The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

1t struck q HERALD reporter a few days ago
that the business of insuring horses lives
must be curious one, and he concluded his
experience would be incomplete without
trial at it. So he answered an advertisement
for canvassers of one Of these companies.
Proceeding to the number and street named
in the "ad, the reporter entered long hall
way at the eud of which he found snug
little Office in which was installed a neatly
dressed and business-like young man. Max
ing his business known, the reporter was in
terrogated as to his knowledge Of the equine
family in general.
He replied that he was and had long been
on terms of intimacy with every branch of
the family from the bucking broncho of the
far West, to the obstreperous Government
mule. He said he knew a cribber from a
kicker, and kicker from an animal with the
blind halts and that he could spot blind
horse on sight.
The reporter was forthwith engaged as an
agent or canvasser of the company and started
out to seek business insuring the lives of
horses. jackasses, mules, and mares. He was
first furnished with mass of "literature," as
the printed rate-tables, circulars etc., OF the
company are termed. He was also specially
enjoined not to insure any sort of animals but
horses, geldings, mares, mules, and jacks, and
given other necessary instructions.
The new agent struck out through that
section of the city Familiarity known in street
verpacular as Swampoodle.
The first victim ne encountered was q short,
rotund, and jolly-looking individual who
seemed to be the proprietor OF a jaded-looking
horse attached TO q vehicle which resembled
cross between a dayton wagon and an omni
bus. The agent approached the stout individ
ual with fear and trembling, but the fat man
gave him one of those great big, North Ameri-
can smiles that seemed to say 'Come on; you
are all right"
81 am agent for horse insurance company,
sir" began the reporter.
"Ah,' reassuringly said the fat man, his
smile broadening and deepening the while.
''Yes, and would like to insure that ami
mall" pointing to the jaded-looking horse.
SIT will cost you but two cents day, and you
will have the veterinary surgeons attendance
sickness, death, lightning, thunder, fire, and
everything in general
The fat man suddenly became interested,
and piled the reporter with many questions.
The latter talked on with the glibness Of
book agent until his fund Of knowledge con-
cerning the company was exhausted, and
then he read profusely from the literature" !"
After he had worn out his theme, which had
been fully padded and occupied an hours
time, the fat man blurted out:
swell, young man, ! guess l don't want
this hoss insured
''Why?" meekly rejoiDed the reporter.
"Well, you see there are about Ten reasons
why don't"
''What are they?'' queried the knowledge
seeking reporter, forgetting for the moment
that he was figuring in the category of an
insurance agent.
''The first reason is that the horse amt
mine, aud l guess it is not necessary to
burden your mind with the other nine''
Saying which, the fat man scrambled into
his pecular-looking vehicle, and the jaded-
looking horse ambled off down the street.
"Case number one dead failure" muir
INJURED the reporter as he started down II
street. After crossing Fifth street northeast, he
spied a man with Santa Claus whiskers, lead
ing along big brindle mule with noble ears
and treacherous-lookingh hind legs. He hailed
the mule man ana entered into conversation
with him.
81 would like to insure your mule"
"'Phwats that?"
''Insure him-put an insurance on his life.n
''And phwat do yeZ name by ensure ?"
''Why 10 insure him is to pay you certain
amount in the event of his death We pay
you, say $500 should the mule die by disease
or accident"
yon want to-put 5000 on him then"
swell, it will cost you some money to 90
into this thing. An initiation fee as 1t were.''
"Phwats that you're saying? 1t costs me
money does it. see now what you are get
ting at 60 long wild yez Ye are another
Of thin bunco men, and pye mind to put dc
cops on yeZ," and then with glare like ar
electric light the man with Santa Clau,
whiskers fastened his gaze on the reporter as
if trying to bore two holes through him with
his eyes and the new agent fled.
Further on the latter entered G. tenement
house, in the rear of which was a stable
Supposing, of course, that horses or mulet
were quartered in the stable, the reporter
opened fire on the lady of the house, portly
and apparently well-fed colored woman.
''Deed, boss,n she said, ~ amt got M
horses nor mules, but if you want TO yor
mought put some little ensurance on den
goats oh mine dats out dar grazing in d,
held."
Another individual was encountered who
was willing to have his Newfoundland dog in
sured. The experience was a breezy one
During the day nineteen persons were can
Vassed and out of that number the reporte
did not obtain a single insurance, although h
received several promises. In addition Il
the amusing experiences above, there wer
several of q more serious nature. He wa
chased out of one place by pair OF particu
larly vicious looking dogs. In another ma
threatened to jab him with pitchfork, an
he was grossly insuited in ave distinct in
stances. Altogether after the days work b
returned at night looking as though he ha
encountered a Kansas cyclone, and the cyclon
had come out on top.
Half Rates via B. a. o. X. II. to th
National Encampment of Union Vetera
u