davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
A Parrot Policeman.

We can easily believe that some par
rots are as good as policemen. Not long
ago two young men sold parrot to the
wife of q night Waterman In New York.
A few nights afterward one Of the
young men visited the house with the
intention to steal the parrot he had sold,
but the bird shricked out: Papa, pa
pa!' until it woke the mistress and
frightened away the robber. A Chicago
parrot also scared q burglar. He was
trying to gain an entrance into the
house by the dining-room window, when
he was startled by voice that asked
him to ''come off the perch" Long
silence ensued, and the burglar began
work again. This time a sepulchral
voice cried: you'd better go away!"
The rogue dropped his tools at once and
fed, with his hair fairly standing up on
end.-Aolden Days.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
ONE CONSIDERABLE GIRL.
She Was Mad when She Saw What
Chance She Had Missed.

She Was Mad when She Saw What A
Chance She Had Missed.
Says q clever woman: A maiden
whom I know was both a Bohemian
and a conscientious creature, and she
felt annoyed when q young man called
for her in n carriage. She had met him
at friends house, and for the sake of
the friend had accepted the invitation
to theater matinee; but she only knew
of him as young lawyer. and they are
not rich as rule. The seats in the thea
ter were the best, and the carriage await
ed them at the close of the play. "Why
will men be SO foolish?" she thought.
adding to herself that society girls
ought to be ashamed of themselves to
force men into habits Of such extrava-
gance. The worst of it all was that
before he directed the driver he asked
the girl which of two costly restaurants
she would prefer. One was famous for
ices and the other for more substantial
refreshments. have said she was b.
hemian--cnough SO to be ready for
spring chicken or chops after the the
alter. II left to herself she would have
chosen some unpretentious place;
but no, It was either the most
expensive ice or the most
expensive supper. She Raspcd and he
roically chose the cold alternative
There she ate three frozen buildings, to
her escorts horror and her own peril.
She didn't intend to have his whole
months earnings spent on that one
evening for her, though. Then she
found out, after it was all over, that he
was the son of the richest sort Of .
bondholder, and that he just had an Of
fec and was lawyer for amusement,
upon which she could have bitten off
her own tongue and lunched on that. .
Chicago Journal.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
ENvIOUS or AMERICAN GIRL g..
Some Of the Things the Women Pat Up
With In Japan.

Some Of tho Things the Women Put Up
With In Japan.
During my recent visit to Japan, says
Henry I. Finck, several girls told me
how glad they would be il they had the
opportunity and means to go to Amer
lea. They had probably heard Of the
United States as being the paradise of
women, and felt that Japan was not
exactly an earthly Eden for them.
Americans call pretty girls angels,
and adore them as goddesses. The
japanese, on the contrary, compare
men with Heaven and women with
earth. Probably no foreigner" knows
the Japanese as thoroughly as Mr.. Basil
Hall Chamberlain, who has been profess
sor Of philosophy at the university Of
Toxic. Most Japanese men," he says,
''even in this very year Of grace 1890.
make no secret Of their disdain for the
female sex. The way in which they are
treated by the men has hitherto been
such as might cause q pang to any gen.
erous European heart"
This contempt for women Is shown in
the minutest details Of life. as for ex-
ample in mourning etiquette. which
prescribes that animal food should be
abstained from and mourning garments
worn for one hundred days in case Of
paternal grandfather, but only ninety
days in case of maternal grandfather.
ninety days for paternal uncle, but
only thirty days for one on the mater
nal side, etc.
According to the Greater Learning
for Women" there are five feminine
vices which four women of every five
Observation-Disclosures malice, Islander,
jealousy and stupidity-whence arises
their inferiority to man. Every woman's
four possible virtues are such as chiefly
benefit man--gentle obedience, chastity,
mercy and quietness.
A japanese Buddhist text says that
"A woman's exterior is that of saint,
but her heart is that of demon"
Every tourist who has visited Japan
will agree as to the malicious falscness
of these ungallant remarks on the gen.
tie, courteous, sweet and graceful lit
tie women of the island empire.
It is not easy to observe these women
in their homes, because it is not the GUS
tom among the Japanese to invite
friends, least of all foreigners, to their
houses to dinner, tea-houses being al
ways chosen for such a purpose; but in
these tea-houses tourists have opportu-
nifty abundant to discover and resent
the untruthfulness of the charge that
these low and aggravating girls have
had no proper education; they are
stupid, obstinate and vulgar In their
speech" which is brought against the
poor hand-maidens. whom he, on the
contrary, always finds ready to serve
him, ever smiling. and even willing to
fan him on sultry summer afternoon.
Imagine an American waiter girl do
ing such q thing.-N. Y. Continent.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
"You Press tho Butten."

A curious costume for London fogs is
said to be the invention of an American
visitor, and is to be made Of light water
proof cloth, to protect the wearer from
the damp Of the fog. 1t is to be CON-
pact and comfortable in cut and fur
nished with buttons the size of half
crown piece. The whole brilliancy OF
the new garment lies in the buttons,
which will be really tiny electric lamps
connected with miniature battery con-
cealed in the dress, after the style OF
those used by fairies in the pantomimes.
A soft toque, with lamp in front, is de-
sirable, but not necessary, to complete
the fog costume, which can be lighted
up as occasion demands.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02

York does not warp their good judg.
ment and common sense. One Of these
is my friend Sykes, who keeps q
grocery on the corner. He grew e1o.
quent on this subject the other day.
.'Thcy are bad lot, and I can see no
improvement" nc said. ''Thc new
policeman on the beat is very much
like the old one. He was on the beat,
too, all the time. | was in court one
day, and the justice asked the police
man who made the arrest II the pris-
oncr, who was terribly beaten, had re.
sisted arrest. The reply was that he
had not, but had come right along to
the station house. Then why did you
beat him that way" asked the justice.
What else have got o club for"
asked this officer of the law.
another thing" continued Sykes,
''they don't enforce the law. On Sun
day it is as easy to get beer rs on am.
other day. There is nothing SO sight.
less as New York policeman on Sur
day in front of saloon that has pre-
lection And at night, when they
ought TO be looking ont for thieves,
they are asleep. When they are not
wrapped in slumber they are rappilg
people on the head. However" added
Sykes, "thcrc is one policeman in New
York who is q model in all respects"
docs he never drink to cxcess?" I
asked.
HE never touches drop"
'sNevcr INDUCES In reckless cub
bing?"
.'Hc has never raised his club against
anybody yet; he is always neat IN his
dress; never firts with the girls; never,
since he has been on the force. has q
charge been made against him."
"Where is this wonderful officer Of
the law? I'd like to see him."
''Then 60 around to the Eden Musce.
He is made of wax" ALEX E. SWEET.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
THE USE OF CONDIMENTS.

When Used In Moderation They are Con
adhered Beneficial to Health.
Many articles of common use pos
sess medicinal properties in marked
degree that should be known in the In
terest of health, SO that the housewives
can second the intentions Of physicians
in behalf of their patients progress
toward recovery. As matter of fact,
the earliest remedies recorded - en-
ployed by medical men were vege-
table. the result of chemical expert
ments; and the most active poisons are
of vegetable origin. With the excep-
ton Of arsenic, the poisons most fire.
quently used by criminals ara
vegetable, and SO have been
for ages; and, singularly enough,
and condiments are poisonous If taken
in sufficient quantities. This fact has
been noted in connection with nutmeg.
and Tanner and Christison say that
even common salt has been known to
cause death when taken as . vermifuge
When used in moderation all condiments
have stimulating effect upon the en-
tire elementary system; they tend to
equalize digestion by promoting tho
flow of the gastric juices, and they add
to the enjoyment of food by gratifying
the palate.
The evil attributed to condiments is
more or less fanciful one; in any case
it arises from the abuse of them. Chill
dren need but little stimulating matter
mingled with their food, moderate
quantity of salt and very little II any
pepper being all that is required for
SAVIOR. hut adults can use the many
kinds to advantage, as is proven by the
above consideration of their properties.
As matter Of fact, q great deal Of mis-
chief is done by people of a single idea,
who disregard all evidence save what
they consider the proof of their own
senses, and try to At large and varied
conditions within their narrow lines. II
they fancy that pepper Injuries their
little stomachs, straightway all the rest
Of the world is to forswear its use. II
salt has lost its SAVIOR for them, they
set about transforming our most de-
lcctable plats into messes as insipid as
their small theories. May Heaven en-
dow all such rcformers with the desire
to charge upon their own windmills,
and leave our sails to be waited by the
winds of common sense.-Juliet Corson,
in Harper's Bazaar.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
Inexpensive Charlotte Russo.

Line wcll-buttered, plain, round
mold with sponge finger biscuits cut to
fit. The top of tho mold is lined in the
same way, or, If preferred, it can be
decorated with any dried or glace fruit
that may he handy. Melt one-half
ounce Of sheet gelatinc in wineglass-
with half pint of cream whipped to a
stiff froth, full spoonful Of powdered
sugar, and half teaspoonful Of any
davoring essence you plcasc-the guam
tity of this depends on the freshness
and strength of the essence. Pour the
mixture gently into the lined mold and
set it aside on ice or in q cool place till
set. which it will be in few hours.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
AN OLD JEWISH CUSTOM.
Tspers Kept Burning In Memory Of the
Dead.

Tspers Kept Burning In Memory Of the
Dead.
At the home of well-known Jewish
citizen was recently seen q tiny flame
burning in handsome goblet Exam
ination showed the goblet to be half
filled with water, on the top of which
floated about an inch of pure olive oil.
A miniature float of corks, fastened on
either side of metallic ring, rested
upon the oil. On the ring was placed q
wax taper. hardly thicker than q thread,
passing through a small circle of thin
wood, SO that the lower end of the
thread dipped through the ring into the
olive oil. The upper end of the taper
was lighted as above mentioned. The
oil drawn up through the wax-covered
taper served to keep it alight for sever
al hours. I'VE burn this" said the
lady of the house, ''in memory of one
of our dead. When that taper burns
nearly out we will substitute another,
SO that the flame, like the vestal fire,
never goes out. We light the taper
when our relative dies and let it burn .
year, the last one being allowed to
burn out. We attend to these lights
with great care, thus keeping alive the
memory of our loved one. 1t is an old
custom of ours, and one seldom now
observed. Some burn it only for p
week, while others burn it for meath.
Our family adheres to the custom in all
its purity, always keeping the flame
alive for year. st. Louis Republic.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02

Through experiments made by Eng
lish military authorities it has been
found that whenever the atmosphere
is laden with smoke or mist the power
of an electric light is greatly dimin-
ished by crossing the beam Of light by
that of another at q certain angle. At
the point of intersection the illuminated
space is practically made . screen. 1t
is proposed to utilize this knowledge,
since the electric beam can thus be
made to serve as q screen, back OF
which tactical operations might be con-
Quoted in secret.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
clearinghouse English.

lived at q boarding house some
years ago and sat at the same table
with lady and gentleman whom the
world would term nouveau richie. The
gentleman was very fond of relating
the adventures of his youth, and would
do SO in terms more picturesque than
grammatical. One day came tale of
an orchard robbery.
IL clumb the tree" said he, sand"
"You mustn't say clumb. interrupted
his superior two quarters, ''you should
say clamb." The story was never
finished. N. Y. Telegram.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
Misorics Of Wealth.

Mr.. Pinchpenny-I worked and
shaved many long year for my money,
only to find at last that wealth does
not bring happiness.
Mr.. Slimpurse-Doesn't 1t?
Mr.. Pinchpenny-No. / can't spend
q dollar without putting money into
some one else's pocket.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
souELCAiNG A TERROR.
He Was Deadly. hut He Didn't Want
Meet sSawcd-OM."

He Was Deadly. Hut He Didn't Want to
Meet "Sawed-OH."
Among the passengers who landed in
Detroit from western train the other
morning was q young man wearing .
cowboy hat, bcarskin overcoat, the
claw of the grizzly bear as breast pin,
and other outward tokens of being .
terror from the far west. As he hung
around to make some inquiries, Officer
Button queried of him:
From Colorado?"
mo, from Montana"
"You can shoot, throw the lasso and
use the bowie-knife, supposc?"
Certainly can"
"Killed your MANI"
"Three of EN-"
"Going to stop over?"
"Yes, for few hours. I've heard a
good deal about Detroit and want to see
the town"
Yes. Let me give you a pointer.
We've got little bit of sawed-off man
in town who had one of his ears sliced
off by a western tough. He does moth
ing but walk around and look for chaps
of your build. When he finds one he
lights right on to him, and it's good bye
tough"
mol"
'.Sure as shooting. He's done up
seven or eight in month. If you 60 up
town leave all those things in the pack
age room. If you don't, II he catches
sight of that hat or overcoat or bears.
claw you'll be goner."
'Do the authorities allow him to hop
on to people that way?"
They can't help themselves. I'm
giving you friendly tip Look out for
sawed-off."
The man sat down to think it over,
came to decision after a while, and
got into Q seat in corner Of the room
and sat there five long hours before he
got his train further east,-Detroit Free
Press.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
A ConaOlin1 RaflectIOfn.

At the end of of life we discover that
we have passed nearly one-half Of it IN
being happy without realizing it. and
the other half In imagining that W,
were uiseyable.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
Nh Hnraa Mt All.

Tourist lin Montana village)-Th;s +
rather one-horse town, isn't it?
Eative-'T amt even that. There was
\ cloudburst here last week, an the
only horse In the place got drowned
Light
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
NEW YORK LETTER.
What Alex. e. Sweet Knows About
Gotham Policemen.
they Are Not ~ Innocent and vniOrous
As the Daily Papers Clatm-GOOd
Policemen. Like Good Indians,
Are All Dead.
lspeciai New York Correspondence

AN " I'LL III
tents and pur-
poses a New
Yorker. / have
lived here con-
tinuously I or
the p a $ : six
years. At stated
intervals / have
been incarccr-
ated in the jury
box. Every year
l am mulcted,
actually mulct-
ed, for xes
with which to
carry on I h e
city go c r n
mcnt. ! am no
longer as inno-
cent as when !
Il rSt arrived
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
Honor Enough.

Relative-And 40 you have graduateif
Did you take any OF the pri:es9
FAIR student--N.o, but | got the biz,
gsst bouquet --lood Nova
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02
Very Long.

II tell you, Dauber, art is long"
you've found that out, eh?"
Eyes; l went to see panorama this
morning. Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02

-Carruthers-"It takes q great deal
Of urging to get Miss Pruyn to sing
Waite-"Yes; but it can be done.
What want to learn is how 10 stop
her once she gets started. '--Harpeg's
Bazaar.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-07-02

--Teacher-"What advantage had the
Romans over us2" Scholar-"They did
not hare to learn what we must about
them <~Orakss Magazine,
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-01-21
KALAKAUA,s DEATH.

The death of Kalakaua, the king of the
Sandwich Islands, which occurred yester-
day at San Francisco, is likely to have
very important political consequences,
affecting the future of the islands in their
relationship to this country. It is
more than possible that the United
states viii be called upon TO assume q
protectorate, if not, indeed, to accept even
closer relationship. On general prin-
ciples this would be an unfortunate thing,
but it may become an absolute necessity
as means of protection to American
commerce as it is connected with the
islands. If it should become necessary for
the United States or some other nation to
take charge of the islands, then, of course,
there would remain but one course to fol-
low. The interests of America in the
islands are too vast and important to per-
NIT any other nation with safety to be-
come their master.
Our system contains no provision by
which a country like the Sandwich Islands
could be held in subordinate status, while
on the other hand it would be extremely
unwise, for many clearly manifest reasons,
to create these islands into Pacific state
1t the necessity for assuming control of
the islands shall be forced upon US, their
possession will make a new and most
yexatious problem.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-01-21
HUM OF THE HUMORIsTs.

"There are only about twenty really great dia-
monds in the world" The most remarkable
thing about them is that no less than twenty
minstrel end men, thirty-seven comedians and
Ill .'stars' each have one OF the twenty. Some
OF the others are owned by ordinary people and
summer-resort hotel clerks.-Norristosrn Herald
'You say you truly love me" began the young
girl; show much, sir?" But Alfred T. CagsimeI
was too happy for rational conversation. "A
dollar eighty-four, please. Shall wrap 1t up?'
he mu7mured, mechanically.-Smith, Gray
Co.'S Weekly.
"Of course" said the embarrassed statesman,
"my parents did what they thought would be
most to my advantage when they gave me an
education, but they made great mistake when
they taught me to write. "-Wnshington Post.
Cobble-How are you getting on with your
reading at the library? see you go around
there every day as regular as clock-work. Stone
u am making fair progress, but 1 haven't been
introduced to her yet.-Brooktyn Life.
The sensational report that old Sit was the
Legitimate SON of John Bull is absolutely with
out foundation. Ole, John and Sitting were In
no way related to each other.-BM Nye.
Aunt Mary-Now, Jennie, let me see whether
you know your lesson. Tell me who first dis
covered whalebone? "Jonah, guess."-Lgc.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-01-21
DEPLORABLE SCENES,

The scenes witnessed at Olympia on
Monday and yesterday are calculated To
dishearten and disgust every right-minded
citizen of this young state, and to incense
as well all true Republicans possessed of
self-respect and respect for their party. 1t
Is due to the reputation of the state that
citizens, irrespective of party, shall give
emphatic expression of their condemnation
of such proceedings, and the future welfare
of the party in this state imperatiyely de-
mands that this course shall he pursued by
its reputable newspapers and membership
throughout the state.
The world must be given TO understand
and that promptly and emphatically. that
anarchic tendencies do not prevail in this
state OF Washington; that the halls OF leg
islation and the state capitol cannot be
with impunity converted into bear gar
den and scenes of mob violence: that the
highest fayors of the state and its repre-
sentation IN the highest branch of the ma
tional legislature cannot be made the sub
jeots of bribery and corruption.
Ii will be. remembered that the riotous
and disgraceful proceedings on Monday
had for their only incentive the announce
ment that of the ninety Republicans in
the legislature ifty-seven had signed an
agreement TO so into caucus for the selec-
ton of party nominee for United States
Senator. To take that course is the usual
and almost invariable proceeding in such
cases. Ii is in the interest of harmony
within the party and the prompt dispatch
of business as representatives of the state.
That twenty-three or even three should
have declined or hesitated could only he
regarded as reflection upon the breadth
and fraternal spirit of their attachment 70
their party.
But the scene of yesterday presents
| even graver and more humiliatinr
aspect. In the former case some allow
ance might he made for passion. for hot
| blood, and for an overpowering intensity
| OF factionism. But no such allowance. nor
any allowance, can be offered in extenua-
| ton of the crimes alleged in the course of
| yesterdays proceedings in the legislature.
There can he no greater crime against
representative government, no form of
moral treason more damnable than il
committed by him who enters the legisla-
tive .halls, hribe in hand, 10 corrupt the
representatives of the people. When such
corruption merely takes the form OF effect
ing legislation favorable to local or indi-
vidual interests it is Infamous. but when
designed 20 influence or control the states
representation in the highest branch Of
the nations councils. it is incomparahly
more so.
Reports from various states have made
the public painfully familiar with allega-
tons of such proceedings, bat the fire.
quency of such reports has in no degree
dulled the public conscience to the enorni-
~ of the ofense nor disposed the people to
eondone them. The charges made at olym-
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-01-21

wiping out of several goodly fortunes, even
in these days of many millionaires.
When it is considered that these stun
ming figures apply to but one branch of the
transportation business, and that this in
turn is but one of great number OF the
great business interests of the country, one
begins to realize what an immense country
it is, and how stupendous are its interests,
activities and progress. And even these
figures dwindle into insignificance when
compared with the apparent certainties of
a not distant future, if peace and prosper
ity shall be maintained. For it must be
remembered that less than 40 per cent. of
the total railroad mileage paid dividends
last year, which percentage is bound to in
crease rapidly as the now sparsely settled
West shall fill.up.