The record-union., 1891-04-20
MoUNTAINEBR PHILOSOPHY.
Curious People Met With in the Cum
berIand Mountains.

osopher. He had been going to school,
and was able TO read and figure u little.
He boasted of this before we started, and
soon after we were under way he said:
Bin readin' bout Christopher Column
bus in de sllule books.'
You have, Ell? What did you find out
about him?p
He diskivered America, sah."
"Yes''
''Dat wasn't so mighty smart, though.
He couldn't dun help it, you see. lie
had cum'd to de shore, an America was
right dar, an all he had to do was to look
at de land an de trees an diskiver them.
Dat doan' begin wild loolSin' at two holler
trees an tellin' which one de coon went
up when de daWgS hustled him."
''Have you read OF Washington?'
'Gawge Washington! Yes, sab. He'un
fit in de Revolutionary wah.'
Great man."
Had to be, sab. He was de Fadder of
his Kentry. He'un had to be powerful
peart, or de folks would hey put him out
Just like de kase Of 'Squar Henshaw
down at de mills. If he'un hadn't known
jist what TO do when Sam Fenloe war
! tried fur Stealin' Tom Walkers mewl
! him would hev bin bounced
"W hat did he do?''
''Said dat Sam stole it, suah 'nuff Had
! body else had bin rested. Arter Sam had
! bin in Jail six weeks de mewl was found
dead in de bresh,''
(Which is the largest ocean,"
''I shan't dun tell.''
But why?"
'Kase | hasn't measured an doan' want
I to lie bout it. If / lied bout de ocean
you'd say 1 lied bout de trail, an you
wouldn't pay me an I'd hev dis tramp
/ fur muffin"
''lf there were six birds on one tree and
! four on another, how many would there
| be in all?'
Trees clus together?"
Same kind o. birds?"
! 'N eS."
Nobody 'roun' wild a gun?"
'Yes."
Den you couldn't make it out dat way,
no how. Jist as suah as you lib all dem
! birds would be on one tree. Reckon you
doan know much bout desc yere parts"
| had been told that there were moon
| sinners in the Cumberland, and that the
| chances were | would be stopped and
sharply investigated. When ready to
part from the youth l asked:
DO you think I'll meet any MOON
sinners to-day?"
dat depends, sah.''
"On what?''
ION whedder somebody hidin' behind
de bresh or rocks doan' pop you ober
hefo' you kin meet. If hens gun hangs
tiah yo'un will probably meet.'
1t was hot day in July, with clear
sky, but L asked him ii he thought the
weather would hold, and he looked at the
sky and replied:
"Doan' want to say, sab. If it should
! hold you'un wouldn't give me no credit,
an if ii should snow you'un would cuss
me all day. Good day, sab. Keep to de
right arter you cross de branch. If dat
doan' bring you out den cum back an
keep TO de left"
L had gone about a mile when the trail
| branched, and, after debating the case, I
took the right hand again and went for
| ward with the comfortable feeling that
had half Of big State at my personal dis
pOSal to get lost in. The path suddenly
ended, and about that time q mountaineer
stepped from a thicket on my left and
confronted me and inquired:
"Whar' from, stranger?''
! l told him.
What you'n doin' hyar?n
| ''Traveling."
er; ''you's kin either prove up or ye
can't.''
That's so.'
"You's either all right or you's cum
| fussin',"
"WeIl?n
Kin XII We prove up?"
"Then walk along"
lie walked beside me- or behind me,
| through thickets and over rough ground
| to shanty just at the mouth of ravine
! There was man, a woman and a boy of
II there, and my nose detected the Odor
of still. The three people mentioned
stood at the door as we came up, and the
man queried OF my conductor:
who's he'un?"
"GWlne ter prove up"
sat down on rock, and, leaving the
boy to watch me, the other three with
drew a few yards and held a consulta-
| ton. This lasted about five minutes, and, d.,
when they returned, the man who had
captured me said:
! "We'uns is agreed on it. You's either
revenue or not. You's kin prove up or
/ ye can't"
Can any of you read?" 1 asked
1--WE kin or we can't" replied the wo-
man, who was smoking plug tobacco in a
clay pipe.
well, perhaps you've heard of - at
| Monroe?''
I'VE mought or we moughtn," re-
piled the husband of the woman.
We'll, here's line from him. If YOU
are moOnShiners you have sold him whis-
! ky, and know him to be all right Here's
my card; here are letters addressed to me
at Monroe, and you can overhaul my
/ knapsack."
They couldn't read line of writing,
and put up job to catch me. After CON
! sulting together bit the woman said:
"What did you say he'uns first name
was-George or William?''
Neither one; it's Henry"
And does he'un live in a single or
| double log house?'
''in frame house."
(which eye is he'un blind in?u
Neither one. Come, now, he's big,
! fteshy man, wears long whiskers, is bald
/ on top of his head, and has front tooth
/ out. His wife is a little croSs-eyed wo-
man, and he has two children"
! That settled it, and / was at once given
bite to eat and told to make myself at
! home. | had some tobacco for the man
| and pins ana needles for the woman, and
the present of harmonicon set the boy
| wild with delight.
'"SpoSin yOu'n had shot he'un down
| thar" suggested the woman to my cap
! tor.
Then he'un would hev bin dead, of
co'se," he calmly replied.
BY and by the men went up to attend
! the still, and the woman unrolled the pa
/ per OF pins to the last row, opened the pa
! per of needles, and placing the two spools
| of thread beside them, she called to the
boy:
Danny, cum hy'ar."
! "Yaas."
Look in my eyes"
| .YaaS"
''Is flightly?"
| ''Skeercely, ma'am."
"Well, rze either iighty or the richest
woman on these yere mountain, an I
wish pop would hurry back an tell me
! which to whether W-DetTUt Free Press.
BLACK HENS EGGS.
why it is That They Come Bigger
Than Those of Other Fowls.