davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
STOLE A GRAVE
A coE711e's Tough Stories oc Q
Missouri Regiment.

A com7a1e's Tough Stories O." Q
Missouri Regiment.
Capt. O. D. Evans Of Peoria was a
member OF the Grand Army committee
which inspected the soldiers home the
other day, says tho Quincy Wing,
and while notwithstanding with party
of friends told couple of stories to
explain the manner in which the
Eighth Missouri infantry gained the
reputation of being the biggest thieves
in the army. On one Of their marches
they passed a plantation and In sort
OF lean-to against a cabin close 10
the road an old negro woman was
cooking corn pone and bacon. Just as
the head OF the regiment got abreast
OF the shauty auntie went into the
house for something or other and one
of the boys slipped into the lean-to on
a foraging expedition. He examined
the stove and then called out disgust
edly:
"Boys, here's some mighty good
grub. but it isn't half cooked"
Hold on q minute; we'll holp you, 5"
was the response, and he was joined
by couple OF his comrades. Then
they picked up the stove, bacon, corn
pone. and all, dumped it into wagon,
piled in some wood, and went on,
bound to have some mighty good
grub" when it was cooked.
They did not cou6ne their thieving
propensities 70 things to- eat. On an
other occasion the Eighth Wisconsin
was cumped sone distance below
Memphis On the bank Of the river,
and, one of their number having died,
they dug a grave in which to bury
him. While the Badgers we're attend
ing to the funeral services the Mis-
aourians came down the river in a
transport and landed to give Christian
burial C comrade who had sue
cumoed to a wound received in a slSirm-
sh the day before. They found the
new-made grave, buried their dead in
it, and left In a few minutes the
Wisconsin boys came along with re-
versed arms and muffled drums, and,
seeing the little mound OF fresh earth,
one of them exclaimed: ''By-George,
somebody has stole our grave" And
they dug new one.
It was the Eighth Missouri which
Is said to have created the basis for
4 story credited to half the regiments
in the service:
They had been in camp several days
at some place in Tennessee when an
enraged farmer complained to the
colonel that his men had robbed him
Of half his chickens.
How many chickens did you have?"
asked the officer.
Fifty"
"And how many Eere taken?"
"Twenty-eight"
Then my men didn't have anything
to do with your chickens, my good sir
You are on the wrong trail"
But I know they did"
"Oh, but I know they didn't. II
they had they would have taken every
Blamed chicken on the roost"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
How Does She Manage IT.

Just how the fashionable woman
who appears night after night clad in
q tune dress, kid gloves and slippers,
and pearl necklace, manages to, es=-
ape pneumonis must ever reIhain< @
sS~oblem to vex and bother the doctor
Md philosopher. These lovely Great
Gures are certainly endowed with great
endurance, whatever may be said of
their sense. Perhaps, as Carlyle said,
tsVanity is warmer than down, and
pride rivals the robe Of ermine." But
to get at facts, the question was put to
q pretty little creature, who never read
a line Of the sage. 81 don't feel cold
at ALL" she said, ssin evening dress.
Just before dressing ! battle my neck,
arms and shoulders in glycerine and
rose water, and after drying with a
coarse towel, have my maid rub me
down with alcohol. don't need this
at all, but I do it to please papa. l
think, however, it is good idea, for
my flesh never gets goosey, and this
is my second season, and I haven't
had q cold yet. Then I always wear
q warm wrap in the carriage, and
when / get home take warm bath
and 20 to bed."-New York Star.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Gen. Rosecrans' Bravery.

The famous Gen. Rosecrans, who
was placed on the retired list by the
last Congress, is one of the bravest
men in Washington. Not all of his
reputation for courage was gained on
the battlefield, either, for he is the
only man in the capital bold enough
to walk down the street with DR..
Mary Walker. Between the eccentric
doctor and the late Register Of the
Treasury there has long existed a
strong friendship. Clerks in Gen.
Rosecrans' Office had become so accus.
toned to seeing the little woman in
mans attire sitting near their chiefs
desk, chatting and laughing with him
most heartily, that they forgot to gos-
sip about it. DR.. Mary Walker has a
very sunny temper, notwithstanding
her martyr-like and unsuccessful devo-
ton to her hobby, and is besides a
woman Of sense and culture. Gen.
Hosecrans, gallant old veteran that he
is, has no patience with the thoughtless
persons who ridicule the doctor simply
because her notions of dress do not
conform to the conventional and has
more than once proved, his sincerity
and independence by strolling block
or two along crowded Pennsylvania
s7cnac in the manniSh little woman's
COMPANY.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
u. de I.eSSens'S Interesting Family.

NJ. and Nine. de Lesscps held q re-
:eption few evenings ago, where the
chief attraction was the presence Of all
;he old mans children, the .wo by his
first marriage and the eleven by his
second. His eldest "boy" is about
ffty-fve years ofage, and his Youngest
:hild, g daughte:, Gisele, is four years
old; the age of the eldest child is
sixty-seven. Comte de Lesseps him
self is now in mis- eighty-ffth year: he
Is rapidly breaking ur--or down, but
still retains good flow of animation
for 8 gentleman never at any time mer-
curial. They cay the failure Of ths
Pauaus Cana eas never affected him;
50 believes sHst Lis So: enc is being
asE8ss.sa bE . eeA4sissey.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

FLooRED.- Duchess Of Sham
coddy-"Our English girls are more at
tractive to men than your American
girls"
Miss Manhatfan-"How is it then
that your men em to prefer American
wives?"
Tie Duchess exp anation in
those exceptional cases is simply that
the nomeo needs money"
Miss Manhattan-"Then how is It
that American millionaire don't marry
sopss.ef your english Juliets?"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Deafness Can't Be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the
way 10 cure deafness, and that /. by consttu-
tioilal remedies. Deafness Is caused by an in
famed condition Of the mucous lining OF the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
famed you have rumbling sound or Imperfect
ness is the result, and unless the Inflammation
can be taken out and this tube restored to is
normal condition, hearing will be destroyed
forever; nine cases out OF ten are caused by
catarrh which Is nothing but an inflamcd con-
dition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that we
cannot cure by taking Halls Catarrh Cure.
Send for circulars. free.
Sold by druggists Is cents.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
One Thousand Dollars.

I will forfeit the above amount, II I fail to
prove that Floraplexion Is the best medicine in
existence for Dyspepsia. Indigestion or Bilious
ate relief, In cases Of Kidney and Liver Com
plant, Nervous Debility and Consumption:
Floraplexion builds up the weak system and
cures where other remedies fail. ASK your
druggist for it and get well. Valuable book
Things Worth Knowing" also, sample bottle
sent free: all charges prepaid. Address
Franklin Hart. So Warren Street New York.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Natures Blessed Assistant.

Nothing has ever yet equalled St; Bernard
torpid liYers, kidneys. skin, bowels, promoting
healthy digestion, nutrition, secretion and eex-
cretion, purifying the blood, building up de1
pressed vital force, removing congestlonsr "a and
literally stand alone A sample OF the st.
Bernard Vegetable Pills will be sent free to
ali applicants. Address, st. Bernard, Box zlo,
New York.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

WONDERS OF sCIENcE.-Lady-"Do
you take lnstantanc Gus photograph"
Photo3rapher-"Yes, madam; l can
photograph q humming. on the
wing, or a swallow in its flight"
LADY, want my b.by's picture
taken"
Photozraphee-"Yes, madam. Get
thelitt!e fellow ready, and I will pre-
pare the chlorofor m."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

A new toy for children is plain sheet
OF paper on hich the figure Of some
animal has been traced with an invisible
and dre-proof solution. The paper is
set on tire on the edge, and it burns away.
leaving the figure intact.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

ANRW YORK CLARA WERE DE WERE.
Miss. Van Wirt-''No, Lord North
bury, I c.uld never marry you. Your
are not my equal"
Lord Northbury-"Not your equal!
Why the blood Of the Flantagenets
cours0s in ny veins. When your great
grandfather was pretty Dutch trader,
mite was sitting In the House Of Lords +"
Miss Van Wirt-"Yes, but when
your great-grandfather was sitting In
the House Of Lords. mine was Duying
up town lots on Broadway"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

minister
- 70 him that he
:. been reading about
.,., wicA~ i king OF Egypt; but had
FORGOTTEN theSplace in the bibls where
it was to be- found, and, wishing to
refer to it Immediately, had come to
him for the Information he desired.
The minister referred the man Of
the law to the book and chapter. and he
:etraced his steps with satisfied air.
but his memory proved treacherous
again, for when he reached his home
he could not recall anything the
minister had told him. Determined,
however, to vindicate the majesty Of
the law, he drew an Indictment in the
usual form and sent it to the grand
Jury; charging the contumacious in
aividual with having violated the laws
of North Carolina in manner and form
following. to wit: "Having taken the
name of the king OF Egypt (name not
recollected) in vain"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

two PECULIAR FACEs.-Mrs. Bills
600 "What peculiar faces, Mrs. Bullion
the japanese give the figures they put
upon their Wares.'
Johnny Bullion (unsoliclted) 1.-THE!
can't hold q candle to the faces my pop
per puts on when mommer gives him tht
bills for them.n
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
The pecgzz: &: ;z:: -; Torld's

The peep: & =: Iorld's
Dispensary 6 blHaSa> N. Y,
have a stock,aking time once
a wear and hat do you think
thew do? CUNT the number
of bottles :hat've been re-
turned by tie men and women
who say hat Dr.. Pierce's
Golden Mdical Discovery or
DT. Pierce'sFavorite Prescrlp-
ton didn't 10 what they said
it would d.
And hw many do you
think the3 have to count.
One in ten? Not one in J50s
Azmazed!
Here are two remedies
one the Golden Medical Dis
covery, foc regulating and in
vigoratins the liver and purify
ing the olood; the other, the
hope of weakly womanhood,
and they've been sold for
years, scld by the million bot
ties; sold under a fosztl0S
guarantee, and not one IN five
hundred can say:
{" 1t was not the medicine fol
me !"
And-is there any reason
why you should be the one .
And-supposing you are what
do you lose ? A6solIts1
nothing .!
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

-35,a that sent the shiny water IL - =
'bower from one side Of the P0A0 "
tie other. e,;ro down
q ,o lla' ~ the direction from whenc, ,
w. ho came "buckity, ba7:457sgs:: busk!z:, e9se@SA
- far rs l con'a stop to see much
Dut u vent over the fence, undc,
l. Ience Or through tie crack 1 have
never known.
looked back one timc when hearC
crash, and l saw the top rail break
with my frantic pursuer, and hs
sumbled back and rolled over in the
sand, white hat and al.
Ipaused not in my flight til! Preached
the plum orchard, a hundred yards
away, and then stopped to listen to
Ponchartrain, who had sneaked along
after me, and after I fired on the en-
amy Ponch took after the horse and
ran him out of sight, baying at every
Jump. He then flew back and made
dash at Dick, who was trying to
keep him OF with his hat.
As l plunged into the orchard and
stopped to listen I heard somebody
laughing fit to kill, and looking around
there lay Cousin Kate on the grass,
eonvulsed with laughter.
She had come down there to eat a
few green plums and salt and had seen
The whole affair.
She didn't see me, and I slipped out
and scooted away toward the branch
head, where I stopped and listened to
Grandpa trying to make Ponchartrain
come of.
That settled Dick fuckers courtship.
So soon as the dog was called off Dick
got his breath, and Of all the cursing
that ever heard, he did it right there.
didn't blame him.
I was glad Of it, for he had always
talked to Grandpa and Cousin Kate
like sugar wouldn't melt in his mouth ;
and just wanted Grandpa to know
lin in his true character.
1t was late supper time when I skunk
into the kitchen, and l felt like going
out and eating some green Chinaber-
res to kill myself.
just knew that Grandpa was going
to make me know that there was d
hereafter.
But strange to say, the old man
looked at me right straight, and then
broke out in big laugh.
"Why, Kate, do rally believe the
Boys agwine to git hearty. I knowed
that Jerusalem oak would do him good.
Go and take your cinders, my son, for
you're gittin' some blood in your face
It last"
Cousin Kate gave me curious look,
and then | saw the blood rush to her
face, and she seemed to be choking to
laugh: :: It like crying until she
came a. 4. spered:
"DcfcM bad about it. He's Sc
proud am. l.. ky that l" wanted to see
him took down just little bit, any
bow"
All, winsome Kate! long are the days
since last we met. But when your
prototype reads this story she will for
give me for mixing up your sweet face
with this ridiculous story.
Fitted to be the heroine of a sweete1
story than can pen, your splrltuelle
face shines out like o star among the
broken clouds Of these ragged remi'
uiscences.-Montgomery Folsom.
-~-&>~
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

4 writer in the London spectator
thiuks that if parrots could he made 10
breed in cap iyity, the parent birds
might teach their young to talk, just as
the canaries teach their accomplishment
10 t..er little ones.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

ATE UNDER PROTEST. .-"Well," sail
Brown to his newly-married frlen'
$50 your wife does the cooking. ] won
der you are alive to tell the tale!''
EYES," replied the other, ''but l an
alive-alive and kicking"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Rupture cure eSuaraMteed by
DR., J. B. Mayer, S3l Arch St., Phll'a,
Pa. Ease at once, no operation or de-
lay from business, attested by thou.
sands of cures after others fail, advice
free. send for circular.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

After forty years of immersion in
the waters of the pool of EcEoschacht,
not far from Hermannstadt, several
human bodies have been brought to
surface in State Of perfect pres:r'
vatlOn.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

It has been suggested that good way
to rid a town OF III ,tls would lie TO set
up pow erful e'ectric light on the out
skirts. The moth has an inStiDctive
fondness for light, and especially the
electric light.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

At Sitka, Alaska, the shortest d y in
the year, December 21, is only six hours
long, the sun rising at nine and setting
at three. The longest day, June 2l, is
ei,hteen hours, the sun rising at three
and Sitting at nine.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Money invested in choice one hundred dol.
lar building lots in suburbs Of Kansas City Will
pay from FIVE hundred to one thousand per
cash and IS per month without interest con-
trolls 8 desirable lot. Particulars on applica-
ton. J. r. Bauerlein & Co.. Kansas City, Mo.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Warm weather often causes extreme tired
feeling and debility, and in the weakened con-
dition of the system, diseases arising from i'm
pure blood are liable to appear To gain strength,
to overcome disease, and to purify, Yltalize,
and enrich the blood, take Hoods Sarsaparllla.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

SHE GOT A SERVANT. - Husband
(married one year)-"Why, Eta, what
has become of your wedding ring?'
Wlfe-''I wore it out"
Husband-''How could YOU wear it
out?"
Wife-"Dojng the housework."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

ARTFUL JACK.-"Why didn't you
write oftener In auswe!e to my letters,
Jack2" she asked, tearfully.
because, Dearest" he remarked,
yours were so long aid interesting
that spent al The time reading them.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

PARoDox1cAL. - Stern Parent-''l
say, MIR. Softleiah?''
Softleigh-"Yes, sir"
S,err Parent-''You seem to stay
around a great deal for man Who i;so
| badly gone as You are"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Guaranteed i've year eight per cent. First
MORTGAGES on Kansas City property, interest
payable every six months; principal and inter.
sst collected when duo and remltted without
Expense 10 lender. For sale by J. II. Bauerien
s Co., Kansas City, Mo. Write for particulars.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

TIE famous Adel>berg grotto on the
road to Trieste, Italy, was recently ex-
plored, when discovery was maze of two
other grottos ard a number Of corridors
communicating with the principle grot-
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Don't work your horses 10 death with
poor axle grease; the Frazer is the only re-
liable make. Use it once, and you will
have no other.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Gamma Kidney Cure

Cann's Kidney Cure for
Dropsy, Gravel, Diabetes, Bright's,
Heart, Urinary or Liver Diseases, Nerv-
onsness, &c. Cure guaranteed. S3l
Arch Street, Philad'a. 81 bottle, s
for IS, or druggist. 1000 certificates Of
cures. Try it.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

SOMETHING OF A LIE.-She-1sn' t
Doctor Anderson very absent-minded9'
"Yes. That's why he never
married, He went to kiss his sweet
hearts hand once and Taccinated her
lrstead',
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

The operation OF cutting diamonds
comprises three phases-splltting, shap
Ing and polishing.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Mrs. Jacob Benton, Of Lancaster N.
H., gas been an invalid for over five
years. During that time she has learned
to speak and write FIVE language.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

TAKING HIS TEMPERATURE.- like
orator had talked for half an hour.
"Oh, come on; let's CO." said Bag
ley.
"Wait until be gets warmed up to bis
subject" whispered Bailey.
An hour later Bagley said: "We!i
he's warmed up now; let's CO."
"Can't you wait until the man cool'
down some?'
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Did You ever 60 within mile OF a soap fac
tory? II so You know what material they make
soap Of DobbinS' Electric Soap factory is as
free from odor as chair factory. Try 1t once.
Ask your grocer for 1t. Take no imitation.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Nerve Keslorer No Fits after first days usa. Mar-
velous cures. Treatise and 81 w trial bottle tree 20
Iucases. Send 10 Dr. Kline .93l Arcn ST. Pnila "a.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Woman Her Diseases and Their Treat
ment" 4 Yalu.'ble illustrated book OF seventy
two pages sent free, on receipt OF l0c.. to cover
c.>i ulmaIling, etc. Address, 2. y. Box lUeo
Phila., Pa.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Timber. Mineral. Farm Lands and Ranches
IN Missouri, Kansas, Texas and Arkansas,
bought and sold. Tyler s. Co, Kansas City, Mo.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

11aflicted with sore eyes use Dr.. Isaac Thomp.
son 'sEye-water. Druggists cell at 20. pee borue
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

An Extended Popularity. BROWNS BRoS
cHIAL THoCHEs have for many years Deen the
most popular article in use for relieving COuG hs
and Throat troubles.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

The skeleton of the average English
man weighs about twenty-five pounds.
If cremated, the ashes turn the scale
at about quarter of pound.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

The horse that General Grant last
used Is leading a comfortable life on a
farm near St. Louis, No., where it Is
tenderly cared for.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Oklahoma Guide Boo kard Map sent anywhere
receipt OF 50cts.Tyler 70, Kansas City, Mo.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Too MANY FINGERS IN THE PIE
She-"What, you love me? Why, you
do not know enough about me yet. "
He (having seen her ia hers rating
in Bradstreetl-',I know enough to love
you and ask you to be my wife"
She-"Ah, ifyou LEew alycu would
not ask that"
He-''What, is your heart il the
graye?"
she-"No, but have nine younger
sisters.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Lee Was Chinese HeadAche Cure. Harmless
in effect, quick and positive i'll acti,r. sent
prepaid OF receipt ofSl per bottle. Adeie. Co
SO Wyandotte ST., Kansas City, No.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Joseph Manlove is making money
running a water farm in Indiana. lie
raises only fish and frogs.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

a stray cat In Wisconsin carried dip
iberia into a family, and caused the
death Of FIVE children.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

Parties in Nova Scotia are making ar
rapgements with steamship companies
for the expectation Of live Holsters t.
England.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20

A western cowboy committed suicide
because thirteen-year.old girl refused
to nosr1y hiE
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Albany, Oregon has apumpkln weigh
ing 109! pounds


Do You Ever Soeculates
Any person sendi.t us their name AM AZ;
dress viii receive information that will le;ti
~ fortune. Beuj Lewis & Co., Security
Building, Kansas City. Mo.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
HUMOROUS.

pREcAUTIoN Observation-Disclosures .
inquired Mir. Billus, what kind OF a
girl is this second cousin Of yours that"
coming to visit us5'
" cont know much about her, AN
sTered Mrs. Billus, Except that she
is said to be quite pretty, and-Where
are you gong, Jobn7',
~ an going to take that rug from
Tie llbary floor and put it down in front
u the big !o1king- glass"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1891-01-20
Poisoned
bV SCrOfuIa

Is the sad story Of many lives msda miserable
through no fault OF their own. Scrofua is more
espec ally than any other hereditary disease,
ard for this simple reason: Arising from i'm
pure and insufficient blood, the disease locates
itself In the lymphatics, which are composed
Of white tissues; there is period of fetal life
when the whole body consists Of white tissues,
and therefore the unborn child Is especially
susceptible to this dreadful disease. But there
Is remedy for scrofula, whether hereditary
or acquired 1t IS Hoods Sarsaparilla, which
by Its powerful! effect upon the blood, expels
every trace Of the disc lSe and gives to the vital
fluid the quality and cDlOr Of health. If you
decide to take Hoods Sarsaparilla do not ac-
cept any substitute.