The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-29
BRIGHT BITS.

A MINNEAPOLIS MAN, hearing the preacher
refer TO ''St. Paul, chief of the Apostles"
wanted TO know where Minneapolis came in
Teras Siftin0s.
Two coNBATANTs, arrested for throwing kero-
sene on each other, explained TO the Judge that
they were simply operating in the oil exchange.
-IeTds S0ttngs.
THE SHoPKEEPER-My landlord has raised the
rent on me.
His Friend-Have hun arrested for shoplift-
ng.-St Joseph AelcS.
MISS PALIsADE-We rather expected you at
the church trimming, Mr.. Cleverton
Cleverton-Oh, I'm not much of a hand at
flirting. Brooklyn Life
HEELER-Don't you think deserve govern
ment 1obg
Statesman-Yes, ! do. You ought to be max
ing stoves at Sing Sing.-Patck.
"THAr CAT" remarked Quantity. pointing to
Maltese feline licking one OF its young, re
minds me of popular German beverage; it's
a malt ticker, you know. Boston Courier
Mr.. GuzzLEToN-Yo seemed to be much
moved by the performance.
Mrs. Guzzleton-Not so much as you were.
You moved out at the end of every act Judge.
CULpRIT-Please your honor. only had one
Justice-Ten days more for trying to deceive
| the court. l used to be in the saloon business
myself.-Puck.
It's very cold day when the most of men
And the quicker the older they get
| Who think for while what chumps they've
been,
Can't soon get into a sweat.
oil City Blizzard.
THERE are not so many great orators now as
there used to be, perhaps but every man who
! is in the habit of getting home late at night
| knows that oratory is by no means lost art
SomerutHe Journal.
II CAN not permit it" said the mistress; you
must rot bring strangers into the kitchen"
Strangers? Why. Mr.. Locust's not a strangeri
I knew him before he got on the police force"
Philadelphia Tunes.
BoRRowIT-Thst's rather swell boarding
house you are stopping at, CARLETON.
Gazzleton-Why, yes. tried cheaper one,
but | couldn't afford it. fell away so that |
| Bazaar
II wonder why blind snake was selected to
bite Sarah Bernhard when she plays Cleo
| patra, remarked Mrs Ransom.
Because no one would expect snake with
eyesight to bite bone" replied Ransom.-Chi-
cd0o Inter Ocean.
BARKINs-Smithers is lazy. He is industrious
/ by fits and starts.
Harxins- Smithers has fits and starts of in
dustry only-thats what Barkins says.
Larkins-Harkins tells me that Esrkins told
| him that Smithers has fits.-Ney York Herald.
"oH, PAPA you are too good. This diamond
| belt is a poem"
"Bets Why, my dear girl, I bought that for
i ueCkldCo!
You dear old soul How did you ever expect
| me to get that little thing aroung my neck?"-
Life.
1T SEEMS" said an old-fashioned lady to the
very modern girl. that there are a good many
bluffs in the part of the country where the In
dian fights took place"
Yes" replied the NJ. g., confidently, ''but
our soldiers called them right along Washing
| ton Post.
sHE-How changed Mr.. Banks is He is SO
| moody and dreamy, and he used to pride him.
self on being so practical and business like and
couldn't Tolerate anybody who wasn't.
| He-Yes. He wrote aud proposed to young
| lady the other day on his Office paper, and she
| declined him on a postal card.-Judge.
A FRENCH PHYSICIAN has declared in favor of
good cry" He says that groaning and cry
| ing during a surgical operation brings down the
| pulse and benefits the patient When a man
has refused his wife S25 or $50 for shopping, a
| good cry has brought down her husband, if
not her pulse, and she is correspondingy bene-
| fted-NoTTlStotga Herald.