The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-09-20
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otherwise comical genius. 1t is degree
which has been repeatedly conferred upon
the Hon. Artemus Ward, E. William Nye
Mark Twain and Ward McAllister," re
turned Professor Smith, land you have
given indications that you are yourself not
to receiveit. Can show you anything else
today sir, a-that-is-ah-is- there-ah-
anything further you young gentlemen wish
to know about?"
The professor blushed because his lapse
into the lingo Of the dry goods business
might arouse suspicion that he had not al
ways been a scholar. WAS Dido related
to Aeneas'' asked a special student who
had left Harvard for his health. YES"
returned the professor shortly, having
barely recovered from his embarrassment.
"Aeneas promised Dido that she should be
sister to him, and the record shows that
Aeneas always fulfilled his contracts. Any
thing morel''
"How do you pronounce Popacatopill1"
asked the captain of the football team, no.
ticing that the professors nervousness
made long words rather difficult for him to
enunciate.
Volcanic" said the professor, with a
glance at his watch.
'tMuch obliged, SIR" returned the captain
of the football team; 'but l meant what do
you consider the proper pronunciation Of
the wordf'
"Worcesters 5, psaid the professor
"And what is thatt" queried the captain
persistently.
Really, nv dear SIR" demonstrated the
professor. "You should remember that
this is not primary class. You ought to
have known before entering college that
| that in this instance is pronoun.n
! At this the student who aspired to be val
edictorian laughed. He and the captain of
the football team did not get on very well
together, and it refreshed his weary spirit
| to hear the athletic salutatorian taken down
few dozen pegs. The captain relapsed
into moody silence, which BODIED i'll for
the captain of the Red Bank university
football team, against whom
THE KINNEBUNKPoRT PLAYERS
were to contend that afternoon, and the
professor winked slyly at the janitor of the
building who happened to be standing in
the doorway at the moment. He made al
the same time a memorandum that should
remind him when examination day came
around that the persistent football player
was good man to funk.
II should like to be informed, professor, u
said the matter of fact student from Cam
den, from what the term His Nibs' was
derived"
81 am glad you have asked that question, y
returned the professor after a moments
was an indication that the Camden stu
dents question had ratified him, but whict
the fourth valedictorian's point of view
merely showed that the professor was
man who thought twice before he spoke
once"
YES" said the professor again. 81 an
glad you have asked that question, because
it involves point about which L am glat
to have questions asked"
The football captain shifted at this, but
the professor ignored the fact and went on
''It enables ME to impart to you bit Of
information he said, (which has hitherto
escaped the argus eye of the educated
world. His Nibbs' is a term of Indiar
manufacture-thougn not derived from any
Indian woodland signifies serene hiRhpess
1t was applied first by them to William
Penn, the title of Nibbs being suggested b.
the famous Quaker's surname. 1 prefer
that you should keep silent. however, or
this topic for some weeks. Yet, since the
information l have given you is entirely
original with myself, and owing to the fac
that my library is now stored beyond my
reach in california, along with my shaving