Telegram-herald., 1891-08-16
Piquant and Picturesque Advsr-
tisements Of Oiden Times.
4 POEM on WaSHISCIOs'S DENISE
sa~mili for sale With Usefat Attach
mssts-As Extinct Order Of Priat-
ers-Proofrsadsr Asa the = aiis.
funny ~ Setera.

right secured. The publishers. Samuel
Freer 4 Son. advertise that they have
store with an assortm mt OF goods
adapted TO the season, and that ashes
and rags are taken In trade. The
editor. in an italicised editorial, ap-
ologizes for the super-abundanee OF
news and the lack oil space for pubiica
tion The winter had evidently bSen
a severe one and Ulster county people
must have been hard up. for eleven
sherif's sales are advertised and three
insolvent debtors. One OF the adver-
one-half of sawmill with a conve-
nient place for building. lying in the
town Of Rochester. BY the mill Is an
inc xhaus, able supply Of Pinewood: al
so stout, healthy, active negro
wench.
The advertisement Of a sawmill with
n convenient place for building 1t. re-
minds one of the old yarn about a
man who went TO answer a similar
advertisement and found a dam and
a mGllsite, but no mill by a damsite.
The mill was presumably TO b. pro-
PEELED by water power but in the hot
days OF summer strc;Llis run low. and
the mill might have TO shut down. To
provide for such a disastrous con
tingency the stout, healthy, active ne
gro wench is thrown in, and IL her
recommendations are to he relied upon
she would undoubtedly be strong
enough to run the mill, during the
heated term.
Printers of the Last Century.
Another advertiser Informs the pub
lie that he has lost watch and that
the person who finds IL will meet a
suitable reward ny han ling IL TO the
printers" In this day OF Topographic
cal tourists of doubtful integrity and
limitlcss capacity for bcer-whcn any
thing. from the city EDITORS specta-
else TO the forcman's overall. are likely
to be stolen and pawned for drink,
people advertise differently.
Abraham Hasbrouck states that an
excellent gun marked s. B. was taken
from his store about one year ago. and
that he will pay 50 for its return.
Abraham's tardiness in advertising re-
minds one of Grand Rapids mer
chant. Throw aside the insignificant
anachronism OF time and place and
| this may have been the redoubtable
weapon that Rip Van Winkle carried
on his last hunt and by which he was
kis ked In a tws nty y sar coma at the
| first fire. The writer OF this article
is the proud posessor OF revolution
ary relic with n barrel like linge Ing
Sllness and breech like the hoof OF an
energetic jackass. No man ever boz
rowed it twice. There were no :. IL.
initials on the weapon. but there
should have been for it WAS
That Kind of Gun.
Seth Marshal advertises that he has
| "found a three year old heller with
a small star in her forehead, white
under the belly and little white TO
her tail" The owner offers a reward
| for her return in the same issue a
three year old heifer is about as great
| an anomaly as 81 year old girl,
but the star faced bovine found her
owner and she may have become the
maternal ancestor of Henry Waiter
sons Star Eyed Goddess OF Reform.
| Here is another: "Strayed-A red
bull, branded on both horns L. T. II.
| The person having taken up such bull
will be thanked by giving information
| thereof to the printers Picture Il
| man getting up i'm the morning to find
n red bull trampling his garden and
| flower beds into chaotic ruin. stabling
the brute for week or two and as
certaining the brand on his horns at
! the risk of instant eyisceration. then
after seeing the "ad" and giving the
information he receives ''the thanks
of the printers I" 1t strikes the writer
| that the proof-readcr is the proper
the proper man TO be informed OF the
presence OF the bull, not the printers.
The city editor has daily for many
moons informed that functionary Of
the presence of bulls both red and vel
low. and in no instance has he been
thanked.
Martys Van SteeDbergh. of San
gertics. was evidently having trouble
with his wife. Hannah. H publishes
second notice" warning people
against harboring or keeping ner.
and particularly against trusting her.
| II looks like n cold bloo1cd plan to
starve poor Hannah into upcongenial
| connuhialitv. Whether he succeeded
or not is n matter of but little mo-
men; now. FOR the moss of half a cen
tury is clinging to their tombstones.
The GazettH contains large
amount of foreign correspondence
which il three months old. Among
other things nre several versions ~ the
battle oi Zurich. an account OF the
landing OF Napoleon and Berthler in
France after leaving the army in
Egypt. The opening of tho National
Congress il also reported. President
| John Adams makes speech
| OF about twenty lines 20 the House.
! The House makes n short response
Then the President and the s,nate
ialk to each other. General Marshall
makes a formal announcement oi the
Death ~ Washington.
and numerous eulozies are PRO
ncnnced. The account oi bis funeral
shows that ceremony 90 hsve been
rcnark. y f-re from ia $ and Seat or .
/ In the midst of the procession the
dead enersi's horse was led. aceout-
rod with saddls. hoilxfer and pistols
| There were only six PaH bearers and
shey were eli colonies. The ceremony
was simple. solemn and imposing and
the account ~ n woaid have ben
highly c0mmeBdafia but Tor she end
snr The Newspaper poet is uui-
.auce of hundred years standing
and right herr l. sample ~ versiH
eatbn that waula shcet = rain
w,fAtf y is ieeaesi. "f8n~~ - fse
Iseash ~ washing Va ~ a y9.sne
iasv And fe~ sanpies sasy le -
literest