Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-23

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT
taking cold at night while asleep. He
was very restless, he said, and while en-
gagged In slumber so far forgot himself
as to kick the clothes off. This bad habit
resulted in nothing serious, so far as
others were concerned, as the young
man is a bachelor, and in kicking off the
bedclothes is therefore his own worst
enemy.
The writer of these lines, who as a
bachelor was also rather spirited slum-
berer himself, suffered from cold and
exposure in the same way, but finally
obtained relief by having made to order
large, fleece lined bag, six feet in
length, with a pickering string which
could be pulled about the neck after he
had inserted himself. This worked so
successfully that he volunteered the
recipe for the use of the correspondent.
He adopted the plan, and soon was de-
lighted to know that he was no longer
annoyed by snuff1es in the morning. and
so health and consequent joy sparkled in
his eye. All went well until last week.
when low, coarse burglar entered the
room of this young man. The moon was
just in the act of piercing the tissue of
heecy clouds when a middle aged bur
glar, wearing heavy growth of bushy,
tan colored whiskers, from which one
might easily scare flock of Welsh rab-
bits, softly raised the window and en-
tered the room
The regular breathing of Mr.. McTige
was like the gentle purring of NAL
tese cat-o'-nine-tails, and the burg
lar, though alert, had no fears. Soft
ly he stepped around from one OBJ
Ject of vertu to another, now and then
pausing perhaps to smell bottle of bou-
quet d'Alps and put little pomatum
on his beard.
All went well till the burglar, in pick
ing up Mr.. McTige's trousers, awkward
ly upended the pockets, and with some
racket eighteen cents in money and a
bunch of keys fell out on the floor. Then
Mr.. McTige gave little start and ex-
claimed "Oh, mammal as he saw in the
uncertain light total stranger. Mr. Nc
Tige spoke to the man and asked him
what he was doing, That made the burg
lar mad. No burglar likes to have his
motives impugned. So he came up to Mr.
McTige, and warmed up the cold muz-
zle of his weapon in the young mans
ear
Pretty soon, though, he saw how Mr.
McTige was accoutered. so he put away
his revolver, and with meaning smile
he snatched Mr.. McTige from his bed,
pulled the puckering string considerably
tighter and hung the bag up on the gas
jet, so that Wellington McTige looked
like large Christmas present. He did
not dare to shrek for fear that his sister,
who always tied him into his little bag
at night and united him in the morning,
would run to him and get shot
So while the brutal man about town
gathered in all the portable bric-a- brac
and means in the house, Mr.. McTige
hung there as helpless as trussed fowl
and looked directly forward. Oh, it was
a sad sight, indeed, and the mental an
| guish turned one side of his mustache
white in the night.
| He now writes to this department to
| ask what was our idea in sending out
| such recipe. and wishes also to know
| if we stand in with the burglar interests
| of the country 1t is hard to try to do
| good, and then meet with this style of
reward. We do not claim to supply
burglar proof sleeping bags or designs
for same, but we try to do right by one
and all, and we shall continue to do SC
even though contumely and such things
as that constitute our only reward.
|
The following letter comes from q
lady of veraciuy and undoubted respect
ability. 1t is written in a spirited
style and appeals to one and all. give
it as it is received, with much pleasure
AS rule, general correspondence is
more pleasant to give than to receive
So give it.
WIN you explain to me why the New York
| hotels are guarding carefully against all ap
pearauces Of respectabil1ty? Late one evening
| found must spend night in the city, hav
| ing missed the train intended to take.
| applied for a room at the - house
| was informed they were all engaged. told
that lynx eyed clerk that he could furnish MT
| o room or would spend the night on a sofa
that stood there in the hall. He eyed me agar
| In polite (O way, and asked me to step on ont
| side while he spoke confidentially with me
There he told me that was too respectabl,
looking to stop in this hotel, or words to thi.
| effect. His exact words were: I'VE canno
| give you a rooIn- II you were with q gentle
| man it would be otherwise" Then l blew
that soft voiced clerk very high into the even
ing air. think he assembled down again
though, so w at repeat what said. Now i
| seems had been vile, unprincipled woman
| applying with O man admirer for q room al
| would have been we'll But /, q lonely woman
| unacquainted with New York boarding houses
and despiHng lew York boarding house break