davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A PENNSYLVANIA farmer has a hen
which habitually laws unusually large
eggs. Inside of each of these eggs is
another good sized egg, perfectly
formed. Both the inside and outside
egg have q yelk and white apart.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

THE lowest body of water on the
globe is the Caspian sea- Its level has
been gradually lowering for centuries
and now it is eighty-fve feet below the
level Of its neighbor, the Black sea.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

NEW YORK has wonder on its police
force. This wonder arrested two women,
and when they were assessed SO and
costs each. he gallantly paid their fine.
They were strangers to him.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

THREE hundred to four hundred tons
of coal FER day is the amount used in
some of the large passenger steamers on
the Atlantic. This is about one ton per
mile run.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

CHICAGO, June 27.-The appellate court
has handed down decision in which it held
that the ordinance of the city which pro
hibits pool selling outside enclosures OF race
courses is invalid, because it discriminates
in favor of certain localities and certain per-
sons. The decision does not affect state law.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

ENGLISH officers are aghast at the
proposition to abolish the cooked hat
and feathers worn by the superior Off
GERS of the army. Major James, of the
Sixteenth Lancers, started the idea
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

THE last engagement of the civil war
was at Palmetto Rancho, Texas. May
IL, 1866, the Sixty-socond United States
Colored Volunteers, Second Texas Cav
airy and Thirty-fourth Indiana Volun-
teers under Col. Barrett. and the Con-
federates under Gen. Slaughter.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

IT is mistake to suppose that polar
research has cost enormously in human
life. Despite all the great disasters,
ninety-seven out of every one hundred
explorers have returned alive.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

THE cracking sound of freshly ig-
nited wood or coal is caused by the air
or liquid contained in the pores expand
ing by heat and bursting the covering
in which it is confined.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A HEAD ofshair measuring ten feet
and seven inches in length adorns Mrs.
PhilPot. Of Gainesville, Texas. Her
height is only four feet
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A LADY came TO the polls in Fort
Scott, Kan, who refused a ticket from
those doing them out, saying she had
her ticket already prepared. She was
allowed TO have her own sweet way,
and when the ballots were counted out
her registration ticket, with her name
In big letters, turned up all right
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A Few years ago the great Salkirk
glacier IN British Columbia was pure
water. Now it is grimy from ashes scat
tered by the wanton burning of forest
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A New York paper has discovered that ia
man has rights in New York horse-car."
We've known that for a long tune, and that
there is where he has to stand up for them,
too.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

IL its native habitat the shell of the
oyster is always a little open. and MI
croscopic, waving hairs set up currents
which carry the food plants 10 its
mouth, where they RFe epgulted and
ssteEEaFd digested.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

ToPEKA, Ran. June 26.-The officials OF
the United States Savings bank make the
announcement that the bank will open for
business and pay its depOsitOrs on Monday,
July 6.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A CALIFORNIAN was out looking for
some lost sheep in a canyon near Sespe,
Ventura County. recently, when he ran
against large brown bear. He had
no firearms, but he lassoed the bear and
dragged it to death. 1t weighed SOC
r,ounda
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A Hard Worker.-Jones: How does it hap
pen that Robinson never does anything2 He
seems very lazy. Brown: No, he comes
near the biblical standard. He earns his
bread by the sweat of his frau. She keeps
boarding house.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

THE olfactometer recently exhibited
to the Academy of Sciences in Paris is a
little apparatus for testing the smelling
powers of individuals. 1t determines
the weight of odorous vapor in a cubic
centimetre Of air which is perceptible
by the oIfactory sense of a person.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02
For SCHOOL Omcers.

SPR1EeY1ELD. June Ex-Governor Fifer
has signed bill enabling women to vote toE
all sehesl efacsFs,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

RfAngs are about 5 feet . inches TO
feet high. whereas the BagAyas are 4
feet inches.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

OrrU1rwA, Ia. June 26-The Iowa dem
ocratie state eopHsntion received the report
ct lis platform committee. The plAttpEm
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The true Bengal tiger is dying out
SO say Indian sportsmen- The advance
of civilization drives the creatures from
their old haunts, and the rewards offered
for the destruction Of wild beasts en-
courage indiscriminAte slaughter, SO
that tigers are rare, even in the islands
of the Brahmapootra, where they
formed the chief population some years
auo
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

They say that woman cannot reason, but
80 long as she has her faculty of intuition she
seems to get along all right. Besides, she
can usually get man to reason for her.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Mr.. Parnell's secretary, Henry Campbell,
NJ. p, has been awarded $1,000 damages
against the Cork Herald, which paper said
were attending to their duties, Mr.. Campbell
was hiring houses for immoral purposes for
Mr.. Parnell.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Prince George, of Greece, who accom-
panied the czarowitz on his tour around the
world, arrived at San Francisco June %
from Yokohama on the steamer Gaelic. He
will proceed by way of New York to London
and st. Petersburg.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

A tornado at Cairo, ILL.,, did considerable
damage, unroofng great many houses. tear
ing up trees by the roots, blowing them across
railroad tracks and knocking wires down.
l. NJ. Lass, the derrick boat, was blown
from the banks across the river onto the
sand ar
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Syrup

" have been a great
sufferer from Asth-
ma and severe Colds
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The Monroe doctrine may have an appli-
cation to affairs in Hayti. European powers
are whispering about interfering to stop the
barbarous practices of Hyppolyte.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The German-Jewish Emigration company
declines to send Jewish eXiles to Palestine
instead of to America, on the ground that to
undertake to palate will not solve the Jew
ish problem.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

President Barrillas, of Guatemala, is tax
ing care of his own bank account regardless
of the national treasury. He has sold S.
600, 900 of bonds, instead of the 1000, 600 he
was authorized to sell, and pocketed the
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Storms during the past few days have done
thousands of dollars worth OF damage in
Canton, Ohio, and the surrounding country.
The entire southern portion of Canton was
submerged.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Miss Helen Clark, the Blackfoot Indian
woman recently appointed special allotting
agent, has finished allotting the lands of the
TOnkawa Indians, and will next visit the
Poncas and Pawnees.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

Myriads of hop lice have appeared in the
PuyaIlup valley hop fields in Washington
state and threaten to destroy the hop crop of
the entire valley.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02
A nreat rnanv tnurns snffered much los in

A great many towns suffered much loss in
the late floods in Iowa and Nebraska, but
about the most complete destruction was at
Mov1lle, Iowa, which is completely gone,
and out of forty or fifty houses only one has
been left standing. The people got most OF
their goods out of the way of the flood, but
the homeless crowd of unfortunates are
camping out in the fields.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02
LATEST NEWS.
Condensed for Convenience Of
Hurried Readers.

A special from Hugoton to the Wichita
Eagle says that Sam Wood was killed IN the
presence of his wife.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The floods reported from Iowa also COW
cred a great portion of Nebraska. There
were three washouts between Fremont and
Lincoln. The heavy rainfall lasted twelve
hours, and was accompanied by an electri-
cal storm; very severe at some points: There
are several cases reported of loss OF lie both
by lightning and by drowning.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The Christian University at Nevada, No.,
has been sold to satisfy debt of $50, 600.
1t went very cheap to parties who held the
mortgage.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

The supreme court of Indiana has rem
dered decision to the effect that German
must be taught in the public schools when {
petition signed by twenty-five or more resi-
dents of any school district is presented tC
the commissioner.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-07-02

tornado is reported from the counties OF
Monroe, Metcalfe and Washington in south
ern Kentucky. About fifty farm houses
were swept away and the loss by crops de-
stroyed will amount to $4,000.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24
aamMer yerhGubluHGen,

Die Sammer idritt in Der Sisung pom 81.
%ooidnAor our Scrtiesung Der giogetoIsculfion.
auf Die Semertnng Der Contradiction, Die Re:
gierung motte eineu adten Nibter ON Sejirf5:
seri4te gu 9nremburs ernsnnsn. neil bic BE:
6%lrlnite oies erforoern, meinte Serr Grocius,
bic ReSisrnus ioQe bic Sompetenj Der Srisbsnss
Seri6le, bic befanntlid ni1t binreideub bsi9ai.
ltst ieisn. srpsitern, oann mare Der ieet obrpal=
tenbe uebelitano idnsQ ~beisitiat. S,e Dtebr:
aabI Der SriebeuSri6tsr iaaen, 'fe fOnnteu 81.
ArbeIt speisr Santone bspalti9en. IS mus
alto eripeser Elm adtsr Eidier srnannt ODER biz
@ompetenS Der ~SrieosnSrihter mus erpeiteri
mereen. Der Serr Staatsminiter periprab
bic &nselegenbeit 3u priifsn, ben Staatsratb 3u
befra9en uuo Der 3ammer pielei5t cine biesbs.
Sii9iias @elesporla9e ju lnterbreiten.
Sisan9 pom 20. Sannar: Die @rtifal
yS6lOs 8alieroinseu" (lnterba'D 5000 Sr
,untsrbdlt oes gr0Bb. YalaiS" IN Der Staoi
unb Der anberu Staots9ebduoe 10, 600 Sr.,
auberoroeutiide Arbeitsn an ben StaatseebGus
bep &c, 900 Sr. wutben anSsnpmmsn. Ee3I9:
LID ses Greoites tir SbloB Wa!ferbinSen,
g 10000 SSr.. Iagte Sr. Gen. Dir. 8born, er tonne
betreIfs Der bort seplantsu llmanoernuSen eirit:
Ipailsn nur 8sniSsS iassn: bic grove Srepps
i'm Shloiie lou oeplucirt, cine Waferleitane
far has S6los beidaiit perpsn II. ID.
Ger bisr,u psrlau9ts Grebit purSs anssnom.
nteh, iuIp'e uu9 psiIsh'9e sur SetpsuuH9 poH
Yortrats pon &ilbelm l., H.. III. uIo bss
Nrinjeu. Sei benz aapitel .gemeiRbsbauten-
Durbe Der artitel i!r sewsbniibe Subftos. So
GOO 6r., a%RSsnoMHen, aaBerotH srbielteu biz
@emsinben. siue sor iette gortion ais auBsr9s,
m6bnlI9e Subliois. S0err Rirpah bate bier.
iiir aur $1,000 Sr. perlanet: bic aommsl
bradte bieie offer aui 10000 5r. Or. 6irpat
oanfte Samens Der Semeinoen fir bls CUTE
Stld Staatsfuden uno meiRte, iest t5nnteu
bic @emeinben lire lett Sabrsn aRSsfanseneu
aber nidt poaenoeten grbsiten 81 @noe brin:
gen. Sei benz Sapitsl rSanitdroieHft" emf
ipaun fi) cine lGu9ere Siseuiiion fiber bic Sr.
ridtau9 elmer 2. apot5ets in Der Sabnboi gpe
nue. IA Suremburg.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24
Saar, Woiel, @ifeI unb SuHsrhd.

Erisr. aIs Der S9ifier ). abups
Warrs Bapsr pom ct. Barbara AM AZ.
Sanuar Worsens In isinem sItsrliterp
9auie siueu gtmer Wafer aus benz oIersqa
Drummer mitteIit sines SeiIss beraussietslA
wolte, bate Ct bas rlnsIid, fopfiber w
ben Drummer au ~ffirssn. Der 8srunaIaSsa
tounte aus ieinsr sefdbrli3en Gage b.fzss&
uerbeu. ST bat cine bsosuteube Ounce
am Ropfe erIitteu.
gu Bef9 warb elmer arunen Wittr~
eth Stid Breunbols Dor BITE Saustbar &c,
lest. als Re bas 5oIb In ben Sfsn tsasza
woute, lab fie, baB elm Sod in bas SoIs
sebobrt uub bisies uiber NIT etnsm Sols4
ltopfen 3usei9Iasen NOR. sic i55pfte
8erba9t, baB etwas @sfdbrIidss tn berf
5ola f4 bsfinbe. uub sius bsBbaIb bamia
gum Srtsuorifsber. Dieter unteriu9te
oas 5olB unb faub, baB es nit Spreues
itoff sefaat mar. 5dtte bic Srau baS
9OlB tn ben Sfen ssIest. 10 wdre He isbsn.
faus unslidIt9 geworoeu. Die Sa9e ifs
Der YoIi3si anss3sist.
Sn BaI8em TT ein Sdmfeb BON ,uss
aut i'm Iauernben bortissn giupobusrra
stifodsa wOrbeu. Der Nann iol ssitor~
ben isiu.
Bel Station W tu1ertngeps.
Dor ber @Ormelbinssr Brids, waren rs
prsuBii9e Solbaten (Btontere) bsitdF@
ttst, oas gis ~ ~ipreussu. Die arbeitss
singen bsitens non Staten.
Sn RpIIburs uarb pieI Sdassn
bur4 ben gisgans unb has Stauen tsS
Uafers Der Rpu auseri1tst.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24
sIsembur8ii@es aus Sd8teu.

ArIon. I'm Wittwo1, ben 4. Ss5.,
um balb 10 llbr, warO ber fsierIite Sci:
dsnbienf fir ben periorbensn Brin3sn
BaIbuin in Der ct. Wartinstir1e abses
baItsn. Iae Iatoritdtsn wobutsn benz
isIbsn BET.
gu YieIialm sri9oS f9 aus Tins
pori3tisieit auf Der Bilbsutsniuso Der
S2idbrise gusl0bnsr 9ouis Gbriitopbe.
SIM 8aIbe Bel RobrsHart wurbs Elm
S&msISarbsitsr pom ;usi StroI9su lbsrs
fallen unb s,bisIt sinsn Rsfsrfi4 In Zen
rs9ten Arm..
Gu Nps fnb ON 20. San. ssssn Elm
ubr tss Ra9ts swsi 9itsrSlss ssssnsins
anbsrserannt, bo4 wurbe tstn Rsni4sus
Isbsn sinssbaBt.
ct. Warb. Die 9si9s tss 9sidbr.
8ittor Ottlet wurbe uupstt oes Dortss in
einem Babe s~sfunben.
gu Sobanniss gI9erot babsu
bic @inwObnsr auf elmer Grsibiasb Elm
@ilbi4pein pom $50 pfunb srlest.
WartsItnssu. Gin GROCER Sau.
fen Stsine feel am %. Sunuar auf sineu
Arbsitsr aus &abeIinsen, wel@sr In be,
S9isfersrabe bss Germ Riborn, ,auf bel
@bl~ seIssen, arbettste. Der t1nslldli9s
brad eth Bein unb twsi Rippsn; CT II
feinen UsrIesunsen erIesen. - Beim
S&nees unb @isf&meIssn issts H4 In
Der Na@t pom, "a. auf ben 25. San. sin'
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24

Wenae gisfide DOR BITE aIte Bride, 70 has
bas @ahsr In eine nabeseIessns Stdae
einbrauS. Oas 8ie6 wuroe sIett anbsv2a.
no untsrsebra4t. Our4 S9affsn eintssR,
sewastsr Rdnner seIanS Is, bas gis sls
3sriprensen unb ber Sauer ibrsu frsasz
4auf wisber ~ber3uitsuen.
Girptnsen. Der Prdftsut h@
Sisnenpsrsins ST.. s. g. Dominiep bcS
TN Istten 5ribiabr S5 BtenenuSItsr &C.
babt, iest bat er bsrsn Al, aud bat er Sies,
fen Winter fur 80 5rs. Bisnsuft6ds psrs
fault. Setne Al 86lter baben alto bi.isS
Sabr feline Rotb gu u~srbunsern rnh sn
ertaIten, wie beri9tst warb.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24
Sago ~ S69eret.

gu Soaert iinb bic SIbie sur Sanbplast
9sporeeu unb piro Elm oiiensr 8rie9 oaeeser
Setlbrrt. - Sn SoIidsio iinb in bieism
Niuter % Sintie setobtet wsrbse Die S6use:
ipureu bsweilen. oaB mob immst piele Don bis=
len 9Ibneroieben IN ben SOtlen bieier 0dlbeI
ibr Seim baben. - am 25. Sanuar fam bsI
S6riier Sremer i'm " utiorter Naloe einem
Rubel Nilbi3weine aui Die Spur @r bsnab:
ri6tiste bic SasbpGtter telepbouiib iibsr ieinsn
Sunb unb nuroe Gulo9leid Sasb aut be Dor.
ftentbiere 9emadt, nobel, oanf Der umiidtigen
9eitun9 bes senaunten S6riterS, brei prG6tiss
grun,er i'm @eiammt9ewi6te pon 4-5 9entnel
sur Strede sebra6t wnroen. Das erie Sbier
murbe pon Srn. Sremer ielbit, bas Speite Don
Wabame 8ertbofl aus gursmburs unb bas
brittle pon Srn. 9eisure, Y~leitrin9erbot erlest.
Am 26. Sanudr Selan9 es Serrn I. =.
sleeper aui elmer na6it B olmerin9en
(9otbr.) %absebaltensn Saso bes Srn. Or. Websr
einen pra1ti9en Rebbod, 50 Fiuno wieSsno, ~
erlesen. - gu Saui6leioen erlegte an
~. sSanudr Serr Sor AMI einel Sreibia9o init
einem woblSe;ieltcn S9uiie eiuen 6enler Don
las Yiuno. Derielbe wuroe i'm Sriumpbs in's
Sori sefabren. Rlein nno @roB elite berbsi,
nm bic yeuts su ieben, oenn elm Biloidweir
1T bort lelten 81 ieben. - auf benz Sier,i9Sbere
bi6t bel 9temi3 lab man einen SndS. = guf
Der ON %. Sanuar bel 3itti6 ab9ebaltenen
Sretbiaso 9elans IS benz Sru. Peter 9ebnery,
Sobn oes S~iir9ermeilters, einen 800 Yiuno
i1pe ren Keller gu erle9en.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1891-02-24

gu ps%pptusen bilasisu bic 35 ia:
mtlten oes Oorfes stnen Nrcalperein ,ur
9ebuns bes at:rbaues. Am IL. Sanua,
wurben In ben Soritano sspiSlt: bic
90: NItnaan, prifoeni; g9in'eI,
0ics' ptdtoeut; 6smmsr, Raliter; sri.
&aeIy, S4tiftfabrcr, ano 5sosr,p.si, gsi.
ratb.
Wertert. Erob Der biitersn Rdlts
wtrb INNER heiBig an Der WaHabiuiss
@reuenma4sr @iisnbabn ssbaut.
Us aierbiIIis. Dad lOiabrise
S6bn9sa bss S4iffers g. @irb fant am
II. Sanuar pI0sli4 aaf benz WUisIsiie Elm
The Columbus journal., 1891-01-07

malarial disease, either In the form Of chills
and fever or bilious remittent was particularly
rife, what would be about the best advice you
could give him? We will tell you-to carry
along. or procure on arriving. that potent me-
dicinal safeguard, H0stetter's Stomach Bitters,
known throughout malaria plagued regions.
here and In other countries. as the surest means
Of disarming tho miasnlatic scourse. and rob-
bling Il Of its fell destructive influence. Not
only does 1t fortify the system by increasing its
tamins but ovsrcomes irrssularity of iises-
ton, the liver and the bowels, and counteracts
the unfavOrable effects OF oyer-exertiou, bodily
and mental exposure in rough Weather. or &C.
cupstion too sedentary or laborious, loss of
appetite. and excessive nervousness. The func-
tions Of alimentatiOn, bilious secretion, AID
sleep have In it . most powerful and reliable
auxiliary.
The Columbus journal., 1891-01-07
Ali q Joke.

Watson Haney, . negro ferryman
classically known as Sharon, was ar
raigned before the court.
"Watson." said the judge, you are
charged with . grave ~offense."
"Whut's dat, jedge?"
"You know very we'll what it is
committing an assault upon Harvey
Peters"
IVY, ledge, dat wuz all err joke. Me
an dat man is allus progicin' wild each
udder. All er joke, sah."
you met him in the road and broke
one of his arms with a club. Do you
call that q joke?"
IVY, O. co'se, I does, jedge. Me an
dat man is allus er progicin' wild each
udder. He broke dis heah laig wunst
an l didn't think nOthin' o it ease l
knowed dat it wuz only a joke"
Yes, but after you had broken his
arm you stuck knife into him."
"Yas, sab, but dat WIZ all er joke.
Wv, he hit me wild er AK wunst. l
tells yer, ledge, dat me an dat man is
allus er progicin' wild eacii udder."
Then you dragged him down a bank
and tried to throw him into the river
"Oh, shar, jedge, sec dat yer amt er
pusson whut un'erstan's er joke. Take
me erway frum heah. l doan want ter
progic wild or man whut doan know
| whut fun is. "-Ark6nsG,r Traveller.
The Columbus journal., 1891-01-07
.Josh ~lilltnrs' Philosophy,

0OShh
The time tew be k~arefullest IL when
we hav . hand full ov trumps.
am q poor man, but i hav this con-
solashun-i am poor by aksident, not
desighn.
What an unreal life most folks lead;
they don't ever hsv q genuine taste ov
sorrow during their existence.
How menny people there IL whose
importance depends entirely upon the
size of their hotel bills.
Mother! The holy thoughts and
chastened memories that cluster around
this name can never be so we'll ex-
pressed az in the calm %utterance Ov the
name itself.
1t il a good thing tew be hedstrong.
but it il q better thing tew understand
that a stun wall is q hard thing tew
buk agin.
Mankind amt apt tew respekt very
mutsh what they are familiar with; 1t
il what We don't know, or kant see,
that we banker for.
When i see people ov smaller under
standing extravagantly clothed, l al
WAYS feel sorry for the clothes.
l am just az certain that thsre IL stitch
q thing as Spiritual manifestations"
az l an that thare IL plenty ov super
| stishun and trickery.
Prosperity makes us suspicious oV
| each other, while adversely makes us
| trust in each other. The only way
| that 1 can akount for this IL, that in
prosperity we hav sumthing to lose,
! while in adversely We hav everything
tew gain.
Ikonsider it a CRATE compliment tew
religion that there are only two substi-
tutes for it; one is hipokrasy, and the
other il auperstishun. IN. \. Weekly.
The Columbus journal., 1891-01-07
YOUR MONEY, OR YOUR LIFE!

This question is q ''pert" one. but We
mean it. Will you sacrifice . few paltry
dollars, and save your life? or will YOU
allow YOUR blood to become tainted, and
YOUR system rundown, until, finally, you
are laid away in the grave? Better DC
in time, ard "hold up" your hands for
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
= guaranteed remedy for all scrofulous
and other blOod-taints, from whatever
cause arising. 1t cures all Skin and
Scalp Diseases, Ulcers. Sores, Swellings
and kindred ailments. 1t Is power
fully tonic as well as alternative. or
blood-cleansing, in its effects. hence it
strengthens the system and restores
vitality, thereby dispellins all those
lancuid, stirred feelings" experienced
by the debilitated. Especially has it
manifested its potency in curing letter
Salt-rheum. Eczema, Erysipelas, BoliS-
Carbuncles, Sore Eyes, Goitre, or Thick
Neck. and Enlarged Glands. Worlds
DiSpensary Medical Association, Max
ers. No. 6G3 Main Street, Buffalo, n. \.
The Columbus journal., 1891-01-07
A Sure Cure.0ll.

An old Newport lady is q great be-
lever in coal oil as . cure for every
thing; in fact, as q cure all. she's got
coal oil on the brain. And q few even
ings ago, while some old women friends
were calling Oh her, one of them said:
Il don't krc: what's the matter with
my JOhnny's Anee. It's swelled, and it
makes him so lame he can hardly
walk"
Baltic it witt. coal OIL" said the old
lady; III! guarantee it'll cure it
mother one said: MY Sarah has
such a pain between the eyes,"
well, all she's got to do is to rub it
we'll with coal oil three or four times q
day aud it'll cure her." hastily remarked
the old lady"
"Well." said the third woman, liant
got nobody sick about my house, but il
q body hasn't got trouble one way she's
got it another. All I an do l can't get
my Jenny to stay at home of evenings"
Rub her with coal OIL" said the
old lady. in good earnest, and I'll
guarantee you it'll cure her.r-Ken-
tucky State Journal.