The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-29
HE MORNING SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 49, 189sxTEEN PAGES

lines, Whenever I am tempted TO invest
money in any new and promising enter
prise, represented by man wearing a hard
ware store diamond, and using flow Of
sanguine and persuasive Wall street Ian
gusge. THERE'S nothing have that awakens
sadder thoughts or more effectuaily closes
up the pores OF my wallet, than that stock
certificate. unless 1t is the stub Of an old
checkbook that keep in the same drawer"
WI hat are you going to do with the
stockFn
Il was thinking of using it for a gun
wad, II should ever meet the financial
genius who persuaded me TO invest in the
thing"
"I think might be able TO get you a few
cents on the dollar for itn
what would any one want it forl Why,
man, it has no value. II never will have
any, and know It. 1t is as worthless as
last years election ballot"
well, what it's wanted for, Is no con-
Germ OF yours, but / don't mind telling.
have client who wants 1t because bis as
sets do not equal his liabilities"
why; if be buys this he will have less
assets than before
Don't you understand He Is about TO
make an assignment, and Is wouldn't look
right to show such a small amount of as
sets TO such large amount of liabilities.
This stock would be nominal asset and
would show up well on the schedule. o, its
a common thing 10 do. | constantly find
people who are short of nominal assets, aud
it is my business 10 provide assets for them
as cheaply as possible"
l declined being a party to the swindle
From what the broker told me, gather that
It is an every day thing for business men wno
are about TO fail, TO buy, for a few dollars,
worthless stocks, the face value of which
represents large sums.
This probably accounts for the good show.
ing so often made by innocent firms, whose
schedules show an excess OF nominal assets
over liabilities. IL also probably accounts
tor the tremendous shrinkage in promised
dividends, and the fact that creditors often
realize only a few cents on the dollar, al
though they were comforted at the time of
the failure by the statement that 1.-THE assets
would show that creditors will eventually
be paid In full aud no one will lose q
dollar"
Don't imagine that am trying to show
that all brokers are dishonest or queer.
There are, In the business, many honest
men who would not be guilty of misrepre-
senting, even in the slightest degree, any
thing they have to offer But this is a
wicked world. and one feels like saying
with the old quaker: IAN men are dishonest
except thee and me, and l think thee are a
little tricky myself"
Our language lacks word that can be
used in the beginning OF a letter to an un-
married lady with whom we have no ac~
quaintance. Or TO whom we are address
ing q business communication. For a
married lady we have MADAM" or we
may say Dear Madam" and men, mar
rie1 or single, we can address as Sir" or
"Dear Sir" but "Miss," or "Dear Miss -
would be awful, and we cannot say Dear
Miss Jones' unless our acquaintance with
the lady justihes us in dog son.
There should also be something attached
TO Jenny o. Jones' name, when signed to a
letter TO indicate to us whether we should
address a reply TO "Mrs. Jenny o. jones' or
to Miss Jenny o. Jones"
Why is il, l wonder, that 1t is not cons
sidered necessary, In any language, 30 give
a man a title to indicate that he is married
while In almost all languages the woman
has title that advises US of the fact that
she is, or has been married. Miss becomes
Mrs, Senorita becomes Sonora, Mademoi-
seile is Madame after she is married.
This may have originated in desire to
prevent men from making MISTAKES, but
why shouldn't there be something in the
title of Mr.. Smith TO indicate to women
when Smith is introduced to them that he Is
married or singles
There is another thing. We need som,
handy title to use when we are speaking tC
men with whose names we are not &C.
quainted. / mean in the sense IN which
Monsieur is need in French and Senior 10
! Spanish. We cannot say Eyes, Mr." or
Mr., are you going up town.
In the south we have nearly what is
needed. Colonel" and Judge" fit almost
any one there. II you don't remember q
mans name you can shake his hand warmly,
and say How do you do, Colonelg" or
why. Judge, I'm glad to see you," and he
will not suspect that you have forgotten his
name; you cannot use "Mr" in that way,
and it is an atrocious word, In sound, NO
matter how 1t is used.
do not aspire to reform the English
language, but there may be an embryo re
former laying around somewhere, and
throw out these suggestions to be acted
onby him, when he begins his crusade Of
! reformation. j. Annoy KNOX.
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