The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-04-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Yavs on time-His forelock.

Always on time-IIis forelock.
Early to bed and early to rise makes
little boys very tired.-LJe.
"What has been the greatest mistake
of your life2" "Making so many
Puck.
''Do you play by notel" NO." re-
piled the violin virtuoso; ''I play for
cash. ."-Puck.
Money is the root of all evil, but the
need of money is the evil itself.-Binq-
hdmton Leader.
Never Judge a mans mind by the
length of time it takes him to make it up.
-Boston TrdUeller.
The world never sits down twice on
man who has any point about him.
Mil,0aukee Sentinel.
If you wish to be entertaining just
forget yourself long enough to talk to
somebody about himself.-DalaS Ne,cs.
Friend-'Is the play go2' Budding
Dramatist (sadly)- but had hoped
it would be a y."-AmericaH Grocer.
All, you do not know the anguish of
being cut by your best friend till you be-
gin to shave yourself.-ElmirG Gazette.
Humor a kindly little bee
Makes laughter sweet rs honey;
While Wit is like a wasp, for he
Stings when he'd fain be funny.
The average man would sooner pay
dues at a gymnasium than saw his own
wood for exercise.-Nelo Orleans Pied
yune.
"What was that noise 1 heard in the
parlor last night, Maria9" "Itwas Will
lam breaking his engagement."-Bost0n
Gazette.
"Medicine," said n little girl to her
playmate, "is something that makes you
be careful not to catch cold again. -
Washington Post.
Passenger-'Which of the fool ques-
tions you hear every day tires you the
mostl" Conductor-"That one. III
dianGpolis Journal.
Upson Downes-"say, old man, lend
me five until payday" Rowne de
Bout-tWhich-your payday, or the
day you'll pay me3"-PucE.
The oyster leads a calm aud placid life.
While he lives he is never known to get
shot" It's only after he dies that he
gets in tew."-Epoab.
Professor-'Didn't see you coming
out of saloon2" Ninety ty-four-''Well,
sir, you wouldn't have me stay in one,
would youl"-Y Yale Record.
Little Susie-"We have had a great
awakening in our church." Little
Ethel-"Why, in our church they never
go to sleep. - Chicago Times.
"Alrs fair in love-" that is my creed;
! Who doubts it is a churl.
! Ais fair In love; ah, yes, indeei!-
Especially the girl.
"Robbie," said the visitor, kindly,
shave you any little brothers and sis
ters2" "No," replies wee Robbie, sol
emnly; ''I'm all the children we've got.
/ -BostOHidn. II.
"And suppose, like a brave soldier,
| you followed your colors." eyes,
whenever there was a battle 1 noticed
that the colors were flying, SO l flew,
too. "-Butfalo Express.
"Why won't you take Fliclleles as
! partnerW "My dear fellow, Flickeles
was engaged to my wife before married
her. And would you have me take for
partner man who is cleverer than Ip-
FlieQeade Blaetter.
The Little Trader: Moritz received
from his teacher a box on the ear, but
undeservedly, for it was his neighbor
who had been out of order. "Now,
teacher" he said, "you see that it was
not my fault Don't forget to credit
me with that box on the ear, will youl"
-Fiiegende Blaett0r.
Detected Tramp-''Yes'm, I've had
sad history. I've travelled this country
for years and years, homeless aud hope
less, in search of something | fear it
would break my heart to find Kind.
hearted Lady-''And what is that, my
poor mani" Detected Tramp-"WorI,
ma'am. - Chicago Tribune.