Nevada County picayune., 1891-11-26
MR. AND MRS. BoW SER.

bit particular aDpnt hlS Stilrt ana COL lar and such things no husband never i is. Every morning as regularly as clock work when half past seven 1 Io'clock comes Mrs. Bowser, who has l been up for half an hour, looks in to i find him on the broad of his back with his hands locked under his neck and the bedclothes wrapped around him like some giant mummy.
 MT. BOwser,"
 No answer.
 MT. Bowser,,"
 "Um."
 "Mr. Bowser, do you know what time it is :"
 "U-m-m-m!" ,"
 "Come, breakfast will be ready before you are. You wanted to get away little earlier this morning."
 "Whaz mazher!"
 'COme-wake right up!
 "Lemme' lone.'
 "Mr. Bowser!"
 He opens his eyes, turns over with grunt and growl, and ten minutes after she has gone down. stairs he carefully sits up in bed. He is all there. Then he kicks the clothes down with his right leg then with his lsft-knocks his pillow off on the floor, and "sorter" falls out after it with a growl like some old backed bear trying to crawl through a rail fence. Ten minutes later Mrs. Bowser feels the house shake and hears a voice calling:
 Mrs. Bowser, are you alive or dead :"
 What is it, dear!''
 Don't 'what-is-it-dear' me!
 ''Is this dime museum, cider mill, or the home of hard-working, respectable man."
 s'What is it?" she asks as she arrives on the scene of the fatal disaster.
 "Look-a-there, Mrs. Bowser- look-a-there! he hoarsely whis- pers as he holds out pair of suspen- ders in his hand.
 "Yes-I see. You broke 'em about a month ago and mended 'em with piece of string. They ve busted again. Go ahead and get on your collar and I'll fix 'em. There they are, and you'd better buy new pair to day
 Some mighty queer things around this house." he mutters, as he but tons them on. "Them suspenders was all right when l went to bed last night.
 Next time you want to play circus take a piece of clothes line. Where's s my front collar button?'
 You must have firted it out when you drew on your shirt. Here it is. v
 After this when you go prowling around at night wish you'd leave my things alone. If you want col lar buttons just say so and I'll try to buy vou a cartload :"
 "Uerc's your collar, dear"
 It iS beautifully clean and white, bat he looks at it and grows. It is one of dozen he had made to order and fits him to perfection, but it is no sooner buttoned than he gives it a hitch. and a hunch, and yank, and roars out:
 By the great horn spoon! bu can never get a collar to fit me!I It's bad enough to have 10 wear a old bag of a shirt, let alone having my throat cut with such collar s :"
 But they were made to measure, you know
 Measure. measure, Do you suppose there's shirt-m aker on earth who knows enough to measure mans neck, The confounded cross-eyed idiot probably thought l wanted to button 'em on to my ears !"
 Mrs. Bowscr applied the soothing sirup and the third collar is allowed to remain. He growls over his neck tie, but gets it on after awhile, and is then ready 10 inquire;
 II suppose the girl in the kitchen is using my toothbrush for 4 poker, isn't she! I'd just like the public to know how thls house is run, It's no wonder that so many husbands walk off and are never heard of again. "
 "There's your toothbrush right