Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-11-07
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
1t 10 . Foolish Man Who Tackles . West
ern Editor

y
ern Editor.
From the New York World.
WANTED.-The Kicker wants to engage g
spirited and enterprising young man who is no,
afraid Of work and is ambitious to build him.
self up to act as collector. We have abou,
5000 standing out and will furnish mule and
| two revolvers as outfit free of expense. The
collector will be allowed to retain half of his
collections.
We regard this as a splendid opening for
some ambitious eastern man who wants to work
up in journalism He will no doubt be shot
at fifty times for every hundred dollars he COL
lects but if he's got the right sort of sand he ]!
pull through and come out on top OF the bean.
After we've given him dozen lessons or get
ting the drop, and he's had q couple of dsys'
acquaintance with our mule we'll back him to
tackle any ono OF our on-paying subscribers
outside Of a rifle pit In case Of death we
guarantee a fair to medium funeral Apply al
once.
AT Ir AGAIN.-As is well known to tho read.
ers OF the htc6er we have private graveyard
with ten graves in it. The ten graves repre-.
sent ten different men who were mistaken in
sizing us up for an editor without back bone.
We did the fair thing in each and every Case
sending for the coroner, buying a coffin, turn
ing out the boys In procession. and SO on. The
average cost has been S27 per funeral. and
that's rich for this locality.
Our contemporary. who has never shot a
man, has been insanelv jealous of our plant
out on the sand lots, and on two occasions be.
fore last night has been caught in the act OF
trying to steal some of the head boards to star,
a graveyard of his own. At 10 o'clock last
night We received word that he was out there
again. We mounted our mule and rode out.
lie had )ustcommenced operations.
We RUN HIM SEVEN NILES
| He had his old mule hitched to the fence and
took the alarm and mounted before we got up.
We run him seven miles, but his mule was the
fastest and he got away.
We want to be neighborly as an editor, but
we also want this old lop-shouldered, bow.
legged hyena to thoroughly understand that he
has at last made us tired, and that any further
| fooling around on his part will leave his milk.
ana-w"ter old sheet without a head.
| IT Was FALuRE.-wc got a sly hint sew
eral days ago that the postmaster Of this town,
whom we had to shoot in three different places
| within year in order to expedite the mail
service and prevent him from walking on us.
had sent over to Tubac to get man to do us
up. Inc routine OF getting out one of the big.
| gest and brightest weekly papers in America
subscriptions payable in advancel went on
| just the same, however, and we didn't do any
private and confidential worrying.
| All the forenoon yesterday We heard some
one hoilering around the streets for gore and
upon inquiry learned that it was the man
| from Iubac. He was reported as being a real.
old-fashioned terror from Grizzly mountain
with his toe nails dyed red and his eyes shin.
ing IKE two camp fires. and that he was also
looking Tor us. We were never more calm OF
serene. We sent out to our grave digger ia
excavatc another hole and wrote a note to
Steve Williams, the undertaken, to yarnish mn
whitewood 2x6, and get the trimmings ON.
1t was about o'clock in the afternoon when
| we finished our editorial labors for that day
and started out for saunter. just as We
| turned into Sioux place the man from Tubac
jumped out on US from doorway and started
In to secure our right ear as a relic We sal
up with him most of the night last night Ono
OF the bullets has been extracted, but the other
couldn't be reached with a three-foot stick
Unless Inflammation sets in he will very likeIy
pull through. II he does he assures us that he
will be a changed man.
He wouldn't exactly say that ths postmaste,
gave him $50 to come over and humble on,
proud editorial spirit, but he said enough tc
satisfy US that we must run over tomorrow and
have another pop at Mr.. Wanaaaker's man
He's getting too coltish again.