Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-05-15
A LECTURE ON WIDOWS.
POLICEMAN CONTROvERTs MR.
WELLER'S FAMOUS REMARK.

Married Women wns Had Lost Their
husbands and HsNe Lived Happily-A
Question That Ruffied the Sergeant.
III was hive minutes past l on Sunday
morning in the Thirtieth street station
house. Captain Reilly was fast asleep in
his room restoring in sweet slumber the
wear and tear of the Arion festival, and
sergeant Oliver Tins, the scholar, leaned
back in his chair behind the desk, put the
tips of his fingers together and cast his
eyes up to the ceiling after the manner of
the stained glass saints in church windows,
and began to ponder.
The interesting thing about the situa-
ton was that the hour of los a. m. on Sun
DAY Is the time that the police of Captain
Reilly's command all concede is properly
devoted to bordering by all true philoso-
pliers, and so, by common consent, nobody
lnterferes with Sergeant Tins when he
leans back in his chair at this particular
hour every Sunday and gives himself up
TO thought
w hen the sergeant had looked at the
celIlng Tor ten minutes a young man with
an elongated brown overcoat and an En-
glish setter tcotting at his heels opened the
door of the station and gave the police
philosopher wished for opportunity to
make public the substance of his peaceful
and enlightened reflections. The rudy
checked sergeant fairly beamed with smiles,
and he fred off the thoughts instantly in
the following surprising fashion:
THE DISSERTATION.
1.-The pages of history glow with eulogie5
of widows, my boy. Have you ever re-
Elected uppn the instructive fact that some
of the most famous men of the world have
married widows? There was King Charles
MI and Frederick the Great and Admiral
Nelson, and the First Napoleon and George
Washington and Lord Beaconsfield and
ever so many more noted for their genius
and for thos = attributes that fit men to be
leaders of their fellow men"
The sergeant stopped to take breath and
| the setter sat on her launches and gazed
at him with a sort of fascination and tried
to get through the railing to shake hands
| with him.
Then you don't agree with the late Mr..
| Weller!" ventured the young man with
| the elongated brown overcoat
| what! the man who said, 'Samivel, be-
ware of the viddersp" exclaimed the ser
| geant, with disapprobation. mo my bow
do not agree with Mr.. Weller He was
wrong, all wrong"
To what do you attribute the choice of
the great men you have named?" asked
| the young man. There were plenty of
maidens around in those days as now"
| Il ascrlbed the selection of widows by
| these brilliant men to their superior intel
! lgenCe. They were men of rare good judy
| ment, and they reasoned that the women
whom they chose understood men and
were already trained in the management
of homes. They were men, you see, who
| did not care to run any risks of the matri-
monial lottery, which / may be permitted
to describe simply as marriage with women
| who have never been married before.
HARD QUESTION SOLVED.
"The widows whom Nelson and Napo-
leon and Washington and the other great
men married had already earned an hon
orable fame as excellent wives, and there
could therefore be no chance of disappoint-
ment in wedding them. And you will OBJ
serve, if you examine the pages of history,
that they made most admirable wives to
their second husbands, just as they were
devoted and useful to their first. AS the
pursuit of happiness is one of the chief
ends of man, according to the Declaration
of Independence and common sense, and as
a well considered marriage is a sure road
to happiness, therefore it follows don't
you see, my boy, that to marry widow
who has proved her ability to make good
wife is the best policy to pursue in the
pursuit of happiness and will quickest
yield the result sought for"
The police orator rubbed his hands to-
gether, and the setter gave a delightful
bark. Very good, and very elegantly
put" said the young man in the elongated
overcoat But" and he leaned over the
railing, and his voice grew solemn, IF all
the men who believe in marriage an in
stitution are to marry widows, Mr.. Tins
what is to become of the maidens? You
surely wouldn't deprive them of a show"
The studious sergeant sat bolt upright
with start. He scratched his head and
looked up at the ceiling. He had struck 6
snag in the suggestion of the young mar
with the setter.
True, very true" he muttered. ''Let
me see, now. What could we do with the
maidens?" Then his face frightened again
II have it. Let them marry and become
widows, of course, and then they will be il
the field all right" He leaned back in tn,
chair once more with that air of satisfac
ton that marks the man who has tri
umphed over an obstacle.
NEW QUESTION.
Just then the station door opened ant
two weeping women came in and walked
ND to the railing They were both dressed
in black.
sWell, ladies', what's the matter? Wha
can / do for you." the sergeant asked IL
kindly tone. A very curious look cam
into his face when one of the women, be
tween her sobs, told her story. Boiled
down to facts it was this:
"a year ago l married man who hat
lost his wife the year before. was wild
ow. He has turned out to be a very wick
ed man. He beats me and has just drivel
me out of the house, and ] want him al
rested"
The sergeant directed the woman to g
TO Jefferson market and get warrant 10
the arrest of the perfdious widower, an
wheeled around with his back to the RAJ
ing and stared hard at the wall.
Sergeant" ventured the young ma
with the overcoat, after long and painfu