The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-07-28
TIE STRAW A


the most deceptive is the straw hat. A
fraud Of the first water, it %pretends to
lend a pleasing GOODNESS while it propa-
gates an artificial heat. 1t is pre-
eminently n of those juggling tiends
that keep the word Of promise to our
ear and break it to our hope" But that
is not the full measure of the indict-
ment against the straw hat. Its freaks
and its vagaries forcibly recall the story
Of the old stage driver, disgusted with
the modern innovation Of railroads.
How any sane man could venture his
life on such contrivances passed his
comprehension. The risk was SO plain.
He could put it in nutshell. If a stage
should chance to lose a wheel and by
some miraculous providence an upset
followed. why there the passengers
we're. But when a railroad accident oc-
Cured, as they always were occurring,
and when everything went to everlast-
lug smash, where were the passengers?
Should a mar lose his silk hat in q gale
of wind, he knows precisely what to eX-
pect. His position is that Of the pas
senger on the old stage. With a CON
sistency worthy of the highest praise,
his tile makes a bee line for the nearest
mud puddle, and after a few preliminary
tossings, as when one goes to bed, it
settles down to rest. The nap, of course,
is irretrievably ruined, but that is in the
interest Of the trade. The owner
marches solemnly to the watery grave,
and with a dignified look Of regret re-
| places his beaver and marches down the
street. His sense Of dignity has not
been outraged and, the escapade once
over, his head covering seems eager to
apologize for it's thoughtless flight, and
it's c%ountenance shines with moist re-
grets. There is in the silk hat an in
nate dignity that generally acts as a
barrier to its g%amboling about like q
festive kid. 1t is true that the original
sin, which we must believe Unborn in
every kind of head covering, will break
out now and then, but the repentance
that the silk hat displays is undoubtedly
sincere and lasting.
To a derby hat. society pays less rev.
erenc than to its more exalted relative
and society has itself to blame if, on try
ing occasions, the derby's conduct is not
always quite so sedate as it might be.
Respect breeds respect. We have not
permitted the derby to enter upon
terms of familiar intercourse with the
exclusive portion Of our attire. We 60
to the opera house or to a ball, we bring
out our dress coat, and we never fail to
invite the silk or the crush hat to make
one of the company. This contemptuous
treatment does not improve the temper
of the derby. It's associations with
business tweeds and even seersuckers
do not tend to bring out the best that is
in 1t. Consequently, the vice in its ma
tnre is fairly we'll developed, and the
Hyde in it's composition very often dom
mates the Jekyll. 1t is generally ready
to AXE advantage of a reasonably strong
breeze to desert its post of duty, anc
when remorse begins TO prey upon it,
conscience, it displays a suicidal ten
dency to immediate itself under passing
hack wheels; a proceeding which, how
ever laudable from the derby point o
view, is extremely distressing to the
purse of it's possessor.
But In the straw hat vice reigns su.
preme. The Hyde has entirely over
thrown the Jekyll. Why it should b.
so, is somewhat hard to tell. IT NAV b
that a f~oreknowledge of it's early dealt
has rendered it reckless. The tradi
tlonal consignment of its kind, after
butterfly summer existence, to n dar.
closet or the garbage heap, may hav
bllghted all It's highest aspirations
With nothing to live for, a short life an
a merry one may seem to the straw ha
the acme of existence below. What
ever the reason or reasons annexed. tn
straw hats traits are thoroughly vicious
The very faintest suspicion of a breez
will entice it to abandon it's post. Onct
free, 1t seems to be possessed by a de
monte spirit. He that has seen tb
skillful angler play his fish has som
slight knowledge of the tactics Of a will
straw hat. With a playful air it Skin
from the head and seems to settle au
city out OF reach on the sidewalk. III
thing was so evidently an accident th,
the owner smiles a serene smile and cor
hdently stoops to reclaim his propert,
Skip! it lands a few feet further on. II
air displays It's annoyance with IL
playful breeze. 1t would come back i
self if it could, but destiny is too muc
for it. Feeling it foolish to become en-
barrassed about a trifie, the hatless or
saunters forward only to find that h
bat has been seized with an impulse (
examine the grading Of the street. TIL
is provoking, and he begins to doubt tn
) good Intentions Of the hat. The smiI