The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-11-27
THE THIRD PERSON.
His Position and Privileges--Neu-
trail Ground the Wisest Stand.

1t is not given to every one to be
master or mistress of a home, to be
the chief or first person of a household,
and it does chance often that n is
the third adult under a family rooi
from motives and circumstances alike
honorable to all. But it is rather un-
common to find a third person who
perceives the limitations of his posi-
ton from any other angle of insight
than an entirely personal one. 1t is
easier in any relation in life to under
stand what is due to ones self than to
measure our own actions toward
others. The beam of personal i'm
portance continually narrows the
vision, and makes the focus of our
inner sight uneven and weak. And
perhaps in no domestic relation is it
so difficult to maintain a well-polsed
place as when one is the third person.
The third person feels intultlvely
that he has personal freedom, that he
has right to go or stay, according to
agreement or as his own will may
lead him-that he is virtually q free
lance. He has a right to this place.
ElUIl6T Il6 lldS CIlOoOll ~ hiLioSAt ~
blindly or willingly let others put him
there. All this is true, but there is
the same limitation to his freedom
when dwelling with others as for any
other human being. His rights are
his, but they are not to be cu~tthrough
or from the rights of Others.
A home brings special cares and re-
sponsibilities which no one is more
-,;aJ~ ~ -a,o;r0 +hon tho n q ra- fron
third person. But rare is the third
person, man or woman, who will adj
nit with anything like equal readi-
ness that, having burdened them
selves with building a household, its
united heads have a right to certain
privileges which are inherent in this
same house founding. Establishing a
household does give its found
ers a right to conduct it
as seems best to them; a right to
do whatever in their eyes seems most
conducive to family pleasures-to be
hospitable as they choose, to adjust
their finances after their wi method,
to govern their children and direct
their servants, to accept advice or
not, to make mistakes, and to learn
from them.
This does not mean that the third
person has not part or lot in the
family life. That would be an in
Justice to him, for, having accepted
him as a member, the family is bound
to give him all that a seal at the
hearthstone signifies. He has a right
to be considered, respected. and to be
made a sharer of the public joys and
pleasures whenever the latter are in
II. H. - HE toctao p,rf ON tho
other hand, he or she has no right to
assume a critically superior attitude
in the continually arising domestic
problems He has a privilege to be
helpful, to be comforting, and often
to be adviser and counsellor, to the
perplexed first persons when they seek
aid voluntarily.
To keep steadily on this neutral
ground of ready, yet restrained,
friendliness is difficult. but in lie
other way car the outcome of a three
sided household be peaceful. The
husband, doubtless, may be incon-
siderate, careless, or exacting; but al
though the wife knows this, she sees
other qualities, and the third per-
son will never find the key to the
mysterious current uniting them if he
be critical and severe. The wife may
be wasteful, snowy or lazy. No mat
ter. The husband chose her. Criti-
cism only angers him, and unsought
advice or a lofty, superior II
tagoniZes any effort on her side that
gentle kindness might cause her to
put forth. And when the wife is a
thoughtful, judicious woman, she is
yet human, and criticism is the more
H., 1,fo &c tsirN., rr,n d.,
rick, towering high in the air, but
guyed to the earth with the steel
and twisted ropes of love and
duty in many and equal directions and
she must revolve on her central pivot
and carry the burden, or do the work
that she knows needs to be done, al
though the power that moves her
seems triffing and the results small
Bailey Ormsbee IN Haaper's
B0zGT.
Learn to Carry the Baby.
Dear mothers of first babies, let me
entreat you to learn the simple art of
carrying your baby properly. l was
travelling on a cable car that,
among other passengers, contained a
Young mother holding an infant under
three months old. My attention was
attracted as soon as l was seated, and
| noticed the eyes of other passengers
in the same direction. She
was never still, and the child might
been a dish rag for all the re-
spect that was paid to its vertebrate
First it was thrown over the mothers
arm, between the elbow and wrist, it's
poor little head wabbling about like
an apple just ready to fall from the
tree. Then it was laid face downward