The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-11
BRIGHT BITS.

DISCOURAGE the grumbler, but do not sit
down on the porcupine.-DaLlds Ners.
WEBB-Don't you think Puck is very funnyY
Callowby-Yes, but like Punch much better.
Webb-Well, you have rum tastes.
If the Vice President of the United States is
nothing more than f1gurebead, he should be
employed to take the census of the country
Aeto Orleans Picdyune.
HUSBAND during a spat,-You had better
shut your mouth; the fool killer is around,
Wife, don't care; you've got your life in
tured.-Men's OlItftteT.
SHE (piqued)- know exactly what to
make Of you, Mr.. Bland
He (eager to suggest)-Er-why not try hus-
band?-AmericGn Grocer.
900 for five years work on one case. The client
is not mentioned, probably because he is not in
it.-Memphis Commercial.
SOMEHOW a handsome diamond never looks
quite so desirable TO woman at any other time
as it does when she sees 1t in another woman's
ring.-SonleTUltLe Journal
VAST strides have been made in the improve
ment Of gowns, says the editor of a fashion
paper. They must have been made in the
bifurcated skirts.-Boston Herald.
STRICT honesty must rule to-day,
The public will no more be flouted
By willy rogues who used to say:
What are you going to do about it'"
-Ne1o York Press.
BROKE, broke broke!
As broke as man can be;
And the merry chink OF the dimes that are
spent
VIII never come back to me.
-BUfdlo Express.
WHY won't you take Flickeles as partnerY
my dear fellow, flckeleS was engaged to my
wife before married her. And would you have
me take for partner a man who is cleverer thar
l?'-FIfegcnde Batter.
Young AMERIcA-Papa, is mamma a Jewellers
Fond Father-No, my son. Why do you ask
Young America-'Cause when / took sisters
candy she gave me box with mora earrings
| than wanted.-Jetcelers' Weekly.
LECTURER-The successive campaigns of the
| Romans into Gaul FORM perhaps, the only rec
ord OF series of successful failures in his
Auditor Qnterrupting) What's the matter
| with the Delaware peach CROP Drdke's Mnoa
| zine.
meates the erstwhile balmy air, and causeth the
weary mind to moan in sadnesss Is it not ter
| RIDLEY
De Bones-Yes; it is simply offaL-Brooklyn
Eagle.
FRIEND-You must be making money now, il
| you have discarded the pipe and taken uI
cigars. Do you get three of those for a quarter.
Struggling Author-Let's see; three for q
quarter would be dozen year. Yes, that's
just about what get.-Detroit Free Press.
IF your appearance Is any indication.
| think / may be justified in assuming that you
are opposed to washing" vensured MIR. Hungry
Higgins hostess.
''Washin'," answered Mr.. Higgins after a
moment of mental abstraction, during which
| he absently tried to blow the foam off mis- cup
| of cold coffee, "washin', ma'am, is a mighty
good thing to support family on, but it seems
to sorter sour woman's temper. In fact that's
| how | come to go on the road "-IlldidnapoLi.
| Journal.
| STR RovrE RocHE the eroinent Gsh,lIis+ - hoe
| a descendant at Lake Luzerne. New York, il
| one may judge FROM his conversation. One of
| his patrons (the Individual is boatman) at the
| close of last season called for his account
Ere it is, sir" said the original "S12 and Il
| cents"
"Phew!" whistled the debtor, I'm have to
run up to the hotel and borrow the money tc
pay you"
''Oh, don't trouble to do that, sir" replied the
boatman, Il can lend you the money."-Har
| per'S Magazine.