The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-12-15
He Asks Some Questions and Discusses
Some Watersheds Has on
Her Warpaint.


He Asks Some Questions and Discusses
Some Matters--Betsy Has on
Her Warpaint.
Hello! Mr., Devil"
D.-"Hello! Mr.. Bilkins."
B.-"Hitch me to the editor. 1
reckin he haint nothin' to do"
R.-"How are your folks, Mr.. Bill
kins2'
Poorly, poorly, Ne an Betsy
are havin' trouble these days"
R.-"HOw is that2'
B.-"Betsy wants to hitch our phone
to the editor of the State Chronicle an
l don't want to do it,"
R.-"What is the trouble with the
editor of the ChrOnicie2
B." Well. Betsy is mad because he
says such hard things about DR.. Ma
cune, an publishes McAllister's lies. I
like the editor of the Chronicle, but
Betsy she says he slips a cog every
now an then"
RI" Well, this is a free country.
Let Mrs. Bdkins have a chat with the
editor of the Chronicle"
B.-"No, I can't do it. l hear that
he has one of them cutters an pastors
in his shop an it might get hold Of Il
JeIt phone an cut it all to pieces. No,
sir; [ can't take no such risks"
R" What do you think of the lad
DRESS" Mr. Bilkins?"
Bob! 1t made us all sick. | had
to send for DIR. Jones an we had q lot
Of trouble over it. Didn't it make the
men what signed it sick, too?"
R-"No, I reckon not. They escaped
somehow. The editor of the Statesville
Landmarks says he would be willing to
20 Into battle with the address for a
banner"
B-'Well, he is mighty risky. 1
wouldn't light my pipe with it for d
thousand dollars
R.-"Whya are YOU so much opposed
to it,"
B.-"Wen, blamed if it has got any
of the Ocaia platform in it. That is
what makes me mad. Some Of them
AllianCemen who were on the commit
tee that got up the st. Louis platform
and then helped to change it an en-
dOrse it at Ocala an then helped en-
dOrse it unanimously at MOrehead,
signed the address l wuuldn'ta signed
nothin' that didn't have some assurance
that the Ocala platform would be put
in it. That Is the kind of Allianceman
l am an don't you forget it."
R.-"Yuu are a brick, Mr. Bilkins,"
B-"I don't know er bout bein' a
brick, but plamed if | am a goin' INTO
Alliance meetin's an get up platforms
an thAn sign weak knt ed things like
that adore IS. Bilkins is not ready to
surrender his right to do as he pleases
or bout SUI n things
R. But this address was not a
platform. l. was simply a harmon.
izer.'
B.-"I don't care WI at it was. Peo-
pie want somethin' that has a meanin'
to it an some promise of dom some
thin. If I make a promise you want
it in plain English. If I give you a
note, you want it to be a promise to
pay, This address haint got nothin' in
it. These little thermometers" are
like takin' a little sugar an water an
then a tryin' to imagine that you have
had a tOddy. They are too thin"
R-"You should be conservative,
Mr.. Bilkins, You should submit to all
these inconsistencies with Christian
fOrbearance."
B.-"Go to Halifax with your con-
sentative talk! The man who. has
Christian forbearance an all that dom
monkey around with such little thin
things as the address an the Presidents
messag-. The man who is conservative
will look put fer himself an not let the
politicians just pull the wool over his
eyes an mistreat him an his family an
not kick"
R.-"You should be patient"
B.-"Haint l bin patient? Haint
waited twenty years an every thing a
gettln' worse? [ reckin you want me
to wait till my wife an children are
slaves an then they will call their old
daddy a fool for waitin' so long. I'm
tired waitin'."