davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

THE centipede doesn't know what ruin Is;
he has never yet been On his last legs
BinghamtOn Republican.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09
DRiGkLy Ash
I BITTERS

One Of the most important organs Of the
human body is the LIVER. When il fails to
properly perform lis functions the entire
system becomes deranged. The BRAIN,
KIDNEYS, STOMACH, BOWELS, all refuse
10 perform their work. DYSPEPSIA, CON-
sTlPATI0N, RHEUMATISM, KIDNEY DIS
EASE, ETC., are the results, unless some
thing is done 10 assist aa.rFe in throwing
of the impurities caused by the inaction
OF a TORPID LIVER. This assistance 50
necessary will be found in
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

Nj friend. look here, you know how weak
and nervous your wife is, and you know that
Carter's Iron Pills viii relieve her. Now
why not be fair about il aud buy her n boxl
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

THE tugboat and tie c~hiropOdlst are nj
ways looking after tOws-Boston Bulletin.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

THE turf will hardly lose its popularity a
race Is so much I matter Of course.-St
Joseph News.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

II IS nc longer necessary Ia take blue pills
To rouse the liver Ia action. Carriers Little
LiverPIllsa are much better. Don I forget this.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

dow Is your boy getting along at iiar
vard:H First rate. He writes me that Gt
goes 10 Boston every night TO study the
stars "-Buston Gazette.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

WISE medical men do not treat somnam-
bulism As q pillow ca e-Bnstun Courier.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

mo" SAID the Boston girl, II can't say
that I enjoy thunderstorms They are such
loud, f1ashy things."-Brooklyn Eagel.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

EVEN vinegar has 10 work to be worth
anythIng.-PIttshurgh Dispatch.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

M DpdHm in Pisu's cure for consumption
Cures where other remedies fail -.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09

a hedyy bur1en
all the ills and ailments that only
female flesh is heir to. 1t rests with
you whether you carry it or lay it
down. You can cure the disorders
and arrangements that prey. upon
your sex, with DR.. Pierce's Favor
tie Prescription. It's a Legitimate
medicine, carefully compounded by
an experienced physician, and
adapted to woman's delicate organ
ization.
For all organic displacements and
weaknesses, accompanied by weak
back, bearing-down sensations, and
for all uterine diseases, it's a posi-.
tive specific. It's guaranteed to
give satisfaction, in every case.
If it doesn't, you've only to ask
for your money and it's chcerfully
refunded. If it does, you'll want
to ask for nothing more. It's
the cheapest medicine you can use,
because you only pay for the good
you get. 1t improves digestion,
enriches the blood, invigorates
the system, and produces refresh
ing sleep.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09
A RTaWnv Barree at the Helm.

srner;cnse the yalue Of a Fish Brand Slicker."
1t is his sole article Of dress, and to him worth
drawers, shit, coat, vest, and pants. He'll tel
YOU tales by the hour of storms lasting days and
nights when that "SEcker made up the wneIe
adherence between comfort and misery; and all for
a nere irife from his weeks pay. Why don't
YOU buy one for yourself. To realize how little 1t
costs, think how long i, lasts. Il Will outwe1r
four suits OF clothes. Better get one to-day, be-
fore YOU forget it. Aday's delay may cause a
mo,,h Of sickness, and cost a hundred times the
price of a Siicker. Beware of worthless limitations,
every carmen; stamped with the Fish Brand"
Trade Marx. Don't accept any inferior coat "nen
YOU can have the Fish Brand Sicker" delivered
x;,hau. .xtrz cost. PARTICULARS and illustrated cat
a!ogne free.
4, J. TOWER, Boston, Mass.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-05-09
the
Weak Strong

The way in which Hoods sarsaparilla builds up
people in run down or weakened state of health,
cnnclusively proves the claim that this medicine
makes the weak strong" IL does not act like Q
stImulant. imparting fictitious strength from which
there must follow Il reaction of greater weakness
than before, but in the most natural way Hoods
sarsaparilla oyercomes that tired feeling. creates
m appetite, purihes the bio d. and in short, gives
great bodily, nerve, mental and digestive strength.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
LAPoRTE Pa FRIDAY, JANUARY g. 1891
A Matter Of Porcine Identity.

Two or three lawyers were talking OF
old lawsuits the other day, when one OF
the oldest members of the Indianapolis
bar remarked: ssI remember the Perry
township pig case that took up good
part of one term of court, having come
up through Justices Office. The case
was tried, I believe, by Governor Wal
lace, father of our Postmaster, and there
were at least two firms of lawyers on
each side. Sims Colley and Thomas
Walpole were in the case, and, SO far as
Mr. Colley was concerned, he was then
in the full power of his renown. The
case gave him full opportunity for the
display of his picturesque genius, and
the drolleries he infused into it long fur
nished matter of laughter for the bar.
Mr. Colley, however, no matter how abb
surdly droll he might become, never lost
sight of the best interests of his client,
and certainly never lost sight of his own
in the shape of as fat fee as it was pos
sible to obtain.
.The question was about the identity
of shoat," continued the lawyer. "The
witnesses on one side swore it was pig
in barnyard, and had never been out
until it had been put into pen, from
which it was taken to be slaughtered.
The witnesses on the other side swore
that they had known it from the time it
was sucking. But the great point was
the proof of an ear mark. One claim
ant, sustained by one set of witnesses,
said he marked an ear Of the shoat with
his pocket knife, and the cut was ex-
planned at great length to the jury. The
other CLAIMANT said the mark on the
ear of his shoat was torn by the teeth of
a dog. 1t was at this stage of the testi-
mony that sensational feature was in
troduced. One witness, having brought
his>testimony to an exciting point, added
climax by pulling from his pocket a
picked pigs ear, which he declared to
be the ear of the shoat in question. This
created a great uproar in the court room,
as the effect of this pictorial testimony
upon the jury could not be measured.
This with the ear was, however, measur
ably discredited, and the case went on.
Medical experts were called in to testify
as to what the difference in appearance
would be between shoat's ear cut witt
knife and one torn by the teeth of
dog. The experts did not agree, and t :
jury disagreed, and another trial was
held, the second jury disagreeing as the
first had done. Charges of perjury were
made on each side, and number of as
sault and battery cases grew out of it.
The costs of litigation were between $400
and $500 on each side"
"What was the shoat worth?"
"About $I.50; but the litigants were
fighting for principle. ."-Indianapolis
Journal.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
How a Diamond Was Stolen.

It is natural that articles of great
value are objects of temptation. We are
prepared to understand that the common
thief is constantly scheming to gain
possession of precious stones and
jewelry, but it is matter of surprise to
learn, through stories that come across
the ocean, of the tricks indulged in
there by the diamond trade--the legiti-
mate, everyday dealers in precious
stones. The popularity of this condi-
ton of things is that the sharp practice
of dealers does not involve their repu-
tation or standing, the thing being
looked at as matter of shrcwdness and
rather admired as clever piece of busi-
ness. An anecdote is related to illus
trate this.
A dealer called upon firm with whom
he was in the habit of transacting busi-
ness and asked to see lot of diamonds.
After examining them for some time he
returned the paper, saying he would call
again in reference to buying them. 1t
was at once noticed that a large
stone was missing. A hasty
search was made, but no trace OF
the diamond being discovered,
the dealer, without more ado, was ac-
cused of having taken the brilliant. He
Indignantly denied the charge. and SUBJ
mitted without hesitation to being
searched.
The stone was not found, aud profuse
apologies were offered for the false ac-
cusation. The following day the dealer
appeared again, this time with paper
of diamonds to sell, but also with an
other object in view, which he took good
care not to disclose. A careful observer
might have noticed that while the stones
were being examined at the light he ran
his fingers along the under surface of the
portion of the counter near which he sat
and picked off something that stuck to
the wood. 1t was nothing more nor less
than the diamond which had so mysteri-
ously disappeared the day before. He
had fastened it to the counter by means
of piece of wax with which he had pro-
vided himself, and on the occasion of his
second visit secured his booty.-Je1elers'
Weekly.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
CObMeb Parties.

A lady yesterday showed me an in
vitation to attend s'cobweb party" l
was curious to know what sort of party
that was.
"a central point in house is selected"
/ was informed, ''say the chandelier in
the front parlor, and to this number of
strings are attached, according to the
number of guests who have been invited
to take part in the game. There may
be twenty-five or fifty, or even more.
Then these strings are twined about
chairs, around table legs, through key
holes, downstairs into the dining room,
out to the kitchen, upstairs again, into
the bedroom, and, in fact, all over the
house. These strings make the cobweb.
At the end of each is prize, which acts
as a stimulant to the guests, to each
of whom a string is assigned, to follow
his or her thread to its termination
through its many devious and provoking
intertwinings. In Chicago the cobweb
party has become SO popular that men
are employed to prepare houses when one
is announced, and it sometimes takes
three days to get large house ready.
When the guests get to following up the
strings there is plenty of fun, as they
meet in all parts of the house, cross and
recross each others paths, get their feet
tangled up in threads and have great
many experiences"
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

Albert H. Smith, the New York stock
broker who committed seventy forgeries
and caused his firm to lose $3.50, 600, is
said to be very nice man, sarcastically
observes the Atlanta Constitution. When
he was caught he confessed, and said
that he wanted to be punished. He
will undoubtedly have his wish. 1t is
all very we'll to let common thief 90
with light sentence, but these nice,
high-toned and moral fellows who swim
die their friends out of a cold quarter of
a million should, the Constitution AYERS,
be made to suffer. Mr.. Smith should be
locked up for generation or SO.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

Florence Blythe, aged sixteen, of Sau
Francisco, who lately came by way of
the very toughest kind of litigation into
an estate worth nearly 81, 900, 900, has
asked the court for an allowance of
$1,000 month, or in all about sos, 900,
dating from her fathers death in April,
1883. The girl pleaded that she needs
about $1,000 month for her mainte-
nance and education. The court finally
allowed her back allowance of $500 a
month, or about $50, 900, and a future
allowance of $500. This disposition of
the girls fortune gives lawyers chance,
opines the New Orleans Picayune. 1t will
not all be squandered on the owner.
Large fees can be covered.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

A New Yorker, cited by the Atlanta
Constitution, objects to church steeples.
He says that the money wasted on them
amounts to many millions of dollars, and
should be devoted to missionary work
at home and abroad. 1t is hard to de-
eide where to draw the line. eff steeples
are to co." suggests the Constitution,
''why not require all churches to be con-
structed in the cheapest and simplest
style2"
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

The German schools are to be made
the means of educating young children
to belief in the paternal care of the EN-
peror, with the inculcation also of the
folly and danger of socialism. 1t is
doubtful whether much headway will be
made in this scheme, for the very essence
of contemporary life and thought is
against all hereditary authority aud
against the burdening of the people with
war debts contracted to feed the am
bition or maintain the throne of ruler
by divine right.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
SONG.

Strike me note Of sweet degrees
OF sweet degrees
Like those in Jewry heard of old;
My love, if thou wouldst wholly please,
Hold in thy hand harp of gold,
And touch the strings with fingers light
And yet with strength as David might
As David might.
Linger not long in songs of love-
In songs Of love;
No serenades nor wanton airs
The deeper soul of music move;
Only a solemn measure bears
With rapture that shall never cease
My spirit to the gates of peace
The gates of peace.
So feel when Francesca sings
Francesca sing
My thoughts mount upward; am dead
To every sense of vulgar things,
And on celestial highways tread
With profits of the olden time,
Those minstrel kings, the men sublime
The men sublime.
Thomas W. Parsons in Atlantic Monthly
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
Equine Epitomes.

The smallest horses in the world are a
breed of maneless ponies which are kept
for pets in the province of Se-Chuen,
Southern China, and if full grown are
not much larger than stout billy-goat.
Several specimens of the little creatures
were brought to France by the officers Of
the Tonquin expedition, but they are very
sensitive to frost and did not thrive
north of Marseilles.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

"Twelve months ago." soliloquizes the
Chicago Times, "the German Govern.
ment-a mighty powerful corporation
undertook to abolish the Socialist party.
AS result of persecution, where there
was one Socialist at the outset, there are
now ten. The party has become so
strong that the Government has been
obliged to recognize it as political elc-
ment too powerful for repression.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t is an odd thing that as wit grows
thin it becomes heavier.-Lye.
Sim stuck on you," remarked the pin
to the scarf Washington Star.
A mute monarch is like hisAempire-A
King dumb.-Neao York Journal.
An Office holder has to define his posi-
ton occasionally, in order to keep it.
Teras Siftings.
An expert forger can generally raise
ten dollars if you give him time enough.
st. Joseph News.
Judging from its floating population,
Venice ought to be the largest city in the
Chicago Mail.
Lovers are so light hearted they can
read others thoughts with the gas turned
very low Chicago Post.
If you we're to take the conceit out of
some people, the remains would defy
identitication.-St. Joseph Neaos.
Harry--"Everybody loves a lover,
don't they, darling9" Darling Jealous
lN-"I hope not, Harry. > Washington
Star.
W.ey-sHave you still unkind
tb, .ghts of that old rival of yours?"
Z. 4bby-"Yes, hate him because you
lted him. Life.
4 1t is natural that there should be fewer
women writers than men. Most ladies
would prefer to appear in silk rather
than print. Puck.
ga California woman waited sixteen
years to marry millionaire" "Glad to
hear it. She will certainly be worth her
wait in gold. Light.
Hungry Little Ragamuffin-"Please
gimme ginger snap" Pompous Baker
"a Pharisee)-''No, sir, never give
snap away. ."-Boston Post.
De Mascus-"Didy you hear that Wings
had jumped his hotel bill9" st. Age
dore-'tNo, never knew he was bal
loonist. ."-S. Joseph Ne'os.
The youth with sorrow wrinkled brow
Is heard to sigh,
'The days grow greatly shorter now,
Washington Post.
"Did you ever hear of such thinga
Begumb says, in his new house he's going
to have his attic in the cellar" "Oh,
that story won't go wn."-Puck.
Mrs. Gazzam Ito Sadie Bloobumper)-
"Where's your mamma, Sadie9" Sadie
''She went over to Mrs. Gargoyle's two
hours ago to stay five minutes. ."-Ne,o
York Sun.
"AI things you'll find to have their sunny
sde,'
Quoth Witticus to Cynicus. "a rumor."
The latter said, ''that I've always denied,
And instanced as proof of it your humor."
-NetU York Sun.
A Bangor evening paper gravely informs
its readers that quantity of fresh mack
erel was caught Saturday just off Port
land harbor. As the catch of salt mackerel
has been small this season it is gratifying
to learn that the fresh fish have made
their appearance in Maine waters.-Ban.
gor Ne,os.
Yabsley-''Professor Potterby is a
little the most absent-minded man ever
heard of. He actually met his wife down
town the other night and did not know
her at ALL" Wickwire-"I don't know
whether that was absent -mindedness or
not. A woman looks heap different
down town from what she does at home"
-Iadianapolis Journal.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
THE BROKEN HARP.

/ sang with more than childish joy.
In boyhood's sunny days;
/ sang again in joyous mood,
When love inspired my lays.
I sang again in manhood's years.
1 sang for poets bays.
With eager hand I tuned my harp,
To sing rare, sweet strain;
The worlds wild discord shook my hand--
Oh, deep my grief and pain!
1t broke the harp loved so we'll
I ne'er may sing again.
And so drift with idle hands
Upon the tide of time,
Hopes star has set; my soul is dead.
Farewell sweet, mystic rhyme!
Tm weary of earth's battle field,
Tho scarce in manhood's prime.
West Shore.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

A prominent railroad official reports
that, beginning with next summer, all
German Government railroads which are
much used by tourists will be provided
with carriages of American pattern. This
is due, states the Chicago Times, to the
Empcror's personal intervention in favor
of Uncle Sans superior institutions.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
The Trenton IN. W american is c.

Ine Trenton On. 7 Ameflcdh IS con-
vinced that "in Canada capital punish
ment has its terrors because of the GER
tainty and speed with which it follows
capital offences. In the United States it
is generally SO managed that before a
murderer is hung about half the people
come to look upon him as a victim of
blood. thirsty law, and deserving of deep
sympathy"
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
The Most Rapid Travelling.

The following is the record of the
fastest mile single man has thus far
travelled by various methods of locomo-
ton: Swimming, 26.32; walking, 6.23; !;
snow shoes, $500; rowing, SOL; run
ming, 4121; tricycle., 2.49 2-5; bicycle,
2.25 4-5; skating, 2.12 3-5; trotting
horse, 2.0S2; running horse, 1892 rail
road train, 40l seconds.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

The difficulties under which an inven-
tor of limited means pursues his calling
will be appreciated, insists the Electrical
Repiew, when it is stated that the model
for piece of apparatus which can be
built for So sometimes costs 5000.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

Greatly" CALCULATES the New York
San, eff consumption under Kock is to
follow the course of rabies under Pas
teur and smallpox under Jenner, pos
terity will have on its hands the ques-
tion, What to do with our old folks
meaning u.s."
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

visitor-'sIsn't your mother afraid,
Willie, of catching cold in those slip.
pers9" Willie--''Huh, guess you don't
know them slippers! Ma uses them to
warm the whole family with. .''-dmers-
caR Grocer.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

Professor Ito students) )-"Smoke away
gentlemen, it does not annoy me in the
east. look on tobacco in the same
light as hay. don't eat it myself, but
like to see others enjoy it.-Sterne uad
Blunssa.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

The German Government has been
brought face to face with the necessity
of pensioning poor families whose
natural protectors have been forced into
the army.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09
!! A writer in French journal states
that there are now in the six New Eng
land States 302, 500 French Canadians.

It is estimated that there are about
eight thousand milk producers who ship
their product to New York City and
Brooklyn.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

4 short sentence-Lend rae dollar.
Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-01-09

the army
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-11-22

spoke, raising his eyes tG the bare rafters
ABOVE, and drawing a few long breaths, as
II he were inhaling the aura of some I'M
seen presence. He appeared so perfectly
gratihed and contented, and l was so i'm
pressed with this humble and silent abb
sorption of the sacred interior, that felt
vaguely conscious that any interruption of
1t was PROCLAMATION, and | sat still gazing
at the dying ire. Presently he arose,
stretched out his hand, shook mine
warmly, said. II reckon I'll meander
along" took another long breath, this time
secretly, as II conscious of my eyes, and
then slouched sidewise out of the house
INTO the darkness again. where he seemed
suddenly to attain his full height, and so
looming disappeared. i shut the door,
went to bed and slept soundly.
SO soundly that when | awoke the sun
was streaming on my bed from the open
door. On the table before me my break
fast was already laid. When had dressed
and eaten it, struck by the silence, l went
to the door and looked out, "Dolphus"
was holding Chu Chu by the RATA few
PAGES from the cabin.
Where's Caroline ?" / asked.
He pointed to the woods and said: "Over
yon; keeping tally"
did she leave any message?"
said | was to git your mule for YOU"
Anything else?"
Yes; said you was to CO."
1 went. but not until 1 had scrawled
few words of thanks on a leaf of my note
book, which | wrapped about my last
Spanish dollar, addressed it TO Miss John
son." and laid it upon the table.
1t was more than year later than that
in the barroom of the Mariposas hotel
hand was laid upon my sleeve. i looked
up. 1t was Johnson.
He drew from his pocket Spanish dol
lar. II reckoned," he said, cheerfully,
I'D run again We somewhere some time
Ny old woman told me TO give We that
when l did, and say that she didn't keep
no hotel But she allowed she'd keep the
letter, and has spelled it out to the
children"
Here was the opportunity / had longed
for to touch Johnson's pride and affection
in the brave but unprotected girl. II
want to talk to you about Miss Johnson"
l said, eagerly.
Il reckon so, he said, with an exasper-
ating smile. Most fellers do But she
amt Miss Johnson no more. She's mar
ried"
"Not to that big chap over there from
Ten Mile Mills2" l said, breathlessly.
What's the matter with him?" said
Johnson. Eye didn't expect her to marry
a nobleman, did YEP"
| said didn't see why she shouldn't
and believed that she had.