Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1891-12-18
BRAINS In THE FEET.
The Trouble Some People Have In Keen
ing Their Feet In Proper Position

The Trouble Some People Have In Keep
ing Their Feet In Proper Position.
| That's right my son, like to see YOU
| Sunday morning, when your on the road.
and far, far from home, sit at the front
window of the hotel which your honor
with your patronage, at the expense of the
house, and stick you feet on the window
sill. You should get them, if possible. a
| littla higher than your head. That gives
you dignifed, if not picturesque, appear
ance from the street, and better than that.
it tends to increase the rush of the brains
to YOUR head, where. no doubt there is
ample accommodation for them.
But before leaving the subject Just look
about you and see hoy many men In this
room have their feet on the floor. few
have one foot there, but that is because
no man except Turk can get both feet ON
his knees at the same time and feel com
Portable. See, there is man who wants
to write letter he has to appoige to the
men behind their Sunday newspapers for
asking them to make enough clearing be-
their hoofs on the the writing table for
him to settle with sheet of paper.
The men with the feet give way for
him, but you can see DO heir count nances,
when you catch glimpse of them, that
/ they consider the letter writer an uwarran-
| table intrusion at such time and place.
One night a couple of years ago was
sitting on the platform of the Acadmey of
music in Philadelphia at college COM
mencement. There was another stuffed
figure at my right and real man on nv
| left. The real man-and he was a real
man. loo, bashful as he was wise and good
whispered to me by and by, while he
| gripped his captive ankle with the air of
man who was going to hold on to his leg
all night if they killed him for it.
Say, I'm In an awful fix"
"What Is the matterp"
Why, I'm down on the programme for the
next speech and my foot has gone so sound
asleep can feel it prickle clear up my
back whenever | try to move it"
"Oh, WELL" | told him 500 hingly,
don't worry, the orchestra is going to
play after this speech and the noise Of the
| trombone will wake your foot up
I'm afraid not, " he said, II always
have to stamp it awake and it has such
awful commissions when it is coming out
Of sleep it must have the nightmare"
well" | suggested, cant you get
! excited and stamp and jump around in
your speech ?"
No." he said, Il cant, because if I
try to move around on this leg / will fall
down. What shall! do?"
| suggested that when The present
speaker sat down we should applaud him
most vigorously, clap our hands and
stamp like fends
at will be horribly rude and out of
place before this refined audience" he
said, but it's my only hope; I'll do
it."
But the man who was talking WAS
fearful sort of exhorter, who always put
the tremojo stop on when he reached the
closing lines of his speech and he turned
IN and told of young girl who died Of
an lncurable disease, which took fatal
form some time before her demise and
the last line of bis speech was her whisper
ed farewell to her lover.
The house was still as death when he
sat down. The man beside me heard
his name called by the president; he cast
a reproachful, de.paring glance at me, a..
though it was all my fault, and slowly
pushed his foot of its perch 1t struck
the b or with resounding crash that
staI tied the audience out of its melting
mood; an oath wouldn t have sounded
much coarser than that stomp"
Then he stumped his way up to the
readlng desK, hitting his right foot high
IN the air at every step, like horse with
the string halt, and we could hear the
sympathetic whispers along the front
seats.
why, he's lame?''
And everybody locked so sorry for him,
for be was fine looking man but for that
deformity, and all would have gone well
# he had only heard what they said. Bot
be didn't, and go when he had shaken his
leg little while behind the desk and had
stood on 1t carefully, he got it woke up
and warmed up, and began to move about
gracefully and strike effective attitudes
Then everybody knew what had been
the matter when he came forward, and
good gracious! how they did laugh! 1t
| confused and bothered him so that he for
got his spiech and maundered around,
saying all sorts of pIatitudes, and driving
singular nouns and plural verbs tandem,
and finally came back to his seat so mad
at me that we weren't good friends again
| for nearly year, and In not quite sure
| that he has entirely forgiven me yet.
You see, my boy, some of MANS brains
are In his feet after aIl.-RoBERT j.
| BURDETTE.