The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-09-06
THE S~HADOWGRAPHER.

THE ~SHADOWGRAPHER.
When a mans broke and nuthin' to do,
Can you blame him if he feels blue
An cusses the world with it's women and
men @
While his little family is sufferin', when
The worlds good gifts to him are few?
''There amt no excuse for this" says you,
For you're one of them folks that says
''adieu''
Whom a mans broke.
When money is gone an bills come due
An sheriffs an landlord come along too,
Why want to ask of you, my friend,
II a man amt a right to kick now an then,
When a mans broke.
w
China Tom dropped into THE INDEpEN-
DENT Office the other day just as the new
synchronized clock struck a bell like tone.
The Celestial stopped for a moment and
gazed at the time piece and then walked
around to one side where he could see the
wires. Finally he spelled out the words on
the clock, and after another general exam
OPClOu ~ III ~
'Hab new clock, eh?"
YES"
"Glittee high tone. Old time glood
enough for C~hinaman."
"Yes, %anything's good enough for a China
man. sad the man behind the desk, with
r wink to the boys.
"Chiuaman no glittee hich tone like white
man. No sabe new clock
"Well that is like all other clocks except
that it's synchronized," explained the
cashier.
mo sabe slyneolize."
mo, a Chinaman like you don't sabe
anything"
"Me sabe ali same white man. Me no
sabe stlings behind clock. What for?'
"Well, every ten minutes a man in New
York telephones the time along that wire.'
you high tone. You hab New Lok time.
Helena time good for Chinaman. Where
Dave Marks? What for bell ring in clock?"
Chat bell rings every time that China
Tom takes a drink
How hell New Lok man sabe me glittee
dlink?"
This question rather puzzled the man be-
hind the desk, but finally he replied: 'Ey-
cry time that China Tom takes a drink the
price of whisky goes up in New York"
"Glo way. China Tom, him sabe when
he enough dlinks. You habe no washee?
You len china Tom two bittee next week?
No, you buy dlinks. You no good. Go cd
day."
~
There wes a funny incident to those who
happened around the animal tent OF Fore
paugh's show, when the lecturer was
making his rounds. He had reached the
hlppopotamus when the crowd moved over
IN front of that animals tank. Among the
spectators was a young man from the COW
counties, accompanied by a boy perhaps ~
year old. Both wore flannel shirts, buck
skin trousers, broad brimmed white
hats and big red handkerchiefs
about their necks. They had ridden
horseback from northern Montana two DAYS
ahead of time. They were seen during the
day following the procession, making fun
of the Forepaugh cowboys and 'lowin' that
they would like to have them up on the
ranch awhile. Finally the big tents we're
they went in to inspect animals
that were wholly unknown to them. The
Shadowgrapher followed them about and
enjoyed their comments on the nature and
appearance Of the diffe ent beasts of the
forests. They were exceedingly skeptical
about everything. The white bear was put
down rs a black bear with his hair bleached.
the leopards we're only wild cats with their
skins painted, the zebra was a striped cav
use horse, etc. Only the elephants really
excited their wonder, and then the Younger
boy reminded the elder that they had dug
up some bones of these animals near the
Milk river. They followed the crowd until
the hippopotamus was reached and here
they forced people out of the way until
got to the front.
81 never seen nothin' like that before,'
acknowledged one of the bows.
Nor neither, but | wouldn't be afraid
TO tackle him." said The other.
Here the lecturer cleared his throat and
his subterranean voice: "Ah,
and gentleman" he said, I'VE have
arrived to the marvel of this stupendous
of beasts, the hip %potomasus tor
as he is classified by natural
lists, or the terrible river horse of the river
Nile, captured by
well, if he is u horse be ID a new one on
We uns," interrupted one of the boys.
Never mind, young man, ! am doing the
occurring. AS the divine poet says, 'IIora-
Ito, there are many things 'twixt heaven
and earth not contained within our COM
prehension.' But this, ladies and gentle