davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
A MEAN MAN.
How He Rendered His Enemy Helpless and
Then Defied Him.

During the halcyon days of the roller
skating rink was in the ticket Office
of a rink in Louisville when a man
came in and asked if he could hire the
floor for one hour 1t was about ten
o'clock in the forenoon, and after some
figuring he was told thathe could have
it for ten dollars.
81 want to bring friend here and
teach him to roll, he explained, "and l
want it understood that no one is to
raise hand to help"
That was agreed to, and he paid the
money and went away. When he re-
turned, ten minutes later, he had his
friend with him, and he selected one
pair of rollers, strapped them to the
mans feet, and after little led him
out to the center of the floor, where
there was a single column leading up
to the roof. Here he loosened his
hold, stood back with folded arms, and
said:
"James Burns, you are cheat and a
liar! You lied me out of fifty dollars a
year ago!"
''Lool1 here, Sam; what does this
inean?" demanded the other, who was
clinging to the post for support.
"It means that the hour for my re-
venge has come at last! james Burns,
you are scoundrel Yes, sir; you are a
contemplate, miserable wretchP'
"You-you must be crazyn gasped
the victim, as he recovered from a
''slew" made by one of his feet.
"No, sir! Far from it! l planned
this to get revenge. You are low
lived, miserable cur! Words fail to ex-
press my contempt for your
The other made move at him, but
"slewed" right and left and came near
going down. He got new grip on the
post, and stood there with his legs
webbing and trembling. The other
steadfastly regarded him for a long
minute and then exclaimed:
Liar, villifier, slanderer, defy and
spit upon you!"
He advanced and spat, and then
turned on his heel and walked away.
The other was so mad and helpless that
he shed tears, and he offered All EN-.
ploye five dollars to come and help him
sit down and get his skates off. This
was against the bargain, however, and
no one went near him. He got so mad
that he decided to try it alone, but the
instant he let go of the post one foot
shot one way and the other IN a con,
trary direction, and he came down like
" block of stone. After ten minutes
work he got his skates off, and then he
rrawled across the floor on hands 4nd
knees. His companion had disappeared
but as he was ready to follow after nj
he waved his hand to lis and said:
81 will hunt him! ! will find him!
will skin him, and use his skin for fish
bait to catch bullheads WITHIN. Y
Sun
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
Fooled the Joker

A Brooklyn artist recently got very
much the best of young friend,
whose funny" proclivities prompted
him to order an expensive portrait of
himself, and who, when the bill was
presented, said laughingly: "Oh, my
dear boy, didn't intend that you should
paint it for me, but for yourself" The
artist appeared not the slightest annoy
ed, but merely said: "Oh, very well, |
will place it in my window; it will at
tract attention, and later you may be
more anxious to take it." That even
ing the practical joker was attracted by
a crowd in front of his artist friends
showcase, and crossing over to ascer-
tain the cause, found to his consterna-
ton and chagrin that his friend had
added a large, symmetrical pair of
donkey's ears to his head in the like
ness displayed; he rushed into his
friends studio, and without a word
wrote out a check for the amount in
full, and the offending likeness was re.
moved.-N. Y. Continent
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
Curious Facts ..bOut Faster.

The fact that Easter fell on a very
early date this year March 29) has
caused ''friend of facts and figures" to
collect some curious statistics. In 1885
he says Easter fell on March 25, and it
will only once again this century, name
ly, in 1894, fall on so early date. In
three following centuries it will oc-
cur only eight times on the same date
namely, in 1851, 2O35, 2O46, 2O57, 21O3,
2114, 1925 and 2l9S. The earliest date
on which Easter can fall is on March %,
and this only in case the moon is full on
March 21, when this date happens to fall
on Saturday. This combination of
circumstances is extremely rare; it oc-
CURED in 1893, 1761 and 1917, and will
happen again in 1890, 2O76, and 2144,
while during the three following centur-
les it Is not once Ion the books" at this
early date. On the other hand Easter
never falls later that April 25; this was
the case in 1866, 1884 and 1886, and will
only happen once in the next century,
namely, 1943.-Boston Journal.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
THE RAJAH'S PAPER-CUTTER.
It Was Self-Acting and Too Large for
Ordinary Use.

It Was Self-Acting and Too Large for
Ordinary Use.
A Calcutta newspaper relates an in
cident which illustrates the magnificent
way in which the Rajahs of India-or at
least those of them who remain opulent
and powerful-repay small debt Not
long ago the Rajah Holkar of Indore, in
paying a visit to the viceroy, the
Marquis of Lansdowne, at Calcutta, was
shown by the marquis several of the
London illustrated newspapers. In
cutting the leaves of these journals,
Lord Lansdowne used an ivory paper
cutter.
The Rajah had never seen a paper
cutter before, and was much interested
in the little instrument.
"If your excellency will make me a
present of il" he said, 81 will send you
another in exchange"
The viceroy promptly gave his guest
the paper-cutter, and the Rajah re-
turned with it to his own dominions.
Lord Lansdowne had almost forgot
ten the incident when he received notice
that the Rajah's return gift was on the
way; and he was presently astonished
to have brought to him young and
handsome elephant each of whose
tusks had been slSillfully wrought into
the shape of a paper-cutter.
A servant brought some illustrated
newspapers, at which the elephant
seized them with his trunk, and pro
ceeded very skillfully to cut the leaves
with his sharply trimmed tusks. He
had been trained to this accomplish.
ment under the Rajah's orders.
The living paper-cutter, it is under,
stood, is still in Lord Lansdowne's pos.
session; but it is not one of the ordinary
furnishings of the viceroy's library.
For his customary opening of books and
newspapers, he keeps less bulky i'm
plement-Youth's Companion.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
A Startled nrganist.

A curious incident disturbed con-
gregation at st. Michaers church, Follle-
stone, Eng. a short time ago. The
organ in that church is provided with
kettledrums, which are brought into
action by the organist pressing against
an electric knob fiXe0 to the back of his
seat. This arrangement was not ex.
planned to a strange organist, who had
no sooner leaned back to hear the ser.
mon comfortably than startling up.
roar began in the recesses of the instru-
ment. looking up in establishment, the
unsuepeCting artist only pressed the
knob the harder, and faster and more
furious became the action of the drums.
This went on for considerable time,
till somebody with presence of mind
rushed up and explained the secret -
ChiGIgo Times.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
THE LAST LAUGH BEST.
A Stage Villains "Low Down" Method of
Getting Square With Two Young
Women.

stage Villains "LOW DOWN. MethOu oil
Getting Square With Two Young
Women.
He was walking down upper Fifth
avenue, just in front of two young and
pretty women. He was an actor, and
walked with even more than the usual
strut. At such an angle did he incline
his nose from mother earth that he
couldn't have seen the yawning mouth
of an open coal hole or.the entrance to the
pit itself, waiting to receive him. How,
then, should he avoid the malignant bit
of banana skin that laid itself out to
ensnare him, and which, being trodden
upon, turned like the storied worm and
btrove nightly with him? And "0h,
what fall was there, my countrymen"
Involuntarily the ladies, who had
seen the whole occurrence, giggled audi
bly,. They knew it wasn't proper, but
they really couldn't help themselves.
Even as the victim waved his arms
wildly and turned half way around in
his struggle with the skin, he had seen
the smiles and heard the silvery laugh
ter, and as the pavement struck him
every other feeling gave way to great
and burning desire for revenge.
AS the ladies, therefore, would have
passed him by-still lying on the walk
on the other side, hollow groan
came from his lips His legs were
drawn spasmodically up and then kick
ed violently out again. His whole body
writhed and twisted and his features
were distorted with agony. And again
that awful groan was emitted from his
lips
HE must have brolen his spine,"
whispered one of the fair ones to her
companion, as they gazed Mortified on
the pain-drawn face. "Oh, what can
we do And we laughed at him."
Conscience stricken and feeling like
murderers they looked for aid. But
only woman, and she two blocks
away, could be seen. And they had to
act at once for the weakening struggles
Of the miserable man told them he
might be dying. Quickly the more
practical and cooler headed of the two
idh up VIC SodlIo US uHC DlOWh bbchS
mansion in front of which the accident
had happened, and once, twice, thrice
pressed the electric button. Before a
servant could respond she was by the
fallen mans side. She called to her
friend, and between the two they pulled
him toward the stoop and finally got
him in sitting position on the steps
And, not knowing what else to do, one
of the fair damsels began TO brush his
overcoat with her dainty gloved hand.
Whereupon the injured mans eyes
opened and smile broke over his face
Really, MISS" said he politely, 81
couldn't permit that. And am already
under the greatest obligations to you
for your kindly assistance" Then
placing his hand over his heart he bow
ed his thanks, and with dignity and
grace alike unimpaired resumed his in.
terrupted walk.
He had simply given a strict perform
ance of his realistic dying scene"
A moment later the tardy servant
opened the door. He saw only stately
figure in a dusty overcoat moving with
measured pace down the avenue.-N.
Y. Herald.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
A Sure Cure.

In certain house there was baby
that annoyed every one by its continual
squalling. AT last a physician was CALI
ed in. He administered bolus of the
soothing virtues of which he had O
high opinion, and offered to pass the
night in the house to observe the effects
of his remedy.
After few hours, hearing no noise,
he exclaimed:
''Good! the child is cured"
EYES," replied an attendant, ''the
child has indeed stopped crying, but
the mother has begun to MOURN
Chinese Paper.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
NUMBER 80.
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

If we can not work out the will of
God where God has placed us, then
why has he placed us there?-J. II.
Thorn.
There is no note on the harp of Ga
briel more welcome to Jehovah than
the cry of penitent for mercy, or the
supplication of child of Philip.
Senator Stanford has been visiting
Cornell university at Ithaca, with the
view, as a university builder himself, to
get some points from the empire state
institution.
Mr.. John D. Rockefeller has added
one more contribution to his long list of
charitable requests by giving another
500, 600 to the American Baptist Educa-
ton Society.
The Hungarian Ministry of Public
Worship has sanctioned the establish
ment of lottery for the purpose of
raising the sum of 100000 forms to be
devoted to the uses of the Protestant
church fund.
Prayer is religion in action. 1t is
the soul of many engaging in the par
ticular form of activity which pre-sup-
poses the existence of great bond be-
tween itself and God Prayer is the
noblest kind of human exertion. Canon
Liddon.
The Christian Worker, gives sta
tistical exhibit of the Friends of this
country and Canada, showing that they
have ISL meetings, 1908 ministers, and
76, 1856 members. Adding the member
ship in Great Britain, Ireland, Austria
liza and other countries the result is q
| grand total of 101, S72 members.
The recent retirement of Prof Theo.
w. Dwight from the wardenship of the
Columbia College Law School, this
city, has been followed by the resigna-
tions of Prof. George Chase and Prof.
Robert d. Petty, all three to take effect
July 1. 1t is stated that these retire.
ments are due to the introduction into
the school of new methods of instruc-
ton resembling those of Harvard.
The Russian government, it is stat
ed, looks upon the movement of the
salvation army with great disfavor. 1t
seems that the army has done much
successful work in different parts of
Russia, principally in Finland, and that
it has even dared to enter st. Peters
burgh. Energetic measures are to be
taken, it is understood, against the
army.
Cardinal Lavigerie, well known for
his efforts to suppress the slave-trade,
has written letter to the Emperor
Alexander Ill, in which he defends the
oppressed Russian Jews and claims for
them their natural rights of which they
are being deprived. The cardinal, not
as prelate, but as man, implores the
Gear, in the name of humanity and
Christianity, to have mercy on his jew
ish subjects, Messenger.
Many will agree with President An
drews, of Brown, when he says with
reference to collegiate education that
1--WE can and must put more of the
bread of life into our curriculum, and
makes plea for the increased study,
ON improved lines, of literature, his
tory, sociology and political economy.
He would have, not less of the mental
drill work, not less of the sciences, but
an insistence upon the humanities in
their due proportion, and thus a true
maintenance of the idea of classical
education. 1t is time there was re-
action against the scientific fad" in
education.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22


came rushing up the steps, unlocked
the door and banged it open, and his
face was as pale as death as he gasped
out:
"My-my wallet!'
your wallet? Why, found 1t under
your pillow and lef%it on the nlantel
there"
And you you've looked inside of it!'
mo, haven't It's there, just as
found it."
He seized it and sat down and counted
the contents over thrice, and as he ut
tered great sigh of relief, asked:
SIS your money all right?"
SIT seems to be-"
"And suppose / had opened it and
counted your cash?"
"W-what!"
Suppose had even helped myself to
| five or ten dollars?"
"You-you help YOURSELF"
YES. Didn't you tell me that half
your money belonged to me, and that
had just as much right to the family
wallet as you?"
"Ncverr'
"Mr Bowserl"
"Never. Never did! Never said any
thing which could possibly be construed
to mean any such thing! Never, under
any circumstances. Mrs. Bowser, do
you dare to lay finger on my walletp'
~ never will-not even after you are
deadw
See that you don't"
After that it was interesting to note
the care he took to dispose of that wal
let at night. He would slyly leave il
downstairs-drop it into the umbrella
jar in the hall-hide it in the spare bed.
room or under our own bed. Once he
made dreadful mistake, and didn't
feel bit sorry about it. Not knowing
that our bedroom window was up from
the bottom, he slipped his wallet down
behind the inside blinds. 1t went dowr
to the sill and rolled to the ground, anc
some one picked it up the next morning
before we were awake | was yet ASLEEP
when Mr.. Bowser, having sneaked ou'
of bed to look after his wallet suddenly
shouted out:
"By the great horn spoon! but you
want to give me that wallet before yor
breathe two more breaths!"
"What on earth is the matter?"
asked.
Don't think to bamboozlc me by put
ting on such an innocent loolSl Where's
that wallet?"
81 haven't seen it,"
you got up in the night and stole il
remember now of hearing you craw
out of bed. Produce that wallet or II
leave the houser'
"Where did you leave it?"
Behind the blinds here"
"Then look on the ground"
Three or four private papers wer
| lying on the grass, and by and by h
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
LEARNING TO WALK.
The Moral Importance of Training in
Locomotion.

People sometimes ask, At what age
can we seat child in chair; when
put them on his legs; how old must he
be before we teach him to walk? The
answers are easy. He must not be
made to sit till he has spontaneously
set up in his bed and has been able to
hold his seat, This sometimes happens
in the sixth or seventh month, some
times later. The sitting position is not
without danger, even when he takes 1t
himself; imposed prematurely upon
him, it tires the backbone and may in
terfere with the growth, so the child
should never be taught to stand or to
walk. That is his affair, not ours.
Place him on carpet in a healthy room
or in the open air, and let him play in
freedom, roll, try to go ahead on his
hands and feet, or go backward, which
he will do more successfully at first, it
all gradually strengthens and hardens
him. Some day he will manage to get
upon his knees, another day to go for
ward upon them and then to raise him
self up against the chairs. He thus
learns to do all he can, as fast as he
can, and no more.
But, they say, he will be longer in
learning to walk if he is left to go on
his knees or his hands and feet indeti-
nitely. What difference does it make
if, exploring the world in this way, he
becomes acquainted with things, learns
to estimate distances, strengthens his
legs and back, prepares himself, in
short, to walk better when he gets to
walking? The important thing is, not
whether he walks now or then; but
that he learn to guide himself, and
to help himself, and to have
confidence in himself. hold,
without exaggeration that education of
character is going on at the same time
with training in locomotion, and that
the way one learns to walk is not with
out moral Importance. Prof Henri
Marion, in Popular Science Monthly
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22

pony hsAN pN"ANN'N NNBuA wv WYNN M =
Bowser held out his hand to me.
what is it?"
Hand over"
"What do you mean?"
THAT thirty dollars"
But it is my allowance. You said
so before all the people, and now you
won't be injun enough to take it back. -"
you know very well why l gave it
to you. 1t was to show off over
Thompson and Jones, who never allow
their wives cent"
"We0, I'll see about it"
After we had been in bed half an
hour, and he thought was asleep, he
got up and searched for two long hours
after that money. had tucked it be-
hind the clock in the sitting-room, and
he found il at last, and when he got
into bed heard him chuckling:
THE idea of any sane husband Civ
ing his wife thirty dollars all in lump!
Why, she'd have just wasted two-thirds
of it,
We had been married about a year,
md remember what shock it gave
me when Mr.. BowSer returned to the
house one morning about half an hour
after he had started down town lie
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22

house | shall carry the wallet but l
propose to hand you over certain sum
every Saturday night. 1t will be pin
money"
''Ilow good you are!"
81 think 1t is only just and right. |
know a dozen married men whose
wives have to almost get down IN their
knees to get dollar. could kick
such man. How much do you think
you can use a week?"
"A-a-dollar, perhaps"
"a dollar! My wife trying to get
along on a dollar a week! Why, you
little darling, you shall have at least
make it twenty dollars or thirty dol
lars"
1t was the old story over again. He
cut me down to eight dollars-seven
dollars-fve dollars-four dollars-two
dollars-and at length, when we had
been married about four months and |
asked him for dollar he turned on me
with:
"What More money! Doyou think
I've got gold mine? What on earth
10 you want money for?"
1--WE got to get few little notions"
but you can't want a dollars worth
"a whole dollars worth. Here's thirty
cents, and l hope you will remember
that these are hard times and money is
money"
One evening when we had company
the talk fell upon this very subject, and
Mr., Bowser promptly observed:
"a wife has just as much right to the
family wallet as the husband, and
there ought to be law to enforce this
right"
you make your wife an allowance,
of course?" queried one of the ladies'.
Certainly, and l never ask what use
she makes of it. That reminds me that
this is Saturday night and owe her
two weeks salary"
He opened his wallet and handed me
three ten-dollar bills, and five married
ladies exclaimed in chorus:
slow i - wish / was-Mrs. -
Bowser"
Before the evening was over l ha6
the money hidden away, and our com
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
THINGS DIDN'T SUIT HIM.
Not Even the Clever Repartee of the Mild
Young Lady.

MOI Even the SleVeT IkeparUce q Tue muu
Young Lady.
A medical man from Norway stayed
over recently for few days in
Chicago. Nothing in the city
seemed to pleased him. He found
fault with the mayor the pave
ments, police, gas, light, heat, electrici-
ty-along with all the other forms of
motion and commotion-not to mention
politics, of town, township, state and
nation. AS an ancient writer would
say: "IIe air a most consequential cuss."
One evening at a house ON Dearborn
avenue he was talking about education
generally, and comparing the slow
meth odical processes of Europe with
what he called 1.-The filing, forcing and
pumping methods" pursued in the
United States. He spoke in loud
harsh, strident tones and didn't seem
to afford an excellent specimen of any
sort of careful training in his own per-
son. "One thing that very much sur
prises me-" he said, lis that Amer
lean children, who are care
lessly and badly brought up, be
come in time such amiable and
thoroughly polite men and women"
This remark was leveled at very mild
hammered young lady, who lifting her
eyebrows said mot with her eyebrows);
"Dr -, the results, from whatever
cause, are evidently quite the opposite
of what are produced by the benificent
system in Norway" The company
laughed, and almost gave three cheers,
while the medicine man looked angry
enough to help Bottom the weaver in
enacting a part in which some cat had
to be torn.-Chicago Journal
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
why She Smiled.

Hostctter McGinnis-I saw you talk
ing to Miss Esmeralda Longcoffin at
the sociable last night, and You must
have told her something very funny.
She couldn't stop laughing.
Gilhooly-Humph! 1t is easy to keep
a girl laughing when she has good teeth
and wants to show them off Texas
Siftings.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
In q Boston school.

Teaeher-Emerson Homer, you may
parse the next word-universe.
Emerson Homer-Universe is a noun,
common, of the feminine gender
Teacher (interrupting) - Feminine
gender, did you say?
Emerson Homer-Yes ma am; Bos
ton is her hub, you know,-Judge.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
MIR. BOWSER.
Mrs. B. Tells of Her Experience as
to the Family Wallet.

SUPPOSE eight
out of every ten
w i v C S e o
through t h e
S a m Q e X
perience as to
money matters,
When we had
returned from
our bridal tour
MT. ID u w , Z L
said to me;
"While h alf
of what l have
belongs to you
l do not propose
that you shall
be obliged to
beg for your
half. Being the
head o { { h G
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
Something More Difficult,

"What wonderful progress the sci
ence of optics has made in the past
ten years! The diffic complaints,
astigmatism, myophia, hyperopia,
ermetropia and others have been
found"
There is one thing can't under
stand"
whats that?'
"How they found out their names" ~
jewelers. Circular.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
No Time to Lose.

First Reporter-Don't stop me, have
just been writing up the home life of a
great author.
Second Reporter What's your hurry
First Reporter am going to break
off my engagement.-West Shore.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-05-22
4 EnrnrahIe Imnressinn.

Amy-Papa, do you know anything
of Mr. Rustic, who has called on mo
once or twice?
Papa-lle's young business man.
Amy-Ah, like man who means
business West Shore,