Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-09-22
MR.. AND MRS. BoWsER.
II Makes Quite Difference Which One
of the Two Il Sick.

II Makes Quite Difference which one
of the Two Il Sick.
When Mr.. Bowser comes home and finds
his wife lying down with her head tied up,
he is real sorry for her. Of course-just as
sorry as any husband could be. And, like
any other husband, he stands and surveys
her for moment and then bluntly says:
Il expected It'll Finally got fat down,
eh"
Its nothing" she family replies.
"Ohl it isn'tl Nothing for wife to flop
down and upset the whole house, sup
posel Well, I've been looking for it the
last three months, and SO I'm not much
surprised. Mrs. Bowser. it's a wonder to
me that you or any other woman in New
York is out of her coffinr'
Its only-only headache, dear"
Yes, only headache; but what do head
aches lead tor If you are not a dead wom-
an before Saturday night you may consider
yourself lucky. Didn't warn you not to
sit in draft, not to wear thin shoes, not
to eat too much in warm weather.? Little
good it does to talk to womanP'
You can't help ailing occasionally" she
replied, as she got up to wet the bandage
around her head.
Mrs. Bowser, look at mep' he said, as
he struck an attitude and held one hand
aloft. when am ever ailing? When do
you hear me complaint Never! And why
is it2 Because, Mrs Bowser-because
don't cram my stomach with watermelon,
buttermilk, gumdrops, custard pie, sweet
cake, ginger ale, and all that! Because
don't go around with my feet sopping wet!
Because know enough to come in when it
rainsl Because exercise little common
sense in taking care of myseifP'
Your dinner is ready"
And Pm ready for dinner. A healthy,
happy person is always ready for his meals.
You won't try to get up. l SUPPOSED"
Not now"
well, you have only yourself to blame.
You may learn in time, but doubt it. I'd
like to find one woman with about two
ounces of horse sense in her head before |
die, but / don't expect to do it. Well, it
can't be helped, l suppose. The Lord
made you that way, and it's no use to ar
que"
Mr.. Bowser eats his dinner, smokes his
cigar and sings and whistles as if the
slightest noise didn't go through her ach-
ing head like bullet 1t never occurs to
him to fan her, wet the bandage or ask if
she can't sip cup of tea. 1t does occur to
him, however, tc say, about bedtime;
Pm sorry, of course, but then you must
have more sense. Fll go up to bed and
you can come when you get ready. If you
are going to kick around much, you'd bet
ter sleep in the spare room"
Now and then the tables are turned
Mr. Bowser comes home to lunch, drag
ging his legs after him and looking pale
and scared.
What's the matter?" asked Mrs. Bow
ser, as soon as he steps into the house.
SCOT a sore throat and feel feverish
IL think Pm going to be sickl'
She doesn't call out that it's just as she
expected and declare that no Husband in
New York has sense enough to look out
for his health. She knows he was out in
draft in his shirt sleeves, but she doesn't
even mention it. On the contrary, she re-
marks:
Try and eat little something and then
lie down. You'd better gargle your throat
and then tie it up"
do you-you think its anything seri
ous?" he whispers, as he grows paler.
81 hope not, but it's best to be on the
safe side You are subject to quinsy. you
know, and spinal meningitis begins just
this way"
Il believe Pm going to die." gasps Mr..
Bowser, and he grows so weak that she
has to take off his coat and vest ard get
him on the lounge. Everything about the
house is ordered to go on tiptoe, and even
the cat is put out and the clock stopped.
After his throat has been tied up, his shoes
taken off and quilt thrown over him Mr..
Bowser plaintively inquiries:
;uly hot fnr
doctor?"
Not just yet, dear don't think it's
very serious"
Mrs. Bowser l believe Pm already
struck with DEATH"
NONSENSE You've Just got little in
fammation Of the tonsils"
"Pve felt for some days as if great ca
lamity hung over this household. Hadn't
we better have two doctors?"
Just try and get to sleep. Mr.. Bowser,
and I'll warrant you'll feel better by
night"
'Ahl how suffer-" he groans. "You
may be a widow before the week is out. !
hope you will always be kind to our child.
l have tried to be good husband, and
and"-
Mrs. Bowser lays her hand on his fore
head tenoerly, ana the Tears come TO his
eyes and he suddenly becomes great big
BOBBY She has to hold his hand to get
him to sleep, and when he wakes up he
wants tea and toast and jelly and he is as
petulant as sick baby until finally put to
bed. He Is new man when he awakes in
the morning, and when she asks after his
throat he replies:
"Throat-humph. Mrs. Bowser. for
about five hours yesterday I was lowering
between life and death. Had it been you
you would have died ten times over. but
grit pulled me through"
"Gritp
"Yes. nd-pluck-Spartan cour-
age and fortitude. let none Of you know
how bad l actually was, but just shut my
teeth and determined to live and here is
the result of it. Ali Mrs. Bowser, if you
only had hundredth part Of my courage
and will power you'd be far different wo
man from what you are nova far differ
ent womanr'-M. Quad in New York
World.
Perils of City Kite Flying.
wonder what the boy who reels of
thousand feet of kite string across the
QaIl Il Il