The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-07-22
THE BOWSER FAMILY,
The Head of the House Reads Lecture
on Human Nature, and Then Gives q
Fine object Lesson for His Wife,

You probably did," replied Mrs.
Bowser. ''She was poor woman who
had burned her hand and couldn't
work with it, and l felt sorry for her."
That's you-you to dot! Never
even saw her hand to know that the
story was truer'
But l did. 1t was bad burn"
And she gave you her street and
NUMBER"
Yes"
And you went there to see if it was
all right?"
No; took her word for it."
Took her word! Well. you are a
soft mash! T'll bet 800 to d cent that
she was the biggest kind of fraudi
She's probably grinning now as she
thinks how nicely she soft-soaped your
II think she was deserving of what
1 did for her." quietly replied Mrs.
Bowser.
"Oh, yes-of course! Mrs. Bowser,
let me give you little advice. You
were born in the country and''-
Weren't you?"
mo, ma amp
Weren't you born exactly one mile
east of Podunk?"
No! That is to say. 1 was born
there, but l was reared'-
I'm Podunk itself-a hamlet of thir-
teen houses and cider millr'
Mrs. Bowser," he continued, after
moment, crossing his hands under his
coat-tails and balancing himself heel
and toe, II want to define my position
in this matter. You were born and
brought up in the country. You have
never had a chance to study human
nature as / have. The average face is
the index of the average mind, but you
haven't learned to read facial express
sion."
"Have you?" she asked, as he halted
for breath.
Certainly. Indeed, it came natural
to me. can detect an unworthy per-
son at glance. l can almost tell what
he is thinking of. From the mere
glance got at that woman's face l
would wager my shoes against tooth
pick that she is chronic beggar and a
wretched fraud"
Il can't believe it" replied Mrs.
Bowser.
Indeed! What you can or can not
believe is of very little Importance to
a nation of 60,000,000 people, Mrs.
Bowser. say she was unworthy, and
that settles it. However, 1 do not
blame you so very much, as she pro-
badly told a very plausible story, but
let this be the last time. l am just as
charitable as the next man, and per-
haps more so, but | want to know who
I'm giving to-"
II can't help but believe she was
just WHIU -otIo- -~AfroSanted herself
protested Mrs. Bowser.
That matter was definitely settled,
Mrs. Bowser-definitely settled, under
stand-when 1 declared her unworthy.
l will some day give you some instruc-
tions as to reading human nature. but
until l do give to no more mendicants.
You simply encourage fraud, vice, ig-
norance and crime. There's no telling
but what your action in this case will
land that woman behind prison bars
tomorrow"
II don't see how it could" she re-
piled.
probably not. There's a great
many things you haven't seen. can't
see and never will see, Mrs. Bowser
When I am away give all such people
the cold shoulder: when l am home
refer them to me. In that way no
mistakes can possibly arise"
About s o'clock that evening the
gatebell rang, and pretty soon the cook
came and reported that there was a
man outside who wanted money to pay
for a nights lodging.
'Ah! Got the house located down
fine. haven't they?" sarcastically ex-
claimed Mr.. Bowser. who was reading
his newspaper.
.Tell him we have nothing to give"
said Mrs. Bowser to the cook.
Tell him nothing of the kind" add
ed Mr. Bowser. ''On the contrary,
send him right in here. Here's
chance for you, Mrs. Bowser, to take
first lesson in reading human nature.
See how quick 1 will turn him wrong
side out! Move that chair out for him
to sit down on.''
A moment later the man was shown
In. He was tough-looking specimen
OF manhood, and looked as if he had
tramped twice around the globe There
was rum in his breath and shavings in
his hair, and had he even appeared By
daylight Mrs. Bowser would have shut
the door on his toes.
well, sirP" sharply queried Mr..
Bowser.
ITS case of heart disease, sir, and
l can't work." whined the man.
Run out your tongue"
1t appeared and vanished.
Let me feel your pulser'
He extended a hand.
MY man." said Mr.. Bowser. ssyou
have told me the truth. Your heart is
very much affected. l also see bv your
face that you are an honest, truthful
man. Here's dollar for you. Good
night"
''And you call him deservinpP"
Mrs. Bowser, after the tramp
had slid out with an expression of the
greatest amazement on his face
Certainly do. Saw it the instant
he entered the room. It's just as he
says about his heart, and l ought to
have given him twice what did,
''lf he isn't a tramp and fraud
hen 1 don't know one," firmly replied
Mrs. Bowser.
"Of course you don't, that's what
I've been trying to tell you. I'd trust
hat man to carry my wallet all day,
little down at the heel, but thoroughly |
honest and conscientious. Helloi |
What's that?n
please. sir, but here's a policeman
Who wants to speak with you at the
gate" said the cook from the hall
loor.
Policeman? That's funny. Where's
ny hat?"
Mrs. Bowser follow him out. There
TODD an officer and there stood the
nan Mr.. Rowser had just given 81 to.
Caught him carrying these things
'ff, SIR" said the officer, as he pointed
o pail, an umbrella, the cooks
hawl, several knives and a platter.
Ihich the scamp had picked up in the
itchen as the cooks back was turned"
"9ou-you did," gasped Mr.. Bow
er.
Yes, sir. He's bad man, sir;
egular thief. I've sent him over the
oad three times myself"
rs it possible! What have YOU got
} say to this, my man?"
''That you are about the ripest old
umpkin 1 ever shook for seedsI" an
Hered the man in hilarious voice.
When the officer had taken him
way and they had returned to the sit
ng room Mrs. Bowser looked at her
ege lord and queried: