Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-10-08

would ensure the Patriot an immense sale
al the start On Elsie asking whether he
thought il would keep up If he did. Mr..
Pryor dreamily assured her that he had
written in almost every paper during sew
eral years, and one Of his articles went
further than anyone elSe's. He handed to
MIR. HOgg few specimen contributions
that had appeared III the Monday Moon
How Mrs. Longbranch Battles, : 'knights
and Danes Of the Garter" and sketch of
a German watering-place entitled Inter
der Linen These were carefully read in
three-quarterS of a minute, and the talented
author was assured he would be sent for
when required.
a cadaverouS gentleman bowed himself
in next, carrying a shocking bad hat. He
gave his name rs DR.. Shamrocque, and sub
mitted series of articles on How to
Sneeze. " The Art of Catching Durable
Colds 'Hints on How to Choose
a Doctor" and such like. They appeared
20 he highly scientific and practical
until you read them, when you felt as if you
had taken drink out of an empty glass in
the dark by mistake.
\ charming young lady next en-
tered the Office with a tragic stride
and L sepulchral voice. This, they were
astonished to learn, was Miss Tottie limp
kins, authOresS of ''SonnetS on Sin" and
Powder Puff Poems" She was at once
engaged to write her most powerful stanZas
in Praise of Blarnaby. The lady was mys-
titled. She had understood, she said, that
The Patriot was -Blarnaby But she
did not grasp Mr. Hogg's cruel motive.
Mrs. Euphemia j. Shicksper next intro
duced herself. Mr.. Hogg had never heard
of the lady before. but was happy to learn
that she was a well-known contributor TO
papers of every political school. Did she
know enough of Mir. Barnaby as public
character to write anything new about him
that might be useful to the Patriot? Very
well. then; she might proceed at once TO
send in what might occur to her as most
practical just now. Good morning, madam
Il thought | would bring you trifle
wrote last night. just to show my lighter
vein. 1t may fill a corner. Good morning,
Sir,''
Hogg and Elsie were rather surprised
when they read these lines:
SINGULAR LINES FROM AN OLD PLAY.
Have that man Blarnaby ever in your eye
He's deep, dark. daring wondrous cute and sly!
To play the grand duke he has got the itch.
He spurns the poor 10 toady to the rich;
Gives votes TO foreign outcaStS, howeer dense,
To oVerwhelm our native men of sense:
Ana uses these his clumsy. dull-edged tools,
To chiSel us. and make US .eei like fools,
Beware. electors. of his greedy NAV.
Trust not too mucn mis- nimbie neither jaw
Elsie was delighted to see DR.. Saywell
enter the editorial holy of holes. but he did
not seem AT all ecStatic at beholding that
unexpected Seraph III the sanctum. But
after a pleasant exchange of greetings he
put bold front on it. ana gracefully offered
4 brace of new sermons for the Patriot.
They had been particularly admired by
Mrs. Fotheringham, and he thought MIR.
Hogg would respect her excellent taste
They We're entitled Temples of Mammon,
;iuG The Avenue 10 Ease" and Il new pa
per would greatly benefit its circulation by
taking them in.
Mrs DR.. OCEAN came to say she was
anxious 10 write 4 series of powerful papers
on Samoa and Samoan grievances, but Mr..
Hogg thought there was no end TO them as
it IS She then handed in 4 couple of short
and His Bosses Her MSS. Spelt it
BOSSES. y the other was entitled Gould
Longfellow Write Shorthand"
The reporters We're chosen for their Spe-
cial qualifications. Clever Mr.. Romeo Mac
duffer had had profound experience in the
higher literary art Of making himself up in
various characters. He could disguise
himself as Mrs Camp and worm out the
secrets of Maternity hospital treatment
(Which was always Brutal, or as sneak
thief, TO entrap policemen into sharing the
plumber (Which always makes a thrilling ex-
posurel. He could even, at u pinch, dis
guise himself as a gentleman. for the pur-
pose of interviewing some victim who
never dreamt of the object till he saw his
unguarded talk in print.
a Miss Flitterby Spigh proposed that it
would be splendid literary freak to get up
u pick-a- back race from the Battery to
Harlem. the horses. or donkeys, TO be bald
pated burlesque patrons, and the riders
genuine society ladies, of whom she herself
knew quite a few who would gladly volun-
teer. She would write the affair up in
style that would Just suit the greatest pa
per in the world Or she could disguise
herself as Turkish bath attendant, and
give views of the beauties of society from
that novel standpoint. This person was
quite huffed or being politely informed that
her gifts We're unsuited TO this class of
American Journal
Another suppliant for employment in
troduced himself with the air of q patron.
informing the proprietor that the vast wild
west was booming with tributes to his
lne suppliant's) genuine genius Besides
Del e tNe champion American poet. who
turns out stun so like the creations of the
great Ellzaoethan poets that no one can
tell one from the other, he was also the
witttest wit, the funniest humorist. the
boss hymn writer, the cutest psrodist. and
the greatest stJry-telier in the prairie re-
giol' In pro OF his first claim he begged