The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-11-18
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

What's the matter, Jones 4? JOnes-I
have a dreadful headache. Smith (who
mistakes it for toOthache)HWh don't
you have it filled?
knowledge vs.. Conjecture: Mrs.
Goldbug-Blivens, did you tell the lady
| was out? BliYens-Yas, mum. Mrs.
Goldbug = Did she seem to doubt it /?
Bliyens-No, mum; she said she knew
you wasn't.
Had Seen the Like Before: Hostess
(to youthful guest, at the dinner table,
Bobby, can you cut the steak for your
self? Bobby Saving away industri-
'Ously)-You bet; I've cut up meat as
tough as this at home.
Knew His Employer: Ohio Manu-
facturer Ito one of his hands)-Pat,
you know that a vote for this free-trade
Campbell means q vote to re luce wages
from 81 TO $3.50 a day. Pat "a hard
ened demOcrat)-Falth, then you'll vote
for him.
A Christian SPIRIT: Deacon Ito his
youthful Offspring)-Johnny, surely you
are not gong fishing Sunday afternoon?
Johnny-Oh, no, paw; II only
thought ! would take the pole away
from the house so Tommy and Bobby
wouldn't be tempted
On Good Grounds: Hobson Jones
Yes, Miss Clara gave me every en-
couragement, but when asked her to
be my wife she unqualifedly refused.
Mrs. de Bullion-0n what grounds did
she refuse yoI? Hobson Jones-On
the lawn-tennls grounds in her fathers
own yard.
A Home-Like Sound: Bobbie "a
New Jersey boy, visiting relatives in
Maine)-Aunty, | thought you didn't
have mosquitoes here. Aunt Jane
We don't, dear. Bobbie-But | hear
them singing just as they do at home.
Aunt Jane That is planng null you
hear, Bobble.
A mother who was trying to teach
her fve-year-old Bette to add the
"thank you" to mo" and "yes," asked
her one morning at the table: "Bettie.
will you have an egg" "No," said
Bette. mo what? limited the
mother. 'No egg" returned Bette in
a tone Of decision.
"We'll call him William Mckinley"
said the proud Ohio father, when the
nurse showed him the chubby infant
which was just a half-hour old. But
the nurse laughed and whispered in his
ear. ''Then her mother can call her
anything she pleases," ,"he glowled. Pm
not particular about names, anyway"
Trust thyself. every heart vibratcs
to that iron string. Accept the place
the Divine Providence has found for
you, the society Of your contempora-
ries, the connection Of events. Great
men have always done so, and confded !
themselves, childlike, to the genius of
their age; betraying their perception |
that the Eternal was stirring at their
hearts, working through their hands,
predominating in all their being. And
we are now men, and must accept in |
the highest spirit the same transcend |
dent destiny; and not pinched in a cor
ner, not towards fleeing before a revo-
luton, but redeemers and benefactors,
pious aspirants to be noble clay plastic
under the almighty effort, let us ad-
vance and advance on chaos and the
dark.-EmerSoN.
"Do / have to buy beer in order to
enjoy the fresiom Of the lunch counter"
he timidly asked. "Certainly, YOU do" |
was the bartender's emphatic dlctum.
"And you designate it free lunch," he
SAID bitterly-".free lunch, and | have
10 buy beer Better 10 live under an !
effete European 1espotism," and he de-
parted with a scornful laugh.
A Few Wordsin Secret: Rev. Chas.
Poundtext Cat work on his sermon)-1
Maria, take the children and retire
from the room. Mrs. Poundtext (sur-
prised)-My dear, are we annoying you?
Mr.. Poundtext-Nay, not so but 1
have dipped the mucilage brush into
the ink-bOttle, and / wish b be alone
while making few remarks appropriate |
to the occasion.
/ say, Hang him the criminal and
welcome, if that is the best thing for |
society hate him, in a certain sense,
as you hate a rattlesnake, but, if you
pretend 10 be a philosopher, recognize |
the fact that what you hate in him is
chiefly misfortune, and that If you had |
been born with his villainous low fore
head and poisoned instincts, and bred |
among creatures Of the Races MdWdife, !
whose natural history has to be studied |
like that II beasts Of prey and vermin.
you would 81 have been sitting there
in your bowed spectacles and PISS |
ing judsl.Snt ON the peccadilloes Of
your fcllOw-creatures.. .....
1 do notjudge the wolf and the hyena,
| only kin them or shut them up. /
presume they stand just as well with |
their Maker as the lambs and kids, and
the existence of such beings Is a per-
petual plea for God Almighty's poor,
yelling, scalping Indians, his weasand-
stopping Thugs, his despised felons,
his numbering miscreants, and all the
unfortunates whom we, picked individ-