The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-15

charming socially. who are college bred, tut
these are excepJloas. These are the two
and three out of three AMI four hundred.
Somebody argues, DO make the bread
any worse for knowing the laws Of
chemistryf' Probably not, but do
you make it any better! Then
somebody says, ''Shall I become nothing
but cook and a drudgep Just as you
fancy. A good cook is usually queen Of her
dominion and not drudge by any manner
OF means, and a good wife, such as you
want your son and mine to get, is the
woman who, when he is sick, knows how 70
make little daintieS to help cure him, knows
how to measure his medicines properly, and
isn't exploiting her chemistry on the doctor
while the man whose name she bears is
waiting for his next dose of medicine.
"But." says the obiector, "can you cookF'
To be quite honest, I can only do two or
three things well.
1 CAN RRoIL A BEEFSrEAK.
and that's more than half the restaurants in
the various big cities know how TO do, and
l can boil a potato and know when it is
done. and no establishment is going to
starve where they can get these two things
well cooked. In a sick-room I can mind
the DOCTORS orders, and when you can get
professional nurse to do that you have
got jewel. 1 hope / will not make the
envlous OF my accomplishments, but when
they yell, LET us have more culture"
feel like making the welkin ring (by-the-by,
what is the welkinD by answering them
with Let US have more broiled beefSteaks
and boiled potatoes"
wAAT MEN WANT IN A WIFE.
Culture is very we'll for the well-fed
man who can go to sleep over it, but
hungry man does not want Browning and
Euclid, the Latin grammar and the Greek
testament, he wants beef and potatoes.
Heresyl OF the rankest, but since we have
beaten the force bill, feel that can ex-
press myself with truth and dlstinctneSs.
It's true that l do believe that woman
with the heart" gets far away the better of
man with the head" and using
Mr.. Tennyson's quotations as
| text, the average yonng woman
is advised to cultivate a cool head and a
warm heart. Her heart may be hit now and
then, but it won't be broken. Hearts are
curiously elastic things. They can be pulled
here and there, rent with anguish, so to say,
and then something delightful will come
that will prove an absolute ointment, and
behold they are in better condition than
ever before. Give me red roses ana heart
girls II the average young man will put
that on the banner which he bears he will
get a wife who will love him and whom be
VIII honor and obey without ever knowing
he does it.
THE LATEST IS THE OLD.
What is there new? Nothing.
The idiotlc dude still imbibes nourish-
ment from his cane, looks from over the top
Of his collar as if he had white wall about
him.
The so-called swell young woman still
displays her anatomy to the world at large,
doesn't get married. and wonders that Tom,
Dick and Harry don't want to see more of
her.
The matchmaking mamma guards her
little chickens very carefully SO that no
lneligibles will come near them and the
result is that as the years go by they are
seeking whom they may devour and find
none
The average business woman is wonder
ing how the financial affairs of the world
went on before she was born.
The newspaper writer is surprised that
more people don't recognize him or her
when seen on the street.
And the babies, God bless them! are the
things nearest to angels left to us. Though,
by-the-by, if the sterk hasn't brought a
baby down your chimney fox-terrier isn't
such had thing to possess-at least. that
is the experience of Bah.