West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1891-11-12
MR.. BOWSER.
Mrs. Bouser Tells OF His Alleged Al.
tack or Spinal Meningitis.


equaled by the manner in which he
suddenly goes all to pieces at the
slightest sickness. We have reg
ular programme at our house in
certain lines. ara subj ct to ner.
vous headaches. About once a fort.
night Mr.. Bowser comes home at
noon and finds me on the sofa with
my head tied up and my temples
throbbing rs il they would burst.
It's just the next thing to being
pounded on the head by war club,
and IL the house was on fire should
take my time about getting out.
and that without trying to save
anything except the camphor bot
tie. The programme then runs as
follows:
Enter Mr.. Bowser.
Hangs up his hat and overcoat.
Marches into back parlor, ev-
identity suspecting some calamity.
Stands and gazes at me as il |
were some curiosity. try TO smile,
but 1t ia a dead failure.
"liumph | Cholera, l suppose !"
"N-o." { Very fain.ly.)
'Yellow fever, then. | always
knew you'd have it -
mo. Only-only"
only smallpox. eh Nice thing
to bring into the house, isn't itV"
"Mr. Bowser, 1--we got one Of
my headachesp'
"O.o-o-h! Is that all Good
lands. but you gave me scare |!
Headache ? Humph ! II l was a
woman Of your size and age I'd
show little spunk."
"But it's dreadful -
"Bosh {! There's nine parts Of
imagination 20 one part headache. j"
And he goes slamming around
the house and whistling away, as if
every sound did not fall on my
skull like blow OF II hammer.
Coming to dinnerI"
"Mercy. but | can't eat."
Cant, ell ! Well, if you will
let your Imagination run away with
you in this manner | can't help it.
Be more left for me to eat, you
know"
He looks in as he is ready to leave
the house and says
III you ale down town this af-
tornoon come in. Bye bye, boobyp
We have another programme
one which is followed when Mr..
Bowser comes home with u bilious
hoad'che. If | happen to be look
ing when he gets of the car block
away | can tell what is the matter.
lie comes dragging his legs, head
down and eyes half closed, and
meet him at the door and inquire !:
"Mr. Bowser, have you been ~ n
over on the street ?"
"W-worse'n that - he gasps, as
he sits down on stair step and
holds his head in his hands.
Have you been shot at or stab.
bed by rufiln ?"
Would that | had I"
"Mr. Bowser, what awful, aw.
fol thing has happened ? Answer
me ut once -
T've got one Of those Internal
headaches -
1000 h ! Is that ali? Why, 7
didn't know but some awful thing
had h, opened. Well, dinner IS
ready, and I've got pork and beans,
as you requested" "
"P-pork and b-beans My soul,
woman, but how can you talk
p-pork and b-bcans TO % dying mani'
"Only headache ! Why, what
should a great big man like you
care about = headache? Come to
dinner"
But he staggers into the sitting
room and falls sideways on the
lounge, and utters a groau which
arches the cats back up to an angle.
"Mr Bowser, these headaches
are all imaginary" / observe as I
take him by the legs and swing him
about 90 hat no rests on bis back.
400 oh 2"
"If vas a man Of your size and
age I'd show little spunk."
30 q oh How can ] staEd IL -
"Well, there'll be more left for
me to eat. Better lie as quiet ss
you can"