Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-03-30

honest that he could not afford socks
His successor will doubtless be plain
man, who will go about canvassing the
Seventh district and wiping his nose on
the top rail Of the fair ground fence be-
cause he is so plain and poor that he
cannot afforl handkerchief.
Until last June Mr.. Simpson was the
city marshal of Medicine Lodge. He
was up to hat time regarded as short
on genius and long on socks. Now it is
otherwise. Next to the ''Kreutzer
Sonata" and the young lady at the Four
teenth street museum who has heavy
sorrel name down her spinal column, the
Sockless holds the age on public notice.
Colonel Marsh Merdock was the first
to discover that Jerry did not wear
socks. The two went in swimming to-
gether during the campaign, and then
the secret got out. The Great I'm
socked owns $40 acres of land, which is
this year all into wheat, or nearly so at
least.
He also owns several heai of bright
young heifers, several of whom will en-
ter the mich arena this spring. Mr..
Simpson is the author of a small blue
book on The Care of the Cow, and I'd
der Information Generally" 1t is dedi-
Gated to Thomas Brewer Peacock, the
poet of Topeka.
am indebted for most of the above
facts to Mr.. Simpsons Medicine Lodge
biographer and chiropodist, who wishes
me to say that he treats all troubles of
the feet, such as corns, bunions and in
growing nails, chilblains, quarter crack,
etc. etc, by mail as well as personally.
He has bust of Mr.. Simpsons foot at
his place, and cheerfully answers all
questions regarding the great man.
Mr.. Simpson Is the humorous feature
of the new and powerful movement
which seems 10 create general mirth,
but there Is a power and principle be-
hind it ali to which 1t will be profitable
to pay attention. 1t may not win this
time nor next time, but when it does
win the professional politician will do
well to get into his cyclone cellar and
spread his umbrella.
Charles Lederer, Chicago, writes: Il
am an artist, and have very little exer-
else indeed. What would YOU advise?
Do you favor bowling: Did you ever
bowl any
Yes, Charles, have bowled in the
happy past. IfavorIt. Bowling builds
up person real well. You will find
good bowling club near the Germania.
on the North Side, where lot of talent
ed cusses go for to bowl | removed my
dressing sacCue and bowled there one
evening quite a while The city libra
Ran was pres mt. He asked me to bowl.
! had never before bowled At the end
OF long, straight, convex alley stood
several wooden pins, which it Is the OBJ
| Ject Of the player to knock over by
means Of large, heavy balls also made of
/ wood. If the player can at the same
/ time also mucilate a small mulatto boy
! who sets VI the pins much mirth Is
/ added to the game | went there need
! ing exercise, and got so much of it
/ that have not needed any at all ever
since. | did not knock over any pins,
! but l got the exercise.
/ 4 few DAYS afterward met the hoary
! headed librarian on the street He said.
Il must tell You that we had a Job put
! up on you at The Bowling club the other
! night"
All" said l cheerily. What was it,
We'll, we arranged a string in front
Of the pins so that we could throw your
ball off the track every time, and thus
we could prevent Your getting single
! pin even by accident. But" he added,
with Tremendous sigh that was almost
/ a sob, lit was not much of a success"
Why"
why: Why because your ball never
got to the string"
Yet regard bowling as a healthful
exercise, and far superior TO the mutila-
ton of scroll saw brackets and members
of the family by means Of Indian clubs.
have also tried dumb bells. \ very
large one is now holding my door shut
| as write these lines.
But | was benefited more by the
game Of bowls. l think, than by any
other game | ever played Tiddlede-
winks, of course, will always have its