The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-25
BRIGHT BITS.

30, Nh. Brown, your picture is absolutely
enchanting. Only one Italian word can de-
scribe it-and have forgotten that"-Flie-
gende Bldtter.
MISERY loves company, and company makes
misery for the housewife when the company
comes unexpectedly, and she has nothing
cooked in the house .-SomerUilIe Journal.
LAwYER-What is your occupation!
WItness-Tl live BY my pen.
Lawyer-Then you are an author?
Witness-No; l raise hogs philadelphia
Times.
BEREAvED W1Dow-Why, doctor you have
the effrontery to charge me $500 for treating
my poor, dear husband, and he died, after all.
Doctor-Well, didn't you collect $4,000 life
insurance?-The Epoch.
'WHY did rich Miss Croesus refuse the hand of
young Charley Poor?"
She had an idea somehow that her green
back fortune wouldn't go very well with his au-
burn complexion.
WHAT do you know about the dissolution of
parliament the managing editor asked of the
new man at the foreign desk.
Nothing" he said innocently; Il didn't
know it was dissolute at all Washington Stor.
TEAoHER-When the wise men came TO the
king what did they say:
BBoySIhey sad Is, king, live forever
Boy-And inrheAiMelythe king lived forever
Life. SE' IsR
MH. VAN STUMP, SqSpeW That you want to
30. beg you just ask my fatherl He will
tell you the last thing ever think of is money"
-kLiegsnde Halter.
Mr.. HAyNEs-Mrs. Hautton, do you know
your neighbors, the Joneses?
Mrs. Hautton-No.
Mr.. Haynes-Why, they told me they knew
you.
Mrs. Hautton-So they do. believe-P,tck.
PERrMAN-They say you can make a joke
Van Leer--Yes. John Jones married for
money, but he got left.
Pertman-I don't see any joke about that.
Van Leer-NeitAer did John JONES' Harper's
Bazaar.
FIRST TRAvELER-I was in Paris during the
siege.
Second Traveler-I was in New York during
the draft riots. z-sst..s.r.
Third Traveer-I was in Scotland when the
railway strikers paraded the streets with bag
pipes.-NelC YORK Weekly
I'VE READ these effusions, the editor said,
As he threw down the verses he'd hastily read
'Iwlxt the pauses in newspaper carving,
And this can say with a Judgment mature:
II the poets as poor as his verses I'm sure
He's in imminent danger of starving"
Boston Courier.
ToMMY-Paw, what is ''true-blu party
mann"
Mr.. Flgg-He's man who votes the straight
nal. IA
'No, DON'T want any lawn-mower," said the
man who was anxious to chase the agent away.
What desire is more lawn. Washington
Post.
DIME MUSEUM VISITOR to bearded lady)-I
say mum, wouldn't you like to turn good
penny by carrying little side line?
Bearded Lady-Wel. what is it?
Dime Museum Visitor-It's just this; you'd be
Just as big a curiosity in mustache and burn
sides. Shave your chin. and take an agency to
boom Lather's shaving soap. I'm Lather, and
l can fix ye out good.-PGek.
MRS GREYNEcK-Now, just see what you have
done, | told you to watch those rubbers, and
when they were dry to take them away from
the fire; and here they are, burned to a perfect
crisp.
Mr., Greyneck-I want to know
Mrs. Greyneck-You want to know? Can't
you smell anything? smelt them a block down
the street.
Mr. Greyneck-O. yes; smet them, but
thought Dudeeigh upstairs was smoking a
cigarette.-Boston Courier.