Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1891-12-09
VIRGINIA.. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER O. lssI.

Office, and watched him to bed with the
regularity of child.
The last day approached, and there
seemed to be no abatement in his taste
for quail on the part of the verdant youth
from Montana. He didn't seem to no.
tice that there had been peculiar same
ness in his diet. But on the last day, ,'at
p. m, when the beautiful diningroom
of the Arlington was crowded with guests,
we had q scene. Our victim had escaped
from the clutches of his honorable repre-
sentative, but came, | suppose from force
of habit, into the dining room at about o
o'clock, drunk as Senator 10 our hor-
ror he took his seat and demanded tur-
key. The honorable Delegate and |
winked simultaneously at Wade, our
waiter, and he soon returned with the
everlasting quail BY this time, in spite
of our fr.wns and talk by gestures, quite
a crowd collected about our table. We
had distinguished members of Congress,
representatives of the Navy high in their
profession, and soldiers who had decora-
tions in the shape of scars-all interested
in seeing him eat this last quail. The
paltoral from the mountains of Montana
was about to carve his bird when he sud
denly recolIected, as drunken man will,
that he had ordered turkey, and laying
down his knife and fork he gazed at the
waiter with iniese wrath, saying:
Didn't / order turkey, sir Didn't |
order turkey? Eh? Where is the tur-
key?"
Wade, the waiter, responded with a
readiness for which we internally blessed
him:
"Dar amt no more turkey, sab. Tur-
key all out, sab"
"Well. | don't want any more quail, |
tell you. | have had quail till I'm tired
Of quail. Seem: to me there amt moth
ing in this house but quail. got to
dreaming about quail. Here take it
away and bring me something else"
The honorable Delegate from Montana
looked at his constituent with great Sc.
verify, and said:
MY grood fellow Suppose you cat
your dinner without any more row about
it,"
"Wel, - responded the poor man, 81
want my dinner, but quail amt dinner.
Damn quail"
"WelI," said Montana, softeniog down
into persuasive mood, "go on and eat
your quail or let it alone, just as you
please. But you mustn't crea any dis
lurbancs, you know, in the diningroOm,
and after you get through | will order
some champagne to wash it down. But
want you to eat that quail now, since
you make a point Of it. | had rather
you would"
A sudden fit Of politeness seized the
constituent, and to our intense satisfac-
ton he boted down the bird with ra-
pidity never before equalled. and when
the last morsel disappeared a cheer broke
out that strartled him beyond measure
Col. Piatt added that he told that
story for the moral there was in it,
Mark Twain had just completed his con-
tract to write twelve humorous articles
for the Golary and had then abandoned
the task. Piatt thought Twain could
have written twice twelve articles Of the
most charming character had he been
left to himself in their production. Then
Col. Piatt philosophically remarked that
"the fact that a department had been
assigned him in a magazine and world
advertised in advance that once month
a certain amount Of wit and humor would
be forthcoming, ended by paralyzing his
hand and drying up all the prolific sources
of entertainment. 1t was the story Of the
quail over again"
Col. Piatt only undertook to be the ed
itor and not the author Of department,
or, as he put it, he was only the presid-
ing officer Of the GALAXY CIubroom.
Mark Twain's own valedictory, pub
lished with his last installment of Neno-
randi, tells a somewhat different story.
He said
| have now written for the Galary a
year. For the last eight months, with
hardly an interval, | have had for my
fellows and comrades, night and day,
doctors and watchers Of the sick. Dur.
ing these eight months death has taken
two members of my home circle and ma
lignantly threatened two others. All
this | have experienced, yet all the time
been under contract to furnish "humor-
ous matter once a month for this mag
azine. / am speaking the exact truth
in the above details. Please put your