The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-19
BRIGHT BITS.
"Are you engaged to Jack Hall?"
"Yes. Are youy'-Life.

BRowN-Do you believe in signs?
FoGG-I did once but | haven't since saw
sign announcing that goods were selling at half
coSt.-BoSton Transcript
WHY could not the thermometer be listed at
the stock exchange? They would then have
something that has gone up this summer
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
ExAMINER-What do you understand by
Tempo di minuefto2
Examinee- Strict time; up to the minute.
Factl-London Musical Times.
GAYMAN-This is a great day with us at home.
My daughter comes out" tonight.
Dumley-Dopt say! So does my brother.
He's been in for seven years -Yonkers
Gazette. # ftEr
SOMEBODY is endeavoring to arouse alarm
over the fact that the white house is not pro-
perly provided with exits. Heretofore agitation
has been confined TO the possibility of ingress.-
Evening Wisconsin. e'+
WHERE are you going my pretty maid?"
I'm going to draw. KIND sir, she said
But you have no pencil or pad.' cried he.
yet I'll draw attention, tee -heeV' smiled she
t}N Chicago Globe.
ExAsPERArED FRUIT DEALER-These peaches
have an unhealthy look, have they? What's
the matter with 'em, sir?
Customer-The baskets you dress them in are
too Tightly laced, sir. Good day Chicago
Tribune.
AT THE CLuB-Grsat Scott, Punsley. lid you
hear that dull and sckening thud? What do
you think it was?"
Jaw, nothing. dear boy Just dropped mem
Der for non-payment of dues, l suppose y
WASHINGTON Post.
CRY EDIToR-The street is all excitement.
An electric light wire has blocked traffic and
no one knows whether it is a live wire or not.
Edltor-Detail two reporters to 90 to the wire
immediately-one to feel of 1t and the other to
write up the result.-Net0 York Weekly.
THEY were making lemonade and the pretti-
est girl of the party asked:
Where is Jack LIZ | want him to help us g"
why do you want hin:'' asked her friend
Because" was the artless answer, he such
a good squeezer !''--Detroit Free Press.
ToM-was the surprise party at your house
the other evening surprise TO you?
Jaek-Yes. rra.,
Tom-A genuine one;
Tom-How surprised the surprisers must
have been !-PUck.
TT WAS a great mistake exclaimed the ex-
congressman who has been studying social
form. for them not to put Il. T. p. down in
one corner of the Mckinley bill. "
What would that stand for?'
Why, for 'Respondy Tin Plate. of course"
Washington Star.
"A WOMAN can never keep anything to her
self. said Danboy to his wife, who had been
repeating something he didn't want known.
20, yes she can" said Mrs Danboy sweetly.
"rd like to know what it ISL he growled
TITS her real and private opinion of her hus-
band. Detroit Free Press
A RATHER shabby looking man applied to the
chief of the New York police for a position
Have you ever had any experience as a detec-
tive?"
"Oh, yes, was the reply. 81 once arrested
a man who did some killing"
so you arrested a man who committed a
homicidel"
Yes, he was sort Of murderer. He was
not homicide precisely, sHe was a suicide
He killed himself, you lnOw."-Teras SittingS.
ALTHOUGH she was German she spoke English
almost perfectly. but under emotion she natu-
rally fell into the use of her mother tongue
win you give me kiSs?" he pleaded, gently
bending over her
She raised a startled and indignant face to
his.
-''NenP' she exclaimed in wrathy negative.
Nine repeated he, stepping back aud gaz-
ing at her in mock surprise. Mine! I'd think
myself lucky if l could get oner'-Nee York
Press