River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-23
PITH AND POINT.


"A Rail Shot.-IIe--"I have never
vet met the woman l thought could
marry She-.'No, they are very
hard to please, as rule. Lilies Cal.
sndar.
I'm going to the races tomorrow
and l want to come home IN good
shape. What sort of mascot would
you advise me to carry ?" ~ railroad
return ticket."-N. Y. Recorder.
An Easy Way Editor of the Kazoo
1--WE must increase our circulation
somehow. What can we do to please
the public. Assistant Editor-'Sus-
pend Saturday Evening Herald
-9obby-"WLati is nursery, Uncle
George? Sis says it is place where
they raise trees" Uncle George-"Sis
knows better than that. It's place
where they raise thunder. boston
Courier.
First Cow boy Winchester Jim's
wedding was rather quiet affair,
wasn't it?'' Second Cowboy-'Prctty
slow; though. when the minister kissed
the bride, linn did shoot him. "-kato
Fields Washington.
MAAtAtINAatitA biAsti liN kttNHAFAAAtAA htNA
with one hundred thousand dollars on
their wedding day" I'm" replied
hrs. Jackson Parke, that's a new
scheme. isn't It: getting the alimony in
advance" indianapolis Journal
Not a Marriage for Money. Father
(sternly you expect my daughter
To lie a party to marriage for money,
sir Sutton (bashfullyl "N-no. sir
but it can't be, sir. I really haven't
cent Daily Continent.
What do you call you. dog?' was
the question which a policeman asked
of very large man who was followed
by a very small pm. Il don't gall him
al all. " was tine reply. Yen | want
him | vissle. "-W Washington Post.
a Good Little Boy like Sunday
school better than any other school"
said Willie. II am pleased to hear that,
my little man, said the minister.
Now, Will you tell me why?" Yes,
sir; IL only comes once a week. N. y.
Herald.
First Won had whooping-eough,
then YOU got the grip then malaria. and
now You have jaundice. Seems to me
You catch everything in your town, said
WiCgles. Yes" said the eommuter.
Everything except the train want -
Ilarqcr's Bazaar.
Making it Easy FONT wish you
would say something good in your
paper about my friend Brown" Jack
"a newspaper mani. But don't know
him" Tom-"rhat is all the more
reason why you can speak well of him"
Yankee Blade.
Why Knee Brooches Didn't Suit
TEem.-Fii-st Swell II say. old chap
pie. what do YOU think of this talk of
wearing knee-hreecheS?' Second Swell
~ for one viii neveh weah them"
First Swell Il thuppose You lack the
com wage. old fellah?" Second Swell
Its not a question of eourwage, but
legs, don't you know. Smith, Gray
& Co.'S Monthly.
Mai. Windup-"What's this. col
onel-out with a shotguns?" Col. Saw
agc-"I'm loollin' fer the Teller that
eloped with my wife" Mai. Windup-
"Nhv, ] thought YOU quarreled with
YOU wife and had often said you
would be glad to nave her leave you."
Col Savage That's just it. I'm goin'
to shoot him if find him trying to
bring her back.
Not Cigarettes, This Time. Willie
Ton the fencel Say, Downy, | heard
my sister standing up for you last
night" Epson Downs-''Ah! What
did She say?" Willie-She said she
didn't believe it was cigarettes made
You look SO pale" Epson Downs
/ Ibid she? That was good of her.
/ What did she say was the cause. VIII
/ Iie-"She said she guessed you had an
/ ingrowing mustache."