The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
HUMOROUS.

Sorry He Asked.-He-"Can you
tell me what IS eaten at love-feast?"
She-"Why, ice cream, of course I'm
diapapolis journal.
-"When I marry" explained the
lieutenant, my wife must have suffi-
cient dowry for me to support her both
in style and comfort "-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
-She-"When she said yes I sup
pose you kissed her." He-''Yes." She
And suppose your kiss was sweet
ness long drawn out?" He-"Yes; it
got entanglcd with her chewing-gum.
Epoch.
-Clara-''Such queer pair of eyes
as that child has! One is black and the
other blue" Charles-''That's moth
ing. I have known one of my own eyes
to show the same characteristics. -
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
Their Black Eyes.
Black were the eyes-as black as jet
OF the country maid knew;l
kissed her and her lover came,
And mine are jet black too.
IN. Y. Herald.
n A>ON dud 1duJ lCCCAbly COOh
advantage of her husbands indulgence
in a bath to elope with another man.
The bereaved one expressed the convic.
ton that she had been waiting for the
opportunity for months.-Texas Sift-
ings.
-Convict-'Excuse me. ma am, YOU
dropped your handkerchief" Lady Wis
itor-''Thank you; you are very good"
Convict eagerly)-"Say, ma'am, you
couldn't manage to persuade the gov'nor
of that somehow, could yer?"-Somer.
vile Journal.
This Is Mechanical Age.-Mrs.
Brown lat Mrs. Smiths tea)--"O, dear,
that dreadful Miss Smith is singing
again. l wonder what started her."
Tom Brown Jagged SEVENTH dropped
nickel down her back when she wasn't
looking."-N. Y. Continent.
"A Slight Saving Possible.-Phy-
sician-"I'll give him something that'll
get him on his feet, and then we'll in
crease his appetite, and he'll be all
right" Economical Wife-'Get him on
his feet, doctor; but-er-never mind
the other. "-Saturday Evening Herald.
Her Open Confession
look happy to-day. What's happened
to cheer you up so p Charlie-"I've
been counting a girl for long time.
but she never would admit that she re-
spected me. But last night she con-
fessed that she respected me no longer,
that she loved me-"
-Daughter-''What were you saying,
mother? You speak so indistinctly
lately that can't understand half you
say" Old Lady with dignity. )-"I
was speaking to myself, Sue. And l
think you had better consult a physi.
clan about your hearing. never have
the slightest difficulty in understand.
ing myself. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Two little children recently went
to church alone in Westfeld. They be-
came tired during the long sermon, and
the older one,- supposlng that school
rules held good in church, led his sister
up in front of the preacher and said:
please, sir, may we 60 home ?" He
said YES" and they soberly Wake d
out.-New Moon.
-Ihe Man. OF the HouSe.-"What are
you sitting on that step for?" asked the
policeman. ''Why, 1 live here, and I'm
locked out" swell, why don't you
ring up the man of the house?'' II am
the man of the house myself" and the
way he said it indicated his chances OF
getting in might be better if he had
been the woman.
What are you. grounds for this
breach of promise suit?" asked the law.
yer, cheerfully. ''Of course you were
engaged; that is to say, he asked you to
marry him, and you accepted?" .Oh,
no." she replied; but he used to kiss
me whenever he wanted to, and put his
arm around my waist, and visited us all
his vacation, and borrowed money OF
papa, and beat brother Jack awfully at
poker, and made him an afghan-and
isn't that Observation-Disclosures Life