The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-03-06
A MAN UNDER THE BED.
How My Search of Forty Years
Was Finally Rewarded.

am an old lady who never was
married and l feel as young and am
nearly as active as ever.
| suppose not having the care and
worry of husband has preserved my
health and strength and-I was Just
going to add-my beauty, for l still
have more than most women of half
my age with twice my experience.
And, while I'm in the humor, I'll men,
ton that I've seen sixty-ive summers
though | know from my sprightliness
you wouldn't believe it.
Like every other spinster I've always
looked under my bed before retiring
for the night. Of course ! never ex-
pected to find a man there, and
wouldn't have been afraid of one if
there was, but somehow l got in the
habit of doing SO and kept it up uncon-
sciously. Likely the story of the old
woman who found one after searching
forty years in vain started me.
AS q wise precaution, however, I al
ways have weapon in my hand while
making my nightly examinations.
This weapon is solid brass-handled
and heavy iron poker about two feet in
length, straight and pointed at the end
and tied with a blue ribbon to hang by
my bedside either at home or where l
make visits, for never travel without
it. Although you may smile at the
poker-or at me-still it is wicked
affair and liable to make a man more
crack Drained than before if his head
should come in contact with it, espe-
cially if it's far end was heated to d
white glow and then pointed straight
at his nose, as l have often dreamed OF
doing.
Now. as you know what a dangerous
old lady am, I'll commence my story
l was on Christmas visit at my
nephew's home in a country town. The
house, originally of good size, had beer
added to from time to time until il
grew into a large and rambling struc
ture in which it was difficult for q
stranger to find the way, even in day
light. After dark it was mystery not
to be explored by any one outside OF
those who lived there. 1t stood alone
among gloomy fir trees some distance
from the road, and seemed so bidder
that / wondered how Santa Claus evel
found it.
Beautiful in summer, it was more sc
in winter, set off by the snow and the
evergreens through which the winds
soughed SO drearily at night when al
was cold and black without
| arrived in the dusk on Christina.
eve, and the dozen or so of merry chill
drcn gathered from city relatives were
having a lively racket, and making {
most delightful change from the ordi
nary stiffness of the place.
When supper was announced, and we
all walked into the dining-room, dom
know what possessed me to lift q corner
of the cloth and peer under the table
before sitting down; for nothing Ger
tainly could have been there except the
cat. But / did so-from force of habit
of course, for was quick-witted as any
of them-and that little unconscious ac
set them all to joking at my expens,
about women looking under beds fol
robbers and men and other things
equally as foolish.
l didn't mind their fun bit, ant
laughed as heartily as the rest when my
nephew wanted to know if 1 hat
brought the poker with its blue ribbon
in case l woke up in the night ant
found Santa Claus filling my stockings
Then, good-naturedly, inquired wha
he knew about poker and how much i
cost him at the club, and he was glat
enough to drop the subject before hi
wife became inquisitive concerning
and asked questions.
But the boys, particularly the biz
ones, thought it was very funny, and
suspected from their glances and whis
pering together after supper they wer'
going to play trick on their old aunt,
in spite of her bringing a trunkful o
pretty Christmas gifts for everybody
And, when escorted by servant maic
to my room (Which never would have
found alone) to see to bringing thu