Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1891-10-02

THE Empress of Austria, the Car.
ina, Queen Marguerite Of Italy, the
Queen Regent Of Spain, Queen Nata-
lie of Servia, the Queen Of Roumania,
the Comtesse de Paris, and the Queen
of Portugal are said to be inveterate
cigarette smokers. Hereafter it will
be remembered of the American dude
that he had one distinguishing char
acteristic in common with really no,
table people.
WE dread hard times because they
bring numerous raffies of watches an6
shotguns. Every man who is a little
hard up, who owns watch or shot.
gun, gets up a rattle, and if you don't
patronize him, he will hate you for
ever. A ten dollar watch is usually
ratified at fifty. Some of the fiercest
hatreds in this country are due to the
fact that some bold man refused tt
buy ticket in a rattle.
So THE old warship, or rather hulk,
Pensacola, is to be permanently cstab
lished at Honolulu to prevent the
British party from gaining control OF
that island. If the Pensacola doesn't
fall to pieces or sink with all hands
she may be formidable enough in ap
pearance to exercise a wholesome in.
fluence, but in case of trouble it
would be more dangerous to be be.
hind her guns than in front of them.
Too MANY people talk shop wher
they are away from their places Of
business. 1t is a good plan to lock
your prices and schemes up in the of.
fec when you close the Office door at
night. Your friends will enjoy your
company better if you will let them
forget that you are lawyer, OF that
mackerel is advancing in price. You
might az we'll wear a placard on your
breast telling what your occupation
is, as to be forever talking of it.
THERE is evidently some mistake
in the dispatch to the effect that the
Samoans are on the verge Of war.
Extinction must have been meant,
for how can any people who only paid
their kings about seventy-flve cents a
day support four sets Of functionaries
American, German and
Swedish-at an expense of many
thousands of dollars a year? In a
small way the occupation of Samoa
is the partition of Poland over again.
You can often hear sensational news
il you only go far enough from home.
Guatemala newspapers are publishing
the statement that the family of Gen.
Burrundia have won their suits
against the United States Government
and will receive an indemnity of
SS00,000. This sounds like a big
item, and it would be if any part of it
were true. There is no prospect that
the Barrundias will receive any sum
ment.
A NEW JERSEY man who had
caught boatload of fish a day or
two ago was just ready to pull for the
shore when he fell overheard and was
drowned. The boat remained right
side up and the fish were saved to
his family. So it goes. Let man
really catch lot Of fish and begin
congratulating himself that he won't
have to lie about it, and something is
pretty sure to happen to him. These
sad lessons ought to teach us not to
strive against natural laws.
The dress-reformers at Chautauqua
have narrowed the needs of woman
down to two lone garments and grave
ly announce that sit means nothing
less than that the beauty line from
the armpit to the ankle must be APP
preciated and insisted upon" Dear!
Dear! This is decidedly risque-and
AAOhA NAhO 1OOAAos WIZ AduACS ga
hibiting the "beauty line from the
armpit to the ankle" may perhaps be
permitted to veil their faces, a la
Turque-that is, if they are ugly.
ACCORDING to summer novel. the
hero ''stood with the moon shining
on his face. The white glare made
him look more like a creature of an.
tique granite than ever-hewn with
lost art. But the calm curves OF
his mouth were pulsing with the rec
torrents Of youth, and under his lids
the unreasonable darkness of his eyes
seemed crossed with fame" We
didn't read any further, but we will
bet red banana that in another
minute or two he took out package
of cigarettes and lit one. That is tt
say. if the novel is at all true to rea
life.
A LEARNED doctor in New York
treated patient who had a couple OF
nieceS of hullet in his brain. IT. was