The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-07-11
THE SHOW Il COMPLICATED.


Listen to my tail, and be silent that
70 may here. I've been among the Sc.
seshers . earnin my daily peck by my
legitimit perfeshun, and havn't had no
time to weeld my facile quill for 1.-THE
Crate Komick paper" II you'll allow me
to kote from your troothful ADVERTISE
ment.
Ny success was skaly, and I likewise
had narrer scape of my life. II what
I've bin threw is ''Suthern hospitality"
bout which we've learn so much, then
! feel bound to obsarve that they made
two much Of me. They was altogether
too lavish with their attenshuns.
went amung the Seseshers with no
feelins of annermosity. went in my
perfeshernal capacity. I was actooated
by one Of the most Loftiest desires which
Gun swell the human Buzzum-viz., to
Civ the people their moneys worth. by
shown them Sagashus Beests, and Wax
Statoots, which l venter to say air on
surpast by any other statoots anywheres.
l will not call that man who seq my
statoots is humbugs II lier and q boss
thief, but bring him be4 me and I'll
W;ther him with ono of my scornful
frowns.
But to proseed with my tail. In my
travels threw the Sonny South I heared
q heap of talk about Secession and Dustin
up the Union, but / didn't think it
mounted to nothin. The politicians in
all the villages was swearin that Old
Abe sometimes called the Prahayrie
dower) shouldn't never be noggerated
They also made fools of themselves in
varis ways, but as they was used to that
I didn't let it worry me much, and the
Stars and Stripes continued for to wave
over my little tent. Moor over, I was a
Son of Malty and a member of several
other Temperance Societies, and my
wife she was Dawter Of Malty. and l
sposed these fax would secoor me the in
doonz and and pertectiun Of oil the fust
families. Alas! I was dispinted.
State arter State seseshed and it
growed hotter and hotter for tho under
dned. Things came to q climbmacks in
small town in Alaba,ny, where was
premtorally ordered to haul down the
Stars & Stripes. A deppytashun of red
faced men cum up to tho door of my
tent ware ! was standin takin money
(the AFTERNOON exhibishun had com
menst, m my Italyun organist was
jerkin his sole-stirrin chilnes). 1--WE mir
cum. Sir" said millingtary man in a
cockt hat, upon a high and holy
mishun. The Southern Eagle is screamin
threwout this sunny land-proudly and
defiantly screamin, Sir!'
whats the matter with him?" seq I;
''don't his vittles sit wall on his STUN
muck?'
"That Eagle. Sir, will continner to
scream all over this Brite and tremenius
land!"
"Wall. let him scream. II your Eagle
can amuse hisself by screamin. let him
WENT" The men annoyed me. for was
bizzy maxim change.
I'VE are cum. Sir. upon q matter of
dooty"-
You're right. Copting. It's every
mans dooty to visit my show" sed l.
1--WE mir cum
"And that's the reason you are here!"
sez l, larRn one of my silvery larfs. !
thawt If he wanted to COAX I'd Civ him
some Of my sparslin eppygrams.
''Sir. you're inserlent. The plain ques-
lion is, will YOU haul down the Star
3pangled Banner and hist the Southern
aag:"
"Nary hist!' Those was my reply.
"Your wax works and becsts is thea
s. you air arrested as y
Spy"
See I. my fragrant roses of the
Southern cline and Bloo,nin daffo<lils.
what's the price of whisky in this town.
md how many cubic feet of that seduct-
We flooid can you Individually l,oldy'
They made no reply to that. but said
ny wax figgers was con6sticated. /
lxed them if that was ginerally the stiie
lmOno thieves in that country tn which