Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
we should not have enough to live on ;

That, said Mr. Wyatt; 81 am fairly we'll
off. I should BIO prepared to give you
share in my business-it's very good
busincss-and Pm very fond of my
daughter, Laura, and she is my only
CHILD, you know. Don't be alarmed"
said Mr.. Wyatt; 81 shouldn't want your
money. 1 should only want your assist
anco in developing my business. I
could give you salary, if you liked
say couple of thousand Il year; or, as 1
said before, you could have share in
the business" a
''But am not business man." re-
monstrated; ''bcsides, know nothing
whatever OF the nature of the business"
l added, for was altogether puzzled.
"You will not betray my confdcncc2"
said Mr.. Wyatt with an mir of mystery;
"of course you won't. We'll. I'm bcne-
factor of the human race. Did you ever
hear Of Bumstcad's Infalliblc Tincturc?
| married Bumstead's widow. Laura is
my daughter by Il second marriagc-this
will give you all the necessary particu-
lars" he said, rs he thrust n little pam
phlet into my hands. "I'll come back
for your answer in a few minutes" Then
he left me, and the room began to turn
round and round.
OF course had heard of Bumstcad's
Inlalliblc Tincture-who HASN'T Who
has not read he we'll. known advertise
mcnt beginning:
Have you got cold in the head? Try "Bum-
stend.n
Do you suffer from Indigestion: Try "Bum-
stead"
Is old age creeping upon you? Try "Bum-
And SO on for whole column. Had
not been continually irritatcd by my
patients at the hospital telling me that
; they had tried "Bumstcad" before they
tried mel Was not "Bumstead" fami-
liar i'll their mouths rs household word2
And my Laura's father had married tho
widow OF aquack-hc was quack him
| self. And suffered agoncs as | remcm-
bcred that Laura was quack's daughter.
The idea was horrible one
l read the little book There were
hundreds of testimonials, according to
which "Bumstcad's Tincturc" was infal-
liblc; the testimonials were from all sorts
and conditions of men. They were evil
IDENTIFY perfectly genuine, for they at
tached their names and addresses Per-
haps the mysterious Bumstcad had dis
covered the Elixir Vitie. Then 1 read
on till came to the description of the
remedy itself; it was SAID to be 'prc-
pared from certain medicinal plants
found only in Central Arabia, Beloochis-
tan, and the mountainous region of the
northwestern frontier of Grim Tdrtary."
| Oh fhnra could ha "a
of course, it was swindlc. If it were
only genuine, l felt TINT 1 would not
hesitate for Il single instant. At TINT
moment the door opened, and Bumstcad
i mean Mr.. Wyatt--entcred.
''Well, my young FRIEND" he said,
with good humorcd smile, "what is
your determination"
"AIr. WYATT" 1 said, and I assumed
my very best professional manner, .'if
could only believe in the genuineness of
these testimonials; if could only think
that the Infallible Tincturc does all that
it is said to do; if I could honestly be-
licvc in it, would cast principle and
pride and prejudice to the winds and in
stantly jump mt your most liberal offer.
"Iou don't mean to say that you doubt
the gcnuncncss of the testimonials"
cried Mr.. Wyatt, in evident Indignation.
Then he read Lord Anticipates tcstl-
monial very slowly and very softly. "Dr.
Sprigge," nc said ut its conclusion,
Lord Addlepatc is peer of the reaim
ono of our hereditary legislators.
Would you presume to doubt the word
of an hereditary LEGISLATOR Call on his
lordship; you are physician; you can
form your own opinion. The whole of
those testimonials, sir, are absolutely
genuine" crieh Mr.. Wyatt, and he
thumped the table with his fist. al be-
lievc in Bumstead, sir, and I've never
had days illness in my life." l did
not think much of that argument.
"Look here" said Mr.. Wyatt; 'I'n
make you a present of gross of it. Take
, it to St. Skinnint's and try it on your
patients The horrible suggestion caused
me to shudder in spite of myself.
'Do you care so little for my daush-
ter, DR.. Sprigge," said Bumstcad--I
mean Mr.. Wyatt--very solemnly, "that
you actually decline to investigate the
mattcrl Didn't the whole world believe
the earth to be fiat till it was proved to
be round' Wasn't Columbus looked
upon MS fool and an imposter' Let me
tell you, sir, the day is coming when all
the world will revere the name of Bum
! stead"
When looked round upon the evil
dent signs OF wealth, when looked into
that old mans face, and l remembered
that he was Laura's father, could not
doubt the honesty of his convictions. l
seized his. hand; there were tears in nv
eyes us l bid him an affectionatc. fare
we'll
IL will investigate it, sirl'' cried;
sand Twill communicate the result. to
you in fortnight.
| Then we shook hands.
y ~
went into the nearest chemists. i
asked for bottle of Bumstead's Infall-
IDLE Tincture. e
"ltsa very valuable remedy, SIR" said
the chemist; "most of our customers find
it n perfect panacea. =