The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-08-20
WIT AND HUMOR.

Is the Cherokee Strip decollete ter
ritory p Washington Star.
Shoulder TO Shoulder-''How much
higher are you going before the craze
subsidies ?n-Puck.
The young couple who are in love
have a pressing engagement almost
every ght.-DatlaS Net0s.
The older man grows the wiser he
usually becomes. unless he happens to
marry a young wife.-N \. Recorder.
What is practical charity?" is asked.
Practical charity is the kind that some
other man dispenses.--N I. AdUer-
tiSer.
Didn't get no pwize climbin' de
creased pole. did We, Eph?" No; but
| got bout poun' o tofable lard. =
Harper's Bazar.
The glory of the cannon-cracker IS
but for moment. but the burned
thumb endureth for many days.
dianapoiis Journal.
Stavlate-"Yaas, when was at New
port | was on the 90 all the time" Miss
Bored-'How you have changed since
henn'-BoSton NetcS.
1t is painfully astonishing how the
soft yellow gold in Il sweethearts hair
gets mixed into peculiarly red alloy
in wife's hair Washington Star.
One half of the world does not know
how the other half lives-not IN many
cases would the former half be willing
to have it known how it lives. Life.
Leaflard But you painted my
wife's mouth openr' Van Daub-
Exactly. You particularly requested
a speaking likeness.-N. \. Telegram.
Revivalist-"Y Young lady which road
will you elect. this night. to followP
Young Lady (blushing) Il I'd
rather prefer the bridal path. " I.
Herald.
If the man who crosses his legs when
he sits in street car could be put up
on his mettle you would find that it
consists largely of pig iron.-N 7. Re
c0r1er.
Some one asks What is the hardest
thing in the world TO keep" It's a
toss-up, between s. bill that has been
broken and the pledge.-N Y. Re.
corder.
"How did Wall street get its 2k:ne.
There's no wall there" yes. there
is. went to it month after / began
to speculate. "-Smih, Gray Dc Cos
Monthly.
After you have fallen into pit you
begin to hear from your friends of the
many paths you might have taken that
would have led you safely around it,
AtchtS0n Globe.
Uncle TreetOp-'1 heard that your
son was out West coming money"
Heigh seed-'He was until the govern
ment competition got to strong for
him" IN. Y. Herald.
Where shall you spend your vaca-
tion?" 1--we half a notion to take a
trip to the place of endless spring"
Where is that-Los Angeles or Water
bury?"- indianapolis Journal.
us that wire screen there to prevent
people from breaking into the bank?"
No; that is to prevent the bank
officers from breaking out and run.
ming away with the money."-N T.
Press.
"a derby" said the halter to Gus
toner, lis cross between felt and
plug; and when the hat got out of
shape in the very first rain he felt cross
enough to plug the hatter.-Ieras
SyttngS.
A stranger in great city can find
in fifteen minutes a gambling-house
that policemen on beat never finds.
1t shows how much smarter than q
peeler jay may be.-Ne0 Orleans
PicayuRe.
Watts-"At what age would you say
woman ceases TO be fascinating?'
Potts" Before | answer that question
tell me how young Il boy l am allowed
to consider in the case?n-Iadianap0liS
Journal.
Il can stand a joke with due for
bearancc, remarked the man whom the
train-bo was pelting with literature,
''out I'll be hanged if like to have fun
poked at me in this fashion. y Wash
t1gtOn Post.
She (fshing for complmenD DO
you think my voice needs cultivatio n?n
He (anXious to pay her a complimenD
Mot at all, not ut all. Cultivation
couldn't improve a voice like yours"
N. Y Press.
Squeers Cat the circus) Look at
Pennibs! Sec how he starts every
time the ringmaster tlourishes his
horsewhipm Nickleby-"Yes;P ennibs
used to edit a society paper. you know"
Boston Meas.
kicks-''So you think the ministers
practice what they preach?" Hicks
why, yes; they preach sermons. and
if you lived near one you could hear
him practicing it week beforehand"
-Lo,ceU Citizen.
Briggs-"'You know that old suit of
mine? l sold it for so today
Griggs How nice" Briggs
at all. / had to take the money and
make the first payment On my tailor's
bill. - l0ttter and Fai7uisher.
Your son, | hear, is becoming an
excellent landscape painter" He is"
"Does he initiate nature well?n "Imi-
tate nature! He beats nature He can
put colors into a landscape that nature
never dreamed of. N y Press.
Now, there goes a woman whose
chin plainly shows tirmness.n You
are wrong. There is nothing firm
about that woman's chin. 1t oscillates
on the slightest provocation. happen
TO know her."-Iadianapolis Journal.
Justice is the Goddess of Music,
isn't she!' asked one Congressman of
another Certainly not; what made
you ask such Il question: We'll, she
is commonly supposed to run the
scales, you know. - Washington Post.
That was very sad about Pimp-
leigh. He died of nicotine poisoning
the other day" Yes, so 1 heard. The
doctors held an autopsy on the re-
mains. They found his stomach and
intestines lined with cigarette pictures.
N. Y. Telegram.
Hostetter McGinnis-"I assure Won.
Miss Esmeralda, that the moonlight in
South America is so bright that l have