St. Paul daily globe., 1891-11-17
SUNRISE SIGNALS.

President Harrison is delighted with the
apparent prosperity of this nation. and gem
erously attributes it TO beneficent Provi-
dence. 1t is wonder he does not attrib lie
it to Mckinley.
Chicago paper asserts that "Omaha is
digging tor the national Republican conven-
ton Yes, and last week she struck quick
sand
Indiana comes to the front with a clergy
man who swesrs in his sleep. b. Harrison.
will have use for him after November, '02,
in the capacity of an understudy.
y"
1t may or may not be dutiable but some one
could do a profitable business Just now ship
ping investigating committee whitewash to
Canada.
1t is said that the new half-dollar will be
much handsomer than the old one; but it is
safe bet that the Pioneer Press will not edi-
torialize half as much about the quality as
it will about the quantity.
-
Mrs. Ye, the wife of the Corean minister at
Washington, has learned TO talk English.
Ye gods.
The city of New York is in the throes of
water famine, and a sarcastic Chicago jour
nal suggests as partial relief that New York
ers refrain from taking water ION the side''
after an alcoholic infusion. Less water III
the average New York whisky might also go
far toward mitigating the evils of the fam
inc.
''The Knife That Killed Pc Hancy'' is not
the knife with which Warner Miller killed j.
Sloat Fassett Mr.. Miller carefully replaced
that knife in his bootleg Immediately after
election.
1t is unnecessary for Chicago to offer as a
worlds fair attraction a tower that will sur.
pass the Eiffel altitude. Even now n man
can go TO Chicago and have high old time.
Drop nickel in Chicago and get an IAN
archist'' plot.
The young lady from Boston was at the
piano. AS she swiftly swept the lily-white
keyboard with hands equally nly-white az
centuated, however. by glstenlng stone
from Afric' diamond fields an old man en-
tered the room, slightly palsied, slightly
shaky in his legs. and with slightly rheumy
eyes.
The maiden was playing Comrades" as
an accompaniment to the words of the same
song, which she stridently vocalized.
The old man glanced at the piece of music
and mumbied:
THANK heaven, I'm deaf"
Then, with an effort. ne trotted from the
room. For moment the young lady poised
on the piano stool appeared dazed. She
passed one fair hand across her eyes and
murmured:
rs this some horrible dream, or the stern
est of stern reality:
In a moment her Browningesque mind was
made up and ready for action HaughtilY
sweeping up stairs, she gained her room,
hastily packed trunk, threw on a plaid
Newmarket and cap TO match, and sought
the apartment of a matronly looking woman
of probably thirty-eight of forty years of age.
Madam, said the young lady, las govern
ess of your Chicago family. hereby tender
my resignation"
And why?" inquired the matron gravely
Your father objects to my music"
"How so? The poor old gentleman is
deaf"
''Alas. no: lie is not deaf, but deef! Deef.
do you comprehend me? He says he thanks
heaven he is deefr' and with a low. agonizad
cry, the Boston maiden buttoned up all the
$50 buttons on her Newmarket and fled for
ever from the vulgarized Chicago roof.
-
The Republican press is just now saying
great many sweet, coddling things about
George William Curtis and his editorial
course during the recent New York election.
To be consistent the Republican press
should lay the foundation for the new col
umn of tatfy by taking back all the mean
things they have said about him during the
, past eight years. In the eyes of Republicans
mugwump is all right SO long as he is
Republican mugwump.
-
An exchange printed east of Niagara Falls
observes that the eclipse OF Luna in the
Northwest on Sunday evening was almost
totally obscuTed by wooly 6clouds." And
why should not the clouds of the woolly
West be woolly? In fact all your clouds in
this locality are all wool. yard wide and
more than foot thick. Some of them have
a free silver lining and some of them do not
-
rumor is waited on from Washington to
the effect that one c. F. Mccoy, of Aberdeen,
s. D., who holds the proxy of Gov. MeIlette
upon the Republican national committee, is
''ferninst' Minneapolis as an eligible site for
the national Republican convention. But
ago as during the constitutional convention
autecedent to its admittance as a state, it
was subject of current remark that the man
who pinned his faith on the sincerity and pa
triotism of South Dakota Republican was
doomed 10 be deceived. 1t is trife singular
how the very meanest element of the Repub-
lican party came to colonize themselves in
South Dakota.
The rise aud fall of the kite-shaped trae
bids fair to resemble that of the rocket that
went up with splutter and came down in a
nutter. Budd Doole. an equine authority
on trotting stock. says the kite-shaped track
is doomed. The reason for the faith that is
IN him is that the spectator does not get his
moneys worth. This is a practical sugges-
ton. The movement of a trotting horse one
half mile away is not of great sensational
interest to spectator, particularly if he hap
pens to be near-sighted. Mr. Doble appears
to have struck the popular chord in his re-
cent assault upon the kite-shaped track.
-zzED-
LOCAL FANCIES.
Never since the days of good Queen Bess,
whose royal eyes ne er beheld naked female