Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-05-19
THE LIME KILN CLUB.


Every Day Language Good Enough for
Members.
Some time since, as Samuel Shin was
cleaning up Paradise hall in readiness
for the usual weekly meeting, no flung a
pan of ashes out Of one of the windows
fronting on the alley, and the same de-
scended upon the head of Colonel Inquirer
Jones, who was about to enter the hall,
There has been bad blood between the
pair in consequence, or, rather, the colo
mel has wasted a great deal of time in
trying to catch Samuel in some lonely
locality. Odds of ten to one have been
given that he would succeed, but at the
last meeting, to the surprise of every
body, he walked up to Brother Shin and
extended his hand and waved the flag Of
peace. This action was brought about
by telegram announcing the death Of
his mother in North Carolina Two
! hours later he heard that she had been
! dead thirteen years when tho telegram
was sent, but he was not the man to go
back on his word.
''Gemlen," said Brother Gardner. MS
the meeting came TO order, II hey "A few
words of advice 10 offer which hope
will be keerfuIly listened TO an i'm
pecuniousfy considered. / has obsarved
u tendency on de part Of many members
Of dis club to aHecl what may be tarmed
dc Shakspeartan style of conyersaahun.
1t Gums from de white folks, Of co'so-
from dat class who has been suddenly
elevated by dc profits Of a sewer CON
tract, an should be sot down on wild de
most vigorous disqualification. II hain't
In keepin' wild de financial an soshul
standin' Of man who has 10 black
stoves an lay on whitewash at an aver
age income Of seben dollars a week. /
want it stopped"
Judge Cahoots, Whyfore Davis, indie
pendence Jones and others began TO look
very serious.
Fur instance" continued the presi-
dent, show many members of dis club
know do Ineanin' Of de term, TO pog-
nosticate toward de efnblematical indi-
viduahtyp an yit, at de party given at
my house de odder night, heard it mt
tered no less dan fo'teen times. What's
dc use Of a man airnin' a dollar day
obsarvin' dat he expeclas 10 condesccnd
to the irresponsible endeavor befo'
spring. He do2n know whether il means
dat cranberries am gwine up to fo'ty
cents quart or will drap down TO six,
an his bearer goes home an can't sleep
fur thinkin' about it. SIGH conversashun
simply implacates a rcsinous disinciina-
ton 10 absorb the proper desideratum."
nipples Of excitement with suppressed
cries of "Hearl hearTl
''lf any of you," continued the ,presi- !
dent, ms he laid aside his coat, "has an
ideah dat de yuse OF sich words as bonn
bastic, delirium tremens, Cato, incense
quential, Dante, Boston, impugn, re-
tallate or postmaster gineral elevates
you in de corruptible an imperious esti- |
mashun Of Vanderbilt an Gould you is |
precariousiy mistaken. When member /
Of dis club comes to me an wants to /
borry tablespoonful Of forty cent green |
tea, kase de preacher am gwine 10 be to /
his cabin fur supper, want him 10 sot
down on de aige Of q cheer, look me in
dc eye an Civ it TO me in plain English.
He needn't spect me to heap up de
measure bekase he uses sich words as
absquatulate, Casarism an
primeval incalculate.7
More ripples, during which Colonel
CahoOts managed 10 kick Sir John
Smythe on the shin, and thus pay off an
old grudge,
III had son twenty vars ole" said
the president, RI he looked up and down
the aisles, "an' he should cum home
some day wild his whitewash brush ON
his shoulder an inform me dat de graft
hcashun Of de Incompatible syntax had
its objecshuns TO de planet
ary afiiliashun, do you know what
would doI would riz up an put my
No 1873 agin him wild SIGH auxiliary rep
dat he would percolate dc
longitudinal cumulative fur six weeks 10
;um- Oar bein' no furder bizness befo'
le club until its recent communication
o de legisiachur is answered, we will
-edGndate homeward." - Detroit Free
Press.