Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-06-07

that Il was no wonder that an ANONYMOUS
writer in New York sent letter to Secre
tary Richardson inquiring, "why the deuce
don't you fix mp this financial business?
nevermet aman yet who can't tell you how tc
do.it." The problem, 1t must be confessed
was somewhat perplexing. 1t was how the
| Government could furnish every man all
the money he wanted, and yet not so in.
crease Its volume as to diminish Its purchas.
ing power, and make it always redeemabls
In coin on demand. No wonder that one
Representative went mad over it and had
to be committed to the National Insane
Asylum where he ended his days.
The character of the House as to sobrfety,
during the period of my connection with it.
| was not of character to meet with the un.
qualified approval of ''The Sons Of
Jonadab." Though there was joint rule
of the two Houses which prohibited the
bringing of any liquors into the Capitol, il
was construed, by some remembers at least, az
not prohibiting the bringing of 1t In theil
skins, Prohibition did not prohibit" |" and
this was especially observable on
The Last Night of a Session.
I recall an amusing incident in this con.
nection. A ceatain member had managed
to get drunk "clear through" He was the
biggest man physically then in the HoVe,
and the drunk was correspondingly large.
He was very much bewildered at seeing the
sun shining through the ceiling about mid
night, and evidently thought that the world,
instead of himself, was standing on its head.
He recovered his equanimity somewhat
when explained to him that 1t was the gas
lights instead of the sun that he had been
observing.
The tendency to 60 wrong in this direction
was corrected in great measure during the
latter years Of my term Of service, by the
introduction of iced tea and lemonade, under
the sanction of the Committee on Accounts,
but which was disallowed in the succeeding
Congress through the influence of a granger
Democratic chairman of the committee, who
regarded it as a useless extravaganza, but
who, it is said, would 60 over to the Senate,
when be got drouthy, and regale himself at
its expense, and SO got credit for economy
without any deprivation of his personal
comfort. The world is full of just such re-
formers.
Strengthened the Lemonade.
One of the best practical jokes ever per-
petrated upon Congress, but which,
strange as it may seem, was greatly relished
by its victims generally, was by DR.. Bur-
leigh, the well-known delegate from Dakota.
He had received a present of gallon of old
Monongahela whisky from some friend in
Western Pennsylvania, and it occurred to
him that it would be an act of fsincere benev-
olence to use it in giving some strength to
the lemonade, and managed surreptitiously
to convey the whole of it into the big tub of
lemonade in the cloak room.
1t SO happened that the first member to
take drink of it was gentleman well
orJa 1c
ardent" and the effect of it was probably
somewhat similar to that experienced by
Petroleum Nasby when Bascom fooled him
with drink of water-the first he had ever
tasted. Our Congressional friend was so
outraged that he was bent upon having an
investigation to find out who the cul lprit
was, and infiict condign punishment on him,
which, however, ColfaX, then Speaker,
managed in some way to prevent until he
could make a private inquiry into the mat
ter. Suspicion pointed strongly to Bur-
leigh and the Speaker took the first oppor-
tunity to interview him. Burleigh pleaded
guilty, but with justifying circumstances.
The Democrats Needed Il.
He said he had travelled round the world
several times, and, in the course of his Jour
neyings, had encountered the smallpox,
yellow fever, cholera and many other dis
eases, all of which he had escaped taking by
the timely use of proper preventives; that
he had observed some alarming symptoms
among members of the House, particularly
on the Democratic sidesand 1ooseness in
the proceedings generally, that called for
very prompt action, and he felt it incum-
bent on him, as man and a physician, to
prescribe something that his personal ex-
perience had proved to be valuable in such
cases; that he had therefore got up pre-
scription in true medical style and phrase
ology, and, that there might be no mistake
about it, had compounded it with his own
hands.
And this was the prescription as he gave
it to Colfax, which it would be well for the
readers of this article to cut out and pre-
serve for future reference:
Spiritus vini, several gallons.
Citroni several gallons.
SachaT1ni, several pounds.
Waterini, not drop.
Colfax exploded, and so did the proposed
investigation CLINTON LLOYD.