The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-20
BRIGHT BITS.

HE--I have never yet met the woman I
thought cou marry.
she--No. they are very hard to please, as a
rule.-Life'S Calendar.
SHE-I am afraid that bell ringing means an
other caller.
He umploringlyl-You know there is such a
thing as you not being at home.
She-Yes. and there is such thing as my
being engaged. B ookl5rI Life.
WANT do you conceive to be the chief end of
man, doctor?' asked the freshman.
We'll" returned the professor, thoughtfully,
lit al depends II you are going in for scholar
ships, should say the heal; if tor football
honors, the foot is the end TO be cultivated. ~.
Han per'S BdzGr.
TOURIST lin Oklahomay--Why. Mr.. Harps. /
am surprised to see you here at the race track.
three miles from your church, on the Sabbath!
The Rev. Mr.. Harps with dignity)-You
didu' t suppose my voice was strong enough TO
reach my congregation at distance of three
miles, did your Pttck. rs5asz
YOUNG MANI have poem here
Editor after examining itlTWell, how does
$40 strike you?
Young man-That's really more than ex-
pected. s-
Editorrwel, we can't publish such a poem as
that for less than $l0.-Judge.
A NEW York WOMAN has gone into the bust
ness of selling secondhand trousSeaus She
was mortified the other day by receiving this
epistle, written in masculine hand:
''Madame-Pleass send one pair secondhand
trowsers TO my address. See that they do not
bag at the knees."-Detroft Free Press.
They took the Fitchburg from Boston to
Troy. At the Falls the brakeman thrust his
"Hoosick? Hoosickf'' Alfred Rufus looked in
| quiringly around the car. and discovering no
| object in need of physicians care, appealed
| to his father: Papa, who is straightforward
| ceIttcat Era.
CYRUS" said his wife, as he came in YEARLY
| and threw himself the lOuDpa after an
| evening down town, II wish you would let
| politics alone. The excitement and worry are
| just running your health"
II can't help it, Emily" replied the alder
| man from the S'teenth ward. II am not in
politics for my health. Chic go Tribune.
A GENTLEMAN at the Free Synod Of Suther-
| land and Caithness said that the Highlands were
not yet ripe for preaching total abstinence. He
quoted the case of a candidate for q vacant con-
| gregation having offended an elder by refusing
a glass of whisky. The elder remarked that he
could not see how the young preacher could
| have grace when he would not drink whisky
| The Churchinun.
| HICKS Wonder what's the matter with Sur
| leigh. He never goes anywhere. never sees
| anybody. and in fay is as much a hermit as
though he lived 10O miles from human habi-
tation.
| Wicks-Nothing at all's the matter with him.
He is engaged in solving the social problem. and
naturally he does not wish to have his mind dis
| tracted by association with his fellow man
| Boston Transcript.
| JUDGE VANDERsTALK is a prominent New
| Yorker, who is immensely wealthy and closer
| than the bark on dog. He walks the entire
| distance from city hall to his residence on
Ninety ninth street, although just now the heat
| is very great. There are street cars running
| right to his door. A friend said to him: 1T
| must make you sick to walk eight miles home
| to dinner. don't see how you can eat a mouth
| full"
That's just why 1 walk replied Wander
| stalk, who is descended from one of the very
original Dutch settlers, ''yes, that's why walk.
| 1t makes so tired can't eat If were to
| ride home Ia have a starving appetite, but
| when / walk so far l have no appetite at all
| when l get home. so you see l save both car
fare and dinner. II erds Siftings.