The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-11-24

look as grand as if he had a builders
lien on the universe"
"a real sure enough actor?"
'Wen it will look one to the audi
ence."
Smoking real Havana cigar?"
THAT'S the way it will look from the
orchestra. All at once they will disap-
pear, like the happy peasants in the
comic opera, and then comes the tragic
part"
whats that?"
"EX-Alderman Pilfer robbed by two
thieves, real graduates from Sing Sing.
The eX-boodlcr, who will be represented
by q real boodler recently returned
from Canada. and who has been drink
ing, leans on the railing around Wash's
statue and says: Sure, he was a great
and good man. Then the ex-convicts
hit him dull, sickening whacks with
stuffed clubs and tug at his watch.
Just at this crisis the hero, Harry Van
derhyde, who will be impersonated by
some such high-priced pugilist as Kill
rain or Slavin, will come out to the res
cue of the Doodle alderman. The hero
will wrap one of the highwaymen
around lamp post, and fight three
rounds, Marquis of Queensbcrry rules,
with the other, whom he finally knocks
out to slow music"
"Kersilles, you are genius. Your
fortune is made" exclaimed.
Waiter, nuZzer bottle of wine," eX-
claimed Kersilles, pounding on the table.
My friend, who had imbibed more
than his share of wine, became trifle
incohercnt, but he went on to explain
that either the hero, or eX-boodler, or
one Of the convicts who had been
sluggcd sings n comic song. The po-
liceman reappears now the fight is
over, SO does the dago fruit seller and
the real ladies. Moreover, a real Fourth
avenue car with real driver and conduc-
tor and horses drives up, the car filed
with soubrettes, wearing abbreviated
costumes, who are going home from a
theater on the Bowery.
Their costumes, like that of q Chey-
ennc bride, consist principally of a
broad grin ana a few strealSs of red
paint. They dance and join in the cho-
rus of the comic song, which is full of
local hits about the uncleaned streets,
the police and other local nuisanccs,
each verse ending:
But, of course, it couldn't occur in
New York"
But all this never happens in real
life" | remarked, deprccatingly.
Don't make diff OBJ difference" said
KersiSes, in husky voice, "thatsh
what takes in other plays. Everybody
sigsh and dances in the hospitals, on
battle field, everywhere. Mush cater to
popular taste"
Being unwilling to trcspass any
more on my friends hospitality /
started to leave, Mr.. Kersilscs remark
ing to the barkceper: 80 shay, Charlie,
them's smine"
Not this trip, Mr.. Kersilscs," replied
the barlSeeper coming out from behind
the bar with an army-sized bungstarter
in his hand. Mr.. Kersiles' assertion
that was his personal friend and "All
rih' seemed to impress the barlseeper
unfavorably, for shook the bungstarter
under my nose and said with hoarsc,
insolcnt glare in his tone of voice:
This ere gent pays eleven dollars
ana quarter, or there is going to be n
cali Tor an ambulance. Scc!''
The matter was finally settled with
out dctriment to tho honor of either
party, and l escaped like bird from
the hands OF the fowler; but am feel
ing lar from we'll, and have been
oDhged to cancel my subscription to tho
Grant monument fund, and the moral of
II all sister clear Of fa6 fne6Tiats tsho
has a Mts scheme"
ALEX r. Swrt-r