davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Monkeys as Coin Testers.

1t is said that the great apes of Siam
are in request among the Siamese mer-
chants as cashiers in their counting
houses. Vast quantities of base coin are
known to be in circulation in Siam, and
according to the advices from that
scorchedup little oriental kingdom, no
living human can discriminate between
the good and bad coinage with as much
accuracy as these apes. These monkey
cashiers possess the faculty Of distin-
gushing the rude Siamese counterfeits
in such an extraordinary degree that no
trained bankers can compete with them
in their unique avocation. In plying
his trade the ape cashier meditatively
puts each coin presented to him in his
mouth and tests it with grave delibera
ton. From two to five seconds is all the
time this intelligent animal requires in
making up his decision. If the coinis all
right it is carefully deposited in the
proper receptacle; if it is base is thrown
violently to the floor, while the coin
tester makes known his displeasure at
being presented with the counterfeit by
giving vent to much angry chattering.-
St. Louis ReDubkc
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Could Tell by the Children.

ct have an idea," said the young man
who is always having strange ideas
that one can tell which party to mat
rimonial alliance has the brains, the
ability, the force, by the children"
Yes" commented the other quietly
Sure. Show me family were all
the children are boys and I'D show you
a man who is the forceful one, the brains
of the family"
Yes" Still quietly.
" Dead certain. I've made study OF
it. I've looked up particular families.
If you find all girls, the woman is really
the head of the family. she is the one
who really manages things, although she
may be little woman at that"
Yes" He was really very meek.
"Of course I've noticed when it is
pretty evenly divided between boys
and girls, the abilities are pretty evenly
divided"
"By the way, you're married, I be
lieve"
eyes"
"Any children?"
" Two; both girls
cob"
And then the conversation tagged
ChicdUO Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
A Lake Covered by Land.

While on a recent business tour in
Alabama | saw curious phenomenon
which is not, to my knowledge, repeat
ed in any other part of the world. In
Bibb County, not many miles from a
town called Six Miles, at barn on Six
Mile Creek, there is a field of two or
three acres which is over a subterranean
lake. The soil is only three or four feet
thick, and you can take a sharp pole
and drive it through to the water be-
ueath Half dozen men. jumping up
and down at once in any particular spot,
will make the cornstalks tremble for
ten or twelve feet around. In the dry
est seasons this patch of ground is al
ways damp, not to say wet, and it can
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Beauties of Red Tape.

The widow Of an army officer went to
the pension Office for the purpose OF
drawing her pension She presented
the usual certificate Of the mayor of her
village to the effect that she was still
alive.
This certificate is not right" said
the official.
" What is the matter with it?''
Because it bears the date December
q. But your pension was due Deem
Der 15."
"What kind of a certificate do you
want?"
1--WE must have certificate that you
were alive on the 18th day of Deem
ber Of what use is this one that says
you were alive on the 21st of Deem
ber. "-Terds ,Sifti7lQs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
n Talented Mocklng Bird.

A few evenings since, says the
way extension, his ear was greeted
with the rich rising and falling notes of
sprightly hooking bird. The con-
cealed beauty was pet of Mrs. DIR. J. S.
Howell. He readily runs the diatonic
and chromatic scales when played on a
piano or other instrument. A tune
whistled within his hearing is quickly
repeated, only frightened by more
pleasing pitch and expression, while
such tunes as "Chippy, Get Your Hair
CUT and GLOW Are You Off for Stamps
To-day?'' are repeated correctly, and
then sandwiched in with silver-tongued
variations that would make any ordinary
member of his tribe put their heads
under their wings.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
HOW TO WIN AT POKER.

A Few Tips to Milwaukee Players a
"Sure-Thing' Game.
| A few practical illustrations to poker
players has long been necessitated, as
their too honest actions have often lad
them to defeat. Here they are:
l. Don't buy but half as many chips at
the start as the other players. The eXpec-
tatlOn is that you will win, and If you lose
it IS better that you borrow or owe UP.
z. Never ante up till someone tells you
to-. and then say that you have, and stick
to it. which will generally persuade some
one else to ''cOme in'' twice. This rule,
though an excellent one, must be followed
with discretion. If practiced too often is
liable to produce unpleasant feelings
3. Toward the end of the evening it is al
ways better to lowe" up your ante "for a
of the pot frequently forgets to charge up
the debt, and none of the other players will
! remind him, as they may wish to do the
same thing.
4. When the credit system begins to
creep in, as it generally does about the
middle of the game, you should '.owe up"
if possible, and bet chiefly against those
who always ''put up.' This is one of the
most important rules. To win in cash and
lose on credit is the great secret of success
full poker playing.
5. In dealing always observe the bottom
cara, winch you can easily GO before Ino
cut. Then, by noticing how thick cut is
made, you can tell whether that card goes
out. This may help you in the draw.
+. Keep sharp eye on the discard. This
may be of service if your draw is not sat-
ISfactOry.
Z. When you are ''ln luck' watch your
opportunity. From time to time put sOlEe
of your checks IN your pocket without be-
ing seen. This will enable you to ''Owe"
up if luck turns, and will prevent the 9TH
ers from borrowing from you.
8. When anyone wants to buy more
checks and you have plenty, get him to buy
OF you, if possible, in preference to the
bank. 1t enables you to conceal the amount
of your winnings and, besides, the bank
may not be able to pay up.
9. When you are ''chipping OUT for
drinks, etc.. put cigar in your pocket
every once in while. You are sure to be
SO much ahead of the game and they come
in very handy even when you dOn'tsmOke.
10. Never permit anything to make you
forget Tor moment that the whole object
of the game is to save your own money
and secure, somebody elSe's. and let every
thing you do. however trifiing, tend to this
desirable end.
IL. When the game is over, if you are
winner, deny it entirely, or fix the figure
as low as possible; if you are loser declare
that you have lost twice as much as you
really have. This rule is never departed
from. The money lost at game of poker
always foots up four times as much as the
money won
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
THE COMING MAN.
BY ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.


Oh, not for the great departed,
Who formed our country's laws,
And not for the bravest-hearted
Who died in freedoms cause,
And not for some living hero
To whom all bend the knee,
NV muse would raise her song OF praise
But for the man to be,
For out of the strife which woman
Is passing through to- day,
A man that is more than human
Shall yet be born, / say.
A man in whose pure spirit
No dross of self will lurk:
A man who is strong to cope with wrong,
man who is proud to work.
4 man with hope undaunted,
a man with god-like power
Shall come when the most is wanted,
Shall come at the needed hour
He shall silence the din and clamor
OF clan disputing clan.
And tolls long fight with purse proud might
Shall triumph through this man.
know he is coming. coming,
To help, to guide, to save,
Though | hear no martial drumming,
And see no flags that wave.
But the great soul travail of woman,
And the bold free thought unfurled,
And the heralds that say he is on the way
The coming man of the world.
Mourn not for vanished ages
With their great heroic men,
Who dwell in history's pages
And live in the poets pen.
For the grandest times are before us,
And the world is yet to see
The nOblest worth of this old earth
In the men that are to be.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
SHE WAS HOPPING MAD.

An Incident with the Moral "Never Take
Anything For Granted
Just as he reached the foot of the steps
he put his hand into one of his trousers
pockets and then calculated:
What in thunder ~
Then he felt in another pocket, and
muttered:
He stopped and thought for moment,
and then tried his vest pockets. Next
he tried those in his coat.
every ones asleep, too,o he NUT
tered as he paused in front of the door.
Il wonder where [ could have left
them"
He went through his pockets again and
then sat down on the top step to think
the matter over.
"She'll be hopping mad if I wake
her up" he muttered. land no excuse
Will go. But what else am | to do ?"
He sighed, made third search of his
pockets, and then got up with look of
several vicious yanks at the door-bell.
ooh, me O, my Won't she be mad
thought" he soliloquized.
And she was.
80, it's you. is it?'' she exclaimed,
when she opened the door. "W hat did
you wake me up for"
"My DEAR" he said. alphabetically,
81 couldn't get in
"Did you try?" she asked.
"Why, no, my dear" he explained.
"You see l lost my keys to-day"
II know it. | found them on the
bureau, and SO left the door unlocked
for you"
Then she marched back to bed, and he
swore that he would never again take it
for granted that anything was locked
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
How Deaf Man Hears His Door
bell.

"Did it ever occur to you how d e a
and dumb man knows when his front
doorbell rings? l found out while max
ing call with a friend last Sunday. He
invited me to go with him to visit a
young married couple, both of whom
were deaf and dumb. We made our
way to pleasant little fiat building and
my friend pushed the upper electric
button. [ asked him il they kept a
servant, and when he said thev didn't ]
inquired how they heard the bell. He
said: They DON'T While [ was
wondering how they knew there was
somebody at the door my friends friend
appeared. There was little finger
talk between them and he led the way
OF paper and then told the young man
| was curious to find out how he knew
there was somebody at the door. He
wrote Come and look at our doorbell,
and led the way TO the kitchen. Here
| found a queer contri vance screwed
against the wall about four feet from the
floor. There was an electromagnetic
whose armature was connected with a
pair of levers, so that when the armature
was attracted a catch was released and
the hook tipped over. Hanging upon
this hook was a section of cedar post
about eight inches in diameter and two
feet and a half or so long. He pushed
the armature against the magnet and the
log dropped to the floor with a rever-
berating bang.
"'You can't hear that, can your I in
quired.
mo, can't hear it, but we feel the
jar when it falls. "-Cbicago Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Eggs Poison HIM.

Prof. Harvard, of Vienna, Ca, can
not bear the sight OF an egg, so John
Mcdonald says. 1t makes him sick to
look at one. A small piece of egg
placed in his hand will cause the flesh
to turn blue. If plate has been used
for eating eggs at breakfast he can de-
tect it at supper, even if the dish has
been washed. A few years ago, while
on visit at Macon, he was induced to
eat some ice cream, and the small
amount of egg in the cream made him
80 sick that physician had to be sent
for at once.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Love Made Him Blind.

John Mcintyre, of near Crawfords-
VILE, met with peculiar and probably
fatal accident yesterday while in the
harvest field, says the Charlottesville
Ind, correspondent of the st. Louis
Globe-Democrat. He stopped to rest
under a tree and was approached by
three young ladies, one of whom he
greatly admired. So interested did he
become in their conversation that when
he reached for the water jug to take a
drink he got hold of a jug Of machine
oil instead, and swallowed nearly pint
before he realized his mistake. He has
been IS commissions ever since, and is
attended by a corps Of physicians, who
despair Of his life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
" august
Flower

The Hon. J. w. Fennimore is the
Sheriff of Kent Co., Del, and lives
at Dover, the County Seat and Cap
ita1 of the State. The sheriff is
gentleman ffty-nine years of age,
and this is what he says II have
FUSED your August Flower for sew
"era1 years III my family and for my
own use, and found it does me
more good than any other remedy.
I have been troubled with what
call Sick Headache. A pain comes
in the back part of my head first,
and then soon a general headache
until / become sick and vomit.
At times, too, l have a fullness
after eating, a pressure after eating
at the pit of the stomach, and
" sourness, when food S med to rise
up in my throat and mouth When
l feel this coming on if I take a
little August Flower it relieves
me, and is the best remedy l have
ever taken for it. For this reason
I take it and recommend it to
others as great remedy for Dys-
"pepsia, &c O
G. G. GREEN, Sole Manufacturer,
Woodbury., New Jersey, U. S. A.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

be distinguished from the rest of the
field by the luxuriant dark green of the
corn planted on it. In one place well
has been dug to the water, and they say
a 100 foot line failed to reach the bot
tom. The water is quite clear and as
cold as that of an ordinary spring, but
there seems to be no current, and the
local wonder is how the crust of earth
got on the top of the lake and how it
manages to stay therefor. 81. Louis
GIObp- Democrat
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Woodbury., New Jersey, U. S. A

4 ANlcc hearing of the European fame of DR.. La
erUlcS, Dues Periodical Pills Paris, France estab-
shed Europe 1885, induced to bring them to the
tice of the Milwaukee ladies' and the praise floating
from the lips of so many ladies soon sold for US several
gross. Our faith in this French remedy has induced
to buy them largely We positively guarantee these
pills to act directly on the menstrual system that they
will promote menstruation, and relieve irregularities,
suppressions distractions and arrangements Sent
anywhere prepaid, in plain sealed envelope at S2a
package or for g. The genuine article supplied ID
the public and trade only by HUNTER DRUG COM
PANY Wholesale and Retail Is Grand Ave. Milwaukee,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
The Poker Centre.

"Omaha's great place to play poker
in" he said to a group in the hotel
reading-room. The informer gets $50.
I played one night till they roped me in
for all l had, about $40. Next day in
formed and got the fifty. The next
night | took my fifty and, by Jimmy
Christmas, busted the bank and left
town with fifteen hundred. Then [
sent the fifty back to the conscience
fund ."-DetrOn Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

NEAR Pendleton, in Umatilla County,
Ore, have been discovered two mummi-
fed Indians; one is that of an old man
and the other that of child. They are
queer specimens and are regarded as
valuable curiosities. DR.. Morrow, who
owns the relics has, refused $500 for
them, but the curios are considered
much more valuable.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Confirmed.

The favorable impression produced on
the first appearance of the agreeable liquid
fruit remedy Syrup OfFiGs few years ago
has been more than confirmed by the
pleasant experience of all who have used
it, and the success of the proprietors and
manufacturers the California Fig Syrup
COMPANY.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

For &c. stamp, sent with address to
Lydia E. Plnkham Medicine Co., Lynn.
Mass, ladies Will receive, free, beautiful
illustrated book, ''Guide to Health and Ell
iouette.0
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

THERE has lately been organized in
England a Rent Guarantee Company,
the business Of which is to insure land
lords against loss by bad tenants. In
makes business of keeping landlords
informed as to the standing of tenants,
and for consideration they are sup
piled with information which often
enables them to keep undesirable ten
ants out of their houses.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

LIONS differ. The lion of the Atlas
Mountains is terror, the Cape lion cur.
The lion among securing soaps is SAPO-
LILO. Buy cake and avoid all limitations.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
SHE WAS A GRADUATE.
BY A. J.. K.

BY A. J.. K.
A field of white fringed daisies grew
Upon an Erie County farm.
maiden saw the flowers and said
What loneliness; what grace, what charm !!
Likewise the farmer saw them too,
And all the ia rmer said was, "Darn!"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

E. B. WALTQALL & CO.. Druggists,
Horse Cave KY, say: "Halps Catarrh
Cure cures every one that takes it." Sold
by Druggists 75c
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

GEN. BoULANGER is about to publish a
book under the title of reflections,
Thoughts and Maxims."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

YOUNG mothers who regain strength but
slowly should bear in mind that natures
greatest assistant is Lydia E. Pinkham' 5
Vegetable COMPOUND. 1t has no rival, as
thousands testify.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

IF troubled with headache, try the
simultaneous application of hot water
to the feet and back of tie neck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

WHITE Ieghorn hats decorated with
pink chiffon. roses and black velvet
ribbon.-Drg Goods Economist.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Established 1853.

Dresses, Gents Clothing, Feathers. Gloves,
ETC., Dyed or Cleaned, Plush Garments
Steamed at Otto Pietch's Dye Works. 246 w.
Water ST., Milwaukee. Send for Circular
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

WHEN George Francis Train, the globe
trotter, stopped in Jackson, Mich, the
other day, he presented each reporter
in sight with Chinese cane.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

FITS.-All Fits stopped free by Dr. KEine's
Great Nerve RestOrer. Motifs after first day 'suse
Marvellous Treatise and ST. trial bottle free to
Fit cases. Send To DIR. Kline. Arch St. Phla.. Pa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

The King of Denmark tops Queen
Victoria by one year as the senior sover-
eign of Europe.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

No Opium in Piso's Cure for ConSump-
ton. Cures where other remedies fail 25c
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

DAsHAwAY-'I want you to come over
to my literary society, old man."
Cleverton-"All right. Shall / wear
dress suit ?''
Dashaway-"No But bring along an
extra pack of cards. y Cothier and Far
qliSher.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

THE celebrated DR.. Powell, Formerly
of La Crosse, has permanently located in
st, Paul, Mimi.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

WATERLOO blue flannel for outing
gowns.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

CARRIERS for wedding presents that
have silver or gold buckles and ribbon
bows
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22
Can't You Catch On

To known means of overcoming that obsti-
nate disorder, constipation? OF course you can
Then why don't you? Ask those who have tried
it, and they will tell you that Hostetter's stom-
ach Bitters is a matchless laxative. effectual
without violence-thorough Alternative, but
perfectly reliable. 1t invigorates, too, no less
than it regulates the system, and it is chiefly to
this first quality that il owes the permanency of
its regulating effects since, if vigor is lacking
in the region of the bowels. the stomach or the
liver. healthful activity in those organs is sus-
pended. Deobstruents and cathsrtiCs in gen.
eraI are simply that and nothing more; they
relax the bowels merely without invigorating
them, and as their laxative action is usually
abrupt and violent, they really tend to weaken
the organs. Use the Bitters, also, for malaria,
rheumatism, Indigestion, debility and kidney
trouble.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-07-22

SAILOR ties of colored crepe.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-18
THREE INDIAN sTIFFs.
Trouble at the Wichita Agency
School.

School.
KINGFIsHER, o. T., Jan. 17.-'There
lis trouble at the Kiowa Indian school at
Anadorko. Wichita agency. between
the Kiowa and Wishid reservations.
1t resulted from the following facts:
The 9th inst. the principal of
school punished Kiowa pupil for some
misconduct. Immediately afterward
the boy persuaded two other Indian
pupils to run away from the school with
him. Their absence was noticed that
evening, but the principal supposed
that they had gone to the camp of
the refractory boys parents, which
was two miles distant. Saturday
morning the teacher went in pursuit of
the truants, but they were not to be
found. Their parents were notified of
their absence and Indian friends were
started out in search of them. They
were found Sunday. The first one,
about ten years of age, some twenty
miles distant from tina school, and the
two others. three or four years older,
All had been frozen to death 1t is
supposed that the boys lost their way in
the heavy snow storm which began
falling about 2 o'clock Saturday morn
ing and persisted in the snow. AS soon
as the principal of the school learned of
the sad fate of his scholars, fearing the
vengeance of Indians, he left
that locality for parts unknown
and has not since been heard from.
A report was brought here to-day by
the Fort Sill stage driver, who passed
through Anadorka to-day, that 400 or
500 angry Indians were camped in the
vicinity of the agency, and are threat
ening to burn the school building, and
to kill the principal, if he can be found.
An application has been made to the
commanding officer at Fort Sill for
troops, to prevent any outbreak.