St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1891-12-19

stairs an shee If my wife's asleep"
"Humph' Suppose she shouldn't b.
asleep, then what?''
"WelI, if hic) she MISTAKES you fol
me you (hic) you'd better run. '-[NsN
York Weekly.
CALLS WELL THAr ENDS WELL.
Then you reject me?" he said, sadly
Yes" she replied, gently.
Then" said he with a deep sigh, "i
appears I've been hugging delusion.
Il beg your pardon; you have never
Rugged anything since you came here
If you had perhaps it might have beer
different. Perhaps =
He at once proceeded to correct his
mistake, and in few moments the ole
relations were restorcd.-[ New York
Press.
BEFORE THE ENGAGEMENT.
She-You have no bad habits?
He-No
She-You are Of good family and
wealthy, know.
He-1 am.
She-Will you let me have my own
way in everything?
He-Always.
She-And-I almost forgot-you love
me?
He-1 adore you!
She-Well, perhaps, mamma will mot
object. II New York Herald.
COOL REPLY.
An Indian prince, remarkable for his
pride and ill-humor, once walking to the
window Of his presence chamber with a
foreign ambassador, said to him:
do you know, sir, that one of my an
cestors forced person Of your de-
scription from this balcony into the
street.
1T may be So" was the reply, "bu:
probably it was not the fashion then,
as it is now, for ambassadors to wear
swords"
COY LITTLE THING.
Fannv-W eren't you horribly embar-
raised when he proposed SO abruptly on
such short acquaintance:
Maggie-Yes; if he had not happened
to be holding my hand at the time be-
lieve | should have sunk to the floor
Epoch.
THE EGorIsf.
Most men have hobbies-this one books,
that fame, the other pelf-
But heaven protect US from the man
whose hobby is himself.
New York Press.
HEARsAY EVIDENCE.
"Your husband,'' said the caller, sym
pathizingly, "was q man of many excel
lent qualities.
Yes sighed the widow. "He was q
good man. Everybody says so. /
wasn't much acquainted with him my
self. He belonged to six lodges. '-[Chi-
oago Tribune.
HE CoULDS'f BLAME HER.
How did you feel when Miss Long
head became sister to you!
II could not help feeling that she had
taken wise course, although the family
is becoming alarmingly large
A MORE IMPORTANT POINT.
Jack-Amy, we shall have to elope.
Would you marry without your parents
consent?
Amy-Of course l would; but, oh,
Jack, how about the wedding presents:
RURAL EXPERIENCE.
eWhat kind of seeds ought to plant,
Uncle 81, to get good squash crop?'
squash, O course. What did yer sup
pose? Lilocks?"-[ Epoch.
NEVER OMIT THAT.
DIR. Pitter-Then you could do nothing
whatever for the patient?
DIR. Paresis-No; except send in my
bill, Of course.-(Epoch.
GONE, AN UMBRELLA.
ychnson-Confound that Tomson!
Mrs. J.-What's the matter?
Johnson-He has just gone and taken
o2o of my umbrellas 1t is nothing short
of crime to take an umbrella, and it is
a piece of carelessness and thoughtless-
ness that is condoned too often. It
hello, what's this?
Mrs. J.-What is it, John?
johnson (gleefully)-Tomson took one
of my umbrellas, but left another one
a better one. Here, run and hide it. He
may discover his mistake and be back
any minute Yankee Blade.
PARTLY RIGHT.
Arrayed in summer garments,
The maiden sweet and shy
/ thought as fair vision
AS ever met the eye.
She said she was poem,
So beautiful was she,
And they were partly right, I find,
For she's averse to me.
New York Press.
IN AUTUMN.
/" All things now intoxicate,"
The raptured poet said.
" IT'S true" replied the wit, "for new
Doth nature paint things red"
AWAY FROM THE SEASIDE.
Clerk lin fierce aside)-You seem to
forget that we were engaged when | left
yeu at the seaside; but l shall have rec
venge!
Maudie GEOGRAPHICALLY! Measure
off two more yards Of this pink ribbon,
York Herald.