The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-10
BRIGHT BITS.

Is IL your opinion, said the theological
professor. that the part of the parable which
represents the prodigal son as feeding among
swine is to be taken literallyf
Perhaps not" the thoughtful young man
replied; may be II Is a reference to the meals
he ate at a railway lunch counter. ~ Washing
ton Star.
'THERE are things in nature" remarked the
family physician, that completely overawe
me. Often do l experience the greatest diff
Guilty in finding language to express myself"
Yes, b" replied the head OF the family: "f
thought 1t must be something that way one
time when tried to read one Of your prescrip.
ns"-JUdoe.
JUDGE to prisoner)-You say that you were
driven by hunger TO commit this crime.
Prlsoner-Just So your honor.
But hungry man Is not likely TO steal a
a whole call"
81 know that, but didn't have my pocket
knife with me- or I'd only cut off a few pounds"
Te1ds StftinDs.
HOWELL GIBBoN-Why do look so awfully
down-hearted, me desh boyP
Hoffman Howes-I was pondewing on great
matter, Howy. Who will we have to follow when
the dean pwince becomes king9
Howell Gibbon-Why, old fellah, don't be I'M
happy; we shall still have a captain to look to,
Albaht Victaw will be prince then.-Pttck.
UNCLE EBoNY-rs trying to raise enough
money ter git my wife new dress for Christ
mas, sab.
Featherstone-I see, and you want me to give
some chores to do, Ell. uncle?
Uncle Ebony-Well, no. sab, dat wasn't de
ldee. fought perhaps you could git de ole
lady job at washin, sah.-CIoGk Review.
"Now, THEN" said New York merchant to
one OF his travelling salesman. who was packin &
for his journey. ''let US see that you sell more
goods on this trip than you did before Our
firm Is more generally known now"
In that case, ~ said the drummer, looking du.
biously up from his sample cases. Il am a little
afraid it will be uphill work. "-Teras Sift
inOS.
MR.. GoTHAM-I hear Mr. De Pave has
been arrested. What is the charge against
him?
Mr.. Brooklin-Delaying the United States
mail,
MY gooduess In what wayY'
DE Pave is very fat. and when a mail wagon
ran over him it lost twenty seconds time and
missed the train. "-NeLo York Weekly.
HArrIE-what was that horrid Mrs. Burns
saying about me9 Something hateful, I'll be
bound
Mattie-She said you were a perfect fright,
DEAR but gave her rebuke she won't forget
In hurry.
Hattie-Why, what did you say.
Mattel told her there was no such thing as
perfection in this world.-BostOn Transcript.
LOVE all the delicate ways that she has
Her hands and her delicate smile;
She's delicate nose and a delicate pose
And a dreamy and delicate style.
Her delicate voice is q musical treat,
AS rhythmic as fountains that splash:
But Sn6 at her O0sC, is my uelcate pest,
a In her delicate teasing for cash.
--NetC York Herald
Mrs FREAK-They tell me your husband has
besn at Louisville couple Of weeks attending
the races.
Mrs. Meek-You have been misinformed; my
husband took q southern trip for his health.
Mrs. Freak-Dld he get its
Mrs. Mee6-I assume so; he brought back
considerable wealth with him, and l don't
know how he acquired 1t unless it was on the
principle of health makes wealth ,"-ROStCn
Courier.
YOUNG LADY--Good morning. Mr. Surplice.
You stated yesterday that you wished some of
the members OF the congregation would solicit
subscriptions for a bell.
Clergyman-Yes Miss De Goode. 10 Is my
ambition to have the largest and finest bell In
the city.
Young LADY, have plenty of leisure and
would like TO help.
Ciergyman-Very well. Here is book
Don't waste time applying to families who live
withintwo or three blocks OF the church. They
won't give anything.-Neto York Weekly