The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-18
A WILD, BARBARlC YAWP.
Cresswell Mclaughlin and His
Enervating Diatribe.

1t is four hundred to one that 10 person
who heard Mr.. Cresswell Mclaughlin
lecture OH Jersey City's Four Hundred"
last night had the slightest idea what he
talked about. When the deluge had end
ed, weary and disgusted audience fled
our OF Foye Hall in manner to convey
faint idea that such was a mourner going
to his own funeral. The aggregation
seemed mass drifting by inertia out of
an opium joint, daZed. weary, lies pouuent;
wondering what it had all been about,
and whether the Four Hundled were
seutient beings or myths from the way
back of an ard past evolved from brain
that wouldn't pan out an ounce OF gray
matter to the ton. 1t was cold night.
too, which made the offense of calling
out an audience to listen to SO dreary
TRADE an additional outrage.
Mr. Mclaughlin was hacking with
dull pick at all ironical vein when he in
timated that one of the objects of his lee
ture was to assist in establishing an aris-
tocracy i'll this city. Ward McAl lister
was styled "the great American cook"
a "ballet dancer" and orher names
which illustrated Mr.. McLaughIin's idea
of wit. The lecturer also juggled with
the McLaughlins and O'Nellls, In doing
which he cribbed a whole page from
Washington Irving's History of he
Knickerl orkers''-about the only intelli-
gible think in the whole lecture He got
laugh by an allusion to the Pangborns
and Bensous, which the audience thought
it understood, and laughed before it
caught its breath.
Then Mr.. Mclaughlin fired into the
clubs of Jersey City. The idea of thr
Palma Club members at a sting in theie
gymnasium enjoying the sight of q. set-to
with gloves between two expert pugilistS
had given Mr.. Mclaughlin o night
mare.
Possibly he did not come out of it last
night. That might account for his So
called lecture. Nothing else could.
The Cosmos Club also came in for
share OF abuse. Atanother club Mr.. Nc
Laughlin was shocked by the horrible
English he was compelled to lis en- to-.
Perhaps it was the Union League Club.
which the gentleman is said to carry in
his vest pocket. What hurt him worst,
though, was the fact that these mutilators
OF the Queens jargon actually
to to- "chip in" three dollars-thai's
good English, doncherknow - but
Mr.. Mclaughlin didu't chip. He isn't
the sort of Belgian block that that style
of chips fly from. The "Oofty Goofty"
kind, twenty-five cents for dance, hat
check and hot drink thrown in, with
shine when going home in the morning,
is more in his way.
But the audience gathered from Mr..
McLaughlin's lingual meanderings that
he believes in an aristocracy of. the En-
glish sort-would like to have one of his
own. in fact. Politics was his favorite
theme, however, AMI he is evidently an
expert in that domain. His idea is that
the offices should be left to run them
selves. Hethought the Street ana Water
Commissioners should have have abolish
ed themselves long ago.
He would abolish the Court House and
the Jail. He witnessed there a play. en-
titled 1.-The Ballot Box Suffers Reward"
at the Court House. A lay Judge was
doubtless thus called because of his in
clinarion to sleep. He was startled by
the exclamation of one of them that he
intended to be a live judge all the days of
his life
Mr.. Mclaughlin was unfortunate in
only having one hundred people to inflict
himself upon. The other three hundred
escaped