The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-13
BRIGHT BITS.

AN immigrant ship was coming up the harbor
Just as the sunset gun was fired.
Look at that now" exclaimed a happy Hi
bernian, Moi cousin Moike told me that they'd
make an alderman of me. but OF didn't think
that they d be so proud 70 see me they'd foire
salute. "-Hdrpers BdzdT.
The summer girl
Now takes a whirl
In zephyr-wooing clothes;
Her ribbons gay
i With the breezes play,
And she has bows and beaux
Detroit Free Press..
"You don't seem disposed to cultivate my &C
quaintance," said BifftOn TO Miss Pepperton.
Really, Mr.. Biffton, don't remember hav-
ing been presented 70 any acquaintance of
yours who presented deficiency in cultivation
that felt equal TO supplying, :" and sailed out
OF the room leaving Biffton cory ne spoke
Washington Star.
WHAT did that lady have the screen across
one end of the room for, maS" asked little
Johnny, who had been making call with his
mother.
81 suppose she had something there she
didn't want seen, replied his mother.
And was that the reason. ma, that when you
thought she wasn't looking you peeped behind
itf'-HdrDer's BdzdT.
WOMAN from Northern New England was
visiting Boston little while ago On her sight
seeing tours about town she passed through
School street. What is that?" she said, point
ing to one of the architectural features of the
place THAT is city hall, j." was the reply. She
gazed at it in silence for moment. and then,
sponded: "Oh, that's where they hold their
socisbles and things, s'pose." Not so very
wrong, either.-Bost0n Beacon.
DELEGATION of charitably dispoed ladies
called on merchant to solicit his aid in reliev-
ing the necessities Of poor family. What is
the name of the familyf'' asked the merchant
'The lady has seen better days and is too proud
to allow her name to be mentioned" That's
just the fix nay family is in. If l were to con
tribute might be contributing to support my
own family as objects OF charity. My pride
will not suffer me to take any such risks as that
Otherwise, ladies'. would be only too glad to
assist you. "-7eIds Stfttn0s.
PRoPRIEroRs should be asked to display a
card giving the tariff for tips In their hotels
and reading something like this: For con-
Quoting guest up the main aisle OF a dining
ROOM 81 to the head waiter. for service at the
table, Is cents 20 the waiter; for handing hat
or shawl 10 cents to the hatrack man; for
brushing, cents to the small boy three times a
day; for the postage stamp seller, double prices
for stamps ETC." The public would then know
what exsctions it must Submit 10 and could
make its calculations accordingly. -Phlddel
phtd Press.
ONE of the peculiarties of human nature is TO
ask question that Is exceedingly foolish For
instance if one sees friend knocked down by
a coal cart the first question that one is apt to
ask is: Did you get knocked DOWN." At Troost
Park last evening a gentienoan was standing on
the edge of the lake when he slipped and fell in.
Naturally his temper was at a white hest. He
glared about savagely when stranger who
was standing by and who had seen the accident
asked: Did you fall inf" The fellow paused,
and while his eyes were swapping fire remarked
| sarcastically: No, didn't fall in The lake
walked up on me. "-KGnsos city Times.
A GENTLEMAN from the rural districts being
anxious to hear the photograph in a hotel in
this city, asked an obhging person standing
near 70 operate It for him. After placing the
requisite nickel in the slot and having the tubes
in his ears he sang out: Hello, there Just
| machine started and the countryman began to
| dance and sing. He was told that the band of
| New Jersey regiment was playing, and after
| in this wise: Where in tarnation is that. any
way? never thought telephone could send
| from New Jersey. "-BdnoOT Commercial