River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-07-02
CLASS HISTORY AND PROPHECY.
~ \. T. RKED.

Fdlls ilsn Schouis June IL, 1871.
These simple annals treat OF tame events,
And TO sublimity have no pretence;
For when we came TO meet our fate in life
Occasions for adventure were not rife.
our fathers waged the civil war too soon
To give their sons that thrilling ehance-that
boon
of acting for the stale a valiant deed,
Or-giving an example OF their speed.
We've had, aias! no chances to invent,
Though full of talent and Of good intent,
For yOull observe II you bat look around
That past inventions cover all the ground,
No opportunity has yo; arrived,
(And hence, the age OF favor is deprived,)
10 let the maidens of this recent date
Exhibit how revered they hold the state,
And how they'll labor earnestly and well,
To save its honor by a matchless spell.
No doubt if war should come, so dread and dark,
Zach one would prove true Joan of Arc.
lis circumstances make the man." you know,
(But man creates the circumstances though);
SO if perehance this history is stale.
Pray wait till you'ie outside before you rail-
For we were born, grew up, and came to grief
Like other folks IN gommon--to be brief,
Aud were like other scholars at school
Who study, play ar4 Oft forget the rule;
And those who started at the foot,
Who waded through their grammar and cube
Were Joined by those who in the higher grades
Had come from cut OF town-from Ellsworth's
The total nunbef 4 med a class of eight,
Who all progressed at quite a rapid rate;
But circumstances with their willy tricks
As tedious histry always tends to tire,
Wen change the strain and soar a little higher.
A prophets task is rather more desired
Than that of telling things that have transpired.
So Wen prescribe for every member here
A course TO which, perforce, they must adhere.
Now as tbs right that spiritual affairs
Have preference over all our temp raj cares,
Our grave salutatorian well define,
As he, OF course, will be learn'd divine
A skillful dealer ia the souls of men,
Transforming those not in the right and then
ham hs-
Turn to the night; keep on, and watch and
He'fl have good community to tend
And nobly Will the righteous cause defend.
Ills teachings will be aided by the tate,
And ali his friends his goodness will relate.
He walks majestic midst his chosen folk
Enshrouded by the parsons hallowed cloak;
His countenanee, benevolent, serene,
Diffuses grace wherever II is seen,
His many form is stately, tau and trim
All sure the people Will look up To him.
A brilliant future easily portrayed,
And were the records all as easily made
Your humble prophets task would be but light,
But now before him looms rugged heig hit;
For You'll observe that of the class, two-thirds
Consists of girls, aud therefore that these words
should be devoted TO the mems distress)
TO ribbons, bonnets, hairpins, and 10 dress;
And you'll remember, too, how sad perplexd
We're Pope and Byron when they wrote a text
On any OF the fair ones, for they said
Qf in the modern methods il were read
That girls were merely combination hooks,
Made up of grace, of giggles and good looks
TO catch the fellows running loose around
Who had weak brains but money by the pound.
Now If tn august poets were distressed
At treating of the ladies, why, I'm blest,
What could mere beginner at the art
ENpe to do in taking such part.
Moreover, they are all SO very young
That they don't wish TO launch themselves
among
The cold professions of cruel world
Until with earnings banner well unfurled.
So each will take further course at school,
And some will teaeh--upon the golden rule
As travel tends TO widen out the mind
A few contemplate doing this, find;
One member journeys To an eastern cline
Aud there, she says, viii occupy her time
BY sup'rintending with a Judg ment sound
"hOme for aged spinsters" she will found.
Now if she d take her spinsters on tour
And spin about the country safe and sure
On those newfangled bicycles they've got
They might be SpiH5ters yet; but aged, not.
The custom-that of spinning on the wheel
Is but recent trick with which We deal,
And therefore every spinner taking part
Is a nsU spinster--ior neig is the art.
Moreover, the exhileration gained
Is still another benefit obtained,
For they'll acquire by natures gentle hand
What most the ladies in this blooming land
Cal only initiate, with awkward grace,
AID hence we see upon the maidens face
Ephem'ra beauty-that which sadly mocks-
Bought at the drug store, twenty live box.
Another to the south will take her course,
And there, perhaps, will join the teachers force.
Another still of our young ladies lair
Intends to occupy teachers chair;
Her quiet gentle manners and restraint
Will give her school no ga. ses Tor cOnplhlnt
She hath determination 70 succeed
And this our motto says Is all we need.
think, unless the fates deceive my mind,
That for further purpose she's designed;
Perhaps while as pedagogue she acts
She viii collect aud write some simple iaets,
Will give the world OF juveniles book
With sweet bright stories, and attractive look;
And rs in this she further perseyeres
A widen'd circle of new friends appears;
No doubt her fame will rise to such height
Twill soon outstrip old GilderOy's kite.
In modern trades we're represented we'll
Typewriter craze is growing hard to queu
It's sweeping DER the country like ire
And hence the price of girls is getting highr.
IL seized upon member of the class
And she embraced it eagerly-alas
Some wealthy city of extensive trade
Will soon absorb her IL It's busy shade;
Within glass enclosure she II be seen
Manipulating swiftly her machine
Her nimble fingers torn printed sheet
From written COpies-never over Leaf.
Her work is light and noble and besides
Within the trade good advantage hides.
There is a custom which type-writers holu
Which though tbs new, is common, ana seems
old;
It's frequently the case with business men
VINO hire type-writeTs TO relieve their pen
That they are single and in no wise vain,
And for the married state have no disdaln,
So some day both the manager and maid
Call on the parson for official aid,
And after scores of questions rightly coined
In "holy bond of hemlOck" they are joined.
As this good practice has worthy end
And all type-writers will its rig hts defend,
We hope the member from our Public school
Will not be obstinate and break the rule.
Though every graduate is thought to know
A little in the "algebraic' How,
Twill not be Inappropriate to pass
The minus quantity who's in the class;
So granting this, your patience may repose,
This Prophecy is very near its close
In fact It's done; and future time will show
A thing or two your prophet doesn't know.
However, here's a truth that holds It's own,
so true indeed 1t has proverb grown.
sI,az ffhfa n., sGta
That competition is the life of trade;'
'Tis doubly so in this most busy age,
And hence It's simply logic 10 pTesage
That all who hold "a motto like to ours,
And follow it through guiding future hours,
Will find as onward thro' the world they press
Perseverance, not genius. wins success