St. Landry democrat., 1891-11-28
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
The Virtue Of Necessity-Hard to
Suit-Truth in aNutshell-AG Great
Man, Etc., Etc.

~
Y Man, Etc., Etc.
S THE VIRTUE OF NECESSITY
> Nellie-Boo-hoo Papa's got Ma
: another pin, and | think he might g,
II me one, too.
Mamma-You know you lose all you
= pins, Nellie.
i Nellie-I don't care. Boo-hoo.
> haven't had any to lose since | lost til
; last one Judge.
Jewelcr-I have a good second-han,
watch here | can sell YOU.
Customer-But [ don't want second
hand watch
, Jeweler-But there are no watchc
made now without second hands.
TRUTH IN A NUTSHELL.
"The man who has gold gets along il
this world, y said Harduppe, gIoomilv
Yes" said Happygolucky, land SC
does the man who has brass"
Ethel consider Jack a great man.
Maud fear you are Judging him by
his signs, dear.
BECAUSE.
Giglamp-Why do actors always like
to refer to themselves as artists?
Paresis-So that they will draw we'll
when playing, fancy.
WILLING TO TRY THE AGED.
| Clarklets>-It is true that | am poor:
but my father is rich
Miss Bleeker-You mi ght mention to
him that our little affair is off.
GREAT PROGRESS.
GLOW do you get along with your
French, Litehedd:"
Every well; I've got so far can think
in French now"
"Gracious! You must find it superior
to English.'
ECONOMY ON ALL OCCASIONS.
GIVE great notion to jump into the
river" said Mr. n. Peck at the end Of
little domestic discussion, as he picked up
his hat and started out
"1ou come back here" said his wife.
If you intend any such tricks as that
just march upstairs and put on your old
clothes before you start = London Tit
Bits.
WICKED MAN.
With all his might he'd cheat an egg"
And ''whip' the fresh white cream,
Or even jam the faky crust,
Though kind to all he'd seem.
He'd make the peas ''shell out"
Because they were so green,
Or even thrash" the wheat
And string the butterbean.
i New York Herald.
READY DEBATER.
Fond Cncle-Jack, you extravagant
rascal, I'll cut you off without a shil
ling.
Jack the incorrigible)-All the more
reason for letting me have the five hun
dred now.
PITY THE SATISFIED WOMAN
The Singular Grizzly only ambition
is to write book
The Practical Girl-Well, why don't
you write one, then
The Singular Girl-Why, if I did, I
shouldn't have any ambition left,
would |?
DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
DIR. Fowler, having had occasion to
treat the family of Sam Johnsing for ma (
aria, demonstrated with Sam for having {
he pig pen so near his residence.
''What's de reason | ought ter put de I
zig pen furder away from the house," |
lskcd Sam. i
Because it is unhealthy,' replied the c
loctor. c
"Reckon you is mistaken" replied I
Sam; "dat pen has been dar for two t
'eahs, and dar amt been no sickness Wit '
mong de hogs" -[Texas Siftings. T
Young Bohrer (difidently>--Ycs, Miss n
1ucy, they do say an clever at base b
all. I
Lucy lyawning)-I should so (vawn) S
early love to see you make a (yawnN o
ONE rum Pittsburg Bulletin n
HE HAD BEEN KICKED. f,
That girl you are after is very hand h
ome, ChoIly." P
"Yaas." W
They say she takes after her father. L
it sop
"I-aw-don't think so. She has a
cry small foot. = New York Press.
"Where's that flannel shirt of mine?" III
"It's gone, Of course. 1t was very u
imp last night and you left it near the &C
zen window, '-LTruth. g. g.
TOO SHALLOW. b
Grace-Charley had an idea floating 10 10
his head the other day! u!
Belle-NO! Pl
Grace-Yes; the doctor told him it 80
rs only water on the brain, though &c so
uck. 81
THE EDITOR DOES. br
Poet (impressively)-I always know ia
len write something that is very good W;
Critic thoughtfully)-But do YOU on
ow when you write something that is tel
ry bad?-[ Judge. is
OCCASIONAL ONLY. :,
Tenant-Does this chimney always r,
loke like that?
Landlord-Oh, no; only when there's
e in tn 6 grate.-[N New York Sun.