Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1891-09-19
PITH AND POINT.

"Mamma, said Willie, "open your
mouth wide, want TO see your voice,
-Bdsdr.
A Digot is a man who is dead sure OF
something he doesn't know anything
about Puck.
A bonnet covered with birds does not
ling, but it makes man whistle when
The bill comes in Teeai Siftiags.
The Venetiaus number about 400, 900,
aud a great many Of them come under
the head of the floating population.
"rm not in it, sorrowfully sang the
mosquito, as he Duzzed on the outside Of
he netting. -BiaghamtoH Republican.
"a fool aud his money are parted sooa ~
It's fact both true AMI funny.
Some girl In society gets the fool,
Aud his friends divide tho money.
Truth
Everything that glitiors Is not gold"
unused the ring fakir as he disposed Of
the whole lot for live cents. -Je,Selers'
Circular.
Night Clerk -''IIow does Il seem 10
be hotel watress3" New Girl-o'It
seems as II was maid to order. "--Baf.
falo Express.
PlumduiT-"Docs your wife talk IN
her sleepl" Plane Don't know she
always talks me TO sleep first. "-Biag.
hdmton Republican.
''No, sir, said the shoe manufacturer.
al can't sell the goods at that price I'm
a shoemaker, not freebooter. "--Shos
and Leather Exporter.
First Deadly Enemy--"The world Is
wide enough for us both" Second
Deadly Enemy--"Yes; but il "a not deep
enough for you."-PHek.
To catch 1y Is regarded by most
people as very cruel sport. 10 ba'eball
circles II is considered positively brutal
to miss one.-Nen York Mems.
Love may level rank, but il is rank
oifense, just the same, for the second
lieutenant TO fall in love with tho colo.
nel's daughter Someroiiie Journal.
Many a man who hides his light under
bushel only does 40 ia the hope that
the fame Of the burning basket may II.
lumine bis posthunous fame. - Paek.
When something has parted a married pair.
II Sots all the neighbors hum ming,
And the most Of thsn you will hsir dsalars,
They knew that tho thing was coming
Vew York Press.
He-"Aw, Miss Emily, you seem
10 have your mind on something"
She-''Far from il, Mr. Dudley;
was thinking Of you. '-DstroD Free
Press.
Amy-"Is 1t true that your engage
ment with Mr.. Hunker Is broken OFF,
Mabel (holding up her left hacdD mo;
you can see for yourself that an still in
the ring. "--Paek.
Employer--"Thompson, you are dis
charged" Employe what have
done, sir}1 Employer Nothing.
plain about. "-BaSar.
Wife-"Let me send for DR.. Killman.
You said some one recommended him
highly Sick Husbaud-''I don't want
him, dearest The man who recommended
him is an undertaken. Jury.
When a young man first meets an ex-
perienced coqucttc he il apt TO think how
artiess she Is; before she gets through
with him he is pretty sure 70 think how
heartlcss she is Soneroiiie JoarRal.
Speak gently: It Ia better far
To make a soit reply,
Than 10 have a bigger fellow mar
The OUTLINES Of your eye.
--CommsrciGi Gazctte.
"Did any man ever kiss you before, dar
hnE1" Extraordinarily No, Edward, you
are the first" And the recording angel
didn't need to drop tear 70 blot out the
ib, for he was the frat that bad kissed
her that day Ba6alo Ezpres
Small Bfother-''Pa says he wishes
you'd make haste and propose 70 sis"
Young Mau-"Then he is willing 10
let her marry met" Small Boy--"Taint
that. He says you won't come 20 often
after you have been kicked'-Brookyu
LIE.
Miss 5tuyyesant--'g have been shop
ping to-day, papa, and ! wish you'd ar
range to be at home when the things
come. have ordered everything G. D.
d." Mr.. s.-"Ah, yesl understand;
that means Call Ga Dad. Mem Yors
Hsrs
':What did you do all day1" James
Speeding was once asked by curious
friend, on the occasion Of his having
consented, with his habitull readiness to
take part in whatever was going for
ward, to join water party. 81 spent
the time be replied, sin wondering
why the vessel was called a pleasure
boat"