River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-13
PlTH AND POINT.


An Expert Opinion.-New Owner
tproudly showing horsel-"R Rather high
bred, don't you think. eh?" Horse Ex-
pert-''I-e-s, rather hybrid, that's a
fact
"A Misfortune. -Tom-'.H Have You
heard? Egotiste has become suddenly
dumb" Jaek-''Too bad. There will
be no one to sound his praises now
Yankee Blade.
"A Woman's Theoiy.-He Vaguely
Wonder what those strange cries
are, out toward the s1nset?" She liam
guidlyl-''Perhaps it is the mewing of
the eatboats."
Here are some of the best jokes in
my line that were written. even if they
didn't get into print, remarked the ice
man as he looked over his cash book
Washington Post.
On Tick.--.1ow are You getting
along nowadays, Niclzars?" Finely
I'm living like a prince so to speak"
Think You will ever be able to settle?''
Indianapolis Journal.
-Author-"These two books-I hard
" know what to call them-are waiting
for titles" Joblots-''Why don't You
you call them American Heiresses,'
then?''-Harvard Lampoon.
Woman is coming right along. 1t
is said that about one-third of them are
engaged in remunerative employment,
and no doubt many more are anxious
to he engaged.-Lowel Courier
-Sufel-''IIad my photograph taken
to-day" Rummel-"Sober?" Suffel-
''SOber? of course. sober" Rummel-
''Then You must have had it done by
the instantaneous process. ''-Fliegende
Batter.
Shelton say woman can not
keep a secret?" IIc-''Ies. that is nv
experience. Sie-'I have known of
a woman keeping a secret for an age"
He-"Yes; but it was her own age. -
n. Y. Herald
-Brigs-"You know that old suit of
mine? sold it for ten dollars to-day"
Griggs How nice" Brigs-No at
all. had to take the money and make
the first payment on my tailor's bill. =
Clothier and Furnisher.
July {. ~ What an unearthly
noise?" Its only the cracker bakery.
next door" DO you mean to say they
can't bake crackers without making all
that racket" Certainly not-fire
crackers. brooklyn Eagle.
Higher Game ~ Miss Palisade -
'"There goes Clara Slimson with that
Twillinger fellow. Isn't it Just like
her TO wear her best dreSs?" Miss SUM
mit-"Why you stupid. she isn't going
fishing for fish. Cloak Review.
Nothing said Mr. Tozer. sadly,
equals the sbepticism of married
women" You re mistalSe.l. my dear
answered Mrs. Tozer, there is one
thing" What is it, the credulity
Of the unmarried Detroit Trib-
une
Little Erother-"I say, sis, there's
n mouse in the room. - His Sister Jump
ing on a chair)-"Oh, horrors Where?"
Brother-'Right there near the rug
Sister-"Oh. dear. What shall do? /
can't see him." Brother walking away
or course you cant; he's inside the
cat"
He Expected Too Much.-"Why,
where's your ring?' said one telephone
girl to another. Aren't you engaged
to Charlie Slow Il used To tie, re-
piled the other, ''but he insisted on
kissing me through the phone. so l
had to ring off. '--Binghamton ;epub-
lican.
-Watts-''NYhat was the decision in
the case of that fellow supposed to be
crazy about baseball?" Potts-"They
concluded TO wait until the season is
over. 1t is difficult at this season of
year to distinguish a baseball maniac
from the ordinary crank '-Indianapo-
lis Journal
-''What makes you so late coming to
school this morning." asked Mr.. Leon
ard. teacher in one of the New York
public schools, to a tardy pupil. "They
arrested a burglar in Eifty-eigbth
street. and ma sent me to the station
house to see if it was pa" was the re
ply.-Christian ut Work.
Why Mr.. Calliper Has No Sawmill-
81 see by the papers, said Mr.. Calliper,
''that man in Storkyille Center, VT.
offers to bet sawmill against pair of
copper-tipped shoes that his seven-year-
old boy can open and shut more doors
in half an hour and slam them louder
than any boy of his ace east of the Mis-
sissippi river 7 should certainly take
that bet for my boy Clarence if / had
room on this place to set up a sawmill."