St. Paul daily globe., 1891-09-13
SHALL wives Obey?
One Woman Who Wants the
Marriage Service Care
fully Revised.
She Argues That Something
Is Wrong With the Rea-
sOning Powers
OF Wives Who Take an Oath
to Obey Their Husbands
in All Things.
A Correspondent Stirring Up
This Phase of Woman's
Alleged Slavery"

against the dark side, which. she says,
is enVelOped in a gloom of ignorance,
intolerance and bigotry, which woman
could herself dispel with the godlIke
command, Let there be light"
That woman of to-day can so Bit
terly resent being barred out of certain
universities and appeal so earnestly for
coeducation in the colleges of the coun-
try, and then so silently, so tamely ac-
cept that anachronistic survival-the
marriage service as it now reads-argues
something wrong with her reasoning
powers or a weakness of her conviction
that she was taken from mans side to
be his eQuaI.''
She may melt the hearts of lawmak-
erS and free the little factory slaves
with soul-cOmpelling poem like Mrs.
Browning's Cry of the Children;" she
may urge and aid the advancement of
the Indian and the negro; she may
strive for representation in the councils
OF church and state, casting her ballot
for the most liberal candidate. ana yet
that same woman will stand before
priest or parSOn and say, ''In the pres
ence OF God and this company | prom
iSe to serve and obey" the fellow mortal
ONoiAAV IiCl. al SiIudl W WllOlIl iltI IlODlc
WOmanho0d should Scorn to pledge
more than he obligates himself to fulfill.
The truth of it is that very few women
have convictions on any subject, and
the few who work for the elevation
OF the whole sex have had more to con-
tend with in the utra-conservatSm of
their sisters than all the opposition of
men. their brothers.
They find in most of their kind a
blind, unreaSoning allegiance 10 prec-
edent, be ii in fashions or ethics, while
men shed the ShackleS of tradition fear
lessiy when once they realize that their
growth is retarded, just as a crab dis
cards his hampering shell at flood tide.
Think OF it, ye noble army called pro-
greSSlVe women: think of it. you who
pose as the champions of slaves of
monopoly, yOn also serve and obeyr'
Or no matter whether you do or not
you promise in most solemn VOW to do
1t, which only adds to the enormlty of
the act if it is lie in your hearts.
In some manifestations women seem
to verify the accusation that they are
morally ''oblique." for when speaking
to the average married women about
the humlliatlng clauses of this relic of
parbarlsm she Invariably says: ''Oh. l
didn't mean a word of thatr' Does she
not then deliberately periure herself,
and dismiss the subject more easily
than rent in her bridal gown?
on" says another, "the marriage
service that was good enough for my
mother and my grandmothers is good
enough for me-" But the service which
the present one succeeds had clauses
which no woman could now be induced
TO repeat after her clergyman, and the
girl OF the twentieth century will won
der and ScOff at the fact that ministers
In the year OF grace 1891 actually asked:
'Wh no gives this woman to be married Z
to this man?' as if he were prelate
coeval with Christopher Columbus.
II that humillating fact is no more,
ana woman gives herself to the man of
her choice instead of having her hand
bestowed for her, willy nilly, by her
next Of male kin, why retain and per
petuate the empty, shameful form of a
once shameful custom?
Some time ago a woman who had made
a reputation as the writer of strong,
logical articles III favor OF her sex, came
10 the usual fate Of WOmankind-She got
married; but beforehand she told the
Other contracting party" that the
serve and obey" and giving away SEN
tsnces must most positively be omitted.
he pest man waited upon his rever-
ehee and told him the lady'S wishes
Beueylng that very important matter
settled. she stood at the appointed hour
before this holy man. Imagine her rage
ana Indignation at hearing the deteSted
words roll from his orthodox tongue
win unusual emphasis. Her friends
were aghaSt and when the part was
reached where she must repeat after her
prompter ITO love, cherish, and to obey"
there We're some present who would
have staked their fortunes that that
Womah would come TO a dead halt, but
she sad 1t without the quiver of an
eyelash and tried to eXonerate herself
by declaring she wasn't going to have
scene
A fair-minded, Just man-the only
sort worthy OF a good woman-6oes not
want her TO stand in sacred place and
commit herself by deathleSS words to
YaSsalage which 10 longer has any eX-
istence in the modern relations of
husband and wife, and if only for the
sake of consistency women should insist
upon the reform which the time de-
mands, surely they would find al
worthy men their abettors.
There has been made and accepted
revision of the scriptures after 400
years use Of the old; the prayer book,
the articles of faith and the creed are
not unalteTable; their false doctrine and
ignorances are purged and pruned as
new light dispels the darkness of an
earlier day.
Men made those things and they have
the power to amend or unmake them;
and though men formulated the mar
Iiage service, it remains for women to
annul its meaningless words by refuS-
ing to have the rite performed by
medieval ecclesiastic.
There are churcheS-thoSe known as
ngelical-whose ministers have au-
thority to tie the matrimonial bonds,
and have equal authority as discreet
men to drop the barnacleS of time out
of a ceremony which ought to arouse
none but happy thoughts. The trans
ferlng of big fees to these unaccus-
toned recipients would doubtless prove
more powerful reason for revision
than any that could be brought to bear
on such clergymen; for instance, as the
one who recently wrote me:
THE words of the woman's VOW, 'to
obey him and serve him. l have no
authority to omit. and would not if l
could. More than this, | say, with all
Solemnity, that any Christian woman
who has any right understanding of the
marriage relation and honors the law of
God, will not only willingly make the
vow, to obey and serve but will hon.
estly and faithfully keep it after it is
Hldue' anu dily "olh"il hou SO VIKING
has no right before God to be married"
Such is the sum and substance of
number Of replies received from High,
Broad CD and Low Churchmen to the
query. Can you at your own discretion
or by request omit, etc, from the mar
rage service?
In one the writer ended by vouch-
safing the information that marriage
was legal without those words
viii not these cOnservators of ancient
abuses, seeking to clothe themselves at
at this late day in the ragged remains
of feudalism, turn noble and true
women from their faith in the sacra-
mental nature OF the most momentous
event of their lives? The time must
come when such vow will be as lntol-
cradle as branding iron on the tongue
OF self-respectng creature, aud