Iron County register., 1891-01-15
PITH AND POINT.

I'm close application to business
nothing gets much ahead of mustard
| plaster Rams Horn.
| Some people go on the principle
that the best discipline for boy is to
I find out what he doesn't like, and then
F give him plenty of it.-Ram's Horn.
THAT'S right, my boy. I'm glad
| you have thrashed the miller's son; but
what had he done to you?" HE said
! looked like yous father.
Blattcr.
-Consistent-'"Tha Sallie FL arkins
is the greatest girl for getting bargains
at second hand" 'Isn't she? 1 under
stand slae's going to marry widower. F"
N. Y. Sun.
look here! You just jabbed me in
the eye with your umbrella" ''Too
bad. Here's my fathers card. He's an
eye doctor, and if you'll use my name
he'll give you bottom rates."-Philadel-
| phia Record.
| Lively Game. - Patron Cooking
over restaurant bill of fare)-"Well, I
don't care for beef, mutton, pork, veal
or any of these things to-day. Haven't
You any gamer" Waiter-"Yes, sab;
CLAIMS. s."-Good News.
A Greater Evil.-Rura1 Pastor (soI-
emnly)-"Man's inhumanity to man
makes countless thousands mourn"
Mrs. Scrubbs-"Y-e-s; but it amt any
thing to woman's inhuwomanity to
woman."-N. Y. Weekly.
-Wsman's Love For Woman.-Louise
Her face is her fortune" Isabel
'Well, it is one of those rare cases
where it speaks well for one to have in
herited ones fortune, and not to have
made it ones self."-Harper's Bazaar.
Madam, observed the actor to the
mother of a yelling infant in the audi
ence, ''when your child is quite through
applauding l will continue to merely
feign insanity. At presents the pres
sure is entirely too great t"--American
Grocer.
How He Got On.-Cobwigger-+S
your son is learning the real-estate
business? Is he getting along well?"
far he has learned to
take the real-estate off the office-win-
dows and the boss's shoes.''-Munsey's
Weekly.
-"Have younoticed what avast guam
tity of information old Simpel has ac-
quired during the last several days?"
eyes. 1t is, easily accounted for. His
son returned from
boarding last week for a short
visit. "-Norristown Herald.
The Wrong House.-Servant (an-
swering belD-"My master isn't in,
sir; you may leave the bill if you wish"
CallerGn surprise)-''Bill? have no bill
wish to" Servant in surprise also)
mo bill? Then you must have called
at the wrong house. Paris Gaulous.
lis that colored woman coming to
do your work ?'' asked Washington
woman of a friend who has had a great
deal of trouble with servants. "Well,"
was the reply, ''she is coming here to
live, and if she likes the work I guess,
maybe, she'll do it. .''-Washington Post.
-Constance-'I care not foryour pow
erty, George. Let us wed at once. We
can live on one meal day if necessary"
you cook, love?" Con-
attended a cooking
school for two months" Geerge-''Then
we will wed. / think one meal day
will answer. r."-Prairie Farmer.
"A teacher had been telling the.class
the story of the rich man and Lazarus,
when she asked the question: ''Now.
which would you rather be,
the rich man or Lazarus2" A little boy
spoke out and said: 81 would rather be
the rich man while I live'andl Lazarus
when die"
WAS your husband insured?'' eyes;
five thousand dollars in a mutual assess
nent company" ''Did you get the
81 understand thatI did. John
was the only member in good standing
1T the time of his death, and the assess
nent fell on me. But I've got the
noney."-Harper's Bazaar.
A Diplomatic 'Youth.-The Nurse
proudly presenting alarge-headed, bald
Ind cross-eyed firstAborn) Don't you
hink he's splendid" Mr.. Gottleft (who
Knows the fond mother is listening,
aiken aback, butlequal to the occasion)
really, heard he was fine,
zig boy, but 1 had no idea he was such
monsterp'
"A Stricken Career.-Tramp--"M
lam, year ago / was prosperous con-
luctor on a popular railroad. Travel
vas good and I lived in luxury. Now,
las, am I fallen, and all through the
,ase action of one of the directors"
Kind Lady-"Whatd did he do?" Tramp
-"He insisted upon taking my place."
N " Suo