Omaha daily bee., 1891-01-18
PEPPERMINT DROPS.
chest protector-The paddock.
: hill nrn1, a ~ ord hon. filnnrn ~

A chest protector-The paddock.
"Shall you attend her funeral!'
'Inuocence,' returned the ID. d. blandly.
dead stuck on it''-The fly on the point of
pin.
''She said she would as soon be dead as out
of the fashion"
'Yes, understand he was always stuck
on himself"
The sober second thought usually comes
after the banquet.
The good who die young have great deal
to be thankful for
Even the dizzy waltz it is love that makes
the whirled 60 round.
An Arab who has lost his teeth probably
speaks only gum Arabic.
"In what class of scents does the odor Of
sanctity belong, doctors"
''Bibbins is a man who has been singu-
larly unfortunate in love-"
Let man lead crooked life long enough
and he will soon be in straits.
Fire is said to be good servant. but it is
apt to go out nights all tho same
Better dinner of herbs, if you like them,
than a stalled OK, If you hate beef.
No, Friederke, though you do murder the
German language, YOU are no germicide.
Only a wooden-headed man will wear a box
coat when he can't afford to pay his board
Most men think they could succeed better
in what they like to do than in what they
have to do.
Politican-I cannot tell a lie. Constituent
Well can; and can spot cm all through
your speeches.
Every good deed is n ticket on the lottery
of heaven and every holder will be present at
the drawing.
On being asked what a nephew is, little
Boston school girl replied: "lt is when your
niece is a boy.'
III
neighbor's dogs when he lays awake at night
to think about 1T.
The Il gown is now cut with Vneck and
other alph abetical changes will probable be
made from time to time.
Country man Gn show)-Say, Tommy, what
sort of curiosity be yous t'reak-rm the
boy what never whistles.
When the mercury monkeys with zero II
is coaled day for the stove and ache holder
one for the man who handles ice.
If woman was as bad shot when throw,
ing her eyes as when throwing stone, there
would be more happy men in the world.
The most bashful girl ever heard of was
the young lady who blushed when she was
asked If she had not been courting sleep
asked my friend, Verplanckson, for v,
He said ''Ha! ha! u later will c."
That night we met we took adown our Qs,
And now have the V in l o Us.
His ante went across the board,
His pile was small; it could not last
He saw it leave his little hoard,
A sad remembrance Of the passed.
The colonel left the lovely miss
He'd called that eve to see
And as he went she cried, "Please kiss
|. The regiment for me-"
Victor Hugo christen the present "The
age of woman" The fact, however, that il
| is eighteen hundred and ninety-ene puts the
remark beyond the reasonable limits of even
ballet-girl joke.
Butcher, who has been rejoici ng by the
birth of a son, IS informed that the chile
weighs nearly eight pounds. He takes hiu
in his arms to feel his weight, and calls ou
astonished: "By Jove, so he does p' then,
after moments pause, adds, "but with th'
bones, mind YOU"
Wife-Do you remember ten years ago yol
| promised me when you had made $500, 900 yo,
would retire from businessl Now that yol
| have il (sobbing), why DO you 20 oni
HusbaDd-That's just like you. You ar
never satisfied