The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-17
BRIGHT BTTSI

IT'S MONEY, money money all the time"
growled MIR. Myser. Nothing but money"
I'm glad to hear that" remarked Mrs NJ,
meekly. I'D begun to think it was money at
no time. One hundred dollars will do me this
morning. "-HG,pePs Bazaar.
Do NOT repine because the strawberry box
has its bottom so near the top. If the boxes
contained more berries they would contain
more acid and more grit No, my dear sir or
madam, you have no reason to complain, but
rather TO reJolce.-Boston Transcript.
ELLA-You're just the person I've been want
ing to help me pick out an engagement present
Tor Miss De Gush. VINO is to marry Mr.. Softleigh.
What would you suggest?
Bella-Don't you think lovely spoon would
be most Appropriated Chicago Times
LANDLORD Csuspicouslyl-You are an actor,
You say. What is your role?
Boothby Ham am playing the heavy, sir
Perhaps you took me for a supe?
LandlordNo. From the size of your ward
robe fancied you might be doing Cleopatra
Judge.
CHoLLE-Awthaw seems to be really cut I'D
over the death of that rich uncle of his
Dollie-But it wasn't the witch one It was
the poor One-the bookkeeping fellow you
know-the one that Awthaw used to borrow
money from, don't you know.-IndianapoLs
Journal
1--WE GREAT NOTION to take a try at the
drama myself" said the bearded lady.
"Wot you goin' to play?" queried the fat
woman
~ haven't made up my mind yet whether to
tackle Virginius' or Camille. Indiana polls
Journal.
ALGERNoN ION the steamer, saying good by to
Ethel. in whose eyes he imagines he sees pro
spect!ve tears)-Now, keep up, little girl, Keep
up.
Ethel KeepupY Now, tell me. do you think
there is really any danger of our going downY
Boston Courier.
VERY BAD Boy (who has been playing truanD
VI hat was de text dis mornin Jimmy | has
ter tell der folks when get home, or else they'll
suSpeC SOmefin's wrong.
Good Little Boy (who is never absent)-It was
Go to your aunt and get slugged,' an I tell
you the sermon was fine-Life.
How MANY children have you?' a wag was
once asked by person whose intellect was not
his strong point.
II have three sons, " was the reply. and each
of them has four sisters"
Good graciousl" exclaimed the other in
amazement. "Why, that makes fifteenN'-Fr-
change.
Mas. DoGooD-I believe that tramp is coming
in here; bring me that anti-tramp pie,
Weary Willie-I rate to do it. Ma'am: but Won
Will understand that my motives are not
malicious
Mrs Dogood- to do whatY
Weary Wnlie-Take this pie before the grand
jury. Puck.
MIsLED-Mr. Jason threw down his paper and
calculated Bah"
What's the matter. Jehielf" asked his wife.
20 nothing. just started to read something
here about How to Manage Scraps 1t was one
of those fool household receipts instead of
sporting matter, as had supposed. "-Indidn-
GpOliS journal
LITTLE PEOPLE have peculiar notions and
original ways of expressing them. One of the
clergy at the Christian endeavor convention in
Portland had this to relate in illustration sbout
the small boy at his home-aged about and a
half-who had been out Shoveling snow:
did it make your back ache, my sonY'
Moo, responded the small boy in the most
approved base ball tone
Did you ever have the back ache?" continued
the fond parent
mo, but I've had the front ache. "-Kenrebec
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