Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-03-23


"Nov. 49, am just home from
another dinner, at which spoke. There
were others, of course, who spoke, but
they were not into it. spoke feelingly
and interspersed my remarks with persi-
! fdge. 1t was good speech. Better
than the dinner. Something did not
agree with me. I think it was the
shrimp salad. L oughtn't to eat shrimp
salad, especially when desire the use of
my dinner for any length of time. This
salad was not properly made. The col
| liver oil was the work of malarial cod
! fish The salad was improperly dressed
also. Its ufess was low and vulgar.
We could not get along together.
but made good speech. Unfortu-
nately it will not be printed. 1t is rule
: of the organization not to prir remarks
made at its table. So the speed /, as well
as the dinner, was a complete loss.
Speech, valued at. SIS 90
! Dinner mot available. ~
! Nov. 90 am home again after tri-
umph. We had several eminent men at
our banquet. The ventriloquist, who
/ was ~ have Dttll the lie OI tue party.
could not come, and so was invited. l
had short notice, but that is the test of
/ true greatness. l closeted myself with
| The Story Teller's Guide for two hours,
and then taking a half hour with an
elocutionist was in fine form, with a
good appetite, at $50 p. IN. Removing
a touch of sadness and gravy from the
back of my dress coat sailed forth.
I'VE had some sherry in the ante-room
while we took off our rubbers, and the
dinner was very good indeed. barring a
young man who had begun dining a lit
tie too early in the afternoon and who
was therefore about an octave ahead of
; the music all the evening. He burned
off one lobe of his whiskers while light
ing his cigar, and it smelled so that
three of our guests went home little
lopsided and cast down. So did the
young man.
He reminded me somehow Of a young
and budding ass used to know. whose
father was at one time governor of
western territory. The governor did not
know any too much. He did not know
hardly anything. Sometimes he would
almost know something, but would be-
come nervous and forget what it was
''Once he found that he would have to
receive great man officially at his man.
sion, and his wife was away. She was
on westbound train which would reach
the capital at about the time of the re-
ception. SO lie wired her. care Of the
conductor, that She must arrive in full
dress.
( But how:
/ she decided at once, for she was a
woman of decision, even if she did not
, look well III full dress. She went to the
! express car and asked to be alone. The
, expressman said wherefore She said
she was the wife of the governor of the
territory and would be alone. She de-
sired to dress. He heSitated but left.
telling her that when the train got to
Antelope he would have to open the car
to let off deceased party who was billed
to that place. She said she would be all
nicely dressed by that time
| But she was not. Being a woman,
and rather gothic also, she was DELAYED
somewhat, and as the train rounded
sharp curve tof its OWN now and then
she would fall out of her party dress
and have 70 climb back again and tuck
in a shoulder blade or two ever and
anon.
so when the train got to Antelope,
and King Solomon's Temple Lodge, r.
\. NJ, had come down to the depot to
take charge Of the remains of the
deceased brother, it found a highly
middle aged lady dressing IN the car.
and holding a long, tan colored wisp
Of hair IN her teeth, while she held an
other wisp straight up and groomed it
with "A wire brush.
The Masons had band also, and
while this oompah-oompah orchestra
played dlrge and the expressmah hand
, ed ont the package for Antelope he kept
his back toward the dressing room. 1t
was a sad sight. On the one hand were
death and the trappings of woe: on the
other, Ill concealed charms and the trap
pings of reception. But it showed nerve
and firmness, among other things, and
the incident is still referred to by old
timers and pointed to with pride by old
settlers who glory in the days when even
officials We're ready at all times to act
upon an emergency.
/ Speech last night, say.............. $40 90
, Dinner OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. IS 90
4 Cigar. ........--.................-. 10
! Balance out. Observation-Disclosures. 40
! Bro't forward .............. ....... 40
$50 to date am square in the whole
deal, though l have placed rather a mod
crate value on the bon hO1lnie and rather
a high estimate on the consomme, so
am surely not ahead, though two or
three times l was quite sure that l was
getting ahead"
The above is an exact copy of the
diary of prominent New Yorker who
has been dining a good deal this season,
but who is at present doing chores for
his board on small farm three miles
behind Quogue, on Long Island, and pre-
pairing for season of uninterrupted
gayety next year.
~ IN Ax