Telegram-herald., 1891-09-08
etAINs's SEVERE PAINS.
The Oaiy csrrses Ptetars Of The Dove
Esst fasaiid-

store, On the twelfth floor Of his resi-
sience He paused IA his task OF Elix-
ing antiseptie ills as | entered, and
asked me % sit down A medical at
las lay on the table in front OF the
Secretary Of State, and in a cabinet
at his elbow were jars filled with
choice anatomical specimens.
Il see you are not dead yet, began
airiiy, and MIR. Blaine tried 10 smile,
but was evidently oyertaken by pain
in the neck, FOR he wheEzed violently
and fslmbled nervously about In a
drawer OF the table Ia search OF fly
blister. While thus occupied l went
on as follows.
1T Is bruited abroad, Mr.. Blaine.
that you have fatty deAAeration OF
the appetite IN the worst way. Now.
Il you have. can | see it:''
The Secretary took the pink cotton
from his ears in order To fully catch
all / Rad 10 say. \ noise like the
Funning-d0wn oi an eight-day clock
broke upon the air.
That said Mr.. Blaine, noting my
surprise, lis my heart revolving on
the artificial pivot recently inserted by
my physician. Don't be alarmed. 1t
y
About the fatty degeneration of the
appetite: I viii confess that l have
| that complaint just now, but it il
| not on view
Tife Secrerary's voice appeared to
come from the next room. It's old
eighteefl-carat ring was not in IL.
..Ah.- rejodned Then let us go
| ON 10 the next affection. Why do
you wear your feet IN hot water in
| this sultry weather? Do you prefer
it to slippers
My boy" said Mr.. Blaine, empty
| ing tin OF mustard into his foot
| tub, those feet OF nsne are so somno-
lent THAI / have to irritate them con-
| tinuaiiy TO keep them awake. They
have got so that they won't notice
i1It - ssiEfast gong, and keep on sleep
ing till nearly noontime. It's ter
rible nuisance 10 have your feet sleep
later than the rest OF you."
As he spoke Mr.. Blaine placed a
clinical thermometer under his tongue,
and to keep him company lightened
cigarette.
lis Nc a fact went on after a
pavse, "that you have well-developed
softening Of the brain?"
Not entirely" replied Mr.. Blaine.
Zone section OF my mental apparatus
| Is doubtless a trifle spongy, but the
| test OF it Is hard enough to crack nuts
| ON. / am having my brain sprayed
every day now by an eminent throat
| specialist, and / think / am being
| benefited thereby"
Alas, how brave this man was In
! the midst OF his ailments. / had all
| l could do to keep from shedding
tears when. thought that the invalid
before me might have been President
| II he had not been beaten.
81 believe, Mr.. Blaine" / said, after
swallowing my emotion, that you
have the fashionable tonsilitis as well
as the lumbago. Which is the favor
lite IN the pools?"
These things are mere incidentals,"
replied the Secretary. My pleurisy
does not give me time TO remember
that / have them. i have case OF
pleurisy that / shall bcqueath to the
| New York College of Surgeons after
| my demise. 1t viii open the eyes OF
the medical fraternity to the possibili-
| ties OF the affiiction. Think Of 1t, this
| pleurisy has 10 be fed like an animal.
| Its diet is sulphur and ground glass,
| and II ever go five minutes over its
| lunch time II satisfies it's hunger by
| gnawing off portion OF my ribs.
And now / am about to have my
II O'Clock chill. / notice that you
| have no overcoat with you. That fs
| bad. However, take my dressing
| own and wrap it round you. And
| help yourself TO quinine. You will need
It. make the room very
cold when have chill" Mr.. Blaine
| was already shivering when he finished
| speaking. At first the chatter of his
teeth sounded as though someone was
shaking dice. Then the gas fixtures
began TO trcmble and he loose papers
10 flutter about the room. Then the
INK nj Topped over, and the lace cur
tains Mapped like flags In n north
wind NV nose got red and I asked
| Mr.. Blaine II there was any whisky
| near Mt hand The illustrious states
man had got beyond the power OF an
swering me. His eyes bulged so that
I made ready TO pick them from the
floor II they fell out, and his bones
| ratified like castanets.
Compose yourself" said, Just by
way OF conversation. The Secretary
looked reproachfully ut me and went
on shivering.
"supposs I shut the window"
| continued. do you know feel q
dight draught myself"
MFR. Blaine seemed to acquiesce, 90
shut the window. Then proceeded
| with my interview.
"Do you find that you are bilious
after drinking beer" asked.
Frtfrlght-fuIl-fully." replied Mr..
blaine.
At this point the water In the foot
tub froze, and broke n with an axe
kept in the room for that purpose.
'And do you take Barker's Little
Liver pills"
Mr.. Blaine shivcred himself fairly
! out of his chair before he couid reply.
and fell head foremo~ into the tub.
T pulled him out before he could
drown. aud rang the district mes-en-
ger call. when got him on chair
| said.
Now about that stomach lining OF
rours. l. e really In such bad condi-
tion "a tina female correspondents
| have saId7''
stomach lining" exclaimed Mr.
Biaine. a. he ceased 10 shiver and went
into a fever. why. 7 havsi't know n
what . stomach lining In since the
campaign of So"
| We'll" replied. sstcmaehs are
sgned In many styles. We had heard
that yours was perforated"
The report said Mr.. Blaine. help.
ng himsif 20 a spoonful Of lpeese,
"a correct Put there IL one thing
/ tat fta na ~ -. r.nr. n q - r<.f - t.4