Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1891-04-17
INSANiTY'S FREAKS,
QUEER ILLUSIONS HELD BY APPAR.
ENTITY SANE PEOPLE.

hSA
chants Startling Bclicf-Thoush. He
Was Jesus Christ.
Not long ago an old man, looking likea
rich, retired merchant or banker, walked
into the office of one of the foremost pub
fishing houses of New York and asked to
see the head of the firm. That gentleman
recognized his caller as a man who twenty
years ago had been the junior member of a
great Wal street firm. lie also remem-
bered that the senior member had been one
of Lincoln's most trusted advisers in fnan
cial matters.
The cX-banker said: "You will remem-
Der that my partner, who died about six
months ago, was very prominent during
the civil war. Every one in New York
knows that Lincoln many times averted
his counsel. Now, l lave in my possession
papers and memoranda showing how very
much Lincoln was indebted to him. This
information is of a deeply interesting, and
l might say, of a startling character. I
thought, perhaps, we might make some
arrangement to write a memoir. | feel
certain that it would pay, besides being a
fair tribute to my friend and throwing
much light on history.
Nj OF LINCOLN.
The eX-banker went on to tell that he
had proof that his partner drew the orig.
inal draft of the Emancipation Proclama-
ton. besides doing many other things of
vital Importance. The publisher was de-
lighted, and made arrangements for a
writer to call at the e~x-bankcr's house on a
certain day and begin work. The pub
Usher talked with the ex-banker for an
hour or more and they separated, equally
we'll pleased. At the appointed time the
writer called and began to discuss the
forthcoming book. After some time the
eX-banker said:
There is one thing l have not yet told
you, and it is the most important of all"
Ills voice sank to Il mysterious whisper,
My partner assassinatcd Mr.. Lincoln"
NO." said the writer, drawing back and
looking at the eX-banker in an astonished
way.
Yes" said the eX-bunkcr, she killed
him. And then he proceeded to relate a
wild and rambling story. The writer
questioned him, and was soon satisfied
that he was stark mad. On all other sub
jects he was perfectly sane. On this one of
his partners connection with the Lincoln
administration he was insane.
y few years ago the police of Newark
AN WA IL VI ohAo MIN, tiJOtlU
which they decline to talk even yet. One
day a nan Of respectable appearance
walked into police headquarters at New
ark and said: ~ "m Il dry goods merchant
from Chicago. | wa, passing through here
and stopped Off at the station. l had a
valise with 81 GOO in bills in it. left the
valise on IL seat in the waiting room while
lsteppcd out for Il moment. When l came
back it was gone. | am fortunately not
entirely without money, as l happened
to have Il few hundred dollars in my
pocket"
The police were at first inclined to doubt.
| but when the man told of two women who
had followed linn from Chicago and had
ac;cil susliiciou,ly the clipf WIS interested.
lie ordered lil!yent search for the robbers.
. Circumstances came up which verified the
mans story, and tn" result vas Il great hue
and cry. III" man went to IL hotel to await
developments. He spent his own money
freely and encouraged the police in every
way. Several days passed. The story and
tive descriptions Of the supposed robbers
! were trlcgraphed all over the country.
They We're seen here and there. Would be
detectives ia sMu"ll towns mad. arrests,
The newspapers were full of it and the mys-
tcry grew each day. Finally the man from
--I!irago took one Of the detectives aside
and said to him:
"Pcrhal:s | should have explained one
feature of this case sooner. 1t may have
an important bearing. The fact is l am
Jesus Christ. | think these robbers may
nave betn The devil in disguisc.'
The detective stared at him and then
called in other detectives, who put the man
anlcr arrest. At first it was thought that
the loss OF the money had turned his head.
But it ut last came out that, aside from the
fact that he was Il Chicago merchant, the
story was false in every particular. The
police were cnragcd and locked the hoaxer
in an asylum as soon us possible. They
still remember the great laugh that arose
all over the country.
Inspector Byrnes tells n story of the same
nature.
STEAMBOATS, w TIE STREET.
One day a man rushed into police head
quarters much excited. He was deaf and
dumb. He seemed almost FRUSTRATED with
terror. After they had Gained him a little
he explained that he had been robbed of
1000 by some men who had thrown him
down and had nearly choked him to death.
The inspector had Il searching examination
made, and after II day or two proved con-
clusively by the mans friends that he had
not been robbed, and that he was not
even deaf and dumb. The inspector was
not pleased at having this sort of a. trick
played upon him. So he sat the man down
in chair and engaged him in conversation
One of the detective sergeants Slipped up
behind him and jabbed a pin into his Jack
about two inches. The deaf and dumb
man rose straight up and yelled:
"Great God, inspector, what was that?"
"That," said the inspector, els my cure
for dumbness. Git!'
He was gone, and seems to have been
permanently cured.
| Capt. Reilly tells of u man who called on
him a short time ago with an odd COM
plant. He was a quiet, gentlemanly per-
son, we'll advanced in years. He said: 81
I'm much troubled with large steamboats,
blowing up and down near my house at
night. They make a great noise whistling
and blowing, and | cannot sleep for them"
Capt. Reilly supposed the man lived near
the water front, and said:
"Where's your homer"
II live in Seventeenth street, between
Seventh and Eighth avenues said he.
StTI~ ,A>N- ,~r+. l--- C