The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1891-05-21
SOME FRESH WITTICISMS.
CAREFULLY SELECTED FROM
OUR HUMOROUS EXCHANGES
Getting off Cheap--Which OF Them
Won the Bet--She Knew as Much
as the KIng--They
We're Even.
Getting Off Cheap.

AS tne Train going DOWN from
Charleston to Savannah ran in on q
siding to wait for the up-train to pass,
we saw large alligator in a pond on
the other side OF the fence. This pond
had been made by fill in the rail-
road bed, and was about 200 feet
long by 40 broad. On the opposite
side, and not twenty feet from the
water, was a negro cabin, and ne
gro stood in the open door looking at
the train. A dozen men leaped to the
ground, pulled their revolvers and be
gan firing at the reptile. He was hit
by two or three bullets at once, and
down he went out OF sight. AS he dis
appeared the negro came running
down to us hat in hand. and pointing
to a hole made in the head-gear
by glancing bullet, he exclaimed:
"Now, den, whar' is dat white man
who shot dat bullet?"
No one could say, as we had all
been firing, but one OF the shooters
finally stepped forward and said:
"See here, Moses, it was an acc client,
and though it was a close shave you
have not been hurt"
"But lie got chill, sab! When dat
bullet went ping frew my ole hat, l
fought | was dun sent fur and killed
dead, an it's brung de ager back on
me-"
"Well, how much damages do you
claim?"
"Fo' bits, sah-fo bits an not
cent less. doan' want to rob no.
body, but dat bullet might her went
right frew my head"
We raised the half dollar and hand
ed it over, and as Moses dropped it
into his pocket and turned away he
continued:
"Doan feel hard, gem'len, but owes
a duty to my family. Ell dat bullet
had killed me de ole woman would her
stuck out tor two big dollars, eben if
it broke de hull crowd. "-Exchange.
Which of Them Won the Bet2
The first bicycle had reached Chad
wick, and as it stood in its crate on
the little depot platform. everybody
IN town came up to examine it.
eyer don't mean ter say that 'er
man kin ride tibet thing?" questioned
old Silas Pink.
'That's what they say" said long
lank young Simpson. 81 amt seed
hit done, but ther agents says hits
easy"
can only them many wheels?"
"Two's er nuff."
''I'll bet you my hat hit KANT be
did,"
"All right" responded Simpson;
putter up"
Just at the moment the arrange
ments of the wager were completed, q
dapper young man came up, and
with a strong arm pulled the Stats
rom the crate. He took theglittering
machine out, gave its pedals few
whirls, nimbly jumped into the saddle
and was off like the wind, down the
gravel road.
'"There," exclaimed Simpson, before
the bicycle had got thirty feet away,
gimme that hat"
1t was i'll luck or pride or something
else that madethe young man run in
to small rock, and nature did the
'est. The machine stopped and the
'lder went over into the road. When
'he doctor got through and put him
IN the train for home, old 81 and
simpson were arguing over who won
he bet. He had shown his ability to
lde, Simpson said but the old man
IT'LL declares bicycles are failure
Detroit Free Press.
She Knew as Much as the King.
King Frederick vi. of Denmark.
While travelling through Jutland, one
lay entered village school and found |
he children lively and intelligent, and |
Quite ready to answer his questions.
"Well, youngsters" he said, "what
Ire the names of the greatest kings of
Denmark" With one accord thew |
'ried out: "Canute the Great, Waldo |
mar, and Christian w."
just then a little girl, to whom the
'choolmaster had whispered some
hing stood up and raised her hand.
do you know another" asked the
ting.
"Yes-Frederick VI.W
What great act did he perform?"
The girl hung her head and STAN
nered out, 81 don't know"
"Be comforted, my child" said the
ing; 81 don't know either"
They Were Even.
A farmers boy in Scotland was