The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-14
BRIGHT BITS.

81 BELIEVE in giving the devil his DUE said
Evergreen.
so do l. and wish he had great many of
bis overdue, replied Brightly, bitterly. Puck.
why do you permit such impudence?" said
the Pullman traveller, after quarrel with the
porter.
Cant help it, He's the porter. I'm only
director in the company. The Epoch.
docs it not impress you deeply" she asked,
to hear the boom, boom, BOOM of the eternal
ocean,
Il should say So" he answered 81 am in
the real estate business. - Washington Star.
KITTY wrNsIow-Physi culture is quite
fad of mine See. for instance, how well Mr..
Van Nobs stands.
Tom De Witt-oh. yes; he stands better
against dark blue portiere than he does flnan-
cially.-Puck.
. That plumber employed is fool"
II told him wanted running water in my
bedroom and he put it there, but with nothing
to shut it off. Said that wasn't specified"
HGrDer's BdzGr.
ToNMY-Mamma. should we love our enc
mics?
MAmma-Yes darling.
Tommy-And is Katie papa's enemy?
Mamma-No; but she is mine, and papa and
are one!-Pttck.
TEAoHER-Now, children, we will take up
collection to buy the janitor turkey.
Small Boy-Please mum, the janitor keeps a
boarding house.
Teacher-Johnny is entirely correct. board
there mysef.-Hdrper'S Bdzdr
THERE was fire in store in a small town in
New Jersey-or IL may have been in Connect
cut-and New York reporter was sent to write
10 up. He asked a prominent citizen of the
place If the fire was the work of incendiary
Dunno" said the prominent citizen, lit might
be, but my opinion is it was Sot."-Men's out
hitter.
NEIGHBoR-How do you like your new neigh
Dor:
Little Girl-Mamma says they is awful nice
people, real polite an Christian.
Has she caledY"
mo, but we've sent in to borrow dozen off.
ferent things. an they didn't once say they was
Just out."-Good NelCs.
A PORTLAND LADY has a pug dog which will
enter an apothecarys store, stop in front of the
soda fountain, look back at his mistress and be-
gin to sneeZe. He has been taught to thus ex-
press his desire for anything, and as he is very
fond of soda. he always asks for it in this way.
This same pug is equally fond of watermelon
and ice cream.-BGngor Commercial
STOOD beside her in the surf,
Beneath the moonlit skies;
She met my eager questioning
With timid, downcast eyes.
Say, darling, shall this hand be mine
My own for aye and aye?'
We're those salt tear drops in her eyes
Or but the salty spray?
Then suddenly she turned on me
An anguished look of Woe
And wildly shrieked 40 take my hand
A crab has got my toe"
Stuart A. Weiss.
THE noble sport of sailing is real fun if you
| don't get drowned. In company with friend
| who was vertable land lubber,n in high
wind l skinned over Chautauqua's blue waters.
borne along by the white WINGS After an
| hours splendid sport we returned to land, and,
| my friend heaved a sigh OF relief. How did
you enjoy it," said l. 20, splendid, splendid ~
was the reply. 81 kept thinking all tie time if
| we ever got to shore alive, what a magnificent
| time we will have had" l hope to take this
friend TO sail again, for always am pleased to
know of real and unalloyed enjoyment on the
part OF those who sail with me.-Chdutduquo
Assembly Herald.