The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-03-20
AMONG THE FREE LOVERS.
A. WARD, T. Z.

Lovers ana POSSESSING very original ideas about
life and morality. established thensely,s ut Ber-
lin Heights, in Ohio, few years since. Public
opinion was rcsistlessly against them. however,
| and the association was soon dishanded
Some years ago pitched my tent and
onfurled my banner to the breeze, in
Berlin Hites, Ohio. | had hearn that
Berlin Hites was ockepied by q extensive
seek called Free Lovers, who believed in
affinertys and sch, goin back on their
domestic ties without no hesitation
whatsomever.
| got up my tent in q field near the
Love Cure, as they called it, and bime-
by the free lovers begun to congregate
around the door. A ornreer set have
never sawn. The mems faces were all
covered with hare and they lookt half
starved to deth. The wimin was wuss
than the men. They wore trowsis, short
gownds, straw hats with green ribbins,
and all carried bloc cotton umbrellers.
Presently perfeckly orful lookin
female presented herself at the door.
Her gownd was skanderlusly short and
her trowsis was shameful to behold.
She eyed me over very sharp, and
then startin back she sed, in q wild
voice:
"Ah, can it be?-
which, sed l.
"Yes, it's troo, o It's troo!r
"15 cents, marm," anserd.
She bust out a cryin s. sed:
"And so have found you at la,st-at
larst, 0 ut larstI'
Yes" | anserd. "you have found me
at larst, and you would hav found me ct
fust if you had cum sooner"
She grabd me vilenuy by the coat col-
Lar, and brandishin her umbreller wild
ly round exclaimed:
"Air you manT'
See l, 81 think air, but if you doubt
it you can address Mrs A. Ward, Bal
dinsville, Injianny, postage pade, s. she
will probly give you the desired infor-
mashun."
Then thou ist what the cold world
calls marrid?'
Madam, istest!"
The exsentric female then clutched me
frantlcly by the arm and hollered:
You air mine, o you air mine!"
Scarcely" sed, endeverin to git
loose from her, but she clung to me and
sed:
You air my Affinerty!"
What upon arth is thatY shouted.
'Dost thou not know"
mo, l dostentr
"Listin man, s. I'll tell yey" sed the
strange female; "for years hav yearn-
ed for thee. | knowd thou vast in the
world. sumwhares, tho l didn't know
WHARF. My hart sed he would cum and
| took courage. He has cum-he's here
you air him-you air my Affinerty! o
tbs too mutchl too mutchr and she
sobbed agin.
"Yes," l answered, II think it is Q
darn site too mutch!"
Hast thou not yearned for meY she
yelled, ringin her hands like female
play acter
Not yearn!" bellerd at the top of
my voice, THROWN her away from me.
The free lovers who was standin round
obsarvin the scene commenst for to hol-
Ter shame" beast" etsettery, etsett-
cry.
was very mutch riled, and fortifyin
myself with spare tent stake, addrest
them as follers: You pussylanermus
critters, go way from nae and take this
retchid woman with you. I'm law
abidin man, and believe in good. old
fashioned institutions. | am marrid g.
my orfsprings resemble me if | am a
showman! l think your Affinity bizniss
is cussed noncents, besides bein out
rajusly wicked. Why don't you behave
desunt like other folks? Go to work and
earn a honist ivin and not stay round
here in this lazy, shiftless way, pizenin
the moral atmosphere with your pestif-
rous idees! You wimin folks 60 back to
your lawful husbands if you've got any,
and take orf them skanderlous gownds
and trowsis, and dress respectful like
other wimin. You men folks, cut orf
them pirattercal whiskers, burn up them
infurnel pamplits, put sum weskuts on,
go to work chopin wood, splittin fence
rales, or tillin the sile." pored 4th nv
indignashun in this way till got out of
breth, when stopt / shant go to Ber-
lin Hites agin, not if live to be as old
rs Methooseler.