The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-06-28

with handful OF fine shot kept on hand
for such emergencies We hardly believed
any Of them would get through the buck
skin and dirt, but it seems they did. and
he had TO have a doctor pick them out.
The best thing Bill can do Is to keep shet.
He attempted smart trick and got left,
and there isn't a man this side OF Tomb
stone who would have cared If all the shot
had gone clean through him and his dromr
edary too.
CALL HIN OFF.-If the - called Major
Skinner. who has loafed around tais town
for the last six months, has any friends
who have his welfare at heart, they will
call him of the perch. 1t seems the major
has been laying his pipes for Office, and
that our article Of two weeks ago, asking
him where he stole his hast cow. has some
what clouded his prospects. lie now
threatens to shoot US on sight, and was
seen &C the postofhce yesterday with q big
revolver belonging to Luke Higgins
We regret these little ann0YanceS, but il
they must be met we are not the man 20
shrink from the task Tomorrow after
noon, after our first form goes 20 press
and we work OF 200 auction bills, we shall
strap on our gun and take walk. IL
Major Skinner has departed from Tucson
he may live TO be a hundred years old; if
he hasn't he Will make No. 10 in our pri-
waite graveyard. This is official. and comes
right from headquarters.
Poor OLD MANi-The wheeZy. broken
backed press owned by ou- esteemed CO
temporary fell 70 pieces the other day rs he
was getting ready to work his outside
form, and as soon as we heard OF the acct
dent we rendered him the use Of ours. He
gratefully accepted; but alas no act Of
kindness or generosity can change the
leopazd's spotsl His circulation, while
given as $3.50, is in reality only $50 He
hadn't the manhood about him to bring
along his $50 sheets of white paper aud de-
pend on our honor, but he hires a cart and
drives up with two whole bundles and
then pretends he has run short Two men
were kept hard at work ell day, and hun
dreds Of sheets of paper were recklessly
wasted, that the old hypocrits and falsiher
might hatter himself that we were deceived.
We don't hike such men We can't believe
they are an ornament to a growing vest
ern town.
No BooM-We understand that several
real estate firms in this town have com
bined TO get up a boom and make things
jump. In fact, they offered us r half page
ad- for this week, but we didn't take il.
As an individual we might cheat a man
from Omaha ut poker, bat rs an editor we
can't be hired to help swindle our sub
scribers. In order to Offset the machina-
tious Of this syndicate we wish TO say:
We have got the flag end Of one railroad
here, and neither want nor viii ever be abba
to get anything more.
Society is not cultivated Such thing
as a toothbrush OF n volume Of poems found
on q man here wonld hang him
Tbe Land around the town IL so poor that
Il takes pine feet 81 IL over dead mule to
hold the carcass down
1t Is not a trade center. We have tho
Digger Indian On three sides of as, and .
large family Of coyotes on the fourth
The climate wobbles ell over creation,
making the demand for buffalo skin over
coats and linen busters about equal and
mighty steady.
II is not a sanitarium for invalidA ~
the climate didn't kill 'em our doctors
would.
This Is about all. but enough 20 put our
su hscribers on their guard and 20 clearou
II our advice Is not taken Now,
gentlemen Of the combination, 80 ahead
With your boomleti-M- Quad IN New York
World