Telegram-herald., 1891-04-26
SNIDE PREACHERS
How Boys Are Forced Into the
Ministry Against Their VIII.
REVIVAL TACTICS OF HYPOCRIIEs
stsek Aaecdetss Tefd with Dramatic
xnses 90 Caisis rrightss the In
gsaiy to ksP~atAses--6sad Preach
srs 10 Les severely AIeas.

Ii more highly and universally honored
than that OF the Christian ministry.
Bat those who tread 70 lofty heights
have greater misfortune IL they fall;
and - IL Is Ia case or . minister who Is
unworthy OF bis calling. He Is one OF
the most despised and abjsct creatures
In creation.
The snsds preacher has sometimes An
excuse 70 offer. but it IS never accepted
by the children of men. and those who
are charitable in all other things draw
the line at tbs wolf IA sneep's clothing
and refuse 10 believe that ne - some
times the victim OF circumstances
This species Is propagAted IN various
Ways One casa of the speeies comes
abcu. ia tbs way: A boy OF decidedly
worldly proclyities Is often horn or
pious parents. He feels Ia MS element
among a crowd OF Jockeys, or he has
D natural bent for business, or perhaps
he Is happlest when he IS planning
soHse piece OF mechanism. IL may be
that his soul IS lifted up by the thrill OF
grand muse or IN some other way, that
spark OF the Divine intelligence that Is
within the breast Of every man is
kludled into flame. These calls must
al DC d.sregarded to crafty whim.
The fond mother pictures Johnny III
her Imagination, clothed IN choker
collar and a poly-buttoned coat, stand
ing IN q pulpit of fashionable church.
Words OF more than mortal eloquence
TOW from his lips and sinners fairly
tumble over each other in the general
rush for the axions seat. The father
has less confidence in the boys ability,
but considers the calling most worthy
one, requiring no capital except far
education and gift OF gao. 1t is COM
paranvely hfc of security and ease.
A preacher never Is ruined BY sudden
shit IN the wheat market or drop IN
tile price OF stock. aud he must
he q poor stick If he can not
make himself popular with his
congregation.
shove the BOY Iato the Pulpit.
That IS the way the father reasons.
Between them they literally shove the
unwilling victim into q calling that is
repugnant 10 HIM. What IS the RESULT
Johnnie gets himself qualified; his
friends secure him a call. He enters
upon his work; temptations are all
around hmm and having no sustaining
power he falls. 1t may be IN any one
of q thousand ways, but down he comes
from his lofty pedestal sooner or later.
The chances are that he will skip out
some dark night accompanied by Dea-
con Jones' pretty young wife and then
hearts are broken all along the line.
John may change his calling for time
and take TO the peddiing OF lightning
rods or patent rights but !. usually hap
pens that righteous indignation gives
way to sympathy. The blame OF MS
victim and he squares himself with the
world by abandoning her to It's cold
chsrIty and tender mercy and 10 REIN
stated in another church. In a little
while history repeats itself aud
JIe tries life insurance, real
tons. sometimes he even drifts into
the law or onto the stage. The chances
nre 90 IN 100 that he will always DO q
failure, morally and financially. John
is deserving of pity, for If he had been
left 20 follow his natural bent, he might
have become \ man. The other class
OF false prophets - far worse. This fell
low ~ n sleek, lazy rascal, who goes into
the ministry just as be would engage in
the saloon business, for what there is
In il. lie IS usually fellow OF limited
education and boundless assurance,
who manages by hook or crook TO work
himself into the fold and drifts from
place to place as the people discover
his true character. This drifting, st
first compulsory, becomes after . time
. pleasurable experience. He seeks no
more permanent locations, but commits
three or four short sermons TO memory.
aecumulates large fund OF anecdotes,
IN which sudden death is the leading
feature, and starts out as professional
saver Of souls by the short process. He
corresponds with different church soci.
cites, finds out those where advance
ment IN religious matters "a at a stand-
ttIil and sinners are numerous, but OBJ
durate. lie makes n proposition to
come and work the field ut so much a
week. and Is wiling 10 guarantee GER.
tain number of conversions as the re-
suit Of bis labors.
Ptesures Of Heaven and HE'LL.
A bargain IL made and he wades into
the work full of enthusiasm, for good
reviva,ist can command from $50 to
$500 a week. lie wants only a reputa-
ton. ard then his fortune is assured,
HIS methods are all stereotypod and
always successful. The fact that he u
q newcomer attracts some, love of sx-
element draws others, and few 20
Just to see the others IS forward. The
sermon touches briefly upon the final
Of -
length upon the horrible and never.
ending torments that are sure 20 be the
doom Of the unconverted. The devil
= pictured "a revelirg IN the atrocious
crueltiss he infiicts upon the damned:
the flames Of hell are vrcathed about
them. burning birthstone j. rained upon
them. ard there = no escape. no death.
no oblivion. This kind ~ talk has "a
effect upon nervous people. especially
II Z. q given With = frenried fsrvor
Then comes period of Singing. winch
alwsys seustizss the nerves AMI max s
people more Iuapresriouzhie. wnan a
certain pitch Of exeitement ia reached
the fellow plays hss trump card. the
deadly snecdot.. Their vssfstv I. end
les. ard few that are brief st5ek
warns viii Re heard AZ slasoef svsYv
revival meeting. Tka foiIau 5ag
"a sample: when I ~as a. -
few weeas ago, yeuDg ladY
csYse - ne ard sa.d, Dear Mr. a--~as.
1 ssrt - BE- A Chr <tisa Wei sid
ean1e rieht forssfd sod ysa ~fi -
saved. Ne. 20 4 slle, 'nt3t tJa.eht.
want 80 % % a asres teeleyFa~ q sha
sssa next nieEs ! al come. Ase sasa
heaunEal gFl. snd ! s~pt sna snspisssa
her T.. eef.se na~. fsuf ssss sat sse off
tarHesI swsY $50 pi<sd.ne sraFsS $50
vEaf - the faete 8@@t = Fht sod - i
dead - 80 ~ roeas fssff Thsak q
hrf e4er sssfi sfstatas > sei4 fsfessf
lsst asoaass she 80 81 tAs deg = sal