The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-10-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Puck.
The demonstration of canine JOY be-
gins at the end.-BOSton Courier.
An ice bill may be ccol, but it is not
always collected. - Washington star.
No man can be a hero to his valet
Heros have no use for such attendants.
Puck.
An ardent swain goes to court pre-
pared to plead his own se.-Detron
Free Press.
If life really were a poem, it is doubt
full if any one would be averse to it.
Detroit Free Press.
Belle-"This mirror is simply per-
feet" Bess-"Ah, see. 1t iatters
you. - Yankee Blade.
The spoon craze pervades the water
ing places. 1t takes only two to make a
full set.-BoSton Herald.
When firm winds up its business it is
only reasonable to suppose that it has
been running down.-Detroit Tribune.
Quericus-"What is Mrs. Moneybag-
CESS position in societyi" Cynicus--
"Why, it's capital. - Washington Star.
She-"Why do you shudder and shut
your eyes when you see hammockl"
He-"Because I've been there. "-AorR-
ing Journal.
Ever since Rebecca went to to the well
watering-places have been great resorts
for ladies with matrimonial aspirations.
Chicago NeIOS.
There is no afiliction without its COM
pensating benefit. The deaf mute is a
stranger to the trials of the telephone
Boston Transcript.
distinctive feature of this seasons
hats for the ladies is an exceptionally
low crown. Not so the price. 1t is as
high as ever.--Detroit Free Press.
Theatre Manager to departing specta-
tor)-"Beg pardon, sir, but there are
two more acts" "Yes, l know it.
That's why Pm going. ."-Flieqeade Rlaet-
ter.
"The Eastern sages believe that there
is a sign ON each mans forehead that the
angels may read" he whispered softly.
"What is yours" she answered. "To
letW-NeW York Herald.
Philanthropist - 4" You say your
brother treated you with marked disre-
spect2 In what way~ Tramp (wiping
his eyes)-"Went to work in my pres
ence. ."--New York Herald.
At supper the other evening Feble-
witte rather brusquely bade the table girl
give him some sauce. He got what he
asked for, but, somehow, did not seem
to relish it.-DetroH Free Press.
81 say, waiter" exclaimed an impa-
tient customer, 'I've been here full
hour" "I've been here since seven this
morning." answered the waiter. Tire
some, amt itW-I'hitddelphia Record.
The Maiden-"I hope you noticed,
Mr.. Rimer, that it was your book that l
brought out here to read" Mr.. Rimer
-"Yes. l also noticed that you fell
fast asleep over it. it."-Huaseys Weekly.
"We have no use for bear stories"
said the editor. "Our readers demand
something spicy" "Well," said the
man with the manuscript, "this story is
about a cinnamon bear. ."-Iadidnap0lis
Journal.
"You couldn't get steaks as rare rs you
liked them at your late boarding house,
ehl" said the old boarder to the new.
"Well, it'll be rare enough you'll get
them here, let me tell youW-DetroH
BFes Press.
"Great Scottl" exclaimed the world
the other day as she wiped the perspira-
tion off the North American Continent
with point lace cloud. "Did any one
ever have so much trouble with a sun
beforeg'-Lye.
One occasionally reads of the discov-
cry of the petrihed remains OF human be-
ings. Is this to be taken rs indicating
that there may have been those in days Of
yore who succeeded in making them-
selves solidi- Detroit BFeo Pres.
A Jefferson avenue young mau who has
money enough to do the summer resorts
and conscience enough to lirt with every
girl he meets, went into a Wood ward ave-
nue. jewolry store last week where he
knew one OF the clerks. l want three
rings, lady's size, he said. "Ah,"
smiled the clerk, cunningly, "going to
have circus, are you'"-Der0H Fles
Press.
slow are you getting on with the
piano3" asked Alphonso Of his best be-
loved Matilda. "Oh, very well; can
see the great progress IN my work.
"Ilow is thatl" "Well, the family that
lived next door moved away within
week after began to practice The next
people stayed month, the next ten weeks
aud the family there now have remained
pear y six months, ~ laHkes Blade,