The record-union., 1891-02-08
LACK OF COURTESY.
Why Men are Losing Their Defer
entail Manner to Women.
Mrs. Tom Brown Makes Some Investi-
cations and Decides that Women
Themselves Are Largely to Blame
for the Falling Off in Masculine
Politeness.

for the Falling Off in Masculine
Polfteness.
Say, little woman" said Tom last
night, as he lighted his afternoon cigar,
II you ever accept a seat in a street car
or on the Elevated without expressing
your thanks, Fll-well, I'll be disap-
pointed
why, every well-bred woman does
that / said.
No they DON'T" he continued, with
some warmth. "There are good many
well-bred women who leave their breed
ing at home when they go out, and they
are just the ones to complain over the
lack of politeness among men. 1t is true.
Women themselves are to blame for any
lack OF politeness they meet to-day in
public places"
Who has been stepping on your toes
to-day" said smilingly, for | knew that
he had grievance.
Three or four people," he went on, as
he pulled vieiously at his cigar. 'I've
been annoyed all day. 1 stepped into an
elevator down town to-day to go up to
the sixth floor. There were couple
more men and several women, including
couple of type-writing girls. Naturally
| took off my hat. The other two men
had more sense, and kept their heads
covered. Then one of the type-writing
girls, saucy, red haired piece, with ink
on her fingers, said in a whisper that al
most every one heard: Married man;
getting bald And the other one replied:
Too polite; must be q widoWer.'
Every one smiled except an old lady
about seventy and myself. / could have
caned the two dudes who had kept their
hats on. and now kept looking at me as
much as to say: ooh, you giddy old
masher, we're on to you.'
That ends elevator courtesy with me.
I'll run no more risks of pneumonia and
stiff neck by uncoyering my head in a
draughty elevator just for the sake OF
showing proper respect for q woman.
Besides that | have had two experiences
on the II to-day. Going down town l
car was woman with two children--a
boy of about four or five and a little girl
OF half that age. Each Of these children
had a seat, while q dozen persons stood
up, and right in front of the mother was
an elderly woman, evidently in poor
health, who was really unable to stand.
The woman with the children was richly,
were the children. But for one thing she
might have passed for woman of good
breeding. Instead of taking one of those
children on her knee and making place
for the older woman, she let one of the
kids stand up in the seat on one side OF
her and look out of the window, and one
on the other, without any concern at all.
1t was brutal exhibition. Finally a
workingman in rough clothes. up at the
other end of the car, called the old woman
up to his seat, walked down, lifted one of
the children out of the seat, and sitting
down, held the child on his knee. She
was highly indignant, and snatched the
youngster off his perch and set it over in
the seat where the other one was stand
ing. The other passengers enjoyed the
scene immensely, and their sympathy
was all with the man.
Now, that is not at all an uncommon
exhibition OF the total disregard of the
rights and feelings of others that the aver
age woman has and shows in every pub
lie place, and it is just that sort of thing
that men don't like. Coming up on the
u tonight shortly after 5 O'Clock, l
gave up my seat to woman with child
She was well-dressed, and was evidently
woman Of some refinement and culture,
The child was about three years old. Did
she thank me? Not by ever so much as
an inclination of her head, She took
that seat as if it was hers by right, and
when station further up the man who
sat next to her left the car, she planked
the child into the place off from her lap,
and left me clinging to the strap right in
front of her, and dozen or fifteen other
passengers IN the car, most of whom
were women, all standing. That is a
specimen of womens politeness, and
men naturally tire of it; yet, if man,
tired out with days work, fails to give
up his seat in Il car to 81 woman who has
been shopping, there is q howl from the
women's clubs Or the newspapers about
the growing impoliteness of New York
men toward women in public places?''
Here the head of the family settled HIM
self with his evening paper, but what he
had said set me.to thinking. / must adj
NIT that there was good deal of truth in
it. There is no doubt that there is a
marked falling off in the Difference shown
to women by gentlemen Of the old school.
That was to be expected with the crowd
ing of women into business life, and in
some respects It is no evil. Why should
man uncover his head in draughtv
elevator and run the risk of cold in the
head because there was woman present.
1t was as needless as the Understanding
and meaningless compliments which
these same old-school gentlemen thought
necessary to pay 10 every woman they
met above the station Of their washer
woman. Common sense should govern
politeness, as it does other things. and
this sort Of courtesy is not based on good
sense IN this busy, hustling day.
But the unpleasant fact remains that
women are supremacy selfish and indiffer-
ent to the rights of others in public places.
and especially where they are not known
Such instances as those that rufIIed Tom
on the elevated trains are so common as
to hardly excite comment, and while [
still cling to the idea that n man should
give up his seat to woman under most
circumstances, / have felt indignant
many times when / saw the way in which
courtesies were acknowledgement rather,
not acknowledged. Shopping, however,
is where one meets the greatest lack of
courtesy from women. Coming through
the heavy storm doors of one of the big
dry-goods houses on Sixth avenue a few
days ago, Ioverheard the following from
a well-dressed and decidedly cultured
looking woman, who said Indignantly TO
her companion:
I'm never hold a door open for another
woman again as long as l live.''
''Why?' asked her companion.
why! Because they don't appreciate.
You strain your wrist holding heavy
door from slamming back into a woman's
face, and ten to one if she don't sail ma
jestically through and give you stare, as
if you were hired TO attend to that door.
l will not do it again."
She was right, and 1 have seen the
same thing done dozens of times. / know
that lots ofwomen will say that am too
harsh. l would like to ask one of them
if she wanted to ask her way on the street
if she would ask man or woman. She
knows that she would let twenty women
pass in order to address man. If she
asked woman, what would be her re-
ply. 1t would be q cool stare so mortify-
ing that months would not take the sting
out of her mind. If the woman whom
she addressed was particularly well
bred" she would put up her eyeglasses
and survey the questioner. There are