Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-01-30

to appreciate better its mysterious ma
ture.
One evening, when he was smoking
one Of my cigars before my fire, he said:
II am getting very hard up; l must
raise some money"
said: "How will you do it?"
81 have method of my own" he an
swered, (which apply whenever l am
in need of ready cash."
What is it like"
He smiled with the smile of sphinx,
as he replied:
81 call it system Of ABSENCE"
On several occasions he made use of
phraseology similar to the above. For
example, once he said to me: 81 get a
good enough living out of not being in
certain places at certain times"
Further, he would not explain.
About this time his creditors, of
whom the crop seemed to be perennial,
began to press him close, and it was
evident that unless the ready cash
should presently come to his rescue, he
was lost-that is, lost in the same way
that he had been lost many times before
In the nick of time the money came,
hoewver, and he proceeded, with the skill
of a practical debtor, to make small
stream of cash irrigate vast area of cred
it, This being accomplished, he was at
ease again; and one night, over a bottle
of wine and cigars, he told me how he
had raised the money.
sit wasn't much" he said, carelessly
five or six hundred. ! manage to
raise that sum about four times a year.
If you understand how to make it go
good as twice that, you know. Now,
FL tell you. have, back East, num-
Der of relatives-rich, respected and all
that. Money comes from them. Easy
enough, you think? Well, wonder. |
am the black sheep of the outfit-scape-
grace, you know. And do you imagine
they would ever give up bean for me,
if did not come at 'em with some thing
worse than agun? Why, sir, the whole
bloody layout is so mean, and they hate
me So that, / give you my word, if
was roasting in the lowest depths Of
Sheol, there isn't one of 'em would loan
you fork to go and see if was done.
No sir! That's the kind of citizens they
are. But l notice they come up pretty
regular just the same"
He flicked the ashes from his high
priced cigar into the fire-plac,.. with az
impressive gesture. Then from his desk
he produced several letters and large
book labeled journal"
Here 1t is" he exclaimed, throwing
the book down on the table in front o.
me; Richard Kerth's Ready Letter
Writer, or the Art of Holding Up Oul
Relations And here are sample re
turns" he added, dropping the letter!
on the table. But you had better be
gin at my end of the transaction. Reat
in the book first--the last batch of let
tiers copied there. / always copy ZEN
so as to keep track of what I m doing.
l opened the volume at the plac,
where he indicated, and began to reat
aloud: "'Hiram Griffin, Cleveland, o.
My Dear Uncle"
"My mothers only brother" interpo
lated the scapegrace-"Presby terial
elder-hardware merohant--moral cit
izen.n
| read on:
40 suppose you will be devilish glad to lear
that have at last decided to turn my fac
homeward. I'm tired of wandering, and it
mighty poor picking out here expect to star
in a couple of weeks, unless hear from you il
the meantime, A lot OF California stock will
be entered at the fall meeting at Cleveland
and think can fix for both of US to get let i
on the ground floor, so that we can make goo
thing out of it. How are Bill and JIMMY"
civilian and James," said the blacl
sheep, rolling up his eyes; "his sons
whom he is bringing up in the way the.
should go-pious youths of sixteen o
, thereabouts."
"I expect they would enjoy the races an
, some of life that l could show them. Iplan t
spend month in Cleveland, and perhaps ma
locate there. Some Of the fellows are maxim
up party to go TO China. II had couple c
: hundred more would go with them, but hav
only Just enough to take me home. Your affel
tionate nephew, RICHARD"
Cold chills ran down his back whe
he read that letter." said Mr.. Kerth
|, 'Here is his reply, He prays for tn
, salvation of my soul, and incloses
check for two hundred. See? Rea
the next one"
1t was addressed to IS. Van Doosa
Kerth, The Beauchamp, NewYork City,
and began: Dear Uncle"
Fathers brother" the scapegrac
, explained; ''old bachelor-great swell
, He never saw me, and has an idea tina
, l am very wild and woolly, like ever
thing west of the Croton aqueduct"
q read as follows:
Z "'DEAR UNCLE-Respected brother of N
parent take my pen in hand to let you kno
that two weeks from date shall take the ira
: for your city and shall visit you at the Bea
/ champ House, where you are staying, If "
p should happen to be out Of town, will wa
Il, until you get back, for mean to live in yor
u city hereafter; hope to get q job there.
?! know you will help me, as your brothers so
n to get job. Perhaps Mr.. Beauchamp won
like a man to carry trunks. know you will
= glad to see me. II l could get into the groce
business here l would stay, and man kno
e of will take me in for two hundred dollar
Please look for me at the depot in the emigrar
/ cars Your nephew, RICHARD"
Imagine Uncle Van Doosan readir
O that epistle at his club" said the soap
= grace; II wonder it didn't give him
IS stroke of apoplexy. However, it WI
It not the first of its kind. He alwa,
:, comes up. don't have to whistle twi'
/. to him."
G The next was addressed to "Mr
If Elizabeth Pennington, Germantow
n Philadelphia"
4 Van Doosan's sister," said the soap
/, grace; they have quarreled and wor
r compare notes. She is a widow, with
IT fine income and an elegant place. Ty
id lovely manageable daughters"
The letter set forth the intend,
e. visit of Mr.. Richard Kerth TO the Ea
lie and his plan to spend some time at &c
IS mautown-at his auRt's residence,
is ushe wished it so; if not with sou
" frieLds of his there by the name