Morning journal and courier., 1891-01-17
EXPLAINED.

Teacher-Now, Johnny, you may ex-
plain to me the difference between a king
and a president. John-Kings are
born and presidents get there.-Buffalo
Express.
'T came here said the youth to the
Boston girl, ''for little rest and peace of
mind" "Ah!" said she, ''you appear to
have the peace of mind; when do you ex-
pect the restr-New York Sun.
Lawyer-Well, sir, We won the case, but
it was pretty narrow victory. Client
Yes, thought the other side had us until
you showed that their principal witness
was -Munsey's Weekly
Professor-Historically which is the
older bird, the dove or the stork! Study
/ haven't given the matter any study, pro-
fessor, but have no hesitancy in saying
that the stork is of longer standing.-Bos-
ton Courier.
Spacer-The point of your jokes, old
man, is like that of a needlel Liner
All, delighted You find the point of a
needle sharp, I supposed Spacer-I re
ferred more particularly to its size.-New
York Herald.
Sure as Sure can Be.-'I wish 1 could
have q second term" said the President
81 think 1 would disappoint fewer
friends" every likely" returned Lige.
''In fact, its certain. You have fewer to
disappoint. Puck.
Little Emma at the concert-What is the
man striking the lady foTs Her mamma
He is not striking her He is only beating
time for the musicians. Little Emma
Well, then, what makes the lady scream
like that-Lynn Item.
Infantile Curiosity.-Little Johnny
Teacher, do the angels wear any clothes.
Female Teacher-No, Johnnie, they do
not. Little Johnnie-They don't, chr
Well, what do they take of when they go
in swimmings-Texas Siftings
al never saw a man that knows less"
HE isn't very brilliant, that's true"
''Why, remember when l had such a Sc
we're cold, he was the only man met that
didn't know and tell me of a sure cure for
it right of. f."-Philadelphia Times.
"I want something for my boy to work
at" said an anxious father to a friend.
''What can he do" ''Well," replied the
father with sigh, II really don't know.
He is too light for heavy work and too
heavy for light work"-Washington Star.
Plenty of Practice.-Small Boy-Pop
wants TO know if you want to buy some
layin' hensa Rural Housekeeper-Are
they good layers! Eyes, indeed. They
know all about layin'. They've been lay
in fer years and years. Street & Smiths
Good News.
Christmas Figuring -Biffers-"rm a
pretty good hand at figures, but there's
one thing can't understand about Christ
mas" Wiffers-''What's thatg'' Differs
-'sHow is it that everybody gives more
than he gets, and yet nobody gets as much
as he givesl Hang me If 1 can see what
becomes of the surplus. New York
Weekly.
Remember, boys" said the new teach
er, who, being still new at the business,
knew not what else to say to make an i'm
preston, "that in the bright lexicon of
youth there's no such word as fail After
few moments boy from Boston raised
his hand. ''Well, what is it, Socratesf
asked the teacher. 'I was merely going
to suggest, =" replied the youngster, as he
cleansed his spectacles with his handker-
chief, "that if such is the case it would be
advisable to write to the publishers of that
lexicon and call their attention to the omis-
sion. Montreal Star.