The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-05-30


learned that Artemus was In town.
hunted him up. and he returned with
mo to the hotel His face was thin, his
eyes abnormally bright and his Spirits
somewhat depressed. He had Just con-
tributed his first article to Punch. It
didn't suit him. In fact he regarded it
with scorn and referred to It - internal
gihberish.' Thus weighted down with
the blues, he greeted Mrs. Converse, and
after formal welcome had been ex.
changed, exploded: Harriet. how nice
your hair looksl | never can get mine
to suit. Indeed nothing about me curls
except this blamed big nose Of mine.
All the rest IL angles.'"
Then he went on to unburden his soul
Of various grievances The chief Of these
was his inability to secure = suitable
hall in which to deliver his lectures.
Finally he frightened up in the quaint
and lovable fashion that 80 endeared him
to his friends. and suggested . visit to
the theatre.
"We'u get you nice seat. Harriet"
he urged, land then l want Frank to
loaf around among the gods with me.
Perhaps can pick up few ideas"
Here is Mrs. Converse's version Of
what followed: 1.-The boys saw me COM
fortably placed in one Of the stalls and
then left. grew interested as the play
progressed and had forgotten them for q
moment, when all at once the house was
filled with . sharp, penetrating, uproar-
ious laugh. It came from the top gal.
lery, and looking up saw Artemus and
my husband surrounded by an amused
and sympathetic crowd Of people whose
attention had been distracted from tho
stage by the funny H'American's' sto-
ries. Quiet succeeded. but when the
curtain went down NO one appeared to
escort me home. went to the front Of
the theatre and there found Frank try
ing to reason with his cousin. Artemus
was in one Of the widest Of his prank
ish humors. and was engaged in dissem-
mating information to y cabman ON the
results Of the civil war and the outlook
for reconstruction in the southern states.
1t see,ns that the boys had left the gxl-
lery and were coming in from the street
TO take charge Of me when they were
greeted with tho query:
'"Keb. gentsr
"Artemus stopped and remarked.
Frank. here's chance 10 do missionary
work Then turning to tho driver be
continued: No, sir: don't wish keb,
but desire . kebman. What Il your
charge per hour
1.-TWO and six anywhere In the city,
dr.
"'Hers's your two and six and . shil.
ling extra for tip Now. Iwant you to
stand there. look me In tho eye and 10.
ceivs instruction regarding tho perilous
state OF a6airs now prevalent in the
great republic over which waves the
Starr and Stripes.'
"Frank AMI I went homo while no
was still talking. He called next day
and remarked gleefully: 4 poured red
hot facts into that Britisher and the ~
sembled multitude for twenty minutes.
Then cabby offered me the money back
70 1ct him Oh. and let.'"
The only place Browne thought suit
able for the delivery Of his lectures was
Egyptian hall. and that chanced to b
leased for the season to IN English hu-
snotist named George Rose. Rose, over
tho nom do plume OF Arthur Sketchly,
had written = lot Of articles on The
Experiences Of 4rs. Brown" These hs
had utilised with some success - ma
terial for = course Of lectures.
'One day." said Mr.. Converse. II
heard Artemus coming along tho coszi-
dor 10 our apartments laughing uproar-
jouxly. He burst through the door and
cried. Frank, Il you1l help mo I thinkI
can ret Egyptian hall within TIE week.