The morning call., 1891-03-20
THEY DID NOT COMBINE.
The Small Boy and His Lemons Over
ca!ne the Rand.


came the Band.
One night at the dinner table the boy
heard this proposition laid down: That if
anybody sucks a lemon in front of a brass
band that band becomes as mute as the harp
that hung in Tara's halls. Then there grew
up within him a longing for a combination
of boy. lemon and band. Two elements
of the conjunction he could supply, and ne
bought lemon. says the New York Times.
Then he waited for band, street band
with Germans to run the machinery. The
boy lives in Brooklyn, and there are Ger
man bands over there even to this day, but
it was a week before one came within his
reach.
The band came down Willow street, and
turned into Middagh. The boy and the
lemon met 1t there and took up position
on a fence directly in front of which the
band had determined to play. The band
consulted and decided upon Little Fisher
Maiden" The boy secretly gnawed hole
in one end of his lemon. Then the E-fat
clarinet. which being the only wood instru-
ment in the band is a proud one, and the
E-flat cornet, which because it divides with
the clarinet all the fancy work in the intri-
cate music of such bands, got ready. And
the B-ttat cUrnet, which has thrust off upon
it the air when the first two cannot get
down low enough, and the two B-flat tenors
and the two E-t1at altos and the B. fiat
barytone, Which gets bass solo now and
then, and the tuba which does not get any
thing except great deal of wind, they all
got ready and they played one verse of
Little Fisher Maiden" so beautifully that
district messenger boy stopped TO hear
them.
Then the boy threw the lemon into ac-
tlon, and with great apparent enjoyment
sucked ii, taking the precaution to kick
dog so that it yelped. and thereby attract
ing attention to himself. The two tenors
and the clarinet dropped out Of the race
on the second bar of the chorus, the altos
and the barytone went to cover three bars
later on, and the two cornets held on a
half-minute longer and then succumbed,
and the tuba, who was deaf, was left to
finish the strain alone, which he did.
Then the band walked up to the boy, and
tho clarinet said in very good English, for
1t is singular pathological fact that German
bands always talk good English:
What did you do that for?"
'Do you live here?" asked one of the ten
ors, evidently seeking to know his legal
rights.
'1'll break your neck" said one Of the
altos.
You little villain" shouted the naughty
clarinet
Give me that lemonW yelled the B-hat
cornet, and then they all shook their firsts
at the boy, aud all who could get at him
shook him. and the lemon fell from his
nandS into the tuba, the performer on which
had just come up, and was finally kicked
clear up to Columbia Heights, when it was
shaken out, and the policeman, who does
not like anything German except beer,
turned the corner, whereupon the band
went up Hick street to the Chinese doctors
house and st.rted to play, 'I'll Staud by
Until the Morning."
The band stood by for nearly one verse
before the boy could get another lemon.
Then the notes got fast in the horns, aud
even the shaking up they got when the band
chased the boy around into Cranberry street
and saw him disappear in the laundry did
not loosen them.
Over in Orange street it began to insist
that white wings never grow weary, but the
boy and the lemon arrived and the music
got too weary to come out Of the brass horns
or the clarinet. In Pineapple street the
band attempted to make it clear that "many
stormy wind shall blow ere Jack-comes
home--again," but tue boy got round and
saved Jack from any prolonged tempests
The band wandered UP over the hill and
the boy tagged along. Disjolnted frag-
ments of popular tunes were scattered all
over the heights that morning, but there
was not enough of any ons tune for a coro-
ner's Inquest. Not in many years have
musical circles seen such an expenditure of
energy with such small results.