The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-08-07
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

Change of Base.-Nurse Girl-"Why
don't We put that brat to sleep, an have
a good time while yer in tn park?'' Elk
Nurse Girl-"It's me own
knew What He Wanted,-Seedv In
dividual-"Introduc me to your friend. "
Jones-''Not much. I'd rather lend you
the money myself. "-IIarper's Bazaar.
-Borrore-"Wcll, | never borrow
trouble, anyhow" Lender-"O, no, you
always give that to the people you Dor
row other things from.-Washingto
Star
If the man who crosses his legs
when he sits in a street car could be put
upon his mettIe you would find that it
consists largely of pig from. y. Re-
corder
-IIusband-"Did You bring your
opera glass with you, Marie?" Wife
"Ies. but l can't use it Husband
"Why not?" Wife-"O, 1 left my dia,
mond rings at home"
1t is thought that young Smith
and his wife will have to get married
over again" why? Was there some
flaw in their MARRIAGE" NO, but he
was married while a student and the
college has just made him a bachelor.
An Inquisitive PERSONAL---VERY. dc
you think of your teacher" asked Mrs.
Cumso of Johnny, after his first visit tc
Sunday school. she too inquisitive,"
replied Johnny, "She kept asking us
questions all the time till the bell rang"
N. Y. Sun.
$50 mi 1Sfnrn1
called upon her last night?" Il did -
did she seemed pleased?" 'To tell
the truth, | was so nervous that didn't
notice, but guess she was pleased, for
as got up to go saw that she looked
very happy. N. Y. Press.
1t is mean to go up and congratu-
late a man on having new suit of
clothes just because you happen to see
him walking proudly down Washington
street with the price tag. which the
dealer has forgotten torcmove. conspic-
uously fastened to his coat tail.-Som-
ervillc Journal
domestic Unanimity New
comer-"My baby is just the dearest,
sweetest, cunningeSt, Smartest, bright
est, best, quietest, neatest, darlingcst,
loveliest, best naturcd, healthicst, pref
test baby in all the world. Chorus of
a million or morc-''Sos mine De
troit Free Press.
In Self-Defense-Ne ighbor Woman
For the lands sake. | didn't sup
pose you needed money bad enough to
make you fill your house with board
ers." Farmer GreatacreS-"Don't need
no money at all. But I've got to keep
them city kin o mine off the place some
how or other. '-Indianapolis Journal
Gus Was in No Danger.-''I saw"
said Gus de Jay, as he laid the paper
across his knees. this article says that
a flood of intelligence is going to sweep
the country "Well, deah hoy, don't
let it worry YOU" replied Willie Wish
ington. You're not likely TO be any
floodsutferer, you know. '-Washington
Post.
The managers of Brooklyn GENE
terry advertise: Graves finely situated,
surrounded by the beauties OF nature,
commanding a fine view of the bay,
and, in short, meeting every require
ment of the human family. People
who have tried them can not be per-
suaded to go elsewhere.
Of Course Not.-Mrs. Newma-"O,
I wish you could see Mrs. Winklcr's
babe. It's perfectly lovely! Such
delicate sweet little creature as it is!
It's perfect little cherub, with the
loveliest eyes, the sweetest little mouth.
the cunningest little nose, and eyes of
heavenly blue. 1t looks as if it had
just dropped from Heaven and every
tiny feature had been fashioned by the
angels" Mr. Newma--'Is it as nice as
our baby?" Mrs. Newma-''M Mercy! NO,
not half. Yankee Blade.