The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-08-27
PuNaENr PARAGRAPHS.

= -She-"1 don't believe In long en-.
gagementA do your He %; people
are apt to and out too many things
shout each other. z Boston News =.
Heard g Brighton Beach. -Enthu-
siast Don't you think Wagner is On.
gelic?" Materialist- swell, that's hard
to tell; he's dead, you know. Brook
lyn Esgle. ~ -. :.
b Did You take much exercise during
the winter?'' mo-, Il thought you
were such . firm believer in physical
culture" so / am; attended every
lecture delivered upon the subject" -
Light. 49,. 49, as.. .....+ 49,. -z-.+ -
An Ideal Wife. - Husband - ..No
blue stocking for me. Anignorant wo-
man makes far better wife" Wife
Am good wife, John?'' Husband
Eyes, you are an ideal one" ~ Yankee
Blade.
One Less. Anyway.'-"Henry," she
whispered. ''why don't you say some
thing:' "Because," he answered, be.
tween his teeth, II have just swallowed
. mosquito, and don't want him to e.
cape."-Columbus Press.
.-Citizen-'I hear you are running
for Officer" Candidate-''Yes, a rlonth
ago placed myself in the hands Of my
friends. :" 'How are you now?'' II would
like to borrow fifteen cents to get . dairy
lunch. "-Baltimore American.
In the Chicago Swim.-First brothe +
lin Chicago)-"Are you going to that
. five o'clock tea?' Second brother.
''No." First brotAer-'Th1n let mo
wear your Prince Albert. I've got fan.
mel shirt st Louis Amenities.
WELL" said father-in.law, after
mother-in-law had returned from a visit
to the young couple, what sort of a
fellow Is John?" ''I'm afraid he's not
good for much" said mother-in-law.
He reminds me very much of you"-
Harper's Bazaar.
MIR. Townly-"1 got q letter from
your cousins to-day" Mrs Townly-
Inviting us to spend the summer, of
course" Mr. Townly-"No; stating
that they do not intend to run . charity
hospital this season. IN. Y. Herald.
1t Meant About the Same
"What discount will you allow me on
engagement rings?" Maiden Lane Jew
! eler-'Are you in the trade?" Jack.
i mo; but I'm going to summer at New
port. "-Jeweler's Weekly.
Observation-Disclosures don't sec why
you call Miss White homely. I'm sure,
wish were half as good looking az
! she isl Fred-''You are. Ethel, you
! know you are" And Ethel is wonder
ing whether he means to compliment
her.-N. e. Magazine.
Pretty Girl Ito salesman)-''I want
to buy hammock strong enough to
) hold up three" Salesman - ''Sorry.
miss, but our hammocks will only hold
up two" Pretty Girl Enthusiastically
-"Well, no matter, I'll take one.-Bos
ton Herald.
A flying frog was recently caught
in Pennsylvania and now flying rabbit
has been captured in Missouri If it
were not for the fact that once in awhile
flying banker is caught, there would
. be reason to fear that man had fallen
! behind the rest of the animals in the
important particular of inventing fly
ing machine.-Dctroit Free Press
Two Pictures -Observant Son -
Papa, what a splendid car! Look al
the silver service and the plush and vel.
vet and curtains. Who are the men in
it," Papa-''That's the directors car,
and the occupants are having a regular
jambOree." o. Sand who's that
seedy old fellow eating hard boiled eggs
and crackers in that emigrant carp
Papa-''Oh! that's only one of the heavy
stockholders on his way to see why he
doesn't get any dividends. Pittsburgh
, Rn11o+in