The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-09
puelire Is Not Yet pefunot.

Republican editors have fresh provocatiou
to froth at the mouth aud howl carnage.
Dueling seems to be again lifting its CORY
head 10 the world. Only last week there
were three several exciting conflicts. in
which the dead were not counted aud no
prisoners taken.
At Paris a real count fought for his own
wife, aud was actually shot. But ne and
she are both recovering.
Two Virginia editors breathed instanta-
neous destruction at one another, but did
not get together. Possibly the railroads re-
fused TO pass them. Much of the hilarity
and happiness of life is more or less mod
flied by just such heartless conduct,
Then there was a slaughtering bee be-
tween two western women whl ignored
the habitual and Trustworthy rolling pin and
went at ca other with butcher knives.
Their touch and execution" were said to be
powerful and impressive in the extreme.
Within the brief whet of four seconds and
also quarter one woman slashed open a
prominent section Of her adve sary's bust,
from which gushed in prodigal profusiol the
warm sawdust Of life in large gushes An
other dexterous slash swept away her pat
ent eyebrows and amputated large area
of radantly healthy complexion.
While this was transporting the other
fierce combatant plunged her trusty blade
into particularly fac hip aud liberated
ferocious hurrah beside laying bare in the
gaping wound something less than seven
bales Of extra No. cotton batting. After sew
eralsavage plunges she also struck rib-in
a corset, tore of wad of false hair, bit her
tongue, ripped out a shrek, stabbed the
atmosphere several times, severed large
red cloak button, spit out squad OF store
teeth and fractured four grammatical
sentences.
Both ladies were greatly FRUSTRATED by
exposure. Also by stopping upon each
others wad of chewing gum. Both suffer
great pain and modification. But they are
said to feel much better since they were ex-
tricated from their shattered raiment Some
of the more lacera cd portions are said to
be beyond medical skill, aud will have to be
amputated just where they begin.
This all happened In a common country
kitchen, and 1t is darkly limited that, unsat-
isfed with the pervading atmosphere OF
TeeklnB carriage, one woman sc f191 to
smutty but contiguous hook and, snatching
therefrom the terrible weapon, blackened
the two eyes Of her crlnging antagonist
with one fell swat of q cold skillet. 1t vas
most exquisitely dreadful, but it seemed to
SCOT them both all over. Goaded to mad
ness by such savagery the other woman
naturally took frantic revenge, as that
was the handiest 1t seems that there was
homemade pie perilously near at that
momentous juncture in the colloquy.
All of this tends to accentuAte from four
to six things:
Dueling is not wholly defunct.
Sometimes man fights in a laudable
cause by mistake.
DC asonally railrosd actually averts a
catastrophe with gore on it.
Woman is not always so softly submissive
as she is sometimes represented by senti-
mentalisis who are somewhat soft them
sci es.
Furthermore, when callers call, invite
them into the wood-shed where there is moth
ing laying around more fatal than a dull ak
or billet of incombustibly big cord wood.
Keep away from the deadly domain OF the
kitchen. That course will sustain longevity.
Also APPETITE and good neighbors.