The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-11-17
I SOUGHT REFUGE IN FLIGHT.


SOUGHT REFUGE IN FLIGHT.
plause along our line of march were
inspiring and suggestive of yet greater
possibilities of amusement
Accordingly, they became moro
demonstrative. Ono of them suggested
the improbability of finding any flies
on me. Another accounted for this by
the opinion, dat der flies" didn't suf-
ficiently appreciate n soft thing.
Ere n block had been passed, my
company had been reinforced by re-
cruits to q full battalion. And l,
q martyr to dignity and, by po-
lite society, prohibited from n vulgar
exhibition of haste by running, was
therefore compelled to remain the
leading curiosity in n street circus.
The inconsistency of this REQUIRED to
me, and had acted from impulse, /
should have cut my sticks and boltcd.
But this would have been gratuitous
fun to my escort; for it is undeniable
that there is nothing in nature so we'll
calculated to make the public grin rs
the spectacle of a fat man on q dead
run.
Yet did conceive of plan for re-
lief by losing my costly silk umbrella.
which was Christmas gift from a
dear friend, who at the time could not
have foreseen the present narrowing
consequences.
And SO, just as I was about to hear
the sixth inquiry why kept my um-
brella dry at such deplorable sacrifice
to my person, sidled up to the gutter,
let the handle slide through my fingers
and hurried on.
All! happy idea! A grim story of
Russian mothers escape from pursuing
wolves by throwing to them her tender
babe, flashed into my mind. True, my
sacrifice was n mere umbrella; and the
scrambling pack of gamins in my rear
might have it and welcome. Yet an
other instant, and the whole herd were
again after me in full cry. "Say, mis-.
ter! Hey, bossl You'se lost yer UNI
breller Here it's" And the lost
article was flashed before me like q
magician's wand to bar my progress.
keep it, sonny" ! replied, rather
pctulantly; whereupon there was
great uproar.
"Dinny Costigan!" screamed young
citizen. I'm in on dat dere umbrella
there cnsucd tremendous onslaught
on Dennis by the excited claimant
Young Mr.. Costigan took to flight,
but to my disadvantage, he revolved
about my person. the claimant in hot
pursuit. forcsnw the inevitable con.
sequences to myself when the decisive
grapplc should occur, with my legs in
danger of violent seizure, front and
rear. And SO reclaimed the umbrella,
tossed the assembled company some
silver and passed on.
BY this time my silk tile was not the
object it ought to have been. Indeed,
my whole dripping person suggested an
oversaturatcd sponge. In view of my
pcrplexitics, you will please to pardon
my confession of acute mental and
physical distress.
At last, my sense of the improperly
of vulgar haste had to yield to the
cxigencies of the moment increased
my pace to shuttle, and then TO kind
of trot, shedding mental anathemas at
every step.
At this, the mob gleefully pursued
me. The eldest of the Arabs encircled
my person rs if were the adjunct Of a
merry-go-round, and the junior mem.
bers OF the tribe strayed across my
path, and ! stumbled over them. In
vain did eXpostulnte. and franticnlly
wave my crippled umbrella Their
bl6od was up and weakly sought
refuge in flight.
Down the street ran, fairly snorting
from the violence of my cxertions, the
juveniles after me, Yelling in chorus
selections from the popular operas,
such rs Comrades" and Where Did
You Get That IIat?"
At last, as car was sighted,
policeman in n rubber overcoat has
tened to my nssistance-as then sup.
posed; but subsequently, learned that
it was his benevolent purpose to re-
strain me, until he could communicate,
by telephone, with the various public
institutions wherein are confined per-
sons of deranged intellect Karl
Trego, in Yes Magazine.