davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
,tencnre ID. Conway.

NEw YcRE, June 2q.-fSpecial. Mon.
cure d. Conway has been IN New York all
winter. Mrs. Conway is At 80 one Of the
most beautiful women | have ever seen.
with sweet face totally destitute of
sffectation. Her husband looks fully
twenty wears older. but works IS hard as
ever. Mrs. Conway uses all her womanly
tact 20 keep him from breaking the rule
which she has laid down for him-never
To work evenings. To keen him from his
desk she induced him TO so to many social
gatherings during the winter, where he
enjoyed himself thoroughly, il there were
not too many lights OF stairs 10 climb 10
the cloak room. ON the stairs his thin
legs gss tired veryIsoon.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

handed. "Must Heaven ;,ss,t ~
your head to surprise Won 7s lAti ~
The roar OF the ghabiiih f.;~.--.
tne groan OF the camel are two ~
familiar TO US since birth, he sns~s.e.
Dumbfounded by such stoicism a
turned to my tent, wondering Wis.,
a people would not De able -
They are truly hardy and ton.. sneeR
every respect; deaf to the suferirss
others, dumb 10 their own ;r.
fatigue and insensibie to hardsh;a
awakening call was not soundsS
morning. the colonel wishing ~
before starting how much dams
been done and whether the nsn ~
to march
When | arose at daylight and
around, / could scarcely realize ,h..f
awake. The plain wore quite n 49, N
aspect. These large waves of s.na Is y
had noticed the previous day 49,
appeared. A dune fifteen feet h;sS g
also been removed and several - -
eminences had been reformed a fsv n.
further on.
Many tents had been torn. ard IN.
had penetrated through every hssnr.
hole In the knapsacks, and even I'M. s
gun-oarrels. The pack-saddles ana t.l9
OF provisions had disappeared almo.. J.
treiy beneath the sand. Several -
weighing eighty pounds had been roi,s
distance OF 300 feet and partly hrs
However. aside from the three ner y
had been stumbled over by horse, Y
wounded. no one felt any serious -
quences from the tempest. Two -
were found to have lost an eye from -
struck by coarse grains Of sand. Tia Is
was spent IN making repairs, but frv ~
of new hurricane the following MIA, :
moved toward evening ten miles frr,is
along, where We encamped on thu 4.
ground. HrLARroy NTrv.-' u
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
A Foreign Invasion.

Terrible winters throughout Europe brough.
forth bitter fruits that ripened in America.
"Ls Grippe" with varying violence broke forth
here, and the mortality lists show its shocking
rayAges in aggravated cases. An alcoholic
principle embodied as a medicated stimulsnt in
the form OF HostetteF's stomach Bitters has and
viii ever prove the best specific. Leading con-
tinental and American physicians declare that
medicine with spirituous basis, such as this.
affords the surest guarantee against the treuen.
dOus inroads OF this shocking malady When
We consider that a slight change of weather il
apt Ia renew H. thss II attacks those easily vui-
tremendously swift and destructive, we must
admit the necessity of repelling 1t at the outset
with a sure preventative. Hostetters Stomach
Bitters is also safeguard sgaisnt malaria.
dyspepsia. rheumatism, liver aud kidney com
yNlz air
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

barrow who, by the sudden death OF
three relatives, IS Installed at the old manor
house as the head of the family.
The priggish old butler, who has reie-
gated TO himself the right TO instruct me IN
ell the intricacies of the gentleman's toilet,
so exasperated me on one occasion that l
draw off one of my slippers and fling it at
his head.
Well, on the night in question we were
playing at the Lyceum st the time. Au-
gusrus Cook, the butler. got little too far
down toward the footlights, and when be
lodged the slipper. II sailed out into the
auditorium, barely missing the head OF
stout gentleman seated about half way
down the aisle.
There was laugh at this, Of course, but
il grew into a roar when the bald-headed
man, whose face rivalled an Italian sunset
in the brilliancy of coloring, hastily arose,
picked up the slipper. put it in his pocket
and stalked indignantly out of the theater.
It was too near the end of the scene to
make il worth while sending the butler
for another slipper, so hoped around on
one foot until the curtain went down.
EDw SoTHERS.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
STAND UP" MARSHALL P. WILDER.

OF course you know Maze Edwards. He
used 10 be treasurer in the Fifth avenue
box office,is and a very little man like my
self. One day as went TO get some tick
cts, he was standing at the window sell
ing, his head just coming up to the ledge
of the window. Mine just came up TO the
edge outside. aud in my naturally deep
voice | opened up and said. Give me two
seats in c, please"
stand up. he called angrily, thinking
| was 3 tall man who had STOPPED down TO
guy him.
stand up yourself" / answered quick
lly, at which, recognizing the joke, we both
laughed heartily
MARSHALL p. WILDER
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
O. X. L.
Your Hair

What Is the condition ofitf Ism
dry and harsh TO the touch? Has
IL IifeIess appearance. and isH
void Of lustre, like the hair upon
the head of q conyalescent evx
patient Does IL fall ous Ehs1
being combed or brushed, IsF1r
scalp dry or In a heated con&inna
and Is your hair full of dandnft I
If these are some Of your symF
toms, be warned In time. lest yo1
become bald. and thus lose one o.
natures nobIest gifts, q bountiful
covering sor the head We offer
Won a valuable herbal treatmentfor
IMPOVERISHED hair-S A I Z Res
OWN REMEDY. Our preparation
will stop all cases OF FALLING
HAIR, eradicate dandrun. and
thicken the growth where the hair
Is thin and enfeebled- SKOOkUA
ROOT HAIR GROWER Is q cool
ing and refreshing tonic. An eIs-
giant dressing for the hair, being
exquisltely perfumed. Free from
poisonous substances, oils or dyek
1t Is endorsed oy physicians every
where. Sold by druggists. 81; SIX Tor
s.. Manufactured by SKoOkUM
ROOT HAIR GROW Err Co, New
York. Western branch, 153 Yam
bill ST, Portland Or.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

dancing away at my very best before q
most appreciative though perhaps rather
noisy audience, when suddenly two of the
stage props gave way and down went one
end of the platform. Quick as flash the
manager lifted the fallen end, and placing
il on his shoulder, went on playing his nd
die and shouted excitedly 10 me to go
ahead with my Jig.
Well, the sight of that old fellow there.
bent double, holding the stage up to pre-
vent spelling the performance. | shall
never forget as long as live.
HENRY +. DIxEY.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
NAT C. GOODWIN, Jr.
JOSEPH MURPHY HoRRIFIEs GOOD CITIZENS
OF TOPEKA

OF TOPEKA.
Ny funniest stage experience did not
happen on the stage at ali. 1t happened
when l was billed for Topeka, Kansas.
When my train arrived in Topeka. half a
dozen gentlemen came into the car and
said TO me: us this Mr.. Murphy?~ to
which / replied it was, whereupon with q
few pleasant remarks they led me out TO a
carriage near the depot. 1t was fright
fully rainy day, and l remember thinking
it extremely queer that any one should
meet me with a carriage: but having
played to big houses all around there, I
concluded it was little act of courtesy on
the part of Topeka citizens.
We drove to the hotel and the rest nv
company went 10 theirs. Immediately
upon our arrival in the parlor touched
the bell. Upon the boy answering my
summons | turned to my companions and
said. Gentlemen. what will Won have? a
glass OF beer, wine, cigars or anything you
choose"
The faces of the men, as l said this, were
study, and they exclaimed, why. I
don't know what you mean, Mr.. Murphy"
q mean simple courtesy" returned.
1t is certainly customary to offer a glass
OF wine in return for such a welcome as
yours"
This is outrageous" cried one of them.
that you should come here tonight to
lecture on temperance and talk about
drinking" To which I answered that
was going to do nothing of the kind.
Are, you not Mr.. Francis Murphy ?"
they asked.
NO, | am Joe Murphy. the actor"
SAID, smiling, and they dashed ont of the
door in search of their right visitor.
Well, II seems some big temperance So
clety there was 70 have Francis Murphy. q
well known temperance lecturer there on
the same evening. The other Murphy's
train arrived some I'VE minutes after
mine. and he was obliged TO carry his
vaiise through the rain TO a near hotel, I'M
welcomed and alone. | afterwards be-
came acquainted with him and we enjoyed
good laugh over the mistake.
JOSEPH MURPHy.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
STORIES BY ACTORS.
Their Amusing Experiences on
and Off the Stage.
FUN NOT DOWN ON THE BILLS.
"Reminiscences By Dixey, Nat Goodwin
Joe Murphy, James O'Neil1, Nell Bur-
CESS, Il. HI. sothern and Others.

A cockney gallery god furnished the ma
terial for this amusing "reminiscences OF
mine. It was during my early days on the
stage and was playing part in holi-
day pantomime called the Seven Devils. :"
At one point in the piece the devils one by
one sink through atrap on their way, pre-
sumably, to the neither regions. On this
night, however, one of the demons failed
to materialize at the theater, and at the
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
WHAT 1T DID FOR THEN
Both Himself and Wife Afflicted ~
Years-Both Cured in Two Week.


Both myself and wife have been for some ~
afflicted with the disease of the kidneys, ard hz1
tried many remedies without obtaining permanG1
relief About three months ago we were inined
TO try package of the OREGON KIDNEY TIA
which has apparently entirely cured both Of "a n
since taking it two weeks we have felt No unf|
toms of the disease. We can heartily recnmmaf|
10 to others similarly afflicted, we believe VI
do all that Is claimed for 1t. NJ L WITH
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
A GALLERY GOD GETS TIN O,


I was playing Monte Cristo" at the
California theater, San Francisco, several
years ago when an incident occurred that
furnished more amusement TO the audi
ence than any of which have ever known.
The house was packed and everything
went along swimmingly until the middle
OF the last act.
At this point, having already disposed of
one Of my three mortal enemies, I engage
the second in a night with swords and as
he falls 10 the ground pierced through the
heart step quickly beside the body and
raising the index and middle myers Of NV
right hand toward Heaven / exclain
Two"
Hoyt's farce comedy, a Bunch of
Keys" was playing across at the Busb
Street theater and as | afterward learned
catch line of the piece was Just then in
everybody's mouth. | had scarcely ut
tered the exclamation when q gallery god
fiend with all the force of his lungs. aided
by hlgh-pitched voice shouted. Well
you don't get il.
That | vas confounded the sudience
could plainly see from my expression, and
TINS OF course added 20 the exquisite hui
MOI of the situation.
As the laughter increased instead of ii
minlshins | nodded 20 the stage manager
who rang down the curtain until quiet was
again restored. JAMES OfAErLI.
Z. II. soTHESS HOPS AROUND on ONE Foor
don't know whether mine will be very
funny TO tell about it, but it certainly was
funny 70 see. was playing the part of a
rough country Lad in the Master OF Wood
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
GRATEFUL BEYOND EXPRESSION.

Portland, Or, July 81.
The OREGON KIDNEY TEA has cured NV
back and kidneys, and am at q loss TO express
my gratitude l shall always remember the
Oregon kidney Tea with pleasure and esteem
and highly recommend IL 70 all my friends and
acquaintance J. II. p. DOWNING.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

piece called "a Bottle Providence was
to be the place where I made my debut,
and the part assigned me was the old-time
gentlemanly william who come TO the viii
lage and captures the heart of the rustic
beauty.
I had rehearsed several times and was
sure knew it all.
The heroine was to rush on with a
scream and l run after her; but she
hadn't rehearsed the scream with me,
so when she dashed on and gave an un-
earthly yell it nearly frightened me to
DEATH
| stubbed my toe, fell sprawling, and
lost one of my sidewhiskers. ] couldn't
utter a word and didn't do so during the
whole performance. They thought |
would gain courage as the piece pro-
crossed, but during the third act the Or
chestra came in with few thrilling bars
of music and ! completely lost my head,
and dashed out of the theater to lind the
depot and take the next train for Boston.
As entered the cars with makeup on,
a black streak on my cheek from black
ened eyebrows, and my wig at one side,
passengers thought | was staring mad.
On reaching home I rushed in to my
mother, who thought / was going 10 be a
second Booth, begging her not to send me
on the stage again, but TO get me posi-
ton in some store.
Nat C. GooDwry Jr
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
ROBERT H1rI1ARp's COOLEST NIGHT.

The funniest part of my funny exper-
fences was that played the joke on my
self. l was manager when it happened.
One night when Wesley Sisson and I were
running the Criterion theater in Brooklyn
several years ago we were sitting in the
box Office attired in dress suits. silk hats
and patent feathers. congratulating our
selves on the strength of the big house the
current piece was drawing, when a boy
rushed up TO the window and gasped out
the startling news that some hoodlums
were carting off one of our big twety-four-
sheet bill boards.
ACQUIRED as I was dashed out into the
street, not even stopping TO put on my
overcoat, although there was snow on the
ground and the weather was biting cold
After a chase of at least half mile the
boy and l caught up with the robbers, and
sure enough there lay the big bill board
face downward resting on the side of the
truck
After being pelted with snowballs by
small boys and nearly mobbed by half
grown thieves. / at last succeeded in wrest-
ing the reins from the driver and started
hckerty-split back to the theater.
When the board had been taken off and
lifted up against the wall, what do you
think it read? Positively last week of
Booth and Barrett at Sims New Park
Theater"
Next day sent Slim bill for new hat
and pair of pumps, but he must have
forgotten my address, for hadn't heard
from him up to the time l let home this
morning. ROBERT +. HILLIARD.
NAT GooDwIN's FISTS STAGE EXPERIENCE.
Before / ever went on the stage used
to take part in amateur affairs in my
mothers parlors in Boston, and bothered
in some company.
My friends also said they were convinced
l had talent. So finally Thorne secured
me position in company then PLAYING
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

so pleasant that the smallest chldw nm An
cate woman takes it without difficulx
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

last moment one of the supers was pressed
into service. In the hurry and excitement
when the other six had safely descended it
was found that the fat super was many
sizes too large for the opening in the trap.
There he stuck in spite of the combined eff
forts of all the devils to pull him through
by the legs. This of itself was intensely
funny, but when one of the gallery boys in
a tone of intense relief sang out at the top
of his voice, Thank the Lord, ell's full"
there was universal shout of laughter in
which everybody in the building Joined,
with the single exception of the fat super.
EDWARD S. WILLARD.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
DON'T

Don't cheat yourself
out Of a good smoke by
taking a poor tmi tation
for the genuine Seal Of
North Carolina Plus
Cut Tobacco.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05

DIxEY DANCES A JIG ON HIS MANAGERS BACK.
Most of my experience with stage mis-
takes have been stupid rather than funny,
but remember one little incident which
was almost pathetic as well as amusing.
1t happened when l was a boy and be-
longed to snap company-barn-stormi
around the country.
The manager of the show was also leader
of the orchestra of three pieces and played
first fiddle.
The stage consisted of platform held
up by wooden horses One night I was
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-07-05
EMBARRAssIyG sITrATIoN FoR s

EMBARRASSING SITUATION FOB NEIL BURGESS.
1t was when / first went on the stage
that had my funniest experience. We
were then playing around in the small
towns and / was fired on, as we call it, to
the next scene
Ny part was a small one and mainly
consisted of explaining some of the char
acters in the play, from which remarks the
actors came on and took their cues.
On this particular night | had finished
my allotted speech and waited vainly for
the appearance of the men to follow me.
No one came. / walked nervousiy TO the
left wing and peered into the first entrance
but not soul was to be seen. l walked TO
the right and glanced up and down but
not even a stage hand was in sight. I
knew very little of the farce, and what to
do didn't know, so / marched back and
forth on the stage with tragic gestures,
muttering few words now and then as if
to give the appearance of reality to my
performance, but the gallery gods "were
on to me- and enlivened the scene by
calling out various things, such as ''It's
about time you went of. " "Oh, you'll be
sorry for this when you get sober" etc.
Finally, after what seemed hours, but
which was in reality only few moments,
the players appeared, the scene went on
and / made my escape.
It seems that the trap door behind the
scenes had been left open by mistake and
one of the young women had fallen
through.
She fell on some soft stuff and was not
injured, but everybody, including the
stage hands, had run down stairs to see
her, forgetting all about me and that | was
holding the stage. NEIL BURGESS.
The St. Johns herald., 1891-01-15
ShaRghaied a Dead Man.

"Bunco" Kelly, who has put more unwilling men aboard vessels than any man on the Coast, was ar rested few days ago at Astoria.
 "Bunco" Kelly has been a fami- liar figure in water front circles in this city and Portland for a number of years, and has a record which, like a deceased mackerel, will shine and stink, and stink and shine. An illustration of the leading trait of his character is found in a story of hislife, which he related to the writ CT several years ago in Portland.
 Kelley had his tongue limbered up by an overdose of Couch pre- cinct whisky and was telling about the various classes of men he had shipped. "The worst I ever done" said Kelly, twas to ship man who died before we got him aboard :; but men were high in those days, and scarce, too, 50 everything went. We took him out to the ship in a boat and hauled him abroad with line, and I worked his hands up and down and grunted like a drunk en man, and another fellow carried his legs and kept saying as how 1t was a shame for a man to get so beastly drunk. and we told the mate that the fellow was a rattling good seaman and would be all right when he sobered up in the morning, and after we put him in his bunk 1 went forward and got a receipt for him, and before they found out about hIs being dead we had the money, and, of course, they couldn't prove but that he had died after he got aboard"
 At the time Kelly told the story he said the affair occurred on Puget Sound six years ago, and his career since that time would indicate that he was telling the truth.-The Col umbian.
The St. Johns herald., 1891-01-15

A twenty-four hour clock dial has beer adopted on all the Indian state railway. The peripherySof the dial is divided into minute sections as Tn ordinary clocks and watches; the hour is indicated by a figure on a small conspicuous plate or disk above the center ofthe dial, so that the necessity for more than one hand is obviated New York Com- mercial Advertiser.
The St. Johns herald., 1891-01-15

One of the most excellent of re- cent innovations is the introduction of metal ceilings in place of wood and plaster. These ceilings do not shrink or burn like wood, they will not stain, crack or fall off like plas- ter, but being permanent, durable. fire-proof and ornamental, will eventually supersede both wood and plaster, besides being in the end far more economical than eith- CT.
The St. Johns herald., 1891-01-15
Fortune TGOk Wings.

London, Dec 29.-It would be difficult to find parallel to such q sudden descent from immense wealth to comparative poverty as that of the partners in the great firm of Barring Brothers & Go. Lord Revelstoke was building a spendid mansion in Mayfair which was to cost 910O,OOO, but has sur rendered this as we'll as the rest of his property to his creditors to be realized upon as among the assets of the firm. The other brothers have dealt with their property in the same way.
 NJ. HOdgson, who was a silent partner only, and drew $40,00O a year from his share of the profits of the business, had a magnificent place in Kent, where the family had dwelt for three generations. This he has given over as it stands, house, furniture, works of art and everything, to the liquidatOrs, and
 finds himself beginning life again at an advanced age at salary of $500 per year in the service of the revived limited company of Earrings & Co.
 Another partner, MT. Steuart, father-in-law to Herbert Ward of Stanley and Africa fame, had pur- chased one of the most palatial houses in Carlton House terrace and was spending 9150,O0O in dec oration and finishing il. The house was to have been occupied by him this spring and a great house-warm- ing was planned. He considers fortunate in finding a pur- chaser for it in the person of Mrs. Mackay. Yet another member of the firm, Henry Bingham Midway, had a splendid house and estate in Kent, for which he has found a tenant for three years in Sir Henry James.
The St. Johns herald., 1891-01-15
Arizona should include that re-

Arizona should include that re- zion of country lying west of the Colorado river to the 115th Meri- dian of Greenwich, and from the Both parallel, south to the Mexican line. This would include the Colo rado within the boundaries of Ari- zona and large strip of country tributary to it which must ever be an isolated region while 1t belongs to California. Belonging to Arizo- ma as a State the improvement and IeYying of that river could be un- dertaken by her and the distribu- tion and development of its waters for irrigation purposes be handled without the complication that must arise while the stream washes the borders of two States. \ bill should at once be introduced in Congress for this change and we feel certain that California seeing the justice of the measure would not oppose it. Phoenix Herald.