The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-06
QUESTION AND ANSWER.

The "sly question is often extremely
effective. Sheridan, who was always dis
tressed for money, was one day hacking his
face with dull razor, when he turned to
his eldest son and said:
Tom, If you open any more oysters
with my razor I'll cut you off with shill-
ing"
VERY well, father" said Tom, 'but
where will you get the shilling?"
At dinner party in England the host
introduces to the favorable notice of the
company amid murmurs of admiration q
splendid truf1ed pheasant.
Isn't it heauty% he says. sd )ctor So
and-So gave it to me; killed it himself"
"Aw-what was he treating it fora" says
one Of the guests.
"a smart answer" is quite as good when
unprecedented.
81 could write like Shakespeare if 1 had a
mind to" said Wordsworth to Lamb.
'YeS, if you had mind tor was Elias
quick reply.
do you see anything ridiculous in this
wig" said pompous little judge to Cur
ran.
Nothing but the head ;" was the reply.
The ''quirkish reason" is nearly allied to
these.
And Able Boileau being asked why he
always wrote in Latin, took pinch of snuff
and answered gravely.
"Why, for fear the bishops should read
men
Sheridan gave rather a shrewd intima-
ton to splnster who insisted upon accom-
panying him in walk after a summer
shower.
1T has cleared up enough for one, madam,
but not enough for two"
The dusty hyperbole" suggests one Incl
dent in the lite OF the elder Adams. Hav-
ing grown corpulent in his old age, and
adverse to exercise, his physician advised
him to ride on horseback. He consented to
do so. Accordingly. large, lofty trotter
was led to the door, and the venerable ex-
President mounted He rode down the
avenue to the street at a smart trot, then
wheeled and returned. Being asked If he
did not intend to ride any further, he re-
piled
mo! l would as soon ride Mount Ararat
in an earthquake"
"a crafty Wrestling of obvious matter to
the purpose" is illustrated by Burke's witty
response to DR.. Robertson, who apologized
for DR.. Johnson's jokes-''like the rebukes
Of the righteous, which are like excellent
OIL
"Oil" said Burke. yes, oil of vitriol."
IRONY AND BLUNTNEss.
Diogenes indulged in start irony" when.
observing over tie door of tbs schoolroom
this inscription: LET no deceiver enter
here" he quietly asked: ''How does the
teacher go in"
Almost all of DR.. Johnson's witticisms
come under the head of 'presumptuous
bluntness."
One of his rough repartees has been put in
rhyme by Peter Pindar:
In Lincolnshire lady showed our friend
A grotto that she wished him to commend.
Quoth she: How cool in summer this abode -
Yes, madam answered Johnson, for a tondr'
For startling metaphor" take Sydney
Smiths. when he saw a little girl suoop
down and stroke the she'll of turtle
why are you doing that, Belief" he
asked.
ITO please the turtle"
my child. you might as we'll stroke the
dome Of St Pauls to please the dean and
chapter"
will give one instance of the ever ready
wit of DR.. Barrow himself Nesting the
Earl of Rochester one day the witty peer
exclaimed: Doctor. l am yours to the
shoe-tle," to which the clergyman replied
my lord, am yours to the ground" The
peer continued: Doctor, l am yours to the
center" my lord" retorted the doctor.
II am yours TO the Antipodes" Deter,
mined not t. be outdone by the parson, his
lordship said: doctor, | am yours to the
lowest pit OF hell" On which Barrow
turned on his heel and said: And there
my lord leave you" True wit, combined
with reproof.
l hope in reading this brief illustration OF
long definition, you may not be reminded
Of Douglas Jerrold's retort to a would-be
wit who, having fred off all his stale Jokes
with no effect, exclaimed:
why. you never laugh when l say 6
good thing"
Don't l." said Jerrold. "Only try me
with onep'