davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
They Aim to Please.

Il didn't know yo' could read, Bre r
Downey." Downey apparently much
interested in his paper)-"Oh, yes, Use
read ebber since | wuz er boy" Den
how comes it dat yOu'Se readin' dat
paper upside down. Il always reads
dat way. Bre'r Downey. den TSe gets at
de bottom ob de fac'S without habing ter
read down de whole column
Brown-"And ! saw there a curious
affair. Really, l can't describe il. 1t
hadn't the likeness of anything that is
in heaven above, or that is in the earth
beneath, or that is in the water under
the earth" Fogg-Oh, see. 1t was
a prize cup WOE in some yacht race"
First Waiter-"Dar'S some mighty
mean folks in Boston. You notice dat
hatchet-faced man what Use been wait
in on?" Second Waiter-"What's de
matter wild him?" "He insulted me
wild dime" what did you do?" 81
accepted it wild indignashun."
Foreman paying him)-"Pat, don't
you like it better now being paid by the
week instead OF by the month";" Pat
'Indade | do not, SURF. When | got it
wanst a month it was little enough, and
now it's four times as small. .begorra"
"You should not have given up your
Sunday school class" Il had to; the
bows are getting to be such big fellows,
and they ask such embarrassing Ques-
tions. One Of them asked me TO marry
him"
"Move forward a little" roared the
street car conductor. II can't" gaSped
the man in front; Il don't know how to
ride horseback"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
He CIapped His Man on the Back.

10 was not a kind thing TO do, but he
was a young newspaper reporter, and
was, whether justly or unjuStly, regard
cd as fresh. His city editor sent him
I'D tOa meeting. and he started out a
little too eagerly. for he got the address
wrong. lie was not so familiar with
New York as reporters generally are,
and by the time he got the address
Strengthened out and found the correct
one the meeting was over and he looked
only upon closed doors.
On the elevated train he met three
other reporters going down to their
offices, and he told them his dilemma.
"Oh, it's lucky you got on this train,
said one brother newSgatherer. The
very man you want to see is on this
train. There he sits, down there in the
oSs-Seat-the old man with the UNI
brella and the gray beard
And he's a peculiar old chap, said
second man. "YOu have to know how
TO treat him. He's the President OF the
society, you know
you want TO be diplomatic put in
the third couSpirator You've got 70
let him see that you know him. You
want to come up behind him, clap him
on the back-a good, rouSing whack,
YOU Lnow-and say. Hello, Jenkins,
old boy. how did the little shindy come
of to-night?" Then he'll think he
knows YOU and will tell you the whole
story"
BE sure you crack him on the back,
was repeated.
''Oh, trust me-" said the young re-
porter with a confident smile. Down
the aisle he went, and reaching the
president" he gave him terrific thump
on the back. For one second there was
an awful calm. Then jenkins, old
boy" raised his umbrella and started
for the offender. IL was chase for
the door, the young man yelling out his
apologies. the old man frantically bran
dishing his umbrella and making VIC
lent whackS at the head Of his aSSail-
ant. The younger man reached the
door in advance, however, and darting
through il slammed il in the old man,
face. As the wrathful old gentleman
was returning TO his seat, red and pant
ing. three young men without con
sciences were letting out hOwlS OF laugh
fpr
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

On last wednesday. April lst, WIdey
Lodge No. ,. Daughters of Reoekah, heid
its second meeting since its second meeting
since il was resuscitated two weeks before
by Grand Master c. Schul. This lodge
is starting off with good membership OF
about thirty-five and the future looks very
bright. Regular meeting nights Will DE
every first aud second Wednesday oil eacn
month. the Grand Master being member
of this lodge he with his associate grand
officers installed the following officers
Louis Hoffman,, n. G.; Mrs. j. n. Spring
err, Y. G.: Thos. X. Bellville, Secretary
Mrs. G.. w. Fry, Treasurer; Mrs; IL.
Hoffman,. Warden; Harry Bone, Con-
ductor; VIM. Clark. l. G.; J. a. Taylor,
Chaplain; Mrs. j. w, Reddall, X. > 10
n G.: Mrs. J. Shorts, L. 5. TO n: G.;
Miss Maggie Roberts. r. S. TO '. G. Miss
Mary Clark, l. S. to Y. G.; Percy Hamll-
ton, Organist.
FRANKLIN Lodge No. 3, on Monday night,
April 9Th, will confer the third degree on
Brother. The work will be done, by
Friendship team No. /, and it is hoped all
members that possibly can will attend and
members of sister Lodges are cordially IN
vited 10 come and see the work.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
wOMAN's WAYS.
Some Things About the Brighter Sc, thu.
Men Do Not Understand.
Detroit Free Press
Detroit Free Press.

A woman sees more things in be,v.a
and earth than are dreamed of in MAJ.
philosophy.
She's as full OF sweetness and chart.
az man is full of mule-senSe and o,o
tism.
She can manage man by making ~,
vain hulk believe he manages her
She can tell you better how m,oL
principle there is in man to the SOMA
inch of his face than you could disco.
by months dealing with him.
She will marry man to "reformnbi,,
and though clothed in rags declare ,ba.
she is happy with the brute.
She can't throw stone because n.
isn't built that way; but she can f-o
world of pathos into an appeal n,
new dress that will burst the toygb...
purse strings asunder.
She is usually more adept at na.i..
matches than at striking them ea5
while she may not know how 10 ,b.-. .'l
knife, she can in two minutes hon
her tongue in a way that will mail.
sharper than a two-edged sword
She may not be able to jump fo,.
rallied fence, but she jumps to co,c'r
sions, and nine times out Of ten She ,s,.
there while man is reasoning II ,r
out.
She can quicken mans mental fac.
uties by giving him pieces Of her nina
She doesn't seem to feel the loss. eftbe-
True, she spends much of her time h..
fore the glass; but so does man orrv
his too often has bead on it.
According to some, she was called wo.
man because she brought woe 10 man
This Interpretation, however il no,
only not scriptural, but is not born nm,
by the facts.
She is also called aconundrum: but wa
will never give her up-never.
With all her faults, We love her sill
But, as she is seldom still, we shat
have to throw the mantle Of charity over
that one, too.
The perfect woman is a rara aris ami
should she, by any accident, cross Won,
path, young man, don't be diSappoIpr.
ed if you find her in quest Of perfec-
man
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
Monument for lookout mountain.

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn, April "A
Cincinnati sculptor has submitted de-
sign for monument TO be erected on
the submit OF Lookout Mountain, COM
memorating the valor of both armies
who fought on that historic battlefield.
The design comprehends lofty shaft
of marble in the foreground, with a
semi-circular colonnade or Grecian
temple in the rear, the whole standing
on marble plaza. The shaft will be
surmounted by Il statue of Peace, and
at its base will be Confederate and
Federal soldier shaking hands. In the
colonnade will be placed buSts Of famous
Generals of either side. and war relics.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
ELK COLUMN.

Wheeling Lodge, No. IS, is on the boom.
Bro. Chas. w. List, Exalted Ruler,
yields the gavel with dignity.
The Esteemed Leading knight, Bro. Ed.
Franzheim, is the handsomest officer OF the
Lodge.
Six new applications for our next meet
ing, April 9th.
Bro. Dan Heiskell, Chairman Elks Bene-
fit Committee, is hustlng.
Bro. Warner so far leads in the sale oil
tickets for the benefit.
The committee for the reunion at Louis
vile. in May, think there will be from 80
to 40 members go from here.
A ladies social session will be given in
the new hall in April
Bro. aanke reports that he has secured
twenty-three names at Charleston Tor
new lodge.
What's the matter with the new officers
having their photographs taken.
Bro. Bob Haase is quite deoater.
Bros. Gasmire, List, Franzheim ana
Harrison comprise the Elks' choir
Bro. Houser is serving his fourth year
as secretary.
Bro. Sam Harrison makes an excellent
Grand Esquire. ,
Look out for the Elks' benefit, April Sth,
"A Pair Of Jacks
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
Naming "A Limit.
Mar York Sun.


While waiting at the depot noticed
a colored man look into the room several
times, and he finally beckoned TO the
African who had just filled the water
cooler to come outside. The latter took
a coupling pin with him as he left the
room, and Strolled out 10 see what was
on the tapiS.
Look -heah, Abraham" said the
first, as the two came together, 81 has
come down heah prepaid to hurt yo'
mighty hard"
Better look out fur me, sah!'' re-
piled the second, as he waved the iron
pin.
''Yes. has come down prepaid to
hurt yo', but Ize gwine to give yo' a
chance. lie gwine ter be a gen len, is. "
What sort O. chance?'
"Ize gwine to let yo' pologize fur
sayin' was a no-account niger
I'm nebber do IT,.
Look out, Abraham"
"DOan' you jump on me-"
The man with the coupling-pin was
the smaller Of the two, and but for be-
ing armed with that weapon would have
been assaulted at once. The bigger man
didn't quite like the looks Of things, but
ne felt bound to retire honoraby. and,
after finding the other constantly on
guard, he said:
Il reckon you was mighty busy to-
day."
"Tolerable busy"
"Han't got much time to study up?'
mo, not much"
"An' if you was broke ali to pieces yo'
family would feel powerful bad?"
who's gwine to broke me?'
~ is de pusson dat could do it, san,
bnt OWN to my feelins fur dis railroad
an yo family coupled wild de fact dat
yo' is powerful busy jess now, lie gwine
to contain myself to some Odder Occa-
shun. Look me in de eye, boy. Now,
yo' lissen; yo' either 'pologize TO me
widin de next TO- vars, or I'll gin 20 de
moas' powerful batterashun any niger
eber tell Of in de State OF Souf Caro-
lima, Fo' vars, sab, sah-not anodder
day began Co Vars, an doan' you
disreckolect IT,"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

on an English race course are study.
They lay odds such as we never hear Of.
For instance, on the Czarwitch, ] saw
Mr.. Frye, one OF the largest "bookies"
in the kingdom, lay $4,000 against
So. 900 and win it. Fifty thousand dol
lars is frequently bet between two men,
and ! have heard of 100000 being wa
gered several times. There are plenty Of
romances about much larger sums being
put up, and it may be possible that In
some instances as high as two hum
dred thosand dollars have been
wagered by two men on single race :;
but these are exceptional cases hardly
worthy Of consideration in considering
this subject from my standpoint, except
as instances of the nerve which comes
of desperation. Ii seems queer TO Amerl-
cans TO watch these people bet. i he
bookmakers do business by word OF
mouth. and you rarely see among relia-
BILE "bookieS" any money pass. a lew
cheap gamblers take small bets where
the money goes into the box: but with
these people there is very little guaran-
tee of return, if game goes against
the dealer thought as ] saw thou
sands upon thousands of dollars wag-
cred without a penny passing how long
booklnaker could do business in our
country if he took no greater precau-
tiyns than they seem to here. Yet a
mans position who fails to pay his
gambling debts is anything but desir-
able. At Tattersall'S, in London, every
bookmaker settles his losses, or collects
his winnings, every Monday morning.
II he fails to pay he cannot do business
another day; If the gentleman who bets
with him does not square his losses at
the same time, his credit is gone, and
he is barred from association with gen
tlemen. FRANZ a. BURR.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

Chattanooga. One day the General ex-
pressed a desire TO have some honey.
There were some hives upon debatable
ground between the two armies. They
had escaped the hands Of the foragers
for some time. Turning to Belknap
one day, Uncle Billy said:
If you can find one convenient, cap
,ain. wish you would bring in good
bee-gum."
That was enough for the Michigan
captain. In iitTy he mounted his
horse and was of. With little squad
of troopers he made raid upon the
gums. After selecting the most likely
in appearance, he turned it over and
clapped the half of peep tent over the
open end Of il. A peep tent Is what
was termed shelter tent in the army oil
the Potomac After the gum was thus
secured il was lifted uD in front OF Bel
KNAPP, who was still aStride his horse.
He held it in place with his left arm and
gave free rein 70 his Steed.
Away he went at full gallop, headed
for Sherman's tent. The squad OF
troopers was at the heels Of his horse.
1t was soon apparent that the captain
was in trouble. The peep tent did not
remain in place. The motion OF the
horse lOOsened the cloth. IL could not
be- held over the mouth Of the gap.
The bees popped out and began to hum
ia the ears Of both charger and rider.
They struck the captain in the face
stung him in the back Of the neck
and pricked his hands, arms ana legS
with their tiny bayOnetS. They warmed
the horse until he became almost iran
tic. He shot ahead like an arrow. HIS
nose lay on line with his ears, and IN
his fury he switched the air with his
tail
The captain, however, chung to the
gum. Nor did he lose his presence Of
mind. He Steered the wild horse
straight for headquarters, amid the de-
risivl yellS of the soldiers along the
way. As be passed the open flap OF
Sherman's tent he threw the gum be-
meath little table, shouting: There 5
your damned honey
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
KNIGHTS OF HONOR.

From indications in the workings of
Alpha Lodge No. 424. a number OF good
applicants are TO be received into the broth
erhood of the good men and true, who think
a great deal Of their family and depend
ants, and pledge their time and labors in
the work of a noble order which provides
for the wants and protection of their loved
ones. when called from this earth to rest
from their labors As in the case of our
late brother. George w. Hess, who was
instantly called away from his family. he
had at the time of death paid into the lodge
fund SSG, out his family will receive in a
few DAYS :, 900. What wise provision
ne made for them, and why should not
those who were his friends follow his eX-
ample. 1t did not cost him seven cents a
day to be a member, but what valuable
gift the benefit certificate was to his
family
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

The captain whirled away like the
wind, leaving the general TO fight IL out
with the bees left in the gum. Uncle
Billy was for once surprised. Before
he fairly comprehended the situation a
bee jabbed him under the eye. Then
he got il on the fange of the ear. 1t
was too much. lie opened up his brim-
stone battery in 4 way that delighted
the guard at headquarters. More posi-
tive language was never heard. But
he held the fort-held it until he felt
the bees crawling up the legs OF his
trousers. Then he dashed from the tent,
a high-kicker. Nobody knew where he
went, but he seemed to be very unhap-
py. and was not again seen about head
quarters for several hours.
AMOS J. CUMMINGS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

in words of highest eulogy, but stand
by his grave in sadness and recall the
story of his life with new interest.
The duke OF Beaufort, who by the
way is one of the oldest stewards oil the
Jockey club, while showing the duke OF
Westminster, the richest man In the
world his horse Darlington, who start
ed, but ran unplaced in the Czarwitch
stake which went down TO see, SAID 10
me:
1--WE try to keep careful eye upon
all racing from the lowest TO the high
est. Newmarket, you see, Is little
place of only about seven thousand In
habitants. and most of its citizens live
for or upon the turf. They are trainers,
iockies. patrons or other people inter
ested in the development and handling
of race horses, and frequently you see
thousand of fine ones in training over
this down. There are training stables
all over the town, and each man VINO
handles race horses for himself or others
has all the comforts here that he could
find in London. OF course many men
train elsewhere, but very large per-
centage of the horses fitted or being
fitted for the turf make their pace at
Newmarket while being prepared Tor
their harder work. This is in many re-
spects more satisfactory TO all parties,
not only those who fit, bnt those who
lay out the plans for each years work .
How can so many horses be handled
here by so many different interests with
out conflict?
"Oh, that is easily accomplished. Each
trainer is assigned TO his position over
these fields and cannot go beyond IT,.
These little flags that look like the gull
dons Of a cavalry company indicate the
training grounds assigned to the dlifer-
ent stables. They have a chance both
on the tanbark course and the turf
which is laid out for them. We do not
permit them to use the course at all for
training or practice where the races are
run. 1t would injure the greensward,
and when the meeting was called the
turf would be worn out and all would
be dissatisfied. We pursue perfect
system, not only in regulating our
course, but in throwing around them all
possible safeguards"
The Judging here as well as the start
ing is much the same as with us. The
man who drops the flag, as well as the
man who decides the race, is well paid,
and their duties are less exacting than
on our big tracks. The book-makers
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

On of the best meeting that Welcome
Lodge has had for some time past was held
on Thursday evening The appearance of
the hall was nothing short of a transform
alton scene to the members as they came
in. During the past week an elegant Brus-
sells carpet had been laid, new furniture
and stove placed in position, the ceiling
and walls papered and beautiful chande-
lers hung. in fact, some of the members
thought they had got into the wrong place.
The most attractive feature of the whole
refurnishing, however. is the beautiful oil
painting of the emblems of the order,
so generously donated TO the
lodge by Brothers Wilkinson and
Alonzo Barley. It is worthy
of the fine frame that has been put on il by
the lodge. II is needless to say that the
goodlv number Of members present en-
loved themselves. They all believe that
Welcome Lodge has now one of the neatest
and handsomest halls in the city. Short
and interesting addresses were made by
Capt Vim. Travis, Rev. Bonnheim, Major
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

lD- army when 8 mere boy OF SiN-
seen. he won captain, commission
eita r year. He served .n the army
81 OBJ. Cumberland and became great
favo--.e with Gen sherman. The
co.o.r wa, an active member of the
Committee on Invalid Pensions in the
Iato congress. Cen. Clusters and many
aru-.- soldiers widow are Indebted 90
hr Or their pensions. ON the way
uac 20 Washington after the sherman
fu pageant be- tol0 many O. story of
aedd general Two remained im-
>-s upon the memories, % those who
hea-l chem.
a., colonel said that he was attached
GO rcr Carlin's division of the Four
tcCl-t corps. 10 was composed OF three
br.gsdes. Each OF the brisadcs had "a
good BRASS band. While on the march
O. rhC sea the music OF these bands
ugF-eued the burdens of many tired
ana teotsore soldier.
-ever shall forget one day in De
gen ger lS64, the cOione. continued.
"A- oonday our division halted at a
oea tul plantation. 10 recalled all
she 'sodal giOries oi tDe South. Uncle
billy aud his staff had followed as
clos. y. Fence rails disappeared, and
M,te ires were built The coffee was
siur cring when the genera. rode into
the vision. Preparations Cor his din
ner vsre also made.
.-TEe presence of Genera. sherman
aroused one of the brigade bands. Ii
srrur zap q martial air. The effect was
m1c.,al. The negro women Went into
ecst- 'eS They had heard no other
mas than the song Of the mockins-
bird ,he baying Of the hounds, and the
nc ..w twang Of the banjo. Their very
sou /, awOke 90 the new revelations 10
che world of harmony. The pleasure
-gas rrepreSs.ble When the iaStru-
s1e-l, gave a combined blast 10 seemed
go s-ertie them. You know that the
~ am mind is more susceptible ID
rlL> 80 Influences than any other, oul
r- -eg tres 4 brass BAND 90 stir 30 90 it'
soS - depths. What is there iu it thai
starts an the black girls and boys with
-u to1en blocks TO running In Wash
irc-o. when the strains of brass band
az, rcard? They have been born iu .
c.-y whose streets daily ring will
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05
Everv Man His own Doctor.

Those sufferers who follow the rule;
OF health laid down in the newspaper,
will be edited To learn from the PhdI'
Indcclitical RcriciC that cold can be
cured by bathing the feet in hot
water, shutting hot salt water for three
hours, remaining in warm room and
taking four hours active exercise IN
the open air"
When suffering from overStrained and
tired eyes, BATH them in hot water Sev
eral times day.
4 couple of figs eaten before break
fast are an excellent laxative, especially
for children.
For neuralgia. bruiSe horSeradiSh and
apply as a poultice TO the wrist.
For nausea lay little pounded ice on
the back of the neck.
Wet tobacco will relieve bee or waSE
StiurS
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-04-05

MUS . but nothing Stir> their blood IKE
hand. They flock 90 the sidewalks,
and eves. tongues and feet keep time 90
che music.
-~, with the band chat played for
~l.-.-tn. The negro women Hooked
70 ftr green from every direction. The
,,,-... put an uncomfortable movement
ir ,te.r feet and legs. They poured
r-o~. .hcir cabins, AN sizes shapes and
..ot,-s There were pickaninieS, young
girl, and old auntieS. all moving 90 the
rhv-hm Of the music. some were as
nlg.. as coal. others the color or luluoe
r.s~to and some almost pure white. Ihere
u,e-, woolly heads and curly heads
ars leads without kiuS iu their hair.
'rre-s were eyes that gu>tened Ike
-,fsfad ivory. eyes OF tawny color,
sr.l ewes Of heavenly blue that told of
-. onship 20 the white master. And
rhe- tbe dresses. All were similarly
--o--cd A bandaGna. % gay kerchiet
.- -r.rban was wound around the mead,
.rr cotton dress was gathered 40 the
v,.>- with pickering string. Inc
>t-. feu halfway between tne Knee ana
r-.. Slc. The stockings were warrant
81 ro- 90 crack, for nature supplied
-r.- The shoes were coarse. Ihey
uc-. 40 uuderciothing.
..Wr,n they were once upon the green
-b.-r WAS am extraordinary scene. Inc
hand struck mp lively air, aud the sol
5,.-. .Draug 90 their feet. They chose
---.rs from the slaves. and there was
-nr..v dance. For hours the iun last
The other TWO bands came up and
.--t..- turns relieved the hrStoue. The
mus. was continuous Neither the
b,rJ. nor the dancers were winded.
NOV, sherman did enjoy TO-. For TWO
bo-.-~ he sat upon the yeronda Watching
~. -reue His eyes twinkled with
v,e--.rcnt. aud at times he broke out
5-+r rearty laughter. Soldiers who had
co- -o.chcd Che hem OF woman 5 dress
$3.50 wears were radiant with happi-
ve-> Clasplng the mulatto girls IN
rf.s- arms they whirled them TO the
-,-s of lively waltzeS or induiged
-hr~ IN ubas and breaSdowus mere
a.. rYre. unalloyed fun for all, from
10. GENERALS down 20 the mule drivers.
Y- o-,>a gala day in the march 70 tine
60, rift I'm the cloud Of war. And
-c,. of the boys laughed louder and
1or-e- at the breakdownS and pigeon
wlnc> eat at Shady Dale than IecumSeh
sherman himself.
...ong other incidents rccouuted by
~. ge'kpao was one that occurred IN
-. GaD sherman was near