Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1891-10-23
A NE1euRoRLY CALL.

He-What do you think of the Gov
crnment weather servicee
She-I call it signal failure. -
[ Argosy.
POETRY THAT KINDLEs.
Poet Ito Editor)-What is your opin. !
ion of my summer poetry2
Editor-1t's too light for winter fuel,
but it makes good kindling MATERIAL
New York Journal.
THAT CIRCULATING ENGAGEMENT RING.
Miriam-Horace, you have made a
mistake. You have had H. 8. engraved
in this ring instead of NJ. P.
Horace (sotto voce)-Ding that jewell
er. l told him to file out The initials.
(Aloud.) That jeweler is slightly deaf,
and you know NJ. p. sounds like H. S.
Jewellers Circular.
DONE WITH AN EXPLETIvE.
"You can't get your postage stampto
stick, see2"
II can't, by Jupiterr'
II can do it, by gum"
BRIGHT FOR BESSIE.
Bessie, "sail papa won't you have
q little piece of this chicken2"
''No, thank you," said Bessie.
"What! no chicken2''
"Oh, yes. I'll have the chicken, but I
don't want a little piece. " philadelphia
Record.
THE DIFFERENCE.
On leaden feet the time goes by
AS you wait for her at the pasture
bars;
But oh, how swiftly the moments fly
When you're standing with her under
the stars!
New York Press
A WARM DAY.
Mother-I'm afraid youth catch cold
If you sit in that draught.
Little Boy-But, mamma, I'll catch
hot if l don't.-[G Good News.
HINT AT 10 P. II.
Maud-Do you feel the colda
Chollie-No, why do you aske
Maud-O, don't know. I was just
wondering whether you do or not, as it
is very cold outside.-[Argosy.
IT WOULDN'T DO.
Photographer-Can't you assume .
more pleasant expression than thatG
Just think of your best girl for few
Young Man (sadly)-1t wouldn't do
any good. She refused me about week
ago brooklyn Life.
CROWDED OUT.
81 like this dress very much" said
Ethel. SIT is just too delightfully."-
tight. But where are the pockets?"
Here they are," said the dressmaker,
handing her two small silken bags.
you'll have to carry them in your
hands. There's not room in the dress
for them.-t Harper's Bazaar.
BADrNAaE.
'NIizpsh Say drinks sage tea because
she thinks it will make her WISE"
''Hcr parents should make her drink
gunpowder tea"
''Why soY'
because then she might go off,"
DELIGHTFUL TREATMENT.
$50 you proposed to her. Accepted,
Accepted! Why she treated me
like dog"
ALLOW me to congratulate you, old
fellow. saw how she treated one the
other day, and, BY Jove, how l envied
that dog. "-[New York Sun.
They poster us both night and day;
From their attacks we're seldom free.
The man is happy who can say
Just now: There are no flies on me i"
SIZE PLAYS FOR SMITH.
$50 Smith cut you out with her, did
he2 I would break every bone in his
skin if were you"
"oh, l arm having better revenge
than that" .........
"How?"
"Why, her father has just bought her
n piano and Smith goes to see her three
times week. ~ New York Press.
LACKING THE MOTIVE POWER.
II wonder why the car doesn't start!'
exclaimed an Impatient passenger.
"Ihcre are not enough people on
board yet to make the cargo" replied
another, who understood the situation.
II Truth.
ALL A BOAST.
"Men are not born free in this
country said Willie. ''rhcre amt no
worse bulldozed slave in creation than
my baby brother. p Bazaar.