The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-07-30

was going Oh inside. g.,
Another tupped me5ep the chest and
then listened, evidently with desire to
ascertain if he would be invited to
spend the day. While they were thus
amusing themselves with me the third
was taking measurements of my
height, breadthf4pth and style of
beauty. q was finally Informed that if
I had any useSfor my clio ;hes l could
put them on.
"Am sound?" asked.
by that time l wal weary of soldier
life, and prayed inwardly that they
had discovered enough diseases about
mesto start clinic. Unluckily, I was
healthy.
i was next given over into the tender
care OF an orderly. who was instructed
to conduct me to the cadet barracks at
the other; side Of the square. As we
started to cross the yard, he looked at
my glossy plug and chuckled.
"lf I'd a been you, wouldn't "a
worn that hat up;hcre," he said, COM
miseratingly;- that hats going to get
You into heap of trouble"
1t did. We had not proceeded a rod
before nearly every window of the
huge, three-sided barracks was filed
with bowling cadets, who had spotted it.
Take that thin9,away and drown it,
Orderly!z a. -
What kind OF, bate did you usc?"
Don't want any! Come around next
| week!'
"Block and rum
"Get on to the kid under the pipeyr'
PA, please kin l wear high hat?'
& These were some of the salutations
fthat greeted me and l realized that l
was in for it. l shivcred, but the or
derby never moved an eyelash. He was
accustomed to such pleasantries He
led me upstairs to the second floor
front room. He tapped upon the door,
| voice said: Come" and he left me to
! my fate.
want to say right here that I have
not exaggerated in the least, and that
+ am giving my actual experience for
| the benefit of prospective cadets. II
they succeed in obtaining appoint.
ments, they will bear me out in nv
statements.
"Why don't you come when you're
inyitcd?" yelled half dozen voices in
| chorus.
came. found myself in a room
about twelve by fourteen feet in d.
mansions. 1t was occupied by six
young men in cadet fatigue uniform.
They were the cadet officers who took
tender care of the verdant plebe and in
| stilled into his budding mind the first
principles of warriorship
had scarcely entered the room when
my hat was landed in one corner of the
room and my grip in another. Two of
them caught hand apiece, jerked it
down the sides of my legs, jammed the
little finger Of each hand along the
seams of my trousers, fattening out the
palms full to the front.
Another grabbed me by the shoul-
ders, placed his knee in my back and
pulled me out straight until l cracked.
Still another was busy dislocating nv
chin, while the fifth was jerking nv
feet into ''V'' shape. The sixth was
driving a tack into the wall at about
the height OF my nose.
After they had gotten me fixed to
their satisfaction, aud SO that looked
as II was ready to be conveyed to the
chamber OF horrors in the Eden Musee.
was informed that that was the first
position of soldier. Then pitied the
soldiers, although had never seen one
look like that. and wondered what
the last position Of soldier must be if
the first was as hard to do as that.
Compressed into this state of being.
l was marched over to the tack and
commanded to place my nose against
it and to move at my peril. Then, in
order to divert my attention from the
tack, so that they might be able to Jerk
me out of the first position of soldier
and thus have more fun with me by
fixing me up all right again, they
hurled such questions as these at me:
whats you name"'
"Age?''
Flows your mother?"
Got any dynamite in your grip?"
"Where'd you get that hat?''
"Whcrc were you born?'
'Sorry or glad that you were born?''
Don't you think it was waste of
materially
'"Think you'll make good soldier?''
"Married?"
slow many childrcn?"
'How much is twice two?'
"Why?'
''How far is it from here to some
where else and back if you run both
ways?"
care you white or colored?"
''Read and write?"
"Pa alive?'
'What for?''
"Grandma got any teeth?"
"11ow many?"
''Why didn't you count 'em?"
SIS she a flirt?"
,''Fraid of a niger mani the darl?"
Ever scalp a wooden indiana
"How many fingers on each hand?"
'llow many thumbs?''
both alike, amt they?''
ANY insane people in your family
except yourself?"
These and a hundred other entertain
ing questions were put to me. Although
l was all afre, could not help but
"a 81 : 4 ;;
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