The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-11-04
PITH AND POINT.

i ILL AMI i OlN 1s
A net that only big fish get into-Ths
Cabinet.-Tsras Sytings. &
"The coming man" is the fellow who
holds your note.-Columbus Post.
Two counter-irritants "A mustard
plaster and woman shopping. Life.
It doesn't follow that versifer always
produces fervid lts.-Boston Courier.
The man who lives in the public eye
must expect sometimes to be under tho
lash.-Puck. II
When man is out OF spirits it doesn't
follow that he has given up the GHOST
Boston Courier. !
When powder magazine blows up it
can, we suppose, be called fash ltera-
ture. e.-Ttsas Syzings. Is.
We tip the scales to learn our weight
and tip the waiter to avoid walt:
Binghamton Republican.
You never know how fond you are Of
boy until you become engaged to hn
sister.-Drake's Magazine. (
The man who tells all he hears, after
awhile doesn't hear very much that 10
worth telling.-Somerpuk Journal.
The man who has the largest library IN
town ought to know enough never TO
| boast about it.-Smsruilb Journal.
He-ssAre we going to have some
music2" She-"No. Miss Van Howl
is gong to sing."-Mu York Herald "
Ny heart was broken long ago, nl:,&
nicely saved the pieces;
gave chunk to every girls,
And so my joy increases.
All animals have their good points,
but for abundance of the same none, can
compete with the porcupine.-1eSas
isiftinqs. ..."
Advice is ike counterfeit money.
Most people are ready enough to part
with it, but none care to take it.-6os-
ton Transcript.
Character ia like the grand old cathe-
dral bell. Reputation is the brass TIM
tinnablum of the loud-mouthed auction.
eer.-Dazlas Weass. iii .:..'
"Are the Chickweed girls in societyT
"Un-yes, they're in society, but they're
not really fashionable. They are too red
and healthy. Chicago Tribune.
"Do you know what Biggars said
about you last night3" "No; but bes
$1OO I can lick him with one hand tied
behind me-" "-Zadianapolis Journal.
The perfume vending slot machine
Is the fairest one out yet, ..m
For every penny dropped within
Another scent you'll get.
Mr.. Hankiuson (desirous of making q
present)-ssJohnny, when is your sister
frene's birthdaya" Johnny-"Huh! sne
quit havin' birthdays long 'go."-Ch'eoso
Tribune.
"What became of the legacy that was
left to Scriyvens2 Couldn't he realize on
his moneyg' "No; he idealized on it.
He spent it publishing poetry. WASH
angton Star. .'.'
.I'm afraid Bilkley has lost his reputa-
ton at last" "He is not advertising
his loss. IS he9" "No. His acquaint-
ances are attending to that. ."-lndsa"-
apolis Journal.
II YOU wish to ascertain if dog is
thoroughbred or cur, kick him. Ii ne
proves to be a we'll bred, self respecting
dog. YOU will need new pair OF trousers.
Boston Journal.
.sMy client can clear himself, feel
sure, if your honor will only give him
time" pleaded the lawyer. And the
kindhearted Judge gave him twenty
vears.-SomeroIk Journal.
Brave Youth (swlmming to the rescue)
--"Courage, miss! Try and" Strug-
glinc Young Woman (from Boston, re-
bukingly)-"You should (gurgle) say
try tol" l"-Chicego Tribune. =
Gent-"I should like to have my
photo taken, but I want 1t to be nice
looking" Photographer fear,
sir; it shall be 50 handsome that you
won know it yourself. Der Scaalk.
| , There are no piu!ns on laSV year S tres,
No birds in lasc years nests;
But rve-aurrah found dollars three
In one OF last years vests.
--Harpe,'s Bazaar.
Bull6nch (argumentary) - "Now, l
T! like Mabel Gnterruptinyly)-
"What you like Mr.. Bull6nch, is neither
here nor there" Bull6uch (suggestively)
-"Pardon me, but it's here. ."-Boston
Courier.
A clergyman retiring from his charge
to accept the position as chaplain to a
large psnitentlary astonished the congre-
CATION by taking as the text of his fare
| ILL saroop CT on Tn nranare q place