Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-12-03
MARI AGE.
How Some Persons May Make a Failure of
Married Life.

calculated to throw man into gnashing
of the teeth and tearing of the hair condi-
ton, 1t is his attempt to give the wife of
his bosom an account of some ordinary
affairs to which she listens after this
fashion:
He-"Oh, my dear, | must tell you
something Jack Burroughs told NE to day
while-''
she-''where did you see Jack Bur-
roughs?
ooh, we went 10 lunch together,
and
"How did you happen to 60 out to
luncheon together?"
"Well we didn't exactly go out togeth-
er; met Jack on the restaurant steps,
and
"What restaurant?"
''Calloway's, and Jack
How did you happen to go to Gallo
ways? thought you always lunched at
Draper's."
II nearly always DO; but I just happen
ed to drop into Calloway's to-day along
with Jack, and"
docs he always lunch at Galloway s? ?"
I'm sure, my dear IA little sharply.
that | don't know if he does or not. 1t
make no earthly difference if
ooh, Of course not. (Hastily.) l just
wondered il ne did; that's all. Go on with
your story
We'll. while we were eating our soup,
jack"
"What kind of soap?'
Turtle. Jack said that"
II thought you disiked turtle soup"
"Well, I don't care much about it,
but
How did you happen to order it if you
didn't care for it.
because l did Severely. But the soup
has nothing to do with TIE story
oh, of course not, I'm grieved tone.
never said that it did. | don't see way
yousshould get cross over simple question.
Go on"
We'll, while we were eating our soup,
Lawrence HiIdreth and his new wife came
in and
They did?"
Il have just said so.
well, you needn't be SO cross about
it,"
They came in, and
''is she pretty?''
Pretty enough. Jack bowed and
docs he know tn emp
"Well now do you suppose he would
have bowed it be hadn' known them? |
declare if IL
"How was she dressed?"
How do ! know? | never locked at
her dress. What was going to tell you
was that"
did they sit near your"
Eyes, at the next tabs. And while
they were ordering, Jack said that they
Couldn't they hear him?"
DO you suppose (fercely) that Jack
would have no more sense than to let item
hear him talking about them? I'll swear
if
flames, if you cant tell simple little
incident without getting into passion
you'd better keep it to yourself. What
did Jack say?'
He said that Miss Hildreth's father
was opposed to the match and
'"F1ow did ne know thatf'
Great Caesar! There you 90 again"
james. will you please remember that
ii Is your wife to whom you are speaking,
sir?"
mo other woman would drive me raw
ing, distracted crazy, asking silly questions
about
''James!"
Every time try to tell you anything,
you begin. and you"
Games (rising W til dignity and saying
stjff1y) do not propose listening to any
such insulting remarks, and
"7ou never listen to anything. That
the trouble If"
when ask simple question, yon
I'D say simple You've asked me a
million simple questions in the last half
hour, Just because | was going to tell you
that Jack Burroughs said that
Il do not wish to hear what Mr.. Jack
Burroughs said il you cannot tell it re
spectfuliy. | shall have my dinner sent
to my room, since it is so painful for you
to eat With an IDIOT" (Retires scornfuI-
~, while he narrowly escapes ali attack of
aLopIexy) .-Smith's Monthly.
TJyr 4, TTruEN