The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-12-23
TEMPERANCE NOTES.
GAVE HIS HAIR FOR DRINK.

/
How Tom and Jerry Spoiled = Thanki-
giving and Broke an Engagement.
"When first came to Kansas City,
some twelve years ago." said q COM
mission man to two or three friends
who were enjoying cigar in his Office
the other day: lone of the first young
| fellows met here was Jim McNerney.
That wasn't his name, but l call him
Jim because his name was John, and
McNerney is near enough his name so
that those who knew him at all will
easily recognize him by the story am
about to tell.
II haven't thought of Jim before for
a long time, and the way happened to
think of him to-day the day before
Thanksgiving, is that this little Incl
dent happened on Thanksgiving day.
AS you all know, we don't usually get
much cold weather here before
Thanksgiving, and many of us who
came from the east and were in the
habit of making Tom and Jerry .
Thanksgiving drink were apt not to
be able to find it on tap at the usual
places where such drinks are dispensed
on that day. But on this particular
Thanksgiving we had had few days
of cold weather with snow just previ-
GUS, and on coming down to the office
after breakfast thought would stop
in at Bishop a. Christie's and see If l
couldn't find fresh bowl of the steam
ing decoction. Sure enough, occupying
the place of honor in the center of the
bar was the big bowl of golden
ctsstard, and was just about to drink
down liberal sized mug when who
should walk in but Jim.
"Now, Jim was considerably addic-
ted to the flowing bowl. In fact, he
was noted for getting hilariously in.
toyicated and kicking in the Office
door and demolishing things generally.
After each of these sprees he would
register solemn oath never to get full
again, and just SO sure when the
proper time came aroundhe would do
the same thing over again.
swell, as l said in came Jim and Of
course had to invite him to drink
which he did with great gusto, and as
was his usual custom he struck me for
dollar, for Jim was constitutionally
broke. 1 gave him dollar and
went out and thought no more about
him. About midnight, just after had
returned from little whist party, the
; door bell rang and was called to the
door. There confronted big police
man, who told me that friend of
mine by the name of McNerney had
been arrested for creating disturb
ance and wanted me to come down
and bail him out. At first l was in.
clined to let him stay there, bit know
ing if he didn't show up at his Office in
the morning he would lose his job
concluded would 60 down.
"When got to the station Twas
shown to the cell where he was locked
up, fast asleep by this time, and went
in to wake him. When he stood up
finally and looked at me didn't rec
ognize him. When had seen him in
the morning he wore a full beard and
long. curly hair, but now he was clean
shaver and his hair was clipped as
closely as jail-bird. l took him up
stairs, deposited fifteen dollars for his
fine, and took him out in the air and
proceeded to sober him up. When he
had regained his senses sufficiently to
talk asked him what was the matter
Tom and jerry was all the an
swer could get out Of him for long
time. Finally got his story. 1t ap
pears he had spent his dollar in short
order setting up Tom and Jerrys Il
himself and some chance acquaint
ances. Then he wandered into some
other place where they were keeping
open house and giving Tom and Jer.
ry to everyone who came in. Jim got
one, and then wanted another, which
was refused him on the grounds that
he had already been treated. So the
thought occurred to him to go to 9
barber shop where he had credit ant
have his beard shaved off. so disguis
2 ing himself that he could get another
! drink. The plan worked to charm
Then he went back and had his mus
tache shaved off. O, this new face h
q got another Tom and Jerry and then
!, he was stuck. But no, another bril-
liant thought struck him and back hi
goes again and soon the clippers had
made his curly head as smooth as ;
billiard ball. Going up to his Office
and drawing on skull cap he went
back and worked the place for thirt
:. bowl. He had literally pawned hi
! hair and whiskers for Tom and Jerry
by this time he was feeling pretty
we'll satisfied with himself, and, by
, some ill-luck, remem bering that he
was invited out to eat turkey at the
home of his betrothed, started Out
there His girl failed to recognize his
. smooth face and shaven head, anC
upon his persisting in explaining who
he was, her father called policeman
and had him arrested as an escaped
? lunatic. And that wasn't the worst o
it, for when he failed later on to put il
an appearance and they waited dinner
!. for him until the turkey was cold, tn,
D young lady was so mad she refused
even to accept his apologies, and jim
is an old bachelor to-day."-Kansa.
City Star
q HYPNOTIC CURES,