River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-06-04
plTH AND POINT.


One may ruin a score of his fellows
ruin himself and there's nothing too
harsh that may be said of him.
Transcript
-Grimshaw-"I'd like to sell that
engagement ring l bought some time
ago." Why, is the
match Off" Grimshaw-"Oh, no; but
we've married. "-Galveston News.
1t Was Good. fish dot Limberger
not goot?" asked dealer of man who
looked at it from little distance
''Goodw he replied; ''why it's unap-
acknowledgements Monthly.
-Offanon-"And is Miss Oracle to
have two chaperons? What is that for?''
Old Peterby-"That's on your account
When you come they are to chaperon
by watches, three hours off and three
on. IN. Y. Herald.
Bank President-"Didy You say, Mr.
Bullion, that the young man you rec
commended is subject to fits of abstrac-
ton" Mr.. Bullion-"Yes, occasional
ly." Bank President-"Then he will
not suit us as cashier"
-Sharpson (grinding out verse)-"I
want a suitable rhyme for chains.
Phiatz - whats the matter with
.brains?'" Cant use it. I'm writing
a poem entitled The Cigarette Smob-
err sporting World.
You may talk of the depth and
power of love all you please, but there
has been as yet no instance recorded of
lapse of time between his proposal and
his loved ones answer.
First Stude told me You
had rare and curious manuscript to
show me. / see nothing here but re-
ceipted tailor's bill" Second Student
And you see nothing rare or curious
about it"'-Fliegende Batter.
"A Swell AffaIr.-Orator lat the
banquet of the Patriotic Society
occasion. My heart swells tonight"
Listener-"And your head will in the
morning. Saturday Evening Herald.
Family Honor in Danger Wildly.
-'Iiow are your poems selling, Bill
by?" Billby, The Poet-"The first
edition was exhausted on the first day.
My uncle bought the whole of it."
Wildly ITO save the family honor,
suppose. Yankee Blade.
~ see, George" said the roommate
to whom he had been confiding. "She
isn't pretty, but with all her faults you
love her STILL" NO" said George,
sit amt still, it's brewery that her
father owns, and it makes a mint of
money. Washington Post.
His Exercise. Knox-"I am
glad to see that you have joined our
athletic club" Howell Gibbon.-''Ah,
ya-as; the doctah recommended eXer-
else, We know; and as | heard that walk
ing was good, just walk down evewy
mawning, and wead the papLhsp'-Puck.
That" said the performer, as he
wheeled around on the piano-stool, lis
posthumous composition. 1t is quite
probable that the composer never heard
II performed. What do you think of it?''
81 think it shows remarkable good
taste on the composers part. Wash
ington Post.
Pretty Far Gone.-"What a happy
Sapper has! He never has
any money of his own, for he is always
trying to borrow, yet you'd think he
hadn't care in the world" Il sup
pose il is because his credit is so poor
that he can not even borrow trouble"
boston Herald.
New Reporter-"That item about
Col. Bour bon being murdered, that we
printed this morning, amt true. He's
alive and we'll" Editor-"And what
do you mean by coming here and tell
ing me? The Howler has a character
for veracity that must be maintained.
Go right off and kill him. "-Philadel-
phia Times.
A Successful Authoress. Returned
Tourist-"By the way, Mrs. De Beauti,
have not seen your charming daugh-
ter since my return. When | left she
had determined to submit her first
novel to the leighton Magazine. Has
she been successful in her literary as
pirations?" Mrs De Beauti-"Perfect-
". She married the editor. Demo
rests Monthly.
Feminine Generalship. De
Fashion (breathlessly)-"O mother!
1t won't do to wait three weeks before
having my party. We must send out
the invitations at once, and have it this
week" Mrs. De Observation-Disclosures
me! What's the hurry?" Miss De Fash
ion-"That odious Miss De Pretty,
whom Mr.. Richfellow so much admires,
has a boil on her nose. "-Demorest's
Monthly.
- am sorry, Henry" said Uncle
George, that you exhibit so little pro-
ficiency in photography. That letter
you wrote to Mr.. Brown the other day
had so many mis-spelled words that it
set the whole counting-room in roar"
Him. said Henry. THAT just the
way in this world. There were a good
many words in that letter that know
were spelled right, but of course / get
no credit for that "