davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

SuneerS dn the restaurnn:l-Didnt You or
der soft boiled eggsf | thought you couldn't
bear them.
Niekleby- Neither can |, old man. But
they II he frieaseed chicken by the time the
waiter gets them here Lawrence American.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

Yabsley-Timmons has rather cut
YOU out with Miss Hepley, has he not2
Nudge -tiucss he has. I'll get even
with him, though, and-don't-you-
forget III
Nabsley-How?
Mudge-I owe him sea III nsvs8
pay him.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
Proof Of rur. MIX.

GueSt-waiter, there's dead fish In this
milk
waiter-Co's dey Is, boss. OATS sho sign
dnr haint enough watah in dat milk fer him
10 live on. W Washington Star.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

Mrs. Hillaire- Your husband is the most
uncomplaining rnau ever saw.
Mrs Bergen Yes, He SAYS that he never
saw a lounge that was comfortable until he
met with the accident that broke his back
New York sun
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
Ought to he Used to It.

market woman skinned eels alive.
you cause thusc poor beasts much PAIN"
remarked a sympathetic passer by.
'.one might think So was her answer,
''but as | have been at this business some
twenty years do not doubt they are well
used 10 il hy this time. ~ Philadelphia Times.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
WILL FLY TO EUROPE.
AN AERONAUT CLAIMS TO HAVE
SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
Tbe Trial Trip of "a small BALLOON
80 show How Easy % ts for wtad
and Hot Air 60 Furnish a Good
Motor Power.

UAKER CITY gem
ia is not generally
credited with eff.
for,s in the right
direction OF rapid
transit. but lnyen-
tor Charles =. Fest
has just completed
a most curious ma
chine al his home
In Germantown, u
suburb OF Phila-
delphia. IL ~ a
cruss between "a
balloon and air
ship. says the New
~ .. a.nl
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
u,. Principal Occupation.

Judge Ito tramp What is your occupa-
tionF What do you dol
Tramp Nothin yer honor.
Jndge-Wsil, what have you done mostf
Tramp-Time, yer honor.-The Lawrence
American
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

What il drought Mr. Symons, the
English n,eteorologist, world have three
kinds or degrees oI drought recognized and
precisely defined. A period Of fourteen or
more consecutive days without rain should 10
termed AN absolute drought, enc OF twenty
eight or moro consecutive days, with ram
fall not exceeding quarter OF an inch,
should TO called partial drought; and at
least sixty days, with not over two inches ot
rain, should be long drought. t.-scientltic
American
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

Sappy-Yaas, aw, doncherknow, IL there,
aw, is anything |, aw, love, It is aw, calves
hwalns!
Miss Pert 20, the canniball-L.awrence
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

Binkey-whar do you call iti | shot it all
mys.lf ovnh IN those woods
McScoggin Cthe guidel-why, pard, that's
a cariboui didn't allow you'd sit one 50
quick hut IN bother yer fer that twenty
five dollars yer promised me fer tn first one
ketched. Frank Lesiies Illustrated News
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
NO. 81.


s'Cientlsmsn, what Is your verdietf' asked
his honor In n western court ROOM
"Wal, y responded the foreman Of the jury.
afievcn on us wants 10 hang the prisoner, but
the twelfth man sticks ~ il be amt guilty,
spite Of ali W. cau say - bein a. the twelfth
man Is a no account TELLER, anyway. in orsier
Ia make tho verdict unanimous, we've con-
clude.l to hang 'slu both. n-Exchange.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17

Marion Harland says that the coming
v,au,aa viii have her own bank account
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1891-10-17
In A BIG STOCK YARD.
WHERE THERE IS LOTS or FUN
AS WELL AS BUSINESS.

Piaying the Wild Steer Joke--A Lesson
la Yeiling-Transferrins stock fro,a One
Pen Co Another Hospital for Iajured
Caftle.
The critic., 1891-01-23

A PEW NIGHTS AGO the occupants of
boxes in the New York Metropolitan
Orera-House were surprised by the APP
pearance of the following notice, printed
ON cardboard and placed in each box:
JAN. Is, 1891.
Many complaints having been made TO
the Opera-House of the annoyance pro-
duced by the talking in the boxes during
the performances, the board requests that
it be discontinued.
BY Order of the Board of Directors.
Il seems, also, that on the same evening
the management endeavored TO promote
the desired consummation by producing
'I.Africaine They did so, doubtless,
en the theory that the audience might be
more willing to stop talking If they were
supplied with music that they cared to
listen to. The trouble is, however, that
the sort of troupe one engages to interpret
Wagner Is not the sort of troupe that can
interpret Meyerbeer. In one case they are
expected to rccite and lntone in the other
they are compelled TO sing. Thus the
performance Of "L'Africaine" was de-
scribed in the papers next morning as
having been unsatisfactory and made
Iuate, only two or three of the artists re-
ceiying any sort of commendation. We
fear that, so long as the management con-
linue 10 afilict the Metropolitan audiences
with Wagner music and Wagner COM
panies, the audiences will continue TO
seek relief in conversation, They go to
The opera-house because they have paid
for their boxes, and because II is the
fashionable thing TO do; but they are only
human after all, and they must draw the
limo somewhere.
The critic., 1891-01-23

EDITORIAL PERSONALS.

How David b.. Hill will miss being
called by that endearing title, "Whisky's
GOVERNOR r!n-Ncw York Tribune.
Mr., Bancroft was never cassed as n
genius, but he had the greater merit of be.
ing hard worker. lie accomplished
much that is of value, and earned univer-
sal resrcct.-IiHsbuig Dispatch.
If the silver men are real cute they will
promise Mr.. Harrison to put his portrait
ON the free coinage dollars in place of the
Goddess of Liberty. Houston (Tcr) Post.
1t is our painful duty to acknowledge
the receipt from some anonymous enemy
of Life of Benjamin Harrison" by the
author of "Thc Fair God" "Ben Hur"
and other romances; eight volumes; mus
lin; Indianapolis 1888; unknown to
Lowndcs Chicago Nc,Cs.
Colonel Bill Morrison's Presidential
boom appears to be in the possession of
Congressman Sayres of Texas, and there
Is nothing to indicate that it is likely ever
TO escape from him.-S. LOniS Globe. Den,o-
crdt.
New Hampshire has had a severe attack
Of earthquake. With her stomach over
loaded as it is with billchandlerism, it is
not strange that the old State should retch
and heave. She has thrown up Blair, but
that is slight relief in comparison with
that which still remains. LouisyiHe Cour-
ier Journal.
President Eliot of Harvard is arranging
to come West for an extended trip. He
gives no intention of delivering any free
trade lectures. The visit is mainly for
pleasure. He will probably start the lst
of February Cincinnati Commercial Ga
-etfo.
David b. Hill has been elected to sue
ceed William NJ. Evarts Look upon that
name and upon this. The outgoing SEN
ator of our foremost Common wealth is an
accomplished statesman, generally recog-
nized as such at home and abroad. The
incoming Senator, on the contrary, is a
politician of the most unscrupulous school.
Assuming that nature abhors an anti
climax as she does vacuum, then GER
tainly to follow Evarts with Hill is un-
natural. Al all events il is indefensible.-
NeO Io,R Tribune.
Secretary Noble declares that he is in
favor of making the Sioux work for a
living, "as white people are doing" This
is the sensible and practical view of the
matter. Thepolicy of supporting Indians
| in idleness has been thoroughly tested,
| and the result is n miserable failure. Now
| let the opposite policy have n fair trial.
| and see If II will not prove more success
| ful.--S. Louis Globe Democrat.
Governor Pattison has taken the earli-
est opportunity to urge the adoption of
the reformed ballot system by the State of
| Pennsylvania. The action of this Demo
cratic Governor is refreshing contrast to
the stolid refusal of the Republican party
of the State to adopt any law which shall
make elections free and fair.-New YoI
| World.
The critic., 1891-01-23
Glover Club Racket.

HFOM Wt CNtCuDO NctUS.
Congressman All ZEN of Mississippi regaled
the Clover Club last week with some
amusing illustrations of the qualities
manifested by Major Moses p. Handy
when he was in the Confederate service.
He said that Handy was remarkably val
orous of speech but equally inconstant in
action; brave enough before battle, he
would not stand fire-he fled inconti-
nently at sight of the Yankees. Finally
the captain of the company took Handy
aside one day and said to him very sternly:
Handy, you come of q good family and
] like YOU for many admirable qualities;
you are undoubtedly loyal to our cause,
but you have not yet been known to stand
my mind to put stop to your absurd
folly. Tomorrow we shall engage the
enemy across the creek, and propose to
stand right beside you, pistols in hand,
and see that you do your duty; If you at
tempt to run away shall shoot you!''
Captain" rejoined Handy, with flash
ing eyes and burning cheeks, that
You may shoot me, but I'm blowed If Pm
going to let any infanal Yankee do it,"
AS for Major Handy himself, he says
that the most embarrassing moment he
ever experienced was when he issued from
the White House last winter after one of
the Presidential receptions. It was late at
night, the portico was ablaze with electric
lights and long line of carriage was in
waiting Congressman Allen was with
him, and the first thing Allen did, as they
stepped out upon the front portico, was to
call out in commanding tones: "The Irish
minister's carriagep'
1Hrhis command was taken up in good
faith by the divers lackeys and passed
along the line. "The Irish Ministers $
posing array. The crowd of curious spec
tators gaped in wonder at the parsonage
whom they honestly believed to be the
envoy from Erin. Nobody tumbled to
the joke, and presumably nobody noticed
Handy's confusion or heard the invectiyes
which he spat at his jocose friend Allen
as the twain meandered down the gravel
walk
The critic., 1891-01-23
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

"lf you want to be specialist, he rather a
dentist than an aurist, for man has thirty-two
teeth and only two ear. -F2ie0ends Blatter.
"I'll bet," said Chollle, "judging from the
way these trousers shrink, the wool was shorn
from an unusually timid lamb Puck.
The actress who is "wcddcd to her art" gets
divorce as soon ms the right man comes
along.-IeIds Siftings.
"Look out" howled the impatient victim in
the barber's chair. "Do you think you're
carving in woodi"
mo, sir; more like etching on brass."-
MiiudHkee Sentinel.
IIe-May hope?
She-Yes; II you will promise never to refer
to the matter again.-LVe.
"How does Hen. Peck take married lifcs"
tions"-Puck.
1t may he all right in q scholastic point OF
view TO reduce the collegiate course at Har-
yard to three years, but how can they expect
to make a stroke oar or football rusher in that
space OF time !-B0stOn Transcript
Bomowit-That's rather q swell boarding
house you are stopping at, Gazzleton,
Gnzzleton--Why, yes. tried cheaper one
but couldn't AFFORD IL. ! fell away 50 that
had to buy new suit in six weeks.-Hdrpei's
Bdzar.
Scene In the play of Don Carlos"-Marquis
Posa (who has forgotten his partl-Giye us
what you have taken from us Give us
King--You mean, perhaps, yonr freedom OF
thinking !-F2iegende Btdtter.
Mrs. Glibhe-I think your new house is a de-
lightiul one, Mr.. Jones. Only yesterday was
telling my husband that thought you We're q
very levelheaded man.
johnny dnterrupting)-No, ma, you didn't
ray quite that You said nat-headed,-
sty's Weekly
First Wife-And 20 you have been married
twenty yearsl Really, you must excuse me
for asking, but does your husband still kiss you
every day.
Second Wife (proudly)-Yes, always. My
Tom II one of the most conscientious men |
ever knew,-SO0,eTUlRt Journal.
Mr.. Wilson, publisher of the Chicago Eu6aiR0
journal, tells OF an amusing experience he had
when his paper was changed from u folio TO a
quarto. Ono morning after the change onc OF
the Oldest subscribers came into the Eoealng
Journal office and engaged In conversation with
Mr.. Wilson. "And how do you like the change
In the shape of our paper 7" asked Mr. Wilson,
"Wa-al," answered the old gentleman slowly,
"wife and | have been talking IL all over
We've been studying the new paper and com
pairing IL with the old one, and, while VIC sup
pose that the change will strike most people as
being an improvement, we've about made NJ
our minds to ask you, II II doesn't make any
| great difference TO YOU to deliver us our EDeir
Ing JOunH in the old four-pagc form
lIicQOO NelpS,
The critic., 1891-01-23
HOTEL ARRIVALS.

Menopoitda--Fred. H. Block, Cincinnati; W.
j. Dent and John Mayberry, West Virginia;
Robert Adrian, jr., New Yorc; John l.. More
head, Charlotte, N. C.
NdtiORdl--H. L.. Pierce, Wichita, Kan; John
Ohio; W. Is. Meredith, Kittaning, Pa.
81, Jdmes-s. II. Lockett Macmillan steffer,
New York; ii. Booth, Montgomery, Ala; j.
w, Eighner, Amsterdam, N. Y; John Grar
and w. r. Schatz, Pittsburg; j. W. Allies,
Roscoe, Pa.
lpiNdrds-H, II. Poppleton, Cleveland; Geo.
II. McLane, Virginia; ID. j. simpson and j. H.
Laughlin, ID. Is. Simpson, Pittsburg; August
Larsen, Birmingham, England.
Rl9Qs-T. r.. Ilersperger and wife, Fred
hericl, Md; &. +. Fondersmith, Lancaster, Pa; (;
G. i, Howe, Boston.
Ipelcktr'S-Mr and Mrs. William A. Raborg;
Baron Alphonse liumbcrgcr, Stuttgart, Ger
many; :. ii. Summers, Detroit,
UO,mhy's- William II. Kline, Pennsylvania;
York; Mr.. and Mrs, r. $. Albert. Miss dc Vile
don, Baltimore,
ArRngioa-w r. Marks, Hartford; Gsorgs
+. Willipms, Dedham, Mass; Charles Michael,
Newark; NJ. Stern, Newbnrg, N. Y. Pearl
Wight, New Orleans
Eb6it-J. &. Kyle, Sardis, Miss A. Colby,
Wilmington, Del; W. II. Williams, Pittsburg;
S. ), Early and wife, Terre llaute, Ind; Isaac
DENLY and wife, $, q. Denby, Grace r. Cressc,
Montclair, n. j.; W. q. Ileiner, kittaninlng,
Pa.
Hotel JOhnSOA-Reuben Johnson and Charles
f. HOughtOn. Northumberland, Pa; ID. W,
Sharpers, Newcastle, Pa; IL. b. Appenhait,
Baltimore; II. Weiss, Philadelphia.
The critic., 1891-01-23

SrEAKING or Hon. d. Il. HuLL's promo
tion from the Governorship of New York
to seat in the United States Senate the
New York SIN indulgcs this remarkable
sentiment:
Blu. now that Governor HILL has been
elected Senator, we shall not withhold any
exertion to make him the Democratic
candidate for President. The new diili-
cultics in his path. especially the circum-
stance that he cannot remain as Governor
after the 18th of March, only render neces-
sary more vigorous efforts to overcome
them.
Thoughtful people will wonder what
the San means by ''new difficulties in his
path, especially the circumstance that he
cannot remain as Governor after the 4th
of March" Do Mr.. HILLs chances for
the nomination depend upon an intelli-
gent public recognition of character and
services, or on his ability to work the
machine from the gubernatorial chair?
If he is the great and good man the Sun
says he is; if he has won the respect and
confidence of the Democratic masses by
the exhibition of high qualities and splen-
did attainments; If he is pure patriot
and n brilliant statesman; how does a
VI cation of the chair at Albany raise
"new difficulties in his path?' We con-
fess We do not catch Mr.. DANA's meaning,
unless, indeed, Mr.. HILL is none of the
great things we have mentioned and is
only a small, scheming politician who
Loses his prestige when he resigns his
'Iull." Perhaps the San will oblige an
anxious country by explaining.
The critic., 1891-01-23
Arthur T.. German.


Senator German, upon whom the eyes
of all Democrats are now admiringly
fixed, on account of his mastery conduct
of the fight against the Force bill, is gen
tleman of 50 of medium size and quiet
manners. His face is smoothly shaven
and is pale. He has large and handsome
brown eyes, capable of great expression.
Every day that the Senate sits he walks to
and from the Capitol, unless the weather
should be very stormy, indeed. His
Washington home is on Rhode Island
avenue, near Seventeenth street There
he stays most of the time when he is not
occupied with his Senatorial or social
duties, surrounded by his wife, his
daughters and his son, who is about to
enter Johns Hopkins University. The
Senator's tastes are domestic and literary.
There are few better private libraries in
Washington than his. That he should
have been selected by all the Democrats
in Congress as their leader in the battle
against the Republican attempt to rule
this country by fraud and force is simply
tribute to the divine right of brains.
Mr.. German is by no means aself-assertive
man. On the contrary, he is quiet and
modest. Even in the midst of the battle
he does not make himself conspicuous.
Yet his opponents realize that he has allthe
points at command, and that any error of
theirs will be seized upon at once and made
the most of against them. As an orator
Mr.. German is plain and perspicuous. He
seems to have horror of spread-eagleism,
and prefers to make his argument sue
cinctly in the clearest and quietest way,
and, having stated his case, TO sit down.
Senator German has grown upon the
country by sheer force of merit. 1t was
in 1884, as chairman of the campaign
committee of the National Democratic
Committee, that he made his national
reputation as great political manager.
In 1888 he was also of great service to his
party and it is not too much to say that
to his effective conduct of the campaign
last fall the magnificent victory was largely
due. Mr.. German, in perfect cooperation
with Congressional Campaign Chairman
Flower, paid attention to every doubtful
Congressional district in the country,
awaiting himself of the condition of public
feeling against the Mckinley and the
Force bills, and using all legitimate means
to gain votes on those issues. As Mr.. Cor
man does not work with brass bands or
clamor of any kind, great many wise
people have no idea to this day of the
value Of the missionary work which Mr..
German caused to be done in the Con-
gressional districts last fall. But its result
was that the voters went to the polls fully
informed Of the meaning of the Mckinley
and Force bills, and of the great injury to
the country which their operation would
cause.
The critic., 1891-01-23
The Waning Pontin.

The latest trustworthy news about Pope
Leo XIlI. who has again been represented
as in a dying condition by recent dis
patches, is to be found in the iSccolO IXIX.,
a Milan paper, to which its Rome cor
respondent wrote December %, 1890:
The strength of the Pope is daily de.
creasing. Not that he can be said to be
suffering from any definite illness, still
his life Is ebbing away, slowly and insen-
sibly. What keeps him up more than
anything else is his energy and his will,
still sufficiently strong and vigorous But
those who approach him are sadly struck
with all the symptoms of q speedy bodily
dissolution. The Pope's voice has become
thin-so thin; his body, already lean and
angular. has become almost transparent;
the eyes only are still vivacious and
brilliant.
He looks like a shadow, "un 'ombra,"
spirit, mournful and sad, wandering
through the grand and superb solitude of
the idea that he has not done for the
church as much as he could or would
have done. He had grand conceptions,
vast schemes, and he had the mind and
heart to realize them. But circumstances
were stronger than he. These later years
of his Pontificate have not corresponded
to all the hopes which he entertained in
100 ne lcelS IL nilnSeiI ana Is BrleVeu NJ
1t. Still, it was less through his fault than
through those of others that his plans did
not succeed.
AT any rate he continues his receptions.
| He always has on his lips his habitual
smile; he does not miss a single ceremony,
and fulfills all the duties of his high Office.
He wants to prove to others that he is still
| vigorous, and perhaps he wants to prove
it to himself. But nobody in the Vatican
| entertains any illusion in that respect.
Extremely feeble are the ties which bind
him to life, and no great force will be
necessary to cut them off. Perhaps one
morning, when nobody expects II, the
during one of the ceremonies which he
will attend, the old man will be seen
dropping his head, never to lift it NJ
again, upon the arm of the holy chair, the
The critic., 1891-01-23
GONE BEFORE.


There's a beautiful face In the silent air,
Which follows me ever ana near,
With smiling eyes and amber hair
With voicelcss lips, yet with breath OF prayer
That feel but cannot hear.
The dimplcd hand and rlnglet OF gold
Lie low in q marble sleep;
! stretch my hand for q clasp OF old;
But the empty air II strangely cold,
And my vigil alone keep.
There's a sinless brow with radiant crown,
And n cross laid down in the dust;
There's smile where never shade comes
now;
And tears no more from these dear eyes flow,
SO sweet In their innocent trust,
All, welll And summer is come again,
Singing her same old song;
But oh, II sounds like sob OF pain.
As II floats In the sunshine and the rain,
Oer the hearts of the worlds great throng.
There's beautiful region above the sklos
And long TO reach its shore;
For know shall find my treasure there,
The laughing eyes and amber hair
OF the loved one gone before.
The critic., 1891-01-23
A SALOON KEEPER DISAPPEARS.
He Leaves His Home with $500 in His
Pocket.

PHLAprLrnA, Jan. 23.--The residents
around the nelghborhood of Tenth and
York streets are greatly excited by the
disappearance of n well-known saloon
keeper, John II. Miller of No. 2i0l North
Tenth street, who left his wife and family
n week ago with nearly $500 in his pocket,
but who has not yet returned
His wife and intimate friends fear foul
play; some ill-natured people say that he
has absconded with the assets of several
beneficial societies of which he was treas.
urcr, and others say he has gone on n
spree and will return when his money IS
gone. In the meantime the mystery is
beyond solution.
Miller left his home last Thursday and
he said he was going to attend meeting
Of the Barbers' Association, to pay some
bills, and that he would be home at 9
o'clock sharp. He was seen by friend
named John Stevenson on Market street
at 4:30in the afternoon, and he made an
engagement with Stevenson to meet him
at his saloon at o o'clock. Since that time
he has not been heard of.
The critic., 1891-01-23

TTVTt
There is much speculation as to Gov
ernor Hills change of front on the ques-
ton of candidacy for the Presidency as
revealed in his sudden willingness to be-
come New York's United States Senator.
The reason is upon the surface. He does
not care to be an unsuccessful Presidential
candidate; six-years' Senatorial chair is
much more congenial to him, and he is
too keen politician not to know that the
South make it practically impossible to
elect Democratic Presidential candidate
in 1902. BY no possibility can any North
ern State east of the Mississippi be brought
into line for Free Coinage Silver candi-
date, and none other need apply. The
party has dug its own grave, and dug it
deep, 1t is attractive because 1t has
silver lining,
The critic., 1891-01-23
FALL OE AN ELEVATOR.
II Goes Down Fifty Feet, and Num-
Der of WOrkmen Injured.

BALTIMORE, Jan. 23.-In South Balti-
more yesterday an elevator containing
eight men fell nearly fifty feet down a
shaft. Six were more or less injured,
while the remaining two escaped unhurt.
That none of the victims were killed out
right is little less than miraculous.
At Cross street and Battery avenue the
city is building sewer, and when this nc
cident occurred the men were on an ele-
shafts used to lower the workmen and
carry the dirt from the sewer. 1t was
while the men were going down to work
this morning that the accident happened
The boy in charge lost control of the grip,
and like flash the elevator dropped down
the shaft. On the instant the imperilled
men recognized their danger, but had no
time to act.