New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-01-18
THE TdLh or THE D4 r

The Mercer the first issue of which has just ~.
peared i published by Joseph W. Gibson a Co.. Of
No. 757 Broadway. and has F. b. DE Berard for It's
editor Like many other class journals Of the pres
ent il Is marvel OF beautiful and artistic Typography
while it, contents will bc deeply interesting to the
great and honorable guild Of mercers.
THE FEMININE PRESCRIPTION CLERK.
What Won making, my pretty maid
Nothing much with smile, size SAID.
But for the result I grew rather afraid.
A. the wonderful nothing much was maze
With strycllnine and quinnc she gently played.
And arsenic was just a. good unweighed As wegnse@
Gay dashes al oxides aud suphaes she made
And stable drops on the mixture were laid
ON potassium cyanide she then made rad;
While my hair did uprise and my color did fade.
What is IT, now that 1t is done. fair maid"
oh! nothing much, sir, ! guess. slie SAID.
And who did prescribe IT, my drugstore maidf'
Nobody but lady VI. D. she said.
""ris truly marvellous dose You've made
This nothing from nothing. oh, mixing maid.
-(PlldImaCeutIcal Ira.
mysterious company is sending out mysterious
circular reading: Upon receipt Of ten dollars $50
we will press your trousers per our subscription
plan. from until January I. 1892 Apparently
the motto Of the concern is: We press the trousers
you do the rest. Ten dOals please
The American Abroad-Brown TO Robinson. who
has been abroad-tnd so you have returned from yonf
the old World TO the tombs Of statesmen martyrs ana
To the sublime man H g sse rS% DONE "'
Robinson (proudly)-i have raised beard-tpucH'
You think you know what servant is. Well. don't
be 100 sure about il. Not long ago Rhode Island
gentleman died. directing in his will that the sum OF
81 900 be equally divided among his servants Ana
when the division made the woman VINO nan
washed the windows Of h> house was left ont on the
ground that ,he did not technically come under ths
designation Of a servant. OF course she has brought
suit TO find why this is thus. and the lawyers
may bc expected to make pretty fight over Inc
point whether the washing Of widow is mental
act de lure or only a mental act de mcio.
Mamma said little girl whose thirst for IN.
formation mas several time, proved embarrassing does
Portuguese mean all the people In Portugil!'
Tie word NAV be used IN that way -, .
Well mamma Il yen mean on r one OF 'heH 90
English writer's have frequently referred to tho
phra,e too thin a. an "eXecrable Americansm';
but As a matter Of fact. It's paternity is English The
Rev Dr. William Cave, who was born In 1887, In ms
life Of 81 Athanasius. said: For procuring synod
10 DO called at Antioch. Eustachus Is charged az
heterodox in the fath though they knew that TOO tn
to hold water And l1anS years ater' LORD 'hah
cellOr Eldon m one ~ pinon> declared cannon
agree that reasonable notice is subject too thin for
jury TO act upon
TIE CANDY PULL.
You kin talk about yr op'rs. yr germans an all sch
N'r afternoon receptions an them pleasures o the ric
You kin feast upon yr choclat an y'r creams an
But none q them is ekai to good old candy pull.
For Their isn't any perfume like the 'ss,cs the fire.
\ bubblin an a dancn a. II keeps risin' higher:
while the spoon goes stirin stirrin, I'LL The kttles
No. | RELY think TIERS nothn' like good old candy
pull
II, true miss the music. an the bathrooms crush
But Their isn't any bitter that stays behind the sweet.
An think the world ID be better an It's cup o JOY
full
II we only had pleasures like the good old candy
"A. Il. Luce. in Minneapolis Journal.
over It's dispatches the other day about the Kansas
Icg Stature The Cincinnati Enquirer put the follow
INK rhymnG headline: They Have Plenty of Sense But
Not Many Dollars. Thy Wear Black Ties and Lay
down Collars In the Hall Of the House There Is Nary
Tile. They Are There for Business and Not for STYLE
We're Fresh from the Country and somewhat Green,
But VIII soon be Able to Run the Machine
TIE AMERICAN PSALM OF LIFE.
Get wigglc on. my lad, y
Don't walk at a funeral pace,
Don't stand lazy, moping, sdd
Don't sit with that drowsy face.
Hustle around and do your share,
In the town. or I'm the bu>h
Rustic here. and hustle there;
Hustle, rustic, hustle, push'
Push out; don't stand idly by:
You viii gel there Il You try;
swing your shoulders, brace your kneeA
Don't live in a little den,
Don't 60 half starved, hungry, cold.
Pigs were made for such pen,
Wiggle, work, and push out bold.
Don't Jump il your shadow moves
II the world won't 70 with you,
Let ID slip In Its old grooves
strike out bold try something new.
Get "A wggle on, my lad
Get Il hustle I'm your talk;
Get a rustic on get mad;
Get q hustle in your walk-tfankee Blade
4 Maine clergyman did not object to sweeping ne
church making the fires and ringing the bell Whens
however the people swore at him, ate peanuts and
laughed aloud in church. threw stones at his house ana
fired revovers at him. he thought II was time 10 re-
sign lie now writes to local paper 10 explain that
ill-hellh was not the cause of his resignation III
cerg, man can through such experiences ana thfNs
on them lie ought TO lind enough admirers OF MS pucs
To furnish him large congregation wherever he may
80.
soclety.-She-who is that blond yonng man VIII"
the eye glass ,, ,,, u,,s a terrible
character. . .,.. him,
lie Who is that he's dancing with l. A.,
She--Oh that's Mrs. Blanhety Blanh, that ""i~'
lie OH BY Jovc, Is that shei Oh. say, WI s"s
Introduce me ?-lBostQn BealoIAs