Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-06-19

Opportuntty-A Lover OK
Misses Etc, Etc.
'vThe nuptial knot" said, "dear maid,
Is something that wot
The fates, in their benignant way,
Did you and me allot.n
She tossed her pretty curls and said,
II seek the nuptial not"
NAUTICAL, YET TRUE.
e'In making will, Mr.. Higgins, what
is the first thing to dos"
"Look out for breakers. "-Ne,o York |
Sun.
PRESUMPTION.
Husband-"why do you always find
fault with met"
Wife-"I presume it is because you
always have fault with you" y IYashing-
ton Star.
A LOVER OF MISSES.
"Papa, what is philanthropist3"
ga lover of man."
!. "And what is misanthropist2"
"Hem-er-I think it's lover of
woman. "-Ndoo York San.
n MATRIMONIAL VENTURE.
Blinkcrs-"Hello, Winkers. hear
you married woman with On indepen-
dent fortune"
Winkers (sadly)-"N-o; 1 married
fortune with an independent woman. D
.Ne,O YORK. Weekly.
A NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
s'I hear Johnny Hicks, the son of the
novelist, threw a ruler ut his teacher"
Eyes. Johnny overheard the teacher
telling some one that Mr.. Hicks was the
greatest story teller he knew and Johnny
got mad. "-Munsey's Weekly.
noRRIp SARCASM.
"Hurry up, Mary" cried John.
"Tm coming as quick as can. Tin
changing my Shoes"
tOh, you are. I thought from the
time you were taking you were changing
your mind. "-Ne,o York Sun.
Sniley-''I hadn't been out of the
house five minutes this morning when 1
found five dollar gold piece"
Yonker-''Where did you find it2"
Sniley-"In my pocket; my wife
mistook it for cent. "-Nunsey's
Weekly.
Ethcl-tNext year, when the Worlds
Fair at Chicago is to be opened, will be
leap year."
Maud-"So it will! And the country
will probably swarm with prominent
Foreigners. What delightful pros
pect"-LDe.
ONE VIEW OF IT.
ssIs the tnttooed man a great man,
Ipapa2" asked Willie.
''Not necessarily" replied his father.
"Whya"
AZ supposed he must be to have SO
many decorations conferred on him. -
-Munsey's Weekly.
TOO FAX AWAY.
First Banker--"What sort of a man
is your cashier2"
Second Bankcr-"He is beyond re-
proach."
! First Bankcr-"Indeed"
Second Banker-'tYes. He reached
Canada last night. -Mmnsey's Weekly.
sprpIsr crp1
! Daughtcr-"A Mother, can't 1 go over
to my friend, Clara's, and stay tonight"
& lMother-''Indeed, you shan't. I
heard that young Fred Falsetto tell you
the College Glec Club was to come here
and serenade you tonight, and you
needn't think I'm going to Stay here and
suffer alone. "-LDe.
A MINIsTERINc ANGEL.
Doctor-"You don't seem to improve
as rapidly as I could wish, young man."
Paticnt-"No; 1 guess it is the
nurse"
Doctor-"Thc nursc2 What is the
matter with herr"
Patient-"shc is only eighteen, doc.
tor. "-Mcio York Sun.
ANOTHER coRNELIAN JEWEL.
Eate--"Mrs. Flasher used to declare
that her husband was jewel. 1 rever
see him with her, however, nowadays"
Mattie-"Ah, well, you must remem-
Der that jewels are now considered vul-
gor. No lady of such correct taste as
Mrs. Flasher would think of wearing
them. boston transcript.
!, ANYTHING TO KEEP THE PEACE.
Pcrtman-"Has Thompson married
his typewriter yet2"
Van Leer-'sNo; he was going to,
when his cook threatened to leave"
Pertman-"What had that got to do
with it?'
Van Lecr-' Nothing; only he married
the cook !"-Br0okzyn Life.
r..