Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-02-25
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

TEA-TABLE SALAD.
THE SAME OLD STORY. Egg ptian trav-
eller Tin Rome, 1000 years agol-'Aw,
va-as, this is all very fine; but you have
no antiquities here, We know .'-Puck.
did the grocers make anything on
sugar." asked Lamkin. eyes," said
| Broker Margin, "those who had any
sand did. '-Bost0n Bulletin.
s'To what do you attribute your Ion
gevity ?" asked an investigator of a
centenarian. ITO the fact that [ never
died." was the conclusive reply.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
FIRST STRANGER-"Slow,is isn't it?"
Second Stranger-"Yes, very"
Lets 90 home"
81 can't. I'm the host. "-TerGs SJt-
ings.
''YoU have head on you this morn
ing, haven't you, dear ?'' inquired his
wife kindly. Gigantic" he groaned,
"Jagontic," she echoed, and left him
with it Washington Star.
II THOUGHT her heart was broken
when her husband died?' g o it was.
tying it with knot. philadelphia
Times.
THE difference between modesty and
bashfulness is, of course, that you are
modest, while the other fellow is bash
ful-and how ridiculous it looks Som
Grille Journal.
81 DO not sink re Anglish melodee-
man. "Why not" 'sVy not? For
because it babbe along not easily. You
have no belief? Just hear me how [
spik ''-Harper's Bazar.
Mrs. BRowN-''I don't half like that
friend of yours-that fellow Smith,
Mr. Brown--"Do you think you are
very good judge of men, my dear -
Mrs Brown with impression NO., |
do not. "-NeaU York Herald.
"STRANGE thing how Winks ever got
gleby "Why, the only decent thing he
has gotten off all the evening is his $50
overcoat, and he owes his tailor for
that. '-Sh0e and Leather Reporter.
SAMBo-''What did de doctah say allied
yer mostly, Bill?" Bill-"He lowed
dat I had a confagration oh diseases.
Fust, de salvation CLANS don't insist my
Indigestion; dat makes torpedo liver,
sose I'm liable to go off any minute. y
Teas SJttngs.
POLICEMAN (excitedly to boy on the
fence utside)-"What's going on in
there, Johnnie? Having a war dance
|
Johnnie (composedly) -"Nope. Only
mann insistin' on dad spendin' his even
ms at home. - Washington Star.
Glow is your friend doing out Gin
Helena, MONTH"
ooh, he's carrying everything before
him.
Good; what business is he in?"
''He's a waiter in a restaurant. y
Minneapolis Times.
| AIIRTH is catching, so they say,
| My wife takes things the other way,
| When l am sober she Is gay;
| And vice versa, strange to say,
When get jolly
| She's melancholy.
CLIENT am here now" the Rev. POin
dexter Cranberry remarked from the
pulpit, "an' some pussons likes to deny
themselves certain things; but brudders,
faint no self-denial to glib up putin
money in de plate an maxim yoh pastor
glib up ebberting case he has ter. .
Ne1v York Herald.
"GREAT heaven, Fwed," said Cholly,"
"don't YOU smell musk ?'' "Ya-a-s, ba
Jove. Isn't it horwible to think of any
body's distributing smell like that and
not get arwested ?'' "Indeed tits. Let's
get some thiggawets and see if we can't
fohget the horwid odah. - WASHINGTON
| Post.
IT is a mistake to suppose that a
woman's head is turned by new bon
net-unless the bonnet happens to be on
some other head than her own.-BOston
| Transcript.
''THEY say Sardou's Thermido' is
pretty fiat. "
"Wen, it ought to be. The whole
French government has sat on it,
NeW York Herald.
ANY Man CAN Do IT.-Goldbags Qook-
ing at the tenements) -"Alas 1t must
be very hard to be poor" Wentman-
con the contrary, its confoundedly
easy to be poor. "-Americo's Grocer.
FIRST Gun CARTR1DGE-'I'm going to
QUIT my position suddenly some day,
and without warnlng" Second Gun
Cartridge-"Because you know you'd
be discharged if you remained. THE
Weeks Sport.
GoLDBAGs Cooking out at the ten
ements) -"Alas 1t must be very hard
to be poor" Wentman-"On the con-
trary, it's confoundedly easy to be
poor. "-Americd1e Grocer.
THE world has never witnessed such
wild scramble for offices as there will be
if the bill to create the Office Of beer
inspector i'll towns of over 5000 inhabi-
tants is passed by the Missouri Legisla-
ture.-Kansds City Star.
/ BoBBINs- "What makes old Bullion.
the millionaire, dress so shabbily ?"
Robbins -"Pride of station" "How's
that?" He's afraid of being mistaken
for clerk. "-New York Weekly.
DETECTIVE CATCHEM-"How did you
ever get a confession from Tough
Tobles?" Detective Quizem-'I gave
him Connecticut cigar, and after he'd
smoked it he thought he was going to
die and told me all he ever did. But
falo Express.
CoUNTRYMAN Tin book store)-"My
wife wanted me to get her some good
magazine to read"
Proprietor-"Ye s, sir; how would the
| Century Magazine do?"
/ Countryman-"G Gosh, no She wants
a monthly magazine. '-Teras SJtimgs.
Cook TO the laundress (for whom she
| Lii L. ssIl; ]