The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-10-14
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

for you and lose the case, / get nothing.
If ! win, you get nothing"
ROllo Paw, how old was Moses when
he died? Paw-One hundred and
twenty years, my son. Rollo What
was his business? Paw-Boy preach
er.
Mrs. Colonel Blood-How dreadful |!
A Paducah man drank quart Of whis-
key on a wager and dropped dead. Col.
Blood (indignantly)-Some scoundrel
must have put poison in it.
The judge commit you 10 ja.! for
one day. sir, for contempt Of court. I'm
abashed Lawyer-Better make IL a
month, your honor: | could not get ov-
er my contempt in less time.
The Kind Little Boy: Old Lady (to
little boy caressing a dOg)-That's
right, sonny; always be kind TO dumb
animals. Little Boy -Yessum I'm
gittin' him quiet SOS | KIN hitch kit
tie to his tail.
Lord BacOn's Crime: At a public
school exhibition one Of the questions
asked was, with what crime was Lord
Bacon charged?" to which one of the
lads replied as if by inspiration: with
writing Shakespeare's plays"
There are no moral blanks. there are
no neutral characters. We are either
the sower thai sows and corrupts, or
the hight that splendidly illuminates
md the salt that silently operates; but
dead or alive every man speaks
Chalmers.
Correct Diagnosis: DR.. Bolus (exam-
inlng intoxicated citizen on floor Of sta
ton house)-Thls man has evidently
been drugged. Officer HoOlihan Right |
We are, dOcther. It's meself that drug
him all the way from Bintley's saloon
on Tinth sthreet.
An Alarming Sign: DR. Dosum-I
Well. Smith, how's your wife? Smith
-Wuss, Pm feared. sir. DIR. Dosum
Indeed! Mind confused? Smith
No, l never knowed her so sensible,
but that's what I'm feared of. She's
Onnaterally sensible.
Emptiness Of the Napkin: An Eng
hsh nOblelnan, who had engaged Rev.
;'aNland lIill to take charge Of his sons
elnc9'ion. wrote: "The boy has talents.
bu, I've hides them in a napkin" A
lvw weeks later the candid preacher
sent ;he lad beck with this pointed mes
sage: 81 have shaken the napkin at
all corners aud found nothing in it."
Pats Stunning Retort: A backwoods
Judge. rooming with an Irish laborer IN
a Kansas farmhouse, said condescend-
ingly: "You would have stayed q long
Time in the old country before you would
hive slept with a judge, my friend"
"Yes," replied the son of Erin, land it's
a long time ye'd have been in the ould
country. me by, before ye'd been
judge"
No wonder the features of Andrew
Jackson are unfamiliar to the American
people. His portrait is engraved upon
the $1,000 bills. Why, we wouldn't
know the blessed old gentleman if we
we're 10 meet him in the public road
P. S Ethel tells us his picture Is also
On the 81 notes. Can't help it. We've
nothing to take back. He's just as
great a stranger as ever.-DHrtette.
The Conference Grieved: Alta Meth
,dist conference in Texas lay delegate
lrose and said that in all previous
meetings he had kept silent because )
MS wife desired it. "But now" said
he, ''she has been called hence and l J
propose to exercise my liberty" Be .
ore the brother had spoken ten min !
ties, adds the reporter, the entire con- Z
erence mourned over the death Of the [
ady as over the loss Of personal friend.
What | must do is all that concerns
ne, not what people think. This rule, .
,qually arduous IN actual and in INTEL ,
ectual life, may serve for the whole dis /
incuon between greatness and mean '
less. 1t is the harder because you will ,
llways find those who think they know /
What is your duty better than you know :
I. 1t is easy in the world to live after I
he worlds opinion it is easy in soil
ude to live after our own; but the
,reat man is he who in the midst Of the
.rowd keeps with perfect sweetness the
Of solitude.-EmerSOH.
The youth had asked him for the ;
iand Of his daughter, and a pang wrung z
he fathers heart at the thought Of q
,arting with his child.
at IS natural, i suppose, for the young
,irds to leave the parental nest" he :
ighed, "and 90 off with their chosen :
mates yet, Oliver, it hurts TO see one !,
{ my Aedglings getting ready to fly o
way" q
"This seems to be a goOd-sized nest" a
uggested Oliver, anxious to soften the 4
low perhaps you'd rather have me n
nd Alyira stay right here. e."-ChicdgO y
Tribune.
Oh, it is piteous-the sorrow Of aged
vomen! In early youth perhaps, they q
aid to themselves, Il shall be happy ''
Fhen / have husband TO love me best e
{ all !" then, when the husband too =
as careless, "My child will comfort - !,
10 ~ then through the raothar,a watch -