The morning call., 1891-04-05

sor, and then she was not expected to sit
down, for there was but one chair in the
place-tbe one occupied by the great m
gician of science. Once month the In
ferno was tidied up by male attendant
from the university under the personal SUI
pervision of the professor. Not only was
the door always kept locked, but large
and plainly lettered card was hung on the
outside door. 1t read as follows: Posi-
lively no admission. Entrance to this labe-
ratOry is always attended with danger"
1t was long after midnight when the pro-
fessor turned the gas up in his wife's and
his common sleeping apartment
"Ughw came from Mrs. Grubb-Filkens
as she lOunced over on the other side OF the
bed.
The professor was in loo ecstatic condi-
tion to feel any dampening effect from such
Il trile as this.
"Ah. Josephine. Josephine" he muir
INJURED as he glanced at the coil of black
hair. the only thing visible above the pink
down cOyerlet, you would not lie there so
nconceTnedly if you knew what happened
to me at the stroke of u. -
For heavens sake, Galen," plurted out
Josephine as she Topped over the other
way, what has happened? Speak, Are
we To be stripped of the little we have?"
Calm yourself, Josephine" entreated the
great scientist, stretching out the hand
grasping his hair-brush as if to lay some
perturbed spirit, calm yourself. You
know, dear wife, how for long years l have
been searching for a deadly microbe which
! was confident must exist somewhere in
nature, for l was positive that the microbes
known to science could be nothing more
than the weak and puny children of some
terrible ancestor. Well | have found it,
found it, do you hear me? l have looked
upon it. Nay, more. [ have tried its ap-
paliing malignity upon a rabbit, which it
killed in less than two hours. Think Of it!
What a glorious victory for American sci
ence! What proud moment for your nus
band when in a few weeks he will enter his
lecture-room and announce:
Gentlemen. | have been successful. In
this tuEe l have two drachms of bouillon
containing sufficient number of the bacillus
Grubbi-FilkensH, the Grubb FilkenS mi
crObe, surnamed MOrti-fulgurauS or the
Death-dealer, to destroy a hundred thou
sand human beings in two years if it were
possible TO inocuate them all at one and the
same moment"
"Galen Grubh-Filkens," almost screamed
his better half, my advice to you is to
think more Of keeping alive those you have
sworn to love and cherish, and less of put
ting innocent people to death. This is the
third time that you have turned the gas up
in my eyes this week. and patience is rapid
ly ceasing to be virtue
But. my dear josephine" pleaded the
professor. you fail to appreciate the
transcendant importance of my discovery
Inc bacillus ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS or GruOD-
FilkeDs micr0be. surnamed Morti-fulgaravS
or the Death-dealer-"
Have done with your WTeched twad-
die :" cried his wife, sitting up in bed ana
sinking her finger at the great scientist,
You are fast becoming the laughing-stoek
of the other professors ut the Pansophodeon.
| know what I'm talking about. Things
come to my ears which don't reach yours.
You've outlived your usefulness in the sci
entifc world. Everybody says so. You
should resign at once while you have some
little credit left. Pretty pass things have
come to when the nickname old Rancid
Butter is fastened upon the once famous
Galen Grnbb-Filkeus -
But, my dear wife, listen to re3S0n!"
pleaded the professor.
"pIl listen to nothing, sir" exclaimed JOS
ephine, with a tragic wave of the hand.
You neglect your family. sir You fail to
provide for your household. With your
microbes on one side and your widow on
the other, you'll drive me TO despair. Pm
poor wretcheG, neglected woman. The
world is talking about Us. That designing
creature has been over TO the university TO
see you. | know ALL She has written you
loye-letters, sir. and if ! ever lay my hand
on one of them | shall institute proceedings
for divorce at once, sir
There was but one thing for Professor
Grubb-FilkenS to do when the jealous
Josephine got so far as to threaten divorce
proceedings. ard he proceeded to do it-mix
q dose of valerian and aromatic spirits of
ammonia.