St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-02-03
SAINT PAUL.
A POLICE SYMPOSIUM.

own lines lOr III, anu llt 10 SuppooSu "
have been in love with her. There was
a Snorer at the central police station last
night though. whose performance is be-
leved to be the most remarkable on
record. and to entitle him, if not to eu-
logy in verse, at least to a common
newspaper paragraph. This gentle
man. an attache of a morning paper.
whose duty keeps him at the station
until 3 o'clock a. M, was seated i'll the
private office. He was snugly en-
Sconced in the depths OF a particularly
comfortable chair reserved for the chief
of police and reporters, and had fallen
asleep-sound asleep. His presence
there would scarcely have been sus-
pected but for the remarkable phenom-
ena which forms the basis of this story.
The half dozen newspaper men ana OF
ficers sitting III the outer Office were
suddenly brought to a realization OF the
presence of another by the lsSu-
ance from the inner office OF
deep bass snore. This in itself would
have excited scarcely even passing COM
ment, bnt when that SnOre, after rev
gyrations similar to the preliminary
iangle of one of Edison's musical phono-
graphs, resolved itself into distinctly
correct information of Johnny get your
gun" every man in the place prIcked
UP his ears and listened. There was no
doubt about it. The strains were all
too familiar, and one by one the listen
ers stole to the door of the apartment
occupied by the involuntary Snorer and
breathlessly caught every accent as 1t
fell from that gifted pTObOclS. Suddenly
there was a gasp, restless movement
of the sleeper, and then silence Some
thing had gone wrong with the mechan-
ism. Some one suggested dropping
nickel in the slot, but the suggestion
didn't prevail. Instead the high tenor
of the party softly hummed Annie
Rooney" and the result was almost in
stanteneOuS. There were few rasp-
ing notes from the sleeper, which soon
were merged into a gentle snore,
and the snore into magnificent
oboe production of "Annie Rooney
The tenor hummed several more famil-
lar airs. and every time the snorer
snored them Off with automatic pre-
cision. A GLOBE representative last
evening consulted several medical men
as to whether there was OH record any
instance of similar phenomenon. All
agreed that it was the most remark
able performance on record. The mat
ter has been brought to the attention of
the museum managers, and it is under
stood that a liberal offer will be made
the talented journalist to sleep in an
arm chair at the museum for week or
two.
Lieut. Sch yeitzer, of police head
quarters, has Of late been appropriating
a good deal of fame which is not right
fully his, and as the sinner is invariably
found ont at length, so last night came
exposure of the true facts in this case.
On the occasion of the Junior Pioneer
pail, recently given, a young man OF
short stature and ford complexion, who
bore 4 marked resemblance to Schweit-
ger, was noticed and sought by every
girl in the room asa particularly ac-
complished WaltZer. Every one thought
it was the police lieutenant, and as
cribed the slight difference in his APP
pearance to the fact that he wore dress
suit. Since the dance the latter has
been the recipient OF all sorts of COM
pllmentS from fair inns as a result of his
supposed pr0Wess on the polished floor;
and, sad to relate, he has accepted them
with as much grace as though they were
his. Last night a party of
ladies and gentlemen were discussing
the ballroom celebrities of the season.
incidentally the hero of the evening of
the Pioneers dance was spoken of, and
the police lieutenant was being eulo-
giZed by admirers OF the sKillful dancer.
Then some fellow who knew who the
light-toed Waltzer was threw thunder
bolt into the assembly. He asserted
positively that, although the dancers
name was SchWeitZer. it was not the
SchweitZer of the police force, but his
brother Albert, who had been the pet of
the ball on the occasion referred to.
Al SchWeitZer couldn't dance a year
ago, but there is nothing like
perseverance, and this season he dancea
like ballet girl. He had been attend
ing classes for three months in anticipa-
ton of that ball, and it was his first
night on the floor. He made hit right
from the start, and it is only fair that
the fame which rightfully belongs to
him should be WreSted from the grasp
of his constituencies relative.
Police Officer Mattock had the closest
call the other night that ever befel him.
MattOck was on the Seven corners beat.
and as the night was cold, had pulled
the ear flaps of his regulation cap down
round his face. A peculiar result of
this was that, while the flap kept out
the cold. it also prevented the officer
from hearing distinctly. This being
the case, MattOck stood with his
back to an advancing electric car
totally obliviOnS Of Its approach, while
the driver yanked away at the gong in
vain effort to acquainU the Bohemian
gentleman Of his proximity. All was in
vain. Mattock stood as though frozen
to the spot until the car was within two
feet of him and brought TO Standstill
by the frantic eXertions of the motor
man. Then the copper. who was I'M
mersed Iii a blaze Of light from the
head lamp OF the car, turned round, ex-
claimed, "Mine Colt! Guess my name
vas pretty near pants, don't it?" and
sided out of the way.
a scene was witnessed by the officers
of the plight force at the Margaret street
police station last evening than which
none more intensely dramatic could be
conceived. Shortly after o'clock a call
was rung in for the wagon, and a few
moments after its departure the door
opened TO admit a young lady who had
called to report the loss of a bracelet.
She was handsome girl, richly dressed,
ana the lieutenant, anxious to do the
h0norS of the station house in befit-
ting manner, offered her the best chair
in the place, and then proceeded to take
down a description of the lost bracelet.
This took several minutes, and, just as
the young woman was about to leave,
the patrol wagon drove up, the door
opened and the conductor brought in
prisoner.
charge this man with vagrancy,'' he
said, and then proceeded to search the
prisoner.
The eyes Of the visitor and the vagrant
met. they stared painfully at one an
other for moment, and then the girls
face turned ashen eoIored as she
whispered:
Jim! Isn't that you, Jim?"
There was no answer from the pris-
Oner, except to turn his back to the
questiOner; but his face, too, wassdeath-
like in its hue. There were tears in his
eyes as he said to the officer:
For Gods sake lock me up quick:
she's my sister,"
The ears of love were quick to hear,
though, and with Shrek that appalled,
even the policemen, used as they are to