Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-05-08
PITH AND POINT.

An expert in handrighting-The mani
cure.
Sometimes in trade man kicks when
there is nothing to boot.
In Boston, it is said, there are people
who believe the bean to be ahead of cab
bage.
When is timckeepcr not time
kceper2 Five times out of ten.-Je,o-
slers' Circular.
If lovely woman smacks you on one
check you should turn her the other also.
- WASHINGTON Star.
Favorite song of the American heiress
and beauty: "When can read my title
clear. "-Boston Herald.
"You told me you were quill driver"
''Well9" "And here you are tending
geese" "Well2"-,&. Joseph Ne,os.
Stockholders usually hope for divi-
dcnds, but the dividends are often like
the Unprecedented Chicago Neos.
There is n Justice in Islip, Long Island,
of the name of Clock. His principal
business is to give time to the prisoners.
-Jeue!ers' Circular.
"This bnd sign" said Hicks, rs tho
single of Bludboory, Blithcrs IS Co.
was blown from its place and landed on
his high hat.-Basar.
Collector-"How about meeting this
note2" Merchant-''I can't do it to-
day. But I'll make note of this meet
ing.-Jeuelers' Circular.
Georgc-"Chaplcy is one of those fell
lows who have moro money than brains,
isn't he" Jessie-"Yes; and he is not
rich, either. n-Hayper's Bazaar.
One of the most amusing and harmless
of distractions that man is heir to is the
fancying what he would do if he were
somebody else.-.St. Joseph Ne,os.
elbow old is the Hessian fy2" asks
correspondent. Old rs the American
Revolution. Washington made the Hes
sian fly at Trenton. 7eras Sittings.
"Did you realize anything in TINT gil
gantic watch-manufacturing scheme you
were interested in2" eyes, l realized
that was chump. Chicago MeDs
The blue jays come when tho skies are bleak
The woodland paths to cheer,
But the green jays from across the creek
Are with us ali the year.
Washington Star.
Waitcr-"You didn't remember me,
sir" Diner with keen glance)-"And
1 don't now. Can't recall that ever
saw you before. "-Kate Fislcl's Washing
ton.
Father-sIf you expect to succeed In
public life, my son, you must have
push" Son--"I've got n pull, dad, and
that's better than push. "-Boston Tran
script.
Goldbags Cooking out at the tene.
ments)-"Alas! 1t must be very hard to
be poor" Wcntman-''On the contrary,
it's confoundedly easy to be poor. u
american Grocer
Jake Jimpson (after the engagemenD
--"Shall name the day, dear7" Cora
Bellows-"Oh, dear, mol" "Why not,
darling2" "You are too procrastinating,
Jake. "-M,o York Herald.
Young Mr.. Dedbroke-"I want to
marry your daughter" Old Man Sur
plus-'What for2" Dedbrokc-"Well,
don't know exactly, but hope it's for
not less than hundred thousand"
Natural philosophers who have devoted
much time to studying the subject warn
people to be mindful of themselves when
both the hour and minute hands of the
clock cover I. The clock might then
strike one.-Je,oelers' Circular.
Willie-"Well, I've seen oil I want to |
of this Delsarte business" Johnnie
"What is the Delsarte busincss2" az !
don't know, but there's lady in there
calling on mamma who says she teaches
it. 1t takes her five minutes to sit down."
Tribune.
Blushing Bride-"I want to get q
present for my husband, but hardly
know what to get" Clerk-"Why not
get one of these nice silk muf!iers to wear
eveningsa" Bride-"Oh, dear, no; my
husband never goes out nights" Clerk
-"Well,you might get it for next year."
No,, Yn,L o.,