The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-08-18
1t Opens the Eyes.

my daughter is losing her sight," said an anx
ious mother, "and just on the eve of marriage,
TOO! What shall do?" "Let her get married
by all MEANS" responded the doctor; marriage
is a regular eye-opener," mans eyes open
pretty widely when he finds his wi,e's charms
disappearing. Health is the best friend of
beauty, and the innumerable ills to which women
are peculiarly subject, Its worst enemies Ex-
perience proves that women who possess the
best health, use DR.. Plerce's Favorite Prescrip-
tiop. 1t is only medicine for women, sold by
druggists. under a positive guarantee from the
manufacturers, that it will give satisfaction In
every case. or money VIII be refunded. This
guarantee has been printed on the bottle-wrap-
per, and faithfully carried out for many years.
"That plumber employed is fooln
"why?"
II told him wanted running water I'm nv
bedroom, and he put it there. but with nothing
to shut IL of. Said that was MT speci6ed."e
Harpers Bazaar.
have been troubled with catarrh for ten
years and have tried number of remedies, but
found no relief until purchased bottle of Elys
Cream Balm. 1 consider 1t the most reliable
preparation for catarrh and cold In the head
Geo. E. Crandall, p NJ, Quonochawntaug, R. l.
young lady watching baseball game asked
her escort:
why does he call those balls foul?"
II don't know" he replied. "uness It is be-
cause they are flying over the fencep-Texas
Slftings.
Headache. costiveress, and piles are thoroughly
cured by judicious use OF Ayers Pills.
Uncle JOSH What's that thingY
City Nephew-That's a sprinkling cart.
Uncle Josh-lt tdont seem to be sprinkling
much.
City Nephew-wait till it gets to crossing
Good News.
have been troubled with chronic catarrh for
years. Ely's Cream Balm is the only remedy
among the many that have used that affords me
relief.-E. w. Willard. Druggist. Joliet, Ill.
Progress and Poverty.
Mr.. Bilgate entertaining friend at his subur-
ban home)-I haven't much elegance to offer you,
but this modest little home is the result of years
OF self sacrifice, and 1t is very dear to me-
his QUESTION, this is delightful BY the
way, VINO owns that elegant mansion across the
Bilgate-Oh, that belongs to one of my travelling
men-Cl0thier and Furnisher.
Keep your head free from itching and dandruff
by using Halls Hair Remover.
AhroW up yer nands,' demanded the highway
man, sternly.
Couldn't possibly do it, my dear fellow;
wouldn't have anything to catch them with when
they came down II did," replied Mr.. Snodgras.
Lowell Citizen. e'''
WON en- with pale, colorIess faces,
who feel week and discouraged, will receive both
| mental and bodily vgor by using Carter's Iron
Pills, which are made for the blood, nerves and
complexion.
"Dawkns looks very pale and anxious"
she is Worried he is to have very painful
| operation performed tonight"
whats that?"
"He is to have porous plaster removed from
| his back."-Epoch.
Smart Weed and ReiIadonna combined
with the other ingredients used In the best porous
plasters, make Carriers s. W. and b. Backache
Plasters the best In the market. Price 20 cents.
His Idea Of 1t.
S. CholmoDdeley Zen tour over the plains)-
When gaze around, don't you know, over these
boundless, rolling plains, stretching on every side
| to the horizon, without vestige of human babi-
tation, am positively filed with awe.
| Broncho BOb-Filled with ore, Ell? Well don't
let the boys ind 1t out, or they might stake Won
out Tor mineral elaim.-Munsey'sW Weekly,