The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-10-28
PITH AND POINT.

Capital stock Extract of beef
Puck. #
Nothing succeeds like SUCCESSOR
Puck.
Alphabetical order-Send me set Of
child's blocks.-Lye. .s
The name feature of the lion is his
beard.-Galreston Ne,os. -
To the iniolent man every movement
Is labor movement.-Boston Courier.
The wheelman's tournament generally
takes place when he's learning. Column
bus Rost. =
"I have picture in my minds eye" !"
"Drawn upon your imagination, sup;
pose. ."-Puck.
The campaign speaker with the big-
gest mouth is not always the best orator.
-New York Journal. 81,
Operating surgeon--''Is the next pa
tient readya" Hospital Patient-"Yes;
I've made my will."-Puek.
An old squaw counting her wampun
was probably the original Indian sum-
mer.-Binghanston Republican.
A horse may lower his record, but it
doesn't follow that a man can do 1t with
impunity.-Roehester Post Ezpress.
The man who skips as he reads book
cannot be a good judge of it, although
he passes many sentence.-Puek.
Flats-"You are not playing with the
band to-day9" Sharrs-''No; I sent Q
substitoot. ."-Binqhamton Republican,.
The first thing a poor man does and
the last thing rich man does is to rush
into law suit.-Binghamton Republican.
The Lick telescope shows 10o, ,00o, 600
stars, but q lick without telescope
frequently does as well.-Chieago Times.
=. 1t is well enough to tell man when he
is in trouble to look on the bright side.
The rub is to find the bright side to look
at.-Atehison Globe.
A packing-box dawned on his sight;
The tramp exclaimed in great delight:
"I see where Pm to sleep tonight
Excelsior"
-Puck.
A Massachusetts man recently killed
his wife with an axe. Still this thing OF
being married first and aXed afterward
will never become popular. r.-Tezas Syt-
ings. .Natt's
"The Very Latest" There's man in
our club who is always the last to see
the point of either joke or story. we
call him "the latest inteliigence."-
Judy. ~.
The experienced airt never lets neg
righteous indignation become apparent
before the kiss. It looks just exactly ss
we'll afterward and it dosn't spoil the
fun.-Somerylk Journal.
"How did you ever happen to become
so leau?" inquired the visitor at the dime
museum. II was born SO, sir" replied
the living skeleton with dignity. 81
began life poor boy."-Chieago tn
6une. .
"It is all very well for those fellows
to soy that they can create a rain storm
at any time" said NJ. P. Cunious; "bus
what I want to see is man that can
raise the wind when he wants to"-
Boston Bulletin.
"And you rejected hima" 81 did,"
"He has the reputation of being large
hearted man." "That's the trouble with
him; he is too large-hearted. He can
love half dozen women at the same
time. ."-Caps Cod Item.
A woman runs locomotive on the
Cairo e Kauawha Valley Railroad In
West Virginia and makes schedule time
Notwithstanding the impulse she must
have to hold ND her train at every cross
ing.-Dstroit Free Press
uDobb of the academy is great stick.
lcr for the proprieties," said Sincere at
the studio. Why, when he painted
his famous marine, The Dying Whale
he did the whale in oil and the sea in
water colors. - Chicago Neaos.
Customer-''Er, how about the lasting
qualities of this hat2" New Clerk
"Oh, that's all right. We've had 1t in
the store for more than five years, and
YOU can see for yourself it is as good as
new. w."-IndMnapolis Journal.
Collector --':I have been to your Office
number of times, out have never sue
cecdcd in finding you in. Where can
you be fouud?" Impeounious Debtor
IL an, always in financial distress. You
,an always ind me there. .':-Te1as SJt-
uigs.
''Didu't the poet from whom you vera
reading refer in one of his lines to the
germ of immortality" inquired Mrs.
30 hcr husband. Yes; bus that
strikes me as earring the microbe theory
too far."--.St. Louis lNsdicaL and ,Sur9i-
cal Journal.
Thin Passenger (after half an hours
torture)-"i thluk it would be far If
people were charged by weight" Stout
Pasoenger-"You may be thankful it
isn't so, as no conductor would thpk it
worth his while to pick you up."Ecin-
einnati Times Star.