Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-05-05
PRICE ONE CENT
How ro- COURT a WIFE.

IL Is Not the Same Thtng as Courtfng
Maid, as Polhemua Demonstrates
Polhemus Diltz set his lips firmly to-
gether. buttoned his coat, and started for
home.
1t was as much my fault as hers, he
muttered, that when l went home the
other day with the idea of courting my
wife didn't seem 10 succeed. ought
to have known better than to bother her
when she was picking the pin feathers
off an old hen and Bridget was taking an
afternoon off. won't make blunder
like that again.
About half an hour afterward Mr..
Diltz entered the family mansion. He
found Mrs. Diltz in the sitting room.
Merely remarking that it was a chilly
day, he threw package carelessly into
the fire that burned brightly in the CRATE.
"What is that, Polhemus?n inquired
Mrs. Diltz somewhat sharply.
Nothing but my pipe and cigar case, "
he replied with yawn. i've sworn of
from smoking.
Mrs. Diltz looked pleased, but said
nothing.
It will save me at least $l00 year,
Mary Jane, T" observed Polhemus with an
other yawn, as he walked aimlessly about
the room with his hands in his pockets
sand the habits nuisance anyhow"
1T certainly is, assented Mrs. Diltz.
aPm glad you've OUTFIT you'll only
stay quit.
Mr.. Diltz continued his aimless walk
about the room. Presently he brought
up in front of small closet that he had
been in the habit of hanging his smoking
cap and smoking jacket in. He opened
it, took those garments out, and in
spected them.
"While I'm about it." he said, I'll
make clean job of it. I'll hang these
things in the woodshed, and t'ss next
tramp that comes along can have them.
You can use this closet for anything you
like. Seems to me" continued Mr.. Diltz,
resuming his nonchalant walk about the
room, and extending his stroll into the
room adjoining, "we don't have more
than about half enough closets in the
house. If were building house for
human beings to live in I'd put in so Of
'em. Now, here's a place under this
stairway where could have good large
closet made. suppose you'd object to
it, though"
No, wouldn't" responded Mrs.
Diltz warmly. 1T would just suit me,
Polhemus.
@Well, I'll have It done." And Polhe-
mus kept ON yawning and stroiling
leisurely through the rooms.
"There are half dozen other places,
ventured his wife, somewhat timidly,
"where should like to have closets built
or shelves put up while you're about it,
@All right. You can have all you
want"
Mrs. Diltz went behind door and
hugged herself. Mr.. Diltz continued to
walk about unconcernedly.
~What-what wo Id you like for din
ner this evening, Polhemus9"
Anything, Mary Jane-anytIling.
don't know but I'd like some hot biscuits,
only"
"Only what?"
Bridget doesn't know how to make
good biscuit.
@Why, Polhemusi Do you like my
biscuits better than Bridget'sSn
II never eat anybody's but yours if 1
can help it. I"
"Oh, Polhemus
Mrs. Diltz came nearer to her husband.
For the first time in II years she threw
her arms about lis neck-but nobody
has any business to be intruding here.
Please retire.
at isn't such a laundering hard job,
even for married rhinoceros of II years
standing, to court his wife if he only
knows how to go at it right. said Mr..
Diltz to himself as he went about the
house the same evening at late hour
locking up things for the night.-[Chi-
cago Tribune.