The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-18
BRIGHT BITS.

RIDING MASTER OF CAvG1RY-Yon will not &C.
cept me- Well. cannot make myself other
than l am 10 please you. But | beg of you, do
me at least o e favor, and do not marry-one of
the infantry = 1tegende Batter.
WAS your elopement a successY
Hardy" e'e >
''What went wrong?'
Her father telegraphed us not to return, and
all would be torglven.-HdrDeT's BazGr.
In search of ducks he trod the marsh
And faced the chilling breeze,
And only bagged 20, fate is harshD
His trousers at the kness.
Cape Cod Item.
ARE those natural or artificial flowers that
you have in your halr?'
Artificial"
What perfect deception-aud how excel
lently they suit your hair Fliegende hotter.
WHATS this report about Smithers sending
an Internal machine to you, Bronson?''
Its perfectly true. He didn't send it to me-
though He sent it to my boy. It's music
box that plays White Wings. '"-Nelo York
Herald.
VENUs-Why, Cupid, you missed your aim
that time.
Cupid-Yes, 1 always get mixed up when a
girl has both a dude and poodle with her. My
arrow struck the poodle, but it doesn't matter
NeD York sun.
CAPTAN-The sound of those rifles from the
skirmish line reminds me Of the day made my
Sergeant-How is that?
Captai9-WhY, it has an engagement ring
Boston Courier.
''YoU will let me go to your wedding, will you
not?' said one girl to her companion.
Upon my word can't promise My folks
are In such rage about my wedding that am
not sure they will let me go to it myself :"
brooklyn Eagle.
II HAVE always taken pleasure in your pres
once" she said, as they were parting as friends
and nothing more.
Il beg your pardon" he said reiectiyely
but would YOU mind spelling that last word 7"
Washington Post.
TEAcHER-Johnny, why is George Brown alb
Johnny-Why, George Brown says his sisters
got colei bur dat amt nothin': one O. my sis
tiers is got De Smallpox and t'other one de
measles, but come all the same.-LJe.
7 BUTcHER-You've got six or eight new board
ers amt you, mumf
Mrs; slimdict-Yes. They came yesterday.
How did you know? sassfS,.gf
Butcher-I noticed you was buying half a
pound more of everything Ne,p York Weekly.
WAITER docking in on noisy card party in
hotel bedroom)-I've been sent to ask you to
make less noise, gentlemen. The gentleman in
the next room says ecan't read.
Host of the Party-Tell him he ought to be
ashamed of himself Why, could read when
was years old.-Chicdgo NclcS.
CHARLEY" said young Mrs. locker az had
no idea they played base ball this time Of year"
rs that sou said Charley, cautiously. what
reminded you!'
Il heard my brother tell Dick Traverse that
you went out on bat. Is that the same as
three strikes, Charley? Washington Post.
GREAT MERcRANT-The business has increased
so in the last year, Mr.. Penwiper, that when
you order the new account books you had better
get them twice the size oil the old ones.
MIR. Penwiper-Yes, sir. Don't you think, sir,
In view of this fact, that might have an in
crease in my salary?
What! After such an expensive set of
books? couldn't think of it. "-Brook lyn Life
IT WOULD SEEM as though the stupid and
pointless joke about the large feet of Chicago
women will never lose its piquancy with certain
people. For months it has lain quiescent; but
now comes eircumstantial story about a
Nevada girl with phenomenally large feet ex-
hlblting herself in a museum as a Chicago girl
This coming to the notice of several Chicago
helresses, they paid the girl $1,000 to say she
was from St. Louis, and the end is not yet.
Washington Critic.