davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
An Angry Client.

A lawyer of some eminence in this city
while erioying social hour with some
friends the other night, narrated an in
cident of his practice in which Daniel
Drewy then "king of Wall street" fig
ured. Mr.. Drew had been sued by per-
sons who had been let out Of the small
end of the horn by him in a stock trans
action. The rugged financier was indig-
nant and vicious when he sought the
aforesaid lawyer and requested him to
take the case. The amount for which
the plaintiffs sued was about S35, 200 and
Drew said that he wanted the case
brought into court that he might show
up them fellers."
The lawyer made careful investiga-
ton of the facts and found that his cli-
ent had scarcely leg to stand on in
court. He was anxious TO win the case,
however, and determined TO see what in
genuity and exhaustive knowledge of le-
gal technicalities would accomplish. Cir
cumstances favored him, and through
carelessness on the other side he succeed
ed in non-suiting the plaintiffs Elated
with this result he called on Mr.. Drew
and triumphantly announced that yicto-
~ was theirs.
But ! haven't had a chance 10 testi-
fy," said the old speculator. peev-
ishly.
That was not necessary. We have
won the case without trial"
" The deuce you have J" exclaimed Mr..
Drew, angrily. Well, you are a fine
lawyer TO look after the interests of your
clients. | wouldn't give dollar a bunch
for such lawyers as you"
You don't seem to understand, Mr..
Drew" explained the lawyer "We have
won the suit, and you are S35 900 ahead,
TO say nothing of the cost"
Thunder and lightning, man y fum-
ed the brusque Daniel. What do
care about the s35,O0O? / wanted to get
on the witness stand and tell what
thought of them fellers."-N 7. Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
It Took the "OId Man. "

An actor told a story the other evening
about a fencing master in LONDON who
had two sons. Both Of TEN, like the
father, were physical giants. Who was
the strongest and best fighter was dis
Pusei question until a burglar got into
the bOGse one night. One OF the sons,
opening the front door with a latch-key
late at night, found a rObber in the hall.
They Immediately elinehed. The other
brother, hearing the noise, rushed down
scairs, AMI not being able in the dark to
distinguish burglar from a worthy and
honest citizen Of London, proceeded TO
pound both men whom he ran against.
Meanwhile brother No. / thinking there
were two burglars IN the house, turned
half Of his attention to the new enemy
s7d the fight became desperate. The
father, awakened by the uproar, rushed
downstairs with heavy walking stick.
Then the fight was something to admire,
but 60 avoid. When il was all over and
the gas was lighted by the aged fencing.
master, it was discovered that he had
whipped not only the burglar but bis two
sons. When this story was told an Eng
hsaman was one Of the party. well,
he said, Il never before heard of burg
lar 30 reckless as 70 enter the house Of an
English fencing-master. Served him
right. ~. T. Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
Modern Steamships Have no
Fear of Storms.

1t is not when the seas ceme pounding
over the bows that the captains face
lengthens. Even VIXEN it is necessary 10
keep the passengers below, and the spray
is carried as high as the foretop. his con-
fidence in his ship is unabated. His
spirits do not fall with the barometer, and
though the clouds hang low and the air
is filed with stinging moisture flying
like sleet from the Kissing sea-eyen
when boats are torn out Of the davits,
and iron bits and ventilators are snap
ped from their flstenings like pipe-siems,
he has no misgiving as 20 the ability Of
the ship 20 weather the gale, or the fierc-
est hurricane that can blow.
Give him an open sea, without haze or
fog or snow, and neither wind nor wave
can alarm him. He knows very well, as
all who are experienced in such matters
do, that the modern steamers Of the great
Atlantic lines are 20 carefully constructed
and Of such strength that the founder
ing Of one Of them through st-ess Of
weather alone Is well-nigh inconceivable
But when q fog descends, then IL is that
his face aud manner change. and be who
has been the most sociable and gayrst of
men, suddenly becomes the moss anxious
and taciturn. His seat az the head ri the
table is vacant look for him and v0u
viii NOS fnd aim. a. .n fair weather. di-
verting groups of girls tucked up IN
steAmeT-chair on the prouenade-deck.
but pacing the bridge and putting a cigar
which apparently has not been alloEed
% 70 oui sinco .t Has lighted A. the big
ship backed from her wharf into The
North River
Wherever and whenever it occurs. fog
is a source of danger from which neither
prudence nor skill can guarantee immu-
nifty and whether the ship Is slowed
down or going a. fall speed. there is
cause for fear while this gray blindness
battles the eyes. With plenty Of sea
room the danger is least, and Il increases
near land, especially where the coast is
Wild and broken, ike that Of ireland
and Wales, and where there are many
vessels as vel as rocks 70 be passed
Wm. II. Rideling iz June SerjHsr.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
He Got at the Landlord.


When Mr.. Nsgger got back from town
Ms Nsgger was practicing a song al the
new piano her mother had given her.
stop that screeching," he snapped,
throwing folded slip Of paper on the Ia
bic, q and put that rent receipt away with
the others"
"Our dearly-loved landlord wasn't
overagreeable. should Judge" remark
ed Mrs Nagger, giving the inofensive in
strument a final bang and descending
from a stagger at high c.
Nav groWled Mr. Nagger, he was
not. He said he'd fix that bath room
faucet when he got good and ready, and
il We wanted screens so BAD We could put
'em in ourselves ami pay for 'em, too.
He's dead sore cause everybody but US
moved out"
" / told you so. What can you expect
from a landlord who raises the rent 80
per cent on every fiat in the building ?"
"of course you told me so of course.
You tell me everything you know, and
more, too. Perhaps you can tell me if
he's rented any of his fats?"
"I can
"Then why don't you ?"
He hasn't. He brought in one man,
though, to look at the fiat below US, and
nearly caught him"
Rent too high, l s'pose."
" He said it wasn't"
"What then ~
"He found out you lived alone and said
he knew you," said Mrs. Nagger, de-
murely, thus scoring one on her lord
and master.
Hell not get tenant this year." said
Mr.. Nsgger, ignoring his wife's delicate
compliment.
How do you know ?' said Mrs. Nag
ger, trying not to laugh.
Because" said Mr.. Nagger, taking a
long roll from his pocket, 1--WE brought
you dozen new songs."-Chicago Tri-
b'me.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
WHOLE NO. POSI-.
SOMERSET, PA, WEDNESDAY JUNE 10, 1891.

Gineral Jackson once but he didn't come.
"So hearn, said the Sheriff, san you
air not comm with me-"
"That's what l amt"
an bet you sl5, Bill, that you do"
"I'll take that bet, but in the mean
time if you dom take yo' arms often that
fence, I'll drop you right in yo' tracks"
%That's the way like to hear a man
talk, Bill Say, last night the jailer and
his two sons went possum huntin.' They
called up the dogs-and they have got
some Of the finest hounds you ever saw
and here they came with brightness in
their eyes an deep music in their voices.
You ought to have heard them go DUNK,
DUNK Well, they went out, an about
midnight they came back with two Of
the biggest and fattest 'possums you ever
saw. Well, they dressed them right thar
an then an put them out on the house
so the frost could fall on them, an began
to bake them along with some sweet po-
tatoes. Then the jailer's son he says,
says he, Pop. We amt got no regular
wildcat ticker to 90 with these here
'possums, 30 the old man, havin' a
mighty eye for art, gave jug 10 the
young feller an told him to 90 up in the
mountains. The young feller went but
be couldn't find no licker, an al last he
seen a ole feller drivin' a wagin, an
when he asked the ole feller il be could
git any Ticker he swOre that he didn't
know nothin' about il but says be, II
you will take that jug up on the hillside
an put a dollar under il / don't know
what mout happen, bat when you come
back / don't believe the dollar will
be there Wall, We went up on the
mountain side an pat a dollar under a
jug an went away, but bless yo' life when
he came back the dollar was gone but the
Jug Was dlled with the best hcker that
had passed It's teens. An 30, At dinner
to-day they are goin' 70 have them pos
sums an sweet potatoes an that old
that's got q bead on il like dewdrop ;
an say, that jAiler says that you may en-
JOY the feast"
Look here, Marx, you amt tryin TO
trifle with my feelin's, air you ."
NO I'm tellin' the Lords truth ; an
say, that amt all. The Perdue boys
caught big bear down in the bottoms
an after dinner they air goin' to set the
dogs on him in the Jail yard right in full
Wow Of yo' cell. Think Of that
'Look here, Mark, I am about convert
ed an III go with you if you'll let me
take my rife along"
''No, can't do that, Bill, an besides, I'll
have to handcuf you. Possum, sweet
potatoes, ticker with a bead on it Ike
dewdrop an bear fight in full view Of
yo' cell"
MARX, said Bill, as he put down his
rife, ''fetch on yo' handouts. Blamed if
l amt with you."-Opie p Read.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
Gems From Thackeray.

A good laugh is sunshine in house
l would rather have genius than
wealth.
A hero, whether be wins or loses, is a
hero.
l would rather win with honor than
honors.
You get the truth habitually from
equals only.
l would rather be a man of genius than
a peer Of the realm.
A woman without laugh in her is the
greatest bore in existence.
Countless knights were slain before st.
George won the battle. In the battle OF
life we are all going to try for the honors
Of championship.
Novels are sweet. All people with
healthy literary appetites love them
almost all women. vast number Of clev-
er, hard-headed men.
What mans life is not oyertaken by
one or more of those tornadoes that send
us out of the course, and fling US on rocks
to shelter as best we may
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
Popping the Question.

Don't be too sudden about it. Many a
girl has said mo" when she meant ''yes,"
simply because the lover didn't choose
the right time and pop the question
gently.
Take dark night for it. Have the
blinds closed, the curtains down and the
lamp turned most cut. Sit near enough
to her so you can hook your little fingers
into hers.
Wait until the conversation begins to
flag, and then quietly remark:
Susie, want TO ask you something"
She will fidget about little and prob
ably reply:
"Yes."
After pause you can add:
Susie, my actions must have shown
that is, you must have seen-I mean you
must have been aware that"
Pause here for while, but keep your
little fingers firmly locked. She may
cough and try to turn the subject by ask
ing you how you liked the sermon, but she
only does it to encourage you. After a
pause you can continue:
Il was thinking as l was coming up the
street tonight that before went away 1
would ask you-that is, would broaeh
the subject nearest MY mean l would
know my"
Stop again and give her hand gentle
squeeze. She may make move to get
away, or she may not. In either case it
augurs well for you. Wait five minutes
and then go on.
"The past year has been a very happy
one to me, but hope that future years
will oe still happier. However, that de-
pends entirely on you. I am here to-
night to know-that is, to ask you'll am
here tonight to hear from your own lips
one sweet"
Wait again. 1t isn't best to be too rash
about such things. Give her plenty Of
time to recover her compOsure, and then
put your hand on your heart and con-
tinue:
'Yes, thought as I was coming here
tonight how happy I'd been, and | said
to myself that if only knew ycu would
consent to be my-that Is, l said if l only
knew-if 1 was only certain that my
heart had not deceived me, and you
were ready to share my"
Hold on-there's no hurry about it
Give the wind chance to sob and moaI
outside among the trees. This will make
her lonesome, and call up all the love il
her heart. When she begins 10 cough
and grow restless you can go on.
Before l met you this world was &
desert to me. didn't take any pleasure
in life, and it didn't make any di Ference
whether the sun shone OF not Bu
what change in one short year. 1t i
for you to say whether my futur shal
be a prairie of happiness or on lonl
and never-ending pathway of Il listles
Speak, dearest Susie, and say-an d So.
that"
Give her FIVE minutes more by tn
clock and then add:
THAT yOu-you will be-that Is ths
you will be-be mine :"
She viii heave sign, look up at tn
clock and round the room, and t, Zen 8
she slides her head over your vest oocke
she will whisper;
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
The Horses STRONG stol nach.

Nothing on earth viii upset horses
stomach. This is not because th horse
does not feel pain, but simply secsuse
the horse has no gall bladder. Il as any
body ever seen horse sick at sea , Has
any body ever known an emetic o have
any effect on horse? At bull fight a
horse may be seen eating with MS en-
trails trailing on the ground. As fT the
contention that horse is not as sensi-
tive to pain as msn n, 1 think That a
horse is q great deal r.ore 80.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
Two Famous Men Converse.

A young woman was favored with a
chance to hear two famous poets con
verse. She was walking in Cambridge,
and saw Longfellow and lowell strolling
little way ahead. Her quick step soon
brought her near them. She thought 70
herself. Now I will get the freshet
utterances Of two great men," Just be-
fore she overlook them she saw pretty
child coming along, and about to meet
them. "What are little girls made Of
said one poet 10 another. sugar and
spice, and all that's nice, and that's what
little girls are made of."-ChriNian Jale's.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
A LOVERS JOY.

Only 3 simple truth
Told with a loving smile
A sentence small.
Yet holding all
A lone heart to begUile.
Only an answer sweet,
Whispered with downcast eyes:
"You love me true,
So ! love you"
As rosy bushes rise.
Now she is mine-all mine,
And / am hers as well
For love imparis
To trusting hearts,
Faith that no tongue can tell.
Now winds, blow high or low,
1t matters not, we say
For tender spring
VIII surely bring
Our happy wedding day.
Only twain man one,
Only bridegroom glad
And at his side
A blushing bride
In bridal garments clad.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

A girl in Kentucky has recovered -
damages from a steamboat company o
naming a boat after her without ask1
her permission and, besides, they mu
rename the boat. Miss Marshall tot
ofFense at & marine item containing q
information that "Kittie Marshall tos
the lower chute and ran her nose into
plantation
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
The Somerset Herald.
ESTABLISHED iszT.

Terms of publication
pBblisbed every Wednesday morning at q 90
.uuurn. II paid In advance otherwise q 50
III invzriAbly be charged
EoGbsc1psiOu viii be discOntinusd until al
.-.sr.ess are paid up. Rostmssserz nesisctins
,,uoaty Us when abscriDendO NOS taksoufths
- VII bs held responsible far ths nubsuip-
iJn.
sYssrrfbss removing nom one possonce 70 an
- ssoulc give us the name of TIE fOrner -
~ - he present ozoe Aee-s~
TIE soExzsFI HERALD,
soxEzzE1. Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

a say" said the investor, 'you adv'
tised your farm as fine location FOR
dairy. It hasn't single feature to recoi
mend it for that purpose Haint
There is a tremendous chalk deposit ir
bevoud that hill over there"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

The latest census taken IN Irelai
shows it TO have population Of 40
1e2. The total shows & decrease in G
last decade Of 466.474.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

When our pride, our avarice, our
terests. our desire to domineer, are wo1
ed upon, are We not forever pesteri
heaven to decide in their fivor2
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
ma s KINDiELL,

-, bis professional services 70 the citizens
-, -s.----ssf sud vicinity. Unless professionally
.-.-,.-sS he can b found Al his Once on Main 81
E1si q Diamond
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

This year is the centenary Of the d
coverv Of the Columbia river.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
ms Bills & COOPER
I'D DENTISTS.

o. over suyde's n-uE siore. Somerset, Pa
--.-.ffons pertaining 70 Dentistry skillfui-
mel special kfteation given - 1lling
.-gsrIrr i1f natural teeth Aruncisl dent
- - kis8 teelh inserted without plates
- r.rroalnln crowns attached - the natur-
apriis- 'ss-iyr-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
Ayers
SarsapariIla

For several months ] was troubled with
scrofulous eruptious over the whole body.
Ny appetite MAS had. and my system 50
Frustrated that was unable b work. After
trying several remedies iu vain. ] resolved
o. take Ayers Sarsap.gilla. and dif 40 with
such good effect that les than one bottle a.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10
John Stenqer,
Thursday. Iune ii. 1891.

atMcClintOck Building 5i4 Market ST, Pittsburg
This will also include Preliminary examinations
for those intending 70 enter the University year
later. S26 Is prize offered by the Princeton
Alumni Association of Western Penna for the
best examination passed here for the Freshman
Class Applicants should send their names early
70 H L Hohring See'y Alumni Assn, 100 DiA-
m0nd St., Pittsburgh Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

IA. CARUTHERS. NJ. y.
Il PHYsICiAN AND SURGEON,
" eonERsET Pa
.-.-.-e fsian s1reef next door 70 Printing
- 49,. 81 lEEt calls a. Once
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

The funds and securities of this bank
are securely protected in celebrated Cor
liss Burglar-proof Safe. The only Safe
made absolutely Burglar-proof.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-06-10

EDWARD ScULL, : : : President
VALENTINE HAY, VICE President
ANDREW PARKER, :: CASHIER
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-05-10
AID FOR THE TEACHERS.
Unusual Sickness Has Depleted Their
Beneficiary Fnnd.

Unusual Sickness Has Depleted Their
Beneficiary Fnnd.
About ten years ago an organization
was formed among the teachers in the
public schools known ~ the Teachers
Mutual Protection Association. This
association has, by an annual assess
ment of $3.50 upon each of Its men,
bers, has paid $3.50 to each member
who has been absent from school on
account Of sickness, with consequent
loss of salary, the maximum allowance
being $45. Until this year, the associa-
ton has met all Its obligations without
difficulty, but the prevailing influenza
OF the last two years has depleted its
treasury, and there will be deficit by
the end of the year of nearly $500.
1t is proposed to give an entertain
ment Friday evening, May %, the pro-
ceeds of which will be devoted to meet
ing the obligations of this society.
More explicit statements OF the nature
Of entertainment will appear later.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-05-10
SHOULD JOIN THE LEAGUE.
Mrs. Blumrich's Little Boy Makes q 80
Bill for . Rubber Ball.

Mrs. Blumrich's Little Boy Makes q 80
Bill for . Rubber Ball.
A 5-year-old son of Mrs. o. Blumrich
innocently appropriated $l0-blll be-
longing to his mother. The loss of
such = pet in the Blumrich home Gre
ated grief, and forthwith the police
were called to detect the culprit. A
young man was taken into the dark re-
cesses of the sweat-box, but he proved
an alb, and was released. Then Joe
Smith, he of the lynx-eye and acute
olfactory organ, began to peek and
smell about the Blumrich castle. The
boy was finally selected as the pur-
loiner of the $780," and when ques-
toned promptly admitted taking the
money. The vignette and KS, together
with the streaks of green tickled his
taste for the artistic. and with true boy
ish abandon, be traded the scrap of pa
per with another boy for a scent rub
Der ball, an congratulated himself on
making an excellent trade. The other
boy was found at candy store trying
to netiate the "sl0' for 2-cent roll of
Yucatan chewing gum. The bill was
restored to the Blumrich exchequer
and the boy given lecture on the
illness of the whence IN financial mat
tiers.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-05-10

Brief Diss for the Tusefai ssd stray
Items for Ala.

Items for All
Poetry Of the War" of course. is
the subject now sgitsting the minds of
most of our local vocalisis and great
many of them will take part IN the
affair. A list OF the soioists was printed
last sunday. Since then Geo. ID. Her.
rick has consented 10 assist. Reheafsals
Will be held nearly every evening TINS
week, preceding the opening nlgat.
The chofases. which are grand Old war
songs IF both the North and SOUTH,
sound fairy inspiring when sung by .
large chorus.
The postponed 0wastanong musicale
will be held next Tuesday evening.
Ora Pearson, the tenor, has removed
his residence from Wealthy-ave. 10
East-st.
On next Friday evening F. c. Leath-
ers will give pupils recital at hls
rooms III the West Michigan Conserva-
tory.
Geo. A. Smith. formerly of this city.
is now singing with the Grand English
Opera Company, at the chicago Au-
dItorlum.
Prof. Post has decided 10 remove
from the Kendall block. tie IS now
seeking eligible apartments III quiet
neighborhood.
The Oratorio Society is making great
preparation for the ANIMAL May festi-
val. Sololsts Of note have been secured
for the occasion.
Mrs. ii. ID. Moore, of Allegan, is
spending some weeks IN this city, IN
order that her daughters, Misses Pearl
and Pansy. may pursue their studies IN
music here.
Mrs. +. NJ. Davis is at her old no me,
Claremont, n. H., where she Was called
by the death OF her father. who had
been Ill for some time. Her place In
st. Marks choir will be filled today by
Mrs. Reuben Peterson.
The PeninsuIar Club musicale held
last Thursday evening was musical
success, but the audience WAS not large.
The affair Was given by Messrs. Camp
bell, Morenead and Post. assist ed by
Mrs. Yale, Mrs. Merrill and Miss Ada
Hunt.
Miss NJ. c. O'Donoughue, the pianist,
who has SO many friends IN this city,
IS now holding fine position in SEM
mary at Norwalk, Conn. She expects
to remove to Los Angeles. CAL, next
fall, where she will make her residence
with her mother.
Prof. Yerex and others have pur-
chased the old Clay property, at the
corner of Jefferson-ave. and Washing
ton-st., and the art department of the
West Michigan Conservatory will be re-
moved thither. Prof. Post has not yet
decided as To where he will locate his
studio next season.
Al last a date for the Schubert club
club has been arranged at the Detroit
Opera House. The evening will he
June 5, and Director Morehead has
been to Detroit. working hard for the
success of the concert. 1t is also poss-
BILE the Schuberts will assist at the open
ing of the Ottawa Beach hotel IN June.