Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-03-26
Cured of a Bad Habit.

Il am reminded of the eccentricities of
a commander Of our naval service, re-
marked veteran of the wave "The of
| fcer In question had the suavest way of
J furnishing a man for breaches of discip.
| line that it was possible to conceive. re-
member one incident in particular. There
was a standing order against splitting on
the deck, and Commander Smith, Sthat's
not his real name, but it will do as we'll
was very strict in his enforcement. Sand
buckets were placed about the lower decks,
so that there could be no excuse One day
in the forenoon.watch, Smith, who had an
| eye like hawk, detected one unlucky tar
expect0rate about a teacupful of tobacco
juice on the spotless deck and then hur-
riedly tried to swab it up. Come here
my man; didn't see you spit on the
deck? Yes, sir, but forgot for the mo-
ment, sir, that 1t was against rules. |
| am very absent-minded, sir. oh, you
forgot, Ell? Well, now, | am sorry for
that. And you are tronbled with alb
sence of mind. too? That's unfortunate.
| Well, now, it's no use sending
for the surgeon; physicians can't minister
to d mind diseased, you know. Still,
something must be done. Let me see.
All, have it. Send the ships corporal
here. Now, corporal, on that functionary
appearance, 'get7one of those sand buckets
and hang it round the mans neck, and
you, my poor fellow, just keep an eye on
the watch, and when any one wants to
| spit, run and shove your bucket under his
nose. The novel made of punishment
was noised through the ship and caused no
end of fun. Every minute or SO som one
would call for the perembulating cuspi-
dore, and it is surprising the amount of
tobacco juice expectJrated that morning.
At the end of the watch he was told he
could unsling his bucket Now, my man,
is your absence of mind any BETTER?
| queried our commander. Yes, if you
please, sir 'Ah, thought so. Now
you will have to be very careful of your
self that no relapse occurs. The health of
my crew is always the first consideration
with me.
| She Will Come.
A lady went out one afternoon leaving
her little boy at his grandma s and saying
she would call for him when she returned
home, which she expected would be by six
o'clock. The time passed away until 1t
Was nearly six and his grandma said per-
haps his mother was not coming for him
that night.
Eyes she will" replied the boy. 81
am quite sure of it.
Six o'clock came, and grandma said:
"Well, | guess your mother will not
come for you tonight"
81 know she will, " said the boy con-
| fdentaly; and he watched patiently for
her. it was getting pretty near his bed
time, and grandma was pretty sure his
mother would not come and he would stay
all night with her.
"WelI, know she will come was his
still confident reply.
why, what makes you so positive?"
asked his grandmother.
Because" said the boy, "she said if
she was not here at six o'clock she should
certainl come, and my mother never told
me a lie"
His confidence in his mother was not
misplaced, for in few minutes she came
and took him home.
What lesson for mothers in the faith
of this child! and what lesson for doubt
ing Christians to whom the Lord seems
''s!ack concerning his promises! ''He
will come again Our Savior never
told us a lie