The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-20
MR.. M'swATs ExPEF1MENr.
He Shows Lobelie How to Save None
While Adding to the Comforts of Life

While Adding to the Comforts of Life.
From the Chicago Tribune
Mr.. McSwat went home one afternoon q
few weeks ago with something wrapped up
in brown paper. He laid it on the kitchen
table, but kept bis hand on it as if it were a
mystery too momentous TO be unfolded
without taking precautions against inflict>
ing upon the sensitive nervous system of
Mrs. Nc Swat a sudden and unexpected
shock.
"Well, Billiger, what is itr'
Don't be in a hurry, Lobelia. All in
good time. | have made up my mind to try
little experiment. | eau hardly call it an
experiment, though. 1t is such an obvious,
practical thing that it's wonder to me it
hasn't been done for hundred years. 1 am
going TO show you, Lobelia, how to save
money and add to the comforts of lifen
Mr.. McSwat then proceeded with great
elaboration to open the package. He took
of the string, rolled it up into little coil
and gave it to Mrs. McSwat.
ITS good idea, Lobelia," he said. 'to
save every piece OF string that comes into
the house. You may need it some time"
She had bag full of similar coils laid
away somewhere, tangled into an inextrica-
BILE mass and running over at the top, and
had no use under the shining sun for an
OIuoE luCIl Va SbIluBa Dub oll6 10
take care of this particular wad Mean
while MIR. McSwat was slowly unrolling the
bundle. He brought to view at last beef's
tongue.
There it is, Lobelia," he exclaimed.
II don't see anything remarkable about
it. Billiger, except that it isn't smoked"
THAT'S just the point, madam" he re-
torted. "I've got tired of paying so cents
apiece for smoked tongues that look like a
section of a dried monkeys forearm and
taste as if they had been dug up out Of an
Indian mound. I'm to smoke my own beef
tongues hereafter
But how are you going to do iti We
haven't any smoke house."
Just you wait a minute and you'll see.
Bring me an iron poker"
Mrs. McSwat hunted up the desired I'M
plement and brought it to him.
snow observe"
He thrust the poker about half its length
through the slit in the end of the tongue.
Now come on, Lobelia."
He preceded her upstairs, opened back
window, stepped out on the kitchen roof,
and made his way up by lab orious climbing
to the comb. and thence along to the Chin
ney at the farther eud. Lifting himself
carefully up, he placed the poker across the
top OF the chimney, the beef tongue hang
ing down inside.
That's the scheme, Lobelia,7' he said,
clambering back to the window. "It'll
smoke the thing all right and save just 40
cents. Catch me buying smoked to CUES
any morep
"But there's no smoke coming up that
chimney, Billiger," said his wife. ave
burn hard coal. you know"
"I'l fix that. Well throw in a slab of
wood occasionally, and if that doesn't make
smoke enough we'll burn little soft coal.
They're both cheaper than hard COAL"
They went down stairs, aud for the next
twenty-four hours, or longer. in compliance
| with instructions from Billiger, Mrs. Nc
Swat and the amiable domestic, Ophelia,
piled the kitchen range literally with slabs
of wood and chunks of soft coal.
On the morning of the second day after
MIR. McSwat had put in operation his grand
scheme for adding to the comfort Of living
he climbed out 10 the chimney again, lifted
the tongue out and brought it down stairs.
mo discount on this job. Lobelia," he
said. holding it up. tits smoked till you
can't rest. Ever see finer-looking tongue
than thatW
Doesn't it look a good deal shrivelsd
Billiger" inquired Mrs. McSwat, obviously.
"A smoked tongue always looks shriv-
eled. All you need to do now is to scrape it
off nicely, peel off the skin ana COOK it,"
Mrs. McSwat pulled the tongue off the
poker, laid it down on the table, and it
broke in two.
1t was covered. with a thick deposit of
SCOT, was charred almost to the center, and
| from its steaming interior came a rich
! odor, in which several distinct kinds of
smoke were clearly perceptible.
at won't need any more cooking. Bill
ger" announced Mrs McSwat
In the center of the thickest portion there
was about an ounce and a half of flesh that
had escaped the general destruction in
which the rest of the tongue had been in
volved How Mrs McSwat carefully SEQ 9ped
this out, served it up for Bllliger's dinner
as tempting as the nature Of the case would
admit, and hung over him like an angel OF
mercy while he ate it--how Billiger Nc
Swat made mental computation as to the
saving he had effected in smoking his own
beef tongue, without counting two large
rents in the inner periphery of eact
| trousers leg caused by shingling nails or
the roof-how he reflected on the comforts
he had added to his life by his little ex
pertinent, lie is not the purpose Of Thu
chronicle to relate, but trustworthy in
formation received at this Office quite re
Gently is to the effect that Mr.. McSwat
buys his smoked tongues now and pays
without murmur whatever the monopolisi
| behind the counter chooses to ask him.