The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-08-01

THE FIRST POSITION OF A SOLDIER.
beauty. was finally informed that if
had any use for my clothes i could
put them on.
Am sound?" I asked.
By that time l was weary of soldier
life, and prayed inwardly that they
had discovered enough diseases about
me to start q clinic. Unlucliily, was
healthy.
was next given over into the tender
care of an orderly, who was instructed
to conduct me to the cadet barracks at
the other side of the square. AS we
started to cross the yard, he looked at
my glossy plug" and chuckled.
''If I'd "a been you, / wouldn't "a
worn that hat up here" he said, COM
miseratingly; that hats going to get
you into a heap of trouble"
1t did We had not proceeded a rod
before nearly every window of the
huge, three-sided barracks was filled
with bowling cadets, who had spotted it.
Take that thing away and drown it,
orderly"
"What kind of bate did you use?"
Don't want any! Come around next
week."
"Block and rum
sect on to the kid under the pipey!'
spa, please kin | wear high hate"
These were some of the salutations
that greeted me and l realized that l
was in for it. l shivered, but the or
derly never moved an eyclash. He was
accustomed to such pleasantries. He
led me upstairs to the second floor
front room. He tapped upon the door,
voice said: Come and he left me to
my fate.
want to say right here that I have
not exaggerated in the least, and that
am giving my actual experience for
the benefit of prospective cadets. II
they succeed in obtaining appoint.
ments, they will bear me out in my
statements.
"Why don't you come when you're
invited?" yelled half dozen voices in
chorus.
came. l found myself in a room
about twelve by fourteen feet in di-
mensions. 1t was occupied by six
young men i'll cadet fatigue uniform.
They were the cadet officers who took
tender care of the verdant plebe and in
stilled into his budding mind the first
principles of warriorship.
| had scarcely entered the room when
my hat was landed in one corner of the
room and my grip in another. Two OF
them caught hand apiece, jerked il
down the sides of my legs, jammed the
little finger of each hand along the
seams of my trousers, fattcning out the
palms full to the front.
Another grabbed me by the shoul-
ders, placed his knee in my back and
pulled me out straight until cracked.
Still another was busy dislocating my
chin, while the fifth was jerking my
feet into "V'' shape. The sixth was
driving Il tack into the wall at about
the height of my nose.
After they had gotten me fixed tc
their satisfaction, and so that l looked
as if was ready to be conveyed to the
chamber of horrors in the Eden Musee,
was informed that that was the first
position of a soldier Then pitied the
soldiers, although ] had never seen one
look like that. and | wondered what
the last position of soldier must be il
the first was as hard to do as that.
Compressed into this state of being.
| was marched over to the tack and
commanded to place my nose against
it and to move at my peril. Then, in
order to divert my attention from the
tack, so that they might be able to jerk
me out of the first position of soldier
and thus have more fun with me by
fixing me up all right again, they
hurled such questions as these at me:
What's you name"'
"Age?"
"How's your mother?"
'Got any dynamite in your grip?'
"Where'd you get that hat?'
"Where were you born?"
''Sorry or glad that you were born?'
Don't you think it was waste O.
material?"
Think you'll make a good soldier?
"Marlied?"
Elbow many children?'
How much is twice two?'
"Why?"
"How far is it from here to some
where else and back If you run botl
ways?"
''Arc you white or colored?"
Read aud written
''Pa alive"
What for?"
Grandma got any tecth?'
''How many?"
why didn't you count 'em?"
SIS she firt?"
"Fraid of nigger man in the dark?
Ever scalp Il wooden Indian"
How many fingers on each hand?
"How many thumbs?"
Both alike, amt they?"
''Any insane people in your famil.
except yourself?"
These and a hundred other entertain
ing questions were put to me. Although
] was all afire, | could not help bu
laugh at some of the conundrums
Whenever | did SO my nose was ham