Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1891-01-15
TIE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Did Not Follow--A Natural Cues
tion.-she Didn't Know-Nothing
to be Gained, &C., &c.


ton. She Didn't Nothing
to be Gained, &C., &c.
DID NOT FOLLOW.
''Did you ever notice that children
often turn out almost the exact opposite
OF their parents2"
ooh, yesn
.'By the way, did you know my
father2"
Every slightly, but | always heard he
was most talented man. list. Joseph
News.
A NATURAL QUESTION.
"Of course, love will make the world
go round, but what's to make the kettle
boilT'
~ don't altogether see the needs of
its constantly boiling, dear.''
why, love-" she continued, eff not,
how else in the world could l keep you
in hot water4"- Philadelphia Times.
SHE DIDN'T KNOW.
eyes, | heard all about her engage
ment last night Her chum was in our
theater party, so it's reliable"
Were you at the theatre2 What was
the play?"
Bless me- now that you remind me,
| don't remember But we had splen-
did time, and her engagement is certain"
--[Philadelphia Times.
NOTHING TO BE GAINED.
Little Son-What was you and Mr.. De
Bate talkin' so loud about2
Father-We were having an argument
about the duty on copper. He thinks it
ought to be removed and / think it
ought not.
Would removing it make pennies any
cheaper"
mo, my son."
''fhen don't see the use of bothering
with it, Good News.
AN AWKWARD SITUATION,
PA, l wish you'd get a girl to mind
the door, said Ethel.
"Why2n
because it was very embarrassing last
night when that odious Mr.. Barrows
called for me to tell him / was not at
home. y New York Sun.
EVEN-HANDED JUSTICE.
Justice-You are charged with com
hitting an assault on this man and black
ing his eye. What have you to saw, sir2
Gentleman-YourH Honor nv wife lost
a pet dog, and I caught this fellow
bringing it back.
Justice--You are discharged, but as
for you, you miserable scalawag with
black eye, the next time you steal a
lady's dog and don't keep it, I'll
send you up for six months. Il New York
Weekly.
AREAL NICE REPLY.
eyes" said Miss Amy, refectively, 81
was born with a silver spoon in my
mouth
''lt must have been a very small spoon, y
replied Mr.. Dolley.
ARRANGING THE OFFICES.
''Now, in this little republic we are
going to establish" remarked Young
Mr. Hunker to his fancee, "of course. /
shall be President
YES, replied the rare and radiant
maiden; land I'll be Secretary of the
Treasury
Perhaps, we had better consolidate
the offices of President and Secretary of
the Treasury" suggested the young man.
You can have cabinet place, how
ever. How would you like to do your
own cooking and SO be Secretary of the
Interior"-[New York Sun.
UNAvAILINa REGRET.
Mikosch in Vienna one day undertook
for wager to eat ten large suet dump
lings, If the other man would stand him
In drink. The bet was accepted and he
began to eat, but only managed to polish
off nine of the lot. After a long and
meditative stare at the last one which
was left on the dish he lifted UP his
finger and said:
''IIad but known that YOU would be
left | would have eaten you first!"
EASILY ANSWERED.
Little Marjorie has an inquiring mind.
She is pursuing her education according
to the Socratic method--of question and
answer-and keeps the older members
of the family pretty well employed.
"Oh, papaW she cried, running after
that busy man as he was Just starting
or his office, 'wait just minute, please
have two important questions I want to
ask YOU
81 can't stop now Marjorie said her
father, Pm in great hurry this morn
ing
1T won't take you but just minute
to answer them, papa, pleaded Marjorie,
"for YOU ALWAYS know ahoat every