davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
BASE BALL
WESTERN ASSOCIATION.


KANSAS CRY, Mo. Sept. kansas City:
Rnns q base hits 9. errors 3. Denver:
Runs 8. base hits 5. errors 8. Pitchers,
Roach and Kennedy.
OMAHA. Sept. 7.-Omaha: Runs 1, base
hits 5. errors f. Sioux City: Runs 8,
base hits 9, errors 1. Pitchers, Stein and
Hart.
NATIONAL LEAGUE.
PHILADELPHIA. Sept. 7.-Philadelphia:
Runs 8, base hits 9, errors 2. Pittsburg:
Runs g. base hits z, errors 0. Pitchers,
Thornton and King. Afternoon game
Philadelphia: Runs 1, base hits l, errors
4 Pittsburg: Runs S, base hits 10, errors
2. Pitchers, Keefe and Baldwin.
BsooKLYN, Sept. 7.-Morning game
Rrooklvn: Runs 21. base hits 10, errors 1.
Chicago: Runs 3, base hits 3, errors TO-
Pitchers, Vickery and Caruthers. After
noon game-Brooklyn: Runs s, base hits
9. errors 3. Chicago: Runs 9, base hits
l3, errors s. Pitchers, Lovett and Hutch
iuson.
BosroN, Sept. 7-Morning and after
noon games, both League and Association,
postponed on account of rain.
New YORK, Sept. 7.-Morning game
New York: Runs Z, base hits z, errors 8.
Cinciunati: Runs s, base hits 8, errors 3.
Pitchers. Rusie and Mulane. Afternoon
game-New York: Runs 6, base hits 5, er-
rorS 2 Cincinnati: huns U, DaSe nlIS 4,
errors /. Pitchers, X. j. Ewing and
Crane.
CINcINNATI, O., Sept. 7.-Cincinnati:
RunsS. base hits 9, errors f. New York:
Runs Z, base hits 6. errors 4. Pitchers,
Mulane and Robie.
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION.
WASHINGTON, Sept. 7.-Washington:
Runs Z, base hits IA, errors 10. Columbus:
Runs 16, base hi5s 12 errors 2. Pitchers,
Gastright and Duke. Afternoon game
Washington; Runs 8, base hits 3, errors
8. Columbut: Runs 8, base hits 4, errors
l. Pitchers, Foreman and Leipner.
PHILADELPHIA, Sept. 5. - Forenoon
Athletics: Runs 5, base hits s, errors l.
Milwaukee: Runs 3, base hits z, errors
l. Pitchers, Chamberlain and Davies.
Observation-Disclosures, Runs l, base hits 4,
errors 2 Milwaukee: Runs 4, base
hits Z, errors 2. Pitchers. Wing and
Killen.
BALTIMORE, Sept. baltimore: Runs
Z, base hits IL, errors ). Louisville: Runs
). base hits II, errors 3. Pitchers, Healy
and StratUon. Afternoon - Baltimore:
Runs 9, base hits IA. errors 8. Louisville:
Runs ), base hits S, errors 8. Pitchers,
Madden and Meakin.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
WooDMEN OF THE WORLD.

Sedgwick Camp No 12 meets tonight in
Peerless hall. Several applications. AL
officers must be present.
G. E. MARTIN, G. G.
E ] SPENCER. Clerk
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
GOOD COOKING

Is one of the chief blessings of every home.
To always insure good custards. puddings,
sauces, etc, use Gail Borden Eagle" Brand
Condensed Milk. Directions on the label.
Sold by your grocer and druggist.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
a TRAMP KILLED.

Free from pimple, spot or blemish is the
skin preserved by CUT1CURA SOAP.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
KANSAS VETERANS.

oooft, white hands and shapely nails 70
all by using CUTICURA SOAP.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
JoTpINas ABOUT TOWN.

The Hotel Helena will aetve ~ Eaatsrn
dinner Of unusual excellence.
German Lutheran service Eaatet Sunday
800 b. n. ALL ar0 cordially tnvieods
MIRA. Harvey Glenn will opena M yRsst
Side kindergarten on Monday, April SHAT
408 Madison avenue. MIA
Aaron II. Wilson has levied ~ attach
ment on the Three Mile Milling and MIN
ing company for $6O2.IO.
Fl. M. Force has located twenty acres OF
placer ground near the Judge AtlRer placer
on the Northern Pacific RAILROAD.
The Indian sale that was to have been
held at Mrs. b. III. Greene's ON Ewing
street Tuesday has been postponed until
Tuesday week.
Mrs. Havilah Heathwood holds her usual
Sunday night meeting at the Christian.
Science institute, third floor Pittsburgh
block. AL invited.
Final exam. nations were in progress the
past week at the Helena Business college.
and from the satisfactory work accom-
plished by students indications are that
quite a number will receive their diplomas
this spring. The average attendance at
the college at present is about seventy stu
dents.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Caution.

The following letter signed by us and
others is being used as a part of the pros
pectus of the National Loan and Savings
union, of Helena, Montana:
HELENA. Nor tana, January l, 1891.
''To Whom 1t May Concern:
This isto certify that we, the under
signed bankers andbusiness men of Helena,
Montana are we'll acquainted with the di-
~rectors and officers Of the National Loan
and Savings union, of Helena, Montana,
and havefno hesitation in recommending
them to the confidence of the public, feel
ing satisfied as to their reputation for BUSH
ness ability and integrity, and knowing
them to be capable of transacting with sue
cess a financial undertaking of this kind"
At the time of signing this letter we
were not ware of the purpose for which it
was to be used, and now wish to inform the
public that the use of our names, in this
connection. is hereby forbidden, and that
we do not indorse nor recommend the Ma
tional Loan and Savings Union.
Signed: JOHN I. MURPHY,
President Helena National Bank,
A.. G.. JOHNSON,
Cashier American National Bank,
CANS d. KLEIN.
G. A. BRoADwArER,
President Montana National Bank.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

A Card to the Public.
OFF1cE NATIONAL LOAN AND SAVING UNION,
HELENA, MoNT.-Thed directors of the Nation
al Loan and Saving Union invite all who are
interested in the plan and method of build
ing and loan associations to call at their
Office in tho Merchants National bank
building and satisfy themselves by an ex-
animation of the work end methods that
the securities for all loans made are ample,
that all securities are non-assignable, are
not transferable and are held for the bene-
fit of all it's members.
We invite any right minded person to
investigate our work and methods, knowing
such examination will strengthen our asser.
ton that there is nothing stated or prom
Used by US that will not be fully performed
to the letter, and nothing connected there
with that is not legitimate, honorable and
founded on a solid basis; Notwithstanding
any and all statements or insinuations te
| the contrary made by anyone.
BY order of the board of directors.
JOHN B. WILSON, President,
VIM. +. WHITAKER, Secretary.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Succeeds to the Hue ness.
Mr.. Jas. s. Featherly, who succeeds to the
business of Calkins y Featherly, the Broad
way stationers and dealers in art goods, has
one of the most complete stocks in his line
in the northwest. As heretofore. Mr..
Featherly will make 9 speciality OF fine
etchings. frame. and mouldings, his stock
comprising the best in any market. The
latest books he has in all sorts Of bindings,
while the line of leather goods is very coln-
plete. His stock OF stationery comprises
everything called for, from fine goods for
the ladies to the more substantial used by
the merchant and professional man. In
baby carriages he can please the most fas-
tidious papa or malnma.
Under Mr.. Featherly's sole management
this popular house will retain its well-de-
served reputation for the best goods at
moderate prices.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
PERSONAL,

Capt. and Mrs. j. w. Plummer came over
from Elkhorn yesterday. .44 n
j. H. Pearse and family nave taken up
their residence at No. q, Olive street, west
side. ~
Marshal Furay leaves for Warm Springs
to-day for the purpose of recruiting his
health. i
Dr.. A. G. Stoddart, the now famous San
Francisco specialist, surgeon and physician,
is now on his way to Helena and will ar
rive here on April LIST.
Adam Gassert, son of Harry Gassert, of
Cooke City, Montana, left for home after
spending the winter for a course of studies
at the Helena business college. .
MIR. W. b. BARLEY, the popular manager
of the Gait Coal company, il in the city.
He will make a trial of the coal for the
East Helena smelter on Monday.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
he wise in Time.

That is, by purchasing before they are all
gone, and wise after YOU get one; referring,
of course. to those 1926 watches The j. Stein
metz Jewelry company advertise or first
page. Read the description, and if you
ever intend to get a watch. now is the
opportunity to secure big value for your
mOueV.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
he Wise in Time!

That is, by purchasing before they are all
gone, and wise after you get one; referring,
of course, to those 25 watches The j. Stein
metz Jewelry company advertise on fret
ever intend to get a watch, now is the
opportunity to secure big value for your
mOney.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

To The INDEPENDENT: For the informa-
ton of the public in general, I wish to state
to all my friends that the sale of property
I made to j. P. Cummings that was pub
lished in your issue of this morning was
rot fraudulent, which / can prove. The
reason / lost the case in the district court
was owing to the absence Of j. p. Cum
mings, to whom I sold the property.
john G. LYNCH.
Helena, Mont. March 81, 1890.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Commercial Club Banquet.

The Commercial clubs banquet at The
Helena last evening was n Of the finest Of
the season. The menu was elaborate, and
the tables were brilliantly decorated. II
was served under the careful direction of
the head waiter. Mr.. Henry. Those present
Eaton, G. w. Cannon, Geo. L. Tracy. II. A..
Harlow. w. E. Cox, E. D. Weed. Donald
Bradford. d. A. Cory, A. j. Seligman, John
4. Murphy, G. K. Wells, L. G. Phelps, w.
J, Fuchs,
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Be Wise in Time!

That is, by purchasing before they are all
gone. and wise after you get one; referring,
of course, to those 1926 watches The J. Stein
metz Jewelry company advertise on first
page. Read the description, and if you
ever intend to get a watch, now is the
opportunity to secure big value on your
money.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Opening of Spring rerm.

New classes in English and commercial
studies are organized tomorrow and Tues
day at the Engelhorn Helena Business COL
lege. Day and night classes for beginners
in shorthand and typewriting. Begin now.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
changes Among the Catholic clergy.

Changes Among the CathOI1c. C1crgy.
The following changes of %pastorates
have been made among the Catholic
clergymen of Montana: Rey. G. Pauwelyn
of Miles City, transferred to Butte; Rev. A.
Coopman, from Bozeman TO Miles City;
Rev. Fl. Lanbaere of Helena, sent to Boze-
man; Rev. F. Monre of st. Peters Mission,
to Benton.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Are You a Housekeeper?
If 30, 60 take q look at thoae $25 tea sets
the j. Steinmetz company are displaying in
their windows. Description on first page.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Lea A Dabney and wife w. L. Barnes, Chicago.
Butte. d. X. Shedd. Chicago.
Mr.. and Mrs. Andrew. Master Harry Dimond,
Chicago. Chicago.
Master Harry Traux, Chas. u. Rogers. Chi
Chicago. cayo.
7. a. Oman, Ekhorn. w. b. Sparhmnn, Chi
w. s. Dodge and wife, csgo.
Placer. II. ID. Haskins, St.Louis
A. Black, st, Paul. w, N. Fitch, st. Paul.
&C: Wheeler, Great II. LOckey, san Fran.
Falls. cisco.
T.. c. Atwater, Philadelphia
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

The Thnlia society will give a dance Sunday
evening at the harmonic. ! Admission for gentle
men will b soc.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

For the street eight b ,tton suede mousquetairs
our price only S1.95. reg ular price $3.50. and five
hook glace gloves at Sl.25 and S1.75. remain the
standard lengths. ss5
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Gard From MIR. j. c. Lynch.

Broadway meat market will remove to 12o
Broadway AIril l. j.. J. i ack, Proprietor.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Choice spring wheat for seed. also choice
clean oats for sale. Address Montana Milling
Co., Helena, Montana.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Sixteen button cream suede evening gloves have
become SO general as to no longer occasion re-
mark at Fowles' Cash Store. They fit them for
$3.50.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Special to-day at Il. Tonn's, No. 8 North Main
street; 500 lace straw hats at % cents; 800 daisy
and violet wreaths atN25 cents.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Succeeds to the Bussness

Pick out . nice baby carriage At The Bee Hive
before the best are sold.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Black Metro ribbons for trimming fancy suits
Of fine bingham, q tull line at Fowles Cash
StQra, .M...a III HMMN... MMM Me
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

The ITALIA society will give a dance Sunday
evening at the Harmonic. Admission Tor gentle
men will be Soc.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
A Card to the Public.

irish point collars and cuffs, regular price 75c.
and 81, reduced 10 Soc. at Fowles' Cash Store.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

Mrs. /. Johns. Elkhorn
j. p. That, Augusta.
lien p. uoodwin, Seds-
liza.
Capt. JAS. Goldman.
Chicago.
Il. b. Colhille. Chicrgo.
Is. Morse, Toston.
Geo. NJ. Padburg, Marys-
vile.
A. L.. ~Stapleton, lham
bra.
RE. Hammond. RAIDERS
burg.
Dua.ey DuBose, Fort
Benton.
Edward Anderson, u.
i. Amy.
r. L.. L. Hoffman, Chi.
cago.
IL. Il. WhitehiIl, / eel
Lodge.
James Quinn, Elliston.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Arrival. a. the Grand Central.

r. y. Strobel, Corbin.
A. Hodson and wife, ct.
Clair.
p. j. Donohue, Marys-
vile. q
Lekoy Rand. Chicoge.
e. W. Pringle Chicsgo.
VIM. Nj c Kendrick,
Marysyille.
W.. Birkhead, Marys-
vile.
Miss Eva Williams, Al
hambra.
D. D. Smith, st. Paul.
". T.. tioas, Helena.
J: ID. Asker, areat Falls
IL. Lockridge, Great
Falls.
John Morris, Helena.
j. j. Mayne, Canyon
Ferry.
| Frank Nelson. Wickes,
X. Feed, Columbia
| Falls.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29

The Clemenceau Case at The Bee Hive.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-03-29
Buy the Clemenceau Case at The Bee Hive.

The Bon Ton uses Chicago sora-fed beef
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-22
MARKETS BY TIL aa aAPs.
FINANCIAL.

FINANCIAL
NEW YoRK, Feb 81. noon.-Stocks opened
dull and heavy. Money easy at per cent Ex.
change-long. S4S5; short, 3 s74. Govern
ment bonds neglected. State bonds dull but
steady.
The following were the . p. M. stock quota
tons
Erie. ............. 1874 Richm'd & W.Pt
Chicago & North. l0IM Terminal 1897
Lake Shore. ......i1lj6 Western Union. 81 :
NEw YoRK, Feb u, 500 p. mastering ex-
change closed quiet but steady ct 81 SjM
$50; commercial bills 81 S54@4 S7lS Money
easy, no loans. closing ofTerei at per cent
Government bonds closed dull but steady; four
per cents 1905, four and half per cents 1903.
State bonds closed entirely neglected.
SUB Treasury balances-Coin, Sl5lS12 600.
currency, SS3Is.000.
There was no expectation of anything more
than dull and listless market this morning
aud no one was disappointed, many brokers
failing to put in an appearance, aud the floor
for long time presented a deserted appear
auce while trading was strictly in accordance
The room was inclined to the bull side for the
most part, but Just before the bank statement
appeared there was shown disposition 10 dis
count an unfavoraole showing, and final deal
ings were marked by weaker tone Mobile
and Ohio was prominent among the low. priced
shares, advancing from 36A 10 80 On the
other hand, Susquehanna stocks we're sharply
depressed, common falling from 1885 to and
preferred from 81 to SAY, though partial re-
totally devoid of other feature, and the close
was rather heavy at insignificant changes for
the day Mobile aud Ohio is up ia per cent
but S1squehanna and Western preferred Is of
~ and common lA pr cent. The sales were
$4,000 shares of listed and 1900 shares of un-
listed.
The following were the closing quotations of
che New York Stock Exchange:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-22
he MORNING NEVIS SUNDAY FEBRUARY 18gTWELvE PAGES

ing zero weather this morning. From this
cause solely those who were previously short
were encouraged to press the market with fur
Their offerings. There were sellers IN a5und-
ancce of May wheat at gLzc, against e7Jfc on
the previous afternoon The last twenty min
utes OF the session prices were at the lowest
point OF the day. May sold at 9516c and closed
maj quotation Toe most active trading o. the
day was concentrated in the time occ Ipied by
the mai break. Tho market for corn was
afected by the weather at tue start, which,
being favorable TO freer movement from first
hands, made the opening rather weak at 1SElJ4c
under yesterdays closing figures Sellers upon
the bulge OF yesterday, having an encouraging
margin or profit. were inclined to press the ed-
vantage they would thus possess The break
Ia wheat near the close was the influencing
cause OF the drop in May corn TO $50, with
being an immediate slight reaction. Oats were
extremely dull at a narrow range of prices.
Provisions opened weak and declining on con
tinusd accumulation OF stocks and continued
heavy receipts of hogs. Pork for May opened
az decline OF sc, and after a temporary resc-
ton OF TIC broke 22Iss and closed at 50 IS,
which was the lowest for the day. Lard made
bad break. closing at a decline Of 1sl6c and
rios made similar poor showing.
CHICAGO. Feb. 2l.-Casn quotations were as fol-
lows; Flour steady; spring patents 81 800
475. Wheat-No. 2. spring 933z094c; No. :,
red, e3N09sc. Corn-No. 2, 521fc. Oats
No. =, 4ossQ451xo. Mess pork, per barrel, 60 37I6
Lard at IS 6005 G21. Short rib sides
loose, 81 550f 65. Dry sailed shoulders, boxed,
50 9O14 90. Short clear sides. boxed. 81 $50
co. Whisky at 81 L.
Leading futures ran yed as follows:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-22

New York, Feb 19-Arrived schrs Jno Davis,
Green. Mobile; Martha s Bement, Rulon,
Darien, Ga.
Sailed, steamship Banan [Norl, Pensacola.
Charters-Steamship Jane Radclf [Brl, Port
Royal to Bristol, phosphate rock l5s; barks
Broderfolker lNor], Pascagoula to Rio Janeiro
lumber, S14 90; Johanna Marie [Norl, Pensacola
TO Rio Janeiro lumber, same: Towo fNorl Pen
sacola TO Rio Janeiro. lumber, same; Amicizia
[Itall, Savannah to Rotterdam or Hamburg
rosin, Is Cd, option Baltic, Is 71ad; brig Alice,
hence via Doboy TO Aux Cages, general cargo
and Lumbar, and back from second port with
loywood, on &; schrs Sam1 w Hall Bucksville
to Point-a- Pitre, lumber, on p t; Kit Carson.
Jacksonville to st Vincent, lumber, 81 25; steam.
ship Hessie [Br]. FernandinA to tie United King
dom, 1885, or Baltic 20 Cd.
Gibraltar, Feb 19-Passed, steamship Garde-
MIA [Brl, Robinson Savannah for Genoa
Kingston, ia, Feb 9-Arrived, schrs Alice Cur
tbs, Jennett, Mobile via Grand Cayman; Grace
Litteton, Charleston.
Boston, Feb 19-C!eared, schr Sadie Wircutt.
Brown, Brunswick Ga, and sailed.
Baltimore, Feb 1q-Arrived. bark New LIGHT
Pedrick. Savannah; schrs Geo G Green, Burton
Charlotte Harbor. Fla; Blanche Hopkins, Davis,
Charleston.
Brunswick, Feb l9-Arrived, schrs John H
Gross, Rawley. New York; Pope Tono [SpI.
Abb, Havana.
Sailed, schr Annie Conlon, Monroe, Bos-
ton.
Fernandina, Feb ig-Arrived. schr Richard T
Hartley, Green. New York
Jacksonville, Feb i9-Cleared, schr G G Kelly
[Brl Sturpert. Halifax, N S.
Norfolk, Feb 19-Arrived, steamship Peconic
lbrl Harnden, Savannah for Barcelona (eoaled
and sailed).
Nobska. Feb 19-Anchored off, schrs Susan H
Richie, Perkins. from Brunswick for Boston
with loss OF foretopmaSt); Charles Davenport,
do for do.
Pensacola. Feb la-Cleared, bark Lines Bros
Nor. Svendsen, Brest; Rissetto C [Itall, Schiaf-
flno. Genoa
leth-Arrived, bark Julie [Norl. NiIsen, Mon
tevideo.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-22
SWARMS OF INSECTS.
How Stanley Was Beset in the Great
african Forest.

How Stanley Was Beset In the Great
african Forest.
We 90 not care to probe into that mighty
mass of dead trees, brown and porous as a
sponge, fer already it is mere semblancs
Of PROSTATE log, writes Stanley in his
book. Within it is alive with minute
tribes. 1t would charm an entomologist
Put your ear to it and you hear distinct
murmurous hum. 1t is the stir and move
ment of insect life in many forms, match
less in size, glorious in color, radiant IN
livery, rejoicing in their occupations, exult'
lug in their fierce but brief life, most in
sa5iate Of their kind, ravaging, foraging,
lighting, destroying, building and swarm
ing everywhere and exploring everything.
Lean but your hand on a tree, measure
but your length on the ground, seat your
self on fallen branch, ana you VIII then
understand what venom, fury, voreclty ana
activity breathes around you.
Open your notebook; the page attracts
dozen butterflies, honey-bee hovers over
your hand, other forms of bees dash for
your eyes, wasp buzzes in your ear, =
huge hornet nnenaces your facs, an army o.
pismires come marching to your legIi
Some are already crawling up ana VIZ
presently be digging their scissors-lke lnah-
dibles in your neck. Wool woe! =.
And yet it is all beautifdl-but there mus
be no sitting or lying down on this seetninS5
earth. 1t is not like your pine groves az
your dainty woods in England. IL
tropic world, and to enjoy it you must A''F
slowly moving.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-22
SOME CONUNDRUMs
Which Are so New That the Ministries
Have Not Yet Heard Them.
From the PHILADELPHIA Press.

WAICu AE9 SO NEW InaC CEe MINISTRIES
Have Not Yet Heard Them.
From the PhiIadelDhia Press.
Why are birds so melancholy in the morn.
iugl Because their little bills are all over
dew.
How may bookkeeping be taught in les.
son of three wordsa "Never lend them"
Why are parliamentary reports called
''blue books" Because they are never
read.
What is the best way to enjoy the happi-
ness of courtship9 Get little gal-an'-try,
Why is chrysalis like hot roll? Be.
cause it's the grub that makes the butter fly.
Why is a blush an anomalys Because
woman who bushes is admired for her
cheek.
Why is Zulu belle like a prophet Of
old? She has not much on'er in her own
country.
Why are wings and wigs alikel Because
they both profess an attachment to the
crown.
How many peas in pintl Onep.
What trade is like the suns A tanners.
What is an extra dry subjecti
mummy.
What is counter irritant2 A woman
shopping.
What is lawyers favorite dishl suss
puuQlng.
Why are hogs like trees? They root fora
living.
What part of speech is kissingl A cons
junction.
What grows bigger the more you con'
tract it? Debt.
Who is the Oldest Iunatic on record? Tims
out Of mind.
Why is the moon like a marriage cons
tracts 1t governs the tide.
Who was the straightest man in Bible
times? Joseph; Pharoah made ruler Of
him
Why do girls kiss each other and men
notl Because girls have nothing better to
kiss and men have.
What did the muffin say to the toasting-
fork? You're too pointed.
What are the many wrinkles in a mere
chants forehead9 Trademarks.
What composer is most noted Of modern
tinesl Chloroform.
What is better than to give credit to
whom it is due? Give the cash.
Which is the most moral musical instru'
ment2 An upright piano.
What is the political character of water
wheel? Revolutionary.
Why is a girl like an arrow! She is in
culver till her beau comes