The Critic and record. (Washington, D.C.) 1891-1896, 1891-05-09
''That was all, The letter went straight
to Handy

1 ldl MdS dlls lt ltIlGI Mtlll SlIulRuJ
to Handy
Up in the row party of newspaper cor
respondents were discussing the game of
drawpoker the other evening when a
Western representative suggested that he
had examined the chemical composition
of the game with a spectroscope and had
found to average about as follows;
ProtoXidc of nine high....,........,.., 3.4i0
Nitrate of two Jacks. ks......,....,..,,.,... 2.gS3
Sulphurate OF kings up,,.....,..., ... 1GiT
Carbonet OF three bulls...,,......,...... .p4
Methviate OF sequence ......,.........,, ,656
Bi-hortato of flush. sh.........,..,...,,,..,. .;D3
HypophOsphite Of quecn-full,..., .2S
Subncetate of fours. rs............,....,.... 10
Carburct of traight flush, 02l
Silicato of buif, eyauidc of bOb-tail and
other foreign substances. trace
Total" ..., 10000
ut will be learned from the above"
sagely remarked the W. r., that the
quantity of straight flush in an average
hand is mighty small, and would like
for you to show me the man who has
knowledge to the contrary
Not soul disputed the proposition and
the unanimous verdict seemed to be that
they had never heard of enough straight
flush together at one time to do mach
damage.
Finally an i. F, V. said that he knew
Vi one case anu Only OHe-Ina1 Oh u llldu
who suffered a sudden attack of quadru-
pie jacks and who happened to fall
against bait gourd full of the carburet
and subsequently went home III barrel
minus his clothes.
Just beyond the Boundary and almost
touching the beautiful little suburb of lie
Droit Park, is one of the most desolate
and neglected spots in the District. 1t is
an old cemetery, from the graves of which
the bodies have long since been removed,
but the mouments and tombstones are
still left standing. The fence around The
little cemetery has long since been used to
kindle the fires of the denizens of the sur
rounding commons, and the whole place
with its tottering headstones and yawn-
ing graves, is unpleasantly suggestive of
resurrection day. Here a handsome slab
of marble has fallen forward into the
grave and the inscription stares up into
your face, telling that here lies Michael
O'Connor, native of County Kerry.
There in a clump of bushes almost
hidden is rude pile of granite memorials,
as if each spirit before departing had
placed it there instead of carrying il with
him TO his new resting grave.
A few of the more pretentious monu-
ments, fortunate enough to be protected
by rusty iron fences, have thus far es-
capped injury, except from the hands of
time They were once triumphs of the
local stone-cutter's art, but they are so
worn and defaced by the wind and
weather, that they are scarcely recogniz-
able as memorials of the dead at all.
| Once this cemetery was one of the most
| beautiful, instead of the most neglected,
| of places. The graves were grown over
with myrtle and violets, and handsome
elms and dropping willows shaded its
tt-tt. rNatl nhaNt Il
| in their stead, a grove of sickly young
trees have sprung up, and the half-flled
graves are overrun with rank bushes and
! weeds. 1t is a rendezvous for the youth
| of the neighborhood, who play at leap
| frog and hide and seek about the vacant
| grounds, or, exercising their own inge.
| nuity, scratch rude inscriptions on the
backs of the stones.
Many of the original inscriptions are
| still well preserved and, with exceptions,
the persons once buried there were natives
of Ireland and the cemetery was called
| after lreland's patron saint. Why these
stones are still left there is unknown, but
there they will probably remain, a con-
slant reminder OF the remembrance which
| we bear the departed, until some body
carts them away and breaks them up for
| cobble stones.
AT nearly every one of the police sta
| tions in town there is pet. These pets
are for the most part cats or dogs, and they
| get so accustomed to associating with
| policemen that they will have nothing
| TO do with any one else. But the life of
these station-house pets is not very long,
| and not very happy either, for that mat
| ter. Inspector Swindells of the detective
office has been singularly unfortunate.
lie had the oldest cat, perhaps, in town.
She had become feature of the office and
antedated every other attache there. No
one, ever thought of death in connection
| with her, and nearly every policeman in
town who has home has one of that
feline's offspring as a household god. But
some time ago her health began TO fail
and her hair began to fall out so rapidly
that she became quite bald. All sorts of
remedies were tried, but they were of no
avail, and one day Jim, the janitor, was
seen to leave the Office with a bag under
| his arm. He was afterward heard to re-
mark to an old crony of his outside:
II flung de bag round my head three
times an den lef' her loose. Dat you
kno' Brer Johnsing, hab never fail yit.n
Brer Johnsing nodded acquescence,
and the cat has never been seen around
headquarters since.
But she left one of her descendants te
take her place, and the fate of this kitten
|
befell its mother. II escaped for tive
weeks the feet of policemen, detectives
reporters and casual visitors, and everyone
began TO hope that it would take the place
so long occupied by the old lady
But one day alarming symptoms ap
peared The kitten began toswell Every
thing that could be done to suppress the
swelling was done, but it wouldn't bC
stopped Every day some new medicine
was tried but it did no good and gradually
the kitten took the shape of a toy bal
loon. Police surgeons were consulted
They could do nothing and neither coulC
DR.. Frauk, the Sanitary officer. The kit
ten got so round that it could barely
wobbie about, but one day it did wobbl,
to the front door of the office. The doc
was open and out into the street it wand
cred. A gust of wind came along ul
Louisiana. avenue about this time anC
Ned Horne declares to this day that IN
saw that cat floating over City Hall at thu
rate Of mile every two seconds.