The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-11-24
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
MIR. Bowser Gets Another of His
"Streaks" On.

TWO as gOOd as PIE, n then all OF q
sudden and with no valid excuse they
will break out in the most surprising
manner. When Mr.. Bowser left the
house after lunch the other day he was
in great good humor and stopped
to say:
u think I'll stop and get tickets for
the theatre tonight and well put in an
enjoyable evening"
When he returned at six he assembled
the steps with a scuff! scuff! scuff!
unlocked the front door, gave it a kick
and made his way into the back parlor
to grOwl:
Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to run
this house on a system?"
"Why, what is wrong, dear?" she
queried in reply.
"There's lots of things wrong! [
had scarcely left the Office when this
Overcoat button came off. I laid this
coat off the 5th Of last May, and you've
had five months to secure that button"
But 1 didn't know it was loose.
Why didn't you tell mes"
"Why haven't l told you ten thou
sand other things that ought to be
done! There are wives who glance at
their husbands clothing once or twice
a year and discover what repairs are
needed. l want a darning-needle and
a piece of string
But I'll sew the button on"
No; I'll do it myself. I don't want
to take up your valuable time"
And despite Mrs Bowser's ~entreaties
and prOtestations he threaded theneedle
with a piece Of string and sat down
and sewed on the button. He got it
an ineh out of line with the button
hole, of course, and of course it
wouldn't have stayed five minutes in
any event, but he had carried his point.
When he had laid the coat aside he
asked:
Have we got a brad-awl and g
piece of waxed-end in the housei"
q don't think SO. What do you
want of them?"
"To mend my suspender, Of course.
l hadn't got a hundred feet from the
house this noon when it busted on me
as usual. If there's another house in
the United States run like this one I'd
like to hear of it and go and sit down
on the doorstep for half an hour. Per
haps l IAN repair it with a piece Of
clothes line until [ can get down town
again"
But you can't blame me, Mr.. Bow
ser" she said.
ooh, of course not; you r not to
blame for anything!'
But how did l know your suspen-
der was ready to break?'
That's all right, Mrs. Bowser! I'll
get q piece Of clothesline or barbed
wire and makerepaires and you needn't
worry at all! There are wives and
wives"
Are we going to the theatrel" she
asked as he began pacing up and down
the room with his hands under his
COat-tails.
"Whatw he shouted in a voice which
jumped the cat out Of the room.
Are we going to the theatre'"
Theatre! Theatre! Have you gone
crazy3 Mrs. Bowser, look-a-there, and
then talk theatre to mel"
He unlaced one of his shoes and
kicked it off, and there, at the end Of
his big toe, was a hole about as big as
a nickel.
Twas intending to go to thetheatre."
he said as he stood and pointed at the
hole, but I can't get away this even
ing. l have got to stay home and darn
my socks. That hole has starteda corn
on my toe this very day"
Mr.. Bowser, those socks were bran
new yesterday morning when you pus
them on I" exclaimed Mrs. Bowser with
a good deal of energy.
"Oh, of course! l probably cut that
hole with the shears! [ want a darn
ing-needle and some string or some
thing. AS long as I've got to take care
of my clothes through the rest of my
life I might as well Begin tonight"
Mrs. Bowser protested, but he
threaded a darning needle with a piece
of red string and used up about eight
feet of it in darning the hole. He ap-
peared to be growing good natured,
and she ventured to ask:
aren't we to go to the theatre to-
nightf'
IF we get through in time we
may"
"Get through with WHAT"
ttNro RnwSnr y he said al ha re-