Los Angeles herald., 1891-02-24
SOCIETY'S BLESSINGS.
CONvERSATlONALIST AND THE CLEv-
Err DINNER GlvER.


Three Opinions.
Three young men stood upon the
street corner the othef day. One was
an "old chappie," the other was an "old
man." and the third was "deah boy"
They were discussing the question of
what were the greatest blessings on
earth. "Old chappie" thought woman
who conversed we'll was the noblest
work of the Almighty; but then he is a
great talker himself, and was speaking
entirely from a personal point of view.
The "old man." being great eater,
declared man that gave good dinners
was the best man in the world, and the
"deah boy" who is rich and lazy,
thought good family servant was the
most desirable thing on earth. They
were not far out the way, after all.
Now, the woman who listens we'll is
the one that conveTses well, for conver-
sation is not monologue. The person
that simply listens, although she ap-
pears to listen well, will eventually be
found out. She is not so modest, if she
is bright, that she is content to hear
simply what you have to say without
having her own say. You are boring
her, and you'll find it out, and then your
conversation will not have been pleasant
to you. She is a fatterer, this listener,
and nothing else. She starts you on your
hobby. She is wrapt in attention as you
ride the poor brute to death.
You pause for an instant and she says
word showing the deepest interest in
subject that is in reality entirely unin-
teresting to her, and off you go again.
But when you finally dismount your
Rosinante and take your leave you are
painfully conscious that You did all the
talking; that your ideas were being ex-
hibited the whole evening, and if you
know that she has ideas of her own you
cannot help the reflection that she might
herself have wished to give them little
airing, and you may come to the conclu-
sion that the lady has been practicing a
mild amount of hypocrisy.
"Old chappie" was right when he said
a woman that conversed well was So
cial blessing, and there are many more
blessings of this kind among women
than there are among men. Women,
generally speaking, have more leisure
than men have; they read more light
literature; they see more company, and
they give more attention to the elegan-
cies of life. Unfortunately the men who
do nothing in our country, who should
be the ones to cultivate the ornamental
side of life, are not usually capable of
cultivating anything but their own per-
sonal adornment.
But if it is impossible to get good
conversationalist out Of fool that does
nothing it is equally impossible to ex-
pect a man to cultivate this luxury of
social life when almost all of his time is
devoted to his business or his profession
The shop should not be lugged into the
parlors or the dining room, but how can
it be expected that it should be excluded
from those sacred precincts when men
spend so much of their time in the shop?
There should be more leisure, and then
there would be more men who are able
to maintain agreeable conversations
Where the conversationalist shines
with most luster is at dinner, and this
brings US around to the remark at the
beginning of this article Of the ''old
man." who thought that the giver of
good dinners was the greatest social
blessing of all. Perhaps he is, and he is
not only blessing, but he is usually
man of intelligence as well. Cookery
is an art" says Brillat Savarin, "but to
roast requires genius" That is re-
mark that applys to cooks and not to
the employers of cooks.
The latter require talent, not only in
the planning of the menu but also in the
selection of the people who are to dis
cuss it. A man is generally dependent
upon the servants in the matter of the
food and its cooking, and the good mas
culine dinner giver is thus nearly al
ways man of means; but the female
dinner giver, who is the greatest bless
ing of all, need not be rich. Bad house
keepers, careless wives who do not love
good eating themselves and are indiffer-
ent to the feelings of others, always have
poor cooks.
But the woman who takes the trouble
to teach the cook and to superintend
her when she is engaged in her diff
fcult art-nay, the elegant, we'll bred
lady who does not disdain herself to
sometimes make good dish, and who is
not ashamed to tell her guests that their
praises Of it are due to her rather than
to her cook-this is the woman whom to
to dine with is pleasure.
The subject Of servants is perhaps the
most important household problem of
the present day. The truth Of the mat
ter is that American life doesn't develop
good servants. The American would
rather do anything else than be serv-
ant, because the servant is so generally
degraded into mere menial. To black
en- another mans boots, to help another
man to dress, to run on another mans
errands, to be obliged to submit without
word to the humors and petty tempers
of another man-al this is something
that clashes with the independent feel
ings Of the Americans. Because of this
Wallets and buffers are never Americans,
bnt are usually foreigners, who swallow
their pride, pocketing 'perquisites" in
the mean time.
The colored man likewise, that used
in the old times to be the ideal house
servant, is getting too independent to
follow his old calling with humility
There is not a bright outlook in this