The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-12-01
WHAT DID BROWN SAY

last Saturday III the new barber shop
next to Cathcart's when Barber Hal
stead, who had a man in his chair, set
out to tell a story. He said:
4 knew a man back in Indiana that
got religion. His name was Brown,
and he was a blacksmith who couldn't :
read. He was taken into the Methodist
church on probation, and at the end
of six weeks the minister came to con
suit him as to the state of his mind.
Brown was blowing his forge. The
minister inquired if he was still anx-
ious to unite with the church, and
Brown said he was The dominic be-
gan to catechise him a little, inquiring
il he believed all that was in the Bible.
Brown said he didn't know; never had
read the work, not being able to read
anything. So the preacher pulled the
Bible on him and started to read it.
He gave him the story Of Joshua stop
ping the sun and moon, and Brown
said it was a tough yarn, but might be
true. Then Mr.. Preacher sprung Jonah
and the whale on him. Brown kept
blowing away at his bellows; his fire
got hotter all the time, and he sweat
big drops. Finally he said he would
rather be excused from making up his
mind on Jonah until he could have
time to think it over; the parson
read on a little further, and give him
all he had in his locker so he could
swallow the whole business at Once
Next came the story of the Hebrew
children in the fiery furnace. Brown
says; How hot was that there fur
mace? Hot as the fire in this f0rge?'
Seven times hotter, says the parsOn.
And they never got singedH Brown
asks. There wasn't even the smell of
fire on their clOthes,' the minister tells
him. Brown was blowing his bellows
all the time, and feeding more coal as
fast as it burnt out, and everything in
sight was pretty near red hot. WE'LL
says Brown, if they were chucked
into a place seven times hotter than
this and never got scorched, all I've
got to say is"
Just then Siwash came along with a
big salmon and asked Halstead if he
didn't want it. Halstead shook his
head, and went on to say that ever
since he had been there people inter
ested in the fish business had called
half a dozen times a day. When he
had described these parties and told
what they said, the customer asked:
"But what did Brown say?"
"Oh, yes" said Halsead, Gas I was
saying, Brown kept pumping away at
his bellows, burning out coal, and
says he"
The customer Halstead had been
shaving was ready to go, and handed
him coin. The barber couldn't change
it and rustled around the neighborhood
to get it broken. When he got back
he proceeded: Brown kept blowing
his forge until the water in the tub
alongside it began to steam, and he
says to the parson: If that fire was
seven times hotter than this"
Here Halstead's Iaundryman came in
after the wash and there was some dis
cussion about the last bill. The mar
rator had to be again reminded that
his story was incomplete, and resumed:
"Well, sir, Brown pulled away at the
bellows and the blaze got hotter and
hotter. All the cobweb5 were singed
off the beams overhead and the SCOT in
the chimney was catching fire, Brown
he wiped the sweat away from his eyes
and says he"
Out on the street at this juncture
arose a great cutlery. People were
running into their doors and others
coming out. Along First street came
a big pair Of black horses hitched to a
heavy wagon, and they we're yanking
over the planks at great speed, with
the driver two or three rods behind
them. It was a runaway sure enough.
The reporter and another man hoped
from their chairs, wearing their shrouds
out upon the sidewalk. The team dis
appeared in a cloud of dust, and then
everybody came back.
Said Halstead: "OId Brown pumped
away Eat his bellows and says to the
says he" Then the story
teller paused.
"Weu, what did ne sayg" inquired
the reporter.
TIN blanked if 1 don't forget" Hal
stead answered shortly. never could
tell that story very well anyway, and
there have been so many Interruptions
that I wouldn't finish it now if 1 could.
I want order when l address an audi
ence."
And nobody knows to this day what