The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-01-07

OUTGROWN.


from n IOToWtD INilfFs
How loved him! Thoughts of him
flied my days and, unconsciously, my
nights. Not day but we were together.
We read together. We talked What did
we talk of? Who does not know those
personal nothings upon which lovers feet.
- weakening, dcmOralizing, perpetual
"you" and "I' and "we''2 True, he did
not like music, and music was part of
my very life. lie abominated the philos-
ophcrs, and read only philosophy and
history; but, then, was willing to do what
all women must do IL they would keep
close to the man they love-I paid him the
delicate ilattcry Of ever makingmy wishes
secondary to his; of taking an intcrest-a
hearty interest in all my lovers plans,
desires and tastes. He liked Dickens;
Dickens bored me insuiferably; but read
Dickens with him.
had voice which, as | have limited,
he, Rex, could not enjoy; but he was gen
erous and when my parents and friends
and tour of the Old World, my king
opened not only his dear, kind heart, but
his purse; and my trunk, my travelling
bag, my handsomest rugs and appoint
ments were all Of his purchasing, because,
lie said: 81 shall love to think that IL is
who have made you comfortable, and
when far away from me there will be
llltNt VI
Every day the post bore its little mes
sage to my love; each hour thought: off
only he were here, that my eyes might
not in scllishness rest alone on these
wonders"
thine, silence and absence are pitile5s
destructivcs,n says the author. We two
lovers proved the untruth of this CHASTITY
motto; our love thrived aud grew clearer,
greater, finer, on the very diet we fed
to II.
| was gong home. Changed2 Yes,
travel changes every one and when we
let the loved one 90 we must know in our
hearts that he or she will return to us
changed. There was growth away from
us, there were new minds to touch, new
magnetic influences, new point of view,
| new perspective, and the homecoming
must find us drawn nearer together or
| drifted n little apart, but change and
| growth has surely come.
Changed, / knew | was. But there
burned this one great spark-my love--as
steadfastly and as clearly as when It was
new. So soon would be clasped in his
arms. those arms that folded about me
with the strength of iron and the loving
tenderness of a mother
| will tell nothing of the slow home
ward journey, of the heart-pangs had as
sat on deck at night and permitted the
professor, q cultivated musician, to talk to
me. All this seemed sacrilege; it seemed
trcachery. that l could even tolerate it;
that ! enjoyed ii was criminal almost.
We landed at last. Every journey,
however slow, however sweet, or fraught
with anguish must end, And there was
my lover with beaming eyes and gifts OF
flowers and jewels for me.
was glad to see him, but not so happy
as had thought to be. Why was he not
so tall as he had been? Why was he
changed? Why did it sting me that on
the homeward drive, his voice, his adj
dress, his manner, all were changed? Or
was the change in myself / could not
tell. This was the most miserable mo
ment of my life; and he too, felt the
want of the true ring in me.
As the days-those time-markers-went
by we tried to return to the soul-to-soul
lcbfs. We read together; his voice Jared
VI on me. We talked; his different views
Of life made my heart turn sick with i'm
PATIENCE. Suddenly it all seemed CHASTITY
hopeless, horrible. knew why. But
how could / tell the true soul, the loving
man, who was yet all tenderness to me
and who urged that the wedding day
should be appointed, that was no longe
his? Whose had become? What was it
Ask the fates who spite of struggles ant
pullings against the current, plan our live
for us. knew not then; know not now
had outgrown this man for whom be
lieved God alone made me; and wha
awaited me fearful nights, and prayers an,
fears? Love is not compulsory, and coul'
no more bid my love return than can tn
limb broken from the sculptor's marbl
become again part of the beautiful statue
Pitiful truth. Sad reality. Sorrowfu
knowledge. Outgrown.