The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-02-18
DR.. cuNsAuLus,s NEcKrlE.
1t Came Near Making His Preacher
Railroad Pass of No Avail.

The Rev. DR.. F. w. Gunsaulus had
an interesting experience out in Ari-
zona last summer. 1t will bear mar
rating. 1t seems that friend in Lon
don, aware of the reverend gentle
mans fondness for vivid color, sent
DIR. Gunsaulus a bright red necktie.
There is no other red necktie in the
world quite as red as a British red
necktie; it is the consummation. the
apotheosis, of redness. When DIR.
Gunsaulus clapped his eyes on that
red necktie he was dazzled-nay, he
was stunned-by its terrific splendor.
As quickly as he could he put it away.
Il must not wear it." said he to him.
self. ut is too wicked for this part of
the world. l will reserve it for Ari-
zona."
1t is true that DIR. Gunsaulus had 165
acres of wheat out in Arizona that
needed looking after, but it is more
than likely that an ambition to wear
that new, splendid red necktie in
spired in DIR. Gunsaulus a ceaselesS
yearning to go west. At any rate ne
went, accompanied by his son, little
fellow of 10 or II years of age.
To such as have never seen DIR. Gun
saulus decked in that array which he
affects when inspecting wheat or hunt
ing rare bibliomaniac finds in Arizona
we will say that this costume is
strange to the degree of weirdness; its
most conspicuous feature is black
| felt hat with an enormous flexible
brim. An especial flavor of spice-of
wickedness, if you please-was given
to this costume by the superb red
necktie. To be candid. DIR. Gunsaulus.
attired for Arizona, looked very like
one of those far western characters of
which Bret Harte loves to treat.
Now it happened that DR.. Gunsaulus
travelled on free pass-a free pass
obtained through the kindly offices of
one of the influential lambs of his
flock. This free pass was made con-
tinuous all the way from Chicago to
Arizona and back again. 1t fell clear
ly within the lines of the Interstate
commerce act, for it was made out to
the account of (and was to be paid in)
advertising.
This free pass worked all right un-
til DIR. Gunsaulus struck the Santa Fe
country. 1t was then that a coarse,
unfeeling. one-eyed conductor came
through the train collecting tickets at.
the point of murderous-looking horse
pistol. He had been sheriff of a county
in New Mexico, and was Thing of
Blood.
..Ticketsr' demanded this fierce
monster.
DR.. Gunsaulus mildly produced his
free pass. The conductor read the
free pass. The unhallowed fire of
skepticism illumined his cyclopean
optic.
Watts yer nameP" asked the con-
ductor.
'tThe Rev. F. w. Gunsaulus," an
swered the holy man.
The conductor took as rapid view
of DR.. Gunsaulus as his one eye would
admit of.
mo, yer don'ty' exclaimed the con-
ductor. brutally. Yer don't play
that game on me! Yer no preacher ''
Indeed 1 am, and a very good
preacher, too," demonstrated DR.. Gun
saulus.
Come, now," said the conductor,
. ''it's no use of yer tryin' to come any
monkey business with me; reckon |
know a dominic when see him.
Yer'll have to put up yer good money
or get off the trainr'
There seemed to be no alternative
DR.. Gunsaulus looked out of the car
window; it would never do for him to
be set down in that desert of cactuses
and prairie dogs. He sought to reason
with the conductor; every gift, every
power every artitice of eloquence at
his command he brought to bear upon
the callous creature, but all in vain.
In vain also did the reverend gentle
mans little boy plaintively but stoutly
maintain that ''papa was Minister
the unregenerate heart of that conduc-
tor was not to be moved.
No dominy ever wore a necktie
, like that" said the conductor. ''Yer'll
, have to put up the stuff or git off'n the
, train"
/ DR.. Gunsaulus did put up. but not
until he had secured receipt therefor
from the one-eyed skeptic. The next
three hours were hours of misery. for
, not even so long-sufering and so
! patient clergyman as Dr.. Gunsaulus
, cares to be separated from his worldly
, possessions by the unfeeling agent of a
soulless railway corporation. But
about hundred miles further down
the road the mayor of Santa Fe board
{ ed the train, and he was happily able
to identify DR.. Gunsaulus as being in
| deed entitled to all the perquisites and
courtesies involved in and entailed by
that free pass. So the one-eyed con-
ductor disgorged the money and made
| an apology as best he could.
I've been livin' out here now for
goin' on twenty-three years." said he.
| land I've seen every kind of human
, bein', from bonanza kings down to
three-card monte sharks, but never
seen preacher with red necktie
afore! Say, pardner. yer daisy, I'll
| bet! Although it's agin the rules, ]
don't mind lookin' at yer if yer've got
yer bottle handyr'-C Chicago Neaos.