Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-08-13
THE oRuMMER's STORY.
How He Got Even with His Friends i
the Parlor Car.

the Parlor Car.
A jolly drummer at the Hotel Nor
mandie RECALLED two or three friends
thusly recently while enjoying an after
dinner cigar:
l had a whole exposition coming in
| over the Grand Trunk last night. In the
smoker | discovered one of those little
faced men whoss features strengthen the
theory of evolution, and whose style of
wearing his struggling red beard inten-
slfied the faith in cocoanut throwing
ancestry.
couldn't help discovering him, for he
was bumped up in his seat and snoring
so loud that every other noise was
drowned, and you had to look out the
window to see whether the train was
running or resting on a side track. He
snored in and out, kept his nose and
mouth both busy, twitched, groaned,
grunted, wheezed, pulled, blowed, snort
ed and wound up every series of strange
sounds with a prolonged p-i-s-h, that
created an alarming impression that hot
steam was escaping in the car.
There We're lot of high headed, IN
seciable people in the parlor car who
hadn't taken kindly to my advances, and
l was inspired with a plan for revenge
| shook the little man up, and before he
could open up his walls of wrath, as he
was evidently bent on doing, l saidc
Here, my friend, you're not sleeping
comfortably. Come back here and I'll
fix you up"
III go You, sir" was the response,
and l took him, bushy hair, rumpled
clothes, wrinkled boots, bushwhacking
beard and all, right into the parlor car,
got him stretched out in two chairs, put
a footstool under his fiery head and told
him to go it. Three minutes after his
wonderful snoring machinery was in
active operation. The ladies elevated
their pretty noses and wondered how
| that horrld man ever got into their car.
was behind paper shaking as if in an
ague fit, but doing all my laughing in
! ternally.
why, that's too bad, doncher know.
Tll-ah-Tll just excuse the crethah,"
volunteered the littlest dude of the
party, and he started airily on his dan
gerous mission. He delicately nudged
the snorer with one finger and said: 'Ah,
| say, my deah sir, this is too much
Cahn't You change caws, my dean fel-
lah:" | gave my guest a sly but solid
| kick, and he came to with a snort that
made the d0de jump three feet back
ward and look wild. The red headed
man had caught the last request and let
GO
How the devil can | change 'caws'
when We're travelling mile minute?
You're talking the same sense as you
look. What right have you disturbing a
sleeping gentleman like that? Get ont
of this. you pipestem imitation, or I'll
throw you out the window"
BY this time the diminutive champion
was half the length of the car away and
white as a ghost, but he managed TO
stammer out:
But we're all so disturbed, my good
fellah."
We'll, sir: my little whiffet, don't
| you be trying to make your disturbance
| epidemic here. | am comfortable and
| you people are not in my crowd. I'm
| with this gentleman. Now keep away"
There's long run after the conductor
| first goes through out of London, and
| for over an hour ! reveled in my sur
| roundings. The little man snored as
| though snoring for revenge, the enemy
sat glazing in impotent rage, ostensibly
| read a paper, and when the conductor
came through it was only to intensity
| the fun.
Dollar; please" he said to the snorer.
I've paid my fare, sir, and first class
at that
But this Is a parlor car"
Then I'm looking in the parlor, am I?
Where's the sleeping apartment"
Here, have no time for fooiishness."
Then III not detain you. Good night,
sir"
The conductor was about to lunge
when l slipped him a dollar, he passed
on, the man only waited to say. 81 knew
| | could bluff that ticket puncher," and
then away to the land of Nod, only to
awaken when We reached the Brush
street depot got even, and when one
Of the ladies remarked for my hearing
that the specimen had picked up was
really better looking than |, l knew that
1t was only her head that talked. De
troit Free Press.