The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1891-06-13
THE LAWYER.


THE LAWYER.
A Bar Dinner Poem.
Let dogs delight to bark and bite and doctors dis
agree;
1t we're not well that all mankind should dwell
in unity.
II with conSummate peaceiuness the Christian
world were bleSt,
| Some occupations would be gone, and ours
among the rest,
But. brethren of the legal faith how pleasant it's
to
| A company of men OF law sit down in harmony.
To see the members of the Bar in social union
dine
| And Join in song and chorus strong across the
nuts and wine!
No uuarrels have we OF own-we manage |
| Others brois,
And though we fight with all our might, we've
buttons our ioils;
We scratch brother lawyers eyes until they're
out, and then
We go TO dine with him that night and scratch
them in again.
There is a popular idea that when we get our
grip
| Upon a client with case hate to let it slip;
That Bench and Bar alike conspire to keep man
kind apart,
That justice means pound of flesh cut nearest
| to the heart.
Yet, spite of many mouldy jest and Anticipated
| saw,
Which common carries are wont to hurl at law
yers and the law,
| It's obvious to those who sean humanity Alright
\ That, though have ferocious looks, we all de-
test to fight;
| That, but for lawyers and the law-but Tor the
| legal mind
| There never would be peace earth for quarrel
| some mankind.
The human race, from parsons down, would al
| ways fighting be
Ii counsel loved not compromise far better than a
What is lawyer? He who spends his time from
day to day
In listening to the woes OF those whom others
| will not pay;
In tteng up for heirs unborn the merchants
golden sheayes;
| In saving gentlemen from Jail and Juggling COM
| mon thieves;
In drawing leases, deeds and wills, and hearken-
| ing to the moan
| OF legatees whose friends had thought that they
could draw their own;
In telling folk who break their legs upon win
ter's day,
| There must be bubbles on the ice to make the
city pay
| In setting forth to grasping minds that Fix
lures" don't include
| broad, infexble permit to seek the neighbor
| hood
To pull the mantelpieces down for which they've
CHANGED to pay,
Detach the plumbing from the floor and carry 1t
away.
What is lawyer? He who leaves his bed at
early morn
To stop in transtu OF cotton or of corn:
To libel argoses to sail upon the turn of tide;
To ask the Court to free the unaduterated BRIDE
To calm injunction's awful aid to interdict the
sale
OF patent soap, protected pills or copyrighted
ale;
To salve in general the blows of circumstance
and fate,
Which fail rich and poor alike the paltry and
the great.
You all remember King Canute, and how he
stood one day
Amid his courters on the beach and bid the bill
lows stay;
| 'Stand STILL proud waves ; this is my realm you
shall no further blow
! The waves kept ripping up the beach, and Can
ute had to go.
SO onward moves the march OF law, in spite of
solemn Speech
| Proud men erect his monuments upon the sandy
| beach,
| He marks the limits OF the law and where the
law shalt stay.
| The tide creeps slowly on and sweeps his monu-
| ments away.
| Where the minions OF the law who fourished
| long ago?
| We miss the once familiar name of excellent
John Doe;
And where are all the men of straw, that ghostly
company?
And where J. s.. who went to Rome upon the
| slightest plea?
| He dislked to 20 to Dover but he had taste for
| Rome
Though he was lord of Sale and Dale when he
| remained at home.
All, all are gone, and with them gone the glores
OF that day
When advocates were acrobats who iuggled for
| delay,
When pleadngs artfulIy confused the question
| being tried,
And justice seldom could prevail until the plain
| tiff died.
Gone are the ictions of the past, but deathless
| ever stand
| Their names who made the common law the bull
wark of our land;
| The fame of Mansfield and OF Cairus has never
brighter shone,
And Coke burns lustrous in the light he shed on
| Litteton,
Oh, long may learned counsel quote, and never
| quote in vain,
The principles which Holt, c. j., set forth in
language plain,
When Coggs's brands, bursting bonds, ran riot to
the breeze
And gave his lordshIp an excuse to classify
Still lists the student to the tale how Shepherd
| once let fly
| That famous squib whose devious course scorched
Scott the plaintiffs eye,
| Wherefrom the moral is deducted in many a
| learned note
| That he who sets a ffrework off should see that
he's remote.
What though the roots OF common law IN English
soil are laid,
| Our younger race point with pride to names
which Will not fade;
| Shall Story, Curtis, Kent or Shaw the palm to
| Brittons yield?
| VIII not our sons and grandsons talk OF Lowell
| and of Field?
Death claims his own yet Death but gilds with
| more conspicuous grace
The worth of him who late adorned our first and
| highest place
| OF him his colleague who obeyed the heavenly
| bugle call,
Pre-eminent in many paths and noble in them
all.
| to-day
| Wears no wig on his head to hide the crown that's
bald or gray,
| No gown of richly flowing silk encompasses his
| frame,
He has no letters fastened to the rear end of mis-
| name;
And yet Qf you'll excuse the slang) he gets there
| Just the same.
He is plain and proper man, the lawyer OF to-
| day.
Who tries to reach the point at bar as quickly as
he may;
| He fights with fundamental facts, he matches
link with link,
Nor dares to trust to the belief that uries do not
| think;
He knows they will no longer gulp the glibly
uttered lie
Because he hammers with his fist lightens
| with his eye;
| The teary, tremulous harangue evokes the know
| ing smile,
| Enr Iav tba