The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-07-10
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Take a lesson from the straw berry
box. Tt is never full-Westfeld On. j.
Standard.
He Was His EquaL-"Smithers says
you're not his equal" Hes lying
sneak. I am. "--Springfeld Graphic.
"A Far-sighted Youth.-"Can you af-
ford to marry?" 81 think SO. 1 have a
clergyman friend who'll do it cheap
Epoch.
-Artist-"How do you like the por-
.rait?" Sitter-'WeIl, I don't exactly
ike the nose" Artist-"Ne do L
out it's yours. "-Harper's Bazaar.
-Mike-roscopic. = Mike = " Phwat's
a rnicrobe, Pat?" Pat-"Sure it's the
most invisible thing ye liver saw
BRAKES Magazine.
"A Bad Actor.-A wag, speaking OF
an unsuccessful actor, said: Ambition
legged him onto the stage and Disguised
audiences egged him off of it. Yankee
Blade.
Shelf hear that Mr.. Sheffield Hall
has wai5ten such fine thesis that ii
will soon be out in print" Lopher, '91
So, that's nothing, my thesis was
ouI I'D EI1AI HOAOAO "4OSS 40 AAo
Record.
Stupid -He-''I remember once
asking you for kiss" She-"What
did say?" He-"Nothing; you were
silent" Shetland don't you know
what silence means?" He-"No." She
Stupid fellowr' Blade.
-''Snip," said the tailor's dude Gus
toner, measure me for $40 o0tft.
I'm going to act the poor man here
after" 80, hope it's not SO bad as
that?" "Yes, I'm determined. I'm 60
ing to Fay for this suit. IN. Y. Con-
tinent.
-Howard-"I don't see how Peter.
man came to die such lingering death. "
Van Coup-"You never knew him did
you?" Howard-''No Van Coup
'Well, IL you had, you'd have under
stood Deaths ctancen-Louissille
Courier ournaL
The Only Things Injured. -"Tt ere
was fire in Smarvin's safe factory last
night" "Was much damage done?"
"Well, It wasn't big enough fire to
hurt the building at all, but it ruined
all the safes in stock. saturday Even
ing Herald.
~ think it is extraordinary the car
riage doss not come. Are you sure you
ordered tip" said she. Yes; that is,
wrote for it." said he. THAT accounts
for it," said she. 'Why do you say
that?' You are SO non-committal when
you wrife. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Odd Cent "-Grocer-"Pe!ter
you try gone dis fine limburger. Only
twentysix cents a pound" Wickwire
why don't you make the price an
even quarter? Why not knock off that
extra cent?" Grocer-''Vy, my friendt,
dot extra scent is vot makes it sell. -
Indianapolis Journal
Mr., Sinnickure, register of deeds,
comes homes utterly exhausted and
throws himself into a chair, to the con-
sternation of his family. Mrs. S.
greatly agitated)-''What is it. my
dear?" Mr.. SO, I'm completely used
mp! My deputy has been working hard
ell W-Toronto Grip.
"A psle person applied for admit
lance 70 p public hospital. SIT will be
necessary" said the resident physician,
''for you to undergo medical exami-
cation" When the examination had
been made the resident physician said:
Il am very sorry, sir but you are by
no means a sound and able bodied man.
You are, in fact, SO i'll, that you ale
likely 20 die any day. We can not I'D
NIT yo7. San Francisco Examiner.
Entertaining Reading. - Farmer
THAT was a stavin' paper you got out
last week" Country Editor-"J aIa
glad to hear you were pleased with It
Farmer-'Them stories you had 80
about theIn fellers bein' cured of lonS.
standin' diseases were the entertaining
est bits OF news I've read for long
time"