The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-03-07

tnut nc y tight
Every person on earth must have
some sort OF pet even II il Is moth
ing better than himself
The hen isn't popular outside her
owners premises, but she makes quite
a spread In her own SET
"What frightfully decollete AMI
malr' exclaimed Miss Bnddington. as
she looked at tho giraffe.
He (after tho ceremony $50.
Darling. we are at last welded for
lifor Shc--"Oh. not necessarily"
On moist muggy. misty morning
II stands fashionable young LADY Ia
hand to Trust In God and keep her
powder dry"
Your number" said the warden to
the prisoner. lis 400" That's gratl-
Tying" said tho unfortunate; .Pm in
the 400 at last
Teacher You say there are six
senses' Why. have only five"
Scholar II know It. sir The sixth
one Is common sense"
Artillery Lieutenant Tin the way OF
complimenp -"Ah, my dear young
lady, but your looks. your glances. 90
right homo. Every ones bulrsoye."
Watts "Wonder why they always
call a locomotive 'she?'n Potts-.May
be IL is on account OF the horrible
noise IL makes when Ii tries TO whis-
tle.n
II love TO sit before blazing fire
and watch the figures in the flame"
"Vhell." said Isaacs. ''dher bleasure
OPT dot depcnts larchly on dher in
suranzcn
Widow Casey "Ah. Mr.. Dolan.
when my ould man died Il left big
hole in my heart" Mr. Dolan--"Mrs.
Casey, would We moind patchin' IL wild
Il bit out OF mineP"
Do Fer-"I feel like a new man this
morning." Waite (anxiouslyl -"Ahi
Do you feel anything like the kind OF
IA man that would be apt to pay debt
OF s5p" He paid IT,
Small Boy-"Ma. do clergymen ever
strilSeF" Mother They do. my son.
When they are offered another place
with larger salary they immediately
strike out for that place"
Wooden-"Do you sec that old swell
over there? His face looks hundred
and his hair Is as black us charcoal;
he certainly must dye" Edgely-
.sAh ,,all. an ,n,,af vo all
Professor Ca little distracted) -''rm
very glad TO see you. How's your
wifc!" II regret 1t, professor but
I'm not married" "Ah. yes; thcn. OF
course. your wife's still slngle?"
Advertiser "Mr. Journay. I'd like
TO have you write mo little ode on
my baking powder. | want 1t right up
TO tho prevailing style" Mr.. il
understand you want 1t alum-ode."
IL am perfectly delighted with my
dwelling NJ present have dining
room. reception room. n working
room. n smoking room and u sleeping
room. aud just think how convenien,
all In one"
care Mr.. and Mrs. Green at homer
was asked OF the little girl who
answered the bell YES" "Aro
they engaged" The small girl looked
Mortified as she answered, why.
| they are married.
Cuify "Why. how did yer git inter
the clrcusPn Duffy-"W'y yer SOC
was lookin' under the canvas n a
big Snowman cum along md kicked
me clear in" Cufy -"You'sc alters q
lucky cuss. Duffy"
'Smatterton thinks that he is one OF
the people who are born before the
worlds civilization Is ready for
them" "Humph." was the rejoinderi
''comc to think OF It. he does strike
rue as tribe previous"
Mrs. Graball ~ wish there was a
law giving all mans property to his
wife" Mr. Graball--''You ought "
live In Germany; there most every
thing is Hers" Mrs. Graball-- well.
/ only wish did live there"
Baldwin "Rambo you are looking
very rocky. Go and take Turkish
bath. II will do you good. | have
just had one" Rambo -- STEADY Ing
himself with n great eiforD -''Gl-glad
4 hear IL. my steamed fr-frlend."
Simpson ''Whatover induced your
uncle 70 marry the widow Of man
who was hungP" JImpson--"He has
been married 10 widows before. and
says he was tired OF having the virtues
OF n former husband flung In his face"
Clara" said her father. didn't
tell you some time ago not 10 have
young Dudlelgh coming here sever
NIGHTS n weekgn YEA: and he doesn'i