New-York tribune., 1891-10-18
PRETTY SIMPLETONS.
WHICH DO MEN MARRY?
,rom The london Spectator.


billy which distinguished Miss Austen's time,
and With it the fear OF the pretty woman OF
president OF the Women's Progressive society, at
the end Of most sensible, and indeed able, letter
advising girls what to do II they find life too
monotonous, published in The Daily News Of
Tuesday, thinks IL necessary TO remind them and
their mothers that young women OF brains and
energy TO use them do get married. We hear, TOO,
on many sides that the old dr.ad which thirty
years since so greatly checked the progress OF
womens education has again revived, and That
wave OF opinion is warning mothers and young
women that culture makes the latter TOO forlnid,,
able" to young men, and that the clever ones
miss the most natural and most fitting OF womens
careers. They get appointments sometimes. pr. i.
they never get proposals. We believe that the
facts are msrepresented and that the fear, whicn
| If well founded would rightly check education, Is
almost entirely without foundation. Having
watched the movement in favor OF female educa-
| ton from the beginning with entire lmpartlalty.
that is with a keen dislike for the advanceo
women who want as Mr.. Frederick Harrison ssys'
tn he abortive men, to VOTE and TO ride astrad-
| de and 10 discuss The kreutzer Sonata, ano
strong sympathy for the women who desire caieaie, ~
and gainfu work, and control OF their own lnonss
we think we may say confidently that 20
| the latter their grand profession, maIrlasJ,
in no way debarred. Attractions Tor atuacev!S, n!S
sisters They are firted with less. partly because
very young men demand in those tney mr. VIZ. M.n
certain amount of Stiffness. so uiat III III IN IN
| there may be no demand on the lh,eneco. az. .
| partly because of a fault of manner OF wnlcn we
| speak below but they receive Just as many ~ ~S.
proposals The men who can marry, ana s.,. WIZ nv~
adays are usually thrtythree-a social mlsioieuie,
owing mainly to the late period at wnlcn 'ns
successful now retire from active llfe-ate men y.
certain experience ana oy no means IN the fool
| ish or the wise virgins and are carIieo a"9y ~
unusual beauty as they were in The days OF heien,
and will he when the world cools; but tney are
quite conscious of the advantage possessed Dy sne
| sensible and the cultivated. They know Wnas
terrible bores ignorant girls can De-We no ~. hos
| mean by Ignorance" mere want OF faImilaiiV
,yith Iearninp-how utterly unreasonable they
| often are and. and how much more naoie .neY
are in middle life TO grow acrid snapp,sn nrIsrs os
as the woman without intellectual interests whose
situation happens TO be at variance ,is ".n
her a1 is conscious Of the faint contempt
Women are perfectly well aware when men listen
| whom that lot falls grow as bitter as some :, ds.
appointed spinsters: The men OF thiryssniMse LITE
niavs In married life, how it deepens affection.
| and how difficult it is to feel friendship ior
woman whose early charm has passed, VINO zoe zoe
| NOT unde Ktand one word in six you say, ana VINO
| can neither sympathize with failure nor unoer-
| stand why you have succeeded. Camaraderie;
one of the most delightful oil All the Don," S ,Ss p
siIIV Snv' The men. too, are aware that it is the
clever girls not the simpletons, who are Iree
the a S sss obes wScS are not exactly
| vices the most permanently irritating IN wives
That thing at least culture has done for the MAJOR
| lty OF cultured WOmefl, l1 ndS touSHo WV.
! the Nina" of Mr. Norriss clever story, Matri-
| mony," the competent and cultured woman 70
| whose selfshness expenditure seems a necessity,
| and who is only not extravagant when she has
| six thousand q year, who will plunder her fatber
without remorse. and keep her mo,net i,ia,eS
| Girls are economical Frugality Is their road 10
| Independence They could not live their lives
they cost their fathers & tOS me to avod add debt With
horror. and 20 see that discount is allowed them il
| they pay ready-money. They are NOT perhaps, oe,
| voted 70 housekeeping some OF the unlettered
are meaning. three times out of five. endless and
| harassing Interference with their Servants: Duo
they can keep house, when they know their Tn IN
! comes at an outlay we'll within them The
| men understand that by kind OF instinct. our
system of courtship allowing little chance OF real
| knowedge-the American system does, ana the
| Canadian-and they know, too another tnlns
which appeals still directly to their sel-love
| They know what il is 10 be bored There Is no
bore earth equal to the woman VINO can IN
common with her husband. who thinks ms trlends
| satirical because they attend 10 her with falnt
| sense of amused amazement, and who gathers
| ronnd her all women except those whose intell.
| gence relieves life of its monotony ana stise vi
| strain We should add that the men we are are
| sneakinp of are aware also that Of the two, fhe
| educated are the more affectionate. hut thai VIC
| know this might he subject OF endless arsu, I'LL
ment Thousancs OF men, otherwiSe nearly I'm ~
| stunidity in sisters mothers had been COM
patible with deep affection, and forgetting rlaa,
| between husband anu Nllt,
70 a seif-sacrfcing regard. more especially when
the man is, so many men are; OF tne ra,ner ar
trying sort. Carlyle is the only man we We. can
| think of whose inmost life il is not an 1mper,l,,
nence TO quote. and no stupid woman coula
have loved Carlyle for s three weeks aT .. az
| all events uncultured woman, VINO tried 20
love Sheey-of course a most eAs,eIie ~, ~,
| instance moths and stars being separated ny II
resstible fiat-made horrid mess of the business.
| This is not a society" paper, and we snali nos
be guilty Of the vugarlty OF adducing 'ie h;rt,,
instances known to all men III !"e of tbe world
! nave fallen 20 the women with cultivated pIains
| though we suppose we may mention thae ln 'nS
most striking instance Of modern Ire, tne rise vi
| Wademosellc de Montijo, her beauty was not ner
only charm-the Empress never could speu , Ie10;
but her letters are as good as any oui LA Ie dv Who
! Madame Mohs-but we think any 9lu Iauy WV WV
| ramemhers society would give evidence OF the
| fact. Nothing can compensate WIN most i aeS
ers" as Mrs. Ophant calls men VINO are seenins
| wives for decided meanness or insignlhcance Oh
| appearance unredeemed even by eyes OF pearlns,'
| but apart from that and from the intense sell
| absorption which study induces IN some women
| n misdirection of the habit of concentratlon-the
| reason for the dread Of neglect by men no" once
| again expressed by mothers is, we DelieFe 70 os
| explained without much difficulty. lhe girls OF
cnirnre are too frank of speech, contradict men.
| unless much and visibly their elders, TOO oiten
and too blunty, and are therefore condemned as
| Formidable This habit, for IL is nothing worse,
does not proceed in them, as 1t does IN most men'
from either arrogance, or temper, or want OF SELF
| control for they do not display lt Jo"dEu WVuchs
even when intellectually their interiors. IL pro-
| ceeds from delight in intellectual lndepenoence,
from an unexpected sense of mental equality whlcn
| must be made audible even in tete-a-tete, to be
thoroughly enjoyed. The girl does not want to be
rude. or snubbing. or even pert, Dut only 10 10
separate 10 say her own saying and think her own
Thought, and avoid being merged, as we once
heard il expressed in any way whatever, can
think for myself she feels, ana hke doing ~,
and she contradicts ,attery in order TO make her
self quite certain. You will see son do 1t 70 hs
father or a clever lad 10 his tutor from precisely
the same motive; but men who are on an equality
rather avoid it, striving rather TO differ utterly
under cover Of some formula Of assent, and
dsliking the Ilazlitt way-he used I" c9ntraaict
everybody. even the watchman when calling the
hour-and they dislike it in women most particu-
lAla III Ia d IL