The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-12
NOODLES HAs A LATCH KEY.
Nevertheless He Falls Into q Very
Disagresable Predicement


From the Washington Star.
The day before he was married Noodles
remarked to some OF the boys at the Platy-
pus Club that he had no use for a club from
that time on, and that he would merely re-
tain bis membership for the name Of the
thing.
That was six weeks ago. He stayed away
Ike man tor q month, and then-it was
just about fortnight back-he strolled In,
as OF old, and permitted John (all club
servants are named john to relieve him of
his coat, hat aud siIver-klobbed cane. The
fellows welcomed him like long-lost prodi-
gal, and We'd with one another as to who
should have the pleasure Of asking him TO
take something the oftenest. Under the
genial influence Of couple OF well-con-
St ucted cocktails be expanded, as was
formerly his wont, and. as usual had
little experience Of personal nature TO re-
late.
81 say. you fellows" he began. 81 was
just gong TO remark when SniffKins
touched the bell thai do most thoroughly
dlsapprovs Of this plan Of building block
oil houses all of them exactly alike. OF
course it is an economical scheme from the
builders point of view, mas nucR as he uses
the architects ideas over and over without
extra cost, but it sometimes works unfor-
tunately. There is one person in this town
VINO has actually put up three different
groups OF six dwellings, each in different
parts OF the northwest section, all Of them
beg inning at the southeast corner and abb
solutely similar in every outward respect.
50 that man, not considering the streets,
put merely the houses, would be very apt
to find his own residence at some
one else'S domicile. Now, l contend
that such a method is all wrong. 1t
ought 10 be considered that even the most
sober individual. habiJually, may be led
away on an occasion to the extent of an in
1adlciously Gddel drink, but there is GER
talnly room for such an error on the part of
citizen entirely in possession OF his most
acute faculties, as arch lecture goes now.
40 illustrate: vas invited lest night tn
a stag dinner. It was the first night since
my marriage that have been absent from
home. l was very abstemious, and il was
not much after 10 when | returned. Open
ing the door with my latch key, l was
somewhat surprised to find an old gentle
man with gray whiskers in the hallway
How do you do, sirF he said, very po-
litely.
Very well, thank you I replied.
Then there was pause, which appeared
to me extremely awkward. Evidently as
supposed, he was an ncquRlntance of my
wife's, who had called, found her gone to
bed, and was taking MS departure. To re-
heve the situation | said:
"'I am MIR. Noodles.
'lndeedr he replied. Charmed to meet
you, Pm sure.'
Mrs. Noodles has gone to bed, pre-
sumo said.
"'Indeedr he responded. 1T is early
yet
Eyes said. She told me before went
! out this evening that she would probably
retire early, inasmuch as she felt rather
tatlgued after days shopping
Presumably she will feel better in the
morning. replied the old gentleman, still
lingering unaccountably as 1t seemed to me.
Doubtless said. 1t will give me
great pleasure. at all events, to convey to
her your compliments, if may
"'By all means, acQuiesced the old gen.
tlenan. Pray do So
"Still, he made no movement to 90, and
thinking of nothing further that could be
| said, began to feel a tri1e embarrassed.
Permit me 10 open the door, | re-
| marked. Some of these latch catches are
difficult
~ should have saved you that trouble
said the old gentleman, coming forward.
BY nc means | protested. DO you
propose to ride or walkp
This very innocent observation of mine
appeared to occasion the old gentlemen
some astonishment
~ NV shluA you,
he replied
81 raised my voice a little, supposing that
he must be somewhat deaf, and said:
81 merely wished to ask whether you
proposed TO take horse car or notr
The old gentleman gazed upon me some.
what strangely, and finally replied:
You do not appear to be intoxicated
''He said it, you know, just as If he had
| always known of me as person addicted
to overindulgence in stimulants and as
though he were astonished to meet me for
oncs in a condition of sobriety.
Therefore, he added, 4 must suppose
that you are insane have no use what
ever for horse car nor yet for a freight
train. The police will doubtless attend to
your conveyance back to the asylum. So
permit me to bid you goodnight
While he was speaking faint light had
Suddenly dawned upon me. l gasped and
said:
"'Will you kindly tell me what is the
number of this housep
"The old gentleman mentioned it. With
out pauslng to offer al apology 1 sprang
out OF the door, ran down the steps aud en-
tered my own house, two doors below. But
the joke, you know, is on the archi cot He
not only made the houses in the row alike.
but one latch key opens all the front DOORS"