The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1891-06-23
MR.. BoWsER's MISTAKE.

ume, and at supper we had bread in
place OF biscuits.
Cook run away ," aueried Mr..
BONser as he noticed the change.
The baking powder didn't come up"
Ireplied.
Did YOU order it ~
" Yes, at O'Clock"
And it is now 8 Mrs. Bowser.
there must be something ve-y wrong
with your system OF trading. Ii were
ordering groceries I'd like to see 'em try
any such game on mel
We can get along for once.n
That isn't the question. You order
groceries at o'clock. They are not
here at 6. This shows either that the
grocer doesn't care for your trade, or he
is liar in agreeing to send them up. L
am afraid they find you very easy
mark
81 suppose you could do better, .
retorted
Certainly. A woman can. perhaps.
buy glmcracks 10 better advantage than
a man, but when If comes down to solids
she can't be trusted"
Very well; you buy the groceries for
the next week. The cook will tell you
what is wanted
"I'll do it, and I'll show YOU that we |
will live a great deal better and vet save |
81 or s. week. They can't play roots
on me, Mrs. Bowser."
Next morning, before going away, he |
went out to the cook and said
I'll send up the meat for dinner. /
That's all, l SUPPOSE"
We want a few things besides, sir. Y
Put down salt, soap, pepper, tea, CHINA
mon, starch, sage, tomatoes, vinegar
What Haven't we got blessed
thing in the house?"
Lots o. things, sir, but there's some
thing wanting every day. You can add
washboard, a lamp-chimney, some
sspolio, a box of matches, and ID
That will do,n interrupted Mr..
Bowser. 4" l can see that there has been
the greatest acknowledgement in this
house. It's a wonder that we are not
on the way to the poor-house.
Well, if YOU don't get 'em, we won't
have 'em, " said the cook, and with that
bit of natural philosophy she turned
away to Wa her dishes.
Some IN, ~ came up aud WIS prepared
for dinner. When Mr.. Bowser came
ONE he inquired:
What have you been paying for roast
aef?''
about thirteen cents"
"Ahl l suspected it from the way tho
lteher acted. He has been swindIing
ou at the rate of six cents per pound"
MOI"
Fact. sent up piece at six cents
Aich beats any you have had for Il
.lonth."
When we got seated at the table he
looked about and remarked that the
cook had forgotten toput on the potatoes.
You didn't sent up any," replied.
''What?"
Nothing came but the meat"
Z" By the great two-humped camel,
but"
He suddenly felt in his vest pocket,
agahere was the list of groceries.
NlAet' hat he took up the carving knife
and fork and began to carve the meat.
1t didn't carve. He bore down and sawed
away, and finally laid the knife down
and said:
''Mrs. Bowser, is this piece OF rhino-
ceros or beef"
Its a neck piece of beef, Mr..
Bowser. When | buy 'em for mince pie
l boil the meat about two days. You
sent it for a roast and the cook has
roasted it."
He turned very white and kicked the
at from under the table, and our dinner
as a slim and unpleasant one. After
eth " on his hat and overcoat he went
1T to see the cook, and, as he appeared
u the kitchen door, she said:
There's no butter for supper, and |
want you to send up some tomatoes for
soup, two iron spoons, a package Of
stove polish, some silver soap, allspice,
oyster crackers and bluing. Here's a
list"
do you pretend to say We want all
those things?' he demanded.
Yes, and many more. L never
worked in place before where had so
little to do with. Ii you'll send up man
and an axe I'll have that beef cut up
cold for supper"
l could hear Mr.. Bowser breathing
thirty feet distant, and one of his shoe
strings broke with a loud snap, but he
went out of the house without explod-
ing. In the afternoon the things came
Gp-all but the tea and butter. At sup
per time the cook made coffee. IN
BoHser noticed it as we sat down, and,
shutting the aroma, he remarked.
Doesn't your girl know the difference
between breakfast and supper? And
where on earth is the butter?'
"You didn't send up either tea or but
ter"
What Mrs. Bower, do you imagine
I've gone crazy2"
"WeIl, they didn't come up"
sfThey didn't, Ell? Let me 90 to that
telephone and I'll give that internal gro
cery store something to think of for the
next hundred yearsv
1 don't know what the grocer said to
him, lbut Mr.. Bowser danced up and
down and sent him to Jericho, Jersey
City and lots of other places, and wound
up by saying that he'd 60 to the Cape OF
Good Hope before he'd ever buy another
thing there. That night found the list
of articles in his pocket. He had checked
off as he ordered, and had lett the tea
and butter out Next morning before he
went down town, he said to the cook;
'1'll send you a chicken to be baked
and stuffed
AtII O'Clock, no chicken having ap-
- H. f-.od Gonna bacon for dinner |