The record-union., 1891-11-16
" BESELENA'Y LETTER.
The Webfoot Metropolis Afflicted With
a Fiistrionic Crank.
Coming Marriage of Senator Mitchell's
Daughter-New Catholic Cathedral
Mules VIII be Mules.

"Some men are born great, some
achieve greatness, and some have great
ness thrust upon them" We are afflicted
with one of the latter class. / don't
mean to say we have thrust greatness
upon him-I mean he has thrust his
greatness upon us. He is colored
youth of nineteen summers, who is labor
ing under the painful delusion that he is
a second William Shakespeare. He has
written play, a wonderful production,
in three acts, with murder IN each act.
1t is called "Fair Antonia of Rome"
The play is neither opera, comedy nor
tragedy, but partakes of all-minus the
opera. Fair Antonia doesn't sing-she is
too busy spilling gore for that. This
embryo Shakespeare submitted his play
to the manager of the Marquam Grand.
The stony-hearted manager, after reading
it, sad he would have the play produced
when the young mans hal: became gray;
and his hair evidently has not the slight
est inclination to turn gray for some
years to come.
The author is firmly and unalterably
convinced that the unfeeling manager is
jealous because he can't write one just
like it.
Miss Matte Mitchell, the pretty daugh-
ter of one Of our most popular Senators,
is about to marry a French duke. The
wedding, it is said, will take place early
in the new year. The young lady is well
able to grace ducal corOneG and will be
a valuable addition to the long line of
American girls who have married foreign
titles.
Our Governor has shown his indepen-
dence by issuing a Thanksgiving procla-
nation hpfOra tbn Chief AIa st % Of the
land has issued his. For my part, i
rather admire his spirit in striking out
from the beaten path, but then our Gov
ernOr is original Or nothing.
The Catholics of Portland are to have a
new cathedral, which the Archbishop
says will eclipse anything of the kind on
the Pacific Coast. The new editice will
be built entirely of stone, and will have
two large towers. The old cathedral, OPP
p0site the new Chamber Of Commerce, is
to be sold as soon as the latter building is
completed, which will greatly enhance
the church property.
We have free bridge at last. The city
paid Sl4o, 900 for it to the street railway
company. 1t was originally built by the
street railway people for their cars, and
is OF no benefit to anyone but the COM
| pany, as it is too narrow for teams and
| foot passengers. The cars will still run
over the bridge at cost of s., 200 year.
| InlS seems 10 De q raJDer OnG-SlQ0Q aualr,
as the expense of running the bridge is
f! Si20 d month for labor. 1t can be readily
seen by this that our dear, confiding peo-
| pie have the bone and the street railway
company the meat.
That the mule is a stubborn animal is
q well authenticated fact. The other day
while some repairs were being made on
Washington street, small carts were used,
drawn by these long-eared animals. One
of them, by some instinct, discovered
| that he was 10 draw two carts instead OF
one. Then the blood of his ancestors
was aroused. He wasn't going to be inn
posed upon-not if he knew himself
When his time came to move on he stood
there like the Rock of Gibraltar. Neither
threats nor coaxing could stir him-he
! just stood there and winked his left eye
in knowing manner.
Finally, one brilliant individual sug-
gested to lift him up bodily. Accord
ingly, six stout laborers came forward,
and for time it looked as if that mule
would be decapitated. Between them he
was fairly carried across the street, the
! obnoxious cart taken off, and in few
minutes his muleship was looking as gen
| tie as lamb, and traffic, which for the
time had been suspended, was once more
| resumed. BESELENA.
Portland, Or, November l3, 1891.