Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-06-18
/. IMAGINARY AILMENTS.

People Who Are . Source Of Revence %
the Doctors.
We all have more or less apprehension
of evil In different people it takes
different forms. Some people fear
poverty, others sickness, others death,
others burglars, and again others stand
in constant terror of something going
to happen" they know not what.
None of these people are SO amusing
to US as the old lady who keeps posted
regarding the statistics of death and
disease, and who employs her time in
having all the new diseases as they
come out If anybody dies of anything
of hard name, Mrs. Bragg has it forth
with: she is taken right of, without a
moments warning. Every ache and
pain is ominous-she has all the symp-
toms, and she sends for the doctor IN
post haste.
Such patient is invaluable to any
physician. supposing she has money;
and we advise all young men who are
settling anywhere as medical practition-
ers, to try and secure such a patient in
the outset. They are to be found in
almost every community, and one or
two of them will do more toward making
a young physician a fortune than dozen
robust men with feyers, or any other
short-Gved disease.
The fever patients are like some
occasional presents from some friend,
but the old lady who has all the new
diseases. is like steady annuity-some-
thing substantial and to be depended
upon. She may be counted on until
old age takes her off; and even then if
old age tackles her it will generally get
the worst of it. True, she might be
carried home by an accident, but there
is nothing positive about that, and the
chances are against it
We visited Mrs. Bragg last week, and
found her as usual. ''porely." She had
mustard on her neck, and iodine on her
back: and antimony on her side. and she
was smoking catnip. and had a saucer
of pills and powders on the stand by her
couch. We inquired what was the mat
ter, and learned that it was the new
spinal disease with the hard name. She
had all the symptoms, and DIR. Bolus
told her the case was very dangerous!
Liable to go off at any minute! Last
June she had diphtheria: in August she
had pneum onia; early in Septem Der she
had two epileptic fits; before cold wealth
er she went through with two fevers,
a dog bit her, and hydrophobia set in,
but the doctor pulled her through; in
January she had the grip in its worst
form, and now she expected she had got
her worst attack, and would never get
over it. We looked at her, and felt
what a pity it was that she could not be
spared fifty years or $3.50 that she
might have the pleasure of going through
with the various new diseases which
will, in all probability be discovered
during the next half century. 1t would
afford her SO much honest pleasure, and
be such. a boon to the doctors.
Real illness nobody can ward off, b ut
how many of our ills are imaginary!
Then many of us are Mrs. Braggs on
a small scale. How many of us are
troubled and nervous over the hea 18th
reports, and how much unnecessary
trouble we borrow because some enter
prising medical man has put a novel
name to rheumatism, or rechristened
influenza with a new appellatiOn which
has become popular.
Keep a clean body, mind, and con-
science, and we shall not need so much
medicine. Hope for the best; look for
the best and if the worst comes God
will help us to bear it. if we ask Him,
and ask it with the faith which believes
that even aff1 lotions are for good.
Thorn, in n. Y. Weekly.