The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-04-03

the same blessins. Tn re-
guvinated. I've found the
immortal waters of yooth, so
to speak, and am as timber and frisky as
a two-year-eld steer, and in the futur
them boys which sez to me go up, old
Bawld hed,' will do 30 at the peril of
their hazard, Individually. I'm very
happy. My house is full of joy, and
have to git up nights and larf! Sum-
times AK myself lis it not dream" g.
suthin withinto me sez ''it air." but
when look at them sweet little critters
and hear 'em squawk, know it is a
reality-2 realitys, may say-and feel
gay.
returned from the Summer Campane
with my unparaleld show of wax works
and livin wild Beests of Pray in the
early part of this munth. The peple of
Baldinsville met me cordully and l i'm
mejitly commsnst restin myself with
my fanerly. The other mite while was
down to the tavern tostin my shins agin
the bar room fire & amuzin the krowd
with sum of my adventure, who shood
cum in bare headed and terrible excited
but Bill Stokes, who sez, sez he, "Old
Ward, there's grate doins up to your
house."
Sez I, "William, how so?"
Sez he, Bust my gizzard, but its
CRATE doins," g. then he larfed as if heed
kill hisself.
Sez l, risin and putin on q austeer
look, William, l woodunt be a fool if !
had common cents"
But he kept on larfin till he was black
in the face, when he fell over on to the
bunk where the hostler sleeps, and in a
still small voice sed, "Twinsr ashure
you gents that the grass didn't grow
under my feet ON my way home. g. was
follered by enthusiastic throng Of my
Teller sitterzens, who hurrard for Old
Ward at the top Of their voises. found
the house chock full Of peple. Thare
was Mis- Square Baxter and her three
grown up darters, lawyer Perkinses
wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Par
sums, Deakun Simmuns folks. the Skool-
master, Doctor Jordin, etsetterry, etset-
terry. Mis- Ward was in the west room,
which jines the kitchin. Mis- Square
Baxter was mixin suthin in dipper BE-
fore the htchin fire, g small army of
female wimin were rushin wildly round
the house with bottles of camfire, peaces
Of fannil, &c. Inever seed such hub
bub in my natral born dase. Good not
stay in the west room only q mint, so
strung up was my feelins, so rusht out
and ceased my dubbel barrild gun.
"What upon airth ales the MANI" sez
Taberthy Ripley. "Sakes alive, what
air You doin?" g. she grabd me by the
coat tales. Whats the matter with
your" she continnerd.
"Twins, narm," sez I, ''twinsv'
81 know it," sez she, GOVERN her pret-
ty face with her apun.
"Wall," sez l, that's what's the mat
ter with me!'
"Wall, put down that air gun, YOU
pesky old fool" sed she.
mo, marm," sez l, ''this is a Nash
unal day. The glory of this here day
isn't confined to Baldinsville by a darn
site. On yonder woodshed," sed l,
drawin myself up to my full hite and
speakin in a show actin voice, "will /
fire Nashunal saloot!" saying which |
tared myself from her grasp and rusht to
the top of the shed WHARF | blazed away
until Square Baxter's hired man and nv
son Artemus Juneyer cum and took me
down by name force.
On returnin to the Kitchin l found
quite lot of people seated be4 the fire,
talkin the event over. They made
room for me & sot down. Quite a
episode" sed Doctor Jordin, litin his
pipe with red-hot coal
"Yes," said l, 'the 2 eppisodes, way-
ing abowt IS pounds jintly."
"a perfeck coop de tat" sed the skool-
master.
Sc pluribus unum, in proprietor per-
sony sed |, thinking I'd let him know
understood furrin langwidges as well
as he did, If wasn't skoolmaster.
1T Is indeed a momentious event. "
said young Eben Parsuns, who has been
2quarters to the Academy.
~ never heard twins called NV that
name afore," sed /, "but l spose it's all
rite"
1--WE shall soon have Wards enuff, 4"
sed the editor of the Baldinsville Buqle
ot Liberty, who was lookin over bundle
OF exchange papers in the corner, 'to
ppiy to tho legislator for City Char
erl'
Good for you, old mani" sed 1; "giv
nat air conspickius place in the next
}ugle.'
10 sot there talkin & larfin until "the
swltchin hour Of mite, when grave yards