The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
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How Maidens Are Wooed In Japan II
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, HOW maidens Are WOOcd In Japan Tho
Marriage Ceremony n Queer One,
The courtship Of a japanese maiden
is done by proxy nalSodo on middle
mana married relative or friend-is
usually deputed TO look about for an
eligible partner for the young man or
girl, except in those cases, frequent
among the oristocracy, where the couple
were betrothcd as infants. In the good
old times the bridegroom often did not
know or see his "chosen one" till she
was brought TO his house preceded by a
woman who carried lantern. 1t some
times happened that the bridegroom
did not like his bride at first sight and
refused to take her. The humiliation
which this caused the bride probably
led to the more modern custom which
gives to both the young folks somewhat
more latitude of choice
This custom is called the mi-ai, the
''see meeting or "mutual seeing"
When The naSodo has found suitable
girl an arrangement is made by which
she can, duly chaperoned, meet the
young man chosen for her at the thea
ter, picnic party, in private house or
Shinto temple. Sometimes the young
folks are left in ignorance as to the OBJ
jeet of the meeting, but, as "a rule they
are forewarned, and il there is decided
antipathy on one side or the other, the
matter ends there.
1t is said that at the present day u
girl is rarely forced to marry the man
chosen for her if she does not like him;
but, as matter of fact, if the parents
have made up their minds it would be
considered very improper for a aJapanese
| girl to have Will OF her own in this
matter, as that would show lack of
tilial respect and obediance, which are
rated as the first of all feminine vir-
! tues. So high, indeed, are flial ODE
dience and devotion rated that girl will
not be disgraced if she sacrifice her vir-
| tue for the sake of redeeming her par
| ents from debt.
That hearts are frequently broken by
the nakodo custom seems to be proven
by the suicides of lovers, which are so
numerous that law has been passed
making such suicidal attempts punish.
! ''D4N W bNAl y llllJIlSOIulcul. II OF
lovers to arrange a meeting without a
nakodo is considered very improper
| proceeding, and public opinion exercises
its tyrannical pressure on all classes.
Japanese lovers know nothing about
that Indian summer of romantic court
ship which we call the honeymoon.
Their prosaic courtship by proxy leads
to an equally prosaic engagement,
which consists in the sending of presents
to the girl. Should the lover prove
false and perfdious, the affair ends alb
ruptly, the girl having noredress at law
in the form of suit for breach of prom
| Use.
The marriage ceremony itself marks
decided change in the brides position
and relations to her lover There are
no bridemaids, no minister, no prom
ises of love and fidelity unto death, but
a simple registration of the change in
the BRIDES residence; and the ceremony
chiefly consists in the drinking by the
bride and groom of three tiny cups OF
weak sake or rice wine.
Garments are then changed, and the
ceremony is completed by drinking nine
more cups of sake. But whereas at the
first drinking the bride, being guest,
is served first, at the second drinking
the wine is served first to her husband,
who has now become her lord and
master. She serves him at table, gives
him precedence when entering a build
ing or when out riding, and does not
expect him to render her any services of
gallantry except such as are included in
the courtesy which he extends to every
body.
If he wishes to take a secondary wife
or two into his home it is none of her
business, and jealousy on her part is
considered very bad form and is highly
censured in the treatises on feminine
morals. Jealousy is, indeed, one of the
| seven causes which enable a man to di-
vorce his wife, the other six being dis
obedience, barrenness, lewd conduct,
leprosy, or any other contagious or in
durable disease, thievishness or talking
| too much! ''In plain English, man
may send away his wife whenever he
gets tired of her.
One is not surprised therefore to find
in the tables that there is one divorce
for every three marriages. The women
for their part have no right to claim
divorce on any grounds, nor is it likely
that they would care for such a privi-
lege since the position of divorced
woman is not an enviable one.-N. o.
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