The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-01-21
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

"Brings down the house"-A Western
cyclone.
The man who is waiting for some
thing to turn up" might turn up his
sleeves and 90 to work.-PueE.
If the lungs contain Is, 900, 600 cells,
as a contemporary Informs us, why not
use them for penitentiary , West
Shore.
81 understand, Pat, that you have
big family dependent upon youl" ''Yis,
sor, tin childers, siyen pigs and the old
oman"
"Terrapin," says writer is an ac-
quired taste" So it is. taste of ter
rapin is among the most difficult things
to acquire known INashiagdo'>J20st.
The slang that from her lips fell pat,
Oft made her English hazy;
She once was heard to murnur, that
Chrysanthemum's a daisy"
Washington Post.
Crawford-"Time is money, you
know" Merntt-'And yet l would
sooner have girl who has forty millions
than one who has forty years. = Chicago
Light.
doesn't that man look sheepishl"
asked Mrs. Keedick. eyes, but per-
haps he has had the wool pulled over his
eyes" replied Keedick. Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
Watts-"Potts shaves here sometimes,
doesn't he9" Barber-"Yes; Mr. Potts
is one of my regular clients" Potts
"Clents! Don't you mean patients"-
Indianapolis Journal.
-"Fenderson is a very enter
tanning fellow; don't you think so?"
Fogg-"Yes, but the deuce of it is you
can't begin to laugh until after he has
gone. "-Boston Transcript.
Some wag recently started the story
that Mrs. Stanley is about to v
book entitled "How | Found Stq.hey,"
and she is receiving letters from people
who think it is true. .--Ne,0 York Tribune.
His Fiancee-"Arc you sure you
would love me Just 9s tenderly if our
conditions were reversed-if you were
rich and were poor" He-"Reverse
our conditions and try me. "-B,'ooblyn
Life.
"What is the name of the other vaga-
bond who was with youl" asked the
magistrate. "Jimmy the Calico. ''How
did he ever get a name like that2" "Be-
cause he won't wash. "--PdilaaelphiG
Times.
"Look herel You Just jabbei me in
the eve with your UMBRELLA t'Too bad
Here's my fathers card. He's an eye
doctor, and if you'll use my name he'll
give you bottom rates. ."-Philadolphia
Record.
Johnny-"Mr Haukinson, amt you
shaped just like other nen2' Mr.. Han
kinson--'I suppose so, johnny; why2'
"Papa says you amt exactly square, and
Irene says you seem to be always round"
-Chicago Tribune.
Dealer-'I am sure, madame,
could look the city through and not fin
handsomer carriage than this. Mrs.
D'Aynoo-"Oh, it's handsome enough,
but it looks too comfortable to be styl-
ish. '-Ne,O York Weekly.
81 am going to be indiscreet, Miss
Chicago" "Oh, you can't be with me,
Mr.. Boston," "No2 Well, l was just
going to say how elegantly that big
diamond ring does harmonic with your
hands "-Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Bingo-''Clara has been shopping
all day. Oh, here is the delivery wagon
with some of the things she has or
dered." Bingo-"But where is Clara"
Mrs. Bingo-"She is probably waiting
for the change "-Ne,O York Sun
The only thing that mars the daudy's
peace of mind is the fact that he isn't
imported, like everything he uses.
Meanwhile, from his lofty place in the
menagerie, the imported monkey looks
down on him, aud maryels. s.-Puct,
"Do you find enough to keep YOU
busy these daysl" "You bet. I'm put
ting in a bigger days work these days
than l ever did before" "Why, L
thought you'd given up Your job.
$50 | did. Pm looking for another"
-BgBtlo Espyess.
Jack-'Why are you looking % sad -
Toni saw Maud throwing sly
glances at Harry tonight. jack
"Cheer up. It was doubtless for YOU
she meant them, though Harry got thom.
Women can never throw straight YOU
know. '--HHprs Bosar.
-
Soufh Carnlfna's Rodh.,