The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??, 1891-07-03
CHINESE JOKES.
Specimen Anecdotes from tho 10 Miller of
the Celestial Empire.


Specimen Anecdotes from the 10 Miller Of
the Celestial Empire.
We are accustomed to think of the
Chinese as solemn looking people with
slanting eyes and the corners of their
mouths much drawn down. Never
theless, they have textbook and its
name Is s.Siao Ii Siao." Here are
translations of some Of the jests. The
reader will be struck by the similarity
of many of them to western jokes:
A confirmed drunxard in his dreams
imagined that he had found cup of
excellent teddy and put it by the fire
to warm in order TO bring it's flavor out
the better. But the moment that he
attempted to taste the delicious
draught he awoke. Fool that was, -
he cried; '.why could l not have drunk
it cold!'
A certain man had his portrait
painted; and when it was finished the
painter requested him to inquire of the
passers-by what they thought of it, in
order that he might know how he had
succeeded. The other agreed. and
asked the first conner: "Do you think
this picture likeP" THE hat is ex-
extremely like" replied the would-bes
critic. He asked similar question
of second stranger, who answered
that the clothes seemed to be exactly
reproduced He was about to interro-
gate third, when the painter stopped
him and said: The resemblance of
the hat and clothes is of no import
ance; ask the gentleman what he
thinks of the face" The stranger
hesitated very long time; but at last,
not being able to escape giving an
answer, he replied: The beard and
hair are first-rate."
A rich man living between the FORCES
of two blacksmiths was continually
annoyed by the noise of the hammers,
and was in despair at being unable to
rest either by day or by might At
first he tried to induce them to hammer
more quietly; then he made them all
kinds of promises if they would only
change their abodes. The two black
smiths at last fell in with his proposals,
and he, transported with joy at the
prospect of their departure entertained
them regardless of expense at a fare
well banquet. At the end of the feast
he asked them where they intended to
set up their smithies. WELL" said
one of them. '.he who lived on your
left will go to the smithy on your right
and he who lived on your right will go
to that on your left"
A lady who had but lately been mar
ried, seeing her husband return after
three days. absence stole up secretly
behind him and gave him a kiss. The
husband was angry, and told her that
she had offended against all his notions
of propriety. Il am very sorry" she
exclaimed; II really didn't know it.
was you, my lover
In a certain house there was baby
that annoyed every one by it's continual
squalling. At last a physician was
called in. He administered bolus of
the soothing virtue of which he had a.
high opinion and offered to pass the
night in the house to observe the eff
fects of the remedy. After few hours,
hearing no noise, he exclaimed: 'Goodr
the child is cured" EYES," replied
the attendant 1.-The child has indeed
stopped crying, but the mother has be-
gun to mourn"
A certain man was condemned to
the thief's collar, whereupon some Of
his relatives seeing him, asked him
how he had brought such a punish
ment upon himself. He replied: LAS
was going along the road I CHANGED
to see on the ground little bit of rope
Thinking it might perhaps prove use
full l picked it up and proceeded on my
way. Such is the origin of my present
trouble" But" replied his relatives,
1--WE can not believe that the theft of a
piece of rope would bring you to this
misery" Said the thief: sIt is true
that there was something at the end
of the rope.'' They inquired what it
was. "Only," answered he, 1.-TWO little
draught Oxen" Ut may be mentioned
in passing that in 1872 a writer in the
British Quarterly Review quoted this
story as coming from a Chinese
source" though he did not allude to
''Siao Ii Siao." 1t is possible that the
heather Chinee has more than one jest
book. The date of 'Siao Ii Siao'' is
unknown; but with regard to this par
ticular tale the English have fairly
early claim to it. as it occurs in the
edition of Scogin's 'Jestes" (1613),
and possibly in also that of 1865, when
the book was first licensed.)