davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-10-31
Carson Water Works.

TUyHE REaERyOIRA OF Il.
Il Company al g supplied with water
from Never Failing Springs, which dow
from the Sierra Nevada By analysis
thiswater is shown to be perfectly free
company having been laid in all the
principal streets of the city, Il Wsie
rendered available to all with In tue
city limits. Families, Hotels,
stables, etc. supplied on favora d
tcrms.
CARSON WATER COMPANY.
Once one bloc we st Of Mint.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-10-31
WE GUARANSEE SIX BOXS

To cure any case With each order re-
ceived by us for six boxes, accDmpan-
led with $500, will send the purs haSer
our written guarantee TO refund the
m onep If the treatment does not effecf a
cure. Guarantees issued only by w. Ii.
CHEDIC. Sole AGENT. Carson City, New
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-10-31
Fine = HairCutting
HEENT oF THE UNITED

NEENT OF THE UNIFIED
ANk states, Superintendent's Oifice,
Carson CITY, Nevada, May lltn, 1891.
SEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE
received by the undersigned until Il
O'Clock noon on the 30th, day OF June,
1891, for furnishing such supplies as
may be required from time to time by
THIS Mint during the Il months eading
June 30th, 1892. mbracing acids and
borax, soap, oils, crucibles covers, stir
rers. buck gloves, cotton cloth, dry
goods. metals, hardware aud other nee
esSary supplies. Schedules in biauk
form for p opOS ais, with information as
to the quantities of each article that will
probably tie required, will be fur niShed
on application. Proposals Will be Con-
sidered separately on each article, and
upon the comparison of the prices
end samples of articles furnished, and
will be acce ptei as to the whole or a part
as may he deemed for the best interest
of the Government, the right to reje
any or all plopoSa S being reserved.
acquisitions will be made on the par lies
whose bids may be accepted and the
articles must re furnished required
without delay. Propos ais to receive
consideration, must be accompa MED
by q sufficient bond, with one or more
SuretieS and by samples or such deScrlp-
ton of the articles as will clearly desig
nate the kind and quality. Proposals
should ne addressed to the underSiged,
and inclosed with a copy of the adver-
tisement, in a sealed envelopeindorsed
Proposals for supplies" The sits will
be opened and registered at the hour
named in the presence of bidder and the
officers of the Mint.
S. c. WRIaHr. Superintendent U. S.
Mint, Carson City, Nevada. 1aw4w
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-10-31
QUICK TINE, CHEAP RATES!

Daily Express and Pass erger trains
maka prompt connections with the
sev zeal railroad lines in the East.
pHllmeu Palace Sleeping Cars and
Tour is,t' sleeping Cars attached to all
trains. Mining Cars attached to fast
mail II, ms between Truckee and Og-
zen.
Ticke, sold, sleeping car berths Sc
cured, and other informatio given on
application to the Co.'S Agt. at Reno
where passengers calling a person can
secure ch oicc OF routes, etc.
Richard Gray, Ger. Traf. ManE.
T. II. GOODMAN,
Gen. Pass. Agt.
san FranetscO, Cal.
june
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-10-31
Health is Wealth.

DIR. f. @. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN
a guarauteei specific for
Hysteria, Dizziness, Commissions, Fits,
Nervous Neuralgia, Headache, Nervous
Prostration caused by the use OF alcohol
or tobacco, Wakefuln eSS Mental De
preston, Softening of the Brain result
ing in insanity and leading to mi cry,
decay ana death. Premature old Age,
BarrenneSs, Loss of Power in either sex
Involuntary Losses and Syermatorrhoa
caused by over-eXertiOn OF the brain,
selfabuse or over-indulbsnce Each
box contains one months treatment.
81 90 box or six boxes for $500. sent by
mail nrepaid on recei ipt of prces.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
HrelA3AA

one season he drove u large number Of
hogs to indianapolis, distance of one
hundred miles from his home, although
he was told he could get nearly as much
for them at u town nearer. Arriving at
indianapolis, he found that the price of
hogs had gone down. lie kept them N
the city nearly a month, and finally was
offered q higher price than he could get
nearer home. He wanted high price,
and declared he would drive the hogs
back homo, which he did ut consider
able cost Then he sold them ut home
ut q price very much less than that of
fered in the city. One of his friends
asked him why he had acted so unwisc-
ly.
hog buyers" he replied.
'But did you get even?"
"Well. they didn't get my hogs"
"What, pray, did you get out of tho
transaction?"
'Getl Why, bless your thick-skulled
head. got the society of the hogs back
homel"
VICE PRESIDENT MoRTON'S BULL STORY.
Vice President Morton now and then
perpetrates q joke or story by way of
illustration upon his listeners He
knows 1t well by heart before he begins:
Not far from where live in the coun-
try there is farmer noted for his fine,
large cattle. Durhams and Attorneys
roam over his extensive lands, and peo-
pie come from long distance to view
his stock But visitors have to be care
full about walking around alone in the
a1Cx,ar f,n16Q <,ft hn Ior
of ferocious bulls owned by the farmer.
certain major general, who was very
proud of his title, visited n neighbor
OF the farmer, and one day he strolled
out and began to cut across the clover
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

fields In order TO save little distance.
Before he knew what was up, big bull,
believing and shaking his head, began to
chase him. The general was q swift run
ner and he made good time in front of
the pursuing animal. But the animal
was swift, too, and every time the gen
eral would get near fence the bull was
too close for him to even attempt to
climb over. At last the general made q
line for gate near the farmers house
and reaching it in time shut off the bull
from further pursuit. The farmer, it
seems, was there and had witnessed the
chase.
''Sir-sir, did you see your bull chas-
ing me?"
Yes" said the farmer, suppressing
smile.
"Is that nil you have to say? Do you
know whom that bull was chasing?"
You, I guess"
'Do you know who am, sir? I am
Gen. Blank"
"Wall, why didn't you tell the bull
that?" CURLY rctortcd the farmer.
wASAMAKER's REBUKE.
Postmastcr-GcnernlJ John Wanamaker
Is given to illustrating his conversation
with pointed stories. Once he rebuked
some OF his Sunday-school boys for
laughing mt deaf boys mistake in an
swering misunderstood questions, and
related this story:
Now, little boys, it is not right to
laugh or make sport of affliction.
knew of n deaf man once who was dis
posed to be parsimonious. lie was fond
of society and confirmed bachelor.
He gave banquet to some young ladies
and young gentlemen, the elite of the
city. For convenience, will call the
bachelor Brown. When the banquet
was nearly over one of the boldcst OF
the young men arose to toast Mr.. Brown.
The latter stood up, all smiles. but no
could not hear Il word that was spoken.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
Thursday, June r, '9l

Race l., Running, u mile dash. Purse
one hundred and fifty dollars. One hun
dred dollars to first; fifty dollars to
second.
Race H., Trotting. 2:45 class. Purse
two hundred dollars. One hundred and
thirty dollars to first; fifty dollars to
second; twenty dollars to third.
Race I'LL, Merchants Stakes, / u milo
dash Purse two hundred dollars. One
hundred and twenty-five dollars to first;
hfty dollars to second; twenty-five dol
lars to third.
Race w., Running, A-mile heats,
pest two in three, for cold-blooded
horses that have never been entered in
race under Jockey Club rules. Purse
nifty dollars. Thirty dollars to first;
fifteen dollars to second; five dollars to
third.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

a GOOD ONE BY CLEVELAND.
When Grover Cleveland was governor
he was fond Of telling humorous stories
TO illustrate point It Is said he got
Off good thing on certain ex-assem-
blyman who dropped In to soc him
about the time the newspapers wcre
exposing the job in the contract for put
ting in new ceiling in the Albany
capitol 1t appears that all during the
days Of Boss Tweed this ex-assembly-
man was in the lower house and fought
against jobbery and against the
boss" Mr.. Cleveland was listening to
the comments of the cx-assemblyman
about the substitution Of a papier-
mache ceiling for an oakcn one, when
all at once, with smile on his faoo, he
interrupted his visitor thusly:
"What is the difference between the
assembly now and when you were a
member?"
I'VE were ruled by democratic boss
and now by IL republican boss" ven
tured the cx-1nembcr.
''Oh, no. When you were member
the fraud was on the floor; now 1t is in
the ceiling" said Mr.. Cleveland.
GOV. HILLS STORY OF TWO ENGL1snMEN.
Gov. Hill is u good story-tellcr. Two
Englishmen who had been bosom
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
Friday June 5, 1S9I,

Race l., Running, * -milc dash. Purse
one hundred and fifty dollars. Ono hun
dred dollars to first; fifty dollars to
second.
Race H., Running, I-milo heats.
i'urse one hundred and twenty-five dol
lars. Seventy-fivc dollars to first; thirty
live dollars TO second; fifteen dollars to
third.
Race I'LL, Running, Virginia Stakes,
= mile dash. Purse one hundred and
scventy-iive dollars. One hundred and
twenty-five dollars to first; fifty dollars
to second.
Race w., Trotting, free for-all. Purse
three hundred dollars. Two hundred
dollars to first; seventy dollars to second;
thirty dollars to third.
Notc-entrics for GAS class, 4-milc
heats and free-tor-all races will close at
o'clock p. m, Tuesday, June ., 1891
HENRY DAWN, President.
GEO. c. MCCAHAN, Secretary
Executive Committee. II. Wingatc,
d. c. Rawn, DR.. Leigh Hunt.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

friends came to America They met
with poor success, drifted apart, and
finally one took position as waiter in
cheap restaurant He hadn't been
there long before his friend appeared,
at the dinner. The meeting was not
overt Joyful.
why, old man. You down to waiter,
CHI? Gracious, how you have fallenl
And in Bowery restaurant, tool"
YES" replied the waiter, turning on
his friend, sarcastically, "but don't
eat here, thank God!"
SENATOR INGALLS, AND THE DRUNKEN
MAN.
Senator Ingalls, is prolific with apt
anecdotes and stories
A man considerably intoxicated got
into street car and hung on to a strap.
There was enough room for him to sit
down, but one gentleman had spread
himself so as to occupy two seats. The
man holding the strap said to HIM
'-Say-(hic) = my fren'-(hicew
-(hic)-would move"
"You are drunk" answered the party
on the seat, who refused to make room.
81 know it-(hic)-" was the reply,
''but-( hic)-Ill get over it You're
(hic)-a hog, sir-(hic)-and'n never
(hic}-get over it."
TRAMP STORY BY GEN. PORTER
Gen. Horace Porter is noted after
dinner speaker, and has fund of anec-
dotes and humorous incidents Here is
one of his stories:
Lady to Boston Tramp-And now
Jou want something to eat?
Boston Tramp-Yes, lady, you are
religiously correct in your surnisc.
''Lady-Didy you saw that wood?
Boston Tramp-O, don't say that,
Lady, but put it in this way: did you
see that wood?'
Gen. Porter tells a good story about
his going to Europe for the first time
"As soon as landed in Ireland l at
tempted to look for traces of some Of
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

tramp and it Is suspected that you make
your money dishonesty. My wish is
that you may get your just deserts yet
and land in the penitentiary."
The deaf Mr.. Brown smiled, raised
his glass to his lips, and said: "The
same to You"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
Bucklen's Arnica salve.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, tctter, chapped hands, chilbains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For sale by Budwell, Christian
& Bartee tu.th.sat
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
RACING.
SPRING RACES.
AT THE
LAKE and DRIVING PARK.
ROANOKE, VA,
June g. and =
PROGRAMME, WEDNESDAY,
PROGRAMME, WEDNESDAY,
juno 8, 1891.

Race l, Running, Hotel Stakes. Five.
eaghths OF mile dash. Purse S125.
S85 to first; $40 to second.
Race H. Trotting, Roadster Race, to
wagons. Purse one hundred dollars.
Sixty dollars to first; twenty-five dollars
TO second; fifteen dollars to third. Mile
heats, two in three. Only horses owned
In Roanoke county since January /,
1891, and have been used exclusively as
road horses arc eligible to start. En-
tries close at p. IN. day before race.
Race III, Running, Mile dash. Purse
one hundred and fifty dollars. One hun
ored dollars to first; fifty dollars to
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
THE ROANOKE DEVELOPMENT COM.
PANY.

Another of the valuable industries So
cured by the Roanoke Development
Company is the Virginia Blanket Mills,
manufacturers of wooden blankets of all
grades, spinners of yarn, and scourers
and sorters of wool These mills will
secure the pick OF the feeces of South
west Virginia, where the sheep-raising
industry is developing more rapidly and
more probably than in any other part
of the United States. Manufacturers
of fine cloths should seize the opportu-
nifty to locate in the midst of a wool
raising country and close to their yarn
supplies. For further information ad-
dress,
ARLINGTON GILPlN,
General Manager Roanoke Develop
ment Company Roanoke, Va.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
IcopY'u0Hr, 1911


The most novel symposium ever
printed is the following collection Of
good stories told by famous Americans,
stories that Lose much in being read.
instead Of being heard, but rib-ticklers
nevertheless The gentlemen who tell
these stories, and convulse their hearers,
have many other stories that they tell
first, and in case they do not cause the
hilarity expected, the speakers reputa-
ton Us a wit is staked on the stories an
ncxed Each story, as told, is the best
In the gentlemHn's repertoire, as the
saucy soubrette would put it, and they
never fail 10 bring forth showers Of
laughter.
HARRISON TELLS HOG STORY.
President Harrison very seldom In
dulges in joke or story, unless he
knows his hearers we'll. Ono day, he
surprised his hearers by telling the fol-
lowing story to illustrate point:
There was man who had way of
taking his own advice and doing things
to get even. He was hog-dealer and
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
Summer Is Coming.

Spring is here and summer is ap.
preaching. Prepare to keep cool by
having WILKINSON & LALLEMAND
Salem, Va, make you an awning fol
your store or residence. aprI4-2m.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
Awnings! Awnings y

If you want an awning for your
store front store or windows drop us a
postal and wo will come up and make
estimates for you. WILKINSON e LAIIR-
MAND, Salem, Va. apr14-2m
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
RIB-TICKLING TALES.
Tho Newest and Best Stories Told
by Great Men.

Good Yarns Contributed by President
Harrison. vIce President Morton,
Grover Cleveland. Governor Hill
and General Porter. :.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

THE GREATEST OFFER EVER
MADEi
THE WEEKLY TIMES
FOR ONE YEAR
AND THE
WAvERLY NOVELS COMPLETE
FOR $500.
WE WANT 1000 NEW SUBSCRIBERS
FOR THE WEEKLY TIMES
BY JUNE 1ST.
THIS is WHY THE OFFER is MADE.
THE COMPLETE SET CONSISTS OF
TWENTY-FIVE NOVELS:
I. Waverly,
2. Ivanhoe,
8. Kenilworth,
4. Guy Mannering;
S. Antiquary,
9. Rob Roy,
z. Old Mortality,
8. Bride of Lammermoor,
0. Black Dwarf,
10. Heart of Mid Lothian,
IL. The Monastery,
10. The Abbot,
10. The Pirate,
IA. Fortunes of Nigel,
Is. Peveril of the Peak,
16. Quentin Durward,
II. St. Romans Well,
10. Rcd Gauntlet,
10. The Betrothed,
90. The Talisman,
81. Woodstock,
90. Fair Maid of Perth,
80. Anne of Geierstein,
"a. Count Robert Of Paris.
25. Surgeons Daughter.
THESE NOVELS ARE HANDSOME
~ MO. BOOKS. THE PRINT is
GOOD. TIE PAPER IS GOOD
AND THE BOOKS ARE
NEATLY BOUND.
TWENTY FIVE NOVELS FOR THE
FORMER PRICE OF ONE.
WITHIN EASY REACH OF ALL.
WE WILL DELIVER THE SETS
FREE TO EACH SUBSCRIBER.
AGENTS WANTED AT EVERY POsTOFFICE
IN SOUTHWEST VIRGINIA, AND SOUTH
ERN WEST VIRGINIA TO SECURE
SUBSCRIPTIONS.
TO EVERY PERSON SENDING USI
FIVE NEW SUBSCRIBERS FOR
THE WEEKLY TIMES AT 81
EACH PER YEAR WITH
OUT TIE BOOKS, OR So II
EACH WITH TIE BOOKS, WE N
WILL SEN A SET OF BOOKS FREElA
ALL SUBSCRIBERS TO TIE WEEKLY TIMES
CAN HAVE TIE BENEFIT OF THIS Of
FER. IF YOU ARE IN ARREARS 4
SEND US 81 TO PAY UP AND
GET TIE hooks. T.
81 TO RENEW AND GET TIE BOOKS. r.
TERMS INVARIABLY CASH IN
ADVANCE.
ALL REMITTANCEs SHOULD BE MAI
PAYABLE To t.
THE ROANOKE TIMES PUB. COM
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

He only knew It was about him that
the toast was being said. The young
scapegoat said:
Here Is to you, you old miser,
Brown. You are no better than q
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

Why pay thousands of dollars for a
residence lot when you can get one in
crystal Spring for $500? mays m
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07
for the Hardware Plant.

The Shelf Hardware Company is
actively pushing toward an early cree
ton Of its plant in Roanoke. AS an
earnest of this TIE TINES is authorized
to receive applications for employment
from brass molders, bench molders,
polishers; buffers, machinists and lock
filters. These applications should give
references and state previous expert
ence. In some branches of the industry
raw employees may become experts in a
few weeks or months. and earn large
wages as piece workmen. Address all
applications to "IIardwarc," care TIE
ROANOKE TINES
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

DEVELOPMENT COMPANIES.
Some of the most important companies
ornanized for the development of Roam
oke and this section are:
Roanoke Development Co. . 81 100, 900
Virginia Development Co.,. 5000, 600
Suena Vista Land Co. ...... 300, coo
Al2 Land Companies, ....... 100000
This list is in no sense complete
one. 1t is given to show the diversity
of industries in Roanoke. Scores of
enterprises, employing capital of from
$4,000 to S25, 900, are omitted for lack of
space. Numerous enterprises, with
hundreds of employees and capital reck-
oned by the hundred thousand, are
negotiating for foothold in this South
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-07

Special inducements are offered par
ties desiring to build residences on
Crystal Spring property. A 500 rcduc-
ton will he made on lot when house
costing not less than 1880 is com
pletcd, or the company will lend $500 to
parties who will build at once.
p1ouS-1u
The Newtown bee., 1891-03-06
SHELTON.

If built according to plans which have
been outlined to a reporter, the new dam
of the Ousatonic water company will be
much more substantial and will be able,
apparently, to withstand any floods,
freshets or ice foes that may come down
the river when the Housatonic gets
booming. The part carried away Will
be rebuilt on the same line in the most
durable manner possible. The height
will be % feet, the same as the old dam,
but the foundations will be sunk to great
depth. The pond side of the dam will
slope gently and the cap stones On the
top will be so greatly inclined that
heavy ice, driftwood, ETC., that strikes
them will slide over easily. They will
also be rounded ON the outer edge. The
face or down stream side of the dam will
be nearly perpendicular for consider
able distance from the top, then carried
outward and extend down stream short
distance, to prevent the volume of water
which rushes over the dam from under
mining the foundations. The waters will
not fall in cascade, but will follow the
face of the dam more closely and thus
the perpetual and often disagreeable
roar will be done away with. The new
dam. which will be rather more than 100
feet in length, will follow the graceful
curve of the entire structure and Will be
partly protected from the rush of waters
by the Golfer dam, which will, for the
preseut at least, be allowed to remain.
The cement and stone used in the dam
will be of the best and all stones will be
firmely dowelled together in both direc-
lions. In the former dam, the greatest
weakness was in the apron which pro-
tected the bottom of the face of the dam.
This was badly broken by the Ice which
went over the dam in large quantities
and the waters soon undermined the
foundations, causing it to fall. The
apron of the new dam has been designed
especially to prevent such disaster and
consists of long sticks of timber, laid par
alIel with the stream and extending from
beneath the center of the dam about
25 feet down the river. There will be
two or three tiers of these timbers, strong
ly cross sectioned and covered, on the
TOP. with railroad iron. This apron and
the Improved facing for the dam will be
extended from bank to bank. The cost
of these changes and improvements is es-
tinlated ut 100000.
The Newtown bee., 1891-03-06
Life ofGeu Sherman.

No literary announcement OF the year Is OF
greater interest to the general public than
that OF q comprehensive life of Gen Sherman,
which is about to be published and sold
through agents by the noted house ofHubbafd
Brothers of Philadelphia. Admirable biog-
raphies OF Grant and Sheridan, complete to
the time of their death, are already familiar
to the public but a life OF the third great COM
mander, to finish the series, has been lack
ing. The various biographies of Sherman
hitherto published have necessarily been
incomplete; and even his own memoirs writ
ten in 1875 said almost nothing of his Intense
Iy interesting early life and not word, OF
course of the more than 20 years of social
activity and fraternity with old comrades
since the war. The work which is now to be
issued will spiendidly supply the widely felt
demand for a history OF the great strategic
commander II is being written by Willis
Fletcher johnson, whose ability as a histori-
an is familiar to the reading public OF
America through his former unusually pop
uIar works, which have had millions OF
readers, and the sales of their vast editions
enriched an army of book agents; he is aided
by Maj-Gen o. o. Howard, a man of fine lit
erary attachments, who knew Sherman
better than any other of his comrades now
living and ranked next but one to him III the
army. That this history of sherman, the last
Of the great generals. will surpass all others
In popularity is not TO be doubted 1t will
doubtless be the best life of the great chief
tain published and we predict for 1t wonder
ful popularity. Hsasa
The Newtown bee., 1891-03-06

A young man who has good health and
governs his conduct by a conscientious
answer to the ever present question,
Would my mother approve? and gives
tireless attention to his business, is GER
tain to succeed. 1t is impossible for
every one to win fame or fortune, or
both, but the man who earns II living,
even in very modest way, feels the in
spiration of Independence and has safely
passed the precipice of Failure. have
learned, both by experience and obser-
walton, that the only real and lasting en-
joyment in life is to be found in work.
Everything which man creates decays
when neglected, but nothing in Nature
or Art goes to pieces so fast as man in
dleness. When young man is sure
that he has found the calling best suited
to his abilities and training, whether the
professions or the farm, business or me-
chanical industry, three rules will invar-
iably carry him through-stick, dig,
save.-[Chauncey M. Depew.