Feliciana sentinel., 1891-01-17

1oety-six years 70 earn os7a. o0A heW
circumstances and conditions and for .
similar period, will it take to earn g..
at, 14a IS?
276, 600 1.577. .142. 2s /: 20.
Multiply our second term by our thiva
and divide the product by our first. An.
swer ia 7ss57-276. 900 nobodieA A frSo-
| tion of q nobody docs not amount 70
much, SO will discard the fraction and
call it ia.
| Gracious, goodness me, what an enter.
prising. public-spirited man Mr. Van
Grip wasl
1t warns tho cookies Of my heart 10
contemplate him. just think Of it. He
earned and saved more than ia Of the
ordinary run of men earned and squan.
dered.
Pondering over those figures An idea
occurred to mo, and rs am not ono Of
those who keep their light under .
bushel, 1 give it to the readers of The
| Standard. It is this: The sole object
OF life nowadays is money. Granted.
There are over SC, 900. 900 human bei,,gs
in these United States at the present
writing. Now, suppose that one-fifth
Of these are able-bodied mon (which
IAey 0E0 uOty OuG We "LA CuppOS0 SOJ,
| engaged in a terribly earnest pursuit OF
that object and suppose again that in
every 115 of these 10. 600, 600 thnrc is ono
Mr.. Van Grip and ia incapable nobodies.
| Now let us figure out that and see what
it comes to:
! 115 : 100000 =:
Proceed as we have done above and
| we find that there are s6956 1928 Mr..
| Van Grips and 9, 0l3. .O43 1923 incapable
nobodies who are unwilling or unable to
accomplish any thing toward the objec1
referred to-money.
| Now have come to the idea Listen:
| Let those 9,9l3, 043 1928 incapable no
bodies be quietly choked, or burned. or.
perhaps, it would be cheaper to dump
| them into the sea, and then after that
has been done let us stranglo all the no
body infants as fast as they appear and
save and carefully raise tho Van Grip
| Infants; if-but. hang it, here comes
! this terrible 'if!" How are we to recog-
nize tho Van Grip infants? There's the
rub. Perhaps some reader Of Tho Stand.
ard may devise a mode OF bviating this
little difficulty.
Some men are curious animals. re.
lated the facts above written to my
friend Pete Drudger. and instead of np
spirit Of Mr.. Van Grip as they deserve,
he metaphorically toro that respect
able gentleman's memory to tatters.
said he never did an honest days work
in his life. said he was nothing but .
bloated spider who lay idly in his hole,
and watched an opportunity to prey up
on the poor nobodies, said that the
81, 557, 142. s5 of right belonged to the ia
nobodies ] spoke of. then branched of
into some nonsense about ''unearned in
crement" or some such stuff, and finally
wound up by calling me a fool, and said
that If my ''idiotic idea" about burning.
choking and drowning could, by any
possible means, be carried into execu.
ton, should be the first victim. as he
had never known more incapable no.
body than l am; whereupon left him.
There is no use in trying to reason with
such men. OWEN EIrzsIMoNs.
A London Landlord. sol,loquy.
London Echo.
'Hah! A letter from Jones, the grocer,
asking me to renew his lease. on the
ground that he has built up business
after great expenditure and years OF
work. and will be ruined IL don't allow
him to remain where he is. Jones is an
imperfcctly informed person. He i'm
agines I exist for him, whereas Jones,
like all his neighbors-those living in
the streets which belong to me, and |
those living in other streets as we'll. |
this vast metropolis-all |
exist and toll and think for me- Ha!
ha! ha! just think Of it; I own squares,
and streets, and terraces, and draw a
splendid and princely income from them.
And l not only get my rents regularly
paid. and see houses which were built
on ground that / fortunately refused to
sell and would only let-like my
ancestors, wise men-on short
leases, gradually falling into my hands,
becoming my own, to be let at high and
increasing rents, but / see all London
toiling to make me richer, and conse-
quenuy more powerful and-happier.
What delightful thought it is.
Not q merchant, who increases the
wealth and trade OF this great metropo.
lis; not a workman, who adds to its in
dustrial product; not an author, or writ
er, or scientific man that adds to its rep
uta ton; not a builder, not father Of an
increasing family, but puts gold into my
pocket by augmentin0 the value OF my
land and houses. ] toll not, neither do
spin. Why should 1 when all the
world around is toiling and spinning for
me? My gifts even-they are not great,
Tor invest all l can in real property, so
that those who follow me may have even
greater wealth and power than myself
can all be made to enhance my own po-
sition. II beautify a street, or give a
site upon which a handsome church or
chapel can be built, or subscribe to i'm
perial institutes or South KensinRton
improvements, do not still benefit nv.
self? Every thing works for the
best for me in this best Of all possible
worlds. The brains, sinews, energies
inventions of all mankind are mine in a
peculiar sense. / not only profit by
them as other people d., but they all
tend to one end-the increasing value Of