Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1891-07-16

Sullivan wants to join the Masons.
While he has that terrible left of his,
what does he want of the Scottish Riteg
Wentman-Why do you call your
horse Independence Day. Weeks
Because in every race enter him he
always comes in glorious fourth ~
Y. Telegram.
81 have been riding ON this line for 10
years. remarked the man in surface
car to fellow-passenger. "Then you
probably got on two or three blocks be-
fore me-" replied the latter.-Harper's
Bazaar
They were at the baseball game and
he was trying to explain it to her, when
the men came in at the close of the inn
ing. "oh, yes she cried, joyfully, II
see, now-those men are out on strike
now, and have quit playing
A falling off.-Miss Lucy-"TIas Aunt
Belinda made much progress in riding,
Weblyn" Riding master-"Well,m miss,
can't say as 'ew she rides very well, as
yet, but she falls hoff deal more grace
fully as wot she did at fust "-Funny
Folks.
Employer-John, what do you mean
by sitting there doing nothing for the
last half houry | can't have you vast,
ing your time in that way. John-Bqg.
pardon, sir, but it isn't my time I'm
wasting. Its some of yourn.-- Boston
| TRANSCRIPT. B
Melancholy Stranger-You are sure
this poison will kill a man? Druggist
Yes, sir, can guarantee it, By the
way, II you are going 70 commit suicide
wish you'd put one Of our circulars In
your pocket. It'll be big lad" for us
when your body is found Epoch.
doctor" said young Goslin to his
medical adviser, II am suffawing fwom
insomnia" do you hang up those
trousers in your sleeping chamber"
asked the physician, nodding his head
az the pair Goslin was wearing. "Yahs. =
Put them in the hall when you retire.
Five dollars, please "-Epoch.
The current cause celebre has been
utilized ingeniously BY tobbaconist at
Leeds, whose name happens 10 be
Wilson. During the last few days sand
witch men have been walking round the
streets with the following query
where do you get your baccar.at
Why; Wilson's. Pal Nal Gazette.
81 suppose you've studied accounts
somes' said the only family acquuint-
ance to the young man who had come
home from school. "Yes, SIR "What
do you consider the best method OF
keeping books 2" Don't let your friend
know you have any was the prompt
response. = Washington Post
Boston Girl-Oh, mother did some.
thing awful at the party tonight
Mother-Why, my dear child, what wat
il? Boston Girl-rhat horrid bouquet
Mr.. Beacon sent me had some cinnamo.
pinks in it, They made me sneeze and
but | can't say it. Mother-Go on
Boston Girl-My glasses fell off and Mr.
Beacon saw my bare face.-BostOnidn
Friend noticing the confused heap o.
goods of every description scattered pro
miscuously around the store)-Hello
What's happened? Been taking an in
ventory, had fire, or are you going L
; move outY Merchant-That show
how little you know about storekoeping
We have merely been waiting on lad
! who dropped in for paper Of pins
/. Mem YorE Weekly.
4 Miss Ethel THE family absent)-Oh
/, Hannah I've found charming littl,
d poem here. Let me read il TO YOU
|
!. To feast mine eyes upon thy smile, L,
!, drink the honey Of thy words
Hannah (the cookl-Law sakes Mis-
Hethel, that'd be rather light feed. H
:, think Hid like roast beef nd plum
4 pudd'n better for my part
A man went into a crowded store I
s. buy some stockings for his wife. %
n want striped ones he said TO the clerl
Is 1--WE have very few stripes, sir tn
4 clerk replied; "they are not so muc
il worn now" Are you sure?N vol
p YES quite sure | Will demonstrate III
fact to you" Then he leaned over til
counter and shouted, "Ratsn' See
he added Yes said the custome
/ give mo plain eolors. y 6ogtoa Heyql
4 May | venture to hope, Miss Beacon
n wealthy" asked Mr.. Wabash, with
IS world Of western wistfulness in h
r voice. "II1peW replied Miss Beacol
ID wealth, us happy attribute Of Il
u human race, and Then | ma
T. hope the youth repeated eagerly. .
AZ was about 10 add when you bifurcatc
n, my uttemnee, Mr.. Wabash" she col
re iinled, in cold, clean-Gut lbscn tone
1t. that the same sanguine Temperance
I'd which induces yon to hope win enab
y you TO sustain the eventual certain di
r appointment =
"a AIother-And so your friend Clara
If soon TO be married. Daughter Cu
Of returned from long abscnce)-"YC
IT, doesn't il seem strange? | hadn't hea
te II word about it until called to see h
q this morning. She showed me h
y, rousseau. It's perfectly lovely-ju
" from Paris; and she has the handsome
Isl ring ! ever saw, aud she showed mo d
as house she is TO live in, and the furnitu
She has selected, and the horses and q
n riages she is TO have. She showed /
iat everything except the man she is goi
Us TO marry, | guess She forgot about hi
-Ne0 York Weekly.