New-York tribune., 1891-05-01

According to a local paper wild fowl will. under
any circumstances, pass under the Mississippi River
Bridge. The other day wounded goose foated down
the stream until 1t to tie bridge. but would 20
no further 1t semned the tide until completely ex-
haused. and then to the shore. permitting boy
to capture ii.
THE PROFESSOR AND THE WHITE VIOLET.
The Professor.
Tell me- little violet white,
IL YOU will be s. polite,
Tell me how IL came that you
Lost your pretty purple huel
Were you blanched with sudden fearsi
We're you bleached with fairies tears
Or was Dame Nature out of blue,
Violet when she came TO youl
The Violet.
Tell me, silly mortal. first,
Ere satisfy your thirst
For the truth concerning me
Why are You not like a tree
Tell me why you move around
Trying different kinds OF ground,
With your funny legs and boots,
In the place Of proper roots
Tell me, mortal, why your head.
Where green branches ought t. spread,
Is as shiny smooth as glass.
With Just fringe of frosty grassl
Tell NEWLY, he's gene away
Wordcr why he wouldn't stayl
Can he be--well. declare
Sensitive about his hair!
-(0liver Herford In ST. Nicholas foc May.
An Engshwoman OF the lower classes suffering from
a severe bite in the arm was admitted the other day
10 n LOUuOH hospital n uDp, L SuppOst, Shiu thO
Doctor looking at the bite "No, siro was the digni-
fed reply, another lydy Qady).'
An Undercut-Jenny (at the wlndow)-There go
Clara and Tenie. ] don't like those girls.
Ktty-But you must learn to like them, dear, now
that You are engaged to Tom. .
Jenny-What has that to do with my liking or dis
Ktty-They have both agreed to r" sisters to him
-tIuck.
A Chicago man has Just had coatof-arms fixed
up, with the motto "An thn-s cS.ne to him who
hustles.n
Mrs BroTnAnG what are re yen ,fons to give Maud
Mr. W Whteoh. ys Settled led upon something that
thought lovely, and know it Is Just the thing she
wants badly.
Mir. White--A packet of letters she wrote me while
we were engaged.-(Harpers Bazar
The following advertisement recently appeared In a
German newspaper: "Wanted by lady of quality,
for adequate remuneration, few well-belavcd ana
respectfully dressed children to amuse cat IN delicate
health two three hours q day.
A oumeyman shoemaker was seized with violent
ut OF coughing at The dinner table.
"What is the matter with youin said his master
have got something down tho wrong throat was
Look here" rejoned the gaGcr, 81 can't do with
fellow who has gOt pair of throats now that every
thing so Observation-Disclosures Dorfreltung.
There is a paper in Harlan County, KY, which
may fairly claim to be entirely free from sensatonal
ISM The other day 1t contained the following aconic
paragraph: "Alcck Smith was killed yesterday by a
man Of the name Of Holbrook. We did not learn the
particulars
81 wanted TO ask you something" he said, with a
look OF much anxiety In his face YES she replied
as Sudden smile illuminated her cOuntenance
little silly -
u doG't think It will, George
"Well-your father
lie likes you very much, George -
Does hef Wen. when he came home today did
he happen to-tel you what the score was came
down In such hurry that | didn't have time 30 look
at a paper .'-(Washington Post.
In 1922. Arthur st. Clair, of Cincinnati. sold piece
Of land for ~ 25whIch Is thus described In the deed
The 1000 pit. Of an inch from the n. corner Of
lot No. 90 and running south Ia of IN. thence W.
the back line of said lot; thence Ia OF an inch
thence e. to point OF beginning This Is probably
the smallest real estate transaction on record.
Brown-Why n time do the papers make 50 much
over BXby's household infelcllles It's nobody's
business anyhow
Fogg-My dear boy. 1T is because II Is nobody's
business that everybody Is interested In it.(Boston
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