Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-11-12
THREE CHARACTER COMEDY.
Played on = Boston Street Car by 90
ductOr and Two Passengers

y oOHbOn OOus
duetor and Two Passengers.
There was great commotion the other
evening in front of the depot of the narrow
gauge road, in which West End conduc-
tor, a middle aged woman and an inter
fering old man took part.
An Atlantic avenue horse car had Just
received a full freight and was about to
start, when fussy, well dressed woman
trantically cried out:
Here, conductor, | want you to fix this
lamp; the oil is dripping all over my
dress"
The bell punch man answered the sum-
mons, and after looking at the lamp for a
few minutes said, "Well, can't stop it; If
you wish to escape the drops you must find
another seat.
"But the car is filed" replied the wom-
an, land | haven't time to wait for an
other"
81 don't know what can do; the filing
of these lamps is not part of my work
The only thing | can suggest is for you to
stand on the front platform or wait for an
other car"
This aroused the ire of the woman, and
she screamed at the top of her voice:
"Whatl me stand on the platform with
the driverf Not if | know it, sir. Give
me your number. | shah report you to
the company for your insolence."
Here it is, madam" said the conductor,
taking off his hat and passing it over to
the infuriated female
| WAS ever such insolence known" she
again screamed, as she gripped the handle
of her parasol. "Your days on this car are
numbered, my young man."
Take his number, madam" urged a
wrinkled faced old man who sat in a rear
seat. 81 will see that you have justice.
am well acquainted with the manager OF
the company"
| The conductor reached up and gave the
signal to start
The wrinkled face old man gave the bell
rope savage yank and the car came to a
standstill
"You try that again." said the eonduc-
tor, land will put you off the car"
Now it was the old mans turn to bubble
and boil
"You scoundrel, sir; how dare you talk
to me like that2 Do you know who amp
81 don't care cent who you are. | am
running this car, and if you interfere with
my duties will find way to put stop
to it,
"You are not going to start this cal
while that lady is standing. Do you heal
meP" And the old man thumped his cane
upon the bottom of the car until it seemed
as if he would knock a hole through it.
Don't have any trouble with him." in
terposed the woman, who was trying tc
escape the oil bath. "We will have oul
4l. h.
pany tomorrow morning"
just then big drop of the illuminating
fluid splashed upon her dress This rekin
died the fires of her indignation, and she
called the attention of the passengers tC
witness the discolorations of her much ad
mired gown.
"This is nice business, isn't it?" she
| yelled at the conductor. "How will YOU
feel when you are called upon to pay for
this dress2 Do you know how much it
cost2 Oh, you don't, heyP Well, the bill
was just 5000. "
"You are fooling me-" was the tantaliz-
ing reply of the nickel cleaner.
We'll, if this doesn't beat ANYTHING
ever experienced in the whole course of nv
life" shouted the enraged woman Hs
now calls me a liar after running my dress. .
She made lunge at the conductor with
her,parasol, but did not hit her mark
Il am positive it cost no such figure, as
ladies who wear two hundred dollar dresses
do not ride on horse cars" was the taunt-
ing and cutting retort of the West End
minion.
"Oh, let me get at him. He will never
pull another rope if can just get one good
whack at his back with this parasol ;"
foamed the well dressed woman as she cut
the dimly lighted atmosphere with her
sunshade Stop the carl | will not ride
with him. would rather walk in mud uD
to my ears than be anywhere with such a
two legged hyena.n
The old man with a wrinkled face pulled
at the bell rope, and the ctr came to a
standstill again. Phen he helped the Grim
son faced woman to the street, and they
both went over and stood under a gas lamp
until the next car came along. Boston
Herald