The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-10-14
PITH AND POINT.


will turn only one way.-Dallas Nsws. |,
It is the uninstructed delegate that is
ordinarily the most intelligent.-Bostos
Herald. /
The love of the man who marries for.
moneyis founded upon the rocks.-PittsI
burg Press. J
It's odd that by devoting all her time
to Browning a girl can get pale.-Chi-
eogo Times.
A great mauy men are like new ground
do better when they ars broken up.--
Columbus Post. 4
What is monopolya A corporation in
which other fellows hold all the Stock
Teas SJtings. !
A turtle is lazy fellow; but no other
fellow thinks he has soft snap.-Rnh1
naond Recorder.
Sailors are the only class of men known
who will voluntarily sit down on tsck.l
-PhizadelpAia Press.
The most difficult ups and downs Of
this life are keeping expenses down and
appearance up.-Atshison Globe. i
Female pages were employed by the
last Legislature in Oklahoma. This is.
turning over new leaf.-Rochestsr Post-
Ezpress. 4
The musical fad in London is playing
the harp. The lyre-no matter how you
spell it-cannot be kept down. -Phila-
delphia Ledger. /
Many BARRIERS refuse to shave a custo!
mer in thunder storm; they don't Like
to be disturbed in the middle of their
talk. Richmond Recorder. i
Warm was the look in her eyes of brown
When I met her down by the summer seaS
To-day when meet the maid in town,
Cold is the stare that she gives to me.
philadelphia Inquirer.
Figgs-"Closefst left his property SO,
that bis widow could not marry again"
Diggs-"How was that9" Figgs-"He
left it all to his son."-New York Her
aid.
Hell am resolved to live no longer.
if you reject me. You-you-are my
lite. Speak," she-"Well, / don't
care if you take your life, then."-Chi!
eago Neus.
Bloofer-"I suppose your wife has
vials of wrath in store for you now and
then9" Breyey-s'Vials7 No, sir; noth-1
ing short of shower-bath suffices for
her!"-Truth. . u
George Was Doing Quite Well: Ethel:
-"I have had more than fifty offers this
season." Maud-"For the lands sakei
Who from2" Ethel-''From George"
-Nev York Sun. Il
The Prodigal Son: sunday-school
Teacher-"Johnny, who was the prodigal
son9" Johnny-"Oh, that was the felI
low who went away dude and came
back tramp."-Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette. -.... /
The Oldest Inhabitant: Tourist
"How long have you been living here,
nv friend2" Native-''See that big hill
over thar2" Tourist-"Yes." Native.
"Wal, that was yere when I came yere:".
.--Jury. i
"Do you think you could support my
daughterl" inquired the cautious father. !.
"Why, sir" replied the suitor, 81
think so; I never heard it intimated
that she was insupportable. - Washing
ton Star.
"That was very reasonable request
the Rev. Mr.. Whitetie made last Sum
day." "What was it2" "He requested
that no buttons be contributed for the
heather without garments attached to
them."-Neu York Sun. ...-.-
Rich Uncle struggling in the water
and on the point of drowning)-"A
thousand dollars to the man who saves
me-" His Nephew (an expectant herr.
-"Ill give $4,000 to the man who
Doesn't ."-Brooklyn Life.
No Dry Goods Measure: Young House
wife-ssI think we'll have some eels
for the first course, cook" Cook
elbow much shall I get2" Young
Housewife-"Oh, about three yards will
do, should think. ."-Drahe's -Aa5aSsne.
Clerk-"A Montague street man COM
plains that there is lot of rubbish In
front of his house. What shall be done"
Street Commissioner-"That's an easy
one. Have it removed and placed In
front of the house next door. ."-Broos-
ly Life.
eI might not be able to cover as much
ground as you," said the came! to the
elephant. ..but if it came to race l
could hump myself" "Aud l." boast
fully chimed in the giraffe, ''could beat
both of you by a neck. ."-BatI1n'ore
American.
Above the Snow Line: Guest (at Chi
caco ho:eD-"I wish you would have
one of the boys take my oyercoat up to
nv room and show Inc the way" Clerk
81 would advise you to pat it on,sir,
if you are going to your room. It's on
the top floor, aud you'll need it before
you ret there" ~ Cl,thier and Fur
niSher.
Mrs. Bingc-"You know we ladies
nre anxious to do all we cau toward
building the new church, so each one of
us has agreed to deny ourselves the priv
ilege of new gown" Mrs. kinsley--
:How self-sacrifcing! Have you sub
scribeda" Mrs. Bingo-"Oh, yes, 1 got
the money from my husband the first
day."-C0aE Reoie~.
Architect-"Am modern seaside cottage
built on this plan would cost you $500
-" Millionaire (disgusted) )-"That