davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing TO the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE KY NEW YORK nv
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
Royal Kisses.

When the royal family of England re-
ceived their royal relatives, the en-
peror and empress of Germany, they
kissed as affectionately as if they were
ordinary people. kissing is a notice
able feature of the reign of Victoria
the Good. And the custom is marked
by sad fact-the death of the Prin-
cess Alice, daughter of the queen, VINO
could not deny the request of her child
dying of diphtheria and kissed him, in
haliug the poison and dying herself in
a few days.-Detroit Free Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
-
. PITh AND POINT.

-"Miss Amanda, am over my ears
in love with your' Then can GER
tainly believe in the size of your lover
-Fliegende Blaetter
First Office Boy-''He's no newspa-
per man." Second Office Boy-"No?"
Nav; he's journalist. lie writes wild
gold penn. Y. Recorder.
Lady Customer--.'That pair of slip
pers bought of you a short time ago
have worn out" Clerlx-"Bad leather,
ma'am?' mo. bad boy. Dixie.
-Forewarned is Fourarmed. -"Why
in thunder didn't you girls tell me you
were both comingP A fellow can't han
die pair of horses with his teeth. -
Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
-Sdueers (at the circus)-"Look at
Pennibs! See how he starts every time
the ringrnaster fourishes his horse
whip! Nickleby-''Ge Pennibs used
to edit society paper, you know
Boston News.
An Unmeant Hint.-Miss Y. Trava-
CANT think the brooch you are wear
ing is one of the most beautiful Tyres l
have ever seen" Miss Sheye-"You
just ought to see the gentleman who
gave it to mer'-Jeweler's Weekly.
-Bowman-"How would you like to
go sailing on my yacht some day, Will
lie?" Willie-"No you don't. / heard
about that yacht" Bowman-''What
did you hear?" Willie-"Sister was
out in it two hours in a spanking
breeze. IN. Y. Herald.
Canca TO-. Dasoso,nn,
81 was in your furnisher's yesterday,
and he said he was anxious for that ten
dollars you owed him" Travers--
''What did you tell him?" Dashaway-
81 told him he ought to be thankful
that it wasn't any more. "-Clothier and
Furnisher.
Farmer ellison came down from up
country the other day and brought his
boy along to let him see the sights.
"Paw," said the lad, amazed at seeing
hearse horses trot, that amt a funer'l,
is it?' "Yes. tits; these city folks hev
to hurry like sixty to get man buried
fore the mourners furgit i'm. Detroit
Free Press.
The Egotism of Genius. Fond
Mother-"Don't you want to see the
evening papers, Mortimer" Minimus
Poet-''Why, is there anything about
me i'm them?" Fond Motherhood
that know of. darling" Minimus Poet
(pettishly)-''Good heavens, mother,
then what on earth should | want to
see them for?"-Punch.
Nearly every house has a skele-
ton in its closet, | suppose" said Mrs.
Hashem one day at dinner. Eyes, re-
piled Billy Blivcn, "and ] guess this
house might as well he getting closet
ready for my use" That is how it hap
pens that he received only two berries
for desert, while all the other boarders
were reveling in three. -Washington
Post.
Carrying Out a Principle.
continued the druggist, in an argument,
Il think it very unprincipled in the gas
company to charge more for the gas
used as light than for that consumed as
fuel. /, for one, am against such prin-
ciples. ! say let there be one price for
and to all and everything" Then, to
customer: And what is it you wish?"
Customer-''Id like one pound of car
away seed. How much is it?" Druggist
-"rhirty-fve cents, please" Customer
II have only "a quarter with me. It's
for the baker across the way" Drug
gist-"Oh, is that so? j only charge a
quarter to bakers. Thank you. Good
by!'-Pharmaceutical Era
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
NOT THE BRIDES FAULT.
Nobody sent for Her to 60 to Her Wed.
ding. and so She Waited.

Nobody sent for Her to 60 to Her We'd
ding, and so She Waited.
A curious incident happened at q
church wedding in this city the other
evening. II was society affair. and
at eight o'clock, the hour appointed
for the ceremony, the church was
crowded with guests. The minister
who was to ofiiciate was there. also the
groom, ushers and bridesmaids, but the
bride was not. Ten minutes after
eight - twenty minutes after eight,
still no bride appeared. The people in
the church were growing impatient.
Half-past eight, still no bride! The
groom was very anxious. Had her
courage failed her ut the last moment?
Had she ceased to love him aud eloped
with another man? Had her house
burned and she persisted in the fiames9
Had the carriage broken down and in
jured her?
These We're some of the questions
that ran through his mind. leaving
their Impress on his face. Eight thirty
FIVE. The bridesmaids bit their lips,
tugged nervously at their ribbons. and
unconsciously despoiled their bouquets.
Was she not coming? Vague rumors
ran through the audience, ana the min
lister himself. used to all sorts of curious
things at weddings, began to wonder.
A council of war was held, and il
was decided to send another carriage
after her post haste. Another! When
the facts became known no carriage at
all had been sent Tor her. During all
this time the driver supposed that the
ceremony had been in progress. In the
excitement the principal factor had
been forgotten. 1t is needless to say
that no time was lost in transporting
the bride to the altar, and at S:45, three
quarters of an hour late, the nuptial
knot was tied. and the belated bride
and the happy groom went on their
way.-Utica Observer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
NOVEL RAT TRAPS.
Five Milk Cans Capture 1853 Rats in One


Room.
There were five old milk cans in an
infrequently used storehouse connected
with grocery in the village of Avoca.
a few days ago two or three boys were
in the storehouse playing. They placed
the milk cans in "a row and amused
themselves for awhile by pitching ears
of corn at them, to see who could put
the most in a can. There were ears of
corn il each can when the boys quit
playing and left the stOrehouse. The
next day the proprietor of the store had
occasion to go into the storehouse. The
him. 1t was a ceaseless grating and
humping and squaling combined
He went to one of the milk cans and
looked into it. 1t was alive
with immense rats struggling
to get out Each one of
the five milk cans contained swarm
of rats. 1t was not until Willis learned
of the boys and the corn that he could
explain the presence of the rats in the
cans. The rats had jumped down into
the cans to get the corn, but it was i'm
possible for any one of them to get out
again. How to dispose of the enormous
number of rodents was at first puzzler
to the groceryman, but he finally hit
upon plan. He put the covers on the
cans and secured them, and rolled the
cans to the creek. Then opening the
lids just enough to let water run in the
cans, he filled each one, and drowned
the rats. When the cans were emptied,
the least number of rats in any can was
forty-one. There were one hundred and
fifty-three rats in all. When people
thereabout want to rid themselves of
rats, they know how to do it effectual-
ly.-N. Y. Sun.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
WHICH is THE FAvORITE2
The c., nj. & st. r. Ry. Takes the Persim-
mons.-A Prominent Railroad Offieial
Declares the VestibuIed Limited is
.snut nf Sfphf

was in the office of the Advisory Board
of the Northwestern Traffic Committee in
Chicago. the other day. A prominent Off
cial. well known in the Twin Cities for his
ability and geniality, was looking over the
pool sheet for June which clerk had just
made out.
There's quite traffic between Chicago
and the Twin Cities" the official remarked
as he produced a jay Gould FavOrita," a
high grade railroad cigar of the period,
land it's a constant source of wonder to me
how the Chicago, Milwaukee a. st. Paul
road maintains its lead in passenger traffic,
considering the immense competition.
just look at this pool sheet" he continued.
read 1.-THE minneapolis Paul Chicago
lines carried IL, 4O0 through passengers in
June. The advisory board after thor
ough examination of the reports fix the fol
lowing percentages:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
Crazx-CIofh scarfs-


There is material sold in the dry
goods stores called crazy-cloth, or cot
ton crepe. 1t comes in white, yellow,
pale blue, and pink. Any of these
shades can be used for scarfs to throw
over the back of chair, around pic
ture-frame or easel. or drapery for a
mantel. Cut the length you wish the
scarf to be-a yard and a half or two
yards-and hem it on all four sides
with hem an inch wide Above the
hem draw out four or five threads all
around. II you can draw well enough
draw in outline branch of leaves, or
get pattern stamped at some fancy
store. Outline over the drawing with
colored silk or cotton in color that
will look well with the color of the
cloth. The pattern need be only on one
end, but may be on both. II may be as
elaborate as you may care TO make it.
or a very simple design -Harper's
Young People.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

This is the woman's age" remarked
Mr.. Bisbee to his wife, as he read an
advanced paragraph in the evening
paper.
"Say woman's era, Mr.. Bisbee." ST :
gested his wife.
And why my dear?"
Because no woman likes to have
her age CONNIE nted on" was the con-
sistent answer.-Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

asked to what he attributed the fact
that the 'St. Paul" got more than one
quarter of the through travel between Chi
cago and the two big Minnesota towns.
'.There is only one reason after all, he
replied 9TH public prefer the G.. NJ. a
st. p. R'y because its management inspires
confidence; because its trains are the most
luxurious; because one may always rely
on getting to a given destination on time.
This is not the history of day, or a week.
or a month. but it is the regular thing As
you know, | got my training on a compel
ing road, but must a knowledge the corn :
The e., NJ 4 st. F. is first in the estimation
of the people Did you ever try their vesti-
buled limited train between Chicago and
ST. Paull If not, do so and you will under
stand the reason for that % per cent.
H. B. II.
Dou.roxx a,,d IIn+oI Na,,-s
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
The Professor Named VI.

class in natural history tried to fool
their teacher, so they put a woodpecl1-
er's bill on an owls head, topped it
with kingfisher's crest set this upon
a heron's neck and a quaii's body. added
pair of swallows wings. fastened on
one side hawks foot and claws. upon
the other side snipe's leg. then finally
stuck on pheasant's tail and sent the
specimen in to be named. The profess
sor said it was undoubtedly new spe-
cies. and he called it Trickus eongipm-
sratus- -tsolden DAYS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
An Oversight.

Customer-foolS here! | brought in
thirteen collars the other day and you
returned only seven. This is an out
rage.
Laundryman (proudly drawing him.
self upl-You evidently forget. sir.
that thirteen is an unlucl1y number
Judge
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
Railway and Hotel News.
The Fair Athenian-she was a Ro

The Fair Athenian-She was Bos-
ton blue-stocking. and he was sailor
rescuing her from the waves. Hold
on tight" he cried, between his breath.
"Say tightly" she murmured, while
the salt sea PLAYED hide-and-seek with
her gullet irst before they went down
for TIE third time.-Smith. Gray 81
Co Monthly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

Mrs. De Work. have trained my
eldest daughter into thorough house
keeper. There is nothing she does not
know.
Miss De Flight-What nice handy
maiden-aunt she win make for your
other daughters chii1reA-N. Y.
Weekly
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

The surest lamp to guide our Maynard feet,
is experience. 1t points to Hostetter
surest safeguard in cases of malarlal DIS
ease. whether in the form OF chills and
fever, bilious remittent, dumb ague or ague
cake The same guides indicate IL as SOW
ereign in constipation, rheumatism. ia
grippe" liver complaint, kidney trouble
and dyspepsia.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

The Date Had Been Fixed.-Coin
Dealer-"Now. here's rare old coin.
struck in Jerusalem, when the Jews
owned the city" Customer-'Butl look
at the date: 1879" Coin Dealer-"Ah.
but you see that means the year 1879
before Christ" (Fact) - Brooklyn
Eagle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
A Cow. Mother-Lore.

In pasture on farm in East Hart
ford, recently, one of the cows had a
calf which no one of the farm hands
was able TO find the day after it's birth.
A search proved failure until some
one suggested a novel scheme. 1t was
to bring dog into the lot, when, in all
probability, the cow would return to
her calf to defend it, The dog was
brought, and. sure enough, the COW
started for a clump of bushes, and
auIong them the calf was found, where
tie leaves had concealed it-Hartford
Courant.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

seedy Individual Ito Merchant who
has the reputation of being a generous
giver)-Pardon this intrusion. sir, but
is it not your wont to dispense
Merchant Gnterruptingl- Evidently
you have made a mistake in the place.
my friend. The dispensary is just
around the corner of the third street to
the right.-Chicago News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
THAT Circulating Engagement Ring

That Circulating Engagement hing
Again. -Miriam-'Horace, Won have
made a mistake. You have had ii. ).
engraved in this ring instead of NJ. p"
Horace (sotto vocel-''Ding that jew
eler. I told him to file out the initials
(Aloud) That jeweler is slightly deaf.
and you know VI. p. sounds like H. s."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
A Man of Pnsh.

Wife-Mr. Blower. you've always
claimed to be man of push, haven't
you?
Husband-That's what claim to be,
dearest; and I'm always ready to stand
by that assertion.
Wif.-Then what's the matter with
pushing this baby carriage little
while:-Munsey's Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
wanted IL in writing.

''Scaddsby is a suspicious fellow"
said Brief the lawyer Il did some
work for him little while ago and
when he asked for the bill | told him it
was all right wouldn't charge him
anything. lie thanked me cordially.
hut said he'd like TO have a receipt. -
Puck
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

A turtle four feet across the back
has been located in Current river, Mis-
souri,. for fifty years The other day a
hunter shot it between the eyes. but the
ball glanced off and imbedded itself in
a tree. while the turtle swan placidly
into deep water.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
Waiting for the nennu sment

Small Brother-Pa saws he wishes
you d make haste and propose to Sis.
Young Man Then he is willing to let
her marry me?
Small Brother-'Taint that He saws
you won't come so often after you have
been kicked Jury
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

IL have decided
Ia go to the
weddings grand
pa
Il Sllan't 90.
Katydisi. unless
/ can find my
hest hat I've
told you 50 over
and over.
Then / shall
not lle mar
ried; and the
tall, graceful
Young girl nod
ded her small
head decidedly,
shutting h e T
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
The Only One Ever Printed. Can You Find
the Word?

Each week, different inch display II
words alike in either ad, except One word.
This word will be found In the ad for DIR.
Harter's Iron Tonic, Little Liver Pills and
Wild Cherry Bitters Look for :" Crescent
trade mark Read the ad. carefully and
when you find the word, send it to them and
they will return you book, beautiful htho-
graphs and sample free
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
AProper supposition.

what was that animal that was
half horse and half man ?"
THE Centaur."
''oh, yes ! suppose if he had been
ha'f donkey and half man he'd have
be-l . dude. Jury.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
German
Syrup"

G. Gloger, Druggist, Watertown,
Wis. This is the opinion of man
who keeps a drug store, sells all
medicines, comes in direct contact
with the patients and their families,
and knows better than anyone else
how remedies sell, and what true
merit they have. He hears of all
the failures and successes, and can
therefore judge: 81 know of no
medicine for Coughs, Sore Throat,
or Hoarseness that had done such eff
fective work in my
Coughs, family as Boschee's
e-... German Syrup. Last
ooi winter a lady called
Hoarseness, at my store, who was
suffering from very
severe cold. She could hardly talk,
and / told her about German Syrup
and that few doses would give re-
lief; but she had no confidence in
patent medicines. / told her to take
a bottle, and if the results were not
satisfactory Iwould make no charge
for it. A few days after she called
and paid for it, saying that she
would never without it in future as
a few doses had given her relief. q
Ask my agents for w. l.. Douglas shoes.
II not for sale in your place ask Your
agency, and get them for you.
TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE. III
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

A TArR LADY becomes still fairer by using
GIenn's Sulphur Soap
Hilrs Hair and whisker Dye, so cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
The Best Teacher.

NEW JERSEY has no nightisgales, bat she
has the mosquito, anS as a night sol0ist, it
is a hummer Philadelphia Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

IT takes an unusually good swimmer
nowadays to float loan.-Boston Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

CoxsoLrSe-ssYou bore me,' said the
stick of timber, YEARLY. ''Well, I'm near
Iy through" answered the suger.-Chicsgo
Tribune
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

SHIP is often saved by It's anchor, but
men are often lost b. their rancor.-Texas
RiffinOs
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

ARE as small as homeopathic pellets, and
as easy to take as sugar. Every oody ikes
them. Ca .er's Little Liver Pills. Try them
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

SWEET am a candy-date for your IA
vor." as the bonbon said to the boy.-Brook-
lvu Eagle
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

HARSH purgative remedies are fast giving
way TO the gentle acton and mild effects OF
Carter's Little Liver P.Es. IL yor try them,
they will certainly please you
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

INeTeS 0d1aqeT
in a cough-more than ever when
your blood is chad" II makes
things easy for Consumption. But
there's a cure for it in DIR. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. A posi-
tive cure not only for Weak
Lungs, Splitting of Blood, Bron-
chitis, Asthma and all lingering
Coughs, but for Consumption itself
in all its earlier stages. It's rea-
sonable. All these diseases depend
on tainted blood. Consumption is
simply Lung scrofula. And for
every form of scrofula and blood
faint, the discovery" is a certain
remedy. It's so certain, that its
makers guarantee it to benefit or
cure, in every case, or the money is
refunded. With a medicine that is
certain, this can be done.
There's a cure for Catarrh, too,
no matter what you've been led to
believe. If there isn't, in your case,
you'll get $500 cash. It's a bona
fide offer that's made by the pro-
prietors of DIR. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. There's risk in it, to be
sure, but they are willing to take
the risk-you ought to be glad
TO take the medicine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

fective work in my
family as Boschee's
German Syrup. Last
winter a lady called
at my store, who was
SUFFERING from a verv
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

Forth from the towns relentless din and heat
And dust Of labor glad escape make
Up where the high hiss idly lave their feet
In the cool rippies Of the sparkling lake.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27

WHEN WHITING To ADVERTISERS PLEAhE
state thai you saw the Advertisement I'm this
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-08-27
GRANDPA'S BEST HAT.
Search for II Brought TO Light
Other Lost Articles.

\ - OF have decided
Milford chronicle., 1891-01-09
Lewes Finances.

The auditors report of the financial CON
dition Of the town Of Lewes for 1890 IS out,
and among the items may be mentioned the
following from the treasurer account Take
collected, sI,3o5.Io; received from county
treasurer, 5000; rents Of public land, $500
sale Of public marshes, SI3S.44. Discussed
Paid orders 81 ,6Ie So; 20 town bonds paid
of. 81, 100; interest on town bonds, s52s 50
amount of tax levied for 1909 was SI,47I so
bonded Indebtedness Ofthe corporation Is
s4.1so. An election for four commissioners
to serve three years and treasurer and as
sessoI for one year was held on Saturday
afternoon.
Milford chronicle., 1891-01-09
Charles Cosgrove.

Who has not been able to attend to his bus
mess for years, was interviewed by our re-
porter yesterday, and says. For years was
troubled with Brights disease Of the Kid
neys. The doctors gave me up, Through
an Eastern friend I obtained bottle Of Sui
phur Bitters. I took five bottles and now
am also we'll, Keith sells them.-SaH
E7,,q0cisc0 CaK
Milford chronicle., 1891-01-09
Progress.

It is very important in this age Of vast
material progress that a remedy be pleas
ing to the taste and to the eye, easily taken,
acceptable to the stomach and healthy in its
nature and effects. Possessing these quail
ties, Syrup of Figs is the one perfect laxa-
tive and most gentle diuretc known.
Milford chronicle., 1891-01-09
JEWELRY.

He has the most complete assortment or o' 3S, ., An.
ver shown in this town, consis'lhk "a a., iotes,
Ger rings for ladies and gentlemen -, ~ in all
s,v,es watch chains Of unique pa'vslas ~. hest
r.des chetelain chains and ioos Iol Ia lI' nsns in
bins, bangles. charms pencils anu S''1
endless variety.