The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-05-18
CROSS CUTS.

If the devil ever feels good, 1T must 90
when he looks at n aypoorite. 5 tiofh'
Every man knows of u good use to whlon
some other man might put his mohey'-AS
Gibson Globe.
Jake Jimpson-"Do you think you Will
love me when Pm old, d~arlingp'
Cora Bellows-''If l ever do 1T Will DO
then."~-New York Herald.
A Wise Lad-"Johnny, do you know your
a~lphabet?" Eyes," ''What letter comes
after By" "Oh, lots of 'em. Twenty-four
altogether ."-Harper's Young People
Young wife with innocent pridel-'l
made this pudding myself, Harold
Young husband (consolingly)-"Neves
mind, Imogene. Nobody will ever know IL
but ms."-Chicago Tribune.
There is a sign out ON one of Atlanta,s
side streets that is at least expressive II
reads:
..Goinp out to do whitewashing done
here."-Atlanta Constitution.
"Fiu your mind with useful information,
nv younp friena,' said the prosy old man.
''Remember. the empty bag CANNOT staho
upright" whats the matter with a oal-
loon?" asked the irreverent youth.
Mr.. Rox-What are you doing out there
in the still night air? Come into the mouse.
Gladys--I was Just admiring the moon
papa. Mr.. Rox-What business nave you
admiring the moon Then there are so
many things in the house that have bought
expressly for YOU to admire? Anybody can
admire the moon.-Indianapolis journal.
'"Ihe governess was wful cross today"
the children said in the evening. wen,
mamma, maybe we were bad; but we soon
pacihed her. l gave her a big rosy apple;
Fanny gave her a hearty kiss and Fred gave
her a promise to be good hereafter"
sand. Bessie, what did you give herr
mamma asked of the youngest. W
stammerea the youngest. "1-l-gave her
the-the-slip"
It is told that one day during he war a
SQUAD of confederates, wearing captured
blus oyercoats, rode up to a house Ill len
nsssee and greeted the owner With: WE'LL
old man, what are you, reb or yank"" fuz-
zled by the blue coats and gray pants, ana
not knowing to which army his visitors be-
lonced, Old Caution answered: well,
Pm nothin', and very little of that."-New
Orleans New Delta.
"What do you know about business"
asked a Market street merchant chatilngly
Of a youth who entered in search OF en-
ploymsnt. 'Well," was the confident
answer, Il amt ace high on the tariff, but
Pm king high OH adding up, and I'm a ten
spotter on getting back soon when I'm sent
to a place. The boy was told to hang NJ
his hat.-Philadelphia Record.
A Rockland, Me-, boy had long leased
and prayed for a bicycle. One night his
father brought home a tricycle., and the
mother suggested to the lad hat ne pray
real heard that night for the bike Next
morning he found the tricycle. by his bed
side. Bnt that boy was an expert. Turning
to the little chair which to him represents
the throne of grace, he exclaimed: "LooS
here, God, do you call that thing a bi-
cycle?'
A colored preacher quoted a ~well-knowI
passage i'll Shakespeare thus: LAS we traVe
along the road from whence the traveller
bones never return" A minister in thu
south, who was a very small, slender man
once had a fervent prayer offered in his be
half commencing af follows: 20 Lord, bles
this thy gigantic servant, whom thou has
set over us for the determination of tn
gospel. Bless him, O Lord, with unmiti
gated ages of the world to come.'-Ameri
can Missionary.
There W as a most copious drachm
Absorbed by Il fellow named Sachm,
And shortly, in truth,
This bibulous youth
Hadn't any more sense than a clachm.
-ionkers Gazette.