Los Angeles herald., 1891-05-23
fLoRENce,s TsRRApIN STORY.
An Experienced shellbaci That Easii
Recognized Major Handy.

Recognized Major Handy.
"Day before yesterday says Mr.. Will
lam j. Florence, the comedian, II met my
trend Handy, of the Worlds fair. Never
saw him looking so well before in all my
life; have known him, too, for going on
thirty years. | was mighty glad to see
him, and we had nice long visit. Showed
me letter he had just got from his little
girl, who is on visit somewhere in Texas.
Dear papa, she wrote, you would like the
savoir faire down here in Texas very much,
but the cuisine wouldn't suit you.' Well,
we had great laugh over that letter. The
result of our meeting was that agreed to
dine with Handy at the Richelieu last
night. He said that Landlord Bemis
wanted l should try his stewed terrapin.
But bless you, my dear Noses says l.
there's no such thing as genuine terrapin
in the west You may get the canned arti-
Gle, but surely not the liver
"'Oh, yes,' answered Handy Bemis
assures me that it's the genuine thing, and
guess it is, for I've seen it,
"'Alive? says |.
"'Alive,' says he.
"Well, went away. What a superb
hostelry the Richelieu isl It's unique in
it's way. Upon my word, never saw its
equal Such furnishings, such woods,
such upholstery such china, such glass,
such service, such wines! | declare there's
nothing like it elsewhere in all the world.
Bemis, too, is so cordial, so hospitable and
so intelligent. He seemed so glad to act as
my host, and he wasn't the least backward
about telling me where everything came
from and how much it cost. These are Sc
crets which some landlords are mean
enough not to disclose. Bemis is not that
kind. He is free with his information, and
was glad to get it.
when the terrapin came on, attention
was called to the elegant solid silver chat
ing dish in which it was served. This dish
was made in Paris out of South american
silver. 1t cost, as was told, 5000. The
ornamentation, relieves and embossings
were ornate beyond description, and on the
cover appeared the Bemis crest, gar
nished with diamonds and emeralds. The
contents of this Incompatible dish were
! steaming hot. was served upon a hand
painted Dresden plate which, as was told,
was worth it's weight in gold.
"'Do you like my terrapinr asked Bemis
Now, honestly, | was disappointed in
the Wand had eaten terrapin in Balti-
more, Washington and Philadelphia-te
rapin in every style-and | fiattered myself
that if in all the world there was terra
pin connoisseur he was William j. Flor
ence and none other. Bemis' terrapin had
that distinct flavor which betokens a long
season of preservation. should have said
it was canned terrapin; it was sapid, savo-
ry and delectable, yet not quite the thing.
But of course, | told Bemis that it was
splendid; and indeed the fine old Madeira
(twenty- five dollars bottleD made up for
every deficiency
Il am glad to hear you say it, said Be-
mis-; our friend Handy here has been in
sinuating that | don't keep the genuine
article; whenever l serve it he intimates
that it is the canned terrapin.'
"'Ah, but this is surely the genuine
quoth /.
"'Indeed it is,' said Bemis, and I can
prove it too. Here, waiter-garcon-go
down into the deepest moat under the eel
lar wall, and bring me up one of those ter
rapin. Donnaymoy Won terrapin, toot
sweet, see VOC play
1.-THE waiter-a Frenchman, of course
hustled off. Handy tried to apologize 4
don't mean to say that you haven't got ter
rapin,' said he. for you've exhibited 'em
alive every bluc YOU ndQ tCFItpi4 III tnS
bill. What | do say is that your cooked
terrapin tastes like the canned goods
"Bemis pooh poohed the idea, and pres
emily back came the waiter carrying big
tray, and on the tray sprawled a sure
enough terrapin. You can't fool me on
the genuine article. The terrapin has Ger
tain distinct markings, colorings, shad
ings; this Bemis terrapin was a splendid
specimen.
"'Set it down in the middle of the table,
said Bemis, and the waiter did So
Give got the cellar full of 'em-more'n
a million, | guess said Bemis. Don't
feed 'em anything but minced liver and
Bethesda water All fat as butter and
lively as crckets When the nights are
still you can hear em whistling like night
ingales.
Il was satisfied that | had done Bernis a
serious injustice. Another taste of the
stew convinced me that it was not the
canned, but the genuine article. So ap
piled myself with restored confidence to
the Wand All at once Handy nudged me,
whispering hoarsely; Billy, did you notice
anythingY
81 looked up at him. He was white as
ghost, and he trembled. 'Sakes alivel what
ails you, MosesT l asked.
s"'Do you notice anything queer-any
thing strange or weird?' he asked.
"'No; of course not. Why?'
"'Then | must have taken too much of
the Madeira, said he, and he called for
bottle of apollinaris.
"But presently he said, There it goes
again-look at it-that terrapin-can't you
see-it's bowling at mep
VASTLY surprised, looked up and fixed
my eyes on the terrapin. The creature had
crawled to the edge of the tray and reached
it's front claws over the side thereof; it's
long neck was extended to it's utmost ca
pacity, it's beadlike eyes glistened with in
telligence, and surely enough it was bow
ing it's black head solemnly. Once, twice,
thrice it made obeisance measuredly,
gravely, reverently
'Marvelousp l cried. Tt knows you,
Handy; the creature really knows your
'Bemis was greatly confused. Take it
away-send it back to BaltimoreP he
yelled. But Handy and ! interposed.
Handy understood it all now. 1t was a
trick terrapin, the only one Bemis hadl
He confesse6-yes, Bemis owned up at
length. The terrapin he served was canned
terrapin whenever any question arose as