Telegram-herald., 1891-11-03
IERRORS OF 4 SCRAPB
at the Hands Of the Loquacious
Cub Barber
VEo TALKS AID SLisaES AID IABS
~. sWaas ssd sutshsrs Until =
1 Drsakea Maa j. sehersa Up ana fiii-
cd VIA Appreissnsiss Years tor
His Life a is YslftlsA

kas sad. There l. time Tor tears
aad a time Tor rejoicing. one never
realizes the tremendous truth express
eli - this double headed aphorlsln un-
"a hs has been shaved by = cub barber.
The time for tears 70 course down the
manly cheek is during the operation
Aad the rejoicing comes when the
axOny - over. Ii l. commonly az
eepted that a certain dszree "a skill
~ required Tor the scFapiHg OF a dead
hog. Tor when the last death struggle
h over and the iifeless porker has been
soussd m a eask OF boiling water, his
rsirn sies- assassin wipes his CORY hands
and carefully snpervises the removal
Of the bristles- IL his assistant wields
the eandlestiek elHmsiis and peels mp
the hide, be - rudely pushed aside
and the boss butcher does the work
hsmself IL l. different In barber
shop. The proprietor Is usually like
Spartaeus. "a savage chef OF still more
savage men," calm. cold and merci-
bess. He has been a tyro himself and
has developed into a tyraat. Con-
tsnual association with scenes OF hui
nan suffering has ealloused bis finer
senslbilisies, and the agonizing groans
OF th0se who are IN torment, disturb
him no more than the notes OF the
distant hand organ playing around
the corner.
The typical cub barber Is a tall.
rawboned youth with warts on his
knuekles- His chief requisites are
strength so stand In = strained unnat-
urai position for twelve or fourteen
hours on "A stretch and an ability TO
extract whiskers suddenly without de
eapltatlng his victim. His first pa
tient Il usually man who comes
into the shop drunk and boisterous.
The poor wretch is conducted TO the
darkest corner OF the shop and seated
tn the inguisitoral chair. The eush-
bon Is usually stuffed with bntternuts
for the purpose of detracting his at
teatiOQ from the agonies 10 come.
The unsuspee ting boozer jams him
sill into the chair and growls out,
Look ahere. young feller. I want
serape, and I want II blamed quick,
dye see?"
The young man SEES and makes
ready for the operation that will dis
figure a fellow creature for life with
as much calmness as he could prepare
TO cut cheese
las he Jams the mans nose full OF
lather
Its again my way b'gosh,' he re-
spends, snortang the foam away like
q race horse
.'Are you a republican,"
SAY, young feller, do look like
1t? Just size me up"
mo, you don't hardly look like ona,
t. fuat \ 1a1
man
sYou make me tired. Me work. Well
guess rot; anyway, not during cam
raign times I'm q democrat, that q
what I am"
BY this time he Is iathered from his
collar bones To his eyebrows and the
yourg man takes from the drawer an
Instrument that looks like q cross
between . buzz-saw and a broad-ax.
The words Wade and Butcher are on
the blade AMI the barber proceeds to
follow the directions In reverse order.
He butchers his victim and wades In
his blood. Taking a firm grip on the
mans ear he twists his head to star
board and puts his cleaver into the
bristles on the upper part OF his cheek.
To dst<act his attention from the i'm
pending stroke he renews the converse
tion. What DO you thsak Of Bel
knap's ehances?"
''He amt IN II. Charles a good
enough feilsr. but be amt putin up
no stua and ugh, WOW WOW, Murder!''
Trouble has commenced. The cub has
lost his ear hold but ne has a better
one on the mans hair and keeps IL
while be surveys the blade critically
and takes a mental inventory OF the
harvest. Three moles, six pimples,
and . swath OF bristles, roots and
ALL he mutters-
The man struggles 70 get away
but the cub Whispers fiereeiy In his
ear. "ff you escape I lose my Job. !
cant afford 10 DO IL, go you sit still
or I'll draw this across your wind
pspe." A cold perspration mingles
with the oozAnx gore upon his face.
'tFov Gods sake. spare ma" he be2s
with pleading eyes and tremb bling
vosxs.
"sh-h-h, eoufound you be quiet. or
- he raieee the dripping blade with
4 threatening air. and che poor
wretch sinks hack covering with fear.
wow then. q yoall keep still q min
ute. III put some S this cocaine solu-
tion on your face. and that will make
r. kind o. numb like"
III give you a dollar TO let me
up
s.Couidn't think of n. ia be ruined
you see. thls stuff Will fix you SO IL
won't hurt much"
The azorly goes on untkl the Job Is
done and then the cub staunches the
flowing blood with towel and stops
its Cow hy rubbing q cake OF alum
over she wounds.
Hair cut, Mrs.
Me-
''sshampoos'
sNo.'-
ssYour head is awful dirty"
''T don't care. want TO keep what
kttle there b left q it,
Raw rum or lavender waterf.
II don't care which. Put befixsne on
and light u n you want 20. I believe
it would isei good after what I have
safssrei.''
The hooser T. soner now snd he
tcrm~ntcr Hxes h'm ap 90 the best of
h-S ability ard dumps him out of the
eAat-. The boy with a brush broom
whssks The customer few times o.
ne shoulders ard whseks htm twIce
ssr0ss ths stomach. As the man drope
sfane tneo the proprietor.s slammy
raw the cab snariz cut Next n =
harsh rrstsax votce. and his victim
dives out through the door for fear
Ne may catch him sgain.
srertss psrses~.&
EukcA~r- How wsuld sasi3ie 81 mt
Aru sass yesi. rns'~ssf