davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1891-05-22
Thai fbb4tKKee Is 4tKe wa SMagdn 9t t5ff ff fnafee nafeesttRq2 sttRq2

- -.GWn 10 inc wagon loE lldl pul-
pose. The man was tall, thin,
sickly-looking person whose surround
ings proclaimed him victim of ex-
treme poverty. was touched by his
appearance, and as gently as | could,
| informed him of the necessity of
Immediately vacating the spot. As ]
spoke his pale, sharp features lighted
up with the fire of Indignation, and in
reply he said:
dive made my last move, unless
Tm driven by force I've been run
about from place to place by the cat
tlemen till I've got nothing left, and
I'm tired of it. This land is open for
settlement and ! have right to a
claim here, and propose to have il. !"
"But you can't hold it," ! reasone |.
"They'H burn your wngon and kill
your horses"
"Just let them try it," he replied,
laying his hand on pistol which hung
at his side. "Tve got this left, and
I'm desperate enough to use it. Some
of them wouldn't burn any more
wagons"
reasoned with the man as best |
could, but he refused TO move on, and
at last l turned away from him hoping
his presence might not be noticed that
evening by any Of our people, and
that by the following morning he
might sec the wisdom of moving on.
had only gone short distance
when | met little boy running across
the prairie, and as he stopped to adj
mire my gaudy "cowboy" attire and
trappings, ! spoke TO him and askel
his name. '''
"l'm Johnnie Merrill, he answered.
"Me'n my pa just came down here to-
day, an my pa he's gone to look at
the cattle an Pm goin' down there to
that wagon. My pa he owas this
ranch, you know, an lie let me come
down here with him this time"
Il had not gone far, after leaving
the boy, when | met a man cantering
alouq an hOrsnbocL onJ oS ia ,,yoe a
stranger, and well dressed, rightly
judged that he was Mr.. Merrill Just
as we met lie happened to notice the
old wagon, and refining in his horse,
he said:
"What is that over there by the
timber?'
"A home-soeker," replied.
"Oh, a squatter, eli? Well, go over
and tell him to move on,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1891-05-22

1NO Arr. N.

!, 100 Acres; more OF less.
: unnic not known, helng the sam land Is
OF A. G.. Chtpnlln by said J nps =
at Making N all iJji acres.
an a Of sad Hand IS situated 3ul el
district Of Chari,a county.
-, lwo Cows, two iIeifer3, oae
+. of Oxen ami one Ox-car;.
And hereby give nous9 t',at ! vii
for sac AT The Court lioase Io1r, nj
ms Tobacco, on Tuesday the
in 1914 dV If my 1897,
eF between the hours Of and oclacIs
an lte said property so seized an .akea8
qution 10y puOlie auction 10 the highest
for cash.
JAMES A. ADAMS,
ap 24-ts Slg
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"Thc reason why we shall have to
raise the price of coal" explained Baron
Anthracite to the humble vassul who
had venturcdtomakc an inquiry about it,
''is that an immense amount of cOal will
be required when it becomes necessary
to move the enormous crops this year"
But suppose dry weather and early
frostS kill the crops" suggested tho
humble vusSal. "Nhat them"
''In that case" rejoined the baron, u
look of pain stealing oyer bis noble
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Some years ago a wealthy manu-
facturcr in the west employing nearly Il
thousand hands established a 'modcl"
city, thus giving the workmen and their
families many comforts and luXurics
that they could not have attained IN
aided. OF course there were rcgula-
tions to govern the model city, which,
us u rule, were chccrfully observed.
There were fa~ult-findcrS, however,
and especially a wco named
Bascomb. Among the rules was II
forbidding the burning of soft coal, on
account of the odnr and smoke, and
Iiascomb objected strongly.
My goodness demonstrated Il friend,
81 don't see what % are growing
about. We get hard coal at cost, and
as one ton goes as far as two of the
other, you amt out of pocket"
"'Tain't right to forbid it," asserted
BaScomb.
Sec here" demanded his friend,
edo you really want to burn the nasty
stuff
mo. | don't wantrr," replied Bas-
comb. but | wantrr have the right in
ease | wantrr!,'
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
lilo WINS a mandy.

A Scotch divine oncc took into the
n3lpit u sermon without observing that
tse first leaf or two were so worn and
eaten away that he could not dcciphcr
or the text.
My brethren" said he, II find that
the mice have made free with the be-
ginning of my sermon, SO that ! cannot
tell you where the text is; but Wen just
begin where the mice have left of, and
We'll find out the text Us we go along
i-Tnry
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

a stranger on the platform of a New
York elevated road was leaning out,
looking for an approaching train, when
the man who turns the crank of the
ticket box called out:
'~'IIello, there! You'll tumble down
into the street, and hen there will be
another Internal fuss in the papers
about it."-TeXaS SiftinrS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Slightly Mixed.

Mr.. o'Flahcrty undertook to TIL how
many there were ut q party as follows:
The two CroTans was one, mHself
was two, Mike Finn wa three. and who
the deuce was four? Let II see count
ing his fingcrsl the two Crogans was
one, Mike Finn was two, neself IA
three, and bedad, there was four of us,
but Saint Patrick couldn't tell the name
of the other. Now, it's mcsclf that has
it! Mike Finn was one, the two Gro
gans was two, mcself was three, and
and, by me faith, think there vas but
three of us after all."-Jury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Knew what Was Expected.

The seaside hotel clerk was looking
through his books to make out the bill
of the departing guest, when the latter
laid his wallet on the counter and asked
the clerk whether he wanted any
more.
"Wait until I've made out the bill,
please" saidt the clerk haughtily.
''Ol, that's all right" said the guest
reassuringIy. 81 used to W a sum
mer resort hotel myself."-N. Y. Re-
corder,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

I'm afraid, uncle" said one of the
clerks in Il real estate office to the jan
itor of the building, that You have
been dallying with poultry again. l
see your name in the police court record
to-day"
"Ycsser; but it's my kyind hearted
ness. Did We 'sposc | WIS Gwinc to see
dem chickens cooped up dis kim oh we'd
dab an not len EN- er hclpin' han'?"-
Washington Post.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Mechanical Item.

Gentleman-Why, my little boy, you
ought to be at school; you are too small
to work.
Boy have to work to support my
mother, sir.
why, is your father dead?"
"No, sir; he's an inventor. "-TeXas
Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

an amateur theatrical performance
representing some scenes from Richard
III, was given at the residence of Judge
Peterby. The performers were not very
Wen drilled, and Gus De Smith, instead
OF taking u position in the middle of
the stage, stood off to one side. The
effectiveness of the scene was some
what married by the stage manager say
ing in u hoarse but audible whisper:
You, Gus De Smith, get away from
There! Surround his majesty! Can't
You remember, you Anticipated ass,
that you are the duke of Buckingham?"
Texas Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A DIALOGUE Abroad.

De Gush lin the doorway of an
Italian cathedraD-We have nothing
like this in America, S%mithkins. | love
these deep arched doorways; they sug-
gest quiet, "contentment and-er-re-
pose, you know.
Smithkins-Yes; | like them first
rate. Capital places in which to light
a cigar unsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Why They ApDIaud.

Criticus-I see that Mr.. Mansforde
advertises that ''incessant applause"
greets his new play.
Man About Town-Yes, the audience
is afraid that if it let's up u bit they'll
hear some of the lines.-N. Y. Tele-
gram.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Half of 1t.

"What hymn did ! understand you to
say?" inquired the Sunday-school teach
err of the young lady who presided at
the melodeon, and who had just asked
him to close the service, the superinten-
lent being absent.
'Sing half of 24G," she answered,
smiling at his and confus-
ion.
1--WE will nov close by singing" he
said, addressing the s~chool-''by sing
ing hymn 23.'-Harper's Bazaar.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Dashaway-See here. uncle; I gave
You a dollar the other day on the plea
that one of your children was dead. and
l saw the little imp yesterday as lively
as n cricket.
Uncle Jasper-Tes, sab; dat chile is
dc mos disappointin' chile you cher see.
Judge,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Attemnted

Nose Schaumberg met Gilhooly and
Indignantly said to him:
81 sold you dose pants more den a
year ago, aud dey wash all worm out,
and you have not paid me six tollars
dose pants for yet"
"NYell, if hat amt gall! Here you
want me to pay you six dollars for n pair
of old, WORKOUT pants. I'll have you in
dicted for ~swindling. My brothcr-in-
law is foreman of the grand jury" re-
piled Gilhooly, indignantly. - Texas
Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Professional Opinion.

c., the artist, was showing his
neighbor, a nursery gardener, around
his studio:
''How do you like this picture of
Adam and Eve in Paradise"
very pretty, but"
"Well, what?"
lyon have placed in Ewes hand a
variety of apple which has only been
produced during the last twenty years"
-Inrv
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

what 4 red face Col. Yerger has
got"
Eyes, his face is red, but that is its
natural color; eve when he is as pale
as a ghost his face is the color of GRIM
son. You ought to see him when he is
excited and gets red in the face. Then
he turns purple and blue."-Texas Sift-
ings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"a woman can never keep anything to
herself" said Danboy to his wife, who
had been repeating something he didn't
want known.
"Oh, yes she can" said Mrs. Danboy
sweetly.
sd like to know what it ISL" he
growled.
'It's her real and private opinion of
her husband Detroit Free Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Gus Snobberly, VIII" lis Il poverty
stricken youth, applied to old Mr.. Bond
clipper for the hand of his daughter
Lucy, who was in the Dom at the time.
"What are your rcSourceS"' asked old
Bondclipper.
Sin the first place, I've sent my appli-
cation to President Harrison for a posi-
ton in one of the departments"
"liave you any resources" asked the
prospective fathcr-in-law.
"Iou bet | have. I'm seriously think
ing about giving mp smoking
"la," exclaimed the young lady,
''that's enough for us to begin with,
isn't it?"-TcXas SiftingS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
y Lame ~i'Ncusc.

Principal-But, Mr.. Dodrcr, how is it
that you have added three days to your
summers holiday without permission?
Bookkcepcr i was unfortunately
showed up in the Rockies. | sent you
word to that effect by Il post card.
Principal-Eyactly, out You might
have come the same way Us the post
card.-Jury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
lPapa's birthday.

Papa's birthday and George Washing
tons birthday came the same day.
"We will have no school Tomorrow
said the teacher; "can anyone tell me
why?"
because it's papa's birthday" an
swered Mildred.-IIarper's Young Peo-
pie.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
An Ultra-FasbIonable Man.

fPrimus-Has Wormley found u board
tg house yet?
Secundus-No, he won't have any but
a fashionable one.
DEMONSTRATIONS, ell?
Secundus-Yes. He says it must be
on q street where there are no boarding
houses.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
His Little Dodge.

Cutely-Herc comes C~ynicus! See
me get a cigar from him! lights a
cigarette.)
Cynicus las Cutely puffs the smoke in
his facc)-Whew! How can You smoke
those things? Here, take a cigar and
throw that awaV.-puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

De Broker-Why is it that the stock
market is so f~earfullv dull?
De Curbb--Um--I believe N 1t of the
bank officials, city treasurer and conf
dental clerks, who have been speculat-
ing in stocks, are locked up.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"Well, this is act first" said the sum-
mel youth as he put his arm around her
and drew her tendcrly to him.
"And it is also scene first" replied the
summer girl as she pointed to her
frowning chaperon standing not ten
feet away.-Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
nuSuIl Luck.

Gus DeSmith-I see by the papers
that the ear has been enjoying the
pleasure of the chase in the Jabonski
forest, near Warsaw.
GillloOly-What luck did he have?
Gus Observation-Disclosures. He came
back alivc.-Tcxas Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"You are accused of snatching IA hand
full of small chang" from the till of u
grocery store on Third avenue" said
Justice Duffy to Il colnred prisoner.
'Ycs, yer honor, | knows ! did; but
when Il man am hungry, and haint had
muffin ter eat fer more den two days,
he am desperit an cray, and he doan
keer what he does"
but it appears ut the time you stole
a handful of change You had Il five dol
lar bill in your pocket
Dat am SO, but | did not want ter
bust a five dollar bill. AS soon as you
busts "a five dollar bill hit melts right
away."-TeXaS SiftingS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Jinks-IIow's this! Why are you not
willing to subscribe something toward
a monument to Columbus, the d~iscoverer
of America?
Winks Suffering from rheumatism,
sore throat, catarrh, bronchitis, and Il
touch of the grip)-Because if he hadn't
discovered America | wouldn't have
been BORN in this cursed climate.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mrs. Bilkins-I never saw such n for
getful man in my life as you are. The
clock has stopped again.
Mr.. Bilkins-That's because you for
got to wind it.
Mrs. Bilkins-IIuh. You know very
well, Mr.. Bilkins, that told you to re-
mind me to wind it and you forgot
about tn. y. Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
At the Cpncicrmc's.

$50, then, it is true that our landlord
has zone wrong in his head, Madame
Pipclet?."
YES, Madame Chuputard; we tool
him yesterday to IA %lunatic asylum at
Clarendon"
"Would You believe, How did you
find out that he was made"
"Oh! there was ne possible doubt
whatever; he reduced the rent of all the
dodgers. lie Figaro.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
MatriIn Onlal Item.

Cynical Old Bachelor-What makes
you grin like an idiot?
Young Happicuss-O, ! am the hap
piest of mortals! Tomorrow / get
married.
Cynical-Ies, | suppose you are the
happiest nan in town to-day.-Texas
Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
NJ METEOROLOGICAL Item.

Grandpa am surprised that it did
not rain last night, as my corns ached
like mischief.
Tommy-But, grandpa, you can't ex-
pect that the weather will be always
regulating itself by your corns.-Texas
Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

lIusband-You are surely not going
out shopping Il the rain? You'll be
sick.
Wife (tirmly)-I lever allow the
weather To interfere with my shopping.
Husband-Thcn You are letting your
buy-laws Interfere with your conStitu-
tion.-Pittsburgh Bulletin.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Theatrical NomenoIature.

Howard de Montmorency (the TRACED
ian)-That old gentleman over there is
my father.
Clarence Duval (the comedian)-In-
deed! What is his name?
Howard de Montmorency Patrick
Brannigan.-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Sol wholly Without r.xcuse

DE Haas-Under the circumstances I
don't know that it was exactly the right
thing for me to make n speech; but still
] don't think my conduct was unpreced-
ented.
Balaclx-That precedent was estab-
lished in the time of Balaam.-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Littlcton looming out of the rcStau-
rant)-By Jovc, ! am glad we are rid of
that waiter. Ills air was 50 lofty that |
actually felt small.
Coke-Indccd. And So
Littleton-And SO | acted small. |
didn't give him one cent.-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Realism In Art,

Long, know an artist who painted
a runaway horse. 1t was So natural
that the beholders jumped out of the
way.
Downing-Humph! My friend Mr..
Clip painted u portrait Of Il lady that
was SO natural hat he had to sue her
for his bill.-Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
She Wny Hiuht.

jennie hear that you are going to
become q lecturer.
Minnie-The idea! / am engaged to
be married.
"NNell, | knew it was something of
the sort" returned Jennic.-Jury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Devoted to Business.

II understand, Popson, that Noodles
kicked you yesterday and you didn't re-
sent it."
First time l heard Of it. l was so
busy yesterday l didn't pay much at
tention to outside matters. Fact is, q
~nan can't help what's going on behind
Is back any more than what's said
there. Detroit Free Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Tompkins - What do You think of
Charley Talkington?
Miss De SMITH rather admire him.
He is quite n young Samson.
Tompkins-Perhaps you are right.
Samson, you know, was the man who
slew his enemies with the jawbone of
an ass.-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Abby (who is thirstyl-ll"w long will
we have to wait for dinner?
Hiram twho lacks dcci,iom-About
twenty minutes, | guess. Then I'll
have IA bottle of plain soda, and have it
opened here.
Shc-I should like to hear some thing
pop, if it's only II cork!-Lifc.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Grief.

Rounds-I've see people laugh till
they cried; but | never knew of 4 fellow
crying till he laughed.
Nephews-Guess you never lost n rich
uncle!-puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Uncle Josh-What's that thing?
City Nephew-That's a s%prinkling
cart.
Uncle Josh-It don't seem to be
sprinklin' much.
City Nephew-Wait till it gets to a
crossing.-GOod News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Often Funny.

Caller-Want any jokes?
Editor Comic Weekly-If they are
good ones.
Well, I've got some of the funniest
things you w read"
"What are they?"
"Verdicts Of coroners' iuries. Good
News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

$50 this is your grandson, eh, Ras-
tus?"
"Yassir. Hes n fine boy, too. Leads
his classes at school"
Indeed. Come here, boy. Suppose
You had two dozen watcrmelons, and
another boy took five of them, how
many would there be Left"
81 gueth ef | done git u holt o two
dozen watermillions. they amt no boy
dis yere airth 'uld git five of en-"
replied the youngstcr.-Harper's Bazaar.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Client-Your fee is cXorbitant. 1t
didn't take You Il day to do the work.
L~awycr-lt is my regular Zee. | am
not charging you for time, but for the
cost of my legal education.
Clicnt-Nrll give me Il receipt for
the cost OF your education, 50 the next
fellow won't have to pay for it. too
Iifn
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

She-You know, Dick, that papa is
not nearly as rich as he is reported to be.
He-Oh, well, he is likely to make q
fortune before he dics.s | shall have to
take my chances like all the rest of the
fellows, ] suppOse.-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Fashionable Applicant Ito fair Del
sartiun)-lcs, my husband heard you
lecture on How to Walk Gracefully"
and he wanted me to join YOU class.
Miss Henrietta TusScll-I'n always
pleased when men realize the impor-
lance of my mission.
Applicant-Gcs. my husband said by
n. Y. Truth.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

First Young BarriStcr.Allow me to
congratulate you. / saw you this morn
ing h%urrying along to the assize courts
with a brief bag in your hand. So your
first client has come?
Second Ditto with IL look of satisfac-
tion)-Yes: my tailor has taken out a
summons against me.-Mondo Umoris-
ticO.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Frenchman-Your society is so differ
ent from Eat of France. You hat no
political salons in zis country.
American-No political saloons!
That's where you're entirely mistaken.
Why, every one of the aldermen keeps
one.-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A euro for Vanity.

Jinkers-That man is the most insult
ferable lump of conccit that ever trod
the earth. | wish he could be elected
president of the United States.
Winkers-You do? Why?
Jinkers-The newspapers would make
him sick of himself.-N. Y. Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Starting Early in Life.

"Where is Johnny Tivington?" in
quired the Sunday-school teacher, look
ing up from the Bible hat she was
reading.
Gle went out between the Acts,'' re-
piled little Sammy Brown.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Her View Was Reasonable

"What is an old sea dog?" asked Mrs.
Gummcy of her husband.
''Ihe term is applied to 4 mariner
Gummey.
81 thought perhaps Il sea dog was an
ocean greyhound."-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

She-Ies, I'm very fond of pets.
lIc-Indccd! What, may | ask, is
your favorite animal?
She fraukly) - Man. - Munsey's
Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Two Things at Once.

Small Boy-Sis says you have the ad-
vantage over her. You can eat and
talk at the same time.
Young Man-liow's that:
lyon talk through your Isl curry.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Malice n

Witness-IIe came towards me and
wanted ter kick me on de leg six times.
Judge-IIow do you know he had the
intention of kicking you six times?
Witness-Bekase dat's jess the num-
Der OBJ black and blue spots I've got on
nv leg.-Texas Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A EonI Two NAYS.

Jinks-Well, If ever there was a fool
million, yet there he stands waiting for
u newsboy 10 bring him two cents
change out of u nickel he gave the boy
for a three-cent paper.
Blinks-Well, he's a fool. OF course
he'll never see that boy again.-Good
News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
NIisdlrected Sympathy.

A New York clergyman, meeting one
of his female parishioners dressed in
deep black, tried to console her by say
ing:
''You have no idea how / regret to
see you wearing those sad habiliments
of Woe"
"You can't be as sad about it as l
am" responded the widow. II look
worse in black than in any other color.
1t makes me look like a frlght."-Texas
Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"Talmage is not doing much with
the new church in Brooklyn"
'What makes you think so? heard
he was doing splendidly."
"Guess not. / read in the paper the
other day that he sold his pews. Must
be pretty hard up, ! reckon."-Texas
Siftin0s