Tombstone daily prospector., 1891-02-27
DEACON eURoETIe.
ais Witty Talks Dat Q Meetia' Upos
 Timely Topi.x


 Timely fopi-~
 sPapa,r said Ethel, "I do not think you ars fast to Mir. Sophomore; I was walking with him last night. His head is full of ideas.- sYes, yes" said the professor, and went or reading the proof of his lecture on Micro ssopic Thought awe cannot real:se the in- finite littleness of the cholera bacteria, wtep We know that 50. .o00. 900 0oO of them occupy . space no larger than pins head.' Yes. yes; ss you say, he has a great many Ideas, but they are"-goes on reading proof.
 WEIR FAsHED TIE VOLUNTEER AT A
 T am weary of this humirum life" 1" said Ialliopus Why, what are you doingi' Tuning hurdy gurdies." Shake; I ar writing speeches on tariff reduction"
 BUT yARx YE WELL, AULD THISTLE BEsi Young Mir. Sawbones, first wear in medical college; sees an editorial headed ~The Dan ger of Apathy"-"The incomprehensible k norance of these editors!r he exclaims grand Y; they write about things of which they know absolutely nothing. Now, you take apathy iii time and there isn't dangerous feature in it: the veriest quack can handle k- Puts or his hat and goes out to look af- Ger s case of incipient inertia
 Yn AIsLISs xIGHT-I DINA KEN.
 Lawyer Bul6ozer-Do you know anything about George Thorpef Stupid Witness-Yes, cr. Lawyer B-Ah, ycu dol Do you know any good about himi Witness-No, sir "Oh, you don'ti We'll, then, do you know any thing bad about himr witness-No, air Then, for mercy's sake, what do you know about himi' @l know he died twenty years before l ever heard of him"
 SIT .L HAE A srAKR
 A Boston b. oker lost a wallet containing ti5, 900 on the streee aud a newsboy found 1t and brought 1t to ths owner. The man struggled with a terrible temptation to bs mean and sordii for moment, and then forgetting self and casting to the winds his greed of gain as he trainpled the temptation under his feet, gave the honest boy permis- sion to go on the Common and play every day. We can trust you," sobbed the grate- ful man; we know that you will keep off the grass.' Oh. how often this opportunity tc make others happy by kind word, a gentle emile or some little act of kindness knocks a' our doors and We heed it not, until 1t Is toc late. Oh, that more people were like the Boston man. (P. S.-1hey are.)
 WHEN HAME YE MAKEr
 Where, oh, where has the young man gone who graduation clothes put on, some time dong the last of May, and owned the whole wide world for dayi And where Is the sweet girl graduate, who ckanted an essay drend with fate and started out with a gig glins frown to turn this oli world upside doyni and where Is last years candidate, who had things fixed for this years slatei Who carried around, you'd believe couple of counties in his sleeve. And where Is the scribe with vaulting will who tried a long felt want to fill, and courted shekels and vii in, towni The lad has divided the world up fair. and holds but his own eight billionth share; the sweet girl grad. is a grand surprise, and couquers the world with well made pies: the can idate with the deathless -gall" is fixing himself for another fall; while the journalist with the naughty crest has gone the way O, last year's nest. So year by year and day Is tay the world runs on in the same old way; the balloon that Is biggest rognd about ts the aaOs'.est ras when the gas Is out
 IT MAKs AN Uyco' LEEwAY
 There is one thing Ignatius O'Donnelly might have done very easily. If be had thought ot it--he might do 1t vrt-prove that Harriet Beecber Stowe didn't write the -Uncl. Toms Cabin that is presented on the stage ten times week all through snj between the saSon. He coul3 find plenty O ciphers. iL 1e cast; the two Topseys. the sao Msrks-s, the two dOnkeys, and the latest company an nounces two Uncle Tons-these, with the fcur meat hounds, wouId give an ingenious man ciphers enough to prove any thing.
 AN SWAT WI DREAD
 .Is there any benetlt in nollopOliesF- asked the teacher. -Tbere is, answered the smart bad boy. And what is it!" -Ow..i ing an in terest in one" He was kept in two hours
 REAL AND IMITATION BABIES.
 A Boston woman comes out in print to de souuce "that linSual dish wash popula=iy known as baby talk" On, well, that's to be expscted in Beanville, where Joseph Cook Is rerar,ied as a model chili's nurse ard primary kindergarten teacher. We believe. firmly believe, that baby whol whicht thatt is born with eye glasses and theory should be called a babe at birth ant. sd. arcssed as sir madam.
 Out upon your machine made babe, knew one long ago. His name was H H.ndersop lngruham Stiilweatber, and his parents called him that when he was in h.s cradle He was but years old when first met him. down by the Illinois river. He said to me: ~Kx-us me, sir, but could you kindly euiig hten me s. to the character of this strange looking craft toward which our steps are tending and, also. can you tell me to vEon does it beiongf' ! clutched the little monster by the reck and . ...viI n...- under the dredse boat for an hour. expected ., scene with his mother, but sis only said ,bat Henderson was very faJ cd yanced; has Uncle Dennison did not drow1 until be was @" They didn't bury Tender pon. They pressed him between the pages ni . Colto ,'s Atlas, and he fattened cst and dried just like a fern That's what becomes of that sort of children I am glad drowned him. an looking around for mere like him People who wean their infants on dictionaries will do well to k-ep them under glass until I lose ny tomahawk Wagh,- Brooklyn Eagle.
 Pictorial Shakespeare.