The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-02-13
SHARP AND COMIC.

The rendering of il now seems to be
"Loathe the poor Indian. y Yonkers
Statesman.
Mr. Payrole-You didn't stay away
long on your trip. Mr.. Synecure-No,
/ was afraid that the management
might discover that IL can get along
without me if I stayed away too long.
-[Bostonian.
First Woman-How do you like our
new neighbor? Second Woman -
never met such an ignorant person as
she is. She can't talk about anything
but paintings, books, and music. She
doesn't know word of gossip about
anybody. = Manhattan.
Tenth Street Housewife Ito her help
Il wonder where the leaf Of that ex-
tension table has disappeared to. Help
with beam OF satisfaction at her SUI
rerior knowledge)-Now, wasn't it too
bad. ma'ar2 The fire went out and it
went for kindling What else could l
do?-[Philadelphia Record.
Anarchst-What / object to is the rule
of veal th--that the man who has more
money than / have should be able to
control for time the action Of others.
Mr.. Wiggins-And yet if my wealth
would enable me to order "two beers
tell me- Won Fiermauth. wouldn't you
control your feelings sufficiently to take
one of them with me ?-l Munseys
Weekly.
Drummer lin a nearby hotel, to a
fricnd)-I see you are getting to be n
dude, wearing black crocheted tie.
The Other Drummer-But this isn't
black crocheted tie. Bets on the ques-
tion are forthwith made. and Drummer
No. announces triumphantly that it is
black silk tie. First Drummer-Thats
what said-a black crow shade tie. -
[Great Darlington News.
There have been some sharp things
said lately with respect to plagiarism in
the pulpit. 1t is claimed when preacher
uses the words of another he should
always acknowledge it; but the difficulty
is to know when the quotation ends.
One man who appropriated another's
sermon began with: "A certain man
has said," but his hearers did not dream
| that they were indebted TO that certain
man" for the whole sermon. = Christian
Inquirer.
AS one Of our citizens was returning
to his home late one Saturday night he
was accosted by stranger, who asked
him if he had match YES" was the
answer. producing the desired article.
The stranger felt in his pocket a mo-
ment and then said: "Where did put
that cigar? must have lost it." "You
don't mean by that you want me to give
you cigar. too, do you?" asked tho
citizen. "Well, l don't mind if you do,
was the cool answer, and he passed out
the ciglr-[ New Bedford Journal
1t was cold morning and the rooms
Of one of the prominent institutions in
Utica were not as comfortably warm as
some of the workmen thought they
should be. Complaint was thereupon
made to the manager, who ventured the
assertion that the feeling of "chilliness"
of which the workmen complained was
q visionary one. brought about by their
imagination. To prove this theory he
visited each of the thermometers, and,
unobserved by the workmen, sent the
mecury up by breathing on the bulbs.
Then he called attention to the fact that
the thermometers indicated that the
rooms were very warm. The men
seemed satisfied and were very industri.
GUS with their work until one of them
detected the manager "blowing up" the
thermometer, and the grand strike that
followed indicated that the Colonel Sell
ers patent of lighted candle in stove
would not always succeed. -[Utica OBJ
server.