Waterbury evening Democrat., 1891-06-02
THEIR NEW HOME.
How Mr.. Wilkins Was Fooled
When House Hunting.

"Eound what?' querlcu MIS-. WllklnS.
"Thc house, my dear. Tho very
house we want"
"Oh! have you?" exclaimed my wife,
with an intensity of emphasis that suffl-
ciently explained her appreciation of
the horrors of housc-hunting. II am
so glad! II relieves my mind of moro
anxiety than you think. Where is it?"
"Here." And pulled the paper from
my pocket and opened it triumphant
" with one sweep of my strong right
hand.
"Oh!-Algyw
despair of conveying in print q
clear idea of tho expression my wife
put into the uttcrancc Of those two
words. It was the cry of n deceived
and wounded spirit Mrs. Wilkins
face looked almost CHASTITY. 1t seemed
as if all the light was struck out of 1t
Us by the crash of sudden woe.
Eyes, in the paper" 1 went on, feign-
ing not to perceive the havoc I had
created in the sensitive breast of the
woman. IAN advertisement, you know.
What n blessed institution this adver
Using system is"
"Wcll, read it,
read 1t:
For RENT-A snug coy house in tho sub
urbs handy to o line OF street cars, will be
rented TO q careful tenant ut fiftcon dollars per
month. Apply OF 60 Jericho avenue. Take
Joppa street car"
Now, Them cried, eXultant
"Ridiculous," said Mrs. Wilkins.
ridiculous, Pcnclopel Not bit of
It. believe that house to be n prize.
I'll go ut once and see it. Thercll be q
hundred applicants for it."
Mrs Wilkins smiled incredulously.
"And so cheap, too!'' said l. Fifteen
dollars n month. Did you ever hear of
such n thing?" But Mrs. Wilkins was
by no means impressed with my new
enterprise. She argued the point long
and earnestly with me, reminding me
that cheap things were invariably dear
est in the end; and at last, in the heat
of discussion, did n very rash thing.
agreed with Mrs. Wilkins that If In Wis
iting the house had in view, it did not
prove in every way desirable, / would
release her in toto from all further
trouble in regard to house. l would
do the house hunting this year myself
may say briefly that l bitterly re-
pcntcd of my promise aftcrward. The
house was n worthless affair. And then
had to go out on n house hunt. 1 need not
recount my narrowing experiences. To
those who know what house hunting is
I could tell nothing new, and to those
who do not have only to express the
kindly hope that they never will. had
doors banged in my face by irascible
houScllccpcrs, who declared their car
pets were being ruined; I was asked
what my name was: what my business
was; how many children l had; where
I lived; in fact I never had so many
questions asked me in the same num-
Der of hours before since was exam
ined by life insurance physician. One
man even asked mo to lend HIM ten
dollars, but he had no house to rent. At
night came home wcaried and worn,
and no nearer my object than when 1
began.
This Is Improbable business, PEN"
said l. II shall pursue it no longer"
but what will you do, Algy? Stay
hcre?"
mo; we can't stay here at the adj
vanced rent"
Then what will you do?"
III go to n house agent. ought to
have thought of that in the first place"
called on an agent the next day,
and had some conversation with him.
IF you will tell me about what sum
you wish to pay for house, Mr.. -"
wilkins is my name"
"Mr. Wilkins, have no doubt 1 can
suit you to IT,
named n sum little in advance of
what have paid the past year for the
house l now occupy; and the agent re-
piled:
Gs'Tbar, IL ., hO,,sn IN o,,o ~ flo host
neighborhoods in town which is to be
vacated in about ten days, which can
let you have at the price you name, and
it is really treasure at that figure. 1t
has ten large rooms, large yard, porch
es and all modern convenicnces. can
recommend it in every respect, sir. Its
advantages arc such as to admit of no
criticism, and 1 promise you, and
stake my reputation on the event, that
you will find it quite to your liking.
The rent is not low, to be sure, as
things go. but the location is one of the
choicest in the city. 1t has been occu-
pied by n very careful tenant to whom
no objection is entertained that l can
learn except that he has children"
80 have children" said, very de-
cisively; -four of them, and l intend
that they shall occupy the same house
with me during the next twelve
months, at all hazards. So if that is
the objection believe we can drop the
subject where it is"
''Ah, yes" said the agent, blandly.
"It is only an objection of principle,
however. The owner is opposed to
renting his houses to families with
children on principle. The house to
which refer forms the only exception
to his rule. have no doubt he could