Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-05-28
A BOAT-RACE COMEDY.

BOAT-RACE COMEDY.
A woman can always remember every
thing she likes, when she likes, excepting
her age. have not particularly good
memory for most things, yet know we'll
enough that l am forty-fve and three
quarters. I have seen good deal of the
world. 1 don't mean mountains, and
rivers, ard cities, and cathedrals, and gal
leries with grilled saints in them, and all
that soft of thing; but people, you know
people.
My George shakes his head.
"You are not bit an old-looking wo-
man. You were monstr0us handsome
girl, likewise child. Well I remember
you" (he half shut his eyes and twirled
his gray mustaches, as If he could see
clearly through nearly forty years, and a
high wall, right away to Oxford, where he
first met me)-"you, yes, you wore cork
screw curls each side of your head, white
frock with pink SASH"
Let me mention, too, that l behaved
badly to George. He left me. He went
never married. he met me, a widow!
He proposed to mel like to be truthful,
I almost proposed to him; he wanted look
ing after, good fellow. l accepted him.
Here 1 am, then, Mrs. General George
Mountjoy, K. C. B. I mean he's K. c. b.
but never mind, we share it betwcon us;
it's all the same.
Iregret to say my great trouble has
been my nephew. My poor sister be-
,Queathad him t. me on her dying bed,
together with her gold waGf and her
blessing.
eCynthia," she said, II leave my boy to
you'll know you will bea mother to him,
and here's my gold watch with the Cam
pagna enamel on it." Then she blessed
me, and
Well! we'll! that watch, much as prize
it never has gone properly. No more for
the matter of that has Dick A'Court, much
as may prize him, he has never gone
properly, though perhaps he may now he
has gone to Mashonaland. AS to my
sisters blessing, must own that I think
that has gone right. But how about Dick
A'Court. and how about the boat-race?
AS have said, our place is on the river.
Now what we wanted was that Dick
A'Court should be married. That was
firstly That he should marry Florrie
Newson! That was secondly! Thirdly,
that she was blessed with good looks, good
behavior and temper, and a plentiful
supply of IA per cents, and dirty but
profitable freehold property at Rother-
thithe.
''rhat boy Dick" said to my husband,
"must marry that girl. When married he
may alter. Marriage is the salvation Of
many young man. We shall have no
more anxiety about him then. Why, when
he was at Elton he got half drowned at
Athens. When he was at Oxford he ran
up such bill at the 'Mitre' you would
nave thought he was an American million
aire entering long course Of dukes. Now
he is with us, he's doing literally nothing.
Won't eat his terms, won't 60 into the city.
Life to him is all burlesque matinees, con-
sequently getting into mischief, and all
the rest of it. When a young fellow can't
find any proper profession he must take on
with the matrimonial"
ayes of course"
aNow you'll have taken good care that
Florrie is going to be with us at Laughton's
for the race party. All Of US will be at
MortlaKe four days at least. If that boy
can't manage it by that time-if that dear,
sweet child, her S1-4 per cents, and her
Rotherthithe warehouses are not his-lll
disown him. He will be no nephew of
mine. Think of the opp0rtunlties-the
sunshine, the daffodlls, and the pigeons
cooling in the stable wallis"
sYes, of coursep'
ayes, of course"
sBut the east wind, my Cynthia?" said
George.
sCan't he make capital ont of muf1ing
her up"
aBut the rain"
aHaye you lived fifteen years at an up
country station and not found out the
mechanical value Of an umbrella? Let it
rain. Let it sleet. Let it snow and all
that sort of thing-that is how he will
make Roadway all the better"
.No doubt You understand all that sort
of thing better than do" and Jack nodd-
ed at him in reply; "and then there will be
the band"
ut is curious thing" said George, ethat
people nowadays seem to be able to get
bits or our military bands as II they were
ike the almond rock We used to share in
the old days; and why Is ltthat the bestof