The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-03
WALKING TO TEETER'S FIRE.

WALKING TO TEETERS FIRE.
We must, before going any further,
state that the trustees of the village Of
Bilsewater and three companies of the
fire ladies are not On good terms. The
trustees and these firemen dislike each
other very much indeed, and as Mr..
Teeter is trustee it is said that his loss
is much greater than it would have been
had his name even been Dennis instead
of Cicero. The fire companies are all
composed Of volunteers, and as they pay
dues and fines and put out fires at their
own expense they feel rather independ-
ent about where they will show the
most zeal.
The trustees have an appropriation
which hey handle each year according
to the dictates of their own consciences,
which is supposed to go to the fire de-
partment, but this year they do not
hand it over without the duly receipted
bills of the department to show that the
money has not been nisappropriated.
This makes the fire addies hot, for they
own their machines and board them
selves. A fire leddie hates to have his
whisksrs singed off and his nose frozen
so stiff that in blowing it the whole for
ward part Of the nose may crack and
fall OFF, but still verse he hates on top
of all TINS to have his motives impugned.
The fire laddie suffers, but he never
weeps. He says to the trustees of the
village of Rlgewater: eve, especially
members of Unparalleled Squirt No. l.,
have put up with about all we care to
stand, and so we shall soon offer our
nice red trucks and blue ladders for sale.
If you are afraid that we will fool away
your appropriation on axle grease for
our engine or rat poison for our engine
house, and you dare not trust us out of
sight, we will pause before we rescue
your abnornaily plain hired girl from
the blazing rafters of your burning
buildings. You have asked us for our
ultimatum, and we inclose one herewith
which we have never used. 1t is nice,
bright, new ultimatum, with snapper
on the end of it. Use it carefully and it
will last you a long time"
Then the trustees appealed to the pa
triotism of the fire laddies, saying: Sure
ly you will not go and sell your bright
red trucks and things to comparative
stranger, and then on the Fourth of July
have no machine TO haul around past the
Dutch pond and along the Fingerbowl
road. Come, now, boys, don't act that
wayp
With this state of affairs, which has
been unchanged for several weeks, it is
not strange that when the shrill cry of
fire burst forth from the massive throat
of Mr.. Teeter, at 1:47 on the above
night, several volunteer firemen coyly
looked out at window and then went
back TO bed again.
"Helpi help!i will no one save meg
cried the naughty Official as he stepped
on cold, toy rubber ball with his bare
foot, and shrieked again till the alright
ed night caught up the refrain, and two
men who were passing by on their way
to catch boat almost stopped to see
what the matter was.
By this time the forked flames began
to lick their chops and reach out fol
combustible material. The fire fien6
soon discovered, for it was but the work
of moment, that the building was fire
proof, SO there would be nothing to pre-
vent not only cutting it but actually
wiping it from the face of the earth.
Sending the hired man (after tipping
him) to the nearest drug store to tele.
phone the fire department, Mr.. TeeteI
began to twist the tail of the FIRE fiend
alone, meantime only pausing long
enough to shrek or take sip of mince
pie favoring which stood on the escri-
TORE.
Just then some neighbors came by on
their way home from the city where
they had held a theatre party CONVEX
sazziony. The ladies were in full dress.
and the full orbed moon came out. took
a good square look at them and hastily
retired behind large, cool cloud. The
gents wore, also, each bran pneumonia
suit of full dress, and all remained sew
eral moments watching the fire.
WHO lives hereY asked one gent who
had taught himself not to show any
emotion.
Il think Teeter lives here" said one
of the party, hut ! do not know them.
We have never called on them, for we
cannot really find out whether they came
here first or We"
''Oh, well, then, il you are not &C
suainted, let us not fool away any more
time here. Come, Waterloo!"
"Waterlooloo, you mean said a
bright young lobster dealer who hap
pened to be passing by at the time, and
who Is known as the wag and raccoonter
of Toad Hill.
BY this time the hired man had re-
turned and said that the telephone was