Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-03-28

recommendation ON Various subjects to
I:r sent 30 the Legislature

Slfsts may say right mere an now
d.; an passon who frizzles piece of
leat er on dat stove or so fur forgets
lis elf as to rise an alley winder TO see
If his dawg am waitin' down dar' is
gwine to be fined NOT less dan fo' thou
sand dollars Dar' am sartin things dis
club believes to be wrong an sarin other
things it believes to be right. an de peo-
pie of de State of Michigan hev deir eyes
on Us an expect us to do our dooty. We
will now listen to de report Of dc COM
mittee on capital punishment
THE REPORT.
Sir Johmsonbury Jones. chairman of
The above committee. reported as fo,-
lows:
Deg used to hang a pusson in dis
State if dey murdered anybody. Dey
den found out dat il ginnerally broke
his neck to hang him, an so dey dun
got sorry an repealed de law. Dis COM
mittee has gone slow an looked into de
matter very keerfully. Ii has diskivered
dat:
~1-Hanging murderer doan' bring
his victim back to life
"2-It doan' stop odder men from COM
mittin' murder.
~S-But de man who am hung doan'
git away to kill somebody else.
@4-Nor de State of Michigan doan'
hev 10 board and clothe him de rest OF
his life as reward.
while your committee doan' want to
hurt noliody's feelin's. it would mildly
an molestly exf ress its belief dat de day
has cum in MICHIGAN when two pussons
are murdered in cold blood for every
one sheep stolen, an dat it is time de
crime was male oner us If not odious.
A RECOMMEND
On motion of Waydown Bebee, the
report was accepted. aud then a vigorous
discussion took place as to what the club
should recommend to the legislature.
The following was finally decided on:
If arter murderer has had de benefit
of jury who can't read nor write,
good lawyer. fo' or five witnesses who
will swear to anything, de sympathy of
de public, de plea OF temporary insanity,
if he ar convicted arter all dis il would
be well to hang him. We recommend,
however, dat de rope be kivered wild
cloth an dat he be hung as softly as
possible an dat at least fo'teen hacks be
engaged fur de funeral procession.
AS TO DIVORCES
Judge Circum tance Lancaster, chair
man of the committee appointed to in-
quire into the cause aud effect of di-
vorces, and su ggest such changes as
deemed expe lient, reported as follows:
Your committee hev traced divorces
back to period ober 5000 vars ago.
De chief cause seems to be dat husband
an wife can't agree. Some folks think
dis fact is powerful queer, but we doan'.
If juries can't agree-if nations can't
agree-if churches, societies, ladies. am
clubs bust up bekase dey can't agree
if we differ in politics. religion. customs.
an habits. why should it be expected
dat husband am wife must agree? If
hev business partner wild whom can't
get along de courts gin me a way out,
but some folks make great hullabaloo
bekase de courts ar asked to separate
couple who make life miserable fur each
odder. We would recommend as fol-
lows:
II. No courtship of less'n three years.
-2. No lyin' on either side.
3 Ebery new married couple has got
to move right off by deirselves to Da-
kota.
Among the members of the club dis
cussing the motion to adopt the above
was Judge Comedown Carter, who said:
Il ar satisfied dat divorce orter be
made easy arter sartin condishuns are
fulfilIed-such condishuns as dat COM
mittee has jist reported. but wheneber a
wife gifts divorce it orter be de law dat
she leave at least $25 in cash in de house
fur de husband to git along wid until hs
kin strike a new job.
After some further discussion the re-
port was adopted.
FINANCIAL.
Professor Singletree White, chairman
of the committee ON finance, reported
as follows:
"Your committee has traced de use of
money back to 4, 900 Vars B. G.. an has
not been able to find dat de poo man
eber had any mo dan he has got to-day.
It ar our opinyun dat sunthin orter ter
be dun. Dis gwine around dead broke
isn't only hurtful to the feelin's but
VERY inconvenient We would darfore
recommend as follers:
Il Expand de currency untilde basket
slops ober.
- Coin 'nuff silver so dat ebery man
will hev to hev an extra hind pocket to
carry his share.
a3. Make days work six hours long
an de pay Sc, but doan' hev too many
of 'em in one week
"A Bring de price of whitewashin' up
at least 200 per cent. but knock de price
of meat an 'taters down TO the very
lowest notch.
~5 Fix it so dat cherry Guild pusson
in dis kentrs who wants to wear dia-
monds an ride in his kerridge kin do so.
but if ridin' around makes his back
ache, den fix it 50 he kin open a bank
an drink all de cham agne he wants
to-
Waydown Bebee, Shindig Watkins,
Wbalebone Howker, Giveadam Jones,
and others spoke very strongly on the
question of adopting the report but
Brother Gardiner arose ard said:
dat report " III be sot down on an
laid on de table Indefinitely. It's too
soon It asks fur too much If We
could hev all dose things asked fur in
dat report we'd consider ourselves so
clus to heaven dat nobody would turn
out to Thursday eVenin' prayer meetin's.
shall instruct de seckretary to say dat
- - y3s~rol..L 1nk IL .frns.l1.