Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1891-06-19
THE FUNNIEST THING.
. FROG 10 TWICE AS FUNNY AS He
LOOKS, IF YOU ONLY kNs" IT.

oation. THE funniest things frog
has ever been denied, although there Is
no evidence that the man who maze II
really knew how funny frog actually
is The probabilities are that he hau
been impressed with the frogs comical
pre-eminence simply by observation OF
his external architecture as he posed In
adult picturesqueness on log ne
noticed. of course, that frog is 80 bullt
that all the neck he has is the top OF ms
head lie couldn't have failed TO OBJ
serve that the frogs mouth begins where
his shoulders leave Oft. II the observer
didn't note that the frog has TO watch
out when he sits down or he may poke
his eve out with his big toe, he failed to
eniov one of his favorite's best low com
edy hits.
And when it dawned upon him, MS it
Il must have dawned, that the drum OF
the frogs ear is worn on the outside OF
his head, being attached to the gable end
of his upper jaw, he was of course salts
fled that no further evidence was neces-
sary, and he was ready to take the world
into his confidence and utter that famous
declaration about the frogs incontest-
able claim to be placed on record as the
funniest thing that is. Yet even the
halo of drollery that surrounds the frog
Mt this ripe period of its existence is as
funeral gloom compared to the humor
of his younger days.
HIS EARLY DISCUSSES.
TIT, oLcorvar ,x-boca canfaptiona com
mentary has passed into a proverb,
shouldn't have been content with the
humor of which the mere physical con
tour of the completed frog is capable.
He should have gone bach to the time
when the frog was but protoplastic
atom, involuntarily cruising along the
border of some marshy pond, where the
muskrat burrows among the logs and
the wild flag waves its lances to the pass
ing breeze, and whose presence is worth
at least $3.50 day to the adjacent dis
penser of quinine.
He should have sought out that gluti
nous molecule He never would have
have believed that one day that inert
globule would be bumped up on bog
swapping at flies and voicing basso pro-
fundo serenades to the Silly night. He
would as soon have looked for the evo-
luton of thoroughbred racer from a
wooden saw horse. But that is just
what that globule is there for, and if this
insufficient observer had only gone back
and watched it grow up with the coun-
try he would have seen how doubly for
titled against cavil he would have been
in declaring that frogs place is at the
head of all embodiment of humor, ami
mate or inanimate, conscious Or uncon-
scious.
The frogs embryoY ic idea of fun is to
do a number OF interesting lightning
changes. His masterpiece as a molecular
comedian, and his last act in that line of
business, is to transform himself into the
living likeness and granular structure of
a mulberry. 1t is while making this hor-
ticutural display Of himself that the
whimsical creature is preparing for one
Of his most droll surprises, and he next
appears in the lively and grotesque char
acter of a fish that has mouth and rows
of teeth like shepherds, two other
mouths like ii suckers, the tail of an eel
nostrils three times as big as its mouth
II pair of gills that branch from its head
like the antlers of deer, and the diges-
tive apparatus Of grasshopperi All
three of its mouths are in a row on the
under side of its chin, the one with the
tech being in the middle.
a ROWLING SUCCESS.
This screaming presentation is known
to the small boy as the poIliwog and to
science as the tadpoe 1t is the frogs
first ambitious attempt at being really
funny 1t is an instantaneous and CIV.
clonic success But it is followed in
good time by other changes in the bill
First. the frog, in his character of polli,
wog calls in his antler like gills aud
slows them away inside of his head
somewhere, Then he springs a pair of
legs on you. They sprout out on each
side of his body just aft of the spot
where his gills soaked in, and the con.
vulsed observer says:
Hello! There's his fore legs!"
That is evidently just what the frog in
his luIicrous character wants the Oh.
server to think, for it adds to the humor-
Gus surprise that he has in store for him
when he suddenly sprouts another pair
of legs, and the observer finds that. al
though the first ones had their roots
close behind the polliwog's ears. thev
were, nevertheless, its hind legs. and
that the new legs pop out ahead of them
and, of course, are the fore legs them
selves. This joke of the frogs is SO good
that he adds still another change to bis
make up, SO that he can enjoy it himself
he gets rid of the little sheepshead
mouth and the two sucker mouths. and
takes on new mouth that reaches clear
across his face, and he looks up and
smiles an expansive smile.
During all the time that the frog mas.
querades as polliwog he gorges himself
on strictly vegetable diet, and if he had
been scooPcd out Of the water and kent
out few minutes death would have
CLAIMED him for its own But when he
mas got through with his leg show he
trades OIL his gllls for pair of lungs
changes his fish heart for the heart Of a
Feptiie' dlscards his grasshopper intesti-
MAJ arrangement for a regular set of ami.
mai dlgesters, and hauls himself out of
the water on to bog, or upon the shore
among the rushes. and cocks his buIpino
eye up at you in rollicking way. plainlS
informing you that he would be pleased
TO know what you think of him as full
blown lizard. He hasn't got a thinp
with him that he started in with as .
PoIlwog except his cells tail. He hasn't
been long land lubber before he begins
TO hump himself on the back, and TO de-.