davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
HUMOROUS.

-"To-morrow and tomorrow and to-
morrow''-The three days of grace ona
note.-Puck.
From Speech-''G Gentlemen, we
have great cause for rejoicing that the
stone which has so long weighed upon
our hearts has been finally removed
from our necls. "-Fliegende Batter
-Emily-"Now that you are engaged
to Harry, does he ever ask you for
kiss?' Julia-"He never has yet"
Emily-"Dear me! Is he bashful?"
Julia-"Oh, no: he takes them without
asking boston Herald.
The. pateDt-medicine almanacker
who published on one page a recipe for
making lobster soup with milk and on
the opposite page an advertisement OF
unrivaled cure for dyspepsia under
stands his business. ss.-Recorder.
A spiritualist asks: Ibid you ever
90 into a dark room where you could
see nothing and feel that there was
something there?' Yes, frequently, and
the something unfortunately CHANGED
to be a rocking chair.-Yonkers States
man.
-.'Oyez! 0yez! Oyer shouted the
annoying little brother as he stuck his
head into the parlor. what do you
mean by such noise?" asked his sister.
Eyer feller, John Jaykins, is coming
down the front walk, and the court is
now in session Washington Post.
A Great Business Center.-Tender'
! foot-''What wonderful town Empire
City must be! Only two years old, anc
man from there assured me yesterday
that it contains twenty-five banks.
Native-"Yes. TwentY-one Of them ar'
faro banks. &C Chicago Saturday Herald
-obedient to Orders Hostess Mis-
Rackshaw, let me introduce Hon. Mr.
GoldmedaL" Mr.. Goldmedal dmmatur
but rising statesman) Howdy, Mis-
Rackshaw! ] believe I've been appoint
ed by the-the steering committee t
take you out to supper. Chicago Tril
une.
Two Polish peasants happened
meet. Tell me, did you know ths
Naida's COW was dead?" "Goo
heavens! But you are not going to te
him the news as blunt as that?" IN
shall prepare him. First / am goir
to tell him that his mother has die
then can break the news about Il
cow."-Paris Figaro
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
Heat I'm Digestion.

Eat all cold food slowly. Digestion
will not begin till the temperature OF
the food has been raised by the heat OF
the stomach to ninety-eight degrees.
Hence the more heat that can be i'm.
parted to it by slow mastication the bet
ter. The precipitation of a large guam
tity of cold food into the stomach by
fast eating may, and often does, cause
discomfort and indigestion, and every
occasion of this kind results in a meas
urable injury to the digestive functions
Ice-water drunk with cold food oi
course increases the mischief. Hot
drinks-hot-water weak tea, coffee
chocolate, etc.-wiIl, on the contrary
help to prevent it. But eat SLOWLY
Once a Week.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
SHE STUDIED THE FUTURE.
No Purse Required, just Cheap Little
Cash Book.


Mr.. Slimpurse-Of course I'll take
you to the opera this evening if you
wish it, my dear: but-er-it seems to
me as we're so soon to be married we
ought to be thinking of selecting a home
OF some kind, and about the furniture
and SO on, you know.
Dear Girl-Oh, my thoughts are occu-
pied with the future constantly, and
am studying up all about how to make
home pleasant, and / watch the ways
of married ladies every time go out. 1
saw three to-day going into an intelIi-
| gence Office, and it struck me at once
| that it was much better plan than one
| going alone. One can always find
friends in need of servants, you know,
and we can just make up little intel
lgence office party, you know, and all
| go together when we want new cooks,
and chambermaids, and buffers, and
footmen, and dressingmaids, and
but, my dear, you said you could get
along with one girl
'Wel, yes, so l did; but l really
can't see how we can manage with only
one, though, of course, I'm willing to
try. And thea there's another thing
I've noticed. Married ladies have. so
many purchases to make that instead
of running around to all the stores in
the neighborhood they have the dealers
send clerks around twice day for or
ders. Isn't it cute?"
''Um-there'l be only two of us, and
perhaps can attend to the small house
hold purchases"
THAT wouldn'td do, my dear. / haven't t
seen any gentlemen attending to such
things. It's all done by clerks and or
ders-so simple, you know, and so sat
isfactory. 1t couldn't help being. By
the way, Mrs. De Rich won't have a
coachman with a beard, and I suppose
we must follow the fashion, although
it's silly one"
''Coachman, my dear? We can't keep
carriage
e ''No, forgot. Of course we can't. Not
right off any way, because there'1l be
such lot of furniture to buy, and you
know everything will have to be real
old antique, and that's awfully ex
pensive. I've already picked out the
rarlor table 1t is in the De Grabbel
collection, and was made for Louis
XIV. himself
Don't you think, my dear, that at the
start palmer table might do?''
"Oh, this is perfectly plain-it''
startling in it's simplicity. But, my
goodness, l forgot to tell you of th'
fashion for married ladies. It's too
cunning for anything. 1t isn't in style
to carry purses any more. All we talk
is one of those long, slim, queer ittl,
books that you buy at banks, and pa.
everything by check. Isn't it sweet
And just think, you can get book o
fifty check for ten cents. IN. Y. Weekly
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.


President Barillas, of Guatemala,
has been thrifty ruler and has $40, ,000-
600 to his personal credit in the Bank
of England.
Mrs. Emma Moffett Tying, who has
achieved well. earned reputation as a
writer, is daughter-in-law of the late
DR.. Stephen H. Tying, of st. Georges
church. She is said to be good Greek
scholar.
Senator Higgins, of Delaware, says
they still retain in a modelled form the
whipping post and pillory, because the
state is SO near three great cities that
it is in great danger of becoming an
asylum for criminals.
Mrs. Calhoun, sister of Gen. Custer,
bears a semblanee to her dead hero
brother and possesses many of the mem.
tai characteristics that distinguished
him. She is a most fluent conversa-
tionalist and an elocutionist of wide
reputation.
Emperor William is writing"
history of William l., in two volumes,
assisted by his former tutor, Prof. Hinz-
peter. Two hundred copies only will
be printed, to be given to the sovereigns
of Europe, the Hohenzollern family and
the most important national libraries.
1t is recalled of Gen. Sherman that
he did not like a broad story any more
than Gen. Grant, of whom this anecdote
is related: Some one in company,
where he was began by way of pre-
| face, 81 believe there are no ladies
present. NO." said Grant; ''but there
are gentlemenp'
The sultan of Turkey is at present
an ardent student of the German LAM
| guage. He was able to carry on short
conversation in German with the EN-
bassador recently sent by the emperor
of Germany to Constantinople. He pro-
fessed great admiration for the poetry
of Heine and Geibel.
The princess of Wales, who is an
ardent photographer, is passing her
time Just now in having views taken by
herself reproduced on tea service be-
ing made by Mortlock, the court potter
at Oxford. The cups will be what is
known as pear-shape, with glass-cut
edges or slightly waved indentations.
The Compagnie Generate des Vol
lures of Paris are about to start pa
per entitled Paris Voiture, which will
be procured by putting two-sou piece
in a slot in every cab. The paper will
contain the bills of the theaters, few
illustrations and tips for the races. The
purchaser will also be insured during
his drive.
Olivia Golibart, the young Balti-
more society girl who is about to ven
ture into theatrical life, is pretty and
rather small brunette. Her eyes are
dark, and her hair, black as ink, falls to
her waist. In figure she is attractive,
and dances well. She has appeared in
many amateur theatrical performances
in her native city.
The tremendous variation in prices
for valuable books is illustrated by the
figures for the Valdarfer Boccaccio. In
1912 the only perfect copy in existence
was sold at the disbursal of the duke OF
Roxburghe's library for twenty-five
hundred pounds. A Roxburghe club was
formed in honor of the sale. A copy
with five leaves missing was sold last
week for two hundred and thirty pounds.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

THE AGENT CREPT AS NEAR AS POSSIBLE.
in the diligence, but at Nogent l re-
ceived the intelligence that there was
a plan on foot to rob me. Do not start,
gentlemen, for what | tell you is true.
And for that reason l set off thus alone,
but my horse has met with sad mis-
hap, and / fear that the robbers, who,
think, are yet at Nogent, may over
take me. Now, if you are going directly
10 Chaumont, perhaps you would be
willing 70 take my package in your
charge and deliver it to NJ. Augient at
his office. Anyone there will tell you
where it is, then, if l am overhauled,
the robbers will find nothing, and, of
course, you will not be suspected. If
you shall thus accommodate me you
shall be suitably rewarded. What say
you, gentlemen?"
The two men exchanged significant
glances during these remarks: and
after a moments consultation one of
them said:
"You seem to be ready in trusting
strangers, sir. .
''Oh, not at all, SIR" replied Lafont,
with a frank smile. II would much
| rather trust honest travellers than rum
the risk of meeting with robbers. You
see lust how am situated, gentlemen;
and if you will do me the favor l ask,
you shall not regret it. l shall stop at
Arcis, and change my horse, and then
follow you"
WELL said one of the men, 1--WE
will do your wish and meet you at M.
| Augient's office. -
'"Then I thank you most heartily,
said Lafont, and as he spoke he took
cIosely-sealed packet from his bosom
and handed it over. I'm this, he said,
''there are valuable papers, and trust
YOU will use all discretion in their care.
| Now the robbers may overhaul me as
soon as they like. >"
After some further directions given
in an honest, confding manner, Lafont
bade his new messengers Godspeed
and ere long they were out OF sight
The agent turned his horses head back
toward Nogent, where he arrived in safe
ty, and on the next morning he procured
a guard and once more took the dill
gence. The robbers stopped at the
first convenient place to examine then
prize, but their chagrin can be better
imagined than described when they
found that they held only securely
bound parcel of waste paper. They
knew that they were. suspected, and, o
course, they dared not push the MATES
further.
NJ. Augustine Lafont spent month
in Chaumont, and when he returned
to Paris almost the first object that me
his eye was chain gang of criminal
just being sent to the. galleys IL
Tor1on, and among them he notices
his two friends Of the highway The,
had attempted a heavy robbery sn tn
city and had been detected.-Y ankle
| RIade
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
startling Astronomical Fact.

Prof Charles A. Young, the eminent
Princeton astronomer, recently sat chat
ting in the court of the palace. One of
his listeners could not refrain from ask
ing him in an off-hand way: ''What is
to you the most wonderful and startling
fact of astronomy" THE fact that your
great Lick telescope reveals about one
hundred millions of stars, and that every
one of them is a sun, theoretically and
by analogy giving light and heat to his
planets. You know the Lick telescope
reveals stars so small that it would re-
quire thirty thousand of them to be Wis
ible to the naked eye. San Francisco
Examiner.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
A Sheep story.

Black wool is worth from five to ter.
cents per pound less than the CORE
spending grade of white wool. A sheep
raiser, in order to insure the separation
of the inferior product, placed his black
sheep in a pen by themselves. There
were sixty-three of these dark-colored
animals when he left them one night
but on returning the next morning he
found three of them killed by vol
that had managed to gain entrance to
the pen, while the remaining sixty ha(
turned perfectly white from terror. Th'
gain in value of the wool on the sixty
more than repaid the loss of the three
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

! 'a' 70 the stable and ordered a horse
s.o., : IN readiness for him by three
~ s'A IN the morning, at the same
as.. enloinlng upon the garcOn the
sora - secrecy with regard to his
ssS ~ss0on as these arrangements were
! = Lafont retired to his room. He
soufse knew that his secret had got
81 - ana even in his proposed course
n:,,s sHs not entirely free from danger.
i iiion a francs was large sum, and
a.;.l TWO Partisan robbers had set
3 hearts upon its possession, he had
~. o.le work to perform ere he would
H.; Nl;iy free from them. After re-
IN = the thing. over in his mind for
SDss;-. June new idea struck him, and
s.lg ng number of useless papers,
mn saSatiy folded them in an envelope,
M a ne strongly sealed and bound
. a blue ribbon.
!. .hree o'clock in the morning, while
ii yet very dark and before anyone
49, was stirring, Lafont quietly de
ssg0 e0 rom his room and went to the
Ane ndrcon was easily arous &c
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
wanted the Best the place Afforded.


''The coolest man ever saw" said
the conductor, as the car rolled north
ward, was on this car last night on the
last trip. He was big fellow, and was
slightly under the influence. When he
went to sleep in a corner made up my
mind was going to have trouble with
him, and put off waking him up until
the last minute. a-
"Finally shook him and told him to
wake up. He sighed, stretched himself
a little, and asked:
Where am I?''
90 In the barn, replied
''He opened his eyes, looked around,
hiccoughed, and instead of getting mad
as had expected, he said with yawn;
g Give me box-stan and plenty OF
clean straw
'Then he tried to go to sleep again
but 1 managed to get him out. Chi
| cago Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

: .,r house in Chaumont, and
3 .a.-acv ~ had been observed in the
! ..ions for his journey, as the
!. ,smwas. ~, at that time, infested by a
!. ]. .-ganization of thieves. Lafont
rs notes concealed in various parts
i .s5-ess and taking the heavy dill
81, bis best mode of conveyance
Kgtout on his mission
r.,sinc wor thy of note occurred to
. +Iafont's M attention, until he had
|, .9nearly through the department
/ ks, Seine and Marne, when, just at
AN two well-dressed gentlemen
: iJthe diligence, and claimed pas
- cbaumont. 1t was already too
! n hr the agent to clearly distin-
I tho features of the newcomers,
~ rom what little he could see
! ,.mee made up his mind that their
..snanee were not unfamiliar to
and having come to this conclu-
he determined to watch their
mments for vague suspicion that
had bv some means become pos
; IA Of the secret of his business took
lesion of his mind.
IN diligence crossed the Seine at
! es1t, and there remained for the
II As soon as Lafont had oppOr-
. I'm to examine the countenances of
Strangers at the supper-table, he
ane satisfied that his first impress
were correct, for one of the trav-
at least, he had seen in Paris on
day before his departure, and he
anot but notice that they both eyed
8awith marked interest. After sup
The agent lighted his cigar. and
Lied out on to the bridge, where he
asined nearly half an hour, and al
end of that time he started back to
ais the inu, and just as he arrived al
door be noticed his two travelling
apanions entering the stable. A
slhg of curiosity prompted him tc
loW them, and as he came round by
sstable door he could just see the
omen crouching away in an empty
bill With a stealthy, catlike tread
sagent crept as near as possible tC
Il stall, and he was fortunate enough
Buake ont the gist Of their converse
Then Lafont left the stable he knew
b the two had left Paris for the pur
Rof robbing him, and that they in
Rlnded to put their plan in execution a.
a as the diligence should have en-
nd the department of Upper Marne
hrst the. agent thought of callin;
Oa the gsa5 ddFBes and have the tw,
20 arrested, but then the evidenc
ght not be sufficient to warrant sucl
preceding, and besides he would there
give the secret of his mission to tn
patty OF others who might be equal
ready to rob him. He returned t
nm, and after considerable refiec
on he determined to procure hors
a@cretly pursue his journey. Hav
come to this conclusion, he went t
driver of the diligence, and unde
plea OF having to remain in Nogen
especial business for a day or two
settled his fare thus far; then h
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
Hope for De Flste.

Mrs. Drubbs-My sister is going to
marry that little Mr.. De Fiste. Why,
he's a head shorter than she is. It's
awful
Mr.. Drubbs-oh, don't know He's
small, but he's the champion light.
weight of the Uptown athletic club. ]
guess he can take care of himself
Good News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
AIwavs On the Move,

She-Does your friend, Jack Benaey,
move in good society?
He-I don't know about good society,
but he frequently moves-every time
his rent comes due.-Jury.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
Homeless. .

Client-I want to sue man who
owes me fifty dollars.
Lawyer-What's your business?
Client-I am parlor elocutionist and
Shaksperean reciter.
Lawyes-No use-the jury'd give a
verdict against you without leaving
their seats.-Puck
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
Tnn Like.

Scribbter-Some of my work is rather
like TeEnyson, don't you think?
BronRon-Yes, indeed; in some lipss
you haven't changed word.-WMt
Shore.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25
lGFNTS STRATAGEM.
!. nav in Which Two Robbers
Were outwitted.

Angus T ] n E
LAFONT was
the confidential
agent of a heavy
banking house
in Paris. Early
in the spring of
1882 he set out
from Paris with
bills, n o t c S,
drafts, etc, to
the amount of
over a million
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

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The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

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The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-25

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The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1891-09-10
THE MCKINLEY TARIFF REPU
DATED.

The National Commissioners of the
great Worlds Fair have, by vote of Al
to l6, repudiated the Mckinley tariff
atrocity, and have appointed commit
tee to ask Congress for radical modi-
ication of its more glaring features of
public robbery. This is blow at the
imfamy In the house of its friends. 1t
is the worst blow the lily disguised sys-
TEN of spoilation has yet received. In
commenting on this action of the Com
mission, the Chicago Herald well says:
"This action was not taken without
the protest of certain ignorant or selfish
persons, who see or think they see profit
in commercial system as old and as bar
barous as the Chinese wall, or piracy in
Algiers, but 1t was taken nevertheless
by men voting without regard to party
affiliations, and with no motive other
than the enlightenment of mankind
Without doubt the Commissioners,
intelligent and representative men,
fully appreciating the nature of tax,
and well impressed with the damage
that Mckinley legislation Inflicts, not
only upon the worlds fair, but upon
Americas commercial interests, will be
arraigned and denounced in the man
ner usual to the defenders Of notori-
GUS wrong. The record will stand, how
ever, in spite of the protests and decla-
nations of monopoly and privilege. 1t
carries the judgment Of intelligent
America upon the ignorance and selfish
ness that are intrenched in the fact that
| Repuollcanism must now defend in the
face of certain defeat and disgrace"
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1891-09-10
THE ALLIANCE AND THE BANK
RUPT TREASURY.

The Alliance farmers of Elk county,
Kansas, are impatient. They want
Congress to convene without delay and
proceed to lend them money at a low
rate of interest on the security of their
land. At a recent meeting they
adopted string of whereases and re so
lutions, describing their condition, de-
claring that, while they have "nade" a
good crop, the hand of monopoly has
been so we'll played that they cannot
sell their surplus for more than the
cost Of production, and they are there
fore unable TO pay their mortgages.
The treasury statement of Secy. Foster
showing some money in the u. s.
Treasury seems to have aided to Btimu-
late this action. But when they learn
the real facts, that there Is no money in
the Treasury, aud that the Secretary of
the Treasury has been making figures
lie, they will probably cease to vex
mankind with their loan proposition,
The real facts are, the L. ). Govern
ment has no money to pay in
terest on It's own bonds, now past
due. The great treasury surplus of
four years ago has vanished. To meet
maturing obligations and carry on the
government, the treasury must break
In upon trust funds that should be ga.
credly held. Some of the appropria-
tions of the Billion Dollar Congress, no
tably for internal improvements and
the Indian bureau, are withheld, in or
der to make a false showing of public
money. This has never before been done
in the entire history of the country. This
deplorable condition of affairs should
admouish the Kansas Alliance and all
the other Alliances, that the only solid
and sensible thing to do Is to unite with
the only true party of the people the
Democratic party-and help drive the
despoilers of the masses from place
and power. This done, proper remedial
measures can be enacted to relieve all
classes, including the Alliance, from
the future ABSORPTION of the peoples
wealth by class legislation. The first
thing to do Is to drive the despoilers
from the Itemple, when this is done,
it will then be the regular order to
select the proper agents to go in and
occupy the temple.