davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
BRIGHT BITS.

HE-Will you marry me? l have bachelor
uncle who is worth 81 100000.
She-No, but you might introduce me to your
uncle.-Epoch.
THE MAN who never married never played
poker and never went fishing may be given
certain amount of credit for truthfulness
IOnkerS Statesman.
THE latest popular ballad is entitled "He
Never Came Back" This is probably que to the
fact that he did not have a round trip ticket
Louisville Commercial
ONE CLAIM.-Spatts-Do you think New York
city is entitled TO be called watering place?
Bloobump-Why not? Isn't Jay Gould's office
in the city?-Brooklyn Life.
''PA, how do you scalpY' said the Indian boy
to Oyster-that Laughs.
First catch yourhair," sententi ously replied
the noble red man. Boston Transcript
"BLYKINs knows all about horse races"
why, he never goes to them"
mo 1t took him longer to learn that part
than anything else. ~ Washington Star.
"JUsT see the trombone player His face is
red as a beet from blowing hard"
Yes, he certainly ought to know what is
meant by strains of music. "-Boston Herald.
AN UNREASONABLE QUEsTIoN.-Drug Clerk
g a. m. out of the window)-Well, what Is itp
Customer-How the deuce should know?
don't know how to read prescriptions. Puck.
WITH light guitar the serenader comes
And gazes sadly on, the while he thrums,
The window just above.
He signs because no smile illumes the place.
All, little does he dream
She keeps so still because her sunburnt face
Is plastered DER with cream.
-WaSlington Post
"PoP, what does commons mean?"
why food-rations. "
Then" said the smart youngster, with a
wink, isn't hotel the House OF CommonsS"
baltimore american.
You need q change, " the doctor said,
" And you ought to have more relaxation. ~
The patient smiled and shook his head,
Then gasped, as he turned DER in bed,
i've just returned from a months vacation. "
-NetO York Journal.
isn't it a wonderful lesson to man. the way a
canary Gagged for life sings and sings and sings
all the time ~
man were as vindictive as that, he'd be ex-
ecuted. "-Sn1ith-G Gray Monthly.
IN CHICAGo.--Mrs. O'Zone-Can't you get O
move on that horse, driverY I'm afraid I'll be
late for the wedding.
Driver iver mound, mum Even il we
miss the wedding Wen be sure to git there in
tonne for the divorce.-Iepds Siftinos.
TINE FOR ALL THINos.-Deacon Ebony-Now
that tn watermilllon crop is bout ovah, it
seems ter me, Mistah JEFF, it would be a good
time ter start revival.
Parson Jef-Not yit. Brudder Ebony, not yit
The spring chicken crop Is ies' begun. Good
Netrs.
Mr. CREsUs-Ethel, have you set your heart
on marrying Lord NoodIef
Ethel-Yes. papa, dear; you know the Lord
gave, etc.
Mr. Cresus-That may apply to you. Ethel:
but, regret to say, IL does not apply TO nv
hard earned money.-LUe.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
MEDICAL
HEALTH IS WEALTH /
aRA1N

DR. L c. VESTS NERVE AM BpIn, r.
AsEr. a guaranteed specific for Hysteria. III
ness, Commissions, Fits, Nervous NeursI15a
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the ~,
precision, Softening OF the Brain resuItin - g
sanity and Leading to misery, decay and daa, ~
Premature Old Age. BarrennesS, Loss Of PoVva.,
in either sex. Involuntary Losses and S,1erroas
orrhoee caused oy over exertion of the brain ~
abuse or over indulgence Each box contojus
one month treatment. SIo0 box. or six horal..
for s. 90 sent by mail prepaid on receirt ~ D.as
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES P9ce
To cure any oase. With each order received hv
US for six boxes, accompanied with IS on W
viii send the purchaser our written gnsranta,
to refund the money if the treatment does nan
eject 9 cure. Guarantees issued only bv THE
HEIDI DRUG Co, Sole Agents. Savannah fa IN
For Ghahng. Prickly Heat. use Boracine Totes
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Tybee Telephone Service Needed.
Why do not the business men who are
interested in having telephone communica-
ton with Tybee take some action with re-
gard TO the matter? They are complaining
of the serious Inconvenience from which
they suffer for want of such communion
ton, and yet they do nothing but complain.
They take no steps to remedy the inoon-
venience from which they suffer.
1t is not probable that the telephone COM
pany will do anything toward re-establish-
ing the Tybee telephone service unless
strongly urged to do so by the business men.
The line probably did not much more than
pay expenses when in existence, and hence
the company is not likely to make very
great effort TO re-establlsh it. But it would
re-establish it, doubtless, if it should receive
substantial encouragement
And this suggests the inquiry. why is it
that the business men on the Bay are SO
slow in taking some organized action with re-
gard to it? Do they expect that attention will
be paid to their complaints if they them
selves do not show a determination to have
what they 30 much need at this season of
the year?
The ship agents are particularly con
cerned about this telephone line. and cotton
and naval stores men are indirectly inter.
|. ested in it, and yet nothing is being done to
re-establish the line. There must be way to
get what is wanted, and if proper effort is
made it will be found in all probability.
Has the war department been asked to
permit the tower on 1ybee Island, formerly
used by the telephone company, to be again
occupied If not, why has not that course
been pursued, and if the tower cannot be
obtained, there are other buildings which,
no doubt, can be had Savannah is alto.
gether too great port to be without means
of communicating promptly with the mouth
OF her harbor, and that she hasn't such com.
munication shows woeful lack Of enter
prise on the part Of her business men.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Taking instantaneous pictures of young
women in bathing costumes for publica-
ton is regarded by the Washington Star
as "a form of journalistic sneak thieving
that is intolerable" And it also thinks
that "the word enterprise should not be al
lowed TO cover conduct that is coarse and
impertipent." But that is scarcely a fair view
of the case. Any costume in which a young
woman might appear that could properly
be considered so coarse and impairment"
as to be justly pronounced ''intolerable" for
the intangible delineation of a picture cer-
tainly could not be regarded as a suita BILE
costume for a public place.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
The Three Things Needed.


Gov. Tillman, of South Carolina, in his
speech at Columbia on Monday, the occasion
being Labor day celebration, said there
were three things needed In the state. The
first was more white men, the second more
intelligence, and the third capital. He
thought that If these needs were supplied
South Carolina would start on a new era OF
prosperity.
He does not think that capital is the great
est need. Capital would come if the con-
ditions that invite it existed, and they would
exist, in his opinion, if q
large portion of the blacks should
emigrate and their places should be taken
by whites The whites would open new
farms, build factories and establish school
houses and churches. The whole face Of
the state would soon be changed. The fear
of black domination would disappear and
the people would not only become more
thrifty and prosperous, but would work
together for the general good.
While more intelligence and capital are
needed they would follow quickly a large
increase in the white population. But even
in the present state of affairs they would
be extremely helpful. These ideas Of Gov
Tillman are in harmony with those which
have been frequently expressed by Senator
Butler.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
Registered at the Postoffoe in savannos.


The NoRN1NG NEWS is published every day IN
the wear and is served TO subscribers IN the city
At % cents a week, 81 G0 month, - % for six
months and SO co for one year.
The MoRNIsG News, by mail, one month,
81 90: three months, 81 SO; six months, IS %;
The MoRS1Ne NEWS By mail six times week
without sunday issue,, three months, 81 ";
six months. g. o.. one yoar, g 20;
The MoRNISG NEws, ri-Weekly, Mondays,
wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays Thurs
DAYS and Saturdays, three months, 81 IS; six
months. 81 80: one year - W. .oo
The suSnAY NEws, By mod, one me. year; g 90
snhscriptions payable in advance Remit by
nosteI order. check or registered letter. Cur
rencv sent by mail at risk OF senders' .,.a
Letters aud kilograms should 90 Sodu e'seA
aMoRN1SG NEWS" Savannah, Ga .,-,.,
Transient advertisements, other tosn special
column. local or reading notices, anuse-
raents and cheap or want column III cehTs
line Fourteen lines OF agate tyPe-e5q atd 20 20
one inch space in depths the sSaeuhIu %
measurements Contract rates ana discounts
r.ade known on application at business ofhce.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
Not a Temporary Affair.

He was homeiy and tall and rawboned and
sunburnt. and his clothes didn't fit him, and
his hair had haysesd growing on it, and his
straw hat hung loose to the sport of the winds,
says the Detroit Free Press.
Re had only so cents IN money and looked
like a chronic stupid besides, but he applied for
a marriage license with as much confidence as
a dude going to marry girl with g.. 200, 900 in
her own right.
What in thunder sreyou going to get mar
ried forg" asked the astonished clerk, sizing
him up.
Fer life, mister" he replied with such
promptness and simplicity that the clerk
handed the license over In a minute and forgot
to collect the fee
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
Her summer Hat.

From the London Globe.
My love she hath a summer hat,
Ills like little boat,
A fairy shallop broad and fiat
That on her head doth float.
Upon the pillows of her hair
II resteth: tits so wide
That | must tell you of the fare
II carrieth outside
For first sits on the corner
Mid many a grassy tuft,
A swallow. like Jack Horner
(He's dead, of course, and stuffed,
Three fuoaias and an ivy push
"a cargo. you'll allow.
And something else, think thrush.
That carols Ia the bow.
A beetle and a butterfly,
In gold and silver trim,
Swarm up the blue oonvolvun
That dange on the brirn.
There's velvet lace-but should sing
A weekday. more than that,
Ere could tell you everything
Ny love hath on her hat.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Judging from the record CT bis recent
course down in Chile, coupled with his later
statement that he ia now friends with the
government" the Hon. Patsy Egan is one
of those statesmen who always closely
"staud in with" the powers that be regard
less of all other considerations. No doubt
but the Hon. Pat is now quite as ready to
hustle around for the new administration
(snd his own behoon a. he was with the old.
Spry and thrifty Patsy EganI
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

A STRANGE DISCOVERY has been made in
France at the Chateau Champlain. A grower
old decayed wall and obtained permission to
have 1t pulled down. In a sort of cavity he dis
covered two male skeletons with their necks
hands and feet riveted together with iron fet-
ters; some remnants Of clothes reduced to dust
were found on the ground where the skeletons
lay, as well as some rusty iron fragments.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Although Proprietor Childs lets down
Chief Editor Mexican gently. and with
much soothing praise Of his twenty-six
years of faithful service, he is manifestly
more or less actuated in retiring the veteran
manager of the Philadelphia Ledger on full
pay by the blunder the latter was drawn
into in the Bardsley affair after SO many
years of discreetly accurate judgment. Still
Mr.. Childs could not stand even a faint
upon any part Of his great paper. By this
means he also gave himself a job.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
oUR NEWBORN OFFICE.

+ MAI. FLYNN, Genera! Advertising Agent
of the Morning NEws, office % Park Row,
New York All advertising business outside OF
the states Of Georgia. Florida and South Caro-
lima viii be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Judging from the course of the recent
debate upon the Davis case at Butte, one
would be justified in the conjecture that
the volubly valiant Col. Bob IngersolI Is
exquisitely sensitive about his war record.
Calling opposing counsel liar for merely
picturing a hypothetical warrior of doubt
full valor was certainly unwarranted, II it
was not positively ridiculous. No man
who aspires to be considered great can
afford to make himself ridiculous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

THE BARMA1Ds of Berlin have started an
organ. the HerEbtHtt. 1t offers opportunities
for literary work and for the disclosure of cases
of i'll treatment. The subscribers form a ma
terial aid society to help needy members. to
secure places and to appeal to the courts if
necessary. Whoever is uncivil to the members
of the league will have his name published and
if he is a student a copy of the publication will
be sent to the authorities of his university.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

ANOTHER RELIC has been discovered in vir-
gina. A few days ago while a log two feet in
circumference was being cut in two near
Bloody Angle" in Spottsylvsnia county, tie
saw went through the butt end of twelve.
pound she'll which was mbedded in the log ut
Of sight II is supposed that the tree was about
nineteen inches in diameter at the time the
shell was fired in 1868, as these trees grow
about quarter of an inch a year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

According to the rural and political
views of Mustaohe Jones this is going to
be a very bad year in New York state for
Gratis who are not of the demo variety.
Among others he alludes to autocrats and
plutocrats very feelingly, and concludes
that those who are out of his recognized
and approved democratic column are mot
in it, 50 to speak
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
balancing the Books

From Ike st, Louis Post Dispatch CDsniO.
Several extra glasses Of beer were drunk in
Germany yesterday. IL was the anniversary of
Sedan. But wages are lower and bread il
dearer than they were before that victory
wrested Alsace and Lorraine from France. and
the cost OF keeping the acquired territory for
twenty-one years has greatly exceeded the cost
Of getting it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

! "How to vote" is the title of the most
popular very short story that is now seen In
the western newspapers. Everybody should
know how readily enough. 1t isn't hard.
AL you have to do is to deposit the ballot
and the ward worker" does the rest.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Manufacturing moisture does not appear
to work well in all ATTITUDES. Juggler Mel
bourne's machine worked very smoothly
and softly in Ohio. But it seems to have
tucked out in Wyoming and won't 90. So
the moisture hangs fire as it were.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

What a cold-water surprise to Ohio re-
pubicans must have been the recent ad-
dress of Mr.. Alfred E. Lee. an old-time re-
publican and consul to Frankfort-on-the-
Main, when in compliance with the request
of number of business men and repubh-
cans he addressed a large audience at
Columbus. In his speech he took strong
grounds against the high protective tariff
system, and denounced the Mckinley tariff
law as downright robbery. That may turn
the Ohio republican mind to thinking hard
as to how many more Of the party agree
with Consu! Les on the tariff.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

In Rome there is good deal OF talk to
the effect that Cardinal Gibbons will be the
next pope. He is regarded as very able
man, and there are reasons why the sue
cessor of the present pope should come from
neutral country-neutrsl SO far as italian
politics is concerned
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Politically Sir Hector Langevin is said to
be almost as dead as the canine Hector that
modern tradition has substituted for the
hero of ancient mythology. Corruption as
bold as his aud that of his associates could
not be countenanced even in Canada.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Straight republicanism handicapped with
a large incubus Of misfit tariff Is so much
of burden to lug through an Ohio cam
paign that Maj. Mckinley has a nervous
horror Of being steered up against anything
else. So he incontinently fed when the
party managers indicated a disposition to
bring him in contact with q sombre color
line at Cincinnati the other day. That was
altogether too much for a man pulling hard
up hill.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Despite the elaborate hopes and prognos-
ticasions of the political prophets and the
friends of Senator Joe Hawlsy, that astute
Nutmeg statesman denies that he wants to
be Secretary of War for a brief year or go.
Six years more in the Senate is good enough
for him he intimates. That's what he is
now after with both feet, a precedent and a
potent pull"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Candidate Billy Mckinley is said to be
busily engaged i'll frying fat" out of the
Ohio ''infant industries" that his policy of
protection is sometimes supposed to protect.
In that way he will eventually get the benz
eft of the extortionately high prices that
his piraticsI law filohes from the people
who vote for him, as well as those who
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Eastern Pennsylvania is now said to be
literally stopping over with apple cider.
Evidently the prosperous farmers of that
part Of the country are counting some"
on having a fair to middling good time this
ho..
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Illinois claims to have a dropsical pheno-
menon in the shape OF man from whom
physicians have drawn 1914 pounds of
water. Evidently he is not a native of
Kentucky.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
Rumor Rips UP the Ritual.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer, (Deni.)
A current paragraph states that the car of
Russia wears a full beard for fear that the bar
Der may be hired to cut his throat. This is
laughRble. The czars have always worn full
boards since the Greek church was established
Il is a tenet OF that bOdV
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Apparently the notorious Eva Mann can
do better at acting bad IN ordinary life than
she can at bad acting upon the stage. Blu
she bitterly complains of her management
and "backiDg." According to the lately
established revised ethics of theatrical life
it doesn't so much matter if the acting is
bad il the 'backing'' is good.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Women are not usually disposed to be
captivated with each other upon a short
acquaintance. They prefer to be formal
and distant until one says something caustic
about the other. Then they come together.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

After mature elaboration United States
Ambassador Patsy Egan has decided to
recognize the so-called iunta in Chile.
Forming a new general government may
now proceed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Apparently there is great deal Of pretty
well founded doubt as to whether the
alleged smokeless powder of European
inventors does not smoke just as much as
the antique explosive of unknown origin.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
Memories Make cen. Agnus Merrv.

Fro1l he baltimore Anertcdn tRep.).
Flanagan the immortal Flanagan, who asked,
what are we here fors" has at last found out
He is now collector of customs at FL Paso
Tex, and he doubtless has q roseate view of
the welfare of the nation. A man usually has
when he's in office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

Without stopping first to fight
Bold Balmacada ran away;
But didn't forget in all his fright
To scoop the Doodle, 81 as we say.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10
on COMMENT.
Passes and Pensions are Pleasant
FraCtice
From the CHICAGO Nail Ond.).

TgTt t1tV NIFtLlE4O
The New York Tribune points with pride"
to free sugar. This is quite pardonable II
free sugar is such a good thing, why not
have few other free things.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-10

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Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-10-18
MRS. THURMAN DEAD.
The Old Romans Helpmeet Passes
Away After
THREE DAYS UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
A Short Sketch Of Lady Who Was Widely Known
and Loved for Her BsnsVolsncs and UHivsr-
sal GOOduess-Kr. Thurman Is Very
Weak and Nay Never bs Better.

COLUMBUS, o., October 1.-THE condi-
ton of Mrs Thurman changed Ior the
Worse last night During most OF the past
week she had been in an unconscious state,
rsllving occasionally. For some time past
there has been but little hopes entertained
Of her recovery. She was the victim OF tne
grip during the winter and never recovered
from the attack.
Advanced age prevented her from re-
gaining her accustomed strength. MIS-.
Thurman was universally loved. a great
point in her character was ner reInarAaole
benevolence. She was continually caring
for the sick and needy and was always
found ready to contribute to worthy
cause She never identified herself with
anv church, but was church going woman
and ALWAYS engaged in charity work.
Mrs. Thurman was born in Chilllcothe
in 1911. and her maiden name was Mary
Dun. Her father, Walter Dun, was a
wealthy land owner and merchant at that
place While Mary was yet young LADY,
her father moved to Lexington, by. here
she married Mr.. Tompkins, 6ut ne dled
after few years, leaving one daughter.
She was married to Judge thurman III
November, 1914, and has been his almost
constant companion and helpmate since
during his long professional and public
career. Judge Thurman is much enfeeoleo
and broken down, and it is the opinion OF
those who know him best and understand
his condition, that he will not long survive
the death of his wife.
As soon as the news of the death became
known anumber of the old neighoors, call
ed to extend sympathy, among them beng
General Potter and wife, Col. James XII
bourne and wife and others. Several prl-
vate kilograms of coincidence and symRa-
thy were received by Judge Allen w.
Thurman later in the evening.