Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-10
PITH AND POINT.

He who chases two hares will catch
neither.
Truth is mighty. but If a good share
of it were not choked into silenc this
would seem but sorry world--Puck-
When a man gets in a towering
passion there is no corresponding ele-
ration in popular esteem.-Boston Cou-
rier.
NO, sir" said the shoe manufac-
turer, II can't sell the goods at that
price; I'm shoemaker, not a freeboot-
er."-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The man with a million dollars has
no trouble in getting married. 1t is
when he wants to be divorced that he
has to hustle.-Philadelph Times
Why He Stayed at Home Alone
Staggers-''You don't look well, Nag
gers Why don't you join your wife in
the eountry?" Naggers-''Becauset the
doctor says must have rest and quiet"
-Munsey's Weekly.
Taking His Due.-Wife-"John.
think see man going through the
pockets of your trousers Husband
go to sleep; it's only the landlord saw
ing me the trouble of paying at the
office brooklyn Eagle.
Paw. dear. don't you think Alger-
non Bufington's academy picture is a
real example of high art?" Yes, do.
The villain wanted to charge me FIVE
dollars for it Art that comes as high
as that is too high for me."-Brooklyn
Eagle.
My dear Miss Snapper" said the
dentist, ~ hope YOU viii excuse the
liberty, but l can not help remarking
that you have a veryasman mouth" II
don't see how you can say that of a
mouth that contains about twenty
acherS"
Warm, isn't it?" said a cool man
to fussy man checking a trunk at
Market street ferry the other day.
Warm cried the fussy man Look
at my back, I'm perspiring like hired
man when the boss is around"'-Phila-
delphia Record.
The average man sneers at the fears
of his tirnid wife when she wakes him
up at dead of night with the cheerful
information that she is sure there is
burglar in the room, but the cold shiv-
ers run up and down his back just the
same.-Somerville Journal.
-Evelina-"Come, Chawley, let's go
home now" Charles-''What for?
Aren't you enjoying the entertain
ment?" Evelina-"Oh, yes. but it isn't
good form to be very much interested
in anything. People won't know but
we are from the country if we stay I'M
til the end "-Chautauqua Herald
Fine Financiering.-Miss Deem
Papa says all must be at an end be-
tween us, Hiram" Hiram-"Why, what
have l done? What's the matter?" Miss
Doem-"Papa has become rich" Hi
raln-"Rich? Why, / heard he had
failed" Miss Doem-"Yes; that's how
he has become rich-"-Cape Cod Item.
-Flatte-''There is one man enjoy
ing the show anyway" Calcium
''What-not the man in the third row."
latte-"Yes-that's he. Why, you
don't seem pleased" Calcium-"Why
should /? That man is Fakes, the
critic, and the harder he laughs at a
play the rougher he is on it the next
morning. boston Post.
At a Manitou Hop.-Blazer-sT
want you to love me; but / regret to
say j am only poor man. Still have
a rich old uncle. but he enjoys good
health Miss Piaza-''Married?"
BIazer-"No." Miss Plaza latter a
pausel-"Well, my dear friend, it would
be stupid to plunge into misery. Be
sensible--forget me-and do introduce
me to your uncle before night. st.
Louis Republic.
Miss Hijee didn't sing to-day" re-
marked friend to the leader of the
choir of the Church of Offertory. mo,
she has resigned" Il thought she had
''She was offended about the selection
of an anthem which she had to lead off
last Sunday, and vowed she'd resign
sooner than sing it, and she did"
That's odd What was the anthem?"
ut began. 4 have been young and nov
am old Epoch.