The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1891-04-03
Inst RaeAnSa

Editor ofthe COLUMBIA HERALD.
4 model husband! Who has ever
seen one? Do you think, Mr.. Editor,
you could make one? Oh, no! a
tough question! Oh, we'll, excuse me.
An old maid, you know, is considered
a privileged person. But, as you
have asked me, personally, for my
opinion on the subject, will cast my
eyes around on the husbands of Co
lumbia, that brightest jewel in Ten
nessee's crown of towns, and see If,
from them all, can choose one in
whose likeness 1 should like the
creature called husband, fashioned.
I have appealed to Mrs. Thinks-her-
self-allO wed-few-privileges for her
aid in this weighty matter, and she
pointed out her friend, Mrs. Do-as-
you-please's husband, who, she
says, fills her ideal of a model hus-
band. Mrs. DIS husband buys her
silks, satins, fur, and jewels, and per-
mits her TO .tiirt with the other men,
and, while he stays with the children,
lets her drive off in the carriage to
THE ball of the season." and spanks
the children himself, without calling
out. "mama, take the hair-brush to
Johnny and piacidlyFeads his paper
while JOhnay Dawls from the stings
10 tis6 innocenf hair-brush. ..a. 81
Mrs. Careless about herr house
sighed deeply when 1t came her turn
to answer, and then EXCLAIMED "a
model husband! and pray, whoever
saw one? All, a model husband
would be rare curiosity! ~
$50 he wouldi Mrs. Careless-about
her-hoDe," L replied, when she went
on to 81 shWell; since have come to
think of it, he is one who keeps you
well supplied with money, doesn't
grumble and swear IL dinner is too
late, the soup scalding hot, the bis
cult burned, the steak tough Gas il We
could help the steaks being tough
and IL the pudding isn't favored right
ly, and the sauce is not rich nor sweet
enough, and the baby cries when it's
his place to make behave and keep
quiet and when you forget to darn
his socks when he should have new
ones) and to sew the buttons on his
shirt, cut down your allowances of
pin-meney t0twenty cents a week.
One who treats his wife as il he knew
she was mistress, of his house as we'll
as he was master, is a, model hus-
bsndn Thanked her and babe her
good morning and walked off. Now,
all OF my married friends gave similar
descriptions, but somehow or other,
they don't coiucide with mine, and
so, finding that l can't sponge off of
my friends for an opinion, will have
to give mine, out and out. or course,
when an ola maid begins to say what
she would do if she had husband
and family, you married ladies begin
to sneer and say "Of course, you'd do
Just as the rest of US do" / can most
always find an answer for them, and
don't mind their sneers at all. A
model husband should LOUe his wife
and children and unless he does, can
never ascend the ladder to "model
husbandship." Next, he must have
a pleasant, comfortable home for his
family, and never scold when his
wife tells him she must have mOnCy
to get the oldest little boy and the
baby some shoes, and she would like |
to have a spring dress, but say, "my |
dear, you will have to wait until i |
pay for the psrlor set for your dress, |
and here is IS, will that do for the
shoes" and kiss her goodbye, and not |
say "GOsh they kick out more shoes |
than any children / ever saw, and |
you got q new dress only a week or
so ago" (when T. was in the falD and,
taking from your pocket twenty
five cent cigar, light it, and walk out,
the door, and waking up
the baby, who begins to bawl, making
it's mother sit down and cry Gas any
woman would when her
husband was cross, the baby bawlIng
and everything tOpsy-turvy.)
A model husband must be man,
for IL he is q man, he will be Chris
tian and Christian man will be good
to his family, and make a really
model husband.
Lastly, the husband, to be q model
one, and an example to other hus-
bands, mustihavela model wife. Now,
that's the opinion of an old maid, who
has remained single, 10! these many
years, not because she has had no
Z Chances but, for the simple reason
that woman always givess Just "be-
tovER FoATY.