The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1891-03-12
KNIGHTS OF THE AD,
a Drummer Relates Eiperience
In Grand Rapids, Ngan.

w AAoo AiNS uoouG tISSC ulShNo '"
The Road" is that they~0rst fellows
for secret societies. Mosthc drum !
mcrs belong to cvcrythingis is going. c
from that of the "Grand hits of Diu, ]
mond Carter" down to ms of In
temperance. l am quiz hand for
all such mysterious thingSsclf, So |
get solid with all the b, My old
friend Crookston called on the other
day to sec if needed any Is and 60
have visit. We had n jo old time.
While we were sittin5nr>,c office y
chap came in and wV T. borrow 81
on account of rcmf fSe not coming to
him as he expected. him my 50 kept
to lend WINS in now Sg sent in the
day before by JohnSSScEntyre, but l
never lent it cSccp$l Mwmmcrs. He
said ''rhat's me-" EYvt him he grand
hailing sign Of an q yellow, which he
tumblcd TO. ThcnBmc to the great
''har in the soot' b. Of Pythonic.
lie tumblcd Thcf fook'save him G.
B. of the Sons OF Nh. lie was onto
it. Then | tipped the hair-poking ,
signal of a good Tipplcr. lie
smiled and said U. o." This is Il
chemical tcrm mcak "watcrS." Then
Crook stuck out his r,d and gave him
the noted p. ID. q. 4 Of the Royal Arch
Brick Mason. He ut thar" on that.
Then Crookston cXubed him rs follows,
TO make sure he wa$ drummer:
"From whence ctYrtt thou, pard2"
"From the Lodglf the Holy st.
Johns, Michigan"
"What seek yc hcS to do"
''To take Il few otrs and collect
bill Of Billson."
''Thcn you are q dnmcrI'
81 am so taken apyacccptcd by the
boys"
GLOW may knoE to be drum
mcr?"
"By my check andy ifty-pound sam
pie case. TRY me-
GLOW will you bcEicdl"
''l}y the squar'."
"Why by the squat"
''Bccausc the sQua is a magistrate
and an emblem Of stk,dity."
"Whcrc were you t$t led to be drum
Nero
''ln my mind"
"Whcrc ncXt!'
"ln a printing OIL +, adjoining reg
ular post of drummcr y"
GLOW were You prparcd"
"By being divcstcdnf my last cent,
my cheek rubbed dow IN with brick, II
bunion plaster over G ch eye and heavy
sample case in each land. In this fix
! was conducted to tle door Of the post. "
"llow did YOU know it w's n door
being hlind!'
by first stepping PIN coal scut'lc
Hnd aftcrward humrk K my head against
How gained YOU admi>slonr
by benefit Of m,r,chcck."
Had YOU the required chcck?n
II had not, but Steve Sears had il for
m"."
''ITow were YOU rcccivcd"
."On the sharp toe of boot, applied
TO my natural trousers"
"What did this teach you?"
Not to fool around too much.n
"What happened ncxt?"
Il was set down on q cake Of ice and
asked if l put my trust in mercantile re-
poris.'
"IOur answer z"
"Not if know myself, l don't.'
GLOW was YOU next handlcd!'
81 was put straddlc of IL goat made ont
OF 2Xt, and trottcd nine times around
the room by four worthy brothers, and
then trottcd in front Of the Left Bower
for further Instructions"
How did he instruct y0u."
''ro approach Il customer in !hr"c mp
right regular steps, with my business
card extended ut right angles, my arms
forming a perfect square"
GLOW was you then disposed or"
Il IN Inatn1 I,o .,l. {
in front of II dry goods, and made &c
take the following horrible and binding
oath:
az. Charles :. Robinson. do hereby
and herein most cvcrl;.Stinglv and diaboli-
cally swear, by the Great Bob Tail Flush,
that will never reveal and always
steal all the trade secrets can for ihc
use and benefit Of the Most August Or
der And further swear, by the Bald
headed Jack Of Clubs that | will ncvc,
give, carve, make, hold, take or cut prices
below the regular rates. And | further
swear by the Piprrs that played before
Moses, 10 never have any commercial
dealings with any man or his wife, sister,
grandmother, old maid, aunt or uncle.
unless they, he, she or il is sound on the
goose.'l
81 was then asked What most needed. -
' "Wha' was your r"b'y:'
"What did you then hchold!'
"a copy Of Dun Il CO.'S reports, opcn
at chapter 'Muskc&on.' Upon the opcn
book rested II pair Of dug scales, in one
pan of which rested ten pounds of con-
ccntratcd lyc and in The other sat small
silvHr jacliass.'
;'Whal did This emblem signify?'
'Thc scales indicated the balance Dc-
tween debtor and creditor. The other
cmbcms represented lic-abilics and ass
cts of banlsrupts.'
"Did This teach you any lesson"
"You bet II taught me thc fact tha
thc former mc generally 50 almighty muc1
better than the latter"
"Shakc! Brother! Wi
yon be of or from!'
"Both, if can borrow money cnulr
get ont OF town ON.
''lIavc you any cigarsw
81 havc.n
"Givc 'cm to me-"
81 did not 50 receive 'eM, neither wi
50 impart 'cm.H
GLOW will you dispose of en-
"On sixty days time or two per cen
cash, i. 0. b."
"All right, begin"
ny :