The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-04-20
WIT AND WISDOM .

u:8!1!l y
LEs..s..zsz ~
"why, 1 thought you took the Job to cut this
wood, Jocko?"
"Dat's all right, sar. Use let de job to de white
man."
"oh, that's III How much do you pay him9"
Sp Ran a %Scs g SG Tea sGa
"a dollah a cod, sar."
THAT Is singular arrangement. You do not
seem to be making much out of this job"
SWELL has de fun OBJ bossin' de white man."
Rheumatism and Catarrh, caused by poor and
corrupted blood, cured by Ayers sarsaparilla.
Stern Advice.
sis he really your rival?"
''Yes."
"Great Scott! II had a rival that looked like
that DO you know what would do?"
"pd give up the girl."-Harper's Bazaar.
Loaded.with impurities, your blood needs cleans
ing with Ayers sarsaparilla.
An InfallIble Sign.
"I can always tell when Jimmieboy has finished
his pudding" said Uncle George.
"How?D asked the boys mother
There isn't any left on his plate. "-Harper's
Young People.
NeighDor, see you not the signal
In that loved ones cheek?
Heed you not that constant hacking,
Where the form grows weak?
o, delay not, or this dear one
Soon deaths own will be.
You can save her by the use of
Pierce's G. M. d.
In other words, get the "Golden Medical Dis
covery," and rescue this member of your family
from consumption, which threatens her. 1t has
saved thousands. According to the doctors it
has wrought miracles, for it has cured those
whom they pronounced incurable, except by a
miracle. 1t is truly wonderful remedy. For all
bronchial, throat and lung diseases, weak lungs
splitting of blood and kindred ailments, it is a
sovereign remedy.
1t Came High.
Wooden-Do you know Mr.. McAlllster High
flyer?
Bulhnch-well, yes.
Wooden-Don't you value his acquaintance
BuIdnch-well, yes; / should think might.
It's cost me about s2,o00.-Boston Courier.
Ely's Cream Balm is worth it's weight in gold
as a cure for catarrh. One bottle cured mes
A. Lowell, Franklin, Pa.
OH JOYOUS FRUIT!
The chestnut, hickory butternut,
The walnut and the beech,
Are products Of New England soil.
And very toothsome each:
But obi the doughnut, most Of all,
Shall deyoutly prize,
TIL can read my title clear
To mansions In the skies.
Eugene Field in Chicago News.
Have no equal as a prompt and positive
cure for sick headache, biliousness constipation.
pain in the side and all liver troubles. Carter's
Little Liver Pills. Try them
Customer-where is the proprietor this morn
ingP
Mr.. snow-Pse de proprietor OBJ dis barbar shop
now, sab. De odder gentleman done got slashed
wifi razzah at de polkah party las night, and is
in de hospital, sah
Customer-Got sla shed with razor?
Mr.. Snow-Yes, sab. You see he had five Jacks
Customer-But there are no five jacks in the
pack,
wa'ant in de pack; dey was in his ham. DaIs
what caused de trouble.-New York Press.
Must not be COMPOUNDED with common
cathartc or purgative pills. Carters Little Liver
Pills are entirely unlike them in every respect.
One trial will prove their superiority.
Girls and the Military.
"If wasn't GIRL" said she, al think I'd like
TO be lieutenant Of huzzars"
"Why that is unnecessary, fraulein." replIed
the young soldier calamity, you're sufficiently
Irresistible as 1t s.- From the German.
Instant relief for Group, by using Johnson's
Anodyne Liniment internal as well as external.
A Chance for Trade.
Mr.. Simpson (making an afternoon cal)-Now
jamie, what will you sell your little baby brother
for?
Jamie with unexpected alaerity)-Whatn you
giye?-New York Recorder.
The bald and gray will find sure remedy in
Halls Hair Remover.
He-And your father refuses to forgive us?
She-He does.
ENTHUSIASTICALLY can hardly call yourself
his favorite daughter now
She with spirit)-I was his favorte.
ne (rather more sarcastically)- looks like it.
she Ssobbng)-He says he could have for-for
h h. me II had married anybody but thatthat
i"''eu lulot.-New York Press
Battle freely with Johnson's Anodyne Liniment.
'nen rup nara night and morning, for pleurisy.