The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-10-27
THE "ARIzoNA KICKER"
There Is No Monotony in Western Ed
torial Life.

OOA'N0 ~ SAANS ~ AAoNA1 AACSN NSPPCG1O U
in Gulchtown soliciting subscriptions
to the Kicker and claiming to be oul
agricultural editor. This trick has beer
played on us half a dozen times within
a year. And when we heard of Thu
chap we mounted our mule and can
tered over to interview him. We
found him just as he had bagged hi.
eleventh subscriber and was ready tC
get out.
What followed may not be recorded
in future history, but it was lively
while it lasted.
The bold faced impos or was Of
squatty build, weighed 200 pounds and
had been eating Limburger cheese. He.
therefore. had a shade the best of it or
the go off, but we rounded him uE
after getting our second wind, and he
won't travel on our shape hereafter.
He's got through taking subscriptions
fOru us, and six months hence when able
to crawl out again, he'll probably look
for honest work. We employ no
travelling agents, give away no ChrO-
mos, and we don't take stomach bit
ters IN payment for advertising.
COLD FACTS, We notice that our
esteemed contemporary is advertising
for a political editor, lone thoroughly
posted on the politics of the day" To
such a one he promises a seady situa-
ton at good pay. We dearly love the
old mOssback who claims to own and
publish the alleged weekly down street,
but when he attempts to deceive the
public we feel it duty to state a few
cold facts.
In the first place he has only 331
subscribers. Secondly, our people don't
are a copper for politics. Thirdly, he
has to pay his hand in store orders, and
his pOlitica editor would starve to death
in two weeks. He got a young man
from Boston out here last summer,
borrowed the s. he had left, sto5e his
s~uspenders, embezzled his white shirt,
and then discharged him. The lone
some appearance of that young and
cOntiding man as has tarted on his
1000 mile walk will never be effaced
from u memory.
TOLD HIM sO.-Nearly three months
ago we told Judge Wakefield, who
dropped in here from Missouri, that
he hadn't struck the right town and
ought to keep walking. We didn't
feel hard because he didn't subscribe
for the Kicker. but the way he wore
his elbows out on the various bars and
his firm attitude before free lunch
counters was agin him. He also made
himself very dIsagreeable in other
ways, and our advice was given in a
brOtherly way. He refused to heed it,
however. and the other night the boys
put a rope necktie on him anG pulled
him up and let hi Il down until he ex-
pressed the greatest willingness to
on. He will probably have a
sore throat all winter, but he can
console himself that it is no worse.
We watch things pretty closely in
this town, and we never fail to catch
the drift of public opinion. When we
come out in loaded BREWER and advise
a man to look for another pasture
there's nothing funny about it. It's
a very serious business, and the rope
is hanging on a peg behind us.
All. THERE, COLONEL!-Last week
we had something to say about Col.
jim Croker, who is furnishing a big
stock of poor whiskey while waiting
to be nominated for some political
office, The Colonel believes in "pap.'
He's always lived on it, and he'd st lrve
without it. We simply asked our read
ers if he was honest, capable, and sc
on, and the Colonel got riled over it.
There's no doubt in u mind that he
got Hank Scott, the half breed, tight,
and then gave him a key of powder tC
blow up the kicker office. We have
it from a man who overheard part OF
the conversation. Hank was willing
enough to blow us sky-high, for we've
had his left a among u office relics
for the last year. The trouble, how.
ever, was that he was too drunk tC
carry out the programme, and in fool
I'M around with the powder he brought
about an explosion on the vacant lot
next west of our office, and sailed way
to the unknown land in sections and
fragments.
What we could find Of Hank we
buried next day at our own expense,
and we don't feel particularly hard
against the Colonel. We shan't &C
looking for him especially, but if we