, 1891-05-15
WE EXPECT TOO MUCH.
MARRIED PEOPLE DEMAND UNREA-
SONA6LE ATTENTION.

rage a failure. came up At a small so
Cial gathering a few evenings since. In
the company were an old bachelor, a
widow, several married people and q
couple Of young persons who were alb
sorbed in unsuccessful attempts 70 per
suade the company that they never
heard Of such a thing as loves young
dream.
Various opinions were advanced and
some little warmth was becoming evil
dent in the remarks Of some Of the mar
NED guesta The bachelor Was cynical,
the youngsters somewhat shocked and
norrowful and the entire company uu-
comfortable.
At length a lady who had hitherto re-
manned silent WAS appealed to for her
opinion
III we judge by the amount Of h8ppi-
ness we find in families, she said, -''l
think we may call it a failure, for a per
fectly harmonious household is very hard
to find. There isso much selhkLurss and
30 much indifference displayed, 80 much
/ and 30 little yon, that the instinct Of
self preservation springs up and takes
alarm, sod the individual is at ouce put
upnn the defensive Rs 10 his or her
rights
Young people marry and begin their
homehfe on a wrong basis Courtship
and marriage, while often merely an in
cident to the man. is all absorbing TO the
woman. She dreams about IL, lives in
it, worries and cries over it. and throws
her whole life into tho ideal as she has
read IL in books, Her ideal husband is
always gentle, tender and considerable,
always comes home with a smile on his
fhoe, and, although burdened with care
and perpleIed with business, is never
other than "A hero. She is quite likely
to forget the ideal man can be very dis
agreeable when he Is hungry. and finds
little to comfort him in kisses and blisses
II the laundress has failed TO bring home
his linen. or he hasn't a quiet corner
where he may sit down and rest.
For man is n more solitary creature
than woman. There is an old legend to
the effect that Gods original plan was to
create woman the mother OF the race
frst Of all, but, in his far seeing wisdom,
he decided that a woman should never
be alone Ia the world, so man WINS ere
ated first, that she might find a compan-
ion even in her earliest hours Of eSis.
teuce, and from her infancy she Graves
society, and all through her girlhood has
her little girl friends, and their Rssocia-
alton is much more intimate thar that
of the boy with his mltcs. And all
through her young days how she con
fdes in her girl associates and tells them
all Of her little secrets, reads her first
love letter to them, and tells them all
about the ideal which she has fashioned
.vl y1.sN..T -,gtl -..-. 90 .-s4H
ment, How natural that she should
carry a great deal Of this ideal into her
married life and expect love and devo-
ton all Of the time, and that the hus-
band will be as devoted and rs self sacri.
hcing as the lover.
But all the same he isn't, and she
feels chilled and unhappy when, after
one greeting kiss, he looks beyond TO see
il there are signs Of dinner. or frowns II
there are a number Of girl friends scat
tered all about the house. putting an end
to the quiet, restful hours he feels he
needs so much after the days business
He is certain that she cares less for his
society than that Of the girls. and nat
urally resents it. He thinks he married
and had his home as a place in which to
be quiet and comfortable, and makes up
his mind that he will put n stop to all
this company. Then he reflects that he
is selfish and a brute, and will do moth
ing Of the sort.
But such reflections never make the
average man happier. He doesn't like
TO admit, even 10 himself, that he is
wrong, and the necessity for doing so
nettles him. And they both get irritated
md p.ttv 5aoI,pgfag grr5,7.r Nv .vl thara
are sharp words and bitter feelings, and
everything goes wrong. Perhaps good
sense comes to the rescue, and they come
to a perfect understanding, but much
Oftener they grow worse, until he rushes
away to the club, and she sits down to
NOPE and worry, perchauce to cry; or,
following his example, seeks congenial
society, and their lives end in dissipa-
ton or an open rupture.
And all because each expects too
much Of the other. Indeed, this is the
keynote Of almost all unhappiness in life
We expect too much. Our ideal is too
high, and not finding plain, practical
facts TO meet it. we are disappointed
and discouraged, and become soured and
cynical.
1T sometimes happens that two peo-
PIE VIM AANt IANHHl through EOIAlt Oh
tho scverest trials of existence, and ave
learned wisdom from the things they
have suffered, two such %congenial spir-
its may meet, and with the experiences
Of years stamped on their lives and char
acters may establish a home on a basis
of mutual concession and unseltish love,
and each may spend his or her remain
ing years in the acknowledged effort to
make up to the other what life lacked
afJretime. Such homes are rare in
deed, but when they are found | am Ger
tain thHt neither the members of the
household nor the few friends who are
permitted TO share the beauties Of their
inner lives viii 90 away declaring mar
riage o failure.
Such n home l. a stronger plea for
the marriage relation than any series Of
arguments that the most learned and
Ekllful theurist can bring forward. But
such relations are rare, indeed, in early
life, II is only when the splnt has been
trained 10 quiet liberation Of the irritat-
ing trihes Of life that such mutual con
Cession seems possible. One sided gen
tlcness is dangerous to famIly peace Of
mind, as II Is almost certain to develop
a tyranniCal and overbearing disposition
in the party. C~omradship and genuine
respect are the best and safest spirit and
Outlasts the fever heat of passion and the
storms and sunshine Of adversely and
prosperity View York Ledger.
ChRnEing Defeat TO victory.
The genius of Sheridan at WIucheste
changed defeat into victory. So whel
feeble aiversaries in the shape OF Iuefh
Gent remedies fail 10 stay the progress o
that obstinate and malignant Toe. malaria
Hnstetter's Stomach Biiters turns tn,
Ng- 1T N-.Is-