Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1891-01-29
AN unDsaaRounD EXPERIENCE.
a High strung .iothamite Discioscs an
Unknown ,'hapter OF City Life.

High strunt ssothamite Discloses an
Unknown happier OF City Life.
II there is an ybody in this town who
bankers after the thrilling he can crafty
his appetite at very little outlay. Let him
90 to the underground station Of the Har-
lem railroad at Eighty-sixth street and
Fourth avenue, pay five cents TO the be-
whiskered patriarch who presides at the
subterranean ticket Office there. and pass on
down into the abdomen of Yorkville. Time
the trip TO make it half past p. m. OF a
week day and then wait
If he doesn't experience within the next
five minutes a nervous sweat that will
knock out of his system generation's
germs of malaria, then he is deaf and dumb
or has fought in wars.
In the first place you're all alone. You
can just distinguish in the darkness, EN-
phasized by three paralytic gas lamps,
long, narrow, damp platform, track on
the left backed on its left by wall of stone
and on your right a high brick partition,
punctured at its top by semi-cireular open
ings, whose purpose you wonder at, but
not for long.
A drip, drip, drip Of accumulated rain
water makes your flesh creep You begin
to figure out your Indebtedness to the
world, your last unpaid life insurance bill
rises up to haunt you, thoughts of home
and the fellow who'll succeed to your job
make you groan, and it occurs to you how
sweet it is to die-at home, with friends
and physicians and medicine bottles and
oranges around you.
But you are brought back 10 earth. OF
rather the bowels of the same, by noise
a cumming noise like that your singing
top used to make when you were n little
lad 1t grows on you, this noise: it huns
and then buzzes in your ears. it sets the
lamps jogging; it seems to set You crazy.
A fash OF light Is thrown on the track at
lour feet; you spring back in terror a
great monster with flaming eye PUSHES at
YOU; you cover your eyes and wait for the
crash: you hear whistles shrek
Gabriel's trumpet disappoints you in its
shrillness; two ciangs Of n craclsy bell an
nounce your arrival above. the air is
rushed past you; the noise goes with it.
you open your eyes and find yourself in the
clouds That familiar feeling of dyspepsia
is still doing business at the old stand, and
visions of patent medicines in the land
you're nearing cross your poor, bewildered
brain. But the clouds are steam: they soon
pass through the holes above. blessed holesl
and yoU breathe again.
You creep up out of that tunnel better
man-morally that is. for of course your
stomach's upset. and you know there is
God, and you tremlle and are faint
Then you tell your wife Of the poor devil
who works in that modern inferno from
till daily for the monthly remuneration
OF S65 He must pull and haul and yank
millions of souls safely over the switches
conferred there every year of his service
You resolve and adopt unanimously in
your quiet, sweet home the opinion that
the best paid men in the world ought TO be
switchmen. And you think great deal
all that week and you 80 TO church the
next Sunday, and you are glad you live If
you are dyspeptic, aud you ride in cabs
and a." trains ever after.-Cor. New York
Herald