The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-05-20
DIFFERENT KINDS OF SLEEP
All Sorts Described by a HumOrist
Who has Tried Them al.


The siesta is the sort Of sleep after
dinner, and fifteen minutes worth of
1t is one OF the best daily investments
of time a busy man or woman can
make. When you haven't time to
take a siesta it is about time you went
of and died somewhere. Slumber is
the light sleep. varied by startling
facial contortions and sudden spas
modic motions of the limbs, accom-
panied by compulsory silence all over
the house. which is the rest of infants.
Insomnia is sleeping wide awake in a
state of irritable imbecility. 1t is the
common lot of actresses and literary
people who are in need of rest or adj
yertising.
A map" is the passing rest of a
school teacher who is just far enough
gone to appear deceitful, and wide
enough awake to eaten the smart boy
who thinks that all things are what
they GEN.. A ''doze" is the hideous
sleep of a man who goes to sleep With
his eyes wide open while You are talk
ing to him, fixing upon you a CLASSY
stare that curdles your blood and
makes you forget what you were try
ing to say. Then he wakes up and
says. idiotically:-"Yes, yes; just so;
served him quite right; and thenyn
To lust drop off for a second" is
the term applied by the offender to
the act OF going sound asleep in
church with ones head hanging over
the back of a pew, the mouth wide
open and the operator snoring like a
- a.. ..,ftI k1A IoaoNn kf4. Is..,
on the head with a collection basket,
or the choir rises to sing the
last HYMN. s'Noddinc'' in church is
sleeping clear through the entire SER
mon, but without snoring, and with
head bowed on the back Of the pew in
front, as though in prayer. Nobody
In the whole church, by the way,
thinks it remotely resembles the atti-
tude of prayer except the person who
is ''nodding."
To jam yourself up against your
fathers back, kick him black and blue
from withers to hook, crowd him out
OF bed twice or thrice during the
night, and to lie habitually across the
middle of the bed, is the sound sleep"
OF boyhood. To make terrific noises
with the lose ell night long while ly-
ing like a log in one position is the
''sweet Sleep of the laboring man,
who never gives his nose a holiday.
To punctuateone's slumber by sudden
blood curdling yells in the middle of
the night is called sleeping by peo-
pie who quaf a fagon Of the New
England national drink called pie for
a nighicap just before going to sleep.
To lose sound of the voice of the per-
son addressing Won. to have the room
pass in n misty blur before your eyes,
and to sink into utter oblivion for
about ten minutes, is called ''yawn-
ingn by very polite people.
To fall off the chair and your
self by knocking your head against a
corner OF andirons is what SONG peo-
pie call just CLOSING the eyes" ITO
feel a little drowsyn is the term applied
to his condition by the man who sleeps
seven stations past the place where
he wants to get of. If he dosen't
woke until some time next day he ad-
mits that he was sleepy To fold
the hands upon the breast, nestle the
head in the folds of a snowy pillow,
straighten the shapely limbs and ar.
range the figure gracefully, with
lightly closed eyes to pass the night in
a mist of pleasant dreams and en-
traneing visions, with an accompanit
ment of soft, regular breathing, scarce
audible TO people on the next block,
is to sleep like a Christian. as | d.
Burdette an Brooklyn Eagle.