The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1891-01-10
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.


Elder Sistsr-~Why don't you inn
prove your mind. Belle. instead of con-
tinualiy dawdling about the house?-
Belle-"What's the use? I'm engaged
--Ethel-"Poor Clare! She is growing.
old" Maud sit must seem sad to you,
seeing you have known her since sbcH
was an infant in arms. IN. Y. Herald
-"One Of the papers gives list OF
gems for the months" II saw that 1t
wasn't accurate. 1t didn't mention coal
once all through the winter months. -
Harper's Bazaar.
"A Canadian doctor has just been tes-
tifying that . murdered mans heart
stopped right in the middle of beat"
That's nothing; policemen often do the
same thing.-Utica Herald
-"You have parted from Miss Win
Ris forever" "Yea I was always
afraid her brother would cause our sop
aration. and he did" II didn't know
she had brother" But she has. I'm
her brother" -Philsdelpbi Press
"A mother always feels compli-
mented when you tell her how much she
looks like her daughter, but the man
who thinks to please the daughter by
telling her how much she looks like her
mother is fool. -Somerville Journal.
Willing to Learn: George Ito deb
utante sister, = 'sI'm almost sorry to
see you 60 into society, Edith; you are
like rosebud-so pure, so innocent
Edith-'sNever mind. George, can
learn. Puck.
An Autumn Incident: DR.. A. to DR.
R-"Nice trick you have played me-
during my vacation. Here turned over
to you q lot of patients have had for
years, and you have cured them all up
in month. Courier des Etats- Unis.
"A man will abuse the loafers him
self, but when he has an idle day and
busy friend, did anyone ever know him
to respect the time OF his busy friend so
much that he did not 60 around TO his
place and loaf with him?-Atchison
Globe.
Caution: Little Boy lin crowded
street car. to pretty little girD-"I'lf
give yon my seat il you'll take il" Lit
tie Girl (whispering)-'I'm ever SC
much obliged, but yon shouldn't offer
your seat until you are ready to get ofis
cause people will think you're from the
country. GOOD News
He (about to take to his departure)
Where did leave my hat? Why
your pug is playing with it in the cor
ner. What--no-yes-he torn the lin
ing out?' She-sO. isn't he cunning?
Stay little while longer and we'll
watch him play with it Isn't he anus
ing?"
IL should think. Mr.. Owelots, that
| you would be afraid to marry me. am
SO old and have so much money that
people might misjudge your motive"
my sweet Angelina. / love you SO, that
1 would willingly marry you though you
were three times as old and had twice
Is much money. y Boston Times.
| Mate ION ocean steamer, rushing
| into cabin Captain, vessel has been
sighted of to the southeast displaying
| signals Of distress Shall we change our
course to help them?" why. man. are
you crazy? Certainly not Have you
forgotten that we stand chance Of
beating the record on this trip?-Bos-
i ton Herald.
No Help Wanted. -Visitor-sI say,
old boy, you are the most absurdly in
fatuated husband ever saw in my life,
considering how long you've been mar
ried. You praise every dish your wife
makes and yet her cooking is abomina-
ble." Host-s'Sh. Don't speak 20 loud.
| know her cooking is bad; but II say
word she Rets discouraged and sends
for her mother. IN Y. Weekly.