Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1891-02-28
W.T. AND IIUMOR.

HerGd
Saint, are not made in a day bu. sim
ners cw be matte in a moment -4tejii-
son G'oj.
The survival Of the fittest IS TIE doc
triue that always wins IN dog dgh.
RAMS Horn.
The man who has never been dis
satisfied can never realize content
ment. -Eimira Gazette.
Priuus- Does he foot his wife's
bills?" Secundus - 1--we seen him
kick at them. "-Epoch.
These courtships by telegraph may
be properly called sparks from the
wires. San Francisco Alta.
When a woman goes to invest in
sealskins she soon relies that so will
not 20 fur. - Boston Herald.
II brings JOY to the heart OF Anthony
Comstock to read about a ship skirt
ing bare headland. Boston Courier
In order to stand up under misfor-
tune it frequently becomes necessary
to stand up ones frieuds,-Ts1 SIT
tngs.
Irelaud's peasants need not be so
down-hearted Adam aud Eve COM
meuced life with an eviction Boston
Traveller.
Young Jiggers is not wholly bad, y
mo, there are several STYLES of wick
edness he has not heard Of yet -I'Idia''-
apoiis Journat.
He Ql;55 p, m )-"I declare, the
lamp is going OUT She-Yes; the
lamp seems to have some idei Of time"
-Harper's Bazar.
He-'I always pay as | go" She
(yawniug) -''Well, how is it that when
you are paying attention you never
goPn-M Y Herald.
She--"What do you suppose has
taken all the color of her cheekspn
He-"Her husbands nose, | should
think. MaHScys Weakly.
The most dreaded result Of the In
dian excitement Is the revival Of all
Sioux-peraunuated jokes on that sub
iect.-Phaade.phia Times.
First Literary You've
been stealing my ideas Second Lit
erary Character That's all right, |
couldn't sell them. '--Epoch,
Asa rule, the young husband is will
ing TO join his wife's church but it IS
his privilege to tiX the political status
OF the family. D1llas Ne1Cs
DO YOU belong to the church," in
qulrgd the clergyman OF the jaujtor
NO replied the jauitor 1.-The church
belongs to me. ~ !. Sun.
"Does tine cellar leak?n No. It's
had two feet of water in it ever since
I've been in the house Not a drop
has got out. '-Ha1per's Basar.
when man dies who never did
good thing during ali his life it is the
customary thing to talk of the charita-
bic deeds he did in rehabilitation
GIgjc
An Irishman wrote home to his
friends over the briny that in this
blessed land everybody is so honest a
reward has to be offered for thieves
RAMS Horn.
do YOU believe in cures effected by
the LAYING on Of hands?' II certainly
do. There is nothing like spanking
TO make child behave himself. ~
MaRscy's Hee5g
why DO they call the boys in the
galleries the gods, Mr. Tragcdicus?'
TO distinguish them from the devils
who -it IN iHr orchestra chairs aud
write criticisms. n-B1StoH Courier.
Biugo Dear me, I'm tired My
wife col me up at O'Clock this morn
ug. kinglev-'' What did she get
YOU up 80 early FORE Biugo She
wanted to catch the noon train
y. sun.
Turning down the upper corners Of
the vi,iting-card signifies vlSte and
felicitation; the lower corners congo
and coincidence. Both STYLES are in
appropriate Congressional use Wash
i,lgloR Post
II wonder if that man reads my
articles before he rejects them re-
marked Il writer. Il suppose re-
spondcl his uou-admiving friend. you
want the comfort of reyen ge. HUSH
iHgt0a Post
Wooden (reading the athletic coll
umnl just think ot this, Here
fellow that jumped twenty-five feet
ElgeIy- Q. that's nothing ouce
knew fellow that jumped the State.
-b0s'0p courier.
Sauso when was an China"
R1dj-I never knew Won had been
iu China Sanso-'I was once when
! was iu college. I was ilmmed
thruug the earth n football tackle.
A. D Herald
Jaysmja- Can Won obli.o me with
tcn-dpllar biI2' Gargoylc--'rhe
obligation is yours Jaysmjgh (pleas-
ed) latter me. Garroyle-
You misunderstood. You oblj-e me
to refuse 49, itt Shore.
Uicks-"I suppose after those In
dians have finished their dancing
they'll 20 to scalping." Wicks-'Yes,
and just AS it is with the palctace bal
let. You'll find the bald heads Mt the
front Boston Transcript
Customer purchasing a fountain
pcn)- WHAT'S this it is wrapped up
in?' Cjerk-"Thats sir. is tract. Read
IL ard it may counteract the terrible
effect on YOU caused by swearing at
the pen. Boston Trausl,tr.