The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-04-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

sender usually has to pay the freight
n. I. Herald.
The few men who don't make fools
OF themselves generally let some one
else do it.-E mira Gdzette.
Tie sunlight comes for rich and poor
alike; the blizzard is mostly for poor
-Hfitcaukec Sentinel.
Argument is often introduced to
establish falschood 1t takes few words
to make truth convincing. -Atch;s0H
Globe.
Would YOU permit me to read you
my last poem my dear Young lady?h
IF it isS -our last really, certainly
FIiegc,fIe Butter.
Mendicaat Tin newspaper oflice)-
Say, boss, got any change 10 spare?'
No, I'm the exchange editor" =
Spokane Spokts1a M.
In some towns the proverb is spelt
thus: Money makes the mayor go
any way the rich corporations want
him to.-St. Jos ph Neigs.
Did the grocnrs make ANYTHING on
sugaS?n asked Lamkiu Yes said
Broker Margin. 'lIioSe WHO had any
sand did. n-D3st0n ButictiR
Lady Co her silent partner at table)
i beg pardon, Herr Bcinlach, but
does it strike You as though | looked
slightly bcred?''-fiisye'iae Biatter.
There's nothing left for me now
but death" said Harry, after his re-
lection by Helen. james, bring me
Il bunch ofcigarettes. "-B0Ston Heratd.
McCorkle "Noah's family was not
an aristocratic one.n McCrackle (ten-
tatively} McCorkle - No;
they were not in the swim. - Brooklyn
Life.
Il thought her heart was broken
when her husband dicd?' so it was.
Perhaps that accounts for her since
tying it with knot."-IhttadeLphsa
Times.
The difference between modesty and
bashfuneSs i, of course, that YOU are
modest. while the other fellow is BASH
ful-and how ridiculous it looks!-S0na-
erUttte J0uri1pt.
Emma-'.I rode in a horse-car half
an hour today before | got It, seat"
Amy-"That's too bad. It's such
misfortune not to be good looking
Boston Herald.
TO what do you attribute your
longevity" asked an investigator of a
centenarian. 10 the fact that | never
died" was the conclusive reply. -
Harper's Bdzar.
Wasn't it dreadful to listen to the
whistling Of the bullets in battle?" %,
not so very. You see the bullets never
whistled any of the popular airs of the
dav.n-N. y. San.
Judge Officer Schmidt, the accused
SAYS he was making no noise when you
arrested HIM" No noise, your Honor;
why he made noise enough to wake
me. F2iegende Blatter.
Goldbags Cooking out at the tene-
ments)-"AIas! 1t must be very hard
to be poor" Wentman-''On the con-
trarv. its confoundedIy easy to be
poor. "-AnericaR Grocer
You have head on you this morn
ING. haven't YOU. dear?n inquired his
wife kindly. Gigantic" he groaned.
"Jagontic." she echoed, and left him
with it Washington STIR.
Bobbins-"What makes old Bullion,
the millionaire, dress so shabbily?n
Robbius-.Prid of station" 'How's
that?1 Hes afraid of being mistaken
for clerk. ~. y. Weekly.
Kinglcy why, old man, what
makes you look so gloomy? You
haven't had falling out with yoar
wife, have you?" Bingo-'Worsc than
that. With cur servant girl.
He-sI don't think the world is ex-
actly fair to men" Shc-'Why not?''
He-.'Well the man who has Il head.
for instance, gets ahead, while the man
who hasn't one doesn't. Br00blyn
Life.
Gies-"I noticed that your friend
bad his coat collar buttoned up. A
cold, | suppose?n Merritt-"O no.
He was calling on his girl and wore
the tie she made him for Christmas. y
Life.
You are fond of music, are you
not?' said the Young woman who had
just been singing. Il am, very. If |
could | would have something done to
stop the wholesale attempts to slaughter
it" Washington lost
II do not sink re Anglish melodee-
Jus tongue for to spik," said a French
man. Why not?' Wy not? For
because it babble along not easily. You
have no belief? Just hear me how
spikn'-HMper's Ba=ar.
Mrs. Brown-.'I don't half like that
friend of yours--that fellow Smith
Mr.. Brown-"Do YOU think YOU are
very good judge of men, my dear?'
Mrs. Brown with eXpression) -"No, |
do not."-N. Y. H.raid.
Strange thing how Winks ever got
the reputation of being Il wit" said
Ja@gleby. Why the only decent
thing he has gotten off all the evening
is his $50 overcoat. and be owes his
tailor for that. "-jSh3c and Leultsr Re-
porter.
BrobSon-''It must hurt foreigners
feelings to know that he is disqualified
for the Presidency" Craik-' Moth
ing compared to the agony of native
who realizes that his nationality dis
qualities him for the police force
n. \. Herald.
Detective Catchem--"How did YOU
ever get a confession from Tough
Iobles?' Detective Quizem-'I gave
him Connecticut cigar, and after he'd
smoked it he thought he was going to
die, ami told me all he ever did. y
Butato Express.
Mudge-'Now. / look ut it in this
way. Up to a certain point wine-or
beer-or any light stimulant does a
man no harm" Yabsley And where
would YOU locate that certain point
about on Il level with your ears?"-
indianapolis Journal.
Clcrh-''This is only two-line note;
Shall use Il whole sheet of paper?n
Merchant-"W hom are YOU writing
top Cierk-"Mr. Iardhartn Mer-
chant-''One of our heaviest creditors.
Use half sheet. We must SHOW him
that we practice economy. n-Epoch.