Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-05-03

Fotlo,1fno Good HaHss.
the standard of American hotel cooking.
And yet there is good deal of room for inn
provement
After every days run, or at the end Of
the trip, the dining car conductor counts up
his cash, looks over his checks, balances
cash, looks over his stock Of liquors and
checks up on that, and then he begins to
take stock in the kitchen. The conductor
told me that the chances for stealing on q
dining car were about as good as they are
for robbing a slot machile. There used to
be chance to make the price of two drinks
out Of bottle of whisky, but keen young
Jay Gould of special agent discovered
that there were IL drinks to the bottle in
stead OF 10. He was promoted, and the last
perquisite, even to the empty bottle, was
taken away from the conductor.
when the Conductor Does His Work.
Towards the end of the trip, while the
porter is brushing the dust earnestly off the
back of one passenger and depositing it on
the other; while the prettier ladies are
waiting anxiously to primp while the uglier
ones are monopolizine the primping facili-
ties and replacing their travelling teeth with
those they wear in town, the perspiring con-
ductor of the dining car begins to cheek of,
supplies, embracing over 1000 articles, to
see what will have to be bought, so that the
requisition may 60 in at once.
No one thinks, while calmly eating in Q
weetsmelling diner, and looking out over
he velyety meuds where the tomtit greets
he jocund morn, that A, 200 articles are in
.tock, packed III Ter the floor beneath his
Ieet or concealed about the car, and that
all these must be kept in stock and in good
shape oil the time, subject to the order OF
guests.
Eggs, oysters. fish, ETC., you can see, are
rather fragile stock to keep on hand, and
there are a great many other things besides
that require watching. It does not do to
wait till the guest finds out about the de-
cadence of eggs or the paresis Of the oyster.
What You Can Get on q Train.
All, all must be looked over. Even the
nutmeg which has lasted over two or three
trips has TO be duly reported, and its con-
dition marked on the straw colorea report
and registration. Eight kinds of soup,
four kinds Of veal, four kinds OF ducks,
three Of chickens, etc., are on the list
from which the menu. is made, and
toothpicks the inventory must be
made up each trip, and the financial
condition and the sanitary condition of the
cuisine stated carefully. Thirteen kinds Of
fish are on the list, and any one of them, If
at all dissatisfied with its surroundings,
can take of the keen wire edge Of pleasure
even for Congressional funeral party.
Most people on board train are like
children, they do not know where all these
things come from, but they lose their tenn
per IL they cannot get everything. They
often sit and rack their brains to think Of
something that they may not be able to
fnd and then they ask for it. They are
especially arid while going through Stats
where prohibition reigns, and they sometimes
order jug before crossing the State line,
so that they may acquire il inside the
State.
A Joke on the Bankers.
A young man in Dallas the other day told
me of good joke on Drexel, Morgan b
Co., and as they are doing so well pre-
sumo they will not mind it il tell 1t here.
You can never successfully pick on pros
porous people. Now look at Jay Gould.
have always said what liked about Gould,
and yet be and are just as good friends as
ever we were. i don't see any difference At
all. He never used to speak to me, and he
also does not yet.
But If he had been unfortunate, for In
stance, and life had been q failure, or the
sheriff had made him pay his fne for not
serving as juror last fall, or had scared
him and garnisheed his pay at the Western
Union Office, Jay would have been i'll
tempered over what have said, and either
stopped his paper or refused me the privi-
leges of his rolling stock; but now be and
Just 90 along as we used to. It has made
no difference with either of rs. We are
above it.
Well, the young man said that be went
East while ago with letter Of credit from
the Kansas City Safe Deposit and Savings
par forS SS00 Z 49,, Mor-
gan & Co. 5 and presented it. asking for 500
on account. A clerk took down q sort Of
timetable and looked over it, then he asked
the young man to be seated q moment be
did so. There was more consulting OF the
directory.
Into the Cold, Cold GaoL
Later on wide blue policeman came In
and asked the young man to join him In
little saunter. The Texan was to be mar
ried that evening to a beautiful young lady
of New YORK, and so You can see how little
interest he felt in trysting with fat police
man who shaved himself
The young man was shut up 10 the cold,
matted atmosphere of the goal in less than
half an hour, the accusers merely telling
him that there was no such bank az hs
claimed to have letter from.
We will now suppose that q week has
passed by. All is bright and chipper In the
gay, glad sunshine, but pain alone is the
portion OF the felon. The young man from
Texas bad not changed his collar for 168
hours. His trunk had not been sent mp to
him, and he had been nightyless, II you will
allow me TO coin q term.
At that moment, the doors opened and
freedom entered. lyon are released, !" said
a kind old man. "The Messrs. Drexel,
Morgan & Co. present their compliments
and regrets. They thought that Kansas h
City was in Kansas"
Possibly the joke il on Drexsl, Morxzn =
g Co., but If il is not on the Young ma Il
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