Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-01-15

"Never! Where is she?"
81 don't know her, my dear.
you should not speak TO persons
whom you don't know. Horatio,
heard you say Arabella, as l entered,
and want you to explain"
"Certainiy, my dear; 10. you see
was reading aloud from the paper and
read her name.
Mrs Hornbill thrust the paper in her
husbands hands as she said: "Show
me the name of Arabella in that paper
if you can"
Mr.. Hornbill took the paper with
trembling hands and looked mp one col
ump and down another as he remarked:
81 don't remember whether it was in
the market reports or Congressional
proceedings.
perhaps it was slipping item. :"
suggested his wife.
Eyes, very likely" he said
's0r perhaps it was a-a-lie," she
said, as she burst into tears.
He tried to soothe her and to explain
that it was only joke, and that he said
it was in the paper just to satisfy her.
Forgive me. Hannah" he said. at
was my first fib You only imagined
that you heard me say Arabella."
"Then leave me to compose my
nerves, F" she answered And he had no
sooner left the room than she brought
her mysterious letter to the light and
saw that it was written by her brother,
who said he had a surprise for Horatio
in the shape of new dress-coat which,
to quote his words, lis a much better
present than tin wash boiler" Mrs.
Hornbill's reflections were interrupted
by the door bell and the arrival of the
tailor's boy with the coat referred TO.
She could not resist the temptation to
open the package and take a look at il,
though John had said not to open it,
and to keep it a secret until the next
evening; and so great was her delight
at the sight of it that in a moment of
playful thought she put it on and
walked about the room. But her fun
was brief, for She heard her husband
coming, and just as he entered one door
she went out of the other and, leaving
the coat in the hall, returned to the
sitting-room
"Where has he gomez" asked Mr..
Hornbill
"Who9' she said.
'slnat man.
"What man? There was no man here. "
but | saw him go out OF the door,"
"Ohl that?"
Eyes, thati"
'Oh, IL was the postman who had lost
a letter and thought he might have left
1t here"
Mrs Hornbill, when did the post
men change their uniform"
WHAT" she asked.
when did the Government Of the
United States OF America prescribe
swallow-tail coats for postmen?"
"Horatio, it is all mistake, for there
was no one, and only said that to sat
isfy you, I'll believed you about Ara
bella"
81 say there was no Arabella!"
And | say there was no man; so we
must believe each other. IL is now so
late we will let the curtains go. and, as
am going upstairs, You can lock up the
house"
Mr.. Hornbill was not satisfied about
The man, and Mrs. Hornbill was not sat
isfied about Arabella; and while he was
looking about the room she was listen
ing outside of the door. Then for
moment be forgot about the man. as
the play the had to be committed TO
memory came to his mind; and be sat
by the candle to read 10, Now, Mr..
Hornbill hadn't much Imagination, and
he felt that he could do much better If
he only had Arabella to practice with;
but as that was out Of the question. he
did the next best thing to aid his imag-
nation by building a dummy woman
out OF an umbrella, shawls, wraps, a
bonnet and pair OF his shoes, and
seating her in chair. Then, with the
manuscript in his hand. he said: Now,
Arabella, we can have a comfortable
time"
Mrs. Hornbill heard the words and
Mr.. Hornblll saw the door opening, and
with one breath he extinguished the
light and left the room in darkness as
he hid behind the table.
'Horatio where are you, and what
does this moan?" she asked. but no an
swer came. Mr.. Hornbill heard his wife
feeling her way toward the table, and
with presence Of mind that showed
genius he poured glass Of water into
the matchbox.
Mrs. Hornbill felt about the table
until she had the matchbox, and then
proceeded to scratch each match with
out any Of them lighting. She then
thought of her husbands vest, and
while on her way TO it be crept noise
lessly into the hallway; and she, find
ing the vest hanging on a chair. tried
t. light a numberof toothpicks that she
found in the pocket before learning of
her mistake; then, trying another
pocket, she found some matches and
lighted the candle.
AS she looked aboutthe room and saw
the dummy she gave a scream and ex-
claimed: Horrors! you impudent
thing, what are you doing here? Speak,
you Ara bellal" And as her husband
entered with the dress-coat on his arm
sho turned to him and continued: