The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-06-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A darkness that may be felt-A black
hat.
The disinherited son is punished with
a will.
"We meet but to part" as the comb
SAID to the brush.
The royal chef does things to the
Queens taste.-Pittsburg Post.
1t takes very prompt man to be
hero to his tailor.-NeU York Herald.
The lobster is not noted for its bash
fulness; but it turns red on getting into
shot water. ."-Puck.
1t is an odd thing that the temperate
zone contains the hardest drinkers on the
face of the earth.-Puct.
"I say, ,Bill"(shouting to another sales
mani, "got any more of those diam nd
necklaces for 81. .492'-LJe.
A pretty woman and philosopher are
both apt to be enamored of their own re-
dections. Journal
The value of compliment lies in its
placing. "Heart of oak" is more pleas
intly received than "wooden head. -
Puck.
"Sweet nothingsl" he exclaimed soft
iy, as he looked at the row of ciphers
after the figure on the check Washing
ton Post.
"Tm going to write an immortal
poem" "What's your rccipe2" SIN
lehble ink on asbestos paper. "-Hunsey's
Weekly.
So many people have the look on their
iaces as if they had been allowed one
last strike at something and missed it.
AtchiS0n Globe.
When a tramp is fortunate enough to
get hold of the upper portion of a roasted
FOWL he generally makes clean breast of
't.-Teras Sytings.
Parrott-"How many great titles end
IN 'or'-Emperor, legislator, editor"
Wiggins (who lives in flat)-"Yes, and
ianitor. ."-Harpers Bazar.
With the same finger with which she
mas just dashed tear from her eye
woman artfully arrauges stray lock of
hair on her temple. Ftiegende BIdetter.
"Man wants but little here below"
That's all quite true, and yet
I'd like to see the man that won't
Take all that he can get.
Life.
Mr. Jones (as the grizzly draws up on
him)-"Oh! why can't | remember
whether it's a grizzly or Il brown bear
that cant climb trec2"-HtFUdrd Lam
pO0R.
"What do You do with that baseball
mask2" "Why, Johnny is very bad
sometimes, and the only closet have to
shut him up in is where the preserves
are safe. ."-Hayper'S Bazar.
On four seats of railway car
Amidst his traps, the drummer sat-
And wished he had but one seat more
In which to place ms high silk hat.
Pack.
One of England's advantages: 81 do
so love England, " said De Peyster ecstat-
ically. "What do you so like about it2n
asked Brouthers. sits so English, "
returned De Peyster. Brooklyn Life.
"Nature rarely wastes, but sometimes
she does, said Mehitabel at the circus.
"Look at the elephant, Tor instance.
Two tails practically, aud yet with a
hide impervious to dies. "--Ne,0 York
Sun.
"What is the deepest depth of igno.
rancei" asked the philosopher, musingly;
aud the man of the world made haste
TO answer. 1T is the ignorance displayed
by railway official when there has been
a wreck on his road. "-St. Joseph Nesps.
The milk Of human kindness
Is a gift supreme;
But our lmpecunious friend
Always wants the cream.
Puck.
Aunt Ann-'How can YOU be content
to waste your time reading these trashy
novelist Just listen TO this: They
sat hand in hand, speechless with the
sweet intoXicaton of first love. lntoxi-
cation of first lovel Bah!n Laura
"But, auntie, it must have been due to
their ardeut spirits. "-IndiaaapJiis Jqur.
nal.
A little fiye-year-old Irish boy in one
of our public schools was reproved by
his teacher for some mischief. He was
about to deny his fault, when she said
al saw you, jerry" eyes, he replied
as quick as fash, ~ tells thin there
amt much yous don't sec wild thin purity
black eyes OF yourn. That was the soft
answer that turned away wrath; for what
lady could resist so graceful compli.
mentt-Harper's Young People.
The culture Of oranges in Caiforuis
da,es back to the time of the old Mission
fathers, who, it is stated, brought the
seed from Spain.