The state herald., 1891-04-24
THE OMNIBUS.
Pressed ior time-Mummies.

was poppin' Jay.
Observation-Disclosures do you want TO DO
savedp Young Broker (nbsent minded
ly)-,Anything in ftp
Tho merchant may know nothing OF
the pugilist, but no has daily struggles
with the prico-Aghter.
II you don't want people to look al
ways on the dark side Of life give them
an occasional peep at tho other side.
Every heart knoweth Its own bitter
ness. Many man who looks happy
ID wearing shirt his wife has made.
Before we were married." said she,
"his displays Of affection werc positive
ly overdone." And nowp" They arc
very rare"
Tommy--Paw, what Is ,iamer Mr..
Figg-Fame, my son. Is something o
man makes money out OF after he Is
dead.
II you have found some ono who
knows how to scratch your back just
where 1t itches you have come pretty
near finding your affinity
An agricultural editor says that tho
best article he ever saw on milk was
cream. Some city people think that II
is not very widely copied.
A. I hear that you arc going 10
marry widow with elO, 900. B.-Y",
havo got things mixed. I am going 70
marry 90. 600 with widow.
Miliccnt-What do you think. Maudp
Mr.. Bullfsh has proposed TO me. Maud
Well ! always thought he'd marry
anybody who would take him.
II you are told that you resemble n
great mnn say nothing. 1t may be
that tho resemblance will cease tho
moment you open your mouth.
lie (iacetiously)-And do you think
baby will resemble me, wifiep Sho
Qartly)-I shouldn't wonder; he keeps
INC awake ut night often enough.
Grand opera comes high, Doesn't
itp" said her husband, referring to the
price Of admission. mot very high in
the neck?" she replied. CHANGING at ono
OF the boxes.
Ono thing ought TO tell you before
you make up your mind to marry my
daughter; she sits all dry at the piano. :"
"Oh, i don't mind that ut nil II sho
doesn't play"
Toachcr-Correct Woman Is in tho
feminine gender. Now the sentence
speaks Of young woman in fashion,
able attire. What gender is attirop
Bright Boy-Masculinc.
Sho-My poor dear father knew
Washington 30 intimately. and myself
was born on the 22d OF February. no Of
course feel like-likc- lie (help-
Ing her ouD-Lilse a relic.
Amateur-Why il 1t that nil English
motors have such n long stridca Re-
formed actOr-Mcthinks tho reason OF
u is that tho railroad ties arc placed
further apart in England than hes~.
Her levity inside is thrown,
The world she deems sham.
in fact, shc has so pious grown
She won't eat dcvilcd ham.
"lic is welded to his art said
Hicks, apropos Of Sketchy, the nrtiIt.
You're wrong. He pays too mch
attention TO his art TO be welded 10 Il.
Hc Is engaged to it." said Mrs. Hicks,
fcornfully.
why. hello, old boy, haven't seer
you since you were married. Wha
nre you doing now? Travelling for a.,
house, supposcP" mo, not oxucs.y
Since tho baby came have become
iioorwalkcr."
First ActOr-You never Introduce
.our wife to any OF your gentleman
friends. Why is that? Second Actor
I'ecausc II would be Of no use. Non,
81 them will clope with her. I've trle,
II timc and time again.
An ego to the future. Il don't Sc,
Row you cnn be pleased Mt tho iica o
Your brother marrying her. Sizes :,
Inst md ha,um-scnrum. She'll ncvc
make n good wife," '.Oh. but sl,c'l
rake such delightful chnperonc."
There is one thing about YOU
dAuber, that cant understand.
said Schumble. What Is that ole
fellow'" That with your uncqunlc,
taste I'm nrt Won sho,ld have sn.h -.
lnrpe collection of vour own n,c,,,n,.
A, old ,,d, ,,... .....,,. -,
r,an who w,s r,..n,,,' ;,;.. 1' Az,
,,lccrorh w,r. a. ,a"ra, su W
the accident took nine, sho s.Ia
lind luck In 'cm Tbov ,ro nj, b.,
buys m. coios,i,, i,ah,. ~, M ,.a'
cn,na ao.n +" s"'' "'' ''e"' ''
,' Wv"
Mrs. Porkly-I often wonder hos
psoplo manage 10 understand caci
other In France. Mrs. (;othnm-.IIov
absurd. Mrs. Porkly-l don't Ihini
IL absurd Mt NIL. Both my daughter
speak French and they cant understand
each other.
Somebody has computed that 4
thlrty.two million people should cln.r
hands they ro,tId ,,oo,h round ,h,