Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-06-21
SELECTING A HUSBAND.
Advice to Young Women on This Point,
with Suggestions to Wives.
To ble Editor Of Ae Dispatch:

10 Ule fLuHOT OF ott DtopNVNt'
With such women in the field OF writer's
as Marion Harland, Mrs. S. A. People. and
many Others who are so much more capa-
bic of advising than myself. feel that 1T
is bold venture for one of such limited
knowledge as mine to attempt the task OF
giving counsel to young ladies who con-
template matrimony.
First. the characteristics of man should
be carefully considered. Morality, So
briefly, and industry should figure con-
spicnously in his general makeup. Marry
mean, however, the man who has his
way in all things or domineerlng man Is
one of strong character. You must mea-
sure a mans strength by his power
of self-control. Quietness and COM
posure are often strength. Marry a
God-fearing man--one who goes to
church to hear sermons, not one who
stands on the outside to gaze at and labber
about the girls. Beware of men who hang
around hotels and pleasure-resorts on the
Sabbath, and who spend most OF their
money ia frolicing on Sundays. Such men
cannot be endorsed as suitable catches.
There are some young men who would pay
$50 for one suit of clothes and take the
entire year to pay for the one outfit, at
the same time depending on the scant
earnings of their aged parents for support.
Beware of such.
AN HONEST VOCATION,
Marry man who follows an honest vo-
cation. The young man who eats the
bread of idleDess is poor chance" Don't
marry man who is too soft or one who
will lie about his financial condition, Re-
member unless you first respect O man you
can never have very much love for him.
Marry man who ls not afraid to tell you
how and where his money is spent, and one
who don't expe OF you to make hve dollars
do the work of ten
There are women who, If they had the
money to spend on their home and chill
dren that is spent by their husbands in
restaurants with friends, would be con-
sidered excellent managers. Some men
think if they give their families house TO
live in and money to keep it going that
that is sufficient TO bring happiness. The
wife is left every evening to spend
her time in loneliness after worrying
all day with the cares of household duties
and the training of the children. In doing
this man but makes housekeeper or
eoyerness of the wife, not q companion.
Having house to live in and money to
keep II going is not having a home and
happiness.
RESPECT AND CONFIDENCE.
The wife must have the husbands afec-
ton, as we'll as must the husband have the
wife's respect and confidence. Marry
yorr equal and if possible marry above
your station in life, never beneath 1t. Aim
to get a congenial companion and make
yourself companlOnable TO your husband.
Some women never interest themselves
enough in their husbands affairs to under
stand or sympathize with his business
difficulties. Be guided against disparity
of ages.
There are men who are so very prudent
and have such absurd ideas of the expense
of married life that they feel that they
can never afford to marry, still If such
man meets with friend who will grasp
his hand, call him old fellow" enquire
after the health of his family whether he
has a family or not), this generous-hearted
"old fellow" will thrust his hands into
his pockets and pay the most exorbitant
prices for smokes and drinks. That man
should marry If for no other reason than
TO get some one to take care OF what ne
makes.
Marry man with good habits and good
health. Some men die old men at thirty ;
others are healthy and iovial at sixty.
MARRY A RESPECTED MAN.
Marry q man who is respected amongst
his business acquaintance and men gen.
orally. Notice his department towards his
mother and SISTERS. If he is kind and at
fectionate to them you may be sure that he
will make a good husband. Prove your
self worthy of q good husband and do as
much TO hold his love and admiration as
YOU did to win il. Don't expect to get
perfect man when you marry, for no angel
has ever vet been pictured as having hair
cut short and pants on. Still there are
lust as many good men in this world as
there arc good women. AGNES LLOYD.
Richmond. Va. June IA, 1891.