The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-10-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A paying business-Settling your
debts.
All is fair in war; but it is often only
half-fare in railway war.
When a spider crawls iEto his hole he
means business. Picdyune.
One never realizes the cost of exper-
ience fully until he goes to law.
How to get musical ear--Tako lots
of quinine. .-NeaO Yors Journal.
Must have that "tired feeling'--The
cartwheel. philadelphia Record.
Ups and downs of poverty--The rag
ged edges of your collar and your trous-
ers.
There are tricks in all trades, partic-
ularly horse trades. .-BjHgiamtoa Rspub-
hedn.
Kammerer-"How do you feel when
q man strikes youl' Hammerer@"I
feel for him. ."-Puck.
When n man begins to blow you may
know he is trying to take things by
storm. GGlDeston Ne,cs.
"Oh, mamma" exclaimed little John
ME, "the trees in our yard are getting
bald-headed -BiaghGmtoA Republican.
The oratory of some men may not
move mountains, yet it often succeeds in
making big bluff WeStfeM Standard.
1.-THE shoemaker who breathed his
last" should not be pointed to as n man
of phenomenal lung power Washing
ton Star.
Mrs. Steptin calling upon Mrs. Solder,
the plumbers wife)-'And how is MIR.
Solder2" Mrs. Solder-"Oh, Ae's mend
ing slowly
She-"T suppose in Bohemia every
one is Tom, Dick and Harryl' He
"Wen, yes; but Bills are rather more
numerous. "-Byooiiym LIE.
We may boast about our refined civili-
zation; but when man doesn't tNn to
look at a dog fight, it is safe to bet that
he is either blind or deaf,-PYct.
However much we feel Of woe
From saying things we dread,
We find it harder still to know
The things to leave uusad.
Judge.
"What was the collect this mornings"
asked papa, desiring to see if his son re-
membered anything of the church SER
vice. "Foreign missions" returned
Tommy. YORK. Herald.
"Good nature or amusement, among
the people of the earth, y writes an in
habitant of Mars, sis expressed by
movement of the mouth which EXPOSES u
portion of the skull. "-Pact.
Traveer--''What is that tall chin
ney for2 Someone putting up fac
tory2" Citizen--"Naw. That's jim
Bisbees well. Cyclone turned it inside
out. ."-Ladiaaapolis Journal.
A strcet-car driver in Toledo recently
ran over a young lady aud she was
thrown to the gIouLd. lie was prompt
ly fired by the company for knocking
down the fare, --DefWcs Crescent.
"Nhere are you going, mypretty mail lT
Pm going to Sunday school, SIR she stid.
Can go with you, my pretty maiiy
"We'ye nad our picnic, kind sir, she said,
--Ne,0 York Herald.
"Remember, my son, that the owls
reputation for wisdom is not due to his
staying out all night. it is rather due to
the fact that he has too much sense to
stay up all night and day too. '-iadidR-
apotis Journal.
Watts-'I dou't approve OF Ills idea
of burying every eminent citizen with
brass band" Potts -'It would not bo
so bad, though, il they'd bury a brass
band with every eminent citizen. -
Indianapolis Journal.
Mandy What are you rcading.' Pim-
"A Man Without a Country I's
such a painful story" Maud Cooking
drearily up and down the beach, hy--"It
isn't half as painful as country without
a man. ~ Chicago Tribune.
"Why is this boat backing up!' asked
the passenger on the steamer. "Ok,"
said the mate, "the captains wife and
baby are on board, and the baby
90 to sleep until he'd seen the
engines reversed, "-Ne,O York Sun.
Madam is at the diapers, IN the act OF
material for new dress. "No,
that is not the kind of thing | want: it
5 too bright-too loud. My husband is
very i'll aud l should like something
little quieter-say half mourning. -
Le Petu ItluStre.
wayback-''Hello, Jaysmithl What
lid that straw hat cost you'' Jaysmith
81 gave the clerk a lye-dollar note for
hat hat" Swaybacl ducreluous)
'Whati' Jaysmith -"Aud he gave me
pack four dollars in change. ."-PHisjug
2AroHic'e- Telegraph
Husband (newly married
'ou think, love, it 1 were to smoke it
would spoil the curtains" Mile--"Ah,
ou are really the most uuselish aud
houghtful husband 20 be found any
ihere. Certainly it would" Husband
-"Well, then, take the curtains down"
- Hdl,