Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-05-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A closing remark-"You shut up"
When doctors disagree the coroner
takes the matter up.-Epoch.
The pot must have been boiling when
it called the kettle black.-Puck.
It is strange, but the dregs of pot of
"red paint" are always blue.-New YorL
Herald.
It's not always the little things that
tell. Sometimes it's her big brother
st. Joseph NeOs.
Painters are not of military turn
generally, yet they stand by their colors.
--Ieras Sytings.
The way station master always has an
unfagging interest in through trains
Washington Star.
Hotel Porter-''Art you guest of the
housea" Mr.. Grutf-''No; I'm paying
for what I get!"-Puck.
"Your wife seems vexed." "Yes.
She went out to match some ribbon aud
found it at the first store. life.
When dressmaker doesn't give her
customers fits, the customers give the
dressmaker fits.--Louisoille journal.
The difficulty in this cold world is
that too many fellows want to stand with
their backs to the fire. Bradford Record.
"Men need moral courage more than
they do higher foreheads. This is true.
Cows have high foreheads. - Chicago
Nens.
Johnny is smart boy. When he was
asked to define moustache he instantly
replied, "It's bang on the mouth. -
Epoch.
The faults of our neighbors would be
less conspicuous if our own virtues
were not quite so glaring. .-Mils0aukee
Sentinel
Don't laugh at your wife when she
tries to stone the hens. She may ask
you to help her stone the raisins.
mira Gazette.
There is good deal of speculation
about astronomical studies, but the
astronomer seldom gets rich out of it.
Binghamton Republican.
Auntie-" Johnny, you never hear
your papa use such language" "No;
and 1 take mighty good care that he
doesn't hear me. ."--Harper's Basar.
His name we never see although
In print he has a mighty mission;
For he's the dark, mysterious,
''Well-informed politician"
Judge.
Feeblewitte deems it an exemplifica-
ton OF the fitness of things that love
which is without bounds should make of
life never-ending spring. Detroit Free
Press.
''I see that quite number of our
younger verse writer's have taken to
writing their songs in antique English"
"That is quite an appropriate setting to
their ideas"
Caller-"And this is the new babya"
Fond Mother-"Isn't he splendidw
Caller-''Yes, indeed" Fond Mother
Sand so bright. See how intelligently
he Ereathes. y Chicago NeUs.
How hard it is in these unhappy days
To keep beyond the line of Falsehood's
spell,
Since cen proverb. old and hallowed says
That Truth ies-at the bottom Of WELL
Life.
Editors -HSanctorum, you look
disguised; anything gone wronga" Edi-
tor-"Yes; missed the mail, and my
typewriter is sick!" Editors Wife
"Too bad to miss male and female the
same dayi"-Aryosy.
Priest-"Well, Dennis, you're mar
ried, hear. I'm very glad of it. How
do you and your wife get along to-
gether9" Dennis-s'Well, yer riverence,
Oi tink we get along besht togither
whin we're apart. boston Courier.
'Tis folly to spend life boarding up gold
With intention from commerce to lock It;
For, as wise men remarked in the past, we
are told,
No shroud was e'er made with q pocket.
-Mit,cduhee Sentinel.
"Look, Adolph. Your tailor's sitting
over there" "Don't attract his atten-
tion." ''Ain't you getting on we'll to-
getherq" eyes, but don't want to en-
bSrrass him. He owes me receipted bills
for two suits of clothes. Fliegende
Bldettr.