St. Paul daily globe., 1891-11-12

i'll few remarks about the election returns
or Massachusetts.
IL is noticeable concession on the part of
Republican organs that in formulating tables
of electoral votes they place New York n
the Democratic list. 1t is equally noticeable
that they fiagrantly clamp onto Iowa Massa-
chusetts, Connecticut and Wisconsin to help
out their totals. Such evidences of high
fever would seem to demand something of
the nature of a sedative.
-
see that the Philadelphia Press heads an
editorial Bosses to the Rear" How much
farther does the Press wish me to get toward
the rear:-Tom Platt NV
-
pyramid of 40 pianos, all connected By
wires to a keyboard which is to be operated
| by woman. is to be one of the features of
the worlds fair at Chicago. In spite of this.
however, it is expected that the show will
| draw few visitors
j. Sloat FaSsett says: Il am now inside
the Tiger" During the coming winter this
will be warmer quarters than outside the
| breastworks.
AT the worlds fair there will be Col. Elliott
| lean mushrooms.
In visionary anticipation OF trouble with
Chill many newspapers are publishing cuts
OF American war vessels NEARLY completed"
In case of actual war a vessel nearly COM
pleted would be about as useless as steam
radiator in South Africa
A great deal of silly y-billy fanfaronade Is
being written by amateur journalists, and
published in weekly and monthly papers
devoted to the interests of the profession, re-
garding the comparative value of local and
telegraph news. In this perennial discus
sion maximum of words are used to con-
ceal minimum of thought. 1t would seem
that few moments of candid reflection
might convince any one that that piece of
news, local or telegraph. which for the time
being interests the most readers is the most
important. The assassination of the pres
ident of the United States or the sudden
death of Queen Victoria would, doubtless.
be held more important news than anything
which could be brought into the city room
outside OF local earthquake involving ter
rible loss of life. On the other hand
the suicide of a prominent citizen under
scandalouS or mysterious circumstances
would weigh heavier as news with The we'll
balanced journal than would the death of
any one of many members of European royal
families who could be mentioned. The ques-
ton really resolves itself to this: Which
paper would obtain the largest state and
local circulation-the one devoted excu-
sively to telegraph news or the one printing
nothing else but pure local: 1t is a hard
question to answer, as the experiment in
| either case will never be tried
1t cannot be possible that William Dean
Howells is the author of that new story, THE
Quality of Mercy" for. according to Shake
speare, the quality of mercy is not
strained"
A great deal is being said nowadays about
university extension, almost as much as
about Democratic extension.
~
Some sallow literary dyspeptic has said
| that the golden age of the epigram was past;
but just as he had finished saying so, writer
in the Pittsburg Post sprung Pennsylvania
is the Quay-stone state and still holds the
belt as the champion American epigram-
| matist.
1t transpires that Pat Egan was not blown
up by Chilian torpedo, as reported. He is
still liable to a recall. The attention OF B,
Harrison is directed to this fact.
-
Trouble is continually brewing for Iowa
prohlbltOnists. But it is brewing in other
states. and other states are reaping the pecu-
mary benefit. Why not brew it in Iowa and
| encourage home industries j..
Should congress decide to Springer new
candidate, the speakership Mills may turn out
some pretty Crisp news ere long. 5,
We are told that Tolstoi's lean aud caday-
erous look attracted much attention while
he was in Paris. 1t has long been suspected
that French culinary art was rather more
ornamental than "Hllin.'
-
The Sioux City Journal quotes a st. Paul
evening paper that is always ready to black
both eyes of the town wherein it noiselessIy
clrculates to this effect: THE city of St
Paul is at the present time passing through
one of the most crucial periods of its exist
ence." This is all bosh, the boshiest kind of
bosh, diabolical, Malignant false and un-
called for. In fact, among the hundreds of
thousands in the Twin Cities, none is pass
ing through a crucial period, " with, perhaps.
the exception Of few who have not as yet
availed themselves of the advantages Of
fered by the GLOBE Small Wants
-
In the Old Bay State of Massachusetts Re-
publicans are at Bay; in Iowa they are
husked out clean; they claim they are mich
iganized" in Michigan. and it is morally GER
tain they will be Badgered in Wisconsin in
1892. Under such un favorable circumstances
who'd be member of the g. o. p?
~
A man with three tongues, four chins three
cheeks and an elephants ear is amazing the
medical fraternity of New York. 1t is not
stated whether his father was book agent
or a Republican ''spell6inder.'
~
1t is time to "pi'' and throw in hat chest
nutty head. In Railway Circles! There
are few circles in railways outside the turn
table.
Miss Woke Eliza-So you were three years
in the army. Mr. Oldboy?
Mr.. OldbOy-Yes.
Miss Yoke EIiza-Didnt YOU feel uneasy
when the bullets were singing around you?
Oldboy-Not III the least.
Miss Woke Eliza-Why?
Oldboy--Because the bullets didn't sing
Comrades
TEDDY" Roosevelt has agreed to furnish a
ST. Louis paper three articles on big Game
Hunting He might head one of the arti-
cles How Chased the Tammanv Tiger and