The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1891-02-12
Eli Perkins Sunday Talk.

1t Is SelQOm, SalO Eli PerklnS, IN
Sunday evening church talk, that
Ingersoll meets man who can stand
up against his eloquence and wit. The
great Agnostic and Mr.. Beecher met
on the Alton train one day just after
famous Christian banker had de-
faulted and fed to Canada.
"That's the way with you Chris
tians," said Ingersoll. "Here is
professed Christian who has been a
class leader and vestryman, and
now the hypocrite robs bank and
away he goes to Canada"
"Did you ever hear a Christian
make an uproar, Colonel, when an
anti Christian committed a crime
when he robbed a bank and fed to
Canada?" asked Beecher.
81 don't remember any such case
now," said Ingersoll.
"No, you are not surprised when
worldly man commits a crime. You
don't notice it. 1t is nothing unusual
You see," continued Beecher, .syou
expect us Christians to be perfect.
You expect US to be as pure and holy
as our religion"
"Of course" said Ingersoll.
"And when you say 'of course you
pay US compliment, and when you
show great surprise that one OF US
should chance to do wrong, you pay
US still finer compliment. Don't
you?"
Mr.. Ingersoll was silent, and CON-
menced winding his Waterbury watch.
AS the train passed Joliet, Inger-
soil commenced complaining in a
bantering way about the hardships
Christian people have to endure in
this world. "They have cyclones in
Iowa." he said, "grasshoppers in Kan
sas, famines in Ireland, floods in
Pennsylvania, yellow fever in Calves
ton, George Francis Train in New
York and smallpox epidemics in Bal
timore. 1t is very hard" said Mr..
Ingersoll.
"What does all this prove3" asked
Beecher.
alt proves that the universe is not
governed by personal God, but by
law-law-law. There is no personal
God or devil. Such ideas are only
worthy of savage. Huxley, and
Darwin, and Calico would laugh at
such ideas. Is there a personal God
who drowned 10000 people in the
Johnstown food? But no, it was no,
God, it was law. Foolish men built a
weak dam. By the law of gravity the
weight of water broke the dam and
swept saints and sinners down tc
death"
Mf there were personal God, and
you were in His place, could you dc
these things better than they are being
done?' asked Beecher.
"Why, yes. l could make some
: things better than they are" said Mr.
Ingersol.
"Now what is one thing that yo,
would change and improve3 Tell mt
+ one thing that you would make differ
, ent than it is? Do you mean to sa!
. that with our feeble intellect we could
, improve on anything the Almighty
has made2'
"Yes, certainly could" said In
: gersoll pushed to the wall.
"Well, tell me one single thing tha
r you could improve on"
f "My dear SIR" said Ingersoll, "i
] had my way in this world, woult
7 make health catching, instead of dis
a ease catching"
Before the train reached Chicag'
,, Beecher got even with the great agnos
tic. In the seat by the Brookly'
preacher was a beautiful celestia
e globe-a present from manufacture
r in Bloomington. On it was an ex
$ cellent representation of the constella
tions and stars which compose them
;, There were the rings of Saturn ant
;, satellites of Uranus. Ingersoll wa
v delighted with the globe. He es
: amined it closely and turned it roun'
d and round.
d ;sIt's iust what l want" he said
9 "Who made it?'
= "Who made it9" repeated Beechel
: "Who made this globef 0, nobod,
Colonel, it just happened"
"No, no. it couldn't happen!" sal
l. Ingersoll.
d "Then no more could this gre:
'e universe happen. God made it!
z Ell Perkins,: