The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1891-06-06
HOW JOSH KEPT HOUSE,

nonsense! 4 m Dlalneu II L sec why II
right smart woman can't git her work
done, an have an easy timo of it half Of
her time. Now, if was a woman, I'd
have some spunk about me, an I'd do
like
Now, Josh Phlatlsins, you needn't go
about telin me how your mother used
to do, an all that, cause I've heard the
old lady say herself them very same
words, as is. "A wOmans work is never
done tell she's in her grave"
"Well anyhow, Marier, I'm mighty
sure that IL was woman could do
your work an have a good, easy time
every day Of my life"
Il s'pose then, Josh, you wouldn't
mind tryin' it while, bein' q MANI"
asked the wife, pausing in washing the
breakfast dishes, and glancing cynically
to where her spouse SAB smoking a corn
cob pipe, and looking through last
months Farmers Tribune.
@Eb2" asked Josh, looking up.
She repeated her question.
4rve thought Of that same thing my
self, he replied, Aonly didn't know
how you could git along with my work. "
"Oh, you needn't worry yourself bout
that, Josh. | kin do your work if you'll
do mine.
Mrs. Phlatkins felt safe in promising
this, for when Joshua was seized with
his semi-annual rheumatic, she had
had the whole thing TO attend to many a
time. Josh seemed to forget this, in his
sudden solicitude for the welfare of his
business.
@You'll have to hitch up, and be keer-
full with that off colt, cause he's skeery
of the railroad crossin'. Be sure an
water them at Smiths well; an don't
let 'em drink too much. Take that but
ter to Squire Rubin's, an the punkin to
Jones's, an the corn to Shears ware
house; an don't forgit to order bar'l Of
salt, Marier, an some bolts for that ma
chine"
"Oh, I'll remember everything" said
Mrs. Phlatkins. "An' now I'll tell you
your work for the day. You jest want
to finish these dishes first; then wash out
that basket of clothes an hang 'em out
to dry; scrub the floor an churn that
butter; it orto come quick to-day, cause
the creams just right. By that time the
bread'n be ready to bake; an you might
put ON some beans an squash an taters
to cook at the same time, for you an
Dams dinner. After you get the dinner
things done you can can them two buck
cts of plums; then, while you're resting,
like, you might mend that basketful of
Esocks, an put patch on Dams everyday
pants. Then you kin git supper, an I'll
try to be back in time to eat it an tell
you what to do next.
After giving these explicit directions,
Mrs. Phlatkins proceeded to do her hus-
bands errands ia the town; while Joshua
began most systematically the tasks
that were to be as play to his superior
| tact.
The washing was done in no time, and
] the clothes all hung on the line in good
array. 10 be sure he did not rinse nor
wiring them; but these operations were
only consumers of time, anyway; and
they looked beautiful, as they waved
their bright blue (albeit streaked) folds in
the sunlight.
1t seemed all foolishness to let the
lbread stand around so long, when il
might just as well be in baking.
an just put it in now with the other
things, an build up good hot fire, an
by the time git this butter churned the
whole balxin' will be done, an every
thing, A" thought Josh; 50 he built roar
ing fire, and went merrily to his churn
ing. After bobbing the dasher for II
minutes, Joshua peeped into the churr
to see how things were progressing il
there.
At that exact moment there arose ;
dreadful screeching in the back yard.
"That blamed hawk after them chick
ems again!" muttered Joshua, dropping
the dasher and mailing dive for his olC
smooth bore, which contained a goot
charge of fine shot, for use on such occa
sions.
Pushing toward the barnyard, he espie'
large hawk just rising with one of hi
most promising young pullets, while a
the other p. Y. P's were rending the al
q with their shrieks and skier draw cuts.
Bangl Down dropped the pullet wit
q thud and "kuck!" which was his las
word to his brethren. Down went JOSH
? ua with an "Ohin and I-didn't-know-it
was-loaded sort Of expression on his phil
Up went the hawk to circle in the all
hungry as ever, but none the worse fc
his great scare.
In the barn there was an old gray jacl
ass who had been noted as a kicker
? his younger days, and had never ou
grown the propensity entirely. No
Mrs. joshua Phlatkins had neglected
give Jack his measure of corn and oaf
:. that morning. Jack had been on h
good behavior for several days, and wa
nearly ripe for good old fashioned kicl
b, but had refrained from indulgence fC
lack of sufficient cause. When the houl
went slowly by and no corn appeare'
ID Jacks ears moved forward viciously; bl
- still he refrained from rash actions, as
good old mule should. When, howeve
that "bangl" came, Jacks youthf
vigor began to return.
"Sleshl Crashi"-with every successi'
kick a board few from the barn in
space; stats, boards, studding, everythiI
MGuh NOMA uNAOAC AAAn AAbAAhCOuo AuA
Not until everything within his reat
was kicked out of reach, did Jack stop
cd rest, and oondescend to eat the corn whit
d. his master forwarded.
A litter Of young pigs that had be-
shut in the barn went squeaking throut
= the newly made door, and Joshua spe
much valuable time getting them penn
up out of reach Of an old gentleman h
who was jealous Of them, and deemed
his duty TO devour them.
B. Thus il was that when Joshua return
to the house he found the fire wanin
after renewing it he recommended }
he churning
WONDERFUL never heerd Marier 8
Ith that butter would churn itself! mutter
~ J;ohest of All IN 7 ,aa,,ar;,,,r