The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-02-15

Of the Old and New Testament, and the
inspired architect muddling with his
bricks-they were brothers. But the book
was more interesting than the building.
that to Joseph Smith an angel came down
from heaven with . pair of celestial gig
lamps, whereby he was marvellously en-
abled to interpret certain plates Of gold
scrubbed over with dots and scratches,
and discovered by him in the ground,
only he spelled the mysterious characters
"caractors"- out of the dots and
scratches produced volume Of 600 closely
printed pages containing the Books Of
Nephi, first and second; Jacob, Enos,
Jarom. Omni, Mormon, Mosiah, the
record Of Zeniff, the Book of
Alma Holaman, the third of Nephi, the
fourth another Book of Mormon, the
Book of Ether (the whole thing is q DOW
erful anRsthetic, by the way) and final
Book Of Moroni. Three men, of whom one
believe is now living, bear solemn wit
ness that the angel with the spectacles APP
peared unto them; eight other men swear
solemnly that they have seen the golden
plates Of the revelation, and upon this tes-
timony the Book of Mormon stands. The
Mormon Bible begins at theo1ays of Zede-
kiah, king of Judah, and ends in . wild
and weitering quagmire of tribal fights,
fibs of revelation and wholesale thefts
from the Bible. Very sincerely did SYM
pathize with the inspired brothers as /
waded through their joint production. As
humble fellow worker in the field of nc
ton knew what it was to get good names
for ones characters. But Joseph and
Hiram were harder bestead than ever l
have been, and holder men to boot. They
created Teancum and Coriantumy, Paho-
ran. Kishkumen Gadianton and other
priceless names which the memory does
not hold; but Of geography they wisely
steered clear and we're astutely vague as to
the localities ofplaces, because you see they
were by no means certain what lay in
the next county to their own. They
marched and countermarched bloodthirsty
armies across their pages, and added new
and amazing chapters to the records Of the
New Testament and reorganized the
heavens and the earth as it is always law
full to 60 in print. But they could not
achieve style, and it was foolish of them to
let into their weird Mosaic pieces of the
genuine Bible whenever the laboring pen
dropped from its toilsome parody to a sem
tence or two of vile. bad English or down.
right penny dreadfulism." And Moses
said unto the people of Israel, Great Scott!
what air YOU doing 20" There is no sem
tence in the Book Of Mormon, word for
word, like the foregoing. but the general
tone is not widely different.
There are the makings of a very fine
creed about Mormonism. To begin with,
the church is rather more absolute than
that Of Rome. Drop the polygamy plank
in the platform. but on the other hand
deal lightly with certain forms of excess.
Keep the quality of the recruit down to
the low mental level and see that the best
of all the agricultural science available is
in the hands of the elders, and there you
have first-class engine for pioneer work.
The tawdry mysticism and the borrowing
from Free Masonry serve the low caste
Swede and Dane, the Welshman and the
Cornish cotter just as well as highly or
ganized heaven.
Then went about the streets and peeped
into peoples front windows, and the deco
rations upon the tables were after the
manner of the year 1850. Main street was
full of country folk from the desert come
in to trade with the Zion Mercantile Co
operative Institute. The church, fancy,
looks after the finances of this thing, and
faces of the women were not lovely. In
deed, but for the certainty that ugly per-
sons are just as irrational in the matter of
undivided love as the beautiful, it seems
that polygamy was q blessed institution
for the women, and that only the dread
threats of the spiritual power could drive
the hulking. broad-faced men into it. The
women wore hideous garments and the
men appeared to be tied up with string.
They would market all that afternoon and
on Sunday 60 to the praying place. tried
to talk to few of them, but they spoke
strange tongues and stared and behaved
like cows. Yet one woman, and not an al
hated the idea OF Salt Lake City being
turned into show-place for the amuse-
ment Of the Gentiles.
IF we ave our own institutions that
amt no reason why people should come
ere and stare at us, his it ?"
The dropped "h" betrayed her.
"And when did you leave England?"
said
sSummer of 'S4. am Dorset" she
said 1.-THE Mormon agents was very
good to US and we was very poor. Now
we're better off-my father, AN mother AN
me-
s.Then you like the state?"
She misunderstood me at first. "Oh,
amt living in the state of polygamy. Not
me, yet. | amt married, l like where l
am. I've got things o. my own-and
some land"
.sBut suppose you will"
''Not me. / amt like them Swedes AN
Danes, amt got nothin' to say for or
against polygamy. It's the elders bus
think its going on much longer. You'll
ear them in the 'ouse tomorrer talkin' as
if it was spreadin' all over America. The
Swedes they think it his. know it hisn't.
s'But you've got your land all right
"Oh, yes, we've got our land an We
never say aught against polygamy, o.
course-father an mother an me-"
1t strikes me that there is fraud some
where You've never heard of the roti-
knanakiwasti Christian, have you?
should have liked to have spoken to
the maiden at length, but she dived into the
Zion Coop, and man captured me, say
ing ii was my bounden duty to see the
sights of Salt Lake. These comprised the
egg-shaped tabernacle. the Beehive and
town houses of Brigham Young. the same
great ruffian's tomb with assorted samples
of his wives sleeping round him Gust as
the eleven faithful ones sleep round the
and one or two other curiosities. But als
these things have been described by ADLER
pens than mine. The animal houses where
Brigham used to pack his wives are grubby
villas; the tabernacle is a shingled fraud,
and the tithing house where all the reve-
nue. returns seem to be made much resem-
bles stable. The Mormons have paper
currency of their own-ecclesiastical bank
notes which are changed for local produce.
But the little boys of the place have great
weakness for the bullion of the Gentiles
1t is not pleasant to he taken round
a township with your guide stopping be-
fore every third house TO say: That's
where Elder So-and-So kept Amelia Bath
ershins, his ffth-no, has third. Amelia
she was took on after keziah. but keziah
was the elders pet, an he didn't dare TO
her spilin' keziah's beauty" The Mussul-
mans are quite right The minute that
all the domestic details of polygamy are
discussed in the mouths of the people the
institution is ready to fall / shook off my
guide when he had told me his very last