The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-06-19
"DON,Ts" FOR WIVES.

Don't disturb your husband while he
is reading his morning or evening paper
by asking foolish questions. He NAV be
reading the latest scandal or divorce suit.
but he is just as much interested as
though it were foreign news or market
reports. BE patient, and when he
comes across anything he thinks you can
comprehend, perhaps he will read it to
you.
Don't communicate unpleasant news
or ask favor before eating. The heart
is noteasily touched when the stomach is
empty.
Don't ever tell a man he is good look
ling. Some other women probably will,
some time, and in that case he won't
know that her opinion concurs with
yours. He carries a pocket hand-glass
now, and he will shortly become addicted
to pajamas.
Don't ever tell a man he has pretty
legs. Men who have been known to
bear up under facial compliments fail
completely when they realize their legs
are noticeably good.
Don't put the morning paper at the
bottom of the pile, and don't have more
than dozen different places for the but
tOn-hOok.
Don't impose upon your husband Just
because he is good enough to assist you
a little i'll your housewOrk. Don't leave
the stove-handle in the red-hot stove,
and don't ask him to empty the ash-hod,
draw line on the ash-hod, and don't
run free horse to death.
Don't gather up all his receipts and
notes that he has put carefully away on
the sitting-rOom table and tuck them in
the fire the moment his back is turned.
IN bn
closet. GraciOusly tender him one nail
for his very own-and then in mercy
hang your "Mother Hubbard" your
pelerine, your shopping bag, and your
bonnet in some other place.
Don't be inexplicit in giving directions.
When you ask him to go upstairs for
your portmonnaie, tell him it is either
on the table, or in the further corner of
the left-hand side of the upper bureau
drawer or in the pocket of your brown
dress in the closet. He will have no
trouble in finding tiff you can tell him
just where it is, especially the pocket.
Don't ask him where he has been the
moment he enters the house, or where
he is going if he starts out for walk
before breakfast. 1t nettles him, and
men hate to have such pointed questions
sprung upon them. Besides that, we
i've under Tree nag.
Don't ask him to walk the floor with
the baby half the night. A man who
tramps industriously around a billiard
table three nights in the week or buys
an admission ticket to the opera can't be
expected to be ON duty at home the
other three nights. Have mercy on him
and give the man an opportunity to re-
cuperate.
Don't waste your breath in useless
vituperation against his favOrite chum.
Cultivate the chum yourself-ostensibly
when your husband is not around, and
matters will assume different aspect.
Don't put pins in your curl-papers or
let your crimping-pins dangle on your
forehead. They are denominations and
feminine implements of warfare that
men despise.
Don't leave hair in the comb, or your
neck-curls where they will stick to his
hair-brush. Don't put a long hair on
the soap or in his tooth-brush-pul
posely.
Don't mend his hosiery with cottor
having knots in it larger than pea.
Don't scold him because he leaves
ashes in his pipe. One of the privileges
of married man is to leave an old pipe
full of ashes in just the position to empty
the contents on the windOw-sill or the
mantel-piece the moment it is touched.
Don't indulge in flights of temper
when your husband suggests how his
mother did If he oiects to having eggs
boiled in the tea-kettle, and prefers them
washed previous to cooking, endeavor to
please him by indulging him in his fan
cies. In the meantime bring your sons
up as carefully as you can, and when
they are married you yourself will doubt
less be held up as an example of virtue;
and revenge is sweet.
Don't be too prodigal in the use OF
kindling wood, There is no fruit of his
toll that man guards as jealousy as he
does his kindling wood. He would fain
put it where thieves break not through
and steal. SO, just because you have
free access to it don't burn up enough to
last week in day.-Chicdgo Herald.