davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12


Life: Jones-We must make this banquet
q grand success. Have you got some good
cigars to give aWays
Brown-Oh, yes; they're excellent ones to
give away.
Munsey's Weekly: Kiugley Ito Bingo,
who has just moved) d)--This Is a pretty nice
house you've got, Bingo, but thought you
said you were going to buy 1t instead of pay
Blngo-so I was. But had to pay the
trucKman first.
New York Weekly: Foreign visitor-Does
it cost much to live in New York'
Host-NO, sir, it doesn't cost much to live
in this city, but it costs like Sam Hill to keep
up appearances
st. Joseph News: Woman's aim in life is
rarely reached. unless the aim is man and
the missile glance of the eye.
Drake's Magazine: Curbstone-The mud
seems to be very fond of you; sticks to you
through thick and thin.
Pavement-Yes; have noticed that it has
been very soft on me for some time past.
Texas Siftings; (At Pizen Creek Party
Mrs. de Grlssler-You seem rather fidgety
thus evening, Colonel w Whipsrw.
Colonel Whipsaw-Yes, just little.
Nope. You see I've given Bill Roper,
over there, all the chance and inducement to
elope with my gal Cycloney that feler
could want, and now if he don't improve this
occasion to skip with her he'll be sorry"
Washington Post: II assure you," said
the clerk in the gas office, ''that your bills
are accurate Our work is done with micr;
scopic care"
(Which, suppose" said the chronicaly
displeased citizen, lis how you manage to
make things seem so much larger than they
really are"
New York Herald: "Did l hear that you
were engaged to Miss Bullion"
81 don't know whether you did or not.
| Great Scott, man! Can't you remember what
| you hear without having some one along to
| make notes for you!n
"You claim that you were insane when you
proposed to her!'
"Yes. sir.n
| ''Can you prove it''
| "Ies, sir"
| "Howl"
"By producing the plaintiff in court and
! letting the jury look at her"
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
All Alike This Year.

The Reno (Nev.) Gazette man sent tho
following letter from the state capital: This
is the worst you ever saw. NO session ever
opened so dull, andyou never saw gang so
completely lost in your life. Most of them
crawl into their holes at night and and pull
their holes in after them, and the assembly
has held about half hour session and done
nothing. The senate is little better The
streets are deserted
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
Harvard's Honored Head.

President Charles w. Eliot, the distip-
guished head of Harvard college, will ad-
dress the Omaha teachers association at
Washington hall on Tuesday evening, Febru-
ary IL.
During his stay in this city President Eliot
will be the guest of the Omaha Harvard
club, which will tender him reception on
Wednesday evening, February Is,
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
Buying Jurigesnips.

San Francisco CoU
Our citizens all know that few men by
the use of money have for some time past
controlled the nomination of nearly all of the
important Offices in the state Railroads and
two or three other interests have paid money
for the nomination of such judges and other
officials as would suit their purposes.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

ACCORDING to London advices, John
G. New is not disposed to exchange a
consulship for the treasury portfolio
With true Indiana shrewdness, he pre-
fors the emoluments of a paying place TO
the honors. and expensive luxury Of a
cabinet position.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
Pacific Presidential Timber.

Portland (Ole) Telegram.
In trying to make a vice president of Gov
ernor Pennoyer, some of these fellows may
be getting the cart before the horse. There
has never been president from the Pacific
states, but that is no argument that there
never will be- This is monstrous big
country, and its biggest timber grows on
tttiS
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Now will the legislature please in
quire how much there is left of the
100000 placed at the disposal Of the
state relief committee? And how many
dollars worth of goods they bought and
shipped out on the credit of the state
before the appropriation was signed by
the governorY
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

THE proceedings of the city council
will revive memories of the stirring
times when the Holly water boodlers
we're playing an engagement behind the
footlights of Redick's opera house.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

WITH three senators commissioned,
the Idaho legislature is baloting for the
fourth. The remarkable activity of the
rock bound state promises to crafty the
ambition of every senatorial aspirant in
SIGHT
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

ITALY is floundering under floating
debt of 81, ,45O, 900, 900, with an annual in
terest charge of 1882, 100000. The fig
ures represent the first class airs Of a
fourth rate power.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
Indian News.

PiOCIs (NeU) Record.
Few Indians about town and nothing un-
usual in their actions. They continue to
work little, gamble good deal and get
drunk as often as possible. No prophet or
war is troubling them
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
Try it Yourself.

N9W IOrt HefdId,
If you want to comprehend the full mean
ing of the closure rule, apply it in your own
family when new spring bonnets adorn shop
windows. But say your prayers first and
have "a heart for any fate"
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

THE proper thing for the council to
do is to clean out the entire plumbing
department and secure the services of
competent men from top to bottom.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

BANKER KEAN's assets are a source of
serious concern in Chicago legal circles.
The question is not one of division, but
to find enough to pay court expenses and
laWYers' feoS
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

WHEN combine grapples with COM
bine, the subsequent proceedings throw
melancholy shadow over the histori-
cal meeting OF the Kilkenny cats.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Now it is proposed to knock out the
overhead wire system by state law. The
plan is an underground suggestion to the
com mpanies to come down-to Lincoln.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

IF Mr.. Fitzsimmons' engagements are
not too pressing he can secure profit
able job by applying to the Omaha city
council
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

THE fancy prices obtained for the
postolice site junk ought to induce the
owners of the surrounding fire traps to
run out the red flag.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Spare Moments: The Judge-Officer
Grady, please arrest Lawyer Case's atten-
ton.
TIL warrant.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

NelC York WOrld.
With Gould on the road the public is on
the rack.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

CORPORATIONS prating about "bad
faith" should not dwell in conservatories
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

SOCIALLY speaking, the midnight
tiger hunt of the police was a brilliant"
affair, but -
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

PEACE reigns once more in South
Omaha.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
The Bee Publishing COmnanV. PrOUrGtOrS,
The Bee Bldg, Farnam and Seventeenth SITS
State OF Nebraska, /

ttHtt OF NGOTHSKN, q,
County Of Douglas, 81
George B. Tzschuck, being duly sworn, de-
poses and says that he is secretary of The BEE
Publishing company, that the actual average
daily circulation of THE DAILY BEE for the
month of February, 1880, lD,7Gl copies; for
March, 1890 20.sl5 copies; for April. 1890, 2O,564
copies; for May, 1890, 1SO copies; for June,
1890, 20,2Ol copies; for July, 1890, 20.662 copies;
for August 1890, 20, $50 copies; for September,
,lsoO, NSf0 copies; for October 1890. 2O,762 cop
les; for \ NOvcm ber, 1890. 2,lD copies; for De-
cember, 1890. 23,47l copies; for January, 1891,
2e.446 copies. GEORGE Il. TZsCHUCK
Sworn o before me, and subscribed in my
presence, this 31st day of January, 4. D.. 1891.
n. u. FELL,
Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Binghamton Leader: There ars' some
people in this world who would not be salts
fed if they were perfectly contented.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

THE total cost of street paving repairs
last year was $4,000. OF this sum
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Drakes Magazine: At the clothes of the
season-Vest-"H How are you feelingp
-"Completely worn out"
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Life When the hon lies down with the
lamb, there is nobody to ask, Haven't you
forgot something sir!
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
PASSING .TES rs.

Chicago Tribune: Harry" inquired the
anxious wife, ''wbat doctor shall / callrr
"Send for DR.. Squinine," said the sick hus-
band feebly. 'IIe's courting old Bullion's
daughter, and old Bullion is the treasurer of
the life insurance company Pm insured in.h
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
THE DAILY BEE
T.. RosEwATER Enron
PUBLISHED EVERY MORNING.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
OFFICES;

OFFICES:
Omaha, The Bee Building.
South Omaha. Corner n and Goth Streets.
Council Bluffs, ~ Pearl street.
Chicago Once, 317 Ch amber Of Commerce;
New York. Rooms l3 u and l5,Tribune Building
Washington, 5i3 Fourteenth street
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12
CORREsPONDENCE.
BUSINESS LETTERS.

, All comnunc ations relating TO news and
editorial matter should be addressed TO the
Editorial Department..
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

All business letters and rcmittances should
be addressed 10 The Bee Publishing Company,
Omaha. Drafts, checks and postottice orders
10 he made payable 90 the order OF the COM
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

Life: Jones-We must make this banquet
grand success. Have you got some goot
cigars to give aways
Brown-Oh, yes; they're excellent ones tt
give away.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

St Joseph News: Woman's aim in life Is
rarely reached. unless the aim is a man and
the missile glance of the eye.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-02-12

New York Weekly: Foreign Visitor-Does
it cost much to live in New York'
Host-NO, sir, it doesn't cost much to live
in this city, but it costs like Sam Hill to keep
up appearanCeS.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
EDITORIAL EXCERPTS.

Allen O. Myers, who knows as much
about Democrat politics IN Ohio as any
other man, says if Gov. Campbell is re-
nominated he will be the worst beaten
man, Vallandigham excepted. who ever
run for Governor of Ohio. and further
says that If Mrs. Campbell should die
the Governor Would never be heard of
again.-AdrIan Times.
The squavbucks are given to thiev-
ing and dishonesty even among them
selves. Hieronymus Engiemen, the
man who holds down the position Of
legislative postmaster, reports that
some $40 worth of stamps have been
trusted out to members for which he
sees no prospect of payment. There
may be such q thing as honor among
thieves. but among squawbucks there IS
none.-Lansing Republican.
We trust it will not disturb the Gov
ernor to any great extent to learn that
the National encampment 10 destined to
become n success IN spite of his efforts
TO render it q failure. The patriotic
portion of MichIgan's inhabitants will
feel no great degree of pride, however,
as they contemplate the action of their
chief executive.-Bay City Tribune.
And now church festival lemonade
has caused riot in a Brighton, Ohio,
church in which one man was hit IN the
head with Ratchet, another with a
stone, while a third had finger bitten
off and another was thrown out of the
church. The Ohio brand of church
lemonade seems worse than the circus
article and should be taken with care,
as the five men now in jail can testify.
Marquette Mining Journal.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
AFTER MILLIONS.
The Edwards Heirs Laying Claim To Man
haitian Island.

haitian Island.
PANA. H.. June ga few DAYS ago
a Mr. Edwards. from Kentucky. ar
rived in this city 10 inform relatives of
a large legacy which had fallen to
them. The story was almost like tale
from the Arabian Nights" Joseph
and George Moore and their sisters were
the fortunate parties. During the CO.
lonial days King George III. granted
a tract of land, situated on Manhattan
island. to Robert Edwards. who, during
the revolutionary war, leased 1t to the
crown for military purposes. The
king afterwards leased il to another
party for term of ninety-nine years,
which lease recently expired. The
island has been divided and has
changed owners many times and valua-
BILE improvements have been made I'M
Ill the value of the land in question has
reached an enormous sum. The present
occupants of the land say they arc will
ing to compromise with the Edwards
heirs for sos, 200, 900, or S554. 900 for
each of the 312 heirs. Hon. j. j. In
gals, ex-senator from Kansas, has been
working on the case for some time past
and last November a judgment was
rendered whereby the land in dispute
reverted to the heirs of Robert Ed
wards. Messrs. Moore were greatly
surprised to hear of their good fortune,
as they had taken no interest whatever
in the matter.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
A Thrifty Invalid.

II appears that it Is customary in Glas-
cow To send carriages TO George square. In
the center Of the city. for the convenience
OF business men attending funerals. On
one occasion the undertaken, on getting
into the last carriage. found 1t already oc-
cupied by man in black, whom be recog
nized a. having been present at several
recent funerals.
DESTROYS of knowing the identity OF the
gentleman whose circle appeared to be so
frequently visited by the Destroying Angel.
be said in an of handed manner:
II suppose. moo. ye wad ken the corpser
"No"
"a frien' o. the wife's, maybe'"
"No'
"Gaed to the same kirk. likely''
"Nos
"a business frieu', thea's
Mo-
The urd.rtaker's cstechisrn and his "a
thence being by this time exhausted, he
was about TO express his sstonishment at
what could have brought the mourner 20
the funeral. when the latter vouchsafed
this explanation.
"Ye zee. It's this wsv, hsens been
vera weel this while back. sad the doctor
advised me tae TAX carriage exerceese.
This Is the third time this week hae b-ea
q the Metropolis already. London Tit
Esf,
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

IA the early days OF Kansas irnmi-
grafton the cry used 10 be kansas or
bust" Now tie cry goes up from Kan
sas Tor corporation or bust" faa
Buren, Prather, state lecturer OF the
Kansas Alliance says that the alliance
viii have cooperation or bust tnlngs
generally. At least such Is the tenor OF
his words. lie says: I've have been
working upon the competitive plan un-
81 Ne are nearly 3 nation OF wealth
producing paupeEs. Others have been
working upon the cooperative plan and
are wealthy. Snow the difference 10
our people. We are the masters OF the
situation, not only politically, but from
a buansss standpoint. If We Will only
learn the great lesson of cooperation.
would advise not less than two days
for lectures, meeting and schooling
upon the different topics for discussion.
Present All uubroken front and march
on 10 victory by following the princi-
pies of cooperation Then millions OF
wage slaves Will soon be emanclpated
and happiness and prosperity will be
our reward. The laborer is worthy OF
his hire, and by the eternal, he shall
have IL" Competition has been con-
s.dered heretofore as the life OF trade.
but now life is TO be succeeded by kind
Of cooperative passivity, I'D which one
mans business will be everybody's bus
mess and everybody's business will be
nobody's business. This may tend 10
equality-a dead equality-but it will
not tend TO progress. No one guiding
spirit will pervade any business, III
which no one has any more interest
than another. IL the heart had no
more responsibility resting upon it than
any other organ of mans anatomy has.
life would soon cease and the whole or
gansm sink in decay. There is no such
thing as great enterprise III which all
members have like Interests and re-
sponsibihties.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
Electric Bifters.

This remedy is becoming so we'll
known and so popular as to need no
special mention. All who have used
Electric Bitters sing the same song of
praise-A purer medicine does not ex-
list and 1t Is guaranteed TO do all that is
claimed. Electric Bitters will cure all
diseases of the Liver and Kidneys, will
remove Plmples, Boils, Salt Rheum and
other affections caused 10y impure
blood. Will drive Malaria from the
system and prevent rs well as cure all
Malarial fevers.--For cure of Headache,
Constipation and Indigestion try Elcc-
trio BItters-Entire satisfaction guaran-
teed, or money refunded.-Price 10 cts.
and sl.oo per bottle at Peck Bros Drug
store.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

The best salve in the world for cuts
bruises, sores, ulcers. salt rheum. fever
sores. letter, chspped hands, chilblains.
corns and ali skin eruptlons, and posi-
lively cures piles. or no pay required.
II il guaranteed 10 give perfect sstisfac-
ton or money refunded. Price . cents
Per trox. For sale by Peck Bros. drug
g7sts. ocrner Monroe and pivslon-sts.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

A Naval Grew Atseapts &c yoin the
Rebels-Ths Dessrters Captured saa


A Naval Grew Attempts &c yola the
kebeis-Ths Dessrters esPssrea .aa
sAot.
NEW YORK. June 26-A dispatch
from Valparaiso. dated NAY Il, says;
ON Friday last. the crew of the torpedo
launch Gaala. on guard a. picket boat
Ia the harbor. made an unsuccessful
attempt 10 desert 10 the enemy They
steamed away in the fog with the hope
their coal could not take them
SO great distance dawned
on them too late. Putting
into fiehieuy those implicated
jumped aboard and swan ashore. The
others, who meantime had been under
matches. freed themselves and. with
waste and oil as fuel. succeeded in
reaching Papudo, where they were
found by the sargente Alaea and the
Rucumilli, two other launches sent IN
pursuit, and brought back 10 this port
yesterday The seven mutineers were
captured on shore, sent overland 10
Valparaiso, reaching here last even
ing, when they were summarily
shot The division of the
Gillian army commanded by Gen.
stephan. the Balmaeedist, which has
already twice crossed the snow-covered
Andes and which has been several
times dispersed by the Argentine au-
thorities, has rejoined the main body of
President Balmaceda's army after re-
crossing the Cordillera at height OF
II. 500 feet above the level of the sea
and with snow 90 feet deep on the
mountains
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

J. B. Wilson; 81; Clay-st., sharpsburg,
Pa, says he will not be without DR..
Kings New Discovery for Consumption
Coughs and Colds, that il cured his
wife. who was threatened with Pneu-
monia after an attack Of LA Grippe;'
when various other remedies and sew
ersl physicians had done her no good.
Robert Barber, Of Cooksport. Pa, claims
DIR. Kings New Discoeery has done him
more good than anything he ever used
for Lung Trouble. Nothing like it, Try
il. l0c trial bottles at Peck Bros Drug
Store larep bottles h0c and 81
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

THE Globe Democrat thinks that the
only men, according to present indlca-
tons, who stand any chance of obtain
ing the nomination next year are
Blaine, Harrison and Mckinley. OF
Blaine it expresses doubt whether he
would accept. AS for Mckinley. it
waits to hear from the Ohio election
this fall before expressing an opinion.
1t might as we'll sum up Mckinley now,
for his election Is a toregone conclusion.
The Democracy could not gerrymaa-
der the state as q whole, and that is the
only way for them to beat Mckinley.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

In scarlet fever and diphtheria the period
OF incubation is brief, few days only. aud
during this period there is no contagion
IL is very important TO know that In scar
let fever the period Of greatest danger is
after the disappearance of the fever. the
period Of desqusmation or peeling. From
ignorance of this fact many lives have
been lost Persons have gone into society
before the peeling was completed, and al
most, OF course, have communicated the
disease. The fact Is that every particle Of
.he scales contains thousands OF microbes
- Youths COMPANION.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

Never Heard of "Davy Crockett's COon?''
That's queer. Well, it was like this:
Col. Crockett was noted for his skill az
n marksman. One day he leveled his
gun at racoon in a tree, when the
animal, knowing the Co!onePs proves.
cried out, "Hello, there! Are you Davy
Crockett 1t you are, I'll just come
down, for | know I'm gone coon."
Just take a dose OF DR.. Pierce's Pleas
ant Purgatlve Pellets, and see how
quickly your biliiousness and indiges-
ton will emulate the example of "Davy
Crocketts cOon." and "cllmb down"
They are specifics for all arrangements
of the liver, stomach and bowels.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
The First Symptoms OF Death.

Tired feeling, dull headache, pains in
various parts of the body sinking at the
pit of the stomach. loss Of appetite,
feverishness, dimples or sores, are all
positive evidence of poisoned blood.
No matter how it became poisoned 1t
must be purified to avoid death. DR..
Acker's English Blood Elixir has never
failed TO remove scrofulous or syphilit-
ic poisons. Sold under positive guar
autee.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
Don't Want n Doctor.

l have tried them, and they have only
swindled me. bave figured up what
they have cost me for the last four
years, it was just S524.3l. If l had it
now it would I've 4 fortune for me. This
year my bill for medicine was only five
dollars, for which / purchased six
bottles of Sulphur Bitters. They cured
me of Scrofula after suffering four
years.-P. j. Cummings, Troy, n. Y.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

sYNrToNs-Moisture; intense itching
and singing: most at night; worse by
scratching. IL allowed TO continue
tumors form, which often bleed and
ulcerate, becoming very sore. swAYSE's
OINTMENT stops the ltching and bleed.
ing. heals liberation, and IN mcst cases
removes the tumoTs. At druggists. or
by mail. tor 30 cents. DIR. swayne a
Son, Philadelphia.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

REPvBrfcsSrsw rests upon demon
ssrated facts. Democracy consists
largely in oft-repested, but undemon-
strated theories. The results Of rrotec-
tive tariffs are those demonstrated
facts. The results Of free trade. pure
aud simple. are those undenaonstrsted
theories, smsnsting from Gnpsei6ed
nnrass
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

Pater-Parson. vbst'll ee your figure tor
marin mr. dsrtsr Jane 81 II P1nkney'
Parsoa-Five dollars, unless vou'H GIN
re the contract far iinin' the seven other
girls ia DO the Ies for seventy five.-New
York Ecoch.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

SENATOR CUIIoN, Of Illinois, in a
recent interview spoke thus Of Mr..
Blaine "a a Presidential possibility:
There - a unanimous opinion in the
state that f he will accept the nomins-
ton there Is nothing in the world that
can defeat him IN 1902. "A through
out toe country Mr.. Blaine "a stronger
now IN Illinois than he ever was"
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

Nrs Puntinx-I,oa. do you think ron
uns.ie = good Impression on Mr.. Scsdess
Tan-I'm afraid not, mamma. be Ell a
20 ~ clock New Xoxk Eoecn
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

Miss Poetique - The day Is nearly
done.
Jack Spratt-Oh, no. it isn't It's
very raw.-New York Truth.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27
ror ov.r Fsftv Year.

Mss wrxsTow- e SoorHExs sxRUr has beer usas
for children teethsn1 II s0ctnes TIRE cbsia
saffeus fhe egYTs easvs al pain c1res ~ ~
selsr snf "a The h%sf ~ rely f5T aisrrhees.
Iwensy-fve cents Bette.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-27

Peckhan's Group Remedy cures
rhooPing cough.