The Forrest City times., 1891-08-14
DEACON JOSH'S VISITOR.

good fortune to come across. l will endeavor to portray the old fellow as saw him first, but words are hardly equal to the task. In order to appre- ciate all his peculiaritles, it is Geces- sary to actually see and hear him at his own home-as l did.
 Imagine little. short, dried-up old man with bandy legs crooked enough for croquet wickets, and so hump backed that his battered straw-ha seemed only a matched roof for his shoulder blades. His lean and leath- cry face was wrinkled and sun-s scorch- ed till it looked like shriveled-up chunk of dried beef. A stubby hedge or white whiskers about an inch in length ran around under his chin from ear to ear. striking out in all direc- .ions like the feathers in turkey gobbler's tail. Low down on the end cf his hooked nose hung pair of huge. iron-bowed spectacles that Noah probably wore when he was running out town lines over the top of Mt. Ararat. Over the top of this ponder ous ornament whose round glasses were about as big around as silver dollars peered two greenish-gray eyes twinkling with a look of shrewd in- quiry.
 A new duck frock of dark brown hue contrasted oddly enough with his blue drilling overalls, These last were rather the worse for wear. for one mourning knee was covered with a huge black patch; while ther seat had also been repaired extensively, appar- ently with breadth out of some red flannel petticoat. One suspender was dangling and Tapping about his heels like the forked tail of his Satanic Majesty besides.
 One trousers-leg was tucked into the top of an old cow-hide boot, the exact size of which the Arabic system of notation probably has no number suf- ficiently large to designate; while the other foot was enclosed in rubber shoe like a Jersey ferry-boat The hiatus between it and his high-water pants was bridged over by a stocking of as brilliant yellow as one of his own pumpkins. Such was the comical- looking old codger who stopped work and leaned upon his hoe-handle when he saw me approaching.
 Fearing he might take the alarm and refuse to talk if 1 declared myself a newspaper correspondent the first thing, l simply inquired if I could board with him for day or two.
 A curious pucker that with him did duty for a smile convulsed his leathery lips, and his grey eyes twinkled with good humor as he answered with a volatility that showed fears as to his being disinclined to talk were utterly groundless, In fact only found chance to slip in little word occa- sionally, sharp end foremost during the whole time he was reeling of the following reminiscence:
 Wall, 1 dunno. Ye see it bends mostly on heow big holler there is In ye, an the state O the old woman's cupboard. Some O these 'ere city fellers that wanter wrastle hash with us summers air like the snake that swallowed the woodchuek. bigger in side than they air eout
 Il remember one chap that kim deown from Rostin ter make us visi- tatiou some tew year ago. booty tol- erble we'll He tells us his uncle's faith CTS swite's sisters fust husband was a secont cousin ter my son Johns wife's step-mother; an as he warn't very well an hadn't no appetite he kind CT lowed as heow he orter kim deowu an see his relashin an git erquainted.
 IVY hen l found eout he was so nigh related tew me. course l tuck him in an tried ter fill him up. But didn't it make havoc and devastashin in the old woman's buttery! Land O Goshen! l b'lieve the feller was only a skin enny-heow and had to stuff hisself full or else collapse like busted wind bag. Even then it was a mystery where the grub went ter. A poor appetite in- deed,
 He'd eat an eat an eat till he swelled up like a striped snake full O raw frog. an when he'd completely cleaned of the table he'd look wish fully at the cupboard with eyes brim- min over with sorrer An he kep' it up day artcr day an never said soli- tary word 'beout goin' back ter Bos- ting.
 ''Finally I begun ter hint a leetle mite onst when he was goin' for the 'leventh biscuit one mornin' arter he'd been with us fortnit.
 |" That Hours wuth six dollars bar'l, says ter him, says I.
 Its mighty good four an would cost as much as seven and a half in Bosting. says he. Guess I'll fill up as wells eau on-account O my appe- tite, whore it's cheap An then he reached for the twelfth biscuit
 But sass was my son Johns wife's stepmother's second cousins wife's sis ter's husbands nevy's best holt. He would pitch it inter him amazin It tuck more'n quart on it to stuff his face every single meal, an he'd shovel it in like an Irishman loadin' freight car.
 Il telled the old woman one day that was jes' goin' ter fix that feller f could. So got q lot O hoss-reddish rutes an made her grate lem up an make sass on 'em. It did look lappin' good when she got it all done an SUI gared on top, but l guess twas hot huff for a luncheon for the Old | Scratcher.
 "When that reddish-sass kim onter the dinner-table ye'd orter see eour uirh rol nt tivnso nvoc eno cL1a <aI ,,o