The Iola register., 1891-07-17

minent peril, show how It was not donef
To highly imaginative juryman this
course might not be necessary, though
the quicker way, but all jurymen are
not blessed with vivid imaginations. II
is the witness rather. whose surfeit Of
ability often finds home in .the bump
of his imagination.
At all events it seems In harmony
with this theory that in the case Of the
music dealer and the boarding house
keeper the subject in controversy was
produced i'd open court to sibg Its own
song TO the defendant and bis boarders.
Like most wound up witnesses the box
started at the beginning.
Many a good story Is utterly spoiled
by starting in at the wrong place. as
the most casual court room loafer Will
testify. And then the tone, the pitch
of voice. the attitude we're all natural II
not dignified. II seemed quite at home
in s'home, sweet home," and his honor
heaved a sigh at the conclusion, while
the musis dealers face beamed with the
radiance OF an assured victory.
''The Bogie Man" brought smile to
even the boarding house keepers face.
tinged with little sense of regret that
he had so bitterly complained OF the
instrument now so happily and so ef-
fectivelv yindicating itself before that
palladium of English liberty, the Court
Queens Bench. All went we'll
enough until the musical witness, rat
thing away in court of justice, without
the solemnity OF an oath and without
single interruption, struck the fatal
La Gitana-" The Judge looked unus-
ually wise under his horse hair wig as
the not.,s from the machine pattered in
this to him unknown timel upon the
roof Of his unmusical soul. And when
the little "cluck" in the machinery in
dicated that there was no more of the
faultless tune and whose only ambi-
guilty was in its naming on the cylinder,
all felt that the witness had been true
TO itself and to the cause OF blind jus
tfce. -
Il could do no more except to repeat
itself. which, upon being helped back 10
the beginning of the incriminated tune
or waltz it did. Alas, with courts as
with other people, how often seeing
when they see not, and hearing they do
not understand"
Unhappily. in this case, his honor had
no ear for music. He said. in substance,
that he had no more ear for music than
turnip, and that he couldn't tell
"God Save the Queen" from ASK Po-
liceman." He was still psrturbed with
doubt as to whether the tune had been
accurately named. Whereupon resort
was had 70 That most confeunding and
conflicting OF all evidence, the expert.
The music dealer, called a musical di-
rector" of long and varied experience.
Solemnly he took his stand in the wit
ness box with the score Of the disputed
ar in front of him. The crank was
again adjusted to the self pressed music
box and again the start was made on
the tune upon the proper naming OF
which hinged the result OF the legal
sauabble. Hardly had the sweet notes
of this boarding house piano ceased
reverbating through the court room
when the expert said, "Yes, that is
"LaGitana" note for note. The instru-
ment plays it faultlessly." surely the
case seemed clear enough now. Not so
however, for the defendant called to
the stand lady expert of equal pro-
ficiency in the divine art, who, also
holding in her hand a score OF the
same now amiliar tune from the music
boxes stand point-swore positive that
the box did dIdI not play 'LaGitana'r
at all. but only waltz very distantly
resembling certain bars and passages
in it. The disgusted box upon this
played over and over again the unap-
preciated boarding house tune, sticking
steadily TO its version: and 1t confd not
be disturbed by cross examination, the
uIatter now rested with the municipa.
Judge. And so he guessed it off-how
could he d: otherwise, since he would
not know ''LaGitna" if he met il in the
road?-in favor OF the plaintiff. Thus
the box that had behaved so we'll on
the witness stand and hal ground out
over and over again tune which, bv
the expert evidence, was and was not
'IaGitana," or rather the label or pro-
gram On the boxes lid, had been viudi
Gated. OF course there followed the
usual notice for a new trial and notice
of appeal. and there are others besides
the defendant and his boarder, who
still believe that her music box an
nounces on its lid and plays another in
its interior, the judgment of an Eng
lish court to the contrary notwithstand-
ing.
The case OF my namesake decided in
the court OF Queens bench and before
special jury only Yesterday, wherein he
was knocked out the first round by wit
nesses not less intelligent and convinc-
ing than the music box. / must re-
erve for onother time. W. L. p.