Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-04-07
TALKS BY THE WAY.

=
got down TO the once tbs m0rnlRg /
found tao crazy women waiting for ne
aad before two hours had passed | MAS
yissted by seven There would nave
been nothing unusual except tor the
fact that each one OF them told pre-
eisely the same story. In every case
the husband had been q factory en-
ploye, sho In the hope Of reap.ng ricn
harvest by tapping the various eandi-
dates for money, had laid OF from
work. The family had seen no benefit
from the change and most of them re-
ported that they were IN need OF the
necessities OF life. The head OF the
house seemed 10 be acquiring nothing
bat "a alcoholic breath and the lnQig-
nant and neglected wives each wanted
a warrant for arrest On the charge OF
failure TO support"
The force at the county clerks Office
Are not stuck on the new form of afh-
dasit for license TO marry. Said one
OF the boys yesterday: "You may
roast that all you please. Ii fellow
don't look sharp he will get things ali
mixed up. Some Of these days some
fellow will find out that by the papers
his nother-in-law has been married To
his father aud then there will be libel
suit"
HAD Fux.-A heavy built man who
looked like a dead game sport. walked
along canal-st. yesterday, and brought
up Ia front OF Tibbs' drug store. He
saw the sign Liquid paint. glass, etc,
be queer Joint, believe I'll 60 IN and
hu tr,., Nth no -
They went IN and the man inquired Of
Mr.. Tlbbs, .'Do you keep glass mere"
"fes." replied tue druggist, thinking
that the man wanted something else
that he was modest about inquiring for.
well. give me q .ixS6." said the
man. Mr.. Tlbbs smiled IN a knowing
way and taking bottle began to COM
pound strong smelling mixture.
What IN thunder are you doing
therer' inquired the man.
"Why, am putting up prescription
2,i36." he answered. chats what fyou
| want u pane Of glass 2ix36 inches"
Mr.. Tibbs looked astonIshed at first
and then smiled a sickly smile as he set
up box of cigars for treat. 81
| thought of couse you wanted that pre-
1 OIL llttlOl pun ~ ID ioi SCb
eral times day and as you called the
numbers supposed | was right and
went ahead"
PAwSEE CHIEF.-John C. Cole, some
times from his magnificent stature re-
| ferred to as the "Pawnee Chef" IS at
| the Clarendon. Mr.. Cole is one of the
big guns of Fremont. and was candi-
l A.e SNp f,pv, kx-s h.,t
| for Tip" Alpin's place as Auditor
General, at the State convention IN
Jackson.
TENoRs-"You may not have no.
| ticed," said q local singer yesterday,
that there are good many more good
bassos in Michigan than there are gOod
| tenors. Perhaps the same remark is
true of the United States in general.
! Well, have my own little theory to
account for it. The climate has every
thing to do with 1t. Michigan is
peculiarly subject to changes in temp
/ erature and humidity. Bronchial
/ troubles, catarrh, ETC., are very pre-
| valent in the State at all times.
| Nothing effects the vocal organs SO
much, and to that lay the fact that
\
| plenty. In Europe, especially Southern
Europe, the case is reversed. Notice
how many of the tenors bear Italian,
Spanish, French or Hungarian names.
| The climate there partakes but little OF
the Mic hIgan characteristics. In the
north countries. on the contrary, it IL
more humid and bassos are more
plentiful"
Irish GIRLs.-A pretty Irish girl was
The subject of conversation between O
prominent local attorney and a Judge.
Said the latter: "From my limited ex-
pericnce l have this To say. that II Ire.
land has many more like her, it's u
good place TO go TO write poetry. 1t has
been noticeable thing in my expert.
ence on the bench that very few of them
get into court with their troubles. 1,
may be their religion or their training,
but believe that no class of girls in the
world make AS jolly companions. as
true sweethearts or as loving wives and
good mothers as the same Irish girls"
CRoss-EyEs.-"I can always tell when
a cross-eyed man is looking at me-
said gentleman rs q man with hi:
eyes toed-in passed by. at is so com.
mon for people to feel uneasy under the
gaze OF the possessor OF pair
Of cross-eyes." "How can you tell
! whether he is looking at you or
the man over in the next county,
was the question. EASY enough. A
cros-eyed man has two images cast
upon the retina just the same rs any.
one, but by constant practice his mind
ignores one and sees only the other.
As result one cye is all he sees
| with. Just watch your subject
and see which eye he Is in the
habit OF looking with and watch that
one, you can always tell what he IS
aiming at, as he never changes. He Is
to all practical purposes blind IN the
other. Some use the right and come
the left, but an individual always uses
that one all the time"
TRADE CHEsrSuTs.-"It always makes
me sick to hear tina, JOKE" said a shoe
| dealer. What joker was the qucs.
| ton IN answer. "Well tins: livery
time a man comes IN here with a big
pair of feet and ne wants TO be funny,
ne smiles CHASTITY grin and says con-
| tidentially: I've got a small foot,
but it takes . big shoe TO fit it, I'll bei
si4 I've heard that joke no lesstban To-.
900 times in my twenty years of shoe
selling. It's trade chestnut. Ii a
man with a similar mental disposition
| isthe possessor OF q big head, say seven
and three-qusrsers or eight, he zoe,
| m and remarks TO the halter,
I've got big head bat there isn'l
much IN it, He's right about that, but
some corner and die. The photog
grapher always catches IL aboa,
| breaking the camera and the cigar
| dealer il asked. Have Won any good