The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-15
aorHAM's LUN H HOUSES.
Miss McGowan's Hncounter with {
Edibles,

Miss McGowan's Encounter with the
Edibles.
NEW YORK, March Alt was poor old
Mr.. Macbeth that exclaimed, after he had
killed large and varied assortment of in
nocent persons, and set OF numerous other
deeds of bloody violence, 81 have supped
full of horrorsw
Well-without wishing to infringe upon
the old gentleman or have his heirs and as
signs bowling around about the interna-
tional copyright business-so have l.
And am bound to think, too, with all
due Difference to Macs abilities and energy,
that either have supped fuller or my hor-
rors were more awful than his, or he'd
never ave left the sleep walking business
to Mrs. Mac.
LUNCHING.
thought it would be bright thing to go
aud eat lunches around at snuff Choking
places, where cards are all aoout saying So
and-so only 10 cents, etc., and such-and-
such only 20 cents; and to only eat the
''only" dishes, thus getting real. sure
enough, practic ] working idea how impe-
cunious people and persons on meager sala-
ries fare.
Yes Well, you'd be slow to believe it.
but stuck to this thing three days. II it
hadn't been so bad | should have given it
up after the first trial; but it was SO unex-
pectedly dreadful that it became serious;
and aroused the earnest enthusiasm Of fight.
The "what man dare | daren spIri- entered
into me, and ordered oyster pie ''only Is
cents" macintosh or macrame or mara
bout steak, with mushrooms, ''only 20
CENTS" country sausages (which | after
ward decided bal left the country for the
country's good "only 10 cents" etc.
The tea was always alleged tea, and very
awful indeed, having mingled suggestion
of all the camomile, sassafras and catnip
decoctions Of my infant years, with the
pervading tlandness. of dish water to soften
and render it palatable. OF tine cocoa and
chocolate l was afraid. They sat and
looked at me, after | had ordered them,
until weakened d went away. If all
the things could be III the tea that seemed
to be there, what villainy might not lie
perdu under that opaque mulatto counten-
ance, what crime, madness, and death
might not Turk in those mysterious aud
unbelievable depths9 The oyster that
was the wicked genius of that
oyster piel He sat on top, surrounded by
pale, startled gravy (below deck were thing s
unspeakable). o he was toughl he was dis
solute, incorrigible, invulnerable He was
not to be penetrated by kindness, nor by any
OF the weapons usually furnished. ielG IL
an injury to my moral nature ever to have
known him; and / presently asked the
waiter timidly TO take him away, and bring
me one Of hose enormous wedges of o imp
kin pie. ''only 10c." Il never eat pie. but
its the mai est dish with the folks was in
vestigating, so pie it must BEL
The record is a humiliating one to me-
The tea l really disposed of; between me
and the country ,ausage it was draw; also
with the macadam steak and fireproof
mushrooms it was about an even thing.
The disreputable and depraved oyster loaf
ing the hurricane deck Of the pier named
after him routed me after desperate strug-
gle. The cocoa aud chocol tie stood me off /,
slew me in by the look Ike cocatices; and
before the size aud solid determination of
those vat wedges OF pie simply melted
away and drifted out into the street.
THE LoRDLY WAITER
But. If you will believe me, it was none
Of these, neit. er the things ate nor those
couldn't eat, that humblsd my proud heart
and broke and trampled upon my free
spirit. IL was the harshDess Of the walters
l bad bee used to the reserve and indiffer-
! ence of walters at swell hotels, to tue hau-