Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1891-03-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

| ne means OF raising a debt. -B0stOB
@asette.
The mosquito is desperately wicked
| tature. 1t never rests till it gets "be-
| Mad the bars. "-Pack.
Why is Pennsylvania like good SOL
| lier2 Because it is well drilled, Of course.
| .--BostOn Commercial Bulletin.
Never call man another unless you
know what you are talking about, and
% careful then.--Ne,o York World.
If you'd have me
And I'd have you
Why, you'd be won
And I'd be- too.
-Nelo York Herald.
Lady Ito applicant for place)-"Are
you plain cooke" Applicant-"Well,
I s'pose cud be purifier. -Binghamton
Leader.
A mountain side makes the best pas
ture for young cows, because climbing
tends to strengthed the calves. Boston
Journal.
When fly alights on your hand you
can't tell whether he is sitting or stand
ing. But it is different thing with "a
bee.--Statesmon.
He Teading)-"Then their lips met,
and" She Gnterrupting)-''Was it
pro.racted meeting, I wonder"--Bur-
liagtons Fsee Press.
Magistrate-"Were you prisint whin
the assault was committed on yea" Wit
ness--"May it please the Coort, had
iist got there. "-Harpey's Basar.
Edwin-"And you'll always be true
to me, Angelina2" Angelina why do
you doubt me, Edwins" Edwin-"Oh,
you're too good to be true. life.
Cobwigger-"Why does woman have
her pocket where it's so hard to get at
its" Merritt-sSo that she can stick
her friend for the Car fare. "-Epoch.
Billy-stSo you have returned from
your bridal tour. What did you see on
your trip that pleased you mosts"
John-"My wife. "--1oronto Empire.
Although she's fast, and smokes all day,
Zen look on her with proud emotion;
Admired by all she makes her way
The steamer called ''the Queen of Ocean,"
Puck.
When man is caught he owns up and
says the woman did it. When a woman
is caught sho swears it is not so, and
cries to corroborate her oath.-Nationac
Weekly.
"What are your potatoes, Mr.. Scalesa"
'Thirty cents peck" "They are
only thirty at Mr.. Bushels" "Why
don't you buy some theres" "He hasn't
any."-Ne.o York Sun.
cleft your purse at home, ehl Well,
] can't lend you ten dollars, but can put
gou in the way of getting it at once.
Here's nickel. Take car home anG
get your purse. - Chatter.
Simmons-sThat is a rather peculiar
stone you are wearing, Timmons Must
be something rare, is it not9" TImmins
VERY rare stone, indeed, my boy.
That is an 1890 peach stone. "--Iadian-
apolis journal.
Stage Manager-ssMr. Heavy, you will
take the part of, Alonzo." Mr.. Heavy.
II have never seen this play. Do you
think I can please the audience in that
parts" Stage ager-''Immensely
You die in the first act. "-Neo York
Weekly.
'What queer name you have, Miss
Booglespeegle!" he said, after he had
asked her once or twice to pronounce it
for him. ssWelI," she responded, with
just the sweetest smile, 'syou know what
you can do with that name, Mr.. Smith"
= Washington Star.
elbow human that instrument is II" re-
marked Gale at the amateur musicale.
'.Do you notice how it throbs and sighs2
Its strain" --s'You're right; it does"
assented Jack Pott, as he watched a
muscular young woman pound the keys
out of shape. s'It's wonder to me IL
doesn't burst blood-vessel "--Dyy
Goods Chronicle.
Old Lady (at Tampa Bay) envy
daughters want to go sailing. Can you
swima" Yacht Skipper-s'No num-
Old Lady" My goodness What
could you do if anything should happena"
Yacht Skipper--"P Please, mum, when
the man wot does the sailin' can't swim
Se's mighty kcerful not to let anything
<ppen. - Good Ners.
A dog was barking at the moon when
q sage inquired why he did SO, adding
that he could not possibly affect the great
luminary one way or the other, and that
it seemed useless waste Of energy. ssOh,
it isn't that it makes any difference with
the moon" replied the canine; ssbut
want the other dogs in this neighborhood
m kpotv that am mt 6aa1 Mo,aI