Mohave County miner., 1891-04-11
THE pINkLEmAns.
Jsksy Initiates His uscie Int" tue so''
fer the Adsafeehsent OF Truthfniness'

fer the Adtaheehsent OF Trathfn'h
'Shakey," said the old man, no
morrow your Uncle Snielzcf comes ~
US. You always plows apo1t your
goot manners und dries to maig your
mudder hafe bolitness, so ven your
uncle comes show him yot goot poy
you vus. As dot philotsoier says
'Bractice vot you breach.
Next day Uncle Smelzer came ne
was pleased with Jakey at first sighI
He patted him on the head and said ne
hoped Jakey would make things pleas
ant for him.
"Oh. uncle" said the junior Dinkle-
man, I'm show you things vot you
nefer saw before. I'll maig dings 20
lively BY you dot you don't know pc
fore yot you hafe missed. y
Jakey really meant all this. Ills
uncle came from Philadelphia-the
city that has been asleep since 80
and Jakey thought IL would be ike q
nightmare for his uncle TO see our
wonderful building and the Ike, but
SmeIzer had seen IL all and Jakey was
disappointed in not being able TO fal'
I'll the promise he had made OF show
ing him things he had never seen be
fore and making things lively for him.
"Yell, " he said TO himself, IL moos'
not disappointed ooncle. i will maig
1t lively for him. / will practice yot
breach"
First Of all Jakey got permission
from his father 10 have the use OF the
cellar the next night, then he went
out and got all the boys he could To-
gether and put them onto his LITTLE
game. They were TO be assembled In
the cellar the next evening prepared
to make things lively for Mr.. Smelzer'
"0oncle," said Jakey TO that gen
tleman. before you go pack by Phila'
delphian you shout shoin our society
for de advancement OF druthfulness.
You do not have TO live by druthiui'
ness, but II maigs boobies hale con.
hdences py you in pisness. You hal
py your sign: 'Smelzer. de tailor
Everything vot IT is represented.
am member Of de Society for Ad'
vancement in Druthfulness. SeeI
Customers come py you und you shargc
vot you like for clothes. You maig
money like water. ain'd id?''
Smelzer was delighted. you are
smard boobies py New YOork, SAID
he. II shoin your society for sure.
"Vell We meet tonight. You car
pc initiative after eight o'clock"
Before that hour the boys had Assem-
bled and when the hour of eight cam'
around Jakey came into the store ant
told Smelzer he could now prepare fOl
the services. He took him down int
the little back room in the cellar anC
put black cap over his head. TheI
two OF the other boys took Smelzer BY
the arms and led him out into the biz
room Of the cellar.
| ''BroOder, you are now on de brinl
ov de canyon OF druth. Go foorth."
A row Of round logs were arranged
so that every time Smelzer stepped ol
them they started TO roll. At the frs
step he fell. Then Jakey and hi
chums began banging him with air
filled bladders and as he tried TO ge
up the logs began rolling from unde
him. Then they hit him and kicke'
him some more and put out the lights
To finish up the business they threw
lot OF water on him Smelzer howle,
and the boys got away with all specs
except Jakey. He went up and cam
| into yka xtona ma ninbIa,,on baar
the noise and hastened down tn
stairs. He found Smoker on his knee
pleading for mercy. The blindfol,
was quickly taken off and Smelze
explained what Jakey had done will
him. When they got upstairs the,
found Jakey quietly seated near tn
stove.
You young devils!' began Dinkle
man, "vot you mean by dreading you
Ooncle SO ungentlemanlinessG'
You say. fader, dot moost bractic'
vat breach, don't id?'
IAN, Shakey, you moost kill you
poor ooncle-Pm vet und sore be
gan Smelzer.
"Vell, ooncle," said Jakey with al
air Of innocence, 'foder said moos
practice vot breech und / vas breech
ing dot would gife you a lifely time
ain'd i'd? Don'd / do dot? Dou'd
dry to keep my word? belong me b,
py dot society for druthfulness und-'
but before he could say more he walk
ed away covering his face, crying a
II his young heart would break.
When he got to his room he coult
not help but laugh like man who hai
suddenly heard OF the death Of hi
mother-in-law. "Yell, / made it life
ly, by ooncle. Bractice vot ] breach
eh? Dots vot did,