The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-07-28
BRIGHT BITS.


Mrs. ELLA WHEELER WILCOX S latest poem is
entitled ''No More" If she only means it,
Indianapolis Journal
HELLO, Quinine?"
why, Malaria, old boy, how are you?
Shake. -PhtlGdelDhia Times
LITTLE BoY-Mamma, may 1 go swimming?
Mamma-rm afraid you'll get drowned.
Little Boy-Why, this isn't Sunday. Good
Aers.
CUsToMRR-Haven't you any larger towels?
Salesman-lm afraid not (apologetically)-
You see most of our business is with summer
hotels.-PJck.
FIRST TRAMP-What are you painting those
green stripes on your pants for?
SECOND TRAMP-Thats Paris green; it's for
dogs.-Boston Courier.
MINIsTER-Have you ever cast your bread
upon the waters2
Mrs. s. (proudly)-Never, since my first
batch.TAItoEtSen Sentinel.
rs young Nh. Gotham familiar with Brown
ing In any degreer'
"Famillar!" replied the Boston maid; hes
positively fippant. "-indtGnapOIis Journal.
GREAT NUIsANCE-"It's q beastIy bore hay
ing these ocean steamers start after P. M,
said Howell iibbou. "Such nuisance of hav-
ing TO start for Europe in dress suit "-P1tck
"Do YOU belong to this church," inquired the
stranger.
No, sir, replied the wealthy member of the
congregations, IuIS GQuFCn DtiOuRS 10 NE.
Chicago Tribune.
De PoKER-That stranger is an English lord
in disguise.
De Cluo-How do you know?
De Poker-I caught him cheating at cards
Ne'c York Weekly
Chollie-Haye cigawette, deah boy?
Chappie- Thanks, old fel, but it's too beastly
hot.
Cholly-But I've had them on ice ovah night
better have one.-BrOokiyn Life.
WAITER (at fashionable restaurant)-what is
your order SAD?
Customer Bowl of crackers and milk (Giv.
ing him tip Hurry, please. My train leaves
IN three hourS,-Chlcdg7 Tribune.
"PEAcE fills the man who richly reaps
And with plenty is content
And likewise, too, the tramp who sleeps
And doesn't care TO earn a cent.
Chicago Herald.
AT a fashionable gathering gentleman made
owing to the stupidity of those present failed
completely. After a painful pause he finally
remarked: Now let us be silent on some other
subject '-Teras StfttnGs.
LOOK HERE" said the wrathful young law
yer, Il thought you swore to give a verdict In
accordance with the tactsf"
WALL answered the juryman, thoughtfullY
pulling his beard, the facts didn't turn out as
l expected EN- to. Ind ondpoIis Journal
ALAS" said the tramp, Il am hungry and
sore;
Is there no one to pity my plght?"
"Oh, yes. " cried the dog, as he sharpened his
teeth,
Come in and I'll give you a bite
Baltimore american,
81 DON'T know what Smith does with his
money"
Nor
No. don't Yesterday he was short ana he
is short agEin to-day
Did he want TO borrow from your"
mo, hang it, | wanted to borrow from him. -
-Nelc York Press.
Mrs. QUARTz-Injun?
Hauk-Ya-aS.
Mrs. QuartS-Git him?
Hank-Dead'r winged one'r t'other
Mrs. Quartz-Jest look over n see il he's got
any blue beads on his moccasins | need bout
a thimble full more fer that "Peace'n Good
will" motter card I'm workin - Erchanoe
Bishop K had officiated in the college
chapel one Sunday morning, and, though his
| discourse was most excellent 10 itself, It had no
obvious connection with the text with which he
introduced it. At dinner Prof. Y was asked
her opinion of the bishops sermon. Dear old
| man" she exclaimed at was truly apostolic
He took a text, and then he went every where
preaching the gospelr-Kate Fields WASHING
ton.