The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1891-09-03
MERRY MON TENTS,


A learned judge has decided that
progressive euchre" is gambling.
Good gracious! If he saw some of it
he'd say it wasn't even playing.
A South Carolina colored man
breaches in his sleep. The general
rule, it will be remembered, among
the clergy is to preach in other folks
sleep.
II feel ejectedp exclaimed Mrs.
FangIe. "You mean detected" said
her husband, with u superior air OF
wisdom. "No; | mean elected feel
put out you know. Judge.
The Rev. DR.. Primrose-"WLeny you
were stealing the cake, my young
friend, what thought did you have?"
Little Johnnie-"I thought nobody
was looking. 1.-The Epoch.
Mumby-"Say, when two trains
collide they call it q telescope, don't
they?" Dumley-"Yes; why?" Num-
by-"Nothing, only l was wonder
ing why they don't call it q collideo-
scope"
He-"Why do you break the en-
gagement?' She-"Because pas dog
bit you last night, and would
not run the risk of bringing hydro
phobia into the family for the whole
world"
1t is believed that women contract
the prediction about their ages
from the way, when they are little
girls, their parents lie about the
same subject to conductors and tick
ct sellers.
"Give me the man who sings at his
work." says writer. He can have
him. And amusement-goers will ap-
prove also Of giving him many OF
the men and women who sing on the
stage, providing he can induce them
to follow some other calling.
She Dining for pleasant Words
Oh, George, I cannot understand it.
Why do you lavish this wealth OF
love on me when there ore so many
girls more beautiful and more
worthy than l? Helm darned if l
know.
Watts-'T suppose your wife is like
most wOmen-never admits that she
made mistake" Wickwire-"Oh,
she occasionally asserts that she
madea mistake marrying me, but
she never admits even that outside of
the family"
Lawyer-''Did you ever notice any
signs of insanity in the defendant"
Witness-"OnIy on one occasion. A
passenger picked up dollar in q
horse car one day and he was the
only man on board who said he
hadn't lost it,"
"Willets-"Tell me, really, are you
just as happy, now you are married,
Us you we're when you were engag-
ed?" MiIIets-"Why, certainly. Her
father pays all of her expenses just
the same as he did before we were
married.
"And now, my good man, what are
you going to do with it?" asked the
stingy rich man ola beggar to whom
he had given a two-cent piece.
'"That's Just what troubles me, sir:
1t is so hard to make a wise descis-
ion; and | have always been unac-
customed to wealth."
They had chicken for dinner, and
the host said to the guest: "Didn't
| hear you say that you liked the
neck of the chicken best? The visit
or, who liked the necks with some of
the rest, said: "Yes." "Well, you
shall have both ofthese necks," and
that was all he got.-Christian Ad-
VOcate.
Mrs. TODD, the wife of the Amherst
astronomer who has gone to Africa
to observe the eclipse, helped her
husband greatly in his preparations.
She read every book concerning the
coast to which the expedition was
going, and read him selected pas
sages daily. She also worked up for
mulas and details Of geography for
him.
Resident-Do you see that fat,
jolly-looking man across the street?
When he came to this country ten
years ago he had just money enough
to buy little patch of ground on a
creek bottom. Now he's worth $780,
600. Made it all by farming and
dairying and good management.
Stranger-Who is that old, thin,
laded-looking woman with him?
CHATS his wife. Chicago Tribune
A very busy Chicago banker was
to be married to an Omaha
girl, and the day fixed was
June 4, at high noon. The day
came, but the groom did not mate
rialize, and at 8 A. NJ. this tele.
gram was received: "For heavens
sake tell US what is the matter, this
is your wedding day; the hour ap-
proaches." He was scared half out
of his wits, and rushing to the tcle
graph office sent this answer
''Thought l had three days grace
Don't let it go to protest. Coming
on the next train" The wedding
was late, but it was merry one, and
all was forgiven.