The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-08-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Erasures on account books are sure
signs of bigger scrape coming. Puck.
When man fights in his mind he al
wdys comes out victorious. .-AtchiSoD
Globe.
When one denies his own statements
he is practising much sclf-denial.-Dal-
las Nelos.
Assignment is the moral anesthetic
that relieves man from payin'. - Wash
ington Post.
Mr.. Crossly-'I tell you before 1 go
that want beef for dinner, and when
get home what do 1 fnd!" Mrs. Cross
ley-"Foult, every time. ."-Neo Yorb
Sun.
He (accepted)-"Ah what happinessI
Now can call you mine, lovem She
"Ah! You haven't got through with
your interview with papa yet. ."-Teras
SytingS.
A Sad Case: Mrs. Murphy--"An'
sure, Mrs. O'Brien, did your poor man
die aisy, rest his SOUL" Mrs. O'Brien--
"Indade not, Mrs. Murphy. 1t nearly
kilt poor Pat to die" q
Jake Jimpson-"You are the apple of
my eye, dear" Cora Bellows-''And
you are the peach of mine" "Why the
peach2" "You are such perpetual fail
ure. ."-NeU York Herald.
Mr.. Oldgrad (Class of '6O)--''Ah, this
is our class picture. All, old boy, we
were younger then than we are now."
Mr.. De Gree-''Yes, and knew great
deal more. "-BrooklyH Lire.
GLOW will l enter the money the
cashier skipped WITH" asked the book
keeper, "under profit and loss'" "No;
suppose you put it under running ex-
penses. ."--PhiladeIphia Times.
They say that woman cannot reason,
but as long as she has her faculty of in
tuition she seems to get along all right.
Besides, she can usually get a man to
reason for her.-SOmerOWe Journal.
There may not be any royal road to
wealth, but there is a royal road to learn
ing. When man gets rich the world
Is willing to regard everything he says
as the utterances Of a sage. e.-!SOnsergiHs
Journal.
she-'I am afraid that bell ringing
means another caller" He Gmploringly)
-"You know there is such Il thing as
your not being at home" She--"Yes;
and there is such thing as my being
engaged"
Genius may be merely a capacity for
hard work, but it is hard to make the
neighbors believe that there is any
genius about the young woman who
practises the scales four hour day
indianapolis journal.
Emersonia Dorchester - "Olivinia
Holmes is not the recherche girl 1
thought she was" Russellina Waldo
"What has occurred?" Emersonia Dor
chester-"I noticed to-day that she was
wearing her winter spectacles. "-Jea-
eLers' Circular.
Prudence-"Why did you hurry
around the corner when you met Briggs
a moment ago2" "Afraid of himp
"Whyw "Yesterday he paid me back
dollar he borrowed six months ago,
and Pm shorter than usual this week. -
Ne,O York. Recorder.
"And what, " asked the young woman
who is sometimes facetious, "is the rank
of the individual who brings up in tho
rear with a bucket aud a tin cup~
"Oh," replied the member of the militia,
without hesitation, she is a lemonade
de camp. - Washington Post.
Alice-'T met Minnie Renee to-day,
and she showed me the engagement ring
that Horace Fledgely gave her, Gwen
dolin--'Is it a pretty oue!' Alice
"YOu remember the one he gave you and
mel' Gweudolin--"Let me think. Oh,
yes" Alice-''It's the same ring. -
JeicelerS' Circuiar.
They took the Fit,hburg from Boston
to Troy. At the Falls the brakeman
thrust his head in at the door and seemed
to errogate-"Ioosick? Hoosick2n
Alfred Rufus looked inquiringly around
the car, and discovering no object in
need of physicnn's care, appealed to
his father-"Papa, who is sickW-
Pharmaceutical Era.
A small Bath scloolboy, who had
been sent home by his teacher because
his sister had the measles, was noticed
by that teacher at the next recess play
ing with the other children in the school
yard. Johnny, didn't | tell You not
to come to school while your sisters had
the measlesF' "Yes, but am not going
in school; l only came TO play with the
boys before it begins, ,"-Btth Times.
A candidate was being examined 10y
four professors. Feeling extremely nery-
Gus his memory failed him several times.
At last Que of the professors growing
impatient, thundered ont: "Why, YOU
cannot quote a single passage of Scrip
ture corecty' ayes / camp exclaimed
the candidate, al just happen 10 re-
member passage in the Revelations;
And | lifted up my eyes AID beheld
four great beasts. '-Dresdeasy Assciger.