The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1891-01-16


was very doubtful. but | caught a
glimpse Of one Of the farm labor
ers advancing with pitchiork and
gave desperate jerk. 1t was too
much for he strongest cloth, and,
leaving the torn portion IL the
dogs possession. | bounded away
toward The barnyard fence. But l
discovered in lime that | was
charging upon The couched pitch
fork of the servant, and, turning
quickly to he right, took flying
leap over the garden wall. I'M
luckily | attempted 10 fly without
wings; my feet caught in the
stones and | turned somersault
into the garden.
Instead Of falling upon the grass
| diyed headforemost into a straw
beehive. The beehive went over
on the gronnd AMI | followed but
The bees were the first to pick
themselves up, and when | arose
upon my feet there was a whole
colony ready 10 lie upon me.
They swarmed in my hair, and
crawled under my clothing until |
was frantic. The more | stamped
and beat and raved the more they
siung me. AT last gave a stamp
Of tremendous force; my tight pat
ent feathers burst, and just as my
feet protruded at he sides | step.
ped in The overturned hive. |
might as well have stepped into
The fire; the little tormentors
stung my feet, and | danced like
the bear upon the hot plates and
for the same reason.
| was still wildly beating the
air, when | perceived all The farm
servants, whom my shouts had
aroused, charging in body. They
shouted "Thief,n and flourlshed
their weapons, and | began 10 think
Of leaving that neighborhood in IA
hurry. But | was determined up
on revenge. | could not be slung
any W orse than | was: so grasp
ed the hive that stood upon the
bench and hurled it INTO the crowd.
had the pleasure of seeing il
drop upon the brolher's head like
"A huge hat, and 10 see the individ-
ual throw it off and roll upon the
ground in anguish. | never de-
rived so much !easure from hear
ing person swear before.
could hear my pursuers breath.
ing hard near me. and expected
every moment to feel the spikes of
the piichiork behind, when |
stumbled over a stone and fell
headlong into The river. The men
behind, unable 10 check them
selves, followed, and the next mo-
ment we were all struggling in the
water.
1t was not deep, and was the
best accident that could have hap.
pened 10 me, as it rid me of the
bees. | soon arose and scrambled
up the steep bank, where | stood
10 look around. In one place a
head appeared above The water !;
in another pair of feet kicked in
The air without any visible owner.
Hats, pitchforks and men were
mixed in confused heap, while
all plunged and pufl,ed like a shoal
of porpoiSes. Although | was
smarting with pain the scene was
too ludicrouS 10 be gazed on with
a sober countenance, and laughed
until | could roar no longer.
But when | reached my rooms |
did not feel so well. | knew that
| had lost Agnes forever, besides
the heavy sum for the gig and the
new suit. My face was swelled
for many days, and | could not
leave the house. To be sure some
of The neIghbors had witnessed
the battle, and when 1t was shown
how had punished them | was
quite hero among my friends.
Praise, however, did not replace
The missing money, and Agnes
would not speak 10 me in the
street. So | was wrelched.
l am now a confirmed bachelor,
and | look with a thankful heart
upon the chaos of booljacks and
boots in my room without the
least desire 10 change my condl-
lion. | look upon all widows as
attractive destroyers, and my ex-
perience has been such as TO con-
firm my hatred of The sex. of
course all who think different are
welcome 10 be ieltered, but if /
was to choose between hanging
and winning a widow | would Sc
lect the least of The evils and pat
ronize the execut;oner. Agnes is
still a widow, and her brother Is
married and | hear, with great sat
isfaction, that he Is henpecked.