The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1891-01-31

tho now one dawn In his note book, hs
asked carelessfY:

tho now ono dawn In his nota book, hs
asked carelessiy:
"HoW do you spell your name? You
must excuse me, but Ana not auro I
have 1t written as it should be-
II spell 1t as everybody else DOCS
answered the gentleman, oddly,
"J-o-n-e-s, Jones'"
There arc some names that are partic~
ularly hard to remember. For Instance,
there was Rev. Josiah Stnhb. One OF
his lady parishioners could never re-
member his name, and called him vari-
ously Mr. Snaggs, Spinks or snools.
At last she visited u wise neighbor, and
conlded to him her difficulty.
Easiest thing In the world, my dear
madam" said the learned man, who had
made ~ study Of muemonlo Systems and
had nlctbod In his madness; "in order
to remember ono thing, you must In
variably think OF two. Whenever you
SEQ your excellent pastor approaching,
think of tho word too Then stub
my-toe, which will instantly Suggest
Stubh This is n uucmotcchnic that liz
infallible."
Tho good woman vent home moro
mystifled than enligl. toned, and over
after Addressed her pastor rs Mr. SGubb-
my.too.
Another Instance Is related OF IN old
lady much given to forgetting names
the name OF u gentleman WHO was to call
On her waa Mr.. Cowdry. She ~ae drilled
In q memory lesson on tho name, and
when the person In question called, roso
to receive him quite ut her ease.
your name is very familiar to me, :"
sho said aifably; ''good evening, Mr.
Drycow."
John 3. Cough used TO DO taken with
unexpected spells Of forgetfuneas when
addressing an audience. Az ~ well
known, ho rchcarscd his early lectures
In a cabbage fold. On one occasion ho
stood up before II fashionable audience
and could not recall one word OF his
lecture. He repeated tho preliminary
address, but thoro he stuck. At last no
exclaimed Aespairingly:
"Oh, for nay beloved cabhage-headsF'
In few moments tho inspiration
oamc, and Us no recalled with vivid OF.
fcct his lost Illustrations, he said tlAnk-
fully:
II am glad you arc not cabbage heads,
noWp
The failing memory OF ago Is termed
In medical dictlon nn,cntta. Emerson
suffered from 1t whom he could not ro-
mombcr the name Of an umbrella. bat
asked his daughter FOR THAT Thing you
held up whom 1t rains" lio attended
the funoral Of Longlellow and at the
grave Ao paused aud said:
"llo was u beautiful spirit whom wo
have Just buried horc, but can not re.
member his name
When grand tathcr goes around look
Ing everywhere for his glasses, which
arc repoaing safely on his benevolent
old forehead, then memory is playing
him % trick and he laughs at it with
that philosophy which Is tho alchemy OF
ago.
An amnaInE STORY Is related Of ~
TronchW"n who sat by bis tresidn read.
lax u book when tho nurse brought him
his infant heir to danAle on his knee. A
friend calling upon him, he forgot that
no was not reading, and, throwing tho
child on tho table, rs il it had been II
book, no left the room. Fortunately
tho nurse was AL hand to rescue the anal
treated child.
1t is Il humiIiating thing to he fooled
by memory, but it Isl constantly happen
ing. You approach ~ stranger with ~
cordial smile, mlHtnking him for an old
time friend, aud you meet the friend
and peer into his fnco with vacant re-
gard, tho capricious tnpmcry stuhborniy
refusing TO help you recognise him. You
sit down to think over the joyous events
Of tho past, and, 10, memory comes to
you in her sables, and fills you with hor
sweet bitterness.
"I'wo things there AFRO with memory Will Mbde,
WnutovDr olHe hcfnll while Ito flows by;
Tho Soft cold hand touch W. tho altar side;
Tho thrill that aho oI you at your chlld's
FIRST cry"
Mira. Mary l.. Eaync, IN Detroit Free
Press.