Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-07-12

the Impulse which lea me &c discover " has
otherwise would not have allowed my
self to suspect, and though it will never
cease to cause me to desire your happiness.
must now cease 90 prompt nae to hope for
my own, for it would be idle in me to pre-
tend that what l have Internationally
found out is not perfectly clear TO me. And
though L have no right to comment upon
it, l can at no other time better ask you to
forgive me for being so injudictous. Al
low me 10 express to you, my dear Miss
Jones, my greatest respect and give you
my best wishes; and though cannot help
framing a suspicion as to the identity OF
the happy man, l promise you that l will,
not even think of congratulatiRG him until
your engagement is actually announced.
Forgive NE once more for my lack OF self
control, and pray do not judge IL too hard
ly."
This WAS too much. Ny feelings during
this polite but really heartrending speech
were so conflicting that, when ne stopped
and locked at me gravely 49, sadly, L
could hardly help screaming SSSh laugh
ter. But l was still actually afraid OF aim,
and could only stammsr out the truth.
''Oh, dear me, Mr.. EaliP' said oh,
don't know what you'll think-but I'm
not engaged to Mr.. -. I'm not engaged
to anybody-aud," I added desperately,
Pm not going TO bep'
For moment or two he did not speak,
and the expression OF his face hardly
changed, but ne gave slight start when
first spoke. Then he said, in his deepest
toncs:
Then am happy that you are still in
such a position that l may offer you my
hand and heart sincerely Here he broke
off for a minute and then went on to say
something about that being hardly the
place in which he had looked forward TO
asking me TO be his wife-but | could not
listen to him. Reayeps! What fool l
felt myself to bel And how noble he wasI
And yet, despite my admiration for him,
WAS very much vexed with him. l could
not understand It'll Why, why, when he
found that the girl he liked had been q TT
ing outrageousiyxvith asasher man, dfd he
not give his bride rein a shake and say
sdieu forerermore? This was his abomin-
able punctikousness! This was his consist
encyl How beautifully he had entangled
himself, first By his insane habit of eX-
planning himself, and then by his more in
sane habit of refusing TO take the fair ad-
vantage of the game? 1t is true that ne
may not have seen anything particular
ne may only have inferred from my blush
ing that something had happened-I pro
test don't know TO this day exactly what
be thought and cannot decide with any
satisfaction to myself. But | remember
what my own thoughts were likel couid
hear the chattering CT some people behind
US, and their inane laughter claCtering
about the rocks. l longed to sit down Just
where I was and cryl But I shook myself
together. Come, Ethel Jonesw said l,
"haye you no force OF character at ALP
At first felt as il l had swallowed the
mucilage bottle, but I motioned to Mr.
Hall, who was still speaking slowly and
grayely (heayen knows what he was sayingJ
aud began bravely enough.
"Oh, MIR. Hall" | said, ''if admiration
and respect could make me want to marry
you, it would be easy to say yes. But y1u
must not think of NE any more. l cannot
marry you-you would not ba happy If !
did"
Here paused-for want Of matter. Mr.
Hall was listening grayely; he made a
slight gesture of protest. Itried for speech
once more-I had no idea of what was
going to say. But restrained Mr.. Hall by
convulsive waves of nay hand, and present
~ got my voice, only to lose it again
gasped out a few words-bade him to for
get me-said that l didn't know what he
would think of me, and desired him not to
say anything more to me about it-"for'
said l. with a great gulp my nerves won't
stand it." And walked up to the Light
house as fast as possible.
Thus did Ethel Jones, the clever, the
self composed, the perspicGcious Ethel
Jones, fail utterly in he first crisisl | can
fairly say that with any other man it
would have been different; but Mr. Hall
maSDetized me, and by the superior weight
of mis- character compelled me to exhibit
myself In my baldest colors. During the
rest Of the afternoon l kept laughing fee
bly, to myself while thinking Of the picture
that I should have presented II l had given
way at the critical nonent-saated in a
stGgnant rock pool at the feet OF Middleton
Hall aud weeping BITTERLY l was terribly
Disguised with myself; longed to be able
to 20 through 1t all over again SO that
might try TO come of successful, yet ct the
sanae time could not help feeling that |
had done something vaguely heroic in
throwing away such a chance. In fact
do not know which was the stronger feel
ing-my vain regret or my understandable
pride.
After thinking it over for SONG days !
came TO the conclusion that after having
betrayed myself by that wretched blush |
had done the best thing possible in refusing
him instead Of trying to keep my hold or
him, for l felt confident that If he had III
tiInately married me it would have been
only from his sense of honor, and he would
have been naiserably unhappy to thiak he
was marrying firt And now, l said to
myself, it's all over, once for all, and can
begin my pursuit of Penn Charter with
out being distracted by thoughts of any
other man. But though agreed with my
self l was not by any means satisfied.
When l returned to town got togetheA q
copy of Matthew Arnold and { beautiful
little SCI of Macaulay's works that Mr.
Hall had given to me, AID sent them to his
club with 4 note saying that in view of
what had occurred | did not feel justified
IN keeping them. l received brief answer
thanking ME for my note, and telling me
that he was going to Heidelberg for the
winter to study Roman law. So, with a
sigh, in which disappointment and virtue
still struggled for the mastery, bade him
adieu, and he rode away.
But to return to NarragGnsett and MIR.
Charter. When ] came to begin my cam
paign in earnest found that Was by no
means as confident as had been. Perhaps
the adventure of which have Just been
speaking made me doubt the soundness of
my foresight and Judgment. l certainly
felt nervous and perhaps depressed. and
was little ct loss how to proceed. Luck
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