davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
FOOD o THOUGHT.

Goodness is silent.
Sin writes histories.
Life is full OF contradiction.
The humblest occupation has in 1t
materials of discipline for the highest
heaven.
He is poorest who has least love in his
heart.
Revenge is the perogative Of the
brutes.
The surest remedy for evil consists in
forgetting 1t.
What maintsins one vice would bring
up two children.
Vanity Is the passion of a little mind
and a cold heart.
Sinners cannot enter a plea Of Not
iuilty" in Heaven.
The devil works hard, but he never
asks for a vacation.
The present is your eternity, and
never abandons you.
The devil can take almost anything
ue wants out Oh u IOaieT.
Evil thoughts are seeds s~prouting
which the devil has planted.
In order to love mankind, wemust not
expect too much from them.
a box OF italian rabbits has been re
eived Pinalatka, Fla.
Every man feels ~instinctively that
while tenderness of feeling and suscepti-
bility to generous emotions are accidents
OF temperament, goodness is an achieve-
ment OF the will and a quality Of the
life.
Do not expect commercial payment
of the real benefits you may render
mankind. Doing good is the way Of en-
riching character.
The golden beams or truth and the
silken cords OF love, twisted together,
will draw men on with a sweet violence,
whether they will or not.
Flowers are the beautiful hieroglyphics
of nature. with which she Indicates how
much she loves us.
Next year bicycles will be made OF
aluminium and will have the device
known as the pneumatic tire.
Pleasure is like molasse s-too much
of it spoils the taste for everything
Anything that binders people from
becoming Christians helps the devil.
At twenty we know, at thirty we
think we know. at forty we give up.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
How Does She Manage II,

Just how the fashionable woman
who appears night after night clad in
q tulle dress, kid gloves and slippers,
and . pearl necklace, manages to es-
cape pneumonia must ever remain a
problem to vex and bother the doctor
and philosopher. These lovely Great
ures are certainly endowed with great
endurance, whatever may be said of
their sense. Perhaps, as Carlyle said,
"Vanity 10 warmer than down, and
pride rivals the robe of ermine." But
to get at facts, the question was put to
a pretty little creature, who never read
a line Of the sage. az don't feel cold
ut ALL" she said, 'in evening dress.
just before dressing I battle my neck.
arms and shoulders in glycerine and
rose water, and after drying with q
coarse towel, ! have my maid rub me
down with alcohol. l don't need this
at all, but I do 1t to please papa. /
think, however, It il . good Idea, for
my flesh never gets goosey, and this
Ii my second season, and I haven't
had q cold yet. Then I always wear
a warE. wrap in the carriage, and
when / get home I take . warm bath
and 20 to bed."-New York Star.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
STOLE A GRAVE
A coMrA1s's Tough storlss On
Missouri Regiment

A conrA1s's Tough storlss On
Missouri Regiment
Capt o. D.. Evans Of Peoria was =
nember Of the Grand Army cpmmittss
which inspected the soldier'shome the
other day, says tho Quincy Whig'
and while notwithstanding WHIP . party
Of friends told q couple of Ptoriss 70
explain the manner IN htch the
Eighth Missouri infantry ined the
reputation OF being the biga . thieves
In the army. On one OF the marches
they passed a plantation any IN 2 sort
Of q leau-to against a cabs9ciose 70
the road an old negro TI3nan wM
cooking corn pone and bacc{ Just as
the head Of the regiment III abreast
of the shanty auntie wed. into the
house for something or otlf and one
Of the boys slipped into the s,an-to on
q foraging expedition. D-xamined
the stove and then calleM disgust
edly: icy
Boys. here's some NJ ty good
grub, but It isn't half cootA
Hold on a minute; we'Adtlp you,"
was the response, and he Joined
BY a couple Of his comrades, Then
they picked up the stove, bacon. corn
pone, and all. dumped it into b wagon,
piled in some wood, and vent on.
bound to have some mighty good
grub" when 1t was cooked.
They did not confne their thievins
propensities to things to eat On an
other occasion the Eighth Wisconsin
was camped some distances below
Memphis ON the bank OF the river,
and, one OF their number having died,
they dug a grave In which to bury
him. While the Badgers wsrs attend
Ing to the funeral services the Mis-
sourians came down the river In q
transport and landed to give Christian
burial to & comrade who Aad sue
cumbed to a wound received Int skirm-
new-made grave, buried their dead in
It. and left. In q few minutes the
Wisconsin boys came along With re-
versed arms and mufled drums, and,
seeing the little mound Of fresh earth,
one Of them exclaimed: ''By1George,
somebody has stole our grave" And
they dug a 9 one,
1t was the Eighth Missouri which
10 Eaid 10 have created the basis for
4 story credited to half the regiments
IN the service:
They had been in camp several day 5
at some place Ia Tennessee when an
anraged farmer complained TO the
colonel that his men had robbed him
Of half his chickens,
How many chickens did ydu have?''
asked the officer
Fifty"
And how many were take19u
"Twenty-eight."
Then my men didn't have hnything
! do with your chickens. my good sir
You are on the wrong trail"
But l know they did"
"Oh, but l know they didn't i
they had they would have taken ever
planned chicken on the roostt
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
Itumbled bark and rolled over in tbe

tumbled back and rolled over In the
sand, white hat and all.
1paused not in my flight till l Preached
the plum orchard, a hundred yards
away, and then l stopped to listen to
P~onchartrain, who had sneaked along
after me, and after / fired on the en-
envy Ponch took after the horse and
ran him out of sight, baying at every
jump. He then few back and made
a dash at Dick, who was trying to
keep him off with his hat.
As I plunged into the orchard and
stopped to listen I heard somebody
laughing fit to kill, and looking around
there lay Cousin Kate on the grass,
convulsed with laughter.
She had come down there to eat .
few green plums and salt and had seen
the whole affair.
She didn't see me, and I slipped out
and scooted away toward the branch
head, where / stopped and listened to
Grandpa trying TO make Ponchartrain
come off.
That settled Dick fuckers courtship.
So soon as the dog was called off Dick
got his breath, and of all the cursing
that I ever heard, he did it right there.
/ didn't blame him.
was glad of it, for he had always
talked to Grandpa and Cousin Kate
like sugar wouldn't melt in his mouth;
and I just wanted Grandpa to know
him in his true character.
It was late supper time when I skunk
into the kitchen, and 1 felt like going
out and eating some green Chinaber-
ries to kill myself.
1 just knew that Grandpa was going
to make me know that there a a
hereafter.
But strange TO say, the old man
looked al me right straight, and then
broke out in a big laugh.
"Why, Kate, I do rally believe the
Soy's agwine to git hearty. knowed
that Jerusalem oak would do him good.
Go and take your cinders, my son, for
you're gittin' some blood in your face
1t last"
Cousin Kate gave me a curious look,
and then I saw the blood rush to he's
face, and she seemed to be choking t.
laugh. 1 felt like crying until she
came and whispered:
"Don't feel bad about 1t. He's so
proud and frisky that 1 wanted to see
him took down just a little bit, any.
bow"
All, winsome Kate! long are the days
since last we met. But when your
prototype reads this story she will fog
give me for mixing up your sweet fac
with this ridiculous story.
Fitted to be the heroine of a sweeter
story than l a pen, your spirituelle
face shines out like a star among the
broken clouds of these ragged remi-
Folsom.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
ood ~SarsapaiiHa

FLooREp.-The Duchess Sham.
coddy-.Our Epeli n girls are more at.
tractiye to men than your American
girls"
Miss Manhatfan-"How 1t then
that your men s EN- to prefer american
wives?"
The Duchess-"The exp'abstion in
those exceptional cases is ply that
the Romeo needs money.H
Miss Maubattan-s.Ths |ow is 1t
that American millionaire t marry
some of your English Juliet5(
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
NJ. de I~esseps,s Interesting Family.

NJ. and Nine. de Lesseps held q re-
ception a few evenings ago, where the
chief attraction was the presence Of all
the old mans children, the Two by his
first marriage and the eleven by his
second. His eldest "boy" 10 about
fifty-five years of age, and his youngest
child, a daughter, Gisele, is four years
old; the age of the eldest child = 10
sixty-seven. Comte de Lesseps him
self is now in his eighty-ffth year; he
is rapidly breaking up-or down, but
still retains a good TOW Of animation
for a gentleman never at any time mer-
curial. They say the failure of the
Panama Canal has never affected him;
he believes that his scheme 10 being
victimized by q conspiracy.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Nothing ha. ever yet .equalled St. Bernard
Vegetable Pills, to cure disease BY stimulating
healthy digestion, nutrition, secretion and eN'
erection, purifying the blood, building up de.
pressed vital force. removing COMPOSITIONS and
literally stand alone. A sample Of the st.
Bernard Vegetable Pills will be sent free to
all applicants. Address, st. Bernard, Box 24l6,
Nav York
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

diseased portion Of the ear. There Is only one
way to cure deafness, and that Is by c~onstltu-
tional remedies. Deafness Is caused by an In
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in.
famed you have q rumbling sound or Imperfect
hearing, and when 1t Is entirely closed, Deaf
can be taken out and this tube restored to its
normal condit on, hearing will be destroyed
forever F; nine cases out Of ten are caused by
eatarrh, which 10 nothing but an inf1amed con
dition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give Dine Hundred Dollars for any
case OF Deafness (caused by catarrh) that we
cannot cure by taking Halls Catarrh Cure
send fol circulars. free.
Sold by druggists rs cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
One Thousand Dollars

! will forfeit the above amount, u fail 70
prove that Floraplexion Is the best fedicine IN
existence for Dyspepsia, Indigestion or blilous-
ness. 1t is certain cure, and atforfs lmiIeul-
ate relief, in cases OF Kidney and tlver Com
plant, Nervous Debility and Consumption
Floraplexlon builds up the. weak systein and
cures where other remedies fail. ASK your
druggist for it and get well. Va!taple pook
Things Worth Knowing. +" also, saffple bottle
sent free: all charges prepaid. Address
Franklin Hart. IS Warren Street NEW YORK.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

ANKw YORK CLARA WERE WERE.
Miss. Van Wirt-'No, Lord NORTH
bury, l could never marry you. Your
are not my equal" Y,
Lord Northbury-"Not your equaN
Why, the blood Of the F~lantagenets
courses in MY veins. When your great
grandfather was a pretty Du' oh trader,
mine was sitting in the House Of Lords"
Miss Van Wirt-"Yes, but when
your great-grandfather was sitting In
the House of Lords, mine was puying
up town lots on DroI lway." /.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

AN UNFEELINe BRUTA-Mrs. Young
husband-''Even though you sneer at
at my tea biscuits you have managed to
eat your share Of Them"
Younghusband - "Had to, my
dear. II there were any left the baby
might get hold of them. They'd kill
him.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

After forty years of immersion in
the waters of the pool of Ectoschacht,
not far from H~ermannstadt, several
human bodies have been brought to
surface in a stats Of perfect prestr'
vatinn.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
company.

Two PECULIAR FACES.-Mrs. Bills
doo-"Wnat peculiar faces, Mrs. Bullion,
the Japanese give the figures they put
upon their wares"
Johnny Bullion (unsoliclted) "TheS
can't hold q candle to the faces my pop
per puts on when mommer gives him the
bills for Them"
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

ATE UNDER PROTEST. well" said
Brown to his neuly-married friend
$50 your wife does the cooking. won.
der you are alive to tell the talel"
"Yes," replied the other, '.but l am
aliYa-aliYe and klcking.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

A writer IN the London spectator
thinks that If parrots could be made to
breed in captivity, the parent birds
might teach their young to talk, just as
the canaries teach their accomplishment
10 their little one
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

At sitka, Alaska, the shortest day In
the year, December Il, is only six hours
long. the sun riaing ut nine and setting
at three. The longest day, June ri, 10
eighteen hours, the sun rising at three
and setting ct nine.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Il has been suggested that a good way
to rid . town Of moths would be to set
up Q powerful electric light on the out.
skirta The moth has an instructive
fondness for Light. and especially the
electric light.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Warm weather often causes extreme tired
feeling and debility, and in the weakened con.
dition Of the system, diseases arising from i'm
pure blood are liable to appear. To gain strength
to overcome disease, and to purify, vitalise
md enrich the blood, AXE Hoods Sarssparllls
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

A new toy for children lisa plain sheet
OF paper on which the figure Of some
.pimal has been traced with an invisible
and fre-proof solution. The paper is
set on tire on the edge, andi 1t burnsaway,
leaving the figure intact.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

PAnopoxIcAL.- Stern Parsnt-"l
say, Mr.. Softleigh?"
Eoftleigh-"Yes. SIR"
Stern Parent-"You seem to stay
around a great deal FOR q man who isso
badly gone a. you are."
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

SOMETHING OF A LIE .-She-lsn't
Doctor Anderson very absent-mindedP"
Hs-"Yes. That's why he never
married, He went to kiss his sweet.
hearts hand once and vaccinated her
instead"
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

CaRn'A kidney Cure for
Dropsy, Gravel, Diabetes, Bright's,
.Ieart, Urinary or Liver Diseases, Nerv-
usness, sc. Cure guaranteed. s3l
Arch Street, Philad'a. 81 a bottle,
or SIS, or druggist. 1000 certificates OF
'ures. Try 1t.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Rupture cure guaranteed by
Dr.. j. B. Mayer, S3l Arch st., Phll's,
Pa. Ease at once, no operation or de-
lay from business, attested by thou.
sands Of cures after others fail, advice
free, send for circular.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

ARTFUL JACK.-"Why didn't you
write oftener 10 10 my letters,
Jackp" she asked, tearfully.
because, dearest" he remarked,
''yours were SO long and Interesting
that l spent all the time readifR Them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Money invested In choice one hundred dol.
lar building lots In suburbs of Kansas City will
pay from i've hundred to one thousand per
cent. the next few years under our plan. SIS
trolls a desirable lot. Particulars on applica-
ton. j. II. Bauerleln & Co. Kansas CITY, Mo.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Tie famous Adelsberg grotto on the
road to Trieste. Italy. was recently ex-
plored. when discovery was mate of two
uther grottos ard a number of corridors
communicating with the principle grot-
tn
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Joseph Manlove is making money
running a water farm in Indiana. He
-aises only fish and frogs.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Mrs. Jacob Benton. of LanJlster' N.
n. GAS been an invalid for over five
wears. During that time she has learned
to speak and write Eve language.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Lee Was Chinese Headache Cure. Harmless
In eject, quick and positive In action. sent
prepaid on receipt ofQ per bottle. Adeier q Co.
o2 Wyandotts St, Kansas City, Mo.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Did you ever 90 within q mile Of q soap fac
toryf II so you know what material they make
soap OF. DobbiUs' Electric Soap factory is as
free from odor as a chair factory. Try It once,
Ask your grocer Tor 1t. Take no imitation.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Mortgages on Kansas City property, interest
PAYABLE every six months ; principal and inter.
est collected when due and RENTED without
Co, Kansas City, Mo. Write for particulars.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

"Wom7n Her Diseases and Their fTest-
nent" a valuable illustrated book OF seventy
two pages sent free, on receipt OF lQc,, TO cover
cost OF mailing, etc. Address, r. y. Box luce
Phila., Pa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

A western cowboy committed suicide
ecause a thirteen-year-old gtrl refused
, marry him
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

WONDERS OF sc1ENcE.-Lhdy-"D
you take instantanf ous photograph"
Photosrapher-"Yes, madam; l eau
photograph a humming. birh on III
sing, or a swallow in its tight"
Lady, want my bIbyls pi ,ture
AIKEN"
Photographee-"Yes, msSiam. Get
'helittle fellow ready, aud Twill pre-
are the chloroform."
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

A stray cat in Wisconsin carried dip
iberia into a family, and caused the
death of five children,
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

The operation of cutting diamonds
omprises three phases splitting, shap
:"g AMI polishing.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

\ SHE GOT A SERVANT. - Husband
lnarried n year)-"Why, Eta, what
has>become Of your wedding ringP"
Wie-'.I wore It out"
Hus6aSd-aHow could YOU wear II
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

liafBicted with sors eyes use DR.. Isaac rhomp-
sonsEys-water. Druggists sel q 30. per ootrs
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

EtTS3 An nm stopped rrss py N. Hines arss
Nerve Aestersr. Ne fin afssg frR days use Nas
yelous cureA Trsaf1se and q % ria 6ostle tree 70
kncaseA send 70 DE- Kline ISL Arcn X PnrA., "a
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Parties In Nova Scotia are making ar
rangements with steamship companies
for the expectation Of live HOLSTERS to
England.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Timber, Mineral, Farm Lands and Ranches
In Missouri. Kansas, Texas and Arkansas,
bought and sold. Tyler s Co, Kansas City. Mb.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

The horse that General Grant last
used Is leading a comfortable life on a
farm near St. Louis, No.. where 1t is
tenderly cared for.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Oklahoma Guide Boo SIND Map sent anywhert
nreceipt Of 50cts,T r. Ter kansa City, Mo
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

The skeleton Of the average English
man weighs about twenty-five pounds.
IL cremated, the ashes turn the scale
at about q quarter Of o pound.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Fraser Axle Grease.
Don't work your horses TO death with
poor axle grease; the Frazer ID the only re-
liable make. Use 1t once. and you will
have NO other.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

A woman in New York City furnish
es love letters at 81 apiece,
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Too MANY FINGERS IN rue PIE
She-"What, you love mer Cvny, you
do not know enough about Ane yct.'
He (having seen her IA hers rSslne
In Dradstreetl-t,I know enough 70 iove
you and ask you to be my wife.",,
She-"Ah, ifyou knew all You YOU'D
not ask that"
He-"What, Is your heaftln the
graveP"
she-"No. but l have nine younger
sisters.
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Albany, Oregon has pumpkin weigh
! ing 1oo2 pounds
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
Poisoned
by SCrOfula

Is me sad story Of many lives made miserable
through no fault Of their own. ScTofula Is more
especially than any other n hereditary aisease,
and for this simple reason: AriSin$ rom I'M
pure and insufficient blood, the dtsets Sc locates
itself in the %lymphatics, which &rf composed
Of white tissues there is a period Of ietal lie
when the whole body consists Of wFte tissues,
and therefore the unborn child is especially
snsceptible To this dreadful diseased But there
Is q remedy for s~crofula, whether hereditary
or acquired 1t Is Hoods Sarsaparpila, which
by Its powerful effect upon the blYoa, expeis
every trace Of the disease and gives 70 tne vital
fluid the quality and color Of health II you
decide to take Hoods Sarsaparilla 40 not ae-
eept any substitute.
Hoods ~SarsapaiiIIa
Sold by all druggists. q six for 81 Prepared
only by c. l. HOOD s CO, Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

John Hanson Craig, of Danville, Ind.
weighs over 600 pounds
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03
HUMOROUS.

PREcAUTIoS MEAsUEE.-M sria's
inquired Mr.. Billus, what aino OF a
girl is this second cousin OF yours
coming to visit usp" -.
~ DON'T know much about ner, an
sverad Mrs. HtlI,s. except, that she
is said to be a quite pretty, sro-"nere
are you gong, John?', -
al am going to take that lug from
the hilary floor and put it dowffn IN front
Ut the big looking glass;"
The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-03

Wife-"Doing the housework."
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-12
IT'S ENGLISH. YOU KNOW.

Is the Cause of All These Troubles Of
Uncle Sam.
WASHINGTON, Nov, 1l.-Much indignation
is expressed At the state and navy depart
ments at the conduct of certain English
newspapers in ascribing foolish sentiments
and remarks to Minister Egan and Capt.
Schley in connection with the pending
questions between the Gillian and the
United States governments. No n here
believes what the papers assert, and the
opinion is held in tho departments that the
English papsra in question are engaged IN
IN effort to ferment the growth OF the feel
ing of luminosity by Chilians against the
people of the United States. In the case of
Brazil, no word has been received from
Minister Conger tending TO confirm the
story of the revolt Of three of the prin-
Opal Brazilian provinces which is
also reported from English sources. There
is a disposition here to also attribute to the
English papers q desire to embarrass the
Brazilian authorities who are responsible
for the negotiation of the reciprocity treaty
with the United States, inasmuch as this
arrangement has already sens:bly extended
the between Brazil and the
United States.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-12
Only Wanted to See It.

A very ~swell-laoking, middle-aged man
apparently every inch of what IS termed q
man of the world, entered a Broadway car
coming downtown yesterday at Thirty
third street. says the New York Times.
When the conductor came in for his fare
the swell -looking, middIe-aged man ad-
dressed him very politely, saying:
'kindly let me know when we reach the
Fifth Avenue hotel"
The Car rolled along. The street crossing
leading to the entrance of the Fifth Avenue
hotel was reached. and the car was brought
to a halt by the conductor. The swsll-look-
ing, middle-agsd man was sitting sideways,
gazing out upon the beauties Of Madison
square.
Fifth Avenue hotel!" the conductor
shouted in the door.
The swell-looking, middle-aged man
bolted around in his seat and began to stare
at the hotel.
Fifth Avenue hotel!'' shouted the con-
ductor again, coming into the car. Thsn,
the swell-looking, middls-aged man did not
move. be added somewhat testify: "Here
is the Fifth Avenue hotel, sir; ara you going
to get out?"
why, no." responded the swell-looking,
middle-Gged man, gurprisedly. II only
wanted to see the hotel. Heard 30 much
about it, you know"
Ihe passengers laughed in spite Of them
selves. and the conductor went back to his
station and jerked tho bell-strap yiciously.