St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-10-25
TALES OF THE TARIFF.

How oft doth the guileless pen which wots
not of the rise or ruin It may bring, eclipse
all the great modern detective agencies, with
Inspector Byrnes, Scotland Yards. Pinkerton
and bank examiners thrown in. in providing
beautiful glove-ftting striped suits and free
living for the needy. John Bardsley-honest
John Bardslay, Of pious mien and the bland
ishment of affected frankness-was clever
enough to destroy the bank check stubs on
which were the names of men TO whom he
sent slices of his rich plumber, but the little
innocent pen III the hands of General Auditor
MoCamant wrote on days following the dates
of checks drawn, such tender, telling lines as
please accept my thanks tor favor received
this morning" Il have your favor and you
will please accept my thanks, ~ have your
letter. please accept thanks ETC., etc.
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The Washington correspondent of the Gin
cirnati Commercial Gazette, in a spasm of
partisan zeal, sent his paper a wholesale
consignment of statistics, more or less irrele
want and comments thereon to prove to the
world how truly excellent is the Mckinley
bill. Most particular stress is laid upon the
decrease in in the cost of steel rails since
the 1st of January, but, in the excitement of
his political joy, he neglected to study the
statistics with suficientcare which statistics
show decrease from so ton in January,
1861, to $50 ton in August, 1891. Sad this
political inioxication.
Passing strange are the ways of these pro-
tectouist friends of ours sugar is cheaper.
because the Mckinley law took the tariff
off, they tell US, SO vote for a continuance
of McKineyism. Carpets are higher, be-
cause the Mckinley bill raised the tariff on
vote for continuance of McKinleyism. In
spite of long-continued tariff. sugar never
was an American product competing with
other countries to any extent and no amount
of artificial forcing could make ii so. In
spite of a long-contnued and unequal tariff,
the carpet weaving industry of America
reached very considerable proportions. and
it is competing industry. Now, what the
deuce would these people like to have us do?
How grateful the employees of Andrew
Carnegie ought TO feel toward him. The poor
man must be standing part of his losses
himself. He is stumbling along buying castles
in Scotland and building amusement palaces
in New York, when he might indulge him
self in a much more lavish fashion, and only
reduces the pay of his employees another 10
per cent. Is it not strange that so good a
man SDOulQ nave lived so long!
-
While Secretary Rusk was conniving 10
teach The Germans how toothsome a dish is
American corn bread, he neglected q great
opportunity to make himself solid with New
England by not introducing the snccuient
bean to our Teutonic cousins.
~
1t may or not be true as reported, that the
of fha nf l,a
mob was De Pantaloon. but there is no ques-
ton about the name of the opposition lead
er's victim. His name was pants-plain,
simple pants.
Our Republican guardian angels are not
taking sufficient credit to themselves by half
There's st. Blaise the great trotting horse
sold for SOD, 600 spot cash the other day, and
wasn't there protective tariff on the very
oats the horse ate? And there is Sunol, cut
down the trotting record from 2:0ss4 to
2:JSA. Did not the Mckinley law bring that
about somehow? The major should not miss
this opportunity to plume himself.
When Gen. Raum surrenders what he does
not need for personal uses of the pension
office, as he is requested to do Ex-Gov Steele
the candidate from Oklahoma is the man
Tor the vacancy. without question. His very
name suggests fitness for the place, though
he might be requested to change the spelling.
~
In all their efforts TO show a decrease in
prices, our protectionist friends have sig
nally neglected TO mention the fact that Ohio
wool can be bought for 8 cents a pound less
than year ago. Though it might not be
inopportune to mention. the farmers are
paying advanced prices for the same wool
after it has been made up into clothing by
some protected clothing manufacturer
More tariff pictures: During the first nine
months of $780, under ordinarily favorable
conditions. the average velocity of wind IN
all windsIorms reported in the United States
was fourteen miles an hour. During the
first nine months of 1891, under the great and
only Mckinley tariff law, and in spite of the
concerted diabolical schemes Of Democratic
merchants to raise the old Harry, the average
velocity of wind was twenty-seven miles an
hour.
$50 ~ s
1t has not been SO announced officially. bu
1t is presumed that the wind reached highest
in hp f,f