Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1891-07-04
CELIBATE OR BENEDICT.
PECULIARlTlES OF CHARACTER MEN
DEVELOP AFTER THE KNOT is TIED.

A Philosopher In Petticoats Dissects
the Man Married and Exposes His
FauIts-Advicc to Girls About to Take
Chance In the Matrim onial Lottery.
Trying to please everyone is not only
lost, but deliberately thrown up art;
different people having totally different
tastes. The smile that dispatches one
into the seventh heaven of delight will
bring contemptuous sneer over the
countenance of a surlier neighbor. The
man who can adapt his manners to suit
two men of opposite tastes would, per-
haps, make a good valet if his master
could take time to watch him. There is
only one thing more difficult in the
world than to please a collection of
mixed types of people, and that is to
please ones husband.
AS a rule-making allowances for the
usual three, or several, exceptions-a
married man is discontented man, and
often as selfish as only the higher ami
mails can be. The lover who sighed like
a furnace" over his sweetheart's celestial
ness, after the fatal leap in the dark,
develops into private groaner The
realization of his dreams is as disappoint-
ing az the first glimpse of the Niagara
Falls, but as the grandeur of these
mighty cataracts grows on ones mind,
the resemblance most emphatically ends
here. 1t is not the feeling of possession
that sits so heavily on his soul; it is the
feeling of being possessed by another.
Now is the time to balance up and check
over with himself his own virtues. Be-
fore marriage his leisure hours were
taken up in keeping long lists of new
beauties (about SO to the minute) of that
once only wonderful woman on record,
whom marriage has diminished 100 per
cent, more or less. The lover who had
not the slightest doubt, was positively
certain, that Mary was an improvement
on the sex, when he makes his debut
into the sea of matrimony straightway
drifts into an architectural mood, and
commences remodeling his wife on the
plan of-any other woman, and verbally
rehearses into his wife's ears specifca-
tions for her particular edification and
improvement. The little peculiarties
which he thought so attractive in the
days of sprngtime and courtship are
now thorns in his side. In company
with his friends, he mentally hopes and
prays that these now doubtfully charm
ing mannerisms will not reflect against
his untarnished refinement and good
taste. If she makes pleasant impress
sion on his friends, and does not shock
them or bore them, he perhaps makes up
his mind to bestow on her husbandly
kiss as he gets the chance; or else, what
is quite probable, an insane jealousy of
his wife awakens with a renewal Of con-
1idence in his own Judgment.
But any man would endure a limited
amount of physical pain rather than in
cur the sympathy of his neighbors on his
foolish draw in the lottery of lotteries.
For few weeks after marriage there
still may be noticed few traces of the
olden time compliments, which are al
ways so dear to them foolish wimin
fox, " but the interrogative note that ac-
companies them is responded to by
smothered little sigh in many wife's
heart
What woman can smile sweetly as she
listens to her husbands criticism of her,
unless she has the happy faculty or
knack of deafening her ears whenever
she likes, and can recall, at moments
notice, vivid fancy picture or descrip-
ton of herself which her lover once dedi-
'ated in tears to her then superior high
less, arousing in her sensations of de-
ighted pride, second best to nothing in
he world?
And now 1 would say to the women
Who recognize certain traits of their own
husbands in this article, on the differ
cnces between the celibate and the mar
red man, since to please your husbands
rlone is almost out of the question, the
next best thing is to please him by
pleasing yourselves. "How?" you will
ask. A sensible woman must never
make herself miserable by sitting down
and brooding over the thought that she
has left more love behind her than the
present or the future will ever bring.
She must steer against exaggerating her
wrongs" and always try to be cheerful
She must take for granted that life was
never intended to be one long honey
noon for her. She must get quickly
used to the matrimonial dialogue, " the
husbands part of which is so frequently
punctuated with explanatory and de-
cIamatory addresses to the residents of
The places above the earth and sometimes
to the residents Of the places beneath the
earth, whichever the case may be. She
must always tell herself-impress it thor
oughly on her mind-that she still loves
her husband. That is the secret of re-
manning comparatively happy woman.
A woman should not interpret every ap-
parently disagreeable remark literally.
She must not lose faith in the sweet
thought that instead of having that unde-
sirable possession, a grumbling husband,
she is really only in the possession of
mild prevaricator. A woman must cul-
tivate her capacity for making excuses
for her husband, if she would be happy
herself.
Never insist upon the irrefutability of
the proofs OF your opinions as against his
if you do not want sore head for your
husband, and at the same time help to de-
velop in him qualities which are sure to
make him ii most uncomfortable partner
in the government of domestic life. A
woman who can prove facts to be facts
is neither a desirable nor a companion
able wife to live with. At least this is
the silent verdict of most men, though
they would all strenuously deny that they
were not open to conviction from any
source, and, of course, ETC., etc. All
wives have heard these declarations of
Ill