St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-05


able extinction of coal beds in 15o. 100000
years
Commenting upon ST. Paul's prospect for
the Democratic national convention, the
New York Recorder says: ITO make the
thing sure she ought to throw in $1,000 first
class chromos of the candidate, whoever he
may be-" Possibly this is pat and seasonal
BILE suggestion. At the same time il is we'll
to direct attention to the fact that the Demo
cratic convention will not nominate a
chrome. In this respect the deliberations of
the Democratic meet will vary from those Of
the Republican ghost dance.
-
An editorial writer in the Chicago Inter
Ocean implies that Coleridge's Ancient Mar
liner" is made to utter the following bit of
doggerell:
"Oh. I'm a cook and captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancy brig;
A bo'sain tight and midshipmite.
And the crew of the captains gig"
Such journalistic breaks from the worlds
fair site are almost enough to make the dry
bones OF Samuel Taylor Coieridge rattle in
their humble grave at Highgate.
-
"a penny for your thoughts is away be-
low the ruling market price. B. Harrison
would give q cool hundred dollars for
small parcel Of Jim Blaine's thoughts.
~
Chicago papers claim that Columbus wore
russell shoes. This is a mean thing to saw
about the patron saint of the worlds fair.
-
The pugilist who signs articles to put John
Barleycorn to sleep goes against u most
powerful sedauve. How is this, John L.?
~
Pittshurg paper terms the national Dem
ocratic convention 1.-THE second prize Well,
If the convention that nominates the man
who will down Jim Blaine-again-is sec
oDd prize let it go at that There are MANY
thousands of voters in this country who do
not regard it in that light.
Col. Bob Ingersol is a popular man. Even
the New York BARRIERS like TO serape acquaint-
ance with him.
No wonder the Union club. New York. is
besieged with applicants for membership.
The club cellar contsins some of the cele.
brated Savillac brandy of the vintage Of 1893.
Il demand a retraction, sir" exclaimed a
gentleman, walking suddenly in upon ''Suu-
rise Signals. yesterday afternoon He threw
open his topcoat and revealed the butts of
two wicked reviewers in the side pockets of
his cutaway. Then he elevated the extremi-
ties of his pantaloons legs and showed the
handles of couple OF bowie knives
You see I'm fixed he said in a morose
tone of voice.
why so hostileg' was the mild inquiry
wherein lies the color of your complaint?
In the quadroon language of Othello, what's
the head aud front OF your offense?''
Il advertised in the Small Wants columns
of the GLOBE for lost dog
'tAh; if the advertisement was libelous,
remember you wrote it,
Il did he replied bitterly But mark the
reply 1 received
Then he unfolded and read the following:
Dear sir: dog answering your descrip-
ton is at my house, etc., etc. Now, sir.
look at me. Do L resemble dog? Is there
anything of the canine in my general make
up or department? Do bark between meals
or crawl under the table? Do l suck eggs?
Sheath and bloody 'oonds- sir, I'm scandal
ized.'
You recovered the dog?'
ION. yes; but at what a sacrifice of dig
nifty
But our December style of retractions cost
money"
Il don't care how much they cost, want
one"
I'VE paid ninety cents a hundred for
these. we answered. opening the box.
Don't care for expense myself" he re-
pied. taking out his retraetion and proceed
ing to strike match
stop" we said, sharply You are vel
come to the retraetion, but we draw the line
against your smoking it i'll the same county.
We quarantine against Connecticut cabbage
filters and Mother Hubbard wrappers"
-
Editor Joseph Pulitzer's New York house
was last week damaged by fire. Aside from
managing editor, business manager. a
private secretary and superintendent of cir
culatlon. it appears that Mr. Pulitzer needs
also fire alarm. Foraker wants job.
Whatever the result of the national Repub-
hcan convention, the defeat of B. Harrison
will be case of crowded out to make room
for more interesting matter"
Dynamite bombs in New York. and still
Father Knickerbocker yearns for the Demo-
cratic national convention. New York is a
city of voluminous index and infinitesimal
context.
writer he did write book
OF low. immoral tone;
Twas published in a noigesome nook,
And poisoned the ozone.
A critic jumped upon the tale
With both his massive feet,
When presto he did see it sail,
A grand success, complete.
So let us, when we see a thing
That isn't very nice
Instead of making welkins ring,
just keep as still as mice
-
A number OF Eastern papers are coraplain
ing that Mexican goats are slaughtered.
shipped to Chicago and sold by butchers
ould these carping Fasteners confine poor
Chicago to a steady diet of horse meatY
-
Mrs LanStry, it is announced. will not be
with us during the present theatrical season.
However. this fact will not seriously depress
any leading industry, unless it be tailoring
purveyors of dude dress suits and establish
ments that rent ont second hand dress suits
to impecunious dudes of lower strata. 2
RIB AGITATORS.
Many people who never saw fire
escape have seen one break out.-St.
Joseph News.
A good many bank cashiers are like
gunS-weil loaded when they 60 off,
al