Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1891-04-03

lions She was never known 10 fail.
She'd eNpend upon lion all H." 'n'r9, "t
Gihhun. and To her u sri'l" threading
would transform the lac" ct ''aN
Ia |! e ART of w"r'Hu dressing She was great
!.-. LItNrr >>iuH. hut She bought hri
i.ui, :. uocklic and ir tainted dead away
-tlutlicr aud futnslcr +
Charity begins at home. hut reform
is different. - HiShHgton PoSt.
Opening pool-room is beginning |
OF better thing. NcT orleans hrd- |
yG}1c.
For that tired feeling" it might lac
good to take rest from patent mcdi- ,
sine>. Puck.
How many men begin on cake and
have to finally come down to bread
.hchiSoR G}obc.
There never wa, a crank born that a
shrcwd worker didn't turn it 10 his
own uses. ashland Press.
The dude has his greatest swing in !
society when the hammock season ar
rives.-NtW orleans ltcGynne.
1t is all right for some people TO he
right. but the way some of them are
right is horrid. -htciiSon Globc.
Every man has fool streak; it is
only matter of giving him oppor
tunity to show it.-d',hiSon Globe.
There are four varieties in society
tho lovers, The ambitious. observers.
aud fools. The fools are happiest.
Tumc.
Put not your trust in riches" but
there's no objection to your putting
your riches in trusts lonkers States
man.
VA, his address of any value?"
Yes. indeed" said Mrs. Spriggins.
MY husband said it was very voluble."
Uarper's Ba=dr.
A Nevada forest is said to be SO vast
and impenetrable that many travellers
have been lost in mere contemplation of
it.--dnericdn Grocer.
Fadman-"The paper SAYS the speak
er spoke in rapt voice" Fangle-
'Ah. see! Sort of mutfled tones
Dry Goods Chronicle.
Clevertou-"Do YOU ever expect to
become engaged to Miss Summit"
Dashaway (doubtfully-"If my dress
suit holds out. Ciothier
Razzle-'Did YOU notice how many
new clothes Robinson has?" Dazzle
Yes. That's the only way he can
stave off his tailor. Clothter.
so You had your clothes made by
Worth? Did you get a good ftp" NO!
My husband will have the fit when the
bill comes ."-Licerpooi Post.
Teacher-'Don't be discouraged,
children. if you were not perfect to-
dan, Tie cry of Columbus was not
laid in one day Fiiegende Biatter.
Il bought donkey yesterday. just
for fun" remarked Gurley. Well"
replied Gazzam. that's remarkable
instance of self-possession. Harper's
Bazaar.
There has been q tide in the affairs
of many a young woman which rolled
by and left her on the shore. because
she said No" when she meant Yes"
Dallas Ncus
why do you cut out the lambs
trachea?" asked the professor Of
''Majah" Jones. Because" said the
Majah, Il want to get ut the baa facts
Of the matter. "-Ashiand Press.
Foreign Visitor-"I see it stated that
public interest in baseball is decln-
ing" American Host (sadly)-"Ifear
it is. ! haven't seen an umpire mob
bed this season."-N. \. Weekly
Miss Antique is delirious The
doctor says ii is the result of great
joy." What caused it?" The census
taker asked her il there were any other
young ladies in the house. y Boston
Herald
81.
licensed physician In town curing peo-
pie right and left" Second Doctor
Curing people? Good graciousi We
must have him arrested. ~ y
Weekly.
Bagley--'E Have you recovered from
your recent sickness. Bailey" Bailey
NO. not fully" Bagiey-'.Why.
you look rs we'll as ever" Bailey
Yes. hut owe the doctor els YETI
N. j. Ledger.
Tommy-"Say. paw, what Is a phil
osopher?" MIR. Figg-"A philosopher
Tommy. Is man who sits around and
figures out how other men have 30 much
more money than he has."-7srre
Hunte Express.
Mudge-"You don't catch me getting
up with the lark any more" Yabs-
1ey-'That's what I said. I tried Il
one day last week and every one met
thought had been out on q bat
Tere Hamte Express.
II Is astonishing how n little mind
will hold out. A female Gend whom
we know has been giving piece Of her
mind to most every body for forty years.
and yet the original plant remains. -
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
Tommy-"Pa, what does tact mean?"
Papa-"lt means. my son. the ability
which woman has Of spongiug money
from her husband 80 that he can never
find enough In his pocket to buy cigar
or pay car fare. Boston Herald
Its enough to kind OF sour man
on human nature" said the tramp.
''when you stop to consider how often
you're called lazy because you won't
do 75-cent job Mt sawin' wood for
Lucent breakfast. " Washington Post.
How does your husband spend bis
time eveningse" He stays at home
and thinks up schemes to make money"
And what do you do with yourself
when he Is thus occupiedP" %, l
think up schemes to spend II. "--Epoch.
1T was the next thing to a railroad
accident that deprived me OF my
lover" said Miss Antic. my back hair
fell of. and he knew that / had de-
ceived him." Those misplaced
switches are dreadful things. "-Epoch.
Mrs. Slimdiet-"So you have placed
yourself under the care of physician
who reduces superfuous neshs Did he
recommend any special dIet?n New
Boarder-'No. madam. He simply
recommended your boarding house. y
~ y Weekly
Calico-"I sec Brown has invented a
machine for the scarf trade. called the
tramp II counts the ties YOU
known Cashmere but the
name hoodooed it from the start. I
hear. Nobody can make 1t work.
Dry Goods Chronicle.
II was Horatio who. abiding to his
(Hamlet's father.) first observed to
Hamlet, Can you match this shadcp"
Not invoice. certainly" replied the
Dane uneasily. rs the ghosts followed
tones came gurgling up through the
sod.-Dry Goods Chronicle.
Servant answering belly My
master isn't In. sir. You may leave
the bill II you wish" Caller Gin sur
prise)-''Billp I have no bill-wish
to Servant Tin surprise also)-