The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-09-12
LOVE AND SOFT SOAP.

yoa never did. but one really exists
outside OF tho Illustrations in the comic
papers and Tom Thompson is the
man.
Tom is tho pure and perfect speci-
men OF the Ideal country pumpkin.
His long. lean shanks could not possibly
be any longer and leaner without hav-
ing pair OF tongs for his paternal
ancestor, and every solitary lock OF
his carrot-colored hair flaps about his
eabbage-leaf ears with the self-satisfied
wigglc OF the tail OF u sucking calf.
Ho is as green in appearance rs a
whole vegetable garden in addition to
all that.
Thomas Is really only twenty-one
years old but looking at his puckercd
and sun-scorched features. no person
OF Judgment would ever suppose him
to be less than hundred and fifty
Indeed, the youngster bears most
striking family resemblance to we'll
baked Baldwin apple.
Our callow hero for years has strug-
gled to cultivate an average set of
whiskers. but somehow they always
look as II affected by drought. APP
parently his whisker patch needs irri-
eating. Anyway all the beard he has
succeeded in raising up to the present
time Is struggling and dilapidated
goatee about the color OF a slice OF
fried pork.
My! isn't Tom bashful? He don't
dare to look strange cat in the face,
and when it comes to girls well there!
He has always acted as II he would
sooner hug u keg Of powder with his
cuff buttons red hot than perform u
like ceremony for the prettiest piece
OF proud flesh that ever trod shoe
leather. But in spite OF that fact he
has had sort of far-away hankering
after Susan Twitchell for some time.
Tom" said Dad Thompson to his
diff1dent heir one evening not long
since, Tom. why don't yer git mar
ried?"
IL darsn't, Dad" suffered poor
Thomas, blushing like blood beet in
his agony. Il sartinly b'neve 1t
would kill me-"
oh git eout!" snorted cid Thomas
An disgust Here I've been married
nigh onter twenty-five year. an it has
never killed me onst"
II know it. DGd; but yer only mar
ried Marin. an can't dew that"
That don't make any odds, Tom.
Yer old huff ter git married. an mar
ried you've gotter be and that's all
there is tew it. You've got kinder
sneakin' goneness on account o. Suse
Twitchell, an yer know it, So you've
gotter gin her pop ter onst an see
what she says"
20. Dad. l can't. I'D melt right
deown inter a dab o. grease the minute
i tried her. Icouldn't pop ter any gal
an live through it. least of all ter Susc
Twitchell."
''Shet up!" snapped out the old man.
..Harkee now. This is the month o.
May an the ole woman has jest made
yer May baskit. Meow you've gotter
60 an hang it ter Suse this very night,
an when she ketches yer you've got
ter AK her abeout gittin' hitched.
Then the hull bisness IL be tended
tew"
mo 'twon't nuther don't b'lieve
twill be any moron begun" quavered
Tom, his teeth rafting like bag OF
brass buttons. FL twas only man,
now wouldn't keer."
''Shet up, yer fool grow.ed the old
man again. There's yer baskit; now
mizzle."
And before the poor fellow could re-
l. l.
pushed out on the doorstep with the
nndesired May basket in his hand,
while his determined old father calmly
closed the door upon him.
He could not have been much more
terrified and yet have retained the
least particle OF sense but he had al
ways been an obedient son and habit
was still strong within him. So he
started slowly off up the road toward
'Twitchell's. still mechanically holding
the fatal package OF bonbons in his
trembling grasp.
The house of his adorable was
reached all too soon. but when Tom
came in sight of 1t he gave sigh Of
relief. 1t was wrapped in utter dark
ness from cellar to garrett, and the
night was cloudy and moonless be-
sides.
Gosh! Of they hain't turned In air.
lyr muttered Thomas, a burst OF
thankfulness yelling up from his
heart. '.Suse can't crawl outer bed
an enter caliker quick enough ter
ketch me, now swan ter snakes. As
longs won't have ter pop darn bit
reckon I'd better hang the basket as
Dad telled me tew."
Nevertheless 1t was with prodigi-
GUS humping Of the heart that he APP
preached the shadowy doorway. With
trembling fingers he pinned the tissuey
offering to the casing, and raising his
hand he gave one tremendous knock;
but his father had played deep game.
Wishing him to be scooped in whether
or no. the old man had been over In
tho afternoon and warned the fair
Susan what was coming. Consequent
ly she had darlfened the house and
kept on tho watch, so the timid youths
knuckles had scarcely touched the
wood ere the door few open and Susie