The Opelousas courier., 1891-03-14
HUMOR OF Fl DAY.


Set a hen on a china egg and she i
better off.
Promissory notes are frequently elasset
as paper-wai,s.
A good thing to have around tn,
house-A fence.
When it is very cold it is not so bad
to be between two fires.
The crayon artist is not supposed to
have political aspirations because he fire.
quently takes the stump.-Boston Cour
Ter.
sappy-tsvery few people get what
they deserve in this world" Miss
Caustique-ttAren't you glad2"-Mun.
,ey's Weekly.
"Emneline, q you keep a secret9"
be whispered hoarsely. 81 don't know.
never tried to. What is it9"-PaiM-
! aelphia Times.
J A young man who married a Clutter
dy of fashion" was unable, a year later,
to provide s'grub" for his butterfly
Mrristo,oB Herald.
Papa "Come here, Toddlekins.
Whom does papa love better than any
one else in the worldi' Toddlekins@
"Papa."-Ne0 Fork Sun.
Mabel (confdensially-ssI was awfully
stuck on you once, Jack" Jack (grati.
fed)-"When was that7" Mabel-t'Be-
fore l knew you. "-Eposs.
Little John Jones says that his teacher
In arithmetic ought to be dismissed
from school because she invariably sets
him horrible example.-Elmiro Gazette.
A chiedet by the brooklet,
With his gunlet loaded full,
Lei go a leaden bullet
And killed old Sitting Bull.
Washington Star.
A bridegroom six feet seven inches
tall has just taken to himself a bride who
measures three feet one inch. Love me
little, love me long was the burden of
their song.-O Chicago Mail.
"Yes, i once failed for a hundred
thousand, " remarked the red headed man
who hadn't treated yet. aYou see, the
girl was worth that in her W right and
refused me. n-PhiadelpAia Times.
Photographer--sYou son, the student,
ordered this likeness from me- sit is
certainly very much like him. Has he
paid for it3n ssNut yet. "That is still
more like i m."-Fliegeade Biaetter.
aGrindstone. have Won ever tried a
raw onion as a remedy for sleeplessness9"
Tried it once, Kiljordan.n "How did
it work." Had to go to sleep to get
rid of the taste.''-NeW Fork World.
Fred-aI didn't mind Tavlor's dis.
charging nj SO much as / did the insult
he subsequently, offered me-" Frank
"What was thata' Fred-aHe adver.
Used for a boy to fill my place."-Yan
kee Blade.
Mrs. Gottleft-aDo you know what
everyone says2 They all say you mar
ried me only for my money MFR. Gott-
left-aI don't see how it ever got out.
/ am II / never told any one."-M-
Journal.
Mrs. Yerger-aWhat is the matteri
You seem to be very much annoyed"
Mrs. P~eterhy-ssI have good reason to
be annoyed. That ~addle-pated goose,
Jones, treats me as if I were Lot
her equal."-7sras sytings.
A few little sprinkles
OF delicate wrinkles
And eyeglasses just a bit stronger
"A sigh misanthropic,
When age is the topic.
Maud isn't q bud any longer.
= Washington Post.
Butcher, who has been rejoiced by the
birth of q son, is informed that the child
nearly eight pounds. He takes |
him in his arms to feel his weight and |
calls out astonished: s.By Jove, SO he
then alter q moments pause adds:
but with the bones, mind YOU
.9iegeade Blaeter.
With trembling voice, though arlent look, |
He family asked her could she cookg7
She owned she could, and, bolder grown,
He asked her IL she'd be his own.
sIudsedp said she, with her nose a-curl:
II supposed you were wanting q hired girl"
-Indiandpoiis Journal.
A farm journal said: ssThere is going
Q be o money in poultry than here
ofore. The ncxtday a farmers wife
ound q nickel In a chickens crop, and
old her husband that il was the first
she ever saw anything reliabIe$ IA
= agricultural paper published in q bin
{ .-Noryistoun Herald.