, 1891-04-09
LIGHT ON E%LOPEMENTS.
WHY REFINED YOUNG WOMEN RUN
AWAY WITH coAcHmEN.


What Kate Epson Clark Has to Say Upon
Til. suhJect-An Article That VIII he
Of Interest to Mothers and Daughters.
As Well.
Copyright, 1891, by American Press AssocIA-
toni
Some writer has remarked that 1.-THE
hearts of most men are like the CRATES in
inns, where the wood is laid ready for
kndliug, and the smile Of almost any
pretty woman is enough 70 set it in a
blaze
1t may be similarly suggested that the
hearts Of most young maidens are ready
formed shrines for heroes.
It stands 10 reason. then, that il the
young man has no sweet, pure girl to
set the ready Endlings alight, and if good
material for her hero is not forthcoming,
Philotes viii set Ere TO the one, and al
most any n who happens along, un.
worthy though he may be, will, in the
absence Of the true Roland, play the
hero 10 the other.
The moral to all thoughtful parents
should be plain. Do not drive your
young people 20 construct their earthly
idols Of such coarse materials. All Of
your moralizing and Of the p~ainstuking
religious instruction which you have
presumably given are useless unless you
pursue a liberal. practical course with
your children in regard TO society. You
may wish them never to marry. but you
cannot force them to this position by
keeping them away from young com
panions. In a dozen indirect ways you
may impress upon them the undesirable
ity Of m~atrimony, bat they almost inevi-
tably will be piqued into c-outrariness If
they are socially starved or openly for
hidden.
And if you do wish your children to
marry happily when the proper time
comes. ms almost all good parents do, you
are surely wrong not TO give them the
best opportunities in your power 10 be-
come acquainted with other young peo-
pie IN their own station In life.
Il do not wonder at 1t, said n wise
matron, when a young girl Of good fam
lily eloped with Al ignorant coachman.
Her parents have been 80 terribly afraid
that she would fall in love with some
body that they have scarcely ever allowed
her TO speak with a young man. Her
elopemeut IL only the legitimate result
Of her isolation"
Another young girl in a ~luxusious
home, "a girl with n beautiful face, good
mind and with many social advantages
possible to her, If her parents would coun-
tenanco them, ia IN what the physicians
call "A decline" Ono sensible friend Of
the family declares that the trouble Is
simply 'inaniuon.7 Her father and
mother have guarded her from all gen
eral society. as though it were some sort
Of a poison. She travels in private cars
and closed carriages, She is taken yacht
ing with her parents. and perhaps n com
panion or two Of her own age and sex;
she is allowed occasionally 20 attend
lawn parties and luncheon parties Of
yoang women, but she Is kept away
from even the best brought up young
men, as though the poor innocent young
fellows were a deadly plague.
The young Of the human race are so
constituted TINT neither their bodies nor
their minds are healthy unless they nave
a proper amount of society. The normal
and simple condition exists when in the
large, patHarchal family OF boys and
girls the friends Of all are back and forth
in the house, and little gatherings for
playing games, pulling candy and learn
ing lessons together Hre constantly going
on under the wise supervision and with
the participation Of the older members Of
the households interested. 1t is in these
sad new days Of foriurn families Of one
or two spiudling, idolized, spoiled darl-
ings where the complications have arisen
which furnish the text for articles like
this.
In the hospitable Christian home,
where there is always the chance that
angels are being entertained unawares,
there is likely to be very little trouble il
this direction. Children become Accus-
toned 10 different kinds Of people, and
when they in turn become parents they
learn TO know and to practice upon the
truth Of Thuckeray's saying: mo train
ing IS so useful for children. great or
small, as the company of their betters in
rank Of natural parts, in whose society
they lose that overwhelming sense OF
their own Importance which stay-at-
HON people commonly learn They
come to see that it is in some sort a lib
eral education 10 meet often with the
refined and cultivated Of whatever age,
and TO discriminate between such and
the vulgar and u~uiustruCted. They will
never be driven for the lack Of knowing
better to marry coachmen and waiting
maids.
1t is not denied that many ~cuachmen
and waiting maids are superior 10 some
Of the denizeus Of Murray Hill Beacon
street; nevertheless, one does not wish
to have ones daughters and sons marry
respectively into these W classes Of
society until they have had ample op-
p~ortunlty to compare them with other
young persons, aud are satisfied that
coachmen and waiting maids are lust
what they want.
Avoid large midnight parties. The
wisdom Of this adyiceI Is being recognized
by many even who move in the best
metropolitan society. \ prominent New
York matrou recently issued cards for 4
dancing party for four young daughters
on which the hours were given as from
nine to twelve"
In fact, something like this is getting
to be recognized as necessary, il one
would have plenty Of young men for
such entertainments, Nearly all our
desirable young men are workers. They
cannot dance until two or three IN the
morning, and yet be clear headed for
their business or their law books the
next day. The mice girls like best the
young men who work for a living. it is
said. That may be one reason for the
Improvement in party hours: but it Is
a--1 true that common seus7 vHre vava-