davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
HUMOROUS.

Miss Languish-"Were you ever dis
appointed in love, Mr.. Hearty?' Mr..
Hcarty-"Yes, indeed, every time. N.
Y. Truth.
-Judge-"You are charged with be-
ing drunk and disorderly. Are you"
Prisoner at the Bar-''Not guilty, yer
amer. Oh was too dhrunk to be dis
orderly. anyway."-N. Y. Telegram.
She FISHING for a compliment)-
"Do you think my voice needs cultiva-
tom" He anxious to pay her COM
pliment)-"Nota at all, not at all. Cul.
tivation couldn't improve a voice like
yours. ~. Y. Press.
Ills Favorite Toy.-"Young Sappy
is rather Predetermined sort of fellow
the kind of man who might be tickled
with straw" 'Yes. especially if there
was cocktail at the other end of the
straw. SATURDAY Evening Herald.
Not ul.-Spacer-"What is
the noises about in the next room ?"
Liner-"I guess our friend, the poet, is
struggling with an idea" Spacer-''ls
the idea his own" Liner-'Yes.'
Spacer-.'Then he will proba bly, escape
unframed Town Topics.
"A Sons Superior Opp ortuni,' os.-
Plain Father-"It didn't use to eos. me
a tenth part as much to live wien ]
was at your age" Fashionable Son
Il know, father: but you didn't hav., the
advantages then of associating with
fashionable young man like me"
Gainesville Journal.
A Dispute Settled.-Cyril lin the
gardenl-''Father! father. look out OF
the window" Paterfamilias quitting
out his headl-''What nuisance you
children are. What do you want now?"
Cyril with triumphant glance ut his
playfellow)-"Tommy Cope wouldn't
believe you got no hair on the top OF
your head. Yankee Blade.
He Saved His Friend.-''My, that's
pretty girl" said one of the Travellers
throwing himself half out of the win
dow to see her. For Heavens sake
pull in your head!" shouted his compan
ion. whats the natter" was the ter
rified inquiry. why" suiting the &C.
ton to the word, 81 wanted that win.
dow to look ut her myself. "-Philadel.
phia Times.
His Fatal Error.-'T am glad to
hear that your graduation was such a
success. dear" but it wasn't" "Why,
heard you received round after round
of applause" $50 did, but was not
half through with my essay. merely
intended to make an impressive pause.
1t was that hateful little idiot Charlie
Tapecounter who started them, and I'll
never speak to him again as long as !
live. don't care If he does-admire-
me. "-1ndianapolis Journal.
"A surgeon had a rich hut miserly
patient who had injured his leg SO badly
that he told him that it would probably
have to come off. ''How much?" said
the patient. Fifty dollars" Fifty
dollars! Why, you ought to cut off two
legs for that" swell, will if you say
So" The man reluctantly agreed to
pay the price and have only one leg
taken off, but skillful treatment saved
the leg. When the surgeon asked for
his pay the patient, with many u grim
ace, handed over the money, remark
ing: you're a good deal of fraud in
charging me SO much, for you did not
cut off my leg after ALL Detroit Free
Press.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
TIRED.

20 tired, 80 tired my heart and I."-E. d.
Browning.
What though we're tired my heart and II
II matters not. there's more 10 cone;
We must live on. We cannot die,
Must rise and grid our armor on.
We must be strong. my heart and I,
For heavy burdens weigh US down.
They press SO hard, yet they must try
To lift the cross, who'd wear the crown
We must be brave. ray heart and I,
We have no tirae to give to tears
For broken hopes, that ruined lie
Along the pathway Of tho years.
We must look up. my heart and I,
Straight on, where faith ard hope arc seen,
With eager step and earnest eye.
With steady trust and steadfast mien.
Loo; up. not down: look on, not back,
And grasp the hand OF faith secure,
Eor'not 0 good thing shall he lack
Who thus through oil things shall en-
dare"
s'Tired out" you say; nay. nay, not So
For. las the day. thy strength shall be-"
And lie who bids you Rise and 60
Has also said: Come, follow me"'
He does not ask tina: we should tread
A path lie has not tread before;
Then follow. without fear or dread,
For He will guide you, doubt no more.
Lucy Leggett, In Good Housekeeping.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

by Henry Irving's special desire,
his son Henry will commence his the.
atrical career under John Hare. the
lessee, manager and leading actor of
Garrick's theater. Young Henry Irving
will make his debut at that theater
during the coming season as Lord Beau
troy in the school for Scandal
The fireplace in Robert Louis Ste
venson's island home in Samoa is the
only one in the land. The furniture in
the dining-room Is all Chippendale, OF
which there is probably not another
piece in the southern Pacific. 1t seems
in roorp that has its walls decorated
in native tapestry made from the null
berry tree.
The little Spanish boy whom Min
lister Palmer brought home as pro-
tege is great favorite in Washington.
lie is the son of an army officer. and is
q miniature Apollo. In fact, he is SO
handsome physically that his parents
by adoption have had a plaster cast
taken of his entire body for the pur-
pose of having his graceful person pre-
served In marble.
Lady Gordon Cumming can not fail
to be charmed with her new home, for
Altyre. Sir Williams family place in
Morayshire, is one Of the most beauti-
full in the Highlands. The house is a
large building of no special architectural
prctensions, but it is surrounded by
charming gardens and grounds, which
slope to the Deveron, and the famous
woods of Altyrc extend for many miles
along that river.
A number of the ladies ut Bar Har-
Dor have formed a club for playing
billiards, game at which Miss Hattie
Blaine, the secretary's daughter, is said
to be particularly expert. One of the
prettiest women at this famous old New
England resort this summer is Mrs. Jo-
seph Male, Of Philadelphia, whose bru-
nette beauty is striking in its attractive
ness She is an accomplished pianist,
fine horsewoman and good dancer.
A work of great historical interest
and value will shortly be deposited in
the British museum. 1t will come
through the Asiatic society of Bengal.
society has secured from Thibet copy
of the Jangym, monster encyclopaedia
of Thibetan buddhism. 1t comprises
225 volumes. each of which is two feet
long and six inches thick. There are, it
is supposed, only two copies of the work
outside of Thibet.
Unique and beautiful will be the
monument destined for the grave of the
poet, Shelley, in the Protestant ceme-
terry at Rome. The model represents
the drowned body of the poet, which
lies, absolutely nude, upon narrow
oblong slab supported underneath by
two winged lions. In the center, at the
base of the pedestal, is seated an ex-
quisite figure of the Muse, bending
slightly forward, as though to catch
the last dying echoes of SO, nd from
her broken Tyre. The slab al d the re-
cumbent figure will be of white marble;
| the Muse and the winged lions Of
bronze, while rare marbles Of various
colors will be used in the pedestal.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A WINTER AT NICE
rlll:urD FROM TIE ean.n Br HsTTlf { MILLER
Copyright. 1891. by A. N. Kellogg Newspaper Co.
CHAPTER I.-CoSTrSuEp.
BY Il. vow osTEN.


CHAPTER I-CoSTISUED.
ST knew it, said my new friend,
smiling at my enthusiasm. Whilst he
looked through the journal pour rlre."
/ examined the company and discovered
In the last room slender form, darkly
,habited. with its back towards us, sit
ting reading. Long, fair curls escaped
from under the block hat. could not
take my eyes from them. 1t must be
she, my travelling companion of yester-
day; l felt as If | would give consider
able to be positive. But how was that
possible? The lady was sitting in the
farthest room, it would be embarrassing
10 go in there. Perhaps she would
change her place, or leave the cafe be-
fore US. So sat there and stared at
her hair: Nice seemed more interesting
to me at Rumpelmeyer's than at the
Hotel Suisse.
SWELL. said the Russians deep. quiet
voice suddenly, what have you discov-
cred SO engrossing? You look as If you
were bewitched.''
/ blushed like young girl. had
thought the man was taken up with his
comic paper, and there he had been
watching me for long time from be-
tween his fingers.
''Is it Mile. Adele who has en-
chanted your he continued, laugh
ing; II should not have exposed you un-
warned to the fire of her pretty eyes.
Indeed one has to be careful at Nice
about ones lady acquaiItances,' he
aaddnd Significantly
''You are quite right: but should one
deny oneself the sight Of beauty on
that ACCOUNT
slave you really discovered some
thing SO beautiful" asked the Russian,
with q bored look. II am doubtful.
Wait until we see the lady closer.
have unfortunately very sharp sight
and an aversion to rouge"
Up to this time it is only few curls
that have captivated me-" said l.
''Those may be false too, as you well
know the more natural they seem the
less likely are they to be SO. But it
certainly requires some genius to OBJ
tain the appearance Of nature, and it
would be interesting to meet such q
Lady. II am at all in the way will
60 and smoke my cigar on the quay"
II pray you do not. 1t is simple
matter. Yesterday travelled with a
strikingly beautiful girl and believe
have met her again." The Russian
turned his head slowly.
"A pretty shade of hair" said he,
sand graceful, easy carriage; it is a
pity that place was chosen so that one
cannot look at her face without SEEM
ing impertinent."
''She is sitting opposite the window:
how would it be if we looked in from
the street,"
''Splendid! ! had not thought of
that
''Long years of experience" said he.
half ironically, half sadly. We paid
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
e,nrht "a Re Very Thankful.

OF the late Bishop Amcs the follow
ing anecdote is told: While presiding
over a certain conference in the west \
member began TRADE against uni
versitics and education, thanking God
that he had never been corrupted by
contact with college. After proceed
ing thus for few minutes the bishop
interrupted with the question: do I
understand that the brother thanks
God for his ignorance" "Well, yes, :"
was the answer; You can put it that
why If you want to-" "Well. all have
to- say" said the bishop, in his sweetest
musical tone-"all nave to say is that
the brother has good deal to thank
God for. "-lsOston Post.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

girl and away she ran. proba bly, up to
the old lady. She did not look unhap-
py. but pretty-very pretty!
At breakfast the Russians seat was
vacant. and Miss Rennert said. sadly.
that he had gone to Monte Carlo. and
would not return to dinner either.
took his chair and asked il he were q
professional gambler, as she seemed
worried about him.
II am not troubled on account Of his
playing" said she. What can it hurt
him? lie is wealthy and can afford to
lose thousands: but know from his own
words that he only uses gambling as q
means Of forgetting lie has a great
sorrow: and only plays when his
thoughts become unbearable: that is
why you see me unhappy about him.
We are fast friends. although we do
not converse much We both spent
last winter here: then he was sadder
and more reserved than now"
told her that we had been together
yesterday. She was pleased.
THAT is NICE" said she; that will
do him good. He is forgetting alto
gether that he is still young and avoids
young folks. Towards you he coulp
fill the place Of friend and mentor"
AS am SO utterly inexperienced, SO
to say. green, said playfully.
WELL" she said, smiling, '.you can
not deny that you are young: be glad Of
it. You have so much to anticipate;
leave experience to your elders, who
have often bought it dearly"
While my old friend was speaking, l
saw the beautiful eyes Of my pretty
neighbor at table, whom had SO faith
lessly deserted to-day, fastened upon
me with peculiar expression. AS our
eyes met, she did not withdraw hers;
my pulse began to quicken and the
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
RUBBER HIPS.
They are the Successors Of the hustle With
New York Women.

They are the Successors of the hustle With
New York Women.
Although the hustle has been
doomed and has sunk into obscurity,
yet womenkind is not satisfied, and
makeshift is in sight, or rather, it is i'm
use and not in sight. 1t has taken the
form this time of artificially developed
hips 1t is the same old hustle that
has reappeared, but it is cut in two,
and the two halves moved around one
on each side. A lady who knows all
about such things told me. She had
one on herself, and when l commented
on her increased robustness she
laughed, blushed, patted her hips and
said:
Its not me, it's rubber. False hips
are the latest craze. and one that is
becoming popular with wonderful
rapidity. The pads are made Of in
fated rubber bags. They are not SO
announcement as the old time hustle
and not much more of a nuisance to
wear Go down Fifth avenue any day
and you will be surprised at the num-
Der of remarkably broad-hipped
women you will meet. They have
grown wonderfully stout in the past
month"
"Why do they do it?'
''Oh, the great advantage to be
gained in appearance is the smaller
look Il gives to the waist. / don't
think there is any other reason.
That's quite enough for any woman.
The fashion has its serious drawbacks,
too. Sometimes the pads slip around
and the effect is unpleasant. Again.
too, l am always in fear that a pin
will puncture one OF the things, and
that one side of me will go off with a
loud report. You can imagine how
lop- sided one would look after such an
accident It's horrible to think off,
n. y. Herald.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
COlOred Constance.

indulging in the following conversation
on one Of the streets of Texas town:
Il say, Jim, you doesn't call around
as much as yer ulster at de house of Miss
Matilda SNOWFALL"
DE truth am, Julius, called on her
SO many times in dis hear close, dat Use
afeerd she will suspect my wardrobe
arm limited
''Pshaw, niggah, you is fool. Jess
keep on goin' to see her jes' as you is,
and den she will be sure to take to you,
bekase You are SO unchanging in your
suit.-IIeah. heah! heah.''-Texas Sift-
inps.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
No Mistake.

Astonished Bill Clerk - Isn't there
some mistake about this order from
Bankers Corners for eight hundred
pounds Of bacon and two bags of chic
DRY.
Travelling Sa lesman-No. That's all
right. A fellow went there "A week or
two ago and started a first-class sum.
mer resort hotel.-Chicago Tribune.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
The Long and short Of II.

Mr.. Bingo Gmpatiently)-Clara, /
should like to know just for iosity's
sake how long it has taken you to dress
for the ball?
Clara (swectly)-Fifteen minutes, IA
Their
Mr.. Bingo-Fifteen minutes! I'll bet
q hundred have been waiting here q
good hour.
Clara-True, dear father; but you
forgot shat l had to undress first
Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Mon0cle VI. Spectacles.

Mr.. Hubby (of Boston)-I saw q man
making a regular monocle Of himself
on the street just now.
Mr.. Westby-A what?
IA monocle."
"Ha! Ha! You mean spectacle, don't
you?"
mo, sir, do not. There was not
pair Of him, and therefore he was a
monocle. Thank goodness, can speak
the English language correctly"
Light.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Too Thin.

ut is astonishing" remarked Sam
Cody at the breakfast table, "how ex-
tremes meet in this world"
ITO what extremes do you refer, Mr..
Cooly?" asked the landlady, who was
pouring out the coffee.
"Well, you, for instance. are very
stout, and the coffee is SO very thin,"
and he stirred up the mixture and smiled
in sickly sort Of way.
Its not as thin as your excuse for net
paying your board bill regularly"
Sam has not said coffee since.-Texas
G;ffinrS
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A Suspicious Circumst ance.

Judge (of a murder case in Missouri)
Did you notice anything suspicious
about the prisoner?
Witness Yes, Stree! He'd just
washed his hands, SO l knowed at
wunst he must hev had blood on 'em
or sun'thin' extraordinary. - Munsey's
Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
The FILTHY Weed.

Puffer-I've heard it said that tobac
co is one of the substances that are en-
tirely free from the presence of mi
crObes.
Robert Reed shouldn't wonder
Even microbes have sense enough to
recognize that it's unhealthy for them
-Munsey's Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Offended Majesty.

Referee ito the disguised SPECTATOR
What did l understand you to say, sir
that you're '.sick Of these big fights
that always end in q draw"
Disguised Spectator-That's what I
said.
Referce-very well, sir; II you will
kindly step this way, it will give me
pleasure to demonstrate to you how
much sicker you can feel Of fight that
will be to finish.-Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A Competent witness.

Miss Snowball-Mister Johnsing,
seen your wife dis aft'noon. She wuz
shakin' tableclof on de front po'ch.
Mr.. Johnsing-Dat wuzn't q tableclof.
It was my buster.
Miss Snowball-Ilow did you know
dat?
Mr.. Johnsing-I wuz in it.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Childish Diplomacy.

Mother-Here is your medicine, my
dear.
Julia-Is it nice?
Mother-Well. you take it, my child
and then you will know.
Julia-You take it first, and let me
see if you make a .face-Once a Week.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A Safe Plan.

Tenderfoot-I notice you call every
body colonel.
Western Resident-When a man looks
like q gentleman, call him colonel.
That's the style out here.
Suppose he looks like tough and
backlog"
Call him general. &c God News.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Advantages Of Wealth.

Mr.. Nicefello-I am told that Miss
Bullion never wears the same dress
twice.
i Miss De Pink rival belle)-Yes, that
Is true, and understand she has diff
ferent set of teeth for every day in the
week.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Getting Acquainted.

GLOW are your new neighbors? Socia-
ble?"
"Oh, yes. Very. They've borrowed
four pounds of butter, ten eggs, step
ladder and ten yards of hose inside of
twcaty-four hours. "-Munsey' Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

Niss Manhattan-How do you &C.
count for the prevalent use of specta-
cles in Boston, Miss Emerson
Miss Emerson-We do not regard it
proper to gaze with the naked-er, the
aaclothed optic.-July.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Not to Re Trusted.

Wife-Let me send for DIR. Killman.
You said some one recommended him
highly.
Sick liusband-I don't want him,
dearest. The man who reco u1paended
him is an MISUNDERSTANDING.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
ITO RE CONTINUED

-"How do Henry and his wife get
along together? Are the relations be-
tween them pleasant" "Quite pleas
ant; excepting, of course, a mother-in-
law and maiden unt."-Boston
Transcript
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
The One and the Other.

A-That wasn't nice of you to refuse
me the ten dollars l wanted to bor-
row; and friend should always help
another.
B-Yes; but you always want to be
the sther.-Life.I
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
lie Was willing.

Miss Scadds Ito the minister)-Mr.
Hunker and are going on q ramble.
win you join us?
Rev. DR.. Thirdly (who caught only
the last sentcnce)-With pleasure. DC
you wish the ceremony performed in
the church?-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
An Old Hotel.

Traveller Crying to write his name on
q hotel register)-This is a historic
hostelry, believe?
Host (proudly)-Yes, sir, one of the,
oldest hotels in this section, sir.
$50 l supposed-from the pens."-
Good News.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

On Q Long Journey,

Tramp-Please, mum, cant git work
at me trade now anywhere around here,
and wud you be SO kind as ter help me
along on me journey to place where I
can find work?
Lady-Poor man! didn't know BUSH
ness was SO dull Where do you expect
to find work?
''Considerin' the time O. year, mum,
I'm afraid I'll have to 60. a long ways
north of here"
Indeed What is your trade?"
I'm q snow shoveler, mum. Good
News.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Taking 1t Literally.

Garcon-Table d'hote.
Mr.. Jaggers-What's that?
Garcon-Ze regulaire course dinner.
Mr.. Jaggers-Well, I don't want
nothin' coarse. I'm in York fer time,
and want the finest you got.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A Grant Girl.

A Great Girl.
THAT horsey Miss Wilkins is a mon.
strously clever girl"
''Is she?"
"Yes, indeed. She's invented new
kind of binders"
''For carriage horses?"
mo; for chaperones. Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
A BATTLE-SCARRED VETERAN.

Mr.. Madison Squeer-So you haven't
honed that razor Of mine yet, eh?
Didn't tell you must have it, because
| was going to party tonight?
Prof. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. me, sab;
but clean forgot hit. Jes' let me loan
yo' dis one, sab; hits de one usually
talks to pahties.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

A bright Sabbath day and Johnny
has been fishing. Johnny's father and
mother are both very much alive, and
as he seats himself by the roadside for .
few moments Johnny las visions.-Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Good Enough for q Starter.

''What kind of a dinner did you say
that was, John?" inquired Uncle Rufe,
from Harkers' Corners, as the two went
out Of the restaurant with the gilded
front.
"That was table dhote dinner" re-
piled his city nephew.
"Well, john" said the old gentleman,
lets go now and get something to eat"
Chicago Tribune
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
Accounted For.

bridget, this chair is covered with
dust"
"Yessum. Nobody S sat in it lately"
Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
There It II Reversed.

Every dog has it's day.
is proverb which doesn't go in Al
giers.
Winedibble-Why?
Observation-Disclosures there every
dey has his dog.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

Mrs. Nuclos-Why do you always ap-
pear in your worst gown when going
out with me, Bridget?
Bridget-Sure, I'm always afraid the
people moight mistake me fer tn mis-
tress if wore me foine driss.-Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20
An Emuslatlc Yes.

An Emphatic Yes.
Young Croesus-May marry your
daughter, sir?
Her Father with emotion)-Young
man, you have saved me from bank
ruptcy!-Munsey's Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-08-20

A Hard Question to Answer.
"Say, papa"
swell. Willie?"
IF there's two lions, which gets the
lions share?"-IIarpeEs Young People