The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-24

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thing right, however, by telling my
justly celebrated niger story. 1t was a
great hit with everybody except the man
who told it to me, and who spoke later
on-or thought he did But what could
he do without his niger story3
81 got the story at cost of about
1915.
Dinner last night valued at. IS s.
| Two extra cigars brought home. ....,,.... 4O
Total ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. S. Is
Balance ahead, S..
"Nov. 12-Attended dinner given in
honor of another chump.~ was invited
to be the life of the party. Did not sue
coed very we'll Presiding officer very
coarsely intimated that my sraech was
more fitting for some other decide. This
made me hot. NO, said 1, it fits this
decade fairly well, and / threw him the
left lobe of canvasback's bosom that
had suffered some from the tooth Of
time. You say my speech is decayed!
So are your victualsp l then took an
ornamental tin wedding cake from the
center of the table and went home.
Speech, say......................... 81 90
Dinner....... OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 50 30
Bouquet .............ss.ss......... 10
I'm CAKE. ................ssss...... oU
Out on whole thing................. 10
NOV. 15-Just got home from large
dinner, where / was expected to swap
So worth of bon homanae for twenty cents
worth of consonan,e. am away ahead.
! did not have to speak. Other great
men obliged, and / was not called on.
arranged that l should be included in
the list of speakers as it will appear in
the morning in the papers and then
came away stealthily, conveying my
dinner concealed in such a way as to
elude observation. So far On this season
am ahead.
bon nomme. ...............s...ss..t ~ W
Consomme, etc-.....................S7 so
Two cigars extra. 6o
baIance ....'.........'...'.''.''.' W
NOV. 16-As sit here disrobing be-
fore | retire | will write some more in
my diary. My mirror still tells me that
am strangely beautiful. Large, dark,
lustrous eyes, regarding each other pleas
antly across the bridge of clear cut,
aquiline nose, and abundant eye winkers
of some changing shade fringe the
bright pink lids and anon kiss the mass
i've cheeks below. Above, like the long
stretch of marble cemetery at Pere la
Chaise, slumber the tresses of my late
hair. Once it was flowing, but now it
is fed. Thus far shalt thou come and
no farther, saith the broad plaza Of
bright and well Numbered scalp to the
soft ginger colored lambrequin of some
what segregated hair. And yet | am
popular and beloved Tonight sang a
song at dinner. 1t is not often | sing a
song at table, but | did this evening.
Some one asked me to do So | escaped
while they were searching the -building
for this unknown man who asked me to
sing.
1t was one of the most disagreeable
contretemps was ever at.
"a speech was made during the even
ing by man named Simpson, sometimes
called the Sockless Cicero of the Un-
broken Plains. He is a plain HAN, with
an impediment in his syntax and mutton
tallow on his boots. He spoke briefly,
Lit the wrong end Of his cigar, seemed TO
be thoroughly in earnest, and when the
loving cup came around to him he went
down into it like a hired man, rinsing
his bleached mustache, and coming up
ioyously like a mallard duck with q
dank and dripping bill.
He reminded me of barber / ones
sat under. who sang a rollicking song
and accompanied himself on the atom
izer.
lit was a delightful dinner, presided
over by Mr. MISUNDERSTANDING.
Song. 81 50
ihnner ..........'.......'......... IS %
Napkin. .....rs...-............... u
.......................... LIS
NOV. 1e-l am just home from
another dinner, az which l spoke. There
were others. Of course, who spoke, but
they were not into it. spoke feelingly
and interspersed my remarks with persi-
Jlo9e. 1t was good speech. Better
than the dinner. Something did not
agree with me. / think it was the
shrimp salad. oughtn't TO eat shrimp
salad, especially when desire the use Of
my dinner for any length of time. This
salad was not properly made. The col
liver oil was the work Of malarial cod
fish The salad was improperly dressed
also. Its dress was low and vulgar.
We could not get along together.
But made good speech. Untortu-
nately it viii not be printed. Il is a rule
OF the organization not to print remarks
made at its table. So the speech. as well
as the dinner, was complete loss.
speech, valued at ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. Sie W
Dinner mot la5le9................-.... 90
LOSS. <AS W
Nov. 2o-I am home again after tn
umph. We had several eminent men st
our banquet. The ventriloquist, who
w-as to have been the Lfe OF the party,