The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-02-07
SCANDAL IN HIGH LIFE.
"Self Sharpener Gives the Whole
Thing Away.

"Self Sharpener" Gives the Whole
Thing Away.
By Self Sharpner.
HIGH VALLEY. Feb. Al dislike to
come down to the petty level of q scan
dal-monger; 1 generally have been in
the habit of leaving family fuses and
disagreements to be related by the
excellent and voluble old ladies, but in
the present instance, as there is a
dearth of other newsstand also, as
there are but few, if any of the afore-
said ladies in our little community
why, I don't see any way to get out of
it, if the world in general must know
and have an interest in it.. a
am truly sorry to be the caterer OF
anything but happiness and pleasure
in the community of which am an
humble member, but horrible incidents
have occurred and are still occurring
in this good and bad world of ours, and
were it not for the knight of the quill,
(penciD outsiders would never know it.
l never shirk duty, especially If
can't get out of it, 50 in the present
clss I'll unfold this o'er-true tale.
THE TALE OF SCANDAL.
About two years ago a traveller
stopped at my ranch, hungry and tired
and begging for something to eat.
After refreshing himself, he intimated
that for the consideration of house
room and plenty to eat he would stay
with me. He stated that his name
was T. Mouser. 1 took a liking to the
old fellow, and he is with me yet.
Some few months elapsed, when one
evening a second wanderer called. She
started from the lower country for
Long valley. She was dressed entirely
in black, and in appearance she was
prepossessing, of petite form, in fact a
lovely brunette. 1 pitied the poor, for
lorn wanderer and prevailed upon her
to stay with me unit her strength re-
turned, before starting again on her
weary tramp.
soon discovered growing intima-
cy between Mr.. Mouser and my pretty
protege, until, in fact; they spent half
their time in counting. Finally they
agreed to cast their lots together and
took each other for better or worse
was as well pleased at this turn OF
affairs as they themselves. But
soon discovered that Mrs. Mouser was
very vain of her good looks, and court.
ed admiration from all the sterner SEX
Now right here is where the trouble
came in, as it always will. 1 soon
noticed among the callers one i'm partic.
ular. He was heavy, stout built
muscular individual, of middle age,
with very sensual mouth and ANA
tive looking head. His frequent visits
and amorous glances soon aroused a
feeling of bitter jealousy in the breast
OF the poor fellow-her lawful partner.
Well, this state of affairs could not
last long, the climax came. The dis
turber of this once happy household
came over the other evening, spruced
up in his best Sunday toys and began
to monopolize tho fraii beauty,
to the exclusion of her lawful
spouse, altogether. saw that trouble
was on hand and tried to make
peace between the two belligerents, but
was Of no avail. With fiendish cry
OF rage, after exhausting all the vocab-
DNaary of Billingsgate, Mr.. Mouser
sprang at the despoiler of his domestic
peace and struck him fairly in the face
telling him to the ground, but quick
as tightening his adversary, Mr.. Maxim,
was on his feet again, making the vel.
kin ring with angry cuss words. The
main cause of all this tragic scene, sat
demurely by, not interfering by so
much as word. Well, this could not
last forever, SO after u few more set toos,
l got my mad up and ordered
them off my premises, and to enforce
it picked up stick Of stove wood and
by well-directed blow, knocked both
combatants down, came into the house
and let the burned cats fight It out. 7
Gov. Wiley has appointed the fol-
lowing gentlemen regents Of THO Uni
versity Of Idaho. located at Moscow:
Senator Shoup, Representative Sweet,
Hon. II. z. johnson. Nathan Falk, j.
II. F0rney, Hon. j. w. Reid, II. b.