davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
Old Jokes Are Good.

A professional bumorist said the other
day: There is a great truth about jokes
which both readers and writers recog-
nize in practice, but do not often formu-
late. 1t is this:
A good joke improves 40 less with
age than does wine. Once upon a time
there was a famous speaker whose toll
erably bad lecture started off and ended
with two of the most exquisite jokes
ever invented. People travelled miles
and sat patiently through the sam lect-
ure year after year to split their sides
laughing at the same old jokes. After
the effect of the Introductory joke had
worn off there was always perfect 81
lence until the lecture was three-quar-
tiers done, when the anticipations of an
audience which had never been swindled
would begin to break out in gurgling
laughter, mods, winks and whispers of
Its coming" And when at last this
well seasoned old chunk of wit brought
the performance to q close the very roof
was raised.
But one fatal night there was q bad
case of dyspeptic pessimism in a front
seat. 1t is true that when he roared
chestnut at the first joke the audience
nearly mobbed him, but the lecturers
tender spot was touched. He prepared
a new lecture, which began and ended
with two absolutely fresh jokes. When
the lecturer walked upon the platform
with his new manuscript in his hand he
received an ovation.
The first new joke seemed to stupefy
the people. But a few sentences of the
new lecture woke them up, and they rose
as man and demanded their money
at the box Office. At the next town the
lecturer affixed the old jokes to the new
lecture, and all went SO well that he is
still cracking them with constantly in
creasing success.-Chicago Mail.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

0FNAO0C NOL4oLt
fashionable and otherwise. A long list
of other lecturers on the drawing room
platform covers q wide variety OF sub
jects, and all at one time and another
assist at society entertainments. They
are all high priced-they would not be
fashionable else-and in proportion as
their popularity increases so does the
ratio of their terms.
From head to heels in this changing
world is not an unusual step, and it
often happens that q woman in the
swim listens to a talk, perhaps on Peter
the Great, by a Russian lecturer, in the
afternoon, and assists in the evening at
a fete where a Spanish dancer brings
her castanets and twinkling feet to
amuse the company. Some Japanese
dancing girls have lately come over to
introduce novelty to this form of enter
tanning. 1t is not impossible that genu-
inc Nautch maidens may yet be seen in
Murray Hill drawing rooms.
Musicales are by no means RELOCATED to
the background, but they have become
most elaborate and expensive affairs,
and are almost monopolized by wealthy
women who count a ballroom among the
apartments of their superb homes.
These, transformed for the time into
music halls. are the scene often Of mu-
steal affairs which, for scopeof workper-
formed and ability of participants, can
not be %outranl-ed. except, perhaps, by the
presence of the half dozen great artists of
the world. Fabulous sums, running
into the thousands, have been expended
by the wives of some fNew York's many
times m~illionaires in producing pro
grammes of constantly increasing i'm
p~ortance. One wonders if some ambl-
tious hostess will not yea give Crane
opera in her white and gold ballroom.
The same spirit of emulation obtain
in the parlor dramatic entertainments
The best o. professionals, an entire
company frequently, are tempted by
the ''nalne.your-price" method to bring
themselves and complicated stage set,
tings before these exclusive audiences.
Thus the insatiate pursuit Of noyel
amusement goes on. When will the re.
action come? Perhaps out Of this very
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

paign, who was left a prisoner in Russia
and married a lady of hat country. The
grandson resumed French citizenship,
and while serving his term in the French
army developed his wonderful skill in
c~aricature drawing. "Carandache" is the
Russian for lead pencil, and that, French
flied as above, was the signature on his
first published sketches. So it has be-
come his permanent pen name.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
A New War Ship.
THE MONTEREY,

The Monterey, launched in April, 1891,
at San Francisco, is a twin screw vessel,
$50 feet in length, with extreme beam
width of 50 feet; mean draught, sea
going trim, III feet; horse power, 5,40o,
and speed, 16 knots. Her displacement
in fighting trim is 5000 tons, and she is
fitted with submersing tanks, into which
water is admitted when preparing for
action, and which bring the ship lower
in the water and increase her displace-
ment by 500 tons.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
a nea, nnlsnn IS u emp.s na,sam.

The dictionary says, "A ba,sam is a
thick, pure aromatic substance flowing
from trees" Kemp's Balsam for the
Throat and Lungs is the only cough med-
icine that is a real baIsam. Many thin,
watery cough remedies are called balsams,
but such are not. Look through a bottle
of Kemp's Balsam and notice what a pure,
thick preparation it is. If you cough use
Kemp's Balsam. AT all druggists. Large
bottles SOC and 81. !
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

as it were, out
done all the other
comic artists and
acquired such a
f a m e that his
drawings are in
demand in Eng
land and Amer
lea as well as
France. He is
Russian by birth,
but his paternal
grandfather was
a French soldier
in the 0 us
Nj n q n n frr cow
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
M1;0MrAauA A4aev
A sonthern Mrlter in New York.

Mrs. Lee c. Hardy, formerly of Gal
weston, ROW of New York, is a genial,
frank, whole souled, typical south
ern woman, and, in addition to rare
graces of mind and character, pos
sesses unusual personal beauty. For
the excellence Of her serial, "The City
of a Prince published in the Mag
azine Of American History, she was
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

He Was Saved,

Il Michigan man tumbled into a hole
four feet deep one evening, and suppos-
ing himself at the bottom of mine shaft
forty feet deep, he put in the night pray
ing and h~allooing. When morning came
he climbed out and gave a teamster a
dollar to boot him for forty rods down
the road.-Detroit Free Press.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

lost art, at least a much obscured one
hospitality has little social element left.
and the compliment of inviting a com.
pany Of friends to ones home seems now
to mean only, "Come and see a newer
and greater show than your last hostess
offered"
MARGARET HAMILTON WEIGH
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

Mrs. Harriet Maxwell Converse, the
authoress, is an "%Injun' by adoption OF
the Iroquois or Six Nations of New York,
Her grandfather was adopted by the
Senecas, part of the Iroquois confedera-
ton, in 1892, and her father in 1904; but
she owes the honor to her persistent and
successful opposition to the New York
assembly bill No. 544. This bill provided
for abrogating all treaties, and putting
Indians and their lands under the gener-
al state law. She is the first white
woman to be honored with a seat IN the
council since the death of the celebrated
Mary Jamison, who in1715 was captured
by the Indians at the age Of thirteen,
who remained with them twenty years
and was interpreter at the making of
many treaties. Mrs. Converse's Seneca
name is Ga-yah-nis-hah-oh, or "Bearer of
the Law"
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
Re GarcfuI!

No matter what disease you may have.
Be sure that the medicine you take is re-
Liable. Such a medicine you will always
find in Sulphur Bitters. They are not a
cheap rum drink, but are made of the
choicest roots and herbs to be found in the
vegetable kingdom.-Daily Argus.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
AErench Carica4nrist-

"Caran d'Acheo is the pen name of
Emanuel Poire, the new and brilliant
caricaturist Of Paris, who has all at once,
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

prorngacy Will
come a revClu-
ton that shall de
velop the Amer
lean ~salon-thai
circle of brilliant
women and mer
whose grace, vii
and scholarly cul-
ture shall set the
fashion to this
continent an q
produce a pro
nounced effect
upon American
society. Society
certainly is in
need of some
such regenera-
ton. Converse
ton is almost a
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

tatiOns. One or LITTLE
two women of fashion took her up, and
of course others followed suit,
For morning entertainments or early
afternoon teas lectures are quite the
thing. Sugar coated pills Of knowledge
for fashionable digestion is what a
cynical husband says they comprise.
The Delsarte system and rational
dress have recently been much talked
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

about, Mr.. and
Mrs. Edmund
Russell being
III o aesthetic
and attractive ex-
ponents of the
former Both
h aye been in
much fashionable
demand, and it
must be said of
them that they do
not at all times
sugar coat their
especial pills Of
k nowl d g e."
Neither hesitates
to speak very
plainly from their
point of view of
the atrocities of
movement and
xpressio as
practiced by the
-Arn nm
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26
DRAWING ROOM SHOWS.
THEY ARE GROWING TO BE Elk
PENSlVE IN NEW YORK.

The wealthy Women of the Metropolis
are OFTEN Bothered to Know How to
Entertain Their Friends of an Even
ing-some Entertainments Described.
downright. 1921, by American Press A.ssocia-
ton.
The rage for drawing room entertain
ments in New York has increased to a
degree that makes it q serious problem
nowadays to offer hospitality for an
evening to a company Of ones friends.
If dancing parties are given the cotillon
or german, as it is better known outside
of New York, is the only tolerated fash
ionable form of tripping rhythmic meas
ures, and the novelty and elegance Of
the favors at once stamps the quality OF
the function. To attempt, therefore, to
moderate the cost of an entertainment
by giving a dance is not successful; and
if dancing is not to go on the cards of in
vitation, the intending hostess finds her
self at once in a sea Of doubt and peff,iex-
ity. A glance at a few of the parlor a:ttfac-
tons which have been popular daring
the past season will show the difficulty
of a choice, and the still greater diff
Guilty of a novelty, which the fashiona-
bic hostess of the moment aspires to
with great ardor
At some of the teas one Of the Hun
garian bands, of which there are now
several in the city, has played, but this
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26


picturesque mus
ie=has rather
from
star place to that
Of accessory.
The ~whistling
artists have been
much sought af-
ter, and their pop
ularity does not
yet seem to wane.
1t has been a fad,
indeed, among a
lot Of fashionable
girls the past sea-
son to learn to
W his tt e, and
classes in he
pickering art
have been formed
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

fantastically call
ed, is another pet
of smart drawing
rooms. She is a
clever little girl,
not quite ten
years old, with a
piquanto face set
in a a Of tan
gled hair, and is
wonderfully
in songs and reci-
o4z~ nnA ~,
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-06-26

APRETTY WHISTLER. and enthusiastic
ally attended. The most sought after
whistler, after Mrs. Alice Shaw, who
won't come home from Europe, where
she is having altogether too fine a time
to leave, is Mabel Stevenson, the little
English girl. Her stamp of fashion is
the fact that she has been applauded and
Endorsed by the Prince of Wales. OF
course the dainty palms Of Anglo-mani-
acs will meet with zeal in her honor.
A Boston whistler is also fashionable
in New York, and two western girls, SIS
tiers, one of whom aceonplishes the rare
feat of whistling by inhalation as well as
by exhaling the air from her lungs.
Little Tuesday" as she is somewhat
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
OUR GREAT OFFER
TO Subscribers :, '.. Weekly Times

We Will send the Entire Set Dkens's in
unes above described all
WOOD RIVER TIMES for ONE YEAR,
set OF Dckenss works
premium of
more.
:. :. Tell All Your Friends :.
That they Of DIcKENss WORKS. VOLUMES
seM a gears subscription % tile WEEKLY WOOD RIVER
TINES for tie small Of only $500!
Subscribe has
We
paid sending
I. E. PICOTTE,
al Troprie
HALEY, IDAHO
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

ACEM1C wanted. LIBERAL SALARY PAID
VO@N ~ At home or to travel. TEAM FUR.
NIsHED FREE. p. o. vICKERY. Augusta, Name
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
EstraY Notice.

THERE CAME TO MY PLACE. AT GILMAN
Idaho. one bay mare. Ave years old. star on fore
head. branded q on both shoulders. and w u
with quarter circle above on left shoulder under
the q brand: weight about seven hundred pounds
The owner or owners are requested TO prove
property. pay charges. and take said animal away
Said mare WAS taken up by February 25th 1891 :,
and has run with my stock since about Decem Der
LIST. 1890. I. A. JOSSEIYN
Dated March 9Th, 1891. m5*
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

HALEY LODGE. No. l, A. o. U. W . meets in
Association Hail. the FIRST and THIRD MONDAYS In
each month. at Z 80 O'Clock, p. m. All Workmen
in good standing cordially invited to attend.
J. p. AOTHERWELL, NJ. w.
I. W. GARRETT, Recorder.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

"DT nWANTED. 1873 a week and expenses
NIL psd. steady work. New Goods
Samples free. J. F. HILL & Co.
Augusta. MAJ ae r.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
THE DOLLAR COLUMN

advertisements not exceeding an inch Tor ten
Zines of small type) In length will be inserted in
this column for one dollar per week. nifty cents
the hrst insertion and t~ enty -nve cents each ad
ditional altnsertiO0-paysble in advanced
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

COLD RING, 6 GOOD PENS CEDAR LEAD
NJ Pencils, very good Handkerchiefs, all sent
to any address for 10 cents, to introduce my CHEAP
line of goods. j. II. TIMMONS, Cadlz, o.
j3m3d&w
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

EOR SALE-The United States and Canadian
L patents, recently issued, for article of
great merit aud utility. Received medal of supe-
riority at American Institute Fair, N. Y. Or Will
sell state rights.
81 Fulton St, Brooklyn, N. :: Room llo
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
Estray.
EstraY Notice.

CAME TO MY RANCH ON BIG LOST RIVER.
Idaho, on or about the summer OF 1889, and now
taken up by me as an estray this 23d day Of Janu-
GOO pounds branded thus: D s on left shoulder.
HR on left stihe. 81 on right shoulder; white
face underlip white, hind legs white above mid
die joints outside of right front leg white up t.
knee, about five inches of left front leg white:
saddle marked on back and sides; should judge
his age about niue years Owner is requt sted to
prove property, pay charges and take said horse
away. G. H. EUREY
Leslie, Alturas County, Idaho. Jan. 23d. 1891.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
YOU ARE IN A BAD FIX

Bnt we will cure you If you will pay us.
Our message is to the Weak. Nervous and
Debilitated, who by early Evil Habits, or
Later Indiscrctions, have trifled away
their vigor Of Body, Mind and Manhood,
and who suffer all those effects which
lead to Premature Decay, Consumption
or insanity. If this means you, send for
and read our Book OF LIE. written bv
the greatest Specialist of the day, and
sent. (sealed}. by addressing DR.. Park
er's Medical and Surgical Institute, l53
North Spruce ST., Nashville, Tenn.
9OO3dW
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

N1ENh 10c to AGENTS RECORD. Box AZ Atlanta,
4 ua., and have your name and adore IS insert.
Y ed The result will be a surprising amount
Y of mail matter samples of goods. offers of
valuable agencies etc You get the paper
~ with your name and n idress printed in it for
only ten CENTS 3 mos. 25c; year 75c.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

GENERAL AGENTS SELLING THE PATENT
~ Adjustable Shoe are making from 5000 to
5000 per year Canvassers S4OO to 81. 60 per day.
Exclusive territory given. Address with 2-cent
stamp, CONSOLIDATED ADJUSTABLE SHOE Co., Sa-
lem. Mass.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30
Notice.

CCHOOI. OF PRACTICAL CIVIL, MECHAN-
= ical, Mining Engineering, Surveying,
Drsughting, Architecture, Assay ing and Naviga.
tion. l7Oh Second Street, Portland Or. and 723
Market st San Francisco, Cal, Established 1864,
A. WANDER NAILLEN, Pres. Send for circuls ar.
au18vld
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

All blood diseases successfully treated. syph-
little poison removed from the system without
mercury New Restorative Treatment for Loss
OF Vital Power Persons unable to visit us may
be treated ut home by correspondence. All COM
municat;ons confdehtial Medicines or Instru-
ments sent by mail or express securely packed.
One personal interview preferred. Call aud con.
suit us. or send history of your case. and will
send in plain wrapper our Book Free expisining
why thousands cannot be cured OF Private Special
and Nervous Diseases. Seminal Weakness. Sper-
mAtorrhea, Impotency, Syphilis, Gonorrhes,
6leet. Vsricocele. etc, etc.
Drs. Liebig Co. the only qualified or
responsible Specialists left in Mont ana since the
new medical law. The Examining Surgeon will
visit HALEY Quarterly. Private office will be
at the Alturss Hotel K.tchum and Bellevue
patients come to HALEY.
Once hours frem to and to p. M; or by
appointment in obscure and urgent cases.
CONSULTATION FREE.
Northern Divisiop-BUrfE CITY, MONT,
Eastern Division KANSAS CITY, Mo.
Western Division - 400 Geary street, SAN
FRANCISCO. CAL.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-03-30

RlcAEC If you desire them use foolihg
UuOss60 away time on things that don't pay !;
but send 81 90 at once for magnificent outfit of
our Great New Stanley Book. If book and terms
not satisfactory We refund your money. No risk
No capital needed. Both ladies and gentlemen
emplo. ed. Don't lose time in writing. "Step in
while the waters troubled" Days are worth
dollars Address b. +. JOHNSON Co., 1909 Main
ST.. Richmond Na
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-06-02
A HOUSEHOLDER's LETTER BOX.
About Eight Hundred Models Now Awaiting
an Inspection by Commission.

About Eight Hundred Models Now Awaiting
an Inspection by Commission.
Judging from the number of models re-
ceived at the Post Office Department the in
ventive minds Of the country have been de-
voting their time and attention to devising a
house letter box. Mr.. Wanamaker wants some
thing of the kind that householders
can attach to their front DOORS so as to save the
time of letter carriers in making their rounds.
The idea is to put the mail in these
boxes, ring the bell and they hurry away
without waiting for the door to be opened.
Last January in response to an invitation
a number of models we're examined by COM
mission. There were some two or three hun
dred models submitted and the commission
found nothing that exactly filed the bill Mr..
Wanamaker was not discouraged. He de-
termined to try again. Inventors have been
sending in their models and yesterday. which
was the last for the receipt of models.
no less than l63 were brought to the depart
ment The total number Of models now on hand
is between 200 and 800 and the prospect is
that the commission may be able to find
some one that will be suitable The COM
mission met at the Post Office De-
partment yesterday and entered upon their
labors. The members are as follows:
]. b. Harlow chairman; the postmaster at
St. Louis, q. Van Colt, postmaster New York
city; Thos n. Hart, postmaster Boston; Henry
Sherwood, postmaster Washington, d. c.; Jas.
Z. Bell, superintendent of delivery, Washing
ton, u. c.; ". B. Smith, post Office inspector.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-06-02
FOREIGN TOPICS OF INTEREST.
Matters Of Moment in the Capitals of tn
Old World.

Old World.
The Berlin Post officially announces that the
Marquis di Rudini, the Italian premier, has
formally communicated to the German and
Austrian governments the determination of
Italy to adhere to the driebund.
Sir Antoine A Dorion, chief justice Of the
Quebec queens bench court and formerly
leader of the Quebec liberal party, is dead He
was for many years one of the most prominent
figures in Canadian public life.
Public Indignation in Germany against Rus
STA because of that governments treatment Of
the Hebrews is becoming more intense, and il
is asserted that the statement of Mr.. Gladstone
that the czxr does not know of the cruelties in
ficted on his Hebrew subjects differs from the
facts, the car being the chief instigator of the
increasing seventies.
ges. in France. for President Balmaceda of
Chilli will be held pending judicial proceedings
concerning them between the representatives
of the two Gillian parties in Paris.
Count Won Moltke, just before his death, con-
cluded an exhaustive study of European arma-
ments and concluded that France was ready
for war, Russia nearly ready and that great
conflict could not be delayed longer than 1892.
Sir George Stephen. formerly president of
the Bank of Montreal and now president of the
Canadian Pacific railway, has been raised to
the peerage, being the first instance of a native
Of British colony being made peer.
Mr. Harris, the London manager. saws he
will try to enforce his contract with Belle
Billion, the music hall singer. who became a
countess by the death Of the Earl of Clancarty.
to sing with him for year
Mr.. Henry Chaplin, president of the London
board of agriculture, says that he must decline
to support the bill compelling grain merchants
to sell grain by weight
There has been heavy decrease in the ex-
ports of silks from Lyons to the United States.
The London trade association gave BANQUET
Saturday night at Richmond in honor of the
American millers who are on visit to England.
Admiral Enomats has been appointed minis
ter Of foreign affairs Of Japan In succession to
Vicomte Aoki ShiLzo, who has resigned
Cardinal Alimonda, archbishop Of Turin, Ii
dead.
The grip has had a depressing effect upon
the London season, the disease being mos,
prevalent in aristocratic and fashionable circles
Senator Ayme of France has died in Paris
and il is reported that he committed suicide
The French chamber Of deputies has agreed
70 allow the free importation Of raw hides and
furs into France.
The American art exhibition has been opened
in Paris.
The savage tribes on the New Hebrides island
are At war and the victims Of battle are eater
| by the victors-
Schulther's brewery, the largest establish
ment Of that kind in Berlin, was burned Satur
day.
The imperialisss of Paris Sunday night hat
their frss banquet siacs the death OF the Prime,
Napoleon.
fhe car aud czarina, accompanied by theil
family, on Saturday visited the French exhibi
/ ton which h being held In Moscow
Finance Minister n. Dupian Of Mexico i
! dead.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-06-02
CITY AND DISTRICT.

e5The way to advertise is to put your an
nouncement where it will be seen by the people
you want TO reach. The STAR reaches every
body in Washington, and all advertisements
in its columns are regularly and carefully read
BY all members Of the household
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-06-02
The Religious Assemblies.

The Presbyterian General Assembly at De-
troit has decided to meet next year at Portland,
Oregon. Portland offered entertainment for
200 delegates and $4,000 for expenses.
The Atlantic District Synod Of the German
Lutheran Church has recommended to the
General Synod that the veto power of the
general president be limited 10 the admission
of members into the synod.