River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-06
PITH AND POINT.

There are no eggs in last years
nests" Well, no; the honest farmer is
peddling them around as fresh-laid
fruit. -Philadelphia Times.
No Danger.--Guest lin an agitated
whisper)-"There are thirteen of us al
this tablet" Poor Relation-"No. Only
twelve. / don't count. Chicago Trib-
une.
Human nature is human nature the
world over The harshest critic the
newspaper editor has is the man who
contributes to the waste-paper basket
N. Y. Recorder.
New Definitions-Debtor- who
owes you money which he must pay.
Creditor-One to whom you owe money
which you will not pay if you can help
it-YanlSee Blade.
Easy to Impress.-'I never saw a
more credulous person than Radigast in
my life" Neither did |. Why that
man would even believe a gas-meter. :"
Columbus Press.
That Settled It-Young Hankinson
taking his seat in the chair t
shave that mole, please. It's tender. :"
Barber latter a careful examination of
the rest of the facel-"All right, sir.
Next"
Mrs. Jellup-'I understand your
daughters marriage was brilliant
one" Mrs. Delightful. She
got divorce within two years and ali
mony of twenty thousand dollars a
year Washington Star.
Higher Mathematics at Harvard
S. Ponge-'Can you let me have $40 for
week or so? G.. Enerous-'Ive only
got nine, but YOU can have that if it will
do" S. Pongc-"All right; I'll take
that and then Won will owe me 81"
Tenderfoot-''W What makes you To-
cate your cemetery out here in the des-
ert?" Arizona Ike-"Stranger, che sile
of this new kentry is sech that if we
planted a man anywhere else he would
come up in no time N. Y. Herald.
is it farmin' Dennis O'Mally is
goin' ter thry?" said a laboring man.
at is that same'' why" rejoined
tine her scornfully. "he don't KIN NV
enough about farruming to plant is
feet in the road and raise dust. Wa sh-
ington Post.
-Hawlxins-"Y were on the jury
in the murder trial, weren't you? What
was the verdict" Lambson-''Ac quit-
tai" I'm spite of such damning evil
deneel What excuse had you?' ''In-
sane" "What! All of you?"-Kate
Fields Washington.
-Sumatra monkeys are selling at ST.
600 apiece Very few of the monkeys
human descendants will fetch anything
like that figure. This may be a sad re-
Election to our simian ancestor as he
looks down with grief and dependency
upon his posterity. -Boston Transcript.
Did Not Care to Waste Tt.-These
flowers are Just lovely, but mamma
thinks it is not right for me to accept
such gifts unless-unleSs we were en-
gagged" He Well, | guess it is go.
These flowers cost Sl5, and it seems
pity to have the money thrown away"
Indianapolis journal.
What do you or think about
your fathers consent?' George asked
after all the preliminaries had been ar
ranged. You had better speak to him
this very evening"" she said positively.
$50 soon?" Yes, he has been terribly
put out with me t. day and think the
idea would just ABOUT strike him.
Washington Post.
-Jaggers-"Dr. Jalop is about as
| sltillful physician rs ! know of. He
seems to understand case almost at
sight, you know" Jiggers-''What is
he giving you?" Jaggers-''A cocktail
three times day. 1t is bringing me
round finely; although my recovery is
/ of course necessarily very slow" Jig
/ gers" Naturally. "--Boston Transcript.