Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-01-29

The Game of Life.
This world is not paradise,
A place all milk and honey,
But it's considered rather nice
By those who have the money.
Hence this makes life gambling game;
If you're not pat you bluff,
And If you win the rest exclalm,
That fellow has the stuff"
TIE business man will take hand.
So will the speculator,
Likewise the chap who tills the land,
Also the legislator.
No matter if the cards are stacked,
And cheating plain enough.
The one who wins is not attacked,
Because he has the stuff"
The games exciting, play runs high,
Gold, fame and love are staked;
The winners laugh, the losers sigh,
Still thirst for wealth's unslaked.
Go where you will, by night or day,
Where life is smooth or rough,
If you're a winner they will say:
THAT fellow has the stuff"
It's shuttle and deal
For woe or for veal;
On the cards you hold
Stake life for gold;
How the devil grins
When the best man winsi
THE proof of the pudding Of to-day is the
name of the maker on the can.
LAWS that can be broken in the name of
Justice work an injustice and breed contempt
ible criminals
If the human family was not inquisitive,
housekeepers would not have to spend so much
for window blinds.
THE absent-minded man cannot mind his
own business.
THE Woods Runners who cremated Don
Cameron evidently believe he earned his ashes.
CHICAGO has staked its reputation on the
Worlds Fair, and drove the first stake on Tues
day after notifying property owners on the site
to pull up stakes.
AND now the sink makers have decided to
sink their differences in pool. They should
make connections with the sewer pipe men.
WHEN is a street car patron like Congress
sional contestant? When he's unseated.
You can always get tick for a telegraph mes
sage.
If rich mans dudish son wears corsets he Is
merely compressed heir.
INGALLS, should draw some consolation from
the fact that the man who will fill his shoes
wears socks.
WHEN it comes to the barbed wire trust.
the public should remember that it is useless to
kick against the pricks.
THE sole hope of the poor lies In the fact that
salvation is in the main free and heaven be-
yond the reach of land grabbers.
DON CAMERON is acting as II he fully real.
lied that this is his last term as Senator.
THE world would not be out of sight after a
blizzard if the wires were.
WHY are some Of the bills before the Iepis.
lature like horses? Because the carry riders. of
course.
THE human body is the only piece of mechan.
ism that goes broke.
THE bitter end of life is the spoiled portion
of it.
them in her arms or pushes them in the per-
ambulator.
THE sealskin will soon be placed where
neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where
thieves cannot break through and steal.
WHEN is a girl like a cigar? When she
wears wrapper and is placed to the lips.
THE briefs in the Bering Sea case will be any,
thing but brief
A GREAT many measures introduced in Con-
eress and the Legislatures can appropriately be
called play-bills. They are intended to amuse
the public.
OLD maids must have been very hard to
please in their young days.
THE individual with warped judgment
seldom looms up.
MODERN lawmakers tax the patience of the
public as well as its resources.
The Bellamy kitchen out in Illinois Is in the
soup Too many cooks spoiled the broth.
THE Bierbauer case is annoying the base ball