St. Paul daily globe., 1891-07-19
inclined to adore her when they were
not jealous of her influence over men.
CONCERNING CONFIDENCEs.

CONCERNING CONFIDENCES.
A Few Reasons Why Women
Should Not Confide in Each
Other.
The soundest advice, the safest coun-
sci on this subject, is undoubtedly en-
bodied in the single significant word
Don't.
But very few will heed the warning.
Human nature. and especially woman
nature, is prone to confide. 1t likes to
prolong the fleeting resemblance of
things and feelings by reeounting them,
add fresh Zest to anticipation by de-
ScribIng it, and rob the gloom:eSt ap
prehensiOnS of calamity of a portion of
their terrorS by framing them in speech.
Therefore, just as long as women re-
jOice and weep, as long as their expert
ence runs the scale of all the feeling
notes of a nature that lives, loves, en-
joys, suffers, blesses, invokes and
adores, just so long will they continue
the dangerous practice of unbuttoning
their souls in joy and sorrow to more or
less sympathetic and trustworthy con-
fidanteS.
Happy is the woman who spreads out
of daryl The habit of introspection
which is thus cultivated-the trick of
alternate examination of ones self with
microscope and magnifying glass,
which it encourages, are open to OBJ
lection: but the little book is after all
a good safety-valve, and its records are
rarely promulgated.
Happier still is the woman who pOurs
out her soul to the cat, the dog, Polly or
her canary, any dear inanimate thing,
or even talks to her own far reflection
in the glass. as did Lyndall in 1.-The
Story of an African Farm" For so she
frees her mind, and none of these conf
danteS will play her false.
But the woman who turns to human
ity for the support and comfort OF
well-bestowed confidence needs to
choose wisely and well, or trouble will
be her portion, and she will find, when
it is too late, that the staff she has clung
to is a broken reed, about which is
coiled a serpent that stings.
By far the most venOmouS of these
reptiles is the person who goes about
seeking to win the confidence which
she afterwards violates.
The practice is criminal and deserves
criminal punishment. The motives
prompting it vary with the individual,
but generally spring from lOw-bred
curiosity, which impels the creature to
peep and spy into the inner lives of
others. To do this nothing is accounted
too treacherous. She will watch her
opportunity with the cunning of SER
pent waiting for its prey.
When sorrow or gladneSS has looSened
the armor of reticence in which her
victim is custOmariiy enveloped, her
chance comes. Then she makes a
sweet showing of tenderness and
sympathy. She will caress with
loving hands the bowed head, the while
cooling soft phrases of commiseration,
murmuring earnest congratulations or
uttering impulsive CALCULATIONS of pity
or Indignation to her dearest girl"
She may even offer some worldly wise
counsel, which is sure to make deep
impression.
AT this stage the woman, who later
on will bitterly regret that she wasn't
turned into pillar of salt or some
equally uncOmmunicative object long
before ever she opened her lips to this
false friend, is wholly won. A gener
Gus impulse of belief in the sincerity
and truth of the other woman, whose
eyes look so kindly into hers, whose
tender accents and judiciOus words fill
beautiful faith, which is at once a
shame and a credit to her, she suffers
the unScrupulOus one to draw her soul
through the cleftS Of confession.
That soul may be guileless and pure as
snow, but the picture of ii which will
appear afterwards, when the inqulsitOr
peddles stories of this interview among
her acquaintances. will be sadly stained
and tarnished by the medium through
which it is presented. If arraigned for
what she has done the woman will very
likely declare that she never sought the
confidence repOSed in her and certainly
gave no promise not to reveal it. She
is not fine enough to see how its be-
stowal praised her. nor to perceive that
she has degraded herself by betray-
ing it.
Women who must speak of them
selves and their affairs to some one
should bear in mind the truth and the
application of the homely old maxim
embodying the wisdom Of many and the
wit of one, viz, "a dog that will fetch
bone will carry one."
The woman who interlardS her con-
versation with tales of other women
will frequently tell stories of you. Be-
ware how you furnish her material, lest
her narratives have the dread quality
of being half truth, which makes
them lever the blacklist of lies" You
may be sure that one whose heart is
deep enough, whose mind is broad
enough, whose brain is sufficiently
steady and whose sense of honor is
bright enough to be safely trusted with
your confidence, will rarely seek 1t. She
feels too keenly the responsibility it
entails. But if such one becomes
your confidante you need not bind her
by any VOW of secrecy. An implied
trust is a sacred obligation to her up
right soul. She would as soon appro-
pirate the contents of your pOcketbOok,
your silver basket or jewel case as con-
vert to her own conversational uses
your private affairs.
But you won't find such a nature
every day. The other type is more fire.
quent, and between the two are several
grades of mischievOus, senseless or aim
less babblers. whose chief support i'll
the maintenance of the ameni ties of
social converse is derived from gossip
about all the people with whom they
are acquainted. Therefore, we repeat
again, concerning condolences the old
advice and warning-''DOn't."