The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-11-20
THOROUGHLY SATISFIED.
Experiences of Mr.. Finkenbinder as HIS
wife's Champion.

Experiences of Mr.. Finkenblnder as IIis
wife's Champion.
Lem. that man in there stepped on
my dress and tore it."
"what man?"
The man with the goggles on. He's
holding on to q strap. When the car
stopped started to come ont, and he
put his great big foot on my dress.
Just look at It, will you? It's ruined"
"It was an accident, wasn't it3"
"No. He did it on purpose. If I was
9 man I'd go back and knock him
down."
"why, Fan"
'And II / had husband that had
any spunk he'd do It for me-"
The street-car had got half block
away by this time. but Mr.. Finken-
binder did not hesitate. His courage
had been called in question. His
knightly honor as champion of the
family was at stake. He ran after the
street-car, caught it, and went inside.
Are you the man that stepped on my
wife's dress just now," he demanded,
bristling up TO a red-whiskered party
who wore pair of green goggles.
"Was that your wife that went out
Just now?" asked the red-whiskered
party.
at was, SIR"
"If stepped on her dress I didn't
know t."
"She says you did it on purpose"
I. "If she were a man I'd make her take
that back"
II represent her, SIR"
You do, hey?"
Eyes sir, and I'm a man."
ITO some extent, sir; to some cx-
tent" replied the man with the Cog
giles. as he looked Mr.. Finkenbinder
over.
"I'll show you"
Say! Look herel I don't want to
have any trouble with you. II you'll
bring your wife back here I'll apologize
TO herr
You'll apologize to me, SIR"
Mr.. Finlxenbinder was becoming bel
iigerent..
You'll apologize to me-" he repeat
CUT Oif W ~
You'll what?"
"I'll punch your head!"
You little speckled bantam" roared
the other. "If you don't climb out of
this car I'll step on you"
Mr.. Finken binders reply was a
swinging Highlander. 1t lit squarely
on the administered party's goggles,
knocked them all out of shape, and
broke the glasses in fragments.
The next two or three minutes seemed
like dream to Mr.. Finkenbinder. lie
dimly remembered afterward that he
experienced sensations as of a man be-
ing tossed from one side of the car to
the other, flattened against the roof,
TANNED under seats, whirled round on
his own axis. opened and shut like a
jack.knife, and used as foot ball.
There was n roaring in his ears, sparks
of fire danced before his eyes, and an
odor like that of birthstone filled the
air. Women screamed. men lodged,
and there was a general rush for the
doors.
At the expiration of his engagement
with the administered party Mr.. Fin
kcnbinder found himself sitting on the
ground. lie was alone. The car was
turning the corner block away. He
picked himself up, looked about him to
take his bearings, and the recollection
of what it was all about came to him
by degrees. He went slowly back to
the crossing where his wife was wait
ing for him. His hat was gone, his coat
was split up the back, his nose was
twice It's natural size, one end of his
shirt collar was loose and dangled
mournfully over his shoulder. one eye
was closed, and he was covered with
dust and humiliation from head to foot.
did you demand satisfaction from
the brute, Lem?" asked Mrs. Finken-
kinder. as her husband hobbled toward
her.
30, yes!" he replied, glaring at her
with his only visible eye. -''I demanded
satisfaction from him. And l got it,
madam got II! hope you are as well
satisfied as am. Has there been any
other giant that has stepped on your
skirt or dared to look ut you since |
have been gone? II so,"h went on,
with horrible calmness, 'I'm ready to
go and paralyze him, madam! Want
me to go and whip anybody else' Any
other seven-foot man, with fist like q
canvas-covered ham, that you'd like to
have me go and knock down for daring
TO li-c = the same ward you do? You
don't happen to think Of any? Then
come on. madam. With your permits
sion, your champion will escort you
home"
And, followed at little distance by
Mrs. Finkenbinder, he hobbled on down
the street, somewhat demoralized, but
thoroughly satisfied.-Chicago Tribune.