New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-04-19
THE TAIN OF THE DAY.


| IHe sther day swarm Of bees decided to light on
the person of John smith, of Cuzzerville, Ark he
was quietly walking along the street and mindng
his own business and they chased him two miles.
Just as the queen bee was about TO settle on his
neck, John came to saloon, into which he daTted,
and thus escaped. lie is now firmly convinced that
saloons are necessary to the welfare of community.
This is picturesque story but doubt is thrown 1t
by the statement that the hero had to two miles
before striking a saloon
A Goneness.- Elderly Lady (who has sent for her
ply stefan in great hastcI feel very queery, doctor
Sympathetc PhysiciaS-What is it MADAME whers
do You feel stranger
Elderly Lady (fantly)-I don't know, doctor. There
seems TO be goneness somewhere can't find @
single paint pharmaceutical Era
A citizen of Arlington, Ga according to a local
paper arrived at the depot only TO find that the train
had gone 1t then four miles ahead Of him. but.
procuring horse and buggy. the citizen gave chase,
overtaking the train at Commssary Hill. distance Of
nearly five miles He then waved ii down, got aboard
and arrested man who owed him 81 and was trying
to make his escape
They Get lit is said that there are no less than
ten Russian agents in this country TO report public
opinion 10 the Cars action in The Of Jews and
they dare forward to the old man at st. Petersburg Is
quite another thing.-DetrOit Free Press
The old adage, give dog bad name, ETC., is thus
made 10 apply TO the clergy by the Rev. Dr. Wayland:
4" If Mr.. Beecher had said that two and two mako
four, great many people would shrek that he was
undermining the foundations Of orthodoxy, and that,
in short time both the Church and the Nation would
be in ruins But If DR.. John Hall Dr. Cuyler should
say that two and two make five, or ten or twenty, or
ton thousand 1t would not damage their reputation
by so much as a single hair no. not a ilament.'
The members of girls class were asked few
questions. one was Intercepted as TO what was
meant by bearing false witness against your neighbour
:" II was,' said she, when nobody did nothing and
how beef tea was made, and she replied, "Buy tin
OF beef extract, and follow the directions on the lld'
"What are warmth producing foods 7" third girl was
glnger'
A UNILITERAL POEM.
In volume Of poems, "songs of Singularity,7 by
the Landon Hermit recently published in England,
is the following specimen of aliterate prose. 1t Is
supposed TO be a serenade in N lat, sung by Major
Marmaduke Muttonhead to Mademoiselle Madeline Men
doza Marriott
My Madeline my Madeline
Mark my melOdlous midnight means.
Much may my melting music mean,
My modulated monotones.
Ny mandolin's mild minstrelsy.
Ny mental music magazine
My mouth, my mind my memory,
Must mingllng murmur "Madeline.S
Muster mid midnight masquerade
Mark Moorish Maidens, matrons men,
'Mongst Murc.a's most majestic maids,
Mankind's malevolence may make
Much melancholy music mine;
Many my motives may mistake,
My modest merits much malign.
My MadelIne's most mirthful mood
Much molllhes my minds machine;
Ny mouTnfulness's magnitude
Melts-makes me merry, Madeline!
Matchmaking mas machinate,
Manoeuvring misses me mlsween;
Mere money may make many mats
My magic motto's-" Madeline
Melt, most mellifous melody
Midst Murcia's misty mounts marine.
Meet me by moOnlght-marry me,
Madonna mia l-Madellne.
Some time ago The st. Louis Republic. started Q
voting contest to who were the two most popular
eergymen IN st. Louis, IN order that it might send
them on extended trip through Europe, and its
rival "Tlle Globe Democrat Immediately instituted
q voting contest for the two popular barkeepe1
in town, promising to send them over the same route
Looking Ahead" Young man. said the stern
father, do you realize that my daughter is in the
habit OF wearing dresses that cost all the way from $50
Il do. replied the Young man, firmly. "and, sir,'
he continued, an exultant ring in his voice. " II Was
and found that had enough of them to last three
years ahead."-(Cloak Review.
a plot for melodrama such as would have de-
lighted a Bowery audience Of generation ago could
be formed from story which comes by telegraph from
Indianapolis The confession OF thief is to the effect
the police Of that city were planned by wellknown
lawyer Ills career OF crime, II the tiefs story 10
true was continued for long time without arousng
any suspicion lie took no active part. In the
burglares but was the real leader OF the gang which
committed them. He has been arrested and the
story OF his crimes has been made public.
TIDDLEDY wINKs.
"Well what are you doing" said to friend,
In the way OF amusement to-day
For Euchre and lialma understand.
Are rapidly passing away.
And Whist that glorious game OF games,
That has had Unlimited reign:
With Checkers, Backgammon and CriDoase ooos
Are all OF them on the wane
The donkeys 10 longer arc losing their tails,
The Cobweb parties through,
The Pigs in Clover all chased TO ceatD.
so what Is there now left 20 do
ave play" she answered, with blush ana Snhe'
A game iGll OF wonderful kinks;
But it's lust TOO sweet-have yoa heard 81 uf
They can II Tiddledy Wlnks.n
-(siary c. Heckle In Boston Transcript
The season for going over Niagara Falls IN barre.
or something OF the sort has arrived but there don1
appear 10 be any candidates. Can 1t be that thS
fools are all dead
Doctor-Tell your dispenser TO give you vial OF
nux yomca third attenuation. You are 70 take
two drops In tc2Sp0Onfai OF water once every two
hours Can you remember that
Iatient-O, yes ycs--n0thng easier. Later, az tho
give me some Democracy, thra
attention. am 10 take three walls In two drops q