Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-09-23

Q At chamber window her father stands,
And rubs his hands.
III.
For s while he watches them unawares,
Then goes down stairs
".
He looses his dog from his iron chain
The rest is plain.
The moonlight silvers the garden gate;
The lonr Is late.
w. b. Hills, in sonerville Journal.
The difference between ships and
bsrks that are wrecked is-the first are
W. ecked by the presence Of rocks, the
last by their absence. - Roanoke
Herald.
Tangible-Second groom (waitiug
at tea for the nonce, and handing thin
d-and-butter-sotto voce) "Clap
to or three bits together, Misc, then
You'll get bitel"
A good thing can be carried too far.
A Boston man, who had been told that
he was about TO die, asked the doctor
for his bill, saying that he did not wish
TO depart from his lifelong rule, 81 Pay
as yoI go."-Rome Sentinel.
Etymclogy-"How do you do, my
little man? I'm your next-door
neighbor, you knowl'' "What's a
neighbour "Well-neiph means
nigh; that is. rear, and" 'sOh,
thank you. l know what bore
means!"
"a penny for your thoughts!" ex.
claimeu Miss Amy TO young Gosliu.
"Oh, aw-I don't want to wob YOU
like that, doncLer know" replied Cos
lin, and then be couldn't see why
everybody laughed so uproarously-~
New York Sun.
Some fellow has invented Il time
lock for the front door, which registers
the exact time ,he head of the house
returns home at night, or early in the
morning, as the case may be. 1t is
safe to wager $1,000 against 81 that
the inventor hasn't got wife. Nor
ristown Herald.
Want Of Trsining-room Miss Ken
nelworth-"Ile's pretty collie; but
| don't see why he wags his tail up and
down, instead of sidewise."
Mrs Morris Parke-"The poor thing
has always lived with us in our Harlem
fiat, and that's the only way he could
wag it."-Puck.
Ghost Cat seance)-''Do you rec.
ognize me?"
Mrs. Topper (confidentially)-"Ye
You are my late husband, John Topper j"
Ghost (surprised)-"How did you
know me?"
Mrs. Topper (frmly) ID snelt your
breatn."-Lowell Mail.
Beggar-''Boss, would you give me
quarter? Pm dead broke
Bloated Bondholder-'I never give
money to people on the street"
Beggar - "Well, boss, there's a
saloon on the corner, or if you're a
Prohibitionist we could go into the
hotel yonder. Epoch.
Teacher-"Relate an incident in the
life of Moses"
Tommy Jersey-''Onedav he saw an
Egyptian striving with a Hebrew, and
he said unto the Egyptian, Render
unto Cesar the things that are Cassr's,'
and thereupon smote him and cut of
his New York Herald.
Conductor Crowded car)-"Plenty
O. room inside" Passenger Gone of
forty hanging 10 straps)-"Plenty of
room, eh? Where is it?' Conductor
(wrathfully) lly)-"Aiongside o. you, you
selfish hunk o. humanity. Want ter
keep that strap all to yerserf, don't
yer!"-New York Weekly
Mistress (kinoly)- ''Jane, 1 hear
you have been seen in the park with
my husband" Jane defiantly -
"Yes, ma'am, have" Mistress (still
more kindly)-"Wcll, Jane, you are a
good girl; but cannot nave any one
about the house who keeps bad com.
pany New Haven Nutmegs.
St. Peter-What is your claim for
r cognition and admittsnce?
Newly Arrived Spirit-In life I was
never guilty of confessing to any an
noyance from a woman's high bonnet
in theatre.
St. Peter-Angelic mani Here is a
check for a front seat.-Pittsburgb
Bulletin.
Bob Happy-''Whst are you doing
off there, Bill ""
Billy Golucky-"To tell you the
truth, can't stand that cigar!"
Bob HapPy-''Why. you gave it me
yourselfl'
Billy GO ucky-'I know; but had
no idea you ere going to smoke it
while you were here. Puck.
The story is told of a Russian gen
eral in the wars of the first Napoleon,
wFo was reported by an English news
paper as found dead on ,he battlefield
with a long word sticking in his
throat. The inference was that he was
choked to death IN attempting to pro-
nounce his own name, the misprint of
word for "sword' not occurring to
the lynx-eyed proof-reader.
Minnie-"I wonder what ever be.
came of Jennie Smart, who took first
prize in our graduating class?"
Mamie - "Why, don't you know7
She wrote an article on The Degrade
ton of American Womanhood,' got
$1,000 for it from magazine, went
into Wall street, made a fortune, and