davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
An or Horse.

There are some eases on record of
women whose offishness was at least
peculiarly troublesome. The wife of
the famous Rev DR.. b. was one of this
sort. My dear, said the doctor one
day, Il wish a light lunch for seven of
the brethren today Home he came
from the Presbytery at noon, with his
invited guests. only to find on the din
ing table twenty-five burning candles.
1t was a light lunch indeed! On an
other occasion he blandly remarked in
the old fashioned way; My dear will
you lay couple of plates for DR. S.
and Dr. H., who will come home with
me at 1927 True to the letter, he found
two plates laid on the dining table, but
the cupboards and pantry locked and
his wife gone.
She led the great preacher a wild life,
always pulling oftishly. 1t had been
the fate of many great men, from
Socrates down to the present, to be
hitched to off horses. To pull well to-
gether is the ideal of married life, and
it is not so easily achieved. Is it very
wrong to expect the husband to be one
of the horses and the driver, too? Will
it be any better if the wife undertake
such a double duty? On the whole, is
not the true way to dispense with
driver and driving altogether and just
pull evenly MARY K. Spencer in st.
st. Louis GIobe-Democrat.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
A PECULIAR MARRIAGE Mix

"A L
got acquainted with a young widow
observes a recent writer, who lived
with her step-daughter in the same
house. | married the widow. Short
ly afterward, my father fell 10 love
with the step daughter of my wife
and married her. My wife became
the mother-in-law and also the daugh-
ter-in-law of my own father; my
wife's step-daughter is my step
mother, who is the step daughter of
my wife. My fathers wife has a boy /;
he is naturally my step-brother, be-
cause he is the son of my father and
of my step-mother but because he
is the son of my wife's step-daughter,
so is my wife the grandmother of the
little boy, and l am the grandfather
of my step-brother. My wife also
has a boy my step-mother is conse-
quently the step-sister of my boy,an
is also his grandmother, because he
is the child of her step-son and my
father is the brother-in-law of my
sou, because he has got his step-sis-
ter for wife. | am the brother-in-
law of my mother, my wife is the
aunt of her own son, my son is the
grandson of my father, and / am my
own grandfather.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
ODDS AND ENDS

A meerschaum mine has been dis
covered in Florida.
One of the many English noveIists of
The day, A. Conan Doyle, is an oculist
IN active practice.
Miss Ellen Terry, the actress, is presi
dent of the Ladies' Cycling club of Lon
don.
1t is not so much what a man thinks
Of you as what he persuades Others to
think of you.
W. H. H. Murray has registered a
VOW to mark the spot where Sitting
Bull is buried with memorial stone.
Within the last six years, it is esti-
mated, no fewer than 1865, 276 immi-
grants have arrived in the United States.
There is price to be paid for all true
work. Recall the terrible isolation of
Carlyle and his wife at Craigenputtock.
Bent whalebones can be restored and
few hours and then drying them.
The largest greenback extant is a
$40, 900 bill, and there is only one such
note in existence; of the $4,000 bills
there are seven.
Benjamin III. Currier, of Boston, has
administered the obligation oath to
bench officers for sixty years. Mr.. Cur
rier is "a years old
Five pounds ten shillings sterling per
pound was paid in London recently for
small package of unapproachable tea
brought overland through Russia.
During the siege of Valenciennes in
1898 the weather, which had been hot
and dry, became violently rainy after
the cannonading commenced.
Take five cents worth of baking
powder Make in a paste with am
monia; rub on nickel with a soft cloth
and polish off with another flannel
cloth.
The first iron pen was made in 1885;
the first steel pen in 1903 by Wise. Jo-
seph Gillot's cheap steel pens were first
made in 1920
1t is stated that 1, 500, 900 Christmas
parcels were delivered by the British
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
A Greenhorn in the Market.

'It amazes me-" said business man,
''hOw quickly trades1nen will detect a
greenhOrn. | have never done any
marketing in my life, but the other day,
when l got through my work at the
office early, / thought | would go down
to the markets and do some buying just
as a surprise for my wife. Well, | spent
two hours making a fool of myself |
had the greatest difficulty in the world
finding what | wanted, and after find
ing it | was stunned by the outrageous
prices which | was asked to pay. |
knew that they were outrageous be
cause l had heard my wife quote the
price of things until | had caught an
idea of their average cost.
Il went home without buying a
cents worth of anything, but took
home with me so great a respect for my
wifes financial ability that | told her
the whole story, and when she laughed
at me took her teazing good naturally.
What surprised me most of all, in fact
took my breath away, was that dealers
asked of me a higher price in the market
for SQUAD than | pay right along at Del
mOnico's, cooked, dressed. served and
all If any one can explain that-tO my
satisfaction l shall acquire as great
respect for him as | now have for my
wife's wonderful ability in providing for
a household and paying the bills with
so small amount as she asks. New
York Tribune
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
a Youngsters Reasoning.

A lawyer who lives i'm the neighbor-
hood of Central park has a bright,
chubby little boy about three years old.
For some time the youngster has been
vigorously protesting every morning
against his fathers going downtown
and staying all day He thinks papa
ought to stray 1t home. ike mamma.
Wednesday morning the urchin object
ed to the departure more stcUly than
before, and at last the lawyer be-
thought him to tell his son that papa
was going downtown to get bread and
butter for them so cat" That put a
new face on the matter and the pro-
test was withdrawn. All day the little
fellow was on the edge of anxiety and
could scarcely retain his eagerness to
see his father return.
At o'clock he met his father on the
landing, and the moment he saw him
he cried out where is the bread and
butter, papa?' ooh" said the willy
attorney, Il sent that on ahead, and it
is out in the kitchen long ago" Thurs
day morning, when the father had
pulled on his overcoat and found his
hat, the 3-year old asked, Papa, go
ing down town to get some more bread
and butterY He was answered in the
affirmative. Then he pressed his face
against the window and looked at the
rain coming down heavily. II guess"
he said, papa will get bread and gravy
today. New York Star.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
Three Remarkable Books.

Among small printed books an honor
able place should be reserved for THE
Bible in Miniature" printed by New
berry in 1850. Each page, which only
measures is inches in length and
1916 in width, contain on an average
81 words and about $50 letters. Still
another wonderful volume is a religious
work called 'Small Rain Upon the
Tender Herb, " printed by a tract so
ciety in London. It's leaves are / IA
by 1 inch in size, yet each page holds
an average of 40 words or about 260
letters.
Besides these two curious, tiny vol
umes there is, it appears, a work in ex-
istence still more remarkable. 1t is
without printed matter, and is known
as The Wordless Book. Ii has but
10 leaves, each of a different color.
For over 300 years it has been kept in
the library at st. Rupert's monastery.
Its wordless pages are only consulted
ON Easter. st. Johns eve and Christ
mas. On these dates the monks claim
that the leaves of the sacred volume
are miraculously covered with appro-
pirate texts in characters of shining
gold st Louis Republic.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

many banks of keys, the tremolo stop9
s'Look not upon the vine whom it is
red, when it moveth itself arignt in the
cup, for at last it biteth like a serpent
and stingeth like an adder"
IT'S WATERLOO AT HAND.
But this evil will be arrested. Blu
cher came up just before night and
saved the day at Waterloo. At 4
o'clock in the afternoon it looked very
badly for the English Generals Pom
sonby and PictOn fallen. Sabers broken,
flags surrendered, Scots Grays annihi-
lated. Only forty-two men left out of
the German brigade. The English
army falling back and falling back.
Napoleon rubbed his hands together
and said: ''Ahal ahal we'll teach that
little Englis,nnan a lesson. Ninoty
favor Magnificent magnificent" He
even sent messages to Paris to say he
had won the day.
But before shutdown Butcher came
up, and he who had been the conqueror
OF Austerlitz became the victim of
Waterloo. That name which had
shaken all Europe and filled even
America with apprehension-that name
went down, and Napoleon, muddy and
hatless and crazed with his disasters,
was found feeling for the stirrup of a
horse that lie might mount and re-
sumo the conflict
Well, my friends, alcoholism is inn
perial, and it is n conqueror and there
are good people who say the night of
national overthrow is coming, and
that it is almost night. But be-
fore shutdown the ConquerOr of earth
and heaven will ride in on the white
horse, and alcoholism, which has had
its Austerlitz of triumph, shall have its
Waterloo of defeat. Alcoholism having
lost its crown, the grizzly and cruel
breaker of human hearts, crazed with
the disaster, will be found feeling in
vain for the stirrup on which TO re-
mount its fOaming charger. $50, o
Lord, let thine enemies perishn'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
Saving Cartoons.

A method for using the short pieces
of carbon used in the electric arc lights
is in operation by the electric light com
pany at Concord, N. H, and it is stat
ed that it saves 80 per cent. of the
cost. The trimmers bring to the station
all the short pieces of carbon collected
on their daily rounds. They are then
sorted and matched so as to form a
carbon about eight inches in length.
They are then placed in a machine
which forms a dowel on one piece and
a socket in the other, and they are ce-
mented in the joints, the cement be-
ing heat proof and a great conductor,
so that the light is as steady when the
joint is reached. The spliced carbons
are used only in the holder. Cartons
thus joined have been used for over
year, and the prospect is very success
ful.-Boston Transcript.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

postoffice, of which 1,116,000 com
prised turkeys, fowls, game and Christ
mas buildings
The trust controlling the African dia-
mond mines have resolved to reduce
the product from 4, 600, 900 to 1000 900
of carats per annum. and raw dia-
monds have risen 100 per cent. i'm con
sequence.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
Perry Porter
West Burke, Nt.
PlClAl AatAT R0RTHwHTraN 1000 ma t0
JooI A WorTon'a WIII

GyTAiI OF NINNuE n. NHH..H. #.......
> Dog Probate tuuI N.H H NH|.H I.....
within HuU IUI HIfI H..|I|.|. .H T.. .. ...
February A. ID. IfaI.
An Instrument uuIUHn|u. Fl. .. ma. .#.. #.. ...
l,.,m'nl i"F,l.fI w''h '.. U.".. ..
rcu llte OFF Ellington .H HUI l-HH. ...#. #......
ed 20 slIu Court hY W.T.. Tf|.. U..f....... ..#..
W named fIr allowance IH IH.. t..II.
II IH ardHu ht .III Court. IH#. .U U...#U. ....
rrurd tHtrUIu Do uH.NUI IH HIH..I. e. ......# ..
said Court lU hu HU'I HI I.. If...I. .EN... a. ....
Barton Landing. uu IIr .H N.I off "#... .. ...
1901, and Show slUsr II Hut IIul UHH I#U.. ...H..
The allowance oft atu NIIr uI which H#.H... F. ..
further ordered tHHt IUFT uI IHH I.#.I.. .. ...
order be- published tIItU W.UIH .|-...... .-. II. ..
Monitor, printed H Barton. UTrE.#U. a.. ...| .....
appointed lur hearing.
By thF Court tI."L
10 O. I'm. AU.IH. H....
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
A man of awl work-the shoemal

That old established cough remedy, Downs Elk
ir, still more than holds its in the public est
nation, despite sharp and active competition. 1t
is "home remedy" and in this locality needs
words of praise from us, well and favorably
known is it. 1t is the standard remedy for coughs,
colds and all throat troubles, with great numbers
of our people, and their continued use and unsolic
tied recommendation oft speaks volumes in its IA
vor-BurtingtOn, w., Free Press, January go
1882
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
Must be put down-Food.
Down IN the world-Miners.
Chamberlain's Eye and Skin
Ointment

A certain cure for Chronic Sore Eyes,
letter, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Old
Chronic Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema,
Itch, Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples
and Piles. 1t is cooling and soothing.
Hundreds of cases have been cured by
it after all other treatment had failed.
IT. is put up in % and 90 cent boxes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

A famous Washington gambler, it is siad, will
soon go to preaching. He would have begun IL ten
years ago. but he has only just now found cure
for his cough. 1t is DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
"Behold the world rests and her tired inhabi-
tants have paused rom trouble and turmoil, be-
cause the customary headache and neuralgia have
been cured by Salvation Oil. Price % cents bot.
10
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

NJ. L. Blair, Alderman. 9th Ward, Scranton, Pa,
stated Nov. 9, s3: He had used DR.. Thomas
Electric Oil for sprains, burns, cuts, bruises and
rheumatism. Cured every time.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02
ALL SORTS.

Do You CoUGH?-Don't delay. Take Kemps
Basam the best cough cure. IL will cure your
coughs and colds 1t will cure influenza and bron-
chils and all diseases pertaining TO the lungs be.
cause il is a pure balsam. Hold it 10 the light and
see how clear and thick it is You win see the ex-
cellent effect after taxing the hrst dose. Large
bottles soc. and 81.
"Finally," they all come to it-Clergymen.
PILEsi PILES ITCHING subscriptions :
Moisture; intense itching and singing; most at
night; worse by scratching. Ifallowed to continue
tumors FORM which often bleed and ulcerate, be-
coming very sore. Swaynes Ointment stops the
itching and bleeding, heals liberation, and in most
cases removes the tumors. At druggists, or by
mail, tor so cts. DIR. Swayne & Son, Philadelphia
Familiar quotations" Stock lists.
have been troubled with chronic catarrh for
years. Ely's Cream Balm is the only remedy
among the many that have used that affords me
reliei.-E. w. Willard, druggist, JOLIET, Ill.
have been troubled with catarrh for ten years
and have tried number of remedies, but found no
relief until L purchased bottle Of Ely's Cream
Balm. consider it the most reliable preparation
for catarrh and cold in the head George i. Gran
DALI p. m. Quonochawntaug, r. l.
The first rose of summer-Shad.
THEY ARE LIABLE.-The doctors are all liable
to be mistaken. They were in my 1t cost
me 5000. 90 because they said had the heart dis
ease, and then told 1 must die. Grandmother
said it liver complaint and $500 worth Of
Sulphur Bitters cured me.-Jennie Poor, ROckpOrt,
Mass.
Must be put down-Food
Deans Rheumatic Pill are sure cure for all
forms of chronic and infammatory rheumatism and
neuralgia. Entirely vegetable, always safe.
Lakewood-Pines and cedars.
Boms-BLooD DISORDER had been troubled
with boils which came out on my ears, neck, and
in fact all over NV body. l tried everything and
could get no relief until was advised by my neigh
Dor, L. N. Arnold, to try DIR. David Kennedy's
Favorite Remedy, made at Rondout, n. Y. After
using it less than three months, can say am full
ly cured.-Sam1 Grady, No. 20 Caledonia ave-,
Rochester, n. Y.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

Strongest of the vegetables-On-
ions.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-02

"a Send for symptom blank to fiji
W. D. ~ ont, or t0rite DR.. Greene about
your case, and carefully considered letter, fully
explaining your disease and giving you perfect
understanding Of all lis symptoms viH be returned
free of charge.
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08
4 Gentleman

What is gentleman? II is a CRANE
old name; but what does it mean? Al
one time. to- say of n man that he is
gentleman, is to confer on him tn.
highest title of distinction we can
think of; even if we are speaking of q
prince. At another. to say of a man
that he is not a gentleman is almost to
stigmatize him as a social outcast. I'M
fit for the company of his kind-eveh
if it is only one ha berdasher speaking OF
another. We is a gentleman. and ysa
who fsn'ss The Prince of Darkness
was one, apd SO, was Mr.. John Halifax.
IF we are To .telieYei those who knew
them best; and so was one Pelham, :"
according to the late Sir Edward Bull.
wer, Earl of Lytton, etc; and it GER
tainly seemed as if he ought to know
From PETER Ibbetson," in Harper's
Magazine.
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08

hcvelcd appearance -Jo6zJones and His
frantic efforts to escape. however. con-
vinced the policeman that something
was indeed wrong.
..Here, Smith, cried Zones, impatient-
iy, you know very web that this was
| only joke. Tell this overgrown fool
that that was the case. Tell the po-
liceman So
Smith did not answer, but those who
have always thought there was no
humor in his corpulent body were sur
prised when they knew what he did.
He quietly pulled the watch chain out
of his pocket and looked sadly in n
woebegone manner at it's empty end.
a suppose" he said quietly to the
policeman, there is no use in going
through the fellows pockets to see if
my watch is there
I'm see, SIR" said the policeman. and
at once he went through the pockets Of
Jencs in manner which showed that
he knew his business.
1T isn't on him, sir, said the police
| man.
.Oh, say, Smith, appealed Jones,
don't let this go any further Can't you
satisfy him? Good gracious, just look
at the crowd 10
nc seems 10 Know my name, Sal1
Smith sadly to the policeman; 1T i
| smith,
And your address, sir?" asked the
policeman.
1.-The Metropolitan club, Fleet street,
THANK you" said the policeman as
he noted it down, and then Smith
turned and walked with Robinson bac.
to the club, while Jones and the police
man, followed by n tremendous crowd
went along Fleet street
Some of Jones' friends think tina
Smith carried the kicking of the jok.
Just little too far. but most of I'll,
mem bers who have he rctoforc suffered
from Jones humor tn ought it served
him just about right. OF course it all
came right and that in a couple of
hours. for Il deputation went from the
club to the police station and explained
everything satisfactorily. especially as
the deputation was headed by Smith
himself who apologized profusely to
Jones because. in the excitement OF
the moment, he had not recognized
him.
This explains the GOODNESS between
Smith and Jones, which seems to indi.
cate that Jones did not take Smiths
apology in the spirit in which it was
tendercd-LulSe Sharp, in Detroit Ere.
PreSS.
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08
NOVELTIES IN THEIR LINE

A RIVAL has been found for the eight
day clock. 1t is stated that q Liver
pool man has invented an cight-day
lever watch.
A PNEUMATIC saddle, which may be
illed with either air or water, has beer
invented by Partisan. For riding long
distances, either on horseback or on
bicycle, it is a desidcratum.
The newest gincracl<, in the hands OF
the street peddlers is little trick saw
ings bank, wooden box with tiny
drawer. which opens to receive coin.
and loses the coin mysteriously when
ever IL 1s,el,,1t. ssf.9s
The SMALLEST "mco4shinA- sliscillery
ever. captured by thcs rsS enuee Officers
was found recently in Atlanta Ga, and
sent to Washington as n curiosity. - is
,capacity is. about three, gallons, 1t is
Econstructed 500 as t., be operated on an
ordinary cooking stove and it is com
plete in every detail.
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08
our MooERN AMAZON.

Tn trying on my armor dear,
With which my battles arc won.
lAhaff count some brilliant conquests before
The summer sun hes gone.
Here's . white dress aud . lily-trimmed hat,
And parasol like foam;
They'll make my eyes look darker yet,
AS fetch my prisoners home.
You would not think this simple silk,
As light sea gulls wing
Could bring down many knightiy heart
In the lists of 'summering."
And here's . FAINT is not smoxe,
But lace and ostrich feather;
1t will be watched by eyes that ask
My fancy's wind and weather.
And here's a yachting suit that says
Upon LIES merry wave
I, like an admiral. shall win
Engagements brisk and brave!
And ut this shoe. all tipped with gold,
A trembling slave shall stoop-
A vassaI whom rival queen
Lost in some Waiting group.
In short when autumn once more hangs
Tho land with gorgeous hue,
shall come riding back to town
In triumph. Wouldn't you?
l-fsose Hawthorne Lathrop. in Harpcr's Bazaar
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08

= "Oh. It's no use, /" replied Smith, dole
fully; "h> has bolted."
So far the joke was cmendous sue.
cess, and even then Smith did not real
ize that his watch was not gone. The
joke would have probably been a sue
cess all through if 1t had not been for
q tall, stalwart man who stood head
and shoulders above the crowd and
who was coming up Fleet street some
little distance from where the occur
renee took place. He saw it all. rccog-
nized the act and braced himself up.
When Jones came dashing down the
street to escape up court the tai
man sprang directly in his way and
seized him by both lapels OF his coat
"You scouudrel!' he cried. I've got
you. You needn't struggle. I'll throw
you on your back on the pavement in .
moment if you try to escape"
Escape, nonsense!" cried Jones; III
was only a joke
'.Yes, it's joke you'll explain to the
Judge, my fine fellow. Here, some
body call a policeman"
Hang your policeman" cried Jones.
struggling to free himself from the iron
grasp OF the other, who merely shook
him for his pains as = big Newfonnd-
+ land dog would shake . rat terrier.
When Smith and Robinson turned
back and saw Jones in the hands OF the
tall fellow, Smith at the first moment
| thought Jones had captured the gar
| roter.
| you've got him" said Smith.
| eyes, ! have" answered the tall
man. ~ saw him do it. Just go
through his pockets before some of his
pals get away with your watch
Then Smith, although he is not very
| quick at noticing the point. saw how
things stood. He put his hand into
his own pocket and felt that his watch
was still there. While his hand was in
his pocket he slipped the watch from
! the chain, left the chain in its place and
put the watch in his trousers pocket
| by this time a policeman had arrived
on the scene, and pushing the crowd
aside, said:
"it's garroting," said the tail man.
The policeman looked rather amazed.
1t seemed to him remarkable thing
that garroting should be attempted in
crowded Fleet street The very dis
Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1891-08-08
SENTIMENTAL REMARKS.

TIE reason that some people love III
first sight" is because they don't know
each other thcn.--Columbus Post.
WHEN a girl turns up her nose it isn't
generally in order that you may kis.
her lips more easily Jour
nal.
"A1wAys aim little higher than the
mark" says philosopher. What! Mss
II girl on the nose? Nevcs!--Adri
Daily Times.
a PHILADELPHIA young man reccntly
advertised for n wife and his sister an
swcred. In most cases, however, the
young man does not escape so easily
New York Recorder.