The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1891-03-13
A Goat Protective Association.

| n 0Os%1 EOtcCtAS0 AbSOC18SIOns
Out in that part of the northeastern
section of this beautiful city of magnif-
cent distances where the festive goat
blossoms as the rose of Sharon and the
lily of the valley, and his fragrance fills
the soft Swampeodle air, goat protec-
tive association has been formed to the
discontinue of Poundmaster Einstein
| and the defeat of the ends of Justice.
One of the rules and regulations govern
ing the internal economy of the glorious
capital of 62,625, ,250 people, more or less,
provides that a goat which wanders un-
licensed upon the purple hills of Swan
poodle, and browses on her luscious to-
mato cans or masticates her esculent
old boot legs, may be apprehended by
the minions of the law, and being duly
impounded, its owner shall pay the sum
of 81 in the coin of the realm for its res
toration to the empurpled heights and
the enjoyment of the tomato cans afore-
said.
But the people affected hate this tyran-
nous restriction upon the liberty of the
goats and their own property rights, SO
each mans castle is a house of refuge to
the innocent kid or the rancid old butter,
! and when the minions of Einstein ap-
pear every door is opened, and the fee
ing goats escape pursuit and are hidden
away until the danger is averted. By
this means the goat population in the
northeast is rapidly increasing, while
the poundmaster's goat fund is actually
dwindling away to invisibility, and the
poundmastef refuses to be comforted.-
Washington Star. apsa
Mankind's GreaSss.s ..eess.-:sssss =.
The ''two greatest scourges of man
kind" according to DIR. Lander Brunton,
are generally supposed to be phthisis
and rheumatism, but we are told by this
eminent authority that if any physician
were asked which is the worse of the two
he would probably decide for rheuma-
tism. 1t not only leads to as many
deaths as phthisis, directly or indirectly,
but causes vast amount of loss of time
and power and immense pain. The
rheumatic tendency shows itself in q
great many other disorders, such as in
digestion and headaches. 1t produces
not merely pains in the joints, but in
fammation of the serous mem mbrane, and
leads to the formation of "clots" or
fibrous masses in the heart, which, be-
coming detached, are liable to be carried
to the brain and cause paralysis DR..
Brunton stated that the old fear of caus-
ing serious damage to patients whose
hearts are weak by abruptly checking the
pain is now much diminished. This is
owing to the. discovery that the well
known remedy, salicylic acid, may be
freely employed without risk, provided
1t is absolutely pure.-London News.
A Grave Mistake.
SIT is grave mistake" said the doc
tor, "to eat quickly. Those animals in
tended by nature to feed hnrriedly have
been provided with gizzards, or with
the power of rumination.
''No matter how good a mans teeth
may be, if he bolts his food his stomach
must suffer thereby. When person
swallows an imperfectly masticated
piece of animal food, the result is
that the food, instead of fulfilling
the purposes of nutrition, acts, on the
other hand, as source of irritation to
the stomach. Thus. either the physi-
cal condition runs down or additional
food is required to maintain the general
standard of health. Americans are
called pie eaters Do you know why?
Because a pie is something that may be
eaten on the run, while the great Amer
lean enterprises may thus go ON unim-
peded by loss of time. Overhasty feed
ing is the bane of our American life.
We are all of us becoming dyspeptics."
Detroit Free Press
characteristics of Handwriting.
Handwriting has its characteristics,
and is study in itself to those who want
to become familiar with its peculiarities.
1t can very easily be told whether per-
son whose writing you want to identify
is man or a woman, a minor or adult.
1t is very seldom handwriting assumes
its permanency before the writer is 25
years old. The age of the writing can
approximately be determined by various
methods. If it has Spencerian appear
ance you may know it was written after
1882, as at that date the Spencerian sys-
TEN was introduced. If it is the black
aniline ink that is generally used every
where now, you may know it was writ
ten after 1878. The older inks had iron
or some diluted dyestuff for basis, and
preceded the aniline. An analysis of the
writing will most generally determine
the date of the writing.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.