The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-14

witty and proHigate young ahpe was in
PRODUCED into higher Pxrisian sbcieSy. he
said his first recollection Of the king was
seeing him seated 1t table between sbishop
and q courtesan.
The first witsicism of which there is
record is perhaps the best play on words OF
any credited TO him In a eoptrs yersy
with a young Norman officer the kttei, told
him ne had yet many things to learn, add
ing, Perhaps you have not yet beeIl TO
school" To which TglleyraAd replied. Il
have been to school and have learned my
letters, and know that an abbe "a B IS
not made 10 ceder &C d. and it's not 70 Ut
epee &c p can make me otter % IT," th', Is
making q most skilltul play en- eight lie :
tiers of the alphsbes.
II was this retort, reported to Nine. Oh I
Defaud, the blind but brilliant queen OF
the salons, that WOE .or Talleyrand SUM
mons to her presence, and when he had
bowed before her, that she might pass her
hand over his face and so fix his features
in her mind, she said: Arise, young man
Nature has been lavish of her gifts, and
your own foresight win render you in6e-
pendent Of those Of fortune"
Once Talleyrand was talking with Nine.
du Barry, the favcrite Of the king, and
she urged him to relate some adventure OF
gailantry. "Ah, madame" he sid. with
affected seriousness, Paris Is a place
where it is easier to succeed in sallantry
than to get benetlce." This truth pleased
the madame, and through her influence
the king bestowed ON Talleyrand the rev.
enues of two sbbeys-
One day he was seated between the
brilliant Nine. de Stael and the beautiful
Mime. Recamier. The Former pressed him
to say which ne would save il both were
drowning. He Gould not evade the ques-
ton, and at last replied, "Ah. madame.
you know how to SWIM"
Another day another gentleman was sit
ting between the same ladies. Here am
l." he said, addressing Talleyrand, "be-
tween intellect and beauty" Yes" said
Talleyrand, land without possessing
either"
To a friend who annoyed him by persist
ent praises Of lady at one Of the salons.
who was dressed in the extreme of the
fashion of those liberal days, be said: Eyes,
she is very beautiful, but as for her dress
it begins too late and ends too soon"
1t was Talleyrand who, having remon-
strated in vain wiSa Napoleon against his
invasion of Spain, when the emperor said,
THE war with Spain will only be a break
fast for me-" retorted, Il fear your majesty
will be long at table"
On another occasion, when they had had
a sharp controversy over political ques-
ton, and Napoleon had been more than
usually abusive, Talieyrand exclaimed
"What pity that SO great a man should
have been so i'll brought upp" a most skill
full mingling of fattery and rebuke. Be
ing vexed by cross eyed man with several
importunate questions concerning his own
lame leg he replied. at is quite crooked,
as you see"
At another time an English nobleman
who had addressed him frequent requests
for his autograph received it in the follow
ing manner: Dear Sir-Wtll you oblige
me with your company to dinner WedDes-
day at O'Clock l have invited a number
of exceedingly clever persons, and do not
like to be the Only fool among them"
Napoleon once said rather irrevcrently
of his father-in-law, the emperor Of Aus
tria, Francis Is an old granny" Marie
Louise turned to Talleyrand. monsieur
Talleyrand, what does that mean. an old
granny" The cunning diplomatist an
swered seriously, 1T means. madame, a
venerable sage"
II was about the time that the celebrity
of Chateau briand began to wanc that the
famous man grew deaf. This infirmity
being alluded to, Talleyrand said, Il un-
derstand; since they have ceased talking
about Chateaubriand he thinks himself
deaf"
81 have turned many woman's head.
boosted a conceited young French noble
man.
YES" replied Talleyrand. away from
you."
To bald and antiquated French bean
who wished 70 purchase some rare gifts for
a lady, he said, Give her one Of the hair.
OF your head. F."
When Madame de Stael published heI
celebrated novel. ''Deiphine, she is sup
sosed 20 have paint herself in the person
Of the heroine and TalIeyrand in that oi
q elderly lady, one Of the principal char
a tiers. They tell me-" said he TO her
81 hat we are The only two persons in your
&c nance who are disguised a. fensles."
GEO. s. Mcdowell