davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04

Z. was election day in town il
Tennessee, and while the crowd of
men on the streets seemed good
natured and inclined to peace, there
were several old pioneers who shook
their heads and remarked that such q
condition of affairs boded no good.
One old farmer beckoned his son into
public stairway and said:
''Look a-here, Reuben, don't you
start no fuss around yere today"
"Fur why?"
"Kase the man who starts a fuss IL
gwine to get chawed to strings in no
time. This crowd is onery, Reuben" !"
"Hain't l gwine to tell old Parke
that he stole our hogs5" queried
Reuben.
"No, sirl He'd breed fuss quick.
er nor scat. You jist hold yerself level,
Reuben-mighty level"
Reuben promised to and then slanteo
his hat on his ear and sailed out to spit
over his shoulder, hunt old Parke up
and call him a hog thief. He had
scarcely got the words out of his
mouth when something hit him and he
dropped, and in less than two minutes
there was fighting for two blocks up
and down the street. Reube's old
father was in the bar of the hotel
taking drink. The sounds of conflict
brought him out just as Reufe crawled
up the hotel steps. He had broken
nose, broken jaw, two black eyes. q
scalp wound, cut hand, AID was
almost naked.
"Is that you, Reube?" shouted the
old man as he bent down to get q
closer look.
Reube nodded his head.
Found old Parke and called him
hog thief, reckon?"
Another nod from Reuben.
well, l told We, and now durn yef
good-fur-nuthin' hide, hope ye won't
be able TO dig sassafras fur six months
to comei Howsumever, bein' as 8
row has started, and bein' Pm allus to
home when thar's ightin', Pn sail in
and warm up leetle."
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
He Knows His Business.

The long hours of omnibus men have
recently excited good deal of public
sympathy; but a certain number of the
men themselves declare that Smpathy
to be uncalled for. The other night 1
questioned Bayswater driver on this
point. "People fancy" he said, "that
we have to work our sixteen hours at
a stretch, as though we were on the
treadmill. But take my case. 1 get
half an hours rest at the end of each
journey, so that L am not on the box
more than twelve hours day." Many
'busmen, he went on, did not know
when they were well off. If the COM
panies reduced the hours, they would
very soon reduce also the pay. BE
sides," he added, "look at the peraui-
sites attached to driving. Not a mig ht
has passed this week without some
gentleman offering me cigar. And
then, on my last journey to Liverpool
street, there's gentleman gets up at
Oxford Circus who gives me an extra
sixpence for catching his tt lin at Broad
street station. He's done that every
night for the last three months. 1t
saves him a Iansom." "What time
does his train start?" 1 inquired.
"Twelve minutes past ten." "And
what time are you due there in the
usual course~ "Five minutes past"
"Then you are due long before his
train?n eyes, but 1 don't tell him so.'
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Couldn't be Supposed,

A man from the West was telling a
few of us in the smokers compartment
about some of his adventures in Mon
tana, when a young man in a very
checked suit, with very red hair and
freckled face, stood in the door and in
quired:
"Did l understand that you were
from the West2"
"Yes, sir"
"Way out west?"
"Yes, sir"
"Glad to meet you, sir. l wanted to
ask you about the Indians. They are
very savage, understand"
"WeD, yes"
"Delight in torturing their prisoners,
don't they?"
81 believe they do"
"Well, sir, let me state suppositious
case," drawled the young man. Sup
pose was walking across the prairies
out there, far from human habitationl"
"But you wouldn't be-"
''But suppose was"
"But it is not supposable case"
"NoI Why not, sir2"
"Because the minute you got outside
the dooryard jackass rabbit would
tumble you over and leave your dead
body for the coyotes. Oh, no. Moth
ing of your general appearance could
ever walk on a Montana prairie far
from habitationW
The young man swallowed at some
thing in his guIlet, tried hard to smile.
and withdrew with the observation
that he never could endure very much
tobacco smoke.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Another Wonderful Dog.

A man who drives a pretzel wagon
around town has a great curiosity and
patent advertisement in the shape of a
yellow dog. This dog is sort of
Scotch terrier, and he is wonderful
because he does not sit in the seat with
the driver, like ordinary dogs, but he
jumps on the horses back, runs up
toward his shoulders, and, with fore
feet on the horses collar, he rides
through the streets as though perfectly
at home in his strange position. the
horse trots along with a numbering
gait, which must be most uncomforta-
BILE to his canine passenger, but the
dog holds his "seat," sometimes on
three feet, sometimes on two, and sell
dom on all four. He seems to like it,
too, and appears to enjoy the wonder
ing stares and amused glances of peo-
pie who see him in his great feat for
the first time. The driver appears un-
conscious of the sensation his pet is
making, but all the same he enjoys it
as much as the dog does.-Chicago
World,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
VOL. XIV.
vALEDICToRY OF THE FUTURE.

Hail, fellow-sluggers, athletes all Hail,
sinew, bone and muscle!
The one equipment worth our care Ia HES
unnerving tussle.
Hail, running leap, and boxing bout, the
wrestling match and vaulting;
The tug-of-var, the flying ball-cartwheel
and somersaulting.
Upon the threshold we advance of large
achievements portal,
Where curves and kicks and bludSssu blows
E.Gke enterprise immortal.
'r.aS Of the mighty Sullivan; recall hs
record goryj
Ind then consider 50 may we slug on to
wealth and glory.
observe the sculler in his shell along the
river flying
he wild huzzas-the struggling hosts to do
him honor yieing.
and 10, the man behind the bat-where else
such chance giganticg
three-base hit-a double play-the people
mad and frantic!
'rains-to be sure, else life would be mo-
notonously lonely,
Sut brains to be the complement of brawp
and muscle only.
'or what's the good Of intellect when mus
Gle gets the credity
The geniuses are never known in all the
sheets they edit
But give supple man the gloves and he's in
rarest clover,
'or he can strike a blow that's heard this
sporting country over.
'rains, TO be sure-but sluggers haill Hail
sinew, bone and muscle!
best is modern man equipped for life's
unuerving tussle.
-Philadelphis Press.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
NOT READY YET.

St. Peter sat in his lodge by the gate
And idly jingled his keys,
For arrivals had been rather slack % late
And the good saint was taking his ease.
de had heard q footstep and turned around
And looked the intruder DER
a party who lately arrived on the groundl
Who stood with eyes fixed on the floor.
"What's the matter with you" st. Pete,
inquired,
Something seems your mind to embsrrsss
Perhaps those wings are not what you do
sired,
Or your robe is not cut Ia ParisF2
We'll, the fact is, you see, Pm a crank OF
base ball."
Meekly answered the newly-arrived tenan,
And 1 really would like to 60 back till next
fall,
To witness the race for the penpant."
-Terre Hsute Express
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
The Delegate Up Stairs,

One day when whole bus full OF
us drove up to hotel in Lynchburg,
Va, the landlord remembered that he
had drummer from New York who
had been suffering terribly with tooth
ache for two or three days. He had
tried every remedy known to man, ex-
eept that of having it pulled, but moth
ing had availed him. He said he
hoped some of US might be able to
saggest something, and slowly added:
"Gentlemen, have heard that
sudden shock to a mans nervous sys-
tenn would sometimes cure the worst
sase of toothache. Can't you plan
something?"
Six or eight of US got together in
the reading room, and it was finally
decided that man named Simms, who
turned out to be patent medicine ad-
vertiser, should go up to the room and
startle the New Yorker. He was to
do it by claiming to have seen de-
spatch to the effect that his wife had
run away with another man. We
thought that ought to cure his tooth
ache if anything would.
"How big man is he?" asked the
delegate when ready to go up.
"Oh, he's rather understood" re-
piled the landlord. "If he should get
up on his ear, you can easily slam him
all over the room"
The medicine man went up. We
followed, and stood at the door to hear
the result. He found the New Yorker
groaning like sick horse; and after
introducing himself, he said:
"Sorry for you, old fellow, particu
larly at this time, but 1 have bad news
Tor you"
"NoI" exclaimed the other, sitting
up in bed.
"Be calm, old boy. Its about youl
wife"
SIS she-she dead5"
"Better for you if she was. She's
ran away with street car conductor!"
There was a wild yell, followed by
several whoops, and crash. Then
the medicine man fell into the hall,
and wild figure dragged him up and
down, and moped him around, and
made bear fodder of him. 1t was five
minutes before we could get him of
and get his victim away. We carried
the latter into sample room, stretched
him out on the table, and had sponged
his face for the third time, when he
opened his eyes.
"How do you feel now2" asked one
of the boys.
"Queer. What's happened?"
ifYou went in to see the New
Yorker"
:'Oh, yes. He had the toothache.
iHe did, and you kindly consented
TO shock his mental system. 1t was 8
great success"
az cured it, did II"
"You did,"
But, great heavens! feel of me {;
look at me; keep on spongingl Pm
nothing but big splatter of jelly
Boys, if l die, and l hope 1 will, I'll
haunt every internal one of you day
and night until drive you to hang
yourselves with your own suspendersl" !"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
A Bishops Car.

The bishop of North Dakota is
having car built in which to make
his episcopal visitations. Spare beds
and accommodations for strangers are
so scarce in bis district that he finds it
necessary thus to initiate the actors and
find himself in bed and shelter. The
bishops travelling car is to be chapel
on wheels as well as an itinerant house
and he expects not only to hold SER
vices in it, but to have it the social
meeting place Of the more scattered
members Of hts aock.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Pulling POut,

G. H. Warner and G. NJ. Keach, OF
Gloucester, R. l., are mighty smart at
pulling in the queer horned fish called
pout. They work steadily at this in
dustry, and old "Bowditch" Pond is
the field of their endeavor. They have
taken from that lake this season just
21,576 pout and sold 1,400 pounds Of
the fish in that village alone. The rest
of the catch went to Providence They
are expert at catching plckerel through
the ice, too. Last year they took
I,200 fish, and had tons of fun besides
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04


hit it fell harmless.
Wien the bow of the steamer was
within cable length of the stern OF
the junk every native began to howl
and wall, and most of them threw
themselves PROSTATE on the decks.
White cloths were held up in token of
surrender, but in answer l rang the
bell for the engineer to pull her wide
open. He did so, and we seemed to
lift out of the water and be flung at
the doomed craft like missile. The
steamer struck her square in the stern,
crashed into her for ten or twelve feet,
and then the junk fell apart and be-
came a heap Of wreckage. which was
cast aside from either bow. l ran on
for quarter of mile and then turned.
Not living man was to be seen in
this last disaster. 1 ran over to the
other heap of wreckage and saw two
men still hanging on, but the sharks
pulled them under just as L rang to
stop our way. The steam was about
exhausted anyhow, and the time had
come for move against the pirates
On board.
Believing they were badly fright
med, l reloaded the revolvers and
stepped out on the deck with one in
either hand. The only man in sight
was the leader of the band, who stood
On the bows looking up at me. As
stepped out he said:
''Don't shoot me! We meant YOU
40 harm! We have thrown away onr
weapons!"
l went down to find them covering
n the passageways, every mans pluck
completely gone. The captain and
second mate were in the armory. let
them out, and then freed the engineer.
The four of us were the only white
men left alive. We collected the
prisoners In the mess room, held
short consultation, and then proceeded
to act. While remained among them
to check any new ambition, the cap
ain took his station at the forward
port gangway.
The engineer then led the pirates
put to the Captain one by one, and the
latter put bullet through each mans
head and pitched him forward into
the sea. II was retribution with
vengeance, and certain writers, who
were thousand miles from the scene
and underwent none of its perils, have
termed it "the massacre of the prison
ers." l went out with the last one.
Like all others who had preceded him,
ne went hurnbly to his death, not even
altering protest. When he had been
disposed of we turned to and prepared
The bodies of our dead for burial,
cleared the decks, and, by two of us
acting as stokers, we worked the
steamer up to Kiu-Siu.
For few weeks the natives kept
wonderfully quiet about the adventure,
but it then leaked out that about 1S0
lives had been lost in the attempt to
capture US. Had they got possession
Of the steamer it was their intention to
run her up to the head of the Yellow
Sea, and make use of her in their pir-
atical excursions from the coast of
Formosa. AS none of them under
stood how to navigate "the wingless
devil" as they called her, it is likely
that she would have been blown up
within an hour or two after they got
charge. She was in the trade and on
the same line for the next five years,
and every native craft would turn tail
At the sight Of her five miles away.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Rird Seed.

Bird seed forms considerable item
IN the export trade of some of the
Moorish ports. Thus from Laraichs
last year in total export valued at
f6o,791 the bird seed exported was
valued at 1870, and the quantity was
S,457 quarters. In 1887 the quantity
was 4,01s, and the value fs,4l4.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Pirates Again,

The Tonquin pirates, whom the
French thought they had. AZ one time,
completely suppressed, have reap
peared again, and are striking terror
among the merchant shippers. The
government will send feet sufficient
to hunt them down, and to annihilate
them completely.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04

A woman who wanted an office from
Secretary Noble recently sent him a
pincushion and two perfume bottles.
They were returned to her. Exterior
influences do not affect the Secretary
OF the Interior.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
Can Find Stock Enough.

A young lady of Columbus, Gs.,
has made a crazy quilt out of Louisiana
state lottery tickets that failed to "con-
meet" with the prize wheel. The num-
bers are worked in silk of beautiful
colors.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04

Mother-"To think that my little
ethel should have spoken so imperti-
nently to papa to-day at dinnerl She
never hears me talk in that way to
him" Ethel (stoutly)--"Well, but
you choosed him, and l didn't
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04

Whoever would do good in the world
ought not to deal in censure. We ought
not destroy, but rather construct,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-02-04
FUN.

1he sentence "Ien dollars or thirty
days" is another proof of the truth of
the adage that time is money.-Pitts-
burgh Chronicle.
A man doesn't look at salary as he
does at wheelbarrow. He thinks it
ought to be drawn in sdvance.-Bur-
lington Free Press.
at will be better for me in the long
Iun," remarked the cashier, as he
bumped himself for the Dominion
Kearney Enterprise.
A conveyance of real estate signed
on Sunday is not legal, and yet we
were always taught to believe that "the
better the day, the better the deed."-.
Yonkers Statesman.
Waiter-Whst's your order, sir2
Gentleman - One patent-leather
lunch.
Waiter calling Piece of apple
pie and two lemon-cookies.-
what? Is the Widow Brown going
to be led to the altar for the third
timer"
"No, / guess not. She ought to be
able to find her way there herself by
this time" e."-Fliegende Blatter.
Master Tommy was strutting about,
very proud of his first pair of pants.
"And now," remarked member of
he family, ''you're quite man."
"Yes," added the youngster, "'ana
can swear just like pa."-Judge.
Americsn-I am acquainted with
two men who own diamond studs.
Englishman-'Oly Mosesl Some Eng
lish gentlemen ave very Inexpensive
stables, but hi never knew such hex
trayagance has that. - Jewellers
Weekly.
Smith-Well, Jones, how are you
getting on, old fellow?
Jones-Poorly; lost $50, 900 yester.
day.
"How was that?"
"By fire. Maris's father fired me" "
Minneapolis Times.
Mrs. Beaumonde-Phew, what q
charge! Why, Mrs. Jaw, the famous
human charges me $50 for whistling
at my reception.
Mr.. Beaumonde-Oh well, sou cam
expect to have canary without a bill
-Munsey's Weekly.
'I noticed Mrs. Browns little gir'
pick nice apple out of the barre
while she was here with her mother,
said Mrs. Troubleraiser to the grocer
81 don't see how some people cal
bring their children up so. You must
lose a great deal daily by this petty
pilfering."
"Not at all, ma'sm," replied the
grocer. al saw her take the apple
and charged her mother for quart"
--Harper's Bazar.
In small town in Baden a minister
closed his sermon the other day with
these words:
"We would be pleased, moreover, tc
nave the young man who is now stand,
ing outside the door come in and make
certain whether she is here or not
That would be a great deal better thar
opening the door half an inch and ex.
posing the people in the last row OF
seats to draught. ."-Frankfurter lei,
tuna.
The Mormon men are innocent
enough. They would never have more
than one wife apiece if it were not fol
the women.-New Orleans Picayune
Smithers-When / make a promise
and fail to keep it, it worries me eve'
hlltTWhTu.
Withers-Well, l made promise
once and kept 1t, and it's been worry
ing me ever since.
Smithers-What was it?
Withers-To marry the woman whG
is my wife.-Munsey's Weekly.
"See this coat?" he querried, as b,
entered a Michigan avenue clothing
store yesterday.
eyes, see dot coat. Vhss some
tings wrongf"
II should remark See how it il
all shrunk up"
81 see. How did she conner"
al got caught out in the rain"
"Oxactly. Did l sell you dot co@i
for waterproof"
q. - - s,l
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1891-03-13

Thsiaborers In the pulp mills at Oregon
City have learned the lesson Of the beauties of
proicctionism. Pulp is an article that has re-
ceived the fostering care Of the government by
way Of protection. When the scheue Of pro-
lection reached its climax in the passage ofthe
Mckinley bill, the duty on pulp was raised
from topper cent 10 rSH pea cent. This was
done in orde. that our laborets might receive
good wages. Aad what do we see. TIL
pulp manufacturers at Oregon City have re
daosd the wages Of their sborers about IaH
per cent. It is the same old story. Higi
wages before election when votes are needed
Low wages after elections when large profit
are needed to meet the contributions Of tn
next campaign. How much longe- are men i
be thus deceived by the bene6ciaries Of th
robber tariff. But the campaign Of educstiol
is steadily doing its work.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1891-03-13
NO A,gRIcAN SEED arrLY@

An American who has resided in Lon
don for the past year and engaged In sup
plying rolling stock from the United States
10 nauy oi the European countries, recent
lY wrote soliciting orders In the Transyaal
from railway irst built there.
He received The following significant
response; "rhe agent and manager Of the
South African Railway company begs 20
inform you that orders for material, etc,
are given exclusively 10 the Dutch ard
German manufacturers for the reason
that America does not deserves them or
deserve 10 be favored IN any commercial
way after indorsing the Mckinley tariff .
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1891-03-13
BAD roE THE McKiSLEY RfLf.

A decision was rendered In the United
States district court at Chicago TUESDAY
which will attract general attention, not
on account Of the pro forina disposition
made Of tho case but for the expression Of
opinion by the court In direct contradiction
10 that disposition The case was that Of
Marshall Field * Co. against the collector
OF customs and involved lhe constitution
atty Of the Mckinley tariff law. IL It's
general character the Chicago sult was
similar 70 those entered III New York,
philadeipbia, st Louis and other places,
all Of them for the recovery Of duties ex-
acted under the new tariff 10 excess Of the
duties imposed by ibe tariff OF 1888.
The ground q each Of those suits is that
the Mckinley Iaw Is nulity OF account
OF not being constItutionaily enacted.
There are three or four specification, but
that chiefly relied upon Is that the biii
signed by The president did not pass the
house and senate IN the form signed By bIm
and therefore is OF no force or value. When
the question WAS first brought To the at
tension Of the board of appraisers n New
Yofk,sorne members Of that body held the
objection to be well founded, but II was
decided to uphold the validity OF The Law
and let the importers carry the matter TO
the supreme court II they saw &c.
Judge BIodgett, In giving his decision
yesterday IN the Chicago case. said he was
much impressed with The chain Of reason
Ing advanced BY The appellant and |, might
be difficult for The argument to be met py
the other side, but in view Of tie serious
embarrassment that would follow a differ
ent line OF action the Court would folio.
the coune Of the board of appraisers IN
New York ard uphold the validity Of
the law for the purpose Of facilitating
final decision by the supreme coust.
Technically the government won the
suit In Chicago, but the court let !, be dis
,inctly understood that the case Of the
government was bad one. Had II been
finai decision, instead of merely formal
one for the sake OF permitting an appeal
to the supreme court, Il Is evident that the
Mckinley tariff Law wouI1 have been de-
clared unconstitutional and aiI the work
would have to be ,ione over again. or left
nndone. Judge Blodgeti, It may be well to
remember 10 this connection, Is repub-
iican, sat as republican In both houses OF
the Illinois legislature. and was appointed
% arepublicaa 10 tbs Urited States ST.
p,eme court by President GRAFT Ia 1870
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1891-03-13

Mr. NcKinly cites Italy, Spain, Mexico.
South America, Austria Hungary and
Russia as among the countries that share the
blessings Of ''pEolec,ion" in common with The
United States. But the author Of the tariff s.
overwhelmingly condemned by the voters o
this country last year very prudsn,ly rsirained
from referring to the condition Of the labotini
classes In those foreign countries, or from con
ssas,iag their wages with those paid inEngland
Neither did he mentlon the fact that none o
the other manufacturing countries maintain
tax upoa raw ma.e.iais or have an ayerag
duty Of so per cent upon schedules containing
thousands of articles. Mr McKinly is discreet