Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1891-10-31
WIT AND IlUM0ls.
Columbus tllonEiii ulse earth wns round
Ai.h In a. anta,. ~ aANn..I.

What ism moaopOl,? A corporation
In whick. other fellows hold. all the
tock.-ItGaS !Slttings.
A,wa!aI whcsi is usually modest on
Its travels. II prefers 10 so Souud in
cog. -Baitin,Oys -1aaercan.
A.''promising man" is mob always
theone- on wlbOm the mos. reliance
caprbe placed.-Los0sH Mil.
No. Gnbbinsr Won will ns~er be
brain worksr." 'Why not?" Haven't
got the lools."-Dunpttie Breeze.
Miss Hyars is realistic even to her
stockings" What do You meane"
1.-The vlDcks 9poa them ars, striking"
Lift
Tommr--What part Of speech is
swoman'a" Papa Woman Is no
part 81 speech ut MI. my sea- She is
the whole of h-"-Jady.
Iotling-''Why do people borrow
trouble So mueh?' Dimling - BE.
cause it isn1 necessary tc put up any:
collateral" y. san.
TAs' young man who goes West and
gets broke had better stay there. The
East has no tatied calf tc kill for such
Iprodigals--NeW Orleans Dcita.
Smithkins-.-Ilello. Doct What are.
yea doings Tho Trying to-,
kill time" Snithkins-''Why don,t.
you prescribe for him?'-PGcE.
Chicago is excited because four mes-
senger boys have been missing for the
last week. Perhaps they are answer.
ing calls in the suburbs. Washington.
Post
De Broker (sadly)t-"You seem to,
have dropped out OF speculation lnte..
w." De LOser-:'Yaas, betting on,
boss races now. It's safer."-N. L
Weekly.
Doctor ITO patie3t)-"How much
exercise do you take?" Old Tore Gun.
steadily about two fingers five OF
six or seven times day Washing
ton Star.
Bald-headed men will return. fnom4
seaside resorts when the theaters open
with comic opera people who will APP
pear on the stage in bathing dresses.
-Ftcayune.
"Well! II that isn't the meanesh
trick ! ever heard off, "lyhatp"
They have sent an ossi6cd man as q
missionary 10 the Cannibal Islands. -
indianapolis. Journal.
How is 1t that you are SO hale and
hearty at your age. Uncle John~ Il
guess it's because I've always been so
busy that never had time to attend to
my health. y. Press.
Have you read 'Tha Light that
Failedp" she asked the stocEholder in
the gas company. No" he answered.
and then he avoided her for the rest of
the evening. Washington Star.
Il hear that Lord Narlen is travel.
ing through this country incog." You
don't mean it?" Great Cesar! that
fellow must have the feeling of man.
Ashamed Of being Lordr-7ruth.
Van Pclt-"What stuff is that dark
hat made OFF" Dealer That is u
wool hat, sir; VIII; ?" Van Pelt-'I
didn't know but it was the darkness
that might be felt. "-CinciHnaG CO.
zette.
20, you thought you could carry
things with high hand, eh?" NO."
answered tho man who was caught
bluffing." Il knew very well that l
hadn't a high hand" - Indianapolis
Journal.
isn't Miss Flasher q college
graduatep" Maude - You would
never know it from her talk. What
makes you think SOP" Clara-"She
has such good taste in dress. "-Broos-
Ign Life.
links - waite would be a good
man to start q church. Filkins--
.'Why SOP" Jinks-''He has sisters
enough among our leading families TO
to start good-sized congregation."--
N. y Herald.
There is always something for every
man to be thankful for. Even the
calamity bowler is thankful. He Is
thankful that there is nothing In the
world for him to be thankful for
AtchisoD Globe.
Chapple (returning from the seaside)
"What is the mattah. deah boyf What
made you faintP" Cholly (feebly, but
happiIy)-'Fcund q quahtah in one Of
me pockets, oil fer-found quahtah."
m Y. Herald.
Miss Pearl White-'I wish you to
paint my portrait" Dobbins-"l'm
sorry, madam; but I can't do it."
Miss Pearl White-''Why note" Dob
h;ne ct navar oonv other nainkin0sn
Cincinnati Gazette.
Porter-"That Kentucky gentleman
refuses to occupy Room 44." Hotel
Clerk-"What's wrongP" There's
picture Of some fruit hanging on the
wall, and he says it makes his mouth
water. "-Detrod Free Press.
You are grossly intoxicated, Mr..
Mangle." "lknow it lovei but you
bid me when / started downtown