The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-06-27
PuNeENr PARAoRAPHs.

Mrs. Parvenoo-"My daughter, FL
vira, made her debris In society lasi
night" WentmSn politely ly)-"Yes; 5
suppose there was a frightful crush."-
N. Y. Telegram
--Arabella-"Is it true that Grace
Stedley has eloped with her fatherJ
coachman?" Felice-"O, no, she didnV
do as well as that; he was only the foot
man. Epoch.
-Briggs-"Does your wife ever
threaten TO go home to her mother9
am willing to own that mine does"
Braggs -"No, she threatens to send for
her mother. indianapolis Journal.
-"Say, barber" said the victim "a
the artist, 'you are using diffcrenS
brand Of shaving soap than You used
last week" "Why do you think SOP"
ut tastes different"-N. y. Recorder.
--"Did you," he asked in an intensely
sentimental tone, "never sigh for
death?" "Whose?" she inquired with
an interest and promptness that brought
him back to earth so fast that he fairly
lost his breath. h.-Washington Post.
-"Simpson has written a new play.
I'll be there when it comes out and then
III have n chanGe to get with him."
said the critic. "What have you got
against him?' Against Simpson? Why,
man. owe him $50. IN. Y. Continent.
"A Satisfactory Apology. Figg
-''Laura tells me that you were sere.
nading her last night" Nudge -
"Well?" Mr. Figg - 'I just came
around to apologize for throwing that
hair brush at you You see, / thought
it was the dog."-Indianapolis Journal.
Where the Fun Came In.-"Some Of
the college boys got badly hurt yester-
day night" 'What's the matter?"
''They had baseball match, you see."
''They must have played desperate
game" so, they wern't hurt in the
game it was in celebrating the victory"
-Wife-''Did you change the dress
pattern and blow the man up for the
mistaken" Husband-"I had it changed,
but the clerk declared that he knew
you were wrong" Wife-"Well, what
did you do about it?" Husband (grimly)
I'll shook hands with him. Cloak
Review.
The Law Wouldn't Allow IT.
"You remember asking me to be your
wife?" 81 do" "And I said ! couldn't
be your wife but would be a sister to
you" Eyes" "I have reconsidered the
matter and am now willing to be your
wife" "EXcuse me, but it's too late.
The law wouldn't allow it. A man
can't marry his sister in this country"
N. Y. Press.
The Unattaiuable. She - "There,
haven't 1 sharpened that lead pencil
right?" He-"Y-e-s." She-"And I
can throw one stone straight, can't
II" He "Y-eS, my dear" She
'Well thenl 1 should like you to
tell me something else a woman can't
do" He-"I only know one thing my
dear, and that is to tell conundrum
without forgetting either the question
or the answer"-N. Y. Continent.
"A small boy, in composition upon
doing thing you can't make her, no
matter whether she had orter or not.
If she won't she won't, and she will get
out of it somehow. That is all l know
about girls this time" And if this
boy marries three times and lives to
ripe old age that will be all he will
ever know about girls.-N. y. Recorder.
She is not unknown in fashionable
society, her wealth drawing about her
set of admiring followers Lately she
had some affection of the throat, and
called physician. After an examina-
ton, he said: MADAM, shall have to
touch two or three of the affected spots
with nitrate of silver" SO, doctor,
please don't do that" answered the pa
tient "Use nitrate of gold; the ex-
pense is quite immaterial. San Fran
cisco Examiner