San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-04-22
MARK TWAIN ON SPELLING.

Some years ago Mark Twain was
asked to open the exercises at a spell
ing match, which he did, as fol-
lows:
Ladies and Gentlemen:-I have
been honored with the Office of intro
ducing.these approaching orthograph-
ical solemnities with o few remarks.
The temperance crusade swept the
land some time ago, that is, the vast
portion of the land where 1t was
needed, but 1t skipped Hartford.
Now comes this new spelling cpl
demic, and this time we are stricken.
so suppose we needed the affection.
don't say we needed it, for [ don't
see any use in spelling a word right,
and never did. mean 1 don't see
any use in having q uniform and
arbitrary way of spelling words. We
might a. well make all clothes alike
and cook all dishes alike. Sameness
is tiresome; variety is pleasing. L
have correspondent whose letters
are, always q refreshment to me;
there is always such a breezy,
untettered originality about his ortho-
graphy. He always spells Kow with
large X. Now, that is just as good
as to spell 1t with small one. 1t is
better. 1t gives the imagination a
broader field, wider scope. 1t
suggests to the mind grand, vague
impressive, new kind of cow.
Superb effects can be produced by
variegated spelling. Now, there
is Blind Tom, the musical pro-
digyk He always spells q word
according to the sound that is carried
to his ear. And he is an enthusiasts
in photography. When you give him
a word he shouts it outputs all his
soul into it. I once heard him called
upon to spell orang-Outang before an
audience, He said, 80, Rang, orang,
ger, ger, Granger, t-a-n-g, tang,
Granger tangn Now, q body can
respect an orang. outang that spells
his name In vigorous way like
that. But the feeble dictionary
makes q mere kitten of him. In
the old times people spelled just as
they pleased. That was the right
idea. You had two chances at q
stranger then You knew q strong
man from weak one by his iron-clad
spelling, and his handwriting helped
him to verify your verdict. Some
people have an idea that correct SPELL
Ing can be taught-and taught to
any body. That is a mistake. The
spelling faculty is born in a man, like
poetry, music and art. 1t is a gift; it
is a talent. People who have this
gift in high degree only need
to see word once in print and
1t is forever photographed upon their
memory. They can not forget it.
People who haven't IL must be con-
tent TO spell more or less like-like
cumberland expect to splinter the
dictionary wherever their orthograph-
zeal lightning happens to strike.
There are ia, 900 words in the un
abridged dictionary. 1 know lady
who can spell only $50 of them right.
She steers clear of all the
rest. She can't learn any
more. So her letters always consist
of those constantly recurring $50
words. Now and then, when she
finds herself obliged to write upon a
subject which necessitates the use OF
some other words, she well, she
don't write on that subject. ] have
relative in New York who is almost
subllmely gifted. She can't spell any
word right. There is a game called
Verbarium. A dozen people are each
provided with sheet of paper, across
the top of which Is written q long
word like kaleidOscopical, or some
thing like that, and the game is to
see who can make up the most words
out of that in three minutes, begin.
ming with the initial letter Of the word.
Upon one occasion the word chosen
was cotferdam. When time was
called every body had built from five
to twenty words exc, pit this yJung
l,dy. She only had one word-calf.
We all studied q moment and then
said, "Why there is no in Golfer
dam!" Ths n we exa mined her paper.
To the eternal honor of that uninspir-
ed, unconscious, sublimely independ-
ent soul be it said, she had spelled
that word "caffw If any body here
can spell calf any more sensibly than
that, let him step to the front and
take his milk. The instruction will
now begin