Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-01-24
THOSE CHEAP SMELLS.
NUlSANCES AND DEAD BEATS WHO
MASQUERADE AS MEN.

Literally, scores of men are familiar to
the public at large whose pretensions to
swelldom are 80 tfansparently false that
they almost approach the grotesque. Yet
as the years roll by they continue 30 float
about upon the surface of life, are always
to be found in public places, are on hand
at all state occasions, and at every notable
theatrical or public event, and apparently
enjoy most of the privileges of the elect of
the earth. After time the feeling of curl
osity about them dies away and that of
evaporation takes its place. They pose as
men about town, FOUNDERS" gentlemen of
leisure and the like Everybody knows that
they are penniless, yet they live on luxu-
ries. 1t is the cheap swell who stares wom-
en- out OF countenance at the theatres, who
infests the shopping streets in the early
part of the day, and gives his more sub
stantial and hard working fellow citizen
an immense amount of annoyance by his
arrogance and assumption in general.
There are two general classes of the CHEAP
swell in New York. One is composed of
the silly and pretentious young men who
pose to crafty an intense ambition and
who fancy that they deceive the world by
their society" airs; the other is the type
OF CANDY swell who uses his f1ashy attire and
assurance as the means of making living.
The source of the incomes of many of these
men of sham and imitation is often COM
mented upon. The majority of them have
no incomes at all, and they do not need
them, for they do not spend any money.
They keep up the semblance of life of
leisure and extravaganza without carving
it out in the slightest degree
ONE OF THE MILD TYPE
A typical case of this sort comes to the
writer's mind. For nearly two wears he
was constantly running across tall and
sallow young man, who always betrayed
an air of intense hauteur, and exhibited
all the signs of the world of cheap swell
dom. His manner was supercillious and
austere. He was always to be found in
Delmonico's just before and just after din
ner, and he was a prominent figure in the
theatre Hobbies. Whenever women of par
ticular attractiveness came along he stared
at them with an air of advanced imperti-
hence Occasionally he could be seen stand
ing up at the rear of a theatre, and between
the acts he was invariably to be found
stalking gloomiiy up and down in the most
pretentious of the neighboring cafes smok-
ing a cigarette, but never buying ANYTHING
to drink. After the opera he was ALWAYS
to be found in the Thirty-ninth street cor.
parently waiting for his carriage. He
moved about among people of wealth and
high social standing, staring at the ladies
ana arousinG universal feeling of indie-
nation among the men. He was ALWAYS in
evening dress, and his attire was distinctly
fashionable in cut, though there was some
thing IN his appearance which caused OBJ
serving men instantly to set him down as
an outsider. He aroused vague and IN
dehnable but pronounced feeling of ex-
asperation in every decent man whom he
met, and yet he never did anything which
would warrant an observer in thrashing
him. For two years the writer encountered
this particular parsonage everywhere he
went in New York, until one day he saw
him in earnest conversation with a well
known halter on Broadway
WHAT THE UNCLE SAID
Inquiry from the halter revealed the
fact that the pseudo swell was his nephew,
and not particularly popular nephew at
that
He has occupied a hall room in = Lex
ington avenue boarding house." the halter
said as he took UP the case of the Young
man, for nearly three years, and. though
the cost Of the room with board is only 81
a week, he has managed to ran in debt To
She is a silly old fool of woman who
thinks the cub has rich relatives and
big expectations, and who actually goes
down into the kitchen after she has fin
ished her work at II O'Clock at night and
irons his trousers and cleans his coats with
benzine for the following days parade. He
poses i'll the boarding house as II society
man, always eats the regular dinner there
ha,, h,
der the pretense that he is going out to n
party, n reception or something of that
sort at the house of some well known New
Yorker. For the rest of the night he
spends his time loafing about He's well
dressed loafer and nothing else Occasion
ally he runs errands or makes himself use
ful to n theatrical manager, and in that
way secures admission to the theatre.
Then again he viii manage to worm him
self into the good i;races of some young
man about town who IS careless AMI anna
BILE when he has been drinking u little, and
out OF this acquaintance he always man
ages to extract something substantial
either credit at a tailor's or a loan of one
sort or another OF course he never thinks
of doing any work"
This Is fair type Of the cheap swell who
is not vicious. OF course there are many
grades of the species, but they have all
managed in one way or another to adopt
such a peculiar look and manner that their
presence acts as an affront to men.
THE VICIOUS SWELL
The vicious type of the cheap swell is
more interesting because he not infre-
quentiy drifts from careless into criminal
relations with tradesmen, and occasionally
slips into schemes of trickery and fraud.
Every attentive reader of the newspapers
has from time to time run across the names
of men who have been sentenced to prison,
but had posed and been accepted by certain
people as men of leisure and social promi-
hence. There is no denying the universal
gullibiiity of mankind. large, breezy
and genial man, clad in the most advanced
style of raiment, can go down to Wall
street and into the offices of the most con-
seryative merchants and secure cash sub
scriptions for any kind of wildcat vent
ure. A modestly clad but thoroughly sub
stantial and reputable citizen could not
raise 500 in this fashion. A few DAYS ago
two suits were brought and won against
New Yorker who WIS always prominent in
club windows, who boosted not long ago