davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
The House Spider's Web.

The web of the house spider differs from
that of the garden variety in two points
its mesh is much finer, and it is composed
of one kind of silk only. The flies which
find their way into it are detained by the
ENHANCEMENT of their claws in the fine
meshes. The house spider, as a rule, makes
its snare in the corner of the room. It's
first operation is to press it's spinners
against the wall, thus securing the threads
in particular spot; then it goes to the
opposite side and fastens the other end of
the thread. This primary line is strength
ened by two or three others being run
along beside it, threads are drawn from it
in various directions, and the interstices
are filled by the SPIDERS running back
ward and forward, always leaving line
behind it. In one corner of the completed
web tube is made, in which the spider
conceals itself and waits for the appear
ance of unwary fiies.-Cornhill Magazine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
An Old English Hoax.

The bottle imp hoax was one of the most
gigantic of the many hoaXes and impost-
ures played on the English people during
the Eighteenth century. The Duke of
Montague, in the year 1749, laid wager
with another nobleman that if an impostor
advertising that he would jump into a
quart bottle should come along, all Lon
don society would flock to see the wonder.
In order to decide the bet the following ad
vertisement was put in all the papers:
'At the new theatre in the Haymarket
on Monday next, the 10th inst, is to be
seen a person who performs the several
most surprising tricks following, viz:
First, he takes common walking cane
from any Of the spectators, and thereon
plays the music of every instrument now
in use. Secondly, he presents you with a
common wine bottle (which any of the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
The Columbus Egg Story Improved.

One day when l was a boy at school the
class had for a reading lesson the story of
Columbus and the egg. In the class was a
little Irish boy about my own age, whose
name was Jerry Grady, and when school
was out at noon Jerry said to me:
did ye mind that sthory about Column
bus and the egg? Sure, that's not the way
the thrick was done at all, at all. Come
wild me, and Pll show We how Columbus
done it."
Jerry's mother kept hens, and when we
reached the house he had no trouble in
finding fresh egg.
First putting clean plate on the
table, Jerry took the egg and shook it vio-
lently for some seconds, or until the yolk
and the white were thoroughly mixed, like
a compound of milk and water. Then,
after holding the egg upright on the plate
until the mixture inside of it had settled
quietly into the broad base of it, he with
drew his hand and left the egg standing
upright and alone.
There" said he, 'that's the way Column
bus done it," and l have no doubt it was,
for / have often done it that way, and any
body else can do it.-Cor. New York Trib-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Crooks Councils of War.

Crooks councils of war differed from
those of any other general, living or dead.
He never asked any one for an opinion,
never gave one of his own, but, taking his
rifle in hand, strolled short distance away
from camp, sat down under rock, crossed
one knee over the other, clasped his arms
about his shins, and occasionally rubbed
the tip Of his nose with the back of his
right hand. This was the last infallible
sign by which the troops afterward learned
to know that one of Crooks councils of
war was in progress. He communed with
himself, canvassed all the pros and cons of
his redicament.-Century
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26

as close as ne could get to the big cook
stove, and steaming like Broadway man
hole with the cover off
Morgan" | said, II have given your ad-
mirers here an idea of why you refused to
accept anything from Mr.. Simpson. and
they have made up this little purse for
you, and we all hope you will accept it."
You heard me say didn't want to be
paid for what any square man who could
swim would do"
"Yes, we heard you; but listen TO me-"
and stepped close to him and whispered
Il know what you've got inside your shirt;
saw you pick it up. Shall tell the boys.
or will you take the purse?"
He put one hand over my mouth, and
jumping quickly to his feet said:
Friends, I'll take it, 1 still think you
overestimate what 1 did, but you mean
we'll and like you for it. If didn't have
to be continually travelling on account of
my health I'd stay here and be elected
mayor, so that could tear down that old
calaboose or turn it into a SOUP house
But, jokes aside, / want to ask one thing
of you, friends. Don't be too hard on the
tramp. They're not all like me; Pm one
from choice. But in the last two or three
years many good man has been forced on
TO the road. There's great big world out
side of your quiet little town, and there's a
good deal of hardship and misery in it.
Lots of poor devils are trying to get away
from it, and they keep walking and walk
ing. When a seedy looking stranger
strikes you for a lift don't be in a hurry
to refuse him. Find out if it wasn't want
of work that pulled him down, and his I'M
successful hunt for it that made him
seedy."
There was perfect quiet in the little res
taurant for moment, then some one pro-
posed three cheers for 'Reddy' Morgan y
which were heartily given, and all filed
out.
An hour later the Tom Jasper touched
at the old wharfboat, two hours behind
time. AS she steamed away down the river
one of her passengers was hero and the
first tramp printer I ever saw
/ never met him again, but do not think
shall ever forget him. While overhaul
ing some old papers today the grotesque
card of the Typographical Tourist" met
my gaze, and the events which have tried
to relate in the foregoing passed before my
mind as distinctly as if they had happened
only yesterday.-Jos. r. Buchanan in New
York Printers Annual.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
iNGRATlTUDE.

By the marge of a murmuriag stream,
On his face sadly lying,
saw Cupid crying,
And thought, He is deep In a dream"
But he raised his blue eyes up to mine,
And he showed me his wing wet,
His bow with its string wet,
And said, This is why l repfne.'
So straight with my kerchiet dried
His pinion bedraggled:
A vine, that had struggled
In reach, for bow string tried.
Then choosing his prettiest dart.
He smiled at me sweetly,
And fitting it neatly,
He wickedly shot at my heart.
And merrily laughing, the wight,
On strong pinion flying,
My poor heart left dying
For love, and loves deathless delight.
William Barclay Durham in Once q Week
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
A Fine Point,

The late Charles Spencer was pretty
quick quilted at times in seeing a point
for client. On one occasion in trial for
burglary he cross examined the policeman
who had been stationed inside of the house
to watch in anticipation of burglary, and
the policeman admitted that when he
heard the burglar fumbling with the lock
he quietly adjusted the door so that it
could be easily opened. Quick as a flash
Spencer shouted, 'Why, your honor, the
policeman is the real burglar, for he
opened the door" The result was that the
prisoner was convicted only of an attempt
at burglary.-San Francisco Argonaut.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
''REdDy" MORGAN,
MAY | keep this?" | asked.
TYPOGRAPHICAL TOuRisT,

hSCp Al4S' L dShSd
Yes, | reckon. It's the only one I've
got, but my printer has the plate, and I'll
order some more by telegraph"
The stranger had become quite serious
during the latter part of his speech. Civ
ing himself Il shake, he once more assumed
his careless air, and said:
Say, boss, will you print a painful for
me while go out to the telegraph office?"
knew the telegraph office always closed
at 7c'clock, bat didn't say so. To his
query | replied:
go out, if you wish: but don't stay long,
as there is great deal to do, and I hope
you'll help US out"
As the door closed behind him turned
to Abe, saying:
''Well, tell me about him. Where did
he come from, and how did you happen to
get him to work."
Shortly after you went away this after
noon he walked into the room and sang
out, Here l am! Which frame do I take?'
/ asked him who he was and what he want
ed. Pm Reddy Morgan he said, and I've
got three medals as champion print, Pc
destrian and faster. I want square, and
am willing to dis, print, pull the press
swing brayer or write an editorial to pay
for the fodder I knew then he was g
nrinter. and as we needed helm badly Gaul
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
His Fault,

Il understand" said Mr.. Johnson, of the
orthodox church. to Mr.. jackson, of the
Methodist church, "that you used to know
the new minister that's coming to our
church when you lived in York state"
81 did," said Mr.. Jackson.
'Is he good man?'
II think he is a very good man.
"Well, what are his faults? He must
have some fault"
''Since you press me, know of but one
grave fault in your new minister"
"What is that, please?"
"He doesn't know how to sing"
"Hum! Not very grave fault is it, not
to know how to sing?''
mo; but you see, he sings just the same
as if he did knOwp'-Youth's Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Enormous Strength of Spider Silk.

The strength of the spider silk is incred-
ible. Size for size it is considerably tough
er than bar of steel. An ordinary spiders
thread is capable of bearing a weight of
three grains, while a steel thread of the
same thickness would support less than
two. A bar of steel one inch in diameter
will bear weight of fifty tons, but it is
calculated that if a spiders thread of the
same size could exist, it would be capable
of supporting weight of seventy-four
tons-that is to say, it's strength would be
half as great again as that of steel, or near
ly three times that of wrought iron.-Corn
hill MAGAZINE
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
1t Is Easy to Do Good.

Are you ambitious to do good? Do not
wait for great opportunities. They never
come to the one who neglects to grasp the
little chances. A banana peeling removed
from the sidewalk, a basket carried for a
weary woman, a nod and smile to a lonely
child at the window pane, a note written
to one who seldom receives letter-these
are worth doing, and are your education
toward the improvement Of possible great
OPPORTUNITIES West Shore
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
The Patient Nav Have Died.

There are on record some very amusing
blunders of the medical fraternity. 1t is
related that during a land speculation in
Chicago a certain old doctor became so in
terested that he was somewhat absent
minded toward his patients. He omitted
the directions from prescription, and
when reminded of his omission replied:
Take q quarter down; balance in one
two and three years." and ran out to meet
an engagement with land OPERATOR
Providence Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Why Fish Fatten Easier Than Beef.

One principle at the bottom of the fact
that water farming makes bigger gains
than land farming is that whereas pound
of beef must carry its own weight, as it
were, the animal wasting most of what it
eats in the muscular effort of walking
about, the fish is suspended without effort
in his native element, having merely to
waggle it's fins occasionally in order to
achieve what locomotion is necessary, so
that nearly all of it's food goes to support
and increase the bulk of its body at so
much per sixteen ounces market price
Washington Star
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
A Biz One.

An octopus which had been in fight
with some other monster once drifted
ashore on the Malay peninsula. He had
feelers, or arms, which were from twelve
to seventeen feet long, and weighed alto
gether $50 pounds. 1t was calculated that
he was big enough and strong enough to
drag a two-ton fishing boat under the sur
face by main strength.-Detroit Free Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Abundant Evidence.

Editor-Have you any letters or other
testimonials to show that you are liter
airy worker by profession?
APPLICABILITY you will look at my pants,
sir, you will find that they bag badly at
the knees; and if you will pardon me for
turning around, you will see that they are
worn very shiny at the rear. Yes, sir, /
am a literary man.-Good News.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
The Chatelaine Bouquet.

The chatelaine bouquet is quite the
rage. It is long stemmed and is sus-
pended from the waist by a chatelaine
of handsome ribbon, and usually consists
of roses and foliage or carnations and
lilies of the valley. The chatelaine
bouquet is, however, appropriate only
with bridal Or dancing toilets.-Louis-
vile Courier Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Her Saving Disposition.

my wife has saving disposition" said
Hicks. "When we got our upright piano
she made red plush cover for it, so that
the rosewood wouldn't get scratched.
Then she covered that with sort of linen
buster arrangement, so Is to save the plush.
I tell you women have great big mindsp'-
Harper's Bazaar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
A Problem In Addition.

Miss Ambrosia Passee (gigglingly)-Do
you know reached my birthday today
Well, now, how old do you think / amp
Mr.. Dillidally (gallantlye Seventeen and
a bit.
Mr.. Sillibilly-About twenty-three.
Miss A Passee-And Mr.. Haysede, what
do you think?
Mr.. Haysede-Wal, takin' it all t'gether
l guess the gentlemen is right.-Jewelers'
Circular
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
followed the Crease.

Cleverton-For heavens sake, old man,
what are you doing in this part of the town?
Dashaway-When | started for the office
this morning / didn't notice that the
blamed tailor had creased my trousers
wrong, and I've walked four miles out of
my wav.-CIothier and Furnisher
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Shakespeare i'm Germany.

By far the most popular plays of Shake
speare in Germany are ''Othello" and
Hamlet" next to which comes 'fThe
Merchist of Venice" During the last
few years they have been performed s37
times, SIC times and Cos times respectively.
During the same period there was only one
performance in Germany of ''The Merry
Wives of Windsor" and one also of "AlPs
Well That Ends Well. london Truth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Zoo Eonfd1mSc

care your coats padded?" asked Ange-
lima, as her head reposed gracefully On
Williams manly breast.
mo. Why do you ask" he inquired
fondly.
Because they are so much softer than.
Martins coats, or Johns either, for that
matter"
The engagement is broken.-Exchange
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Bright Prospects.

Mr.. Bullion-''I notice, sir, that you call
to see my daughter quite frequently, and
as she-er-appears to be favoraDly i'm
pressed by you, think have right to
inquire concerning your prospects.
Young Mani shall be rich some day"
Il am glad to hear that"
Yes. Your daughter and | have been
secretly married, and she has promised me
Laf YOU leave New York Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Electricity in Agriculture.

1t has long been a problem how to apply
electricity to the growth of plants. Use of
the electric force for such a purpose is still
in the experimental stage, but enough has
already been done to show that there are
possibilities in the case.
In one series of experiments the seeds of
beans, sunfowers and winter and spring
rye were used. The seeds were soaked,
electrified and Immediately sown. The
plants were more fully developed, their
leaves were larger and their color brighter
than those grown from non electrified seed,
but the yield was not affected.
In another series of experiments plates
of copper and zinc about two feet by two
feet six inches were buried at the end of
the plots and connected by their upper
faces, the effect being to establish current
through the earth The result was larger
crop, and vegetables of enormous size.
In the third series electrical collectors
were mounted on insulated rods and con-
nected by wires, the effect being to obtain
a highly electrified atmosphere. Seeds of
rye, corn, oats, barley, peas clover. pota-
toes and fax were used. This form of ap-
plication increased the yield of seed an
average of one-half, and that of straw one
third, while the ripening was more rapid.
1t was also found that potatoes grown by
this treatment were rarely diseased, and as
the beneficial effects of electricity on vines
attacked by phylloxera have already been
observed it Is possible that means have
been found of combating the microscopic
pests which attack vegetable growth
Ironmonger.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
The Unadorned Facts,

''Now tell US the naked TRUTH said Mr..
Fosdick to his young son, who was under
examination for boyish escapade.
"Yes," added Mrs. Fosdick, who was
graduate of Vassar, 1--WE want only the un-
clothed veracity. Judge
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26

In England celery is much used as a
last course at dinner, dipped in grated
cheese-that is, the cheese is passed with
1t and the celery dipped as 1t Is eaten.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26

The nationality of a man who rises in
London public vehicle to give his place to
:. woman is at once suspected. The male
European mind reduces the question TO d
practical bus ness basis. paid my fare,
/ secured my aat: if she found no seat it is
her misfortune, not my fault. Let her
complain to the company.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26

The Providant Institution for Savings
Of Boston has the oldest charter of any
savings bank il the country, dating from
1915. It is the largest in New England,
having a total of s32. 900, 900 in deposits. 1t
had s116,51759 of unclaimed deposits in
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26

SPECTATORS may ursI exanfmeE ne Inen
places this bottle on table in the middle
of the stage, and he without any equivo-
cation goes into it in sight of all the spec
tators. While in the bottle he will sing all
the popular songs of the day. During his
Stay in the bottle any person may handle
it and see that it does not exceed com
mon tavern bottle in size"
This advertisement excited the curiosity
of the people, and On the evening men
toned a prodigious number of people gath
cred in and around the Haymarket. Roy
atty went in disguise and beggars in their
every day clothes. Not more than half the
crowd, the account says, could find seats in
the great building. Finally the supposed
conjuror appeared On the stage The ma
Jority of those present confidently expected
to see him soon in the odd shaped bottle
sitting on the table. Not until he brazenly
told them that if they woald pay double
fare ne would go into pint bottle instead
of quart did it dawn upon them that
they had been sold. A general row en-
sued, during which masks were removed
by force and many aristocratic features ex-
posed.-American Notes and Queries
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
TRUE LOVE CONQUERS.
kcoURTSHiP EPISODE OF THE GOLD
FEVER OF 1856.

Trying Experience of Beautiful PhiIa-
de1phia Girl-Her Devoted Lover Goes
West to Seek His Fortune-He Is Sue
cessful-Their Letters Interrupted.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1891-03-07
AN ARAB IVORY RAID.
A Cruel Attack of ono Tribe Upon An.
other In the Wilds of Africa.


other In the Wilds of Africa.
Soon after nppo Tbs occupation OF
Stanley Falls in 1879 rumors reached
labuh and the neighhoring villages OF
oppression and persecution by the Many.
ema Chiefs met together to inquire OF
each other the reason Of this invasion,
Less than three years after Stanley's
fight with the Basoko nc the mouth of
the Aruwimi, the Manyema mercenaries
of the Arabs attacked and destroyed sew.
eral villages higher up the same river,
having travelled overland from the Congo
through the dense forests below Stanley
Falls; and descending the Aruwimi river
in canoes they laid waste all the villages
by the way, capturing men and women,
and imposing fines Of ivory for their re-
demphon upon those of the natives who
were fortunate enough to escape to the
woods.
Although every precaution was taken
by the people of Nabuli 10 guard against
surprise, they iustinctively felt impend-
ing evil and a gloom settled over the
village affecting young and old alike.
They all appeared 20 realize their iso-
lated position, escape being impossible
as their neighbors were at enmity with
them and with each other, and the poor
wretches lived in a condition of fear
bordering upon panic.
At last the evil day arrived. Early
one morning, just before daybreak, they
were suddenly startled by the loud re-
ports Of the Manyema guns. The forest
around the village appeared alive with
armed men, who rushed among their
dwellings from all sides, firing reckless
ly, sometimes in the air, into the doors
Of the huts, and at the panic stricken
savages, who rushed toward the woods
for shelter, A few of the Drawer natives
stood their ground and hurled spears
and knives at their asSailants, but one
by one they dropped, shot by their bru-
tai enemy.
After firing their muzzle loading mus
ketS many of the Manyema rushed upon
the natives and dubbed them with the
butt end of their guns The women en-
numbered with their children, whom
they We're bravely trying to carry off to
the shelter of the woods, were soon over
taken by the Manyema, who roughly
threw them to the ground and bound
their arms and legs Nearly two-thirds
of the women and children were capt.
ured, including the favorite wife or
Ioko; but many of the men and few
women managed to escape to the woods.
Herbert Ward in Scribner's
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1891-03-07
Was Once the Queens.

Missing-a literary treasure supposed
to have been once in the possession of her
majesty the queen. The precious relic
referred to is copy of the original edi-
ton of "a Christmas Carol. presented by
Dickens to the author of Vanity Fair, +"
with the interesting autograph inscrip-
ton, "W. NJ. Thackeray, from Charles
Dickens (whom he made very happy
once long way from home).". The
story runs that the queen possessed a
strong desire to own the little volume
in which the names of these two great
contemporary masters of fiction were
thus associated; that an unlimited com
mission was given for its purchase, and
that it eventually Lecame her maiesty's
property for the sum of e25 los, and
was Immediately transferred to her keep
ing.
The original authority for the state.
ment appears to have been the late Mr..
Hotten, the publisher; but it is more
to note that Dickens biog-
rapher, Mr.. John Forster, has given it
additional currency. The strange part
Of the matter, however, is that the royal
Librarian knows nothing about it, except
that no such book is included in the col
lection under his care.--London News.