Los Angeles herald., 1891-10-11
BY-THE-WAY.

| 1t seems that Mrs. Gertrude Atherton
intends to (dis) )-cuss Wowan in Her Vari-
ETY. to the extent of two or more columns
weekly in the San Francisco Examiner.
Mrs. Atherton, you remember ,is the lady
who recently stated over her own sigma
ture her firm conviction that women are
more immodest than men, at the same
time placing it beyond the possibility of
doubt that they can be if they so de-
sire.
Mrs. Atherton is not without brains.
More's the pity that she should con-
tinue to ignore them and instead to
ladle out to an inofensive public the
Goodies of gable and eedles of guf''
that usually initiate her columns. sup
pose said columns are written Sec
ondarily-wth view to amusing us. |
may be destitute of sense of humor;
but the only time l ever managed to
smile over them was in reading this re-
mark:
Throughout the absurdities of
Amelie Rivess last novel resound the
screams, 'Criticise me stamp on me
tear me to pieces only paragraph me-"
Ye Olympians This from the au-
thor of Hernia Snydam and other
things q
My dear Mrs. Atherton, other people
recognize, if you don't, that the versa
tile Virginian possesses spark OF the
true Promethean fire, in consideration
of which we could pardon her absurdi
ties almost as great as those which you
perpetrate without such excuse.
Unbeloved reader, do you question
the justice of the above? | advise you
to take my word for it; but ii you will
rush upon your fate, then procure a
copy of Mrs. Atherton's last novel, A
Question OF Time, and read as much of
it as you can-and may the Lord have
mercy on your soul.
| confess | haven't read that book
through; couldn't. When had con-
cluded the chapter where the hero OF
twenty-one meets the heroine of forty
odd summers at 4 O'Clock, a. M, in
dusky wood; and after whirling that
astonished female about in a wild
M@nad-like dance, finally sweeps her
UP and perches her in tree above his
head-when l had read thus far, | say,
l closed the volume and with blush
retired.
Possibly 1 am revealing my own inca
pacity to appreciate the good, the true
and the beautiful; but if have ever
read any worse bosh than that for which
Mrs. Atherton will one day be called
upon to atone, may l be condemned to
read nothing else forever!
Compare Mrs. Atherton's column
with Ambrose Bierces "Prattle" in the
same paper!
They have certain similarities. l
should say that Mrs. Atherton had bor-
rowed Mr.. Bierce's recipe; but, having
mixed the vinegar and gall in due pro-
portion, had forgotten the Attic salt,
which in Bierce's case redeems the
abominable mixture. Both these per-
sons affect or perhaps possess-Mephis-
tophelian cynicism, monumental ego
tism, monotonous misanthropy. The
process of thought evolution is appar-
emily much the same, the result-how
different!
Because one is a woman, the other a
man? Perhaps.
The exterminator-in-g -general-U play
fully refer to Mr.. Bierce), is perpetually
on the war-path, quGereus qeten1 deU0ret.
The poles OF his tepee are
hung with countless scalps,
dreadful trophies of his skill.
But the big braves appetite for gore is
not satiated even when he has removed
the downy curls from the brain-boX of
some rash STRIPPING, or rudely torn the
/ chestnut front from the inspired fore
head of the female saint. Like his saw
age prototype, he returns to mutilate
still further his unhappy victims, and
to gloat over their writhing agonies.
This pleasant simile is suggested by his
repeated assaults upon the defenseess
Women's Press association. Really ,one
can afford TO forgive that institution its
existence in consideration of the amuse-
ment il furnishes Mr.. Bierce and, Incl
dentally, the rest of us.
If that combination had haply been
hristened-say-The Women's Pacific
Coast Literary, Reformatory and Mu-
tual Admiration Bureau-or something
with even more capitalist might pos
sibly have existed in peace and quiet If
unknown to fame. But it is the ex-
quisite unconscious humor of the ad-
jective "Press," that appeals to the ris-
ibles of the newspaper person. The
other day l asked member of the asso-
citation why it had thus madly
courted destruction. Shs replied with
candor, "Well, you see, the railroads
give us passes on the strength of our
connection with the press, and passes
are desirable" If this anecdote sup
plies some misogynist with an argument
ia proof of the innate depravity of the
female mind, l am sorry, but can't
help it.
x*x
On some accounts it is pity that we
have been deprived OF faith in a hell of
eternal and unquenchable fire. There
are some people for whom anything else
/ is too good.
| am convinced that no one will dis
pute my assertion that Thos. w. Her
ringshaw is such a person. Possibly
YOU have never heard of him. In that
case you may still retain a shred of be-
lief in the theory of ultimate universal
redemption, which &red l shall now
proceed to destroy by the mere state
ment that Herringshaw is the "author"
of Home Occupations of Prominent Men
and Women Of the Day, Aids to Liter
ary Success, Mulierology, and Local and
National Poets OF America.
Any one Of these crimes against his
| fallovvnaey would iustifv the infiictiOn of