The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-20
suNr1owER s1LHouErrEs.

MIS-. LedS6 travels CNOl VIC A@o-~S-@ = - -
a pass-No. 2716.
The time is fast coming when the
Alliance will fail to ally.
1t is safe to say that the rainmakers
have many a water-haul.
PETER owes his present position to the
Kansas soil, but he ought not to soil Kan
sas' name.
The only way for Mr. Diggs to get the
reputation of supporting his wife, Is to
have her run for some Office
The Dickinson county Republicans re-
solved that we favor 20 instead OF l3
pounds of sugar for dollar"
Senator Plumb says there are only two
sides in politics. And Plumb takes the
right side, which is the bright side.
Even the Alliance has improved in the
last six months. The Democrats are said
to be Withdrawing from it in great num-
bers.
Brigadier General Polk's sympathy for
the Kansas school children probably arises
from the fact that they study northern his
tories of the rebellion.
There are 3 good many one-legged sol
diers who are running on the Republican
ticket in Kansas who are going to get
| there with both feet this fall.
It remained for Wichita to prove that
the roar of the lion and the howl OF the
hyena can attract bigger crowd than
Peffer's roar and Simpsons howl
''How long. oh how long!" PETER cried
in his speech, stroking his beard. And in
| Il. ro1
audience remarked. 'Well, don't know,
but should judge about thirty inches"
1.-The Alliance is doing great work for
Christianity" said a minister yesterday,
1.-THE average Alliance haraugue is so poor,
you see, that the farmers are anxious to go
to church and hear something good"
W. F. Craig in the Emporia Republican:
Approach farmer and seize your front
collar button with your left hand. If he
responds by taking hold of his back collar
button with his right hand, you then say:
"Well, times are mighty tight, amt
they?" If he thrusts his tongue into his
cheek rattles the moneyin his pocket and
says, ''Yes, brother" you may know he Is
Alliance.
Last Tuesday morning a stranger with
long beard stepped into a barber shop on
Douglas avenue and took his seat IN
chair. Every barber in the shop looked at
one another knowingly and the man who
was preparing the lather, remarked ven
turesomely: You're going to have nice
day for your meeting"
The man fidgitied little and said short
ly he supposed so.
! GET nd ho Kansas
| in pretty bad shape everywhere you go?'
the barber remarked again.
A strange change came over the bearded
strangers face.
"Your party is growing right along,
isn't it?' continued the barber, without
noting the effect it was having.
The stranger sat straight up in his chair
at this, and his eyes flashed fire.
"Why wha-what's the matter, Senators"
asked the now astonished barber.
Senator! Senatorp' groaned the unhap-
DIV man, great heavens! man! you don't
take me for that for that pusilanimous PEI
fer?" The stranger was holding his head
with both hands
The situation was embarrassing for ev-
erybody in the shop.
| Il am patriot, CHe LudH SuIIohcu'
am Kansan, sir. l love Kansas. She is
the greatest state in the Union. Perdition
on the man that defles her," and the
stranger hid his face in his hands. Then
he braced up. "Cut it off," he said, 'cut
it off, every hair. My wife likes boards.
So do l; but will not be insClted. Cut it
off" and the man fell back in the chair
like he was going to go through surgical
operation, ,muttering something about PEI
fer. "Cut it off, " he cried again. Il don't
care if it is five dollars extra"
"And the mustache:" said the barber,
running his finger over the razor-edge,
Jerry Simpson wears mustache.
"Cut that off, too, +" said the stranger. 81
am patriot, SIR"
And after the stranger had gone, minus
n beard that he had worn twenty years OF
more, the smart barber held up three fin
gers to his fellow employees.
He had worked the same game three
times.