Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-07-16
CORRESPONDENCE.
ACTUAL TEST OF REFINEMENT.

Excuse country girl for troubling you,
| still as l read this page attentively l feel
| that l have certain right to ask infOrma-
| ton about matters whereof l am ignorant.
! A few weeks ago it was said that ones de-
| pertinent at table was an actual test of re-
| fnement aud culture. This may be, but
| where a person has lived in retirement they
! may be ignorant of the laws of etiquette,
| and if tried by this test would be consid
cred lacking in the essential characteristics
| OF lady. | am going to spend part of
| the summer with fashionable people, and
Will you kindly, through these columns,
give me some hintsa Truly yours, L.
| While it may border on the eXtravagant
to assert that department in the dining
room is an actual test of culture, refine
ment and good breeding, yet few will deny
that at the table there is ample room for the
display or for the lack of qualities which
are commonly associated with the ''well-
bred'' The writer of this letter justly ap-
preciates that one must have the advan-
tages of good society to understand thor
oughly the laws of etiquette There are,
however, few rules belonging to the table
that are not affected by fashion and are
applicable under all circumstances.
Invitations to dinner will be almost sure
to come to this young woman during the
summer sojourn, and among general rules
are these: Always reply promptly to any
invitation to a dinner; delay in this is a
great annoyance to the hostess, as she ar
ranges always for fixed number of guests.
No guest should ever be late; nothing but
broken bones or carriage can be an excuse
for an unpunctual guest, unless it be sud
den death, the only admissible excuse at
whist for not returning partners lead of
trumps. The seats at the table are desig-
mated by the hostess, and once seated there
should be no stiffness in ones upright pos
ture; to sit at ease not too near the table,
and not touching the back of the chair, is
the proper position. The use of the napkin
does not include that of the bib, and it
should be quietly unfolded over the lap
Neither is the knife to be used in conveying
food to the mouth. the fork is intended for
that use, also for much that was once
the province of the spoon. No
space is reserved at the table
for hands and arms, as it is supposed these,
lap. If one hand rests on the table it must
be only so far as the wrist and without any
playing with things upon the table. Soup
must be taken noiselessly from the edge
and not from the end of the spoon; in fact,
mastication should go on as quietly as pos
sible. Every one who would be considered
well-bred must enter into the conversation,
which will of course be of a general nature.
Meeting around social board can never be
regarded as solely for the purpose Of feed
ing, but the table should be a rallying point
where wit and humor may play, and where
people can meet for pleasant intercourse.
If a brown ring was never seen upon the
tablecloths there would be no occasion to
say do not pour tea or coffee into the saucer,
and if there were no accidents to china be-
cause of the spoon left in the cup it would
be useless to say that the spoons should be-:
laid in the saucer. Whef the dinner is
served in courses it is incumhent on the
guest to accept each one To. refuse wine
is optional. Some take it and leave it un-
tasted while others decline to have it
poysM at tlsar place. TeSefuse anything
psssed andsay you neveseat it is Shneces-
'ssfy and frequently &mbarrassihg tothes4aa
Hostess. while thsre6 no ob,eotion TO ac4
scept anything offered it is qdita as unnee
essaryto stats your peculiar whim as Re-
CARDS foods II
Always wait until the host gives thesig
nal for rising, and remain in the company
at least an hour after the meal. Instaking
leave it is proper to do so on leaving the
drawing room before putting on ones