The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-11-05
MISCELLANEOUS.


MISCELLANEOUS.
Aiaking 'Em Comfortable. = "is
Manson hospitable in his New Jersey
homer Very" You find everything
IN your room when ron go there, from
an assortment of neclkties tos quinino
pill Truth.
-Hrightly-''The newspapers have
said . great many hard things about old
Millionaire, but they must admit there
is one thing to his credit Evergreen
whats that?" Brightly-''His bank
balance. "-Philadelphia Press. ~
Sick and Dyeing. = Elsie-'.I de-
clare if Eunice's hair doesn't get lighter
every week since she was engaged to
Will" Josephine = Yes He hates
dark hair and she's just dyeing for love
of him. Elsie-''1 knew she was love-
sick, hut didn't think she would dye
for any body" Detroit Free Press
What nonsense is there?' he asked
as he looked over her shoulder at the
paper she had in her hand ''Some
fool dress pattern, suppose" "No,"
she replied. cts a diagram of the
pitchers curves in baseball" "Lemne
see it MS soon as you get through, will
you?"-Washington Post.
"A Leading Question.
"Hello, old boy! You look rather the
worse for wear. What have you been
doing with yourself?" Jester-''Been
off on little piscatorial toot, that's
an." Quester-"Yes, but what did you
fall in with?" Jestcr-''What did fall
in with? Why. fell in with my clothes
on. boston Courier.
Better than Azure Blood.
$50 you don't like Mr.. Harvester"
Daughtcr-'I don't. He's too coarse.
don't believe there's q drop of blue
blood in his veins" Pater-''Never
you mind that He's a mine owner,
and the contents of his veins are ores
that assays twenty thousand to the
ton" Daughter - ''I'l wed him. -
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
-Wool-"Have you been in the new
restaurant, where they weigh you when
you 20 in, and again when you come
out and charge by the pound for the
difference?' Van Pelt - mo; is it
u good placer" Wool-''You bet! l
went in ycsterday-had Saratoga chips,
dry toast and crisp bacon-fve cents.
To-day I had corn beef and cabbage
and English plum-pudding, and went
broke!'-Smith Gray & Co.'S Monthly5
This is a record-smashing year.
Mrs Georgia A. Brown made a notable
divorce record in Oakland few DAYS
ago. She fled her complaint on Tues
day morning, the summons was served
on Wednesday,, on Thursday her hus-
band put in a frivolous answer, and on
Friday the answer was stricken out
The case was referred. testimony was
taken, and the decree was granted on
the same aftereoon. Time, three and
half days.
The common plant is as much a
matter of speculation as the coming
man. Prof. George L. Goodale, of Har-
ward, says the first development is in
the direction of the seedless There is
no good reason. he thinks, why there
should not be scedless raspberries, seed
less Strawberries and seedless black
berries lie also expects plnms,
peaches and cherries without stones
This, OF course. means artificial propa-
CATION, and that, according to the
professor is what the world is coming
to. Slips instead of stones will be used.
Near Higatc about forty miles west
of St Thomas, Canada, was discovered
the largest s!<el Teton of any extinct ami
NAL yet found. 1t belonged to the
order of mastodon giganticus, and
measured % feet from end of the nos
trils to tip of tail. The tooth only of
one of these huge monsters of prehis-
toric times was dug up recently at Fall
ing Springs, near Bellevue, Miss,
which weighed fourteen pounds twelve
ounces. and had the skeleton been dis
covered it would probably have been
found to be that of an animal 80 feet
long.
Close to the circular boundary that
separates Pennsylvania and Delaware
is the graveyard in which legend locates
the famous ticking tombstone" 1t is
the graveyard of the London Tract
Quaker meeting house. known in local
parlauce as the London Track. The
region was settled more than two hum
dred years ago by Quakers from Lon
don. The present meeting house goes
back well into the last century. The
tombstone, according to local legend,
gives forth a constant ticking sound.
The possibility is. that the ticking is
caused by the trickling of a subter-
ranean stream along hidden deposit
of limestone
The magnitude of the figures con-
corning the operations of the RAILWAYS
of the United States in 1899, presented
in Poor's Manual, is indeed wonderful.
When it is remembered that the total
revenue of the United States for the
year ending June 80, 1891, was 1892, $780,
600 the vastness of the earnings of tho
railroads ($l, 0s6, 000. 0O0) may perhaps
be better appreciated The net earn
ings OF the railroads (ss41, 900, OOO) almost
equal the gross receipts of the United
States; and then as to traffic, it is hard
for the mind to grasp the figures. About
] ,5OO,OOO passengers day, and everv
day in the year, almost g, 00O, 900 tons of
freight per day and an average of rev.
cnue train mileage of over ), 600, 900 per
day.
-1npe'led oy the great outcry against
loquacious BARRIERS. st. Louis boss re-
Gently hired deaf and dumb assistant.
But the scheme didn't work. ':Thou9h
the man was an excellent workman"
says the barber, ''in less than a week
he found his razor almost as inactive a.
his tongue. He had evidently been
through the same experience in other
cities, for he very philosophically Of
fered to work at less than scale wages,
and did so. kept him about three
months and then dropped him, for no
fault except that he could not work up
a regular patrons trade. When all
other chairs were occupied some one
would 60 to him. and he picked up CON
outsiders business. But the
way everyday customers left the chair
for Others convinced me that the av-
erage man expects to he entertained
while being shaved, and kicks when he
isn't"