The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-02-21
A Young Orators First Meeting in
Beer Hall In
Montana.
Hasty Preparation Of Some Gems
Of Oratory Calculated to
Win Fame.
6wamped by Webster's Mariner Who Was
Taking His H~ssrlnes-To Accom-.
mOdste u sleeper.

Nsw Jersey with the genial and
handsome Tim Barrett; and /
nm emboldened by some experiences on the
stump in Montana to 40 far forget myself
as to follow the doctors illustrious exam
pie, and give some experiences with a ne
culiarly western fAvor-fors although / have
never run for congress, ! am not unfamiliar
with some Of the most amusing experiences
on the stump in the far west.
The 6rst time / ever addressed a Mon
tana audience the meeting was called for
eight O'Clock in tho evening in 4 largo boer
hall back Of 4 German saloon in Helena.
It was to be a meeting Of my Teutonic
fellow-citizens. whom ! hoped after
election day to call my "admiring
constituents" or, perhaps, my fellow
countrymen," after the manner Of great
men. always liked the Germans, and as
1t WAS my debut, l was anxious to make a
favorable impression. But / did not re-
ceive notification of my appointment until
late in the afternoon Of the day Of tho meet.
ing. The speeches were to be in German,
and WAS to round out the meeting in Eng
lish with some Websterian platitudes on
the issues Of the day. Now, l had no plati-
tudes in stock. and hadn't got to that giori-
tying period Of my career where, like the
fellow who sells his wafiies fresh from the
griddle, | turned them off from the rostrum
ad infnitum without previous preparation.
DO l started home for my sanctum. and got
down the Lincoln and Douglass debates,
and the Choice Selections from Burke
and Chatham. my Phillips, Currsn,
volumes Of speeches, with which my library
was we'll stocked. ! strung together a lot
Of bon mots from these copious sources of
eloquence, aud interspersed enough of raw
meat to give the production 4 local habita-
ton and a favor OF innocence, and then
committed the shining ebullition to the o.
tensibly we'll stocked shelves of my mental
storehouse. started for the German beer
hall. l had a friend and admirer on the
heavy head Lines. which would read: "A
telling speech from our candidate for dis
trict attorney-the nail il hit ~squarely on
the head" foated before my ardent and
unsuspectinR imagination. I'll had thought
less OF the headlines and more of the
democratic morning paper, and visions of
speech might have planted foreget-me-
nots in me lu1uriant soil of my radiant
fame. ! got to the hall. The meeting had
not yet commenced. / saw one or two
friends. including my friend the
snb-editor of the democratic paper. l let
them cautiously into tho secret Of the forth
coming meteor which WAS to start on its
journey from the beer hail and find an
a~biding-placs IN the pages of English class
les. told my friend Of the corporation Of
the Roosequill with what ~ferocity and mn
answerable logic was about to fay the re-
publican candidate for congress, who. to
catch the Irish vote, had said that free
trade was the cause of all the potato fam
ines in Ireland. ! would quote Justin Nc
Carthy, and Mitchell and John Stuart Mill.
SAID. He wanted a copy Of the speech for
the morning paper. told him would call
around at the Office after the meeting and
give him the speech. Up to this point
the world seemed plant in my grasp, and
the very earth seemed to culver and pivs
beneath my power and touch. During all
this time | never thought of the lines OF the
speech. 1t was all there. | supposed, and
time should come. l would open tze valve
and let it loose. At last my turn came,
had listened patiently to ths German
speeches, which were very good, / %supposed,
from the way they went off, but of course
nothing compared TO what mine would be,
chairman announced my name. 1t was
received with prolonged cheers. The crowd
from the saloon in front of the hall began
to block up the doorways. Some little fame
l had already acquired, perhaps, ! thought
reception. Somehow or other an audience f.
always expects something in the nature of
fun, or f1stics from a melodramatic Young
lrlshmanwand the Irish are all melodra-
matte. There is something amusing about
the simulated ~affistus with which he clothes
a reference to the ''unmitlgated mendacity"
OF his opponent. / mounted the platform
mingly. The crowd cheered and
yelled at my elegantly rounded peri ,
ods-t dldnt make any differ nee
where they came from; the ambrosial flow
ers OF Phillips. the swelling ~o-gan-loft
tones OF Burke, or the seductive charms of
Curran were all the same to them. / looked
toward the chop-failen countenance of nv
opponent. who stood taking in the scene in
one OK the iar corners of the hall. OF
he had no show now. And there
went my fame careening over the tops of
the bear tables and out into the great world
Everything was rs serene as a !
scene in Venice. Finally ! came to
u =, passage OF Curran's where, speaking o. !
man stood redeemed, regeneratcd and dis
by the irresistible spirit of uni
versal liberty" 1t WAS at this point in
.urran's speech that the crowd had taken -
him on their shoulders and carried him tri-
umphantly home. | wondered what they '
do with me. had heard Sam Jones =.
great use Of it once in one of his Il
l got it of beautifully.
The cheers and applause we're deafeDing. g
was carried away-not by the crowd, how ;
aver. The next bead on the string WAS
Webstei's exordium to his speech on the -
toote resolution, where he speaks OF tho :
mariner pausing to take his bearings,
forget the artful little trick by which / had a
1t into the middle of the speech,
out anyhow 1t was done In amanner WORTHY
II Webster himself, if the of g.
may be temporarily excused until i.
AVE passed this painful part of NV story. >
But to save my life / couldn't think of the
words OF that passage. 1 had repeated IL
hem from boyhood up and WAS as familiar
With them as the letters of my W name. >,
nut it was as if l had struck the Sahara des. II
'rt OF my memory. 1t Was no nse-jt
60. The flint had been knocked =.
III the lock of my gun that / had II
Caded for bear and the bear was escaping,
70 matter how many times / drank leo !.
and circumnavigated the stage, that y
Id mariner WAS stuck in a istty and
ouldn't get him out. and what was worse,
couldn't think of the mate of the old mar :
ner or his nearest relation, and the crowd l.;
new ! had stopped right in the middle of Il
nv speech. Where was the calcium light
vhose reflection ] saw shining on the face 90
II my eIultant enemy and opponent now? al
The deathlike stiffness Of the audience,
'rOken only by whispered announcements :
hat he's stuck "he's run aground, ~,
he's stalled" crept over me like tho CHM :
lerisn gloom Of the grave. ao
The upshot Of the whole matter was that "
dropped the old mariner, got back on
hOre with the best possible grace ] could, IN
nd laid IN TO the enemy with q couple OF "
Id graphing hooks that l had reserved for q.
he last part Of my speech. hut the effect p
{ my great effort wat spoiled. A faint at .,
smpt at spontaneous applause greeted my "
losing sentence. descended from IN.