The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-12-01
THE BRIDEGROOM.

THE BRIDEGROOM.
he started up wildly at every station,
thinking it was his own destination. He
said he was from Newriggle, O., where
it is said that a man was killed in a
church did not learn what his offense
was, but no doubt he richly deserved his
fate. Possibly he put pants button on
the plate.
Newriggle is not far from Wingerts
Corners, where Nasty first got his idea
of the Confedrit K Roads. It was there
he heard sermon over the body of a
soldier, it is claimed, which gave him
the idea which he afterward carried out.
Newriggle is strong Democratic
stronghold, and according to law must
have three members of the successful
party in the preceding election as cleo
ton judges, etc. Three Republicans had
to be imported this year into Newriggle
before the election could be held accord
ing to law.
Newriggle reminds me, in this respect,
of Erin Prairie, a town in my old state,
where there was only one Republican in
eighteen years, and he was last seen
crossing the line at fox trot and pick
ing large pieces of rock salt out Of his
legs as he ran.
My brother spoke at Erin Prairie once
on the living issues of the time. He was
young man, fired with ambition and
willing to speak almost anywhere that
the committee sent him. He had a good
voice, and it was no trick at all for him
to have an entire petit jury bathed in
tears. He spoke feelingly always, and
scalding tears chased one another down
the furrowed cheek of the juror who
had not formed or expressed an opinion
for or against the accused.
So my brother went out to Erin Prairie
by order of the committee to make Re
publican speech. He noticed when he
got there that the band was not there to
meet him, but he got some tea and in
quired for the hall. 1t was plain hall,
with a frayed Autograph of a forgotten
one night ventriloquist hanging from
the walls and perehance a three sheet
poster of the Goldie-M Nc Cracker Leggitti-
mate Hippy-te-hop company.
He went in among the voters, but he
saw no kindly look of recognition. Erin
Prairie was always noted for its smoking
tobacco. It was grown on the place, and
said to be cured by the farmers there,
but always claimed that it was not a
radical cure by any means. It was
called the International smoking tobac-
CO, because you could smoke it in this
country and smell it in Europe.
My brother went back to the end of
the hall and took out some notes he had
made which went on to show that there
had been less scab and hollow horn
among sheep and cattle since the adop-
ton of the war tariff, and that pip
among poultry had decreased / of per
cent. since the protective tariff had be-
come settled matter in this country.
While he was writing a line or two
for an introduction, as if to refute his
argument on the spot, a typhoid hen
egg hit the chimney of his lamp and
popped. Then suddenly it made a few
offensive remarks and became a dis
agreeable omelet on the side of the lamp.
My brother is calm man, with a
light blue eye and stiff upper lip on
which there is avigorous growth of mus
tache. Tossing back his mustache and
allowing the not, malarial breath of the
egg to grapple with the fumes of the In
ternational smoking tobacco of Erin
Prairie, he began his speech in clarion
tones.
Now and then the parent of an orphan
kitten would come whistling through
the air, and cries of "Shut upl" and Go
home" might have been heard by one
who happened to have his ear to the
ground at that time.
My brother looked little pale, for his
health was not very good and the room
was very close indeed, but he spoke on
bravely till, like the Clover club, Erin
Prairie had made all the remarks it had
to make. and then it simmered down.
When he closed ne got hand or two,
and one old man with thick red fur
down the outside of his throat and
medicated flannel lining 70 his month
said as ne shook hands with the young
speaker:
Mr.. Noye, We done dom Wen wild
dom poor chance, and be CORY We must
not judge the town by the dom hood
lums and Roof skoof and Hoon We Hoons
and ragtag and bobtsl that was here
tonight, for be goIy it was not what We
moight cali representative audience at
all. livery mon in Arm Prairie that
had dom bit of sinse staid at home"
In Ohio we had 10 wait over at rail-
road crossings several times for two CT
three hours in order to connect This Is
very tiresone JOB, and 50 We most al
ways hunt up a siIliar3 rOom and wear
ont the time by playing pool and bill
lizards. Pool in Ohio Is not an expensive
game. especially at the crossings and
functions We had 10 wait two hours
at one junction, so we went TO the hotel.