The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1891-06-24
Pleasantries.

"PAPA," said Maude, softly, "did George
oall on you to-day" Yes. He called
about o'clock, and he was very i'll. Must
have had chill. Shook so | sent him home
in a carriage. "-New York Sun.
Mrs. CUMso; "The Schuylkill runs
through Philadelphia, doesn't it?' Cumso:
Nothing runs through Philadelphia, my
dear. The Schuylkill meanders sleepily
through the town,"-Nei0 York Continent.
A GEORGIA editor, who is also a real es-
tate agent, a building and loan association
director, an attorney-at-law, clerk of the
town council and pastor of the village
church, was recently called upon to per-
form the marriage ceremony. He was in 4
great hurry; in fact, the couple surprised
him in the middle of heavy editorial on
the tariff. "Time is money" said he with
out looking up from his work DO you
want her?' The man said yes. " And do
you want him?" The girl stammered an
affirmative. Man and Wife" cried the
editor. lone dollar. Bring me load OF
wood for it-one-third pine, balance oak. -
atlanta Constitution
IT was an evening school in Providence,
Il. l. There was class of restless, dirty
newsboys and bootblacks on the front seat,
trying to see how little they could study
and how much they could annoy the teacher.
Finally the teacher called up the class and
put them through the catechism on United
States history. "Who discovered Amer
ica?" Nobody seemed to know, and the
teacher, a long-suifering student from the
university, lost his patience. Shutting his
book with a bang, he dismissed the class
with these sarcastic remarks: "Well, when
one of you boys gets to the point where
he needs to have some one vote for him
as governor or president, he will be
ashamed to think he doesn't know who dis
covered America" One OF the wickedest-
looking of the boys raised his grimy paw
well, Tom, what is it?m know, who
discovered America" Why didn't you
tell, them" asked the teacher, sharply;
" Cos didn't want TO tell all ! know, SAID
Tom, while the class went on int9 roar u,
The teacher called up the advanced Grass III
snelling and there was smile on his face
the rest of the evening. -Boston Herald
IN, ona If the locals was a pert-looking
youne lady, evidently Just returning nome
fron, Collage. They went TO Troy by way
~ ~ IT, hriSge. When the train rumbled
VI one tba fridge and passed Greenbush,
~ festiye trainman banged open the door,
.Iooad his hand in position at his mouth
I'D called, loud enough to wake the dead
an aIe = th ~ AS he finished, the pretty miss
beckoned him toward her with most en-
chanting smile. He looked rather dumb
fomnded, but went "Will you kindly tell
me- what you said, sr?" asked she. Ger
tainly, miss; / said Bath" he replied.
" oh, did you? Why, 1t did not sound bit
like it,. Are you suffering from throat
trouble?" No, miss, not that | know Of"
The train moved on. AS it rolled into the
station, Iron Works, the trainman again
rushed in and howled " Iii-rn W'rks, " and
slammed the door with a fearful bang. AS
he came through the car the miss again
called him. "What was that you said?"
she asked, in a sweetlvoice. 81 said Iron
Works." he replied, uneasily. "Oh, thank
you so sorry to trouble you" replied she.
At the next station the trainman came in,
shut the door softly, and pronounced the
name perfectly. He cast triumphant look
in the fair maids direction and left the car
1t is said that he can now be understood by
passengers. The maid reformed him.
Albany Argus.