The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-03-26
MISCELLANEOUS.


- shouldn't care so much about
the bugs" said thin. pale lodger. ''bnt
the fact il, ma am. hain't got the blood
to spare"
1t is not generally known that
chamois money belts are worn by
great many New York women of means.
The gir.ile is close fitting. and provided
with pockets for carrying money. jew
elry and keys.
-Rebecca-"Ernest has asked me to
wait for him little while, father. lie
will soon get rich: he says there is no
such word as fail" Einstcin-"Ernest
is evidently decidedly ignorant young
man. Rebecca: will get you a young
man who knows that word"
Little Johnnie had just returned
from a star chamber meeting at which
his mother had treated him to laying
on of slipper. Amidst tears he turned
to his little sister and said: Don't
wish grandpa hadn't thrown that slip
per when ma got married. She just
throws it at me ever since. "-St. Joseph
News.
A Rad Man.--John Pcals was ar
rested in Kansas for malicious trespass.
He promised the sheriff not to dir his
way ont Of Jail If left unmatched but
inside of three days he went through
the brick wall. stole the sheriff's horse
and buggy, and then took Mrs. Sheriff
in with him and galloped away to parts
unknown.
A Georgia man has two of the best
policemen in his service in the state.
There is one peculiar trait about them,
and that is that they never go to sleep
and never get off their beats. They arc
two enormous geese. They march up
and down regular beat in front of his
house at night. aud whenever anything
enters the yard at night they begin yell
ing like comanchc warriors.
A Dallas, Texas. man, who goes to
Jail twenty times year for intoxica-
ton. only got three days the last time
on account of mistake made by the
police clerk, who. in making out the
papers. placed his sentence at three
days instead of thirty. Now he threat
ems to sue the city for damages for
obliging him to stay out of Jail twenty
seven days longer than he was accus-
toned and entitled to.
A few days ago the three-and-a-half-
year-oid son of John Kennedy. of Ne
vada City. Col. strayed from home and
got lost in the mountains near by. He
wandered around until nightfall and
then. like the babes in the story book,
scrapcd some leaves together and slept
on the improvised couch until daybreak.
lie then made his way to ranch,
where he was found by the men who
were searching for him.
Don't Apply.-If you wear side
whiskers don't apply to the Pennsyl'
vania Central railroad for job. 1t has
long been the rule on that road and its
branches not to employ side-whiskered
man in any capacity. and you couldn't
even get job as fiayman at a street
crossing. What the theory is has not
been explained, but it is there just the
same.-Detroit Free Press.
A spark from locomotive on the
caused The burning of wheat crop
The company being sued for damage
showed that the fire was caused by a
locomotive of the Santa Fe company.
lessee of the road, and the United
States court sustained the position that
the lessor was not liable for the acts
the lessee - an important principle, o.
wide application.
Attorney sullivan. of Crescent.
Iowa. recently was detained to defend a
man for hog stealing. When the officer
went after the property another hog
was found with the one wanted. This
the defendant claimed was his own, but
it has since proved to be the property of
Mr.. Sullivan. Since the lawyer must
be sure of the innocence of his client,
he will be expected to defend him
against stealing his own hog. The only
way for the attorney to get even is to
win the case and take both hogs for his
fec.
Fourteen dollars for the simplest
gold key-ring. And all the girls have
them. with some such quotation as this
inscribed: "A mans tongue is the key
to his heart or ''In changing keys
there is safety" 1.-The key of fate is
in our hands, Turn the key up on
my love-" IA key confines. key re-
leases" "A golden key unloclss every
door save that of happiness" Strung
on these pretty gold bands are the
bracelet key, the key to the forever
and-ever box and the key to- miladys
trunk, club locker and front
door.
The origin of the National Marine
Band at Washington is most curious.
Nearly a hundred years ago a Yankee
captain kidnapped strolling troop of
musicians on the shores of the bay Of
Naples and brought them to this coun-
try. From this handful Of Italians the
band was developed. The descendants
of these stolen Italians are now among
the wealthiest people of Washington.
Some of them are prominent lawyers.
and others have their names connected
with the best-known hotels and the
largest real estate Offices in the capital
city.
A citizen of Santa Rosa lost colt.
1t srayed away. His boy went to him
and asked him how much he would give
him II he would find him. The father
replied that he would give him a dollar
but how much svnuld you give another
boy?" queried the son. Il would give
any other S2.5O," replied the p.:ent. 1t
was not long before a neighbours lad
appeared with the lost colt, and the
owner promptly paid the boy $3.50
Then the neighbours lad went around
the corner, where stood the son of the
man who owned the colt. and divided
with him.-Santa Rosa Cali Repub-
lican.
SEEING A JOKE.