Los Angeles herald., 1891-05-13
voLUMINoUs BorcHwoRK.


The census of the United States is
thing fearfully and wonderfully made.
The HERALD, first OF the California
journals, called attention to its mon
strosities as developed under the foster
ing care of Mr.. Robert p Porter. His
allotment of 500 acres in potatoes for the
three states of Washington, Oregon and
California, struck us as a chef d'@ugre
of statistical ingenuity and energy. We
preferred to take the most pleasing view
Of this official exhibit. As we knew that
six hundred carloads of potatoes had
been shipped from Los Angeles county
alone-o of the fifty-four counties of
this state-during the past year, we
thought it better to call attention to the
remarkably prolific character OF soil
which could chronicle such miracles of
production from such limited area.
Our esteemed contemporary, the San
Francisco Chronicle, took the matter up,
and, arguing on the lines established by
the HERALD, it succeeded in extorting
a reply from the mighty and obfuscated
and obfuscating Porter. The fact is that
Porter is painstaking ass. He is i'm
bued with the spirit of the Kentucky
witness; and, having sworn that the
horse was sixteen feet high-or rather,
the contra of that proposition-h sticks
to it. His remarks are of the character
which confuse counsel. Puzzle headed
in his methods, he is equally puzzle
headed in his arguments, and the Chron-
icle easily knocks him out.
As the fast thronging bulletins of the
census reach us the reflection is borne
in on any intelligent man that the much
vaunted millennium will be made impos-
sible under, and that the world will be
submerged by, food of prolixity.
There is really no limit to the expanding
volumes and tones and RATS of statistics
that are piling up over the average
searcher after truth. The gray matter
of the brain of the ordinary student is
made aweary trying to take cognizance
OF the billions of so-called facts that are
thrust upon it. The fact that they are
really not facts complicates the problem
beyond endurance. We are distrustful
of our Biblical recollections, but we think
it was Solomon himself who said that
there is nothing new under the sun, and
that OF the making of many books there
is no end.
Some wise man of the modern era, who
has kept in mind the steadily multiply
ing volume of learning in all lines, has
said that the only recourse of much
vexed humanity is in index learning.
In fact, the way small people are forcing
themselves on the attention of man
kind, in view of the swelling pro-
portions of encyclopedias and bio
graphical dictionaries, he will have to
be very important parsonage indeed
who can claim three lines in any kind
of commemorative publication one
hundred years from today. AS to the
mass of facts which Will have been accu-
mulated by that time it makes ones head
dizzy only to think of them.
In this view of the matter it is GER
tainly crime to turn prolix fellow
| like Porter loose upon great country.
He is piling up cloud-capped towers of
! false statistics which are not only not
luminous but Extensively voluminous.
He is the great modern imitator of the
celebrated Italian historian Guicciar-
dini. That gentleman's memorabilia of
Italian affairs were of a character so
minute that men hid themselves in
caves when it was suggested that they
should read his works. A touching
tribute to their voluminousness was
given by an Italian convict who had
been sentenced to the galleys for
life. The merciiul judge, however, gave
an instance of the kindness of his heart
by allowing the condemned an alterna-
tive proposition. If he would consent
to read Guicciardini's history of Italy,
the sentence would be remitted. The
poor wretch grasped eagerly at this ave-
nue. OF escape. He persevered bravely
at the history until he came to the one
hundred books of the siege of Pisa,
when he threw down the bulky tome
and demanded to be led back to his oars.
Hard will be the task OF going over
the illimitable volumes of Porter's CEN
sus, but the hardship will be intensified
a hundred-fold by the mass OF unavail-
able rot that will make his census abso-
lutely valueless. 1t would be money in
the pockets of the people of tie United
States to destroy this worthless enumer-
alton, and have the whole thing done
over again. Bulky tones OF statistics
are of themselves a thing to be
dreaded, but when their bulkiness is only
rivaled by their unreliability it is pitt
full thing indeed to have the people of
the United States taxed for such botch-
work. The Chronicle, following in the
wake of the HERALD, has given the coup
de grace to Porter's census.
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THE bids were opened yesterday for a