Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-05-01
A POWERFUL APPEAL

lntendent or the Portland Industrial
Exposition, and he has already begun
to work upa big interest in the eXhi-
bition for next September. He has
friends by the hundred among the
press persuaders of the Pacific North
west, and he has sent out the follow
ing letter with permission to print it
this morning. 1t is not only good
reading but means business. Under
date of Portland, spring of 1891, he
addresses his friends of the secular
press, religious journals and country
newspapers" in the following terms,
| to-wit:
Brave Moulders Of Public Opinion
You will admit that aside from night
mares, haven't troubled you frequently.
| AS this Is really the first time IL has been
done Intentionally, | will not pause for
any back talk, but go right ahead l
need you, Oh so much | need you every
hour for quite a spell. As the supern
| tendent OF the Portland Industrial Expo
sition for 1891, need you. Occupying the
position OF the party who wilt catch all
the blame-if- things don't right, | ask
you to stand by me, close. Should you
ever get into like trouble, | will do the
standing and see that you do not miss
anything within reach or reason, if it is
good for you to have 1t. Without your
powerful aid and shrewd connivance, the
hasp might as well hang limp on the main
door and do nothing but gather rust the
livelong day.
We are to have great exposition IN
September. 1t will begin to draw about
twilight on Thursday the 18th. want
you all to come and examine its inside on
Monday the 2lst. 1t will not be picnic,
leaving timothy or June grass brands on
your pants. 1t will be a festive holocaust,
as near as can get it. From the 18th TO
the 2lst, it will require all our time TO ac-
commodate, and then get rid of the
crowds who are sure to wedge their way
in the first day. After they decide that it
Is the grandest exposition ever vouch-
safed to mortal man or beautiful woman
on the Pacific coast, | ask you to come
and see how much truth and other rare
| allowed, in the exposition this year
that would knowingly offend the
most fastidious taste. Even the lem
onade man will be under bonds. Every
| thing he concoctS will be prObed to the
bottom. Still, this is big city, full of
opportunities for young men, and pitfalls
for the unwary; but, further than to ad-
wise never to drink on an empty stomach,
| or on tick, | shall not interfere. You can
be a free will Baptist or frghtful exam
pie Tor all | Wot, so TO speak.
You will be admitted to the Exposition
with all the honor due your highly
perched position, especially If I'm good
condition and chaperoned by your wife
or some responsible member Of your
family; otherwise you can bring your
best girl as a deTnier resort, If she
would like to come that way. In case
either or neyther be unable to attend,
your lonely presence will excite enough
sympathy to make a written excuse I'M
necessary. She can come later and find
out why you staid so long from those you
5 love.
The object of the Press Day is to make
you acquainted with the exposition, give
: you square meal and something to til
up on. II will also enable you to write
letters to your paper which will make its
: pages glow with hectic flush. III your
d early education in journalism has been
:, neglected by reason OF your not being a
y college graduate, can give you several
# pointers; or should You prefer settlers or
y, terriers, think can spare several styles
u from the neighborhood. They are all
5. beautifully marked, and where nature
% has forgotten TO attend to 1t, | have tried
to supply the deficiency myself. As the
W work was done al odd hours after dark,
% may have missed the mark occasionally
The different, numerous and conflicting
5 railroads having their termini on the
l. second floor Of Couch lake will vie with
l. stock and buffet cars for your accommo-
e datOn. Trains will stop for you about q
II hundred yards the further side of the
u water tank nearest your office. A good
2, way to get out OF town is this. You sue
~. someone residing in the Durieus for con-
tempt of court aud damages in not read
+ ing the legal notices in your widely circu-
q lated journal. While the sheriff Is serv
ing the warrant you escape, leaving q
: note on the top OF the stove to the effect
d that YOU have gone TO Portland to pur-
. chase new plant | have some reaI
IL thrifty Canadian thistles in our back
yard; when you return you can have a
n couple of shoots which you can show 10
- him as new style OF prickly pear. Thi.
}. Will keep your reputation for truth and
o. come back to- face the music fresh and
Q sweet.
l. II your ear was built for music; II you
a have a soul for art, an eye or two for the
=. beautiful, or any taste Tor enjoyment this
u side of the grave, come. Fully realizing
a that there was nothing too good for you
,, ! went all the way to Mexico to secure
y the greatest band on the Pan American
y continent. | got it. These Mexican.
n come high, but we must have 'em, this
year. They are the greatest in the land
u When you come, close your eyes, get The
j. tympanum of your ear In good shape, and
. you will think you had wandered into
u heaven blind.
l. Then the art gallery; | will have moth
ing to do with II, but 1t will be there al
the same. IL you have any fault to find
with the nudes, don't. Go to the art com
mittee and find IL with them. They are
the losers. The gallery will open your
Is eyes. You will see pictures there worth
s1i2. 20 a square inch, aud so true 10 life
IL that the only thing about them not borr
" to die is the name Of the painter. There
will be only few nudes. and they won't
IL be very nude-just nude enough to catch
It your furtive glance, but nothing like la
- grippe or hives. That is the naked truth
~ $40 the pure all things are pure, except
Oleomargarine," is not yet out OF date
10 know how you feel about nudes. A crud,
nude is really rude, but hen the nude Is
q ideal, mean, gotten up in good shape, II
l. Is the best poetry on the market. DOM
:, yon know that the ladies of today are
u mostly overdressed? 1t is a fact which
they won't fully grasp until they get &c
=, heaven, where they cant get clothes. My
y graciousl what gawky angels some Of
lie them will be up there. Clear your MIND
4 and think OF IL little while. How.
u ever, after You have spent an hour anC
a ten cents In the art gallery and recov-
20 cred your umbrella, | want you to &c
. around with policeman among the
L. thousands OF exhibits. These will
le consist OF everything from a dissatisfied
and nomadic tidy to ciuch rug cinch
and back again to a performing thresh.
ing machine which Ch3lcS the hired men
"A so they can't talk responsive sass Wher
- you get through, IL you don't say you are