Telegram-herald., 1891-06-08
Sweet SABBATH HYMNS
Josh Long Grows Sentimentally
Reminiscent.
The OLD CHURCH CHOIR OF LONG AGO
How Elder simpson Murzied n Bad but
Persistent Chorister and Now He
Bluned the saaey New Choir that
Demanded a salary.

After read Gertrude Gsiety's article
on church choIrs in the SUNDAY TELE.
GRAM HERALD, | got 10 thinking OF the
old church "way down east" where as
a boy was compelled 20 attend early
and often. How well remember the
old high backed pews with the little
doors at the end. They were 30 hard
that only the most obduraie sinner
could fall asleep while sitting in them
there were only two cushioned pews IN
the whole church. Deacon Gardner 1
pew. Just in front of ours, had a large
knothole in the bottom board, and one
memorable Sunday, when | had the
tidgeis IN my legs, the bulbous portion
of the old deacon's llnsey wooiseys
came in perihelon with the hole. The
prince OF darkness must have taken
possession OF me, for before i knew II
one of my copper-toed boots shot into
the aperture and the old man shot into
the air as If had landed on boil.
was marched into the vestlbule and
cutfed TO the deacon's entire satlsfac-
ton. Uncle Ben French was a neces-
sary man TO the church, and / doubt II
II could have been run successfully
without hlm. He swept out and stocked
the big box stoves with four-foot cord
wood; then he would ring the bell and
act as usher until the minister took ms
seat IN the pulpit. Uncle Ben Was also
the chief hustler at all the funerals.
While Elder Simpson was reading the
first hymn Uncle Ben would scoot up
into the choir lott, run his fingers
through his bushy hair. draw his coat
sleeve across his parrot-like beak, and
lay violent hands On the big fiddle.
He Thrilled the worshipers.
The reading ended, Uncle Ben would
draw his bow across the strings Of ms
bass vIol with blood chilling zoop that
would set fellows teeth on edge and
make his hair stand forward like the
bristles on a mad hog. The choir took
the key and sang good old-fashioned
airs without the aid of an organ. 1t
pains me TO think how they sang them,
so 1 will not attempt To describe II.
Miss Sally Clark was a maiden antiquity
who sang air. She used great deal of
air, bat her false teeth were loose and
her vocal cords were badly shattered.
Old Jim Toombs had sung tenor for
thirty-tive years and, although bis voice
failed on the second year. he kept right
on with the racket. To remedy nis
vocal defects he sent his tones around
by another route and they issued from
his wind-splitter nose like the blare OF a
cracked trumpet. AS his voice lost IN
sweetness. il seemed to gain in power.
The trustees finally called a meeting 10
devise some way of putting a stopper
on Old Jim. All were of the opinion
that ne should be muzzled, but none of
them wanted to undertake the Job.
When any one of them would be
pressed 10 serve a notice on the old
man. he would say: "oh. psnaw; !
don't want 20 hurt his feelings; he's a
willIn' soul; let HIM 60 it." They finally
went IN u body and talked TO hlm. He
WAS furious and declared that he would
sing until ne got ready 10 quit Of hIs
own accord.
Timely Revelation.
The elder prayed over the matter
aud then took up the hymnbook 10 Sc
lect the hymns for Sunday morning.
As he turned over the leaves his eye
caught one that he thought would do
tor old man Toombs, and II II did not
il would be appropriate 10 the occasion.
Sunday morning came and the congrc-
CATION assembled. The elder could
read hymn in a way that would cast
a gloom over a picnic in a beer garden.
lie rose IN the pulpit and casting a
despalring glance at the choir loft, he
said slowly and solemnly; 1--WE will
sing to the praise of the Lord hymn
4s2." Then slowly and with great feel.
ing he read the lines
"Hark from the Toombs doleful sound
Nine cars attend the cry" etc
He read II through and repeated the
first two lines slowly and sadly. A
little boy saw the point and snickered.
He was promptly cuffeu. but a litter
ran all through the congregation wher.
ever young people were seated. Uncle
Ben gave the big fiddle q vicious rssp,
but poor old Jim was ratified. lie lei a
plaintive blest out Of hIs troat and then
seemed TO choke up. The soprano
went tn pieces on the first bar and the
alto Immediately subsided bot big Ton,
Green roared the first verse through IN
sepulchral bass and then thew All sa'
down with very red faces. The sing
ing was omitted during the rest Of the
service.
He Settled the New Choir.
new choir was installed and things
went on swimminciy for while. One
day the choir struck and demanded
pay for their services. The church
couldn't afford Il and the trustees ssid
20. The old elder came sgsin u the
rescue. The choir was seated ia the
loft, bat had sad before church that
not one Of them would peep 4 they
we're not paid. Rising IN hIs place TIE
elder looked through his glasses at the
ohdarste singers and beEsn very sternly
20 read the old familiar hymn, let
Them Refuse 70 Sng Whe Never Knew
Cur God. etc. II "a unnecessary 20
say tbattoe choir was bluffed and they
sAugss they had never sung before
IozH .frc