The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1891-12-12
The Third Person

| 1t is not given to every one to he master
or mistress OF home, to be the chief or
| first person Of a household, and it does
| chance often that one is the third adult
under family roof from motives and
circumstances alike honorable to all. But
| 1t Is rather uncommon 10 find third who
| percelves the limitation of his position
| from any other one. 1t il easier in anv
| relation in life to understand what is due
to ones self than to mfa3ure our own
actions toward others. The beam of per-
sonll Importance continually narrows the
vision, and makes the focus of our inner
sight uneven and weak. And perhaps in
no domestic relation is II so difficult to
maintain a well-poised place as when one
is the third person.
Thethird person feels intuitively that
he has personal freedom, that he has right
to go or stay, according to agreement or
as his o wn will may lead him-that he is
virtually FREQ lance. He has right to
this place. Either he has chosen it him
self, or bindiy OF willingly let others put
him there. All this is true, but there ia
the same limitation to his freedom when
dwelling with others as for any other
human being. His rights are his. but
they ara not to be cat through or from the
rights of others.
A home brings special cares ana respon-
slbllities which no one Is more quick to
perceive than the carefree third person
But rare il the third person, man or
woman, who will admit with anything like
equal readiness that. having burdened
themselves with building a household, It's
united heads Lave a right TO certain priv
ileges which are inherent in this same
home-founding. Establishing a household
does not give its founders right to con-
duct 1t as seems best to them; a right to
do whatever in their eyes seems most CON-
duclve to family pleasures-to he hos.
pltabe as they choose, to adjust their
finances after their own method. to govern
their children and direct their servants, to
accept advice or not, to make mistakes, and
to learn from them.
This does not mean that the third person
has not part or lot in the family life. That
would be an injustice to him, for, having
accepted him as member, the family is
bound to give him all that a seat at the
be considered, respected, and t. be made q
sharer OF the family joys and pleasures
whenever the latter are in the line of his
tastes. But, on the other hand, he OF she
has no right to assume critically superior
attitude In the continually arising domes-
tie problems. He has privilege 70 be
helpful, to be comforting, and often to be
adviser and counselor, to the perpexed
first persons when they seek aid volun-
tarily.
10 keep steadily on this neutral ground
of ready yet restrained friendliness is
difficult, but in no ether way can the out
come of a three sided household be peace.
fnl. The husband doubtless may be in
conslderate, careless or exacting; but al
though the wife knows this, she sees
other qualities, and the third person will
never lind the key to the mysterious eur.
rent uniting them if he be critical and
severe. The wife may be wasteful, snowy,
or lazy. No matter. The husband chose
her. Criticism only ansers him, and un-
sought alvice of a lofty superior manner
authorizes any efforts on her side that gem
tie kindness might cause her to put forth,
And when she Is thoue htful, judicious
"a she Is yet human, and criticism il
gall.ns. Her life is like a huge
4towering high in the air, but
he earth with the steel chains
ned ropes of love and duty in
equal directions and she must
her central pivot and carry the
pr do the work that she knows
Y done, although the power that
seems trifing and the re: ults
gnes Bailey Ormsbee in Harper's