The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1891-03-06
A CYCLOPEDIA STORY.
Pathetic Scene Witnessed Upon
the Delivery of Volume T.

Havin' lived next door to the Hob.rt
place t'r goin' on thirty years, calc'late
that l know jest about ez much about the
case as any body else now on airth, except
in perhaps it's OIL Jedge Baker, and he's so
plaguey old md so powerful feeble that he
don't know nothin'.
1t seems that in the spring NV 47-the
year that Cy Watson's Oldest boy wuz
drowned in West river there come along a
book agent sellin' volyumes md tracks FIR
the diffusion Nv knowledge md, havin' got
The recommend Of the minister md NV the
selectmen, he done an ALFRED Big bust
ness in our part NV the county. His name
wuz Lemuel Higgins, md he wuz ez likely
talker ez | ever heerd barrin' Lawyer
Oonkey, md every body allowed that when
Conkey wuz round he talked so fast that
the town pump I'D haveto be creased every
twenty minutes.
One Nv the first NV our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander Ho-
bart. Leander had jest marr'd one Wv the
Peasley girls, md had moved into the old
homestead on the Plainville road-old Dea-
con Hobart havin' give up the place to him,
the other boys havin' moved out West dixie
q lot o. darned fools that they wllzD. Lee
ander wuz feelin' his oats jest about this
time md nuthin' wuz too good FIR him.
"Hattie," SEE he, 81 guess I'll have to lay
IN few books FIR readin' in the winter
time, md I've half notion to subscribe FIR
acyclopeedy. Mr.. higgins here says they're
invalerable in family, and that we orter
have 'em."
WAL, to make long story short, Lean
der bargained with Mr.. Higgins for q set NV
them cyclopeedies, md he signed his name
to long printed paper that showed how he
agreed to take a cyclopeedy oncet in so
often, which wuz to be ez often ez a new one
NV the volumes wuz printed. A cyclopeedy
isn't printed all atoncet, because that would
make it cost too much; consistently the man
that gets it up has 1T strung along fur apart,
so as to hit folks oncet every year or two,
and gin'rally about harvest time. So Lee
ander kind Nv liked the idee, and he signed
the printed paper md made his affidavit toit
afore Jedge Warner.
The fust volyume of the cyclopeedy stood
on q shelf IN the old seckertary in the set
tin'-room. about four months before they
had any use FIR It, One night Squire
Turner's son come over to visit Leander md
Hattie, and they got to talkin' about ap
pies, md the sort of apples that wuz the
best. Leander allowed that the Rhode
Island greenin wuz the best, but Eat
tie and the Turner boy stuck up fir the
Roxbury russell, until at last a happy
idee struck Leander, and SEE he: "We'l
leave it to the cyclopeedy, b. gosh! Which
ever one the cyclopeedy SEE is the best will
settle it."
''But you can't find out Hothin bout Rox
bury russets nor Rhode Island greenlns II
our cyclopeedy," SEE Hattie.
'sWhy not, I'd like to knowP' SEE Leander
kind uw indignant like.
"Cause ours hain't got down to the F
vet" SEE Hattie. 'All ours tells about i:
things beginnn' with AZ
"Well, amt we talkin' about applesp
SEE Leander. you aggervate me terrible
Hattie, by insistin' on KNOWN what YOU
don't know nothin' bout
Leander went TO the seckertary md tool
down the cyclopeedy md hunted all through
it FIR apples, but all he could find wuz sap
ple-See Pomology."
HHow in thunder kin see Pomology,'
SEE Leander, "when there amt no Pomolog!
to seel Col durn cyclopeedy, anyhow"
And he put the volyume back onto thu
shelf md never sot eyes into it agin
sThat's the way the thing run FIR years
nd years Leander would we gin up thu
p!aguey bargain, but he. couldn't; he hal
signed a printed paper md had swore to i
afore a justice of the peace, Higgins
would have had the law on him il he hat
throwed up the trade.
The most aggervatin' feature NV it al
wuz that q new one Of them cussed cycle
needles wuz allus sure to show up at tn
wrong time-when Leander wuz hard up o
had lest been afflicted some way or other
His barn burnt down two nights afore tn
volyume containin' the letter b arrived AM
Leander needed all his chink to pay f.
lumber, but Higgins sot back on that aft
davit and detied the life out NV him
"Never mind, Leander," SEE his wife
seothin' like, tits a good book to have il
the house, anyhow, now that we've got
baby
"Thass So" SEE Leander, "babies doe
begin with B, don't it,"
You see their fust baby had been born
they named him Peasley--P easley Hobart
alter Hattie's folks. SO, SEEM as how
rv,,z pavin' FIR book that told about babies
leander didn't begredge that FIVE dollar
80 very much, after all
"Leander," SEE Hattie one forenoon
sthat B cyclopeedy amt no account Their