Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-18
LED.

The leading article at horse fair is 8 halter.-Sparks.
 Sunday is the summer landlard's day of wrest.-Boston Transcript.
 It is the counterfeit bill that gets the passing glance. Westfeld Standard.
 Indignant Guest-This fish smells.
 Poetic Waiter-So does the rose.-Texss Siftings.
 ''I am feeling my ground, said the man who slipped up in his own dooryard.- Washington Post.
 "Papa, what is lucks" ''It Is a quality, my son, that we dispise the more, the less we have sf it.-Judge.
 There are two ways to forge ahead, and young men are frequently getting them mixed-Galveston News.
 Gus De Smith-You have very large ears.
 Gilhooly-Yes, my ears are large. All I lack now to be perfect ass is your brain. Texas Siftings.
 Victim-Whatl Two dollars for draw ing that tooths Why, the dentist across the street only charges dollar.
 Dentist-Yes, but take twice as much time about it as he does.-Munsey's Week 1y.
 Mrs. Yerger-Johnny, what became of the berries Mrs. Peterby gave you for me yes terday?
 Johnny-You see they were too sour for you, ma, so I put sugar on them and ate them myself. f.-Texas Siftings.
 70 Willie, there goes papa to unite the dog!"
 "Don't worry, my dear, I used to be a lion tamer,"
 ''But papa's boots" ''Pah! A mere nothingl I've shod mules. ."-New York Truth. The Doctor Ca bachelor. Well, my boy, think of being married againa The Lawyer (a widowereNot a bit of it. I know when I've had enough. would regard proposal as simply motion for a | new trial.-Pittsburg Bulletin. Victim from bed )-"When explain, sir, ! that my wife and three daughters have | gone to fashionable hotel to spend the l summer"
 | Burglar-"Enough; I'm pretty hard up myself, but here's dollar for you, l Exits weeping. )-New York Herald. | She Hated to Trouble Him.-Miss Breck. inridge (of Virginia, to her best young man John, I'm afraid you'll have to drive back home. Hive left my ball dress there Her best young man (who is driving her te the county balI)-The-the mischief yor have! My dear little girl! Why didn' you find it out before we'd come five milei through this Virginia muds Miss Breckin ridge-Oh, I did, John! I knew it two hours ago, but I hated so much to trouble you.-Puck.
 A witty Detroit girl had two suitors, botl named Charles. One had scanty hair, wa timid and did not dare to speak the wort he wanted to. The other was quite tn, reverse, and at the first opportunity mad his wishes known. One day one of he acquaintances asked her, "What is tn difference between Charles the Bald ant Charles the Bold," by which she used to speak of them to her girl friends. "Onl, avowal," she answered quick as fash Detroit Free Press.
 It seems as if text books for childrel were now made so simple as to leave hard ly any chance for misunderstanding, bu the little folk still continue to commit t memory the words without much though of their meaning. 'How do we kno, that the earth is roundf" asked a teache of one of her boys. The pupil aros promptly, and, with perfectly stolid e1 pression, answered glibly, eve learn tha the earth is round from the followin facts," and immediately sat down again evidently feeling that he had given a flu ] and most satisfactory reply.-Christian IT telligencer.