davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
GOT EVEN WITH CABBY.
Played on Drunk and Trounced Him IL
Fine Style.

Played on Drunk and Trounced Him IL
Fine Style.
He was drunk, awfully drunk, to al!
appearances howlingly, unsteadily
drunk and dressed up. He was attired
in the height of summer neglige fash
ion and seemingly not at all sure of his
feet, yet he had some method in his
madness, for he lurched around con-
s~picuously in the vicinage of a waiting
cab, and when the big policeman told
him to move on he moved toward the
cab.
Cab. sir?" said the driver. "Han-
som, sir? I'll take you safe home.
Just step in sir, step right in"
'You wait n moment Whazza fare
to Wash'ton boulvard and May street.
eh?"
"Seventy-ive cents, sir; step in"
mo t'ant. Fares err half-dollar. M
right, or am | wrong?"
"All right, sir. l amt busy tonight
Half a dollar goes"
"Al1 right, sir. Go ahead"
And the driver went ahead.
A gentleman who knew him saw him
half an hour afterward engaged in an
argument with the cabby at the corner
Of Washington boulevard and May
street, which at that hour was well
nigh deserted.
HE stepped out of the cab, the spec
tator said, land seemed to be the pos
SCISSOR of a ~gilt-edged jag. l stopped in
the shadow to listen to the argument"
"'Here's your. ~half-dollar, cabby.'
"'H~alf-dollar? Looky here! What are
yer given us? A dollar, / said
"rNo, shir; half-dollar's what you
said
Come off. now; ante up that other
half or I'll take it out of yer, see?'
yer can't do it. l m'z good er man
as you are any day. Half-dollar's all
you get
well, the cabby jumped down off
the box and started for my friend. As
he did all the indications of the jag left
him instantly. He braced himself, met
the extortioner with a smasher on the
jaw that sent him Keeling, and followed
it up with a couple of lightning punches
that sent cabby to grass in u heap.
Get up, you dirty swindler,' he
yelled. Get up and take some more
ont of me. I've been laying for you for
a month. Come on
But the cabby didn't come. He
jumped on his box, whipped up his
horse and fed. Then l approached and
found my friend in an ecstacy of merri-
ment. That fellow licked me once
when I had a little too much aboard
he said, and I've been laying to get
even for a month. He extorted a dol
lar the last time and BACKED both my
eyes because l vas too full to fight, but
! guess I'm even. The ride didn't cost
n CEN and l gave him a little more than
he gave me the other time.'"-Chicago
Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

stuff and should be of timber that will
not split easily. The seat may be
made of soft wood and should be two
inches thick. The two back legs
should be of tough timber and turned.
A shoulder is left at each place where
the board bears upon it A larger bit
is used for the lower hole so that the
| shoulder may be left at the top If a
lath is not handy, these legs may be
similar to the third. and securely fast
ened to the sides The third leg is
three-fourths of an inch thick by about
two inches wide, and is sunk into the
bottom board edgewise and sawed so
as to fit onto the under side of the seat,
where it is fastened.
The hoop for holding the pail is
made from green hickory sapling, bent
with the bark side in, and securely
nailed to the edge of the under board,
is followed out with a narrow saw to
about fit the size of the pail that is to
be used. The stool may be built any
desired height, but il much higher than
the ordinary stool, it will give better
satisfaction. The size of the hoop will
be a guide to the width The bottom
board should be six or eigh. inches
from the floor SO that it will keep tho
pail clean, which is one of the best
points of the stool. Until he has tried
it one cannot realize how much moro
comfort there Is in sitting on a stool
like this to milk. After a person has
been on his feet all day it is indeed
restful If your COW is unsteady and
you prefer to hold the pail, just turn
the hoop to ono side and you have q
good three-legged stool. This Is the
writer's own improvement aad there
u no patent on it-Ohio Farmer.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

many marginal notesin the handwriting
| of the donor.
The late Rev. R. W. Barbour, OF
| Bonskied, Pertshire, Scotland, has be.
| queathed $50, 900 to the foreign missions
of the Free church of Scotland, and a
like sum to the foreign missions of the
Presbyterian church of England.
The university of Vermont is ex-
pending $40. 900 in the erection of new
buildings for a state experiment sta
ton. There will be a creamery build
ing for a dairy school. a barn los by IS
feet. which will store 100 ton of hay,
and a silo that will hold 270 tons of
ensilagc.
"A. C. Melke, Of Lumberton, who
queathed about $50, 900 to the Baptist
institutions or causes. He left S25, 600
to Lake Forest college, SIS, 900 to estab-
lish a Baptist school in Lumberton, be-
sides a considerable amount to other
charitable objects.
There has arrived recently at the
Catholic university in Washington a
statue of Leo Mi. of the size known
to sculptors as semi-colossal, repre-
sentine the sovereign pontif as seated
upon the pontifical throne, vested in
cope, alb and rochet and wearing the
tiara, his left hand resting upon the
arm of the throne and his right hand
raised in benediction.
AT a Roman Catholic conference in
Wigan Father Power declared that
never since Elizabeth's reign had the
prospects of the Catholic church been
darker in England" In most parts OF
the country it was not only losing num-
bers relatively but absolutely. Liver
pool was the only diocese which showed
an increase of Catholics. and that was
not in proportion to the increase Of
population. Emigration to America,
apostacy and the aversion of the young
men to matrimony were the reasons
According to recent summaries the
total estimated circulation of religious
papers published in this country is
very near 1000, 900, which would init.
mate that the papers are seen by at
least two or three times that number OF
readers. The Roman Catholics head
the list with 127 papers, having about
$50, 900 circulation, but the Methodists
are close behind them with III papers.
having about eco, 600 circulation. OF
undenominational religious papers it is
reported that there are now thirty.
nine, with 265, 900 subscribers
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

rows. Inc way of handling, as thus
described by a well-known writer on
rural subjects-'the gardener 10Y gets
on mis- knees, straddling the row, and
gathering up all the stalks of one plant
after another, in his left hand, packs
the soil firmly around with his right, to
retain them in a compact and erect pos
ition"-seemed to be out of place in
our beds. so we tried string, by wind
ing once around zach plant and then
going on to the next, keeping the
string taut enough to hold the stalks in
place. This was a decided improvement
over the way of holding the stalks in
place by earth until the rest of the soil
was put in, but when it came to taking
the string off the soil would be tramped
around the plants and the leaves and
upper part of the stalks would be torn
off, and the time il took in removing it
made us almost want to go back TO
the / ami on: more.
In order to get such a string we had
to hunt all over the city Of Columbus.
1t seems to have gone out of use, but
we finally found what we wanted.
After getting it, we put it on several
thousand plants and hen waited 10 see
if any injury was done. When the
plants we're taken out for winter it
was found that very little injury was
done, and this happened by the careless
putting on of the string. The plants were
held in position by the string until a
rain came and settled the dirt around
the plant and we the string so that it
would give way to the growing plant.
Some of the plants we gave 4 second
banking before the string gave way
and let the plant spread.
have helped try agood many inven-
tons, but never had any that worked so
well from the start as this one did. We
invented a little device for putting the
string on. First we held the ball in our
hands, but this was very i~Iiconvenient.
So one day ] went into the shop and
took a tomato can and punched n hole
through the bottom of it, nailed it to a
stick, and then with a piece of panta-
loon suspender, with the buckles, fast
ened it to the right arm above the el-
bow, and at the wrist letting the string
run out at the bottom Of the can and
between the thumb and front finger.
With this one "a wind celery all day,
if his back does not get to aching too
bad. This is all the drawback ! have
found to it yet. l send a sketch which
will show how it works better than
can be done in words. This plan works
just as well with the plants in rows as
it does in beds, and does not take quite
as much string. The cost of the string
was only ten cents for n thousand
plants, when it is bought at pound
rates.-E. C. Green, in Ohio Farmer.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
WORTH

He learns to limp who liveth with the lame"
So in the Latin recently I read:
And who could maxim terser. truer frame
Than the soYud counsel thus Interpreted
lis the old truth expressed In striking
PHRASE.
That everrlore surrounding friends aud
facts
Do lower life, or else life higher raise;
That what one chooses on himself reacts.
So books we read do e'er the mind Affect
The pure or p~rurient in prose or verse;
The mind viii what Is given 1t reflect
As doth the mirror light received disperse.
Yea, and from trihing things We scarce do
see,
Or deem forgotten quite as soon as seen,
The soul impressions takes indclibly-
The cameras plate is not moro sure and
feen.
But further still. and more important far.
The influence Of a friend the life displays;
Men imitators OF their fellows are
From earliest youth TO manhood's latest
days
All. true the proverb is as quaint Its guise,
And well It would be did more heed we
give
To this odd sayin., witty yet most wise:
He learns to limp who with the lame doth
live"
Rev. Philip D. Strong. in Golde Days
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
THE FARMING WORLD.
BANKING up CELERY.

Results OF Experiments at the Ohio State
Agricultural Station.
The most laborious operation in the
raising Of celery comes in blanching
it Various devices have been invent
ed to lessen the labor, such as the use
of tile, paper. boards, and so forth,
but there are objections to all of these,
and one is the expense of using them
on a large scale. Sometimes, in a small
garden, they do nicely. Another OBJ
lection to such things is that when i:
comes cold, freezing weather, as it will
sometimes before the celery can be put
away for winter, with such slight cov-
ering, the plant will almost invariably
freeze, not only the tops but the stalks,
and then the injury is serious. And as
q rule. the celery will rust much more
with other covering than it will with
earth; SO whatever may be done in
special cases, we have to come back to
the banking up with earth for the
larger part o; the celery that is grown.
Now anything that will tend to
tighten this job will be received with
favor, I know. Here at the station. for
the past three years we have been rails
ing our celery in beds about four feet
wide, and the plants six inches by one
foot apart. This method, by the way,
possesses some advantages that are not
gained by the usual way of planting
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
NOVEL ORNAMENTS.
Ingenious Devices Displayed by the Jew

Ingenious Devices Displayed by the Jew.
elers.
A New York jeweler exhibits in his
window a large brooch of copper on
which is enameled a rural scene. 1t is
surrounded by a row of pearls.
Etched on the cover of a small sill
yer mirror to be worn on a chatelaine is
the inscription: my Best Friend
When the cover is pushed aside the
glass is revealed.
A brooch is in the form of Medusa's
head. The face is of moonstone and
the hair and the serpents intertwined
with it are of gold. The serpents' eyes
are very small diamonds.
A handsome scarf pin represents a
half blown rose and two or three leaves
on n branch. The stem and leaves
are of gold, and the partly seen petals
are in enamel of a delicate tint.
A gold hair-pin is ornamented with q
butterfly. the extended wings of which
are formed of large opals, each bor-
dered by a row of small diamonds. A
large diamond is set in the head.
Pins and brooches in the form of bow
knots are enameled to represent wa
tered silk. One brooch recently seen
showed one side of the ribbon finished
in this style and the other, where it
was exposed, was set with small pearls.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
roo MUCH SPANISH.
He Worked 1t Too Strong for One Ma
at Least,

He Worked 1t Too Strong for One Man
at Least.
He was a tall, broad-shouldered fell
low, with a long, heavy, black mus
tache and a sun-burned face. He wore
a broad brimmed felt hat and said he
came from the borderland between
Texas and Mexico. He looked it and
he acted it. His conversation wes
plentifully sprinkled with Spanish
words and his capacity for whisky was
something to make men marvel.
He had a free and easy way with
him, too, that was rather interesting,
and made the acquaintance of every
one he ran across. 1t seemed to be no
trick at all for him. He Just said:
"How are We, stranger?" and then told
a story.
So it happened that he introduced
himself to a little party n evening
and straightway retailed a few inter
esting facts about Texas. Then some
one asked him if he would have a
drink.
Isl" he responded with a courteous
wave Of the hand.
An interesting story OF Mexico FOL
lowed and then another man put the
same question.
ISL" was the response, with a gra-
cious nod of the head. for he was moth
ing If not polite.
Then came q tale Of Texas cowboys
and the invitation was again extend
ed and again accepted with the same
word.
1t happened two or three times more,
and then the able-bodied ~Chicagoan at
the head of the table who wasn't post
ed on Spanish grew weary of it He
was loaded for bear when he put the
question:
xviii you have something's"
Isl" came the expected reply.
"See!" he exclaimed. 'Of course /
see! I've seen you put six WHISTLES
under your belt and I'm tired of it.
The next time anyone invites you to
drink you say Northumberland. yes
or else one straight or something of
that sort, and not go around asking
people to see how quick you can get
one down, for you amt in it with
some people l know. See!"-Chicagc
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

In the treatment of moral delinquen.
cies, whether those of self or Of others,
it is the cause of the evil that we need
to discover and upon which our chief
attack should he made. In se~lf-culture
this is clearly essential. OF course. to
every one who is not hardened in evil
doing the consciousness Of having done
wrong will bring shame and distress.
II, however, he trusts to that alone for
future reformation, even accompanied
by sincere resolves, he has not probed
the matter to the bottom, and he may
go on shining and ~repenting until the
feeling of sorrow itself wears out by
fruitless repetition. But, if he sets him
self earnestly to find out the secret
springs Of his actions and to apply the
caustic remedy there, he has begun an
effective work that will bring q rich re-
~ard.-0ncc q Week.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

THE MEDICAL REFORM SOCIETY OF LONDON
will send genuine information free of charge
TO all who are bona fide sufferers from Chron'
ic Kidney and Liver Diseases, Diabetes OF
Bright's Disease, or any discharges or de
rangements of the human body, Dropsy,
Nervous Weakness, Exhausted Vitality,
Gravel, rheumatism, Sciatica, Dyspepsia
Loss of Memory, want of Brain Power. The
discovery is a new, cheap and sure cure, the
simplest remedy on earth, as found in the
Valley of the Nile, Egypt.
Send a self-addressed envelope at once en-.
closing ten cents in stamps to defray ex'
penses, to Secretary, James Holland, 8,
Bloomsbury Mansions, Bloomsbury Square,
London, England. Mention this paper.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

II tell you," said the soda water
clerk, this is mighty hard work. I'm
beginning to feel like that Teller who
kept rolling a stone up hill to have Il
tumble back again"
do you ean Sisyphua? asked thu
man who was putting mp prescription
"Yes," replied the soda water clerl
YEARLY, chats Il: siszy.tusA "-Dskoii
Free PrexA
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
A Wonderful Contrast.

Brevity may be the soul of witt but
the laughable effect is sometimes the
very thing the speaker doesn't mean.
In the following case a word or two
more would have made a clearer de.
scription, but it would not have been
half so funny.
The head-master of the girls high
school is describing to the class the
beau of the Alps, which he has visit
ed during his vacation, and ends his
lecture in these words:
And there, with one foot I stood on
the ice of the glacier, while with the
other I "a dlucking the most beauti'
full howers"-Youth's Companion.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

Bob Van Slyck called on a Madison
avenue family, in which there were
two old maiden sisters of about fifty
years of age. Van Slyek is an old
friend of the family, and n of them
being in q bantering mood said:
"Mr. Van Slyck, which of us do you
think is the oldest?"
Van was in a dilemma He did not
like to hurt the feelings of either. He
looked from one to the other, and
asked:
"You want me to say which Of you
two girls is the oldest?"
Eyes"
Neither Of you looks older than the
other. Each Of you girls looks young.
e. than the othsr.--Texas SittingS
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
TWO c HORSES.
One La Fond OF Ice and the Other Liz
tn ChAH Gum.

One La Fond of Ice and the Other Likes
to Chew Gum.
1t was late in the afternoon of a blaz-
ing hot day and in front of the Times
Office Several newspaper wagons
stood waiting for their evening load.
Attached to one Of these wagons was a
large, intelligent-looking gray horse,
and lowering round him, alternately
teasing and petting him, was a fine
specimen of the genus small boy.
Presently an ice-wagon, hurrying by,
jolted against the a tracks and a
piece of ice fell to the ground. The
boy ran after it, broke it in pieces
against the freplug. and began to eat
1t, the horse meanwhile rubbing its
head on his shoulder and begging for
something. What that something was
did not at first appear, for he refused
apples, candy and even gingersnaps,
and still continued coaxing. By and by
the boy, after several Intellectual at
tempts to satisfy the poor beast, offered
1t a piece of ice. This the horse
snatched greedily and began to chew
slowly, blinking his eyes and rolling it
from side of his mouth to the other
in the funniest name imaginable.
When the first lump was gone the
poor, thirsty horse begged for another.
and the boy began to tease him. He
would hold the coveted ice Just out of
reach of the horse, and the poor animal
would snatch at it, dog-fashion, and
when disappointed toss his head, stamp
his feet and in every way possible ex-
press his ~vexation. He acted. to use
the boys expression. lust like peo-
pie"
After awhile, however, success made
the boy ~overconfident, and the horse
not only got the ice, but gave the hand
which held it and tried to snatch it
away a sharp nip. After that he got
the ice steadily and was allowed to
eat it in peace. Suddenly there was
= stir in the crowd of newsboys wait
ing on the corner, and a minute later
they parted and flew in all direc-
tons, rending the air with Five
o'clock paypayr' The driver of the
horse in question carried out his load.
jumped into the wagon and shouted
to the horse to get up" but poor
nobb;n,s hear, v,s cot mon tb,t last
little niece Of ice which tbc HOY again
seized With n te,s;no Al yvos HOLDING
HIGH above his head and he did NOT
oct mn" no on;cLIv az bo might have
done. Instead. he Stood nerfectIv still
Iook;no at that olittarinr tamntina
piece of ice. and did not stir until re-
minded 10 do 90 NV a cut of the drivers
wbin. which made him start off at q
rand mace Rut as he darted away he
cav a -lono;no IooL n, .b. 10. q no
nroacbf,I one a. a. bov ord tbor.,
was IN
the ,vb;slr &o;9a5SEfzsS&i3 -
round the orrst
Sneaking o~fslnsxes n certain traSa,.
inc ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS in most n,rts
Of the CITY noss.sses , borse which
NON other accomplisbments cbevs
gum Whether II armed IN do 60 in
order tn while awav tbc ted;opsness ~
waiting for hours in front of one nIace
while its master mends the shoes of the
family or whether the ppm was nrov;ded
in the first Mace nv miscbievous bovs on
the lookout for finn. is a matter of 81 en-
:,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
MORE TRUTH THAN FICTION.

BEWARE of the man who feigns to be
amused when he is angry.-Atchison
Globe.
IT is surprising the amount Of trouble
a man will endure before 1t reaches
him.-Atchison Globe.
THE last one a man tells he Is max
ing money is his wife, but she is the
first one he tells when he is losing it
Atchison Globe.
A GOOD national flower for some of
the foreign gentlemen who reach this
country would be the marry-gold.-
Washington F1st.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

The poet informs, is westward. Emigrants
in that direction should be provided with
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as an antidote
to malaria, the bane to newly settled clear.
inGs. Moreover, the peerless terrifying
agent neutraliZes the pernicious effect OF
damp N exposure, mental and bodily ia.
tiGue and nervous straia. Travellers, tour.
lists, miners, navyieS and mariners use ii
with advantage.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

DoN'T use mercury and iodide of potash
for blood diseases. II your blood is bad DIR.
John Bulls Sarsaparilla will quickly re.
store it to a healthful condition. 1t is the
best vegetable blood purifier in the world,
and it never leaves any evil after effects.
1t is pleasant to take and exhilarating, yet
a discontinuance of its use will not cause a
craving for more.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

INvALIDs, aged people, nursing mothers,
overworked, wearied out fathers, will find
the happiest results from n judicious use of
DIR. Sherman's Prickly Ash Bitters. Where
the liver or kidneys are affected, prompt
action is necessary to change the tide to-
ward health, ere the disease becomes chron-
ic-possibly i%ncurable, and there is nothing
better to be found in the whole range of
materia medica. Sold everywhere.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
The Only One Ever P~rlnted-Can You Find
the Word:

There is a 8 inch display advertisement
in this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true Of each new one appearing each week,
from The DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places a "Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return You book, beautiful Autographs or
samples free.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

SHE Spoke Without Thinking.-"Do you
know, Miss Observation-Disclosures are
the first girl l nave ever kissed" "Oh,
that's just what they all say !"-Life.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03

"THIs circumstance adds weight to the
step / am about to take" remarked the con
Wet as he glanced down at his chain and
ball.-Baltimore American.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-10-03
At the Pantomime.

ma, DEAR" said a little girl at mat
inee the other afternoon. what does
this mean at the foot of my programme
p. 7. O.?'"
THAT, my darling" replied mamma,
means please turn over." ..
why, ] don't want to-" returnedthe
little miss. after apause, during which
the harlequin on the stage threw a
double somersault into q grocer's win
dow. 81 thought only the clowns could
do that"-Texas Siftings