davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Telegram-herald., 1891-07-17
~Bew to ser- All ssfn Dssesses.-

Simply apply "sv.YSEs OINTMENT.
No internal medicine required. Cures
letter. eczema, itch, all eruptions on
the face. hands. nose, etc, leaving the
SKIN clear. white and healthy. Its
great healing ami curative powers sTc
possessed by 10 other remedy. Ask
your druggists for swAYSE's OISr-
sreNr -
Telegram-herald., 1891-07-17

Peckhsm's Group Remedy cures
vBo0plBg ceega.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
A STATE TALK.


George III Lord North
scene-The throne room, buckingham
palace.
George say, North, there is one
CALLING feature about this declaration
Of Independence.
North-There are several, your
majesty, but TO which do you refer?
George-To think that our great
language should be used in framing
such document.
North-Yes, your majesty. / does
seem like sticking out ones tongue at
ones self. l think we might fix the
matter to please your majesty, how
ever.
George-In what way?
North-We might have it translated
into French.
George-That would but be begging
the question. l have q scheme that is
better.
North-And that?
George-Let's talk about the weather.
AN HISTORICAL CoILoQUY.
The Russian Bear-What's the mat
ter, Leo? Your whiskers are all
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

IT isn't attracting great deal of pub
lie attention just now. but the work Of
surveying for the proposed ;nter-con-
tinental railway is going on IN South
America and is progressing favorably.
Chief Engineer Skunk reports that two
civilian parties who have been survey
ing the country in the vicinity of Quito,
Ecuador, are well advanced in their
work. Every possible facility has been
afforded to the surveying parties 10y the
government officials of Ecuador, who
are said to display the most enthusiastic
interest in the undertaking. Evidently
the Southern republics like the prospect
OF more intimate connections with their
big sister of tie North.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
FOR THE FOURTH.
Nr. John kenariek Bangs Presents . PsA-
stable Stew Of Wisdom. FstriossskA
sad fua-r The story of a. In
tense Patriot
rcoPYRIcH1. 1911
SQUIBs AND SCISSORS

SQgIBs AND SCISSORS
Ir is no, known where the thernom-
eter stood on the Fourth Of July, l7T6,
bar il Is an historical fact that John
Bull and the AngloInaniacs fonnl this
country pretty hot on the day in ques-
tion.
BAsEBALL in its present perfect form
has come into being only lately, but
along about 1Ts9 Uncle Sam made base
hit, and Johnny Bull scored one Of the
most luminous home runs on record
He wasn't an idiot,-only the dude son
OF an Anglomaniac. He had heard of
shooting firecrackers. but he didn't
know how they did it. lie put his pack
as target, and tried to shoot them
with his bow and arrow. IL was very
English. but not entirely successful, and
now he wonders why the neighbors'
daughters giggle as they pass by.
THEY say George Ill VAS imbecila
regular royal gilly.
'Tsas Washington prepared the PHI
That knocked his Iglcts silly.
Ir is curious fact that the best flags
for sidewalks are made of freestone.
This is only natural. since in this eoun-
try they have to be An 'ican flags
LAMB is the poet of spring. Crabbe
the poet of early summer. but for July
Fourth there is none SO prominent as
Burns. This joke is copyrighted.
GEORGE WASHINGTON couldn't help
making noise in the world. lie was
the Pepper of his Country.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
EDITORIAL EXCERPTS.

The latest voice from the West says:
michigan is for Blaine" OF course.
Who isn't?-Brooklyn Times.
Itmatters little when the Squawbuck
legislature adlourns. Public indigna-
ton and disgust at Its infamies reached
the climax long ago.-Saglnaw Courier
Herald.
Free trade, free silver and free
whisky IL the platform of the Iowa
Democracy. The freemen of Iowa,
with the free ballot, will free the State
OF such rule.-Toledo Blade.
Over 400 young men and women
graduated from the Chicago high
schools yesterday. 1t is to be hoped
that this graduated 400 will be always
supporters of the common school sys-
tenn OF the United States, the one great
est conservator of our American insti-
tutions.-Chlcago Journal.
The majority against Mckinley last
fall, in a district which had been gerry.
wandered to throw him in a minority
OF 2O00. was only 302. Figure up the
State of Ohio IN "A proportsonate ratio
and you can come pretty close tn tell
ing what will be the Majors majority
AOt 'VftthOAs NVt tR AAsh,'tApts
The Democrats are in qusndary a.
10 where to hold their next nominating
convention, but IL doesnt make much
difference what place they select. If
they want to hold IN some place where
the people are unanimous they might
select a city in Wales or England. The
people are greatly interested in Demo
cratic success over there.-Bay City
Tribune.
The Senate amended the House Joint
resolution providing secompils-
ton of Michigan and i,s resources"
limiting the cost 20 25cents per volume.
IL IL was desired 10 kali this bill the
amendment is certainly an effective
means To that end. No man can posi-
blv estimate the cost of compilation
with Sufficient accuracy, and the secre-
tsry of state = not likely to undertake
the work with the possibility Of DIS
covering himself outside the limits of
the act when the compilation is accom-
plished. Lansing Republican.
Nunthe should be expelled hecsuse
he demanded and got $50 10 pay Doyle
for services rendered in passing the
Irouwood charter. Doyle should be
expelled because Munthe put him in
the way OF agreeing With the Gronwood
COMMITTEES 80 get their charter through
the House, and then accepted $50 from
Munthe IN consideration for work done.
Munthe and Doyle should he expelled
l,eeause they took IFonwood's money
for legislative work and spent il in
riotous living. bringing disgrace on the
Hesse ef which they sre menheTs.-
Detroit Tribune.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
THE PRIDE or TIE YoukrH.

~ have so heard. father" returned
the lad cheerfully. Indeed, have
heard my grandfsther-who, us you are
aware, is reckoned the oldest inhabi-
tant of our beautiful little village-I
have heard him tell Of the way they
used To celebrate Fourth of July when
he was a boy in l7G0-how they would
rise ut dawn and salute the name of the
president of the United States with a
salvo of putty blowers; how later in
the day they would burn the figure OF
William the Conqucror in efiigy, feed
ing the flames with sundry barns and
toolhouses, as it happened to be con-
venient, and how when evening came
they would gather at the village gro
Gerry and set of giant crackers beneath
each others chairs, while grandma. who
was at the time young unmarried
woman, played YanlseeDoodle andWhite
Wings upon the harp over by the sand
bin in which her father-the grocer
kept his sugar"
Exactly, my dear little son. You are
wise beyond your eight years, and l
think shall ask your mother. if you
are good little boy. to give you ten
grains of quinine before you go TO your
dreams tonight. Blu. | see that You
understand something of the possibili-
ties of the day that is soon to dawn.
Here"
And at this point Mr.. Higgins put his
hand deep down into his pocket and drew
forth bright silver dollar. ''Hcrc," he
repeated, sis dollar for you and wish
TO expend it in showing to the world
that have inculcated the principles of
patriotism into your system; that the
capsules of instruction that you are
daily swallowing contain the germ OF
patriotism. which will some day make
of you q citizen of whom his country
may well be proud. Take this dollar
and remember that I expect you to use
it wisely. will you to whoop and yell
as much as you possibly can all through
the day. l shall feel hurt if when night
comes and nature covers the earth with
her inlky pail your fingers are not done
to turn and your eyebrows gone be-
yond adventure-indccd. my son,
may as well be plain. IL l find to-
morrow night that you need less than
quart of arnica to soothe your wearied
fingers shall feel that you have not
obeycd my instructions and on the
morning of July 5th shall chastise you
within an ell of your existence"
Here the father paused, and the son
promised that it should happen as he
desired, and, taking the dollar, left the
room.
In moment the father called the lad
once more to him and said: "Janesey,
do you know the new barn that Mr..
ThomplSins has placed in the west yard
so that it interfcres with our view Of
the parade ground?"
''Yes, father"
"Wcll, remember to be very careful
with your crackers and powder when
near our neighbor's property. 1t might
catch fire, you know"
Eyes, father. And is that alp"
"Yes. Kiss me and good night, and
er-by the way, Jamesey, if Mr.. Thomp-
kins' barn should burn down do not be
afraid to tell me. ] shall not scold you
and children should honor and not fear
their parents. Good night"
And the pair separated.
Mr.. Higgins wns filed with regret
la.er TO learn that Mr.. Thompkins' barn
was not insured.
JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE South is blooming" The n. Y
Tradesman's report of the new indus
tries established in the Southern States
during the second quarter of 1891
shows a total of S92, against = total OF
the second quarter of 1890 Of 1850 and
the second quarter of 1889 OF 55S. The
Tradesman then says: "While the num-
Der OF new industries established for
the second quarter of this year is not
up to that of the corresponding period
Of 1890, still the industrial interests of
this section are in very healthful con-
dition, and n noticeable feature for the
past three months has been the amount
of capital invested in the enterprises,
indicating that the new industries now
being put into operation in tie South
ern States are larger and will be moro
thoroughly equipped"
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
They Arc Different.

''Thcy are an awfully patient people
IA this town." he was saying to an ac-
quaintance in Park row car.
I'm what rcspect?' queried the other.
"Why, I've been on these horse cars
fifty times when a team got in the way
and bothered 'cm half TO death. / ex.
pectcd To see the driver hcave brick.
bat, but he always took IL as easy as
grease"
Yes; I've seen the same thing"
''Do you suppose we'd stand that in
our town? Not much. Why, was on
the bus going over TO the depot the
other day when we met Hank John.
stou lcadin his red cow To the river
Git of the face of the globcr hol.
lerod BID Haynes. the driver
Il won'tr says Hank
with that Bill put the horses and
wagon right at him. The cow was
knocked into Joe Turner's hedge fence,
with her neck broke. and Hank got 50
mixed M with nbe of fore wheel that
be had 10 have four doctors piece him
together. M Quad. in ". Y World.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

singed and your tail looks like CATO
nine tails.
The British Lion-I got fooling with
the American eagles fireworks. That's
all.
AT THE INDEPENDENCE BALL
Miss Hollyhock-Just look at that
Miss Barrows--her face is covered with
powder.
Mr.. Plunkc.t-In honor Of the day
presume.
AT THE LODGE.
Meeker-Where is Bronson tonight?
Stivers-Home.
Meeker-Isn't he coming?
Stivers-No. He's got TO have his
face amputated. Put a firecracker in
his mouth thinking it was cigar. Lit
II. Usual result.
Orator OF the Day-It is q glorious
event we celebrate. Do you know that?
Why are you here to-day, do you know2
Boy in the Audience-Yss; we thought
you wasn't coming.
SRAND DAY.
Mr.. O'Toole-Oi tell yez The Earth
of Julu is tn CRATE daa, Schneider.
Schneider-Yah. vhe hnf reason to
be proudt ohf Chorch Washington.
M. Pierrot-Oui, Oui. I am vaire
pr-r-rroud TO be ze Americans.
Sig. Friki-Si. Eet Is da fine ting.
Even da monkhe lika da contrce. Ch?
Monkey-Wee, wee.
GREAT DAY.
Mawson-Hello. Potthtar. Did you
celebrate the Fourth?
Potthtar-Yes. Began with an ex-
piosion at breakfast because the coffee
was cold. Got blown up by my wife foi
burning hole in the parlor carpet in
the afternoon and in the evening the
gardener got drunk and had to get out
my fireworks 10 put him out
THE PRIDE OF YOUTH.
First Boy-We had an elegant time
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

"hlrh the exception OF certain trivial
inaeeuraeaes. ny SON." resumed Mr.
Aigginss you are perfectly correct.
and were | your instructor instead OF
occupying the wholly subordinate post
Of paternsl parent, Should mark you
tso out OF q PoS ssole ten, and request
you - remain with me an hour or two
longer at the close of the usual scho-
lastle exercises But 20 return 70 our
muttons, are you aware that il is tho
habit of the truly good and patriotic citi-
zen Of this glorious repu Aie 10 celebrate
this great day ia our history with be-
fitting eenenony?'
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE Iowa Democratic pIa tform has
the true ring -glittering generalities.
IL denources the Mckinley bill and
ssys Il increases the cost - the neces-
saries of ife. IL the Republicans de-
mand a bill of particulars before going
20 the jury, the people of Iowa. the
Democrats viii simply ignore the de-
mand. What necessaries Of life are in
creased IN COST
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE Lawrence, Kan, Journal says,
eff there is one man in the country
the Democrats are afraid of, il Is James
O.. Blaine" And that fear is likely to
increase rapidly during 1892.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
WHO'S OLD LEEY


SIMPLY apply "swaYSE's OINTMENT
No internal medicine required. Cures
letter. eczema, Itch. sll eTBptons On
the face, hands, rose. etc, iesvTng The
ssIa clear whTte snd healthy. It's
great hsalang snd curative powers are
possessed hy no other remedy. Ask
voaF dfugsIsts fer SnAYxEs ONT
.xr~r -
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

"WArER. water everywhere and not
a drop to drink" Such was the cry of
the Ancient Mariner. and such is the
cry of every citizen of Grand Rapids.
A man triflcs with ms health when be
takes a draught of city water.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

A VERY brilliant idea has struck a
certain reform organ in Ohio and 1t
wants an investigation of the ways and
means by which Senator Sherman made
his money" Now bunch Brice along
with him and let the music begin.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

PooE men cannot afford to have the
expensive filters and purifiers that their
wealthier neighbors have, so let them
demand today that the city shall fur
nish them with pure water.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

OWING 10 an unprecedented use of
reform issues, during the years 1901 |.
the supply has become seriously Grip
Piled. Any one having an issue fit 10 bo
used ct long or short range, from this
time until after the end of the political
campaign of 1902, can readily dispose
of the same, at a remunerstive price,
by calling upou or addressing IF.
Homer Hosiord, Secretary. etc. De
troit. Mich"
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
GUS one.

SENATOR CARLISLE says "any honest
and capable Democrat can be elected in
1892" But the Senator will have to
"catch the rabbit first, before he makes
the ME -
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

Dip you ever notice how interesting
aie the want" columns in daily pa
per? Keep watch of them in the TELE-
CRAM-HERALD and you will often find
something of special interest TO your
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

SENATOR PETER says that the AL
mighty is with his party. We do not
wish to criticize the company He keeps,
but We submit that the charge is serl-
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

EVERY minute OF the day the United
States collects $3.50 and expends si6l.
That isn't the kind OF taking out OF the
meal tub that soon reaches the bottom.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

For house TO live IN. This year have
half paid for cottage, with money,
which, before ] used sulphur Bitters in
my family, was paid 10 the doctors and
the druggist. They cured my wife of
Female Weakness.-W. r. sampson.
Salem. Mass.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE United States Treasury officials
estimate that the total receipts from
customs for the fiscal year ending with
this month will be about Is, 900 900 less
than for the preceding fiscal year. For
two-thirds of the month of June there
has been falling OF of about i,o00,-
900 in the receipts from customs at the
port of New York. where about two
thirds of the total customs revenues a-e
collected. A statement made up at the
Treasury Department gives some inter
esting statistics showing the medium IN
which payments OF duties have been
made at New York. from which it ap.
pears that the bulk of the payments
for the first twenty days in June last
year were made in gold certificates,
which formed 94.s per cent. of the re-
ceipts, as against 1872 per cent. in June
this year. In the present month 42.S
per cent. OF the duties were paid in
United States notes, 26.7 per cent. III
Treasury notes and Is per cent. IN silver
certificates. Only o. per cent. was
paid IN gold and Oh per cent. III silver
coin.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

WHy are the promises of Democrats
not ike themselves2 The former are
usually unfulhlled and many OF the
latter often filled full.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

A PEARL button factory has been
started at Eau Claire, Wis. That is bet
ter than 10 have 10 III Austria.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

BREAD IS the staff OF life and water
Is life itself. Let US have II pure.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

Our in Kansas they call the leaders
OF the Alliance Sidewalk farmers"
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

WILL this week become famous as
the last Of the squawbuck legislature
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

Don't disgust everybody by hawking.
blowing and splitting. but use Dr. Sage's 8
tstarrh Remedy and be cured.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

SENATOR JOHS SHERMAN Is not ready
Just yet TO take his farewell tour.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

REMEMBER that your vote may de-
eide the question whether Grand Rap
ids IS to have pure water.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

The Pennington air ship IS IN Bur
lington. Ia, but it didn't fly there.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

PARSELL will soon visit Chicago
Pretty soon TO he meditatng divorce
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

To the ycunx face PauonI's Complex
icn Fowler gives fresher charms. % the
cid renewed yeuth. Try It
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

DEMOCRATS dsnonnce Mckinley bail,
bat respect Bill Mckinley.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

Tie attempt 70 reduce oav enoymous stock
betoxe our ANNUAL INVENTORY
meets a0zh gratifying results. THIS being the
last 7oeek Of ouy great sale aoe shall o6ey
hlrkhey reductions ON several lines Of goods
10 elose them 0ut entirely. Look ovey the
list and note prices.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

wYoAlsa Is almosta a state.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
AZ rvrwvsr rtrrrcr.

''wv boy SAID Mr. Higgins. Tire emf
rent patriot 20 his son on 'he eve Of In
dependence day, tomorrow Is The
Fourth n July. Do you know what
that mesns2"
YES. sir returned the boy "Tbe
Fourth ~ Julv wss tse das IN ifaa vhoa
Tho-1ss Jeferscn discovered sle United
Stases@
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THIS i the DAY shea the citizens OF
GEanc Esplds are "a decide = momen-
toas question. VIII they decide against
Their real interestsy Viii they vote 10
suit some prejudice Or viii they 20
10 the polls impressed with the import
anee of The question 10 DC determined
and deposit their ballots intelligentlyg
We believe the electors OF the city real
izs the importance of the special cleo
ton, We believe they understand no.
vital 10 their Interests Is pure and
wholesome water supply, bat the real
danger today is that many will let the
election 20 by default aud stay away
from the polls. That IS wrong. Every
man should come out Pure water -
more important than the election
OF officers No one will defend the sup
ply We have at present, as NJ for cul-
mary purposes or any other household
use, and no one Will deny that some
thing better is needed. Now let every
man come out aud register his deter
mlnation that We shall have better wa
ter.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
Az INTENSE PATRIOT.

on the Fourth. NY papa burnt his eye
brovs off.
Second Boy That's nothin'.
Nv paua's house Cot burned down and
there wasn't no insurance only .
rxur*x-aae
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE Louisville Courier-Journal has
Mysteries because Mckinley, when talk
ing Of reciprocity. failed to state that
his bill. az originally prepared. had no
reciprocity IN II. Well. what Of IT.
Everybody knows. Mckinley included.
that Blaine was the foremost champion
Of reciprocity. When Mckinley and
Blaine came together each learned
something Of the other Neither had
ms own way entirely and the country
got the benefit Of the bralns Of both.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30

THE Buffalo Times suggests chance
for Gen. r. p. Butler 10 show his
patriotism. Il says; "Let him send bis
entire stock of coniscsted New Orleans
spoons to Secretary Foster for coming
into standard silver dollars. Contribu-
lions Of silver in any and al forms are
respectfully solicited by the treasury
department. for the necessities arising
from the legislation Of billion ton
gress." The only notable contribution
Butter has ever male for the benest Of
another, is i5As votes IN New York n
pull Cleveland out OF the soup. To be
sure, IL vas rot a voluntary eontfssu-
ton. bat rather forced losn, st.ll ne
ulsde .
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
lily white Ftour
Il made from the choicest wheat

"Go TO Chicago via c. 4 W. M
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-30
AT THE INDEPENDENCE BALL.

Miss Hollyhock-Just look at that
Miss Barrows--her face is covered with
powder.
Mr.. Plunkc.t-In honor of the day l
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-09-01

The Sscret Of Thtir Graceful Galt,
Boston olobc.l
1t has been noticed and remarked
how gracefully women walk Of late !;
their gait is sweepi"g and long, and
they seem to carry themselves better.
There is an air OF untrammeled grace
and freedom III their movements, and
the secret Of it all is they wear no
petticoats.
The frou.frou of snowy lace that
one sees peeping from beneath dainty
skirts is only q biz Of harmless de.
ception in tho shape Of 4 ruffle sewed
in tho bottom Of the dress.
1t is almost impossible for . woman
to walk we'll with a mass Of confinir 2
skirts bu"gled about her hips Ift'4re
is any grace in her gait it Is lost in
the f"l.is Of cloth. At last tho odious
petticoat has been cast aside.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-09-01

The record shows the numb-,
Of immixrante arriving it the United
States for the year ending June 80 to
have been 555. 1876, or 1O4,2O5 more
than in the previous year. IN fact this
number is greater than for any similar
period sinos 1888. l, seems. therefore,
that the more recent enactment OF
laws prohibiting certain kinds Of immi>
frsn's--such ~ pauprrs, the criminal
GLASSES and contract Iabor-hss not,
a. was thought BY some, resulted in
restricting immigration. The demand
Of this country for wider legislation
whlch will restrict immigration has not
thu. far been he~ded; but if propo,-
tionate ratio OF increase to that noted
In the figures continues, such leRisla.
ton cannot be very long deferred.