The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-07-07
BRIGHT BITS.
"AMEwICA for Amewicans?"
YOUNG AIBy CTIbu OF IAlt.
"Ah!" said his friend; land when do you
4 a

'AMEWICA LOF AueWlCanSE'
Young Algy cried of late.
"Ah!" said his friend; land when do you
Intend to emigrate?'-Puck.
TREY say heaven lies about us in our in
well, we return the compliment in our ma
turer years. Smith GRAY Monthly.
WILL!E-Papa, what does a real fine corn
palace cost?
Willie's Papa with new patent feathers onl-
Twelve dollars pair, my son.-Chtcago Herald.
SHE-Why was it that the creator made
woman after man?
He-Possbly because he wanted to finish the
job before the critic arrived.-NelC York Herald.
LOOK OUT for the man who begins by saying
he is not q Bit superstitious He 10 going to tell
ghost story that would make cold chills run
up and down the backbone of winter.-Detroit
Free Press.
WATTs-Now, why should man seek the
bubble reputation at the cannon's mouth when
the other end Of the gun was so much saferY
Potts-Perhaps he didn't know it was loaded
Indianapolis Journal
YOUNG HUsBAED-My dear. business reverses
have caused me to make an assignment and
Young husband-We viii go abroad and
travel for year or two.-The Epoch.
my first love had red hair and light blue
eyes. 1t Jared upon me terribly at first, but
after awhile forgot all about it.
"WhaI did she do-dye?"
mo; my affection did. "-Pittsbitr0 Dispatch.
WHO Is that standing with young Buckson?''
That's Miss Bishop"
'Ah, yes! She is very religious is she not? ?"
ooh, yes indeed Why last week she played
Camille for the benefit of the Bible society
Life.
1T IT FARMIN' Dennis O'Maley is goin' ter
thry?' said a aboring man.
1T is that same"
why" rejoined the other. scornfulIy, 'he
| don't know enough about farruming to plant is
| feet in the road and raise dust. Cape Ann
Advertiser.
"ONcE upon time said Marshal P Wilder
to group of interested Engishmeh in his hotel
"a little niger sat at table pounding his
| thumb nail with hammer, and the famous
| story teller screwed his face into comical
| grimaces expressive of recurring pain while
| his hands went through the motions suggested
| by the story.
Presently. he continued "a man asked him
what he was doing that for.
Cause whimpered the niger, it feels so
| good when l stopr"-Nelo York Sun.
YoUEG HANKGNsoN (making a call)-You have
| had that parrot long time. Miss Laura?
Miss Laura-Yes we have had him several
years.
quite intelligent, Is he not?"
Very. He can initiate almost anything"
They have remarkably clever parrot over
at the CaSterlins, Miss Laura. 1t can initiate
! the sound OF kiss to perfection. Is that among
the accomplishments of our feathered friend
| here in the cornerP'
Indignantly sir. He does not attempt
an imitation of a sound he is not accustomed to
| hear, Mr. Hankinson.
| The Psrrot-Wait, George, dear, till l take
| this bird ont of the room.-ChicGgO Herald.
| JUDGE GLENN W. SCoFIBLD was a personal
! friend of Abraham Lincoln. A Warren county
| private, having knocked down his CAPTAIN was
| tried convicted and sentenced to the Dry Tortu-
! gas His friends urged Scofeld to have him re-
leased, so he went 10 see the President and told
his story. Listening attentively. Lincoln re-
piled; Il tell you, judge, you go right down to
| the capitol and get congress to pass an act au-
thonzing a private soldier to knock down his
| captain. Then come back here and will par
don your man" The judge says that there was
such en- air OF quIzzical earnestness and desire
to serve him about the Presidents manner that
they both broke out in an outburst of laughter
The judge did not press the case further.-Har.
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