Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-11-05
TEA TABLE SALAD,

TEA TABLE SALAD.
THE reader who gets his news in
nutshell frequently finds that the kern
Ell has been distracted. -PWsburg Dis
patch.
Mrs. -''Yet, when you fel
in love with me- Mr.. Wickwire-
Il didn't fall in. [ was dragged IN. y
Indianapolis Journal.
DR.. HAMMOND says we have two
brains. This accounts for the fact that
some men think twice before they act
once. dorchester Post.
MEN are unlike trees in one important
respect-with men it is just after the
fail that they begin to acquire shady
reputation Baltimore american.
Little drops of water
On a polished shoe
Make man CavOrt or
Raise hullobaloo.
-NetU York Morning Journal
THE old, old story before marriage
has three words in it: II love you"
The old, old story after marriage has
the same number, to-wit; "Wanted
A cook. "-Atchison Globe.
A GOOD EXCUsE.-Mrs.T hat
excuse have you to offer tor coming
home in such a disgraceful condition."
Mr.. Tanker" 'Nozzer Teller was Asset
tin 'mup. "-Neav York Herald
DocToR-''You should not drink SO
much Bourbon; it will do you no good.
You should drink milk, for it contains
all the elements of blood" Patient
"But Pm not bIoodthirsty. "-PhdrDlG-
centicaJ Era.
The mlkman took some ducats from
The profits of his milk,
And with great JOY he bought his wife
A nice new Watered silk.
cit is a great pity" said the sports
mans wife after he had told her OF his
days experiences. "What is ~ he
asked. ''That q fish cam grow as rapid
w before it is caught as it does after
ward. y Washington Star.
In THE REsTAURANT.-Mr. Feeder
"Whats that awful humping out
there?" Waiter-"Dat's the cook.
Yo' ordered tenderloin steak, didn't
you, sab ?''-Puck.
BUNr1NG-"One of Larkin's sons was
accidentally shot in the lumbar region
yesterday.'' Mrs. Bunting-"It seems
to me that the Larkin boys are pretty
we'll scattered. 1t was only last week
one of them was badly hurt in the Oil
regions. "-Gr eenburg Sparks.
MANAGING EDToR-"Do you think
that new man has mad any experience
in a newspaper office City Edltor-
think so ?' '0The first thing he did was
to hide the ink and lock his pen up. y
Washington Star.
UNPARDoNABLE VULGARIrY.-Fweddy
(oreatIv shocked)- "That vulgah Jones
Wears hand-me-downs, don't y know
Actually wears hand-me downs"
Cholly equally moved)-"And pays
for 'em. don't " know Actually pays
for 'em Doosid cad Pr Chicago 1ri6-
at21e.
'WELL, Rastus, were you convicted OF
stealing that goose % No, san. II was
acuu1tivated, sab, on the errah IN oe
Indictment, sab. De towel were not
goose. but a goslin, sab. "-HGrpers' 3D.
DocroR-"It is a little difficult to dag
nose your case. Perhaps you have
been eating too much" Patient
"Tmnossible. This hotel is run on the
European plan. "-NeO York Weekly.
For PRIVATE C1RcULATIoN.--Landlady
-"I am afraid those towels are too
small" Clerk-"They are, our regular
size for boarders, madam" Landlady
N"I know. But / want them for my
self. CZoat ReUieW.
JAcK-.'Well, Jim, proposed to Miss
Summer last night Jlm--Dld sne
o; I,'a,i Won her heart"' Jack-"No, but [
Got a niece of her mind. "-Yate Record.
NV wife she cannot cook at all;
Roast beef she's sure to spoil,
Rut on her sex she has the call;
When she and at breakfast lail
Into a family hroll. -, ry,.r,d
w1111ANsoN-"T hat stranger is blWld-
e,adwaxski. the Russian. He has mace
IN name for himself" Henderson,
..Has he? Well, he must be talented
man if he made the one he now mas. =
The Inpresdrao.
You've WIFE-"Harry, how can yo9a
take so much notice, OF otne e; Mo4 si1nd
Won nsed to tell me that entirely nileo
vour heart" Young Husband es,
dear. but there's such thing as en-
laroement of the heart, you Know.
Boston Transcript.
"M.Ry. said Mrs. Hicks to the new
waitress. "what has become OF t +
r red wine glasses?' "Oh, mum ..t re-
,J Mary with frightened SOD, the
looks cousin was here Sunday, ana ne
ote 'em all up. He's the glass eater at
a aLo o,,,seum. mum. THE Epoch.
0s Tur srUBBLE FIELD.-Chapple-l
oown,t Get the impression OUT OF me 5,
u na;nd that I've forgotten, SO some el
m r,rn your tiawsk :" Chappie