davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
sen So ONSENSE.
EFFORTS OF SOME OF OUR Al
LEGGED FUNNY MEN.
A Quick-Witted Brlde--The West
ern Boom--He Had Faith--Ac-
commodating- for
Irish Wit--Natural
BIunder.
A ouick-Wltted Bride.

Many OF the first settlers OF Illinois
were rude in speech and rough in man
ners, says an exchange. Money was
scarce with them, and service was
paid for in produce. Gen. B. used to
illustrate these incidents of frontier
life by the following anecdote:
One day when he was justice Of
the peace there came to his office q
young man accompanied by young
woman.
"Be you the squirrel" asked the
manly youth.
eyes, SIR"
Z: "Can you tie the knot for us right
away?"
."MYes, sir"
Chow much do you charger"
Cone dollar is the legal fee, SIR"
will you take your feein beeswaxW
eyes, If you can't pay cash."
"Well, go ahead and tie the knot,
and I'll fetch in the wax"
'No,,' said the squire, thinking
there was a good chance for a little
fun, "bring in the beeswax first and
then I'll marry you"
Reluctantly the youth went out to
where was hitched the horse upon
which, Darby and Joan fashion, the
pair had ridden, and brought the wax
in sack. On being weighed it's value
was found to be only about half a dol
lar. ~.
"Wall," said the anxious groom,
site the knot and I'll fetch more wax
next week"
'"No sir! don't trust; that's against
the rules OF this Office
Slowly the disappointed youth turn
ed to 60 out, saying:
Come, Sal; let's CO."
IT say, mister" answered Sal, with
a, woman's wit; "can't you. marry us
asfar as the wax will go?"
Yes, ! can and WILL" replied the
squire, laughing, and he did.-New
York World.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
The Waatarn5 Rnnln,

+ y y ~ Il
He had been lost for about fon,
hours and was riding along the trail
hoping to meet somebody who conl,
tell him the way, when he came to
house, with q settler sitting on I'M
fence in front.
Good day." he said. pulling u
alongside. "Can you tell me how fal
it is to Golden City,"
You're right thar, stranger" wa !
the boastful reply. This is Goldsn]
City,
Great Caesar, man." exclaimed tbeI
visitor, "this Golden City? WHY AMI
isn't any town at all, and the adver,
tisement said the population baal
more than doubled in the last thresl
months and every man in town hal
all he could do"
That'sright, stranger. Three months
ago there wasn't an. body here but|
me and my wife; now, there's me anal
her and the triplets-vou ought to see|
those triplets, stranger-and I've pot]
all l can do to provide for family con- On.
tingencles. The advertisement is the|
gospel truth, stranger. Won't Won
git down and look over some OF thu
lots? Shan't cost you durn cent.
The stranger invested TWENTY-FIVE
cents in feed.-Detroit Free Press
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
Hurrah for Irish Wit.

An Irishman told his friend that
he had defended him against the
abuse OF his enemy. "What did the
scoundrel say of me?" said his friend,
"He said that you were not fit to
carry garbage. to bear" Did he?"
1 am glad you we're there to defend
me. What did you say?" "Why of
cou contradictedrse, I him in the fiat
test terms and silenced him in a,
minute, for l declared that Won
were"
"Pay me the six-and-eight-pence
you owe me-" said an Irish attorney
to one of his clients. "For what?S
For the opinion you had of me-"
"Faith l never had any opinion of
you in all my life.'
An Irish girl told her forbidden
lover she was longing to possess his
portrait, and intended to obtain it.
but how if your friends see it?" in
qulred he. "Ah! but I'll tell the artist
not to make it likeyo SO they won't
"Now, Patrick" said a Judge
what 40 you say to the charge? Are
you guilty or notguilty?" Faith! but
that's difficult for yer Honor to saw.
let alone meself. Wait till [ hear The
evidence" 80
Abridged History of courtship.
Met him.
Met him again-in love with him.
Met HIM again-no longer in love
with him. but he is in love with me
because ] am SO beautiful.
Met him again-he is stillin love
with me, not only because / am SO
beautiful, but becauseI am also good.
Sorry for him.
Again ! met him he is colder than
he was. Think he has forgotten NV
beauty and my goodness. [, however,
am inclined to think that lam Ia lows
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
Faults Of the Walking Skirt,

c.
The most striking feature about the
so-callcd walking skirt is that it is
quite unsuitable for walking. In
windy weather it blows into unbecom-
ing shapes and tangles ones feet and
ankles. In dry weather it gathers to
itself from the ground dust and dirt of
all kinds. In wet weather it becomes
muddy and wet, conveying mud and
dampness to the boots and apparel OF
the wearer, thus causing colds and
serious illness among persons forced
to be out of doors for any length of
time on wet days, or keeping women
indoors who ought to be out on bust
ness or for exercise.
This so'called walking skirt is SO ar
ranged that it is impossible with one
hand gracefully to lift it clear at all
points of ones boots and the ground;
hence, careful souls struggle between a
regard for their clothes and the desire
to avoid that undue exposure of the
boot and stocking caused by holding
the skirt on one side too high. The
grabbing of the so-caled walking skirt
by both sides, though ungraceful, is,
perhaps, sensible, but is generally
also impossible, because of bundles,
umbrellas or other lmpediments.
The so-cailed walking skirt is
the reverse of economical, requir-
ing, on account OF it's length,
constant repairs or renewal; it is
heavy and hot in W arm weather; it is
heavy. without being a protect1on
from cold, in winter weather-in
short, the so-called walking skirt is
ingeniously calculated to diminish
the strength of the strong woman,
and from the weak to take away the
strength she hath.
Is not this same skirt worthy of
the reformer's steel, and now that
woman is free in so many ways to
choose sensible methods OF dressing.
should not the reformer's attention
be directed especially to the length Of
the walking skirt, which fashion still
controls, to the detriment Of the
health and happiness of those forced
to use it, as well as indirectly to that
Of the welfare of the human race. AT
the reception, dinner party, afternoon
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
Blowing Out the Gas.

"What would you think OF q gas
burner that would actually shut off
all flow of gas if the flame was blown
,out?'' said leading Milwaukee hotel
manager to his engineer few nights
ago, when they had succeeded in re-
suscltatlns a guest who had "blown
out the gas"
y II think said the engineer, chat if
there was such q thing the proprietor
of this house would supply every gas
burner in it with one"
"Well, there is such a thing and I
have seen it tested" said the manager.
Another manager and several other
persons also saw the invention tested
the other night in Manager Chase's Of
fee, at the Plankinton. The inventor
is G. II. Keeney, draughtsmanin Bene-
diets patent office. After more than
year Of study he appears to have
perfected just what is needed to save
the lives of the countrymen who come
totown and blow out the gas"
r. Mr.. Keeney's invention is not dis
similar to an ordinary gas jet in ap.
pearance, except that near where it
connects with the gas pipe it is some
what enlarged and there is a valve in
the enlargement which when closed,
shuts the gas off perfectly and when
open let's it on. If this valve is self
operating the thing is a success, and
Mr.. Keeney has made it self-operat-
ing or rather controlled by the innu-
ence OF heat and cold. To do this the
valve is simply operated by a Their
mostat-a delicate strip composed of
two or more kinds OF metal, in thin
pieces brazed together, that on one
side is highly sensible to the influence
OF heat and the other side practically
unaffected by it. AS the thermostat
becomes warm, one side of it is ex-
ipanded by the heat, and the expan-
sion of that side springs the thermos-
tat and opens the valve, letting on the
gas. AS it becomes heated the valve
opens to a certain point so that the
How of gas is perfectly even, as if
governed wholly by stop-cock in the
pipe. When the gas is blown out the
thermostat quickly cools, Strengthens
and closes the valve, shutting off the
gas perfectly. The valve may be open
ed by pressing upon it with the finger
/. Vic ,. uesiIeS d. llSgaC instantly, anu
IN five seconds the heat generated
causes the thermostat to operate the
valve. In the Trial recently numer-
GUS tests were made. Holding light
ed match at the top of the burner
five seconds caused the valve to open
and the gas to ignite. At the end OF
ten seconds more it was burning a
full fame and perfectly steady. Atthe
end Of five minutes, when the burner
had become thoroughly heated, the
fame was blown out, and in forty
Eve seconds the valve had closed and I
there was no gas escaping, but the
|ighted match brought 1T in five sec
kpds again. The experiment was
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
He Settled 1t.

He was a young man. He had stud.
led law in his fathers office and his
father finally retired and gave the
business to him. One day, less than
week after the old gentleman had
retired, the young man came home
and proudly said;
:. Father, you know that old Gilpin
estate case that you have been trying
for years and years to SETTLE" .
eyes," answered the father with q
suggestion of smile.
"Well, it didn't take me two DAYS
to settle it after I got at it,"
."What!" shouted the old LAWYER.
You have settled the Gilpin estate?"
Eyes; and it was just as easy as
rolling off a log"
"Well, you Internal idiot, you! Whv
that estate has paid the living ex
penses of our family for four genera
tions, and might have paid them for
four more, if l hadn't left the business
to a ninny.''-Lewiston Journal.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
A Load off HIS Mind.

waiter, kic-come here p-please,"
said an inebriate who had just sat
down to dinner in a cheap restaur-
ant.
"Well, sir, what do you wish?"
"Pray waiter, kic-can you see that
plate OF cheese wiggle?"
The waiter was obliged to admit
that it contained just a few shippers,
but explained that some of their
customers wouldn't eat it with
out.
.'Many th-thanks, waiter. You've
taken norful load from my mind. !
thought | had 'em again. "-Dansville
Breeze.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
He Had Faith,

A young man about twenty-fv
years old was sitting in the waiting
room of the Erie Depot the other day
with a year-old baby on his knee, and
his alarm and helplessness when the
"young un" began to howl was SO
marked as to attract attention. BY
and by waiting passenger walked
over to him with a smile OF pity on
his face and queried:
ga woman gave you that baby to
hold while she went to see about her
baggage, didn't she?"
eyes"
cha! ha! ha! I tumbed to the fact
as soon as I saw you. You expect her
back, suppose?"
"Of course"
ella! ha! ha! This is rich! Looking
for her every blessed minute, amt
you?"
II think she'll come back"
"Well, this makes melaugh-ha! ha!
ha! l had a woman play the same
trick on mein Chicago depot once, but
no one ever will again. Young man,
you're stuck: You've been played on
for a hayseed. Better turn that thing
over to policeman and make skip
before some reporter gets onto YOU"
"Oh, she'll come back" replied the
young man, as he looked anxiously
around.
"she will, ell? Ha! ha! ha! Joke
grows richer and richer. What makes
you think she'll come back?"
because she's my wife and this is
our first baby"
"Oh-um-l see," muttered the fat
man, who got over feeling tickled all
at once, and in his vexation he cross
ed the room and kicked q. dog which
farmer had tied to one of the seats
with a piece of clothes-line.-Post-Dis-
patch.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
Natural Blunder.

''You made these boots, didn't
your" asked mad man with a par
of bad-ftting shoes.
eyes," said the shoemaker, looking
up from his last, 81 made 'em."
"Well confound it'll I told you to
make one larger than the other,
didn't I?''
eyes, and l did,"
"No you didn't either. One is small
er than the other
"But change that big boot onto the
big foot and see if it won't fit said
the shoemaker.
"By gum! you're right. One is big.
ger than the other"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-11-12
CE AND PROGRESS.
VALUABLE INFORMATION FOR
ALL CLASSES.
TIL Earth a Dynamo--Blowing Out
the Gas--Work of Camera
Nrnught by PRESSURE
Electricity in Agri-
culture.
The Earth a DYNAMO.

The recent discoveries OF Prof. Bige-
low appear to prove concIusively that
the earth is a dynamo, and that it
generates electricity by revolving in
front OF that great magnet, the sun.
Since the day when Newton illustrated
by the fallof an APPLE to the earth the
law OF gravitation and the retention
ofthe planets in their regular orbits
about the sun, solar science has made
wonderful strides. Patiens investiga-
tors, aided by the marvellous products
OF human invention, have scanned the
depths OF space and widened our con-
captions OF the vast forces and activ-
tiles which rcrvade the universe The
influence OF the sun and moon upon
the earth and the relations between
light and electricity have long been
favorite subjects for scientists, while
at the same time they are so intimate
ly associated with every form OF lie
upon this planet that everything
which leads to q clearer understand
ing of the principles involved in them
is OF deep interest to all thinking
minds. Each recurring eclipse OF the
sun or moon has been welcomed by
astronomers as affording fresh oppor-
tunity to study the composition of
that great luminary. The nature of
the corona, which appears at these
times, has long been a mystery,
but now that the spectroscope
and the camera have come to the aid
OF science we are gradually reaching
definite conclusions as to it's compo-
sition. Prof. Bigelow finds that the
coronal streamers or rays correspond
to the lines of force in spherical mag
net, and if this can be demonstrated,
then the existence of sun spots can be
accounted for, as they are simply the
matter OF which the corona is COM
posed falling perpendicularly to the
SUMS surface. Ii the corona, then, be
OF magnetic origin, so also must be
the aurora borealis, and if it can be
shown that these auroral displays
conform to the lines Of magnetic force
emerging from the earth, we would
then, as Prof. Bigelow points out,
have more complete demonstration
OF their nature and OF tie harmony
between terrestrial phenomena. We
might also find then, upon further in
,vestigation, that not only does the
sun act upon the earth through the
medium of interstellar ether, by mag
netlc induction, but that the earth re-
acts upon the moon in a similar man.
ner-that is, Theoretically. But it is
the Professors discovery regarding
terrestrial magnetism that is OF the
greatest immediate practical impor-
tance, to say nothing Of it's far-reach-
ing results. To know that sunlight is
really magnetic, and that it excrts its
influence upon the earth, will prepare
the way for an explanation OF many
phen omena the chow and the "why' |
OF which are yet mysteries.
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07
Harmony.

The tue weA her OF last week gave the
farmers 2 chance to do much work on the
land, and it wss well improved, for some
have their sowing about al done, and &
few have painted early potatoes.
We understand that there has been two
weddings in town the past week.
Eden FcSs, Cecil Cnaihourne Alfred
Laughton. Ephraim RAYMOND and epths
Bsne leave this morulns for Dover, n.
H., to work in the brickysrd.
Edna aud lIsunsh FoSs are expected
home from Wlllimautlc This week.
sylvester Kimbalrs family are moving
into John Li5by's house.
The teac ers fng the summer telms are
District No. / Ella Hatch; No. >, Miss
May Jordan NJ. 1. Miss Damson M. )
ElaJ Dore; NJ, t, Miss Elsie Folsom
No. 5. Emma Clsrk; NJ. ., Florence
Bartlett No 10, Alice Leighton; No. IL,
Leota Brown. All but three belong in
town.
Alice Laughton teaches in Ripley again
this summer.
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07
Athens

Prot. Wigsin favored his students will
ntalk' on Edward Bellamy's Looking
Backward the 2lSt, illltss having pre-
''u''' IT ~ Il 3a'I' ; lecture
jam s Il Nhy has been appo nted post
'hASi'' III PIA'e OF itenry bartlett teAgh
vi
The s'u lrnts of Somerset Academy
have cleared away the RUBBISH in front
OIL lae cam NJ m are preparing to pian'
a a, map al 'otie 'EefsFeehs on afooi
I'm
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07
sheriff sale


SouusEr, IS ,.... -.
Taaru tlits dtb ,la, Of My, \ - ~, o'i a,
rut IN dated Am tenth, ID. lsf' lSsafh on !"
mi 4tnruf rrutiHrrI IA tic Suutrinc 1uuh i"i
nuri rnt the >aid Cuunly u sum sti. ~ tn'
Term Thereof nrlnu aud holden at SNn" neg ~,
" ittin and Tor Inc county ol Sohlclr'' uu 'i't
ilI5I Tuesday al Alifeh, y. l>9l, IN taYor
Stillnrm 4 " ifl,rr 81 fmhden, ii Tue GUM
Of samersct, cuflac,nf oI utNeso! s1Id i9M',' Huu
n.ninst Harriet Batgiteld ~ SAID Elil o1g,.
lur for'N onr dg llt' and ri;nlN ~ Ca ~
niue cent to-l.p. -H't. aud WI ne , en- ~
public nuette a the uillceot Is II ; -, I"
auso4. In -Hid GauluA ol somerset on ne ~ ~.
teen h duy al Iunr \ u is3l' " -" " ~ a.,
sam or had ON fu '7ibdiy nj February. u,
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07


Tine Ny Ot.eau> GEsH 1as4 I've p
has. as,5r 4 ree,at ou al. ..~r r tn.
........#a.,=z...,.=# #i,...##I.. ,.-.#....#...
-, d..
iSNth.l Ha} ~! ti' faI-# W.
L. Tie July says
Th,.c,ndi.f5p .sr ..fr,.r. i'm fiijs csmro5i.
fty u.3oa.,tlf.f5p class # yi,,s,,. r..,f iau
lad reached .rI.a a tate tia. IA. lav il.
.,lf ANS VEL uI4.a p4,,prIe.s - dead win
them, ST.. fe4,Alns WI, their power All In.
Hl.t,ra In the trial Of .riluinsl c,-s.
God citizens were #prlfoeniIy imprrs,e
Dg tie repeated and sigma failures II in=.
Icc. C,rIa.nlg thl- Wa a desperate ~I..
uttipu. In the puzzle me,tar. gcn. rail
ard .pont4aeeu- In it, character. ms NM,
indicating Al upriSiu. of the misses. w.
ttduHta If any power at command ~ In
authorities would hay. nfru sufficient Il,
overcome it,. intentions.
Ina#ryii.u,,. f. brf,fr H. fr.ru efi.f.,i
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07

There is belief current in all parts Of
India that n certain variety Of snak,
called Shesh Nag, when it attains tn,
az IF 1.oao years, has a precious jewe
formed in its head. The Jewel, it /,
affirmed. possesses the quality Of sucking
up the poison Of the deadliest snake il
applied to the wounded part. Strangely
enough Il Paris gentleman is reputed IA
possess this invaluable Jewel. according
to a correspondent Of a Gujarati weekly
published at Wadhwan, in Gujarati
The correspondent says that when tht
prcs'n owuer-who. by the way. is now
sixty three-was twenty-thrre years ole
he lighted upon snake If the abov,
mentioned variety which he killed Their
be- found the jewel in his head 1t ha,
already saved several lives.
When Mr.. Vidal, the collector IF tn,
district, was there. it was shown to hin
too. The Jewel is said In contain thin
crescent like fiber, which increasingly
osciliiates in the center. The gaikwal
Of Baroda, the maharajah Of kolhapur
and several of her native princes are sale
to have offered several hundred Thousand
rupees for this unique Jewel. The NAME
of the owner is Mr.. FraInji Dadabba
Goyekar Tarspur, Bombay presidency
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07

winter, We hay - chronicle the assembly
hst week rf tarut, uue of ti4e ueighbnrs
ul Mrs. " Wao ufeptzed thl- wood for
tic ilte and placed IA "a. the wood house
Mrs W f., sAcly eiateinl for taNors re
c,iYed and wishes through this medium to
sincerely thanh thas', who - kindly AS
sisted aud also t4asc whose inclination
wauld have list whose hralul prevented
then attendance
The most of our farmers have their sup
ply Of prepared fertile r GA hand, and
VIII plant mostly sweet corn, although q
few owing to the high price Of feed will
try yellow ceru. \ good very good de
mand fer nearly all that the farmer raises
which ,hould transfer much of the grum-
f bling on Their part To That Of the pnrchas-
F ,r.
4 Sheep shtariug Is in order now with a
prospect of IL good clip and price. De the
farmers prefer twenty-five Cents per pound
+ or free wool and twelve aud one half
cents:
Larone l. interested in orrhardng and
our local CRATER; E BraWu Is a busy as
usual at this time of year.
Geo. Hun who lately s,ld his farm to
j Mrs. Merfifeld, hss moved onto the Cleye-
and farm III South Skowhcgan. Although
sorry to have Mr. II. leagr, We wish him
success in his new home.
Miss Matte Wiuslow has returned from
y } where she has been sojournlnga for
the past year.
Miss Grace Faruham goes to Shawmut,
where She Inns been eugaE for the high
school at that place
M..t.r At.,. lr,as.,tt bo- r, turua1 from,
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07
South horridgdwock

S turday night the ladies OF the Congre
Z tlonal society, gave the operetta "Tht
dress rehearsal The Hall was crowded,
only standing room remaining for late
comrrs. In regard 10 the execution of the
play, only the highest terms of commend.
alton are proper. The management was
most excellent. and all the parts were rem
dcred with spirit aud vim The acting Of
Misses Carr, Wyman. aud Taylor, wa
worthy of special mention.
Miss Edth Powers, who has been spend
ing thu winter with friends in Hartford
goes to NV York This week for shori
visit She will return home in few
weeks.
The Base Ball nine came home from
Skowhesau Inst saturday night, minus tbs
lsurels they had hoped to win.
Mr.. l. \. Mills is much better, and able
to wglk about
George Carleton spent the Sabbath witt
hi- friends her, returning to Monmouth
on Monday.
Mr., Emery is ale to wax out, and rid,
about town.
The mission all concert at the Baptist
chapel, lest Sunday evening, Was well at
tended md very Interesting.
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07
GENE RAJ,

President Balmaceda has solicited the
good oil a. of Brsx nted States n d
France in the eflIrt To restore peace IL
chilli President Balmaceda asked these
three cou - II In tie cud aavuts
they make in this direction.
Patrick O'Brieu, NJ. P, sentenced II
Court Clonmtl To six months imprisen
ment. ON the charge OF having conspired
to induce tenants IN the Smith Barry es-
tate not 10 nav rent, was released today
his term Of Imprisonment having expired.
Most Rev William Common Magee, |.
D.. Archbishop of York, is dead IL
was born In Cork in lS2i.
Lsborers on the island Of Navasss a e
on a strike aud the United States steamer
kearsarge has landed q force for pro
lection of people ON the island who alt
meuaced.
The house of the miner at Mons, Il /
GUM, who refused u 20 out on STRIKE
was completely wrecked Tuesday by the
explosion Of dynamite cartridge which
had been placed in the building. The po-
lice are investigating.
At a banquet in his honor at Dasel lori,
Monday evening, Emperor william, after
expressing satisfaction at the conclusion
Of the commercial treaty with Austria,
said AS to the home policy which is be
coming established. | shall not deviate a
hairs breadth from the course | have
adopted. | alone am master in this country
aud nobody else" His emphatic language
is evidently directed at Prince Bismarck.
who is opposed TO the treaty with Austris.
Hon. AlphOuso TAFT, ex-secretary Of
a 81 NJ -
The Somerset reporter., 1891-05-07


fi''.i9 my n'' successfully opposed OF
escaped hliiWaNs ana wagon roads
may ana must ', ilid on river Hood
plans out In. 'inbthfinentS and tres
ti'9 anu nriis,7 st"lIia oe r'used not
oniH a'"F' lAe latest lfeshft MARI hnt
"''i u 'Ne Inc 2f'5t1 natural mood marx
i'Ail IN t1' i'i3''i lf0' H. and Inc rep
f''li elects "i e'lli'ii 'ih'lt' aud "ther
STRUCTURES ~ ''''f4 ire Is si'oiiid De
t''.tt'7'H T', A.''''tl, f'I'I49 may ana
OIL " r ioCtl'd "a l'ttlir bottom
i'il7 'nFieari ny annual OF d'teiliilai
overflow, hNt IN. farmers sH"nId dig
deep i'f ms i5'i'';ii.i. i5 anu hulii LIS
slp'rS'r'ietnres fa'l- anu hlSh'
CA every Ill pam 1T eastern Amer
len iie Nhan'H lio''.i' Tor the los al crop
ana l'h''as once I'll liir'e' .r hY'' or Ten
year; ana h"th common humanity and