Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-19

Nye as an Etruscan...
tumely on people who had moved into
Jerusalem recently. They were naughty
people, who worshiped a whole city d.
rectory of gods, refused to work and were
often found on the petit jury list
Historians do not agree as to the origin Of
were of Lydian origin, while others hold
that they came from away down East
Herodotus claims that they were Of Lydian
stock and that he had it from the Lydians
themselves, but those who know Herodotus
will remember that he was a space writer
whose best interviews were all written at the
office while in a state of remorse. They
were bold in war and enterprising in bust
ness. Their standing army rarely sat down
and their navies were seldom seasick. ALL
this was the case up to about 586 B. c.
to the best of my recollection. After that
they had the air of being checked up too
high. Their pride prevented them from
sweating and they perspired very little,
too.
Troubled With Brain Fag Very Early.
Finally their letters were all "dictated"
to stenographer by private secretary,
and q century or SO later we find the Etrus-
cans suffering from brain fag before their
whiskers broke out They sat for hours
trying to remember back to when they were
young people, but finally gave it up. They
did not marry outside of their set at all,
and so managed to confne all the broad
heritage of antique and ancient diseases,
which many generations of Incidence, inso-
lence and rich victuals had engsndered, to
their own proud but bilious race.
And 80 at last, Wanda, they petered out,
to use the glowing words of Livy, and the
places that knew them once now knows
them no more forever. Think of it. Seven
hundred and fifty years before the boom
struck Rome the Etruscans were q powerful
nation, with glorious history, q heritage
of liberty for the purpose of forking over to
posterity and war debt. Later on trouble
broke out with the Romans themselves,
many Etruscaas having been skinned, 1t
would seem, by INSCRIPTIONS real estate
dealers, who sold the Etruscans lots in Un-
Gle Remus' addition to Rome which after
ward turned out to be in another county.
This precipitated upon the Etruscans a war
which was most disastrous, many of the
choicest and best dressed Etruscan officers
of the regular army having been killed or
oyerhet in their fight, so that they were no
good after that, or their uniforms were so
up that they were ashamed almost
to go to a large place like Rome, where the
next battle was advertised for.
Often scrapped With Their Conquerors.
Eighty-nine years before Christ the Etrus-
cans were admitted to the Roman franchise,
but still even as q subordinate power they
constantly threw it up to their conquerors
that they were very old people, and it
was indeed a raw, disagreeable day when
some Etruscan did not 60 home with beau
tiful Swiss sunset under each eye and tell
his wife that he got it while reaching the
tail of casual mule.
The Etruscan writers were not Of high
order generally, but they excelled in all the
arts AS people they allowed nobody to
outdo them in art. Sculpture, painting,
ETC., ETC., had great hold on the people,
and home decoration was run into the
ground Everlasting flowers and dried
grasses with powdered alum on them were
in their full meridian when the Etruscans
curled up and died as people, leaving
shores of time. The so-called Tuscan
architecture is modification of the
Doric, and looks well on an
piece of property
The tombs of the Etrusoans are their chief
charm. They are beautifully decorated and
though poorly ventilated, as so many tombs
are apt to be, are on the inside covered with
paintings and carvings. They are also
furnished with various articles, on many of
which may be found the remains of very
unique and once beautiful tides, which, it
is presumed, were a weakness of the Etrus-
cans, though it must be admitted that they
showed much mental acumen, it seemed to
me, in putting them where they could not
be worn Off down town on the shoulder of
an inofensive guest. BILL NYE.