Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1891-01-31

81 suppose you could do BETTER" l
retOrted.
Certainly. A woman can, per-
hap3, buy gimcracks to better advan>
tage than man, but when it comes
down to solids she can't be trusted"
Every well; you buy the groceries
for the next week. The cook will tell
you what is wanted"
"I'll do it, and I'll show you that
we will live "A great deal better and
yet save 81 or So a week. They can't
play any roots on me, Mrs. Bowser."
Next morning, before going away,
he went out to the cook and said:
"I'll send up the meat for dinner.
That's all, / suppose?"
1--WE want few things beside, sir.
Put down salt, soap, pepper, tea, Gin
namon, starch, sage, potatoes, vine
gar"
what! Haven't we got a blessed
thing in the house?"
"Lots O. things, sir, but there's
something wanting every day. You
can add wash-board, lamp CHM
ney, some sapolio, a box of matches
| and"
THAT will dov interrupted Mr..
Bowser. 81 can see that there has
been the grossest mismanagement in
this house. It's a wonder that we are
not on the way to the poor>house."
swell, if you don't get 'em we
won't have 'em," said the cook, and
with that bit of natural philosophy
she turned away to wash her dishes.
Some meat came up and was pre-
pared for dinner. When Mr.. Bowser
came home he inquired:
"What have you been paying for
roast beef?"
about thirteen cents"
"Ha! l suspected it from the way
the butcher acted. He has been
swindling you at the rate of six cents
per pound"
"Now
"Fact. sent up a piece at six
cents per pound"
When we got seated at the table he
looked about and remarked that the
cook had forgotten to put on the pota>
toes.
You didn't send up any," 1 re-
piled.
"Whatr
"Ncthing came but meat"
"By the great two.humped camel,
but-~
He suddenly felt in his vest pocket,
and there was the list of groceries
With that he took up the carving
knife and fork and began to carve
the meat. 1t didn't carve. He bore
down and sawed away, and finally
laid his knife down and said:
Mrs. Bowser, is this piece of rhi-
noceros or beef?"
ats neck piece of beef, Mr.. Bow
ser. When l buy 'em for mince pies
l boil the meat about two days. You
sent il for q roast, and the cook roast.
ed it."
He turned very white and kicked
the cat from under the table, and our
dinner was a slim and unpleasant
one. After getting on his hat and
overcoat he went out to see the
cook, and as he appeared in the
kitchen door she said:
"There's no butter for supper, and
want you to send up some tomatoe;
} for soup, two iron spoons, package
of stove polish, some silver soap, all
spice, oyster crackers and bluing
Here's list"
'Do you pretend to say we want all
those thingsW he demanded.
-'Yes, and many more! / never
worked in place before where haC
) so little to do with. If you'll send W
= man and an axe I'll have that bee
, cut up cold for superb
. | could hear Mr.. Bowser breathing
80 feet distant, and one of his shoe
strings broke with loud snap, bu
he went out of the house without eX
ploding. In the afternoon the things
came up-all but the tea and butter
At supper time the cook made coffee
Mr.. Bowser noticed it as we sa
down, and shutting the aroma he re
marked:
To Doesn't your girl know the differ
ence between breakfast and supper
And where on earth is the butter p
{ "You didn't send up either tea o.
butter"
"What! Mrs. Bowser, do yoI
imagine rVe gone crazy?