Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-04-05
TALES FROM ARK KANSAS.

Bills of Fare Are Not Always What They
seem-wealth in the Mortar and Pestle
Mules and Rapid Transit-Faets About
Church Debts.
There was antelope on our bill Of fare yester-
day at dinner. A Minneapolis man who sat
next to me smiled when he saw the antelope.
Some weeks ago." he said, "when 1 was
travelling on the c., M. & St. Paul Railroad 1
chanced to take dinner with the Superintend-
enr of the dining car service. He Is an old
friend of mine. As soon as we were seated In
the dining car and the waiter had handed US
the bill of fare 1 noticed the Superintendent's
face grow cloudy. He called the steward to
him and addressed him with: You're over
dong it, aren't you? Here you have mountain
sheep, venison, antelope and bear on this bill
of fare-surely, there's no call for four wild
meats at one neal and there can't be any
money in such extravagant catering Tor this
COMPANY
"'WelI SIR replied the steward, it isn't so
bad as it looks. You see we've an overstock of
mutton and we're working it OF the best way
we'can.'"
The Drug Business Pays
A drugstore pays better than a saloon in Hot
Springs. The water of the Springs contains
about score of more or less potent drugs. ac-
cording to the analysis printed in the guide
other springs supplement the supply of medi-
cine with such things as sulphur and potash
and iron in all sorts of mixtures. Yet the drug
stores do splendid business. The doctors sell
dom allow patient to take the waters without
fortifcation of some kind in the shape of pill,
powder or potion. And the druggist has to NIL
the prescriptions of course.
You may be sure he knows how to make out
his bill, too, and he has SO much practice that
he is expert to a wonderful degree. You can
pay as much here for three or four ounces of
water and pennyWeight of drugs as anywhere
else on this globe. After you have been here
week or two it will cease TO surprise you that
every rich man in this region at some time or
other has been in the drug business. With you
it is common to rate a man as rich if he is con-
nected with the Standard Oil Company, for in
stance. but here it means far more If it be said
that so-and-sO has drug store.
Humorous Rapid Transit.
As have remarked ere this. rapid transit In
the South is humorous all the time. Time
being of no earthly importance in this latitude,
the joke is always cheap and agreeable. Yes
terday having no thought of anything beyond
ride in the sunshine, boarded one of the
open cars which are now running through the
town. At the next corner the car stopped, and
remained at standstill long enough for the
little mules to go to sleep. was sitting just
behind the driver, and thinking perhaps that
some.rule of the road entailed long wait at
this point, which was outside the town proper,
and asked him if he intended to start again
soon.
wal, L dunno, suh," he replied politely.
heah kyar-but can't tell how long it'll take
her to get heah," and he pointed up road at
right angles to the track leading to three or
four cottages perched on hill quarter OF
mile away. Half way between us and the cot
tages an old lady was walking toward us. She
did not seem to be in hurry; neither did she
wave her hands franticaly or scream as
rAnr1I has md I'M
liar circumstances. She took her time. and the
driver of the street car recognized her sacred
right to go slow. When she had taken her
seat, he unwound the brake in a leisurely way,
woke the mules and we went on
Stopped for Pop Corn.
Still further South at Dallas Tex, the other
day, some friends of mine were riding on a
street car when lady in the party saw some
pop corn on the sidewalk.
"Oh! what lovely pop corn" she said, II wish
had somer'
81 suppose you'd like me to stop the car and
get some for you," was her husbands ironical
remark. The driver of the car overheard ir
and stopped the car at once and said he'd wait
while the popcorn was bought for the lady.
This act of courtesy astounded the Northern
ers
They Go to Church, Too.
Nobody has ever accused Hot Springs of be-
ing too godly, but there is no lack Of churches.
Every denomination Of any importance has its
place of worship. The most pretentious church
and presume the most prosperous belongs to
the Episcopalians. 1t is q handsome building
of brick, finished in oak within. The incum-
bent, the Rev. Mr. Miller, is evidently high
churchman, and to his and the congregations
credit it must be said that the altar and
chancel filed with great Easter and Gala lilies,
looked very beautiful on Easter Sunday morn
ing. however questionable the authority for
placing triple-pointed crown outlined with
small gas lets in the center of the reredos may
have appeared to some Episcopalians in the
church on that occasion. The church was
crowded with fashionable visitors, and the cos
tunes of the ladies showed that even in this
health resort the Easter bonnet blooms fire.
quently.
Before the collection was taken up the priest
announced that there was $4,000 debt on the
church which he hoped would be materially
reduced by that mornings offerings. don't
know how much was collected. but should
say a large sum. As we were returning from
church a gentleman who has visited the Springs
every year for a decade past remarked to me:
at is a singular fact that church debts
down here are most obstinate things.
Last year went to this very church on Easter
Sunday and the debt was stated to be 200,
to which we were invited to contribute liber-
ally And we did, for 81, 200 was collected.
But the 81, 900 debt bobs up all serene again
this year"
Bound to Get Eight Dollars.
The colored population mostly attend the
Methodist church, the pastor of which is a
very able man of their own race. On recent
Sunday three or four white folks from one of
the hotels attended this church and enjoyed
the heartiness of the worship very much. The
collection amused them greatly. The pastor
that the sum needed was S. and
that everybody was expected to contribute
something.
"To avoid disconmodin' any pusson," be con-
tinued, "who amt got change, the congrega-
ton will pass up and leave their offerin's with
Br'er Smith, who will furnish change as de-
sired"
So everybody, but the little band of whites at
the back of the church, stepped up and settled
with Br'er Smith. Then the preacher said !:
IF there's any people too bashful to come up
heah, Pse not too proud to go to dem," and ac-
cordingly he trotted down and gathered in the
ducats of the Caucasians. The counting OF the
money took some time, and when 1t was con-
cluded the preacher announced that VI 10 was |
still lacking of the desired SUMS
',Br'er Smith will now pass aroun' der basket. |
while we sing dat beautiful hymn, 'Hark! Hear |
Dat Angel Sing"
So the basket went around and the white |
peopIe alone gave 81 more. The preacher again |
announced the result, and, strange to say, he |
insisted that the sum now lacking was " p. |
Again the basket went around, and this time |
the preacher was satisfied. |
The way the preachers arithmetic is ex- |
plalned by the African arstocrat who waits |
at our table is that in ''our church, sub, dey |
allus mus hab even money-and dats howF |
HEPBURN JOHNS.
Hot SPRINGS. ARK, April 3.