Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-09-24

1T MAY BE so.
"Oh, Harry" she whispered, al love
you so much but really I'm too young to
think of getting married right away"
"Of course you are, darling" he
urged, "and that's why I'm so anxious to
have it come off early. When you get
older you will probably change your
mind. ~ Detroit Free Press.
DIVERSITY OF FASHION.
"Hello, Charley" l said, as took the
three-year-old boy on my knee. where's
your mother"
Cup stairs in her room"
"What is she doing?"
"Frizzing and kinking up her hair"
"And where's the girl?"
(Which one-Dinah?"
"Yes"
ooh, she's up stairs in her room"
"Well, what is she doing?"
"Oh, she's trying to get the kinks and
frizzes out of her hair"
And SO we go.-[Philadelphia Press.
AN EXPENSIVE DIET.
Mrs. Canby-Oh, Titus, the baby has
swallowed hairpin?
Mr.. Canby-That's it; just as | ex-
pected. Now you'll want money to buy
some more. It's nothing but money,
money, money in this house the whole
blessed time. I'll bet that baby has
swallowed more than $50 worth of hair
pins in the last three months. Now,
madam, this thing has got to stop right
here-either that baby will quit eating
hairpins and come down to common grub
like the rest of us, or I'll know the reason
why-you underestimate Epoch.
THE TIMID SUIT.
They say my flannel suit is loud,
But It's not thus thinks.
l know how timid It's and cowed,
And how, when wet, it shrinks.
-[Epoch.
IN VAIN.
Before you coldly reject me, Laura
Kajones," said the excited young man.
getting on his feet and speaking with
the eagerness of a grand-stand crank
shouting to old Cliff Carroll to pound out
another three-baser, 81 want you to hear
what | have to say. A cat can look at
Iuttll 4hiSo INuloiltS, ultt thS
individual on the footstool has right to
aspire to the fairest and best of earth's
possessions. Nature knows no aristoc-
racy. She bestows the same protection,
the same kindness, the same fostering
| care on the cocklebur that she does on
the $40 orchid. Men are equal. Why
shouldn't dare to lift my eyes to you?
| am as good man as George Ferguson
any day. He hasn't the capacity to
love you thousandth part as well as |
do. Who is George Ferguson, anyhow?
Why should | be afraid to rush in where
George Ferguson doesn't fear to tread?
Who made George Ferguson any better
than"
"Mr. Hankinson," interposed the
young lady, will you listen to me mo-
ment?"
"a moment, Laura. I'll listen an
hour a month, d"
"a moment will do, Mr.. Hankinson,"
said Miss Kaiones, yawning dsmally.
"You are simply talking through your
hat. - Chicago Tribune.
NOT UNANIMOUS.
"This is an empty world" sighed
Harkins.
II wish it were" retorted Barkins.
at has too many creditors in it for me-"
HAPPY MAN.
"Ah, Jonesy, old man," said Hicks, as
he and Jones walked home from the
club; "theres light in your window
for you. You married mem"
"By George so there ISL returned
Jones. Lets go back to the club. -
Puck.
ANXIOUS MOTHER.
Mrs. Lovely-My dear, you must ac-
cept some, one of your many admirers
pretty soon.
Miss Vera Lovely-Why, mamma?
because the parlor carpet near the
lounge is getting all worn out where they
have got down on their knees to pro-
pose. ."-[ Boston News.
APPLYING AT HEADQUARTERS.
"I understand that you have been at
tending the lecture on First Aid to the
Injured, Miss Rosalie," said the young
man.
"Yes," answered the sweet girl
"Can-can you tell me" whispered
the youth, drawing a little nearer, "what
you would do for bro-broken hearth
Truth.
THE TRoUTs APPEAL.
Don't visit the commonplace Winnepe-
sauke,
Or the rivulet Onoquinapaskesasonog-
nog,
Nor climb to the summit of Moosiauke,
And look eastward toward the clear
Umbagog;
But come into Maine to the Welokenne-
bacock
Or to the saucy little river Essiqualsa-
cook,
Or still smaller stream of Chinquassa-
bunticook,
Then visit me last on the great Anasa-
gunticook.
Bangor News.