Telegram-herald., 1891-08-09

whose surpr1ssa ana oengnsed ymru
stomach wss tosssd across the troubled
deep within the ysax now only hAlf
gore by.
That is the reason Why MrsL Tenant
sfterward spoke % bitterly Of her hill st
the vendom-. Her guest had ..dons her
~. as we say here In America. especially
among tie lower Glasses. II one may
SPEAK IN thar way here. and think one
may Il one pays ones bills.
Hamilton suffered most severely in
the west. He found no eongeniaI society
there. ell the Englishmen Of his stripe
having been hanged ON their arrival. or
On most anything else in fact that came
handy in prairie country where timber
is rare AMI hard to ger hold Of.
lie bears Down especially hard On Col
or1do Springs AMI Beaver. two Of the
most delightful eitiss in the world, for
know. having visited Paris. London aud
East saginaw within the past two years,
I.aying my hotel bills and either black
Ing my own boots OF gladly putting up
for IL.
| cail the attention OF every crowned
bead in Europe TO the fact that while at
their tables did not ask what was COM
ins next or what their victuals cost
taen laid down. am not regarded ~
a stickier for social high church or mon
key business when I make formal call
on a monarch or p. P. q. call on roy.
atty but when cease 10 pay for the pol
iSh that glints and glitters on my bright
young bunions. or fork over my liquor
bills for ". Q. T. u. 20 pct up for,
may M night hand cleave 10 the roof Of
my mouth. and an incensed people play
shinney DER my forgotten grave.
Mr.. Aide did not like the surprise
party Of the rancho out west. He will
like il less the next time he is invited.
Western people s-e informal. but their
hearts are warm. They arc hospitable
10 degree that would naturally sur
prise and unmsn . real man for the mo-
reciallv. however.
But the west hates to have an honored
guest walk on It's wishbone with Next
can spurs. II feels hurt and resents it.
l have lived nearly all my life in the
west. and say without fear Of success
ful contradiction that any mani do
not refer now TO Mr. Aide-who has
been the guest Of the west, and who then
seeks to earn eight dollars and forty-five
cents by running down his host, is not
only cad and triumphant ass, but he
Ia unworthy in every possible way on
earth. and totally disappointing except
In the way Of stimulation to tardy to-
mato crop.
After being guest in the American
''parlour" he turns 10 and seeks to be-
mire and besmirch. by sstire and such
things, the furniture and decorations Of
his illguided hostess, whose error was in
not showing him to the sty and letting
HIM look over the album.
Possibly may be charged with speak
ing too directly on this subject, but it is
only my own opinion. do not hold the
paper responsible, and il Mr.. Aide does
not like it he may readily reach me by
post.
He SAYS we pronounce vase - we do
gaze. This is not true. have not pro-
nounced it that way now for over year.
Mr.. Aide is 100 severe on us. He saw
our beautiful scenery whenever the rail-
roads gave him passes. and he was en-
tertained by those who had never seem
that kind of fauna before. and he went
home and tried 10 make a Rudyard Kip
ling of himself. thinking that he was =
critic when it was really collie that allied
him.
He did not like it because our ladies
did not allow him 70 see them work.
This was in Difference to him. for no one
ever saw him work. He says he pre-
sumes that ladies' here do secretly work,
bnt he missed 1.-The pleasant litter Of en-
ployment."
If he will come among Us again at
some time in the future he will probably
notice the pleasant litter Of employment.
and he will furnish tie most of it himself.
Afterward detected Englishman may
be seen going home with his pancreas in
the morning paper.
He did not like orr theaters: especially
those. judge. who did not remember
him ut the door, and who did not feel
like giving him a box because he con-