The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-13
sUNFLowER snHoUErTEs.

To Kansas Republicans plenty grain
means plenty gain.
The calamity howlers acknowledge the
cotn-25O,O 900 600 bushels of it.
The Republican victories are like the
serial story-"to be continued in our
next"
The first Alliance legislature was the
last. When it adjourned sine die, it was
a sign it died
1t is said to be an actual fact that James
G. Blaine addresses Secretary of State
Higgins in his letters as "My dear Bill"
LeavenworJh viii lose its Catholic bish-
op The pope has ordered Bishop Fink to
| Kansas g ty. Kan, and the change will be
made Nov. 16
By the amount OF poultry displayed in
Kansas last week it would not be unreas-
enable to suspect some party in the state
0! being chicken hearted.
Next year the most important election
returns for Kansas will come from Wash
iugton-the returns will include Simpson,
Clover, Baker, Otis and Davis.
The Leavenworth young ladies have
formed P. D. :. society. VIII White. in
the Kansas City Journal, promulgates
that the P stands for Pretty and the S for
Smooth.
a banquet was given to Congressman
| Otis in Topeka last Tuesday night. One
way to be sure of your crowd in Kansas is
to have the promise Of something to eat on
the program.
| The Alliance brought out good many
public speakers who, now that the ALI
ance is done for, will be out of job. The
auctioneering business will no doubt be
overstocked.
Another Alliance sign has leaked out:
Waving the hat wildly in the air and
jumping up and down first on one leg and
then on the other means: y have left
the Alliance, and the whole Republican
ticket is elected"
During recent trip to the west Jay
Gould became rather confidential with
western railroad man who accompanied
him. Il am afraid to become too friendly
with any one " he said one night while
t ey were sitting in Mr.. Gould's car; "the
moment l show preference for man he
tries to work me for something. 1t has
been said that am cold and Rustere. |
have to be. If / admire cigar, or neck
tie, or child, the owner al once fixes up
snap to borrow money from me or interest
me in some scheme. If go on the street
am stared at as people stare at curios-
ity, and l dislike it very much. Being a
rich man has almost as many disadvan-
tages as being poor man. The habits of
austerity, to which people object, are al
most absolutely necessary. | suppose l
am the most generally misrepresented
man in America. l never saw newspa
per reference to myself in my life that was
true"
81 tell you what" said one Kansas Re
publican to friend yesterday, "a little
phrase can make man wellnigh misera-
bIe."
'Indeed? Were you ever troubled that
way?''
Yes used to be haunted night and
day by the saying Life is short ana time
is feeting' am busy man and have so
much to do that my life is slipping away
speedily. 1 used to brood over it good
deal, but I've got over it"
How did you do it?"
''Well, strange enough. 1 owe my re
covery 10 the Alliance"
"To the Alliance?"
Yes, sir Now, when get to brooding |
over how time flies just stop and think |
how long those six years will be that !
PETER holds seat in the senate, and it !
fetches me around straight in jiffy."
a man was pacing up and down the |
sidewalk yesterday in front of the EAGLE |
office in great passion, gnashing his
teeth and swearing in an undertone. Sew |
h rfth
anything, but small boy took compass
sion upon the enraged man and essayed to
inquire into his troubles.
''SickY questioned the boy.
NO" snarled the man, still pacing
Lost something?" asked the boy again. |
'No Go off aud leave me alone"
Sure you haven't lost anything?" the /
boy said, moving away.
NO Get out of here"
But you have lost something, know"
yelled the boy at distance.
'Eh?" said the man, looking about to
see if he had dropped anything, 'what?"
"Why. your temper; don't you see?"
There were no bricks around; besides, the
boy had turned the corner.
A fairy tale of the Twentieth century:
Once upon time, a King offered to confer
n great fortune on the man who would go
to certain barren spot in the Sahara
desert and find anything, other than the
sand beneath and the sky above And
many advanced 20 the desert point and
came back fruitless. There is nothing
there" each said, but the sand below and
the sky above" " But after many days, a
Cynic from the Society of Kansans, who
in the days of ancient party government
organized a Calamity party, and who gave
his name as G Howler, made known his
desires to go on the search. And in this
barren spot he remained four days; the sun
beat on him in the daytime and the nights
were too not to sleep. And when he came
before the King his brow was knit in cha
grin and his mouth drawn down in dis
gust. 90! adventurer," cried the King
SIS thy search, too, like all the rest, fruit
less oue?"
mo, sire. You bet your boots.' cried c.
Howler Fork over your cash, Mr. King"
"Howis this?" roared the King, jumping
to his feet Have you found aught else
but the sky above and the sand beneath?"
"Yes, sire"
''Well, whati"
Il found fault"
Arkansas City Dispatch: at seems
that the Wichita EAGLE is one Of those
papers that tell the truth once or twice a
year, just to shake up the dry bones in
the party and let the bosses know that
such thing as truth-telling Is possible
with RaD,,hiinaD r,aDars Taet xr;rsar [