The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-03-19
Joke AGAINsT JOKE

JOKE AGAINST JOKE
"Just before lett the road for good
and all, y said a dry goods merchant in
the Merchants Club recently, 81 had
one comical experience that shall never
forget.
"There were several of us travelling
together" lie continued. 1--WE had been
skylarking all along the road, playing
of rlnks on one anOtl or and hayii G a
pretty good time generally. 1t was to be
my farewell trip, and the boys made
dead set mt me for that reason. After
while the novely wore away and life be-
came burdensome.
~ tried to call halt, but it was no
go. One fellow, finding that was an
noyed, persisted in his attempts to put
up games upon me, and he succeeded
pretty well.
81 said nothing for awhile, but Ire
solved to get even, if it took me the
balance of my life.
"The boys separated at New Orleans,
added the speaker. Some of them were
booked for Texas, while and my prac-
teal joking friend continued mp the
Mississippi valley. We reached Mem
phis early one morning by the jackson
route. We were driven Immediately to
the old Peabody House.
81 had stopped there half hundred
times before and had struck up great
friendship with Wiley, the second waiter.
| knew the darkey would do anything III
the world for me. | had matured a
scheme by which proposed to retaliate
on my tOrmentOr.
1--WE were shown to our rooms to fix
up little for breakfast. l sent for
Wiley and he came up to my room.
said to him: Wiley, / want you to wait
on me yourself while | am here. I'll
tell you the reason. know can rely
on you, and I'll pay you well for your
trouble. l am going north with friend
of mine who has recently gone insane.
He is not violent, but the doctors say he
ought not to eat too much.
Il want you to follow these instruc-
tons: No matter what he orders at
meals, bring him nothing but toast and
tea. If he says that he did not order it
humor him. He is so crazy that you can
easily convince him that you had
brought him what he called for, II he
grows violent Just pat him on the back
of the head; that will bring him around,
"Wiley said he understood me. |
gave him couple of dollars and told
him | would give him more before l
left"
''My friend and | entered the break
fast room together. Wiley had informed
all the walters that he was to serve a
crazy man. They eyed us s1iciously.
NY friend thought it was very strange,
and asked me if noticed anything pc
culiar about him. told him that he
looked as usual only that his hair was
as little longer than he generally
wore it.
"Wiley came for the order. | ordered
soft boiled egg, chops and bacon, a cup
of coffee and plate of wheat cake.
ooh, bring me the same" said my
companion. Hang it all, he added, 4
never know what | want. Now if | was
home | could eat an OK
"Wiley caught the remark, 1t coin
cided with the impression that my words
had left with him. He left to ill my
order, Presently he returned, bringing
me my breakfast nicely cooked and
served and u plate of toast cup OF tea
for my friend,
"The latter turned to the walter and
said: 81 guess you've made a mistake
here, my friend. My order was the same
as this gentleman's.'
"'Yes, dats so, cap'en,' said the
waiter. 'Yo' order de same as de Other
gem'm and done bought it. Der't
is. Der's your eggs and der's youl
chops an bacon, an der's your coffee.
OATS right, cap'cn, your breakfast is
right afOre YOU
7'As he spoke the darby pointed out
articles, some real and some imaginary
with his long, bony fingers.
"My friend looked at him in amaze.
ment. what do you mean, waiter, by
standing there and telling me that forl
Are you crazy?'
II done tell yo' exact trufT, cap'en,
replied the waiter in his most persuavC
manner. 'Yo' brekfuss is right afore you.
Same as dat gem'men's precisely
"If you are not crazy yourself, do you
take me to be, or do you think I'm
blind or drunk?' replied my companion
hOtly.
go back this instant, he continued,
and fill my order or | will have you
turned off. Go, say He spoke with
rising infection, which startled the
waiter and caused every inmate of the
room to glance in wonder at us.
81 caught the walters eye and nodded
my head lie took it for the further in
struction and began to pat the back OF
the gentleman's head. This was too
much for my friend.
He leapcd to his feet, uttering an oath
and overseeing his chair at the same
time. You black rascal, he said, what
do you mean by putting your nasty
hands on me? I'll beat you within an
inch of your life He made a move foi
| Wiley.
1.-THE latter dashed for the kitchen.
The other walters huddled in corner.
My friend thought better of his inten-
ton and turned to me to make re.
mark | could hold back my mirth nc
longer laughed till cried. shouted
and fairly yelled with delight.
what are you laughing at?' asked
the angry man. Then he saw through
the whole affair. so this is some OF
your wit is it? You may laugh and il
may be a good joke, but by Joke, | came
near numbering that darby.
81 say he said, after he had resumed
his seat, suppose we quit joking on the
rest of this trip. believe we break witt
the honors in your favor. but ! dom
want to run such chance of numbering
man or making such fool of myself
again. Tile NeD York Herald.