The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-08


heard your sermon yesterday on Heaven.
You argue, think, that heaven is really
place. It think it ought to be place
too. I've been thinking about it al
night. I'm satisfied not c2ly that it is {
place, but I've got at the locality, or al
least have appropriated to it. I've rea
soned this out on purely scientific data
and here they are. We have an atmos.
phere, and they say it is from thirty.
three to forty-fve miles high Angel:
only live in heaven, and angels have
wings. If angels have wings, it's proof
that they must have an atmosphere te
fly in. Now, the only atmosphere WE
are sure Of is that around the earth
Therefore, putting all these facts and
conclusions together, I've proved to my
self that heaven must be from thirty.
three to forty-fve miles from the ground
we stand on.
On commencing my pedagogical career,
| rented room of Carroll. He owned al
that time quantity of real estate in
Jamestown, some of which, including
the premises l occupied, was falling
rapidly and literally on his hands. The
house lived in was propped up several
feet from the ground. The neighbors
chickens fed under this house from the
crumbs swept through the cracks in the
floor. 1t was an easy house to sweep
| clean. Rumor said that during my land
lords occupancy of these rooms many
chickens had strangely disappeared. and
that pistol shots had been heard from
the interior of the house. The floor
cracks did show powder marks, and there
was an unaccountable quantity of feath-
ers blowing about the yard. In CONVEX
sation with my landlord he admitted that
his boomerang could beat six shooter
in fetching chicken.
Then he showed me his boomerang
which was of accidental construction,
being the only remaining leg and round
of an oaken armchair. Properly SHE'D,
he said, it would kill chicken at twenty
yards. French Joe kept the grocery
next to Keefe's saloon, and it was in
"Jimtown" current report that Car
roll and Joe had once invited the Cath
Ole priest, Father A., from Sonora,
to dinner; that the backbone of this din
ner was a. duck; that at or about this
time Mrs. Hale, five doors down the
street, had missed one of her flock of
ducks; that on the morning of the din
ner in question strong SAVIOR of par
boiling duck permeated all that part of
Jamestown lying between Joe's and
Mrs. Hale's; that Mrs. Hale smelt it;
that, putting two and two-cause and
effect and her own suspicions-together
she armed herself with her bun tor
mentor fork and, going from her back
yard to the little outdoor kitchen in
Joe's back yard, found a pot over a fire
and her presumed duck parboiling in it;
and that, transfxing this duck on her
tormentor, she bore it home, and the
priest got no duck for dinner
CAROLS mortal aversion was the hog.
His favorite occupation for ten days in
the early spring was gardening, and his
front fence was lily secured against
hogs, for Carroll, though man of much
speculative enterprise, was not one whose
hands always seconded the work of his
head. There was not completed thing
on his premises, including well which
he had dug to the depth of twelve feet
and which he had then abandoned for
ever. The hogs would break through
his fence and root up his roses, and the
well caving in about the edges became
yawning gulf in his garden, and during
the rainy season it partly filled up with
water, and hog fell in one night and,
to CAROLS joy, was drowned.
Men did their best in the dead of a
rainy night to get the poor animal out,
but hog is not a being possessed of any
capacity for seconding or furthering hui
man attempts at his own rescue. So he
drowned, and was found the morning
after a grand New Years ball at the
Bella Union hall hanging by Joyces
clothesline over the middle Of the street
between the Bella Union and the Mag
nolia. The next night they put him Sec
reilly in the cart of fish pcddler who
had come up with salmon from the
lower San Joaquin, and this man I'M
Willingly hauled the hog out of town.
Carroll unfortunately allowed his
mind to wander and stray overmuch in
the maze Of theological mysteries and its
Ito him) apparent contradictions. He
Instituted private and personal quarrel
between himself and his Creator, and
for years he obtruded his quarrel into
all manner of places and assemblages.
He arrived at last at that point where
many do under similar circumstances
belief in total humiliation after death
and this serving to make him more mis-
cradle than ever his only relief was to
convert others to the same opinion and
make them as wretched as himself Oc-
casionally he succeeded. He came to
me one day and on his face was the grin
of tiend. I've got Cummings" said
he. Cummings thought this morning
he was good Methodist, but I've been
laboring with him for weeks. Eve con-
WINGED him of the falsity Of it all. l
knocked his last plank of faith from I'M
der him today. He hasn't now straw
to cling to, and he's as miserable as am"
But with Mullins" he remarked af-
terward, I've slipped up on him.
wrought three weeks with Mullins; took
him through the Bible, step by step
unconverted him steadily as we went
along-got him down to the last leaf in
the last chapter of the last book Of Rev
Citations, and there, fool like, let up on
him to go home to s2pper. And do you
know when | tackled him next morning
TO close out Mullins Faith in the religion
of his fathers, found Mullins in my
absence had got scared. He'd galloped
in belief way back to Genesis. and now