davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Many Odd, Curious. and Laughab'e
Phases of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our Own Day.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20

horses occupy the once regal stables,
and a small herd Of dirty goats dance on
the roof of the old ice-house. Never
was the work of time so pitiably re-
ala6
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
Papa FoiLeti,

Maud Charley and are the 1uckiest
people. You know, papa doesn't like
Charley, so to keep him away from the
house he bought big mastiff that he
turns loose in the yard every night.
Amy-Oh, isn't that dreadful
Not bit It's simply lovelyw
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20

Police Sergeant-Well. what has this
man been doing?
Officer O'Grog-Impersonatin' an
officer, sir. Whin I found him sittin'
dhrunk on beer-keg he said he had
just stopped there minute to tie his
shoestrings. -J11dge
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
On the RiaIto.

Romeo Ticounter (the greatest 1iv-
ing Guildenstern) -Prithee, who was
that gentleman to whom you bowed SO
politely?
Ragsby de Jaggs (of the Not In Tt
Combination That is the property
man of our company.
Property mani I faith took him
for Syndicate.
Exactly so. He is the rea1-estate
owner who gives bail when the mana
ger gets into trouble. Puck.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
But I DON'T

Why, you silly darling, Charley
owned that dog when it was a puppy,
and only sold it six weeks pos
tom Ne,Ds. -9e - 49,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
Medical Critics.

Mr. Snoball- "Whut I KANT under
stand about desc yere doctors is, whut's
de use oh desc yere post-mawtem zam-
nations. Whut does 20 t'ink oh dem,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
Flies.

@There are no flies on me-" said the
boarding house steak.
NO" replied the boarding house
butter, "fies would starve 10 death
while they were trying to get their
teeth through you"
"But look at the flies on you'll" retort-
ed the steak. why don't you run
away from them? I'm sure you are
strong enough. Brooklyn Eagle"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20

Mr.. Lilywhite-" Pears to me dey
must be fools. Dey might know it
wouldn't be no use to cut a pusson up
arter he's dead. Dey nebber cure him
den. M2tnsey's Weekly.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20
His Chief Attraction.

Harry Why did you shave off your
mustache?
Wilt found my best girl was get
ting too expensive, and have taken this
method of having her give me the
shake. Brooklyn Eagle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-08-20

just Like One of the Force.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
MASSACHUSETTS, NOTES.

The funeral or ex-senator Rufus Liver
more was held at Orange Saturday after
noon. All places of business were closed
and work of all kinds was generally sus-
pended i'm town. The services were held
at the Congregational church, which was
crowded, while hundreds could not get
nearer than the sidewalk.
John b. Chace Il Co. sold Saturday the
Orange Enterprise newspaper plant to ID.
l.. Crandall Mr. Crandall is an expert
enced newspaper man, has conducted a pa
per at Albany, y. Y, and has been con-
neCted with the Barre Gazette.
At Northampton Il. l.. Chamberlain and
Carl Burnett were arrested for the theft of
$40 from store in that place. Chamber
lain, who is tutoring for college, is to have
an inheritance of Sl,000,000 when he is %
years old
The Millers River bank at Athol, which
has occupied its new quarters a short time.
experienced a lockout Friday, the officers
being unable to open the safe.
Leonard G.. Cushman, hotel keeper at
Orange, has filed petition in insolvency.
The liabilities will reach $4,000.
Thomas McGrath, about 30, was struck
by an engine on a grade crossing at North
amptOn MOnuaN, ana instantly killed. lie
was driving two horses, one of which was
so badly injured as to make it necessary to
kill it.
DIR. j. A. Brackin's new four-story brick
block at Pittslield was totally destroyed by
fire early Tuesday morning. the fire origin
ating in the laundry of Van Allen II Tuck
er on the second floor. The building was
only completed last fall. The loss will
reach about S75 600 Two other valuable
blocks were saved only by great effort on
the part of the firemen.
The Northampton Gazette of this week
says: "The great flood Of Mill river occur
red II years ago, and a month ago there
was found in meadow in Florence a spool
of silk from VIM. SINNERS silk-mil at
SkinneTille. The outer layer of silk had
rotted and was weak, but the rest of it was
as strong as ever The wood of the spool
was considerably decavcd.'
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
HAWLEY.

u l-<C OullllS OlOliIo,
I-2C.
II 1-2c Satines, 6 lac.
CSC Ginghams, I9c.
25c Satines, I9c.
IL 1-zc Ginghams, Ioc.
10, 9 3-4,8 & &c Ginghams,
all 6 lac.
Lot of Standard Prints, sc.
Indigo and Mourning Prints,
sc.
II I-2c Colored Striped
Seersuckers, 1oc.
6 lac Cream Seersuckers,
&c.
IL I-2c Percales, 1oc.
IL I-2C Cretonnes, Ioc.
6 LAC Sicilians, &c.
10 & II I-2c Pineapple
Tissues, SC.
IS & CSC white ground
figured Mohair and Challies,
II I-2c.
II I-2c 80 inch American
Serge, Ioc.
All Spring and Summer
Wool Dress goods at a mate
rial reduction; 65, IS & 85c
Fancy Wool Suitings all go in
this sale at soc yard. Spec
ial prices made on Black Wool
Dress goods and Black Silks
during this sale. All our fan
cy pattern dresses at great
reduction. Prices cut on all
our White Dress goods.
Slaughter prices made to
clean out all odds and ends,
shop worn, soiled or tumbled
goods in every departmentand
on all remnants.
In Hosiery, Gloves, EN-
broidery and small wares,
there will be closing price
made on all broken lines and |
styles which are not to be
duplicated.
During this sale shall let
out a few bales, both bleached |
and brown CottOnS, a traction
under price.
That is sufficient to quicken
the sale of COttons, but when
we come to the Cloak Stock |
we don't speak of the reduc-
ton as a Fraction. 1t can
more properly be called a
slaughter. Have only 3 Silk
Wraps left:
a $22 one, now SII.
A $40 one, now $40.
A SIo.75 one, now $5.3S.
One very elegant Tan Rag
Ian, was SIS, now SIS.
One Silk Lansdown Rag
Ian was SIS, now $40.
Eighteen S. Jackets, now
S3.75.
Long Cleopatra Capes:
S22.5o one, now SIS.
SIS one, now $40.
$22.5o Redeem Coat, SIS.
Choice from $3.50 to $3.50.
$3.50 & $40 Jackets for SIS.
Have 8 or 10 heavy Jackets
suitable for cool evenings or
Fall wear which we carried
over from a previous season
and they have not high shout
ders. Original price was
$3.50, $3.50, $Io.5o, and one
SIS, all Offered now at $3.50
each. Here is intrinsic value
for you, and although not the
very latestest style, they are
good looking garments.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17

In describing his intimacy with President
Lincoln, Hannibal Hamlin once told an in
teresting story regarding his connection
with the emancipation proclamation. II
was always more radical than Lincoln, 9"
said Hamlin, II was urging him; he was
holding back on his problems. and he was
the wiser, probably, as events prove. |
desired to arm the blacks, and to issue the
proclamation sooner than he did, and was
always for urging. | was the first person
he ever showed the proclamation to. l saw
1t before he submitted it to the Cabinet.
He me me one day and said: Where will
you be this evenings Il am going out of
town, l replied, No, you are not sir. ;
Indeed | am, sir, unless you command me.
well, do command you. want you to
spend the evening with me at the Soldiers
Home. | met him at the executive man
sion, and we started to drive to the home.
As soon as we had started he drew from
his pocket the rough draft of the proclama-
ton, and read it over to me. Naturally [
was delighted, and told him so. He was
much moved at the step he was taking"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
Tn Dencit in st. Peters Pence.

The great subject of gossip at Rome just
now is the deficit in st. Peters pence funds,
which is said TO amount to upward of
$500, 900, of which at least $4,000 is
absolutely lost. Mgr. Folchi, the admins
traitor, has been made to resign his office,
and the accounts of the fund are being in
vestigated by a commission of cardinals
nominated by the Pope. Mgr Folchi is
reported to have lent large sums to many
of the Italian mobiles, nearly all of whom
are in serious pecnniary difficulties, and
very necessitous, so that they are unlikely
to be able to repay their debts to the Nati-
can. and the late administrator is accused
of having acted without due authority. 1t
is also alleged that some of the monsignor' 5
investments have turned out very badly
1t is known that the Pope is very much
worried over this deficit.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17

Commander-in-Chief Veazey arrived at
Rutland last night and was given an en-
thusiastic reception by the Grand Army
and Kingsley Guards. He will be the
guest of John y. Baxter until his depart
ure for Detroit.
During cyclone at West Superior, Wis,
yesterday afternoon, number of buildings
were blown down, including a hotel in
course of construction. OF 40 workmen
in the building at least five were killed and
Others were badly hurt.
The Fitchburg railroad pay train going
south over the MOnadnOck branch yester-
day afternoon ran into horse and car
riage at the Little Maloney crossing, two
miles north of East Jaffrey, " H., and in
stantly killed Miss Florence f. Taft of
Greenville and slightly injured Mrs. Asa S.
Raymond of East Jatfrey.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
IN THE LOCAL FIELD.
BELLOWS FALLS.
Fatal Accident at OsgoOd q Barker's
Foundry.


4 sad accident occurred Tuesday morn
ing at OsgOod ~ Barker's foundry, where
by their longtime foreman, Patrick Hack
eft. lost his life. Monday evening large
casting. weighing nearly two tons, was
made which was to be used when finished
for one of the heavy rolls belonging to a
paper machine. 1t was round, and about
ten feet long. Tuesday morning the men
raised the casting with the crane and chain
nearly to an upright position, one end rest
ing on the floor and the other end being
about five feet from the floor Mr.. Hackett
was at work at the end that was elevated,
TRYING to remove the core. He was stand
ing i'm front close to the end of the casting
when without warning the chain sustaining
it broke in three pieces, letting the casting
fall on him. He was caught beneath itand
fearfully crushed. He remained there till
another chain could be procured and the
casting raised again when he was removed
and taken to his home. He lived about an
hour The same chain which proved weak
at this time had often raised weight OF
three or four times the amount of this
casting and had been considered perfectly
safe. The day before it was used in rails
ing the flask and sand in which was CON
tanned this same casting, making a weight
of nearly double the amount upon it when
it broke. and the cause was somewhat in
explicable. Mr.. Hackett was a man thor
oughly respected and looked up to among
citizens of his nationality, He was thor
oughly conscientious man, of good judg-
ment, and ready to carry out his own con-
victons. He had been foreman of these
works nearly 20 years, and was held in high
esteem by his employers. He leaves wife
and seven children.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
wn.er,own CAME Market, July -.

Markct Beef a very few choice AZ sG0Od SO 50:
'Nrrn. S550GS5 rs: first quality. $1,000 IS 81 sec
ond quality, sL5OGS475; third quality, $4,000
SL25
store Cattle-Workng oxen. Z pair, S6O6Jl4
FancYCows. 5000; Mich Cows and Calves S25
GDis; yearlings, SSO09l6 two years old. $l2G22;
three years old, S2O@32
Swine-Westen fat live, ~ cts Northern dress
I'd hogs, fic.
Sheep and Lambs-In lots. g.. 60, 3.OOG3 so each;
extra. Si.OOdg5.O0, or from 2GD5l4 cts q H. Spring
Lambs i@G94c.
Veal Calves, 2dyGc. r n.
Country Hides, a 41sc. p 70. Country Tallow. ?
B216 c. Z d. Calf Skins, 81. y a.. Pelts. 5OGsl.
Zach. Dairy Skins 150,3oc each.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
Lady Macdonald an Author

just before her bereavement, Lady Mac
donald widow of the late Sir John Mac
donald, completed her first ambitious liter
airy effort in series of articles for the
Ladies Home journal. the first one of
which will appear in the August number
of that periodical. Last summer Lady
Macdonald, with party of friends, travel
ed in her private car through the most
picturesque parts of Canada, and in a de
lightfully fresh manner she describes her
experiences on this trip in these articles to
which she has given the title of IAN I'm
conventional Holiday \ series of beau
tiful illustrations, furnished by Lady Mac
donald, will accompany the articles
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
THE VERMONT PHOENIX, BRATTLEBORO, FRIDAY, JULY II

Miss Harriet Mead has recovered sufii-
cieltly to be ont again.
Miss May Stuart went Monday to Mia
CARA to visit her sister, Mrs. Walter Wilson.
Mr.. and Mrs. John c. Persons visited
in Simonsville last week.
4 special meet of the ladies' auxiliary
society will be held at the parish house this
afternoon.
The sidewalk ON the south side of Hen
ry street has been concreted from West
minister street to Hadley street
Miss Florence Locke is taking a months
vacation from her work in the millinery
store of Miss l.. A. Gates.
DIR. E. X. Campbell and family and Chas.
Robertson and family spent few days
last week at Lowell lake.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
MARKET REPORTS.

BOSTON. july IS. The hutter situation is about
the same as last week. There is, perhaps, little
more difference between first and second Quqlites
as the proportion of fine is getting smaller. but
the supply OF all kinds is ample for the demand
and buyers have the advantage. Trade is moi
active, by any means and some dealers call il
'lul hut pretty large quantity of butter in the
aggregate changes hands every week. Eggs
western, ia l1la cents. eastern. isLl9 cents
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17

Any article that has outlived
y years of competition and i'm
itation, and sells more and more
each year, must have merit.
Dobbins' Electric Soap, first
made in 1869, is just that arti-
Gle. Those who use it each
week, (and their name is legion,)
save clothes anu strength, and
let soap do the work. All that
we can say as to its merits pales
into nothingness, before the story
it will tell, itself, of its own
perfect purity and quality, if you
will give it one trial. Ask your
grocer for it. He has it, or will
get it, Try it next Monday.
N r There arr many imitation Elec-
trio Soaps in which electricity
plays no part. Dobbins is the original
one. all Magnetics, Electrics, and Electro
MaRcs are fraudulent limitations. Ask
for Dob6ins' Electric. see that our name
is on every wrapper, and II any other is
sent you by your grocer, when you ord,r
ours-SeRd Il back
l. l.. CRAGIN & co.
Philadelphia, Pa
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
Children Cry for Pitchers Castoria.

When Baby was sick, We gave her Castoria,
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When she had Children, she gave them castoria
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
LOUNGES.
Do You Want
A Good
Bed Lounge"

one that will make good easy Lounge by day
ana good comfo table double bed by mighty
Then try one of our Bed Lounges The best
lounge Ia tn market We also have COMMON
LoO NGtS from 5 LOO upwards Our $3.50 Plush
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17
WILMINGTON

samuel Streeter died at the home of his son.
George II, Streeter on Sunday morning. aged IS
years He had lived I'm town about p years and
was well known and esteemed citizen The
funeral was held ON Monday, Rev Mr. Skinner
ofnclatmg Burial in the village cemetery
O. o. Ware and family are at SIartha's VINEYARD
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-07-17

Little Baby Mckee on his gTandfather's knee
sat wrapped in profound meditation
say, gran pa, said he, lis it Russell or me
That's runnln' this glorious nationg"
Detroit Free Press
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1891-09-08

j
REORGANIZATION of points in a hog
thhr Is, most likely to become u good
f ,e,ber, lone that win carry his qdevelAa
meiit withihim'and that wilEfatten at
Says all exchange, is about
likenthiss MEDIUM SIZE, short legs,
fine iur medium bone, broad, straight
baGkgnedium length, good girth and
smooth head. Long legs and long
noses have gone. out Of fashion with
the best hog-raisers. ''2 ."1 haf'toF
hne lG1AV .fl.W A"Bn''.qI3 az ~
, Erank Baker, Of Marshall countyS
writes the Indiana Farmer
that. he hasltlneshed seventy acres OF
wheat. lie sowed eighteen acres IL
dorm with a,Qperhorse. corn drill holb!
ways, thre9foBGthsiof .a,,bes4el each
&aya.2dc off, September, thsyyield5 o
whichrwast4QQi bushels, pra,2S bushels
to the acre. Another field of 26 acrees
oats stubble,-plawea.-eHd--thoroughly
narrowed a hG+i0lIed, OH Which ho'put
p300 popRdt',ot- ;hone,meal7 withwheat,
/ ! bushels .jou the acre sowedT about
the Goth Of September, that yielded
10S5 bushels, or III bushels to the
acle,y Wh9 can beat tthatfi5 co salG3
AFTER the large cuts made by the
pruning saw have dried for few
weeks they should be protected by a
I doat ofgfafting wax, cement OF var
nish;' Common white paint is as good
ias anything, as it excludes the rain
yaid prevents cracking i'"'A-' '' \
! ooORdOr gatiud hiiW 135Fc1) l}D
| Fqy dchickenachol itgis etterte
usor Ia preventive than IA enre, and
alumi the drinking water is said to
| be ggita eiastiye. ralrgs1t Ga9d on
\ Plan 10 that the pigs can be fed TO q
I Reasonable weight and then marketed
Th6felis io advantage IN excessively
! Sdf .sG5S,II sbijI0 aauili p.al iii
( nheoInaiana Farmer says, for lice
Nothing is 50 good as q bath or WOOD
flashes and sulphur. Keep this ready
mixed and in dry place where the
] fowls cali resort to itiat all times,
lFalso sprinkle sulphur in the nests o.
sitting hens, and feed . little Of il IL
soAe food i$It will help the fowls5te
siiod tlIeslicee ,os1riU Lisq49ia is9ll
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1891-09-08

'lhMs 9;j1Gqttt If seJGfHs 1857 81 g *
nWb Aay nonl!,:W at3llfV :n9ii1
4stvg as&c yAq; 10 dffsAe nj
IGsfll can asaHos ole iioF ahSBest
uaya stade1ninsDf tiieoso&ld ahtDiftt
-gaadusfes ara, @illiagfaraHtAl bS'any
'E6Feigh &!po@eE. 3A'he 'ffien Sgh]AffBf
theab,aihy, 5ihcwyy,I energetic gogRgs
,felQwA rofd rhpli aboprgeoisie.g OGielal
stations! qreT oopsiaered lan.'honotto
anyone and, moreover, the offiGci3
are Well. l6n81gil eddGa4ad to, posstSs a
feeling Of The, warinaSt love aqfl coEa- {
Btty. Here again Balmaceda had to.
meet siltl and grit Brdte force and,
creed OF again! HThe resdit was not
bars, to, foRqscs, His 1trooPs fought
weLas long as thefqiwast a. manifest
I,adpa nth &c, Dbut2 R:hen Ii acame2t6,
Question of victory, dcsertioi, 'ot.death,
they weakened a aGn!a g. eRfPip93fw 92ggp4s
0ver,t9 the eIGplNi7n ger mods t.,tk
h. No doub, this experience will be of
benefit to Chill. For sometime itWili
feg unarr a ',bridfh OF debt lliEen the
| neighboripg -, Al'geAtine ggStat eiu but
when it cmerges it will have mon at
the helm who know the value of
moderation and integrity, and the
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-16

have been . long time away from nome,
on else mas allowed himself 20 lapse
about two weeks behind the times. Hls
picture Of Grand Rapids mlght nave
been considered passaoly correct some
time since, but things have changed
Al rrst there was widespread sympa-
my with the strikers. Their carry ais
were filled and many summed the
street cars. either from sympathy with
the strikers or from fear OF violence.
Since IL has been practically settled,
however, that the strikers were them
selves actual participants IN rioting and
violence, the sympathy. which was with
them at the start, has been turned into
condemnation, and the large majority
OF our law-abiding citizens will not
thank the Ex-senator for representing
this community as UNFOLDING lawiess-
ness. AS Mr.. wesselius 10 largely inter
ested in, and an active promoter OF rival
railway enterprise. bis uttersnces will
not carry much weight in this neck OF
the woods.
Telegram-herald., 1891-06-16
OUT OF TIE SWIM.


dis eicthes hang on hlm N naany q shred-
tie = oat q the swim;
H ussAs n1es sisa~sy wsta sail<a IseDr
he . cal OF tae swim
Re eats the dole tAst charity givsA
IL The ~flds Of nature alone ss ives
he sleeps meath heavens starry him
he Is cut q tie sslm.
Onc~ hs lad honor and THREADS, ban nov
He il cut Of TIE swim
Nen ecvetec thea bis lordly bow
he is o1t Of tue syfn-
There arc ncle 30 poor as 10 take bis hanA
And cal hira eFotasE IN Ell the land.
Bot they hasten 10 tara aside from aim
He 10 oct OF NE swim.
He has nothing 20 hold hin now 90 life
He Is out Of The swim
Neither friends nor fortune efsif nor wife
ho . cut Of the swim.
Thsro's nobody DAT himself 20 blsn.
His heart Is scared with resnorse ana shame;
Through his ogn uissAke-n0t fortunes shio-
lie Is CUT Of The swim
TIE uocniicet rests al . peaceful face
rs II out u The swim.
Deer God forgive ia Thy iaGnite grsoeE
lie IL oat Of he swim
Oct OF lifs's ma idcning roar and fret
Out OF temptations that SO eeset;
Coi, ho mads US will care for HIM
He is out OF the swim
-MrA n L. RaSne. IN Detroit Free PrssA