The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-22
THE S~HADOWGRAPHER.

VAo PAP0o AoA sASNA0 VAO ~ AAkAv
Yodles forth with main and might,
Throws Papa Grover in a fright?
.. The Baby.
Who drives the tariff from his brain,
Gives Mother Goose another reign,
Makes papa sing her songs again
Till weary night begins to wane?
The Baby.
Who'll 90 to papa if he wins.
Tease him away until he gins
Up congress to refrain from sins,
And place free trade on safety pins,
| Clean out alliance oatmeal bins?
@@ The Baby.
Mr.. Finley McEtae, the popular young
Highlander, is quite right in thinking he
has discovered an excellent joke on two of
his official clan in the surveyor generals
office. 1t appears that these young men
started out some time ago on a hunting *
petition. They were armed with all the
accoutrements Of a central African expedi.
ton and had promised bear. antelope and
coyote or the insignificant prairie chicken
to every citizen of the town. According to
Mr.. McRae they tramped three days and
AAShoo - uiSSONOiAiH kdLAo ~ duy
sort. At five O'Clock on the fourth morn
they nearly fell into a spasm when they
found a bird On a tree quietly watching
their movements. Both men dropped to
the ground, drew forth their %shotguns and
we're about to shoot when the bird gave a
sarcastic laugh and yelled. go back to
Helena and buy something for the boys in
the Office" 1t was Pat Casey's maybe who
was out for a four days trip in the noun
tains.
Before Helena makes further demands
for the democratic national convention
next year. would it not be we'll to find how
one J. M. Greenwood, of Kansas CITY,
stands. A popular subscription will be
necessary to secure this information.
The Board of Trade festival at their
rooms Thanksgiving evening will be a de-
cidedly pleasant affair. There will be
pumpkin pies made from genuine Montana
pumpkins and real New England cham
payne older brewed from apples raised in
Butte City. Ex-Mayor Bradford and
Farmer Zimmerman will debate the CUES
ton. SIS the Prickly Pear Valley Destined
to Become the Future Home of the Farm
ers Alliance?" There will be music and
dancing but no dress suits.
Col. w. B. Reed, the gem king, adver-
tises a few carloads of Montana rubies
suitable for railroad grading or street paw
ing, and particularly adapted for seasoning
mince pies.
For some unknown reason the city of
Helena is attracting considerable attention
from bunco, sure-thing and green-goods
individuals. Why?
If the new weather man wishes to become
popular he will find it polite to furnish for
an indefinite period such weather as we
have been lately enjoying.
Pete johnson, or, as he is better known.
Pete, because the othor ear was
shot OH, came in from Marysville yesterday.
lie was rather amused over a story recently
In this paper concerning a certain
snake who swallowed an alarm clock and
afterward gave birth to ten snakes. each
the possessor of an open-faced watch. The
tale reminded Pete of an incident in the
early days of War Eagle mountain, when he
was a quartz miner. He once caught a
crow in a trap Il tanned the bird 80 that
he would carry messages from the mine to
the house. Pete's wife, who was of a
cranky nature, finally grew an aversion
to the bird on account of his color and grew
some appearance. She at length insisted
that he should procure a canary in place of
the crow, and as an alternative Threatened
to leave the camp. After vainly trying to
procure a canary from Salt Lake, Omaha
md ErIro l- r-na - =.
wife finally grew 30 hot az to pack up her
goods, when an idea occurred to Pete. He
found an old yeliow-covered patent medi-
cine almanac and, stripping the covers, cut
them up IN fine bits and fed them to the
crow. The result was that in loss than n
week the bird had a beautiful yellow plum
age. Then Pete hired a camp musician tn
play the flute until the bird learned to SING.
and in another week was transformed into
a beautiful canary. Domestic happiness
was restored, and the bird lived to a good
old age.
Mr.. johnson was interested in a recent
suggestion that a Kelley insti-
tute be established in Montana. He makes
the proposition that Matysville will supply
the gold if the institute ia located in that
town. Butte will be relied upon for the
bl-ohloride, and Helena for the patients,
We have been looking about since cleo
ton for a permanent job for Hon. Jerry
Sockless Simpson. After considerable
search we conclude that he may be adapted
to the blowing in of smelters and we have
written him to this effect.
Our Swede friend who has been looking