Telegram-herald., 1891-06-09
0F LOVE AND MARRIAGE
The AAN sssso WAs ENGAGED A.
MS LiFE.

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We have al read II tae gent1xnan
vso was enxHeed 70 Do married al his
hrs and died bachelor, borazs<s, As 10
STAGED "A answer to inqsnrfng frssods. il
no sSsosAli De married there woald be no
wtess 10 go and spend the evening"
Now the q2scioa Is. was this man
ws-r than men in general, OF was he
very foolish, Dhd he miss al the quiet
and coxy delights 81 domestic ffs-soane-
body to fetch ms shippers, and nurse his
gr1ppr, and have bright room and warm
welcome for him when he came home
from the ofs,e, and get only Whimsical
ida N the place OF them, or did he es-
cape al tho fret and worry Of too closs
prpp6uE1sty. and the miserable feeling
q not besng able 10 get away from what
enoee- longU wHhes 70 resainl
Wen the xnswer b thss query is. He
escsVpd tho evils and did not attain the
BLESSINGS. AATi.eeuny be counted as
eithsr heaven or he'll. but betrothal il
that trtween ccndhtion called puryatory,
and although one may be very rnuch In
hurry % get out Of purgatory into
heaven, one would De 10th 70 exchange
1t for hell And that ugly word reminds
mo Of a remarkable book called Let
ters from Hell, which / read many years
ago.
Tho view OF that place OF torment
which struck me most forcibly was the
enforced comranionship with persons
yoo no longer loved. and the necessity
" pursuing occupations once very alb
sorbing, but now odious. Does not that
description tit in with the idea of an i'll
assorted union. and if that is really hell,
do we not often seq it begun upon earth,
And il this view Is correct, of course
the reverse should also be, and we should
see the other unions whose perfect har-
mouy and bliss give an image Of heaven
on earth. No doubt there are such, but
fear they are more rare, or at any rate
less conspicuous. than the other, and GER
tainfy do not furnish as much material
for the pen Of the satirist or the pencil
Of tho caricaturist. Now. why is this?
Many persons, at least in our own
country, marry for love, or at least from
a mutual fancy and sympathy which
they mistake for love. In many cases
the sympathy IS not very deep, nor the
fancy very permanent, but at any rate
tho two people really believe that mar
riage with each other is going TO lead to
Lifelong happiness-andi it doesn't. Why?
Well, the great reason, it seems 10
me, Is because in small natures and
shallow hearts the only strong and en-
during love is the love Of Self, and as
soon as the outside fancies come in con-
fiict with this real passion they go to the
wall The man sees pretty girl in the
freshness of her youth, and he wishes to
make her his own. She is spnghtly. full
OF fun, makes every effort to be agreea-
bic and amusing, and he feels that her
society Is rest and refreshment after
tho monotony Of business. Perhaps she
has or is TO have some money, aud this,
added To bis own, will keep comforta-
BILE home, where be can be free from the
annoyances of boarding house and the
ministrations Of a laundress.
Now al this, of course. is pure selfish
ness. The man has not once considered
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other party TO the bargain. and when he
finds, rs be win very soon after the we'd
ding. tha: these are quite as prominent
as his own, he is at first surprised, then
indignant. and in the end profoundly
dissatisfied.
Fer the bride may be, in her fashion.
quite As selfish as her groom. She has
married to gain independence and freer
ne Of money; TO have the position and
dignity of married woman; TO avoid
being an old maid, even for the sake of
smart wedding, paragraph in the
Newspaper, new clothes and wedding
presents; year later the clothes are out
Of fasinon, the presents an old story, she
doesn't find that she has any more, if as
much. independence and freedom as she
enjoyed while girl. and her husband is
far more requiring than her father and
mother used TO be.
So the poor little veneer Of mutual
fancy and sympathy they dignifed by
the name of love is worn off. the un-
shaken selfshness Of both man and WON
an comes boldly % the front, and the
man cynicaIly declares that marriage is
mistake and divorce a happy thought,
while his wife shakes her head and
gloomily advises her young friends to
know when they're well off, and not be
in too great hurry to get married.
| don't know that We can say marriage
destroyed the love in such a union. for
love worth speaking Of never existed
but certainly marriage dispelled the Do
lus'ou thss there was any love, and the
pretsnce socn vsnishes.
Look ut q higher and happier class Of
marriages. take one where both parties
really wish and intend to make the other
hEFy. b make sacrifices, and to study
the habits. TASTES AMI wishes Of thai
oth.1. where there is. 10 begin with, =
strong affection and the capacity for yet
deeper love. Such q couple marry and
rnsotr their vows in tones and with looks
into each others eyes that prove TO those
who look and listen that here is a true
love marriage, with every prospect Of
happiness and corstAncy.
A few years pass and how do you find
the welded lovers7 She has grown
rathwsr stout ia fcsrri ~ her dinner talks