Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1891-04-16
A BAD CASE.


the world. My husband is-or was-a
very enthusiastic man, and imagines
that he has fine eye for the arts. Being
a lawyer, he enjoys considerable leisure
in the afternoons, and it is this that has
proved his ruin. shall never forget his
first offense. 1t was very shortly after
our marriage. | was wondering why he
was so late for dinner when suddenly
cab drove up to the door.
For one moment fancied that it must
be his mother (wives have their mothers
in-law as well as husbands( Imagine
my astonishment when out jumps my
husband, with guilty jauntiness Of
demeanor, presents the cabby with five
shillings q noted this extravaganza my
self from the window, and is followed
by that functionary. staggering under
an enormous burden, swathed in brown
holland, up the steps. The usual loafer
rushes forward and fresh gratuity is
distributed, to the horror of my econom-
ical mind At last the thing-apparent-
ly a miniature of the great pyramid-is
deposited in our small hall with a reso-
nant bang, and its bearers depart.
What on earth makes you so very I'M
punctual, dear? The soup will be quite
spoiled. And what. in heavens name,
is this2"
II thought you'd like it, darling this
with. nervous fush). It's the most
wonderful bargain, and it would have
been really wicked to have let it slip
It's genuine Elizabethan-but,t there.
see it for yourself"
The mummy like bandages were at
last removed, and what do you think l
beheld? An enormous rusty, musty.
dusty and hideous clockl
Eyes" he continued, "a real, antique,
Elizabethan musical clock 1t plays six
tunes of the period; and, what's more,
look at the initials craven on the face
w. S.. Eve very little doubt that it
once belonged to Shakespeare himself,
who was very fond of mechanical inven-
tons. shall have, of course, to have it
repaired and done up, and then it will
look splendid in the dining room"
He quite took my breath away;
could only calculate, where on earth
did you pick it up, and what did you
pay for it,"
cat the sale of an old house. Every
one said it was ridiculously cheap, and
that they'd have given twice as much
if only they had known. Just think,
only hundred dollarsl Why, l could
get two hundred for it any day."
White elephants were nothing to this
disgusting "horologe," as | found it de-
scribed in the catalogue l. cost twenty
dollars to put right, and then it smashed
twenty dollars worth of things in being
fixed up. 1t sometimes played its mis-
erable so called tunes so rapidly that
you had to stuff your fingers in your
ears; at others, it emitted a spasmodic
and raven like croak that was positively
alarming.
At last, thank heavenl it stopped
"never to go again, and l firmly re-
solved that not one penny more should
be spent in "doing it (and us) up" Add
to this that l subsequently discovered a
Geneva makers name inside. could
wish that had been more stern on this
first occasion, but was weak, like too
many young wives, and was satisfied
with scolding The result was that we
gradually became deluged with the most
miserable miscellany of rubbishy bric-a.
brac, damaged furniture, dubious pict.
ures, and, in word, the refuse Of the
auction room.
To believe my husband, we were the
proud possessors of Cromwell's hat, By
ron's toothbrush, one of Sheridan's I c
US, curl of Marie Antoinette's, Ru
bens, Rembrandt, George Morland
q believe this latter is the evil genius Of
the Picker up) and a whole roomful o.
split and useless "Chippendale" and
Sheraton" etc. And all had been &C
quired at "sales which had history,
at an "absurd sacrifice" and to the ad
miration of the disappointed bystander
4 saw that the fiendish habit was gradu
ally growing upon him, like drink O.
gaming hope I know my duty. ! re
solved to protect myself and him, and
after an awful scene ensuing on his &C
QulSlOlOu Vi oil kLlCCbCu 6oubu Cu111, i Ca
acted from him a solemn pledge to giv'
up this pernicious habit once and for
ever
But was inexperienced; should hav
known the male mind better. Deterre'
from the open pursuit of his nefariou
designs, he determined to smuggle hi
purchases in secretly. had observed hin
lingering somewhat suspiciously owe
the auction advertisements of the dailies
and noticed also that his coat pocket
bulged out curiously on his nightly re
turn. One day had occasion to It'd
las good wife should periodically de
the escritoire of his dressing room. Wha
| do you think I foundp The drawers
, the pigeon holes, the interstices ever
) were literally crammed with heaps {
cracked and tarnished trifes-pounce
: boxes, enameled knife handles, embosse
! watch cases, pocket revolvers and th
like.
: Twas horriied. 1t was too true; d,
. barred hy the dread'of discovery fror
: picking up" big things he had resortet
under miserable subterfuge, to small