Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-10-24
AN EGOTISTICAL EPISTLE.
Boss Wells is Not at All Slow
About Putting Himself.
A sample Of Vain Glory OF Which It
Wouid be II ificnlt to Find Far.
aIlel-How ~, Do Tbipgs.

Would be Dinicult to Find Far.
aIlel-How ~, Do Tbing..
II Mr., Wells does not get the reputa-
ton of being a model postmaster it will
not be the fault of Mr.. Wells himself.
As matter of course it does not make
any difference to the public in general
what kind of a postmaster Mr.. Wells is,
so that the government tailor at WASH
ington is satisfied, and that he may be
satisfied, he has called upon Mr.. Wells to
write up little account of himself and
how he does things. The latter has complied
with the suggestions of his superior, and
the result is about as remarkable parcel
of egotism as could be put together.
As an apology for the boss vain
glory thus expressed, the Union
makes the strange confession that the re-
port followed the postmaster generals
public flattery of Mr.. Wells methods and
before, in fact, he knew them. and in
which the Rock Island Office was termed
"a model Office" But without dwelling
at any length on the unfortunate revela-
ton that Rock Island should have merely
come in for the praise so freely bestowed
by Mr.. Wanamaker on all his political un
der Office holders and that the stereotyped
application, "a model Office" was no
particular distinction after all
the public will be apt to devote its atten-
ton with more or less interest to POST
master Wells personal report" which
the Union has come SO mysteriously into
possession of. To the mind of the aver
age citizen it would appear strange that
a citizen holding public Office should
deem it necessary to explain that he had
given the Office. "close personal attention
as without that, no business can be a
success, aud l have 10 oked on the post.
office as being my business during my
term, and not side show" But there
are a few other quite entertaining little
passages in the boss personal epistle of
which the public should not be disprived
the privilege of reading, and hence they
are reproduced in THE ARGUS in the most
condensed form:
Il have now eight carriers with from
two to four deliveries per day, which
are made promptly and 10 the emit,
satisfaction of the public"
Il have my carriers. in the business
part of the city. make two collections at
night. one at Z for all mails going
south and west, and one at 8 for
trains going east
Il use Brsdstreet's Commercial Report
to find firms where letters have been
missent to Rock Island. 1t seems that
when a man begins to write the name of
town beginning with "R," he puts
down Rock Island. Nearly all these
letters can be delivered by using Re
port. Where letter is directed 10 a
firm not in Rock Island and they cannot
be found in report, 1 return them to the
sender. explaining that no such firm is in
this CITY,"
Il use the telephone to find how mail
trains are for time, and if they are too
far behind the carriers are sent out with
the mail on hand"
Il pay of 10 railway postal clerks, and
do not hesitate to ask for all the informal
ton l want on the suhjsc of sending Iet>
tiers. They are SO well posted that they
can be of great assistance to the postoff1 ee,
and find them very accommodating
Il try to make the money order system
popular. and am glad to say that the bus
mess is increasing all the time; more for
eign orders are issued than ever before
and the public are pleased with the con-
duct of the money order department To
make postofice popular the postmaster
must study to please the public"
In conclusion the boss has one of his
funny attacks. and this is what strikes
him as fitting finale of business post.
masters report to his superior, on how to
run public Office:
PAY particular attention to the kick
ers.' for they can tell postmaster lots OF
things he doesn't know-be prompt in
answering rquiries-e9uallY as prompt
in looking up lost letters, parcels, money
orders, postal notes, etc. If he does a!
this and the public are still dissatisfied
be had better resign, land go"-not west
but south, where if they don't like post
master they will kill him."
After residing MIR. Wells remarkable
letter it is just possible to imagine tha
Rock Island would not have suffered tc
any considerable ex:ent if the author hat
begun his public career in the sunny
chimes of which he writes so intelligently