Iron County register., 1891-01-08

circumstances and conditions and for
Similar period, will it take to earn ST.
AZ, Al. SIS?
216. 600: 1,577. 142. IS 90
Multiply our second term BY our third
and divide the product by our first. An
swer la 7ss57-2.6. 900 nobodies. a frac
| ton of nobody does not amount to
much. so will discard the fraction and
call it ia.
Gracious, goodness me, what an enter
/ prising, public-spirited man Mr. Van
/ Grip was!
1t warns the cookies of my heart to
contemplate him. Just think of it. He
earned and saved more than ia of the
ordinary run of men earned and squan-
! dered.
! Pondering over these figures an idea
occurred to me. and as I am not one of
! those who keep their light under 4
| bushel, give it to the readers of The
| Standard. 1t is this: The sole object
| OF life nowadays is money. Granted.
/ There are over so. 900, 600 human beings
In these United States at the present
| writing. Now, suppose that oneffth
/ of these are able-bod4ed men (which
they are not, but we will suppose so),
engaged in terribly earnest pursuit Of
that object, and suppose again that in
every 115 of these 10, ,OOo 600 there isone
Mr. Van Grip and ia incapable no obodies-
Now let us figure out that and see what
| it comes to:
| lis 10000, 900 Il:
| Proceed as we have done above and
we find that there are s695G 1928 Mr..
Van Grips and 9.913, CAS- 1928 incapabls
| nnhnAinc bN Ia 20
| ccomplish any thing toward the object
| referred to-mOney.
| Now l have come to the idea. Listen:
| Let those 9,913, 043 1923 incapable no.
| bodies be quietly choked, or burned, or,
| perhaps, it would be cheaper to dump
| them into the sea- and then after that
has been done let US surangle all the no.
| body infants as fast as they appear and
save and carefully raise the Van Grip
infants; if-but, hang it, here comes
| this terrible ''if.' How are we to recog-
Eize the Van Grip infants? There's the
rub. Perhaps some reader of The Stand
ard may devise a mode of obviating this
| little difficulty
| Some men are curious animals. | re-
lated the facts above written to my
friend Pete Drudger. and instead of ap-
| preciating the enterprise and public
spirit of Mr.. Van Grip as they deserve,
he metaphorically tore that respect
| able gentleman's memory TO tatters,
said he never did an honest days work
in his life, said he was nothing but a
| bloated spider who lay idly in his hole,
and watched an opportunity to prey up
on the poor nobodies. said that the
| 81, So, 142. s. of right belonged to the ia
nobodies l spoke of. then branched off
into some nonsense about 'unearned III
crcment," or some such stuff, and finally
| wound up by calling me n fool, and said
that if my ''idiotic idea" about burning.
choking and drowning could, by any
possible means, be carried into eXecu-
tion, ! should be the first victim. as he
had never known more incapable no.
body than l am; whereupon l left him.
There is no use in trying to reason with
such men. OWEN FITzsIMoNs.
A London Landlords soIlloquy.
London Echo.
"IIah, a letter from Jones, the grocer,
asking me to renew his lease, on the
ground that he has built up business
after great expenditure and years of
work, and will be ruined if don't allow
him to remain where he is. Jones is an
imperfectly informed person. He i'm
agines / exist for him, whereas Jones,
like all his neigh hbors-those living in
the streets which belong to me, and
those living in other streets as we'll,
throughout this vast metropolis-all
exist and toll and think for me- Ha!
ha! ha. Just think of it; own squares,
and streets, and terraces, and draw a
splendid and princely income from them.
And l not only get my rents regularly
paid, and see houses which were built
on ground that l fortunately refused to
sell and would only let-like my
ancestors, wise men-on short
| leases, gradually falling into my hands,
| becoming my own, to be let at high and
increasing rents, but l see all London
| toiling to make me richer, and conse-
| quently more powerful and-happier
What delightful thought it is.
Not merchant. who increases the
wealth and trade OF this great metropo-
| lis; not a workman, who adds to its in
| dustrial product: not an author, or writ
er, or scientific man that adds to its rep
utation; not a builder, not father of an
| increasing family, but puts gold into my
| pocket by augmenting the value OF my
land and houses. / toll not neither do
l spin. Why should l when all the
world around is toiling and spinning for
me? Ny gifts even-they are not great,
| for invest all ! can in real property, so
that those who follow me may have even
| greater wealth and power than myself
can all be made to enhance my own po-
sis:on. II beautify q street. or give q
| site upOn which handsome church OF,
chapel can be built, or subscribe to i'm
| perial institutes or South kensington
| improvements, do l not still benefit my
self? Every thing works for the
best for me in this best of all possible
worlds. The brains, sinews, energies,
! inventions of all mankind are mine in a
| peculiar sense. / not only profit by
them as other people do. but they ali
tend to one end-the increasing value of
my property. So that while the toilers
| and moilers-even the most socialistic
and democratic-think they are benefit
| ing themselves, / am taking toll OF
every blow they strike and every work
| they do. Gradually this enables me to
make stronger the golden chain-the
strongest and perhaps-well, the cruel
est-with which l and my fellow land
/ lords and plutocrats bind society. even
down to its lowest stratum: reinforcing
/ its links, lengthening its extent, in
creasiHg its repressive influence. Fer,
/ after all. who can estimate the power of
/ cold in uOliticS in society in RELIGION