St. Landry democrat., 1891-07-18
HE SNORED.
And Thereby Lost Wife and For-
tune,

And Thereby Lost Wife and For
tune.
He lives in Buffalo, and is employ
ed in a Main street insurance office at
a far-distant salary. | mean by that
that he will get S25 per week in the
far-distant future. He wears good
clothes, however, belongs to the best
circle, and a month ago met a Brook
Ivn heiress who was visiting wealthy
friends there 1t seemed to be case
of love p. d. g., and inside of a week
all other young men in Buffalo had
to content themselves with sitting on
the fence as she passed by.
The other day the heiress received
telegram to hasten home, as her
apopletic father had received q
"shock" while talkingt to an alderman,
and the far-distant young man volun-
teered to see her safely landed on the
home doorstep. The start from But
falo was made at night, with berths
in the sleeping car duly reserved. and
the PORTER sized the young man up
as good for half when he came to
apply the whisk- broom in the morn
ing. The train rolled eastward on
schedule time, the evening wore away,
and the lovers finally squeezed hands,
babe each other fond goodnight
and retired to their respective sweat
boxes to dream OF the Joys o. the fu-
ture.
Half an hour OF western New York
time rolled away to be heard OF no
more forever, and the porter turned
down the lights and reported every
thing all O. X. and everybody asleep.
Then, as suddenly as a tailor makes
out a. bill OF S23 against a debtor
seen going towards depot with Il
grip in his hanl, there came a sound
/ to arouse the 20 sleepers. 1t was not
| the shrill scream of an elephant
hunted to Ills death, nor yet the
J warming growl OF tiger as the hunter
faces him in his lair. No; it was
something Notwithstanding cut,
| made and trimmed after the latest
| Paris spring style. Everyone under
| stood the meaning OF that wild Hnd
unearthly sound before he had listened
a moment The far-distant young
man from Buffalo was lying on the
broad OF his back, his mouth was
open, his palate had dropped down
like the halt OF Il cellar door. and he
was sailing wing-and- wing to the tune
Oh
Whe-ew' Whee-ee. Ho-whee-ec!
Whoop-ee,
"Porter,,' called dozen voices at
! once.
YES, sah,'
"Choke him with a shoe, Jam a
pillow into his rat-trap, Tie his lower
Jaw up to his nosen'
The porter went to the berth and
shook the sleeper, but he missed Just
one note and went ahead on a down
grade with:
"Bur-whup. Bur whoop. Ah-ha-u
a-a, Ii-h-o-o-o, Whoop-e-e-e."
BLAST his eyes,'
"Put him in hog car,'
"Shoot him with a boot"
And all night long, with only brie1
intervals, that far-dist ant young man
from billowy Lake Erie tried to SIM
his soul away through mouth and
nose, and the unsympathetlc pas
sengers consigned him to Halifax
Texas, Cincinnati, Chicago Snd other
desirable places of residence for small
families. He awoke in the morning
innocent and refreshed, and after the
use of a palace car currycomb and I;
patent towel he went to meet his
charmer with:
"Let me hope that you slept as
sweetly as did last night"
"Sir!!'
"Why, Miss Blank-Ida--what i:
the NATTER"
"Sir.'
"Why, Ida, p
"Sir! you have made q mistake,
do not know you. Go away, sir, or
shall call the conductor"'
And thus he gained and lost her
and now, as the apple-trees put forth
their verdure and the bluebirds sins
among the lilacs, he smileth not ant
is not glad. Earth's happiness is MOI
for him.-New York World.