The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-03-20

their cows and Our'n
squencht their thurst at
the same spring; our old mares both had
stars in their forreds; the measles broke
out in both famerlies at nearly the same
PERIOD our parents Betsy's and mine)
slept reglarly every Sunday in the same
meetin house, and the nabers used to OBJ
sarve, "How thick the Wards and Peas
leys air" 1t was a surblime site, in the
spring of the year, to see our sevral
mothers Betsy's and mine) with their
gowns pin'd up so thay couldn't sile EN-,
affecshunitly Bilin sope together g. abooz-
in the nabers.
Altho l hankered intensly arter the
object of my affecshuns l darsunt tell
her of the fires which was rain in my
manly Buzzum. I'd try to do it, but
my tung would kerwollop up agin the
roof of my mowth e. stick thar, like
deth to deseast Afrikan or country
postmaster to his offiss.
Twas earn still mite in Joon. All
mater was husht and nary a zeffer dis
turbed the screen silens. I sot with
Betsy Jane on the fense of her farther's
pastur We'd bin rompin threw the
woods, kullin flours g. driving the wood
churck from his Nativ Lair $50 to speak)
with long sticks. Wall, we sot thar on
the fense, swingin our feet two and
fro, blushin as red as the Bsldinsville
skool house when it was fust painted,
and lookin very simple. make no doubt.
Ny rite arm was ockepied in ballunsing
myself on the fense, while my left was
woundid luvinly round her waste.
cleared my throat and tremblinly
sed, Betsy, you're Gazelle."
you're a sheepw
Sez I, BETSY, think very muchly of
you."
II don't b1eeve word you say-so
there now cumt'
~ wish thar was winders in my Sole,"
sed I, $50 that you could see some of
my feelins. There's fire enuff in here"
sed l, strikin my buzzum with my fist,
"to bile all the corn beef and turnips in
the naberhood. Versoovius and the Crit
ter amt circumstance
She how'd her he'd down and com.
menst chawin the strings Of her sun
bonnet.
"Ar could you know the sleeplis mites
I worry threw with on your account,
how vittles has seized to be attractiv to
me d how my Inns has shrunk up, you
wouldn't dowt me. Case on this wastin
form and these ere sunken cheeks"--
should have contnnered on in this
strane probly for sum time, but unfort.
nifty l lost my ballunse and fell over
into the pastur kersmash, tearin my
close and seveerly damagin myself CINE
rally.
Betsy Jane sprung to my assistance in
bubble quick time and dragged me 4th.
Then DRAWN herself up to her full hite
abe said:
II won't listen to your noncents no
longer. Jes say rite strate out what
you're drivin at. If you mean gettin
hitched, I'm Nr
l considered that air enuff for all prac-
dcal purpusses, and we proceeded imme-
Jitely to the parsons, g. was made that
very mite.
(Notiss to the Printer: Put some stars
here)
I've parst threw many tryin ordeels
sins then, but Betsy Jane has been troo
as steel. By attendin strickly to bizniss
I've amarsed q handsum Pittance. No
man on this footstool can rise g. and git
mp d say ever knowinly injered no man
OF wlmmin folks, while all agree that
my Show is exalted by few and exceld
Dy none, embracin as it does a wonder
ful colleckshun of ivin wild Beests of
Pray, snaix in CRATE profushun, a end.
less variety of life-size wax figgirs, g.
the only framed kangaroo in Ameriky-
the most amoozin little cuss ever intro
Juoed to discriminatin public.
WAX FIGURES VS.. SHAKESPEARE
~ 49, ONTO THE WING 1859
l take my Pen in hand to inform WI
tnat I'm in good helth and trust these
few lines will find yu injoyin the same
blesslns, wood also state that I'm now
on the summir kampane. AS the Poit
seq
ime erfiote, ime erhote
On the Swift rollin tied
An the Rovir is free.
blzniss Is scarcely middlin, but Sirs l
manige to pay for my foode and raj
ment puncktooally and without no
grumblin. I'm travelin with a tent.
which is better nor hirin hauls. Nv
how konsists of a serious of wax works,
makes, paneramy kalled Grand
hoyin Diarea of the War in the Cry
near, komic songs and the Cangeroo,
which larst little cuss continners to kon.
auct hisself in the most ou,rajus stile.