The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-09-13
REFORMED BURGLARY.
Pretty Housebreakers III
Petticoats and
Frills.
SOME DELIGHTFUL POSSIBILITIES.
UDgallant Gentlemen Who Object
May Press Mousetrap and
Let the Mouse Do
the Rest.

the Rest.
A girl burglar why nots This is
free country. The lords of creation have
had exclusive control Of the market
long enough. Place aur danes If
there be republic OF letters, why not
epublic OF criminals Crime knows no
sex. Now that the fair sex has entered
the field we may expect to see the calling
of the burglar elevated. Is i5 not an In
conference.-the fact that woman. lovely
woman possesses more Of the delicate.
artistic spirit than ssthe paragon OF
angels2'' There viii be no more brutal
bullies invading the privacy OF peoples
homes. with masked faces, dark lanterns
and seIf-cecking revolvers. This type OF
burglar is doomed. He is an anchr on
ism. He belongs 70 the days OF Claude
Du Val and Rob Roy McGregor. He
does not belong to the Nineteenth Cen
fury.
Il VIII indeed be happy change when
this form OF rufian shall have become as
extinct as the do do: and when the sweet
young thing. not yet escaped from her
teens, takes to tire business and executes
| the job with men tness and despatch.
| There shall be, WREN this happy trans
formation has been ushered in, not few
old bachelors who shall welcome the
company Of such a visitor. even
and wallet, Think OF it: reflect
| on IL, ye men OF little .faithi To be away
ened in 1.-THE vast dark middle of the
night;' to hear the patter of soft feet on
| the carpet: or, rnayhap, to see "a sweet
| face at the window" To gasp with terror
| &C the approach of such an uncanny up
| partition, as q 1.-THE form clothed in white
| samite,v gently but firmly bears down
! upon him. He Is bewildered with the
| tnmultuous rush Of bis emotions. He
| apostrophises the shadowy form in petit
| coats Bring with thee airs from heaven
/ or blasts from hellf'' Is it real or Is Is
/ imaginary? He is NOT left long in s1s-
/ pense.
HON 1T WILL WORK
A voice that is low aud sweet warns
him not to scream or make noise His
| lack lustre eyes stare right down the
Inuzzle of gun. The same voice, albeit
| IN gruffer tones, calls upon him to sur
render his gilt edge securities. The
| poor man, limp and daft, makes an nm
/ conditional surrender. His watch, his
chain, his greenb backs, all pass from HIS
possession into the deft hands of his fair,
! but forcible visitor. Maybap his gun
| was ready to his hand; perchance he had
| designs of showing fight but what. man
4
| plan of campaign Maybe it is all
/ figmenr of disordered brain, horrible
nightmare But at the worst-if indeed
/ this captivating creature be burglar
| who would think OF harming her? Is she
| not driven to life of crime by necessity,
| By poverty, BIZ The Ribes and SCOTS of
| some mean thing Ia hated rival) who has
bigger bank account and can sport finer
frocks and more expensive millinery?
| Signing. he Is likely to exclaim, ooh, let
| the erring sister 20 In peace.
! She wears no mask; that would Illustrate
| her design. What woman does not carry
! an uncopquerable shield in her eyes?
| Some turnkey is credited with the senti-
| meut that be would sooner be Knocked
down by nobleman than picked up by
| plebeian. In like manner. is it not more
agreeable TO be victimized in the manner
stated, than to obliged to shout
murder police" and annoy the
household and neighborhood, when
| grimy villain stands over you, pistol In
! one hand and your valuable chronometer-
| repeater in the other? l. people are to be
| robbed, then, by all means, we should
| welcome women operators. They are
less likely to blow the top OF q fellows
| head off; and it Is SO easy to get rid Of q
| female burglar should one be so mean as
to wish to do so. A se-trap would do
! the business. 1t would take the place of
| the burglar alarm. Hows What a silly
| question: Just press the button of the
trap and the mouse will do the rest. II
| those petty-coats don't engage her atten-
ton exclusively, then nothing short of
| charge OF dynamite will disturb her
! equanimity.
The man whose privacy has been SO IN
| tremendously invaded may then turn
/ over and go to sleep. It will be a fight TO
| a finish II OF sporting proclivities he
| may act as referee or umpire, but likely
| enough the mouse has put in its fine work
I In he frat nd md he al
| burglar has incontinenty fed, having
| hurled herself headlong from the fire.
escape to avoid fate which fills every
| feminine breast with uuutterable horror.
MoORE's MELODIES.
/ Who has not read MoOre's "Lalla
Rookhfn where Hated seeks the bower
| wherein his Kinda reposes, on the SUM-
1 nit of skyescraping tall tower
Lightly from erag to crag he leaps
And now Is in the maiden's chamber"
| But Hated, in one Of his nocturnal
| clamberings, went In search OF vengeance,
| not love. He was after the scalp of the
! old man. But Hated was baked Of his
prey. In place Of the sire, be found the
! daughter:
II climbed the CORY vulturs'e nest.
And found a trembling dove within"
Now, think of the consequences If our
| muslin frocked heroines who have taken
to burglary for living. should make a
mistake or this kind, and in
place of finding the old vulture
| within, should wake up the
| wrong passenger in the person Of his
| wife, the good man himself not having as
/ vet returned from his lodge. What
! spect acle for the imagination to revel inl
! A hu ssy of that kind IN her husbands
/ room. The greeu-eyed monster has sup
| piled the motive for this surreptitious
| visit What deceptive monster is man!
| What wretch in human form TO betray
the confidence, the love. of an honest
womanl
| MORE TROUBLE.
! But stayi There Is a circus; the
/ wronged wife Is up in arms; that female
! burglar finds her back hair floating about
| the room IN gossamer shreds. She
| shrfeks for help, she he2s for mercy. The
| infuriated wife gets in grape-l lock
!, twist on the other ones bangs, aud there
| is music ia the air, THE Subsequent
| proceedings interest her no moren She
] is at last fired down the elevator shaft, an
| amorphous bundle that resembles moth
ing so much as peddler's PACK that had
| been tossed on the horns of wild steer.
But this experience is too narrowing.
/ draw the curtain.
II is long preface to the short story
that suggests these vagFaut fancies.
A bright young girl, Just nineteen: a
1 brunette; this was the class OF burglar
that Chief Murphy entertained Qnite re-
Gently. She had come from Lafayette.