Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-12-19
PONsONBY was A DEAD BEAr.
Ono Experience With Him That Afforded 9
Lesson to Noodles.


Lesson to Noodles.
6sTNHE DEAD BEAT rs CURIOUS DE-
Il velopment Of civilization" said Noodles
the other night at the Plasypus club. 81 believe
that have had experience with u remarkable
variety of the type. Perhaps the most interesting
was person named Ponsonby-an Englishman
of good address and excellent manners Doubt
less his own claim to be well born was true.
So far as could ascertain he had no vices and
it was always a mystery to me why he was SO
poor. My notion is, however, that he was too
incurably lazy ever to do any serious work.
Apparently his belief was that the world had
done him injustice, and for the wrong it had
committed in his regard he felt that every one
he met should contribute in one way or an
other to his support.
EXCITING SYMPATHY.
"No one could very well help sympathizing
with SO agreeable and well-bred an unfortunate
as Ponsonby He struck me three or four
times for small loans, just as he did everybody
else. Finally he announced to me one day
that he had been eyicted from his lodging
house by a landlady whose patience had given
out at the same time with his credit. Inspired
by the glow Of benevolent impulse l took
him to my boarding place and secured a hall
bed room for him there, making myself re-
stalled than began to feel sorry, He started
in by borrowing from me a pair of cuffs and a
collar. That was bad sign. The most adj
vaEced ana hopeless species OF dead beat is the
one that depends for changes of linen upon
his acquain tances. Such evidently his
method Within the next forty-elght hours he
had procured from me another collar, two
more pairs of cuffs. shirt, white waistcoat
and pair Of white CATERS, l foresaw that my
wardrobe at that rate would very soon be alto
gel ber 10
ance was improved.
THE SCHEME DIDN T WORK.
However. on the third morning something
happened l knew nothing of it at the time,
but when came home that afternoon found
my landlady in a very agitated frame Of mind.
She said that my friend, Mr. Ponsonby, CLAIMED
to have been robbed His room had beensbIr-
glarized, according to his account, and, She
most extraordinary variety OF articles had been
stolen from him. All sorts of valuable prop
erty. from jewelry to expensive articles OF
clothing: were included in the list he gave.
Now, to my certain knowledge, he had brought
nothing with him save IA small ant battered
yalse, which could not possibly have contained
anything OF mcIe impor lance than a soiled
collar and q sock or two Therefore fastened
to reassure my good hostess and requested
her ut the same time to ask my protege
to leave Having made up my mind that
his story was invented for the purpose OF
beating the landlady i'll some fashion, by
holding her responsible for the alleged loss,
felt extremely angry. An hour later he came
in and. knowing that it was my salary day, tried
to borrow St from me wherewith to buy him.
self pair of shoes. I bethouyht myself a.
once of capital plan, Telling him that could
not very well spare the cash. offered to give
him card introducing him to my bootnaker.
1t happened that l myself had an account OF
very long standing with that bootmaker, who
was extremely enraged on the subject Ac-
cordingly, when Ponsonby presented the card,
as had anticipated, the bootmaker was SO
angry as to kick him out of the shop. lie re-
turned much crestfallen, got his hand bag and
l never saw him afterwards.