Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1891-07-04
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Take lesson from the strawberry
box. 1t is never full. ll.-Westfield IN. j.
Standard.
"A Far-sighted Youth. -"Can you af.
ford to marry?" 'I think So have a
clergyman friend who'll do it cheap
Epoch
Artist How do you like the por-
trait?" Sitter-"Well, don't exactly
like the nose" Artist-"Neither do l.
but it's yours, "-Harper's Bazaar.
-Mike-roscopic. - Mike - "Phwat's
microbe, Pat?" Pat-"Sure tits the
most invisible thing ye iver saw
brakes Magazine.
"A Bad Actor.-A wag, speaking Of
an unsuccessful actor, said: ambition
egged him onto the stage and disgusted
audiences egged him off of it. Yankee
Blade.
-She-'T hear that Mr.. Sheffield Hall
mas written such a fine thesis that it
will soon be out in print" Lopher, '91
SO, that's nothing, my thesis was
out in print before / wrote itP-Yale
Record.
Stupid. .-IIe-'I remember once
asking you for n kiss" She-'What
did L say?" He-"Nothing; you were
silent" She-'And don't you know
what silence means?" He-"No" She
Stupid fellowr'-YanlIee Blade.
-"Snip," said the tailor's dude GUS
toner, measure me for a $40 outfit.
I'm going to act the poor man here
after" 80, hope it's not so bad as
that?" 'Yes, I'm determined. I'm go
ing to pay for this suit."-N. Y. Con-
tinent.
-Howard-'I don't see how Peter
man came to die such a lingering death"
Van Coup-"You never knew him did
you?" Howard-"No." Van Coup
"Well, if you had, you'd have under
stood Deaths uctance!'-Louisville
Courier-J ournal.
The Only Things Injured. "There
was fire in Smarvin's safe factory last
night" WAS much damage done?"
'Well, it wasn't big enough fire to
hurt the building at all, but it ruined
all the safes in stock. k."-Saturday Even
ing Herald.
II think it is extraordinary the car
riage does not come. Are you sure you
ordered it?" said She ''Yes; that is,
wrote for it." said he. "That accounts
for it." said she. "Why do you say
that?" "You are so non-committal when
you write. Harper Bazaar.
The Odd Cent "-Grocer-"Petter
you try some dis fine Hmburger. Only
twenty-six cents pound" Wickwire
why don't you make the price an
even quarter? Why not knock off that
extra cent?" Grocer-''Vy, my friendt,
dot extra scent is vot makes it sell"-
Indianapolis Journal
Mr.. SinniclSure, register of deeds,
comes homes utterly exhausted and
throws himself into chair, to the con-
sternation of his family. Mrs. s..
greatly agitated)-"What is it, my
dear?" Mr.. SO, I'm completely used
| up! My deputy has been working hard
all day!'-Toronto Grip
"A pale person applied for admit
tance to a public hospital. sit will be
, necessary said the resident physician,
? ''for you to undergo a medical exami-
nation" When the examination had
3 been made the resident physician said:
! Il am very sorry, sir, but you are by
no means sound and bodied man.
You are, in fact, so ill, that you an e
likely to die any day. We can not ad-
: NIT you. San Francisco Examiner.
. Entertaining Reading. - Farmer
e THAT was stavin' paper you got out
last week" Country Editor-''I am
e glad to hear you were pleased with it. ;
Farmer-"Them stories you had in
about them fellers bein' cured of long
y standin' diseases We're the entertaining
est bits of news I've read for long
time"