davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1891-02-04

IL II. lt-. Ol -f1i-
deception in the sale of dairy products.
H. r. 101, by Mr.. Guthrie-To allow
persons receiving aid from the county ia
select their own physician.
PROVIDING FOR CHANGES.
VI easures Proposed for the Reapportionmert
of Legislative End Senatorial Districts.
Senator Byrd Wednesday introduced two
bills, one of which pro-
vided for the reapportionment of the sen.
atorial and legislative districts, and the
other for the reapportionment of the con-
yressional districts. The first named bill.
gives Marion county three senators, and
the following districts are allowed one
each. The bill was referred to the com.
mittee on legislative apportionment:
Adams, Backford and Jay.
Allen.
Allen and Whietly.
Bartholomew and Johnson.
Bartholomew, Jackson and Lawrence.
Benton, jasper, Newton and Warren.
Boone, Hamilton and Hendricks.
Boone, Marion and Shelby.
Brown, Monroe and Morgan.
Carroll and Cass.
Cass and Miami.
Clark, Jennings and Scott.
Clark, Floyd and Jefferson.
Cav and Owen.
Clinton and Upton.
Crawford. Harrison and Orange.
Daviess and Martin.
Dearborn, Ohio and Switzerland.
Decatur and Shelby.
Delaware and Randolph.
De Kalb and Noble.
Dubois and Perry.
E khart and Marshal.
Favette and Henry.
Floyd and Washington.
Fountain, Parke and Vermillion.
Fountain and Tippecanoe.
Franklin, Ripley and Union.
Fulton and Marshall.
Gibson and Posey.
Grant and Howard.
Greene and Sullivan.
Hancock and Rush.
Huntington and Wells.
Knox and Pike.
Koscusko and Wabash.
laGrange and Steuben.
Lake and Porter.
Laporte.
Madison and Upton.
Pulaski, Starke and White.
Montgomery and Putnam.
Randolph and Wayne.
Spencer and Warrick.
st. Joseph.
Nanderburg.
Nigo.
Marion county, under the provisions o
the bill, is allowed seven representatives
the county of Allen three. Yigo two
Vanderburg two. and st. Joseph two
while the following districts are allowed
one representative each:
Adams.
Allen, De Kalb and Steuben.
Bartholomew.
Bartholomew, Jackson and Jennings.
Benton. Cass and White.
Blackford, Huntington and Wells.
Boone.
Brown and Monroe.
Brown and Morgan.
Carroll.
Cass.
Clark.
Clark, Floyd and Washington.
CLAW.
Clay, Montgomery and Putnam.
Clinton.
Crawford and Perry.
CrawIor Orange and Perry.
Dayiess.
Dearborn.
Dearborn, Ohio and Switzerland.
Decatur.
Delaware.
Delaware, Randolph and Wayne.
Dubois and Martin.
Dubois, Lawrence and Martin.
Elkhart.
Elkhart, Marshall and Noble.
Fayette and Franklin.
FLOYD.
Fountain.
Franklin and Union.
Fulton and Miami.
Gibson.
Gibson, Posey and Vanderburg.
Grant.
Green.
Hamilton.
Hancock.
Hancock, Madison and Shelby.
Harrison.
Hendricks.
Henry.
Howard.
Huntington.
Jackson.
Jasper and Newton.
jaw.
jefferson.
johnson.
Knox.
Knox and Pike.
koscusko.
La Grange.
Lake.
Laporte.
Laporte and Starke.
Madison
Marshall.
Miami.
Montgomery.
Monroe and Owen.
Noble.
Parke.
Porter.
Posey.
Pulaski and White,
Putnam.
Randolph.
Ripley.
Rush.
Scott and Washington.
Shelby. Il
The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1891-02-04

Spencer.
Sullivan.
Sullivan, Vermillion and Nigo.
Tippecanoe.
Tippecanoe and Warren.
Upton.
Wabash.
Warrick.
Wayne.
Wells.
Whitley.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
FUNNY NOTIONS.

A gun is like a mule; when it is V
loaded it kicks.
The trouble with the crank is that he
will turn only n way.
A friend in need is a friend who gen
orally strikes you for a quarter.
The love of the man who marries for
money is founded upon the rocks.
The stoutest soldier will sometimes
quail before his wife's baking powder.
The best way to prevent rain is to
get everything ready to plant turnips.
A race Of a hundred yards is short
enough, buta footrace beats the record.
The book agent, like the sailor, finds
that wind has a wonderful effect on his
canvas.
There is a poor man in Atchison who
says he has no desire to be rich. He is
also a liar.
The most difficult ups and downs Of
this life are keeping expenses and ap-
pearances up.
There is no profit in exploring the
Arctic region. Those who put their
money in it get frozen out.
The prohibitionists naturally would
not kiss a body should he meet a body
coming through the rye.
The musical fad in London is play
ing the harp. The lyre-no matter
how you spell it-cannot be kept down.
1t is said that blondes get seasick
quicker than brunettes. Perhaps this
phenomenon may be accounted for by
the fact that the former are naturally
light headed,
Smythe-"I hear that>Simpkins has
just got a pension. He never saw any
service, did he?" Tompkins-"No; but
he lost his voice urging his neighbors
to go to the front"
my speech at the meeting last
night was my maiden effort" said the
young orator, proudly. YES" cyni-
cally replied his friend, Il noticed 1t
was something of a miss"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
THE MULE AND THE BOY.

A boy, apparently much agitated,
rushed into a house recently and said:
81 don't want to alarm yer, but I've
got bad news. The man sent me up
from the livery stable to tell yer"
Good heavens!" What is it?"
"Why, you know yer little boy,
Aleck, what the men can't keep outen
the livery stable round the cOrner2"
Yes, WE'LL"
Il told Aleck just now not to enter
the stable among the horses, but he
wouldn't mind me-"
ooh, dear! What has happened?"
He said he wanted to see what a
mule would do when you tickled his
heels with a straw"
"Oh, heaven!" gasped the lady, and
chung to the mantel for support.
"Well, sir, your boy Aleck got a
straw, stuck up benin a sorrel mule,
tickled him on the heels, an" The
lady started for the door. AN the
blamed critter never lifted a hoof,"
said the boy. Never as much as
switched his tail. It's a mighty good
thing for Aleck that he didn't, too, an
l thought I'd come up and tell yer"
And he lodged out at the side entrance.
-GermUntO2rn Telegraph.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
DREAMED OF HIS MOTHER.

1t was in the early days of the gold
excitement in the Black Hills that a
party of us started overland from
Canada, bent upon making u ever
lasting fortunes. We never reached
the Pah Sappa (as the Indians called
our intended Destination and as the
story is interesting I will tell you the
reason.
We came into camp one night at the
headwaters of the Cheyenne river, and
as was our custom, we had two or
three hours of storytelling before we
wrapped up in our blankets and went
to sleep.
On this particular night we had
taken turns at yarn-spinning until old
Tom Roberts came next in order. He
stood up, his face lighted with a kind
of halo by the Pickering camp fire.
Boys" said Tom, I'm not goin' to
give we any wonderful stories of what
1 might or might not have done. No;
I'm goin' to tell We bout a dream l had
last night.
You remember where our last camp
was? 1t was near a big marsh. The
night was jest as calm an beautiful as
this night is, an the crickets an frogs
sounded so sleepy-like, an the air was
so wet with dew an smelled so fresh
that I was minded of my boyhood
home way back in New England.
81 went to sleep thinkin' bout old
friends an the happy times when I
didn't know so much of the world as
[ do now. I don't know how long [
slept, but all of a sudden l heard a
tinkIin' of bells an I seen some spark
lin little stars fOatin' toward me
through the slough grass. AS they
come nearer I could make EN- out to
be little fays like my Aunt Mandy
used to tell about.
"They flew all round me an one Of
'em says, steppin' out in front of the
rest, says she:
"'Be you Tom Roberts?'
eyes, ma'am,' says L.
well, Tom, I've been watchin'
you for some time she says, an I
think you're a good, deservin' feller.'
81 try to do what's right says l,
but l miss it sometimes
.''No human is perfect says she,
but I'm goin' to reward We. I'll grant
We the dearest wish of your life, what
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29

pate de fOls grass, which that morning
he sent to Mr.. Jones with his compli-
ments, hoping that the delicacy might
be OF us at the dinner party which he
had heard the gentleman contem-
plated giving. Of curse an invita-
ton to that dinner accompanied Mr..
Jones's thanks for the pate.
Admirable tact, indeed, said Brum-
mell's friend, "but [ did not see any
thing of the pate"
True" replied the Beau. q eyed
every dish that came in, but as you
say, it did not make it's appearance.
AS [ was putting on my cloak to go
away, [ desired my servant to ask the
cook what had become of it, and he
was told that monsieur had kept it for
Master Henry's birthday. Had it been
destined for the father it's fate, though
unworthy, would have been support
able, but to be the prey of the little
Jones! Sir, it was an insult to me and
to my pie! Go, said l to my a go
back to the kitchen and say that 1
particularly desire to see that pie
Sir, I put it in my carriage, and as I
cut into it next morning at breakfast I
felt justified, for I never inserted my
carving knife into such another"
Sublime ~effronty! Glorious impu-
dence.-The Household.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29

ever that may be. Do you want a
magnificent f%ortune9 says she.
"'No, thankee,' says I. L want to
earn all the money I can git
"'Then how about power. Would
like to be a. ruler? A king or some
thing like that?'
"'No,' says L; what would a Teller
like me, with no %eddication, do with a
kingdom? I'd be like a fish out of water, ;
says (which I would, mates.
Then she says, 'Supposin' I make
you as wise as Solomon"
"''Twon't do, says I, my head amt
big enough to hold all that
"'Would you like to be the happiest
man alive?' says she.
"'I can't be no happier than I am
this mint, says l..
"'Well, what can I give ye?' says
she, discouraged like.
9TH tell ye,' says L, If We want to
do me a real favor-somethin' I'd like
above everything else-why, jest
gimme a glimpse of my old mother
who has been dead these forty years. ."
Tom Roberts paused a moment and
there was asilence-a kind of speaking
sil7nce-came over the boys, At last
Bob Smith said:
did We see yer mother, Tom?"
mo" said Tom, in a sad voice. 1T
was like all dreams, mates. They never
hold out. That fairy says, All right,
Tom, jest wait a little an then she
an the rest O. the fays disappeared
right in the dark quick as a wink. I'd
have given my life, boys, to have her
grant that favor"
That was all Of Toms story and
we went to bed directly afterward,
wrought up and a little sad. And I
dreamed too, that night, of old times.
But [ was awakened, suddenly, by a
terrific yell. Jumped to my feet and
beheld an awful sight. Our camp had
been surprised by Indians, and Tom
Roberts was the first man to fall by a
tomahawk in the hands of a painted
brave.
Taking in my peril at a glance, I
rolled off into the long grass by the
river. Then dropping noiselessly into
the water, I swan off under shadows
of the banks.
I was the only man that escaped,
and I remember how, as I swan off
down the river, I looked up and saw
the bright stars. Quick as a flash I
thought of Toms dream and Imuttered,
It's the hand of God; Tom has met
his mother"
Strange things have happened and
are happening in this world all the
time, but this story Of the last camp
and Tom Roberts dream is the strang-
est I ever came across in all my sixty
years. -DetrOit Free Press.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
Poetry.
H OPEN SWITCH.

All the summer, early and late,
And the autumn days so drear,
\ maiden stood at the orchard gate
And waved at the engineer.
He liked to look at her face so fair
And her hOmely country Dress,
She liked to look at the man up there
At the front of the Fast Express.
There's only a flash of the maiden's eye
As the engine rocks ana reels,
And the she hears in the distance ole
The clinkety-clink of wheels.
Clinkcty-clink, and a mile apart,
And the fireman seems 10 hear
The clinkety-clink of the maiden's heart
And lhe heart of the engineer
Over the river and down the dell,
Beside the running stream,
She hears the Clank of the, engine Del,
And the Whistles screen ana ScIe%m
ClIukctN-clink, so far apart
That nothing can she near
Save the cIink of her happy heart
And the heart OF the engineer
E.a- +fa trembling steed of steel
Seems to understand
Thor sweet distress; and ser ms to feel
The touch of a magic hand
CIinnctl -Cliuk, so far away
In the twilight dark II drear;
Rui what does the heart of the maiden say
To the heart of the engineer?
The subdued sound of the engine-beIl,
~ the Roger rolls away,
Seems solemnIy to tod the knell
Of the din and dying day.
Observation-Disclosures an open switch
Oh. angels, hid her eyes.
Observation-Disclosures in the ditch
Oh. hear the mOanS and cries.
Observation-Disclosures down the track
The train will lash to-day;
Bat what are the ribbons of white and black
The engine wears away?
Characterization! worlds apart
The fireman hangs his head;
There i no clink in the maiden'S heart
The engineer is dead.
-TU H-1yDlUO
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
THE COOK HAD NERVE.
With the Aid of This and Two Revolvers
He Soon Became a Chief.

ne boon became a (h1et.
Not so very long ago a large band Of
cattle were resting up a few miles from
Ninita, in the Indian Territory, before
being driven across the line to Kansas,
says the San Francisco Coll.
The boys belonging to the outfit were
a particularly hard lot, and in six
weeks no less than five cooks had
left the camp in disgust, as no matter
what they did or how well the food
was prepared, the men were sure to
growl, The head boss was in a guam
Diary when the fifth man left, as he
knew he would have a hard job to find
another.
To his surprise, however, soon after
sunrise next morning a short sinewy
son of Erin walked into camp, and,
after lighting his pipe, sat down on a
dilapidated grip sack and inquired if a
cook was wanted. 1t did not take the
boss long to make a bargain with the
man, who said his name was Mac
MILAN.
Next morning, however, the fun
began. One man asked Mac where he
learned to fry pork, another remarked
that he forgot to put the coffee in the
pot, but he was deaf to all until Joe
Taylor, the biggest man in the camp,
said he would be hanged if he could
eat such biscuit as those, and if there
was nc improvement in the grub at
noon the cook would hear something
drop.
At the first mention of the biscuit
the pipe fell from Macs mouth, and
he stood listening until Taylor had
finished. Then walking quietly over
to the wagon he ished out a pair Of
Colts revolvers, and marching up to
the GROWER shouted: You amt got
no appetite, but you sit down and eat
hem biscuits, or I'll plug you before
you can winkI'
There was a wicked look in Macs
eyes as he spoke, and Taylor saw the
cook meant business. He had a pistol
IN his belt, but he also knew that
before he could draw it he would be a
dead man.
Eat them biscuits" came the order
again, while the rest of the crowd sat
around with a grin, taking in the fun.
There was no help for it, so Taylor
sat down, and before Mac let him go
he had eaten every biscuit in the pan,
and was stuffed SO full he could hardly
breathe,
4 thought you would soon find your
appetite, " said Mac Then turning to
the rest of the boys, he asked: How's
the coffee7" Every one replied that it
was fine, and all agreed that the pork
was cooked to a turn. Mac stayed
with the outfit several months, and
when he left the boys swOre he was
the best cook west of the Mississippi
river.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
NOTICE, BRETHREN.

The mass meetings of the Alliance
will be arranged just as fast as possible.
County Secretaries who have not re-
ported, will please report at once.
The cOmmittemee appointed by the
County Alliances on mass-meetings
will please let us hear from them if not
already reported. Every county can
not have a mass-meeting, and [ shall
do the very best to secure the MOST
SUITABLE PLACES AND GOOD SPEAKERS.
Timely notice will be given. In the
meanwhile be patient.
Fraternally,
W. S. BARNES,
Sec'y N. @. f. S. A.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
A sCHOOL-TEACHER'S YARN.

There are incidents, " said a teacher
in a board school, THAT will destroy
the dignity of any occasion. The other
day one of our lady teachers was drill
ing some of her younger pupils in
forming sentences. She gave the word
trumpet Each member of the class
was to form a sentence in which the
word occurred.
LAS a start she asked an unusually
bright little fellow if he could form a
sentence with the word trumpet in
it. He was eagerly confident in his
behalf that he could, and the teacher
asked him to proceed. This was his
sentence: 1 will trump it with a
spade This, of course, put the school
room in a roar, and the teacher went
with the tide. "-Iowa State Register.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-29
BEAU NERVE.
He Used it to Good Advantage at a Dim,
Party.

Party.
For sheer impUdence, commend us
to the wits, and beaux of the first half
Of our century, and apart of the pre-
ceding one. Their practical jokes, over
which we laugh and frOwn at once,
were in detestable taste, and their
impertinences to their social interiors
were something to make the very flesh
of those who are truly courteous creep
with horror. Take the following ex-
ample of a liberty which was no doubt
applauded as a good joke at the time it
occurred:
When Beau Brummell was English
consul at Caen he CHANGED one day to
ask a visitor how he intended to pass
the evening.
why, I dine at Mr.. Jones's, in the
Rue" replied the other.
"Well, ] think l shall dine there,
too" said Brummell, musingIy.
But you have no invitation, have
you?'
NO., u you never ulI1o CudCi L
shall dine there"
The friend very strongly doubted
Brummell's ability to carry out this
declaration as the gentleman who was
to give the dinner had been greatly
opposed to the appointment of such a
frivolous person as the consulate.
However, when he kept his own
appointment that evening, he found
BrummeIl quietly talking with the
hostess, and evidently in high favor.
The explanation of the Beau's success
was this, which he afterwards gave his
friend.
He had bought at Paris a delicious
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-29

he went TO Crawford Clyde, who had al
ready so heartily welcomed him for the
sake of his own friend, Thorndyke, but
who had scarcely exchanged ten words
with him before the native charm of
Gerald wrought its winsome results.
Thereby hangs a tale" said DR..
Clyde's new friend while handing him
the curious declaration of his death
menaced father. ''In the name of rea-
son tell me what you think of it.
have been simply dazed after reading
and re-reading it score of times, and
confess that I'm dazed STILL
Crawford Clyde examined the paper
with as much expedition as his many
professional duties allowed However.
this meant with him no long delay, for
he found time to do every thing-though
nothing well. if faith could be put in
the judgments of his foes. But his
friends affirmed far differently. They
said, and seemingly with loving unc-
ton, that he managed 20 do every
thing, and nothing i'll. 1t is certain
that by some Of his own guild this
wondrously successful young physician
was often called q sham, fraud. But
as Ross Thorndyl1e had quickly seen in
him, he was really the kind of man in
whom solid traits predominated, while
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-29
Tax the Land.

Congressman Jerry" Simpson, in 9.
speech on Labor Day at the Building
Trades picnic in Chicago, said:
We hold that the earth is the store
house of the wealth of the world. We
have ample resources for population
one hundred thousand times as
great as this. Labor has produced the
wealth and must have access to the
warehouse Capital must act only as
an assistant In Pennsylvania learn.
ed that individuals and corporations
had obtained control of vast quantities
of coal lands and used them to raise or
lower prices at will | would like to
know by what right such lands are al
lowed to remain idle, while out on the
Kansas prairie, in my state, we have to
burn corn for fuel l go to Michigan
and find that monopolies control the
iron and copper mines and manipulate
the output to regulate the prices. If
you want to be governed by such mo-
nopolies all right, but tax back the land
thus idle and relieve to some extent
that used by the people. Tax the land
SO that it will be more profitable for
the mines to be worked than left idle
at the command of monopoly.
Whatever any man has added to the
general stock of wealth, or has received
of the free will of him who did produce
it, let that be his as against all the
world-his to use or to give, to do with
it whatever he may please, so long as
such use does not interfere with the
equal freedom of others. For my part.
/ would put no limit on acquisition.
No matter how many millions any man
can get by methods which do not in
volve the robbery of others-they are
his; let him have them. I would not
even ask him for charity, or have it
dinned into his ears that it is his duty
to help the poor. That is his own
affair Let him do as he pleases with
his own, without restriction and with
out suggestion. If he gets without
taking from others, and uses without
hurting others, what he does with his
wealth is his own business and his own
responsibility.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-29
A TRANQUIL MAN.
but He Wanted to Have Quiet Scance
with q Friend.

but He Wanted to Have q Quiet Scance
with Friend.
There was man walking up and
down in front of the Pavonia ferry
house at the foot of Chambers street
the other day with parcel in his hand,
and after a time policeman who
thought he might need information
asked him what was wanted.
''Look a-therer' replied the man, as
he opened the parcel and displayed a
pair of suspenders which bad once
been of sky-blue color, but which had
faded out to the hue of a November
cornhusk.
"Well?" queried the officer.
t'Bought 'em of a young Teller right
here four weeks ago!' hoarselv whis-
pered the victim. ''Give him quarter.
He warranted 'em not to run or fade.
want to see that young man for about
two minits."
'.They have faded, l see," observed
the officer.
81 should remark! I hadn't loaded
three loads of hay before they com.
menced to run, and the red went clear
through to my hide! The young Teller
lied-deliberately lied, and / want a
brief interview with him!''
Il would advise you to be tranquil"
said the officer, as he returned the sus-
pender.
''Oh, am tranquil man. I'm the
tranquilist man in our country. I'm
jest as cool and calm as an OK in fence.
corner. I don't even breathe hard.
Haven't seen the young Teller around
here to-day, hev YEP"
mo. If yon raise a row you will be
run in
II shan't raise no row. I'll jest go
along up the street and look for him.
If find him there won't be no scrim-
mage I'll jest walk up to him and
sorter reach out, and whoever finds
the body will find these suspenders re-
posin' on it's cold and dewy bosom. I'm
tranquil man and very tender-hearted,
but I'll jest walk along up the street
and look for that liar. He won't holler
and he won't suffer long--not more'n
fifteen seconds
He headed off up the river, looking
very stern and solemn as he lodged
among the vehicles, but as no report
was made of anyone being found dead
he probably missed the suspender man.
M Quad, in n. Y. World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-29
He .IulnDpl.

At midnight the other night a man
walked down President street, Brook
Ign, singing The Old Kentucky Home"
at the top of his voice a window went
up and the voice of an indignant citizen
shouted at him:
You, there! You ought to be arrest
ed and sent up for a month";
What have 1 done?" innocently in
quircd the singer,
You are bawling along the street
and waking every body up!''
''Bawling!'
'Yes, bawling."
''Well, mebbe l was; l wasn't paying
much attention. / will now do my best.
however,
And he struck up 1.-THE Old Oaken
Bucket about four keys higher, and
lifted every baby on the street out of
its crib.-M. Quad. in n. Y. World.