The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-13
BRIGHT BITS,

HoUsEwIFE-If you are not away from here
in two minutes Ill send for policeman.
Hungry Higgins-Give me the arrant. ma'am,
III hunt up one fer on'y 10 cents.-Indidndpoli
Journ0I.
WIFE Ito dying husbsnd)- Darling, will you
wait for me at the gate
Husband tfaintly)-Yes. dear, but please
don't call on any of your acquaintance on the
day OF your funeral-Irltth.
LITTLE GIRL (reading)-''Nature unadorned
is adorned the most" What does that mean?
Little Brother latter deep thoughtl-I guess
it means q roast chicken is nicer than a chic ken
wifi its feathers on.-Good Ners.
TIE FACT that Fred May, formerly of New
York, was a prominent figure in the Chilean in
surgent army NAV account for the ep in terest
taken in the recent struggle in that country by
James Gordon Benneu's paper. Chicago Aetcs.
"Ol DEAR, alderman will you help me toIgat
into any humble posiuong-of course was born
and educated in America, but couldn't held
| it,"
well, bedad, and the cheek OF yez. There's
| not enough offices for ourselves. " Brooklyn
| Life. tsy
''WHY, what's the matter with your" ex-
| claimed one amateur bear hunter to another as
| they paused long enough to realize that they
| had managed to outrun the grizzly; what's
the matter with you, anyway? I've often heard
| of your legal aspirations and here you've been
| running away from O sure chance to be ad-
mitted to the bar. "-BOston Courier.
| THERE was only one piece or pie left on the
| plate and Willie's mother pressed the visitor to
| takeit. He declined, but she insisted. Willie
had had no pie and this was more than he could
stand. In a voice of bitter sarcasm he howled
out:
Keep on worryin' him, nav Keep on
worryin' him! He'll take it after awhie!"
| Chicago Tribune.
DRoPP1N-Hard to ind face with 'charac-
ter" eh-we now, dear boy, if can be OF any
S+aipoIaee-I faar /, saint with stRurps;Ja,,
| whiskers would be rather novel in church
| window.
| lroppin-But You could leave out the
| whiskerS
Ssainglass-Then we lose all 1.-The character
| Boston Beacon.
| Nav YORK WOMAN who was learning to ride
| horseback went out for canter in Central
| Park. Telling her groom to keep at distance
she wished to manage her horse herself She
| took with her a manual on How Women
| Should Ride, - and When her horse took fright
at sprinklng cart she consulted the book.
The police caught ;he horse and the groom
| took his mistress nome on his own Steed- The
book is missing .-Dtrott Free Press.
WELL" said TEACHER in one of our pub
| lie schools, TO q bright, persistent scholar
| in q grammar class IF you are sure mstri-
mony is an ADJECTIVE, will you compare it,"
Brother Tom waO has just got married, SAYS
| it can't be cOmpaIsd to anything in the world, "
! +. ttlsd off ths sche ar. y
| "rhea compare il by the rule" insisted the
| teacher, quite good naturedly.
Positive, Miss said the scholar; compare
| tive, Mr.; superiatSe. Mrs. "-ErchGnge.
FRUIT PAcKER-tames. have you made out
| that check for my pew rent?
BookEeeper-YeI sir.
rs it ready to uai?"
''Nes, sir" "a Iause.)
James. have yoh written an order for an
order for another BIT of that pink gauze for the
| peach baskets?"
| Yes, sir
rs it ready to nail?"
Yes, SIR" (Anether pause)
James, see if ytu have got each one in its
| right envelope ~ hicddo Tribune.