St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-04-20

The IOEAOF MARRIAGE
What Some Men Think Of the
Economy OF Matri-
mony.
A Club Mans Idea and a
Doctors Expert
Views.
Why One Bachelor Is Content
to Remain as He
Is.
Don't Know Enough OF Love
but Too Much OF Mar
rage.

so l started out on Journey of discOv-
cry, seeking for knowledge from wise
men. l do not think that women are
capable of deciding this question, for
eacl one is certain to Judge from her
own standpoint, and that alone. and so
she cannot be said to look at the Ques-
ton in an unprecedented way.
4 Club Man Oh Marriage.
The first man met is man of clubs.
/ looked at him and L said, Mr.. Bach
elor, is marriage failure?" and he said,
Mistress Bah, l will answer you just
as l did man at my club the other
night, who propounded the same ques-
ton. | said, Look around this room.
crowded with men; three-quarterS
of them are married ones; now,
either the wife is gone her way
and the husband his, or the
woman is at home lonely; and in any
event there is something wrong. If
everything was right the married man
would be at home. satisfied there and
happy with his wife," He gave his
hat most beautiful tilt, smiled sweetly
at me, and left me impressed with his
great knowledge of the world.
A Doctors View of NEatrimOny.
The next man whose fate it was to
meet my question was q doctor. Said
he: Marriage a failure? No, it isn't
a failure when the man gets the right
sort of W0man-and that woman is best
described as combination of the ideal
makes perfect wife. But how many
men find her? Usually, as Balzac said
long ago, we goround the world looking
for this woman. We want ITO find
combination of comrade and wife i'll one
volume, but we seldom succeed. We
have to choose two, and the world
frowns at that"
The Ideas Of Il Bachelor.
The next man | asked had thought it
all out, had seen it from both sides, and
had concluded that the holy state OF
matrimony was one i'll which he did not
wish to enter, and these were his rea-
sons: "A man and woman get mar
ried. expect to be together 1865 days IN
the year, and never take the trouble TO
find out whether they are calculated to
know whether the woman can control
her temper when he loses his. and vice
versa, and they grow desperately weary
Of each other. a man has a right to
claim in marriage all that friendship
would give him and great deal more.
Nine times out of ten he gets a thought
less affection and 70 consideration"
Then | answered here: Yes, but
A Woman Has Some Claims.
"She has right to all that lover
would give, to the consideration Of a
brother and certain amount Of pater
nal care. | am not inclined to excuse
women, for think that while men may
commit ali the crimes of the decalogue,
woman can nag man into fury that
could not be surpassed by raging lion.
l think, too, il women were more wives
and less mothers, marriage wouldn't so
me about this, for | am devout be-
lever in babies, and don't think that a
married woman has any right to shirll
either the joys or pains of motherhood;
but too often the interest of the babies
are thought of first; the husband is neg
lected, or, at most, counted as a neceS-
sary evil. Women are undoubtedly
creatures of habit, and once they drift
into that dangerous sea of thOughtleSS-
ness they are very apt to let the little
bark marked 'husband' drift away, and
very often it cannot be lured back"
The Secret Of Marriage.
Eyes," said the man, "a long time
ago a clever sOmebody-a French wo-
man-Said that when passion and habit
lie in company too long, habit wakens
up to find that its companion has fed.
Personally | think that the average
woman sees too much of her husband;
next, that she doesn't have q sufficient
number of outside things to interest
him. She can't understand this, for she
knows that he found her interesting be-
fore she was married, and she doesn't
realize that being away from the people
he is among, reading books and seeing
plays he doesn't see will give her
no end of bright topics, and will
make her talk well and interesting to
him. For my own part, as a man. be-
lieve that | agree with DiSraeli, who
said that the perfect friendship between
a man and woman consisted in their
going in different sets. meeting at IL
O'Clock over bit OF supper, and dis
cusSing all they had seen rs solution
OF the secret of marriage"
DO Widows Make the Best yyivesa
But to return to matrimony- which
great many people do when they have
once tried it, The English arguists
maintain that the happiest mar
riages have resulted from men marrying
widows. There's a good bit of reason in
this. The woman who has had one hus-
band has discovered the proper study of
wOmankind iS-man; and experience
has taught her how to make life
smoother, just as matrimony has taught
her restraint. She doesn't do as she did
at first. She doesn't bother a mans life
out of him by asking him if she is the
first woman he ever loved, nor does she
bring wrinkles on her own face by fret
ting over unknown rivals. She is SEN
Sible enough to conclude that he has
probably loved great many women,
while she is positively certain that he
must have loved her best, else he
wouldn't have asked her to be his wife.
On her wedding ring is an unseen gem
-eXperience-and she uses it to make
light the paths of married life, so that
there will not come over it a shadow of
discomfort.
why Some Men Don't Marry.
Zone reason why men don't marry,
especially in large cities, is because a
bachelor with moderate income can
enjoy the theaters, the races, the little
suppeTs and dinners, his club, his purple
Married, that income would have to be
divided by two, and within six months
marriage would be failure" That
was another mans opinion. For myself,
Just gasped. They all knew so much.
l thought a little about love; 1
thought a little about Verona and
Romeo and Juliet, and then it
dawned on me that if the ar
dent Romeo had welded his beloved
one, perhaps their marriage might have
been a success. because house rents
were not high in the old Italian town:
people didn't wear the same expensive
lingerie that they do nowadays. Romeo
probably didn't require the best brandy,
and Juliet wouldn't have wanted Worth
to have made her frocks. We like to
read, write and talk about the ennobling
influence of poverty. 1t may be en-
nobling when you go around with
basket begging, or when you sell lead
pencils on the street; but l defy any