St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-03-01
GLOBE TOWER SHOTS.

He-See here, Miranda I've been sewing
on buttons since we were married. and I'm
getting rather tired Of.
g. She-The man who can sew and won't sew
should be made TO sew.
1t is when the steam radiator begins its
animated colloquy III the early morning
hours that a man thinks he might as we'll
ehage cuckoo clock in the house.
ffs -"
- He jests at municipal reform who does not
intend to become a candidate for alderman.
Il Julep is dead This particular Julep re-
ferfed 10 has no connection with certain
botanical specimen called mint. Quite other
wise. Julep was pug dog residing with a
family on st. Anthony hill, not sixteen
blocks from the corner of Dayton avenue aud
Mackubin street In the same family with
Julep resided a little five year-old girl, with
: long, golden hair, and eyes as blue as the
liquid depths of deep sea soundings. Julep
was passionately fond of sponge cake. Like
{ wise the little girl, and it often fell out that
she shared with pleasure her portion of that
harmless edible with Julep. But one day a
humorous conceit took possession of the
little girls mind. 1t was humorous, but, oh,
so wicked A hard dry sponge. recently in
from the druggists lay on the window sill.
1t cleaned yellow III the sunlight, and when
the little girl saw it the wicked idea pos
sessed her that it strangely resembled the
cake of which both she and Julep were
so fond. And the wicked thought grew
and grew in Der little mind, and finally she
shipped of corner of the sponge, tossed it
high in the air and was rewarded by seeing
Juia I Ill oil
low it. She clapped her hands in high glee
at the joke on Julep. Happy little girl! This
was at 2:15 Wednesday afternoon. At 2:22
Julep drank heartily from can of water in
the kitchen. At 2:35, standard time. Julep
exploded with percussion that ratified the
windows, cracked Delft ware plate, and
jostled an Egyptian tear jug from the top of
an ormulo escritoire. Moral: The practical
joke should be sedulously avoided even in its
mildest form.
Concerning Mrs William Waldorf Aston,
the Philadelphia Times says: LAS a dresser
she has few equals" In the fguratiye Ian
guage of Lasoo Larry. of Arizona, she knew
her color and dressed TO it,
First Rival Editor-Washingto couldn't
tell a lie.
Second Rival Editor can tell one as far
as can see it, and I've seen your affidavit of
circulation.
The widow of Barrundia proposes to sue
the United States for 81, 100000 damages for
the loss of her husband. If all the harsh
things said of Commander Reiter and Consul
Mizener by the present administration are
true, ii would seem that Mrs. Barrundia has
case.
Senator-elect Kyle, Of South DAKOTA is just
as good Presbyterian as is Ben Harrison.
and great deal sounder on the tariff.
Charles Dudley Warner has taken villa at
Florence, Italy, for the season. How chances
1t that better and more popular writer's than
Charles Dudley Warner find it impossible to
take villas at Florence or in any other city:
Senator Kyle appears TO have entered the
politica! race as Republican. He came IN
der the wire, however, an "Indecrat" Not
much flavor of Repubicanism about that
WORD, egad.
Editor-in- Chief-Ho, minion Summon the
Ivcophants of my force.
Enter corps of irresponsible sub-editors.
Observation-Disclosures did the great Napo-
leon say prior to the battle of the Pyramids,
il Egypt?
First Irresponsible r-"Remember
that to-day forty centuries are looking down
upon your efforts
aEditor-in-C hief-Correct What are now
looking down upon our efforts?
SECOND irresponsible Editor-Forty long
and dusty years.
Edltor-in-C hief-Correct What Is the most
interesting matter that can be injected into
newspaper:
Third irresponsible Editor-Columns OF
statistics, dashed with apothegms from the
Congressional Record and spiced with the
pepper of supplemental rhetoric.
Editor-in Chief-Correet. Now, what did
the forty centuries look down upon in Egypt
besides the soldiers?
Fourth irresponsible Editor-Ruins
EGtor-in Chief-ExactIy. But what are the
forty long and dusty years of Minnesota's
successive seasons looking down upon in the
case of my heavyweight journal:
ClOruS OF IrrespOuSihlpS- RuiuS