The Portland daily press., 1891-10-23
The Fair OpheIia.

the air Opneties
81 thought thy bride-bed to have decked, sweet
mad
And not have strewed thy grave"
The d anish queen was not an exemplary wife,
but was doubtless sincere in her grief at Opheliaa
death. In every land we see the purest and
sweetest of Eyes daughters gathered to early
graves. A perfectly reliable cure for female COM
plaints is DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, a
medicine beyond all praise, which has saved many
young life threatened by the insidious approach
of disease. For chrome female arrangements,
weak back, lassitude. nervousness and poor ap-
petite, it is without an equal; generous tonic,
safe nervine, purely vegetable, and warranted to
give satisfaction or the price t$l.00) refunded
This guarantee IS always adhered TO. or drug
gsts.
Mitigating Circumstance.
Hostetter McGinnis-It is mean Of you to be
always abusing your friend Jones behind his
back.
Gus de Smith, can't see it in that way. If I
abuse him to his face he will pound the lie out OF
me,-Texas Siftngs.
81 often prescribe Johnsons Anodyne Eminent
for Erysipelas," said a physician to us.
A teacher was getting the new scholars tabu-
lated. "What oes your father do?" she asked
one OF the boys.
He's contractor" was the reply.
"A railway contractors"
mo, a'am; a sausage contractor. He ties
up the ends after another man has filled 'em."--
Chicago InterOcean.
Baby cried.
Mother sighed,
Doctor prescribed: Castorrag
Business Caution.
Grocer-Dld you charge Mr.. Heyson with that
pound of tea?
Clerk-Yes, Pm sure did.
Grocer-Well, charge him over again; you can't
be too sure of thing.-Life.
Mr.. Arthur Brickman Stubs was out with his
four in hand on Friday.
snodgrass-I have all my clothes made by Koff-
taOrs in the world.
Snivey-Nonsense
the Pole, you know-Smith, Gray & Co.'s
Monthly
To cure any scrofulous disease or humor, try
| Ayers Sarsaparilla. 1t cleanses the blood.
Time no Object.
"By getting your ticket over our llne," urged
the travelling passenger agent of the X. Y. and
z railway, you VIII save sixteen hours time on
the trip.
"On the A., B. and C. route" said the agent of
the rival line, "you get 297 miles more riding for
The agricultlrist from Maverick bought his
ticket over the A. B. and G. route.-Chicago
Tribune.
Pain from Indigestion, dyspepsia, and
too heavy eating is relieved at by taking
Of Carter's Little Liver Pills Immediately after
dinner Don't forget this.
well" said teacher to a bright, persistent
scholar IN the grammar class "if you are sure
| matrimony Is an adjective, will you compare it?"
Brother Tom, who has just got married, says
It cant be compared to anything In the world"
"Then, compare 1t by the rule" insisted the
| teacher, quite good naturedly
| Positive MISS" twittered the scholar; 'com-
| parative, Mr.; superatye, Mrs."-Boston TIan-
| script.
BuckiDgbam's Dye is the best preparation made
to color the beard brown or black.
Contractors .Inspector-Is there man named
| Cr0Oley on the work here?
| Gang-man-They is.
InspectOr-D0 you know him?
| TURNED his back on me yit
Jnspector-Where can find him?
Gang-man-Right fernisht yes, sor.-New York
Judge.
Will positively cure sick headache
| and prevent its return. Carter's Little Liver
Pills. This is not talk, but truth. One pill a
dose. See advertisement. Small pill. Small
dose. Small price.
pretty tough State you live In, isn't it? Met a
man today who said he had travelled all through
il and never saw so much as stack Of hay or a
good corn field. Crops failing?"
Kansas (warmly)-He's liar.
The jester-0b, no, he isn't; he's blind man
| Denver Republican.
Ayers sarsaparilla is the quickest cure for all
blood diseases. Its effects are always beneficial