The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-07-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Take lesson from the strawberry
box. 1t is never full.-Westfeld IN. j. J
Standard.
"A Far-sighted Youth. you az
ford to marry?" 81 think so. have a
slergyma friend who'll do it cheap
Epoch.
--Artist-"How do you like the por-
|traiE2" Sitter-"Well, l don't exactly
like the nose" Artist Neither do /
but it's yours. "-Harper's Bazaar.
microscopic. - Mike -" Phwat's
microbe, Pat?" Pat-"Sure It's the
most invisible thing ye liver saw
brakes Magazine.
"A Bad Actor.-A wag, speaking of
an unsuccessful actor, said: ambition
egged him onto the stage and Disguised
audiences egged him off of it. Yankee
Blade.
Shelf hear that Mr.. Sheffield Hall
has written such fine thesis that it
will soon be out in print" Lopher, '91
So, that's nothing, my thesis was
out in print before l wrote it!'-Yale
Record.
-SHpid. -He-'I remember once
askins syou for kiss" She-"What
did say?" He-"Nothing; you were
silent" She-"And don't you know
what silence means?" He--"No." She
-"Stupid ellow"'-Yankee Blade.
/ -'Snip," said the tailor's dude Gus
measure me for a $40 outfit
I'm going to act the poor man here
after" 80, hope it's not so bad as
that?" Eyes, I'm determined. I'm 60
ing to pay for this suit. N. Y. Con-
tinent.
-Howard-"I don't see how Peter
man came to die such lingering death. "
Van Coup-"Iou never knew him did
yOu?" Howard-"No." Van Coup
well, if you had, you'd have under
stood Deaths reIuctance"'-
Courier-J ournal.
The Only Things Injured There
was a fire in Smarvin's safe factory last
night" WAS much damage done?"
well, it wasn't a big enough fire to
hurt the building at all, but it ruined
all the safes in stock. Saturday Even
ing Herald.
II think it is extraordinary the car
rage does not come. Are you sure you
ordered it," said she. Yes; that is, I
wrote for it," said he. That accounts
for it." said she. "Why do you say
that?" "You are so non-committal when
you write. ''-Harper's Bazaar.
The Odd Cent. ''-Grocer-"Petter
you try some dis fine limburger Only
twenty-six cents pound" Wickwire
why don't you make the price an
even quarter? Why not knock off that
extra cent? Grocer-''Ny, my friendt,
dot extra scent is vot makes it sell. =
indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. Sinnickure register of deeds,
comes homes utterly exhausted and
throws himself into chair, to the con-
sternation of his family. Mrs S.
greatly agitated)-''What is it, my
dear?" Mr. So, I'm completely used
up! My deputy has been working hard
all day."-Toronto Grip.
"A pale person applied for admit
tance to a public hospital. at will be
necessary, said the resident physician,
=. fer you to undergo a medical eXami-
nation" When the examination had
been made the resident physician said:
Il am very sorry, sir, but you are by
no means a sound and able-bodied man.
You are, in fact, so i'll, that you are
likely to die any day. We can not ad-
NIT you. San Francisco Examiner.
Entertaining Reading. - Farmer
THAT was a stavin' paper you got out
last week" Country Editor-'I am
glad to hear you were pleased with it
Farmer-"Them stories you had in
about them fellers bein' cured of long
standin' diseases were the entertaining
est bits of news I've read for long
time"