The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-09-10
M,sWAT,s APPLES.
He Tries His Hand at Buying Them, but
Alasl

Ing.
"Any particular kind, Billiger?" in
quired Mrs. McSwat.
81 want good apples of course. AL
most any kind will do except the Ben
Davis. The Ben Davis APPLE" he said,
with the emphasis Of a man who felt
deeply on the subject, "is utterly worth
less. 1t looks nice enough, but it is
wooden, tough and tasteless, Wouldn't
give one respectable crabapple for whole
orchard of Ben Davises."
"Pll be careful" promised Mrs. Nc
Swat, and her husband went away.
When he returned in the afternoon she
reported that she had found some very
nice apples at the grocer's.
"What kind are they" he asked
"The grocer didn't know, but he said
they were the best in the market"
"Did you ask him if they were Ben
Davises"
"Why, no. I couldn't think of the
name. But was particular to ask him
if they were good"
"Let me see them"
The apples were produced.
"Just as I expected, Lobelia," he said,
as soon as he saw them. "There are
more Ben Davises in the market now
than any other kind, and they've worked
lot of 'em off on you, Hew many have
you got here?"
"Only half bushel"
"Only half bushel Sink your teeth
in that one, madam"
"It doesn't seem very good, that's a
fact" admitted Mrs. McSwat after tast-
ing it.
"They'l have to go back. That's all
there is about it."
81 can't send them back, Billiger.
didn't take them on trial"
''Then empty them in the alley"
81 shall not do that either They will
cook all right"
"Then keep them by themselves. lam
going to the market myself, Mrs Nc
Swat, and I'll see if anybody puts lot
of cork apples off on me, by jocks!"
A few minutes later Mr.. McSwat, with
a basket on his arm, entered grocery
store few blocks away.
"Have you any good applesT he in
quired.
"We have, sir" promptly answered
the grocer.
"What kind are they?"
missouri redstreaks."
"Where are they?"
"In this barrel"
"They look like the Ben Davis"
81 bought them for Missouri red
streaks, They are all selected apples
There isn't bad one in the lot"
"Fd like to taste one."
"We don't allow that Apples are
apples now They're worth about five
cents apiece"
"Give me half peck"
"That'l be fifty cents"
GAIL right"
The apples were put in paper sack
deposited in the basket, paid for and Mr.
McSwat went home.
In the privacy of his own home Mr.
McSwat proceeded shortly afterward tx
open the sack of apples.
"Don't get them mixed, Lobelia," hi
said magisterially. "These are Missouri
redstreaks.
II can't see any difference, Billiger
They both look like Ben Davis apples.
"That's all you know about apples,
he retorted. Cast your eye on this one
Ever see nicer specimen?"
He took bite of it, threw the appl
under the table and tried another.
eff these are Missouri redstreaks," h
said, as the second one followed the frs
and struck the floor somewhat harder
81 don't want any more of them"
"Billiger," announced Mrs. McSwat
who had been making some investiga
lions on her own account, there isn't
particle of difference between these ant
the apples got this morning. Wer
.. you careful to ask the grocer whethe
they were Benz
"You think you're smart, don't you"
"You don't let any grocer work off
lot of cork apples on you, by jocks"
81 reckon they'll cook, won't they?" h
retorted, "same as the others?"
, Eyes, but they'll have to be kept ser
arate, you know" rejoined Mrs. No
Swat sweetly. 81 don't think they ar
quite as good as"-
MIR. McSwat arose in his wrath. H
. emptied those two sacks of apples int
, the basket, carried the gorgeous fru.
f out to the alley, poured it into the slo
. barrel, and made his way by devior
8 route to grocery store on anotht
( block.
"Got any apples"
! "Yes."
a "What kind?"
4 Missouri
= missouri be hangedn bawled Mr.. M
Swat, with blood in his eye.
eyes, sir" answered the frightene
= clerk
"Look here, young mani" demande
Mr.. McSwat. "Have you got any gel
3 uine Missouri applesF"
= "Y-yes, SIR"
"What do you call them?"
"Some of ems pippins and some
! ems redstreaks and some hain't got al
. name, They're just apples, you know
q "What do you call your best Nilsson
g apples2 Your very best, recollect."
IF sour best Missouri apples, sir, a
1t called the Ben Da"-