The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-06-12


Frank Harmed a. u Drum n,er.
s-,.a "a s,...,.,
49, 1870 s'nr ,is~csi "a ,urned
injury m"' w. 49, ".' -
Drummer since ne ws"' :" .n ns., s,-a n,
n'ppr. ''"'- XXI. .n.,.,hs.,ord IN
~ 'n'''suo" 49, w -, .,,,. s,,,,,..
Iom'ner,'" t'hss'''-' ~" ." i.,'
g"od iurk =. 'o',owS y ~, 49,. ~. -
snv cnefN rf1"n ~" soo" -
spare; 49,,
RusH CENTER, hAn'' Nay issi'
"From whence contest thou pardl'
"Fromth the Lodge oithe holy St. Johns.
Michigan
"whai seek W. here 20 do?'
ITO take few orders and collect =
bin Of Bison.v
"Then You are drummer"
IL am 80 taken and accepted by ell the
boys"
''How may know you to be drum \
mer ?v
"Bv my cheek and my fifty pound
sample case. Try me
"HOw will you be tried Z"
by the square"
"Why by the square!"
"Because the square IL q magistrate
and sn emblem Of stupidity
"Where were you hrst prepared 70 De
adrummer ?"
I'm my mind"
"Where next?'
I'm . printing ONCE, adjoining regu-
lar post OF drummers.'
allow were you prepared!'
by being Invested Of my last cent, my
cheek being rubbed with brick, hun
ion plaster over each eve and heavy
sample case In each hand. Ia this fx
was conducted to the door OF the post. !"
"How did you know u was door.
being blind r.
BY first stepping In coal Southland
afterwards humping my head against the
door knob"
"How gained you admission Z"
by oenent o. my cnesN' -,
II had not, but Steve Sears had 1t for
me-
"How we're you received ~
ION the sharp toe Of boot applied to
my natural trousers.
What DID this teach you! N
mot TO fool around too much"
"What happened next!"
II was set down ON cake Of Ice and
asked IL put my trust In mercantile re-
ports"
"Your snswer?'
mot II know myself. don't.
show was you next handled n
IL was put sirsddIe on goat made ont
Of a. 4 rail and trotsed nine times
around the room by four worthy broth
ers, and then trotted In front o. the Lett
Bower for further Instruction.
"How did he instruct yon!"
ITO approach customer IN three up
right regular steps, with my business
card extended at right angles, my arm
forming perfect square"
"How was You then disposed OF!
Il was again sested on cake Of ice in
front Of dry goons box. ana made &c
take the folio wing horrible and binding
oath:
l. b. +. Harmed, do hereon and herein |
most everIastingly and disbolically |
swear by the great Bobtail Flush. that
will never reveal and always steal oil the |
trade secrets can for the nse and oene-
IL OF this Most August Order. And Ii
further swear BY the Bald Headed jack /
or Clubs, that will never give carve.
make. hold, take or cut prices below the
regular rates. And ! further swear, by |
the Pipera that played before Moses to
never have any commercial dealings With
any man, or his wife, sister, graDdmoth-
ar. old maid. amt or uncle, unless they.
he, she or IL Is sound on the goose
Binding myself under no less penalty
than to have my grip sack Slit from top
10 bottom, my dirty shirts aud socks
taken out. and my reputation removed
and buried in the river At Pearl street
bridge, where the Salvation ARMY Gibbs
ana flows every two aud one-haif hours. |
So help me Bob lngcrsoil ana keep me /
II backb
II was then asked what ! most
needed
sWhat was your reply Z"
uM~~.v