davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15

Talking about making people laugh
Lew Dockstader says:
remember once sat up two nights
to prepare a batch of new jokes and
then sprung them on my audience. The
house was packed with people. Not a
smile, not ripple Finally began to
weaken. The cold chills were playing
peek-a~boo up and down my spinal col
unn. I was in refrigerator. At last
in desperation walked to the middle of
the stage and said
Ladies and gentlemen, I merely tell
these things; don't explain them"
The remark caused a kind of a con-
sumptive grin. Since that time have
told some of those jokes in every large
city in the United States, and they have
proved to be the best things I have ever
had. The secret of how to raise laugh
is always in the kindergarten stage. No
matter how hard man tries he never
seems to get beyond the A Be of it
Ernest Jarrold in New York Journal.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
New Road.
GEORGIA-COBB COUNTY {:

w. c. Green. G. w. Green, W. R..
Dobbs, ct al, have made application for a
second class public road, to commence at
Shiloh Methodist church in Big Shanty
District, running little east of south.
until 1t in@rsects with the Cassville road,
at or near James A. WINS place, about
81 miles from Marietta, said contemplated
road to run through the lands of Taylor
Chalker, George Roberts, Earnest Rob>
erts, Mrs Elizabeth Chandler. Mrs. Eliz-
abeth Davis, w. C. Green; II. s. Ander>
son and Jas. A. Winn-said road will be
about four miles long. The same has
been reviewed by the commissioners and
a report thereof made on oath by them.
All persons are notified that application
for said new road will be heard on Bird day
OF February next, by which time you
must put in your claim for damages, or
be ever after estopped. This January Let,
1891. J. n. STONE, Ordinary
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Best Fodder for Cavalry Horses.

A series OF experiments, made with a
view of discovering the best fodder for
French cavalry horses, has established
the fact that straw and oats are, in rea-
son, preferable to hay. 1t appeared that
when the ration Of hay was reduced, and
that Of the straw and oats proportion
ately increased, the staying power of the
horses was much improved; they sweat
ed less and bore fatigue better. These
experiments have excited much interest
in military circles, and it is very gener-
ally recognized that. there is imperative
need for complete and careful study OF
the question of cavalry forage. New
York Commercial Advertiser
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Carried the Baby.

One of the district messenger boys I'M
dertook novel task Sunday afternoon.
He was called to a Franklin street house,
where he found a woman with baby.
81 am going to take baby to the park for
an airing" she said. my maid has gone
home sick, and want you to go with
me to carry the baby. You can do it
well enough if you only think So" The
boy did not think so at all, but he had
no way out of it, and for three hours he
bore the infant until he feared that his
arms would come out of their sockets.
Don't gimme no moro calls to that
house." he said, when he reported at
headquarters. ''I couldn' stan two times
o. that" buffalo Courier.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
A Fright Drummer.

The drummer who cannot do his share
of Dragging, and perhaps a little more,
is as rare in the community as the black
swan of antiquity. The LATEST specimen
of drummer's hyperbole l give here word
for word as it was told to me: "You
can't begin to conceive of the enormous
dimensions of our establishment: Just
think of it! We didn't find out until we
began to take stock lately that two of
our cashiers had been missing for four
weeksl"-Jewelers Weekly.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
a Girls Reasoning.

There was a girl whose logical turn of
mind was her destruction. She could rea-
son with Euclid, but the culinary results
which her reasoning brought her were
peculiar. Once, when she had been sent to
make some drawn butter gravy and the
result was not forthcoming, her mistress
went out to see what she was doing. She
found the girl trying to melt down some
uncooked pie crust, having argued that
as pie crust was made of butter and
flour, and drawn butter gravy was made
of butter and -four, she had only TO melt
down the pie crust to get drawn butter
gravy.-Boston Transcript.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
POliteneSS,

1t is polite to avoid practical jokes. 1t
is polite when you have offended any
one or hurt his feelings in any way to
apologize for it as clearly as possible,
without reservation or excuse, since the
more Vulgar man is the more does he
obscure and degrade an apology by self
justification. It is polite to express an
interest in or admiration of that which
is dear to others.
1t is sometimes more polite to accept
a gift or ooprtesy, especially from
humble people, than to refuse it; and it
is polite to show the utmost kindness
and courtesy to those who have been re-
duced by adversely And it is some
thing more than Nlite to interpose and
shield another person from modification,
wounded self respect and loss of dignity.
Jean Johnson in Jenness- Miller Maya
zina
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
4 BEDTIME SONG.

Sway to and fro in the twilight gray,
This is the ferry of Shadowtown;
1t always sails at the end Of day.
just as the darkness is closing down.
Rest little head. on my shoulder, so;
A sleepy kiss is the only fare;
Drifting away from the world We 20,
Baby and in the rocking chair.
SEQ where the ire logs glow and spark,
Glitter the lights OF Shadowiand;
Tho winter rain on the window-har&l
Are ripples lappaag upon It's STRAND
There where ths mirror ID CHANGING dim
A Lake lies shiznnering. cool and stiA;
blossoms are waving above Its brin-
Those over there On the window sill
Rock slow, more slow, in the dllsky light,
Silently hover the anchor down.
Dear littAe passenger, say Good night"
We've reached tho harbor OF Shalowtown
w. Douglas Ciaypool
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Contents of This Sphere.

Statisticians divide the earth into: Cul-
tivatable land, 2S,469,O00 square miles;
steppe, scrub, poor grass, ETC., 10, 901, ZOO
square miles; barren deserts, 4.190, 900
square miles; a total Of 46, $50, 900 square
miles. The population living upon this
is reckoned at little over /, 467 ,0O0, 900,
divided thus: Europe, 800 POO, 900; Asia,
100000; Africa, 1877, 0OO, 900; Austria
liza, 4,730, goo; North America, 81, 2s0, 900;
South America, 36,50o, o0O. Exchange.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Respect for Age.

Proverbs and sage advice for the
young ara perhaps common enough.
Counsel to the aged is not SO frequent,
doubtless because it is not supposed to
be so much needed.
Here, however, is a very wise and wit
ty bit of advice to those who are grow
ing old, uttered by French philoso-
pher:
always respect gray hairs-above all
when they are on your own head. -
Youths Companion.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
IRON CLAD NOTES.

We ave for sale ronclad notes waving
all the exemptions, with other binding fea
ures, prepared by he Solicitor General
Of the Blue Ridge Circnit, which is pro-
nounced the strongest and best note in ex.
istence. 1t leaves no loophole for dishon
est man to escape from paying his obliga
tioh, while it is approved by honest men
We send abook of one hundred notes. with
stub, post paid to any address onreceipt OF
60 cts, or book of fifty notes 'or 35 cts
Address Marietta ga Joprn"1
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Catching Turtles in Rat Trans.

A bright young lad about 8 years old,
living near Orlando, has adopted novel
use for steel trap, commonly used for
catching rats and other small animals.
The boys house is near lake, and after
batting the trap in the usual manner he
sets it in the water for the purpose of
catching turtles, and has succeeded in
trapping several in this original manner.
Orlando Record.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15

In Berlin schoolmistress receives $500
annually during the first years of her
service, schoolmaster $4G0 After
forty-two years Of unbroken service tho
schoolmistress' maximum salary is $3.50,
the schoolmaster's $500.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
Aftar strilrinc Enc Ioer,arr..

Captain-Hnrry up there. Get into
the boats. She'll go to the bottom in
five minutes.
Excited Passenger-But l say, captain,
give me time to get my rubbers, won't
you? If l get my feet wet it'll be the
death O me.-Epoch.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15

The Academic des Sciences has sub
mitted a new system Of musical nota-
ton in which 81 characters replace the
203 symbols now employed to represent
the Z notes of the gamut'in the z keys
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
MONEY TO LOAN

On improved farm lands, in sums of
$500 and upwards, payable in small an
nual installments through period OF five
years. Rates low, Terms easy. Apply to
j. E. MOTLEY, Attorney.
Marietta. Ga
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
M "A Ri EFT A
Opposite the Kennesaw House,

CHUCK ANDERSON, Proprietor.
THE BEST OF VEHICLES. TnE
Il safest of drivers and the fastest,
horses are always ready, night and da
Tor hire. No man or woman or child eve
has given me call in the past, who ha
been, nor shall any ever in the future be
dissatisfied with my teams or the men
my employ. Everything and every body
about me are No. /.
| have cheaped my charges proposition
ate to the stringency of the times Fo
references as to the truth of what l say
as the turnouts and charges, go to nv
friends, which means the people general.
ly.
Parties hiring are strictly responsible
Tor the safely of themselves. vehicles and
horses. ], A. G.. ANDERSON.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15
DIR. Z. J. SEIZE
DIR. I'll. V. REYNOLDS

WI HEN NOT ENGAGED ELSE
w where may be found during the Gay
at his office, up stairs, in McClatchy Build.
ing, Southwest corner of Public Square,
and at night at his residence on Powder
Springs street, two doors above the Metho>
dist parsonage, Marietta, Ga. Telephone
No. II.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1891-01-15

Subscribe for the Marietta Jour
nal ond keep posted on county af-
fairs.
, 1891-03-04
Highest of all in Leavening Powet-U. S Govt Report, Aug. IT, 1889
R@A!'I! BakiRs
ABSOLUTELY PURE



The bible Of the sect is not without
beauty and high moral as well as poetic
conceptions. There is much in it of the
nature of mythology and mysticism,
which Buddhists do not pretend to un-
derstand themselves, yet there is much
TO admire. From a book of extracts and
TRANSACTIONS from the Buddhist bible l
give a few examples:
1.-The perfect man is like the lily, un-
soiled by the mud in which it grows"
Another: THE perfect man will not be
angry with him who brings him evil re-
ports Of himself, lest he be not able to
judge tr%uthfully of the matter whereof
he is accused" Its moral code contains
such rules as do not steal" do not
lie;" d not kill" "Do not be a drunk
ard" do not to another what you
would not wish lone to yourself. "
From these examples it may be observed
how nearly their moral law runs parallel
with our own; and that this has exerted
. potent influence in forming the Chi
nese character is evident. Also, that
they cover the cardinal rules Of right
living in good society none viii question.
The system offers motives in the way
of rewards for right living and punish
ments of evil doing. 1t develops symp-
athy, the source of many virtues. 1t
teaches the equality Of all men. One
man is better or worse than another
only as he observes the laws of good So
ciety or breaks them.-W. G.. Benton in
Popular Science.
, 1891-03-04

The demand for good, careful and ac-
curate stenographers and typewriters is
increasing, not decreasing. A girl needs
to know how to spell and punctuate a
letter. besides being able to correct one
that is wrong dramatically. She must
be possessed of that rare and priceless
quAlifcation-common sense. She must
be observing, and she should have an
average mount of intelligence. No
prodigy is required.
AS to wages, the average young girl
cannot expect to be paid as much a the
average man. It Is hard TO say why this
is so for she is almost always just as
capable. A young woman for instance
will get ten or twelve dollars a week
where a young man of the same calber
will receive fifteen to twenty dollars.
Perhaps there is an indefinable feeling
among employers that they cannot ex-
act so much from a woman as they can
from a man. A man will be often re-
quired to do a great deal of miscellaneous
work in connection with shorthand and
typewriting, which would never be i'm
posed on a woman.
But there can be no doubt that there
is still room for those who win take the
trouble to properly equip themselves for
the work. The enumeration is ample
for the needs Of the average girl, and
greatly in excess of that paid for other
kinds of clerical work.-Ladies' Home
Journal.
, 1891-03-04

Persons who read the reports of the
number of pieces of mail matter handled
at the New York postofice may have
wondered how the figures were obtained.
The explanation is simple: Every piece
was actually counted. Every employer
who stamps mail matter must keep an
accurate account of the number of pieces
he handles and must make a daily report
of the amount of work he has done. He
must not only give the grand total. but
tell what part was in each of the four
classes of mail matter, and also how the
pieces reached the postofice.
The letters, etc, are mailed at the
postofice, in which case they are known
as drops" collected by carriers, arrive
by trains, or, in the case of foreign
matter, are brought by steamers. A
report must be made of every piece
that comes in by any one of these ways.
When one considers that an average
of about GOO, 900 letters alone reach the
general postofice here every day, it will
be seen that the ask of counting them
is a big one. Let n person count 1000
and then try to get some idea of the
labor involved in keeping a record of
1000 times that many, and his head will
swim at the thought. AS the counting
is lone by a number of men, and the
letters are subdivided into patches, the
labor is not SO enormous as might at
first be supposed.-New York Tribune.
, 1891-03-04
Dlspo.lng of an once Seeker.

1.-The art of putting the right men in
the right places" Talleyrand once said,
'is first in the science of government;
but that of finding places for the discon-
tented is the most difficult"
1t would seem from this that the dis
tinguished French statesman was as
much a prey to office seekers as arsrthe
public men of our own time. His man
ner of disposing of them is amusingly
illustrated in the following anecdote:
One day one of these troublesome per,
sons presented himself to Nj. de Talley-
RAND and reminded him that he had been
promised a place.
Every WELL" said Talleyrand, "but
tell something that suits and which can
be given. You don't know of anything?
Well, find something. You must admit
that / / haven't the time to search for you. {"
The applicant was thus disposed of for
the time being, but a day or two later he
again presented himself, his face radiant
with hope, and said:
'Sir, such and such a place is vacant"
Vacant" replied T~alleyrand. "Well,
what do you wish me to do? You ought
to know that when a place is vacant it
has already been promised Boston
Transcript.
, 1891-03-04
New York. Women Notnrlss.

There'are four women notaries in Now
York, and n of them is the private
secretary of Commissioner Beattie.
During his illness she superintendent the
work of 1900 men, and personally in
v~estigated the details of its accomplish
ment. She is a western woman who
came to New York to join the ranks of
the women custom house inspectors,
and Is a distinctive type of the self
made woman who is now asserting her
self SO generally in the worlds work.
By making her home each year in fami-
lies of different nationalities she has
learned to speak with a good accent four
of the most important tongues one hears
in this very cosmopolitan city, and in
addition to her duties as inspectress,
managed to spend three hours a day in
special study at one of the city colleges.
She is quite the reverse of strong mind
ed in appearance, low voiced and bright
in conversation, sings delightfully."- in a
deep, full contralto voice, dances like u
dream, and has the happy faculty of
making a successful social evening out
of the most undesirable and hopeless of
materials. Her name is Miss Westover.
The woman Ben Franklin is a most in
teresting phenomenon wherever you en-
counter her.-New York Sun.
, 1891-03-04

Very few people can do what a jolly
old lady who keeps a notion shop on
Thompson street has succeeded in doing
inspiring sufficient confidence in a
large circle of her young male custom
ers to induce them to intrust to her the
writing of their love letters. These
young men are mostly wage earners,
who toll all day, who have horny hands
but warm hearts, and who have never
become well enough acquainted with
the pen to give them confidence in their
own ability TO write nice letters to their
sweethearts.
These young lovers go to the little
shop on Thompson street, and in the
privacy of the quantity furnished back
room give the pink checked, silver haired
mistress Of the place a general idea of
what they want 10 write ito de girl"
Then they sit back and play with the
yellow tabby cat and listen to the
scratching of the old lady's pen. In ten
minutes the letter is read to the lover.
If it meets with his appreciation, it is
sealed, addressed and posted. Then the
blushing youth hands the old lady a
silver quarter and goes on his way re-
joicing.-New York Star.
, 1891-03-04

All clever women do not possess SINH
lar capacity for business, a fact which is
conspicuously illustrated in the cases of
Miss Elizabeth Bisland and Miss Nellie
BLY,, the rival globe hotters. Miss BLY,
won the race around the world by three
days, but she has sunk into o~bscurity,
and her name, which was on everybody's
lips a year ago,-is now only tradition.
On the other hand, Miss Bisland is still
a favorite contributor TO The Cosmopol-
itan, from which she is drawing so lib
eral a salary that she is able to live in
London. And it is in a great measure
because Miss Bisland has business talent
as well as literary ability and personal
beauty.
Miss Bisland is q Mississippi girl, who
entered journalism in New York three
years ago. She contributed to The Cos
mopolitan regularly. When it was an
nounced that Nellie BLY, was to be sent
around the world to beat the record of
'Phileas Fogg," the managers of the
magazine sent for Miss Bisland, and she
undertook to start in a contrary direction
in a race with Nellie BLY, six hours later.
Then she went to pack a small travelling
bag for the journey, but amid all the
hurry of preparation she found time to
go to her lawyers and have an agreement
drawn whereby The Cosmopolitan en-
gagged her services on salary for two
years.
When the charming young woman
reached the Office to receive her final in
structions, she smilingly unfolded the
agreement and it was signed. Under it
she still draws her salary. Miss BLY, had
no such foresight. She had no sooner
returned TO New York than she quar-
relied with The World, and her services
were dispensed with by that paper. Miss
Bisland lost the race, but she gained the
greater material advantages from it be-
cause she had a talent for business
Philadelphia Times.
, 1891-03-04


In the Pennsylvania railroad depot the
other morning 1 noticed moving among
the crowd a tall, handsome brunette
somewhere in the tventies. She pur-
chased tickets which would carry her
through several states and territories by
almost as many railway connections,
and had her baggage, four iron bound
trunks, checked to apparently all the
cities in the Union. She was young,
pretty and alone, and she seemed to have
such a lot of things to attend to, which
she did in a thorough businesslike way
and without any assumption of mascu-
Unity.
As she tripped through the gateway to
board the train a weather beaten old of
fcer, who is n of the veterans at the
depot, shook hands with her and said:
GOOD luck and lots of business"
who is the actress?" some one in
quired.
"Actressl why that young woman is
no actress. She is one of the sharpest
drummers in this country in her line. 1
have known her since she started on the
road seven years ago. She was only 1S
then, but looked two years younger. 1
have met travelling agents and drummers
Of all sorts, but it is seldom that you will
come across a woman as young as that
who starts out from New York twice a
year, and visits every city in the United
States where there is any chance to sell
goods. Tortoise shell and amber goods
is her line, and she does the biggest bust
ness for the biggest house in New York,
and is the niece of the head of the firm.
She is just as gentle and good as she
looks, but 1 guess the young man who
would try to mash her on the road
wouldn't want to try the second time
New York Telegram.
, 1891-03-04

They are always in the right, aren't
they, these women who bind their vari-
GUS wrongnesses into their own sweet,
feminine selves2 why do you try your
eyes" said a sensible" woman to a hut-
tering little furry and feathery creature,
with that spotted veilY"
But you don't wear any veil at all,
do your
Not very often"
'And your boots have thick soles and
low heelsy'
yes, but
''You don't carry any muff, Isuppose2"
mo, l couldn't walk with my arms in
any such cramped position; but how
do
"And in summer you don't use a par
asolY'
''Parasols are %nuisances; but who
told
And you have a pocket where you
can get at it, and you don't carry your
purse in your hand, and you wouldn't
use face powder for anything, and you
don't wear n yellow garter nor a shout
der cape, and you aren't afraid of a
mouse, and you can indorse a check,
and"-
but you never saw me until yester-
day
''And when you were a little girl you
never played with dolls!"-New York
Cor. Denver Republican.
, 1891-03-04

Sol Strauss, of this city, has been
placed in an unpleasant predicament.
Notlong ago he received notice through
attorneys in Germany that a rich uncle
had recently died, leaving him heir to
5 10000. This was not bad news, but the
legacy was conditional upon his marry
ing and settling down within twelve
months time of the date upon which
official notice was given.
Gossip's tongue soon posted people on
the Strauss windfall, and now he is in
daily receipt of scores of letters from
ladies offering to help him out of his
difficulty .-Pueblo Cor. st. Louis Globe
Democrat.
, 1891-03-04

Another View of a Kind OF Economy.
I'VE never begin fires until the LIST Of
October, and we give them up the LIST of
May"
But it is frightfully cold up here in
October often, and always in May. How
can you Dear itY'
"oh, l wear a shawl, and James writes
in his overcoat."
In the same line:
'If you do not poke the fire 10 will not
need m~ending."
But it is so comfortless."
Nothing of the sort; it is very IN
wholesome to have rooms hot"
A dollar or two a month will in some
houses make all the difference between
two meals a day being a fast and a
feast, and five or ten dollars between
positive pain from cold and comfort.
Surprising SEQ are saved by the end of
the winter, have they been worth the
discomfort
Better if a decent fire and bright
lights cannot be afforded in W. rooms
to live in one than inhabit 4 well.-New
York Ledger.