davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06
4 IS WEALTH.

Or. e.. G.. Vests Nerve and Brain Treatment,
2 guaranteed specific for .Hysteria, Dizz,n So.
Cenyulsions, Fits. Nervous Neuralgia, Headache,
Nervous Prcstration caused by the use Ut alcohol
Or tobacco, WAkefulness, Mental Depress n,
Sottsning OF the Brain resulting in insanity and
lea ling to misery, decay and death, Premature
Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power IN either sex.
Involuntary Losses and Spermatorrhna caused
by over e~xertion Of the brain. self-abuse Or over
Indulgence. Each box contains n months treat.
mont, 81. 90 a box. or six boxes for $500 sent
ny mail prepaid on receipt of price.
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOTTLES
10 cure any case. With each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied with $500, Wa will
sond the purchaser our written guarantee to re.
fund the money il the treatment does not effect
a,cure. Guarantees, issued only by II. NJ. Par.
Chen G Co, druggists, sole agents, Helena. Mont
$500 REWARD
We will pay the above reward for any case o.
Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, In.
digestion, CONSTIPATION or Costiventea We cannot
Q ire with Vests Vegetable Liver Pills, whom the
directions are strictly complied with. They are
purely Vegetable and never fail to give ~sstisfac.
ton, Sugar Coated, Large boxes, containing
30 Pills, % cents. Beware of co1~terfeits aud
limitations. The genuine manufactured only, BY
Tux JOIN G. WEST COMPANY. Chicago. III. Sold
by II. NJ. Parchen l. Co, druggists. Helena.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

signature Of President Harrison on the Last
day OF the session. Capt. Smith and his
wife came IN to Washington TO look after
the claim. and they made many friends while
here. On 6aturdaya week $50 Capt. Smith
signed tho papers for ~ v76,000s and tho
%pneumqnin; and detpite the best attention
from his wife, son aid daughter, he'died IN
Friday Inst. Capt. Smith was still In his
prime. and the circumstances Of his death
were about AZ sad ~ could we'll DO imagined,
meeting his fate at the very moment that q
fortune for which he had bsen waiting and
In his haad.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06
FAST TIME.
Fifty Miles An Hour Schedule Time for
One Train,

- F
Fifty Miles An Hour Schedule Time for
One Train.
A correspondent asks The Railway Con-
ductor If there Is a train in the United
States that has a scheduled time OF fifty
miles per hour or more, for fifty miles OF
over; and to the inquiry we answer, yes,
there is; and though we know OF bnt one,
there may be others. Train No. 10 on the
New York division of the Pennsylvania
leaves Jersey City at Alb and arrives at
Philadelphia at 6.O5, making two
stops; the distance ia S9.76 miles,
though it is usually called ninety
miles. The running time of this train,
including the time consumed in the stops,
IS III minutes, which is almost 48 miles per
hour; 1t runs from Jersey City to Trenton
without a stop, the distance being So, rs
miles, in "a minutes, the arriving time
being 5:l7, which is a speed OF about 50
niles per hour. There are several
other trains that make the this run from
Jersey. City to Philadelphia in about two
hours. the mHjority exceeding two hours by
from two to ten minutes; the limited, max
ING, no stops ut all, makes it in one hour
and tfty-nine minutes, or seven minutes
more than No 10. which makes two stops,
one houf and fifty seven minutes. lfains
frequently exceed sixty miles per hour, and
it is likely that it is necessary for the above
trains to do so daily to make their schedule
time, though the one train noted above ia
the only one we know of where the
schedule time is fifty miles per hour for a
long distance. Some ten years ago the
statement was made that engines were in
process of construction for both the Penn
sylvania and the Bound Brook route that
would enable the schedule time to be made
sixty miles per hour. the assertion being
made that both roads would have trains in
the near future that would make the ninety
miles in ninety minutes. They have not
yet been placed on the schedule.
The Baltimore d Ohio has several trains
whose schedule time between Washington
and Baltimore is forty-fve minutes, which
~ rG boyr m'l ssa At me rate s OF dfty-fonr miles
any distance that we know Of is on the
d. Ohio, where the time of the
Royal Blaze" is, for a distance of a little
over three miles, at the rate of seyenty-two
miles per hour, and it is made. too.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

NJ
"You scounirei," yelled young Jacob Green
You kissed my wife upon the street,
l ought to knock you down."
THAT'S where you're wrong" good Brown replied,
~ kissed her; that I've not denied
but l Kissed her on the cl eek
and l did SO because she looked 80 handsome-
In the secret OF it?" ~
We'll" replied Green, : since you nsk it,
will tell .you; she Uses Dr.. Pierea's Fnvorito
night" wv"
An unhealthy woman is arely, II ever, bcsu-
hful, The peculiar diseast 9 to which 90 many
OF chS rex are subject, ale prolific causes Of
rnle. snllow, faces. blotch d with ~unsightly
pimples, dull, luotroless G 'es and cmaciated
FORMS. Women go Nfrict ed. can be perinn-
nently. cured by using Dt. Pierce's Favorito
Prescription; and with tho restoration of
health CONES that beautv which, combined
with good qualities Of hes d md heat, makes
women angels of loveline's.
" Favorite Prescription " is the only mcdi-
cine for women. sold by druggists. under a
positive. gsssTE ntee fr.m the manufactur-
ers, that II vail give satis1A ctiop II, every cnse,
or money Will be refunded. II 10 Q pOsitips
pectfc for leacorrhca, painful menatruation,
unnatural rtpprcsstons. Frolapsus or falling
OF tho womb. weak hnek. Rnteyeision, retro
version, bearing down sensations, chronic
congestion, Inflammation aud liberation Of
the womb.
wonLp's sDrsrEHsARY MEDICAL AssocrA-
zion, Manufacturers. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06
Late county Judge of Pc
Go East

Via Chicago and the popular Chicago, ST
Paul and Kansas City Railway. The thou
sands of people who annually leave the
Dakotae, Manitoba and the northwest fol
their old homes in Canada and he east viii.
able, speedy and exceedingly pleasant. Il
10 the banner line between Minneapolis OF
st. Paul and Chicago, and runs the finest
GAINS OF any road in the west. Only 13]<
hours between Minneapolis or st. Paul ana
Chicago. For particulars address /. b.
East Third street, st. Paul, Mimi. or w.
y. B~oussnbark, General Passenger aud
Ticket Agent. Chicago. Ill
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06
Take 1t Before Breakfast.

The great appetizer, tonic and liver regu.
!ator-positive specific for liver complaint,
in use for more than so years in England.
Bad taste in the mouth on arising in the
morning, dull pains in the head and back
OF the eyes, tired feeling, dizziness-syhin-
toms of liver complaint. aRemedy4-Drs
Henley's English Dandelion Tonic. Get
the genuine from our druggist TO. 81, and
take according to directions,
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06
His Fortune Brought NO Luo..

Claimants against the government are
Foverbially luckless, writes a Chicago Her.
d correspondent. No exception to the rule
found in the sad case of Capt. W. j. Smith
New Bedford, Mass. In the last days of
|%nrress, II bill was passed to reimburse
|lpt. Smith for several vessels that the
Pnited States government had seized md
ed in the war. The claim wns for $75, GOO,
ID It passed the senate and received the
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

The Bon Ton uses Chicago corn fed beeff
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

DR.. PIEHcE'S PELLETS . rsss;s,y o yss:;
laxative. or CathartIc, according to sisS 81
dose. by druggists. IS cents . Vial.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

DIR. A. G. Stoddart, of San Francisco, is
a guest at the New Merchants. The doctor
is one OF the best known visiting physicians
In Montana. and is a never firing worker,
which brings him success. ~ q
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-06

The Case Of fudge Frier, Who Suffered Thirty
Years.
SALEM, Ore, April 10.
thereby certify that I have been tronbled
with a disease of the stomach and kidneys
for the last thirty years and after USING four
boxes of the Oregon Kidney Tea 1 have
found great benefit and relief from it.
A. X. FRIER,
Late county Judge of Polk &C anty.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
A TELEGRAPHER AS KING,
Mademba 1. of Segon Promo ed to the
Throne from the Key

Mademba l. of Segon Promo ed to the
Throne from the Key.
A sudden favorable turn of fortune
does not always ALLEVIATE the lucky in
dividual from his habitual occupations.
This more or less wise saw is applica-
BILE to the case of the present king of
Segon, who was put on the throne of
his black kingdom by Col. Archinard,
when his royal predecessor, Ahmadou,
took to flight for his safety.
Mademba, the present monarch, is
native of the country over which he at
present rules, but was formerly con-
troller of telcgraphs at Senegal Be-
fore accepting his regal state, he made
it Il condition that his name should con-
tinue to be inscribed on the list of tele-
graph servitors, and that his situation
as king should be considered as sub
servient to that of his original employ
ment
Mademba must have learnt, either
by intuition or from acute observation,
that the lot of a monarch is less certain,
in these days, than the position of an
officer in the service of the ''postes ct
biographies" and so preferred to keep
in reserve what might one day prove to
be happy issue out of all his afflic-
tons.
lie has, no doubt, constantly one eye
on his throne and the other one of
memory on the Office of his former tel
egraphic exploits. Should the future
bring about for Mademba that change
which is in the modern order of things,
he may return to the tic-tic of his
former days with the right to add to
his title of preference that of ''ex-lling
of Segon."
Politeness in telegraphic offices, al
though once seriously complained of by
II. Guy de Maupassant, is generally
the rule. even with the ordinary en-
ployes; but should Mademba l. Of
Segon ever return to his Senegalian
bureau, his clients may expect to be
treated in right royal fashion by man
who never lost sight of business, even
when promoted to the honors of an
African throne. -Galignani Messenger,
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
CANINE UNDERSTANDING
A Dog That Showed His Intelligence With
His Tail.


His Tail.
There is Newfoundland dog. Lion
by name, which gives daily proof of his
comprehension of what is said to him.
A lady called on his mistress the other
day. During her cab Lion came in
rather slyly, lay down on the parlor
carpet and went to sleep. The CONVERSE
ton ran on, and the visitor said finally:
"What a handsome Newfoundland
you have!''
Lion opened his eyes.
Yes" said his mistress ''he is a very
good dog and takes excellent care of
the children"
Lion opened his other eye and waved
his tail complacently to and fro on the
carpet.
''When the baby goes out he always
goes with her, and l feel perfectly sure
that no harm can come to her." his mis-.
tress went on.
Lions tail thumped up and down vio-
lently on the carpet.
And he is so gentle to them all, and
such playmate and companion to them,
that we would not lake thousand dol
lars for him.
Lions tail now went up and down, to
and fro and round and round with great
and undisguised glee.
But" said the mistress, Lion has
one serious fault
Total subsistence of Lions tail, to-
gether with the appearance of an ex-
preston of great concern on his face.
lie will come in here with his dirty
fec: and lie down on the carpet, when /
have told him time and time again that
he mustn't do it,
Here Lion arose with an air of the ut
most detection and humiliation, and
skunk out of the room with his lately
exuberant tail totally restfallen.-New
Orleans States.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
THE PINK OF POLITENESS.
Old-Time Highwaymen AS Compared With
Modern Sand-Baggers,

Old-Time Highwaymen AS Compared With
Modern Sand-Baggers.
The modern highwayman doesn't
understand his business" said an old
traveller as he looked up from an ac-
count of a man being held up" Hes
brutal So"
do you want him to take off his hat
when he stops you?" he was asked. do
you want him to beg your pardon?"
80, no. You quite misunderstood me-
I'm not an admirer of Paul Clifford.
But why jar a mans nerves or mar his
beauty? Why hit him on the head with
a sand-bag or scare him to death by
jumping out at him from an alley?
Il was held up once in a way that
admired. No force, no serious shock to
the nervous system and no affected
courtesy. I've been in a good many
different countries and heard or read of
all the different methods, but for the
quiet and quick transaction of business
of that nature without any unnecessary
trimmings, commend me to the man
who got my watch.
He was sauntering along the street
ahead of me, quietly humming a tune.
He wasn't keeping in the shadow of the
buildings and he wasn't doing anything
else that was suspicious. He was Just
sauntering along with his arms folded
on his breast. | was walking faster,
and SO had to overtalle and pass him
| passed him on the left-that is, |
started to pass him on that side. When
| got even with him he said:
4 say"
1T was said quietly and didn't even
startle me. None of this absurd cour-
tcsy and nothing sensational in it. OF
course | looked toward him, and saw
the tip of a revolver resting on the
crook of his left elbow. His arms were
still folded, but had an idea that his
right hand was on the other end of the
revolver
Just take it easy, he added.
$50 | sauntered along with him. and
at his suggestion transferred my watch
and money to his pockets. Then he
said:
" Go on and don't look back
And went on and didn't look back
But always considered him man
VINO cOulu 90 JOB WIN neatneSS ara
dispatch, and without unnecessary
trouble and excitement. That wouldn't
have hurt man with heart disease. -
Chicago Times.
Doing Him Justice.
Irate Father-There' S one thing that's
wonderful about you.
Dudeson-Aw! What's that?
Irate Father-That spongey head
like yours doesn't absorb aay thing
Jury.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
WHY MEN CROSS THEIR LEGS.
Some Queer Characteristics of Men OF
Talent.

Talent.
Men generally cross their legs when
there is least pressure on their minds.
You will not very often find a man
actually engaged in business with his
legs crossed. The limbs at those times
are straighter than at any. other, be-
cause the mind and body work together.
A man engaged in auditing accounts
will seldom cross his legs: neither will
a man who is writing an article or who
is employed in. any manner where his
brain lis actively engaged. When at
work in a sitting posture the limbs
naturally extend to the floor in per-
fectly straight line. A man may cross
his legs if he is sitting in an office chair
discussing some proposition with an
other man, but the instant he becomes
really in earnest and perceives some
thing to be gained his limbs uncross,
he bends forward toward his neighbor
and begins to use his hands.
But these observations are made OF
mankind in general. There are par
ticular cases that are otherwise There
are certain men of distinguished talents
who when engaged in literary work,
twist their legs into intricate coils. One
of the most eminent dramatists in this
country never abandons himself to deep
thought without comforting his limbs,
which are long and slender, into kind
of angular scrOll-work under the table.
Another man, whose poems appearmost
frequently in the magazines, seems act
ually to wiring his emotions out of his
legs. as if they were sponges sopped in
the atflatus- However, there are ex-
ceptional cases of mannerisms by which
particular men of brains are insensibly
affected. Some men twist their boards
when they are in deep thought, others
scratch their heads abstractedlv, while
others, again, chew their finger nails.
To this absent-minded genius belongs
now and then man who cannot ponder
severely without making his legs ex-
press all the emotions of thought.-N.
y. Recorder.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
NO MlLLINER SHOP.
A Landlord Who Was Particular Al
His Guests.

n ldnulOEu " no WAS ADOus
His Guests.
Can / get something to eat here?'
asked an eastern man of the proprietor
of a Montana hotel" The landlord
eyed him suspiciously.
''Tenderfoot eh?"
81 suppose So"
Eat pie with yer knife?"
enc
"Make n noise when You drink?"
Try not to"
pick yer teeth with the fork?"
Certainly not
Take off yer hat a. the tablet"
"Ies"
Smack yer lips when you strike
somethin' good?''
NO"
''Then you can't eat here. I fed 4
Teller last spring that parted his hair in
the middle and had the same brand on
his face that you've got. and he hoo
dOoed my place for IA month. They's a
half breed runs a feed-trough further
d own the street, Guess he'll take you
in-he don't know no better-but, by
gum. as long as | run this ranch it
amt goin' to be no millinery shop. Day.
stran esr. Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
pUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Sunshine is better than medicine.
And you don't have to pay Sl.5O Tor
five cents worth of it, either. - Rich
mond Recorder.
When lightning tries to be funny 1t
is very liable to make even the strong
est oaks split their sides. - Baltimore
American.
Most NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. did you
say was the most remarkable thing
about my last poem?" THAT 1t was ac-
cepted. Yankee Blade.
-Irate parent-''Young man, what
did you mean by taking my daughters
hand just now?" Ratified swain on
are mistaken, sir. Search me."-Prince-
ton Tiger.
So many people are like the fire
cracker; they can only make big
splurge. and noise in the world at the
expense of being hopelessly busted. -
Atchison Globe.
If there is any luck in horseshoes
good many people are of the opinion
than it is not when they are fastened to
the feet of the horses they bet on
Philadelphia Times.
Jul OIlCC SdIN IllC OSJ' I'LL FA' WIZ
most foolish of all animals. The man
who takes pug dog out for its morn
ing walk was not allowed to exist in
Jobs time.-N. Y. Recorder.
-Pupson-"Have you heard of the
terrible scandal in Boston," Cubleigh
Mo. What is it?" Pupson-'Oneo of
the ladies of the literary set mispro-
nounced word. Iowa Topics.
The Silver Lining. Miss st is
dreadful that all your furniture was
burned up in that fire in your fat Mr..
Smith. Mr.. Smith-''Yes, it was pretty
bad; but, then, we got rid of the
reaches. Truth.
Young Husband-"My dear, bust
ness reverses have caused me to make
an assignment and Young Wife
ltearfully)-"Y-e-s." Young Husband
I'VE will go abroad and travel year
or two. Epoch.
-Father-"I wish you would not lace
SO tight. 1t is positively inhuman"
Daughter-"Why, L thought you would
be pleased, father The material for
this dress cost 81 yard "-Cloak Re-
view. b..
You have spurned me!' he. cried,
bitterly. II will go into the world.
will fight and win. My name shall be
known and my riches envied-'
Then" he interrupted, try me
again. christian at Work
Mr.. SYSTEMATICALLY have to cut
down your salary about 20 per cent Mr..
johnson" Mr.. Johnson-"But why?
Is not my work just as we'll done as
ever?" ''Ie-es, l guess SO; but I've
just found out that you are one of these
college graduates: "-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
A Rapid Recovery. - Wonderful
cure in the case of Smalledge." What
was it?" why, you see his legs were
paral yzed, he hadn't walked step in five
years, and out of sympathy they made
him cashier of the Lone Star bank"
''Well?'' We'll, in exactly two weeks
he skipped "-Elmira Gazette
-Reassured hear that Mr.. Stacy
spoke rather slightingly of me the other
evening" You're very much mis-
taken. Mr.. Stacy never says anything
against person. Ionce heard him say
that if he couldn't speak in ones favor,
TIC hccp SllcHl. NO your lldHle WASH
mentiOned-N. Y. Sun
-Gus Was in No Danger.-''I say"
said Gus de Jay, as he laid the paper
across his knees, this article says that
a food of intelligence is going to sweep
the country" We'll, deah boy, don't
let it worry you" replied Willie Wish
ington. You're not likely to be any
flood sufferer you know. ''-Washington
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31
A SUMMER THOUGHT.

Dazzling the landscape lies;
Blue, gold, and green
Even to tear-stained eyes
Beauteous, ween.
Blue sky. widespreading trees,
Green, still, and tall;
Sunshine in golden ease
Slanting DER all
Happy hearts wandering.
Sun on them too;
Streamlets meandering
Fair meadows through.
Presently sinks the sun
Crimson to rest;
After his work Is done,
Seeks he the west.
Homeward the happy hearts
Stroll DER the lea;
Silent the stream departs,
Bound for the sea.
flushed stand the lordly trees,
Sentinels strong;
Whispers the evening breeze
Gently along.
Gray-tinted shadows creep
Over the sky;
Deep in dreamless sleep
Soon all things lie..
Sorrow seems lost in rest,
Care in repose-
Wrapt in oblivion blest
Earth and her woes.
Only linger still,
10th to depart
From these calm scenes that kill
-EJneI IreIanu, IN Cn1cago Journal
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31

tree at Appomattox under which Gen.
You know that was the story a long
time ago, and it was popularity believed
for years after the war, even when
proofs were abundant that the surren-
der tookiplace in a house and not under
an apple tree at all l bought that in
good faith, but l suppose if one had all
the timber said to have been taken from
that tree he would own pretty good
sized orchard. And here is a piece of
quartz from Lookout Mountain. The
soldier who pawned it said he was
wounded and lying on the ground look
ing at the clouds rolling beneath him
and his command, when his eyes were
caught by the sunlight on this stone,
and he brought it away. Grant spoilt
part of the story by his memoirs, in
which he says there was no fighting
above the clouds, and l have since
learned there is no quartz ON Lookout
Mountain. | have about made up my
mind that my customer was native OF
Hot Springs, Ark, where quartz and
liars abound.
This knife, fork and tin plate went
to the Mexican war with William Nell
son Bailey, a surgeon who was prac-
ticing medicine in an Illinois city some
years ago. With them he ate breakfast
while Vera Cruz was falling, dinner
| while Santa Anna was losing the Pass
of Cerro Gordo, and supper as Gen.
.sa----~ ----+- IL I'LL
them to a SPECTATOR in these things,
and the speculator pawned them along
with his own watch and chain. Here is
another American war relic. 1t is a
Texan saber. broken in fight at Alamo.
This beaded purse was given by Brig
ham Young to farmer at Nauvoo IN,
in 1916. The farmers daughter brought
| it here when she moved to Chicago, and
sold it for enough to buy bread for her
children. Chicago Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-31

Mr. Marry Rich sat toying with his
wife's bank book while he waited her
appearance for drive.
What have you been doing dearest?"
she asked Sweetly.
II have been counting the ours" he
answered softly, as he joined her.-De-
troit Free Press
Mr. n. Intyfour - See, he has
knocked the ball clean over the fielders
head" Miss N. Thuse (timidlyl - IS
that what you call a left felderY -
Yale Record