River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-08
THE LEARNED GROCER.
He Says There Is No such Thing Driet
Curranfs. and Tells Why.

He Says There is No Such Thing as Dried
Currants. and Tells Why.
Mother wants pound of dried cur
rants, said little girl who came into
the learned grocer's store on Eighth
avenue
IL hain't got a dried currant in the
store, and there hain't one in the city,"
replied the grocer But know what
you want, and I've got en-" The
learned grocer brought forth box of
the little sticky. sugary, dried fruit
popularity known as dried currants. and
used in fruit cake. plum buildings.
mince pies. buns and the like.
why, them's 'emr' said the little
girl.
''Yes, them's EN-" assented the gro
Ger; land if the Grecian maiden who
trod this particular lot of fruit into the
package had used a little water on her
feet before she began there wouldn't be
so much sand and grit in 'em as there is
She must have been having regu-
lar hoe-down on the classic sands before
she began to dance on this box of fruit.
There, sissy. tell your mother she
must battle 'em in several waters
before she uses 'em, nr she might
just as well put lot of sandpaper in
her fruit cake. And tell her they amt
dried currants. either"
"What's the reason they amt dried
currants?" asked a disputative Gus
toner.
They amt dried currants any more
than they're dried pumpkins replied
the grocer. The reason they amt dried
currants is that they weren't currants
before they were dried. That's reason
enough, amt it?"
"Yes." said the customer, less dispu-
tive. But what does everybody call
'em dried currants for?"
cause they don't know any betterr'
replied the grocer They'll go right
on coming in here and asking for dried
currants just the same after tell 'em
why they amt dried currants as they
did before"
what should they ask for, then2"
inquired the customer.
'If any man should ever come IN here
and ask for dried corinths," said the
grocer, "he would not necessarily he a
gentleman, but I'd bet on him for being
a Scholar. Dried corinths is what You
should ask for when you want this little
sugar-coated, gritty raisin, for it's
raisin, pure and simple"
Flows that?" the customer wanted
to know.
'Becauseit was a grape before it was
dried said the grocer, land if dried
grapes amt raisins what are they?"
'Rut You said these were dried cor
inthsl' said the customer. whats a
corinth, anyhow"
"A corinth is the smallest grape that
grows" replied the grocer, land it lost
its name years and years ago, because
it was gradually corrupted into currant,
which became the name of the acidu-
lated little berry of our garden. which
you might dry from now until
Gabriel sounds his horn without
getting it any nearer the condi-
ton of a raisin than a pea is. This
little grape grows all over the islands
of the Grecian archipelago, and was
first exported from Corinth, and that's
what gave 1t it's name. The lunches
don't grow much bigger than a stem of
red currents, and they are so full of SUI
gar that when they are picked and dried
in the sun they actually seem to melt
and run together, and it takes good
deal of care and trouble to separate
them again. After they are separated
is the time when the Greciar maiden
gets her work in on them, for
it is one of her pleasant duties
to jump on a heap of the sticky
fruit with her bare feet until
she has compressed enough of the
little raisins to pile three boxes into
one. No hydraulic press could do it
any better. If it could. we wouldn't
have the sand and grit the maidens'
feet mingle with the fruit, without
which no dried Corinths are genuine.
''Still, | shall expect folks to come IN
here and ask for dried currants just
the same" said the learned grocer, as
he went to wait on new customer
y. Y. sun.