The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-10-29
WIT AND HUMOR.

NduuOE oOCob hCSOSoihohS tASHo'Af,
on other peoples corns--Aew fors
Herald.
Women may not be deep thinkers.
but they are generally clothes observ-
ers.-7eras Sytimgs.
Nobody complains of the failure of
hanlton Republican.
A biscuit trust is the latest in the
field. 1t threatens TO be regular
upper crust affair.-RocheSter Post.
Il think | mistook my calling said
the young man when his opponent laid
down four aces. Washington Star.
A bonnet covered with birds does
not sing. but it makes a man whistle
when the bill comes in.-1eras Sitt-
ingS.
The inventor of the Waterbury watch
died-which reminds one. somehow,
of a winding sheet. - Philadelphia
Ledger.
AMY hear you are engaged
again. Mabel?n Mabel - Yes; |
signed Il new iiance last night. Pits
burg Chronicle.
In China the men buy their wives.
and in this country the wife often dis
covers that she has been sold.-Balti-
moro american.
Il am lord of the foul and the
brute might have been written of the
prize-tight referee, but it wasn't.-Ia-
diandp0Lis J0,rSal.
1t is no wonder that the spring
chicken can boast of large crop when
he takes everything in by the peck
Baltimore american.
She-"Yes poor old lido has got so
old he has lost his voice" He-''Why
don't you give him Peruvian bark?n-
Minneapolis Journal.
Don't wait until your life is in dam
ger before you pray. You will botch
the job unless YOU have had previous
practice. Nartha's Vineyard Herald.
There goes spanking team" re-
marked Willie Brown to Tommy Jones
as the two boys mothers walked down
the street together. -Butaio Express.
Adams-"W ell, Jones, been getting
drunk again?'' Jones (angrily)-
That's my business" Adams (pleas-
antly)-"So understand. "-LJe's Ca
Tend r.
Poverty-stricken Suitor-'.Be mine,
Amanda, and | will treat you like IN
angelo" Amanda-'I should think so!
Nothing to eat. and still less to wear.
Not mer'-Figaro.
1t is said that in the japanese lam
guage there is no word for kiss. In
japan, therefore, while kissing may be
common. it is impossible to kiss and
tell.-Bost0n Transcript.
Jimmy Briggs-'I wish my big Sis
ter was Il brother. A sister amt no
fun at ALL" Tommy Figs Amt?
Wy. have my sister cryin' mad most
every day. "-Indtan1polis JourNa.
If YOU will but notice it, there are
more learned fools in this world than
ignorant ones; or is it beclu they
have better facilities for exhibiting
their foOlishness?-B Boston Transcript.
Bachelor-''Fred, how would you
define love letter." Benedict-"A
love letter is thing that ten years
afterward you generally wish you
hadn't written" -Fhitadeiphia Record.
Well" said Adam, as the gate
snapped behind them. this makes our
wedding trip regular" What makes
it regularly pouted Eve. I'VE are
going via the Falls. n-NeaC York Her
aid.
Uncle Josh-"Wh hats that thing?n
City Nephew-''That's sprinKling
cart" Uncle Josh-'It don't seem to
be sprinkling much." City Nephew
Wait till it gets to a crossing. "-G0od
Nca0S.
Wife-'rOlr little Willie ought to
have white flannel suit to wear at the
seashorc. dear" Husband - Then
why don't you send my old one out
| and have it washed?' = CiOthier and
Furnisher.
THAT composition of yours is truly
Wagneran. Where did you get the
idea?" My boy exploded Il giant
cracker and pack of ordinary crack
ers in my upright piano last Fourth OF
July. "-Ep0ch.
Claim Agent-"And on what ground
do you claim penson!" Applicant
My feelings were wounded bv the
recruiting officer who rejected me be-
cause of physical imperfections." "
Buffalo Express.
Gentleman-'I never had such a
perfect polish on these boots us YOU
have given them Western Hotel
Porter (modeslly)-'I used TO be a
private soldier in the regular army."-
Ne'0 York Weekly.
First Statesman-''How is the Off
clai investigation into those Doodle
charges coming on?" Second States
man. 'Splendidly. spendidly. We've
succeeded in not finding out thing"
-NeO York Weekly.
How tender-hearted Judge
Bigsley is" Potts-"Yes?n Watts
Yes. There was boy up before
him yesterday who cried for only half
an hour. and the Judge let him have
ten days. "-Llida,aapotiS Journal
One occasionally reads of the discov-
cry of the petrilicd remains of human
beings. Is this to be taken as indicat-
ing that there may have been those in
days of yore who succeeded in making
themselves solid?-DetroH Free Press.
Shade of Croek-"An old pal of
mine Is in trouble in New York"
Satan-That's all right. I'll look after
HIM when | go up tomorrow. You
know l have pull with both the
police aud the Aldermen.-Ne York
Herald
The irst thing man does on reach
ing the rural regions is TO loudly rhap-
sodize over the beauty aud purity of
untrammeled nature. The next is to
start back 10 town. "where there is
some fun going on indianapolis
Journal.
Yes. the ceremony has been per-
formed and John aud Mary are one"
Indeed? Which one?n Well" an
swercd the father of the bride. from
what know of Mary's mother should
say-but ali! here she comes. Detroit
Free Press