davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
AMUSING rRlFLEs.

a Bath minister rings door bell Door
opens-a ittle-and . voice says: 1--WE
don't want anything today and the
door closes.-Bath Independent.
Hungry Higgins-"Say, pardner, don't
you wisht you had all the gold twenties
you could carryY' Weary Watkins
..Not IL I had to carry them very far.n-
Indianapolis Journal.
qualities OF this hatf'-New Clerk-ssOh,
for more than five years, and you can see
for yourself it IL as good as new.-Indian-
Iapolis Journal.
aDear John-Come tomorrow evening.
Pa is laid up with q sore foot. Yours,
Coral 'Dear Coral can't come to.
morrow evening. am laid up on account
of your pas sore foot Yours, joint
Kansas City Times.
Jennie had never seen a man with such
a long black beard and such bushy hair as
her seafaring uncle had, but everyone
knew what she mean when she said that
her 'suncle with the peek-a-boo face was
here to-day."-Harper's Bazaar.
Minnie, with novel, to Mamie at piano:
sPlease play something pathetic dear. l
haye just reached the chapter where tho
heroine stands weeping on the shore as
the hero sails away, perhaps to never,
never return. indianapolis journal
Brown-'Old Cobwigger is remarkably
superstitious for a man OF his intelligence.
I saw him pick up an old horseshoe the
other day" Merritt-.sYes. He nailed
it over that 5 5000 vase in his library
Brown-sDid it bring him good lucka"
Merritt-"It fell down and broke the
vase. "-Harper's Bazaar.
VIsitor-aI called in reference to your
advertisement in to-day's paper, sir"
Man Of the House-sYes. I have just in
vented a balloon that is going to revolu-
~tionize science, and I need an assistant. y
Visitor-"Exactly, sir. What. do you
want me to do4" Man Of the House-stl
want you to go up in it."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
STONE COFFlNS.
Sixteen Perfect Skeletons Found in
Malmesbury, England.


A discovery Of great interest to
psychologists has been made at
Malmesbury. In order to enlarge his
premises, Mr.. j. Moore, of the Bell
hotel, has pulled down two adjoining
cottages, and the laborers in the en-
ploy of the builders while excavating
underneath the foundation discovered
two stone collins, the lid of each of
which weighed from seven to nine cwt.
In these were found from sixteen to
seventeen perfect skeletons with re-
markably fine sets of teeth, scarcely
n being missing, although it is sup
posed the bodies must have been bur-
led over thousand years. The divid-
ing wall between the hotel and the
cottages "a six feet thick, and, on
this being removed, underneath
the center Of it was found a
shaft, fourteen inches by twelve.
beautifully walled up. leading it is
supposed, to a chamber or subterrane-
an passage. We understand that the
vicar. who is very interested in the
discovery, has expressed his opinion
that this is the site of the Malmesbur-
ry castle which was built by Roger.
bishop of Salisbury, for the purpose
OF defending the abbey, and that it
will help the Archaeological society to
trace a nor correct history of the
western part of that grand old build
ing. On the skeletons being found
they were carefully collected by Mr..
Moore and the Rev. G. Windsor Tuck
err at one visited the spot and gave
orders for a grave to be dug near the
Russian gun in the churchyard for
their interment Subsequently more
skeletons were found and a second
grave had to be dug. The discovery
altogether has excited great interest.
Gloucester Standard.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
LEVITIES.

1t is rumored in orchestra circles that
women's hats have gone up.-Philadelphia
Press.
You can't tell who Is in the coffin by the
length Of the funeral procession.-Ram'a
Horn.
When some men pay their preacher they
feel as though they were paying a gas bill.
RAMS Horn.
Fogg says a severe thunder storm re-
minds him of an onion. It is peal on peal.
Boston Transcript.
The hen that sits on a porcelain egg may
not accomplish much, but she has onnest
Intentions Texas Siftings.
Admitting Wife Ito husband who has
dear, what a fine Swapping fellow you
arel"-Baltimore American.
You can tell whether a man is any &C.
count by the way he steps. Had Job been
a man who run his shoes down at the heel
and never had any opinions of his own the
devil wouldn't nave bothered him.-Ram's
Horn.
The sceptic who says he hasn't faith
enough to believe in anything at all will
go peacefully to sleep in a car on a night
express train reasonably sure that the
engineer will bring him through all right.
-Somerville Journal.
Polly-'So you are really and truly en-
gaged-how did it come about!'' Patsy
well, papa said he didn't care. an
said she didn't care, Jack said he didn't
care, and I'm sure 1 didn't care, so we be.
came engaged. PUCK.
"Did the editor of the United Magazine
accept your poemT eyes. I signed
Whittier name to it, and it went like q
hot cake. There was one disappointment
in it, though. l believe Whittier got paid
for it. I know I didn t."-Now York
Sun.
This is the order which a little cir
brought into a Lewiston (Me.) drug store
the other day. 1t was written on a dirty
piece of note paper, as follows: '.Miste1
druggist: Please send ipecac enough tc
throw up a four-year-old girl. "-Medical
Record.
Johnson-"Confound that Tomson! I"
Mrs. J.-"What's the matterl' johnson
He has just gone and taken one of my
umbrellas. It is nothing short OF a crime
to take IN umbrella, and it is a piece OF
carelessness and thoughtlessness that is
condoned too often. lt-hello. what's
thist" Mrs. J.-ssWhat is it, John?" John
son (gleefully)-'Tomson took ono of my
umbrellas, but left another one-a better
one. Here, run and hide it. He may dis
cover his mistake and be back any min
ute. Yankee Blade.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
RoumanIan Diet.

Life is extremely simple among the
peasants of Roumania. The principle
dish at every meal is the maize cake.
With great composure each person in
his turn stretches out his right hand
and breaks off a small portion for
himself. Besides this, each takes a
couple OF onions. asmall bowl of beans,
a slice of watermelon. a few unripa
plums. and a draught of water. And
to this frugal meal is hidden the labor.
er or the wayfarer who may look as
though he had no dinner Come II
have two onions; here is one for you."
demonstrating has no limits.
Il have not even a bite left for a
guest L the b~itterest complaint Of
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
WHO KNOWS?


Soldier.
Did / ever see a woman in the army
"a woman in the uniform OF q soldier
and marching in the rank? Ycs,
once. but / knew her sex only after
her life had gone out on a battlefield.
II was on Sunday, May 8. 1868, and
the field was that OF Charlottesville.
St6newall jackson had sheltered the
Federal right the evening before and
received his own death wound. Stuart,
with the whole left wing Of the Con-
federate army, had breasted back the
divisions of Berry, French, Williams
and Whipple and his path was now
blocked by Sickle's corps.
At 8 o'clock in the morning hun
dreds of the men in line were out of
ammunition and they got a fresh sup
ply only by robblng the cartridge
boxes of our own dead.
For n long hour we held that
front of forest and thicket and the field
against every effort Stuart could make.
and when the lines broke back it was
because u bayonets could not stand
against the terrible musketry fire
pouring in upon us. 1t was during
that hour and while we were robbing
the dead and wounded of means to
hold the line, that / came upon two
dead soldiers in a bit of a glade who
had been killed by a shell. One lay
on the broad of his back with a ghast-
ly wound in the side-the other right
across his breast, with his left arm
and shoulder torn away. There was
an odor of burning cloth as we stood
over the bodies. and not knowing
whether the poor fellows were dead OF
wounded we rolled the first one of
and found his jacket on FIRE over his
chest. The shirt beneath was burning
also, and it was in stripping the gar
ments off that we made the discovery.
1t was a young woman about 20 years
of age, her hair cut short and her face
and hands brown with tan.
On making our report the body was
ordered to be carried to the rear, bur
before this could be done our whole
line was pressed back, and none of II.
ever saw it again. Regiments. com
panies and squads were so mixed W
on that field that we could not tell t.
what command she belonged. TIL,
dead man lying beside her was a ser
geant and they were falling back il
company when struck down. Lovers
perhaps. but nc one will ever know
They were simply two of the thous
ands of dead left lying where they fel
:or the victorious C~onfederates to bur,
when Hooker had escaped across tn,
river with the living.-Post Dispatch
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
CHEERFUL.

The naughty Miss McBride-.sAlas! 1
fear l shall develop into a confirmed in
valid-why, Mr.. Basker, where are you
going!" Smiley Basker grabbing his hat)
Pm going to study medicine"
What is that terrible noise!" asked
one Russian nobleman of another. 'It
sounds as if some one was riveting a boil
err" Yes" was the reply; sthe czar's
valet is getting him ready for bed.'-
Washington Star.
sits a blessed good thing" said Nav
son, as he gazed on the ocean; 'sit's a
blessed good thing the oceans bottom is
solid" ''Whya" Think of what a gey-
ser there'd be on the other side OF the
earth if it leakedr'-New York Sun.
In Chicago-Mrs.- o'zoae-Can't you
get a move on hat horse, driver. I'm
afraid that Inn be late for the wedding.''
Driver-"Niver moind, mum! Even if we
miss the wedding, we'll be sure to git there
in tonne for the divorce Texas Sift-
ings.
Mr.. Saphead-'Tve got a fad, too, don't
ye know. l collect old and rare violins.
Come around and see 'em." Musician
'.Do you blayl" Mr.. Saphead-.,Bless
you, no, not a note" Musician-(enthus.
iastically)-"I will oome.''-New York
Weekly.
81 hope my visits are not disagreeable
to you" he said. ssNot at all, !" she po-
litely answered. 81 awe sometimes
thought that 1 worried you" "Oh, no.
No matter how gloomy 1 feel when you
call, l am always happy when you GO
Harrisburg Telegraph.
Mr.. Vernon Mount-''Yes, darling; we
49, -
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
Come to Sray.

The terribly aggravated form of influenza,
which ply sicians on tile continent of Europe
designate as la grippe seems to have eff
fected Il permanent Judgment this side the
Atlantic. 1t makes its temperance as soe1.
as the cool weather sets iii, and not infre-
quently during the summer months. In the
attack, or SO etfectually counteracts It's SUBJ
sequent ravages, as Eostetter's Stomach Bit.
tiers. The fortifying, invigorating influence
against the dangers which beset a feeble
physique and a weakly constitution conse-
quent upon abrupt transitions of temporal
ture: 1t diruses y g ,s warmth through 9
or preventive OF IL chill, and is a means OF
neutralizlng the effect Of exposure in damp
or rigorous weather. In dyspepsia, liver
and kidney troublesit is never resortod "
without good results
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
Money-MakIng versu. Human Life.

A.S
Care for the security Of human life.
and especially Of the poorer and more
exposed part of the community, is not
SO striking a feature of our civiliza-
ton as the ease and rapidity with
which we build railroads aud subdue
the wilderness and make money. We
hear SO much of the money-making
part of our prosperity and greatness
that we r sometimes forgetful that
it is by no means the highest part. 1t
is certainly questionable whether NE
should not generally be more inter
ested in the rate of the increase of the
national wealth than in that Of the
increase Of the length of life and se-
CURLY against bodily injury. But
there is no question that the latter
-ipterestL would indicate a higher ciy-
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
THEY DO 81? JEST.

"Could you not, if you tried, grant me
a place in that icy heart of yoursE' MY
heart may be of ice, as you say, Mr.. Soph-
leigh. But, all the same, 1 am not in the
cold-storage bushes indianapolis Jour
nal.
Young Father Gn the future)-'tGreat
snakes! Can't you get something to quiet
that baby! Its eternal squalling just
drives me wild" Young Mother Calmly
to servantl-'Maria, bring in my hus-
bands mothers monograph, and put in
the cylinder marked AT Ten Months l
want him to hear how his voice sounded
when he was young. New York Week
ly.
1t was on the train, and he was trying
to read. There was the usual variety of
passengers, among them a lady with n
very sprightly little girl that had blue
eyes, a head of glistening gold and an in.
quisitorial tongue. She piled him with
questions and toyed with his watchchain.
The mother, who was a widow, fairly
beamed upon him. He was becoming
nervous and turning to the mother. said:
MADAME, what do you call this sweet
little darling!" The widow smiled en-.
chantingly, and replied with a sigh,
Ethel" 'Please call her, then."-Texas
Siftings.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
A POSTWAR OF THE LANDEs.
Delivering Letters Over the Marshes Of
Gascony on Stills.

delivering LoIters over the Marshes oil
Gascony on Stills.
Down in that portion of Gascony
which the French call the Landes, the
country is chiefly composed OF vast
marshes and sandy plains. on which
the only crops planted are maize and
barley, and over which the sheep and
cattle Craze. So wide are the marshes,
especially in the interior, that the pop
ular mode of locomotion is on stills.
The shepherds never use anything
else, and they stalk about the country
after their herds like gigantic cranes,
knitting as they walk. The exigen-
cies of the geologic formation affect
even official life, for the postmen must
also go on stills to accomplish their
deliveries. A civil service examine
ton in his district would unioubt-
eddy take into account his capa-
bilities for gymnastics of this sort,
and though in general a postman
with wooden legs would be most unde-
sirable. in this case be is exactly what
is wanted.-Philadelphia Times,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
August
lOWeP

have been aflict-
Biliousness, "edwith biliousness
rana4...,..a and constipation
for fifteen years
Stomach first one and then
another prepara-
Pains. "tion was suggested
tome and triedbut
to no purpose. At last a friend
recommended August Flower. I
"took it according to directions and
its effects were wonderful, reliev-
ing me Of those disagreeable
stomach pains which I had been
troubled with so long. Words
!" cannot describe the admiration
Sin which I hold your August
ss F1ower-it has given me a new
lease of life, which before was a
burden. Such a medicine is ben
"efaction to humanity, and its good
"qualities and
wonderful mer- Jesse Barker,
its should be
made known to rintor'
t"everyone suffer Humboldt.
'.ing with dyspep-
"siaor bi1iousness Kansas. q
G.G. GREEN. Sole Man'fr.W oodbury.N NJ.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
seventy Miles in six Hours.

). j. Halliday rode from Ervay to
Casper. Wyo., a distance OF seventy
miles, il six hours, changing horses
but once. He went for a doctor to at
tend a woman who had ~disiocated her
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
The Only One Ever Printed-Can You
Find fh9, yy0i.d0

There is a 3-inch display advertisement
in this paper this week which has no two
words alike except one word. The same
is true of each new one appearing each
week, from the DR.. Harter Medicine Co
This house places a "Crescent'' OF
everything they make and publish. Look
for it, send them the name of the word, AND
they will return you Book. BEAUTIFUL
AUTOGRAPHS or SAMPLES FREE.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

FITS.-AM Fits stopped free by DIR, KLlkH's GREAT
Nerve Restorer. No Fit after frstday'suse. Mar
veiious cures. Treatise and $500 trial bottle free to
Fit cases. Send 10 DR.. Kline.93 Arch At, Phila.. Pa.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
Entitled to the Bees,

Its said that fifty serious errors have
been made by the clerks employed to en-.
gross the laws of New York this year.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

The girls look so pretty In their Jersy
jackets andthe little ones l03k so pretty In
their Mother Hutbards-and the world Is
SO happy, because OF DIR. Bulls Cough
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

All are entitled to the best that their
money will buy, so every family should
have, at once, a bottle Of the best family
remedy, Syrup of.Figs, to clensethe system
when costive or bilious. For sale in Soc
and S1.OO bottles by all leading druggists.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

ton is called to the advertisement Of a reli-
able New York firm, Howl made House
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

DIR. L. L. GORSUCH, Toledo, O.. says: II
rave practiecd medicine for forty years, have
never seen q Preparation that l could prescribe
Halls Catarrh Cure" Sold by Druggists 7bo.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

DIR. Foote'S new pamphlet on vAnIcocELE tells al
about it and what all men ought to know. Sent (sealedl
for IL cents, Box 78S, New York,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

A terrific wind storm partially destroyed
between 75,O00,000 and 100000 feet Of
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

When a man has run his race in this
world and the end comes lie is out Q;
breath.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

s.It's a valiant flea that dare eathis break
fast on the lip of q lion and we once
thought it took a daring man to 80 into a
damp, swampy country, even for his "
Is killed by Salvation Oil and he is not
afraid of rheumatism.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Rains have been so incessant in Switzerr
land that tourists have abandoned the
country for other parts of Europe.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Foul poisons that accumulate in the
blood and rot the machinery of the system
are eradicated and expelled by usinl
Prickly Ash Bitters, a medicine that wi!
not irritate the stomacnO or the bowels. i
acts in a gentle manner on these delicate
organs, and restores healthin every case,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

ATat0r,a Camanf Renasrs broken Articles
5c and 25cs Majors Leather and Rubber Gemcntl5c
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

How absurd it is for a man when he iias
the blues to start out andxry to paint thu
town red.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Mexico's new tariff will make our bee
cost rs cents a pint in that country.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

When Baby wa. sick, v. gave n.l c...or,..
When she was . Child. she cried fer Castoria.
whea She became = Miss, she chung to c.storia.
When she had Children, she gave them osstosia.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Business dispatched is business wei!
done, but business hurried is business Ill
dOnp
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Jonah wasn't happy, and yet Jonah wa!
unqueStiOnably'in it" for three whole day!
at least.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
Only Ten Gents a Pack.

The railroads of the United States carry
l,50O,00 0 passengers and 100000 tons of
freight every day in the year.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

The incest thing in tile world is to see
young man who is good to his mother.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

The celebrated burlington Route
playing cards are now sold at ten cents
per pack. 600 cents is the usual price
for such cards.) Whist, high five and
euchre parties will soon be in order,
and we would suggest that you lay in
a stock of these playing cards for fu-
ture requirements.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Cleared oacay
all the troubles and ailments that
make woman's life a burden to her.
She's relieved, cured, and restored,
with DR.. Piercc's Favorite Prescrip-
ton. Periodical pains, weak back,
bearing down sensations, nervous
prostratfon, all "female complaints"
are cured by it. It improves di-
gestion, enriches the blood, dispels
aches and pains, brings refreshing
sleep, and restores health and
strength.
It's a powerful general, as well as
uterine, tonic and nervine, imparting
vigor and strength to the entire sys-
TEN. Contains no alcohol to inebri.
ate no syrup Or sugar to derange
digestion; a legitimate medicine
not a beverage.
If you're a tired, nervous, or suf:
fering woman, then the "Favorite
Prescription is the only medicine
that's guaranteed, in every case, te
bring you help. If it doesn't give
you satisfaction, you have YOU
money back. I.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
Wyomtne,. WeaIthl

WyOmtng'1 wealth.
Wyoming's wealth, as determined by
the state board Of equalization, ii ga, 6s2,y-
672. This is an i~ncreaseof 4I,56s,l1 over
last year.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

The railroad that issued too many passes
some day may have to pass a dividend.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
A. C. Z1EMER,
City Pass. Agent.

There is n lucky thing about spoiled
children-we never have them in our own
family.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30
AGENTS WANTED ON SALARl

or commission. to handle the New Patent Chemical Ink
Erasing Pencil. Agents making $50 per week. Monroe
Eraser Mfg Co.. La Crosse, Wis, Box S3l.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-30

Y .s ss'' ssss s s't' ~Thompson's Eye Watsl