The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1891-03-28
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Brought Him Around-Why He Was
Whipped-Cause Of the Muss-Al
Right, etc., etc.
BROUGHT HIM AROUND.

BROUGHT HIM AROUND.
Boarding house Mistress-I thought
you said your appetite was poor when you
came here?
Greedy boarder-It was, but starvation
has got in its work.
WHY HE WAS WHIPPED.
Ethel Ito her younger brother, who
had been whippe0-Don't mind, Bruz-
ger, don't mind
Brother between his tears)-That's
just what was licked for, not minding.
CAUSE OF THE MUss.
Daughter said Mrs. Bellows, indig-
nantly, after John Jimpson had taken his
departure, show came your hair so disar-
ranged"
Il shook my head so much while he
was trying to get me to say yes" re-
piled the quick-witted girl.-IEpoch.
"See heah, Galley, did you call me a
a common ass?"
mo, Snobbuton, said you were an un-
common ass"
Jaw, that's different. 1 cawn't stand
having anybody call ne common
yknow."-[Epoch.
JUST THE OPPOSITE.
"My dear" began Mr.. Bloobumper.
"Don't call me dear' snapped Mrs.
Bloobumper; ''you made me feel very
cheap by cOntradicting me before the
company while ago."
THEN THE BARBER PUT ON BLACK.
He came in the BARRIERS in such dread
full state of nervousness that the barber
locked up the razor.
Whats the matter?7 he inquired,
holding milestone behind him in case
Of any outbreak.
'Why," he answered in an agitated
whisper, 81 have Just noticed my hair is
turning gray"
"Oh, that's nothing"
'Nes, not much to you, perhaps, but
l feel that bad about it I'm ready to
dye."-IPhi!adelphia Times.
FLAT FAILURE.
"Selina ventured Noah Count, show
would you enjoy living in fatr'
''Not at ALL" snapped Mrs. Count.
"After living with one all these years l
prefer to so out of the fiat business"
THAT STRANGE BOY.
It's now the chilling winter winds so
very fiercely blow,
They nearly freeze a boy to death who
has to shovel snow.
To make him clear the walks, poor boy
seems very like crime,
He cal't stick at it longer than five min
utes at time.
And yet-of course it's very strange and
still it's very true
You'll really be surprised to learn what
that poor boy can do.
For though while shoveling snow the
cold may freeze him right away.
Just give him skates and ice and he can
stay out doors all day.
-lChieago Herald.
TIMES CHANGE.
"Ah! so it goes" sighed the ice man
as he half rose from his seat in the car
and then sank back again.
"What is it," was asked by an &C.
quaintance.
Ibid you see that man make up face
at me as we passed.
eyes"
"Weli, he's butcher. and uses 400
pounds of ice per day. Last year at this
time he was sending me up some roasts
of beef and tickets to the theater. "-IDe-
troit Free Press.
NO ARRESTS.
Indignant Citizen-Don't you see those
two boys down there smoking cigarettes?
Why don't you arrest them?
Policeman-Facti is. Mr.. Taxpay, one
OF them is my son, and the other is your
son.
Citizen - I'm - err very pleasant !
weather we're having.-[Good News.
oMELETIC.
''Isn't that omelet- rather overdone,"
said the guest.
"Yes, sir" said the waiter, a gentle
man recently from Boston. ut Is oya
done. Anything elses"-[Chicago Tri-
bune.
THE DIFFERENCE.
''Here, sir, is fine silver watch for
tl5. Here is another equally as good for
$1O."
whats the difference between
them?"
Five dollars. Jewellers Circular.
had GRADUATED.
Crabapple-Don't you believe, Miss
Sweete, that l could teach you to love
me?
Miss Sweete-Possibly; but as have
made my debut it is rather late to 90
hack tn a tutOr