The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1891-11-27
THE SCIENCE OF MANNERS.
A simple RuIe for Use on All social occa-
aiona.

~ Simple Hule Tor ON al SDCtht OcCt-
sions.
Many good soul gives herself great
uneasincss upon being called into n new
sphere Of action, either through i'm
ereare OF wealth or through the hus-
bands election To- office, or because of
promotion i'm any way, or on occasion OF
visit among those with whom mach
social usage has rubbed away corners
and angles, and who know just what
TO do and how To do IL at every point,
and who. she fears, will either bc NOR
tilted by her ignorance of the lesser de-
tails or will scorn her ignorance, and
herself with IL.
But she should take into hel view, in
the first place, that anyone who would
scorn her i'm the least for not knowing
the minor shades of etiquette is not
worth considering in the least, and that
she is no more to be thought lightly OF
for not knowing the details of fashion
able life than fashionable people would
he flouted for not knowing the in
tricacies of behavior among the high
Chinese; and that IL fashionable people
were to visit her, it is quite as likely as
not that they would show themselves
to he unacquainted with the accepted
proprietes i'm the smaller ways of life.
She needs but ito think of the wran-
CLING and confusion and resentment and
hcart-burning which would follow II
country funeral if a city person had
come To- conduct IL without instruction,
in order TO see that every province has
its own satrap and code of laws, and
that after all il is much the case of the
mountain and the mouse in Mr. Emer-
sons apologize.
But there is an exceedingly ready
and short way out of every difficulty of
tho sort, for if the embarrassed indi-
vidual of whom we speak will take the
trouble to- reflect upon the various
dicta of the regulations concerning
which she feels herself uniformed.
and which have seemed to her only
trap and pitfall for the unwary, she
will come to the conclusion that none
willingly hamper themselves with use
less or capricious rules, which would
only involve their own discomfort. and
that it is therefore to bc supposed that
every one of these lesser details has
sprung into being to answer a need, to-
make things easier, to spare peoples
feelings. preiudiccs or cXertions, That
She must not break an engagement to
dine, let us say, is not simply because
she must never break any promise, but
because doing SO will disarrange
the whole affair, and make awk- |
wardness and Inconvenience for |
those that have been so kind
as to ask her to their table That on |
calling tremendously on one member |
of household, who is so either tenn |
porarily or permanently, she should |
leave her card, or ask for the lady who |
is the head of the house, even if quite |
Indifferent as to whether she sees her |
or not, is not the command of an idle |
piece of hypC trisy, but is to be done |
both because the courtesy is due to the |
person whose threshold is crossed, and |
because iC makes the circumstances
easy for the person on whom the call is
really made, avoiding any disturbance
or Jealousy. That she may not refuse
an invitation from one and accept it
from another is not rule for the arbi-
trary curtailment of her liberty and
pleasure, but is one made for the sake
of sparing the sensibiities of the one
whose invitation is not accepted. In
deed, we might go through the whole
list OF the things to be done and
not to be done, and although one might
be appalled, by their extent and number.
yet, upon searching into them, one
would find that "a single authority con-
troled them-the authority that is be-
hind all good manners-thc authority of
the Golden Rule. They are the finest
ladies, they are the gentlemen most
without reproach, in relation to man
ners, whose whole behavior is modelled
only upon the intetion of doing to others
what they would have others to do
them. The old Stagirite said-how many
centuries ago!-that manners were the
lesser morals; and our friend who fears
for her etiquette on coming into new
meridians will meet most of its essen
tial requirements by always remem ber-
ing to do that which would be most
agreeable to others, most delicately con.
sideratc of the feelings, and the least
likely to hurt, or wound, or mortify, or
iisgust.-li arper's Bazaar.
Seeing n Friend.