The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1891-02-26
ESTABLISHED 1865.

clans. The candidate can lOW Oe le-
leased and carried before the Supreme
Spanker for further enlightenment; and
while be is making the circuit of the
room the brothers will sing, On Green
lands Icy Mountains as I notice that
the candidate is beginning to shivir IN
the cold air of the ROOM"
The Supreme Spanker sat upon bale
of hay. He ordered the bandage re-
moved from the candidates eyes, re-
marking that he had perhaps pro-
gressed far enough to stand the light OF
the Alliance; and, besides, be was to
go through another ordeal that required
all of mans faculties to endure.
The seeker of light was then led up
to barrel, and in a twinkling stretched
over it.
Bring forth the sub-treasury plank, "
commanded the Supreme Spanker,
''and convince the new brother that 1t
is not a rotten one, but made Of good,
sound timber. Let the high Examiner
do his duty like good and true Alli-
ance man, while we will all sing:
"Once was blind, but now see."
Forty times that plank rose in the
air aud came down with a mighty
thump, before the writhing victim was
released and carried before the Supreme
Spanker again, to have the lesson he
had just received explained.
"Iou have passed through one, Of
the most beautiful and edifying chap
ters in the Alliance mode of initiation.
You have publicly asserted that we
had only one plank in our platform,
and that a rotten one. I feel assured
that you are now prepared to correct
this statement, and ascert that our sub
treasury plank is one Of the soundest
that you have ever felt. We have sew
eral other planks, as we can prove to
your entire satisfaction, if SO desired.
Oh! you say you are satisfied! Well,
be careful in the future how you speak
slurringly of something you know
nothing about. Now carry the candi-
date, brother conductor, for other use
full lessons, and while he is on the move
let the members sing":
This is the way I long have sought" !"
The Great Drencher had on table
before him three black feathers and a
goblet half filled with what appeared
to be old Bourbon.
"After his long fatiguing pilgrimage
our brother is doubtless in need of rest
and refreshments. Place chair that
he may be seated:
This was done, but by some sleight-of-
hand the candidate made a miss, and
landed on the floor.
my unfortunate brother, you have
now learned the uncertainty of political
campaigns. Just as a man thinks be
has found q nice, comfortable seat, the
Alliance lips it from beneath him, and
painfully indeed is his disappointment.
l spoke just now of refreshments, and
had prepared a nice mess of corn for
you; but l now discover in your recent
anxiety to explain that famous speech
you made before the Alliance conven-
ton, that you have already eaten all Of
the sub-treasury crow except few tail
feathers. But here is glass Of Jeffcr-
sonian Democracy, according to the
Epistle Of the Romans, that you were
SO partial to a short time since. This is
the last of the cask and please swallow
the same. Well, if you hesitate, have
to order the grand executioner to show
you another one of the planks in our
platform. All, you find the liquid is
encased in glass, so that it will not wet
your parched lips. That, my brother,
is modern Jeffersonian Democracy. 1t
is very nice to look upon, but like Dead
Sea fruit, is tasteless. This shows you
that to depend on other classes than
the Alliance and the organized Demo-
cracy for office and honor is to partake
of phantom political lunch.
"This, my newly-made brother ends
the first degree in the Farmers ALI
ance. I trust the great and beautiful
truths you have seen illustrated to-day
will make lasting impression Oh your
mind. The brethren will now join
hands, and while they marched around
the new member sing:
Once I was lost, but now am found. I"
Thus ended one of the most enter
tanning ceremonies ever performed in
our State.
1t is to be regretted that every Alli-
anceman in Georgia could not have
witnessed the snatching of this distin-
guished brand from the fire built around
it by the politicians.
Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly for March,
1891.
Richard B. Kimballs interesting
historical paper on "The Early Days Of
the Republic" which leads the March
number of Frank Leslie's Popular
Monthly, is illustrated with series Of
beautiful engraved portraits, including
the new head of Washington, from
Henri Lefort's celebrated etching.
Coyne Fletcher, author Of that success
full New South story, Me and Chuu-
N.Y." contributes Il descriptive article
Oh THE Lowlands of South Carolina" !"
with sketches of many historic p!anta-
tions of the Palmetto State. ''Ameri-
can Ivory-carving," by Wifi. ?. Pond,
gives an elaborate illustrated account
y - - ii,