The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-10-30
sUNFLowER snHouRrrEs.

Some men have been waiting whole
year to get a good rest for Tuesday >
| labor.
Biddle, the new Alliance president, is a
devout Methodist, has family prayers and
says grace.
Mrs. Mettman's ghost still stalks at
Leavenworth, and, wonderful to say, it
does it on one leg.
McGrath charges anarchy in his re-
marks on the Alliance. Mrs. Lease
charges SIS, and Simpson $50.
Frank McGrath is right. The Alliance
is dropping of. 1t contracted the habit
from listening to Peffer's drowsy speeches.
John J. ingalls, made a Republican
speech at Cleveland, o., Tuesday night,
and he did not get any Democratic cham
payne.
1t was sure to come. The sensible men
in the Alliance are getting disguised. The
farmers have begun to kick on the
kickers.
The Alliance will come back to the Re
publican party eventually. 1t may take a
little time but every time they retire one
of their officers it counts.
The people of Kansas are awakening to
the fact that they have been gulled to the
last notch by snide theatrical troupes.
They are learning TO stay away.
A great many Kansas men have lately
hit upon plan of getting their names in
the paper. They withdraw from the ALI
ance and intimate the fact to Republican
paper.
II will try to make myself little plain
err" PETER said in one of his speeches; and
drunken rascal on the front seat who
had been studying the homely face OF the
tall senator yelled, "Egad, don't see how
it's possible"
Fred Collier in Topeka Journal: 1t is
proposed to offer a reward to newspaper
paragrapher who will forbear for six
months from starting paragraph with
Now that" Some people, 1.-THE chances
are" or Since"
Will White heralds the coming Of new
literary society in Kansas "The Authors
Club" which is very exclusive. Some
man will immortalize himself some day
by organizing club in Kansas which is
composed of everyday plug writers.
Bingle-"You don't mean to say that
good-for nothing Jones is going to work."
Jingle-"So Pve heard"
Bingle-''At last! and where, for good
ness sake, is he going to work."
Jingle-"At the polls"
The brigadier general is not a slow
Polk He got out of the state of Kansas
with great rapidity.
1t was in grocery store and the crowd
was discussing arches and their stability.
Nothing can beat an arch for strength"
said an old man. ''Why. 1 tell you what 1
can do. can set an egg shell on this floor
in such way that the biggest man here
can't crush it with this here half-bushel
measure Pm sitting on"
An incredulous murmur went through
the crowd, and one young fellow who had
studied under civil engineer wasn't to be
bluffed.
'I'd like to bet you can crush it." he
spoke up
Crush it with this here measured"
Eyes, sir.''
'Put up your dollar"
MAKE it two?" said the anxious young
man.
NO. l don't want to take advantage OF
you," said the old man, as de took the half
an egg shell and set it on the floor in the
extreme corner of the room. "Blaze
away. You're dandy if you can get a
round measure in a square corner"
Excuse me-" said travelling farmer in
a linen buster TO tall stranger who had
been talking in a very high, loud voice,
"but believe we are in the same bust
ness"
''Eh?" said the loud-mouthed man in
surprise.
Don't you recognize this sign?" asked
the linen buster man, putting his hand to
his collar button.
mo, sir, 1 don't" cried the tall man
oudly
"You don't mean to tell me you don't
belong to the Alliance"
mo- sir, am not a member"
''Not lecturer, even?"
''No, sir" And the tall man tomahawk-
ed the air with his voice.
You're not an Alliance orator? You
surprise me-"
its fact just the same"
''Well, I'll be darned," said the linen
buster man. Il have travelled all over the
United States, and l never mistook an
Alliance orator before You amt foOlin',
are you"
No You're not the first man to make
that mistake said the loud man. Il
live with my father and mother and they
are both as deaf as posts. 1t always did
make me raise my voice little"
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