St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-26
GLOBE TOWER SHOTS.


The Chicago correspondent of the New
York Press has discovered a Dutch planter
from Sumatra who is coming to this country
and raise the Sumatra wrapper because Nc
Kinley puta tax Of 81 pound on the leaf, if
unstemmed. What magnificent possibilities
this opens. Now let us put tax of 81
pound on Mocha coffee and drive the Arabs
to this country to raise the aromatic berry
here. Put a swinging tax on bananas and
forthwith get all the planters from the trop-
les here with their plants. What's the use of
paying anything the South Americans choose
to ask us for eocoanuts when it is only mat
ter of little tax between that and having
them grown here? And what dullwitted
fellows those Cubans are that they, too,
haven't begun to raise Havana cigars here in
stead of on the island of earthquakes and
revolutions. Really, about all that is left to
be done is to put a tax on the equator to get
it to move in and share the blessing of being
taxed out of its boots.
The Shah of Persia boils his monied men
in oil to make them come down. Republican
bosses only hold the manufacturers of this
country over the fire and fry the fat out
of them. How much more refined is the civ
ilization Of the Oceident
Shayne-who's Shayne?-is stamping Ohio
for Mckinley and gets off that old gag about
the simultaneous happening of panics and
reductions in the tariff. He dilates on the
hard times of '37 and '57, but slides over
all mention of that little affair we had in the
panic line beginning with 1873 and lasting
the decade out Shayne and the tariff editor
OF the Minneapolis Tribune must have been
trained in the same school of casuistry.
Mckinley boasts Of the prosperity of this
country under protection. Once on time
there was McKinieyite who was farmer
He conceived the idea that his horses in the
pastures didn't get fat because they roamed
about so much while feeding, so he forth
with hobbled them fore and aft. The poor
horses had to work somewhat harder to fill
their stomachS, but they did it all the same,
and the forerunner of Mckinley boosted to
his neighbors how prosperously fat his
horses got when hobbled, and urged them to
adopt his plan. 1t never occurred to him
that his horses got living in spite of his
hObbling.
Who put that flea in McKinley's ear? He
is actually praislng Mr.. Cleveland, saying of
MIN L0dL no Ole has SpOhtu Will SIcdICI
ability than he on the coinage question.
And yet this is the same Mckinley who, only
last February said of Mr.. Cleveland that
during all of his years at the head of the
government he was dishonoring one Of our
precious metals, discrediting silver ana en-
HANGING the price of gold"
The staunch and vociferous supporter Of
Harrison and Mckinley, the up-the-river
Tribune, proelaims that protection eheapens
everything it touches; that there are not
three Articles that can be mentioned in all
the catalogue. the manufacture Of which is
fairly under way in this country under pro-
tective tariff, where the price has not gone
down from 30 to 70 per cent These are the
factsr' Without more than mentioning that
potatoes, fiaxseed and other articles of agri-
cultural manufacture are protected, and have
gone down in price under it, we beg to sug
gest to our e. C. that it may not be aware that
il is flying directly in the face of its political
gods. Both Mr.. Harrison and Mr.. Mckinley
are strenuous in denying that protection
cheapens. In a speech made by the former
in Chicago in March. 1888, he said he was
lone of those uninstructed political econo-
mists who do not believe in cheapness. l do
not believe in cheap coats, for, 10 my mind,
a cheap coat means cheap man under it,
In the campaign of 1899, at Kalamazoo, Mr.
Mckinley said: well, now. they say you
would have things cheaper if you only had
Democratic tariff. Cheapl 1 never liked the
word. Cheap and nasty go together. This
whole system of cheap things is badge of
poverty, for cheap merchandise means cheap
men, and cheap men means cheap country,
and that is not the kind our fathers builded.''
We trust that on reflection, our e. C. will
conclude that things aren't so blarsted cheap
after all.