The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-06-17
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

II is peculiar that when man is full
he has a vacant look.
There is very little security in a light
ming bolt.-L0,oeU Courier.
The farmer declares a dividend on his
plowshares.- Washington Star.
Natural selcction-Thc best umbrella
in the rack.-Har0ard Lampoon.
The fisher for compliments generally
bats his hook with hattery.-Bostoa
Courier.
"Actions speak louder than words"
We may never say die, but we've all got
to do it.-Pucb.
The moustache is thing of beauty,
but it never has sense enough to get out
of the wet.-Puck.
" Some men can't stand suspense" as
the philosopher said when he witnessed
the hanging Columbus Post.
The man that has gone to grass" fln6->
that he has to keep off of it when he has
got to the public parks.-Ptek.
A Chicago man has just had a coat-of-
arms fixed up with the motto, San
things come to him who hustles."
"Hello, said the citizen, as he watched
a cloud of dust arising, "I see real es-
tate is going up again. - Washington
Post.
That was an ingenious disciple of Isaak
Walton who Hshed for electric eels with
lightning rod.-BoStoa Commercial Bul.
letiH.
1t is all right to hawk spring chickens
about the streets, but it isn't to hawk
them about barnyard. - Washington
Star.
Sharp-"Renthaus is going to move
again" Flat-''How do you know"
Sharp-"He's using up the back steps
for kindling. Puck.
A man in North Carolina has horse 40
years old, and he is doing al be can to
smooth the animals pathway to the glGe
factory-I'eras SJtiags
Freshly-"The moon is just comfort
ably full now" Old Soak with the
knowledge of experience) will
soon be reduced to its last quarter"
Sunday School Teacher:-" When
your father and mother forsake you, who
will take you up 2" Small Boy. "The
perlice, slr.'-Har0ard Lampooa.
Beggar-"I was once soldier, SIR"
Veteran-"You were, ehl I'll prove it.
Attention! Eyes right!-Eow, what Is
next!" Beggar-"Present arms. "-Ne,O
York HeraH.
Things One Would Rather: Algernou
(who is much given to talking in phrases)
-"Angelina, l love you with fer.
vor--a fervor worthy of better causel"
-HarDard LampooR.
Mr. Rasticus-"AIiss Simper, shall we
promenadel' Miss shipper" Prone
nahd' With pleasure Mr. Rasti.
cus-"Shall we have Il glass of-er-
lemonahd firstl"-C CAicago Tribune.
"Mcrcy me " said Miss Passee; 81
sincerely hope they will not pass the law
making day of eight hours" "Why
not 2 "Just think how rapidly we shall
age just three times as fast. '-Har-
Per's Bdsar.
The editor of the Chicago Tribune has
probably run into an umbrella. lie
liAANa bhlo hhllbulllpu. ~ NJ lllu Shoulu
carry half opened umbrella in a crowd.
He should either put up or shut up. -
haHsas city Star.
Old Vickars-"Oh, Of course. YOU
think you know ever so much more than
your father" Young Vickars-"Oh,
no, don't; indeed l dout. 1t is, no
doubt, true that your age aud experience
more than counterbalanco my superior
intellectual ability pa. pa.'-Lliaap0tis
JOUW0.
We'll, ~ said a lawyer as he entered his
condemned clients cell, good news at
last" "a reprieye 2 - eagerly ex-
claimed the prisoner. No, not re.
prieyc, but your uncle has died and left
you S25OO, and now you can meet Your
tate with the satisfying feeling tina, the
noble efforts Of your lawyer in your be-
half were not urewarded"-L0ud0a TIL
Bits.
"Young man. said the stern father,
edo you realize that my daughter is in
the habit OF wearing dresses that cost all
the way from $50 10 SlOOW IL do"
replied the young mau, firmly, 'and,
sir, he continued, AN eNultant rinp in
his voice, it was only the other night
that we took an account OF stock and
found that she had enough OF tbcm TO
last three years ahead, - CLas A.etes,