Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-05-21
Pi1H AND POINT.

-Pastor-'sIf you live rightly you
will meet your departed in the happier
state Widow-"You didn't know
William, did you?"--N. Y. Herald.
One may ruin score of his fellows
and he is easily forgiven; but let him
ruin himself and there's nothing too
harsh that may be said of him.-Boston
Transcript
Enthusiastically like to- sell that
engagement ring 1 bought some time
ago." G1azebrooke-''Why, is the
match off?" Grimshaw-''Oh,n no; but
we've married. "-Galveston News
1t Was Good-''Ish dot Linberger
not goot?" asked dealer of man who
looked at it from a little distance.
"Good!' he replied; why it's unap-
proacha ble!'-Demorest's Monthly
-Offanon-ssAnd is Miss Oracle to
have two chaperons? What is that for?''
Old Peterby-"That's on your account
When you come they are to chaperon
by watches, three hours off and three
on. IN. Y. Herald.
Bank President-s'Didy you say, Mr.
Bullion. that the young man you rec
commended is subject to fits of abstrae-
ton % Mr.. Bullion-''Yes, occasional
ly." Bank President-''Then he Will
not suit us as cashier"
-Sharpson grinding out verse)-"f
want suitable rhyme for chains. '''
Phiatz whats the matter with
sbrains?'" Cant use it. I'm writing
poem entitled The Cigarette Smok-
er. '"-Sporting World.
You may talk of the depth and
power of love all you please, but there
has been as yet no instance recorded of
young man turning insane in the
lapse of time between his proposal and
his loved ones answer.
First dent-s'You told me you
had a rare and curious manuscript to
show me. see nothing here but re-
ceipted tailor's BILL Second Student
''And you see nothing rare or curious
about itr'-Fliegende Batter.
Family Honor in Danger:-Willby.
How are your poems selling, Bill
by?" Billby, The Poet.-''The first
edition was exhausted on the first day.
My uncle bought the whole of it"
Willby-"To save the family honor,
suppose. Yankee Blade.
II see George" said the roommate
to whom he had been confiding. ''She
isn't pretty, but with all her faults you
love her still" No" said George,
cit amt still, it's a brewery that her
father owns, and it makes mint OF
money. "-Washington Post.
His Exercise.-Tom Knox-''1 am
glad to see that you have joined our
athletic club Howell Gibbon.-''Ah,
ya-as; the doctah recommended exer-
else, We know; and as heard that walk
ing was good, l just walk down evewy
mawning, and wead the papahs!'-Puck.
That said the performer, as he
wheeled around on the piano-stool, lis
posthumous composition. 1t is quite
proba BILE that the composer never heard
it performed What do you think of it?''
81 think it shows remarkable good
taste on the composers part. WASH
| ington Post
Pretty Far Gone.-"What a happy
disposition Sapper has! He never has
any money of his own. for he is always
trying to borrow, yet you'd think he
hadn't care in the world" ~ sup
pose it is because his credit is so poor
that he can not even borrow trouble"
Boston Herald.
Col. Bourbon being murdered. that we
printed this morning, amt true. He's
alive and we'll" Editor-"And what
do you mean by coming here and tell
ing me? The Howler has a character
for veracity that must be iDtained.
Go right off and kill him. "-Philadel-
phia Times.
A Successful Authoress. Returned
Tourist-'By the way, Mrs. De Beauti,
/ have not seen your charming daugh-
ter since my return. When I left she
had determined to submit her first
novel to the leighton Magazine. Has,
she been successful in her literary as
| pirations?' Mrs. De Beauti-''Perfect--
ly. She married the editor. Demo
| rests Monthly.
Feminine Generalship.-Mis De
Fashion (breathlessly)-"O mother!
It won't do to wait three weeks before
| having my party. We must send out
| the invitations at once, and have it this
| week" Mrs. De Fashion, Goodness
me! What's the hurry?" Miss De Fash
| ior-''That odious Miss De Pretty,
whom Mr.. Richfellow so much admires,
| has boil on her nose.
Monthly.