Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-05-28
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out-shute, out-holler and out-lick any
thin on top of this yere airth's surface
and I'll bet our farm agin drink OF
Nashville whisky on it, "
81 sees dad was purity chucky, and
seq to him, seq /:
" Dad, you's top Of the heap around
yere, and nobody kin deny, but doan
you go and meet up with no fight il
town. Yves arter mewl, we is, and We
doan' want no fusSin' nor nuthin'.'"
And with that dad jumps fO' feet
high and cracks his heels together and
whoops out that he's b'ar-trapS, pizen,
powder and catamount, all billed down
into one, and that he's dangerous il
anybody goes to pick up his hind foot. y
"Yaas, and l hears him boiler when
he's a mile away" said one Of the
crowd.
''Of co'so you did," replied Reuben,
'of co'Se. Dad was powerful on the
holler. He'd holleI bar out'n tree
half mile away. When we got down
we're thar was Teller from Memphis
with Il patent liftin' masheen a-standin'
right here. Thar's the pieces OF it
agin the fence, while the Teller hisself
is ten miles away and still runnin'."
But 'twasn't his fault" protested a
man on mule-back.
81 amt sayin' as twas" placidly an
swered Reuben. I'm a-sayin' as dad
got mixed up and made fule of hisself.
No sooner had he sot eyes on the ma
sheen than be cracks his heels together
nd m
seq he:
{" 'Reube, l kin pull the hull burned
State of Tennessee right out by the
roots if kin git brace fur my feet,
and I'm a-goin' to try it "
Il tried to shy him off by talkin'
mewl, but dad was powerful Sot in his
ways, and he crows some more and hol-
lerS:
whoopee! Lemme git hold
of them ere handles, and all yous who
don't want t. tip over when the airth
comes up had better hang to the fences!
Reub, stand back and gimme room.
"Yaas, l heard him say those re-
marks" put in one OF the crowd.
"So'd l." added hBlf a dozen others.
''Of co'se he said EN-" continued
Reuben-''of co'Se. Nobody's denyin'
that he said i'm. Dad jest fggered on
pullin' most of this yere airth up as
easy as you kin lift the top crust of a
pie. He spit on his hands, grabbed
them ere handles, and when be straight
ened up jest felt the ground trembling
all around"
sod L." called seven or eight voices
in chorus.
dad had one side Of the hull county
lifted up two foot high, when there was
a rip and smash-them handles tore
out, the masheen flew TO pieces and the
airth sunk back with a chugg, which
made us dizzy"
''Then your father had broken i
blood-veSsel or something of the sort"'
l queried
"Skercely, stranger-Skercely. Dad
want no man TO stop at one blood-yes-
sell. He jest busted hSself all to pieces,
and was a goner afore we could reach
him. might say he sort O. run togeth-
er and caked. He was six feet high
when he grabbed them handles, and
now you can't make him over four foot
ten as he lies in thar 'on a board. Jest
pulled his knees up and his shoulders
down, and reckon his lungs would hold
his galluSes up if thar was any buttons
on 'em The man who owned the ma
sheen wasn't too blame-of co'se he
wasn't-but when he seed the calamity
he started fur Knoxville on the jump,
and he was jumpin' when he turned the
co'ner of the hill up thar. Dads in
we're, stranger. Come and take a look.
Mighty good man, dad was, but a let
tie too coltish when he had about to-
drinks of applejack under his shirt bos-
UNI. Crowd back thar, boys, and make
room! Doan' act like you never dun
met up with calamitous spectacle
befo',"