The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-01-27
HELPING OUT NATURE.
ALL PARTS OF THE BODY SUP
Piled EXCEPT VITAL ORGANS.

Science Stops at Nothing.
lost finger in haycutter or an arm in
leg cut off, or lost his hair or teeth, he
was forced to go without the item thus
deducted from his sum total for the rest
of his mortal life. 1t is hard to credit
the amount of patching up that may
now be accomplished by the advanced
processes and inventions of these days.
Suppose that man has lost all four
limbs, his hair, his eyes, his nose, all his
teeth and portion of his palate, and
that he has fractured skull and tuber-
cles on his lungs. The gentleman may
also be covered with the pits of an early
case of smallpox and may have been pre-
sented at his birth with large mole on
his cheek.
First, of course, he will have his head
trepanned by some skillful surgeon, and
when he has had the tubercles removed
from his lungs by specialist in pull
monary diseases and has recovered from
the exhausting effects of these two opera
tions he will be in a proper state to have
his eyes attended to. A rabbit is select
ed whose optics are of color becoming
to the subject, and one of them is trans
planted by means of transference. OF
course he could hardly expect to have
both eyes successfully supplied in this
way, but supposing he has good luck and
one grows satisfactorily, the other socket,
for the sake Of beauty and symmetry,
will be filed by one of the glass eyes
now manufactured to such perfection.
GETTING LIMBS, ETC.
His next proceeding will be to call in
maker of artificial limbs and be meas
ured for a full suit of arms and legs.
If the patient is fortunate enough to
have one arm down to the wrist, he will
be supplied with a hand with which he
can manage to write a little and feed
himself quite perfectly. His lower limbs
will convey him from place to place, not
very gracefully, to be sure, but still as
well as many merely lame legs convey
their owners, and which, sitting or rest
ing, will present, perhaps, a more SYM
metrical appearance than the originals
they have succeeded.
The once total wreck is still bald,
toothless and disfgured with pock-
marks and mole. An artificial set of
teeth, quite as good as the original arti-
Gle and incapable of aching, will be sup
piled by any good dentist, and the miss
ing portion of the palate also will be
furnished. Then the hair would nat
urally be his next thought.
He may have hair or portions of scalp
transplanted to the uncovered cranium
But this is a long and painful process,
80 we will suppose that the subject con-
tents himself with a wig. Fortunately
In these days wigs are made which are
entirely deceptive, and so far as appear
ance goes look quite as well as natures
own production. The writer of these
lines has shared a room with the wearer
OF such wig for several days and was
notaware that his companions Hyperion
locks were not the proper growth of the
head they adorned until in a burst of
confidence the truth was revealed.
HOW THE VICTIM MAY APPEAR,
. The beauty seeker next goes to that
artist of recent growth, the ''dermatol-
ogist," who first destroys his mole by
,..electrosis" and then gets to work on
the pockmarks. These are smoothed by
disintegrating process, which loosens
mp the fbrous structure of the scars and
smooths down the whole face by a sort
of planning method.
nose, certainly most important lack in
q human countenance. This feature
may now be supplied by surgery by
transplanting fold of flesh from some
living arm, which is held near the face
to be repaired until a portion of the fold
has grown fast in its new situation, and
then is wholly separated from the arm
and forms fairly satisfactory nasal ap-
pendage.
Here the former human wreck may
walk about the streets or call upon his
feminine acquaintance quite capable of
appreciatiug their charms, for he has
one available eye. He may smile also,
for his molars and incisors are now
plentiful and of pearly whiteness, and
though his nose may be trife pudding
like and lack Grecian symmetry of line,
his delicate complexion and luxuriant
hair largely compensate for this trihing
defect.
He will never, of course, be salts
factory partner in the waltz, but his dig
nified repose and symmetrical limbs
must make him an ornament to the re-
ception and conversazione.
Thus while the vital organs remain
within the trunk and the gray matter of
the brain is intact a man need not de-
spair, and surgeons believe that we may
soon expect to see the i'll furnished
Uranium supplied with such qualities as
it lacks, and poets, painters, inventors
and philosophers manufactured out of
the raw material of the idiot ward and
the stage door contingent. York
World.
Pay in the United States Navy.
Ordinary seamen get $40 month;
seamen get $24. Boys get $40; appren-
tices, third class, 50; second class, SO;
first class S11 a month. seaman annren-