Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-11-19
sk,THEa GARDNER TALKS.
hottoet Are Good, but 1t Takes o..h =.
Buy Saleratus.

:. WITCH us cluD has no per-
nckler oizness befo' it.
Il noace dat some of yo' is great hands
fur notices. In my time has knowsd
neaps people wild notices, an nehhar
could see dat dey got along anv better
dan od'ler folks. De trubble seems 70
DC DAT &c motto an de man doan' exactly
mitch mp together. De LATEST, sleeniest
man l cher knowed had EXCELSIOR frr
his motto. De man who stole sixtaen
cnickens from my coop in Detroit had
Iur his motto. Honesty brings success. ,
~ is now ober seben vars since lent
three dollars to man who had no less
dan nve different notices to spur him
on, an hain't got dat money back Wit.
IT haln't de motto dat makes de man.
out eoe1 y man must make hisself. When
onlndig Watkins goes to de grocery fur
pound OF saleratus de grocer doan' AK
MIN what motto he am runnin bizness
on, but looks him in de eye an expects
him to come down wild de cold cash. IF
Samuel Shin had bin Twin fur the last
twenty-one vars by de golden principles
OF de motto of Strive to Do Right he
couldn't go out on Sixth avenue an
make it buy him three yards of caliker.
When dat caliker was cut off an rolled
up, Bruoder Shin would hev to plank
down de cash or offer good security.
IAN want to tell yo' dat one-half de
trubole we encounter in dis wurld Gums
from ou1 expectin too much of our Teller
men. We expect a man am gwine to
tell de troof when we know we'd dodge
it ourself; dat he's gwine to be honest
where we'd be tricky; dat he'll believe in
rs while we doubt him; dat he orter be
generous while we am stingy. In fact.
ives lookin fur odder folks to be perfect
while WE realize dat we ourselves am
chuck full O meanness.
81 has made it a rule all my life not to
expect too much of my Teller man. I've
knowed man to run long fur var or so
as level as a plank an as good natured as
squash. Then he'd suddenly kick up
an show his mean side We is all full o
streaks an whims an noshuns, an dar
Gums time when we've got to show 'em
out or bust de b'ller
II has Din panied to obsarve dispo-
sishun on de part of sartin members of.
dis club u be Gurus regardin DER nav
burs. l used to be dat way myself in de
long ago. Dere was a time in nv life
when, II strange Niger passed my
cabin ridin a straw Guild mewl an fol
lowed By yaller dawg, I'd stop hoein
con and sot down to wonder who he
was-whsr' he cum frum-how many
chill'en he had-wheder he wouldn't
trade dat dawg fur bar trap, an SO on
an so forth. / found it losin bizness an
/ quit. Any one of US who kin manage
to keep out of de hands of de doctors,
police an lawyers has about all de biz
hess he wants to see to.
IAN want to say few words to de
younger members of dis club on de sub
jick of spreadin deirselves. De odder day
l saw Three-Ply johnson. who is waitah
in hotel, gwine along Broadway wild so
much spread dat folks stopped to look
arter him an wonder how many banks
he owned. When we come right down
to facts, Brudder Johnson Arms about
ten dollars a week, an if he am heah to-
night I'll bet he hain't got fifty cents in
his pockeJ. What's de use, den, of all
dat spread What's de use of deceivin de
public: Let man be what he am. If
he's got seventeen millyon dollars, den
let him frow on seventeen millyon dol
lars with of style. If he haint got but
seventeen cents let him walk softly aroun
an attempt no decepshnn. De public
can't be deceived about desc things.
when Waydown Bebee gifts on dat
cape coat of his an goes sailing down
Broadway, nobody believes dat he owns
all dis town below Bleecker street. Dey
is right onto him for a chap who couldn't
buy fifteen cents worth of paregoric an
kyar. saw one of our members gwine
into bank de odder day wild great stiff
ness an importance, He just reckoned
dat ober fo'ty thousand people would
believe he was gwine in Oar to git $20,-
600 in cash an buy house on Lexington
avenue. but he was deceived. l dun
saw a man look arter him an say, i
wonder if dat niger is gwine to carry
coal in"
II saw anoder member standin down
by the possoffis an lookin at de Aston
House. He walked up an down an
looked an looked. He wanted people to
emagine dat he was gwlne to buy dat
hotel. He felt in his pocket an he asked
a man If Mr.. Astor was home, but he
deceived nc one. | was standin right
dar when 3 policeman said he mus dun
move on OF he'd give him de collar.
'.Jist a word or two mo. From whar
| stan kir count no less dan forty-two
great. large diamond pins glitterin on de
shirt bosunis an neckscarfs of members,
an reckon dere ar forty-two mo on de
back rows. De ideah wild cherry single
one of yo' is to make de public believe
yor pin cost at least $500, an dat 20 is
rollin in richness. Does de public SO
believe? Not much. De public knows
winder glass when it sees 1t. an de pub
lie pities 20 fur yo'r childish vanity.
We will row put ont de fab, upset de
water pail an depart to our various
homes. New York World.