The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-27
BRIGHT BITS.

SENATOR'S Vance and Vest have both been re-
nominated. This will prevent two VS. from
becoming Xs.-LOICeH Courier.
THE ghost shirt is all right as a relic, but
there is no denying that war paint is the most
popular sioux veneer.-OnlI "a Word He, aid.
ACCEPTING the philosophers theory that
MONEY represents trouble it is surprising to see
how many people are anxious to borrow
trouble Was fnGtOR Post.
The MAN who will complain that a twenty
minute sermon is too long will sit half day
watching a couple Of chess players making two
moves. Norr1stoion Herald.
TIE PRovERB says: 1.-The devil always leaves
the bars dowo.n But judging by the rapid in
crease of New York saloons he is constantly
putting new bars np.--Tesns SiftiD gs.
Mr.. GLrM-This il long farewell, Mrs. Gar
goyie. I'm going TO California for nv health.
Mrs Garkoyle-1adesd! How did your
health get that far away from you?-Bro0Elyb
Life.
SICK MAN-I'm afraid can't have you any
longer, doctor; my money is all gone.
Family Physician tcheerfuly)- 20. that doesn't
matter. I've insured your life in my favor
Nsto York We kiy.
Mr.. GRUMP-I can't see, my dear, what good
that border of fur does you around the hem of
your skirt.
Mrs. Grump-Why it shows that can afford
it, HdrpeTs Bdzdr
DoNT write to a married womanl
No advice than tots Is better;
For correspondent and correspondents
Differ by by o letter. Puck.
IF our old friend. Constant Reader" who so
hobs in sight.
Should live up to his nom de plume, he'd have
no time to write.-TndidnapoIis Journal.
my little man, come tell to me
II you could by some magic bee
To the unknown fairyland tranSplanted,,
Where boys may have their wishes granted
What would your wishes be?''
I'D wish" he sidewise cooked his head,
Ponderded and paused, and then he said:
I'D wish had two brothers;
One great big one, and one could lick:
That nothin' never'd make me sick,
And eight or nine grandmothers."
-Ildianapolis journal.
trait taken" said oil Gen. Growler. IT don't
see why we didn't get likeness"
You must have obeyed tie photographer
and looked pleasant" returned Mrs. G.-Nelc
York Sun,
PRoFFEssoR-Historically which is the older
bird, the dove or the stors?
Student-I haven't given the matter any
study. professor. but have no hesitancy in
saying that the stork is Of longer staining.
Boston Journal.
POLITICIAN (angrilyl-Those newspapers tell
abominable lies about me-
Frienf-And yet they might do worse
Politlcian-Do wOrse What do you mean?
Friend-They might tell the truth.-Kdte
Fields Washington.
WHAT are these funny little green things?"
asked Flossie of her country cousin, pointing to
a number Of pea-pods.
Those are peas - said Tommy.
"You can't fool me, " retorted Flossie. peas
come In big red cans "-HGyper's BazGr.
ToMMY--Did you do much fighting during the
war, pa?
Pal did my share of t, Tommy.
Temmy--Did you make the en- my runS
Pa--Youre right, did, Tommy.
Tommy-Did they ketch you, pa?--Boston
Courier.
FAIR SHoPPER-W What is the difference be.
tween these two pieces of goods?
Clerk-0ne is marked higher than the other
Yes; but what is the real difference between
them?"
Il just told you--a marked difference
Buffalo Express.
BLINKs during heavy rain)-Did you run
over and ask Jinks for that umbrella lent him
last night!
once Boy-"Yes, sir; he says he's very sorry,
but the umbrella is wet yet. and he wouldn't
like to return it in that condition. He says he
will carry it home to night and dry it by the FIRE
Good he2pS