The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-12-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Cast iron--Quoits.

Cast iron--Quoits.
UPSIDE down-The moustache.
A feast of reason-To entertain
idea.
A corner lot-The "gang" under the
lamp post.
The spread of intelligence-Not more
than the appetite requires.
Lost at C-The tenor who reached for
1t but didn't get there Yonkers Gazette.
Men with we'll knit figures are seldom
worsted in fight. ~ Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The girl who has had faithless lover
should be sharper the next time--shc is
4 cutlass. LOtoeU Courier.
" Financial mbarrassmcntYis the
only kind that ever troubles young
America.-B0StOR Courier.
A ring around the moon is a sign OF
rain, and ring around the eye is sign
of blow.-Zeras SlftiRgs.
The crank with theory is like a dog
chasing his tail-it's nothing new wAen
he grasps it, Columbus Post.
"Ah, yes" said Aunt SarY, "Jennie's
a great singer; some day she'll be reg
lar belladonna "-O Columbus Post.
The ocean wearily exclaimed,
necessarily go;
wonder that l don't get corns
Upon my undertow.
If the world, as it is, owes everybody
living, the world ought to get mort
gage on itself to pay its debts.-Teras
Siftings.
II men were half as wise in their ac-
tions as they are in their minds, the
word ''fool" would be out of use.-
AteAis0a Globe.
The peacock may not be inclined to
gossip, but he loves to spread highly
colored tail about the neighborhood.
Etmira Gazette.
In looking for causes, the little thing
under our nose is hardest to see. Just
try to cast your eye on the centre of your
own moustache.-Puck.
"Why is it so much easier to contract
debts than to pay theml" "Because we
run into debt, but usually have to crawl
out. "-Me,O York Herald.
Facetious Tourists-''Is it true that
your canton is full of idiotsl" Merry
Swiss Peasant-"Yes, sir, in summer.
But they don't stop long"
Carruthers-"Of what Use is family
tree, anyhow2" Waite -"Why, to cast
ones neighbor into the shade, of
course. "-Ne,O York Herald.
A Western man says this is "tough
world" and it is his opinion that very
few who are in it now will ever get out
of it alive. ve.-Pharmaeeutieal Era.
Ethel-''I am sure now that George
thinks me an angel" Maud-"What
makes you so positlveY" Ethel-"He
asked me to fly with him. "-Neo York.
| Herald.
"Why do they ring the bell in tlat
railroad station IN that stylei L. sounds
like it was tolling." ''Probably it is
for the passing of the dividend. "-Balti-
more american.
'AIrs. GaIrill fell down stairs aud bit
her tongue in two" "Poor Gdrrill II
that woman has two tongues, heaven
knows what will become of him !'-
Harpers Basar.
Mrs. Blacklot--"Yes, my boys doin'
we'll to Harvard. He's studYin' fer a
doctor now" Mrs. Nextdore--''DeaT
me Can't the doctor do his own study
IMP Boston Post.
Bride Gn anticipation -"I should
like to give my intended a little surprise
before our marriage. What would you
adviser Female Friend-"IIum pre-
sent him with your certificate Of birth, u
Fiiegeade Blaetter.
"Cau you help me2" said the tramp,
addressing the doctor, who was riding
past. ''Perhaps can, said the docto
humorously. "Pm a physician. What's
your troubled" al think, sir, need a
little change most" lie got it.-NsI
York Press.
Joachim, the musician, was having hi'
hair cut, and strenuously insisted taat it
should not be very short. "Well, sir,
said the barber, losing patience, ''it you,
as gentleman, don't mind being
taken for foreign musician, Im sure
don't care. - ChristiaA Union.