Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-03-15

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] his pantaloons In railway carriage ne
would have thought meanly of HIM for be-
| ing of disorderly habits. and 80 now ne
| Judged himself with candid severity Tor
not having better regulated his own time.
If en- accident occurred" unused ne as
| he removed his coat and waistcoat,
wonder what would be thought Of mo for
! beng half undressed in train z"
This reflection made him redden. lie
| was a sby. middle-aged man, with large,
| red ears and fat. ford face. The effect
| of pulling of his boots always suhused his
| countenance with crimson, and 1t did so
now. lnsomuch that what with the color
that came from physical exertion and that
which resulted from q troubled conscience,
| Mr.. Barnaby Chucker looked truly dis
| tressed. Having removed his boots. he
| denuded himself of his trousers. This was
| a irving moment, for if an accident had
| happened then! ,,u
why, why. dear me " calculated Mr..
| Chucker at this stage of his cogltatlons,
II think the train-no, 1t cannot be-ls
| stopping" NJ
The train was stopping in effect, as Mr.;
! Chucker might have foreseen that II would
| do. since he was not travelling bv express;
! but he had been so enwrapped III ms sell
| upbraiding thoughts that he had not even
noticed the first slackenlng OF the engines
| speed.
|
very disreputable litter of clothes, and
with no time to redress himself before the
| train stopped.
He had to decide hastily whether he
would steam alongside Ealing. platform
| in his shirt sleeves or minus his panta-
! looms.
He chose wisely In budding on his coat,
which he buttoned up, while he covered
| his lower man with his railway rug. This
| done he collected as many OF his belong;
ings az he could into his bag, kicked
his boots under the seat. and tried to look
dignihed. go,
The train had come to stand-still now
and guard opened the door TO the Carl
in which our hero was sitting and cried;
There's room here, sir, for you and this
LADY,"
leaning out in horror, you told me |
should have this compartment to myself"
Unfortunate for our modest friend the
guard to whom he had given the shilling
was not the one appointed to travel with
the train. These little mistakes often oc-
cur and lead TO unpleasant consequences.
The present guard said bluntly:
- can't give you compartment to
Yourself unless you pay for II, Sir. It's
against the rules. Here, madame, step in,
A lady who looked in very delicate
| health got into the carriage and gentle
nan with her. Mr.. Barnaby Chucker felt
ready to swoon. Before he could inform
the guard of his readiness TO pay Tor
! whole compartment sooner than have his
| privacy intruded upon the train was of
again and Mr.. Chucker fell to rejecting
how he should effect his change of car
RACES at Slough, now that he was In no tit
state to step onto a platform. The train
! in which he travelled was not bound
straight for Windsor, but for Birmingham,
and Mr.. Chucker would have to change at
Slough if he wished to dino with his
| friends that evening.
Alas, q more urgent difficulty than that
involved in a change of carriages soon pre-
gented itself to him, for no sooner had the
train started than the lady who had Just
stepped in began to moan and to shlver,
| saving that she felt cold all over. Her bus-
band sought to quiet her, but 1t was all OF
no use. for she was really i'll. At last the
poor man looked in despair at Mr.. Chucker,
and politely said
Excuse me for taking great liberty,
sir, but would you be so kind as to lend
nv wife your rug? We started in hurry
| and forgot to bring one. As 1t Is not cold
day. perhaps YOU would not mind obliging
us as far as Slough, where l shall be able
to buy a rug"
The request completely staggered him.
and he could find no words IN which to
Would you kindly lend this lady your
rug 7" repeated the gentlemen, rather as
"Hooi" growled Mr.. Ohucker, in a voice
like bears. 1t had just occurred TO him
that the safest way out Of his difficulties
would be TO sham being mad.
A Frenchman would have quietly beck.
oned the gentleman TO the other side of
the carriage and would have explained the
dilemma with alaugh.
But Englishmen are persons full of nice
ness, and Mr.. Chucker dared not confess
TO perfect stranger that he had no trou-
He repeated " Hoo" two or three times
over, and his stratagem succeeded perfect
". for both his fellow passengers became
convinced that they were travelling witha
lunatic.
The lady began to scream. Her nerves
were so unstrung that they could not stand
this extra shock. And MIR. Chucker made
| things worse by the fixity with which he
stared at her. The gentleman armed him
self with an umbrella TO protect his wife:
Mr.. Chucker. entering into the spirit OF
his part. caught up his own umbrella and
| fourished it.
ME travellers we're in their attitude of
vigilance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed and Hanwell was
reached.
Instantly the gentleman jumped out on
! the off side of the line. so as not TO pass
! Mr.. Chucker. and helped out his wife.
whose screams had by this time given place
| TO a ut of shivering.
Mr.. Chucker thought himself well rid of
his mess, for the train would 60 on again,
and he should be able to complete his
| dressing. BY way of insuring privacy for
the remainder of his journey he began by
pulling the carriage-blinds down.
Alas he was not To get OF SO easily. -,
Already there was commotion on the
| platform.
The husband of the faintipg lady had
exclaimed matters TO the station-master
sotne porters and guards had overheard
him and a rumorw was circulated that there
was lunatio on the train. Some passen-
gers. poking their heads out OF the car
rage windows. protested against travelling
| in the company of man VINO might COM
NIT some mad act--set the Tram on nre,
throw himself out, or emit awful
no;ses. The station-master was obliged TO
nacify these murmurs by striding towards
he ALLEGED maniac's carriage. The all-un-
Conscious Mr.. Chuckor was rudely aroused
by the door being suddenly opened and
gruff voice exclaiming; "a,
Now, sir, what's the matter WITH
e"Nothine's--the-t with me-
etammered Mr.. Chucker. What should
there be p"
But SO saying, he Rugged bis robe closer
10 him with guilty look.
Would you mind stepping ont, sirl"
why should II My ticket 10 for Wind
"cbance here for Windsor. sir" re-
sronded the guard. who was quite con-
syr,ncad by this time that he had queer
character to deal with.
i"Weli. man. SINCE you put me to II. I've
t,os,sers on,p confessed Mr.. Chucker,
in v his voice. whereupon the station
master echoed In nmazement:
ni :. ~ tronsersln and tho crowd behind
..,r ~ mn the words, "No trousersln
0A "He's thIowed 'ein out" suggested .
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