Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1891-10-23
THE J0KER's BUDGET.
JESTs AND YARNS RY ruNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Where Are You Gong PA Personal
Reflection - At Bar Harbor-A
sudden Move, Etc, Etc.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING 2

Reflection - At Bar Harbor-A
sudden Move, Etc, Etc.
WHERE ARE YOU comet
"Whers are you going, my pretty maidG"
..,,, I'm going crazy, kind sir" she said.
WI not 60 with you, my pretty maid.
1oaIe there already, kind SIR" she
PERSONAL REFLECTION.
Miss Hijee didn't sing to-day" re,
marked friend to the leader Of the choir
OF the Church of the Otfertory.
mo, she's resigned"
~ thought she had q good place.
What was the troubled"
"She was offended about the selection
OF an anthem which she had to Lead off
last Sunday, and vowed she'd resign
sooner than sing it, and she did,"
That's odd. What was the anthem?"
Ut began, 4 nave been young and
now an old. '"-[Epoch.
AT BAR HARBoR,
Miss Passe--Don't you think that this
talk about seaside engagements is all
nonsense, Mr.. Youngnoolle?
MIR. Youngnoodle-Aw, do you think
so2
Miss Passee-Yes. johnny, dear Ito
her young brother, please stop that
noise.
Johnny-1'm ony playin' wild yer bag
OF engagement rings.-[Jewclers' Cir
cular.
A SUDDEN MOVE.
Stranger Gin Iowa)-Does . man
named Stackhouse live here9
Resident-No. He moved into tho
next State.
Stranger-Well, never. Told me
he had settled here for life. Must have
moved on an impulse, didn't he9
Resldent-No, on cyclone.-[A rgosy.
a SHARP REJo1SDER.
An old lady, brought up as witness
before a bench of magistrates, when
asked to take off her bonnet, refused to
do so. saying: "There's no law compel
ling woman to take off her bonnet"
''Oh," said one of the magistrates,
you know the law, do you2 Perhaps
you would like to come up and sit here
and teach us2"
mo, l thank you, SIR replied the old
lady; there are old women enough
there already"
AN INTERNATIONALLY PATIENT,
Victim (aftcr five minutes of torture)
You said you would have that tooth
out in a secondl
Dcntlst-So I will, so I will giving
another wrench) just as soon as get it
loosened from the gum Chicago
NOT UNCOMMON. y
"Now that l have stated them, sir,
don't you think my aims are lofty2''
''Ics, Mr.. Hicks. Your aims are all
right, but you are very bad shot. -
PUCK.
KNEW THEIR TRAITS.
Old Gentleman Tin the park)-W What
ore you doing, my little dear?
Little Girl with dolD-I am giving
Dolly drink.
''Giving Dolly drink, eh? But the
water is running down all over her pretty
dress"
eyes, she slcbbers a good deal. All
babies do."-INew York Weekly.
TIRED STANDING.
Old Lady Gin electric carl-Dear me |!
We're going to hear thunder storm.
Bad Boy Changing to strap)-I don't
see no signs Of it, mum.
Old Lady-No signs? Why, the
lightning is beginning. See the flashes
and hear the thunder.
Bad Boy-That amt outside, mum.
That's in the Car. / guess something's
wrong with the 'lectric connections.
Old Lady-Goodness me! Conductor!
Conductor! Stop the car; I want to get
off,
Bad Boy (taking her seap-I guess the
old lady Kin git into some store before
she gets wet Good News.
EYES RIGHT.
Gigantic Lady Ito policeman)-Sir, can
you not see me across the street?
Policeman-See yez across de streate,
is it? Sure, mum, l can see you mile
Off Outing.
WANTED INFORMATION.
"Your son finishes his college studies
next year, 1 believe?"
eyes"
"What baseball club is he going to
join; do you know!"-[New York
Press.
TOTAL ABSTINENCE DESIRED.
Captain Cruiser-So your son is lit
tie dissipated, eh!
Anxious Mother-Oh, very, Captain,
very. What can do with him9
Captain Cruiscr-Lravc him to me.
We sail from New York for San Fran
cisco next week, and Won't touch port
six months.
Anxious Mothcr-But, Captain, don't
you think brandy or any other spirit is
just as bad as port for my soma Phar-
maceuticul Era.
| CONSISTENT CRITICISM.