davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
The Monkey and the Cigar.

A correspondent of the London Daily Tele-
graph relates the following incident Some
years ago was bringing two monkeys home
from the West Indies which 1 had named
Jack" and Jill" Jack was brown monkey
about the size of fox terrier, while Jill was
smaller, and of the sort known as white
faced" One day Jack was induging his curl
osity by diving into my pockets, and. among
other things fshed out cigar. He smeled it,
and before could stop him bounded off TO his
cage with his prize. Jill rushed after him to
see what he had got, and he considerably al
lowed her to smell and no more. Then he tore
it up and began to chew il, and presently
worked himself up into ecstasy of delight,
taking the haf-chewed cigar from his mouth
and swearing it over his face and body with
maudlin satisfaction. Jill sat the while at the
other end of the cage regarding her lord and
master with wondering interest. but afraid to
disturb his reveis. though she once or twice
crept cautiously up to obtain a nearer view of
the cause of all this excitement, and to make a
sly attempt to get hold of it. Jacks excite
ment began to get too much for him, and he
rolled aDoGt his straw and twisted himself into
all sorts of contortions in uncomfortable de-
liehr, and at last fell down in a helpless state
OF intoxication. ThereupOn Jill carefully COW
cred him well over with straw and mounted
guard over him, energetically resisting any at
tempt on my part to see how he Jared, She re-
mained steadily at her post until he awoke and
emerged from his covering, looking very, very
seedy sick and sorrowful.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
OBSTRUCTIN NG THE ROAD LAWS.

Those Democrats who think they are cur.
rying favor with the farmers by opposing
the road law will find that, both as indi-
viduals and party men, they are making a
serious mistake. Why it should be con.
ceived a fit policy for any party to oppose
improvement where improvement is so
urgently needed is beyond comprehension.
There is nothing smart, nothing reasona BILE
and nothing in any way commendable in re-
fusing to cooperate with the Republicans
in at least an effort in making the country
roads passaDle. This is not a party question
at all. Nothing less than dense stupidity
should seek to make it one.
We trust that the best intelligence will
prevail at Harrisburg upon this road mat
Ter, and that the old fogies will not be per-
mitted to block legislation. The Senators
ard Representatives who may make them
selves conspicuous by pressing tor good
roads will commend themselves to the con-
sideration and hearty supp ort of the best
opinion of the State. On the other hand.
those who are unwilling to help and dis
posed TO hinder will equally be remembered,
but with very different feeling.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
OUR CAPTIVE INDIAN CHIEFS.

There are two little news items from Chi
cago published this morning which may
have an important relation to each other
In one item an educated Indian is quoted as
believing another uprising of his people
to be probable, and the other tells of Secre-
ing the ghost dancers. now imprisoned at
Fort Sheridan, out of the country for show
purposes. In the educated Indians re-
marks, the reason given for the probability
of an uprising is the Imprisonment. of the
chiefs at Fort Sheridan. coupled by the fear
that they will be put to death. By the item
referring to Buffalo Bill this fear is proven
to be groundless, but the poor savages,
when they hear that th:ir chiefs are going
to be sent across the ocean to learn the bad
habits of modern Europe, may think that
they have even better reasons for going to
war than they would have had with their
chiefs merely killed.
There is something else peculiar about
one of the items. 1t seems that not SO very
long ago the powers that be declared that no
more Indians should be taken out of the
country for the purpose of exhibition. The
innocent savages were said to be very easily
dem moralized, and their interests required
them to be kept at home. Somebody else's
interests now seem to require their presence
abroad, Generalization or no demoraliza-
ton. Who is this somebody else?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14

race for the White House long before the
contest actually begins. They are the
would-be Warwieks OF republic. lacking
only nerve and ability. Their industry is
their sole commendable trait, and it might
be employed in more useful channels.
Almost every man of the least note in
public life has suffered from mistaken kind
ness Of this sort. Some of the mistakes OF
the Warwieks, however, have given rise
to suspicion that certain possibilities are
constructed with malice afo-ethought- The
possibility" manufactured for Governor
Pattison is an example of the latter, as was
shown in The DISPATCH some time ago.
The latest victim is Senator-elect Palmer,
OF Illinois, who has not yet had
time to get accustomed to his new title.
This does not deter the political prognosti-
Gators. Under the assumption that the next
Democratic Presidential nominee must come
from the West, they are now Iaboring to
prove that Palmer is the very man for whom
the Democracy has been looking. They
confidently claim that Victory will be SO
pleased by his selection that she will gladly
perch for four years upon banners en-
blazoned with his name. All this is pre-
mature. The time for weighing and meas
uring candidates may have arrived, and in
telligent discussion of individual chances
may be in order, but "possi bilities" at this
season are liable to find the mselves in the
position of the chick that left its she'll too
soon
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
Strange Snake Story.

Early in January of the present year. accord
ing to the st. Louis Republic, woodman
engaged in chopping some of the monster oaks
in the northern part of the great "Black
Forest" Germany. and who had built fire
against large dead log preparatory to partak-
ing of his midday meal, was surprised to see a
serpent of gigantic proportions crawl from the
log as soon as tie rotten wood had got well
warmed through. The day was bitter cold and
the snake only made few yards over tho
frozen ground until his convolutions became
smaller and smaller. until he finally ceased to
wriggle and quietly coiled up near large pile
of brush. The sturdy German chopper, who
had been more surprised than scared waited
until the creature had become thoroughly
benumbed with the cold and then approached
and dispatched him with the ak. Measure
ments showed the Shiny creature to be q feet
inches in length and nearly l5 inches through
the body in the middle.
But the most curious part OF the story Is yet
to be told: Just back of the immense head,
which was IL inches in length and almost as
broad, a little gold ring had been put through
the skin. 1t was in the form of two rings
figure 8. One part of the ring was through the
skin while the other was through hole In a
small copper coin bearing date of 1Il2. One
side of the coin was perfectly smooth, with the
exception of these letters and figures which
had evidently been cut ON it with pocket
knife, the workmanship being very rough:
Louis Krutzer, b. G. O.. l7Sl-" Some of the
older Inhabitants of the BLACK Forest' re-
member of hearing their parents tell of
'Krutzer, the serpent charmer," and they all
unite IN declaring that this gigantic serpent
was formerly the property of the old
"cbarmer," and that it was at least lis years
old when killed by the woodchopper on that
cold January day of 1891.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
FAMEs FAMILIARS.

The Pope has telegraphed his blessing te
Dr. Windthorst.
CONGRESSMAN JOE CANNON wound ur
his career by saying that he was an applicant
for nothing except the grace OF God.
QUEEN VICToRIA's granddaughter, who
| is the wife of the Grand Duke Sergius. of Rus
STA, is about to be converted to the Greek
| Catholic faith.
SIR JOHN A. MACDONALD thinks that
the title Americans should be reserved for
Canadians. He calls the people of the United
States Yankees
EX-SENATOR INGALLS, is visiting his
aged parents in West Roxbury, Mass. He de-
nies the rumor that he is about to re-enter
journalism in New York.
HERR GUSTAV FREYTAG, the we'll
known German author, who is now about 75
years of age. was married at Vienna TuesdaJ-
last to Nine. StrakoScl. who is separated from
her other husband.
Miss MARIE DE BARRIE, niece of ex-
Peruvian Minister Berrada, is one of the hand
soonest women in New York. She is delicate
type of the purest Spanish womanhood, is re-
fined, dresses well and is very wealthy.
Mrs. ELEANOR BAKERS large bequests
to educational and benevolent Institutions
amounting to 81. O00, 600. represent money made
in chocolate. She was the wife of Walter
Baker, who made large fortune in the choco-
late trade.
THE late Jonathan Scoville had intended
to leave a large bequest to the Academy of Fine
Arts in Buffalo, but it was revoked in a codicil
to his will written after no acknowledgment had
been made of the receipt of some statuary he
had sent to the academy.
NINE. BERNHARDT is said to be OF Hol-
lander-Jewish origin. and to have been born in
Amsterdam about 46 years ago. Less is known
to the public of the antecedents of this brilliant
French actress than of almost any other artist
who has gained like celebrity.
THOMAS BALL, the sculptor, is busy with
a colossal Washington in bronze, which Mrs.
Hopkins-Searlc is about to give TO the town of
Metheren. The base of the statue will contain
busts of the great Revolutionary Generals. and
at each corner will be figures emblematical of
Oppression, Revolution, Victory and Paece.
EX-PosTMAsTER GENERAL FRANK
HATToN, of the Washington Post, is at the
Fifth Avenue Hotel New York. He has re-
covered considerably from his severe attack of
rheumatism, but still has twinges in his wrists
and ankles He hangs to his criticism of the
Civil Service Commissioners as to hobby and
openly declares that he will have either tho
scalp of Commissioner Lyman or of President
Harrison.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
Making an English knight.

The ceremony of comforting the order OF
knighthood at the hands of the Queen is not
imposing. 1t is not. in fact, public ceremo-
nial, and only those are permitted to witness 1t
who, by their official connection with the
Queens household. may attend her, says a
writer in London Ttd- Bits. The loyal subject
upon whom such distinguished honor may be
conferred may not even invite his chest man"
nor the members of his personal circle of rela-
tIyes or friends to be present.
Arrayed in whatever uniform he may be en-
titled to wear. whatever dress court etiquct, @
and the time of day make proper. if he lie 4
civilian tho subject presents himself before his
sovereign and kneels ar her royal feet. Seated
on the throne chair, the Queen lays the shining
blade of a sword across the shoulder of the
kneeling but exalted beneficiary, and says
using the title which she is about TO give,
arise, Sir so-and-so."
Plain Mr.. Cheltenham Brown is thus, by a
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
FOR THE FUN OF THE THING.

Gentleman-There is some mistake in this
gas bill.
Gas CoIector-No. sir; the bill is all right. II
Is according to the meter.
GentIeman-It's very strange; Icertainly burned
more gas than that last month.
Gas Collector-Wh-what' that, sir!
Gentleman (emphaticalIy)-I say 1 certainly
burned more gas than that last month
Gas Collector turning pale and edZinR toward
the door)-Yery well. sir. very well. Don't get
excited, sir; keep quiet calm yourself. Every
thing Will be made all right, assure you. sir.
The collector then bounced down the stairs and
shouted for help. Four policemen responded,
and moving cautiously up the stairs they secured
the maniac and got him safeiy 70 lunalic asylum
But little hopes are entertainer VI HIS lecoFery.-
Chicago Nel1S.
"To-dav's papa's wooden wedding" said
little Willis"
'sDid he celebrate?''
..Ycs-on me, with a shingle. It vasn't very
much fun. .''-Nero York Herald
BIaukins had been out very late the night
nreyious. and there wasn't much needed TO con-
Arm his wife's suspicious after she found two
,oker chfps on the floor near where he had thrown
r. oyercoat on chair. she was looking over her
housekeeping account, and was having trouble
with the arithmetic.
.srhere are three tens in 80 aren't there, John?"
she inquired
..What is it?'' he queried sleepily.
,'rhirty IN three tens"
''Three tens?''
''Yes: l said three tens"
..Au right, " he answered with drowsy placid
ness. 'Three tens Is good-'
And the gentle snore sealed his self-conviction.
-BdShin 0tOE Post.
Anopen-faced watch-the Yawning police
man.-Drdks's Magazine.
The livery OF heaven-uniform goodness.
PUCK.
CUPID'S SCORE.
Whom Cupid hits with feathered dart
He quick repavs with kisses,
And, clever marksman though he Is,
One-half his shots are Misses.
-BrooktyH La
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
PRESIDENTIAL POSSIBILITIES.

The rapidly with which a man can be-
come presidential possibility" is really
amusing. theoretically, every native
American has chance Of occupying the
Chief magistrates chair at Washington;
practically, he has not. The majority of
citizens recognize the difference between
theory and practice in this matter, and,
politically, concern themselves chiefly with
supporting the regular nominees of the two
great parties. But there are some who also
recognize the difference noted, yet take an
other course. These latter are the makers of
Presidential possibilities" They know
they cannot become Presidents themselves.
but imagine they are the possessors of gift
enabling them to pick out the winner in the
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
Points on Pepper.

Pepper in its natural state. says the Popular
Sctence NeUs, that is in the kernel. is the fruit
OF plant Of creeping or climbing habit and Of
branching growth. 1t attaIns height of some
~ feet. Its leaves are shortstemmed, uniform
and pointed. On the immense East Indian pep
per plantations the young cuttings are set out
in long rows and trained on poles In this par
t1cular IL bears a striking resemblance to hop
field. The plant bears fruit in its first year, but
not to any great extent. 1t is most prolific from
It's fourth to its twentieth year, during which
period the annual yield of a single plant is
from to II pounds, on the average. The har-
vest season commences as soon as the uniform
little green berries begin to turn red. They are
then plucked and spread out on great platters
TO dry in the suns warm rays, or by means of
SLOW hre. This treatment causes the outer she'll
to shrlvel and turn black. White pepper is
gathered from the same plant as the black pep
per, the distinction being that the former is
ground from ripe berries, from which the outer
black shell has first been removed. Because of
this thorough maturity of the berry and the
absence of the outer shell, it is much mIlder
than the black.
The strongest species of black pepper is
known as the Piper eficinarum." Its fruit,
the berry, Is long, having reddish-gray ex-
terror and a very dark interior. Another, not
belonging to the pepper family proper, but
coming under the Magistrates (Solaneen), is
the Spanish pepper (Capsicus longum) whose
cleaning red fruit is too familiar TO require de-
tailed mention.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
Social Chatter

AT last evenings session of the Teachers In
stitute. held in the Butler Street NJ. e, Church
a lecture on Coup d'Etat in Brazir' was deliv-
cred by Delos Fall.
FRANZ RUMMEL. the great pianist, will give
two piano recltals at Old City Hall next week,
the first Monday evening, the second Wednes-
day afternoon.
PROF. NJ. L. D'OoGE will lecture on
''Greece" in the Pittsburg Club Theater on the
evenings Of Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday
of next week.
The lecture by Prot. Eliot of Harvard Uni
versity, win be quite feature this evening. 1t
will be followed by a reception.
MISS NELLIE NICHOLS will talk on "Class
Drill and Physical Culture" at the Teachers
Institute, this morning.
MISS AGNES DICKSON gave dinner last
evening to young friends.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
MRS. WILCES NEW SCALP.
The Third Grating Operation Successfully
Performed.

The Third Grating Operation Successfully
Performed.
NEW YORK, March l3-Three successful
skin-grafting operations upon one patient have
recently been performed at Bellevue Hospital.
The patient is Mrs. Minnie Wick. "a years old,
whose entire scalp was torn off in her husbands $
laundry on December 26 last. The accident Was
caused by Mrs. Wilck's hair being caught in the
leather betting which revolves around a pulley
worked by steam.
An ambulance from Bellevue Hospital took
the woman away before her hair. which had
become entangled i'll the machinery could be
released, but later her husband appeared
with the scalp which was put back on her head
ard has now grown thereto. The skin on her
neck and face was also torn, and to save her
from Disagreement the. physicians determined
to graft new skin.
When Della Eagan, a 17-year-old girl with
plenty of pluck. learned of Mrs. Wilck's plight,
She volunteered her services because Mrs
Wick once nursed her through a long illness.
Three operations were performed the last one
being consummated on Wednesday with entire
success. Miss Eagan has red hair and blue
eyes, and said that it didn't hurt because they
gave her something to smell which put her TO
sleep. She was formerly employed in Wnck's
laundry and said that her action was entirely
voluntary,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14

perceive that reforms restricting the opera
tions of the electoral market would be to
their disadvantage, and might eventually
reach the stage of selling their votes and de-
Iivering the goods from the same motive Of
self-interest.
This feature of Canadian politics is calcu-
lated to exercise a restraining influence on
the rumored appetite of this nation for an
nexation. A country in which the reform
ers propose that votes shall be sold and the
purchasers cheated would furnish an al
together unnecessary element in the politics
of our own dear land.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14

The important question whether Judge
can be permitted to spend his extra judicial
hours in bucking the tiger was recently passed
upon by the Washington Legislature in a vote
upon the impeachment of Judge for that Of
fee. The result of the vote was a narrow es-
cape for the royal game of faro. the vote hay
ing been sufficient to place the hazardous game
under the ban in one branch but was tie in
the other. The inference is that Washington
judges may continue TO copper the ace, in
private; but the narrow escape of the hunter of
the tiger conveys the warning that judicial
amusements of that sort shoald be strictly sub
jlsdice, so to speak.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Mrs. Mary Z. Chapman.

The funeral of Mrs. Mary E. Chapman,
wife of James A. Bradley, will take place this
afternoon from her late residence in Bellevue.
Mrs. Bradley was born February -, 1886 near
New Cumberland, Hancock county, W. Va, and
was the daughter of the late &. W. Chapman and
a member OF one of The Oldest and most prominent t
families in the county. She was a cousin of the
late W. Z. Ralston, formerly banker of San
Francisco. .as also of A. j. Ralston. of the same
place. and a sister, Mrs. G. A. Pendetou. of
Rochester, Pa. survives her. Mrs. Bradley was
a woman OF strong character brave, prudent.
pure, wise, tried by experience and sorrow, and
whose influence was always exercised for good.
All this especially illustrated during the last
year in the patient nobleness and calm courage
with which she bore her sufferings. as also
the grief which came to her. to all her family,
in the loss OF loved son, Springer Bradley.
called away but six months ago in the very flush
of his youth and promise of his young manhood.
The pall-bearers will be Judge Campbell and
Messrs. Barker, Cope, Cole and Dawson.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14

WHILE there is considerable dissent to
the principle of forbidding legislators to accept
free dinners, analogy presents a clear settle
ment Of the question. Some years ago when
the free pass issue was prominent it was argued
that the way to settle it was for the State to
provide all legislators with free passes by law.
On the same principle the State should provide
all legislators who want free dinners with free
board, lodging and clothing in State institl.
tion for term of years.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
THE SOUTH SEA cANNIeALS

THE SOUTH SEA CANNIBALS
Are Graphically Described
BY RCBsRT LOUIS STEVENSON,
Who Resumes His Letters in
TOMORROW MAMMOTH DISPATCH.
The REBELLION IN CHILE
Will Be Explained by Correspondent
WHO WHITES ON The SPOT.
A Unique Feature for Tomorrow is
BABY mcKEE'S HOROSCOPE.
To-Morrcw's Issue Will Be Found Full Of
Interest TO All Who
KEEP PACE WITH The NEWS.
People Who Have Money to Invest Should
Scan Its Columns.
Bargain Hunters Will Find in II Valuable
Offerings.
Clerks, Artisans, Workers, Male and Female,
Will Profit by Il.
House Hunters and Home Buyers Should
Not Miss H.
u Leads in Advertising as Well as News and
Literature.
GET A COPY TOMORROW.
Have II Left at Your Home by Newspaper
or Mail Carrier
1T CAN BE HAD EVERYWHERE.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14

single srroke of Her Majesty's sword. trans
formed into sir knight, and he is permitted,
perchance. to kiss his sovereign's finger tips in
grateful acknowledgment of the distinguished
honor. In other cases than this of a plain
knighthood, and when the title carries with it a
decoration, the gracious Queen, with her own
royal hands, pins the glittering and much-coy-
eted bauble upon the coat of her elevated sub
ject This is all the ceremony connected with
the conferr1ng OF knighthood, but 1t is great
deal to the recipient
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
CONCERNING that spree in connection

CONCERNING that spree in connection
with Senator Hearst's funeral, contemporary
declares: THE funeral of a dead Senator is
hardly the occasion for iunket OF fellow men,
bers" If the practical politicians are frank
they will reply to this with the inquiry: What
else is the funeral Of dead Senator good for?
Senator Hearst's public career may not have
been very striking; but the spree at his funeral
on one side of the continent and the brisk hid
ding for the purchase or his seat on the other
make the termination of his public life ex.
tremely instructive.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
Maryland Metaphor.

Baltimore American.
The monarchcal old DANES of Europe are
cackling in an alarmed chorus, berating gay
Brother Jonathan at a great rate, and warning
their pretty young colonial daughters against
the awful evils of flirting in an xation sort
of way. But these are degenerate days, and
frisky maidens do not take as kindly to the
restraints of the maternal apron strings as they
once did, preferring to do their conjugation
thinking for themselves.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-14
REV0LVERS IN WAIST BELTS.

The United Express Company's New Order
to Its Messengers.
PHILADELPHIA, March i3-All the messen-
gers of the United States Express Company
have received orders from the general super-
iutendent to wear belts with holster for their
reyolyers The belt is to be worn on the ont
side of all clothing when on the way from one
Office to another.
The messengers do not mind wearing the
belt while in their cars. but object to it on the
street, as it would make them unpleasantly
conspicuous and might invite attack The
object is for them to have their weapon handy
in case of sudden emergency. but the men
think it is quite as handy in their pockets.