davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
The Funeral of the Future.

"The time Is coming" said an under
taker OF this city, when people will cease
to go to funerals IN troops, and when the
friends OF the deceased will take farewell
of his remains at his home, instead Of fol-
lowing him to the grave as they do now,
This viii be a decided change for the better.
Funerals As now conducted are foolish and
meaningless performances. They bring
discomfort TO all who attend them, and in
many cases they do positive injury. Think
of the thousands Of people who catch their
death OF cold from standing shiverino
around an open grave, and from sitting for
hours in carriages travelling at a snairs
pace for miles into the country, OF course
the time is not far distant when buriaIs
VIII be largely superseded by cremation.
''On the whole, am disposed 10 regard
cremation as blessing. People are op-
posed to it now because they think that it
is unnatural and horrible II is simply n
assistance TO natures work: il does neatly
and quickly what nature acconplishes
after long time and in very unpleasant
fashion. l wonder If people ever realize
that when a human being dies the BODY
which be leaves behind him is not him
self There IS no more relation between
man when he Is living and when be
IS dead than there * between any Ev-
ing thing aud piece OF clay. But we
have not reached that stage OF civilization
when the popular mind can grasp this fact.
When we do. there viii be very different
funeral ceremonies from those now IN
vogue, and other methods Of disDosiuy
Of the dead viii change materially. -
New York Telegram
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
A Slight Evasion.

"You admit the profession free, don't
your" asked the grizzled old fellow at the
door
The profession? What profession' The
theatrical profession2 Why, of course. Are
you on the stage?"
eyes, sir. have been on the stage for
three years or more"
"All right, go on in"
He went in and enjoyed the performance.
On the road out he was stopped by the
doorkeeper again.
You say you are an actors"
No, didn't say that"
"Why, yes you did. You said you had
been on the stage for three years"
Yes, said have been on the stage, but
didn't say / was an actor. / drive the
Leadville stage every morning Light.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

do not believe that the old actors were
better or greater than the new. / rather
think that they were only different from
these. and am not at ali assured that tho
sing song" defamation OF Mrs. Siddons.
Of which Hazlitt makes mention. was as
effective "a the HURTING words Of Bern
hardt which are flung straight at the
hearts of the audience from her tongue
with the force of Davids sling. with the
directneSs Of the stone, and with effect as
startling II not As tragical. Garrick was
no doubt great actor, but was his power
to subdue an audience to his bumor greater
than Salyini's in tragedy IL would an
pear from all that we know OF him that
Garrick was moro accomplished come
dian than tragediaH. still do not believe
that he was the superior Of Burton. Burke,
Warren or Jefferson. Century.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
SunshIne.

Light is necessary to health. People
who live in gloomy places, say state
prisons, for example, ara always peakish.
Owls affect tho twilight and the dark,
and what miserable mopes they are.
Eagles love the sunshine, and how strong
Of wing they are and how exultingly
they soar. II is true that oue may have
too much sun, but it is cheering 70 SEQ
the sunlight. even when i Is necessary
70 ST IN the shade. How = eaEve1s Is
IN winter, exhilarates Is IN spring, en-
hances our appreciation Of the shade in
summer and charms rs n gio-!ous az
tuEan-
IN September. when Old Sol seems 70
have stolen a few pale rays from the
moon wherewith - temper his fiery
giorles, and al through Gorgeous Oct-
cher nay, even IN November, and
sometimes Up 70 mid-December. and
often II windy Mzrch-hovg delightful Is
the sunshine Of Cur happy latitude.
4 blessing On the sEzn' 'Of this great
world both eve and soul. source Of life
and health and beauty, sype II TIE ligh.
hat shall be. symbol q tbs E-aiIs q
God,-Ssw YORK Ledger.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

POETRY BY STEAM.
as the prettiest girl / veer.

She was the prettiest girl. / veer.
That mortal eye had ever seem
Her name was Anabel Christine.
Her checks were smoothed with vaseline.
Her bangs were curled with banSoline,
Her teeth were brushed with fine dentine.
Her face was brushed with coaline,
Her gloves were cleaned with gasoline,
She wore n dress Of grenadiae.
Looped DER a skirt OF hrillianteen.
Her pettcoat was bombazine,
Her foot was shod with kid bc,tine.
Her wounds were healed with cosmolins.
She sailed away from Muscatine
In ship they called q brigSatine;
She firted with gay MARIN
TIL they reached the Republic Argentine,
Where they were married By dean
And lived on oieomargarine;
Also the mild. tin clad sardiae.
And did disturb the Boston bean
When boiled and served In soup tu-een.
Salt pork they ate both fat and lean.
When garnished round with parsley green;
Likewise ye lobster coraline,
With lemons sliced its form to screen.
II short, they lived like king and queen
IN manhood's pride and beauty's sheen:
For bout them there was nothing mean
His looks and language were serene;
He wore a coat OF veiveteen.
She kept her parlor neat and clean:
Her fsvorite color was aniiine,
She rocked the cradle by machine.
And named the baby josephine.
Yet never was a brighter scene
Then when that girl, at sweet sixteen,
Entered the room with naughty rnien.
-Exchange.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

He had obtaire1 a place n -sal sx.a.s
of8ce, and wa doing cvsrytAlaz Re eozLd
tor the Interests 0. els err ploverx
TIE other evening h Wa ac a sc a
gathering. and wAs ASsed n sig. Re -
s5oades with -'aofns. Swess Hone us
Trends we're L;z4e surprised q: tns Hsiee.
ton, On; - was heartily spp.zc ssl. step
piag forward. he ss.d.
i an glad yol AEe4 tsse seor Taet- =
nothing Ike 'Hone, Ssest boms~ All
- me ssY tazt the eoaapsaY I represent -
selling thez4 O. feTEas - suG Toars<.t
VITA tzvslge sszlzlsfes' rssis - f1s cifg. Il
yos don xsat 70 live hsro x = tks chance
Of yoor lie ss- - izYss:sa=nG - Wssssla.s-
xn Pea
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
Frenchman. He was thus easily able {.

Frenchman. He was thus easily able to
explain the absence of the panther, and
| the respect which she had shown for him
while he was sleeping.
The first piece of luck emboldened him
about the future. He conceived the mad
idea of setting up a pleasant household
| life together with the panther, neglecting
no means of pacifying her and of conciliat-
| ing her good graces. He returned to her,
and saw to his delight that she moved her
tail with an almost imperceptible motion
| Then he sat down beside her without
fear and began to play with her. He
grasped her paws, her muzZle, pulled her
ears, threw her over on her back and vigor-
ously scratched her warm and silky sides.
She let him have his way. and when the
One day, in the most dazzling sunshine,
an enormous bird was lowering in the air
The Provcncal left his panther to examine
this new visitor; but after waiting for a
moment the deserted sultana uttered q
hoarse growl.
Blessed if I don't believe that she is
iealousr he exclaimed, perceiving that her
eyes were once more hard and rigid. "A
woman's soul mas passed into her body,
that Is certainp'
he admired afresh the rounded back and
graceful outlines of the panther. She was
rs pretty as woman. The blonde fur
blended in its delicate graduations into the
dull white color Of the thighs. The brill
liant sunshine made this vivid gold, with
spots Of brown. take on a luster indescriba-
bic. The Provencal and the panther
looked at one another understandingly
The beauty of the desert quivered when
she felt the nails of her admirer on her
skull. Her eyes gave forth Il flash ike
Lightning, and then she closed them hard
she has soulF'' he cried as he beheld
the desert queen in her repose, golden as
the sands, white as their binding I1ster,
and, ike them, fiery and alone.
''Ahl But it ended as all great passions
end-through a misunderstanding. Each
thinks the other guilty of 8 falsity. each IS
TOO proud for explanation, and obstinacy
brings about rupture"
Il don't know how hurt her, but she
turned on me ike mad, and with her sharp
teeth seized my thigh The action was not
savage: but fancying that she meant 20 kill
me plunged my dagger into her neck.
She rolled over with cry that froze M
blood; she looked at me in her last strug-
giles without anger
Il would have given everything on earth,
even my cross-which then / had lot won
to bring her back TO life. 1t was as II |
had slain human being And the soldiers
who had seen my flag. and who were hast
ening TO my succor, found me bathed in
tears.
Well, sir he went on, after a mo-
men.'s silence, since then ! have been
through the wars in Germany, Spain. Rus
sis, France; / have dragged my carcass
round the world; but there Is nothing Ike !
the desert in my eyes! All i Is beautiful /
superb
VIVA, did you feel there, I inquired /
OF him
Oh, that cannot tel you. Besides
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

fail was certain death. He preferred the
odds of conflict and determined to avail,
| the daybreak. And daylight was not long
| in coming. The Frenchman was able to
examine the panther Its muzzle was
stained with blood.
1T has eaten plenty" he reflected, with
out conjecturing that the feast might have
been composed of human flesh; 1T viii
not be hungry when it wakes"
1t was female. The fur upon her breast
| and thighs shone with whiteness. A mum
Der Of little spots like velvet looked like
! charming bracelets around her paws. The
muscular tail was also white, but tipped
with black rings. The upper part of her
! coat, yellow as old gold, but very soft and
smooth, bore those characteristic marks
! shaded into the form of roses, which serve
! to distinguish the panther from the other
species of the genus Felis.
This fearful visitor was snoring tran
gully in an attitude as graceful as that OF
a kitten lying on the cushions of an otto
man. Her sinewy, blood stained paws,
with powerful claws, were spread beyond
her head, which rested on them, and from
which stood out the thin. straight whisk-
ers with gleam like silver wire.
Acting as men do who, driven to ex-
tremities, at last defy their fate, and nerve
themselves to meet their doom. he saw a
tragedy in this adventure, and resolved to
play his part in il with honor to the last.
Considering himself as good as dead he
waited brsvely, yet with restless curiosity,
for the awakening Of his enemy.
When the sun shone out the panther
opened her eyes suddenly; then she spread
out her paws forcibly, as if to stretch them
and get rid of cramp. Then she yawned,
showing an alarming set of teeth and an
indented, raspEke tongue.
''She is ike dainty lady" thought the
Frenchman, as he saw her rolling over with
gentle and coquettish movement.
She licked off the blood that stained her
paws and mouth, and rubbed her head with
movements full OF charm.
That's it! Just beautify yourself a lit
tlen' the Frenchman said, his gayety re-
turning with his courage. Then we must
say good morning
And he took up the short dagger OF which
he had relieved the Maugrsbins.
At this moment the panther turned her
head toward the Frenchman and looked
at him fxedly, without advancing. The
rigidity Of those metallic eyes and their in
supportable brightness made the Provencal
shudder
The beast began to move toward him.
He looked at her caressingly, and, fixing
her eyes as il TO magnetic her. ne let her
come close up to him; then, with soft
and gentle gesture, he passed his hand
along her body from head 10 tail. scratch
ing with his nails the flexible vertebrse
that divide panthers yellow back.
The beast put up her tail with pleasure,
her eyes grew softer: and when for the
third time the Frenchman accomplished
this self interested piece of fattery she
broke into a purring like cat.
But this purr proceeded from throat so
deep and powerful that it re-echoed through
the grotto like the peals OF cathedral Or
gan
The Provencal, realizing the success of
his csressss. redoubled them. until the i'm
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

Sing heiga. sing 10, for ne. an inconyenicns
thinSi
A little dingy hole. a hiding underneath tbs
sink,
Where you put the pots AID kettles, and tha
things OF haser metals.
With the baking pans and Kitchen ware and
al the wares that clinS.
Stoop, Stoopl Steep with care.
Mind the nails on the door: II you don't you'r
catch your hair.
You'll break your backs a-reaoh!ng ladies',
twenty times day,
II you dent stoop with care when you put
your things away.
Old Nick. il was himself Oh, be Invented mo
To bother al the women and TO panish them
well.
By making a receptacle where wcndruus
spectacle
May. al any time, be found In the pit of-sheol.
StCoF! Stoopl Stoop with osrel
Mind the nails on the door. II you don't you'u
catch your hair.
You'll break your backs a-reAchinE. ladies',
twenty time day.
II you don't stoop with care when you pot
your things away.
Sing heigh. sing no. the crowd Of things. lust
let me tell them DER,
That every day. oh. ladies, dear! must be DER
hauled by you;
The saucepan see. the toaster. with the griidls
and the rooster
See the stove. the foor. the siuk brush. See
the spider and the broiler. the stove poi
ISL, the knife board and the sconrer. with
lis Bristol brick and al. Soc the fariba
kettle and the steamer. the porcelain ket-
tie and the dishraa, tAc kerosene ran, thu
teAkettlo; to say nothing OF the slgk agl
stove and dlshcls-A a-hanEias Ga ia
docr.
Stoop! Stoop! Stoop with care,
Mind the nails on the door; II you don't you'll
catch your hair.
You'll break your backs a-<caching, ladies.
twenty times day.
IL you dent stoop with caro- when ycu nut
your things away.
Good Housekeeping.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
Not Much Of One.

"By George, but this IS oddf' exclaimed
a citizen as he met another IN front of the
city hall.
Howl"
Il dreamed last night that met you on
this very spot"
"No:"
But did! You were dressed exactly
rs you are now, and your oyercoat was IN
buttoned."
Did we talk togetheri"
I'VE did"
did you ask me for any money!"
"NO-not exactly. | asked you To in
dorse note for me as great favor"
And indorsedf"
"You did. You said you'd he only too
happy TO oblige me. and left you with a
neart full Of
Never mind what your heart was full
OF. It's not much of coincidence You
owe me twenty dollars borrowed money,
and I'll see you in Halifax before I'll in
dorse your paper! Good day, sirr'-Detroit
Free Press
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
A Happy Retort.

When the revenues OF King Louis Xy
were at so low an ebo that even the serv-
ants at court could not draw their wages
at the regular time, the opera singers
presented a petition 20 the prime minister
asking for the payment q their ARREARS
OF salary.
Gentlemen, said the minister. ''we
viii first satisfy those who weep, il vii
then be the turn &C those who sing. =
ulustrirte Chrorik
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
y bushel Of cement will do wonders IN

y bushel Of cement will do wonders In
patching up chimney, and walls, too. for
that matter, and the housekeeper who has
never used it VIII do we'll to include IL
among tho next purchases she makes.
Mixed with equal quantities Of sand and
gravel, IL may be used To al tho spaces
around the stoyepipes where they enter the
chimney. The mixture should b. pressed
closely IN with the trowcl and smoothod
Immediately, us it hardens az once.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

Daughter-Mother, can't go over 20 my
friend Clara's and stay tonight
Nother-Indeed you sbant. I heard
that young Fred False;to tell you The Col
lege Glee club was 10 come here and seren-
ade you TO night. and you needn't think
I'm going 10 stay here and suffer alone
Life
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
A Sentative Tenant.

Indignant Landlord-If you don't pay
up, out you go. I'll have you fred RICH;
ont into the street, bag and baggage You
haven't paid a cent in six months.
Delinquent Tenant-Don't DO that n
be disgraced in the eyes of the neighbors
Rather than have you fire me out I'D
stand your raising the rent from twenty q
thirty dollars a month.-Texas Siftings.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28
a SuhfIc Distinction

Mr.. Stout-That was very small piece
of roast beef you brought me. ordered an
extra large cut.
Waiter-Dat was dc large size. sar
Mr.. Stout-What' the difference, them
Waiter-When a gent man orders Dc ex-
ira cut, sar, de cook puts IL on big plate,
an l charges you sixty cents instead %
forty, sar.-Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

always regret my panther and my clunt.
of palm trees. must be sad of heart for
that. But mark my words. In the desert
there is everything and there is uothing'
Explain yourself
"'Wellp he continued with a gesture of
Impotence, it is God without man ~
Translated from the French OF BaIzac for
the Boston Globe.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

wner Baby was sick, we gave her Castorfa,
When she was . Child, she cried for Csstoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Csstoris,
When shs had Children. she gave them CsstoriA
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-28

FOUR INSCRIPTIONS.

Marfowe, the fallen of the sons of song
Whose praise is England's Growing praise,
above
AN giories else that crown her. sweet and strong
As England, clothed with Light and fire OF
love,
And grit with might Of passion, thought and
trust,
Stands here in spirit: sleeps not here in dust.
Aarlowe star too sovereign, too superb
To fade when heaven took fire from Shake
speare's light,
A soul that knew but songs triumphal curb
And loves triumphant bondage holds of
right
His pride of place, who first in place and time
Made England's voice as England's heart sun
lime.
Marlowe babe England live in living song:
The life he Lifted up lit Shakespeare,s wav.
he spake, and life sprang forth in music. strong
As IRE or lightning, sweet as dawn of dav.
Song was dream where day took night to wife:
Let there be life" he said and there was life
Marlowe Of all our fathers first beheld
Beyond the tidal ebb and flow of things,
The tideiess depth and height of souls, i'm
PEELED
By thought or passion, borne on waves or
wings,
Beyond all fight or sight but songs; and he
1Ust gave our song sound that matched our
sea.
-Algernon Charles Swinburne.
The morning call., 1891-04-14
SACRAMENTO.
Items Of Interest From the City Of the
Plains.

Items Of Interest From the City Of the
Plains.
SACRAMENTO, April Is. AT the meeting
of the Capitol Turf Club tonight it was re-
ported that the subscriptions by citizens for
purses had been liberal, and successful
meeting is looked for. The entries will be
announced Friday night
The Grand Lodge of Knights OF Pythias
assembled here this evening with full del
egation. Mrs. Wood of Kansas City to-day
organized a Grand Temple Of Pythian Sis
Mayor Comstock this evening extended
the Inequalities of the city to the visiting
knights.
The Sheriff of Birmingham. Ala, arrived
here this evening on his way to Nevada
City for W. 5. Spear, under arrest there for
embeZzlement at Birm ngham.
At the exhibition of the School of Design
Tonight Miss Ida Frick of San Diego got
first gold medal for oil paintings, Miss
Josephine Blanch of Sacramento got spe-
cial medal for the same kind OF work, Miss
Lulu Weatherwax of Placerville got the
first gold medal for cast drawing, Miss
Louise Strachauer of Sacramento gold
medal for general drawing. The exhibition
was complete success.
Showers of rain fell at intervals through
out the day and up TO midnight So much
is not needed, but everything is growing
luxuriantly. At noon two flashes Of light
ming struck tree in the city limits
and shattered windows in a house near by.
The inmates felt the electric shock, but no
one was injured.
The State officials and employees at the
Capitol to-day adopted series of resolutions
OF respect to the memory Of the late ex-
Governor Waterman.
The exhibition of the Sacramento Athletic
Club tonight was largely attended. 1t was
ladies' invitation night.
The morning call., 1891-04-14
NO SURRENDER.
Organized Labor VIII Fight Or
ganized Dollars.
BIacksmiths Will Strike for Shorter Hours.
Dynamite on Paper-Crispins Ready for
Confict-Ark's Deficiency.

The Federation of Employers continues to
be the subject OF comment in labor circles.
The proposed combination of builders
will, according to the belief OF the labor
unions interested, never be formed, or if
formed will be Intellectual. The proposed fed
Grafton was the outcome of plan to boycott
non-union iron. The builders in conference
gravely discussed tie msfortunes that
would fall upon them If the builders would
not work upon buildings in which nom
union iron was being used, but none OF
them appeared to realize the fact that the
trouble would be settled if they bought their
iron from the union foundres, of which
there are thirteen in this city. The non
union foundries had control of the meeting,
the union foundries were not represented.
and motion to confer with the trades
unions was not acted upon.
One of the papers that has been whooping
up the federation says that the combination
of employers was not suggested by ltsel1,
but by all expelled member of the FEEDER
Rted Trades. The expelled members OF the
Federated Trades are Bushnell and Thur
man, members of the Typographical Union.
They deny that they had anything to Go
with the matter. and the general impression
among the trades unions is that the fedora
ton of employers was pushed along by the
Chronicle and Report.
The latter paper is denounced by union
lists throughout the city, ana motion was
made at a recent meeting of the Federated
Trades to expe its representative for mis-
representing union matters and it is stated
that the President of the federation offered
to break him in two and throw
him out Of a window for the same
offeuse. AS to the Chronicle, trades
unions have refrained from boycotting
it simply because it employs union printers.
Union men throughout the city are satisfied
that it is in the employ of the organized
capitalists, and the subject will be thor
oughly discussed at union meetings this
week, and at the meeting of the Federated
Trades ON Friday evening.