Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-05-01
PITH AND POINT.

L IL AN ~ l. OlN L.
A popular rcsort-To judicious Gb-
bing.
Absence of mind-The disobedicnt
child.
Loose characters often get tight.
Washington Star
The giIded youth is simply fashion
plated. Chicago Me,cs.
Horticulturists always use 1owery Ian
guagc. -I'iusJug Dispatch.
Some girls are like violin; it takes n
beau to make them talk.-St. JosepA
Ne,cs.
Many people would take advice if
they could just do it before it is offered
to them.
1t is dangerous to let horse rear; he
is then on his last egs.--Bnghamtoa
Republican.
The man who helps himself will be
well taken care Off he is caught. -EI-
mira Gazette.
When tclcgraphcrs strike they don't
always hold the key to the situation.-
Baltimore -Amsrican.
81 think I'll take two or three DAYS
of" remarked the month of February.
Detroit Free Press.
The man who was convicted OF steal
ing furs said he was only in search OF the
missing lynx.-Binghamton Republican.
Fctherbrane wonders if the silent let
tiers of the alphabet weren't taken from
the dead languages. detroit Free Press.
Nobody has faith enough in human in
tegrity to believe that the man who
guesscs his conundrum has never heard it
before.-Elmira Gazette.
Victim-"Doctor, I'm troubled with
cold feet. What do you suppose causes
thema' Doctor-"Cold weather. One
dollar, plcsse !-BuFa!o Express.
He wrote n versa Oh spring one morn,
Received cheek before the night;
The jury, being duly sworn,
Declared that he had died of fright.
Puck.
Philosophy: Question" When
man says that he knows nothing, is it
not an absurdity2" Answer-"That de-
ponds on the man. "-Huroard Lam
Poon.
Sometimes a woman is so flattered be-
cause guest praises the excellent quality
of her cake that she forgets to notice
whether or not he eats it.-S9mcryWe
Journal.
Minister (consolingly)-"Wecp not,
my poor woman. Think how much bet
ter off your husband is" Widow Vixen
do you mean that for slur?"-Chi-
cayo Necs.
elbow old is your boy7" Giles old
enough now not to be old enough to
know that he don't know some things
that he'll know when he's little older"
Tile Epoch.
"No," said Bjcnks, ''it doesn't take
me long to make up my mind, but it
often takes me long time to make up
my wifc's mind to agree with mine. -
SomerriUe Journal.
Tommic-"Papa. why do they call
very rich men millionairesi" Papa
"That refers to the number of poor rcla-
tives who rise up to contest their Wills"
-Ne'o York Herald.
''Have you read my last novel, my
dear friendl" "Certainly." "Well, and
how did you like it2" III laid the book
down with the greatest satisfaction. -
Dry Goods Chronicle.
S.n "Wasn't it dreadful to listen to the
whistling of the bullets in battle" "Oh,
not so very. You sec the bullets never
whistle any of the popular airs of tho
day. "--Me'o York. San.
She docking out of the Window
"Isn't it funny2 Those trees seem to be
going by us instead of us going by
them" Hc-"Yes. This train is so
confoundedly slow" y Chicago Meos.
"One thing 1 ought to tell you before
you make up your mind to marry my
daughter; she sits the whole day at the
piano" 80, don't mind that Mt all, if
she doesn't piay."- Fliegende Blaetter.
Ls2y-"I'vc got nothing for you."
Tramp-"You haven't eh2 Well, you'll
be sorry for this. If you don't give me
something TO cat, I'll recommend you to
all my friends between here and the Gulf
of Mexico. 7eras Siftings.
Miss Winthrop-"Poor Jack has now
been full-hedged architect for six
months, and he hasn't had single com
mission. He designs beautiful houses. -
Mr.. Townes--"AIis Winthrop-Ros
cant persuade you to let your brother
design nice country house for-for us2"
Chicago Ners
Softhart-'Is Miss Triplight in2"
Servant-"No, but she told me to
tell you if you called that it was
very kind of you" Softhart-"What
did she meant" Servant-"I suppose
she meant that it was very kind of you
to call when she was out "-The Epoh.
The few men' who don't make fools of
themselves generally let some one else
do it.-Elmira GazSte.