The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-08-20
SWALLOWED HIS WORDS.
How the Professional Umpire Sfpped
Rebellion 1T His Decisions.
Wsshinaton City Post


uvas inst before the great ball game and the
players OF the Neverswea;s and squidunk HoI-
low team were holding O last Ginning match
All Squidunk Hollow was there and many
friends had accompanied the Seversweats TO
the field of battle They were In the camp Of
the enemy and they bad sense enough 70 know
IL II was the great return match between the
two rival teams of that section OF the state, and
the occasion was highly important The pre-
vious game had never been hnisned-wound up
in q row-iusf as every contest between these
clubs had ended every time they me-. But this
time a decision was anticipated, as an umpire
from the professional ranks had been induced
70 risk his life and act As arbitrator. He was
known as q man OF great courage and strength,
and as tho gfadiators posed before the CON-
meneeInsnt OF hostiiities he called the men Of
Drawn before him and spaketh an follows: '6ee
here, you blokes, ef yer want me 70 Umpire dis
yer game, see, yer wanier make no bad breaks
on me deeysioas, see. wot / say goes, do yer
mindT' There was no audible reply to the
words OF warning, and the play was begun d.
reetiy afterwaFd Tim Brannigan, pitcher for
the Seyerswests, took his position in the points,
and at once proceeded to open q new box of
curves. They were assorted, and included
many new shades. As he retired the frs.
three OF the opposing team on called
strikes there were mutteTinxs from the Sqni-
dunk es:niingent- Nothing. however. was said
at which the empire" could reasonably take Of
knocked out six runs. There was zloom-denser
than London fog-on the brows Of the sQui-
dunk PLAYERS, and il was plainly evident that
mischief was rife. The professional aojudicz-
tor Of balls and strikes was onto the fact, and
waited for the cloud 10 burst. II came in the
second inning when the first Squidunk player
was called ont on strikes "Dat ball never
coined over der plate" he voeiferatsd, but the
umpire simply replied, "fe're out" This was
the signal Tor the squidunk players and their
friends TO surround the umpire, and their cap
tsin began the proceedings in tbs following
terse and emphatic language; swell, II yer
amt der wust l ever seed Nary one Of dem
balls come ober der plate, and yer glib us der
wust of IT, Yer rotten, yer err" The crowd
took it up ana cnanted. ~ er rotten, yer En-
1t was thrilling moment, and even the bum
blebee stopped burnbling, tie grassbopper hop
ping and the covslip slipping, and all hands
waited for the answer OF the great man. He re-
sponfed in an al tresco manner Jumping to-
ward the squi5unk captain, he grabbed him by
the neck, and shaking him like wet dog, bel
lowed: WAITS dat yer say? Do yer mean I'm
rotting? Blow me ef don't make yer swaily
yer words" And with that he deliberately
gathered up the unfortunate mans moutaings
and forced him TO literally swallow the o6nox-
ions words
TWAS Cesarian feat and struck all Ssuidunk
dumb. and nary . protest was made nor hand
upifted to stay the execution. stiffness and
ouietuess spread DER the scene like . mantle of
Charity, and YVES only broken by the sounds OF
the squidunk captain masticating the verbs and
nouns, with their corners clipped oR-just as he
bad uttered them. Then the game went on in
Up&ce.