The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1891-10-29

loI the COOK rTooHlg position tlal WAS very us
agreeable 10 him. so he asked Kearny 20 inter
code for him aud have him returned to duty
with the company. To this Kcarny replied
The difficulty is that Sumner detailed you
himself, aud will not let you oil without some
very good reason. lie iuspects the mess every
day NJ noon. ! think if you put little pot
black on your face and hands he viii probably
order you out Of the cook room"
Downey followed the ad vice. but 10 did not
have the effect he had anticipated. Sumner
threatened him with terrific penalties ifhc ever
caught him in that condition again, but he did
not order him ont.
MhcTGnPon D6wUey went TO keaTny for
fresh advice. The latter said
THAT failed. Ell Well. we must try some
thing else Get watermelon, chop it in small
pieces, and when hs inquiries why You are
doing that, tell him it is TO put in the soup.
Then think he will order you out"
Duwney made his preparations accordingly,
aud tie next day, when Sumner came TO in
spcct. the following diai0g ensucd:
what are you doing there2"
lm cutting up this watermelon, sir?"
for?"
1T is to put in the SOUP. sir"
"Whero are you from2"
Ppm from ould Ireland, sir"
Don't you know better than TO chop up a
"SuTe, it's vegetable soup sir"
Get out Of this e0ok-room, you internal
idiot!"
GOOD DEAL or HUNOR
is sometimes evolved from manuerism in speech.
asked r, noted citizen Of San Antonio,
Tex, if lac knew C, who had been our
sutlcr at Fort Duncan. and who was very
impetuous aud exciIable man. T replied
Il think ] DO remember him. When Santa
Ana captured this place we were both carried
OF as prisoners to Mexico. lie is very irri-
table man. Ny right leg was chained to his
lett leg for two years. Yes, have a distinct
recollection OF him"
] suppose the Hon. Secretary OF War may be
considered part Of the Army, and there
fore venture to relate an anecd0te Of Floyd,
who held that Office az the commencement Of
the war. i must say that had no very good
will toward him. for / was stationed at Forts
Moultrie aud Sumter 40 that time and if he
did not make arrangements to have us all
massacrci, his orders and mode Of procedure
tended to that end. lie WAS a man Of dark
complexion, which he attributed to his alleged
DESCENT FROM PoCAHoNTAs.
lie was very proud Of this lineage, and pro-
claimed il on AL occasions. During the adj
mnistratiJn Of President buchanan a party Of
Sioux warriors were brought to Washington
by the agent ira charge, with view 20 iaduce
them 20 sign a treaty OF some kind. The
Diplomatic Corps having expressed a wish TO
see these strange children Of the forest, Mr.
Buchanan held leYee for that purpose. Some
time after il commenced Secretary Floyd made
his appearance ia evening dress, and was intro
dueed 10 the Sioux rs tho great war-ehef Of
the whites. They walked all around him,
srrutinized him closely, but made no remarks
When this was over Floyd struck an attitude
walked up 10 the head chief. and exclaimed
Ne Indian! Me Pocahoutas!"
The chief looked az him, apparently much
astonished at the statement. He walked around
him again, felt Of his short black curly hair
aud said contemporary
Nav nav Indian! Niger heap niger i"
This was rough on a man who prided himself
on being descended from one Of the First Fami-
lies Of Virginia.
The President. it is said, lay back in his
chair aud laughed for half an hour at the
incident.
! have no donbt our friends in the Navy
could supplement- this article by numerous in
cidents which have occurred in their branch Of
the service. One Of them speaking 10 me Of
strict discipline enforced in the old Navy, re-
ferred TO Commodore Rogers as man who
never admitted any excuse for failing to carry
out an order. Even when IL was impossible 10
execute IL, he would always insist that
THE ATTEMPT MUST BE MADE.
On one occasion when his vessel was an
chored of Smyrna, a warrant officer named
Marshall died aboard ship. Tho Commodore
desired 10 bury him shore, but was afraid
the bigotcd natives might Interfere IN case he
tried 70 do so. While he was cOgitating this
subject two Frenchmen came on board. Tho
Commodore turned 10 one OF the Midshipmen
near and said:
ask these gentlemen If we bury Mr.. Mar
shall on shore if the Turks will take up tho
body"
The Midshipman saluted and replied. 81 do
not speak French, Commodore.
ASK them, sir; Toared the Commodore in a
rage.
The frightened MILDLY turned to the stran-
gers aud said: Isl nous mctteZ old Marshall
lei; pcnsez yous the Turkics come levy her"
"Ahl that will do, sir" said the COmmO-
dore always try 10 obey an order.
Whenever a member Of Congress gains a
| reputation for sarcasm, gery few care to meet
| him ia debate Of personal character. This
was the case with that Incorporating radical.
| Thad Stevens, who did so much for US during
the war. He had no mercy on the Copperhead
element in the House. Once new man from
| Kentucky, who was opposed TO the war, inter
4 rupted him aud said:
Mr. Speaker the gentleman has just quoted
a remark from the distinguished member
from Kentucky. There are good many dis
| tinguished members from Kentucky here, and
| would like to know to which Of them the gen
| tleman refers"
Stevens looked at the man from head to foot
aud replied:
Mr.. Speaker, when say the distinguished
member from Kentucky, everybody in Thu
House knows that do not mean that young
| man."
As Stevens was one of the great leaders o
Mr.. Lincolns Administration, aud as heavy
disabilities weighed,
AT THE CLOSE or THE WAR,
on every one who had been in arms against thu
Government, several SOutherners sought hi
influence to free them from these restrictions
Ii is said that Gen. NJ was one of these ap
plicants, and the following dialog ensued:
4" / believe. General, you are graduate o
West Point?"
:" arm. sir"
you took an oath TO support the Constitu
ton Of the United Stgtes, did you not ."