The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-11-12
"SAVE YOUR TEETH"
An Experience in Dentists Cha r
That Will Appeal to All Of Us.

An Experience in a Dentists Cha r
That VIII Appeal to All Of Us. i
When a dentist says to you that he
can "saye your teeth" tell him that
you would rather die toothless than
be ground to atoms, stabbed to the
nerve centres, prodded with a buzz
saw and gagged with large sections OF
India rubber sheets, merely to save a
few bits OF undesirable bone. The first
thing the dentist did to me when he
undertook to "save' my teeth, was
to tip me back in a chair and prop
open my mouth with stick. Then
he lined my mouth with rubber and
attached weights to that portion OF
the lining which hung outside. Then
he put a bib under my. chin and stood
off a little way and gloated over me.
| tried to tell him what l thought Of
him, but was past articulate speech.
"Pleasant afternoon said he, tax,
ing up g. battle-axe and stepping
on a high stool where he could
overlook the field of operation.
After he had quarried a cavity, and
blasted it out, he called an assistant
and babe him turn a freddie. A big
humble bee Immediately flew out. OF
the revolving spokes and charged at
the newl y made cavity as though it
was a flower cup full Of honey [ saw
stars, I heard a million slate pencils
squeaking over gritty surface. I felt
cold hands toying with each particu-
lar vertebra OF my spine, and a Wat
erbury watch seemed merrily winding
in each ear. I tried again to speak,
but my efforts were in vain I would
have given uncounted gold just to
swallow. How little we appreciate
our blessings until deprived Of them!
How unmindful of my opportunities
had been all through those vanished
years when I could swallow or not
swallow, as the mood overlook me-
What countless times Ihad performed
that blessed act unwittingly, and now
l would have sold my birthright (if
had one) for the power to repeat the
blessed operation.
It is generally just at this juncture
when, between the pangs of delayed
degutition and the consciousness of
predetermined drooling, the spark Of
reason bids fair to be extinquished
forever, that the dentist begins to Joke
What avails the majestic glance OF, a
wrathful eye when the lower features
are swathed in a damp sheet? My
attempt at scornful protest was like
the attempt OF a teething babe tohurl
the sevenfold curse OF Rome. Alarm
ed perhaps at the pallor which / knew
FULL well was creeping over my face, my
tormentor finally removed the stick
from between my teeth and gave me
one more chance to swallow and, to
appreciate to it's full what the poet
meant when he carolled the glad re-
frain, "Wipe off your chinp'
"You can come again Saturday."
said the dentist as I reeled across the
floor and donned my hat tsI shall
never come againl' said 1 in hollow
tones like a voice from the tomb. s!sYou
will lose your teethifyou DON'T" said
he. "Yes?" whispered I, leaning nv
tottering frame against the door post
for support. "And what if | prefer to
loose my teeth rather than lose nv
reason and my life? What | have
suffered IN your den, old man--he was
a gray headed villain Of full sixty sum-
mers, has shattered my nerves for
years to come. The horror have en-
dured with your buzz-saws and your
attle-axes, your patent by 8 drills
and your circula traction gathering
rams has been more OF loss in men
tai strength and physical aplomb than
to have laid down every tooth have
in the dust. When you have patent
ed a process by which dentistry is
made not any more painful than gull
loting shall call again; until then,
old man, adieu!' N. B.Pride will
make any woman tell the worst sort
OF fibs. Notwithstanding my vow, /
shall be on hand Saturday, and that
dentist knows it. Chicago Herald.