Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-10-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The love of show is sort of pomp-
adore.
A commanding presence The subpoena.
PUCK.
A day y-scholar-The pupil of the eye.
Puck.
Old age tells on one and so does youth.
Dallas Neaos.
Cupid is ex-officio member of every
archery club Washington Star.
The knife grinder ought not to be out
of work in dull times.
Strange as it seems, a collectors work is dun
While 1t is doing and when just begun.
Judge.
A cobbler would not be laying heavy
wager if he staked his awl.-Detrob Free
Press.
There should be naught but admiration
for an athletes big feat.-Detroit Free
Press.
A good man must stand on his dignity
when he has nothing else to stand on
Picayune.
z Women may not be deep thinkers, but
they are generally clothes Observers
Texas Sytings.
Making both ends meet-when the
head of the family foots the bills
Washington Star.
After people take spin it is quite
natural for them to feel like top
Pittsburg Dispatch.
If ignorance is bliss, the wonder is
why so many people complain of being
miserable. e.-Atchison Globe.
"This is very well put, " remarked the
editor as he dropped the poem into the
waste basket Washington Star.
Georgia has woman train dispatcher.
Every small boy knows of woman
switcntender. r. Washington Star.
The reason why fly is generally mon
arch absolute of a bald head is because
there is no heir apparent. Philadelphia
Times.
"Would you permit me to read you
my last poem, my dear young ladyF eff
1t is your last really, certainly. File
gende Blaetter.
sin getting through failure success
fully" says old Mr.. Cumrox, IA good
deal depends on mans disabilities. y
Washington Star.
The world owes us a living, yet no
man can collect the debt unless he pulls
off his coat and takes it from the worlds
hidc.-Teras Siftings.
"What do you sell pound of tobacco
forg" "Cash," Was the laconlc answer.
"How much for a pounda" "Sixteen
ounces" Philadelphia Times.
The only objection to the self-made
man is that in so many cases he has
failed to put himself together so as to
work nolselessly. WASHINGTON Post.
1t is about as easy for a beginner to
keep his seat astride bicycle as it is for
venturesome youth to ride the trick
donkey at circus. Detroit Free Press.
How doth the little buzzy bee
Improve each shining minute?
Go search the little hat and see
Ifhe's not buzzing in it.
Detroit Free Press.
At 6 A. NJ. Tommy (yawning)-s'A
river must have good time" Dick
"Why2" Tommy-''Becaus it doesn't
have to get out of its bed. "-LooeU Citi-
zen.
Brown-"I say, doctor, what will
happen to a man if he drinks about four
quarts of water in the mornings" Doc
tor-"Can't say, certainly. But l can
say what has happened to him. ."-Chi.
caqo Netos.
''If / were to commit suicide" said
Gus de Jay to his fathers physician,
.sWhat kind of verdict would the cor
woner bwing in2" 'Justifable homi-
eide" was the emphatic reply Wash
ington Eeeninq Star.
Merchant-''I missed you from the
store yesterday afternoon" Clerk
"Yes, was down to the Y. NJ. c. A.
rooms leading prayer meeting" Mer.
chant-"Is that so. How was the UNI
piringp-Binghamton Leader.
Papa-"See the spider, my boy, spin
ming his web. Is it not wonderfull Do
you reflect that, try as he may, no man
could spin that webb" johnny What
of it2 See me SPIN this top. Do you
reflect that, try as he may, no spider
could spin this top2"-New York Sun.