Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-07-12
CORRESPON DENCE.
ACTUAL TEST OF REFINEMENT.

Excuse 4 country girl for troubling you,
still as | read this page attentively l feel
that l have certain right to ask informa-
ton about matters whereof | am ignorant.
A few weeks ago 1t was said that ones de-
pertinent at table was an actual test of re-
hnement and culture. This may be. but
where person has lived in retirement they
may he ignorant of the laws of etiquette,
and if tried by this test would be conSid-
cred lacking in the essential characteristics
of u lady. | am going to spend 4 part of
the summer with fashionable people, and
will certainly wish TO appear well-bred.
VIII you kindly. through these columns,
give me some hints, Truly yours. l..
While it may border ON the eXtravagant
to assert that department in the dining
room is an actual test of culture, refine
ment and good breeding, yet few will deny
that at the table there is ample room for the
display or for the lack of qualities which
are commonly associated with the well
bred" The writer of this letter Justly ap-
preciates that one must have the advan-
tages of good society to understand thor
oughly the laws of etiquette. There are,
however, few rules belonging to the table
that are not affected by fashion and are
applicable under all circumstances.
Invitations to dinner will be almost sure
to come TO this young woman during the
summer sojourn, and among general rules
are these: Always reply promptly to any
invitation to a dinner: delay in this is 4
Sreat annoyance to the hostess, as she ar
ranges always for a fixed number of guests.
No guest should ever be late; nothing but
broken bones or carriage can be an excuse
for an ilnpunctual guest, unless it be sud
whist for not returning partners lead Of
trumpS. The seats at the table are deSig
mated by the hostess. and once seated there
should be no stiffness in ones upright pos
ture; TO sit at ease not too near the table,
and not touching the back of the chair, is
the proper position. The use of the napkin
does not include that of the bib. and it
should be quietly unfolded over the lap.
Neither is the knife to be used in conveying
food to the mouth. the fork is intended for
that use, also for much that was once
the province of the spoon. No
space is reserved al the table
Tor hands and arms, as il is supposed these,
when unemployed, will rest quietly in the
lap. If one hand rests on the table it must
be only so far as the wrist, and without any
playing with things upon the table Soup
must be taken noisclessly from the edge
and not from the end of the spoon; i'll fact
maStication should go on as quietly as pos
sible. Every one who would be considered
well-bred must enter into the conversation,
which will of course be of general nature.
Meeting around 4 social board can never be
regarded as solely for the purpose of feed
ing, but the table should be rallying point
where wit and humor may play, and where
people can meet for pleasant intercourse.
If brown ring was never seen upon the
tablecloths there would be no occasion o
say do not pour tea or coffee into the saucer,
and if there were no accidents to china be-
cause of the spoon left in the cup it would
be useless TO say that the spoon should be
laid in the saucer. When the dinner is
served in courses it is incumbent on the
guest to accept each one. 10 refuse wine
is optional. Some take it and leave it I'M
tasted, while others decline to have it
poured at their place. To refuse anything
passed and say you never eat it is unneces-
sary and frequently embarrassing to the
hostess While there is no objection to ac-
cept anything offered, it is quite as unnec-
essary to state your peculiar within as re-
CARDS food.
Always wait until the host gives the sig
nal for rising, and remain in the company
at least an hour after the meal. In taking
leave it is proper TO do so on leaving the
drawing room before putting on ones
wraps.