The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-06-10
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

In purple and fine linen-A bandaged
black eye.
A burst of eloquence is consequence
of mental dynamite.-BoSton Courier.
"And why were you discharged from
your last placel" 'Id served me time"
Not Intimate: "Have you met with
successW "I know it only by sight,
Puck.
Marked down-The young mans mus
tache when 1t begins to be visible
Pitts6urg Chronicle.
The fact that riches have wings may
be the reason that they enable man to
''fy high. y Washington Post.
When a bachelor is asked to rock the
cradle he feels more like stoning the
baby instead. .-SomeroiHe Journal.
Consider the man who is always pune
tual-how much time he wastes waiting
for other people.-Elmira Gazette.
Tramp-'will this dog bite a poor
old tramp2" Hired Girl-''Just as quick
as a fat young one. Gitl"-EpOch.
When the other man begins to quote
statistics you may assume that you have
won the argument.--Elmira Gazette.
If you wish to be entertaining Just
forget yourself long enough to talk to
somebody about himself f.-Dallas Netos.
Boulanger is having another desperate
wrestle with obscurity, and with all the
chances in favor of obscurity.-BoSton
Post.
Fogg says that, after all, your true
hue-ers of wood and drawers of water
are your landscape artists. Boston Tran
script.
He-"So Jack isn't devoted to Kate
any more. Did they fght9" She
"Yesj they had an engagement. - Yale
Record.
THE man I'll we'd" says sweet Sixteen,
"Must beauty have and youthful be.n
"Of him III wed, says Thirty-five,
81 but demand that he'll have me-"
Puck.
The saying, ''Nothing succeeds like
success" was probably invented before
the modern "business failure" system of
succeeding was discovered.-Ne'O York
Herald.
Really Enthusiastic: "Oh, Mr.. Brown,
your picture is absolutely enchanting.
Only one Italian word can describe it
and have forgotten that. "-FLiegende
BIaetter.
"Here's your bill," said the milk
dealer to the dissatisfied customer.
'Well, turn about is only fair play; sup
pose we chalk that up awhile. Wash
iHgton Post.
at strikes me that Russian authors
have remarkably venerable and care
worn look" "Yes; but then look at
the language they have to do their think
ing in. y Washington Post.
Clara Gust engaged) Emma, if
| only knew how to make Edward hap,
py!" Emma "a student of human ma
ture)-''I'll tell you, my dear. Don't
marry him. ."-Fliegende Blaetter.
~ can command my salary" said the
Thespian in reply to the remarks of an
envious rival. "No doubt, was the re-
ply. ats so small it would be afraid
to disobey you. - Washington Post.
"The Superfluous Man" is the title Of
a recently published essay. This is the
first time that the man who goes shopping
with his wife hes figured in serious htera-
ture, we believe. .-NelO York Recorder.
Miss Caustique-"I hear you won the
440-yards run" De Boaster-"Oh,
easily. The other fellows weren't in it. -
Miss Caustique-"Ah, you were the only
one entered, Ipresume. .n-Hareayd Lam
p00R.
"The face of the returns" said the
chairman Of the meeting, "shows sixty
seven ayes and no noes" "What queer,
looking face that must be, ~ remarked an
old lady in the back row. - WasAing,n
star.
Mrs. Snaggs (reading)-"A first cousin
of the King of Sweden is living in Lynn,
Mass. " Snaggs-'Poor fellow Why
do they bring that up against him if he's
trying to live respectable life. '-I'itts.
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
An effort was made in Ohio TO cure
girl Of a dog-bite by using maidstone,
but it failed. The trouble was the stone
was used too late. 1t ought to have been
applied to the dog before he bit the
girl Baltimore Amricda.
Complainant "Your honor, she
struck me in the face with her clenched
fist. That cash was cut by her ring"
The Court-"Where did she get tae
ringt' Complainant-'s gave il to aer
Ii was our engagement ring The
Court-"rhe prisoner is discharged.
This is clearly "A case of contributory
negligence. "--Je'selers Wee&ly,