The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-02-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A welcome vls-a-vis-A $5 bill.
A cook book is the funeral service OF
the dumb reation.-Puch.
The worst thing in the mince pie is
the dream.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Courage is a hardy plant; it is never
destroyed by being "plucked up
Puck.
The Queen of England turns the
financial scales at 1000, OOO.-4Idany
Argus.
The world has never been what it
ought to be since the mince pie was dis
covered.-Ranas Horn.
Strange as it may seem, the more a
man goes around in the world, the less
cranky he becomes. Puck.
1t is not polite to pocket anything at
the table, unless it happens to be bill
lard ball.-NelO York Neus.
A sad sight in this world is to see an
old hen trying to plume herself to look
chic.-SeraRtoR Republican.
Highest grade of impudence-To wait
in an umbrella shop for shower to pass
over.-Donrer Field and barm.
81 foated out with the tide"-as the
best man explained when asked how he
came to have rice in his hair.-Pueb.
Teacher-''Can you tell me what a
secret is?" Little Girl--''Yes'm. 1t is
something somebody tells everybody else
in a whisper. ~ Chicaqo Ne,oS.
The latest achievement in modern sci
ence is that effected by the Old, Lady of
Threadncedle street in bridging over
Baring's Straits. london Jady.
Some men receive impressions after
the manner of a blotter. They get
things directly opposite from what they
were originally.-Bost0R Transcript.
yearn for you, my love, he sighed,
Can you my love returnr
swell, that depends" the girl replied,
"Just how much can you earnY
-SOmerUilie journal.
Lillie-"Oh, Minaie! have such
dear, unique fad. l have stuffed pill
low with all Chollys love letters"
Minnie-"How soft your pillow must
be. "-Ep0ch.
Benevolent Man --'If you are blind,
how could you see to pick up that half
dollar / droppedl" 3eggar-"My heart
has been made so light by your charity
that l can see by it.'-B46ato Express.
Scene, Newport-"How well pre-
served Lord Bawnbast isis he not
great swellW "Oh, yes with burst Of
confideuce). Do you know when he ar
rived he was obliged to pay duty on
himself as work of artE'-BJO0klyg
Life.
Pedestrian (turning suddenly upon a
tramp)-"See, here; you skip, or I'll
hand you over to the police. You're after
no good" Tramp-"Well, stranger,
now that have a good look at your face,
guess you're about right. ."-C Chicago
Nel0s.
"Please, sir, would you sec if you have
a letter for Marie Shirmeri" "A busi-
ness letter or love letter" "a bust
ness letter" "No, there is none to that
name" A quarter of an hour after
"Would it be too much trouble for yo
70 see whether there may not be
among the other lettersf'-Fliega
BtGetteF.
Young Noodle-"Did you say, Pa
fessor, that physiology was the sciei
that treats of the functions OF the bod
Profcssor-"Yes, sir" Y. N.-"TlN
under the head of what oloey wful\
study Of the mind Gomez P.I'I aw
afraid, Noodle, that in your case would
come under the head of mythology. -
Boston Courier.
"You have been fighting, my son,
said the alderman from the 'steonyh war
severely. eyes, sir, - replied the b
''fhe dirty little scoundrel ON the o
side Of the street told me you'd sgH :
vote in the Council any Sine for O.
dred dollars, and / ohuggod him one
the jaw" "That was right, my
said the alderman. ''One hundred
lars'-and he spoke with much.
and dccision-'' would Doe
tion. - Chicago Tribune