The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1891-05-02
RANDOM REPLEOlIOHS.

RANDOM REF ELECTIONS.
1t is given ont that Eddie Gould. jays
bad boy, has DISAPPEARED from Wall
street This doubtless fpreshadows
something particularly diabolioal in
financial way that will be charged up to
HIM in few days. Somebody is about
TO lose railroad or two. What pity
Gould would not come out on the short
side some day! He would then know
what ill luck was.
The increase in the coal production of
the states west of the Mississippi IN re-
cent years has been great enough to
prove that the west could, it. necessary.
furnish enough of this of fuel to sup
ply the needs of the entire continent for
centuries to come. It seems, however.
that with the increase in coal produc-
ton. the cost of that commodity in
creases also. Bad logic, but 1t goes
just the same.
An Englishman has been shot and
killed by the Venezuelan police Without
provocation. England will perhaps
make this pretext for war. but she
oyerlooks the fact that 3 good many OF
her citizens deserve death for forcibly
robbing Venezuela of big strip of her
territory. England will not tlouble
herself about this man. He had not
much money, and was therefore of little
account.
*x*
In the British parliament there is
bill which practically is protective
measure. There are so many foreign
goods in that country that the British
pride is appealed to, the people are
urged to buy the home made articles and
foreign goods must be stamped SO
that customers will be more certain to
buy the English products. Irish goods
will of course be labeled ''foreign
goods" Their free introduction would
iniure English manufacture.
*
A CHILEAN living at Tacua, Peru,
claims to be ISL years old. and shows q
paper that he signed 142 years ago.
His nejghbors, none Of whom saw him
sign the document. however. believe
that he is even older. He works regu-
larly in his garden and enjoys the best
of health, which he attributes to the fact
that he hasn't used either tobacco or
liquor for over 100 years. Here is a
good argument in favor of Gardening
and one against tobacco. Who will take
the hint?
Young Lord Leyeson, the young Earl
of Granville, has in his possession
form that he would like to give away,
but can't. He is skillful amateur
slight-of-hand performer, and accident
ally swallowed the coin year ago while
amusing children's party. Doctors
have repeatedly tried to remove it, but
without success. 1t causes much trouble
in his midst now and then. There is one
consolation for him, however, and that
is that he is never busted" He always
has little coin with him.
~
Stanley's servant, Sail, has been SUBJ
jected to many ind;gni5ies. especially IN
the South, and he thinks he would rather
be in Africa than here. He saliently OBJ
serves that it is hard on man who
has shaken hands with Queen Victoria
and dined at the same table with the
Prince of Wales, as he has, to be cum
marily elected from hotels aud theatres.
1t may feel so but when man keeps
company with Wales he gets in the habit
Of not paying his bulls and ejeotment
follows as a matter of course.
Another conspiracy to break the will
of a millionaire by means of the some
what ancient "bogus' widow dodge has
come to grief in New York, through the
confession of Cassie Brooks, the
'w1dow' in question. By her own ad-
mission the plot which was to defraud
the heirs of Loring a. Robertson, the
wealthy leather merchat who died in
Brooklyn recently, was concocted by
party of conspirators. Money is great
thing, but the love of it is greater.
When will 1t take second place here be-
low.
~
Tea:tasting is q professionals can
hardly be called trade-by which at
least 200 men in New York make good
livings. The habits of these men are
exceedingly curious. Some If them re-