The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-01-04
plrH AND POINT.

Summer G.rl-"That Mr.. Do Salti
Doesn't talk about any thing but the
sea, and he uses so many sailor terms
that can't understand half he says.
Does he own ship?" Landsman-"fso.
but he has q friend who oano cat.
boat."-Good News.
Wife during quarre)-"If was
man l wonlA Slow the top OF my head
oil before L" Husband Qnterrupting)
- don't doubt it, my dear; especially
1t you had to live with the same sort of
vito do" Epoch.
Only Question of Time IT he
Doctor-'If you will keep mo in clothes,
l will treat you for nothing" The
Tailor-"But 1 am never sick" Tho
Doctor-''No, but you will be after we
have made the arrangement" Racket
They talked that way OF mo; they
called mo an ass and donkey" cried
the lawyer to his clork. "Why didn't
you take it down in writing? I'd have
made them prove it," 80, thought
their word of mouth suflicient"-Phila-
delphia Times.
-Parson Blufr-"Remembor, YOU
must give an account of all your actions
and deeds when you go to tho other
world" Jimmy Fastboy-"rm glad
you mentioned it. l am studying new
system OF improved memory. l guess
I'll drop it now."-Yankee Blade.
-Alonzo-"What has como over
Reginald? lie used to be such a shy,
bashful chap, especially with women.
Now he puts on moro airs than no can
carry" Alphonso-''Why. don't you
know? lie was the only man at Under
tow Beach during tho whole month OF
July."-America.
-Smiley-"Thc improvements in
travelling accommodations arc simply
marvellous Why, travelling has actual
ly become pleasure, the appointments
of trains are SO perfect" Bibliomaniac
And yet they neglect ono OF the
principal comforts OF life. They have
no old books shops on tho trains."-
America.
-Judgo-"You are sentenced to one
weeks imprisonment. You Shall have
the best OF food and any literature you
may desire, and Prisoner" Most
righteous Judge" Judge-"Littlo An
MO Rooney shall be played under your
window four times q day" Prisoner
Calling on his knecs) Mercy! Mercy!
Sentence mo to DO hanged, instead. -
Boston Herald
-Lucy-"l'm afraid you do not love
mo as fervcntly as you did" JaclS-"I
swear by yon star that lovo you moro
ficrccly than ever. There is no sacri-
flee l would not mako to convince YOU
that speak the truth" Lucy-"Wcll.
anyway, when you called tonight you
did not embrace me half so closely as
usual Jack-''Iou SEQ | had this five
cent cigar in my vest pocket and was
afraid Id crush it."-Chicago Post.
Jones Ito gathcrer of personal Cos
sip)-"Nhat balderdash is this? You
say here l am stopping at Saratoga
was there only long enough to eat
sandwich" 81 did not say you were
staying there. All l say is that you
stopped there. Isn't that true? There
is all tho difference in tho world be-
tween staying and stopping" $50?
never thought of that But stay! You
may stop my paper. "-Bosuon Tran
script.
A magazine writer has been having
something to say about romarka bio
cases OF momory, but mono OF them arc
SO difficult to account for as tho fact
that n man will sit for hours in crowd
around hot stove in grocery, telling
about things he can remember ever
since carly childhood, and then go
homo without the hairpins and other
things his wife sent him after, taking
along several letters he went up town
to mail. RAMS Horn.