The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1891-03-28
WENT FOR ALL IN SIGHT.

going down town now
Mr.. Plunger-Im going down after
little.
Citizen-I thought you usually went
there after a good deal Munseys
Weekly.
MR.. AND MRS. q.
Winkle-Eh. How is this, Binkle
I've heard you say many time that every
man should be master in his own house;
but-ha! ha!-old boy, you don't seem
to be master here.
Binkle (sheepishlyl-This is my wifes
house. New York Weekly.
RESPONSIVE AUDIENCE.
Rawley-Why. Curtin, how is it you
were not tirst-nighter at your own
play?
Curtin-I was too nervous. Are you
just from the theater!
Rawley-Yes.
Curtin-Did my pathetic scenes bring
any tears9
Rawley-Yes; the people in the house
laughed till they cried Munsey's
Weekly.
i
DR.. Pillsbury-Wel. Mr.. Sceptic, did
you follow my prescriptions
Sceptic-No: if had would have
broken my neck.
DR.. PilIsbury Why, what do you
mean
Sceptic-I threw the prescriptions out
the window. Chicago America.
HARD TO FIND.
First Astronomer-Is there any men:
ton of comets in the Mckinley bill
Second A,tronomer-l don't know.
Why?
First Astronomer They seem to be IN
usually scarce and high.-[New YORK.
Weekly.
THE GIRL WHO sNUGGLEs.
She-George, you are bundle of in.
consistencies
George Why. what do you meant
What have done,
She-All last summer at the beach ysu
gave me nothing but gas; now you be-
come economical and want it turned
down!-INew York Herald.
LOOKING FORWARD.
Tommy is very hard on shoes and
trousers. His mother understands this,
and governs herself accordingly when
she goes shopping.
One day, while out with another lady,
she was buying cloth for a pair of panta.
looms for Tommy. and ordered good
deal more THAI seemed necessary.
why do you get so much?" asked
her friend.
'Oh,' was the reply, "ths is for re-
served seats "--I Youths Companion.
HIS NEIGHBOURS.
Victim-See here. sir! When you sold
me those lots you said they were in good
neighborhood, and l find they are sur.
rounded by livery barns.
Real Estate Dealer Certainly. It IL
the best neigh-borhood / know of.
NOT WHAT WAS EXPECTED.
swell. Kenniboy, whom do you lover
asked X anniboy's father.
After moment of deep thought the
answer came.
''Kenniboy," he said. Harper's
Young People
THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE PLACE.
Will PutOugh- Cutaway, who is that
nice clerical looking old gentleman thai
called around Yesterday with a statement
of my account?
Cutawav tthc tailor)-That is PROBES.
sOr Mustee, the famous collector of an.
tiquities. ! have just engaged him.
Puck.
1T WEIGHED ON HIS MIND.
Mrs. Magnus Scott-If 1 tell my has
band to perform some unusual GRAND il
worries him SO much that he can't get il
out of his head
Mrs. Billsdoo-I have noticed the same
thing in my husband. Only yesterday
ordered load Of wood, and during hi,
sleep last night he frequently exclaimed
Lets have another dollars worth oil
chips. u American Stationcr.
THE GIRL ON HORSEBACK.
Bessie Ito horse dealer)-I thought YOU
told me that that saddle horse | bought
would take in the bit without the slight
est troubled
Dealer-Well. doesn't he9
Bessie-No, he doesn't he! held the
bride right up to his nose, and clucked
several times; but the ugly thing never
made a move!
A REASONABLE WISH
81 wish Uncle Sam would coin moaey
'ut of aluminium" said the tailor, as hl
presented his bill for the fifth time and