The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-20
CHRISTMAS YARNS.
Copyright. 1891. BY the United Press. }

N~cPSf*Stts -oSAs OF We CHtteu Frees
NEw York, Dec. 19.-"Here's your
special Christmas number of the"
The sentence was never finished. It was
cut oil in the middle as suddenly as il the
train boys vocal chord had snapped. The
man who rode with his back to the engine
was the cause.
'Stop that noiss," be yelled. "confound
you Get outl Scatl! Go back and feed
your Christmas literature to the people in
the emigrant car"
'S'matter." said the boy. "Dont you
never read no Christmas talesin
mo, sir, | don't; and what's more, il you
try to sell me one of your ossifed old yule-
tide ghost stories I'll slam you on the ground
so hard that isll jar the kangaro0s of their
perches in Australia"
Gee whiz!" said the boy, as he backed
toward the door.
why do the heather rageF inquired the
man with the dead turkey and tive other
bundles on his knee.
"Ragel Its enough to make any man
rage. Why I've read 'em all there hasn't
been a new one In ten years. I've been
looking through the recent epidemic of
Christmas literature, and they are all
there"
"Allm
Yves. Certainly, all the shriyeled old
chestnuts that We met years ago. They are
dressed up little differently maybe, but
you'd recognize 'em in a minute.
There's the stern old Patterson little
wild, but a manly, independent fellow
quarrel on Christmas eve. because son wants
to marry Susan Jones, the gardeners
daughter-son runs away gardeners
daughter disappears simultaneously-stern
father won't forgive-swears he won't as
quick curtain is rung down on chapter /.
chapter IL-ten years later-Christmas
eve agaln-stern father, still rich, but very
lonely-remorse and heavy dinner makes
him feel blue-determine TO 90 out and do
something to brighten the Christmas eve of
some unfortunate one-chilly night-fass
falling snow-streets Of big eity-shiver-
ing uewsboy-stern father pumps story
out Of boy-boy's father sick, and moth
ing to chew in the house-stern old
man buys 81 turkey and 81 worth Of gro
ceries-goes home with shivering boy
pours turkey and canned goods on floor of
dismal attic room-sick man sits up in bed
sick mans wife strikes a light-stern parent
recognizes son and Susan Jones-reooncilia-
on-forgiveness-plum pudding and certi-
fed checks handed around next day at old
mans house."
YES. know that old fellow" said the
man standing in the aisle. Have run
across him every year since was a boy
This year l find he is an uncle, but he acts
just the same as il he was a father. Then
don't you know the other one where the
farmers con goes away because his father
told him not to darken his door until he
pays for the bay mare that he accidentally
killed - son goes west and keeps
steadily at work for eight years prying big
chunks of silver out Of hole In Nevada
old man and his wife become very poor
thrNo D.,
about to be Observation-Disclosures at the door
'Ah there That's the sheriff. says the
old man-but it isnt-it Is the son, and he
pours a ton OF silver on the floor and saws:
There's your money for the blamed old
mare.'"
Eyes. that's the orthodox thing,n said the
man In the back seat, land you know the
one about the rich merchant bachelor who
had a romance in early life. A villain
came between him and his girl-letters in-
teroepted -insinuations - estrangement -
too proud to explain-ChristmRs eve tramp
calls at office-tramp ackno Wedges that he
was the villain and explains everything
tramp dies right there In his traoks-rieh
merchant orders him buried at his own ex-
pense and takes the $3.50 O'Clock train for
the village where his girl. an old girl now,
is teaching school-wedding bells, plum
pudding, mistletoe, ETC."
~ know thai one," said the man next TO
the window, but my favorite Is the one
that begins with a description of an Eng
lish baronets country house on Christmas
eve. House full Of Ruests-wide fireplace
in hall-great yule log perrily burning
ghosts stories being told by guests-Sir
Charles tells story Of haunted chamber in
which the ghost of Sir Charles grand
mother appears every Christmas night
Rupert de Jenkins asks to be
assigned to haunted chamber
Rupert retires - can't sleep orders
up Ice water-can't sleep some more-rnid-
night-feels chiliy-door opens-ghost OF Sir
Charles grandmother glides in and moses
around the room Rupert's hair stands on
end, but he gives ghost a chair. Talks
with her and discovers that the ghost is not
a ghost, but the somnambuljst grand
daughter Of the ghost-shows her to her
room, and maTries her the next week TO
avoid talk, and because he loves her any
how"
THAT reminds me of the Countess of
Desmond and her child that she leaves one
Christmas eve, dressed in a strawberry
mark and blue ribbon around her wrist,
at the door OF an honest mechanics home.
twenty-five years later there ia q wedding
ceremony. The child of the strawberry
mark Is about TO be matrimonially
glued to a strange young man, when
the countess enters and says me cheild me
cheildP and incidentally proves that the
strange young man is duke in disguise.
Now it's all right, but, for heavens sake,
why do they ali come back and straighten
things out on Dec. 24s For a change, why
don't they try Good Friday or the Fourth of
Julyp
THAT'S SO. And you know said the
drummer. as the brakeman called out our
station, "the one about the tramp coming
home TO die in his fathers hall bedroom on
Christmas eve, and the one about the sailor
getting back just in time to prevent the rich
old grocer from marrying the girl for whom
his dear old ace Of hearts has been beating
all these yearsT
"And don't you forget" said the con-
ductor, "the pathetic story of the long
haired scout way out at the foot of the
Sierras, who, on Christmas eve, rides thirty
miles in a binding snow storm to buy
Noahb ark as a Christmas gift for the
dying son of his old sweetheart.
T-a-r-r-y-t-o-w-n S-t-a-t-i-o-n. Passen-
gers out first" j. ARMoY KNOX.
WE'LL PAID WOMEN.
rrbav Draw Fat SalRriaa I'm Nav1 York