, 1891-04-30
WORKING THE CORPSE LIKE A MINE

"ONNFHfNHt NNNN CCNAF9E LINE - "lING.
Johns" Dead Body Turned Into a 10
mama by an EnterPri-ing Coroner.
The net Of it is, said the coroner
Of San Diego. as he was paying a fra
ternaI visit to our local morgue the
other day, the cold fact Of it is that
you coroners up in this section don't
really understand your business. and
how to make it boom for all there is in
it, as it were.
What do you meanF asked our
newly elected official.
why, you don't seem 10 suvey how
to get all there is coming to you out of
a cadnver, somehow don't handle EN-
scientifically. SO 10 speak. Now, we
do that sort of thing better down our
way %
do, cht
Yes For instance, there was a
Chinaman killed by smoking opium n
few months ago down there. OF course
| few around and had a jury sworn in
before you could wink-they come to
sometimes, you know-nnd what with
summuning witnesses, testimony, etc,
before night | had a bill against the
county for SOC so"
"Morc-than the Chinaman was
worth, | should say. " said the metro
politan official
But wait. | dug up the remains
from the county burying ground the
same night, rushed EN- round to the
laboratory and had EN- embalmed all
ready for emergencies. Well, about
three days after that they had ii ghost
dance and free fight out at the Digger
Indian encaInpment, and so | had the
Celestials pigtail cut short, "A few feath-
ers twisted in it and hid him in the
bushes out that way. Then | had him
found and reported, and as the jury
couldn't agree AS to the particular tribe
the Indian belonged to, | impaneled
another one-doubles the fees. don't
you sec-aud gave the papers IA Gus.
ing good item. It's II great snap to
stand in with the reporters, 10y the
way"
How much did that moker'
Well. ! was about $40 ahead on
the speculation then SO | waited until
a lot Of emigrants passed up country,
and the next day one Of en- was found
dropped dead ON the road of heart dis
ease-catch on, don't you2 Same old
corpse with a big felt hat aud rawhide
boot-pockets full Of macaruni |
think | tapped the taxpayers for about
S175 more that time. Well, / sorter let
up for "A week after that, and then had
the remains doubled up ia n packing
box and found among the unclaimed
freight down at the railroad station.
The papers wrote it up AS "A 'mysteri
GUS murder case and we had a ten
days examination, Lemme see; |
think it Vas Sti6.5O the whole thing
pnnned out before We we're through
that time. How does that strike YOU p
: why, l never heard Of
Why, that's nothing, my dear sir
nothing. | haven't got half through
with hat Chinamnn yet. When | left
home | had just got him nicely wedged
in among the branches of "a tree in the
woods just out Of town, dressed in n
suit Of complete black, with an old
telescope in his coat tail pocket and a
pan u blS green BOBRleS on us nose,
for all the world like one of those OBJ
s]ervatory cranks. Grapple with the
idea, don't your
Cant say | do"
why, that's the dodge,
don't you see2 Unknown scientific
party fallen out of IA balloon. Ny own
design entirely. Splendid, isn't in The
remains are n little worn by this time.
know, but what are you going to do
in such an internally healthy climate
as San Diegol expect to send the old
lady and the girls to Europe on that
cadaver yet, if l have to wire it to-
gether TO do it. No, my lear sir, your
metropolitan orone mean well, |
know, but what you need is "A little
more enterprise, ingenuity and-and
ginger"
I'm afraid we do.
Exactly But | must hurry up to
Bush street and get front seats for this
new farce comedy that opens to night
Great place 10 study up on anatomy, |
hear, and giving a late stockbroker
who had just been brought in a punch
or two with his zane the doctor drifted
out-Sau Francisco Examiner.