Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-07-16
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

DIDN'T git no pwize climbin' de
creased pole, did We, Eph?" ':No: but
L got bout poun' O tol'able lard
Horper's Boear.
;. ooME men live to eat and some eat to
llVe, or, IN other words, some live for
grub and others grub for a living
Indianapolis Journal.
My son define ambition" "WeU.
Its always feeling that you want to do
something that you know you can't."-
Lies Calendar.
STICKY (supel-'I want me tree dol
lars, seeT' Manager-'TeIl Props that
said he should give you the stage dia-
monds. "-JeWelers' Circular.
1HE deacon sang that good old song
There is a fountain filled with Blood"
JUST then skeeter lit on him
He smote him with a sickening thud,
-NeeO York Herald.
sEEpY 1NDIvIDUAL-"I Introduce me to
your friend"
Jones-"Not much; I'd rather lend
you the money myself. "-Harper's b.
Ear.
LADY CUsToMER.-"Tha pair of slip
pers l bought of you short time ago
have worn out"
Clerk-'Bad leather, ma'am?"
DSrie.
III sat on my joke"
That was safe"
"Safe %
eyes. There wasn't any point to it,
Jury.
J1MMY-"Guess de boss takes me fer
skyrocket." Tommy.-"How's that?"
Jimmy-'I asked him could he let me
Oft on de Fort, an he tells me to con-
slider myself fired. "-Indianopolis Joae'-
ndl
FIRST CoNv1cr Ito his cell-mate) CAN
yer never chawed or drank in yer life ?"
Second Convict (gloomily
First Convict-"Aw, don't try any O.
yer temporary rackets on me!
| amt no juryman. "--Petck.
JoHNNY-"Sav, Uncle Geo, God didn't
make everything, did hep
Uncle Geo-"Guess He did, Johnny"
Johnny-"Don't see how that can be.
cause Sis beau was here last night and
| heard Sis say he made himself at
home. "-Boston Courier.
"YoU say this brand of champagne is
So a bottle and this one SIS. What is the
difference between them"
Waiter somewhat astonished) :
"Why, sir. it ought to be plain. One is
blue label and the other white. "-Phl-
adelphia Times
Mrs. Puggsly-"I am going to Europe
this summer
Mrs. Spaniel-"Indeed? ?"
Mrs. Puggsly-"Yes The doctor has
recommended sea voyage for Fido."-
Puck.
THE MYSTERY UNRAvELLED. Simpson
81 wonder what kind of line it is
that Budkins uses when he goes fishing.
1t always breaks just as he is landing
the biggest fish you ever saw"
Sniffer-"It's nothing but yarn. ~
Detroit Free Press.
He wears flannel suit of white,
A sailor hat of straw;
His shoes are TAM his necktie light
You gaze on him with awe
He strolls across the sac sea sand
And Yields palm leaf fan
While listening to the hotel band
He is the Summer Man!
-NeeO York Herald.
Miss YoUNGTH1NG-''What tune is that
they're singing"
Miss Oldgirl-''Wh don't you know
that? It's Greenville. My mother
used to sing me to sleep with that when
| was child"
Miss Youngthing ooh, yes, I knew
it was frightfully old."-Boston Courier.
''DE off mule done broke he lef him
leg dis mornin', massa," said Nose.
Elbow did he come to do that % asked
Col. White.
ct was his own fault, massa. When
dis yer darkey's back was turned de
wufiess animile he kick me on de head,
massa. Epoch.
A1GERNoN-"I've a widdle for you,
Miss Miwanda. Why are childWen like
tooth bwushes?" Miranda-"l don't
know Why are they?" Algernon-
See ne 20 Miranda rehs (fpigidly)N"No, don't
see: not having any children" AL
gernon (blushing)-"Oh, of course not;
but vou-you-you have tooth brush,
YOU know."-Kate Fields Washington.
The New GoLcoNDA.-Patsy (the
tramp)-"Say, Gull, I've discovered the
Golcondy we want to 90 to. It's India"
Birdby (the tough NAV What's
the beauties of India ?' Patsy-"List-
en-! In India soap is considered a
natural curiosity, an there amt an
ounce of it used a year. Do we 60 ~
Birdby-"We 60. "-Light.
How to prepare cat: To one part
cat add two parts stone Ia rusty Hat
iron will dol. Soak in cold water over
night and letsimmer until done. When
the water ceases to bubble the cat is
done. This preparation is recommended
to cure insomnia and to prevent the
litterine of the back yard with house
hold utensils Detroit Free Press.
ABAD BREAK.-Dr. W orkum (wrath)
-"W here is the blooming chump who
put up that last prescription for Mr..
Shaker? ' Druggist humility The
head clerk, sir; he has gone to dinner.
I trust there is nothing wrong" Dr.
wrong? Well, | guess. Why, the ass
take Tor sugar of milk, and Shaker has
cot rid of that ague. "-Pharndceuttcat
Era.
Keep Cool.