The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1891-10-22
A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
How the Old Man and the Old Woman Settle a Family
Row Without a Loss of Life.

peculiar interest and has given rise to
considerable discussion both for and
against this time-honored custom.
Like all other questions much can be
said on both sides, but the fact that it is
a custom which has been practiced and
endorsed, in on form Or another, in all
ages and by all people, goes to show that
. there is something in it besides the empty
formality of a social fad.
Just where or how the custom of max
ing presents originated is of no conse-
quence here-it dates back beyond any
thing of which we have record and is
lost in the mists of unwritten tradition.
And not only On occasion of marriages
were these souvenirs thought essential,
but on birthdays and holidays and ami
versaries and all other days a common
joy was supposed to find expression in
such tokens.
The son of COP himself was O con-
sidered beyond the pale Of this delicate
fattery, and the first thing the wise men
did ON hearing of the birth. of the Mes
siah was to bring him gifts-"gold,
frankincense and myrrh'-and by this
means prove their recognition and allie
glance.
Nations which desire friendly relations
with another preface their requests by
presents, and if these are received the
compact is sealed and all is smooth sail
ing.
The giving of presents is an instinct
rather than the result of civilization.
The savage on his native shore, if he
likes you and desires your favor will give
you a string of glass beads or some other
crudely wrought specimen Of his handi-
craft. g
The law presumes that the man who
accepts a present is under obligation to
the donor, and for that reason the Presi-
dent of the United States cannot accept
anything, except his office, at the hands
of his constituents.
But this is not to the point, you will
say? What has all this to do with the
subject? 1t is the wedding present, its
uses and abuses, which I am supposed to
defend.
Well, the wedding present, like all
other presents, is simply an expression
of a sentiments sentiment which
prompts us to rejoice at a friends good
fortune, real or imaginary, and to COM
memorate the event by something more
tangible than words, something that can
be kept through all the years as a sweet
reminder, just as the good Catholic wears
his ~crucifx to keep the story of a Savior's
love ever present with him.
That the custom, in these latter days
of greed and gain, is perverted and
abused, none will deny. But the fact
that it is, is no argument against it, AS
well say that all marriages were failures
because some of the individual fragments
which constitute the human race got
mixed in the shuttle and found themselves
imperfectly adjusted. Men and women
marry and are given in marriage every
day in the year solely for the fortune, po-
sition or other advantages which such a
union ~will.bring them. Yet the number
who enter the holy estate purely through
affection and honest esteem are not to be
judged.
In the olden days a marriage was a
much greater event and attended with
far greater ceremony than in this pro-
gressive, practical and prosaic nineteenth
century. Nothing in those times was
thought too good for the wedding feast
of the humblest peasant The bridal robe
and real orange blossoms were there-it
was an occasion of general merry making
and the young couple set u on their
journey with. the silver lining outside
and a good general receipt for keeping
the cloud turned that way. To encour-
age young men to marry, kings granted
special privileges to such subjects, and
friends, as now, gave them God speed in
such a manner as pleased them best.
When a young man or woman, and
especially the latter, gives up home and
all that the name implies, around which
cling the tender associations and early in
1uences which have shaped her life, to
enter upon an untried existence, to take
upon herself new obligations, to change,
more often than not, her thoughts and
habits and personality itself, to cross the
bounds from which there is mo back
ward path and no returning" she needs
all the sympathy and loving assurances
which kindred and friends can give her.
How to express this interest and good
wishes then becomes aquestien. Mere
congratulations either written or p O
ken seem cold and empty. The note
sooner or later finds its way to the waste
basket and lights the kitchen chimney
some rainy day when its pages have
grown yellow with age and the writer
dead or f~nrp0ttau