The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1891-10-03

cent,
viii never reach that Holy land where good
Elijah went.
Remember this you wicked delin-
uuentS.
A Denver editor has sailed for Africa
to locate Haggard's ''King Solomon's
Mines.' An English syndicate fur
nishes the expenses of the trip. George
Francis Train, you are behind time.
*x*
In Europe there is a famine for grain.
In the Northwest there ls a famine for
laborers to harvest the great crops
Never miud you starving ones of Eu-
rope, America will provide for Your
wants.
We have been pestered with weather
cranks until we became dizzy; now will
q kind providence g1aciously relieve us
of those end.of-the- world lunatics, that
like bad weeds in a straW.b berry patch
spr0ut out unawares?
TX
1t is now given out that Mr.. Blaine
does not want to 90 to Washington UNI
til after the November election, and
that he has not decided to write letter
taking his name out of the way. He
undoubtedly loves to keep Ben in a
pickle.
*x*
It looks as if the election this fall
would turn on issues altogether, aside
from the tariff issue. In New York,
Fassett is endeavoring to force the
fighting on Tammany as an issue; in
Ohio, the Republicans are prodding the
Democrats on the silver question, and
Gov. Boies is talking high license vs..
prohibition in Iowa.
*x*
The Philadelphia Times observes that
Jonn Boyle U'Reil]ys monument fund
now amounts to $l6 500, and is likely to
be successfully closed bef0rs New
York's Grant monument fund is fat
enough to be worthy of it's object. The
wav to raise a monument fund, or any
other kind of fund. is to raise it, and
postpone talking about it until the cash
is in hand.
~
Corn stories being in order Wright
county man tells this: IA farmer living
in the vicinity of Rem wick had the good
fortune to have building containing
corn in the path of the cyclone that
visited that locality last summer. The
cyclone picked up the building and
whirled 1t around with such rapiditY
that the corn was all shelled, the cobs
passing out through knot hole IN the
side, so that after the storm he had
several hundred bushels of shelled corn
in the building and the cobs were piled
up in the barn yard.''
*x*
James Stephens, the former leader Of
the Fenians, has arrived in Dublin. It
is reported that the government has
given him permit to remain during
the rest of his life in Ireland, or any
other portion of the empire he chooses.
In an interview he said that he was a
supporter of Parnell. He had not
changed his mind as to the right of Ire
land to be an independent nation, Or
the way in which that right should be-
enforced, but majority Of the Irish
people havlng chosen to thy constitu-
tional agitation, he acquiesces in their
judgment.
Bill Nye hits the nail hard welt on
the head when he says: "A man may
use wart on the back of his neck for a
collar button; ride on the back coach Of
railroad train to save interest on his
money till the conductor gets around;
stop his watch at night to save wear
and tear; leaves his ''i'' or ''t'' without
a dot or cross to save ink; pastures his
mothers grave to save corn; but man
of this sort is gentleman and scholar
compared to the fellow that will take
newspaper two or three years, and when
asked to pay for it puts 1t into the Office
and has it marked refused"
*xr
What's the matter with Dakota, now?
1t not onlv helps to provide famine
stricken Europe with grain, but fur
nishes them real live earl to strength.
on the royal list. and it is stated by cor
respondents that DakOto is permeated
with royal seed of all kinds. James S.
Sinclair, of Lakota, n. d., has been a
steady, industrious farmer Of North
Dakota for the past four years. The
accident of birth now transfers him to
a Scotch estate containing $1,000 acres
Of parks and manors, and to castle
and title that date back over five cen.
turtles. Remote relationship and two
sudden deaths make the North Dakota
farmer peer in the house Of lords,
with the title of Earl Of Caithness.