davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
sURDerrE's PHILOSOPHY.
AUTuMNAL PRoCKssIoNs.

AUTU1NA PROFESSIONS.
 With shout and din and noise and roar, nke waves that beat up on the shore. with noise and roar and shout and din. like angry breakers tumbling In. with batter. ing rush of many feet, see the crowd come down the street; above the tumult on the stones hear the maddened farm. CTS groans; in the shrill accents of de. spair, 1t seems to me hear him swear; cannot see the farmer man, his wagon or his patient span; l only hear the rising noise, and see the surging throng of boys; this is the way the boys of town escort the apple wagon down.
 A SOVEREIGN. -,.r
 A young man. with the breezy air and the pure, fresh odors of lawn and hillside about his vernal figure. came to town Friday morning. and. growing aweary three-quarters of c mile before he caught couldn't get in. He braced up, turned the badge of his marching club out where all men might see 1t, and said that the proud and naughty. the pampered darlings of fortune, the princes and kings and the mighty ones of earth might Tide in the street cars If their groveling souls wished 1t. but for him, he was free born and would walk the earth erect as one whs trod his own domain and paid tribute to no man, ha, hal And, SO saying, he wrapped the drapery of the sidewalk about him and lay down to dreamless dreams.
 C0DIFY YOUR LAWS
 Tommy Is starting to school; at the door, seeing him of. his mamma: "Now, Tommy, don't loiter on the way; -aent play with the Benneker boys; don't loiter after school; don't play rough games; don't whisper in school; don't take of your overcoat if the room Is cold; don't play running games and get overloaded; don't sit with George Gunter; don't play with Henry Tuffboy; mind and don't go out at recess, stay in and read your book; don't let the other boys wear your hat; don't - don't - don't" - Tommy fades away around the corner. where Henry Tufboy. George Gunter and the Bennekers are waiting for him; as they chase of down the street after flying fire engine Tommy remarks: "It's good thing for the children of Israel that mother wasn't Moses; they'd never got of with ten commandments" Moral: Don't give your boy more orders than you can remember.
 Yesterday afternoon well dressed man came out of a large dry goods store who was instantly taken In charge by the police He was trembling violently, evidently suffering from heavy chill; his lips were pinched and blue and his countenance ivid; his teeth chattered so that he could not talk; he was hurried to the station and applications of hot blankets and other hot things thawed him out presently until he could tell how it happened. He had called saleslady Q shop girl. Fortunately he had presence of mind to run out of the store before she could give him second look, else had 1t been good-by. John.-R }. Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
His Daughter. - 0, We'll Married,

A German banker, travelling by rail in a first class carriage toward Vienna, had as a fellow traveller at one of the intermediate stations an old gentleman, who entered into conversation and proved very pleasant. The banker got out before his companion, and before he did so asked the latter how far he was going. The gentleman replied to Vienna.
 "1 have daughter very well married there," said the banker "I should like to give you note of iI troduction to her."
 "I have also daughter very well married there," said the other.
 "Would it be too great liberty to ask the pame2" said the banker.
 My daughter" the gentleman answered "is married to the emperor of Austria" y
 It was the cid king of Bavaria.-Court Journal
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Fixed Him.

Miss Horter (who is extremely sensi- tive)-1f you care anything for my feel ings. wish you would go over and ask that low bred man to stop staring at me-
 MT. Leohart-Why didn't you speak of It beforeY I'll teach the dastard lessonl (Marches bravely over.) Good evening. MT. Shears; I've had some trouble mak. ing collections, but I'll settle that little account early next week. Fine evening, isn't itf Comes back.) think the coward won't trouble you again, Miss Hoyter.-Time.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
A Thrilling Tale.

Modjeska is writing e story. It is a love story. The heroinc's name Is Grisel. davitch Topplewatchkitzky and the hero's Vladimir Tschezarotsh. The scene is laid in the quiet little Polish village of Stir. ritupitvis on the banks of the classic river Muddioschky. in the region of the Kotzebutizelosky mountains We extract . passage from advance sheets Within her wan hands she had her face concealed, when to her Vladimir asked if she truly lofe him. Yea, 1 do lofe thee; by wonder bale moon I adjure it. Let us, then, said he, 'Hee.' But she hesitated by req. son of her trunks. which were still un. packed. The tears wandered from her eyes, but meanwhile Vladimir repeated what for she would not be coming pretty soon, not having been aware of tho gash the words of him made on the inside of her heart. Troy Times.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
History a Ia Ignatius Donelly

Will Shalsespeare-Please, sir, the manageI h'of the Globe theatre wants his new play,
 Lord Bacon-How soonl
 "H'at once, sir, for tonight"
 "To-nights Great St. George! how does he expect me to finish my Organum, write my public speech, get ready for that trial and write him play all in one dayT"
 "H'I don't know, sir, but he wants the. title right away so he can put it on the bills. {" "Well, I'll do it. Let-me-see. Tell hir the title will be Hamlet. '"-Omaha World
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
THE LIME KILN CLUB.

"Will Moses Jumbo Comeback plense s,ef siiis ways" asked the president. as tns u,es, ing opened.
 quiet but deeply interested member of ti.. club for the past few years, advanced to thf desk, and Brother Gardner continued:
 Moses, Earn dat you am on de pint O reuaovin' to Iilinoy.n
 ' "Yes, sah."
 "You will take your certificate 'loug vi you, an yoI will keep your membership wit - ns Jist the FaIue; an any time you kin rais money huff to take freight train an curf p an sec US you will find hostile welcome }
 "Yes, sah-I1e much obleeged, sah," re viicd Moses, as he wiped tear from his eyo
 "An' now want to say few furder wordi to you, resumed the president after solemn pause. "You am gwine to cut loose an sai in de company of strangers, an dar' am { few things you would do well to remember
 Remember, dat a lawyer will work harder to c'lar murderer dan he will to convict | thief.
 Remember, dat naybur who offers yop de loan of his hoe am fshin' round to securs de loan of your wheelbairer.
 Remember, dat you can't judge of d, home happiness of Q man an wife by seeijI em at Sunday skule picnic.
 Remember, dat while de aiverage r,n,, will return de k'rect change in bushes, Gansackshun, he'll water his milk an min tA,ans wid his coffee.
 Remember, dat all de negatives of dc best photographs am retouched, an do wrinkles an freckles worked out
 "Remember, dat society am made ur O, good clothes, MSlgry stomachs, deception, aeartaches and n:iSed grammar.
 Remember, dat people will neber stop tn queshun de truf of any rumor or any scando, aEectin' your character but it takes years tc aatisfy 'em dat youI great grandfather wasns pirate an your great grandmother de leall. tn' gal in fifteeifcent ballet. You can now sot down an close yer eyes an reflect an digest, an de rest of us will purceed to carry out de usual programme of de meetin'."
 "Ii disparsin' to your varus homes," said the president as the triangle sounded its notes of warning, "remeniber dat civility am de grease which keeps de wheels of society from stickin fast to the axletrees An oblegin dis position may keep your washtub an fatirons doatin' aroun' de nayborhood 'leben months In de y'ar, but de same reason will bring in chicken broth an kind words in case you have run of bilious fever. Somebody wake up Elder Toots an let us go kserfully down stairs. "-Delroit Free Press
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Ladies Who Cannot Swim.

Now, ladies who cannot swim and are Afraid of the water, let me advise you Hot to trust yourselves in small boats of !Aky kind, especially small sailbuals, un, less in the very best of hands. The first q. s we you get .lo your best to learn 'soE> Hing of swimming, and you will lneWN regret it. To those of my own sex wsslld say, never take lady who can. nCS Lwinn (uziess she is one who neve, loses her self controD in an unsafe beat an upset otherwise may prove doub,' eatal-OutinC.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Understood His Business,

Omaha Travelling Man Gin Chicago)-I un aerstand good many Chicago families emr ploy 5000 year cooks.
 Hotel Clerk-Yes, that's SO.
 "Can you tell me how can get the ad dresses of such familiesg'
 ''Go to the Hightiy Caterers emporium Do you wish to engage cookP'
 ''Oh, no; am agent for Killercure's dys. le,'sia medicine"-Omaha World
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
"pnrrIm,s Progress" in Japanese.

In "Pilgrim's Progress" as translated Into Japanese and illustrated by native artists, Christian has close shaven Mon- gollan head, Vanity Fair is feast of Ian. terms with popular Japanese amusements,
 the dungeon of Giant Despair is one of those large wooden cages fin which eastern criminals are confined, and the angels waiting to receive the pilgrims on the fur. ther side of the bridgeless river aso dressed h Yokeha.as fashsA--QteaSs
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Where There's A Will rhere.s A Way

Where There's Will There's a Way. Tramp Qate at night)-Could you give .ne shelter for the night9 ' "Yes, suppose so You can sleep on tllai cot there."
 "Well, could you let me have bite to eat before retirea"
 "Why, it would injure your health t0 sa, before sleeping"
 "Then I'll sit up for while. ."-NebrMika State Journal.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
A Family of Them,

Young Washer to ballet dancer, behind the scenes)-Who is that divine creature ir pink, with wings of butterfya
 Ballet Dancer-That is my mother, Mr. Washer. !,
 Young Masher-No, no; I mean the leon inc blonde, nearer the footlightsl .,
 Ballet Dancer-Oh! that is my grand mother.-The Epoch.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
On & Dairy Farm.

Man of All Work-Old Brindle died las night.
 Proprietor-Thats a pity, How mucl milk did she give9 | Man-About gallon.
 Proprietor-Ho many COWS have you g. nows
 Man-Ten. Had better buy another tan. Proprietor-Of course not. Just put fa,. other sucker in the pump Washing tcz Critic
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Sl. rewd Swindlers,

First Confid' ace Man-You seeu to lsy. Struck streak of bad luck, Bill
 Second Conf lence Man-Why do I!
 "Yo:'ve get on such miserably el.ai.f, shelf worn suit of clothes. Don't believe it cost over S7, did iti" "No, but these clothes wasn't Lought foI economy; these clothes mean bLsin es,."
 "Businessl"
 "Yes. I'm tryin' to pass myself off for q rich Philadelphian. ."-Omaha World.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
A Parting Souvenir.
Then you arc ooinp2

Mistress-Then you are goings
 Cook-I am. I've been in the habit of living with ladies (marked emphasis on the lasS word).
 M. (sarcastically)-Well, if you are gong, leave us lock of your hair.
 C.-I have, ma'am. You'll find it in the butter.-Boston Courier.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Harmony in tho Party.

Mrs. 'a.AI understand that you have rdhad!tsoub|a with your servant girl. MAt5s. H,rNot at all.
 Mrs. 6!LOhf then was misinformed siH Nsau4 .s+f was nothing was going 6. to sh8Ys,a rsceptiQn, but she had arranged
 Mrs. G.-And she gave hers up2 ESs Ssss Si fqEsaSs. G YR Boston e e Courier %
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Very Much Worn.

Gentleman Gn clothing store)-I find that thave got to go to Montreal tonight, and want a suit of clothes.
 Clerk-Yes, sir. You want @ cutaway .oat, Is'pose.-New York Sun.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Given Away.

- Mrs. Bonneguard (of Montreal, is org,:si.-
 x, toboggan partyj-Would you ask ;E.s, Col. Brown? understand he has had qui se checkered career in the states. MT. Bonnesuard (who knows the detai; @- Not only check sred but striped, my dess.- Tid Sits.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
True to Ills Calling.

"H they were both intimate friends es yours why didn't you stop the fghti Thsy nsariy killed each other.n
 q stop the fghti Why, my triend, I'Sa uswspap~s reporter. r."1Ths Epoch
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Important Business.

Citizen ito member of board of trade)- Any business of importance accomplished at tie meeting last nighta
 Member-Yes.
 Citizen-What was ita
 Member-We perfected arrangements for tue annual dinner of the board The Epoch.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
His Voice,

He (who has just left the piano)-How do you like my voice, Miss Race9
 Miss Race (Ciucinnsti}-Your voicsi Ohi NS certainly . bowling success, MT. xAyD. edft1ngS. .
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
What Caused fho Fire

"Oh, papal the baggage car was on fire At the depotr'
 "What caused it, little dear?''
 GA hot newspaper, the station master said" She meant . heA jpavp4l.)- 0eos Hvusekeeping.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
For Her Dear Sake.

"Willie," said a young wife, 'are you go hug to take part in this tennis tournamentr' "Yes, thought of it."
 "Please don't, Willie, for my sake." "WhyW
 "Because you might win and it would surely get into the papers" ."-Washingtor Critic.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Ioedt R sAueAsFsed with Him.

'IJ5iO9nJ h sANe7sS5e9eq)!Wffr fa1n,
 ,4d FRs Ha|saRass @ SP SsSs sSs Snsa gnssa D. D.oLeAguea clue"reseptieho the other night.
 the worst. Whefelpon3 }aiffi tho members of the tlHD fofmsaaA pe6uessionl and i,pro -le~sSdsdbto SssPnld Tscqmssh by tAs slaau hand. bnd nRFRRatons nFRato ,sgafFla sAafaa .b,tsmi,ss s~a .a'' a
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
sidIDAlysNteoy mfnsI

ynsmIhbtihual Customer Ate Sphqtegraph ahs R'tSTss, s,Hpasss Rpahss me 1a l0Ok j. aS'ilaF4btsgaRisrisBut inssrdear tpsdsm.:
 you will grow into it.-Life.
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-04
Didn't Affect the Bread.

Landlady lcomplainingly)-Flour is go. ing up, MT. Blodgers.
 Star Boarder Cropping heavy biscuit with dull thudSSo I underestimate; but your bread doesn't seem to rise cores. pondingly, Mrs. Hashley.-Washington Critic,
Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-04-16

saae mile Sessunss have bssa nsAsas
wsss ~ y. BY Anna Peg, Asseia.
Issas, SD Jao. bons. ToIsdo, Ohio.
ese ess. OthsS ere doing = We1e Why
ses yoaf Some easn owes oeoo.oo .
oeesA. Yea esn do the Wosk - live
y hsoe, wAssevss you are. Evee hs-
EG.ensse ere easily earning ffsa - -
eiee ny. Al egss. We sesw yea hsv
- eli the time. Zig nessy Tor woss-
esA Baolure onhaoWu essoU9 tAs0.
NEW saA Passie0ioss 49,.
. Hes oeo porsoAN NJ, Maine
The rustler., 1891-12-25

+. n. Kerr. who was hound over
10 the grand jury In tho sum of
sl 600 fur the shooting of the cook.
John Kennedy. In Cerrillo- lsst
week, furnished bail at Santa Fe
and returned TO Cerrlllos Tuesday.
w. II. Kennedy, one Of CsrrilIos'
most enterprising and successful
merchants. attended the Fl Paso
convention, also looking after bus
iness little an the trip. He re-
ports fine body OF men together,
good work accomplished and a
pleasant time.
Geo. l.. wyllys quietly acted
the part of Santa Claus this week,
and many were the little gifts that,
coming from an unknown source,
caused little toddles to jump with
JOY. The heart that Is worn on the
coat-sleeve at Christmas time never
gets very far out Of place the ball
ance Of the year.
The rustler., 1891-12-25

The sick people are generally
improving.
W. s. Graham has been quite ~
for some time.
Ladies' trimmed hats at Good
man, Ziegler 4 Co.'S.
DIR. Kelley, formerly of CerrIllos.
has located at San Pedro.
A grand ball l. 10 be given nj
the San Pedro hotel tonight.
S. p. Conger has.been putting in
most OF the past week In Albu-
querque.
Mr.. Bradbury, who has been 10
critically III at the Lincoln Luck \
camp, Is now improving.
The Lincoln Lucky i freightlng
an excellent quality OF carbonate
ore TO the railroad at C,rrlllos for
shipment.
Goodman. Ziegler 4 Co. have
now a fine display Of holiday good-.
Give them call and they will try
to please,syou.
Alex. Rogers and DIR. Lane have
In their possession some very fine
specimens of brittle silver from
their "Watermellon" claim In the
Sandals.
V. Schick, the new proprietor OF
the San Pedro hotel. has exper-
fenced some difficulty. In procuring
a good cook, and this has delayed
the opening up. OF the. hotel.
Mr.. and Mrs. l.. Tremayue are
now living.in Albuquerque, where
he divides his. time between filling
n position at the A.. "a =. shops and
working up San Pedro mining
interests.
Mr.. Richard Gibl.n. who went
to Albuquerque few weeks ogo,
has been quite seriously. III .since
arriving there, but Is now nicely
improving. Miss Horey, his niece,
is. with him.
DIR. A. G.. Lane has moved his
stock Of drugs to Albuquerque and
expects to locate permanently In
that city. He is still very much
interested and has unlimited faith
in San Pedro's mines.
The rustler., 1891-12-25
New Mexico Educators.

The annual meeting of the New
Mexico Educational association
opens at representatives hall, Ia
the capitol. on Monday. the 2Sth
inst, and continues in session three
days. On Monday evening Cover
nor Prince will deliver the address
of welcome, response by Prof.
Creager, of Albuquerque; Prof.
Chase will also speak and there
will be music and readings. Be-
ginning with the Tuesdays session
"A program OF much interest will be
carried out, the association holding
sessions daily and each evening.
The complete program has already
been presented In these columns.
Since IL is u fact that the cause OF
popular education has received
great impetus In New Mexico dur
ing the past year, 1t Is expected
that this meeting OF educators will
be the largest and most successful
ever held by this worthy associa'
ton. Prof. Chase is daily In re-
ceipt of letters announcing the In
tention of teachers to be in sttend-
ance. Many of these will be COM
parative strangers In Santa Fe and
as this wi III be their first visit here
the New Mexican suggests and
urges upon the citizens of the capi-
tai the wisdom of making a special
effort TO extend to them a most
hospitable greeting. Santa Fe IL
beyond question the educational
center of the southwest Its educa-
tional institutions have enrolled
TO day larger number OF pupils by
one. third than any other city In
New Mexico, and II IL meet there
fore that Its citizens should spare
no pains to make the educators 0l
the territory feel perfectly al
hume here.
The rustler., 1891-12-25

Certain Santa Fe parties have
been trying to steal Cerrillos' pros.
pect for smelter by telling parties
who have been instrumental In se-
curing the stock, that Santa Fe
would give big bonus TO have Il
built there. We do not think any
boaus from Santa Fe or any other
point on the American continent,
could induce sensible investors TO
overlook the natural advantages for
smelling ore at Cerrillos. The ques.
ton Of a Santa Fe "bOnus," in the
FIRST place, Is about as realistic as
the ghost Of McGinty, and in the
second place, no bonus-no amount
of capital - would offset for one year
alone, the difference In ths expense
of treating ore at the two points.
1t would cost more by s. per ton to
treat ores at Santa Fe or Albuquer.
que, than at Cerrillos. Ii doesn't
take long TO figure that up. Sup
pose a smeller treats 100 tons a day.
That means $500 ~ day or Sl75, 900 n
year saving on the difference In ex-
per.e Of treating ore alone. So, II
the Santa Fee or Albuquerque peo-
Pile desire TO furniah the 500, ,000-
the proposed cost of the present
plant-und about II hundred thou
sand dOllsrs additional to offset
competition. such an offer would be
entitled only to slight cOnsidera-
tiOn. For, the day will come when
Cerrillos will have smelters and
big ones; when she will bid not
only for the ores from her own
wonderful mineral sections, but for
those of the entire southwest. And
with the advantages she will have
for cheaply reducing ores, smelters
at other points will soon find that
they are "not in it,"
The rustler., 1891-12-25

Walter +. Fairchild. who Is In
the city jail awaiting the arrival OF
Sheriff George Dick, of Walsenburg
COL, to be taken back 10 where he
recently committed forgery. IL
about y years old, and Is known 10
have worked every town on the
Santa Fe road between Trinidad
and this city, He was driven out
of Ration with u gang OF vagrant-.
The Colorado sheriff Is expected
here to- night.-Albuqerque Citizen
The rustler., 1891-12-25
50 PER YEAR.



Speaking Of the chances Of DemS
eng as a reduction point the Ad-
vance has the following:
"For fuel, coal and coke either
irom Trinidad or Cerrillos. The
report Of = coming smellsr At Ger
rillos is premature. The Rio
Grandc smolter at Sooorro will uso
all OF its influence to prevent ils
being built thero or at AlbuQuer>
que, aud it will take years of nego.
tiation ere the proper rates can bo
secured for such plants. They are
just at the mercy Of the one rail
road, and unless virtually owned
10y the road or by cautious parties
are doomed TO failure. The Trini-
dad coal rs well. can and is being
produced cheaper; the Cerrillos ID
the better article. II the Santa Fe
were to haul Cerrillos coal and
coke TO Deming at proportionally
the same freight rate that it brings
Trinidad fuel to Denver, Deming
might rejoice.
with fairly cheap and good
iuel from Cerrillos iron and steel
works IN the west or east ean not
compete with DemIng. To mar
ket this iron in Pueblo tho Santa
Fe hauls the ore for $3.50 TO
Pueblo while Deming ought to
have the ore for about 81 freight ut
least. We could pay 81 If neces-
Sary. Iron properties can bo
bought at prices which would
place the cost OF the ore put down
here ut S3 per ton"
The Advance Is mistaken about
tho smelter idea at Cerrillos being
premature. 1t is anything else.
Cerrillos, from being tho best pos
sible poirt in the southwest Tor
smelling, should long have had
smelters established, and had thus
been the case, the surrounding
mines would have been much bet
ter developed. The smelters at
Socorro would have no object IN
preventing the establishing Of
smelters at Corrlllos, because they
have us much or more than they
can do TO treat their own and tho
ores directly tributary TO them.
The points IN favor OF Cerrillos as
cheap reduction point are its
possession of It's own fuel, It's own
huxes and a large amount of min
cral in its own section. More than
this, 1t ls fairly we'll understood
iha: the Santa Fe road will have
no interest IN discriminating
against the entire prosperity of u
smelling plant at Cerrillos.
The rustler., 1891-12-25

The Albuquerque Foundry and
Machine company, 30 states Mana
ger Hall, Is overcrowded with
work. This afternoon the company
shipped to the Sisters school on
Boyle Heights, Los Angeles, the
large bell which they manufactured
aud had on exhibition at the late
territorial exposition. The bell
weigha over 600 pounds, and Is q
fine exhibition of skilled work.
manship,-Albuquerque Citizen.
The rustler., 1891-12-25

The expectation :. that the lady
teache1- In attendance at this con-
vention will be entertained by elii-
zens free Of cost. The Palace hotel
has granted specially low rates for
the gentlemen who come as dele
gAtes.-New Mexican. Dec. cath.