The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-12-08
sUNFlowER sILHoUETTEs.

| IeCbuFerS IN Kansas QOH0 10 thirty.
Everything in Kansas is on a high moral
/! plane. Even the thermometer seldom
gets low down.
The two lady directors from Kansas,
Mrs. Hanback, and Mrs. Mitchell, are op-
posed to keeping the worlds fair open on
Sunday.
The French say that the grape fruit was
the forbidden fruit" of Eden. The marks
of Ewes teeth can be seen near where the
stem joins the fruit.
OF course the Alliance still has lots OF
members in Kansas. But the majority OF
the remnant are threatening TO leave it un-
less they get the nomination for governor.
| Il do business on large SCALE" said a
man from a small Sumner county town.
whose personal appearance belied his
words. weigh loads OF hay, you know"
| DR.. w L. Chaliss, administrator of the
| late Col. John A. Martin, has offered the
Atchison Champion, Col. Martins old
paper. for sale. The paper is held at
$4,000
A schoolmistress in Smith county, who is
teaching an eight months term, is under
written contract. sealed, signed and de-
livered. that she will Eot marry during
| that time.
Judge Bashore has declared his first ju-
dicial opinion. He has selected woman
stenographer for his court because, he ar
CUES, a woman in that position keeps the
bar on their dignity.
Every man in position, or near to it, has
an opinion on the next governor OF Kan
sas, and Is he not, SO far weather-vane?
d. 0. McCray, the executive clerk of Gov
ernor Humphrey, favors E. n. Morrill,.
During the trial of Mrs. Friley, at To-
peka, few days ago, District Attorney
Ady said that the widows of soldiers
would be all right if so many of them did
not give up a sl2 pension for s. man.
Melbourne and Dryenforth have both
passed into oblivion as frauds, and the
only true rainmaker, besides Providence.
Kansas has ever had, the sprinkling. cart
man, drives up his horses with renewed
spirit.
Just as John Otis, congressman from
Topeka, boarded the train for Washing
ton. somebody pulled him by the arm. II
can't talk now" the congressman said,
''the train is moving" But it is impor-
tant," urged the other. But can't wait
now" cried Otis, wire me- by the next
mail"
Don't you Think said the Alliance
due collector who found a farmer break
ing some new prairie for wheat land, that
you farmers pay too much attention to
the plow?" Probably" answered the
farmer, with a twinkle in his eye and a
crack of his whip for the horses. you
are not the first man to observe that we
are running it in the ground"
They were in the gallery Of the senate
yesterday and the visitor had just leveled
the opera glasses on PETER. ''Great
heavensp' he exclaimed, II always was an
admirer of John j. Ingalls,, and had heard
that Kansas had sent small man In his
place. but did not expect thisF' Il beg
your pardon" said the guide, looking up
in surprise, "but you have the glasses
turned around and are looking through
the small end"
The story has been told on nearly every
old soldier, and it is now being told on
George r. Peck: Mr.. Peck was prisoner
and there was to be an exchange. The
Union officer proceeded with the exchange
quietly until Peck appeared. He was ter
ribly ragged and dirty, and the officer re-
fused to trade good man for him.
Finally the matter was compromised and
the government gave an old mule in ex-
change for the gentleman who is now the
most prominent lawyer in the west.
Now, them" asked the teacher, chow
many bones are there in the human
body?"
1.-Two hundred and twenty-six," they all
cried.
Right" said the teacher; land which
Is the most important?
This was sumner and the whole class
remained silent. Finally the teacher,
hoping to help them out, asked: Now,
Johnny, what does your father dor"
He's politician at topeka, ma'am."
Then it struck the whole class at once
and they shouted as one child: "The jaw
bone, of course"
Last Saturday man named Collins, "a
years old, living halt mile from Frank
fort, Marshall county, went out to the
wood pile and cut all the toes off his right
foot with an axe. His mother took the axe
away from him and hid it, but he found / t
later in the day and cut all the toes off his
left foot. Again his mother hid the axe,
but the young man found it agai and cut
a finger off his left hand before his m other
caught him, He seems to be perfectly
sane. The doctor asked him why be had
mutilated himself, to which Collins
replied: None of your business"
Rules in the house Of representatives at
Washington are strict. The crowd is not
allowed on the floor. There is a public
gallery for them. Yesterday the assistant
sargeant-at-arms spotted seedy, simple
looking individual, and stepping up to
him said: You will have to get off the
floor"
The man looked innocent.
"Clear out, L say" snapped out the
assistant
But, I'm congressman"
From Kansas, suppose"
Yes sir"
"Oh you can't play that game on me.
There are fourteen shabby looking fellows
in here today passing off as Kansas con-
gressmen and that state has only got
seven. Pm no spring chicken You'll
find the exit to your right"
OKLAHOMA OUrLINEa
1t took three days to get the Terrill jury.
There are hundred cases OF the grip In
Guthrie.