The Sunday morning news., 1891-11-29
To AN whom 1t May Concern

advertisement in yesterdays Herald
started out-and it seems to concern
everyone who has even the slightest
appreciation of the ludicrous. AS an
advertisement it is unique, outre
bizarre, or anything you please IL
fact. If Artemus Ward were alive we
should suspect him of it, not~ith
standing Mr.. Kohny's signature. Mr
Kohny, in the fullness of his sorrow
says:-''Please take notice that my
wife. Pauline Kohny, form erly Man
heimer Abolat'-' Ph9bus what
name"-'' ''forty-five years old. has de
clared | am, with fifty-three years, toe
old to live with"
Mrs. Kohny is evidently an un
reasoning woman. Mr. kohny's age
is getting relatively nearer to hers
with every additional year. When
she was born he was eight times as
old as she. When she was eight he
was only twice her age. When she
was sixteen he was only one-third her
senior. Ultimately, therefore, she
must one day be as old as he.
This is an old gag, of course, but it
is very apropos to such a woman as
Mrs. Kohny. She ought to be too
greatly obliged to the man who
changed her name from Manheimer
Aholat tn Pauline Kohny ever to
think of his age.
Mr.. Kohny's next plant is more
peculiar still:-"She has left my home
while was at work an has taken all
my furniture, valua bles and her
mother without my consent" Now
what on earth did Mr.. Kohny want
of his wife's mother? Whoever be-
fore heard of man demanding that
his wife should ask his consent be-
fore depriving him of his mother-in-
law? Most men are so anxious to get
rid OF their mothers-in-law that their
consent may be assured. And men
have been known TO give their wives
three months vacation at the sea-
side on the sole condition that the
mother-in-law in each case should go
along, In this matter Mr.. Kohny is
even more unreasonable than his
wife when she objected to the dis
parity of age.
Mr.. Kohny also alleges that his
L. ~ nj ro n u
to keep her whereabouts unknown
among her numerous relatives. Now,
it is legal principle that one woman
can't form a conspiracy any more
than Dundreary's bird of feather
could flock by himself" Az to the
"secret conspiracy, that. at least,
could be forgiven her. A public con
spiracy could hardly be success.
But how can Mrs. Kohny-formerly
Manheimer Abolat-' keep her where
abouts unknown among her numer-
GUS relatives?n 1t doesn't seem pos
sible. True. she might board around
with numerous relatives and keep her
whereabouts unknown to Mr.. Kohny,
but that isn't the charge.
The upshot of it all is that Mr..
Kohny will not be answerable fol
any debt she may contract" There's
where Kohny is wrong. A woman
never contracts a debt. She gets into
debt, expands debt, initiates debt, but
never by possibility does she contract
debt. That isn't her business.
Still, Mr.. Kohny should encourage
his wife to spring a debt on him
if he really wishes to find her.
She can't go about running OF
jumping into debt for any great
length of time, or to any great
amount, without disclosing her where.
abouts. And when she does that il
will be very easy to catch her. Mr..
Kohny should put another advertise
ment in the Herald telling his wife &c
buy what she likes and send the bill
to him at once.