The Colfax chronicle., 1891-12-05

Subscriber is my paper 20
damp every issue?" Editor--"Becauss
there Is g much due o1 lE-ry---------ss--,
Young Bride-sswhat shall cook
to-day, Gcorge?" Young Tlusband-'O,
don't care what but I'd like to know
what we're going to have to cat"
-"IIow many seconds are in a min
ute?" s.Do you mean real minute,
mamma, or one Of your great big wait
a-minutee?"- ?"-Indianapolis Journal
Did He Pop?-He-"Talking about
names, / wish could get mine changed
think it is too ugly for anything" She
(enthusiasticslly)-O don't ! think
it is Just lovely. ."-Demorest' Magazine.
"A petrified hog has been found near
Clarksville, Tenn. 1t is supposed he was
pctrified by seeing another hog uncross
his legs in a street car when we'll
dressed woman wanted to pass -Buf-
falo Express.
Same Old Story.-CDsar the Great
| (crossing the Rubicon) )-"Have you got
any ferry tickets with you?" John
Smith-''No, haven't Knowing that
was going to cross the ferry, left them
all at home"
| "A lf-Protec ted Fe male. = She
30, sir; am SO terrified Do you think
there is any danger of my meeting any
thieves on this lonely road?" He-"No
madam; not if they sse you first
Worcester Record.
Mr.. Dolley (tenderly) = miss
Scadds, l indulge the hopesof some day
winning your love-" Mss Scadd'
Shaking her head)-"My friends tel
| me that you ipdulge too much, Mr.
Dolley. Epoch
He Had Been Therc.-Mr. Money
wed-''O. dear! It seems to me that yo'
never can find the way to your pocket.
Mrs. Moneywed--"You found you
way to it without much difficulty whcI
we were first married" = Brooklyn
Eagle.
| -Critic-'sSay. what's the matte
with that love scene in the second act
Same people you had last year, ain
they?" Manager-"Yes, but. hang 1t
they went and got married soon ate
wc played here last season. "-Bostol
News
-ssCan I read your psper?" asked tn
man in the rear seat II don't know
whether you can or not" replied tn
Boston man ahead of him. "but yo
may try if you choose" and it took tn
brakeman, the news agent and the con
ductor to separate them. Toledo Blade
-ssYes" remarked the young man
"Miss Caster is truly a fortunate youn
woman. She was born with q silve
spoon in her mouth" "And don't 20
think" rejoined his companion, VIII
had been attentive to the lady, that
must have been an ice cream spoon?'-
Washington Star.
II "A Cautious Employer. Employs
-s'Can you write good hand?" Al
plicant-'sYeA SIR" Employer-'Ca
you initiate handwriting?" Applicar
--"Yes, sir, perfectly" Employer
J '.You can. eh? Then don't want yo'
You might initiate mine. Good-da.
. sir."-Yankee Blade,
"A Fool in Two Ways - Jinks :
: "Well. If ever there was fool ths
, man is one. He's worth a cool million
yet he stands waiting for q newsboy
bring him two cents change out of
: nickel he gave the boy for three cer
/ paper" Blinks-"Well. he is q foo
, OF course he'll never see that be
e again. - -Demorest's Magazine.
-s'Why will you associate with sue
men as Flimsey?' asked Brown. "Fs
D my part, always endeavor to associa'
; with men who are my superiors." .
can't be hard work for you to Ar
G them," replied Fogg, ''but am diffe
E ent from you. am always willing th'
|. my friends should associate with the
4 superiors."