davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-04-03
Unhecominr an Officer.

Sergeant-You are charged with con-
duct unbecoming an officer.
New Policeman-In what respect?
Sergeant-You have been in the habit
of taking nuts and fruit from the street
stands kept by old men and helpless
women.
New Policeman-But pay for them
always.
Sergeant-Yes; that's the substance
of the complaint. -Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-04-03
FOR FATHERS SAKE.
q. Little Hero Who Gave His Life
for Others.
gOIney Beckner, Aged Twelve, Rescues
His Father and a Drowning Passenger
from the Cruel, Relentless Jaws
of Monster Shark.
OLNEY BECK

OLN II I BLUM
NER, who was
born in 174S, at
Londonderry, u
town famous in
history, was the
son of a common
sailor. AS such
he received no
e d IL C a i o n a
training beyond
t h Il t w h i C h
would e;.able
him to follow in
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-04-03

Mr.. Bingo-We may as we'll talk over
over this question of getting the house
painted.
Mrs. Bingo-Brt, my dear, it doesn't
need to be painted for at least a year
yet
Mr.. Bingo-True. But you have got
to decide what color you want--Mun-
sey's Weekly.
Paying the Piper.-Inquiring boy
cooking up from boolS)-''What does
paying the piper mean?" Worried
Father (absently)-"Tell him to call
next week 81 said the. piper pa"
"Well, if it's plumber, he needn't call
for month. Good News.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15

Reynolds; Past Noble Commander, w. H. Pope;
Worthy Prelate, j. HI. A. Fowler. A committee
consisting of Sir Knights M. L. Venable, David
Cranmer, and j. III. A. Fowler was appointed to
draft resolutions expressing the sorrow of the
commandery on the death of the late Sir Knight
William H. Stuard. Grand Commander Ehle,
Sir Knights Venable, Fowler, and others made
remarks eulogstic of the life and character of
the deceased.
Columbia Commandery at its last meeting
conferred the degrees on Miss Virginia r.
White, Mrs. Eligabeth Logan, Mrs. Lucy L..
Cruit, and James Austin. The initiating officers
were Noble Commander, DIR. j. A. Dickinson;
Vice Noble Commander, j. E. Crandell; Past
Noble Commander, Rev. DIR. Cornelius; Worthy
Prelate, e. Q. Gunson. Deputy Grand Com
mander George F. E. Streiby installed Sir
Knight Charles E. Lewis in the Office of Past
Noble Commander Sir Knights Farnham,
Talley, and Lady Strictly were appointed COM
mittee to draft resolutions expressing the sor-
row of the commandery on the death Of Sir
Knight George T. Dykes. Rev. DR.. Cornelius,
Lady Hattie P. Dickinson, and Lady Jessie NJ.
Blair were appointed a committee to purchase
an organ. Sir Knight Streiby introduced a re-
solution, which was adopted directing the re-
preventative to the Grand Commandery to urge
the adoption of alaw requiring that part of the
obligation of the 1st degree touching the SUBJ
| Ject of temperance to be printed in full on the
application for membership.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
Golden Gross Notes.

National Commandery meets tomorrow
evening at Potomac Hall, and will confer the
degrees on nine candidates.
Hacyon Comnandery meets on Friday even
ing at Golden Cross Hall, and will confer the
degrees on two candidates.
st. Johns Commandery meets on Thursday
evening at Washington Hall, and will confer
the degrees on one candidate
Anacostia Commandery meets on Wednesday
evening at Masonic Hall, Anaeostia, and will
confer the degrees on three candidates.
At the last regular meeting of Goodwill Com
mandery Treasurer Frank G. Severance re-
ported that he had paid to the widow of the late
w. e. Childs the amount of the benefit certih-
decided to give an entertainment on Monday
evening, March 30.
At the regular meeting of Capital Command
cry on Friday evening the 1st and I'd degrees
were conferred on Frank K. Newton, Mrs
Elizabeth j. Hamilton, and Miss NJ Louise
Breedin. Grand Commander Ehle made an ad-
dress on the duties of officers and members
toward sick members. Remarks were also
made by Sir Knight M. l.. Venable, OF Mount
Vernon Commandery, and Sir Knights s. N.
Hilton, Dr. X. Kingsman, j. b. Diver, Lady
Martha j. Peabody and others. Noble Com
mander j. A. Dickinson, of Columbia Com
mandery, was present
Mount Vernon CommaDdery at its last meet
ing conferred the degrees on Mrs, Sarah A.
Watkins and Mrs Emma v Street The initi-
ating officers were Noble Commander, Miss
Emma V. Dulin; Vice Noble Commander, Mrs
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
Independent Order ofRechabites.

"a. NJ. Dewey, II. G. R.)
West End Tent is to take the place of Western
No. 165 in the near future.
The Eagle Juniors are arranging for an
encampment during the summer in the vicinity
of Clifton Beach.
Eagle Tent No. 2, the old veteran, is keep
ing up her end in the new departure initiating
good subjects at every meeting.
The Friendship Juniors, assisted by the
Eagle Junior ''initiatory team,'' initiated two
candidates at the last meeting in commendable
style.
High Secretary Treasurer L. H. Patterson has
during the past two weeks sent supplies for
tents to New York, Pennsylvania, West Vir-
ginia, Ohio, and Illinois
The Eagle and Friendship Juniors, having se-
cured their handsome emblematic pin-bAdges
are now arranging for appropriate uniforms for
drill and parade purposes.
Friendship Tent No. 73 at its last meeting
had spirited debate on the high-license ques-
tion, among those participating being High
Chief Ruler A. M. Dewey, High Secretary
Treasurer l.. III. Patterson, Grand Chief Ruler j.
j. Murray, Past Grand Chief Ruler &. s. Wood
ford, Grand Representative j. L. Wright, and
Bros M. E. Bryne, William Allison, and j. r.
Risdon.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15

Vile, Va. Brethren of sister lodges are always
most welcome to the sessions of this lodge.
AT the meeting of Goodwill Lodge No. Ii
Mr.. L. E. Morgal and Ernest Heitmuller re-
ceived the 1st degree and were electedto receive
the I'd degree. A. Dingleman received the
Masters degree. Past Masters Tebbs and Fuse
entertained the lodge with selections on the
guitar and banjo. Visitors present: Senior
Grand Architect 7. H. Watson and Grand 1. s.
j. A. Hall, of Anchor No. O.; Grand Cond. E. f.
Meyer, of No. z; Grand Architect r. B. Wilson,
Past Master G. II. Scott, and Junior Master f.
O'Brien, Of Lafayette No. 13. They were all
loud in praise of the manner in which the new
team conferred the degrees.
,.Headqqarters for Edwin Clapp's fine shoes.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
Independent Order of Rechabites

tt. u. De1Oe, III. y. IL.
Heber Tent No. II (Junior) was organized
Monday night.
Cammack Tent No. SO initiated two members
Tuesday evening.
Union Tent No. Is (Junior) initiated five boys
Wednesday evening.
Washington Tent No. initiated two candi-
dates Saturday night.
Capitol Tent No. 16 (Junior) added six to
their membership Thursday night.
jeremiah Commandery No. 1, knights of
Rechab initiated three candidates Saturday
evening.
Rescue Tent No. 6 initiated four members
Tuesday night and conferred the I'd degree on
six others.
Anacostia Tent No. 1873 Initiated six candi-
dates Tuesday nighl. This runs their member
ship up to 116.
Grand Chief Ruler j. G. Lee will speak In
Clabaugh Hall tonight, and his daughter, Miss
Josie, will recite.
Union Tent No. 81 had visitors present from
Anacostia Tent No. 1873 ana Columbia Tent No.
wednesday evening.
Since the High Tent session in Hagerstown
the order has increased to fifteen tents gain
of seven, and the membership has been doubled
Covenant Tent No. (Ladies) added four to
their membership Thursday night Many visi-
tors were present from Naomi Tent No. 8,
(Ladies.)
Naomi Tent No. 8 (Ladies) initiated two
ladies and one gentleman Wednesday evening.
Miss Alice Hostetter was elected Shepherd to
fill vacancy.
George G. Thompson Tent No. 3 had a
pleasant good Of the order Thursday night.
Grand Deputy Ruler j. q. Eller Grand Tent
Representative Job Harris, and Others made re-
marks.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
Gatarrl1 Cured, ,
ONE CENT?
WHY DO Y0W MESlTATE2 if vou

WHY DO Y0U HESITATE? If you a Sufferer from
that Loathsome Disease Gatarrh any of its FORMS your
duty yourself and family obtain the of certain
before It'll late Iou easily Of one cent
for postal card by sending your and address Prof j. A.
Lawrence New York. who will send you FREE, by
mall of the original recipe for preparing the best and
surest remedy ever discovered for the of Caarr
all its various stages Over million of this dreadful
disgusting and otenmes fatal disease have been cured permanently
during the veyears of this medicine Write to-day
for this FREE recipe It's timely may you from the death
tolls of Consumption DO NOT DELAY longer you desire
speedy and permanent Address,
Prof. j. A. LAWRENCE SO Warren Street. New York.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15

The following Masonic bodies meet upon the
evenings of the ensuing week:
Subordinate Lodges. - Masonic Temple -
Benjamin b. French No. Is, Monday, 10th; Pen
talpha No. %, Monday, 10th; National No. IL,
Tuesday, 18th; Washington Centennial No. ID,
Wednesday, 18th; La Fayette No. 10, Thurs
Ssy, 10Th: lebanon No. Z, Friday, Goth.
A. a. S. Il. Sanctuary, 1907 g street-Cathe-
dEal: Osiris No. 26, Wednesday, 18th. Blue
Room; Columbia No. 3, Wednesday, 18th.
Masonic Hall, observation-disclosures No. s,
Monday, 10th.
Masonic Hall, Virginia avenue southeast
Naval No. 4, Thursday, 10 b.
Masonic Hall, Nineteenth street and Pennsyl-
vania avenue-Hiram No. 10, Friday, Goth.
Masonic Hall, Uniontown-Anacostia No. 81,
Monday, 10th.
Royal Arch Chapters Temple-La
Fayette No. 5, Tuesday, 18th.
Masonic Hall, Nineteenth street and Pennsyl-
vania avenue-Mount Horeb No. Z, Thurs
day, 10Th.
Masonic Hall, Navy Yard-Naval No. 6,
Tuesday, 18th.
COMMUNICATES Knights Templar. = Masonic
Temple-Columba No. 2, Friday, both.
Masonic Hall, Georgetown-Potomac No. 3,
Wednesday, 18th.
4Ancicnt d;,d accepted Scottish Rhe.-Sanctu
ary, 1907 G street-Mithras Lodge of Perfection,
Tuesday, 18th
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15

Headquarters for Edwin Clapp's fine shoes.
National Hotel Shoe Store.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
Independent order Mechanics.

AT Anchor Lodge No G. G. Thompson was
reported well and attending to business. L. H.
HOFFMAN and c. g. Heard were initiated into
the mysteries Of the Apprentice degree. The
committee on pilgrimage to Baltimore for the
purpose OF paying Centennial Lodge No. 80 a
fraternal visit reported progress. Among the
visitors were Grand Conductor e. f. Meyer and
Deputy d. G. Architect Butler, of Charlottes-
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-03-15
THE NEWS OF THE LODGES.
MANY MATTERS OF GREAT INTEREST
TO FRATERNITY MEN,

Preparations for the Coming Shrine Seance
Masonic Personals-What the Recha-
bites Are Doing-Notes of the Order of
Mechanics and Golden Cross.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
essra
"JEsT ABor ED TREE MILES AND

"JEsT ABor ED TREE MILES AND A nALF."
you, but you SEQ have given You n
generous warning. Now tell mo how
far it is to INLAND"
my friend" said Mr.. W,thcrs, 81
toatcf the chain for tho county surveyor
the other day, and run off the distance
from right here to INLAND, and we
found 1t 10 BIO exactly three miles and q
half"
Dillon wiped tho pcrspirntlon from
his brow and said: ~ Will give you one
moro chance SO TINT In after years you
will not hold me up In cxecration. Cut
off that extra half milo and will let
you pursue your way In peace"
II would like to accommodate You,
mister, but times air too hard. I can't
cut down the appropriation ono inch"
"All right; you've got mo to whip"
Dillon took off his coat, tho only do
centloolsing garment he had, laid It
down, and jumped into tho country
road Mr.. Withers was exceedingly
tall; Dillon looked like n jack screw.
They eyed each other for moment md
then began to flirt about on the out
skirts of danger, but pretty soon they
went ut 1T In earnest. An express train
roarcd past, but they regarded it not.
billions idea, could sec, was to butt
Withcrs into n fence corner and then
jam his life out ut his earliest con-
veniencc, and Mt ono tiine his prospects
were good, but suddenly the long fell
low caught Dillon undeS Tho chin with
one hand. while almost simultaneously
ne hit him blow with the other hand
and spread his nose all ovAr his facial
expression. When Dillon got up With
ers was slowly riding dozen tho road,
singing come all yc" song.
My friend did not speak until he
climbed upon the railroad track. Then
he threw up his hands and exclaimed:
"Unmcrciful heavens" The express
train had cut his coat In two.
Op1E =. READ.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
BUILDING ASSOCIATIONS.
The Iron Belt Building and Loan
Association
OF ROANOKE, VIRGINIA.
AUTHORIZED CAPITAL, ss5, 900, 900.
OFFICERS:
July S-tf

PREsIDENT-GEN. FITZHUGH LEE,
Ex-Governor of Virginia.
1sT VICE-PREsDENT - PEYTON L..
TERRY, President Roanoke Trust,
Loan and Safe Deposit Co.
Cd VICE PREsIDENT-S. W. JAMESON,
Secretary and treasurer Roanoke
Trust, Loan and Safe Deposit Co.
SEcRETARY-JOHN OFT, late Cashier
City Bank OF Richmond.
TREAsURER-J. C. DAVENPORT, Cash
Ter Commercial National Bank, Roa-
noke, Va.
GENERAL CoUNsEL-Hon. G. A. Nc.
HUGH, Counsellor-at-Law, late OF
Charleston, s. G.
GENERAL MANAGER OF AoENcrEs-D
B. JESSE, late of Lexington, KY.
GENERAL TRUsTEE-HoN. HENRY S..
TROUT, President First National
Bank, Roanoke, Va.
DESIGNATED DEPOSITORY = Roanoke
Trust, Loan and Safe Deposit Company.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
is I-2 MILES TO INLAND.
IAN Amusing Story on "Hoofina It '
In the South.
Hhe Failure OF Newspaper Starts Two
eJournalists" on tho Road-The DIS
tnncc Could Not De Reduced
By Even an Inch.
TccPYRrcur. 1911

The year 1876 was notable GRO tn
America, being the birth period of two
great events, the opening of the centen-
NAL at Philadelphia and the starting
and suspension of the Evening Mail ut
Nashville, Tenn. The world may not
regard the birth and death of that news
paper as in the least historical, but
do, and the world must not deny
my right to hold certain opin-
Ions. Ten newspaper men-or rather
ten "journalists"-inclu myself,
put in all the money they could borrow
anu brought out the first issue of that
fearless newspaper; and until num-
Der of notes fell due, it showed many
signs Of prosperity. Aside from its
financial condition, there was but one
trouble: Nearly every man wanted to
sit in the office and write editorials.
remember that one afternoon we had
twenty columns of editorial and the
t.writeup" of brewery. Well, after,
I'VE spent all the money we had and q
large sum that we didn't have, the nm
nettered agent of court came around
and said that as we had been worrying
"a great deal of late we might go away
somewhere, it made no difference to
him, and rest. don't know where tho;
other journalists" went but an edi-'
torial writer named Bud Dillon and
started in the presumable direction Of
Memphis, city nearly three hundred
miles distant. We had no particular
business in that town. but us we had no
money, we resolved to go thithcr and
start another newspaper.
p One afternoon, after an early start of,
morning and persistent pull all day.
I'VE were stretching Qpr legs for town
called INLAND. We had been told that
q paper published there had been
awarded the delinquent tax list of tho,
county, and that the editor was in need
Pf printers to put it In type; and,
being compositors as well as "jour-
nalists," we saw chance to ease up
our down-trodden condition. In ap-
preaching town we had learned to
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Not Il Teasar.

Aunt Fanny-Don't You believe,
Emmy. TINT God answers little girls
prayers2
Emmy Is. S. Scholar. aged seven)-
Yes, 1 know 1t.
Aunt Fanny-And do you soy your
prayers every night?
Enmy-No, Aunt Fanny. hate
people who, the more they got, tho
moro they want.-Lifo.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
SUR, to Turn Up.

Slirnpurse-What are you doing IN
tits outlandish ncighborhood?
MISUNDERSTANDING for something
to turn up.
club! Thcro won't anything turn up
hero"
Eyes, there WILL My landlord threat
ems to put me out tomorrow, so I've
been hunting for another place. I've
just got the refusal Of this miserable
shanty, and have sent for my wife to
come and look at 1t. The something I
expect to soc turn up Is her nose when
she scos it,"-N. Y. Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
SPREADS HIS NosE.s

THE LONG FELLOW SPREADS HIS NOSE
Hook for the courthouse dome, and had
oddly fancied that we could determine
Tby its appearance the worth to US Of the
place.
+ "That courthouse dome is a long time
PolSing itself into sight," said Dillon, as
I'VE reached the top of grade, which, q
moment before, had waved bcckoning
hope at us. Here comes q fellow. I'll
ask him how far it Is. Say, there" he
called, addressing an old man. chow far
IFS it to Mlland?"
"Three miles and half"
care you surc?"
the town is"
On we trudgcd with hope conferred on
the top of another grade, seemingly two
miles away. Another disappointment,
for when we reached the top Of Tho
grade we could sec only a long stretch
ct Level tract with q dirt road on one
side. A woman came along. sp",-'.'-.
'"How are you?" Dillon called.
"Howdy do"
"Do you live near here?"
eyes; live down yam about quarter
swell, do you know where INLAND is?''
'Oughter. I've been there often
enough"
"You are Christian woman, sup
pose?" "a
'T hope So"
"Wen, then, will you please consider
Afew moments SO as to divest your mind
Of all prejudices, and, remembering
your hope of reward hereafter, tell me
how far it is to Miland?"
81 kin tell you without goin' to all
That trouble" she answered. ''It's thrco
miles and half"
FOR some time, until Dillon finally re-
marked: ~ hope I shall never be COM
PEELED to strike woman"
We must have gone mile further
when IN old negro came along In o
wagon.
"Hold on minute" Dillon shouted
whoa, yerc. What you say, sah2'
H 81 said hold on"
:Wan, sab, dat's what Use doin'."
"Where do you livc?"
"Ovcr on de Morrison plan'ation.".
slow long hnvo you been living
fhere?"
mighty nigh ebcr sense dc wah."
slow do you stand in Your neighbor-
hood?"
"Fust-rate, sab, reckon, caze mint
meber yered no complaint"
<, Belong to the church, Isupposc?"
k-"Oh, vas sab, an breaches some
times, an I breaches nightly, I'll tell
you dat"
t ''What denomination?"
"Meferdis' in de heart, sab; Mefcrtlis'
way down the heart"
"And you think you'll go to Heaven, I
gupposc2'
ooh, yas, sab; Gaze dc Lord dun PROM
lsed me, an doan reckon he gwinc to
take 1t bacl1.''
'You wouldn't risk your chances of
Heaven merely.to tell lie, would you2''
p mo, sab, / wouldn't; think too
snuch o. dat crown up yander ter fool
wild de truf"
4'WclL then, want you to tell mo
how far 1t is to INLAND. Don't speak
before you think. Take your own time.
but tell me the truth"
"Yo' question is mighty easy an
Twcred, sab. Dis yere's dc Andrews
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

THREE MILES AND HALF TO INLAND.
me7" he asked after moments ST.
lence.
Eyes" said Dillon, IT would like to
ask you a few questions"
"All right, cut loose"
"What Is your name?'
''Sam NYithers."
elbow far do you live from fere?''
"About half"
"How do you stand IN tho ncighbor.
hood?"
Sometimes ON both feet and some
times on fust one an then luther"
"Wel, arc you regarded as truthful
man?"
"A1n't been called liar but onct In
goin' on SIX year; an then the Teller
that called me it soon recognized that
he had made n mistake"
, "Are you n brave man?'
: "Wall, I amt never caught no bull by
the tail and swung him round and
popped his horns off,"
"But If pushed you'd fight, I reckon"
eyes, an mout do q littlo bit of tho
pushin' myself"
"Now, SIR" said Dillon, IT am going
10 Oo PcrIccIly Ialr WITH you. hau
thought that would take advantage of
the next man met and spring n sur
prise on him, but as 1 rather like the
breeziness of your unfettered nature, I
will prepare you for what may como.
We have been walking MI day in IN ut
tempt to reach INLAND, but thus far
have failed For tho last fifteen miles
we have been told that INLAND was
three and n half miles down the road.
AT first was thankful, then became
skeptical and now am rcvengeful; and
I want to tell you right now that If you
don't shorten that distance I'll give You
the worst wanoping that white man
ever got"
Mr.. Withers, without replying, threw
his bride rein over tho end of conven-
lent fence rail and dismounted. Como
down often that railroad track" no
said, rolling up his sleeves.
"But hold on n minute, man, want
to give you chanco," Dillon replied
81 could have snapped a surprise on
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Astronomical Danger.

First Astronomer think that long
straight line we SEQ In the moon, and
which Is usually called the railroad"
should be given another name. Let's
call'it the highway, or the "aqueduct, {"
or something of that sort
Second Astronomcr-But why not
continue TO call it tho ''railroad?r
First Astronomer (whispering)-Im
afraid jay Gould will grab tn. Y.
Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Good WATER.

What sort OF drinking water do you
have in TcXas?" asked New Yorker Of
newlynrrivcd Texan.
First rate. II you put In whisky
enough, 1t will make as good toddy rs
any water ever drank" was tho can
did reply. Siftings.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Tho Honest AGENT

New Clork-That house you rented to
Mr.. and Mrs. Suburb has nothing but q
cistcrn. and that Is fifty feet from the
door. You told them there was water
In the house.
Suburban Agcnt-Thcro Is Collars
half full.-GOod News.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
|. INSTALLMENT STOCK.

!. INSTALLMENT STOCK. - Mem
bership fee, 81 per share, which carries
the stock the flrst month, after that the
monthly dues are so cents per share.
2. PAID UP INTEREST BEARING
STOCK.-S5O per share (par value, 5000,
yielding dividend, payable semi-an-
nually, January i, and July /, of 6 per
cont. per annum, which is duly RENTED
by check to the shareholder.
8. The stock is expected to mature In
seven years from date Of each series re-
spoctively, the same being issued
monthly.
4. There is no investment anywhere
safer or moro profitable than its stock.
With the assets OF the Association in
vested in frat mortgages on improved
town real estate, duly insured for tho
benefit of the Association, on a basis
not exceeding so per cent. Of its value.
as ascertaiped by appraisers who are
themselves stockholders of the Associ-
alton, while the debt OF the member
borrowing Is being curtailed every
month of it's existence, it is difficult to
conceive of safer investment than its
stock affords to the prudent investor.
Apply at Homo Office, ITO Jefferson
street, or to
JAMES r. TERRY, or to SIMMONS,
CARPENTER s. TINSLEY. Roanoke,
Va. apr10-1y
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30

Wife (pottishly)-If I cannot hnve q
village cart this summer, what can
have?
Husband Observation-Disclosures can
have the satisfaction of knowing that
Mrs. Puff next door can't hovo one
eithcr.-Munscys Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Too 1Iuoh Autorrnnh.

First Stonc-Cutter-Too bad about
Mike, amt it2 They took him to tho
'sylum this morning.
Second Stone-Cutter = What! Is he
crazy?
First Stono-Cuttcr-Crazy as loon
His boss took the contract for Gen
Spinner's monument and wanted Mike
to cut the generals autograph on it
,Judpe
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-09-30
Anomalous.

Studont-What's tho most peculiar
thing about your profession?
Doctor-Whon | have to charge ten
dollars day for treating n man whose
lifo isn't worth two cents.-Lifc,