The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-02-15

the world in this way, and it is certain
Assemblyman Henry Puster;--el wonld
jump overheard
Al Datz:-'I would get drunk, lock
m yself In q room and turn on the gas.
Freebooter @. A. Pfingsten varied this
slightly by sayfng-*I would fill up, 20
to bed with the gas turned on, and wake
up in heaven"
Assemblynian Daily, who is now
wealthy like all Legislators, sald.-s.I
would drink champagne enough to do the
4 GOOD SEND OFF =
City Clerk Marty McDermott was com
fortably seated in his office at the Ho-
boken City Hall enjoying fragrant
cigar and apparently In the best OF health
and spirit when popped in and asked:-
Marty, how would you commit sui
eide II you were tired OF Hviugy"
What's that?p he gasped. How would
ther from my Thoughts" Aud Just
at that moment nothing was apparently
further from his thoughts. But, .
persisted, what do you think
would be the easiest and surest way of
ending your existence If you SO desiredsu
Wait until / have talk with Darcy
Kirschner,n he replied. Il think their adj
vice would aid me-
But want your own plan and how
you would carry it onts',
well, said he, laughingly, "IIl tell
yon what would do. l would tie myself
to the mouth of a cannon and then |
would surely get a good send off
Assistant City Clerk Kirschner thought
that suicide was very serious matter,
and did not attempt to argue with
him.
Said he:--sT would think the matter
over for weeks; would consult the best
authorities aud would make q thorough
study of how the different methods acted;
then, when had arrived at conclusion
would proceed to carry it out with due
deliberation. / would want death to be
instantaneous"
Police Commissioner Kaufman is one
Of the handsomest Of HoDoken's city off,
Gals, and is a good fellow at all times
When fired the question at him he was
taken aback. When he learned that I
had seen City Clerk MeDermott be
wanted to know how be would do the act.
A PRESENTABLE CORPSE
"Whatl' said he, when | told him that
the genial City Clerk would use can
non; II would like 70 be identified after
am dead, and would like TO make pre-
sentable corpse. / do not think that
there would be much left Of me If got in
front OF a good. healthy cannon"
But let me see. ne continued. what
woule be the best way? do not believe
in chloroform, as 1t takes great amount
of that drug to even make me lose nay
senses. | think that If ] were to commit
suicide would take nice, rusty reyol-
yer, put the barrel of it TO the back of my
right ear. and then let her flicker
Recorder McDonough had just disposed
about to leave the court room when in
terviewed him.
'tWell,' said he, In my experience
have had to deal with many persons who
have attempted suicide. They all have
appeared to adopt different methods,
with varying success. The average
would-be suicide displays great canning
and generally contemplates ais rash act
for months. Others do the deed on the
impulse of the moment. For nay part /
believe that the easiest way 10 commit
suicide. especially for a man who cannot
swim, is to go down co dock on some
dark night with couple az bricks in his
pocket and jump overheard.
PREFERS DOCK
Captain Hayes had seen men crawl in
to cellaa scarcely three feet high ana
hang themselves Others had hang
themselves with wire which had cut into
the flesh OF the neck until the head was
almost severed. OF course the Captain
laughingly added these are rather harsh
methods. and would be apt to steer
clear of them II wanted to
JILL en0 ELcdt uit4ot1ty ALu
not much OF a swimmer .xld / think if
jumped overheard that | could success
fully accomplish the Decd
Water Commissioner Quidore the great
cold water man did not have time he said
to think which would be the best way to
shuttle off the mortal. He thought, how
ever, that if he wanted to end his
life he would find way
to do it nice and slick.
Warden Osborne said he had no sym
pathy with suicides generally, but if he
ever were brought to that extremity his
choice of death would be poisoning by
morphine. lit is sure. simple and harm
iaQe ,; said ba