The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Mr.. AND MIS-. Bowsga.
Mr. Bcwser Gets Another of His
ssgfreaks'' ON.

\ All husbands are 'StftaKy. Iney Will
run along all right for week or two as
good as pie, and then all Of sudden. and
with no valid excuse, they will break out
/ In the most surprising manner. When
Mr. Bowser left the house after lunch the
other day he was in great good humor and
stopped TO say
Il think I'll stop and get tickets for the
theater tonight, and Wen put in an enjoy
able evening"
When he returned at he assembled the
steps with scuff scuffl scuffi unlocked
the front door, gave it a kick and made his
way into the back parlor to grogl:
Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to run
this house on a system"
"Why, what's wrong. dear" she queried
in reply.
"There's lots Of things wrongl had
scarcely left the Office when this overcoat
button came off. Ilaid this coat off the 5th
of last May, and you've had five months to
secure that button"
"But / didn't know it was loose. Why
didn't you tell mes"
"Why haven't told you 10000 other
things that ought to be donel There are
wives who glance at their husbands cloth
ing once or twice year and discover what
repairs are needed. Iwant darning needle
and piece OF string"
But III sew the button on"
"No; Pll do 1t myself. | don't want to
take up your valuable time"
And despite Mrs Bowers entreaties and
protestations he threaded the needle with
piece Of string and sat down and sswed
on the button. He got 1t an inch out Of
line with tine Duttonhole, of course, and of
course it wouldn't have stayed five min
utes in any event, but he had carried
his point When he had laid the coat
aside he asked:
"Have we got a brad awl and piece of
waxed end in the house"
II don't think so. What do you want of
them?"
ITO mend my suspenders, of course l
hadn't got 100 feet from the house this
noon when it busted on me, as usual If
there's another house in the United States
run like this one I'd like to hear of it and
go and sit down on the doorstep for half
an hour. Perhaps can repair it with
piece of clothesline until can get down
town again"
But you can't blame me, Mr. Bowser,"
she said.
ooh, of course not; you are not to blame
for anythingw
"But how did know your suspender
was ready to break?"
"That's all right, Mrs. Bowseri ri get
piece of clothesline or barbed wire and
make repairs, and you needn't worry at
ALL There are wives and wives"
"Are we going to the theaterS" she
asked, as he began pacing up and down the
room with his hands under his coat tails
WHAT he shouted in voice which
jumped the cat out of the room.
"-Are we going to the theater"
"Theaterl Theaterl Have you gone
crazy9 Mrs. Bowser, look-a-there, and
then talk theater to meP'
He unlaced one of his shoes and kicked
it off, and there at the end of his big toe
was a hole about as big as nickel
Il was intending to go to the theater,"
he said as he stood and pointed at the hole,
but can't get away this evening | have
got to stay home and darn my socks. That
hole there has started corn on my toe this
very day."
"Mr. Bowser, those socks were brand new
yesterday morning when you put them onp'
exclaimed Mrs. Bowser with good deal of
energy.
"Oh, OF Counsel probably cut that hole
with the shearsl want darning needle
and some string or something. AS long as
I've got to take care of my clothes through
the rest of my life l might as we'll begin
tonight"
Mrs Bowser protested, but he threaded
darning needle with piece of red string
and used up about eight feet of it in darn
ing the hole He appeared to be growing
good natured, and she ventured to ask:
AREN'T we to go to the theater tonight"
If we get through in time we may"
"Get through with what2"
MRS. Bowser," he said, as he removed
mis- coat and turned his back, "look at the
back of my vestp'
II see it, but what's wrong"
"Wrongl wrongl Is there buckle
there? Put on your glasses and tell me if
you can find buckle anywhere on the
back of my vest"
'No, don't see one, but this is the first
time you have called my attention to it."
Exactly. What was the use? That
buckle busted off three years ago last
Thanksgiving day, and yet you haven't
noticed It'll Is there spare buckle kicking
around the cellar or hanging up in the
garnet? If not, suppose l can heat the
stove poker and bend it up to answer"
lou oHly gov bLttt VtSJ Three months
ago, Mr.. Bowser, and the tailor never put
a buckle onp' she exclaimed, as she pulled
at the strap.
'And this coat, Mrs. Bowser," he went
on, regardless of her protests, ''feel in this
pocket There's a hole there large enough
to let a cocoanut through I've known it
for years and years, and I've been waiting
to see if you would fix it. Have we got
piece of BEDFORD and about half yard of
old Brussels carpet lying around9"
why didn't you tell me about it?"
''Tell you! Must husband be eternally
telling his wife about these things? What's
a wife for? What are her duties? What
should fond, true wife delight inP But
ton of-hole in my sock-no buckle on my
vest-hole in my pocket-two buttons
loose on my vest-buttonholes all torn
put in my Shirt Theaterl Not this even
Ing, Mrs. Bowserl You can go, but
haven't time. After dinner I've got to get
the hammer, gas pincers, saw, file, brace
and drill, a package of rivets, screwdriver,
gimlet and a lot of glue and see if | can't
repair some of the damages and get N.Y.
self in shape to go to the Office tomorrow.
You can go and you'll probably enjoy the
play and have a good time, but shall be
unavoidably detained at home-unayoidar