Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-04-30

] shall eloesyor 20 write ps~lhcf ALI
shzll certainly AVOID tie U.s. Of slang
woria"
The explanation ia this case Is that
the Il In billy sna the IN pa
were prossbly badly written bnt the
substitution Of itty" foF ill" snd Of
an FOR I IL wait" was undoubtedly
the fsnlt 81 the operators. There Is
= similarity between the Morse char
sesers which stand for the letters AID
Z. ssd they are frequently confused by
young operators I. Is represented ~
Icing dash and by short one, and
donble or double |, when sent too
close together. ma4e the letter IA, SO
that il MAS quite possible for the Law
yer's wife " have been informed. or,
rather Inisinformed. that her husband
intended to dine with an individual OF
the peculiar name of "flimy" Smith or
"Kirny" Smith, or even "Bitty" Smith or
sKniy' Smith, instead of Kitty Smith
Such palpable errors are, Of course.
only made by very green operators
An experienced man, unless his wits
were OF wool-gathering, would make
some inquiries of the sender. which
would probably result in . correction.
Two callow young operators made an
explanation necessary from New
York newspaper man recently. He was
TO be married in the West. Before
leaving town he devoted several days 20
searching over brooklyn for Fat. be-
ing assisted In the search by young
married woman, the friend OF his be-
trothed Upon leaving his Office one
morning about two o'clock he sent the
Brooklyn lady telegram. which he
expected would be delivered Ia her
about $50 or nine o'clock In the morn
ing. The dispatch was worded apollo
gctically: "Nvill be over TO worry you
this afternoon"
The message was pulled" on its way
across the East river and a meaning OF
SD mich importance was given 70 it
that the Brooklyn operator rushed 1t
ont, the message boy arriving at the
house at about four d IN. The hus-
band of the lady got out Of bed 10 an
swer the bell BY further mistake OF
the delivery department the envelope
was addressed to the husband. He
opened it and was astonished to read:
''MrS WIN be over TO marry
you this afternoon"
When . man Is awakened from .
sound sleep and informed that his wife
Is 10 be married to a young man who.
he has had every reason to believe, was
70 be married to young lady in the
West, he is apt to conclude that he isn't
awake after all. No one who has not
experienced IL can realize how very
startling 1t is. 1t was the first his wife
had heard of It. They racked their
brains for solution of the puzzle. 1t
wasn't solved, however, until the young
newspaper man arrived.
A lynching was nearly precipitatcd
by the error Of Kansas operator sonre
time ago. 1t was only avertcd by tho
discovery that there was no one to
lynch. A young farmer was called
wife went to visit her brother in town
near by during his absence. The third
day her husband telegraphed her: Zig
ball. meet me ut Wichita tonight"
There was to be dance and he wanted
his wife TO attend. This was splen-
did opportunity for the imp Of mischief
who causes Geographic bulls" He tam
pered with the message so that when
the farmers wife read it, il said: big
Bill got me at Wichita tonight"
Her instant aud very natural coz
clusioa was that her husband lad
either been captured or shot or both,
by a desperate nemed Bic ELL" Her
brothers agreed with her, and the whole
family and number Of neighbors, all
heavily armed, took the first train for
Wichita TO rescue the husband and
hang big Bill" The husband was
waiting calmly at the station for his
wife. The vigilance committee de-
manded "Big Bill" and were not ut all
satisfied with the husband for standing
there free and uninjured. The brothers
criticised him severely because he
wasn't kidnapped. and announced that
in their opinion he was guilty Of rank
deception. A fight was prevented by
his wife Intervention and an explana-
ton.
A gentleman in San Francisco learned
that an estimable lady in Los Angeles
had suddenly lost all her property and
was in condition OF actual want He
telegraphed TO friend, a lawyer Of
Los Angeles: Assist Mrs - immedi-
ately." The word assist" was changed
TO arrest" and the poor woman's
misery was increased by a night in q
prison cell.
''Scnd me tcnderloins" said a mes
sage received By New York sporting
man from friend In Philadelphia. IL
should have read: "Send me ten dol
lars" The New York man replied:
what do you meau?" and the Phlla-
delphis man was 80 indignant at such a
response tn his request that the friend
ship was severed for nearly year.
A gentleman with the dignified name
of Cyrus r. Nixon was shocked 10 have
. message handed TO him addressed
''Circus r. Nixon" A wholesale produce
merchant received a message from a re-
tail customer. saying: Your $500 arc
No. 200 n" II should have been: "Your
eggs are no good" Tho delivery de-
department OF the New Orleans West
ern Union Office was mystified by a
message addressed to BlyaDnop street.
II turned out 20 be 50 Cannon street.
Absolute accuracy will probably
never come. II certainly will not as
long as telegraphers have debts. love
affairs, good intentions. baseball. horse
races and countless other subjects %
occupy their minds while they arc re-
cciving OF sending dispatches in the