The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-10
TO GET ON IN SOCIETY
Mrs. Sherwood Tells Young Men
What to Do and Not Do.
THE PROPER CLOTHES TO WEAR
70 Dance Well II Almost Indispensable
BE . Gentlemen-How to BE-
como Acquainted.

S~SAAA RA<POStCAOaSAy SkoOOK6tC 0lt0
absurd to the denizens of cities and to
those who have had the manual of society
at their fingers ends from childhood, but
they again may be like the grammar of an
unknown tongue to the youth or maiden
whose life has been spent in seclusion or
rustic neighborhood. As it is the aim of
this unpretending volume to assist such
young people, a few hints to young men
coming fresh from life on the plains or
from an Eastern or Western college, from
any life which has separated them from
the society of ladies, may not be consid-
cred impertinent.
A young man on coming into great
city, or into new place where he is not
known, should try to bring few letters
Of introduction. If he can bring such
letter to any lady of good social
position he has nothing further to do
but deliver it, and if she takes him up
and introduces him his social position
is made.
But this good fortune cannot be COM
manded always or often. Young men
often pass through lonely life in a
great city, never finding the desired OPP
portunity.
But to some it comes through a friend
ship on cricket ground, at the clubs or
through business. If a friend says to some
ladies that Tiden is good fellow Tilden
will be sought out and invited.
1t is hardly creditable to any young man
to live in great city without knowing the
best ladies' society. He should seek to do
80, and perhaps the simplest way would be
to ask some friend to take him about and
1nfPodnoo him IND
should be particular not to transcend
the delicate outlines of social sufferance.
He must not Immediately rush into an in
timacy.
A call should never be too long. One
hour is all that woman of the world saws
should be granted to caller. This rule is
good one for an evening visit. 1t is
much better to have ones hostess wish for
longer visit than to have her sigh that
you should 60.
In . first visit gentleman should al
ways send in his card. After that he may
dispense with that ceremony.
A gentleman for an evening visit should
always be in evening dress, black cloth
dress coat, vest and pantaloons, faultless
linen and white cravat, silk stockings and
polished low shoes. A black cravat is
permissible, but it is not full dress. He
should carry crush hat in his hand, and
a cane If he likes. For dinner party a
white cravat is Indispensable; man must
wear it then. No jewelry of any kind is
fashionable excepting rings. Men can
hide their watch chains in evening dress.
The hands should be especially cared
for, the nails carefully cut and trimmed.
No matter how big or how red the hand is,
the more masculine the better. Women
like men to look manly. as if they could
drive, row, play ball, cricket, perhaps
"handle the gloves"
A gentleman's dress should be so quiet
and so perfect that it will not excite re-
mark or attention. Thackeray used to
advise that q watering pot should be
applied to new hat to take off the gloss.
The suspicion Of being dressed up" de-
feats an otherwise good toilette.
We will suppose that Tilden becomes
sufficiently well acquainted to be asked to
join theater party. He unjust be punctual
at the rendezvous, and take whatever part
ner the hostess may give him, but in the
East he must not offer to send q carriage;
that must come. from the giver of the
party. In this, Eastern and Western eti-
quette are at variance, as in certain cities
West and South q gentleman is expected
to call in q carriage and take
a young lady to party This
would be ruin in Europe, nor is it
allowed in Boston or New York. If, how
ever, Tilden wishes togive a theater party,
he must furnish everything. He first asks
lady TO chaperon his party. He must
arrange that all shall meet at his room or
friends house. He must charter an
omnibus or send carriages for the whole
party; he must buy the tickets. He is
then expected to invite his party to sup
with him after the theater, making the
feast as handsome as his means allow.
This is a favorite and proper manner for
young man to return the ciyilities Of
fered him.
1t is indispensable that he should have
the mother of one of the young ladies
present. The custom of sending such a
party with only very young chaperon
has fallen properly into disrepute. And it
seems almost unnecessary to say so ex-
cepr that the offense has been committed
Never should he force himself into any
society or go anywhere unasked.
sumes the responsibility, and it is an I'M
derstood thing that leader of society cam
take young man anywhere. She Is his
sponsor.
In the early evening a young man
should wear the heavy, loosely-fitting
English clothes now so fashionable, but
for an afternoon promenade with lady,
or for reception. frock coat tightly
buttoned, gray pantaloons, neat tie and
plain gold pin is very good form.
And this dress is allowed at a small din
ner in the country or for Sunday tea.
If men are off in the Adirondacks, if
flannel is the only wear, there is no dress
ing for dinner; but in q country house
where there are guests it is better to make
q full evening toilette, unless the hostess
gives absolution.
At any rate there should be some change.
clean linen. fresh coat, fresh shoes, ETC.,
ETC., even in the quiet retirement of ones
own home. Neatnesa, frequent baths,
much exercise In the open air, these are
the admirable customs Of young gentlemen
of the present day. Ifevery one of them,
no matter how busy, how hardworked,
could come home, take warm bath and
plan. Indeed, if all American men, like
all Englishmen, would show this attention
to their wives society would be far more
elegant. A man always expects his wife
to dress for him, why should he not dress
for her? He is then ready for evening
visits, operas, parties, theaters, wherever
he may wish to go. No man should sit
down to O'Clock dinner unless freshly
dressed.
If Tilden can afford to keep tilbury or
dogcart and fine horses, so much the bet
ter for him. He can take young girl to
drive if her mamma consents but ser
want should sit behind. That is indispens-
able, and the livery, and the whole ar
rangement, should be elegant. Tilden, if
he would succeed, must not be flashy and