The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-14
BRIGHT BITS.

TT MUST be nics to be a bishop and above
above discipline' Why, bishops marry, do
they not '-Net1 York Sun.
JyDeE-And he took you by the throat and
choked you, did he?
Pat-Yis sor; be squazed me throat till Oh
to'ht he'd mex either out of me Adams apple.
-BuDdio ETpress.
ARCH IMP-These nineteenth century iunoya-
tons threaten TO ruin our businessl
Ordinary Devil-What is going wrong?
Arch mp-What novelties have we to show a
man who comes to us from crematory?-Lffe
CUMso-What an Extensively vain man Brown
Banks-Dear me. never thought him vain.
Cumso-But he is, though. Just notice how
excessively and persistently modest he is.-Cin-
ctpndd Gazette.
PERDITA-Come. Penelope, don't NOPE So
Youwere right in refusing him. He is worth
less scamp.
Penelope-Yes, Perdita. but just think. What
will the poor fellow do for a living now that he
cannot marry me?-Munsey's Weekly.
In RESPECT to putting baby to sleep, I forgot
TO say that after you have carefully laid him
down and crawled away from the cradle on your
hands and knees SO as not to awaken him, you
are paralyzed by loud and distinct va! va! !
yan' and you have 10 do it all over again-De-
Il oit Free Press.
''HULLo Galley" said Bronson, entering the
restaurant, how are your"
Pretty we'll"
What are you doing now"
well, wLenI came in here two hours ago
was not in business; but I've changed some
since; I'm waiter just now.-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
LAFFAN B. FATr--I tell you that jokes are
evolved, like everything else.
9. Nicoll Sneer-Well, they don't obey the
same laws as other evolved things.
Laffan B. Fatt-Indeedl
Q. Nicoll Sneer-They don't seem to be af-
fected by the law of the survival of the fit
test. Puck.
apparently by accident)-Hello, doci You're
looking first-rate. If you had a constant tick
ling in your throat-hem AS I've got you
wouldn't be looking SO spry. I'll bet a dollar
What do you generally do-heml hem doc
when you have tickling in your throat?
Physician tpassing on)-I generally cough
-ChicaQO Tribune.
New YoRKER-You stopped at the Badfeed
house when you were in Washington, didn't
you, Uncle Abner?
Uncle Abner-Yes, 1 believe that was the
place.
New Yorker-How did you like the couisine,
Uncle Abner-Didnt see him. They said he
was sick abed, so l did all my business with the
head clerk.-Rochester Post Express.
The NEW GIRL stood behind the counter in a
south End bake shop. young man walked
brtskly up aud laid down Q cents with the
words, Two kisses " Doubtless he would have
Oocu odIlSHou VIII Two OF Un6 WnlCe sugar and
egg affairs in the show case, but the new clerk,
who was brought up in Thompsonvle, climbed
upon stool and purSed her red lips so tempt
ingly that the customer got an extraordinary
bargain-four kisses for 2 cents.-Sprinofeid
Union.
JURORS in this county are to be fed henceforth
at a cost Of rs cents per meal instead of so
cents per meal, as has been the custom hereto
fore. The change is occasioned chiefly by the
fact that a dozen of jurymen were poisoned re.
Gently by eating canned Holsters for dianer, the
extra rs cents being supposed to represent the
difference between fresh lobster and canned
lobster The increased sum is none too much
Jurors ought to have wholesome food, for in.
digestion means injustice. Canned Holsters
might hang an innocent man.-Boston Post,