Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-06-12
HUMOR OF TIE DAY.

A trunk line-'Haudlc with care"
Bound to fill drunkard's gravc-Tho
seXton.-Puck.
The man who deems his house his cas-
tic has the moat in his eye.
Death is wonderful mimic. He can
take anybody Off Bin9aamton Leader.
One of the creates. of home comforts
is the shirt which isn't made ut home.-
Puck.
If you want to flatter man, tell him
nc can't be ilattered. Piilalcyphia
Times.
A stroke of misfortune-Thc one VIC
have all along been using against Yale"
-IMrC@I Lampoon.
The fact that riches have wings NAV
DC the reason that they enable man 70
"hy high."- Washington Post.
Thgcolleges are not quite gone daft
over athletics. They are still in posses
sion of their faculties.
There is nothing a man enjoys more
than complaining of his great response
bilities. Indianapolis Journal.
els your teacher big mani" "Strap.
PIN" murmured Johnny, as he uncon.
sciously felt of the sore spot.-Haroard
Lampoon.
Judge-"What do you do during the
week.. Tramp-"Nothing." land
on Sunday?" Then take day Off. "
-Terus Sifings.
Teacher-"How would you describe
Henry VIII. of England1" Student
81 would describe him as n professional
widower. "-Harper's Basar.
Before you start out to attain a seat on
the highest pinnacle of fame bear in
mind that it runs up to pretty sharp
point.-Indiaaapolis Journal
The men who do not agree on any pos.
siblc points of doubt are the ones that
seem to find tie most pleasure in each
others society Washington Post.
Along the shore tic city girl
Will soon he making freckles,
And to the hotel her papa
Will ante up tn, shekeis.
Cloak Lericir.
"Some people" said clever observer,
speaking of AT ovc.senstive friend the
other day, "leave their feelings lying
around for other people to step on
Boston Trarcllor.
They were talking about trees. "SIy
favorite," she said, sis the oak, 1t is
so noble, so magnificent in its strength.
But what is your favorte?" "Ycw," he
replied. -PhtsJurg Di,patch.
There is man in Atchisoa who is
always good and kind and thoughtful
of others, but he never gets any credit
for it. He is so homely that people seem
to expect goodness OF him. -.1tclison
(Ean.) Globe.
How hard it is to believe man after
we have been lying 70 him ourselves. 1t
has sometimes happe led that an habitu-
ally untruthful man ha, kept up his
reputation after deata by lying in state.
-7lras !Sytings.
Metamorphosis: An eminent surgeon
says that with four cuts AMI few stitche.
be can alter mans face so his own
mother would not know him. Any news.
paper can do that with Only one cut
CIeceland Pain Dealer.
"Clara became old all.ic;t in moment
the other night" "Nonsense." "Noi
at all. She WINS sitting in the parIo,
with her young man when her father en-.
tered. Her youth departed immcdi-
ately."-Ne,o Yorc Sun.
Like a womanm Like mnnp
But discriminate who can?
Lists TO truth all hoGiage render.
Own, if we would be precise
Every weakness, every VICE
All are of one common gender.
Puck.
What did the lawyer say to you,
Bridget" "He nxcd me did 1 know
there was brass enough in me face tc
make q good sized kettle, and told him,
shurc, thin there was sauce enough in
his tongue to fill it, the oull haythen."
Chicago Me'os.
"For all we know there really may be
q man in the moon" said the leathe,
drummer. "There is" said the hard.
ware drummer, who was still Indignant
over having been sent to the top floor
81 leaned out of my window and had
quite talk with him last night. "-ln.
~. y