The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-01-20

carriage and would have explained the di-
lemma with a laugh.
But Englishmen are persons full Of nice
ness, and Mr.. Chucker dared not confess to
a perfect stranger that he had no trousers
| on.
He repeated "Hoor' two or three times
| over, and his stratagem succeeded perfect
| ly, for both his fellow passengers became
convinced that they were travelling with a
lunatic.
| The lady began to scream. Her nerves.
were so unstrung that they could not stand
this extra shock. And Mr.. Chucker made
things worse by the fxity with which he
stared at her. The gentleman armed him.
self with an umbrella to protect his wife.
Mr. Chucker, entering into the spirit of
his part, caught up his own um brella and
brandished it.
The travellers were in their attitude of
vigilance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed and HanweH was
reached.
Instantly the gentleman jumped out on
the off side of the line, so as not to pass Mr..
Chucker, and helped out his wife, whose
screams had by this time given place to
fit of shivering.
his mess, for the train would go on again,
and he should be able to complete his dress
ing. By way of insuring privacy for the
remainder of his journey he began by pull
ing the carriage blinds down.
Alas! he was not to get of so easily.
Already there was commotion on the
platform.
The husband of the fainting lady had ex-
~
porters and guards had overheard him,
and d rumor was circulated that there was
lunatic on the train. Some passengers,
roking their heads out of the carriage win
dows, protested against travelling in the
company Of a man who might commit
some mad act-set the train on fire, throw
himself out, or emit awful noises. The
station master was obliged to pacify these
murmurs by striding toward the alleged
maniac's carriage. The all unconscious
Mr.. Chucker was rudely aroused by. the
door being suddenly opened and a gruff
voice exclaiming:
"Now, sir, what's the matter with you?"
"Nothing's-the-the- with me-"
stammered Mr.. Chucker. What should
there be-" But, so saying, he Rugged his
robe closer to him with guilty look.
"Would you mind stepping out, sir?"
"Why should 1? Ny ticket is for Wind
sor"
Change here for Windsor, sir" respond
ed the guard, who was quite convinced by
this time that he had queer character to
deal with.
"Well, man, since you put me to it, I've
no trousers on" confessed Mr.. Chucker,
lowering his voice; whereupon the station
master echoed in amazement:
mo trousersr' and the crowd behind
caught up the words, ''No trousersr
"He's throwed 'em out" suggested
porter.
Perhaps he had none on when he got
into the train?" suggested the station
master.
''Of course had, man. I've two pair
with me now. Let me alone, that l may
put one on" faltered Mr.. Chucker, intimi-
dated and disguised by the sight of so
many people staring at him.
But while he was speaking, some low
churl, Selling a corner of his rug, gave it
twitch, and abruptly exposed Mr.. Chuck
ler's dishabille to view.
There was a shout of mingled laughter
and dismay among the passengers, some
of whom, being ladies, deemed it expedient
to squeal.
"Out you come" roared the blushing
station master in a paroxysm of indigna-
ton. and he clutched Mr.. Chucker by the
wrist.
'Weli! but-but-let me d-dress first"
pleaded the victim, as he felt not only his
arms but his legs in the grasp of different
hands. He made a short struggle, but
this did not improve his position. for his
resistance was ascribed to the maniacal
outbreak, and emboldened his aggressors
to drag him out Of the carriage feet fore
most. He tumbled out in heap and was
then carried across the platform, kicking
and roaring in the sight of hundred pairs
Of astonished or amused eyes.
"Ohl' exclaimed the young IL lies as he
passed.
Poor man. cried some old ones.
Hi! Fetch the policer' chorused some of
the porters.
Ten minutes later, when Mr.. Chucker
had been conveyed, under strong escort, 70
the station masters room, and had been
suffered to don his pantaloons, ne con-
trived to get a hearing and to explain how
all the trouble had arisen.
"Well. but why didn't you tell us this
DtlOAS. SA4cu lAS HOup4uSSS0 SSdNiOu HIS
ter.
Because you wouldn't listen to me, you
beast!' screamed Mr.. Chucker.
well, you've missed your train and
your dinner" said the station master,
land that'u be lesson to you"
Lesson of what?" asked Mr. Chucker,
exasperated.
"Lesson-why-why- not to take
off one pair of breeches until you've put
the other on, and that for decency's sake,
sir,' answered the station master sternly,
formulating an axiom which sounded well,
though perhaps, like some other maxims
propounded by worldly philosophy, it was
not easy TO follow.-London Truth.
The Water Cure.
A Vernon street man frequently starts
fire in his back ward as q means of get