Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-01-19

large dog. which was fastened in kennel
under the window, threatened 10 raise
m alarm, but few words from Agnes
quoted him. | clambcred up tho vine
aud was soon lt her side. was 10 hnp.
py that the grapevine might have been
the ladder 20 paradise. Agnes was for
giving and lovely, and we converted for
half an hour without thought Of tho
lower world.
was calmly gazing nj the farm which
would soon be my own when heard the
door open. Upon turning saw the OBJ
noxious brother standing In tho door.
way, with n very suspicious whip In his
hand. Ilo looked angry. and I imme.
diately comprchonded his purpose II
was not In human nature 10 remain
quiet, and when he sprang toward me
with an angry howl answered with
yell. aud springing through the window
began slipping down tho vine.
lwould no doubt have made master.
ly retreat, but was but few feet from
the top when the brother cut the faston.
ings with his knife, and the vino and
myself fell together. Unfortunately
dropped upon the roof " the kennel.
The roof, not being able to hold showers
OF fallen humanity, gave way. and
tuInblcd directly into tho jaws Of tho
bulldog. The jaws, with howl. fast
cncd upon my leg. and for n moment
there was a terrible battle between US.
At last the dog unfnstcncd to take a
fresh bite, and took advantage for the
moment 10 get away. but my enemy
again fastened upon my coat tails, and
ns could not drag dog and kennel over
the fence was unable to move.
Tho dog pulled one way and I tho
other, and for while the issue was very
doubtful, but | caught glimpse Of ono
Of the farm labOfcri advancing with
pitchforlt and gave u desperate Jerk. 1t
was too much for the strongest Of cloth.
and, leaving tho torn portion In the dogs
possession, bounded away toward tho
barnyard fence. But discovered In time
that was charging upon tho couched
piichforlg Of tho servant, and. turning
quickly to the right, took u hyi~g leap
over the garden wall. Unlucldly ut
tempted TO fly without wings; my feet
caught In tho stones and l turned u
somcrault into tho garden.
Instead OF falling upon tho grass |
divod hcadforcnost into straw bee.
hive. The beehive went over on the
ground and followed. but tho bees
wcro the lnt TO pick themselves up
aud when arose upon my feet there
was u whole colony ready to sottle upon
me.
They swarmcd in my hair. and crawiod
under my clothing until was frantic.
The more | stamped and beat and
fayed. the more they stung me. At last
gave q stamp Of tremendous force; my
tight patent feathers burst, and just ~
my feet pro.ruded at tho sides stepped
In tho overturned hive. might as well
have stepped In tho fire, the little tor.
mentors stung my feet. and danced
like a bear upon hot plates and for the
same reason.
was still wildly beating the air, when
perceived all tho farm servants, whom
my shouts had arouscd. charging Ia q
body. They shouted "Thief," and -four
ished thor weapons and began TO think
OF leaving that neighborhood In hurry.
But was determined upon revenge. |
could not DO stung any worso than
was; 10 | graspcd tho hive that stood
upon tho bench and hurled II into tho
crowd. had the pleasure Of seeing IL
drop upon tho brothers head like n huge
hat, and 10 SEQ the individual throw II
OIL and roll upon tho ground in anguish
mover derived 10 much pleasure from
hearing person swear before.
could hear my pursucra breathing
hard near me, and expected every mo.
mcnt TO feel tho spikes Of tho pitchfork
behind, when | stumbled over n stono
and fell hcadlong into the river. Tho
men behind. unable TO checl; themselves.
followed. and tho next moment We wero
all struggling in tho water.
1t was not deep, and was tho host accl.
dent tina, could have happened to me, as
| II rid me Of the bees. soon arose aud
scrambled up the steep bank. where |
stood to look around. In ono place
head appeared above the water: In an.
other pair Of feet kicked In tho mir.
without any visible owner. Hats. pitch.
forks and men were mixed In "a confused
heap. while all plunged aud pulled like
shoal Of porpoises. Although was
smarting with pain tho scene was too
ludicrous 10 DO gazed on with sober
coun,enance. and | laughed until could
roar no longer.
But when reached my rooms did
not feel No well. knew that had lost
Agnes forever, besides tho heavy sum
for the gig and tho now suit, My face
was swcllcd for many days, and conld
not leave the house. To DO sure, some
Of the neighbos had witnessed tho
battle. and when 1t was shown how Ihad
punished them was quite hero among
my friends. Praise, however. did not
replace tho missing money, and Agnes
would not speak 20 mo In the street
So was wretchod.
am now u confirmed bachelor, and
look with thankful heart upon tho
chaos Of bootiacks and boots In my room
witho the least desire to change my
condition. look upon all widows as
attractive destroyon, and my experience
has been such as to confirm my hatred Of
the sex. OF course all who think diff.
ferent are welcome 10 DO fcttered. but II
was 10 choose between hanging and
winning a widow | would select tho
least Of the evils, and patroni the ex-
eoulioner. Agnes is still widow, and
her brother Is married and hear, with
grim satisfaction, that no Ia henpeckod
New York World.