Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1891-11-10
NUMBER 45.

Il ~
Gus person. whose name WAS Caleb Jopes.
squire WOOD. the Washington q the
ccc.sion. hal with many unerI~ci~i
difficulties In preparing his forces. and
In his Terpleriiy be hal einptied not only
his own cantccn but tho~e ~ most ~ his
aids. The Consequence wss-mortifytng.
a. IL must b. to all true Amsrioans-
blushing q. do % tell II. Washington
At the commencement ~ the mimic
struggle wss most unqualihe'ily drunk.
The sham fight commenced. Bang
bang bang from IN. Americans -bangi
ngltangi from the British. The lang,
were kept hotly up until the powder gave
out. and then came the orier to charge.
Hundreds u wooden bsyonets hsshed
feru.ly In the sunlight. each soldier tax.
ing very gooi care not % hit anybody.
Thar (hic) night" shouted Washing.
ton. who during the shooting hal been
rscing his hor-s wildly up and down the
line. thar night On u to 'eml Cut
their tarnal heals or
"Ou. R0mans.T shriekri CORVALLIS.
who hal once ~rcn . theatrical perform.
anc. AMI remernb-rcd the heroic APPEAL.
u III. Ths-pisn bcllig 'rents, ION % the
fnyi No sl~p till m0rnin,"
IL, cout all their bowels. yellri
Washington. "ani down with TAXATION
on tea
The hghting now cea-ei. ths opposing
turcs- were properly Arranged. and Corn
wallis. di.mounting. pr'p,rci to pr,--nt
his sword b. Washington according to
prugamme. "a h. walkei slowly TO-
wari- the Father ~ IN. Country b. ~
hcarS.sl the little spccch b. hal commit
I'll for the occasion. while the illnstriou.
b-ing who was O. hear u w.. making
DESPERATE efforts to krep In his slsiile
Now be- would wildly brAniish his sword
and narrowly sap, cutting 20 his
h1r-e,s ears. ani then he would fall sud.
denly forward on to the sts--is neck.
grasping the mans a. drowning men
s.iKs bold - straw. Tie "a. giving an
inimitable representation - Tooiles on
horseback. All idea - the magnitude
20 the orrN~ion hal left him. AMI when
hs saw Coruwallis approaching. With
slow and stately step, AMI .word.hilt Ell.
tendei toward him. hs inquir~i'
"What-'n devil yoa want. any (hicl
how!
General Washington aid Cornwall.
H. IN dignihsi AL impressive tones, II
tender yuu my sworl I nc-d not In.
form you. Sir. how decply---
The speech was here sud<enly cut
short by Washington. who. driving the
.pur. into his horSe. playfully attempted
to run over the commander - the British
furc,-. H. VA. not Permitted to do this,
Coz his aids. -.'ing his unfortunate con.
liti0n. -siI,~l the hor-s by the bridls.
.,rAightrn~i wash.lgtIn up In his sai.
lie. anil requested Corn wallis to prucs.-i.
General Washington. aid COnvA-
IL. 9TH. British Lion pru-trst.- him-.lf
at the fcst ~ ths American Eagls3'
"Eig'sf EAGiEF' yelle,l the iniuriatnd
Washington. rolling % IN. horss and
hitting Cornwalh- fnghtful blow IN
the head with the fat ~ his .wOri, do
you call me Eigie. yOu mean. sneakin'
cus.y'
CUmwalli. rrmain~i upon the ground
only moment smarting from thu
blows b. hal r-ceiyci hs aro~s with an
entirely unlookri for rccuI.ration on
the part u the fallen, and in direct deh.
ance ~ historical example. Ia sTht- q
the men q both nations. he whipped the
immortal Washington until be rosr-i
fOr mercy.
The Americans. at hrst mOrtiff~i ani
indignant at the conduct % tbsir ch'sf.
now t--gan to sympsihire with him, and
r,-olv.i 81 whip their mock fo.- In c~rn-
e-i. They rush~i ferr.ly upDu th-m.
bat the British we're rally the .truoc~
party AMI drove the Americans hsck.
Not content with this. they charged
ua.ily uIon them anil drove th.m frum
the held - from the village IN TACT
There wcre many hcAis damaged. .yu
draT-si In mourning. no.-s frsrtar>i snd
leg. lamci-it i . wonder that no oos
Wa kllel outright.
Washington wa conhncl to his hoa-s
for several works. but b. rcoyersi At
lat For time thcrs Wa oo.iinsss
b.tw.n him-rf and COrnwlhs, bat
they finally cUnclndci b. joan the whole
county In laughing about IA. surrvntirr.
They live now. Time, III. "artss,
has thoroughly whit.wash-i thsir bsssis,
but they ar- very Jolly still On tO~u
mssting days the old squire always
ridos down % tb. yillAsr. In III. hind
part of hi. venerable yellow wagon Ia
Away, q bunch u hay. ostsnsibiy fOr
the old white horse, but rally IA hide
glass bottle from the vulgar gag. Ths
boltl. hAs on one side likeness u Ia
fayctts. ani upon the other may h. s.n
the Goodies u I.ib.rty. What tss bpt-
ii. contains inside cannot positively
say. but 10 l. true thai Squire WoDd
and Lawyer JOne- visit that bottle vrry
frequently On town meeting days and
come back looking quite ri In ts fsos.
when this r,inoss In IN. fso. t.sonss
of the blazing kind. as IL generally dos
by the time the polls clos. . sh0rs iis-
logue hLe this may b. heard!
I'VE silall never play Surrrndas AGAIN.
Lawyer Jon-r
Them days n over, Squire Wooir'