Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-07-09
cABMEn.s HuMoR.

Some Examples of tho Witty Replies
Made to Curious Questioners.
In the matter OF free-and-easy CONVEX
sation the London Jehu has probably
no equal, says the London Tid-Bits.
For shrewdness and originality his OBJ
servations will compare favorably with
the utterances of any other class Of
men. It is, however, as street humor-
ist that cabby displays to most advan-
tage his natural gifts; and it is no exag-
geration to say that he never misses an
opportunity for turning his talent to
good account.
One member of the genus was being
chaffed once in regard to his badness.
II was always bald" replied cabby.
Zoos why? My mother 'ad so often to
pat me on the ed an say: well done,
Sam, my boy!' SO she wore all my air
Off" Again, a bus horse had fallen
down on the slippery asphalt in Oxford
street, and for time traffic was great
~ impeded- Just then cabby came
along on the off side, and took in the sit
uation at glance. Addressing himself
to the policeman in attendance, and
pointing with his whip to the PROSTATE
steed, he said: ''Why don't yer take
is name and address, STRIP
A wordy contest between cabby and
his fare generally ends in the discom-
future of the latter and the amusement
of the onlool1ers. On one occasion two
middle-aged ladies of sour and misery
aspect had engaged cab to take them
to the Royal academy. In discharging
the driver, in the presence of throng
of people, they handed him his fare in
sixpences and three-penny pieces. He
counted them carefully, and in reply to
a tartly uttered question by one Of the
ladies, answered.:
"Weu, no marin, it amt right. But
as We must ave been a long time saving
up for this yere hannual treat, won't
be hard on ye;" at which the two ladies
hurried off, amid the Unsurpassed
laughter of the sightseers.
On another occasion, 'shansom"
drew up at the entrance of we'll
known place Of entertainment in the
Strand. A gorgeously appareled masher
alighted, and, having assisted out lady
who accompanied him, handed the
driver the exact legal fare. Cabby
looked at it for few seconds, turned it
over in his hand, and then in loud but
benevolent tones exclaimed: "'Adn't
you an the Lady better get in again, sir,
an ave yer moneys worth? I could
ave done yer another twenty yards fo1
this" he added, and giving another look
at the coin, expressive Of the utmost
contempt, he slowly arranged bis knee
cloth and drove away.
In the way Of satirical humor, the
following will require adea1 of beating
A 'shansom" was being driven along q
leading thoroughfare at a pretty smart
pace, when another cab coming from
the opposite direction ran into it with
just sufficient force to lodge the collid
ing horses head on the back of the 9th
er horse.
The expected outburst of strong ad
jectival language did not take place
but instead the driver of the hanson
that had been run into sat still, and
with whitening politeness, observed tc
the other driver: ''When your 'oss ave
seen all e wants to see across my 'oss's
back, p'r'aps ell get down But, bless
| yer art, there's no hurry
It is always amusing to listen to the
sulphurous exchange of compliments
between cabby and a 'busman, who is
often sufficiently clever at repartee to
| cause cabby's attempts at ridicule to re-
| coil on his own head. Here is a case in
! point: One afternoon westward-going
bus picked up a lady and gentleman
| right out of the very hands of cabby in
Piccadilly.
In pulling up, the bus very nearly
came to grief against a heavy van. This
was the Jehu's chance. you're a nice
sort of party to ave charge of the 'eds
of families, you are!'' he shouted to the
| bus driver. 'Why didn't you bring
yer mother out to 'elp ye odd the losses
on their feet?''
Like a lightning fash came the retort:
Bring my mother out, indeed, while
there's such faces as yours knock
in about the streets! Not mel I don't
want to ave the old 'ooman frightened
to death. She's been too good a mother
70 ,,