The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1891-05-07
COURTESY AT HOME.
Mrs. Helen s. Conamt Offers Some Re-
marks for General Consideration.


AIT of being agreeable one to another.
1t is one of the loveliest of virtues, for
true courtesy is born of wisdom. kind.
| ness, torbearance and unselfishness. II
is admirable in all ranks of life and in
| all places, in business, in the shops, in
| school and among travellers, but nowhere
Is 1t more necessary or more beautiful
than in the family circle. and there is no
place, perhaps, where it is less practiced.
Every mother knows that each one of
her young family is different from all
the others. One daughter Is impulsive.
warm hearted and witsi quick temper
that blazes into flame at the least provo.
cation; another is of quiet tempera-
ment, but inclined to fits of sulkiness.
1t is the same with the boys one is help
full, kindly and good humored; another
selfish, boisterous and fond of teasing
his brothers and sisters. There is moth
ing that will prevent clashes and quick
words among all these conflicting char
at-srs except courtesy.
Love alone will not do it, for every one
knows that in many households where
the members are bound together by
strong ties of love, where in case of sick
ness or sorrow they would cling to each
other with utmost fondness the thou
sand and one petty Invitations of daily
life call forth constant stream of nag
ging and unpleasant words. There are
families where the dinner table is never
serene, and this, too, among people of
education and culture. Even the pres
ence of guest does not check the sharp
disputes which arise over the most triv-
ial matters. This is all wrong. and is
really false to the true character of these
young people who snap each other up at
every turn. They do not realize them
selves what they are doing, and if they
encounter the same state of things in
another household they are the first to
condemn it. Were mirror held up to
them rejecting all their own words for
a week past they would be filled with
dismay.
81 never spoke in that way to my sis
ter" young girl said once in my hear
ing, when certain harsh words were re-
peated to her. When it was made clear
to her that she did, she flushed crimson
and said softly, "You know | never
meant it," Very true. She never did
mean it. The harsh words were only an
outburst of a bad and thoughtless habit,
but they left an irritating impression all
the same.
1t is not the great. rocks of trouble
which produce the binding dust of daily
life; it is the little pebbles by the way,
and there is nothing smoothes over the
little rough places like the fragrant
flower of courtesy" You may be com
PEELED to deny a request, to say no, and
say it firmly, but if you do it courteous
ly it will not hurt half as much as if it
were done with blunt roughness. The
fact that you are courteous shows that
you respect the request and are sorry
you cannot grant it,
True courtesy anticipates the desires
and needs of others, and this is one rea-
son why it is beautiful and soothing in
the family circle.
All well trained children are taught
to yield and to be unselfsh. 1t is a hard
lesson for them to learn, for young
child is by nature little brigand, and
until he learns better by experience he
sees no reason why all that he wishes
should not be his. The tale of crying
for the moon was founded on natural
element of infantile character. Now
there are many ways of yielding. Some
children will do it sullenly, even rough
ly, as if their hearts were dead set
against it, and one is sure then that they
would keep the warm corner or the soft
easy chair if they were not afraid of re-
buke. When young man or young
girl rises, and with a pleasant smile yields
the comfortable seat to an elderly per-
son, it is delicate act of courtesy which
is sure to be appreciated.
Above all things should the parents of
the household be treated with courtesy,
and here they themselves must set the ex-
ample by their treatment of each other.
There are wives who save up all the
worries and trivial vexations of the day
to burst out with the dreary tale the
moment the husband and father enters
the house. The daughters, seeing this,
are very likely to fall in line with all
kinds of petitions and requests, reason
able enough, perhaps, but untimely, and
therefore discourteous. Now there have
been worries abroad as we'll as at home,
worries in business as well as in the
kitchen, and what the father needs is
sweet, courteous greeting, which will
make him feel that there is peace and
rest at his own fireside, even if the out
side world does go wrong.
He, too, must be courteous; he must
not enter his house after days absence
with surly face and gruff manner.
Such coming home will strike a chill
to the heart of the brightest household.
He may be weary, but it is one thing to
be weary and another thing to be grutf
because of it. 1t requires study to be
tired cheerfully, but it is a species of
self control worth studying to gain. By
all means let both fa1hAe end mother put
trouble aside at the moment of meeting,