Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-20
EASY.

Webb-The ease with which you politi clans eat crow is wonderful. Harbody- My dear fellow, we do it for the good of the caws.
 ''Nixon seems like such a dull sort of fellow. Does he ever crack jokef Has to-always. Can't see into it if he does not.-Kate Fields Washington.
 "Why, Casper, this isn't bit the kind of house I supposed you would build"
 "No, I'm rather surprised myself, but the architect is very well satisfed."- Truth.
 s. S. Teacher-Some of the giants of olden times had six fingers on each hand.
 Jimmy Ia pupil nothin'. Some of de New York Giants has five thumbs Puck
 "Uncle Rastus," said the judge, severe ly, Chow did you get those chickens!"
 "Judge," cried the. prisoner, "yo wouldn't have me gib up nah trade secret, would yo', jedges"
 ''This liver is awful, Maud" said MT. Newwed.
 ''I'm very sorry" returned the bride. 'Ill tell the cook to speak to the liveryman about it"-Harper's Bazar.
 At Bar Harbor-He (to Boston girD- You are 'up' on geology. Can you tell me what kind of rocks these are we are sitting on? Boston Girl-To the unengaged they are trap; to the engaged they are gneiss." Life
 Miss Flora Wall (to dealer)-You guaran- tee this cement to be good, do you9 Dealer-Yes, ma'am. You could mend a broken heart with that cement. Miss Flora Wall-I'll take three bottles. Puck.
 Judge-Gentlemen of the jury, your verdict is not in accordance with the evi- dence.
 Foreman-May it please the court, the evidence was not in accordance with the ! facts.-Puck.
 She-So you are engaged to four girls at once! How are you going to get out | of it?
 He-I don't want to get out of it. How the deuce am going to stay ina That's | what's bothering me.-Life. He Himself Has Said It.-Mr. Bloo- l bumper-There's nothing egotistical about l Goslin.
 Miss Dollie (sarcastically) l MT. B.-I heard him say yesterday that he hated fool.-Brooklyn Life. l Old Lady-Doctor, do you think there is anything the matter with my lungsa" Phy' | sician (after careful examination)-I find, | madam, that your lungs are III uorlnal condition. Old Lady (with sigh of resig- nation)-And about how long can expect | to live with them in that condition?-Phsr. maceutical Era.
 Gen. Longstreet says that on one of the long night marches in Virginia, the only way he could get rest was to lie down or the ground while the column was passing and sleep for an hour or so. He woke ur just as the stragglers were coming along the rear, and heard an old Georgia cracker soliloquizing about the situation "I lovt my country and I'll fight for it, and I'll di' for it, and I'll go naked and barefooted fol it, but when this war is over. I'll be cursed if ever love another country. ."-Argo naut.
 Lawyer-Now, Mir. Costello, will yol have the goodness to answer me, directl.
 and categorically, few plain questions
 Witness-Yes, sir. Lawyer-Is there fe
 male at present living with you who i
 known in the neighborhood as Mrs. Cos tel1o2 Witness-Yes, sir. Lawyer-Hav | you ever been married to her. Witness
 No, sir. (Here several jurors scowlet
 gloomily at the witness) Lawyer-That i
 all, MT. Costello; you may go down. Op posite lawyer-One moment, Mir. Costello Is the lady in question your grandmother
 Witness-Yes, sir.-Chicago Legal Advif