The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1891-06-27

There is the landlord, riotous in obse-
quiousness; tho landlady, beaming with
smiles, but measuring your capacity for
imposition with unerring accuracy; the
head waiter, a superior foreign being,
usually GermanFrench adventurer in
full dress, who performs all offices with
scorn, but now standing there with
bland permissibility in his face for your
coming trial; tho porter aud tho second
porter, who grin at you this once to ever
after grind; "boots,n that soddon, grtmy
slave who never sleeps and who is ever
at war with all other souls within the
place; "buttons," in uniform as to
clothing, but in permanent gloom as to
face, save when you arrive and he
lights up with Joy at the misery he
alone can cause you; half dozen odor.
GUS stabIemen, who each watch their
chan[a to leer and pull their foreloCks
ut you in effort to establish secret re.
coenition OF what you may expect. Il
you do not placate them; the bar.mOid,
who knows, you know, that 1t ID sho
alone who supplies tho awful volumin-
business and minuteness Of that newt
able bill, and who giRgles and gyrates
as she sees your own writing rocognt-
ton Of what is to como; and a number
OF muscular cattle called Chambermaids,
who in trice have settled the manner
in which you shall be rackGd and
wrecked within the precincts Of the
dark, clammy den to which you are
certain to be consigned.
In moment tho cold realism Of your
situation has CONC. You are inside a
low, dark, narrow hall and alone. At
one side is the bar, an affair constructed
like an American railway station news
stand, which is shut out from sight
whenever tho bar-mnid wishes to yawu,
the iandiady desires to abuse her Boni-
face, or yolhr own objurgations become
too numerous and decisive. Opposite
is the Coffee Room" long, low, cheer
less place, with long, low, cherries
table, spreNdwith q cloth ever decorated
with misplaced matter. II you have
the good fortune to finally get anything
to cat in the place, you will have to par
take Of 1t with q blowsy tourist possess
ing one sofa, u drunken guest snoring
upon another, q crowd OF drovers, oil
politicians or OF the oonst0bulary or
military, swigging ale or stout beside
You, aud the whole room as blue as a
channel.tog with the smoke OF tobacco
Directly you are in the prison-iike hall
The head waiter is gone; the porter has
grabbed your luggage and disappeared
''bco!s" ard "buttons" have vanished
landlord, landlady and bnr-maid have
been swallowed up IN the incon
ccivGbe somewhere behind tn,
bar; stablGmcn and chHmbGrlnaids are
whisked into undiscoverablc retreats
Great, gloomy doors, black, mouldy
walls, hard, forbidding ceilings, alone
confront you. You bang your knucEie
against the bar.window. Landlord
landlady or bar.maid, by and by ap
pears, giving you look of panied sur
prise, and then disappears. You call
t'porterr - "Bootsh - Buttons!
"Chambcrmnid" There is not even
rcprovinr glance now in answer. Yol
call and bang some more. This tim
echo alone reproves you: Cropping
about the place, you snatch at bell
cord big ms your wrist, with tasscl a
big MS Your head. This you tug AZ yor,
Violently. Tho clang and clamor Of tn
bell, which you cannot locate, iillth
whole place. The bar-window como
up with slam, goes down with n SLAM
AID an expression OF disgust and d;
may is caught escaping between tn
slams Then, pcertng ont OF quickly
opened doors are seen faces tuil 9
grave surprise; you hear about Won g g
CARNATIONS OF disgust and dismny; All
in another instant oil these faces Nr
gone, and you are again alone. The