Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-05-10
RULES OF SOCIETY.
Mrs. Sherwood Tells Young Men How
to Get Into Proper Circles.
SHOULD DRESS AND DANCE WE'LL.
Etiquette M Thestsr Parties and Other
Social Gatherings.
BlooIINe ACQUAINTED IN A CITY
WRITTEN FOR THE prs1AroH.l

| citys OF INTO new. place WnoFo ne !" Nv
known, should try to bring q few letters Of
introduction. If he can bring such lette'
to any lady Of good social position he. hal
nothing further to do but deliver 1t. and Il
she takes him up and introduces him hi
social position is made. But this good
fortune cannot be commanded always Of
often. Young men often pass through
lonely life in great city. never finding the
desired opportunity.
But to some it comes through friend
ship on the cricket ground, at the clubs OF
through business. If Q friend says to some
ladies that Tilden is good fellow. Tilden
will be sought out and invited. 1tishardly
creditable to any young man to live In
great city without knowing the best ladies'
society. He shou Id seek to do 30. and per-
haps the simplest way would be for him to
ask some friend to take him about and to In
troduce him. Once introduced Tilden
should be particular not to transcend the
delicate outlines of social suffrance. He
must not Immediately rush into An init
macy.
One Hour for . Call.
A call should never be too long. One
hour is all that a woman of the world says
should be granted to q caller. This rule is
| good one for an evening visit. 1t is much
better to have ones hostess wishing for q
longer visit than to have her sigh that you
should 60. In q first visit a gentleman
should always send in his card. After that
he may dispense with that ceremony.
A gentleman for an evening visit should
always be in evening dress, black cloth
dress coat, vest and pantaloons, faultless
linen and white cravat, silk stockings and
| polished low shoes. A black cravat is per-
missible, but it is not full dress. He should
| carry o crush hat in his hand, and a cane if
he likes. For dinner party a white cravat
| is Indispensable; a man must wear it then.
No jewelry of any kind is fashionable ex-
| cepting rings. Men can hide their watch
chains in evening dress. The hands should
be especially cared for, the nails carefully
cut and trimmed. No matter how big or
how red the hand is, the more masculine the
better. Women like men to look manly, a.
If they could drive, row. play ball, cricket,
perhaps "handle the gloves"
Ell quette Of q Theater Party.
We will suppose that Tilden becomes
sufficiently we'll acquainted to be asked to
join theater party. He must be punctual
at the rende zvous, and take whatever part
ner the hostess may give him, but in the
East he must not offer to send carriage;
that must come from the giver of the party.
In this, Eastern and Western etiquette are
at variance, as in certain cities west and
south gentleman 10 expected to call in
carriage and take young lady to party.
This would be ruin in Europe, nor 10 1t al
lowed In Boston or New York.
II, however, Tilden wishes to give thss-
ter party, he must furnish everything. He
first asks lady to chaperon his party. He
Al.,kc N .Lnn - l.
or O friends house. He must charter an
omnibus or send carriages for the whole
party; he must buy the tickets. He Is then
expected 10 invite his party to sup with him
after the theater, making the feast AZ hand
some as his means allow. This 10 favorite
and proper manner for young man to re-
turn the civilities offered him. It 10 indis-
pensable that he should have the mother OF
one ot the Young ladies present. The Gus
tom OF sending such party with only very
young chaperon hes fallen properly Into dis
reputs. or course, Il takon BY lady. she
aSsumss the responsibility, and IL 10 an un-
take e young man anywhere. She 10 his
Some Notes About Dress.
In th4 early evening q young man should
wear tho heavy, loosely. fitting English
clothes noA 30 fashionable, but Tor On after
noon prone ade with lady, or for o reoep-
tlon, q frock coat tightly buttoned, gray
pantaloons, tlneat Ito and plain gold pin 70
very good iorh. And this dress 10 allowed
at small dinfer IN the country OF for Q
Sunday tea.
II tho men srsoif In tho Adirondacks, II
flannel 10 the only\wear, there 10 no dressing
for dinner; but Ia p country house where
there are guests 1t ID better to make o full
evening toilet, unless the hostess gives abso'
luton. At any ratea there should be some
change, clean linen, Q fresh coat, fresh
shoes, etc., etc., even In the quiet retire.
frequent baths. much exercise In the
open aif, these are the admirable
customs Of young gentlemen Of the present
day. II every one Of Them, no matter how
busy, how hard worked, could come home,
take warm bath aud dress for dinner, 1t
would be an admirable plan. Indeed,
il all American men like all En-
glish men would show this attention to
their wives, society would be far more ele-
CANT. A man always EXPECTS his wife to
dress for him, why should he not dress for
her? He is then ready ior evening visits,
operas, parties, theaters. wherever he may
wish to 60. No man shoul& sit down to at
o'clock dinper, unless freshly dressed.
A Servant Along for Y Drive.
If Tilden can afford to keepAa tilbury or a
dog cart and fine horses, so mi ch the better
for him. He can take young girl to drive
If her mamma consents, but servant should
sit behind. That is indispens able, and the
livery. the whole arrangement should be
elegant. Tilden, if lie would succeed, must
not be fashy, and as true ref1 1ement comes |
from within let him read the 4oble descrip- |
tion of Thackeray: "What isl it to be O |
gentleman? Is it to be honestI to be gentle,
to be generous, to be true, to bie brave to be |
wise, and possessing all thess qualities TO |
exefcise them in the most gehte manner2 |
Ought gentleman to be loyal son, a true |
husband and honest father? Ought his life |
to be descent, his bills to be Haid, his tastes |
TO be high and elegant? Yea thousand
times, yesp'
Young men who come to a5great city to
live are sometimes led astray 3by the success |
Of gaudy adventurers who do bot fall within |
the lines of the above desert lion, men who
"get on" by means of enormo o{ns impudence,
selfassurance, audacity and plausible ways.
But if they have patience d hold to the
right, the gentleman will cceed and the
adventurer will fail. No & oh man lasts
long. Give him rope enou b and he Will
soon hang himself
The Rules of CIu1 life.
It is not necessary here I'd )referao the etl-
quette of clubs. They are self-protecting. |
A man soon learns their roles and lmita-
lions. A man Of honesty and character
seldom gets into difficulty bt his club. II |
his club rejects or pronounj.es against him,
however, 1t 10 social Stigma which II is
hard to wipe out. A yoNing man should
ose no opportunity Of improving himself.