Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-01-07
HOW HE EARNED A LIVING.
BY FRED BAYHAM.


steal, who have no property nor any ap-
parent source of income, yet they wear
clothes, eat meals and sleep under a
good roof, like the rest of us?
We have habit of speaking with con-
tempt of these people, as though they
were beneath us in the social scale
Are we not really in secret little
envious of their originality and cour
age?
If one should, for example try the
simple rule of "put yourself in his
place."
You, now, who make a living by
some occupation, commonplace but reli-
able, suppose you were to wake up to-
morrow in a strange place, without
money or friends, and with all work
prohibited-what would you do? How
would you arrange about breakfast, and,
subsequently,, about dinner and supper
and a bed, and then numerous meals
be frightened? Would you not be at a
loss what to do? Well, that is where
you ould show your inferiority to those
Of whom we speak.
It must be admitted that they could,
If they wished, earn plain, honest liv-
ing, as we do; whereas could We by the
exercise of all our wits, exist week aft
er their fashion? En- efa, there you
have the whole matter.
Before / undertook study of these
singular beings had always thought of
them as class by themselves, pursuing
for the most part similar methods. To
live without work, constituted in my
mind profession, like law or the minis
try. / wronged them. | did not ap
preciate their fecund originality. There
is no profession that is common to them
all, but each has his own, complete in
itself, unique and delicate as the minia-
ture carved work of the Japanese.
To tell Of them is to tell OF individuals,
not of the class.
There was one who recently came to
live at the very respectable boarding
place of the present writer. He was, as
the naturalists would say, an excellent
well-dressed and correctly hammered.
There are some of this class who have
low habit of making a pretence of earn
ing living. They will maintain an
Office with "Real Estate" or 'ssCommis-
sion,' or something of that kind, on
the door. To no such stupid yulgaritv
did Richard Kerth descend. Not
even a suggestion of work cast cloud
upon his title of gentleman"
had known something of the previ-
Gus career of Mr.. Kerth. and when he
took possession of two of the best rooms
in the house [ fastened to make his
acquaintance. He treated me with easy
copdescension, and soon offered to bor-
row money of me.
| did not loan Mr.. Kerth any money.
1t was, indeed, for long time, source
Of quiet satisfaction to me that while a
number Of others, in plain view on all
sides, were being taxed for the support
of this American peer, [ was exempt.
But one day, when [ was being meas
ured for an overcoat, my tailor asked
me what knew about Richard Kerth,
and told me that he owed $50 on suit
of clothes. [ answered Shearsby that
thought he had better charge it
up to profit and loss. He immediately
proceeded to do so. The overcoat which
[ ordered was more expensive by S.
than | had expected, and possibly
about nine ether Of Shearsby's Gus
toners suffered similar amount of in
direct taxation.
As time passed | gained more and
more of Mr.. Kerth's confidence. [
knew just enough about his past per-
formances to make him think that my
silence was useful commodity, and he
sought to purchase it with trankness
He was, however 10th to betray his
secret all at once, but prepared me be-
forehand by various significant hints
to appreciate better its mysterious ma
ture.
One evening, when he was smoking
one Of my cigars before my fire, he said,
II am getting very hard up; / must raise
some money"
[ said. chow will YOU do it?'
II have a method of my own" he
answered, "whicheI apply whenever I
am in need of ready cash.
What is it like?"
He smiled with, the. smile of sphinx
as he replied:
II call it a system of absence"
On several occasions he made use of
phraseology similar to the above. For
example, once he said to me: 81 get
good enough living out of not being in
certain places at certain times" Fur
Their he would not explain.
About this time his creditors, of
whom the crop seemed to be perennial,
began to press him close, and it was
should presently come to the rescue, he
was lost, that is, lost i'll the same way
that he had been lost many times be-
fore. In the nick of time the money
came, however, and he proceeded, with
the skill of practical debtor, to make a
small stream of cash irrigate a vast area
of credit. This being accomplished, he
was at ease again; and one night, over a
bottle of wine and cigars, he told me
how he had raised the money.
"It wasn't much," he said carelessly
five or six hundred. [ manage to
raise that sum about four times a year.
IF you understand how to make it go
good as twice that, you know. Now I'll
I'll you. / have, back East, a number
. srelatives-rich.r respected and all that.
Money comes from them. Easy
enough, you think? Well, [ wonder.
[ am the black sheep of the outfit
scapegrace, you know. And do you
imagine they would ever give up bean
for me if | did not come at en- with
something worse than gun? Why, sir,
the whole bloody layout is SO mean,
and they hate me SO, that, | give you
my word, if / were roasting in the lowest
depths Of Sheol, there isn't one Of 'em
would loan you fork to go and see if
/ was done Nc, sir That's the kind
Of citizens they are. But [ notice
they come up pretty regular just the
same"
He ficked the ashes from his high