Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1891-04-09

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: csask Gynaass - - Wesasts
Tan somewhat Of IN athletes. sd -
II the habit Of perfnming vaxiam exsr-
cises when have nothing elss % 90 ana
vet held position where It = fmpcrsans
that should present . sentieEnsaiS ~
pearance.
The problem Of how TO prsyeat tsous-
ers from bagging has for long. time r.
CURED to my mind and pressed for sotu-
ton. have tried the various devices
advertised for cure or for prevention- !
have consulted my fashionable frienda,
and even the tailcaa, fondly hoping they
could be induced 70 give themselves
away.
Some Of my friends have solved the
problem by hanging mp in their ward
robes l,095 pairs Of trousers. which ma
neuyer enables them 70 put On fresh
mir morning, noon and night
Now, nv friends and employers esd
mate nv brain power and business quail
iications very nearly a highly as ! do.
Unfortunately, they do not attribute 70
them q very high exchangcsble cash
value
The important thing, therefore, for me
seemed to be to discover way Of max
ing one pair Of trousers last S65 days
without bagging.
Fortunately. have practical mowi
edge of mechanics, and am Of an invent
i've turn of mind. have spent the saw
ings of all my past life in patenting car
couplers, motors q Ia Keely, and flying
machines which very nearly succeeded
in flying. My necessity Matched new
invention.
went to one of the most skillful and
artistic tailors on the Bowery and told
him what l wanted, and at the same
time warned him that had patent on
my idea.
My idea was to get some Of the cement
which enables broken plate to support
a ton of cobble stones and sheet of the
| genuine, old fashioned gum--such as the
old fashioned gum shoes were made Of
| and paste back of the knee an oblong
piece, wide enough and long enough to
cover all that part of the trousers which
| generally bags. The tailor entered into
| my idea enthusiastically. He offered to
| buy the patent outright for twenty dol.
lars. and to give me q royalty of five
cents pair on the first hundred pairs
| which should be sold. REFUSED his mag
unanimous offer, and am "holding for q
RISE"
He thought that il little elasticity
was q good thing great deal -mors
would be better. l think he must have
pasted inside those trousers the soles Of
his grandmother gum shoes.
The first time l went out with thost
trousers on strangers accosted me, and
said they should not have known that
had no legs from my walk if they had
not been informed that l was Crane
Army man and had had both legs shoI
off at the battle of Antietam. The cause
of their delusion was that as lifted eacl
foot from the ground the leg from the
knee suddenly snapped forward.
On the way home from business went
into the NJ. A. c. gymnasium. had ne
time to put on my gymnasium tights, ant
contented myself with taking off coat
vest, collar and cuffs. started in for ,
run. My friends and the director though
| showed poor judgment in starting a
such pace. Some of the crack runner.
were on the track, and at the outset I al
most equaled their fastest spurts.
But, great Scott, how they were dunn
founded when spurted. They said
got around the track at such rate Of
speed that was only visible as con
tinnous curve, diabohc rather than para
bolic. | felt that if ran my tastes
again should need a pedometer with al
air brake attachment. The swift way il
which my feet glided forward and tn,
extent of their reach were especially ad
mired. A crack oarsman's recovery,
they said, was nothing in comparison.
| Jumped the high jump. In fact, if
stopped down suddenly, felt obliged t.
jump up straight into the air severa
feet, broke the records and left thu
pieces far behind me in ''high" ant
broad" jumping, smashed the lifting
machine, and in short did astonishing
feats in all that grade of work where thu
action of the knees comes into play.
was heralded far and wide as a new ant
marvellous sprinter and jumper.
And, best of all, my trousers now never
bag. They keep their virgin form a,
long as they hold together. New Yorl
Herald.