The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-06-05
Thcstanding army Of America is found
chiefly in the street-cars or the eleva-


Tho tanding army ofAmericai is found
chiefly in the street-cars OF the eleva-
ted roads.-Puck.
The man who is believed in every
thing he says is far luckier chan the
nan who always tells the truth.-Mer-
chant Traveler.
Jay Gould began his busihessncarcer
by sweeping out a brokers' office. Sub
sequently he cleaned out the broker
YonkerS Statesman.
The philosophy Of everyday life
proves that many a tailor-made girl
a take the conceit out of a self
made man.-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
The self-closing door-spring is an
awful aggravation to the man who is
going out of your office mad and wants
to slam the door.-Somaerville Journal.
A Meadville barber has received a
White Cap notice. 1t is doubtful if
even this will provide his CONVERSE
ton with terminal Notwithstanding
Chronicle.
Before the wedding-day "a girl gen
orally overrates the man she is to mar.
ry, but she more than makes up for
her misjudgment observation-disclosures
vile Journal.
Scribbler-"What do you think of
my Tale of Poverty in the last Bazoo?''
Cynicus-"Well carried out; it was
poor from beginning to end."-Har-
per's Bdzar.
Next time the contribution box
comes your way, remember that you
needn't expect to acquire the odor of
sanctity in exchange for one cent
1erre Haute Express.
Brown-And SC you managed to
fetch Mrs. Jones around after all, old
fellow? Why, we heard she was on
the point of death. How did you
manage itp Jones-Shot her doctor.
Lies.
Mrs. Ringwood Showing her Gin
cinnati guest about the place)-This is
our deer park! Mrs. Packcr-They're
pretty; but shouldn't think you could
get lard enough out Of the whole lot to
fry a doughnut!-PucG.
To avoid trouble in money matters a
husband should always make his wife
an allowance. Probably she will have
to keep making allowances for him,
and that will sort of even matters up.
-SomerviMe Journal.
Giles-You should be careful not to
get in the way of a draft at this time
of the year. 1t is dangerous. Brown
You bet it's bad to have a draft on
you. One Of them bankrupted me
some years aco.-NeW York Sun.
Judge-it, as you say, you found
this wOmau so violent and headstrUug
even during the engagement, why did
you marry her? Abused husband-
(meekly)-I-I didn't marry her. She
married me.-New York Weekly.
Tcachcr-What does Condillac say
about brutes in the scale of beingl
Seminary grille says a brute is an
imperfect man. Teacher-And what
is man? Seminary girl-Man! 0,
mans aperfcct brute!-Spotted Cayuse.
Wife. (rcading morning paper)-
Why, the Mormons actually still claim
the right of having two, three, and
sometimes four wives at once.-Hus.
band-Why, at that rate, how can q
mar ever hope to be a widower.-
Time.
The Gar has just decorated a pri.
vate soldier who remained at his pos
and guarded 500, 600. 900 during ar
earthquake. 1t is a long ways from
Russia to Canada, but the Car didn'
seem to figure on that.-Detrou Ere,
Press.
Disappointed author-And there il
one person whose manuscript is neve
returned, you say? Editor-O, yes
"Would you mind telling me who Ii,
TSP" 80, no! He's the fellow who fail
to enclose a stamped and directed G.
velope."-11me.
"Can you tell me where I can fin
'Ricnzi's Address'p" asked a youns
lady of u clerk in a Brooklyn book
store. "Have you looked in the di
%rectory?' he replied.-Harper's Bazaar
Some scientific men declare that it i
impossible for a man to think withou
words. That may be, but we all know
that it is possible for mar to use word
without thinking SomerriHe Journal
Social philosopher-''Fifty years ag
our statesmen and orators doomed u
among the first in the world. Wher
arc they now?i' Able editor-s'II
newspaper offices ."-Ncw York Week
ty.
There is only n bigger bore tina,
the man who is always talking abou
the days when he was rich, and that j
the man who continually brags abou
how poor he used TO be.-Ierre Huut
ETpress.
Beggar-Please give me a dime. d
not judge me by present appearance
but remember l oncedid business wit
Jay Gould. Citizen-I believe you
my man, l believe you. Here's a dol
lar.-Epoch.
.Bella-Don't I look like a perfeo
fright in my new sacqne, though
Clara (absent mindcdly)-Yes. Bell
You mean thing! Ill never spca
to you again as long as live.-Bu1
, Hngton Free Press.
+ Wickwtre-My belief is that we wi
all follow the same occupation in til
. next world that we do here. Yabsle
l SO? What use will there be fe
plumbers where there is no waterp-
Zerre Hau!e Express.
The oil of black birch is a produ,
: almost as precious rs The altar Of rose
: and is worth about $SO per gallon. 4
: for the ordinary birch and hickory O
well, we all remember what it use
to bring.-OA City blizzard.
Philadelphia art dealer -"Live
:, New York, eh?" New Yorker (prou,
ly)-"I am an Alderman in that cit
: sir" 30! james, show the gent,
man our new stock Of barroom pi
tures."-PhikadelphiaR Record.
Proposed By I'ype.Writers.
Young Thubs is a good busine
. man, but outside Of business he is NJ
such q good manager. He had a bea
tiful typewriter, one of the perfectt
, kind, aged 10 years, better than me-
3 with laughing blue eyes. Havil
fallen in love with it, he one day s
down beside it, and told it that
/ wanted to dictate a letter of love to h
sweetheart. 1t went to work mocha
. ically:
. my, dearest angel, 7 love you deeply. q
: vOtedly: no other being could ever ms pl