The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1891-11-12
WIT AND HUMOR.

widows in clover than in weeds. -Elnatra
Gazette.
1t seems hard 10 believe that short
man is well brought up. = HOeEers
Statesman.
Saxony imposes tax on cats. This
is something new in the fee line
Los0eU Courier.
Too many silly young couples drive
into matrimony with blind bridal
Washington Star.
DIR. Bridgman has deserted the
Baptists." Yes; he's got out OF the
wet at last. "-Puck
The telephone girl may be frivolous,
but everything she says goes Union
County Standard.
1T is when straws are made up into
hats that they show which way the
wind blows.-LJe
You can't tell how much religion
people have by the size of their family
Bible. RAMS Horn.
Mr.. McGinty and the oysters are
having pleasant time together about
now. = Washington Star.
A kind husband will eat little of his
young wife's first bread if it kills him
outrig ht. Galveston Nea0s.
It was, perhaps, of the ostrich plume
that the expression lin high feather"
was first used. Washington Post.
The excuse of every man who does
not mind his own business is that he is
trying to do good. -Atchdsora Globe.
1t doesn't seem to have occurred to
the essayists ia abstract topics that
womans fear is mouse Washington
Post.
One reason why some people are not
SO wicked as others is because they
haven't had SO good chance. RAMS
Horn.
When a man feels that his pores need
opening he will find little sage tea to
be a wise decoctiOn. - BinghGHat071
Leader.
The stores in which machines that
tell your age are displayed have very
few women customers. PbtIGGelphg0
Record.
"These are Jewels of my own set
ting" quoth the speckled hen, as she
gathered her chickens about her
Bufat0 Enquirer.
Your wife is in the country on her
vacation is she not?" my vacation,
you mean" answered the man.-In-
djaDapoJjS Journal.
20. yes, there's skeleton in the
closet in every family, but it is so COM
mon thing that we make no bones of
it.-Boston Transcript.
Jeanne = Gus takes life easily,
doesn't heP' janet always sup
posed he did. till he tried to talk me to
death last night. "-Pucb
St. Peter mo, you can't come in"
Shade of Kid-'Aw, say, don't be too
rough on a feller, WIZ an office boy
myself. IN Z. Herald.
What did the ass say to Balaam,
Willie?" Come off. why do you
think thatP" Because he knew
Balaam was onto him. "-Puck
What do you sell pound of tobac-
co forPn Cash" was the laconic
answer. How much for poundP'
Sixteen ounces. Philadelphia Times.
so your husband is dead. What
did he leave youP" Il haven't in
quired. I am perfectly satisfied so
long rs he has left me. life.
Shell don't believe in long en-
gagements. do your" He-''No; peo-
pie are apt to find out too many things
about each other. "-BoSto'a Nea0S.
college education? Pshaw! What
good did it ever do young Cukerp"
Lots of good! Why, every ball team
in the country is after him!''-Bostos
Nea0S.
If it it is really true that those whom
the gods love die young, it wouldn't
be bad idea for the gods to increase
their list of spontaneously Y. Re-
cOrder.
Cora-"You never played baseball,
did you, JakeP" Jake-"O, yes"
Cora (yawning) = We'll, of course
you never made home run. IN. Y.
Herald.
did you speak to me when you
asked for the Billy Fair?n inquired the
blonde waiter. mo l didn't MENU"
replied the saucy maiden. Binghanaton
Republican.
Talk about the worldly ignorance of
girls! Why, they can no a man so
thoroughly in a week that he will want
to 60 and hire Sheriff to hang him.
Washington Star.
She-"O, yes! I quite believe there's
fool in every family. Don't. you?''
He-"Well-er-my opinions rather
/ biased. You see, I'm the only member
of our family. "-Judu.
Shells it better to have loved and
lost than never to have loved at all. !"
He-'Yes. 1t is better for the florist,
for the jewelers., and sometimes even
for the lawyers. "-Hdrper's Bazaar.
"Yes, sir,n said the old gentleman to
his son, IF you want to make money
study for the legal profession. Don't
forget the old-time motto The laws
and the profits. ~ Washington Post.
How were things where you came
from?n said one business man to his