The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-01-09
PITH AND POINT.

y
affair" ut was Wo all got stung by
hornets
The man that can't sing and won't
sing deserves the sincere thanks of q
musical community.-Somcrv Jour-
nal.
"A serious need in these days is a
gas meter that is Intelligent enough to
know when the family is at tho seaside
and honest enough to say so.--Dingham-
ton Leader.
docs your husband attend church
regularly, Mrs. Trotier?" inquired tho
new minister. 40. yes" Mrs Irotter
answered. "Ilc goes once year regu-
larly."-N Y. Herald.
-"Tbat was an approximate flower
Lord lmpccune wore when he was mar
ricd 10 Virginia Boodel." ~ had not
heard of it. What was it?" "a mari
gold. "-Ilarpcr's Bazar
Stanley says that sunshine in Africa
looks like moonlight. That's about the
way it looks right hore at homo to
good many people, when business don't
go right Rams Horn.
-Strangcr-"Why arc those police
men hurrying around tho cornor?" Citi-
zcn--'Ihere. is going to be fight"
"WhcrcP Around tho corner?" NO, it
is going TO be IN Y. World
-Scribblcr-"I am going to make
trouble for that follow. pcnnibs Hero
he has published one OF my poems over
his own signature" Scrawlcy = II
wouldn't make any fuss, old man. If
he can stand you ought to- "-Amcrica
Mrs. Wickwirc-"If You go first YOU
will wait for mo on the other shore,
won't you. dcar?" Mr.. Wicl,wire-''I
suppose so. never went anywhere
yet without having to wait for you at
least half an hour"-Tcrre llaute Ex-
press.
-Cunso Ncspairingly) -"What on
earth made you got divorce when you
were in Chicago?' Mrs. Cunso-"Rcal-
ly, dear, they were selling Thorn so
cheap--in fact, they wcrc going Mt
bargain. and | couldn't resist buying
one. The Epoch
--"Whorc do you get your cigars,
Bromlcy?" why do you want to
know that? You've always blackguard-
cd them So" IL want to know because
my wife objects to tobacco smoke, and
I've got to smoke something. Louis
vile Conrier-Journal.
-Overworllcd Housewife wish to
get q servant" Employment Agent
WELL madam, wo havo some elegant
ones who wish Il trip to Europe, some
less desirable who would summon Mt
Saratoga, and few cheap onos who do
not object to Long Branch. Which do
you prefcr?"-N. Y. Weekly
-Poct-'T don't see how you havo
tho check to charge sevonty-fi five dollars
for that suit" Tailor-"My namo is
worth something, sir" Poot drawing
his check -"Woll, I'll take it," Tailor
but this check is for fifty dollars
only. Poct-'I know it-but my namo
is worth something. IN. Y. Sun.
Young man." said a Congressman
to q youth who was employed in tho
Capitol, IL will tell you frankly that |
can't help tccling some admiration for
your powers OF endurance" "ln what
way, sir?" was tho inquiry, in n tono of
pleasure. 81 saw you stand and puff
cigarette smoke in your own face for t
least half an hour. "-Washington Post.
--Winlls-"I understand the woman
you are going to marry has been en-
Sapcu 10 you lot Ten years. JlIkS-
Yes. You SEQ ann Il newspaper writer
by profession, and her proud father said
could not have his daughter until
could show him my name at tho head
OF an article in some great magazine
Well, went to work, and soon rot an
article accepted, but it was ten years
before it was published. food News.
A wcll-Inown travelling agent for n
Philadelphia carriage paper has carried
of the honors for eating. in this city,
says the Cincinnati Enquirer At a re-
cont meal for himself he consumed two
whole chickens, fried Maryland STYLE.
/ five pounds; ono extra porterhouso
steak, ten ears Of corn ono dozen toma-
toes sliced with onions, one quart
stewed potatoes, ono dozen corn cakes
and three quarts of beer. Ho was tho
only manwho parlools of tho meal. and
no did not fall into ashes when no
finished.