The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-12-10

Gu hLn twenty dollars n a spring
shoat if he could conjur' up some way
to make hair grow on his bald conk.
LlPpy know'd th't Jerry hadn't never
had no hair, n so he shuck his head.
IF we know'd whar to git some
hai' roots says he, we mowt plow up
yer scalp n set 'em out like cabbage
plants, says he, IN mebbe raise v
crop o harr. Thut's the. unly way
know on, says Lippy; but hair roots,
| guess, is ponty sca'ce article to git
jist now,' says he. Il hain't hcerd O.
none bcin' on the market, hev you?'
says Lippy.
Jerry shook his head m looked
glum. Bimeby Lippy says:
"'Natur' has been Gurn tough on v,
Jerry, says he, IN if l was you I'd
beat natur' at her own game
"'How's that says Jerry.
9Th as setch things ez wigs saws
Lippy. Hadn't y never thort O them?'
says he.
No, by gum says Jerry. Il never
did, n they're the ticlzet;' n Jerry
went hum ez chirpy ez a cricket A
day or two arter that Jerry took trip
to the county seat, N the evenin' he
kim back he went up to Biler's Run
n dropped in for call on Prudence
Petty.
"'How bey', Pru?' says Jerry. witch
one othem twelve fingers O. your'n IL l
put the weddin' ring on?' says he.
"'Any one of 'em,' says Prudence,
'th't lock o. hair often your head II
make ring fer;' says she, larfn' in her
aggrevatin' way.
"'All right says Jerry, larfin' back
at her Choose yer finger!'
'Then@ Jerry took off his hat, m
Prudence kim durn nigh tumblin' kerr
plunk on the floor. She grabbed the
manteltree, n her eyes couldn't a
bulged out ferder if it had ben a
growlin' N snappin' painter that stood
afore her. Pooty soon she got her
breath, n fallin into cheer, she
throw'd up her hands.
"'Wull, conss-rn you, jerry Bill
finger! If that don't jist dumswizzle
me" she hollered.
Fer thar stood Jerry, holdin' his hat
in his hands N grinnin' like bar
eatin' honey. lie want bald no more,
but had head O. hair th't kivered his
bare conk like an old hen I1iverin' her
eggs.
"'Thar's the hair y been so durn
anxious aboutp says Jerry. Now,
wen a var goin' ter come down n
help me run that air clearin' O. nine?'
says he.
$50 Pru she give in n sot the day
fer her n Jerry to git hitched, n the
news o Jerry's hair fetched folks FIN
all over the deestric' to see it, m if
Jerry had run fer Office jist then he
KID ben elected to anything.
Now, Jerry had a sister, Sally, n
he were her guardeen. She had sot
her feein's on young Sam Stover, N
/ him n Sally wanted to git married
the wust kind. But Jerry he didn't
want Sally to marry Sam, m put a
veto on the hull business f'm the start,
1.-The ideer says Jerry. Wat kin
Sam Slower do but tame crows, m
coons, n bar n setch?' says he. An
he a-wantin' to marry Sallyn says he.
young Sam didn't do much else but
| tame crows N setch, that's SO, but he
picked up good many dollars at it,
n his pop had sawmill, m Sam were
giner'ly thort to be all right, n so he
was. But Jerry had other ideesfO his
sister, n he nipped Sam right in the
| bud.
"Wull, the day th't Jerry n Prudence
Petty was goin' ter be hitched kim
round, N Jerry started for Biler's.
Sally had gone up to help with the fix
ms the day afore. Ez Jerry were
passin' by his buckwhit field he see
| th't two O Jed Crone's pigs had broke
| through the fence m was everlastinly
rootin' away in the buckwhit. Th't
wouldn't do O. course, n Jerry hur-
ried over n druv the pigs out Then
he see th't he'd hef to fix up the fence
er they'd be right in ag'in, N he sot to
work to do it. 1t were a warm day,
| m Jerry took off his coat N his vest
m his hair n laid 'em in fence cor
ner vile he done the work. It didn't
take him long, N he were kind O
restin' m coolin' off little fore he
put his things on ag'in to start fer Pet
tvs. Vile he were moppin' his head
m his face with his handkerchief, q
couple o. crows kim sailin' down outer
the woods often the h'll m lit On the
fence nigh whar Jerry's hair were lay
in, m begun clatterin' n Gavin
N a iawin'. Jerry didn't think nothin
o. the crows ii II one of 'em jumped or
the ground n begun to make little
Examination o. the hair. Then Jerry
got kinder skeert N started to chase
the crow away. The crow, seein' Jer
nv maxim fer lit, knowed at once thai
the hair was his'n, N want to bt
fooled with, so O. course the crow, fol
lerin' out its natur', picked it up, n
t'other crow grabbe holt of it too, n
away off in the woods they sailed will
the hair th't had got Jerry the best 0
Prudence.
Now, all the time Jerry were work
in away fxin' up his fences agin the
pigs, Sam Stover were sittin' on the
fence over home thinkin' about Jerry!
weddin th't were to come off that arter
noon, an cussin' Jerry fer standin
lVs3Io ba war.