San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-07-23

my own mistress and matrOn in Israel
Now l saw why my mother wished me
to be disconnected with the present state
of affairs. Now / saw how | could OBJ
tain such foothold as would give me
the right to defy criticism. Yet gave
the subject every consideration. At one
time l nearly put the idea quite away
from me aud decided. inaccordance with
some romantic notions had in my head,
to wait until l really fell in love, no
matter what might happen in the mean
time. But was it at all sure that |
should fall in love? While remained in
my present state of mind, so | argued, l
should all the time be wishing for more
liberty. Il know men too well, al
ready" thought l, and have only two
more winters in which to find the man
of my heart. For the matter of that,
am l not too calculating in my DISPOSE
ton for it to be probable that | ever
shall fall in love in any desperate fash
ion? On the other hand, what do | gain
by deciding to have all the fun l, can
before settling DOWN."
l counted up the girls 1 knew who had
made good matches, and l found that
most of them had taken their opportun-
tiles at best and gone off at least early in
their second winters; and this was especi-
ally true of girls who, like myself, had
had no money. On the whole / decided
tina, was my racket, as Bran
Boullter would have expressed it, and
having made up my mind Immediately
proceeded to select a husband. For |
had to marry somebody, and to wait I'M
til marriage de raison presented itself
would have been, under the circum-
stances, quite as foolish as to wait for
marriage d'amour. Oh men, men!-but,
dear me, if l apostrophize them, and
warn them that they do not know what
is going on in the minds of demure be-
ings whom they patronize and protect,
they can perfectly well reply that we do
not always comprehend the creatures
whom we consider SO coarse and stupid.
Alas, am afraid the human race is de-
ceitful as class,
1t was only natural that when once
began to think over my male acquaint-
ance l should first breathe with twin
born sigh" the name of my adored Bran.
I unused over his charms for 81 while, but
soon put the thought from me and pro-
ceeded to business, for | was not sure
that | cared for him more than most
girls did, nor was | at all sure of my
ability to overcome him. Moreover, he
was poor; but l must frankly confess
thtg tbpY,nl,t nrNSga1
mind | caught myself humming 1.-THE
desert were a paradiSe-If thou vert
there! IF thou vert there" Dear Bran!
But | proceeded to business, and after
disposing of one or two other men-Macy
Temple, for instance, for whom / felt
much friendship but no particular af-
lection, and who was quite as poor as
Mr.. BoulIter-I soon decided, with q
reservation in favor of anybody more
eligible who might turn up in the mean
time, upon Mr.. Charter.
My reasons were convincing. Penn
Charter was young, healthy to degree,
very rich, Of simply indispensable posi-
ton and quite good naturod. knew
that if | once succeeded in charming
aim his natural obstinacy would make
him marry me in spite of his mother,
who was u scraggy, jewcly old lady, of
uncomfortable pride and dense ig
norance, with violent temper and a
cockade OH her footmans nat. | was not
much scared by the prospect of hostiities
with her, and | knew that if once got
Mr.. Charter to fall in love with me
could keep him fond of me us long as
wished. My mind was naturally much
stronger than his, and if | married him
| should have the satisfaction of marry
ing a man whose habits as we'll as his
birth were gentlemanly. and who was
too little accustomed to slOwness in his
daily life to object to trife of rapidity
in mine.
When l had entirely made up my
mind l again took up the use of my
eyes, and shot several damaging glances
at him before he Left town. In the mean
time | gave my Ino.Ier an mixing Of
what was passing III my mind. | threw
out careless hints and sound generalities
on the subject OF marrying well and set
ting down. with which she was, of
course, highly pleased, and finally, with
out actually telling ner the name of the
man whom hoped to meet there, sue
ceeded in getting her to agree thatait
would be good thing for my prospects
if we could go to Narragansett for the
month of August.
| could not bring myself to speak
openly-it seemed to me too abominably
indicate 10 declare my intentions re-
garding any man, even to my own
mother, and l am afraid l thought as
much Of a little farewell Irritation with
Mr.. Doullter in the first two weeks of
the month as | did of making play on