Morning journal and courier., 1891-09-15
TIM E!

The inventor of the Waterbury watch has gone to eternity, the only place where there is time to wind Waterbury watch. Buffalo Express.
 Fightson-See that man in the elegant carriage7 When he came to this town ten years ago he couldn't write his own name. Runaway-And now? Served two terms, by George, sir, for forgery"-Chicago Tribune.
 Wooden-I tell you the Daily Keyhole is an enterprising paper. Bullfnch-What's it done now9 Wooden-Why, it's got seventeen photographs to-day of people who used to know neighbors of Almy's grandmother. er.-Boston Courier.
 Mrs. Bunney-I really cannot under stand how it is that Gayleigh and his wife do not get along we'll together. Everybody, you know, always said that they were doesn't signify. My coat was made for me, but it doesn't fit me worth cent.-Boston Transcript.
 Illustrated Journalism.-Editor of the Plankville Bugle-That slug of boiler plate with Peffer's picture is here yet, ain't ita Foreman-Yes. Editor-Just cut the whiskers down to reasonable length and run it as the kaiser since he grew beard. It'll be the scoop of the eseason.-Indianap- oils Journal.
 He Had to Stay.-He spoke to a sad looking man at the door as he went out. "Did you dine in that restaurant, tooa'' "Yes, I've been dining here six years. " "How in the name of appetite do you stand it2 Why don't you go elsewhereF' "I can't very we'll. You see I'm the pro- prietor Philadelphia Times.
 When marry shall try to be sure of one thing, and that is that have woman of sense."
 "You mean a woman of prudence and forethought, with fine perceptions and a knowledge of human nature?"
 "Yes, that's it exactly"
 "But they are the ones who never mar ry.p-Life.
 Mrs. Bilkins-I never saw such a forget ful man in my life as you are. The clock has stopped again.
 MT. Bilkins-That is because you forget to wind it.
 Mrs. Bilkins-Huhl You know very well, Mir. Bilkins, that told you to remind me to wind it, and you forgot about it, New York Weekly. Dr. Fowler having had occasion to treat the family of Sam Johnsing for malaria, remonstrated with Sam for having the pig pen SO near his residence.
 "What's de reason I ought ter put dc pig pen furder away frum de house" asked | Sam.
 "Because it is unhealthy" replied tht | doctor.
 "Reckon you is mistaken" replied Sam | "dat pen has been dar foi two yeahs, and | dar ain't been no sickness yet among d. hogs" ."-Texas Siftings. | Business Manager-You are an applican | for the position of assistant cashier. Art you married?
 | Applicant-No, I am single man.
 Business Manager-That's awkward. Yol see the boss told me not to hire any un married man as cashier.
 Applcant-Then to get the place ry got to marry.
 of it. You have got to marry some girl a once. Come around and take dinner witl me and my daughter. think this thinl can be arranged.-Texas Siftings.
 He walked in and put down dollar, silver dollar, that clanked like a carriag wheel in the stiffness of the sanctum Said he, ''There, there, take it and credi my subscription quick" "What's tn week was fishing out on Spring Greek; thunder storm came up, and it rained ant thundered and lightning flashed all aroun' me. crawled into hollow log to escap it. The rain made the log swell up till was fastened in and nearly squeezed t death. Hogan to think of ali my sin and to repent. Suddenly I remembere that my subscription to the Globe was nc settled up, and felt so small about it tha was able to back right out of the log 6 once. e."-Bainbridge Globe.