The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-25
BRIGHT BITS.

SHE-Did you cross the ocean last summer as
usual, Mr.. Perkins?
Pernns-Yaas, twice. Once going and once
weturning.-Harper's BdzGr.
ToM-Do you intend to make any new resohi-
tons next yearS
Jack-No; intend to use the old ones over
again.-Ydn Blade.
THE MAJoR-Why so salubrious, D'Aubers
The Painter-My paintings have just been de-
clared dutiable at the custom house as objects
OF art, old fellow Puck. "a - s~
REsrGuRAEf wAirss 10 Mr.. ctover)-Aheml
Anything, sir. for the waiter, slrg
Mr.. Clover (rising from table)-Sarrin. Take
all there is left; I'm stuffed.-Jitd0e.
THERE are twenty six portraits of Columbus,
and not one OF them Is tintype. Christopher
was very cautious as to what kind of art he
ACCOMPLISHMENTS Courter-JournGl
MISTRESS Bridget, did you wind the clock?
Servant-Im atther giyin' it a couple O. turns.
don't bs afther windin it to run beyant the
time o. me notice. mum.-Jel0eIer'S Weekly.
81 SEE, said the manager to the playwright,
that there is a part in this piece you call
Adam. VINO is he?"
20, he's the first citizen, of course. Judge.
(WHICH rose will you chooseS'' she said;
''One means yes. the other mo-"
One was white, the other red;
One meant bliss the other woe.
The beating of my heart was hushed.
Aloud wondered: How the deuce
Am to choose arghti" She blushed.
The one You take means yes you goose"
Tom Hall.
PENELoPE-It's awfulIy mean of the men to
say that you are just like us girls.
Dicky-Oh, don't mind it, You know.
Penelope (quickly)-Yes, but we do.-Brookiyn
Life. f.I -
Mrs. HES-Why don't you come out from
under the barn? They are throwing corn out and
all the fowls are there.
Mrs I am here for nv
health at this time of year. -MtnnedpoLts Jour
nal. Jsa
DYING Wife, want you to promise me that
you will marry again, John.
Husband-Do YOU really wish it?
Dying Wife-YeS; L don't want people to say
l was the means Of souring you on my sex.
IndtGnGDolIS Journal.
''IF YoU have minute to spare" began the
peddler, If SHOULD like"
Every minute of my time, sir" said Mr..
Skinnphlint. severely lis worth within small
fraction of four cents. Close the door as you
go out Chicago Tribune.
az USED to have the sweetest, prettiest little
typewriter in the world. =" he said with a sigh.
"What became of herr" inquired his sympa-
| thetic friend.
80, | married her," and he sighed again
more profoundly than before.-Detroit Ere
| Press
Young GUEssNoF--I thought you were adver-
tising great sale Of popular pricess
| Old Isenstein-Und 80 vas.
| Guessnot-Do you call these popular prices!
| They're good deal higher than they used to be.
Isenstein Mine fre t, ven l says bobular
prices, knows vat | say; / never dry any
| brices vot suits me peter. a-
OLD LADY--No use talkin', I used to say this
| higher education of gals was all folderol; but
see was wrong There's my grandfather, for
instance. She's just wonder. ~'
| Friend understand she graduated with
| high honors.
| NI5 7 - W. -. S.,ntad f-ow,. Toza.. a.. 4
i she kin do what neither her mother nor me
could ever hope to do if our lives depended on
It,
| Friend-Indeed! And what is that?
| Old Lady-She kin tell the time a train is 60
ing to start by lookin' at a railway guide.-Nett
| York Weekly. g. &s