davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
14S4-A GREAT BLUNDER.

A servant girl, who was always making blum
ders was busting the parlor, in which was a
bust of the lady for whom she worked. In
some way she pushed it from the pedestal to
the floor and the head was severed from the
shoulders. In her terror she attempted to re-
place the head, and made another blunder by
putting on, not the head. but something that
caused pain. Just then she heard her lady IN
the hall, and half beside herself with fear she
snal ched another article and placed it upon the
headless bust, and found that it then repre-
sented a lock of the lady's husbands hair. The
lady herself just then entered the room. and
her Indignation cap be better imagined than
described. ETHYL.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

monogram of the fair giver. OF course, the
value of the cane is enhanced by the num-
Der Of shiny disks to be counted, and when
you meet young fellow swinging stick
studded half way down to the ferrule, you
may know he is very popular with his young
women friends.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Wants His Window Broken.

PhIIadeI DhIa Press.I
The Chinese have but a vague idea of the
meaning of the English language. One on
North Fifteenth street has in his window q
placard inscribed, $50 reward to any enc
breaking this window Thus far no per-
son has M de an effort to collect the money.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
1481-PHONETICISMs.

l. Garry all the tea out of city in China and
you will find cathedral officer.
2 If you chance to he in the garden Of q high
church dignitary pull up his peas, and all that
remains will be piece of hoe.
g. If you undertake to brush bee from
wall ornament, you will make great noise by
so doing.
4. If you can be SO heartless to a preacher as
to put out one of his eyes, he will at once go to
a monastery. ETHYL.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
14S3-TRANSPoSITION.

The one addicted TO the prime
Expects 4 tGU0 at any time.
He's never safe from anxious fears:
In debt. no doubt, up to his ears;
Striving to make show on naught,
Not knowing when he may be brought
Unto the last resource he knows;
Ne'er thinking to pay what he owes;
BY no one trusted or belleved;
When the tl0o come, by no one grieved.
Such is the devotee of one,
A person honest people shun.
BITTER SWEET
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

Some young men affect bangle canes.
Into their thick English walking sticks are
rregularly-inserted half dimes with the
engraving removed and replaced by the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
SOME ENIGMATICAL NUTS.

Puzzles for the Little Folks That VIII Keep
Their Brains Busy for Most of the Week
If They Solve Them Correctly-Home
Amusements.
address Communications for this department
TO Z. r. CHADBoURN. LeDisfon. Maine.
147S-GREEK DEITIEs.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
oRNAMENrED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS.

A Novel Tea Service Being Made for the
Princess of Wales.
Pail Nall Budget.
photographer, and Mortlock's are making
her a tea service which is to be orna-
mented with photographs that she took while
in Scotland. The ground OF the china will
be ivory, and the pictures will be orange.
A dinner service in those colors was made
for the Prince of Orange by Wedgewood in
the last century.
The Princess has supplied MortlOck's
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
14S6-AMPUTATIONS.

14S6-AMPUTATIoNS
Behold a noble animal;
His head from shoulders sever,
And what is lett will, in sense,
Be just the same as ever.
Replace this graceful creatures head
His flesh with fear will Quiyer-
Cut off his tail, and what is left
Will be foreign river. MRS Z.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

A POLICY better than that of any gov
ernmeni, take DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup in
time
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
14S7-REvERSAL.

14S7-REvERSAL.
Some think that aUhote's final drink,
With them Ican't agree;
If indulged in it, think.
'Twould get the best of me.
Some think that ,Dhote's a final drink,
That there is none that's better,
But soon they find. to their dismay.
II binds them with fetter. IL ORION.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
ANSWERS

1469-The inevitable is bound to occur.
("rhe" in ''evitable" is bound to cur.
l70-M-allce; Dandy: Pact; Malt; Annex;
J0-y-e; Coin. ..
l47I-Klnd-led.
l472-Pitchers. chairs (chares), check, tables,
stand, ranges, butter-dish (but disn), SIDE
board, urns (erns).
1i73-Down.
1E4-Vale, lave,
l4I6- NJ
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
BY FRANK R. STOCKTON n
WRITTEN FOR THE DISPATCH

author of Lady Spectral
'Negatire Grarity.'' "IAe Mrs. Nuu,'
Mana
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Rice Pies,

Wash and soak q teacupful of rice. Put int
a stewpan with quart of boiling water. Wher
quite tender add quart of milk, a teaspoonfu
of salt, grated nutmeg and five we'll I-beater
eggs. Sweeten TO taste and press through
sieve. Bake i'll pie tins without upper crust.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

Line patty pans with rich puff paste, Fill
with raw rice and bake until crisp. Remove
the rice, and when cold fill with the banana
mixture, made follows: Mix halt dozen
minced bananas with half cupful of whipped
cream and two rablespoonfuls of sugar. Gar.
nish the tops Of tie pates with whipped cream.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Banana Pudding.

Line a deep dessert dish with slices of sponge
cake and alternate with thin slices of banana
and cake until the dish IS full. Pour over the
whole pint of cold-boiled custard and heap
With whipped cream.
Here are some general recipes that will be
found reliable:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Apple Short Cake.
Banana Pates.

Make rich biscuit dough. Bake in jelly eak
tins. Split and spread between sweetene
apple sauce, favored to TASTE
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

l476-Mechanician.
a4T-Flow, low.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

Take equal parts of leftover Goldfish and cold
mashed potaLoes-a pint of each; SUR in 4
beaten egg and little -four; shape into balls
and glaze with egg: roll in crumbs and set
aside for 30 minutes; Immerse in smoking fat
for 10 OF 15 minutes; drain and serve.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
The Wonders of the World.

The greatest or at least tue most massive or
the ancient Wonders of the world were the
pyramids of Egypt. Although bnilt ages be-
fore SolOmon's wisdom decided the first his
torical question of baby ownership, before
little Moses hoated in the wicker basket among
the bulrushes Of the Nile, and even long before
Abraham was born, the ~ pyramids were
silently watching the moving panorama Of the
world. But there is not an expert civil engi-
neer in the United States who would not take
contract to duplicate the whole 20 for the Chi
caro- Worlds Fair If they would agree to make
the date four years instead of one year after
the four hundredth anniversary of COlumbus's
discovery. Five years time and ample money
would be all the engineer would ask, although
the G :zeh or Great Pyramid was 80 years bnild-
ing with force of 100000 men. But all the
work on the pyramids was done by human
muscle. They had none of the modern me-
chanical appliances. Their work is only won
derful because 1nder these circumstances they
were able to pile enormous stones upon one
another TO maximum height of 49, feet.
The banging gardens of Babylon would not
be much of wonder" in our day. Their base
was a square of four acres. rising on stone ter
races to 500 feet at the summit: Lead sheets TO
retain moisture above COVERED the stonework,
with earth on top. Trees shrnbbery, flowers,
fountains and the like completed the misuamed
changing" gardens The Colossus of Rhodes was
a statue made of metal plates, like the Statue
of Liberty IN New York Harbor. 1t was about
gO feet high less than one-IhirG as high as Lib
erry Statue. The Temple of Diana, at Ephesus
was building % by 40 feet at the base. 1t was
weighing I50 tons each. Every one of these
pillars wa. 4 present from = King, representing
i27 Kingdoms. and this fact added 20 the fame
OF the Temple. But fame finally ruined It. An
ambitious youth, with the object of making a
short lump to fame and immor aiity, fired the
Temple in the night. when all Ephesus
carousIng over the birth of Alexander and it
was totally des royed. The Pharos of Alexan-
dria was lighthouse at the entrance of the
harbor 1t was 4U0 feet high, and Substan-
TALLY built that it lasted l6OO years. The statue
Of Jupiter at Athens was creditable work of
art and the Mausoleum which Artemes;a built
for the remains of her departed husband. the
King of Caria, was doubtless very clever
piece of sepulchral archiI lecture. But the only
one of the seven wopders" in existence to-day
are the pyramids of Egypt. and we have many
great monuments of engineering genius. con-
structed within the memory of the present gen.
Grafton, that dwarf the greatest achievements
of the ancients. The money and scientific
kunwl- dge that have produced our great rail-
ways, mountain tunnels, ocean steamships and
SO on, could quickly reproduce all the ancient
wonders, and add great many modern i'm
provements" j. h. WEBB.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Brown Bread.

One cupful of sweet milk. one cupful of mo
lasses, one cupful OF graham flour, one cupfu
of -four, one teaspoonful of baking powder 10
saleratus); put in mold and steam tor thre,
hours.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29
Graham Bread.

Stir graham -four into boiling water to whic
little salt has been added. Stir well, and lie
boil for one-half hour Serve with cream o
with molasses or maple syrup.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-29

To a quart of boiled or canned lobster GU
into small pieces, add three tablespooufuls o.
vinegar two of oil, ;eaSpoonfuI of salt and
half teaspoonful of pepper; set aside for ar
hour, when n cupful of mayonnaise or cream
dressing may bs added. When about to serve
arrange on lettuce leaves.
ELLICE SERENA.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
A Joke That F allied.

An excellent story is told Of Pro
fessor Rogers and DR. X. w. Dale
These two gentlemen were giving a
series Of lectures, and at every town
which they visited, DR.. Dale noticed
that his colleague, who always spoke
first, made the same speech In fact,
so often did the professor give that
speech that the worthy doctor knew
it off by heart, and this fact led the
latter TO think of way Of taking the
wind out Of his friends sails.
On their arrival at certain town,
DR.. Dale asked Dr. Rogers TO allow
him TO speak first. an arrangement TO
which the latter readily agreed so
DR.. Dale rose and proceeded TO deliv-
er the speech of DIR. Rogers, looking
every now and then with the corner
Of his eve 10 see how that worthy gen
tleman was taking this practical joke.
DIR. Rogers sat calm and composed,
and when at length his turn came 10
speak, he just as calmly rose and de-
livered. to DR.. Dale's utter astonish-
ment. quite a new speech.
At the conclusion Of the meeting,
DR.. Dale said to his colleague
Il thought | had taken the wind
out Of your sails. tonight"
DR.. Rogers replied:
"Oh. no = ! delivered that speech
when | was here a month ago"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
Grove Bros,
HAGERSTOWN.

The largest stock we have ever
handled now loads our shelves; to
sell it we must do the largest business
we have ever done. This we expect
to accomplish by our low prices. The
lowest, mind you, on as good goods,
as are offered for sale anywhere. We
are exceptionally strong this season
on shirts, all the popular grades, at
right prices, from an elegant shirt for
80 cents, to the finest all silk shirt.
We are handling this season a Negli-
gee shirt that has the collars and cuffs
starched while the bosom remains
soft, and making the garment both
comfortable and slightly. Come in
and see them.
Our line of piece goods both For
eign and Domestic are very hand
some and price as low as they can be
sold. No trouble to show goods.
GROVE BROS,
Tailors and Furnishers,
Hagerstown, Md.
Orders by mail solicited.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
SOUL TO SOUL.

Through all tho spare that lies SO wide and
boundless,
Between the life that is and life 10 be.
The mystic power that holds our souls to-
gether
| VIII still reach out and bind your soul 10
me.
The lightest thought Of JOY or love or sorrow
That stirs the ripples in your LIES calm
flow
VIII vlbrate through the waves OF space be-
tween us,
And thrill me with its gladness OF its woe.
And sometimes through the baser earth life
echoes,
Your soul will catch strain OF music sweet;
One chord from out the great harmonious
chorus,
That thrills the silence where the heavens
meet,
And you shall know, by some strange lntui-
ton,
That our two souls ne'er parted for day
Since first we felt the pure and sweet COM
munion
OF heart to heart. before | went away.
And when at last you feel the cords draw
tighter
That bnd you to me through the vast un-
known,
And earthly scenes grow faint and far and
DINNER,
While strangely sweet the music soft has
grown,
Th"n, like bird TO It's far home returning,
Your soul will wing its way through bound
less space,
And, with heaven born instinct, true, un-
erriug,
Will seek its home, and shall see you face
TO face.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
Well Pleas sed.

Frederick William III, Kin. Of Prus-
sia. and great grandpater Of the pres
ent Emperor. was extremely averse TO
long speeches. and talked, whenever
il was possible. in infnitives only.
While taking the waters at Teplitz he
heard Of a Hungarian Inagnate who
never made long speeches.
Must be decent fellow. Like TO
know him, d" muttered the king.
When a day or two afterward the
Hungarian met him on his prone
made the king stepped up to him, and
the following laconic conversation
took place
Battle
Take waters"
Soldier 2
"Magnate."
Indeed"
policeman s.
King"
Congratulate"
And each went on his way well sat
| isfed.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17

NOT A PACKAGE OR PINT OF OLD SEED
INTHE HOUSE. WE OFFER YOU
BEETS.-Eclipse, Egyptian, Early Fore
ing, Bassano.
CABBAGE.-E Earliest, Forcing, Jersey
Wakefield, Early Drumh cad, Winningstadt,
Bullock Heart, Large York, l)rumhead Si-
voy, Green Curled savoy, Late Drumhead,
Large Late Flat Dutch.
Fine Variety of CELERY.
LETTUCE.-Forcing (head), Silesian
(curled).
CANTELOUPE.-Casab Melted Nutmeg.
"Boss" WATERMELON.
ONION SEED.-Silver Skin and others.
PARSNIPs and Satisfy.
RADISHES.- Turnip, Earliest
Scarlet Erfurt, French Breakfast, White La
dy Finger.
Best sorts SQUASH AND TOMATO Seed
BUNCH BEANS-First in the Market, EX-
ira Early Red Valentine, Red Speckled Val
entine Early Brown Weeks, Scarlet, Ger
man or Black Wax, White Valentine, I'm,
proved Golden Wax, White Wax, Royal
Dwarf.
POLE BEANS. Large Lima, Crease Back
or Fat Horse, southern Prolific.
PEAS.-Extra Early, American Wonder
McIean's Little Gem, Premium Gem, Nc
Leans Prolific, Stratagem, Eugene.
ADAMS EARLY CORN.
SUGAR CORN.-Extra Early Minnesota
Early Crosby, Landreth, Early Mammoth,
Stowell's Evergreen.
TURNIP SEED in Bulk.
Have handled Other seeds not named above.
as they are already sold. Anything you may
need not in stock I'll take pleasure in order
ing for you. SILVER SKIN ONION SEED
and SETS just received.
Respectfully.
j. GREGG GIBSON, Druggist,
Shephe erdstown, W. Va.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
His Lucky Guess.
tain

With gesture expressive OF firm res
olution, as II the affair was quite set
tied. the Countess Madeline pointed
TO her lacquered Japanese cabinet
that -himinered ia the lamplight and
said very gravely:
Open one Of those three drawers,
Valentine. and be sure that you choose
the right one Each drawer contains
an answer 10 the prayer you have nd
dressed 10 ire for the past six months.
II you open that which contains the
answer Yes, I will be yours aud will
marry youas soon n you please. But
take care that you do not get the
wrong answer, for II you do, you will
never see me again
Alas said Valentine. there are
two chances to one against me. How
cruel you are, my dsrling!'
well" >" said the countess, III I mar
ry you can at least lay the blame on
fate
The young man hesitated long
time. His hand wandered from
drawer TO drawer, not venturing 10
touch any, and his heart sank with
fear Of choosing wrongly. At last he
shut his eyes and opened a drawer at
hazard
Oh. rapture! The little piece Of
pink paper, when unfolded, disclosed
10 his glad eyes the acquisite word,
Yes" In ecstacy he clasped blush
ing Madeline in his arms and covered
her face with kisses. She could not
deny him now without "A disgraeeful
violation Of her promise But Made
line was an upright person, who al
ways kept her word, and so he was
soon able 10 call her his wife.
Still. even amid the raptures Of the
honeymoon, Valentine was not en-;
tirely happy. At times gloomy ex-
preston appeared on his brow and In
his eyes.
"Ungrateful maDr' signed Madeline,
you are not yet satisfied. What Is the
matterf'
Il am troubled about something"
About whatT'
II owe my wife TO chance, rot to
her own inclination"
He remained pensive for time
while she looked sniIingIy at him.
Suddenly she broke into merry
laugh.
Stupid man. she cried. Don't
you see that put the same answerin
all three drawersf'
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
Subjects for Thought.
There is value in experiment.
Love is mutual understanding.

lneTe Il
Love is mutual understanding.
The reward OF one duty done is the
power TO fulfill another.
Magnanimity owes no account 10
prudence of its motives.
General tidiness not only pays on
its own account, but because TO be
tidy is 10 be economical.
II everybody knew what one said
Of another, there would not be four
friends left in the world.
There probably never was man
so good that he did not hope in his
heart that his successor would be a
failure.
To be- always intending 10 lead
new life, but never TO find time TO set
about il, is as If a man should put oil
eating and drinking from one day To
another, till he i starved and de
stroyeG.
Punishment j. fruit that, un-
suspected, ripens within the flower of
the pleasure which concealed IL.
Cause and effect, means and end,
seed and fruit can not be severed, for
the efrect already blooms in the cause,
the end preeNists in the means. the
fruit in the seed.
Every individual owes obedience To
something, and there can be no obedi
ence without authority. Indeed
freedom, rightly understood, imposes
the most solemn obligations OF all.
When no human control binds man,
he is bound with the greater stress To
obey the right. to bow To the author
ity OF conscience, TO live up To his
highest ideal.
OF no use are the men who study 10
do exactly "a was done before, who
can never understand that TO day IL "a
new day. We want men OF original
action, who can open their eyes
wider than TO II nationality. namely,
10 considerations OF benefit 10 the
human race, can act in the interest ot
civilization; men OF elastic, men of
moral mind. who can live in the
moment and take "A step forward
There are things that could never
grow familiar. Daybreak is one.
There il always mystery about IL. 1t
is like coming To life again after
death. You have been away you
don't know where, and you come
back again to the world, and when
you find it "a it l. now, belonging
almost to yourself. all the other
people as good as out Of IL, IL is very
strange. No, am not afraid OF be-
coming too familiar with beautiful
things.
There has been so much justly said
about the prejudical effects Of over
work, especially in using up the pow
ers OF man and cutting short his life,
that it may be hastily assumed by
some that work itself Is opposed To
length Of days. This, however, Is "a
fatal mistake. Whatever may be
proved concerning the comparative
tendencies Of different employments
to shorten life, II will always be- found
that life Of idleness will surpass them
all. The faculties OF man. used and
not abused, serve not only To benefit
the world, but even more 10 benefit
himself His health, happiness, and
length OF life depend largely upon the
regular, steady, and full-not exoes-
sive-employnent OF his powers. He
who neglects this law, and suffers
them TO run TO waste, leading an aim
less and vacant life, will reap the
penalty quite as much In his own in
ferior condition, physical aud men
tai "a ia any external less he may sus
tain.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-07-17
SHEPHERDSTOWN W. VA, FRIDAY, JULY II, 1891.

that you can do a really brave thing.
What shall it be! | swear TO sat
isfy you, Barbara. "
Il have little proposal to make to
you. Ny plan requires skill as well as
courage"
Tell me-"
We'll, in this house is man watch
ing by corpse. He has sworn not to
leave his post till morning. II you
can make him do it shall be satisfied
that you are as smart and as brave as
| require husband to be-"
why. nothing is so easy" eX-
claimed Fritz. Il can scare him away.
| Furnish me with sheet, show me the
room, and go to your rest, Barbara.
You shall find NE at the post in the
morning
Barbara did as required, and saw
the tanner step blithely away 10 his
task 1t was then nearly - o'clock,
and she sought her own chamber
Barney was sitting at his vigil, and
so far all had been we'll
The face in the coffin cleaned
whittier through the darkness. The
rats squeaked as if famine were up
on them and they smelled dead flesh.
The thought made him shudder. He
got up and walked about, but some
thing made slight noise, as If some
body was behind him, and he put his
chair with its back against the wall,
and sat down again. He had been
hard at work all day, and at last, in
spite of everything. he grew sleepy.
Finally he nodded and Snored.
Suddenly it seemed aS if somebody
had touched him. He awoke with a
start, and saw nobody near, though
in the center Of the room stood Il white
figure
Curse you, get out of this - he eX-
claimed in fright, using the first
words that came to his tongue.
The figure held up its right arm and
slowly approached him. He started
to his feet. The spectre came nearer,
pressing him into the corner
The ID take you - cried Bar
ney, in his extremity.
Involuntarily he stepped back; still
the figure advanced, coming nearer
and nearer, and extending both arms,
as if TO take him in ghastly embrace.
The hair started up Oh Barney :
head; he grew desperate, and just as
the cleaning arms would have touched
him, he fell upon the ghost like n
whirlwind, tearing off the sheet,
humping, pounding, beating and
kicking, more and more enraged at
the resistance he met, which told him
the truth.
As the reader knows, he was big and
Fritz was little; and while he was
pummeling the little tanner unmerci-
fully, and Fritz was trying in vain to
get lunge at Barney's stomach, to
take the wind out of him, both plung
ing and kicking like horses. they were
petrified by hearing "A voice cry
Take one of your size, Big Bar
ney."
Looking around, they saw the corpse
sitting up in his coffin. This was too
much They released each other and
sLrang for the door. They never
knew how they got out, but they ran
home in hot haste, painting like stags.
1t was Barbara herself who came
and opened the door upon Ernest the
next morning.
Its very early; one more little
nap, said he, turning over in the cof-
fin.
SO she married him, and though she
sent Fritz and Barney invitations to
the wedding. they did not appear. II
they discovered the trick they kept
the knowledge to themselves, and
never willingly faced Barbara : laugh
ing eyes again.