Telegram-herald., 1891-11-15
NEN Or COLOSSAL GALL
Who Exc Out an Existence on
Others Misery.
SHYSIER LAWYERS AND THEIR TRICKS
Hsw the Jasxpsrisassd and Uassphisti-
Gated Are Flsecsd BY the vuitarss
Vino swarm About the TribcnAls
Of Justice-un IrstAs.

uals who loiter lazly in the seats on
the inside of the railing Did you ever
pay particular attention to tnemy Ii
SO you observed them setting there.
Court usually opens in tho morning
about nine o'clock. At that hour. on
ordinary occasions, there 10 nothing OF
interest to call out spectators. Long
before the judge puts in an appearance
a number of persons may he seen max
ing their bow to the janitor aud COM
planning because the room is cold.
They are well acquainted with one
another. Some shake hands and
others simply exchange the courtesies
Of the day. They monopohze the most
convenient chairs and for awhile ex-
change the new jokes acquired the
night before. They have singular
"I've-seen -better-days" aspect about
them, and an assumed dignltied bear
ing which fits them as loosely as their
Prince Albert coats. "Has-been" or
"would,be" is plainly written upon
their exterors.
They slide down in their seats until
their heads rest on the back OF the
chairs. They borrow chew OF tohac-
co from policeman who unfortunate
ly happens in with some duty TO per
form. For a time contentment perches
in their midst. The dust on the ragged
| carpet is converted into mud by volu-
minous expectorations of juice brewed
from the filthy weed. One or two OF
them carry umbrellas. but 70 give clear
titles to them would be an utter impos-
siblity. The braid on their coats is
worn, the elbows shiny, and the gar
ment faded everywhere except under
the collar. Ia the past clean collars
have been known to adorn their necks,
but not lately.
"WhO are these men,"
They belong to . class known rs
shyster lawyers.
To be shyster one must have lost all
sense of modesty and In a measure de-
parted with honest scruples. The can
didate must cultivate hard, cold, de-
lloerate gall" His "cheek" must be
his predomlnating characteristic. Abil-
ity is not an essential qualification, In
fact, it is rather a detriment. This
must be true, because the most success
full shyster does not possess that other
wise desirable commodity. The tactics
pursued by this pettifogger is simple
enough. The first thing IN the morn
ing the newspa pers are read and a
memorandum made of all persons ar
rested during the previous evening.
On the list there may be several drunks,
couple of disorderlies, one or two
who have committed q breach of the
of assault and battery hanging
n u m ~
of for larceny, robbery, attempting to
kill wife, kse ping saloon open after
hours, and other little offenses. The
court officer 10 heard ascending the
stairway leading into the prisoners
pen, and soon men and women, with
bleary eyes, "some in silk aud some IN
rags" some with big heads and some
with ''jags," file in and take seats upon
| the wooden benches. Now, If ever, is
the shyster's chance. Like vultures
swooplng down upon the decaying car
| cass of dead horse, they pounce upon
their victims.
There Is neatly dressed young man
in tho corner, who has shrunk back
| from sight. He looks as If he was
| up" for the first time, also as II his
'spree" had not wholly depleted his
"cash on h md"
"My dear FRIEND" sympathetically,
half mournfuliy, pipes the king shy
ster, al am grieved 10 observe you IN
this direiul plight. Think OF your low
iug mother at home, your sisters, your
| grey-haired father, and perhaps you
are trusted lover of some pure. con-
| fiding maiden whose heart would break
| to learn of this. ] am interested in
you. / can not tell why. but surely
something can he done TO rescue you
| from being disgiaced for life-your
| hitherto fair name ruined forever.
Just think Discharged by your EN-.
ployer, turned adrift into the world
with a stigma of having been convicted
of drunkenness in a police court. Gaze
upon the dark negative OF such fu-
ture and then decide whether or not
you want the picture struck. But
| there is one hope. (Whispcriug.) How
| much money have you7 Fourteen
dolloars and seventy-five rents Good.
Ii you want TO save yourself engage
me 10 defend you. give me the money,
| your name. plead not guilty when you
are xrraigned, and | will clear you
of the charge. You will walk out Of
this room with your reputation spot-
less. Your friends will think grave
injustice has been perpstrated and
| you arc saved"
The young man has been thinking
| HIS senses have been stimulated. HIS
face brightens up, and in q cracked.
parched voice he family says. "Thauk
you. / was thinking that my every
friend had deserted me, bat nov, when
| sm tottering on the brink of despair,
friend indeed comes TO me in nv
need. IL you only will help me out of
this ! shall be your everlasting bsbior.
Take this sum. Use IT ~ your dIscre-
ton Dictates"
Over goes the fI4.75. The neyt in
slant the bailltf sings out. "Wiilse sim.
| piefou." The youth staggers To hls
feet. places his hand to his head, stanJf
still until the vhirlins sensation hss left
HIM. and then places himself ia front
OF the esr of the court.
"Ycu are charged on complaint OF
| Captain Johnson with hsying been IN
| toxicated ard disorderiy upon the
streets Of the city OF Grand Rapids.
against the peace and the dignity Of
tie people 81 the state OF Michigan.
reads the clerk. DO yoa piesd gaIlty
OF not guilty"
Nur the shyster gets in he work
eff the court piess~. | sppesr for tt1s
respondent We plead net guilty snd
! demand . trial"
lie iranstsrisl % the iudgs ss the
cuipfit vii ~ the eas be forced % psv
the costs. The ofticef uss<snx the ~
| :. a ss~orn ard tesfst0s sinple try
I Tk~ 49, an ~ssraxs fa~ sha d ftfsH