davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
BILL NYE'S PATHOS.
A Sketch Written BY Him in 1870, and
Now First Published.

Now First Published.
In 1882 while in Denver on a Journ-
alistic mission, says writer in The
Phila. Press, l resolved to pay u visit
to the humorist, who already had af.
forded me SO many hours in the ag-
gregate, OF laughter and entertainment
To be sure, Laramie, Wyo., whore he
then lived was 500 miles away. but
my curiosity regarding the man had
been aroused and my appreciation OF
his work made the distance seem short.
A product of that visit is the follow
ing little sketch, transcribed from the
original manuscript which he present.
ed to me. As | was taking my leave
of him at Laramie he thrust d long en-
velope into my hand and said: deere
is a manuscript sketch | wrote as far
back as 1870 | give it to you as a
proof that l was not always a Jester
with a quill. Perhaps when you are
writing my obituary some time you
can use It,"
And sure enough the pathetic and
pretty little sketch comes in conven-
iently now. though thank Heaven. I
am not writing Bill Nye's obituary.
Here it is:
Once, long time ago I began to
write a poem. il was to be perfect in
meter and in rhyme and so truthful in
sentiment that thousands of hearts
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
More Sleep.

A German specialist, Dr. Cold. has
recently pleaded for giving young peo-
pie more sleep. A healthy infant
sleeps most of the time during the
first weeks; and in the early years
people are disposed to let children
sleep as much as they will. But from
six or seven, when school begins,
there is q complete change. At the
age of ten or eleven, the child sleeps
only eight or nine hours when he
needs at least ten or eleven, and as he
grows older the time of rest is short
ened, DR.. Cold believes that up to
twenty a youth needs nine hours sleep,
and an adult should have eight or
nine. With insufficient sleep, the ner-
vous system and brain especially, not
resting enough, and ceasing to work
normally, we fiEd exhaustion. excit-
ability and intellectual disorders gradu-
ally taxing the place Of love of work,
general well-being and the spirit of
initiative. Sat Evening Post
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
THE BABY.

The little tottering baby feet,
With faltering steps and slow,
With pattering echoes soft and sweet
Into my heart they go;
They also go, in grimy plays,
In muddy pools and dusty ways,
Then through the house in trackful maze
They wander to and fro.
The baby hands that clasp my neck
With touches dear to me
Are the same hands that smash and wreck
The inkstand foul to see;
They pound the mirror with a cane,
They rend the manuscript in twain,
Widespread destruction they ordain,
In wasteful jubilee,
The dreamy, murm' ring baby voice
That coos its little tune,
That makes my listening heart rejoice
Like birds in leafy June,
Can wake at midnight dark and still,
And all the air with bowling fill
That splits the ear with echoes shrin,
Like comets out of tune.
R. J. Burdette.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
WHY THEY WANTED HER.
Not Because She Was Hands ONE nor BE-
cause Pa Was Rich.

Causo Il a. w 6NS IACh'
There was rejoicing as is rarely
known save when there's boy baby
born or papa's named winner. Cook
forgot to be cross and the parrot in
the front window sang sweet nothings
unmolested to the small boys on the
fence.
Down in his Office Pa McGilway
winked his matrimonial eye. In my
lady's chamber was the busy hum OF
the sewing machine and the eternal
chatter of the dressmaker with her
mouth full of pins.
In the train coming home from col
lege was Abbie the daughter of tho
house the pride of her father and tho
JOY Of her mothers heart. Dear.
clever Abbie, a baby yesterday it
seems to them, and yet to-day wo-
man grown, graduated from college
and coming home with honOrs heaDed
upon her.
But not for long was darling Abbia
coming to make glad the hearts of her
parents and to cause the home of her
childhood to bloom like Il sweet syriu-
ga bush with her presence.
In that long, cool parlor, where the
white lace curtains futtered in the
June breeze and great punches of June
roses waited to challenge the coming
girl to the test of rival sweetness
there sat that day in silence ten young
men. With hats in hand all save one
were breathing soulful maledictions
against the others for being nearer
the door than they.
Since early morn they had sat there
waiting the return of her at whose
feet were TO be laid the ten hearts and
the ten lorCuneS here represented.
She was not so beautiful a girl this
coming queen, nor yet was Pa McGil-
way so rich a man. IL was the fame
of Abbie's graduating essay that had
served as lure to the most eligible
men in town, explains the New York
Commercial Advertiser, How to Keep
House on SO a Week" Miss Abbis
McGilWay
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
The Salvation ARMY.

The salvation army has been in OK
istence just thirteen years. 1t had it's
origin in q sensational way in the En-
glish town of Whitby, in the rough
coal mining district of Yorkshire,
where Gen. Booth, at that time Rev.
William Booth, was doing humble mis-
sion work. England was then in arms
expecting to Jump into the Russo-Turk-
ish war. 1t occurred to Booth that he
might attracta crowd by issuing de-
Claration of war himself, so he pre-
pared one forthwith, sprinkled tplea-
tifully with hallelujahs and posted
1000 copies of it about town The
device tickled the British sense of
humor, there was red hot, rousing
meeting, to quote Gen. Booth, the
penitont fell down in heaps" and the
salvation army sprang into life full
grown.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
EeYpNnlS.

l dreamed I had hard words with you
Last night, dear love, l know not why ;
Some trivial word or act of yours
Had reused my anger, and when |
Awoke at last my heart and brain
Were smarting with the wrong and pain.
l dreamed your eyes-those tender eyes
Looked coldly, sternly, into mine,
And III the accents of your voice
Was no conciliating sign.
And yet It's strange do not know
What twas that chafed and veXed me so.
Forgive me, love! had forgot;
Dreams are as treacherous as our joys,
And. dreaming, | remembered not
That for three years your blessed voice
Had silent been, and daisies white
Had hid your sweet eyes from my sight
American Cultivator
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
DOWN THROUGH SPACE.
The Appearance of the Earth as Viewed
from the Moon.

The Appearance of the Earth as Viewed
from the Moon.
It is evident that to n lunar observer
the disk of earth appears to be equal
to about sixteen areas of the solar
disk, says the New York Times The
solar disk, as seen from earth. is on
an average equal to the lunar disk
seen from the same point for. in a
solar eclipse, the disk of the moon
covers the sun in an annular eclipse
Therefore, the apparent sizes Of the
bodies must average about equal in
size to a terrestrial observer. Again,
the solar disk will appear to the lunar
observer just equal to what it seems to
be when seen from earth, because the
distance from the sun to the moon
averages equal to the distance from
the sun to earth. Furthermore, the
diameter OF earth is equal to about
four lunar diGneter5. and OF cou Sc
the area OF their disks way a the
square Of their radii. AMI this makes
the terrestrial disk about equal to SIX
teen lunar disks and. Of co rise. if the
lunar disk is e. al to the 5Ola" disk at
a given distance, then the ter estr al
disk will seem to be about sixteen times
as great at the same distance.
This enormous disk of earth must
be blue in color to the lunar observer
because earth's atmosphere is blue
and all things seen through it seem
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
RELICS OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
Pctr-fied Strawberries and Stone Which
little Abe Probably Carved.

Petr.fied Strawberries and Stone Which
little Abe Probably Carved
The birthplace of Abraham Lincoln
is in Larue county: about four miles
from here, says q letter from Hodgen-
vile. Ky. The old cabin has been re-
moved, but there are many things of
interest about the place to-day. z. H.
Gentry, who has just put in couple
of days rummaging around in the
woods and brush, has a hat full of in
teresting relics. In sort Of cave Mr..
Gentry discovered what appears to be
a dish Of strawberries petrifed. The
stems and caps of the berries appear
in the petrified mass. and look very
natura us to shape, but they are
glittering white in color. The dish is
OF amber color. One end of the petri-
fed mass is perfect, but the other
looks like it might have been mashed.
The most curious relic is a small stone
that was picked up by Mr.. Hangar
and presented to Mr.. Gentry. it is a
veritable puzzle, and contains num-
Der OF figures that lie hidden in its re-
cesses like the pictures on puzzle
card. At first sight the stone presents
an outline of the face OF Lincoln. Be-
sides this can be found, on examina-
ton, the outlines of a bird fox a
dog, al owl and a hen. The stone
only weighs about eight ounces, and is
octagon in shape Mr.. Gentry decided
that it contained enough curious feat
ures to justify record of its discovery,
SO ne went to the circuit clerks Office
in this place with Mr. Hangar, and
the latter made affidavit Of its being
found near the birthplace of Abraham
Lincoln. and the same was duly sworn
to-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
Went To E,H~

A would-be suicide in Cincinnati,
who left instructions and the money
for her burial with friend. didn't
succeed with her rash act, and there
upon demanded the return of the
funeral money. The friend would on
ly pay over u portion of the cash. so
instead of being a corpse she became
the prosecutrix in law suit, which
has just been decided in her favor.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
III India.

A newly married Hindoo girl is in
terdicted by custom, when living under
her husbands roof, from talking to
an bat her younger sisters-in law or
bro.hers-in-law. A suicide has been
committed by little I-ndu wife in a
village in Burdwan for the pathetic
reason that she could find mo oae to
talk to Or play with"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
After MANY DayS.

Near Leavenworth, Kan, a farmer
had his entire farm gradually washed
away by the Missouri river some years
ago. Soon after the river began TO de-
posit rich soil along the banks where
the farm once was, and recently the
owner went to the county clerk and
had his farm, which was much larger
than before, replaced on the tax rec
ord
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
All Fair in Love.

Miss Beauti-'I wonder if Mr.. Nice
iello is going to the reception?"
Mr.. Sharpfello Ga rival of Mr.. Nice
tellO) Um-Let me see-it's dress
affair. isn't it?''
of course"
Yes. of course. How stupid of
me- If he goes he'll need his dress
suit?"
Presumably"
Then Miss Beauti. l feel sure you
will meet him there. I saw him come
out Of a pawnbroker's this morning
with a bundle under his arm. New
York Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
Which ES?

An American speaker once ques-
toned the true American citizenship
of foreigners. When he was seated, a
foreigner arose and retorted: Al
though am not Il native OF this coun-
try, | think am a better citizen than
my opponent I came to this country
with clothes on my back, while my
opponent came in naked.n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
a SILK Prayer Book,

Z silken Roman Catholic prayer
book has been woven at Lyons. France
the completion OF which took three
years. The prayers are not printed
Ou the silk, but woven. Five hundred
copies were struck OFF, the loom. and
are bought for wedding presents by
rich people.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
IT Es1G Gone.

A soldier wrote home for supply
OF cash. Appended to the letter was
the following po5tscriptum:
Il felt SO ashamed at having asked
you to send me ten francs that | ran
to the po5totfice to get my letter back.
Unfortunately it had gone. Rect
o.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15

In the prolonged and irrepressible
conflict between oleomargarine and
butter the former has a decided adj
vantagc-it is certainly the stronger OF
the two
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15

The president na~ appa1n ed Lieut.-Col
Charles 7. Alexander chief medical pur-
veyor of the army. ID succeed Col. Vollum.
lately retired. The position is next In i'm
portance to tkat of surgeon general.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-10-15
1T LOOKED EASY.

He was looking at typo
Piling letters in his stick.
And each one seemed to fell in line
So gracefully and slick.
s'That's easy work. he muttered,
81 cen could do it well
Y | only had half chance
Aad could the boxes tell"
The typo bid him try his hand;
Oerjoyed the stick he took
He set one hne-it's standing yet
1t IaaL's Ids sort of lSk.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
STILL ANOTHER CREMAToRY.
The Hot Blast Idea Applied to
Garbage Cremation.

Judge Hemiup has introduced to the
notice of the health department another
garbage crematOry scheme, which he de-
sires should be given due consideration.
The furnace in question is built on the
hot blast principle used in smelling ores
and is the invention of a Denver man
named Mackenzie, who is ali old friend
OF Judge Hemiup. There are two cylin-
ders on either side of the fire box, filled
with coal. A coke fire on CRATE below
forces the gas from this coal over and
through the substance to be consumed,
and, it is calculated, will produce heat
of 5000 degrees. This is sufficient to
reduce all kinds of garbage to an inof-
fensive dust. The crematOry has a ca
pacity of thirty tons and can be emptied
three times in q hours. The chief adj
vantage claimed is that by first forcing
the gas through from one side and then
from the other all portions of the mass
are kept subject to the forces of COM
bustion. In others the coal is put di-
rectly OH the fire, and in the smoke that
passes off before full combustion great
deal of the offensive matter escapes.
The new plant, which is still matter
OF theory, it is thought can be built for
$1,000. 1t is the first application Of the
hot blast to garbage cremation.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
ARTISTIC REFORMERs.
They Think That the Dress of fhe
Present Day Is Too Plain.


Every year the prOsaic gains in as
cendancy, and the poetry of dress and
even motion. is relegated to the rear Of
prim conventionality. PictureSqueness
in costume is alasl no more. save OH
the mimic stage or in the midst of the
masked carnival" But in real life,
among the cold and calculating mOrtalS
of today, the rythm of attire has given
way to the grating of caricature. The
taste for the artistic in dress, which was
at its height in ''ye olden tyme," is ie-
caying. crumbling away. ''StOre clothes"
are now the proper caper, and the style,
figure and complexion of great deal of
the ''store clothes" worn by the modern
male enigma. the dude" would frighten
savageS more than railway cars frighten
the people of interior Missouri. A
number of young gentlemen of this
city have formed themselves into
an organization for the avOwed purpose
of awakening the dead and dying
sense" of art in costumes. They do not
intend to attempt dress reform by any
means. They are going about it in a
though their ideas are trifle mOuldy,
the fact that they expect to awaken
the dead and dying sense" is unique, TO
say the least.
On New Years eve they have ar
ranged with the prOprietors OF Wash
ington rink 10 give the first of series
Of winter masked carnivals. The man.
moth building has been leased and will
be put into the hands of the decorators
this week. Mendenhall is to furnish the
flowers and do the floral decorating.
The local cOStumers have arranged to
handle the costumes, some of which will
be secured from New York and others
from Chicago. In order to awaken the
aforesaid dead and dying sense" the
gentlemen referred to above state that
practical Illustration of how the many
varieties of the costumes of the past
look upon 'real' people is needed. On
that evening at least the unromantic
''stoIe Clothes" which are making thar
ignOble and depressing way even tito
Asiatic Turkey, will be relegated to the
galleries, and no one save those in cos
tune allowed on the dance floor.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
Christmas at Bethany.

The sixteenth Christmas anniversary
to be celebrated in Bethany home VIII
be observed on Tuesday, Dec. 90. 1881.
On this day the house will be open TO
the public from 10 a. m. to D. m, and
a cordial invitation is extended to all 10
call, and by their presence attest their
interest in our work. The Lyndale aY-
enue electric car now passes the door Of
the home. There are in the house 1t
the present time, some fifty or more
young women, and as many more chill
dren from five years Old and down.
wards. The board of managers of &. G
home hopes that the Christian people IF
the city will remember that the inmates
of the home deserve to be remembereg.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
The Difference Settled.

The city and the water power COM
pany have arrived at au adjustment of
the latter's claim, which it is thought
will prove satisfactory to both and gov
ern all future dealings. The water
power company offers TO give the city
credit for all the time its powers are
not i'll use during low water stages.
When the water goes to waste anyway,
as in the freShet, no credit will be given.
The city will get credit for full value,
however. when water is scarce and pro-
portiOEately valuable. The bill of $500
recently submitted by the company will
be cut 1900 by this arrangement and
paid
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
Judge Smith and Horse.

Judge Smith ought to be we'll versed
in the qualities of two breeds of blooded
stalliOns. For the past few days he has
been listening to the evidence in what
appears regular "daOun East" horse
trade. Some time ago Wallace q. Saw
yer was the owner of Well-Dred French
draft stallion named "GlOrious." Elias
Moses wanted the stallion, and dickered
with Sawyer until he succeeded in trad
ing a twO-year-Old colt, valued at $500,
an alleged full-blooded English Shire
stallion, valued at $1,000, and $500 in
cash for Glorious" Sawyer now al
leges that the English Shire stallion is
nothing more than a common horse,
valued at $4O0. He, therefore, sues for
II difference. The Jury disagreed.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
For the ChampionshiD.

Tonight the Swedish and Norwegian
tug-of-war teams, six men on a side
Will pull at Normanna hall for the
championship of the Northwest. The
Norwegian team won the championsh;
in the international tournament Z.
Washington rink several weeks age
On Dec. the two teams pulled a draw
at NOrmanna hall. The pull tonight 5
to decide that draw.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
The IInrIine Ball

The annual ball of the LurIine Boat
club will be held some time about tie
middle of January. The exact da4l
will be set this week. The Lurline bal
this year will be a strictly invitation at
fair. The members of the club intend
to make 1t one of the swell society
events of the year. The proceeds 81
the bali will go toward building TIE
club house.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
o. A. BIithen's Wife.

Mary A. Blithen makes several
charges of serious nature against Otis
A. Blithen in her complaint for a di-
yorce filed yesterday. Her principal
fame language towards herself and
sister. Yesterday morning K. r. Odeii,
her attorney, and Mrs. Blithen appeared
before Judge Smith and asked for $50 a
month alimOny and attorneys fees.
Upon being proven that Blithen was
only divorced from former wife four
weeks when he married the present
Mrs. Blithen in 1878, and is now paying
the first wife $50 a month alimony,
Judge Smith granted both REQUESTS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
A SUPPOSED SUICIDE.
Louis Nelson Disappears, Leaving
Strange Note.

Louis Nelson, a labOrer who boarded
at POS Fourth street south, has been
missing since Sunday last, and yester-
day the lady with whom he boarded, be-
coming alarmed at his long-cOntinued
absence, searched his room and found
the following note:
Miuneapolis-I have only one request to
make of the people of this country, and that
is that my parents be told of my death. My
fathers address is G. p. Nelson, Klosterstave
No 16. COpenhaa IN, Denmark.
j. S.-My body | give to the Medical Col
lege Of Minneapolis, Mimi
fAs Nelson had been out of work for
some time and seemed respondent, his
fellow bOarders are convinced that he
has committed suicide by drowning
himself in the river. The police have
been notified of the case.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
Wilt Work?

James Baxter, the janitor Of the Cen
tral High school, thinks he has invent
ed continuance that will effectually
save ali of the heat that now passes up
the chimneys in the school buildings.
He would make all the hot smoke from
the fires pass through system of pipes
in a sort of radiator, then on to the
chimney after losing all its heat.
Messrs. Pratt and Jaeger of the school
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
THE BODY RECOVERED.
Hiss Anderson's Remains Taken
TO Her Home in Eden Prairie.

Miss AndersOn's remains Taken
to Her Home in Eden Prairie.
The body of Miss Hattie Anderson,
who was drowned in the river while
skating, near Bassett's creek, Thursday
evening, was recovered early yesterday
morning by Thomas MOrrell, profess
sional diver who is now in the employ
of the Minneapolis Mill company. The
down, and was found by Morrell soon
after he went to work Coroner Byrnes
carefully looked into the case. and de-
cided that no inquest would be nee
essary, and the relatives of the young
lady left last evening for Eden Prairie,
taking the remains with them. The
funeral services will be held at that
place at p. M. today.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20

board building committee think that
the idea can be made practical, and
good deal of a saving in coal effected.
Mr.. Norton, of the same committee, is of
a contrary opinion. 1t is more than
p robable that the passing of the smoke
through the radiator may so destroy the
draught that the fires will not burn.
MIR. Baxter may be given permission to
try his invention.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-20
Harvard Club Music.

The Harvard banjo and glee clubs are
scheduled to appear in Minneapolis at
the Lyceum theater one week from to-
morrow night. The clubs are said to te
stronger than ever, or fully as strong,
which is all that any one can ask. Many
of the football men of Harvard are
among the members of the two clubs.