The critic., 1891-01-06
HIT OR MISS.

II the native New York female innataly vul-
gar, after all, or Is 1t only the environments
As you experience her nt the Metropolitan
opera 1t ~ mournful to observe that her gool
breeding IL generally in inverse ratio to the
brilliancy OF her Jcwels.-LlJt.
Figures must get tired standing, as II is SAID
thGt they won't lic.- Ierds SiJtihgs.
The more the girs pine for some young men
the more spruce they bccomc.-Epoch
To faint dead away after q Russian bath is
TO be clean gone, at least-NeD orleans Plea
aunf.
men always Usc IL in making lye.-BlRg-
hampton LtGdfr.
When man dies II can very truthfuly be
said OF him that he was good man, az men co.
-AfchlC6H GlOJe.
A coming-out 'party"-The politician who
quits fat Office on the first OF the new year.
Boston Gazette.
pie a new diary and sharp lead pencil.'-Noy-
glsft7cR Xefdd.
When the world IL not leering at large faults
In small men II IL scolding at small faults in
big mcn. .1iiroukee Sentinel.
$50 to the ant" said Solomon to the needy
eluggnid OF old. But the needy sluggard now
a'days generally goes to his uncle.
Blamarok says: "War is never caused by
newspaper articles Bismarck Is evidently
rot fGmilier with Texas sj0urnaliHm.-NorrLs-
fCnn Ierdfd.
| II a woman ever wishes she was q man, II Is
when she hes Just brought the hammer down
on her dnger instead OF the tack she meant TO
| hit.-StDtTriRe JOuTR0t.
| Mr.. Blagworth.-Is this seat engaged, my
daughter.
Miss Perkie Deaycs (of a travelling aggregc.
| tlon)-Look here You bald headed old forgiven
| I'm not your daughter, and I'm glad OF il: and
| II you don't gallop into the next car III ruin
| an umbrella on you! SeeY-Jpdge.
They say chollie's injuries were this result
OF q practical joke"
fellow in the barroom was deaf and dumb, and
| Chollio walked over to him, and, with sweet
pmlle, told him he was a blank fool"
| "Wellfm
"The man wasn't deaf and dumb."-7Re
| SIN.
Darling" end he, az soon as he recovered
| from the exquisite ecstasy OF that concentrated
| essence of bliss, the kiss OF betrothal,
| darling, times have been pretty rocky for mo
lately, and am afraid can't get yoi an en-
gegement ring right away. or would you be
| willing TO accept AN order on Laura Potts for
the ring gave her last summer, I'd a4k her
| myself, brt We don't speak now.n-IRdllaap0-
| lis J0IfRdk
| Doctor" said tho lady, anxiously, ~ have
sent for you to see II yon can't tell me what
TO do for my poor little canary. 1t mopes
II am not bird doctor, madame" the physl-
| clan interpOsed loltily.
Don't you know anything about the dis
| eases OF cNnArlcsih
Most emphatlcally do not"
| "Iou will excuse me then, doctor she said,
| III ! call more experienced physician.
should be afraid to let you preserlbc Tor the
| poor little dear. ~ chicago ITibune.
The reason why the girls enjoy -leighing so
| much is because Il requires some effort to Keep
them cosy aud warm. = DGllos Neps,
They say the hardest thing to raise on a
Western farm II the mortgage BOSTON But
hth
Your rev waitress Is a very attractive
looking person
here There II always policeman on duty IN
the kitchen.'-NtW lOyk Hidid.
The Debutante.
You seem to forget tits my fret season out
Tonight II my formal debut;
Now don't he too tender-mind what youl
about,
My chapcronc ls looking at youl
I'm promised TO you-Jaek to you l belong
ruther would have you than not
But then Tina bud from this years gardet
Aud not d toul guesses oar plot,
Let rs waltz we can talk then; not SO tight
Annopnce our engagement you rayy
You've brought the 'ing with your Respon'
by o squeeze;
True love always fgots at delay.
The rinpl WIN weRrit ~ lesl Easy to gran
request 20 congeuially planned;
IN sin be the blushlug and coy debutante
by wearing II ON my right hand,
For truly | caunOt-yOu dance well-fOrogO
The stason'r gay round Of affairs,
Because (upid's arruw-stop pihchins, q
SLOW
Has taken me quite Gnawares,
Though pledged to you truly, e2d fond OF you
dear
Why should "cOme Outn at ALL pray,
TO he a sweet rosebud one day In the yoar,
! Aud the rest % the time hanceef