Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-03-07
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Some Reflections Suggested by Recent Ban.
| quets In Washington.
A NATIONAL LEAGUE OF AnALeAxATxD ArrEa.
DINNER sPEAxERs SUGGESTED THAT coUIr
FURNISH STEAMERS AT A MODERATE COST FOB
ALL PUBLIC DINNERS.
Nov Is THE TINE FOR PUBLIC BAN.
| ~ Duets, and Washington has come to the
front recently with goodly number of them.
They are glorious things sometimes. not only
because of the fine things that are there to eat
and drink, but because of the rich. mellow elo-
quence that follows the desert. modest man
who would quake in his shoes if he had to
make speech under ordinary circumstances
finds by the time he has tucked away q fair
| quantity Of white wine, red wine, sherry and
champagne that he is gifted with very consid-
cradle powers Of talk The difficulty is not to
make him speak, but to make him stop speak
| ing.
Gentlemen" said wise old gentleman at
banquet recently given in this city, gentle
men, the toastmaster never told me that was
to speak ct this dinner until this morning, and
submit that one day is too short time to pre-
pare good impromptu speech"
| Nevertheless, he spoke for fully twenty min
having been prepared beforehand. Impromptu
speeches generally are prepared beforehand,
however. although some men are so clever at
| concealing the fact that nobody catches on. ~
| When speaker begins this way:
when L accepted the invitation to attend
this dinner tonight it was with the distinct I'M
Outstanding that l should not be called upon TO
| make a speech. and was thoroughly surprised
and very much embarrassed at being told two
minutes ago that was expected to make a few
| REMARKS
| THE INPRoMPTU SPEAKER IS PRIMED.
When man begins that way, look out He
has been preparing his speech for a week, and
he isn't going to spare anybody. As he pro
crosses and gets warmed I'D to his work and az
the minutes slip by it is pleasant to look around
the table and observe several individuals who
| do not participate enthusiastically in the
applause. They laugh at the jokes absent
mindedly. They have preoccupied, troubled
| look These are the other gentlemen who
| expect to be called on themselves, but are
afraid that the man who is speaking will never
| leave off.
There is National Spellbinders' Association,
composed of political stump speakers, and
there is no reason why there should not be
organized National League of Amalgamated
After-dinner Speakers. Agood president would
be found in Mr.. Chauncey NJ. Depew, and Mr..
Evarts would do credit to the Office Of vice
president. Heaven forbid that the members of
this league should ever dine together! They
would talk forever, but the league might
| furnish speakers at q moderate cost for all
| public dinners. The idea is not bad one, and
it is recommended that it be carried out.
| SENATOR EvARrs' BEST PUN.
Probably some of the readers Of The STAR
remember the beautiful pun that Mr.. Evarts
made at dinner at Delmonico's some years
ago. In all the constellation of his famous
puns this is the brightest star. The dinner
taking place about Thanksgiving time Mr..
! Evarts when he arose to speak began i'll this
way:
Friends, you have just been having turkey
stuffed full OF sage; now present you with a
! sage stuffed full of turkey
1t made no difference what he said after that;
the best thing he could have said would have
been nothing at all.
But it remained for a San Francisco man
who is seeking Office from the President and
who has been in town some time waiting for
| 1t to make one of the best after-dinner hits of
ALL He was called upon to speak at banquet
recently and boldly proclaimed that he was
after an Office.
'And here he went on, give been four
months waiting and waiting and lowering be-
tween the certainty of an appointment or a dis
appointment
SUNSET cox's SIRIUS NEss
The late s. s. Cox it will be remembered, was
toasted once at dinner in New York by an adj
mirer who tod him he joked too much and
recommended him in Emerson's language to
hitch his wagon to star" He promptly re-
piled that he would do SO and that the star
should be Sirius.
Another good pun was made by Washing
tonian who is literary man and an Irishman.
Being twitted with the fact that Ireland had
never produced such poet as Scotlands Rob-
bic Burns, he said that il was true, but that she
had had Little Moore.
But nobody who is going to make an after
dinner speech is recommended to make puns
A good pun made spontaneously is a delightful
| thing. but preconceived pun deliberately laid
before the audience in cold blood is thing
| that makes some people sorry and most people
mad.
FATHER EMBARRASSED BY HIS SON.
There is another thing that is not altogether
| without embarrassment and that is. when
| father and son attend the same banquet.
You see, the old man, perhaps. wishes to be one
of the boys for that night and the young man has
the same desire very likely. The consequence is
when one or the other is three sheets in the
| wind. Each thinks he has right to sail that
way, but each becomes indignant when he sees
the other laboring under undue stress of
weather. There was an amusing instance of
this this winter. At the first banquet that the
| father and son attended they we're placed a
good distance apart. but on the same side of
the long table. Consequently they couldn t
| see one another. Aftei dinner, when matters
were becoming pretty jolly, the son left his
seat and wandered meandering talking to-
ward the end of the table where papa was
The young man was pretty far gone. As he
reached his fathers neighborho0d he burst
into wild, hilarious laughter. The former arose
in a rage.
my son." he cried, in suppressed wrath
MY son, l am ashamed of you. You are in
toxicated, sir. Go home. sir, and go to bed.''
THE BOY GETS BACK AT THE GOVERNOR.
The son went home. But the other night the
two found themselves at another banquet, this
time at opposite sides OF an enormous round
table in full view OF one another but with q
| stretch of damask and flowers between them
covering an area OF q quarter of a mile or So
The son was careful, and when the speech
| making came was sober as the traditional
| judge. Not so with the old man. He had
| looked upon the sparkling champagne that was
golden SO long that it had become red. His
son took it all in and he grinned with satisfac-
| ton. Presently papa began to make a speech,
and such speech He swayed backward and
| forward as he talked; he spoke unutterabe non
sense; everybody was laughing at him, and his
scamp of son was striking his thigh and was
! in almost CONFUSION of merriment. This the
| father perceived presently and. stopping short
in his speech, he gazed upon his offspring SOL
EMMY.
Il don't see," he said slowly 81 don't see
| ah-what-ah -that-ah-that youngster over
zare is 80 pleased wi hself for!''
''By Jove J" cried the youngster. "By Jove 4!
I'm even with you now. Tn hanged if don't
tell your wife,