The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-12-20
THE WHOLE DUTY OFWOMAN
An Old Book Containing Much Valuable
Information on an Important Topic.
Shirley Dare Makes Liberal Extracts, Reserv-
ing Few Chapters for Personal Use, and
Offering Interesting Comment
Written for the Sunday Journal.

with the title: Tho Whole Duty of q
Woman; or, An Infallible Guide to the Fair
Sex. Containing Rules, Directions aud OBJ
servations for Their Conduct and Behavior
Through All Ages and Circumstances in
Life, as Virgins, Wives and Widows"
Perhaps this book is what some of us
have been looking for and rejoice to find,
though late. As life is short. let rs hasten
to learn the whole duty of o woman, as
held in 1881. the date of this cherished relic
The good advice of the first ten chapters
cannot spare, for / need it all myself. In
sooth. it is a sweet and searching monitor
in its chapters "Of Modesty." "Of Meek
ness" "Of Compassion" and "Of Alta
bility."
Tho manner of behavior toward mon has
some plain-spoken advices. to use o phrase
in keeping. as when it bids women have
mo ill-bred affected shyness nor a rough
ness unsuitable to their sex and unnCces-
sary to their virtue, but looks that forbid
without rudeness aud obllge without invi-
tation. or leaving room for the saucy infer
ences mans vanity suggests to them upon
the least encouragement"
Plain enough is the encomium on an
other character of the g0Od-humored wom-
an, who thinks she must always be in q
laugh or broad smile. because u good
humor is an Obliging quality. This neces-
city of appearing at all times to be so
pleased Is a grievous mistake, since in q
handsome woman that invitation Is unnec-
eSsary, and in one W no is not so ridiculous"
Conquest" we are told, lis 30 tempting
thing that it often makes women mistake
mems submissions. which, with all their
fair appearances have generally less re-
spect than art in them. Women should re-
member that men who say extreme line
things many times say them most for their
own sakes. and that the vain gallant is
often as well pleased with his own compli-
ments as he could be with the kindest
answer"
Most shrewd and experienced monitor,
P0l0ni0us to his daughter Nowoman's hand
ever revealed this fine-edged truth. What
woman's mind was ever free from webs of
vanity enough to admit this, when men
said courtly compliment to herf Small
wonder that the authors name was with
held, since he had it in mind to speak such
cutting truths.
One advice to conclude this head is, that
women should every seven years make
some alterations in them toward the graver
side. not like the girls of fifty. resolved to
De always young. whatever time with his
natural things carry a deformlty in them
never to be disguised; the iiveliness of
youth in ripper age looks like new patch
upon an old gown; SO that a gay matrOn.
the list of the tanner kind of monsters. Such
an old butterfly is of all creatures the most
ridiculous and the soonest found ont
Mark we'll the distinction. 1t is unnatural
liveliness carries the deformity, the effort
to be sprightly when one feels least like il.
There is strong vitality which keeps its
green far into November, which looks well
and elastic because it is well, and the
spring is not and perhaps never will be out
of its veins, AS well quarrel with eli
m a "a IN a In mt mr. n q ~
whose well-ordered lives have left them
the clear eyes and unfaded cheeks. the
spirits and the wit of their prime, far past
fifty. As well censure DR.. Holmes for his
jaunty step and alert look as he goes down
the sunny side of School street, because
most men are bent and grim at his years.
Such perennial freshness is q hopeful omen
for the race. q possibility which we may all
share with good treatment
sNOw-BALLs VS.. BULLETS.
But there is no comment necessary for
the next passage, which Is pithy enough to
fix itself in minds which need it: 1.-THE ad-
vantages of being reserved are too many to
set down. We will only say that it is a
guard to good woman and disguise to
an i'll. 1t is one of so much use to both
that those ought to use 1t as an artiiice who
refuse to practice it as virtue"
The next chapter is OF female friendships
and censure, though why the two ore COUP
led may give us a thought. A strict care In
choice Of friendships is recommended. with
demure observation that perhaps the best
are not without their objections" The
cautions In those cases are the old ones,
not to make hasty and violent likings. or
TO put ones self in the power Of weak con-
fidants. advice we all approve and cast to
the winds when craving human hearts de-
mand at least the pretense OF cordial in
terest and the relief of fancied trust Those
are fortunate who can make themselves
their own best friend and confident
But the discourse on ceDsure shows most
explicitly the handling of man of the
world and of line feeling. while an aver
sion to W hat 10 criminal and q contempt of
what Is ridiculous are inseperable from ul-
derstanding and virtue. there is great dan
ger in letting our opinions 90 further than
our own thoughts. Unlimited liberty of
censure is little less than sending herald
and proclaiming war to the world, which is
an angry beast when SO provoked" We
must take heed of laughing at people eX-
cept In company that IS very sure. It
is throwing snOwballs against bullets
and it is the disadvantage OF a woman that
the malice OF the world will help the bru-
tally OF those who will throw q slovenly
untruth upon her.
She is for this reason to suppress her i'm
patience for fools. who, beside they are
too strong party to be unnecessarily pro-
this case. The triumph OF wit Is to make
good naturs subdue censure; to be quick in
seeing faults and slow in exposing them.
TO he kindly used by the world is like q
glory about q woman's head; 1t is q per-
fume che carries about her and leaves
wherever she goes; it is a charm against
ill-will. Malice may empty her culver.
but cannot wound; the dirt will not stick,
the tests will not take. Without the con-
sent of the world scandal does not 90
deep. 1T is only slight stroke upon the in
jured party and turns with the greater
force upon those who gave it.
ENsLAvING ADVICE TO WOMEN.
This is the very gold of worldly wisdom.
coinage for which one would not sell ones
soul: no, nor stoop to ever so slight evasion
or deceit. But the mere keeping still, re-
training from idle criticism or jest upon an
other, how safe, how wiseItis. and how well
the world inclines to reward such forbear-
| ance. sane person cannot tolerate the
| smeary touch of the professionally amlable
| person w ho says agreeable things that leave
| YOU with sensation of being handled with
honey -daubed fingers. But the person who
through preoccupation or fair feeling
simply omIts TO be spitefui. how comfort
| able is an hour of his society.
| There is curious lore between these
| pages less ons III the deeper cares of q
| womans life, "Of Behavior to a Drunkard.
and Behavior to Jealons Husband" and
ITO Husbands Relatives" the model ev
| cry where being patient Grizel, and an Of
band adore his ill-used wife and compelled
the affection of cOntemptuous relations IL
law and sent a good many more Grizelda
| blessed with every virtue fading into