davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

New York - "Shall we go the
beach?" Boston--"No; the waves are
too wild for me to associate with
Truth.
As If He Had Any Jim--"I think
Bob is conceited." Harry---"Why SOP"
Jim-"He said he was going to blow his
brains out. ut."-Boston Democrat
Miss Ugly Girl-"The whole affair
was so absurd that, / assure you,
could hardly keep my countenance.
Miss Flip-"Why did you want top
Baltimore American.
--"Isn't this your prayer book, Miss
Chaser?" "Why, yes, thank you; it is.
How did you know it, Mr. Blunt9"
"When took it up it opened at the
marriage service"
--Flattery. Belle-'He said I was
handsome" Bess (enviously) "He
wouldn't have hattered you, am sure,
IL he knew that you didn't like fiat
terry. Yankee Blade.
Stars. s.-"What doyou think of these
sliding roofs for theaters?" Capital.
When the stars on the stage are dull
you can see bright ones overhead
Brooklyn Eagle.
--"If your husband stays out so late
every night should think he would
suffer from loss of sleep" 80, he has
ill day to sleep-he is serving on n
1ury."-N. Y. Press,
--Jinks - "It costs Waite pretty
steeply for board at his new place,
doesn't it?" Filkins-"Yes, but nothing
to what it costs him for his sideboard.
N. Y. Herald.
-Wife-"Our little Willie ought to
have white flannel suit to wear at the
seashore, dear" "Then why
don't you send my old one out and have
it d?"-Clothier and Furnisher
She rowed with me one moonlight night,
And we are married now.
We row no more; we're altered quite;
Now we pronounce 1t row.
-Somerville Journal.
-Papa-"I wonder what will be the
most durable color to paint our house. "
Maude-"Red, papa, red every timer
"Why do you think so?" 'Look at old
Soaker's nose! 1t never fades, but
grows redder every year!' Harrisburg
Telegram.
"A Lost Art.-''I had letter from
my son John to-day, Mrs. Briggs. He
is studying to be civil engineer" 81
am very glad to hear it, Mrs. Jones. 1
wish some of our young men would
study to be civil conductors. - Lowell
Citizen.
Warden (of insane asylum) - This
poor woman imagines she is shopping
all the time. Sometimes she sits in si-
lence for whole weeks" Visitor-"What
is she doing then?" Warden-"It is
supposed that she imagines she is wait
ing for the change. Cloak Review.
Miss Guitar-"Are you a musician,
Mr.. Phiol?" Mr.. Phiol (who practices
slightly on violin, in a well-populated
district)-'I-I am afraid can not pass
on that, Miss Guitar. Opinion seems to
be divided on the question in my neigh
I borhood. Colorado Sun.
Their Next Scheme. e.-Gazzam-"Do
9 you know what the silver barons pro-
( posed to do after they have sold the prod
, uct of their mines to the government"
$ Maddox-"No; what?" Gazzam-''They
: will start balloon line and extract the
i silver lining from the clouds. Epoch.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
The Art or Giving I'm.

Graceful renunciation is a fine art.
All of us have to give up, more or less,
but few of us seem to understand how
to make inevitable sacrifice, as it were,
with the open palm. We hang desper-
ately to the departing good (as we think
tit may not be good, for us), and
even when it is quite out of our grasp,
we clutch after it with certain con-
vulsive obstinacy that refuses to believe
it can not have all it wants nnd wills to
have-a melancholy halluci lation, aud
doubtless, to beings of hi cher order
Of intelligence, amusing as HSu. -zionl
Herald
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
PASSING A woMAN's UMBRELLA.
The Difficult Feat Accomplished by an
Old Gentleman in Kansas City.

The Difficult Feat Accomplished by an
Old Gentleman in Kansas City.
The momentous question of how to
meet woman with an umbrella and
pass to the other side without the loss
of your nat with your eyes unjabbed,
and your cravat still on was solved
lately by al old gentleman on Main
street. He deserves the unqualified
gratitude of the entire male population.
The old gentleman was stumping
leisurely up Main street toward the
junction. The lady was going in the
opposite direction, and was carrying q
very large, wide-spreading umbrella.
just before the two met the old gen
tleman raised his cane in matter-of-
fact way and held it in perpendicular
position, little to the side upon which
the lady would pass. He held it there
just as he would to turn aside limb
overhanging his path, and it worked to
perfection. OF course the lady did not
move the umbrella, but the cane did
The old gentleman had given three
fourths of the sidewalk already, and
that relentless cane stood up as erect
as if it had been planted in the rocks
| The umbrella struck 1T, OF course, and
began to revolve. Then the lady's arm
gave out and the umbrella swerved
against her hat, knocking it endwise.
Then it caught in her companions hair
and got tangled up. Both ladies stopped
for repairs and made remarks in which
were heard the words nasty man."
"hog," brute" and several other syn
| onVmous terms, The old gentleman
had been in town before, and he walked
right along with never word, his good
hickory cane keeping rhythmic time to
his step.-Kansas City Times.
The trombone player was fitting a
mouth-piece to his instrument with a
| good deal of care, and young woman
was heard to ask: IN ANNA, what can
that man be doing?" II don't know.
my dear" answered the mother, as she
leveled her glass upon the musician in
question, unless he is winding his
horn. You often read of players doing
that, you know"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
OHIO
CRADLE SONG.

Baby let us both 20 sailing
In our fairy bark away,
With its silken wings outspreadinT
To the country OF Cathay.
Let the two OF us mako voyage
Where In other days have gone
Nen and babies, dolts and sages,
All in quest OF Prester John.
Baby, let us both 20 sailing
To the Persian land away,
There to visit rosy gardens
At the dawning Of the day.
AS the sun begins its journey
Wen begin the pleasing tramp,
Seeking Aladdin, the lucky,
And his genius OF the lamp.
Baby, let US both go sailing,
Where the calm Pacific Hes
With its sweep OF deep blue surface
Spread before our eager eyes.
Let us leave its shores that gl3dden
With their palm trees, fruits and flowers
Till we come to Crusoe's island
BY this fairy bark OF ours.
Baby, let us both go sailing
Stormy seas Arabian DER,
Till we find where Sinbad's valley
Has Of diamonds countless store
Then, with gems Of priceless value,
Joyfully returning here,
Some shall shine on baby's trinkets,
Some shall deck its mother dear.
Baby, let us all go sailing,
Sailing to the land afar,
Where amid the fourleaved shamrocks
Dancing nimbly fairies are;
Let us at their mrthful revel
Take a sly and curious peep
All! the rogue has sailed without me,
Sailed and found the land Of sleep.
Baby by himself is sailing
In a shallop built of dreams,
Over lakes with blossoms circled
Through the friths of placid streams.
Crowned with poppies, robed with silence.
In his bark reclined at ease,
Who may know how far he wanders!
Who may tell what sights he sees?
Thomas Dunn English, in Harper's Youui
People
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12

Is
Tombstone was infested by Doc Holla-
day and other people of that sort. The
Earps managed to hold things level in
Tombstone, but the road agents bossed
the highway, and in Benson man was
liable to be held up at noon on the
depot platform while waiting for
train. Budd Philpot, brother-in-law of
Charlie Foss, She king of stage drivers,
was driving tho Benson and Tombstone
stage, and one night somebody tried to
hold him up not many miles from Tomb
stone. Philpot had had experience
with road agents, AID when he heard
the order to halt came from the dark
ness a little behied the off fore-wheel
he concluded that the robber was u
green hand at the business, and instead
of putting on tho brake he gave the
horses the silk and sent them ahead on
the run.
In nine cases out of ten the trick
would have won, as the robber would
have thought it hardly worth while to
fire at a rapidly escaping stage, and
the darkness would Aave spoiled his
aim if he did fire. Bat the crack of
Philpots lash was answered by the
crack of Winchester. and Philpot
half sprung to his feet, dropped back
with a moan, and swayed in his seat.
The messenger, who sat beside him,
threw his right arm around the driver
and with his left seized the lines as
they fell from Philpot' s'relaRed fingers.
The Winchester cracked sgain and
again, and a cry from the inide of the
coach told that one of the passengers
had been hit. The frightened horses
few over the road. The messenger
held the dying driver with one ann, n,auG
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12

Speaking of Judge Calhoun suggests
a good story about bis middle name.
which is Ezekiel.
81 asked my father once" said tho
judge, "why he ever put such thing
as Ezekiel in my name, as to the best
of my recollection no family precedent
or close friendship with anybody Of
that name warranted it.
"'My son. said he, L did it to, keep
you from ever parting your name in
the middle" and the judge has never
parted it.-Atlanta Constitution.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12

--''Yes, the ceremony has been per
formed and John and Mary are one. +"
"Indeed? Which one?' Well" an
swered the father of the bride, from
what l know of Mary's mother, /
should say-but, ah! here she comes. z"
Detroit Free Press
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
CREMATED THEIR JOSS.
A Chinese Family Burns an Idol for Bring
ing Bad Luck.

Chinese Family Burns an Idol for Bring
ing Bad Luck.
The corner of jackson and Eupont
streets witnessed as heathenish a scene
recently as any four corners of China
town ever presented.
1t was about 1890 o'clock in the fore
noon and the narrow thoroughfares
were crowded, but the crowd made no
difference to the Mongols who gath
cred there to perform their heathenish
rites.
First bonfire was built in the middle
of the street, then big wooden idol
fully three feet tall was carried and
placed in the center of the flames.
Twenty-four bowls of rice were laid
out in circle about tho fire; six bowls
of fat came next, and then four roasted
chickens.
A crowd of Chinese gathered with un-
covered heads. First one salaamed to
the idol, then another, then all to.
gether. A tomtom was sounded until
those in the distance thought boiler
factory had started up near by.
The big idol grinned and grinned and
grinned, and did nothing but grin, albeit
the flames were fast consuming his
godly person. And as the idol grinned
the heather worshipers grinned, until
it became grinning match all around.
slim bad luckee," said Tim Chum,
who was asked to explain the queer
performance.
1t seems that the family of Bod Ding
Lee was consuming an old patron idol
of the family, because he brought i'll.
fortune on the house, so the patron Idol
was burned alive. San Francisco
Chronicle.
Disturbing u Quiet Spot.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
A New Line.

"Look at Hawhaw, the humorist,
over there in the corner. Whew! How
swell he is The jolse-writing trade
must be looking up wonderfully. Only
two weeks ago he had hardly decent
rag to his back"
''He is not writing jokes any more
he has struck new and splendidly pay
ing line"
"Ah, what is it ?"
"Coining fool names for race horses, "
Puck
Newspaper Amenities. you
think there's lots of dash in Fluffinger's
articles?" Eyes; he will insist ON put
ting dashes between nearly all his sen.
tences. brooklyn Eagle.
There is newspaper story of man
out west who slept ia hours ION q
stretch" He was probably left hang
ing that long after the lynching. -Buf
falo ENQUIRER.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-09-12
DIsturblng a Quiet Spot.

Dlsturblng Quiet Spot
He-This is a very quiet corner o,
the park, isn't II?
She-1 thought so until / saw youI
new hunting suit. -Nnnsey's Weekly.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17

A Mrs RoTn has given to Harvard
University $4,000 to be used in build
ing an electrical engineering laboratory
for the Lawrence Scientific Schoo', a
branch of the university.
IN Southern Arizona there grows a
plant from which rope and Irvine that
will almost never wear out can be made
1t is the mescal plant. But very little
of this rope has been made thus far.
DaCroR HORACE FURNEss, the
Shakspearean scholar, has counted the
lines in Shakspeare's comedies and
found total of $4,000, and in all that
number finds but 10 that are hope,essly
obscure.
MORE than 400 married women have
applied to the Bureau of Charities and
Correction in New York since the 1st o
January for relief for themselves and
children, having been deserted by their
husbands.
CHOCOLATE Is used in the interior of
South America for currency, as are CO.
coanuts and eggs. Norway even now
uses corn for coin. In India cakes of
tea pass for currency, and in China,
pieces of silk.
THE United States leads the world in
the number and extent of it's libraries
The public libraries of all Europe put
together contain about 21,O0O, 900 vol.
umes, those of this country contain
about 100000.
A NUGGET of gold in one mass weigh
ing 80 pounds has recently been found
in the newly explored gold district In
British Guiana, and has been sent to
England as specimen Of the aqriferous
deposits in that country.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
Tho Only Ono Ever Printcd-Can You Fin
the Worslc

There is a 3-inch display advertisement
in this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one word. The same Is
true of each new one appearing each week
from The nr. Harter Medicine Co This
house places a "Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for it. send
them the name of the word. and they will
return you BOOK. BEAUTIFUL IITHOGRAPHs.
or SAMPLES FREE.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17

LATEST MARKET QUOTATIONS.

NJ. Francois Jules y. Grevy, eX-Prcsden
of the French Republic. is dead.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
Never Forgot His Teaching,

A young Atlanta lawyer has quite q
fine trotter, which he bought recently
from Kentucky drovcr 1t happened
that the drover bought the hor from
Cincinnati street-car company. lie had
seen him trot in the car. and knew him
to be fast. The young Albanian who
purchased him frs tried him out at the
Piedmont track. and found that he could
go inside of three minutes.
There is another young man here who
has a fast trotter, and naturally each
claimed his horse to be the fast 81. As
a consequence there was a bet, and tho
two young men went out to ! belmont
track one day last week to have mile
race for $50 side.
Il he Cincinnati hor was sorrel, the
Georgia nag lay. 1t happened that
one Of the friends of the owner of the
bay knew of the past life OF the sorrcl,
and knowing him to be the faster of the
two decided to arrange a scheme to pro-
tect his friend.
After two or three attempts the racers
were given the g.. The sorrel took the
lead and kept It half way round. Then
the bay pulled up under whip and both
horses broke. The bay lost by breaking,
but the sorrel quickly got down to action
again, ana came up the nom" S.fctCi
fully three lengths In the lead. They
came within forty yards Of the string,
and it seemed dead open-and-s
thing for the sorrel, but suddenly gong
was heard TO tap loudly right on the side
Of the track, and the sorrel stopped SC
suddenly that he almost threw his dris Ell
from the suky. The bay won the race.
While the sorrel was fast he had no,
forgotten his training as a street-car
horse, and the scheme of the friend OF
the bays owner worked admirably.-At.
Ianta Constitution
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
Hints on Towels.

As to texture or quality, that must be
| question OF taste and means, but II
possible, have generous supply, and of
| good size. One can rub much drcr aft
err bathing with an ample-sized towel
| than with a small, narrow one WIFI
the first cost may be little more for
the large-si7ed ones, they will last long
er and be much more satisfactory In the
| end. 1t will be an economy. too, to buy
them in the winter, as most large stores
have clearing sales" then, when they
can be had at little above wholesale
prices. Then they are more easily
softened and whitened by being hung
out to freeze In the cold weather.
| 1t Is we'll to have roller towels in bath
70 ms and children's rooms, as well as
in the kitchen. They are thus more
easily kept in place. and are moro cvt n
ly soiled than the separate towel. Chill
drcn are very apt to leave 4 towel on tie
floor or washstand or use one instea |
of wash-cloth, but a roller towel is
safe from all such neglect and misuse.
From long experience We find buck
aback toweliI wears longc- than dam
ask or the or mary diaper towcling.
Crash is also desirable. a d, as it comes
In all grades, can be Iii i ei not only
for bath room, but kitchen roller to wells
Russian toweling is a SO desirable as i,
wears VIC |, Is pleasant to the skin, and
with its somewhat rough surface helps
to keep the pores opel.
A hint as 10 dish wells: They arc
to ofte mad of coarse, harsh inc =,
The c, when new, vii! not wipe tho
dishes dry. and after washing are ap'
to retain greasy smell. Time is save
by using those that arc soft AMI sore
what fire. The silv linen, as it i:
called, that barred with b,ue or re /
wears and washes very we'll and leaves
TO lint behind, and we lieve it ,u t,
as economical "a any.-Orangc jude
Farmer
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17

vagantly joyous; but the next day
oh ! but ho is surly and grim, his
stomach and liver arc sluggish, he is
morose, respondent and out Of
sorts )" generally. But no may get
a prompt return for his money by
purchasing DR.. Pierce's Pleasant
Pellets.
There's nothing like them. They
are tiny Liver Pills, sugar-coated,
but thorough in results. One Pellet
is laxative, three to four cathartic.
For Indigestion, Biliousness, and
all arrangements of the Stomach,
Liver and Bowels, they work like a
charm, and you get lasting benefit
and permanent cure.
They're the cheapest Pill, because
safe and sure, while the manufact-
urers guarantee they'll give satisfac-
ton, or your money is returned!
You only pay for the good you
get. Can You ask more?
What's the use suffering any
moro from those dizzy spells, the
headaches and all A.; make the attack
yourself, with ono or two of these
little, Sugar-coated Pellets, and they
will do the rest. They are a perfect
yest-pocket remedy. Purely vcge-
table and perfectly harmless. By
druggists. Is cents a vial.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
DIED IN THE WOODS.
The Skeleton of a Missing Man Found
u Pennsylvania Wilderness.

The Skeleton of Missing Man Found In
Pennsylvania Wilderness.
Last April ten-ycar-old boy named Os-
car Farley was lost In the woods In the Wild
region west OF Gainesville, Pa. A party OF
men spent three days in securing the coun-
try in search of the lost boy, and found him.
barely alive and three miles from homo.
1t was not until the next day that
alarm was manifested over the non-ap-
pearance OF Farley Homes. one of the
searchers and an uncle of the lost boy.
For days another hunt was kept up for the
missing man, but he could not be found.
Recently, two bark peelers discovered the
skeleton Of man in the woods not far
from the spot where the Farley boy had
been found. By fragments of clothing the
remains were identified as those OF Farley
Homes 1t is supposed that he had slipped
and fallen from the rocks while searching
for his nephew. and had either been killed
or SO badly hurt that he died from his IN
juries and exposure
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
WILLIAM EXPECTS WAR.
Germany Simply Waiting for the Word
Sweden and the Dreibund.

Germany Simply Waiting for the Word
Sweden and the Dreibund.
Munich dispatch says that the Kaiser
has conveyed very clearly in high Bavarian
quarters his impression that war is to be
expected and that all Germany should be
prepared. At the same time the Kaiser APP
peared to have no apprehension as to the
result. In addition to notifying the re-
serves the German Government has ordered
careful inspection of horses subject to
call for use in the army, and this order has
been carried out everywhere. In fact, says
a Berlin correspondent, the whole empire
seems on the watch waiting for the word to
be given. AdviceS from Berlin say that
communications have passed between the
German and Swedish cabinets relative to
the attitude of Sweden in the event OF n
European war. The bait held out to attract
the Swedes to the triple alliance is the pros
pect of recovering Finland. King Oscar IS
said to have declared that he would not
enter into any formal agreement. but that
as between Russia and Germany his SYM
pathics would be with the latter power.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
he discovered in his home and fatally
wounded.
HANGING HORROR.
Revolving Scene at the Execution of Louis
Bulling.

Revolving Scene at the Execution of Louis
Bulling.
WIFE murderer Bulling expiated his
crime on the gallows, at Savannah, Mo-.
and his taking off was accompanied by
scenes most shocking. Bulling, by pleading
his untitDess for death. had induced the
Sheriff to postpone the execution from q.
IN. to p. m. He passed the time with the
Rev. Lavake. and just before 3 o'clock the
Sheriff was called to his cell by two pistol
shots. Bulling had unsuccessfully attempt
ed suicide He had not lost consciousness
and the Sheriff ordered four deputies to
carry him to the scaffold. He refused to
stand and they placed him upon chair.
lie cursed and swore at the deputies, cried
and screamed for mercy and shrieked In
terror. Finally he was told to get up and
stand upon the drop. He refused, and four
deputies held him up while the rope was be-
ing adjusted. The black cap was placed
over his head. and yelling. screaming. and
disappearing. he shot through the opening.
His neck was broken by the fall and he
died almost instantly. Tho Rev. Mr..
Lnvake has been arrested for giving Bull
ing the revolver with which he attempted
to commit suicide.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
TRADE STILL BRISK.
Reports from Many Cities Are Encour
ing-The Failures.

Reports from Many Cities Are EncouraG-
ing-The Failures.
+. G. Dun & COS weekly review OF trade
says:
All returns of the condition OF business
are encouraging. From nearly every city
reporting there comes the same cheering
information that business is better and
prospects brighter. ! he Government crop
report is one o. the most favorable ever is
sued. Money Is plentiful for Legitimate trade
The business failures occurring throughout
the country during the asst seven days
mum Der for the United States ls1. and for
Canada %. or n total OF 214. as compared
with IL al OF 217 last week and 2l4 the
week prev ious to the last For the corre-
spond ng eek OF last year tho figures were
1913. representing Is. failures in the United
States and 20 in Cunada.
The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1891-09-17
MAY lie DlSS DEBAR.
Miss Ava and the Notorious Spirit n1etliu
Said to BE One.

Miss Ava and the Notorious Spirit Medium
Said to BE One.
Mss Vera Ava. an English woman OF re-
puted wealth. recently located In Chicago
and engaged In Christian work amtns the
poor In the slums, Lately hhe suddenly
disa appeared, and many are disposed to
believe that she has b,en murdered.
According TO the results thus far Obtained
from the Police Departments investiga-
tion. however, it nov appear, that Miss
:. Vera Ava is none other than the cello
bra;e spirit medium, Spoo,i port RAFT paint
er, nun. actress. burlcsque artist. mission
airy AM general Confidence woman. Nine.
Ana Adcl.a Di's Dcba-. recently Il Boston
and New York. hut a we'll known in Eu-
rope as il this country. Since her disappear
arc, in Chicago she has turned up in Gin
cnnai with 4 story Of wing been abb
Quoted by two Chicago priests. She denies
that she Is DiSs Dcbar.