself with restored confidence to
the Wand. All at once Handy nudged me,
whispering hoarsely; Billy, did you notice
| anything?
81 looked up at him. He was white as a
| ghost, and he trembled. 'Sakes alive! what
| ails you, MosesS' asked.
| "'Do you notice anything queer-any-
thing strange or weirdr he asked.
| " No; of course not. WhyY
Then must have taken too much of
| the Madeira said he, and he called for
bottle of apollinaris.
"But presently he said, There it goes
| again-look at it-that terrapin-can't you
| see-it's bowling at meP
VASTLY surprised, looked up and fixed
| my eyes on the terrapin. The creature had
| crawled to the edge of the tray and reached
Il -, Nala. ~ = l.
long neck was extended to its utmost ca
| pacity, its beadlike eyes glistened with in
| telligence and surely enough it was bow
ing its black head solemnly. Once, twice,
thrice it made obeisance - measuredly,
| gravely, reverently.
| =" 'Marvelousp / cried. Tt knows you,
Handy; the creature really knows your
| "Bemis was greatly confused. Take it
away-send it back to Baltimorer he
| yelled. But Handy and / interposed.
Handy understood it all now. 1t was a
trick terrapin, the only one Bemis hadl
He confessed-yes, Bemis owned up at
length. The terrapin he served was canned
terrapin; whenever any question arose as
to the genuineness of the dish Bemis
would send down into the cellar for one of
those terrapin,' and the waiter would bring
back this same lonely, unique terrapin. 1t
| was shrewd game, but twas discovered
at last, for, however timid it was at first,
the terrapin became Injured by degrees to
exhibition, and, having at last got familiar
with Handy's face, it finally made so bold
as to bow to Handy, not fippantly, but
| gravely and reverently as have said.
| "'The terrapin is a sagacious reptile"
| continued Mr.. Florence. Before we fin
ished dinner that evening this intelligent
creature whistled an air from La Grande
Duchesse;' it had heard Billy Lyon sing it
at a terrapin dinner that Bemis gave last
week. You may not believe this. Next
time you eat at the Richelieu ask Bemis to
show you the terrapin, and he will AL
though, unless Handy b there too the