New-York tribune., 1891-05-03

fftyfour dollars of his little income on dozen
Shirt will indulge In cheap edition OF the
newest things in topcoats, while above his snowy
Ole his shirt-coar shines with bcaconlght
lustre.
when he has not the one solitary nickel, he is
Obliged to walk home, and his neat patenteathers,
q size too small suffer by this enforced economy.
They were cheap in the beginning ami they spread
and crack very early In the season. But their
owner, studying them earnestly, thinks they can
hold out little longer, buys the hat that his
fancy Graves, and, lettering down the avenue, a.
though from some fashionable club, ogies the
passing women with his most bold and killing
glances from under its m0dish rim. For his
bontonDiere, too, he always wears q red pink.
This Hover never changes II is not always the
same pink, but the man who has studied the de-
vious ways of economy soon discovers that ned
pink can he made 30 last fresh longer than any
other Hover produced by this fruitful earth: The
cheap swell gets IL in its dewy youth on Sunday
morning. He puts it in water every night with
sedulous care. and, on Saturday evening, he con-
signs its witherc shape, pale and shrunken. TO the
oblivion of the osh-barrel.
His inclination to hang around the restaurants
at mealtime in the expectation OF an invitation to
dine, is another sign Of his status In the social
system! Sometimes, and at rather long intervals,
some good-natued and merry fellow, who finds
his own company irksome and would rather have
even cheap swell 10 talk 10 than eat in silence,
asks the young man 10 dine with him. The cheap
swell accepts with hungry eaaerness. and his
talk. as the meal progresses and he becomes
O clever comedy lie has the jargon Of the class
whom he apes at his tongues end, and fine names
glide into his speech as easily and naturally as
though they were the guides of his boyhood's
steps. He becomes important and hnguid and
grandiose He orders about the waiter, who is
ready 10 drop poison in his glass. and looks at the
women sitting near with disparaging hauteur
from beneath his indolently dropping lids. When
the meal is over he swaggers away, feeling himself
great man, made TO be conqueror. and for
weeks after he hangs about more persistently than
ever. on the alert for another invitation.
The source Of his money Is rather mysterious.
occasionally become exceedingly dangerous, he
generally Is supported by an enraged and per-
picked father. One Of the most prominent of all
the cheap swells In town is the son of Dowery hab-
ertiasher. The boy. without being downright
black sheep, would not support himselk The
father furious, but not daring to lose sight OF his
wretched offspring, gave him a monthly pittance
and sent him on his way. Occasionally they meet
sometimes visits the paternal hearth and begs for
little more money to clear of some pressing debts
The father, who Is rather proud of his boys glitter
ing appearance and aristocrac ways, accedes u the
demand. His son does nothing bad. but then he
does nothing at all. The extraordinary meter
that he chooses to assume marks him as sort Of
mild crank whom you cannot incarcerate in jail
and yet offends You roaming at large
The most melancholy side of this mania is that
its victims are hardly ever cured Of it, Once bit
ten with the desire TO be cheap swell, the folly
never departs. For years some men keep up the
farce. struggling and striving to present TO the
world the appearance they cherish, straining every
nerve to succeed with the most sngulary proitless
deceit. Even when they fall from their first proud
position. they still maintain their old attitude,
They retire from Fifth Avenue to Sixth Avenue,
but are always cheap swells, seeking, in mouldy
lodgings and grimy restaurants. TO impress their
comrades with their musty spendor and their
endless talk of the great world and its gay. wild
ways