The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-01-08
WIT AND HUMOi;.

-ANCU 1 tCNy"NS"
Marrying rich widows, like drink
ing liquor is often done solely for the
effects. "-7eraS SyttHgs.
A woman has been known to bend q
mans will during life and break 1t
after his death. - Bingharatoa LeadST.
1t takes n good deal of money to
keep rich mems sons going; hut 1t
doesn't take them long to get there
Pick.
There's time for everything. TAX
ing Oft your boots after you get in bed
indicatesa high old time. -B'"gh"D!Eon
Leader.
Hello, old man! Where did you
spring from? On pleasure beat l
suppose" No, nay boy. on pleasure
broke st Joseph Neacs.
Your habits will be the death of
me-" said Mrs. Hirshley. Well. your
costumes are running me-" retorted
Mr.. IN. Y. Herald.
Keep your troubles to yourself;
when you tell them you are taking up
the time of the man who is waiting to
tell his.-Atchison Globe.
You don't catch me ever getting
drunk again" why not?" be
cause while on my last spree paid all
my debts. Fliegende Btatter.
When q wise mau said: "Discre-
ton is the better part of valor." ill the
towards in the world found a motto
for their caps.-AtchiSon Globe.
There never was a mans prayer that
did not have himself in it, nor q
woman's that did not refer to either a
man or a child.-AtchiSon Globe.
Mr.. N. Peck-'In all the years we
have been man and wife" Mrs.
n Peck Husband and wife. Nathan;
husband and wife. "-AtchiSOn Globe.
1t has been limited that the touching
ballad. Here Lies an Actor" was
dedicated to the man who is constantly
talking about his salary H'GshImgtO"
Post
New York is being treated to q Ger
man play called die Wilde Jagd."
An adaptation of Ten Nights in n
Barroom," probably. - Indianapolis
Journal.
do you not feel the eloquence of
nature here on this glorious crag?" she
murmured. Yes" he answered, II
do. The mountains peak. "-PhIladeI-
phiG Times.
Suooks-"There were very few peo-
pie at the funeral of DR.. Soonover."
| Skaggs-'No wonder; hardly any OF
his patients have survived him.
IeraS SJti"gs.
Most people seem to think a rumor
is like subscription list. Every time
it comes to them they add something
to it and pass it along to the next
Boston Tra0elter.
Daughter-''Why is it, ma. that a
honeymoon is supposed to last only
three months?" Ma-''At the end Of
three months the quarterly bills come
in. ~ T. Weekly.
Husband (gloomily)-"I lost CSC
last night playing poker" Wife
And yet you can't afford to buy me q
bonnet9" Husband-"Well, l should
say not. "--Rachet.
You can't peel the bark off the hon
est Watchdog that bays deep-mouthed
welcome as you draw near home at
a. N. however much you may desire
to- Washington Star.
Il love to sit before a blazing fire
and watch the figures in the fame.
"Vhell," said Isaacs, Diner pleasure
ohf dot depends LARGELY on dher IN
suranze."-N. Y. Sun.
Giles-"How is it you didn't sent
that borrowed money you promised
when you knew l was siek?" D.
Jinks-"You see. l heard you were
likely to die .-A"nss'ys Weekly.
Teacher-"Now,c children, which stat,
produces the most corn?" Pupil
Kentucky" Teacher" Wrong. Why
do you say Kentucky?" Pupil-''Ken
lucky produces the most kernels"
Anerica.
Proud Mamma-'Look. Uncle John
isn't baby the perfect image of hi!
papa?" Uncle John-''Yes, yes. my
dear, but never mind. He may out
grew it as he gets older. Journal o
Education.
First Band Leadcr-"Tm going t.
give a series of sacred concerts Sun
days" Second B. L.-"What will b,
the special sacred feature of them?'
First B. L-"O, I'll omit the usual in
Permission for beer."-W West Shore.
Kind dame, can yol
give me place to lay me down t.
die?" The Kind Dame-''Certainlv
Just go up to the barn. My husband
is the county coroner an he hain't hat
a case for month. "-BrooklyH Life.
Mrs. Nutgall-''What are you writ
ing, John?" Nutgall-"A purely bust
ness letter, my dear. BY the way, how
do you spell ''inamorata?" Mrs. N
(rising)-''With -. Til show
you. you wretch!"- Boston Traveller.
One Matron-"No; l do not allow
my husband to address me by M
Christian name" Another Matron-
Il shouldn't mind that at all. It is TIT
unchristian names he breaks out will
every once in while that object to.
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. links (meaningly)-"I asked
DR.. Aquapura if whisky was good TO
colds and he said No" Mr.. Jinks-
We'll. don't believe I've got q COLI
anyhow. It's something else. Di'
the doctor mention what disease whis
ky was good for?"-M y. Weekly.
Watts Now. if / understand cor
rectly, the first principle of socialism
is to divide with your brother man.
Potts-"Then you don't understand i
correctly. The first principle of SO
cialism is to make your brother divid
with you."-LndiG'sapotis Journal.
P. T. Barnum says that the press
pulpit and circus have worked to
gether to civilize. enlighten and rais'
the moral standard of the world. Th,
press. however. doesn't wait until tn
jokes are forty years old before |
springs them upon the public.-Nor
rtStoUn Herald.
Now. children, tell you, you mus
never steal. When you want new
clothes the way to do is to buy them OIL
credit. Then you will always be wei
clothed; you won't have paid out an,
money for them. and you will Away
be looked on as honest, respectable
people. "-Fliegeedc BIatter.
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