davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14

-Brown-"See the shooHng stara
last night?" Fogg-''No; bnt I've seen
great many stars that ought to be
shot. Boston Transcript
-Sweller-'.I'd have you to know
that put brains ip my business" Bass
-"Ah. / see! That's what you did with
them, thcn."-Boston Transcript
-"Did he look ghastly?" inquired the
sympathizing neighbor. kind of gas
sedly," replied the bereaved woman.
That's what allied him, you know. He
blew it out t"--Washington Star
Winter Visitor lin Florida. .-'sI
should love dearly to go sailing, but it
looks very dangerous. Do not people
often get drowned in this bayY' Water
man-"No, indeed, mum. The sharks
never let's any body drown"
Don't you want me to buy you
some neckties. Charlie?" "Yes, Alice,
my love. am about as anxious for
you to buy me some neckties as you
would be to have me buy your spring
bonnet for you. Truth.
Citizen Notemaker = You give
mighty short weight in your ice this
summer" Frigidus. the Snow Man.
"Yes, but / give mighty long wait for
my pay" Citizen N. (coldly)-s'O do
you? Well, 'all things come TO the
man who waits. ~ Philadelphia Press.
An Irish juror begged of for deaf
ness. The judge asked him If he could
hear his charge to the jury. Eyes, I
heard your honor's charge, but
couldn't make any sense out of it." "A
bystander remarked--"That is NO evil
dence of deafness"
From the Standpoint of His Expe-
rience. -Landlady-''Yo You say the chick
en- soup isn't good: Why, ! told the
cook how to make it Perhaps she
didn't catch the idea" Boarder-'.No;
think it was. the chicken she didn't
catch. Town Topics.
-Ethel-'What do you think of nv
Photograph Clarissa--s'I can not say
that l admire it." Ethel-'why not?
Mother says it is perfect likeness"
the trouble. dear. It
is too good likeness to be good pho
tograph- IN. Y. Press
-''One of the most marvellous cures
on record. Mrs johnson has been all
ing for year, having first one thing
and then another. Since last week she
has completely recovered" ssWhat
cured her?" THE doctor. He sent in
his bill for IN. Y. Recorder.
"A Mysterious Dish. --'sThe vicissi-
tudcs of this life are wonderfulr' ex-
claimed the clearinghouse keeper at
breakfast the other morning. True; a
man can never tell what he's got before
him." replied the sarcastic boarder,
With side glance at the plate Of hash
n front of him.-N onker's Statesman.
First Hen = There comes the
woman to drive us out of her garden"
second Hen--"Yes; and she's picking up |
stone. too. Let's fly out quick" First
icn-"No. no, stay here" Second Hen
But she's aiming right for u.s." First
ien-"Yes, and if we move we might |
ret hit"-Liverpool Porcupine.
"A Approximate Idea a-Shc-'.How
many are there in a billion?" He
We'll. dear, it would be rather hard to
Illustrate the full capacity of tho term
a billion but a faint idea Of it can be
'ained by counting the things woman
links she would like to buy when she
In big dry goods store. Philadel-
'hia Times.
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14
THE SINGLE MAN.


He meets the sr1ile OF young and old, he wins
the praise Of all.
BE is feasted at the banquet and distinguished
ut the ball;
When town grows dull and sultry he may fly to
green retreats.
welcome visitor In turn at twenty country
seats;
He need not sock society, for, do whate'er he
Invitations and attentions will pursue the
Single Man.
Fathers and brothers anxiousiy attempt his
taste to suit;
In every trout brook he may fish. and every
where may shoot;
Political opponents 10 his principles concede.
Ho quaffs the finest Burgundy, he rides the
feetest steed;
And never yet were families. since first the
world began,
United. bIess'd and fond as those who court the
Single Man
The price OF bread, the price of funds on him
jnfitct no fills:
He fears no winter avalanche Of tradesmen's
lengthy bills;
Academies" and colleges" he passes calmly
Nor casts on fancy dry-soods stores sad and
and timid eye;
scan,
Trustees" and ''iointures" boast no power to
rack the Single Man.
But years steal on, and he begins with careful
folks to class.
And shuns the picnic scramble, and the dinner
on the grass;
And breads the cold spare chamber and the
crowded hall Of mirtb,
And loves the spreading easy-chair, and blazing
quiet hearth;
And votes warm rooms and early hours the best
and wiscst plan;
But homo affords few comforts to the ailins
Single Man.
He lacks true and kindred heart his Joy ana
grief TO share,
He lacks the winning tenderness Of woman's |
gentle care;
No children gather round him, beloved and |
loving train.
Eager TO win their fathers smlie TO sooths |
their fathers pain
He rates his poor dependents Is . mercesary |
clan;
Attachments come not ready made TO cheer the
Single Man
He stirs the fire, undraws the blind, and counts
the clocks dull chime:
Acquaintance sometimes sit with him Hve min
utes at time;
Longer they really cnnnot stay SO nervous he
II seems charity 70 go. and leave him quite
alone"
No earnest eyes to his arc raised, his changcful
looks to scan
The bland physicians queries must sunsce the
Single Man
m Y. Ledger.
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14

Jack n1dle 8 splendid defense and
passed the 200 amid great cheering.
"If he only holds out, we'll beat
them," cried Sugdcn, delightcdly.
And Jack did hold out, and carried
his bat from the field with the magnifi-
cent score of 10S, having batted four
hours and half, and having played
every man of the Paladins down. His
comrades made an enthusiastic rush
upon him and carried him off upon
their shoulders in triumph. They had
beaten the Officers by jnst twelve runs!
But Jack, tired and triumphant, was
thinking more of certain promise
than he was of the noisy congratula-
tions of the Paladins. He mopped his
face, combed his hair, brushed the
dust off him and started. as soon as he
could get away, for the Burnses.
The house was some distance in the
suburbs, and what was his surprise and
joy as he came over to see Letitia
slowly sauntering home, swinging by
ribbon her gay parasol He overlook
her and she turned to greet him with
sweet smile. He did look handsome in
his cricket suit of white flannel,
flushed as he was with his brilliant
achievement. Nothing excites more
admiration for handsome young man
in the breast of a woman than an n.h-
letic hero.
For the first time Jack noticed
slight bashfulness in Letitia as she of
fered him her congratulations.
do you remember your promise, Lc-
titia?" he said.
"What promise?" she replied, with q
most innocent expression.
THAT you would give me an answer
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14
A CAUTIOUS LANDLORD.

He Had an Eye Out for Runaway
Couples.
There was q society wedding recent
ly, duly assisted at by the satisfied and
admiring relatives of the very youthful
bride and groom, which had denoue-
ment too amusing to be carefully kept
from gossip's keen ears. 1t seems, says
the New York Times, that on ac-
complishing the first stage of the we'd
ding journey halt was made at q
mountain hotel, the only one in the
small summer resort which it adorned.
The pair descended from their carriage,
but instead of q smiling landlord, eager
and hospitable, the host was serious
and stern-eyed.
I'm father myself" he commented
to the astonished groom, when, after
leaving his bride in the reception. room,
he followed the landlord to the Office 10
secure apartments, land no runaway
couples can be accommodated here. 1
advise you, my boy, to take the young
girl home at once without an instant's
loss of time"
Indignant, the young husband pro-
tested, showing his card and giving his
home and credentials But the land
lord was not to be duped by such
proof, and the newly
made benedict had to submit to the
humiliation Of permitting a dispatch to
be sent to his father asking for indorse-
ment. Ofcourse the reply was prompt
and equal to the emergency, but, pend
ing its arrival, the unhappy young
couple were kept under surveillance in
The public parlors.
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14
THE JAR TRAP

now Rats Are Trapped by the Enellsh.
men In Burmah.
Rats may readily be induced to jump
or drop into any receptacle, especially
If it affords them adequate conceal.
mcnt and they do this without one lin
gering suspicion of their inability to
reach the only existing outlet when the
time for retreat approaches Thus
traps on this principle may readily be
designed and are obviously preferable
to our rat traps where the vermin are
numerous. This method was thus ex-
planned by our correspondent, who
spoke of the traps as being "most sue
cessfully used in Burmah. where the
rats are perfect pest. The jar trap
was set for three nights"
ION the first occasion saw twenty
two rats turned out On the second
night only nine rats were caught. The
trap was then put away for weeks,
when 1t was again successfully used,
but am unable to say to what extent
it then succeeded. The common PeQu
jar / used was about one and one-half
or two feet deep. and fourteen or fifteen
inches broad, and hole was punched
in the shoulder just large enough for Z
rat to enter. There was about six or
seven inches Of paddy (rice in HUSKY in
the jar, which was buried to within
eight inches of the top The mouth of
the jar was then closed with board
and stone. A quantity of old timber
joists and straw were in the clubhouse.
and no end of rat holes everywhere
around.
Il incline to the opinion that INV
blue-legged Burmah servant very sju-
diciously' punched the hole with an old
nail and hammer, for though It was
by no means regular or quite round 1t
seemed at first sight too small), it Just
admitted hungry rat. / do not think
the rats, after they had eaten all the
grain. could have gotten through the
hole, they seemed so filed out; other
wise, with such lot in the jar. some
could have got to the hole and pulled
through, imagine. A moving mass of
frightened, screaming rats is q bad
taking Off for jump, admit, but an
old fellow now and then might have hit
the hole. doubt il he could, however.
have got through" It is important,
however, in traps Of this kind, to see
that the inside of the vessel is SO smooth
as to afford no foothold for the rats, or
they will readily escape by clim bing the
sides London Field.
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14

Paladins' Why there was now not one
poorer than he.
But Lctitia shook her short black
curis and was inexorable. Jack had to
60 away in disgust without his promise.
but when he got to Philadelphia be
found ont that they knew there ouite
ss much about cricket as the HaliRoni-
ans lie resolved that he would de-
vote all his spare tine to mastering the
gams' He was going back in two years,
ana perhaps tu the meantime hs could
- lsRe cricket gatrs W. ! prV
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14

worthy to love her."-Byron.
Jack Wilkins was the most enthusi-
astic criclketer in Halifax. He belonged
to the "Paladins," the best civilian club
In the town, the one that was always
pitted against the military. But unfor-
tunately Jack was the worst player in
the club As fielder he would pass
muster. but somehow he couldn't bat.
He read Lilywhite and all the other an
thorities on the game, but still he
failed. He practiced good deal, but
couldn't get the hang OF it.
Jack was intending to study dentistry
and he was In love. The name of his
sweetheart was Letitia Burns, q girl as
pretty as picture and considerable of
. tease. Lctitia laughed at Jack when
he grew sentimental, but didn't refuse
to go about with him. Jack was to go
to Philadelphia to the dental college,
and the only regret he felt at going was
that he was leaving Letitia to be
oeaued around by possible rival. He
couldn't get her to make him anyprom-
ise until the night before his leaving
Halifax for Philadelphia, when Lctitia.
laughing. said to Jacks oft repeated
Importantly: "I'll tell you what, Jack,
III give you an answer when you be-
come the best batsman in the Paladins..
Jack looked rueful and rubbed his head.
he was going away from Halifax for
two years, and how could he become
the best cricketer In the Paladins?
Letitia's condition was impossible of
tulhllment The best batsman in the
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14

Mrs Losing latter his confession)--
SO you lost fifty dollars, then. How
often have ! warned yon against fast
Ben Losipg-That's the trouble. Il
Mrs Losing-Whata the tropble?
Ben Loslne-I Sook your advice. J
NJ on The alow QBse-fuek -"
The Colfax chronicle., 1891-11-14
SINGLE TAI DEPARTMENTS



The Chautauqua Assembly Herald
of the 18th of August which has
been called to our attention especially
with reference to It's report OF an at
tempt Of DR.. J. M. Buchley. editor OF
the Christian Advocate. to answer off.
hand . conglomerate list of questions
almost cyclopedic in their range. Illus
trates the folly of this kind of per
formance for any other purpose than
that Of amusing . thoughtless audience.
DR.. Buckley answered two of the 9ues-
tions correctly, lie said that the first
circulating library in America was
founded BY BENJAMIN franklin, and
that he didn't know who was the man
with the iron mask. II the other re-
plies were trustworthy it was accident
al, for they gave but little evidence of
research, and none Of thoughtfulness
The one Regarding which Il Is our duty
to speak b as strange { mixture, moral
ly, logically and economically, as a
man of such reputation as q teacher
could be expected to ccncoct.
Asked whether the single tax would
abolish poverty DE-, Buckley replied
that it would not because it makes no
provision for the taxStiou II personal
property, and leaves no stimulus to the
poor man to work for . shelter for him-
self in life and for his wife and children
should he be called swsy. How the
taxation of personal property, which is
produced by work and only by work,
can benefit men who live by working.
DR. Buckley did not explain He could
not He simply undertook to teach re-
garding subject to which he had given
no adequate thought Nor did he ask
himself why, though able and willing
to work, poor men are now unable to
get homes Being informed that the.
value Of lot for which he paid u, 900.
and ON which his own home stands,
would disappenr under the single tax.
his mind was impervious to the thought
that II the single tax had been In vogue
when he built his home, he would not
have been obliged to pay such sum
for piece OF Gods earth on which to
build It Neither did he consider that
with the future incoming OF the single
tax his children and his brothers chill
dren would be exempt from such ex-
tortion. Had he done 30. he would
have seen that the single tax. 90 far
from preventing home building, will
It His thoughtlessncss is the
more astonishing when considered In
the light Of the words with which he
began his replv. He said:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
PENITENTIARY MANAGEMENT.

The slight amendments to the peni-
Tertiary bill which the council made were
concurred in by the house yesterday after
noon, and the measure now goes to the
governor for his signature. 1t provides
that the management Of the penitentiary
shall be vested in seven commissioners
who shall be called "the board OF peni-
Tertiary commissioners" no more than
five of whom shall belong to any one
political party, and no more than
two of whom shall be residents of
the same county. These commits
sioners shall be named by the governor
and confirmed by the legislative council,
such appointees to hold Office for term
of two years or until their successors are
appointed and qualified. SAID board
shall meet and organize on the first Mon
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
PERSONAL

DR.. G. W. Harrisonffs up from Berna-
lilo. He is at the Palace.
L. Lopez, Las Vegas; Fred Harri-
son, Cerrillos; Cyrus Mcdaniel, Grants,
are at the Exchange.
Prof. g. s. Ramsey, Of Las Vegas, one
of the leading educationalists in the ter
ritory, is in the city on business.
Sheriff Tranquilino Luna, of Valencia,
efficient and popular, came up last night
from Los Lunas on official business.
Mr.. ]. E. Saint, chairman Of the board
of cattle sanitary commissioners, left last
night for his ranch in Valencia county.
Mrs. A. D. Higgins and Mrs. R. B.
Rice, connected with the Ladies' hos
pital at Las Vegas, are in the city to-day.
Hon. Manuel G. de Baca, school su-
perintendent Of Bernalillo county and ex-
member of the legislature, is in the city
from Albuquerque. Mr.. Baca is friend
of free American public schools.
., Hon. Manuel Salazar y Ortiz, superin-
tendent of public schools Of Valencia, and
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
POJOAQUE HEARD FROM.

To the Editor of the New Mexican.
PoJoAQUE, N. M, Feb. 19.-Dear Sir
In obedience to a resolution adopted by
the city council Of the city of Pojoaque, at
it's regular meeting, February Is, 1891, l
herewith request publication Of the fol-
lowing in your valuable paper:
Whereas, There is some agitation Of the
question Of removing the territorial capt.
tai from Santa Fe, and
Whereas, The people of Pojoaque in
mass meeting assembled have contributed
a purse Of $1.65 to be used where it will
do the most good in furthering the inter-
est of this valley, and
Whereas, the Pojoaque Commercial
club has guaranteed donation of 3,745
town lots on the crest Of Badly mountain
therefore, be 1t
Resolved, That the best interests of the
citizens of New Mexico demand that,
should the capital be removed from Santa
Fe, it can consistently be located only
upon Badly mountain, and we hereby in
struct our representatives in the legisla-
tive assembly to use all their energies to
this end, and no other.
Respectfully,
JOSIAH z. WILLIAMa76u
Mayor Of Poioaque.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

day in March, 1891, and elect presiding
officer and a secretary, the latter to re-
ceive salary not to exceed $500 per an
mum the territorial treasurer to be treas
urer of this board. This board shall hold
six regular meetings yearly, on the first
Monday of March, May, July, September,
November and January. Each commits
sioner shall receive salary OF 500 a
year and their actual necessary travelling
expenses. Their meetings shall take
place in the Office of the penitentiary.
No member of the board shall hold any
other territorial Office. All employees OF
the penitentiary shall be engaged by the
superintendent by and with the approval
of the board OF managers.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

Mr.. George in the chair. The bill was
reported favorably and passed.
A message announced that the council
had passed H. B. No. 70, in relation to
toll bridges and ferries and the man.
agement thereof; also G. B. No. So,
fixing the compensation of probate
clerks; also G. B. No. 116, to establish
the office of oil inspector. On motion Of
Mr.. Fall, II. B. No. 147, to establish
new county to be known as Florida coun-
ty, was read the first and second time,
and on motion of Mr.. Montoya passed;
ayes 20, nays none.
A message announced that the council
had passed II. B. No. 80, as amended,
and also council substitute to house sub
stitute to H. B. No. rs and G. B. No. 81,
the penitentiary bill.
Mr.. Montoya introduced H. B. No. III,
to prevent the unlawful destruction and
injury to private property and unlawful
fencing of lands. Read the first, second
and third time and passed.
The house concurred in the council
amendments to the penitentiary bill.
A message announced that the council
had passed G. B. No. 1875, relating to
cities and incorporated towns also @. B.
No. 131, amending section 1854, Com
piled Laws, relating to cities and towns;
also. G. B. No. 120, fer the protection of
mines and mining claims also G. B. No.
80, to amend section POOL, Compiled
Laws also G. B. No. 1856, to amend Sec
ton BAG, Compiled Laws. Mr.. Montoya
again referred to the question of H. B.
No. 60, and the disappearance thereof.
The clerk showed his receipts, and Mr..
Aragon offered his excuse. The chair
stated that all should be more careful in
the future. Adjourned to 10 a. m.
To-DAY's SESSION
G. B. No. 26, relating to schools in in
corporated cities and towns in the terri
tory OF New Mexico, was taken up. After
considerable discussion of the bill it was
laid on the table indefinitely.
H. B. No. 166, to amend section II,
chapter Sc. of the session laws OF the 2Sth
legislative assembly in reference to the
offices of solicitor general and district at
torneys, was recalled from the office of
the secretary of the territory, where it
now was for the purpose of being printed.
The following new bills were introduced,
read and referred:
BY Mr.. P. Sanchez, H. B. No. 17S,
providing system for the examination
of public school teachers.
By Mr.. Montoya, H, B. No. 179, fixing
the hours of work for laboring men.
By Mr.. Fall (by request, II. B. No.
1870, relative to the removal of county
seats.
Mr.. Walker, from the special commit
tee to whom was referred H. B. No. 134,
creating the county of Union, made an
unfavorable report thereon for the ma
jority of the committee; and Mr.. L. F.
Garcia made favorable report thereon
for the minority of the committee. The
motion that the bill be made the special
order for this afternoon was lost.
H. B. No. 1875, relating to water pipe
companies IN the different precincts of
the counties of the territory and to per-
NIT said companies to build reservoirs,
was considered and passed. Adjourned
to 2 p. m.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
The World Enriched.

The facilities of the present day for the
production of everything that will con-
duce to the material welfare and comfort
of mankind are almost unlimited and
when Syrup of Figs was first produced
the world was enriched with the only
perfect laxative known, as it is the only
remedy which is truly pleasing and re-
freshing to the taste and prompt and
effectual to cleanse the system gently in
the Spring time or, in fact, at any time
and the better it is known the more pop
ular il becomes,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

a man who believes in modern publ C
school system, is visitor in the capital
city to-day. He is accompanied by his
wife.
at the Palace: Jas. A. Phillips, Chi
cage; T. Luna, Los Lunas; W. w.
Jenkins, Fairfield, Iowa; G.. w. Harri-
son, Bernalillo; D. H. Wheeler, man.
ager Daniel Tully troupe; R. E. Small,
Chicago; S. Admanson, Marquette,
Mich. Mrs. S. J. Henry, G. S. Ramsey,
A. D. Higgins and wife, Mrs. R. B. Rice
Las Vegas; w. A. Leonard, wife and
son, Silver City; X. G. Pullman, ST.
Louis,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

For SALE-The best business corner in
the city of Cerrillos, the corner by the
town tank with building upon it, now
occupied as harness shop and renting
at $40 per month. For particulars call
on or address the proprietor, H. Kemler,
Santa Fe, N. NJ.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
Notice..

Notice.
All parties indebted to the late firm OF
Van Arsdell & Co. are hereby respectfully
requested to pay such Indebtedness to the
undersigned who is duly authorized to re-
ceive the same; and such parties are fur
ther notified not to make any payment to
any other person. GEO. W. KNAEBEL,
Atty. Palace Ave., near Court House.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

Mrs. M. G. Long has opened dress
making establishment on Johnson street
and would be pleased to have ladies Of
Santa Fe call upon her; she guarantees
good work, fit and style, perfect satisfac-
tiop
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20
The Daily NeT Mexican
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20.
Announcement,

Any person receiving a copy OF the NEW MEX
1cAN with pencil mark at this paragraph Will
know that it has been sent by special friend or
other persons interested in having them make
careful examination of the reading matter ana
its terms of subscription, in order that they may
avail themselves of its inducements ana attrac-
Wexico. and if living east, may become ac-
ouainted with the advantages aud attractions oil
this the most wonderful valley in the world
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-02-20

All kinds Of legal blanks, deeds, justice
of the peace blanks, note books, etc.
all stock at the New MEXICAN office.