The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1891-12-01

Making Enemies.
Chicago Nous.
A certain eccentric writer has recently
stated in II certain eccentric book that
one cannot be too careful in choosing
ones enemies, and there is undoubtedly
modicum OF truth in the remark. Most
men who are not colorless nobodies,
most women who arc not akin to the
jelly fish tribe, have enemies. How
manr li'hcm have been ut the pains
TO IL, areally careful selection OF
thee necessities OF quarrelsome civil
ization? }l5
A little more thought, little more
care, might make ones enemies posi-
tive pleasure instead OF nuisance, but
that thought and caro- arc seldom or
never exercised. II they were We
should not witness perpetually, mis-
takes such as really jar upon tho scnsi-
bic mind. Why does not some compe-
tent person with u long and varied ex-
pcricnce OF enemies come forward and
give lis the benefit OF his knowledge of
the subject? No sensible thinking per-
son, whether malo or female, young or
old, should make an enemy OF butcher
boy. \ butcher boy is the most invent
i've and resourceiul OF boys. He is al
ways cheerful and always cheeky.
LILO can whistle in such way as to
DO heard for many shops, and his vim
dictivc and contemptuous "iah!" is
more penetrating than the voice OF n
file. Hell also M adept at bespatter-
ing with mud those who have offended
him. Ho can drive his cartiul OF legs
Of mutton and sirlolns Of beef within an
inch OF the curb so rs TO cover his
enemy with liquid street, and yet look
all the while like an unconscious
cherub in blue blouse. He is terribly
unforsiving, too, and is apt to wreak
his vengeance with the tough steaks
and chops he leaves SO innocently at
your door.
Therefore, in choosing your enemies
avoid selecting your butcher boy. But
do not, on the other hand, fly into the
opposite extreme, and make choice OF
your next door elderly vegetarian as
your sworn and most particular Toe. A
vegetarian OF mature age has often n
biting tongue, possibly because he has
SO little to bite with his teeth. Al
though he eats no meat yet he does not
always lay in great store OF tho milk
OF human kindness, and he can fire.
.quently be very sarcastic as he sits
grecdily over the disguised cabbages and
assembling potatoes that form. his daily
meal.
When avcgetarian turns hasty" his
rancor is apt TO partake OF the nature of
the green and guileiul crab. He is as
Hard to put up with as an early pea, his
insults are as difficult to swallow rs an
ill.cooked turnip. The penetrating
onion is not q greater adept at drawing
tears from the eyes than lie, and even a
too previously plucked tomato cannot
vie with him in acidity. Keep him
your friend. A very youthful child of
venomous temperament and observant
eye is q foe calculated to appal the
stoutest heart.
The. poet Wordsworth remarks some
where that children come from heaven
trailing. clouds OF glory" This may be
solemn truth or merely poetic license,
but certain it is that they possess an
unequaled power OF enveloping those
whom they do not love in trailing
clouds OF shame. An infant OF four can
make an archbishop regret his birth or
put q pope 10 confusion.
a fodder in rose colored ribbons,
deckcd out in the voluminous sausage
curls that SO majestically adorn the
small round head OF infantine inno-
cence, can with word dye the furrow-
ed cheek OF the hero OF hundred
fights with burning scarlet, or fill the
kindly heart OF the famous philanthro-
pist with 4 Herod like lust for numer-
ous murder. A babe has you at disad-
vantage, for your smartest retort falls
upon pink ea. dealer than the average
adder, and your rapier sharp rcpartee
gances from the muslin clad hide OF
nurses darling or mothers ''tootsy
wootsy" without intlicting the smallest
puncture.
Whatever indiscreet thing You NAV
do during the voyage OF life. never be SO
mad rs to rouse the luminosity OF sweet,
:slnless childhood" Fly in the face OF
prime ministers, ride roughshod over
the tendercst susceptibilities OF coun-
cilors. DEFY Mrs. Grundy, try to get the
last word with laxative shrew,,do
what wild things you list, but as you
value your peace OF mind always defer
to children under the age OF s. Be
kind to them. Otler them the frequent
sugar plum and you will have your re-
ward.