Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-09-05

"Tired!' she said, in response to his
speech. "Am I ever anything else but
tired, wonder2 Tired of life, since it can
never bring me release, never anything
better than this; tired Of thoughts that
always lead to one end-an end I dare not
face yet; tired of everything, but" Here
she hesitated little.
"But what?"
Everything but you, Bill, dear"
There was infinite tenderness in these few
words, or rather in the tone in which they
were uttered. Bill glanced up quickly, an
eager pleasure in his face, and then his head
sank upon his hands again and he made no
answer.
He could not quite understand his feel
ing toward Judith. The first one of pity
was gone, and something he could not or
would not analyze, lived in its place. He
had long ceased to think of her as a Door
creature whom he must do his best for. A
restlessness possessed him now, which rem
dered him unhappy save when near her,
though, alas, her presence brought with 1t
no peace,
she went on, half to herself, looking into
the fire as she spoke. Sometimes fancy
such torture must kill me soon, unless it is
fated that he is to be the first to die, Now,
don't pretend to be shocked, Bill You
know well enough hate him sufficiently to
help him to it, so far as the will goes, even
if had to follow directly"
"Why did you wed him?" asked Bill,
suddenly. Judith gave a short, bitter
laugh.
because was fool, and deserved nv
fate! Because he was big and strong and
masterful, and liked to feel he could do
what he chose with me, Because, oh, how
can 1 make you understand, boy? You, who
have never felt that sort of thing! You,
who could never realize, with your slow,
calm blood, and your quiet nature, how love
seizes upon such woman as ] am, and how
it carries one out of ones self, ones COM
mon sense, ones reason, ones good
everything! 1t is life, it is
bliss, it is ecstasy, while it lasts! But then
it never does lastI'' she ended abruptly.
While she was speaking, shudder ran
through the young mans frame, and for a
moment his breath came fast. All this
sounded very terribly to him, but there
was strange fascination about it, never
theless.
"And yet you hate him so nowI' he
said, slowly. 81 thought a woman who
loved like that once, loved so for alwaysp'
81 tell you it never lastsl Perhaps it
burns itself out quickly because it is so in
tense And think what brute he is, and
how he has made me suffer! Bill"-here she
brought her voice to a whisper-"did~ You
know how the baby died?"
"Fell out of the bed and that brought on
fits, didn't it?'
dFell out?' she repeated, laying her hand
on his arm, and looking straight into his
eyes with her own, in which a sullen fire
burned; cit was thrown out! 1t had been
cross and uneasy, and got up and walked
about to try and quiet it, for fear of rousing
him; but it was no use, he heard it cry, and
then, when grew tired and rested for a
moment on the bed, he took it out of my
arms, and-oh, my little babyi my darlingl
my baby that nestled close in to my breast
and comforted me, and took his hard, cold
feeling away! 1 could stand by with smile
on my lips and see the wretch die when
think of that!'
just for a moment the memory of mother
hood in the. woman had softened her, but
only to give place to deeper, sterner
hatred. Bill could not speak. He was sick
and unutterably revolted at the revelation.
There was no hope, no comfort for a case
like this. What could he do but hold his
peace?
Judith, too, seemed to find it impossible
to speak more, and she began to lay the
cloth for her husbands frugal supper of
bread and cheese Everything about the
place spoke of poverty, though there was
q neatness and a spotless cleanliness which
helped TO take away any sordid impression
it might have given. Many of the pitmen's
cottages in the north are almost luxurious
in their comfortable arrangements and SUBJ
stantial furniture; this one was bare of
everything Of the sort, and yet, from utter