The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-06-26
sUNPLowER s1LHoUETTEs.

4
dicament and it cannot see its way out OF
| the difficulty.
| The new insurance commissioner may
be woolier man than his predecessor but
he will not be Wilder
Senator PETER ought to take rest now.
He has fully repudiated the old rumor
that his lungs are weak.
| People who are inclined to be sympa-
thetic will find that Sam Woods demise
| took place on very warm day.
| 1t will not be so hard for Sam Wood to
return to dust. He always showed de-
| cided preference for it when on earth.
Besides large acreage of popcorn, the
average Kansas farmer has other large
fields of corn which he regards as snaps. "
1t was the Troy Chief, of course, that
accuses Luther Challis with being too ia
miliar with ''the old-fashioned hired
girl"
From the kind of language and logic
they use. it must be great deal easier for
farmer to follow plow than some OF
the Alliance orators.
The way the pumpkins are growing it
seems that most of the main entrances to
the fair grounds in Kansas will have to be
enlarged this year.
Jerry Simpson complains that he has
too much on his hands. 1t was only year
ago that he growled because he didn't
have enough on his feet.
Mrs. Edmund Russell, the Delsartian,
has good news for Alliance audiences She
has written book on "Yawns." She
says none of US yawn enough.
Sol Miller thinks that the poorest ex-
cuse for man is the fellow who gets up
table etiquette and designates at what
meals it is improper to eat pie.
George Anthony and PETER will discuss
silver at the Ottawa Chautauqua today.
Mr.. Anthony's friends are not at all solic-
itous in regard to the result of the debate.
A life insurance company has notified
ex-senator ingalls, that they have cancelled
his policy. One of their agents happened
to pass by his farm the other day and saw
him using scythe.
One Wichita man kicked another last
week. and at the same time called him a
jackass, and the fellow was SO Inundated
that he applied to the Society for the Pre-
yention of Cruelty to Animals.
If Senator Plumb will take a trip out
into the country, he will discover that
there are any number of caucuses being
held on the shady side of hay-stacks to
beat him at the next election.
When a Wichita picnicking party
rounded up at the grove the other day, it
was found that every single person had
thought to bring an umbrella, but all the
lunch baskets had been left behind.
''P. p Elder is false" said an Alliance
man excitedly yesterday, 'he is false. and
am not afraid to say it to his teeth"
''True," chimed in dapper little dentist
standing near, Il furnished him with the
upper set myself"
When one of the wives Of the new ALI
ance congressman was in Topeka lately
she used an elevator for the first time She
paralyzed her husband, however, by ask
ing him if, when it went down, it were
known as loweryator.
An Englishman who had travelled half
way around the world reached Kansas
City the other night and got tangled up in
Santa Fe timetable, and has
been trying to locate himself ever since
1t is a serious matter to fall in with the
average time table when you are travel
ing.
Mrs. Lease sometimes takes her young
baby along with her on her lecturing
tours. She has unique way of keeping
him still. She daubs both his hands all
over with molasses and then gives him
feather. He will spend hours and hours
soberly picking the feather off one hand,
then picking it off the other, while his
mother is hopping up the universe with
the Republican party.
An amusing story is told of how Mrs
wife of the governor of Ohio.
expressed a wish the other evening
to ride with the next governor of
Ohio. Her husband suggested that she
drive with him down TO the hotel and
there take in Major Mckinley, the other
candidate. In that way she was sure to
ride with the next governor of Ohio. If
wanted to ride with the next gov
ernor of Kansas under similar circumstan-
ces she would have to hire an omnibus.