Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-03-01
WOMAN, TnOU'RTO ODD
The Queen OF Mans Destiny sn-
pFsms-
HOa she MAKES LIFE CAL AND BRIGHT
W hsshsr 80 . shy ssaastts. or B~thsE
90 shs sAaas-fhs IspsTish@eas
ShaT@ 81 Methsrsssa hsr
Dearest. sssssess Blessing


OF seventeen summers, out TINS Is be
fore he mas known and studied women,
lovely women, WHO never grows Old,
but - always young and new aHa
charming. As the years roll by and
the youth is transformed into a man,
his experience with an altogether new
and fascinating creature begins.
First, OF course. he falls in love. then
he enters Immediately upon literary
life. lie writes poetry. real poetry, II
Is SO easy you know To make one little
word rhyme with anoher, 80 he strings
GU, gems Of thought by the yard and
rod and mile, all in praise OF MS divinity
whom he fancles he knows perfectly.
He has read her soul through her eyes;
he has penetrated the most secret re-
cesses OF her heart, and she is an open
book whose pages are printed IN large
sized capital letters So that he who runs
may also read. At least that is what
he thinks for a time. After while
Madamoiseiie shows Traits of Character,
Likes and dislikes. peculiarities and
propensties of whose existence he
never dreamed. Before he has had
time to express proper surprise he finds
the bonds between them broken. Sne
whom he loved, trusted and knew so
we'll, whose heart and soul were 10 him
as his own. throws him over without AS
I. .n a WSd
pet dog was hurt by having his tail
caught IN the closing door. And he
had thought ne could depend upon
her. He mad read her faithful nature
through and through without discover
ing the possibility Of flaw IN its per-
feet pages. HencefoItn he becomes n
cynlc ana regards all womankina wsh
distrust aud suspicion. When he
marrles, he takes his chances. Ii
| daughters are born to him, he regards
them as revised versions OF the first
great mystery. He treats them all with
gentle Difference and permits them to
do as they please-because he can not
help it. Whenever the thought or
crossing them comes to HIM he remem-
bers an early spring day OF his boyhoOd
when he attempted 10 pass Jersey
COW III a country road. The creature
was so pretty,
So Sleek, So Mild and Meek.Eyed
That never Quaver OF fear entered his
being. Just ashe came athwart her noz-
zle she gave wild below and plunged
giddIly at him fiOurishing her heels and,
tail wildly. Then fear entered his
being and a tip OF her horn came with it.
Women are queer. They are most
uncommon odd and they know It,
They are peculiar IN many ways and
they show it by their dress fully as
much as IN any way. Being patterned
| somewhat after the man, woman dOns
clothes greatly resembling MS. These
| they carefully and completely cover
by hanging draperles, which fasten
with hooks, buttons and pins of each
| an amazing number. After an Indeil-
| mite numoer ot garments have been
hung over their proper places, for no
one knows the actual number a woman
wears, all resemblance to the other sex
ceases and she becomes Il monument of
linen, lace, silk, velvet, cotton and wool
| crowned and tipped with pretty face
| and a pair OF dainty hands. There
| isn't much of her visible but what is IN
| slsIl - liiOcb SWEET.
At the theater she loses some of her
cnarnl, Tor enc Is prone 10 cover her
bewitchihg mead with an aggregation of
count them-Ostrlch feathers, POM
poms and even entire BIRDS. When
birds are used, dead birds of course,
the attention which otherwise would he
hers alone is divided and the bird re-
| ceiyes his share.
He Looks so Weak and Ill and Ill Used,
Hampered and tied down, as it were.
When shopping woman eagerly awak-
ems to the needs of life, she buys what
she wants and pays good price for it.
She also buys what she does not want,
because it is cheap. Some garrets are
filled to repletion with the wonderful
bargains of a decade of years. Some
articles are decayed, but most of them
| are practically indes,ructlble.
At church she Is the worshipper.
Man IS the listener, but the woman goes
| to church to pray, TO plead. TO worship.
She is also the church worker. She is
the recto-'s support IN time of trouble,
and his efficient aid at all times. She
can concoct more schemes for money
making and put fewer oysters IN the
stew than any being living. but she can
not carry her religious thrift into every
dsv practice, where il would Till her
own purse. She replenlshes the sacred
Golfers. giving "a little IN return value
as will make showing. bless her, but
no one complains. She has wav of
dong these things gracefully. so it is
pleasure TO watch her. But with all
her work for the church,
She IL silent In the Church.
II is not seenly for her to speak
there. At least Paul said il was not.
and he should have known II he did
not.
Down At the sea-shore, when the
season sat its height. and her skirt is
at its highest height, she ia seen 70 adj
vantage. She has a brave heart. q
pretty foot and a plump limb, and she
shows ss much Of each as ste possibly
can without violating the properties
and her personal feelings. She dips
ard sports IN the Greet Of the waves
where it's deep. ST. inches deep. and she
does Dot scream unless old ocean takes
advantage OF the situation AID creeps
an another inch.
Asa traveller. woman has become e.
adept. She hss ontlived ard dsso~ned
her srsndnothers' ways she leaves
the bird and the reticuI= ard the hand
boxes ard bundles At home. and carries
only her deg, snail rag, telescope
vsilse, umbrella. mgf and hand
| saches.
80. Dses Vet Reth-r the Conductor