The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-12-12
CORWIN, THE ORATOR.
How He Retired a Man to Private
Life by q Humorous Speech.
A Congressman Who Combined tho oua,.
ities of Statesman with Those or
Professional Burnt-Cork
Performer.

wynn says that had the great tallScr
never risen to the Hottest heights of or.
atory, and thus had listening senates
at his heels" Tom Corwin would hive
at times discounted any end man that
ever handled the bones The very s;uht
OF Corwin in action on the stump nro-
voked lneNtinguishable laughter when
the great orator chose to touch tbe
humorous side of any subject In poll
ties and on hustings he was simply ire
sistiblc.
Hon. Isaac Z. Crazy, member from
Michigan, undertook to ridiculc William
Henry Harrison and the battle of Tippe.
canoe, fought in 1911, and Gen. Crarv.
rather ''pompiously," us the neproes
say, described himself as n militia
gentleman on peace establishment"
Inns speech OF Crary's was delivered in
April, 1910, and Corwin rose to reply.
His speech was entirely extcmporane.
Gus. He said:
we all in fancy now see the gentle
man from Michigan in that most dan
gerous and glorious event in the life of
militia general on the peace establish
ment, n parade day, the day for which
all the other days of his life seem to
have been made. We can see the troops
In motion, umbrellas, hoe and ax-
handles, and other like deadly imple-
ments of war, overshadowinr all the
field, when 10! the leader of the host
approaches.
Far OF his coming shines:
His plume white, after the fashion OF
the great Bombar, is of ample length
and made its dolcful history in the be-
reaved neck and bosoms of ncighboring
hen-roosts.
Like the great Suwarrow he seems
somewhat careless in forms and points
OF dress, hence his cpaulettes may be on
his shoulder, back, or side, but still
cleaning, gloriously cleaning in the
sun. Mounted he is, too, let it not he
forgotten.
Need describe to the colonies and
generals of this honorable house the
steed which heroes bcstridc on such oc.
casions? No. | sec the memory of
other days is with you. You see before
you the gentleman from Michigan
mounted on his crop-eared, bushy-tailed
marc, the singular obliquities of whose
hinder limbs are described by that most
expressive phrase: ''siclllc hams'-hcr
height just fourteen hands, all told
Yes, sir! Then you see his 'steed that
laughs at the shaking of the spcar;' that
is his war horse whose neck is clothed
with thunder
Mr.. Speaker, we have glowing de-
.scriptions in history of Alexander the
Great and his horse, Bucephalas, Mt the
head of the invinciblc Macedonian pba.
lanX; but, sir, such are the improve
nj a..
must sec that our militia general, with
his crop-eared mare with bushy tail and
sickle ham, would literally brighten
Off the battlefield hundred Alexan-
ders. But, sir, to the history of the
parade day.
"The general, thus mounted and
equipped, is in the field ready for ac-
ton. On the eve of some desperate
enterprise, such as giving the order to
shoulder arms it may be, there occurs a
crisis, one OF the accidents OF war which
no sagacity could foresee to prevent. A
cloud rises and passes over the sun.
Here an occasion occurs for n display of
that greatest of all traits in the char
acter of commander, that tact which
enables him to seize upon and turn to
good account events unlocked for as
they arise. Now for the caution wrere-
with the Roman Fabius foilcd the sn1ll
and courage of Hannibal
"a retreat is ordered and troops and
general in twinkling are found safely
bivouaclIed in Il ncighboring grocery.
But even here the general still has
room for the exhibition OF heroic d,.c.ls.
Hot from the field and chafed with the
nntOIVDr1 Of
eral unshcaths his trcnchant blade.
eighteen inches in length, as you will
remember, and with an energy and re-
noTseless fury lie slices the watcrmel-
ons that lie in heaps around him and
shares them with his surveying friends
Other sinews of war are not wanting
here. Whisky, MIR. Speaker, that great
leveler of modern times, is here also.
and the shells of the watermelons are
filled TO the brim. Hcrcsagain, Mr.
Speaker, is shown how the extremes of
barbarism and civilization meet. AS
the Scandinavian heroes of cid, after
the fatiSucs of battle, drank wine from
the Skulls of their slaughtered enemies
In odin's halls, SO now our militia gen
cral and his forces from the skulls of
melons thus vanquished in copious
draughts of whisky assuagc the heroic
fire of their souls after the bloody
scenes of II parade day.
but alas for this short-livcd race of
ours. All things will have nm end, and
SO even is it with the glorious achieve
ments OF our militia general. Time is
on the winssand will not stay his fight;
the sun, as if frightened ut the many
events of the day, rides down the slsy
and at the close of the day when ham
let is STILL the curtain of the night