The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-03
BRIGHT Bits.

He JEsTs at street cars who never walked
home after midnight -NeiU Orleans PicdyLne
THE MAN who can tell a lie ten times without
changing 1t is tue sort of a man the world needs
to tell the truth.-AtchiSoH Globe
A BRIDEGROOM feet inches tall has just
taken to himself bride who measures 3 feet
inch. Love me little love me long, was the
burden of their song.-Chicdgo Mail
HE-Why did your sister return SO soon from
Vassar?
she-She flunked on the entrance examina-
ton in slanguages York Herald.
TRAMP-I say, ma'am, can't ye gimme bite
o something cold TO eat?
Mrs. Pancake-Why, yes. poor fellow! go and
take one OF those icicles off the fence.-Jud1e.
THERE'S differences of dignity in trades,
Eacb has it's claimants, but when all is said
The cobbler takes position at the foot,
The barber at the head.
Philadelphia Times.
ALTHOUGH the chest protectors time
With warmer days must end,
'Tis worthy to be called in rhyme
A trusted bosom frisnd.
80. = -WaShinoton Post.
LECTURERS advise that in cold weather people
should keep their mouth shut and breathe
through their noses. 1t would be well if some
people followed the first bit of advice even in
warm weather. Philadelphia North american.
81 want you to tell me-" said one pretty girl
to another pretty girl. "how you can travel in
the cars alone as much as you do and prevent
men from ever speaking to YOU II chew
gum," was the simple answer.-DetTOit free
Press.
If ONE or the other Of the two great political
parties does not pull wool over the eyes Of the
farmers alliance, it will be the first customer
they ever failed to do up Both of the old par
ties know how to farm and are expert harvest
ers.-GdlUeston NerS
MINNEsorA's new law enabling fv-esixths of
jury to render binding VERDICT will prevent
more than ten stubborn men getting on jury
at one time in that state. In this state the man
who knows L all viii continue to be harried by
Ledger.
GENTLEMAN-You are a cheAti The picture
that you sold me yesterday has painted on it
"Original-by Rembrandt 1t has just been
proved to me that it Is a copy. Dealer-The
signature was perfectly correct; the original is
by embrandt.-HGrDer Weekly.
ANrLEy, Pierre Paul, Pascale and La-la-S
the four Indian murderers who were hanged at
Missoula yesterday morning. joined Sitting
Bulls set in the ghost dance last evening and
by this time they are wondering why the Mes
siah should get SO hot about is.-Butte Miner.
PATTENT-Isn't there some mistake about the
bill you sent me?
Doctor-No, sir; it's correct-S5O0.
Patient-To pay that will take every cent 1
have; I'll starve.
Doctor dieting is what you need
Good ~ eps.
~ OF are as bad as playful kitten in Jump
ing at conclusions" remarked Keedick to his
wife.
DO kittens jump at conclusionsH" asked
Mrs. Keedick.
Certainly, have you never seen kittens chase
their tails?'-E Exchange.
Dr. JUSTIN has demonstrated at last that
dynamite shells can be fred from a powder
gun; but in view of the frequency and alarming
character Of his failures 1t is probable that the
artillerists who are to have the handling of his
guns Will prefer to let the enemy capture and
fire them Philadelphia Inquirer.
He Gkneeling at her feet)-Only this one
question; say, will you be mine?
She-oh, how sudden Do give me little
time to think
He-Torture me no longer;I must have your
decision at once
She But why this haste2
He-I cannot stay any longer. I've cab
waiting at the door.-Boston Traveller
AND how is the pursuit of the thief who
robbed my house getting along?" asked an anx-
ious-faced gentleman of the detective III charge
at headquarters
Don't worry, sir" exclaimed the detective
gleefully; we've got there at last, You'll see
your man here in few days"
Good! You've got him, then?n
mo, not exactly, but we've got theory
Chtodgo NetcS.