Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-09-24
THE JOKER's BUDGET.
VESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Didn't Mean It-Force OF Habitat
Ball Game-IndHlgence, Etc.,
Etc.


DIDN'T MEAN 1T.
Jonjones-You are really pretty, Miss
Brown, but your sister is very homely.
Miss Brown-My sister wouldn't like
to hear you say that.
Jonjones-Oh; you mustn't mind me.
| never mean what l say Yankee
Blade.
FORCE OF HABIT.
Blushing Girl-Yes, Dick, my heart
is in your keeping.
Young Baggageman--My own darling!
Er-want check for it?- Chicago
Tribune.
AT A BALL GAME.
Noyice-Which one Of the players do
you call the catcherg
Chronic-That fellow with mask on,
that just called out "foul"
Novice-Why, was given to under
stand that was the umpire.
Chronic-Some people call him that,
but he's really the catcher; he catches
all the abuse of the ''rootsrs. - Boston
Courier.
INDULGENCE.
Stan. de Rowpde-May / see you
home?
May Knott good naturedly)-Yes; you
may watch me start Puck.
GUILrLEss.
81 hear you played the cornet at the
concert"
"No. / sent substi-toot."
AN ANCIENT wRANGLE ENDED.
"Well, I'll acknowledge that we're
both black, said the Pot to the Kettle,
after consideration. "Does that suit
your"
Eyes, I'm sooted, if you are
Puck.
PArERNAL ILLUSTRATIONS.
Young Husband-Amy, what makes
that baby yell in that way?
Young Wife-His teeth, dear.
Young Husband-Oh, if that's all I'll
1880. g. Slvatiss anu Iuvo unem pulleu
out Judge.
HOW SHE sMoTE HIM.
"Harry," said Fort street wife to
her husband, Il want hundred dol
lars"
"A hundred what?" exclaimed the hus-
band.
dollars, she replied, calmly.
'sWhat fort"
'Oh, whole lot of things"
'Um-um," he hcsitated, 81 guess
shall have to check your extravaganza,
my dear"
DO" she smiled, "and make it pay
able to my order, please"
He collapsed then and there Detroit
Free Press.
PREFERRED THE SMOKING.
That man was in the best of humoi
when he climbed OH the cable car. He
was smoking cigar. Now and then he
would lift the seed Havana from his lips
and strike up two or three bars of song
! IIhAndfAdf1ught DR. 1o from the cISur:
A woman sat by his side, tidgeting un
der the smoke and fairly rebelling at tho
song. All the passengers suffered, bu
they suffered in silence till at length thu
happy man struck up:
"Oh, Genevieve, sweet Genevieve -
when the woman interrupted;
''Oh, smoke-smoke," she cried impa
tiently; Il would rather smell your ciga
than listen to your song. "-lChicag
Herald.
EXCESSIVE CAUTION.
Mother (horri6ed) What did you lie
that young Snipkins kiss you for:
Daughter (meekly)-For only two min
utes, mamma, and then | told him it wa
time to stop Detroit Free Press.
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT.
Ethel-NIiss Wabash is quito aristC
cratic, isn't she?
Maud-No, but her complexion is quit
highly toned.
4 -s-- GESUINE ADMIRATION. -----
Miss YellOwleaf-The older one get
the proverb says, the more one knows.
Miss Freshleaf-What an immens
amount you must know Miss Yellowlea
COMMON SENSE ANSWER.
/ Teacher-What sort of a sign was
! that the "stiff necked generation" WEI
! seeking for?
: Pupil-If they had stiff necks the
. were probably looking for drug sto
sign.
!, RESULT OF HOTEL BILLS.
2 Shc-The days are growing short'
d now, aren't they!
}. He-Yes, and so am L. Munsey.
+ WILL FARE WELL now.
Jake (aftcr quorreD-Miss Below
a farewell.
2 Cora-Thanks! think I'll have
= = chance to fare well after getting rid
% you.
70 A TRUE BILL.
Is The man can whistle, quoth uncle job
:. Who knows not poverty's ill,
4 But he's not 80 blitho whom his money
@ gone
And his creditors send their bills.
y. When the pocket is empty the heart
- sad,
20 And burden is on the mind,
G. And II isn't easy to whistle, my lad,
u When you cannot raise the wind.
lg II Boston Courier.
A DANGEROUS PLACE.
le "Hear about Chappieg'
h "No."
a "Got tossed by a bull on Wall street
d "Hurt?"
v "Broke. New York Herald.
er VALUED LIGHTLY.