The Opelousas courier., 1891-06-13
Nj OF THE DAY.

Dulism as a pillow case.-B0ston Courier
Ajai1-bird has 20 wings at all, but h
gets there just the same.-Drake's Maqa
zine.
Luck is a good thing to depend upor
if you have no desire to succeed Som
eroiM Journal.
+, Why is a defeated candidate like tn,
eartha Because he is fattened at tn,
polls.-7eras Siyftings.
Judge-"Single or married. prison
er signs deeply.) Oh, yes, l see. Mar
ried. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Emin Pasha has sent word from Zanzi.
bar that he is about to go to Ujiii, a place
famous for its jays.-PhIadelphia Ledger.
It is a curious fact that when one is
seized with a consuming passion ones
appetite fails miserably.- ST. Joseph News.
Bismarck has had a birthday and the
Emperor congratulated him by telegraph
| on being alive.-NeU Orleans Picoyune.
There is one business industry that
has some snap to it ever in bad times
the whip manufacture.-LowM Courier.
If SANDER did not hurt its victims
there would be no particular pleasure in
it for the slanderer.-Ne Orleans Picoy-
une.
Two Milwaukee dentists have dissolved
after a partnership of twenty-three years.
They could not pull together any longer.
-Statesman.
First Farmer--s'I suppose you heard
about the cyclone over here9" Second
Farmer-"Yes, we got wind of it,
Washington Post.
Reporter-"What shall I head this
bargain-counter story2" Editor-"Call
it AN Hour in Woman's Paradi -
Neso York Recorder.
The mar who ''feels himself to be diff
ferent from other men" shouldn't always
brag about it. Dime-museum freaks are
in the same fix. PUCK.
If you have anything to give, give it
to the "hail fellow, well met" If you
have anything to lend, lend it to some
body else.-Datlas Mews.
He's so afraid he won't offend
So long as he confines
Himself to censure, he'll pretend
To read between the lines.
Judge.
Mistress-"What would you do;
Bridget, if you could play the piano as
well as I canl" Bridget-"Sure, I'd go
o N learnin' until Icould play it dacently:"
-Munsey's Weekly.
"Why, Janet! What in the world is
the matter with Fido2" "He's got a
severe cold, dear. think I must have
left his muzzle off too suddenly, you
know. London Judy.
"Do you mean by this" said he;
t'that you wish me to cease calling
here7" t'Not at ALL" said she. "Papa
and mamma will always be glad to see
you. -Harper's Basar.
Babies are SO slow in learning to talk
because they have to devote so much of
their time and energy in trying to un-
derstand what in the world it is their
mothers say.---SomsroM Journal.
Son Jack, when young and wild of whim,
= u AOO pun q CnSCA Ou ultus
Now, older grown, he is more meek,
And begs me for a cheque a week.
Judge.
"Your brother, the dentist, is very
slow and torturing at pulling out teeth"
81 know he is, but you see he's rich
and only follows the business for the,
pleasure 1t gives him."-Fzegende Bzaet-
ter.
IT'D like to know why you hired a
young oma for a type-writerp de-
handed Mrs. Hildw Of her husband:
$50 / could have some one to dictate
TO-, replied the unhappy man. Chicago
Ne0s.
There is no person IN the world SO
self-conscious as the man who has lust
had his moustache shaved off, unless it
be the oma who found out that her
dress doesn't hang even.-Boston Tran
(Which n of us do you think the
nandsomeri" asked one of the two pretty
girls. ut is impossible for me to COM
pare you" said the diplomatic young
man. "You are both incompatible. -
Indianapolis journal.
"Mamma," said a ~precocious young
at the tea table the other evening,
lfter a long and yearning gaze toward a
,late of doughnuts, "Mamma, I think
could stand another one of those fried
loles. "-Drake's Magazine.
Mrs. de Kidd-"If o want a name
It once graceful, a~ristocratic and unique
or your baby, why don't you have it
opyrighteda Authors are entitled to a
ull right on the titles Of their own
works. Munsey's Weekly. =
In Court: eHave you anything to say
q your defense, prisoner2" tNothing, ].
our Honor, except that I made a mis-
AXE in the number of the house. I did
OF at all intend to break into that
ouse .'-Fiegende Blaetter. !
81 hear that Mrs. Barlow is disputing !
er late husbands will" "Why, I !.
1ought he left everything to her" $50 !
9 did, but she never let the old man !.
his own way. It's a matter of
with her.n-NeU FORK Sun. |
Ali in the Family: "You can't do any !
lsiness with me-" said the new settler :
the village doctor. 81 intend to be !
own doctor" aThat's ali right, re.
lrned the physician. .sLet me intro
you to my brother, the undertak. :
"-Ne0 York Recorder. 3
------ r
The Spanish Main. !.
B%uccaneering romances TEEN with s
iferences to the Spanish Main, vet how 9