The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-03-12
MISCELLANEOUS.

The woman in an imitation sealskin
sack is inclined to plush easily.-Texas
Siftings.
1T is stated that, as the supply of
gold fish at the central station of the
United States Fish Commission, in
Washington, D. c., has been exhausted,
no more will be issued before next fall.
Van Holstein, Jr. - saw what
would you do, father, if I gave up my
gay life, don't you know, and come to
settle down quietly at home?" Van
Holstein, >r.-''Weu, should feel
strongly inclined to kill IN. Y.
Herald
A negro about dying was told by his
minister that he must forgive certain
darkey to whom he seemed to entertain
very bitter feelings. Eyes, sah," he
replied, IF l dies, 1 forgiv dat nigga,
but if I gets we'll dat nigga must take
care''
The New Minister.-First Fair Par
ishioner-''1sn't the new minister hand
some?" Second Ditto Ditto-'Isn't he,
thought" Third Ditto Ditto-They say
he's engaged to g ri in Wayback
Omnes-''The homely old thing."-Yan-
kee Blade.
"A short-sighted gentleman chooses
pair of spectacles. ''These glasses
he says, ''are not strong enough for
me-" 'But, sir, they are No. q"
''What have you next to No. 2?'' ''No.
L." "And after that?" "After No. l,
sir, you will want dogr'
A Birch Run, Mich, family sends
the children to the country school, sew
eral miles away, in peculiar manner.
1t has an eminently safe horse. The
children drive to school in the morning,
head the horse for home, and he
promptly returns In the afternoon he
is sent after them in the same driverless
way.
Beyond Its Powcr.-Photographist
Ito customer)-''O, yes, we can take
any thing with this instrument. It is
very fine one." Customer-'Well, I
want a dozen cabinets and will call
around il thirty days and pay for Them
Photographic beg your pardon, but
l neglected to state that it would not
take risk like that. "-Washington
Star.
The Amateur Farmcr.-"Mine is a
model farm" said Barrows. II raise
potatoes of all kinds In this field I
plant onions and potatoes together. Re-
suit, 300 bushels of lyonaise potatoes to
the acre. Over in that field planted
fifty bushels OF potatoes. In the spring
I ran a stone crusher over the surface
Result, $50 bushels of mashed potatoes
to the acre.
Stiff. -Customer rubbing his stiff
fened fingers How is the
price of coal this weather." Dealers
New Boy with stiff upper lip
"Purty stiff Customer (bowing stifly)
Huh! Stiff. eh? How's the coal?"
New Boy (stiffening up)-"Well, as it's
been layin' outside in all this frost and
snow. the GOALS purity stiff, too. ~.
Y. Weekly.
More cabin passengers arrived at
New York in 1890 on the ocean steamers
than ever before in the history of that
port. The steamers made a total of
914 trips, bringing 60, 1S9 cabin and 37l.-
593 stcerage passengers. British steam
ers made 1854 Of the trips and landed
54.971 cabin and 1869 steerage pas
sengers. During the total 914 trips
there were 40 births, 60 deaths and IL
suicides.
Just the Samoa retired actor
says that nine out of ten men in the
profession, no matter how good or bad.
whether leading man or bootblack. imag-
inc that from ten to fifty females are
stuck on them in every town. This
feeling buoys them up when salaries
are in arrears. and gives them ambition
to take to the railroad track when the
bust-up ccmes.-Detroit Free Press.
Some of the most important dates
in American history are these: The dis
covery of America by Columbus, Octo-
Der II. 1892; the landing of the Pilgrims
from the Mayhower. December Fl. 16 20;
the Declaration of Independence, July 4.
1776 the birth of Washington February
o. 1882; the death of Washington, De-
cember IA, 1899: the attack on Fort
Sumter, April -, 1861: the death of
Abraham Lincoln, Apri, Is, 1865, and
the surrender of Lee at Appomattox,
April 9, 1865.
The New York Star tells of man
who. in coming from Odessa. brought
with him small quantity of the best
Turkish tobacco. Before leaving the
vessel he spread it out and folded it in
large silk handkerchiefs and placed it
next the skin under his vest This in no
degree gave him suspicious fullness,
but it was as much as he could do to
walk ashore and tear this horrible poul-
tice from him. Tobacco thus applied is
one of the most powerful of emetics.
Kate Field abominates dotted or
figured wells. and says they play into
the hands of the oculists and opticians.
She is also rightly denouncing the re-
turn to walking skirts that drag on the
ground. She thinks American women
living in our unclean cities can not af-
ford to import this fashion, but she does
not protest with much courage, remark
ing, 1.-The average city woman would
rather die than not be clothed in the
the latest style" She further objects
to the slaughter of singing birds for
ladies' hats.
There was society wedding in a
city not a dozen miles from the State
House. 1t was literally an immense af-
fair, of which local paper said that to
mention those present would be to print
the ''blue book" entire. One of the
guests, in looking over the vast array of
presents on exhibition, said, "Why,
don't see our present" ''What was it,"
"Venus," she exclaimed, and, when
asked whether it was an engraving OF
statue, replied: ''Why, it is one of the
very latest Venuses, with no arms
Boston Traveller.
A boy seventeen years old in Long
Island City has gone to Jail for six
months for the offense of kissing a
young woman who didn't want to be
kissed. 1t was reprehensible thing
for him to do, of course, and merits
punishment but consider his youth.