The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-07
suNFLowER s1LHoUErrEs.

saved to the Republican party OF Kansas
| by sending him to Europe.
1t is often said of Mrs. Lease that among
Kansas women she is the most familiar
| figure. figure of speech.
| George Peck is one Kausan who does not
have to cross the ocean TO get the reputa-
ton of being abroad Dlan.
! PETER passed the hata one of his Texas
meetings and received bone collar button
and five tickets on a local barber shop.
| 1t is of purely humane consequence that
ex-senator ingalls, latest utterance on
prohibition does not contain any Pat
Coney sacrifice
| This month with all the grain harvested
and the corn entirely made should be one
of merry-making and levity in Kansas, but
still it is August.
The Alliance will get so put out with
the Democrats pretty soon that they will
fuse with the Republican party to beat the
Democratic party.
The coachman who drove Charlie Scott
to White Chapel in London had lived IN
the big town all his life, but had never
heard of Jack the Ripper.
The fact that PETER is talking of
"Wall street dragon" gives rise to the sus-
picion that the Texans have been prevail
ing upon the old mans conviviality.
Bill Higgins has declared against pro-
hibition. Mr.. Higgins is man who can
sniff zephyr mile off. Once when he
said that corn would so up to % cents
bushel it reached co.
The Alliance editor wrote, Now is the
time to subscribe" but the man who put
it in type and read the proof was a Re
publican, and saw that it went into the
paper Now is the time to subside."
"What are those hogs squealing about?"
asked the conductor of a Kansas stock
train of the brakeman. Il don't know,
I'm sure" replied the brakeman carelessly.
unless it is because the company lets
Jerry Simpson ride in a coach"
1t seems to worry a good many people
that Jerry Simpson has grown SO quickly
into fame. 1t might be well to remember
that the young man who was cured OF the
seven years scratch and whose picture we
see every day in a patent medicine adver-
tisement is famous, too.
Two ragged fellows were walking along
a narrow path. The one behind took an
apple from his pocket and offered it to his
companion, saying: Have some apple,
Jack" Heavens" said the other, as he
turned around and his countenance fell,
what adisappointment Iwish my name
was John or jim"
Apropos of the exodus of Prof James H.
Garfield from Kansas, it may be well to
preserve one of his stories, says VIII
White, OF the Ell Dorado Republican. The
professor who is always on the look out
for facts and figures relating TO social con-
ditions, once interviewed the Lawrence
street car drivers on their wages and
hours. He got doleful story about four
teen hours work for eight hours pay;
finally the professor mildly suggested
strike. To which the car man responded:
Strike? strike? Its a hell av Infatuated
mob two men would make ragin' down
MasSychewthetS street, now amt itS"
A Kansas man was showing his brother
from back east" over the fair ground.
AS they approached some watermelons,
that would have crowded a big tub, with
q placard over them proclaiming their
variety as 1.-The little gen." the Kansas
man said: 1--WE don't want to see
these little things, let us go into the |
apartment where the big blue ribboned !
melons are" A minute later there were !
cries for the crowd to make room and a
rush for cold water. And as the eastern |
man was borne out, pale and feeble, some |
of the unknowing ones said it was sun
stroke.
There is one sub-Alliance in Sedgwick |
county that is pledged to secrecy ona mat |
ter that is not strictly political. Some |
time ago young man of good address put |
in an appearance in the neighborhood and |
claimed TO be an Alliance orator. There |
had been no previous announcement of his /
visit, but as he seemed conversant with |
the current issues of the third party, he
was taken in and a rousing big meeting
got up for him. He appeared before the
crowded school house. His address ran
this way. Fellow citizens: There is no
one more than myself who feels the neces-
sity of third party action by you farmers
You have been told by the old party poll
ticians that the way to do was to take your
demands to the Republican party. You
did this. 1t did no good You were told
to support the Democratic party. You did
this. 1t was no better. There must be
some help for you. The farmer is In bad
condition. He needs toning up. That is
what l am going TO speak tOyOu about"
The speaker had become warmed up by
this time, and at this juncture he reached
down and placed an open valise on the ia
ole before him. He then continued:
Il want to show you tonight a simple
Now, here is a bottle of DR.
Curem great eradicator, cures bOils. bun
ons corns, blotches, pimples and removes
oirth-marks just the thing for the farm.
No household should be without one.
Here it is, gentlemen: Who will be the
first TO buy: Only ten cents, remember.
[ will add this electric brush and box OF
these flexible fine-tooth combs to this bot
lie as an inducement TO the first pur-
chaser Come up, gentlemen" But just
then a rock knocked the bottle out Of his
hand and in the next minute the air was
Iull of missiles. Two hours later when
The fakir stopped to take breath in the
next township. he had no shirt left; bis
coat was in tatters. both eyes were
BACKED and be had a scalp wound On his
head two inches long His scheme didn't
work.
TIE CUBAN RECIPROCITY TREATY.
From the New Orleans I!rzes-Democra.
After some delay the reciprocity treaty