The sun., 1891-01-01
SPARKS or WIZ

Painting, of all the fine arts, Is most
easily aquired.
A man will excuse any fault In o
woman who is not his wife.
If you want mans candid opinion
of you make him angry and you'll get
it.
When it comes to a question Of
society the best is not always the
cheapest.
Speaking of the man in the moon,
the general impression is that he 10
mot in it."
Married people. it is said, live
longer than single ones. 1t seems
longer, any way, to unhappy couples.
There are many people in the world
who laugh all the way home and stop
as soon as they reach their front door.
Women may indeed have a sphere
that is boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed-wire
fence.
The rate OF interest that broker
feels in a woman whom he Is courting
is liable to depend upon the amount
of her fortune.
The most bashful girl ever heard of
was the young lady who blushed when
she was asked if she had not been
courting sleep.
The matchmaker is doomed to per-
petua1 apprenticeship. Even when
he pretends to be in business for him
self he is really serving his time"
He Maud is very young and in
genuous in her way, isn't she?" She
Yes. Her second childhood rests
very gracefully upon her, doesn't itP'
Poet (reading his latest effusion to
a frienO-"Ah: my poem seems to
affect you very greatly-you are weep
ina?" Friend-"No, simply perspir-
ing!''
Teacher-"You think sin is an
adjective, do you? How would you
compare it?'' Smart boy-"Positive,
sin; comparative, sinner, superlative,
cynic."
are sandwiches and sandwiches.
There's nothing in some of them and
in others the more there is so much
the worse.
Isabel-"What an awfnlly shoddy
girl Genevieve Flyaway is! Every
thing about her has the air Of being
marked down." May-"Yes, even
her age"
In the distribution of vocations 1t Is
a strange fact that the man who could
run newspaper to suit every one is
always in some other business than
journalism.
Who will venture to say woman Is
not infinitely the superior of man
when it comes to that which, in the
vernacular,i is familiarly termed "pack-
ing trunk?"
McCorkle Cooking at the individual
leaning against that lamp-posD-
THAT man has queer name-Trian-
GLE" McCrackle-''Lt is appropriate,
though. He is rye-tangled triangle
Sam Johnsing all right now
Pse gwinter get up" Careful Wife
"Fool niggah. Jess you stay in bed
until you has tuck de rest oh de medi-
cine in dat bottle what l paid dollar
for"
Where is the doctor and what is be
doingp" Hes reading over his SER
mon of the morrow to acquire fuency
in its production" 'Oh, I see! A
kind Of 'practicing- g-what-he-preaches'
system"
"Ethel-"Of course, papa, I want to
marry him, but you'll have to give me
up, poor dear, won't you?" Papa
"Well, my dear, that's true; but then
we'll get rid OF your young man, too.
you know"
II wonder why 1t is that old violins
are more valuable than others?" said
Quericle. al don't know" replied
De Kicque, 'unless they have gotten
out of order so that nobody can play
on them"
She" Here you are getting home
late again. And there's a flush on
your face" He-"Just my luck.
Been waiting for q flush all evening.
and it comes too late to realize any
thing on it."
Il say, Bobby" whispered Feather
ly, "did your sister say that she hoped
my trip would do me good?" "Yes.
she told me last night that If Mr.
Featherly went west she hoped he
would 60 for good"
'On what ground, Mr.. Cautious, do
you propose to break our engage
mentP" There is no ground, Miss
Bellows; that's the trouble. 1 had
supposed, when we became engaged.
you owned large farm"
Rector's Wife-"You ought to avoid
even the appearance OF evil. Do YOU
yourself. think the girls who dance
are righte" Bale of the Parish
'"They must be. know the girls who
don't dance are always left"
Johuny-"Mr. Hankinson, amt you
shaped just like other menp"
Mr.. Hankinson -I suppose so,
Johnny. WhyF "Papa says you
amt exactly square and Irene
says you seem to be always round"
Teacher-"Thomas, saw you laugh
just now. What are you laughing
aboutp" TOMMY was just think
ing about something" Teacher
"You have no business thinking during
school, hours. Don't let it occur
again"
Gracs-"rm In hard luck" Ethel
What is the matterp" Grace
"Why. have had three engagements
broken, and owing to conventionalities
people wouldn't think it looked we'll
II sued more than one OF the fellows
for breach OF promise"
The young man was rough