The historic times., 1891-11-07
CONCERNING HOSPITALITY.
Points to be Observed in Entertaining
Guests,

Guests.
There is very little of the old-timt
hospitality at the present day, unles:
we except people who live in the coun
try sand on farms, who are generally
more hospitable than city people think
it possible to be. The high rent of city
apartments and houses, the small size
and scarcity of the rooms, have great
deal to do with this. Where families OF
six are living in flats of seven or eight
rooms, having company, no matter how
fond one may be of entertaining, be
comes difficult matter which it takes
big heart and a deal of planning tC
compress. Now, since SO many of us
who live in the city are debarred from
receiving our friends, let US have some
pity on the friends whom we visit in
their country home and remember that
even in the country they do not enter
tain guests except at the expense OF
much labor and outlay of energies.
1t is possible to make ones self a well
come visitor, but TO do this requires a
degree of unselfshness and adaptabili-
ty that some of us do not possess. If
you are visiting where there is an in
sufficiency of servants, or where none
at all are kept, good taste requires that
you make as little extra work and
trouble as possible. Care for your own
room. BY no means let any of your
soiled linen go into the family wash.
In quiet; unobtrusive way perform
little helpful tasks for your hostess, so
that your presence shall be delight
instead of a burden. You can lay the
table, dust the parlor, help with the
weekly darning or mending. You can
even send her off for a days outing
with her husband while you take her
place in the house. If you can not, or
are unwilling to do this, then never
visit a country friend who has
no servant. AS child l used
to feel outraged at the GOODNESS
with which my delicate mother was
allowed and expected to work for and
entertain city friends who never by
any chance expressed a wish for re-
turn visit. The work of entertaining
falls much more heavily on the wife
than on the husband, and a man who
is naturally hospitable will often per-
NIT his wife to receive more visitors
than she is able to care for without
overworking herself. If you find that
your friend is doing this, though her
welcome be never so earnest, shorten
your visit
We, who are visited, have our duties
also. During the first days of my mar
ried life resolved that l would never
entertain anyone from compulsion, or
because they expected it. All my life
we had received visitors who had no
claim of relationship, scarcely of ac-
quaintanceship on US, merely because
they liked to have a place to visit in
the country where there was plenty of
fruit and where horses and carriages
were kept. Some of these people were
often the greatest annoyance to us, and
yet they were endured because it would
be $50 inhOspita BILE" to show them that
they were unwelcOme.
1t is dishonest to invite anyone who
is not heartily welcome, and it is equal
ly dishonest to try to keep up show
of welcome that you do not feel But,
having once decided that visit from
our friend will be of mutual benefit
and pleasure let us take him into our
family as one of ourselves. Do not let
us add to the cost or trouble or daily
living to such an extent that he will
feel himself to be burden. This will
be neither for his happiness nor for
yours. On the other hand, having in
vited him, we are bound to make some
little concessions to his comfort and
enjoyment. A lady once pressed a
friend and his wife to come and make
her an extended visit She would take
no denial. They were to come and
make themselves exactly at home"
The invited guest was confirmed dvs-
peptic, which the lady knew before
asking him to pay her a visit, and
yet, on the first morning thev
came down to a breakfast of fried
mackerel. Naturally he ate none, al
which she expressed great surprise.
The next morning there was fried
mackerel, the next fried ham, and so
changes were run on ham and mackerel
through the visit, which lasted only
until some plausible excuse could be
found for shortening their stay. This
is making your friend "at home" with
a vengeance. We should either not in
vite guest or we should be able to
make some little concessions for his
comfort. The courtesy of finding out
his likes and dislikes in regard to food
and the temperature of his room is
one which we should willingly paw.
A n ;Dvifa1 ruas4 chOuI1 not la aeI,al
to conform to an unreasonable early
breakfast hour, while he should be left
perfectly free to dine with the family
il he preferred. The true and ideal
host is one who can entertain her guest
and vet give him the idea that both his
movements and her own are perfectly
free and unrestrained. American Arri-
culturist.
Thriving Place.