The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-16
MISCELLANEOUS.


you wait"
Mabel (confdentially)-"I was aw.
fully stuck on yon once, jack" Jack
(gratifed) -''Whcn was that?" Mabel
''Before knew you. Epoch.
81 tell you [ won't put another
blamed cent into the business" he said.
Don't talk so loud, Mr.. Bullion, urged
the other, 1.-The clerks downstairs will
hear you.'' 'eWhat oft? It's no secret, !"
roared Mr.. Bullion. ''They know I'm
the silent partner. Chicago Tribune.
A woman called at the department
of charities on Saturday bearing letter
from a charitable Sewickley lady, which
stated that of the three varieties of poor
persons-name1y, Goods poor, the devils
poor, and poor critters bearer was
of the third named species and deserved
special aid. She was sent to the County
Home.-Pittsburgh Commercial
"A French doctor has secured a
patent on a process for electro-plating
people after they die, and making their
bodies as indestructible as copper or
brass. If this is true, we can't see why
no-account husbands and good-for-nOth-
ing sons-in-law may not be used for
bookcases aud hat racks, after they
stop spelling pure air by breathing it
Rams Horn.
One Form of It.-'SYou call Roxley
a conceited man? He's always running
himself down. I've heard him say he
had no memory, no imagination, no
faculty of doing things like other peo-
pie, and he hated to look at his own in
significant image in the glass. ''Yes,
that's his way of saying that if he'd had
the making of himself he could have
done much better job than the Lord
did.'-Chicago Tribune.
-Stammerers, when whispering
rarely show any impeachment in speech.
On this fact new method of treatment
has been advocated, which is as follows:
In the first ten days speaking is pro-
hibited; this will allow rest to the voice,
and constitutes the preliminary plan
of treatment. During the next ten
| days speaking is permissible in the whis-
| pering voice; and in the course of the
next fifteen days the ordinary conversa-
tional tone may be gradually employed.
i'm 1909, during the second invasion
| of Spain by the French, some valuable
crown focls of sheep were sold to raise
money. The them American Consul al
Lisbon, Portugal, Mr.. Jarvis, pur.
chased 400 head and sent them to this
country A portion of the pure and I'm.
mixed Merino blood of these f1oclzs is
still to be found in some few parts OF
| America. Such was really the origin
of the immense f1ocks of fne-wooled
sheep now to be found in the United
States.
The meanest man in California
crawled into his hole with disgust when
he heard of the meanness of the fellow
who became plaintiff in remarkable
lawsuit. A man from Bare Butte Val
ley lost his pocket-book containing $3.50.
which was found by man of Elk Creek.
A month later, upon learning who was
the owner, he returned the same, and
the owner was very thankful-hut sued
for interest for the use of the money fo1
that time. Judgment was given fol
$1.45 and costs.
An absent-minded Maine man, along
in the fall, when he saw his neighbors
digging their potatoes, took his horse
put some baskets into the cart, and
with his boy, drove the team across the
pasture to a back field. Opening the
bars, the boy drove the cart into Che
field, when the farmer stepped out few
rods from the fence, looked about him
gazed across the field up and down, anC
seeing no signs of potatoes, said t.
himself: "Well, declare, l thought
had some potatoes here, but 1 guess
forgot to plant EN-"
To growl is one of the JOYS of life
according to a commuter on one of the
railways running into this city. He i.
even willing to pay for it, apparently
for, at the beginning of the year, al
official on the road having offered hin
an annual pass he declined to accept it
''No, thanks" said he, returning thu
card. II am much obliged, but I prefer
to pay my fare and retain my privileg,
of expressing my Indignation at the way
this road is managed. / wouldn't sci
my right to revile you and your blanket
old system for all the passes in crea
ton. IN. Y. Sun.
The pleasure of bathing in a Pull
man car is thus drolly pictured by
gentleman who has doubtless expert
eneed what he describes: The coacl
swings and jolts along, and you fee
your way unsteadily to the tiny bath
room. The portr fills the tub, which i
narrow and deep and more like barre
tn n the vessels we use in our houses
len to one, as you sit beside the ap
paratus to undress, the car will strike ;
sharp curve, and all the water in tn,
tub will leap out and deluge you from
y head to foot. If you escape that luck
and get into the tub, the curve and tn,
car are certain to meet, and in an in
slant you find yourself in an empty re
ceptacle, while your shoes and stocking
are floating around in the lake that ha
covered the floor.
The Two Japans.
There are two Japans. One com