davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
The Ladies' Delightcd.

The pleasant effect and the perfect safety
with which ladies may use the liquid fruit lax
alive, Syrup of Figs, under all conditions
make it their favorite remedy. 1t is pleasing
to the eye and to the taste, gentle, yet elfec-
tual in acting on the kidneys, liver and
hnuals
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Take the burlington Route" g. B. Il q. r.
r. in connection with the Denver ~ Rio
Grande X. II. the scenic line of the world,
for all points in New Mexico Utah, Nevada,
Montana, Idaho, Washington and California.
Enquire of, or write to +. A. Hunter, Gener
al Agent, 233 Fourth street, Kirkwood House
block Des Moines
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
Slow but Sure.

Father-Young Walker has been devoted TO
you for two or three years, hasn't hei
Daughter--Yes, papa
ingi
Daughter-Yes, George is littlo slow, but
think he's sure.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
Nine American Wonders,

The Nine American Wonders are ID Vel,
l0wstonc National Park, (2) The Columbia
River, (D Manitou, Colo, a. South Park,
Colo, 90 Echoes and Webber Cannons, Utah,
90 Great Salt Lake, Utah, az Great ShoshonC
Falls, (S) Clear Creek Cannon, (0 Gray's
Peak, Colo. All of these points are reached
by taking the Chicago, St. Paul & Kansas City
(DiagonaD r. X. The only line running com.
partment Yestihule Sleeping Cars. J. II.
GREEN, Gen'l. Agt, go 18th St. Des Moines.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
A Rejected Candidate.

''Uncle Ebenezer," said Hojack to Mistah
Johnsing, 81 understand that Madison Clay
Washington tried to go into the Midnight
club, and that the members wouldn't have
him.
"Dat am a fac, sah," replied Uncle Ebc-
nezer; we whiteballed dc Wutiies niggah,
sah."
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
No Doubt OF IL.

she-You don't mind my talking so much,
do you?
He--No indeed, but Cautiously may mind
after we are married.
She--But shan't mind then If you do.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Any article that has oatllved q gears of
competition and imi alton, and sells more and
more each year must have merit. Dobbins
Electric soap first made in 1865, Is Just that
article, Ask your grocer for it. He has 1t or
vii get Il.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Dressy evening toilets are made OF rose,
mauye, or blue matelasse satlns splintered
with gold. These are combined with lace
gauze, or embroidered silk muslin.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

1t is old that among all the different var
ietles advertised, We have never seen coal dust
mentioned as a baking powder
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Toy toques that are lite more than hand
full OF bright flowers will be worn. A sample
from Paris Is co nposed OF Overlays Of back
gauzc, edged with gold galloon, with trim
ming of clusters of yellow chrysanthemums.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

When Baby was sick, We gave her castoria.
When she wns Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
Wien she had Children. she gave them Castoris
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
Money for Everybody.

Mrs Wells asks as 1t fact that a person
can make $50 ors 40 week In the plating
businessl" Yes, make from S. to IS day,
plating and selling plated ware. w. II. Grif-
18th Il Co., GAINESVILLE, Ohio, will give you full
instructions. In this business there is money
for everybody.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
Serious Danger

threatens every man, woman or child living
IN region OF country where fever and ague
IS prevalent. since the germs of malariHl dis
saSe are inhaled from the air and are Swal-
owed from the water OF such region Med
icinal safeguard is absolutely necessary to
hullify this danger. As Il means Of fOrtIrylrg
Nnd acciimatiug the system so as to be able
- resist the malaTial poison HOstetter's
ttomach Bitters is incumpaIably the best
ind the most popular. Irregularities Of the
Itomach. liver and bowels encourage mai
ria: but these are speedily rcctifcd by the
Bittcrs The functions Of digestion and So
tretion are assisted by its use, and vigOr-
fuS MS well As regular condition OF the Sys-
tenn promoted by it. Constitution and Dlv-
siIue are thus defended against the inroads
Of malaria by this matches preventive,
which is also a certain and thorough remed v
In the worst cases Of Intermittent and remit
tent fevers.
Reasoning Faith.
Are there trees in heaven papal asked VII
fe.
Yes-l suppose 80.
! should think the halos would catch in the
branches unless they are trimmed pretty
high.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

When winters wind, with mad turmoil,
Sweeps over hills and plains,
It's then you need Salvation on
To heal your aches and pains
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

We are told that ga word to the wise Is suf-
fcient;" but the Welsh language seems TO
have more US to the word than Is absolutely
necessary.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

"Down on your knees and thank HEAVIER
fasting" not for good mans love this time
but because you have cured your cold so easil,
with DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Gilbert's Dress Innings, Best In the World.
Every intelligent Lady and Dressmaker knows It.
Genuine goods have name on selvage.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Cutting ones garment according to the
cloth Is poor policy, unless one happens to
have sutiiciency of cloth.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

The Throat.-"Broun' bronchial Tro
shes" act directly on the organs Of the voice
They have an extraordinary effect in all dsor.
ders OF the throat.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

He who is described as "One in 1,000' very
often thinks the other figures beside him mere
cinhers
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Heredity is mighty good excuse for some
people who want to go little wrong.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
A Reasoning Faith.
On a Decline.

St Agedore-Did understand you to say
that Miss Waverlv was ILL.,
De Macus (rucfully mindful Of his rejection)
No; l said found her going INTO de-
,liae.
The morphire habit-a shrond.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

There is another fearful thing connected
with laziness; lazy man always talks too
much.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

In some towns the proverb is spelt thus:
Money makes the mayor go-any way the rich
corporations want him to-
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Swedish Asthma Cure never fails.
Send address. Trial package mailed free.
Collins brothers Drug Co. st. Louis. Mo
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

On the provision that style 1. the dress of
thought great many fashionable people are
ont of style.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Ladies seldom hit the nail on the head.
They are more apt to hit the nail on the
FINGER.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

For Sale or Exchanged largo, sub
| ttantlal brick Building for manufacturing pur-
poses In Des Moncs. Address 7. o. Box la,
| Des Moines, Ia.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Are the woods Of the Amazon called ''yir-
gin forests" because they have never been
L-ed
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Holmanis Liver Pads cure MALARIA.
Holman's Liver Pads euro BILIoUsNEss.
HolDians Liver Pads cure INDIGESTION.
Pamphlet free with instructions and comm
tons. HOLMAN LIVER PA ID Co.. 4. o. Box 2ll2 NY
1t was Missouri man who was arrested be-
cause his breath hadn't an internal revenue
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Garfield Tea ac's on the blood, renovsti0g the
nti 20 system; Gu -es Cons patton; brings the hne
health bass 10 the faded check.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

The Western Ga rd en-, a monthly PUB
licalion OF Dcs Moincs, mentioned in another
is of much Interest TO every one who has
garden, small fruit patch or who loves flowers.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
- -
Rain ana Explosions

Under the directions of the Forestry
Division of the Department OF Agricul-
ture experiments to produce rainfall
by the explosion OF dynamite are to
ne made. The theory that rain may
be produced by explosives is based
largely on the fact that nearly all the
great battles of this century have been
followed quite shortly by rain.
| During the siege of Valenciennes in
1893, the weather, which had been
hot and dry, became violently rainy
after the cannonading commenced.
At the hattie of Dresden in 1913,
the weather, which had been serene
and very warm, suddenly changed.
Vast clouds filed the sky, and soon a
torrent OF rain fell.
At Waterloo, according to one
authority, the weather during the
morning of June II, 1915, had been
oppressively warm. The atmosphere
waS close, and q dark heavy cloud
hung over the combatants. Brigade
gnns began firing. The conclusion
seemed to rebound through the still
atmosphere, and to communicate like
IN electric spark with the heavily
charged clouds above. A violent
| thunder-clap burst forth, which was
followed by "A great downpour of rain.
One OF the builders of the Central
| Pacific Railroad states that he was
compelled to do great deal OF blast
ing through a part of the country
where rain had never been known to
TALL in considerable quantities, and
where it has never rained since. But
/ during the period of the blasting, near
~ year, it rained every day.
! Humboldt states that the eruption
of South American volcano in dry
season sometimes changesit TO n rainy
! cason.
1t is believed also, that in very warm
calm weather the burning OF woods
and long grass produces rain. Elk
tensive fires in Nova Scotia are general.
ly followed by floods of rain
Whether rain can be artificially pro-
iuced without expense too great to
make the enterprise worth while, and
without dependence on a favorable
condition OF the atmosphere, are ques-
lions which the experimenters have
get to decide.
| - ---------
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Mrs. winsIOw's Soothing syrup, for Chill
dren tocthing, softcns the gums, reduces innamma-
ton. alays pain. cures wind collie. 25c. bottle.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

Tie factt that thee hewing gum habit is still
so largely in vogue recalls the familiar ques-
ton, " tits true, tits spitty."
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12

IL no girls wore corsets under the age OF
.wenty five the chest would have a chance 10
acquire its full development, ths habi o.
roper breathing would h. established and
proper fitting cOrsets coull then be worn with
Inpunity, says Mary Putnam jacob In IN;
New York Herald.
DR.. Talmage says thrt the streets OF heaye1
ire lined with beautiful trees. DR. Ta!mage
position b diS9u,, HI rss,rti1n.
4 rirg epresent' II; rrow ribbon tied II q
"w knot st igI uHu
Policeman 10 chess playcr)--Mev, Oh uon
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-03-12
W.N.U.D.M-974 No. II.

GB-ln applying to any Of the above adver-
tisers, do not forget to say that you saw the
advertisement in this paper.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
COuldn't Dance.

One of our northern friends who has
been travelling in the south found him
self at railroad station at which quite
a crowd of negro boys were gathered.
Some of the passengers amused them
selves by tossing nickels out among the
crowd to see the urchins scramble for
them. One strong fellow managed to
get the lions share of the contributions,
using his superior skill and muscular
power to good advantage and imposing
upon the weaker and more awkward.
With his mouth, which answered the
purpose of a pocketbook, full of coin
obtained thus by hauling, pulling and
showing, he was invited to dance for the
delectation of the company, whereupon
he unhesitatingly declared that it was
impossible, for, as he said, "Tse got re-
ligion." That was where he drew the
line. He could pound and shove and
misuse his superior strength to obtain
money from his weaker companions, but
he couldn't dance.-Richmond Religious
Herald
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
A Queer Distinction in California.

There were some queer distinctions in
those days. One Sunday, going to the
butchers booth, | found a customer
ahead of me, who inquired if he could
not have piece of liver which was
hanging on a tree in plain sight
Don't know if you can or not" said
the butcher.
"pd like to know why2 I've been
trading with you all along, and never
asked for liver before; but | want some
variety now"
Stand around and let me look at you.
No, you can't have any liver"
"Well, why?'
There amt enough to go round. ]
have to have some rule about givin' it
out, and | have decided that no miner
can have scrap of liver from me unless
he wears a canvas patch on the seat Of
his pants"
The canvas patch was badge of prece-
dence as well recognized in our camp on
the Trinity as the star of the Order Of
the Garter IS in Great Britain. E. G.
Waite in Century.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
To Cure COrDuIency.

To open the sewerage system of the
body and expel the waste matters which
have accumulated is of the first impor-
lance in the treatment of corpulenca.
Hot water and exercise will largely do
this. That the overworked digestive or
gans may be relieved the quantity of
food should be the smallest possible con-
sistent with strength. Foods which bur
den digestion or favor the production of
fat should be excluded from the diet.
Every corpulent person who observes
these simple rules will soon find himself
growing lighter in weight and his gen.
eral health improving, physical as well
as mental. His gain will correspond to
the degree of faithfulness with which he
adheres to this regimen And once he is
back to near the standard of weight he
will need no urging to ever afterward
obstruct threatening corpulency.-Bos-
ton Herald
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
We've All Been There.

NO" said Fogg, Its no use for me
to go to concerts. went once, and liked
it well enough too; but great guns!
when | took up next mornings paper l
was fabbergasted. 1t told of rambles in
bosky dells, slumbrouS musings over the
dimpled waters Of the gurgling brook,
the soughing Of summer breezes, the
roar and rush of the winters storm. the
merry singing of birds, the frolickings of
lambs, the daisy piled fields, the lovers
soft glances, and-and in fact half hun
dred other things that didn't see or
hear when that fellow was fddiing at the
concert. It made me SO ashamed of my
self that all these things were going on
right in front of me and | not know it
that just made up my mind that con-
certs weren't in my line. Boston Tran
script
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
Two German Words THAT Mean Much.

German l,nrherS il Ea,y York have a
curious system of sigII5 and mysterious
words by which they indicate to each
other the tendency of customers to give
large tips, nall tips or none at all. If
a new barber in a large shop gets gen.
erous customer in his chair, fellow
workman 10 has shaved the generous
customer before mutters in his ear,
''Brunz' that is, He tips. ''Brunz''
is distinctively German product, and
till recently was never heard outside of
continental. barho' shops Its greatest
merit is that il ans nothing to per-
sons who are not oarbers, for it has no
Endorsement from the German diction-
aries, and does not even enjoy the ques-
tionable authority of student slang.
German BARRIERS in New York desig-
nate a man who gives no gratuities as a
"muff." Like "brunz," "muff'' is no
word at all, and was invented by willy
continental BARRIERS for the needs of the
shop only. The amount of the tip to be
expected is revealed by the old journey
men to the new ones by various contor-
tons of the fingers and by low German
monosyllables of no apparent relevancy.
-MOntreai Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
A Daughter of a Duchess.

The younger daughter of the Duke and
Duchess OF Connaught was born on St.
Patrick's Day, and rejoices in the name
of Victoria Patricia, SO called in honor
of her grandma and that Irish saint. An
American lady living in London, and
who seems to know a good deal about
English royalty, says the little girl is a
real beauty, and that her cousins, of
whom there is a troop, call her Patsy
Whether this will render the name pop
ular in aristocratic circles remains to be
seen, but Patricia in itself is lovely
mouthful and a decided improvement
on Gladys and Gwendoline, which are
as common as Edith and Mabel were ten
years ago.-London Letter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28

luu- To. LII Is very pleasant TO make love
and that is why marriage is so I'M
pleasant: one can't make love then.
Making love is game that should al
ways be played on the progressive plan.
With the same partner always it be-
comes dreadfully monotonous. 1t is for
that reason that pity the married man.
To futter from flower to flower, never
bestowing affection on any, but affecting
to adore all-that is the bachelors priv
ilege.
But, you say, one cannot make love
with gray hairs An old beau is the
most ridiculous of men, Yes, you are
right. But it is not necessary to be al
ways making love. AS one grows old
there are so many other hobbies.
Puff! How blue that smoke is! A
kind of fading, ethereal blue, not tang
ible in words or from the palette. A
blue like the blue of a pair of eyes-ah,
what glorious eyes they are-set in a
marble white frame-like the blue and
white loves of Dresden china
wonder, by the way, if she meant all
she said-with those eyes-at the Bron-
sons that night! She saba good deal
She is really-not half bad. Rose Alvin
"a pretty name-rather. Rose-um,
she will still be Rose if. Wen-the
fact is-between me and the blue smoke
her face has been haunting me like
ghost. | might-marry the ghost. From
what her eyes said that night-she
wouldn't say no. If were to throw
away this cigar-put on my hat and
gloves, and go to her-what an exquisite
joke it would demonstrating what |
said about marriage just now. Puff!
By jove, will do it! Pah, goodby, CT
gar-even bad things have an end This
glove-comes on too easily-deuced bad
form Um-how dust will settle on a
mans hat. Now-I think I'll do.
What's that? The city post. HIM.
Dun's bills Aha woman's hand.
What? MIR. and Mrs. Alvin an
nounce the wedding of their daughter,
Rose"-
Ugh. How chill the room seems.
must-light fresh cigar. Percy Pol
lard in Epoch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
Stones Are Composed of Shells.

The tripoi, used for polishing our ia
beware, is composed entirely of the 81
licious shells of infusoria. The earthly
paint with which our houses are colored
is nothing but the remains of different
species of these animals Even the hard
est rocks-the fints-show, when exam
ined under the microscope, that they,
too. are composed of the skeletons of in
fusoria. | once examined thin section
of flint formerly used by the great
hunter, Daniel Boone. This flint was
composed of the shells of infusoria. The
gun, an old fintlock rife. from which
this flint was taken, is still preserved at
Frankfort, Ky.
Even many of the precious stones, such
as the carnelian, owe their beautiful
colors to the presence of fossil infusoria
Macon Telegraph.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-05-28
JUST A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE.
The Possession of 1t Does Not Pay Yer,
Well in the Long Run.

The Possession of 1t Does Not Pay Very
Well in the Long Run.
1T doesn't pay to know just little
about things" said one of those men
who are always after general informa-
ton" Judging from experience l
thoroughly agree with the gentleman
who said, a little knowledge is danger
Gus thing For example, I have never
been able TO eat an egg with thorough
relish-though exceedingly fond of them
for their favor-since l learned that the
little spot on one side of the yelk, toward
the butt end, is the germ of the chicken.
You may cook an egg in what fashion
you please. but whether it is boiled,
poached or fried, you will find that germ
always conspicuous, when once you
know it is there, and you cannot eat the
egg until you have carefully removed it.
1t would add considerably to my happi-
ness if / could believe today what 1 was
taught in the nursery, that the white of
an egg makes the bones of the subsequent
fowl and the yelk the flesh instead ef