Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-03-21
THOSE CHEAP SMELLS.
NuIsANcEs AND DEAD BEATS WHO
MASQUERADE AS MEN.

to be found IN pubic places, are on hand
at all state occasions, and atsevery notable
theatrical or public event, and apparently
enjoy most Of the privileges of the elect Of
the earth, After q time the feeling of curl
osity about them dies away and that Of
evaporation takes its place They pose as
men about town, FOUNDERS" gentlemen Of
leisure and the like. Everybody knows that
they are penniless, yet they live on luxu.
ries. 1t is the cheap swell who stares wom-
en- out OF countenance at the theatres, who
infests the shopping streets in the early
part Of the day, and gives his more sub
stantial and hard working fellow citizen
an immense amount Of annoyance by his
arrogance and assumption in general
There are two general classes Of the cheap
swell in New York One is composed OF
the silly and pretentious young men who
pose to crafty an intense ambition and
who fancy that they deceive the world by
their society airs; the other is the type
of gaudy swell who uses his flashy attire and
assurance as the means Of making a living.
The source of the incomes ofmany of these
men Of sham and imitation is often com.
mented upon. The majority Of them have
no incomes at all, and they do not need
them, for they do not spend any money.
They keep up the semblance of life of
leisure and extravaganza without carrying
it out in the slightest degree.
ONE OF rHR MILD TYPE
A typical case Of this sort comes to the
writer's mind For nearly two years he
WAS constantly running across a tall and
sallow young man, who always betrayed
an air Of intense hauteur. and exhibited
all the signs Of the world Of cheap swell
dom. His manner was supercillious and
austere. lie was always to be found in
Delmonico's just before and just after din
ner, and he WAS a prominent figure in the
theatre Hobbies. Whenever women Of par.
ticular attractiveness came along he stared
at them with an air Of advanced imperti-
hence. Occasionally he could be seen stand
ing up at the rear of a theatre, and between
the acts he was invariably TO be. found
stalking glOomilyup and down in the most
pretentious Of the neighboring cafes smok-
ing a cigarette but never buying anything
to drink. After the opera be was always
TO be found in the Thirty-ninth street cor.
rider, still smoking a cigarette and ap-
parently waiting for his carriage lie
moved about among people of wealth aud
high social standing, staring at the ladies
and arousing a universal feeling Of indig
nation among the men. He WAS always in
evening dress, and his attire was distinctly
thing in his appearance which caused OBJ
serving men instantly to set him down as
an outsider. He aroused a vague and I'M
defnable but pronounced feeling Of ex.
ASPIRATION in every decent man whom he
met, and yet he never did anything which
would warrant an observer in thrashing
him. For two years the writer encountered
this particular parsonage everywhere he
went in New York, until one day he saw
him in earnest conversation with o well
known halter on Broadway.
WHAT THE UNCLE SAID.
Inquiry from the halter revealed the
fact that the pseudo swell was his nephew.
and not particularly popular nephew at
that
HE has occupied = hall room in a Lex.
lngtOn avenue boarding house. ~ the halter
said as he took up the ease Of the young
man, for nearly three years, and, though
the cost Of the room with board is only s.
a week, he has managed TO run in debt TO
the landlady to the extent Of over 5000.
She Is a silly old fool Of a woman who
thinks the cub has rich relatives and
big expectations, and who actually goes
down into the kitchen after she has fin.
ished her work at II O'Clock at night and
irons his trousers and cleans his coats with
benzine for the following days parade He
poses in the boarding house as a society
man, always eats the regular dinner there
in evening dress, and then hurries out IN
der the pretense that he is going out to a
party, a reception or something of that
sort at the house Of some well known New
Yorker. For the rest of the night he
spends his time loafing about. He's well
Dir ssed loaier and nothing else. Occasion
ally he runs errands or makes himself use
full to a theatrical manager, and in that
way seCares admission 10 the theatre
Then again he will manage to worm him
self into the good graces of some young
man about town who is careless and anna
bic when he has been drinking little, and
out Of this acquaintance he always man
ages to extract something substantial
either credit at a tailor's or a loan OF one
sort or another. OF course he never thinks
Of doing any work"
This is fair type Of the cheap swell who
is not vicious. OF course there are many
grades of the species. but they have all
managed in one way or another TO adopt
such a peculiar look and manner that their
presence acts an affront to men.
THE VICIOUS SWELL
The vicious type Of the cheap swell is
more interesting because he not infre-
quently drifts from careless into criminal
relations with tradesmen, and occasionally
slips into schemes of trichery and fraud
Every attentive reader Of The newspapers
has from time to time run across the names
of men who have been sentenced to prison,
but had posed and been accepted by certain
people rs men OF leisure and social promi-
hence There is no denying the universal
gullibility Of mankind. A large, breezy
and genial man, clad in the most advanced
style of raiment, can go down to Wall
street and into the offices Of the most con
sentative merchants and secure cash sub
scrptions for any kind OF wildcat vent
ure. A modestly clad but thoroughly sub
stantial and reputable citizen could not
raise $50 in this fashion. A few days ago
two suits were brought and won against a
New Yorker who was always prominent in
club windows, who boosted not long ago
that &c had thirty -four complete suits Of
clothes made this year. Judgment was
secured by one of his creditors for 5000
and by another for 5000. Every man who
knew anything about New Workers was
aware that this particular swell had
been without any legitimate income for
years, and that he owed $50, 600 OF $4,000
In New York. Yet he succeeded in getting
credit in the course Of two months for
$4,000. Many other men In New York
could do the same, probably, If they had
thirtv-fOur er1its of clothes The attire OF