The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-19
EOWsBR ALWAYS RIGHT.
His Poor Wife Tells Some of the
Trouble She Has With Him. Il

From the Detroit Free Press.
I once overheard middle-aged man
giving young man bit of advice. The
latter was about to be married, and the
former said:
"If you begin right, Tom, you will have
no trouble Never let your wife appear to
know as much as you do. What you don't
know you must assume to know. Never
take back anything you say, no matter how
closely you are cornered."
Perhaps Mr.. Bowser fell in with this
same man Just before we were married, for
he csrtainly has stuck to the text ever since
the wedding day. One day friend brought
US cat to help make home happy. MIR.
Bowser admired her very much, and while
stroking her back he observed:
"She is indeed a fine specimsns5ofs the
feloine race"
"You mean feline, my DEAR" answered.
81 do, ehl Not if know myself 1t is
well that you did not use the word feline IN
company"
"Mr. Bowser. there is no such word as fe-
loine 1t is feline. You don't mean pur-
loin, do youN
what! Do you mean to tell me that
am a blockhead! While my word ought to
be amply sufficient to settle any matter.
SHALL in this case, back it up with the
dictionary. 20 fetch it, and then see where
you stand.n
81 told you So" I said. as 1 found the
word and pointed to it, sit is feline, plain
as day."
Then it is a misprint," he hotly replied.
1--WE known of lots of such cases. The
printer who set that up was probably tight
or half asleep"
well, ask Mr.. Smith"
mot much! A lawyer doesn't know any
better than do.n
"Will you ask Mr.. Carter?"
mot What l know. know, and that
settles itln
That evening our family physician hap
pened TO run in, being in the neighborhood,
aud | asked him in the presence Of Mr..
Bowser:
doctor, did you ever hear Of a feloinep
"Landsl No" he replied.
well, have!" doggedly observed Mr.
Bowser.
what is it7n
ga cat"
DOL see. You mean felinei"
mo, don't; mean feoline, and it is
teloine, and I'll bet any man on this earth
million dollars to cent that it is feloineW
Ihe doctor saw how it was and had no
more to say. proved Mr.. Browser wrong by
webster, Worcester, and all other dead and
IN. On another occasion / asked him what
sort OF tree 1t was neighbor was setting
out for shade, and ne replied:
mat shows how observing you were
curing the sixteen years you lived on
Isrm. It's soft maple. Of course. Better
go out aud take close look at it, SO you
wan always remember
II thought it was elm.n
"Humphm
"And NOW xzbor o.,.,a o.. Iany~ nIo-o
know 1t is an elm. OF course it is.n
:. are you crazy, or do you call it an elm
SIMPLY Tor the sake of disputing me"
know 1t is an elm."
wen, know it isn'tl It's soft maple.
and that settles it,"
workp'
Dare II Come on, and see how you will
take back seat The only way to cure
them"
We went out and stopped as IL by acct
Oeht, and inquired of the man at work:
-, would you tell me whether that tree is
sotS maple, elm or chestnutF
to be of ems"
THANK your
g., LOOK here, man." put in Mr.. Bowser,
10 you know an elm from a soft mapleN
=, ought TO, sir. I've been furnishing
snaae trees for the last twenty years."
ana you call that an elm?
of course / dow
linen you don't know one variety from
3uotner. It's soft maple.n
Dld you come out here to call me q fool
VI harp demanded the man, getting very
red in the face.
II you don't know one tree from another
you'd better quit the business"
got Mr.. Bowser away, and later on
proved by at least twenty people that the
zee was an elm, and that there wasn't a
sott maple on the whole square, but he
crossed his hands under his coattails and
n1eed himself of his heels and replied:
MRS. Bowsar, when I say it's a soft
maple that settles the question forever.
a our calling it an elm simply betrays
disposition to carp and cavil.n
neighbor Of ours built barn and fin
!shed 1t with a cupola; we were looking at
~ one evening when Mr.. Bowssr observed:
don't think that cupalo is such great
ornament, after ALL"
GU mean cupols. my dear"
mats exactly what he meant, and he got
Tangled bit, but having once pronounced
tne word he was bould to stick. He there
fore replied:
think ! am old enough to know what
mean. When say cupalo mean cupalo,
Ana not the ridge pole nor the alley door. y
And you insist it is cupalog
mere Is no insist about it. 1t is simply
cupalo, and that's all there is TO it. IL peo-
pie wa It To sf0vv THAR ferr..raroo hv calling