davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
oNE PHASE or DRESS REFORM
Tho Weakness Of H0nxe Servants II r Sho,

Tho Weakness Of House Servants fl shows
Attire.
A woman may dress a turkey better
than she can dress her person; she NAV
blend harmoniously into sauce divers
favors and out of simple elements
evolve triumphs of culinary good taste
in every sense of the phrase. and yet be
herself dismal. looking
object while engaged in the daily rou-
tine Of duties 1t seems to be an article
OF belief with many cooks that personal
neglect and a general air Of untidiness
are outward and visible signs OF great
culinary skill. the possessor of which
talent is by them deemed exempt from
the laws of neatness and order.
Their ideas on the subject of dress,
however are by no means lacking in
definiteness. but unfortunately they are
confined to the elaboration Of toilettes
for high days and holidays. and the nat
ural womanly wish to look well is per-
verified into desire for finery as insult
able as it is flimsy and fiashy Wages
are freely spent on imitation splendors,
and arrayed in sleazy silk or satin, gilt
tering with Jet, the head crowned with
the very latest style Of hat, the young
woman sallies forth with the proud con-
viction that she is ''qnite the thing
In some such garb as this she often
applies for situation, never dreaming
that she thereby imperils her chances
OF obtaining good home; so much does
her attire repel the sensible house
keeper. who. by repeated experience,
has learned that fnery covers multi
tude Of sins of omission, and that al
most certainly there is scarcely decent
change of under-clothing or a whole
calico gown among the belongings of
the gayly-dressed applicant.
There are exceptions, Of course. and
memory dwells fondly on the merits of
an excellent cook who joined to her
skill the rare virtue Of appropriate, ever
tasteful, dressing while she was off,
cially engaged. The neat print gown.
the glossy hair and bright face, and the
cheerful readiness to do her very best,
made visits to the kitchen most attrac-
tive. and it was easy to overlook the
want of taste and judgment which gov
erned her choice of Sunday toilettes.
In the good old times-of which one
constantly hears - domestic servants
had neither the temptation nor the op-
portunity to indulge in fine dress, but so
long as cheap copies of all the fashion
able goods are obtainable, SO long prob
ably will wages be squandered in the
vain hope of looking as well as the best
1t is their own money. they have earned
it. and have the right to spend it as
they choose, and this is free country.
etc, etc.
But if these women could be brought
to see how greatly they would rise in
the esteem of their employers, how
much more likely they are to be
healthy. wealthy and wise." If they
would buy and wear constantly only neat
boots and substantial, suita BILE garments,
hey might possibly, without detriment
their independence. adopt the more
excellent way.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
ODD ACCIDENTS.

Some Strange and Interesting Facts on
Their Happening.
The collection Of large groups OF
facts about accidents which has been
made necessary by the development of
accident insurance has made a contri-
button to one department of social sci
ence that is by no means uninterest ing.
For instance. it is . curious fact that q
man is much more like ~ to lose his
left hand than his right hand, or his
left eye than his right eye: statistics
show, too, that when q man insures
himself. against accidents he greatly
diminishes the risk of accident-and
this is probably explained In this way:
danger he fixes his mind on it, and
thereby consciously Or unconsciously
makes unusual effort 10 avert it. 1t
therefore happens that man is more
likely to be victim of an accident of
kind that he never thought of, than
the kind against which he insures him
self. A man, for instance, who handles
sharp tools will insure himself against
an accident from the use of them, anil
the first thing he knows he will be
drawing pay from an insurance COM
pany for an injury done by getting .
cinder in his eye Not only are such
odd and curious facts as these brought
to light by the development of accident
insurance, but a great many important
groups of facts which bear upon the
habits of men and the development of
civilization. For instance, accidents
are much more common in the sparsely
settled portions Of the country than in
the densely settled portions, and they
happen more frequently in the middle
OF winter and the middle of summer
than in the other seasons Of the year.
Forum.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A Matter Of Money.

Il congratulate yon. Julia, on your
approaching marriage" said Mr.. Hyatt,
a prominent New York merchant, TO his
daughter
Marriage. pa? don't know any.
thing about it,"
Il am telling you about it now" re.
piled Mr.. Hyatt
But who is the bridegroom, pap
asked Julia
That's none Of your business. You
must not have SO much curiosity. That
is business secret that cannot be di-
vulged just now. I'll let you know who
he is after the wedding is over."-Tcxas
SiftinpS
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24

Prominent Politician have done .
good many favors for you. and now Id
like you to put friend of mine on your
paper?
Great Editor-Would he do for a re-
portero
NO, he hasn't any legs"
I'm might make an exchange
editor, perhaps"
lie couldn't read the newspapers.
Hes blind"
Poor fellow. Can he hearo"
NO, deaf as post lie is fine
writer. though. and he has lively i'm
agination.'
Good. | will appoint him London
correspondent. Good News
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Not That Kind 81 . Relic.

The widow of distinguished pro
fessor was visited by rather shabby
Eenteel sort Of gentleman. who ex
pressed great admiration for her de
ceased husband and who finally said
II revere the memory Of your hus
band, and would like very much to have
some relic to keep and CHERISH
THE only relic can offer you." re
piled the disconsolate widow. signing
heavily. lis myself. II you will love
and cherish me for his sake you may
for am of an affectionate disposition
and
But the relic hunter had silently
stolen away before she could finish the
sentence. Texas Siftings
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
STORM WINDS.

The gale II sweeping and signing
Through daeps where The wood liz bare.
And brown dead mo~Ses are lying
Where the springfime flowers were fair:
Ana the desOlafs meadows and weary,
whence the sunlight long has fed,
Are loud with the dirge~ dreary
That mourn for the grasses dead
And there ny the SAD sea beaches
The white waves fretfulis surge
And up from the wrecked filed r.aci,es
They force the sand and the spGrsc:
And wide through the sonni.fiiIei cleaning
Flies the salt and bitter spray
As the wild storm winI goes roaming
Through the snow mi.t wan AMI gray.
The ships bend down To tile rushing
Or gusts that are keen and cold.
The foam capped rollers are gushing
Through the chain plates. downward rolled.
The bell buoys clan or and Jangle
As the short waves fret and toss.
And garrulous seaguls wranglc
As they wing the bar across.
Far north, like sombHr curtain.
The billowing cloud. wrack's mass
And shadows vague and uncertain.
Before them fitfully pass
The shadows OF forests heaving
In throes OF the mighty blast.
whose gyotesaue branches are weaving
The giants that change 50 fast.
And so through the hours that lengfhen,
The wind in its ght grows loud.
And its hoarse notes roll and strengthen
As down from the hills they crowd;
And on. while the night grows deeper
They rise, till their echoes seem
The turmoil weary sleeper
Hears in a chaotic dream.
When the winds from slumber wake
The ocean obeys their might.
tn" forest are rent aad shaken,
Their Il no silence in night:
And ever their restless sweeping
Shows like the swath Of q sword
Yet one hand holds them In keeping
The strong sure hand OF the Lord
Thomas S. Collier. in Springfield Mass, Re
pubica
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24

m all his legions had the master
est coon dog what ever broke up set
tin hen, an you mought jes' bet yer
sweet soul when that ar dog opened
hit wer' no col trail.
THE coons got SO bad roun' my
place that jest wer' mos afeared to
ventur' out o nights 'thout my dog an
gun. an, in fac, it wer' almos' onpos-
sible to git away f'om that ar dog.
He'd lay roun' the do steps with his
eyes hat shet, an I'D hardly git up to
eat his sop an later; but you jest let
me put on . coon look an whistle, an
oil Ruler wer' up an a-gwine in less
time n you could bat yer eyes.
Zone ethenin' l wer' a-walkin' the
foot-log cross the run. not more'n a
quarter f'om the house. an, jest as
nighed the other cen, big baar coon
ris up, with his ha'r all turned wrong
sid out'aris. l seed right thar that
the Insignificant oil cuss wer' up fur q
fight. an says |: or Teller, eff yer want
anything out'n me you kin git it, an
that burned quick.
II retched roun for stick. but the
log wer' slippery. an l couldn't turn
roun' to git to the bank. an ther want
nothin' in han retchin' Of me, an
jest made up my min to taksst ont in
kickin'. With that l sided dP till l
wer shore Of gittin' in my work. an l
fetched heave at i'm wild my foot; but
furgot that l had hole in the toe,
an that blasted OIL wretch grabbed
me by the necked flesh an jist sot his
teeth. The other foot slipped, an
kersouse went into the run with that
cussed coon a-chawin' my toe, an me
a-cussin' an him a-cussin'. An when
! riz he riz, an es cawled out on one
bank he crawled out on tother; an he
give me SIGH look of reyengunce, an
shuck is head SO hatefully, that hit
seem lack he wer' a-sayin', oh. yes;
consarn you! you hain't made nothin'
ou'n me neither, an jest dare you to
try it ag'in!'
Il up wild q lightered knot an flung
it at i'm; but he lodged it an kim er
bowed up his back and says: 'A-a-gh.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
nd all be over afore | could get in

nd all be over afore could get in q
lick
But / calkilated too shore. The
dog KEEP yelpin' an a-yelpin' tell he'd
run fully mile. and then hearn him
openin' i'm contrary direction; an l
knowcd the coon wcr' a-donhlin' on MS.
! KEEP as nigh up as possible. but the dog
KEEP a-twistin' an a-turnin', fust one
way an then tother. an up an down.
an back ards an for ards. till | wer' a.
putin an a-snortin' wus'n ba.uscd
hoss. At last the barkin tuck a
straight cose way MP toards the
swamp. an ] kDowed f-om the way he
wer. abarhin' that The trail wer' git
tin hotter.
III git You now. blame you,
thought. You're a-gi.tin' tired now,
an you II take a tree presently
Il walked an run. an stumbled over
the logs tell Id gone near bout two
mile. when | heard Ruler a-barlSin'
fierce. lack he'd freed. | wnoopca to
i'm to hol fas', and then struck out
through the swamp to whar he wer'.
an every step tuck cusscd that coon
fur leadin' me sich worrisome rackit.
Bimeby ! busted into q slash an waded
across. an thar sot Ruler at the foot of
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Point for Wheeiunen.

Wheelman-I believe I'll give up BIZ
cycling. ] am as careful as can be, but
every now and then some accident hap
pens. This is the second time ! have
been arrested and fined for running
into people.
Business Man-Ill tell you how to
manage. Just you get job as bill col
lector. Everybody'll dodge you then
N, Y. Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
He Didn.t Lie.

Father-Look here, young man. give
an account Of yourself. What kept you
out so late last night?
SOM was attending a class in eth
nology. and Of course ! didn't want to
leave till the session was over
''What do you want To lie. for? have
positive knowledge that you were at
the bicycle tournament Good deal Of
ethnology about that. eh'"
certainly That comes under the
head OF the races Of man. don't it?'-
Boston Courier
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
1892

Will open upa Red Hot campaign, and the
Plain Dealer will be in it all over, supply
ing it's readers with chapters of political in
cidents, sketches and history, with deduc-
tions entertaining and instructive. The
National. State and Local fields will be
thoroughly explored for features Of interest
to all classes of readers, and at the same
time it will lead in County News. Sample
Copy sent free.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
In the snake Ward.

DR.. Rurridge-IIow do you feel this
morning?
Snoozer 1.-THE tramp) - Pretty com
ftablo. doc; but ! wisht you'd let
science have rap at me.
DR. Burridge- How
Snoozer--Jest try that oppyration fer
tn TRANSMISSION Of beer.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
The HumbIest May Follow.

Miss Wobbleton-How beautiful, pro.
fessor, it would be to mold ones life.
however imperfectly, after the ideas
and practice Of Emerson!
Prot. Grout-Well, you can make a
start bv eating pic!-Iife.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
win Wind Him Around Some Way.

Mrs. Chinn-So you are going to mar
ry Mr.. james? Why, he is q regular
reptile. OF course he is rich. but don't
see how you will ever get along with
him.
Mrs. Trapier (by her thirdl-Oh,
will manage him somehow. | used to
be . snake charmer before my mar
rage Brooklyn Citizen.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Dressed In style.

Western Stage Robber-aold up "
hands!
Scared Passengers-Yes.y yes. yes. Of
course.
Robber tgallantly) - Beg parding.
lady; you needn't hold yours up Put
'em down again.
Lady-My hands are not up Those
are my shoulder puffs.-N Y Weekly
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
The Difference Explained.

Il can't understand why you haven't
Is amiable temper as James, said the
proprietor to an Office boy. referring to
another.
"James never has to answer the tele.
phone" replied the abused young man.
Detroit Free Press.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Too Much 20.

Lucy-Clara Katchem has certainly
the most engaging manners of any girl
! know.
Harry (ruefully YOU'RE right, sis.
I've just learned that I'm the fifth man
she engaged herself to last SIMMER
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24

Famished Finnegan lpolitelyl Young
lady, would yer please AZ yer
mother II she cant give . poor man
. bit Of cold luncheon2
Miss Witherupp tagged thirty eighty
Sit right down here. poor fellowi I'll
get you some myself.-Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
No Weakness There,

Snively-Old Mr. Gildersleeve always
strikes me as a very weak man.
Snodgrass-Yo You are mistaken. He
carries life insurance amounting to
$50. O0O - Philadelphia Press
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Another Case.

Frances-ls it that tiresome Mr.. Co
bait, with his everlasting gable on art?
Laura (hotly)-I think he amounts to
= good deal! He is quite welded to his
art
Frances A case where marriage
seems to he q failure.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24

Prof. Wctthedust Ia few years hcnce)
Good morning, Mr.. Tiller. Anything
in my line to-day? ] have brought my
balloons and explosives along.
Mr.. Tiller (Amcrican farmer)-Well,
! dunno. What's the price Of ra;.a now?
N Y Weekly.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Faithful Unto Death.

She-Has she treated yoo falsely and
broken of the engagement
He-No. that's the trouble She
keeps her engagements--aa Of them
you know Judge
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Right, After All.

Codling-Look here. Mawler. you
pretend to be a realistic painter and yet
in this picture you have q stream IN oil
colors instead of putting it in water
colors.
Mawler-That's all right. Cooling
The stream in that picture is Oil creek
in Venango county. Pa Brookly o
Life
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Not Entirely Useless.

He hopeless. butseeking consolation,
Now that you have met Tom Walk
over, you have no further use for me.
She-Oh, yes have. need you to
make him iealous!-Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
KING AND MONK.

Tho Visit of AlfonsO XIII. to the Car
fhusiams.
The last journey OF Alfonso XIII.
from San Sebastian, by way of Burgos,
to Madrid was one of more than COM
mon interest 1t began rather inaus-
piciously. Several Russian grand dukes
and their families. who were also stay
ing at San Sebastian, accompanied
the royal party to the station. the little
king dutifully kissing the hand Of the
fair grand duchesses. The youthful
Russians, however, who had been his
majesty's playnates, thought the mo-
ment OF departure the proper occasion
on which to bring to light the sins of
the youngest king in Europe. He was
horrid boy to play with, they said,
and would never play at what the 9TH
ers proposed, but would always have
his own way.
At Burgos, however, the humiliation
Of these accusations was forgotten. when
the king was literally smothcred with
flowers rs, by the side Of the queen re-
gent, he drove through the streets,
shouting with delight at the sight of the
flights of white pigeons that were re-
leased from captivity in order to cele-
brate the day.
A striking incident occurred during
the visit of the queen and her children
10 the Carthusian monks of Milaflores.
The queen had telegraphed TO the pope
asking that the Fathers" might be re-
leased from their VOW CT perpetual
silence for a few hours Thus for four
hours they were allowed to talk. One
Of the oldest of the silent Carthusians,
a man of ninety-two, Padre Juan, on
seeing the little king, took him up in
his arms and told the queen that he had
known Carlos w., and had never
dreamt that he should live to take an
Alfonso Nil. in his arms The latter
was at first somewhat frightened at tho
sight OF the old monk, but soon got &C
customed to him, and listened with big.
wondering eyes to the benediction of
the latter as he babe the royal party
yoodby.
Son of noble kings" the old Car
thnsian said, may God lead you in the
paths of virtue, to the glory and the
good of our beloved Spain. shall not
see you again. Soon my bones shall
rest in the tomb. and shall return to
the dust to which all things return.
Think of the words of an old man. Be
. good Spaniard and your subjects will
bless and worship you. l bless you as
one who is daily expecting to be called
away. FAREWELL my son, and may
Heaven protect you"
The queen was greatly moved by the
old mans words, kissed his hand and
asked him to pray for her and her chill
dren. Inter Ocean.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Theatrical Note.

McReady-uow long . run did you
have in Schenectady?
Keane-Oh. just from tho hotel 70
the station. Judge
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Horizontal Longevity.

longevity"
Indeed they are. Some OF them
grow TO be thirty or forty feet long ~
BROOKLYN Life,
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24

Voice (from the well Hip!
Sheehan-Is amy wan down there?
yoice-Oi am!
Shcehan--Pfwhat's yure name?
voicc-Halloran!
Sheehan-Well. Halloran. yez musty
fell mile t mex q hole like thot in tn
ground phin yez shtruck. -Judge.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A Mean ADVANTAGE.

Jack-How did you manage to get rid
Of your rival?
Harry got him appointed an um-
pire. and took the girl out to witness his
first Came.-Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A Sad End.

FLOWS that black and tan dog of
yours?"
Dead"
"Dead?"
Eyes. Swallowed bunch of watch
keys and they wound him up."-Brook-
lyn Life.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A Give-Away.

Judge-O6cer. you say this woman
when locked up. was dressed in mems
attire?
Ofhcer-Ycs, sir; but didn't suspect
her sex until this morning. when she
was buttoning her shoes
Judge-How did You detect it then2
Odicer-She asked me for hairpin'
Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
STILL IN IT.
Siftings

Bill Guthrie Say, mister, what's the
name Of this yer town?
Mr.. jackson Park-This is Chicago.
Bill Guthrie-Chicago yet? A man
told me two days ago ! was in Chicago,
and I've been drivin' right along
Mr.. jackson Park-That's right
Puck.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
1p165z6 G0a7S
S'@@@@|lg|9!I[H]vGa5:

L 5 EFT L r lH.
the coon fighter
Of X i t t l Z
Creek. 5 a i d
| ncle Nat. as
he leaned back
in h i $ chair,
IAN in my day
I've seed mo-
ups an downs
then jeff Davis
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A n Others Duty.

The mother of q family must neces.
sarily make many sacrifices for h".
:hildren's sake. Every body who tries to
live rightly must also be in certain
sense unselfish, but the right to life,
liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is
As much an inalienable privilege of
woman as Of man, and in enjoying
these rights in the broadcast sense she is
accomplishing her highest duty toward
her children. For their sakes she must
cultivate her mind. must develop her
nature. and refuse to be narrowed into
the dreary limits Of the slave and
drudge. For their sakes as well as her
own, she must be companion to her
husband, q wise counsellor to him In
perplexity, staff upon which he can
!ean when he is bruised and buffeted
by the unfeeling world which lies be-
yond the haven Of refuge which home
should be for every man. Chicago
Graphic.
Mr.. Fastboy-"With both horses
sick, how are we to get to the ball to-
night, my dear?' Mrs Fastboy Trap
turously contemplating her new dress)
III don't know what you intend to do.
my love, but ! am going in . special
train. "-Baltimore American.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
"Comradas, Ccursde,!

tide.
The lights we're low-l dealt him . blow.
And he died right By my side"
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
Readers.
OF the
Plain Dealer

Need not be told that it is the Largest Pa
per! That it gives the most Reading! The
latest General and Local News That it is
essentially the paper of the People, for the
the People.
Alive, Aggressive, Enterprising and In.
teresting. Cheap at $3.50 per annum
and costs but 81 90 per year.
These facts are presented for the considera-
ton of those who are not regular readers of
the Plain Dealer, but should be. Full value
given to all.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A Word
To Advertisers!

Don't Throw your Money away! Put it where
it where it will do the most good and bring
safe return for the investment.
Judicious advertising is the key to success. Use
it with reason and it will yield safe return.
The Plain Dealer
Offers special advantages to honest advertisers
who handle legitimate wares. Our circulation
books always open to advertisers. Advertising
in the Plain Dealer pay. The advertiser.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-12-24
A New Industry.

seems to be q failure.-Life.