Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-04-03
Mr.. BoWser Has a Relapse.

streak" lasted eleven days. During
that time he took me TO the theatre
twice, paid millinery bill of Sl2 with
out word, raised the cooks wages
fifty cents per week, acknowledged
that | could buy groceries cheaper
than he could, insisted on allowing
he Sc pin money per week, and was
so different from his usual self in 9th
er ways that | was quite bewildered.
He went away from the house Satur-
day noon fairly beaming with good
ness, and as he reached the bottom
step he turned and said:
"Tra-la, chickey Well run down
town this evening and see about get
ting some new silverware."
When he returned was at the door
to meet him and to greet him, but he
waved me aside and growled
Come, now, don't be playing baby
at your age"
Are you sick, Mr.. Bowser?''
Mo-
Has anything happened p
mo. What's the matter that sup
per isn't ready? If that good-for-
nothing, lazy cook doesn't get up and
stir her stumps more lively I'll fire
her on a minutes notice Mrs. Bow
ser, you never have any first-cIass
help in the house,
why, Mr.. Bowser, you told me
only yesterday that Anna was the
smartest cook you ever saw in the
kitchenm
Never did, Never said word
which could be twisted around to
mean such thing
And you raised her wages =
II did it to smarten her up, but it
is no use. Discharge her tomorrow"
At the table Mr. Bowser found fault
with the biscuit, the tea, the cold
meat, and everything else, and finally
called out:
Mrs. Bowser, are you stone blind?'
'Of course not.
Then how came you to buy such
honey as this ? Any one but blind
woman could see that 1t is buckwheat
and not clover. Why, dog wouldn't
touch it -
But you ordered it yourself
What -
You ordered it OF Green through
the telephone Thursday. Don't you
remember you had to spell out the
word honey before he could under
stand p
Never. Never telephoned. Never
spelled out the word! Better take it
out and bury it,
After supper | began to get ready
to 20 down town, when he suddenly
looked up from his paper and asked
What's up now?''
why, you said we were to go down
town this evening"
You must be crazy! Don't you sup
pose ever want night to sit down
and rest myself? It's wonder there
is a man left alive on earth! It's moth
ing but CAD. CAD, CAD from morning
till night What do you want down
town p
You said we'd see about some sill
verware.
"Silverware Silverware Great
Scots But is the woman lunatic
We've got bushels of it now in the
house. We've got it in the closet,
down the cellar, upstairs and i'll the
garret. It'll be the insane asylum
next r
Mr. Bowser, didn't you call me
chickey when you went away at
noon =
"Chickey? Never.
But you certainly did.
Il certainly didn't Chickey! Well,
when l get n. soft as that want some
ice-wagon to run over me :.
About 8 o'clock that evening he re-
moved his shoes TO put on his slip
pers, but suddenly paused and in
quired
lis there a darning-needle in this
house, Mrs. Bowser =
why, certainly
And piece of sheep twine =
What on earth do you want with
sheep twine?'
Il want TO darn this hole in my
sock. Some mems wives can see such
things in half an hour, but this one
has been here three weeks. I've got
TO darn it. the same as have to sew
on my buttons | suppose I'll have
to make the bed and sweep the floor
in another week"
Those socks were all right when
you changed Sunday. I'll darn EN-
the first thing in the morning"
Not much, The limit has been
reached
He wouldn't even let me get darn
ing-needle for him, but he hunted one
out of the basket, and them instead
of taking yarn, he got a piece of twine
which had come around package,
and began TO sew back and forth
across the hole. He also made de-
ternlined attempt to look like a mar