The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-06-05

daughters, who mounted the hOuSetOps
to see the surrender, had never looked
fairer. The old folks came too, and
among them were several war SCARED
heroes who had fought gallantly at Mon
mouth and Yorktown. These brave
sons of rs took no part in the demon.
stration, but an honored bench was set
apart for their exclusive use on the pi
azza of Sile Smiths store.
At precisely 8 o'clock, by the school
masters new "Lepeen" watch, the Amer
lean and British forces marched on to
the village green and placed themselves
in battle array, reminding the spectator
of the time when
Brave Wolfe drew up his men
In style mos. pretty,
On the Plains of Abraham
Before the city.
The character Of Washington was as
signed to Squire Wood, we'll to do
and influential farmer, while that of
Cornwallis had been given to the village
lawyer, a kind hearted but rather pom,-
ous person, whose name was Caleb Jones.
Squire Wood, the Washington of the
occasion, had met with many unexpected
difficulties in preparing his forces, and
in his perplexity he had emptied not only
his own canteen but those of most of his
aids. The consequence ewas-mortffying,
as it must be to all true Americans
blushing as do to tell it, Washington
at the commencement of the mimic
struggle was most unqualifedly drunk.
The sham fight commenced. Bang!
bang! bang! from the Americans -bang!
bang! bang! from the British. The bangs
were kept hotly up until the powder gave
out. and then came the order to charge
Hundreds of wooden bayonets flashed
tiercely in the sunlight, each soldier tax
ing very good care not to hit anybody.
THAI (hic) right" shouted Washing
ton, who during the shooting had been
racing his horse wildly up and down the
line "thaz right! Gin it to 'em Cut
their tarnal heads off,
"On, Romans," shrieked CORVALLIS,
who had once seen theatrical perform
ance and remembered the heroic appeals
of the Thespian belligerents, ION to the
fray! No sleep till mornin."
"Let eout all their bowels" yelled
Washington, land down with taxation
on tea"'
The fighting now ceased, the opposing
forces were properly arranged, and Corn
wallis, dismounting, prepared to present
his sword to Washington according to
programme AS he walked slowly to-
wards the Father of His Country he re-
hearsed the little speech he had commit
ted for the occasion, while the illustrious
being who was to hear it was making
desperate efforts to keep in his saddle.
Now he would wildly brandish his sword
and narrowly escape cutting off his
horses ears, and then he would fall sud-
denly forward on to the steeds neck,
grasping the name as drowning men
seize hold of straws. He was giving an
inimitable representation of Toodles on
horseback. All idea of the magnitude
of the occasion had left him, and when
he saw CORVALLIS approaching, with
slow and stately step, and sword-hilt ex-
tended toward him, he inquired:
"What'n devil you want, any (hic)
how.'
General Washington, said Cornwall
lis in dignifed and impressive tones, Il
tender You my sword. I need not in
form you, Sir, how deeply
The speech was here suddenly cut
short by Washington, who, driving the
spurs into his horse, playfully attempted
to run over the commander of the British
forces. He was not permitted to do this,
for his aids, seeing his unfortunate con-
ha hxy fhn 1>vtI Ia
Strengthened Washington up in his sad
die, and requested CORVALLIS to proceed.
General Washington" said Cornwall
lis, "the British Lion prostrates himself
at the feet of the American Eagle!'
Eagle? EAGIE!" yelled the infuriated
Washington, rolling off his horse and
hitting Cornwallis a frightful blow on
the head with the fat of his sword, ''do
you call me a Eagle, you mean, sneakin'
cuss?'
CORVALLIS remained upon the ground
only moment. Smarting from the
blows he had received he arose with an
entirely unlocked for recuperation on
the part of the fallen, and in direct def
ance of historical example; in spite of
the men of both nations, he whipped the
immortal Washington until he roared
for mercy.
The Americans, at first mortified and
indignant at the conduct of their chief
now began to sympathize with him, and
resolved to whip their mock foes in earn
est They rushed tiercely upon them,
but the British were really the stronger
party and drove the Americans back.
Not content with this, they charged
madly upon them and drove them from
the field from the village in fact.
There were many heads damaged, eyes
draped Ill mourning, noses fractured and
legs lamed-it is u wonder that no one
was killed outright
Washington was confined to his house
for several weeks, but he recovered at
last. For time there was a coolness
between himself and Corvallis, but
they finally concluded to join the whole
county in laughing about the surrender.
They live now. Time, the artist,
has thoroughly whitewashed their heads,
~