The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1891-03-19
BILL ARPS CHAT.
Over two Hundred new Doctors turned
Loose on the Country.

Loose on the Country
atlanta Constitution.
Over 200 new doctors turned loose upon
the country-200 from Atlanta alone and
big lot from Augusta besides. I went
down on Monday to see our boy graduate.
His mother went, too, for ahe believes he
is natural born doctor, and can cure
anybody of anything whether he has got
it or not When he comes home she will
get sick just for him to have patient.
Old Uncle Sam was complaining, and she
told him to wait until her doctor came.
She has confidence in his technical words,
all mixed up with Latin and Greek and
other foreign languages. And then there
is his diploma that is in Latin and it WAS
presented by Colonel Hammond in
Latin speech. suppose this dead Ian
gusge is used as symbol of the doctors
work. Colonel Hammond spoke in a
grave tone of voice. He said that the
Prophet jeremiah, exclaimed: IT'S there
no balm in Gilead-is there no physician
there?" If he had lived in our day and
witnessed the scene before US he would
not have asked that question concerning
Atlanta. Here are eighty.six just made
from one college. And he advised them
all to emulate St. Luke whom Paul call
ed the beloved physician. Colonel
Hammond knows power of Scripture,
but he dident mention King Asa, "Who
was diseased in his feet, and his disease
was exceeding great, yet he sought not
the Lord, but sought physicians and he
slept with his fathers" Nor did he men,
tion that "certain woman which had an
issue of blood for twelve years, and had
suffered many things of many physicians
and had spent all that she had and was
nothing better, but rather grew worse"
Colonel Hammond is an optimist and
looks on the bright side and encouraged
the young doctors. he looked at the
beautiful bouquets that we're sent upon
the stage, and said: "Young gentlemen,
these flowers are very beautiful and very
for the occasion, but they are
before you. Let your zeal, your study,
your skill so inspire your professional life
that you can look back and see flowers
behind you. Flowers of praise and con-
fdence from your patients and your pa
trons."
He then presented the doctors with
their sheepskins and called each one by
their latin names, and some of them we're
30 peculiar and unique they brought
down the house, for John was Johannes,
and William was Gulielmus, and Ralph
was Radulphus. 1t reminded me of
lawsuit in a Justices court that happened
q long time ago when Mark Blanford,
who recently resigned from tbs bench of
the supreme court, was devilish young
lawyer. A doctor sued man for his
medical bill of SIS, and the man en-
ployed Mark to fight the case, for he said
the doctor was no account and he dis
charged him. The doctor swore to his
account and Mark called for his license,
or bis diploma, and made the point that
no doctor had right to practice without
one, and he read the law to the Squire.
And 30 the old squire told the doctor he
would have to show his sheepskin. He
said he had one at home, and asked for
leave to go after it. It was six miles to
town, and he rode in a hurry, and return.
ed all in sweat of perspiration. With
an air of triumph he handed it over to
Mark and said, "Now, what have you got
to say" Mark unrolled it, and saw it
was in Latin. The doctors name was
John Williamson Head, but the Latin
made it Johannes Gulielmus, flius, Ca
put. That was enough for Mark. He
made the point that it was not diplo-
ma, but was an old land grant that was
issued in old colony times to man by
the name of Caput. He said he had
read about the Caputs and one of their
ancestors whose name was John Sebastian
Caput discovered America and this land
grant WAS a. bounty from the King of
Spain. The doctor raved furiously, but
Mark stuck to it that there was no men,
ton in the document of John William
Head-that it was issued to one Johan-
nes Gulielmus, flius, Caput-a very diff
ferent person, and then he asked the doc.
tor to please to read che thing to the
court. Of course the doctor couldent do
it and he lost bis case. The old squire
said that he dident know whether it was
land grant or diploma or a patent for
some machine, and if the doctor couldent
read it be wasent ftten to use it. And 80
T think these eighty.six doctors had bet
ter get Colonel Hammond to translate
their diplomas and then learn the English
by heart.
Professor Lane gave the large audience
q rare treat-a combination of wit and
wisdom that only Charley Lane can
make up. He rested his manuscript on
an hour glass about four feet high, and
all his serious, scholarly thoughts were
there, but ever and anon he stepped to
the front and illustrated his wisdom with
humorous anecdotes that kept his hearers
eyes open, and their mouths, too. He
waa hard down up0n patent medicines.