The Columbus journal., 1891-10-28

Inc young IclIOW yChACu IA
with a contemptuOus grunt. II am
q modest man, Miss Nellie, and Idon't
want any glory"
ssBut you'll surely 60 into the army,
won't you?"
ssNot If I can help myself"
ooh, Squash, I thought better OF
you"
"What, and after whaling me in the
road, too?"
ooh, Squash, if you love me, join
the army"
.s.Love you?s BY gracious, who said
that l loved you?'
'.Brothcr Tom says So"
"Well, you tell your brother Tom
that if I wasn't afraid of him I'd call
him a liar"
s'Then you do not love me?" she
| exclaimed, with a theatrical start.
''That's what l said, Miss Nellie,
but if it is going to put you to any
trouble, I'm sorry l said it."
81 will call my brother TOm."
..Oa. no. no. 1 will promise any
| thing for your sake. You said some
thing about my loving you. Now,
| tell me that YOU love me-"
s'What!" she Shricked. l love you:
I am a great mind to call Tom and
have him spread you out thin in the
path. How could l love you. you
| cowardly wretch?"
Il don't know. I'm sure, never hav-
| ing taken the trouble to investigate,
but when you spoke of my loving you,
l didn't know but that you might
sOrter half way love me-"
Il never thought of such a thing,
YOU old coward you. Tom was tor
mcnting nc about you the other day,
and said that you were dying Of love
for me, and l thought that il you
were l might possibly get you to 60
into the army"
"Is Tom gOing?"
s'Who, my brother Tom? Well, l
reckon he is. Father has bought him
a tent and ever SO many things
canned stuff and dried beef and
pickles. He's going to be a sutlcr
and being that is right up next to
the general. And you won't join the
army?"
"No, 1 am not afraid of having my
feelings wounded"
"Well, then, 60 away from here,
you gOOd-fOr-nOthing thing"
sSay, wait a minute, Miss Nellie"
"Well, what do you want?"
s'To tell you the truth, I've been in
love with you ever since you whipped
me that day."
81 don't love you, you coward"
"And l thought" Squash cOntin'
ued, s'that would come over and ask
you to marry me-"
"Here Bose, here" the young LADY
cried, calling the dog. "Whew-et
whew-et," she whistled. Squash tool
to his heels
The parade of wars preparation
passed; the slaughter Of battle came
) SQUASH was drafted. The terror o.
his cowardly nature few into word!
of pleading. He said that he wOul(
work for the Government; he woult
} dig wells and curry hOrses-chOl
} wood or do anything 80 long as h
: should be kept out of danger, but h
could not stand out and be shot at.
! "Other men have to stand it," al
| officer replied.
ooh, yes, but the thought Of it
not as terrible to them as it is to me
Somehow l am tenderer than Othe
men, and having more of the start
ling imagination Of fear, picture
thousand wounds. I am a coward
e and the coward more than all Othe
men should excite your pity, for tn
poet has said that towards die man
, times"
"You'l have to CO."
"But what's the good taking me
I'll be too scared to shoot. 1t will b
q simply leading me out to be shot,"
l "Well, in paying their respects t
you, the enemy my neglect some ma
: that is a good shot"
They took Squash to the wal, bu
he ran away. They brought him bach
but it usually took two men to guar
him. One day a captain stOppe
where Squash was digging up a stumI
and after looking at him a few mi
ments, said:
s'They keep you pretty bus!
q Squash"
Eyes, 1 hardly get time to eat"
Z eff you we're a better soldier you
not he a common labOrer::"
"Yes, but l might get shot, and +
rather work like a cart horse than t
q be dead"
They managed to shove him to th
front once, but when he caught sigh
of the enemy he threw down his gu
q and mysteriOusly disappeared.
~ When the war was over Squas
went into business with his fathe
l who still handled mink skins, a
though improvement in firearms ha
e compelled him to give up gun-aint
The business prospered, and Squas
&C was known as a man OF means, "
some fellow would come into the stOl
II occasionally and ''whalc" him.
One day the following advertis
e ment astOnished the readers OF tt
n leading newspaper of Nashville:
c To THE PUBLIC-Two months from now
(, shall be 30 years old. and on my Oirtnday
am going around with ny notebook. rclil
~ iously kept during many painful years. nj
]. whip every man III I can find himl who
4. name I have therein eutered. I have BET
;S a coward all my life-and have suffered
- thousand deaths in CONSEQUENCE. COurag
IL We all know. is a matter of argument.
" have reasoned with myself. and ON tho 6
day of June I will be q courageuOus ma
:. instead OF q coward. I am in excellent CO.
IS dition for fighting. The trench exercis
and stump discipline which l went throu!
during the war. nave hardened my muscl
and enlarged my fists. I deem this mott
sufficient. and shall not specially adore
m each individual. warning him OF my int
ton. Imay be whipped as usual up
- IL 80 D m. on the 9Th day June. but ait
ID that l will never submit to the slightest
is suit, NAPOLEON SQUAsHl AITTo1.
as The advertisement raised a gre
hawhaw, and one man who had n
le whipped MittOx since the old schO
" days, went around to indulge in tn
h. pleasure. Squash offered no resis
at ance. He received his s'thumpin,
to as quietly as consistency would ADM
and then bought ten mink skins fro
- a