Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-02-04

sharpened Its wits driving queer bargains with
queer people. Yes, the men who have punched
a goodly section of Western Pennsylvania full of
holes. who have turned grease into gold, who
have illuminated the byways of the world, are
with us and of us now. You can see them every
where. OF the oil though they be they are not
oily. No, indeed. Frank, strong-gripped,
plain-spoken, whole-souled are they They
play with fortune, coquette with chance, and.
win or loose, never change. They know that
grief should be carried in secret and Joy
handed around with a liberality that Is prodi-
gal. They seem to be built on loyal lines, living
for to-day instead OF tomorrow, giving and
taking without grumbling or wincing They
have injected lymph in the body of business
which cannot but prove beneficial. They are
working bees in the great hive. and there's not
a drone in the swarm, either. They will add
millions to the city's wealth, will add thousands
to the city's population will add another page
to the clty's history. May they multiply and
prosper, live long and be happy, and never
strike "duster."
The old saying that the ruling passion is
strong in death applies particularly to polit-
ical party on its last legs.
Villas, Vest. Vance. Voorhees, and Veto
The V's are undoubtedly in it.
WHY are shippers like lecturersf Because
they have to pay for hauls.
ONE of the Crow Chiefs is named His
Breath. Agency whisky is doubtless response
BILE for this cognomen.
INCOMPETENT men who undertake to do
work which they cannot perform are criminals;
but unfortunately, the law cannot reach them.
LOVE of dress has made marriage luxury
except in darkest Africa and the South Sea
Islands.
THE wholesale druggists want medicine to 60
up, but it is bound to go down.
IT'S about time for the sensible Congressman
to shout, What are we here forf"
PIANOS are both square and upright, but
when abused they utter false notes.
WHEN is poker player like a waiterf When
he holds pair of trays.
WEALTH breeds luxury, luxury breeds
laziness laziness breeds loafers and loafers are
too tired to breed anything.
THE dramas of the present day develop the
muscles and not the minds of the players.
BRIcE will be forced to have his washing done
in Ohio in order to retain his seat in the Sem
ate.
THE man who is correct in his dress may not
be correct in his habits.
A GOOD watch is known by its works.
SULLIVAN would still be an Elk if he had not
insisted on swallowing the horns.
CHILE bites but the Peruvians furnish the
bark.
ONE swallow does not make summer. but 1t
frequently indicates fall.
In Franc, criminals generally lose their
hearts before they lose their heads.
PATTI has had tight grip on the public for
long while, but the grip has her now. Per-
haps the last was her farewell tour, after all.
THOSE who have skeleton in their closets
do not have to be told to shut the door.
THE present Congress is determined to die in
disgrace.
BONNET is sometimes called duck pre-
sumably because Of the size of the bill.
TOMBSTONE makers who sell shafts on time
should cut beneath the inscription these hope
full words: "In God we trust"
OwENBY was the bait-cutter for the silver
pool fishermen, hence he is not saying much.
nSpooF" and "wide' are the latest London
slang words To 'spoof' man is to ridicule
him. To call him ''wide'' is to compliment his
range OF knowledge and shrewdness To Illus
trate: Harrison, oh, he's spool; Blaine, oh,
| he's wide. See.
THE depth of mans piety cannot be meas
! ured by the length of his prayers.
STRANGE though it seems first love is the
| blindest.
THE London Gaities must be short Of skirt
dancers, judging from the material furnished
| lately.
THE tongue has to be bridled before passion
| can be curbed.
FAITH places nothing but dust in the grave
| and sees the sun instead Of the shadow hover
| ing overit
sHAMs are realities in every well appointed
bed chamber.
PREJUDICE is too often polite word for bull
| headedness.
Don CAMERON now realizes what it means to
have greatness thrust upon him.
| IT you want to find the plot of the farce
comedy you must get in on the ground floor
when the plotters put their heads together to
| select a name for the company.
THE best cooperative housekeeping is Sc
| cured by marriage and dissolution Of the
partnership existing between the families of
| the contracting parties.
| WHEN is caller like gun? When he's a
smooth-bore.
If the cloture could be applied to Allegheny
| life might be worth the living over there
| AGE has fattened the Bernhardts form and
art has fattened her pocketbook.
THE clouds hanging over Pittsburg have a
! Golden lining, and every person not blinded by
| sectional prejudice can plainly see it.
| A GREAT many people who patronize rural
| race tracks are broken on the wheel.
| PEFFER's whiskers reach to his waist What
| a beautiful plaything Kansas has furnished the
| Potomac breezes.
|