The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-26
BRIGHT BITS.

Mr.. BLooBUMPER-There' nothing egostistical
about GoslIn
Miss Dollie (sarcastically)-NoY
Mr.. B.-I heard him say yesterday that he
hated a fool.-Brooklyn Life
"Do YOU think that the result from your rain
machine will be equal to all recessities?" asked
the official of the inventor.
"Oh, yes" was the reply of the mentally alb.
sorbed man; II think it will cover the. ground. :"
Washington Star.
MERCuRY-Please, haven't you some message
for me down to the earth?
Jove-What's this: You are willing to work.
All, understand You are tbiukinR of the
summer girl Well, go down and give her my
love. -Netc York Herald
LITTLE BENNIE-Boohoo! The bee stung
me.
His Big Brother-Never mind. l killed the
bee.
Little Bennie-Did you! Boohoo Well, kill
him deader. brooklyn Eagle.
THERE was young man lived in Youghall,
Was the biggest liar since Adams fougall.
For the fish that he bought
He'd swear that he'd caught
This young man of unlimited gougall
Forest and Stream.
OLD LADY-Doctor, do you think there is any
thug the matter with my lungs?
Physician after a careful eXamination)-I
find, madam, that your lungs are in q normal
condition.
Old Lady with sigh of resignation)-
about how long can expect to live with them
in that ?-PhdrplGceuticdi Era.
THE hayward young man, broken in health,
has gone to the far southwest to recuperate.
He was in Jail at Tombstone, Ari., for stealing
q hind quarter of beef. In the loneliness of his
cell he sat down and wrote as follows
Dear Father: have picked up some flesh
since came out here, but am still confined to
my room. Please send me 800, " etc. Chicago
Tribune.
THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS this hear of
trouble on your shipY
The Captain-Trouble enough. Half the crew
mutinied and tried to prevent the rest from
going to work. Fortunately, help came. and
now the wretches are in jail.
The Manufacturer-You call that mutinyP Ir
my mill that would be nothing but strike.-
Pttts6ur0 Bulletin.
THERE is a movement on foot to have a ioint
| meeting of the board of lady managers and the
national commission for the purpose Of discuss
| ing the feaSibi ity of locking President Baker
and Miss Phoebe CouzinS up in the exposition
| grounds as soon as the grounds are fencsd in
and then selling pools on the chance as to which
one will hrst escape The other. It is proposed
| to call this novel feature of our worlds faiI
THE Lady or the Tgcr?"-ChicGgo Morning
| Nelcs
GEN. LoNGsrREET says that on one Of the Ions
| night marches in Virginia the only way he coulC
get rest was 10 lie down on the ground while tn,
column was passing and sleep for an hour or SO
| He woke uD just as the Straggers were coming
along the rear and heard an old Georgia cracker
sohloquizing about the situation: Il love my
country and I'll fight for it, and I'll die for 1t
and I'll go naked aud barefooted for it, but
when this war is over I'll be cursed if ever love
| another country. '-Argondut
A YOUNG FRENCH ADVOCATE. in the course Of
his address to the court, hourished about his
hand in such a manner as TO show. off great
| magnificent diamond ring. He was young
| good looking. and pleading for a lady OF quail
| ity, who demanded q separation from her hus
band The husband, who happened to be pres
ent, interrupted him in the middle of period
and turning to judges, exclaimed Electrically
MY lords, you will appreciate the zeal which
Monsieur NJ. is displaying against me, and the
sincerity of his argument when you are in
formed that the diamond ring he wears is the
very one which l placed on my wife's finger on
| the day of that union he is so anxious to dis
solve" The court said NJ Berger, VINO relate:
this story, was struck, and rose Immediately
The cause was lost. and the advocate never haG
another. To add to tho poignancy of the catas
trophe, the husbands insinuation had no foun
dation in fact. London Lao Journal.