Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-04-23
IEA-TABLE SALAD

oALAD.
o,i w Hen morse rears it is verv much
awe, even if it does seem to ho l nn ia
iasC legs.-'St. Joseph Neacs. " vi i''
s hhE only KIND Of cake that the AVERAGE
small BOY has severe objections tn iS6 %
cake OF soap.-,St. Joseph Ne,rs, '' " 10 d
/, VIE all the 400 methods of imnrov;no,
h tlle memory invented nothing up to date
delphia Times. N"' i1o'e'-l "'e0-
>, SOME people can trust God as lono as
ttihey have plenty of money Int w6a "o
we oahk breaks their religion all Does
with lt.-Rams Horn. OH eoe0
+u nRAM 5,, viii this dog bite poor old
Hired Girl-"Just as quick as fat
young one. Git "'-Epoci. w. " ''''
-, C I JERK cloth is very durable.
madame, | assure you"
Nnopper-" es, but take it awav. #
is not endurable. "-Ne,O York Herald
JUDGE BLEEcKER (ofNew York VISITING
a boston friend to his friends parrot
Does Polly want a cracker?d Parrot
or, L would thank YOU for a bis
Mrs. Hicks" Mary, where is Dickvq,,
Mary-"Out in the back ward. mum ,,
Mrs. Hicks-"Go out and see what he
Is doing, and tell him to stop it."-Har-
per's Bd2ar.
Italy doesn't seem to think
this country can fight" Van Pelt-'It
has evidently got President Harrison's
war and duck shooting records mixed,'
Ne,C York Sum-
JACK MEADows-"I want plain ring"
JeWeler-" Would you like filed one ?"
Jack Meadows-"No. Give me an emptv
one. | know a girl that will fill it exact
ly to my notion. "-Jepelers' Weekly.
"WHAr wages do you expect?" asked
Mrs. B. of the candidate for the position
OF cook-lady. 81 never works for wages,
mum, returned the cook-lady; II goes
on salary or nothin'. '-Epoch
GUzzLER-You are ruined bv your
sentimental ideas, Gusher. You are a
slave to woman's smiles.
Gusher-All right, old man. You're
slave to your own smiles.-SprinqfeLd
Sparks.
AT THE FIRST BLUsH.-Landlady-
How do you like the butter, Mr..
Blngster?| Bingster (the new board
er)-"l can tell better, madam, after
we have known each other longer"-
Judge.
about 10 O'clock" said Miss Blocker.
"He constructed a servile departure for
his domicile at that hour, did hep" re-
piled Miss South-Church, of Boston,
Judge.
HE-"I wish you would sing that dear
old song 'BackWar Turn Backward, O,
Time, in Thy Flight" Sweet Girl-"I
might wake mother up by singing; but
| will turn the clock back, if that will
do. "-Good NeaOs.
~ LOVE that Harry Smith"
''Do you, really"
eyes. He has the loveliest mono
gram"
"What is it?"
"$."-NetU York SIN.
LADY TO tramp)-"What is your
Nance"
Tramp-''Theyc call me Keely Motor"
Lady-"Why do they call you that"
Tramp Because ] won't work. -
SprinQfeld (W.) Sparks.
"W1L1E," said the visitor, "what is
YOUR ambition ?' "I'd like" said the
bow. putting down his yellow-covered
story of the plains, ''to have people
tremble like leaves at the mere mention
of my name. "-Hcrper's Young People.
MIsrRnss- bridget, what's that child
crying so wildly for ?'' Nurse-"shure,
mum, he's just drinked all his soothln,
syrup. and ct the cork, and | don't
know what now ails him unless it's the
bottle he wants to schwally. '-Phdrn'a-
ceetjcaL Era.
YA1LERBY Is A. M.)-"Wha' kind lob
a dorg am dat O. yourn, Nose !"
Johnsing--"D am bird-dog.
Yallerby-"Sho! You hain't got no
gum aoh. h,,+
when I'se huntin' chickens late at night,
dat dog, sab, kin hear an interruption
haff-a-mile away. "-Ieras SJtshgs.
LEFT ALL AROUND. - DashaWay- L
stood on the corner this morning Tor
five minutes, debating whether should
buy bunch of roses tor MISS fe r
or a necktie for myself, when lrayers
came along and said he had bought her
&c Cleverton-"So you got the necktie;T
Dashawav-"No, | had to lend i the
money to Travers. - C'ot"'er an" f"'-
nisher.