, 1891-02-18

Il s'pose I've never old you about that
winter / spent in West - street. II may
teach you something and be a warning IL
you ever feel like turning into a high class
emotional actor, 50 / don't mind letting
you into the secret. I've been knocking
round in boarding houses so many years /
thought knew every freak that the world
could show. I'd seen poker sharps and
bunco steerers, to say nothing Of kittenish
old maids, grass widows and every other
serpent that was shut out Of paradise with
Adam and Eve
"well. / was told that Mrs. Dolittle, ir
West street, kept a nice, quiet house,
trreproachable references given and re-
quired and all the rest of it went there
with a Bible In my pocket, my certificate
OF birth and baptism in my hand, and sew
enteen business testimonials, in a Glad
stone bag. Mira. D.. seemed pleased, and I
engaged a room I was a stranger, and
she took me in.
1.-THE first night l spent there l knew no
one in particular, so when / went down to
dinner / tried to size up the company col
lectively. There seemed to be an unusual
lot of young people. Four young women,
two dark and two fair; three blonde young
men, one very white, one medium, hair
short on top of his head, one red checked,
one looking very pious-
THE PEoPLE
Just opposite me sat n middle aged
young woman with a snub nose, who talked
all the time I'd seen that sort before
Very funny at other folks expense. Dis
appointed In life and devoted &c lies. Oh,
yesi / knew what she was like, SO / just
said, 'Quicksand,' and passed by on the
other side. But 1 thought the rest Of them
would bear watching. The dinner was the
regulation meal, and when 1t was over /
went up to the fourth floor hall bedroom.
81 sat down and began to read the paper.
Pretty soon a low, ~groaning noise was
heard, evidently a woman voice, getting
louder and louder, till it resembled a roar
ing Niagara, oh-o-o-h-A-A-H-Ha. ha, ha,
ha, ha, dying away in n demoniac laugh.
1t was startling, but / knew that queer
things happen in boarding houses. so l sat
still In a minute a new voice began, oh,
young Lochinvari Oh. young Lochinvarl
oh, young LochinvarI' There's a maniac in
this house, l thought. | got up, examined
the lock and sat down again treasured.
Then came the sound of blows-awful
blows-not one or two. but innumerable,
and after each one a strange shaking of the
house, as II a body had been flung violently
to the floor. There's murder here, surel'
said l, n rushed into the hall. Another
voice, masculine this time, trombone quail
ity: Il dare do all that may become a man
Who dares do more is nonel
at say, Duke, which one you going
home with to-nightl' Which oneI All
three oh, you'll Oh, you are a masherl
How'll you manage itf' Take Carrie
homo after first act from the Star; rush up
to Daly's and get Minnie end of second act;
go on to K s. BIS and bring Bessie out at
t2p oh, you old sinnerl oh, you wicked
old wretchl' accompanied with shrieks OF
laughter in mingled soprano. tenor and
bass voices
WHAT IT MEANT.
"Once more those terrific blows, but this
time there was something queer about
them. 1t sounded as IL some one were
jumping of a step ladder. A dismayed
feminine voice exclaimed: "Oh, Jenny, I've
kicked my second slipper into the street
and the first one over the folding bedI
WhAt'n 1 dor
"T don't know; don't bother me. Can't
you see Pm trying to get my linesi I'll
speak to him like q saucy lackey-m-m
-m.' Ladies', any one at home t~o-nightt'
'Oh, yes; come in. Hamlet; come. in, Ham,
old boyp Deep contralto-'Hamlet, thou
hast thy father much offended Tenor
Mother. you have my father much Of
Tended
"'Oh, this is awfulP said l to myself.
Why, the house is filled with raving,
crazy lunaticsp Just then the girl came
up the stairs with pitchers Of cewater.
my good GIRL I gasped, in Heavens
name, tell me what's the matterl What Is
iti Who's crazy In this housel What's
the matter with the menf'
1.-THE girl grinned- Her mann was Maria,
n a very pretty girl she was. 'CrazyP
she said, not a bit of it. Why. they're all
going on the stage
"tAll1 Whot'
-'Why, those four young ladies and that
fair young man you saw at dinner
(which onet The one with thin hairS'
"'Hef Oh, dear moi He's a sweet young
man. He has lots of friends on the stage
ladies. you know, and he goes every night
and takes 'sm home after they come Of.
Says he has to work pretty hardl Can't
take more than four home in a night Says
he has to work pretty hard to do thatI
Never gets round to each one more han
once a week. oh, we all love himI He
says he never means to go on the stage; he
knows it all by heart
EXPLANATIONS.
"'Weil, who are the other young ment'
THAT nice fair one is a minister's son.
He wanted to play Hamlet, but they told
him he'd do better in a variety show. One
OF those fair young ladies is what they call
an ingenue. | don't know what that is,
but she wears garden hats and has her hair
down her back most of the time, and the
other one. she's what they call q song and
dance artist. She can kick six feet higher
than her own head. One of those dark
young ladies is trying to get into light
opera.
"'She had to move out of three boarding
houses. She works hard. She sings every
night till IL o'clock and begins every morn
ing at Z. That other dark young lady
they call her Mrs. Siddons, cause her
teacher say she's got tears in her voice. It
sounds like a sore throat to me. Why
added Maria, every one in the house is 60
Ing on the stage 'cept that red checked
young man-he's a Sunday school teacher,
and his mother won't have it-and that
young woman that sat opposite to YOU
"'And why in the name of Shakespeare
isn't she going onR"
"'NVell, you see, they say she was born
Ter 4 critic, and u manager wouldn't dare
to take her in his company because she'd
be sure to be shot inside of twenty-four
hours. Why, I'm studying for the stage
myself | go and take a lesson whenever
it's my Thursday out-but I've got a broth
er-he's a mean old thing-said IL he ever
caught me on any stage, unless 1t was a
Fifth avenue rapid transit, he'd come on
and chase me of with a club. But Phi get
there yeti Pm just bound to act like Cora
Potter and Mrs. Langtry, and it's a great
deal easier TO do than to wash dishes and
wait on the door.
Thank you, Maria sid l, 4 see 1t all
now and / went back a sadder and a wiser
man.n-New York World