The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-10-21
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

| Cynical Friend-Just tie a string tC
your ankle and 20 as a captive bal
loon.
| A Nebraska editor was struck BY
lightning last week and severely shock
cd. He likens the sensation to that
produced by subscriber paying cash
in advance.
Stranger (to the sexton)-This is a
very large nglegation; what draws
such crowd? Sexton (whlsper-
ing with his hand to his mouth 1t
doesn't cost anything to get in.
Sir John Lubbock says the average
age Of ants is only thIrty-fve days. The
sluggard who goes TO the ant will be
likely TO return with fixed opinion
that industry Is not conducive to long
evity.
Kindhearted Lady (to tramp eating a
dinner she had given him)-What aw-
tul trials you must have, my poor man.
Tramp (between the bites Yes, mum,
and the wust Of it is that always gifts
convicted.
The Bancroft Journal reports the
arrival Of "a l00-pound girl baby" in
the family of a prominent citizen. The
intelligent cOmpOsitOr is evidently the
father Of ninety pounds Oflt.-KdNsas
Oily Star.
Maggie's Ingenious Theory: Eight
year-old Maggie TO her stepfather, who
is popular with the children)-I wish
you had been here when our other pa
pa was alive. You would have liked
each other so much.
How grateful we are-how touched a
frank and generous heart is for a kind
word extended to us IN our pain! The
pressure of a tender hand nerves a man
for an operation, and cheers him for the
dreadful interview with the surgeon
fhackeray.
Genial Old Gentleman Ito nice look
ing little boy whom he meets in the
park)-GoOd morning. my little man
| have a great mind to give you my
blessing and kiss. Little Boy (indig-
nantly)-If you do, I'll hit cher in the
jaw.
Verify Il Is: Our friends are return
ing from the summer resorts BY the sea
side. We rented a cabin on the bank
Of Billy Webb's millpOnd, which is all
our means would allow. Cheapness
with cheerfulness isgreat gain.-Smith-
riIle Keios.
Mr.. Bell confirmed bachelor)-How
time does fly, Miss Darlington. 1t has
actually been ten years since you re-
fused me on this spot. Miss Caring
ton (who wishes she hadn'tl-So long
as that? Twas young and foolish then,
Mr. Bell. Mr.. Dell-But we arc both
older and wiser now, aren't We?
Bobby-Maw, what's the matter with
that hlrse across the street? Mother
He IS balky, my son, and won't obey
the driver Bobby But what does the !
man keep patting him for? Mother r.
He is trying to coax hIm to 60 on. Bob
BY with an injured air)-Maw, that
amt the way you treat me when | am
balky.
Clerk-Mr. B., I wish to speak to
you on an important matter. Mr.. B.
Don't bother me. Clerk-But | must
say Mr.. B.-Go way to your work,
/ say. Clerk-But | want to ask your
consent to marry Miss Bessie. Mr.. B.
Oh, / thought you wanted your wag-
es raised. Take her, my boy, and God
bless you both.
At the Dinner Table: Tommy (who
is forbidden to speak at meals)-Ma,
do you know Mother-No talking.
my son, till your father his finished the
paper Five minutes later Well. !
Tommy, what is it you want to say?
put the custard on the
pantry table to cool and l saw the old
cat and her kittens eating it up.
The Truthful Burglar: Magistrate
Ito new policeman)-And you saw no
suspicious character about the place
Policeman-Yer honor, / saw but wahn
mon, and | ask him wOt he moght be
doin' there that tonne o'nIght. Says
he, Il have no business here at prisent,
but expict to open a joolry sthore near
here before long" At that Gays. 81
wish you luck, sor." Magistrate-Yes,
and he did open Bucks jewelry store
that same night and stole $500 worth
Ofgoods. Policeman (after rehection)-
Faith, the rascal may have been a thafe,
but he was no loiar.
"And they cruci6ed with Him two
thieves" Have you ever considered
why, in the accomplishment of the
numbering among transgressors," the
chosen should have been
thieves? Do you observe
how the sin of theft is again and again
indicated as the chiefly antagonistic one
10 the law Of Christ? "This he said,
not that he cared for the poor, but be-
cause he was thief, and had the bag"
of Judas) And again, though Barab-
Das was leader ofseditlon, and muir
lerer besides yet St John IN curt and
conclusive account of him fastens again
)n the theft: 'Now Barabbas was a
'Obber." / believe myself the reason to
be that theft is, indeed. in ITS subtle
orms, the most complete and excuseless
# human crimes. Sins Of violence US
ially have passion toexcuse them; they