St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-12
MIR. AND MRS. BowsER.
The Head of the House Tries Put
ting Down Carp cts.

stead this afternoon" said Mrs. BoWser
after dinner the other evening.
did, eh? Just week since you
picked it out, isn't it?'
"Only four days"
Curious how everybody takes ada
vantage of you. They wouldn't have
dared fool with me that way"
"That-that carpet isn't down yet"
There's another specimen of your
style of running things! The Internal
agon'
''Oh, no, dear. They said some time
this week"
And they'll fool around till Septem.
Der! Mrs. Bowser, l don't want to find
fault with you, but 90 wish you knew
more about business. You let every4
body walk Oh you as if you were a worm
of the earth"
But can l bring the men up here?"
she protested.
"How is it that everything l order
gets here on the minute? Because
Mrs. BOWser. L do business in BUSH
ness way. If l should let you have full
swing here where do you suppose we'll
land at the end of six months? How
ever. l will show those carpet men that
they can't fool with Jonas j. Bowseri
no matter what excuses they can palm
off on his wife. I'll slip up and put
that carpet down In seven minutes"
''You-you don't mean it!' Shs
gasped.
Certainly do. 1 don't care about
saving dollar or two, but | propose ia
assert my independence. Where's tho
hammer"
Il wish you wouldn't. A carpet hal
got to be nicely put down."
Exactly. l have seen one or two
carpets in my life! Where's the
tacks?"
'But 1 know how it will end" she
persisted. You'll get tired out, GET
mad. and then"
And then. what?"
"But, remember. it is against my
wishes. IT anything happens don't
blame me-"
when did ever blame you? When
did anything ever happeH?"
She gave it up. and he removed his
coat, vest, necktie and collar and disapt
peared up stairs. The carpet lay in a
heap on the floor, and lie unrolled it,
pushed up his sleeve and was about to
begin work when Mrs. BOwSer opened
the door and observed: j.
Il don't see how you are to get il
down without a Stretcher."
perhaps not. There are a great
many things in this world for you and
every other wife to learn, Mrs. Bowser."
She retired and two minutes later
heard the sound of the tack hammer.
She stood it for five or SIX minutes and
then went up and looked in on him
again. He had got the carpet tackled
along one side, but she called out:
''Why, you are lacking that carpet on
the bare floor! There's the lining OIL
the window-sill! You'd have made a
nice job of it, wouldn't yOu?"
He couldn't crawl out of it, and he
contented himself with rising up and
pointing Sternly towards the door. She
went out, but listened and heard the
rip! rip! rip! as he pulled up his work.
1t was a quarter of an hour before she
dared enter again, and then it was in
response to yell which made the cook
drop seven plates and the dog howl
mournfully.
"W-what is it?" she gasped, as she
rushed in to find Mr.. BowSer standing
on one leg against the wall.
''WhaL is what?"
"Why, you whooped like an Indian.
Your face is as red as fire, and someA
things happened"
''NIrs. BOWser. [ am not in the habit
of whooping," he sternlY replied, land
nothing has happened. When L want
your valuable services I'll call to yOu.,
The exclamation you heard probably
came from some one in balloon pass
ing over the house."
He had hammered away for about ten
minutes when she looked in on him
again. He had three sides of the carr
pet down and was tackihg the fourth.
Just as she reached the head of the
stairs he rolled backward out of the
bedroom door with suppressed yell
and great crash.
"What on earth are you trying to do.
Mr.. Bowser?" she asked.
"YOu up here again?" he shouted in
reply. didn't | tell you to 90 down
stairs and stay there? Does it take
100000 people to put down one con-
founded old carpet?"
''But can't help?"
mo, you can't help! Pll put the
thing down alone or pull the side of the
house down. No wonder the carpet
man dasn't come up here to lay it3
They cut it foot too short on this side
and a foot too long on the othert
Lemme catch 'em around the house and
PH!-What'S the matter now?"
.'It's got to be turned around! You
are trying to fit it the wrong wayP'
mo, ain'tV
why. of course you are! It's ex-
actly fit the other way! l told you
not to do it. | knew you d."
Mrs. Bowser," he began. as he
crossed his hands behind his back and
gazed at her with benign expression,
"Do run this house or do you?'
"Well, l suppose you no."
Every we'll. When man was created,
the idea was that he should run the
much more than woman. Ii l am not
competent, however-if you have put
down fifteen OF twenty million carpets,
and | never saw one in my life, Whyt
you'd better finish this Job and ask the
court to appoint guardian over mel"
Hadn't you better wait till morning
to finish lt?''
mot by jug-full. I'll put 'er down
if it kills me stone dead"
He banged the door after her as she
went out, and when he grabbed hold OF
the carpet and ripped it up it seemed IS
if the house lifted up foot or more.
Darn We, Pll wall0p We to rags to pay
for this!" she heard him growl as she
listened at the door.
He whirled the carpet around the
1lgUb WAY. upScG lllo ouuCOl vi tdChos
and punched the lining all up in heap;
and as he moved about he suddenly ut
tered another Whoop. and hObbled about
on one leg. She knew this was the last
straw and she fed. On her way down
stairs she heard the window go up and
next moment something scraped along
side the house and fell with ''ker
whop7 on the iron fence. 1t WASN'T
Mr.. Bowser. He came down stairs with
his eyes as big as onions and his face as
red as paint, and as soon as he could
get his breath he shouted:
''Your old carpet is down, Mrs. Bow
ser, down out of the window"
Didn't tell you before you begun,
that -"
mo! You wanted it down.
Didn't | say you'd get mad and
blame --?"
Never! Mrs. Bowser, this is the last
time lever lift my hand to do anything
around this house. Pve rubbed more'n
yard of hide off my knees, skinned
both elbows and driven 1900 tacks into
my feet, besides getting crick in my