St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-11
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

Bob Ingersoll howlS eloquenty for religious
liberty, but in the next breath denies 10
Americans the right to buy goods in the
cheapest market and sell their products
where they can get the best price.
-
The Professor-And how do you fee /, Miss
New York;
Miss New York-Serum.
The Professor-And you. Miss Chicago:
Miss Chicago-Swagger.
The Professor-And you, Miss Boston
esque?
Miss Bostonesque-Pla commemorative
the comparative comfort incident to the dur
nal and nocturnal existence of the protoplasm
of animal life.
In casting about for a good, fat kangaroo
ticket, what's the mater with Harrison and
Mckinley?
''noss'' cars-actual, vulgar bobtail 'shoss''
cars-are still dragging their slow length along
i'll the streets of New York. II the average
New Yorker wants to renew his youth, let
him come West, sniff the fragrance of our
ozone and get move OH himself by indulg
ing in the eXhilaration of q ride on the ST.
Panl and Minneapolis electric system of
street railways. He will find it the ne plus
ultra of urban and interurban transit.
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1t does but little good to appoint a receiver
for broken bank after the officials have
skipped for Canada. The depositors should
appoint a retriever.
Alas for the bubble fame! 1t is the mem
ory of The once jovial Fat Con tributer," A.
Miner Griswold. that now suffers from care
less oblivion. For a longer period than is
allowed the average American humorist,
Mr.. Griswold amused the fun-loving portion
of the public with his witticisms. His last
work was done on Texas Siftings with which
paper he was editorially and finan ciaily con-
nected. Recent business troubles of that
popular publication bring forward the name
OF the Fat Contributor, according to the AS
ISOLATED Press dispatches as "a minor Girls
void; and tie Associated Press is old enough
to know better.
The New York Press (HarrsoniaR organ).
says: There will be no difficulty in shaping
national issues next year. True; the SUI
perb triumph OF Democracy has made pretty
plain sailing f or the future.
-
New York lady triumphantly announces
that she has lived exclusively on apples for
three weeks And yet one little apple eff
fected a radical change in the career Of
Mother Eve.
The Kelley motor Will not mote;
The Kelley cure-all will not cure;
There ought to be some antidote
For Keeleyism-mild but sure.
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Ii John Sherman allows himself to be
nipped in the senatorial bud by Fire Alarm
Foraker, the grizzled old political veteran
ought to be taken out and kicked all over
Foraker lot.
A Peoria man is said to have invented an
''odorless whisky as an auxiliary to smoke
less powder.
The Rock Rapids Qo.) Review comes out
in twelye-page paper printed in red and
blue ink with each page carrying a Iife-size
carmine rooster. 1t is the most successful
newspaporial celebration of the great
Democratic victory that has come under our
notice. In spite of John Sherman's croakit
is evident that the Review does not believe
that Gov. Boies is a Republican.
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Just as we are entering upon that promised
new era o. bountiful reciprocity with South
America. word is received from that coun-
try anent the existence threre of ''cow tree"
that gives good milk. American dairymen
will please take due notice, ana continue to
vote the Democratic ticket. If there is one
policy upon which all parties should agree,
it is a sturdy opposition to the admission
into this country Of the product of the COW
tree.
Regarding the Republican convention tur-
buleuce now beginning to assume definite
shape it may be confidently claimed that as
it is long, weary ride TO San Francisco the
people won't take it, This lets the City of
the Golden Gate out of the question alto
gether With Chicago the case is somewhat
different. The WEAKNESS begins there on
the morning after arrival, and continues
during the entire period Of ones visit. Omaha
cannot house the people, and Cincinnati will
never suit Ben Harrison. St Louis is in a
| Democratic state, and the environments
would be far from congenial 10 Republican
delegates. Against Minneapolis there can
! be urged no valid objection, and the logic of
events points strongly to her selection as the
the favored city.
! -
The face of the Goddess of Liberty on the
new subsidiary coins resembles that of a
rather mature school girl upon being in
formed that there was no more pie.
Poor old laundering Jerry Rusk gives away
the whole tariff snap. Will the Republican
leaders proceed to keel-haul him:
Miss Uptosnuf-Mother, had two offers
of marriage last evening.
Mother-Favoraple ones?
Miss Uptosnuff - Passably One of the
gentlemen is worth $3.50. 600: the other, S150,
| go.
Mother-Which, if either, do you intend to
| accept?
Miss Uptosnuff- Mother, you will please
remember that l am an American girl. /
shall, of course, accept the one with the $3.50
surplus.
A Chicago paper gleefully calls attention
to the fact that a blind man sixty years OF
age was sandbagged and robbed in New
York. When it comes to a comparison OF
downright viciousnessness between New
York and Chicago thugs it is what the Pho
neer Press would call "a draw
1t has been again necessary to suppress the
red flag in Chicago. 1t is quite certain that
Chicago is headquarters tor anarchy, if not
for national conventions.
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"Whiskers" PETER is all right Amid the
wreck of matter and crash of the Peoples
party he can point with pride to his pros
pective six years job in the United States
| senate.
An observer remarks: Not an animal in
the New York parks that does not eat pea
nuts. OF course this sweeping observation
includes George Francis Train.
!
The Chicago Inter Ocean editorially re-
marks: Lies run where truth can only tod
die" This partially accounts for the election
of Bill Mckinley in Ohio.
TWIN CITIES CLEARINGS.
Some time ago exPublic Examiner Henry
NJ. Knox suggested that the bank ciearings