The Opelousas courier., 1891-07-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

EJMUK tt lIiE ia L.
In purple and fine linea-A baudaged
black eye.
A burst of eloquenco is Il consequence
of mental dynamite.-B3st0n C0ur56r.
"And why were you discharged from
your last place." ''I'd served me time"
Not Intimate: "EIave you met with
success?" 81 know it only by sight
Puc&.
Marked down--Tle young mans mus
tache when 1t begins to be visible
PHtsburg Chronicle.
The fact that riches have wings may
be the reason that they enable n man to
''fy high Wasbja3toa Posi-.
When a bachelor is asked to rock the
cradle he feels more like stoning the
baby instead.-Some%gWe LurnGi.
Consider the man who is always pune
tual-Qhow much time he wastes waiting
for other people.-E1mara Gazette.
Tramp-"Wil this dog bite a poor
old trampg" Hired Girl-sJust as quick
as a fat young one. Git!"-E2oea.
When the other man begins to quote
statistics you may assume that you have
won the argument.-El fra Ga=ste.
Boulanger is having atbther desperate
wrestle with obscurity, and with all the
chances in favor of o55curity.-B2ston
Post.
He-"so Jack isn't devoted to Kate
any more. Did they fght2" She
Eyes; they had an engagement. "-Yab
Record.
Fogg says that, after all, your true
hue-ers of wood and drawers of water
are ycur landscape artists. Boston Tran
script.
THE man I'll wei,n says sweet Sixteen,
Must beauty have and Youthful be.'
"Of him I'll wed" says Thirtv-five,
ST but demand that he'll have me-
The saying, stNothing succeeds like
success" was probably invented before
the modern 'tbusiness failure" system of
succeeding was discovered .-Aew York
Herald.
Really Enthusiastic: "Oh, Mr.. Brown,
your picture is absolutely enchanting.
Only one Italian word can describe it
and | have forgotten that. '-Fyieqenae
Blaetter.
"Here's your BILL" said the milk
dealer to the dissatisfied customer.
stWe3l, turn about is only fair play sup
pose we chalk that up awhile. - Wash
iagton Post.
at strikes me that Russian authors
have a remarkably venerable and care
worn look" Eyes; but then look at
the language they have to do their think
ing in.'- Washington Post.
Clara Gust engaged)-aAh, Emma, if
! only knew how to make Edward hap
py!" Emma Ia student Of human ma
ture)-'tIn tell you, my dear. Don't
marry him.'-F1iegende B1aetteg.
81 a command my salary" said the
Thespian in reply to the remarks of an
envious rival. mo doubt" was the re-
ply. s'It's SO small it would be afraid
to disobey you."- Washington Post.
1.-THE Super6uous Man. is the title of
a recently published essay. This is the
first time that the man who goes shopping
with his wife has figured in serious litera-
ture, we believe .-New York Recorder.
Miss Caustique-"I hear you won the
440-yards run" De Boaster-"Oh,
easily. The other fellows weren't in it,"
Miss Caustique-"Ah, you were Che only
one entered, | pr une. "-Haroard Lam
poo1.
"'The face Of Sde returns said the
chairman of the meeting, ''shows sixty
ayes and no noes HWhat a queer
looking face that must be, " remarked an
old lady in the back row Washington
Star.
Mrs. snaggs (reading)-"A first cousin
Of the King Of Sweden is living in Lynn,
Snaggs-"Poor fellow! Why
do they bring that up against him if he's
to live a respectable life. "-PtHs-
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
An effort was made in Ohio to cure a
girl of a dog-bite by using a maidstone,
but it failed. The trouble was the stone
used too late. It ought to have been
to the dog before he bit the
girl.-Baltin7re Ameriean.
Complainant "Your honor, she
struck me in the face with her clenched
fist. That cash was cut by her ring"
The Court-sWhere did she get the
Complainant-s.Ig gave it to her.
It was our engagement ring The
.ourt-seThe prisoner is discharged.
This is clearly a ease of e~ontributory
negligence, "-Jeeelers' Wee1ly.