The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-06-01
WHEN MAN IS A FOOL.

When he CANDLES.
When he thinks he is masher."
When he won't pay his honest debts.
When he plays at another mans game.
When he imagines himself Jay
Gould.
pedia.
When he thinks ,he is better man
than any one else.
I When he can put his name to an un-
known mans note.
When he laughs and jeers at another
mans failings.
When he talks politics to the detri-
ment of his business.
When he tries to be dude on a salary
of 81 month.
When he thinks he is the only Christ
ian pillar in town.
When he tries to tell what mean peo-
pie his neighbors are.
When he uses profane language to
emphasize an ordinary remark.
When he thinks the world is a hard,
mean, bad place, just because he has the
toothache.
When he says another man is fool
and scoundrel before analyzing his own
doubtful record.
When he attempts to pass himself off
as single man and has wife and six
children at home.
When he thinks he can keep family
>of nine children and three saloons on
one dollar day.
When he pays ten dollars for soap to a
man on the streets.
When he tries to cut ice and drink
whiskey at the same time.
When he takes another man to be a
bigger fool than himself
When he thinks he can spend as much
money as man who makes ten times
his salary.
When he keeps his children from
school because their clothes are a little
ragged.
When he thinks others will do more
for him than they can do for themselves.
When he does not take his home paper
because he has some little dislike for the
editor.
When he thinks that Major Handbury
is friend of the portage road.
When he thinks he can get as much
news in any other PAPER as he can in
the CHRONICLE.
When he thinks he can do a successful
business without advertising.
When he thinks his life is safe in rid
ing ON the Union Pacific railroad.
Secretary Foster appears to be getting
what the boys call tfrattled" over the
condition of the treasury. To quiet the
alarm created by the announcement that
he intended to extend the outstanding
AZ per cent bonds at 2 per cent, instead
of receeming them when they mature
September the first next, which would.
have been done under Cleveland's admin
istration, he had his director of mint fur
nish statement to the press which
made it appear that the enormous sum
OF $25S 100000 was available to pay any
debts or appropriation. This was SO
absurd that Mr.. Foster had himself in
terviewed in order that he might say
that he did not altogether endorse that
statement. He then proceeds to figure
out an available cash surplus of $40 900,
600 and to naively inform the country
that he also considers the $1OO, ,OOO, 900 in
gold, which has always been regarded as
reserve held against the $3.50, ,0O0, 900
greenbacks in circulation, to be available
cash, and that he will not hesitate to use
1T If 1T comes to a pinch. Notwithstand-
ing these statements the daily balance
sheet of the treasury shows surplus of
less than $12,000,000.
Baby is sick.-The woeful expression
OF Des Moines teamster's countenance
showed his deep anxiety was not entire
ly without cause, when he inquired of a
druggist of the same city what was best
to give baby for cold? 1t was not ne
cessary for him to say more, his counte-
IIduCe SuOWeQ InaC Cno pet OF Cne family,
if not the idol of his life was in distress.
eve give our baby Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy was the druggists answer
81 don't like to give the baby such strong
medicine" " said the teamster. You know
John Oleson, of the Watters-T Talbot Print
ing Co., don't you? inquired the drug
gist. "His baby, when eighteen months
old, got hold of bottle of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy and drank the whole of
it. OF course it made the baby vomit
very freely but did not injure it in the
least, and what is more, it cured the ba-
by's cold. The teamster already knew
himself, and was now satisfied that there
was no danger in giving it even to
baby. For sale by Snipes & Kinersly.
Notice.