The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-01-01
NUMBER A.
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHs.

1T seems to be easier to be a Ma
po1eon of Finance than to pay 100 cents
on dollar.-Lewiston Journal
(which side did the old maid take
in the marriage discussion?" ''That mar
riage Is not a failure. Yankee Blade.
The man who runs his boots down
at the heel has hard time keeping his
toes square with the world. Rams
Horn
-Clara-'I think Fred is one of the
most Weakened fellows I ever metn
Nellie (Fred's best girr - don't think
so. He holds me we'll enough. Boston
Herald.
The Modern Great Man. When
were you born, Prof. Greathead." ''The
18th day of May, 1882 or 50 - am not
sure; but you will find it in the eneyclo-
psBdia. '-Fliegende Blatter.
-Alice-"Why, Edith, is that your"
What pretty bonnet you have onF'
Edith-"Do you think I look we'll in
it?" Alice-''Yes, indeed-I hardly
knew you. ."-Munsey's Weekly.
Physician Ito country editor) -
"Youf pulse is decidedly better. How
about your circulation?" Country Edi-
tor (absent mindedly) Circulation
About two thousand. Subscription
price, S1.5o per year. -Harper's Bazaar.
You don't know what phenome-
non is? Why, COW Is no phenomenon
and an apple tree is not phenomenon
either. but if the cow should climb the
apple-tree that would be phenome-
non. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
-Biohnson-"Have you bought a
ticket to the church fair2" Bones
''Not yet; but speaking of church fairs,
what an awful highway robbery that
was in Arizona, yesterday. Lawrence
American.
-Reader-"Yes, I liked your new
novel very we'll; but l observe the
critics do not find your characters nat
ural." Novelist-'I made those char
acters up out of my own head" Reader
-''Ah! see the critics think they are
rather wooden. America.
Practical Dame "How much are
these fsh?" Marketman sixteen
cents a pound, ma'am." Practical Dame
THAT seems very high, but then,
know fishing is very hard on the consti-
tuition. Every time my husband goes
he has an awful headache the next
morning. Good News.
Employment Agent--"Th' top o. th'
mornin' t. We. Biddy Maloney. Owe
found place fur ye. Go to the strate
an number ye foind on this card.
Domestic-'Sure,i it's noice neighbor-
hood. Oil 60" Agent-Wait minute,
Biddy. Take off that French cap. It's
not a French maid, but an American
gurl they wants."-N. Y. Weekly.
Awful, indeed!-Mrs. Kawler--s'I'm
sorry that your husband was caught and
sent to prison for his embezzlement OF
the banks funds.'' Mrs. Ab-Sconder -
ayes, and the worst of it was that in
court they put him right into the same
pen with all the cheap, petty thieves.
So degrading to a man who stole $780,
O00. "-Lawrence American.
The importance Of thinking before
you speak recently received an amusing
Illustration at a meeting held in WE'LL
known town not hundred miles from
the banks of the Hudson. One of the
persons who occupied the stage was an
enthusiastic deacon, who frequently in
terrupted the speakers by yelling:
THANK goodness for that!'' One gem
tleman was called upon who arose and
said: Ladies' and gentlemen, I am
heart and soul in this Cause, and feel
that it would be great benefit to the
people of this place." Thank goodness
for thatl' yelled the deacon. But,
ladies and gentlemen, he continued,
81 am going to say that it will be innpos-
sible for me to address you this evening
=" "Thank good ness for that!" broke
in the absent-minded deacon, amidst
general laughter. IN. Y. Ledger.