The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-07-01
TIME TO PROPOSE.
A Bachelors Suggestions to Bash
full Youths and Coy Maidens.


married during June and July than
during all the other ten months OF
the year.. Why this is so | know not,
but it is a fact. Perhaps II reason
is that so many girls go away from
home to spend the summer; and he IS
only half a young man who would let
his particular girl depart for seashore
or mountains without assuring her
that she is worth more than all the
rest OF the world put together-ahd
then having the colossal check to ask
possession of that representative OF
enormous wealth
At this time it is eminently proper
to address a few words of counsel to
the young man aid his girl. In the
first place, young man, don't be afraid
to propos to her. She cannot eX-
plode and scatter you in fragments
over the surrounding country; sne
can't u you over and cause that
summer suit to be merely a covering
for human jelly; she is not q Kansas
cyclone, so you will not be blown
through tine top of a tree; and, II you
go about the proposal in a proper
manner it is not likely hat she will
kick, or bite, or take the bit in her
teeth and run away. SO there is not
much to scare you, after all, is thereT
And you. young woman, who have
been almost frightened to death every
time YOU have been alone with your
lover during the past six weeks for
fear that he would propose-and Tor
fear that he wouldn't-do not let your
hair turn white just because John
Henry utters a dozen words that you
have been expecting to hear for days
and DAYS. Several other engagements
are on record that did not have fatal
results.
Now as to the time and place. These
must be governed entirely by circum-
stances. Only, don't be afraid, Thom-
as jefferson. When you think time
is with you, and circumstances are
where YOU can lean against them, just
take a long breath and JUMP in. Tell
her YOU love her, and ask how soon
she can get ready for the ceremony.
Don't go yawping aroung like an I'M
derfed spaniel pup, and inquire
whether Margaret thinks she ever
could learn to love you. No matter
how skittish you feel, wear an extra
stiff shirt bosom to brace up on, and
mt the matter to her so she'll think
no other girl ever had such an oppor-
tunity.
The next serious matter to be eon
sidered is the method. Usually III
will suggest itself to the young man,
but in case the girl is a bit of a quo
quette, use strategy. Way up IN the
Green Mountains there are rival ham,
let's called respectively Beaver Hol-
low and Mink Meadows. The young
people living there had about ex-
hausted their means of entertainment
last winter, by INDUCING in spelling
matches, husking bees and pie eating
contests, and the boys and girls
yearned for some new IDEA which
would decide whether Beaver Hollow
or Mink Meadows had the greater
valor and skill. So they asked the
minister and the doctor and the
schoolmaster to suggest a scheme,
and after consideration these worthless
decided that the merits of the ham
let's could best be settled by a counting
bee.
They gave the young people five
weeks to train in, and at the end of
that time all were to meet in the
school mouse by the o roads. If
Beaver Hollow could show a greater
number of engagements during those
five weeks than Mink Meadows she
was to take the prize, and vice versa.
of course. The eventful evening ar
rived and most of the people in the
country swarmed around the school
house and tried to get in. Ali the
young folks were there it is needless
to say. and not one of them had an
nounced his or her engagement.
Finally the minister told all the n
gagged couples to walk out into the
middle of the room, and exactly six
couples from each village responded.
AT this critical moment a big, fiery
Young fellow from Beaver Hollow was
seen to whisper earnestly to a girl he
had been sparkling. She shook her
head and refused TO do as he asked: so
suddenly he placed an arm around
her waist, lifted her from the floor
and walked out in the middle of the
school room, winning a bride for him
self and q prize for his village.
1t is possible, however, that a city
maiden might object to such a pro-
ceeding, so permit me to suggest
another plan, through which a young
lady became engaged while she was
visiting at Cape May Point, last sum
mer. when the Presidents family was
there. This girl-a wealthy West
erner, by the way-had fiirted des-
perately with and finally refused "a
man we'll known to club life in New
York. He did not give up the ship,
however, but went down to Cape
May Point to see the cruel one. They
went in bathing, and he taught her
to float. although she couldn't swim a
stroke. One day she was floating and
he was swimming, with one hand
placed beneath her shoulders to keep
her steady. After she had been look
ing up at the bright blue sky for
what seemed to her half an hour, the
young man told her they were far
from shore. with fifty feet of water be-
tween them and the bottom of the
sea. She begged him to swim back to-
ward the beach when suddenly he
withdrew his hand. and she COM
menced to sink. She uttered a little
cry, but he immediately supported
her again.
Then he told her, while the cool,
salt waves swashed around them. that
he loved her to distraction; that he
had grown desperate, and unless she
promised to marry him then and there
he would let her drown, and for a sec
ond time he momentarily withdrew
his hand. The Western girl didn't
dare move, but she sobbingly con-
fasSed thai she had loved him all