Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1891-06-11

misgivings called to him and made
known our situation.
He stared at us moment as the boy
had done. began to grow impatient
I'VE are strangers, sir, and are hun
gry," | said "Will you kindly direct
us to provision store?
"Tt is surprise to me-" he replied,
ito meet with the people who are so very
far behind the times. From what distant
planet do you come that you enter civ
ilized city and ask for provision store?
Why, my dear friends, there has been
nothing of the sort in this part Of the
world for many years
How. then, do you manage to liver"
asked.
He tapped the box with his plump
forefnger, and nodded his head signifi-
cantly.
'sHere, sir, is my provision store, and
without more ado he lifted the lid. 1t
was divided into several compartments,
in each of which was a small quantity
of pellets of different shapes and colors.
"You surely don't mean to say that
you eat nothing but these nasty pills, !"
said my wife in rather a sarcastic tone.
"And why not, my dear madame?p
said he, holding brown pellet between
his thumb and forefnger, and eyeing it
fondly, "here is the nutriment from a
pound of beef. And here, picking up
another, ''is pound Of potatoes Then
here have my bread and fruit, in proper
proportions, besides many other COM
pounds. equally nourishing and satisfy
ing"
Of course we were very much inter-
ested, and asked for some further in
formation concerning this wonderful
country with its condensed diet.
After swallowing half dozen pellets
with evident relish, he continued:
1T was many years ago that party
of chronic dyspeptics, who were travel
ing in search Of health, discovered this
beautiful valley and decided on making
it their future home AS might be ex-
pected, their thoughts turned inward,
and their minds were unit in their
anxiety to discover a remedy for their
ills. Great rewards were offered, and
science was tested to its extreme limits.
Behold, " said he, pointing proudly to the
smoking chimneys and buzzing facto-
ries, "behold the results! The products
of the surrounding country are entered
at the rear Of these buildings as raw ma
terial, and are distributed from the
front doors in this condensed form. And
now, after several generations Of pellet
fed people, we have become a race Of
perfect men and women.
sour latest achievement is a genera
ton of toothless children. As we have
no use for teeth with this diet we are
well satisfied with this improved condi-
ton of our race. There is only one
drawback to our perfect happiness. We
are beginning to fear that we shall never
die, but continue to multiply until we
are crowded off into space"
'sOh, Tom, !" my wife exclaimed, what
a delightful existence we have stumbled
uponl understand now why the houses
are built without kitchens. 1t settles
the whole vexatious servant problem at
one stroke. Just think Of it-condensed
meals that one can easily carry in their
bonbon boxes are delivered the same as
our daily papers. Think of the annoy
ances these people escape, the time they
save, besides the perfect health they en-
joy. Tom, my dear, we will go no far
ther in search of a home. Here is an
earthly paradise, and here we will re-
main.
At signal a group of red robed boys
surrounded our cart and she gave her
order for pellet breakfast.-H. T. Hol-
land in Detroit News.