The Rugby news. (Rugby, Morgan County, Tenn.) 1890-189?, 1891-01-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

FTAN"
Man is a power in the land, but
after all, he can't get married without q
woman's consent.-Drake's Magazine.
-Tom-"Get an invitation to Charles
wedding?" Jack (gleefully)-"No. Did
your" Tom (sadlX)-"Yes. Lend me
tenner."-Yankee Blade.
-Teacher-"You say there are six
senses? Why, I have only Ave." Scholar
81 know it, sir. The sixth one is COM
mon sense.',-Detroit Free Press.
Timely Advice. 7He-iT feel COM
pletely Frustrated. wish were dead. y,
She-"Well, why don't you let me send
for doctor?"--Brooklyn Life.
ARTILLERY Lieutenant lin the way of
COMPLIMENTARY, my sdear' young
lady, butlyour loolssii your sglances, go
right home. Every ones a bulls eye"
-Fliegende Blaetter. ~" ~@ ~"
,s-Watts-"Wonderl4 why they always
call locomotive 'she?'" Potts-"'May
be it is on account Of the horrible noise
it makesgwhen it tries to whistle. In
dianapolis Journal. ~.
-"Are there still active volcanoes In
existence?p said the pupil. 20, yes,
indeed" replied the Professor absently.
SPY the way, are you acquainted with
my wife?"-St, Joseph News. NO.
Professor Patterby--"Define the diff
ference between wit and humor, Mr..
Fresh" Jack Fresh-"'Wit is written
by the paragraph and humor by the
column" a"' tF> al u p.I@~
Yes, / once failed for a hundred
thousand" remarked the red-headed
man who hadn't treated yet "You see,
the girl was worth that in her ownTight
and refused me. "-Philadelphia Times.
Accounted For. -"There was q
guard on the "a road this morning who
pronounced the names of the stations as
clearly as Booth could" 81 know the
man you mean. He is Russian.NN.
Y. Sun.
-"Can women be the heads Of bust
ness. firms in this scountry?" ''Yes, but
there's one position they never assume
if married." 1.-The senior mem ber?"
''No,. the silent partner. "-Philadelphia
Times.
She ~ Edward, the minister has
asked me to sing at the concert forAthe
church fund. and L" He eagerly
30, go by all means. never did have
much love for that parson or his congre-
CATION either. "-Demorest's Monthly.
-Simpson-''Whatev induced your
uncle to marry the widow of a man who
was hung" Jimpson-"He had been
married to widows before, and says he
was tired of having the virtues of former
husbands constantly flung in his face"
Epoch.
81 in Russia. -Official-"You can not
stay in this country, sir" Traveller
''Then I'll leave it." Official Have
you permit to leave?" Traveler-''No,
sir" Official Then you can not go. "
leave you twenty -four hours to make up
your mind as to what you shall do. I'm
Y. Sun. .s,t 10 q
-Teacher-..T don't see why you
can't understand this rule in arith1ne-
tic, Johnny. 1t didn't take me five min
utes to understand it when it was first
explained to me. o. johnny" Perhaps
your teacher explained It to You better"
West Shore.
--Grammatical Item.-"Mishteri Sill
.verstein, y said Nose, Schumburg to his
clerk, "chump up on dose ladders and
hand me down desc schentlemanly.un-
dervear." at vas not correct to say
dose ladders" replied the clerk, who
prides himself on his knowledge Of
grammar. 81 know lot better den you,
Mr.. Silverstein; and ven say dose lad
ders,' you may be,sure 7 have some par
ticular reason Wy ], say dose ladder -
Texas Siftings.
2 HE wAseToo HONEST. 'V~s !.
An Insurance. Agent COMES Ae4oss- a'sua
~ q, seas prising tCpsssea "a ! IDA
A Detroit life insurance agent re-
Gently received a lester from a manIik
the interior of the, State whopsaid he
was thinking of taking out policy, and
he asked that sas blank be Forwarded
him.. sItrwas returned, and the follows
ing is a specimen of the mans honesty:
"What did your father die ofgn seTs
Consumption r, 4os ers atsaF
"Your mother"
.sThe same.r aiI1 nf tJJGdlA ed
ever have heart .trouble?p y..,lsaq
eyes, very bad
ls'Lostany brothersor sisssrsby DEATH
and if so what did they die off," osasl
"Lost ave OF them, and all died Of
i consumption and heart disease" J1ai q
"Do you ever spit blood?"
"Heaps of times"
I ever had any serious accident?"
/ eyes. Had nearly all my bones
broken two or three times"
s.lM Nsm nR5y gg0sHqfSes',s ell ,LAo 30
s',sleep wellgha boeg 2 5-lael GO
"No." n u, -.
1 snHow's your our appetizer o. ~ 'q@
4 3,syeryspoor;''s % quail Ie5aedSG@
Several ether important Question.
were answered after the same candle
fashion, and the ageHt had tonyrite hin
that there was no life insurance, for *
I truthful a mau.-Detroit Free Prem. -