The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1891-11-07
Cur 0lio.
WHEN WE GO VISITING.
From the Edinburg Magazine.

Suppose we were to have little talk
over the duties Of the visitor. often see
the duties of the hostess laid down, and
great preachments they are, to be sure, but
seldom do we hear the other side of the
story. When you are invited and accept
the kind bidding, you bethink yourself first
of your clothes, in nine cases out of ten.
That first duty of making creditable APP
pearance is naturally paramount when you
feel you are leaving the sanctum of home
and going among strangers, who will GER
tainly notice, and mayhap criticise all that
is new to them in your outward makeup.
But the irreproachable silk, the delicate
lawn and the ,flmy lace are in due time
accomplished, the plentiful store of hgnerie
and gloves, and the well-shaped boots and
slippers are tucked into cosy corners of
your Saratoga, and with ticket bought, and
route well conned, | invite you to consider
whether or no your duties are ended
You are going to be made much Of enter
tanned and taken care of, and, in return,
ydn. 'ust do more than look nice. 1t has
be.,ctice of mine never, iffNl5-77 Yoeuat6la
to heightened hospitality, TsIeYareset.her
vebn that | find the part Of ggqs5ts e.osC,
wfPperly played ,rather iauguing.
Bd ttlel s;-iscoF, l!Rits-say of two or three
day s;a-week, even fortnight-one can so
conduct oneself as to be missed and re-
GREETED after one is gone, which is nice and
soothing to ones self-love, is it not?
think little about my hostess before
finish packing, and slip in some suitable
rife Of work, which shall occupy my spare
moments during my stay, and become my
parting souvenir to her when | leave. Is
she Il dainty housewife? Then the modish
linen tray cloth and doyleys, adorned with
drawn work, and her initial, shall reach
the appreciative corner of her heart. Is
she weakly and an invalid? Then the gift
rounds into cushion-cover for her sofa,
or handkerchief pocket to fasten on its
arm, and both must have tiny sachets con-
ceaed in their whereabouts. scented with
her pet perfume, which it is easy to dis
cover unsuspected. Is she the man-girl,
with high collar and broadtoed shoes
Then tennis belt, or a racquet case may
reach her complaint, and secure me CRATE
full memories. Is she busy mother, whose
wee ones drag upon her time? / can teach
the children many little kindergarten
game, aud merry song, and delt handiwork
that shall secure her priced leisure for
hours, and while | amuse and instruct
them, | can fashion two or three cute little
morning caps or lace confections for after
noon, such as her husband will admire, but
which she could never take time or thought
for. Or am | sojourning with large fam
lily whose work is manipulated by one will
ling but dilatory Biddy. | can select some
little daily duty-dusting the drawing
room, watering the plants, feeding the
birds, filling the vases, and beg gently that
may be allowed to attend to it all myself.
THE flowers miss Nellie" said genial
housemother to me one day, as we sat on
her verandah among the flower stands.
while she was with us she took the whole
care of them, and they never did so well.
Dear, dear; | wish Janet had been able
to stay the whole winter with us. She
brought those young ones into shape,
taught them to play quietly, and be so gen
tie with the little ones, said busy father
as he gazed from three fine boys to the
train carrying Janet TO her northern Scot
fish home And so it is; the careful, tact
full help, given without any fuss or obtfu-
siveness. was treasured to the credit of
Nellie and Janet
Once had a dear old lady visiting me,
who used to insist upon setting and clear
ing away the table for every meal At
first my maid erumbed and protested, and
looked scornfully at the unique arrange
ment of knife, fork and spoon, but after
little she began to relish the rest from
those six daily tasks, and ceased to step in
the way and fret and fume as the old lady
trotted carefully in and out from pantry to
dining-room, and from dining-room to
kitchen. And, when the white-haired,
smiling visitor had taken her departure,
had often to recall the maid to the forgot
ten duty, when | came into the dining
room, at nearly dinner hour and found
the cloth uot laid, and was amused to hear
her mutlered soliloquy: 81 wish that old
lady would come on a six months visit
twice year."
Not very pure hospitality, perhaps you
say, just valuing ones guests for what one
gets out OF them. Dut THESE small ser
vices have quoted are worth so little, that
| cannot think their value could account
for the vacuum left when such guests quit
the mansion.
1t seems hardly necessary to warn the
visitor of the sacredness of any confidence
which may be placed in her, or which she
may unintentionally become mistress of, in
her friends home. And yet, how else do
little disagreeable personal scandals spread,
If not from the forgetfulness of this plain
duty. Let the events of the daily life we
are called upon to share, be they tragic or
amusing, or scandalous or commonplace,
be far from becoming a subsequent gossip.
We have eaten the salt and broken the
bread of our hosts, and mayhap, have been
surprised at some of their secret faults or
foibles, but it is our sacred duty to keep
our knowledge to ourselves, and by follow
ing this course, and using tact, sympathy,
patience and unselfshness in full measure,
we shall be always among the welcome
visitors.
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