The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-04-23
TEMPERANCE NOTES.
A SALOON KEEPER.

JEMI ENANCE NUlEO.
A SALOON KEEPER.
What He WIN Do for Thos. Who Patron
izo Him.
10 all whom it may concern, with a
general invitation to the people of the
world:
Know ye, that having just opened
licensed shop for the sale of liquors in
this place, embrace this opportunity
of informing you that l have COM
menced the business of making drunk
ards, paupers and beggars for the in
dustrious and respectable of the COM
munity to support. I will for small
sum undertake., on short notice and
with the greatest expedition, to pre-
pare victims for the poorhouse, lunatic
asylum, prisons and gallows. shall
deal In familiar spirits, which invite
men to riot, robbery and bloodshed, and
by so doing diminish the comforts, in
crease the expenses and endanger the
welfare of the community. will fur
nisn an article suited to the taste,
which will increase the number of ia
tai accidents, multiply distressing dis
eases, and render those compare
lively harmless, incurable. I will
deal in drugs which will de-
prive some of life, many of
reason, most of property, and all of
peace; which will cause fathers to be-
come fends, and will cause wives to be-
come widows, and children to become
oil <o
ferers. will cause the rising genera
ton to grow up in ignorance and prove
a nuisance to the nation. I will cause
mothers to forget their helpless chill
dren, and priceless virtue no longer to
remember its value. will endeavor
to corrupt the ministers of the Gospel,
defile the purity of the churches, cause
spiritual, temporal and eternal death
If any person should be so impertinent
as to ask why have the audacity to
bring such accumulated misery upon a
comparatively happy people, my honest
reply is: "Greenbacks! Greenbacks!
Greenbacks!' I live in land of lib
erty. l have purchased the right to de-
molish the character, destroy the health,
shorten the lives and ruin the souls of
all those who choose to honor me with
their patronage. Come one! Come all!
Come on! Ipledge myself to do all
herein promise. Those who wish any
of the evils above specified brought up
on themselves and their dearest friends
are requested to meet at my 'Bar,' -
where l will for a few cents furnish
them with the certain means of doing
so. My sign informs one and all that
there will be empty pockets made here,
red noses made here, fighters, gamblers,
forgers, drunkards and murderers
made here, widows and orphans made
here, Jail birds made mere, candidates
for the penitentiary made here, drunk
ards graves dug here, victims for the
gallows and candidates for hell made
here, by virtue of my license to sell in
toxicating drinks, for the law allows
it, and the court awards my right
to do 50, and have paid my license,
that is fact. Furthermore, here is
the mandatory, where men upon
whose face the image of God is stamped
are changed as if by magic by drinking
of whisky at ten cents dram into the
1udSc vi ucVAlS ~ Will CLduSc kOOu,
sober husbands into bad ones, produce
bloated faces, bloodshot eyes and lead
them surely on the road to hell. More
than that, know We, one and all, he
who enters here is welcome to stay
and drink as long as he has money,
and when he has no more and the time
comes to close up my shanty for the
night he shall be transported to his
night lodgings free gratis by being
kicked out into the street, with the
cold earth for bed to lie on and the
canopy of the heavens above him for a
covering unless happen to be drunk
myself, in which case he can stay with
me where l stay. So take notice, all
we that see and hear this advertisement
of mine, for l am IN honest dealer in
whisky and Intoxicating drinks.-Fire-
Brand.