The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-01-16
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

whats the matter with Parnells" Reply
by his friends, "OShea's all right!"-7er
SUtingS.
Stealing march Is not larceny any more than
firing pedler Is arson.-ffts6urg Post
The man who drills wells may be very pleas.
ant person, but still he's an awful bore.-Bi9.
h0mton Republican.
He-Do You always read the fashion notes in
she-No. I stop occasionally for meals
YANKEE Blade.
Maud--Georgc told me to-day that my face
Ethel-Hc ought to have had better manners
than to twit on your poverty.-NeW York
Herald.
1t is queer about society--the minute man
gets into II he expects TO get asked out
Elnird Gazette.
The strangest thing about crank" is
that he can't be turned-Memphis CONNER
cial.
When two old men get together in the even
ing and begin to talk about what they used to do
when they were boys at school, even the fire
would go out, Il II could possibly leave the
room.-SOmerriRe Journal.
The true way to ameliorate the condition OF
the red man IL to marry him. At least that
seems TO be Miss Goodalc's idea.-Boston
Herald.
"The American practice OF tipping is some
thing frightful Servants no longer seem to be
content WIN small bufllsl
"Iow IL that, your lordship!"
"A waiter at breakfast this morning actually
asked me for my check!'-Smith, Gray d Co.'s
Monthly.
Mamma, what made the preacher keep say
ing something about his earss" asked Georgia.
II didn't hear him say anything about
them" said mamma
"Wcll, he said oh, my hearers, and
thought he meant his ears Youths Com
pdni0R.
4. o..
Wyoming IL the largest man In the United
States Senate. II IL question as to who Is the
biggest. Philadelphia Ledger.
Dr. Koch's lymph has been very successfully
tried in Boston, but nothing can cure the old
towns consumption OF pork and bcans.-Chi.
AGO Herald.
Miss Buxom-Freddie made very pretty
oke last night.
Miss Petite-what was III
| Miss Bnxom-He said he called me his little
| lamb because he loved to fold me.
| Miss Petito-Fod chy Doesn't 1t strike YOU
that corral would be \ better word!-NeW York
Herdid.
Mr.. G. Corfu 10 the chef at Delmonic0's. lie
| has the reputation of being able to get up n
Goriuous dinner--Ne'0 orleans Picayaae.
"Mr, Clarkson tobogganing down, the slide
| toward innocuOus dcsuetude," II the way q
| Western contemporary puts II.
Bagley-I don't sec what they want to make
so many changes In spelling for Here II
Chill TO be written Chile hereafter.
Bhmbcrs-Wel's that's not much of a
change It's all in your I, old man.
The Norristown Herdd thinks that II Il
much better TO keep the larks singing In your
heart than the swallows gurging in your
throat.
She-IIow changed Mr.. Banks IL. lie II 50
moody and dreamy and he used to pride him
self on being so practical and business'likc and
couldn't tolerate anybody who wasn't
Uc--lee. lie wrote and proposed to n young
lady the other day on his ofce-paper and she
declined him on a postal'card.-Jud udgs.
Stokcs---It's disgusting to see how Brown
and Robinson fawn on Jones since he got his
money.
IIodges--whe he takes snun they botf
sneeze, ehy
Siokcs-worse than that, When he take
beer they call for champagne. SMITH, Gray 4
Co.'S MoHMiy.
poor white trash girl from the mountain
OF North Carolina was received by u ltaleigl
lady into her home for training. She wa
taught ut first to be orderly, second to be clean
ard thirdly to be neat. suddenly she iled t'
there. "Why did you leave mey" she asked.
"Why, Mis- Blank, | Just couldn't stay,
was Just cloyed with neatness. "lladeiphit
Record,
why We Parted.
The little waves run TO kiss the strand,
And sink away In the thirsty sand;
The stars are thick In the summer sky,
Why are we parted, my love and "
Away from the bathrooms glare and heat,
On the dim piazza the air Is sweet.
| | catch the CLEAN OF Il waving fan
She prefers to sit with another man.
\. ST. q. LAWRENCE.