The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-05-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A closing remark-''You shut up!"
When doctors disagree the coroner
takes the matter up.-Epoch.
The pot must have been boiling when
1t called the kettle black.-PucE.
It is strange, but the dregs of a pot of
cred paint" are always blue.-Nelo Yorb
Herald.
It's not always the little things that
tell. Sometimes it's her big brother..--
81. Joseph Ne'Os.
Painters are not of a military turn
generally, yet they stand by their colors.
Teas SytingS.
The way-station master always has an
unAOgging interest in through trains
Washington Star.
Hotel Porter-''Art you guest of the
housel" Mr.. Gruff-"No; I'm paying
for what l getW-Pucb.
"Yor wife seems vexed." "Yes.
She went out to match some ribbon and
found it at the first store. Life.
When a dressmaker doesn't give her
customers fits, the customers give the
dressmaker fits.-LouisUile Journal
The difficulty in this cold world is
that too many fellows want to stand with
their backs to the fire. -BradtordRe record.
"Men need moral courage more than
they do higher foreheads. D." This is true.
Cows have high foreheads. Chicago
Ne'os.
Johnny is a smart boy. When he was
asked to define moustache he instantly
replied, "It's bang on the mouth. -
Epoch.
The faults of our neighbors would be
less conspicuous if our own virtues
were not quite so glariug -NilCaukee
Sentinel.
Don't laugh at your wife when she
tries to stone the hens. She may ask
you to help her stone the raisins.-El-
mira Gazette.
There is a good deal of speculation
about astronomical studies, but the
astronomer seldom gets rich out of it.
BiaghamtoR Republican.
Auntie-"Johunv, you never hear
your papa use such language "No;
and | take mighty good care that he
doesn't hear me. '-Hayper's B1zqr.
His name we never see, although
In print he has n mighty mission;
For he's the dark mysterious
"Well-informed politician"
Judge.
Fecblewitte deems it an exemplifica-
ton OF the fitness of things that love
which is without bounds should make Of
life never-ending spring.-Detrot Free
Press.
~ see that quite number OF our
younger yerse-writers have taken to
writing their songs in antique English. "
"That is quite an appropriate setting to
their ideas
Caller-'Aud this IS the new babyW
Fond Mother-"Isn't he splcndidN
Callcr-''Yes, indeed" Fond Mother
"And SO bright. See how iutelligently
he Lreathes. - Chicago Nstcs.
How hard it is, in these unhappy days.
To keep beyond the line of Falsehoods
spell,
Since cen a proverb, old and hallowei says.
That Truth lies-at the bottom Of awell.
Life.
Editors "Sanctorum, YOU look
disgusted; anything gone wrong!' Edi-
tor-"Yes; missed the mail, and my
typewriter is sick" Editors Wife
"Too bad to miss male and female the
same dayw-Arg9sy.
Priest-'Weu, Dennis, you're mar
ried, hear. I'm very glad of it,. How
do you and your wife get along to-
gether" Denuis-"Well, yer rivereucc,
Oi t'ink we get along besht togither
whin we're apart. .'-BJst0A C0uri1'.
'Tis folly 10 spend life boarding up gold
with intention from commerce 60 lock il;
For, as wise men remarked in the past we
are told,
NJ shroud was eer made with a pocket
-NaCaukea SeatiHe'. -
"Looz, Adolph. Your tailor's sitting
over there" "Dou't attract his atteu.
ton "Ain't you getting on well TO-.
gether" "Yes, but | don't want 70 en-,
barrass him. lie owes me rrceipted bills
for two suits OF clothes. n- aytHdc
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