Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-01-07

writer, or the ART Oh HOlulHR uD IOur
Relations And here are sample re-
on the table. ''But you had better begin
at my end OF the transaction. Read in
the book first-the last batch of letters
copied there. | always copy em so as
to keep track of what Pm doing"
| opened tie volume at the place
which he Indicated and began to read
aloud: "'Hiram Griffin, Cleveland.
Ohio: My dear Uncle"
'My my mothers only brother" in
terpolated the scapegrace-"P resbyter-
ian elder-hardware merchant-moral
citizen !
l read on: "'I suppose you will be
devilish glad to learn that / have at last
decided to turn my face homeward. [
am tired of wandering, and it's ID
poor picking out here. l expect to
from you in the meantime. A. lot of
California stock will be entered at the
Fall meeting at Cleveland, and [ think
can fix for both of us to get let in on
the ground floor, so that we can make a
good thing out of it. How are Bill and
Jimmy p"
william and James," said the black
sheep, rolling up his eyes; "his sons,
whom he is bringing up in the way they
should 20, pious youths of Is or there
"T expect they would enjoy the
races and some of life that | could show
them. | plan to spend month in
Cleveland, and perhaps may locate
there. Some of the fellows are making
up party to go to China. If [ had
couple of hundred more I would 90
with them, but have only just enough
to take me home. Your affectionate
nephew, Richard"
"Cold chills ran down his back when
he read that letter." said Mr.. Kerth.
"Here is his reply. He prays for the
salvation of my soul, and enCloses a
check for 5000. See? Read this next
one."
1t was addressed to rs. Van Doosan
Kerth, The Beauchamp, New York
City" and began: Dear Uncle"
Fathers brother" the scapegrace
explained, ''old bachelor, great swell.
He never saw me, and has an idea that
| am very wild and woolly, like every
[ read as follows: 'Dear Uncle, re-
spected brother of my parent take my
pen in hand to let you know that two
weeks from date shall take the train
for your city, and shall visit you at the
Beauchamp House, where you are stay
ing. If you should happen to be out of
town, | will wait until you get back, for
l mean to live in your city hereafter: [
hope to get job there. [ know you
will help me, as your brothers son, to
get job. Perhaps MIR. Beauchamp
would like man to carry trunks. [
know you will be glad to see me. If
could get into the grocery business here
| would stay, and a man | know of will
take me in for 5000. Please look for me
at the depot in the emigrant cars. Your
nephew, Richard"
Imagine Uncle Van Doosan reading
that epistle at his club" said the scape-
grace; 81 wonder it didn't give him
stroke of apoplexy. However, it was
not the first of it's kind. He always
comes up. don't have to whistle twice
to him.
The next was addressed to "Mrs.
Elizabeth Pennington, Germantown,
Philadelphia.
Evan Doosan's sister," said the scape-
grace; 'they have quarreled and won't
compare notes. She is widow, with
fine income and an elegant place. Two
lovely manageable daughters.
The letter set forth the intended visit
of Richard Kerth to the East, and his
plan to spend some time at German
town, at his aunt's residence, if she
wished it so; if not, with some friends
of his there by the name of Boggs.
There were various gallant references
to Mr.. kerth's cousins, and delicate
insinuation that ne would probably fall
in love with one of them during his
visit. There was also casual reference
to the sum Of $3.50.
6 he was short this time" remarked
the W,iier of the letter aloud; "only
send a hundred. Strike her deeper
next time"
There were two more letters in the
batch-both to cousins living in Chicago.
They were full of mysterious hints
about good times to be enjoyed when
he should visit that city shortly. Each
demanded plain loan of fifty dollars.
Il send them to their houses" said
he, with villainous grin; "their wives
time
| noticed that the book was written
nearly full, and that Mr.. Kerth's "visit-
ing list"-if sc it might be called-con-
tanned some ten or fifteen names. Each
letter was dated, and underneath was
entered the result achieved. The latter
was generally favorable.
whenever the machinery gets
rusty" said the scapegrace, (Which
happens every four or five years, /
take trip East and lubricate things.
After that" he added, with a wink, cit
runs better"
I do not know whether I have done
wisely in making these facts public.
For there are many people who might
easily sell their absence at good figure
if they only understood the art.
To Aid His Memory.