St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-26
TOMANACE HUSBANDS
An Old Story Revived in
Rather Entertaining
Manner.
Wives Who Manage Them
selves Thus Win Half
the Battle.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox Makes
a List Of Rules to Fol-
low.
Mrs. Burnett'S Idea or the
Study of a Woman's
Character.

Marriage a FaiIure?" says the Philadel-
phia Press. Though discussion of the
subject has run riot throughout the in
term; though the three great powers
of earth-the pulpit, the press and the
petticoat-have wrestled vigorously
with it; though Tolstoi has written to
prove the affirmative, and Talmage has
preached to establish the negative;
though the magazines have teemed
with articles on both sides, and though
it has everywhere been treated as the
all-absorbing topic of the hour, the
question is no nearer settlement than
when the discussion first began. Mean
while the people of all nationalities
and elimes have kept right on marrying
and giving in marriage, and Will con-
tinue to do so till the end of time, de-
spite the diatribeS of philosophers, the
TRADES Of old bachelors and the
"Kreutzer Sonatas" of novelstS-while
the young people who eagerly rush into
the matrimonial relation, though the
ones who should most seriously ask
themselves the question, never give 1t
thought.
But whether marriage is or is not a
failure in the abstract, the interesting
fact remains that it often proves so In
the concrete, and it is equally true that
many of these failures might have been
entirely aYerted or transformed into
what a Young reporter of my acquaint-
ance, sent to write up his flrst swell
wedding, called 'an unmltlgated sue
cess by little Judgment, tact, heed
fulness and few other commendable
qualities that are all embraced by the
good old term, common sense" on the
Oart of the wife in the management OF
her husband.
"How to manage husbands?" is
question of much greater practical i'm
portance to wiyes-and indeed to all
women, for what member Of the female
sex ever gives up all hope of being
wife some day?-than the one proposed
by Mrs. Card, and, in the following dis.
cusSions of it by gifted matrons of
thought and experience, who are accuS-
toned to express their views clearly and
incisively. they will find many valuable
suggestions that cannot fail to give
highly desirable results If put In prac-
tice.
What Ella Wheeler Wilcox Thinks.
in managing a husband" said Ella
Wheeler Wilcox, when asked for her
views on the subject, "a woman should
ALWAYS bear in mind that, she being
less able to live in state of single bless
edness than he, marriage cOnfers upon
her the greater benefit. This being the
case. it follows as a logical sequence
that it is the duty of the wife to make
more sacrifices than the husband. In
any sacrifice that she makes she should
always seem willing ana cheerful. If
she observes that rule she will soon find
that but few sacrifices will be asked of
her, and that those she makes are fully
valued and amply rewarded.
The wife who earnestly desires to
extract from married life for both her
self and her husband all the happiness
which it is capable of yielding, should
urgently, diligently seek to understand
her husband-tO be thoroughly familiar
with the cast of his mind, the bent of
feelings. She should apply herself to
the study of these things with as much
earnestness and assduity as she ever
devoted to the mastery of a difficult
musical composition. an intricate prob
lem in mathematics, or a perpleXing
piece of fancy needleWork. Having
learned her husbands needs. she should
strive to adapt herself to them as per-
fectly as water conforms to the shape of
any vessel into which it is poured.
Young wives are often apt to be ex-
acting. They think their husbands
should always be IN the same state of
fervent lOvemaking that they found so
dallghtful during cOurtship and honey
moon. They forget that love, like the
day, has its dawn, its morning, its high
noon. It's afternoon, and its evening. 1t
is unreasonable for wife to expect her
love n no of OH
throughout the whole twenty -four hours.
The cool evening and the chilly night
must inevitably be brought by the adj
verse winds of business worries, and the
thousand cares and annOyanceS of ev-
ery-day life. Be patient during such
times, when the glorious sun of your
husbands love is yelled from you, and
never for moment lose faith that the
clouds will soon lift, and bright dawn
and genial noon shine forth again. And
when you see signs of their approach
do not act coldly or show resentment of
the cloudy hours during which other
matters than yourself have engrosSed
your husbands mind.
The Very Best Way.
''The very best way for woman tC
manage her husband is TO Immediately
set about the study of her husbands
needs, MOODS and fOibles with an
earnest aim to strengthen and help him
in every emergency with all the love,
patience and charity of which her nat
ure is or can be made capable. There
are scores of miserably unhappy homes
in which both husband and wife unite
in declaring marriage a failure, but
which would be heavens of peace and
rest and Joy if the wife would only try
to become better acquainted with heI
husband in the way l have pointed out
The wife who desires to so manage hel
husband as to be always happy, cheer
full and cOntented herself. and to keer
him always In the same frame of mind
should always respond to the slightest
look, word. or act of love on the part Ot
her husband. She should never fail t.
warmly manifest the most generous APP
probation of everything, no matter how
Slight. that he may do for her pleasure
or comfort. Praise him freely. Praise
for attention.. e., the most delicate re
proof for neglect.
"A husband should not be deprived Of
any honorable pleasure he enjoyed be
fore marriage. The wife who desires
to manage him to her own advantage
will cheerfully spend some lonely hours
in order that he may enjoy such diver
sions. If when he returns from then
he receives more genial. atfectlonatt
welcome than he ever finds elsewhere
he will realize that after all there i!
more real enjoyment at home than il
any other place.
'''rhe wife who is a good HUSBAND
manager will always manifest consider
alton of her husbands purse and guar(
against careless and unnecessary ex
penditure. She will treat him at al
times. whether at home or abroad, will
the most delicate, tender respect. Shit
will never intrude upon her husband
when he is looking over his accounts
counting his money, or talking business
with friend. 1t may amuse a lover t.
have the object of his affection snatch
book or newspaper out of his hanC
and insist that he shall talk to her, bu
it will only irritate husband.
"a judicious course of such manage
ment as | have pointed ont Will tIrI