The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-23


genteel hOme-thrust, Mr.. SLISKERs has
few ekals.
Twas fxin' myself mp to attend the
great war meean'. when my daughter
entered with q young man who was evil
jertly from tbs city, and who wore long
hair. and haa o wild expression into hif
eye. In one hano ne carried o port
folio, and In his other paw elaspt .
bunch Of small brushes. Ny daughter
introduced him a. Mr.. SwErBrER, ths
distinguished landscape painter from
Philadelphy.
He IL q artist, papa. Here IL one Of
his master pieces-a young mother gar
In admirin1y upon her first born" and
my daughter showed me q really pretty
picter done in lie. els Il not beautiful,
papa; He throws % much soul into his
work"
Docs hes does he7' said I-"well, I
reckon I'd better hire him 10 whitewash
oar fence. Il needs IL. What will you
charge, sir, ] continued, ito throw some
soul into my fenceT
Ny daughter went out Of the room In
very short meeter, takin' the artist with
her, and from the emphatical manner in
which the door slam'd I concluded she
was sumnat disgusted at my remarks.
She closed the door, may say. in italics.
l went into the closet and larfed all alone
by myself for over half an hour. Ilarfed
10 yi'leutly that the preserve jars ratified
like q cavalry offisser's sword and things,
which IL aroused my Betsy, who came
and opened the door pretty student. She
seized me by the few lonely hairs that
still hnger sadly upln my bare-footed
he'd, and dragged the out Of the closet,
incidentally Observing that she didn't
exactly see why she should be compelled,
at her advanced stage Of life, 10 open q
ASYLUM for sOoperanooated idiots.
Ny wife IL one Of the best wimin on
this continent, AlthO' she isn't always
gentle ~ lamb, with mint sauce. No,
not always
But TO return 10 the war meetin'. 10 |
was largely attended. The Editor Of the |
BtigIe arOse and got up and said the fact |
could no longer be disguised that we
were involved in q war. Human gore,
said he, sis howin'. All bodied men |
nuotuu n-1LC - L1uthCE anu W lie II
tented field. ! repeat It, SIR, to the
tented field"
A voice-"Why don't yOu 90 yourself,
yOu old blow hardy"
81 am identified, young man, with Q
Arkymedian leaver which moves the
world" said the Editor, wiping his au-
burn brow with his left coat tail: 81 al.
lude. young man, 10 the press. Terms,
two dollars year, invariably in advance.
Job printing executed with neatness and
dispatchT- And with this brilliant bust
Of elekance the Editor introduced Mr.. J.
Brutus Hinlins, who IL sutferin from an
attack Of College in naberin' place. Mr..
Hinkins said Washington was not safe.
Who can save our national capeetles
DAN SErCHKLL," said. He can do
Il afternoons. Let him plant his light
and airy form onto the Long Bridge,
make faces ut the hirelin foe, and they'll
all skedaddlel Old SErCH can do 1t.
Il call the Napoleon Of Showmen,-
said the Editor Of the BHgle,-"I call
that Napoleonic man, whose life IL
adorned with % many noble virtues.
and whose giant mind lights up this
wariike scene-I call him to order"
win remark. In this connection.
that the Editor Of the BHgle does my job
printing.
You said Mr.. HiDkins, "who live
away from the busy hsunts Of men do
not comprehend the magnitood Of the
crisis. The busy haunts Of men IL where
people comprehend this crisis. We who
live in the busy haunts Of man, that Il
30 say, we dwell, As IL were, in the busy
hHunts Of men"
81 really trust that the gent1'man viii
not fail 10 say suthin' about the busy
hauuts Of men before he sits down."
said I.
Il claim the right to express my senti-
ments here" said Mr.. Hinkins, In q
slightly indignant tone, and I shall
brook no interruption, II I am . Soft
more"
"You couldn't be more sorf, my young
friend, Iobserved. whereupOn there WA
cries Of "4Orderi orierg'
81 regret I can't mingle in this strife
personally" said the young man.
"YOu might inlist a. . liberty pole,HI
sa1u IN 8ivery Whisper.
But he added, 81 have Q voice, and
that voice IL for war The young man
then closed his speech with some strikin
and original remarks In relation 10 the
banner. He was followed
BY the village minister, . very worthy
man indeed, but whose sermons have o
tendency 10 make people sleep pretty In
dustriously.
II am willin' 10 inlist for one, = he said.
Whats your weight, parsOuY' u
asked.
"a hundred and sixty pounds, - he said.
"weIl. you can inlist Is hundred and
axty pounds Of morphine. your do0ty
bein' 10 stand In the hospitals after q bat
tle, and preach while the surgical opera
ions Il bein' perform.di Think how
much you'd save the Comment In NOR
lhine."
BE didn't seem 10 ses Il; but he made ,
good speech, and the editor Of the Bsois {
Ose b read the resolutions, O. foIlers:
Resolved, That we view with AMNESTY
he tsct that there h now . war guin' On,
md i.
Resolved, That we believe Stouewall
Jackson sympathises with the secession
and that We hope the nine
months men-
Al this point he wasintsrrupted By ths
Ounds q silvery footsteps On the stsirs,
nd party Of wisnin, canyin' guns and
I'd BY BKHY JAM, who brsndishid q |.
Oud and rattlin' umhrellsr, burst into
he room
Here, "cried I. ssare sona ufne-munfhs 4 ,
Fiminfs
'sfrS ward, |" said the editor Of ths
WARD aad laaies, what
aeanB this exkiordnry dsmonskrafionF
1T msans. sid that rsn,afznh1s fs-t