Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-18
GLOOM DISPELERS.


GLOOM DISPELERS.
The tombstone is about the only
hing that can stand upright and lie on
face at the same time. me.-Te,Te Rdme
Express.
Every man has his role in life, es-
pecially the man who tries to ride the
0ucl1ing mule at the circus
ton Free Press.
Truth crushed TO earth will rise
lgain, but by that time the funeral Of
some ones character is all over.
-Jamestotcn Nel0s.
Before offering yourself to the
plump-loohng toboggan girl you met
last winter, perhaps it would be es
well TO wait until you see her on the
beach this summer.-LVe.
The widow is less selfish than the
maiden, for, while the latter is always
looking out for No. /, she is satisfied
in watching for No, 2.-Tonkers
Statesman.
MY dear" said Mr.. Phunnyman,
''why is the Prince of Wales a geo.
graphical paradox?" 'Give 1t up"
"Why, because he is allowed so much
Latitude that he is without a parallel. /"
Philadelphia Press.
Alas for humidity,
Lack of rigidity
Under the sun,
Oh, It was pitiful,
Near whole citytul,
Not starched one.
-Clothfer and FurRishsr.
A Strong Recommendation
mani wart to employ a good strong
man TO wheel brick. Have you been
engaged in work that would harden
your mnscles3
Applicant-Yes, sir. I've been en-
ployed in Wheeling West Virginia a.
Omaha World,
The story of Alice and George
No, George; you must not put yonr
arm around my waist,
George-Be careful, Alice.
Alice-Careful! What do you mean
George-Haveu't you heard that will
ful waist makes a woful want ?-Lac-
renee American.
Tom-Hello. Tagg, What's that
sign on your front door for, "No ad-
mittance Except on Businesss"
Tagg There have been SO many
young men calling on my daughters,
and their visits have been so fruitless
that have adopted this means to re-
duce the surplus Yankee Blade.
Smith Il think Miss De Blank is
very rude.
Jones-What causes you think that ?
I never thought her so.
Smith, met her down town this
afternoon and asked if might see her
home. She said yes; l could see it
from the top of the high school build
ing, and that it wasn't necessary to 90
any further Omaha World.
They were seated in the parlor and
he was declaring his love In fervent
tones. All at once she stopped him
with an imperious gesture, and look
of pain overspread her countenance.
"waitI wait!" she exclaimed in
short, sharp tones,
In a moment ths sneeze came, aud
Heloise, looking tenderly up into hi.
face, said; Gas you were saying
George !"-Judge.
visitor-You say this ruined castle
is haunted?
Guide-Undoubtedly. The spectre
can be seen almost every night.
"It is probably the ghost Of some
robber."
"No, it is the ghost of al actor, who
neglected while living to have himself
photographed In his favorite role, and
who consequently cannot rest in his
Fun.
The Price of Royalty.-Mrs. Smith
Yes, my daughter Lucy married
blacksmith, and they have a nice home
and are getting along nicely. Mary
married but her and is very comfort
ably provided for. Jennie married q
section hand and they are happily sit-
uated.
Mrs. Jone5-And your daughter
Gladysf
Mrs. Smith-Alas. she married
foreign nobleman. l send her 90 per
week and some discarded dresses, and
by taking in washing she manages to
support the family Omaha World,
The highest price ever paid for book
it Is laid WAS $4,000,