The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1891-11-07
COULDN'T MAKE A TRADE,
Thought He Had Him All Right. but 1t


rhought He Had Him All Right. but 1t
Didn't Work.
"How much do you ask for this basket
=, neaches?" said a man who entered a
South Water street orchard yesterday
afternoon.
"Only fifty cents" answered the horti-
culturist in charge.
"Onlv fifty cents?" echoed the caller.
GDo YOU call that cheap"
Eyes, sir, for peaches of that quality.
THEY'RE sweet, ripe, juicy and free from
brnises. You won't find better peach in
This market, and Pm betting money on
it."
"They are cheaper than that in Della
ware
"But this isn't Delaware, my friend.
Take a good look at those peaches. No;
Won needn't tear hole in the gauze.
Here's an opening in the side of the bas-
ket You can see for yourself They're
sound as a dollar, best freestones, good all
the way down, and If this wasn't a big
year for peaches that basket would cost
YOU dollar and quarter"
mo cheaper, reckon. if should take
half dozen baskets?"
~ might shade 'em for you little, but
IT'S lust as tell you. There isn't better
neach in the market anywhere today than
these and =
"Take forty-fve cents for this basket2"
"Well-yes, said the dealer after mo-
uent's hesitation. Butt
"Six Of EN- for 81 4O?"
"I oughtu't to come down a cent on 'em,
but if you want six I'll let you have 'em
"Nake it g. 40"
"Can't DO it."
1.-Two torty-fve then"
al right"
The caller whipped book out from IN
der his coat, opened it and began talking
rapidly:
Heres little work Pm introducing in
thispeighborhood It's called The House
keepers Friend 1t tells you how to get
M party, how to make a bed, fly kite,
get rid of cockroaches, cure warts, corns
and improving toenails, how to enter a
drawing room, paint on glass, mend crock
eryware, dress a chicken, cook al
hThunderationl What do l want OFF
Cook lobster, take care of a canary,
bring your children up to obey you, clean
spots out of carpets, how to tell mush
rooms from toadstools, what kind Of books
you ought to read"-
And Pm offering this book for exactly
Gas. It's worth SO of any mans money,
but I'm selling it at a low price to intro
duce it. At g. 45 it will just pay for these
peaches, and"-
II don't want 1t at all, STRIP
look it over; you'll find it's all claim
for it. What is a miserable half dozen
baskets Of peaches compared with a book
that shows you how to approach a COW
when you want to milk her. that gives
you directions about cultivating your
nind'-
Il tell you don't want your bOOkT
"Hey?"
full Of such books"
you wouldntE"
mo, sir"
'Whos asking you to give ten cents for
boxful Of themF ! came in here, sir, like
sman to negotiate trade with you You
have given me your lowest price for six
baskets Of peaches and Pve given you my
lowest cash price for book worth a
hundred baskets I have offered, sir, to
make an even trade And you refuser'
YES, and If you don't get out Of here''-
I'm going, sir!" said the caller in the
severe, digniied tone of man administer
Ing deserved reproof to an impudent
hired man. "A person, sir, who doesn't
care enough about learning how TO dress
properly, take care of pigeons, acquire an
easy grace Of manner, cook eggplant and
detect counterfeit money, and who doesn 7
believe II the grand principle Of reciproci
y IN commercial transactions is not
worthy Of the name Of an American citi
zen. That i all sirI Good afternoon ~
Chicago Tribune.