The Opelousas courier., 1891-04-11
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Hush money is what the young hus-
band parts with for soothing syrups, etc.
Mercury.
Stealing a march is not larceny any
more than firing a peddler is
Piitts5urq Post.
uWhat 90 you think of Harkins as q
talker2" aHe is brilliantly DULL
Chicago Nesos.
The man who is always finding fault
will always assure you that he is
looking for it.-SomeroiWe Journal.
Accounting Trustee-ssFigures can't
lie, you know, SIR" Disappointed Bene-
fciary-ssNo, but liars can figure
Teas sysftinqs.
A mule would rather hear himself bray
than to listen to anybody else's music.
A good many people are built like him.
RAMS Horn.
sIll just take off my ~ova-coat," is
what the young chick said as it broke
The shell and first saw the light of day.
,Yonkers Statesman.
aHe is a great traveller" "Don't be-
, lieve he was ever out OF the cityln sBut
then, see how he wanders in his mind"
Philadelphia Times.
Miss Highmind-aWhat did you
think Of Sig. Travello." Miss Glddy-
girl-uOh, I thought his mustache was
simply stunning."-Chieago Neacs.
She went to Annals wedding.
For to wed was Anna fated,
She had a lovely time, OF course.
For then twas Anna mated.
Buffalo Cypress.
Woman can't throw a stone straight TO
save her soul. but she can sit in an easy
chair and enchant a man SO that ne VIII
90 and throw it for he~r.--Senee'oa1s
journal.
Blimbers-tsMy barber is really q very
talented person" Bjones-ssIndeeda'
Blimbers-aoh. yes; he often illustrates
| the stories he tells me with cuts. n-Boa
ton Post.
Common to New Workers: FRS
Stranger lin Boston)-ssh this Boston
Common2n Second stranger-sVery
But 0 ought to see New York.
american Grocer.
The Visitor (viewing the new baby
uDont YOU think he is going to resem.
BILE his father2n The Mother
shouldn't be surprised. He keeps me VI
every night.n-NeD York Sun.
Prof. Bumptious-ssIt has been truth
fullv remarked that "a little learning is
dangerous thing Sophomore (sots'
voicel-sWonder If professor realizes tne
peril he's inln--Boston Courier.
Amateur Actor-aWell, what did yo'
think Of nv modest ~efforta" Friend
asuperbi Simply superb A; A.
nThank you.n Friend-sConsidered 9
an efort.D-IndianapoisJ journal.
Husband-sWhat are you 50 much in
tarested In in that papera" Wife,
was reading one of those articles On 20
to get up a cheap dinner HUSBAND,
aDO YOU want to ruin mef"-Ne" N
lcQns Tunes Democrat.
awe had some m~ind-reading at ou
marty last evening. Johnny 9 . pi
and the new minister tried to find It.
ssAnd did he succeed2n ''0h, yes-h
found it when he sat down
NcDs. -,.,
uBut. Mr.. Finkelstein, why appiau
The NAV so vigorously when i y :
execrabiy bada'' ssThat makes no alnel
moe e me. nv dear fellow. lent u
author $40 this morning. -6sssgene
Bzoetter.
orba Government is going to pa
1890. 900 for q ram, = remarked 1ns sna1
s5;tor. pThe animal ought 70 nave
6ne nedigree to be worth that much,
rasl;ed tie agricultural editor.-s1
burg Telegraph.
globetrosle-ssDid you ever travel 9
personally conducted tour y
saeEar-- uoften. Globetrotie :
ssNhom did YOU have for manager y
,..,,-sn NJ. Meeker-sfMy wife. s.
New York Weekly. 3,
cho,lsv,s father was b Baron N tne soi
And the ls,s g Il be aoughtto marry had 9 fath
rich Id wool; Ell. ]. a,,a /,
oasD Yankee girl said, Let's i.
{ And they said be was no pafon !
founo e pau = -Chicago Ne,os.
az am n q hideous pickle p
Co.,, soep A-aT have not got an
thing to eat, and the only snin5 IL,
hem and buy something 70 eat tn sa
s .v'a4 III Il. 1 never was IN such : ND
~ AZ III all my life.n-Tazas 8Dtsags'
Bad Boz getting II . body blow.
IL ay,ss with 1 meek expression)-N
Tonmv, 1 will mot bit you back be CAV
.s1nr,;sed mother that ] would nev
atrike J playmate, but Ricking hlIn g,
I stornach) how do you like thatsN
A.. 1yawE WezDa.