The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Some of the Wild Ways of Go Ahead
,Journalism.

Journalism.
Last December, when we had completed
the repairs TO the picket fence surrounding
cur private graveyard and counted up the
graves, we announced our earnest hope
that the number would never exceed nine.
We never really wanted To Kill any one of
the batch, much preferring to live at peace
with all mankind, but it was case of
"shoot first or go UNDER in each and every
instance, and it became our duty TO shoot.
Everybody knows we have done the
square thing when compelled TO outfit
man for the far off country. We have
bought collins, furnished shrouds, got up
funeral professions and planted the immi-
grant on our own private lot, where ms
head board would not be taken by the cow
boys for eucher table nor his bones become
the prey of the coyotes. 1t Is needless TO
add that we shall continue to pursue this
liberal policy in the future, while the SUD
scription price OF the Kicker Will still re-
main at two dollars per year.
As stated at the beginning. we hoped to
keep the number down 10 nine, but cir
cumstances over which we had no control
erected q tenth headboard the other day.
In writing up Colonel WOodhouse's new
ranch two weeks ago we jocularly referred
10 a cowboy as ''Cockeyed Bill" 1t seems
that his proper title IS "Squinteyed Will
ian, - and he took offense at our license.
We have invariably noticed that when we
attempt anything jocular somebody dies
before the month expires. and we shall now
swear off.
Bright and early Monday morning the
gentleman with the imperfect optics opened
the front door Of our Office with "A great
deal of useless energy, and before we could
give him &. q. II. rates on half column
adj. he began banging away ~ Us We
knew, from the way his first bullet chawed
its way through the straw hat we wear in
the Office that he meant business, and we
didn't allow any vision Of the dear old
home back in New England, with mother
standing in the door, stop US from getting
ready to return his courtesies.
William shot the hands eft our Office
clock, split the ear Of the Cbinaman who
turns the crank Of our power press and
blasted the peaceful life Of q yal!er cat
which we paid i've dollars for in Tucson; but
when the cannonadc had ceased William
had gone down the long. dark trail TO joia
his forefathers. We were, Of course. prompt
is acquitted before the coroner's jury, AID
got thirteen vehicles out 20 Williams fu-
neral
All our readers will bear witness TO the
fact that we have exercised the creates:
patience IN bearing the slurS and taunts Of
our esteemed weekly contemporary. On
three different occasions We would have
been perfectly justified IN killing him. bat
We restrained our hand because We knew
1 -. -
they would lose u he went under grcund-
We long ago decided 70 pay no further az
teution 20 him, 10 matter what he sz.i;
but there was al item 10 his last jssue
which calls for word OF two % expIans-
ton from Us
Our Top cared. Top shoulderss1. knox
kneed. slab sided, rarnshsekie. bad be~ded.
poverty stricken, cross cred. web feotei.
,oothless old coutsrn porary. with 60 aver
age circulation os 81 corszs weekly aarxznst
our tens Q. thousands s=se our sworn state
rnentsJ. szys that we were oosShia,ei II oor
own sanctum three oars ago by LADY,
NAMED Miss G-een. WHO b fnussc teacher
lately arrived from IaS4zaA
Hls statement - az fnsrl, % a yoang.
be&utitu. and accomplished lady. who ~zs
a. onoe accorded The entrsy u the tseN.
socisty in the town, aad wso e.n.e hss.
viii letters q TIE ksEa>s. rec01rnezca~
ton from reapectAole pesp<
Mr. CresEl called a: The Kicker ofscs II
the rsso$. szzlsbss E2ooa aad win tie rnoz.
S>zzesfzl insea1sOtax- she simply and sxsst-
~ desired us % y,gbl1ka Cl-e - her original
pens entitled " 1en shs liens Eszg Nests
Again, ssd we were thrice glad - do 90.
Il appears on car laird page todsy. and xs
feel TIA. We eznEOt Eay to- E4zSA II praise
o. s.
IAEs do VIC oc1found, parzlyE>. Hpae;.
break lr tro and knock OUT TIC EstnAa
hyslsA whose ssTretul aoal would bLAek
car pirate character he.1sr fAls cg=zmoas-
~. add Eita = TIA Lar reputation II a.
a2ss. II tsa.A.s e.e.SeA Hs.sS 60 - xx-