The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-19
BRIGHT BITS.

"BUNKo BIEr." said the old settler, was a
very vic 6ed man"
Steal horses?" asked bystander
"Worse'n that, said the old settler.
Cheat at cardsf'' asked the bystander
''Worse'n that, said the old settler again
How could that be-" asked the bystander
and the old settler replied: Got caught
Somerpilte Journal
YES" said the chairman of the worlds fair
committee, we must have the real Venus of
Milo. " f%
''You know the real Venus is broke" ventured
the commissioner
Broke? That settles it. We want no one
who shows such lack Of business knowledge as
to get broke. Venus should have gone into the
hog business.-The Jetcelefs' Circular.
A STORY is at present being told of Lord Ran
doip Churchill which is given with due reserve
IL runs that at Lincoln rather noisy member
or the bookmaking fraternity addressed mis-
lordship as follows:
Glad to see you again. my lord; my name is
Hopkins. but bet you don't remember me-
You've won your bet " was the quiet renlv
and Lord Randolph strolled quietly away in the
opposite direction.-FotIrd Floating.
A CoLoRED PREACHER quoted a well-known
passage in Shakespeare thus: AS we travel
along the road from whence the travellers bones
never return" A minister in the south. who
was very small, slender man. once had a
fervent prayer offered in his behalf commencing
as follows: 80 Lord, bless this thy gigantic
servant, whom thou has set over us for the ex-
a,
with unmitigated ages of the world 30 Gomez
american Missionary
JOHN BRoUGHAM who hal something of tbs
genius aud character of his gifted countryman
Sheridan, once made a brilliant remark which
r1valed Sheridan 8 best bon mots. On the oc-
cssion of a benefit accorded him, some one
| threw upon the stage, at the close of the per-
formance, purse of gold, which he picked up
| and, after examining it, said: ladies and
| gentlemen circumstances compel me to pocket
| the insult, but docking GRIM should like to
| see the man who would repeat it," That might
have been prepared, but it was brilliant never
thelesS. tounG Floating.
| A FEW DAYS SINCE a representative of the press
from what the metropolis calls one of her sister
| cities, came TO the residence of a prominent
pastor to inquire as to his text for the succeed
/ ing Sabbath. A member of the household. having
ascertained it, informed the seeker after truth
that it was "a little leaven lesveneth the whole
| lump.-Galatians ", g." Whereupon the new
| revisonist recorded, "A little eleven eleventh
| the whole lump collisions We, g." 1t was mani
| rest beyond necessity of proof that he had
| received his education at the Athletic University
| under the special direction of the Professor Of
| Football in its relation to the Public Veal ~
| Romiletic ReUieW
| WHAT sort of a watch is this?'' asked Duzen.
| bury picking up curious old timepiece from
\ an Austin watchmaker's showcase.
| That, replied the matchmaker. lis a rea
| curiosity. II is watch that belonged to Alex
ander the Great when he died on the barren
| island of St. Helena"
| why, man alive, in the days of Alexander
| the Great they didn't have any watches"
| That's just what makes it such rarity"
| Helena
| He didn't eh? Well, that makes it a still
greater curiosity" and taking the rare relic
| from the hands OF Duzenbary he locked it il
| his burglar proof safe.-Terds SiftinQS.