St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1891-11-26
THANKSGIVING HUMOR.


.'spoiled" children are always
fresh. - Harper's Bazaar.
I'VE must have an organ to sup
port u.s." as the man said to his
monkey Baltimore American.
A child was asked what dust was
and she said, Dust is mud with the
Juice squeezed out. The same child
said that "snow was popped rain
Harper's Bazaar.
recently performed four marriage
ceremonies in twenty minutes, re-
marked the Rev. Dr. Thirdly, THAT
was a the rate of twelve knots an
hour" added Miss Flypp.
Tony, me husband, bayn
Italian, wanted to give the baby
an Italian name; but l, of course,
bayn Irish. wanted him to have
name with Mac in it, so we settled
the ma tier by calling him Macaroni.-
[Harper's Bazaar.
In Market. First lady to second.
How much better you look" Sec
ond. Eyes, 1 feel better. The doctor
told me to take exercise and long
rides, and I have been to three
funerals this week. Still, Ihatet go
when the parties are perfect stran-
gers Philadelphia Record.
want you to tell the truth without
any evasion. Had you or had you
not any alteration with the prisoner
before this event you speak of? Wit
ness-Well, to own up, we did go in
to the bar to take something, but l
don't think that was the name of it.
II Courier Journal.
rustic deacon had to announce
that the Rev. Hugh Price Hughes,
M. A, would "star" it at the chapel.
What he did announce was, The
Rev. Hugh Price Hughes Ma will
preach" he added with that love Of
amplifcat ton which is habitual in his
class: eve hope the old lady will
give us a good discourse. > Living
Church
1t is Not all of Life to Board.-"At
the time of her DEATH" said Wilkins,
Mrs. Captain Binnacle was in her
husbands ship at Yokohama. She
had lived on board sixteen years."
Poor thing! poor thing!" murmured
Bilyers, mo wonder she died! I've
been trying to live on board for not
more than half that time, and it has
nearly killed me-. - Boston Post
The other day Boston publishing
house, which had recently bought
out an edition of 1.-The Complete
Angler" received a letter addressed
to Izaac Walton, Esq. 1t was from
a clipping bureau, informing that
gentleman that his book was at
tracing considerable attention, and
requesting to be allowed to send no.
tices from all papers in the United
States and Canada Boston Her
aid.
A Mastery Hint.-It was in the
early days of California. A friendly
game was in progress, and one of the
players was rendered noticeable by
the loss Of an eye. The game pro-
crossed quietly for some time, but
the luck was very one-sided until one
of the gentlemen interested drew his
pistol and placed it on the table.
Somebody's chea tim" he remarked;
''chea tin all the game. l don't men
ton no names, but if that cheatin
don't stop whoever it is will lose his
other eye Judge.
One story from the American
Board is almost too good to be true !;
viz, that one Pittsfeld lady report
ed to the committee that she could
spare five rooms, but that they must
send her one live missionary, man
from the Canniba1 Islands being pre-
ferred, and if he had been a little
gnawed, so much the better. The
committee rose TO the occasion and
sent her Mr.. Nordhoff, formerly of
the Fejee Islands! We do not see
how they could have done better I'M
less they had assigned to her house
an Eaton family Congregational
ist.