Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-07-28
run DOWN THE CARPET
Nh AND MRS. BOwSER AND THzIR HOUSE
KEEPING TRIALS
M. 3 Wss Sure BE Was the Only Man in the
Country Who Could Properly Put Down
New oArpss-Aiisr Terrific Struggle
He Finally Abandoned the
Field to Mrs. B.



"Did, eh?" Just week since you
picked it cut, isn't it2"
"Only four days"
"Curious how everybody takes ad-
vantage OF you. They wouldn't have
dared fool with me that wayi'
"That-that carpet isn't down yet"
''There's another specimen Of your
style of running things! The Internal
falsiders agreed to be here two months
agol'
"Oh, no. dear. They said some time
this week"
''And they'll fool around till Septem-
Der! Mrs. Bowser, don't want to find
fault with You, but I do wish you knew
more about business. You let every
body walk on you as II you were worm
Of the earth"
''But can l bring the men up here?"
she protested.
Glow is it that everything 1 order
gets here on the minute! Because, Mrs.
BOwser, do business in a business way.
If should let you have full swing here,
where do you suppose we'd land at the
end of six months However. will
show those carpet men that they can't
fool with Jonas J. BOwser, no matter
what excuse they can palm off on his
wife. I'll slip up and put the carpet
down in about seven minutes"
''You-you don't MEANT" she gasped.
Certainly, do. l don't care about
saving a dollar or two, but 1 propose to
assert my independence. Where's the
hammer"
II wish you wouldn't. A carpet has
got to be nicely put down."
Exactly. I have seen one or two
carpets in my lifel Where's the tackS?"
"But, I know how it will end" she
persisted you'll get tired out, get
mad, and them
''And then, what?'
"But, remember, il is against my
wishes. II anything happens don't
blame me-"
'When did l ever blame you? When
did anything ever happen?'
She gave il up, and be removed his
coat, vest, necktie and collar and diSap-
peared up stairs. The carpet lay in
heap on the floor, and he unrolled 1t,
pushed up his sleeves and was about TO
begin work when Mrs. BOwSer opened
the door and observed:
II don't see how you are to get IL
down without a stretcher."
"Perhaps not. There are a great
many things in this world for you aud
every other wife 10 learn, Mrs. Bow
ser"
She retired and two minutes later
heard the sound of the tack hammer.
She stood it for five or six minutes, and
then went Up and looked In on him
again. he had got the carpet tackled
along one side, but she called out:
"Why, you are lacking that carpet
on the bare floor! There's the lining
onthe wlndowsiul You'd have made
nice Job OF it, wouldn't you"
he couldn't crawl out OF it, and he
contented himself with rising and point
ing sterniy towards the door. She
went out, but listened and heard the
ripl rip. zip! as be pulled up his work.
il was Quarter of an hour before she
dared enter again, and then it was In
response "a. a veil which made the cook
drop seven plates and the dog howl
moprnfully.
"W-what IS it?" she gasped, as she
rushed ia 10 find Mr.. Bowser standing
on one leg against the wall.
What is what?'
"Why, you who0ped like an Indian.
Your face is as red as fire, and some
things happened
Mrs. BOwser. I am not in the habit
Of whOoping." he sternly replied, land
nothing has happened. When l want
your valuable services I'll call TO you.
The exclamation you heard probably
came from some one in balloon pass
ing over the house,
he had hammered away for about ten
minutes when she looked in on him
again. He had three sides of the car
net down and was tacking the fourth.
Just as she reached the head OF the
stairs he rolled backward out of the
bedroom door with suppressed yellan
great crash.
"What on earth are you trying to do,
Mr.. BowSer?" she asked.
"You mp here again." ne shouted in
reply. Didn't l tell you to go down
stairs and stay there? Does ii take 40
coo. 900 people to put down one con-
founded old carpet?'
''But can't l help?"
'No, you can't help! I'll put the
thing down alone or pull the side OF the
bonse down! No wonder the carpet
men dasn't come up here TO lay it! They
cut il q foot too short on this side and a
foot too long on the other! Lemme
catch 'em around the house and IIl!-
What's the matter nOw?'
otis cot 10 be turned arOundw You
are trying to ht IL the wrong way!"
''NO, ANTI"
"Why, of course you are. It's exactly
a ft the other wayl told you not to
do IL. knew you'd
'sNrs. Bowser," he began, as he
crossed his hands behind his back and
gazed at her with benign expression,
do run this house or do yOu?'
"VYell, 1 suppose you do"
every well. When man was created
tbe idea was that he should run the
house. That's how he came to know so
much more than woman. II l am not
competent. however, you have put
down fifteen or twenty million carpets,
and I never saw one in my life, why,
von'd better finish this job and ask the
court TO appoint 3 guardian over met
"Hsdn't you better wait till morning
to finish TIP"
mot 0y jug lult4 II PUs e1 Wv
If II kills me stone dead!
He banged the door after her as she
went out, and when he grabbed hold OF
the carpet and ripped it up it seemed as
II the house lifted up foot or more.
"Darn ye, I'll wallOp ye to rags TO
nav for thisr' she heard him growl as
She listened at the door.
He whirled the carpet around the
right way, upset his saucer OF tackS
and punched the lining all up in heap