The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-06-24
SOMEWHAT FAcgTlous.

a 0UWcWN@t FACE at00S@ te
The world would bo much better
than II Is If men would live up to their
obituary notices. Chicago Light.
Carlyle once said: Il only wish some
competent man would come and make
a slave Of me. The chief use OF free
dom 10 to be able to enslave YOURSELF
Guest (suspIciously eyeins the crum-
pied sbeetsl-I.ook here. landlord, this
bed has been slept In. Landlord (tri-
umphantly(-That's what it's fur =
Brooklyn Eagle. lsall
"A man who goes around advertised
as an evangelist, and taking contracts,
as Il were, to convert SO many souls in
such length of time, is q humbug.-
Rec j. r. Cooley.
An Amiable wife: aMy wife is so
clover. She finds out my wishes just
by looking into my eyes, and then
goes and docs the exact opposite. p
Fieigende BIotter.
Slightly Personal: Judge-What
sort Of a man was It that committed
tue assault? Constable--IIe was q
dried up, Insignificant craythur, about
yer own size, yer honor. +
A Murdcrous Implement: WIther-
spoon-See here, WesihalI, why are
you cverlastimgiy sinsing2 Westhall
just to kin time. Witherspoou-
You have a good weapon.-PriRcetOn
Tiger.
"You have spurned mop he cried
blttorly. IL will 20. into tho busy
world. will fight and win. My
name shall be known aud my riches
envied-" @Then," she interrupted,
"try me again-"-Judge.
Auctioneer-IIere is an excellent
timepiece. Solid gold case, ,stemwinder,
full jcwelled, best Waltham movement.
How much am offered9 Patron
Five dollars. Ancti0neer (hurriedly)
Take it.-OHahd Herald.
Speeches 10 be Lived Down: Guest
We'll, goodby, Ned. This is really
charming little place ofyours. Pleased
Host-Yes, but 1t is rather bare at this
season. hope the trees will be grown
a good bit before your next visit, old
fellow.-PHnch.
Bobby TO his big sister)-I heard
Mr. Featherly talking about the bis
cults you made for tea last night, Clara.
Big Sister with assumed indiffcrence)
We'll, did be say they were nice,
Bobby2 Bobby-No; be said they
gave him indigestlon.-M Y. Sun.
Mrs. B.-You talked in your sleep
last night, Edward. Mr. b. (uneasily)
What did say? Mrs. B.--It sounded
like aante up" and ajackpot.s Mr. b.
(with presence of mind THAT'S Vola-
puk, my dear, and means atiod bless
our home Kansas City journal.
A Select Banquet: @That's a fat pos
sum you have there, Jones. What are
YOU going 10 do with him |" a0h, |
am going to have a big possun sup
per tonight" aIndeedl And who
win be thcrcT H0nly two; me and
the possuln. .v--Aflaata ConstitatiOa
Intuition Is defined by a modern
philosopher to be athe art of knowing
the moment when a kiss win please =
II, however, you feel yourself deficient
In tho said art, keep on trying TIL you
strike the happy moment This Ia
the voice of cxpcrience.-Minaeup
Tribune.
Speeches to be Lived Down: Miss
Spinster (fiuttcredl- dl-CertainIy, Mr..
Oldboy, III dance this set with you
with pleasure. You are very kind.
Mr.. Oldboy Crying to put her. at easel
Don't mention II, Miss Spinster.
The others, you know, are all too young
for man of my years.
A Profound Impression: Mrs. e.
You should have heard Mr.. Pound
texts sermon this morning, dear. i
don't know when I've been so impress
cd. Mr. E.--Did you walk home y
Mrs. E.---No, took street car, and
the conductor never asked me for my
fare. Wasn't 1 lucky 2--Epoch. cat
Minister--WelI, Bobbie, Pm glad to
see you In our Sunday School at last.
Is this your first Sunday Bobby
with the expression Of martyrl--l
Vas, sir. Minister---And don't you
find 1t pleasant Bobbie--(brighten- |
Ing up)--Oh, / reckon Kin stand 1t |
tin alter the Christmas tree.--Tid-
Bits.
Caesars RemuneratiYe Job: Caesar
(at tho woodpile)-My nanny gives
me cent evey day fur chopin dish |
yere wood. Abe (enviously) dat SO
Watcher. do wild oil dat money! Caes-
ar--Mammy's savin' It up for me TO
buy new axe wild when dish yerc
one gifts played out>-HdrPes's Young
People, So tt 4'Nat1- 'z.sai
A Practical Proposition: Seven
yeaF-old Johnny, observing the shabby |
appearance of bis overcoat, asked his
mother, "Maw, Is paw richr "Yes,
my dear he Is worth two million dol |
lars.T AWbat in, NAV p sWcI, he
values you at one million and the
baby at another milhon.1 After o
thought Johnny remarked
Nav, ask him TO sell The baby and
bny us Boston GLo6e.0