Waterbury evening Democrat., 1891-04-02
CABMEN'S HUMOR.
Some Examples of the Witty Replies
 Made to Curious Ouestioners.

Made to Curious Ouestioners.
 In the matter of free-and-easy conver- sation the London Jehu has probably no equal, says the London Tid-Bits. For shrewdness and originality his ob- servations will compare favorably with the utterances of any other class of men. It is, however, as a street humor- ist that cabby displays to most advan- tage his natural gifts; and it is no exag- geration to say that he never misses an opportunity for turning his talent to good account.
 One member of the genus was being chaffed once in regard to his badness. 'I was always bald," replied cabby. ''Cos why? My mother lad so often to pat me on the ed an say: Well done, Sam, my boy!' so she wore all my lair off," Again, a bus horse had fallen down on the slippery asphalt in Oxford street, and for time traffic was great ly impeded. Just then cabby came along on the off side, and took in the sit uation at a glance. Addressing himself to the policeman in attendance, and pointing with his whip to the prostrate steed, he said: "Why don't yer take is name and address, sir?''
 A wordy contest between cabby and his fare generally ends in the discom- future of the latter and the amusement of the onlookers. On one occasion two middle-aged ladies of sour and miserly aspect had engaged a cab to take them to the Royal academy. In discharging the driver, in the presence of a throng of people, they handed him his fare in i siXpences and three-penny pieces. He counted them carefully, and in reply to a tartly uttered question by one of the ladies, answered:
 "Well, no marm, it ain't right. But as ye must lave been long time saving up for this yere hannual treat, won't be hard on ye;" at which the two ladies hurried off, amid the ill-suppressed laughter of the sightseers.
 On another occasion, a ''hansom' drew up at the enSrance of a we'll. known place of entertainment in the Strand. A gorgeously appareled masher alighted, and, having assisted out a lady who accompanied him, handed the driver the exact legal fare. Cabby looked at it for few seconds, turned il over in his hand, and then in loud but benevolent tones exclaimed: "'Adn't you an the lady better get in again, sir an lave yer moneys worth? could lave done yer another twenty yards fol this," he added, and giving another lool at the coin, expressive of the utmost contempt, he slowly arranged his knee cloth and drove away.
 In the way of satirical humor, tn, following will require adeal of beating A "hansom" was being driven along leading thoroughfare at a pretty smar pace, when another cab coming iron the opposite direction ran into it witt just sufficient force to lodge the collid ing horse's head on the back of the oth CT horse.
 The expected outburst of strong ad jectival language did not take place but instead the driver of the hanson that had been run into sat still, and with whitening politeness, observed the other driver: "When your 'oss 'av seen all e wants to see across my 'osD' back, p'r'aps 'e'n get down. But, bles yer 'art, there's no hurry"
 It is always amusing to listen to tn , sulphurous exchange of compliment between cabby and a 'busman, who } often sufficiently clever at repartee t cause cabby's attempts at ridicule to re coil on his own head. Here is a case 1 point: One afternoon westward-goin bus picked up a lady and gentlema right out of the very hands of cabby Piccadilly.
 , In pulling up. the bus very nearl , came to grief against a heavy van. Thi . was the Jehu's chance. You're a nic , sort of party to lave charge of the led of families, you areI" he shouted to tn bus driver. "Why didn't you brin yer mother out to 'elp ye old the 'osse on their feet2"
 @ Like a lightning flash came the rotor t Bring my mother out, indeed, whil . there's such faces as yours knocl . in about the streetsi Not mel don
 want to lave the old 'ooman frightene
 to death. She's been too good a mothe
 to me-"