Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-05-31
HYPOTHETICAL WOMAN
Gertrude Gaiety Reveals Her Hid
den Aeanessss.
In Church Asd Society, Hat Behind the
Curtains az Home She 10 Marrow, Sell
fsh, TyrAnnieaI aud HAtsfui-How
MANY such In Grand Rapids.

Much has been written and said of
the hypocrltical church member OF the
masculine persuasion. The hypocrlti-
cal fair one has generally escaped erIti-
cism, but like the yenturesome miller
which hoyers about the fire she is sure
to be caught some day. Her religious
cloak, like the dirty miller's garb. does
not wear any too well and . little fric-
ton is apt To leave it threadbare. SUI
periicisl Christianity. when exhibited
by woman is so interviewer with her
daily habits that she soon ceases TO rec
ognize the false from the true. Very
often 1t Is apparent she has worn the
cloak of Christianity until IT fits her SUI
perbly and almost seems part of her
being. she Is pious, she Is meek, she is
| lowly. She initiates the gentle NaZa-
| rene in outward seeming and her we'll
| organized charities bespeak her wo-
man of deeds. Public hospitals reap
| substantial benefits from her well
! filled Golfers II the occasional
lists of donors as published by the
newspapers may be used as an index.
she IL Is who works indefatigably Tor
| charity balls, church suppers and fairs
| and all the various skin games sane
| toned by custom and the church. Her
| tides, aprons and general fancy work
| bring good prices at church sales be-
| cause she has no real Conscientious
scruples about charging most exorbl-
| tant sum for them. She will wheedle 4
| foolish man out of his last cent giving
therefor articles worth about one quar-
ter the amount asked and received.
She gracefully drifts into the ways of
the street fakIr and readily dlsposes of
| whatever spurious goods come her
| way.
The Domestic Is Overlooked.
She does not even spare the dollar
and-a-half-per-week domestic IN her
public game of finn fam but takes
| Budgets last shekel without 4 sus-
| picion of regret for the girl who Will
have to walk home alone with her
worthless bundle passing COM
Portable and uncomfortable street
car and carryall on the way.
She does it all for the church.
you know, and 1t is quite right to cheat
and overcharge for the church. Her
deft fingers can arrange most myster-
ious fish pond filled with stale unpro-
fitable mlnnOws and the suckers stand
about its borders waiting like Mariana
| for something which never comes.
| Then these same fingers can arrange
| decoctlon which for economy IN the
| making can distance the lonely
| lemonade of the circus vender. 1t is
cheap to make but it Is most expensive
| to drink. She tells you 1t is tea other
wise you might think it the dyspeptic' S
| panacea-hot water. She wneedles the
| public generally In ways which are
| familiar to all and need not explicit
recital here. Then she exhibits christian
| zeal in other directions. She coddles
the minister's children, all the time
hating them from the depths of
her heart, but she coddles and
pets them just the same for
it places her on pleasant
footing with the clergyman and his
wife. She is the light of the hospital
| ward and her flowers bring sweet IN
cense TO the weary cot occupant. Her
jellles and delicacies refresh and COM
fort, and her hand soothes the pain
racked brow. All this where it Will
bring her renown.
Vain Glory Her Incentive.
how different. A sick servant is bundled
off TO desolate and poverty stricken
home without ceremony. Her children
are left to the too often harsh care OF
hired motherhood. Her husband, weary
and Ill with day of unusual toll, finds
no gentle hand upon his brow when he
returns home. she feels that he IS n
most ungracious creature TO be subject
to pam and worry when he should be
strong and well. Unless his ailment be-
comes serious, she looks upon 1t as a
personal atfront and will not crafty
him by panderlng to his whlms. She is
incxorable in her household and her
servants are ablect slaves. She
fails to remember that they are
creatures OF flesh and blood, but con-
| siders them tireless automatic machines
which should be always running with
out let or hiDdrance. She IS regular at
| church services and seldom, misses the
weekly prayer meeting or religious lee
ture. She drops on her knees IN the
| pew and mumbles her prayer with de-
corous outward seeming, but the prayer
she clasps tightly in her prayer-book
until effective occasion again unloosens
~ She meets with the various church
societies. and there where benevolent
work and malevolent words are inter-
mingled, this woman of Satan crowns
herself with coilIng serpents. She is
the acknowledged leader. and as such
she constitutes herself a pltiless Judge
for all that portion of the feminine
world which comes within her ken
What is the future of young innocent
girl 10 her. and why does not foul
SANDER choke her in the utterance?
The Lord saw and Pitied
Perhaps the Lord saw and pitied
womsn's mIschievous weakness, spar
ing her only because he desired not an
unpeopled world. 30 the noNous
creature lives and moves about IN her
circle, and the bitter words which drop
so osrelessly from her lips scorch and
wlther whatever humanity they touch.
Yet this woman is = sworn worker in
the vineyard OF the Lord. Her hands
work fer charity while her wsnton
tongue creates misery. I'm the garb
aud work of a Christian she engages in
the foulest of occupstions--thst OF
blsckenng the characters of scores OF
respectable women. IL natter not 20
her whether her assertions he true
or false she loves 10 talk and
~ "a and kaHrAfra a