Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-07-09
M'SWAT'S APPLES.
He Tries His Hand at Buying Them. but
Alas!

,
ing" ,
ANY particular kind, BilligerY' in
auired Mrs. McSwat.
IL want good apples of course. AL
most any kind will do except the Ben
Davis. The Ben Davis apple" he said,
with the emphasis of man who felt
deeply on the subject, lis utterly worth
less 1t looks nice enough, but it is
wooden, tough and tasteless. wouldn't
give one respectable crabapple for whole
orchard of Ben Davises."
"rIl be careful promised Mrs. Nc
| Swat, and her husband went away.
When he returned in the afternoon she
ranorted that she had found some very
| nee apples at the grocer's.
What kind are they?" he asked
1.-The grocer didn't know, but he said
/ they were the best in the market"
Ibid You ask him if they were Ben
Davises?"
"Why, no. couldn't think of the
name. But was particular to ask him
if they were good"
Let me see them"
The apples were produced.
Just as expected, Lobelia," he said,
as soon as he saw them. There are
more Ben Davises in the market now
than any other kind, and they've worked
lot of 'em off on you. Hew many have
you got here?'
only half bushel."
] "Only half bushell Sink your teeth
in that one. madam"
1T doesn't seem very good, that's
fact" admitted Mrs. McSwat after tast-
ing it.
They'll have to go back. That's all
there is about it."
, Il can't send them back, Bilhger. l
: didn't take them on trial"
Then empty them in the alley"
Il shall not do that either. They will
: cook all right"
Then keep them by themselves. am
going to the market myself, Mrs. Nc
( Swat, and I'll see if anybody puts lot
z of cork apples off on me. by jocks"
: A few minutes later Mr.. McSwat, with
J. basket on his arm, entered grocery
store a few blocks away.
Have you any good apples he in
o quired.
I'VE have. SIR" promptly answered
e the grocer.
4 What kind are theyY
n Missouri redstreaks."
b Where are theyy'
le in this barrel"
They look like the Ben Davis"
Il bought them for Missouri red
= srreaks- They are all selected apples.
There isn't bad one in the lot"
I'D I'D like 10 taste one"
AL I'VE don't allow that. Apples are
ut apples now. They're worth about five
Dr. cents apiece.
lAi GIVE me half peck"
"a ''Thatu he fifty cents"
- "AI right"
The apples were put in a paper sack
nd deposited in the basket, paid for and Mr.
10 McSwat went home.
my In the privacy Of his own home Mr.
ay McSwat proceeded shortly afterward Z
- open the sack Of apples.
-. Don't get them mixed, Lobelia," h'
H. said magisterially. These are Missouri
en- redstreaks.
his Il can't see any difference, Biliger
let. They both look like Ben Davis apples"
That's all you know about apples,
ne rtblTlEua Adsck fDuf - e on tLiio OAs
Ever see a nicer specimen
e. He took a bite of it, threw the appl
~ under the table and tired another.
sott, IF these are Missouri redstreaks." b
oble said, A. the second one followed the fir
j in and struck the floor somewhat harde
wed Il don't want any more Of them"
q 70 aBilliger.- announced Mrs. McSwa
/ o who had been making some investigi
tons on her own account, there isn't
- IN particle Of difference between these an
Tired the apples | got this morning. We
ting you careful 70 ask the grocer wheth
with they were Ben
rsos "You think you're smart, don't your
here you don't let any grocer work off
y % lot Of cork apples on you, by jocks?7
suy. Il reckon they'll cook. won't theyY'
turn retorted. same as the OtbersT
my Yes, but they'll have 10 be kept &c
this arate, you know" rejoined Mrs. N
lings Swat sweetly. 81 don't think they a
these quite as good as
uPon Mr.. McSwat arose in his wrath.
I" ~ ~ emptied those two sacks Of apples in
cheS the basket, carried the gorgeous fr1
raue out TO the alley, poured it into the 81
barrel, and made his way by a deviC
nent, route TO a grocery store on anoti
which block.
rest. "Got any applesY'
con "Yes."
ie gu what kindy'
Missouri
,lemp Missouri be hangedf' bawled Mr.. J
abso- Swat, with blood in his eye.
v and "Yes sir" answered the frights
Imph- clerk
errors, Look here, young manF deman'
ana Mr.. McSwat Have you got any g
:. s .s1 uine Missouri applesT
,b.hIs "Y-yes, sir"
En-. "What do you call themT"
"Some of ems pippins and some
ems redstreaks and some haip't got
name. They're just apples, you kno
"a, N. "What do you call your best Miss
$3.50 apples? Your very best, recollect."
lcoun- "Our best Missouri apples, sir,
u .ne called the Ben Da"--
,'' keep emf roared Mr. McSwat.
"Yes, sirr' promptly acquiesccd
boy, with his hair on end.
'Lobelia," said Mr.. McSwat NEE
onuoh about ten minutes later, "A he -
enei, into the kitchen, don't say anyt