The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-08-26
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Even the funny man sometimes gets
out Of humor.-DaIlas Ne,os.
The bow legged man has the bulge on
the bicycle.-B'nghamton Republican.
Venison is sometimes deer at any price,
but oftener it isnt.-Elmira Gasette.
No man is ever so hard up that he
can't raise an umbrella. -Elmird Gazette.
How to get woman to keep a secret
Give her chloroform.-Ieras Sittings.
Should the telephone girl wear "yel-
Ter" shoes in summer2-BostOn Bulletin.
There Is whole world of difference
between the North and South poles.--
Life
The proper time for experimenting
with airships is in fly time. e.-Ne,o Orleans
Picayune.
Some one asks: "Who is the really
happy mani" Some other man.-Neao
York Recorder.
The politician who wrote an open let
ter wishes now that he had kept it clCsed.
--Ieras Sittings.
Budgely says the most difficult part of
drinking song is the "refrain. "-Biag-
hamton Republican.
A goose farm has been started in Mich
igan. 1t will be managed by a Michigan
der.-2Srd8 Sytings.
Wooden-"Whata funny head that fell
low has. Wagg-"Yes. He's humor-
ist. t."-BostOa Courier.
A mans idea of being good to a woman
is to give her opportunities to be good to
him.-AtehiSon Globe.
Hqsband-"Do you suppose that you
could dress on $40 year2' Wife-"I
could, but can't"-Lo,oeU Citizen.
A man who will lie for himself with
out hesitation will recoil with horror
from lying for you.-AtchiSon Globe.
"And she rejected you!" ''She did"
"By Jupiterl And yet they say that wo-
men have no sense. "-Ne,o York Press.
GLOW contagious the gentleman be-
hind the bat is, )" said Boston girl at
the baseball match Washington Star.
"Papa says Mr.. Blauque is a promis.
ing young man." Her Sister-"He is,
indeed; he's engaged to six CRISP
Life.
Maud-"Td hate to think that you'd
throw yourself at Fred" Mamie-"Why
notf He's a good catch. ."-BrooElyn
Life.
One trouble about unpleasant people is
that it generally seems impossible for
them to get out of the way.--Nlrau-
tee Journal
Bailey Gin history exam. "They say
that history repeats itself All! if it
would but repeat itself to mo!"--Har-
yard Lampoon.
II the small boy who runs away to 90
swimming doesn't make a clean breast of
t while he's in the water he won't when
ne gets out.-Bu6alo Erpress.
When Edison's kiuetograph comes Into
general use, we shall at least be able TO
zee what that sweet-voiced operator at
he Central office really looks like
Lire.
Ihatcher-"NiXon seems like a dull
ort Of fellow. Does he ever crack a
oke" BoXton-'Has to-al,yavs.
amt see into it ii he doesn't. II
iate bielcS Washington.
Mamma-"Now, Pussie, you must 20
0 nurse aud tell her to put you to bed;
Is past O'clock. Pussie-''No. Mum
lie, dear, it isn't; cook has Just told
le it is only half past. Fun.
1t is so perplexing to be told that
larried mau has been released from his
lilerings at last-you can never tell
neither it is the man himself who has
led, or his wife. Freudea6att.
Your son has been graduatedT"
Yes "Now tine question is, will he
able to make hls knowledge useful.
} impart it to others2" ~ guess so,
Q has begun to impart it to me. -
GO York Press.
Bolivar IAN enthusiastic advocate of
wrote the Cremation
'mpany last week asking them TO fle
y formal application to be crematcd.n
an Dyke-"Ahl Did you receive a re-.
w Boliyar-"Oh, yes They told
. to come early and avoid the rush"
.BTO0htya Lye.