Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-05-20
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

PROFESSOR" the bones of the
skull" Ratified Student-"O Indeed,
sir, I've got them in my head, but just
can't think Of their names, sir. "-Phild-
delphia Record.
CONE thing / like about our new
man." said member of the firm to his
partner, els that he's reliable. You can
always tell what he is going to do next"
Aud what is that?" "Nothing. y
Washington Post.
Miss De PLATTE cobb, Lott & Co.
have some remarkable bargains at their
French print counter" Old Lady
"Land sakes! Have these titled for
eigners got to offering themselves on
bargain counters ?''-Good News.
you'll have to pay half-fare for that
boy, madam" said conductor. "He
is certainly over five years old.'
CONE of the features of the evening
was that beautifully decorated jag pre-
scented to Col. Brimm," was the way it
went into the paper, and the reporter is
looking for some way of spelling out the
letter u when he wants to write the
word ''iug. - Washington Post.
WE are forging along toward the time
of year when it will be in order to IN
form our national bird, the mosquito,
that he is persona non grdta.-DetroH Free
Press.
We are told that some day the lion
and the lamb will lie down together,
but at this season it is the butcher who
Is doing the most lying about The lamb.
-Yonkers Statesman.
You see, it was this way The india
rubber man struck the ossified man and
broke him." ''Wbat did he strike him
for ?' Give dollars When the man
ager found it out the india-rubber man
was bounced. "-hadianapoEs Journal.
"Indeed he isn'tp' replied the pas
senger. Il have taken that child free
for over six years, I'd have you under
stand, and l don't intend to begin pay
ing fare for him THE Epoch.
"WHAT will you take for that horse O
yours, BleIkins?" 1.-TWO hundred and
fifty dollars" 1.-TWO hundred and fifty
dollars Why, man, you told me last
week that you were disguised with him,
know / did, but l have found man
now who wants him "-SOmeruiUe Jour-
nal.
DID you see the notice I gave your"
said the editor to the grocer. eyes; ;
and [ don't want another. The man
who says I've got plenty Of sand, that
the milk | sell is of the first water, and
that my butter is the strongest in the
market may mean well, but he is not
the man [ want to fatter me a second
time. "-Harper's Bazaar.
In PHILADELPHIA.-Pa tient-"Doc
[ must get away from here. / want
more quiet and rest" Doctor-"Good
God You're lost-lost. "-Haruard
Ldmp0O1.
HARAssED FATHER.-"My boy, your
tastes will be your ruin. Nothing seems
too expensive for you. This thing has
got to STOP" Extravagant Son Qanguid-
iy)-"Can't do it, governor; must keep
right on. Going to marry the dearest
girl in the world. Pittsburg Bulletin.
'.HULLo, Cadley," said Bronson, en-
tering the restaurant, "how are you ?"
'Pretty WE'LL" "What are you doing
now PSI ''Well, when ] came in here
two hours ago [ was not in business;
but I've changed some since; Pm a
waiter just now" -Harper's Bazar.
AFTER DINNER.-"And now, Edward
put on your dressing-gown and your
slippers, sit down in this big arm chair,
and have a real comfortable smoke 7"
"What, you are going to let me smoke
in the parlOr? | must run over to the
club and let the fellows know what an
angel / have for wife Good-by,
dearest r'-Frons FZiegerade Bketter, for the
Ecening Post.