The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-27
BRIGHT BITS.

PUPIL On class in punctuation, reading)-I
saw Alice charming girl.
Teacher-Well what would you dor
Pupil-Make q dash after Alice.
Teacher Right.-PIIck.
THIS" said the pale young man to the
editor, lis the only p0em ever wrote.''
"lndeed-keep it, my boy, No one shall ever
say that deprived any one OF his only poem"
returned the editor.-Spdrks.
HIN. that young man of yours-is he worth
anything financially"
Why yes. papa. He is worth at least S35 a
week to the store, he says, though they only
give him $40. "-LiIdfanGpolis journal,
..JUsr see how fondly that man kisses his
wife good-by," said the optimist. There is no
sham demonstration there"
20. that is because she is going away" said
the pessimist .-HndidnapoIIs Journal
He often was told in his wife
That treasure to him had been giveni
Yet 'twould be the joy of his life
Could he LAY up his treasure in heaven"
Brooklyn Life.
No ANaLoNANIAc was he
Twas very plainly true.
He didn't give Queens English" the
Respect that was it's due.
Washington Star.
TWAS nothing but a little kiss,
~ twas but a lock of hair.
But they broke him up at billiards,
And in the bill of fare.
Washington Star.
IT always seems to me that cheek
Succeeds In besting worth and skill;
Why, cen in church one small red cent
Makes more noise than dollar bill
Colorado Sun.
MIsrREss-TeH the milkmsn to bring us pint
Of cream
Maid-No use, mum. He hasn't any cream.
Ibid he say so?"
''No'm; but his milk doesn't raise cream. I've
tried it often. "-NeO York Weekly.
jim HIcKEY-So charlie ordered the wine last
night
Tom de Witt-Yes;. but when the waiter
! brought it he said he meant it as joke.
Jim Hickey-And how did the boys take it?
Tom de Witch, we took it-as a JOKE.
Mrs. D1MslTE-Willie, have you seen my
sleeve buttons?
find his own this morning, 50 he took yours.
Mrs. DimSte-All right. III wear his. They
must be in plain sight somewhere.-Patck.
QUEsrER-Can you tell me how they came TO
nominate old Humper for collector of this town?
he doesn't seem to me to possess any quali1ca-
tions for the Office
Jester-Doesn't eh! Well, can't name any
one that ought to know more about back taxes
than he for he's had lumbago off and on for the
last fifteen yearss-RostoH Courier.
DocroR- Notwithstanding the fact that there
are new diseases coming up every day, the old
ones seem to hold their own all the same.
Tarter-Yes? Well. that may be, but there's
one of the old sort that don't seem to affect my
out-of-town customers at all.
Doctor-What is that?
Tarter-The RENTING fever.-Boston Jour
nal
WHAT have you been doing lately, JonesH"
Writing a dialect story"
Yes. What's the subject:"
"Calvinsm."
How absurd How can you connect the
two7"
Easy enough, of course. Didn't every good
Calyinist believe in the die-elect principlef'-
Philadelphia Press.
SHE was both good and true,
Was sweet and also tender,
Yet in a sorry plight,
With no one to defend her,
Now to such saint
Had long desired to groveI,
And when at last found her
Alas! twas in a novel.
--NeLU York Herald
HIRED GIRL-And what do you give me notice
for, ma am.
Mistress--You evidently don't know your
place.
Hired Girl-Ain't always been respectful,
ma'amS
Mistress Yes but you don't seem to know
your place, for every time you go out at night
it takes you till after IL O'Clock to find it.-Ne,O
York Press