The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-10-06
WIT An o ~ISoO ~.
KEEPING UP WITH THE TIMES.
TLife.l

| why, BIZ. what on airth have you done to yer
''She warn't fast enough to suit me. Tommy
and he'd her hull made over ter the same shape
eg o ar al aT
| lhave been great sufferer from dry catarrh
for many years. and tried many remedies, but
none did me so much benefit as Elys Cream
Balm. 1t completely cured MEM. j. Laly,
Woodward Ave-, Boston Highlands, Mass.
The Missing Ingredient
Shell think shall make cake this afternoon
/ Alfred. have ordered the sugar and eggs and
citron, butt feel sure there's something I've
| He-why not look in the cook book?
she latter ive minutes absence)- ALFRED, dear,
would you mind stopping at Sandham's on your
way down and ordering five pounds of Hour
| American Grocer.
Toeet relief from Indigestion, bilious
ness, constipation, or torpid liver without dis
turbing the stomach or purging the bowels take
a few doses Of Carriers Little Liver Pills, they
| will please you.
Very Apprehenslve.
| Miss Winslow (petting the mastif)- just see
he understands and appreciates all our Jokes
charlie Wheeler (who has been there, some
wnat grimiylEYes; I've noticed that he catches
4
| IL your hair comes out or Is gray, stop it with
| Halls flair Remover.
The professor was little confused at calling
the ,on, Dut tnere was no excuse for him to make
III any man is absent and somebody else an.
| swers TO his name, that man will be marked
absent whether he is absent or not."-Journal Of
Education.
After using Ely's Cream Balm two months 1
was surprised to find that the right nostril which
was closed for over twenty years, was opeu and
free as the other, and can use it now as could
not do for many years. feel very thankful.-R
II. Cressengham, 275 18th ST.. Brooklyn.
II have been particular in giving you my meat
3raer." s sag tne guest, because have good
"Your remarks, SIR" replied the dignined wait
ni,ied " ae1sasey away 70 give the order are
une.
How She Became a missionary.
"PIn doing missionary work good deal of the
time," was the reply of one Of the most charming
women OF New York, to friend, who asked how
she busted herself II see by your looks YOU
wonder what mean by th.t I'll tell you.
lew years ago life was burden to me. l had
gravated character for long time, and the doc
tors failed to help me. Existence was a long,
steady terrible torture-a lingering living DEATH
One day saw DIR. Pierce's FavorIte Prescription
advertised in the newspaper. Something In the
advertisement impressed me favorably L caught
at the glimmer of hope it held out as the drown
ing man is said to catch at straw. Still, 1 did
not dare to hope. But got the medicine, and
behold the result feel so well, so strong, and
o, so thankful, that l 30 about telling other
women what saved me. In no other way can SO
well show my gratitude to God, and to the man
who has proved such benefactor Of women, and
my love for my suffering sisterhood."
When He Stopped.
6Oh, 1 used to believe in campaign Of educa-
help spread abroad what we knew. / stopped It.
however. on my marriage, and instead Of a teach
er became pupil"
"W eli, YOU see married a widow."-ChIcago
Herald.
In case OF sudden colds, and for coughs of long
standing, take Ayers Cherry Pectoral.
Pebbie Timbertoe ION being refused alms)--
Do you know what would do II had your mon
yrloseast- do not. what would you DOR
Pebble I. Timbertoe-l'd be, just as mean as
you are.-Puck.
That tired, IanguId feeling and dull
headache Is very disareeable. Take two of
Carters Little Liver Pills before retiring and you
win find relief. They never fail to do good.
"Harry tells me you were Instrumental in pro.
curing his discharge 20 prosiue SITUATION Tor
yourself"
"Well, whenever we have had discussion, he
mas always 5 sad, pus sssVce: that's All
Ayers sarsaparilla, sending the brain pure
blood, makes sound both mind and body.
Manager want you. Mr.. ChiselIer, to prepare
a monument for one Of my freaks that died YES
terday. He was a giant Of splendid proportions
and seven feet six inches In height. What do you
think would be an appropriate inscription for a
monument to such man?
Mr. ChiselIer-Umi Let me seei Why "Gope
to his long heme," course.-Boston Courier.