Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-02-07

draw bill, he would probably 60 and hltcn up
his steers.
A ABARREL organ-The official journal of the
Coopers Assembly.
So far the Congressional committeeman are
the suckers in the silver pool.
Poor school books are not to be trusted but
they seem to be the sort furnished by the
Trust.
A HALE holiday is better than none at ALL
IT is perfectly right to offer something for
anything you want, both in business and love.
Two snakes have died on Bernhardt's hands
since she struck New York. But her dog still
lives and she is happy.
THERE is more happiness in being than in
having, says the philosopher. But the average
human being is bent on having just the same.
GoRMAN is looming up as Presidential pos
sibility on the Democratic side.
CLEVELAND and Hill seem to have been
done Brown.
THE streets swept by the crowds are the dir
tiest.
THE buds in the musical conservatories are
sweeter than those IN the conservatories of the
florists.
It's chased.
INGALLS, says he is still good Republican,
even if Republics are ungrateful.
FINEST in the world-Gold dust.
THE soda fountain trust will probably fzzle
out, as the stock is watered.
THE only time mine is thoroughly inspected
is after the miners are killed. This is locking the
stable door after the horse thief calls, and Is
poor policy.
IT'S easier to pop the question than to ques-
tion pop afterward.
WHEN is ship like a horse9 When it's
docked.
1T seems strange that people persist in taking
better care of the teeth they buy than the teeth
| furnished by nature.
| part.
MONEY seems to be the sole salvation of the
| Salvation Army, after all.
A PRACTICAL joke-one worth a few dollars
| to the author.
MARKED success-The tattooed freak in
| the dime museum.
JUDGING from the shelving of the Force bill
| the same old coon must have seen his shadow.
| MINERS and minors are now objects of legis-
| lation. Negligence and narcotics are their
| greatest enemies
| and Reciprocity.
A FIELD glass-A swig of old Monongahela
at Wildwood.
HoRr1cUIruR1srs always use aowery
language.
miss a widow nor an old maids When she's
divorced.
JAY GOULD says the highest kind OF charity
| is that which gives employment to the unem
poyed. 1t depends on the wages paid and how
you get the money to pay them, Jay.
BLUE laws have to be read before they car
be enforced
THE Chicago girls who are giving the Indians
cigarettes undoubtedly believe that death
! alone will solve the Indian problem.
THE silver men are on horseback, but theil
| bill will be a rider
THE liquor license court is doing more bust
ness than the marriage license court, at pres
ent. Wine and women are decidedly in it.
1T is pleasant to note that this columns
feeder for the scissors and paste editors of the
land who live by appropriating the work Of
others. Waits credited to the Buffalo Express
Coatesville Union and TitusviIle Herald ap
peared in the Philadelphia Times and Recorc
of Thursday. Be honorable gentlemen, ant
give credit where 1t belongs.
The lawyers will probably drive hay wagons
through some of the laws framed by tn,
granger statesmen.
THERE'S great deal of bosh about the Iror
pudding industry.
THE farce comedy is suggestive, even il it il
plotless.
WILL is supposed to be law, but dissatisfied
heirs are not punished when they break it.
Two STRIKES is not a musician, but he Cal
lead band just the same.
TEETH are the only things cut on a bah.
farm.
In olden times slaves in England wore . col