Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-02-21
| N HIS ST U D 10
A STORY OF DEVOTION WITH
OUT A WOMAN.
WHITES FOR The EVENING STAR BY
HENRY HARLASD SIDNEY LUsKD.
tCopyrigktsdl
CHAPTER l.

AHeiS Vouc q n1Silly DailS " my uooff L
opened and in walked my friend Alvin More,
the sculptor.
What You, old man. I cried in surprise.
"WelR Any reason whN that should take
your breath AWAY he returned quietly.
why, yes" SILL II confess was scarcely
expecting Wit frG IN yon-"
well, it, always the unexpected that ar
rives, you know" said he. Anyhow, 1 don't
see Why Jon should treat it as thunder
clap"
Of the easy chairs before my fireplace, got hold
Of the poker, and began to stir the Goals. all
in the most familiar and Old-friendly manner
possible
Its bitter night" he remarked
swell, I'm glad to see you at any rate" said
l. ITO tell you the truth, fancied you were
in . huf with me-"
'.In . huff with yoa2 Why under the sun
should ! be in huff with you?
"Ah, that was just the puzzle. I couldn't
for the life of me imagine. But we all thought
You were in huff with us, with the lot of us.
Certainly you've avoided Us like the pest Of
since long before Christmas. You haven't
dined at madame's since Thanksgiving. And
twice when l have passed you In the street
you've cut me dead You've treated the other
fellows III tQe same way. SO-Wel, We grew
cur inferences"
Il hayen't felt in q social mond lately. that's
all. I've been keeping in my shell a bit As
for cutting you in the street." he added indig-
nantly, ''you know perfectly well I'd be incap-
able OF such thing couldn't have seen you;
must have been thinking about something; in
brown study I've had a good deal on my
mind lately"
'OA, of course We supposed something of
the kind. We all agreed that there was some
thIur with Nora W only llffAred aa IN
the possible nature Of his trouble. There were
three theories current among US; one that you
were, as / said. in huf with US; one that you
were in love, and one, IL you don't mind my
being frank, that you had the national disease"
THE national disease?" he repeated. 'What
the deuce Is thst?'
why" explained, "the disease that affects
every good American upon his attainment of
that for which every good American is striving
tooth and nail success. Success, dear boy, is
our mammon of unrighteousness the golden
calf before which we all fall down and worship.
And when success smiles upon one Of US he is
afflicted with a strange and terrible disease.
Dingy little half-dollar ordinaries like madames
become intolerable to him; he can stomach
nothing lower id the scale of restaurants than
Delmonico's. The mere mention of beer
makes him bilious; he must drink champagne.
his memory Is weakened and his eyes lose by
degrees their power Of recognizing his less
successful friends. Those a few of the
symptoms A good many of the fellows thought
you had it."
Il give it mp" said More. shaking his head.
you've got the advantage Of me. don't
smoke you. That disease is!'
Its called the big head, for short" MUIR
INJURED, looking hard at the fire.
The big head?" he cried. ''Why on earth
should have the big head?''
"Why, indeed? Why should any one have it,
il You come to that? Oh, why should the spirit
Of mortal be proud? You are a successful man
and We feared your success was beginning to
tell upon you. Verstehen sie?'
Il successful? Since when in heavens name
have l succeeded?''
well, let me see. / never had any head for
dates, but it's about two years ago now. isn'tit
SINCE you got the order for the Smith mon
ament? A go, 900 ORDER We thought az the
thing was drawing toward completion aud your
$40, 900 we're within measurable distance-weu
some Of us thought your hat was beginning 70
get too small for you As Walter Besant ex-
presses il, pride nowadays instead of going be-
fore q fall seems 10 come after a rise"
you're a set of uncharitable curmudgeons"
he cried 1--we been in the deepest depths
Of the blues felt as though I'd like to 20
hang myself to my bed post and be buried in
the potters held Then to avoid inficting
myself upon my fellow beings I've uursed my
misery in hiding; and you, Ike the dear, good
old chap Won are, You hold a council over me.
and decide that I've got the big head. call
that-you We been frank. now III be frank-I
call that ID unfriendly of you ALL
"Oh, well, !" said /, ''let bygones be bysones
Its been a misunderstanding. and I'm very
sorry, for my part, if I've done you IN injus-
uce so long as you haven't got the big head
and prove il by dropping in and stirring NV
ire for me in this affable manner forgive YOU
from my heart And now tell me. if you please
how is the statue of Major General Smith pro-
gressing?'
The statue of Major General Smith is fin
ished-"
Finished Good enough congratulate
you When did You finish it, And have you
got your money? Perhaps you've come around
TO blow me of, / suggested loosely.
NO, i haven't exactly got my money yet."
he answered, but the thing is finished in clay
and the casters are coming tomorrow"
We'll, honestly, old man. / congratulate
you BY Jove, you ought TO be the happiest
mortal on the face of Manhattan Island. It's
two years you We been ut work on it. isn't it?''
Yes, two years, a little more than two years.
Two years utterly wasted. Two years lost
clean out of my hfer he cried with sudden
bitterness.
Two years lost out Of your life?" I echoed.
what In the name OF reason do Won nlean?''
Il mean that I'm the most miserable wretch
on the face Of Gods universe" he answered.
literally gnashing his teeth Il mean that the
thtrgs failure, an utter, abject. unqualified
failure could could cut off nv hand that
modelled it. I'd like to smash the blasted thing
into thousand atoms. The mere thought Of
u makes me sick"
.0h, I see," said I. "You're OF your head.
&sO, u NOT Oh ucaQ. i Wish i were.
But what tell you is the truth. You don't
suppose I'd want to think il SO il i could help
IT, do you? It's the truth. I've fought shy Of
II and tried not to acknowledge it this long
while; but it's no use. At the eleventh hour Il
has forced itself upon me. The things q mons
trosity-sn abortion"
"Ah, yes, poor old chap, you're of your
head, repeated. The last time saw your
general he babe fair to become q masterpiece.
Unless you've altered him nightly for the
worse since then you're stark mad now. But
don let that dismay you You'll get over il
ell right presently. It's one Of those periodic
fts OF dementia that befall every yotary of the
srts The man who doesn't go of his head at
least two or three times year is no true artist
It's action and reaction, you know. He has
spells Of enthusiasm and delight in his work
when he fancies II far better than 10 really is
and these are succeeded by spells of horrible
depression, when he thinks IL infinitely worse
Its night and day; III swing of the pendulum
You'll De all right again by and by
What you say" admitted Nore us true
enough in . general way, but il isn't true of nv
special case. This is no mere mood with me.
it's q conviction It's been growing on me-
growing ON me, little by little, irresistibly, for
the past SIX months. feeling, n conviction,
that the thing was wrong. al wronk As /
told you, fought shy of il; / tried to run away
from il, tried TO hoodwink myself, cheat my
sell, play the ostrich and stick my head in the
sand go to work in the morning saying:
Nonsense! It's all right. Work away at il and
nnish IT. But then just as surely night