Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-03-29
HIS BLOOD PURIFIER.
But tho Human Race Didn't Want to BE
Purified Too Much.

| But tho Human Race Didn't Want to Be
Purified Too Much.
A dilapidated looking old man, who
was chewing sassafras root with great
energy, suddenly appeared in the wait
ing room Of the Erie depot across the
river ard as he approached a man who
was waiting for a western rain he pulled
bottle of liquid from an old sachel in
his hand and said:
MY friend, you are looking yaller
about the eyes, which is a sure sign that
your blood is in a bad state. One bottle
of my blood purifier will restore you to
health and vigor."
Don't want it, sir" was the curt
reply.
IAN right, mister, all right. II a
teller wants to keep on looking yaller
about the eyes when a pannycea is ct
hand that's his own business. Long
bout the middle Of April you'll be on
your back with a spell Of bilious fever,
but you needn't lay it up agin me-"
The next person approached was a Sc
we're looking woman about thirty-five
years Of age, who was probably an old
maid
Them yaller streaks at the corner of
your mouth denote a torpid liver,
ma'am,' said the man as he gave the
bottle shake. ''Suthin' right here to
improve your looks so per cent. in two
weeks"
"Sir" she demanded, in icy tones.
"Only fifty cents a bottle, ma am, and
made right in my own house, from herbs
and roots gathered by my own hand.
Just opened the spring campaign, and
the price is only fifty cents a bottle"
go away, sirp she commanded loudly,
Don't want any, ehY'
mo, sirl''
"All right, madam-all right. Torpid
liver may be a good thing to have about
the house, but | don't think so. Here's
your pannycea, and if you don't want it
can't compel you to buy it."
The third person was a man with a
marked redness Of nose and rough spots
on his face. He was busy with a news
paper when the old man approached and
/ said:
Zone bottle win cure that nose, or
money refunded"
WHAT What's that?' demanded the
man.
And the second bottle will cause
every rough spot to disappear, though 1t
would be safer for you to take a third.
Three bottles for $1.25, or fifty cents for
a single bottle. | war
Look a-here, you old reprobatei What
are you driving atY' exclaimed the pa
tient as he stood up.
Il am selling a blood purifier, made of
roots and herbs. It's little early, per
haps, but l want to get the start Of the
buckwheat scratches. Are you drink
ing manT'
"Do you mean to insult me to my face
sir? Why, I'll punch your head for a
cent?
1T wouldn't do no good, mister
Here's the only genuine blood purifier
in market, and last year | sold 1000
bottles of it. Invigorates the liver, tones
up the blood, and if can't cure that
nose of yours l don't want a cent"
I'm purify you, you old assassin
shouted the man, and he was peeling of
his oyercoat to do it when the depot po-
liceman came up and told the old man
he must 90 out.
"And not sell a bottle Of my blood
purifier in this crowd?" he asked.
Come, out you go!"
"And you don't want bottle for your
self? You've got jandice look, and this
ere stuff will knock the jandice into a
cooked hat in just five doses"
He was led out, and told not to re-en-
ter the depot; but he stood at the door
and said to the policeman through the
glass window:
"All right, officer, all right. If the
people don't want my blood purifier they
needn't have it. It's the season to purify,
but | never go sgin the law. and if there's
a rampage of bilious fever next spring
don't say wasn't around with my pan
nycea at regular price. New York Sun