The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-05-09
THE OMNIBUS.
A sugar trust--lxisses on credit.

Patience" should be taken of a
monument and put ut the end OF a
telephone.
Coral do so adore a masquerade
ball. One can be made love to and
no one knows who Is who.
There are throe things that beat a
drum for noise-one is a small boy and
the other two are drumsticks.
Temperance lecturers should avoid
bowling alleys. 1t doesn't sound well
to hear them shouting, ''Set 'em up
againr'
Talmage says: 1--WE cannot go to
heaven by steam" Husbands who are
constantly in 'hot water will please
take the hint.
Tom-Come what may, shall never
marry woman who isn't my superior
intellectually, Jack-I wish l could
get wife as easy as you can.
Maud-George told me last night he
was madly in love with me. Ethel
Poor fellow, perhaps he is. I've heard
that insanity runs in his family.
What became of that Samuels girl
that Potterby was flirting with last
summerp" you mean the girl that
Potterby thought he was flirting with.
She married him."
ION what ground did Henshaw get
his pensionp I never heard that he
did any fighting during the war;"
"He didn't; but he claims that his
sympathies were enlisted"
He-I don't think the world is ex-
actly fair to mon. She-Why notp
He--Well, the man who has head.
for instance, gets ahead, while the
man who hasn't one doesn't
A girl may do her level best,
7 Use powder by the batch,
And yet she'll fail to go Off right
Unless she finds match.
"Why, you poor malarial mortal
you! ! thought you told me your aver
age health was good?" 80 I did ]
run to chills one day and fever the
next. The average is normal"
How pleasant that lady looks! She
seems perfectly happy" "Yes, she
must either have found pure religion
in her own heart or the seeds of sin in
the heart of one OF her neighbors.
A wealthy man was asked not long
ago to subscribe to worthy charity.
II should like to contribute. said he,
"but have $500, 900 in the bank not
earning cent and l really can't afford
| it,"
Something happened to me yester-
that will never happen to me again, II
live to be thousand years old, :" re-
marked Gilhooly to Gus de Smith.
What's that?" II was forty wears
old"
| why does Mr.. Lummix speak O
the pawnbroker as his unclep" asked
Mrs. Trotter OF her husband. care
they really relatedp" 'Oh, yes" res
piled Trotter. Their relationship il
a clothes one"
Strange thing how Winks ever got
the reputation of being wit" sale
Jaggleby. why, the only decen
thing he has gotten off all the evening
is his $50 overcoat, and he owes hi
tailor for that"
| An Haluen coy ana ueDOnalr,
With visage like the sainted,
fear you're not one-half so fair
| As nave seen you painted.
Brobson-It must hurt a foreigner
feelings to know that he is disqualified
for the presidency. Craig Nothing
compared to the agony OF the native
who realizes that his nationality dis
qualities him for the police force.
Mr.. Kinkhead-It seems evident II
me that they must have had pugilist:
in Biblical days. Mr.. Friendly-Fron
what do you draw your inferencep Mr.
K.-Why, from that well known sen
tence, Go to the ant, thou slugger.
Now, tell us the naked truth, +" sale
Mr.. Fosdick to his young son who wa:
under examination for boyish osca'
pade. Yes" added Mrs. Fosdick
who was a graduate of Vassar; "w,
want only the unclothed veracity."
Minnie-Oh, yes, Jennie Figg wa.
there, of course. And making hersel
generally obnoxious, as usual" Ma
mie--"You ought to be ashamed I,
talk so. Jennie doesn't make hersel
obnoxious. She's born that way Sh
merely makes herself conspicuous.
| Trained nurses are fast supersedina
the old-time sort described by Dickens
One of the latter employed in South
wark family, Is fond of large words,
The mother was Boosting Of her son'i
neatness. HE couldn't help it." sal,
the nurse; children inhale thing
like that from their parents" Sh
meant inherit.
Some might praise her starry eyes,
Some her lips or golden hair;
Some might laud her to the skies :.
For her dimpled cheek so fair;
Some might vaunt her Grecian nose
Or her dainty, shell-like ear
III Or her statuesque repose;
But for me who'vc had to hear
All her endless clack and din,
can only praise her chin
mo, George, our engagement mus
be broken. Father has failed, yo
know" When did your father failp
hadn't heard OF i'll" he said turning
pale. He failed yesterday and is YER
much FRUSTRATED In consequence. M
whole time must be given to him now
He needs my individual care and atten
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