Morning journal and courier., 1891-03-07
FUR u.

Mr.. Grump-I can't see. my dear, what
good that border of fur does you around
the hem of your skirt Mrs. Grump-
Why, it shows that ] can afford it.-Har-
per's Bazar.
'How are you, my boyi I've been asking
all your old friends about you, and they
say they never see you. Been out of the
city" 'iNo. I've simply lost all my for
tune."-Philadelphia Times
Uncle Sawback (entering lamp store)-
Thar, I've brung the instrument back.
Dealer-What's the matter with iti Uncle
Sawbaek-You said it was pianner lamp;
but Sairy Ann can't get blame note out
of it, nohow.-Harpers Bazaar.
Mistress-Bridget, have you spoken to
the milkman about the kind of milk he
Gently imported)-No, ma'am- / never
shpake to shtrangers until 1 am well SC
quainted wild 'em.-Chicago Tribune.
Literary Note.-'T see that in the pre-
face of your book you state that it is writ
ten to fill long-felt want. What do you
mean by thatl' ''What do l mean by
that, Why, I've been needing a square
meal for the last eighteen months. Don't
you call that long-felt wantF"-Texas
Siftings.
'I think we'd better call those beasts
with the wallpaper backs and big mouths
slligators," said Adam. al like the name
crocodile better" said Eve. "well, well
see how our stock of titles holds out. If
there's more than enough to go round,
Wen give the reptile both names. ."-Har-
per's Bazar.
A gentlemen on a walking tour is set
upon by a band of robbers. whence
come your demands the captain of the
band. From the Casino at Monte Carlo"
replies the gentleman, with fear and tremb
ling. $50, So" murmurs the captain in
compassionate tones; then, turning to his
comrades, he continues: "Alms, gentle
men; aims for the poor trayelerl"-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
James (earnestlyl-I tell you, William,
there's got to be something done about it.
William-Would you wipe out the saloona
ames-Well-er-rm not prepared to
go that length, but the rum power must
be curbed. William-You're right, every
time. Well, must be going. James
Take another before you 60, Bill. Say,
Henry (enter barkeeper,) Manhattan cock
tail for me. William-Make me another
rum punch, Henry, and little stronger
than the last. They drink and e1eunt.l-
Brooklyn Life.
He Told the Truth.-President board of
police commissioners-We are sorry to
say, O'Hoolahan, that you are discharged
from the force. O'Hoolahan-An' fer phat
cause, yer honori President-A jewelry
store was burglsrized i'll your district last
night. Did You meet anyone on your beat
| last nighti O'Hoolahan-Yis, your honor:
l met a man, an he said, said he, he wus
going to open jewelry sture. President
He did open jewelry store and stole five
| thousand dollars worth of goods O'Hoo-
| hhan-The man may have been q thafe,
but he was no iar.-Jewellers' Circular
To the Editor of the New York Sun
Sir: send you an humble contribution to
the soul satisfying and ever popular
''Mother" series of songs. If it should
strike a sympathetic chord in the popular
heart 1 shall not regret the labor spent
upon it:
Winter blows across the lea,
Fills the air with feathered flakes,
| And the skaters wild with glee,
Skim across the frozen lakes
| Cold and colder grow air.
| Till the water in the cup
| Lies CONCEALED and solid there;
Mothers teeth are frozen up.
Now the air is bright and clear,
And the southern breezes blow,
| Dafodn and crocus peer
From their bed beneath the snow.
Hark! The buebird MARBLES clear,
And the merry urchins shout:
| winters gone, and spring is here"
Mothers teeth are thawing out.
| d J. TAFLEY.