The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-11-17
Reconciled

NGCOuCllGO'
"Hello, Mr.. Devil"
DAN right, Mr.. Bilkins, what
can I do for you?"
B-"Oh! nothin'. I'm better now"
D-"Have J gu been sick?'
B-"Sick! Why, man sick is no
name for it. I've had the rumatism
an toothache and a boil on the back of
my neck. If you call that sick I'm
done with you. I've bin erbout dead"
D-"Very sorry, Mr.. Bilkins."
B-"Thank you. Hitch me on to
the editor"
R-"All right, MI. Bilkins. Your
will shall be DONE"
B-"Well, I want ter know some
thin that will protect a married man
when his wife gets on the warpath."
R-"Has Mrs. Bilkins been trying
to intimidate you2"
B-"I don't know what you call
intimerdation; but if raisin' old Nick
is what you call intimerdation, then
that is what you r. strikin' at"
R-'Tell me how it was"
B-"Well, you see a boil started to
break out on neck, I took the tooth
ache and the rheumatic. reckin' I
was sorter crabbid an Betsy she got
riled and said things she oughtn' er
sed. She sed my blood got bad since l
had bin votin' for everybody except
her and the children. She sed every
fool partisan ought to get all doubled
up with the reumatiz. | wasn't in a
good humOr nohOw an I sassed her
back and one word brought on another.
l told her that the wimin' ought to do
all the plowin' and horse swappin' and
drink all the ticker an do the vOtin'.
l told her that they would turn the
United States upside down in less than
three weeks. Betsy said that she
wasn't goin' to live with a crank any
longer. She said a crank was a man
you couldn't turn, because he was all
crank and there was nothin' to turn,
an that a man who wouldn't turn in
politics when he could save the coun
try by doing so, was a crank of the
finest blood"
R.-"You and Mrs. Bilkins ought to
compromise and live peaceably."
B.-"We have decided to do that
When we got in a good humor we
sorter kissed and made up an I prom
ised not to vote fer any nan who is
opposed to the OcaIa platform. Betsy
thinks that is the best thing in Amer
lea except religion. So we are paci1ed
and everything is smilin' now"
R.-"YOu acted wisely"
B.-"Has that address come to light
yet?"
R.-"No, it has not been seem"
B,-"What was the trouble, any
how? Why didn't they wait till next
year an issue the address to the peo-
pie? [ can't see for my life why the
campaign should be fought this year.
Looks to me like they are gettin' the
cart before the horse, or words to that
effect"
R.-"It will require a Solomon to
explain that question"
B.-'You reckin the price of cotton
will get emmy b~etter?"
R.-"lt may go up a little, but there
will be no marked changein the affairs
of this country until the Sub Treasury
or something of the kind goes into
effect. The Bible says that the Devil
is to be loose for a thousand years at
some period. He is out now roaming
around and has got into the monopo-
lists, the politicians and the crop spec
ulators. Every little politician in North
Carolina has daily interviews with the
"Old Boy" and that is why they op-
pose the Sub-Treasury and other good
things proposed.
B.-"I reckin you r right. Betsy
says that is the trouble an l hear other
people talkin' that way, too. If we
have to fight the Devil and the politi-
clans both at the same time, we have
got a big job on our hands and we had
better pull off our coats an go at it
right now. Good bye"