St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-12
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

pOOl laDle was disguised. II would be a
difficult matter to disguise pool table suffi-
GENTLY to deceive the practiced eye of mem
Der Of the st. Paul ress club. When it comes
to locating, tracing and running down pool
table the st. Paul press boys are sleuths>
~
There is absolutely no hope for the Re-
publieans of New York city The trail of
Elliott f. Shepard is over them all.
Prohibition never kept man sober who
wanted whisky and had the money to buy it
not even in Iowa.
Jim Blaine is out of the race-again.
During lull in senatorial business Mr..
PETER might do wandering Jew act for
the entertain ment of his colleagues
Capt Jack Crawford. the poet scout. as
pires TO be put in charge of the Indian exhibit
at the worlds fair. If Capt Crawford will
back up his claims by an offer 10 exhibit q
large and varied assortment of dead Indians,
he will receive warm support in his candi
dacy.
Car Reeds famous flannel shirt, conspicu-
Gus in the Fifty first congress. is said to be at
present in a sadly shrunken condition. Yet
ii cannot be more so than its erstwhile dis
tinguished wearer.
B. Harrison's little chirp for the force bill,
incorporated In his message, falls harmless
upon the 140 Democratic majority in the
Fifty-second congress.
Fresno Cal, citizens are felicitating them
selves over a sweet potato weighing forty
three and three-Quarters pounds. Fresno po-
tatoes are large, it's true. but it seems there
are very few to the bushel.
An honest man is the noblest work of God,
An honest editor is the nobleSt work we'll
say the no5lest creature born of the pressing
necessities incident to the twilight of the
nineteenth century. Such holiday thoughts
are inspired by the recent debut of E. P. Bar
mum as editorial and financial manipulator
of the Sank Center Avalanche In this in
stance the newspaper appears to have sought
the man, and not the man the newspaper.
Some men are born to journalism. som
achieve journalism, and some have full
fledged plant, with job office attachm ent
several galleys of pied" type. font of Or
namental border, ten pounds of roller COM
position, and long list of delinquent sub
serlbers thrust upon them. To this latter
class evidently belongs Brother Barnum.
But as all exponent of dry pnilos optical
humor Mr.. Barnum bids fair TO achieve dis
tinctioD in the state of Minnesota. In his
palmiest days Bill Nye never shed more
genial literary sunshine than has Editor Bar
nun, in My Bow" Among other good and
appropriate things he says:
The Avalanche is left on my hands to run
or dispose OF. as may deem best. l
am left with an Elephant to me) to manage. l
knew nothing about the business whatever.
To my brother editors Il
think that is the term used by the crafD |
would most respectfully make my bow and
simply Say-don make fun of me-fOr feel
the magnitude aud profundity of my posi-
zion. 1t is great thing to be an editor and
see your thoughts and words i'll print. l
know 1t must be, for l have seen numbers of
boys and young men i'll the business that
seemed TO be pulled Up with their impor-
lance. l trust the 'puffingup' will not attack
me. | am pulled enough al
ready"
Now we are prepared to maintain that
Brother Barnum could not have penned
more appropriate. catchy Or popular saluta-
tory had he sat up three nights burning the
midnight electricity, or hired some red-eyed
literary hack to do the work for him. No
brag. No sky-scraping hifalutin about "Our
mission;" Our hand is on the public pulse;"
1--WE have come to stay and I'VE shall fill
long felt want" Mr.. Barnum virtually says,
aud he shows nOindication of taking it back:
unfortunately, am here. and now what do
you propose to do about it?" But, in order
to show that he knows what he is going to do
in the premises he sagacously adds:
ITO the patrons of the paper and job office,
| would say the advertising columns will al
ways be open to ads, and the job Office in
n q no an Vari inf
think there is nothing more to add, but If
there is, If some kind friend will bring it IN
next week. will add it with pleasure-pro-
Viding il suits me-"
Brother Barnum is all right He knows
more about newspapers than lie is willing to
acknowledge, and in each line strikes the
key note of country journalism as practiced
west of the Alleghanies. Sank Center should
see to it that the Avalanche receives the sup
port it justly deserves.
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1t does seem good to have the old moth
eaten traditions of the past back with us
once more. Now here is Senator Paddock
with his pure food bilI' bobbing merrily up
again.
Closely following the rumor that Emperor
William is insane comes the report that ne
is writing a play Is this latter in the nature
ola confirmation of the former report?
The first thing a Japanese d oes in the
morning is TO take down the entire front of
his building, leaving the whole interior open
to view. Evidently the Flowery Kingdom
chaps live in perennial spring opening.
~
A sta tement is padding around in the
press to the effect that mo animal has more
than five toes, diglts or claws to each foot or
limb and it cites the horse as one-toed,
OK two-tOed, rhinoceros three-toed, hippo
potamus fOur-tOed, and elephant and hun
dreds of other animals fve-toed. Logically,
this statement is incorrect. Syllogistically
it is demonstrated a fallacy, and proof offered
that the horse has seven toes rs follows:
Major premise: No animal has six toes
Minor premise: The horse has one more
toe tha n no animal
Conclusion: Six and one eGualing seven,
the horse has, consequently, seven toes.
A Brooklyn paper asserts that ''Chi cago
has decided TO put aside her shrinking mod
esty." If Chicago is not going to use it any
more this season, portion of it might be
charitably donated to one of the leading
characters in the ''Clemenceau Case
The blowing up of the New York dynamite
fiend left the poor, hard working detectives
without the sign of a clue. Criminals pre-
pairing 20 do the riot act in company with
dangerous explosives should see that their
CLUES are carefully addressed and mailed to
the chief of police.
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1t is principle of mechanics that a chain
is no stronger than its weakest part. The
same thing may be said of B. Harrison's
presidential message.
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Shade of Columbus 90 new arrival from
America) What's going on in your country?
New Arrival-They are preparing to eele-
brate your achievements in great style at
Chicago.
Shade of Columbus-Heaven forgive me.
Did discover Chicago:
nECEMRER RTMpJES