Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-03-27
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

There is vast difference between liv-
ing simply and simply living. st. Joseph
Neus.
Soldiers see great deal of private life,
but they don't enjoy it.-Pitts6urg Des-
patch.
The only man contented with his lot
occupies it in the cemetery. Indianapolis
Journal.
When it is an advantage to trade posts.
every army officer is ready to become
post trader.-Iegas Sytings.
Experience has established the fact
that lawsuits are more wearing on man
than any other.-Boston Courier.
She-"What would you like-being
naval man-for birthday gifta" He
ga little smack. ."-Drake's Magazine.
If smokeless powder is followed by
gunless bullets, wais of the future will
be made easy.-Neao Orleans Picayuaae.
The teacher whacked the boy, one day,
Who disobeyed the rule.
The scholars did not laugh or play
To see that lamm in school.
Harvard Ldnipoon.
Miss Burdy-ssYes, will be yours on
one condition" Jack Junior-"That's
all right. l entered Yale with six
Yale Record.
Mike-"Why do them false eyes be
made of glass, now?" Pat-"Shure,
an how else could they say throo 'em,ye
thick k-head?"- Yale Record.
After one girl has given you the sack
and another the mitten, it is time to give
up trying to gain your suit on the install
ment plan.-Hatyas Critic.
Hilow-sLook look here, Bloobum-
per, wouldn't be fool if l were YOU"
Bloobumper-'No; if you were me you
wouldn't be ool."-Epoch.
''Pa, what is an auction!" can auc-
ton, my son, is place where man pays
an exorbitant price for something he
don't want and can't use. "-Epoch.
Life drives us till we're out of breath
With striving begging giving,
We have to work ourselves to death
Chicago Post.
tsSuggest motto for my new business
venture, will you, Miss Agnesa" "What
is the business2" ga dairy farm"
"Then suppose you take'let well alone"
The Jester.
pect to derive any benefit from being
elected an honorary member of the foot
ball team?" Prettiwit-"He'sa doctor. !"
Chicago Ne,cs.
Wibble-"Yes, I believe in the Office
seeking the man." Wabble-'I notice
that it usually has to seek the boy. At
least that is the case in my office. y
Indianapolis Journal.
A book agent-he came inside;
He stuck to the man like glue,
But spite of all hints and mods and winks,
Never LETT till he got threw.
-Chicdgo Globe.
Giles-sI'm glad let that fellow have
the small loan. He seemed overwhelmed
with gratitude and said he could never
repay me-" Merritt-''That was strange.
He told you the truth. - Chicago Meas.
sYou are the light of my life," she
said to him as she told him goodnight
at the front door. ''Put out that light,
srowled her father ut the head of the
stairs, and the front door slammed
Washington Star.
s'Let us see, cynic is a man who is
tired of the world, is he not2" the young
language student asked. "No, no, my
child, +" replied the knowing tutor. "A
cynic is q man of whom the world is
tired. Mil,oauiee Sentinel.
The optimist sees but the roses of life.
The thorns meet the pessimist's view
But the sensible man with an eye 10 tue
facts
Notes and knows how to handle the two.
-Paitddeipiia Press.
sT see that in the preface of your
book you say that it is written to fill a
long-felt want What do you mean by
that2" eWhy, I've been needing u
square meal for the last eighteen months.
Don't you call that a loag-felt want =
Gsicdgo Nesos.