The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-09-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The love of show is a sort of pomp-
adore.
A commanding presence-The subpoena.
Puck.
A y-scholar-The pupil of the eye.
PUCK.
Old age tells on one and so does youth.
-DGllaS Netos.
Cupid is ex-ofiicio member of every
archery club. Washington star.
The knife-grinder ought not to be out
of work in dull times.
1t takes an unusually good swimmer
nova days to float a loan.- Boston Herald.
Strange as it seems,a a collectors work is dun
Judge.
A cobbler would not be laying a heavy
wager if he staked his awl.-DetrOh Free
Press.
There should be naught but admiration
for an athletes big feat.--DstroH Free
Press.
~ gOOu uldl luuSI Slull Ol MS u ulbJ
when he has nothing else to stand on
Picayune.
Women may not be deep thinkers, but
they are generally clothes Observers
TeraS Siftings.
Making both ends mcct-when the
head of the family foots the bills.
Washington Star.
After people take a spin it is quite
natural for them to feel like top
PittSLurg Dispatch.
If ignorance is bliss, the wonder is
why so many people complain OF being
miserable. .-Atchis0B Globe
"ThIs is very we'll put" remarked the
editor as he dropped the poem into the
waste basket Washington Star.
Georgia has woman train dispatcher.
Every small boy knows of a woman
switchtender.- Washington Star.
After man passes forty the greatest
hero in the world to him is the mqu who
became famous after tifty.-IiehtSon
Globe.
The reason why fly is generally mon
arch absolute of bald head is because
there is no heir apparent. PhilalelPhta
Times.
"Would you permit me to read you
my last poem, my dear young lady!" ''lt
1t is your last really, certainly. File
geade Blaetter,
"In getting through a failure success
fully" says old Mr. CumroX, Ia good
deal depends on mans disabilities. -
Washington Star.
The world owes us a living, yet no
man can collect the debt unless he pulls
off his coat aud takes it from the worlds
hido.-Ieras SVtingS.
"What do you sell pound of tobacco
for1" "Cash, " was the laconlc answer.
"How much for a pounds" "Sixtoen
ounces. ~ Philadelphia Times.
The only objection to the selr-made
man is that in so many cases he has
failed to put himself together so as to
work nolselessly. Washington Post.
1t is about as easy for beginner to
keep his seat astride bicycle as it is for
a yenturesome youth to ride the trick
donkey at a circus. Detroit Free Press.
How doth the little buzzy bes
Improve each shining minuteY
Go search the little hat AMI see
lthe's not buzzing ia it.
-Deiroh Free Press.
At A. NJ; Tommy gawniug)-"A
river must have good time" Dick
"Whyp Toumy-"Bscause it doesn't
have to get out Of its bed. "-L2ceH CHi-
zen.
Brown-'T say, doctor, what will
happen to a man if he drinks about four
quarts of water in the morniug'" Doc
tor-"Can't say, certainly. But l eau
say what has happened to him."-Ohi.
clq0 Ne'os.
"lf | were to commit suicide" said
Gus dc Jay to his fathers physician,
"What kind OF verdict would the cor
woner bwing inl" ''Justiiabe homi-
eide, was the emphatic reply Wash
iaytoR EUeRinq Star.
Merchant-'I missed you from the
store yesterday afternoon" Clerk
ayes, l was down to the Y. NJ. G. A.
rooms leading a prayer-meeting.' AIer-
chant-''ls that so. How was the um-
piriug g"-Bi BiHghamt0R Leader.
Papa-"See the spider, my boy, spin
ming his web. Is it not wonderful Do
you reflect that, try as he may, no man
could spin that web~ johnny What
of it' See me SPIN this top. Do you
reflect that, try as he may, no spldeE
could spin this top"-Ne0 Tgyb Sun.
"Don't you think bye-bye Is rather
silly SOFT OF expression for sedate folks
like us to use when we part" she asked
as she stood in the door OF his office pre-
paIatory to her shopping tour. 1T de-
pends, my dear her husband replied,
"on how you spell it, [ mean buy,
buy. ~ Washington Posi-,