Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-04

oaulituluts kIunDicu luIs tuuRNtJeii
fumbling in one of the bureau drawers,
''I'd like to know where, in the name OF
common sense, you keep my socks"
"What pair do you want, Josiah" in
quired Mrs. Chugwater.
"Any pair, II they arc only mates.
| Here's an odd gray sock and an odd black
one, and down here in the corner is an old
pair OF last summers socks, with holes in
the toes don't see why my things can't
be kept in order, the same as other mems. I"
''If you had only told me-
'"rold youl Have got to run to you,
Mrs. Chugwater, for every little thing
wanti Is that your idea about the way 10
carry on the household businessi II you'd
| just take trouble enough to Pile things in
here so | can find 'em when want 'em 1t
would save me lots of bother"
Josiah IL you will let mel
snow, there's no use of your getting ex-
cited about this thing. II you know where
can get pair OF halfway decent socks
Just say 80, and I'll hunt 'em up, and IL
you don't know and will have the kindness
to put the fact In plain English I'll go out
and buy a pair That's all"
"If you hadn't tumbled these things all
out of shape, JOSIAH
'Tumbled them out of shape, have II
What's bureau drawer for, anyway Is
it to hide things in, madam IL | don't
find what | want on top haven't got TO
look down under, I'd like to knowf Any
woman that will pack and jam bureau
drawer full OF things, and arrange them sc
you've got to dig and claw all through the
whole business to get what you're after
and then don't get it, hasn't got the righi
idea about arranging mans haberdashery
II you know where my socks are, Mrs
Chugwater, why don't you say so. insteat
of standing around like a stoughton bottl,
and doing nothing~
II could have found them for you in
minute and saved you all this trouble 1
you had given me a chance" said Mrs
Chugwater, as she Strengthened out tn
tangle in the drawer and brought to view
I from one of the bottom corners five pair
OF clean socks. "When you want anything
r Of this kind hereafter, Josiah, IL you'll JUS
2 let me know
THE trouble with you, Samantha,
growled Mr.. Chugwater, as he jerked
/ pair from the top Of the pile and went OF
f, to one corner to put them on, sis that 20
: talk too much. "-Chicago Tribune.
A Cure for Insomnia.
! will have to improve his methods OF h
never will have patients enough 20 main
tain him. A woman came In to see hin
only two days ago looking haggard an,
pale.
"Well, f" he said, what Is itS"
"Pm troubled with insomnia" sh
sighed. What shall do for itr"
e sleep 1t off, madam; sleep it off," h
I advised CURLY and asked her for two do
e lars.-Detroit Free Press.
u Tired of Playing Lord FauntIeroy.
a There is one small boy In Brooklyn 1
whom the true American spirit is jus
trimming over lie Is real boy an
= doesn't want to be anything else. FL
some time he has been attending q dancin
>, school on The hill, where the youngstel
{ occasionally assemble in more or less fame
r array. This youth, who has just reache
the mature age OF seven years and SON
months, on such occasions has been clad
lovely suit OF velvet, with silken wal
and lace collar and cuffs of the patter
made familiar by Mrs. Frances Hodgso
Burnett's lachrymose little hero. tt
other day he came home and it was app
rent at once that he bore burden on h
mind. Finally, TO the astonishment of Il
amiable South Oxford street family 1
which he belongs. he broke out this way,
r I'm tired Of acting partp
$ "WhatT said the family chorus.
YES, Pm tired of acting a part II
tired OF being Little Lord Fauntlero,
The girls are all the time hollering. Helix
Fauntleroyr and I'm sick Of it."
Then turning toward the amazed famil
g circle he added. In a tone OF emphatic d,
Z fance:
y "You may think you can make dudes on
: OF some OF the men Of this family, but 10
can't out Of mep'-Brooklyn EA91e.