Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1891-06-12
ROBBED HIM OF ALL.
vhy "Dan" Packed Up ana Loft East
Tennessee.

ROBBED HIM OF ALL
whv "Dan" Packed Up ana Left East
Tennessee.
A deputy sheriff rode up to cabin in
East Tennessee and, calling an Old fell
low, who stood with gun in his hand,
said:
"Dan, you'll have to stop your fool
ishness."
"What sorter foolishness?"
"Why, every morning just as soon as
you get out of bed you take up that old
gun and begin to shoot at everything
you see."
"Wall, amt that rights"
Right! Why. of course, it amt.
Yesterday you shot Anderson's colt and
this morning you broke the hind leg of
old Mrs Tomlin's cow"
"Now, look here" said Dan. "The
folks in this here neighborhood have
set their hearts on maxim saint of
somebody and have settled on me.
Some time ago committee from the
church come and lowed that I was
drinlin' too much whisky to suit the
brethren. Wall, lowed I'd quit, as I
didn't want to cause no trouble, and I
did quit although it was q powerful hard
pull. About two weeks afterward here
comes along lot of women folks.
wondered what they could be after, but
I want long in tindin' out. They said
that the sisters had come to the con-
clusion that was chawin' altogether
too much tobacco; that was settin'
bad example for the boys, and lowed,
they did, that for the good of the COM
munity and the risin' generation in par
ticular, I must quit. Wall, as never
did care to hang out against the inter-
ests of the community, I did quit. It
then went along all right for while
and 1 had begun to look on myself Us
pretty Accommodate sort Of Teller,
when, 10 and behold, another flock Of
women called on me one day."
What in the world can you want
now?' i asked.
"One of the women sorter simpered
little and fixed up her mouth in shape
that was good enough to bite, and then
said: Mr.. Dan, you have been mighty
Accommodate in the past and we do
hope that you won't disapp'int us this
time,'
IRE away, SAID l.
Well, she said, simlerin' agin, we
have noticed that you fish on Sun
day.
That's a fact I answered, but
Sunday is about the only time have to
fish, and, to tell you the truth, am
powerful in need of water vidults.
"She simpered agin-and blamed if I
didn't come mighty nigh grabbin' her
and kissin' her right thar, vidults or no
vidults- simpered agin, and lowed that
it was powerful bad to fish on Sunday.
She said that was ruinin' all the bows
in the community and limited that If I
didn't quit the work of the circuit rider
would be oil undone. Wall, you see I
didn't want to be credited with no such
wickedness as that, so when the little
critter had simpered agin, lust jumped
up, popped my heels together about
three times before I hit the ground, and
told her that I'd be blamed if it shouldn't
be as she said.
CHOW, Mr.. Sheriff, it won't take much
of man to see how it left mo situated.
was mighty fond of Ticker, but the
Ticker was gone; was awful found of
tobacker, but the tobacker was gone;
powerful hankerin' after water vidults,
but as could only fish on Sunday,!and
had promised not to do that, water
vidults gone. There was only one en-
joyment left"
"And what enjoyment was that?"
"Snatchin' up my gun as soon as I got
out of bed at mornin', and shootin' at
everything I could see movin' about,
and do hope that the folks hain't taken
it into their heads to rob me of my last
and most innocent amusement. am q
poor man, Mr.. Sheriff, and have no
great deal of fun, and think the good
people Of this neighborhood should take
some little pity on me-"
Il sympathize with you, Dan, but
you'll have to stop that shooting"
Wall, he said, scratching his ragged
whiskers, "that leaves me out entirely,
Mother, oh, mother calling his wife,.
pack up the children and the other
buds. Well have to leave this COM
munity, and go where folks don't tread
q POI man into the face of the yeth.-
| A7t17lSG1U Traveller.