The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-09-02
PITH AND POINT.

Herd in confdence-Tame DEER
Puck.
Appointed to fill a vacancy--Your
dining tsble.-Pues.
The bounded man usually goes to tho
dogs.-Pats6urg Post.
Birds never quarrel over difference
Of pinion. n.-1onkers Gazette.
Occasionally the wisest owl hoot at
the wrong time-Atch;sen Globe.
A lounge is sometimes used in tho
beds stead.-Binghamton Republican. !.
It takes the yellows to give the peach
growers the blues. Baltimore Amierioaa.
The modern girl often longs for such
q Boaz Ruth had.-Biaghamton Repub.
Rcan. j
Always forgive your enemies--espe-i
cially those you can't whip. Teas
Sytsags.
Hunger may sharpen the wits, but il,
puts vicious wire.edge on the temper
PUCK. ...' -
"When work I frequently playf5
'"What is your busiuess2" ''1'm fres
man."-Yanhee Blade. ..... =
There are people who get credit for
being good simply because they have
poor health.-Rams Horn.
A paradox-That the horse in the
tread.mill should keep on straight aheads
and yet be always turning.
When men soy ''short accounts make
long friends" they do not refer to bank
accounts.-.Neu York Herald.
A life-size picture of the penitentiary
should be kept in the. Office of every
State Treasurer. r.-Gal0eston Necs.
The New York murderer thinks thai
"electrocution" is not only poor word
but tough sentence. Chicago Times.
The man who hasn't the capacity to
attend to his own business always finds
others to do it for him. Galutston Neua
The sports of children may satisfy the
child, but they usually spread wave OF
discomfort through the whole neighbor'
hood.-Puck.
The pickpocket is living example Of
the truth that in order to succeed in ite
one should keep in touch with his tel!
lows.-Boston Courier. i
she-ssDon't you sing7 Why, how
stupid of you'll" He-"If you'd ever
heard me you'd think it was everlasting
smart of me. ."-We,t Shore. :
The quickest way to convince person
of the accuracy of the Darwinian theory
is to show him a summer boy with his
hair clipped.-BinQhamton Republican.
Two men looked at branch Of bay,
And both for fame did itch;
Fate gave to one the crown OF leaves
The other got the switch.
> There are said to be nearly six thou.
sand pieces in a modern locomotives.
peclally when the engineer fails to see
the rear lights on the train ahead
Chicago Post.
If YOU will but notice it, there are
more learned fools in this world than
ignorant ones; or is it because they have
better facilities for exhibiting their fool
ishness?-Boston Transcript.
Briton-"If you are such rampant
American I should think you would re-
main where Americans are most appre.j
ciated." American-''I do-in London;
and Paris. ."-Kate Fields Washington.
he slipped the ring upon her hand,
And kissed his bonny bride; 80,
And the strains Of the same OLD Weddln8
march
Went outward with the tied: ::
4 An actor makes real love to a pretty
girl in private life. "Dearest, love.
YOU de7otedlY. Iimplore you to listen
to me-I-I-I-goodness gracious,
where's the prompter9"-Fliegends Blast1
ter.
Miss Summit-"Have you heard the.
dreadful news about Miss Ringsters Yes.
terday she jumped out of three story
window and killed herself" Miss Fan.
sade-"Oh, isn't that awful9 What dld
she have on9"-Cloak ReOielo.
William the Wanderer (at the kitchen
window, shifting the delicious odor of
the cooking dinner)-"Beauteous maid,
smell" The Cook-'I knowye do;
an if yor dvn't go away from here I'll!
put the boord sv hilth on yer. ."--Jury.
Probably the hardest, most trying
thing which can befa!l anyone in this
world is the endeavor to decipher the /
important memoranda he has jotted
down with such confidence of being able
to read right of when he wants to use
them.-Boston Transcript.
A member of the Fire Brigade Com
mittee of the County Council at the Guild
hall banquet observed to neighborlng
Alderman: 1.-THE acoustics are very bad
in this hall" '.Really!" replies the lat
ter. "You surprise me. can't smell
ANYTHING r."-London Truth.
$50 you mustered up courage and
called upon her last nights" 81 did"
"Did she seem pleaseda" ITO tell the
truth, I was so nervous that didn't no.,
tice, but guess she was pleased, for as
I got UP to 60 I saw that she looked
very happy. ."-Me1 York Press. 4