Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-10-07
Hezekiah Budlt-ngs Walk.

fashionable block in West Steenth-st,
New York, says the Tribune. Now,
HeZekiah has lately been reading about
the importance of walking as an excr-
else, and, after thinking the matter
over, he determined to walk every day
from his house to his office. So the
other morning, after making his will
and bidding good-by to his family
for Hezekiah is a methodical man-he
sailed out from his elegant home with
the elation and anxiety that great ex.
plorers always feel.
He swore softly to himself when the
Outler of his neighbor, Jinks, who
was cleaning the sidewalks, swept
about half bucket of water on. him.
But when two other buffers did the
same thing before he got to Fifth-ave., &,
his language became not only explo.
sive, but extremely audible. Inasmuch
however, as it was raining so hard that
an umbrella was useless, he finally con-
cluded that he would get wet anyhow,
and therefore the modus operandi was
a matter of small consequence.
He then turned into Fifth-ave. and
was beginning to enjoy the stroll down
that justly admired thoroughfare when
he was almost sickened by the odor
from an exposed and leaking sewer
pipe. But he didn't have time to think
of that long before his nostrils were
assailed by another odor equally vile,
which came from wagon filled with
garbage of an evidently ancient vim
tage. Just at that moment, too, he
passed an ashman, who was in the act
of emptying large sized ashcan. As
the rain had ceased and the wind had
come up, Mr.. Budlong's wet garments
were at once covered with thick coat
ing of the best grade of Lehigh Valley
red ashes.
The ruin to his clothes was bao
enough, but what tried Hezekiah's tenn
per most was that the ashes blinded
him SO that he did not see a window
washer who was using one of those
long handled scrubbers with great Wig
Or and energy. OF course, therefore,
Hezekiah came into collision with him,
for it is a well-known fact that no
window-washer ever looks out for pc
destrians; he works on the theory that
he owns the sidewalk and the breadth
thereof. The result of the collision
was that HeZekiah was hit on the nose
with the end of the long pole. This
aroused the indignation of the honest
window washer, who denounced him
as q vile "chump," ''fer gittin' in der
way" No further mishsps occurred
until Hezekiah WAS crossing to Broad
way, when he slipped in the slime
which coveres that historic street, and
came within an ace of being run over
by street car and brewery wagon.
After going into barber shop and
paying a quarter to have his clothes
brushed, he pursued his journey down
Broadway. He had not gone far be-
fore a subway worker hit him in the
stomach with a shovelful of odorifer
ous dirt, and while he was giving the
grinning NAVY piece of his mind, a
falling electric wire hit him on the
head. Naturally he expostulated with
the careless workman who had dropped
he wire, but the only reply of that
individual was, ''Oh, wot's der matter
wid yer; Der wires dead" This
'etort was hugely enjoyed by all the
oystanders, and Hezekiah felt that he
Was looked upon as a crank of the
worst kind.
1t would be impossible to relate all
he troubles of Hezekiah on this terrible
alp. lie finally reached his office more
dead than alive, and it was fully a
week before he recovered from the
effects of his adventure. He has not
since tried to walk down town, and,
it is almost needless 10 say, nc has firm.
ly resolved never to do so again.