The record-union., 1891-06-13
AMONG THE STOCKTONlANS.
Pilgrim Hofman's Researches in the
Slough City.
Some of the Wonderful Sights and Peo.
pie He Saw There-ReIics of
the Dead Past.

INC SIreeIS OF Lne SiOuBn Olty, IdhlHS III
the sights, seeing the fashions and dodg-
ing the police.
Stockton has some very wonderful
sights, and very efficient police force.
Like the police of Red Bluff, they follow
me continually to see that no blood
thirsty thug who has no respect for
mental qualities shall dare to lay his
sand-bag or his-rock-in-an-old-so
across my thinker and create cerebral
disturbance just when / am in the throes
OF a great effort. It is very disagreeable
to be disturbed when one is in the throes.
1t has happened once or twice to me, and
in each case the world-and especially the
part of it represented by the thug-was
disappointed.
Stockton is not good place for men
with great heads The people Of this city
do not go into spasms of admiration over
stranger who has high and majestic
think-tank. Broad and intellectual
alabaster brows, with stern eyes, and a
daredevil, cuSS-word cast of circumference,
are rather below par in Stockton, because
Stockton Is very hotbed of intellectu-
ality, and great heads are as numerous as
the flowers that bloom in the spring.
EruditiOn just StewS out of the people
here, and knowledge is absorbed easily.
If you should ask me now what is
THE MOST POPULAR FAD
In Stockton, / should reply: Stockton"
The people are in love with their own
city, and very good thing it is to love.
Like true woman, who, the more she
is petted and loved and careSsed, becomes
infinitely more true and reliable, so has
Stockton more than repaid the people for
the pains they have taken to dress her up
and keep her clothed in her best bib and
tucker.
Keeping the city dressed up all of the
time may be little expensive, but it
saves a wonderful lot of trouble when
high-tOned company calls unexpectedly
and the city must exhibit herself. Again,
it really saves time and money to the
people who love the city, and throws the
light of enterprise and thrift upon the
place. If / ever own q city-and l may
initiate Sam'l o. Posen some day
l shall certainly keep it dressed up in the
best rags to be found in the country. 1t
is the only way in which man can get
back his money after investing it in a
city.
At present the people of Stockton are
undergoing general scrubbing. The
numerous gas wells here furnish an
abundance Of water already heated to So
Fahrenheit, and this hot water is con-
Quoted to huge tanks, in which one may
Stockton air, but shuttle off the mortal
coil if he feels like it. Nobody has been
missed as yet, but | am waiting for the
sad news TO arrive.
IF CLEANLINESS Is NEXT TO GOODNESS.
The people of Stockton will all go to
Heaven. Saint Peter will not dare to
challenge population that has under
gone boiling process in order to walk
through the pearly gates in presentable
Flna Fg,,. I'll
gas wells is decidedly mineral, and pos
sesses flavor like the odor of stale eggs.
l came out of d tank few DAYS ago with
my hair delightfully."- red, and my nose
looking like carrot that had been in the
market for two hot summer days. This
was the effect Of iron in the water.
There viii not be many Stoclktonians
at Monterey and Santa Cruz this sum-
mer. Hereafter those who feel that dis
infection is necessary will patroniZe
home industry, and those who leave the
city for the outing season will trough it"
in the mountains.
Although Stockton has been growing
rapidly of late, and has a great future
etc, there are still a few of the
OLD LAND AND wATER-MARKs
That once outlined the boundaries of the
infant city. The old buildings are rather
scarce, but along the banks of the slough,
half sunken in the mud, are several old
huIkS that were once of no mean impor-
tance to the people, who saw them come
and go with a lively interest. Old relics,
which bring back almost forgotten hap
penings TO the minds of the old-timers
here, are not very abundant, but there is
enough OF them TO serve a reminiscent
purpose. AS usual, the most prominent
OF the old relics are those which suggest a
bygone disregard for law ON one side and
a stubborn adherence TO it on the other
Rusty handouts, that We're secured to the
wrists with riVets and could not be re-
moved without a cold chiSel or a file, OK
idized knives and pistols and other "j49er
jewelry," perfectly useless for anything
but the interior of a cabinet, are occasion
ally found. Recently two old cannons.
used away back were dug up near the
channel, and the authorities on such mat
ters have been disputing about them
since, without deciding where they came
from or who abandoned them.
APRoPoS OF RELICS.
Sheriff Cunningham has in his office
one of the most cheerful collections of
lawbreaking implements / ever saw.
When 1 get particularly blue I go and
stand IN front of it with my hat off, and
muse until | am thoroughly exhilarated
The cabinet in which these treasures of
the Sheriff are stored is a large one, and
1t is full to overtiowing with all sorts OF
knlckknacks. bearing inscriptions which
inform the spectator in a vivacious way
that they have been used with effect The
piece of glass with which Fred Graves
committed suicide, and which Is covered
with his gore, is grave subject for con-
temptation. Then there is the knife
with which Wilson cut Kennedy: the
knife that killed John Griffin; the knife
that killed silversmith: the knuckles
used by a San Francisco hoodlum; the
knife used on Hughes; the pistol with
which Q. @. Langman was shot; the
pistol with which Arthur McKowan
killed HIMSELF the coat of mail worn by
George Cox; knots from the ropes that
hung French, Martin and others; a skull
dug up in the street; shotguns used by
stage robbers; burglars tools; counter
1eiter's outfits, and a hundred other little
bits of rare, quaint and curious criminal
virtu-enough to make the most somber
old sinner in the land revert lovingly to
the achievements of his youth.
SOMETHING MORE CHEERFUL.
While rambling around over the city ]
ran across an old graveyard, forsaken
apparently forgotten silent city," where
the weeds have held undisputed sway fol
years, and desolation has dead cinch or
every grave.
In this old cemetery there is only one
tombstone, standing in a corner The
rest have been knocked over and dragged
away by the champion pitchers and
CALCULUS VI tllC luIule, WHO were IN neeC
OF 4 baseball ground near the center o
the city. The diamond is laid out in the
middle of the cemetery, and the small
boy, who never fails TO bring into har-
nonious contact all the materials at his
disposal, has used q tombstone for the
home plate.
6R u ID !