The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1891-02-26
ESTABLISHED 1865

leased and carried before the Suprem
Spanker for further enlightenment; AM
while he is making the circuit of tn
room the brothers will sing, On Green
lands Icy Mountains as notice tina
the candidate is beginning to shivir IL
the cold air Of the room."
The Supreme Spanker sat upon bal
of hay. He ordered the bandage re
moved frem the candidates eyes, re
marking that he had perhaps pro
gressed far enough to stand the light o
the Alliance; and, besides, be was t.
go through another ordeal that required
all Of a mans faculties to endure.
The seeker Of light was then led VI
to barrel, and in twinkling stretched
over it.
Bring forth the sub-treasury plank,
commanded the Supreme Spanker
"and convince the new brother that l
is not rotten one, but made OF good
sound timber. Let the high Examine
do bis duty like good and true ALI
ance man, while we will all sing:
"Once was blind, but now see.'
Forty times that plank rose in the
air aid came down with mighty
thump, before tine writhing victim wa:
released and carried before the Supreme
Spanker again, to have the lesson hf
had just received explained.
you have passed through one, o.
the most beautiful and edifying chap
ters in the Alliance mode of initiation
You have publicly asserted that we
had only one plank in our platform
and that rotten one. / feel assured
that you are now prepared to correct
this statement, and ascert that our sub
treasury plank is one Of the soundesl
thaty have ever felt. We have sew
eral other planks, as we can prove tc
your entire satisfaction, if so desired
Oh! you say you are satisfied! Well
be careful in the future how you speak
slurringly of something you know
nothing about. Now carry the candi,
date, brother conductor, for other use
full lessons, and while he is on the move
let the members sing":
"This is the way l long have sought"
The Great Drencher had on table
before him three black feathers and d
goblet half filled with what appeared
to be old Bourbon.
after bis long fatiguing pilgrimage
our brother is doubtless in need Of rest
and refreshments. Place chair that
he may be seated" .
This was done, but by some sleight-of-
hand the candidate made a miss, and
landed on the floor.
MY unfortunate brother, you have
now learned the uncertainty of political
Just as a man thinks he
has found u nice, comfortable seat, the
Alliance S ips it from beneath him, and
indeed is his disappointment.
| spoke just now of refreshments, and
had prepared a nice mess Of corn for
you; but l now discover in your recent
anxiety to explain that famous speech
you made before the Alliance conven-
ion, that you have already eaten all Of
he sub-treasury crow except few tail
feathers. But here is u glass of Jeffcr-
'onian Democracy, according to the
Epistle of the Romans, that you were
20 partial to a short time since. This is
be last of the cask and please swallow
he same. Well, if you hesitate, [ have
o order the grand eXecutioner to show
7ou another one Of the planks in our
platform. All, you find the liquid is
'ncased in glass, so that it will not wet
'our parched lips. That, my brother,
S modern Jeffersonian Democracy. It
S very nice to look upon, but like Dead
Sea fruit, is tasteless. This shows you
hat to depend on other classes than
he Alliance and the organized Demo
racy for office and honor is to partake
# a phantom political lunch.
"This, my newly-made brother ends
be first degree in the Farmers Alli-
nee. I trust the great and beautiful
ruths you have seen illustrated to-day
will make lasting impression on your
mind. The brethren will now join
lands, and while they marched around
be new member sing:
Once was lost, but now I am found"
Thus ended one of the most enter
aiming ceremonies ever performed III
ur State.
1t is to be regretted that every ALI
nceman in Georgia could not have
'itnessed the snatching of this distin-
uished brand from the fire built around
by the politicians.
rank Leslie's Popular Monthly for March,
1891.
Richard 3. Kimball's interesting
storical paper on 1.-THE Early Days of