davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
Ingalls,, Irrevarence.

Although the lean statesman from Kansas
didn't make very resounding crash when
he tumbled off his perch, the Rev. DIR.
Dixon, Of New York, drew some orthodox
deductions of a wholesomely pious tendency
last Sunday from the incidents leading up
to the senator's overthrow, and the circum-
stances attendant thereupon.
Describing the Kansan's recent political
utterances the good doctor dwelt upon them
with rather bitter severity.
Some time ago." he said, Senator John
]. ingalls,, of Kansas, went out of his way
to express the opinion that the Decalogue
and Golden Rule are out Of place in a
political campaign. He also took. occasion
TO heap his unmeasured contempt on those
who were panied at the corruption of med
ern politics. These people he character.
lied with whitening gall as sexless senti-
mentalists.
''In later speech of Senator ingalls, he
exhibits a wonderful change in tone. In a
speech on the silver question he goes out of
his way to record feeble deathbed repent
ance of the vile sentiments formerly ex-
pressed as sort of desperate attempt to
propitiate the angry divinity assembled at
Topeka, then bordering the question of his
successor"
To those irreverent utterances from a
public man the doctor seems Inclined to
ascribe Mr.. Ingalls, ultimate defeat.
Eventually, contends the minister, the peo-
pie at large are conscientious and swayed
by christian sentiment; and he insists that
they do believe in the Decalogue and the
Golden Rule. This he maintains they have
conclusively shown in Kansas
On that point, however. even the better
class of well-informed politicians will not
be able to quite agree with the divine. They
will attribute Mr.. Ingalls, dismissal to more
practical reasons. 1t was probably far
more due to his crafty course in politics and
| finance. His constituents would not longer
tolerate his sel1shness. While not generally
disposed to approve his tendency TO scott,
the people probably dropped Ingalls, because
his political and pecuniary views and pur-
poses were away out of harmony with their
own. They were tired of his constant and
senseless attacks upon the south.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
BRIGHT BITS


TEAcHER-why does Great Britain support
royalty?
Pupil-Because royalty cannot support itself
Epoch.
JuDaE-Hem! Your yer let seems decidedly
mixed.
in accordance with the evidence.-Good
Ne1s.
WHY do you call the boys in the galleries the
GODS MIR, Tragedicus?''
ITO distinguish them from the devils who sit
in the orchestra chairs and write criticisms"
st. GATHERINGS Journal.
ETHEL-Do you think there will be marriages
In heavenf
Maud-For your sake trust so, dear Etern-
ity may furnish you the opportunity which time
refuses-Netc York Herald.
ST. PETER-What's the matter at the portal?
Sprit-one of the Four Hundred has ar
rived and refuses to go In by the regular gate.
He wants to know where the stockholders en-
trance is.-NetU York Herald.
do YOU KNOW" the preacher asked, in low,
earnest accents that money takes wingsH"
II am not sure of it," solemnly replied Fayro,
"but I've often seen it brought down on long
shots.-MiiloaNsee Sentinel.
Mr. CoENT1Es Ito visiting friend)-That gem
tleman yonder Is one of our most prominent
society leaders.
Mr.. Dearborn-Indeed- what is his soci-
ETY. for the prevention of?-Puck
LET me fly to your BOSOM she said in most
tragic tones.
II don't want any flies ON me-" he protested
But am only little fly" she urged.
II hope not he said critically, and she
Scelded him for being so smart washington
Post
GEoRGE-Give me a kisss
Lucinda-Yes, If you will give me what you
haven't got, never had, never will have, and yet
can give.
GeorSe-Jerusalem
Lucinds-No-a- husband. Echoes Of the
Week. br p
LET the e. O. D. wear mourning.
While the bloody shirt it tears,
Vitriolic John Jeems Ingalls,
Hath crawled up the golden stairs.
--Nele Orleans NeIo Delta.
81 UNDERSTAND there is company in New
York that will furnish dudes for escorts, OF for
use at germans and cotillons, when there is a
shortage of men"
i've heard of that saw one of their signs
the other day in Hariem-'Flats to let. "
HdTper'S Bdzdr.
ATTEND christians, to a savage heathen's cry /;
We are tired of tough missionary pot-pie;
With the next one send wife both young and
tender.
That we with good grains and rice may sweetly
blend her.
Conversion Is now simply out of question
When suff ring from this dread Indigestion.
Puck,
81 SUPPOSE observed the exchange editor
with whitening look at the financial editors
new ross-barred coat you thought that gar
ment would be appropriate for your depart
ment because it's in checks"
mo, sir, d" retorted the financial editor scorn-
fully defiant. 81 got it o protect myself from
the draughts. Chicago Tribune.
MAMMA (cosxingly(--Come, Bobby, take your
medicine now, and then jump into bed.
Boboy-I do not want to take my medicine,
ma
Rather Qwho knows how to govern children)-
Robert, If You don't take your medicine at
once you viii be put to bed without taking it at
ell. =, - $50 -
Bobby takes it promptly. Chicago Nsps.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Concensus of opinion among the New
York newspaper reporters seems to agree
that the ever unique but never corpulent
Sarah Bernhardt Is just as bright and oh ic
and charming as ever. She also carries
around with her the usual number of wild
beasts and reptiles that she calls her pets.
She had quite an enthusiastic greeting of
thespians and journalists down the bay
from New York. and is actually charged
with conforming to the usual theatrical
rule by saying she was glad to be in
America" That's the way the advertising
usually begins. Admiring friends say that
she is SO much improved that she actually
looked full Evidently drama with snakes
in ii agrees with her. Probably it is just
what she has lacked all these many years.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
ssnator-elsc. Rrics,s RESIDENCE.

The enemies Of Senator-eect Brice of
Ohio, viii give him no rest until he has
taken his seat in the United States Senate.
When he was elected senator they made the
point that be was not resident Of Ohio. IL
was satisfactorily shown. however. that he
was. The evidence be presented left no
room for a reasonable doubt that his legal
residence was in Ohio.
On Monday resolution was introduced
into the Ohio legislature 70 prevent his
admission into the Senate as a senator from
that state. All the allegations that have from
time to time been made to show that he was
resident Of New York are contained In
the resolution. It Is no doubt true that Mr..
Brice has spent the most of his time in New
York city for a number OF years. He has
large business interests there which require
his constant attention. He has always been
careful, however, to have it understood
that his residen was in Ohio. He has
kept a house in that state and his leisure
time has been spent at his old home there.
There is no one Of the allegations in the
resolution introduced into the Ohio legis-
lature that cannot be satisfactorily an
swered.
The Ohio republicans do not of course ex-
pect they will be able to cheat Mr.. Brice
out Of the senatorship, but they hope to
weaken his influence by raising a doubt as
to his right TO the senatorial Office. At one
time they charged that he secured his cleo
ton by bribery. but not being able to prove
the charge they abandoned it, And the
resolution in question will be abandoned. The
republicans p etend that it is serious mat
ter but the democrats treat it as a joke.
1t is safe to say that Mr.. Brice will take
his seat in the Senate. and that he will be-
come very quickly one of the most useful
members Of that body. He is a man who
can do a vast amount of work, and do it
well. In the Senate he will be known as a
working member, not a talking one. The
time to have pressed the charge now brought
against him was when he was a candidate
for senator. To press it now indicates a
purpose to annoy him, not desire to further
the ends of Justice.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the following
places where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained;
NEW YORK CITY
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w. w SaAsP & Co, 81 Park Row.
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AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
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CHICAGO
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CINCINNATI
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ATLANTA
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MACON
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
A Dodge of His Own.

During crowd the other day on Fourteenth
street, near Fifth avenue, says the
New York Sun, very solid man was
pushing his way through the mass of human
ity. when he encountered pale, thin young
man with the look Of a consumptive. The big
man did not swerve hair, and the thin young
mans elbow, which was held out at an angle,
took him in the left side The big man gave a
gasp, followed by a curse, and nearly lost his
balance while the other passed on as cool as
ice. lie had turned aside to gaze into window
when the big man came up and said:
Friend, want to feel of your right elbow,
the one you gave me dig with back there"
''Oh, certainly, was the reply, as the elbow
was extended.
"Why--why-it's hard as iron!''
'Yes, it is iron. That is, have an iron cap
made for it. Just fit, as you see, and padded
with flannel It's an invention of my own.
Haven't long to live, and don't want TO surren-
der any of my rights and privileges You are
No. % to-day-all big men. American hog vs..
the iron elbow, you see Elbow always comes
out ahead. Good day"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
index TO NEW ADVERTBEMENTS

MEETINGS Haupt Lodge No. IS, L o. o. F.:
Solomon's Lodge No. /, F. and A. NJ; The
Workman's and Traders Loan and Building
Association; Fidelity Castle No. :, K. G. E.
Workingmen's Benevolent Association.
SPECIAL NorIoKs-Notice of Copartnership.
Edwards Trenholm; ONCE for Rent, Herman
Myers; A Cup of Van Houten's Coffee Free
Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Our GREATEST SUcoEss-Dryfus Bros.
ToURJEE's EXCURSION TO EUROPE. Tour
Zee Boston, Mass.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULEs-Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
CHEAP COLUMN Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale: Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
Jupen sEvrnrNs and United States Attorneys

JUDGE SEvERENs and United states Attorneys
Palmer and Stevens go to Marquette, Mich, to
open court July 22, and there is a large grist
awaiting them. Among the cases is one which
is known among the officials as the sausage
case" In July of last year the postofice at
Calumet was broken into by wouldbe burglars,
their work. A number of citizens gave chass
and followed them for some distance, but they
escaped. During the fight one Of the fugitives
dropped a package of sausage, and this was
picked up and held as evidence. Two men were
arrested a day or two later, corresponding with
the description OF the burglars, and the butcher
identified them as the men who had purchased
the sausage. They were to have been brought
up for trial last September, but on the night
before the trial one of the prisoners
broke jail and is still at liberty The trial of his
correspondents was put Off until the coming term
of court, in the hope Of catching the escaped
prisoner He has not been found, however. and
the case viii proceed. The sausage has been
held as evidence and will be introduced in court
as such, notwithstanding its age ana gray hairs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
TOO Thin" a Classic Phrase,

A correspondent writes to the New York
Tribune: ''You state the case very mildly as
to the English origin Of the phrase too thin,
which, perhaps. isn't a slang phrase at ali
The fact is, it is English from way back In
Smollett's 'Peregrine Pickle the hero informs
Emilia that he is going abroad This brings
tears to her eyes, but she says they are caused
by the hot tea which she is pouring Which
leads the author to remark that the excuse was
too thin to impose on her lover. The phrase is
also found in Shakespeare's Henry VIII, Act 5,
Scene 2, with the same meaning"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
A Mistake About Sarah.

The New York reporters were greatly
astonished when they saw Sarah Bernhardt
at her hotel in that city on Monday. They
had been told that she had grown fat. They
found that she resembled darning needle
as much as ever
Her arrival in New York was expected
on Sunday, but adverse winds delayed the
ship on which she was a passenger thirty
hours, and Sarah was sick nearly the whole
of the voyage. She therefore appeared
leaner than usual on her arrival. The re-
porters gathered about her in her parlor at
her hotel and gazed at her with something
like amazement expressed in their faces. At
last one Of them ventured to say: Madame,
we have lately heard that you have accumu-
lated great deal Of fat. Where is the
fat"
This question appeared to put the great
actress in a rage. She has terrible tenn
per. Springing to her feet, widely waving
her arms, her eyes dancing and her fine
thin nostrils dilating. she exclaimed. WHO
said l was fatl Have ever been fat9
Am fat now2 Look at me
and tell me if it is possible that
that l should ever become fat! l have
heard of that before, and do not like it. 1t
makes me furious. Everyw here go now 1
hear nothing but fat, fat, fat"
The reporters were partly paralyzed at
her vehemence. As soon as they recovered
they oried out together: mo, you are not
fat" And then Sarah appeared to be paci-
fed and talked to the newspaper men in an
interesting manner. Sarah is not fat. She
doesn't want to be fat, and she never will be
fat. And yet, if she had reasonable
amount Of fat she would be a much more
comely woman than she is.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Vivid imagination but imperfecsly de-
scribes the fantastic fancy Of the romancer
who started that Topeka story of the
Louisiana negro who is alleged to have
only recently discovered that slavery has
been abolished, and finds himself regretting
that he remained a slave over time If the
enterprising chronicler was very hard up
why couldn't he tell us something more about
the latest fabulous sums offered for that
Cherokee strip. By the exercise of some
ingenuity he might have made that pass
ably plausible story.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
Registered at TIE Postoeice in savann1h


The MoRNISG NEws is published every day in
the year and is served to subscribers IN the cify
At Is cents week 81 90 month, - W Tor SIX
months and SO 90 for one year
The MORNING NEWS, by mail one month,
81 90; three months, 50 30; six months, - OOi
one year, SO 90.
The MoRNING NEWS, By mail, six times week
(without Sunday issuel, three months, 20 co.
six months. 81 90; one year, IS 90.
The MoRHING NEWS. Tr-Weekly, Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays. or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays, three months, 81 % SIX
months. So 50; one year, IS 90
The SUNDAY NEWS. By mad, one year, g Co
The WEEKLY NEvs, bV BIdll, one year, 81 y
postal order, check or registered letter. Cur
rency Sent by mail at risk of senders
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
s' AioRNING News" Savannah, Ga
Transient advertisements, other than special
column. local or reading notices. amuse-
rnents and cheap or want column, 10 cents a
line. Fourteen lines Of agate type-equal TO
one inch space in depths the standard of
measurement Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

1t is said that the hostility of the members
of the farmers alliance to Senator Ingalls, is
something that nobody seems to understand.
But that they have an intense dislike for
him there is no doubt. This sentiment is
even felt by the wives Of alliancemen, who
Brighten their children into quiet by the
threat they will let ingalls, catch them. And
this is Ingalls, reward, after eighteen years.
service in the Senatel But the southern
people have no reason to offer him sympa>
thy. He has seldom had kind word to say
for the south.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
A Child's Laugh.

Algernoa @. Stoinburne.
All the bells of heaven may ring,
All the birds of heaven may sing,
All the wells on earth may spring,
All the winds on earth may bring
All sweet sounds together.
Sweeter far than all things heard,
Hand of harper, tone of bird.
Sound of woods at shutdown stirred,
Willing waters winsome word,
Wind in warm, wan weather.
One thing yet there is that none
Hearing ere its chime be done
Knows not well the sweetest one
Heard of man beLeath the sun,
Hoped In heaven hereafter.
Soft and strong and loud and light,
Very sound of very light,
Heard from mornings rosiest hight,
When tho soul of all delight
Fills chlld's clear laughter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

South Dakota appears TO be drifting into
Generalization early in its youth. APP
parently it has fallen into the hands of old
political hacks from the east, who believe
in the thrifty methods of practical politics.
Bribery seems to be one of the most con-
spicuous influences employed in the choice
of United States senators. Votes seem tn
range at present from $500 to 81, 900, with a
strong market and an upward tendency
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Replying to a protest from Cherokee
chiefs against being dispossessed Of their
stone quarry on the Cherokee strip
Secretary Noble insists that they
are beyond their boundaries and must skip
Off tho strip. Such a decision must make
the peaceful Cherokees feel disposed to
Nm isa and swat the SECRETARY
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Western prohibitionists are said to be
just as dead broke as if they had been out
on a protracted spree. Jealous leaders are
now trying to devise a scheme for the pur-
pose Of pulling the organization together
and raising funds for another campaigning
excursion for the orators. Raising political
enthusiasm without any teddy in it is
rather difficult operation, however.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Since the New York Star became Con-
tinent it is naturally somewhat reduced in
size from a whole planet; but it is much
brighter than that nocturnal luminary ever
was, and it's as crisp and breezy as Sep
TENDER morning. No doubt but Editor
Frank Munsey will make "go" of it if
there is any go in it. For he is one of those
hustlers who know how to hustle.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Richmond promises to erect an imposing
monument to Jefferson Davis IL Mrs Davis
will allow the dead leaders, remains to be
removed to the Virginia capital Still
Richmond would probably contribute iber-
ally even though the body should remain at
New Orleans. Removal should not be made
an indispensable condition to properly honor
ing the dead.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
OUR NEW YORK. OFFICE.

Mr.. J. ]. Flynn, General Advertising Agent
n the MORNING NEWS, ONCE % Park Row.
Few York. All advertising business outside of
The states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro-
lina " III be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
Persplration Is what They Propose

Fom the Chicago Inter Ocean (Rep.l
The spirit of Tippecanoe is not dead yet. The
old Tippecanoe Club has decided that there is
work for il to do so long the elections bill re-
mains unpassed, and the veterans are going to
get out and hustle.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Chilean citizens still continue their inter-
necine scuffie with somewhat bloody and
disastrous results. How much people can
damage themselves and one another when
they allow temper and obstinacy to get the
better of theml
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Hardening steel plates has been attempted
and proven successful at Sheffield. England,
by the use of oil in the annealing expert
ment. Such a plate resisted a shot which
shattered similar plate not SO treated.
While the oil-hardened plate smashed the
shot the untreated plate was readily
punctured. Making impenetrable ships
armor is progressing ranidlY
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Gallant Col. Bob IngersoIl says that Mr..
and Mrs. Cleveland are sure to bear the
democratic standard in 1892. But the
colonel omitted to add that they will also
grasp the victory that is easily within their
ranch
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

LOVING MoTHER-Do you still kneel down
every night and say your prayersI
Son (who lives in the cty)-I say my prayers
mother, but don't kneel
Mother-Can it be possible that you have SO
far forgotten my early teachings!
Son-No, mother; but I'm fraid the folding
bed might double up with me.-LiIe.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Despite the first stories of fatal results
from his fall, Lieut.. Schwauka is said to be
fairly on the road to recovery. But his
physicians fear that he Is manned for life,
Notwithstanding his rapid progress toward
convalesceuce.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

London law makes aged Editor Duncan
Of the Matrimonial Netcs pay pretty
literally for trifing with the 21-year-old
affections of Miss Gladys Knowles. She is
to get s32,5oO from the giddy old fiirt if the
court can find that much money belonging
tn HIM
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Ex-Goy. Bullock, of this state, is reported
as saying that ex-President Rutherford B.
Hayes might be the most available repub-
lcan candidate for President in 1892. What
sort Of an opinion must the ex-governor
have of the presidential timber of his
partyl
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
CURRENT COMMENT.

It Is to Be Snort Engagement.
From the Louisville Courier-JotrrGi (Dern.l
With four years more Of republican rule no
Secretary of the Treasury would be needed.
There would be nothing for secretary to do.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

To overcome the marks OF age, all who
have gray boards should use Buckinghams
Dye for the whiskers, the best and cleanest
dye made for coloring brot0n or bIack,-Ad,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
Gallant and Correct.

From the Ne,c York Continent Qnd.l
Recent events have shown the urgent neces-
sity of law compelling medical students to
practice only upon themselves. If young
Harris had taken the morphine he prescribed
for Miss Potts the world would he better off to-
Aax
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Young Kaiser William is turning his back
upon all Of the old advisers Of bis father
and grandfather. Count Won Waldersee
has only gone along with the rest.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05
That's His Plain Platform.
E,on The Boston Herald INDY

Senator Teller doesn't wish to be misunder-
stood. His explanation that he never promised
to support the force bill; that be neve had sup.
ported it, and that he never will support it, is
sufficiently explicit to solve even Senator Hoar S
perplexities.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

South America republics seem inclined
to regard blaine's reciprocity scheme as
great idea. They like it nightly and talk of
adopting it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-05

Nobody need suffer from IanguOr or melan-
chOly If they take simmons Liver Regulator.
I'D.