Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-12-31
PirH AND POINT.


Asking questions of a public speak
er Is good deal like standing ON a
track TO scare loeomotive.-Columb
Post
Man is q good deal like FISH. You
know the fish would never get In very
serious trouble If 1t kept its mouth
shut-Yonkers Statesman.
No matter how clearly the seafar-
ing man may be while on the ocean, he
has a strong antipathy to being washed
STANDARDIZATION Transcript.
1t is natural for fellow who has in
four horns of whisky to think he is
bright because he tumbles to things so
easily. Republican.
We have noticed that the cheaper
the trousers q young man has on the
more fur he puts on the collar and cuffs
of his overcoat.-Atchison Globe.
He is mighty meek man that can
patiently hold the baby while his wife
puts in a couple of hours at the piano
learning the latest lullaby.-Indian-
apolis journal.
-Bunting-'What a hunted look
young Hunker carries" Larkin-"Yes.
but he needn't wear it now the chase is
over. Miss Elder caught him and mar
ried him last week."-N. Y. Sun.
The Humane Girl-George-sE
you must marry me or put me out of
my misery" Ethel-"Must / choose?"
George-"You must" Ethel with a
sigh)-"Well. where is the ax?"-N. Y.
Herald.
The Retort Courteous Beauty is
only skin deep" remarked Mrs. Angu-
laire to her husband. Ugh" he
growled, land it's mighty thin skin on
some people 1 know."-Detroit Free
Press.
-Prevarication Excused.-Grace-
"Maud says she was born in 1872. :"
Ethel-''Wel1, she never could remem-
Der dates at school, and, of course, her
memory gets worse as she grows older"
Epoch.
What do you think of Miss Blank
as an actress?" ''Well, her carriage is
bad "That'so. And it's fault that
is hard to remedy" "Oh, I don't know.
She might get coached for it.''-Phila
delphia Press.
~ am afraid you are a rascal of the
first water" said the police judge. ''Of
Inc uISU WdIcT, en-. TeSpOuuc1t tue CuI-
prit. SIT follows, then, that if 1 do
not clear myself, my name is mud"
Indianapolis Journal.
-Enpec-"I must have been drunk
when 1 came home last night" Mrs.
Enpeck-''What makes you think sop
Enpeck-''The last remember, had
no notion of coming home. Smith,
Gray & Co. s Monthly.
-Travers (sighing)-'1 must get me
a new overcoat." Miss Summit-'Why,
that one looks as good as new. Have
you had it long?" Travers-''Well.
should say so. Why, just paid for it."
-Clothier and Furnisher.
Have a good time at the cotillon
last night, Chapter NO I got
beastly bit of mud on my shoes, and
they were on my mind all the EVENING""
$50? Well, you shouldn't carry your
brains in your feet.''-Harper's Bazaar.
-Mattie-''I never saw such a man as
Harry is. He will sit with me for hours
of an evening without word passing
between u.s." Aunt Hannah-"Is it
possible that you can sit so close to-
gether as that, and for hours?''-Boston
Transcript.
Marie" he cried, passionately, as
he threw himself at the feet of the rich
widow, will you be my wife?" Yes.
john" she murmured, putting her arm
about his neck; sit means the sacrifice
of my fortune, for my income from my
late hus bands estate ceases at my sec
ond marriage-but my love for you is
SUCH ''Marie, can not accept the
sacrifice. It is too much. I will be a
brother to YOU"