davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

crab, and pervasive As . ringworm or .
bad Joke. He knows exactly how he
could have won the battle Of Gettys-
burg, and how Napoleon could have
granulated and pulverized Wellington
1t Waterloo. Nothing can make you
short-winded quicker than the Smart
Alexis contempt for the consensus Of
enlightened opinion ON any given sub
iect He would sweeten his coffee with
salt II he didn't have to drink It him
self.
The Smart Aleck Is very proud OF hia
knowledge of all the arts of making
fortune. especially when his own life
has been spent in . varied and pict-
uresque familiarity with . lack Of
money. His faith in his own om-
niscience Is something sublime. and
equaled only by the lordly condescen-
sion with which he is always willing to
dispense wisdom and information. He
showers his knowledge about him Is q
tender-hearted philanthropist scatters
pennies ON q street crowded with beg
gars. He will complain Of the prevail
ing plethora of money, while carrying a
brick-bat in his coat-tail pocket in order
to make his coat-tails hang right in do
ing duty rs . screen for q disabled pair
Of trousers. lie will declaim against
q proposed imitation of the currency,
while his last weeks wash is still quar-
autined at q Chinese laundry. He Is
generally Of the opinion that our
climatic conditions would have been
much better II the earth revolved
around the sun ON q triangular. or
rectangular. instead Of the present
crude ar.i botched arrangement
The Smart Aleck is, altogether, o
fearful and wonderful affair, and prom
ises to be with MS a long, long time.-
]. A. Macon, in Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
hUMO

-Johnson-''OldS Shipwright has lost
another bark" Brown-'Indeed! Which
one was it?" Johnson-''The pug
Binghamton Republican.
"A Forbidding Character.-''J don't
like the ossified man." confided the fat
woman in the museum to the living
skeleton. 'sNor L." replied His Bone
lets; IL cant abide him. He never unr
bendsL"-Puck.
buy . pair Of eyeglasses from
me, sir?" asked the peddler, finer OF
more lasting wares You won't find in
the city. have been fired three times
to-day out Of second-story windows and
not q single glass is brolen."-Flie
gende Blatter.
-Friend-"You have only been mar
ried q week, and here find you in
tears" Young Wife-"Yes, my hus-
band has been trying to get elected on
the local board. and have been read
ing in the papers what an unmitigated
scoundrel he is-''
"A young Mexican never pays for
the tickets when he takes a young wom-
an to the theater. The lsdy's father
attends to that; but IL the young man
is Obliged to pay for the supper after
the theater the girl might almost as
well have NO father.-NoEfistown Her
aid. .
Mrs Sanso 81 trust that we ahall
see great deal Of your friend when he
comes TO the city. Ny daughter win
be back fro0 Europe BY the time he
comes. She Il wonderful pianist, you
know" Mr.. .Rodd-'Oh, my friend
won't mind that He il - deaf Is .
post."-Harper's Bazaar.
"A man who was eating large. raw
carrot stopped woman on Du6ield
street the day after New Years and
said: Madame, could you give me ten
cents to buy food withr' ''Why, you
seem 10 have plenty" she answered
Raw carrot--seev' he sid, - he ex.
tended it. "Yes. but don't you know
that rawcarrot contains ninety.three
per cent Of clear nutrinent against
only thirty-three in snincs PIE q plum
pudding? You ought to b thankful.
cir; very thankful as
-He Told the Truth.-Presj1ent
Bo0rd of Police Commissioners-''We
are vevy sorry to say, O'Hoolahap. that
yoa are discharged IRON the force "
0'HoolaAan-"An' fer phat cause. yer
Honorr' President-"A jewelTy-store
was burglarised in Jour district last
Hight. DID you meet any one On your
beat .lAsk night7" O'Hoolahan-"Yis.
your Honor; mt man, an he said.
said he. he wW going 70 open . jewell
lu-sture." President-s'He did open .
iewelEy-store. and stole ave thousand
dollafs' worth Of goodAn O'Hooashan-
'Ths man may have bssas tha1a. b11
y wls - Hw"-JSwslagt c!xaak !.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

from their purpose, that resistance
would be useless, and perhaps danger
ous. that to give the alarm would b
impossible now that they knew had
seen them. To keep my mother from
awakiug and to save the money were
the thoughts uppermost In my mind.
All this flashed scroas my brain dur.
ing the almost unappreciable instant
that we stood looking at each other; and
l suppose there seemed to the aston
ished burglars no interval at all before
I rushed forward and embraced and
kissed each of them, exclaiming:
s'Oh, Uucle Tom and Cousin Jim!
I'm SO glad to see y0u. It was so late
/ had almost given You up. I suppose
you wouldn't know me any moro than
I would you. Let me zee. l was two
years old when you were here before,
wasn't 1? Mother is no better than she
was when we wrote last, 50 we mustn't
wake her up. I will get . lamp and
show you right to your room for you
must be tired. How is Martha?"
While poured forth this volley of
words, the burglars had had time to
take in the situation, and I saw them
exchange q glance which plainly said
''Let's carry it out"
Martha? Oh, she's quite well. Had
. bad cold. bnt she's getting over il, I"
replied the younger man in tone that
implied lifelong intimacy with MAR
tha."
slows your father?"
Fathers well.' replied: ''he was
called away suddenly this evening but
we expect him back tomorrow. He'll
be sorry not to have been here to greet
you," added with perfect truth.
"Never mind about light" said the
elder burglar. as I made . motion to
light lamp standing on the table.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

eOWu Oh WeSVefu PcnnSylvanld. we
had but one near neighbor, farmer.
whose place adjoined ours. My father
was superintendent of the B iron
works, and, on the memorable day of
which l am about to relate, he had re-
ceived large sum of money for dis
tribution among the employees, accord
ing to their respective duties. In the
evening he received a telegram, calling
him away on urgent business. He did
not dare take the money with him on
his horseback ride into the town where
he was TO catch the ten o'clock express,
for the roads were lonely, and con-
sidered rather dangerous by night.
There was one spot, called the Gorge,
where the road narrowed suddenly to
hardly more than the width Of q foot
path, and ran through q piece of dense
woods, the thick trees Of which met
over the way. This part was gloomy
by day, and by night it was darkness
no ray of light could penetrate. A
turbulent stream ran in the woods at
one side, and at . certain point be-
tween two rocks there was a miniature
whirlpool-thc delight of small boys by
day. the horror of pious people by
night. Blood-curdling tales were told
of masked men, cleaning knives, and
lone travellers who had never returned
from the Gorge. SuperstitiOus people
pointed to the whirlpool, and warned
their children not to 60 near the ab'
horred spot But ], being of practical
aH
that nothing greater than q leaf OF
twig ever had been or ever could be
sucked into that whirlpool.
However that may have been, on this
particular night was left in charge OF
the house and the money and, most i'm.
portant of all, of my sick mother. She
was suffering from heart trouble, and
the doctors had said that any shock OF
even special anxiety might prove fatal
to her. My brothers were both away
to college.
Although was not naturally timid,
confess that it was with some trepi.
dation that went the rounds of the
house late that night to see that all was
secure. After had gone to my room
thought I heard the rattling of a base
ment door, so went around again to
every door and window, fastening
every lock and sliding every bolt.
paused at the door of my mothers room
until her soft, irregular breathing as-
sured me she was asleep. Then re
tired to my own room. aHr
What strange noises one hears in the
dead watches of the night and what a
night that was for them!
Hay awake . long time, straining my
ears at every sound and conjuring up in
INV excited imagination terrible images
gathered from all the tales had ever
heard of robbcrics, witchcraft and
ghosts. At last I fell into a restless
sleep and realized in my dreams the
fancies of my Imagination All of a
sudden 1 found myself sitting bolt up.
right in bed, the cold sweat standing
out in large drops on my forehead and
my hands clutching spasmodically nj
the bedclothcs. listened and heard q
slow, grating sound which seemed ia
come from the basement At first
thought it must be the echo of my last
dream, but Is grew more fully
awake the sound became more and
more distinct, until was convinced
that it was no fancy. Suddenly II
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

Mrs Lakeside (Chicago)-l should
like to know what's got into that Mrs.
De Fair. never saw such uppishness.
met her In q restaurant to-day, and
she pretended not to see me.
Mr.. L.-Were you alone?
Mrs. L.-No, was with her husband
IN. Y. Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
In the Sleigh.

'This robe is . bearskin, isn't u,
George?" the fair one asked, as they
sped along the hard. smooth road.
"Yes, darling; whyT'
''Oh, / had reasons for thinking So"
A great, strong light shone on George.
and aftcrward he drove with one hand.
Boston Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

FIRST.
1--WE can see to get o bed by the lam
tern, and a light might disturb yous
mother. Sorry's she's sick" ~
l saw that he was afraid their un-
couth appearance might arouse my sus-
picions, SO l readily acquiesced.
'.Are you alone with your mothcr?"
asked the young man.
YES" 1 answered. "Father left mo
in charge of the house and mother"
weren't you afraidY' asked the elder
burglar, kindly.
"Yes, q little" replied; Lut now I
sha'n't be-" and l turned . trustful
glance up to him that I hoped would
melt his hard heart Meanwhile, we
were ascending the stairs to the guest
room. showed them in and paused at
the door. -l-
I'VE thought you'd all be asleep. and
we could get in without disturbing
you,' said the younger burglar, in .
somewhat embarrassed way.
..Yes, it was very kind OF you, Cousin
Tom" said. '.Now let me bring you
q pitcher of water and q little some
thing to eat" added; ':you must be
hungry"
.Oh, no." said the burglars; ''we're
not Mt all hungry; it isn't necessary.
We mustn't keep you up any longer"
l saw they wanted Ine to 60 to bed. 20
that they could have an opportunity to
20 ON with their work.
.Oh. yes" /" said I; 1t won't take me
but few minutes. and then I'll go to
bed without saying another word and
let you have good rest Sleep as long
as you want to in the morning. We
shan't have breakfast till late"
So saying, / took the empty pitcher
and went out leaving the door wide
open. Itripped two flights of stairs to
the basement. / was trembling all
over lest my scheme should not prove
successful. had a confused sense that
when kissed them in my inward re-
coil from them and excitement had
called the younger man Uncle Tom and
and the elder Cousin Jim, and that
afterward in trying to correct myself l
had called them Cousin Tom and Uncle
Jim. Still was pretty sure they had
not noticed it.
l slipped out Of the basement door
and fairly few across the field to
Farmer Browns house. dared not
look behind me for fear should see .
multitude Of shadowy shapes pursuing
me. Visions. horrible visions, rose be-
fore my eyes l imagined the burglars
going downstairs to SEQ why / was
zone 50 long, and not finding me. kill
inr INV mother In revenge for my
treachery. It seemed hours before I
reached the door. although 1t could not
have been more than few minutes.
aroused the family, and Farmer Brown,
his son and the hired man quickly pre-
pared to return with me. Not more
than ten minutes from the time left
the door Of the guest room We were as
cending the stairs in bresthless expec-
tation. Farmer Brown reached the
door first Instead Of going in he
turned to me with . blank look Of in
ouiry on his face. IRlanced in and saw
that the room was empty. My worst
fears had then been realized! Without
. word l turned and rushed to my moth
er's room. Thank God! she was there,
safe and sound, and s&ill aslsep. Then
l went to the place where che money
was hidden. II was al there. We
went slowly from room to room OF the
whole house looking in every corner
and under every sofa and table. Moth
ing was taken, but the men were mo-
where to be found.-Ethel wilkinson,
in n. Y. Independent
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
Going to Stop It.

Landlord-I want to notify y0u that
want the room you occupy.
Single Lodger-Why. what's the mat
ter?
I'm the 6rst place, you have not paid
your rent; and. secondly. you kiss my
wife every time my back is turned
That's going to stop on the first OF next
month. Texas Siftings.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
CAsT.oFF GARMENTS.


WHIST - Do when uow1 u HopelAee!y
Ous oe YoshsoD.
When gown is 90 hopelessly out Of
fashion that IL will not answer even for
home wear. O when it IL for any other
reason hors de combat. do not hang II
away in closet. to take up room. q
shut 1t up n . chest. to grow musty.
First Of all get 1t thoroughly cleansed.
II It is composed of washing goods,
have 1t washed In its entirety, - clean
clothes are 50 much pleasanter to handle
than soiled ones. Puhs and tucka
should, of course, be taken out first. and
draperies that come Oh easily may be
removed and washed separately. II the
material will not wash, brush and afr
thoroughly, leaving the task Of remov.
ing stains, etc., till later on. When 1t
Is - clean IS it is practicable to make
it. rip it into its constituent parts.
Such portions as are quite used up.
detach and put aside. along with very
small pieces, for rags-to be cold to
rag dealer, or got out OF the way in any
manner that seems best. Buttons sAA
hooks-and-eyes should be put into . box
kept for that purpose. They can al
most always be used again. Suoh parts
Of the lining - are still sound. iron
smoothly, roll into nice even bundles.
and put away. The material Of the
gown proper which is still good press
carefully out, fold like . piece
Of new goods, and put away
in = chest kept sacred to raw mate
rial," i. g., goods to be made up when
needed. OF course it is not gowns alone
that can be thus dissected. Do the same
with every cast-of garment, even un-
derwear. Then, when something new II
required for one of the children shirt,
petticoat, frock or jacket-never visit
the stores till you have drst looked
through the contents Of this chest.
which is very often 'seek no further;;''
and the convenience it is to have goods
in such shape that one can tell abso-
lutely how far they may be made avail
able, is, as most women will believe.
very great.
It is not only the children's wardrobes
that are reinforced from this source. A
new house gown Is often to be found by
making q combination Of some Of the
materials stored therein. Indeed. one
OF the much-draped skirts Of year OF
two ago will sometimes furnish full
gown Of the present simpler fashion,
K. b. Coulter, in Good Housekeeping.
A Pastoral
Mrs. Timothy-Just see how fond tho
old rooster is Of his family. How he
scratches up worms. and then calls all
the hens around him, and seems pleased
to see them eat. Oh, should think You
might take q lesson from tho brute
beasts, and learn 20 treat your wife
decently.
Mr.. Timothy-Ycs, Maria, but In his
case it isn't always the same old hen
jury.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
Warranted to work.

Miss Longout-Thcy tell me arsenic
is really good for the complexion. Now.
Mr.. Formula, you have studied chemis
try so long. Is It really good?
Formula-There' no doubt about e,
Miss Longout II you take enough Of
il your complexion will never trouble
you.-America.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
Her Last Words.

ISingo-So old Mrs. Gabley has gone
TO her eternal home.
Stingo-Ycs, the old lady's left rs.
Bingo-What were her last words?
Stingo-I don't think any arc re-
ported.
Bingo-There must have been. She
always would have the last word
America
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
A NIGHTS EXPERIENCE.
What q Young Girl Accomplished
by Her Presence or Mind.

EARSago, when
l was . y~ung
girl. l had an
e Pc rie nc e
which taught
me the inesti-
mable value of
pre- sence of
mind in emer-
gency.
We were liv-
ing that winter
in q lonely spot
. b o ut eight
miles n " a v
from q small
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

HE Smart Aleck
Il Q sublimated
product Of mod
ern civilization,
the precipitated
vapors Of fer
mented prog.
re q o. Il 9 10
ON mniprese ent
. n d irrepres-
sible, protean
in manifesto
tion, and sub
lime In self-~
sertion, Is sem
sitive as . soft
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

Ths origin q ~ nsme '.ADsEieay has
recently bean dissusssd by tn Geo
graphical Society q Berlin. So0ahead
that Il came ftdm . range Of mounteine
IN Central America, called By the M
lives Ameriqus. and that vespued wss
ooe eallsd Amerigo. = e b not name
h the saint ealsndar of Italy. They
sasested thsA - changed his nans ffuD
Albesigo 70 Amerigo sfterf shs latear
was coming into use . . naDe Scr To
Western World Signor Govi How
ever, has proved that Alberigo. y tle
Florentme language, = Aeatieal Nth
AnAerig6. and . letter Of veipaccL
daAed 1soo, 1oand recently IN ths a.
ehivas of TIE Aane a 0onsafu q Mon
[tua. shows wsthaAlgsnoetimess1boezSb61
himself Apsrigo Hogeoveg: shsSAo-
lives eau Tie mOuRAainalAneDie1aAast
|AmeFique. - that tha queseian NY -
eoQeidered settled 81 4ovag pt fh0DO'
lpQ6klsme IN, 7. Pest
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

On one farm IN Mexico I saw eaougA
Of the Injuries Of life produeed 70 make,
any man happy, remarked resident Of
El Paso, Tex, recently. Ths 1arm wss
not - large - some farms 60 in Aex-
icn. hat il was. to use . slang phrass. .
'stmner." I don't think the mind Of
man could imagine vegetable product
that could not Be produced On that farm-
At any Fate ] ssw growing there coffee,
sugar, rico, potatoes rye. wheat. oats.
corn. berries, cabbage. to0atoea. ap-
ples. bananas. eocoa, AgA cochineal a14
ateaen other productA On the upper
end df this farm Jon ceaA I'D oDlds
silver, sapphireA onyx and otAsr Iss'
.cious stones. some Of these aEtieles
were not produced in quantities large
enough 10 pay 70 market them, but they
werc al found there. and al at The
service of the owner of Tie lard Oh. I
suppose the 1Arm contained ten q
tweaty thsusand Aeses of land, 6us n
sxtsnded thsosgh all temperatures ~
Ill elevaticns.-Kansas City Thea
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16
HYPOTHECATIQN.

Mrs. Fondever ION the return from
the bridal trip)-What . lovely time
we've had. PercivaL There's not been
. single hitch.
Mr.. rondever (paying his last bill)-
No. my dear to himself). nothing bua
an unhitch.-Once q Week. s- Egst
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

Prospective Purchaser Is this duo
GOVT s :
Ownsr-Nos t6ia b . sssh saw.-
Puo)k -.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

ibid you ever slide down to6oGgaD
chuteY - -.. --a. j..
.sNo; bot ] fen pt Of . ballooa onee." !"
peck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

.'Oh! Mabel, tell mo the truth. HoW;
# you were in my place would yoa -
cept him.?
Certainly. Why, Il I had been b
your place ! would have accepted hin
myself. the other night, when he pro
posed 10 mo. Life.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-05-16

~ He Smart Aleck
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-08-08

THE fact that Governor Winans en-.
tirely ignored the Upper Peninsula in
making up the Worlds Fair commission
has caused no little criticism in this
part OF the state. With one or two ex-
ceptions his own party papers condemn
this slight, while the opposition is fairly
bowling itself hoarse with rage. While
1t may be conceded that the men mp.
pointed on the commission are capable
and honorable citizens of the state, and
that they will act with entire impartial
ity with reference to the interests of the
different sections, it cannot he fairly
denied that ut least one member of the
commission should have been appoint
cd from the Upper Peninsula. The
mining interests, which form so great
Q part Of the Industrial and material
wealth OF the state. has not an avowed
and active friend on the board; and it
can hardly be expected that they will
receive the consideration that their i'm
portance demands. The governor
blundered badly.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-08-08
First publication July Is
ORDER OF HEARING.
STATE or MIcnIGAN. IS.

STATE OF MICIIIGAN. tSs
COUNTY OF BAHAGA. ~"
Alta session OF the Probate Court OF said
cOunty.1held ut the Probate Office in the vii
lagc Of l. Aisc OH the thirteen day Of July
In the year one thousand eight hundred and
ninety one, Present Edwin l.. Mason Junge
OF Probate.
In the matter OF the estate Of John NJ. And
ersOn deceased.
On reading and filing the petition. duly
verified, OF Ole johnson, praying that ~,
administrator be appointed for the said
estate.
ThercupOn il is ordered, that Tuesday. the
eleventh day OF August next ut ten o'clock in
the forenoon. he assigned for the hearing OF
said petition. and that the different heirs at
law Of said deceased. and all other persons
interested in said estate, are required to APP
pear ut Il session of said court, then to he
holden in the Probate office, In the village OF
L'Anse and show cause, II any there he. why
the prayer of the petitioner should not be
granted And II Is further ordered. that said
petitioner give notice to the several persons
interested in said estate, Of the pcndency OF
said petition, and the hearing thereof. by
causing u copy OF this order to be published
IN THE L'ANsE SENTINEL. u newspaper
printed and circulated in said county. three
successive weeks previous to said day OF
hearing.
CA True Copy.) EDWIN l.. MASON.
[sEAI..l Judge of Probate.
WM. l.. VI JASON. Attorney.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-08-08
First publication July -
FOR PUBLICATION.

LAND OFFICE At MARQUETTE Mich.
July 18th 1891.
Notice Is hereby given that the following
named settlers have filed notice Of their inten-
ton to make final proof In support OF their
claim and that said proof will De made before
the Judge Of the Probate Court Of Barag,
Co.. at LAnsc, Mich, ON Sept. lst. 1891, viz:
Alfred Talbot ID. :. application No. 25I for
the swi{ sec Is tip lSn + ~ W. Also Octavils
Sucssc ID. =. application No. 21G for the nwli
see II tp isnr9,w.
They name the following witnesses to prove
their continuous residence upon and cultiva-
ton Of, said land, viz: Gcorg" II. Schoncwcg
Richard NJ. Thornton, O,tavus Su"sse.
Archer Willctt and Alfred Talbot all of
Murphy Siding. Mich.
NJ GEO. a. ROYCE Register.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-08-08
First publication July 1 1891.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.

LAND OFFICE At MARQUETTE. Mich.
June ~ 1871.
Notice Is hereby given that the following
named settlers have filed notice Of their inten-
ton to make final proof in support Of their
claim, and that said proof will be made be-
fore the Register and Receiver ut Marquette.
Mich. on August l2th. 1891. viz: Louis A.
Desyoigne, ID. 5. application No. 2s0s for the
VIZ Ofsch sec II and M Of mex see 81 tp AZ n
r3w. Also James Bonnev ID. S.application
NO.29iI. for the ~ Of swA see Is tp ~ II RS W.
They name the following witnesses to prove
their continuous residence upon and cultiva-
ton OF. said land. viz: James Bonney, Theo-
dOrc Foil Elmer DcsvOigne Charles Fourier
and LOUIS A. Desvoigne, all OF Duncan Up.
X GEO. A. ROYCE. Register.