Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-06-11

Den these lines, yet TO Ine tdsh an
impelled by sense of duty. What IS
this racket that you are giving me
about julie Grissom? May be you
think am not on to your little game.
II DOESN'T take me long to catch on when
a fellow is stringing me. II you dont
shake julie | shall shake you-so there
you have it, cold and fiat.
The heartbroken BIRDIE.
An answer to the above, protesting
innocence.
s.DEAREsr BIRDIE: This deal you're
giving me about julie Grlssom KNOCKS
me silly. You're off your base. L never
had any truck with julie, and ain
going to have any. l wouldn't play IL
on YOU so low down as all that. NO,
dearest, have never done you dirt, ana
| never shall. Somebody has been CIV
ing Won a lot of east wind. If 1T Is Bill
Joslyn I'll mop the earth with him. Bill
must keep off the grass or I'll DO hlm'
Do not, beseech you, yield yoursell
prey TO idle jealousies. Brace up ana
have some style about you. I'll drop
aronnd tonight and take you out Tor
buggy ride, and we'll go to the dog
show on the way home. With billions
of kisses and oceans of love, ever your
fond WILLIAM
From a father to father, conveying
useful information:
"DEAR SIR: Our long and agreeable
association in numerous business trans
actions iustiies me, think, in address
inc Won upon a most delicate matter. a
Mr. Henry Il. Orcutt is, | hear, paying
attentions to your daughter Maudle' L
have NV suspicious that he is unworthy
of confidence. My two daughters, Geo
patra and Irene. are preparing TO ehter
shit against him for breach OF promise
Of marriage, and / am told that the
Governor of New Jersey has issued
reouisition for his arrest upon the
charge of bigamy. 1t Is only Ihe Sc
vnrest sense of duty that impels me to
warn you TO be on your guard. as
sure YOU that / harber no personai
enmity toward the young man. al
though he has never redeemed Ihe
worthless check of $50 which l caShed
for him last February, and has never
returned the umbrella which he Dor
rowed of me the same day Truly
/ yours. OkDWAi y" 1t IT,
Polite form of an invitation to liter
airy sOiree. u,
"Mr. and Mrs. Col. A. b. Higgins re-
oueSt the pleasure of Mr.. and Mrs. DR..
Rorgs at a salon in their drawing rooms
next Thursday evening at o'clock. On
This occasion Mr.. Augustus Z. Pamoy'
the poet, will read from the advance
sheets of his new epic, entitled, Inc
| Widowed Bride of Goose Island, ana
Prof. Hollowpauuch will speak briefly
Of The Relation of Homeric Philosophy
10 Chicago Development Music by the
mandolin quartette and stereoptlcan
views of the Worlds Fair"
Form of business letter suggesting
certain negotiations.
"DEAR SIR: Recognizing you as
patron of art and promoter OF culture,
make bold to apprise you that l have
first folio Of Shakespeare, a lock OF
Joseph Addison's hair, an original Cor
raggio, John Millions blue spectacieS,
and the first Kilmarnock edition OF
Burns poems, which | desire TO sell.
Serious financial reverses compel me 10
part with these treasures, which, else
wise, nothing could induce me to give
up. Very sincerely yours,
EZRA p. MARSH"
An answer 10 the foregoing:
DEAR SIR: Maybe | will take the
picture. will pay you $50 a square
foot for it, The other things don't
care for. Have you fox terrier pup
that you want to sell or exchange for
stock in the South Side Baking Powper
and Aerial Navigation Company? l am
also looking for a coat-of-arms with
lions heads in it, d gift-mounted har-
ness. and a female typewriter of expert
ence and no questions asked. Yours
| truly, PLUrocRAT hlG BEE
BEWARE OF FRAUDs.-Be sure you