Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1891-09-24
EVENING ECHOES.

Narrowly escaped loss-"The life
saver at Bartonhurst saved Mrs. Cohen
from drowning" "Did Cohen reward
him ?" Eyes; gave him &c." "Good. He
must be fonder of his wife than we
thought" ooh, it wasn't that. She had
her diamonds on Brooklyn Life.
Not an ACCOMPLISHMENTS Belle
That Mr.. Spry out there in that row.
boat is one of the most learned men
ever met. | wonder what college he
was graduated FROM College Graduate
(contemptously)-"Huh He's no col
lege man Look at his strolle.-Streot Dc
Smiths Good NeDs
A gentleman who was visiting friend
who had rare collection of oil paintings
was shown through the gallery by a col
ored Servant. is that one Of the old
mastersT" he asked, pausing before a
portrait. "No, sab, OATS one of de ole
missis," was the unexpected answer
Detroit Free Press.
Boston girl with enthusiasm)- What
is your opinion of Ibsen. Mr.. Cahokia
Isn't he grand, wonderful sublime
81. Louis young man taken at some
disadvantage, but rallying in good shape)
He is corker, Miss Howjames. What
--er-club's he pitching for now at
laata Constitution.
Its no excuse, prisoner, that the
complainant abused you" said III
judge. "A man abused me the other daJ
as if were pickpocket, but | didn't
hit him with club" "But the COM
plainant abb . me as if were the
President Of United States" Prisoner
discharged. = Boston Transcript.
Asking THO Much.-"Of course it
hurts, JOSIAH said Mrs. Chugwater, as
she applied the lini'aent and rubbed it
in vigorously rheumatism always
hurts. You must grin and bear il"
sim willing to bear it, Samantha"
groaned NJ Chugwater, "hut darn me
if I'm going 10 grin "--Chicago Tfibune.
The telephone between London and
Paris Is proving big success, scien-
tiiieally, commercially and financially.
The tariff is eight shillings, or so, for
three minutes use of the wire, and the
average number Of calls during the past
few weeks has been 10 an hour during
the busy part of the day, and about 10S
day.
snow, tell you, Minnie, l wouldn't
go out buggy riding with Dick Whites
ley for anything. Why, the last time l
was out with him he hn7 me till |
screamed, the impudentpu '"Well,
there wont be anything Of tAat sort if /
60 with him" "There wont ?" "Not
much; l've never screamed yet. "-Cin-
cinnai Commercial Guzette.
Bill Nye--l also want my boys to
learn to love the farm. So got them
to put into crop small piece of ground,
and agreed TO pay them high price for
their vegetables. Being a busy man |
have not paid much attention to the
process of their farming, but | have
bought from them $S5 worth Of truck
which ! could have gotten of the neigh
bors for $3.50, and which my young
agriculturists, am told, did buy at even
less than that.
Marriage in High Life.-There are
people in New York who toady after
the rich. The following conversation
took place on Third avenue street car:
$50 your sister is married ~ Eyes, and
she did very well splendid. You have
heard of Vanderbilt" "Oh, yes. Did
she marry into that family?" swell,
yes, so to speak. She married a nephew
of Vanderbilt's chief cook. He Is the
driver of q street car,"-7traS SJtiags-
The Rev. DIR. Hanson recently lee
tured, his subject being Fools" The
Rev. DIR. Vincent, who is somewhat of
wag, INTRODUCED him thus: "We are now
to have lecture on fools by onen--long
pause and loud laughter-"of the wisest
men of the country" The lecturer adj
vanced to the desk and responded as
follows 81 am not half so big fool as
DR.. Vincent pause and loud
laughter-"would have you suppose. -
London lid BIS.
81 think, sir said the pretty girl, as
she entered the cynical merchants office
that if you engage me my knowledge
of shorthand and type-writing will be
valuable to you in your business"
"You are too ornamental to be useful"
roughly replied the merchant, "and |
am Inot marrying man. A pretty
typewriter would just waste her time
on me-" But, SIR tearfully pro-
claimed the maiden, II have no matri-
monial design; | simply want to be
assister To you."--Baltimore american.
Teacher-Meyer, supposing buy one
and seven-eighths ellis of cloth, costing
one and eleven-twelfth thalers. for
pair Of pants, can you tell me how much
shall have to give for the clothg Meyer
with soul above frsctlons)--Sir, one
and seven-eghths ellis of cloth is not
sufficient to make you pair of pants.
You will wants two ellis. Then, take
my advice and don't go and buy cloth
at one and eleven-twelftbs thalers, but
something little better for two thalers.
That will make IL exactly two thalers.-
Buntes fcai!A,gon.
Daughter-.I can't marry that man.
He's bad. Alother--My dear, think how
very, very ricl:.- Daughter-In his
youth ne Killed man. Mother-Youih
can be forgiven many follies. Think
how rich Daughter-Once he stole
$4,000 and lis father had to pay it.
Mother-Ihat was all hushed up Think
how rich Daughtcr-Iie is an awful
drunksrd. Mother-Alany gentlemen
drink little, my dear, and I'm sure he
can afford Daughter-He says you
are old and awkward Mother-The
wretch He sha'n't sec you again.
NcD York Weekly.
For Nervous Debility Use Horsford's Acid
Phosphate. DR.. A. NJ. Billy, Mitchell.
OAK, says: 81 have used it in number