Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-03-26
A GREAT HEAD!

CURRENCY FOUNDED ON ESTIMATES.
Cincinnati Tmes-Star
: Jerry Simpson for some time has been
big with a secret as to how the govern
ment could issue money sufficient to put
every individual inhabitant of the
country on Easy street. 1t was believed
he would resist the temptation to reveal
this secret until the business of the Fif-
ty-second Congress began, when from
his seat he would launch it and over
whelm his Congressional confreres. He
could not hold it, however. 1t grew
too large for him to control. 1t rose up
and asserted itself In spite of himself
the sockless statesman was prematurely
unburdened. Whispered in the ear Of
a newspaper man, the scheme is for the
government to issue certificates based
on the estimated value of all the silver
mines of the country" This estimate,
of course, would be made by the most
sagacious men of the country after the
most careful surveys, and the sockless
Jerry would be one of which to be sure.
Great head! A Daniel Come to count
money and tell US how to make itI But
would this answer the purposef Is
there paper enough in America to carry
out the provisions of the suggestion of
this modern political economist, this
John Law philosopher warmed over?
We would like to hear an estimate from
Simpson as to whether the stock of pa
per is sufficient to carry to final frui-
tion this scheme which is to allow every
inhabitant of the country to live in
town, in corner lot, and in brown
stone mansion. 1t would be pity to
start the money presses and have their
feed give out. While the surveyors are
measuring the length, breadth and thick
ness of the silver mines, discovered and
to be discovered, it might be well for
them to consult the wood pulp artists of
the country and determine whether they
can cooperate successfully with the gi-
gantic enterprise. We want to begin
right in this thing.
And while in the business of estimat-
ing, if it found the stock of paper will
hold out why not take the future crops
of potatoes, corn, pumpkins, etc, into
account? We see no particular reason
why the general average should be con-
fined to silver mines. Then there is the
new hirsute Senator from Kansas, Col.
Peffer, who must not be overlooked in
he, -a1 nv In INF
some certificate issued on the estimated
value of the circulation of his agricul
tural weekly for the next half century.
Possibly he would like to raise little
monetary wind on an estimated value of
his whiskers spouted as collateral. 1t
must not be forgotten that Jerry is look
ing to the best interests of all the people
Of the country, the Digger Indian not
excepted. Now the Digger is known to
be passionately fond of grasshoppers.
There is no fish, flesh or fowl that can
compare with the 'grasshop" as tooth
some relish to the indigenous Dig. The
Kansas seventeen-year crop of grass
hoppers has therefore an extensive val
ue in the estimation of the Digger. and
since it is money, and plenty of it, Simp
son is after, certainly the Digger should
be selected as part of a Congressional
committee to estimate the value of fu-
ture grasshoppers, duly caught and can
ned. The grasshoppers could thus be
made to constitute another important
basis on which TO found a national cur
rency. Mr.. Simpsons proposition should
be extensively agitated in this country.
A great end may be subserved by it
By such agitation the country may for
The nonee forget that Jerry wears no
socks.