The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-07
STORY BY MARK TWAIN.
Told at the Recent Banquet Of the
National Druggists Asso-
citation.
Four Live Skeletons Pledged as
Compensation for One krtic-
ulated One.
Three Had GOnc and tire Druggist Timidiy
Asked for m advance ON the
Fourth.

eDMyk Twain was present Mt the banquet
of the National Wholesale Druggists 1850
citation al it's recent meeting in Washing
ton, says the Pharmaceutical Era, and in
return for his dinner related the following
story:
about a thousand years ago, approx
mately. ! was ap~prenticed as II printers
devil to learn the trade, in common with
thee other boys Of about my own nge.
There came to the village a long-legged
individual OF about 10 from ono OF the in
terror counties; fish-eyed, nc expression and
without the suggestion OF a smile-couldn't
have smiled for n salary.
1--WE took him for a fool and thought we
would try to scare him to death. We won't
TO the village druggist and borrowed a skel-
eton. The skeleton didn't belong to the
druggist, but he had imported it for the
village doctor, because tine doctor, thought
he would send away for it, having some
delicacy about using-l Laughter.
1.-THE price OF the skeleton at that time
was $50. / don't know how high they 90
now, but probably higher, on account OF
the tariff. Laughter. We borrowed the
skeleton about nine O'Clock at night, and
we got this man-Nicodemus Dodge WAS
his name-we got him down w out Of
the way, and then we put the skeleton in
his bed. He lived in a lite one-storied log
cabin in the middle OF a vacant lot.
I'VE left him to get home by himself.
We enjoyed the result in the light of anti
cipation, but by and by we began to drop
into silence. The possible consequences
were preying upon us. suppose that it
frightens him into madness, overturns his
reason and sends him screechinR through
the streets. We shall spend sleepless
nights the rest of our days.
Everybody was afraid. by and by it was
forced to the lips Of one of US that we had
better 90 mt once and see what had hap
pened. Loaded down with crime We ap-
proached that hut aud peeped through the
window. That long legged critter was sit
bread in his hand. and between the bites
he played q tune IN a jewsharp.
"There he sat perfectly happy, and all
around him on the bed were toys and jim.
cracks and striped candy. The darned
cnss, had gone and ms sold that sks LEI foE
ton was gone. We went III tears to the
druggist and explained the matter.
We couldn't have raised that $50 in 200
1--WE we're gsttiug board and clothing for
sec aul' Year, and both Of them for the
third year. But the druggist forgave US on
the spot. but he said he would like us to
let him have our skeletons when we were
done with them.
"There couldn't be anything fairer than
that. We spouted our skeletons and went
away comfortable. But from that time the
druggists prosperity ceased. That was one
of the most unfortunate speculations he
ever went into. After some years one of
the boys went and got drowned. That was
one skeleton gone, and / tell you the drug
gist felt pretty badly about it.
IA few years after another Of the boys
went up in a balloon. He was to get IS an
hour for it. When he gets back they will
be owing him $1,000 600. The druggists
property WAS decreasing right along. After
q few more years the third boy tried an ex-
pertinent to see If a dynamite charge would
90. It went all right.
"They found some of him, perhaps a vest
pocketful. Still it was enough to b that
The druggist was getting along in
years, and he commenced to correspond
with me. / have been the best correspond
ent he has. He is the sweetest natured
man ] ever saw-always mild and polite and
never wants to hurry me at all.
II get a letter from hin every now and
then and he never refers to my form 40 a
skeleton; says: well, how is it getting
along--is it in good repair?' got a night
rate message from him recently-said he
was getting old and the property WAS de-
preciating in value. and if could let him
have a part of it now he would give time on
"Ihink Of the graceful way in which he
does everything-the generosity OF it all.
You cannot find n finer character than
that. It is the gracious characteristic OF all
druggists, 80 out of my heart ] wish you all
prosperity and every happiness"