Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1891-10-23
THE WISDOM OF ENGLISH SCHOOLS.
Some Amusing Answer from Ambitious
Future Scho0lmasters.

Some Amusing 9 from Ambitious
Future Schonlmasters.
We have it on Biblical authority that
when the blind lead the blind they both
fall into the ditch. If Mr.. Oakley's report
for 1890 on training colleges for school
masters be taken as an index Of the intel
lectual caliber of the gentlemen who are to
instruct u youth in the mysteries Of edu-
cation when it is free. the state of culture
in the next generation will be very
''ditchy" indeed. Very wisely the inspect
ors do not give any clew to the particular
college whose students produce the most
amusing blunders.
To confuse Roger Bacon with Francis of
the same ilk, commonly called Lord Bacon,
but more properly Lord Verulam and Wis.
count St. Adams, is excusable in any n
whose knowledge of English literature is
crammed for an examination; but when q
future schoolmaster gravely informs the
education department that "Viscount We
rulam vas the first British martyr who
suffered death under Nero" the public
may be excused for asking whether the
vengeance of Shakespeare has not at last
fallen upon Mr.. Donnelly and the Bacon
society.
Probably it wa the indisputable fact
that blacksmiths deal with iron and that
steam engines are largely made of this
metal which induced a gentleman to pro-
pound the theorum that adam Smith
was noted as the inventor of the steamship
of Glasgow in the present reign" the last
item of information having no doubt been
thrown in for picturesque effect. Pen
dragon is v%ariously described us "a god of
five dragons, "a dragon of five legs est.
George and the dragon" 'huge cliffs dis
cernible at a great distance"-anything, in
fact, except the real meaning of the word.
Plainly the examination papers prove
chat the training colleges are not homes of
poetry. Two lines given for correction
were:
This England never did nor never shall
Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror!
One candidates correction was, Foot
should be feet, for a conqueror would have
two feet;;'' another sapiently observed, IA
foot cannot be proud-the word is mis-
placed" a third, evidentIya cynic with I'M
patriotic as well as unpoetic feelings hyper
critically observed, ''This sentence is wrong,
for England has lain at the foot of a con-
queror, to wit, William the Conqueror;;"
and, as if to enforce his cynicism, the can
didate actually underlined the word has"
Then, again, several students mixed their
patriotism with anatomy. Says one, at is
incorrect to say proud foot, as the foot is
not affected by such a very human feeling
as pride;;" another puts it, practically, that
IA country is too large to be at anybody's
feet"
Two gentlemen, strong in physiology,
put it that "foot should be feet, it being
natural that a %conqueror should have both
feet" forgetful of the doughty Whitening
ton, who when his legs they were cut off,
he fought upon his stumps;;'' and Foot is
wrong, because it is not natural to suppose
anything with only one Leg" And, lastly,
a plain, blunt man says, 'If England was
to be subdued the conqueror would be
proud, not his foot" After these exhibit
lions of English, as it is understood in our
training colleges, it is not surprising to
find a student gravely informing his ex-
aminers that DR.. johnson wrote the Bible.
London Telegraph.