davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-02-22
From 4 REPORTERS NOTE BOOE.
PICKED Up HERE AND THERE II TIE METRor.
OILS.

PICKED Up HERE And THERE II THE METRor
OILS.
"Wha' IS it, Patrick" inquired the proprietor Of
IN Eishthavc. china store, as his porter appeared
a. The d., in an agitacd manner.
"Goly!@
"What:7
Il Wa clcann' up Thin now sets Of afthcrdlnner
coIccs dowa,tlr, under the gIatin' and al o'
~nddint h'2.d a snccIc up above N thn street and
thin down fail, set Of filc teeth throuch the Criu
bars and bu the handle of of a cup Ill there ,cz
the teller up above. oon' down through the crat;n
bring up me teeth. whist sen !, lookin' mp. come
down here, We ,papecn, and pay for the chany We
broke lie was kinder scared at that and walked
away
Have you got them teeth. patrickl' demanded
The proprietor anXIously.
That / have
Clean 'cm up, man" said his employer bri,kly
and then put em the mark-down counter and
label 'cm bargain Eou-ht in cheap under the ola
tariff.
oh. Mr.. wilkins said a young Madison-avc
mother. Of her husbands bachelor friends arose
to say gOodcvenine, you ru't see baby before you
cO.7
u ,houd be obliged he answered rather weekly
bat isn't il to) later he inquired looking about ol
hi, hit.
"Not Bit" she insisted and after moments
a! scnce TIE fond mot'cr returned with a bundle OF
dainty wraps ard lace. ana presented infant
couutcnsnce for inspection.
Y.u never saw a dearer baby in your lie she
declared putting the mite OF humanity int her guest
unwilling arms.
I'm not up on babies" he vcnturcd fccDly, hold
ing the infant if il would C. po!c, but should
say it was--was beautiful
IL knew you would think so7 said the pleased
mother.
Il hope 1t hasn't fever he ra,hy added.
"Fcver?7
Yes. loOhs flushed You know
NONSENSE said me mother Indignantly. " all babies
arc pink, and besides. Mr.. wilkins She continued
coldly, you keep saying It. My baby Is boy
Il beg your PARDON ,ammCWd the unhappy
bachelor The respiration beginning 10 stand ont on
III, brow, there WASH; anything in thc-thc attire
10 ndic2to-but tIen," ne bGhdcrcd Il might have
known il was boy because it-llc f. bald"
\ look If Mortified am2zcmcnt came on the young
mot'.cr's face.
Don't let ne dcaln yen. Mr.. wilkins" size said.
quickly relieving him Il the infant burden. and when
you get home If VIII read up bablc, you viii
hnd,' she added with significant glance, that red
faces and bald heads mostly confined TO middle
aged BACHELORS
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-02-22
MRS. CHCGWlTER INTERPRET

Mrs. Chugwats. arrayed in her best gown, was
sitting for her photograph.
NOp' Nprcsslon-pardon mc-is little too severe
said the photographer looking at her over hi, camera
Relax the features trifc. \ little more, please.
Wait a moment"
lie came back. made slight change in the adjust
mcnt Of the headre then stood OIL and Inspected the
result.
Now. then. Ready. Beg parron-hc expression
Is still little too stem RclaN the features trial,
\ little more please Direct yOur Gaze al The card
this upright post, and wink a often as YOU feel
like it, III ready. one moment again-ptldOn me
the expression |, sill to, S"Vrr. Relax The -
"Samantha!' roarcd nr. Chugwatcr. coming ont
from behind the scecn and glazing at her savagcy,
smile. darn you! Smc!'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-02-22
WHAT JOHNNY WAITED FOR.
From The Cincinnati Times star.


a story Is told Of funny incident in suburban
school. \ new pupil came for whom there was no
desk The bright ey 81, golden haired teacher told the
boy "tO sit IN" front seat for The present lie
was given attention during the day but when
school was dismissed St chung 10 the seat. Well,
Johnny" said the teacher You not going home ,"
Ne, ma am" tn, boy replied. but I'm waitin' for
the present. ! want to take IL home" The teacher
laughed, but attempted an explanation. and Johnny
walked sadly ont. realizing that life IS full OF del,!vc
hopes, and that things are not what they SEEM
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-02-22
NOW + COLD AFFECTED HIM.
From The cleveland pandealcr.

little Sibiey st. boy caught very severe cold
while his mamma was out Of the city. and her re
turn rushed up To her. eager for her sympathy. and
throwing his arms around her, cried: ION, mamma,
both OF my eyes Is ranin, and of my noses won't
Con
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
They Caught Their Lawyer.

When Judge McCreary, the member
from Kentucky, was rising young
lawyer in his native State he was en-
gagged once by three gamblers to de-
fend them in a criminal action before
a Circuit Judge. The case was such a
poor one for the defendants that Nc
Creary advised them to let him plead
guilty for them and pay their fines.
This was agreed TO, and when the case
was called McCreary arose and said:
II appear for the defendants and
plead guilty"
The presiding Judge noted this down
and replied: 'Mr. McCreary appears,
pleads guilty, and is fined"
'But." protested McCreary, 81 am.
doing this for the defendants. and. 7
have not yet received their fines" -
That makes no difference, retort-
ed the Judge. You have been fined
by this court and you are Committed to
the county Jail until the fine is pai6.n
The future Governor saw. tile wis
dom of speedy settlement and drew
on his private purse tor the amount.
The best part of t..Ae joke was that
when the gamblers found that they
were to be flied so heavily bv the
court they made their escape. leaving
their eonfiding counsel several hun
dred dollars out d pocket. Judge Nc
Creary there ANA then resolved never
again to defend any gamblers. And
he has kept his resoIve.-New York
Tribune.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
Japanese Interiors.

The houses that the Japanese women
occupy are, it goes without saying, as
neat and wondrously fashioned as
themselves; almost always full of sur
prises, with movable panels, with
boxes and slides, with compartments
of all shapes and astonishing little
closets. Everything is minutiously
clean, even among the humblest, and
of apparent simplicity, especially
among the richest. Alone the altar of
the ancestors, where sticks of incense
burn,is gilded, ,lacquered, and garnished
like pagoda with vases and lanterns.
Everywhere else purpose baroness
a baroness all the more complete and
white if the dwelling pretends to ell
egance. No embroidered tapestries;
sometimes transparent portieres, made
of strung beads and bamboos. And
never any furniture; it is on the floor
or on little lacquer pedestals that
necessary objects or vases of flowers
are placed. To the mistress of the
house luxury consists in the very ex-
cess of that cleanliness of which spoke
above, and which is one of the incon-
testable qualities of the Japanese peo-
pie. 1t is everywhere the custom to
unshoe before entering a house, and
nothing equals the whiteness of those
mats, upon which one never walks
without fine socks with divided toes.
The woodwork itself is white, neither
painted nor vanished, keeping as its
sole ornamentation, among women OF
true taste, the imperceptible veins of
the Young pine.-Pierre Lott, IN Har-
per'S Magazine.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
C. "A. SNOW g. CO.
ADMINISTRATIONS SALE 9E
REAL ESTATE,

PY virtue of an order of the Pfohsaf q Coprt
- of Portage county, Ohio, tn o En de rsipned
as administrator of the estate Of ,anieI p
Brode, will offer for sale at yublie uction on
the premises about two milas south ef the cen .
ter OF Charlestown Pertag& county Ohio. on
SATURDAY. ARCH Z, 1891
between the hours of ora and four O'Clock d m
the following described real estat e. -'
SITUATED IN the t0yynshlp OF CiIarlestown,
county OF PORTAGE, and Staff of Ohio, and
known as part Of; lot Ma. 49, bounded on the
north by lands, Of G. j. Can't eld; east by the
nlgnWay: g sSgta by LANDS of ieorge Brown and
the T. U. g =; = r and west by lands of the
ESTATE g t =. Austins cor tanning seventy five
Alsa, a sEact of Ialqd in lot No of said town
5aiP. equity and state; bounded north by
Brow; south by lsnds of T. Lowrie; and west
Dy U-nds first above des cribed containing about
sly acres of land.
Said two tracts appraised at 5000.
Also the undivided one-half of the followiD q
real estate, situate n the township. county and
state as above, AMI bounded on the north by
lands of h'anyan and Curtis; on the east by
lands OF JOAN h Lowrie; and on the west BIZ
lands or Il. L. COe ; containing about fifty acres
of land.
Appraised at S625.
"A hns new house the premises. worth
$3oe0;; good bank barn, with shed; the lands
are WeEl improved and o. good quality Nc
better opportunity can be afforded to purchase
an excellent ht t,me and farm.
EermS: oNe-third cash, One-third in one We AZ
one third in two years; deferred payments tC
bear interest and be secured by mortgage I
the premises sold.
THOMAS FL CLARK
ITO Administrator of Dan'l P. Brode's estate.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
NO SALE,
He Tried Intellectually to Get Rid of His
Horse for Thirty Pounds.

A wise commander may pardon the
recklessness of young soldiers, full of
animal spirits, and ambitious to distin-
guish themselves by deeds of daring.
But he will frown upon the veteran
whose wantonness of courage makes
him foolhardy, when duty does not
oblige him to expose himself. Baron
Malortie tells of Waterloo veteran, a
Col. Volger, who did very foolish
thing in the first Holstein campaign.
On the day before the storming of
Duppel, he was on duty in the
trenches. The gallant Danes who
defended Duppel shot so accurately
that no Prussian dared look over the
earthworks. Suddenly, to the aston
ishment of his officers, Col. Volger
was seen riding his old gray mare up
and down in front of the earthworks,
amid a shower of bullets.
Thinking he had gone to inspect the
out-posts, no one ventured to make a
remark. But when he passed for the
third time the place where the officers
had congregated behind the breast
works, the senior captain stepped out
and called the colonel's attention to
his needless exposure, and entreated
him not to court death in this reckless
manner. The colonel grinned, thanked
the captain for his warning, and then
explained his conduct.
"There's no danger" said he; ''they
are a parcel of buffers; can't shoot a
bit; they miss even my old mare,
though I've treated them to splendid
target. The mare is done for; that's
the reason have been walking her up
and down for the last quarter of an
hour. It's thirty pounds in my pocket
if they kill her, but I've no luck. ="
(The government allowed thirty pounds
to an officer if his horse was killed in
battle.)
At that moment a bullet struck the
colonel's sword-belt, and, slipping on
buckle, made the round of his portly
waist, slightly grazing the skin. The
colonel shrugged his shoulders, and
unfastened his belt.
Captain, you may be right" he
said; ''it is safer on the other side;
those fellows are capable of missing
the mare and treating me to another
shot higher up. Only foot lower and
the mare would have had it. and I
should have received thirty pounds.
Provoking, 'pon my honor!"
Following the captain, he slowly
rode into the trenches, where he dis
mounted, and patted the old mare,
saying, II dare say she won't be sorry
to be spared this time"
The mare was not hit during the
whole campaign. On his return to
Hanover, the colonel sold her, much
to his disgust, for eight pounds. She
ended her days between the shafts of a
four-wheeler.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
"NeH Came Singing"

The train was running at high rate
of speed across the country, with every
thing apparently going well, when the
speed suddenly slackened and present
ly we came to a dead stop. There had
been an accident by which the engineer
had been terribly hurt, and he was
brought back to the baggage car and
one Of the train men sent forward.
..How bad is it, Jim?" asked the con-
ductor, as we were trying to do what
we could for the poor fellow.
so bad that l shan't pull through,
Tom"
Don't say that! You'll be home in
twenty minutes, and the doctor won't
find it so bad"
At the end of the time specified we
stopped at small country station, and
as the wheels ceased to roll the suffer
ing man looked up at the conductor
and said:
'.Nell will be coming, Tom"
Yes"
s'Make it as light as you can. Poor
Nellr'
And as we were lifting the burned
and bleeding body out of the side dool
of the car bit of a woman wearing
the whitest of aprons and the cutest OF
straw hats. came up to the platform,
singing annie Laurie" She had
some flowers in her hand, culled from
the little front dooryard for her jim,
and she had almost passed US on hel
way to the engine when she caugh
sight of our burden, cried out in he1
fear and agony, and fell as one dead
"Poor Nell, she came singing,
moaned the engineer.
| Poor NellI' whispered every one
gathered about, and for long hours a.
we sped forward each signal whistle
from the hand of the man who hat
looked upon that picture of woe ant
misery seemed to shrek out the words
Poor Nell-poor Nell?'-M Y. San
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
The Monkey House in Central Park. i.

The monkey house in Central Park
is the favorite resort of that half-mill-
ion of children who live in and around
New York. Here there are fifty
monkeys. In one big cage there are
a dozen new monkeys not yet thor
oughly accustomed to civilization.
Their cage has to be tidied, and so,
when the keeper enters with his broom,
the whole lot of them squeal and
scamper off to the opposite side of the
cage, and huddle there. 1 am certain
they are not really scared, but only
pretend. In this lot of monkeys, one
two-foot monkey has become the dear
friend of Il very small one, and so,
whenever they scamper from one side
of the cage to the other. the big one
acts as horse for the little one.
All the monkeys are on intimate
terms with Mr.. Jacob, the keeper, and
some are never happy unless they get
into his arms or can hang about his
neck AS the keeper has to use his
broom vigorously in sweeping the floor,
it is funny to see him carry around a
necklace of live monkeys while at his
work.
That monkey house is scene of per-
|
| when all hands are asleep. You will
see monkey perfectly still and mo-
tionless, and you will say: That chap
is dead tired at last. No wonder!
Now he is going to take comfortable
nap" Before you have said that, off
is that very same monkey, swinging
on the rope, and twice as active and
energetic as ever. 1t was only one OF
| his tricks.
You cannot help laughing when a
monkey looks at you. If you stare
back at him he will blink and wink,
then put his head on one side, with a
knowing air, just as would rude,
vulgar little boy when he says: ..Whom
are you staring at? Hope you'll know
me next timer" If you face him for a
while, it will end by the monkeys
yawning, which means, You make
me very tired" ."-Harper's Young Peo'
lpLe.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
Mr.. Eisseldorf and the Water Pipe.

Hans dot water bipe gifts no water
alretty, und you vos peter sent oop
dot blumber to vix id vonce more"
This remark was addressed to high
ly respected German citizen as he sat
in front of his cosey CRATE. He receiv-
ed the announcement with evident dis
favor.
''Vot! Dot water pipe again? 1 vas
shoost congratulatin' meinself dot pc
ice wagon comes no more. und dot new
hat vos paid for, und dot Christmas
vas long vays ahead. und now Won off
dose plumbers! Mein gracious. Gretch-
en-, I got no money for plumbers.
1 vixes id myself Joe!' ADDRESSING his
ten-year-old son, ''vere vos dot leakP"
Then Joe proceeded to explain that
the leak was under the house, where
the stout frame of his worthy ancestor
could hardly go.
..Neffer mind, neffer mind. You
gets me some pipe and a monkey
wrench and save dot blumber's bill.
So the next day jockey got the pipe
and the monkey wrench, and his father,
having divested himsolf of all surplus
garments, entered the hole. pulling the
pipe after him. 1t was tight squeeze,
and after lying on his back to conven-
ience his position. he proceeded to dis
cover the leak. Very little water was
now coming from it, as he had taken
the precaution to turn off the tap. He
hadn't turned it quite tight enough
and yelled:
Turn off de water"
s.All right, fader." replied Joe.
Joe didn't know his right hand from
his left nor the philosophy of screws,
and turned it on.
The old gentleman's mouth was nm
der the leak. He was wedged in. He
sputtered and swore and swore and
sputtered. but his wild yells to Joe
were muff1ed by the sound of deluging
water and Joe was intent on dog
fight across the way. as he set on an
empty nail keg and chewed gum.
He looked over his shoulder and saw
the old man with face of mud. spat-
tered red. shining angrily. creeping
from the hole. His clothes clung limp
ly to him and trickling streams mean
dered down his neck.
Joe apprehended danger and sped
away at pace that left his corpulent
father far in the rear. AS the boy sped
out of sight Mr.. Eisseldorf gathered
himself with supreme effort and sail
ed the monkey wrench at the fleeing
form, crying: mine gracious. do you
dink vas tam duck?"-F'ronl the Oi!
City Derrick.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
KILLING RATS BY ELECTRICITY.
The Remarkable Invention of Scientist
at st. Paul.

The reporter followed the electrician
down the stairs. An underground
apartment-ab 40x60 feet-was en-
tered. Like terrible giant, a dynamo
was revealed in the darkness. Little
flashes of electricity were seen spark
ling on the ends of the brushes. Great
pulley wheels, over which the leather
betting was rapidly gliding, hung just
over their heads.
Come this way and let me show
YOU my mysterious apparatus.
Together the two men CROPPED along
until they reached the side wall. Here
they stopped. The gentleman seemed
to the feverish fancy of the reporter like
a magician. He reached up somewhere
in the darkness and turned on the cur
rent into an incandescent lamp. There
was not much disclosed. A simple
wire with hook upon the end, and that
was all.
wait moment, please, and I'll
show you how the things works" said
the electrician. He reached up in the
darkness again and brought down a
piece of cheese. Taking this and a
saucer full of sawdust to faucet in
the wall, he dampened them thorough
ly, explaining that water was a good
conductor. Returning, he placed the
saucer of dampened sawdust on the
ground under the wire above mention
ed. and stuck the cheese upon the hook.
He explained the modus operandi of
rodent determination thus:
You see Mr.. Rat walks up on the
damp sawdust in the saucer. Con-
cealed in that is wire connected, as is
also the upper wire. with the dynamo
wonder. The one has the negative and
the other the positive current. When
the rat gets into the saucer he scents
the cheese. He reaches up for nib
BILE. The instant he touches his nose
to the cheese he completes the circuit
and that does him up.
He had hardly finished his explana,
ton before it was verified. A gray old
veteran of the order of rodentia mount
ed the sawdust, completed the cir
cuit'' and expired instantly.
The electrician is something of
wag and considerable of punster:
He gazed at the electrocuted rat and
soliloquized:
HE has gone ohm (home) to dyna-
no. (die no more). after which the re
porter made his escape.-Pioneer-PreSS
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
THEIR HAIR TURNS GREEN.
The Queer Transformation Worked BY
Certain Ores on Nevada Miners.

The patrons of hotel in San Fran
cisco, much frequented by farmers and
miners, were considerably startled one
afternoon recently when tall individ-
ual with bright green hair. whiskers
and eyebrows walked up to the desk
and calmly registered as Charles W.
Long, from Ward, New,
The clerk, used to almost any kind
of strange visitors, stopped short in
the middle of sentence intended as
an answer to an inquiring guest who
wanted to know when the 9 o'clock
train for the north would leave, and
with a puzzled look eyed the verdant
arrival. The loungers around the
lobby were attracted one by one, and
gazed with wonderment at the green
haired stranger, who. unconscious of
the sensation he created, quietly asked
to be shown to a room. A reporter
ventured shortly afterward to inter-
view Mr.. Long, determined to find out
what business man with such queer
colored hirsute appendage had outside
dime museum, and received the fol-
lowing explanation from the emerald
hued individuals own lips:
II have for some time been working
in the Martin White mine at Ward,
New, and what appears strange to you
is common sight where came from.
We have lots of green-haired people
there. Every shade of green, from the
darkest bottle color to the brightest
grass-green, is represented in the mems
hair at that mine. The reason for it is
connected with the ore. The latter is
base, and it is necessary to roast the
whole of it. During the roasting pro-
cess no disagreeable fumes are observ-
able, yet the hair. the boards and the
eyebrows of the men engaged about
the works are soon dyed bright and
permanent green.
I'm scores of Nevada mines ores of
various kinds are smelted and roasted,
but at none of them is either the hair
or beard of the workmen changed
from its natural hue.
ut is said there is less arsenic in the
ore of the Martin White than in that
of MANY other mines. O. smelters
say arsenic has no such effect on the
hair and all declare that the green
color impaired to it is due to the pres
ence of some unknown and mysterious
mineral or metal.
white, light or sandy beard and
hair take grass green, whereas black
or dark brown hair is dyed deep bot
tle-green. The hair is not injured by
the color, and retains its original
strength and stiffness"
This is the manner in which Mr..
Long explained his extraordinary ap-
pearance. He will remain here for
some time. and even if he escapes the
ever-vigilant agents for dime museums
and is not hired as freak for one of
these establishments, he will certainly
create sensation on the public streets
every time he ventures out for walk.
San Francisco Chronicle.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
Green Clerk and Green Customer.

The Buffalo Egpress relates that
green clerk in large crockery store
in that city sold plate that was mark
ed 1925 to a female customer for $1.25.
The first sum was the price per dozen.
Great was the dismay of the clerk when
the mistake was discovered. But alrs
we'll that ends well. The day after the
mis- take occurred in came the custom
er with the $40 plate. She didn't like
the plate-didn't think it was quite
good enough. She wanted something
better. She was accommodated with
81 plate.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
What He Deserved.

Musicus-A friend of mine in Boston
has invented an improved kind of piano.
1t has such a magnificently powerful
tone that you can hear it mile away.
Cynicus-You don't say SO!
Musicus-Yes; it's grand thing.
The inventor ought to have a monu-
ment bigger than the great pyramid.
Cynicus- He ought; and he and his
piano ought to be buried under it at
once. - Yeno,oi1se's Nesos.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25
Cow Trees.

The cow tree, the sap of which
closely resembles milk. is a native of
South and Central America. 1t is a
species of evergreen and grows only
in mountainous regions. A hole bored
in the wood, or even wound made in
the bark of this remarkable tree, is
almost Immediately filled with a lact-
eal-like fluid. Alexander Won Hum
boldt was the first traveller to describe
this tree and bring it to the notice of
Europeans.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25

Austria has not only high school
of agriculture, but eighty-three Pri-
mary agricultural schools, besides
nine chairs of agriculture in other edu-
cational institutions.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-25

Two miners of Colorado had the good
fortune to discover $4,000 worth of
gold while prospecting, and later the
misfortune to be ''held up" near Salina
and robbed of the whole sum.