Connecticut western news., 1891-04-01

T. jQ of grate bliss, and trust these " lines will find you enjoying
 the same blessins. I'm re- JJ (, guvinated. I've found the
 immortal waters of yooth, so to speak, and am as Timber and frisky as a two-year-old steer, and in the futur them boys which sez to me go up, old Bawld hed," will do so at the peril of their hazard, individually. I'm very happy. My house is full of joy, and have to git up nights and larf! Sum- times ax myself lis it not dream?" & suthin withinto me sez "it air." but when look at them sweet little critters and hear lem squawk, l know it is a reality-2 realitys, may say-and l feel gay.
 with my unparaleld show of wax works and Twin wild Beests of Pray in the early part of this munth. The peple of Ba1dinsville met me cordully and i'm mejitly commenst restin myself with my famerly. The other mite while was down to the tavern tostin my shins agin the bar room fire & amuzin the ,krowd with sum of my adventurs, who shood cum in bare headed and terrible excited but Bill Stokes, who sez, sez he, "Old : Ward, there's grate doins up to your house,
 Sez 1, William, how so?"
 grate doins," 6 then he larfed as if heed kill hisself.
 Sez l, risin and putin on austeer look, "William, l woodunt be fool if had common cents."
 But he kept on larfn till he was black in the face, when ha fell over on to the bunk where the ho9:lt.r sleeps, and in a still small voice sed, Twins" 1 ashure you gents that the grass didn't grow under my feet on my way home, 6 was follered by enthusiastic throng of my feller sitterzens, who hurrard for Old Ward at the top of their voises. found the house chock full of peple Thare was Mis- Square Baxter and her three grown up darters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Par suns. Deakun Simmuns folks, the Skool- master, Doctor Jordin, etsetterry, etset- terry. Mis- Ward was in the west room, which lines the kitchin. Mis- Square Baxter was mixin suthin in dipper be- fore the kitchin fire, & small army of female wimin were rushin wildly round the house with bottles of camfre, peaces of fannil, sc. never seed such hub bub in my natral born dase. cood not stay in the west room only a mint, so strung up was my feelins, so rusht out and ceased my dubbel barrild gun.
 What upon airth ales the man?' sez Taberthy Ripley. Stakes alive, what air you doin?' 6 she grabd me by the coat tales. Whats the matter with you?' she continnerd.
 'Twins, marm,' sez I, ''twins!''
 II know it," sez she, coverin her pret- ty face with her apun.
 "Wall." sez l. that's what's the mat ter with me!''
 "Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky old fool," sed she.
 ''No, marm," sez I, "this is Nash unal day. The glory of this here day isn't confined to Baldinsville by darn site. On yonder woodshed," sed I, drawin myself up to my full hite and speakin in show actin voice, twill fire Nashunal saloot!' saying which l tared myself from her grasp and rusht to the top of the shed whare blazed away until Square Baxter's hired man and my son Artemus Juneyer cum and took me down by mane force.
 On returnin to the Kitchin I found quite a lot of people seated be4 the fire. a tallzin the event over. They made room for mo & sot down. "Quite g eppisode," sed Doctor Jordin, litin his pipe with red-hot coal. t
 'Yes," said l, 'the episodes, way ing abowt 13 pounds jintly."
 "A perfeck coop de tat, sed the skool- master
 "E pluribus unum, in proprietor per sony," sed 1, thinking I'd let him know understood turin langwidges as well as he did, if wasn't a skoolmaster.
 ''It is indeed a momentious event." said young Eben Parsuns, who has been quarters to the Akademy
 ''I never heard twins called by that name afore," sed 1, ''but spose it's all rite."
 I've shall soon have Wards enuff,'' '' sed the editor of ths Baldinsville Buqle of Liberty. who was lookin over a bundle of exchange papers in the corner, ito apply to the legislator for a City Char teri"
 Good for you, old man!" sed I; s'giv that air conspickius place in the next Bugle."
 E.e sot there talkin <& larfn until "the switchin hour of mite, when grave yards yawn & Josts troop 4th," as old Bill Shakespire aptlee obsarves.
 Muther & childEen is doin well.
 QSSAW A1SAA6IE RIO1UN