The critic., 1891-01-07
HIT OR MISS.

the place OF the 'hello" sirI. Mannfacturcrs
OF gum should protest. Chicago Times.
\ London sootnsaycr announces that tho
Duke Of Clarence 'has the moon VI hiA birth
day anniversary in the place OF Mars vt his
birth" and warns that glass OF fashion and
mold OF form to avoid danger. II the Dukr Ia
sensible, IN view OF this awful prediction, he
VIII reef his collars and cfIs at the first sign OF
storm.'- fhic0DO Times.
Richard Henry stoddard says OF new novel
by Amelia lliyes-C Chanler submitted to him
In manuscript that IL needs pruning. The poet.
critic appears TO be whctting knife ON his
hootcg.- chicago Times.
Amy with n broken engagement, to Mary,
about 10 be marrledl-My dear .,irl. do uot
make the mistake that | did with my Charlie
Don't ask George to eat any OF your cooking
until after You ARE marlcd.-AeW Y0k HI-
GM
Inclined to Embonpoint.
Maude- There goes Kitty Pompen. Why
docs she always walk so fastY
MGbc-Oh, haste makes waist" don't you
know
''Ycs, we've quarrclel. think this parting
from my Amelia will Kill me"
~ .hPnid inink il YOU would feel H." 81,
had S.OoOOO In her own right Htidie,phia
The musician Is the only mortal who II able
TO beat time, aud he does not always do IL
fairly D0iiGs Ners.
\ 2-ycar.od New Jersey girl misunderstood
the choir She thought It sang "l.0rd have
mercy ON us miserable singers, ~ fhti0d'lphi0
Rcc0id.
Adam and Eve had the earth at ono time.
Their experience should be warning 10 those
people who want 1t to-day ROcheGtor Post.
Disappointment first comes In llfo 10 the
baby who has 4 horn given 10 him for present,
and then iinds he hasn't wind enough To blow
it. SCmei cHe Iosf,
He Darling, this engagement ring II worth
She The last one had cost 500
llo-lOu are older rOw-Ac,C lOR HIdld
| ENcitcd Lady (at Atlantic CitY-Why isn't
| something done for that ship In distrcs-t Why
| don't some Of YOU
Lifc.sMcr durredy)-Wc have sent the
crew line To come ashore, mum
| Excited LudN--Of al thiugs. Were they
waiting for formal inytatlOny-NeV lOrI
| NtekiH
| What u proud world this would hc II every
| man lived up 10 his little sons cstimlie o
| him. There Il small hoy In this city, IN
| whcrr eyes hi- unworthy father IA the greatest
man In ull the world. His mother, who l. d
! greGt student OF history, whore admiration To-
| Napoleon Bonupartc Il almost equal To hrl
| telling the hoy the wonderful stories OF tho
great Empcror'S ochieyemcnts, There was
! great sorrow IN the chld'- face when he h9ar.
| the story OF MOSCOW and his eyes snffnsa'
with tc0rf ~ he snid: "Wasa't II too bal
mamma! Oh II papa had only becn th,rcy'-
Atp York SIN,
A recent wedding in England wa- 50 inter
| rupted that the friends OF the welded pair foln
| special reason tu congratulate them when III
ceremony was at last over. All went merrll
| until the bridegroom was called upon 20 pro
duce the wedding ring, In vain he felt In ht
trousers pocket for the Indispensable trlns
Nothing cOnld be found, except hole lhrOigl
which the ring hgd evidently fallen into a
high boot, which l. affected by young men @
That district What was he TO dor "rak
your boot on, said the parsOn. The susp'u.
and ellcncc were painful me OrgNni4t, at III
priests bidding, struck upa "volnntsry." III
young man removed his boat, the ring "
found, also hole In the stocking, and th
worthy minister remarkcl. evidently Wit
more than the delay of she ceremony ia mini
! 'Nonns man, IL IL time You were married.