The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-07-28
FUN FOR CLERKS.
Some Curious Things That Liven Up tho
Monotony OF Onlco Work

but my own experience Is that events
more interesting. if not thrilling, are
met with every day in such CONNER.
cial quarters" said tho clerk 70
Washington Star reporter.
There is a man in the employ of our
firm who. is a thoroughly picturesque
character. He Is rarely quite sober,
and yet never otherwise than jovial and
with entire control Of his wits. 1t Is
only In occasional unconventionalities
of behavior that he bctrays tho effects
OF alcohol About three months ago be
remarked to tho janitor Of our building
an important functionary who has
charge OF all tho furniture and other
equipments of the rooms tn ut he was
dissatisfied with his desk and wanted
another one. The janitor failed 70 re-
spond to the demand. and Mr.. Wilkins
repeated it on three subsequent oo-
casions in the mildest possible way,
though without result
"One day last week Wilkins came
into the Office after lunch. bowed TO me
smilingly as he passed my door, and en-
tered his own room, which he occupies
with one other clerk. Presently heard,
the most astounding racket from that
quarter, crash following crash, and,
looking around the corner through his
door, beheld him engaged in making
series OF running leaps from the
farther end of his apartment, landing
each time with both feet upon his desk.
lie Is large man, weighing probably
two hundred and twenty-five pounds,
and at each jump tho desk perceptibly
XVGal{anRn yx-nc fob s.t, ,~.1I
fair, and presently both legs ut one end
broke short off in response TO On attack
of unusual impetus The other clerk
was In the room ut the time, and he was
writing away at the desk Immediately
adjoining as if nothing whatever out Of
the way was happening.
II rctreated to my room, and min
ute later out strobe wilkins with his
hat on An hour later-his work takes
him much out of doors-he came back.
bowed cheerily as he passed my door
and entered his own quarters Almost
Immediately there was the same I'M
earthly racket as before. peeped, and
saw that the desk was Standing on
two legs, the high end against the wall.
and Wilkins was taking running Jumps
Mt 1t from the other side Of his apart
ment lie said nothing. but simply
went at 1t as II it were an ordinary eS.
ercise Of gymnastic nature. while the
clerk at the next table scrubbed away
and appeared TO pay no attention what
ever. Finally the two remaining legs
gave way. first one and then the other,
upon which the destroyer put on his hat
and again took his departure
at was two hours this time before
he returned. nodding pleasantly as he
passed my door, and again the racket
was resumed 1t was kept up longer
this time, and when looked saw him
glcefuny kicking the fragments which
had composed the table top around the
room There was not a piece Of the
desk left that was moro than O foot
long. The other clerk was still writ
ing as before. Finally Wilkins paused,
as if out OF breath, and Just then the
janitor came through the hallway.
"'Towels,' remarked Wilkins, gently.
addressing him, i asked you TO remove
this desk some days ago, because I
didn't like it. Oblige mo by doing so
now
80 the janitor brought his broom,
swept up the fragments and took them
away. / never saw a desk moved In
that way before. but It seemed to be
much easier than tho usual fashion.
Wilkins has another one now; It Is the
best in the office.
"But that Is nothing to little cx.
pcricnce had with a Boston cores
pendent of our firm, who came on here
for business consultation. When he
first arrived ut the office he was not
visibly affected by stimulants, but In
the course Of long conversation.
which was necessitated between him
and myself by his errand. he went out
so frequently for drinks of brandy that
his remarks became progressively I'M
Ineligible. / knew II was brandy,
because the smell of It Is agreeably
familiar to me, though do not care for
it at secondhand. and he did not once
invite ne to join his potations.
incidentally to the task we were
striving to execute It was necessary for
us to look over certain advertisements
in great many newspapers / I'M
folded them one by one, while he
breathed over my shoulder. and, as fast
as they were finished with. thrust them
under my desk until the entire space
beneath was crowded with copies of
the Evening Star, and other dailies
from Baltimore, Philadelphia, New
York. and elsewhere. At this time the
Boston correspondent had become so
mingled as to his ideas that had
difficulty in making much from what
he said lie lighted fresh cigar from
o lot of them he had in his pocket with.
out offering me one, and, busy as was
with making notes. | did not observe
that he dropped the match. still lighted,
beneath my besl.
'.The first thinn I knaSx 1uas TINT