Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1891-04-10
TIE FUNNIEST THING.
A FROG is TWICE AS FUNNY AS He
LOOKS, IF YOU ONLY KNEW IT.

tenn Artist of Splendid Equipment.
II Ia nowhere of record that tho ale
potion. "Tbe funniest things frog,
has ever been denied. although there Is
no evidence that the man VINO maze IL
really knew how funny frog actually
is The probabilities are that he had
been impressed with the frogs comicaI
pre-emincnce simply by observation OF
his external architecture as he posed In
adult pcturcsqueness on log lie
noticed. of course, that frog Is so built
that all the neck he has is the top OF his
head. lie couldn't have failed to OBJ
serve that the frogs mouth begins where
his shoulders leave off. If the observer
didn't note that the frog has to watch
out when he sits down or he may poke
his eye out with his big toe, he failed to
enjoy one of his favorites best low com
edy hits.
And when il dawned upon him, as 1t
it must have dawned, that the drum oil
the frogs ear is worn ON the outside OF
his head being attached to the gable end
of his upper jaw, he was OF course salts
fed that no further evidence was neces-
sary, and he was ready to take the world
into his confidence and utter that famous
declaration about the frogs incontest-
able claim to be placed on record as the
funniest thing that is. Yet even the
halo of drollery that surrounds the frog
at this ripe period of its existence is as
funeral gloom compared to the humor
of his younger days,
HIS EARLY DISCUSSES.
This observer whose sententious com
mentary has passed into a proverb
shouldn't have been content with the
bumor Of which the mere physical con
tour of the completed frog is capable
He should have gone back to the time
when the frog was but protoplastic
atom, involuntarily cruising along the
border Of some marshy pond, where the
muskrat burrows among the logs and
the wild flag waves its lances to the pass
ing breeze, and whose presence is worth
at least $3.50 day to the adjacent dis
penser of quinine.
He should have sought out that gluti
nous molecule. He never would have
suspected it a frog. He never would
globule would he bumped up on bog
swapping at flies and voicing basso pro
fundO serenades to the Silly night He
would as soon have looked for the evo-
luton of a thoroughbred racer from a
wooden saw horse. But that is Just
what that globule is there for, and if this
insufficient observer had only gone back
and watched it grow up with the coun-
try he would have seen how doubly for
tilted against cavil he would have been
in declaring that a frogs place is at the
head of all embodiment of humor ami
mate or inanimate, conscious or uncon-
scious.
| The frogs embryoy ic idea of fun is to
do number OF interesting lightning
changes His masterpiece as a molecular
comedian and his last act in that line of
business, is to transform himself into the
living likeness and granular structure of
a mulberry. 1t is while making this nor
ticultural display of himself that the
whimsical creature is preparing for one
of his most droll surprises, and he next
appears in the lively and grotesque char
acter of fish that has mouth and rows
of teeth like sheephead's, two other
mouths like a suckers, the tail of an eel
| noStrils three times as big as its mouth
IA pair of gills that branch from its head
like the antlers of deer. and the diges-
tive apparatus of grasshopperl All
three of its mouths are in row on the
under side of its chin, the one with the
teeth being in the middle.
| A HOwLING SUCCESS
| This screaming presentation is known
to the small boy as the polliwog and to
science as the tad pole 1t is the frogs
first ambitious attempt at being really
! funny 1t is an instantaneous and cy-
clonic success. But it is followed in
good time by other changes in the bill
First the frog, in his character of polIi-
wog calls in his antler like gills and
slows them away inside of his head
somewhere, Then he springs pair of
legs ON YOU They sprout out on each
side of his body, just aft of the spot
where his gills soaked in, and the con
vulsed observer says:
| Hello! There's his fore legsF
That is evidently Just what the frog in
/ his ludicrous character wants the OBJ
server to think for it adds to the humor-
Gus surprise that he has in store for him
/ when he suddenly sprouts another pair
of legs, and the observer &nds that al.
4 though the first ones had their roots
close behind the polliwog's ears, thew
were nevertheless, its hind legs. and
that the new legs pop out ahead of them,
and, OF course, are the fore legs them.
selves. ms Joke OF the frogs is so good
that he adds stlll another change to his
make up so that he can ENJOY il himself.
/ lie gets md of the little sheepshead
mouth and the two sucker mouths. and
takes ON new mouth that reaches clear
across his face, and he looks I'D and
smiles an expansive smile.
! During all the time that the froc mas.
querades rs Il polIiwog he gorges himself
ON strictly vegetable diet. and if he had
been scoopcd out of the water and kent
out few minutes death would have
claimed him for its own But when he
has got through with his leg show he
trades OIL his gills for "A pair of hlngs
changes his fish heart for the heart of a
reptile, dlscards his grasshopper intesti.
nal arrangement for a regular set of ami.
mai dlgesters, and hauls himself out of
the water ON to bog, or upon the shore
among the PUSHES. and cocks his bulcipg
eye up at you IN rOllicklng way, plainly
informing you that he would be pleased
10 Know what you think of him as a fun
blown lizard He hasn't cot thiro
WIN nm mat he started in with as a
poillWog except his cells tail. He HASN'T
been long land lubber before he bec,,.s
TO hump himself on the back. and 10 ia