The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-01-03

Nothing Europe Can onsr l. ooes EnouEh
for Them.

We travelled from Oboreau with
tourist agent. aud he told us all his
troubles Ii seems that tourist agent
is an ordinary human man. and has
feelings just ike we have. This had
never occurred TO me before. | told
him so.
NO" he replied. lit never does oc-
cur to YOU tourists. You treat us as ii
we were the Government itself. III all
goes well. you say. what is the good OF
us, contemptuously; and il things 90
wrong. YOU say. what Is the good OF
us, Indignantly: / work sixteen hours
day TO fix things comfortably for You.
and you cannot even look satisfied.
while il train is late or hotel pro-
prietor overcharges YOU como and bull
ly me about il. III see after YOU YOU
muttcr that | am oilicious. aud il j
leave YOU alone you grumble that am
neglected.. You swoop down in your
hundreds upon IA tiny village like
q berammergau without ever letting Us
know even that you are coming aud
then threaten TO write to the Times be-
cause there Is not n suite of apartments
aud hot dinner waiting ready for each
OF you.
You want the best lodgings i'm the
place. and then. when AT Il tremendous
cost of trouble. they have been obtained
for YOU. YOU object to pay the price
asked for them. You all try and palm
yourselves of for dukes and duchcsses
travelling in disguise. You have none
OF you ever heard OF such thing ms u
second-cass railway carriage-didn't
know that such things were made. You
want a iirst-class Pullman car reserved
for each two of you. Some of you
have seen an omnibus In the distance
and have wondered what il was used
for. To suggest that You should travel
in such plebeian conveyance. Is TO
give YOU n shock that takes YOU two
DAYS 10 recover from. You expect "A
private carriage with footmau in
livery to take you through the noun
tains. You all of YOU must have the
most expensive places in the theatcr.
The eight-mark and six-mark places
are every Bit rs good rs the ten-mark
seats. Of which there are only n very
limited number; but YOU arc grossly
insultcd ii il is limited that YOU should
sit in anything but the dearest chairs.
II the villagers would only be sensible
and charge YOU ten marks for the
eight-mark places you would be happy;
but they won't
Americans are the worst Of YOU all.
They are never satisfied with anything.
They are always grumbling. always
contrasting the discomforts Of Europe
with the heavenly joys of their own
land. Why they ever leave it Is "A
mystery. The average American never
has happy moment from the hour he
sets foot in Europe till the hour he
leaves il; and he takes good care that
nobody he comes in contact with dur
ing his stay shall have one either
Nothing is right to his idea. in Europe.
According To the average travelling
American Europe will never be any
good until IL Is bought up aud run by
some entcrprising Yank.
I'VE take him TO IN expensive hotel.
and he says he can stay at dearer
place than that in America. We take
him 10 cheap one and he says he can
be more uncomfortable in New York
than he Is there. We parade the whole
German army before him. with tho
reserves. and he SAYS: Call that an
armyP Why, we should use that as 0
picket
1--WE show him ruinod city. such as
Pompcii or the ancient part OF Rome,
and he says il is nothing to one of their
little places out West after they have
had fire or a cyclone. believe that,
when his time comes and the average
travelling American finds himself in
Hades, he will. looking around on the
assembly there. tell Pluto that, in his
opinion. as a collection, it is not a
patch upon what his people can show
AT Washington. ~ London Graphic