Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1891-01-21
HOW ILOST Her.

1 was a bachelor, not wealthy, but con.
tented and happy. I am still bachelor,
contented, but not happy. This is the diff
ference between Thomas Growler of a
month ago and the same person to-day.
But one short month ago I thought nothing
of matrimony. smoked my pipe in COM
fort at my lodging (in the city of Canter-
bury) or sewed refractory buttons upon my
clothing without a thought of any female
to take that employment out of my hands.
But was one day seated in the beautiful
grounds of the Dane John, watching the
children drink e at the fountain, when q
shadow fell upon the path. It might have
been the shadow of coming events, but up
on looking around perceived that the sub.
stance was very beautiful young lady,
with roguish blue eyes that might have
been the headquarters of fun and good-hu-
NOR, looking at mo from frame of golden
ringlets.
Now, you must not imagine that /, sober
gentleman of forty, was in love with girl.
Nothing of the kind. She was at least
thirty; and ragged little boy who stood
near, whose tongue I loosered with piece
Of silver, told me that she was widow,
who owned small farm outside the town,
and that her name was Mrs. Faber. He
also Informed me that her brother lived
with her and managed the property.
Upon the following morning I greatly
surprised my friend, Harry Powers, by
praising the Widow Faber and requesting
an introduction. He gazed at me mo
ment in speechless astonishment, and I
think that he really thought of knocking
me down with Webster's Dictionary and
calling for assistance. But Harry was en-
gagged himself ana soon oomprehended the
state of affairs. So he dropped the book
upon the table and invited me to a picnic
which was to take place in the woods in
few days, where should meet the lady and
be introduced.
Immediately purchased new suit of
clothes, beautiful wig and pair of tight
boots, and when the morning of the festival
dawned, crowded myself into the broad
cloth, put on my wig and after much pre-
paration and strong language had been
wasted, managed to squeeze my feet into
the patent feathers, where they felt as if
incased in red hot iron boots.
At the picnic l received the promised in
PRODUCTION, and had the pleasure of escort
ing Agnes all day. She talked with me,
and we attacked the eatables in company,
investigating the interior of pigeon.pies
and dissecting chickens together. I was
happy all day, and when at parting she in
vited me to visit her, believe the tight
ness of my waistcoat was all that preyented
my heart from bursting its bonds. My feet
prevented me from sleeping that night; but
I was willing to suffer in such cause, and
I bore it without murmur.
One day hired a horse and gig at the
livery stables and started towards the farm
to carry Agnes to party at a ne,ghboring
town. She was already dressed when I
drove ap, aud looked beautiful in new
bonnet and shawl. We were very comfort
able and our conversation was very inter-
esting. was advancing rapidly in her
good opinion and was beginning to think
seriously of popping the question, when the
rse stopped suddenly as if turned to
ward with a low bow, and my companions
the dashboard.
l Immediately jumped out to see what
was the matter, but everything about the
horse appeared to be all right, and l again
climbed into the gig and prepared to start.
But the horse obstinately refused to move.
I coaxed and flattered, but he would dot be
persuaded. l thrashed him with the whip
until my wrist ached, but he remained i'm
movable as statue. At last sharpened
a hedge stake, took my seat, gave the reins
to my companion and gave him a tremen-
dous blow. I hardly hoped to see him stir,
but be did, and started with a leap that al
most threw me on my back. l Immediate
iy seized the reins, but bis determination
had taken another channel, and he would
not stop. tugged at the reins and shout
ed, "WhoaP' bls be held the bit between
his teeth and rushed along the road like a
runaway comet.
Agnes screamed and roared az we dash.
ed by the farm. houses with the speed of a
locomotive. The horses heels spliutered
! the dashboard at every leap, and the bright
shoes twinkled like small stars in danger
GUS proximity to our eyes. Finally the
\ wheels struck tree, the horse stumbled
and the next moment Sas lying upon my
back in the road.
\ Feeling like IN exhausted bellows I re-
gained ny breath and picked myself uI
after a while. But what situation! Agnes
lying upon the grass, with torn clothing
and disordered haiI; while her chignon was
| rollizg along the pathway pursued by 8
terrier. The horse stood quite still ano
gazsd calmly upon the ruins. 1 was with
out hat, covered with dust. The boys
shouted boisterously, and the company, who
perceived that ws were uuipjured, laughed
/ could have jumped into the river, to hide
myself, and l entertained serious ideas O
runniog away. but thought better of il
and assisted Agnes to arise
1t cost me heavy sum for the wrecked
gig. I was scratched and discouraged
Agnes had turned the cold shoulder and
was in despair, but wrote her letter ex
planning matters and begging to be agail
taken into favor. was overjoyed to re
ceive an encouraging reply. She fofgav,
ma and would not give me up, but hsr bro
/ ther was very angry aud wooid act persni