Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-03-07
BRAIN NATURALIZATION.
The Odd Results Obtained On the Expert
meuts Of Two Amateur.

meuts Of Two Amateurs.
J. d. In New YORK Tunes.
The amateur professor and I were sitting
together smoking in the club the other night.
and the conversation happened to turn on the
experiment now under way in this city in which
| cat and dog have been made 20 exchange
eerebellums and for the results OF which the
doctors of a Spitzka turn Of mind are now all
anNiously on the lookout
The experiment is bv no means a new one"
said the amateur professor. II tried IL myself
some years ago when l was . student under
Prof. HRckel At Jena You will have noticed
that the New York experimenters have merely
fnterchanged the back parts Of the canine and
feline brains but my colleague. who is now the
great Dr. Ssuerherring OF Berlin. and not only
performed the same operation but finally went
stu further in brain transportation. as the
| sequel Will show. Our work was splendidly
| successful and Dr. Sauerherring subsequently
wrote brochure about il. which attracted wide
attention. The cerebcllum. you know CO.
ordinates bodily movements, and in connec-
ZION with the spinal cord and the great sympa-
thetic, has much to do with digestion. the
working OF the heart and lungs instructive
acts and 90 on. The doctor and took a big
Dachshund Of the sort that Prince Bismarck
Is 80 fond OF and an enormous tomcat
made an incision in the occiput Of each. after
potu uau Deen carefully washed IN a weak sOlu-
non OF bichloride Of mercury to prevent any
harm being done by noxious bacilli bacteria,
and such things, and then. after quoting the
animals with anesthetic We inserted the
dog scerebellum into the cats head and the
cats into the dogs, sewed up the wounds. put
the beasts into CREASED molds of plaster of
paris, and left them to get along well as they
could till the tissues should be united. and they
we're by first intention and not by granulation.
as we had expected. Every once in a while
I v1-a rrrrtr% x.1
fiddle.
AT the end Of two months we cracked the
moids with a tack hammer and a schlager and
released the patients, felt their pulse,
held thermometer in their axillas ex-
amined their tongues, tested their lungs
with stethoscope, held them up by the
tail and found everything TO be quite normal.
On their release the animals were dumpish at
nrst, drowsy and semi-comatose. and with n
marked tendency to tonic and clonic spasms
Then something very closely resembling opis-
thotonos set in with the dog, and we thought
ne was about to give up the ghost. After an hour
or two however, the dog got ny. yawned. stretched
himself In fexor rather than an extensor
fashion, rubbed himself against our legs, and
presently began to purr DIR. Sauerherring
gave him a kick TO wake him mp, and then the
dog set up the most Internal mewing
you ever heard in your life. The doctor
rubbed his hands with delight loaded
AAS piS CuAnh pipe Win hanaster
and we both sat down TO await further results
In three-quarters Of an hour the cat began TO
bestir himself with temperature of ~ degrees
respiration at 104 and cardiac action normal
He looked around for a few minutes and then
commenced smelling around TO see where he
was, possibly. Satisfied that he didn't know
where he was the cat ran up to DIR. Sauerher-
ring, shifted at his carpet slippers, wagged his
tail and began to bark at me like bazes The
doctor and 1 we're In the seventh heaven and
Gil 49,
rubbed our noses together and sent out fo-
beer, which We drank in brothcrly love in a
Grossmutter holding about three-quarters of a
gallon, and not half enough at that Our great
experiment had succeeded and we should be-
come famous.
"All right! But we had stolen the cat from
the yard of a neighboring spinster and the dog
from her next-door neighbor who was an old
bachelor in love with the spinster, Mt whom he
used to smoke a big pipe out of his window
every evening when twilight gathered over the
plain We had intended to keep the animals in
our chambers in order to study the case as
thoroughly as possible. but one day, when we
were attending Prof. Schnupftbaks lecture on
Observation-Disclosures unter den Thieren
NIT Beispielen Won der Menschenthorheit in
der Universtatsleben they both jumped out of
the window and Observation-Disclosures
mind you. not intelligently-ran home lickity-
split. the dog trying to Chamber up the fence
and the cat en- ieavoring to leap over IL at a
single bound. OF course they failed most
ANONYMOUSLY and doubtless were much sur
prised at their failure. Finally, however. they
settled matters to suit their new conditions and
walked through the open gate, one to his
masters house and the other to that of his
mistress.
this afterward-hesrd a familiar barking at her
door and went down with a broomstick TO drive
Herr Faidewursfs dog away, for however
much she loved his master. she fairly hated the
sight Of his Dachshund. When she got down
TO the door. and was preparing TO give the dog
an awful whack with her broomstick, she tainted
dead away and sank to the ground with a dull
thud, for the dog set up a high-toned miaow
and wanted to rub himself against her legs
Herr Faidewurst heard thu row and ran down
stairs in his nightcap and slippers to see what
was loose with Fraulein Zuckerbein. The cat
recognized his master, wagged his
tail till il nearly fell off, barked, and
scampered about till the poor man was in
as great o state of bewilderment as the
spinster, and fell over her body in another
dead faint when he saw the cat snap at the poor
lady's legs. and the dog began 10 spit and arch
his back at him. The racket was simply awful.
The neighbors rushed in in their dressing
gowns, slippers and wooden shoes, ribbons and
petticoats, and when they found out what was
going on, with the cat growing and barking at
the dog and the dog splitting fire and brim-
| stone at the cat, with tail swel.ed TO twice its
natural size and standing up stiff as a poker.
they, TOO, the nelgnDors, all tainted away and
dropped heavily and gasping TO the ground
BY this time the dog was mp on the housetop.
startling the storks out of all propriety. and
the cat had gone to lie down in the Kennel and
gnaw a bone.
Then more neighbors came running in.
and, not seeing the cause of the rumpus but
observing all the poor creatures stretched out
hfeless, there was a terrible hubbub. Police
and doctors were hastily summoned. but of
course they could make nothing of the affair.
The common opinion of the people was how
ever, that the place was bewitched, cast under
some magic spell or other, and when Fraulein
Zuckerbein at last came to and screamed .Ach
der Humid list cine Hexe. Err list cine Katzer
and Herr Faidewurst roared Die Katie list nur
Elm Teufelshund! Heileges Kreuz and Donner-
wetterr this opinion was confirmed. You never
saw such a rowdy dow in your born DAYS and
ncver-unless the New York experiment should
succeed-are you likely to see such another
"Both DIR. Sauerherring and myself were
greatly chagrined at our carelessness in letting
the animals escape, but it couldn't be helped
now. For all practical purposes SO far as
our own theory was concerned, the expert
ment, however, had been all that we could
have desired. Some fools had shot the dog
and drowned the cat, since such singular con-
duct as that of the beasts could not be toler-
ated in any self-respecting community. So we
got another dog and another cat. and this time
we interchanged their cerebrums instead of their
cerebellums. The results as in the former
case, were eminently satisfactory. Nv col
league, DR.. Sauerherring was a great hunter