The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1891-12-26
FADED FRIENDSHIPS.
From phIladelphia Ledger.

From Philadelphia Ledger.
There is always something beautiful in
the continuance of a loyal friendship, and
equally sad in its decay. Sometimes these
sudden breaks or gradual weakenings occur
through grave defects in the character of
one OF both of the parties concerned. There
are people who seem to use their friends
as they do their garments, which are highly
priced when new, but which grow shabby
with constant wear, and are then careleSsly
thrown aside to make room for others.
Some allow the faults of temper or DISPOSE
ton to spoil the pleasure which their friends
have in their society; while others, too
exacting or critical, or Jealous or sensitive,
wear out the patience and affection which
would otherwise continue to be Il we'll
spring of delight in their lives.
Beyond these and other causes, however,
which reflect certain disgrace upon the
friends who break the bonds of intimacy,
there are some natural and inevitable rea-
sons for the decay of friendship which need
more recognition than they receive, There
are many cases in which neither party is to
blame, and wherever this is discerned and
conceded the sharpest sting Of the separa-
ton is removed All friendship is founded
on some kind of sympathy, aud however
different in tastes or in temper, in outward
circumstances or inward character two
friends may be- there must be agreement
in some direction to bind them together.
This agreement, too, must exist IN certain
things which fill up good part of the
thought and feelings of each, or the SYM
pathy will be too slight to form a bond of
union. The artist and the man of business
may be dear friends, but it is because there
is something else than their occupations
which they have in common, and which
is much to both Of them. People diamet-
REALLY opposite in views may be excellent
friends, but there must be other direc-
tons in which they sympathize. So per-
sons of the most diverse characteristics may
be tenderly attached, but there must be
certain tastes or interests in common.
Now we are all constantly growing and
changing, and these growths and changes
are as different, one from another, as the
features of our faces. If then, for any
reason, friends grow apart in that particu
lar domain where their sympathies have
united them, it is well nigh impossible that
the same degree of responsive intimacy
should continue For example, school
friendships, however real and true, are sell
dom lasting Occasionally we see two
adults who were child friends still enjoying
each Others society and it is always pleas
ant sight But for one such continuance
hundred have drifted away from each
others thoughts and affections, and this
without any fault on either side. At
school, study and play were the uppermost
things in their minds and hearts, and they
were pretty equally shared. The bulk Of
their interests was the same, and when any
close intimacy was formed there was every
thing to favor it. By and by, however,
the scene changes; one goes to college, the
other to business, OF one lives quietly in
the country and the other is in the rush Of
city life Inevitably now the minds which
were once centred on the same things are
turned into different channels. Hence
forth, when they meet, which may be very
seldom, each has large department Of
thought and feeling unknown to the other,
vet which is all in all to him. 1t is hardly
possible that the old relations should linger
when the foundations have thus crumbled
away
Thus in Il thousand changes of life.
One marries and enters into Il new life, in
which his friend can have no part; one goes
abroad, sees new phrases of life, enlarges
his mind, and the smaller life in which he
moved seems narrow and one-sded. The
friends who have never quilted it are less
satisfying to him than formerly, and he
cannot be so much to them. Sometimes
friends drift apart in consequence Of honest
changes of views on subjects which mean
much to both of them. In politics, in re-
ligion, in differing standards of action, even
in methods of education or of business, in
schools of art or science, changes which
may mean growth and advancement, but
which arrive at opposite conclusions, are
often sufficient to weaken and even to kill
friendship.
While all this must be regretted, it
should not be made subject of grief, or
despair, or censure. \ great deal of need
less sorrow is felt, a great many bitter feel
ings are INDUCED, great deal of unjust
blame is poured out, in connection with
faded friendships, many of which are as
natural in their time as the fading leaves of
autumn. 1t is folly to expect that the
loosened leaves shall become green again,
and cling to the boughs with their former
tenacity, and it is equal folly to insist upon
as impossible a resuscitation Of the faded
friendship, which is as inevitable Il result
of natural changes. Instead of this, as we
regard tenderly the falling leaves, for what
they have been, so should we hold every
past friendship in sweet and sacred recol-
lection, as a treasure to be cherished with
care, and from which every jealous or re-
proachful feeling should be scrupulously
banished. Then we shall always have
pleasure in meeting an old FRIEND for the
sake of the old friendship, which was beau
tiful in its time, though no longer possible
in its old form. Indeed, no friendship that
is regarded can utterly die; its influence is
eternal.
The tree
Sucks kindier nurture from soil enriched
By its own fallen leaves; and man is made,
In heart and spirit, from deciduous hopes,
And things that seem to perish.