Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-08-19

That Is the reason why Mrs. Tenant
afterward spoke SO bitterly of her bill at
the Vendome. Her guest had done her
up as we say here in America, especially
among the lower classes, if one may
speak in that way here and think one
may If one pays ones bills
Hamilton suffered most severely in
the west. He found no congenial society
there, all the Englishmen of his stripe
having been hanged on their arrival, or
on most anything else in fact that came
handy in prairie country where timber
is rare and hard to get hold of.
lie bears down especially hard on Col
orado Springs and Denver, two of the
most delightful cities in the world, for
know, having visited Paris, London and
East Saginaw within the past two years,
paying my hotel bills and either black
ing my own boots or gladly putting up
| for it.
call the attention of every crowned
head in Europe to the fact that while at
their tables did not ask what was COM
ing next or what their victuals cost
them laid down. | am not regarded AZ
a stickler for social high church or mon
key business when | make a formal cali
on Il monarch or p. p. g. cali on roy
atty, bnt when ! cease to pay for the pol
ish that giints and glitters on my bright
young bunions, or fork over my liquor
bills for W, 9. T. u. to put up for,
may my right hand cleave to the roof Of
my mouth, and an inceused people play
shinney DER my forgotten grave.
Mr. Aide did not like the surprise
| party" of the rancho out west. He will
like it less the next time he is invited.
Western people are informal, but their
hearts are warm. They are hospitable
to "A degree that would naturally sur
prise and unman real man for the mo
ment. 1t would not affect Mr.. Aide es-
peciaiiy, however
But the west hates to have an honored
guest walk Oh its wishbone with Mexi-
can spurs. 1t feels hurt and resents it.
| have lived nearly all my life in the
west, and | say without fear of success
full contradiction that any mani do
not refer now to Mr. AId6--who has
been the guest Of the west, and who then
seeks to earn eight dollars and forty-five
cents by running down his host, is not
only cad and n triumphant ass, but he
is unworthy in every possible way on
earth. and totally disappointing except
in the way Of stimulation to a tardy to-
matO crop.
After being guest in the American
"parlour' he turns to and seeks to be-
mire and besmirch, by satire and such
things. the furniture and decorations OF
his illguided hostess, whose error was in
not showing him TO the sty and letting
hun look over the album.
Possibly | may be charged with speak
ing too directly on this subject, but it is
only my own opinion. | do not hold the
paper responsible, and if Mr.. Aide does
not like it he may readily reach me by
post.
He says we pronounce vase as we dc
gdze. This is not true have not pro
nounced it that way now for over year
Mr.. Aide is too severe on us. He saw
onr beautiful scenery whenever the rail
fO3dS SdNt MN idSScS' anu nc WINS SH
tertained by those who had never seer
that kind Of fauna before, and he went
home aud tried 10 make a Rudyard Kip
ling Of himself, thinking that he was
critic when it was really colo that aile(
him.
He did not like it because our ladiei
did not allow him 10 see them work
This was in Difference to him, for no ont
ever saw him work. He says he pre-
sumes that ladies here do secretly work
but he missed the pleasant litter of EN-
ployment
IL he will come among us again a
some time in the future he will probably
notice the pleasant litter of employment
and he will furnish the most Of it himself
Afterward detected Englishman ma.
be seen going home with his paDcreas II
the morning paper.
He did not like our theaters; especial
those, | Judge. who did not remembe
him at the door, and who did not fee
like giving him box because he con