The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-28
BRIGHT BITS.

BARKER calling on friend)-Mercyi What's
that frightfhl shouting up stairsf
Servant-That's Mr.. Barker. sir.
Carker-Why, / thought he had lost his
servant---He had, sir; but he has just received
The Doctors bill-Ppck.
'ScADDLEBERRY my wife insisted on my com
ing over hare and letting You know that your
mastin killed her pug this morning, and she
wants to know what you intend to do about
well, III bury the pug"
There! told her you'd do the right thing
Come out and have drink. "-New York Her
aid.
DON'T you think you would make more
money and enjoy better health in dting house
works"
Yes, rather think would" answered the
"salsslady." r.
Aud yet your false pride"
10 pride is nothing to do with it. don't
want to be bossed by another woman that 8
all Ind dnapotis Journal.
COMING EAsT-Rev Dr. Fourthly-Im afraid,
my dear sister. that your little NtE- w lillian has
acquired a taste for pernicious literature
saw him rea ling very suspicious looking pam
phlet this morning.
Mrs. Economies; that was Chicago Pete,
the Kiduaped KID yesterday he read Utah
Jack, or the Mormon's Bride" and the day be-
fore. "Yallerskin. the Chinatown FieBd." I'm
bringing him east by de rees, you see; I'll have
him safely landed in Boston in less than a
week.-6rooklyB Life.
"BE you Dr. SMITH" asked q tall, lean speci-
men, walking into the office Of the fashionable
practitioner.
lam" replied the doctor.
We'll, look-a-here. old Teller" remarked the
visitor, I'm glad to find you at last. Dye re-
member in So when you was In Kansas, how
yer set feller's arm an didn't charge for ity''
Yes, =" said the Doctor with prospect OF a
big fee rising before hin.
I'm that Teller an I've broke the other arm
AL 81.
-HGrpers BdzGr.
FRoM Carlyle Smiths "Cyclop@dia of Anec-
dotesN in Puch.
DR.. Johnson's Tribute to Reynolds John.
sons ready wit has become proverbial Good
morning. Oliver" quoth he to Go dsrnith one
morning, meeting The modest author on the
| Strand. whittier away2"
ITO Sir Joshua s." replied Goldsmith.
And wherefore, o modest Nolll do you seek
Sir Joshua" queried Samuel
ITO have my portrait painted"
Just my luck?' retorted johnson, like q
flash. I've lost my bet."
Have you a betf" said Goldsmith, with q
show of interest.
Yes. Ibet Garrick FIVE bob you would not
be immortal; but, by the gods, if Reynolds
paints you I've lost" Goldsmith smiled weakly
Garrick's Estimate.-Garrick, upon being
asked whether or not he thought Hamlet crazy
replied that he really did not know, but jud Sed
he might be If he ever saw himself played by
| Barry.
The value of this witticism is somewhat de
stroyed by the suspicion of Its having been in
| spired by professional jealousy
Dumas and None Cristo. Dumas" said
| Balzac, IF you were writing Monte Cristo
over again, would you do it again as you did i,
| first ?"
Not exactly: In the main it would have
| been the same"
TN what respect would you have altered it -
In no respsct-I should have augmented It. IS
And hewS"
by sending the count to the United States
| Senate for term. He was rich enough, HEAVIER
| knows"
| 1t was this Jest that enabled Balzsc to realize
why Dumas was considered worthy to associate
| with the immortals.