The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-02-18
A NEW BOARDER STORY.
A FIRST NIGHT IN A THEATRICAL
BOARDING HOUSE.
Why One Old Boarder Cannot Be Expected
to Admire the Stsge-A Narrowing Ex-
perienee of Ono Man That May Be
Easily Duplicated Many Times.

81 s'pose I've never told you about that
winter / spent in West - street. IL may
teach you something and be warning il
you ever feel like turning into high class
emotional actor, so l don't mind letting
you into the secret. I've been knocking
round in boarding houses so many years
thought knew every freak that the world
could show. I'd seen poker sharps and
bunco steerers, TO say nothing of kittenish
old maids, grass widows and every other
serpent that was shut out of paradise with
Adam and Eve.
well, I was told that Mrs. Dolittle, in
West - street, kept a nice, quiet house,
irreproachable references given and re-
CURED and all the rest of it. went there
with Bible in my pocket, my certificate
of birth and baptism in my hand, and sew
enteen business testimonials, in a Glad
stone bag. Mrs. D. seemed pleased, and
engaged a room. was a stranger, ard
she took me In.
The first night / spent there knew no
one in particular, so when l went down to
dinner tried TO size up the company col
iectively There seemed to be an unusual
lot of young people. Four young women,
two dark and two fair; three blonde young
men, one very white, one medium, hair
short on top of his head, one red checked,
one looking very pious.
THE PEOPLE.
"Just opposite me sat a middle aged
young woman with snub nose, who talked
all the time. I'd seen that sort before.
Very funny at other folks expense. Dis
appointed in life and devoted TO lies. Oh,
yesl i knew what she was Ike, so Just
said. 'Quicksand,' and passed by on the
other side. But thought the rest of them
would bear watching. The dinner was the
regulation meal, and when it was over l
went up to the fourth floor hall bedroom.
81 sat down and began TO read the paper
Pretty soon a low, groaning noise was
heard, evidently a woman's voice, getting
louder and louder, till it resembled roar
ing Niagara, oh-o-o-h-A-A-H-Ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, dying away in demoniac laugh.
1t was startling, but | knew that queer
things happen in boarding houses, so sat
still. In minute new voice began, oh,
young Lochinvari Oh, young Lochinvarl
Oh, young Lochinvarp There's a maniac in
this house, thought. got up, examined
the lock and sat down again reassured
Then came the sound of blows-awful
blows-not one or two, but innumerable,
and after each one strange shaking of the
house, as if body had been flung violently
to the floor. There's murder here, sureP
said /, and rushed into the hall. Another
voice, masculine this time, trombone quail
ity: L dare do all that may become man.
Who dares do more is nonen
L say, Duke, which one you going
home with tonight Which oneg All
three oh, you'll Oh, you are a masherl
How'll you manage it?' Take Carrie
home after first act from the Star; rush up
to Days and get Minnie end of second act;
go on to X. & b. s and bring Bessie out at
1872 oh, you old sinner! Oh, you wicked
old wretchP accompanied with shrieks Of
laughter in mingled soprano, tenor and
bass voices.
WHAT IT MEANT.
"Once more those terrific blows, but this
time there was something queer about
them. 1t sounded as if some one were
jumping off step ladder. A dismayed
feminine voice exclaimed: "Oh, Jenny, I've
kicked my second slipper into the street
and the first one over tie folding bedl
What'Il dor
''T don't know; don't bother me. Can't
you see I'm trying to get my lines? I'll
speak to him like a saucy lackey-n-m
M Ladies, any one at home tonight
oh, yes; come in, Hamlet; come, in, Ham,
old boyP Deep Hamlet, thou
hast thy father much offended Tenor
Mother, you have my father much Of
fended.'
"'Oh, this is awfulr said l TO myself
why, the house is filed with raviug,
crazy lunaticsp just then the girl came
up the stairs with pitchers of icewater.
My good girl gasped, in Heavens
name, tell me what's the matterl What is
it? Who's crazy in this house? What's
the matter with the men|
THE girl grinned. Her name was Maria
and a very pretty girl she was. Crazy
she said, not bit of it. Why, they're all
going on the stage
"'All? Whof
"'Why, those four young ladies and that
fair young man you saw at dinner
(which one? The one with thin hairY
"'He? Oh, dear mol He's sweet young
man. He has lots Of friends on the stage
ladies, you know, and he goes every night
and takes 'em home after they come off.
Says he has to work pretty hard! Can't
AXE more than four home IN a night! Says
be has to work pretty hard TO do that!
Never gets round to each one more than
once a week. Oh, we all love himl He
'ays he never means 70 go on the stage; he
Knows it all by heart
EXPLANATIONS.
"'Well, who are the other young men"
That nice fair one Is minister's son.
&c wanted TO play Hamlet. but they told
lin he'd do better in a variety show. One
If those fair young ladies is what they call
IN ingenue | don't know what that ia,
1ut she wears garden hats and has her hair
Iown her back most Of the time, and the
other one, she's what they call song and
lance artist. She can kick six feet higher
han her own head. One OF those dark
7oung ladies is trying 70 get into light
,pera-
She had to move out OF three boarding
houses. SbS Eorks hard. She Sings every
light till L O'Clock ana -Sc,irs every morn
ng at : That other dark yo-1g lady
hey call her Mrs. Siddons, cause her
eacher says she's got tears in her voice. II
ounds like sore throat 70 me. Why
dded Maria, every one in the house Is go
AZ on the stage 'cepJ tina; red checked
-oung man-he's a Sunday school teacher. /
nd his mother won't have it-and that
-oung woman that sat opposite 70 you
And why in the name Of Shakespeare
sn't she going onf'
well, you see, they say she was born
or : critic a1d manager wouldn't dare
o take her ia his company because she'd I
e sure 70 be shot inside Of twenty-four /
.ours Why, I'm studying for the stage
nyselfl I 20 and take a lesson whenever +
IS nv Thursday OUTPUT I've got a broth [
r-be's q mean old thing-sald II be ever
angkt nee on am stage, unless y was a
fifth avenue rapid transit, he'd come on /
na chase ne of with a club. Bot I'll get
here yet! I'm Just bound 10 act Ike Cora 4
otter and Mrs Langtry, and its great /