Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-08-23
"REMINISCENCES OF MAJOR COOK.
Some OF III. InInitnhlo Humorous ssIliss
on the AuotiOneer's Bench.
RICHMOND, Va, August II. lSJl'
To he Editor Of he DlsDa'ci :

To ne Editor of ne Dispatch:
The perusal Of your sketch OF tho lie
and character Of Major +. Is. Cook mas re-,
called TO me- many memories OF the geniai
old auctlOnecr.
may SAY without exaGgeration that, !
was str0ncly.'0ttach 20 tho kindly old
eentlemau--would thero wero more h4c
him-end this attachment began with my
earliest childhood and lasted up. 10 the
very hour Of his death. Indeed, II was
when my mind was Just beginning 20 70
ceive and record impressions that hrst
came IN contact with him-and % those
were the days whom Gullivor's JraYes
and the Arabian Nights we're my classics,
IL is not strange that he should have ap-
pcarcd 20 me as one greater then common
men.
Nv father was an intimate friend and
warm admirer % the Major, and WAS usei
to take mo frequently to auction.rooms
where this genius Of the commercial ro',
trum Was the central figure. ms aIorue'ii
me great delight, for young as "
could appreciate tho rare wit and vhl-
gerry Of to man.
TIA CRACK IN THB STOVE.
I remember ono occasion when his
humor impressed me "a helng recullai ~
unctuous. IL WAS IN 1872 ! think. when L
was eight years old, and the incident oc-
CURED ~ the Mai or auctiOn-rOoms. when
were then on Governor street, II my Nom
ory serves lie correctly. flr was selling iot
of much-a used household furniture, md
!. seated on my father kuce, was .nicLinH
him with intense delight lie had
sold bcIsteads. chars gnd 0ther articles
Of furniture, and finally came 10 kitchen
stove. which lie began TO Crr. Just as tne
bid ling began au .nquisitlve felov-a
probable purchaser. who wished, no
doubt, to cheaper tho stove Tor lis own
advantage discovered tnat there was .
crack IN It somewhere and told the auc-
tiOneer Of II Ia "a loud voice that a.! OF he
crowd heard. The MAJOR turned upon
HIN hcrcely: "a cTacE Ia il. 4 crdci IN
it,! Why. sir. it's al tho better for tfat !;
10 will save Won the trouble Of cracking
II. Tho tone IN which this sally WAS
uttered convulsed tle crowd ana the art
full wouid-be purchaser dared not venture
another dccrIal OF the stove. The Major
continued 10 cry tle stove, assuring the
b. iGsrs that this was an unu ually tne
stove one that vas already cracked -
AID finally knocked 1t ont to tao very
man who mad tried to cheaper H. IA he
brougE. down tho hammer no said, with
inimitahle voice and expression o. feature,
Sod Tor So I,e man uAo Joi0d me
crdckl'
TIE MTANE5r NAN.
On another occasion. at moro recent
date. he was conducting sale at his
Ninth-street nuctiOn-house nov Ma O'sJ.
Among the buyers was tho lato Sir. Nalen-
tine Winfree, hnOthor weil-knOwn auc-
tionecr, who Ind mild mama for buying
any auction goods that might 60 very
cheap. lie was . personal friend Of the
Majors, and a hunorlat az well, though
III different way; and there were many
entertaining passages of wit between them
during tho sale. MAJ Os Cook pretended
10 be greatly annoyed at Sir. Wlnfree'-
small bids and would frequently stop the
sale aDruDtly and oxclaim: Gentlemen,
there's the mcanest man IN Richmond. |
wish he wouldn't come here" Amcng
other articles sold was number
OF useful but unmcntionatie bouse-
| hold utensils. nearly all Of which were
! Knocked out to hr. Winfree 81 suns which
never exceeded cents-generally or z
! cents. Az ho knocked them out the Major
would say in q tone Of inevitable disgust
Sold, Tor cents, To Valentine " lntree
! the msanest man in Richmond lie
would always pronounce Mr. Mnfree s
proper name NOlentlne.' after the fashion
common ~ NirgInlans Of the older genera
ton. and tie peculiar infection be would
give l. would cause ripple OF laughter
alwa.s Finally he reached some artIc.e
! forget What-fOr which he could n gel
an o1er, not even OF i cent, 50 be turned
and looking fercely AZ Sir. Ninirec. *.
claimed: Gir1 a,rGy 70 Valentine Van
Jr6e.'
To me these Anecdotes arc characteristic
of Major Cook, end | never recall them
without smile. those who never knew
tho man cannot fully appreciate them, be
! cause there was moro IL his manner than
in the mere words he SAID; but those who
did know him viii, am sure. agree Will
me that they IRE very entertaining.
Take him all II all. he was q rare wit
always ready with some quantity humorous
/ simiie. spar king quip, or keen but kindly
repartee. JEFsERsoS WALLACE.