New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-01-24
AZ INDIANA ENCH5NGE +.

The great struggle Tor nhtrumoAIai adjustment
zoos nm The latest ease of interest Is reported
from that home of easy matrimonial adjustments
tho State Of Indiana, and while not altogether
a success vet. VIII no DOUBT ehd 10 the Sa'S'
faction Of those involved
Fran, Helms lives at Williamsburg and Daniel
Smith nj Carlos CITY. They met recently III the
Farmers Home Hotel in Columbus. They were
moi acquantcrl but in the evening. after abusing
fine Government for an hour OF 50, and telling
obout thc hardest winter they ever remembered,
their conversation driltcd 10 the subject OF wives
Each announced, rs II matter OF course, that II"
was dissatisfied with his wife. Smiths grlevanc,
was that his wife lacked energy ana decision "t
charnctcr She was too meek and mild ana not
a woman calculated To gapplc with the stern
realities of life in Indiana and come out Victorious
or cour.r. Smith admired Il woman OF exactly
tie opposite tcmpcramcnt. What | like IN a
woman" said Smith to Helms. d" Is life and grt-up-
and-gct want her to have a Mid OF her
own. and a temper of her own, too, for that mat
Ter and 10 hc able To- bring little STIR ana pop
into a household. ! admire pop, but there is no
non i'm my family What | want is pop with two
biz, r., and a stable o. Helms looked al Smith
a moment and said that lie was not worshippcr
Of that kind of woman though lac had one for Il
wife What he admired was mldnc,s and scrcn-
ity in a woman lie liked these cllngins. help
loss vinc-Hkc women But he siid, looking
At smith closely d" If you are hunting for pop, YOU
want my wife. She will bring pop into your
housc with circus-postcr letters II foot high. She
is all DOB and last week she chased tramp our
If the ward and hit him with an old whcclbarrow
handle when he jumped over the garden gate 80
YOU could hear the crash Il hundred yards.
Helms carried one of his arms in a Sing, ana as
lac nursed il he continued eloquent on the subject
of his wifc's great force of character she always
rot up he said, at O'Clock in the morning ana
,y,s master of the situation till II at night 1t
yas all a mans life was worth TO track in"
mud on her kitchen floor. lie had lived
with her seventeen years and had never yet dared
to tell her that her cooking not good as
his mothers, though that was his honest opin-
ion Her cooking looked good, but IL didn't have
tho ta,tc that his mothers had. When Helms
finished smiths face glowcd with Satisfaction He
extended his hand and said That's the woman
want. Let's swap" Helms took the prollcrcd
hand and replied that he would he only too glad
70 do 80. smith agreed to throw in four children
and small farm, and Helms said that he would
mt in the same number of children and IA house
and lot in Williamsburg. They went out to
,ctbcr and hunted up Justice of the Peace Rush
and requested him TO draw up the necessary
nopcrs TO make everything legal and binding
Iudrc Rush put on his spcciaccs and hunted
tbrouph hi, library Two hours Then he laid the
b,ok down and told the disappointed men that
thc exchange could not he made They Withdrew
and decided 10 each apply at the next term of
court for a divorce on the ground of cruel and
nhuman treatment and then To marry according
to the first agreement. Each has retained IA lawyer
and no doubt the programme will he carried out
The women are said to he also heartily in favor
Of the arrangement
People may he inclined 10 smile at the first
plaus of Messrs Helms and Smith, but it occurs
70 rs that the idea may yet he developed into
something practical. The number of divorces
and of eopements Of persons who have been
married is something startling. II will not sur
prse us to sec the establishment shOrlyat Chicago
for instance, of great National matrimonial
clearing house where unhappily mated couples
NAV come together, exchange ideas and wives and
husbands and rcctfy those little connubal mis-
axes in selection tracCablc to the cXuberancc Of
youth or to the weakness of age. We would suggest
that perhaps this might be made feature of the
Wnrld'S Fair.