Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-08-13

THEIR CONSOLATION.
Thank heaven, the folks who cannot
wing
Their fight to cooling fountains,
Can fan themselves aud mcekly sing:
From Greenland's icy mountains"
Il ATLANTA Constitution.
"TwELvE GooD MEN AND TRUE"
Hawkins-You were on the jury In
the murder trial, weren't your What
was the verdict
Lambson-Acquittal.
'rIn spite of such evidenced What ex-
cuse had you?"
"What! All of youl'-'1Kate Fields
Washington.
HIS SHINING VIRTUE.
al have got boy" said the proud
father. "who is destined one day 10 shine
brilliantly in the politica, armament.
''Shows an aptitude for statecraft,
does herr
"No, but he can't write letter. "-[St.
Joseph News.
ohb vas AW hhE VT lie
Oldbeau (rejected)-pd have you
know, Miss Scadds, that Pm no clam,
Miss Scadds-I know that, Mr. Old
beau. CLANS do not live to be 90 years
old.-[Epoch.
A GOOD OPINION OF HIMSELF.
Snodgrass (after Snively finishes fish
story)-Well. like liar!
Snively-You egotist!
NOT FISHING FOR SMALL FRY.
"where are you going, my pretty
"Pm going afshing, sir" she said.
"Then fish for me. my pretty maid"
~ have no minnow hook" she said.
New York Herald.
TOO GOOD TO DE TRUE.
Miss Amy-Shall l play Beethoven's
"Adieu to the Piano'"
Young Dolley (eagerly)-Do you really
mean it2-[Argosy.
HIS GREAT SORROW.
"Poor man !" exclaimed the impulsive.
warm-hearted lady, ''you look as il you
had known some SORROW"
"You are right. num-" answered the
battered tramp. gratefully accepting the
doughnuts and bowl of fresh milk, ~
have"
"SIay ask what it ISL"
IufY.'' n lost both parents when was
nothin' but a small boy"
Had you no friendsr
"Yes. mum. had an uncle. lived
with him until was good sized chunk
OF boy. and then he died"
"And had you no other friends"
'Only an aunt. mum. went to live
with her next. Twas very happy at my
aunt's. tili-till--"
Don't speak of it. my poor man, II
it awakens painful memories
eft breaks me all up, mum: but there's
worse TO come. My aunt-she-"
"Diedw
"No. She was q widow. nv aunt was.
YOU know. and she set up aud married
again. Married mean. stingy, ornery
cuss Of man. He drove me out of the
house before he had been there three
weeks"
"And them"
"And then. num-" said the detected
torting his face at the recollection. Il
had to 20 to work, "-IChicago Tribune.
COLD COMFORT.
A coupe from the humber walks OF
life came before justice of the peace to
be married when. the ceremony being
over. the. bride began to weep copiously.
"Whats the matterl" asked the new
husband ~ never told you that don't
know how to cook" sobbed the bride.
Don't fret. I'll not have ANYTHING to
cook. I'm poet. "-ITexas Siftings.
INSANITY IN THE FAMILY.
Doctor-Your husband appears to be
run down, anxious. and overworked:
but sec no signs of insanity.
Mrs DcFashion I'm sure he Is in
dancer OF it. Insanity runs in his fam
lily, you know.
"Does III"
Eyes. indeed. Two Of his sisters had
chances to marry rich men, and then
married poor ones. VI New York Week
ly. s}r
'' VERY DULL.
Sadi--Anything new, dear2
HelenANo. things are dreadfully dull.
Lam engaged to that little monkey De
Saplets again. Epoch. sasN
1T ALL DEFENDS.
"what do you conceive to be the
chief end of man, doctorl" asked the
Freshman.
"well." returned the profe ssor
thoughtfully, ''it all depends II you
are going In for scholarships. I should
say the head; II for football honors. the
foot is the end TO be cultivated. -
[Bazar.
DULLPATE's STORY.
Dullpate (proudly)-Every one laughed
when l told that funny story at the
table.
Miss Brighteye-Yes Il was real
mean Of them 10 LAUGH nj Won -rCood