St. Paul daily globe., 1891-12-06
PUMPED FULL OF FACTS.

1 dui over Hlgns on tnat account lie asked
menot to let it so any farther, and 1 prom
ised to help him to keep the thing quiet. The
youth wore low-browed, beetling cast of
eountenance, and long surtout which
looked as though it had gone through many
atoot in company with.the wearer. Bis ''toot''
ensemble on the morning he left st. Paul
was also a striking testimonial to the power
OF the wine press and the energy of Chief of
Police Clark. Subsequently Judge Corey
hned him $40 for contributory negligence.
and he pulled out of the city on Pullman.
But. as Ruddigore Kipling would say. that
is another story swiped from the police re-
porter.
asked the young man if he intended to
go farther west in search of information, and
he replied that it would be entirely unneces-
sary. as he found things fully as woolly as
they had been represented and considerably
wilder. He said he represented a syndicate
of4eading papers in New York and Boston,
which had all chipped in on his transporta-
ton. He had come in on night train from
Chicago and was resolved to spend a couple
OF hours riding about the city on street car,
aud thus absorb pabulum, as well as ozone,
for his series of syndicate articles about the
great Northwest
Il suppose he said, as he toyed airily and
hungrily with my fne-cut chewing tobacco
There is pretty much of a sameuess the far
ther west you CO. even if you should go as
lar west as the end of thisi interurban 'elec-
tricity line, as you folks call it,
L told him that the great Northwest didn't
lose ANYTHING at the other end of this line
put that the once glorious scenery between
the Twin Cities was at present broken up by
a long series of solid building improvements
destined at day in the near future to weld,
consolidate, amalgamate, combine and coa-
lesce the two cities into one majestic whole
that would go on fructifying down the cor
ridors of time ana paralyze Chicago and
West Superior
He said that was just the kind of informa-
ton he was after. and taking out a three
pound folio note book begged my permission
to use it, leaving out the big words and sand
papering the syntax.
by the way" he added a sudden gleam
OF intelligence shooting athwart his feat
ureS you folks out here are pretty rapid,
amt your
Yes, we keep somewhere in sight of Eli
in his trot around the circuit, but we do not
desire to pose ostentatiously as record break
erS. We are all enterprising but strictly vir-
tuous By the way, you have the electric
street car service in New York, presums?"
No, he replied, I'VE still use horses on
our surface roads. It's more rickerShay aud
obstrepuous, you know. But with the grad
ual improvement in horse culture now going
ON In the country we are getting hold of some
pretty superior stock on our lines, and 1
shouldn't wonder if next season would see
our more prominent car horses wearing rus
set harness and banged tails. You know
New York stops at nothing in the way of ex-
pense when she once gets started
Il suppose that is the reason why she is
shy about allowing herself 10 get started on
the Grant monumeut?'
Evidently he failed 10 catch the full i'm
port of this cruel remark, as he appeared to
be fascinated by window full of open faced
loDsters shrimpS, clans and oyster shells in
Third street fish market.
"Gracious - he exclaimed. do Won have
Holsters and oysters out here SO far away
from New YORK and Baltimore?"
''Oh, yes 1 answered, '.but those which
you see are not the somnolent shell fish of
the effete East. These crustaeeans -"
''Crustaceans: that's good and he made
lOng-hand note of it IL his big book IN
spring that on the syndicate when get back,
and knock 'em silly"
These oysters" | continued, modifying
the intelligence to suit the crude ear Of the
New Yorker, ''these oysters we raise right
here in the Northwest. We raise them in
low, inland beds, sort of trunde beds. as it
were, in the summer, alternating the crop
with celery and asparagus. First a crop of
oysters, then celery. aud lastly asparagus.
This is what is known as diversified farming
of which you have doubtless read in the pat
ent office reports"
II have, quite frequent" he said, that's
one thing the syndicate told me to watch out
for-diversified farming. How do you spell
diversified i'll ST. Paul?',
. wrote it down for him in my rude, Spen-
cerian chiropody. and continued:
This not only shows the great diversity of
our soil aud climate. but it illustrates in a
touchful manner the beautiful and cardinal
principle of rotation in crops. You have
heard of that.'
Blamed if that isn't another thing the
syndicate told me to look out for particu-
laily. The syndicate said that whenever l
heard of case of rotation in crops to go
right there and see EN- rotate
well. put that down in your ledger"
He did So and | again took up the thread
of my remarks, and continued
This rotary idea was first suggested by
Uncle Jerry Rusk. Put that down, too. The
campaign of '92 is drawing ON its pink silk
tights for the season. and the ardent seere-
tary of Beans, June bugs aud col liver oil
likes to see his name in the New York papers
as often as once week"
The young man jotted down the intelli-
gence hurriedly, and inquired:
How about the lobsters?"
'They, TOO, are indigenous to the soil and
climate of the Northwest. The Seek-no-Fur-
ther lobster, bless his dear crimson, b1
slightly fossilized epidermis, is the prime IA
vorite in the Northwest. Then we have also
the Early Dwarf, Plymouth Rock, I.imping
Larry Hobsous Choice, Snarleyow, Dog
Face, Ready Fat Fryer, Big Foot, Sockless
Simpson, Fatal Fassstt, Rancid Night mare.
Pensive Pincher, Salad slump, Great-Clawed
Camper, Sweet Girl Graduate, Pioneer Press.
Fan Tail and many other varieties of lob
sters. Got those all down?''
"Yes-yes.' he replied, with great guIp.
'ah now did you say you cultivated them
III shoals. or SchoolS?'
In schools mostly. We have got manual
training school for adOlescent Holsters: also
one for butter"
For butter.' the young man said. quickly
making note of the fact on one of his cuffs
instead OF his petty cash book, why do YOU
require manual training school for but,er?r
ITO give it strength. You know our Western
butter is not nearly so robust as butter raised
down in New York and Massachusetts. It's
also balder and more susceptible to sudden
atmospheric changes. l do not know why
this is so, but it is Perhaps it is owing to
the climate. or maybe our butter is not con-
s,itutionally as strong. Heredity most likely
has something to do with it. Got that
down:"
Yes. oh yes and I'm truly grateful. Man
ual training schools for butter"
For butter or worse, added punching
him piayfully in The small of his back with
sharp umbrella; ''see the pOint?''
'-Oh, yes. and feel it in my lumbar region.
but l must get away back East tomorrow
morning early, by the bright light I'm
thousand times obliged to you for informa-
ton. You seem to shed information, facts
data and figures as easily as my hotel pillow
sheds feathers"
NO, thanks" replied, ''you are welcome
It's only when such enterprising chaps as
YOU come out amongst us WesternePs and