Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-02-20
WIT AND IIUMOR.

Say. mister. no going TO sleep here.
This amt no church. Life.
1t takes two to gossip. The man
who listens eau throw no blame on the
man who tells.-AtchtS0n Globe.
The person who can the least spare
it is often most willing to give others q
piece of his mind.-Roms Seatinei.
The spectators may regard ball
player as bad, but oftentimes he isn't
half as bad as he fields. -Biaghamton
Leader.
1t may he "Lo. the poor Indian" in
poetry. but Indians come high to the
United States Government.-W Washing
ton Post.
The trouble in lending our ears is
that the borrowers take such liberties
with them before returning them
AtchiS0n Globe.
Sanso-''I make it point to learn
something from everybody / meet"
Rodd-"Ah! You must DO a reclase."
~ Y. Herald.
A man no sooner gets old enough to
know how to talk well than he also
learns the value of not talking ut all.
-AtchtSon Globe.
He (at 1855 p. m.)-"I declare, the
lamp is going Outw She-"Yrs. The
lamp seems to have some idea OF time"
-harper'S BaSdr.
Smiley-"Now, remember, I don't
want large picture" photographer
ALI right. sir. Then p ease close
your mouth. "-BostoH 7rQUelcT.
Scrib5ler-'J have just lots OF fun
writing my jokes" Friend-"Then
that explains it. | wondered where
the fun came in."-D.troit Free Press.
Drop me q line" yelled the drown
ing man. whats the use?' said the
humorist on the dock. There's no
postoffice where you are going."-Lye.
A New York paper says that Mrs.
Shaw, the whistler. il still in Europe
were still in America. - IonktrS States
man.
There are lots of people in this world
who wear silks and velvets on top, with
carefully covered garment of sack
cloth and ashes NATURALIZATION
Globe.
An agnostic is man who does not
know anything, and glories in the fact.
The atheist is Il smart man who rejoices
in making fool of himself. Bsston
Traveller.
The disconnected Indians may go on
the theory suggested by the ballet. that
if it is customary for dancers to kick it
is only natural for the kickers to dance.
-WGshiHgtoH Post.
There are two things needed in these
days: First, for rich men to find out
how poor men live. and, second. for
poor men To know how rich men work.
-Edtcdrd atkinson.
Fred-'They say Baker has great
deal more gei-up about him than he
used TO have" Harry-"Yes. he has
to. They have twins at home."-
d. troll Free IreSS.
Husband-"fh marks on my coll
lars are getting so faint l cant read
them" Wife-"rhen wish you would
get another bottle of that indelible
lux. ~ \. Sun.
Il would give anything if but had
musical ear" why don't you take
quinine?' "Quinine?" Certainly;
That will make your ears sing
Indianapolis Journal.
SHELLEY writes Il good deal better
than he talks" 20, immensely"
Then you have read some of his writ
ingsP' NO but | have heard him
alk."-BoSton Transcript
so the old gentleman kicked you
down the stoop when you called to
see his daughter. DID he break any,
thing?" Yes he broke our engage
nent. philadelphia Times.
She-"They have discovered some
wood in Egypt which is said to be A.
)00 years old. i wonder what kind it
Tsp" He ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS,
OF course. v Washington Star.
Mrs. Bunting-"Wh was the violin
list who played at your reception, Mrs.
Larkiup" Mrs. Larkin-''lt wasn't
yioliuist at all. 1t was vir;uoso.
Why. had TO pay him $Jo."-M Y
Sun.
What pretty girl Jimson's type
writer must be-" unused Watts. III
never saw such an outrageous lot Of
misspelIed words in business letter
before in all NY days."-L"dianapolis
Journal
Mr.. Fuller 10 Clarence a years old)
-"Why. Clarence. how much you
look like your father" Clarence IRE
signedly) Yes. sir. Everybody says
that, but | don't think / deserve it,
~. Y. Sun.
But. Carl, how can you drink so
much bcer?" Il drink il as n reward
OF virtue. for you see, drank milk for
a whole year. You did! And what
Year was that, prayp' My first, of
course. "-Ftie0eiao Blatter.
She-"That was a funny story you
told me yesterday about a donkey.
Mr.. Greggs." He-Do you think SOP"
She-''Yes, indeed! After this when
ever see donkey it will remind me
Of you."-Munsey's Weekly.
Why is Il that it is so much easier for
other people to say mean things about
a man than it Is to make a pleasant
COMMENT You yourself, you know.
never say anything but pleasant things
| about bOHv So,ne1.q,lLLe .lOfI1.11l