The National tribune., 1891-03-26
LIME-KILN CLUB.
Reports of the Committees on Divorce and
Finance.


ave hev met here dis eavenin'," said Brother
Gardner when the meeting had been opened in
due form, to Rar DO reports Of sartin commit
tees an discuss dc same. / may say right here
an now dat any pusson who frizzles piece of
leather on dat stove or so fur fOrgits hi5self as
to raise an alley wiHder to see if his dawg am
waitin' down dar', is gwiue 20 be fined not less
than TO thousand dollars. Oar am sartin
things dis club believes 10 DO wrong, an sartin
other things it believes to be right an dc pco-
pie Of de State OF Michigan hev DER eyes on
rs an expect Us 20 DO our dOoty. We will now
! listen to de report Of committees"
Judge Circumstance Lancaster, Chairman Of
the committee appointed to inquire into the
cause and effect OF divorces, and suggest such
changes as deemed expedient, reported As fol-
lows:
Your committee hev traced divorces back
to period ober 5000 years ago. De chief
cause seems to be dat husband an wife can't
agree. Some folks think dis fact is powerful
queer, but we dOan. III juries can't agree
If nations can't agree-if churches, societies
ladies an clubs bust up bekase dey can't agree
If we differ in politics, religion, customs an
habits, why should 10 DO expected dat husband
an wife must agree? II / hev q business
partner wild whom / can't get alOng. &c courts
gin me q way out, hut some folks make great
huliabalOO bckase dc courts ar asked 10 sCpG-
raio a couple who make life miserable for each
Oider. We would recommend as follows:
Il. No cOurtship Of less n three years.
"2 No lynn ON either side.
"3. Ebery new-marricd couple has got TO
move right or by deirsclves to Dakota.'G
Among the members of the club discussing
the motion to adopt the above was Judge
Comedown Carter, who said:
- ar satisfied dat divorce orter be made
easy aTter sartin cOudishuus are fulfilled such
condishuns rs dat committee has ji,t reported,
/ but whcncber wife gifts divorce it Ortcr DO
dc law dat sho leaves at least So in cash in do
/ house fur dc husband to git along wild until he
kin strike a new job"
After some further discussion the report was
adopted
/ Prof SingIetree White Chairman Of the
| Committee on Finance, reported as follows:
Your committee has traced DC use Of money
/ back TO 1000 vars Il. G., an has not been able
/ 10 find dat dc poo man ober had any mo- dan
/ he has got today. IL ar our opinyun DAT sun
/ thin OTtcr be dun. Dis cwiue around dead
/ broke isn't only hurtlul to do feeIin's, but
/ very announcement We would darfOTe rec
ommend as fOllers:
Il. Expand DC currency until Dc basket
[ slops oLcr
"2 Coin huff silver so dat cherry man will
/ hev 70 hcy an extra hind pocket to carry his
share.
-. Make days work six hours long an
\ vac pay 90 bAs LDtllA Albf LbJ many VI EtA III
one week.
II. Bring DO price OF whitewashin' up at
least 200 per cent, but kuocl; dc price OF meat
an Eaters down to de VERY lowest notch.
-. Fix it 50 dat cherry Guild puss0n in dis
Ecntry Who wants 20 wear diamonds an ride
in his kerridgo kin do so, bat if ridin around
makes his back ache, den fix it 50 he kin open
a bank an drink all dc champagne he wants
to-
Waydown Beboc, Shiudig Watkins, Whale
bone HOwker, Gigeadam Jones and others
spoke very strongly on the question oS adopt
ing the report, but Brother Gardner arose aud
said:
" Dat report will be sot down an laid on de
table indefinitely. It's too soon. 10 asks fur
too much. If we could hey al. dose things
| asked fur in dat report we'd consider ourselves
, so clus 10 heaven dat nobody would turn out
to Thursday eveniu' prayer-meetins. / shall
instruct dc Seckrctary to say dat il is DC sense
Of dis club dat de circulation orter DO increased
about tOteen miilyon dollars var until cherry
Guild head Of family is able to have a rubber
doah mat on do top step an a cuckoo clock in
dc parlOr. Do meetin' will be now all broke
up, TO assemble agiu at the call Of de Seekre-
tary."