The record-union., 1891-10-17

and two ravishing young gents in an
other, but on the return trip it is vice
vursea lone in tother and tother in one)
There has been great eXcutement the
last fue days, caused by q nameless as
Economical appearance of some sort
risin' in the eastern sky, taking on 6
golden hough about nightfall, and risin'
up near the Bartlett Landin'. 1t gradu-
ally grows larger and brighter as night
sets down on the undergrad and ware
houses at Lakeport. The scientist of oul
set is studying it, and has loaded bomb
shell with dynamite cartridges in order
to scare it away or something. Some say
it is an escaped comet, but few of the
vulgar lower sets intermate that it is the
moonlight shifting on window-pane in
RuddelPs upper story window. I think
our scientists explorations will startle
somebody yet, when he amt so busy
making electric door-belles.
There is petition being got up fol
somebody TO move the p. O. up on Not
Hill (at this place. so that the young
ladies of that vicinity can get their ntdL6
easier. Somebody took something from
the p. 0. not long ago that did not belong
to them and read it, and told somebody
else, who told Jacks best girl-and il
may be the U. S. troops may come up
here to see about it. Anyway there is q
law against disturbin' Uncle Sam's mail.
Our town is boomin'. Kurtz will open
his fish-stand. The job wagon still runs.
The church boxes were full of nickels
last Sunday-but the watermelon season
is nearly over. - The Bartlett ticket Office
has actually been known to go up in
charity Flat and hang on to 2x4 picket
gate until II p. NJ.
There is no more trotting of a black
steed now for our most noted lawyer.
He is dead to the turf and sings songs by
night to the turtle doves, as he wanders
around and uptown pigeon cote. His
buggy wheels are bein' doctored with
'Topobolambo" and his heart has gone
to roost.
The academy girls still chue black
jack, [ am informed, but ] can't vouch
for the truth of the report, for / amt
seen them lately.
The little English bobtail black still
promernades our ayennoos with the two
town beauties in a dog cart. 1t is En-
gHsh, you know, but the cows don't ap-
preciate the outlay, SO the same don't &c
in the country for fear Of soaring the
calves to death, you knaW; but it is in
our set, and all lovely, ethereal and Oscar
Wildey, you know.
There wos stolen by tramping Chin
ney sweep, who passed through this place
last Wednesday, a big black hat hanging
on two strings. No trace can be found o1
the property or the tramp, but tele-
grams have been sent to all the nearer
railroad points. 1t is generally thought
that the aforesaid thief intended selling
the aforementioned property to some
pawn shop in the city as a coal-scuttle
1t was poetic hat dipped in due, which
belonged to party Of the third set, and
was made on the kiss Me Quick'' style
Any one hearing of the same will be
suitably rewarded by returning it to box
No. 2.104, at this p. o.. to be marked
Hands Off. Liable TO Explode. Handle
with Care" etc.
Now the c. C's and B. BIS of this MSS.
don't refer to no c. C's and B. BIS here
totore spoken of in the RECoRD-UNIoN.
Potatoes has riz two cents on the hun
dred, and onions hey gone down.
With no disrespect to no one, remain
most appreciatiye admirer of the
RECoRD-UNION.
PIKE PENoLE, OR "P. p"
Lakeport, October Il, 1891.