San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-10-12
MUNICIPAL CHATTER.

| OF al Esquemau& lateIy'
Brine-How is that?
Claud-Because neither of you lives
, in the temperate zone.
Brine-Your geography is like what
my plug hat ought to be, of; an don e
you drop this fact until it gets too hot
| Ior you.
Claud-You and that plug hat made
me absolutely, disastrously and sup.
erlatively tired yesterday in that pro:
cession. You was not invited and
only leg puller would ride with you.
| You and your accomplice pulled hard
and even the horses seemed ashamed
of their load. Besides, you looked as
| if you was going to your own funeral,
| and believe you was. The Germans
are onto you, and you must have
something better than u stove pipe to
| recommend you to them.
Brine-I did feel out of place, but
you fellows said should sneak into
the procession someway, So took the
| first seat in sight.
Claud-You should have squeezed
in just behind the niger singers and
| carried up the rear.
Brine-I felt that / was carrying
enough the way L was, without carry
ing up the rear or the front either. L
know my capacity and business too, so
take your hand off the bottle.
Claud-Yes sir, which reminds me
that
From hand to hand and mouth to
mouth
The sable bottle goes,
And throws q damper on the
drOuth
That fingers meath the nose.
Brine-That's classic; where did
you find it9
Claud-I sat up with q corksCrew
last night and found it in my head
this morning.
Brine-I found something, too,
this morning. l felt something
strange in my pocket and after hold
ing it to the iight-what do you think
found?
Claud-Dunno.
Brine-As sure as this glass is three
drops less than full twas an alder
m an-at-small. And after reaching
down still farther found three more
trying to tunnel through my pants.
The cusses were actually trying to
escape, and had even removed one of
the patches that 1 had put on while
sitting down on the opposition.
Claud-What did you do to them?
Brine-I just threw postage stamp
over 'em and made 'em think circus
tent had hit 'em. That's what 1
done. (Here's how
Claud-If you didn't talk so much
there would be less bad English in
| the world. Your grammar is enough
to make the steam roller crawl off
and plant shingle-nails to raise crop
rust. In the language OF that emil
nent parsonage, myself, you are
rusty. Study an almanac, or a rail-
road time table and maybe after
awhile you can tell where the last
page commences. Besides
Brine-Tut, tut! there goes some of
the grand jury and they look madden
| than the county gang. They haven't
| dug the books out of Cohen's whiskers
Yet. have they?
Claud-No; it would take long
handle shovel to do that, they're so
deep. But say, amt there 10 way of
making up with the old crowd again
the old guard. so to speak?
Rrine-The making Ipis this-they
ave my permission TO go to HI any
! tune between now and Gabrlel's wax
ing up time. The tall fellows been
running TOO much with the people and
naturally finds out Pm no good The
| fellow with the long red whiskers
and his red faced chum without any
whiskers condemn me also. Even
that slick relative OF mine
sees no more good in me
than a rabbit - they want
to run his brother for alderman at
big, but I'll be shaken a year before
taken before they make me swallow
him. I'd rather gulp old Mack
man myself, and you bet he's jim
dandy.
Claud-But they say your man has
job already.
Brine-What is it?
Claud-He's called the kings ies
ter. You know that a good clown ID
liable TO make a bad statesman. You
ne3d some one to amuse you outside
of the council; you are certainly vel
amused inside of it; SO have you'll
Jester on the outside. Besides he
might make the other aldermen laugh
themselves to death. The undertaken
will come soon enough to them.
Brine Politically, you mean.
Claud-Yes; agitate the flags. Now
l breathe better
Brine-SO do 1. There goes the
crowd now, an they're laughing a
me too. must be an unidentified as,
sure enough.
Claudio them you are; to thu
people ditto: to me the same.
Brine-Well, you an them an tn,
people too can go to -
Gland Hal-ntaS