Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-01-17
Written for NE Eveninz Star.

Az whom Uncle Remus calls Miss sally" car
ried hou'- phonograph or graphophone for
the edihcauon and amusement of his family.
There were several cylinders with the ma
chine-one or two comic solos. some pieces by
military band, q banjo solo, the chimes Of
Trinity Church and some blank cylinders for
experiment. When they had all enjoyed the
performance Of this wonderful invention and
had been duly amazed at the vivid reproduc-
ton Of the slightest shades of sound, the lady
of the house thought Of Uncle Remus. Who was
engaged in repairing the grape srbor in the
garden. She placed one of the unused cylin-
ders in the little machine. set il in motion and
proceeded to talk into the receiver, initiating
the voice Of the cook. The result was dia-
logue between herself and the cook. in which
Uncle Remus was the subject of discussion In
little while the old man made his appearance
at the door. He had dropped his hat on the
back steps and as he stood bareheaded in the
attitude Of expectancy, with half humorous
expression on his weather-beaten features he
cut figure that was not without its pathetic
suggestions.
'Is you SEN for me. Miss Sally?" he in
quired.
"Ycs," said the lady. I've got little ma
chine want TO show You. Come over here.
ears"
Miss Sally, what kinder contraption dish
yer! the old man asked. examining the ear
tubes suspiciously. please ma m don't play
no pranks on me. 1 been feelin' skittish all
day, en- ef you git me skeerd I'm bleedze ter
holler."
Don't be SO stupid" exclaimed the lady;
put the things over your ears"
Miss Sally, what you gwine ter do? Nv
work waitin' fer me right now. en- il got ter
be done dis blessed day-aint it. Marse
john
The gentleman appealed to pretended to be
playing with the children, and made no re-
Spouse.
Il believe you are losing your mind" said
the lady. Put those things over your ears. +"
Miss Sally" protested Uncle Remus. II
am I got no time fer ter be projickin' in here.
1 been KNOWN YOU ever sense YOU 'uz born. an
know right pine-blank Won fxin' fer ter
git me III trouble. Deze yer tixin's is boiler.
en- dunner what dey got in um.'
Are you going to put them on?" inquired
the lady impatiently.
Miss Sally, fer de Lord sake femme 20 out
yonder en- do my work. Iain't use to no kinder
harness ike dis, mo speshually putin blinds
on my years. I'll put UNI on, he continued,
seeing that protest useless but after YOU
git me hitched up, I'm sholy gwine ter break
sumPn, en- 'twont be my fault nudder. I tell
you dat now"
Uncle Remus adjusted the tubes to his ears
| and his Miss Sally started the machine. First
came the announcement of the piece in a voice
| that sounded like il had been dug out of tin
mine and hardened by the Bessemer process
Ii was so startling by near that Uncle Remus
whore Politeness is part Of his nature, lodged
his head and exclaimed ''Suh, :" rolling his eyes
| at his Miss Sally.
Then the band struck up and the old man
| seemed TO enjoy it immensely He shut his
eyes and ther suddenly opened them. as il to
make sure that he still in the neighbor-
hood. Presently the band concluded with the
usual crash, and Uncle Remus drew long
breath of relief as his Miss Sally stopped the
| phonograph.
what did you hear?'' she asked as the old
man took the tubes from his ears and pro-
ceeded to examine them more closely than be-
| fore. He looked at them inside and out and
then fitted them to his ears again, but he heard
| nothing.
Miss Sally" he exclaimed. 81 wish you'd
please m tell me wharbouts deze yer pipes
"Rish, to the monograph here"
'Ihe phonograph-this little machine here. ~
"Uh-uh. Miss Sally Dey NAV fool YOU. but
| l done been yer too long fer dat. Day can I
fool me. De ter cen er deze yer pipes ain 4
so mighty fer fun de circus. dunner whar-
bouts de circus is. but wharsomever de show g
agwine on right dar is de ter cen er dem ar
pipes. You ak Marse John dar, en- eff he ain I
playln no prank on you long er dish yer con-
| traption he'll tell you de same. When GO
home ter night l gwine ter boiler at nv old
oman: You Kather'n! wake up FUN dar whar
you settin' noddin' by de chimbly JAM Wake
up from dsr! You say yo' Miss sally de smart
| est white oman in de Nunited State er Gergy
en- Wit yer she is done bin fooled by dem town
folks Dat des zackly what I'm gwine ter tell
'er, en- boun' Won Marse John'n b ar me out in
| ii, won't you, Marse Johng"
Uncle Remus ratified this off SO rapidly that
the lady had no opportunity to interrupt him
At last she said with some show Of vexation:
"h your head wasn't so thick you'd see that
the music il on this cylinder"
"Wharbouts Miss Sally?''
''On this cylinder. The cylinder is covered
with wax and the music is on the wax"
Uncle Remus put on his spectacles exam
ined the cylinder closely and then looked at his
Miss Sally curiously. He shook his head slowly
and said:
Miss Sally, I bin KNOWN Won sence YOU
wuz little bit er baby, en- l amt never hear
you gwine on dis Away befo'. / wish YOU d
please tell me how dat ar brass ban gwine
git In dar. De ban what hear in desc yer
pipes had de big horn en- de base drum in il
w.t. let lone all de yuther horns, en- NV min
pintedly tells me dat eff dey wuz all ter git in
dat ar shebang dar dey'd bust it wide open.
Now you know dat yose'f. Miss Sally"
The lady wanted to laugh. but. instead. she
adjusted another cylinder and told the old man
to place the tubes to his ears. 1t was the banjo
solo-the old make-believe affair with the mold
of age on its whiskers. When il was concluded
Uncle Remus exclaimed:
'What tell you, Miss Sally? ] know'd dew
wuz show gwine on some'rs 'roun yer. Oar
wuz de man pickin' de banjo en- dom like he
hear folks say de niggers does. kin shet NV
eyes en- see i'm right now. He got blackin' on
his face, en- his eyes is mo- blood-shotten dan
what niggers eyes is He got on high stove
pipe hat en- he shown de bottom err his shoe
wild chalk marks on it. He amt no mo- like
Niger dan q bumblebee is like a roam mule
Yit, dar he sets en- plunks on de banter Marse
John, " the old man went on. '.you reckon Miss
Sally gwine ter upn low dat dat ar man wild de
banjer 10 in de beeswax?''
For answer "Marse John" winked his eve
and shook his head with an air Of mystery.
Meanwhile Miss Sally" was adjusting the
chimes Of Trinity. Uncle Remus, listening
and remarked when the ringing ceased:
lis anybody ever hear de beat er dat? IF
dey amt big fire broke ont some'rs de meet
in houses is all got in er bunch. Dat ar bees
wax got a mighty tough job ef IL got ter hor all
dem bells"
Then came the conversation between Miss
Sally and the cook. which had been spokeu
into the phonograph by Miss Sally" The
old mans placid countenance gathered severity
as the dialogue was poured into his ears The
lady's imitation Of the cook was cleverer than
| she had intended, and when Uncle Remus hung
the tubes across the machine there was an
ominous frown on his brow.
"Where are you going?" asked his Miss
Sally. a. the old man started out.
I'm gwine out dar en- zee dat Niger oman.
Dat ar contraption 10 wuss dan runnin' de
kyards- Hit beats eavedrappin'. Hit tell you
what folks bin sayin' after dey done said it en-
gone. Dat Niger oman out dar in de Kitchen
bin taikin' bout me scan lous."