The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-02-07
EiyNN
The WHY Eai!or seoofs Hot shot NJ
the Learned Professor.

N"IN
! more rotoriety than he anticipated
or wanted. through his recent exploit
} before the Southeas; Missouri Teach
: crs' Association. The graphic cen
: d~ensation of his brilliant karaiigue
published in thu EGzeife has crowned
the professors brows with a halo of
immortal glory. Still the professor is
dissatisfied. and grumbles that bis halo
doesn't IT MIN. II point of fact he is
kicking and bucking like q Mexican
bronchO. We do Eot exchange with
either of tho Cape papers. bet soTe
! other papers of Southeast Missouri,
among themthc IrOnton Register, cop
led the Ga hes report Of the pro-
f~cSsor's phiiipic, and so it finally ne
andcred into the Omnivorous columns
Of the Cape Girar,icar DEMOCRAT,
where it was duly spread before the
as.onished eyes of the unsorhisticated
citizens of that remote burg. Its pub
I~Ica.iIr in the DAILY DEMOCRAT
called forth an invitation from Rev.
I. +. G. James. pastor Of the Protest
ant Episcopal Church of Cape Girar-
dean. and other Protestant clCrgyu.en
of that city. published in the DEMO
GRAFT of Tho ''cxt day, addressed to
tho professor and calling on him to
publish his immortal pamphlet so
that they could scientifically ascertain,
~ ocular demonstration, whether he
really had said the words accredited
to him in tho GG=.t'e'S report. But,
it seems. the professor is opposed to
scientific experiments directed ssainst
himself and the offspring ofi;S mighty
brain. and would prefer that the rev.
crond clereyrncn should ~credulOusiy
accept the superstition that his IN
supported worl is sufficient guarGn-
tee of his Innocence OF the charge. so,
instead of publishing his manuscript,
he published in the Cape Girardeau
Daily FRA. the following:
IAs the readers of the DEMOCRAT
are familiar with the professors card,
we omit it.-EI; DEM
Educated readers will perceive at a
glance. tha. the only gracefully con-
Quoted period in the professors card
is the introductory one which he bor-
rows from the Spanish. the language
of a people who cherish all of the re-
ligious -Supersttions" which he treat
ed with such lofty contempt. Ii was
in bad taste to ornament his clumsily
constructed article with a rhetorical
rei- from a nation whose most sacred
religious sentiments he held up to
public scOrn. But this is the way of
all progressive" philosophers with
microscopic eyes they inspect the
blemishes of any system opposed TO
their own. overlook its BEAUTIES and
its beniticcnt results and magnify and
caricature its impcrfections.
In likening the Gd-ette'S reporter,
first to q dog and then to a ghost, the
professor rather mikes his SMILES, but,
then. that is not to be wondered at
from a MASSIVE mind which is absorb
ed in the reformation OF human ma
ture on the A%ristotelian plan. The
wonder is that such a favored Child
of Destiny Can Pause long enough at
a dog or a ghost. Anyhow, the pro-
fessor is rather inconsistent in affirm
ing the existence of ghosts on earth.
In the dire extremity of self-defence,
he is Liable TO fall off the high plane
of Aristotle's maxim and plunge head
foremost into the abyss of superstition
for which he processes such profound
contempt.
Superstition. however, is not the
only object of the professors profound
contempt. Frauds and deceiyers,
under whatever name they 60" share
the same unhappy tatC. OF course
the professor makes a mental reserva-
ton i'll favor of himself when de-
nOuncing this class OF mortals. Any
one who witnessed his confident air
of self.conceit. as he appeared on the
platform of the De Soto Opera House,
must feel assured that, though he may
class the worship of ! personal God
with supersti'ions. the professor will
never be so fOrgetful of his own sub
lime mental attributes as TO relegate
selfworship 70 the same category.
But. what is the Use of discussing
ANYTHING with such Il cowardly pre-
v~aricatCT? y man who will sneak into
asSeInb.agr convened for decent
PURPOSES and hurl insult after insult
at she religious belief of nearly one
half of his hcarers, mary of whom
were modest and refined ladies, and
then. when confronted with his infa-
conduct. crouch and Winnie and
cry mon peccdri," is not worth the pa
per and printers ink used in dcnOunc-
ing hiT. Liberal he and his sup
say they are. Their narrow
eroOycd souls have no more conccp-
ton OF what is meant by liberaiity
than a Fiji Islander has of the eff eacy
of IA vegetarian diet. Professor VAN
diver has rendered il unnecessary for
ne to treat him with any courtesy by
us a slanderer. Cody and de-
Iiberately we re:ort by telling him he
IS Il liar. We have not slandercd him.
if he thinks we have, the statutes of
Missouri provide him a remedy for
the wrong done him. Were his PAM
phlct published, as he read il. and we
and hundreds of others heard it, it
reveal him az an insolcnt de-
famcr of en- unoffending body Uf
Christians whose taxes he eats every
!ay al his table. and to some of whose
children he may, perhaps, be dispens1
such an education as he can be1
stow.-SOuihedst Gdzeite.