Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1891-08-15

sah.n
pete johnson, do you think dat
! you is de one to instruct your old par
son in his dooty? Hadn't | told you
fur TO keep still and not open your
mouf?n
What for den you ask me so many
konundrums if you don't spect me to
say muffin? I've been ofn to white
folks weddin's. and de parties inter
ested always despond to dc questions.
Here Jemima hastily shook up her
companion. saying, For mercy's sake.
Pete, do keep quiet till we're jined,
and don't talk back to the parson. Jes
think how 'dicSerlous we two uns must
pear to all desc pussuns settin' down
behind us. :"
A few seconds OF silence followed
these remarks on the part OF the BRIDE
elect, which. however, were somewhat
interrupted by the filters OF certain
| young women in the congregation. |
thought 10 myself: We'll. they're
having rather a hard time getting
married. wonder whether it is at
all prophetical of their future life9n
when the preacher once more resumed
his task by addressing himself to the
other party.
'iJemimy do you promis' me here
tonight dat you'll be a good wife TO
Pete. dat you'll cook his vittles. mend
his clo'es, and take care OBJ his house
iii he ever has one which very much
doubt); will you obey him and sarve
hfV., ftYn hnnaV. ar1 l-aaFt him al 4.
days OBJ your mortal lite while you lib
togedder in dis lower wurld?"
lis it time for me TO speak up sah?n
said the woman, making low courtesy,
lob course itam. What for do you
spect asked de question ob you, II
didn't mean for you TO answer it?n was
the reply.
Why, cause said She you
bowed up Pete so when he said any
thing dat | kinder thought I'd wait
awhile afore replyin' 10 you"
Whats your answer TO my ques-
tion?" shouted the clerical gentleman.
well, now, parson. don't get cited;
all dat depends on a few circum-
stances. III Pete behaves hisself and
takes good keer OBJ me and de family,
brings home things to eat and gibs me
a good share of all he earns, I'll be
good to him; Otherwise | won't promis'
TO stay wild him all do days OBJ my life. .
We'll, now" said the discouraged
groom, ''dats' nifty fine talk to hear
from you and rite hear before folks,
too. Hasn't said I'd do de rite thing
by you ten hundred thousand times
Ii you've gone back on me and changed
your mind since last eb'nin, dere'5
Mandy Phelps a-settin' close by in dc
front pew, and she'd jump at de
chance OBJ 5tandln' here where you do
dis blessed mint.
This pointed allusion 10 one OF his
old flames was altogether too much for
Jemima, who cried out:
Oats ies like you. Pete johnson.
You ought to be 'shamed OBJ yourself
TO defer TO such ting rite here afore
folks. If Mandy wants you. and you
want Mandy let her cum rite out, anu
I'll dust quicker'n Iitenin.
NO no, Jemimy," roared Pete.
don't leave me here a-stannin' up all
alone. | only spoke paregorically,
and 'twould be awful embarrassin fur
me to change partners on such short
motifs See here, parson, you go rite
on wild dis business and iine us les as
il dis ere conversation hadn't Cured.
Pears to me dat folks mus be a-get-
tim tired wild all dis nonsense"
Pete johnson. do you dare to in
sinerwate dat dare'5 any nonsense
about me' You keep quiet, and wait
until / get ready TO denounce dem
awful wurds dat will make you two
one-auick'n a wink. | hadn't got
thru sayin' all want to you two idiots.
You Is too much ob an object lesson TO
desc sinnahs before me fur me 10 dis
miss you too 'ruptly. / want TO press
on your intellex (if you hab any, dat
dis ere gettin' married am a nifty
solem circumstance. You two are
a-standin' on de threshold OF life. while
| shall soon go down de back entry Oh
time You must advance while |
must deyance. and want you 10 slider
all de sponsibilities dat you Is SUNNI.
| could dwell on dis subjeck a long
time, but 1 am kinder tuckered out
myself, so I'll bring dis ceremony TO
conclusion, and denOunce you man and
wife. De organist will please strike
up de weddin' march, and de happy
pair will den perambulate down dc
middle isle. Please remember dat
dere's hole in de carpet jes opposite
Deacon Thompson's pew. so you'll hab
TO lift your hoofs putty high so as not
to stumble fall down and spile your
weddin' suits. DE usual collection of
weekly offerin's will be taken up les
as soon as de weddin' party submerge
into de porch, and in order to prevent
any one else from a-skippin' out. do
sexton will lock the door and put the
key in his pocket, Brudder White
and Brudder Green will pass 'roun' de
baskets. and be sure for TO give back
no change"
IL only remains for mo TO add that
everything was fully carried out ac-
cording to the directions given.