davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
Highest q n IN Leavng PowaU Govt Report Aug II, 1882
@&!a|s!!! e! Rss'ss BsM1sss
ABSOLUTELY PURE
A DUEL WITH A RATTLER.
POSTAL CLERK M'GREGoR HAS AN
EXCITING EXPERIENCE.
A Rattlesnake Five Feet Long Attacks
Him in the Fosta Car-The Reptile
Makes Plucky Fight.


Locked up in a postal car alone
and no possibility of summoning
help for quite while, with a
seyen-foot rattlesnake gliding all over
the place, varying the monotony by
playing tag with him, that was the ex-
perience Mail Agent w. G. McGregor
had.on his last trip from this city to
Albuquerque. A rattlesnake, when met
with plenty OF room to fight him in and
plenty Of weapons with which to attack
him, Is by no means a pleasant antag-
onist. But in this instance the snake
could not run away, neither could Mr..
McGregor, and he had no weapon. The
snake soon became very angry, and kept
the mail agent on the jump keeping out
OF the way OF his deadly fangs.
Mr.. McGregor left this city last Sum
day in his mail car for Albuquerque via
the Santa Fe route and worked his mail
comfortably until leaving Williams,
when changing his rack" he picked up
an empty mail sack, and out crawled a
snake adorned with fourteen rattles. The
mail clerk jumped and the snake jumped
at him, being irritated by being dis
turbed, and then race was kept up be-
tween the two. McGregor had no
weapon nor could he improvise one.
The moving of the cor and the noise of
the wheels thoroughly aroused the
temper of the snake, and he wanted
nothing in the world but taste Of a
mail clerk, and he started in to sample
one. The clerk climbed over the rack
swung on the cross beams of the car,
and exhausted himself before he re-
sorted to pulling the bell cord and stop
ping the train and getting help. The
conductor, brakemen and firemen came
rushing into the car to see what was the
trouble.
"There's rattlesnake in here as big
as boa CONSTRUCTOR" called out Me-
Gregor to them, and they rushed out
quicker than they came in. They pro-
CURED some sticks and pieces of coal and
tried to kill the reptile, but the latter
was now in frenzy Of rage, and made
such fight, that the contest had to be
abandoned, the. car was given up to
him and the train pulled on to Wins
low, where reinforcements were found,
and by the aid of sticks, stones, revolv-
ers and couplihg-pins the RATHER was
finally killed, he fighting gamely to the
last.
The snake was measured and found to
be full five feet long and twelve inches
in circumference at the thickest part of
his body, and possessed fourteen rattles.
Postmaster McAllister, of Winslow, took
the carcass to preserve and keep on ex-
hibition. The empty sacks. among
which was the one containing the rat
tier, lwere taken on board at Prescott
junction. and it is supposed that the
reptile came from the Tip Top country.
He was certainly a tip-top specimen of
his kind.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
PERSONAL.

Mr.. and Mrs. w. M. Cowley, Of Chi
cago, are at the Hollenbeck.. c
Mr.. and Mrs. w. H. Holden, Of Chi
cago, are at the Westminster.
Mr.. and Mrs. George S. Taylor, Of
Portland, are at the Hollenbeck.
Stedman Stark, capitalist Of Worces-
ter, Mass. is at the Hollenbeck.
Governor and Mrs. Luis E. Torres, Of
Ensenada, Lower California, are at the
Nadeau.
Mr.. and Mrs. George E. Curtis, Of
Brooklyn, N. ", have apartments at the
Hollenbeck.
Miss Anna McNab and Miss Grace
McNab, of Riverside, are at the West
minister hotel.
Joseph Hciman, representing S. J..
Nathan, Sons 4 Co., Of New York, is
visiting the city.
Mr.. and Mrs. o. w. Barrett, OF Chi
cago, and Mr.. and Mrs. w. A. Murphy,
of Montana, are at the Hollenbeck.
Henry A. Stevens, formerly Of this
city, has located at Ensenada, Lower
California, and gone into business there.
Mark Thall, in advance Of the Os-
borne-Stockwell dramatic company,
which is booked at the Los Angeles
theater, is at the Nadeau.
Mr.. E. Wineburgh leaves for San
Francisco this evening. He contem-
plates embarking in business venture
in the Bay City. We should feel sorry
to lose such valuable citizen and enter
prising business man from our midst.
Eastern people at the Hollenbeck are !:
H. Hobson, OF Philadelphia; Milton
Brown, of Chicago; George P. Miller, of
New York; A. +. Blair Of Rochester, N.
Y; A. Gillespie, Of New York; A. ].
Goodlett, of Clarksville, Tenn, and W..
Hutchinson, of Louisiana.
Sam. Klepetar, popular Angelefio
who has been on six months business
trip throughout the east, is home again.
He states that Los Angeles is ahead Of
all the other places he visited, in every
respect, and from what he heard back
east many persons are anxious and are
now preparing to locate in this paradise
OF the world. It is unnecessary to state
that Mr.. Klepetar is glad to get back to
the Angel City.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

BE could walk little, but could not get up ii
ne fell down, and could not move when in bed,
having no use of his hands. i Immediately
commenced with the CUTICURA REMEDIES,
using all freely. One sore after another healed,
9 bo matter forming in each one of these five
deep ones just before healing, which would
finally grow loose and were taken OUT then
they would heal rapidly. One of these ugly
bone formations l preserved. After taking a
dozen and half bottles he was completely
cured, and Is now. at the age of six years. a
strong and healthy child.
MRS. +. s. briggs,
612, f. Clay St., Bloomington, iii.
May 0, 1885.
My grandson remains perfectly we'll. No
signs Of scrofula and no sores.
MRS. E. 8. briggs.
Feb. z, 1900. Bloomington, Ill.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

For advertisements, help wanted,
wanted situations, and wants of all de-
scriptions; houses, rooms and stores to
let, business chances, money to loan,
city and country property, for sale,
lost and found, personals, excursions,
professional cards, see third page Of
HERALD. Advertisers get quick returns.
Advertisements cost only five cents a
line, and are read by everybody.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
THE HOTEL oAKwOoD.
The Place 70 Spend fseasant
Day.

The Baldwin hotel, Oakwood, situated
at Arcadia, in the beautiful San Gabriel
valley, has been justly credited with
serving as fine table as there is in Los
Angeles. Tomorrow, Mr.. M. Lawrence,
the energetic manager, in addition to
other fine dishes, will place before his
guests some choice Lake Tahoe trout,
which. has just been received. The
drive to the hotel ie one of the prettiest
in Los Angeles. The balmy air has an
appetixing influence, and M. Lawrence
will see that all who visit the hotel will
come away we'll satisfied.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
LADIES MIGHT.
A Good TIME Last Evening at the
Athletic Club.


Athletic Club.
The members Of the Los Angeles
Athletic club entertained themselves
and their friends last evening by one OF
their enjoyable ladies' nights. Before
dancing number of interesting bouts
at boxing and fencing were given by
members. Many of those present were
much disappointed at the omission of
the wrestling match on the programme
between Messrs. Flammer and Ward.
Owing to some oversight the necessary
preparations for this. feature had not
been made, and the arena was unfit.for
such contest, so the gentlemen de-
clined to appear. In other respects
the evening was an unqualified success.
After the sports, dancing was kept up
until an early hour this morning.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

hand and as his blood be-
came more and more i'm
pure, it took less time for
them to break out. A sore
came on the chin. beneath
che under lip, which was
very offensive. Hishead was
one solid scab, discharging
q great deal. This was his
condition at twenty-five
months old, when I under
took the care of him, his
mother having died when
he was u little more than q
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
Stitches in tho Back Cured.

Peter g. VandeWaters commiesinner Of high
ways, Wdodebairgh, Long island, N. r., writes:
troubled with stitches In the back. They came
on without the slightest warming md laid me
up toF two and three weeks vt q time, and moth
no mors sxveSe az astacf c6uf hxsdiy Sdii ~ move S 81
wife then applied an ALLc0cK's Is POkOUs PLA6-
TER onthe small Of the hacx where the kink
:Ss2. e 6s sa ssS 9ps nsf9s sS
next motning 4 f0t up and attended 10 my
@ogMnees @ pQf y f{eth RlestaE oF, every week
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
ADJUSTMENTS.
MORE uARvELs At THE .MusEE.

N0RE HARvELB At THE .MUEEE.
There will be the usual change Of bill
at the Maia-street musee theater today,
Saturday. Several new performers are
to appear, among whom. is Charles
Kinder, fire king; Miss Louise Nor
rison, q vocal soubrette, and the leading
feature, which is calculated to create q
sensation, Cremation, or Incineration, to
be presented by NJ. Gaudin, clever
French iIlusionist.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
Scrofuia

In It's Horst Form White SsUetZ-
jasg0 Cured.
The remarkable effect OF Hoods sarsaparilla in
the following case illustrates the power Of thia
medicine over all blood diseases:
MY son, years old, had . white swelliny
come on his right legbelow the knee, which con-
tracted the muscles 20 that his leg was drawn up
ut right angles. Physicians lanced the swelling,
which discharged freely, but did not help him
materially. Iconsidered him
A Confirmed Cripple.
I was about to take him to Cincinnati for m cp-
Grafton, expecting his leg would have to be taken
of, and began giving him Hoods sarsaparilla in
order to get up his strength. The hemedicine woke
mp his appetite, and soon pieces of bone were
discharged from the sore, We continued with
Hoods Sarsaparilla, as 1t seemed to be doing him
go much good, and the discharge from the sore
decreased, the swelling went down, the leg
Strengthened out, and In few, months he had
perfect use Of his leg He Is now apparently a.
wella ever" JOHN L. McNUhRAy, Notary Pub.
lic, Ravenswood. W. Va
Hoods Sarsaparilla
Sold by druggists. 81; six for IS. Prepared only
5yc.L HOOD 4 CO.. Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass
100 Doses One Dollar
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
A SCROFULOUS BOY.
Cunning Sores Covered His Body and
Head. Bones Affected. Cured
by Cuticura Remedies.

When six months old, the left hand of our
appearance of large boil We poulticed IL.
put all to no purpose. About five months after
II became running sore Soon Other sores
formed He then had two Of Them IN on oh
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

RnpV,0 Skin and Scalp purified and beautiied
DhDl y by CUTcURA SOAP. Absolutely pure.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
AMONG THE COURTS.
STRONG CASE AGAINST Ex-
JUSTICE LOCKWOOD.
Evidence Introduced Showing that the
Records Had Been Tampered With.
Notes Of Legal Incidents.

The trial of ex-Justice OF the Peace w.
.. Lockwood was continued yesterday
in department one OF the superior court.
The first witness was N. B. Walker, who
was clerk in the court formerly presided
over by Lockwood. Mr.. Walker was
questioned in regard to the books of the
court. Certain cases did not appear in
regular order. The witness testified that
the entries we're always made by him as
soon as given to him by the court. In
regard to the entry about the $500 cash
bail of Morton, the witness said that an
erasure had been made, and the word
"bond" had been substituted, thus
making itappear that Morton had given
bond, and not cash bail. The wit
ness swore that the record had been al
tered by some one other than himself.
w. H. Russell, IT. Owens, Edgar
Moore, John H. f. Peck, j. Banbury, r.
B. Tanning, p. Purcell and Jesse Har-
desty were the other witnesses to testify
on behalf Of the prosecution.
Mr.. Peck was the foreman OF the last
grand jury and testified to certain state
ments made by Lockwood. At that
time Lockwood stated that Morton he'd
given bond and n0t'a each bail of $500.
j. Banbury and Frank Fanning were
put on the stand to oteatify in regard to
the records.
P. Purcell testified that he put up 4
cash bail for one Garrett and that he had
had con6idarable difficulty in getting
the money back from Lockwood after
the matter had been settled. Purcell
testified that at first Lockwood stated
that he did not have the money, but
that after he had importnned him for
about month, that Lockwood pro-
duced the coin.
Jesse Hardesty testified to CONVERSE
ton he had heard between Lockwood
and Purcell in regard to tie matter.
The prosecuting attorney introduced
this evidence to show that Lockwood
had constantly been III the habit OF
holding back and juggling with cash
bail entrusted to him. According to
the testimony thus adduced, Lockwood
-hae made very many conflicting state-
.ments in regard to the money in ques-
tion. The case will be resumed today.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

Sold everywhere. Price, CUrIcURA, soc; SOAP,
25c: REs0LvENT. 81. Prepared by the POTTER
Drug AND CHEMICAL CORPORATION, Boston.
E0>Send for "H0w to Cure Blood Diseases .
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

Informations were yesterday f]ed ia
department one, charging Fred Barton
and Fred Carter With burglary.
TIE suit of NJ a4ick ". q. Foyer ii
II proefees y trnbnt tllreo. ThisI
" 2 ellit foI dou1oH6o, lpyer, IN officer
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
Original packages.

Gilt edged milk is delivered in glass jars b,
Halls Dairy. Address Chas. Victor Hall, liz
6. Spring street.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
CUrICURA REsOLyENr.

CUTICURA RESOLvENT.
The new Blood Purifier internally Ito cleanse
the blood of all impurities and poisonous ele-
ments and thus remove the cause), and CUTI-
CURAs the great Skin Cure and CUTICURA SOAP,
an exquisite skin Beautifer, externally TO
clear the skin and scalp, and restore the hairy,
cure every disease and hum0r Of the skin and
blood, from pimples to scrofula.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24

lIulil. l... i
Los Angeles herald., 1891-01-24
No Chemicals

4old 6 0E9R9fs exesyyvl2ese.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
SMALL SHOTS.

GEN GEORGE FL. THOMAS is said to
have struck the first hard blow the con-
federates got at Mill Springs, KY, jan
uary 10 and 20, 1862. For this battle
the president issued congratulatory
letter to Gen. Thomas and his troops.
Gen. Thomas was one of the most uni
formly successful generals in the union
army, as he won every battle whore he
had supreme command of the troops
engaged, and on several occasions
saved the day where he was a subordi-
nate.
A STORY is told of a Yankee skipper,
whose name unfortunately is not given,
and he is now dead, that he sailed his
vessel into the port of New Orleans
one morning at daylight Two boat
loads of men came rowing out and
boarded the ship. SIN the name of the
confederate states of America" etc,
they said. The captain came bounding
from his cabin in his night-skirt who
is on the deck of my Ship" he roared.
When he learned who were the men
who wore the gray uniforms he
throw the confederate states of Amer.
lea overheard. He ran back and or
dered the stars and stripes to be run
Up. AS the old flag went up they
threatened to burn his ship Burn
nv ship" he beloved. Burn my
hip, Burn it and / viii blow your
blasted New Orleans out Of the water. I"
And they burned his ship.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
November Discoveries.

This is a somewhat remarkable month
for discoveries beneficial to mankind,
and the influence of which continues
widening for good.
November 81, 1902, the use and bene-
fit of the ships compass was discovered.
and as without it safe ocean navigation
would have been impossible, it may be
called the parent of all geographical dis
coveries that have been made since that
time.
Nobember Is, 1897, the Cape of Good
Hope was discovered, and then was
opened to European commerce a water
way to the Orient. Previous to that date,
trade between the East and West was
done by the slow and often painful
progress of the caravan.
November 26, 1878. the Sandwich Is
lands were discovered. and this has been
teen boon to Picific ocean naviga-
tors, as coaling and provisioning
station. Ii ought to belong to the United
States, and may some day be annexed by
Uucle Sam.
Thanksgiving Day, too, was discover
ed in New England during this month.
some two hundred years ago, and the
people of the Northwest have discovered
that to make quick, safe and pleasant
journey home on Thanksgiving-or any
other day-"The Burlington is the
the route to take. Tickets and any other
information can be obtained from local
agents, or by addressing w. j. c. Ken
yon, Gen. Pass. Agent, C.B. & MR.,
st. Paul, MINI.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
RECOMMENDATIONS.

From A. r. SPoFPoRD Librarian Of Congress:
"The novelty OF the plan, exhibiting by graphic
diagrams a comrlcte synchronology OF Ameri-
can political his.o-y, Is carried out with admir-.
able ingenuity. and the work may fairly be
termed BreyisIy o! American Politics"
From HoN. S. s. Cox: comfy one work is com.
parable W, b 1.-THE ST. istical Atlas by the
Government to sly tcle IS high eulogy."
From BENSON j. LOSING, Ii. D., Historian:
Like Q c.-ceye mirror IL reflects to q single
focus an epi0ome Of the essential elements OF
cur nationel history, showing clearly at glance
the progress OF the nation. from its infancy to
its present period Of maturity.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
sucKLIN's ARNIcA sALvE,

The best sal7e 10 The world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, ST. Rheum,
Fever Sores, Teter. CbaDped Hands,
Chil5laius, Corns. d ali Skin Erup-
tons. and positively ca es Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is gue eoteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded
Price IS cents per box. For sale by
JOSEPH T. BENNETT 29ly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
Opinions of the Trade-South

find Chamberlain's medicines very
excellent, particularly Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy.-B. E. ETHRIDGE,
Hallettville, Texas.
l have tried Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy with great success.-R. TAN
NRRET, Waveland, Miss.
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy can
not be beat.-W. l.. DAVIS, Liberty Hill,
La.
l have used Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy in my family, and consider it
the best / have ever tried w. j.
FLOWERS, Boravllle, Ga. so cent bot
ties for sale by your druggist. 81 40
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
WAR "REMINISCENCES.
THE SOLDIER IN GRAY.

The armies they had ceased 70 fight,
The night was stiIl and dark,
And many thousand on the field
VERIFYING stif and stark
The stretcher men had come along
And gathered all they could
A hundred surgeons worked that night
Behind the clump OF wood.
They flashed the lanterns in my face,
And as they hurried BY.
The sergeant looked and said: Hes dead
And made no reply.
The bullet had gone through my breast
No wonder ] vas still.
But once viii be nearer death
Than when upon that hill.
A gray-clad picket came along
Upon his midnight bea';
lie came so near me that tried
To move and touch his feet
At once he bent and felt my breast
Where life still fought at bay;
No one who loved me could have done
More than this man OF gray.
Der me all chilled with blood and dew,
His blanket soft he spread;
A crimson sheaf OF wheat he brought
pillow for my head
Then knelt beside me for an hour
And bathed my lips and brow;
But for the man who was my foe
I'd not be living now.
Then as the coming daylight shone,
He bent his lips 10 say:
God spare you brother, though you wear
The blue, and the gray.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
NV DAUGHTERS Life

Was saved by Hoods Sarssparilla.
says Mr.. b b. Jones of Alma, Name.
''She had seven running sores in differ
ent places on her body, but on giving
her Hoods Sarsaparilla there was a
marked improvement and now she Is
well, strong and healthy"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Itch or human and horses and eli
animals cured in so minutes by Wool
ford's Sanitary Lo ion, This never
fails Sold by Stone & Russell Drug
gist, Lancaster. 16 ly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
WHAT AGENTS ARE DOING.

Received the 10 maps this afternoon; sold
before supper"
Sold II maps yesterday; will send you
large order next Saturday
Have canvassed for years; never saw any
thing equal to this map"
II sold six maps In one hour; everybody
wonts one"
Send twenty-five maps at once; want this
entire county"
have canvassed one half day; took IS
orders
II sold IS maps in four days expect TO sell
100 next week y
"Took Sorders from the circular"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
Rheumatism Cured in a Day

nuG uII1dG16 Jul Gu III La .
"Mystic Cure" for Rheumatism and
Neuralgia radically cures in to days,
Its action upon the system is remark
able and mysterious. 1t removes at once
the cause and the disease Immediately
disappear. The first dose greatly ben
efits. Is cents. Sold by Stone &
Hassell, Druggists, Lancaster. 48ly
Large size SOC and$1.00.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Hoods Pills cure Constipation by re-
storing the peristalic action of the ali
mentary canal. They are the best fam
lily cathartic.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Atchison Globe: The people in this
world are SO much alike that if you aim
at one man you hit hundred.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05
Rare California Views.

Enclose stamp for catalogue. Sam
pie of views will be sent upon receipt of
twenty-five cents.
California Art Gallery, Santa Rosa,
Cal. 48ly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Lowell Courier: Somebody calls for
the invention of "a buttonless shirt
Oh law! buttonlass shirts have been
known eyer since Adam was bach
alor
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Kate Fields Washington: Teacher
What are draft riotsP Pupil-'Quar
rels caused by people not shutting thu
doorr
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Lowell Courier; The girl who has
had faithless lover should be sharper
the next time-she is cutlass.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Baltimore American: Mamma, Why
do they put the picture of an eagle OF
dollarsP' TO show that money flies
my dear.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

u.
land
IT.
with These sell
araely Publishers Express S5.75
Map library, well worth the
will this Great Double Map Express Prepaid and guaran-
address the mailed but
Name Office
REFUNDED perfectly satisfied after
which
CHARGES
delivery refunded.
0IR 0EEER The Heral d will send Map FREE to an
800 - one sending in four subscribers for one
year at so EACH For SO will send Map and
paper for year. Address, HERALD, Lancaster
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

Oar dear little daughter was terribly sick,
Her bowels were bloated as hard as brick,
We feared she would die
Till We happened 10 try
Pierce's Pellets they cured her, remarkably
quick.
Never be without Pierce's Pellets IN
house. They are gentle and effective in
action and give immediate relief in cases
of indigestion. biliousness and constipa-
ton. They do their work thoroughly and
leave no bad effects. Smallest, cheap
est. easiest to take. One dose. best
Liver Pill made.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

10000. 90 wear is being made by John r.
Goodwin, TrDy. y \. at work for Us. Reader,
you msy nct make as much, but We can
leach you quickly how 70 earn from Is to
E 10 DAY a. the start, and more e. you 20
On. boz seKes. ell ages. Ia any par, Of
you can commence a. bone, Civ
Ing al your time or spare moments oSly 70
the work. All Il new Great pay 81 RI for
every worker We start you, furnishing
everything. EASILY. SPEEDILY learned.
FREE. Address at once,
3TIasOa 4 CO., PORTLAND, nAlAE.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-11-05

N Y. World: That Howl Explained.
-Charlie-'What makes the old cat
howl SOP Waiter guess you'd make
a noise if You was full of hddlestrings
inside