Connecticut western news., 1891-03-18

squencht their thurst at the same spring; our old mares both had stars in their forreds; the measles broke out in both famerlies at nearly the same period; our parients (Betsy's and mine) slept reglarly every Sunday in the same meetin house, and the nabers used to ob- sarve, ''How thick the Wards and Peas leys air!' It was surblime site, in the spring of the year, to see our sevral mothers Betsy's and mine) with their gowns pin'd up so thay couldn't sile em, afecshunitly Bilin sope together 6 abooz- in the nabers.
 Altho I hankered intensly arter the object of my affecshuns darsunt tell her of the fires which was rain in my manly Buzzum. I'd try to do it. but my tung would kerwollop up agin the roof of my mowth & stick thar, like deth to deseast Afrikan or a country postmaster to his ofiss.
 Twas a earn still nite in Joon. All mater was husht and nary zeffer dis turbed the screen silens. l sot with Betsy Jane on the fense of her farther's pastur. We'd bin rompin threw the woods, kullin Hours 6 driving the wood churck from his Nativ Lair (so to speak, with long sticks Wall, we sot thar on the fense, a swingin our feet two and fro, blushln as, red as the Baldinsville skool house when it was fust painted. and loolkin very simple, make no doubt. My rite arm was ockepied in ballunsing myself on the fense, while my left was woundid luvinly round her waste.
 cleared my throat and tremblinly sed, Betsy, you're Gazelle."
 "You're sheep!''
 Sex !, Betsy tlink very muchly of you"
 "I don't b'leeve a word you say-so there now cum!
 "I wish thar was winders in my Solo," sed I, ESQ that you could see some of my feelins. There's fire enuff in here" sed 1, strikin my buzzum with my fist, ito bile all the corn beef and turnips in the naberhood. Versoovius and the Crit ter ain't a circumstans"
 She how'd her he'd down and com- menst chawin the strings of her sun bonnet
 '.Ar could you know the sleeplis mites l worry threw with on your account, how vittles has seized to be attractiv to me & how my lims has shrunk up, you wouldn't dowt me. Case on this wastin form and these ere sunken cheeks"-
 I should have continnered on in this strane probly for sum time, but unfort- nitly lost my ballunse and fell over into the pastur kersmash, tearin my close and seveerly damagin myself zine rally.
 Betsy Jane sprung to my assistance in dubble quick time and dragged me 4th. Then drawin herself up to her full hite she said:
 Il won't listen to your noncents no longer. Jes say rite strate out what you're drivin at. If you mean gettin hitched, I'M MP
 considered that air enuff for all prac- tical purpusses, and we proceeded iLime jitely to the parsons, & was made that very mite.
 (Notiss to the Printer: Put some stars here.)
 I've parst threw many tryin ordeels sins then, but Betsy Jane has been troo as steel By attendin strickly- to bizniss I've amarsed handsum Pittance. No man on this footstool can rise & and git up & say ever knowinly injered no man or wimmin folks, while all agree that my Show is ekalled by few and exceld by none, embracin as it does a wonder full colleckshun of Twin wild Beests of Pray, snaix in grate profushun, end less variety of life-sze wax 6ggirs, & the only traned kangaroo in Ameriky- the most amoozin little cuss ever intro juced to discriminatin public. WAX FIGURES VS. SHAKESPEARE. ONTO 1859 Mir. Editor:
 take my Pen in hand to inform yu that Pm in good helth and trust these few lines will find yu injoyin the same blessins. wood also state that I'm now on the summir kampane. As the Poit sez-
 inc erfote, inc erfote On the Swift ro!lin tied An the Rovir is free.
 Bizniss is scarcely middlin, but Sirs manige to pay for my foode and raj lnent puncktooally and without no grumblin. Pm travelin with tent. ! which is better nor hirin hauls. My show konsists of a serious of wax works, snakes, a paneramy kalled Grand Movin Diarea of the War in the Cry near, komic songs and the Cangeroo, i which larst little cuss continners to kon- ! duct hisself in the most outrajus stile. started out with the idear of makih my show grate Moral Entertainment, but Pm kompe1ed to sware so much at that air infurnal Kangaroo that I'm Trade this desine will be frustrated to some extent. And while speakin of morality, remines me that sum folks turn up their nosis at shows like mine, sayin they is low and not fit to be pater- nized by people of high degree Sirs, I manetane that this is infernul nonsense. manetane that wax figgers is more ele- vatin than awl the plays ever wroten. Take Shakespeer for instunse Peple think heze grate things, but I kontend heze quite the reverse to the kontrary. What sort of sense is thare to King Leer, who goze round cussin his dar- ters, chawin hay and throin straw at folks, and larfn like silly old koot and m aking ass of hisself ginerally? Thare's Mrs. Mackbeth-sheze a mise kind of woomon to have foand ain't she. a put tin old Mack, her husband, up to slayin 1 Dunkan with cheeze knife, while heze payin a friendly visit to their house. o it's hily moral, spoze, when sho larfs wildly and sez. ''gin me the daggers- He let his bowels out," or words to that efeck-I say, this is awl strickly prop per l spoze? That Jack Fawlstarf is likewise g immoral old cuss, take him how ye may, and Hamlick is as crazy as l a loop.
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