The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-07-08
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doctors"
A year ago Kansas was elanoring fol
deep water. It has it this yer.
Sam Wood viii do the Alliance more
good dead. than he could alive.
Everybody on the Kansas farm is well
informed. Even the fences are posted.
1t is not true that Mr. Lease does not
hold his own. He has baby on his lap
most of the time.
The heroes in the old novels used toturn
away in anger. The new books have him
turn away at the ice cream freezer.
Item from Kansas weekly: Jack
Jones broke his arm, Tuesday, by falling
from a cornstalk while gathering roasting
ears"
The Century Magazine for September
will contain an article on Country News
papers" by E. W. Howe, of the Atchison
Globe.
There is always money for the man
who has the tact to get it. 4 man could
make money in Kansas right now enlarg-
| ing cisterns.
Ex-senator ingalls, recently drew COM
parison between himself and Jay Gould.
He has always left it to Others, however,
to compare him with Massilon.
As for the outcome of the next election
for governor, Farmer Smith and ex-Con-
gresham Morrill, are very likely to ex-
claim with Poe, Never Moore"
Since the advent of the Alliance orator
the old sign "No Shooting Here" on the
fence post of the farm has the addition in
smaller letters, This Applies to the
Mouth"
The eastern hotels will be interested in
| learning that Mrs. PETER found sixteen
different napkins in her husbands pockets
after his return from the recent sojourn in
the east.
Senator PETER is going to see that the
whole nation has cause for calamity
howl. He announces that he himself will
visit every state in the Union before the
! year is over.
The people of Neosho Falls have some
queer notions. They paid Jerry Simpson
500 to make their Fourth of July speech.
One hundred dollars in frecrackers would
| have made much louder noise.
| A Wichita doctor who wants to estab-
lish reputation for liberality has a tree
full of green apples near the fence IN his
| ward with a placard stuck up In the
branches: Come in, boys, and get all you
want"
A funny man dropped into the office
Yesterday, and after looking at the Their
mometer and wiping the perspiration from
his brow, remarked that snow rubbed on
the affected part would cure Prostitutes.
There is no use talking" said an ALI
ance orator in a respondent way yester-
day, "this Alliance movement is busted" "
It is a great year. every COW in Kan
sas has calf every mare colt and all the
women twin"
The announcement is semi-officially
made that Jerry Simpson has moved his
family and effects to Holton, his former
home 1t is said that he has an idea that
he will be qualified for Plumb's place IN
the senate before it is vacant.
The prisoners in the state penitentiary
are very much exercised over the eight
hour law If it is enforced, they will have
to remain in their cells sixteen hours out
of every twenty-four. They would rather
do ANYTHING than be locked up in their
cells.
81 am too tired to read them things to-
night" said the farmer fresh from the
fields to his wife, who had handed him
some Alliance tracts late from the mail,
but put them somewhere where they will
be handy when l klndle the fire in the
morning"
John J. ingalls, has in his possession the
clock which kept time in the United
States senate from 1910 to 1890. Last
year the clock acted badly, and Mr. Ed
munds moved that a new one be pur-
chased. The old one was given to Mr..
Ingalls,, the presiding officer.
A story from Web. Wilder: When the7
Kansas legislators met in joint session to
elect a senator it was very trying
moment for Andy Felt, the presiding
officer. To make matters worse, the bell
on the Catholic church began to toll
Felt's nerves were all unstrung; ingalls,
was soon to be defeated; the Republican
party in a minority, and the bell still
tolling. Felt turned to Speaker Elder to
say a word while the Alliance chaplain |
offered prayer: you must find this a
difficult body to preside over" Elder: ut |
is the damnedest lot of Texas steers ever |
corralled. But I'll dehorn 'em before the |
winter is over" Lieutenant Governor |
Felt had no more trouble about his |
nerves, and was as smiling as PETER when |
the balloting was over.
A county politician in Sumner the other |
day crossed over field TO where the |
proprietor of the farm was feeding |
a threshing machine He was about TO
accost the yeoman, when this sign, stuck |
up in the top of the threshing machine,
caught his .eye: This wheat will prob
ably make twenty-five bushels to the acre.
Yes, believe the Alliance is busted. be-
lieve free coinage is Il good thing Yes,
our tariff is too high. l like Jim Blaine. J
Yes, think he'll make a good candidate.
Yes, the sub-treasury scheme is all bosh.
Don't believe that Botkin killed Sam
Wood. Don't want any pension. Don't
care if Mrs. Lease is poisoned. You'll find
the pump on the back porch with dipper
chained to it. The old woman is in the
kitchen putting up preserves. Better not
say anything to her or she'll spring an
other sign just like this on you. Sorry |
haven't time to talk with you. Good day"
And the demagogue walked away.
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The kaiser, having been made aware
of the agitation among extreme Sabbath
rians in England in opposition to his