Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-04-02
THE ON NlBUs.


The ''self-made man. is very likely
to feel that he has d complete corner on
the chefd' puvre business.
Henpecked husbands without dis
tinction of party are unit in favor or
the closure rule. Closure means shut
up.
A veteran of the war studied for
horse doctor but his practice showed
that though veteran-nary surgeon
was he.
She (piqued)-I don't know exactly
what to make of you Mr.. Bland. He
(cager to suggest Err why not try a
husbando
Six hundred fathers have named |
their babies after Chauncey NJ. Depew,
But for a while they Will be chiefly be-
fore dinner speakers.
She (out of breath doesn't it make
you dizzy to waltz? lIe-Ies, bat one
must get used to it, You know. It's
the way of the wlirled.
Teacher-To what circum stance is
Columbus indebted for his fame? Tom
my-To the circumstance that Am srica
was not already discovered.
Uncle George And so you 90 to
school now, johnny? What part Of
the exercises do you like best? Johnny
The exercises We get at recess.
Jake Simpson What is your favor
tie tree, Miss Cora? Cora Bellows Cat
IL P. M.)-The maple. why is it?n
because (yawning) it leaves early"
Young Wife 4 John. mother says she
wants to be crelnated Young HuS-
band-Tell her if she'll put on her
things I'll take her down this morning.
AT the carpet store-H e-What do
you think of this carpet have selected
for you. my dear? She (enthusiastic-
ally)-It would be hard to beat, my
love.
Aged Millionaire-And you refuse
mep Miss Beauti-I am sorry sir. but
l cannot be your wife. lis it because
l am too Old?' No; it's because you
are not older"
Fleckel?' because he was engaged
to my wife before l married her. A
man that's sharper than l am is nc
associate for me.
A maligner of the sex.
'What is an open secret: Tell me, pray:
, I've heard the phrase 50 often during life
''You make an open secret on the day
: You give away secret to your wife
Caller-How perfectly devoted YOU
i are TO your husband. Young wife
# Yes, l am trying to pet and spoil hin
fhaf E 10 hn n,,,.i1c il
9 no other woman can live with him.
o Watts-Wo don't seem to MARI,
so early as they did some few year
ago. Potts-No, they don't. Tn
h great number Of thirty year-old widow
IS with grown daughters is proof enougl
= Of that.
l. She-Now how old would you tax
N me to be. No hattery, now. He
e About forty. That is, by striking a
ID average. Yol talk as wisely as
1T woman of sixty and look like girl {
u, u, twenty.
Ii Anglomaniac-T the way
ae goes. If we hunt foxes folks say W
~ are cruel; if we hunt aniseed. bag
at folks laugh at us. What can we hun
rh without exciting Indignation or rid
Guile? Small boy-Rats!
Little Johnny-Say, father, VIII
n makes the baby cry every time
- wakes up? Brown-Well, from VIII
l know of babies it cries from vex
ton to find that it has kept still for
reasonable length of time.
"Oh Mabel, tell me the truth. no.
if you were in my place would "
accept him?'' Certainly. Why, if
a, had been in your place l would ha
II. accepted him myself, the other nigl
when he proposed to me-"
Isn't it queerp
The man who says he's not afraid to d
That life's not worth the living for lif
.. sake,
=" All kinds of patent medicines will buy
. The moment that he has pain or acl
NJ His Sister-Carrie Goldust has j.
- asked me to be one of her bridesmaid
Sc Jack-By Jove! Do you know, 1 thi
m brides are some of the greatest TO
me- there are. "Why?" because til
never marry the best man, don't y
know"
eS Mrs. Murray Hill-You're not rea
going to tho Pastime boxing contes
are you. Johnp I wish you wouldl
I'm sure it must be dreadful thi
u Mr.. Murray Hill-You're much n
taken, my dear; this is regular k
~. glove affair.
It happened few days ago, wi
there was snow on the ground, and
All was about helping her into the slei,
As she was about to hop into the cut
=. she stopped short. "Are you res
''S lefthandedf" 'Yes," he said. ~
drive with your left handP" Eye
nd he said again. ''Oh!. then please
- me sit on the. right-hand side. WI
''o you?"
le. Young Husband-Here's the
e'S chestnut about a rose being just
nd sweet by any other name. It's a
.A~ it wouldn't. Young wife-Pray, W