The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-06-26
MISCELLANEOUS.


race over plowed ground and another
over railroad ties. each for a large
stake, are among the unique events.
There is at hotel in Chicago man
from northern Michigan who wishes to
buy a whole town ready built. He
wants to be head of the place and have
his word accepted as law.
"A resident of Minneapolis has fallen
heir to three big fortunes, all within
fifteen days. The smallest of the three
is more than So, 900, and all are from
relatives totally unknown to the lucky
man.
"A young man who handled money
for a New York firm with which he
was employed turned up missing the
other day. A reporter, writing about
it, innocently said: His accounts We're
found to be all right His friends think
he is insane. Detroit Free Press.
In Oldbury, Worcestershire, En-
gland, life insurance club has been
uncovered where the offices of president
and treasurer were held by an under
taller, and that of secretary by his
daughter. 1t is charged it was so man
aged as to put premium on murder.
"A woman living in a small village
near Allentown, Pa, was notified TO
come to Reading to sign off her interest
in an estate, which was ninety-five
cents. She declined to ge because her
inheritance would not pay the car fare.
The amount goes to the state unless the
lawyers cover it in fees.
A Michigan man tumbled into a
hole four feet deep one evening, and
supposing himself at the bottom of a
mine-shaft forty feet deep, he put in
the night praying and halloing. When
morning came he climbed out and gave
a teamster dollar to boot him for
forty rods down the road.
Spring Chicken.-''Spring chicken,
sir, said the waiter, as he put the half
of diminutive fowl before patron of
a table dhote. ut certainly can't be a
summer one" remarked the diner, as
he disposed of the portion in a single
mouthful. Zone swallow does not make
a summer."-N. Y. sun.
Young Man complaining to his
baker of his bread)-"See here. Your
breads so hard I can't eat it." Baker
gnantly)-"Young chap. I made
bread long before you was born"
Young Mani don't doubt it, sir; and
Judge it's some of those same loaves
you've been selling me-
A Reliable Practitioner. Friend
"What did the doctor say about your
case?" Invalid-"He said he didn't
know what was the matter with me-
Friend-"Indeed? You evidently went
to very old and experienced physi-
clan. ID emorest's Monthly.
The Long Felt Want is Not Yet
Filled.-Mrs. Ongwee-"What a boon
to women. A watch has been invented
that will wind itself" Mr.. Ongwee-
"What a boon to men it will be when a
watch is invented that will buy itself. :"
Jewellers Weekly.
The Real Trouble. Ito the
husband who is driving nails)-''What
have you done? Please don't swear So"
Husband (savagely)-'Can't man hit
a nail on the head if he wants TOP"
Wife-"Then if you hit the nail on the
head what on earth is the matter?"
Husband-"My finger was on it at the
same time" - Smith, Gray IL Co. s
Monthly.
A good reason why no one has an
swered the old conundrum, What has
become of all the pins?" is that the
ends to which they come are as divers
as the uses to which they are put.
Many billion of them must go into
the street cleaning carts, since at least
one citizen declares that he has never
once wanted pin and failed to find it
at his feet somewhere on the sidewalk
of the block wherein he has looked for
tn. y. Sun.
An immigrant girl arrived at the
barge Office recently suffering from that
terrible scourge of poorlyfed people in
hot countries, elephantiasis. This girls
case, however, would be a peculiar one
even in countries where elephantiasis is
at its worst. for the disease has attacked
her nose and has enlarged it to such an
extent that the barge Office carpenter
was called up to measure it. He found
it to be 515 inches long.
In the last two years New London
(Ct.) lobstermen have bagged in their
deep water. traps in Fishers Isl
and Sound not less than five or six in
digo Holsters, which are so rare that it
is not known that more than two of the
kind had ever been taken in the world
before. In the same time two blne
Holsters were caught by Maine fisher
men. Blue Holsters are as blue as the
summer sky, and extremely beautiful.
Grant Allen, in his suggestive arti-
Gle entitled " Democracy and Dia-
monds, in the Contemporary, remarks:
"a diamond viewed as an aesthetic OBJ
ject is distinctly vulgar; it belongs to
the same category as cut-glass luster
chandeliers, the ormolu drawing-room
mirror, Louis Gunige tinsel, and spangle
and gaudy gew-gaws in general No
body would endure diamonds if they
We're not so costly; nobody will endure
them when they are paste and pinch
beck. 1t is the knowledge that they
mean SO much money expended which
renders them fashionable and endura-
BILE at all
A queer marine monster has been
captured off the Jersey coast. 1t was
about five feet long, and in shape some
what resembled toadtish. Two rows
of +aa+b