davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13
TERMS OF s~UEscRIPTIoN.
HELENA, MONT, JULY 10. 1891.

e MoatAnians abroad will always find TIE
DAILY I~NprPENpENT On file ut their favorite
hotels: Fifth Avenue and Metropolitan. New
York; West, Minneapolis; Baldwin and Palace,
San Francisco; McDermott, Butte; Leland Hotsl,
Springfield. III.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13

A CORRESPONDENT asks on what lines
the word "electrocute" was built. Pre-
sumably it was formed on the analogy
of execute" If so, it is a barbarism
and blunder of the purest Milesian type.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13

ASKED for a list Of the twenty-seven
concerns that he had asserted we're
about to begin making tin plate, the
artful dodger of st. LOUIS promptly pro-
duced a type-written list. "None Of
them were at work yet, but they ex-
pected to be soon.n Blessed are they
that expect nothing, for they shall not
be disappointed.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13

FROM all directions come reports that
IL harrison IS the second choice of the re-
pu blicans. This means B. Harrison, of
course, not r. b. Harrison.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13
OfIlce

Mems night shirts at The Bee Hive, worth 8, .
to Sl.j0 for 75c and 81. "'' fig
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13
MONEY AT FIVE PER CENT
Uncle SANS Remedy for Hard Times f.,
All Corners.

Money loaned at five per cent, in anv
amount, from % cents to $500 on Personal
security, mt the old and reliable loan office of
Uncle Sam.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13
Free Lots

Of Doctor HaiRht, rooms 30 md a11
Power building. ~
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-13
Old I'aDers

Old papers for sale at this Office at n low
price,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01

All sorts of ingenious methods are con-
stantly being invented by cranks, saarks
and Missionaries in general all abou. the
country to dispose OF Uncle Sans surplus
income that has already been very effect
lively disposed of by that business congress
which made a business OF spending the
money we had and putting up the tariff so
high that we are not likely to get any more
in a hurry. Possibly the grasping politi-
clans thought that If we had surplus with
a low tariff we would get fabulous wealth
with high tariff. But that is not the point
of these remarks. Alluslon to the scheme
to appropriate of $500 100000 of public
money proposed by thrifty Nebraska ne
gro for pensionng ex-slaves was the
original purpose Of this paragraph Ac-
cording to his statements be has the
scheme all arranged to his own
satisfaction-on paper-and now only needs
little legislation and a lordly appropria-
ton to secure riches for himself and some
thing for his whole race. Why, Lemons
notorious "squeezern will be but a mere
country grocery compared to the land office
business in pensions that the Nebraska
coon" expects to do when he once gets his
gorgeous scheme going. Let me but run
the brunette department of pension bu-
reau," declaims Vaughan, land l care not
who shall pass the national appropriation
bills" But the scheme appears to be slightly
hoodooed at the start, for the man who first
introduced it to the House of Representa-
tives went home to Nebraska and was
promptly laid out for it by his constitu-
ency. So "the next lucky man" to Introduce
it will be somebody else, as matter Of
course. Meanwhile if anybody happens to
have 81 p that be wants to lend out at big
interest until this rich scheme natures he
might offer it to Statesman Vaughan and ii
will probably not be refused.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
The Ce sev Canal.

From statements made to the MORNING
| NEWS the Casey canal needs attention. II
IS alleged that a great deal of water is
standing in Cuyler swamp, and that Casey
canal, by which it is drained, appears to be
choked up. The canal ought to be attended
to at once if this is its condition.
A month ago the superintendent Of dry
culture for the city made report TO the
city engineer, which showed that the canal
was nos doing its work properly. In his
report the superintendent said The bitches
in the southeastern portion Of the city have
been carefully gone over and the DeRenne
canal, from where the continuation Of the
Sixth avenue sewer discharges to where
said canal intersscts with the Casey canal,
has been thoroughly cleaned out. but unless
the Casey canal is oveyhauled all this work
will be Of little avail This last-named
canal is in many places entirely grown up
with wampee and other water growth, so that
the water can scarcely find vent through
it,"
The Casey canal Is not, Of course, within
the jurisdiction of the city engineer, and
this extract from the report of the super,n-
tendent of dry culture is made only for the
purpose of showing that the choked condi-
ditlon of Casey canal greatly interferes with
the proper drainage of the southeastern POI
ton of the city.
The Casey canal is under the jurisdiction
Of the county commissioners, and now that
the fact that the canal is not doing the
work expected Of it has been called to their
attention, they will take steps at once doubt
less to remove the distractions in it. 1t is
highly important that the canals and
bitches which drain the city and the coun-
try contiguous to 1t should be kept in good
condition. the demand upon them is very
great when there is a rainfall as heavy as
that Of the month just closed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
BRIGHT BITS.

PARsoN-Have you something to send to the
heather, Mr.. Trotterg
Mr. Trotter tmopping his brow)-Yes; l will
send them my winter overcoat.-Ihe EDoch.
COUNT De QuEER-How ees ices, ma'amsere?
Miss Money! What, count?
Count De Queer-What see ees a spectacle
chr And what see him with ees spectaces-
JelgeIets' Heeels.
Now PhCebus nearer to the earth
HIS flaming car doth whir
That he may get a nearer view
OF our sweet summer girl.
s -Net0 York Herald
| PoLrTIcTs- you think he will get the
| speakership; Crisp has done we'll.
Wltticus-Crisp is well done, you mean.-Ne,o
| York Telegrom.
Miss De PLAIN-Doctor, what is the secret on
beautyy
Family Physician (conidentially)-Be born
pretty. Good NetUS.
You, OUGHT to try and win her, George;
she's beautiful brunette"
"How's her income?"
That's fair. ~
| wei, that's a very good mixture of COM
plexions. guess I'll go in tor her "-Detrott
free Press.
JUDGE (severelyl--Don't you know that when
| you placed wedding ring on this woman's
finger you assumed the duty of supporting
| her?
| N. Peck-Your honor that ring was made in
! a
! JetCeiers Weekly.
ARE you willing to work for your liviug?"
She asked of the two trampS who were stand
| lug on the porch
"Ye'm we are, replied one of 'em earnestly,
an you kin bet we does it digestin' the things
the wlmmin along this route gives us Ter eat"
! Washington Star.
we hear so much about is going 10 furnish work
for large number of the uuemployed?"
Most assuredly. The tramps. for instance
Something right in your line you See"
How SOY"
20, polishing the plates. ~ Washington Post.
WHAT you cannot point pencil?"
said the husband to his wife.
20, you women are so useless
Let me do it. Where's your knife?"
Then he bantered her about it
Till her stock of patience fed.
And she sad: please thread this needle"
Not another word he said.
Cape Cod Item.
A GENTLEMAN travelling in Sweden asked the
price OF smoked salmon "One dollar and
half. replied the clerk.
What does fresh salmon bring, he inquired
in wonder.
About 80 cents pound at retail"
And what is labor worth in the smokeries9"
Something like % cents day believe sir g"
Then" said the traveller then smoke must
be very dear here. "-HGrper's Magazine.
Ex-Gov FURNAs tells story on Judge Brady
"uIcn coming from any one else, might de-
| mand some corroborative evidence Gov. Fur
mas story is that on one occasion Judge Brady
left his office and on the outer door posted a
card with the words Back again in ten min
| utes, Take a seat aud wait. AT the foot of
the stairs" says Gov. Furnas, Judge Brady
| happened to remember that he had forgotten
something Slowly he climbed the steps and
once more he became submerged in his own
| thoughts. AT the door of his own office he
paused and read the card on the door Then
the judge deliberately sat down and waited for
himself to come back. Omaha World
! Herald
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
A Petertown PROPOSAL.

Miss Susie Tansy-"Do you know what time it
is. Hank Stonere"
Hank stoner tof Mlnsey's Weekly)-'No. nor
don't care"
"Oh, you don't: Well, it's time all good little
| boys were at home and in bed"
You don say
ing"
m 20 when git ready"
sass box
say. Susie"
Say it yourself, while your mouths open"
'Pshaw, now, Suse; I'm in earnest"
We'll, what am Idoing?"
You know what; you know I've been going
with You long time, Suse"
''Pugh! What If You have? Guess ! never
asked you 10 go with me, and-ll O'Clock You
gong to stay here all night?'
'Pshaw. Suse your tic lied enough to have
me stay. and you know it,
'A-a-a-w. Hank Stoner, As though 1 cared
whether you go or stay-Pughr'
20: l guess amt such fool as look. But
We'll, say it. then, you nluny! Ny land O
rest, amt hinderin you"
You are, too"
Tee, hee, hee, heeI"
Honest Iniun, now. suse; I'm in dead earn
est amt been your shadder SIX months for
nothin' "
NY shadder La Hank"
You know amt"
',Itow should know? amt witch"
NOu act like ons''
You're polite, | must say'
y meant it as a compliment"
Smart compliment
Il think the world and all of you, Susie"
La, Hank"
81 amt fooliu' "
Tee, hee, hes, bee"
Did you ever happen to think that you and
me was old enough and big enough to get mar
Pooh, Hank"
We air. / amt thought of much else OF
late"
You redickerlus thing
We'll, l amt. You like me purity well, don't
you:"
Il be smart to say so. if did"
married.
Who said we were going to git married? 1t
takes two to make a bargain. Mr.. Smarty."
But you will, won't you Susie:"
IN think about il "
'Pshaw, Susie; why can't you say yes right
hand"
Il snan'f do it, and you can't make me,
you mean thing, I've notion to-the idea
OF you putting your arm around my waist like
that and-now, you dare to kiss me again
What if pa or ma should come in?"
Pooh! They're in bed where they ought to
be-
Nice way to talk about my pc and ma It's
good thing for you they are in bed ~
Yes, | THINK so myself. I'd rather have
EN- there than here. "
Tee, hee, hee you mean thing
all possessed
"Aw Hank! Take your mouth away from
y won't do 1t unless you say yes first"
"Well-tf must-yes.'
"Hooray,"
shut up Good heavens, You want to raise
the dead?"
I'm so happy, Susie"
Well don't 90 crazy if you are-goossm
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
Frogs in lis Stomach.

man this morning entered Kalteyer's drug
| store, says the st. Louis Chronjcls, aud wanted
to see the city physician. Here is the remarka-
| bic statement he made to one of the clerks:
| 81 have my stomach full of frogs, and they
| bother me terribly every night, wnen they keep
| up such a singing and croakng, and Jump
around so mucn. that they don't give me any
chance TO sleep"
The clerk tIen asked: How do you know
they frogssN
Why, don't you suppose know frogs when l
hear them aud see them: | not only hear them
but took an emetic. and when | vomited two
Of them came up"
Were they alive?'
Well should think they were. And as soon
as they got out they began calling TO the others
IN my stomach, and the latter kept answering
them so didn't get any peace until killed the
two outsiders"
Did you keep the dead frogs?'
NO: and am sorry now that didn't be-
cause nobody will believe me when tell them l
have frogs in my stomach, unless the frogs
happen to sing when am talking about them
! went to doctor yesterday and wanted him to
remove them, and he told me | would have to
change my whisky or the frogs would turn into
monkeys; but tire frogs are there just as hard.
and wish they were not. | would like to Kill
them, but am afraid would kill myself if |
tried TO poison them"
The man was apparently sober well dressed
and about 20 years old. The physician was not
in and he left, saying he would be ia
again at the hour when the physician
was expected.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01

The resignation of Mr.. Erhardt. the col
lector of the port of New York, does NOT ap'
pear to have excited great deal Of sur prlSe
IN republican circles in that city IL mas
been evident some time - those who are
familiar with the purposes Of the republican
leaders in New York that he could not holo
his position and retain his selt-re'pect. rs
is a parts IN of the strictest KIND, but ne mas
the reputation OF being au honest man. he
is willing to DO all that an honest man
can to aid his party, but be IS not Will
ing 10 do more. Therefore the republican
boss Of New York Mr.. Platt, met with re-
sistance when he attempted to dictate the
annointnents in the custom house. Mr..
Erbardt. feeling that he alone was response
BILE for the manner in which his great Office
was administered declined to submit to the
/ dictation Of Jss Platt, or any other boss
He was. of course forcei TO resign. Boss
Platt. having the sympathy and support of
TIE administration at Washington, was
greater political power than MIR. Erhardt.
This case of MI. Erhardt shows In a
striking m amer the character and pur-
poses OF the Harrison administration. The
=
only secondary consideration. Mr.. Harri
son wants a denomination, and he intends
to use the public patronage to get it. The
New York custom house contains thousands
of employees, and those who do not use their
influence in behalf OF Mr. Harrison need not
expect to hold their places very long.
Now that Mr.. Ernardt is out of the way
Boss Flatt will fill the custom house with
political workers who will devote more
attention to getting solid delegation to the
national convention from New York for
Mr.. Harrison than to their official duties,
and if they neglect their duties they will
not be in danger of dismissal Boss Platt
will take care of them. He is the spokes-
man of the administration in New York,
and his will with respect to federal patron
age is law.
This turning an honest and competent
man out OF office because of his refusal to
obey the commands of political boss IS
something that the people cannot contem-
plate without a feeling of indignation.
However. acts like these are characteristic
of the Republican party. IL is pretty safe
TO say that at no time during its history has
it acted as if it believed that public office
is a public trust, According to its view
the officers are to be used as rewards for
services and as a means of securing effect
i've political work.
Doubtless the young man who succeeds
Mr.. Erhardt will do what is required Of
him. He will not antagonize Boss Platt.
and, therefore, be will be satisfactory to
the administration. So far as his office is
concerned he will be igure-head, but out
side of his office he will be as active an as
sistant as the administration could desire
Boss Platt to have.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
Collector Clark is Too Cheerful

Some of the New York newspapers are
affecting TO be greatly Mortified at the char
acter and conduct Of the United States COL
lector of the Texas port of EI Paso, who IS
SAID to have been charged with drinking
whisky and playing poker. in complaint
to the treasury department which is de-
scrlbed as being couched in such language
that the secretary only examined it at the
risk OF reading literature which might
properly be excluded from the mail" In
that event the secretary has manifestly ne
elected his plain duty by not Immediately
referring the communication to the depart
ment of justice for the prosecution of the
offender, who, probably, is rival repub-
| lican aspirant for the office, and who seeks
to GUST his successful competitor in that
way.
But the collectors capability is not
assailed, and his integrity is unquestioned.
Whether these are the striking peculiarities
of the case which excite the amazement OF
the New York editors is not explained But
it is probably the undoubted honesty of the
man that they cnnot understand. Aver
age New YORK oliice~holders are not tram
meled in that way. Yet it is quite safe to
say that they absorb more intoxicants and
do far more different sorts of gambling, be-
side what little in the way Of bribery and
embezzlement they can conveniently work
In, than the Texas official ever dreamed of.
No one could find on the whole surface of
the American continent lot of men who
would average up greater proportion OF
Ignorance, dishonesty and vice than the
politicians of New York city. Still these
people are backed up" by some of tine
most highly respected and influential citi-
zens" of that town.
Those "most highly respected and influ-
entail citizens of Ell Paso, ;" who are alleged
to have backed up" Collector Clark in his
position that drinking and playing poker
are not incompatible with the character of
gentleman and a United States official
are probably only his political partisans
who may or may not be all that he claims
for them in point of responsibility. But
the chances are that they do not represent
the general sentiment of the church people.
At the same time if the Harrison admin
istration intends to set up rigid standard
of morality that shall taboo drinking and
card playing as frailties disqualifying citi-
zens to hold office, nearly the whole Re-
publican party would be debarred and the
party would promptly fall to pieces. 1t
would not be easy nor wise for the Presi-
dent to undertake to prescribe in what diet
and amusements his governmental subordi.
mates should indulge. 1t would have a
tendency to greatly divert his political fol-
lowing.
Compared with republicans elsewhere.
Collector Clark appears to be a pretty fair
specimen of man. Still they are all re-
publicans, and it is only amusing to hear
some Boosting their superiority to others
Let them fight it out in their own vocifer-
Gus way. It's none of our funeral.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01

HEALTH is WEALTH

DR.. E G. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN To-.
NENT, guaranteed specific for Hysteria LAT
ness, Commissions. Fits Nervous NenraIo;-al
Headache Nervous Prostitution caused bv tbaS3 -
OF alcohol or tobocco WalIefuIness Mentai M 1se
preston, Softening OF the Brain resultinS i; .,
santy and leading to misery. decay and daat ~
Premature Old Age. Barrenness, Loss of pam
IN either sex. Involuntary Losses and Sperm.r
orrhoea caused by over-exertion Of the brain as
abuse or overindulgencA. Each box confsju.
one month s treatment 81 90 box. or six boass
for IS OQ sent by mail prepaid on recent ~ 1,is
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES price,
To cure any case With each order racaix,a,I -
US for six boxes, accompanied with As N yys
will send the purchaser our written eUaranntoe
TO refund the money if the treatment does n0s
effect cure. Guarantees issued only nv TIM
HEIDI DRUG CO. Sole Agents, Savannah a. ~
For Chatting, Prickly Heat, use Boracine Toisi
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
A prummer,s Remedy.

One night this spring, on a train coming east
on the Erie road, says the New York World,
the porter of sleeping car aroused half a dozen
of the male sleepers to ask if they had anything
with them to cure a case of the collie A drum
mer for city hardware house fumbled around
in his coat and finally said:
Heres a box of soda mints which NAV helm
him. He can use the whole box and be banged
to him, for he's no business to have colicn'
Nothing further was heard of the case until
morning. when strapping young man, with q
Harvest look to his hair, came into the sleeper
with the mint-box in his hand and inquired for
the drummer and said:
Took EN- all but one, and they smashed nv
collie right in the eye. How much to pay?''
Nothing, sir. I'm only too glad TO have
been of service to you"
When the other mad gone the drummer
opened the box and We saw his hair trying to
climb up.
"Great Scots boys, but what do you think"
he gasped.
What is IT,
81 gave him the wrong box and he's swal.
lowed eleven bone collar buttons"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
Thrifty MOrmOns.


If it were not for their religion, the
! Mormons would be very desirable citizens.
! They are Industrious and thrifty. Where
ever they settle the face of the country
quickly changes. The treeless plaius be-
come dotted with orchards and fields of
waving grain, aud the forests are removed
| to make room for farms.
Tue Mormons who have emigrated to
Mexico are prospering They are mainly
located in the states of Sonora and Chihua-
| hua. They have been there only few
years, but they have accomplished wonders
They have made more improvements than
the native population has in centuries.
Their comfortable homes and productive
farms are the envy Of their Mexican
neighbors.
There is pretty steady emigration from
Utah to Mexico, and there are reasons for
thinking that it Will increase rhe Nor
mons of Utah and Idaho pretend that they
have given up polygamy, but vast num-
Der Of them haven't. They may not prac-
tice it because they are afraid to, but they
believe in it, and that is why the emigrn~
ton to Mexico is going to increase. In that
country, at present, they can do as they
please with respect to polygamy, and they
think probably that there will never be
any interference there with that feature Of
their religion.
The Mormons ere restless in this coun-
try. In Utah and Idaho, where they were
masters of the situation so long, the Cen.
tiles have secured the upper hand. The
Mormon movement TO Mexico, therefore.
may assume immense proportions within a
very few years. There will be no attempt
to check it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01

Diplomatic amenities did not prevent a
Chicago police magistrate from fining a
Russian diplomat S25 for disorderly con-
duct In the hog metropolis it appears to
be the practice to simply size up man and
bleed him for about all they think he can
produce when they can get their clutches
on him. Their hog-killing instances lead
them to regard every stranger within
them gates" as another legitimate subject to
he worked for what he is worth" and they
proceed in no gentle manner to work him.
They're trying to get a crowd of strangers
TO come u their big show.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-01
OTR NEMYORk OFFICE.

Ms. J. ]. FLYNN, Genera! Advertising agent
Of the MORNING NEWS. office % Park ROW.
New York. All advertising business outside OF
the states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro-
lima will be managed by him.
The MoFYrNe EEws is on file at the following
nlaoes where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
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