The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-03-06


ri JNE Cinsinnaty quite sud
@&W din by n lettur from
5k&~ the Supervisors of
~ Baldinsville, sayin us
how CRATE things was on the Tappis in
that air town in refferunse to sellebratin
the compleshun of the Sub-Mershine
Telegraph e. akin me to be Pressunt.
Lockin up my Kangaroo and wax wurks
in a seizure stile | took my departer for
Baldinsville-"myo own, my native Ian"
which gut intwo at early kandle litin
on the follerin night g. just as the seller
brashun and illumernashun ware COM
mensin.
Baldinsville was trooly in blaze of
glory. The Tavern was lit up with tai
ler HANDLES all over 81 CRATE bon fire
was burnin in frunt thareof A Trans
pirancy was tied onto the sine post with
the follerin wurds-"Giv us Liberty or
Deth." Old Tompkinsis grosery was
illumernated with tin lantuns and the
follerin Transparency was in the winder
THE Sub-Mershine Telegraph & the
Baldinsville and Stonefield Plank Road
the 2 CRATE eventz of the 10th centerry
may intestines strife never mar their
grandjure." Simpkinsis shoe shop was
all ablaze with HANDLES and lantuns.
A American Eagle was painted onto
flag in a winder-also these words, viz.
1.-THE Constitooshun must be Pre-
sarved." The Skool house was hted up
in CRATE stile and the winders was tilld
with mottoes amung which notised the
fo1erin-"Trooth smashed to erth shall
rise agin-YoU CAN'T STOP HER" THE
Boy stood on the Burnin Deck whense
awl but him had Fled" 'Prokrastina-
shun is the theaf Of Time" "Be vir-
toous & you will be Happy" "Intem-
perunse has cawsed heap of trubble-
shun the Bole," an the follerin sentiment
written by the skool master, who gradu-
ated at Hudson Kollige: "Baldinsville
sends greetin to Her Magisty the Queen,
q hopes all hard feelins which has here
tofore previs bin felt between the Super
vizers of Baldinsville and the British
Parlimunt, if such there has been, may
now be forever wiped frum our Escut-
chens. Baldinsville this night rejoises
over the glorious event which sementz 2
CRATE nashuns onto one anuther by
means of elecktric wire under the roar
in billers Of the Nasty Deep. QUosQUE
TANTRUM, A BUTTER, CATKRLINY, PATENT
NosTRUM"
Squire Smiths house was lifted up re-
gardlis of expense. His little sun Will
lam Henry stood upon the roof firin orf
crackers. The old Squire hisself was
dressed up in soljer clothes and stood on
his door step, pintin his sword sollumly
TO American flag which was suspended
on top Of pole in frunt of his house.
Frequently he wood take orr his cooked
hat & wave it round in o impressive
stile. His oldest darter Miss Isabeller
Smith, who has just cum home from the
Perkinsville Female Instertoot, appeared
at the frunt winder in the West room as
the goddis of liberty, g. sung Il see them
on their windin way" Booteus /, sed l
to myself, you air angil & nothin
shorter. N. Boneparte Smith, the
'Squire's Oldest sun, drest hisself up as
Venus the God Of Wars and red the
Declaration of Independence from the
left chambir winder
The Squire's wife didn't jine in the
festiverties. She sed it was the tarnu-
lest nonsense she ever seed. Sed she to
the Squire, "Cum into the house and go
to bed you old fool, you. Tomorrer
you'll be goin round half-ded with the
rumertism e. won't gin us minit's
peace till you get we'll" Sez the Squire,
Betsy, you little appresiate the i'm
portance of the event which this night
commemorate. Sez she, "Commemo-
rate cats tail-cum into the house this
instant, you pesky old c,-itter." Betsy"
SEE the Squire, wavin his sword, "re-
tire." This made her just as mad as she
could stick. She retired, but cum out
agin putty quick with a PAINFUL of Bilin
hot water which she throwed all over
the Squire, & Surs, you wood have split
your sides larfin to see the old man Jump
up and holler g. run into the house.
Doctor Hutchinsis ofiiss was likewise
lifted up and Transparency on which
was painted the Queen in the act Of
drlnkin sum of "Hutchinsis invigorater,
was stuck into one of the winders. The
Paldlnsville Bugle of Liberty noospaper
oiiiss was also illumernated, q the fol-
ierln notices stuck out-"The Press is
the Arkermejian leaver which moves
the world" "Vote Early" Buckle
ON your A1mer." "Now is the time to
Subscribe.' Franklin, Morse O. Field. {"
Terms 100 year-liberal reducshuns
to clubs" In short the villige of Baldins-
VILE was in a perfect fewroar. never
seed so many peple thar befour in my
born days. lie not attemp to describe
the seems of that CRATE night. Wurds