The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-11-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many handkerchiefs are moistened by
sorrows that never occur. r.-Ierds SJt-
ings.
Dentists are not all farmers, but they
live on the achers just the same.-Pitts.
bury Dispatch.
It would be hardly fair to call jack
legged lawyer a limb of the law.--Ne'o
Orleans Picayune.
An acceptable third party movement
Leaving the young couple by themselves.
--LotOeU Courier.
Some weak.kneed husbands with very
large wives are not able to hold their
own.-GalUeSton NeUS.
The debtor is the fellow who isn't at
all anxious to have his creditors hurry
on his account.-H0chester Post.
The ownership of the modern house is
usually shared between the baby, the
nurse and the hired girl. Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
81 see that tapir escaped from a
travelling menagerie in France recently"
"H'm. Sort of runaway matchF-
-Pucb.
"Mamma, why do they put the pic
ture of an eagle on dollars" ''To show
that money flies, my dear. "-Bahimoro
American.
Marriage is divine institution, but it
is hard to divine some peoples reason
for ever having entered it.-Boston
Transcript.
A man never fully realizes how much
of a sponge he is until ne slips down in
a puddle of water and mops it all up
Richmond Recorder.
You seldom see man so honest that
he says to his wife, "Where did leave
my hat2" He usually says, "Where did
you put it2"-AtchiSon Globe.
Here is the tomb of Bitter BIZ,
Wild nature was his tutor;
The citizens saw fit TO kill
Him with seven-shooter.
Washington Star.
When young man and his best girl
get into a swing by themselves it is re-
markable how they will mix up oscilla-
ton with osculation. -BaGaIo Er-
press.
"What are you marrying her for, Jack9"
"Her intrinsic worth--nothing else, !
assure YOU" "What is that9" "Oh,
about half-million or so."-KaaSas City
Times.
Wool-"What do you go to church
for!" Van Pelt-"To set an example to
my children Wool - "Are they
troubled with insomuia2'-Neic York
Herald.
"Why do you keep that old candle on
your deski" "Well, you see the electric
light gives just sixteen candle power,
aud some time may want scventeen"
Puck.
cup with the lark at the dawn of the day,
Ali wise men agree this is right;
But they also agree that tits folly TO stay
With that frolicsome fowl all night
Washington star.
"Poor little soul! !" said Uncle George,
gazing at the baby. "Why poor"
asked the proud father. "Naturo has
given him a black eye to start with, y re-
piled George. Basar.
They're having picnic in the woods.
"Oh, papa" exclaimed little Fritz,
running up with a chestnut burr in his
hand, "'look! I've found the egg OF
porcupine l"- Fliegeade Biaetter.
al suppose that Tom will receive some
thing handsome when his rich uncle dies.
lie has only to show a great respect for
the old gentleman. "Not 50 much re-
spect as expect. "-BostOa Transcript.
Little drops OF water
In rainy spell
Make you wish you hadn't
LeEt your new umbrell.
Washington Star.
Whether it is due to the multiplicity
of rain machines at work in this country
l am unprepared to say, but so many
aerouauts are falling from the skies in
these days that it is positively reckless
TO 90 out without au umbrella. Detroit
Free Press.
Teacher-'Try to remember this;
Milton, the poet, was blind. Do you
think you can remember it'' "Yes,
maam." "Now, what was Milton's
great misfortuneln "He was a poet. -
American Grocer.
Mrs. Cumso-"I love TO hear the song
of the birds" Cumso Severely --"rhe
QUO W nlGll AAl AlohNAA ilAA ANtAAAANAo W. NA~N
hat of yours will never sing again.
Mrs. Cumso-"It never did sing. Those
are chicken feathers. "-Neo Iort S,S7.
Way Not Elderly but Well Preserved
Widow Gn business) )-"This is an EN-
ploymeut agency, is it uot'' Manager
--'It is, maam. What eau do for
you| II want bright, rctiye,
capable young mau for type writer. -
Chicago IFAlHe.
mo, Bobby" said his mother, "one
piece OF pie is quite enough for you. -
"It's funny" responded Bobby, with an
injured air. "Iou say you are anxious
for me 10 learn to eat properly, and yet
you won't even give me "A chance 10 pr
tice. - WashiagtoR Hatekst