New-York tribune., 1891-12-27
NO CAPTAINS TABLE FOR HIM.
NE MEANT WHAT HE SAID AND WAS EAGER TIC
FIGHT FOR IT.

KE MEANT WHAT HE SAID AND WAS EAGER TO
FIGHT FOR IT.
He pacing the promenade deck of the ocean
Majestic. one of his eyes blackened and
his red and swollen features careworn en-
preston. The breeze played gently with the tails
of his long ulster, and he could scarcely keep his
feet. A sudden urch of the ship sent him sprawing
on the deck in front of of the passengers, who
helped him up and asked him If he sick
mo. my friend" he answered gravely "but I'm
afraid I've made big mistake. Ever crossed the
ocean before7'
Two or three times" the modest answer.
''Well. them" he continued, perhaps you can tell
me whether right wrong.'
How was II 2"
Well you see it was this way. Pm from Illinois,
and the other day / was appointed United
States Consul to little port over here across
she pond I'm on my way there now.
| took cabin passage this boat and was having a
tiptop time until to-day. This morning had Just
sat down to breakfast when big waiter came up be-
hind me, and said he: Il beg pardon, sir, but the
captain requests that you be seated at his table
what's that said |, sit at the captains table Not
much SIR. Im plug of common sailor Pm United
States Consul. paid for frstclass passage on this
craft, and I'm going to have frstclass grub sit at
the captains table, You must be crazy, man. No.
sir I'm going to sit right here and take my meals like
the other 6rst-class passengers. I'm a gentleman.
I'm an American sovereign, sir, and | stand on my
rights. The next thing you'll want mo to go down
and take potuck with the coalheavers. I'm no
steerage passenger. If you don't believe it, here's
nv ticket. I don't eat with captains, do you see
Everybody at the table began to look astonished
like and the waiter said, I'm sorry, sir but orders is
orders wouldn't dare tell the captain that you had
| refused to To his table. He would be much in
suited SIR Then let him get nsulted' said l. get
ting bit riled. ITS Of his business where SIT
| I don't have to eat with my social interiors. I'm
going to sit right here, and If don't take your hand
off my shoulder. III paste you right between the
| eyes, But you don't understand he began and
put his hand on me again. With that got up and hit
him. He struck back and cbnched, rolled
| over on The floor and gouged each other lot of
the walters ran up and parted us. got up and left
| the room without any breakfast. Just as l went
| ont heard somebody remark that ! the biggest
| fool that ever stepped OF dry land Now tell me,
stranger Is a fool because be stands up for his
| rightsfa Certainly not" answered the other pas
| great honor to be invited 30 the captains table
| Il Is an honor accorded only to people
| of high social rank official position
The captains table is considered the finest in the
| dining ROOM" .
| {" In the dining room - he gasped. "Then 1t ant
| DOWN In tbe forecastle All. | catch on. What
| tarnal fool I've been. anyhow. I'm going to ge the
biggest deckhand on board to kick all the shin
and then I'm going to my stateroom. and won't stth
my nose outside until we get to Queenstown. Good
| BY, my friend"