Waterbury evening Democrat., 1891-01-28
PITH AND POINT.

to win the championship.-Ra Horn
Some people go on the principle
that the best discipline for a boy is to
find out what he doesn't like, and then
give him plenty of it.-Ram's Horn.
THAT'S right, my boy. I'm glad
you have thrashed the miller's son; but
what had he done to you?" ''He said
looked like you, Acknowledgements
Batter.
Consistent-''That Sallie II arl1ins
is the greatest girl for getting bargains
ut second hand" Isn't she? 1 under
stand she's going to marry widower.' "
N. Y. Sun.
Look here! You just jabbed me in
the eye with your umbrella" TOO
bad. Here's my fathers card. He's an
eye doctor, and if you'll use my name
he'll give you bottom rates. "-Philadel
phia Record.
Lively Game. - Patron Cooking
over restaurant bill of fare)-"Well, l
don't care for beef, mutton, pork, veal
or any of these things to-day. Haven't
you any game?'' Waiter-"Yes, sab;
CLANS. Good News.
A Greater Evil.-Rural Pastor (sol.
makes countless thousands mourn"
thing to woman's inhuwomanity to
woman."-N. Y. Weekly.
-Woman's Love For Woman.-Louise
Her face is her fortune" Isabel
"Well, it is one of those rare cases
where it speaks well for one to have in
herited ones fortune, and not to have
made it ones self."-Harper's Bazaar.
Madam, observed the actor to the
mother of yelling infant in the audi
ence, ''when your child is quite through
applauding 1 will continue to merely
feign insanity. At presents the pres
sure is entirely too great !'-American
Grocer.
How He Got On.-Cobwigger-''So
your son is learning the real-estate
business? Is he getting along well?"
Bradshaw-''So far he has learned to
take the real-estate off the of1ice-win-
dows and the boss's shoes. "-Munsey's
Weekly.
-"Have you noticed what n vast guam
tity of information old Simpel has ac-
quired during the last several days?"
"Yes. 1t is easily accounted for. His
Soh ICGuIhCo 4IoLh
boarding-school last week for a short
visit. '-Norristown Herald. ~~~
It's that colored woman coming to
do your work ?" asked a Washington
woman of friend who has had n great
deal of trouble with servants. WELL"
was the reply, ''she is coming here to
live, and if she likes the work l guess,
maybe, she'll do t.''-Washington Post.
"A teacher had been telling the class
the story of the rich man and Lazarus,
when she asked the question: Now,
children, which would you rather be,
the rich man or Lazarus?' A little boy
spoke out and said: IL would rather be
the rich man while l live and Lazarus
when die"
WAS your husband insured?" eyes;
five thousand dollars in mutual assess.
ment company" Did you get tho
money!" Il understand that did. John
was the only member in good standing
at the time of his death, and the assess
ment fell on me. But I've got the
money. "-IIarper' Bazaar.
"A Diplomatic Youth.-The Nurse
(proudly presenting n large-headed, bald
and cross-eyed rst-born)-"Don't you
think he's splendid?" Mr.. Gottleft (who
knows the fond mother is listening,
taken aback, but equal to the occasion)
-"Er-ah, really, heard he was fine,
big boy, but had no idea he was such
q monster!'
"A Stricken Career.-Tramp-"
dam, year ago l was prosperous con-
ductor on a popular railroad. Travel
was good and lived in luxury. Now,
alas, am I fallen, and all through the
base action of one of the directors"
Kind Lady-''What didhe do?'' Tramp
He insisted upon taking my place"
N. Y. Sun.