davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
BOILING IT DOWN.
A Waif of Posey Which Suffered ia the
Editors Hands.

Editor Mortimer Clugston, formerly of
the Doorleville Yelper, but late of the
Boomville Thunderbolt, sat in his sanctum
engaged in a severe mental struggle with
a poem that lay on the table before him.
1t was written by a young lady who sig
ned herself Mary Belle, and was 70 the
effect that they cannot choose, but wait at
the old familiar gate, going home: the
words are low and sweet, but the old gate
is discreet, going home. Long they lin
ger, long they stand at the gateway, hard
in hand, going home; what the words so
sweet and low only they and gate do know,
in the gloam. ''Good-night!" Good
Night" they say, but all the longer stay,
going home; till darkness hides from
sight of gate and all their last good nj ght,
in the gloam, etc. Editor Clugston didn't
like to lose that poem, but there WASH t
room for it. If it went in he would have
to cut down the notice of Miss Phoebe
Gays millinery opening, every line OF
which was worth ten cents IN solid cash.
All tie space he had left for that week was
just one inch, and it would be time to go
to press in FIVE minutes. In this emerg-
ency one of those flashes of inspiration that
mark the man of genius came to his aid.
He seized his pen and wrote; Miss
May Belle sends US beautiful poem
which we have not space to insert in full,
but which is to good to be lost. We have
condensed ii as follows:
"Must wait, at Gate-home:
Words sweet, gate 'screet7-gloam.
Long stand. squeeze hand-late.
Words low, don't don't know-gate.
TIA Tai so long!-back;
Real dark, Observation-Disclosures
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
SHE NEVER FELT 1T.
How Young NJ ans Bewilderment Was Re-
lieyei by His Married Sister

How a Young NJ ans Bewilderment Was Re-
lieved by His Married Sister.
The Chicago Tribune tells of a young
sister for her to help him elucidate it.
Say, Nell!" said he. What kind of
a girl is that Smith girl, anyhow"
"Why?" sagely answered his sister.
Il took her to the theater last night.
and when the lights went downEyou
know she's got such dear little hands,
got hold of one Of them and squeezed it. "
And she snatched her hand away and
said you ought to be ashamed of your
self"
mot much!"
She didn't return the gentle pres
sure?"
mo, she didn't"
What did she do?"
Nothing; didn't seem to know her
hand had been squeezed"
Then what?"
Il tried it again later on Same thing.
| tried it third time Same thing.
Then l gave it up. Now. what sort of a
girl is that?" thought girls usually ala
one thing or the other"
80 they do when they know what's
going on. She didn't feel your squeeze. y
But I squeezed hard the third time
That doesn't make any difference.
We'll, what's the matter with the
girl?"
why, nothing. She's all tight; it's
her gloves. You see she's got big hand
-64-and wears a 81 gloves. I've seen
her buy them. When she gets them on
the palms reach up to the second joints of
her fingers. Her hand is jammed togeth-
er worse than a Chinese lady's foot, and
the tops are as tight around the wrist as
wise. The blood can't circulate, and after
she's had them on half an hour you could
stick pins into her hands and she wouldn't
know it. If you must squeeze hands,
Tommy, try it oil wooden Indian; you'll
get more response"
'But doesn't it hurt?''
Hurt? It's torture. But then it
makes the fresh young men think she s
got such dear little hands, Tommy"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
All But Perfect.

Miss Flypp-Do you know, Mr.. Hunker,
| never play the piano?
Hunker-You surprise me! But, of
course, you sing?
''Nixey."
Then you keep a measly poodle, and
kiss his ugly mug?"
"No don't"
''Do you read Browning?"
mo, indeed!"
'Have you any fads?"
II hate EN-
''Do you make your own dresses?"
Yes"
"Do you eat ice-cream?"
Il detest it.
''My charming girl, will you marry
me?'
Yes"
kiss me, then
"Wait till | take my chewing-gum out
of my mouth.
(Hunker faints and is carried home on
a shutter.)
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
"GLASSES TO READ WIFE,
Nebber Learned to Read. but Wanted

Nebber Learned to Read. but Wanted to
See if the Glasses Would Help Him to-
1t was warm summer day when I'm
Gle Ephraim Jackson, a worthy colored
man; entered an opticians shop, and re
moving his tall white hat, and wiping the
perspiration from his forehead with big
bandana handkerchief, sat down YEARLY on
a revolving stool, as if he feared it Was
about to run away with him, and asked
the optican for a pair of glasses 'fer to
read wifi.
Uncle Ephraim grinped. 81 guess |
wears two" he said.
Number twoi" excl timed the optican
in establishment.
''Jis two glasses, sab; one fer de one
eye, an one fer do odder.
The optican looked at ulm with fr0wn
for an instant, but, Sc, Ing that the old
man was innocent of any atte mpt to make
a jok, Went on with the business before
pim.
Try on these. ne said, picking out a
pair, land see if you can read the letters
ON that card over there.
Uncle Ephraim eagerly put on the spec
tacles and looked at the card.
Cant read it, shuah, boss, he said,
looking disappointed.
"Well, try these" said the optican, try
ing a stronger pair.
mo go, boss, said Uncle Ephraim.
The deales gave him another pair, and
then another. Not one of them ali en-
abIed Uncle Ephraim to read, though he
struggled ever so hard, and wiped his
forehead again and again in considerable
excitement.
"Look here" said the optican, finally,
''can you read at all"
"Nebber could read, BOSS said Uncle
Ephraim. "Dey never learned me how,
nohow; but done hear tell oh people dat
could read wifi glasses that couldn't read
without EN-, nohow, an IL made up my
min I'd see if twas dat way wifi me. -
Youth COMPANION.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

Institution for TIE Promotion of Illegit-
innate Children.
The wet nurses and foster-mothers are
paid salary of three roubles a month in
the villages until the children are FIVE
years OLD. Young mothers send their
babies to the asylum, then offer themselves
as wet nurses. Having taken notice of
some Slight birthmark or her distinguish
my feature of the offspring before
sending it. she manages, as paid
nurse, to find her own child. Eventually
she returns home. bearing in triumph her
own infant, for which she now receives
pay as a government foster-mother.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

Telegraph Operator have to
give up sending messages at so much per
word Well have to charge by the letter
in future if we want to make money.
Manager Why?"
Operator Read this message of ten
words that Boston girl gave nae to send
to her professor: Contemplating psyche
logical investigations necessitates suppl
eating metaphysical pabulum. Transmit
appropriate assertions.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

The editor of the Voice flung shaft of
satire at 1.-THE gnat and camel conscience"
of u contemporary, but it came out in
print great and carnal conscience, y"
which was even worse than the indignant
editor designed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
HE WAS NEAR SIGHTED.
Annoyance of a Gentleman Who Tried to
Atone for Blonde
Youths Companion.

VI
Atone for Blu nder
Youths Companion.
Many are the social drawbacks attend
ant on near-sightedness. There is prob
ably no person thus afflicted who has not
at some time cut his best friends and
killed possible acquaintanceship by fail
ing to recognize some one to whom he
has been recently introduced.
A very nervous and sensitive gentle
man, who can literally see little more
than IAN inch before his nose" says he
has far less to regret from his failures to
salute acquaintance than from his at
tempts at atonene after Inevitable
mistakes The history of one morning 5
blunders may suffice to show the disabil-
tiles under which he struggles.
On the way down town he met his sis
ter, who at once stopped him excldiming,
why, Henry Gilbert, how could you fail
to recognize Mrs. Miles? You have just
passed her and suppose she didn't bow
because there wasn't even CLEAN of re-
cognition on your face.
Dear, dear! have | actually made such
a hlunder?" said poor Henry. ''And |
am particularly anxious to be On good
terms with her husband. But they're new
commers in town, how could be expected
to know her, when I've only seen her
twice?'
son the other hand she can't be expected
to make an allowance for you, not know
ing you are near sighted" said his sister,
severely, Now Henry, do keep look
out for people, and try not to make any
more mistakes for twenty four hours.
Henry went ON his way with heavy
heart, but when he entered a horse car
that noon, it was WITH thrill of elation
when he saw Mrs. Miles established In
one corner. To gain a seat beside her,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02
WISCONSIN STATE NEWS.

Edward Christotferson, of Stevens
Point, has mysteriousl " disappeared, leav-
ing his wife In destitute circumstances.
He had large sum of money on his per-
son before his disappearance and it is
thought that he might have been MUIR
dered
Old settlers of Fond du Lac and Green
Lake. county held a monster picnic and
reunion at Spring Grove, on Green lake.
Col. Watrous delivered All address.
The Wisconsin River Pnlp and Paper
company, owner of the Conant Rapids
water over at Stevens Point, is build
ing a mill that will cost S150,000.
Frederick Kepplein, the father of the
boy who was found dead in the patch of
woods near Cascade, had Herman Petz-
NIGHT arrested charging him with assault
upon the dead boy. The case will be tried
at Plymouth.
Burglars forced their way into Frank
York's residence at Osseo, and got away
with 500 money a gold watch worth 500
and other jewelry, the whole amounting
to S25.
Mrs. Margaret Fuller, widow of 70,
was killed by freight train at Appleton.
The Nordel clothing house, Of Oshkosh
a branch of J. Walheim & Co., of Mil
| waukee, has failed.
The date of the Oconomowoc Yacht
clubs regatta has been changed to July 3.
| The first fatal case of sunstroke reported
| in Wisconsin this year occurred in Gid.
den, Tuesday, John Anderson, of Lima,
being the victim.
Chas Meyer, who robbed GAINESVILLE
houses while their owners were at the cir
Gus, has been sent to Waupun for two
years.
Durand's leper woman, Mrs. Maine
Hill, who in reality was afflicted with
| lupus in a terrible form, died yester-
day.
Royal Aver, a well known farmer living
near Bara boo, diel from in uries received
by falling upon hay rake,
The family of Theodore Gooseberry, OF
Onalaska, were poisoned by eating
cheese, but all will recover.
Peter Peters, Racine boy. was acct
dentally shot and killed at Missouia,
Mont
The Church of the Redeemer, at Su-
perior. will erect new SIS, 900 building.
High school graduates at Stevens Point
organized an aiun4nI association.
More than 140 different applications of
the number is still increasing. The sizes
of the motors range from those having the
power OF mouse up to one of 5000 horse
power, which is In operation near Lon
don.
She: "You are always talking about
the fashions. Now, honestly, do you
think you would know the latest fashions
in hats if you were to enter miliiner's
shop?'
He: Certainly" She: ''How?"
He (ruefully): ''By looking at the
prices.
Governor Humphrey, of Kansas, has
taken the Wood murder case out OF the
hands of the local authorities Of Stevens.
county and ordered Attorney General Ives
to proceed at once and take the case in
hand
By collision of freight trains on the
Texas Pacific near Jefferson, Texas,
Brakeman Dean and a tramp. named
Grutzer were instantly killed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

Fire in the C. NJ Nelson lumber mills
at Colquitt, Mimi, caused damage of
sl40, 900; fully insured.
A 100000 fire damaged the Garfield
oil works and lumber yard at Cleveland,
Ohio.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

THE summer custom in Germany is to
take noon recess of two hours. halt
hoUr being devoted to lunch, an hour to
mapping and half hour to getting back
to work. Not bad program by any man
ner of means especially during such
weather as the past few days
GUATEMALA gives signs Of wanting to
join Uncle Samuel's union of states, but
there is as yet no evidence of a reel procity
of feeling. If the pesky little republic
will only keep on hoping for a few years
more aud stop its internal warning, we
may yet consent to take pity on it. Our
magnanmity is simply boundless.
Iowa is receiving her share of the con-
stantly arriving immigrants. During the
year ending May /, 1891, about 5000 PEG
pie, or ,142 families to be exact, settled
along one line of railway in the northern
part of the state The western farming
lands are still the objective point of many
of the newcomers, it appears.
Nor long ago a cunning Yankee invented
a kind of writing ink that would grad
ualIy fade from the page as old love scenes
fade from the memory. 1t ought to rise to
great popularity among rich old men, who
have failure for penning amatorY epistles
to smart damsels. Baby Bunting, for ex-
ample, would never have won an endur-
ing name on the pages of notoriety if he
had only had the foresight to use the evan.
escent ink. 1t will be a great boon for
giddy old jays.
The census of Ireland shows that 3, $40,
S46 persons returned themselves as Roman
Catholics, or 1914 per cent. less than the
number for 1881; 800, $50 are returned as
Protestant Episcopalians, a decrease of 6.2
per cent, and 446, 687 as Presbyterians, a
decrease of 81 per cent. There are SIS, 235
Methodists, an increase of 49, per cent,
eaVing 81, l54 in minor ciassifcations or
unaccourted for Tbs aggregate decrease
of population is 81 Per cent,
A PRIZE of 800 has been offered 10y one
of the regents Ct the university of the
state of New York for the newspaper or
magazine article best presenting the ad-
yantages of so-called university extension
aha the most desirable methods Of pros
ecuting it. Three copies of the article
must be filed with the secretary of the uni
verify at Albany by July l, and the prize
will be awarded early in the month at the
annual university convocation. Here is a
chance for bright minds in the west to
make some pin money dnring the idle
days of this joyous June time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

Disastrous storms yesterday are reported
from Holstein. Iowa, Empol la, kas., Oak
Lake, Manitoba, and Des Moines, la.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

By collision of freight trains on the
Texas Pacific near Jefferson, Texas,
Brakeman Dean and tramp. named
Grutzer were instantly killed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

Governor Humphrey, of Kansas, has
taken the Wood murder case out Of the
hands of the local authorities of Stevens.
county and ordered Attorney General Ives
to proceed at once and take the case in
hand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

More than 140 different applications of
electric motors have been enumerated, and
the number is still increasing. The sizes
of the motors range from those having the
power OF mouse up to one of 5000 horse
power, which is In operation near Lon
don.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-07-02

She: "You are always talking about
the fashions. Now, honestly, do you
think you would know the latest fashions.
in hats if you were to enter a miliiner's
shop?'
He: Certainly" She: ''How?"
He (ruefully): ''By looking at the
prices.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-11-13
GYPsIEs IN THIS COUNTRY.


Here and Elsewhere They Preserve Their
Individuality.
At present there are probably be-
tween three and four hundred gypsies
in the northern states few summers
ago there was band of gypsies num-
bering fifteen or twenty, who pervaded
New England and encamped in divers
localities The men were all tinkers.
and professed to make living by mend
ing pots and kettles; but, unless the
farmers of the regions did them great
injustice, a propensity to confiscate
poultry unlawfully was one Of their be-
setting sins. They conversed together
in the cultural gib5erish spoken by the
tribe everywhere, and different in no
respect from their brethren in Spain,
France, England anc Germany
Like the Jews, the gypsies have pre-
served their individual ualities in all coun.
tries, and are the same, as regards their
nomadic instincts, morals and features.
as they were in the early part of the
fifteenth century II is popularity sup
posed that they are Of Egyptian descent,
but nobody knows of their origin, not
even themselves. They are evidently.
however, the scions of some eastern
stock, and have preserved the oriental
peculiarity Of laziness unimpaired. We
once asked a gypsy woman what re-
gion she supposed to be the original
habitat of her tribe, to which she re-
piled that they dwelt in Egypt when
Mary and Joseph aed from the persecu-
tions of Herod-and that they closed
their doors against the fugitives. A go
ahead country like the United States is
not congenial to them.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-11-13
THE MAORiS.
Aboriginal Inhabitants of the New Zea-
land Islands.

Aboriginal Inhabitants of the New Zea-
land Islands.
The Maoris form an integral portion
of the community, with recognized
place and rights. 1t is not considered
at all improper for a white man to
marry a Maori girl, especially if she is
heiress to a tract of good land. They
are n middle-sized, stuggy race, and
though some say that they are dying
out, better authorities maintain that
they are holding and viii continue to
hold their own. They have representa-
tives in both houses of parliament, and
any of these, If unable to speak Eng
lish, is allowed an interpreter, who
stands up beside him and translates his
speech sentence by sentence. This
double barreled membership looks odd,
but it works well. heard Taipua, one
of the four in the house OF representa-
tives, make a speech after this manner
on q proposed native lands bill As q
parliamentary utterance it was mir
acle of condensation, perhaps because
he had time to think over what he was
going TO say next, while the interpret
er explained in English what ne had
about our lands in as many years, and
they have all been bad. This is the
worst. You propose to tax our land
Had you not better leave the matter
to ourselves? Or. as there are now
number of our leading men in Yelling
ton to give evidence on n disputed viii
case involving land titles, | advise ycu
to take counsel with them. They can
give you light. if light is what you
want. At any rate, keep lawyers away
from us" Thus spake Taipua, and,
amid the cheers and laughter of the
house, took his seat, leaving the min
istry in no doubt as to the side on
which he intended 70 vote.
Some of the Maoris still keep up the
old hidcous practice of tattooing the
men puncturing the whole face to in
crease their Importance, and the women
their lips, chins and eyelids to increase
their personal attractions. a friend
of mine told married woman in Japan
that he wondered at her disfguring
herself by blaclling her teeth. What
do you mean?" was the indignant an
swer. ANY dog has white teeth"
Probably the Maori damsel thinks
along the same line, but after looking
at her slaty- blue lips ! thought her
mistaken.-G. NJ. Grant, in Harpers
Magazine
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-11-13

A-INLEr. POND FOR CARP B--oUTLET.
them. The fish grow rapidly and
scon make n size sufficient for
use. When I first procured mine
they were seven or eight inches
long, and spawned the first year. fixing
the eggs to the grass which overhung
the water and was submerged in it.
The second year they were large enough
for use, and made most acceptable
addition to the domestic supply But
they must be well fed to make a quick
growth, and the pond must not be
crowded This viii be prevented by
having the screens between the ponds
of half-inch mesh, through which the
small fish can escape to the lower
ponds. The fish may De driven from
one pond to another through the gates,
and in this way the large ones may be
kept in the upper pond and the small
fry lower down
NY ponds paid all the cost of them
the first year by the ice they furnished,
and as the farm was run as dairy. this
supply was quite valuable. Another
valuable return was the muck that was
dug out and used for litter in the sta-
bles and for compost, and still another
was the water crosses grown in the
shallow water of the lower pond. This
brought me 70 cents peck basket in
the New York market, and Si.50 per
basket in the winter from the part of
the pond which was protected by hot
bed sashcs. Few farmers who have all
these facilities take any account of the
value of water annex to the farm,
but such part Of farm may be often
made to pay many times the value OF
as much dry land. III. Stewart, in
Country Gentleman.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-11-13
s,rictxen hv ri0htnin,.

While a company of Prussian grena-
diers of the guard were digging n ditch
as a portion of their drill in a heavy
shower of rain recently stroke OF
lightning felled half of them 10 the
ground. The lightning also struck all
the band, and others who were near the
captains horse, killing the latter on
the spot. One member of the band had
the crest Of his helmet melted. the
back of his skull laid open, his clothes
and body on the right side singed, and
one of his boots torn from his foot and
hurled several yards away A drum
mer, in addition to severe internal in
juries, was driven under the horse,
which fell upon him and nearly crushed
him to death. The trumpeter who was
holding the animal was severely in
jured in the leg The captain was
struck to the ground and lay there I'M
conscious for long time, and close by
were two non-commissioned officers.
who also remained for some time in
sensible.