Nevada County picayune., 1891-09-03
A Lecture to Lovers.

"A LGCtuTe lO hONCl D.
 Oh, you foolish, foolish, little maidens, with your dainty heads so full of unwisdom. how often, oh, how often are you to be warned that it is not the sweetest thing in lovers that is the best material to make good wearing husband out of: "The low CT signing like furnace" will not go on signing like a furnace forever. That furnace will go out. He will become the husband ''full of strange paths, jealous Tn honor, sudden and quick in quarrel and grow "into the lean and slippered pantaloon.' How will he wear? There will be changing if he does not suit, no send ing him back to be altered, no let ting him out bit where he is too tight and hurts you, no having him taken in where he is too loose, no laying him by, when the cold comes, to wrap yourself up in something warmer. As he is when you select him, so he will have to last you all your life, through all changes, through all seasons.
 Yes, he looks very pretty now handsome pattern, if the colors are fast and do not fade-fecls soft and warm to the touch. How will he stand the worlds rough weather :: How will he stand lifes wear and tear!
 He looks so manly and brave. His hair curls so divinely. He dresses so well q wonder if the bills are paidD. He kisses your hand 50 gracefully. He calls you such prct- ty names. His arm feels so strong around you. His fine eyes are so full of tenderness as they gaze down into yours.
 Will he kiss your hand when it is wrinkled and old? Will he call you pretty names when the baby is cry Ing in the night, and you cannot keep it quiet, or, better still, will he sit up and take turn with it; Will his arm be strong around you in the days of trouble: Will his eyes shine above you full of tenderness when yours are growing dim!
 And you boys, you silly boys, what materials for wife do you think you will get out of the empty headed coquettes you are ravirg and tearing your hair about: Oh, yes, she is very handsome, and dresses with exquisite taste, the result of de- voting the whole of her heart, mind and soul to the subject (and never allowing her thoughts to be dis tracted from it by any other mum dane or celestial object whatsoever, ) and she is very agreeable and enter taining, and fascinating, and she will go on looking handsome and dress ing exquisitely, and being agreeable and entertaining, and fascinating, just as much after you have married her as before, more so, if any thing.
 But you will not get the benefit of it. Husbands will be charmed and fascinated by her in plenty, but you will not be among them. You will run the show, you will pay all the ex- penses, do all the work. Your per forming lady will be most affable and enchanting to the crowd. They will stare at her and admire her, and talk with her and flirt with her. And you will be able to feel that you are quite benefactOr to your fellow men and wumen--tO your fcllow-mcn especially-in providing such de- lightful amusement for them free. But you will not get any of the fun yourself
 You will not get the handsome look. You will get the jaded face, and the dull, lustreless eyes, and the untidy hair with the dye showing on it. You will get dirty, shabby frocks and slommicking dressing gowns, such as your cook would be ashamed to wear. You will not get the charm and fascination. You will get the after headaches, the onI urup, blinos thp