The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-10-01
EWIT AND HUMOR.

HGlG LAN WV nsh ~ 40 A''O-.'.
and young men are frequently getting
them mixed. - Galveston NetoS.
There are many men who are gener-
Gus to a fault. but it is generally to
their own fault.-BoSton Transcript.
1t is no breach of logic to conclude
that the man with rum blossom Is
blooming chump.- Washington Star
The enterprising bee kesn'
the times by hapi"~ nis - up WIN
arranged. =: - sweets.sYoakerf sc CIT .
TEACHER Jimmy. what is the chief
product of the Malay Peninsula?''
Jimmy" Malayria. "-Harper's Bazar.
When does Your vacation end?n
Next week. Then I'm going home
to have good rest. Cape Cod Item.
II you don't believe that time is
money, examine your pocketbook after
you have been doing ''little time"
i'nct.
This is regular skin game" re-
marked the banana peel to the sprawl
Ing pedestrian Bimghamt0n Repab-
llcdH.
What is the difference between
kleptomania and stealing?" 20. say,
from 800. 600 to LOO. 000."-N T.
HeTaid
Henry Is a great headworker," said
the fond mother. "He won several
prizes at college for sculling. "-IFaSh-
lHgtoH StaP,
Watts You live Ia boarding
house, don't you. BiIlings-"No. |
board in boarding house. "-Indtdn'
apoiis Journal,
III wait until YOU are at leisure, v
said caller TO the editor. Pm afraid
I'll be Of no use o you when I'm dead, y
replied the oditor,-Epoot.
She (coquettishly)-"My bathing
suit is nothing il not enhancing. don't
you Think" He (amiably)-I think
it is both. ~ T. Hcraid.
"In getting through a failure sue
cessfully," says old Mr.. Cumrox. -
good deal depends on mans lie.
abilities. y Washington STIR.
At Ocean Grove Beach the eyes of all
the potatoes in the place are bandaged
when the beautiful bathers come out or
the water CieCetdld LCddsr.
Il is not strange that very few men
know themselves Intimately. Most
people like TO get rid of disagreeable
acquaintances.- Ieras SytingS.
Il should think she would put on full
mourning for her brother, instead OF
half mourning. as she does" He was
only her half brother. Brook yV life.
He-'rhe trouble with Jack is that
his income is so large he can't spend
!. ALL" She-''Why doesn't he become
Harvard student, then?'-Lye's
CGtendar.
Ethel" What do you think of job
lots engagement to Miss searsP' Iapk
-''He might do worse" Ethei-"He
will-he is going to marry her. ~.
T. Herald,
Snively = as Mr. Scadds very
wealthy" Snodgrass-"Is he? Well,
| hear he is going to put American
tin on the roof OF his new house, -
Bro0kiyn Lye.
"Do you know how to cook?" he
asked. No. she replied. sweetly,
"but pa has money enough 10 hire "A
woman to do the cooking for u.s.
S0merriIe Journai.
Somebody has counted them up and
finds that there are 10 women lectur-
ers in this country. This doesn't in
cllsle the Caud.e lecturers, of course.
o, no,--BoSt UeraiQ.
"A tough fired ut policeman YES
terday with a heavy caIber revolver"
And what did the policeman do2 Did
ed the bullet. "-Puck.
Boothby Ham" Maine is a poor
show State, isn't it?" Thespis SuDe
No. Since the original package dc.
cision VIC have had nothing but full
houses there. ~. Y. Uerald
Mrs Homebody-'Se here! do YOU
call this good measured This can isn't
half full" Milkman-'Thats all
right, mum. It's condensed milk. YOU
know, mum."-BoSt0n Transcript.
Attorney (lo witness) You know
this man?' Witness-'Yes, sir"
Attorney What is his reputation for
truth aud veracity?n WitnesS-'Well,
he writes obituary verses. "-EpoeA.
Mrs. Braggs-"Lifc in your case
seems to be one long VACATION Weary
Watkins Quite right you are, ma'am.
lguess that's one reason why | am
alters SO tired. -IudidnaD0iiS J0urRat.
eff | were to commit suicide" said
Gus de JAY 10 his fathers physician,
what kind of verdict would the
Colwoner bring imp "Justifable
homicide" was the emphatic reply
Washington Star.
Il wish | were like champagne" he
sighed. All" she qucried. Yes"
he continued. lit sparkle s so" And
1t pops sometimes" she unused softly,
but ne was too stupid for any use. =
Detroit Free Press
Watts-"I don't approve of this idea
OF burying every eminent citizen with
a brass band" Potts-"It would not
be so bad. though. if they'd bury brass
band with each eminent citizen."-
indianapolis Joaraai
Miss Smilax-''I like to waltz with
You, MIR. Wooden; but why don't YOU
ever reverse?' Wooden Well. / !
nave leNefseS enough IN my business |
without bringing them into my pleas
urcS. "-BoStoH Courier.
ENasperated Fruit DEALER These
peaches have an unhealthy look. have
they? WHATS the matter with 'em. |
>lr?' Customer-'.The baskets Won
dress them in are too tightly laced, sir.
Chicago Tribune.
Reeder-''Ev read The Black
snake Ennpeck?" Ennpeck-
1t isn't proper book for decent peo-
pie TO read" Reeder-" How do YOU
know? 1ou said you hadn't read it,"
my wife has. Taakec
Blade.
Smith, was up at the town hall
last night. and | must say | never was
N company where there was so
much backbiting. gossip. and slander!''
Brown-"At the town hall? On, yeSi
1t the charity ball. Boston iran