davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
She Wanted to BE n Bird.

A certain young gentleman is court
ing a young lady. He called on her a
few evenings ago. She seemed to be
under the weather, and there was a
peculiar drug store smell in the room.
''What ails you, my darling?" he
cooed.
Il wish ! was n bird" sighed the
young lady.
$50 you could fly into my arms?'
quericd John, suggestively.
mo; l want to be bird, so l could
not get the toothache any more" re-
piled the lady, swinging on her jaw
and groaning audibly.-Texas Siftings.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
A pIeasin, Uncertainty,

Tourist lin Kansas)-Can you tell me
where the residence of Col. Hooks, the
real estate dealer, is?
Native-Wal, jest now it's four or five
mile from here, but (pointing to dark,
funnel-shaped cloud in the vest thar's
a cyclone comm over frum that way,
an if you'll wait awhile the house may
come right here to you an save you
the trouble of goin' down there to it.
Munsey'S Weekly
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

this window and saw her open the fur
mace door and place the silver carefully
inside, with the overcoat and jacket
neatly folded on top. When she re-
turned to the attic for more booty,
Harry, knowing she would be gone for
some time, went to the station house
and secured the services of the only
constable the place afforded Together
they returned to the house and saw
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
[. 2. Thomas & Son Co.,

For the don't empty
wheat this fall
ample quantity odenough full wheat and succeed
To supply this pantood the shape business We
anybody little Carolina Rock
and Kani together and call fertilizer but twenty three experience
the facilities enabled make
fertilizers that Will produce the desired results There isn't question
about IT, You will
haven't them and all desired information from
The Thomas Phosphaes standard and thoroughly
Jno t. Atkinson Sarversvile. Samuel
b. M Marshall d Son, Mars b. s. Rankin, Baldwin
Harvey Goehing Evans City. Bauuan, Saxonburg
t. Nj. Anderson, Butler. Jno. G.. Moore, McCandess.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
a Fair Shaker.

Sageman-A remarkable girl is that
Miss Snapper. You know her pretty
well; has she any leaning in the direc-
ton of any particular creed?
Bluntly-I can't say definitely, but
from the way in which she disposed of
my marital aspirations last evening l
should say that she was Shaker
Boston Courier.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
Not In the Wood.

Summer Boarder-I think, consider
ing the price pay, and the poor ae-
commodations you have, you might at
least treat me with respect.
Mrs. Hayforik-Well, mum, to tell tn
truth, can't feel much respect for peo-
pie what pays the big prices 1 charge
fer the sort of accommodations give
n. Y. Weekly.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
EXTERIOR OF EARNS.
It Can BE Made Attractive with Small
Additional Cost

\ subscriber, who is the owner of a
hundrcd-acre farm, and who is about
70 build new barn, asks for design
which viii present handsome appear
ance, and, if practicable. without great
additional cost. He is familiar with the
common construction OF such buildings,
where but little attention is given to
the exteriors, many of which might as
well be excluded from sight. In answer
TO his request we give two engravings,
one representing barn where some at
tention is given TO the outside appear
ance, and the other one of the plainest
character The interior arrangements
of both are nearly alike, except that
the handsome one, Fig =, has base
ment, which is partly occupied with
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

one be only one-half length As the
piclSets used in such fences are gener-
ally inches wide with spaces from
to inches, it can readily be seen that
this fence will turn all kinds of farm
stock as well as if all the pickets were
full length. The advantages of suck
plan are: l, A saving of one-fourth of
the picket material; 2, less wind sur
face, thus making it more substantial;
8, neat and tasty appearance.-A. f.
Whitright, in Ohio Farmer.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
4 Married Heilc and Bean.

Mrs. Gadsby-Thcir marriage was a
secret you know.
Mrs. Whisper-And, Judging by their
present conduct, | presume they were
not in it, eh?-Pucll.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
A Long Sentence.

II say, Bill" said one summer philos-
opher to another, as they lay beneath
a spreading tree, "did yer ever turn yer
attention to literatoor any?"
Il should say So"
whats the longest sentence you ever
run across?"
"Ten years." was the unhesitating
reply.-Washingt Post.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
The Ruling Passion.

Foreman of the Jury-Guilty of mur-
der in the first degree!
Judge-Prisoner at the bar, stand up
to receive the sentence of the court.
The Prisoner (who poisoned her hus-
band)- lin a minute, judge. Jennie Ito
her sister,, is my hat on straight
Life
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
Adding Insult to Injury.

Train Robber (''going through" the
passengers)-Well, swow! Got a gun
in your pocket, hev ye? If it wasn't
for my pressing engagements I'd turn
We over to the town authorities just
ahead, for carrying concealed weapons
without a permit.-Puck.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
Would Have the Desired Effect

First Chicago Woman-Mrs. Lake
front was here to-day and she inveighed
terribly against the divorce evil in this
city.
Second Chicago Woman-Shan we cut
her in society?
First Chicago Woman-No; l shall
whisper it about quietly that she Is
guilty of heresy.-Judge.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
4 Useless Expense.

Mr. de Laie-Do you suppose we shah
ever be able to drop a nickel in the slot,
and get wife?
Miss Wayting (in her most captivat-
ing tone)-Oh, it is unnecessary to go to
that expense, even now, Mr.. de Laie.
Brides are given away, you know
D11alr
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
An Egotlst.

A New York club man, not above the
average in brains, was visiting De-
troit girl recently, and when he went
away she was asking one of her friends
about him.
81 liked him well enough" she said,
'but he talked horse too much. Did you
notice that?"
"Wen, no." was the hesitating reply,
mot exactly. He talked donkey to me
mostly" :,
Il don't quite understand" she said.
puzzled somewhat
"Why, he talked about himself.
Detroit Free Press.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
AWAY In.

Scott-Jimson tells me his ancestors
occupied high positions in England.
Waltcrs-Yes several of them were
hanged on Tyburn hill.-Munsey's
Weekly
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
In Partuership.

She-And do you really love me as
much as you say, Harry?
He-Why, darling
She-Well, then, don't borrow any
more money from papa. He's charging
it up against what he'll give me when
we're married.-Judge.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
A SUGGESTIVE IDEA.

Plan for a Fence That Presents Many
Desirable Features.
AS there is a large amount of wire
and picket fencing being built at pres
ent, | will call attention to what con-
slider an improvement. Instead of every
picket being full length, let every other
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
The Resemblance Explained.

Eminent Parsonage = May l ask
whether you are related to the Mr..
Smith whom met at Venice last year?
Mr.. SMITH am that Mr.. Smith, sir.
Eminent Parsonage - All! that ac-
counts for the remarkable resemblance.
London Globe.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
Too Great a Risk.

Simpson Why didn't you take q
chance at that cake at the church fair?
Were you afraid?
Sampson-Yes; it was one my wife
halxed -.Iurv
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
WAY OF.

Dullpate (who prides himself on his
distracted air)-Did you ever notice
what n far-away look have sometimesP
Miss Spritellie-Yes. Is that because
Won are a little off?-Good News.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
A MYSTERY SOLVED.
Yow a Clever Trick Was Defeated
and a Thief Caught.

HE fates seemed
to be against my
marrying Harry;
we had so many
m j S h a ps con-
nected with the
event We were
to have had a
gran d church
wedding four
bridesmaids, a
maid of honor
and six ushers,
but one of the
bridesmaids had
pneumonia and
cou1d not serve:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

Husband-Who is that strange wom-
an I saw in the dining-room?
Wife-That's our servant girl She
has just got back from ten minutes
visit to the girl next door.-Judge.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

If the barn is 40 by go feet, it will
cost, together with the basement, about
5000 or $1,000, covered with rough
boards, or $1,000 or S1,5oo if they are
planed and painted, and with more fin
ish A heavy coat of crude petroleum,
put on the unplaned surface with a
coarse brush, by common active la
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
Mhere Ind uad thc Adrnntnrn.

THAT chimney is smoking all the
time" said Dodkins.
Yes" said his grandmother; but it
isn't such fool as to smoke cigarettes"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

Sappy-GoOd mawping, Miss lnwood;
are you-aw-alone?
Miss od-Unfortunately not at
present. Mr.. Sappy.-Munsey's Weekly.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
MAIN STREET.
Troutman Building
WASHINGTON STREET.
MARTINCOURT
a. Cn

Here we are do7n on Cunningham St. Almost every
body knows where we are if DO please look at the
above map Walk down Cunningham St. the right hand
side till YOU come to and you will find l.ee have
lots of room and pay and than donbd sales
year expect increase them much this All
who came last year to if had large stock and sold
as cheap as we advertised said modest in
declarations and said they did expect find half much
even reading advertisements You know and
of course will continue deal here but tell you
have twice large when you here before
ard still cutting prices To those who have been
here we want you tco We don't advertise blow.
If you don't find more stock here lower prices than you
ever expected reading advertisement will pay you
your time that it takes walk down here from Main ST.
Remember, keep every thing in line. Horse COL
lars Soc work bdles ST. work harness $S buggy har-
Sc wagon single trees roned 25c double-trees shafts
wheels poes shafts cushions tops harness OIL curry COMBS
brushes paint springs dasbes lap duster robes Blankets
whips CARTS bueeies spring wagons and everything and
Kramer wagons the lest wagons made.
Come and Look stock. We want get
acquainted with you, Remember who first brought
down the prices of bugge Butler county for your benefit
relying increased sales to make for small profits and the
public has stood by in way that makes like everybody
Yours ETC..
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21
A. E. GABLE,

" eterinary Surgeon.
Graduate of the Ontario Veterinary
College. Toronto. Canada.
DR.. Gable treats all diseases of the
domesticated animals, aud makes
ridgling. castration and horse den
tistry speciality. Castration per-
formed without clans, and all other
surgical operations performed in the
most scientific manner
Calls to any part Of the country
promptly responded 70.
Office and Inirmary in Crawford's
Livery. l32 West Jefferson Street,
Butler, Pa.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

Laura-What clever girl Jennie is!
She had sixty-seven offers of marriage
within a week after she left college.
Clara-Indeedl And she is not very
good looking.
Laura-No; but the subject of the es-
say that she read at her graduation was;
s'How to Keep House on Twelve Dol
lars a Meek. ."-Munsey's Weekly.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

"Who is more dear to you than you
husband?"
"My husbands wife. fudge
a Shrewd Girl.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-08-21

cattle-stalls and tool room, while Fig.
has them on the common floor. Fig. l
may be covered with unplaned boards
and vertical battens. while Fig. has
vertical boards without the battens.
The additional cost of Fig. ., as COM
pared with Fig. 1, will not greatly vary
from the following:
Additional lumber nails and work for bat
tens---- -. -. go
Exterior yc1tilators and gable %
Windows and shutters. -. ...-......... 55
Previous planting OF shade trees 10
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
The Depot Progressing.

The depot question is no longer a
chestnut. 1t pays to agitate public
Improvements. The delay in building
a new depot is owing to the fact that
large bodies are slow to move. 1t re
quires time to formulate plans and get
ready for such big undertaking as
that of our new depot. II the E. T.,
V. & G. Railroad Company do have a
way of hesitating long about such
matters, they likewise have a swiftness
that makes your head swim when they
get down to work. Only few days
go ground for the foundation was no
broken, and there was not the least
particle Of material upon the spot.
Phoenix like, a substantial wall is ris.
ing from the ground, which indicates
passenger depot of handsome de-
sign as we'll as one OF great splendor.
Fifteen thousand dollars is a snug lit
tie sum to be spent for depot, and it
will show like a mighty revelation to
a people who have so long looked upon
an old, dilapi lated relic OF antiquity,
where there should have been pala-
tial passenger station.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
Sam and the President.

Sam P, Bolton, OF this city who was
a member oil the committee appointed
to receive President Harrison and
party, is an acquaintance and former
friend o the President, having been a
member OF his Sunday school class in
Indianapolis. When the committee
of reception met the party at Bristol,
Mr. Bolton was introduced to the
President, not in name but as Sulli-
van county Democrat, who for some
reasons saw fit to vote for Mr., Harri-
son. The President smiled and grasp.
ing Mr.. Bolton by both hands, re.
marked that he was able to account
fer the way Sam voted. He at once
recognized Sam as former member
Of his Sunday school class Mrs.
Harrison also knew Mr.. Bolton and
greeted him most cordially. They
were all able to pass some social re.
marks about the pleasant associations
in former times, and before Mr., Har-
rison was honored wit. the chief ex.
ecntiveship Of the nation.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
A Pleasant Trip.

A number of johnson City people
went out to Erwin on yesterdays ex.
cursion over the Three C's.
They returned late in the afternoon
and all report a good time. 1t was
the occasion of land sale at Erwin
Eight lots or tracts of land were sold
in all. Among the purchasers were
the following from johnson City
G. G. Harris, Chas. Wofford and ]. P,
Summers.
The gentlemen under whose aus.
pices the sale was conducted rendered
the excursionists an enjoyable dinner.
The Three C's between this place
and Erwin is in much better condi.
ton than it was last fall, and trains
make fair speed and haul very good
loads considering everything.
Thus far the road has been paying a
very fair profit and It's freights are
increasing all the while. 1t is not
long since arrangements were made
to carry the mails to Erwin and other
points in Unicio over this road by way
of johnson City instead of sending it
out from Jonesboro, as in the days Of
fewer railroads.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
After Dinner Sneakers.

Impromptu speeches generally are
prepared beforehand, however, al
though some men are so clever at con.
cealing the fact that nobody catches
on" When speaker begins this way
when l accepted the invitation to
attend this dinner tonight it was with
the distinct understanding that I should
not be called upon to make speech,
and l was thoroughly surprised and
very much embarrassed at being told
two minutes ago that l was expected tC
make few remarks
When a man begins that way LOOK
out! He has been preparing his speech
for week and he isn't going to spare
anybody. As he progresses and get
warmed up to his work, and as Tho
minutes slip by, it is pleasant to lool
around the table and observe severa
individuals who do not participate en-
Enthusiastically in the applause. The!
laugh at the jokes absentmindedly
They have q preoccupied, troubled
look. These are the other gentlemen
who expect to be called on themselves
but are afraid that the man who i
speaking will never leave off.-Wash
ington Star.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
The Fetish Man Abroad.

When abroad the fetish man is al.
ways conspicuous figure in a village.
He wears tall hat Of animal skin,
around his neck hang suspended by
strings few small specimens of his
wares, and slung around his shoulders
are little parcels Of charms, into which
are stuck birds feathers. Metal rings,
to which mysterious little packages are
attached, clash and clang as he walks,
serving, together with liberal supply
of iron bells fastened to his person, to
announce the Nganga's presence; and
as if his body did not offer q sufficient
surface to display all his magical outfit
he carries, slung over his left shoulder
In woven pocket, load of wonder
working material.
A peep into fetish mans sack dis
closes a curious assortment of prevent
ives-eagles' claws and feathers, fish
bones, antelope horns, leopard teeth
tails and heads of snakes, flint stones
hairs OF the elephants tail, perforated
stones, different colored chalks, eccen
trio shaped roots, various herbs, etc
There are sufficient reasons for hi
carrying these with him; If he left
them in his village some one might stea
them, and, again, provided as he is, ht
can administer at a moments notice t.
suffering humanity some devil proc
mixture. e. j. Glave in Century.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
Between Bites at Breakfast

Roast snipe go mighty nice Just
now.
The physician may be called grip
men now.
A Savannah undertaken adyertises q
"grand spring opening of things in
my line
Few restaurant cocks know how to
make good strawberry short.cake. The
home made kind, eith the rich juice
is most popular.
The St. Louis Globe Democrat Gre.
publican) thinks the chances are that
Blaine will be the next Republican
candidate for President.
A very nice desert is made of mer
ingue custard and bananas. Slice
the bananas and stir them in the Gus
tard just before taking off the range
Maj. Mckinley is a rising star O.
after dinner speech-msking, and it il
expected that he will be able to take
Mr.. Depew's place if that gentleman
should happen TO be sent to jail
Dr. Talmage pleads guilty to (
weakness for playing blind mans buff
He is not the first truly good maj
who has had a sneaking iondness TO
games in which pretty girls coult
play and kissing was one Of the for
feits.
II liked your sermon very much to
day" said the I'D lady to the clergy
man.
Indeed ?"said he, evidently pleased
ayes" she went on. at reminde,
me so much OF one | read when l wa
! a girl. Boston Post.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
One idea of Dinner.

a Buffalo woman tells this little In
cidont Illustrating the peculiar con
servNtism of the British provincial ma.
iron; MY brother married young
Canadian girl, the daughter of colo.
NAL family with whom the old En-.
glish formality has the sacredness of
Holy WEt. They had been boarding
at hotel for several months, but had
taken house not far from my home,
| saw Caroline a day or two before
they took possession, and with friendly
intent said to her, Dine with us, Car
rie, you and Jack, the day you move,
1t will save you trouble She thanked
me and said they would.
$50 on that Thursday had two ex.
ira covers laid, and expected these NOV
ing relatives Of mine for hasty snatch
between van loads, As | knew they
were aware that we dined near mid.
day, when 1 o'clock and my husband
came we only delayed the meal for five
or ten minutes, Then, no one appear
ing, we sat down. l supposed my sis
ter-in-law was too busy to come even
so far as my house, and thought no
more of her coming.
1--WE were eating our simple dessert
for 1t was quite my ordinary home din.
ner, when the bell rang and Mr.. and
Mrs. - find my sister-in-law and
brother, both in conventional dinner
dress, she with gloves and a pretty
apology on her lips for hardness, be.
cause, forsooth, she had to go back to
the hotel to dress, as her personal lug
gage was still there. My brother had
been dragged from his business, and
here they both were.
II did the best could but Caroline
of course saw that there was not much
ceremony about the engagement she
had put herself to such pains to suit
ably meet. To her q dinner invitation
is a solemn matter in all circum-
stances. Her Point of View in New
York Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
AT THE HOTELS.

PIEDMoNT.-A. s. Kirtlan, Knox
vile; VIM. Goodman, Philadelphia
H. +. Shoun, Greeneville; D. E
Kline, Louisville; N. T. Webb and
wife, Knoxville; S. G. Williams
Jonesboro; o. Sitgreaves, Bristol; W
L. Bayless, Knoxville; Jas. G Dobbie
N. Y. P. N. Smith, Knoxville Harry
T. Rumbo, Hot Springs, N. c.; Chas
T. Childs, Louisville; E, NJ. Thurston
Knoxville; E. H. Bonton, Baltimore
Q H. Vaughn, Roanoke; E. ]. Ham
ilton, Nashville w. D. Peters, Knox
vile.
GREENwooD.-Harry Levy, Knox
vile, Thos. E. Matsou, City; w. c.
Allen, City A. B. Biddle and family
Joysburg, Pa; G. H. Johnson, St.
Louis; Jas. s. Dobbins, knoxville
Jennie Ray and family, Boone, n G. 4;
]. G. Ray, Boone, N. c.; H. A. Ed.
huston, Boone, N. c.; ]. H. Brown,
E. T. V. & g.; J. R. Love, City.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-04-16
Personal.

BE-. Childress left yesterday for
Newport News, Va
Rev. ). o. Cowan and vile have re
turned from Brirtol.
Gen. J, T. Wilder returned ytster.
day from Chattanooga.
S. G. Williams came up from Jones
boro yesterday on No. 6
A. T. Shoun, Of Greeneville, was
registered at the Piedmont yesterday.
p. G. Range was among the eXour-
sionists who went to Erwin yesterday
Miss Lee Parker, the milliner, was in
disposed yesterday and unable to be
out.
Hen. @. G. Collins, of Elizabethton,
was circulating amor g friends in the
city yesterday.
Miss Minnie Barley, who was visit
at Mrs. Win Harris returned to Jones'
boro yesterday.
Prof. J. T. Browning and George
speck, paid THE COMET Office a visit
yesterday evening.
The Washington county Sunday
school convention will convene at
Jonesboro, April 80th.
Robert Burrow returned from Jones
boro yesterday, where he had been
acting as Judge Pro TEN. OF the Cir.
cult Court in the absence OF Judge
Brown, who has been confined to his
home by sickness.
Isaac Hampton, wife and daughter
returned to their home in 0ssian
N. Y, yesterday. Mr.. Hampton has
considerable property in this city in
the shape of tenement houses and
will probably move here to live him
self about June.
George Swingle Savage, OF the
American Bible Society, who organ
lied q branch OF the society in the
city Wednesday night, left yesterday
afternoon. Mr.. Savage resides in
Covington, KY, and is relative Of
]. G. swingle, Of this place,
W. d. Peters is in the city again
having returned late Wednesday
night from Chattanooga, whittier he
had accompanied the Presidential
party to furnish the Journal with q
report Of the proceedings. Mr.. Peters
was with the party all the way from
Roanoke to Chattanooga.
P. 8. Donnelly, the gentleman from
Ohio, who has been prospecting for
the erection OF large furniture fac.
tory here, in company with a party Of
citizens assembled Buffalo mountain
and had a view Of the splendid valleys
below. Mr. Donnelly returned to his
home yesterday. He thinks this a
wonderful country in many respects.