The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-10
THE SCIENCE OF MANNERS.
A Simple Rule for Use on All
Social Occasions.

Many a good soul gives herself great
uneasiness upon being called into u
new sphere of action, either through
increase OF wealth OF through the hus-
bands election to office, or because of
promotion in any way, or on occasion
of u visit among those with whom
much social usage has rubbed away
corners and angles, and who know
just what to do and how to do it at
every point, and who. she fears, will
either be mortified by her ignorance
of the lesser details or will scorn her
ignorance, and herself with it.
But she should take into her view,
in the first place, that any IN who
would scorn her in the least for not
knowing the minor shades OF etiquette
is not worth considering in the least;
and that she is no more likely to be
thought lightly of for not knowing
the details of fashionable life than
fashionable people would be fiouted
for not knowing the i~ntricacies of be-
havior among the high Chinese; and
that if fashionable people We're to
visit her. it is quite as likely as not
that they would show themselves to
be unacquainted with the accepted
prOprieties in the smaller ways of life.
She needs but TO think of the wrang-
ling and confusion and resentment
and heart burning which would fol-
low a country funeral if u city person
had come to conduct it without in
struction, in order to see that every
province has its own satrap and code
of laws, and that after all it is much
the case of the mountain and the
mouse in Mr.. Emerson's apologize.
But there is an exceedingly ready
and short way out OF every difficulty
of the sort, for if the embarrassed in
dividual OF whom we speak will take
the trouble to reflect upon the various
dicta of the regulations concerning
which she feels herself uniformed,
and which have seemed to her only a
trap aid pitfali for the unwary, she
will come to the conclusion that none
willingly hamper themselves with
useless or capricious rules, which
would only involve their own discom-
fort, and that it is therefore to be sup
posed that every n of the lesser de-
tails has sprung into being to answer
a need, to make things easier, to spare
peoples feelings, prejudices or exer-
lions. That she must not break an
engagement to dine, let us say, is not
simply because she must lever
break any promise, but be-
cause doing so will d%isarrange
the whole affair, and make awkward
ness and inconvenience for those that
have been so kind as to ask her to
their table, That on calling cermon-
iouslv on one member of a household.
who is so either temporarily or per-
manently, she should leave her card,
or ask Tor the lady who is the head of
the house, even if quite Indifferent as
to whether she sees her or not, is not
the command of an idle piece of hyp-
ocrisy, but is to be done both because
the courtesy is due to the person
whose threshold is crossed, and be-
cause it makes the circumstances easy
for the person on whom the call is
really made, avoiding any disturbance
or Jealous. That she may not re-
fuse an invitation from one and accept
it from another is not a rule for the ar
bitrary curtailment of her liberty and
pleasure, but is n made forthe sake
OF sparing the sensibilities of the ono
whose invitation is not accepted. In
deed, we might go through the whole
list of the things to be done and not
to be done, and although one might
be appalled, by their extent and nun
Der, yet, upon searching into them,
one would fink that a single author
ity controlled them-the authority
that is behind all good manners-the
authority of the Golden Rule. They
are the finest ladies, they are the
gentlemen most without %reproach. in
relation to manners, whose whole be-
havior is modelled only upon the in
tention of doing to Others what
they would have others to do to
them. The old Stagirite said-how
many centuries ~ago.-that manners
were the lesser morals; and our
friend who fears for her etiquette on
coming in to new meridians will meet
most of it's essential requirements by
always remembering to do that which
would be most agreeable to others,
most delicately considerable of the
feelings, and the least likely to hurt
or wound. or mortify, or disgust
Ha7per'S BGzGr
M Gets There.
There's a girl up on the hill who
always gets a seat in the car if it is
just jammed. She isn't pretty, nor
anything Xix e that; but she is brainy
and her feet are large. She wears
sense shoes with heavy heels.
She goes into a a car and han gs to a
strap in front of some man. Then
every time the car jerks she lunges
around with those heels. After a few
lunges the man gives her his seat and
limps out and stands on the platform
and swears.--M. Paul Daily Globe.
A Snapshot Marriage.
In the diaries of the late Mr.. Cope,
{ ID ,-bliohaA hv Rantlau ~ Son