The Opelousas courier., 1891-07-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A darkness that may be felt-A black
hat.
The disinherited son is punished with
a will.
eve meet but to part as the cont
sand to the brush.
The royal chef does things to the
Queens taste.-PHtsbury Post.
1t takes a very prompt man to be
hero to his tailor.-NeU York Herald.
The lobster is not noted for its BASH
fulness; but it turns red on getting into
shot water. "-Puck.
1t is an odd thing that the temperate
zone contains the hardest drinkers or the
lace Of the earth.-Puek.
81 say, Bill"(shouting to another sales
man), ttgot any more of those diamond
necklaces for 81. 49?'-LJe.
A fpEetty woman and a philosopher are
both apt to be enamored of their own re-
dections.-hdGnapolis Journal.
The value of compliment lies in its
placing. "Heart of oak" is more pleas
.ntly received than "wooden head
Puck.
"sweet nothingst" he exclaimed soft
", as he looked at the 0row of ciphers
after the figure on the check Kashjng-
ton Post.
ssI'm going to write an immortal
poem" "What's your reeipe2" 'In-
aellble ink on asbestos paper. '-Nuasey's
Weekly.
So many people have the look on their
faces as if they had been allowed m
last strike at something and missed it,
Atchison Globe.
When a tramp is fortunate enough to
get hold of the upper portion of a roasted
fowl he generally makes a clean breast of
lt.-Ieras Sytings.
Parrott-"How many great titles end
in sor'-Emperor, legislator, editor -"
Virgins (who lives in alat)-ttYes, and
janitor ."-Harper's Basar.
With the same finger with which she
has just dashed a tear from her eye a
woman artfully arranges a stray lock of
hair on her temple.-Fsega4da Blaetter.
MAN wants but little here below"
That's all quite true, and yet,
I'd like to see the man that won't
Take all that he can get.
Life.
Mr.. Jones Gas the grizzly draws up on
him9-"Oh! why can't I remember
whether it's a grizzly or a brown bear
that can't climb a tree2"-Haroard Lam
p0on.
"What do you do with that baseball
mask2" "Why, Johnny is very bad
sometimes, and the only closet I have to
shut him up in is where the preserves
are safe."-Harper's Basgr.
On four seats of a railway car,
Amidst his traps. the drummer sat,
And wished he had but one seat more
In which to place his high silk hat.
Puck.
One of England's advantages: 81 do
SO love England, said De Peyster ecstat-
ically. 4sWhat do you so like about it2n
asked Brouthers. "It's so English"
returned De Peyster.-Bvo5yn Life.
ssNature rarely wastes, but sometimes
she does," said Mehitabel at the circus.
ttLook at the elephant, for instance.
Two tails practically, and yet with a
hide impervious to flies. "-New York
Sun.
The milk of human kindness
Is a gift supreme;
But our impecunious friend
Always wants the cream.
~ Puck.
"What is the deepest depth Of igno-
rancea" asked the philosopher, rnusingly
and the man of the world made haste
to answer lit is the Ignorance displayed
by a railway official when there has been
a wreck on his roads,. Joseph NeDs.
Aunt Ann-ssHow can you be content
to waste your time reading these trashy
novelist just listen to this: They
sat hand in hand, SPECIFICS with the
sweet intoxieation of first love. Intoxi-
cation of first love! BAIL" Laura
"But, auntie, it must have been due to
their ardent spirits. Jup-
nal.
A little ive-year-old Irish boy in one
of our public schools was reproved by
his teacher for some mischief. He was
about to deny his fault, when she said:
81 saw you, Jerry" "Yes," he replied,
as quick as a flash, 81 tells thin there
amt much yous don't see wild thin purity
black eyes Of yourn." That was the soft
answer that turned away wrath; for what
lady could resist so graceful a compli-
ment?-HWpsr's Koaag People.