Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-02-19
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS By FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Winds and Wings-Didn't Know
About It-one Jump Too Much
Neither Sick nor Studious, etc. ,etc.

Winds and Wings-Didn't Know
About It-one Jump Too Much
Neither Sick nor Studious, etc. ,etc.
WIND AND WINGS.
"I understand that cyclone carried
your house away" said Chicago man to
Kansas friend.
.'Well, l lost the house." replied the
Kansan, "but don't blame it altogether
on the cyclone"
"Now
"'You see was fool enough to put
wings ON the building. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT 1T.
Henderson is curious chap.
Good opinion of himself, you know, in
spite of his cephalic vaculty. l hap
pened to say, the other day, "there's
nothing perfect in the world"
Brown-And what did Henderson
say?
Fogg-He started up as though some
body had struck him. 81 don't know
about that; said he, 1 don't know about
that"
ONE JUMP TOO MUCH.
McCorkle-I hear that Danvers went
out to Oklahoma and died there.
McCrackle- penchant for athletics
was the death of him. You know what
a great jumper he was at college2
"Yes."
"Well, he jumped a claim in Okla
homa and died of lead poisoning.n
NEITHER SICK NOR sTUDIoUs.
Uncle Eben wrote to the college pro-
fessor: Have not heard from my boy
for some time. Hope he is not sick. If
he has been, l hope to hear that he is
improving"
The professor to Uncle Eben: "Boy
not sick, and not improving. ."-[P Puck.
THE REAL TROUBLE.
"I don't understand what the trouble
with my articles can be-" said the ambi-
tious young man. "None of them is ac-
cepted."
"Let's see; is that pencil with the
rubber on it the style that you are in the
habit of using3"
Certainly"
Well, it's very simple. You have
been writing with the wrong end."--
Washington Post.
THE TRAMPs' HAT DODGE.
'Yep," said Pink Whiskers, the
tramp, 81 wisht had as many dollars as
it is easy to git hats. You see, gang NV
us will lay down in the weeds alongside
Nv the railroad a little way from the
water tank. Jest as passenger train is
about to start off, after the engine is
through takin' water, we Jump up an
holler, 'Howdy, Kernel Then all the
men in the cars stick their heads out NV
the winders, and we grab their hats and
slide. Wv course this is in the South. In
the West we say Jedge, an in the East
'Perfesser.' Anywhere else we sing out
'Howdy, Mr. Smith, Kentucky State
journal.
SOUNDS FROM THE NURSERY.
Glad music used to fill the place,
They played on the piano;
He sang deep profundo bass,
She sang sweet soprano.
The home was redolent with sound
That drove away all sadness
| LhuN oIuIltiCt picuouib dil diOuhu
In effervescent gladness.
Why do they now so quiet keep,
And where is the piano?
And is the basso fast asleep
And likewise the soprano?
The house is still from dawn till darl
And taciturn as they be;
But Joy fills every nook-there bark
hos l,,b
TIMELY WARNING.
Cumso (running in xcitedly)-Haven'
you balance at the 'steenth national2
Fangle-Yes. What's the matter.
Cumso-Draw it out right awayl
Fangle-What's up?
Cumso-I heard the cashier promise
young lady to attend a charity bazaar to
night!-[Judge.
COMFORTS OF TRAVEL.
Professional Guide Ito palace ca
porter)-I have an English lord in charge
and want him to get good impres OF
of the comforts of travel in this country.
Here's five dollars.
Porter-Yes, sab. Do you want me t
glib him extra attention, sah2
Guide-Great Scott, mol / want yol
to keep away from him. New York
Weekly.
LITTLE BRIEF AUTHORITY.
Mr.. N. Peck-Where's your mother
Johnny?
Johnny-Dunno. She's out some
where.
Mr.. N. Peck-And you are sure she is
not at homeI
Johnny-Yas.
Mr.. N. Peck-Comc here to me, you
impudent young rascal. You want to
say "sir" when you talk to me. I'll
show who is boss in this house-for a
little while, anyhow. i indianapolis
Journal.
SECOND SIGHT.
"Theirs was case OF love at first
sigh"
why didn't they marry?"
"They changed their minds at second
sight"
DIDN'T THINK OF IT.
"The medicine men among the In
dians told them that no bullets could
mss thrnuuh thpir rhnSt ekirtc but II