The Critic and record., 1891-04-27
TIE CRITIC
EBROED.

heard good one on George Vest, son
of the able Senator from Missouri, not n
great while ago. It goes about thus, i'm
my informants language;
Speaking of pawnbrokers, he said, 81
think l'll never forget night had with
George Vest. We had been out one even
ing enjoying ourselves, when we got out
of money. 10 was winter time but IL was
quite mild, and we hit on the idea Of
soaking our uvercoats. No sooner sug
gcsted than done as quickly as possible
We went to an old couple, now retired
from the business and got Sll. Well, we
had fun on this until a pretty late hour.
George said to me.
"'I---. you've got to 20 home with me
TO keep the old man off me; he'll be wait
ing for me, certain
"Wcll, ] went home with him and we
were let in by the Senator. As we en-
tered he remarked, rather severely:
This is a pretty time of night for two
young gentlemen to be getting home.
Now, father, begged George, please
don't lecture me before l.
"'Why, he needs it as much as you do
We thought that was all, when the
startling question was asked;
"'WhCre are your OvercoatsP
! was stumped but George snapped his
finger and said:
"Go)d gracio Is, L., we both LETT
our oyercoats ut the Willard
Just like your Carele,snes Now,
George, before the last car quits, you 20
and get those oycrcoats. l. will sit
here with me-
"The old man smelt a mouse, especially
when George began to urge we were not
going out any more that night, and that
servant could be sent after the garments
early in the morning.
u" No; you must get those overcoats
tonight
I'VE had to go / insisted on going too.
When we got outside George wanted 10
know what on earth we were going to do.
Well, we canyassed the situation desper-
| ately.n
How much money have you left?'
| asked George.
twenty-five cents, and youW
Fifteen cents
"The end of it was we went mp to the
| Capitol, woke up an old policeman and
| got twelve dollars. Tnen we went to the
! old pawnbroking couple and had time
| of it rousing them. They at first refused,
| but finally, after we promised a dollar
| extra, we got our coats BY this time the
cars had stopped running and we had to
walk home"
The Cmb.stone Philosopher stood on
Pcnnsylyadia avenue, in front of the
White House, in what looked like a dark.
brown study. When he got ready to let
fly with the observation which the
| Critic felt sure was taking shape in his
extraordinary brain, he said:
81 am not much of a Connoi3seur i'm
art, but ] know something about nature,
| and ] tell you the artists who designed
| that statue of Lafayette over ON the cor
ner bundered. There is the figure of q
| woman, shapely and adorned in the un-
adorned way in which, we are told, nature
| is adorned the most, and yet each one of
| those five Gallc heroes and gallant gem
| tlemen have their faces turned the other
way. Is that natural? You don't think
so, do your And vet the artists call
| themselves Frenchmen. They may be
| French in name but that monument is
no more French than ! am Turk"
"The Alaskan Indians have peculiar
CUSTOM" said a gentleman who had
| passed some months in that distant pos
session of Uncle Sam, 'in accordance
with which one tribe may demand what
is called 'potlatch' as an indemnity for
| the death of or wounds received by any
| of its members at the hands of one OF
| more members of the offending tribe
The 'potlatch' is simply presentation OF
| presents accompanied by a feast and
dance. The tribe giving the potlatch
stands in the position of a sort of inyol.
! untary host who entertains self-invited
| guests. A tribe with q grievance against
another, when it gets good and hungry
| and needs more blankets 10 ward off the
| hyperboreau blast, invites its host to in.
vite it to 'potlatch;' and in order that
the fine Italian hand of diplomacy may
not stave off the entertainment till tn,
hunger gnaws and gnashes and the BIAS
cuts and slashes, the tribe of the iirs
| part sets itself in motion for the village
of the tribe of the second part, and in per
SON invites its prospective entertainer tC
issue an invitation as | have already
said.n
Sometimes - continued this explorer
this proceeding involves preliminary
discussion as to which has the best grounC
for invitation to the 'potlatch.' But il
the would.be guests have used due dis
cretion and have not underestimate theiI
ability to bind their backhanded invita-
ton hard and fast nj et dimiS, the have-to
be entertainers generally get together al
the deliCaCieS of the season in the shap,
of dried fish, seal grease and other arctic
comestibles, convert one of their bigges
buildings into a dancing-hall, unloose thu
strings of jOcund revelry and let her so
|
more Enthusiastically costumed in imitation
of fish and fowl and beast, to the music
of drum and rattle try TO out-do eacl
other in physical contortiOn and joint
cracking, growing more and more eXctet
every moment, and accompanying them
selves each with sounds peculiar to tht
animal he represents, with a choral chan
by the audience, until they reach tht
climax in barbaric swirl of deep-lungeC
howls and spasmodic jumps.
"a season of feasting then interyenes
during which the potlatch, or distribution
OF presents, takes place, the entertain
| ed having already named the amour
of cloth, blankets, ETC., that will satisfy
the demands of hospitality. After thi
another set takes the floor and the SAM
performance is repeated, and thus tn
round of reyelry and feasting may b.
kept up for several days. A potlatch' i
a great thing" concluded the traveller
Then a small-sized "potlatch' was organ
lied with THE CRITIC as host.
The next great empire to adopt a re
publican form of government will be Ger
many, said gentleman who was borl
and educated in Munich, and who dis
tinguished himself in the Franco-Prus
sian war. 81 can see the thing coming
The people are tired of the reign of Em
peror Williams in fact, they are tired o
| living under a monarchy"
Are the people getting ready 20 un
crown William ?n asked the Critic.
"Oh, dear no. William will not b.
disturbed during his lifetime, but max
the prediction that he will be succeede,
by man who will be selected by pOpua
vote, You may discredit me when / tel
you that there is a widespread feeling al
over Germany against the house of Ho
henzolern, and that the people even nov
are ripe for change, but il is a fact.
ought to add that a war between Ger
many and France would not hasten tn
coming of the change"
Baby's Long Voyage In the DriftwOod
From ne DdlidS Neics.
A curious story was told on the street