davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
RRIaar BITS.

~.
Mr., ,STAYER-Haye you any oninion on the
wheat or stock lnlarketY > NSTTn p'D'0A y" ZIG
Mr.; sherthorn Bull. have an opinion-a de-
Puck II -A'
;. ENGLIsHMAN-'ow bis hit you Hamercans
ave such 'arsh voices?
American Girl-That's inherited from an
cestors who made themselves hoarse hurrahiny
over the events Of hundred odd years ago
Good Nes0s.
SHE told me 'she had quite forgot
The incest men she ever met"
And so said frightful lot
or other things she cant forget.
"a r-+Smtfh-Gray Weekly.
Mr.. FAsrBoY-With both horses sick. how are
we to get to the ball tonight, my dearP
Mrs. Fastboy (rapturously contemplating her
new dress)-I don't know what you intend to
Baltimore Anleucan.
CoNDUCToR-Con north side carette)-Tree
cents more, mum, for de kid.
Lady-Three cents? Why they doa't charge
me anything for this boy on the cable road.
Conductor-WeA, de cable road don't eat oats !
See?-ChicdQo Tribune
WHEN Jay Gould was boy-our own Jay
t9ould3euQ79 1uo 10 q
He lived on farm, they say.
And tended the flock and Watered the stock
In most commendable way.
Nov Gould is man--our own Jay Could
ana MS farm life recalls, they say,
Since he shears his flock. and waters his stock;
But notin the same old way
E lNetc York Press.
WINEBIpDLE-I hear that you dictated to your
new yrter an imprisoned love letter to
another glrl. ga
Gilderseeve- it was to q fictitious sweet
heart. wanted to nip in the bud any designs
she might have in matrimonial way Brook.
I'm Life. o. @# k8 =
DO YOU ever weary of your beautiful home
mere IN town, Mrs DeCashy?"
Never, Mrs Bronson. What with our autumn
home at Lennox, our winter home at Asheville
our summer cottage at Newport and the spring
IN London, hardly have chance to grow tired
OF it "-RGrper's Bazaar.
Dip he fight with Grant or Sherman,
Our liberties to guard
Inis man with the missing arm and leg
Ara the visage battle-scarred?
No. be isn't crippled soldier;
He never heard the scream
Ofthe flying shell-he used to kick
With college foot ball team.
-Netc York Press.
DEACON RosEBERRY-I tell yo'. Brer' Perkins
dat Dawson OBJ ours iS'r mighty fine wedder
prophet. Dere hadn't bin any rain in our
county TO more'n fo' week. nsde people was
gettn' despret. Den our pawson seq he:
"Chil'n, don't get 'scouraged, dere will be rain
on twenty-fust." An sure 'nough it did rain
on dat day TO- all it wuz WORT
Brother Perkins-Dat's muffin He knew at
wuz de day set TO- de Sunday school picnic
Life.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

Crockodile tears may affect the maudlin
sentimentalists to some degree. But they
are not likely to raise Murderer Almy in
the estimation of sensible people. Really
there is not one redeeming feature in his
whole course toward the hapless New
Hampshire girl that he so brutally muir
dered. On the contrary his subsequen
hippodroming for sympathy only demon
strated the oold-blooded calousness of the
man. OF such creature nothing more
could be expected than that the craven
spirit of his nature should crop out when
he came actually to confront the law, and
punishment commensurate with his crime
stared him in the face. That is the most
rational way of accounting for the pro-
fusely ostentatious deluge of tears with
which he favored the spectators at the
Plymouth court when the sister OF his
victim reoounted the circumstances of her
murder. Contempt is the only public
sentiment of which such cowardly brute
can be worthy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
FLAYoRING EXTRACTS.
Millions.

Every one, no doubt, has
heard of DR.. Prices Delicious
Flavoring Extracts, but, al
though millions of bottles of
them are annually manufac-
tured, there are yet hundreds
of housewives who know
nothing of their excellence
from actual use. These ia
workings are without question
the finest and purest of their
kind manufactured in the
world, and they will eventu-
ally be used as a luxury from
one end of the country to the
other. The grocer who en-
courages the sale and use of
such pure and wholesome ar
ticles, is doing his duty to
his patrons and making his
business 2 eurc~ee
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
I meant to ask Philen
To marry me- In .Inr
School Blunders.

teacher in public school gave out list of
words to be defined and put in sentences.
Among them was the word 'cbasm." A little
girl looked in the dictionary, says the Saturday
Summary, and not being quite satisfied in
quired if ''chasm" meant gap"
The teacher absently replied yes. but was as
tonished when she presented her paper with
this sentence: When am sleepy, 1 always
chasm."
But this is hardly equal to another teachers
experience in little district school some years
20. She gave out words for analysis, Bank
note" was one of them. and the teachers as
constituent may be imagined when one young
lady brought the following unique analysis:
Bank note is a compound, primitive word,
composed Of bank and note Bank is sim
pie word, meaning the side of stream; note ;
to set down. 'Bank-note,' to set down by the
side of stream"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
A Good Suggestion.

The suggestion which the hichm ond Dis
patch makes, attention to which was called
in our dispatches yesterday, that the south
ern states ought to provide a pension for
Mrs. Jefferson Davis is q good one, and
should be acted upon. There are some
grounds for thinking that Mrs. Davis is in
rather Strengthened circumstances. We do
not know that she has ever intimated that
such is the case 1t is not at all likely, how
ever that If her income was not sufficient for
her needs she would make the fact known.
She would struggle along the best way she
could rather than ask for assistance.
1t is known that her literary venture is a
failure financially, not because it lacks
merit or because there is not demand for
it, but because her publishers have not COM
piled with their contract with her. It is
understood that the book has had a large
sale, but Mrs. Davis has not received her
share Of the proceeds.
A pension, coming from all the southern
states, would be accepted doubtless by Mrs.
Davis, and would be regarded by her as an
evidence of the appreciation of the SOUTH
ern people of the services rendered by her
husband. Such pension, coming from so
many states, would not be burdensome In
the least, and if it should be the southern
people would not oppose it. Let Virginia
lnaugurate the movement In behalf of a
pension for Mrs. Davis and the other south
ern states will give it hearty support.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

Ths MORNING NEws is on file at the following
pisces. where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY
= h BATES. S. Park Row.
q, P. RowEIL s. Co, 10 Spruce street
W ". SHARP s Co, 81 Park Row.
PRANK KIKRSAN & Co. i52 Broadway.
DAuCEY & Co. g Park Place.
= W THOMPSON, 80 Park Row.
AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS Association,
Potter Building
PHILADELPHIA
n. ". AVER S SON Times Building.
BOSTON
s. R. NILS, 256 Washington street.
RETTESGTLL & Co, 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRD S THOMAS. IS Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
EDWIN ALDEN COMPANY, 66 West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TEE n. P. HUBBARD CoAPANY. 25 Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAN & Co.. Ils7 Pine street.
ATLANTA
MORNING NEWS BUREAU, 81 whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TELEGRAPH OFFICE. bN Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

So far from claiming to be 'rainmaker"
Gen. Dyrenforth has taken the trouble to
write letter TO announce that he is not any
such magician. On the contrary he says
that he merely experimental as an engineer
under the direction of the government aud
has no individual theories whatever TO ex-
plot. This leaves Magician Melbourne as
the monopolist and undisputed monarch of
the moisture making industry. 1t also leaves
the New York World in rather ridiculous
position after all the loud Boosting it has been
doing about how it intended to literally
soak all Gotham with the aid of Gen. Dy-
renforth and his boisterous explosives.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

In the opinion of the Richmond Times IL
is curious reflection upon the loyal spirit
OF New York city during the war that the
number OF pensioners in that city who are
benefciaries of the federal government for
services in the army are fewer in number
than the pensioners of Tennessee who reside
In Knoxville. AS Knoxville is situated in
the eastern part of the state and In a sec
tion of country whose political sentiment
was pretty accurately represented by such
leading citizens as "Parson" Brownlow and
sandy" johnson these facts do appear more
than passing strange.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

In the matter of that greatly desired rain
fall to relieve the threatened water famine In
New York the World was badly scoopsd by
the alert young Advertiser. While the
World was deliberately Boosting of what it
intended to do to astonish the ma
tives the bright new conner said moth
ing and sawed wood" SO to speak. Con-
sequently it ''got there first" and brought
down a generous downpour. So much for
being light and active and uuincumbered
by ponderous proportions.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
Registered at the Pos.onos ia SauaAnaA.


The MOANING NEws is published every dsy in
the yea, and is served 70 subscribers N "a
cifr At = cents week. 81 90 q month. s. 90 foi
six months and SO 90 for one yesr
The MoKSINe News, ~ n0l, one month,
81 %, three months, - %, SIX nanths s. CO.
one year, $40 %.
The MORNING NEvs, bE mas. SIX times S week
without Sunday issue thres months s. a;
ak months. g Qo.o year, $ 90
The MORNING NEws. Iri-Weekly. AondAys,
Wednesdays and Fridays. o. Tuesdays. lnuFs
DAYS and Saturdays. three months. g 3 SIX
months. - So one year. IS 90
The SVNnkT NEEs. - T1ai one year, =
The WEEKLY NEvs. ~ r-aii one yesF. =
Subscriptions payabls j. siva1ce- hellt y
postal order. check OF registered letter N-I-
rency sent oy mall 81 riSk o. senderS ,,s
Letters and teleGrsms should y AN1ieSs7~
INCOMING NEvS. Savannah. "a
Transient Advertisements other than speelA4
column. locsl o. reading notices aillussAeut
and cheap OF want cc.uun. ~ cents HnS-
Fourteen lines OF sSate type-e24AI 70 o-e
inch spsce in depth-ls the sta1dsFd q meas
urement Contract rates snd discounts nSoe
known on application 81 business once.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

When the confederates were retreatipp
before him in West Virginia the Cincinnati
Commercial states that Gen. Rosecrans
once said that heavy artillery fire which
he opened on the woods through which they
were moving in the night was intended
for moral effect. Consequently the martial
and fierce Commercial thinks that "it
would have pleasing efficacy of the same
sort If the navy of the United States should
appear in the harbor of Valparaiso pres
emily and two or three thousand blue coats
were given leave to go ashore at once and
form procession. They should, of course,
be provided with the means of protecting
themselves from the police" To the credit
of the profession be it said that there is
probably not another paper In the country
that would have been guilty of such a fool
remark" OF course this excerpts the ab-
surdy sanguinary print owned and operated
by the notorious Elder Editorial Freak
Shepard. But in any sort of a list
Of genuine journalists he doesn't count.
No sane government would be
likely to allow armed foreign folders to
land upon its territory for the mere idle
purpose of frightening the inhabitants.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
Preparing Fer Tew Pop.

From the st. louis Republic.
An antiquated katydid
Whose wings are gr wing hoarse,
Sits on tree at MONDAY,
Quite filed with grim remorse.
His pa 9 green friends have left him;
He's stiff; he scarce can crawl;
For hi-bo-Jemimyl It's the tail end Of fall
Heaps OF yellow pumpkins
Are lying gainst the fence,
And leaves are thick on everything
To sweep them isn't sense.
blue birds in the neighborhood
hear his autumn call;
For hi-ho-Jemimy it's the tail end Of fall.
meant to ask Philena
To marry me In June;
1 really thought I'd whoop 1t up
Enduring the August moon.
If dc MT cut and ask her,
She won t marry me at all;
For hi-ho-Jemmy It's the tail end of fall.
lone L. JONES,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

Abiding to the Kelley cure for inebriation
IN the course OF recent lecture the Rev.
Dr. Talmage declared that "a faint light on
the drunkard's sky" made him think that
morning was coming" 1.-THE good doctor has
lately been in position to scrutinize ''the
drunkard's sky" then the propitious change
that be reveals may be readily accepted as
accurate and the world should be com
mensurately graaf1ed. 1t is said that when
the drunkard is in the insensate ''fulIness',
of his joy that his facilities for steadily obs
serving the sky as be anxlously gropes for
the ground are exceptionally advantageous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

While Gov. Hill was recently at the capt.
tai Washington correspondent says that
ne announced very emphatically that 'he
does not intend to resign the governorship
at the opening of congress, but will hang to
his position and thus keep Lieut.. Gov.
Jones from serving as governor even for
one month" So Jones he might as well
Journey back to Binghamton aud resume
his old job a-paying of the freight.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

According TO western contemporary
one Of the most significant features of the
recent elections was the apparent disinte-
grafton Of the farmers alliance and the
complete rout of the so-called Peoples
party" In Ohio it is said to have poIled
less than $4,000 out of 700.0 900 votes. In
Iowa it had less than $4,000 out of posi-
bic $4,000. In Kansas it carried but one
Judicial district out of ten. In Nebraska IL
was extinguished. In South Dakota its
former full vote fell of one-third. In the
east 1t gave no sign. In the south it was
pretty nearly wiped out by the democrats
wherever there was an election Now it ap-
pears quite safe to say that it will not enter
the Held as party in 1892. Such pro-
ceeding would be somewhat in the nature Of
awaste Of time.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
oTR NEW YoRk oFFICE.

Ms. IL FINN, General Advertising Agent
Of the MORNING NEws, ofioe 9 Park Row,
New York Al advertising business outside ef
the states Of Georgia, Florida sud South Caro-
Ina viii be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

Another new trotting record has been
made by Senator Stanford's Palo Alto. No
stallion has ever before approached his time
of 2:OSsl. That is dangerously near the
record Of the leet-footed young Sunol. and
it ties the time of Maud s.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

An abscess in his ear has done for Gen.
Ben Butler what Judge Carpenter could
never do. 1t has disabled him for duty and
caused him to abandon case. Indeed
his condition is said to be quite serious.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

Omaha is now reaching out for the repub-
Ican national convention. 1t is said to
have the hearty Endorsement of Editor
Russ Harrison. Telegraph tolls from
Omaha to Russ Montana paper at Helena
would be comparatively cheap. That is a
matter not to be lost sight of for thirty
consecutive seconds at time.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

net hol
everybody in the place stared, and luncher
fell on bis stool in the rear with a crash The
Ittle white caps Of the four barmaids rose
simultaneously about an inch. The pretty cash
girl rang up 75-cent check for a scared sand
wich young man and gIggled. Two stalwart
walters came forward TO throw the humorous
gentleman out, but were intercepted by his
companion with a whisper
can you make me turf cocktail?' seri-
ously inquired the hilarious gentleman of the
nearest white aproned divinity behind the bar
If SO, ha, ha, ha. ha,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

The Savannah Press, the new evening
paper OF this city, presents very bright
and attractive appearance. Those who
make it are among the best newspaper men
In the state, and there is no reason why
their venture should not be successful one
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
Pathetic Aspects of Rismarck's Posi-
IRON the, 81. LOUIS Post. D ispdtch tper, \

From theSt. Lotsss PostD Dispatch (Dent.l
Much of the pathos of the rejected servant of
kings which Shakespeare put SO eoquently into
the mouth OF Cardinal Wolssy Is found in the
Office, shorn of power. hufniiiated by the grand
son of thesmaster to whose service he gave his
life. the aged ex-chancellor finds himself
hampeFed and cowed in his attempts to defend
himself and indicate his course by the grand.
sons use of the power he built up for the grand
father
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
Peculiar People of Pennsylvania.

From the CledrtieId Public Spirit Qld).
When a man comes home at a. M with
sickly six-pound live turkey in his hand you
can always bet on hearing a first-class lie
He generally figures that he has the fowl and
50 cents prize money clear of all outlay, but it
Is safe to place the cost of the critter at about
60 S0 ~ 80 ~ IelqNIJ
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
CURRENT COMMENT.
of a Western Editor.

From the Kansas CITY Times (Dem).
When man acts a rascal on a small scale a
jail and contumely are his just deserts But
when it is on high-roller principle he files
cross bills and employs attorneys.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
How Mysteries Affsctsd Him.

The other day a couple of well dressed gen
tlemen entered downtown lunch room where
four pretty barmaids wait upon those requiring
liquid refreshments. One OF the newcomers
had an uncertain falsetto voice. says the Fits
burg Dislofch. which ran itself down and I'D
grade IN the most reckless manner imaginable.
He laughed as be confronted the barmaids
something like this:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
snsI Pill Snail Dose Snail s!isa

The old saying that econ
sumption can be cured if
taken in time" was poor COM
fort. 1t seemed to invite a
trial, but to anticipate failure.
The other one, not so old,
consumption can be cured"
is considered by many false.
Both are true and not
true; the first is prudent.
one cannot begin too early.
The means is careful livI
ing. SCOTS Emulsion of
cod-liver oil is sometimes an
important part of that.
Letus send you a book on
CAREFUL LIvING-free.
:, scoTrSs BOVINE, Chemists, 1sa South sth Avenue,
New York.
Your druggist keeps SCOTS Emulsion of cod-liver
oil-sl druggists everywhere do. 81.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

LAsHER-Dasher says that you are fool.
Masher--Deah me- shall certainly cut him
when meet him.
Lasher-Don't. He will feel more insulted if
you recognize him.-Pttck.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
ha, ha,
ho.,

The young woman, who seemed to be under
the temporary impression that her customer
was making fun at her expense. grabbed glass
aud bottle OF bitters her face red as a woman's
lace can get on short notice, and proceeded
sternly TO business The other man took his
plain, and both smiled. His friend paid the
eheck, and the place fairly rang to his parting
LAUGHTER
"Ha har,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20


As the door closed be lind him the giggles
and grins down the long room broke into a rip
pie OF louder mirth, and dozen people went
oy the cash girl forgetting to call for their
checks No, 1t was not conspiracy. The
laug hing young man had the hyster cs, and he
could no more control his voice than you can
control your hiccups.
There used to be q young lady in Washington
VINO was afflicted the same way. One evening
she occupied central orchestra chair at the
National theater during a performance IF
rather funny farce comedy, and enjoyed the
thing amazingly So did the audience. For
she would every now and then get into a ft Of
laughter that would terminate invariably in a
wei defined shrek. Before the play was half
over sht had the whole house in an uproar The
performers looked serious at first, then smiled,
ana nnaliy broke down. One actor lost his
lines completely, and had TO leave the stage 1t
was nip and tuck from that moment between
That one girl in the orchestra chair and the
comedy company. The more the girl laughed
the worse the company played, butthe audience
tairly she'd tears in spots all the evening, and
went home literally tickled to death.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20

ha''
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-11-20
EMS or INTEREST.

IusI7eSs 2 success
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-05-19

This Great
Strength @ IA
ing Remedy
a IA q n o n g 6
i'm EC is the
gi innate result
of over twenty
years practice ,bYa
THO Z o u GIL Y
QUALIFIED GBA
d U A TIE PHYSI-
CLAN of one Of
the highest nae :
cal cole ge I
Z u 70 p e a n d
CURE S w 1T II
u n F A LING
, @ E r T AIN 7 Y
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-05-19
SITS. OOtO $3.50. 90 O.. 4 ). made mDS ~c1s.

ng for us, Agents preferred who canfurni
horse and give their whole time to the b
ness. Spare moments may be probably
ployed also. few vacancies in towns and cit
les. b. F. JOHNSON CO., 1909 Main St.
Richmond, Va.
N. Estate 81 1hd business experience.
NeUer mind about sending stamp for reply
IF. j. Dc Co. a10 6m
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-05-19
DR-HTEBIG7S
WONDERFUL
German InvigOratOr.

that vetabe Elixir of life
failure and that Dr. Lebg the original and only
Vital Elixir.
REASON THOUSANDS CANNOT GET CURED of Chronic,
Private Special Complaints Debility, Loss
Memory and Manhood Liver Lung Bladder Kidney and Stomach
Troubles Impurities the Blood Pm and other Skin Diseases
complication called Poaorhea with Hepeesthesia
which requires special
LIEBICS INVIGORATOR the
uncompad
ha Prices of bottles SO half size bot
ties, half price. Books
Dr. LIEBIG quarter of have made
speciality induced speedily
thoroughly skuy
moderate
address, STREET. Private
trance MAsoNS
CAUTION Avoid packages of poisonous nostrum whose makers
OAO unskilu
S. offering deceived
LIEBIGS INVIGORATOR. my15 1y
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-05-19
Special Notice.

All persons are notified that teams
ters who take lumber from Srooner's
fume in James Canyon will be prose-
cuted. The man who took my pack
poles will return them St once TO avoid
arrest. =. y. BsUI.E.
o9Im Foreman fol AZ Z SDooneI.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1891-05-19
EGRET and HERON
fE. n tIC M
Alligator Skin

We are buyers of these goods. Shipmen
of auy quantity desired. Prompt cash re
Away at full mark value. Send postal for
price list. Shippe, kept thorou .hlv o5Sm2e
J. X. CILLE CO., &c Gold Ned.y,b
York City. pt.e