The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
THB CRITIC
EBROKD.

about suicide, asked an antquated doctor
of surgery as we came ambling down
Capitol Hill on one of those really cheer
ful new carcttes.
"You never did? Well, you should
and you viii find it an interesting sub
iect to think about. Probably, as a news
paper man, you know that the word sui
eide is derived from two Latin words,
sui meaning ones self and cpdere,
to slay or kill Blackstone defines it as
an act of designedly destroying ones
life committed by a person of years of
discretion and OF sound mind but that
great lawyer is clearly wrong in both OF
his premises. Suicides nowadays arc not
confined to people OF years of discretion
and believe it is the custom of careless
takers always to declare that the victim
was of unsound mind.
"That soldier out at the Marine Bar
racks the other day-why he understood
suicide rs a science remarked the old
surgeon, renectively, "llilled himself in
stantly-as quick as n Kodak snap or
stroke of electricity. His life was thrown
down i'm the thousandth part of second.
Think of the muZZle velocity OF q rifle
shot and then calculate, If you can, the
space betwixt the instant he pulled that
trigger attachment and his death. The
fellow had grit must say, plenty of it.
was crushed before he could bat an eye
shot into Jelly.
An. the brain. " continued the old prac-
ticioner enthusiastically. What a noble
organ, the seat of thought, intellect, life
itself.
Its very sensitive organ, as vou
know, and nature has thoughtfully en-
cased II in walls of hard bone. Suppose
people wore their brain on their sleeves,
as some people are popularly supposed to
do their hearts?
"My observation is" continued the
doctor, that male suicides generally use
firearms while women prefer to drug
themselves. This may be accounted for
by a woman's known antipathy to blood
and to vanity.
mo handsome woman, or ugly either
would care for her family or friends to
gaze on her dead features distorted and
swollen and blackened by gunpowder.
Not she. In all my practice | have never
known woman TO kill herself either by
shooting or by stabblng, and ! have been
called to view the poor remains Of several
unfortuuaters.
believe it was Sidney who wrote.
"Nanity posseseth many who are desiriOus
to know the certainty OF things to Gomez
"That is what meant to say in the be-
ginning, remarked the doctor, as he
reached for the bell pull and dismounted." "
The great majority of people, according
to Agent Minter Preston Key of the
Humane Society, know absolutely moth
ing about watering horses.
"a horse should never be given water
from bucket said the agent to q Critic
RECORD man this morning. "He can't
get his nose and half of his head down in
the water, and that's just what working
horse especially III warm weather, wants.
He doesn't care for the water so much,
but he likes to draw it up into his nostrils
and then blow it out again.
"An illustration of this was given me
when ! first became connected with the
society. They were then working on the
extension Of North Capitol street. and it
was summer. Scores OF teams were en-
gagged IN the work, and the dirt was cut so
fine that when ii once got into the air it
was not heavy enough to come down, but
Just floated there. Probably dozen
horses a day were becoming disabled. The
contractors were at their wits ends and
didn't know how to remedy the evil. The
horses were made to drink from buckets
half filled with water. ! saw that the
| trouble lay right there, and told the con-
tractors to put up a barrel, tap the water
main and give the horses chance to be
their own physicians. They followed my
advice. The horses would souse their
| eyes and hold their breath. Then they
would blow and the bubb would rise,
| muddy-looking bubbles. By this means
| they kept the tubes of the heads clean,
and from that day not single horse was
sent to the stables exhausted"
Smith Fry's dog Fidge can give many a
man lessons in courtesy and he did it the
| other evening in Fourteenth street car.
| Fidge can stay up with the best of them,
| but when he takes a notion IN his head to
| go home and his master doesn't agree
with him, he carries it out. And he
doesn't walk, either, for the distance mot
short and when Fidge starts home he is
rather tired. The other night Colonel
| Fry was tarrying with some of the boys
at the Press Club and Fidge became i'm
patient, but the Colonel wouldn't pay any
attention to the efforts of the dog to at
tract his notice. Then Fidge left his
master and stalked down the stairs to
| Fourteenth street, where he caught car
on the move. There was but one seat
vacant and Fidge leaped nimbly into that
and sat observing with attentive eyes the
ladies on the opposite side of the car. The
conductor came along to collect the fare:
and Fidge glanced up at him from the
corner of his eye with an expression thai
seemed to say;
"Say, young fellow, I'm Smith Fry
dog, and I'm privileged person on thi:
line, see?
The conductor passed on and Fidgt
again turned his attention to the passen
gers on the other side. The car stoppeC
and a lady got on. There were two o.
three men comfortably seated, but they
didn't see the lady. Fidge is gentleman
however, and he did In an instant HI
was out of his corner, his tail wagging
The lady didn't see him at first but sh
heard his quick sharp bark, and thel
saw the vacant seat. She took it and al
most paralyzed the men in the car b!
saying: Thank you.h
Then Fidge walked out on the platform
and stood with the driver.
He came to the door on tiptoe and
thrusting his head IN in a suggestive sor
of way as if there was more to follow, in
quired-
"Is this the rinktum?'
"How's thatP
is this the rinktum-sinktum- sank
tum, or some such place, where the editc
lives, moves, and does his lyngP
"Yes, sir; this is the editorial room
Come in"
mo; guess won't. jes' wanted
see what a rinktum was like, that's al
Great Jehosephat amt it dirty and don
ii loom up with old papers And this
the rinktum Well, good day"
And he departed the rinktum.