The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-10-03
scINTILLATIoNs OF WIT.


when the parlor lamp is too high.
The man who has no charity in his
heart gives no quarter to the hotel
waiter.
Know thyself. Ifyou can't get the
requisite information, run for Office.
The scientists say an actual ,vacu-
um cannot exist, and yet the dude
lives.
Nature has wisely arranged mat
ters 20 that q man can neither pat
his back nor kick himself.
What the soles said to the boot
heel-"Run down and see US"
The man who depends upon wages
will get rich sooner than the man
who depends upon wagers,
what is ability?" ability, my
dear, is knowing howlittle you really
do know, and keeping Others from
finding it out"
When you see man who kisses his:
children in public, you may be pretty
sure that he keeps the seats of their
pantaloons well busted at home.
Napoleon said-"Scratch Roman
and you find Tartar" Scratch of
the front part of the names of most.
Russians and you find the itch"
II there is one thing more certain
than another it is that teeth were
not made for men, but in order to
give the dentist q chance to make q
living.
She: "Did you let father know you
owned q great deal of real estate?"-
He: II limited at it."-She: what did
he say?"-He: "Hesaid deeds speak
louder than words"
Mrs. Winks-"So you hare taken
another companion for better Or
worse, eh?" Mrs. Secondtrip-"Only
for better, my dear. He can't possi-
bly, be worse than the other one was.
Miss Pyrte: "What makes you
such q confirmed woman-hater, Mr..
Olebach?"-Olebach: "Well, when
l was q young man q woman made
fool of me'"-Miss Pyrte: And
you never got over it?"
Mrs. Smitem-"Bobby, you bad
boy, have you been fighting with
Tommy Slimson again? Dear, dearr
shall have to get you new suit. "
Bobhy-"That's nothing, mn. You
ought to see Tommy SIimson. His
ma may have to get her new boy"
Physician Ito Mrs. Col. Blood, Of
NATURALIZATION did your husband
pass the night. Mrs. Blood?" Mrs.
Blood-"He seemed quite comforta-
BILE, sir, and asked for water several
times" Physician with a grave
look )-"H'm-still Eighty"
Housewife-We haven't any cold
victuals nor Tramp-Cold victualsr
Who asked you for cold victuals? I
want broiled steak, an fried eggs,
an hot flannel cakes, an coffee. Cold
yictualsl The idea!
School Mistress-"TomIny, what
did you disobey me for?" Tommy
"Cos l thought you'd whip me-"
School Mistress-"What did you
want me to whip you for?" Tommy
-" Cos pa said he would if you
didn't, and he hurts"
Young DR.. Pille-'I attended Mrs.
Languish to-day, father, but can't
see for the life of me that anything is
the matter with her." Old DR.. Pile
(gasping)-"But for heavens sake,
my boy, hope you didn't say any
thing of the kind to her!' Young DR..
Pille-"No father" Old DR.. Pile
"Good! You know a healthy patient
lasts a long time"
81 don't believe / am very popular
with your father" said Herbert, sad
ly. "No," she answered frankly,
"you are not" "Do you know of
anything l could do to make him like
me better?" don't think of any
thing" she answered, after some
thought, unless you could go away
somewhere and die.
81 have observed" remarked a
mean old bachelor, trying to be fun
nv, that when one has fortune and
adds Miss to it. he has misfortune
thereafter" "Then you ought to
marry a widow" quickly responded
n lady in black, and the funny man
went into his shell.-Washington
Star.
Teacher, Ito class in grammnr)-In
the sentence "The poor misguided
wretch was taken to prison." what
part of speech is poor? johnny
Blivens's hand is raised. Johnny may
answer. Johnny Blivens-"Poor" is
an unnecessary word, NON. There
amt any rich misguided wretches
ever taken to prison.
"Mr. Penny" said the editor gent
ly, but firmly, 81 fear the time has
come to sever the relations which have
an LONG existed between us I have