The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-07-02
WIT AND UUMOR.


necessarily a cultured Individual
Boston Herald.
Warden Ito murderer in electric
chair)-''I press the button. You do
the rest. "-Bufato Courier.
The man who would climb the ladder
of Fame mustn't linger too long on
each round of applause. -Pstck.
There are born liars as we'll as
born poets" but tie former comes
easier 10 /. MANN 7. Recorder.
You can't tell anything about mans
religion by what he does when he
knows lie is watched. Ram Horn.
The art collections in some of the
saloons are decidedly suggestive of
bar-bare-ic splendor.- Washington Post.
He-'Do you belong to the Psychical
Societv?" She-'.No. but | sometimes
go out on my brothers machine. y
Puck.
Mav-'.Ycs, / spent the winter in
Florida" Blanche But like Senior
de Leon. YOU were unsuccessful!'-N.
T. Heratd.
Ii YOU wish to know what the stand
Ing army of the United States is YOU
must patronizc the horse ears. - Boston
Bulletin.
1T must be nice TO be Il Bishop and
above discipline" Above discipline?
Why Bishops marry, do they not?"-
n. \. Sun.
Smkins DO YOU and your wife get
along well together" Hen Peck
she gets along well enough, but l
don't. '-Ep0ch.
I1le fact that gold is one of the in
gradients in the Koch lymph reduces it
to the level Of Il mined cure after all.
-Eimira Gd=5ite.
The man who sells goods with a So
inch-yard-stick would steal the jeweled
foundation stones OF heaven, if he could
get at them. -L'Gan's torn.
Briggs IL good businessman? |
should say he was. He was born with
fortune you know" ''Well?" Hes
got it yet. IN. Y. Recorder.
He-"Why are you going to Enrope?"
She Frankly, to secure husband.
And your" He-"To get away from
my wife" ~ Y. Conttnent.
The man who spends all of his time
sitting around studying himself is vast
ing his days upon lesson that is not
worth knowing .-DaItas NcWs.
Shall wash the windows, mumP"
Bridget, | am surpriSed!' replied the
lady of the house. You know we
move next week. ~. !. Recorder.
Hoolihan' Wife - '.Phat do they
name by the pauper labor of Yoorope,
PATE" Hoolihan-',They name the
Chinese, av' coorse. "-AunSey's Week.
iy.
The Rev. Phillips Brooks election to
a Bisopric is fine Illustration of the
natural law that brooks ultimately
find their way to the see.-L0aCeU
Courier.
If we all had the gift to see our
selves as others see us very few of US
wond be persuaded to act as Grand
Marshal i'll Il holiday parade.-N. I.
Recorder.
The man who doesn't like the human
race was heard to remark: This
world might be a llceting show, but it
has mighty poor company. y Wash
iagtOn Post.
20, dear" sighed Tompklns, this
moving makes me wish | WAS deadT
"Humph!' said his wife. If YOU were
dead you'd want to move, | guess. y
N. Y. HcraId.
Il do so love England" said De
Peyster ecstatically. What do you so
like about it?" asked Brouthers. Its
so English" returned De Peyster.-
Brooklyn Life.
so she rejected YOU did sheP Your
proposal didn't please her?" well, |
can hardly say it didn't please her |
thought she'd never stop laughing.p-
Boston Herald.
Chollie-"What! You refuse me? |
am cast aside for another, pwesume?"
Miss Laura-"NO, not for another |
am In love with 4 real man. = I,3diasa-
ap0tis journal.
Il Think said the disconsolate farce
comedian, that I'll 90 and get vac
cnated." What for?' 10 see if |
can't find somethin. that will take
Washington Post.
''How did YOU get along with Miss
Green?" Why, / said nothing and
she talked; at the end of the conversa-
ton she announced that we were-en-
gagged. "-Fhegende Btatter.
NO sir" exclaimed the politician
at the ward caucus. there is too much
talk about helping politicians, All we
want is to be allowed to help our
selves. ~ T. Recorder.
Don't you Think" said higgins
that | often WELD ii bitter penP Il
don't know" was the reply. You're
the only man ever saw chewing the
end of it. = Washington Pos!.
Nobbsie. the office boy. There's
man downstairs saws he's goin' to kill
yer, and beautiful Young lady as
wants to go on der stage" Manager
We'll, show the man up."-BroOkiy1,
Life
Guns that will shoot five miles have
been invented. We mention this fact
only to emphasize again to spring
poets the ACCESSIBILITY of sending in all
their contributions by mail.-7e1as
Syttngs
Watts-"I do not think any man can
be happy without a modicum of I'M
agination." Potts-"And not so very
happy with it,if it leads him to imagine
things about his liver" Indianapolis
Journal
Mrs. Cumso-"The Schuylkill runs
through Philadelphia. doesn't it?n
Cumso-"Nothing runs through Phila-
delphia, my dear. The Schuylkill
meanders sleepily through the town"
~ I. Continent.
Mature rarely wastes. but some
times she does" said Mehitable at the
circus. Look at the elephant, for in
stance. Two tails practically, and yet
with hide absolutely impervious to
flies. N 7. san.
Raggles-" Don't beg there Them
folks Is MuSS off linn we n1n - Rnor,-