The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-11-14
THE BOWSERS.
Mrs. BOwser tells What She Got For
Christmas.
second !

after explained L could not certain
ly count on any thing until il was
handed out to me. No one must
get the idea that Mr.. Bowser and
L quarrel. We simply have our
peculiarities, same as the average
husband and wife. On the 9th of
last December, two days after
Christmas, Mr.. Bowser wanted to
put up bracket in the sitting
room, and he called to me to bring
him the corkscrew.
"Have you lost your head ?" he
demanded, as l handed it to him.
"No, SIR"
"Didn't you hear me say gimlet?"
"You said corkscrew."
"Neverw
eyes, you did, Mr.. Browser,"
said the cook, who had luckily over
heard him.
"Don't 1 know the difference be-
tween corkscrew and screw
driver?"
"a minute ago you said gimlet,
Mr.. Bowser. What is it you really
want-a corkscrew, gimlet, screw
driver, pincers, whet-stone, brush
broom, brace and bit, or what?"
81 want to inform you," he re-
piled, as he flung the bracket under
the lounge-"I want to inform you
in letters six feet high that I'll be
Internally smashed to squash if I
get you a Christmas present next
year"
"Mr. Bowserw
81 won't, even if you get down
on your knees to mew
And about the 10th of January,
one evening after supper, he
brought in the oil jug from the
barn, and of course 1 inquired
what he was going to do.
"Mrs. Bowser," he began, in the
lofty way of husband who is pre-
pared to make his wife take II back
seat, "you have, presume, heard
of leather?"
eyes, sir"
"Leather, as you probably do not
know, and would never find out
but from me, is the hide off the
back of certain animal-an OK,
COW, steer, etc. The hide of a
horse is called horsehide."
"I thoughtit was called deer-skin,
[ replied, willing to be crushed.
"Ah! No doubt you did. All
women probably do. The hide of
calf is called calfskin."
"How wonderful, Mr.. Bowser!
Do they take it off while he is alive ?
Calves don't shed their hides in
the fall, do they? Oh, how 1 wish
L had your knowledgeW
"Your head could never contain
it, Mrs. Bowser," he answered,
tickeled almost to death over the
ignorance pretended. But to re-
sumo. "Leather is the hide of an
animal put through process call
ed tanning. Even after being tan
ned it is full of pores"
"Is it possible?"
"These pores minute as they are,
admit water. That's how you get
your feet damp"
"Is that the reason? ?"
at is; and now Pm going to
beat nature by filling those pores
with oil, and thus keep out the
water"
"With linseed oil ?"
"Certainly."
"But father and Tom used to use
castor oil. They said the other oils
prevented their shoes from taking
shine afterwards, and made the
leather sticky"
ooh! they did? What your faith.
er and Tom don't know about
leather would make a big book
He rubbed on the oil, dried it in
rubbed on some more, and spent
an hour over his shoes. Next NOR
ming when he tried to put on q
shine it was no go. He rubbed his
necktie almost over the back OF
his head, but steam power couldn't
have done it. He quit brushing
and called to me.
81 was afraid of it," 1 replied, as
he held up one foot.
"Then why didn't you say so?
81 did"
"Never! You have gone and
spoiled these six-dollar shoesn
"Mr. Bowsrr, I told you that lin
seed oil would render them sticky
and"
"And I want to tell you right
here and now that you won't get
no Christmas present next year
not even a candy catw he interrup-
ted, as he banged his hat on his