The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-11-06

49, - -
with no valid excuse, they will break out
I'D the most surprising manner. When
Mr.. Bowser left the house after lunch the
other day he was In great good humor and
stopped 70 say:
II think I'll stop and get tickets for the
theater tonight. and wen put in an enjoy
able evening"
When he returned at 6 be ascended the
steps with scuffl scuffi scuffi unlocked
the front door, gave il a kick and made his
way into the back parlor to growi.
Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to run
this house on a systemf'
why, what Is wrong. deariv she queried
In reply.
There's lots Of things wrongl / had
scarcely left the Office when this oyercoat
button came of. laid this coat of the 5th
q last May, and you've had five months 70
secure that BUTTON,
But didn't know ii was loose. why
didn't yon tell mefn
Why haven,t told you 10000 other
things that ought TO be donei There are
wives who glance 1t their husbands cloth.
Ing once or twice year and discover what
repairs are needed. WANT darning needle
and i piece Of string"
But I'll sew the button on
No; Ill do It myself. l don't want to
take up your valuable time"
And despite Mrs. Bowers entreaties and
protestations he threaded the needle with
piece Of string and sat down and sewed
on the button. He got It an inch out Of
line with the buttonhole. OF course, and Of
course 1t wouldn't have stayed FIVE min
utes In any event, but he had carried
his point. When he had laid the coat
aside he asked:
Have we got brad awl and piece Of
waxed end in the house2"
II don't think so. What do you want OF
them?"
ITO mend my suspenders, OF course
hadn't got 100 feet from the house this
noon when 1t busted on me, As usual If
there's another house in the United States
run like this one I'd like to hear Of it and
60 and sit down on the doorstep for half
an hour. Perhaps can repair it with
piece Of clothesline until can get down
town again
But you can't blame me. Mr.. Bowsef,
she said.
"Oh, OF course not; you are not to blame
for anythingl''
but how did ] know your suspender
was ready to breakSn
That's all right, Mrs. Bowserl I'll get
piece Of clothesline or barbed wire and
make repairs, and you needn't worry at
ALL There are wives and wives"
Are we going to the theaterf" she
asked, as he began pacing up and down the
room with his hands under his coat tails.
"Whatp he shouted in a voice which
jumped the cat out of the room.
Are we going to the theateri"
"Theaterl Theaterl Have you gone
crazyS Mrs. Bowser, look-a-there, and
then talk theater to mel"
He unlaced one of his shoes and kicked
it off, and there at the end Of his big toe
was hole about as big as nickel
Il was intending to go to the theater,"
he said as he stood and pointed at the hole,
"but can't get away this evening. have
got to stay home and darn my socks. That
hole there has started corn on my toe this
very day"
Mr.. Bowser, those socks were brand new
yesterday morning when you put them onr'
exclaimed Mrs. Bowser with good deal of
energy.
"Oh, of counsel probably cut that hole
with the shearsl want.a darning needle
and some string or something As long as
I've got to take care of my clothes through
the rest of my life | might as well begin
tonight"
Mrs. Bowser protested, but he threaded
a darning needle with piece of red string
and used up about eight feet OF it in darn
ing the hole. He appeared to be growing
good natured, and she yentured to ask:
"Aren'tw we to go to the theater tonightf"
IF we get through in time we may"
get through with whatf"
Mrs. Bowser," he said, as he removed
mis- coat and turned his back, "look at the
back of my vestp'
II see it, but what's wrong?"
"Wrongl wrongE Is there a buckle
there? Put on your glasses and tell me IL 4
you can find buckle anywhere ON the
back Of my vest" ,s.ss
No, Idon't see one, but this is the first
time you have called my attention to it."
Exactly. What was the user That
buckle busted off three years ago last
Thanksgiving day, and yet you haven't
noticed It'll Is there a spare buckle kicking
around the cellar or hanging up in the
garrett II not, suppose can heat the
stove poker and bend 1t up to answer"
You only got that vest three months
ago, Mr.. Bowser, and the tailor never put
a buckle bnv she exclaimed, as she pulled
at the strap.
And this coat, Mrs. Bowser," he went
on, regardless Of her protests, feel in this
pocket There's a hole there large enough
to let cocoanut ,throughl I've known it
for years and years, and I've been waiting
to see if you would fix it. Have we got
piece of BEDFORD and about half yard of
old Brussels carpet lying aroundf'
why didn't you tell me about it,"
4 Tell you'll Must husband be eternally
telling his wife about these thingsf What's
a wife fori What are her dutiesi What
should fond, true wife delight ini But
ton of-hole in my sock--no buckle on my
vest-hole in my pocket-two buttons
loose on my vest-buttonholes all torn
put in my Shirt Theaterl Not this even
Ing, Mrs. Bowserl You can go, bat l
haven't time. After dinner I've got to get
the hammer. gas pincers, saw, file, brace
and drill, package of riyets, screwdriver,
gimlet and a lot of glue and see if l can't
repair some of the damages and get my
self in shape to 20 to the office tomorrow.
You can go and you'll probably enjoy the
play and have good time, but / shall be
unayoidably detained at home-iunavoida-