The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-05-06
NJ OF THE DAY.

A closing remark-"You shut upF"
When doctors disagree the coroner
takes tho matter up.-EpOch.
The pot must have been boiling when
It called the kettle black.-Puck.
1t is strange, but the dregs of a pot Of
tired paint" are always blue.-NeO York
Herald.
It's not always the little things that
tell. Sometimes it's her big BROTHER
So. Joseph NeOs.
Painters are not of a military turn
generally, yet they stand by their colors.
-Terds Sytings.
The way-station master always has an
~unfngging interest in through Trains
Washington Star.
Hotel Porter-'tAre you a guest of the
housed" Mr.. Gruf-"No; I'm paying
for what 1 getW-Puek.
"Your wife seems vexed." "Yes.
She went out to match some ribbon and
found it at the first store. life.
When a dressmaker doesn't give her
customers fits, the customers give the
dressmaker fts.-LOuiSoiHe Journal.
The difficulty in this cold world is
that too many fellows want to stand with
their backs to the re.-BrGdford Record.
''Men need moral courage moro than
they do higher foreheads." This is true.
Cows have high foreheads.- Chicago
NepS.
Johnny is a smart boy. When he was
asked to define moustache he instantly
replied, ats a bang on the mouth
Epoch.
The faults of our neighbors would be
less conspicuous if our own virtues
were not quite SO glaring.-Ailaoaukee
Sentinel.
Don't laugh at your wife when she
tries to stone the hens. She may ask
you to help her stone the raisins.-EL
mira Gazette.
There is a good deal of speculation
about astronomical studies, but the
astronomer seldom gets rich out of it,
BinghdmtoH Republican.
Auntie-"Johnny, you never hear
your papa use such language" 'NO;
and | take mighty good care that he
doesn't hear ne" -Harper's Bazar.
His name we never see, although
In print he has a mighty mission;
For he's the dark, mysterious,
"Wel[informed politician"
Judge.
Fecblewitte deems it an exemplifica-
ton OF the fitness of things that love
which is without bounds should make of
life a never-ending spring.-DetrOh Free
Press.
81 see that quite a number OF our
younger verse writers have taken to
writing their songs in antique English. "
"That is quite an appropriate setting to
their ideas"
Caller-"Aud this is the new baby9"
Fond Mother-'Isn't he splendid?'
Caller-''Yes, indeed" Fond Mother
"And so bright. See how intelligently
he Lreathes. - Chicago Neos.
How hard it is, in these unhappy days,
To keep beyond the line of Falsehood's
spell,
Since cen a proverb, old and hauowed says,
That Truth lies-at the bottom OF a well.
Life.
Editors Wife-"Sanetorum, you look
disguised; anything gone wrong9" Edi-
tor-"Yes; missed the mail, and my
typewriter is sick" Editors Wife
"Too bad to miss male and female the
ame dayW-Argosy.
Priest-"Well, Dennis, you're mar
ried, | hear. I'm very glad of it. How
do you and your wife get along TO
getherl" Dennis-'Well, yer reverence
Oi t'ink We get along besht together
whin we're apart. "-B0stoR Courier.
IT'S folly 10 spend life boarding up gold
With intention from 20 lock it
For, as wise men remarked in the past, VI
are told,
No shroud was e'er made with a pocket.
-Mthpaukes Scatiaet. :
"Look, Adolph. Your tailor's sitting
over there" ''Don't attract his atten
ton "Ain't you getting on well 10
gether?" ''Yes, but don't want TO EN-
barrass him. He owes me receipted bill
for two suits Of clothes. ~ iegsad
Biaetter.