Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-03-13
PlTH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
Everybody's business-To mind his
own.
short-sighted policy To procure
spectacles.
A burglarious invitation-Lct's take
something
In billiards scratch frequently fol-
Nlows kiss. Pitts6urg Dispatch.
81 never sleep on late supper" .sNor
I. use a bed. "-St. Joseph News
81 never get left," as tho office re-
marked when it started out to seek for O
man.
Ignorance is bliss when a woman is
homely and doesn't know it.-11oy
Press.
Bullets can whistle; but il takes
brave man to listen to them. ---Drake's
!dfagasiuo,
Fish are water drinkers as rule, but
the sharF Rever objects to taking nip.
-2atas'atings.
Mohamed made his mark in the world.
AS he couldn't write, there was nothing
else for him to do.
Fire is said to be good servant, but it
Is apt to go out nights oil the same
Bostop Commercial Bulletin.
Some men must think that the lamp of
life is spirit-lamp, Judging from the
way they pour in the alcohol.
The publisher and the humorist
Live on good terms, like men of sense,
Although the best jokes of the latter are made
Invariably at the formers expense.
Bobby-"P who was Lafayette2n
Papa-"Oh, he was the man they name
towns and streets after. n-Munsey's
Weekly.
Self conceit may be good thing to
have, but a man should try to be modest
about it and keep it to himself us much
as possible. True Reformer
Hope can make the point of needle
look as big as dinner plate; but when
we run against it we experience the sharp
ness.of disappointment.-Pucb.
The chance of man being struck by
q tornado is one in 30, 100000. And
tho chance of his recovery when struck
Is about the same.-St. Joseph Ne,os.
The Square piano has four legs, we know
The Grand, three TO its frame,
The Upright has no legs to show;
But it gets there just the same.
f Puck.
Wooden shoes should give the wearer
numbering gait, and cork sole ought
TO bring lightness to our footsteps. But
d man can't erase his tracks with the help
of rubbers.
= People who would grind everything
down to "a dead level in this world
should remember that it is the cogs on
the wheels that make clock-work run
smoothly. Puck.
stDid the plumber come down to in
aspect the pipes this morning2n sYes,"
tsWhat did he sayf"N ssHe said there
was nothing the matter, but he could
very soon remedy that. Ne York San.
When on the redskins foot the shoe
And not the moccasin Is worn,
first there's discomfort; squeezed Of toes;
Then comes the Indian corn.
Washigtom STAR
ssIf only you were in New York y
said Miss Flyppe to Cholly, Hyou would
be acentral figure in the four hundred. ~
: lIt was three days,-three blissful days
before it dawned on Cholly's mind that
the central figure in 400 is cipher
3 Indianapolis Journal.
This world is desert, its treasures but
And It's hardly worth while going through
Thinks the youth who is trying to raise e
moustache
>,And finds that he never can do It.
--CuDO God Ten.
Young Mooncalf--. "Do you know.
Miss Wosy, that---aw---that I've been
wefecting gweat deal recently, and
I've hawlf mind---I ives w---hawlf
Miss Rosy---ssNeve mind re-
;peating it, Mr.. Mooncalf; it's far above
the popular estimate, but I'll concede
you that much. ~ Boston Courier.
"sb -h-h, child Young people
should be silent when older people are
talking, said a fond mother to her hope
s ulwho was talking too much, to the an
noyance of several elderly persons.
I"Then when shall young people talk,
mammal Old people are never silent, y
was the reply of the cherub. - Teas Sitt-
I ings
The damage caused in Algiers by Che
last invasion Of locusts is stated to
amount to $50, 900 for the department,
91b0, 900 for that Of Oran, and 5000, 900
fpr Conetanfine SO D,