davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

An ran IOr MS gun Win Ignter no8rG
Than ever he went to q dance.
Jest as he warm his shirt sleeves,
For the weather war warm an bright
An no hat-but should rim his musket,
Gret Gran'fther went to the fight
An thar on Bunker hillside,
Whar the smoke hung thick an gray,
He went a-gunnin' for redcoats
As you'd go for sparrers to-day.
Heyi but the balls were whistlin'
An the flashes KEN thick and fast,
But whos'ever musket had fust word,
Gret Gran'f'ther's had the last
Then q gunner was shot beside him,
That handled q six-pound gun;
An they called for q man to tend her,
An Gran'rther said he war one.
II amt never fred gum says he,
aBut I'll do my proudful best!
An II all you want is q man. colonel
I'm mebbe as good as the restn
An reckon he war! fer he stood thar,
An fred that six-pound gun,
Until every redcoat within his range
Had either dropped or run.
Then. all of Student, there come fash.
A crack. an q twinge, an a thrill.
An Granf'ther's right arm dropped BY his
side,
An hung thar limp an still
Jes' for minute, I've heard him say,
The hull world seemed to reel.
An q hummin' sound war In his ears,
Like Gran TIERS spinnin' wheel.
But he hadn't no time fer faintin',
Nor he had no time fer pain.
9It's well I'm left-handed!n says Gram
f'ther,
An he fred the gun again,
Bimeby, when the colonel found him,
AFTER the fight war done,
He war lynn all black like a Niger,
An senseless. along by the gun.
Then the boys made kind o. stretchers;
An jest Is they laid him atop,
He whispered, xThar warn't no bali, colonel,
So was obliged 70 Stop
Yes! that war the way Gret Gran ETHER At,
An the way he lost his arm;
But he shot with his left till the land war
free.
An then he come back to the farm
An he laid his musket across them hooks,
An thar It's laid to this day,
An spite o. you an tho sparrers. DanI,
Thar's whar it's goin' to stay.
The school bell! run. now, Sonny boyi
An thank ye fer standin' still
Whats thati ayr sHurrah for Gfet GRAM
An sHurrah for Banker Hui.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Tie Aaxd Of t;sss
deals lightly with a woman n
perfect health. But all func-
tional arrangements and dis
orders peculiar to women
leave their mark. You needn't
have them. DR.. Pierce's Fa,
vorite Prescription comes to
your rescue as no other medi
cine can. It cures them. For
periodical pains, prolapsus and
other displacements, bearing
down sensations, and all sf-
male complaints " and weak.
-nesses, it is a positive remedy.
It is a powerful, restorative
tonic and nervine, imparting
strength to the whole system
in general, and to the uterine
organs and appendages in par
ticular. It keeps years from
your face and figure but adds
years to your life. It's guar
aastesd to give satisfaction IN
every case. If it doesn't,
your money is returned.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

IMPURE blood is the primary cause OF the
majority of diseases to which the human
family il subject. The blood in passing
through the system visits every portion of
the body-if pure, carrying strength and Vi
tally; if inn pure, disease and death. Blood
poisoning is most dangerous. Prickly Ash
bitters will render the last impossible, and
will regulate the system so that health will
be a sure result.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11
q TIME IN PossUM RIDGE.

HEY celebrated the
glorious Fourth M
in the Postum RIDGE
settlement last year
Tor the first time,
and among the On
tertaining features
was an address by
Elder Tooter. In
the course Of his
Grafton he said:
We come hero to-
day to celebrate the
birth of American
Independence an
hev er good time.
ali. That's what
we come here for,
an we propose to
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

The man who talks in his deep Is not q
much of nuisance as the man who sleeps in
his talk. !.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Sometimes its the hardest kind of work to
get the strapping big fellow to buckle down
to work.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

The diplomat who said that tale-bearer
could not occupy high places never saw
monkey 60 for cocoanut tree.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Although henpecked husband may not b.
very smart he is generally shrewd man.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Smile ut the world and it will smile bacl
at you. Let it see you weep and 1t WI
laugh at you.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

The naughty girl sometimes turns up he
nose SO that it Will not be in the way.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11
oREr oRAN'F'THER.s.
By ,nA LAURA Z. R1cHAaDa

MAN AkHAri take eres
.HZzzz6NN Gran'fther's mus
N1(W NAN ket,
,GNX/1&AAN1e Thet he kerried at
MF - Bunker Hill.
AUi An 60 gunnin' for
II WYT&W With Solomon Judd
~ WD~ and Biuf
KID ~ You let that musket
y alone. Dan1!
An git down from tibet air stool
You've jest time enough to hold this yarn
Afore ye 90 OF to school.
Thar! don't ye wriggle and twist, Sonny!
The yarns for yer own new socks.
It's safer to hold than muskets,
With their triggers and riggers and locks
A musket, to shoot at sparrers!
Well. boys is up to sech tricks!
And that old one, too, that amt been touched
Sence Seventeen Seventy
But set more store by its rusty stock
Than the finest money can buy;
And II you'll stan stiddy, Dan'l.
I'll tell ye the reason why.
Ye never see Gret Gran'f'ther,
But you've seed his pictur, boy,
With the smilin' mouth, an the big brown
eyes
Jes' brimmin' with life an JOY.
Well, he warn't like that when seed HIM
But his sperrit war lively still,
For all his white hair az empty sleeve,
As 1t war at Bunker Hill.
An many's the time he told me,
Settin' here In this very cheer,
OF the fust time he shouldered that mus
ket,
In the Continental Year.
How out in the field a-mowin',
He seed the bay'net glance,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Fugitives from justice are posted in the
hide market.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Progressive euchre is not very progressive
when 1t leads to backsliding.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

Tho tribunal of tho Seine sentenced q
herman named Schneider to Eve years. inn
Rnsonment for taking photographs Of
french Notifications. The trial took place
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11
+ HE @Fathers of the

HE @Fathers of the
Republic" were not tho
sexagenarians and sep
tuagenarians of their
era On the contrary,
they were as q rule q
remarkably youthful
set of men. 1t is the
@wigs, queues and knee
breeches" which have
caused the misapDre-
hension. The pictures
in the school history
show white-haired men
who bear every appear
ance of being "well up
in years." and the child
instinctively thinks Of
them as old. Almost
superhuman wisdo m
oo ,onr;rad fn die.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-07-11

While salute was being fired on the reve-
nue. cutter Andrew Johnson, lying in Chicago
har6or, gun exploded, injuring q number
of the crew.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

heading south-southeast for the conclusion
OF the horses tail, and a white squall
should suddenly spring up from the west,
would tho captain be justified in taking q
reef in the s%tovepipe without consulting the
cook?"
The Maine man says 1t can not be
solved by any mathematical process he ever
heard of. and then doesn't he get a lee
ture? Our ears Jingle for him as Cadet
Captain NJ. STORMY. gravely, even sadly
points out to him the conformation and
dlsmay that must prevail in the I'll
news reaches his fellow-citizens that their
chosen representative had siRnalized hie
coming to the National Military academy
by a disastrous failure. The gentleman
from Maine 10 remandsd to his seat, and q
ianky youth from Illinois is sent to the
board to calculate the length, breadth,
weight and thickness of an innniteeimally
small piece of steel wire nj tell which
way it pointed, allowing 10 degrees varis-
tion for the compass at the latitude of
%Sangamon store, from which point the new
victim hailed. Mr.. Ferguson, of "Massou-
ra," was called upon to draw o map Of the
city of st. Louis, with population of each
and was sent down a. degenerate son Of
Missouri when he said he couldn't.
And 30 it went for two days. and yet.
within the week before examination, Cadet
M. had mos only accurately gagged the
knowledge of every plebs in his section.
but had found time to personally coach
those who were weak in their figures"
and land every one of his section a
winner in the entrance examination, up
to which time we hardly ever saw an
officer.
As for the preliminary Rotations in our
mother tongue, these were broader farces.
because the cadets intrustsd with the in
vestiRation lacked the dignity and expert
once of the seniors. They had no end Of
fun at our expense for day or two, max
ing us spell backwards the most stupen-
dous p%olysyllables they could think of.
write compositions on most absurd themes,
and sonnets to our swesthearts (unknown);
bat they, too, buckled too with will after
the preliminary frolio. and very few Of
their bewildsred pupils failed to pass the
required examination. These recitations
were kept up day after day until the whole
class arrived and appeared before the aca-
demio board. The whole system is now
abolished.
CHARLES KINs. Captain, U. 8. A.
COPYRIGHT.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

board wipers, bits of chalk, and a wooden
ruler or two made up the sun total OF fur
niture. A spruce cadet with the gold chew
rons of a captain on his gray arms entered
wards, stood attention with the little fingers
glued to the seams OF our trousers. He
glanced calmly around, and then in eour-
teous tones said: "Taks your seats, Rentle-
men''-the first words that had not been
howled at us in the form of some thunderous
order since the moment Of our MINIS
Then he took our names; the state from
which appointed, and in an almost p%aternally
pleasant way gave us a preliminary leo
ture. II am simply delegated, gentlemen,
to ind out how much you have learned
and studied before coming here. The rules
of tho academy require OF US all strict dis
cipline and decorum in the recitation rooms
as VOL as i in ranks. All the severe drill
and unpleasant badRering you are getting
is only means to an end. We've all had
to go through with it, and You must not
allow it to discourage you" How We
drank in his words and glanced hopefully
and Approximately at one another. Here
would do anything for him. One Of our
number ventured a long sigh of relief,
stretched his legs to the front, and lollsd
back in his seat as he would have done in
the "deestriot school, he had last attended,
and was promptly but g,avaly and court
oOusly feDuKeQ.
''Now, gentlemen said our mentor, ''as
each mans name is called he will spring to
the middle of the floor. stand attention, 70.
ceive his enunciation, face about, go to the
blackboard. write his name in upper right
hand corner, 90 to work, and as soon as
he has finished face to tho front n remain
at ease until called upon to reoite. Pay
strict attention. A cadet who asks to have
his enunciation repeated shows his Wits
we're wool gathering. MI. Moore"
Up jumps one OF tho gawkiest looking Ct
stands stiff as a crowbar facing his in
struotor. A few quick questions and drawl-
ing answers develop the fact that Mr..
Moore has gone into algebra as far ~ equa-
tions of the second degree, and then this
problem is popped at him without q seconds
pause:
"If three white men-one of them a mig
ger and the other a woman-start from the
same place at the same time and travel in
opposite directions, which will get there
frst?'
Mr.. Moore looks dazed, but, obedient to
orders, whirls about. steps to the board,
writes his name. scratches his head, and
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

in the eventful summer of go. Mcclellan
was battling along the banks of the Chick
ahominy when We luckless "plebss'' re-
ported for duty, and were escorted from
the adjutant's Office by that RrinninR little
runt of a drummer boy under the "bell-
button batteries'' at the east end of bar
racks. and were duly greeted with volleys
of these singing missiles and no less sting
ing CHAIR from the crowded windows.
The few com nissioned Ulcers on duty at
the time were so absorbed and anxious over
the news from the front that nobody had
time to bother his head about the new
cadets. We were left to the tender meroies
of the oldsters.
Even after this lapse of years ! some
times find myself laughing until my sides
ache over the experience of the first week.
Let me tell you in this chapter of what
were termed the preliminary Rotations"
In the last letter it was explained that the
policy of the government in those days was
to make the physical examination for ad-
mission strict as possible, and the mental
test 80 easy that almost any boy could
pass it. As two-thirds of those admitted
on this system failed to complete the four
years. course, it was found too expensive.
Now the entrance examination Is 30 exact
ing that l am morally certain that many
q fellow who got out all right and won his
diploma and commission in the sixties
would not, without weeks of study, get in
to-day.
Between the 1st and goth of June the
plebes came struggling in to barracks.
were speedily taken in hand and stormed
into shape by the trio of cadet corporals
detailed for the purpose and divided off
into sections of twelve or fourteen each,
and these sections were marched each
morning to some one of the rooms in the
grim old academic building. Half a dozen
cadets of the senior-the new-frst class
were selected to find out what the now
corners knew of arithmetic and algebra,
and as many of the new third class, who
but a year agone were as green as we, were
similarly designated as inquisitors and in
structors in reading, spelling and compost
ton. Grammar. history, geography. etc,
we're not then required.
As lone Ms / live / shall never forget the
frst recitation at West Point. For twenty
four hours we had been rasped, badgered,
rallied at for every mistake we made and
hosts that We did not make. Every man
who wore = gray coat and white trousers
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

who, boy-like, would be apt to hold them
selves a little higher than the Rreenhorns
from the western farms, and that was and
is something West Point could not tolerate
for an instant. The best ones friends and
aoquaintunces in the upper classes could do
for = candidate WAS bid him keep his tenn
per. hold his tongue, do what he was bid.
ard say nothing about it. Among the
cadets of the graduating GLASS who were
detailed on duty over us were two whom l
knew we'll; had often seen in my grand
fathers homs when | was Il freshman at
Columbia, and who had earnestly advocated
my coming to the Point, yet when our
no one could have told from the language
or manner of either of these instructors
that they had ever seen me before. There
was absolutely no difference whom on duty
between the treatment of my classmates
and myself, and thev we're perfectly right.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

was an object of dread and suspicion.
Even the three or four of our number who
had long been preparing for cadet life-had
often visited the Point and knew all about
lt-shrank from the tormentors, for it was
just such specimens the old cadets consid-
. 'mmon level. The principle was all tight.
noys who had seen it all, had, perohance,
personal friends in the corps, were the ones
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

visibly droops. A tall fellow from Maine.
sitting on my lett. is shaking with mirth
and audlbly giggles. All ~sternness now,
the instructor turns upon him. reminds
HIM that lsvity can never be tolerated. in
military duty. and orders him to take the
noor. The resultant inquisition develops
the fact that tho tall plebs ftou the Jaw.
mill state has studied even navigation. and
has seen every kind Of ship-eyen a Japan
Csc Junk. Hence his fateful first lesson:
Go to the board, sir, and solve this
problem in navigation: II a canal boat is
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25
THE EXAMINATION.

1t was a hot June morning when our four
sections were marched into the echoinp
hallway, and the one to which | was at
tached was FLED TO the left into a big
bare room on the east side. B%lackboards
on three sides, a long wooden bench on the
north md south, u stove in the middle. n
cheap wooden desk on Il little wooden plat
form between the windows. a sawdust-flled
wooden box for the Instructors spittoon, in
case he chswed tobacco, as most of the
officers did then. and very few do now;
some wooden pointers. wooden handled
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25
Wisdom's Violet Cream

IL tho most exquisite preparation in tho
world for softenina and whitening the
hands and face. 1t is not only a substitute
for, but in every respect superior to RlyyeI-
inc. cold cream, vaseline. and like prepare
tons. Try Il.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

-Four Hundred Miles as the Crow Flies
Is the distance covered in a single night by
the limited express trains of the Chicago,
Milwaukee O. st. Paul railway between the
Twin Cities of the northwest-St. Paul
and Minneapolis-and Chicago.
These trains are v~estibuled, electric
lighted and ste. m heated, with the finest
dining and sleeping car service in the
world.
The electric reading light in each berth
is the successfully novelty Of this progress
sive age, and is highly appreciated by all
regular patrons of this line. We wish
Others to know it's merits, as the Chicago.
Milwaukee d st. Paul railway In the only
line in the west enjoying the exclusive use
of this patent.
= = For further information apply to the
nearest coupon ticket agent, or address w.
II. Dixon. assistant general passenger
agent, 1T. Paul, MINI.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25
A Million Friends.

A friend in need is a friend indeed, and
not less than ono million people have found
just such a friend in DR.. Kings New Dis
for consumption, coughs and colds.
II YOU have never used that great cough
medicine one trinl will convince you that it
has wonderful curative powers in all dis
eases of throat, chest and lungs. Each bot
tie is guaranteed to do all that is claimed
or money will be refunded. Trial bottles
free at Il. S. Hale q Co.'S. drug store. Large
bottles, 80 and 81.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25

w AN NALL AlN 1AExA
weeks letter, a very
different ~system:pre-
vailed at West Point
in the war days--so
far as the reception
OF candidates was
concerned - m
that In existence
now, and the fun
for the old cadets
was fast md frrioua
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-25
WEST POINT WAR DAYS.
The Fun Was Fast and Furious in
the Eventful Summer
of so.
Commissioned Officers Thought of
War, Cadets Took Charge
' Of Youngsters.
Memorable First Recitation Of Cadet King
No Aristocracy Tolerated There
R~etribution for Giegling.

Written for The HELENA INDEpENDENT.)
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1891-08-22
Anlma,o That Used to 1.-Two Ages Ago.


OF the dinotherium no complete
skeleton has been discovered, but it
was doubtless the biggest land mani
NAL that ever lived \ full grown
skull Of this earliest Of rroboscidiaas,
which had long tusks as well as a
trunk, measures five feet from the
point of the lower teeth to the top Of
the head. The brontops, of elepllan-
tine size, had Il head like q rhinoceros,
with huge horns. Quite us remarkable
was the sivatheriuln, beast like an
antelope, but big as an elephant, with
two conical horns on the front of its
head and two immense spreading ones
behind
Among birds were waders ten feet in
height, such as the dinornis and castor
nis. Contemporary with them were
the mammoth and the mastodon, the
woolly rhinoccros, armadillos nine feet
in length. and the saber tootbed tiger,
larger than the greatest lion of today.
All that is left of these wonders OF
animal life is found in deposits such as
those of the western lake beds. For
years the government has been engaged
in excavating their bones. Rene Bache
in New York Sun.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1891-08-22
As lie Used to DO.

One of our street car conductors was
formerly a Methodist minister How
lie came to be running street ear ]
never knew, but he did lis work well,
though he had some peculiar ways.
He had been on the trout platform
one day collecting fares, and when he
came back to the rear platform pas
senger told him that {. lAan got on at
Houston street and was sitting inside.
The conductor stood in the doorway
and looked in. but he could not be sure
of his man. Then lie said with all
calmness, "Will the gentleman who got
on at Houston street please rise2"
The gentleman stood up Ike man
and paid his fare. = New Yorl, San.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1891-08-22
How Long Can the Cat Stand Ite


There's Il cross eyed cot in q certain
Main street drug store. Like some
other l.oinrlv creatures, the cat is re-
,uarkably intelligent, and the store
Keepers have not been slow to turn its
sagacity to account. In this us in
other drug stores the people around
the soda fountain lre continually drop
ping their change on tie floor.
The eat has been trained to skulk
about the soda fountain, and to run.
catch ana swallow I'll coins dropped by
customers before they can pick them
up. Of course the customers can't de-
inand the money OF the druggists In
deed they seen rather amused at the
cats strange appetite for metal. not
s,specting any desigi, in it.
Every right about II o'clock. just be
fore closing for the night, rhe druggists
administer powerful eiuetic to the
eat. which presently dissorges a guam
,ity of coin the amount On hot days
sometimes reaching ST or s., which is
credited on profit and loss. There are
few cats that can thus earn S25 to S35
Il week, and the owners of this cross
eyed animal very naturally value it
highly. Buffalo Courier.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1891-08-22
,3s DIDN'T AmoupT TO s.4ucKs.


There WAS Bijah. Ben an Bart.
Who w:r SElIrt
Sons of old jah lslanlcr-
See his house way over yander.
Whnr We see hat lon. iiecked Gander
On the cart!
But Bill. the youngcs, watched the ducks.
Because he didn't amount Is shucks-
/ tell W. i'iIah. Ben au Hart
Did their part.
wy, We never see sich BUSTERS
Never see SIGH larn,d hustlers:
They WIZ reg ar rnarln rustlers-
They WAR smart.
But Bill he ,isetrr loaf nm stop.
An lo!l. an lallygag an gawp.
An Bill wuz !,,zy. SO they said.
.An half dead:
Never uartcr laugh an hol!er.
Never iri,ul Ia max" II dollar.
But he wuH Il f,.>i rats srli"lar-
4 great l:c::L.
He'd take some tarnai bDo!.s an shirk,
An lit his Lrul hers do he work.
An they alu, li.!l 10 general court
CurI- sport!
An he, will Itie.n Air legislators.
Men, s'p,s:e, nv si;n'tar nature,
N'h1 i..nt he W.. :oLie pcrtat-rs.
Held lie fort.
His spyrrh-, wu2 so tall Ter snap
They struck 'r,.i Ike - ,hui.lvr clap.
He i;,lked ST. we'll an knew So much.
Eon;S ;,n such.
That lie now lives away M yander
In the stale huuso quite Il gandor-
Aud FOLKS call Lfri Governor Blander-
ii'stnu tuacG.
The chap who rsc.cr watch the ducks
Because he tIidu't amount To shucksl
BUT what NV Eijah. Ben IN Bart.
Who war SElart!
Never fear tiiol They'll fursake US;
Bise and Be-, are suul shoc,nakers.
Bart he drives Josiah bakers
butchers cart.
An all three bra.s :ibmt the ducks,
An Bill. who didn't amount to shucEs.
=. VI. Foss In pi,tshurg DispStch.