davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

CONTINUED FROM FIRST PAGE.
tionsl Superintendent Of the depart.
ment, only nine of cor States and
Territories are without the iaw 70.
q.iring the teaching in public schools
Of Physiology with special reference
TO the effect OF alcohol and narcotics
on the body.
Mrs. Ingalls,. OF 81. Louis. 10 re-
porting the marc u ics department said
that thirty four States and the Dis.
tric' Of Columbia have passed laws
against selling tobacco to minors OF
various ages. An incalcuIable amount
Of good !, being done by the W. c. T..
Uoions Who bring about the appoint.
ment Of Police matrons in cities.
They are self sacrificing Christisn
women who receive all women and
cbildr.n taken to police stations.
sometimes unjustly, and give them
loving care and counsel.
l. was suggested by Miss Willard
that 'ss Emperor William Ut Germa.
nv has taken so progressive and de-
cided grounds on the temperance ques
ton, so that he has much antae oniz d
his own legislature. it might be well
for the !ergest gathering of temper
ance women anywhere 10 formulate
our expression of apprs citation and
good will, and ask him 10 continue to
TO do likewise and more Also This
was done.
The election OF officers resulted In
the continuance OF all, Miss Willard
receiving ell but two votes. The re-
port OF the womsn's Temperance
Publishing Association. Chicago, sta
ted that II had sent out this year
lS0,000,00O pages Temperance and
religious literature, $4,000 is the edi-
ton Of our organ the Union Signal
and papers for the Y, the children
and i've others are printed beside
innumerable leaflets.
The poets Whittier and Holmes.
Eliz. Phelps Ward and others sent
leiters OF greeting.
Invitations to hold the next annual
meeting were received from five cities,
Denver, Col. being settled upon by
The Executive Committee.
Perfect harmony was maintained
throughout the entire time, and sure
I've great mp lift will be given TO the
'fcrts OF this world-wils orgaaiza-
i!cn Woodbury. N. ]. Constitution.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

Ia Life Of lincoln, the biograph-
er says that on a certain occasion 40
intimate friend Of the president ask.
ed him the extent Of his bank account,
Mr.. Lincoln replied: l have exact
" 10000. Ten thousand dollars
repeated his friend, Ia smazement,
how on earth did you make III To
which Lincoln answered: made
$4,000 by minding my own business
and $4,000 more by letting other
peoples alone. There 10 q piquant
moral to this story, and as the avor'
age individual Is not rocking in the
ntold wealth Of CrCesus, let him
ser follow the example of the IL
,o2us president, II Tor no other
-, than improving their respec-
sok accounts.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

She had never visited the city, and
Ice cream was revelation to her.
Sally, said her cousin, how do YOU
like the creanp The cream itself,
said She seems to be little fetched
with frost.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

Mr.. c. young lawyer, wishing to
Gle q celebrated authority on a Ger.
tain point 10 case be was conduct.
ing. could not remember it. The
opposing counsel, a well-known wit,
remarked: Though lost to cite TO
memory dear.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11
p. Ii. DATGHIERY & co.

Cum5erlsnI,
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

A little girl took litter Of puppies
which she priced highly to a next.
door neighbor and wished to OK.
change them for a newly arrived
baby. She was greatly disappointed
because the trade was declined.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

Farmer Holmes Of Indiana paid q
quack doctor $40 for fixing his eyes
so that he could see in the dark as
well as In the light. II was a suc.
cess. That is, be can't see at all br
daylight and OF course can see Just
+ as well by night.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

was not aware that you knew
him, said Tom Smith to an Irish
friend the other day. Knew himf
said he in tone which comprehend.
cd the knowledge Of more than one
life, l knew him when his father
was q boy
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11
WIT AND HIUMOR.

How nicely this corn pops, said a
young man who was sitting with his
sweetheart before the fire. Yes, che
responded demurely, it's got over
being green.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11
oonsumptIoo sure,v o,~..,.

10 THn EDnon:-P1sase inform your rsad>sa
snAt have positive remedy for The sbove-named
disease. By its timely use thousands OF hepeioss
oasss have bean permanently cured. shall b aIs6
70 send two bottles OF my remedy GRKR 10 any -
your readers Who have consumption II they wfu
sond me their Express and p. o. address, Respoc@.
fully, 7. H. MoCUA. u. O., lsi Peaxi g.. 4. =.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

Guibollard reproved a friend
for drinking sbsinthe, dwelling
much upon the dangers of the
habit. Nonsense his friend re.
Piled; / have used it all my life,
aud / am sixty, Alb Guibollord
rejoined quickly, but if you had
not used It, by this time you might
be seventy.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-12-11

An English officer e ives an in.
cidert that occurred in the Crimes
which illustrates the imrulsive ar
dor of the Irishman. While ly-
ing wounded at the Alma, a man
stopped over me and said, Will
you be 90 kind % to tell me, cir,
if you are alive; or, if you are not,
perhaps this dhrop of drink will
help you.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
The Question Settled

Carl Pretzel: We have all heard that
Darwin has insinuated that in former
condition we sprang from limb to limb Of
trees, jabbered and nibbed and scratched
our sides with the skillful dexterity of a
smart monkey. And every man is willing
to believe that his neighbor is, or was, a
gigantic ape, a hungry baboon or fes-
tive OuraLg -outang, but that he himself
was ringmaster in the whole concern, and
the only man manufactured-proba
for sample purposes. If we were anything
we were pigs, and some haven't recov-
cred from 1t yet. Permit us to demolish
Darwin's theory at one fell swoop. TIC
confirm our theory we have only TO gaze
upon hotel or restaurant dining room
full of people eating green corn early in
out, instead of looking in the glass
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
ELECTION OF SENATOR'S

The Cincinnati Gazette, a leading
Republican paper, advises the Repub-
lican party of that state TO favor the
election OF United States senators by
direct vote of the people and refers to
the action of the Illinois Democrats
as being long step 10 that direction.
General Palmer was nominated for
the senate by the Democratic state
convention and canvassed the state as
such nominee and in favor OF chang
ing the constitution so that all United
States senators will be elected as we
now elect our governors.
The question was ably argued in
forming our constitution, Hamilton
holding for the present system and
Jefferson for electing by direct vote.
Since then the corrupt practices of
buying the senatorship have been fire.
quently charged with apparent good
grounds in some cases, and this has
caused change In sentiment on this
question. Our present senate would
oppose such change, and 1t will re-
quire years to affect the reform. In
dications are, however, that the ques-
ton has found permanent Judgment in
our politics, and will find expression in
the party platforms OF the future. A
candidate for the senate by popular
vote could not afford to buy all the
votes, and once he should get the rep
utation Of buying a part OF them he
would have hard road TO travel In
securing his election. Election by di.
rect vote OF the people will have ten.
dency to harmonic the workings OF
the two houses Of congress.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
Foolad an Illiterate Man

Snohomish Sun: A farmer from Western
Kansas, one of the counties on the Colo
RADIO line, drove into st. Joseph yesterday
on his way back to his wife's folks in
Indiana. To his wagon was tied poor,
hungry looking heifer. He had been in
the city but a short time when an old
acquaintance met him and the following
conversation ensued:
Hello, Bill! You amt leaving Kansas,
ar you?'
Yes; I've lived out there for five years
and got poorer every year, and I'm con
cuded to leave"
Did you sell your farm?'
yes"
What did you get for it?''
81 got the heifer you see there"
you didn't trade that whole 160 acres
for that heifer, did you?'
mo, ! didn't. / traded an eighty for
her, but when we went to the recorders
Office to make out the deed | found that
the fellow could't read or write, so | run
the whole 100 in on him without his know
ing it,"
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

A special from Ringold tells of won
derful phenomenon which visited that
historic city recently. Millions upon
millions Of frefes issued from neigh
boring mountain ridges and took down
the course of the Chickamanga river,
which skirts that city on its southern
border. The pyrotechnic display was
grand. Trunks of trees skirting the river
were plainly visible quarter of mile
distant. and the entire mountain side
was illuminated. The horde of firehies
were fully forty feet high, and it took a
quarter Of an hour to pass down the
stream. Cor. Atlanta Consti
tuition.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
INTERIOR OECORA-
TON.
Protest Against a Very Co
of 1t In Favor with ADmmon Form

Protest AKalnst very "
of 1t In Favor with Ammmon Form
How many times, says wnateurS.
Housekeeping, have we notriter in Good
paper-sensible and practical taken up
subjects wherein it touches+l upon most
answer to an Anxious Ine-and read, in
with few packing boxes, baIquirer," that
boards, some cotton fiannelrreis and pine
hue, few yards of cheese cloi of brilliant
Of all, an amateur paint brusth, and, worst
gliding, together with-well,h and pot of
Of dollars and cents to be 81, the number
pend upon the writer's beliepent must de-
ulity of the feminine publicef in the cred
nish your little room in su-you can fur
that cousin James" eyes wuch manner
with wonder when she comesvill open wide
to make her annual visit. from the city
doubt about the last Cou There is no
open her eyes, but the wondtsin Jane will
her friend should have SO srer will be that
oped such aggravated symptoddenly devel-
mindedness oms OF feeble
The man who says that If
up the old carpet, cover the you will take
paper and varnish it, you winoor with wall
DO closely resembling inlall have a floor
only a connoisseur can det.id wood that
ence, doesn't supplement hiect the differ
with statement of how mus Information
inlaid wood it will look aftuch more like
boot heels of your son aer the sturdy
danced Jig upon it's shind heir have
Pine boards and a broomstining surface.
substantial center table, bick may make
en- would hate to trust theiut most wom-
on. Packing boxes coveredr lamps there
flannel may make luxuriousd with cotton
would take more down pillos divans, but 1t
expensive but comfortable 'ws than an in
cost to make the soft lounge would
board" an easy resting placide of pine
age man. 70 for the aver
Now we all know that
useful article, but tell us, barrel is a very
barrel, having served its tpray, why that
ness in it's rightful place. slerm of useful
into fantastic shape, covehould be sawed
or cretonne, put upon sonred with calico
resembling rockers, and traethlng fantly
parlor, at the expense of ,nsferred to the
pounded fingers and exasl a tired body
when pretty little rockinperated nerves
bought for dollar and qg chair can bt
This fever of interior deouarterf
sumed a most malignant fcoration has as
ern housewife of moderate orm. The mod
rooms with a strange clu means fills hel
things, ties bow upon eltter of curious
corner that will hold one, thvery projecting
over every picture frame, arrows 'drapery'
back to view her work withnd then stand
Let not the woman with admiration.
bare and plain be discourapose rooms lool
ucated eye there is restfuged To the ed
simplicity. | charm in thei
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
TOO MANY AIRS.
II He Hadn't Asked Too Many Questions
He Might Have Staid.

He Might Have Staid.
A traveller that had stopped at a tum BILE
down log house in wild part of Kentucky
was much disguised with the corn bread
and rancid bacon that was placed upon the
table.
II don't see how you can stand such fare
all the time" said the traveller, speaking
to the Landlord
"Wall, mebby yo' eyesight amt as good
as mine. IF it was l reckon yo' could see
81 see number of chickens in the yard.
Why don't you kill some Of themH
"They amt never done me no HARM"
said the Kentuckian.
But why don't you eat some of themW
"Wall, they don't belong to me. They
air MANS"
"Why don't you kill one of those young
pigs out thereS"
"Jest as soon kill one out there as any
whar, but amt got nothin' agin any one
of them"
81 mean, why don't you eat one OF
themS"
"Oh, wall, they don't belong to me.
They are Mans"
81 see you have turkeys. Why don't
you eat some of them"
lhtl uou DtiobB W uic. lucy OIL
Bill's."
is there anything on the place that be
longs to you"
"Yas, I've got pint cup"
"Is that all2"
"All" Indignantly exclaimed the Ken
tuckian. why, confound yo' hide, what's
better to drink Ticker outen than a pint
cups Look here, do you think Pm stuck
up an don't want to 'sociate with my
neighbors' Stranger, Pm afeerd that II
you stay round here long you will learn
our people how to put on airs l reckon
you'd better mosey."
But don't want to leave during such
weather az this"
"Mister, when the morals Of neighbor-
hood are at stake the weather don't amount
to nothin' yo' boss is out thar in the sta
bic, an yander is the road. Moseyi Nam
step out thar an turn that bulldog loosep
That evening about O'Clock a weary
and drenched man was seen jogging along
a muddy road.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Lynden Press; The sides of barns and
vacant buildings are being utilized by the
council as bulletin boards to post the ordi-
nances being passed. If you wish to be-
come familiar with the laws of our town
get out beside some old building, cock
your left eye and put on strong sun
grin. and, if your health is unimpaired,
perhaps you will be able to secure the
information you are seeking. III you
should fail to find it in one place, look
around all of the quiet and vacant build
ings and you may be successful. There is
a saving of just 20 cents per lineal inch to
the town in this manner of posting notices
over the usual method of publishing in
the newspaper.
All honor to whom honor IS due and in
this master-stroke of financial economy
the council has plucked stars of glory
from the vastnesS of the universe.
Honor forever and eternal to the Lyn-
den council.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Of money in this country are the bald
est Of falshoods. The amount Of cir
culatiOn between 1870 and 1880, accord
ing to official reports, was never less
than ST. nor more than $40 for each
inhabitant. The actual circulation is
now over 1923. We do not believe that
is enough, and are of the opinion that
it might be safely increased to at least
$50 per capita.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Reverend ID. j. Mcmillan of New
York, secretary Of the Board of Home
Missions, will preach tomorrow morn
ing at the Presbyterian church and in
the evening at the Congregational
church. Reverend Walter Laidlaw
will preach at the Congregational
church in the morning and at the
Presbyterian church in the evening.
or course, on each of the occasions
the churches will be filed to their ut.
most capacity, as these gentlemen are
among the distinguished of the clergy
of the country.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
No Risks Refused.

"Are you the agent for the Soundasa-
dollar Accident Insurance company"
Eyes, sir"
81 want policy for Sc, 600"
"All right. Cost you $l.75 a What
is your business, sir?"
II am leading man in theatrical COM
pany."
."All right. 1t will be $1.75 "a But
hold onl What kind of play is it2'
1.-THE realistic comedy drama"
TANK or buzz sawT
BUZZ saw"
Double extra hazardous class. TWEEN
ty-five dollars a minute. No? Well,
good day. Chicago Tribune.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Spokesman: Spokane has taken by a
magnificent majority the first step toward
a revival of business and increase OF pros
perity and progress. The vote was not as
large as it should have been, but when
compared with the vote on a similar oc-
casion recently cast in Seattle, it is very
complimentary displayed by Spokaneites
in their local affairs. As the Spokesman
remarked at the time of the Seattle bond
election, there is never the interest dis
played in contests of this kind that there
should be. Now, however, that the bonds
are voted let them be placed and let the
great work of public Improvement COM
menced as soon as possible.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

The Ohio convention, that n0mi-
mated Major Mckinley for governor,
was one of the most enthusiastic
bodies that ever gathered in that
state, and in more ways than one il
sounded the keynote of the next cam
paign. 1t endorsed the tariff law that
was evolved from the Mckinley bill;
it gave prolonged and enthusiastic
cheers when Blaine's name was men
toned and the speeches of Ex-Governor
Foraker, Senator Sherman and Major
Mckinley presented Republicanism
in just the shape that true Republi-
cans will wish to advocate and sup
port it. Hurrah for the Ohio conven-
tion and Republicanism.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

There can be no question as to the
good motives actuating those who OPP
pose opening the Worlds Fair on Sun
day, but all reason is not on that side.
The high sense Of Christian duty
blinds these people to the proper status
of the case. The desire to have the
fair open on Sunday is not in any
sense a religious controversy. 1t is
solely matter of accommodating the
laboring people. If labor is king il
this country it is nothing more thar
right that the king be consulted ant
his interests attended to. Religion
cannot suffer by this course.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Mr.. Henderson, Of Henderson &
Templin Of this city, is very proud of
his foster daughter, Kate p. Hender-
son, who has just graduated with high
honors and delivered the salutatory Of
her class at Hampton college Kate
is a full-blooded Sioux, who, when
about years old, Mr.. Henderson pur-
chased from the Indians when he was
post-trader at Fort Peck Indian reser-
walton. She was then a ragged little
pappoose who used to loiter with
| other Indians around the agency and
knew no word of English. Since Mr..
Henderson adopted her and took
charge of her education she has pro
crossed wonderfully, and will now
take charge of an Indian school fol
the government at Belknap, Montana
among the Assnaboine Sioux, very
close to where she was born. In
bringing up and educating this little
Indian waif, who is now to teach
others Of her race, Mr.. Henderson has
laid up much treasure where mott
and rust doth not corrupt.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

UreROnlan: a cOlOred philosopher says
Life am mostly made up O.
prayin' fer rain an wishn' 'twould
clar of" This colored philosopher is
supposed to live in the South,
since a Southern newspaper reports
him; but if he lived In Oregon his
hhbit of observation would certainly have
evolved the same truth.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

This somewhat REMARKABLE.
cradle is the continuance otkable looking
matron who, in the courset a bright young
had learned that the Bull of her reading,
have an ingenious way ogarian mothers
offspring quiet at nightof keeping their
kind of hammock over IL by swinging a
enough so that the mothehe bed, just high
and set the hammock in mr. can reach up
soothe the baby before he notion, and thus
enough to cry. gets wide awake
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

IoJI-W IIIlaIn " King OF uFta1 ma nARBAUID.
Brtain, died.
attempt of the Federals 10 storm the
defenses OF Petersburg, Va; in five days
they had lost 10000 men.
cession Of Alaska completed by
Russian government; date from which
United States ownership is calculated.
ls78-Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna generally
called Santa Anna died In the City OF Mey-
leo; born Feb. q, 1896, In Jalapa.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
THEY SAY
The Editor Was In

Washington Post: An Illinois editor
ventured last week to critcise the abbre-
Waited and highly economical costumes
one of the churches Two offended citi
zens called the next day for IA retraction.
The editor was in. The visitors will not
be able to be around for a few days, and
the retraction is not forthcoming. Mus
cular journalism is on the rise.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Little Dick-Mamma, I'm awful sick.
Mayn't stay home from school?
Mamma-Certainly. Lie down on the
sofa
Little Dick (by the window half an
hour later)-Mamma, may go out and
play hopscotch with Billy Bunce? He
isn't at school to-day.
Mamma-You are sick.
Little Dick-So is Bily.-Good News.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
Plotting Me
~ rpaaf ic nm ayeatg.

Plotting meat is an eveats.
English cooks, and Mrs hryday affair with
mends it "a a very good Henderson recon-
left over food, instead OF way Of managing
into hashes and stews. always making it
ting should be roasted; IA chicken for pot
the meat, separating it hen take off all
skin, chop and pound from sinews and
gether with pound of tit thoroughly to
Boil the bones of the cbongue or of ham.
glaze, moisten the poundhicken down to a
glaze and season with sailed meat with this
nutmeg and a little bit, cayenne pepper,
pounded and run throultter. When well
into little stone jars antgh a sieve put it
Place in a covered stewpd press it In hard.
ing water in the bottom An with some boil
Press the meat down AZ for half an hour.
cover with hot butter. ain, wipe dry and
months. It will keep for
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
Important IL True.

81 wonder il Shakespeare would have
modified any of his plays II he had lived
until todayf"
mo doubt of it. He would have taken
Hamlet for instance, and made tank
drama in it. Ophelia could then have sui
cided in full view of the audience.-Life.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

Miss Swansdown lat the ball)-What did
you do with my shawl, Mr.. Peterkin'
gave it to you to keep half an hour ago.
Peterkin producing a slip Of paperl-
Great heavens, what have donei In a ut
Of absent mindedness took It out and
paw ned it.-Cloak Review.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

railway with steel II rails and a solid
foundation on its splendid franchise
and rlght-of-way. Fairhaven does
things right or not at all.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20

The immortal Shakespeare is said To
have worn earrings. and Charles l il re
puted to have been the owner OF : magnif-
cent pair of pearl earrings, which he be
queathed to his daughter the day before he
was executed.
Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-20
This Date in History-June 20,

l4S3-Richard. Duke Of Glou-
cester, proclaimed king I'M
der title Of Richard III.
l7g-Anna Letitia Aiken Mrs.
Barbauld) born.
1853 The Hindoos crowded the
Black Hole OF Calcutta
with English captives, Of
whom l23 died in one night.
1899 Anna Maria Porter, nov
elist. died.
tQoT Vyft1farnIN Lfugof q neat