The Portland daily press., 1891-10-02

@1 pASSSAAh-ds CuotoAAnA
Seven sheep were standing,
By the pasture wall.
"Tell me-" said the teacher
To her scholars small.
lone poor sheep was frightened,
Jumped and ran away
One from seven-how many
Woolly sheep would stay?"
Up went Kitty's fingers
farmers daughter she,
Not so bright at figures
AS she ought to be-
Please, ma'am-"wen then, Kitty.
Tell us II you know"
"Please, If one jumped over,
All the rest would 60"
Brandon Buckslw.
Their RentIs action and good effect on
the system really make them perfect little pill.
They please those who use them. Carter's Little
Liver Pills may well be termed Perfection"
Mrs. Pry-Pve been to Mrs. Slye's funeral, and
must say she was the most aggravating woman
I ever knew.
Mrs. Quiz-For mercy's sake, what has she
Mrs. Pry-I don't know as you'll believe me,
but actually there was no age on her cof1n plate
Isn't 1t disgraceful?'-Boston Transcript.
Halls Hair Remover has prevented many
heads from being bald. 1t will help you.
The following story was told by veteran min.
lister. A friend met him, and after the usual
courtesies, asked how the church was getting on.
60" said Fir. Brown, "church matters are look
ing up"
..Is there general awakening9"
Congregations larger"
. PRAYER meetings better attended9"
I've" .W!sll, what h do you mean by church matters
ssIu ~
on its back, and it has to look up; hasn't life
enough TO look anywhere else,"-Boston Tray-
eler.
Ladies admire Ayers Hair Vigor for the rich
lustre it gives the hair 1t restores orgl nal color
Old Citizen Ito edItor)-Your friends want you
to make the race for mayor of the town.
Editor-Whats the salary?
Old Citizen-It's six dollars year and exemp-
tion from road tax.
Editor I'll not enter the race. / believe the
once should seek the man, and If 1t jumps on me,
knocks me down, handouts and tars and feathers
me, ~ make my VIII aud take 1t INTO the family
but not unless.-Atlanta Constitution.
No one knoWs.betteY than those who
have used Carter's Little Liver Pills what relief
they have given when taken for dyspepsia. di zzi-
ness. pain in the side, constipation, and dsordered
stomach.
Newsb0y- Extrai Extra!
Gentleman How much is it?
Newsboy-Two cents. Have one?
Gentleman-No.
Friend 1.-Two cents is the regular price of that
paper. Why don't you buy?
Gentleman-If there had been anything In 1t
worth reading the boy would have charged hve
cents.-Street Smiths Good News.
Ayers Sarsaparilla contains no harmful ingre-
dents, and is the best blood purifier.
Cause and Eject
my little boy, sir, died. when he was two
months old, just after he was vacclnated."
HOW very sadi Had he been baptIZed?"
ried him of, sirl"-LOndon Punch.
Heres to the maiden of bashful fifteen.
And here's to the widow OF forty,"
They have each reached a period in life wbap
most females need assistance in tiding them over
the shoals which so often completely wreck their
after lives. In producing regularity ana healthy
action OF the female organs, DIR. Plerces Fayorite
Prescription stands without peer. At a time
when nature gives them increased burdens 90
many young girls have their health for life shat
tered. If you wish your daughter to miss those
periodical, agonizlng backaches, and dizzy head.
| aches, languid and tired feelings, Accommodated
with rough. pimply skin, and dull, heavy eyes. get
her bottle OF DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip.
ton. If you have reached the later period of
danger and weakness, you will need bottle. too
See wrapper on bottle for printed guarantee
Satisfaction given in every case, or money re-.
| turned
Husband Confound that Smith he's the most
forgetful man on earth. asked him yesterday to
post letter for me, and by Jove, he forgot all
Wife-Well, why didn't you?
Husband-I forgot tc.-Yankee Blade,