The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-09-23
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

should 20, and keep a little ahead Of
him during the training.
IL il stated upon good authority that
Il teacher with glass eyc has at least
one unmanageablc pupil.
The poor we have always with MS I;
aud rs every newspaper reader knows
this is peculiarly true OF jokes.
After Ills First Spanking: "Dcar
me-" walled the little Boston boy, "had
| suspected that the resultant sensation
was SO poignant, | had not invited the
experiment"
Professor Ito class in physics s)-Now
describe this electrical machine, if YOU
please. Head BOy-It consists of n
large glass wheel turned by crank.
applause from the class.)
Chicago Politician-Did the dele
gates 90 10 the convention uninstruct-
ell Z Boston Fricnd-Uninstrnctcd?
! should Say So. They were the most
ignorant persons ever met.
Recognizing the Relationship: Cal
whistle Father Ito Mollic, who was at
the theatre tho night before)-Good
morning, daughter of Satan. Mollie
(dutiIully)-Good morning, father.
Brown GmpressivcIy) y)-IIere's some
whiskcy, old fellow. that has been in
the house fifteen years. Friend (tast-
ing il with wry facc)-What's the
matter, Brown; can't YOU give il awayI
Rev. Mr.. Poundtext ITO his seven
year-old daughter)-Ncllie, can you
tell me what my text was this MORN
ing? Nellie (proudly)-Ycs, sir: "lIc
that tunb.cth himself shall be cx-
hausled."
In describing that lively charmor
the venerable Lady Tippins, Dickens
hits of her scragginess capitally in his
aIlusion 10 "a certain yellow play about
her throat, like the legs Of scratching
poultry"
Too Fresh: 4 Boston dude visit
ing country hcaIth-rcsort complain.
ed Of the eggs. "They seenI." said he,
lacking in flayvaw. Compared with
our Bosiing eggs they are rather in
slpid, don't ye know"
Ambitious Mothcr-Edith, Mr.. Gold
bug seemed very attentive to YOU last
night. hope YOU treated him nicely.
Ingenious Dcbutantc--Inderd | did.
mamma. Mr.. GoIdbug knows he may
have me for the asking.
What lie Wanted: IIeircss-Ycu
do me great honor 10 ask my hand in
marriage: but am very sorry-
Connir. Editor (rising from his knees
with bitter smileJ-Say no more.
Miss Bullion: its money want, not
sympathy.
FOur-yrar-nld Mabel asked hor broth
cr Ia button her apron-whch is in
gcniously cuntriycd 10 fastcn behind.
for suInc unknown feminine rcason-
NJ the same time thoughtfully remark
ing: If could get behind myself, !
could DO IT,"
4 Fair Proposition: Father Ito
prospective son-in-lawEYuung man.
will you be able TO take care of my
daughter in the style to which she has
been accustomed = Young Man lear
ncsily)-I guarantee TO do il, sir, or
return the girl.
A Chicago burglar read IN news
paper that nc had overlooked $50 in
4 bureau on his visit to Mr. Blanks
house the night before. The next
night lie returned aud secured ii.
Here we have proof of the value of
the press rs a disscminator of useful
information. Now is the time to sub
scribe.
While we arc coldly discussing n
mans career, sneering at his mistakes,
blaming his rasllness, and labelling his
opinioms-"evangelical and narrow"
or "laiitudinarian and panthcistic," or
"Anglican and supcrcilious"--that man.
in his solitude, is perhaps shedding
hot tears because his sacrifice is Il hard
one, because strength and patience are
failing him to speak the difficult word,
and do the difficult decd.-GeO. Eliot.
We exaggeratc the praises OF local
down over the brownesi, h0melicst
common, with all the spiritual magnii-
icence which they shed OH the Cam
pagna, or ON the marble deserts OF
Egypt. The uprollcd clouds aud the
colors of morning and evening will
transfgurc naples and al,lcrs. Ma
ture can not be surprised in undrcss.
Beauty breaks in cverywhcre.-En-
ersOn.
An English schoolboy was suddenly
and sternly asked by an examiner:
@Who sigued Magma Charta Z"
Though conscious that he personally
was guiltless, he trcmbled at being
suspected of anything which could be
spoken of in such tone, and at once
rcnounccd the act with alarm and i'm
dignation: "Pleasc sir. 'twant me-"
adding TO make sure of safety, "and it
it was, I'll never do il again." "Why,
you blockhead," laughed the master,
nobody said there was any harm in
il. On the contrary il was glorious
thing for England" IIereupOn a dir
ty-faced little boy in the class, seeing
his opportunity, pipcd out, "Please,
sir, it was me. Idonc it myself, sir"
Wonders of Progress: Returned
Prodigal lin Vcrmont-Everything is
so changed that can't find my way.
Can you direct me 10 Mud Pond or
Skecter Swamp? From either point
I eau soon strike the road TO the old