davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
WORDS OF wIsnoM.
To know ones SELF IS to dis:ttls.. one,s

TO know ones self is to dis:rtis. ones
self.
Life is doublc-facsd AMI f III
edged. W
Each life may have a potantiaiA pf I
greatness.
To be misunderstood by those we love
bitterest of all.
Find disinterested friend and you
nave found jewel.
The greatest study of all is that of the
changes of the mind.
Success has sometimes to be paid for,
Utter having been fairly earned,
One is lead to think that there is but
title that is constant nowadays save
nutability.
Every man has en- ak to grind, and
looks upon every other man with an eye
20 induce him to turn the handle.
Trials and fluctuations are very essen
ial to making man great. Yourlrely
1ear of great man who is bachelor.
Before doing wrong it might prove of
benefit to remember that your punish
uent will be a giant compared to your
pleasure.
After man reaches forty he is princi-
Daily interested in getting rid of too
much stomach aud keeping enough hair
On top of his head.
The old can't be young again, and the
young will no. learn by the wisdom and
experience of the old; so trouble will
continue to trouble.
The philosopher takes his fortune
much as he does his health-enjoys 1t
when it is good, endures it when bed,
aud seeks extreme remedies only at the
most urgent need.
Liberty in public aud private life can
not 2xist without complete Justice
Liberty is not the right to do everything
we wish to do, but only the right t0SaS
all which does not interfere with the
rights of others.
Those VINO are gone, you have. Those
who are departed, love you still, and
you love them always. They are not
really gone, those dear hearts and true;
they ure only gone into the next room.
You will presently get up aud follow
them, aud yonder door will close upon
you, and you will be no more sesn.-
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
Ell Dorado.

Where Is Ell Dorado2 This was o
question which acutely exercised the
conquerors of Mexico and Peru. Not
content with the spoiis of these unfor-
tunate countries, the Spaniards argued
that there must be another and richer
country in tine interior, supposed to be
somewhere to the north or west of Peru.
They called it, in prospective, the Golden.
Land. Sir Walter Raleigh tried to find
it in Guinea. 1t has not yet been dis
covered, however, The Spaniards very
likely found their Ell Dorado when they
plundered Mexico and Peru; aud the
English buccaneers whom Sir Wal
ter Raleigh was by no means an insig,
ticept specimen-:ound their Ell Dorado
in plundering the plunderers. Detroit
Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

The New York World puts in plea
for the retention of few slow-going
Atlantic steamers. 1t says that the most
restful thing about n journey abroad is
the voyage. "To be for week or ten
days on the ocean, where no newspaper
can come, no messenger boy can dis
turb serenity, no telegram can call for
answer and no letter can interfere with
the progress OF the daily breakfast, is tho
most restful and delightful of expert
nnoao ~
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
Meals i'm China.

The ordinary meals in the Cele: tial
Empire consist of eight courses, the meat
being pork and goat in the south and
beef and mutton in the north. The
viands are washed down by soup taken
i'll gulps. For about tiyepence a good
"square meal" may be obtained, and, ii
poultry be needed, fowl can be bought
Tor sixpence. "Swell" dinners in a res.
taurant of note may DE obtained for d
little over half q crown. and ofteninclude
the fins of sharks and the bodies of star,
fish. A ceremonial banquet for party of
eight cost four pounds, aud frequently
comprises hard-boiled eggs preserved fol
twenty-five years, after which lapse OF
time they are considered exquisite
Z Oacx.a- IKe6k. w
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
The Spanish Main.

Buccaneering romances TEEN with
references to the Spanish Main, yet how
many people nowadays know what or
where the Spanish Main WASP Main is a
contraction of Mainland, and was ap-
piled to the part of the north coast of
South America washed by the Caribbean
Sea. The name is relic of the time
when that part of the continent belonged
to Spain, and was used to distinguish it
from the West India Islands, which also
then belonged to that country. Detroit
Free PTeSs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

The burning of his books may be said
to confer distinction on an author
when the work of destruction is decrecd
by the censors of On autocratic govern
ment. Consequently, declares Harper's
Weekly, Professor Lester F. Wood of the
United States Geological Survey, is
probably not losing much sleep over the
recent cremation of $4,000 copies of
Russian translation of the the first vol
ume of his Eook, Dynamic Sociology"
by order of the Russian Imperial Council
of Ministers. 1t is first-class adver-
tisement for the writer, but the publish
er loses 5000 rubles by the confscation.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
A Steam Phaeton.

A steam phaeton has been exhibited in
London. A guiding wheel takes the
place of the shafts and the driver sits in
front. The engine, which is almost
smokeless and noiseless, is we'll nigh con-
cealed in the framework of the carriage.
The vehicle is said to be under complete
control and capable of accomplishing
twenty miles an hour. Coke is used as
fuel and sufficient is carried for run Of
twenty miles.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

A British Consul in Japan, who has
watched sailors carefully, says that Jack
Is much better hammered since steamers
have replaced sailing vessels. The
steamers provide better and less monoton-
Gus food, entail less hardship, and have
dulled the adventurous independent, and
sternally unsatisied spirit with which the
yailors used to roam about the world.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
A coNGREssMAN's STORY.

Congressman Mason, of Illinois, told O
story the other day of somewhat re-
markable experience he had not long ago
on onc-horse railway in the West
"Therc was only one passenger car, u
he said. 'and it was full. So was the
conductor. At all events l thought SO
from the way lie addressed me concern.
ing vaisc by my side.
"'Take that thing into the baggage
CARP" he remarked very peremptorilv
~ looked at him somewhat surprised
and without making any response.
"'Do you hear what | say?' he de-
manded.
"'Yes, do answered.
"He went away to collect some tick
cts. When he came back some ten min
utes later he looked angry.
"'I thought told you to take that
valise into the baggage car, he yelled.
"I heard you,' responded, mildly.
"'Then why haven't you done ltl'
"'Because 1 don't propose to-
"'You don't, eh2'
&C No, do not
"'The dickens you say = he roared.
I'D have you know that I'm the boss
OF this train, and don't put up with
impudenoe from no dudes. You snake
that bag out of here or I'll chuck il
through the window in lust two min
utes.'
cat that moment we slowed up,
approaching station, and the con.
ductor went out on the platform. More
passengers got aboard, and when he
came back several persons were standing
up in the aisle. just sat still, wonder
ing to have heon called dude for the
first time in NY life.
'Whatr shouted the ticket puncher
upon his return. You won't pay any
attention to what say, eh2 Well, here
goes
with that he picked up the valise
and threw it out of the car window. We
were going at the rate of about fifteen
miles an hour ut the time. 1 said moth
ing, and quarter of an hour later he
came through again and spoke to me.
Evidently he had been rejecting that
possibly he had exceeded his authority.
I" Il wouldn't have done it, he said,
iioi' hPotossOIiSaiyi ohiy YOU Tlleu Tue,
and discipline's gotter be maintained on
board train
"tOh, that's all right, replied, with
entire composure.
Well, what are you going to dc
about it2' he asked.
"'About what2'
"'Why the bag
utOh nothino eaid
"'But weren't its contents valuablc2'
"I don't know, I'm sure,' re-
sponded.
"'You don't know2'
"'No, said. 1T wasn't my valise.
My dear boy, you never saw man
so totally fabbergasted as that conduc-
tor was in all your born days. 1 got of
at the next station and 1 haven't the
slightest idea how he managed to fix
things UP with the owner of the bag,
who had left it on the seat beside me
while he went into the baggage Cur to
smoke"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

The Presidents salary is paid to HIM
d monthly instruments Of $4166. G7.
The warrant is brought to the White
House by special messenger from the
Treasury Department, and after the
President has Endorsed it, as he would
I'D ordinary draft, his private secretary
deposits it at the Columbia Bank. When
the President is out of town the draft is
mailed to him. The same method Is
pursued in paying the Justices of the
Supreme Court.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
"Nine' I'd think myself lucky 81 i
could get onel"-Neso Yort Pros.
A sLIpING scALE.

Down at the Savannah wharf / no.
ticed a young man in delivery wagon
who kept cutting the horse with the
whip every minute or two. though there
seemed no occasion for it, and / finally
asked him the reason for it.
SCOT to get even, haven't Is7 he
queried in reply.
Even with who3"
"Why, you see, the boss himself
bounces the foreman around; the lore
man bounces the check clerk; the check
clerk bounces me"
"Wellw
"And as there is nobody under me
I've got to bounce this old horse to get
even. Whoa! now Take that and
stand over and hold your head up!"-
Yeto York World.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
How TO Wipe the Face.

Thousands of people, when drying
their faces after washing, wipe them
downward-that Is, from forehead to
chin. This is a mistake. Always use
upward-from the chin to the forehead
and outward-toward the ear
motions. Never wipe any part of the
face downward. - ailadslphia Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
BUDGET0F FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Knocked Him Out - Striking for
Shorter Hours-H Not a Sup
possible Case Fatal
ynEor, Etc, Bic.

de had slain the furiou, lioa in Abyssinian
deserts,
Had faced the royal Bengal in the jungles
Of the east.
Had cut the throat Of polar sin Green
lands icy mountains"
And disturbed a hungry grizzly in the
middle of his feast;
He had fought the pachydermatous rhinoc-
eros In Africa,
Had toyed with boa constructors in the
wilds of Senegal,
Had encountered the tarautula, tho rattle
snake, and cougar,
But he said our blamed mosquitoes could
give pointers to them all.
Veto York Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
A LEVEL. HEADED PARENT.

A Yale College student. being hard
up, wrote to his father in New York:
"Send me hundred dollars by return
mail. He who gives quickly gives
DOUBLE"
The old gentleman replied by the next
mail, inclosing $50, with the rem, rk that
as he had responded promptly, the $50
inclosed were equivalent to the desired
e100.-Terds Sytings.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
sAyEDl

"Well, but Maud 1.-THE absent
minded youth was interrupted by the
horror-stricken girl.
"Maud2 My name is not Maudi"
The situation was desperate, YET for
tune did not desert him.
"But, my darling Louise, what am 1
coming around here for it it is not to
eventually change your name3"
She thought, of course, he had pre-
arranged the joke and he thus was
saved.-Pailadelphiq Times.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
ouIEr WAYS .ARE BEST.
What's theu OF worrying,
Oth3rrying,
And scurryin2. n

What's the.usc OF worrying,
OthIrryiny,
And scurrying. 4t
Everybody hurryins,
And breaking up their rest?
When everyone is teaching us,
Preaching and hessechins US,
To settle down and end the fuss,
For quiet ways are best
Therain that trickles down in showers
A blessing brings to thirsty flowers;
Sweet fragrance from each trimming cup
The gentle z,phyrs gather up.
There's ruin in the tempest's path;
There's ruin in the voics of wrath;
And they alone ara blest
Who early learned to dominate
Themselves. their violence abate,
And prove by their serene estate,
That quiet ways are best
Nothing's gained by worrying,
By hurrying
Aud scurrying,
With fretting and with 1urryinS
The temper's often lost:
And in pursuit OF some small priz,
Wernsh ahead an1 are not wise,
And find the unwonted exercise
A fearful price has cost
lis better far to join the throng,
Thatdo their duty right along;
Reluctant they to raise fuss,
Ormake themselves ridiculous.
Calm and serene in heart and nerve,
Their strength IS always i'll reserve
And nobly stands each test;
And every day and all about
BY scenes within and sc snes without,
We can discern, with Meier doubt
That quiet ways are best.
The Evangelist.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

"A pathological statistician calculates
that in the year 1000 there will be
1,7oo, 100000 people who speak Eng
iish, aud that tho other European Ian
suages viii be spoken by only 100000
300 people.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
n Inventor Edison is Of the opinion that
ultimately the house win be bothlighted
snd heated for sixty cents a year.

In tho United States, annually, about
$500 persons are tried for murder,
with an average of about 100 legal exc
buttons.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
-aw--think so2"
A SUCCESS.

eyes" said Mr.. Henpecl1ed, "woman
is undoubtedly the masterpiece of crea-
ton"
"H'm" said Mrs. H., "then you do
think there is some good in woman9"
eyes; when man was created he was
lonely and needed some one to talk to
him, and woman was created for that
purpose, and she's success"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
JUVENILE pREcAUT1oN.

Anxious Mother-"What in the world
did you do during that terrible thunder
storm2n
Little Dick-"I got under tree"
'Horrors! Don't you know tree is
a most dangerous place in a thunder
storm2"
"Oh, jumped out every time it
Numbered. GOOD Ne,os.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
JoHNNY's REQUEST.

Johnny" said the humorous gentle
man, ''give me your little brother. You
don't want him any longer, and I'll make
a man of him."
"Can you do that, mister7"
tIndeed can"
"Well, let's see you make one out of
me, quick, before ma comes; then I'll
fool her, for she's gone after q stout
switch, and III be back in minute. ~
81. Louis Republic.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
"sUFFIcIENr FOR THE DAY." ETC.

''suFFIcIENT FOR THE DAY." ETC.
Cynical Old Bachelor" What makes
you grin like an IDIOT"
Young Happicuss-"oh, Pm the hap
piest of mortals! Tomorrow 1 get mar
ried."
Cynical-"Yes, I suppose you are the
happiest man in town to-day. "-Teras
Sytings.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

A wonderful story of growth is told
In the following figures showing tho
railway mileage of the United States
by decades for the pest sixty years.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
NOT A surposABLE CASE.

ono. Gubbins, you will never be
brain worker"
"Why motif"
"Ha.en't got the TOOLS"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
FEARFUL.

"Dawkins looks very pale and anxious
o-day."
'He is worried. He is to have very
painful operation performed to- night"
"What's that?"
"He is to have porous plaster re-
moved from his back. "-Ep0ch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
A HINT. TIME, 2 A. ".

she-"Let us renearse scene from
Romeo and Juliet"
He-"With all my heart"
she-"But you must let me act the
part of Romeo.'
He-''All right. Proceed"
She
Look. love. what obvious streaks
70 lace the ssvering clouds in yonder east;
Nights candles are burnt out, and jocund
day
Stands tiptoe on the misty mountaiu-tops.
He departed. -Harper's Bazar.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
STIRRING FOR SHORTER Nouns.

Harry stayer-"Have you heard the
latest, Miss Flimsy1"
Miss Flimsy-"Yes, heard the clock
strike twelve. "-Munseys Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
CHEERING HIM UP.

al nevah get an invitation to any of
the Flashers' PARTIES" said Chappie.
"Well, don't be discouraged, old fell
low" said Cynicus, "youll get one one
these days"
"You-aw-think so2"
eyes. They're going to give a don
key part next week and it is almost GER
tain that they will invite you"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
HIS.

He-"I am resolved to live no longer
II you reject me. You-you-are my
lifel Speak!"
she-"Wcll, I don't care if you take
your life, then"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

NONE IN GERMAN, NOT ONE IN ENGLISH.
Although she was German she spoke
English, almost perfectly, but under
emotion she naturally fell into the use of
her mother tongue.
"Will you give me kiss, (" he pleaded,
gently bending over her.
She raised startled and indignant
face to his.
"Ninc!" she exclaimed in wrathy mega
.Nine" repeated he, stepping back
and gazing at her in mock surprise.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
FATAL vALoR.

ga tough fired at policeman ycster
day with heavy calibre revolver"
''And what did the policeman do;
Did he arrest the fought"
"No. He arrested the bullet. -
Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS,
DRAWS WIN TARTAR s.rcs.

The blapching and frying processes
are the same, whether the brains be
served with sauce, l'Italiennc. to-
mato, brown or tartar. For the latter
they require to be dished on napkin
laid on hot dish and garniahed with
parsley, the sauce being served separately
In boat. To make tartar sauce drop
cold eggyelk In G bowl, with salt, pep
per and nutmeg, and mix with wooden
spoon, adding the while slowly half
pint OF table OIL; when thessuce gets too
thick dilute with vinegar; finish with
fancy minced gherkins. cspers, parsley
and cheryil and a tablespoonful of made
mustard. 1t should be a little thinner
than mayonnaisc. The imported lace
papers are great saving in the laundry
work If used instead of napkins for en-
trees, both hot and cold Oiacinnati
Enquirer.
IRELANDs BOILED CHICKEN AND BACON.
Though potatoes are always associated
with ''ouid Ireland" boiled chicken and
bacon with greens are found in every
household THAT can afford it. While the
~" AittiS ciSC tudu
stewed with fat-and plain potatoes form
the chief articles of diet for the peasant;
chicken with parsley sauce, and always
bacon, is seen alike on the table of the
richest and that of the well-to-do when
ever it can be had.
The fowl is first singed and dressed,
trussed and put in sufficient water to
cover it, in which few scraped carrots,
leek, sprig of parsley and some pepper
corns have been dropped aud then
allowed to boil until tender. A sauce
made from an ounce of butter and half
an ounce of flour is put in thick stew
pan Ito avoid burning) and stirred over
the fire for three minutes, when three
gills of water and pint of salt are
added.
These are allowed to boil ten minutes
and the yolks of two eggs, well beaten,
stirred in to thickon it. A tablespoonful
of chopped parsley is sprinklcd in it,
and all poured over the chicken Us it is
seat to table. A piece of boiled bacon
(not smokey and cabbage always ac-
companies it.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-11-27

WAS ndI mau With munger anQ tnlrSC
by that time, and knew the poor girl
was if anything worse off. We talked
in low tones of the good things we had
eaten and the springs we had drunk from,
and we kept our heads constantly wet
with the salt water to alleviate our THIRST
ms far as it could. At o'clock or soon
after the men awoke aud called to me.
They wanted to kill the girl and drink
her blood and eat her flesh. I reasoned
with them and told two or three deliber-
ate falsehoods, and finally prevailed up.
on them to wait another day. felt they
would do so. aud slept soundly that
night. The sun came up next morning
the same ball Of fire, and any sailor could
have told that the calm would last au-
other day. What happened along to-
wards noon 1 can never distinctly re-
member, for had little reason left. j
remember of hearing the men cursing
and demanding the girl, aud of their
coming aft. There must have been q
fight, but remember none of the details.
1t is like trying to recall dream of years
ago. What eau remember back to was
waking up in the cabin of the German
steamer Bergen very i'll and very weak.
She had picked up our boat the day be-
fore. In itwere two living skeletons
the girl and /. We were alone, and
there were two bloodstained knives on
the bottom of the boat to deepen the
mystery. The girl pulled through as
well as myself, but there was no after
romance. She thanked me over aud over
again with tears in her eyes. but there
was no love. She was lady bred and
born, and I only poor sailor lad. --Ne,o
York World.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-21
KALAKAUA IS DEAD.
Flags of All the San Francisco
Public Buildings Half.Masted.

PuDI1c BulIO1n&S ha1i.MdStcu.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL, Jan. 20.-Kala-
kaua, king OF the Hawaiian islands.
died at the Pala3e hotel in this city at
2:30 O'Clock this afternoon. There had
been no hope of the kings recovery
since Sunday, though his alarming con-
dition was not generally known until
last evening, when the attending pny-
siclans announced that his malady
was Bright's disease of the kid
neys and uraema. Kalakaua's visit
to this country was made on
account of his failing health.
During all last night death was
expected at any moment. The kings
physicians and other attendants, lnclud-
ing Consul General Mckinley, Col. X.
Ii. Baker. the kings chief of staff, Col.
George MacFarlane. his chamberlain,
and several ladies, remained at his bed
side or in the adjoining room. There
was no improvement in the kings con-
dition this morning, and by noon it was
apparent to all that he could live but a
few hours longer. At times it was
almost impossible to distinguish his
breathing at all, though the respiration
was Slight. as it was very rapid.
He continued to sink until 1:3O
this afternoon, when Col. Mac
Farlane bent over the king and
asked MIN if he knew him. No reply
came to the question, with not even the
slightest token of recognition. Then, at
the request of Col. McFarlane. DR.. j.
Sanders Reed, the rector OF Trinity
Episcopal church, read selection from
the Scriptures, and the demonstrations
of grief Oh the part Of the chamberlain
oil ar off nj &c ntfpntInU
At2:30o' Medical Inspector Woods,
who was bending over the king. au-
nOunced that the last spark of life had
fled. The kings remains will be en-
balmed at once. While no definite ar
engagements have been made yet for the
funeral services here and the removal
of the remains to the Islands, it is prob
able that services will be held In Trim
ity Episcopal church Thursday. and
that the remains will leave here
States Sta fia SGI4u Charleston G i before the
close OF the week. The next regular
passenger steamer for Honolulu will
not leave here until Jan. 81, and it is
probable that the first intelligence
of the kings death which will be re-
ceived by the Hawaiian people will be
when the Charleston arrives at Homo
lulu with the kings remains aboard.
The flags on all the pnblic buildings in
this city were placed at half-mast this
afternoon, and the Hawaiian ensign IS
is also at half-mast above the Palace
hotel. Kalakaua became king OF Ha-
wall in February, 1874. HIS successor
will be his sister. Princess Lelinokalani,
who has been acting as queen during
Kalakaua'S absence from the Islands.