River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-09
PlTH AND POINT.


-Spatts-"Let me tell you what I
know" Hunker-s.Go ahead. Ii won't
take SO long as to tell what You don't
know."-West Shore.
What a wheelman most breads is
rising ground, especially the kind that
rises mp and strikes him on the top of
the head.-Detroit Free Press.
And His Friends Pretend to Believe
It.-Tom-"Phil is only a pretender."
Jack = What are his pretensions?"
TOm-"He pretends he is man."
Ward why did You bite that dol
lar Won loaned me-to see if it was
goOd?" Randall-.I wasn't biting it;
i was kissing it good-by."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Where is Blivins?" ale went to
Europe, and hear took Paris green"
"What, Committed suicide?" No.
He took Paris as green as any American
could take it."-Light.
Worse and Worse.-Mr. White
wings-''Say, hear you've been cali
in me a fool Uncle Pete-''I didn't
call yer a fool amt 10 sech fool
rs ter say eberyting l thinks. N. y.
Continent.
Ambiguous. Sharpson - Hear
about our friend Ham? Drew the sl0,-
600 prize in lottery last week and has
gone into the cigar business. Lucky
stroke. wasn't it, Phlatz-"Yes. One
actor less
Wife Ito her husband. who is writ
+ ing note of invitation to a dinner)-
+ "Now. Karl, don't forget TO invite Prof.
I Warzig He is so very ugly that the
+ very sight of him viii spoil the appe-
( tite of all the other guests Schlei-
+ sische Zeitung.
/ Enough to Cry For Sprigson, who
has a poultry-keeping neighbor, sag If
the latter's rooster is a descendant OF
the one that made Peter weep when he
crowed he doesn't wonder that poor
Peter wept bitterly when ne heard him
Yankee Blade.
II feel like a wood-pile after a hard
winter Your honor" he murmured, as
+ he rose from the bench and faced his
accusers. 'How's that" kindly inquired
+ the Judge. "All used up. your honor
''Sixty days to recuperate, smiled the
court, ana it came to pass.
II was pleased to call that cake of
yours perfect symphony, as you may
remember" said young Mr.. Fits, about
two hours after dinner. well, dear?"
al want to revise the expression; ! feel
now as though had swallowed whole
Wagnerian opera. indianapolis Jour
nal.
-Diaphanous Clothing. Tom-"Say,
Gus. know man in this town who is
50 sensitive that he would not be seen
on the public streets in his working
clothes" Gus-''Who is he? What
does he do? Tom lie is the assistant
down at - Turkish bath establish
ment. Lowell Citizen.
I'd be glad to have you marry
/ Harold. my dear" said Ethels father.
gravely. IF thought he was a young
man of pertinacity. ! do not think he
has what we call sticlatitiveness."
''Oh. yes. he has. lie proposed nine
times before | accepted him, returned
Ethel.-Tarper's Bazaar.
-Dashawav-'I have an old coat I
think You might wear, Uncle Jasper"
Uncle Jasper-''Ise obliged, sab. Is
dat coat a sack? | amt got much use
for a tan coat san lidSiidWdA - W N.Y.
what's the matter with tail coat,
uncle?" Uncle Jasper-"Um! Mighty
unhandy, sab. getting over fences. =
Clothier and Furnisher.
And Jennie Blushed.-Old Gentle
raan-'Where is that book called
'Dont?' Anyone lSnOw?' Bobby-"I
think it is IN the parlor. You were
reading it last night to Mr.. Spoondyke,
weren't you, ,Jennie?" Jennie-''Why
no, Bobby. Why. do you think 500"
/ Bobby" Cause | heard You saying
] Don't a good many times. Boston
Herald.
Tie Eiffcl hat for evening wear;
The youth who huns the score;
/ The nervous chump who kicks your chair
But the most annoying. altitudinous
and colossal nuisance is the ehattering
idiot. male or female, who keeps mp a
chatter of rapid conversation right
through the three acts, and who il
without doubt
The most unmitigated bore
Washington Post.