davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Sothern Hops Around on One Foot.

don't know whether mine will be very
funny to tell about it. but it certainly was
funny to mo. | was playing the part of a
rough country lad in the Master of Wood
barrow" who, by the sudden death of three
relatives, is installed at the old manor
house at the head of the family.
Thu priegish old butler, who has rele-
gated to himself the right to instruct me in
all the intricacies of the gentlemen's toilet,
so exaspet ates me on ono occasion that l
draw Oft one of my slippers and fling it at
hiS head.
Well, ON the night in question we were
playing Mt the Lyceum. Augustus Cook,
the butler, got n little too far
Gown toward tho footlights, and when he
Godged tho slipper it sailed out into the
auditorium. barely missing the head of II
ttont gentleman seated about half way
down the aisle.
There was II laugh Mt this, of course. but
4 grew into n roar when tho bald-headed
RAN, whose face rivaled nm Italian sun
80 in tho brilliancy of its coloring. hastily
lose, picked W the slipper, put it IN HIS
oket and staiked Indignantly out of tho
tD"atsr.
1t was too near the end Of the scene TO
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

hearsed the scream with me, SO when she
dashed on and gave an unearthly yell it
nearly frightened me to death.
stubbed my toe, fell sprawling, and lost
one of my sidewhiskers. l couldn't utter a
word and didn't do so during the whole
performance. They thought | would gain
courage rs the piece progressed, but during
the third act the orchestra came in with a
few thrilling bars of music and l complete
ly lost my head, and l dashed out of the
theater to find the depot and take the next
train for Boston.
As l entered the cars with makeup on, a
black streak on my cheek from blackened
eyebrows, and my wig at one side, pas
sengers thought I was staring mad. On
reaching home l rushed in to my mother,
who thought l was going to be a second
Booth, begging her not to send me on the
stage again, but to get me a position in
some store. NAT G. GOODWIN. JR.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Nat Goodwin's Mishnp.

Before ! ever went on the stage / used to
take part in amateur affairs in my mothers
parlors in Boston, and l bothered Charlie
Thorne to death to get me a place in some
company.
My friends also said they were convinced
l had talents. So, finally, Ihorne secured
me a position in a company then playing a
piece called "a Bottle" Providence was to
be the place where l made my debut, and
the part assigned me was the old-time gen.
tlemanly villain who comes to the village
and captures the heart of the rustic beauty.
I had rehearsed several times and was
sure | knew it all.
The heroine was to rush on with a scream
and 1 run after her; but she hadn't re-
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
dancing away at my very best before a most

dancing away at my very best before a most
Appreciative though perhaps rather noisy
audience, when suddenly two of tho stage
props gavs way and down went one end of
tho platform. Quick as Il flash the manager
lifted the fallen end and placing it on his
shoulder, went on coolly playing his fiddle
and shouted excitedly to NE to go ahead
with my jig.
Well, tho sight of that old fellow there,
bsnt double. holding the stage up to pre-
vent spelling the performance, l shall never
forget as long rs | live.
Ihs spectators shouted and applauded
and went way telling everybody that it
messed. HENRY T.. DIXEY.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Latest Notice to Teachers Going to Toront

Latest Notice to Teachers Going to Toronto
As the instructions regarding the "Ohlcial
Route for Toronto" nave been withdrawn
by the superintendent of schools, thus ena-
bling teachers to select their own route, the
Union Pacific system respectfully ~solicits u
share of the patronage of the citrzens going
from Helena and vicinity. No other line
can offer choice of routes via Denver, Kansas
City, Omaha and Chicago, and for speed
comfort and safety cannot be excelled.
Tickets sold July 6 to H. good fer return
mission fee. Remember the Union Pacific
runs. solid vestibule train md dining cal
between the east and west, and will limit
tickets same as via other lines. Berthf
reserved free of charge. Reserve them
early. Call on or address me for further
particulars. HI. o. WILSON,
Freight and Passenger Agent.
% North Main street.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Robert billiards. Coolest Night.

The funniest part of my funny experience
was that l played the joke on myself. l
WAS a manager when it happened. One
night when Wesley Sisson and l were rum
ming the Criterion theater in Brooklyn
several years ago we were sitting in the box
office attired in dress suits, silk hats and
patent feathers. congratulating ourselves
on the strength of the big house the cur
rent piece was drawing, when n boy rushed
up to the window and gasped out the start
ling news that some hoodlums were carting
off one of our big twenty-four sheet bill
boards.
Accounted rs / was l dashed out into the
street, not even stopping to put on my
overcoat, although there was snow on the
ground and the weather was biting cold.
After a chase of at least half a mile the
boy and | caught up with the robbers, and
sure enough there laid the big bill board
face downward resting on the sides of the
truck.
After being pelted with snowballs by
small boys and nearly mobbed by the half
grown thieves, | at last succeeded in wrest-
ing the reins from the driver and started
lickerty split back to the theater.
When the board had been taken off and
lifted up against the wall, what do you
think it read? POSITIVELY last week of
Booth and Barrett at Sims New Park
theater."
Next day l sent Sim a bill for a new hat
and u pair of pumps, but he must nave for
gotten my address, for | / hadn't heard from
him up to the time | left home this morn
ing. koBERT +. HiLLIARD.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

Mortified Some Good Citizens OF Topeka.
My funniest stage experience did not
happen on tho stage at all. 1t happened
when ! was billed for Topeka. Kan. When
my train arrived in Topeka, half n dozen
gentlemen came into the oar and said to
me: SIS this Mr.. Murphy" to which | ro-
piled it was, whereupon with a few pleas
ant remarks they led me out to q carriage
near the depot. 1t was n frightfully rainy
day and ! remember thinking ii extremely
queer that any ono should meet mo with n
oarriage; but having played to big houses
all around there | concluded it was a little
act of courtesy IN the part of Topeka cit
liens.
We drove to the hotel and the rest of my
company went to theirs. Immediately up
on our arrival in the parlor l touched the
bell. Upon the boy answering my sum
mons l turned to my companions and said:
Gentlemen. what will you have? A glass
of beer, wine. cigars or anything you
| choose"
The faces of the men. as I said this, were
a study, and they exclaimed: why, |
don't know what you mean, MI. Murphy"
II mean simple courtesy" returned.
ut is certainly customary to offer a glass
Of wine in return for such a welcome as
yours"
''This is outrageous cried one of them,
that you should come here tonight to LEG
ture on temperance and talk about drink
ing.' To which l answered that l was 60
ing to do nothing of the kind.
"Are you not Mr.. Francis Murphy?" they
asked.
mo. 1 am Joe Murphy, the actor" / said.
smiling. and they dashed out of the door in
search of their right visitor.
Well, it seems some big temperance so
ciety there was to have Francis Murphy, a
we'll known temperance lecturer. there ON
train arrived some five minutes after mine,
and he was obliged to carry his valise
through The rain to a near hotel, unwel-
coined and alone. afterwards became &C.
quainted with him and we enjoyed a good
laugh over the mistake.
JOSEPH MIRpuy.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
went along swimmingly until tho middle Of

went along swimmingly until tho middle Of
tho last act.
At this point, having already disposed Of
one of my throo mortal cnomiea, l engage
tho second in u fight with swords, md M he
falls. TO tho ground pierced through tho
heart, l step quickly beside the body and
raising the index and middle fingers Of my
right hand toward Heaven l oxclaim,
Two"
Hoyt's farce comedy, "a Bunch of Keys."
was playing ACROSS ut the Bush street thea
ter, and rs I afterward learned a catch line
of tho piece was just then in ~everybody'a
mouth. l had scarcely uttered tho excla-
nation when a gallery god fend with all
the force Of his lungs, aided by n high
pitched voice, shouted, well you don't get
That l wns confounded the audience
could plainly SEQ from my expression, and
this of course added to tho exquisite humol
Of the situntion.
As the laughter Increased instead OF
diminishing ! noddedt to tho state manage
who rang down the curtain until quiet WA
again restored. JAMES ONEILL.
Copyright.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Il. 8. willard and the Fat Super.

" COCkNEY GOD FUK-
Ak nished the material for this anus
~ ing "reminiscences of mino. It was
y during my early days on the stage
and l was playing a part in a holiday pan
tomime called the "Seyen Devils" At one
point in the piece the devils one by one
sink through II trap on their way, pre-
sumably, to the neither regions. On this
night, however, one of the demons failed to
,naterialize at the theater, and at the last
moment one of the supers was pressed into
service. In the hurry and excitement his
bulk had not been considered, and when
the other six had safely descended it was
found that the fat tuper was many sizes toe
large for the opening in the trap. There he
stuck in spite of the combined efforts of all
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
California Excursion Rates.

The Union Pacific will soil on the 18th Of
next mon tn round trip excursion tickle ts IL
follows: Butte to San Francisco via Port
land or Ogden. both directions, $75; San
Francisco, going via Portland and return
ing via Ogden, or vice versa, $50; to Los
Angeles, going and returning via Portland,
entering San Francisco in one direction
either going or returning, $3.50; to Los An
geles. going via Portland and San Fran
cisco and returning via Sacramento and
Ogden, $3.50.
The above tickets are good going sixty
(GO) DAYS and good for return passage any
time within six months from date of sale.
Those desiring to take advantage of these
rates may cal. on or address
IL. q. WILSON, +. & p. A..
% North Main street.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
"stand Up" Marshall +. wilder.

OF course you know Mazo Edwards. He
used to be treasurer in the Fifth avenue
box office, and is a very little man like my
self. One day as l went in to get some
tickets he was standin0 at the window SELL
ing, his head just coming up to tho edge of
the window. Mine just came up to tho
odge outside, and in my naturally deep
voice | opened up and said, Give mo two
seats In G. please"
"Stand up he called angrily. thinking l
was a tall man who had stopped down to
guy him.
"Stand up yourself" I answered quickly,
at which, recognizing the joke. wo both
laughed heartily. Merrily yours.
MARSHALL l.. WILDER.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
An Embarrassing Situation.

1t was when I first went on the stage that
] had my funniest experience. We were
then playing around in the small towns ana
I was fred on, as we call it, to hold the
STAGE while the carpenters set the next
scene.
Ny part was a small one and mainly con-
sisted of explaining some of the characters
in the play. from which remarks the actors
came on and took their cues.
On this particular night l had finished
my allotted speech and waited vainly for
the appearance of the men to follow me.
No one came. walked nervously to the
left wing and peered into the first entrance,
but not q soul was to be seen. ! walked to
the right and glanced up and down,
but not even a stage hand was in
sight. 1 knew very little of the farce
and what to do 1 didn't know, SO
/ marched back and forth on the
stage with tragic gestures, muttering a few
pearance of reality to my performance, but
the gallsry gods "were on to me- and en-
livened the scene by calling out various
things, such as Its about time you went
off," ''Oh, you'll be sorry for this when
you get SOBER" etc.
Finally, after what seemed hours, but
which was in reality only a few moments,
the players appeared, the scene went on and
! made my escape.
1t seems that the trap door behind the
scenes had been left open by mistake and
one of the young women had fallen
through.
She fell O. some soft stuff and was not
injured, but everybody, including the stage
hands, had run down stairs to see her, for
getting all about me and that | was holding
the stage. NEIL BURGESS.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
NJ
TIL

Room Sleepers Dining Cars and Ccnrhss a
latest desiSn,, between Chicago AMI milwaukee,
and st: Paul and Minneapolis.
faat Trains with Pullman Nostibuled Drawing
Room Shoppers, Dining Cars and Coaches II
latest design, between Chicago and Nilwaukeo
and Ashland and Duluth.
Through. Pullman Ncsti5uled Drawing Room
and tolonist Sleepers via the Northern Pncitlc
haiiroad between Chicago and Portland, Orc,
Convenient Trains to and from Eastern. Wcat-
srn, Northern and Conttal Wisconsin points. az.
Iordlng uIloqnaliod snryice, to and from Wauns-
sn ans, fona gu Lac, Oshkosh, Eau Claire. Hurley.
Wis, and lronwood and Besscmer. Mich.
FOR tickots, sleeping-car rys ,~ryatiun, time IA.
o,ies and other Information, apply to ugents OF
United States OF Canada.
4. Ainslio, Gent MANAGER, Milwaukee, Wiz.
J. M, HHnnAford, General Traffic Manager.
st, Paul, Mimi.
u. G. Barlow, Traffic Manager, Milwaukee; WA
Louis Ecks,ein, Asst, denl Pass r Ag't,,
Nlwaukeo. Wis.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

the devils to pull him through by the legs.
This Of itself was intensely funny, but when
one of the gallery boys in a tone of intense
relief, sang out at the top of his voice,
''Thank the Lord, 'Ell's full" there was a
universal shout of laughter in which every
body in the building joined, with the single
exception of the fat super.
EDw. s. WILLARD,
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
TO Chicago in LESS than IA Hours
= NORTHWESTERN LINE
!. ST. P M. 4 0. Ry. c. & NV. Ry.
The Shortest and Best Line From st. Paul
to Chicago, Sioux City and Omaha.

The only line running al its Passenger Trains
In less than II hours between Nj, Paul and Chi
cago, and while this time ia quick. trains do not
havo 10 run ut as high rate of speed to mako
their time w on other limos, because this line il
shorter than any Other line.
Tho Pullman and Wagner Ncstihuied Limit
cd" leaving st, aul AT $50 +. nj makes the
trip to Chicago in i3'a hours, returning In Is
hours and ~ minutes,
THE Daylight t4xprcts," leaving st, Paul as
i:4h A. M, makes tho trip to Chicago In IL hours
and 80 minutes, returning in ID houra and A
minutes,
This is tho only limo by which connections ara
assured in Chicago with nll fast line trains from
Chicago to Tho east aud south in tho morning
and mt night
Close connections arc made at 81. rnpl with
Northern Pacific and Great Nor,hotn trains
For rates. maps, folders, etc. apply to
G. I. NJ, TIMING, General Agent,
Bailey Block, No, as N. Man ST., Helena. Mont.
y, w. TEAspAI4s,
Gen. Pass, Agent. st. Paul. Minn.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
What a Noted Physician Says.

CHICAGO, jan. 81, 1883.
w. p. Wisdom:
Dear Sir-As you requested ] have exam
ined the formula of your toilet preparation
called 'Robertine." / can assure you that
the ingredients are both bland and harm
less, and that the compound would form an
excellent application in irritated condi-
ions Of the skin. Yours truly,
ARTHUR DEAN BEvAN, M. d.
Professor of Anatomy, Rush Medical Col
lege and p. A. Surgeon. U. S. M. II. S.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
A Gallery God Gets in on o,Ne,,I.

was playing Monte Cristo' at tho Cali.
fornia theater. San Francisco, several years
ago., when an incident occurred that fur
nished more amusement to tho audience
than any Of which l have ever known.
The house WAS packed and everything
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
A Jig on His Managers Back.

Most of my experience with stage mis-
takes have been stupid rather than funny,
but ] remember one little incident which
was almost pathetic as we'll as amusing.
1t happened when l WAS q boy and be-
longed to a snap company-barn-storming
around the country.
The mage of the show was also leader
OF the orchestra of three pieces end played
first fiddle.
The stage consisted of a platform held
up by wooden horses. One night 1 was
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

NOTICE OF ASSESSMENT - CATARACv
ing district, Jetier, ON county, Montana.
Notice ia hereby given tlat \ lncetipg of tho
trustoes of said company, held on the 18th day of
June, 1871, an assessment of two cents per
share, WAS lcvied upon tho capital stock of said
company, taxable ON the 10Th day OF July, 1871,
10 tho secretary OF said company at his office,
No. 30 South Main street, in tho city of Helena.
Montana,
Any stock upon which said assess ment shall re-
main unpaid on tho 2utn day of July, 1891, shall
be- dorla' el delinquent and shall be- duly adver-
tiseu for ale at rublic auction. and unless pay
mont shall be mate before VIII besold on the S0th
together Va = tho coat of nd .ertisins and expense
Of sale. JOHN /. kUONlZ, Soc.
Ne. Sc South Msts Street. UloicnS. Montana.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

NOTlCETO CREDITORS-IN THE DISTRIC,
~ court of tho First judicial district OF tho state
Clarke. 40
In the matter OF tho estate OF George Il. Staplsa.
deceased. SN~
notica Is hereby given by tho undersigned. adj
minlstratrix Of the estate of George 4. Staples.
ueteastu, 10 the creditors OF, and all persons hay.
lnen Win the necessary. vouchers within four
months after the fret publication of this notics.
Marysvi'lc, Montana, tho Same being tho placS FOR
the transaction OF tho busincss of said estate ia
the said county OF Lewis and tlarko. -.
HELENA STAPLES.
Administrative OF the estats VI George L Rtsn'Az.
Deceased.
Dated April 80. 1891.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
Death From Kidney Disease

Is the unfortunate and untimely ending of
of the American people annually.
Oregon Kidney Tea is guaranteed to cure
all forms of kidney troubles. Take it in
time.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05

From the country, from the city,
Come the Achooima'ms young and pretty,
Going to the great convention, the convention
at Toronto;
These young ladies' heads are level,
Via the Wabashllne they travel.
Thereby getting choice of two outes with
through sleepers to TOrOnto.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-05
NOT Down ON THE PLAY BILLS.
GOOD STORIES TOLD BY ACTORS.


make it worth while sending the butler for
another slipper, 80 ] hoped around on one
foot until the curtain went down.
EDw. SoTHERN.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1891-06-09
Order to Show Cause.

In the Probate Court, county of Boise,
State of Idaho.
In the matter of the estate of Esther A
Kingsley, mentally incompetent.
Charles S. Kingsley, the guardian of
Esther A. Kingsley, mentally incompe-
tent, having filed his petition herein pray
ing for an order of sale of certain real es-
tate of said ward, for the purposes de-
scribed in SAID petition, the said real es-
tate being described as follows:
Commencing at point on the north
side OF Wall street, fifty nine (59) feet east
Of Myer & Smiths drug store, running
thence north one hundred and forty one
feet, thence east at right angle to the west
line of High street, thence along the west
line of High street in southerly direc-
ton to a point of intersection with the
north line of Wall street. thence west
along the north line of said Wall street to
point Of beginning, all in Idaho City,
Boise county, Idaho. 1t is therefore or
derec that all persons interested in the es-
tate of said ward, appear before me on
Tuesday, the lst day OF July 1891, at 10
O'Clock IN the forenoon OF said day, at the
Probate court room in Idaho City, Boise
county, Idaho, to show cause why an or
der should not be granted to said Charles
5. Kingsley to sell said real estate as
prayed for in said petition.
And that copy of this order be pub
llshed at least three consecutive weeks in
Idaho World, a newspaper printed and
published in said county.
JAMES J. MARsK,
Probate Judge.
DafaI Iupn 1901
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1891-06-09

JOHN Brown, superintendent of
the Elm'ra company, returned Sunday
from New York. Mr.. Brown saws
the cause of silver, he thinks, is gain.
ing little in the East. The people
seem to be awakening to the benefits
that would result from the free coin
age of American silver, but there is
great opposition to opening our mints
to the free and unlimited coinage Of
European silver so long as European
countries will not lift the white metal
to its old position. Free coinage of
American silver is good enough. The
miner will get $l.29, the coin value,
for his silver, and with an increased
coinage all productive enterprises, as
we'll as mining, will be benefited.
Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1891-06-09
A SHOWER OF FROGS

Inc Malad Enterprise takes the
cake on frog yarns. II Won don,t
'"'nN So read the following:
AN unprecedented phenomenon
was witnessed last Sunday by par
ty OF six young men while out nIe.s
ure-rlolng In the vicinity of the base
OF the EIkhorn mountain, at the head
OF Malad valley. A dense black
oioua was seen approaching from the
southwest, about which faint streaks
OF lightning played, accompanied bv
low rumblings of thunder, giving ev-
cry evidence that dashing shower
would be upon them with the sud-
oehness peculiar to local rains of that
section, unless small houses on a sheen
ranch, some two miles distant. conld
De reached in very short time. A
dash was made as if by common con.
sent, by four of the party for the
shelter of the ranch, but the cloud
met them within a mile of the house,
out TO their CONSERVATION, instead of
the rain they expected to meet, liv-
ing frogs came down on all sides by
tens OF thousands. In speechless
alarm they laid whip to their frlgh-
tened ponies and were soon through
the shower of cold, wreaking anima
ton. Two of the party who had rid
den In advance of the rest were some
distance above the snow line on the
mountains. Imagine their amaze.
ment when the forest trees and the
frozen snow resounded with the pat
ter of frozen frogs that blinded the
air in their descent. Thousands
came rolling over the frozen crust
and the rough bark and dead boughs
fell from the trees, SO great was the
momentum of the shower, and, but
for the refuge offered by the leaning
trunk of great pine, the conse-
quences to the two men would have
been serious. The shower did not
last over five minutes, and an investi.
cation showed that the phenomenon
did not extend more than half mile
above the snow line, being altogether
about three miles in length and from
a quarter to half mile WIDE. None
of the frogs seemed to suffer the least
inconvenience from their aerial tour,
as those in the valley soon hoped
away, while the hibernated ones that
were carried beyond the snow line
soon resuscitated. People are coming
for miles around to secure specimens
of the shower. 1t is safe to say that
there is nothing so remarkable on
record.