Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-07-17
OLD HUNDRED, B. C, AND
THE BICYCLE.
BY AMOS R. WELLS.

Old Hundreds real name was P. r.
Simmons. "Just p. Tt" he always in
sisted. "They don't stand for ANYTHING.
Father and mother ran out of names
when they came to me, and gave me mi.
tails" So the village wag dubbed him
Old Hundred, for short, and the name
adhered.
For Old Hundred was one of those
dried up little men who might be con-
sidered twenty if some inconvenient cid
ladies did not remember holding them in
their arms just forty years ago. He wore
dainty juvenile mustache, walked with
smart swing, although one might no.
tice that his heels came down rather
stiffiy, and played games among the most
frivolous at the church socials.
He was tailor, an excellent one, bv
the way, and his apprentices had by this
time ceased to grin and chuckle when
their master sprang down from his cross
legged position on the table every morn
ing precisely at ten, as b. C. passed on
her way to the postoffice, after the mail.
He would jump down, snatch up his hat
in an absent minded, blushing way, and
remark that the mail must be distributed
by this time. If the apprentices had
ceased to smile at this sort of thing, you
may be sure that it had become an old
story.
Indeed, Old Hundred had been court.
ing b. c. for long, long time. And
that was too bad, because B. C. deserved
better fate. more vigorous lover. No
one could tell when Susy Bennett was
first called B. G. If one could have told
that, you see, it would have given some
clue to her age. Susy was a dear old
girl, however, with kind, laughing eyes,
and a shrewd little brain of her own.
1t wasn't her fault if she was getting up
startlingly near very rheumatic forty
without netting Old Hundred.
For when man has gone through
forty years with sneaking desire for
matrimony tili,lating his heart all the
while, without the grit and manlness to
say SO when given opportunity by the
proper person once, twice, daily, Cupid
despairs of him more than of the most
rabid mysogynist in Bacheloriom. There
is such thing, you know, as heart
which is too soft for those dainty little
darts, which merely nurses them as
feather pillow would.
One day the ancient twain were stroll
ing back from the postoffice at 1890
A. NJ; with the incipient courtship- air
which had been petrified so long ago.
She was smiling at him, bravely and
hopefully, and talking bright nothings,
while his feather-pillow of heart
futtered drowsily.
Suddenly there flashed around the cor
ner and bore straight down upon them
Will Davis and Lucy his young wife, on
their bicycles, off for days holiday to-
gcther, if one might judge from their
bundles. Upright they were, noiseless,
swift, graceful and full of life in every
movement and in every iuttering gar
ment, glittering eyed, with handsome,
healthful faces.
Old Hundred and B. C. turned to gaze
admiringly after them.
''How finely Mrs. Davis rides!' mur-
INJURED Old Hundred.
"And how exceedingly graceful Mr..
Davis is!' responded B. G. rather sharp
ly.
"I've often thought that should like
wheel, said Old Hundred, with, of
course, no perception of her annoyance.
''And should enjoy one very much, "
added B. C.
"You" Old Hundred. blurted out,
before he thought. He took mental
credit to himself for not finishing the
sentence.
''You can get tricycles nowadays for
almost nothing said B. C. slyly, ssand
OF course that is the only wheel you would
think of at your time of life, Mr.. Sim
mons!"
"Hum!' said Old Hundred, and
"Huml" said B. G.
Now don't expect to be treated to
lovers quarrel. Our sedate couple had
got far beyond that dangerous stage of
courtship. Yet as they parted somewhat
grimly, .'I'll show him. muttered B.
c., and '.I'll show herl" muttered Old
Hundred. And that very afternoon the
heart of the village bicycle agent was
made glad by an order for lady's safe
ty, and an order for a safety for our
doughty tailor
That was on a Monday, and our mar
rative calmly skips month at this point,
Calmly and mercifully.
From time immemorisl it had been