The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-09-23
PITH AND POINT.

Tired all round-The wagon wheel
Baltimore american. =
When the mice are away the cat win!
play.-Boston Transcript. {, I,
The girl Of the period-The lady COM
positor.-Boston Transcript.
The riding habit is not bad habit il
it fits well.-Pittsbury Dispatch.
Money which is "coming to your
does not always arrive.-Pittsburg Chsua-
icle.
Jack Frost will call around promptly
to settle the mosquitoes bill. Richmond
Recorder. ..,
Speaking about deformities, every po.
liceman has club and.-Binahanton
Republican. ~.
A friend in need is friend who
generally strikes you for a quarter
Tezas siitsings.
The dishonest butcher is always will
ing to meat his customers half-weigh.-
Teas Sttings.
The hand-shakeris is one of the biggest
trials that prominence encounters
Washington Star.
Many young hearts have been set on
fire this summer by teSnis matches,
Binghamton Republican.
These are the days when the tramp,
and. the pumpkin are both getting very
seedY.-Bahimore american.
In the game of life the men strive to
make points and the girls are all after,
the counts.-Elmira Gazette. d
We have noticed that the boys who
are great to "cut up" are always invited
when there is party.-Atehison Globe. |
The thermometer is thing Of which
everybody has low estimate when It
takes high stand.-Boston Transcript.
A contemporary has the effrontery TO-;
ask: Is the horse race dying out2 No,
but it's going fast.-Philadslphia Tin'es.l
A sailor who can't swim is about as
badly off as a soldier who can't rum
We should always be prepared for emer-
gencies.-Puc6. !
Fortunes roads are like those in the
parks. If we would like to take short
cut, we are sure to meet with-''KeeP
OFF the Grass P-Puek. /
g, "The shades of night are falling fast, =
sang Mr.. Mitts as he went to pull down;
the blind and ierked it off the roller
Binghamton Republican.
+, If one-half of the world knew as much.
about how it lives as the other half
knows, some great reforms would be-
speedily effected.-Pues.
Properly speaking, it is in the fall Of
, the year that good resolutions should be
made, as it is then that the leaves begin ,
| to turn. rn.-Raltinore american.
The difference between realism and
idealism is just the difference between a
girls opinion of her lover and the young
man himself -Some,oiMe Journal.
"Do not put your light under a BUSH
ell" but this does not mean that you
shall spend all your life marching in
screaming torchlight procession.-Dallas
News.
Arabella-"Why is Miss Passes so
proud2" Isabella-"Well, there are two
hundred million engagement rings in the
world, and she has one of them. ."-zhs
Jewelers' Circular. ,
"That little fellow deserves great
! credit to work as hatd as he does to
support his mother" "Perhaps he.
does, but then you can't very we'll give,
credit to o cash boy. ."-Battinaore Ansers-i
can.
Mother horrifed)-"What did You
let that young Snipkins kiss you forwi
Daughter (meekly)-"For only two
minutes, mamma, and then I told him
it was time to stop."-DetroH Free
Press.
A correspondent asks how he shall
salute lady if he chances to meet her
on the street and does not have his hat
on. I don't know of anything he can
do except to tip his kneecap.-Buta@
Erprsss.
Watts-"I don't approve of this idea
of burying every eminent citizen with q
brass band" Potts-"It would not be
so bad, though, if they'd bary brass
band with each eminent citizen. ."--Ln-
dianapolis Journal.
Miss Bulner-"I should think it
would be mortifying to Miss Ward to
lose her temper so often" Mr.. DeLoud-
81 should think it would give her con-
siderable satisfaction if she c,uld lose
it once and not recover t."-Loa0et
! Citizen.
Miss Sevenfgu,es--"Oh, Mr.. Gilthunt,
this sudden proposal surprises mel
am embarrassed" Mr.. Gilthunt--
uEmbarrassedl Then I take it all
back. I thought your fortune was
as secure as the Bank of Eng
land" Kate Fields Washington.
A man who was preparing series OF
recipes for a cookbook, engaged the
services of celebrated chef as critic and
reviser of his work. One day he SUBJ
mltted to the chef recipe for lemon
pie, which ended with the direction,
"Then sit on the stove and stir con-
stantly. The chef twirled his thumbs
and said: ''It strikes me that's rather a
useless direction, for if you sit on q stove
youre bound to stir. r."-Ar5onaut.
1t happened once that faithful
Moslem married, but, when he saw his
wife, she proved to be very uuprepos-
sessing, Some days after the marriage