The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-01-31
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

--Tom-"Get an invitation TO Char1iet
wedding?" Jack (gleefully)--''No Did
you?" Tom (sadly)-"Yes. Lend me q
tenner er"-YanlSee Blade.
-Teacher-"You say there are siS
senses? Why, I have only five" Scholar
81 know II, sir The sixth one is com
mon sense."-Detroit Free Press.
Timely Advice. .-He-'I feel com.
pIetely FRUSTRATED. / wish were dead"
She-"Well, why don't you let me send
for doctor?"--Brooklyn Life.
Artillery Lieutenant lin the way OF
compliment)-"Ah, my dear young
lady but your loolls-your glances 90
right home. Every ones bulls eye"
-F'liegende Blaetter.
--Watts--"Wonder why they always
call locomotive she?'" Potts-"May
be it is on account of the horrible noise
it makes when it tries TO whistle. In
dianapolis journal.
Are there still active volcanoes in
existence?" said the pupil. 30, yes,
indeed replied the Professor absently.
''By the way, are You acquainted with
my wife?'-St. Joseph News.
Professor Patterby--"Dcfine the diff
ference between wit and humor, Mr..
Fresh" Jack Fresh-"Wit is written
by the paragraph and humor by the
column"
Yes, I once failed for a hundred
thousand" remarked the red-headed
man who hadn't treated yet. you see,
the girl was worth that in her own right
and refused me. me.'-Philadelphi Times.
Accounted For.--"There was a
guard on the l. road this morning who
pronounced the names of the stations as
clearly as Booth could" ~ know the
man you mean. He is Russian. N.
y. Sun.
Can women be the heads of busi-
ness firms in this country" ''Yes, but
there's one position they never assume
if married" THE senior member?'
"No. the silent partner. Philadelphia
Times.
She - Edward, the minister has
asked me TO sing at the concert for the
church fund, and l." lie eagerly
10, go by all means. I never did have
much love for that parson or his congre-
cation cither."-Demorest' Monthly.
-Simpson-''Whatever induced your
uncle to marry the widow of man who
was hung?" Jimpson-'He had been
married to widows before, and says he
was tired of having the virtues of former
husbands constantly flung in his face"
Epoch.
In Russia.-O -Official-"You can not
stay in this country, sir" Traveller
"Then I'll leave it." Ofiicial-"ITave
you permit to leave?" Traveler-"No.
sir" Official-"Then you can not go.
leave you twenty-four hours to make up
your mind as to what you shall do. IN.
V sun.
-Teacher-''1 don't see why you
can't understand this rule in arithme-
tic, Johnny. II didn't take me five min
utes to understand it when it was first
explained to me-" Johnny-"Perh
your teacher explained it to you better"
West Shore.
"A stylishly dressed young lady was
walking down back street in a country
town the other day, her chatelaine
creating such an abominable din that
she attracted the notice of two loafers.
"Say. Bill" said one, ''wot's that ere
thing?" Dunno said the other but
| should think hers dealer in scrap
iron. .''-Demorest's Monthly.
Grammatical Item" Mishter Sill
verstein," said Nose Schumburg to his
clerk. "chump up on dose ladders and
hand me down dose schentlemanly un-
dervear.' at vas not correct to say
dose ladders replied the clerk, who
prides himself on his knowledge Of
grammar. II know dot better den you,
Mr.. Silverstein; and ven | say dose lad
ders,' you may be sure l have some par.
ticular reason Wy l say dose ladders. -
Texas SiftinpS