Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1891-05-07

woman who knows ii is mean enough
to keep the secret to herself. She feels
that she has to pay Il high price for it,
and she don't propose to sell her in
formation. Women are mean about
some things. A well known barber says
that Mrs. Langtry used combination
of vaseline and lamp black to darken
and make glossy her hair, but it sounds
like such messy mixture that is taken
with grain of salt-the information,
mean, not the vaseline and lamp black.
Brushing your hair will give it a shine,
but to make ii of the gloss desired you
have got to use something else. And,
by-the-by, it may be mentioned for the
protection of Charlie, Harry and Tom,
that the real stuff leaves no grease in
the locks, and that the girl whose head
makes a mark on coat isn't the one
who knows the secret of the gloss.
NEW YoRK's NEW FARCE.
Don't you like farcesg / do. l am
getting desperately tired of emotional
things, of plays that get me up to g in
sorrow, make me cry until my nose is
red, and take away my appetite for
supper, But | like the real, true,
veritable farce, and | saw one the other
night. 1t was called "Mr. Wilkinson's
Widows" and, besides being extremely
funny, it pointed moral and adorned
tale. II showed how lacking in wis
dom is the man who concludes that
women don't find out things, and il
showed how full of wisdom is the man
who marries the widow. 1t told in the
most delightful manner of the joys that
came from taking as your chosen one
the woman who had gone through the
mill before and who, consequently, was
going to get her own way in sucha way
that you thought it your way. laughed
over "Mr. Wilkinson's Widows until |
think it would have done Mr. Willzin-
son good to have gotten up from his
grave and come and seen me. | think
he saved me from an attack Of the grip.
| laughed over
THE STORY OF A DIAMOND NECKLACE
which had been entered on his other ac-
count more than anybody else in the
house, because / know from confiding
bookkeeper in big jewelry shop how
many men keep double accounts, how
many clerks had been discharged for
congratulating wives on rings and
bracelets that Were never bought for
them, and how many bills there were
,lut were sent "down-town" rather
than to "the house" Ii was not re-
markable that Mr.. Wilkinson's widows
got married again. They were two ex-
tremely fetching looking women, who
knew how to put on their gowns, and
how to make life more or less comforta-
BILE to u man: In fact, Mr.. Wilkinson's,
while a little above the average, might
yet be called typical widows, and that
they welded again is only in the natu-
raj order of events. If it happens to
come near you, 60 and see it, for Mr..
Wilkinson's widows and their spouses,
and Mr.. Wilkinson's picture will make
you laugh until you get the best appe-
tite for supper you have ever had, and
nowadays, when we are all wondering
whether we are going to get the grip or
the typhoid fever, or the mulligrubs, or
goodness only knows what, anything
that gives an appetite is to be greeted
with open arms, or whatever may be
your method of expressing satisfaction.
THE MAN WHO is A CAD.
Some women were talking the other
day about cads, and they said that while
the snob may be found among women,
the cad is essentially masculine. He is
prevalent at times. He comes up like
weeds and the spring freckles, and with
a little care he can be extinguished al
most as easily.
He spends his time in thinking what
rude things he can say or do. OF course,
he don't think they arc rude, he thinks
they are clever.
He has an idea that people who keep
quiet don't know anything. In this he
is frequently mistaken.
He does not believe that any woman
can see him and not love him. this is
often an error on his part He is salts
fed that after seeing him Providence
to make the world; and yet
Providence is not given to mistakes.
He occupies three seats in street car,
audibly damns the conductor, smirks at
any woman who may be decently
dressed, and believes that he is accepted |
az man Of the world. He is; but not
Of the world that he would wish to be-
long to.
lie tells women it was pity he didn't |
know them younger, SO that he might |
have trained them; if he had, they would |
have occupied cells in the House Of De-
tentlon.
He has induced some girl to marry
him, and he announces boldly that it is |
q good thing on both sides, Some people
doubt this.
He has the latest thing in carriages,
in trousers, and in waistcoats, but
while he gets his hats from a
London halter, and Poole makes his
coats, brains don't seem to accumulate
under "the only hat gentleman could
wear"
He has one fully developed idea, and
that is that he is gentleman. He never
was more mistaken in his life.
He never got close enough to gentle
man to catch good manners, nor to d
man to be well kicked
He is blot upon the face of the uni
verse, Lets sponge him out. BAB.
n 70