davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
Avoided by Well-Asred Persons.

Avoid beginning q conversation by an
alluSiOn to the weather.
Avoid all Incorporate expressions.
Avoid talking to any one person in the
presence of others in language not I'M
derstood save by the two persons using
it, unless addressing a foreigner in his
own tongue, and then others should be
made aware Of the topic Of the cCnyersa-
ton,
Avoid speaking to any one as chat
party"
Avoid using the words "she" or che"
accompanied by d nod of the head or a
jerk of the thumb in the direction of the
person spoken Of, but speak the name of
the lady or gentleman.
/: Avoid all remarks intended to have q
double meaning.
Do not betray cgOtiSm.
- Be careful not to indulge in furious
gestculationS. Conversation is not ora
tory.
DO not be satirical save in defense of
yourself against impertincnce.
10 not tiattcr. FIattery is offensive to
any person of refinement or delicacy Of
feeling
Never show that you notice any error
in language, either of pronunciation or
grammar, on the part of those with whom
you are COnverSng.
Do not whistle, loll about, scratch your
head, or fidget with any part of your
apparel while in conversation.
Re alert to avoid absence of mind.
Do not ask to have a sentence repeat
cd unless you actually failed to hear it.
Many persons have contracted the care
less habit of saying "what?" "eh?" and
the like.
Never interrupt the person who is
speaking.
Do not supply your companion with a
word over which he momcntarily hest
tateS.
Avoid loud laughing or giggling.
Do not indulge in scandal.
Do not laugh at your own wit.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
SOME INDIAN NAMES.
Those to Which the Crows Answer Are
Very LudicrouS.

Those to Which the Crows Answer Are
Very Ludicrous.
The list of signatures TO the treaty
concluded recently between j. Clifford
Richardson, Charles NJ. Dole, and Rock
we'll j. Flint, commissioners on the part
of the United States, and the adult male
Indians now residing on the Grow res
eryation, in Montana, shows how stale
and bloodesS is the Yankee System OF
nomenclature compared with the luicineSs
of the noble savage system. Richardson,
Dole, and Flint have fair average Ameri-
can names, but only five of the $50 In
dian signers fail to have front names and
hind names more descriptive and pic
tureSque and fuller Of painted pOmp.
The following are the names of some
of the signerS: Alligator Stands Up, The
Elk, Another Bear, Goose Goes Over The
Hill, Bad Bear, One Goose, Bear Wolf,
Pain Owl, Bear in the Cloud, Plenty
Butterflies, Bear That Raises Up, Plenty
Eagle Bear Comes From Below, RED
Mans Horse, Bobtail Bear, River Grow,
Bobtail Grow, Sorre} Horse, Big Snake,
Buffalo Calf. Young Antelope, Calf That
StrayS, Crane in the Sky, Foot Crane,
Walking Bird, White Fox. Wood Tick,
Arm, Cut Lip, Deaf, Flat Mouth, Flat
Head Woman, Left Arm, Little Waist,
No Shin Bone, One Round Face, Sharp
Nose, Shell On The Neck, Skin In The
Forehead, Shout Mouth, Full Mouth,
His Breath, High Hat, Charge Among
Them, Comes Back Plenty, Comes From
Above, Dreams, Fights Fights Old,
WhiskerS, Wrinkle Face, yellow Fringe,
Knows Where He Walks. Looks With
His Ears, Old Tobacco, Plain Fighter,
Plenty Tobacco, Push, Fire Heart, Gets
Down First, Goes On 1t Good, GOOD
Fighter, Got A Pipe, Has Plenty Things,
He Bucks, Hears Something Every
where, His Medicine Is Strong, Holds
Him Up, Hunts Kills, Rides Very Good,
Runs, Sees A Great Deal, Shoots AS He
Goes, Smokes, Strikes on Top of the
Head, Strong VIII Known, Takes A
Gun, Takes 1t Himself, Wants To Run,
White Man Runs Him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

hold on a BIT. There is something worse
than too much work, ami that is idle
ness Imagine a sudden hush in all the
myriad sounds Of LABOR. The cCaSing o.
the Whirr OF countless wheels whereas
men stand day after day through to;lful
years. faShiOning everything from a
pins head to ships mast: the suspended
click Of millions OF sewing machines,
above which bend delicate women stitch
ing their lives into shirts and garments
that find their way onto bargain tables,
where rich women crowd to seize tAe ad
vantage Of the discount. Let all SuS-
pended hammers in the myriad work
shops swing into silence and all footsteps
cease their weary plodding to and fro.
! think the awful hush would far trans
cend the mutcncss Of midnight or that still
hour when dawn steals in among the
pallid stars and on the dim, uncertain
shore OF time the tide of mans vitality
GIBBS faint and low. There is no blight
so fell as the blight of enforced calm It
is in the unworkcd garden that weeds
grow. 1t is in the stagnant water that
disease germs wakcn to hOrrid life.
Ennui pals upon brave heart. Ennui
is like q long winded, amiable, but
watery ideal friend who drops in to see
us and dribbles platitudes until every
nerve is tapped. Ennui is like being
forced to drink tepid water or to eat
soup without salt. Labor, on the con
trary, is ike friend with grit and tonic
in his makeup. 1t comes to us as q
wind visits the forest and sets our
faculties stirring as the wind ruStleS the
leaves and sets the wood fragrance fly
ing. 1t puts spice in our broth and ice
in our drink. 1t puts flavor in life
that starts an appetite, or, in other
words, aWakens ambition. Although
the world is full of toilers it would be
worse of were it full of idlers. Good,
hard workers find no time to make mis-
chief. Your anarchists and your breed
ers of dscord are never found among
busy men: they breed, like mosquitoes,
out of stagnant places. 1t is the idle
man that quickcns hatred and conten-
ton as it is the sitting hen and not the
scratching one that matches out the
eggs.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
k,,rsed by Slavery.

Madagascar, in the Indian Ocean, can the IN 6
same of f. the most fertile lands to b.! be
some u I-,yhern. Unfortunately its
lounu a. is retarded by slave traffic,
P Pr tpeaItbv natives dealing in their
the no we foIIow beings as in this country
P fsrmers trade in cattle, In the center enter
l Ia the island queen is regnant, while e
on ' the coasts petty kings have P put up up
on rne shingles of authority. The ell
LIT, ,,, is healthy throughout
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
Persisted on the Scatfold.

Peers of England have persisted on
the scatfold by the score for political Of
lenses. In fact up to the time of the
TudorS a natural death was probably an
exception among the baronS Of England.
Those whom the battle spared generally
made the acquaintance of the headsman.
But of criminal peers, that is, lords
guilty Of plain, vulgar crimes, without
political pretcnso or excuse, there have
been very few.
The most noted of these was Law
renee, Earl Of Ferra"s distant reIa-
tive, by the way, of George Washington.
The Earl had a most tyEapncal temper,
and one day, in a fit OF passion, he cut
down with his sword his steward, an old
gentleman named johnson. The latter
had given no prOyocatiOn for the deed,
and the crime was an act OF brutality,
inexcuSable save the Earl may not have
been we'll balanced mentally. He was
brought to trial for killing johnson and
demanded and received the privilege Of
being tried by his peers.
The House of Lords was thronged
during the hearing. The evidence
proved to be conclusive, and Ferrars was
sentenced to be hanged at Tyburn. APP
peals were made to the King for elem
ency; but in vain. Ferrars met his fate
with considerable brayado He was
carefully attired for the occasion, and
insisted on providing a silken cord for
the ceremony. To this Whim the eXecu
toner agreed, and the Earl was turned
off, otherwise, like any common felOn.
1t may be worthy of mention that this
unfortunate nobleman was not only re-
lated to George Washington, but was
also direct descendant of King Edward
III. OF England His motto, singuIarly
enough was, Honor, the reward of
yivt11a -
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

Richard Mandelbaum, of San Fran
cisco, will have the sincerest sympathy
of every defaulter who has ever skipped
the country. Richard had made free
with the funds of the house in which he
was employed, and with 500, 900 to his
credit he embarked for Australia on a
steamer which was just leaving the port.
For a day or two he sailed the fair seas
of the Pacific full of dreams Of new
life in q strange and interesting land,
when. snap went the shaft Of the great
ships engine, and she lay drifting al
most helplcssly in the midst of the ocean.
The captain decided to put back to San
Francisco, and of the two alternatives
presented to Richard Of attempting to
swim to Australia through seas full of
whales and sharks, and OF returning to
that city he was compelled to choose the
latter. The dismay and apprehension
that filled his soul at this unfortunate
turn is hardly to be conceived by any
one who was never in the same fix. He
had hattered himself that he was a
rather clever defaulter, he had felt sure
of reaching place of safety in Austria
liza, vet now by a turn of the ship he was
on his way back to the scene OF his crime.
The VOYAGE was slow but quite fast
enough for the unhappy fugitive. As
he had feared would be the case, crowd
of detectives were in wait for him on the
wharf. It didn't take them long to nab
their prisoner, and he is now locked up
in n san Francisco cell. The incident
shows that the Napoleon of finance IS
sometimes the victim of fate and clrcum-
stances which defeat his best laid plan
to get away with the sWag
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
u,,o cuitar at Night.

The guitar needs tho m 40 1ng1d t the
bllnos "ii0 don't like to hear guitar
sWeeeGs S,,r,no the day. For that matter
playea G insanity is more susceptible to
| thinN At + night than while the sun is IS
music "O ,V6on fine shades begin to fall
SHINING man ceases his cares. the
the p nus4,sawifc lays aside her work, and
busy III hos1,, seeks enjoyment. | like the
every every oo y is a blessing to The world
Zines Uhitcon5 htEeJ
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

1t IS said that between the island Of
Madagascar and the coastof India there
are Il, 900 is ands, only GOO of which arc
inhabited In any of these islands
man can live and support his family In
princcly luxury without wo king more
than twenty-five days in the yea. In
fact, on some of these islands he needn't
work at all, rs nature provides the food
and no clothes are required
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
Minor Criminals in Paris.

1t is said that in Paris twice as many
crimes are committed by persons be-
tween the ages of Is and 20 as by those
between 20 and 40. In one year minors
are credited with 80 murders, SO man
slaughters, PARTICLES, 2 poisonings,
IA infanticides, App blows and other
physical injuries, 25 cases of incendiar-
ism, 153 of theft, so of immortality, 45S
of attempted theft, and 1882 of other
miSdoings.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26
HARD PLACE THIS.
But a Writer Thinks 1t Would Be Worse
Were Every thing Still.

What grubby old stopping pace this
world is, anyhow How hard we have
to work just to keep the flesh on our
bones and that flesh covered, even with
nothing better than homespun. And we
are getting a little tired of it all, aren t
we. my dear? Just little tired of the
treadmill, where, like sheep in a dairy,
we pace our limited beat to bring a
handful of inadequate butter, writes
Amber. We have trUdged to and fro
about long enough, aud have half mind
t. throw p tie contract with tate& Bat
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

d. Yea, of Warrensburg. is the
.g,, ''iSSouri freaks. He has little
sa5 'le' and at first sight might be
n, Us an idiot, In arithmetic,
.r nI Ge IS q lightning striker. There
!, ' ~ so difficult that he can not
Tue Ipe instant he comprehends the
On " Series of numbers, no mat
b. o; SIe&t or small, are called to
g,, Ib''9S the amount as soon as the
Pbr9"G,l IS given by the experiment.
'S'cianS have counseled over
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

CowHTDE horseshoes are reported to
be growing in favor in England and
other parts Of Europe They have the
advantages of lightness, great dura-
bility, superior adhesion, and avoidance
Of split hoofs The Japanese are said
TO have used straw horseshoes for cen
turtles, the straw being treated by an un-
known chemical process.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

THE largest county in the United States
is Custer County, in Montana, which con-
tains SO, 600 square miles, being larger in
extent than the States Of Vermont,
Massachusetts, Connecticut, Delaware
and Rhode Island
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

ny TO almost all the charts got
y me astrologists, what may be
Oo' girls born in different months
as follows:
,'ohoary, a prudent housewife,
FL, ''aNcholy, but gOOd-tempered.
a,,G..oF0aTF. a humane and afec-
v, WE and tender mother.
q. '"FyIn a frivolous chatter box,
sd SVEN TO Quarreling,
5,E'lj, hcOnStant, not very intel
' u, HHety to be good-.ooking.
way, handsome, amiable, and
be happy.
f , lmretuous, will marry carly
N.yo'ous.
s, %ng'y, passably handsome, but
s%Ey tcmper.
j.; AaTnSt, amiable and practical,
y TO marry rich.
~ @P,ember, discreet, affable, and
IUyyooer, pretty and coquettish,
y TO be unhappy.
rNo.,.e.mbcr, liberal, kind, and of
i: uec mber, we'll proportional,
'0'eIJy and eXtravagant.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-03-26

er IS the SCOT of wood ashes.
al QItramarinc but little is found
market, Ii is obtained from the
IaplS-IaZuli and commands a
> price.
~% white is zinc, scarlet is iodine
.'E and cinnabar, or native YER
"'> from quicksilver ore.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
THE LAMENT OF pAPHNls.

, nymph, whose faith have so weakly kent.
2 love, whose smile never more may see,
Pity the tears these siehtless eyes have wept,
And let me plead once more. once more, with
theel
did not dream in loves FIRST golden hour
That from mine eyes thine imaas e'er could
pass,
saw thy pictured face in every flower,
And heard thy footsteps In the whispering
grass.
The birds and waters echoed thy dear voice;
Thine eyes smiled at me from the stars above;
In sleep Of thee dreamed-woke to rejoice
And tell again the story of our love.
The tale "a donsl My punishment Is Just.
lifted up mine eyes, 1 turned away,
And lol the flower within my hand was dust,
And darkened was the Light of loves sweet
day,
Yet think not that my heart strayed with mine
eyes:
Nag. love. for IL was shrlned within thine
own.
Can'st thou its pieAdings evermore despise2
Is thy warm beauty hardened into stonea
His work bat half complete. Death stands afar,
And Will not end the misery begun.
Night. railing, tells my tale to every star,
And the day Knocks me with the heartless
sun.
But hope still fingers while my lips can pray,
And Through the endless dark / grope for
gbee.
Thinking, perchanoe, upon some happy day
Thou wilt rslsnt and turn again to mo-
Wit turn sRain.to DO my guide. my light,
And pleading. hoping, in the dark wait
FoP thee or Death to end tho weary night:
o love, dear love, pray, como not too latel
Annie Louise Brakenrldge in Kate Fields
Washington.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
Tho IsRoot ef Travel.

1t is impossible to compare nations a.
II they were individuals. Each nation
has, so to speak, grown up In an atmos.
phere of its own. We must recognize
the peculiarities of other people as neces-
sary features of them, and by no means
as characteristics meant to excite laugh
ter in the rest OF the world. When aast
/ travelled abroad was much amused
by the way the common German eats
with his knife. But habit and meas
ure of experience have toned down these
feelings until they hardly exist in me.
And nowadays l am rs much at home
with the long haired woodman of Sar-
dinian forest. in his grimy little hut, as
in my own English den among my books
and pictures. All the Year Round.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
CALL AND SEE THEM.

II. W. AUSTIN, NEW HOPE, PA, has for sale
Eggs from choice thoroughbred Silver-Laeed Wv
andotts. the most profitable CHI ickeus known
AS-Pricc $3.50 per thirteen.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02

Illuminated night sights are now in
use on the guns Of many Of the British
warships. The front sight consists of a
pale green glass, point up, beneath which
is placed small incandescent lamp.
The rear sight is similar In principle ex-
cept that instead OF the cone there Is n
metal erossbar with V notch In the
middle.
There is n polished under surface to
this sight from which light that first
passes through ruby glass is reflected.
In sighting tho pale green point Of light
which constitutes the forward sight is
brought to the bottom OF the Y notch In
the rear sight and tho line of the ruby
light is brought into coincidence with
it. The electric current for each gun is
supplied by battery of two elements,
30 arranged that the action may be
stopped by turning the battery upside
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Record
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02

The Russian Visitors
Medicine
that has come to stay,
Is Teulon's Rubefacient.
Rub
over where there is inside
Inflammation;
at once it is brought
to the surface; then
Rub where there is no inside
Inflammation;
no effect whatever.
"La Grippe" knocked out
with remedy for
"Cold in the Head"
Kaolin
for Scrofula Swellings, Burns.
Swellings of all kinds, or
Irritation of the Skin.
Sold by
s. w. COCHRAN & CO.,
Cor. Union and COrycII SITS,
LAMBERTvILLE, N. J.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
IT WAS A GREAT SCHEME.
But Lack Of Capital Prevented the II
ventOr from Making n Fortune.

But Lack Of Capital Prevented the Ha-
ventor from Making a Fortune.
My friend B. isn't rich 1t isn't likely
that he ever will bo rich. But he firmly
believes that he would have been very
rich man by this time il he had only been
able TO command little capital few
years ago.
When he CONCEIVED tho great scheme
which ought TO have realized u fortune
for him he was clerk in gas works.
It wasn't one OF your now tangled works
where they make gas out of water,
aud heaven knows what besides, but one
Of the old fashioned, honest sort in which
gas was extracted from coal and nothing
else. Everybody Is supposed to know.
and Of course doesn't know, that ono of
the chief impurities OF tho crude gas,
after it is expelled from the coal by the
fierce heat OF the rctorts, is sulphur
This sulphur, or tho larger portion of it,
is got rid OF by passing tho gas through
series Of boxes called purifiers filed
with lime When the lime has absorbed
all the sulphur that it is capable of hold
ing 1t is removed and fresh lime is sub.
stituted. The sulphur saturated lime
emits verg pungent and disagreeable
odor, especially when tho cover is first
lifted from the box and tho lime, being
hot, throws off clouds OF steam.
Some doctors have notion, whether
well or i'll founded don't pretend to
know, that this hot, foul smelling vapoI
is capital remedy for whooping cough.
Ill IL 1.
them, and when whooping cough is prev
alent bring their afflicted little ones to
the nearest gas works to inhale 1t. It was
when several suffering youngsters were
snuffing mp the vapor and the odor
around one Of the purifying boxes where
he worked that the inspiration seized
him. 1t was nothing less than to take
this foul lime, bottle 1t up, give it high
sounding name and sell it us specific
for whooping cough, Offering a reward
OF $500 for any case that it couldn't cure,
and all that sort OF thing.
'Jeewhittakerl" he exclaimed, enthu-
siastically, when expounding the scheme
to me. Just think Of the dead loads Of
money that is in it, The lime doesn't
cost anything; the company pays to have
1t carted away can make a contract
with them TO do the carting and make
some money out Of it. Then all the ex.
pense will be put to will befo bottles,
labels and advertising. At fifty cents
bottle 1t is bound togo like hot cakes.
There is always more or less whooping
cough around, 1t is an Ill wind that
blows nobody good II am not u rich
man inside Of twelve months my name
isn't D."
He invested fifty dollars the sum total
Of his accumulated savings-in bottles.
Then he sought the assistance of capital.
lists. That ia where he struck snag.
He found their lack of faith was proper
tomato TO the extent Of their resources.
His name is still D.. he still has the bot
ties, but not even the beginning of for
tune yet.
But ii was big scheme, and ne was
very proud Of having Matched Ii and de-
lights TO talk about the millions that are
still IN it-for somebody with faith and
capital.--New York Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
Took Moody for a nnckmnn.

1t is related of Moody, the evangelist,
that he was sitting in his family carriage
at the Mortified station recently as a
train came in. A stranger, installing
him for hackman, ordered him, with
some show of authority, to drive to the
hotel, and, without a word of dissent,
the great preacher did as he was hidden.
He refused to take amy pay for his sery-
ices, however, and this excited the curl
osity Of the man. who appears to have
been minister. He was dumfounded
to learn that the hackman, to whom he
had also made free comments on Mr..
Moody's work in the course of the drive,
was none other than the evangelist him
self Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
SEASON OF 1901!
BROWN PRINCE,

This well-bred Stallion will stand this season at
the RINGOES, N. j., HOTEL STABLES, at the
LOW RATE OF $40
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
A Feminine Carpenter.

A plucky and independent girl is Miss
Elizabeth More, of Edgeworth, Pa.
With her own hands she recently built a
neat little cottage, laying the founda-
lions. plastering the walls of the differ
emit rooms and performing all the car
penter work to builders taste. To do
this she found it necessary to don male
attire, and a young girl friend helped
her over the hardest part of the work.
Miss More is said to be as pretty as she
Is energetic. She was once protege of
Jane Gray Swisshelm, and the lessons
that stern champion OF woman's rights
taught her apparently have not been for
gotten. Buffalo Commercial.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
Nose Ornaments of Barbarlans.

The ornaments put through the walls
of the nose vary greatly, There may be
but one perforation in each wall or there
may be several. In New Zealand flowers,
in New Guinea a boar's tusk. in the Solo
mon islands a crabs claw, in New Britain
thorns, set upright, are the objects thus
worn. These are all original and primi-
tive; after the natives come in contact
with whites, these give place to metal
buttons and rings. In the Sturgis col
lection is rather pretty nose ornament
from New Guinea. 1t is v shaped, and
the arms fit by stud shanks, one into each
wall of the nose.--Professor Frederick
Starr in Popular Science Monthly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-09-02
An Estimate of woman's Value.

A young Scotchman was once hating
betwixt two loves, one possessed Of
beauty and the other of COW. In de-
spair of arriving at a decision he applied
for advice to oanny compatriot, who
delivered himself thus. Marry the lass
that has tho coo, for there's no the deef-
crence o a coos value in any twa weem-
in In Christendom. /" - -