Morning journal and courier., 1891-11-14
VICE.

Foley-Have you nice neighbors! Pat
terson-Elegant. Why, they spent the
fall and winter in Florida and the spring
and summer in Newport.-Epoch.
"H'm, that young man of yours, is he
worth anything inancially?" "Why, yes,
papa. He is worth at least $50 week to
the store, he says, though they only give
him 10."-Indianapolis Journal.
"George, you may ask papa" she said,
"and when you ask him don't let him
know that you are afraid of him. He may
call you few disagreeable names and
strike you once or twice; but if you let
kill ou."-Puck.
Tommy" said his mother, eff 1 get
you a new suit of clothes you must prom
ise not to climb trees or play marbles un-
til they are worn out" "Then," ans
wered Tommy, after a moments refiec-
ton. 81 guess 1 don't want them" y
Harper's Young People.
Churchill Showing friend his pen-and-
ink sketches What do you think of them,
Gassett? Gassett-They are good-very
good. But know fellow who can draw
an eagle without lifting his pen from the
paper. He is a professor in business
college. Bazaar.
Wagg-It's too bad about that girl that
jumped off the Washington monument,
isn't ita Wooden-Why, what did she
jump off fora Wagg-Why, you see she
was very thin. Wooden-What had that
to do with ita Wagg-Why, she thought
she'd come down plump. Courier.
edo you know" she said, as they leaned
over the vessels rail, ''that the shape of a
ship always reminds me of SO many ro-
mantle acquaintancess" Chow can a ships
shape remind you of such thingsa" he ask
ed, puzzled. Because" she answered, sit
begins with forward bow and has, alas! a
stern ending. Baltimore American.
Housekeeper-How long did you remain
in your last place? Applicant-Sure 1 left
in wan day. There was no plain the
Teddy at all, at ALL Whimsical, was she. "
''Indade she was that: The first night she
complained because I boiled the tay, an
tn very next morning she complained. be-
cause 1 did not boil the coffee. Thin
left."-New York Weekly.
Tenant Ito agent, who has been remon-
strating with her about little neighborly
"unplessantness') Sure, sorr, 1 always
| condoocts meself loike Teddy; the throu-
| BILE is wild thin Mulligans. Now I've lived
il tinemint house all me loife, and they
niver did before; until they come here
they always lived in shanty. Sure it's
some folks as can't sthand proshperity.-
Harper's Bazaar.
Mamma" said Chippy Oldblock, look
ing up from the newspaper that he was
slowly spelling out, 'I should like to be
Annie L. Jorkins' little boy" "What
makes you say that, deara" asked Mrs. Old
block She had tried to do her duty by
him and it grieved her to think his affec
tions should go out to someone else
"Wby, you see, this paper says that thu
Annie L. Jorkins has just come into por
with her spanker gone. boston Post.
A touching instance of the humor which
never deserts a true Irishman, even in hi
worst troubles, is recorded. A soldier wa
seen in the trenches holding his hanc
above the earthwork. His captain asked
"Whst are you doing that for, Pat,' b
replied with grin, as he worked his fin
gers "rm feelin' for a furlough, sure!'
Just then a rifle ball struck his arm belov
1 the wrist He drew it down quickly anc
grasped it with the other hand to checl
the blood. Then queer expression o
pain and humor passed his face, and h
exclaimed: CAN faith it's discharge. ~
Youths Companion.