davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27
THE BABIES PROTEST.

paby Brighteyes;
-tWc are three babies earnestly protesting
A. ust the things which torture us and kill.
We 'ry to make our story interesting"
A swcetly We will"
Babv Goldenhair:
"When riding in our carriage clever,
P.ea.o keep the sun out Of our eyes so blue;
VI hurts us and may spoil our sight forever
Al lplcadlEgly)-"P Please, do"
Paby Sweetheart:
Tin case we're being brought up on "A bottle
(Agrlnst which fraud we kick with all our
might
Please watch it so ourselves we do not throt
tie"
Al. thoughtfully) do"
y n-"And keep it clean; don't let the milk
get Soured
BY being churned while riding in the sun.
u infant food is not with zest devoured-"
All decidedly -"Give none"
u. q In summer keep us cool and bathe us
often,
Or else wen be real angels in the sky
Ther when you see us in our coffin"
All sorrowfully cry"
ID s.--"we don't want cruel nurses to neglect
US
And slap US little nuisances-no good
Our nammas ought to care for and protect us"
Al lovingly They should"
B. B.-"we do not want old ladies or young
misses
with teeth decayed or foulsome stomach
breath,
ToSuotner our poor, helpless lips with Kisses"
AL Iangrily)-"Its DEATH"
y. c. 49, I'VE don't want folks to trot. rock,
dance or iounce us
TIL we throw up from being sea sick made;
We don't like men to toss us high and bounce
us
Az tshveringly)-"Were' 'fraid."
p. S.-"Strange women mustn't say whene'er
they greet US:
We're tco, too sweet to live and at US fly,
Like Robin Hoods big wolf and play they'll eat
us"
Al, fearfully) I've cry"
.. B.-'when women, making faces say to
charm US:
90 little pittie tootse wootsie co.
They seem so soft-or crazy, they alarm US"
Al, (affrightedly) y)-"Boo hoo!"
. Give don't want clothing tight enough to
bind us
SO we can't kick TO make our bodies strong;
And we don't like small sisters forced to mind
US
All lsympatheticallyJ- That's wrong"
j. s. - when we grow big well pay you
more than double
For all the care your duty tbs to show
AND we won't ever say you are a trouble"
Al. tenderly)-"Oh, nor
H. c. Dodge, in Goodalls Sun.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27

"Do you know that the average life
of crow is one hundred years?" said
an Albanian who poses as naturalist.
''It is SO. One was killed down in
Dougherty county few weeks ago
with '37' branded ON his back. He was
well feathered everywhere except Just
between the wings on his back, where
the figures '37' could be distinctly seen
branded in the flesh. can see but one
meaning to that, and that is that some
one caught him in 1887, branded the
figures on his back and released him.
But it is the first case Of branding a
bird 1 have ever known. Atlanta Coz
stitution.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27

The difference in meaning of English
wordS with others to which they bear IL
certain analogous likeness is very puz-
zling to foreigners, and at times, even
to those to the manner born. There is,
for example, just enough analogy be-
tween shaH and toW to lead many astray.
A Frenchman once fell off dock in
New York, and, seeing no help coming,
wished to say: | shall drown and no
one will help me. What he said was;
81 ,oW drown and no one shall help mel"
IAN right" said sailor who had just
kicked off his shoes and thrown off his
coat to dive to the rescue, drown and
be blowed, then, If you wants to."-St
L0I,is Republic.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27

manner in which you have developed
your theories as to conjugal discipline -
Mr.. Partanbridge choked convuls-
lively over his coffee.
"Hushl" he cried. "Hush! she is
coming!"
"Wbo is coming?"
'My wife!"
But, ahl how differently he pro-
nounced the low, magic words from
the way in which he had spoken them
twenty-four hours ago!
Mr.. and Mrs. Job Partanbridge left
the Mickleberry roof that very day for
hotel handler to the "woman's suf-
frage bureau" and that was the last
Mary and her husband ever heard of
my wife" or her humble slave, the de-
voted b.-Helen f. Graves, in n. Y.
Weekly.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27
PARTANBRIDGE'S WIFE.
Her Presence Had a Wonderful
Effect on Him.

II f S a very
nice woman, my
dear Mickleb ber-
ry, a very nice
w o IN II n, i n
d e e d. S said
Mr.. p a + tan
bridge, sagely;
but you allow
her to dictate
too much! For
i II S t ance, my
life S h o u l d
ever tell m e
NOT To smoke in
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27

Baby Brighteyes
7"Wc are three babies, earnestly protesting
A. .ust the things which torture us and kill.
We ry to make our story interesting"
swcetly) We willn
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27

Balv Godenhair:
"When riding in our carriage clever
P.cl'c keep the sun out Of our eyes so blue
VI hurts us and may spoil our sight forever--''
Al, lVlcadlEgly) y)-"Plelse, do"
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
Why They Are Cynical.

Speaking of newspaper men, Rev.
Talmage says: Zone of the greatest
trials Of the newspaper profession is
that its members are compelled to see
more of the shame of the world than
any other profession. Through every
newspaper Office day after day, all the
wickedness of the world; all the vani-
ties that want to be repaid; all the mis-
takes that want to be corrected; all the
dull speakers who want to be thought
eloquent; all the meanness that wants
to get its ware notice gratis in the edi-
torial columns, In order to save the tax
of the advertising columns; all the men
who want to get set right who were
never right. Through the editorial and
report0rial rooms all the follies and
shams Of the world are seen day after
day and the temptation is to believe
neither God, man nor woman. 1t is
no surprise to me that in this profess
sion there are some skeptical men;
wonder that journalists believe any
thing.n
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
NAPoLEoN's MYSTIC LETTER M.
he Considered 1t Especially Ominous for
Good or Evil.

tie Considered IL EspeclaiIy luminous Tor
Good or Evil.
1t has been said Of Napoleon /. that
he was "all star and destiny" His
actions at the battle of the Pyramids,
and later on, when he claimed to have
received visits from 1.-The little red
specter," leave little room for any one
to doubt his being superstitious as the
ghost-dancers of Pine Ridge and Rose
bud. One of his peculiar fads was his
regard for the letter M, which he
considered especially ominous for
good or evil. A compilation of the
facts in the M case shows good rea-
son for both him and Napoleon III.
considering it a red or black letter,
according to circumstances.
To begin with, Marbauf was the
first to recognize military genius in
the Little Corporal" Marengo was
the first battle won by Napoleon, and
Melas made room for him in Italy.
Mortier was his most trusted General.
Moreau betrayed him, and Murat was
first martyr to his cause. Marie
Louise shared his highest fortunes;
Moscow was the abyss of ruin into
which he fell. Metternich vanquished
him in the field of diplomacy. Six of
his Marshals, Massena Mortier, Mar
mont Macdonald, Murat and Mon
cey, besides twenty-six of his Gener-
ais of divisions, had an M as the ini-
tial letter OF their last names. Murat,
Duke of Bassano was his most trusted
counselor. His first battle was that
at Montenotte; his last Mont St. Jean,
by which name Waterloo is known in
French history. He won the battles
OF Mileslmo. Mondovi, MantmiraiL
and Montmaitre. Milan was the first
enemy's capital and Moscow the last.
He lost Egypt through Menon and
en- mployed Miellis to take Pope Plus
prisoner. Mallet conspired against
him, Murat was first to desert him,
then Marmont. Three of his minis
ters had M initials Maret Monta-
livet and Mallien his first chamber
lain was Montesquien. His last halt
ing place in France was Malmaison.
He surrendered to Captain Maitland.
His companions at St Helena were
Montholon and Marchand.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
When Grasshoppers We're Human.

According to an Arab legion, grass
hoppers were human beings in an age
long before the Muses.. When the
Muses. came and song appeared they
were ravished with delight and,
singing always, never thought of eat
ing or drinking, until at last in their
forgetfulness. they died. And now
they live again as grasshoppers. and
this is the return the Muses. make to
them for their devotion to music :
They hunger no more, neither thirst
any more, but are always singing from
the moment they are born. Never
eating or drinking except when they
20 to destroy the crops of some per-
son or persons who have offended the
gods of music, they soon die and
straightway go and inform the Muse
in Heaven who has honored them on
earth, that person getting his share
of the good things when he goes to
the world beyond.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
WHAT PARNELL MEANT.
Origin md Meaning of the Term Chit
tern Hundreds.

In the county of Bucks, in Eng
laud, is range Of hills known as the
Chiltern hills. Years ago these hills
were infested with robbers. To ex-
terminate these steward was ap-
pointed, called the Steward of the
Chiltern Hundreds, a hundred" in
old English law consisting either OF
100 hides of land or of 100 free
families.
There is a small salary attached to
the Office of steward, which, OF
course. is now a sinecure. 1t is in
the gift of the chancellor OF the ex-
chequer Now, member of Par
lament cannot resign his seat; but if
he accepts salaried Office under the
crown his seat is vacated. unless his
constituents re-elect him in spite OF
his having a salary. So when mem
Der of Parliament wishes to leave the
House OF Commons he asks for and
obtains the stewardship of the Chill
tern Hundreds, and so his seat be-
comes vacant Having got out of
Parliament he resigns the steward
ship. So Mr.. Parnell meant that he
would resign if Mr.. Gladstone deemed
it best If more than one M. P.
wished to resign and the second one
can't wait, he can ask for the steward
chip of the manors OF East Hendred.
Northshed or Hempholme, which are
just as good for his purpose.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
SLEEPING WITH A BABY.
a Man Who Has Lived ThbouTh It Tells
Hls story


Els story
The free -from-care and eAse-takinR
ID bachelor who. In his momentary
lapse OF wisdom. thinks OF matrimony.
should at the same time reflect on the
remote out contingent possibility OF
his having to sometime sleep with a
baby. should he marry. Years OF ex-
perIence OF martyrdom. says a writer
in the Ietroit Free Press, OF this kind.
makes me feel it 70 be my duty 10 set
forth the misery arising from a con-
tingency Of this kind.
The baby. il he happens TO be a
lpsty little fellow OF or 10 months
will decline to stay covered, and will
also decline to allow you to keep your
self covered. He indicates his wishes
in this direction by keeping his little
pink heels going all night a good
part OF the time on your back.
He will also insist on lying "cross-
wise" ''endwise," ''cat-a-corner.'
''bias" or, In any other position but
that which will give you few inches
of room In the bed and few minutes
sleep. His infinite needs will begin
to manifest themselves about l o'clock
in the morning. at which bewitching
hour you will go laundering around
in the dark for drink OF water.
He will howl steadily and cheerfully
from 2 to o'clock. and will kick you
furiously between the shoulder blades
with every howl 1t will not be OF
any use for you to pat him tenderlY
and sing out: "There-there" He
is right there, and knows it. and in
tends that you shall know it
1t is no use to say coaxingly:
What does papa's baby wantp
Papa's baby dosen't want anything
but to howl, and he is gratifying that
amiable desire TO the utmost. 1t is
no use to add to your judgment day
list of enormities by swearing. And
II your wife has been calmly, passive
through 1t all she will develop an
amazing degree OF spirit if you dare
to lay the weight Of your finger in
anger on that poor. dear, innocent,
darling sweetness. He will squirm
all night as though he were first
cousin to an angle-worm. He will
journey around all over the bed, both
uuder and on top of the coverings.
You are no sooner asleep than one
Of his moist little heels is planted
firmly in your nose or in your mouth,
and, later on, with childhood's scorn
Of decency and decorum, he will sit
astride your neck and grow green and
purple with rage when gently made
to sit elsewhere. Should he fall out
Of bed and yell loud enough to be
heard all over your ward your wife
will say that she firmly believes that
you pushed him out, and that you are
not fit to be father. anyhow. An
animated dialogue of a purely per-
sonal and private nature will follow
this remark.
But when the registering little chap
finally 'snuggles up' to you. and goes
to sleep with one OF his velvety little
cheeks close to your own, and one of
his warm, soft arms around your
neck, you find your heart growing soft
and tender toward him, and you
would single-handed wage war against
host or lay down your life for the
love Of him
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
BURR's AccoUNr-BooK.
q Curious Old voIums Found which Bs-
IonRea to Aaron Burr's sister.

= Curtous va fOlume Found nhtch be-
IonEsd to Aaron Durr's sister.
A curious old book. throwing an
Interesting light on the early history
Of Princeton. recently came into the
possession OF the college authorities
through the kindness OF Dr. Pepper
Provost OF the University OF Pennsyl-
Vania. DIR. Pepper was in Princeton
few weeks ago attending meeting
OF the Middle States College Associa-
ZION, and at that time handed over
the volvme to one OF the Princeton
professors. DIR. Pepper came across
the book in q queer way. having
found 1t among the effects Of a men,
Der OF his family. who century ago
was an Official Of Princeton College.
The book belonged at one time to
Mistress Esther Burr whose father,
Aaron Burr. was then President OF
Princeton. and whose brother was the
famous Aaron Burr. Mistress Burr's
mother was the daughter OF the emil
cent theologian Jonathan Edwards
who succeeded his son-in-law in the
Presidency OF Princeton. The book
which DR.. Pepper discovered is an
old tuition book. and contains inter
esting entries OF students accounts
and OF text books sold from 1853 to
1858.
The most curious feature of this
quaint book is its double character
Having apparently outlived its use
fulness as tuition account-book,
wherein she kept score with President
Burr of her allowance and the house
hold supplies, butter, eggs. corn, etc.
which she furnished to the college
family. When her mother died an in
ventorY of her personal effects and an
account of the disposal OF them were
entered in the volume. This part OF
the Dook shows that the wife OF the
Presbyterian theologian and college
president had trained eye for the
beauty of personal adornment. and
pages of the record are filed with a
list OF rich and variegated but now
unheard-of articles of wearing appar-
el. One item OF the bequest tells Of
the mothers beouest to her son Aaron.
to whom she bequeathed ''one silver
watch, one pair of silver shoe-buckles,
one pin, one knee-buckle one stock
Ing buckle, and Mr.. and Mrs. Burr's
pictures.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
Elephants Chew Gum.

A funny story OF elephants comes
from the Philadelphia Geological
Garden. A few days ago three ele-
plants were discovered chewing gum,
with all the apparent enjoyment of
school girl. They had supplied
themselves with the article in the
shape Of fifty feet of rubber garden
hose, which is at ached to a hydrant
In the building and used for cleaning
out the stalls. When not in use the
hose is stretched at length on the
floor, Immediately beneath the ele-
phant cages. In reaching for nuts
one of the beasts had accidently found
he hose and drawn it into the cage.
All had then taken share. and when
discovered had succeeded in running
the entire length Of hose.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
THE BANK OF FRANCE
NsmlnAiiy Private cohesrn. but In
q Reality ssmi-OmoiaL

NsmlnAlIy Private ooaesrn. but In
. Reality smi-omolAI.
Without entering into q lot OF tech
nical details that would be interesting
lonly TO financial men, It may be said
broadly that the Bank OF France. al.
though uominally a private banking
house is In reality a semi-oficial in
stitution. for the reason that its oper-
ations are made under State control,
because it has the monopoly OF issu-
ing bank bills The single fact that
the bank issues the French Rreenback
(Which is blue and rose) makes the
average citizen believe that the insti-
tuition belongs 10 the Government
and he has the same confidence in it
that he has In the Government itself.
Business men know that II Is pri-
vate banking company. but they are
certain that the state. which appoints
the Governor and Deputy-Governors.
would not allow IL to fail, and that
behind its nominal capital OF 1872
500, 900 francs furnished by the stock
holders there is the fortune OF
France.
The bank discounts commercial
paper on short time, not exceeding
three months, and advances money on
securities deposited. Its credit how
ever is not directly accessible to
small tradesmen. because it requires
discount paper to have three sigma
lures. Thus business men are often
obliged to have recourse to an inter-
mediate banker. who discounts their
notes and then, after adding his own
signature to the two already on the
paper, sends it to the bank, which re-
discounts it The bank loans ON
very limited number OF securities.
For example, 1t makes advances on
French railway bonds, but not ON
foreign railway stocks.
The management of the bank is in
trusted to fifteen regents and three
examiners, who, with the Governor
and two Deputy Governors form what
Is called the Administrative Council
This Board Of Directors as a New
Yorker would say, meets once a week,
6xes the rate of discount-which
rarely varies from 8 per cent-and
decides upon all questions concerning
the banks transactions. The Gov
ernor has veto power over all the
decisions. Unlike the Bank Of Eng
land, which is limited in its issue OF
bank notes to about 889, 500. 900
francs. the Bank OF France can issue
bills to the amount of $500. 600. 900.
The aggregate circulation at the pres
ent time is about $617, 900, 900. The
shares OF the bank, the par value of
which is 1000 francs, are now worth
1865. and pay nearly 4 per cent
Sividend.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
THE Mrp-spor OF the PLANET.
Z ties Of the Orient which Have Lo-s
Fnnrht for the Honor.

Z ties Of the Orient which Have LO-s
Fought for the Hoaor.
For several centuries different cities
In the Orient have contested with
each other for the honor OF being
recognized as the mid-spot OF our
planet Quite recently a London
geographer issued an elaborate work
in which he tries TO prove the British
metropolis TO be the center OF the
landed hemispheres. Jerusalem and
Delphi, Notwithstanding the fact that
neither OF them is situated on the
equator have for ages been the two
great rivals in this mid-spot discus
sion. William Simpson of the Lon
on Society for Exploring Palestine
tells us that Herr Schick has sent
home drawings OF the Jerusalem CEN
ter OF the world. 1t exists, OF course
in the Greek Church Of the Holy
Sepulcher, not in the Latin church.
The spot is identified less bv physical
science than by prophecy. 1t is writ
ten in the psalms: God is my king
OF old, working salvation in the midst
OF the earth" This can only refer to
the scenes Of the passion and OF the
holy sepulcher, and the midst Of the
earth must therefore, be found where
the holy sepulcher is considered to be
by the Greeks.
The belief that the center is there.
or thereabouts, is ancient for it
occurs in work by St kphrem,
quoted by John Gregory in reference
to Noah's prayer. Here st. Ephrem
says Adam was buried 'in the middle
of the earth" Homer calls Calypso's
island the navel OF the world, the CEN
ter OF all the seas In Hschylus a
certain round stone in the temple of
Delphi is the navel" or center OF the
earth, and here does Orestes take
refuge when pursued by the Eumen-
ides. Plnder has anticipated EschY-
lus here, and after an era Pausanius
Qike Herr Schick) had the pleasure
OF seeing the only genuine central
hub at Delphi lit is made" he says,
''of white stone, smooth and polished,
and is the middle point of the whole
world" Delos, as we'll as Delphi
claims to be one of the sacred places
perforated by the worlds axle, and
probably other cities in all ages have
looked upon their sacred places as
deserving of the same distinction.
There can be no closer analogy, how
ever. than that which exists between
The hall of stone in the Church of the
Holy Sepulcher at Jerusalem and the
round white stone at Delphi.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
The Jumping Bean.

One of the curious products of Mexi-
co is the jumping bean, a vegetable Gu
riosity, whose freaks of acrobatc agili-
ty have never been fully explained by
the scientists. They grow in pods, each
pod containing three beans. Each seq
ment is rounded on one side and
Ashaped on the other, greenish yellow
in color, and in circumference about
the size of large lead pencil. When
placed on table they roll over and
skip about, sometimes actually jump
ing a good two inches. When held be-
tween the thumb and forefinger they
are felt to beat as strongly as the throb-
bing ofa strong mans pulse. The Ag-
ricultural Department at Washington
has been acquainted with the rarity
since 1884.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptab!e TO the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 50c
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not haYe it Oh hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
, CALIFORNIA FIG syrup co.
SAN FRANCISCO. cil.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. reiv york. nv
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
Sitting Bulls Wives.

Sitting Bull had three wives, two
of whom survive him. The name of
one of them is The-One- That Had
Four-Robes. The other seems to
have distinguished herself by doing
more than a wife's share tow ard
keeping the name OF the Bull family
upon the Sioux census list aud is
known as The e-One-That-Had- Twins
Twice.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
Merit Wins.

We desire to say to our citizens, that
for years we have been selling DIR.
Kings New Discovery for Consump-
tion, Or. Kings New Life Pills, Buck
lens Arnica Salve and Electric Bitters,
and have never handled remedies that
sell as well, or have given such univer-
sal satisfaction. We do not hesitate to
guarantee them every time, and we
stand ready to refund the purchase
price, If satisfactory results do not fol-
low their use. These remedies have
won their popularity purely on their
merits. %. j. Hump hrey, Druggist.
Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-02-19
The Slot Machine In Society.

At an elegant private german given
in town near Boston the other night
the men went up to slot machine,
put in nickel, supplied by the
hostess, anda received forthwith
dainty roll Of chocolate with the
name OF his partner on the wrapper.
Now that slot machines have made
their debut into society we may ex-
pect to be- introduced in one way and
another to the various eccentric mem.
bers OF the family.