The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-08
IRE MorHEa-1N.LAw IoKE.
A Good Word for Much-abused
Member of the Human Family.


Member of the Human Family.
BROOKLYN, n. Y. Feb. There is one
subject which have especially labored to
keep out of my public correspondence, but
/ have at last been obliged to succumb to the
force of circumstances. It is a subject
which appeals to me very strongly, and my
unwillingneSs TO touch IL has been caused bv
the knowledge Of my inability 10 properly
deal with it. Ii is the mother-in,
law question, very common and
hackneyed theme, and one which
always causes a laugh from the pit and gal
lerieS when facetiously msutioned in our
theaters or lecture halls. / do not think
that am an exception among women and
l can say that | never yet listened to one OF
these coarse and brutal Jokes without
metaphorically cuning the ears of both
author and actor. From time immemorial
the mother-in-law question has been one
sided and prejudged matter, and all women
whose children marry have been, according
to this universal standard, a prying, curl
Gus, mischievous and unreasonable set, en-
tirely unit to have a voice in the family
councils.
Up to the point of her children's marriage
a woman is often all that is edmirabie.
Her management has met with general ap-
prevail, and she is praised and respected for
patience which she has shown In the educa-
ton and training Of her family. Her
children are a credit to her it is said. After
while young man falls in love with her
daughter, or her daughter falls
IN love with young man, and
marriage after a longer or shorter
courtship-shorter generally-ensues. Then
the sweet, gracious, taotful, unselfish
mothers who, up to date, have had the we'll
hai at oh Inat, rfvN,. L. L.
become mothers-in-law members of that
whispering, sneaking, inquisitive, under
mining sisterhood, SO universally repro
bated, and, worse than this, are expected to
show no further interest in their
children. The husband, without the least
practical knowledge OF the constitution and
character OF the girl he has married, be-
comes domestic car, whose yea and nay,
she shall and she shall not, are to stand un-
oontradicted II the heavens fall. The
mother-in-law, poor heart-aching woman,
who remembers the typhoid fever or the
congestion OF the lungs, and who knows
that the skating pond or the ball may be
the death of the precious one whom she has
nursed and held closed TO her tender heart
year after year, must say nothing. The
young husband who knows Il all
prettiest," and that Is expected to
end the matter. l trust that none of
my readers will here rush to write me that
he or she knows many mothess-in~law who
are not so regarded. Thank heaven, so do
/. IL this we're not 30, | should feel as IL
this world were too full of heart-break to
be longer desirable as a place of residence.
/ know families where the mother-in-law is
the dearly loved mother and where the OBJ
noxious '1n-lsw" is never spoken or thought
of. But where there is one such happy ma
tron there are scores Of the other kind. l
know some men so thoughtful, so tender, 30
loving, so grateful to the mothers who have
made it possible for them to have such
sweet and precious companions, that they
cannot do too much to show their apprecia-
ton. But communities are not built of
such men, They are very rare.
To say that mothers-in-law are always
wise and agreeable, and all children-in-iaw
unwise and disagreeable, would be exceed
ingly foolish. | am acquainted with some
mothers-in-law whom ID would be kindness
to call crazy, so nagging and exasperating
are they. An angel from heaven would
scarcely undertake to live in peace
with them. They are tactless, crits
ical, quarrelsome and 1t is impossible
to get along with them. But these
are the exceptions aud not the rule For
many mothers, death would not have meant
so bitter and hopeless a separation as the
marriage of their children, and this is es-
pecially true of the marriage of daughters.
1t Is hard enough, anyway, but to have
man. a stranger, stalk in and ruthlessly
trample to pieces all the relations that have
made life so sacred and beautiful for both
mother and daughter. is to submit to tor
ture more agonizing than the rack could
ever be to the material body.
1t is a wicked, impious, awful thing TO
do, but it Is tune that women themselves
are held responsible for the unhappiness
which is 30 universal. The Biblical com
mand, so literally construed by husbands, to
"forsake father and mother aud cleave only
to him." ought certainly to be taken with
as many grains Of salt as the command to
give a coat as we'll as the cloak which is
asked for, or to turn the port cheek when
one has just receiveda blow on the stArboard
side. How anybody with agrain Of common
sense could believe that tender and
loving heavenly father could authorize
or inspire man to say that the mother who
bore the child, and by her counsel aud her
affection has brought MIN or her to man
hood or womanhood, should be thrown en-
tirely aside, blotted out because OF another
tie which cannot be more sacred than that
between mother and child, passes my COM
prehension. / never took the slightest stock
in that passage OF scripture, commonly
interpreted. do not know what 1t means,
but know that a good mother will desire
her daughter TO be a good wife, her son TO
be good husband. She will never fool
ishly interfere with anything that concerns
their relations
When say that mothers are greatly re.
sponsible for their own suffsrinRs, mean
not one thing, but a great many things, so
many that it would take book to tell them
all.
When mothers cease thinking that their
daughters must be married before certain
age or be hopelesslY disgraced, when they
faniliarize them with the exactions OF mar
ried life and the necessity OF a thorough
knowledge of the character of the man
whom they are attracted to, when they
prove TO them that unless they choose
wisely marriage will mean a tyrannical
husband and the loss of a mother, then there
wall be less heartache. One needs TO begin
early and to be instant Ia season and out
of season" That passage OF scripture | in
dorse without change or explanation, but to
cleave to a nan-and, perhaps. bad one
and forsake the loving. unselfish mother. is
to me as wicked as any crime-murder not