The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-09-18
NAILS THAT wHIsTLEp.
A Joke that made 10000 Men
Think the Enemy was Near.
kansas City Times

Prices army.
"You know we were away down in
the brush in southwest Missouri, where
we were all cut off from the world and
couldn't get any news from the outside,
Well, the story got started somehow that
the Yankees had invented new powder
"a kind that burned with no smoke, no
flash and no noise. Pretty soon they,
were talking about it in every regiment,
worrying over the thing, and reviving
the devilish ingenuity of the Yankee.
There was nothing to talk about, and
you know how it is in big body Of idle
men.
"There was one fellow that took great
stock in the noiseless powder story. 1t
bothered him all the time. This was
Bill Oliver, of Colonel Winston's Second
Missouri. Bill came from up here at
Platte City. He was blacksmith, a
strapping great big fellow, strong as a
horse. He weighed, I reckon, 200
pounds.
"One black night Bill was put out in
the brush on picket duty. Now, he was
just as gritty fighter as you ever saw
in line with man on either side Of him,
but tell you, my boy, set a man out in
dark thicket all alone and the enemy
known to be near and supposed to be
everywhere, it takes all the starch out Of
the best of them.
WRESTLING NAILS.
$50 Bill was trembly and shaky and
saw Yankee sharpshooters everywhere.
''Now, in the same regiment they had
daredevil, harum scarum fool-Reub
Hill. This Reub Hill was the kind of a
specimen every regiment hasa pestif-
erous practical joker-a nuisance that
everybody liked. Here was rich chance
for one of Reuben's little jokes. Soon
as Bill had got settled at his post Reuben
loaded his pocket with dozen or so big
wrought iron nails, and out through the
dark he circled to get in front of the
pickets. He hid in sassafras brush
about hundred feet from the big black
smith and looked out.
"There was Bill tiptoeing up and down
his beat like an elephant on a rickety
bridge, lodging and whirling every time
grasshopper chirped or horse back in
the camp snorted. He was getting badly
scared. Reuben picked up right rag
ged nail and flung it just as hard as he
could jerk.
"You know what vicious screeching
nail makes when you throw 1t that
way? No mimic ball ever sounded wick
eder. It goes:
'Whi-u-u-u-up
Poor Bills heart stopped with big
thump like sledgehammer, and Reu-
ben, away off in the thicket, heard him
catch his breath as If some one had
dropped bucket of ice water on him,
His big bulk dropped in the weeds like q
sack of sand, and for about a minute
there was not the sound Of a breath.
Then the big picket muttered shakily;
'Sho, I'm gittin skeery as woman with
thinkin Of them Yanks an their new
tangled powder And he got up and
began warily to walk his beat. /
''Reuben let go another of his nails,
and third just as quick as he could
throw. They went whirring blood
thirstily toward William, and one of
them ripped through the leaves over his
head, scattering twigs and bits of leaf
all about. II
AN ARMY IN READINESS.
"There was no doubt about 1t this
time, and big Bill, as he let his musket
off wildly In the air, charged for camp,
sputtering, putting, yelling, tearing up
weeds and sod and bolting into trees.
His trail looked like the track of young
cyclone. Into the camp he plunged,
over men and tents, musket stacks and
cook trenches. 1t is an actual fact that
he ran over little foraging pony that
was tied to tree and couldn't get out
OF the way, knocked the poor beast down
and crippled it for a week. His head
way was terrific. He finally brought up
full tilt against tough little hickory
sapling, which he ran down like a moose,
landing up in the leafy top with his
hands clawing at the boughs.
'He walked every man in the regi-
ment. Down the line went shouts and
bugle calls. Within ten minutes every
one Of Prices 10000 men was in line Of
battle, staring into the darkness for the
enemy's advance guard, listening for the
purr of their silently fired bullets.
"Of course, the enemy did not come,
~eNS eA<S AASA 10Y Oi buCl1 ctllIo dll luSAbs
Reuben was too tickled over the way
Bill tore through the brush to keep quiet.
Next day every man In the army had the
story. But 1t did not take well with
the officers. A corporals guard came
after Reuben and put irons on him, and
his little joke was ponderously consider
ed by court martial. That afternoon
came news of the enemy in deadly ear
nest, and Price set out on one Of his
long, forced marches. Reuben went
along. He took with him by especial re-
guest of the court martial full sized
black oak fence rail, soggy with sap. He
was charged carefully not to lose that
rail for three days.
"'The first day. said the disconsolate
joker after it was all done, that rail felt
pretty heavy, just like an ordinary rail.
Next day it felt like whole tree, but,
my! on the last day thought was car
rying all the woods
sit is still an open question among the
boys OF Winston's regiment whether the
Joke was on William or Reuben"
The Evidence CoIn,ad I,..ev