The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-06-18
A VERY QUIET HOUSE.

Yes. that's what the advertisement
described it to be. "A quiet house;"
oh yes, OF course. very quiet.
Listen. now-iust for a moment
There's an illustration of how quiet
it is. A big hand organ on wheels. di-
rectly IN front.is grinding out: We've
Both Been There Before Another
one, not on wheels, on the left center,
as the stage folks would say, is bleat-
ing forth the cver-agonizing Annie
Rooney, Il fiddle aud harp squeaking
the old war chestnut: Rock Me to
Sleep Mother, " aud German band in
the park, wrestling with die Wacht
am Rhine while a howlinr dog
obligato and knickerbocker boy aud
tin-horn accompaniment complete the
concord OF sweet sounds. You probably
note, in addition, the tinkle-tankle-
tiukle-run OF the upright piano against
the dividing wall III the house next
door, rs we'll as the variegated cater
waulisg OF the berry -veuder and the
cheerful bell symphony of the iceman
in front. Br-lhe-by. it is almost 10,
and ut 10 each day the riluaists in St
Something g-or-other. up the street, have
Il StItNitlI So aNt tlIti 81 bCIt-h IidiiI
that makes one regret his possession of
4 tympanum.
Oh. very quiet indeed!
But you ought to be here at night.
Its 4 eats paradisci
| am firmly convinced that | am in
habiting the center of II feline heaven.
Tried anything for EN-. Haven't j?
There isn't another article in the
house left, under two pounds weight,
excepting the dishes.
The broken remains of everything
else lie ruinofPOmEeii mass in the
back ward.
But the cats didn't mind it; lord, no!
And mosquitoes!
We brag on our mosquitoes in this
house. There's nothing small about
'em.
DR.. Stereoptimicroscopticon submit
ted one OF them 10 thc ma outlying glass,
and photographed it. There it is. Ha!
you stare!
The fabled dragon and demigorgon
could not hold candle to it.
Observe the stinger, will Won? | for
get the scientific name. DIR. Stereo-
something Ng-or-other gave it. but | amt
likely to forget the rouSing sensation
it gave NE when | first had that tor
pedo ram of Il singer stuck into my
cuticle
Oh. very quiet.
Aud the children. God bless 'em!
Of course | am convinced that the
main current of philopro9enitivenes
that runs through American society
has IFS dynamo loc1tnI in this Stroot
But like children; oh, yesi | am
not soured, disappointed in-love,
crusty old bachelor. l dote on children.
But, when it rains children, when it
blows EN-, when you have 'cm twining
around your area windows like honev-
suciles and flattening their neglected
noses against your drawing room glass
in search of novelty; when thev insist
on ringing your doorbell at intervals
of ten seconds while you are trying to
get midday nap to make up for sleep
less nights; when they mistake YOUR
stoop for centennial stand. and keep
off your cherished visitors and the post
man; when they chalk kieroglyphics on
your carved oak doorway, and tie red
flannel clothes about Your nickel-plate
knocker and sling Il stumbling rope for
you 10 fall over rs YOU 90 after dark,
why, then, YOU know. human nature
asserts itself, ana one is forced to pro-
test.
Yes. it is a very quiet house, but it's
the only quiet thing in the neighbor-
hood-the quiet of Il corpse in the ed
dies Of Il maelstrom.-Ray EHdicoU, IN
Drabe'S -Hdgazjne.