St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-14
WHY NOT EAT ANTS i?

AT recent public banquet held at one
of our prominent hotels physical DEM
OnstratiOn of very unpleasant intensity
was threatened because the proprietor
of the hostelry attempted to palm off Oh
the guests a cheap domestic brand of
champagne instead Of the good WINE
which had been bargained for. The
rascaly innkeeper was called Oh for an
explanation, and, in response, replied
to toast which was not on the regular
programme, but which was listened to
with as much interest as any which
were. He admitted that the offensive
wine was not of the conventional char
acter, but claimed, by way of defense,
that it was much finer than any which
the lncensed assembly had been in the
habit of consuming. He said that it
was remnant of an expensive vintage
imported from Italy at tremendous
outlay when it was so highly priced
that men called it ''Lachrym8 Christi"
or, as he translated it, the tears Of
Christ. The sacred aspect of this Sug-
gestion quelled the disturbance, because
some did not consider it religious
to enter any further protest, and
others began to feel skeptical as
to the accuracy of their opinions.
The guests of two classes continued,
however, the most violent and Wrathful
imprecati0ns, and, in response to their
demands, the holy beverage was re-
moved and another substituted. One of
these classes was made up Of the men
who knew that the proprietor was lying,
and the other of those who said that it
did not make any difference whether he
was telling the truth or not-that what
their mature stomachs craved and could
assimilate was what they were used to,
and that they would not be satisfied
even with the wine which is reported to
make the pope lead such jolly life.
unless it was the same kind they had
been in the habit of drinking.
There is no mental pain in the world
like the pain of a new idea, and nothing
is so destructive of the comfort of the
digestive organs as strange Wand,
however attractive its intrinsic char
acter. For this same reason the mem
bers of our most prominent local club
to the house committee requesting that
hereafter the clubs bread shall be kept
OH the club house roof. This seems like
very extraordinary petition, but the
ants have ensconced themselves in ev-
cry other part of the building, and there
is the most complete unanlmity of opin-
ion that bread without ants is much
more desirable kind of food than bread
with ants. Those members of the club
who are the most learned have to allow
that there is no foundation in the nat
ure of things why ants should not be
popular for human consumption. To
be sure, ants are rather insipid, but SO
are good many other dishes. But, in
the end, they have to fall back on the
position that there exists prejudice
against the habit, however unreasonable
it may be. They say that even sailors,
whose assimilative apparatus is notori-
ouSly robust, knock the worms out of
their sea biscuit before their molars
close upon them, and that similar priv
ileges ought to be extended to a social
club. The time which business man
can give to his lunch, and the smallness
of the ants, make it impossible for such
one, however. to be sure that he has
done this completely. The public may
therefore expect to see a bread basket
built on the club house top. This shows
what creatures Of habit and prejudice
men are