Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-03-12
The OMNIBUS.

There is no activity in business cir.
:les superior to that of the buzz saw
Hush money is what the young Inns.
oand parts with for soothing svrnns
stc.
When the somersault-thrower dies
him.
Water is the emblem of truth b,,
The soap men always use it in maxine
/ I've.
1t is singular that when a man gets
full he is most apt 20 indulge in Va.
cant stare.
The lawyer believes in millions for
defense" and the same amount for
prosecution.
The Office does not seek the ma,
any more; its time is all taken m
lodging him.
Judge-"How do you know the pris.
oner made great disturbance" Pc.
liceman-"He woke me up
If Diogenes had lived to-day hc
would have solved the honest man
problem by buying mirror.
Emma" Why do you throw cIancos
at that young man across the roomon
Julia -'.Because he is good eaten y
He-"I feel completely prostrated
wish l were dead" She well
why don't you let me send for a doc.
toro'
A mule would rather hear bimso,,
bray than to listen to any body e!ss'i
music. A good many people are bull
like him.
1t is great fun teaching a pretty
girl how to skate, and the more src.
cessful the teacher is the longer sh,
is getting to be expert
"How is it that you call the Hubers
cousins? Are you relatedp' Only
in u way. Their favorite pug and
ours are full brothers.
He" And you say we are too poor
to marry; would you marry me if YOU
were rich?" She-..No, but | would
marry you if you were rich?"
Disappointment first comes in lilo
to the baby who has horn given to
him for present and then finds no
hasn't wind enough to blow it,
Sunday-School Ttacher-"Now, lit
tie boys, what do you know abou.
GOLIATH" Freddy Fangle--"Pleasc,
ma'am, ne was rocked to sleep"
a contemporary starts the query:
'Why do shoes squeal?' Probably
for the same reason that opera singers
do. because OF the music in their soles.
Trembling Youth Madam | love
you to distraction; will you be my
wife," Girl of the Future -"You
may leave your references and call
again."
Are those people really grown
up?" asked il little girl whose mother
had taken her to see the dwarfs "Yes,
dear, but their mammas fed them on
condensed milk"
Judge (to small witncss) DO You
know the nature OF an OATH" Witness
-"Oh. yes, Sir am an office boy
and have TO answer the telephone
every few minutes"
Police Judge (who is trying to find
out the trade of the accused) -''W ha:
are you, anyhow" Prisoner-"Ash
yer honor hash no doubt Obsherved,
I'm (hicj a little off this morning."
Politician (angrily)-''These news
papers tell abominable lies about me- -"
Erie nd-''And yet they might do worse.
Politician" Do worse! What do you
mean?" Friend They might tell
the truth"
An eminent surgeon says that with
four cuts and few stitches he can
alter a mans face so that his own
! mother would not know him. That's
nothing. Our daily newspapers do
that much with only one cut.
OF all the torments known to man
} The greatest, we assert,
Is to wear fourteen collar
Upon fifteen shirt
! First Young Lady-"Do yon al:ays
buy two kinds OF paper9' Second
Young Lady always. You see,
when l write to Charlie | use red
paper; that means love. When l an'
. swer Jim's letters l use blue paper
which means faithful unto death
See?"
i, Little Cohen-"Pass dor vinegar.
moder." Mrs. Cohen-"YOu mustn't
take SO much vinegar, Mosey. Dos
vas bad for your constitution. Mr.
Cohen-"Let him hat all he wants
Leah. II you stunt his growth he can
ride on der street car all his life at
$ half price"
where are you going, my pretty mad
''Pm going to sneeze, kind sir" she sala.
"And at whom will you sneeze, my pre''y
maid!"
r "Atchoo. atchoo! kind sir, she saio'
i. Mr.. Murphy entered bar.room anu