Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-08
WIFE AT THE DICTIONARY.
Husband Wanted to Know Little, But She
Much.

g" uCh
'Lobelia, is the dictionary handy p
Sitting in his cushioned armchair, with
his feet comfortably resting on another
chair, and a newspaper lying across his
lap, Mr.. Billinger McSwat addressed this
question to his wire, who sat near the
bookcase.
Eyes, " replied Mrs. McSwat
eff it isn't too much trouble | wish YOU
would look for the pronunciation Of the
word mirage.
Mrs. McSwat took down the dictionary
opened the bulky volume, consulted it g
few minutes, and said:
81 always thought the word 'licLen' was
pronounced 'litchen.' 'Liken, with the
i long has the preference y
81 knew that already. How about
'mirage'?"
Mrs. McSwart turned another leaf OF
two.
'In minute" she said. "While am
about it I'd like to find out the meaning OF
the word Iinoleum.
Hurry up, Lobelia.''
II am hurrying Let-me-see, Link,
'linnet,' linseed, lint, 'lien'-why, fit
isn't in the dictionary at all, Billinger.
Isn't that queer.
Yes, yes. How much longer are
you
'Just minute. | am coming to it.
Turning 40 CT fifty of the pages at once
she ran her eye rapidly down one
Of the columns, stopped, put her
finger on the place, looked up and oh.
served:
II didn't know there was such a word
as 'mathemeg,' did you?''
Never mind whether | did or not.
at means fish something like the cod
and it inhabits-''
"Who cares what it inhabits? Ifyou' re
not going to find that word mirage,
madam, just say so, and III hunt it ur
myself"
Just second,'' said Mrs. McSwat,
turning few more leaves. "Mispickel!"
First time | ever saw that word, any
how?"
you've turned too far over. Go back
few pages
at means an ore of silver Or grayish
white
You're too far over, I'll tell you! Turn
back leaf or two."
81 have. 'Misconstrue.' Accented on
the second syllable. | never knew that
before. Did you? always thought it
Was--"
Never mind what you thought ii
was. The word | want to know about
is"
Eyes, know, I'll find it in about a
there, I've turned too far back 'Mez-
za-yoice.' Pronounced media vocha.
Why don't they spell it that way I'd
like to know? All, here's a word | We al
ways wanted to know the meaning of!
'M6te."
Mr.. McSwat kicked over the chair his
feet were resting on.
Its a French measure of .2ngth.
BilIinger, equal to $3.50 English inches
Mr.. McSwat crumpled up the paper be
had been reading and threw it at the cat
With all his strength
''Or 80, 1868 American miles," continued
Lobelia serenely unconscious of her bus
bands fidgets. "It is Intended to be the
tenth nillionth part of the distance from
the equator to the
Good gracious, Lohelia Are you ever
| going to-"
North pole, as ascertained by actual
measurement of an arc Of the meriden
| What was the word you wanted me to fin0
! dear?'
Then Mr.. Blliger McSwat gave it up.
| He threw of his dressing gown, jerked on
his coat, growled ont something to the eff.
| feet that it was just like woman, and he
didn't care the ten-millionth part of a con
tinental ding-ding whether she looked it
UP or net, and then he kicked the cat clear
across the room and went out into the
back yard to cool of.-Exchange.