Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-08-28


"What" asked his companion.
"Thc age of woman," he answered.
-iidrcard Lampo,n.
TIE CUT DIRECT.
"Iou'rc not truc Democrat, Ma
clave. You declined to recognize your
barber just now. That's snobbish."
WHY The bcygar cut Inc himself
this morning. Pick
WAS IT COMPLEMENTARY
Algernon-"Will you take this cmcr-
aid ring Is an evidence of our engage
mcntl"
Angclina-"Yes, Algcrnon, l am pas
sionately fond of green"
DfsAGREEABLE CHAP.
Winks-"I don't like Hardhood."
AIinks-"IIc's fellow who thinks he
knows it all, isn't hes"
Winks-"Worse. He docs know it
all, aud proves it."-Good Nc@s.
READY FOR A TEST.
Shelf you really love me, prove
itr'
TIc-"Wlth pleasure! See, the river
is particularly rapid and deep just hero
jump in--Tll pull you out!"- Fiicyende
Bldetfel.
HOPE FOR HIM.
" You have spurncd me-" he cried
bitterly; ~ will go into the busy world.
will fight and win. My name shall be
known and my riches envicd--"
"Then," she interrupted, "try me
again. "-Judge.
REMEDIES ARE COUNTLESS.
'Dil you tell any of the folks hoy
sick you are Z"
"Not bit of it."
land why notl"
go, every one would have told me
what was good for me. Boston Tran
script.
PUT TO THE BEST USE.
Mr.. Fussy (cngaging board)-"Ahi I
see you have a piano. Do 1 have the
use of that?"
Mrs. Pancakc-"Why, certainly"
Mr.. Fussy-"Well, then, please let
Inc have the key and I'll lock it up
Judge.
HOIST BY HIS OWN PETARD.
Gillygall-"Now, Miss Gwace, if you
dcsiawed to cut diamond, what would
you use?"
Miss Keene-"Thc heart of any man
that can regularly visit n girl two years
without offering her q "-JemeLcrs'
Weekly.
a STRAIGHT TIP.
"Is your sister in the house, Miss
Dorothy"
"Yes. she is: and if you're coming
often you'd better hurry up and propose,
cause I've noticed with ull the others
when it goes on so long it never comes to
anything. Life.
soPoRIFIC SERMONS.
Weary Husband Sunday morning.
slow long has that confounded bell
been ringing2"
Wife-"Since six"
Husband-"Well, I guess I'll 90 to
church this morning and see if | can t
get little slcep."-Lite.
RECONCILIATION.
Tourist lin Kentucky)-"I hear that
the long-standing Corkright- Hampton
vendetta is ut an end at last, Colonel 2
What brought about the reconciliation"
Colonel Corkright (chcerfully)-"Oh,
by lucky chance sho: off the last
three of the Hemptons"- Puck.
ASKING FOR FURTHER INFORMATION.
This is specimen OF pig-iron." said
the Superintendent as he showed Miss
Backbay, OF Boston, through the foun-
dry.
"Aw, how interesting! Now would
you tell Inc how this-aw-porcine iron
differs from the other ort"-Juage.
BENEFICIAL EXERCISE.
Mr.. Pinkie Q0P. M.)-''My dear, the
doctor says brisk walk before going to
bed will insure sleep to insomnia suffer
ers like myself"
Mrs. Pinkic-"Well, my dear, will
clear the room so you can walk. Please
carry the baby with you."-Ncw York
Weekly.
MAKING A NAME FOR HIMSELF.
Cabassoul meets on the boulevard his
old friend CabaSnal, aho has been ten
| years away from France.
"Welcome back, old fellowl And
where are you living nowl"
sin Paris, of course"
"What are you doing2"
"Making my fortune-I am an Amer-
can dentist. Paris Figaro.
PROPER DISCIPLINE.
Meek little Hennpect lay at the point
OF death. With streaming eyes the
| family had assembled about the bedside