The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-19
THEPROPER WAY TO WED
BREEZY TABLE TALK ADO Ut MAR
RAGE, BY WOMEN.

]
ment Against Preparing beforehand.
Love Should Be the Tie That
Binds - Marriages Based on Any
thing Else a Failure-Begin at the
Beginning and Climb Upward.
BUTLER, Ga, Jan. 1.-THE ideas Of the
ante bellum time upon almost any subject
are strong and substantial. They are inter-
esting 10 the rest Of us, and are likew Sc
encouraging and instructive. IL was a
time, during their bringing up. when the
fttest survived Every tub stood ON its
own bottom and persons rose and fell as
they were worthy or worthless.
There were no luxuries 10 make men
effeminate. They had to inure to hard
ships and strike out from the shoulder
There was mighty little playing off,"
Around a neighbours fire the other day, a
party Of elderly women were discussing
various subjects when the subject of kissing
came up. The question was sked, "Do all
men kiss their wives before they marry
| themp
A lady, who should have known, because
she is long time married, said that she
knew she was as good as any other woman,
and she kissed her sweetheart often before
marrying him.
A KISS IS SACRED.
sit was sacred, though" she added. 81
knew we were to be married, and loved
him as well then, knew, as l should ever
love him after. The engagement
was on - In fact the we'd
ding day was announced. l
| ~. L
| was girl of II years, but knew what /
was doing. knew just as well that loved
him, ana that be loved me, as / knew
lived. We were too young to lay plans to
catch each other. even if we had been dis
posed" The conversation drfted on, and
was discussed pro and con. 1t was admitted
that there may be instances where men aud
| women marry without kissing. Such
| couples do not kiss after marriage. Some
times they marry for money, 8 metimes for
| position and sometimes match is made by
| parents; rarsly, in either case, is there one
bit OF making love; consequently there is
no affection, and ordinarily there will be
noSkssing. These are exceptions, however.
They are not the rule by any means.
The conversation was given a turn again
by a stanch old lady, who lived when
everybody married for love-" as she ex-
| pressed IT.
"If had to marry in this day and time,
| | might be more careful" she said, land
especially IL l was in love with full fledged
society man. Not that l would act differ
emily, if l were young again and married
my husban d, but people learn more as they
| grow older. and, as far as love is concerned,
they harden to it. They love less. after the
| first sweet love-time is over. People used
| TO marry, you know, when they were
! young-in the bloom of youth, so 10 speak.
The motherly old soul raised her cap and
cast her eyes around the room.
| TOO MUCH TINE FOR FIXING.
"We don't see it now. Everybody waits"
she continued, until they get better fixed,
| as they say. Everybody tries to have gay
time with everybody else, and this way of
above everybody, is thing Of the past"
she said, with curl of the lip. at is vul-
| gar in this enlightened age. If ANYBODY is
ia love now the thing to do is to hide it. If
| young man has sweetheart he must not
own her, and If young lady loves, she
must learn early to deceive society. No
body will have a great deal to do with her
il society finds 1t out, and her cake is
dough She's laid on the shelf. Then the
poor thing must pine away, as if she
cared for anybody but her sweetheart
This way Of mating of is out Of
fashion. It will not do any more.
Little innocent birds do that--people must
1
and nobody must know it, until the en-
gagement is announced. That is, when the
| bride is too busy to receive, and the young
man too closely applied to go among his
| friends"
She shook her head again, and pushed her
eye glasses up. 20, times are nothing like
they once were. They are terribly changed"
| Them she continued 1--WE married
because we loved. The man would say,
We will marry and be happy together
He didn't say wait until / get fixed up,
until make fortune on cotton, or make
on stocks, or until l own farm. He said
we will endure hardships if they come.
We will together make our fortune Now
let us look around u.s." she said, land half
of the old people we see made this sort Of a
contract. They are the happiest people in
this world, too. They may sit down and
tell how they braVed the tenn
pest of hardship, and how
they rode out the storm of fear. For my
part" she said, looking into the fire, ''for
my part should feel very small if I was
sensible that l contributed nothing to my
husbands prosperity. l should always wish
might have an opportunity to show him
that l was strong and wanted to help.
CAN'T FALL FROM THE BOTTOM.
again. when people start out just dry
so,' that can't have fall. They are al
ready at the bottom. How many nice
young men do we see who have made some
sort of preparation, as they call it, before
marrying, fall back lower than they began
A lot of things contribute to this. It may
be too much reservedness, caused by not
having to stir about in the beginning; it
may have been that the prepar alton of the
young man appeared greater than it was, or
it was that the wife believed she had 'mar-
ried more than, in truth, she had. When
this is the case there is remorse some where.
Either the young man is sorry he deceived
the girl, or she regrets that she married
him. Then the world turns its ewes
upon them. They are commonly discussed,
and banded about in plain manner And
whether there is real reason for it, or not,
people say, they we're too foolish to marry.
Every odY says right straight two fools
met and married
1.-The young man is oftener discouraged, or
cowed by such misfortunes, and it's ten to
one, be never rises
What would have been the result If love
aud courage had been the sole prompters of
the uniona If the young folks hadn't cared
'thrip' for the opinion of others, since
thoy got married. If they had respected
their vows, before they gave thought to
their preparation. tell you there would
have been no disappointment, no regrets,
no remorse.
, "There would have been preparation,
but it would have come later. 1t will not
be the man alone whose hands will be busy