The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1891-02-21

held that they had shown ignorance
in their profession.-Century.
Brother Whalebone Howker Passes
Over the Darkest River.
At a special meeting of the Lime
Kiln Club, called on Friday evening,
the sad announcement was made
that Brother Whalebone Howker
has passed from earth away. 1t
seems that he stopped an ice-wagon
in the middle of the street to ask
the driver in what particular year
Columbus discovered America, and
while the driver was consulting his
memorandum book a grocer's wag
on came along and collided with
Brother Howker. The shock of that
alone might not have killed him,
but he had had consumption, en-
largement of the liver and weakness
of the heart for many years, and
within two hours of being carried
home he breathed his last.
Remarks of Brother Gardner ::
The President said that this was
another illustration of the old say
ing: "When ye think ye stand ye
may fall" Brother Howker was a
close student of American history.
He had settled the fact that Colum-
bus had discovered America, but
was not quite satisfied as to the
date. 1t was in seeking this to fix
that he nobly perished. He did not
die leading a brigade of cheering
men against battery of belching
cannon, bit history would still re-
member him and record his name
on its pages. Brother Howker bor-
rowed considerable money and for
got to return it, now and then he
didn't seem to care whether he told
the truth or something more solid,
but he averaged up with other men
and only his virtues should be re-
membered.
Remarks of Sir Isaac Walpole
Sir Isaac Walpole said that death
loved shining mark, and Brother
Howker was good deal of sinner.
He was a patient, even-tempered
and good -natured man. Itmade not
the least difference to him whether
he was bitten by 15-cent or 50
dog. If it rained he hoped it would
be good for somebody's cabbages.
If it was dry he knew that thous-
ands of washwomen would rejoice.
| He was ambitious, but not aggress-
i've. He had his aims, but was not
wire-puller. No doubt he meant
to repay borrowed money. but alb
sence of mind stood in his way.
Brother Howker was generally be-
hind in his rent, but he had figured
out the weight Of the Pyramids to
pound. He was in debt to the
butcher and grocer, but he could
tell all about Demosthenes and
Cicero. While all flesh must die,
there was a good deal of flesh walk
ing around which could have been
spared.
Remarks of Samuel Shin: Sam
uel Shin said that the sad news was
broken to him while carrying home
a can of oysters which he had pur-
chased at a discount on account OF
the thaw. He was stunned. He felt
like one who had received crush
ing blow on the end of the nose. 1t
was only the day before that he had
met Brother Howker pricing turnips
at grocery, and his remarks that
the turnips of to-day were not the
turnips of forty years ago still
sounded in his ears. He had already
called on the bereaved widow and
assured her that Brother Howker
owed him 81 borrowed money, but
that he would not press the matter
for a month or SO.
Remarks of Waydown Bebee
Brother Bebee said he could scarce
ly realize the sad news. just one
brief hour before the word came to
him Brother Howker had called at
his house to ask him what year
William the Conqueror died in and
to borrow half cake of bar soap
That soap was found in his coattail
pocket when he was taken home,
and that fact would always be
consolation. He had known the
deceased for twenty-five long years
and be had never heard him express
dissatisfaction with his lot but once
That was when he was laid up in
bed with the rheumatism, and an
afternoon paper stated that 2,OOC
chickens had got out of q barn and
were scattered all over the northern
suburbs.
There were a number of othel
speeches in this strain, and after {
committee had been appointed te
draft resolutions suitable to the oc
casion the meeting adjourned.
| A New "Spell1ng."
/ The word ''gauge," so much used
| ~rvl IStopa