Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
Courted His Wife.
''I'll do it,


hook. and started home.
III do itr' he repeated TO him
self as he walked along. I'll court
nv wife as il she were girl again,
the way the:fellow did in that news
paper story. l expect it'll go pretty
tough" he reflected, throwing away
his cigar and wiping his mouth
carefully as he approached his home.
I've been IA good deal OF rhinoc-
eros about the house. and it's hard
thing TO break of old habits all at
once, but I'm going TO give it trial
if it takes the hide of. B."
Mr.. Diltz entered the house, hung
his hat and overcoat in the hall, in
stead of throwing them down in Il
heap on the sofa in his usual fashion.
Then he went on tip-toe upstairs.
put on his best necktie, combed his
hair carefully. and came softly down
the stairs again.
MAR Jdllt IV NaiANN WV
Where are you. dearg''
"Out here" answered II voice in
the kitchen. Did you bring that
package OF chocolate | told you not
to forget when you went down town
this morning.
why, no, said Mr. Diltz, re
gretfully, as he went into the kitch-
en-. Il forgot it, dear
Mrs. Diltz looked at him suspic-
iously. He hadn't called her dear
for about eleven years
You forgot it? Humph, just
expected it, What are YOU up to
now?'
This query, somewhat sharply ut
tered, was prompted by an uneNpect-
ed forward movement on the part OF
Mr. Diltz.
Don't you see I'm cleaning this
chickeng" she exclaimed. Look
out, You'll make me cut myself.
I'm working at the gizzard. 4 man
has no business pokiug round in the
kitchen when he can't do any good. y
Mr.. Diltz stepped back. He had
intended to kiss his wife, but con
cluded to postpone the matter for a
little while.
Mary Jane, he said my dear"
What are you all slicked up for,
anyhow? Going anywherey'
NO, love, expect TO spend the
rest of the day at home | came an
hour or two earlier, thinking
Il wish YOU had brought that
chocolate. That's what | wish"
Darling" said Mr.. Diltz, 4
that's no way to go to work at II
chicken gizzard. Let me"
Maybe you know more about this
kind OF work than | do? Maybe !
haven't cleaned hundreds OF chickens
since | have been keeping housey
What are you snooping around out
here for, anyhow, with your hair all
plastered down and that smirk on
your face?'
My dearest Mary Jane, =
"Polhemus," broke in his wife,
laying down the portion of the fowls
anatomy she had been dissecting
and looking at him keenly. what on
earth is the object OF this palaver-
ing? What new dodge are you try
ing to work now?'
why, Mary Jane, I've made up
my mind to try to get along with you
in a dig
ITO get along with me? What do
you mean? Do you tell me TO my
face m hard TO get along with?
Not at all, Mary Jane; not at all.
! was only going TO say that We
might live together more comfort
ably. you know. if-er-if we'd quit
this quarreling and be sociable, you
know. a. we used TO be. There's no
need OF us acting like cats and dogs
"
"Who says we act like cats and
dogs. I'd like to know? Look here,
Polhemus! You've been drinking
ITS blamed -- now, Mary
Jane, don't you give way to that
temper Of yours
who started this fussT'
You didr'
Il didn't. You did yourself Sc
Il didn't
You did,
You know bettern
Tell your wife she lies, do you?
Well, il isn't the first time. II you
have any business 10 attend 20 at
your office there will be plenty OF
time for yon to 20 and do 1t before
supper. III get along. don't need
any help on this chicken"
"Diddledy day-swing the dog gone
old hem shouted Mr.. Diltz, beside
himself with rage, ''Dadswizzle its
everlasting gol-dinged old careassF"
He went out OF the kitchen, slam
ming the door behind him, and in less
than a quarter OF minute later he
was on his way back TO his Office,
muttering excitedly TO himself, and
crushing the inoffensive sidewalk
hard beneath his viDdictiye heel as
he strobe along.
Mr. Diltz has not entirely given up
the idea Of courting his wife, but he
has registered a cast-irOn vow never
to undertake the job again when she
is anatonizing a chicken.
A Boys Composition.