The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-09-08
ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE.
Human Hog. Who Seem to BE Without the
Pale of the Law.

Pale al the LAW.
The manners displayed by people on
our elevators are so striking that
should like to discourse of them.
should like to discourse of them very
much. indeed. But the lack Of manners
is so much moro striking as to demand
exclusive attention.
Those weak-minded men, who bring
cigarettes or assafetida into elevator
cars, are certainly without the pale OF
the law.
Milder offenders are those who bring
in an oior of chronic alcoholism APP
| parently there are some men so unfor-
tunate that they can not drink any
thing without its going straight to their
breath. These men deserve our pity;
but they ought to be made TO enter
buildings by the fire-escape.
There are imbccile people, though
do not kncy that their intentions are
evil, who get off excitcdly at every land
ing where the door is opened, and look
about like startled fawns- The ele-
yator-boy has to win them back into the
| lift with gentle words. After they have
arrived at the top. ingenious and kindly
| questioning usually discovers the fact
that they are in the wrong building.
business men-those men so fortunate
as to have not only intelligence but OPP
portunity for using it-are seldom so
lacking in charity to their interiors as
TO demand that dudes shall not ride in
an elevator with them. But they GER
tainly have Just cause to complain to
the owner of the building when the
dude is one who turns to the mirror,
and affects to regard his image with
favor.
When there Is a crowd waiting to take
the elevator, a woman comes to the door,
and advises with the elevator-boy conf
dentially, critically and in detail con-
corning a number Of matters foreign to
the affairs Of the impatient crowd. In
general, she uses an easy. smblinS
voice, but occasionally she takes the
elevator-boy up very shortly. She places
her arms across the elevator door in Or
der that she MAJ not be unwarrantably
disturbed by people entering the car.
When she has completed her inquiries
pes she observes:
several -osed."
"Ah. as l SUPP
There IRE some capitalists worth s4oo.
who have become So used TO regarding
people as their slaves that they make
nothing of keeping car of serfs wait
ing. while they complete some moment
Gus commercial conversation. When
finally they enter, they seem to say:
II am now ready; you may proceed
But the prime offender Is sui an
other. There is a tendency Of apoplexy
T in nv family, and can speak Of him
,, only with the greatest caution. He Il
the genial, whole-souled gentleman
usually corpulent brute, who. having
l entered a car. persists in remaining nea
the door where all who come in mus
crush by him. This erring person Il
: going TO the top to see some obscur'
tenant under the back rafters, and tn
: hideous malefactor takes a yenomou
: satisfaction-a foolish but innocent dc
light-in knowing that all who crusl
by him coming in must also crush b,
him going out-the poisonous, hunch
backed toad.
But the variety of clowns and felon
: whom / could mention Is endless
" once started in to make catalogue
all the ill-mannered people OF this cit
!. who ride on elevators, but l learne
y with keen relief that the city director
: was engaged in getting the sam
:. names.
:, :, If it were only the small, spiritle:
- men who transgress against good mai
u uers, / could advise forthwith how
u >emeiy the evil But when l see no
~ many tall. disagreeable scoundrel:
~ there are who offend. / am the first
~ admit that the subject is one deman
~ ing mature thought
~ There is no reason, however. why v
should not begin at once with the lit
> men. They should be forcibly and fea
:. lessly taught salutary lesson in e.
" quette May be the large men. whit
y, they had seen how We regard bad maj
ners, would feel ashamed of themselve
-Williston Fish, in Puck.