davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state herald., 1891-01-30
WIT AND HUMol,.

ploddlng is its beef and bread. Puck
He was generous to fault" whom
tho fault was his wn.-2eras Siflings.
6ho-"He talks like book" He
What pity he doesn't shut up us
easily"
tits very hard" sighed tho gas
meter; Il always register. but l can't
te."--Puc1
Proiane history has pages added to
It at the putting up of every stovc.-
Hsstchison Netos.
The debt of Nature is one that n man
is dunned to death for before no settles.
Binghamton Leader.
els this old latch-kcy relic of your
grandfather's daysp" mo; of his
nights. "-Indiandpolis Journal.
The longer man lives the moro he
becomes convinced of the unfailiny
friendship Of II dollar.-Atchison
Globe.
Next to making mistake yourself
the easiest thing Is to crilicisc the mis-.
takes of other people. Somerriile
Journal.
"Plunkitt." said buckets. ''if You
had a million what would you dor"
wish lhad another" replied Plunkilt.
Puck.
Mover was there wife so near
sighted that she could not discover a
long hair on her husbands shoulder
Boston Traveller.
She-"You are shivering! Are you
coldg" He-"Yes; must take some
thing Warm" She-"l'm warm us
toast."-M !. Herald
why do you put up that sign,
Hands OF. on tho outside of the build
ingp" Because my men arc on u
strike. Boston Gazette.
What makes the world go around?"
he murmured tenderly. II believe"
she replied. that II is the law of gravi.
taiion. WhyP'--Society.
"Dr. Pellet cured you, undorstandPn
Yes" Hes n homeopa,h, bcicvc?"
Yes" Then you are Sugar cured,
supposcp"-M. Y. san
Miss Hyscc-"I was enrorcd three
times. wasn't I?" Nine. Logec-"Yes.
the company seemed to recognize that
you needed practice. The NcU Moon.
| "A German chemist has anayzcd
beer and found il to contain kardobcu-
dictcnkraut." Yes; they find new
beauties in beer every day.n-M y
San.
A man can have only one past.
but he is not limited in the matter OF
presents. and hc can have all the
futures he can manage TO buy
Rochester Post.
Bears live mostly ON plants and
fruits" remarked the teacher. "ln
New York they live on lambs" inter-
rupted Tommy, who reads the news
papers.-Rackct.
Book Agent to Editor-"Can ! sell
you our new book. Thoughts on the
Hereaftcr'?", Elitor-"No use for H.,
my desk is jam up to tho steam heater. p"
Atlanta Constitution.
Host-"Great Scott There are tlir-
teen ut the tablet Guest Surely
you're not SO suprrs,itious as NIL tlai?'
mo. but there's only food enough for
twclvc!'-Bosto Traveller.
In what key is that song. Home
Sweet Home, writtcu?' asked Blykins
Of his wife. The night key, | should
judge" replied that lady with atiable
emphasis. - Washington Post.
Husband al see that u woman Is
about to apply for seat in tho New
York Stock Exchange" Wiic-'Why
don't some Of the men get up and give
her q seaipn-LoDeA Citizen.
Customer-"Oi wan tn sec some fu,
gloves" Dcalcr-"Any special furP
Customcr- .'SorP" Dealer - 'Whnl
furp" Customcr-"T kapc me hands
warm. o. course. "-Brooklpn Life.
The state herald., 1891-01-30
Evea So

The first half Of mans life. tits true.
He spends In finding whnt To do;
Tho other half, see n he 'front.',
He spends In learning what 10 d1nt.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

"what Ia tho first lesson In journal.
ismP" asks young man. II Ia this;
When you go Into tho Office Of nm
editor, malso your visit short --wost-
err Rural.
The state herald., 1891-01-30
The gag rule in Washington ought to be
q check on intemperance, Mt least.
TOURISTS.

Whether on pleasure bent or business
OF Figs, as 1t nets most pleasantly and eff
fectually on the kidneys, liver and bowels,
preventing fevers, headaches and other
forms Of sickness. For sale in Zoo ind
Sl.0O bottles by all leading druggists,
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Mira. DE Bnrt-''Dear. | think Mr..
Corral. who recently made his fortune
In Texas. is voritable rough dia-
mond." Jewclcr Dc Bort-'Then, my
dear. we ought to cut him."-Jdoeier's
Weekly.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

On February End and ird the Union Pa
via Fort Worth TO Galveston and New
Orleans Mt s;ii05 and $3.50 respectively
for the round trip.
The Mardi Gras pnrcants this season
will surpass all other productions In their
magnifeonee and splondor.
For particulars and tickets call nj lI03
Larimer St. Denver.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

When Bnby wna rick, we gave her castoria,
When she wns Child, she cried for castorin,
When she became Miss, she chung 20 Castoria,
when she hat Children, she gave them cnstoria,
The state herald., 1891-01-30

You wear out clothes on wash board
ten times as much ms on the body. Holu
foolish. Buy Dobbins' Electric Soap Of
your grocer and save this useless wear.
Made ever since 1854. Don't take imita-
tion. There are lots Of them.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Next TO getting married, probably tho
most important duty tho ordinary man has
TO perform In life time is to run for u
bottle Of DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup when
tina habv has tho croup
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Galveston is tho coming sea port OF tho
South mud invites tho North TO visit here,
February 9th to 10th, during her grand
celebration
The state herald., 1891-01-30

When II Is an advantage to trade pos Is,
every army officer is ready 10 become a
post trader,
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Deadheading is about done away with
among express companies. They won't
express mi opinion unless thcy IRE pad
for it,
The state herald., 1891-01-30
Delicate Children, Nursing

II You want to SEQ something fine, see
Galveston Mardi-Gras illustrated hangers.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

I cheerfully recommend Salvation oil
for chllblains and sprains, We have
tested II ut home for these troubles, and
three applications gave entire relief In
each ease.
J. J. NORFOLK, tof J. J. Norfolk x Bro, }
"a = Charles st baltimore Md.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Tho military and tho railroad presidents
are both engaged in making II hot for
'sculpersu
The state herald., 1891-01-30
COMPOSITE HUMANITY.
MAN MAY BE BOUND in HALF
CALF OR DoosKIN.
D. SwapeIng Skln sad Bones with the Brstes,
the tutsrs Nan Hay Cast Sleeps
Eyes At His Fellow IN Earnest
-Borrcued Noses.

Slowly and surely tho word elm
possible" Is becoming obsolete in the
lexicon Of surgery, as each year sees
triumphantly performed under the
scalpel OF the skilled practitioner
feats undreamed Of decade before.
Following rapidly upon the track Of
u successful operation In Texas in
which tho diseased collar bone OF n
patient was replaced by portion OF
the osseous anatomy Of sheep, came
the clean removal Of u diseased lobe Of
n chlld's brain In Philadelphia
hospital, the successful pate hing OF u
lacerated stomach, removed and re-
placed in tho operation. and q most
remarkable case Of bono grating in
New York.
In tho last instance the removed
bone OF lads calf was supplanted by
one from spaniers leg. severed
end Of the latter being spllnted to tho
calf, and both boy and dog carefully
tended until the knitting was effected.
when tho strange pair were separated
md human and canine patient nursed
buck to hoalth and strength.
These are but iew illustrations OF
the strides taken by modern surgery.
But they suffice, even without further
trust in the future. to make average
humanity thankful for It's nineteenth
century existence.
When one OF Noah's grandchildren
lost n finger in hay cutter or an arm
In n buzz-saw, Or had IN eye put out
or a leg cut of, or lost his hair or
teeth. he was forced to go without the
item thus deducted from his sum total
for the rest OF his mortal life. IL is
hard TO credit the amount OF patching
up that may now DO accomplished by
the advanced processes and inventions
OF these days.
Suppose that man has lost all four
limbs, his hair. his eyes, his nose. all
his teeth and portion OF his palate;
he has fractured skull and tuberclcs
on his lungs. The gentleman may also
be covered with the pits OF an early
case OF smallpox, and may have been
P'''e"'eu az "'s '"'" WIN '"'so
First. OF course, he will have his
.'e"N ''ep"nneu ~ so", '".,'iu. su'
fso"' gu" VIZ" no '',', ""' ''' ',o''-
e'e' ' ',. y, no4' A'' ,u"s' " u
po''' :" p"'"o"y u''e'' Gnu
nus ,'eo'.'ou run 'ne eNhau''l.
e'oo's Vi 'neso '"o opera''o"s no VIII
W W y p'ope' ,"'o " ""'o III, eyes
a. .' w. "a ,''''' so'oe.e'
""o Us, op',.' "'' VI eo'or '.eon'"s
70 ''o suoI'.'' '"u ono vi MON Is
a"'P''"'ou ~ "V'' VI .'""''o'oh'e'
W. eo"'se "o ''"'u '"'a's eNpo's W
navy wv" ey's 'u''o's''s supP''e'
-" ,"'' WY '"' surprising "o mas soo'
."e@ 'au que grows s"''s'"''ori,f' INC
o'"'f so'"e@ 'o' ,"' sam y. ''e"t
.nu ssa"'e''y' wiz 10 n'.eu W que %
'"e gus e!e' w" '""'"'"''"''u "
sue" per'e'''o"' -,
ms "'N' processing "mi 20 W oa'
:" " nan. VI "' ~, ,. ','o' ""u y.
"oAe' 'o' '"'' SUN VI ""' ""'
''ss'
'"o P"''o"s 70 'o'.u"a" 'uous" "
"' o"' "'n Wv" :" ."' "''' ~
W." 20 '"pp''eu VIZ" "a"u W."
-" ~ ~, 80, ',"""s az, W 80 ~
The state herald., 1891-01-30

In peace prepare for war, especially
when IL is one piece Of pie aud two hungry
boys ere after it.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

The Galveston Mardi-Gras, February
9TH TO 10TH will DO the grandcst cclebra-
ton ever held in the South.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

An Irishman's love is not abridged how
ever earnestly no dcvotos himself To a
Bridget.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

"BIowN's BRoScHAL TRocnEs' aro
excellent for tho relief OF Hoarscness or
Sore Throat They are exceedingly ef
fective. "-ChristiOn World, London, Eng
The state herald., 1891-01-30

"only the brave gets the fare,n said the
tramp us he tackled u large piece OF minco
pic which tho farmers wife brought him.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Bank failures in the Mississippi valley
may always be counted on when there Is u
GREAT flood in the river
The state herald., 1891-01-30

II every man would try 10 reform MIN
self, less effort would be required In re
forming others.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

First thoughts, like first loves, nro best,
and they are all the thoughts, too, that u
good many people over have.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Young writers should send manuscripts
along with their stamps, not for publica
tion but us an evldcncc Of good falth.
The state herald., 1891-01-30
proice, Your Health.

Cold aud moisture combined have tor
por ising effect upon the bodily organs, and
tho digestive and secrciiyc processes are
apt 70 b. moro tardily performed In winter
than In tho fail Tho same Ia true, also,
Of tho oxorotory functions. Tho bowels
arc often sluggish, and tho pores OF tho
skin throw on but llttlo waste matter nj
this season. Tho system, therefore, fo-
qulrcs opening up little, but also purify.
Ing and regulating, and tho safest .urrst
and most thorough tonic and alternative
that can DO used for these purposes I.
IIostrtter's Stomach llittrrs. Persons
who wish 10 escape tho rheumatic twlnfcs,
tho dyspoptic ngunlea, tho palnful dis.
turbanccs OF the bowels, tho bilious Mt
tnrks, and tho nervous yl.ltailonr, 80 CON.
mon nj this tim. Of the year, will do well
10 reinforce their systems with this 70,
nownsd vegetable s,oniachir aud inylRor.
ant IL Improves tho appetite, strength.
ems tho stomach, cheer. tho spirits, ahd
rrBovatcs tho whole physique
Tho ship Of natrinony has companion
way, but thoro DO many husbands and
wives who never find u
rrArs o.. ONO. err or Totrpo, =.
Lucas COUNTY,
fHAxx J. Unrsrr make. oath that he I. N,
sSni0r partner 81 the firm off, tiinsKf * Co..
doing business In the CITY Of Toledo, County
and Htatc Aforesaid, aud that said nfin Will pay
tho sum of ONE HUNDRED DDLLAllS TOT
zach and every casr ~ Intaffh that cannot DO
cured by the use VI HAAS uafLhnii uunr.
FRANK !. CHENEY.
sworn b before fnr and subscribed IN ny
presence, this 9th day Of Drccinbcf y lt,G'
lsrAL ~ We .ais,v g.,;,,
iisii's Caiarrh Cure Ia taken Internally and
acts directly upon the blood aud mucous ,gf.
faces of the system. Fond for testimonials,
ficc. Y, !, CHENEY 4 co, Toledo, u.
tU-Bold bv Druggists, 10 cents.
Rapid transit IL 40 popular In New York
that trance mediums who are slow cannot
rot any business IL IL fnrld trance sit or
The state herald., 1891-01-30
NBRVINE TABLETS a.; ne 3;::

Lest Nantnui, .tr.. rna=i ~ NfntiSE Tan
tins. si.0oa It.okaE,' q 10 rknges Tot 500 Put
~ IN cunsenisnt form 10 oHrry IN vest pocket.
N'nt by mall ~ ans a.lifras. tiruuinfs fire.
DoSLHyY MEDICAL CourtsT. It's Chhfnpa st..
or Box lao Denver tolnfafid.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

An empty poekctbook Ia n mans
most CONSTANT friend. Others may
grow cold. but Ia will fnd no change
u W pprte@0rtN 6erftSsisn EssSs.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Rapid transit IL 40 popular In New York
that trance mediums who are slow cannot
rot any business. II Is rnrld trance n, N
nothing.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Fish are water drinkers as rule, but
the shark never objects TO taking u nip.
The state herald., 1891-01-30

Customer-"Oi wan tn sec some fur
gloves" Dcalcr-''Any special fnrP'
Customer .'Sorp" Dealer - "Whnt
furP" Customcr-''Tu knpc me hands
warm. o. course. "-Brookiyn Life.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22
o,,rp nrs7ryrTrOys WHICH MEN DRAW.

.paonle do draw the ridiculous distinctions some
~ aid the nan from suburbs who always smokes
niue on the For instance II friend asks you
for postage stamp. and you give Il to HIM he becomes
d,a,, when YOU demur 20 accepting the two cents In
avment lie assumes a highly yirtuous air ana insists
hs, he f. always very careful Ia small matters
,,ke the two cents Yet oSer him cigar or ask him 70
take drink with yoa and he exploits 10 scruples ous
cent, NJ once II Is entirely possible. too. that II ha
narrowed IS from you would forget 10 return IT, but
when it is question OF two cents he Is punctlious to
degree.
.IIere Is another example OF queer sense OF what 10
right Men in the employ Of the Government who uss
rcai ranked envelopes for private correspondence ara
usually careful out the printed warning sgan~
misuse Of the envelope They paste stamp in the corner
and mail the letter with satisfied feeling OF having over
come a temptation and OF having doae the right thing.
Va, ~ 4, il wrong 70 cheat the OF two cents
l. IL not equally improper cheat IL Of The fraction OF
cent which the envelope cossi There difference %
tween the two uAnsscens. but It u one Of aeSres only"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22

IN the various States, IL being urged BY many Hiat
the formation Of such state organizations constituted
the raising and maintaining by the various sri"' VI
an army. Yet the great benefit 10 the country iro"
The existence OF such organizations being recoeneu ,e
Constitution finally amended so rs to permit 'ie
States 10 maintain an effective militia. The woFo-
Ing Of the amendment is such, however that 1t III
tended IN 1--WE pprmssior only for land forces and
eouh scarcely be made 10 apply 10 the maintenance
b. the state OF q ship of war. Differed and manned
By State sailors AT least this is the opinion OF aDie
hvyers who have looked into the subject
There are however, two sides to every question:
and the Naval Reserve Association OF Ne"-iorh J.
dssfous Of getting all sorts Of opinions on the point
possible that II the plan Of state SHIP IS deeaeu
70 be the best ruling may be got from the supreme
Court the subject.
Tie ADVANTAGE NJ tbe state having a ship of its own
IA advocated br many. for the reason that IT would
way be at tc service of the Reserve for purposes OF
en ard Instruction. and the organization wo'uu ho'
have 10 wait for practice nntil sueh ies a. '"o
Government could spare ship Tor shch purposes.
kxlgences might arise in which the Government WON"
nave for every of its meh-ol-"a'. Io' D'"e'
uses and those times would be Just the ones IN "hich
drilling of the Naval Reserve would be most important
Anothe- plan which mas some advocates Is 10 nave
The Government keep always in the principal port VI
State having Naval Militia one small modern
vessel, which shall be for the use OF inc N"ai nv
serves. This plan looks simplicity iScn' p"' a
practical objections The ship wonld need 70 nave
oneers and men Of the regular service aoo"i"' ,'"D
While they would be OF valne a. INSTRUCTORS 'i'eY
would have to be In command and would renucr y '"'
possible for officers ard Of the Reserve 10 "oI"'.
certain qualities and &c; certain expenchoc' VIM
car only by their being allowed to run 'io "P
themselves, with, OF course. few Oihcers ""u p
oneers detailed for purposes Of Destruction "'t.'y
Then Of cours, would come the question OF tic GOV
e'nment being willing 10 assume the expense VI nun~
ing and maintaining feet Of the kind As 'he ->"'''
reserve grows. The feet would have to Aeop P'''
WIN II, and would finally become a large one.
When there is difficulty In manning the sinpS vi 'n
regular Navy it is doubtful If the Government WOMB
anoertake the additional burden Of feet iof o'a'e
ss3oses only. However, 1t Is safe 10 say tha' s''
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22

solution OF the problem viii be worked out, for en-
'husasuo ana well equipped minds at work on IL.
IN the formation OF every thing there Is n time
OF trial ana tribnla,ion In which chaos works Itself
into kosmos and the Naval Reserve OF the state OF
New-fork was no exception to the general law. When
Commander Philip Low, after long and arduous labos
ad got the Naval Reserve Battalion in snch shape that
1t was an accomplished fact he turned the cons
mand to Commander J. W. Miller. Almost at once
The new commander found that his bed not bed
OF roses nor his paths those Of peace. The first
troublesome question that confronted him the one
OF uniforms, and with that he has scarcely done yet
When lie ordered that the enlisted when on duty
should wear white working suits. similar TO those worn
by the sailors of the regular Navy, there trouble
a portion Of the men objected and wanted TO wear
uniform that looked like officers. He impressed
upon such men that they must be sailors before they
could be officers and did not Join the Reserves to
begin as rearadmirals and work down. The sensible
ones Immediately put their working salts and
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22

prehend principles and work from them to facts While
the ordinary enlisted man is obliged to work from
memorization Of facts toward principles which he is
seldom able to comprehend fully. So the men OF the
Naval Reserve the admiration of officers ana men
Of the Squadron Of Evolution in the drills OF
The last summer and settled once for all the question
Of the value OF a naval militia.
The problem OF providing ship for the instruction
Of the Naval Reserve. one 10 be exclusively devo'ed
to that purpose is problem the solution OF which Is
beset with many difficulties The Naval Reserve be
ing a State institution, a Marine National Guard, 1t
would at first sight that the State might provide
a suitable ship for the drilling Of the members as II
now provide armores for the land forces The pro
yidinc and maintaining of such ship by the state
woud be- however in the opinion Of many, an uncon-
stutional act. The Constitution originally forbade
an, State to maintain Army or Navy The Mil
tia was Intended to be Of National and not State
character and was provided for by law drawn by
General Knox which made every man between certain
ages portion of it. prescribed methods for his drill
and discipline That law is still on the statute books
nm. tbe failure Of il 70 work practically caused The
rrovth of the present uniformed militia organizations
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22
OLDEST WEST POINTMEN.
GENERAL GREENE AND COLONEL YOUNG

THEY WERE ARMY OFFICERS SEVENTY YEARS Aco
AND HAVE HAD CAREERS TO BE PROUD OF
You could not have helped turning around ana Ss@
Ing Who are they - II you had been passing aions
upper Broadway one day last week, and had seen wv"
aged and venerable looking men linked toge'her' ana
with an unmistakable military carriage, who went n'o
the Photographic studio of George G. Rociwcod' az
No. LAO Broadway, have their pictures tahSh' "a
Tribune reporter set out to gather material ior al
answer that question: and he gives In THIS story al
that he found out about these two patrarchal Amench
citizens and presents besides their pictures taken
separately and together. one is Colonel William L.
Young and the other General George ,. Greene, ue
older by least twelve years each than any othef
living graduate OF the United States Military Academy
at West Point. They hardy boys when England
made her second attempt TO crush the rising young
Republic and outraged the rules of all honorable
warfare between civilized nations by setting hre 10
tho Capitol buildings In Washington. They were Old
enough remember distinctly the defeat OF Napoleon
at Waterloo, and proud young officers in the fui
bloom Of early manhood, wearing the uniform OF the
Republic in Uncle Sans great military academy when
the author of Childe Harold died. They have seen
the population Of their country from 1000
900 to O00 and the most active and energetic
branch of the human expand the sway OF empire
and tho authority of the Republic from the rocky and
storm beaten coasts of the Atlantic to the calmer
waters Of the Pacific main.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-22
COMMANDER MIL

The Naval Reserve Of Ncw-York and of Boston are
N. two pioneer organizations of the kind. The two
A.. fermed on nearly the same plan and basis The
pbode Island Naval Reserve comes next in point Of
rr,sdence but is organized entirely different
man In that little State the plan is TO have corps
:, croers and men, onehalf of whom shall be efficient
a, IN, use OF torpedoes submarine mines and the use
;. rr,st guns in coast forfcstiOns. and the other
,au Of whom shall be able not only 10 handle the
ems % board modern man-ofwar, but who will be
s.,nen and navigators also
In Connecticut the present plan is to form Naval
p.,.rve for use in coast Notifications. This body
n he used reinforcing. in case Of necessity, the
..r4sons which will be maintained in the forts which
s 10 be built at the eastern entrance Of Long Island
sor.s The forts will form both the outer eastern
u,s If defenocs Of New-York and the protection of
s connecticut shore. The drills the last summer Of
d. Massachusetts, Naval Reserve in Massachusetts,
"a, and of the New-YoFk organization at Fishers
leland showed with what readiness such material can
$. made effective The reason OF the rapidity with
,hch the sailors Of the Reserve learned their self
rnoseo duties was, of course, that being young men
a, education and intelligence they were able to com