Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-10-15

| wrote her an elegant poem
That bristlcd with fancies sublime;
1t o'erhowcd with the fervor of passion,
And my heart to its music kept time.
/ gave it, and asked her to read it,
And awaited my destiny mute;
When she finished she looked up and gig
gled
And murmured, "Oh, isn't it cute?'
Il New York Herald.
NEEDED ASSISTANCE.
Policeman after midnight)-Here,
move on.
Bilkins-It'sh all (hic) right, officer; l
live here. / shay, officer.
''Well, what is it,"
81 shay. You take thish key and
(hic) open thish door and go quietly up
stairs an shee if my wife's asleep"
"Humph! Suppose she shouldn't be
asleep, then WHAT"
"Well, if (hic) she mishtakes you for
me you (hic) you'd better run. New
York Weekly.
CALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL"
"Then you reject me?" he said, sadly.
Yes" she replied, gently.
"Then," said he with a deep sigh, "it
appears I've been hugging a delusion. !"
al beg your pardon; you have never
hugged anything since you came here.
If you had perhaps it might have been
different. Perhaps /"
He at once proceeded to correct his
mistake, and in few moments the old
relations were restored.-[New York
Press.
BEFORE THE ENGAGEMENT.
She-You have no bad habits?
He-No.
She-You are of good family and
wealthy, know.
He-I am.
She--Will you let me have my own
way in everything?
He-Always
She-And-I almost forgot-you love
me?
He-I adore you!
She-Well, perhaps, mamma will not
object. II New York Herald
COOL REPLY.
An Indian prince, remarkable for his
pride and ill-humor, once walking to the
window of his presence chamber with II
foreign ambassador, said to him:
"Do you know, sir, that one of my an
cestors forced person of your de-
scription from this balcony into the
street"
at may be so" was the reply, "but
probably it was not the fashion then,
as it is now, for ambassadors to wear
swords"
A COY LITTLE THING.
Fanny-W eren't you horribly embar-
rassed when he proposed so abruptly on
such short acquaintance?
Maggie-Yes; if he had not happened
to be holding my hand at the time be-
lieve should have sunk to the floor
Epoch.
THE EGoTIsT.
Most men have hobbies-this one books,
that fame, the other pelf-
But heaven protect us from the man
whose hobby is himself.
Il New York Press.
HEARsAY EVIDENCE.
"Your husband" said the caller, sym
pathizingly, "was man of many excel
lent qualities.
"Yes," sighed the widow. "He was q
good man. Everybody says so.
wasn't much acquainted with him my
self He belonged to six lodges. ~ Chi
cago Tribune.
HE COULDN'T BLAME HER.
GLOW did you feel when Miss Long.
head became n sister to you?"
81 could not help feeling that she hat
taken a wise course, although the family
is becoming alarmingly large"
MORE IMPORTANT POINT.
Jack-Amy, we shall have to elope
Would you marry without your parents
consent?
Amy-Of course | would; but, oh,
Jack, how about the wedding presents?
RURAL EXPERIENCE.
"What kind of seeds ought to plant
Uncle 81, to get good squash crop?"
"Squash, O course. What did yer sup
pose? Lilocks?"-[Epoch.
NEVER OMIT THAT.
DIR. Pitter-Then you could do nothing
whatever for the patient?
Dr. Paresis-No; except send in my
bill, of COURSE Epoch.
GONE, AN UMBRELLA.
Johnson-Confound that Tomson!
Mrs. J.-What's the matter?
Johnson-He has just gone and takel
one of my umbrellas. 1t is nothing shor
of crime to take an umbrella and it il
piece of careessness and thoughtless
ness that is condoned too often. 1t
hello, what's this?
Mrs. J.-What is it, John?
johnson (gleefully)-Tomson took on'
of my umbrellas, but left another one
better one. Here, run and hide it. HI
NAV discover his mistake and be bacl
any minute.-IYankee Blade.
PARTLY RIGHT.
| Arrayed in summer garments,
The maiden sweet and shy
| / thought as fair vision
As ever met the eye.
She said she was poem,
So beautiful was she,
And they were partly right, | find,
For she's averse to me.
Il New York Press.
| IN AUTUMN.
"All things now intoxicate,"
The raptured poet said.
"'Tis true" replied the wit, "for now