The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-10-01
SOME CHUNKS OF HJJMOR.
SELECTIONS THAT ARE SURE TO
MAKEYOU LAUGH.
Almost aTraRedy--He Had Pass
"a New Departure In Burles-
que--Unexpected Proof
f5s Advantage Of Cross s
Eyes.
Almost a Tragedy.

Almost Tragedy.
A negro about twenty years of age,
sat in the sun with his back to the
freight shed, on an Alabama railroad.
He was sound asleep, when another
young man ofhis color drove up to
the platform with an old horse and
wagon. The newcomer saw a chance
for sport, and he used his whip to
"nip" the other until he finally awoke
and demanded:
"Who dat pusson who kept techin'
me all de timer"
"I'spects yo' am lookin' right at
him, sah," replied the one with the
whip.
Julius, lie mind to broke yo' in
two fur dat!''
'Shoo! Yo' couldn't hurt nobody!"
Couldn't, eh? ! let yo' know, sab,
dat I killed a man ober in Opelika SO
dead he neber breathed agin!'
"Doan' yo' go fur to threaten me,
Moses, kase won't stand it! Mebbe
some ef yo'r friends dun toleyo bout
de way I knocked dat man to pieces
down at Greenville! Jist reached out
fur him an he died" ~ AZ
"Hu! Look out for me, boy! lie
gettin' mad, an when de madness
comes nobody cam dun hold me! lie
jist a drove of nevis runnin' away, I
ar!'' ... ~
"Ize heard niggers talk afo' dis, but
l didn't skeer!'
Niger! Who yo' calm niger? Yo'
is niger yo' self, an yo' stole hogs!"
"What! Yo' dun say stole hogs!
Why, boy, I'll crack yo' ribs in min
ute! l don't low no common trashto
talk dat way to me!''
'Shoo! Niger; if war jist to reach
out my ham yo' would fall dead! lie
sorry fur yo' pore ole mudder, an
dat's why I doan reach.'' ...l. .,...
+ '"Now lie mad! III glib yo' jist one
mint to flee fur yo' llfe!'' RI
"So's I mad!" &t ..r@ !,
''Nlgger!' . ..&. "
Hog thief!'' @ II
They stood facing each other and
breathing hard, when an old stray
mule turned the corner. It was a d.
version. .s.. .@...."
Julius, am. dat Kernel Baxter's
mewl?" asked one. - ......
Reckon tits, Moses" replied the
other. @.@1t
"Den we'd better kotch him and see
if de kernel won't glib US two bits for
our trubble." :.- -
Two minutes later they We're walk
ing down the road arm-in-arm, with
the old mule following behind.-M.
Quad in New York World. ~
-.- He Had Pass.
& There is a newspaper man in this
city who played me dirty trick
about two years ago." remarked a
prominent Seattleite to the town crier
recently. ~..
"How was that?" asked the T. C.
"Why, I was doing some business in
Montana and got completely strapped.
I did not have a dollar, but l knew
the editor of the paper, and I went to
him and asked him to use his infu-
ence to procure me pass to Seattle.
He promised to do so, and the next
morning handed me sealed envelope
that he said would fix me all right.
II was profuse in my thanks, and
you can imagine that I let no grass
grow under my feet, but. boarded the
first train for he wact
"About two miles out the conduct
or came along after tickets. hand
ed him the envelope, and he tore it
open. It contained a note, which he
read, and then passed back, with the
remark:
az think you have made a mis-
take young man.
"'What's the matter?'' asked.
Tread that he said, laconic-
ally. 5@#
Il picked up the paper. It
read: = :
"'To all section foreman on the
Northerner Pacific system: Let this
man pass.
II got off at the next station and
telegraphed home for money. But
the adventure has somewhat cured
me of my desire to ride on passes
Seattle Press Times.
A New Departure in Burlesque.
He walked into the office in a
buisness-like way and said, without
any preface to his remarks: #
GIVE written an opera. = b
y ~
"Don't want it, !" said the theatrical
manager promptly"
"But it's a comic OPERA" persisted
the man.
Don't care" returned the theatre
cal manager.
1T borders on the burlesque and
has new features" asserted the man.
Like to see a burlesqne with a new
feature, !" said the manager scornfully.
what is ia transformation scene
where a palace is blown up by dyna-
mite and you get glimpse Of it in the
air?''' al
ooh, no; I left the transformation
scene to the stage manager
The manager looks incredulous. b
whats your feature?"
Nall HNf 1 - Ffi1