The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-09-12
MEN WHO BUY GREEN GOODS.
Agricultural America in the Metropolis.
Blowing Out the Gas.

Agricultural America in the Metropolis.
Blowing out the Gas.
OF the thousands of countrymen who come
to New York to buy ''green goods it is
thought a very large percentage perish by
blowing out the gas in the. rooms at the
hotels. Some of them, howevc., are known
to survive the gas ordeal and /, the instruc
tion of these few of the Bowory inns, much
frequented by this class of custom, display
the most unique and absurd signs.
One of the most common mistakes made
by the granger giving himself bath is to
forget to turn off the water when the tub is
full. A good many floods, disastrous to the
property and temper of the host have resulted
from this omission, and to prevent it a sign
is placed in the bathroom reading: ''Psease
turn the water off when the tub is full or the
bath will run over.n In spite of this tribute
to the intelligence of agricultural America,
printed as it often is in six line plea type,
there are good many bathrooms devastated
every year by overflows.
Another common blunder is itself due to
a sign reading: 'Lock your door on retir-
ingn The antidote to this is another sign to
the effect: "But do not hide the key.n Coun-
trymen do not understand the art of locking
their room doors, but in a city hotel they are
so afraid Of thieves that they always attempt
to do it, Sometimes they are too successful.
After locking themselves in they conceal the
key so that it cannot possibly be found by
the burglars outside Next morning the
granger cannot find it himself, and he is
caught in his own trap. Reports have been
made of forgotten grangers thus imprisoned
remaining in their rooms for days, afraid to
move because they thought they were in a
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| they screamed.
The sign, 'The porters will handle guests
baggage is to quiet the fears of the country
man. As soon as he has registered the polite
bell boy seizes his gripsack to convey it to his
room. The wary guest thinks he is in the
clutches of a highwayman, and sometimes
the bell boy does not secure the baggage
until he has had desperate struggle for it,
The sign, ''No extra charge for the elevator, y
is to prevent the guests from walking up
stairs. A similarity of names makes the
famer confuse the elevator with the elevated
railway, on which he knows a fare of five
cents is exacted. A few people think that
the elevator is unsafe anyway, and conse-
quently, when heavenward bound, they use
the staircase, though they have confidence
enough in the Gift" to come down in it.
A well known sign is this: "Guests can
with safety leave their baggage in the rooms,
provided they lock the doors" This has a
good effect. 1t is designed to prevent folks
from dragging their trunks and portman-
teaus down stairs, and piling the articles
around them each time they go to take a
meal. The indivisibility of a green country
man and his valise is proverbial. 1t is often
a nuisance to the boniface. Some guests of
this stripe insist on being present when their
rooms are being arranged and their beds
made, to prevent the chambermaid from
picking and stealing from their Effects
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