The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-03-12
STIRRED UP A wHiRLwiND.


Had Nickel Gets the Melancholy Man
Into Trouble.
Twas a melancholy looking man who
marshaled himself and an ominous frown
into the car at Grand avenue Friday
morning. Ills right hand was bare and
clenched and his left was enveloped in
thick. wooden mitten. He suspended
himself from q strap because no seat
was ready to receive him and his too
apparent anxiety, and as he gently
l,,rched from side to side he viewed
with evident envy the more or less
placid faces bent over the morning
prints. The main object of his observa-
ton was a thin man with mutton-chop
whislsers, who edged this way and that
to gi~c lecway for the unexpected move
ments Of the new passenger. The lat
ter opened his right hand, gazed rue
fully into it, pushed the mans paper
aside and said:
lis that counterfeit ?"
The thin man wasn't pleased. Every
body in the immediate neighborhood
saw that. but he pushed down his spec
tactics and replied in self defensive
tone:
''Ilow do l know ?"
Look at it p commanded the melan-
choly man. is there grease on it !?
Has the sun melted the edge of Is
the date upside down, or" he added. as
summing an air Of waleful and senor-
Gus suspicion, docs it look AS il l
made it outen an old lead pipc?"
1T doesn't interest me, sir" said the
thin man, endeavoring to give the i'm
preston that an illustrated furniture
advertisement in his paper had secured
his whole attention. Il don't care one
way or t'other."
.'Don't?" cried the other. whose mel
ancholy had given way to anger. do
you mean to say, sir, that q cross-eyed
ticket-seller has right to tell me this
coin isn't worth any thing when the
train is just about at the station? Dc
you mean to insinuate that am run
ming counterfeit factory, where turn
out five-cent pieces with q bullet mold
and a plaster-of-paris cast? Do you mean
to work your cadaverous features into
the expression you haven't courage
enough to give voice to, that tina,
crooked-nosed ticxet-seller suspected
that was regularly robbing the Gov
ernment?"
The thin man didn't reply; in fact, HI
seemed to be the least interested.
benevolent-looking, round-faced passen
ger leaned over the speakers shoulder
and, after look at disreputable imi
tation of five-cent piece, sighed. Thi
seemed to lend additional eloquence *
the melancholy person. and he snatche,
the paper from the thin mans hand
seized him by the collar and shouted:
.'Why don't you talk? Why don
you have courage enough to say tina
I'm am escaped bank thief. forger,
rag-picker, dealer in second-han,
hand-organs? What do We twitch ye
whiskers for? Why don't you talk Vi
like man and back up the black muz
zled tickct-seller? You know yo
think that's counterfeit. why dom
you say"
The thin man broke off the speech b
disturbing the others breakfast. H
laid the melancholy mans form on tn
mating, and while his arms few aroun
like windmill on q stormy day h
gasped:
I'm not Constant Reader whack
I'm not, 'Veritas,' nor [whackl any .
those fellows (whackl; but il you war
q downright (whackl argument [whacl
on counterfeits, here's [whackl one
my kind for you."
The brakeman escorted the melar
choly man out ut the next station an
gently told him where the nearest drut
gist did business. Brooklyn Eagle.