St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-18


4 One of the Members of the St Paul Press
| club sauntered into its luxurious suite of
/ apartments i'll Lifts block yesterday, wearing
| a respondent Derby indicative of recent
| purchase lie seated himself in an unoccu-
| pied chair, following out in this manner
1 lifelong habit of purpOsely avoiding seating
himself in chairs occupied at the time by
| other parties Then he lighted u cigarette
| Oh the reverse end feom tbs one which he
placed between his cherry lips. thus instinct
| lively INDUCING another habit acquired in
! early youth. Then he east his eyes contem-
piativelY upon the ara5esque groupings on
| the dado. At that instant young man. with
Il long-drawn sigh, hastily paid the oaken
| sub-treasury for fourteen games of bottle
pool which he had inadvertently lost in mo-
ments of deep abstraction. and approached
the new arrival
Got new hat eh:" inquired the ex-pool
player.
Yes replied The youth with the cigarette.
''IOu remember that cady l was wearing
| Yesterday
Il do; but / remember it more i'll sorrow
| than IN anger. Do you know. l have seen
old hats on telegraph wires that were more
Ell regle and sciatica than that hat"
We'll, last evening dined at n hotel and
! when came out l discovered that some one
had taken that Old, autiquated. back num-
Der hat and left in its place beautiful new
| Derby. You see the unpleasant position il
which was placed"
THAT is the hSt you have on suppose?"
NO; the hat WAS Il triilc small for me;
! about one size; but it was as new and as
| fresh as daisy. l looked into the crown
| and saw the name of the hal purveyors. So
this morning Strolled down in their direc-
| ton, entered the store and said:
"'Eh-;his hat appears to be a trlfe-just
| trifie small for me- or else I've acquired the
| big head since purchasing it, Never heard
of a case of Uranium elephantiass. did your
Yes have replied the gcntlemanly al
tendant Men have bought hats of us in the
evening who were obliged to put them on
| with shoehorn the next morning. Espe-
cialiy IS this epiiemic current during the
| holidays. But you do not at all resemble the
patients | speak Of. Let me see your hat;
size 2; here's a is 10 trouble at ali to change
it. We arc here to accommodate the public.
! Thanks for custom. Good morning"
The Nant@to Review, published by j. C.
| Wise & Sons issued a handsome mammoth
number last week, filled flush to the editorial
| scuppers with choice. carefully prepared
| matter and advertisements The Review,
the Oldest Democratic paper in Blue Earth
4 Guilty.. Is "a NfSulb 10 us pIODrIHtOTS anu tLc
| people among whom it generously circuates.
\
Chicago confesses that the most startling
bid for the national political conventions
/ comes from san Francisco. That city has
raised funds sufficient to justify an offer to
pay the round trip fare of every delegate in
J attendance. But judging from recent spas
| modic flops OH The part OF certain Repuoi
1 cans in the Northwest, virtually pledged to
Minneapolis, san francisco has also raised
| another fund which is now being circulated
sub rosa and placed where il Will do the
! most good.
7 The Democratic party is preparing TO put
| tin ear on RepublicaniSm ill 1892. But il
! will not be American lin, because there isnot
l enough of itin the country TO cover the ave-
rage Republican ear.
A fire broke out the other day in the base
meat of the Chicago postofice building. All
Chicago was thrown into panic by the fear
that it wouldn't burn down.
B. Harrison lahors under the deluSion that
Omaha would be suitable city in which to
hold the National Republican convention.
| That Scotch whisky is getting in its work.
Republican paper in the Democratic
state of Missouri publishes cartoon sub
lined with the legend: Up to Nov. over
S222,01l0 ODD were sent to the United States TO
nay for grain" Yes, and every bushel of
This : - 030.0]0 worth of grain was carried to
EUROPE in foreign bottoms TO the absolute
exclusion OF American ships which the policy
of McKinleyism has driven from the seas.
Uncle Jerry Rusk may proceed to extremes
| in taxing raw hides. if he wants TO. but the
minute he lays hand on Massachusetts beans
| the fur viii fly.-Many Bostenians.
The New York Recorder asserts that Mar
| tin j. Russell has been with the Chicago
| Times for twenty years as an editorial writer
| How about Mr.. RuSselI's extended Irritation
with the Chicago Herald, beginning some
! eight years ago, and tapping over into sew
| eral seasons:
There is no reason why the feminine por-
| ton Of our population should not rejoice
greatly and eat turkey with a relish one
| week from next Thursday. And the reason
| why they should so happily feicitate them
selves on Thanksgiving day is this: Care
fully compiled statistics reveal the fact that
in the United States there are about 10000
| more men than women. Cold facts con
! clusively prove that only in the niied States
Canada and Australia are the males in the
| majority. Great Britain contains 100000
| more women than men ana boys. In Ger
| many the number of females in excess of
males is about 100000. In Sweden aud
| Norway the feminine element shows a major
I;y of 2s0 900: in ustro-Hungary 500 009, and in
Denmark, 61,C01. Thus it will be seen, in this,
the most favored country on earth. the chance
for a moderately good-lookng OF we!I-be-
hayed young lady becoming an old maid is
| comparatively slender. In facI she can toy
with few hearts beating under cutaway
vests in all the exhlarating excitement of
| Irritation for number of seasons without
| throwing away the ultimate chance of wife
! hood. MetaDhoricalls. the American girl can
| throw All ardent wOoer over the gas Jet, pass
7 him TO first base, and get him around back to
the home plate laugh at his passion aud
| romp with mis- young affections until he feels
| as though he had collided with hollow
! moekery III the shape OF q Iailor-made domo-
! sci. All this an American girl can do, and
still come under the wire neck ahead of her
| European sisters handicapped as they are by
! the preponderance of their sex over the males.
/ From this showing there are grave fears that
/ Europe may. in the course of time, develop
/ that rare specimen of moral obliquity, the
| male airt.
! So Have We.
/ New York Press.
''She may be well educated. as you
I say, but she uses very singular express
| SionS