The morning call., 1891-01-25

roughly and, carving down into the dense
woods, bumped him urgently against the
| uneven bark OF a red oak tree, The sophie
! more, upon gaining his liberty, caught up
his Derby hat ana vanished.
Recently some of the more liberal minded
men of the community decided that the
youths and maiGens of the land must be ed
ucated, and knowing that their laudable OBJ
ject could not be accomplished by the EN-
p.oymentot male eacherS. decided TO engage
a woman. Miss Flora Hightower, an old
mart Of friSky shynesS and hemp-Eke hair,
was engaged. She was so fral IN structure
and so innocent Of expression that the
anxious fathers ana mothers knew that their
boys, rough but manly, would not turn her
out OF the house, and moreover would rally
in her defense should the girls scarcely less
rough than the BOYS, attempt to lead her off
into the woods and carry her through that
classic rural pastlme of humping. Among
! the students" were two boys } ohn and ALT
| Griggiehorn, sons of old Pete Grigglehorn,
! the man who, some time ago. swUre on a
| wager that he could butt well-known goat
| of the county bridge. When the surgeons
| had trepanned his head with piece of sheet
! iron, he remarked that he had ever been
open 10 conviction ana that his estimate of
that goat had been revised
Shortly after the school was opened the
GrigglehOrn boys fell in love with the
teacher. They were so devoted aud so
jealous that one would not permit the other
10 see her alone and at evening when she
they marched along with her, each bent
upon choking oil what the other attempted
10 say. One evening, when they had been
walking Tor some time in silence, Alt re-
marked:
- Miss Flora, wanter say that | love you
strong enough to move saw log The
truth is, have seed a guOd deal of calico in
my life, bat that you air about the stunniest
lot Of goods l ever seed. An now / wauter
say suthin that | kant git a chance to say
in 70 hat I Ia lin mi ia
here school an marry me. l don't ktre
snap about edyeation so long as kin git
yon. Hear me?"
"DUn't pay no attention TO him, Miss
Flora" John spoke Up before she had time
10 reply. He's allus saving SuthiE' that he
dom mean. 1t has been my aim ever sense
| fust seed yOu to marry you an eff you
know which SIDE yo' bread is buttered on
you Will let him slide an take NE, for | am
a honey from way IN the creek, while he is
slouch from the frog poni."
on, Miss Flora g,ggIed, chow happy
could L be with either; were pOlher dear
charmer away"
you bet Pm charmer." said All. "Pm
charlner enough to make you better hus-
band tran this knock kneed thing that is
walkin along with us"
That's ali right" John rejoiued, ''but
when IL comes to charmiu' Pm thar.
"On, boys, really don't know which of
you to take. 1 had thought that should
never be married. had read so much of
the unhappiness of the matrimonial state
that | was determined 10 live on in single
contentment but ah, my dears, you have
completely upset me-"
But which one of us has upset you the
mOstY ALI demanded.
Really. my dear. cannot say"
Don't you sorier think L haYe?" John
asked.
ION, my dear. you must not ask me such
question. Both of you make my heart
gusi with JOY, and yet each of you makes
me sad--ah, sad, for | cannot marry but one
OF you ana do not know which one to ac-
cept."
This recital, with but slight variation,
was gone through with day after day. Old