davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

bad slavery WAS until they had sold
their slaves to the South. began to say
"Nou must a spirit Of ave WON'T
arose, and "a strife, which ended most
terribly, began
On the same principle, let any one
tell a spirited man what he must do,
aud forthwith, even If hc had desired
TO do that same thing before, he be-
comes stubbornly rccalcitrant,
The people Of the United States can
do more for Home Rule by talking
quietly about the matter and in moral
suasion, than IL can by provoking the
antagonism Of Great Britain through
liouiziug home rulers who come here
aud by calling the government of
Great Britain hard names. As a
mighty right which will conquer In
its own sign, Home Rule will one day
win, and Gladstone, the Grand Old
Man, is a better champion for 1t in
England than he would be with howl
ing professions In America.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
MOI Allee samee

Arthur NcEWen, a brilliant Pacific
coast journalist. once had class Of
Chinese hoyS-Sou>. crand>ouS. nephcwS,
etc. Of rich China merchants in san
Francisco, and was teaching them how TO
worry with English One of these boys.
the nephew OF an old Chinanan who
owned an immense silk store. was very
idle. and McEVcu Cut an uut of patience
with him: 50 he went 90 the old man. and.
talking TO him in 'piEcou-Eucli>h, com
planned OF the bow. Said DE, "Nour
ucptruc. he no lcarurc. DE no Sludec De
vcTly hadco hoycc. What Go-cr2' The
old Celestial looked ,it,lr QuiUica''v at
N,Evcu for "a moment. and Then, in The
most uuadu'tcfatcd EuCIi>h and United
States. said: "Nhy take a spout aud
give ihc blasted LITTLE scamp a d-u GOOD
licking. That's what ia do" aud that
was what NcEvun did.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

hate him that much more. "Gcltlc,
for-ooth,n hc would say TO himself,
gentle people are very disagrceable
TO mc-if there arcany gentle people.
lie wrote his brutal diatribc against
Fairchld because the latter had writ
ten something poetic about the death
.uf Secretary Window. He didn't
stop TO consider whether or not Fair
child might have had peculiar
reasons for being unusually af-
fcCted over the death Of Win
dom; that he might have had
reason TO be very grateful TO him-of
course not that, for Biercc has a cynic
nature that doesn't understand what
warm, kindly feeling aud gratitude
are. People who write POLITICALLY and
tcndcrly about anyone who Is dead
and gone, are to Ambrose Bicrcc,
people who "slop over" And sup
pose apoctdocs "slopover' sometimes,
is thatany reason why he should be bru-
tally struck with pen-and-inl blud-
gcon upon the tcnderest place in his
soul, 10y a stalwart, fault-iinding,
morosc contcmptuous, miserable and
smart Cynic?
If nature ever produced a man with
as little kindly feeling for his kind as
Ambrose Bicrce, she didn't go to do it.
lie never says tender word when he
can find a harsh one. lie rccks with
the poison Of the cynic-thc hydro
phobia poison Of the cynic's Sirius
season, when the dog-Star RACES.
There are poisonous snakes that get
So full Of venom in the summer that
they sometimes turn and sting them
selves to death in the fall Let it be
hoped that before Ambrose Bicrcc
thus stings himself some other poi
son-rccking cynic will sting him first,
and save him from cynic-dc-sc,
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
THE GRAND olD MAY

Scmi-occasionaUy there is Wlk
through the newspapers Of the coming
to this country " England'S expire
mior, Gladstone. They who are most
anxious 60 have him come, and who
talk the most about 10, have some sort
Of nebulous idea that il would be
greatly in the interest Of Home Rule
and all that sort OF thing, aud they
are mistaken.
The people Of the United States are
already in favor ~ Home Rule for
Ireland, but It. happens that the
United States have little influence in
the matter. The people OF England
arc the class who should bc won over
10 that idea, and the "Grand Old Man
has sense enough to know it, and he is
going to STAY whore he can do the
most good.
It is human nature FOR a people to
bccumc stubborn about things which
other people make the most clamor
about, and the British are not an ex.
Ception to this rule. Years and years
before the civil war in this country a
strong feeling had grown up IN the
South against negro slavery and Mr
Clay and Bishop BaScom, with theij
ideas OF gradual emancipation and
hbcrian colonization, were strong
factors with the Wing party in Tho
movement, and had 10 not been for Tho
howhngs OF the Observation-Disclosures, and
their declarations that slavery must
hc abolished az once, there is nj
doubt In the minds Of those who knew
what the situation was in the days
spoken Of, that the South would hav,
abolished slavery Of its own free viii
and accord, and thus saved to the ma
tion the blood and treasure wasted II
the war. But as soon as the free
soilcrs, who had not found out how
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Date in History April 6,

ivo lNcsth ~ Bapbpoi paiotNr; born laS3
iva Alhcrt purcr. artist, died at Nuremberg
zoe Henry Hudson sailcl ON The Half Mcon to
mach che Indies by vay ~ the rohr scas
tnpdc,l ON Conry island and then satlcd up tho
llud-An
1870 Jcan Raptiste Rousseau French poet, born
In Paris
ia James MN historian and political ccouo
u,ist, father Of john Stuart NH horn. dicd
1886
ixS pcath u Sir William Hamilton, Scotch met
aphysicisn. born t,sN
INV battle ~ shiloh begun, 6rst gun cannon
giving signal o. C0ufcierat.s arNi al A.ti
an. At 2.3op ma. Cen AJ'ort Sidney John
stnn rstirrl wounded. and sNlu diod ~ hem
orhage, at $50 Q, M. the remnant ~ Prem.
tizy' division surrendered after n hours 81
slnSxt continuous dshupz, a,on after p. M.
tho C1ufelorie advance suddenly coascd
nnsurcrarl SAWS thst moro Than one half his
army was then utterly unable to act
tS2 Dutch I,a~s,.s ious on Gold c1ast transferred
~ Enriaud
tSn .pcstfu,Nye uHuJ ou lower Mississippi,
MANY uegroHs ,UHNuci
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
A Pair of Calves

A special from Nebraska town tells
how boy tied rope around his waist,
the other end Of which was fastened to a
COW; how the COW ran away with the boy
and ricochetted him along the ground un-
til he was only small sack of broken
bones 1t was pitiful affair, but the
chances are that if the boy had lived he
would have sooner or later killed some
body with a gun that he didn't know was
loaded, Boys who will tie ropes around
their waist under such circumstances
won't be missed
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
lNrCS

Ambrose RiCrcc, who contributes
one OF his peculiar patches OF stun TO
the san Francisco Examiner nearly
every SUNDAY, has for many years
sought to hc a cyuic. IL is a strange
ambition, hut he has succeeded in It,.
There are two kinds Of cyuicS and they
are both alike. The dictionary says TO
Toe a cyuic is 60 have the qualities of a
surly dog, and the term comes from a
Greek word that signifies dug-likc.
Thcu the other sort of cyuic who is
lust like the other sort, is "a moruSc
aud contcmptuouS person, Suarlcr
and a miSauthropc.
There was a sect II phi
lu,uphcrS founded ~ Au,i>-
themes, called "cyuics." because they
found fault with everything the,
found at all and much that thc,
couldn't Gud niogcucS belonged To-
that gang. lIcHvcd IN a tub and went
around jD the daytime with "a lantern,
pretending 60 nc In search Of an honest
man. which was the best sort ut evil
dcucc that he wasn't honest himself.
Why ne particularly wanted to find an
honest man doesn't appear. lie had
nothing that could he stolen except
his tub aud lantern. and the tub was
probably too filthy for a dog to live In,
unless 20 was q dog II the cypic breed,
and lanterns, la those days, grew ou
trees. They were q kind Of gourd
with grease and a mg.wick. Diogenc,
was even too mean to be grateful to a
King who desired 90 bcfricnd him. Ilt
hated the world and all its people, in
GLIDING himself, For the latter hatred
there was mach reason.
Ambrose Bicrcc is better than bio
genes was Ia some particulars, bul
they are only external PARTICULARS. III,
dresses better and lives in a better
place. He hasn't always refused tn,
favurS OF kings money kingS-but Il
is not probable that he has ever beer
) grateful for them. lie has been, met
aphoricaly, hunting an honest man
/ with a lantern all his adult life. Hi
chief happiness lies in writing some
! thing mean about somebody, and h
: is greatly accomplished in that way
: for he writes vigorously. Nor does h
! hesitate TO write and print his bitter
carpine, snarling, cynical things abou
, persons who never offended him no
: anyone else. Lately he wrote a nasty
; brutal diatribe gainst Lee Fairchild
, editor OF the Pacific Magazine, an,
! yet there is not a gentler, more un
T. offending, Christian gentleman Of
, earth than that same Lee Fairchild
b But II Ambrose Bierce knew this .
' be true OF Fairchild, he would onl
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Another Independent Paper

South Send journal: Governor Laugh
ton has vetoed the WATSON RAILROAD bill
because, he says. the bin was class legis-
IatiOn ut the kind specially forbidden by
The constitution; 10 Disseminated against
the rights Of citizens OF ucighboriug
states; % coutraNcuuu the interstate COM
mcrce act; 10 Disseminated against the
residents OF one locality m favor of an
other, ana 10 prescribed "A higher charge
for a short aud q long hau. The STATE
law makers, IN their enthusiasm to do
something 10 meet the approval Of the
agricultural constituency, did not con-
slider the legal merits OF the bill as care
fully as they ought
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
A New WAY

1t Is related Of Hon. w +. Cody lBuf-
falo BID that once, while he was justice
OF the peace, in an early day in Nebraska
irontior county, matrimony- stricken
couple came 10 him 30 get married. Cody
looked through the statutes and volume
OF legal forms which he had, to find the
outline Of a ceremony appropriate 10 the
occasion. but being unable to discover
such a thing, he raised his right hand and
said TO them, well, You fellers, hold up
your hands" which they did and he
"SWore en- in"
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
MINISTER'S.

When a man has received call 10
go into the world and preach the Cos
pei he should feel sure that the call
comes from above as well as from his
fellow men.
The pulpit today is one Of the great
educators Of the people, and great
deal Of good cmauates from it. No
one has ever been made worse 10y hear
ing a good sermon, but, on the con-
trary, many person has been led TO a
higher and better life from the teach
iugs Of the great Book,
There are great many people who
profess 10 hc prciudiccd against the
pulpit. hut they can assign no good
reason why. We are glad to note that
i'm this day this prejudice is fast dying
out and there are a great many non
church members who are constantly
found at the house OF worship every
sabbath. morning and evening.
IL has wholesome effect on every
communicant. for no person desires tu
hive i'm community. it matters not
how bad he may De, where he cannot
see chuuh >pivc.
Churches are among the great fore
runners and aids 90 civilization, in all
lands and in an climCS.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
LINES TO MY WIFE

ny q. II. AMES,
VIII you love me dear companion.
When my locks are getting grey,
And my hands begin 10 tremble
And | scarce can see my way;
When I'm weak aud weary wandering
Down this rough pathway Of life,
Can you love me just the same
As when you hr,t became my wife.
When I'm getting old and feeble
And my eyes are growing dim
And my face is getting wrinklcd.
And my cheeks are followed in;
When my limbs begin TO tottcr
lAnd TO shake my weary frame,
And my steps begin TO ialter,
Can you love me just the same?
When my work is almost over
And my race is nearly run.
And my Gays are being numbered
As / count them one 10y one,
And you see I'm growing older
As the days they come aud 20,
Can You love me with that fervor
That you did SO long ago?
VIII my gray locks look as charming
As the dark ones that l wore
In the days when We were welded,
Yes, the days that's gone before;
win my footsteps sound as gentle
When you hear me at the door;
Say DAZZLING viii Won love mo
As you did In days Of yore9
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05


T. the four parts Of the globe. We pub
lish the poets letter and the poem.
ANACoRrEs, Wash, April /, 1891.
MIR KuMLATErY, Dear Sir: send you
one Of my poems which yui are welcome
TO use, wrote it few days after my
grandmother was murdered by n China.
man and my wife eloped with Il gentle
man from Texas. ! think my sister shot
II book agent about the same time. The
poem is the outburSt of my feelings and |
think it is a production that the world
will not willingly let die.
Yours truly, REV. GooDE BARD.
BLOOD.
| wish the world were drenched with
blood,
And blood poured down from out the
skies,
How | would watch this crimson flood;
How / would feast on dead mems eyes;
I'd like to flourish Jagged darts
And wade in rich. red seas of gore:
I'd like to eat Of mangled hearts
And drink, drink blood forever more.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Too Much Honor

In 1874 General e K SumSon. Of Den
yer, who was Just plain ''Stimp'" in those
in those days, down at Coal creek, where
he lived, IS as appointed postmaster al
that place The salary was sl2 a year.
and he went to Canon City. which was thu
nearest town Of any importance, TO get
his official bond prepared and qualify Tor
The office. During the afternoon he met
some OF the odd boys" aud f'blew in
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Whatcom Express: The BARRIERS union
has posted cards warning the public not
patrJujle the scab BARRIERS who work for
low wages aud work for nothing. No
wOrkinEman who receives from - to e. 50
a day should patruulZe the cheap fifteen
cent BARRIERS They can afford 90 pay
- cents for a shave. just the same as
The banker, capitalist or man who has
plenty OF money.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Lost Time

Whatcom Express: \ great many peo-
Pile consume large amount Of time
abusing Jay Gould, Leland Stanford, Jim
Hin and other wealthy men who have
rusticd and worked hard for the money
tLey have. II they would put in oue-half
ul the time ru>uiuE for themselves they
would De better OF. II the men who are
wealthy got 10 10y Stoa ing. as il is claimed
boy some, follow stealing for a business,
then you Will be a dc>piSed capitalist.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Working Himself Poor

disposed to steer clear Of MIR. Kumlately
until of late he has been seen at work in
his garden. Now the agents beSiege him
to take out policy, but he is getting SO
strong and such an appetite that he can't
spare the money for the premiums from
his market bills
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
She Kioked Lest He should

A California woman has sued her
husband for divorce and alleges as one
charge against the defendant that he has
slept with his boots on for eighteen years.
In great many Instances woman would
find more real cause for complaint in the
fact that her husband pulled his boots off.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Imnortant II True.

SumaS News: Tho senior editor Of the
News went fishing SATURDAY. afternoon.
as he Kent mum when he came back. we
infer ho had the usual iSherman'S luck.
Tie devil len this office tli,d 90 work
the pOSy racket, but il won't work.
We had another splendid shower sun
day which ought TO give vegetation a big
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

King Humhcrt, Of Italy, loves to work,
and does more OF 10 than his lowest clerk.
But many men carry brick up a wall who
would rather do than than do nothing at
alI For the hardest work Thar ever was
done is doing nothing from sun 90 sun.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Somebody asked Sid Cotton one day not
long ago to join him in some liquid relax
alton. Sid was very digniied and refused.
But why?" asked the inviting angel.
For two good reasons replied Mr.. Cot
ton. The first is, | swore of six months
ago, and the second is. | am too drunk
now for any use"
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Doesn't Like Late Papers

Some people are never happy. Mr..
Kumlately has been kicking because his
copy Of the HERALD didn't reach him, one
or two mornings until o'clock. And yet
Mr.. X. is all the time around hunting for
the latest papers.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
PUBLIC NOTICE. $50 REWARD

A considerable number ~ complaints have
reached this office that certain parties are
iu the nahit uf stealing papers from sub
Sfrihcrs. Immediately after delivery
a reward ~ 82A viii NE paid Tor informa-
ton leading to the arrest and conviction
the offenders.
FAWuAvEN pUmIgUtNo Co.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Spscer saw old Binks, the poet, today,
and he was a. gay ~ a lark.
Elitor-Anything happened to him.
Spsccr--ue hrs a scheme OF collAbora-
lion, II he can make IL work-he 20 touch
the muse. Tcnnsson 10 do the rSSii-New
lc~A Az.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
A Queer Compound

Tacoma News: Nelson Bennett must be
a thorn in the side Of the water company.
First he gets an injunction against their
rNhorhitaut rates, and now he j. getting
mp an opposition company to furnish the
city with water In place uf the vegetable
and mineral compound we have been
using
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Two massive lodges reaching mp;
Great rugged, time-siormed battle
mentS;
Between, the whirlpool'S awful cup,
Huge hills OF foam and snowy tents.
HFRRERr RAsuFORn
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

The Fairhavcn poStonicc has been
made am international money order
Office, and now you can get postal
order there for any civilized country
ON the glohlc. But Postmaster kcclcI
ducsn't give Thorn away.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Olympia Tribune: The politicians Of
the state of Washington doth parties
are trucking to the Farmers Alliance
SO are some OF the big newspapers.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
A Real Estate Song

A due, a due, we hear it oft,
When monthly bills are nigh,
But give to me that Sweeter word,
That comes from the ground good
buy
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
why Not ?

An exchange tells OF man who calls
his dos straight Tip because he is a
pointer, but a Fairhavcn man calls his
dog "Old Hen because he is setter.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
SUBSCRIBE NOW
| aStern Advertisers

~ advcrtlsers is called to the FAuutAvEN
hIuAtn ns "a WdicIoua advertising medium,
heretofore NO foreign advertising OF any de-
uptluu has been received
. nn.raricl received through All the re-
NV"'' uo'o' spousible eastern advertising
guucies.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

The latest Washington paper is the
Cle-Enm Tribune published 10y c, Il,
Martin. Its neat, thrifty-looking
weekly. Shake.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

seven years salary before bedtime. The
he went home and resigned. The honor
was too much
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
Cynio

A cynic IS a surly dog that's always
cross and growing,
But decent dogs hold in contempt his
ncvcr-ceaSiug bowling,
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

There i>a great deal said about the
"strlp-jyuu" street ear line In What
com, bat 10 is observable that people
can ride vu it With much moro ease
and "a great deal faster thuu they can
on even the biggest kind OF a gilt
edged franchise.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

NO walls Of stone
deep SCARED
and brown,
A pebbles throw
from side to
side;
Above a gaunt hr
bending down,
Re o W III e
strangely mot.
tied tide,
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
THEY SAY
Fairhaven Has


MonteSano Democrat: We wonder II
this city will escape Senator ParkInson's
lprtuTpH
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

Written FOR the Fairhaven Herald.
DECEPTION PASS
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05

\ man named popplc has been TO
Puget sound and has gone back to
Tho Eclinoy' and printed lot Of
stun i'm the Bloomington Eye which is
a tissue ot the most barcfaccd lies that
type can reproduce, lie says he was
assured that he could make a fortune
in this state "iu no time II he would
come here. Just such fools A. those
who act upon such propositions are
those who become diSgrunlcdand then
go back complaining that they have
been lied 90, and trying 20 prove il 10y
bigger lies than those they lie about
lie SAYS for instance that in Seattle he
was asked the enormous sum OF So;
for q city lot. Tie fact is that In the
Creator part Of Seattle he couldn'
buy lots at 1913 per front foot
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-04-05
KUMLATELT's KINKS
a Feeling Poem

OF tong ago
the HERALD re-
ceiY g d a very
striking Doem.the
author of which
certa inly h a $
genius, aud a few
more tender gems
like this one, full
of kindly feeling,
mill hfgAnu,,
Tombstone epitaph., 1891-07-05
A w.-.Iug.

A. Bauer, owner Of a cattle ranch in Sulphur Springs valley, Arizona passed through the city last night on his re- turn from Kansas City, where he dis posed of .wo train loads of three and four year old steers, which he had previously shipped from his ranch, ex- pecting to realize much better prices there than offered at home. Unfortu- nately the eastern market was dull, and the steers only brought Sl S5 per hundred pounds, netting him the small sam of Si per head Before he had fonUde,l mp his steers Co be ship ped io Kansas City, he was offered Sl5 per head, a difference Of | III to him had he accepted the price. He is re- turning home a Y. " sad man, bat his experience is doubtless worth some thing.
 The above from the Albuquerque Citizen was told 10 Mr. Bauer wbo is back in Tombstone and he corrObOr- sted the facts although he goes a ste? further and says he did not realize S4 net but less than that. He be ieves that he was the victim of conspiracy. His cattle were weighed and sold m his absence. The weight was given at 260,OOO pounds and the price at $l S5 per hundr d. They were in the yards four days before being sold.
 He also complains of the charges along the road being unwarrsnted. One charge against him was for S6O for hay at Deming whereas the cattle did not have spear of hay at that point. MT Bauer wsrns catIlemen to beware of getting caught in any such trap as he was He found other cat tlemen there who were even in a worse plight than he found himself, going around crying over their losses MT. Bauer's cattle were an extra fine bunch, some Of the steers being As and even Is in splendid order, the balance being g and 3s.