Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-26
SEEDS.

Cora (proudly)-My new lover, Mr. limp son, has stage air, hasn't he2
 Dora-Yes; papa says he used to drive one.-Epoch.
 "What kind of seeds ought to plant, Uncle Si, to get good squash cropp
 Squash, of course. What did yer sup pose, Lilockss"-Epoch.
 ''Do you employ your man Rastas by the month or dayi" 3'Well, with Rastus, it's sort of both. I employ him to do 8 days work now and then, but it always takes him month to do it"-Harper's Bazar.
 Miss De Platte-Jobb, Lott & Go. have some remarkable bargains at their French prints counter. Old Lady-Land sakes! Have these titled foreigners got to offering themselves on bargain countersa- News.
 Bingo-I went into the antique furniture dealers to-day to get that seventeenth cen tury chair you admired so much, but he had just sold it. Mrs. Bingo-How un- fortunate! Yes; he said it would be at least a week before he could turn out an- other like it.-Munsey's Weekly.
 Deacon Jones-But do you think there is anything harmful in the theater, Par son nBrown-Decidedly. It tends to make
 
 performance of our young people; and if these are discouraged, pray what is to support our churcha-Boston Transcript.
 'sI like this dress very much," said Ethel. "It is just too delightfully."- tight. But where are the pockets?"
 :'Here they are," said the dressmaker, handing her two small silken bags. "You'll have to carry them in your hands There's not room in the dress for them. ."-Harper's s Bazar.
 The wayward young man, broken in health, had gone to the far southwest to recuperate. He was in jail at Tombstone, Ariz., for stealing 8 hindquarter of beef. In the loneliness of his cell he sat down and wrote as follows: "Dear father-I have picked up some flesh since came out here but am still confined to my room. Please send me $100," etc., etc.
 Bilderkin-That table is altogether too rickety. Why, it creaks if you put your hand on it.
 Storekeeper-Why, that's all the style, sir. It's built that way on purpose. You can't read an account of fashionable din ner parties without noticing how "the tables groaned under the weight of the delicacies." Why, in the regular way of business we ought to charge $5 extra for Oucn hIuo oI Gaulco, uue 5OoiuS Ae Jou)oeS' Grip.
 "Now'" said little Johnny, ''Let's play Indian" ''How do you play Indianl asked Tommy. "Well, you De Indian and I'll be pale-face. Now, I'll make treaty with you that I'll give you your apple. Seea There, now I'll make new treaty with you that I'll eat your apple. Seer "But I won't do it. Pm going to have my own apple" "Oh, no, that ain't the way to play Indian, If you don't do the way say you'll be hostile, you know and I'll blow you full O holes.-Detroi Free Press.
 Rapid Transit.-Old Bob Keyworth ant Gilhooly were discussing scientific tropics a few days ago. Light travels at tho rate of 20, ,O00 miles minute" remarked | Gilhooly. ''I know better. When I wal a boy at school remember very we'll tha the teacher told me light travelled 8 the rate of (, ,000 miles a minute, and know he was not the kind of 8 man to tel lie. At that time, forty or fifty year ago, when travelling facilities were slow 6,000 miles minute was very fast time but in these days of rapid transit 20,0 miles minute is nothingIs-Texas Shift I ipOa