River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-01-22
PITH AND POINT.

-Smiley-"Now, remember. don't
want very large picture Photog-
raphcr-"All right, sir Then please
close your mouth. Boston Traveller
1t is when lady enters a crowded
horse-car that the man who has seat
really feels that he is getting his moneys
worth out of a newspaper -Elmira Ca
xette.
-"Snclley writes good deal better
than he talks" 20, immensely" Then
you have real some of his writings?'
mo, but have heard him talk. '-Bos-
ton Transcript.
-"Oh. how sorry am my first dear
husband diedr sighed Mrs. Snodgrass
band. so am r. replied Snodgrass,
fervently.-Jmy.
This" said the dear girl, as she led
the way into secluded little nook in
the conservatory, lis what papa calls
his MATCHBOX. Every body comes in
here to propose. "-lIarper's Bazaar.
Mabel docking at dude smoking a
cigarettel--''llow dctestabler Amy
ayes; cigarette is very OBJECTIONABLE
but to the object ut the moist end of il. !"
Epoch.
Girl Graduate-"Oh uncle. Clara and
saw the Funniest thing at the park this
morning" uncle-"What was it,"
G irl Graduate They had lion shaved
just like little poodle dog. Yale
Record.
Good Gracioasr' said Mr.. Ritter,
81 am glad I'm not in the strait that
the Barings were. | should be in bad
fix if had to raise sos. 600. 900. ] find il
hard to borrow s.. Shoe and Leather
Reporter.
lie was Sorry Teacher-''Were
you snrly. Tommy that you stole the
apples?' Tommy-''You bet was
They made me SO sick that | had to
stay holnc from the bail game - Yam
kec Blade.
Insurance Agent TO Aunt Lizcl---
Eliza -.Clar ont oh dis yer, wifi Yer
temptations. chile done amt played
no policy since jined the church. -
Boston Herald.
Doctor ito Government clerlxl-
swell, what do you complain of"
Clerk ''SlecplesSness, doctor" Doctor
AT what time do you go to bed?"
Clerk ''Oh. don't mean at night, but
during Office hours Pick Me Up.
DO you find enough to keep you
busy these days, Jim?" You bet. |
am putting in bigger days work these
days than ever did before ''Why, l
thought you'd given up your job. sol
did I'm looking for another. buffalo
Express.
-Brown-"Ah! been abroad. Ell?
Have a good passage?" Gray-"Splen-
did: sea as calm as mill pond Wasn't
seasick a second" Brown-"Then YOU
must have had good time Gray
mot a bit of it. Nobody else was sick.
didn't enjoy the trip at all."-Boston
Transcript.
Your husband is less at home now
than ever" reiterated the minister
"Do you try to make home attractive to
him?" DO l? ] should say | did.
And not only that. but I've got my
mother to come live with ms to help
make it still more pleasant for him. -
Philadelphia Times.
First Tramp--"Where did you get
that fine overcoat?" Second Tramp
'Tn the big house at the corner" II
went there only dis mornin' shiverin'
wild cold, an they wouldn't give me
rag" IL didn't ask fer clothes fer me-
self / told 'cln it was fer tn poor
heather in Central Africa. Epoch.
Worse Still. - Briggs - Here's
strange thing. A fellow went down to
the river the other night to commit sui
eide, when he suddenly remembered
that he owed n druggist twenty cents
for package of cigarettes. 1t bothered
him, so he went right back to pay it. "
Griggs-"What did he do then, commit
suicidc9" Briggs than that
He bought another package of cigar
ettes."-N. Y. Sun.