Morning journal and courier., 1891-09-11
RAILING.

Should we rail at man who is on the
fencea-Pittsburg Telegraph.
Awthah-You're very foolish, old chap
pie, if you don't marry her.
Frankie-Yes, I felt that way when she
said mo. Town Topics.
doctor, can't you tell me how 1 can
find relief from this constant inclination
to sneeze?"
eyes, sir. sneeze. Chicago Tribune.
"How do you know that that old fellow
is mugwumpW
"He always sighs when reading the po-
litical news in the papers."-New York
Sun.
Stranger Gin DEVILS Gulch, Wayout ter
ritory-H'm Have you made provisions
for cemetery here?
Native-Why, yes, stranger. The doc
tor and the undertaken and the saloon are
all in the same block, and every man in
town carries q revolver.-Judge.
Rainfall and p-Stranger-How are
the crops7 Farmer-Not wot they ought to
be. Too much rain. StrangeI-HemI The
owner of the farm next to yours COM
plains of not enough rain. Farmer
Well, he's got durn sight bigger farm
than have.-New York Weekly.
'1 want to contest my wife's will" said
countryman, breaking into a lawyers
Office early Monday morning. '.Is she
of something better to say. "You bet,
blurted out the visitor; 81 wouldn't be
contestin' it eff she wurzn't. You never
knowed that woman, 1 guess. detroit
Free Press.
"Why didn't you return that gentle
mans bow2" asked a wife of her husband
as a gentleman passed them on Fifth ave-
nue.. 'It never does to be familiar with
that fellow, or he will presume on it. If
1 am at sll familiar with him he will be
limiting for me to pay little bill I have
been owing him for the last six months. "
Texas Siftings.
Asking Too Much.-"Of course it
hurts, Josiah" said Mrs. Chugwater, as
she applied the liniment and rubbed it
in vigorously "Rheumatism always
hurts. You must grin and bear it." I'm
willing to bear it, Samantha" groaned Mr..
Chugwater, "but darn me if Pm going to
grin" ."-Chicago Tribune.
"Boys and girls" said the nice old gen.
man who had been invited to say few
words to the children. 81 should like to
see how many of you expect some time to
go to better, grander, more beautiful
city than this. ALI of you who do will
plCflSc 1iSC. ACoo phoA1 a oO<Ch 3ooC uP.
'sMost of the children of this Sunday
school," explained the superintendent to
| the old gentleman in whisper, "reside on
Prairie avenue. Chicago Tribune.
Lady Visitor (at house of eminent ply
| sician) II have called, doctor, to ask if
there is any cure for sleep, walking.
have had the habit for years, and lately ii
| has become worse.
| DIR. Highprice-It can be cured,
Madam. Take this prescription and have
it made up at Colde, Steele & Co.'s.
"Colde, Steele & Co.'S! Why that is not
| chemists, it is an iron monger's."
eyes, Madam. The prescription calls
| for a paper of tacks. Dose-Two table
spoonfuls scattered about the floor before
| retiring. g."-London Tid-Bits.
Thirst for Tramp with an
old school book)-Say, mister, will yel
| kindly tell me what letter this isa
Pedestrian-Certainly. That's I. Can't
you readl
mo, sir; but I'm tryin' ter learn, an
shan't rest till do, nuther."
| 81 am delighted to find 30 lsudable an
ambition in one of yorr class. You have
taken the right course at last"
Eyes, sir. It's mighty rough on a trav.
| eler like me not ter be able to tell whether
q sign says Beware o. the Dog or 'Fret
Lunch opening .'"-Street & Smiths Good
| News,