Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-02-19
PiTH AND POINT.

He who steals considers this aworld
of thieves.-West Shore.
Take love and taxes out of life, and
not much is Indianapolis jour
nal.
A candidate with telephone may
make his calling sure. while his election
is uncertain as ever.-Texas Siftings.
Jones' .What is the matter with
Catchmoney's new typewriter grip
Smith--"Oh: she is troubled by bad
spells Spirit.
BE a man ever so absent-minded, by
surrounding himself with clever men he
will always have his wits about him.
ST. Joseph News.
The man who bought cutter to go
sleighing wished he had bought one OF
the other kind when the thaw came. 1t
was good sailing.
If you want to be specialist, be
rather dentist than an aurist, for man
has thirty-two teeth and only two ears.
-Fliegende Batter.
"A Partial Reform.-''Have n cigar,
Wilkins?' 'No. Swornooff." ''Given
up smoking?" ''No. Given up your
cigars. N. Y. Sun.
"A Very Poor Man.-''You say he's
too poor to own a dog?" Eyes, l act
ually believe he is ''Then, of course,
he has two of Them
Hot water is said to be a sure cure
for every complaint, but we never knew
a man to feel any better because his
wife kept him in it.-Atchison Globe.
If you want advice, get it from the
man or woman who is nearest your
own age. That is, if you want advice
that you can accept.-Atchison Globe.
There are only nine parts Of speech,
but you wouldn't think it to hear two
women fighting about their children
over the back fence. - Philadelphia
Times.
Mr.. Dunly-''I always move about
in the best society" Mr.. Mayfower-
'Indeed?" Mr.. Dunly-''Yes, l am the
agent of a debt-collecting institution"
Epoch.
Useless to Aim.-Keedick-'' Fral-
shus ought to be shot on general prin-
ciples." Ransom-"You could not hit
him there. He has no principles
1nter-Ocean.
Look out" how1ed the impatient
vic tim in the BARRIERS chair. "Do you
think you're carving in wood?" ''No.
sir; more like etching on brass. Mil
waukee Sentinel.
-Critic-''I didn't like that last line
in your article" Editor-"Well, the
public did, Critic-''Why SOP" Editor
-s'Because it was the last line. AT
lanta Constitution.
Fair Woman's Failing.-Biggsy-
s'Have youread Looking Backward.
Wiggsy-'No; but I've often seen it
acted when two well-dressed women
pass each other on the street. Brook
1yn Eagle.
President Eliot's observation that
young men of nineteen don't know as
much as they had ought to know, will
be Indignantly resented by the young
men. Later on, however, they will
modify their views.
of course said the embarrassed
statesman, my parents did what they
thought would be most to my advant-
age when they gave me an education,
but they made great mistake when
they taught me to write. Washington
Post.
-Cobble-"How are you getting on
with your reading at the library?
see you go around there every day as
regular as clocb-work.' Stone-'I am
making fair progress, but 1 haven't
been introduced to her yet. brooklyn
Life.
The Lady's Natural Mistake
Kind-Hearted Lady stopping seedy
pilgrim on the street)-"My poor man,
is there any thing I can do for you ?''
Seedy Pilgrim-"You mistake me, ma
dam. I am not a mendicant. I am
trying to be an amateur Photographic,
on $40 a month";