The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-04-06
Very Assuring.

Very Assuring.
Winter visitor Tin Florida)-I should love dearly
to go sailing, but it looks very dangerous. Do not
people often get drowned in this bay?
Waternan-No, indeed, mum. The sharks
never lets anybody drown.-New York Weekly.
"Praise be to him, whose wondrous skill
has conquered every humanill-
And now alone, as victor, stands
The Golden compound of his hands,"
So spake man. with tribute crowned,
of DR.. Pierce, the word-renowned,"
Whose Medical Discovery"
Had vanquished pain and set him free.
One can but speak in praise of remedy so eff
fectual and unfailing as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery. Acting promptly and thoroughly,
1t produces permanent cures. Consumption, in
its early stages, scrofula, liver and kidney dsor-
ders, and all blood diseases, are within the field
OF its unbounded success.
Archbishops Longley and Tomson and Bishops
TAFT ard Wilberforce were once present at
meeting in York, when the late Cannon Trevor
observed them and remarked: "There go Is and
Was. and Wouldn't and Couldn't" Thomson
held the see, LoDgey had held it. TAFT had refused
it, and Wliberforce had striven hard to have 1t,
but had failed.
In place of that constantly tired out feeling,
Ayers Sarsaparilla will give you strength
Miss D. Angelina, why don't you marry Lieu
tenant x?
Miss Artist, because he has no brains-and
he can't ride, dance or play tennis What could
we do with him?
Miss D.-He swms beautifully.
MISS Bon, yes-but one can't keep ones hus-
Dand In an aquarium you Knoxville.
The action of Carter's Little Liver Pills is
pleasant, mild and natural. They gently stimu-
late the liver, and regulate the bowels but do not
purge. They are sure to please. Try them.
There is little girl In Brooklyn who is learn
ing to.spell short words and conseque nty takes
great interest in the big letter advertisements
The other evening after having kept her mamma
busy reading the advertisements to her, she knelt
down to say her prayers.
Dear Lord" she lisped, "make me pure;"
tnen sne nesltated and went on with added Ter
yor moment later, make me absolutely pure,
like the-baking powder.
Ifthere ever was a specific for any one
complaint, then Carter's Lutte Liver Pills are
speclnc Tor sick headache, and every woman
should know this. Only one pill dose. Try
them.
His Unbiased Views.
Willie's composition on soap Is worth printing.
He writes:
"Soap is a kind OF stuff made into nice looking
CAKES mat smell good ana Ssn So Get 1o ~
your eye My father says InS , nsnmosS u D,
use SOAP 1 wish was Eskimose. st. Paul
Pl0neer-Press.
Halps Hair Remover prevents dandruff, and
stops the hair from falling.
An amusing description Of the Carlyle family is
told by Mr. Robert Ford in his volume thistle
down; Book Of Scotch Hulnor'
81 ken them a, :" said the rustic, native OF
Annandale. "Jock's a doctor ABBOTT London.
Tams a harem-scarum kind o. chlel, an wreats
see owre vnnder-Jamie's the man o. that family.
am Pm brood to say ken MN. Jamie Carlyle,
sir, feeds the best swine that come into Dumfres
market"
Vitality. exhausted by overwork or disease, is
quickly restored by use OF Ayers Sarsaparilla.
A Tough State of Affairs.
Mrs. Hamanegg lat boarding house tabe)-You
do not seem to like your steak very well, Mr.,
Skyparlor. -. ..
the fact y r. doesnt seem to like me- al Least
can't produce any impression on it.-Puck.
"Jobnson,s Anodyne Lniment takes the lead:
there is none better" says Boston druggist.
Mr.. Gmps (reproachfully) you would not
do anything as bad as that, would you9
Miss Isimps-oh, yes, i would, am not as
good as look. -, -
Mr.. Gimps (hastilyl- yes you are great
deal better in fact.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Long standing cases OF asthma are relieved by
Johnsons Anodyne Liniment taken internally.
Too Exciting.
"Why did you leave your last placer"
"Well, mum, the Teddy was afther havin' two at
homas q rink and a WALLER taY. a narpassi,rn a..