The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-22

L D u
you have to look from under them IT,
ccquettish manner. and there are has that
Z LOOK as though they ought TO stay on your
head. bet refuse 70. unless pinned and tied
and almost glued on. he hats thai seem
10 career up in the ar, with their feathers
tossing as proudly rs did the historic white
plume OF Henry OF Navarro are perked up
in the back aud fastened with glitteriuI:
clasps. aud appear TO have an inclination u
| fly up and be worn by angels, are, accord
ing TO the suave milliner, "to be put on by
the hair" This sounds very awful, hut il is
done In this way: You go out, spend some
more money in buying an extra switch;
you twist that up like figure 8, fasten
it right on top Of your head, and then you
pin the hat on it with a number of black
headed pins about two inches long. IL is
unnecessary to sny that il the wind blows
you are in terror Of hat, switch and all fly
ing away, but as long as there is no wiad
you present a very stunning appearance,
and you do not give the world at large the
impression that your hat is an elephant on
your hands.
PRETTY, BUT o, HOW UsELEssl
once had an elephant on my hands-in
the shape Of a bonnet. 1t came about this
way: had tho rheumatism, and my
friends, in their desire to make me cheerful,
sent me gifts galore. There we're roses and
flowers Of all kinds, there were jellies which
my dog consumed with nature, there were
two canvas-back duck from down in Mary
land, and no end of candies. A girl with a
practical mind came in to see me, and
after gazing at the gifts galore, SAID she
proposed to give me something sensible" Il
arrived in about half an hour. It was a
shrimp pink velvet evening bonnet dec
Grated with gold, in which was set imitation
gems by the dozen, sapphires, diamonds.
rubies and emerals just in front were
three small feathers, one shrimp pink and
the other two pale blue. The ties were of
shrimp velvet.
1T WAS A THING OF BEAUTY.
had it put on the pillow beside me, and /
looked at it from every direction; after half
an hour Of steady staring it dawned on my
rheumatic mind that providence had never
intended that should wear either shrimp or
pale blue. However, l persuaded myself
iuto thinking that | could put on dab of
rouge which nobody would notice, and so
the trying colors would be all right at night.
Then for q while didn't worry; suddenly it
dawned on me with the force of demo-
cratic majority, that to wear that beautiful
chapeau would require gown of gold. and
l am not endowed with such riches. L.
could not be worn to walk in, and it could
not be assumed earlier in the day than gas
light, on account OF the disagreement be-
tween my complexion and its shades. 1t
was put away, as the doctor said | mustn't
have anything 60 worry me. l argued this
out: "lt's such a handsome bonnet that the
milliner will only be too glad to exchanged
for much simpler one;" but he wasn't He
said lit was magnifque," ohio and every
other adjective in the French language that
told that he considered it elegant, but he re-
fused positively to take it back; then 1
knew l had an elephant. 1t Was too
handsome for anybody. 1t cost $45, and 1
offered TO sell it for S. No takers. When
the girl who gave it to me spoke about it. l
told her it was too nice to wear, and she
smiled and agreed with me- she thought it
was compliment
THE END OF THAT PRETTY HAT.
l offered it as a present to several people;
they all declined it, saying that they didn't
think they had any frocks fine enough TO go
with it. AT last one woman took it, and it's
my private belief that she used the passa-
menterie to cover a pincushion, the velvet
for crazy quilt and the feathers to dec
crate fan. have but one grief about it
now; that is, instead of giving it away did
burn it, and have the pleasure of seeing it
go to glory myself. And the moral? Well,
it is this, don't give or buy bonnets or hats
unsuited to your frocks or that station in
life in which you are placed, or better still,
to make it wider, don't yearn for an ele-
plant IN any shape whatever, for once he's
on your hands you either starve to death or
you will have to kill him.
THEY AGREE TO DISAGREE.
But then you may think differently at out
pretty bonuets and things. There are a
great many people who don't agree with
me.
Doubtless you don't agree with me be-
cause you are republican and / am demo-
crat.
don't agree with you because you like
whisky and 1 don't.
You don't agree with me because think
baby month old is the sweetest thing
in the world while you call it uninterest-
ing
don't agree with you because you think
base ball is the national game; think it's
the national foolery
You don't agree with me because play
poker for fun and you play it for ducats.
| don't agree with you because you take
little white pellets for medicine and l take
big black doses.
You don't agree with me because like
frills and frivos and sweets aud dogs and
good children, pretty women and handsome
men-but there, do believe you will agree
with me in liking this combination and set
it down as the one group of opinions upon
which you agree with Bah.
They Laughed at the Villain.
when was in the variety business" said