Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-08-02
COTTONBLOSSOM CLUB.
TEE GRAPHIC PARTICULARS OF A TOaRD
MDSUHEER-MGHrS SESSION.
A Fatal Explosion in q Watermelon Paich-fhs
Case Of Nan Who Kept Thirteen Dogs and
Allowed Bis Wiis 10 aSlosh" Around Bare
ioos-Ihs President Of TraHsmigrafOn.
K 80 b W y. World.

after the meeting had been opened in
due form, 81 hev a sorrOwiul dOoty to
perform in annOuncin' de death OF Brud-
der ClingStOne Hawkins, a member OF
dis Club libin' In Newark, who passed
sirth away TO days ago. Dis am de fust
death dat has tOcken place in our ranks
since de Club was organized an II al
0rds Us cause fur serus reheckshun. /
know It are usual in SIGH cases to appint
a committee an to move an resolve an
TO claim dat de deceased had all de vir-
chews an none of de vices of mankind,
but we shan't fOller out dat programme.
"Brudder Hawkins was only COM
mon man like dc rest Of Us. Anything
like hard work made him tired.
"He wasn't de mos honest an up
right man Ia dc world. / think he
would prevarlcate as quick as any man
/ eber knowed, an I'm sartin he owed
mos of us borrowed money.
'In losln' Brudder Clingstone we
can't say day a shinin' light has bin
blowed out foreber. De light has bin
blOwed fas' huff, but he was no sinner.
He nebber chen riz up TO support mo-
shun In dis Club.
''We can't say dat his was liberal,
chartible, modest, forginin' cOnscien-
tious an full OF integrity, 'kase he
wasn't. His wife supported de family
while he put on de style, an II he had
found a dollar bill on the floah in dis
hall he wouldn't hev boddered to ask
who lost It.
''He was jist fair to medium, same as
dc rest OF de world. He had some good
pints an some bad ones. Oar was many
a better man, an some few not so good.
We will put de usual emblem Of sorrow
on de doah-knob, an send letter to his
wife sayin' dat we hope he is better of,
an she too"
he WON'T JOIN.
The secretary then announced a COM
munication from Augusta, Ca, stating
that General Shinbone White, OF that
place, who had made application TO be
elected an honorary member Of the club
until branch was established, had de-
cided that he didn't care to pursue the
matter further. That is, his heirs
didn't. A week or so ago the general
walked out one dark night 10 see il the
popular belief that a watermelon turned
over on its back between dark and dawn
was true or false. He happened to get
hold of q torpedo melon, and the in
slant he lifted IL from the ground 1t
exploded. The general is no longer in
terested in every day affairs Of life, and
IL is figured in Augusta that his going
of in the way he did has saved the
watermelon planters at least 10000
melons.
Oar seems to be a warnin' heah,
said Brother Gardner, as he filed the
letter. 'In de fust place, doan' run
out nights. In dc next, cut de string
befoh you liz up de watermillyon."
DECISION RESERVED.
A communication from jackson,
Miss, signed - the-Aiderrnar' " the
Second Ward. wanted to- know II the
Cotton Blossom Club supported the
course of a colored mar in keeping
thirteen dogs al summer and cOmpell-
Ing his wife to 90 barefooted all win
ter. There was just such a case right
in that town, and a decision by the
Club would be anxiously awaited.
ssYo' see" replied Brother Gardner,
as be stood up and looked around him,
'we mustn't jump to any sudden con-
clushens in a case like dis. Oar am
heaps O. things to be considered. Meb-
be all dem dawgs ar coOn-dawgs, and
mebbe dey cOtch thirteen cOOns per
night. Mebbe de ole woman likes to
slosh around bar'fut Mebbe he has TO
hev dem dawgs to purtect his cabin
from burglars. Meooe his RAIDER uleG
an left 'em to him In ais will an aXed
him TO allus keep 'em. De Seckretary
will write for furder perticklers, an
meanwhile no decishun will be made"
IN SOME CASES.
The Secretary was noticed to fdgit
about and turn pale as he hesitatingly
announced a communication from Des
Arcs, Ark, asking If the Cotton BIOS
som Club believed in the theory OF trans
migration. The theory had been de-
hated i'm all the clubs at Des Arcs, put
as no decision had been reached, 1t had
been left to the President OF the Cotton
Blossoms to decide.
oWhat's dat word?" asked Brother
Gardner, as he leaned forward.
"Transmigrashuu, sab, replied the
Secretary. D,
al 'spose," said the Rev. Penstock, as
ba cot mo slowly, IT 'spose de President
of dis Club knows what transmigrashun
means?"
Brother Gardner looked down upon
him without speaking.
cts big word" continued Zen,
stock, can in case de President aoan
happen to- .,- 80.
asot down. Brudder Penstock-Sot
DOWN. exclaimed the President as ne
brought down his gavel. when any
Thin comes befoh dis Club dat can Z
handle I'll step down and glib somebody
else a chance When 20 hears me
maxim use OF such words
as assimilate, tremendous, de-
sideratum an hystericks at eoery
meetin' yo' must know dat transmit
qrashun couldn't tangle me up very
had. De Queshen is: Does we believe
IN tranSmigrashun?' We does, but only
10 a sartin extent. Take de case OF
samuel Shin, fur instance. E0er since
I fust sOt eyes on him has had no douOt
dat when he dies dar' will be case OF
transmigraShun. His speerit VIII pass
into dat OF a mewl, an he will eontiner
TO lib right along to make lie a Ouroen
TO de rest of Us. Shindig WstSlns may
turn into q boss, an Judge CheWSo may
find hiSself walkin' around on airtn III
de form Of a turkey. / dOan, reckon
dat mo- dan one puSson IN q nun0rSu
will transmigrate, an it will liKeiy oe
dem pussOns dat amt no good as men
an women. >"
BE RESIGNED.
The first resignation from the Cotton
7,iossom Club is that OF Col. Euphonias
- nIL--h--h n j.. who was