Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-08-08
HIS WATCH WAS WRONG,

a simple Tale Showing How a Washington
Man Got Late to His Office.
4 CHEAP WATCH Is NOT ALWAYS TO
"A be depended upon. and for that matter
very few watches are to be absolutely depended
on. STAR reporter heard good joke upon
young Won Snodkins which was due entirely to
his watch.
Now, as everybody knows, the man who does
not carry watch can generally gauge time
pretty accurately. He can tell when il is ne ,rly
3 o'clock by watching the department clerks on
the streets. If they walk very slowly it is half
past eight; il they go at an easy gait it is a
quarter before nine if they walk rapidly it is
five minutes of nine; if they tear recklessly
along the street it ia within few seconds of nine.
He need never feel in any doubt about4 o'clock,
either. Precisely at that hour the streets sud-
denly become full Of people. He can tell when
it is O'Clock by the bakers ring, when it is
half-past by the ice wagon, when it is six o'clock
in the evening by his ravenous appetite. If
man keeps regular hours and has his ewes and
ears about him he can 60 through life pretty
punctually without a watch.
But If you are accustomed to carrying a
watch you put all your dependence on it, and
II it is out OF the way you are pretty sure to be
In the same position yourself. Listen to this
case in point Young Won Snodkins is Ger
man and is very accurate. He gets to his Office
at o'clock every morning. He leaves it for
lunch at half-past II and he returns at quar-
ter past l. He goes home at o'clock and he
dimes at 6. He goes to bed of II and gets up at
hslf-past Z. All the year round this regularity
goes on. Only zone thing does Won Snodkins OBJ
ject to in this arrangement. He would like to
| sleep later in the morning. and he never stirs
from bed until his watch tells him it is full 7:3O
He has a new watch. His old one went to
pieces and he bought new one for a few dol
lars and congratulated himself upon its cheap
ness. 1t is true it is as large as turnip and
about as bulky, but he doesn't mind that. All
he wants is good time piece.
Well, it happened that Won Snodkins as
founded his clerk the other day by appearing
at his Office at $50 instead of O'Clock. He
glanced at the Office clock and his new watch,
swore gently and made an alteration in the
latter.
The next morning Won Snodkins came to his
office at $50. The janitor was busting it and
| at his Office clock and his watch, swore vigor-
| ously and made another alteration. The next
| morning and for four consecutive morn
| ings everything went beautifully-like clock
work, but like clockwork that is in good order.
| On the fifth morning Won Snodkins didn't APP
pear at his Office at all. Ten O'Clock came and
he wasn't there; II o'clock and no Won Sn Cd
kins. His clients thought he must be i'll and
were sorry. His clerk thought he must be
| dead. for he knew his employer never got ILL.,
I
Snodkins' boarding house. Being a single man
Won Snodkins has a room only at this boarding
house. He forages for his meals, going to one
restaurant after another or dining at his club
when his digestion is strong enough to stand
club cooking. Therefore it is that he is never
disturbed in the morning. but is allowed to
| sleep as late as he chooses. As he doesn't break
| fast at his boarding house his iandlady doesn't
| care what becomes of him. So the clerk when
| he came to Won Snodkins' lodgings was simply
| told to 60 upstairs and look for him. He went
up and knocked.
"Whose there?'' came mufaed, sleepy voice.
| evidently proceeding from tho bed clothes.
ut is !, -, your clerk" was the answer.
''Come in. What's the matter? Is,the Office
on fire? Has the President sent for me? What
| the deuce do you want with me at this hour of
the morning, anyhow? Come in, come in"
The clerk entered and found his employer in
bed. On dressing table near his head rested
| the new cheap watch. and the hands showed
| that it was 1923 o'clock.
"Mr. Won Snodkins. are you aware, sir, that
| 1t is half-past eleven o'clock"
"No, nonsense, look at the watch Don't YOU
| see it il not yet half.past seven? Inever get up
| till half-past seven"
The watch is four hours behind time"
"The dickens you say! 1t shall play me no
| more tricks" and he threw it across the room
| and jumped on it and smashed IL. Then he
| dressed himself and came down town. but he
| was pretty cross man for the balance of the
day and it doesn't make him happy when one
| Of his friends makes an allusion to the inac-
| curacy Of cheap timepieces.