Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-07-02
PITH AND POINT.


Preferred Creditors-The man who
was tired of having everyone his debtor.
Puck.
-Waiter-''Very fine chicken that.
SIR" Guest-"Yes. 1 wonder how it
escaped being killed for such long
time. "-Harper's Bazaar.
ALAS! 1t is an age of doubt"
sighed the philosopher "What?' asked
his companion 1.-THE age of woman"
he answered.-HarvardL ampoon.
-She-"Why was it that the Creator
made woman after MANI" He-"Pos-
sibly because he wanted to finish the
Job before the critic arrived."-N. Y.
Herald.
-Prematurely, in Some Cases.-Vis-
itor-"I suppose your college has turned
out great many graduates?" Profes-
sor-"Yes, and good many who were
not graduates" - Saturday Evening
Herald.
Its Often So
At first sight we loved madly;
AT second came a pail:
At third we wondered sadly
How we loved at ALL
-Harper's Bazaar.
-FOpp-An, fenOeTSOH. lou
coming to the club tonight" Fender
son-"I was coming, but have changed
my mind" Fogg - Gracious, man!
that is all the more reason for your
coming. Boston Transcript.
First Student How it blows! And
listen, hear how the telegraph wires
hum up above there!' Second Student
II hear! Let me tell you, that's the
answer from my pater familias. I tele-
graphed him to send me some money"
-Mudge-''I know l am right. I'll
bet the drinks that l am" Timmins-
81 would take you up, but l do not
drink" Mudge-''Oh, don't let that
stop you. I'll agree to drink both drinks
myself, win or lose. "-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
No Flies.-A performance in pleas
at the police court The judge to poor
wretch about to receive sentence-"You
have nothing to add to your confess
sion?' Nothing, judge, nothing. I'd
rather take back something. Paris
Figaro.
Mrs Brown-''I declared Just hear
that canary sing! It's always so; every
time anybody begins to play on the
piano that bird begins to chatter"
Mrs. White-"Yes: one would almost
think the bird to be human. Boston
Transcript.
-Cleverton-"Have you any idea how
much that dress cost that Miss Swans
down had on last night?" Dashaway-
eyes, one hundred and twenty-five dol
lars" Cleverton-.How did you come
to know?" Dashaway (sorrowfully)-
"Her father took pains to tell me the
other day."-Cloak Review.
Out of Sight.-Maria (pointing to a
very tall and expensive piano lamp)-
Josiah, amt that jest too lovely?"
Josiah-"Yes, tits; what be that?"
Maria-'That? Why that be pianny
lamp" Josiah-'A pianny lamp? Say,
Maria don't you think that's most too
high to put on top pianny?" !
Laura lin January)-"Just see the
lovely gift from my dear papa de-
licious spider in silver, with garnet
eyes, The same Tin ne)-"Yes, I'm
sick. Such shock as had at the pic
mic yesterday! A great, horrid beast of
a spider fell right into my plate! No
wonder / tainted dead away."-Pitts-
burg Bulletin.
n dSScC--
ly know it is, but 1 must follow the
fads. Now, everyone is wearing birth
day rings and" Sillyboy-"And are
you wearing them, too?' Miss Passee
Eyes, I have bought one for each
year." Sillyboy-''You could almost
open a jewelry store, couldn't YOU
jewelers. Circular.
-Scribbler-"Oh, here's my article!
Tell me what you think of it." Frank
lin-"Well, to tell the truth, it seems to
be rank plagiarism" Scribbler-"Not
at all. found it in an old paper, and
it embraced my ideas exactly. So
put my name to it, and sent it to the
The fact that another fell
low wrote it out in the first place
amounts to nothing. boston Tran
script.
Awkward Enough. - Brobson-
''You look all broken up, old man.
What's the matter?' Craik-'.I called
on Miss Pruyn last night, and no sooner
had 1 entered the parlor than her
mother appeared and demanded to
know my intentions" Brobson-''That
must have been rather EMBARRASSING"
Craik-"Yes. but that was not the
worst. just as the old lady finished
speaking Miss Pruyn shouted down the
stairs. Mamma, mamma, he isn't the
oner IN Y. Sun.