The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-29
HE CAN SHAVE HIMSELF.
A Young Brokers Pride In the
Achievement, Which Re-
quired Years.
Ho Spilled Some Blood and 6lashed
His Neck, Face and
Ankle.
Longing for Freedom From the Thrall-
domo OF His Harder Was h Sole
Inspiration.

II have learned to shave myself quite
satisfactorily " said a young broker to a
, New York Times man the other day. He
had just finished an excellent luncheon. He
rubbed his smooth-shaven chin and seemed
to feel triumphant. II am quite proud of
the achievement, too. 1t is true that it
took me about seven years to master the
art. but it is also true that during that
time ] spilled a good deal of blood. l not
only cut my face with regularity. but l
slashed myself in the back Of the neck
several times. made painful gashes in
the ends of my fingers, and l recall that on
n occasion, by a mysterious combination
of unfortunate circumstances l took a slice
from my left ankle.
'sIo questions by my Office associates as
to how I received SO many wounds ! merely
replied that I was learning TO shave and
paid no attention to their gibes. They
finally let me alone, except on the rare oc-
casions when ] appeared unscathed, and
then they inquired if l was feeling real
we'll. My mother and sisters were seriously
alarmed for my personal appearance. But
l persevered, the cuts healed up, and
now | may say that l am about as nearly
perfect as | could wish to be in the use of
a razor.
"Aiy motive in learning to shave.'' con-
tinued the broker. "sprang from a longing
for release from the tyranny of BARRIERS.
helpless slave. They thumpeG me and
scraped me, and, above all, they talked to
me. l determined to become my own bar
Der. ! was also actuated By the considera-
ton of expense. | figured that BARRIERS
cost me about 800 a year in money. This,
I poAnNka1 x-,,, I'd v,p1 wOh n q a M nv yIff1n ortI
cles. i would help pay my cigar bill, and
It would pay for two, perhaps three, COM
Portable suppers.
Somewhat to my surprise, when / an
nounced my determination to my barber,
he offered no objection. ] had postponed
telling him several times, fearing his high
displeasure. But he exhibited none. l
dimly recall now that. as he turned away to
get some lather, an expression of SORROW,
evidently due to the loss of so
tive a customer, passed over his face. But
it was zone when he looked at me again,
get as much money out of mo as he
could while he had me. merely al
lowed him to inflict upon me all OF the
operations in the knowledge of a barber,
und ] bought from him personally two
raznrs. He said that they were his best
and declared he would have parted with
them to no other man in the world. ID
handed them to me when the boss was
looking out of the window. The boss he
said, would discharge him If he heard OF
the sale. He charged me for them eight
times the amount they were worth. though
he convinced me that was obtaining ONE ONE
thing that money alone could not buy. The
balance of my outfit ! bought from the pro-
,prietor of the shop. also at ruinous prices.
II thought I was free then. i will re-
member this l said to myself as | went
home, AS my emancipation day. l thought
II ~vyn,.tA .r.,~ -Hs,. 4 ~ vhn hsnrN
except to have my hair trimmed. That
would only be at long intervals. PTeTna-
ture badness is peculiar to our family and
my bald spot was already we'll developed.
/ bought q diminutive safe, into which l
intended to drop twenty-five cents every
time | shaved.
my beard resisted my early efforts te-
naciously. After a few weeks / concluded
that my razors were becoming dull. ! gave
them to a razor sharpener who hauntS
downtown Offices. He said that he might
possibly put an edge on them. but that they
were of inferior quality and practically,
worthless. He sold me a pair at goo
prices, which he said were two Of
the best razoIs be had ever seen, and he
had seen a good many. He wanted to
know what sort of a strop l used, and
when l described mine he declared
it to be no good at all. bought one from
him, which he swore would put an edge on
a cobblestone. He also sold me a patent
lather brush, which afterward became bald
a great deal faster than l did. My beard
continued obdurate. Ny complexion was
on the high road to ruin. l blamed the
razors. MY eQotism kept me from the
knowledge that my trouble was due to my
inexperience and awkwardness. / had cut
my strops, in my fits of niger at cutting
my face, so that they could not be used.
II concluded to allow my beard to grow
until my face healed, and took all of my
razors-they numbered about a dozen by
that time-to a barber. a stranger. After a
irrelevant statement that he had once
shaved the emperor of Germany, he de-
livered a long lecture in broken Ger
man on the care of razors, which l
did not understand at all. But he
sold me two more raZors at what he called
So, which he said would cost ANYBODY else
~, and a bottle of expensive toilet water
which would cure my face in six minutes
He proposed to teach me to use the strop
for $3.50 to anybody else-and that even
ing struggled him into my rooms and took
lessons.
1.-THE benefit of this trying experience be-
gan to come to me about three months ago.
l suddenly and without apparent reason
attained experiences. Now ] am happy.
The financial part did not turn out quite as
l expected. My equipment was very ex-
pensive.
How about the fund you were to start?'
he was asked.
"When that had amounted to about $780,
answered the broker, II invested it in some
fine old Bourbon. A servant at our house
dropped the case containing the bottles
down an elevator shaft-five stories. It
was a total loss. l charged myself nothing
for shaving thereafter"
Science Overcomes Deafness.
just now the medical world is engaged in
discussing the new device for deafness
called sound disc. No invention of late
has attracted SO much interest among the
medical profession. Its perfection, which
ia now a established fact, has resulted in
the overthrow of many pet theories of there