The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-09-08
THE ARIZONA KICKER.


| Making Things Interesting for Bill
ChudsO-A Great Climate.
THE RIGHT THNG.-We told Bill Chudso
J in these columns over two months ago that
! the climate of this locality would wear him
out, and strongly advised him to travel.
| He thought he knew the town better than
we did, and the result was a hanging last
Friday night. Bill kept on drinking and
| fussing until he put bullet into Indian
| Mike. No doubt Mike ought to have been
shot long ago, but the boys concluded that
Bill Chudso was getting too careless with
his gun, and he was invited to go out and
be hung.
We were early on the spot, Of course,
while our contemporary never even heard
of the case until next day. We expected
Bill would be little sore on us. but he
wasn't. He wanted to shake hands with
us before he was tied, and during the ff-
teen minutes allowed him on the head of
the barrel he spoke in the highest terms of
us as a citizen and as the editor of a great
weekly paper. He called direct attention
to The Kicker, declaring it worth five times
the subscription price Zone dollar In ad-
vance,, and added that if he had needed
the good advice found in every issue he
would not have been standing where he
YVES. In fact, Bill talked SO fuently that
we were almost mind to ask the boys to
spare him and let us try him as an adver
tiSing solicitor. We reflected, however,
that the crowd had been put to a great
deal of trouble and would probably be
disappointed, and therefore held our peace
while Bill was swung off. The very last
thing he did was to hand US his gun as an
equivalent to the cost of ten years. sub
scription to The Kicker for his mother.
IT'S THE CLIMATE.-We are in receipt of
letters every week from parties in the east
asking about business, the climate, chances,
etc. There are some good things about
this country, and we don't deny that there
are some bad ones. The better way is to
come out and personally investigate. AS
far as the climate is concerned, we declare
it the best on earth. Our own case is
proof of what it can do. We arrived in
this town three years ago with one lung
gone, lame in both knees, dead broke for
cash, and having cough on us which
made everybody think thunderstorm was
coming up when we let loose. Our eyes
were so bad we couldn't see a Digger In
dian fifty feet away, and our hearing had
run down until man would have had to
ask us four times to drink with him before
we could have suspected what was up.
The first three nights here we slept un-
der wagon on Kit Carson square, and we
remember Of old Bill Parker |
kicking us across the street when we asked |
him to lend US a dime to buy breakfast. |
Old Bill is dead now. We took somewhat |
of an active part in his hanging. Today |
we are the richest and the healthiest man !
in the county, feel like a Texas steer all /
the time, and have got a hole full of /
Before the climate took hold of |
Us anybody could boot us around and slap /
our jaws The worm turned one day, and
since that time we have shot ten men and
about fifty others. The man
who kicks us has got to be chain lightning.
We lead the social swirl, will shortly be
elected mayor, and whatever we say goes.
Gradually, as the climate mas affected and
developed us, we have introduced the style
Of eating with fork, wearing white shirts
and encouraging Chinese laundries, and
we are considered authority on grammar,
prize fights, ancient history, poetry, the
business outlook and the grizzly bear.-M.
Quad in New York World.