The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1891-02-12
BILL ARp,s CHAT.
The Philosophers Advice to those Con.
templatIng Marriage.
atlanta Constitution.

Atlanta Constitution.
I am going to build pigeon house. It
seems to bo long-felt want. A aquab
fell down from the coping of the chimney
yesterday, and Mrs. Arp had it cooked for
the little orphans, and I heard her telling
the children how her pa had great, big
pigeon house and hundreds of pigeons,
and they had great dishes of squads to
eat all the year round, and how nice old
Aunt Peggy could cook them, and they
were better than chicken or partridges, or
anything else. Every once in while
she discourses these children on the joys
and luxuries of her childhood. She tells
them about the fsh.pond and the deer
parks, and the bucks and does and fawns,
and how she petted one, and it would
come at her call and eat from her hand,
and how they had vension whenever they
wanted it, and old Aunt Peggy could beat
anybody cooking vension. And how they
MIXED eight COWS, and Aunt Sally made
great churn's full of butter, and how they
killed about a hundred fat hogs every
winter and what big time it was drying
up the lard and making sausages and
smoking hams and shoulders, and mid
dlings in the high topped smokehouse.
And about the big potato patch where
they made enough potatoes for the white
folks and hundred negroes besides, and
her pa kept them sound and sweet until
the patatoes came again. And she tells
about the big plantation on the Chatta-
hooche and the ferryboat, and the fish
traps and the bluffs al covered with lau-
rel, and the big gin house, and how she
used to ride around on the long beams
and pop the whip at the horses as they
wentround and round under the cogwheels
and how little Ben fed the gin and big
Ben picked the cotton, and old Uncle
Jack wore number fourteen shoes and his
feet spraddled out nearly straight and
made path yard wide wnen he walked
through the field, and SO he wasn't allow.
ed to hoe corn, but was kept at the ferry
or in the blacksmith shop on The river
bank. And how she learned to spin and
to weave and wore homemade linsey
woolsey dresses, and could plait shirt
bosom or tuck dress before she was ~
years old, and, last of all, how she would
have been somebody if I had given her
time, but I married her when she was
nothing but child, and she hasent had
any times since to learn anything or do
anything but nurae children and work for
them.
Good gracious-when she dilstes and
narra!es and expectorates upon the hal
cyon days of her girlhood, have to take
a back seat, while the children draw near
and listen and wonder and admire, and l
feel like I am nobody much and maybe I
did wrong in invading her household and
carrying off its queen. But I have done
my best-yes, have done my best, have
fought good fight and kept the faith and
tried to keep her up to her raising, and
she might have waited longer and done
worse. But I am going to build her
pigeon house and'let her feast her men,
cries in watching the beautiful birds as
they gracefully sail around in hocks and
she shall feed her children on squads to
her hearts content. I bought her fawn
once, but he grew up to buckhood and
liked to hsye killed one of the children,
aud go killed him and that let me out
Of the deer business. I had some big foot
negroes, TOO, and several cows and used to
have right smart hog killings, and I
made her fish pond and raised turkeys
and pea fowls, and kept her fresh and
green in the memories of her youth, but
I never did have great big pigeon house.
I'll show her children that I'm somebody,
too, even if I dident have much to start
on except form and feature and wore good
clothes and ten dollar boots and carried
Off the prize at the school examination.
One Of her boys was fixing for party
the other night, and it took him half an
hour and two looking glasses to array
himself in his swsllowLail coat and dou-
BILE breasted cravat and rainbow surcingle
and patent leather shoes and derby hat
and chemisette for shirt bosom, and
when he presented himself his mother
exclaimed: "Well, we'll I! you are just
your pa over and over again. He was
the dresaiest and the handsomest young
man you ever saw and you get it all from
him."
When q young man begins to look
around and banker after a wife he had
better consider whether he can keep q
wife up to her raising or not. If he thinks
he can then he is safe to invite her to put
her clothes in his chest, but if she is rich
and he is "only tolerable, I thank YOU"
he had better be careful and go slow, for
riches take wings and fly away, and if he
can't keep:up the old standard it's q ro.
Election on lis capacity. a good, sensible
wife won't any anything on that line, but
most every woman has an idea that if she
was man she would make life success,
aud so, if her husband proves a failure,
she don't strain her eyes in looking up to
him. It's all right at our house, except
the pigeon house and tho squads, aud I'll
catch up with that. In fact, I'm ahead
of the music in d good many things con.
sidering the var and raising len children
and keeping them in good clothes aud
healthy vittcls. I've done prs!ty we'll