The Bossier banner., 1891-12-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

--Subseriber-''Why is my paper SO
damp every issue?" Editor-"Because
there is so much due omit"
Young Bride-"What shall cook
to-day, George?" Young Husband-"O,
don't care what, but I'd like to know
what we're going to have to eat"
How many seconds are in a min
ute?'' DO you mean real minute,
mamma, or one of your great big wait
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Did He Pop?- He-"Talking about
names, wish could get mine changed
think it is too ugly for anything" She
(enthusiastically)-O 1 don't, l think
it is just lovely, ,'-Demorest' Magazine.
"A petrified hog has been found near
Clarksville, Tenn. 1t is supposed he was
petrifed by seeing another hog uncross
his legs in a street car when a we'll
dressed woman wanted to pass. -But-
falo Express a g. aase
Same Old Story.-Gesar the Great
+ Crossing the Rubicon) n)-'tHave you got
any ferry tickets with you?" John
Smith-"No, haven't. Knowing that
was going to cross the ferry, left them
all at home" " ..t sI.
"A Self-Protec ted Female. - She
20, sir; am so terrified DO you think
there is any danger of my meeting any
THE yes on this lonely road?" He-"No,
madam; not if they see you first. -
Worcester Record. e17
5,-Mr. j Dolley (tenderly) = ''Miss
Scadds, indulge the hope of some day
winning your love- Miss Scadds
Shaking her head)-'My friends tell
me that you indulge too much, Mr..
Dolley."-Epoch. ta -ss.l.# .o
He Had Been There.-Mr. Money.
wed-''O, dear! 1t seems to me that you
never can find the way to your pocket" :"
Mrs. Moneywed-'Yous found your
way to it without much difficulty when
we were first married. - Brooklyn
Eagle. i1t.<jt
--Critic-"Say, what's the matter
with that love scene in the second act?
Same people you had last year, amt
they?" Manager-''Yes, but, hang it,
they went and got married soon after
we played here last on."-BOston
| News.
Can read your paper?" asked the
man in the rear seat. Il don't know
whether you can or not" replied the
Boston man ahead of him, but you
may try if you choose" /" and it took the
brakeman, the news agent and the con-
ductorto septNate them. Toledo Blade.
Yes remarked the young man,
'.Miss Caster is truly fortunate young
woman. She was born with a silver
spoon in her mouth" ''And don't you
think" rejoined his companion, who
had been attentive to the. lady, that it
must have been an ice cream spoon?'
Washington Star.
"A Cautious Employer Employer
Scan you write a good hand?'' Ap-
plicant-z"Yes, sir. Employer-'Can
| you initiate handwriting?" Applicant
Yes, sir, perfectly" Employer
'.You can, eh? Then don't want you.
You might initiate mine. Goed-day,
sir Yankee Blade. Il. = rf sr
| "A. Fool in Two Ways - Jinls :
''Well, if ever there was a fool that
man is one. He's worth a cool million,
yet he stands waiting for a newsboY to
bring him two cents change out of a
nickel he gave the boy for three cent
paper" Blinks-''WeIl, he is fool.
Of course he'll never see that boy
again."--Demorest' Magazine.
why will you associate with such
men as Flimsey?" asked Brown. "For
my part, always endeavor to associate
with men who are my superiors." ''It
can't be hard work for you to fnt
them" replied Fogg, "but am differ
ent from you. lam always willing tha
my friends should associate with theii
superiors." fsEA ts