davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
BRIGHT BITS.

MY DAUGHTER can sing in all the languages"
80 see. She's doing it now, is she noty"-
Hdrper's Bdzdr.
some People" said a clever observer speak
ing OF an over-seastive friend the other day.
"leave their feelings lying around for other
people to step on" Boston Traveller
JuDGE-What do you do during the weeki
Tramp-Nothing.
And on SundayP"
Then take day off.-Teras Siftings
HARpFAcE-I used to be a regular caller at
the Bellows mansion.
CheekIeigh-O, cone off!
Hardface-It is q fac5. Used to drive a
milk wagon; course did.-Epoch.
BIFFLEs-This is pretty high wind.
Sniffies-I suppose it's due to the McKin--
Biffes' Gun-Ban<!
Snitfies' Corpse-Thudl
Coroner's Jury - Justiflable. - MunseU's
Weekly.
FOND FATHER to BOBBY, aged 5}-Now,
Bobby, what is the hardest stone In the world?
Bobby-Dont know.
Fond Father-Can' t you think?
Bobby--Ye5h thr; but l can't think hard
enough.-JetCeters' Weekly.
TURNKEY ENN1s-Did you search that man in
No. So?
Sergeant Sinking-Yes; what's the matter!
Turnkey knnis-Why he wants to know If
you've got his false teeth out here. He wants
to eat upper.-CincinnGti Enquirer.
FIRST BEGGAR--l asked her Tor some oysters
Second Beggar-An' what said shes
First Beggar-She said Ego to-
Second Beggar-Whereat you said
First Beggar-Aye, that and more madam.
l could easily go six.-Net0 York Herald.
SHE sped along the icy street,
coming out young bud;
She slipped, alas out flew her feet =:
There was an awful thud.
The man who helped her to rise
Told me with bated breath,
That the word she used to his surprise,
Means something after death.
Puck.
sANso- Hamlet knew how to talk to a
woman.
Mrs. Sanso-Indeed?
Sanso-Yes When he talked to his mother
he spoke daggers. He was enabled in that
way TO get his words in edgeway-Neto York
Sun.
SIZE (waiting for him in the ante-room)-And
did you ask papa.
He-Idid.
She-And what did he say?
He-Weally, Amy. ibid wather not arm
swer. II belong to the church, don't y know.
Judge.
MANAGER of world's fair, Chicago to special
commissionerl-We want the Venus de Milo at
the fair
Com missionaries, sir.
Manager learn that most of the Venus de-
Milos are broken. Get one that is perfectly
sound.-American StGtioner.
SLowBoY-Ah, Duffer. my boy, you are a
lucky dog. 1 didn't mean to spy on you, but
couldn't help seeing your charming wife with
her arms around your neck-a perfect picture
of domestic joy. l assure you it was affecting.
Duffer-You think so? Well. SO does nv
pocketbook. My wife. Slowboy, Rugged an
Easter bonnet out of it.-Chica0o Times.
'IRs. NEwBRIDE-O, doctor. tell me what is
the matter with my husbandS
Dr.. Sensible-Um-er-he is suffering with a
severe, but only temporary, paralysis of mus
Giles, induced by an exaggerated internal appli-
cation of stimulantS.
Mrs. Newbride-And the horrid cab driver who
brought MIN home said he was drunk.-Spore
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
lNDEE TO NBW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGS Stockholders of Gorrie Ice Man
ufacturing Company; Forest City Lodge No. 1.
X. of p
SPECIAL NOTICES to Bills Against the
Italian BARK Antonio; Easter Offerings at orear
& Co.'S Drug Store; Notice to Water Takers
Flannel Suits, B. H. Levy & Bro; Spring
Lamb and Green Peas for Easter, ]. J. Joyce;
Easter Eggs Free To-day at Heidt's: Ackpowl-
edgsment of Contributions by the Womanls
Christian Temperance Union; Fresh Straw
berries, Etc. at Reily's.
PRoPosALs-Wanted for construction Of Jetty
at Mouth Of Cumberland Sound, Ga.
ANUsEMESTs-Mr. G. E. Bottoms illustrated
Lecture at Gymnasium Hall, Wednesday,
April l.
LEGAL NoTIcEs-Notice to Debtors and Cred
itors estate OF Mary Tidings.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE-Savannah,F Florida aud
Western Railway
STEAMSHIP ScHEDUIE-Ocean Steamship Com
pany.
CHEAP COLUMN Recommendation Want
ed; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale
Lost; Per, onal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
Whsn the Farm sr Feels Happy.

FROM the PHILADELPHIA Inquirer.
lair: THE Old Boghole."1
When the crop is on the market and the cash is
in your sock.
And you hear the clink and jingle of the key
turned in the loe;,
And tue climbing OF the pennies and the
clinking OF the tens, "
And the grocery man is paid up and no more
his bill he sens;
o, it's then's the time Teller is feslin' at his
best,
When he rises from his supper then downward
As he smokes his pipe in comfort and then goes
and winds the clock
When the crop is on the market and the cash is
in his sock.
There's something kind o. cheerful-like about
the farmers eyes
When he knows the summers over and he
doesn't have to rise
About the, time the daylight's a-peepin' thro'
the gloom,
And work until the moons I'D mid the grain
that's all in bloom;
But instead he sorter calculates he'll hook old
Buck" and Jess
To his cutter in the evenin', and put on his Sun
Then go a courtin' Lizer, with her apron and
new frock,
When the crop is on the market and the cash is
in his sock.
o the huskin' and the spellin' bees-the winters
The raspin' Of the fiddle when the dancin' is
begun;
The jingle Of the sleigh bells, your best gal in
the sled:
The kissin' and the huggin' when the ole folks
ar in bed;
The roastin' of the chestnuts the neighbors
droppin' in;
The eatin' of the apples drinkin' cider from a
tin;
o it sets my heart q prancin', like struttin,
turkey cock,
When the crop is on the market and the cash ia
in the sock.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
sananaah,s Toll Roads.

There is no doubt that the verdict in the
Vernon shell road case voices the sentiment
of the people Of the whole county. The
toll road system belongs to past genera
| tion. It is not IN harmony with the ideas
and wishes Of this generation. The people
feel that the highways belong to them, and
they don't take kindly 70 the system which
requires them to pay for using them.
Two Of the most important roads leading
out Of Savannah are controlled by COM
panies, and the people who use them are
heavily taxed. All the roads should be free,
and the county should be required to keep
them in good repair.
The people of this county may have to
submit to the toll road system little
longer. but they are 50 hostile to it that it is
pretty certain that they will find a way to
get rid of it very soon. The remarkable
thing Is that they have not already found
way.
The paying of tolls on roads outside of the
city is bad enough, but to pay for using
streets within the city's limit is little too
heavy burden TO be borne without pro-
test
A higher court may declare the verdict in
the Vernon shell road case to be contrary
to the law, but it is by no means certain
that it will But whether it does or not the
jurymen who rendered the verdict have the
satisfaction of knowing that their action is
very generally approved. And even if it
should be decided finally that their verdict
is wrong they will be entitled to the credit
of having taken stand in favor of a re-
form that will lead to the taking of steps to
make the toll roads free roads. The OBJ
structing of travel upon two of the principal
outlets Of the city is something that cannot
be submitted TO much longer. II the toll
companies are protected by law the county
must purchase the freedom of tie roads.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
A Misinformed Alderman.

1t looks very much as If some Of the Cd
ponents of the South Bound Railroad Com
pany had been misrepresenting the purpose
OF that company so far as its intentions
with respect to Columbia are concerned.
From the proceedings Of the board of alder
men Of that city at its last meeting, as pub.
lished in The State, it appears that Alder
man Bremen moved to reconsider the
action of the board appropriating $4,000 to
secure the building of the South Bound to
Columbia. The State says: Alderman
Brennen's. motion created lively discussion.
Mr.. Bremen said that the terminal facilities
would not be in Columbia but in Savannah,
and he understood at first that the road
was to be an independent line. He moved
that the appropriation of $4,000 be recon-
sidered, and in place of that amount the
city should offer to remit the taxes on the
company's property for six months.
Alderman Hennies seconded the motion.
Alderman Allworden opposed the recon-
was now right at Columbia's doors, and it
would look ugly to have held out the bait
and now to reconsider it. On Alderman
Dunn's motion the matter was laid on the
table"
The alderman who favored breaking the
pledge of the city to the South Bound COM
pany would not have made the motion he
did, probably, had he not been misled by
persons who are hostile to the railroad. 1t
is we'll known fact that the South Bound
has secured everything that is necessary
for extensive terminal facilities in Columbia,
and that it is an independent railroad. 1t
is not controlled by any other road or by
any railroad syndicate
II the matter should be investigated it
would appear, doubtless, that the persons
who gave Alderman Bremen the story
upon which he acted, and upon which he
based his statement relative TO terminal
facilities in Columbia, are not anxious to
have the South Bound built to Columbia,
and that they are interested in enterprises
with which the South Bound seriously in
terferes.
Considering the benefits which will ac-
crue to Columbia from the South Bound,
the aldermen Of that city could we'll afford
to double the amount the city is pledged
to give the railroad instead of withholding
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
&c Olapped Eis Man on tha Ract

no Olapp6Q Els Man on the Back
1t was not a kind thing to 40, but he was a
young newspaper reporter. and was. whether
justly or unjustly, regarded as fresh His
city editor sent him up to meeting saws the
New YORK Tribune, and he started out little
100 eagerly, for he got the add ess wrong He
was not so familiar with New Y ork as reporters
generally are, and by the time he got the address
Strengthened out and found the correct one the
meeting was over, and he looked only upon
closed doors.
On the elevated train he met three other re-
porters going down TO their Offices and he told
them his dilemma.
20, it's lucky you got on this train" said one
want to see is on this train. There he sitsdown
there In the croSs-Seat-uhe old man with the
umbrella and the gray beard ="
ana hes peculiar old chap" said a second
man on have to know how to treat him
He g the president of the society, you know.
You want to be diplomatic, put in the third
conspirator, You've got to let him see that
you know him. You want to come up behind
MIN, clap him on the back-a good rousinp
lWhack, you know-and say Hello, Jenkins, old
boy, how did the little shindy come off 70
night" Then he'll think he knows you and win
tell you the whole story
peated. "'
80, trust me- said the young reporter with
confident SMILE Down the isle he went and
reaching the president" he gave him ter,
was an awful calm. Then jenkins, old bow. y
raised his umbrella and started for the Of
FENDER IL was chase for the door the Young
man yelling out his apologies, the old man
irantcally braudiShng his uni rella and max
ing violent whacks at the head of his assajIant
The youne er man reached the door in advance
however. and darting through it slammed it in
tho old mans face. As the wrathfuI old gentle
man was returning to his seat, red and painting
three young men without conscience were LET
ting out howlS of laughter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
Played strippers or Him.

| No, Stree, exclaimed . travelling salesman
Tor large Broadway importing house to the
New York Herald, you don't often catch us
or1mmers asleep. We're wide awake to the
tricks OF most all trades, can tell YOU
ne last time sharper tried 10 down me
was at Cleveland. O., few weeks ago. He
tried 70 work the stripper racket on me. was
seated IN my room early one evening when a
niue terrier dog ran in through the open door
and began shifting about Pretty soon a we'll
dressed young fellow appeared at the door. and.
epoioRizlng for the intrusion, asked il | had
seen stray dog anywhere around.
An, there you are said he, espying the
canine, always running away from me into
other peoples rooms he explained As might
De expected, one word led to another and very
Soh we were engaged in general conversation
Inc tax drifted to cards, and then the stranger
produced pack He had Just learned a new
trick which he would show me
- NOW take card and look at it. said be.
uIn as directed, selecting the ace of clubs Now
put II oack, he said, handing me the pack He
tnen requested ma to shuttle the cards we'll,
which did. He then took the pack
l., Ihere IS your card, he said at once, pro-
ducing the ace Of clubs. Very good said l.
put don't think you could do it again
tnen callet his attention to picture in the
room, while hurriedly examined the pack
not for $40
:, IN zee you said he, producing the money.
All right, said |, and the bet wes made. Then
selected cart-the ace of spades. He handed
poSAs requesting me 10 pace the cara
ana shuff1e them as much as pleased.
Now, can handle the pasteboards myself;
SO while was shuffiing just fixed the cards
on the sharper SO that he couldn't tell one card
from another. There said 1, handing him
the pack, where's my card?
he took the pack with smile of confidence
and began to run his fingers over the edges
Then he began to look trifle nervous Come
said l., produce the card or 1 take your
money
We'll, sir, after he had fumbled over the
PACK Tor few minutes l just pocketed his
so. Now, see here said to him syo,1've
your
He never said o word for about two minutes.
lie then rose to leave the room. Saw said he
as ne was about to leave, you're a New York
drummer for another twenty I'm not making
any more bets, said /. 4 knew it, he REMARKED
as he left the room
''Strippersf Why, that's a pack of cards
made slightly narrower on one end than the
other An almost imperceptib!e difference. vet
enough to be distinguished by the touch
When you select a card the sharper hands
you the pack so that you replace it upside down.
the broad end among the narrow ones-seeS
He can then snake it out without any trouble,
IT. a neat trick and hard TO detect unless Won
have been Initiated
OF course knew what he was I'D to when he
handed me the pack. put the card in as he
wanted 1t, and then, while / was shutting, I
quietly turned it around so that the ends wers
all alike 1870 49,
Did it cost me anything to learn that tricks
Meil-out I'm not giving myself away got
S2O out OF 1t back, at any rate
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
MEDICAL.
HEALTH IS WEALTH |

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HEIDI DRUG CO.. Sole Agents, Savannah, ga.
For Chatting, Prickly Heat, use Boracine Toilet
Powder. Is cents.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the fol owing
places. where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
]. II. BATES, IS Park Row.
G. P RowELL & Co, 10 Spruce street.
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FRANK HERMAN G. Co, 1872 Broadway.
DAUcHY g. Co., % Park Place.
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AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
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@ NCINNATI-
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ATLANTA
MoRSINe NEWS BUREAU, 3Is Whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE, 597 Mulberry street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
4 Settlement in Siabt

II is not improbable that a settlement OF
the gubernatorial muddle in Connecticut
will soon be reached. Several propositions
having that object in view are pending,
I The one that is viewed with most favor is
I that Of Senator Seymour. a democrat It is
that the democratic governor and the other
| democratic state officers shall be permitted
TO occupy their offices, and that the reDub-
! lican claimants shall have the privilege Of
making a contest for the offices In the SUI
preme court.
Another proposition is that Of Senator
Jones, which IS that an arbitration COM
it'ee, composed OF two democrats and one
republican, shall divide the Offices evenly
between the democrats and republicans.
The republicans say they would agree to
this proposition if the arbitration committee
should be made to consist Of two democrats
and two republicans.
The republicans are beginning to feel the
power of public sentiment, which is strongly
against them. There is no good reason for
doubling that the democratic candi late for
governor was fairly elected. He got a large
majority over the republican candidate and
a small majority OF all the votes cast Tue
claim of the republicans that there was no
election, because the election judges refused
to receive some Of the votes that we're
offered, is not valid, and if it should be pre-
seuted to an unbiased court it would be re-
jected.
The man who has prevented the demo-
cratic governor from taking his Office is
Mr. Bulkeley, who insists upon holding on
to the Office until the legislature reaches an
agreement as TO who is governor. The
governor Of New York has refused to
recognize him as governor, and the con-
troller Of Connecticut has refused to pay
him any salary. He regards himself as
hero and martyr, but the majority OF the
people Of Connecticut regard him with feel
ings akin to contempt. He appears TO labor
under the impression that the democrats
snd republicans will fail to settle the trouble,
aud that he will be permitted to occupy the
governors office for another term.
There is a probability that the dispute as
to who is governor will get into the courts
without the assistance of the legislature
Mr.. Buckley has issued requisition to the
governor of Pennsylvania for a man arrest
ed in that state and wanted in Connecticut.
The attorney for the alleged criminal de-
clares that if the requisition is honored he
will sue out writ of habeas corpus on the
ground that Mr.. Buckley is not governor
o. Connecticut. and hence has no authority
to issue reputation.
The democrats of Connecticut are the
victims of great outrage. They fought a
fair fight and won at the last election. and
the republicans for over two months have
been trying to steal from them the fruits of
their victory. The people of Connecticut
have had their eyes opened to the unscru-
pnlous character of the Republican party,
and the chances are that that party will
never win another victory in that state.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28
Reaching Down Into His Boots.

"Absinthe drinking" said the bartender to
the New York Recorder, as he scraped his
thumb nail across the coat of frost on the
shaker, lis on the increase in New York Men
about town have got an idea in their heads that
it is builder up of the intellect What's this
one of my customers says about it, On, yes 1
remember now. | had to write it down so 1
wouldn't forget it,"
This is what the bartender had written:
20, glorious abSinthe Grand governor of
the brain. When the understanding of man is
wallowing in the depths of unthinkableness
thou art abe to reach down with arms of
strength, seize reason and place her firmly on
the pedestal of thought. Twice glorious alb
sinthe!"
II amt quite sure about the first o. that. -
said the bartender, but sorter catch onto the
last. He means that absinthe wakes UP like
and clears your ideas. Isn't that itS Well
maybe he's right, and again, maybe he's
wrong. It amt my business to tell folks what
to drink, but, as far as am concerned myself
I'm not doing much reaching into my boots to
find my brains with absinthe. No, sir. A little
old cocktail is good enough for me. What did
you say, sir one absinthe? Yes, sir. Great
drink that"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

Each of the opposing Irish leaders ap-
pears to be afraid to trust the other. Those
threatened designations of Parnell and
Healy are not forthcoming. Like two boys
bautering one another TO jump off a cliff,
each wants the other 20 jump first and
either is afraid to jump for fear he will hurt
himself and the other will not follow,
Leader Parnen now says that he will not
resign until Mr.. Healy has tried his luck for
reelection. In that way Mr.. Parnell
would be virtually trying his own luck at
Mr.. Healy's expense. Politics is a sharp
Pama.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

Texas proudly announces that she does
net want any sugar bounty from the Nc
kinley bill or any other bill. AS a
sovereign state she is unwilling to submit
her state sugar industry to the supervision
OF an inspector deriving his authority from
any other source than the state administra-
ton. This position enunciated by the
governor Of the state declares condition
of Independence that only so magnificent
commonwealth as Texas can maintain.
With her vastly diversified interests and
industries she is apparently absolutely indie
pendent of external influences.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

Soon after the last congress adjourned
Representative Cannon set to work to make
out a statement which should act in the
capacity of an apology for the almost
fabulous appropriations made by that body.
1t now appears that all the time and care he
bestowed upon this computation did not
prevent his figures from webbing about.
Close comparison of them with the records
shows that Mr.. Cannon has amputated at
least 800, 100000 from the aggregate. But
that will not deceive the public.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

When that South Carolina negro accepted
the alternative of receiving 500 lashes on
his bare back as punishment for atrocious
assault rather than leave the state, he man.
Tested degree of fondness for the locality
that few republican newspapers would have
accredited any negro with. Should he ever
recover from the flashing he will probably
be much better negro and a more credit
able citizen to the state he loves so we'll.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-28

Illinois has very peculiar election law
which prohibits an employer from discharg-
ing an employee for absence while engaged
in work connected with an election. Such
a law assumes rather arbitrary control over
private business, and the constitutionality
OF it is now undergoing judicial test in
Chicago. 1t does not seem reasonable that
the election law should prescribe the condi-
tions upon which man shall discharge his
emploYeS