Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1891-03-13
~ CHE way.

sTHE Colossus Of Rhodes marked !
great stride In art.
MOEE1 Is the root Of I'll evil. but the
need VI money II the evil Itself.
TnE world never sits down twice on Z
man who has any point about him.
ELEVEN battle ships are now being
built for the German government.
GEN. SHERMAH's papers are to be nut
In order and published In biographical
form.
II 10 easy TO gain . great reputation
for truthfulness by always speaking i'll
Of yourself.
YOU may doubt . mans Christianity
who Is always complaining of his dinner
on wash days.
This Is no laughing matter, /" said the
anthor.e when the editor handed him
back his jokes.
THE death Of a b~ookkeeper should oc-
casion no surprise, as 1t Is natural for
him to go to his accounts.
EVERY heart knoweth It's " bitter
ness. Many a nan who looks happy is
wearing . shirt his wife made.
In New York city last zeal tho saw.
ings banks handled over SISs, 900, 600
aud had over 770, $50 open accounts.
TOMMY-"Paw, what Is famep'" Mr..
Flgg-"Fame, my son. Is something a
man makes money out OF after he is
lead"
IT Is easy enough to find friends who
will advance theories or opinions, but
when II comes to advancing money, that
kind is scarce.
SnARpsoN-"Ph.a.l, what makes your
nose SO red" Phlatz-"It glows with
nride because It never pokcs itself into
other peoples business"
A ROCHESTER, teacher having occasion
to use a portrait OF George Washington
at school exercises, was unable to find IL
on sale anywhere in the city.
DEAR WIFE," said Sam Jones in q
dispatch to his wife the other day, II
licked the mayor of Palestine, Tex, this
morning; will preach in Taylor tonight"
Observation-Disclosures. have you ever
spoken to b milkman about the kind
OF milk he has been leaving us lately?''
Bridget (recently importedl-'No, mem.
never shpakc to strangers until l am
we'll acquainted wild EN-"
MIR. BILLus-"Another pair Of shoes
already for that boy? He's the most
destructive and wasteful younster on
earth" Mrs. Billus-''Johnny waste
full? That Is unjust, Mr.. Billus. A box
OF backing lasts him q year and q half"
SPECTATOR Tin COURTROOM - 1.-THE
prisoner looks as If be had a tremendous
weight OF guilt on his mind" Other
spectator-''Yes, and there1l be q trc-
mendons wait OF guilt before anything is
done with him. He's rich"
LANDLoRD-"When you moved in you
promised to pay me IN the 1st Of every
month. You have been here three
months and l have not seen a cent. Now,
don't propose to put up with such ir-
regularity" Tenant-"Well, l don't see
any i~rregularity about that"
SERGEANT-s'You are charged with
conduct unbecoming an officer" New
Polieeman~'In what respect?" Ser
geant-''You have been in the habit of
taking nuts and fruit from the street
stands kept by old men and helpless wo.
men," New Policeman-.sBut / nav for
them always" Sergeant-.'Yes, that's
the substance of the complaint"
PRINCE HArzFELDT, the interesting
sprig OF German nobility who married
the daughter OF G. p. Huntington, was
at an early period In his Partisan career
desperately In love with Emile Loisset,
a charming circus-ridcr, who returned
his affection. A time was set for the
marriage, but before the happy day ar
rived poor Emile was crushed to death
by the fall Of her horse In the ring.
Hatzfeidt was Frustrated with grief, but
as an act OF vicarious sacrifice he bought
the horse, led 1t to her grave. and shot
him.