Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-14
Mrs. B. NYE,
Chimney Sweep.


You cannot blame me for thinking at
once Of my native land and our own
Bill Nye. Is this merely coincidence
or are you really English? Why is Mrs
b. Nye not allowed to print Chimney
Sweep to Her Majesty Is it possible
that the queen sweeps her own chin
neys, or may it be that the etfete mon
archy is jealous of the name OF Nye be-
cause borne by an illustrious American
and hence will not patronize Mrs b.
Nye2 Can it be that Mrs. B. Nye is too
high priced for the queeni But re-
frain. You can see to what the subject
leads, and in your own good time will
relieve my mind Of the clouds of mental
soot growing out of the above mo-
mentous subject. Very truly,
j. D. BowERsoCK.
p. Slave you been disappearing
"a Yankee all these years when, as q
matter of fact, you belonged to the
bloated aristocracyi
Several letters are waiting a reply in
these columns, and 1 take this opportu-
nifty to answer two of them, requesting
the writers of others to be patient until
lean more fully inform myself regarding
the matters inquired about 1t is very
difficult to answer important questions
without books of reference, and to carry
a library in a shawl strap while doing
one night business is nuisance. shall
answer all queries possible within the
knowledge of man and refer the balance
to Joseph Cook
Yes. we are Of English descent, al
though it is quite right smart Of
while since. We were influential will
the government there With the advent
of the Guelph outfit the Nyes took
long farewell pull at the public teat, ant
with tremendous sigh wiped off thel
chins and began course OF perslsten
industry at one dollar per day in tn
New World in order to reduce thei
weight.
NV ancestors on the left hand sid
coming down the family tree were ais
purveyors TO the royal household, an
one of the earlier kings used to buy
whole Goldfish at time at our plac'
Much of the early English humor whic
broke out at that time is now attribute
70 the free use of the buckwheat Hot
cold to His Royal Whiskers by our folk
who mad a place on the road near Il
royal ranch.
Our people were given, of course,
trade at that time. and one of them WI
embalmer to the king, doing all OF b
psnbalming undertaking and autop'
work. which in those days amounted
a good deal have the journal kept
this member Of the family for two
his busiest years. and judge that tim
were good with him.
II is painful now, of course, MIR. Bow
sock, to recur to those happy times VIII
we practically did n stiff business for
king and charged our own prices. A
cording to the journal, find such chars
as these, which show that the underta
ing business for many centuries
been, to all intents and purposes, WI
Aristotle characterizes as a dead cincf
lima - His Majesty, DR.. e.
To one days tune replacing yitals OF
man who incurred the royal dis
pleasure By putting sugar and cream
in his consomme at tabe............
To autopsy certifying that deceased
came TO his death bynaturai causes. ~
To ona gallon embalming fluid for
same ...s....s...s.+s-s.s.s..s
To hearse and carriages ..............- W
To axle grease for same. ............-..
In six extra whip crackers destroyed
In trying 20 get home ahead OF rival
funeral. .-........-.-.....
49,, .elm
You can readily see that times b