davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
sPuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


He Knew the Sound New Sum
merboarder (waking up)-"1s that
rain?" Ben There before-s'O, no; that's
the sbroiled' steak being fried for break
fast. Brooklyn Eagle.
"A knowing Horse. II essie-did you
do the driving when you were out with
Jack last nightY' Penelope Didn't
need to; tho horse was so docile that
Jack just tied the reins around the
whip and let him go as he pleased. !
never enjoyed a drive SO much in my
life. Brooklyn Eagle.
More Than He Expected. -Mr r.
Early-"What lovely lot of grasses
you have?" Miss Ready Yes, these
are from southern California, and these
from Florida Mr.. EARLY .'Wouldnst q
donkey have feast in this room?' Miss
Ready Go to grazing, if you wish. -
Yankee Blade.
The Sympathetic Crook. -Burgl
your money or your life" Victim
from bed)-"When explain, sir, that
my wife and three daughters have gone
to fashionable hotel to spend the sum
mer--.'' Burglar Enough; I'm
pretty hard up myself; but here's dol
lar for you" exits weeping. IN. y.
Herald.
1t Was an Old Habit. -Gaswell Ito
his wife)-"You have lately acquired
the unpleasant habit of turning up your
nose.'' Mrs. Gaswell-.'O, no; it isn't
recently acquired. Mamma said only
yesterday that if had not turned up
my nose at so many good offers | might
/ have been happier in my married lie
now."- Pittsburgh Telegraph.
The Market was to Blame. Young
Mr.. Hunter lat table)-..My dear, I
/ thought you said you would have mock
turtle soup for dinner to-day" Young
Mrs. Hunter-'I intended to, Harry,
but there wasn't single mock turtle
| in the market. tried to get one but
everybody had just sold out Our
Monthly.
| -Hubby-''Pve just been in to get
weighed. Have gained ten pounds =
Fogg $50? What did you have for
/ BREAKFAST" Hubby-'Only a couple of
biscuits" Fogg-'Your wife's?" Hub
by-''Of course" Fogg And only
gained ten pounds? Something must
be wrong with the scales. boston
Transcript
| The Man Of the House, What are
you sitting on that step for?" asked the
policeman. "Why, live here, and I'm
locked OUT ''Well, why don't you
ring up the man of the house?" II am
the man of the house myself" and the
way he said it indicated his chances OF
getting in might be better if he had
been the woman.-Xenia Blizzard.
Good Ground for Unbelief. Father
Come, Johnny, do as babe you.
i Take off your coat this instant" John
ny-"You amt goin' to lick me, are
you?' Enthusiastically am. Didn't
/ tell you this morning would pay you
off for your behavior?" Jonnny-'.Yes,
/ but l didn't think you'd do it. You
told the grocer and the butcher you'd
pay 'em off last week and l know you
let up on them. boston Courier.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
STwentY-FiVe Off,

+ A want of familiarity with business
practices sometimes leads to amusing,
and sometimes to EN- barrassing results;
and occasionally to both. A woman
who kept small seaside hotel thought
it would be profitable to bring the fact
to the attention of the public. Accord
ingly she drafted suitable advertise
ment, and carried it to the counting
room of a newspaper, where she in
quired the expense of several inser-
tons
It was the custom of this paper, where
advertisements were inserted moro
than four times, to deduct twenty-five
per cent from the usual rates. The
clerk read over what she had written,
estimated the space it would require,
and said: 1T will come to twenty-six
dollars; but as it is going in over four
times. it will be twenty-five off,"
''Oh!' she exclaimed. "Why, that's
very reasonable" and putting down q
dollar she started for the door.
1t was difficult to tell which was the
more embarrassed, the landlady or the
clerk, when he called her back and ex-
planned that twenty-five" off" meant
twenty-five per cent. and not twenty
five dollars.-Youth's Companion.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
MOTHERS KISS.

When downward tumble and bump my poor
head,
Then hop up quite sure am pretty near dead,
And run to my mamma as quick as wink,
Alb, how does she cure me! Pray. can you Eot
think!
BY kisses so sweet, to be surei
Again and again, may wound myself Sore
Then cry cut because l have hurt me soma
more;
No matter how busy or tired she may be,
She always takes time to attend to poor me-
To heal me at once with her kiss.
When am real good, or when am real bad,
When I am quito merry, or when I'm quite
sad,
When her sweet patience so often have tried,
She will so lovingly tenderly chide;
Then kiss me, just kiss me the same.
All, kisses like these! can we ever forget
The love they expressed? Nay, with eyelashes
wet,
Wen yearn for them even in old, grown-up
years,
Our eyes Drumming over with hot, binding
tears,
While longing for them oil in vain.
Alas, that her heart and her voice are so dumb,
To our yearning and cries, and no mother can
come
And ease the keen heartache in our after life,
When we have got hurt in the worlds cease
less strife;
No kisses can heal us like hers!
Fannie l.. Fancher. in Portland Transcript.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
THE FARMING WORLD.
GOOD DAIRY WELL

Handy Continuance Which Merits Gsn-5
eral Introduction.
a we'll for keeping dairy products,
and also fresh meats, etc. is desider-
atum on many farms. The one illus
rated herewith we re-engrave from
lleanings in Bee Culture, which thus
describes it: For ordinary use the well
should be dug feet by 4 square, with
gutter or groove, down one side. 1S
inches square. It should contain two
or three feet Of lasting water. It should
be IN easy reach of the kitchen, and att
tached to the house if possible The
curbing should be no larger than the
we'll A platform, which fits inside the
well, slides up and down between two
-tlmbers which rest on the bottom of
the the well. and are long enough to reach
up three feet above the curb. These
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

two timbers should be planed. The
framework of the platform has board
nailed on each side of it, forming
groove which fits on the upright tim
bers at each end of the wall. This
makes it rigid, and keeps it level. The
circular black spots on the platform
represent openings for vessels. The
piece that holds the wheel, over which
the rope passes to the windlass, is pro-
longed so that when the platform is just
even with the top of the curb, an iron
pin is inserted through it and the top
bar of the platform frame, and holds
it there. There is another rope and
two wheels. This rope has a heavy
weight attached, to assist in raising the
platform from the bottom of the we'll
with heavy loads These weights go
down inside box formed of four wide
planks, which occupy the gutter, or
groove. One lid opens up against the
weight-box, and fastens with thumb
button. The other is hinged SO as to
hang down beside the curb when open.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
3 SMALL GREENHOUSES.
How TO Heat Them ut q Small Outlay q
Fuel and Labor.

How to Heat Them ut Small Outlay Of
Fuel and Labor.
AS there has been considera BILE said
about heating small greenh ouses at
tached to dwellings, and as some make
it appear very difficult thing TO do, I
send you diagram of my greenhouse
and the simple way I heat it.
s. The greenhouse is q three-quarter
span, fifteen by thirty feet in size. The
basement floor is five feet b low the
greenhouse floor, and the basement
wall extends three feet above the
greenhouse floor, so the higher walk Of
the two (sc) is on level with the first
floor of dwelling, and q door opens
from parlor into the greenhouse. The
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
GERMAN ECONOMY.
How Fritz Became Possessed Of . Farm
and Family.

How Fritz Became Possessed OF . Farm
and Family.
The old saying that the German far
mer piles up greenbacks where the
American sets out for the poor house is
strikingly illustrated in Kankakee
county. Fritz Loeb, an awkward youth,
trudged into the county asking the
price of twenty acres of land Young Ed
Bunch, having inherited one-hunded-
acre farm, laughed at the little German:.
Twenty acre farm! That wouldn't
support hen and her chickens"
"So?"
From Mr.. Bunch he bought twenty
acres and small dwelling. Then he
rolled up his sleetes. Driving daily to
town behind a span Of bays. Mr.. Bunch
saw Fritz wedding the garden, cutting
thistles, hoeing corn. Which the better
farmer? The Germ ans land yielded
more an acre, his cows gave more milk,
his hens laid more eggs. More money
was made from the twenty acres than
from the eighty. Pretty Mrs. Bunch,
glancing at the Germans well-illed
pocl1etboo's said to him:
You should marry.
s'No one not have me.
''Some little Dutch girl might"
s'So?"
Years rolled on. Fritz worked 80
late in the field that he MIXED the cows
after dark. He wore his old blue coat
until Bill Todd offered to give a dollar
toward buying him a new one, just for
the appearance of the neighborhood.
Mr. Bunch rode to town behind the span
of bays. He now borrowed rAoney from
Fritz mortgaging the farm and stock.
Mr.: Bunch died, the debts unpaid. The
property, having for years decreased in
value, must be sold. leaving little for
the widow and her two boys, aged 10
and IL. Fritz said to her:
der leetle boys could drive oop der
cows und dig 'taters. Let dem live nit
me-"
She consented, and the boys, fond of
Fritz. threw up their hats and turned
somersaults on the grass. A thunder
storm in July drove Fritz from having
to the Bunch farm house. The widow,
fearing the lightning, was glad to see
him, giving him the best plush chair in
the parlor. filling and lighting his pipe.
As the smoke curled up over h head
he said:
der farm vhas mine?"
"Yes, Fritz. y
DER span Of bays vhas mine?"
Eyes, Fritz. y
s'Der leetle boys vhas mine?''
Yes, Fritz. .
81 no likes to leave holdings Was
der vedder mine?''
She looked through the window at
the rainbow arching the retreating
storm cloud, and she answered in a low
voice:
Yes, Fritz
Ats o'clock in the afternoon they
, drove to parsonage behind the span
!, of bays. Chicago Herald.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

Syrup :

We have selected two or
Group. three lines from letters
freshly received from pa
rents who have given German Syrup
to their children in the emergencies
of Group. You will credit these,
because they come from good, sub
stantial people, happy in finding
what so many families 1ack-a med
icine containing no evil drug, which
mother can administer with con-
fdence to the little ones in their
most critical hours, safe and sure
that it will carry them through.
ED. Z. Willis, of Mrs. JAS. w. KIRK,
Alma, Neb. give it Daughters College,
to my children when Harrodsburg, KY.
troubled with Group have depended upon
and never saw any it in attacks of Group
preparation act like with my little daugh-
it. It is simply mi ter, and find it an in
| raculous. valuable remedy.
Fully one-half of our customers
are mothers who use Boschee's Ger
man Syrup among their children.
A medicine to be successful with the
little folks must be treatment fol
the sudden and terrible foes of child
hood, whooping cough, Group, diph-
iberia and the dangerous inAamma-
tons of delicate threats and lungs. o
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
LATE PAsTURAGE PAYS.
It Helps to Keep Stock Thrifty in Earl
Fall and Winter.

1t Helps to Keep Stock Thrifty In Early
Fall and Winter.
With growing and breeding stock, es-
pecially, it is nearly always best to let
them run out as long as the weather
will permit. A better and healthier
growth can be secured at less cost if
shey can have the run of pasture than
if they are confined and forced to de-
pend upon dry feed alone But to get
the best results it is necessary to have
good feed in the pastures. So long as
it can be supplied at least during the
growing season, grass is the cheapest
always be best to depend upon grass
alone, but IN majority of cases it can
be made the principal food.
One way of having late pasturage is
20 divide the pastures and leave one or
more to grow, and then use it after the
other pastures have given out. Another
plan is to SOW rye or wheat especially
for this purpose, and use itwhen needed.
If this plan is followed. sow the seed
reasonably early SO as to get good
staff to grow before cold weather cuts
off the other pastures. If sown early in
well prepared soil, rye or wheat will
furnish considerable quantity of feed
at comparatively low cost and as late
as the ground is not covered with snow.
Blue grass is one of the best va
rieties of grass to let grow at this sea-
son for late pasturage. and when it can
be done it will often b., found advisable
to keep the stock out If one pasture at
least, in order to furnish grass as late
as possible.
1t is not best in past,lring stock late
to allow them to be exposed to cold or
storms. Shelter them ut nignt and on
rainy or stormy days, tut give them
the run of the pastures e. cry day that
the weather will permit, 1t least until
winter weather sets in. Giving them
good pasturage in this ay will great
~ lessen the quantity of grain neces-
sary to keep them in Good condition
and at the same time help to furnish a
good variety.
If the stock can be kept thrifty in the
early fall and winter, making the
change from green to dry food gradual
", it will cost less in proportion to the
quantity of food supplied to winter the
stock than if they are allowed to run
down at this season. Hence It is i'm
portant to see that as far as possible
good late pasturage is provided. st
4 nuis Rennhlic
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

The Norwegian national assembly
has granted Dr. Fridtiof hansen $50, OO(
toward his polar expedition, aud thir
teen Norwegians in their private ca
pacity, one Of them being the king
himself, have given the intrepid ice
wanderer $50, 600 more. II his ship il
smashed DR.. Nansen will be prepared
at once to move out and camp on az
ice foe.
Eyes, i said Mrs Clanty, me hus.
band com here whin the town was
new, an since thin, he has managed "a
turn over good bit av raj estate
"yVid Q cred dale Nv foinancial profit
Oi suppose mo; wild 8 80 !. -
Washing ton Star.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
When to Slug Him.

A mosquito in getting in his work EN-
ploys lance, two saws and an ar
rangement for pumping blood The
right time to ''swipe'' him is while he
is saving off nerve to make a hole in
which to insert the pump The whole
kit of tools is then Boston
Globe
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
An "Anecdote" Fixed Him.

A tall colored man entered drug
store on Sixth avenue at 10 clock last
evening in a state of great excitement.
He held one hand over the middle but
ton of his vest, and gasped out in tones
of excitement tinged with distress:
''Doctah, give me an anecdote to
pison or an ammatick to kill pison.
Some ones done dosed me TO suah.''
"What have you been eating?' in.
quired the druggist, looking closely at
the man.
"Not much, doctah, not much. had
some watermallion and few pieces OF
cucumber and a peach or two, and then
I went out to get some ice cream with
a lady. I no sooner swallowed the
cream dan was dat cramped T couldn't
sit straight. knowed somethin' was
put in dat watermallion right off. O.
doc ali, give me something quick?''
Here, take this right down. said
the druggist, passing the man big dose
of ginger.
| After taking the dose the patient sat
down in a chair, saying: claw, doctah,
but that anecdote is hot one, TO:
suah. IN. Y. Advertiser.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
:oeva,lm ,aa,

a aoo,7aa,a aoho can see.
She's the woman who gets well.
It's the woman who scon't see and
won't believe who has to suffer.
And it's needless. There's a
medicine a legitimate medicine
that's made to stop woman's suf-
fering and cure woman's ailments.
It's DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton. It's purely vegetable and
perfectly harmless Ia powerful
general, as well as uterine, tonic
and nervine, imparting vigor and
strength to the whole system. For
periodical pains, weak back, bearing
down sensations, nervous prostra-
ton, and all female complaints .
it's positive remedy. It improves
digestion, enriches the blood, dispels
aches and pains, melancholy and
nervousness, brings refreshing sleep,
and restores health and strength.
No other medicine for women ID
guaranteed, as this is. If it fails to
give satisfaction, in any case, the
money paid for it is refunded. You
pay only for the good you get. Or
these terms it's the cheapest.
But more than that, it's the 6sst.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
The stubbornest Things on Earth

The Stubbornest Things on Earth
Are facts. AS Burns says, "They Wilma
gang" Here's specimen. It is fact tina,
despite underhand competition, detraction
and imitation, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
dyspepsia, debility, liver complaint, nerv.
business, rheumatism, neuralgia and kidney
inaction, has not only held its own, but Ions
since outsped all rivals in the race for pop
ularity.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
Artistic Advertisinr 2.

Undoubtedly the Ivory Soap people de-
serve credit for the best grade OF illustra-
tions now being used for advertising pur-
poses. The series of full-page drawings
which have been appearing on the last page
Of the Century represent some OF the most
capable book and magazine artists in the
country. The series must have cost no
small figure. AS yet the "way up. artists
do not sign the work they do for advertis-
ers, but apprehend that it will not be long
ere we shall see in the advertising columns
such names as George Wharton Edwards,
E. w. Kemble, etc Such men as these bring
to their work, besides mere mechanical
skill, q trained imagination and an artistic
conception of things. These qualities, when
used in connection with advertisements,
command scarcely less interest than when
used in the ordinary literary way. print.
er's Ink, August 19, 1891.
JACK (the facetious)-'1 wonder. what
state they run the lottery of love int"
Pauline (the cynicaD-''In every state, l
guess, except the married state."-N. z.
herald.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
Juvenile Procaution.

Anxious Mother What in the world
did you do during that terrible thunder-
storm?
Little Dick-I got under tree.
Horrors! Don't you know a tree
il most dangerous place in thunder
storm?"
'Oh, I jumped out every time it thun-
dered. Good News
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
An Oversight.

Travers-You have actually sent a
bill with my clothes! What insult!
What infamy!
Tailor-It was all our new book
keepers fault, sir. He got you mixed
up with those people who pay!-Satur.-
day Evening Herald.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24


The Only One Ever Pfinted-Can You Find
tho W0rd7
There Is q 8 inch display advertisement
words alike except one word. The same is
true Of each new one appearing each week,
from The DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places a Crescent on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful autographs or
samples free
.'PA, how DO you scalpT' said the Indian
boy to ter-That-Laughs. First catch
your hair,' sententiously replied the noble
red man. -Roston Transcript.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

No WONDER highWaymen are 30 numer
GUS in this country, when every schoolboy
ondeclamation day is taught to ''stand and
anddeliver. "-Texas Siftings.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
Settled at Last.


"Ha! ha! We are alone at last!"
In the sandy solitude of western
prairie stood two men.
They gazed at each other with chances
of concentrated rivalry. Looking eau
tiously about him the one who had
spoken the words which open this sto.
ry continued:
1T has been five years since first we
met, and never until to-day have we
had the chance to settle, once for all,
for our own satisfaction. who is the
better man. None are by to spy upon our
actions. The gage of battle is flung at
your feet. Dare you accept?'
81 do,'' answered the man addressed,
who up to this time had remained ST.
lent.
''Step off your distance .
In grim silence the distance was
measured and then ensued-not fight,
but a fpot-race. They were two sprin.
tiers who had been running one hun.
dred-yard dashes in various small
towns, but never before had they had q
chance to run an .'unfxed" race.-In
dianapOliS Journal
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup Of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in it's
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 50c
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro.
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA re syrup CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. NEW y0Rk. w.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

!, One Fare for the Round Trip to All Points
South.
September 18th and 29th the Chicago &
Eastern Illinois Railroad Company will sell
Harvest Excursion tickets to all points
South at one fare for the round trip Tickets
good 80 days from date of sale.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

THE sscrank'' is the only man who Is al
ways what he is s'cracked up to be-
Columbus Post.
HoRsEs prefer to be stabbed on the In
stall-ment plan.-Smith, Gray Il Co.'S
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
Evening Things Up.

X -
Never was the old proverb illustrated
better than in one of our barber shops
last week. A customer came in and
asked the proprietor if he could be
shaved for five cents. The barber told
him certainly and proceeded to lather
him, then calmly sat down to read the
paper. After waiting awhile the man
demonstrated and received the infor.
nation that he was promised shave
for five cents but was not promised
when he should be shaved. He capitu-
lated and said he would pay the barber
ten cents. The paper was Immediately
laid aside and the man was shaved.
He started to go out the door without
paying, and when reminded of his
lapse said: II told you would pay
you ten cents for shave but did moi
| say when would pay The barbe,
promptly ackno wledged the corn.
Brunswick (Me. Telegraph.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24
Perfectly Satisfied

Perfectly Satisfied.
$50 your husband is dead What did
he leave you?"
II haven't inquired. I am perfectly
satisfied so long as he has left me.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

- - -. -
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-24

TIE hen that sets on porcelain egg may
not accomplish much, but she has onnest
observation-disclosures iftin0s