davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
Marrying a Widow.

No, son, don't marry a widow.
She is too calculating, and loving
by arithmetic is not romantic.
Real love should not have any more
sense than a bottle of soda water
suddenly tapped. 1t should sizz
and fuss just like there wasn't any
thing else on earth! All! the cleo
tric spark from the heart that has
not been tempered with.
The widow is all right, and she is
pretty-but don't marry her. The
idea OF a secondhand heart appears
flat and insipid-no foam. No, son,
don't make a pawnbroker shop out
of your trusting heart. If yon do
marry, teach your wife that you,
who gained her heart under the
pale glitter of the milky way, where
the restless young meteor chases its
love across the heavens-I say,
convince her that you were at the
barber shop until l o'clock a. m.
There is no memory so pleasing as
the knowledge that your wife knows
you would not lie!
But the widow is too fly. She
will kiss her second edition at 7:45
o'clock p. M. 1t will be duty kiss,
not like the gush of the geysers of
the Rockies, but tired and lethargic.
She will not coil about you like the
helpless and enticing ivy, while her
golden tresses wander over your E.
& w. collar. She will kiss you by
geometrical measurement, and say
at parting:
George, dear, it is just 7:45
o'clock, 1t will take you just five
minutes to get a drink, twenty min
utes to get shaved, and five minutes
for a shine. Here is a dollar, dear.
Bring back Csc and return at 8:15
o'clock, please, as we will have
bridal calls tonight"
No, boy, don't marry a CONNER
cial college. Get hold of a girl who
thinks what you say is true. and it
will take her fifteen years to find
ont what a mistake she has made.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
Said by Sam Jones.
From the Columbia Herald.


IF You don't boss your audience it
will boss you.
The meanest man in the world is
a hypocrite in the church.
Slang-why hog and dog are the
given names of half my crowd.
Foolishness is the stuff you rub
on fools, and it takes a heap to go
round.
I never was an Oklahoma fool nor
a fool who talked against the rab-
ble's noise.
When you get a woman's mouth
with a paddock on it you have her
all locked up.
Id rather be Judas Iscariot in
hell tonight than be a father lead
ing his family to ruin.
If some people would leave their
mouths at home there wouldn't be
enough left to go round.
Got no business bringing your
feelings to church with you. You
ought to leave them at home.
They tell me they have nine drug
stores in Columbia. What an I'M
healthy town o must have.
If you had rather let your little
old mouth run on than to hear me
preach 60 on and I'll stop.
If | could get all you people as
'traid of hell as you are of these
benches breaking down I'd catch
you.
| can wake up anything that amt
dead. No medicine will do a corpse
But if you are alive I'll
make you hump.
The business of whisky-selling
ought to be put where it belongs,
on a level with burglary, highway
robbery and thieving.
You old scamps going round
drinking drug store whisky. You
NANCY, lousy hounds Of hell, you.
You amt no count. Neighbor. I'd
quit it.
Some of you people in the church
are pious and eowardly. Others OF
you are mean and have grit. Still
Others are oughts with the ring
gone.
Quit this internal whisky drug
store business, keeping barrels Of
whisky behind boxes of pills. Ii
EVERY druggist in Columbia should
die tonight he would be in hell be-
| fore his feet got cold.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
TO THE TRADE
the storage of lumber,
and of the best
interest to trade
Scientific Notes.

A Swedish cavalry officer has
invented a horseshoe on which the
calks and clips are changeable.
The price O platinum has advanc.
ed fully TOPPER cent, owing to the in
creased use for electrical purposes.
The electric light plant at the
palace of Vienna is to be extended
SO as to make a total of 1900 in.
candescent lamps.
It has been found that certain
mines in Japan produce as good
coal for steamship purposes as the
best Welsh variety.
AVienna doctor declares that can
Ger can be arrested by an injection
of one of the coal-tar derivatives,
methyl violet.
The town council of Brussels has
resolved to do its own electric light.
ing and not grant concessions te
any company.
The telephone between Paris
and London having been so sue
%cessful, 1t is proposed to connect
Brussels and London. For that
purpose a cable will be laid be
tween Ostend and Dover.
The valuable copper wires uset
in the electrical work is a grea1
temptation to thieves, and accounts
of arrests for stealing of this kline
appear in papers all over THU
country.
The cheapest railway fare in the
world will be that one on the Cen.
trail London Railway, on which
there will be three workmen's
trains daily, the fare for six miles
being but two cents.
One million tubes for Koch's
lymph Is the work which is at pres
ent engaging the attention of a Ger
man glass works. The tubes are
made of a fine quality of glass ane
are closed with a glass stopper.
A toilet brush is made of twt
halves which are hinged and arr
detachable, one half being tht
brush ana the other halfthe mirror
while in the space between is I
comb, a tooth brush and a buttoI
hook.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
Central Business College, Soda
liza, Missouri.


One Of the most attractive dis
p at the Mexico fair was that
made by the Central Business Col
lege, Sedalia, Mo. This institution
is n of the most thorough and
enterprising business institutions in
America. Those who saw the exhi-
billions Of penmanship and rapid
calculation from this school certain
ly have evidence of the truthfulness
of the above assertion. The PEN
manship was the most practical and
elegant that we have ever seen. and
words cannot convey an adequate
idea of the rapid calculation. This
is indeed an age of wonders.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
The Soap
that
Cleans
Most
is Lenox.
The Alton Stimulates Travel.

The Alton Stimulates Travel.
CHICAGO, ILL, August IA
radical change in the methods of
conducting the passenger business
of the West will in all probability
be one of the Immediate results of
the separation of the Alton road
from the Western Passenger As
ISOLATION and the determination of
it's officials to go it alone. One re-
suit Of the present conflict has been
the reduction of the rate from Chi
cago to Kansas City from $3.50 to
$40. 1t is altogether likely that a
$40 rate is here to stay. The change
referred to, however, is Of a different
character. In some parts of the
New EnglandS States where the oun
try is very thickly peopled the roads
are in the habit of giving frequent
cheap excursions. The rates fixed
for these occasions are as low as the
communication rates given by roads
doing a suburban business. The eff
feet of them has been to fill the
trains with excursionists that a
handsome margin Tor profit has been
left the roads running them. 1t is
the intention of the Alton to inaugu-
rate very cheap excursions.
Last Sunday the Alton ran n of
these excursions from st. Louis to
Springfield. The rate was 81 for
the round trip. Tt had twenty car
loads of people, or between 1900
and 1900, and its ordinary travel
was not interfered with. While it
was a member of the Western Pas
senger Association it could not give
such excursions without the consent
of the other roads. Now it has
nothing to consult but it's own in
terests, and those interests seem to
lie in the multiplication OF these
cheap excursions.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
GO AND VIEW THE LAND.
Three Cheap Harvest Excursions.

On August 18th, September 18th
and September 18th, Low Rate
Harvest Excursions will be run
from all stations on the Wabash
Railroad to the Great Farming Re-
gions of the West, Northwest,
South and Southwest. Tickets
good returning for thirty days from
date of sale.
The crops were never SO good as
this year, and the railroad rates,
via Wabash, never so low. What
ever section you wish to visit, be
sure and write to OF call upon the
nearest Wabash ticket agent fol-
particulars as to rates, time oil
trains, accommodations, etc.
If you do not live adjacent to
the Wabash, write at once to
#. CHANDLER,
Gen'l Pass. and Ticket. Ag't,
st. Louis, Mo.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20

No Third Party for Missouri Alliances.
ST. LOUIS, Aug. 13.-The Even
ing Chronicle has gathered reports
from seventeen county Alliances,
declaring against a third party and
the sub-treasury scheme. Seven
counties indirectly indorse them.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
A Cute Remark.

A we'll known Alexander street
resident recently grew suspicious of
the honesty of his iceman and,
borrowing scales, weighed the daily
supply for several mornings. His
little 5.year-old daughter watched
the operation with interest and
when her new baby brother was
taken down to be weighed a few
days later she startled the nurse by
exclaiming "There, [ 'spose
Dod's been cheating on the baby"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
Badly Burned.

vAsDALIA, Mo-, August ID.
A. Jamisen, of the firm of Black
burn & Jamison, druggists, was hor.
nbly burned about the hands and
face, caused by the explosion OF an
alcohol electric cigar lighter.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
Terribly MaugIed,

VANpALIA, Mo-, Aug. 13.-Whit
Chinn, a boy is years old, was
horribly mangled by a runaway
team which he was working to a
pillow near here this evening. He
was thrown in front of the pillow
and had the who top of his head
torn off. He can not recover.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20

Mrs. w. B. Carlock and two
sons, Bryan and Willie, of Bloom
ington, Illinois. are the guests Of
the families of ]. w. Mason and
L. L. Lee.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20

some everlasting blunder. I've nothing
to conceal from these ladies or from
anybody. What do you want? Speak
out.'
"Just rs You please, Mr.. Darke," said
the other, drawing q paper from his
pocket. 81 have n warrant here for
your arrest"
Dear mel" calculated Mrs Raven.
Olympia, we really must
Keppel lifted his chin and laughed.
"My arrest!" he repeated. "Tou have
come to the wrong place. lowe nobody
anything. You " me an apologyf'
This isn't an action for debt, Mr..
Darke." returned the stranger gravely.
"It's q serious thing, sir; couldn't wen
be more so. You're acquainted with
Mr.. Harry Trent. aren't youT.
Eyes"
"Seen him lately, haven't your
II saw him last night at his new
house. What of itsgn
The stranger fixed his eyes upon him.
"Ar. Trent was found dead In his study
this morning" he said, speaking slowly.
"There was a knife through his heart-a
japanese dagger with q carved handle.
And it is my duty TO arrest yuu on sus-
picion of numbering him."
Dzrke closed his lips, and his chest
heaved. His face, after a moments pal
ior. flushed red. The officer watched him
narrowly, and now a second officer ap-
peared IN the doorway. In the rear Of
the studio Mis- Raven had dropped into
. chair and was emitting hysteric cries.
Darke slowly turned until his eyes rest.
ed upon Olympia, who had remained mo-
tienless and mute.
do you believe itys he said TO her.
rNof sfe answered in O Whispered
voice. drawing in her breath.
Tho no matter for the rest / an
! innocent. Take rom .yrnshar hn,na
Mexico weekly ledger., 1891-08-20
r E IN
OPIUM e. LIQUOR
HABITS CURED
WITHOUT NERVOUS SHOCK
Or Distress.
Home or Sanitafium Treatment.

Our Double Chloride Of Gold Remedies
for the cure of the OPIUM and LIQUOR HABITS.
have been on the market for ten years, during
which time they never failed to make a Cure OF
either habit. where they have been given even a
meaere chance. We will cure Opium Patients
at their own homes in from 4 to 6 weeks, pain
less, and without loss of food, sleep or occupa-
ton. We easily Cure Drunkenness inside Of
three weeks. Full proof of the above furnished
and literature for the Cure of either Habit sent
free on application. Address,
LESLIE Z. KELLEY. N. D.,
Dwight, Illinois.
he Mexico LED GER knows of a large humble
of cures effected by Dr. Keeley's treatment. At
least a score Of men we know personally have
been saved. Not a failure has been made and
ge.t pleasure IN recommending DIR. Kelley and
ne We consider his cure certain
and permanent. -tEDIToR LEDGER.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16
spots on Venus.

A bulletin Of the Belgium Royal
Academy OF Sciences states that the
dark spots that have been noticed by
observers on Venus are OF "A permanent
character. Observations have been
made OF successive rotations OF this
planet aud the facts demonstrate that
after an interval of,three years the spots
were fixed enough TO be recognized,
and that the markings are not acct
dental, but are probably due TO some
contiguration OF the land, like those Of
the planet Mars. The atmosphere is so
dense on Venus that the success OF the
recent observations was much inter
fsred with.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16
PREMIER If BULGARIA.
SHAREHOLDERS. THE ~HlsMARck
OF THE BALKANS"
since sis seventeenth kear BFe Has
Been the Hero al Plots and Conn
serpioss. Daring Adventures and
lgair-nsr-adsh Escapes.

Tl,e bullet Of the midnight assassin
that missed its billet ia the person OF
Prince Minister StambouloH in Sofia
came very near igniting the powder
mine of southeastern Europe. aud pre-
cipitating that war which. ia the dris-
tic language OF Prince Bismarck, will
ssligner "a blanc the nations that II in
wolves. writes Stephen BoEsal IN Har-
pers' Weekly.
Stefan Nicolof StambouloG. who
since 1884 has shaped, more titan any
other man. the destinies OF the turbu-
lent Balkan peninsula. claims to be a
fatalist. In his heart he must confess
that lac has been greatly favored by
the. Fateful Three. Since his soven-
teenth year when he ran away from "A
theological seminary In Odessa. where
he was being educated for the priest
hood, he has been the hero OF plots and
OF counterplots, OF daring adventures
and OF hair-breadth escapes, until now,
as he looks about him, scarcely enter
Ing upon his 3Sth year, there does not
remain single comrade OF the patriot
band who. with Luban karaveloH to
lead, and with NJ. KatkoH and the Mos
COW Panslavists TO supply the sinews
OF revolutionary warfare, commenced.
IN 1870. the crusade against the Cres-
cent, which led TO the atrocities
committed by the Pomak highlanderS,
The Russo-Turkish war, aud the eman-
cipation of Christian Bulgaria from
the mastery OF the Ottoman Turk.
Some OF SlambouloH's comrades died
as Bulgarian volunteers ir the war.
Some, sad 10 relate. have been sent
into exile with the sign-manual of their
quondam friend and comrade, STAIN
bouloif. upon the warrant OF their bun
ishment. Some have been broken IN
heart and spirit by the bastinado-sucE
as Petko karavaloff -administered by
SHAREHOLDERS order; some by long i'm
prisonmcnt in the Black Mosque. like
Peter StanchoH. Others have been
shot for Treason as Kosta Pi,nitza,
though in his breast there lodged al.
ready IA score OF bullets won in fighting
for the iather-land.
OF all the band Stambouloff alone
survives, with a smile upon his face
that would seem TO Indicate IL quiet
conscience, an ambition that is we'll
nigh satisfied, and magnificent conf
dence in his star~which cannot fail q
impress. He has constitution OF iron
aud considerable physical strength. the
happy heritage OF the years Of hardship
and exposure lie spent with tile shep-
herds in the bleak businesses OF the
Balkans after every unsuccessful revo
luton. with the Turkish zaptiehs OF
his heels. aud with but slIeepskin be
tween him and the weather--his cloth
ing by day. and his couch by night.
| spent week in daily intercourse
with the Bulgarian Premier In the liz
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16

Jumbo sort on sOiree every morning.
Finally he became accustomed To un-
Usual sights and sounds, and from that
time TO the time Of his death we had 90
trouble with him.
81 nursed the first elephant born in
captivity that we know or She is
with the herd stu. Her name is Co
lumbia. and she Is III wears old The
second baby elephant born in captivity,
on Feb. ,, 1892 lived only until 1885.
Tile trimming of elephants requires
vast dea OF patience and much care.
For instance. TO teach one OF them TO
stand on his hind feet requires heavy
block and tackle. just back OF the
fore legs is placed the rope which runs
over block, and to which is attached
another elephant. Elephant number
two walks away, elephant number one
lifts his fore legs from the iioor. Some
times tins las TO be done for days be-
fore the beast realizes what is required
OF him. Then he is quite willing 10 at
tempt il himself. AT first lifting his
feet q few inches from the floor he is
finally persuaded 10 stand erect on his
hind legs This simply illustrates the
ponderous difficulty ana the great
amount OF patience required for train
ing the animal. But once taught he
generally remembers H. | spent
several months once, though, trying 10
teach don" TO write his name. He
learned TO hold the chalk correctly,
and after tracing q capital "D' for
several score OF thousand times he be-
came an adept in writing DIS" but
when he had mastered the tmall 40"
we found that the construction OF the
letter ''D' had entirely faded from
Don's mind; SO L gave IL up. We have
TO be fertile and imaginative in devils
ing tricks and schemes The entry OF
the keeper on a chair placed on the
tusks OF an elephant is an idea which
flashed across me some few weeks ago.
| tried IL and found that II worked, and
IL has been one OF the most sensational
features of our act this year. Very
often tricks on which We have set great
store do not Ego" ut all. IL is exas.
perating, but then II we trainers are
not gifted with patience we have no
excuse for being trainers.
"Yes. | have trained all sorts OF
birds and beasts, but | never found any
animal so docile, patient. or obedient
as the elephant. They are the only
animals that will answer 20 their
names promptly and without mistake.
But u is "a long, tedious piece OF work.
Only "A natural love for the animals
could persuade any man 20 undertake
the job | do IL because | love the
life. Probably TO my dying day
shall be with my herd. They are an
inexhausti BILE study"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16

a Frcnehman Devisrs the Much,
dongcd-For Instrument.

IT,. portable telephone, for which
engineers. surveyors. army aud navy
people lave been signing for so long,
came at last. The stfangest part Of / lac
inlention Is the fact that IL - "A French
mdn who evolved IL. aud not an Amerl-
can, as Is usual in such cases. MI.
Roulez, a French inventor, devised tho
instrument. and electricians every
where a-e wondering why some one
never thought OF it before. The great
trouble VA this direction OF invention
was TO find something to do away with
the necessity OF a battery. Magnets
without number have been made for
the purpose. but until the present tine
none has answered the requirement.
Nj. Roulez conceived the idea of using
TWO magnets with the same poles OPP
posed ard separated by small bit OF
soft wire, instead OF the OLD horseshoe
magnets With wire bobbins that have
heretofore failed. With his new in
strument the inventors claim results AS
perfect as by the use Of the stationary,
return circuit telephone. 1t can be
carried in small hand bag. requires
no support except the head OF the user,
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16

hands, rs n sort OF balancingpole,
metal rod beut in the form OF an M
verted V, or I~.ther OF a. halrpin VIII
the ends somewhat opened apart.
BY reason OF the bringing OF the CEN
Ter OF gravit below the figure by this
rod or baancng-pole the puppet Is
kept in an upright position on any sun
port which is narrow enough TO be
SPAWNED by the two arms OF the pole.
Placed on "A raised board or sup, set 40
slight inclination. this puppet. wll ch
le marcheur infatigable or tireless
walker, will march along. putting FOR
ward first one foot and then the other,
and initiating the movementsot a some
what stiif-Iegged walker.
There is no propelling mechanism
about the toy whatever, Simply joint
ing OF the legs to the body ugn a
ronnd horizontal pivot fastened 40 tse
ends. with another rod und 4rneath this
one and passing through two square
holes made in the legs, ns shown IN the
illustration. The second rod prevents
the walker from taking too long steps
The key TO this toys PEDESTRIAN tai
ent is a simple mechanical principle.
The walker rests the weight OF his body
upon one OF his legs while he Is putting
the other forward. The axis Of his
body does not rest upon vertical
plane. and in order TO cause nim 10
move forward on the inclined support
il IS necessary in starting him 10 give
him very slight shake sidewise. lhi,
shake. increased 10y the oscillation OF
the balancing pole. causes the walker
20 lean first TO the right side and then
TO the left.
Suppose that he is. NJ a given mo-
ment, inclined TO the right. All the
weight OF the body, that is 10 say, both
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16
OVER $4,000 ANUscRlPTs
Sent 10 One Magazine, OF which Not
900 Were Accepted.

Mr.. Box, the editor OF Tie Ladies'
Home Journal, recently gave some in
teresting figures relative TO the manu-
scripts received by his magazine dur.
ing 1890. MIR. Box SAYS that he re
ceived at his office "A total number OF
II, 205 manuscripts. or these 2,2SC
were poems, LAG stories and Lin
mscellaneoussr or the poems.
60 were accepted; OF the stories, only
81. and OF the articles 4l0, OF which
latter, however, over 300 were solicited
articles. Thus il will be seen OF the
entire 10, 00c manuscripts only 491 were
accepted. triile over 3 per cent. De.
Quoting from this the 800 accepted al.
ticles written at the editors solicita.
ton, the net percentage OF unsolicited
manuscripts accepted is brought down
10 1917, or little more than per cent.
Statistics such ms these show how much
utter trash is being written, and the
number Of persons writing who ought
TO be employing their time at some.
thing else aud better.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16

for so much cash where he stood. II
cost ns nearly as much again 10 get
hiW away. Jumbo had been brought
seventeen years before from The Paris
geological Gardens. At the time he
was hut five feet high and he was ship
ped for rhinocerous. As YOU know.
lie was the largest elephant ever
known-that ~, when we got him. In
addition TO the opposition OF the people
Of London. the Society for the Proven
lion OF Cruely TO Animals and various
other well known organizations,
Jumbo himself presented an al
most inSuperable obstacle TO his
transfer. For seventeen years he had
not Teen outs de OF the garden. aud at
> ght OF "a horse or cnrriage he refused
Go walk. So we took him back. Then
we searched for n ship in which we
could transport him. ID stood TO reason
Re could not be PLACED on the deck.
There was no place bet tween decks for
Tim. The only meth, a OF iransporta-
ton possible was by storage in the
Told, down which I've could be dropped
with tackle and fall through hatch.
way. and here WIS the rub. IL was
extremely difficult TO God y steamer
which boast eel n hatchway large enough
to lower the crate containing the great
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-05-16

QUEEN NATALIE. OF tie the court were
curious TO know how she would take
the arrangement. Their curiosity was
soon grntided, for upon entering the
ediiIce Natalie marched quietly but
disdainfulIy past the pew, and without
even bestowing glance In that direc-
ton went right up TO the throne.
where, according 10 etiquette, the
King, her son was entitled TO SIT.
With one vigorous grab OF her royal
right hand she tore the dust covering
of and seated herself on the throne
with graod aud imperious air. Her
action was as impetuous IA u was un..
expect ed--and IL WAS unexpected-and
IL evoked a storm CT applause from 49,
hundreds OF persons in the church.