The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-25
WHEN YEARS TELL.
Florence's First Revelation That He is
Not 50 Young as He Used to Be.
From the Chicago Necs.

Not 50 Young as He Used to Be.
From the Chicago Nelcs.
ut is all well enough for people to tell me
that am looking younger than ever" said
William ]. Florence, comedian, yesterday,
'but am not to be fooled with that kind of
fiattery. l am getting along in years-yes,
I'm spring chicken no longer
That's the way Billy talks nowadays"
said Joseph Jefferson, yet he is two years
younger than | am"
And you're no spring chicken. either"
| retorted Mr.. Florence. mo, we've got to
| make up our minds Joe, that decrepit age
| is stealing upon us. 1t isn't the pleasantest
food for reflection, but 1t becomes a man
| who has lived threescore years"
The first iutimation had that was no
| longer young" continued Mr. Florence,
was last summer when | made an excur-
| sion up the Thames with select party of
London clubmen: Lord Charles Fitzlush
| and Sir Alan Godfrey Gosh induced me to
go-in fact, lot of the Garrick Club bows
got after me and-well, what could do or
| say!-Of course had to go along. The day
after we returned-or, rather, the day after
we were brought back from that boat ride
Sir Alan came around to see me at Nor
| ley's. | was still abed; | contemplated
staying there forever; felt, oh indescriba-
| bly, wretched. But Sir Alan was brisk as a
"'Excuse me, said he. Il thought this
was MIR. Florence's room. l beg your par
DON
"'Come in, Sir Alan said l.
Beg your pardon, but have ever met
| you beforeN asked Sir Alan.
He was not joking; he was in dead
| earnest What allied him, / wondered.
Aha, good joke" said |, trying to be
merry in spite Of the Omaha flavor in my
mouth and high-altitude pressure in my
| head. Aha, good joke; but come now 1
| say, old fellow. Let's be serious
cit is you after all, isn't itH exclaimed
Sir Alan. ''Pon me honor, I'd never have
known you but for your voice. You've
| changed so beastly much, old man, don't
you know
"'Egad have IL says l, and for a fact l
| felt changed. Had never had those Omaha
and high altitude symptoms before.
| Crawled out of bed, tottered over to the
mirror, aud looked at myself Then
pinched myeelf to see if l was dreaming.
Sand for a DOCTOR says /, crawling
back into bed and pulling the clothes up
over my head. Sir Morell Mackenzie
| came Sir Doc, says l, what ails me?
never was SO before went boating on the
Thames with those Garrick club boys |
showed him photographs of myself taken
only fortnight before; he sounded my
| lungs. listened to my heart, looked at nv
tongue. felt my pulse, and tested my breath
with medicated papers.
LAS near as i can get at it. said he at
| last, you are victim to misplaced conf
| dence. You have been training with the
young bucks when you should have been
| blowing around with the old stays You
must quit it, Otherwise it will do you up. )
well, now, that was the saddest day of
my life; just think of shutting down on the
boys after being one of them for sixty
| DIT
! Garrick Club boys were terribly mad about
it; they said Sir Morell was a Quack, and
they adopted resolutions declaring lack of
confidence in his professional skill. But nv
mind was made up. Billy, says to my
| self, you must let up. You've made a REQ
ord; it's long one and an honorable one.
| Now you must retire. Your life henceforth
shall be reminiscent and its declining years
| shall be hallowed by the refulgent RAYS of
retrospection.' To that resolution 1 have
adhered steadily. People tell me that l am
as young as ever but, no-they cannot fool
mel know better"
Just to illustrate the folly OF all that
talk" said MIR. jefferson, "pll tell you what
saw last night. When l returned to the
hotel after the play l went up and found
| Billy and the president Of the PHILADELPHIA
Catlip Club at supper. What do you sup
pose they had! Stewed terrapin and trapped
| champagne. D."
That's all right enough explained Mr..
! Florence. "Terrapin and champagne never
hurt anybody; l have had EN- all my life.
| What l maintain is that people of my age
should not and cannot indulge in extrava-
! gances of diet. The utmost simplicity must
be the rule of their life If Joe would only
eat terrapin and drink champagne he
wouldn't be grunting around with dyspepsia
all the time. Helives on boiled mutton and
graham bread, and the public calls him the
revered veteran Joseph jefferson | stick
TO terrapin green turtle, canvas backs, and
the like, and every young chap in the land
slaps me on the back, calls ME Billy, and re-
CARDS me as a contemporary. But | amt
I'm getting DID, not too old, but just old
] enoughn