davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Jiggers.

She has q cunning habit,
That of calling people 'jiggers;'
She knows everything as ''jiggersY-
Mary Jones, cats, canes and toddy.
Everything and everybody;
Trousers, horses, dog and niggers
Are by her translated 'jiggers."
When she feels inclined to say,
In her artless, elflike way,
"Papa's socks will soon fit Willie,"
She could never be so silly
AS to rashly mention those
Useful garments known as hose;
But of'speech rings in some figures
And for socks" she uses 'jiggers."
How to stop it have figured,
But must give it up-I'm jiggered.
William Fl. Il. Shade in New York Clipper
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

Uncle-How are you getting on with
your collection of coins?
Nephew-A few weeks ago had an ex-
tremeiy rare and valuable specimen.
Uncle-Pray, what was that?
Nephew-A piece of gold-a sovereign, in
fact-but l had to change itl-Intermedi-
aire DIES Chercheurs
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
A LoveR's REVENGE.
His Affection Was Unrequited, bat He
Got There Just the Same.

CHAPTER I.
SIS II true, MarieYv he asked with
blanched face and trembling voice. HAS
| Henry Fitz-Dougherty. my bosom friend,
he whom trusted as my own brother--has
he supplanted me in your affectionss"
ut is true, Leonidas," said the young
lady, turning away coidly,
False and perfidious friend Tickle
and heartless girlp' howled Leonidas Grim
shaw, and he rushed forth from the house
and wandered through the deserted streets
till the dull, murky tinge of approaching
day began to smear itself on the dingy sky.
Then be went to his lonely, cherries room,
threw himself on his couch and tried tc
sleep.
But his feet were very, very cold.
CHAPTER II.
The ceremony tnaG united Henry Fitz-
Dougherty and Marie Penjarvis Kershock
In marriage was over. The guests had de-
parted. and the happy bride and exulting
groom were looking over the glittering ar
ray of presents that had been sent to them.
II have little surprise for you, Henry,
dear" said Marie, a smile of radiant beauty
bisecting her lovely face
"What is it, love?' inquired Henry.
"Leonidas Grimshaw has sent me cost
ly and elegant gift"
"That is kind of him."
"Indeed it Is. The poor fellow has got
over his broken heart. He cherishes only
the kindest feelings for us now. Seel'
She drew forth from it's hiding place a
lady's gold watch. 1t was a small delicate,
richly chased and ornamental affair, with
her name engraved on the back, and had
cost not less than $27 so in cash.
CHAPTER III.
With heavy, hstless, uncertain step
Henry Fitz-Dougherty entered his palatial
home on Prairie avenue and sought his
wife's boudoir.
Marie" he said, as he threw his hat on
the soft, velvety carpet sat down on cost
ly workbasket, and looked at her with
bloodshot eyes, ''the blow has fallen"
What is the matter, Henry?" exclaimed
Mrs. Fitz- Dougherty in alarm.
II tried to weather the storm, Marie, :"
he answered hopelessly, thinking that
turn in the tide must come, but in vain!
We must give up this home My colossal
fortune is gone. 1t could not stand the
drain. The last bill of repairs on this,
madam, wipes me completely out. We are
beggars!"
And he placed in her lap small, deli
cate, richly chased gold watch.
Leonidas Grimshaw was avenged.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
An Enviable Position.

Mamma" said Chippy Oldblock, look
ing up from the newspaper that he was
slowly spelling out, II should like to 10
Annie l.. Jorkins' little boy" w na'
makes you say that, dear~ asked MRS.
Oldblock She had tried hard to 90 nel
duty by him, and it grieved her to tnina
that his affections should go out to sono
one else. "Why, you see, this paper say
that the Annie L. Jorkins has just con,s
into port with her spanker gone. "-bos'o'
Post
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Conspiring to Defraud.

Judge Ito burglar)-Look here, my man,
if you don't mend your ways you are sure
to come TO grief What made you take to
such a miserable line of business?
Prisoner-The business is good enough,
only between your worship and the police
II has been ruiaed--La Semana Comica.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

NOW. then, ? said New York merchant
to one of bis travelling statesmen. who was
packing for his journey, 'slet us see tina!
yeii sell more goods on TINS trip than you
did before. Car firm is more generally
known now"
'In that case" said the drummer, look
ing obviously up from his sample cases,
II am a little afraid it will be uphill
work. "--Texas Siftings 2.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Saving Time and Money.

lie shortly after the introductio )-.Ex-
cuse me- miss, but do you think you could
ever love me if-well--if you should try?
She-Well, must say this is
He-Oh, don't be offended. It cost me
more than $500 to find out whether the
last one loved me or not, and Tve got to
economic, you Knoxville.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Helping Him Ont.

Uncle Ebony-Ps trying to raise enough
money ter git my wife a new dress for
Christmas, sab.
Featherstone-Is see, and you want me to
give you some chores to do, eh, uncles
Uncle Ebony-Well, nc, san; dat wasn't
de idee. / fought perhaps you could git
de ole lady job at washin, sah.-Cloak
Review
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
The Candid Bow.

why do we fire cannon and express JOY
over Washington's birthday more than
over miner" asked Texas school teacher.
Because Washington is dead and YOU
amt" was the reply of an irreverent boy
Texas Siftings.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

Waiter-How do you like your eggs?
Customer-Not hard; about three min.
utes' boiling will do, but be as quick as
you can.
WATERFALL right, sir; you shall have
them in half minute.-Ueber Land und
Meer
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

"They say Robinson has water on the
brain"
"Where did he get its'
"What-the waters"
"No-the brain. Life.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
A Bright Prospect,

Wife-I went to a new dry goods store
today.
Husband (sadly)-I suppose, as usual,
that you opened a new account there.
Wife-No. They didn't know me, so the
things are coming c. o. D.-Cloak Review.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
VARIOUS VERSES.
Two Hypoerites.

L.
Bhe sat I'm her cory chamber,
With the curtains all drawn tight,
Curled UP in great big rocker,
Fair and sweet In the soft lamp light.
A bonbon box on the table
With choicest of sweets was filed.
Which she daintily nibbled while writing
The words that her lover thrilled:
''Oh, long for you now, my darlingl
Without you my life seems drear,
There is never a bit Of comfort
E5S me unless you are nearl"
III.
And her lover read the letter
ks he sat In his bachelors den,
With his feet cooked up on Che mantel,
In the usual way Of men,
With box Of cigars at his elbow
And pipe and glass near by,
And the smoke clouds wreathed above h.fU
AS he echoed her lonely Try:
"Oh, long for you now, my darling.
Without you my life seems drear;
There is never bit of comfort
For me unless you are near"
-Somerville Journal
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
A Cheerful Old Salt.

Meath tropic suns and arctic skies
He gayly sailed whaler;
And when he wished for exercise
He gayly whaled sailor.
Indianapolis Journal
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

Lonely One-By this time Ethel is on the
broad Atlantic on her way home How
long to see my darling again If only
had her dear head resting on my shoulder
at the present moment I'd be the happiest
man alivei-Life.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
Queen Of the Boarding school.

She was the queen Of the boarding school
Had every girl for chum.
For she had surreptitiously
Procured box Of gum.
New York Herald
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

Henrietta twho had been sitting on the
sofa with Algernon)-You might shut the
window, Algernon. 1t would be better II
it were warmer here
Algernon-Yes, and closer, too-don't
you think so?--Harverd I&oon.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18
a KISS.


Tell What 1t Is.
Some time ago London Tit-Bits offere5
two guinea prize for the best deffnfffon
of kiss. Seven thousand answers uere
received. The prize was awarded to Benia.
min j. Greenwood, OF Tuise Hill. London
whose definition is herewith framed:
......s.----..----...-.. .....s.....
I: An insipid and tasteless morsei,
which becomes delicious end delect-4:
I: able in proportion as it is Favored
: with love.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. ..s..-...............
The following is a selection from some
Of the best definitions submitted.
What the chimney sweeper imprinted on
the rosy lips of the scullery maid when
she told him she favored his SCOT.
The sweetest fruit on the tree of love
The oftener plucked, the more abundant
it grows.
A thing of use to no one, but much
priced by two.
The baby's right, the lovers privilege
the parents benson and the hypocrite's
mask.
That which you cannot give without
taking, and cannot take without giving.
The acme of agony to a bashful man.
The only known ''smack" that will calm
a storm.
"a tclcSTtu tO Iuo utdTC, III which the
operator uses the sounding" system.
Nothing divided between two.
A rock in the sea of life, on which the
good ship Bachelor was wrecked
A kiss from a pretty girl is like having
hot treacle poured down your back by
angels.
The thunderclap of the lips, which in
evitably follows the lightning glance of
the eyes.
A report at headquarters.
The anatomical juxtaposition of two
orbicularis oris muscles in state of con
traction.
When lips of lovers meet in bliss
The pleasing act is termed a kiss"
But when the pair have wed each other
The vapid thing is called .'bother.,,
The sweetest labial of the worlds Ian.
guage.
The sounding line used by woman to
fathom the depths of mans weakness
An article that is always accepted. and
Imprinted, but not always published.
The only gift generous lover likes to
get back again.
The lovers privilege and the pug dogs
right.
Contraction of the mouth due to enlarge
ment of the heart
That in which two heads are better than
one.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

!: An insipid and tasteless morsel.
!: which becomes delicious and delect- I:
: able in proportion as it Is favored /:
: with love.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-18

Some time ago London Tt-Bits offered
q two guinea prize for the best definition
of kiss. Seven thousand answers war.
received. The prize was awarded to Benia-
min J. Greenwood, OF Tulse Hill, London.
whose definition is herewith framed:
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25

OF the unsettled territories of the great
west. He was active, untiring, ener-
getic, hopeful and resourceful by ma
ture, and he was always at his best
when contending with and overcoming
difficulties which other men would have
shrunk from facing. Kind, generous,
sympathetic, broad viewed. he has left
the mark of his rare, self-sacrifcing
qualities upon the spirit and progress OF
Arizona, upon her statutes and her
school system, which will yet be gener-
ously and deservedly recognized by that
territory in lasting and fitting memo
rails.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
Japanese Cigarettes in China.

During the month Of May last the ex-
port Of japanese cigarettes to Shanghai
aggregated 552, 500, from which it may
be inferred that the foreign residents Of
China are beginning to appreciate the
japanese article. But unfortunately, as
is usually the case with everything ex-
ported from this country, the necessity
of keeping up the quality Of the article
is not appreciated.
Adulteration with leaves of the lotus,
the goba and so forth, has been resorted
to, with the result of greatly injuring
the reputation which the cigarettes were
just beginning to earn. The Toxic news
agency addresses word of timely warm
ing to the shortsighted manufacturers.
Japanese Mail.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25

JUDGE WALLACE received the report
of the elisor grand jury with remarks
that must have cut the supreme court
to the quick. He traverses their opin-
ion with interpretations of the law that
leave no excuse for the action OF the
highest tribunal of the state in coming
to the rescue of the boodlers. He very
pertinently says that if the elisor grand
jury was to be declared illegally impan-
eled, it was not by writ OF prohibition
that the procedure should have been
taken. The jury was undoubtedly a de
facto jury and all the acts it performed
were legal. Only the acts done after
that decision, if any were formulated,
could come under the law OF illegal acts
But writ of prohibition wipes out all
the proceedings before and after, and
leaves the boodiers free. The supreme
court has reversed itself, and has drag
netted the whole field of iurisprudenc
in order to make decision that would
bear the semblance of sound definition
of law. But the fact remains, never
theless, that it is forced decision, and
shows where the sympathies of the ma
iority OF the bench stand.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
For Honest Mems Rights.

That is rather fine point of law which
holds that man with burglars tools on
his person, who goes up the steps OF a
a dwelling house where he has no law
full business, has made an attempt tc
commit burglary, but it is good law for
the protection of the community. The
steps of a dwelling are private property
and one who trespasses upon them with
unlawful purpose has committed an un.
lawful deed. Philadelphia Ledger.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
AN OLD RESIDENT GONE.
Death of H. S. Parcels Yesterday
Afternoon.

H. S. Parcels, an old and respected
citizen OF Los Angeles, died at his rooms
in the Wilson block about l o'clock
yesterday afternoon, after short ill
ness. Mr.. Parcels was taken with the
grip few days ago, and the attack de-
yeloped into serious illness, the cold
going to his lungs. His death was ex-
pected by his family and immediate
friends, who were auvii ed by the at
tending physicians that their patients
condition was extremely critical.
Mr.. Parcels has, been prominently
identified with politics for many years.
He was elected tax cole ctor on the
Democratic ticket, and thu ee years ago
was the choice of his party for county
clerk. He was an active Mason, a
member of Cnur de Lion commandery,
Knights Templar. The funeral has
been announced to take place Sunday,
under the auspices of the Masons.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
THE ILLUSTRATED HERALD.

For some days past canvassers have
been out soliciting advertisements for
the ILLUSTRATED HERALD ANNUAL. This
will be the twelfth issue of this invalua-
BILE publication, which has done 80 much
to develop Los Angeles and Southern
California. Our agents have met most
gratifying success, and they will remain
in the field until it is time to put the
work to press.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
IN SOCIETY.

A card party was given at the Whip
pie house by Miss Rose Whipple, last
evening. \ large number of guests
were present. The prizes were very
handsome, the BOBBY being especially
unique.
~
A most delightful dance was given
last night in East Los Angeles by Miss
Edith Speedy OF Workman street. The
party broke up at a late hour.
#*#
Miss Bovard of University entertained
a company of friends at her home last
night. An enjoyable time was had by
all present.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25

Mr.. JOHN WATSON, of Pomona, has
sent US four-page tract giving sketch
of the life and character OF the late A..
P. K. Stafford, ex-governor of Arizona,
who died in Tarpon, Florida, on the
18th of this month. Mr.. Wasson was a
very close friend of the ex-governor for
many years before the latter's death,
and the friendly tribute to his memory
is as graceful as it lie sincere. He does
not over-eulogize his character, nor in
dulge in fulsome praise of his really
great and manly qualities. Governor
Stafford was one of those men peculiar
to this country, and to the past and
passing generation, who felt within
themselves an instructive mission to
pioneer the way to higher civilization
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
How They Learned to Make Perfumes

What the French know about per-
fume making is not all the result of
their own experience. The tradition ary
history of the art is that the Hebrews
impaired the little they knew to their
captors, the Egyptians, who in turn
gave their formulas to the Greeks and
Romans. The Moors then took q hand
at improving these crude efforts, and
when they invaded Europe left their art
in Spain, whence it soon reached France
There it found its home and resting
place, and today no nation can compete
with France in the science and art of
perfume making. York Evening
Sun
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
Cut OFF His Ten Foot Beard.

Mr.. Phil Henson, the gentleman dis
tinguished for having produced the long
est beard in the world, found it SO in
convenient and uncomfortable that he
was induced to cut it off. A number of
his friends had planned to place him in
charge of the Mississippi department of
the Worlds exposition at Chicago, where
it was presumed his remarkable beard
would prove a striking feature in the
attractions, and much regret is felt that
he chose to relieve himself of that in
cumbrance. The beard was by actual
measurement about ten feet long
Corinth Herald.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
FRIDAY, DECEMBER a5. 1891.
"HERALD" PREMIUM MAP.

On or about the 1st of January pocket map
of ths city of Los Angeles and suburbs VIII be
issued This new map has been gotten up
with great care and expense for the
HERALD. 1t will prove valuable guide and
chart of reference TO both newcomers and
old residents. 1t indicates the lines OF all the
street railways in operation and in process OF
construction. 1t gives the names of all the
streets, corrected to date; table OF dis
tances to points in Los Angeles county and
vicinity, and many other valuable points
of reference and information, making better
and more complete map and guide of this city
than ever previously issued.
This valuable premium with the HERALD will
be delivered free to the address Of any new city
subscriber who will pay one months subscrip-
tion in advance
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25

THE patient and long-suffering sex Of
the male persuasion has at last found a
champion to make the good fight again:t
the wearing of high hats by the ladies
in theaters. This preur cheuaHer sans
peur and perhaps sans reproche, a Chica-
go travelling man, has commenced suit
for damages against the manager of the
Grand opera house in Minneapolis, CIV
ing as his cause of action the fact that
he was seated behind two ladies who
wore such high and outrageous hats
that his view of the stage was enti ely
obstructed. He asked the ladies to re-
move their sombreros. This they indig-
nantly refused to do. He then asked
the usher to give him another seat. But
this could not be done. He then went
to the manager and asked that his
money be refunded, which was
promptly refused. He will now see
whether there is any Flaw in Venice"
which compels him to sit behind, to
keep his eyes fixed upon two immense
Gainsborough hats, instead of the play,
at an opera house, and pay Tor the priv
ilege. Will he recover? That is the
question. Have the ladies the right to
wear at public places headgear that in
terferes with the rights of others? 1t
will be answered that hat is a
proper and necessary part of a lady's
wardrobe, and that if high hats are in
fashion she has the right to wear
them anywhere. In the time of Marie
Antoinette the ladies built their hair
into great, high steeples. Suppose that
were the fashion now, what could the
suffering sex do about it? We shall see
when this drummer's suit has brought
out the law OF the case. In the leading
theaters of London ladies are not ad
mitted to seats with hats, high or low.
We suggest the high hat at places OF
public assemblage as timely subject
for debate by the Friday Morning club.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
Tho Swamp Angel.

The Swamp Angel was an S-inch, 200
FOUNDER Parrott rifed gun, mounted by
the Federal troops in morass on Morris
island, Charleston harbor, in 1868. On
Aug. 90 and 23 the city of Charleston
five and half miles distant, was
shelled, the gun bursting at the thirty
sixth shot. After the war the Swamp
Angel was sold for old metal and con
veyed to Trenton, but having been
identified, it was set up on granite ped
estal at the corner of Perry and Clin-
ton streets in that city.-Detroit Free
Press
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25
A NATION OF MADMEN.

1t looks really as if the Chileans had
lost their senses and are bent upon
provoking war with this country. Their
actions are not explainable on sane
principles. They seem to have eaten
of the bitter root that produces the
crazy antics of Bengalese, who sudden
ly loses his reason. They bring to our
mind with great force the apothegm of
Sallust, when he said "Whom the
gods would destroy they first make
mad"
Let US, in charity, suppose that the
new government that has risen out OF
the wreck of,the Balmaceda despotis m is
unable to cope with the ferocious ele-
ments the revolution has con-
jured up, and that whilst its
members see the peril they are
drifting towards, yet they are power
less to evade or control it. Surely such
men as compose the iunta-men who
have shown themselves like the con-
spirators in the tragedy of Otway, "fit
to disturb the peace of all the world and
rule it when tits wildest"-are not par
alyzed by the truculent attitude OF the
mob at Valparaiso. They must know
that no self-respecting nation will per-
NIT itself to be insulted by its pariahs,
and refused apology and reparation Tor
the outrages and murders committed by
its turbulent classes. The streets OF Val
paraiso must be made as safe to American
sailors as the streets of Havre or Liver
pool. If not the Chileans must look for
a terrible retribuhon. II Uncle Sans
tars cannot go ashore at the principal
port of Chile without incurring insult
and attack from its people, then it will
be the duty of the premier republic OF
the world to give it terrible lesson.
Either our sailors shall be safe in Val
paraiso, or Valparaiso will be made un-
tenable for anybody. "Delenda est
Cathargo" is sentence of fearful i'm
port; but it will be pronounced at
Washington if our administration is
worthy of the nation.
Great Britain would not tolerate such
a condition of affairs in her case for an
hour; and there was a time when the
American government would have
brought Chile to her senses so quick
that it would have fallen upon the de-
voted heads of her people like an aveng-
ing thunde, bolt. When Commodore
Ingersoll. on the American corvette St.
Louis, sent word to the Austrian man
of-war that Kosta, an American citizen
who had been seized and made pris-
oner, must be delivered on his deck in
one hour or he would open fire, the man
came.
1t is idle to say we are not prepared to
enforce respect for our flag in Chile.
1t is the spirit of the American people
that is always prepared, and that is
more terrible to the enemy than battle
ments or turreted war vessels. Ii Mr..
Blaine fails to meet the exigencies Of
the hour he will send his name down to
posterity as a man OF great brains, but
OF greater weakness and incomprehensi-
BILE and spiritless timidity. No states
man can live in the hearts of his coun-
trymen and disgrace the flag by sub
mitting the nation to outrage and
insult.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-12-25

worldly beneiactions made by greedy
men who find at last that they cannot
take their wealth away with them"
When we say that we wish merry
Christmas to all, we mean that no one
can really say that he realizes the true
meaning of the salutation unless he has
done something himself to make it
merry to those over whom the shadows
of misfortune have lowered all the rest
of the wear