The Colfax chronicle., 1891-10-24

PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.
s<She-"I don't believe in long en-
gagements, do your He-''No; people
are apt TO find out too many things
shout each other. Boston News
Heard at Brighton Beach. .-Euthu-
siast-..D Don't you think Wagner is an
gelic?- Materialist- Wefl, that's hard
to tell; he's dead. you know. Brook
lyn Eagle. 4fs
did you take much exercise during
the winter?" mo" II thought you
were such q firm believer In physical
culture" $50 am; attended every
lecture delivered upon the subject" -
Light.
An Ideal Wife. = Husband mo
blue stocking for me. Anignorant wo-
man makes far better wife" Wife
''Am good wife, John?" Husband
'sYes, you arc an ideal one."- Yankee
Blade.
-One Less. Anyway.-'sHenry," she
whispered. ''why don't you say some
thing?" ''Because." he answered, be-
tween his teeth, Il have just swallowed
a mosquito, and don't want him TO es-
cape. columbus Press.
-Citizen-s'I hear you are running
for Officer" Candidate-''Yes, . month
ago placed myself in the hands of my
friends" "How are you now?" II would
like to borrow fifteen cents to get a dairy
lunch. " Baltimore American.
lin the Chicago Swim--First brother
lin Chicago Are you going to that
five o'clock tea?" Second brother
NO" First brother-"Th let me
wear your Prince Albert. I've got fam
mel shirt"-St Louis Amenities
-"Well." said father-in-law, after
mother-in-law had returned from visit
to the young couple, 'swhat sort of q
fellow is John?" s'I'm afraid he's not
good for much" said mother-in-law.
'He reminds me very much of you -
Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Townly-'T got letter from
your cousins to-day" Mrs Townly-
Inviting us to spend the summer, of
course" Mr.. Townly-s'No; stating
that they do not intend to run charity
hospital this season. Y. Herald.
1T Meant About the Same. Jack
'sWhat discount will you allow me on
engagement rings?" Maiden Lame jew
eler-"Are you in the trade?" Jack
mo; but I'm going to summer at New
port Jewellers Weekly.
Doubtful -Ethel-"I don't see why
you call Miss White homely. I'm sure,
wish were half as good looking as
she is" Fred-''You are. Ethel, you
know you are" And Ethel is wonder
ing whether he meant to compliment
her.-N. E. Magazine.
Pretty Girl ito salesman)-'I want
to buy hammock strong enough to
hold up three" Salesman Sorry.
miss, but our hammocks will only hold
up two" Pretty Girl (unhesitatiugly)
-"Well, no matter, I'll take one.-Bos-
ton Herald.
"A flying frog was recently caught
in Pennsylvania and now flying rabbit
has been captured in Missouri II it
were not for the fact that once in awhile
q flying banker is caught, there would
be reason to fear that man had fallen
behind the rest of the animals in the
important particular of inventiug ny
ing machine. Detroit Free Press.
Two Pictures = Observant Son =
Papa, what q splendid car! Look at
the silver service and the plush and vel
vet and curtains Who are the men in
it?" Papa-"That's the directors car,
and the occupants are having . regular
jamboree. o. S.--.sAnd who's that
seedy old fellow eating hard boiled eggs
and crackers in that emigrsnt car?'
Papa-''Oh! that's only one of the heavy
stockholders ON his way to see why he
doesn't get any dividends "--P Pittsburgh
Bulletin.