The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-10-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

In chains-Links.
A probate court-Flirtation.
Down with high prices-Eider.
Worse than suspense nse-Electrocution.
Life.
The great literary trust--Thc hops
that it will be accepted. , -
Glove is blind" but jealouy secs
more than really exists.
To err is human, to forgive, divine;
But Justice says: "We can't remit the fine."
Puck.
An abandoned barn is not half so bad
as an abandoned farmer LoIoeD Cou-
rier.
"This is a very wet country. What
do you raise here chieAy" "Umbrel-
las2'-Pucb.
81 am feeling my ground" said the
man who slipped up in his own door
yard Washington Post.
Poet Gn newspaper office) you
an efficient staff" Editor-"Perhaps
not; but have very effective club. -
Puck.
George-"MIaude, do you love me for
myself alone2" NIaude-"Of course
do; but how many of you are there, any
howW
The fact that brevity is the soul of
wit may explain why some of our bright
est people are so unremittiugly short
Washington Star.
Maud-'I wonder why they call il
the angry seal" Webb-"Perhap be-
cause so many people persist in crossing
it."-B0St0n Post.
Blanche-"Did you part owing to a
Misunderstanding" Rosalie -"Good-
ness me, no! We understood each other
too well. ."-Judge.
''Sir, how dare you disagec with
me2" said the cannibal, Indignantly, to
the missionary whom he had Just sE'di-
lowed Washington Star.
How is it that the same weather which
makes your collar shrink from public
gaze brings your battered cuffs down
over the knuckles of your handsi-Puck.
The man who fools around a mule,
Long after he's forbid
Although he may not know it all,
VIII know more than he did.
Philadelphia Times.
Merritt-"She doesn't seem to get
much good out of her money" Cora
"No; she spends it in getting things
which she says are too good to wear. -
Judge.
The difference between the amuse-
ments of an :cadian shepherd and d
modern politician is, after all, only the
difference between piping lays and lay
ing pipes. oar So,isty Journal
He forgets not to boast what he does for his
brother,
Procuring him victuals AMI pslf;
Though it's not half so hard to beg for an
other
He finds as TO beg for himself.
Judge.
First Hen-"Thcrc comes the woman
to drive us cut of her garden" Second
Hen-''Ges; aud she's picking upa stone,
too. Let's fly out quick" First Hen
"No, no; stay here" Second llen-"But
she's aiming right for US" First Hen
"Ges; aud il we move wo might get
hit. '-LiUerpool P0roupHe.
In battle, a soldier was wounded in
the head by a javelin. The surgeon eX-
amined the wound aud told the mau
that, as the weapon had not touched his
brain, there was every prospect Of his
recovery. "Had possessed any brain,
said the soldier, al should not have been
in the battle. "-Iyg1HaH.
"Oh, yes; he's quite remarkable
man. Able to concentrate his mind on
one particular subject, no matter how
great the crowd and confusion around
him. His power o, abstraction is simply
wonderful" "What Is mis- special branch
of scienccf' "kleptomauia / believe
they call - WiSiiagtot Pest.
Things one woL,d have said differ
entity: A yoIng lady was calling for
the first time upon acquaintances,w whose
frindship she was exceedingly glad to
cultivate, and before whom she wished
to appear rs adyanageously as possible.
But as she withdrew gracefully from
the purlor, size exclaimed, cordially,
while shaking. the hand ol her hostess:
'Dear Miss a. do come aud see
ISe soon, and don't stay as long as
have done !'- Liv{.tiat LAi0a.