The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1891-01-23
A Snade is a shade!


been written about the Force bill and
,he present situation at Washington,
and the dying and almost defunct old
party, and its traitorous,
reckless and grasping leaders, but
Henri Watterson, of the Courier
Journal, the Prince Rupert of jour
naIism, eclipses the effort of all others
and handles the subject after the fol-
lowing fashion:
The situation at Washington is
unique and picturesque, but 1T Is very
the Democrats. Itought
to be SO to all good citizens. w mem
ever body of professional poiltlclahs
falls into the state represented oy the
Republicans in both Houses OF Con
gress, the disinterested people, with
ont regard to political autecedents,
should unite in repudiating leader-
ship so incompetent and unpatriotlc.
In the Senate we see a senile mailg-
nant elevated to chiefhOOd, though
walIOwing in blatant ignorance ana
sectional malignity, whilst a meio-
dramatic sensatiOnalisG enllVenS the
proceedings by baying at the moon OF
agrarianism; and nobody TO put an
eXtinguisher over the one, or TO muZ-
ZIe the other. In the House we mo
our poor old Falstaff of last season,
immersed aud humbled, but still TAT
and greasy, letting II dare not" be
hnIlY. wait upon II would" and
nowise helped by Mr.. Bardolph
Lodge, who ought, when he dieN, to
be stuffed and set up as a scare-crow
for all future literary Adventures In
politics. Not the obscenity OF Can
| non, the Illinois harlequin, nor the
rodomontade OF Henderson, the Iowa
shorter, can help the Speaker out OF
the ditch he so carefully dug for him.
self. Whichever way he turns
Il "He'Il be dam'd if he does;
He'll be dam'd if he don't"
and whichever way he retreats, lie
hits a snag Injins of the upper roa :
and death-but the reader knows The
rest. So does the Speaker. so &c
thew all, and, presently, it will b,
every rat to his hole, and each rat Ioi
himself, the devil, as usual, to get the
hindmOst.
There was a New Jersey farme
hired an ex-Irish sailor for Prov
: man, He was put in command oil
spike-team, consisting of two oxei
and a little mule they called jimmy
in the lead. OF course Pat kne"
nothing about blowing. Toward IN
middle of the afternoon he came run
ming to the farmhouse and caiilEt
ont 2. Arran! master! Come right on
a into tnp field! Shure the dlVlIs L
, paw! The lairboard OK is on the STAR
board side, an Jinny's' afoul O. til
riggin,' an they're all drlftln' L
j damnation as fast as they can go.
That is exactly the present nix OF III
r Republicans at Washington.
"When thieves fall out" says th
adage, and echo answers, LOOK q
QUAY look at Hoar; look at Ingalls,
Z; and look over into the House at Ton
rom, the piper's son, who didn't eve
get away with his pig" The Venel
able statesman from Vermont ma
! rub that red nose of his. 1t Will
d no good. Whom the Gods mean l
.. destroy, whisky will not save.
The time has come round again IL
calling q spade a spade. The gran
odd party is between hell and the Iroi
works. There is no other simile thu
fits its case The narrow slip OF tel
ritory supposed to lie between til
devil and the deep sea is an oasis |
n the desert in comparison with I'll
IS rocky promontory that juts out int
20 the waves of flame which surge upo
the Mckinley rolling mill on one SID
II and seeth and hiss amid the lnfern'
!, depths of the Force Bill on the oth'
: side. The gentle showers of Recipr'
II city will not descend TO slake I'll
II burning thirst of the faithful. A ver
al deluge of free silver will not suffice
Ie paw them out. For there stands Il!
g little gentleman, who staggers b
meath the load of his grandfather
'e hat, a veritabIe Lilliputian Plut
N stirring up the fires of death with
d veto, which is just long enough to
10 terrible to his imps, and not lOl
enough to reach any body else. 1t
the Republican dies irae. The day
II wrath has come; the day of doom
m lust ahead. The old thing is going
10 pieces. Whilst it lived, it lived
81 clover. Let us hope its death will
It painless, as we sing:
rs "Mary had little lamb,
" But where is Mary nOw?"