The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1891-11-21
Newly Married Couples Cannot Hide,

Newly Married Couples Cannot Hide
l was once hurrying to New York
to give reading and in boarding {
drawing-room car was shown into
q compartment where there was {
newly-married couple-they didn'
tell me SO, but they were as covered
with signs as a big office building
The groom, when I got in slid of
to one end of a seat, and the bride
pretended to take a nap at the other
neither of them looked squarely al
me, but both put on such reproach-
full faces that l shrank into a corner
and misery encompassed me ike
an ulster three sizes too large. !
couldn't stand that sort OF thing
long, so made bold to remark:
"This reminds me-
"Eh? ?" interrupted the new-mown
husband, while the bride at once
showed that she hadn't been within
300 miles of nap.
"This reminds me of the last
time I came over the road and got
on at this station, and was shown
into this very car. There was a
Young married couple on board
not young married folks who had
been married two or three years,
like you, but who'd been married
that very day, and they felt very un-
comfortable about it; they seemed
to think every one on board knew
it, and they didn't miss it much, for
they gave themselves away. In
stead of sitting a good way apart,
like you two, they squeezed as close
together as they could"
1.-THE silly thing !" said the bride,
while her husband drew her toward
him; put his arm around her and
said:
'They acted just like this, I'll be
bound"
"That's it as far as it goes" said
|, "but you've been married so long
that you've forgotten some of it.
If your wife were to put her head
on your shoulder, nowhere i
just as if it were the softest pillow
in the wogld, you'd about hit it. I de-
clare! It's too bad to have been
married so long as you and have
forgotten some Of the symptoms.
This hypocritical speech put those
two young people so completely at
their ease that they treated me as if
I were one of the family, and they
wanted the rest of the story.
ooh, there isn't much more of it
except that whispered to them, as
soon as some other folks who were
in the compartment got off, that if
they liked they might divert sus-
picion by making believe l was their
little boy who had been to boarding
school and had met them on the
train. AS you see, I am no taller
than ten-year-old boy, and have
smooth face, and am young any
way, and can talk in as childish a
voice as | care to put on for the
time being. Well, they were de-
lighted and thought it was the best
joke in the world, and when we went
INTO the dining car the bride led me
by the hand and insisted on order
ing bowl of bread and milk for
me, though l don't know of any
thing hate worse. They ordered
beefsteaks for themselves and ev-
erything went lovely till the steaks
came in, when the bride said:
"Sam, dear, do you usually like
steak rare or well done?" OF course
the whole dining-car saw the situa-
ton aad snickered, and the poor
bride flushed like rose bush after
a summer shower.
"The silly things" said bride No.
2; "we never made mistake like
that, Joe, did we, when we were
newly married folks?"
"Not much !" exclaimed her hus-
band, and we never will either"
Ipretended not to hear this break.
and just then the dining-car waiter
came in and announced
"Dinin' kyar open"
We went in together and ordered
our luncheon. Among other things
the happy couple ordered tea.
"Black O. green?" asked the waiter.
(which do you usually take, Joe,
dear?" asked the bride, in the most
innocent manner imaginable. The
carfull laughed, the waiter MUIR
INJURED: "Take yo' pardners TO- de
tunnel !" and l hurried aft.-Mar-