The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-17
MIDNIGHT ACROBATICS,
The Disastrous Result of a
Drunken Flipfiop.

"How many of 'eni jumped on me with
their feet?' murmured Jasper K. DARK in
feeble accents, as tender hands hauled his
imp and CORY person out of the stretcher
and onto the operating table In the Receiv-
ing Hospital, little before - O'clock last
night.
Before this very natural inquiry could be
answered Mr.. Dark lapsed into a state of
coma from which he did not awake until his
multitudihous Jumps, wells, cuts, gouges,
gashes, bruises, decorations, contuSions and
abraslons had been properly fixed. Then he
sighed heavily and said he guessed he had
lost his grip. No ono disputed this asser-
ton.
A careful inventory of Mr.. Dark's wounds
showed that he had acquired more seIf-in-
hicted injuries of a superficial nature in a
shorter space of time than any other man
in the United States or Canada. When
brought to the hospital lie had nothing on
but a bed-quilt, and when relieved of this
covering his body Looked as If it had been
run over by one OF those four wheeled
street-sweeping machines that prow about
In the dead of night.
Seven OF his t0es-three on one foot and
four on the other-were badly jammed and
twisted. but no bones were broken. The
skin had been scraped off his right shin
from the knee down, and the big-toe nail
was absent from the same foot. He had
She noouG !uCH lOuR over Que eye, an
oVerripe bump above the other, and his nose
was swelled 10 twice its natural size.
Two front teeth had been rudely separated
from their sockets and patch OF cuticle the
size OF cream caramel was missing from
his chin. Both elbows and the back of his
neck were 6arked. and his back, breast and
side We're bleeding from score or more of
Tiny cuts and scraped places that looked like
freshly plucked cranberries
1t took Jasper K. Dark several minutes to
convince Dr. O'Brien that his hurts were
only skin deep. He succeeded, however,
ated frame he crawled into hack, in charge
OF friend, who accompanied him, and
went back home.
While Mr.: Dark was being stitched to-
gether the friend, who declined to give his
name, told how it ali happened.
IL seems that Dark, who is an amateur
athlete, was preparing for bed in his room
at the Sunset House on Pacific street. he
took his clothes off aud stepped to the
bureau to blow the lamp out. In doing SO
he dislodgsd the chimney, which fell to the
tuor at his feet and broke into hundred
pieces. There were no matches within reach.
ana as the young man was afraid to move
he concluded to throw back somersault TO
his bed, which stood about six feet away.
lie was just drunk enough to place implicit
commence IN MS agility. so pulling In long
breath, he turned himself loose in the air.
As MIR. Dark changed ends in his daring
flight toward the bel his feet struck an
unused gas chandelier and became en-
tangled III the brass ixings thereon For
moment he hung suspended, head down,
while the three glass globes fell off and
broke themselves on his heal and face.
Then he swung rapidly backward aud
smashed his back against the bureau. The
shock shattered the mirror and the frag-
ments all reached the floor ahead of Mr..
Dark, who landed a second later with his
bare hide among the ruins.
That was about all there was to the story
1t is miracle that he didn't break his neck.
and the experiment Will teach MI Dark the
folly OF turning back somersauts In the
night while drunk