The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-11
BRIGHT BITS.

SUNDAY SCHOOL TEAcHER-Now, little boys
what do you know about Goliath?
Freddy Fangle-Piease, ma am, he was rocked
to sleep. Boston Traveller.
PHoToGRAPHER-I can take much better
picture of you IL you'll smile.
Customer-Y FOUL have to excuse me sir. I'm
prohlbitionist.-DstyoH Free Press.
WHEN on the redskins foot the shoe,
And not the moccasin is worn,
First there's discomfort: squeezed of toes;
Then comes the Indian corn.
Washington Star.
Mr.. SELPHEAYD-Let us have some trufies
with our steak.
Mr.. Bawnso-No; don't like truffles
Mr.. Selphmayd-You don't? Why, man
alive, they cost three dollars and alf!-P1tck
1T IS ABSURD to talk of the Mckinley bill
raising the price Of dress goods"
We'll, 1t does"
Not at all. 1 notice that ladies' evening
dresses, at least are as low ever. ''-PhiLadel-
phta Times.
A JUSTICE or THE PEACE in a county in Wis
conSin has had $40 appeals taken on his decis-
ions during the last six years, aud only one of
them failed to be sustained. He started out to
decide cases according to common sense. -
Detroit Free Press.
G. W. P. SENDS to the Journal the shortest
letter ever written containing the entire alpha
bet The epistls OF which he is the author has
but one letter duplicated, the letter "u." 1t
reads as follows: ''Quiz Jack; thy frowns yex
G. ID. Plumb. "-Boston Journal.
Mrs. DE SoUR (angrily)-I want you to keep
your dog out of my house, Mrs. De Smart. It's
full of fieas
Mrs De Smart-Mercy on me! Fidol Come
here, sir! Don't you go into that house again.
It's full of feas.-NeU York Weekly
THE CUSTOM of the Japanese in not permit
ting a father TO see his child until it Is three
months old was founded upon the idea that the
youngster wouldn't know his dad at an earlier
age. Having never seen him, how could he
know him at three monthsl is a question the
Japs entirely Observation-Disclosures Free Press.
A MEMBER of an opera house orchestra has
composed "a very pretty polonaise." Now, if
| he can only induce certain members of the
| opera company to wear it. he will have done
something toward elevating the STAGE He
| should also compose mantilla for the fashion
able ladies' who occupy the boxes.-Norristoion
| Herald.
| OUR ESTEEMED CONTEMPORARY the Nelps talks
editorally Of the worm which will eventually
| turn when 'trodden under the iron heel of the
| remorseless hand of fate" This smile il evil
| IDENTIFY mixed. The worm-as the Netos will OBJ
serve when II oonsults the authorities-turns
when bruisenIby the serpent's heel, or some.
/ thing of that sort Chicago Journal.
l BRlGGs-While Robinson was reading poem
of his the other night at the Canvas Club, a
| lady in the audience tainted dead away. Robin
/ son had a hard time of bringing her to.
| Griggs-I don't see what Robinson had to do
| with it. should have thought some of the au-
dience would have helped her.
| Briggs-They left before it happened Hdr-
| per's Bdsdr ##
| AT THE PosroFF1cE Please sir would you
| see if you have letter for Marie Schirmer?
"A business letter or a love letter."
"A business letter"
| 'No, there is none to that name"
| A quarter of an hour after, Would 1t be too
| much trouble for you to see whether there may
| not be one among the other leCtersg"-Fl File
| oende Btdtter.
4
A New YEAR CoLLoQUY on Chestnut Street,
| Youth in new suit TO evident tailor-Tell you
what, I'll give you $50 watch and Wen call it
| square.
Evident Talor--Let me have it.
Youth Well, youth have to wait till the close
| of the fair-but it's all right-here's my ticket
| for the chance--prettiest watch you ever saw =
| Philadelphia Record.
| ''IT is really hard now to know what to do
| with ones children. I think we will send little
| Emil to the Polytechnic and let him go into the
| railto DAD business"
We'll. I should be very careful before decid.
! ing on that You see, he might get to be a
! statioumaster and have to live in the station,
and then suppose his wife could not bear the
| sound of the engine whistlel That would be
| very bad. ''-FlieqendeB Ldtter.