River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-01-15
HIS TAIL FAILED HIM.
The Ingenious Way i'm which a Sailor Got
Rid of "A Troublesome Monkey.

Rid of "a Troublesome Monkey.
A naval officer recently told story of
Captain Schley. the commander of the
crack cruiser Baltimore, the officer who
led the attack upon the forts at Corea
when we had trouble with that coun-
try, and the man who so brilliantly con-
Quoted the Greedy relief expedition.
The first Japanese Embassy that came
to this country was sent home in the
United States frigate Niagara. This
country, being DESTROYS of opening up
trade with Japan, paid every attention
to the members of the embassy while
they were here, and the splendid
Niagara was especially fitted out
to take them home. Temporary
quarters We're fitted up suDptuously
for them aft on the spar deck. They
were given to understand that the ship
and her officers and crew were at their
command. The voyage was pleasant,
and all was well until Cape Town was
left. A stop of several days was made
there. When the Niagara hove up her
! anchor and resumed her voyage there
was an additional member of the en-
bassy contingent. He was tame
baboon. and had been bought by one of
the chiefest of the japanese passengers.
He was an ''amoosin' cuss" withal. but
very free and uncleanly in his habits.
He took liberties with the quarter deck
that brought upon his head many an
anathema from the officers of the ship
and her crew; for there is one thing that
every one on board man-of-war takes
particular pride in. and that is in having
his floating home as clean as ever was
the kitchen of a thrifty housewife.
Captain Schley was then a midship-
man and was on the Niagara. He was
about sixteen years of age. high-hearted
and very pranlxsome. He chafed so
much under the restraint of man-of-war
discipline and so often broke out of
bounds that it was freely predicted that,
while his career in the service might be
a very breezy and exhilarating one. it
would also be brief One bright morn
ing the Niagara was heeling along in
the Indian ocean with favorable thir-
teen-knot breeze bellying her sails and
singing through her rigging. The decks
had been washed down and had dried.
They were as spotless as bridal linen.
Midshipman Schley was one of the
watch on deck. There came from the
embassy quarters the diplomatic bah
Don. lie offended as he had so often
| offended before. Schley could not
stand it. He stood by a slush bucket on
the lee slide. He called the simian to
him, and caressed him with his hand.
He then took handful of oakum, and
dipping it into the liquid grease in the
bucket made the baboon's tail thor
oughly lubricous.
There was something in Schley's eye
which showed that ne was working a
scheme of revenge and destruction.
With a ropes end he gave the baboon
three or four smart blows. The ugly
brute Immediately took to the rigging,
amid which he had so often sported be-
fore. Schley followed him for a few
feet. The baboon reached the height of
the main yard, to which &c sprung. He
ran nimbly out to the yard arm, and
then made the mistake of his life.
Wrapping his tail around the foot rope
he swung head downward. with moth
ing below him but blue water But the
prehensile function of his tail had been
destroyed by the lubricating that
Schley had given it. As a consequence
the brute, with a wild yell, plunged
into the ocean and was seen no more.
Schley's excuse to the Captain of the
ship for what he had done was that he
could not have prevented the disagreed
BILE passenger from committing suicide
even if he had had orders to that effect.
With a stern face and a twinkling eye
the Captain told the lad to go and sin no
more.-N. Y. Sun.