The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-07-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

Tact is hypocrisy in its most deligf it
full form.-ITOy Press.
A mars idea of heaven is place
where every one is as good as he is
Atchison Globe.
A man whose soul is narrowed is not
necessarily a cultured Individual
Boston Herald.
Warden (to murderer in electric
chair)-'I press the button. You do
the rest. .n-Bufalo Coarier.
The man who would climb the ladder
of Fame mustn't linger too long on
each round of applause.-Patch.
There are born liars as well as
born poets" but the former comes
easier to man.-N. Y. Recorder.
You can't tell anything about a mans
religion by what he does when ne
knows he is watched. RAMS Horn.
The art collections in some of the
saloons are decidedly suggestive of
bar-bare-ic splendor.- Washington Post.
He-'.Do you belong to the Psychical
SocietyP" She-''No, but sometimes
go out on my brothers machine. y
Puck.
May-'Yes, I spent the winter in
Florida" Blanche-''But, like Senior
de Leon, you were unsuccessful"-M
Y, Herald.
If you wish to know what the stand
ing army of the United States is you
must patronize the horse e-cars. Boston
Bulletin.
ut must be nice to be Bishop and
above discipline" 'tAbove disciplineP
Why Bishops marry, do they notP"-
N r San.
Simkins-'.Do you and your wife get
along well together?" Hen Peck
''She gets along well enough, but l
don't. ."-Epoch.
The fact that gold is one of the in-
gradients in the Koch lymph reduces it
to the level of mined cure after all.
-ElanirG Gazette.
The man who sells goods with a So
ch-yard-stick would steal the jeweled
foundation stones of heaven, if he could
get at them.-RanlS Horn.
Briggs a good Businessman l
should say he was. He was born with
a fortune, you know" "Well?" ''He's
got it yet."-M z. Recorder.
He-.Why are you going to Europe?"
She Frankly, to secure a husband.
And youP" He-"To get away from
my wife."-N. z. Continent.
The man who spends all of his time
sitting around studying himself is vast
ing his days upon lesson that is not
worth knowing.-DaHas Nea0S.
''Shall wash the windows. numP"
Bridget I am surprised" replied the
lady of the house. You know we
move next week."-N. Y. Recorder.
Hoolihan's Wife = ''Phat do they
name by the pauper labor of Yoorope,
PatP" Hoolihan-"They name the
Chinese, av' coorse. ."-Munsey'S Week.
ly.
The Rev. Phillips Brooks election to
Bisopric is fine illustration of the
natural law that brooks ultimately
find their way to the see.-Loa0eI
Courier.
If we all had the gift to see our
selves as others see US very few of us
Marshal in holiday parade.-N Y.
Recorder.
The man who doesn't like the human
race was heard to remark: This
world might be feeting show, but it
has mighty poor company Wash
ington Post.
20, dear" sighed Tompkins, ''this
moving makes me wish / was deadr'
'Humphi" said his wife, ''if you were
dead you'd want to move, guess. y
N. Y. Herald.
II do so love England" said De
Peyster ecstatically. .'What do you so
like about itP" asked Brouthers. Its
so English" returned De Peyster.-
Brooklyn Life.
so she rejected you did shep Your
proposal didn't please her?" "Well, l
can hardly say it didn't please her. 1
thought she'd never stop laughing."-
Boston Herald.
What! You refuse me? 1
am cast aside for another. pwesume?"
Miss Laura-''No, not for another. 1
am in love with real man. Indian
apolis Journal.
81 think" said the disconsolate farce
comedian. that I'll go and get vac
cinated." What for?'' ITO see if 1
can't find something that will take."-
WdSnan9t0n F0St.
"How did you get along with Miss
Green?n ''Why, I said nothing and
she talked; at the end of the conversa-
ton she announced that we were-en-
gagged. ."-Fztegemde Btatter.
mo, SIR" exclaimed the politician
at the ward caucus "there is too much
talk about helping politicians. All we
inf ic to hn oil tn ho1,
selves. IN z. Recorder.
Don't you think" said higgins,
that l often WELD a bitter pen? I
don't know" was the reply. You're
the only man 1 ever saw chewing the
end of IT, Washington Post
Nobbsie, the office-boy-'' There's
man downstairs SAYS he's goin' to kill
yer, and beautiful young lady as
wants to go on der stage" Manager
well, show the man up" ."-Brooklys
Life.
Guns that will shoot five miles have
been invented. We mention this fact
only to emphasize again to spring
poets the advisability of sending in all
their contributions by mail.-Ieras
Sytings.
w Watts-1 DO not think any man can
be happy without modicum of i'm
agination." Potts-''And not so very
happy with it, if it leads him to imagine
things about his liver. Indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. Cumso-'The Schuylkill runs
through Philadelphia doesn't itp'
Cumso-'Nothing runs through Phila-
delphia, my dear. The Schuylkill
meanders sleepily through the town"
IN. Y. Continent
Mature rarely wastes, but some
times she does" said Mehitable at the
circus. Look at the elephant, for in
stance. Two tails nracticallu and yet