Tombstone epitaph., 1891-07-26
oouRTRooM cosTuMEs
Fine Clothes Employed to Influence the
 Judge and Jury.

Judge and Jury.
 Although a woman's gowns frequent ly deserve and receive honorable men ton. like a brand of balSing-powder at a national exhibit. there are only three times in her life--it may be four if she is Amcrican-whcn they are entered for the blue ribbon, says a writer in She New York Recorder. These are i'm portant occasions, and these gowns are the result of anxious thought and la- burIuUs research in the fields of gown literature. First, the dress she wears as debutanta; secondly, the wedding gown. The third gown Is worn by the young mother when she receives the relatives and friends who have come to offer their congratulations to her and their gifts to her arstburn child. De butante, bride and mother 4 woman may be all these. and in America she frequently is something mora di- vorcce. Here frocI1s are not uuimpor- taRt factors. and l am irTesistiblv re- minded of a tl-nuhful of dresses 1 saw last week which are to play a proInine nt part in a big divorce ease soon.
 What a heap of pretty frocls, l said.
 Yes" my friend replied. Horribly expensive. and | couldn't well afford them. either. but business is business you know, these are my stock in trade. They're very sympathetic gowns, must say. The designer caught my eye per fectly."
 sympathetic gowns! Stock in trade What do you mean?'' | FasPed
 
 are to wear at the trial"
 ''Oh, dear rue, All those,'
 Yes. al those. Now, here's this black one" said she tall,in~ like RGsina Volzes iu one of her soluoguics ''I shah wear this the first day. 1t makes me look pale, and has craPy, mourn ful air about it that will make a favor able first impression on the court. 1 wish them to understand that the de fendant has wrecked my young life. See?
 Well, this red gown, Doesn't this bristIe all over with detCrminatiun2 Isn't win or die fiuttering from every fold? shall wear this the day We make the biggest fight. It looks 50 az crcssive.
 Now here's this white cloth. Very simple, you observe. Silver girdle. Broad hat with feathers. Fluffy boa. Sweet simplicity. Girlish l0velincss. That's for the day my counsel sums up. That gray-sad. dove-eolored. Quak- erish locking. 1 shall wear that-with tears-in ease we seem to be getting beaten.
 This is a brown cloth to wear upon all the common. ordinary occasions. IL is made in sensible way, with this business-liLle jacket. There is a set of silver tablets goes with it. also a vinai- grette. The tablets for any random ideas might have which should be in stantly jotted down. the vinnigratte in case 1 should faint. IL may ha nec-s~aEy to faint, you know. Some judges are so obdurats.
 This notebook fancy will make a great hit with the jury. Yes, it did cost a pretty penny. but | hope the re suits wIII more than compensate for the outlay.
 You see. one of Ted's strong points of defense is that was SO eNtravagant he couldn't stand if. The idea, Well, now, any jury of average intelligence seeing me with this little book will say: Dear me, She couldn't be so ayg- fully extravagant- Such mcthodical business-Gize habits don't go with ex- tvagance. No. indeedr That's what the jury will say. and shall come out with flying coiors and victory perched upon my banners. And why? We'll, of course, the fact that my side is right and Ted's Is wrong has something to do with il, but chiefly, my dear, chiefly because of my gowns. The jury won't know it; the judge won't know it. When did man know anything about woman or her strate- gies? And between g0u and me, tine less they know the better. What they don't know won't hurt them. and if is really selfish of a woman to worry a man with trivial matters when he has such grave and important cases on his mind Going? We'll wish me luck with my gowns. This is my way of casting bread upon the waters