The Republican., 1891-11-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


Mr.. Golly-"Nour beauty almost
makes me fear you" Miss Maud-"O,
there's no danger of your catching it."
N. Y. Herald.
Did the rainmakers never think OF
trying stage thunder on a large scale to
produce rain? 1t always succeeds be-
hind the footlights. buffalo Express
DO tire you?" he asked, after
speaking for half an hour of his hopes
and ambition. 80. no." she answered,
sweetly; Il have been asleep. p."-Har-
per's Bazar.
-Bort-"Do you believe that a house
can be haunted?" IIort-"Of course.
Why, my house is so haunted by tailor
that l don't like to go there at ALL
Lowell Citizen.
Easily Satisfied. say
that my consenting to marry you has
made you very happy" He-"Yes.
You see what simple thing it takes to
make me happy. Yankee Blade.
"A Stoical Sufferer. - Dorothy Ito
married friend) -" DO you still find
Charlie to be the hero you once thought
him?" Mabcl-"Wcll, yes. He hasn't
once complained of my biscuits, al
though l can hardly eat them myself"
News Defined. - First editor
'What is your definition of news?'
Second editor-''News is the sort of
thing our rival across the way habitually
doesn't print. "-Somerville Journal.
-Macready Ham-"Did you starve
when you were stranded in Daliota?"
Hamlet Booth-"No, sir; l boiled that
cloak of mine ! wore in The Silver
King and ate it for an omelet "-Bos-
ton News.
"A lIint-Papa (up stairsl-"Maude,
is that old man gone yet?" Maude-
"Whom do you mean?' "Cholly
Hicks" Cholly lIicks-''I'm not an old
man" Papa-'You weren't when you
arrived | know-h'lt time flies, MIR.
Hicks, time flies. N. y. Sun.
-Parent-''I came to inquire on be-
half of my son about the situation you
advertise. don't know as he will suit
you. He has just graduated from col
lege and" Shopllceper go, that
doesn't signify. What he knew before
he went there will probably come back
to him in time boston Transcript.
An Unretincd Dog.-'I'll get even
with those next door ncighbors of mine
if it takes thousand years They
have trained that misel'abl cur of theirs
to howl every time l sing" "Why, that
is the strangest thing | ever heard OF.
You don't mean to say the dog had to
be trained, indianapolis journal.
-Gray-"I took those ladies into the
stock exchange, and l expected to hear
them complain that there was so much
noise that they couldn't hear themselves
think; but they didn't seem to notice it
at all l don't understand it." Dunn
80, that's all right. Those ladies are
members of the sewing circle in our
parish. "-Boston Transcript.
Pat Got There Just the Same
Paddy Doolan went into shop one
day to buy eggs. What are eggs to-
day?" Eggs are eggs, to-day, Paddy"
replied the shopman, looking quite tri
umphantly at two or three lady custo-
mers who happened to be in the shop.
Faith, I'm glad to hear you say So"
replied Paddy, ''for the last ones got
here were chickens. brandon Buck
saw.
81 wish l was a star" he said,
smiling at his own poetic fancy. II
would rather you were comet, she
said, dreamily, His heart beat tumult-
uously. And why?" he, asked tenderly,
at the same time taking her unresisting
little hand in his own; land why?" he
repeated imperiously. "Ohn she said,
with q brooding earnestness that fell
freezing upon his soul, because then
you would come round only once every
fifteen years. s"'-Pilgrim's Progress.