The record-union., 1891-01-20
THREE MEN TELL STORIES.
None of Which Were Chestnuts al
All Worth Repeating.

All Worth Repeating.
Let's all tell story around" sug-
geSted Blud to his associates
Il don't know anything but chest
nuts" said Finn.
.'Well, chestnuts are good at this time
of the year-particuiarly if you roast
them, as we may yours-so lead on"
"kceps hotel. He is pestered to death
with rats. They gnaw his floors to
pieces; disturb the guests at night run
ming about through the partition walls
and scare the dining-room girls so that
few of them became permanent en-
ployes. One evening needy-look-
ing man came along and offered
tain destruction of the rats. My
friend was quick to accept the suggestion.
Show the gentleman to the best room he
said to the clerk. Give him good sup
per and good breakfast, and tomorrow
he will begin on the pests. After break
fast next day the rat-killer reported for
business.
where the rats are.'
''All over the premises. Begin any
where. What help do you want?'
Get me a box about eighteen inches
square,
g Bring the gentleman box
Now get me a hammer
Quick, there, a hammer
Have you Stool?'
.'Get good stool from the office for
him.
Now bring on your rats.v And the
rat-Slayer sat down on the stool and
showed how he would hammer the ozone
out ofevery rodent that was brought to
the box"
81 have heard some stories in which
Luke Walpole, the Blind JUSTICE fig
ured," said Blud, beginning his reminis-
cence just as an Indianapolis Ne,cs re-
porter dropped in. ''There are many
relating to his father. When Luke
was q small boy his father was
prominent in politics. Once an unknown
young man aspired to the same legisla-
tive office for which the senior Walpole
was nominee. He challenged Walpole
repeatedly to joint discussion, and
finally Walpole agreed to hold one debate
with the aspiring young man.
Now" said Walpole to the audience
that collected to hear the discussion, I
make this proposition to my young
friend: If he viii agree to answer three
questions l will debate with him all
through the district
''The young man assented, and Walpole
continued:
In what year was the Constitution of
the United States adopted?'
.'The young man didn't know
Luke said the senior Walpole, dra-
matically, turning to his then young son,
lin what year WAS the Federal Constitu-
ton adopted?'
In 17S7 by the Federal delegates, in
17SS by the several States. of course
Now then, sir,'' said the senior to his
would-be competitor Sin what year was
the Constitution of Indiana amended p"
The unhappy young man didn't know,
or wouldn't answer; so Walpole once
more turned to his son and had him
answer the question. So, too, with the
third historical question.
"'Therer' said Walpole to the audi
ence, you see what kind of man my
opponent is. He knows nothing of the
history of his State or country My
poor, blind boy here knows more in a
minute than my young friend here has
learned in lifetime. / have no time to
debate with such as he is, and / think,
my countrymen, you have no time to
listen to him.
when / was boy" said Greens,
there was current story of good old
Quaker who had never uttered but one
unseemly word. Harassed to death by a
stubborn OK, he turned on him one day
with this remark: l'll not curse thee
and I'll not beat thee, but I'll twist thy
id tall"