The Russellville Democrat., 1891-05-21

squencht their thurst at the same spring; our old mares both had stars in their forreds: the measles broke out in both famerlies at nearly the same period; our parients (Betsy's and mine) slept reglarly every Sunday in the same meetin house, and the nabers used to ob- sarve, How thick the Wards and Peas Ieys airg It was surblime site, in the spring of the year, to see our sevral mothers (Betsy's and mine) with their gowns pin'd up so thay couldn't sile em, affecshunitly Bilin sope together 6 abooz- in the nabers.
 Altho I hankered intensly arter the object of my affecshuns I darsunt tell her X the fires which was rain in my manly 2uzzum. I'd try to do it. but my tung would kerwollop up agin the roof of my mowth & stick thar, like deth to deseast Afrikan or a country postmaster to his offiss
 Twas earn still mite in Joon All mater was husht and nary zeffer dis turbed the screen silens. I sot with Betsy Jane on the fense of her farther's pastur. Wed bin rompin threw the woods, kullin Hours & driving the wood churck from his Nativ Lair (so to speak, with long sticks. Wall, we sot thar on the fense, swingin our feet two and fro, blushln as red as the Baldinsyille skool house when it was fust painted. and lookin very simple, make no doubt. My rite arm was ockepied in ballunsing myself on the fense. while my left was woundid luvinly round her waste.
 cleared my throat and tremblinly sed, Betsy. you're a Gazelle."
 You're sheep"
 Sez I. Betsy. think very muchly of you
 Il don't bleeve word you say-so there now culn.''
 ''I wish thar was winders in my Sole sed I. '.so that you could see some of my feelins. There's fire enuff in here, sed I, strikin my buzzum with my fist, ito bile all the corn beef and turnips in the naberhood. Versoovius and the Crit ter ain't a circumstans!
 She bowd her he'd down and com menst chawin the strings of her sun bonnet A
 Ar could you know the sleeplis mites worry threw with on your account, how vittles has seized to be attractiv to me 6 how my lims has shrunk up, you wouldn't dowt me. Case on this wastin form and these ere sunken cheeks" -
 should have continnered on in this strane probly for sum time. but unfort- nitly lost my ballunse and fell over into the pastur kersmash, tearin my close and seveerly daInagin myself zine rally.
 Betsy Jane sprung to my assistance in hubble quick time and dragged me 4th. Then drawin herself up to her full hite she said:
 "I won't listen to your noncents no longer. Jes say rite strate out what you're drivin at. If you mean gettin hitched, I'M INT
 considered that air enuff for all prac- tical purpusses, and we proceeded imme- jitely to the parsons. & was made 1 that very mite.
 (Notiss to the Printer; Put some stars
 here.)
 
 I've parst threw many tryin ordeels sins then, but Betsy Jane has been troo as steel By attendin strickly to hizniss I've amarsed handsum Pittance. No man on this footstool can rise & and git up & say ever knowinly injered no man or wimmin folks, while all agree that my Show is ekalled by sew and exceld by none, embracin as it does wonder ful colleckshun of Twin wild Beests of Pray. snaix in grate profushun. end !sss variety of life-siss wax fggirs. & the only traned kangaroo in Amerilsy-- the most amoozin little ouss ever intro juced to discriminatin public.
 WAX FIGURES vs SHAKESPEARE.
 0sTo THR WING 1850 MT. Editor:
 Itake my Pen in hand to inform yu that I'm in good helth and trust these few lines will find yu injoyin the same blessins wood also state that I'm now on the summir kampane. As the Poit sez-
 inc erfote, inc eriote
 On the Swift rollin tied
 An the Rovir is free
 Bizniss is scarcely middlin, but Sirs l manige to pay for my foode and raj ment puncktooally and without no grumblin. I'm travelin with tent. which is better nor hirin hauls My show konsists of serious of wax works, snakes, paneramy kalled Grand Movin Diarea of the War in the Cry near, komic songs and the Cangeroo, which larst little cuss continners to kon- duct hisself in the most outrajus stile. started out with the idear of maxim my show grate Moral Entertainment, but I'm kompeled to sware so much at that air infurnal Kangaroo that Tn trade this desine will be frustrated to some extent. And while speakin of remines me that sum folks urn up their nosis at shows like mine. 'ayin they is low and not 1t to be pater- aized by people of high degree. Sirs, I | nanetane that this is infernul nonsense. | manetane that wax figgers is more ele- | 1atin than awl the plays ever wroten. ! Take Shakespeer for instunse. Peple \ hink heze grate things, but kontend | leze quite the reverse to the kontrary. What sort of sense Is thare to King | -eer. who gose round cussin his dar- f era, ehawin hay and throin straw at | olks, and larfn like silly old koot and making ass ofhisself ginerallys Thare's drs. Mackbeth-sheze mise kind of voomon to have round aint she. Q put in old Mack, her husband, up to slayin lunkan with . cheexe knife. while hexe ayin frvadly visit to their house. Ql Es hiiy moral, spoze, when shc larfs gildly and sea. "gin me the daggers-- le let bis bowels out, or words to that ifeck-l say. this Is awl sfrickly prop CT spoxe9 That Jack Fawlstarf is l kewise immoral old cusa. take him !