The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1891-06-20
COURTED HIS WIFE.

he was reading, put his noseglasses
back in his pocket, took his hat and
started home.
I'll do 1t p he repeated to himself as
he walked along. I'll court my wife
as if she were girl again, the way the
fellow did in that newspaper story. l
expect it'll go pretty tough, he re.
Aected, throwing away his cigar and
wlping his mouth carefully as he ap-
preached his home. I've been a good
ideal of rhlnoceros about the house,
anG it's bad thing to break off old
habits all at once, but Pm going to
give it trial if it takes the hide off.
Mr.. Diltz entered the house, hung
his hat and overcoat in the hall instead
of throwing them down in a heap on
the sofa in his usual fashion. Then he
went on tlp-toe upstairs, put on his
best necktie, combed his hair carefully,
and came softly down the stairs again.
Mary Jane IL -cs!lsd VT Where
are you, dear1
Out here, answered voice in the
kitchen. Did you bring that package
OF chocolate l told you not to forget
when you went down town this morn
ing1
Why, no, said Mr.. Diltz, regretfully,
as he went into the kitchen, l forgot it,
dear.
Mrs. Diltz looked at him SUSPECT
ously. He hadn't called her "dear"
for about seven years.
"You forgot lt7 Humph l just ex-
pected it. What are YOU up to now1
This query, somewhat sharply utter
ed, was prompted by unexpected
forward movement on the part of Mr..
Diltz.
Don't you see I'm cleaning this
chicken2 she exclaimed. Look out
You'll make me cut myself. I'm wo,
ing at the glzzard. A man has
business poklng round in the kit
when he can't do any good.
Mr.. Diltz stepped back. +
intended to kiss his wife, but &C
to postpone the matter for a h
Mary Jane, he SAID, my de
What are you all slick
anyhow Going anywher
No, love. l expect
rest of the day at home
hour OF two earlier, TIL
wish you had broug..
late. That's what | wish.
Darling, SAID Mr.. Diltz, "I-that's
no way to 60 to work at a chicken
glzzard. Let me
May be you know more about this
kim of work than | do. May be |
haven't cleaned hundreds OF chickens
since I've been keeping house2 What
are you shopping around out here for,
anyhow, with your hair all plastered
down and that smirk on your faceP
My dearest Mary Jane, /,
Polhemus, broke in his wife, laying
down the portion of the fowls anatomy
she had been dissecting and looking
at fim keenly, 'whst on earth is the
object OF this palavering? What new
dodge are you trying to work now1
Whay, Mary Jane, I've made up my
mind to try to get along with you IN
diff
To get along with me? What do
you mean? Do you tell me to my
face I'm hard to get along withe
Not at all, Mary Jane; not at all
was only gong to say that we might
live together more comfortably, you
know, if-er-if we'd quit this quarrel
ing and be sociable, you know, as we
used to be. There's no need of US
acting like cats and dogs
OTIS blamed ! now, Mary Jane
don't give way to that temper of yours
Who started this fuss?
You did.
didn't. You did yourself.
| didn't!
You did
You know better.
Tell your wife she lies, do your
Wei, it isn't the first time. If you
have any business to attend to at your
Office there will be plenty time for you
TO go and do it before supper. I'll
get along. | don't need any help on
this chicken.
Diddledy dad swing the daggone
old hen shouted MIR. Diltz, beside
himself with rage. DadswizzIe its
everlasting gol dinged old carcass
He went out of the kitchen, slamm-
ing the door behind him, and in less
than quarter of minute he was on
his way back to his office, muttering
exctedly to himself, and crushing the
noffensive sidewalk hard beneath his
yiadictive heel as he strobe along.
Mr.. Diltz has not entirely given up
the idea Of counting his wife but he
has registered a cast iron VOW never to
undertake the Job again when she is