davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05

A somewhat amusing incident oc-
cured at an English provincial theater
recently, during performance of
"Called Back" Early in the evening
an old lady took up her seat in the
balcony and concentrated her atten-
ton on the play. When Antony re-
ceived his coupe de grace at the hands
of Macari, the lady became very ex-
cited and tainted. She was taken
down to the vestibule, and on recov-
cry it was suggested she should leave
the theatre. This. however. she de-
clined to do, being anxious to witness
as she put it, "the beautiful play"
She accordingly returned to her seat,
apparently well. The vision scene in
Act next proved too much for her,
and again she tainted. Once more res
toratives were applied, and she dec
clared her intention of staying to the
end. Nothing occurred in Act II to
arouse her sympathies, but the
Siberian scene in Act III, in which DR..
Ceneri shuffles off the mortal coil,
again upset her nerves and once more
she tainted. By this time the manage
ment had had enough of the thing, and
the old lady was sent away in a cab
to her residence, not far otf.-From
the Jester.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Rather a Strong prauehe.

Colonel Joskins was a South Caro-.
iinian, whose capacity in pints was
greater than his ability in dollars,
For years he had been in the daily
habit of visiting thelittle village store,
and of going directly to the jug that
held the whisky and drinking liberal
portion without the preliminary Of
pouring it into a glass.
One day the storekeeper turned just
in time to see the Colonel replacing
the Jug, from which he had taken his
customary deep draught. He grew
white and stiff, for the jugs had in some
way become displaced, and the on
which the colonel had calmly set back
was the one which held the village
supply of sulphuric acid. The Col
onel walked out of the store without
a remark, and the storekeeper waited
in terror to hear the news of his hor-
rible death. None came and the store
keeper marveled much.
But the next morning, at his usual
hour. in walked the Colonel, rosy and
cheerful as usual.
''Mornin', Jones, he said, ash emade
directly for the jug, "thiss new whisky
yours has queer flavor, but l don't
object to it,"
HAS it disagreed with you in any
way" asked the amazed Jones.
disagreed with me? Why, no. But
there is one peculiar thing I've no.
ticed. Ever since | drank it I've seem.
ed to blow holes in my pocket hand
kerchief. "-ArgOnaut
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
With the Left Hand,

The bank clerks are so often called
upon for directions that they fall in
to the habit of giving them in a hur-
ried and mechanical manner, conse-
quently they are frequently misunder-
stood. The usual formula when a
stranger is called upon to sign his
name is: Sign there-pen and ink
at your left hand" One day not
long ago stranger entered one OF
the large banks and asked for a GER
tifcate Of deposit for a considerable
roll of money which he handed over.
The clerk counted the money found
the amount to be as stated. and
hurriedly said: Sign there, sir-pen
and ink at your left hand" 1t ap-
peared to the clerk that it took the
stranger a long time to sign his name.
but he thought nothing more of it
and issued the certificate of deposit.
About a week later the same man
reappeared and presented the certif-
cate. AS the clerk sees SO many faces
each day he did not remember this
man when he asked him to sign his
name. He dashed off an ornate sig
nature which the clerk proceeded to
compare with the first signature.
The two were vastly different, as the
first one was apparently the labored
effort of an old man. Il can't pay
you this money, sill" said the clerk.
"Why not?" asked the astonished
stranger. Because this is not the
signature of the man to whom | is
sued the certificate of deposit" was
the reply. "Is he your father or
grandfather" The stranger was
dumfounded. "When / was here you
told me to write my name with my
left hand, and I did so, but can't
write that way" A light dawned in
upon the clerk now. "Will you write
your name with your left hand now?"
he asked, The man labored hard and
produced a fac-simile OF his first sig
nature, and the clerk apologized and
paid him his money.-Chicago Her
aid,
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
A Pony's Grief.

I had pair ofponies, bought by me
almost as colts, and never separated
for an hour for seven years. Recently
one of them, Ali, died; during his ILL
ness thesorrow, wonder and efforts to
rouse him of his stable companion
were touching to behold They were
both loose in very large box, where
they habitually lived together, and the
one in health, Odo, was constantly
whinnying over his sick friend, licking
him and trying to induce him to eat
hay, which he brought to him
in his teeth. When Ali was really
dead and responded to his caresses no
more Odo's grief was poignant and
pitious. 1t lasted longer than most
brothers regret would endure. Five
months have gone by, but he has not
forgotten. When I take him his sugar
he neighs wistfully, and looks about
for his dead comrade. This is not
fiction, it is plain fact. 1t is pure
mental pain, pain OF the affections
and theregrets. Hewants for nothing
materially, bat he mourns his lost
friend.-Ouida in the Animals Guar
dian.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
The Proper Use of Money.

Golden Days: Some boys and girls spend
every cent on candy, toys, or trifes; Others
save every cent Neither of these methods
is to be commended. 1t is equally wrong
to squander or hoard.
Money should be expended to advantage.
That involves prudence in earning, saving
and spending.
A prudent boy will buy nothing that he
does not need. He. will buy the best for his
= money. He will learn to 'shop'-as the
girls do-that is, look around until he is
certain that some other article will not suit
him better.
Perhaps the greatest check on reckless or
foolish expenditure is day book. How
one?
A bright boy has for three years kept a
day book in which he entered every cent
that passed through his hands. All money
that he receives from any source, is entered
in the credit column. All money expended
is set down in the debit column. Every
week the book is balanced,
1t requires about ten minutes each day to
set down the daily expenditures, and e teen
minutes at the end of the week to balance
the book.
This book shows "where the money has
gone" 1t also checks foolish expenditures.
When he foots up his debts" at night,
he will be ashamed to enter "caudy" or
cigarettes" three or four times The next
day he will think of his day book and re-
train. 80
You can save money by keeping a day
book. The items surprise and instruct you.
1t does not make you stingy or mean. 1t
gives you more money to spend on neces-
sites. 1t inculcates business habits that
may be of value.
To the girls these remarks equally apply
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Statistics OF Old Age,
From the Pail Mall Gazette.

from Vne fau MAI GHzefbe.
Prot. Murray Humphrey has just
brought together a remarkable book
on sold Age" 1t is based upon the
result of an inquiry conducted by the
collective investigation committee of
the British Medical Association.
In portion of it the analysis of
the returns respecting flfty-two CEN
turians are given; of these sixteen were
males and thirty-six females. Eleven
ofthese were single (ten being females)
five were married, and thirty were
widowed. Out of fifty returns three
only were in atfluent circumstances,
twenty-eight were comfortable, and
nineteen poor; of these nine were fat
eight being females), twenty were
spare, and eighteen of average con-
dition. Twenty-Five were erect in
figure and twenty-five were bent.
Out of thirty-fve returns twenty
eight used glasses, seven did not; but
OF these four were poor, six had used
glasses from forty to fifty years, five
for thirty to thirty five, four for ten
to twenty, two for four to six years,
five for many years." two for few
years. For among these one had
used spectacles for many years, but
for the last twelve years had been
able to read without them; another
had not used them for twelve years,
another, mot tor many years." but
one cannot now get them strong
enough.
Out of forty-seven returns forty
had a good digestion.
Out of forty-eight, thirty-six had
good appetities, two bad, and ten
moderate. Of forty-six, twenty-five
were moderate eaters, nine small and
twelve large. In regard to alcohol,
fifteen took none, twenty-four little
six were moderates, and one was
used to a good deal of beer. OF AMI
NAL food, three took none, ten mod
crate, twenty-five little, two very lit
tie, and one much.
Out of thirty-nine, twenty-six
could say that their memory was
good, six bad and seven moderate.
Of forty-ive seven smoked much
(foUr being women), two little Zone
woman), three moderately Zone a
woman).
Out of forty, thirty-seven did not
take snuff. AS to sleep. out of forty,
thirty-two were good sleepers, five
bad and seven moderate.
From thirty-five returns the aver
age time of going to bed was 9
O'Clock; but one retires at II and one
at11, five at 7; seven are bedridden.
The average time of rising was about
8 o'clock, but six rose at 6 O'Clock,
one ats, nine at 10, one at II, and
one at 4 Pm
Out of forty-two returns, twenty
four had no teeth, and from thirty
eight returns but four had artificial
teeth; yet in men about eighty the
average number of teeth is only six
and in women three.
In twelve returns the average age
when married among the males was
%, and the females 25, and the aver
age number of child rem is, from the
returns received, six to seven.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Souvenirs of the War,

The library OF the Seventh regiment con-
tains a new treasure. 1t is an album of
about seventy-five Photographic views
taken along the line of Sherman's march
through Georgia, 1t was recently given to
the regiment by James Osborne Wright, a
former member OF tho Sixth company.
Among the first OF the views is group pict-
ure of Gen. Sherman and his staff, bearing
on its margins the autographs OF Gen. Grant
and Gen. Frank P. Biair. At the bottom
of one OF the views--that of the scene OF
Gen. Sherman's attack at Mission Ridges
the following notation: 'At this attack
commanded the Fifteenth Army Corps un-
der Gen. Sherman. / recollect the
scene very well. We lost very
heavily, and especially among the
officers, of whom many most valuable men
were killed and wounded. But we were
rewarded by the official report of Gen.
Grant, in which it is recorded that we per-
Mai Gen. volsS Another Of s the !, p b,a
graphs is OF the scene OF Gen. McPherson's
death. On the lowar margin of the picture
is written: There was q small wood across
the head of the valley, by which McPher-
son was trying to reach the Seventeenth
corps when he UNEXPECTEDLY met his death.
He was brought to me at the Howard house
about halt an hour after, perfectly dead.
[Eignedl w. T. Sherman, Mai. Gen.
Another new acquisition to the REGIMENT ID
statue in bronse of national guardsman.
presented by Howard N. Lockwood. -AfNew
York Sun.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
PLEASE HAND YOUR LETTERS
TO THE POSTMASTER.

Postmaster Ingesrsoll was at work
inside when tap, tap, came on his little
window. He pulled it open and re-
ceived a letter. He said nothing.
A moment later, tap, tap, again.
Another handful of letters. The post
master glared but said nothing.
Again tap, tap. This time it was an
innocent but irritable stranger. The
window flew open and he handed his
letter in. Postmaster Ingersoll's
choler burst forth.
"You blank dashed to thunder, blank
and double-blanked fool you, why
don't you put your plankety dashed
letter in the box there?"
The stranger was equal to the occa-
sion.
"You blank dashed, glibbering idiot,
what's the matter with you? Pm only
doing what you told me to-"
"Never spoke to you, blank you"
"Well, your blanked sign, then"
SCOT no sign, you Internal lunatic!"
bawled the postmaster, fairly dancing
in rage.
you're liarI 1t says Hand your
letters to the postmaster and that's
what I'm doing"
Ingersoll grasped the situation and
went outside to look at the thing.
otis that Internal Stimson's work,
blank him." said he. If l could catch
him I'd. It's on me, stranger; yours
truly will do the proper thing"
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
HINnoo MAGIC.
Account Of the Wonderful Feast
Known AZ tina ChIrAsa DuCL

Account of the Wonderful Feast
Known as the Chinese Duck
Trick.
"a few years ago l was stopping IN
the city of Allahabad, near the CEN
ter of India, on the Indian Peninsula
railway, giving performances in the
Railway theater," says traveller.
Every day party of native jugglers
were in the habit of visiting our hotel
and exhibiting their skill on the plaza
in front of the building,
Zone day was particularly at
tracted by an old Hindoo, his son and
daughter, who squatted down on the
grom1 and waited for the crowd of
sight -seers to gather round. They did
not have long to wait. When enough
spectators had come to ma Ike the per-
Torrance profitable the old fellow
drew from the bag that all Indian Jug
glers use to convey their properties
in small earthenware Jar, filled with
muddy water He first sprinkled a
few drops of water on the ground and
then placed the jar upon three small
stones, which he also took from the
bag
He then produced a small china
duck and gave it to me for inspection.
found nothing noticeable about it.
He asked me to put it in the water.
did so and it Immediately sunk to
the bottom. He next drew from the
bag a small tomtom, little musical
instrument that emits a drumming
sound when the handle is turned, and
began waving it around the jar.
INSTANTLY the duck rose to the sur
face. He toldm me to touch it. tried
to do so, when the bird again disap-
peared, to reappear again and again
at the juggler's will. must confess
that | was mystifed. There was APP
parently no cause for the strange &C.
tions of the little bird. 1t was only
after the third or fourth visit of the
cOnjurOr that | discovered the secret
of the trick"
sit was particularly bright, sunny
day and had chosen a place among
the spectators slightly nearer than the
others were allowed. l was behind
the scenes, as it were. While attentive
ly watching the trick noticed in the
sunshine the sparkle of a long hair
that extended from the tomtom to
the bottom of the jar"
The moment | saw this l OWNED
the jugger's secret, and afterwards
found that my theory was correct.
The jar already contained china
duck, precisely similarto the one l had
examined, save that it was buoyant.
Attached to the breast otthis duck was
the hair. This hair came through a
tiny hole in the bottom of the jar.
The water was sprinkled on the ground
to conceal any leakage. When the jar
was placed upon the ground the hair
was fastened so that the duck could
not rise to the surface"
! "As the juggler picked up his tom
| tom it was an easy matter for him to
fasten the end of the hair to it by
means of a bit of wax. After this was
arranged you can see how easily he
was able to make this counterfeit
duck bob up and down at the work OF
command"
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
This Father was a Schemer.

A young man with baby in his
arms stood on the southwest corner
of Fourteenth street and Sixth
avenue the other evening, says the
New York Evening Sun. The baby
was at peace with itself, the young
man who held it, and the world in
general. The young man didn't ap-
pear so well satisfied. He looked
quite anxious and i'll at ease. He
had been standing there with the
baby in his arms for almost an hour
when two young men standing on
the opposite corner enjoying the
situation, crossed the street and
walked up to him.
81 say old chappie, where did you
get that KIDD"
"a young lady asked me to hold
it for her q few moments while she
went into Macy's," answered the
young man, beginning to look as If
he wished she hadn't.
''She did, Ell? Well, the best thing
you can do is to take the child up to
police headquarters and report the
case. That mother has deserted the
baby"
II don't believe it, said the holder
of the baby, but the expression on
his face seemed to belle the statement.
"You DON'T" exclaimed the second
young man. "I'll bet you $5 to 81
that it's a fact"
"I'll take the bet" and the money
was put up.
About five minutes later a very
trim little lady came out OF Macy's
with her arms full of bundles.
ooh, John, how long I've kept you
waiting. Has baby been behaving
itself? Come to its mother poor lit
tie dear. What, you've got to see a
friend? All right; hurry up"
And as the couple walked off the
young gents on the corner could hear
the fond father say,
'sSes, 1t will just buy baby that car
riage yon want SO badly"
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
STIMSON'S Little JOKE.

How Pueblo's Postmaster Was
Worked Into Fearful Rage.
The reputation that Pueblo gained
as being a lively town few years
back was due to the unselfsh efforts
of some of her citizens-young fellows
full of vim and go. They up to all
sorts of Jokes, and the leader in all
their pranks was the present massive
deputy United States marshal in
Denver, Stimson. The postmaster
at this time was one Ingerson, whose
official position robbed him of all
ability to take joke, Ineonsequence,
he was frequent butt. A favorite
trick of the jokes was to do up a
piece OF meat, mark some fictitious
address on it, and pop it in the office,
where it would remain until the odor
became uncomfortable.
The climax was reached when q
close fitting piece of tin was one day
placed over the outside letter chute,
bearing neat label:
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Fasting as a Cure-All.

The latest craze at the capital is
tasting for dyspepsia and other dis,
eases of the digestive organs. DR..
Fisher, the high priest of the starva-
ton doctrine, is making more money
than any other physician in town,
though his prescriptions are very sim
pie: Don't eat anything for eight
days" or ten days or fifteen, as the
case may be, is the formula. Some OF
the most prominent society people Of
the city have tasted from ten to
eighteen days, and they claim to have
received benefit. Mrs. Harrison, who
has been troubled by gastritis, is try.
ing the fasting remedy in a modified
form Washington special Chicago
Herald.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Tuesday Feb. "a.
SENATE.

A resolution introduced by Senator Ste
Vens providing for joint committee to in
vestfgate the state fish hatchery was adopted.
A bill introduced by Senator Stevens pro-
vides that beginning with the general mu-
nicipal election of 1892 the corporation at
torney of St. Paul shall be elected by the
people, the same as other city officers, and
shall hold Office for two years.
Senator Hompe presented bill which re-
quires that all personal references to peo-
pie made by the newspapers, including dis
cussions of their political views or actions,
shall be signed byehe writer's in each and
every instance.
Senator Deans bill appropriating moneyto
reimburse the city Of St. Paul is for the pur-
pose of securing payment for the pavement
about the state capitol and grading along
the state fair grounds. The amount called
for is 81, 1870.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05

Like another tcOna0n
the one who's used DR.. Pierce's
Farorite Prescription. She's 3
stronger and happier woman
and a healthy one. The aches
pains, and weaknesses, that made
life miserable are gone-the func
tional disturbances or irregularities
that caused them have been cured
Face and figure show the change
TOO. Health has restored the
charms that rightfully belong to
her. For all the weaknesses and
ailments peculiar to Womanhood:
"Favorite Prescription is a posi-
tive remedy. No other medicine
for women is guar 0ntee1, as this is
to give satisfaction in every case,
or the money is refunded. It's pro.
prietors are willing to take the risk.
What it has done, warrants them
in guaranteeing what it will do.
It's the cheapest medicine you
can buy, because it's guaranteed to
give satisfaction, or your money is
returned.
You only pay for the good you
get.
Can you ask more?
That's the peculiar plan all DR..
Pierce's medicines are sold on.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
Monday, Feb, %.
SENATE.

The senate met at 2 o'clock yesterday
afternoon, and the members appeared
somewhat refreshed after the vacation, as
a motion to adjourn, made Immediately
after the approval OF the journal, was de-
ieated by vote OF p to 4.
s. +. No. 354-By Senator Craig-Reappor'
tioung the state into congressional districts
s. II, No. 855-By Senator Donnelly-Amend-
ing General Laws relating TO county commits
siouers and care OF poor.
The bill authorizing the city of Mankato to
donate to the general government site Tor q
public building was passed under suspension OF
the rules
The senate adjourned until 10 o'clock this
morning.
Senator Craig, chairman of the senate
committee on reapportionment, yesterday
introduced a bill reapportionng the state
into seven congressional districts, in &C.
cordance with the bill passed by congress
which gives Minnesota seven congressman
instead of five. The bill is not q commit
tee bill, but embraces Senator Craigs per-
sonal ideas of what the new superintendent
should be. The basis oil the bill is the pop
ulatiOn, according to the census Of 1890.
HOUSE.
When the house assembled at 5 o'clock
yesterday afternoon Mr.. Bell drew the at
tention OF Mr.. Bjorge, speaker pro tenn, to
the fact that copies of the journal were not
on the desks OF members, as the rules pro-
vided, and that the rules would have to be
suspended. A vote to suspend the rules re-
vealed the fact that there were sixty mem
bers in the house. 48 of whom voted aye
and II no. There not being sufficient votes
to suspend the rules the motion was lost,
but the house by unanimous consent de-
cided to proceed with business, and the jour
nal was read.
Mr.. McAllister moved that the house
adjourn until 10 o'clock the following
morning, out of respect to the memory OF
the late, lamented Gen. George Washing
ton. This, the house by vote OF AZ to 8
declined to do, and the reports of commit
tees were read.
The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-03-05
HOUSE.

After the reading OF the journal and a
brief but Intellectual petition by the chap
lain several protests from various railroad
employees bro:herhoods and clubs were re-
ceived and filed.
Mr.. Ringwald asked that Mr.. Bearings
bills be placed in general orders and strick-
en- from the calendar, but his request was
refused by vote of 43 to II. The allure OF
this move on Mr.. Ringwald's part demon
strated that the house was inclined to favor
Mr.. Bearings bills, and such being the case
all opposition to the bills i'll the house
ceased, and ii they are to be fought over it
will be in the senate.
The bill introduced by Mr. Barrett is to
authorize the railroad ard warehouse COM
missioners to appoint an expert to test and
examine and adjust all scales, weights and
measures used in grain elevators, mills and
other places where grain is weighed in this
state. 1t provides that any person chang
ing the adjustment made by the'expert or
refusing him tree access shall be liable to a
fine of 800 for each offense. The salary of
the expert is to be fixed by the railroad
commissioners and paid out OF the grain
inspection fund