Sharp County record., 1891-05-21
THE JEALOUS WIFE.


John loved his young wife as the flower loves
the dew;
She felt she could not live without him;
He vowed that to her he would ever be true
He vowed as the rest Of the young husbands do;
She vowing she never would doubt him
One morning John left, through habit perni-
ciOus,
His overcoat down in the hall;
"Ahem {" quoth the wife, "the OCCASIONS pro
pitious
To test Johns fidelity; though not suspicious
III peep in his pockets, that's all
IA bundle Of letters' and tied with a bowl
The perfume is altar OF roses!
All, they're from his mother, who worships
him so;
Although not inquisitive, I'd like to know
Just how she begins and how closes.
",My own precious love" Just what used to
say!
From Helen your own until deathn
WHY, that's not his mother s-Caroline May?'
And why has he torn of the envelopes, pray?
Suspicion quite shortens my breath
t'The goose that am-'tis some sweetheart Of
old!
Suspicion shall not blanch my cheek
How foolish to doubt him-the date would have
told
And yet they're not musty, there's no trace of
mold
Great heavens they're dated this week!
"Thev're burning with love Oh, my poor heart
will break.
While I'm scarcely more than bride,
My John to prove faithless-the villain, the
rake
I'll quickly repair to my chamber and take
That last step in life-suicide
nTd leap from the window-but as it's not dark
I'd look such fright in the fall!
I'd die by his pistol-but when cold and stark
There'd be on my temple black powder mark
And horrid great hole from the ball!
"My corpse mutiated would spoil the effect,
For I must look lovely in death!
Cut my throat with his razor:-Oh, let me re-
fleet
'Twould sever my windpipe, and then, ex-
pect,
never could draw my last breath!
"Should drown myself down where the water
Is clear
by LU6 Llllll IL bAC AICEf PAeNAe A"SS'
The fishes would eat me No, no then fear
I'll have to hang Up by the big chandelier!
And then III turn black in the face.
''I might light the fire with the kerosene can
And 90 where all treachery ceases;
I'd do it with dynamite were man
No no! I'll die easy by some other plan,
And not leave my corpse all in pieces.
"ru ask the French druggist just over the
way
For something to poison the cat.
The gripings and spasms are dreadful, they
say,
And poison I'll take without any delay,
Though it do puff me up like rat.
"oh. tell me. thou prince Of all druggists and
eechers,
What poison you keep in this place
For rats, those unhappy mean pesky crea'
. lures,
To let them die easy, not puff up their fea-
lures,
Nor make them turn black in the face"
"Ah, madame geeve you ze grandest pow
daire
Eat make the rat sweetaire ven deaf;
70 mooch you feel sorry you keel HIM, by
gaire
Ze rat die so zgently you see him, you swear
He vas only asleep in re bet!
"vaire small leetal pinch eez a dose; vat you
geef
Depend on ze size of re rat
Ze rat, ven he leetal eeZ valr sen-sa-tiefi
Won bieg rat, deesconsalate, no wish to lief,
Zjust gief him a teaspoon Of zat.'
At home in her chamber the poison she took,
And rolling in agony lay,
When John, coming back for that coat on the
hook,
Fast mounted the stairs with an agonized look
Where his wife groaned in sweet disarray.
"why Name, what's the matter" "Oh, John
pray explain
Those letters found in your coatY"
"That coat was my partners, worn home in the
rain"
mot yours9 Quick! I'm poisoned It's rack
ing my brain!
To the druggist-get some antidote"
To the druggisthe rushed: "slr, you've poisoned
my Name"
Said the Frenchman: Keep on &c apparel!
She want ze rat poison-but know re game
Vat don't black re face Of re rati Ven she
came
Ze powdaire OF sugaire gave All ze same
She will lief eei she eat 20 whole barrel"
Fred Emerson Brooks, in n. Y. Herald.
----=
MONEY METERS.