Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1891-07-21
MlaCELLANEOuS.

--"YOur son has been graduated?"
ayes" "Now the question is, will he
be able. to make his knowledge useful,
to impart it to. others?" Il guess So
He has begun to impart it to me. IN.
Y. Press
II believe you are carpenter" she
said to the new boarder. Il am" he
replied meelzly."Well, she continued,
''then suppose you can be trusted to
plank down your board money. st
Paul Globe.
Sensational News. - Smiley - Did
you hear of the great movement in real
estate yesterday2" Riley--"No-what
was it?' Smiley - 1.-The earth made
complete revolution upon its axis" -
Saturday Evening Herald.
Owner of fish pond Ito man who
is trespassing) - Don't you see that
sign, No Fishing Here?'" Angler
with an injured air)-"Yes, and 1 dis
pute it. Why, there's good fishing here.
Look at this basket"
AT fire in Georgia recently, there
being no water at hand, some little col
ored boys pelted it with watermelons
which were growing in a neighboring
field, and the melons bursting, soon
quenched the flames.
In Tacua, Chill, there is an old resi-
dent who has recently discovered that
he must be ISL years old. The other
day he found a document, which he
stated he signed when he was nine
years old, as the date of it is April, 1749.
Perhaps his long life may be to some
extent due to the fact that he has only
just learned how to lie.
"A lady living in Torrington, Conn,
- LII
buried half an inch in one of the wooden
posts of the veranda of her house and
quite dead The little thing had evil
IDENTITY darted at flower close by and
struck the post with such velocity that it
could not get away.-Hartford Courant
Blacksmith Ripper, of Iglau, Mo-
ravia, had attempted suicide several
times and had been interfered with; so
he constructed box like a clock case,
seven feet high, the door of which could
be fastened with paddock inside Then
he put strong hook in the top board,
entered, locked the door, and comforta-
bly, hanged himself inside. He is dead.
Here are some of the themes which
the college girls discuss in their de-
batting societies: THAT the influence
of fashion is morally, intellectually,
ried by four THAT it is well for people
to cultivate a good opinion of them
selves" Carried by 80. That in order
to think more, we should read less"
Lost by "a,
AT a recent wedding in Pennsyl-
vania town, to the clergyman's solemn
question, "Dost thou take this man to
be thy lawful welded husband?" the
1D,,tI Id
God helping me, do The minister
looked grave and the groom cast sheep
ish glances, while several of the guests
smiled. The bride got the marriage
and baptismal ceremonies mixed
An Efficacious Remedy.-A woman
in Iowa went to a physician to get
prescription for tender feet. He gave
her mixture containing two quarts of
cold water, one tablespoonful of bay
rum and two .tablespsonfuls of am
monia. He did not tell her how to
apply it, and she drank the mixture in
six doses. She says her feet haven't
felt tired since.-Detroit Free Press.
The perch in California streams are
being destroyed by the catfish-that is
to say, the perch work their own ruin
by attempting to swallow the catfish.
The 'cat" has two spikes or horns pro-
jecting from the sides of his head, and
when caught by the perch these spikes
catch in the 1atter's throat. He can
neither swallow nor eject the catfish
and is starved to death.
"A prominent official of the Reading
railroad addressed a porter on the train
as John" The latter said 81 beg yo'
pawdon, sab, but on this cyah, sab, it is
etiquet to call me 'potah,' and that
title, sab, will answer to. You have
not an acquaintance with me, sab, that
warrants you calling me by my Chris
tian name, sab, although if you really
wish to know my name-which is not
John, sah-I will be happy to give you
my cahd, sab" The official was over
come.
I'm Philadelphia there has been
found lady of one hundred and four
teen, still in very good health" 1.-THE
reason why I am here now" she ex-
planned, sis because l never worried
about anything in my life. If didn't
have anything" ii. e., get what she
wanted), II didn't worry about it, and
I've never had even a headache" this
last being the more remarkable, since
| OF late years she has taken, and very
kindly, to milk punch. Let the doctors,
and the vegetarians, and the total alb
stainers, and the anti-everythingarian
say what they will, that is the true
secret of health and longevity-not to
worry nor be worried 1t is not neces-
sary to be indifferent, but only not to
fret.
Benefits of Abstemiousness.
An old man who enjoyed remarka-