The Jersey City news., 1891-08-06
NOVEL MAKING RECIPES.
A Few Preserved and Dried Hints
for Amateur Use.

Owing to the increasing amount oil
attention now being paid by men,
women and children of all classes OF
intellect and profession to the inter
esting amusement of writing novels,
it is thought writes "Egomet" in an
amusing brochure published in Mur-
rays Magazine, that it may not be
out of place to offer to the writing
public the following little conpen-
dunn of the principles adopted by our
most successful modern authors. The
compiler trusts that it may at least
contribute TO save the beginner from
the necessity of distressingly
heightened survey of their works, the
dislike of which ordeal, il is to be
feared, not unfrequently drives him
to the desperate measure OF observ-
ing human nature at first hand. Fol-
lowing are few of "Egomet'sn re-
cipes;-
Artist. "A limp creature in long hair
and knickerbockers.
Atheist.-If introduced, always the
most virtuous man in the book.
Baronet. "A bold, bad man; some
thing like a French marquis, but
younger.
Barrisrer. bad as a baronet, but
not so bold.
Confession you have got
the story into such hopeless mess
that your murder cannot by any other
possibility be discovered, then natur-
ally your murderer will confess.
Confidence. "A secret told to a
friend and confided by him to others.
Curate.-Is expected TO use bad lam
cuage once in the book.
Documents. When intended to be
destroyed are torn up, never burnt, or
how could they subsequently be
pieced together2
Duchess.-Is dear" portly and
respectable.
Eves.-Violet for heroine; brown for
honest; grey for cruelty.
Fire.-OnIy breaks out when girls
are desired to appear in deshabille.
See, therefore, that the fire never
occurs during the daytime.
French. is the language authors
believe themselves to be using when
they introduce and italicize words
which they know are not English.
Ingenue. "A useful novelistic fic-
tion.
Lovers.-The rule is. 1.-TWO to each
girl, if good; one apiece to the rest;
one rejected lover at least to remain
single all his life.n
Nurse. Avoid young women who
nurse male friends with view to
matriinony. This use of illness has
been done to death.
Plagiarism. is generally con-
ceded that this is impossible, there
fore copy freely.
Secrets. Are always divulged ek
cept when first mentioned toward the
close of the book The methods of
diyulging are six:--F'irst, by leaving
about papers on which the secret is
written; second, by talking loudly in
the presence of those from whom it is
desired the secret should be kept;
third, by somnambulism. or talking
in sleep: fourth, by delirium; fifth,
by visions in dreams, and sixth, by
blotting paper.
Social Novel:-A blue book with a
yellow back.
Uncle (AUunculus legdns):-A per-
son who makes money presents and
leaves unexpected legacies. He must
be carefully distinguished from the
Fleet street variety-AUu7acutt trfpt-
lGris.
w fe-If introduced as such at the
commencement little daliying with
the serpent is expected.
Wills made to be altered, lett
about or lost, if irretrievably, then
see that subsequent and more equit-
able will is discovered.
World-Consists of Great Britain,
Paris, the Riviera, Rome, Naples,
Venice and Hamburg Some novelists
believe that there are other places,
and occasionally allude to them; but
it is unsafe to venture beyond the To-
calities indicated.