The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-07-21

which the little child of the audience,
by his first wife, discovered h edeserted
nest Of the celebrated Little Mammoth
Black Hornets of Tennessee. This in
sect is called in the South the typhoid
touch-men not of the tropics, and wears
a platinum stinger, with an alcohol
lamp for same, all the time.
The black hornet is now said by a
writer on war topics, whose article was
returned to him by some Of our lead
ing magazines, to have been the cause
of the mastery forced march from
Bull Run to Washington. The black
hornet has broken up eight district
schools in Tennessee, and if the colored
Zion NJ. E. Church at East Conquest is
barred out of paradise by the commit
tee on credentials the black hornet that
built his nest in the hot air register
during the summer will be to blame
for it.
Let others admire the delicate tex
ture of the black hornets deserted
home, but blowing down the barrel of
a deserted shotgun is good enough for
me. Moreover, [ will look just as well
on the following day and suffer less.
We buried the little youngster inthe
the cool, yellow mud down at the
branch-all but his head, and 1t we
pouIticed with wet plug tobacco and
ammonia-till toward evening, when
he could bear to have his fathers hat
on and go home. He did not see my
fireworks. He had to worry along
with those he had stirred up in the
clinker built household of the black
hornet.
We opened the evening with song. I
sang a selection from I'll TrOvatOre,"
accompanying myself on the exylO-
phone, that pleading and almost human
instrument. [ then touched off a
bunch of firecrackers in order to seat
the audience and then let off a Roman
candle, the breechpin of which blew
out, sending eight beautiful ~variegated
balls up my sleeves.
I then sang a song entitled "Spark-
ling and bright in its liquid light is the
water in our glasses. Twill give you
health, twill give you wealth, We lads
and rosy lasse8.'
After this came a mine which the
catalogue said would spout gold and
silver showers, interspersed with red,
blue, yallow and green meteOrs. This
mine was a n~Ondividend declaring
mine, like one that l partly owned in
Wyoming. If [ had owned it entirely
[ would have been a poor man today,
but I only owned a little of it and so l
have no reason to complain. It was
called the Pauper's Dream, and was
discovered by Buck Bramel. He owned
the twOmules, YelIer and Yaller, which
had almost a national reputation. The
Pauper's Dream showed rich at the
grass roots with blossom rock that
looked like a jewelry store, but it ran
into micaceous slate and pyrites Of
of poverty 1T ten feet. Then we got
some good quartz again and the lead
was better defined. [ neglected my
life insurance premiums to pay my
assessments, and then we struck at
a depth of eighty feet one Of the incest
springs of water from which I ever
drank out Of.
Buck was working in the mine at
the time. He got to the surface about
eight minutes ahead Of the water.
Either of us would sell the mine nov
to people who mean business. Possibly
I would be a better man to deal with
than Buck would. l Would be more
liberal and I would be more liable to
make it an object than Buck would.
The pyrotechnic mine, no Tever,
acted as it might if it had got wet in
some way, so we dried it out near the
stove this morning.
It did not look so well when it went
off as it would if it had been at night,
but it lit up the little plain kitchen
and made it look almost like a fairy
palace.
I got a war SCARED veteran to let
off the rockets. He was used to cenes
Of carnage, having been a veterinary
surgeon in a cavalry regiment. He
let off one Of my big rockets first. He
said it would be best to stick the stick
in the ground, and after it got to burn
ing it would flee as a bird to its noun
tains, or words to that effect.
He stuck it in the ground too far.
1t pulled and swung round the circle,
now and then knocking out the eye of
a northern invalid with a hot ball, then
it V a scream that sounded almost