The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-12-01
sUNFloWER sILRoURTrEs.
1t is always correct to speak of the bride
lady of many gifts.

| as lady of MANY gifts.
A Kansas man whose wife starts ths
| kitchen FIRE with Kerosene, has invented I
coal oil can with parachute attachment
| People are still having cold turkey fol-
lunch. The family dog never has his
Thanksgiving until week after when be
| gets the breast bone.
The old question, when shall we three
meet agan?' seems 10 have been answer
ed. Apparently next fall That is, if the
Democrats do not fuse
There are a great many people who
would hate to grow up, knowing That they
had cost their fat hers s, 600 once, like the
junior Beale OF Kansas City.
John Peter ST. John has the reputation
among the railroad officials of being the
worst fiend for free passes that ever sat IN
the executive chair OF Kansas.
4 colored woman ut Paola sat down on
The edge of razor the other day. Charlie
Finch does not think that it was a regular
BARRIERS razor, because it cut her severely.
The old Wall family gave Wall street its
name Lombard street in London was
named because the LombardS, the first
money changers III Paris. were Europe
first bankers.
1t is said of the Englewoo1 plug, out
through western Kansas, that it runs so
slow that the hogs in the winter come out
of their retreats and warm themselves by
he hot boxes.
General Rice spends great deal of his
spare time now denouncing Senator
PETER The probabilities are that if the
Alliance had elected Rice senator, PETER
would be busy toiay denouncing Rice.
Jerry Simpson and other Kansas con-
gressmen will probably throw their sup
port to the candidate for speaker who will
promise to fix it so that Mrs. Lease can
come in on the floor and make speech oc-
casionally.
The American language is not the Eng
lish language. In America coal is put on
the fire; in England Goals are put on the
fire. In America the engineer switches a
freight train; in England the driver shunts
goods train.
Manager Crawford of the Kansas opera
house circuit has turned over new leaf
He says he would rather keep his houses
closed than give the people poor shows
This little announcement should have
come before Thanksgiving.
To read the newspapers. God, last year,
was on the side of the Alliance; this year
He is on the side of the Republicans. This
may be good deal as Napoleon said
about war-that God was usually on the
side that had the heaviest artillery.
The Washington correspondents are
having a good time interviewing PETER
and Simpson and sending unique descrip-
tons of both to their papers. One news
paper man from Chicago claims to have
actually counted the hairs in PETERS
beard, the number reaching the exact
point of 20007.
Who is the man with the patched trou-
sers, the dilapidated hat, the dusty.
threadbare coat, with elbows out and
shoes not wanting holes' A tramp,
surely.
Oh, no.
Has he no food to round his hollow
cheek, no hope to light his lusterless eye
a beggar, thenf
Oh, no.
Then what?
A Kansas Republican editor.
But why so downcast?
1t is not his patches No. 1t is not his
hat nor threadbare coat. No.
1t is not his hungry visage nor his empty
stomach that depresses him. He can en-
iure all these and still bear up. 1t is not
that. 1t is this.
Yes?
1t is when he reflects that his Alliance
accuses him OF being sub
sidized by Wall street.
The story is told of young New Eng
and minister who in an early day had
intended to accept charge at
Dodge City but changed his mind. A few
days before he was to leave for his new
field he met a friend just returned from
she wild and woolly west.
and were you ever at Dodge City,"
questioned the young minister.
'Oh, yes"
"Well. now, you'd be surprised If l
charge of flock out there, wouldn't you?
Well, am"
The friend hung his head and then look
ID up with a serious air. Don't you
know that is an awful tough town." he
asked.
"Of course 1 do exclaimed the young
minister all aglow" But the cause of
CHRIST must not let barriers like that pre-
7ent.
Certainly" said the friend politely
Then he pondered again and added:
Charles, I believe you shut your eyes
when you pray?"
Eyes believe do. But what q funny
question:"
well, I'd break myself of the habit |
before 1 go to Dodge City"
Good graciousI why"
Because every man in the congregation |
would get the drop on you, like as not"