Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-03-17
TALK OF rHE DAY.

y
$25 for what another charges IS.
Why is pretty girl like bank notes
Because they 10th have face value. -
IPittsburg Dispatch.
There is nothing more discouragiRg to
man than thoughts of how great he
intended to he. [Atchison Globe.
The man who would shine in society
must first learn to dance-begin at the
foot. as it were. II EImira Gazette.
Envy-The man with rheumatism has
no patience with the giddy young folk
who dance -IDdllas CTexas) News
In a Sad Plight. t.-Belated passenger
When does the next train go? Ticket
agent-lt's just gone. II Boston Courier.
Cheerfulness has been called the bright
weather of the heart People who have
it are always welcome. -[New Orleans
Picayune.
Every friend you have is close
friend, If you are i'm a position where
You would like to borrow money
lAtchison Globe.
Love makes the world 60 round, but
it finds it impossible on occasions to in
duce the girls father to come round
LSt Joseph Gazette.
There is no solitude so miserable as
that of the man alone in a noisy city
unless it be that of man alone with a
noisy baby. IL [Elmira Gazette.
Jinks-Has there been any scarcity of
money in Europe? Winks-There was
with me. had to come back in the
steerage. -[New York Weekly.
He-What do you think of this carpet
have selected for you, my dear? She
(enthusiastically)-It would be hard to
beat, my love. -lDrake's Magazine.
Innocent-Why do the gentlemen al
ways go out between the acts at the
opera? Wiseacre-My brother SAYS to
get an opera glass. Buffalo Express
She-Are you really fortune hunter
and nothing moreP He-Certainly not.
want sensible wife to go with it, who
can take care of it for us.-[Washington
Star.
Making Himself Known. New Clerk
Are you customer of ours, sir2 The
Other-Well, should say SO. Why, /
owe you over $780, Il Clothier and Fur
nisher
Quidnunc-What makes your hair so
much grayer than your whiskers? Bull
finch-Why, my hair is great deal
older than my whiskers. - boston
Courier.
Infelicitous. = Miss Holdon - You
know, Mr.. de Troit, we are of a very old
New York family. Mr.. de Troit-Yes.
Father says he remembers you as girl.
-[Puck.
All Else Forgotten. -"Didn't he once
say he would never speak toyou again? ="
Yes; but he saw had a cold, aud he
couldn't resist the temptation to tell me
of sure cure.
"Mr. p Cunious is a bright. breezy
fellow, is he not ?" said Hobb; aud Dobb
replied: Il should think he might be- he
is always trying to raise the wind. ~
Boston Bulletin.
Genevieve (the knowing)-Did he ever
press you to marry him? Laura (the in
nocent)-Oh, dear, mol Ishouldnt per-
NIT him to until we were engaged =
lMunsey's Weekly.
Miss Hildegarde Hawthorne, the eld-
est daughter of Julian Hawthorne, has
just made her debut at sweet II. She
Is tall, 1.-THE, very fair, aud intensely
aristocratic looking.
For holding forth to your friend the
Atchison Globe offers the following: "If
you want to keep your friend do not tell
him disagreeable truths about himself
or fiattering ones about yourself.
Clayton-How do you like that type
writer Isent you? Is size accurate and
careful enough for you2 Rawley-No
doubt of her being careful. She stops
and asks me low to spell every word. =
Continent.
Benevolent Citizan-You should he
ashamed. man of your physical pow
ers. to be begging quarter Tramp
Ahi Possibly. How would half dollar
harmonize with my prowess ?-[ New
York Herald.
Mrs Small, asked prospective Gus
toner, what is your charge per week
for boarding?" "Seven dollars. sir. /"
Is that with or Without" with or
without what?" "Plunes. n-[Spring.
field Graphic
She-Now, how old would you take
me to be? No fattery, now. He
About 40. That is, by striking an aver
age. You talk as wisely as a woman of
80, and look like girl of 20 Indian.
apolis Journal.
When girl is 16 her ideal man is
named Reginald. When she is "A it
doesn't matter to her very much what
his name is SO long as it will work well
on the business end of check. .-fSom.
erville journal.
Don't find fault with your neichbors.
even though you have nothing else to
do If you want occupation you can
get good deal longer job 10y hunting
for the virtues that they think they pos
sess. Bonneville Journal
He Explained promptly-Young Mr..
Deadbroke - want TO marry your
daughter. Old man SurpIus-What
forS Deadbroke-Well, / don't know
exactly. but hope it's not for less than
100000 Il Boston Courier.
Colonel Todd (old Kaintuck)-why
do you suppose Colonel Nipper jumped
into the river? Colonel JuIep-He was
insane-stark mad-oiherwise he would
not have chosen such a revolving means
of suicideI-[New York Herald
Little Johnny - Say, father, what
makes the baby cry every time it wakes
mp Rroxxu-NVaIl frnr,, What Lnou,