davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

MEANT FOR MERRIMENr.


What to do to obtain whit, hands
Nothing-Judy.
Gently Expressed--"Wai alter, please take
this cheese away again. IL is too unONsy
for me "--Fliegende Blaetter.
JaclS-'I wonder why fishes can't talk !;
some birds do {" 'Tom-"My dear fellow,
did you never hear OF whale spoutingf"
Baltimore American.
"Minister-'Tommy IL a bad boy
should dare you to, would you knock the
chip off his shoulder" Tommy-''No
I'd knock the head often his shoulder. -
Kate Fields Washington.
Race street little girl whose pet cat
was in such rnge that its tail grew large
and bushy exclaimed, "Oh, mamma,
wouldn't that be grand to clean lamp
chimneysr '-Philadelph Record.
"Why don't you workP' said char
liable lady TO tramp II would if | had
tools, num-" said tho tramp What
sort of tools do you requires" GA knife
and fork if you please, mum "-Drake' 5
Magazine.
Laura-"Won't you get me novel
while you are down town to-day, papafn
Mr.. Figg-''If do not forget it, Shall /
or something you would preferP'--Indian-
apolis Journal.
''Do you think that Mr.. Barlow is seri-
Gus, AliceW questioned the fond mother.
II think he must be- replied the girl,
''he even laughs at Tommy's FRANKS and
always listens TO papas war stories -
New York Herald.
Jeweler-'I have good second hand
watch here j can sell you" Customer
"But don't want second hand watch y
Joweler-"But there are no watches made
now without second hands. Smith
Gray a. Co. 5 Monthly.
A new waitress in certain family as
tonished the members thereof by bursting
into song the first time that she waited
upon them at dinner. When her mistress
spoke 10 her about it she said why, wa
l singing Well, | often do when fee
happy "-Boston Transcript.
Pretty tough State you live in, ism
itl Met a man to-day who said be hac
Travelled all through it and never saw Sc
much as stack of hay or good corn
field Crops failingl" Kansan (warmly)
Hes a liar" The jester-"Oh. NJ, he
isn't; he's blind man."-Denver Re
publican.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
COUNTRY NEWSPAPERS.
Editors Accuse Each Other OF Black
Mail and Are Unpopular


Mail and Are Unpopular.
Although country editors are nearly
always poor there are plenty of per-
sons who believe that half the para
graphs in n country newspaper are
paid for with enormous brides.
There are always two sides To every
question, and whichever side an editor
falls on. the partizans of the other ac-
cuse him of being bought. Ii is
little wonder. therefore. that the edit
or is seldom n popular man; ! never
knew one who was. and | never knew
one who was not often accused UNI
justly. Probably the people believe
in brides to editors because il is n
very rare editor who does not accuse
his opponent of being "A bribe-taker,
creating n prejudice against them
selves and their calling. Lazy and in
competent editors nearly always eX-
plain the success of their more vigor-
Gus opponents by declaring that they
carry on n system OF black mail. |
once visited a large city the newspap-
ers of which | had long admired al
most with reverence, and | was sur
prised TO hear citizen say that what
the city really needed was better pap
ers; they would bring eastern cap
ital" Every citizen of country
town wants his locality doomed, TO
the end that he may sell his tiftydol-
lar lot for five hundred; he can appre-
ciate how really good paper might
aid him in this. and because his lot
does not advance in value as he thinks
1t should. he has IA grievance against
the editor. He longs for an editor
with some snap in him. | don't
know what snap means, but | know
this is the quality usually thought to be
lacking. There are more great men
in every country town than really
exist IN the nation, and if they are
not recognized. the local papers are OF
no account. | was once bothered a
good dea! by certain man who said
he could clean more chickens in an
hour than any other chicken-cleaner
in the world and he wanted the fact
mentioned. Men who are never sus-
pected of greatness by other people
accuse themselves OF ii TO the editors,
aud when they refuse TO mention this
greatness, they are told that their col
umus contain "A great deal OF stuff not
half so interesting 1t has occurred to
me that when citizen Of country
town becomes drunk, the first thing
he does is TO hunt up the editor TO tell
him what is the matter with the COM
munitV
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
4 roman scho can see
c oPva,Crr iea,

A roman scIo can sec.
She's the woman who gets well.
It's the woman who aoont see and
won't believe who has TO suffer.
And it's needless. There's
medicinal legitimate medicine
that's made TO stop woran's suf-
fering and cure woman's ailments.
It's DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton. It's purely veget able and
perfectly harmless "a powerful
general, as well as uterine, tonic
and nervine, imparting ,;gor and
strength to the whole system. For
periodical pains, weak back, bearing
down sensations, nervous prostra-
ton, and all "fcmale complaints"
it's positive remedy. 1t improves
digestion, enrichcs the blood, dispcls
aches and pains, melancholy and
nervousness, brings refreshing sleep,
and restores health and strength.
No other medicine for women is
guaranteed, as this is. If it fails to
give satisfaction, in any case, tbA
money paid for it is refunded. You
pay only for the good you get. On
these terms it's the cheapest.
But more than that. it's the best
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
Vaccination Statistics.

IN Riga city OF $50. 900 inhabit-
ants there were some g. 800 belonging
TO a religious sect living by themselves
in certain quarter OF the town. These
people opposed the practice of vaccina-
tion on conscientious grounds. Be
tween the years 1882 and 1887 the
average mortality from smallpox in
the city was los annually. From De-
cember, 1886. to the end OF March.
1887, about four months. there were
1916 deaths from this cause owing TO
a slight epidemic during that period.
or this number II occurred among the
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on The Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. ANY reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SIN FRANCISCO. CA.
INWovf''~ ~ rev YOPK nv
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

orthodox population, equal to 100 per
10. 900. while the deaths among the
remaining inhab't ants numbered only
81. equal to A = per 0,000. Down TO
the year 1887. as stated above. the
average number OF deaths annually
from smallpox was lOS. After this
epidemic vaccination and revaccina-
ton were largely enforced, with the
result that from los the annual number
OF deaths due to this disease fell at
once to 3. -Chicago News.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
NOT WELL KNOWN.
Finland's longest day has 2l1f hour

Finland's longest day has 2l = hours.
In all their wars the British have won
the splendid average of So per cent of the
battles.
The salmon catch this year is expected
to be the largest in the history Of the
country.
Three thrones in Europe are now occu-
pied 10y children-those of Spain, the
Netherlands and Servia.
Harvard college is 255 years old and
has graduated 1000 students. A little
moro than half of them are living.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Syrup"

The majority Of well-read phys
icians now believe that Consump-
ton is a germ disease. In other
words, instead of being in the con-
stitution itself it is caused by innu-
merable small creatures living i'll the
lungs having no business there and
eating them away as caterpillars do
the leaves of trees.
A Germ The phlegn that is
coughed up is those
Disease. parts of the lungs
whic h have been
gnawed off and destroyed. These
little bacilli, as the germs are called,
are too small to be seen with the
naked eye, but they are very much
alive Just the same, and enter the
BODY in our food, in the air we
breathe, and through the pores OF
the skin. Thence they get into the
blood and finally arrive at the lungs
where they fasten and increase with
frightful rapidity. Then German
Syrup comes in, loosens them, kills
them, expells them, heals the places
they leave, and so nourish and
soothe that, in q short time consump-
tives ho~~-''o oro-'-'- ~~OoF and well. q
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
James Russell Loweii-ln Memoriam.

From purest wells of English undefled
None deeper drank than be, the New
World child
Who, in the language of their farm fields,
spo6e
The wit and wisdom OF New England folk,
Shaming a monstrous wrong; the world
wide laugh
Provoked thereby might well have shaken
half
The walls of slavery down ere yet the ball
And mine of battle overthrow them all.
John G.. Whittier
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
We are Travellers.

Statistics show the American to be
the greatest traveller The record of
railway trips taken by each national
lty gives the following proportion:
Americans, 81; English, 49, Belgian,
IL; French. 3; Turks, Swiss and ltal-
ians. ! each
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
The Only One Ever Printed--Can Xou
Find the word.

There is n 3-inch display advertisement
In this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one word. The same
is true OF each new one appearing each
week. from the Or. Ilarter Medicine 60.
This house pla es "A Crescent on every
thing they make and publish. Look for it,
send them the name OF the word. and they
will return you Book, BEAUTIFUL LITHO-
GRAPHS OK SAMPLES FREE.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

1T is not madness that utter. bring me
to the test" | have said and ! am pre-
pared to stick To IT, that this suffering
word need no longer sigh with pain. since
IL Is so well known that salvation Oil, kills
IL, without any trouble.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

This Is To certify that / have used Dir.
Bulls Cough syrup In case OF bad cod
and severe cough and found relief and cure,
and cheerfully recommend IL To any ons
suffering from the effects OF cold.
WM. l.. FRAZER, SO Barron St., n. Y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

When che was a Child, she cried for Castoris,
When she became Miss, she chung to Csstoria,
When she had Children she gave them casteria
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

A Frenchman has recently discovered
near Thebes. In Egypt. n large grave con-
tanning 40 sarcophagi. the oldest Of which
dates back $500 years Il. &.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

The Maine debating society is now wrest-
ling with the question, "ls a Sabbath school
superin endent justified in wearing red
uecktiet"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Sir Edwin Arnold Is an absent minded
man and S somewhat neg igent OF his attire.
lie has "A mild eye, "A calm face and gon-
eral air Of indflerenco.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

EITS.-All Fits stopped free by DIR, kLlNk's GREAT
Nerve Restorer. No lit after nrstday use. Mar
felous Treatise and s. 90 trial "otte free TO
Fit cases. Send 10 DIR. kline93l Arch St. Phila, Ia
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

The annual report OF the New York state
board of health shows that 5000 people
died of the grip in that state curing the
year 1899.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Turkish teas are the new sensation in
Washington. The society girls appear in
Turkish costumes, and the decorations are
all Turkish.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

REV. II. p. CARSON. Scotland Oak. says:
Two bottles OF Halls Catauh cure completely
cured my little girl" Sold by Druggists, Zoe.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

a 1i-year-old boy OF Marine City, has de-
yeloped into mesmerst and is making his
fellow townspeople the sub ects of his Will.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

massachusetts, has no navy, but the con
stitution of that state makes Admiral WIl-
liam T.. Russell commander-in chief of it.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

what best suits MS. Free Trade or Protection,
Is NJ present the universal theme,
Allow me pray TO make a suggestion,
For a headache always use Coaline.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Beards are out IA la Ruzze in Paris, which
Is squaI and ragged.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
The Use Of Opium

Is not "A habit BUT A DISEASE. why, and
How Cured" sent FREQ Address II. l.. kRA-
MER, Secretary. Indiana Mineral Springs,
Iud.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Majors Cement Repairs Broken Articles
loo and 25c Majors Leather aud Rubber Cement l5c
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

The rag pickers OF Paris collect about
SlO, 900 worth night.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Dog owners should send for pamphlet ON
canine diseases. Spratts Patent, New York city.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Butter is sold by the yard at Cambridge,
Eng.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

"Han-On's Magic Cora ~uIvc."
Narra' ted TO cure, or money refunded. Ask
your Druggist for u. Price 10 cents.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

EN-Kng Milan is n resident OF Paris, hav-
ing taken a house On the avenue OF the Bots
de Boulosue. lie is very popular in Pars
society.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

students yet good pay after Shorthand
course at Chnnee's College, Oswego, y. y
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

An immense 2oO-tor piece OF granite
which will dre,s 10 n pillar six feet in
diameter by - feet ny has recently been
Cuarried near Petersburg. Va.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

Prince George, of Wales, will be made "a
duke.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

the leaves Of trees.
The phlegm that is
coughed up is those
parts of the lungs
w hi c II II ave been
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

nnIIIaH MORPHINE DISEASE GUARANTEED CrRR
ElDl[ HUI without pain. TRIAL TREATMENT FKEE
vi tCsstH. J.. kRArFr, SErRErAGY COX >,
-..---------IND!ANA MINERAL SPRING ND
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

fbhg r. e INSTANT RELIEF. Cure i'm Is
REp " 20 days. Never returns No purge. no
en On ~ salve uosuppository. Remedy Mailed
EREE AdcressJ II. REV e., Box o2,J y. Y. CITY.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09

If amjc ed with
sore eyes, Is1
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-10-09
Thompson's Eye Water.

WhculunTflE send TO the State Board OF
gtHONtWu Uta Trade, CATTLE, fora true
tstemeut of the states sources OF wealth.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14
PATRONIZE THE OPPOSITION

This morning at eight O'Clock the Reg
ulator left on her first business trip to
the Cascade Locks. The day marks the
beginning of new era. A few days
more and we shall have through connec-
ton with Portland. Eight car loads of
the rolling stock of the portage railroad
have already arrived at the Cascades and
the locomotive has been on the way since
the 4th inst. The city of The Dalles, on
the lower river, will be ready for busi-
ness by the end of this week and some
time the week after, the entire route
from The Dalles to Portland should be
open for traffic. Every pound of freight
that the farmers and merch ints, contig-
uous to The Dalles, have for shipment,
ought to be sent by the new line, and
passengers should patronize it in pref
erence to the opposition. 1t is in every
way safer than by rail, and the boats
will not fall far short of railroad speed,
besides that n trip by water is much
pleasanter than by land. The old COM
pany has so long held us by the throat
while it robbed us that we owe it moth
ing and the man who does not, by every
honorable means, encourage and patron
ize a line whose existence will put thous-
ands of dollars in the pockets of con-
sumers is not worthy of American citi-
ZenshiD
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14
Adam Forepaugh Shows.

From the way in which this city and
country are covered with the artistic pic
torial paper of the Adam Forepaugh
Shows, it seems like carrying Goals 10
Newcastle - to say that the great shows
now on their 2Sth annual tour will ex-
hibit at The Dalles, one performance
only, Wednesday afternoon, September
Is, in all their regal magnifcence.
The Adam Forepaugh shows are well
known as the oldest, largest and richest
of all exhibitions. This year with three
discusses, huge menageries, real Roman
hippodrome, new Wild West, and ia
nous foreign features, it eclipses its for
mer self. Probably the greatest feature
of this season is Colonel Edgar Daniel
Boone and Miss Millie Carlotta, the Gel
ebrated European lion-tamers, who will
exhibit five forest-bred lions in steel
encircled ring. The lions will be har-
messed to and draw chariot, they will
play see-saw with a great German boar
hound named Saxon" they will form
tableaux, ride tricycles, and do many
other astonishing thing things while
loose in the ring.
The famous Hanlon-Volters appear for
the first time under canvas with the
Adam Forepaugh shows this year.
These remarkable artists viii do double
somersaults high in the ambient air,
from swayingbar to swaying-bar, fully
sixty feet apart. Owing to the height Of
the rigging and length of the leaps, the
acts cannot be done under a roof because
there are not more than two or three
buildings in the country large enough.
In fact, the great waterproof tents of the
Auam Forepaugh shows are the only cir
Gus canvases large enough. The act is
entirely new and extremely hazardous
There are more than 200 artists in the
triple circus. Twenty female bareback
riders, twenty-five male bareback riders,
and in short, actors and acts of all kinds.
In the hippodrome more races are given
by intrepid riders and fiery steeds than
III any other shows, Roman standing
races, Roman chariot races, modern
running and trottiiig, mule and donkey,
monkey and pony. elephant and camel,
Dag, Wheelbarrow, man VS.. horse, and
many other races.
The Wild west is composed of great
number OF Indians, scouts, cowboys,
pathfinders, Indian fighters, Indian
squaws and papooses, led by Capt. A. II.
Bogardus and his sons, champion shots
of the world. All kinds of Wild West
scenes, historical, romantic and comical
are portrayed, the ghost dance, hanging
a horse-thief, Custer battle, etc.
In the menagerie will be found one or
more of every species known to Zoology,
more cagefulls of animals than some
shows have single ones. Adam Fore
paugh, Jr., will present a huge herd of
SOC, 900 trained and dancing elephants,
and highly trained stations, bronchos
and dogs. The entire shows will sur
pass any exhibition ever given In such
way as to defy comparison.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14
AWAY WITH THEM.

Pinkertonism has put the crown on
its work of infamy in Washington by
the altogether lawless and reckless ar
rest and abduction of two citizens of
Seattle, and the press of the state is
thoroughly aroused and unanimous in
demanding that an end be put to the
dangerous operations of this class of so
called detectives. The sentiment of the
people, not alone of Washington but of
the whole nation is opposed to the exist
ence of body of brutal hirelings whose
very business and occupation are me-
mace to the freedom of the citizen. Did
they confne themselves to the legitimate
work of hunting down wrong doers and
detecting crime, no fault would be found,
but when these relies of barbarous age
make it profession to sell themselves
to those who are rich enough to be able
to purchase their services, in order to
enforce, under thin cloak of law, at
the muscle of the rifle, the harsh DEGREES
OF some heartless oppressor, it is time
that the ttful storms that labor has Of
ten raised against them should swell into
a tempest that shall wipe tn IN out of
existence. *
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14

The Milton Eagle has formulated an
excellent plan for meeting the expenses
of sending home the thousands of China
men who are constantly smuggling
themselves into this country in violation
of the law. The Eagle thinks if the gov
ernment is going into the pawnbrooking
and saloon business, as proposed in the
Ohio Third party platform, it ought GER
tainly to start federal laundry and
when surreptitions Cinnamon is caught,
make him first work out his passage
and then ship him to China.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14


The dispatches inform us that U. S.
Hall. ex ex-presldent of the Farmers Al
lance, is in St. Louis perfecting arrange
ments for the National Anti-sub-Treas-
'ury and Anti-third Party convention
which will meet in St. Louis tomorrow
Hall expects the convention to be the
largest representative gathering of farm
ers ever held in this country, but while
the movement is significant, as showing
that the farmers are getting their eyes
open to the utter impracticability of the
sub-treasury and land loan schemes of
the third party. it is quite possible Mr..
Hall is oversanguine in his estimation.
Nor is it of any great Importance. These
schemes are bound to die a natural death
any way, and if Mr.. Halls estimates
should turn out to be true it would only
prove that their demise came sooner than
was expected. The country will never
see the day when the government will
go into the business of loaning money
on farm or any other kind of produce
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14

$25O0 will be raised, in addition to num-
erous private contributions of various
kinds and the proceeds of the benefit at
Carday's theatre tomorrow night, for
which tickets are said to be selling very
rapidly. Mayor Mason has been very
active in the cause of The Dalles people
and has even requested the police to sell
tickets, and as these gentlemen are said
to be possessed of good hustling qualities
it is expected that very few will remain
unsold, of the great number placed in
their hands.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14
Health is Wealth !!

DR.. E. C. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREAT
MENT, guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi-
ness, Commissions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De-
preston, Softening of the Brain, resulting in in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat-
abuse or over Indulgence. Each box contains
one months treatment. $1.O0 box, or six boxes
for $780, sent by mail prepaid receipt of price.
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received by
US for six boxes, accompanied by $500, we viii
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re-
fund the money If the treatment does not effect
cure. Guarantees issued only by
- IBLAKELEY & HOUGHTON,
Prescription Druggists,
175 Second st. The Dalles, Or.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-09-14

1t is rumored that Mr.. Parnell intends,
in the near future, to visit the United
States to see what can be done 10 reor-
ganize the broken ranks of his party on
this side the Atlantic. The cool recep-
ton his last emissaries met here would
indicate that he may just as well stay at
home. Parnell has undoubtedly lost his
grip on the Irish people and the best
thing he can do is to take Kitty to some
quiet corner of the earth, away from
the busy haunts of men and-both of
them stay there.