The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-19
BRIGHT BITS.

BAaLEY-Bronson must have hard work TO
raise the wind if he is as slow with all his friends
as he is with me.
Brace-Hard work? He's got so he can't
borrow trouble without an indorser.-H drper's
Bdznr
HURRY UP, Mary" cried John.
I'm coming as quickly as I can. I'm
changing my shoes.
"Oh, are you I thought from the time you
were taking you were changing your mind
Christian at Work.
81 DON'T BELIEVE Charles I. ever wrote It.
don't believe Charles L could have writ"
| began Shelley Higgins
oh. rodents, Shelley, rodents You over
whelm ms with ennui, retorted Penelope
| Administered York sun.
| Mrs. PETERBY-Thomas, your hat is right
| shabby. You want to buy yourself new one.
Judge Peterby-This old hat is good enough
| for me.
Mrs. Peterby after pause)-Then you can at
least buy me one-IeraS Sgtings.
HOSPITAL PHYsIc1AN-Was this man run over
by an engine?
| Ambulance Driver-No. He went along
| Washington street asking every one he met If
| there had banana stand taken by the govern
ment on the Italian question.-Chicd1o
| Tribune.
WHAT is this country coming to-" shouted
| the prohibitonist orator, when we see the
| rumseller and his Ininions in places of trust?'
II amt found none OF EN- runnin' no places
| of trust yet, and been in this town more'n a
| year. mused the seedy man near the heater
| Indianapolis Journal.
He must have been a bright boy who said to
| his mother:
Il wish a lion would eat me up"
| ''Why?" the mother asked.
Because 1t would be such joke on the lion
| he would think was inside Of him. and should
| be up in heaven. -CongregdttonRiSt
ELDER-I am afraid Hunkerson's conversion
| is not genuine.
| Deaco1-Why?
Elder-He asked me the othor day il there
| was any chance of his getting rebate at the
| end of the year on the preachers salary case
| he wanted to haul out of the concern before the
| year was up. Chicago Tribune.
| MRS PRENTIcE-How do you always manage
| to have such delicious beef?
| Mrs. Binthyre-I select good, honest butcher
| and then stand by him.
| Mrs. Prentice Y on mean that you give him
| all your tradey
Mrs. Binthyre No, I mean that 1 stand by
| him while he is cutting off the meat.-Ltfe.
| He gazed into her eyes and took her hand
| And looked unutterable Things,
| While tender words seemed ready at command
To soar on loves bright wings
He leaned so near, with such crushing glance,
| So meaning, yet SO sad,
And then-he asked 'the pleasure of the
| da9CeN-
1t was a way he had!
| --Netg York Herald.
Col. Tom OcHILTREE and Maurice Barrymore
| recently had a passage at arms in the Hoffma n
| house, and for time the colonel held his own
gallantly. But at last the rapid fire of raillery
| which Barrymore kept up proved too much for
| him and ne retired from the field. Taking up
| his hat and holding it out to Barrymore, he
| cried:
| Kick it, Barry, kick it; I'm not in it."
| Then what's the use of kicking it," inquired
| Barry, blandly.-Neu0 Yort Recorder.
A FRIEND of Sir John Lubbock's, who was
| travelling around the world, sent him specimens
| of marine animals which he studied carefully,
and of which he published description. One
| of these was new to the naturalist; and, to his
disappointment, his friend said nothing in his
notes of its habitat. He wished very much to
add this information to his account. At last he
| thought that he had found the important state
ment; for the label on the bottle in which the
animal had been preserved and sent home read,
| - s - w" Evidently" thought Sir John,
| this means that the animal was captured in a
spot half a degree west longitude and half
| degree south latitude. He published this con-
clusiou, and rested content until his friend came
| home, and demanded; My dear fellow, what
on earth made you say that found that animal
| in the latitude ald longitude you mentioned? l
! was never within 500 miles of the place" Sir
| John produced the bottle, and pointed to the
| label Il took the Information from this" he
| said, What else can u s. II w mean"
! 'Mean?' was the reply why, it means that
| the animal is preserved in a mixture half spirit
| and half water. ''-ErchdnGe.