Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-12

ton, claiming that he was 80 poor and
honest that he could not afford socks.
HIS successor will doubtless be plain
man, who viii 90 about canvassIng the
Seventh district and wiping his nose on
the top rail of the fair ground fence be
cause he is so plain and poor that he
cannot afford a handkerchief.
Until last June Mr.. Simpson was the
city marshal Of Medicine Lodge He
was up to that time regarded us short
on genius and long on socks. Now it is
otherwise. Next TO the "Kreutzer
Sonata" and the young lady at the Four
teenth street museum who has heavy
sorrel name down her spinal column, the
Sockless holds the age on public notice.
Colonel Marsh Merdock was the first
to discover that Jerry did not wear
socks. The two went in swimming to-
gether during the campaign, and then
the secret got ont. The Great I'm
socled owns $40 acres Of land, which is
this year all into wheat, or nearly SO at
least.
He also owns several head Of bright
young heifers, several of whom will en-
ter the mich arena this spring. Mr..
Simpson is the author of a small blue
! book on "The Care Of the Cow, and I'd
der Information Generally" 1t is dedi-
Gated to Thomas Brewer Peacock, the
poet of Topeka.
am indebted for most Of the above
facts TO Mr.. Simpsons Medicine Lodge
biographer and chiropodist, who wishes
me to say that he treats all troubles of
the feet, such as corns, bunions and in
growing nails, chilblains, quarter crack,
etc, etc, by mail as well as personally.
He has a bust of Mr.. Simpsons foot at
his place, and cheerfully answers all
questions regarding the great man.
Mr.. Simpson is the humorous feature
! of the new and powerful movement
which seems TO create general mirth,
but there is a power and principle be
hind it all TO which it will be profitable
10 pay attention. 1t may not win this
time nor next time, but when it does
win the professional politician will do
well TO get into his cyclone cellar and
spread his umbrella.
Charles Lederer, Chicago, writes: Il
am an artist, and have very little exer-
else indeed. What would you advise?
Do you favor bowling? Did you ever
bowl anyF'
Yes, Charles, have bowled in the
happy past. IfavorIt. Bowling builds
up a person real well. You will find a
| good bowling club near the Germania,
/ on the North Side, where a lot Of talent
/ ed cusses go for TO bowl. l removed my
/ dressing sacque and bowled there one
/ evening quite while. The city libra
rian was present He asked me to bowl.
/ had never before bowIed. At the end
of long, straight, convex alley stood
/ several wooden pins, which it is the OBJ
/ ject of the player to knock over by
means Of large, heavy balls also made of
wood. If the player can at the same
| time also mutilate a small mulatto boy
who sets up the pins much mirth is
added TO the game. | went there need
ing exercise, and got so much of il
/ that have not needed any at all ever
/ since. ] did not knock over any pins,
but l got the exercise.
A few days afterward l met the hoary
headed librarian on the street. He said
81 must tell you that we had a job put
up on you at the Bowling club the other
/ night"
"Ahl" said cheerily. What was it,
/ "WeIl, we arranged a string in front
| of the pins so that we could throw your
/ ball off the track every time, and thus
/ we could prevent your getting a single
pin even by accident. But" he added
with a tremendous sigh that was almost
a sob, lit was not much Of a success"
WHY
"Why? Why because your ball never
got to the string"
Yet l regard bowling as a healthful
exercise, and far superior to the mutila-
ton of scroll saw brackets and members
of the family by means Of Indian clubs,
/ | have also tried dumb bells. A very
large one is now holding my door shut
as ! write these lines.
But | was benefited more by the
game of bowls, ! think, than by any
other game | ever played. Tiddlede-
winks, of course, will always have its
-