The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-05-15
FOURTH OF July GRAFTON.

delivered on the Fourth of July at weathers-
field, Conn, 1881
delivered the follerin, about two years ago, to
q large and discriminating awjiDce. / was 90
minits passin u given pint. / have revised the
orashun and added sum things which makes 1t
approposscr to the times than it otherwise would
be- have also corrected the grammers and
punktooated it. do my own punktooatin now
days. The Printers in VANITY FAIR offs can't
punktooate worth q cent
TELLER CITIZENS: I've bin honored
with "a invite to norate before you today;
and when l say that skurcely feel ekal
Weathersield is justly celebrated for
her onyins an, patritism, the world over,
and to be axed to paws and address you
on this my fust perfeshernal tower
threw New Englan, causes me to feel
to feel may say it causes me to feel.
(Grate applaws. They thought this was
one Of my eccentricities, while the fact
is was stuck. This between you and I.)
I'm plane man. l don't know nothin
about no ded languages and am little
shaky on livin ones. There4, expect no
fowry talk from me. What l shall say
will be to the pint, right strate out.
I'm for the Union as she air, and with
cred be the arm of every ornery cuss who
attempts to bust her up. That's me.
have sed! 1T was very sweaty day, and
at this pint of the orashun man fell
down with sunstroke. told the aw jince
that considerin the large number of putty
gals present was more afraid of DAw-
TER STROKE. This was impromptoo, aud
seemed to amoose them very much.
Feller Citizens-I haint got time to
motifs the growth Of Ameriky from the
time when the Mayfowers cum over in
the Pilgrim and brawt Plymmuth Rock
with them, but every skool boy nose our
kareer has bin tremenjis. You will ex-
cuse me if don't prase the erly settlers
Of the Kolonies. Peple which hung i'd
lotto old wimin for witches, burnt holes
in Quakers' tongues and consined their
feller critters to the tredmill and pillery
on the slitest provocashun may hav bin
very nice folks in their way, but must
confess don't admire their stile, and
will pass them by. l spose they ment
well, and so, in the novel and techin
langwidge of the nusepapers, 'peas to
their ashis." Thare was no diskount,
however, on them brave men who fit,
bled and died in the American Revolu-
shun. We needn't be afraid of setting
'em up two steep. Like my show, they
will stand any amount of prase. G.
Washington was abowt the best man
this world ever sot eyes on. He was a
clear-heded, warm-harted, and stiddy
goin man. He never slopt over! The
prevailin weakness of most public men
is to SLOP OVER! Put them words in
large letters-A. w.
They git filled up and slop. They
Rush Things. They travel too much on
the high presher principle. Washington
never slopt over. That wasn't Georges
stile. He luved his country dearly. He
wasn't after the spiles. He was a human
angil in 3 kornered hat and knee
britches, and we sfan't see his like right
away. Ny trends, we can't all be Wash
ington's, but we kin all be patrits g. be-
have ourselves in a human and q Chris
tan manner. When we see a brother
goin down hill to Ruin let us not give
him a push, but let us seeze rite hold Of
his coat-tails and draw him back to
Morality.