The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-09-30
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Sunday School Teacher-Tommy,
You must pay closer attention. Who
killed Abel? Tommy (surprised) y
Why, / didn't know he was dead.
"When / look at the congregation"
said a London preacher, Il ask, where
are the poorP When / count up the
collections for missions ] ask, Where
are the rich?
In More Delicate Form: Mother
(petting the baby Why, Bette, do
believe you are jealous. Bette (six
years old No, mamma. ] amt jeal-
eus, but / don't feel comf'ble.
An Expensive Present: Young wife
Yes, father always gives expensive
things when he makes presents. Hus-
band Cooking over her dry-goOds billy
SO / discovered when he gave you
away.
Mabel (aged ten)-Sister is awful
sorry, Mrs Borer, but she can't see
you this afternoon. Mrs. Borer-Not
Ill, / hope, Mabel? Mabel-No indeed;
she's getting engaged.-HarPer's
Young People.
Give EN- Little Time: AT a G. A.
r. reunion in Dover, Oklahoma, the
other day, the white and colored COM
rades got into fight. As yet none Of
the wounded have applied for pensions.
Buffalo Express.
AConnecticutlady and her two daugh-
tiers recently opened FIRE with three re-
yolvers upon two burglars. NotwIth-
standing the fusilade was kept up for
several minutes, none Of the ladies was
hurt.-Chicag0 Neles.
The Shadow Of Coming Woe: Teach
er (sternly)-Tommy, if you are not
better shall punish you. See how
quiet Willie Waffles is. Tommy (grin-
ningl-Yessum; but he's goin' to git
spanked when he goes home fer slappin'
his little sister.
Cruel and Unusual Punishment: Wis
itor lin penitentiaryl-My friend, may
/ ask what book that is you are read
ing? Low-spinted Convict-Certainly,
sir, it is a volume Of Talmage's sermons.
Visitor Gndignantly)-Heavens what
a fendish punishment!
Remarkable Religious Sensibility /:
Visitor They seem to treat you we'll
here, my friend. Convict Gin for horse
stealing Yes, but there's one thing ]
don't like. Every Sunday in the chap
ell they puts me next to one of them
shoutin' Meth'dists, and that amt
pleasant for a man wot was raised a
'Piscopilian.
One Feature Omitted: Millionaire
Patron with wart on his nose)-The
portrait is excellent, Mr.. Tubes, but
you've left out an essential feature.
Mr.. Tubes-Excuse me, sir; / thought
you wouldn't care to have the wart re-
produced. Millionaire Patron furious
ly)-Wart! D you, sir, I'm talk
ing about the diamond pin.
Morbidly Honest: GrOcer-Where
did you get that Goldfish, Uncle Billy ?
Uncle Bought it at de cornder
sto', sub. Grocer-So you spend your
cash there, though you've owed me for
a ham since last winter. Uncle Billy
We'll, boss, / lowed 'twouldn't be hon
es' for me to buy anything mo f'm you
tell / done paid you what | owes-'deed
'twouldn't.
The impulse TO confession almost al
ways requires the presence Of a fresh
ear and fresh heart; and in our mo-
ments of spiritual need, the man to
whom we have no tie but our common
nature, seems nearer to us than moth
er. brother, or friend. Our daily famil-
lar life is but hiding Of ourselves from
each other behind screen of trivial
words and deeds, and those who sit
with us at the same hearth are often
the farthest off from the deep human
soul within us, full of unspOken evil
and Enacted good. George Eliot.
A Good Target: A young minister,
preaching bis first sermon in the village
of Wildway, said some hard things a.
bout horse-racing. AT dinner he was
told that the sermon touched one OF the
leading members in sore spot. Meet
ing this man next day the preacher
said: Don't take my sermon yester-
day as personal. Nothing was farther
from my intention" "0h, no matter"
replied the man cordially, "it's a poor
sermon that doesn't hit me somewhere.
A noted singer was thus criticized by
a Dakota newspaper: Her voice was
a cross between the hum Of a cyclone
and the screech Of a locomotive under
full steam. Anon it rose in hollow
tones not unlike the breeze dallying
over the mouth Of an empty jug. Stop
pinQ TO take wind, she rose slowly tc
her tiptoes and with gyrating arms and
heaYing chest gave a fair imitation Of
the roar that foretells ablizzard. This
lis the first time our town was ever
visited by a genuine female calliope
and we hope she'll come again.
If love lives through all life; anc
survives through all sorrow; and re
mains steadfast with US through al
changes; and in all darkness Of spir
burns brightly and, if we die, deplore'
us forever, and loves still equally anC