The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-11-15
RANDOM SHOTS.

expectancy upon the Threshold OF new
season, the suggestion is made-renewed, per-
haps, would be the better word-that q Mas
ter OF Ceremonies be appointed. Undoubtedly
such a social functionary would have his use
He could be appealed to in cases of doubt by
strangers and Others not conversant with the
forms of etiquette which prevail in official
social circles here at the Capital of the Great
Republic. His decision would be final. Thus
ambitious bellies and anxious mammas would
often be saved from themselves. True there
are lot OF books on etiquette in general and
one or two which pretend to be guide to the
rules which obtain In official society. One
which sets up to be du fat In all matters of
social forms and usages here was compiled by
newspaper correspondent who combines, or
aims to combine, the qualities of Jenkins
with the functions or Ward McAlister.
Such success as he has met with has been
Jenkinsish rather than McAllsterish. Thus
it is that this partsuar social aching void
continues TO ache. The differences between
would-be social authorities as to what is the
proper rule to be observed in particular case
are so great as to make 1t matter
of extreme doubt that any way can
be found TO set up a recognized
master of ceremonies short Of an act OF Con-
gress. Such a functionary would impart to
the simplicity which hedges about a Republi-
can court an aristocratic flavor delightful
to the nostrs of every snob and snobbess who
finds pleasure In tuft-hunting. In his alb
sence the Diplomatic Corps proposes to come
to the rescue of perpexed society. set OF
rules is preparing and Will be printed by
them for the guidance Of the footsteps of the
strangers within our social gates. A copy will
be given to each member of the Corps. No
doubt this brochure, like General Schenek's
poker rules prepared to meet somewhat
similar emergency, will become standard
authority, and form the nucleus about which
will grow a social code as stiff and formal
and infexible as any which ever prevailed at
the court of petty German prlncipality,
where, in the absence of matters Of impor-
tance, etiquette is elevated into tetich.
Society admires and dearly loves the Diplo-
matte Corps, albeit, it must be admitted, the
Diplomatic Corps regards society here with
more of anus ement than interest.
The Prince of Wales is so years old and still
the heir apparent. In other words he is only
mammals Oldest boy.
One of the parti-colored comic papers has
for the subject of its chief cartoon the stVul-
ture Lawyer" In series Of small pictures
1t illustrates the rich man accommodating his
wealth; then his last sickness; the appearance
OF the lawyer who is sent for to draw up a
will that can't be broken; the iron bound WILL
the death-bed scene; the attack on the iron
bound will by the sorrowing but disappointed
heirs; the vulture lawyer gathers in the har-
vest. That is all very well so far as the vul-
ture lawyer is concerned, but how about the
NuiOutC why ehOulu Ju6y escape Inc
censure of this pictorial censor? How could
the vulture lawyer eat up the estate except
for them? Why should the lawyer, vulture
or otherwise, respect the wishes of the dead
when his own relatives, his own kith and kin,
do not respect them, They pounce upon the
dead mans last will and testament like so
many hawks seeking to rend it to pieces
What right, then, have they to complain If
the vultures of the law cheat them of their
prey?
know OF no other profession or vocation
whose followers are more insistent upon the
high claims Of their profession to the honor
and respect of mankind than the legal pro-
fession. Having usually the gift of language
they are able to make themselves heard, and
the world, lazy and selfish, is contented to take
them at their own rating rather than to bestir
Itself TO ind their true valuation. Lawyers
constitute majority in both Houses of Con-
gress and probably in every State Legislature
In the Union. Yet lawyers always stand
ready to sell their services, their learning,
their opinions to the highest bidder or the
first conner. A striking illustration of this is
seen in the Bering Sea cases argued in the
Supreme Court the other day. The conten.
tion there is really between the United States
and Great Britain. 1t was American interests
against British interests. Our British friends
experienced no trouble In employing able
and eloquent American lawyers to fight their
cause for them. All thought of patriotism
was ouIh dt JHe pTOSpecJ OF personal prO1t
to be gained by contending for alien interests.
have no doubt that had the case come off in
England English lawyers Of the highest rank
could have been found ready and eager
TO pocket an American fee by contend
ing for American interests against English
interests. When the Hayes Tilden contest
was on the late Matthew Hale Carpenter, as
stated in his biography, appeared before the
Electoral Commission as counsel for Samuel
j. Iilden, although he had been partially en-
han1 1lnrtf fho
other side, and would have done so had not
the Republican managers failed to complete
their arrangement within the period agreed
upon" What does ''failed to complete their
arrangement mean? tbs simply euphem-
ism for failed to pay the fee. Thus the Re-
publican managers, by their failure to pro-
duce "Within the period agreed upon" lost
their option upon the services of this great
lawyer, and he promptly sold them to the
other side, where he was wanted quite as
much because he was a leading Republican
and Republican ex-senator as because he
was great lawyer. | do not condemn him,
but cannot but regard the professional ethics
which permits such somersaulting as peculiar
and the eXalting of the profession itself as a
remarkable case of self-delusion.
1t is announced that the remains OF the late
jefferson Davis will lie near those Of John
Randolph. In his lifetime John Randolph
did not allow anybody to lie near him with
out calling his attention to 1t.
The District Commissioners appear deter
mined that tine residents of HELPS Bottom