The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-10-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

uChs
The demonstration of canine joy be-
gins at the end. Boston Courier.
An ice bill may be ccol, but it is not
always collected. - Washington Star.
No man can be hero to his valet
Heros have no use for such attendants.
Puck.
An ardent swain goes to court pre-
pared to plead his own cause.-DetrOit
Free Press.
If life really were poem, it is doubt
full if any cne would be averse to it,
Detroit Free Press.
Belle-''This mirror is simply per-
feet" Bess-"Ah, l see. 1t tatters
you. Yankee Blade.
The spoon craze pervades the water
ing places. 1t takes only two to make a
full set.-Bost0n Herald.
When firm winds up its business it is
only reasonable to suppose that it has
been running down.-Detr0it Tribune.
Quericus-'Whati is Mrs. Moneybag-
CESS position in society,"" Cynicus-
"Why, it's capital. - Washington Star.
She-"Why do you shudder and shut
your eyes when you see hammockp
He-"Because I've been there. Horn
ing Journal
Ever since Rebecca went to to the well
watering-places have been great resorts
for ladies with matrimonial aspirations.
Chicago NeaOs.
There is no afiliction without its COM
pensating benefit. The deaf mute is
stranger to the trials of the telephone
Boston Transcript.
A distinctive feature of this seasons
hats for the ladies is an exceptionally
low crown. Not so the price. 1t is as
high as ever.-Detroit Free Press.
Theatre Manager to departing specta-
tor)-"Beg pardon, sir, but there are
two more acts" "Yes, know it.
That's why Pm going. Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
"The Eastern sages believe that there
is a sign on each mans forehead that the
angels may read," he whispered softly.
"What is yoursa" she answered. ITO
letW-NeU York Herald.
Philanthropist - " You say your
brother treated you with marked disre-
spectY In what way" Tramp (wiping
his eyes)-"Went to work in my pres
ence. ."--Neto York Herald.
At supper the other evening Feble-
witte rather brusquely bade the table girl
give him some sauce. He got what he
asked for, but, somehow, did not seem
to relish it.-Dstroh Free Press
81 say, waiter" exclaimed an impa-
tient customer, "I've been here a full
hourn "I've been here since seven this
morning." answered the waiter. Tire
some, amt it9"-Phitadelphia Record.
The Maiden-''I hope you noticed,
Mr.. Rimer, that it was your book that
brought out here to read" Mr.. Rimer
-"Yes. also noticed that you fell
fast asleep over it."-Auasey's Weekly.
"We have no use for bear stories, I"
said the editor. sour readers demand
something spicy" "Well," said the
man with the manuscript, "this story is
about cinnamon bear. "-IadiaaapOlis
Journal.
''You couldn't get steaks as rare rs you
liked them at your late boarding house,
ehl' said the old boarder to the new.
"Well, it'll be rare enough you'll get
them here, let me tell youW W-Detr0it
Free Press.
"Great Scottl" exclaimed the world
the other day as she wiped the perspira-
tion off the North American Continent
with a point lace cloud. "Did any one
ever have so much trouble with a sun
beforel'-L1e.
One occasionally reads of the discov-
cry of the petrided remains OF human be-
ings. Is this to be taken as indicating
that there may have been those in days of
yore who succeeded iu making them-
selves solidl-Detrou Free Press.
A Jefferson avenue young man who has
money enough to do the summer resorts
and conscience enough to flirt with every
girl he meets, went into Wood ward ave-
nue. jew9lry store last week where he
knew one OF the clerks. want three
rings, lady's size" he said "Ab, 4"
smiled the clerk, ounningly, "going to
have a circus, are youl"-DeW0it F,'ee
Press.
"How are you getting on with the
pianol" asked Alphonso OF his best be-
loved Matilda. "Oh, very well | can
see the great progress in my work"
"How is thatl" "Well, the family that
lived next door moved away within
week after l began to practice The next
people stayed month, the next ten weeks
and the family there now have remained
near SIX months, - fankes bIads,