The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-16
PLAIN DRALRR.
EVERYTHING IN TIE LINE OF
JOB WORK,
Bill Heads, Cards, Pos
ters, Circulars.
:s.IsfactIua ID Heatness, pronpiaess ill
0ric. Guaranteed.
YTGivs N tsicl before ssdsf1ne sl7evhsss.
MISCELLANEOUS.

Railway Superintendent Ito woman
applicantl-"What are your qualifica-
tions for the position Of station-agent?"
Woman applicant - have had twenty
years experience with trains and
switches
Sober Spring Gowns FIRST dress.
maker-"Have you had MANY successes
this season. Second drcssmaker
lproudly)-"O dear. yes. One of my
dresses caused runaway accident. -
Boston Post.
II amt going to send any more
money out to the hcathen, said Willie.
mornin'. an as far as I could see he
didn't wear any pants, and 50 hasn't
any pockets to carry the money in. -
Epoch.
I'm writing to Mrs. Montague.
George pretty lady you used to
take to see your pigs. Haven't you
some nice message to send herr" Yes,
mummie: give her my love. and say
never look at little black pig now
without thinking Of her.
The revenue of the brooklyn Bridge
q a
lars a year. derived almost exclusively
from fares. The other items of revenue,
last year. were So, 900 from rentals and
$4,000 from telegraph and telephone
companies. The lightest month in the
year for business on the bridge is July.
Thinking that the conductor could
not change 500 bill, note of that
denomination was handed to him To
deduct his fare, by 4 passenger on the
Old Colony Road. The conductor telc-
graphed to Boston, for which city the
passenger was bound, and on arriving
there he was led to the ticket Office,
where he received nincty-ninc silver
dollars.
"A Newburyport landlady," tho
Boston Herald tells us, has a black
| board protected by a glass door placed
ut one end Of her dining-room. When
any boarder fails to pay for two sue
ccssive weeks his name is written in
large letters on the board. and is not
erased until a satisfactory settlement is
made"
| A strange pair of bird-hunters be
long to Mr.. Williams. of Mud Turtle
Lake, Ga. They are pointer dog and
a large brown cat. They ramble off on
hunting expeditions. and the dog points
the birds and attracts their attention,
while the cat, with stategic movement
in the rear, never fails to secure a bird
They never banquet until they have
secured four birds. when each of them
dimes on two birds.
| A whirlwind which occurred at Shell
Bluff, Ga. recently was SO severe and Of
such dry, parehing nature that it
destroyed between four and five acres
of cottol,. After the wind passed the
cotton weed, which before was growing
vigorously. would crumble to powder
in the hand when touched. The inn
mense cloud of sand and dust raised
frightened good many persons.
A New Haven postman accidentally
caught the chain to which his post Office
key was attached i'm the door of street
letter box recently, aud snapped the
spring lock on the box before he noticed
the fact. He was Obliged to stand by
the box some time. it being about 1850
o'clock in the evening. before any one
passed who could send a messenger to
the post office for duplicate key and
release him.
Tightening played queer freaks at
Lcary. Ca, few days ago. 1t struck
several trees during the rain in the
afternoon, one of which was in tho
swamp just south of the town. which
was fred by the bolt, but did not break
out until after supper. Being just be
| ho ste hxa
portion of the town, it was taken for a
store on fire, and the department was
called ont. only to return in disgust a,
not finding any fire to fight.
An East Side saloonlseepcr has q
pug dog that is drunk nearly every day
says the Buffalo Courier. The dog frs,
acquired an appetite for strong drink
by tapping the contents of pan which
sits under the faucet of beer kcg ir
the saloon. At first he would have
been quite rs well pleased with water
but now he must have his booze
with regularly and precision, and il
seems to go right to the spot where il
will do the most good. His dogshil
gets very rocky under the inspiration
of the foaming beverage, but he seldom
falls down, as man does who has a jaf
on, because he has twice as many legs
More than one brave fellow will &C
down to his death this summer in river
pond, and sea. In the van went thir
! teen year old New York kid" recently
Patsy Connolly was his name. liz
. played hockey" from school, took hi
soul-stirring harmonica, went down t,
the dock and made the other kids
dance, But Patsy's tune-maker go
{ firted into the river, and prompt,
Patsy jumped in after it. Bot there
!, was mud there. and then the swell of
, passing boat banged him against an
other boat. Then Patsy, coming up tn
!, last time. shouted to the kids" on tn
dock: Don't let em take me body hom
if drown. It'll make mudder feel bad
Take me to de undertaker's shop.
Then Patsy went down, and that wa