Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-12-11
plTII AND POINT.

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES cracker. -.
Puck.
"Brcad upon the watcrs"-lIard tack.
Pack.
Came in with rush-Thc freshmen.
y Yale Record.
The infantilc prodigy in music cannot
be clnsscd rs n notc.shavcr.
It's the freshman who wants his mem.
ory kept green. Yale Record.
The man who rides wheel often
comes to whon.--NeU York Journal.
A man may he lantern jawcd and yot
his face may never light up.-Ne,O York
Press.
A distant relative--Thc rich old uncle
who won't speak to you.--Ne,o York
Journal.
When you feel it is all for the worst,
it cheers you greatly TO be told it is all
for the best.
1t is easier to take things philosoph-
ically than it is to part with them
phi!osophically.
We have high opinion of the intcli-
gence of the man who takes our advice.
-Nep York Journal.
If you want to get up with the lark in
the morning keep away from the swal.
lows Mt night Yonkcrs Gazette.
"Going to the donkey party to.
night?" "No, SIR" "Well, then, they'll
have to postpone the party. "-Puck.
The wsest OF all mortals Is
The man who, dull and slow,
Doth silent keep tho tongue limits his
On what he doesn't know.
-Bazar
Visitor-"You say you arc here us tho
result of sowing wild oats. What did
you raisc2" Prisoner = "Checks. -
Punch.
"What wns the row at the Zoo this
morning2" ''Thc boa-constricter got
loose and tried to fight with the fire.
hose. "-LJe.
You can't blow up student winter.
He will stop and argue the point with
you while the soup is getting cold
Teas Sytings.
Mamma-"Why, Johnny! why do you
call grandma grandma7" Johnny
"Coz papa said he was an old woman"
Ha,per's Bazar.
Jack-"That is n beautiful dog Diana
Scadhunter leads on the street." Tom
"Yes. 1t is trained to point eligible
young men. "-Pucs.
She-"Why do you always refer to
music as n womana" He--'Wcll, you
couldn't conceive of music as existing in
silence, could you7"-Lye.
Husband-"You look very happy to.
night, my dear" Wiie-"Well, why
shouldn't II l made twenty calls to.
day and found everybody out. "-Ncu
York Journal.
Though coldly sweeps the night breeze DER
the len,
1t chilleth not the autumn girls affection
AS sheltered by her lovers strong arms she
Rejoces In the doctrine of protection.
-NeiU Yori; Fress.
"Oh, do tel. me-" said Mrs. Chambers
to the tailor's wife, 'what is the tailor's
goosc?" "I am" replied the woman,
sadly, "for marrying Mr.. SHIPS. p
Detroit Free Press.
An Austin (SIinn) COW is the proud
yet puzzled mother of young animal
that seems to be half calf and half bear.
She ought to start board of trade with
it. Chicago Tribune.
When tho mercury monkeys with zero
For several weeks together,
Then we may remark, without stretching
the truth,
"There arc no flies on this weather."
-NeD York Journal.
Won Crussher-"After the encourage.
ment you have given me, to refuse me is
"a bitterly rude thing to do" Laura
"And to accept you would be still
more bitterly rued thing. Pitts5urg
Bulletin.
Tommy-"Papa, was playing with
the sickle this morning and fell down
and cut finger" Papa-"Did you
cry2" Tommy-"Nope, but Willie
did," Papa-"What did Willie cry
for2" Tommy-'It was Willie's finger
I cut. Brooklyn Citizen.
"Rosin is very fine violinist." "He
is, indeed; but there is something strange
about his musical ability" "Therc
isl" "Yes; he plays first fiddle in the
orchestra, but plays second fiddle ct