Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-04-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

In times of financial panic, even words
fail.
Did they write Hog Latin with a pig
pens
A domestic tyrant-Gcncral House
work.
A reliable trade mark Hardened
hands.
APPLY namcd-The "Cornerstone". of
the Stock Exchange.-Puck.
Beauty is but skin deep, and frequently
it hardly gets below the powder.
sJay Gould is very silent man."
"Yes, but then, you know, his money
talks"
can phwy d. yees cahl yer stove an
Iniun range, Pat" "Faix, beca'se it's
good hater. ."-Puck
Why are colts like rich mems sonsa
Because they won't work until they are
broke. -PittSbury Dispatch.
Let who will make the country's laws,
Yea, e'en her ballads, grave or funny;
Here most of us would serve her cause,
Content in helping make her money.
Life.
You can't tell how valuable girls
affections are until you are sued for
blighting a set of m.-Martha's Vine
gard Herald.
Student--"Did Stanley dicover the
African Pygmies, do you gather" Pro-
fessor di Gamma-"Yes; he and He
rodotusr r"-Puck.
A boss of street laborers is looking
around for that s'tine Italian hand" that
he has read about. and offers to make
him foreman.
''Where are you going, my pretty maidf"
s'Tm going to catch me a man." she said.
"Cast me your bait, my pretty maid"
t'I'm fishing, sir, for man" she said.
-Nei0 York Sun.
Grin-"See dog fight2" Barit-
"No; the dogs only stood off and yelped
at each other" Grin--"Ah, a bark
mill, as you might say."-Bufalo E'r-
press.
Good: Professor to one of his pupils
-"When Alexander was as old as you,
he had already conquered the world. /"
"But you said he had Aristotle for his
ttdCucEs - tttycftuc 1NNeetef'
Cumso-'sThey say Brown has very
poor memory for faces" Banks-"And
he has. Why, the other day he looked
into the mirror and asked his wife>whose
reflection it was he saw. Busy Bee.
The head and the heart in the game Of love,
Must play its separate part;
But we'il pardon a girl cold in the head,
So longs she's not cold in the heart.
philadelphia Times.
"Don't you ever go to see comediesf"
inquired Miss Laura. "No," said Miss
Irene. daughter produces wrinkles. !"
And Miss Irene went on reading the
"Editor's Drawer" in Harper's.
cago Tribune.
know that by my boot straps now
can not lifted be;
But once little red-topped pair,
Which first in boyhood did wear,
Much elevated mel
Puck
al am quite pleased with my son-in-
law" said old Mrs. Pickahaw. "MY IN
fuence over him is great. Ever since l
have been at his house he has staid down
town at work until 10 and IL o'clock at
night. --Ncw York Herald.
Wife-.'You don't tell me that Pro-
fessor A. has been struck dumb2" Hus-
band--"Yes, last night. And he was
master of seven languages" Wlfe-"Is
it possible. And was he struck dumb in
all seventh Teas SJtings.
Cholly---''Heah about Chappiea Sup
posed to be dead, you know, but came to
life in his coffin. Queeah, vewy queeah. !"
Dolly---"Aw, not so vewy queeah. They
had put the deah boy into an American
made, shwoud, don't you know. "---
Indianapolis Journal.
An unfortunate man has obtained
access to rich Baron Rapineal. He de-
picts his misfortunes, his misery, in so
moving a manner that the Baron, with
tears in his eyes and his voice choked
with sobs, calls to his servant: 'Jeanl
Put this poor fellow out into the street
He is breaking my hesrtl"---Paris Figaro.