The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-06-11
QUEER THINGS IN coEElNs.
Eccentricities That Make Even the Solemn
Undertakers Laugh.

What is the last curious thing you
have met in your lugubrious business?'
asked n. Y. Tribune reporter of an
undertaken the other day.
The undertaken opened the lid of a
coffin near his elbow and replied: do
you see that satin lining?"
Yes. What's odd about that?''
yellow"
yellow is common enough color"
Not for coffin Innings. my boy
They're generally white. But this
coffin was made for woman whose
main ambition in life was to look well,
and her last dying request was that her
coffin be lined with old gold satin. as
that color best set off her complexion
which was rather sallow and dark
Promise me, she said i don't want
all those women to come in and see
me in my coffin looking like fright
So they promised. and she died con-
tented.
Only woman would bother her
head with such thoughts on her dying
bed moralized the reporter
I'm not So sure of that" said the
undertaken. Il once buried an old
chap, saloOn-keeper whose income
while he lived was uneveny divided
between the support of his family and
the decoration of his person. The
family got the smaller half. He wore
the most expensive clothes at all times,
and the glitter of Al diamonds from
his shirt-froDt, nccktie. watch-guard.
and his big. red, chubby hands actually
dazzled the beholder. Well. when his
time came he had very little property
but his jewels to leave behind him. but
he made a will bequeathiug the little
he had to his wife on the condition
that she dressed his body in his best
suit of clothes. decked it with his dia-
monds and buried them eyerys one,
with him. Otherwise his whole estate,
including the diamonds, was to 90 to
charity.
The poor woman declared she
would obey his every wish. but it was
with heavy heart that she brought
cut the suit | was to dress the corpse
III. 1t was of the loudest, biggest.
most glaring plaid YOU ever saw;
enough to frighlen Old Nick himself
away. The shirt was all covered over
with pattern composed of purple
ballet-dancers and scarlet bulldogs,
and these with his big diamonds gilt
terinT all over him. made startling
sight for the mourners who looked in
to his coffin. Many were the lamenta-
tons that the poor widow should be
Obliged to bury all those diamonds.
ami much admiration was expressed
for the wifely devotion which kept her
from murmuring.
But The widow was no fool. She
buried the jewels sure enough, but
hardly WAS the grave filled up before
she ordered the sexton to empty it
again. The cotfin was opened and the
widow took the diamonds from the old
curmudgeou' shirt-front with her own
hand. Then they buried him second
time.
Il heard of another strange case"
continued the undertaken, (which,
though it did not come under my OBJ
Servution. yet believe it to be true.
1t was that of a man who always had
horror of being buried alive He left
Il provision in his will that Il big bottle
OF chloroform was TO be put in the
coffin with him. 1t WAS to be laid bv
his side and 4 tack-hammer put in his
hand, SO that If he came to life UNDER
ground he could smash the bottle ut a
blow and ill the coffin with fumes that
would kill him instantly and painless
I,-'l