Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-11-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Eaten out of house and home-Picnic
lunches.-Boston Ne,os.
The "words that burn" go into the
waste-paper basket first.
The woman who says she "has waited
an age" is very careful not to add it to
her own.-Puc5.
"The Chinese are queer race"
"Arent they. What you might call q
scrub race, too. life.
az never have any luck" groaned
Chipsley. "You are fortunate. I have
plenty, and it's all ad."-Puck.
He proudly)-"My motto is live and
let live" She (wearily)-"I wish it
was sleep and let sleep. Boston Courier.
Photographer-"Now, look pleasant,
please" Customer-"It is quite impos-
sible, SIT. I'm ticket agent in rail-
road Office"
He--"Are you sure you care for me2"
She uish xe,i= ..,esstsdu'S-Le 81 SUN
picious. Have l asked yet to see your
bank book?'-Life.
Age before beauty-After time has
turned it into antiquity, reople may go
crazy over the ugliest article we can
make to day.-Jtlge.
Miss Dorcas-"Have the poor any
pleasure, think you'" Miss Ann Thrupe
--"Oh, yes They criticise the charac-
tiers of the rich. Puck.
''Do as l say" thundered an angry
father. "MIy will shall be law" "Well,
then, I'll bet it wasn't drawn by law
yer," returned his son.-Ltfe.
spa, how do you scalpa" said the In
dian boy to Oyster at-Laughs. "First
catch your hair" sententiously replied
the noble red man.-B0ston Transcript.
He swore long ago to succeed in life,
And the crown that he wears is not dim;
For a race-horse to-day is namet for his
wife,
And tug-boat is called after him.
Judge
my design for the female college2"
Friend-'I notice one incongruity-
has man-sord roof. ~ -Btnghamton Re
publican.
"Pop, what does commons means"
"Why, food-rations." "Then," said
the smart youngster, With wink,
ssisn't a hotel the House of CommonsW
-Baltimoae American
sis that the President of the bank9"
(which one?" "That stylish looking
fellow who says, i and the Board of
Directors so much'" 'sNo; that's the
janitor. ."-B,ooklyn Life.
'.No wonder the papers talk about po-
litical extravagances, said Mrs. Gill
hooley. "Didn't l hear my husband
talking the other day about a convention
that wanted silver platform l"-Balti-
more american.
Visiting Aunt Consulting railroad
guide)-"I never could understand one
OF these things. It's all Greek to me-"
Boston Child (aged three)-"It that's all
it Is, auntie, let me have it. I'll read it
for you."-C Chicago Tribune.
Responsibility "To look at that
young clerk one would think that he
carries greater weight of responsibility
than the proprietor" "Well, he does,
for that matter. The proprietor can
make mistakes without losing his job. !"
-Ladianapolis Journal.
Snow, gentlemen" said the eloquent
advocate, 81 leave the case in your
hands. In closing have just one re-
mark to make" And the experienced
juror in the dark corner of the box set
tied himself for another comfortable
half-hour nap.-Bu9aIo Express.
She assisted the fire with the kerosene can:
She always persisted in following that plan
In spite of her missus's rage.
And now she has flown from this dull vale
of tears
At the soft, tender age of ninety five years
She had to succumb to old age.
Indianapolis Journal.
According to the Burlington HaWkeyo
an old stage driver remarks that life may
be compared to set of harness. at
has traces of Gale, bits of good
fortune, breaches of good manners,
bridled tongue, and every one has tug
to pull through" 1t may be added
that it is saddled with great Responsible
ties.-LooeU Courier.