The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-05
CHRONIC OFFICE SEEKERS.
Carl PIGt2el Gives His Views About That Glass
Of Patriots.

Chronic office seekers can find no relief
for their diseases; on all street corners, in
all saDple-rOomS, at every free lunch
counter you may find thems wiSe-loOking,
hungry-eyed men are they, discussing in
solemn fashion profound questions of
finances or reciprocity.
Every city, every village is full of them
they are repreSen ted in every corner-grocery
and wayside inn.
Heaven will have no att raction for them
If they cannot seek Office there, and hell
will have no terrors, can they only be as
sured that there will be chance for them
to serve on some plutoniau committee.
1t is a noticeable TACT that 1t is the de-
feated candidate who runs lust for the fun
of it" and l have sufficient amount of ex-
perience on this subject to justify me in
writing on it with some confidence. l never
ran for office, but did the next thing to it
l ran for chance u run. l was never NOM
mated, but that was no fault of mine for
tried hard enough TO be, and had | been
nominated l should have been elected, for
the man who received the nomination was
elected by large majority. After my de-
feat people asked me what l ran for Had
been elected and in rece ipt of the pay and
emoiuments OF the Office no such inquiry
would have been necessary, for it would
have been obvious that l ran for the pay
and the emouments that the Office fur
nlShed, but, being defeated, some reason
was required, hence l said, Just for the
fun Of it'-because, as it turned out. that
was all got.
But [ have since analysed the FUN"
assure you it is very melancholy sort of
fun-a kind of fun which do not care to
repeat learned nothing particularly
valuable, but l made many new acquain /
ances, many of whom | have since found it
very desirable to forget. The intimate
friends one makes on such occasions are
mostly of the debtor class. They are un-
selfish citizens and realizing how much bet
ter aud more comfortable IL is to belong to
the creditor rather than the debtor class, it
is their aim in life to place all their acquaint-
snces on the creditor list. They did that
with me, for which, of course, | now am
and doubtless always shall be greatly
obliged to them. By deceitful batteries
they lead the innocent and uhsuspecting
candidates on to defeat and eternal ruin. Il
is because of them that the life of candi-
date is 50 full OF impending peris, so bur-
dened with crushing responsibilities. The
final result OF my reflections is, that running
for office. just for the fun OF it, is 10 joke.
Even should one who aspires to office on
liable to suffer, If he does not
There is certainly in the full and faithful
performance of public duties no special
fun" / appreciate the fact that there is
the highest honor and the proudeSt self
satisfaction in the faithful performance of
public trusts and official duties and it Ger
tainly is from such considerations alone
that all the honor or real fun OF otfice-hold-
ing is derived.
Running for office for the sake of the of
fee has neither fun nor honor in it, but the
ambition which seeks public station as
means of doing public service is most hon
orable.
Running for Office for the fuu of it signi-
fes sQuandered means, wasted time, bum
mer habits, hummer associations and a gen.
pTal breaking doyVu Of "a II
There is no occupation that | can conceive
OF so low that it is not higher than this of
oftice-sec king. Moreover it acts upon the
virtues like alcoholic spirits-it creates a
morbid appetite for more. 1t IS gamblers
LIE, always leading TO hopes of better luck
next time. COMPARED with it the free and
easy life OF the vagrant seems absolutely to
be clothed with dignity. IL is a wTetched
form of mendicancy, which only lacks the
sturdy Independence and unself-reliance of
the more exalted street beggar aud covered
by gauzy fraud which the common beg
gar is too honest to use.
Fortunate, indeed, is 1t for him who is at
tainted with the disease if his first eXpe-
rlence Is sufficiently severe to cure him for
ever after. and generally more fortunate for
the people. But the malady when once
fairly fixed in the system is incurable.
Possibly there is no he'll in the other world,
but most men who have run for office in
Chicago have finally arisen from out their
political campaigns thoroughly believing
that this world furnishes a hell fully ade-
quate for all purposes Of punishment.
My good young reader, don't run for po-
litical office. 1t is far better that you should
crawl through a sewer when the thought
first strikes you.
If you are asked to purchase a gold-headed
cane that your friends may present it to you
don't If large and enthusiastic body of
citizens urge you to become a candidate for
political honOrs-don't Eight to seven the
country, as whole, is not suffering for your
services.
If you are asked to place your bead in the
mouth of a lion, while your opponent stands
outside to pinch his tail-dont you do it.
The parties who found old Cinclnnatus
at the pillow were not such as organic them
selves into committees in these days ana
the chances are the modern Cincinuatus,
like Grants monument, is only partly put
up job at least-Carl Pretzel, In the Buffalo
Courier.