The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-12-13
CHRISTMAS Is COMING.
And Here is the Best of All Christmas Stories,
Doctor Marigold
BY CHARLES DICKENS.


/ IA sooner give it You if you was good
looking enough. Here, missisl chuck
the old man and woman into the cart,
put the horse to. and drive 'em away and
bury emil"
Such were the last words of Willum
Marigold, my own father. and they were
carried out by him and by his wife. my
as ought to know, having followed as
mourner.
Ny father had been a lovely one in his
time at the Cheap Jack work, as his dy-
ing observations went to prove. But
top him. don't say it because it's my
self, but because it has been universally
acknowledged by all that has had the
means OF comparison. have worked at
| it. have measured myself against other
public speakers members of parliament,
platforms. pulpits, counsel learned in the
law--and where have found EN- good,
'em, and where | have found 'em bad,
have let 'eln alone. Now I'll tell you
what. mean to go down into my grave
declaring that of all the callings i'll used
in Great Britain, the Cheap Jack calling
is the worst used. Why Amt we pro-
fession? Why amt we endowed with
privileges? Why are we forced to take
! out hawkers license, when no such
thing is expected of the political hawk
ers7 Where's the difference betwixt us?
Except that we are Cheap Jacks and
they are Dear Jacks, / don't see any diff
ference but what's in COR favor.
For LOOK herel Say It's elecuon time.
am on the footboard of my cart in the
market place on Saturday night | put
up a general miscellaneous lot. | say:
Now here, my free and independent
voters, Pm going to give you such a
chance as you never had in all your born
days, nor yet the days preceding. Now
III show you what | am going to do
with you. Here's pair Of razors that'll
shave you closer than the board of
guardians; here's a fatiron worth its
weight in gold; here's frying pan arti-
ficially favored with essence Of beef
steaks to that degree that you've only
got for the rest OF your lives to fry bread
and dripping in it and there you are re-
| plete with animal food: here's genuine
1 chronometer watch, in such solid sill
yer case that you may knock at the door
with it when you come home late from
social meeting, and rouse your wife and
family, and save up your knocker for
| the po5tman, and here's half dozen din
ner plates that you may play the GYM
Al txoI.
/ fractions Stop I'll throw you in an
other article, and I'll give you that. and
it's rolling pin; and if the baby can
| only get it well into its mouth when its
! teeth is coming and rub the gums once
with it they'll come through double, in
| a fit of laughter equal to being tickled.
Stop againl I'll throw you in another
/ article, because don't like the looks of
| you, for yeu haven't the appearance OF
buyers unless lose by you, and because
! I'd rather lose than not take money to-
night, and that's looking glass, in
which you may see how ugly you look
when you don't bid What do you say
now2 Cornel Do you say pound? Not
| you,sfor You haven't got it. Do you say
ten shillings2 Not you. for you owe
more to the tallyman. Well. then, I'll
tell You what I'll do with you. I'll heap
! 'em all on the footboard Of the cart
there they arel razors, fatiron, frying
pan, chronometer watch. dinner plates,
| rolling pin and looking glass take 'em all
away for four shilIings, and I'll give you
sixpencc for your troublelr This is me,
| the Cheap Jack But on Monday morn
! ing, in the same market place, comes
the Dear Jack on the busting s--his cart
| land what does he say?
"Now my free and independent wot-
ers, am a-going to give you such
| chance Che begins just like mel '.as you
never had in all your born days, and
that's the chance of sending myself to
parliament Now I'll tell you what am
argoing to do for you. Here's the inter-
ests OF this magnificent town promoted
above all the rest of the civilized and I'M
civilized earth. Here's your railways
carried, and your neighbors' railways
jockeyed. Here's all your sons in the
postofice. Here's Britannia smiling on
you. Here's the eyes of Europe on you.
Here's universal prosperity for you, re-
pletion Of animal food, golden cornfelds,
gladstone homesteads, and rounds of ap-
plause from your own hearts, all in one
lot, and that's myself Will you take
me as / stand? You won't? Well, then,
I'll tell you what I'll do with you.
Come nowl I'll throw you in anything
you ask for. Therel Church rates,
abolition of church rates. more malt tax,
no malt tax, universal education to the
highest mark, or universal ignorance to
the lowest, total abolition Of fogging in
the army or dozen for every private
once month all round. Wrongs Of men
or rights of women--only say which it
shall be, take 'em or leave 'em, and I'm
OF your opinion altogether, and the lots
your own on your own terms. Therel
You won't take it yet! Well, then. I'll
tell you what I'll do with you. Come!
You are such free aud independent wot-
ers- and am SO proud Of you--you are
such a noble and enlightened constitu-
ency, and am so ambitious of the honor
and dignity Of being your member, which
is by far the highest level to which the
wings Of the human mind can soar
that III tell you what I'll do with you
III throw you in all the public houses in
your magnificent town for nothing.
Will that content you? It won't? You