The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-01-20
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

Amsricst"
"NO,n
"lie lnsinuates that the women in our demi-
monde are not ladies'"
"Well, does he want us to copy the English
in everythingS'-NeD l0rk HeFaid.
George calls mo his idol and says shall
never lave TO do anything but let him worship
swell, after you're married he'll and plenty
for idol hands TO do."-Pack.
Mr.. Grump--I can't see, my dear, what good
that border OF fur docs you around the hem OF
your skirt.
Mrs. Grump-Why 1t shows that | can az.
ford it.-HdTper's Bdsdr.
~ think we'd better call those beasts with
the wallpaper backs and big mouths alliga-
tors, said Adam.
II like the name crocodile better" said Eve.
"Well, Wen see how our stockof titles holds
out II there's more than enough to 20 round,
Wen give the reptile both names .h-HJrper'S
Bdsar.
Miss AMY don't believe in throwing kisses.
for me let me know and III come and get them.
-NtU York Sun.
"Ever had your life insured old felowf''
mo. Companies won't take me. Heart
action too feeble Nobody to insure my life
for, anyhow"
saint you marriedf'
mo. Heart action too feeble for that, too"
-ChicdQo Tribune.
Cobble-Iiow are You getting on with your
reading at the library see you go around
there every day rs regular as clockwork.
Stone-l am making fair progress, bnt
lie, w wv
"Go away, you horrd little BEAST said
Ethel, pushing Fido from her lap.
Whats the mattcrY Did he bite youS'
GHked Maud
mo; he's gone out of fashion. .n-Nep Yor6
SBH.
AL mn, osbnn,1 90 yo, ,,,, daor 4. aoi1
Chipace, severely. "1hc idea OF strong,
healthy, woman like You being afraid of a
mOusclN
~ should have better nerves, my love- saId
Mrs. Chipace, "lf accustomed myself to buck
ing tigers, as you have done Chicago T3m'S,
"Georgc,n said fashionable lady to her hus-
band one day, "my drcssmakor's bills are
| larger than those of any lady OF my ncqulint-
| anCe, and yet never hear people say that nm
| the bestdressod woman In our set. Would
| You try another dressmaker II you were me,
DEAR"
| sarcastic wretch. lie was right. A womla
| without style must be "born again to get II.
| II cannot be acquired.
Mr.. Glim-This II long farewell, Mrs. Gar
| goyle. I'm going to California for my health.
Mrs. Gargoylc- Indeed! How did Your health
| get that far away from yony- brooklyn LIFE.
"Romemher, boys" SAID the new teacher,
| who being still new al the business, knew not
| what else to say TO make an Impression, "that
| in the bright lexicon OF youth there's no ich
| word Rs fall After y few moments boy
| from Boston raised his hand.
| "Well, what II IT, SOcratess" askel tho
| teacher.
| ~ wfs merely going to suggest replied the
| yuungstor, as he Cloansel his apcctacos with
| his handkerchief "that, II such is the case, II
| would he advisable TO write to the publishers
| OF that lcSicOn and call tlfoir attention to III,
omission - Montreal star
Ernest Renau once had occasion to telegraph
| across the British Channel the subject OF d
! proposed lecture. The subject, as stated b.
| him, was ~ he influence OF Rome On tn
| Formation of Christianity" 1t was pabllshel
| IN England a. "Thc Influence OF Rum on the
| Digefton OF Humanity. .'--E Erchdnge.
Mothor-Jo Johnny, see that your little brother
| has the smaller piece OF cake. DID yon give
| him his choice aa | told yOui
| Iohuny-Yesm. | told htm he could hayl
| his choice, the little piece or none, and he toos
| the little piece thlcdg0 Ereaing POST
Gt's really becoming awkward, as De Tattc:'
| says. lie called gt the house OF DR.. johnson
| and was shown into the surgery. A lady II
arcctaClea advanced and asked his pleasure
| "uh the fact II, hardly like to say" The
| LADY: "Oh, you need be under no apprehon
| piui; we hear very curious stories every day
| well, hnrGly ll-well, the fact IL, madame
| DR. johnson and were students together, anc
| / called to zee II he couldn't give me coat an
| q pair OF troueere, just for tho sake or oil
| t,mss. Any CID 4 he lady drawing herael
| upG II am DR.. Johnson