Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-09-16
Drops the Wrong Coin.

Attached to the backs of every al
ternate parquet chair in some of the
theatres there is a peculiar shaped
nickel-plated box put there for the
benefit of the occupant of the seat be-
hind the chair to which this is attach
ed. Inscribed upon the box is the in
formation that by placing dime in
the slot and turning the thumbscrew
to the right pair of opera glasses
can be had for use during the perfor-
nance. One of these little boxes in
one of the uptown theatres was, the
other evening, the Innocent cause of
considerable amusement and discom-
fure of a very fresh young American
who essayed to play sharp trick on
the opera glass scheme and its schem-
er.
"Ah! I intended to engage pair
of glasses outside, don't ye know, but
I'll just try pair of these in the box;
they say they are very good-excel-
lent, don't ye know" said he, loud
enough to be heard good distance
around him. The play had just be-
gun and he was in hurry. He stood
up to take off his overcoat to the an
noyance of dozen or so behind him,
instead of having done so in the lob
by. When taking his seat he found
it necessary to stand up again to search
in his trousers pocket for the necessa-
ry dime. He found what he wanted
and, placing leftover piece careful
ly back in the pocket, sat down and
dropped the one he had in his hand
in the slot.
He turned the screw according to
directions, but the box failed to keep
its part of the contract. He tugged
this way and that until he succeeded
in getting the wraps all on the floor
and the attention of those around him
called to the dilema into which he was
getting himself. He worked and
squirmed and twisted until his face
grew red and large beads of perspira-
ton gathered on his plastic brow and
trickled down his burning checks
yet no opera glasses. He next bent
over and peeped up under the box to
ascertain if there was not hook or
button which required attention as
a part of the opening process, but
neither hook, catch, nor button was
there to need attention. He ejaculat-
ed something about COMPOUNDED
and vigorously turned the
screw backward and forward, and he
shook the box until it ratified like an
old bicycle lamp-and all without
avail. Then he sat down and gave
the short balance of the first act a rest
which was more than his lady friend
did for him. She made number of
serio-comic remarks about the ingenu-
ity of slots and the open generosity of
some wealthy people who gave away
vast sums of money for charitable pur-
poses without the least expectation of
reward in this world.
During the intermission he tackled
the box again and picked at the slot
with blade of his penknife with a
view of compelling the box to do what
it ought to with that dime and let him
have the use of his glasses. Finally,
after resorting to many unsuccessful
attempts to get it open, he began tap
ping the box sharply with the head of
his umbrella, hoping to jar the dime
into its proper place, but it was not the
dime that got Jared. The occupant
of the chair to which the box was at.
tached, gentleman with straight,
strange looking hair and fierce mus
tache, turned and asked the young
man why he did not "send for num-
ber of government contractors and get
estimates on having the box removed
and save that dime from total loss"
This sally had the effect of producing
a general snickering in that locality,
in which the lady he was escorting
joined, and just as the bell rang up
the curtain on the second act he drew
the other piece of money from his
pocket and slipped it into the slot,
gave the screw twist, and got the
glasses without further trouble. The
next morning there was found in the
box dime and a three cent piece. 1t
was the little, insignifcan looking,
but proud and provoking three center
which caused all the trouble and
by refusing to perform the
services of common everyday dime.
Washington Star.