Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-05-03

Dknfe.
OF eoase it Is 10 be expected that on
. dining car one can get beefs:aak AID
soft boiled eggs and toast and coffee. bu;
here are . few kitchen articles ont Of
about iive hundred on the hst which We
would hardly expect 10 fad. Bottle
holders. bar straiaers. Cigar holders,
liquor jigyers. lemonade shakers. mus
tard cups. towel holders, wine servers,
butter prints. can openers. ice sh2vers.
cigar box knives, wire cutters, apple
corers. Marie Bains, bossae bruahes. Gro
queste molds, cake turner's, flesh forks,
egg slcers. iae cleaners, garnishing sets,
ice tonss, jelly molds. knife keelers,
boring knives. meat saws. paste brushes.
pot chains. wire broilers, water backs,
mustard offers. beaten biscuit, bath
brick and cochineal. are articles that
while dining we rarely call for. and yet
they are there all the tiIae.
Then again. who would think Of call
ing in dining room car for sandalwood,
beeswaz. Oh bearers. sumps. maths,
winchss, peavies. spokeshsves, hoof
mnps, manicure sets, button molds, post
sugers, stump pullers. dental lsthcs,
raisin seeders, pile drivers or shad bonez1
No one. y
At least hope so. For he would not
6nd them.
A young man In Dallas the other day
told mo Of good joke on Drexel. Nor
gan d Co.. and a. they are doing SO web
l presume they win not mind il il tell
IL hsre. You csn never successfully pick
ou prosperous people. Now look at Jay
Gould. have always said what l liked
about Gould. and yet he and are just
a. good friends as ever we were. Idon't
SEQ any difference at all. He never used
to speak TO me, and he also does not yet
But il he had been unfortunate, for
instance, aud life had been failure, or
tho sheriff had made him pay his fine for
not serving as juror last fall, or had
scared him and gsrnisheed his pay at the
Western Union Office, Jay would have
been i'll tempered over what have said,
and either stopped his paper or refused
me the privileges Of his rolling stock;
but now he and just go along as we
used II. It has made no difference with
either Of as We are above it.
Well, the young man said that he went
east . while ago with . letter Of credit
from the Kansas City Safe Deposit and
Savings bank for $500. He went into
Drexel, Morgan q Co.'s and presented
it, asking for 500 ON account. A clerk
took down . soetof time table and looked
over it, then he asked the young man to
be seated . moment He did 90. There
was moro consulting Of The directory.
Later on . wide blue policeman came in
and asked tho young msn 10 join him In
q little ssunter. The Texan was TO be
married that evening TO . beautiful
young lady of New York, and so You can
see how little interest he felt in trysting
with fat policeman who shaved him
self.
The young man was shut up in the
cold, matted atmosphere Of tho gaol in
les than half IN hour, the accusers mere
~ telling him that there was no such
bank as he claimed 10 have letter from.
. .
We will now suppose that q week has
passed by. All is bright and clipper in
the gay, glad sunshine, but pain alone is
the portion Of the felon. The young
man from Texas had not changed his
collar for 166 hours. HE trunk had not
been sent up to him, and he had been
II you viii allow me to coin
term.
At that moment the doors opened and
freedom entered. "You are released"
aid . kind old man. "The Messs.
Drcxel. Morgan g Co. present their COM
pliments and regrets. They thought that
Kansas City was in Kansas"
Possibly the joke is ON Drexel, Morgan
3 Co. bat If it is not ON the young man
rom Texas think it is ON Kansas City.
What docs the gentle reader with the
bright, new, crisp, unsalivatsd postage
'tamp for reply think about IL
~ ~ lA