Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1891-11-28
BOWSER,S LATEST STkEAK.

The Condition " His Wearing Apparel
Engages His A,,+u,iou.
All husbands are ">treaky." They
will run along ali right Tor = week OF
two, AS good as pie, aud then all Of u
sudden, and with no valid excuse
they will break out in the mos
surprising manner, says tn. New YorI
World. Wh-n Mr.. Bowser left tn.
house after lunch the other day. NJ
WAS i" great good humor and stopped
to say:
II think I'll stop and get tickets
for the theater tossing hi, and we'll pu,
IN an enj yable evening""
WHEN he returned ~ + he assembled
the steps with a scuh! scuf! scuh
unlocked the front door, gave it u
kick, aud made Ills way into the back
parl"r to growl:
"aIrs. Bowser. do you pretend to
run this house on system?"
~ by, what is wrong, dear?" she
qusried in rel y.
There's lots of things wrong.
had scarcely left the Office when this
ov-rcoat button came ID. ! laid this
coat Oft the fifth OF last Nav, aud
you've rad five months to secure that
Tut on"
but l diin's know it was loose
Why diAn't you tell me?"
"Why haven. l told you ten thou.
sand other things that ought to BE-
done? There arc wives who glance
NJ their husbands clothing once o,
twice year aud discover what re-
pairs arc needed. want a darninx
needle ~ d u piece of string"
"l,ut III sew the button on"
"Nc; III do it myself. | dom
want to take up your valuable time.
And despite Mrs. Bows-r's en-.
treaties and protestations he threaded
the needle with piece CT string AN,
sat down ami s~wed on the hutton
tie got it an inch out Of line with tn.
butt"n-hol-, of course, n, d, Of course
il wouldn't have stayed five minute,
in any event, but he had carried b,.
point.
MENDING HIS sUsrENDERs.
When he had LAID the coat aside
he asked:
"Hsve we got a bradawl and .
piece Of wsxed,end in the house,"
IL don't think SO. What do YOU
want Of thcm?"
ITO mend my suspender, Of course
| hadn't got a hundred feet from tue
house thi. noon when it busted on me,
rs usual. If THERE'S another house il
the United >tates run like this one,
I'd like to hear Of It aud 60 and 81,
down Oh the doorst- p for hal, All hour.
Perhaps ! can repair it with n piece
Of clothesIi"e until l can get down
tow" again"
"But you can's blame me, Mr..
BOwser!" she said.
"Oh, Of course not; you are not to
blame tor anythingw
"But how did ] know your sus.
pender WAS r. ady to hreak?"
"Tha,'s all right, Mrs. Bowser! III
get a piece Of clothesline or bsrhed
wire aid make repairs and you
needn't worry at all. There are wives
and wives!"
"Are We going to the theater?" she
asked, rs he began pacing up and
down the room with his hands under
his coat tails.
"Wha,Y" he shouted in a voice
which jumped the cat out Of the
room.
"Are We going 10 the theat-r?"
"Theater! Thea,er! Have you
gone crazy? Mrs. Bowser, look ~
there! and then talk th-atre to me-"
lie uniac~d one Of his shoes and
kicked i, oil, aud there, Mt the end OF
his big toe, was . hole about ~ big
AS nickel.
81 WAS intending to GO to the
theatre" he said, Ms he stood aud
pointea at the hole; "but l can't get
away this evening. have got to
stay home aud darn my socks. Tina,
hole there has started q corn on my
toe this very day."
mir. Buwser, those socks were
hrandne~ yesterday morning when
YOU put them ont" exclaimed Mrs
Bowser. with a good deal Of energy
"Oh. of course! | probably cut
that hole with the shears! want a
dArning- needl. and some string or
something. As long as I've 60, to
take care OF my clothes through the
rest Of nv life, | might as we'll b-gin
to night"
MORE UNNECESSARY REPAIRS.