Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1891-01-13
BACH CLUB GOSSIP.


"Augus.a nov has a. fine hotel service
,hink as any city of its sizs in this coun-
try" The speaker was q member Of the
LEGISLATURE sni friend of the Doctors
aud that's Why we had him with us the
other evening
You NAV be assured that these remarks
fram such a sonrce caused q sensation.
Not but what everybody knew il was tue
but all were so accustomed to the bienpisl
plant about poor hotel accommodations
lat the statement wss to us at lesst q novel
one guess the gentleman saw the look
of surprise on cur faces for he added, ''Oh
kaow I'm taking contrary to precedent
but it's true nevertheless ''Of course
it's true said Sandy, "and wsns to shake
hands with You
Now don't misunderstood me-" added
the gentleman. II don't mean to say
that there aren't plenty here who
look upon rs as q lawful prey but those
are no; having the patronage that they
once did, OF course if man goes into q
nice boarding house for few weeks he
must expect to pay more than were he to
remain there a elk months and then the
hosts put on 8 somewhat more lavish air
during the session and person expects to
pay little extra for tome
You may say whatever you please about
fancy prices and French menus but / can
tell you that in all my life / never came
scross the superlativelys aesthetic landlord
but once and that was about twenty years
ago not far from where Denver now is"
and we all now knew that the Colonel was
to favor US with story.
1.-The inmates of our stage coach were
informed by hieroQlyphical lettered sign
that the rudely constructed log hut before
which we had stopped was the Occidental
Caravansary' and we were soon introduced
to the landlord who wore cowhide boots
into which his belted pants we're tucked.
TIE rest Of his makeup was Of the dreamy
sort novel readers expect to find, check
shirt, Buffalo Bill hat, revolver, etc.
"Gentlemen.' said be, as ne shook hands
with each one of US, ALLOW me to welcome
you to this hospitable hostelry. The bridge
is gone ct the river below and you can't get
over till 1t is fixed some time tomorrow.
You will abide Sith me and with you, and
you bet we'll share and share alike in all
we've got il ~e have to cut punkin. We
are far out, but you shsn's find us way of
Step right up this port cochere slab plat
form and don't stop TO use the scraper
follow me through this portal slab door
to which the latch string is never out of fix,
unless it happens to be drawn in; step RICH;
up TO this ornate counter board on two
barrels aud place your royal names upon
this accommodating register medical
memorandum book while 1 call our
caterers attention. Sal, get grub for
four
Now. my lords, please step out into the
lavstorv tine whole wide world and pro-
coed to perform your sblutions in uncon-
tsminated water dipped from the creek in
vessels Of the purest plated ware [tin bs-
sins and there sre the frescoed napkins
Tpieces Of former rabIecottl on that rack
wooden plug]. Now, please walk in.
There il the mirror northeast corner of
small looking glassl and comb [too shy to
show its teethl.
sit up here By the register, friends
stove clear out of doors1, for the evening
zephyrs are chilly, and take the frost out
Of your feet. But first, gents, stroll into
the bar-room dry good box and take u
supper invisorator mountain avalanche
What, water? Gum. it'll take all the taste
GU.
THE goBg (spoon raped on Crock
sounds, your recreation is ready; come over
into the dining-room (southeast corner OF
roam and take chairs Sawed 0h logs) Of
the table de hote (two slabs on trestlesl,
Excuse cur menu, 1t is not printed yet. but
you see before you the bill of fare (old
baeon, corn bread. homipy, mackerel, ard
chicory Coffee; the terrapin and oyster:
haven't got here Ia be in season vet. No
toasts, gentleman, are permitted at the
table; you must sdjcarn to the bar for them
and the speeches. Gents, don't be spaTins
with the napkins (our Inadvertently they
seem to be plentiful
Later on, a. we were tired, we intimstetl
a desire TO retire early. Said the landlord
Wait till light the chandelier [tallow
candle in block of wood |, as the gas is ali
out. Now. come up the elevator ladder in
corner don't stumble and fall up stairs.
Select your own rooms gentlemen beds all
in one room, divided by chalk marks and
dent ovefbalsnce yourselves ana fall
agsips. the partitions or you'll disturb, your
neizhbsr. Repair TO your downy couches
stray ticks on planks]; just manipulate
this electric aruuucia;or on the floor q trap
door if you want anything, bus don's mske
q misstep aud tumble down with the mes
sage. Good night
The next morniug we found the landlord
vas a great reader of high. tone d low. priced
novels. and bad got onto the swing.
AT O'Clock we &C. of with our lives"
II never could think the more fashion
able the hotel the more enjoyable the
meal" said The Senator. "a Washington
friend of mine told the following that hap
peBed to him in swell cafe at the capital
And which don't doubt in the least" He
was taking his luncheon in eomfor. and
qaie,, With wsschfal waiter eyeing him
insiserenuy from across the room. He
was surprised 10 see the manager of the
pisce aurriediy take the waiter by the arm,
Turn him about. and order HIM 10 get bis
coat ani hat a. once aud el ar out
Il stopped bin in time be explained to
lae diner in sn apologize way. 'foa saw
what he was doings
Looking at me. flsuppose was the
snsser.
'Ab, but the express sion in bis eyes; did
you observe tast?' ~
No ss
Zee 'Msis. m'sigu. the waiter vac taking your
picture
] Was. for, prsys n
.Por the art gallery o:the Walters club, ,
the naasger added seriously.
Why in tie world would they wan: my
picture ia the Walters ciub:'
All, tees long story. You see, m'sisu,
you are very libs.si in teess. The waiter
be have one of those aetee.lf camera in his
vaistsoat. ZIP. aad ke have your picture.
The photographer he eni.gs the portrait,
saa m'.isa is Put upon the wall Of the
Waters club in the Ninth avenue. ;
Every waiter in the first class restaurant
c5me 10 thu clap and look at is. Ha, ha,
m'sien ees bon gareon: he give teep en-
prince. He remember your face, and
y hen he get chxuca TO serve you-well,
you will have no cause to eompisin.'
That's all very rice; but suppose I'm
rot boa gAreon AID don't tip en- prircs.-'
Mon Dieu." said the manager, with 4
merry laugh. that ees Why discharged
Tie waiter. See? They have more than
one wall at the Walters club in the Ninth