The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

Ny lady with the tresses long
And speech A. sweet as thrush's song
Provided she, in Loves exile,
Has kept for me her heavenlisst smile
-George w. Ferrel.
The weather prophet of East Soda
liza says the rain is over. If the
weather next week does not improve,
somebody will be gathering stories.
Every Boonville editor, who is
about to leave that town now, is
spotted. If he has a woman any,
where about him, the police whistle
is blown and the train stopped.
A Pettis county man dropped dead
one evening last week while milking
a COW. This ought to be a warning
to all husbands. Let your wife do
the miIking.-Fulton Telegraph.
Brother Bell is rather hard on the
women, did be express himself thusly
down in S,aun.on, Virginia, a few
years ago?
Lester Penrose Gordon Cumming.
a country gentleman who resides near
Baltimore. Maryland, says that bis
brother, Sir William Gordon Cum
ming, of London baccarat scandal
notoriety, is affected with St. Vitus'
dance and that he Involuntary toys
with the cards wien he is at the table.
IF this statement be true, there are
several gantlemen in the city Of Sc
dalia who are similarly troubled with
st. Vitus Terpsichorean eccentricities.
"Do you know" said MIR. R:ppey.
of Sedalia, who lived for awhile in
the state of California, "that the
black oranges which are occasionally
seen in the markets are caused by the
fog from the sea settling on them ?
Well. this is a fact. The fog does not
destroy the favor of the orange, but it
Injuries their sale simply becarse PEG.
PIE prefer bright, unspotted orange
or apple, though it may not be any
better in reality than the more favored
fruit"
News Agent Price informs the
Go :siper that q fne-ha;red fellow from
Kansas City was in Sedslia the past
week for the purpose Of starting dog
pound, but the outlook for reaping a
canine harvest was not promising and
he roturnod homo
Sedalia ia ever ready and willing to
welcome enterprising gentlemen from
abroad who may desire to locate in her
midst, but she hesitates to fling her
arms wildly about the neck Of q man
whose aspirations reach no higher
than impoundiDg tagless pups.
A singular incident wa. relsted To
the Gossiper yesterday. Eight yesrs
ago Mr.. W. T. Tewmey. a salesman
in the Grand Central mercantile
house of Frank B. Meyer & Bro,
lost in bis yard on Third street {
handsome watch charm, which wa
peculiarly priced because it had beer
presented to him by bis wife. Dill
gent search was made for it, but tc
no avail.
Last Tuesday, after the terrific
rain and hail storm, Mr.. Tewmey
happened to 60 out into the yard
and. strange TO cay, saw the shining
keepsake lying on the surface of tn
ground, still in a good state of preser
walton. The heavy rain had WASHED
the earth from over it.
Another step forward for charming
womankind. She has been installed a
usher in an Eastern Methodist churcl
and il performing the duties of tn,
Office not only to the entire satisfac
ton of the elders ard pastor, but t
the delight of the young men, man.
of whom permit themselves to b
lured within the walls of the sanctu
airy so that they may be seated by tn
modest and pretty ushera. This is tn
entering wedge for a new sphere 70
attractive women. If they make goo
church ushers. why will they no
make excellent theatre ushers? 1t
a generally conceded fact that a VIC
man is always conscientious in the dis
charge of her duty and that she al
ways endeavo-s 10 further the inter
ests of her employer to the best of he
ability. That is one of woman
virtues as servitor, and there is u
question as to her being a valuabl
adjunct in every description.
One of our celebrated lawyers stor
ped on his way down Ohio street I
his office to get a cigar. He wa