The Opelousas courier., 1891-05-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Always on tlme-Hls torelock.
Early to bed and early to rise makes
little boys very tired.-LJe.
'sWhat has been the greatest mistake
of yodr ife2" "Making so many
Puek.
"Do you play by note9" "No," re-
piled the violin %virtuosoi ~ play for
| ash."-Puck.
Money is the root of all evil, but the
need of money is the evil itself.-B5nq-
hamton Leader.
Never Judge a mans mind by the
length of time it takes him to make it up.
Boston Traveller.
The world never sits down twice on a
man who has any point about HIM.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
If you wish to be entertaining just
forget yourself long enough to talk to
somebody about himself.-Dolas News.
Friend-''Is the play a go?" Budding
Dramatist (sadlD-''Yes, but l had hoped
it would be a stay. "-AmericaD Grocer.
All, you do not know the anguish of
being cut by your best friend till you be-
gin to shave yourself.-Elmira Gazette.
Humor, a kindly little bee,
Makes laughter sweet as honey;
While Wit is like a wasp, for he
Stings When he'd fam be funny.
The average man would sooner pay
dues at a gymnasium than saw his w
---- e. -~a-o Ma nn7z--o H.
gune.
"Wha was that noise I heard in the
parlor last night, Naria4" SIT was Will
lam breaking his engagement. "-Boston
Gazette.
"Medicine," said a little girl to her
playmate, sis something that makes you
be careful not to catch cold again.
Washington Post.
Passenger-'sWhich of the fool ques-
tions you hear every day tires you the
Conductor-tThat one."-4H-
Journal.
Upson Downes-'tsay, old man, lend
me a five until payday" Rowne de
Bout-"Which-your payday, or the
day you'll pay mea"-Puc&.
The oyster leads a calm and placid life.
While he lives he is never known to get
shot" It's only after he dies that he
gets in a "stew."-Epoch.
Professor-'tDidn'tI see you coming
put of saloon2" Ninety-four-"Well,
'ir, you wouldn't have me stay in one,
would you2"-YaleR Record.
Little Susie-"We have had a great
weakening in our church." Little
sthel-'tWhy, in our church they never
20 to sleep - Chicago Times.
"AIl's fair in love;' that is my creed;
Who doubts it is a churl.
AIS fair In love; all, yes, indee1!-
Especially the girl.
"Robbie," said the visitor, kindly,
thave you any little brothers and sis
ers?" "No," replies wee Robbie, SOL
mnly; "I'm all the children we've got"
-Bostonian.
"And | suppose, like a brave soldier,
on followed your colors." eyes,
whenever there was a battle l noticed
hat the colors were flying, SO / flew,
DO. "-Bufalo Express. )
"Why won't you take Flickeles as
artner2" sMy dear fellow, Flickeles
as engaged to my wife before ! married :
er. And would you have me take for
artner a man who is cleverer than I2"-
Taegende Raetter. :
The Little Trader: Moritz received
ON his teacher a box on the ear, but
ndeservedly, for it was his neighbor &
no had been out of order. "Now,
acher, he said, ''you see that it was
ot my fault. Don't forget to credit \
9 with that box on the ear, will youW
-Flagende Blaetter.
Detected Tramp-"Yes'm, I've had a !
d history. I've travelled this country =
r years and years, homeless and hope
IS, in search of something I fear it :
ould break my heart to find" Kind.
Lady-oAnd what is that, nv
'or mana" Detected Tramp-"Work,
a'am."-Oieago Tribune.
private audiences will ha ro Toyrn =