The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-06
TRIALS OF POOR INVENTORS.
Specimen Of q Col. Sellers Individus
and His Schemes.
From he Washington Star.

Ffom fhe Warrington Star.
There was he ,itating nibble at the door
knob, then the door was slowly opened. and
in he came. looking first at one and then
the other of US, as II In search Of q friendly
or encouraging glance.
Removing an old SLOUGH hat from his
head with spasmodic jerk, he turned to the
man who was nearest the door and asked:
lis this the place where they patent gall
lusses and bracesr
When informed that it was lie seemed
pleased to think he had found the right
place and asked to soc the chief. Hat
IN hand, he sauntered up to the chief s desk.
and after few remarks about the weather
| he reached down in his trousers pocket and
| brought up a contrivance which at first
glance looked like an ordinary shoe horn.
With click and snap. however, he turned
up from the small end corkscrew.
We had all seen him before, and knowing
that there was fun ahead, by this time there
was a general suspension Of work, and all
were intently watching the proceedings.
With the lire OF genius In his eyes and a
tremor in his voice he exclaimed, as he held
the oontrlvance up to view: There's fort
une in that for somebody, but they don't
seem to see it. That little thing fills long
felt void. man always needs a corkscrew
In the evening, and after he has drawn the
corks and imbibed the contents of several
bottles, how would he get his hat on in the
! the morning il it were not for this little
hat persuaderl
both Of these little necessaries are here
in q neat and compact little device, which,
II 1t were only manufactured and put upon
the market, would sell like hot cakes"
No one seemed to want to taxa hold OF IL.
however. and good thing is <, in begging
from the lack OF a few dollars u give IL a
start. People don't know what they are
missing.
See thstw aud he held out a jack-knife
with a patent Notwithstanding attachment:
Another good thiugl Something which
bachelors have been wanting for q long
time. How many Of you can thread
needle 2
lyon all carry jackknife; every man
does.
With one provided with this little at
| tachment of mine any man could thread
needle as good as q woman.
II tried TO interest the CAPITALIST in this
| little scheme, but it shared the same fate as
| the other. One man said he would take hold
| of it if 1t had bootjack and mouth organ at.
tachments, but as it was he did not want it.
Some people are hard to please, but, )" draw
ing bundle from his coat tail pocket and
waving it in the air, 1--WE got it this time,
aud no mistake.
For a long time have / chased the frisky
dollar, but has given me the slip. Thank
heaven have at last found the way TO
fame and fortune.
"Gentlemen," he said as be slowly I'M
wrapped the package and held up to our
astonished gaze combination Of straus.
cords, pulleys, buckles and large red sh o. ds,
behold the greatest invention Of the age!
This Is combined suspended and adjust
| able liver pad. To show you what it is
and how it works | will Just slip it on over
cont Vhprp isn't hot
thing
"You no doubt perceive the great advan-
tage Of having the liver-pad connected with
your suspenders. The pad is adjustable to
| fit all livers.
ANY one can wear it, no matter whore
their liver is or where they think it Is.
How many people know where their liver
Isl Not nany, / warrant you.
''How would man who supposed his liver
was up under his right arm manage with
the ordinary liver padl He couldn't man
age at all; he would die Of liver complaint
in a months time. This being adjustable
can be shifted to all parts Of the body; thus
people can have their liver pad wherever
| they wish it.
"Gentlemen. think of the people walking
around to-day suffering because they can
not cover the place where they suppose
their liver TO be with the ordinary liver
pad. Why, 1t is beautiful thing" and
with Sellerslike air he exclaimed: "Ihere's
millions IN I'll Gentlemen. you all being ex-
perts in this line must appreciate its many
advantages and possibilities.
do any of you want TO get rich? To
any one who will kindly advance me
enough to pay for my patent l will give q
half interest in this, the grandest thing of
the kind ever dreamed Of. It's a chance of
lifetime, and you shouldn't miss IT,"
No one appeared anxious to invest In
liver pads, either through lack of confidence
or Of sufficient wealth to do so, or both, and
sadly taking it off and wrapping it up care
fully and slowing it away he shufiied out ;,
muttering in an undertone to himself some
thing about greatest invention of the age
| fortunes last chance