The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-01-03
TOLSTOI ON DEATH.
Some Thoughts That Have Been
Expressed by Him.

From Lyef Tolstoi to A. A. Phet: "Oct.
II, 1860, think you already know
what happened. On September 20th he died,
literally in nv arms Nothing In
nv life made such an impression on me. lie
used to say truly that there is nothing worse
than DEATH But when you consider seri-
ouslv that death is the end OF everything,
then life becomes an unmitigated evil. what
profits it to strive and cry when of what was
once Nikolai Tolstoi = Nothing Is
left. He never said he felt the approach OF
DEATH but it seemed TO me he watched It's
every step and knew for certain how much
time was still left. A few minutes before
is death he dosed, and suddenly AWAKEN,
ing whispered with honor What is thatY
IL was that he saw death, this consumption
of his being in nothingness, aud II ne
found nothing to grasp, what shail nhu'
Less than nothing. Ana,
of course neither l nor any one else Will
struggle with death as he did. To the last
moment he did not give himself up to death;
did everything Tor himself; tried TO be occu-
pied, wrote, asked about my writings and
advised me; but all this, it seemed to me.
he was doing, not by an inner tendency, but
on principle. Only one thing, nature, was
left to the end On the eve Of his death he
went into his room, and, through weakness,
fell ON his bed near the window. when l
came in he. said, with tears III his eyes,
How happy l was for whole hour. From
earth he came. 10 earth he Will
return.
zone thing only is left-a dim hope that,
somewhere in nature part of which you
will become in the earth, there will be some
thing left and found. Every one who saw
his last moments said how wonderfully
quietly and calmly he died. But know
with what frightful tUrtureS, because not
single feeling escaped me; thousand times
| repeat TO myself Let the dead bury their
Dead but ! must spend the strength | still
have on something. 1t IS impossible 10
persuade the stone 10 tumble up and not
down, whittier it Is attracted. You cannot
laugh at Jest you are weary of; you cannot
eat when YOU are not hungry; what is
the uSe Of everything? Tomorrow will be-
gin all the tortures of death, with the I'M
cleanue>S of lies and self-decelving, and Will
end IN n0thingnaSS: nullity for yourself.
Straneel Be useful be
virtuous, be happy MS long as you live,
say people TO each other, and you say-'the
happiness, the virtue and the usefulness con-
5 81 in truth Aud the truth | have gath
cred in thirty-two years is that the situation
we are placed in IS terrible. Take life as
it is; you put yourself in that situation
Yes. of course; l do take it as it is. As
soon as the man reaches certain point of
development he will see clearly that every
thug is folly, deceit; and the truth, which
he still loves more than anything, is fright
full. When you see it distinctly you awake
in terror and say, with my brother, What is
itP But, of course, so long as you possess
the desire Of knowing and telling truth, YOU
will know, and tell 1t. This is all that is
left TO me out of my moral world above
which | cannot put myself This only will
l do. but not in the form of your art. Art is
tlful lie."-MemoirS OF A. a. Phet, Russian
Review