The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-15
BRIGHT BITE.

ALPHoNsE (rapturously)-Ah Gertrude, see
you are alone.
Gertrude-Well yes, was.-Boston Courier.
THE young man who wishes to go to the front
in his vocation and stay there should secure a
position as street car driver.-NorriStolOR Her
aid.
AUNT MARY-Now, Jennie, let me see whether
you know your lesson, Tell me who first dis
covered whalebone.
Jonah, guess Life.
II SEE your literary society has new build.
ing When is it going to be opened?"
just as soon as the running track Is COM
pleted. "-Brooklyn Life.
Bur you have no ancestors, We know" said
his lordship.
"Nc," replied Miss Lakeview; 1--WE have the
advantage of you there."-Puck.
"MR J1mPsoN, if you marry my daughter,
remember Ican't keep YOU two"
"Oh, no. don't expect that, sir. just keep
her, and I'll try to root for myself. Epoch
SNAPPER-They say Grover Cleveland isn't so
fat as he was.
Capper-Yaas; I've noticed by the papers
that he's been running down Hll.-Toledo
Blade.
CHAPPIE-Excuse me, miss for stepping on
your gown
Belle of the Ball-Don't mention it, pray; YOU
do not weigh enough to tear it-NeW York
Herald.
FIRST DETEcrIvE-Bil I've got flrst-class
clew, but l can't follow it up.
Second Detective-Why not?
"'Cause il doesn't jibe with the boss theory,
-Chtcoqo Tribune
HE-Didn't you regard the medium as very
pretty girl?
Shelter face was certainly comeIy enough,
but the shades she called up didn't match her
compexion.-NetO York. Herald.
THE LAW excluding from the newspapers ad-
vertisements of lotteries and reports of all
games Of chance does not include Christmas
which has become more of gift ENTERPRISE
than anything else.-Norristolon Herald.
wIGs-Don't you regard BARRIERS dramati-
cation of Jeanne dare" as a splendid piece of
work!
Futltes-Yes, but after dare knocks it
all holler for straight business.-NeD York Her
aid.
AN EMINENT SURGEON says that with four cuts
and q few stitches he can alter mans face so
his own mother would not know him. That's
nothing. Amy newspaper in this country caa
do that much with only one cut WASHINGTON
Star.
81 HATE these continued stories in the maya.
zines - said Penelope.
so do l, " returned Helen.
soP nAser sen tell how the story is going to
end until the last installment comes out."-
Puck.
CoBBLE-How are you getting on with your
reading at the library l See you go around
there every day as regular as clockwork
Ctoue-l dIu IudhlHB ldlT progress, but L
haven't been introduced to her yet.-Brooklyn
Life
HARRY-Your remarks. Miss Jennie are So
spic d with wit that they quite take my breath
away.
Jenne-Tm glad of that, for your efforts with
cloves have been fiat failures !-NetO York
Herald.
SIS THERE anything of interest in the paper
this morning dear?''
Nothing especial There is an editorial ap-
peal for the tarving Irish; and. ali, yes-I see
that our sol iers have been victorious over the
starving Sioux Puck.
CLosEFIsT Ito Wholesale Manager)-Have you
made up the list of things in our line affected
by the tariff?
Manager Yes, sir; everything, save onei TEN,
is raised enormously.
Closefst-And what item is that?
Manager-Salaries!- Puck.
81 SEE that they are telling fortunes by the
foot instead of the hand" said FINLEY.
1T is an excellent method, said Tumbel 81
read my own fortune in that way once"
How so?"
II was about to ask for Miss Richley's hand
that might know it, when her fathers foot re-
vealed it to me. ''-Chicu0o Times,