The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1891-05-07

, gasped and the blood flowed from his
| mouth a second time, and in q feeble voice
he said; "My God" and his eyes closed
andhis head dropped. He has breathed
his last.
Some Old Sayings.
Having seen in the papers, under the
heading of
- ANCIENT APHoRIsMs,
various comments of the wise and witty
sayings of our forefathers, l have been
induced to bestow much thought and
some investigation on the subject /; and
have been amazed to find how much OF
the concentrated lore of past ages can
be condensed into a single line, COM
pressed into nutshell. How individ-
uals, states and nations may be bene-
fitted by a due observance of their
maxims.
One remarkable and striking instance
I proceed to point out. 1t is this: The
old and familiar
APHoRIsM
which says: Two heads are better than
one, if one is a sleeps head. Apparently
trite and foolish expression. Our
early statesmen failed to see it's signifi-
canoe and to interpret it Alright. They
failed to perceive that there was a con-
dition in the proposition absolutely nec
essary to make it true that two heads
are better than one. The condition is,
one must be a sleeps head. Many wise
men of the North caught the idea, and
remembering that the language Oike
that in all oracular aphorisms) was SYM
bOlic or suggestive, suggested that the
sleeps head pointed very clearly to the
woody head. Providentially, there were
close at hand, in the Southern States,
about fonr millions of just such heads as
were wanted, but they were held as prop
erty in the South, were unlearned and
ignorant, and their owners were un-
willing to give them up, and still more
unwilling to make them legislators and
statesmen The South-the ignorant
and stupid South-stubbornly refused to
emancipate and enfranchise the negro;
but the wise men of the North, clearly
foreseeing the grand results of such a
procedure, the immense benefit that
would accrue to the human race gener-
ally; but more especially to the Southern
people They, these wise philanthropists.
first tried argument, that failing, they
treated the South as we do our children
when they are sick. They held her nose
and poured the physic down.
Chief among their arguments was an
exhibition OF the galvanic battery. How
that two metals of different status in
the mineral society-one pure and the
other base, as silver and copper-when
placed in close proximity in alternate
layers would evolve power that aston
ished the world, and they reasoned that
the two heads, the Caucasian and the
African, each sandwiched between each,
cheek by jole, shoulder to shoulder, with
elbows touching, would form an intel
lectual battery that would astound and
enlighten the entire human race. To ac-
complish this grand result required a
large expenditure of blood and treasure
and lamentations from many widows
and orphans. These wise men poured
the physic down the unwilling throats of
the unthankful South, and by force con-
ferred the inestimable blessing of the two
heads. They liberated the the negroes
and gave them the right of suffrage, at
the same time while giving the South the
exclusive benefits of the woody head, they
gave an increased representation in the
National Legislature.
History fails to record another such
instance of
MAGNANIMITY
and unselfsh generosity.
Yes, the riddle of the old aphorism is
solved-''two heads are better than one,
if one is wooly." Calhoun had an inkling
of it's Importance when he suggested the
idea OF a dual eXecutive-two heads in
the executive chair might add much to
it's sapiency.
1t would be SO much better than to have
only ne, which though without it on
the exterior, might have too much wool
on the interior OF the Uranium.
In conclusion, will state that the ben
efits of 50 grand a discovery should not
be confined to any one section OF these
United States; they should be equally
distributed and to that end would sug-
gest that law be passed, making it OBJ
ligatory on every Congressional District
to send two delegates, giving to each
district tile two heads required, and
then you would always have the proper
number Of each to arrange them in al
ternate layers, SO that the battery
would always be in working order.
omitted to state, that in the con-
struction of the galvanic battery it was
necessary to moisten the metals. In the
intellectual battery to be formed in the
Senate Hall and House OF Representa-
tives it is thought that moisture exuding
from the perspiratory organs would be
sufficient. If not each one should be
provided with cushion kept moistened
with cologne. Such an arrangement
would at once settle the great race ques-
ton. Leave no inch of ground on which
to place force bill. Abolish oil sec
tional disputes, make us a wise and
happy people. At the same time it would
be brilliant example to all the nations
of the earth.
Respectfully submitted as an Olive