davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
ROVER'S SERMON.

IL was Saturday night, near the close of tn
year,
The wind moaned without in manner mos
drear
Over five or six inches of snow.
By the stove sat the parson, with visage
severe;
The dog lay asleep in it's glow.
''oh dear" said the parson with deepening
frown
"This lifes but wearisome jog;
Six hundred year, and from rich Deacon
An occasional gift of log
must curtail expenses" and here he looked
down
At the slumberng form OF the dog.
'Rover's pretty well worn, from his ears to
his tail,
Though time to his teeth has been kind
Ihave tried hard to lose him, each time but
to fail -
From Jamaica his home he could find!
1t is out OF the question to put him on sale
For he's lazy and old and half blind"
He finished his sermon-'Contentmen the
theme,
One of which many grumblers are fond.
'Yes, I'll do it," he said, "'tis a desperate
scheme,
But he's grown my poor income beyond;
He's psnchant for eggs and cold mutton
and cream,
So tomorrow he goes in the pondl'
In the morning the parson, who rose with
the dawn,
Took his coffee and bit of cold pork,
While the dog asked for breakfast, with
looks most forlorn,
As plainly rs though he could talk;
But funeral meats are for those left to
mourn,
So his master suggested walk.
With his sermon and Bible, his hot and his
stick,
couple of bricks in his coat,
And shoe lace of leather, as strong and as
thick
As e'er bound a faithful dogs throat,
He led the procession with stride long and
quick,
To the pond with its primitive boat.
A film of young ice stretched from bank unto
bank.
Cold spot for poor Rover to sleep!
His dear masters" face seemed 30 kind and
SO frank
That he entered the boat with n leap;
Then the parson pulled out, with the aid OF
plank,
To place that was fearfully deep.
When the bricks were produced DER the coun-
try was sent
Such blood freezing sort of yell
That his pitiless heart seemed about to re-
lent,
But he managed his qualms to dispel
go overl' he said, and "go over" he went,
But the boat toppled over as well
Like fisherman's sinker the clergyman
sank
With terrible cry of alarm
That brought Deacon Brown in astonish
ment blank
With all haste from the neighboring farm
Who wondered to see a wet dog on the banl
Intoning the fortieth psalm.
Bnt the boat topsy turvy threw light on tn,
case.
Brown stood DER the dog in trce;
Still casping his neck in it's cruel embrace
Was that evil in tended device.
"You're in luckl" said the deacon; he Gu
through the lace,
And the noble dog sprang through the ic,
When the parson "came to" he was snug i
his bed
With the whole congregation around.
And he sobbed like u child when the old dea
con said
But for Rover he'd surely been drowned.
Then they sang sweet hymn, in which Re
ver's voice led
In rich diapason of sound.
When they asked for the sermon the parsor
beseeched
(And his view the majority held)
That the sermon by which all their hearts
had been reached
Take the place OF "Contentment"-wIth
held;
That "do unto others" poor Rover had
preached
With an cloquence rarely excelled.
-IThomas Frost in New York Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
SOOTHING TO THE GUEST.

Prominent Citizen crushing into Okla
homa hotel)-Tanner, your little son,
Theobald, who is over at his aunt's, got
his uncle's gun down just now an shot
Preacher Harps in the leg
Landlord Tanner (proudly, to recently
arrived tender-fooD - Only think,
stranger; the little feller is not quite five
years old!-[ Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
SHE SAVED HIM.

STRANGE TALE OF A FRENCH PHYSICIAN.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10

i" What do you think of married life?'
asked the henpecked man, addressing the
youthful bridegroom.
"Bliss is no name for it," said the
young husband, enthusiastically.
You are right" said the henpecked
man, gloomily, " bliss is no name for it.
Il New York Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
PATERNAL ILLUSTRATIONS.

Young Husband-Amy, what makes
that baby yell in that way?
Young Wife-His teeth, dear.
Young Husband-Oh, if that's all I'll
run for II dentist and have them pulled
out Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
AN ANCIENT wRANGLE ENDED.
DIDN'T MEAN IT.

"Well I'll acknowledge that we're
both black" said the Pot to the Kettle,
after consideration. "Does that suit
your"
eyes, I'm sooted, if you are. -
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10

And your aunt didn't leave you any.
thing after all ?"
"Not cent. She overheard me call
her an old cat short time before he,
death"
How did she leave her money ?"
She left it to found an institution for
the care of homeless cats. - Detroit
Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10
A MOMENTS INDIsCRETIoy.

Count Spaghetti-Will-a you not-a let
me have one lock-a your hair ?"
Miss Nosense-Certainly, Count. Cut
it yourself.
The Count OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
poo?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-10

Deadbroke-Cashleigh, you are my
best friend. l would bank on you every
time.
Cashleigh l don't want you to
bank on me any more until you return
that last ten dollars | lent you.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
q | I 1 !

Garments, and we will
share our profit with you;
that is, we won't ask their
value NOW, but base our
charge on what they cost
us at time we have pur-
chased (and we have been
buying since last October,
and own Seal goods all the
way from 20 per cent to 40
per cent below the market).
Don't think you can't af-
ford a Seal Garment; they
are still quite within rea-
son Cat OUR prices). They
are an economical invest
ment, and never again will
they touch lower prices. If
you purchase soon you can
find garments at $3.50, ,$175,
S185 and 5000 that are
fully SIS each under the
market. These are FACTS
and worth your attention.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
UNGRATEFUL JERRY.
How He Backed His Friends Eyes
for Saving His Life.

AOA foa'ihS A1l5 AHlCs
He was young man with black eye,
says Nj. Quad i'll the New York World,
and he was explaining the matter 10 an
officer at the bridge entrance.
You see,' he began, ''me and Jerry
went up to Glen island on Sunday. Me
and Jerry has been like brothers for
years, and never hard word has passed
between lis. jerry wanted to go in
bathing, but | says it was too cold, and
l wouldn't go. lie calls me liar and a
chump, and goes in by himself. What
does he do but get cramp and begin 10
drown. A gentleman he calls to him to
brace up, and laGy calls to him to
turn on his back, but he keeps right on
drowning"
Went down, did he?"
mo, sir, but it was all owing to me
that he didn't. When l sees there was
no help for him, and that my dear old
friend was about to be taken away by
death, | raises my voice and calls ont:
Jerry, old man, was ye therep
''And Jerry replies that he was, but
he wouldn't be over ten seconds longer
unless help came to save him. Then |
raises my voice again, and calls out:
Jerry, ye was thief and liar,
and his honor once gave We three years
at Two Sings! If ye'll come out o. that
and stand up to me like man, FL
make ye holler for quits in three min
utes or own up that Pm no man."
''Then he went down, dld he?' asked
the officer.
mo, sir. Then he got mad and his
strength came back, and he padded
right to shore. Everybody said it was
the salvation of him, and Pm sure 1t
was. | went down and gave him my
hand and helped him out, and L was
a-saying how thankful [ was, when he
squares OFT and knocks me out of time,
and has to be held by four men. Pm
leaving it to you, sir, if ever in yer born
days you've heard OF another such case
OF ingratitude?"
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
VALUABLE MATCHES.
A Way Of Gambling for Them by
Which Both Sides Lost.

A Way of Gambling for Them by
Which Both Sides Lost.
One of the stories of the rapid rise
and decline of the cow baron owes au-
thorship to Col. Jim Britton. says Fort
Worth CFeX.) correspondent of the st.
Louis Globe Democrat. In the days
when Texas had a railroad commission
ship. with only ornamental functions,
Col. Britton was appointed to fill it. He
discovered the lack of law to make
the Office in any way efficient
and sent in his resignation, say
ing that he did not care to
draw salary for doing nothing. There
is not another instance of this kind of
conscientiousness in the later years of
pie-eating in Texas. But while he was
commissioner Col. Britton went out to
Abilene. The time was the flush pc
ROD Of the cattlemen. Millionaries
were thick. At one of the Exchanges"
OF Abilene, Col. BrittOn was a witness
to a controversy between two OF the
uew mllionairies. These cattle barons
had just returned from their first trip to
New York, where they had gone to get
rid OF some of the cumbersome profits.
and to have royal time.
Jim, " said Jake, ''that's a pretty fine
watch you've got there"
Yes" replied jim; 81 got the ticker
of fellow in New York. 1 reckon it's
the finest i'll Abilene"
Well" continued Jake, drawing one
from his pocket, ''here's better one"
Reckon not" said Jim. "What'd
yours cOst?"
Paid 1925 for her." said Jake.
"What'd you give for yOurs?"
Cost me S340." answered Jim, with a
triumphant grin.
Jake was blue over the discovery that
he didn't own the costlest watch in Alb
ilene. He stood holding the now de-
spiSed chronometer III his hand and
looking at it. Bracing up after few
moments, he said: "There amt much
difference between 'em. But I'll bet |
can throw mine further than you can
yours"
Everybody laughed and looked at
jim. The latter was not to be bluffed.
Quick as flash he replied: "I'll Just
go you one on that"
The crowd went out into the rocky
street. A scratch was drawn. 1t was
agreed that the man who threw his
watch the fartheSt should have what
was left OF both watches. They threw,
and the fellow who won led the way
back into the exchange and set up the
drinks.
"a few months afterward," said Col.
Brltton, concluding the narrative. II
was back in Abilene. | saw Jake and
jim. Each had Waterbury. and when
ne pulled it out of his pocket he held it
in both hands for fear 1T would drop on
the floor and get hurt"
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
sEzEa sc EH Ez5zA
/ / |O)l|((
(j.A||I|.!|[ { ! |. PES / F |

The dry goods stores
seem to be full of trash in
these articles. The ladies
say "there is no fit to them,
the Innings are poor" etc.
Necessarily they buy low
grade goods to quote prices
on. We try to give Good
Valate at easy price in our
Capes, and see to it that tit
and shape are right. We
knOaO we have the Best
Stock, and we know aOhat
the furs are, and don't have
to call them fancy names to
sell them. Our prices start
at 81, and run SO, s14,
SIS, $18 and upward. Try
us. We have sold over 400
Capes in August.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
THE GIRL GRADUATE.

She is a college graduate. Packed in her
Are all the living languages and many that
are dead;
She thinks her thoughts in Latin and she
whistles in high Greek.
While with a Chinese washee- man she easily
can speak.
The whole array of sciences are at her finger
And problems mathematical just bubble from
her lips;
Whene'er She talks her hearers try their
hardest to look wise;
But to conceal their ignorance, they venture
no replies.
Not only is her learning far ahead of any
dream,
But she in college tennis was the captain of
team;
And in the college races, on the lake and on
Was always crowned the victor, TO the music
OF the band.
A dainty pair of glasses on her dainty little
nose
Adds 10 her look of culture and her dainty
like repose;
But when discussing subjects with Boston
maden's might,
Her eyes flash through her glasses like To-
comotive light.
Oh, she is just daisy Though the draw
back of her sex
Keeps her from being president her mind it
doesn't vex:
For there are higher stations she is able to
attain
BY having so much knowledge in her active
little brain.
And now the wonder cometh; this sweet ool-
lege girl who might
Reform the very universe which me, nave
ruined quite,
Stays at home to help her mother in the
Kitchen where she makes
The most delicious puddings, pies and
home-ma bread and cakes
A man who thinks woman's higher educa-
ton tends
To make her hate domestic work, on which
his bliss depends,
Should taste this womans cooking, for the
more that women know
The more of sweet hoAe happiness they're
able to bestow.
III r. Dodoe
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
THE WICKET IN THE LANE

One evening just at milking time
strayed across the down,
And heard the CHEEKY churh bells chime
Below me in the town.
took the winding path spied
That led me TO the plain,
And Barbara found beside
The wicket In the lane.
Her cheeks were Ike the apple bloom
Upon the hills in Mayi
Her eyes that showed no trace Of gloom
Were open as the day.
In vain you'd search the country wide
From oregon to Maine,
For fairer lass than she beside
The wicket In tie lane.
How came she theref I do not kpoY.
How came theref By chApcet
tried to pass. She thought to go
What held psi But gfahcet
Twas thus she hapDeq TO be q bride,
And TO be the swetp--
One little glance exchanged beSide
The wicket IN .he lane.
--Clinlon ScoIlard in Smiths Masthlys
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
The Ballet Girls headquarters.

The most curious of all the agencies
is certainly the ballet girls agency,
Periers, No. 20 Boulevard st. Denis.
There come all the dancers of the con-
tinent, and thence they are shipped off
all over the world. The ballet is consid-
cred to be in its decadence, but that is
a great mistake. There have never been
SO many dancers as there are to-day.
Perier has 5000 addresses on his list.
The agency is an odd sight when the en-
gagementS are being made. The
rooms themselves are on the ground
floor, three wee closets into which
scarcely score of persons could be
crammed; but the courtyard is large,
and into that there crowd some sixty or
eighty ballet girls, jolly, noisy creatures,
full of fun and mischief, teasing any
unhappy man who may fall into their
mischevious clutches. They tickle him,
they pull his hat over his eyes and gen
orally make his life burden to him.
No one can control the turbulent band
bnt Perier himself, who, with an
Olymplan frown and stern and reson-
ant cry of "Silencer' contrives occa-
sionally to bring the impish lot into
comparative order
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
IN MOI Z

Of not finding what you
want nor getting it when
you want exists in your de
laying settling on what you
want in Furs and selecting
or ordering early. We are
already refusing all repair
work, and a little later you
will have to wait six weeks
or more before you can get
a Special Order done. It's
likely to come cold early
this season, and then you
will come in and want
something right away, and
can't get it-see ?
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13

while loving the dim religious
light, the aroma of incense,
the magniicence OF cope, aud the
simple dignity of surplice and stole,
women Will feel that they must forego
marriage i'll such an environment and
choose between unadorned meeting
houses and magistrates office if they
would prove true to the best that is in
them.
They will be forced to turn their backs
upon the too orthodox clergy and seek
civil contract in which the promise to
love, honor and cherish each other cov-
ers the whole ground of mutual duty.
There could not then be that inevitable
sting which must follow after parrot
like repetition of the obsolete words in
what is most truly and satirically laid
down as The Form of the Solemniza-
tion of Matrjmony."
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
MY LOVE OF LONG AGO.

There are faces just as perfect
There are eyes as true and sweet,
There are hearts as strong and tender
AS the heart that ceased to beat;
There are voices just as thrilling.
There are souls as white, | know.
As hers were when she went from me-
My love of long ago.
New lips are ever telling,
The tale thai ne er grows old;
Life's grays are always changing
For some one into gold;
But amid the shine and shadow,
Amid the gloom and glow,
She walks with me, she talks with me-
My love of long ago.
When think of all the changes
That the changing years have brought,
/ am glad the world that holds her
Is the world that changes not
And the same as when she left me,
She waits for me, know
My love on earth, my love in heaven
Ny love Of long ago.
M. Il. Browne.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
FASHIONS FRILLS.
Several Items Of the Best Things
to Know

In calling on married lady wife
should take one of her own cards and
two of her husbands cards; her own
and one of her husbands in calling on
widow; her own only in calling on
single lady. Unmarried women still re-
tain the custom of leaving a card for
each Of the ladies in the house. A Lon
don custom is that of never sending up
a card before entering a room, unless
lady Is calling to inquire concerning the
character OF servant.
A recent bride who wore, by the way,
the orange wreath that had adorned her
mother and grandmother before her.
carried i'll the center of her bouquet of
roses a bunch of four-leafed clover that
had bean gathered by her maid of honor
the day before the wedding. That
ought to have insured her happiness, but
curious little thing happened at the
reception that hlled the bridemaids
with delight. A tiny spider creDt out
of the mass of palms before which the
happy couple stood and actually Wove
tiny rope from one to other. The lit
tie harbinger of good now resides in
bottle in the new home.
a pretty German custom that is be-
ginning to be observed here is to plant
spray or two of the bridal wreath.
when it is made of natural flowers. The
wife of well known German citizen.
full OF this tender sentiment, brought
with her to this country fourshing
little plant grown from her own myrtle
wreath. A little while ago her daugh-
ter was married, and her wreath was
composed OF the starry blossom from
her mothers carefully tended shrub.
Here is bit of advice about coiffures
from the illustrated American: Of
course pretty woman is pretty, no
matter what liberties she takes with
her appearance, but it is, extremely
doubtful whether a majority of the sex
will be improved by the present very
vigorous revival of the coiffure grecque.
The fact is few can be trusted
to exercise moderation in adapting
that charming and classic fashion. a
woman with a moderate amount of
softly curling hair, can do herself no
greater credit than TO draw the wavy
locks back, twist tightly a trifle below
the crown of the head, encircIe it with
an Ascanio comb, permitting a few
rings to lie on the brow. If possible
avoid the use of heavy, false switches,
and where the hair is scant make good
the deficiency with few flat curls and
soft puffs.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
Thought He Had:a Sea Serpent.

Hartford Times.
Capt. John Brooks. of Block Island,
became the unwilling possessor, one
day last week while hauling in his pots,
of six-foot sea serpent, subsequently
pronounced a monster sea eel. Capt.
Brooks was in doubt for few moments
as to the ownership of the niDe-foot
skiff he was in at the time, and his yes
sci being at least a mile distant, he was
not particularly ''stuck" on his CON-
panion. He succeeded at last, however,
in killing the 'animar' or fish,"
whichever 1t was, after it had bitten
through his rubber boot and sock, graz
ing his leg.
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
"KIDD'S GERM ERADICAT0R'
Positively Cure~ All Df~aasos

Because itkiIls allGerms Bacteria, Parasites. MI
crobes and Animalculae in thesystem. The air, wa
ter, vegetables fruit are .ul these worms causing
Catarrh, Consumption, Diabetes and BrightsJ
Disease, Cancers, Tumor never known 10 fafl TO
cure Catarrh and Syphiiisl, and all so-called in
durable diseases; retaied In and IS sizes: sent
on receipt Qf price This the only genuine arti-
Gle. AM Pill and Med. Co.. Props, Spencer, 10.
We issue guarantees TO cure. Faber & Co., Cor 7th
and Wabasha sts: Lyons drug store, 227 E. 7th st
81. Paul, and In Minneapolis by Weller slrug stora
Orner SKI b and NicnlIaI azAaauaa
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
PROPOSALS..
Steam Heating and Power
Plant.
CITY CLERKS 5 OFFICE,

tIIl Z LENk 5 UFFiCE, I
ST PAUL, Mimi, Sept. 3, 1891.
Sealed proposals will be received at this
Office until Tuesday. the 18th day of septem-
Ing the necessary labor and materials and
constructing the heating and power plant for
the city and county hospital buildings accord
ing TO plans and specifications on file in the
Office of G. II. Johnston, Architect, Room
7l2. Manhattan Building, City.
bond in the sum OF 20 per cent Of the ag-
gregate amount of each proposal must ac-
company the same.
The Hospital Commission reserves the
right TO reject any and all proposals.
THoS. A. PRENDERGAST, Secretary.
sept5-l5
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
B u Y
No IN

Why not? You don't
have to give up your money
any earlier. You can pick
from a full stock and get
your choice. You can gain
in every way. Take our
word for it and attend to
this NOW. We have an
elegant line assorted stock
of lengths and styles in
St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
Health Is Wealth!

DIR. E. C. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN Treat.
MENT, a guaranteed specific for Hysteric Dir
Ziness, Commissions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the
use of alcohol or tobacco Wakefulness Men
tai Depression, Softening of the Brain re-
sulting in insanity and leading to misery de-
cay and death, Premature Ol6 Age Barren
ness. Loss Of Power in either sex, Involun-
tary Losses and SpeImatorrhea, caused by
over exertion OF the brain. self-abuse or over
Indulgence. Each box contains one month S
treatment. 81 box. or six boxes for So,
sent by mail prepaid. We guarantee six
boxes 10 cure any case. With each order for
six boxes, accompanied with So, we send the
the money if it does not effect a cure Qua
antees issued only by w. X. Collier, sncees S
or to Hippler & Collier, druggists, 9Th and
Sbley SIS, 50. Paul, Mimi.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1891-01-15
Wteeling, Janudryl4,


The boy Williamson, who Is suffering
from smallpox, Is doing nicely. No
change will be made in the care Of the
case other than q redoubled vigilance
upon the part Of the Health Officer.
Agreeably TO the instructions Of the City
Council more comfortable quarters will
be erected as soon as possible. II Is ex.
pected that such quarters will be pro-
yided In two or three dsyq. Ia the
meantime all persons not protected
should be yacctnated. ! have secured
q limited supply Of virus, and will vacci-
nate free Of charge all persons who may
present themselves at my office in tho
CITY Building after II q. m. to-day, and
viii remain there for that purpose all
day, or until such time 90 my supply Of
matter shall be exhausted, Knowing
That / would be unable 10 accommodate
All, / have secured the services Of DR..
W, b. Clinton to vaccinaie the children
Of colored citizens, aud who will occupy
one Of the committee rooms in TIE
building on the second floor. Provision
will be made for registration OF all per.
sons 90 yacciuated.
GEo. l. GARRISON, N. D.,
Health Officer.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1891-01-15

]. B. Loughran, ex-MayoH Of North
Des Moines, and the Locust street manu-
iacturer Of steam engines and boilers,
said: ~ had severe attack OF 10 grippe.
I used Chamherlain's Cough Remedy,
and applied Chamberlain's Pain Balm to
my breast. These remedies were Just
the thing in my case. My child had
croups some years ago, and we used Cham.
berlain's Cough Remedy with perfect
success; since then we have never been
without these medicines in our house.
had q cousin who was q printer and
was employed In this city, where they
were printing circulars for Chamberlain.
He had a deep.seated cold and q terrible
cough, and while setting up the copy he
made up his mind to buy O bottle. Il
cured his cough, and that was the first
time ever knew anything Of Chamber
lain's remedies. / have been strongly
In their favor ever since. My own OK.
perience and that Of my family con-
vinces me that these remedies are the
best In the world. That may be strong
Language, but that Is what / think.
For sale by W. W. Irwin, O. r. Goethe,
]. Klari, o. Schnepi, N. W. Heinrich,
John Coleman, w. Z. Williams, O.
Menkemiller and w. O. ArmbTecht.
nav