The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-04-17

scooped him at Waterloo. He wanted
to do too much, and he did It'll They
scooped him in at Waterloo, and he
subselently died at st. Helenyl There's
where the gratest military man this
world ever produced pegged out It was
rather hard to consine such man as
him to st. Heleny, to spend his larst
days in catchin mackeril, and walllin up
and down the dreary beach in military
cloak drawn titely round him, (see pict-
er-books), but so it was. He'd of the
Armyr Them was his larst words So
he had bin. He was grate Don't
wish we had pair of his old boots to
command sum of our Brigades"
This pleased jerome, and he took me
warmly by the hand.
alexander the Crate was punl1ins," l
continnered, "but Napoleon was punldn-
ser! Alic wept becaws there was no
more worlds to scoop, and then took to
drinkin He drowndid his sorrers in the
howin bole and the howin bole was too
much for him. 1t ginerallyis. He under
took to give a snake exhibition in his
boots, but it killed him. That was a
bad joke on Alic!'
"Since you air so solicitous about
France and the Emperor, may ask you
how your own country is getting alongY'
sed jerome, in pleasant voice.
"It's mixed" | sed. But l think we
shall cum out all right"
Columbus, when he dislkivered this
magnificent continent, could hav had no
idee of the grandeur it would one day
assoom," sed the Prints.
ut cost Columbus twenty thousand
dollars to fit out his explorin expedition"
sed /. IF he had bin sensible man
he'd have put the money in hoss rail
road or a gas company, and left this
magnificent continent to intelligent saw
ages, who when they get hold of good
thing knew enuff to Keep it, and who
krockt Liberty in the he'd with slung-
shot. Columbus wasn't much of feller,
after all. 1t would hav bin money in
my pocket if he'd staid at home. Chris
ment well. but he put his foot in it when
he sailed for America"
We talked sum more about matters
and things, and at larst riz to go. Il
will now say good bye to you, noble sir,
and good luck to you. Likewise the
same to Clotildy. Also to the gorgeous
persons which compose your SCOT. If
the Emperor's boy don't like livin as the
Tooleries, when he gifts older, and would
like to imbark in the show bizniss. let
him come with me and I'll make man
of him. You find us sumwhat mixed,
as | before obsarved. but come again
next year and you'll find us clearer nor
ever. The American Eagle has lived too
sumpturusly of late-his stummic be-
cum foul and he's takin site emetic.
That's all. We're gettin ready to strike
n big blow and sure one. When we
do strike the fur will fly and secession
will be i'll the hands of the undertaken,
sheeted for so deep IA grave that nothin
short of Gabriel's trombone will ever
awaken it! Mind what say. You've
heard the showmanr
Then advisin him to keep away from
the Peter Funk auctions of the East, and
the proprietors of corner-lots in the
West, l bid him farewell and went
away
There was n levee at Senator What's
his-name's, and thought I'd jine in the
festivities for spell. Who should see
but she that was Sarah Watkins, now
the wife of our Congresser, trippin in the
dance, dressed up to kill in her store
close. Sarah's father used to keep little
grosery store in our town and she used
to clerk it for him in busy times. was
rushin up to shake hands with her when
she turned on her heel, and tossin her
he'd in contemptooius manner, walked
away from me very rapid Halo, SAL"
| hollered, cant you measure me
quart Of them best melasses? | may
want Goldfish. also" / guess this re-
minded her of the little red store, and
''the days of her happy childhood"
But fell in with nice little gal after
that, who was much sweeter than Sally's
fathers melasses, and axed her if we
shouldn't glide in the messy dance. She
sed we should, and we Glode.
l intended to make this letter very
seris, but few goaks may have accident
ally crept in. Never mind. Besides, I
think it improves komick paper to pub
lish goak once in while. Yours
Muchly. WARD (Arte,nus).
NOTES FROM BOSTON.