St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-19
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

think Benjamin would like for a Christmas
present?
Elijah-The same.
-
Chairman Clarkson-See here Quay, the
supre me court has shut off our supply of fat
from government employees
Boss Quay-Never mind, Ret; I'll turn over
to the national committee my receipts from
a number of little libel suits l have recently
instituted-if lam not Donnellyized.
Voeiferous calls on the part of the GLOBE
have at last brought Levi p Morton to the
surface, which event he proceeds to celebrate
by suing a New York man for S6s, 900. The
New York defendant will not readily pardon
the GLOBE for its oficiousness.
With many people sitting for photograph
is a rare, exhilarating pleasure. With others
it is an inquisition. mild degree of excite.
ment has lately been precipitated in the st.
Paul Press club, arising from efforts to secure
a group of the unusually good-looking gentle
men-and ladies-who comprise the mem
bers of the club. One of the young men was
yesterday led away by a friend for the pur
pose OF securing his shadow before the in
evitable fading of mis- substance. On the way
TO the gallery-people in search of photo
graphs invariably prefer the gallery TO the
parquetie. or even a prOScenium bOX-the
young man whose negative was wanted for
got all about the object of his errand, so alb
sorbed did he become in metaphysical dis
cussion on the moral effects of a bust in
playing hottie pool. Arrived at the negative
atelier, the twain proceeded to await the
coming OF the wizard of the camera. The
conversation was desultory, but after awhile
the young man said
oh fOrf Iov.f icf tn
in an appearance!'
This is not the Office of dentist" eX-
claimed his companion.
NO: see it isn't now. It's barber shop,
and I'm next"
Nor barber shop"
AT this juncture the official sitter made
his appearance and stood by the table at
which the pair of club men were seated. The
young man spoke dreamily:
Bring me some pate de fol gras, chicken
salad, lobster on toast shrimp pandemonium,
Welsh rarebit hors de combat. and -
But this is not restaurant" expostulated
the sitter
NO. calculated the young man. glancing
wildly at his friend. Il see it isn't. Itsa
buffet, where everything is to be drunk in a
sitting posture. No. you needn't bring me
any liquids. l promised large number of
people who knew that they had got to die
some time that l would never drink; my
doctor urges me to shun the flowing bowl on
Wednesday; never indul ;e prior to eaSnssl
hearty meal, and, besides that, had good
sized drink before coming in here
Good h eayens. man, this not gin MILL
exclaimed his friend excitedly, nor den
fist shop, nor barber shop, nor a restau-
rant
41,o
81 know 1t is not. can see that it isn't; it's
photograph gallery. But tell you frankly
that IN not up in chemical analysis, and l
pledge you my word it smells like all four
of EN-"
A Chicago judge who remarks, in deliver
ing the opinion of the court, that he sis some
thing of a farmer" himself. has decided that
one ''blind pig is not sufficient TO constitute
an agricultural fair. The attention OF the
residents of Independence. To-, is directed to
this ruling.
Surely the Twin Cities are daily growing
more and mole en- Siamese. 1t seems that
they ran about neck and neck in the big fire
race of last Tuesday night
And now ex-President Rutherford B.
Hayes comes forward with vigorous denial
of the story to the effect that he Is afflicted
with the chicken habit. 1t appears from the
statement of Mr.. Hayes that he never raised
a chicken in his life 1t is sincerely hoped
thai the generous press of the country will
do Mr.. Hayes ample justice by giving the
AFFECT retraction as prominent a place in
their columns as they gave to the original
libel. 1t only remains for us TO sorrowfully
lay the exploded tradition away in the I'M
classified list of fakes in which are included
William Tell. Pocahontas and Washlngton's
Ratchet. Indeed. the Hayes hen fake should
be placed alongside the 'Hatch-it."
a medical authority now announces that
music, so far from being a stimulant to APP
petite Is in reality more in the nature of
sedative; toxic depression to gastric yearn-
ings. Perhaps this i'll a measure accounts
for the notable INCREASE in the number of
boarding house pianos.
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Political Sycophant-Mr. Blaine, you would
make an ideal president.
Blaine-rye been an ideal president for
twenty years. What 1 really pine for is
slight touch of realism.
-
A correspondent of the GLOBE complains
that the Kelley cure is not success, because
when patient relapses he dies. Well. is not
this triumph over the rum power?
-
Chicago-We saw the eclipse Of the moon
through a piece of smoked glass.
New YOrk-Did, eh If you can find any
glass in Chicago that isn't smoked it will be
a curiosity.
The Chicago News heads an article: NE
braska Beet Sugar" Yes, and Nebraska also
beat Gov. Boyd cut of his seat.
The triumphant Democracy Of New York,
having eaten the Republican canary on the
Sd inst, viii proceed to do full justice to
Thanksgiving turkey on the Goth.
Casually editorializIng on President Har-
rison's Thanksgiving proclamation, the Chi
cago Inter Ocean congratulates the country
that at last we have got man into the White
house who can write English. Yes, b. Har-
rison writes English like hired man, COM
pared with Grover Cleveland That one
sentence of Cleveland's, "A public Office is a
public trust" contains more force wit cpl
grammatic euphony and practical common
sense than does all the silly-billy vapidity
written or spoken by B. Harrison since the
day of his nomination.
-
Thanks to the restless energy Of that vocif-
erous patriot Green B. Raum. the man who
wrote In Office is now out of it.
-
The attention of the Republican party is
directed to the fact that frost insurance
company has been established in France
Perhaps it is international.
-
The athletic baggageEian, who losses 30
pound trunks about as easily as the enact
ated dude swings two-pOund Indian club.
has been called almost everything that the
Amersean public could remember or invent
1t has remained TOR the usually decorous
Boston Herald to call him "haggler.''
New York viii soon be in the condition of
Coleridge's Ancient Mariner with water
water everywhere, but never a drop to
drink This is one of the little drawbacks
incidental TO q seacoast town.