davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
Taught Him P0liteness,

The pay-train stopped at Willow
Bend to pay the railroad hands and
to liquidate claims for cattle that had
been killed on the track in that section.
A gaunt, hungry.looking granger
stepped up to the smart young man
who was dispensing the cash in the
rear end of the car.
Granger-Got my name on your
books, Mister2
Clerk-How should / know, unless
you tell me your namef
"Kerrect you are. You have got
the edge on me there. Well my
name is Rufas McConkey."
"Yes," said the young man, referr-
ing to his books, "Mr. McConkey, I've
got you down for hog"
"Have me down for hog, have
your Well I'll have you down and
be on top of you. maxim it sorter ex'
citin' to you, if you don't revise that
expression. Now, say after me
Colonel McConkey, School Trustee
Fourth District. Your name, sir, il
on this here list as honey fder
creditor of the l. & G. N. railroad
which the amount are ten dollars, the
vally of one spotted Berkshire hog
said amount Of ten dollars it do me
proud to hand you. Won't you haye
a cigar, Colonel?'"
The smart young assistant pay.
master repeated after Mr.. McConkey
word for word, handed Mr.. McConkey
the ten dollars and gave him a cigar
Colonel McConkey put the hammer
of his six.shooter back to halfcock
and then strobe out, muttering
"Some city chaps think there're smart,
but they'll find they has to come out
on the peraries to learn perliteness an
ammar."-Siftings
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
An Easy Life.

A dilapidated-looking specimen of
humanity approached well-dressed
business man on Montague street the
other day and requested the loan Of
ten cents. He was accommodated, and
then the well-dressed man inquired:
"You have seen better days, I pre-
sume2
"No, sir, l haven't"
Probably been suffering from some
incurablc disease all your life p
"No, sir. On the contrary, I have
never been sick in my life."
MAYBE your happy home was
broken up by some good-looking
scoundrel, and you are searching fol-
him ?"
Nope; never had happy home.
"Is it possible that there are nc
romantic incidents connected with
your career?'
"Nope-not one. I've never work.
ed day in my life. and probably
never will. As long as l can get some
good-natured duffer like you to give
me the necessary I don't have to
work."
And the gentleman who never
worked made his exit in the direction
of nearby saloon. Brooklyn Citi-
zen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
A Child's Awe.

One evening quite recently Rev. G.
E. Stowe, of Hartford, Conn, dined
with Mrs. j. w. Boardman, proprie-
tress of the Hotel Woodruff. Visit
ing Mrs. Boardman is cute little niece
about 8 years of age. She is regu-
lar chatterbox, and fearing lest the
child would astonish the preacher by
some outlandish saying, her aunt
warned her to keep mum during din.
ner.
The admonition was listened to with
awe, and at the table the little one
scarcely dared look at Mr.. Stowe, not
wishing to commit a supposed sin.
While the servant was absent from
the room, the little girl noticed there
was no butter on her small pink dish.
She didn't mind holding her tongue,
but to eat bread without butter-that
would never do. She took survey
of the table, and 10 and behold, the
butter dish was directly in front of
the preacher. Wistfully she gazed at
both for few seconds. Never in her
brief existence did she appear so
pensiye. Then gathering all her cour-
age and clearing her throat, she said /:
Dear pastor, won't you please. for
Christ's sake, pass the butter?"
The Rev. Mr.. Stowe never received
such a shock. He leaned over in his
chair to pick up his napkin, which, of
course, had not fallen. Mrs. Board
man must at that moment arrange a
window-curtain, and the other guests
were suddenly troubled with friend
ly cough.
Little Mable, self-satisfed that she
had done the proper caper, was the
only one at the table who could posi-
lively proye that she was alive.-l
Chicago Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
Information for a Traveller.

"Dop't go to Europe until yo1 have
seen all of this great land" said Fred
erick Bond, guest at the Richelieu.
"That would not take long" answer
ed Thomas Churchill. of London.
"You have no idea what you are
talking about. Englishmen come
over here and stay a day or so in New
York, go to Niagara Falls, enjoy q
half dozen hours in Chicago. visit
one or two of the thriving western
cities, then end with few days at
San Francisco. That is what they
call doing America. But you miss
half of the sights. was with party
riding over Arizona few weeks ago,
when we made discovery which paid
us for the long horseback jaunt.
"We had travelled about FIVE miles
over the A pache bad lands, when we
found lake entirely surrounded by
Indians. The color Of the lake was
brown, and its cool breezes were of the
most fascinating odor. We were sur
prised to see half of the Indians with
their heads in the water; the other
half we're dancing and yelling as if
on the warpath. Our guide filled a
tin pan with the contents of the lake.
and we drank it; never drank such
a pleasing liquid in my life. If there
had been cherry in the bottom of
the pan 1 would have taken an oath
that we were tasting cocktails. We
carried a painful to town, and as a
fact you could not distinguish it from
a Manhatten cocktail. 1t was the
most mysterious incident that / ever
came across, but the phenomenon is
easily explained by Arizona sages.
"In prehistoric days that country
was covered with prickly pears or
cactus, from which mescal is distilled.
This growth was covered with water
and mud, and heat and chemical forces
of the earth's interior worked upon
the process of distlllation, just as oil
is formed beneath the earth 8 she'll.
Some volcanic force pushed it out of
the ground, and it was nothing more
than whisky geyser. 1t disappears
now and then, but can be found about
half the time"
"Do you suppose it is there now ?"
quickly asked the Englishman.
Certainly"
"Then I'll change my route and
take in Arizona. Chicago Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
Loves Triumph With Both Feet,
"Mable, my dear, is it true2"

MaDle, my dear, is 1t true =
eyes, mamma"
The elderly matron fondly stroked
the bright golden hair of her beauti-
ful daughter, and smile of gratified
motherly pride played about her lips.
Time had dealt gently with the elder
of these two women. In the few
threads of silver that shone in her
still lustrous and wavy hair, in the
scarcely preceptible lines at the corners
Of her soft gray eyes, and in the slight
hollows that suggest rather than in.
dicated an impaired symmetry in the
pure oval of her pale cheek, might be
seen the evidences that the passi np
years had touched with loving fingers
the face Of this gentle mother.
clarence has asked you to be his
wife ?"
Yes, mamma"
II need hardly tell you, Mable," !"
rejoined her mother, "that your father
and l will interpose no objections in
the way of your happiness. If ]
had been asked to name the young
man to whom l should prefer above
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
Serious Danger

Threatens every man, woman OF child
living In region Of country where fever
and ague is prevalent, since the germs OF
malarial disease'are inhaled from the all
and are swallowed from the water OF such
a region. Medicinal safeguard is abso-
lutely necessary to nulify this danger.
AS means Of fortifying and acclimatine
the system SO as to be able to resist
the malarial poison, Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters is incomparably the best and most
popular. Irregularities of the stomach,
liver and bowels encourage malaria but
these are speedily rectified by the Bitters.
The functions of digestion and secretion
are assisted by its use, and vigorous as
well as regular condition Of the system
promoted by II. Constitution and phys
ique are thus defended against the inroad
OF malaria by this matchless preventive,
which is also certain and thorough rem
edy in the worst cases Of intermittent
fevers.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

all others to intrust the future of my
darling child l should have named
Clarence Dashaway. He is noble,
high-souled. chivalrous young man.
the native nobility of whose character
mirrors itself in every glance of his
eye, the tones of his voice, and in
every movement of his manly figure.
In winning the love of Clarence
Dashaway, my child, you have fulfill
ed every wish that a fond mother
could cherish for her only daughter" )"
"Yes. mamma" said Mable, her
beautiful face aglow with love and
pride, II have got there this time with
both eet."-Chicago Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

The man who makes the funniest
speech at the stag dinner and keeps
all the boys in a roar of laughter fre-
quently has nothing to say when he
goes home to his wife.-Somerville
Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Wilkins-"Before you strike a man
see that he deserves it." Billkins-
"Pooh / have better rule than
that" Wilkins-"What is it, pray ?"
Billkins-"See that he is smaller
than you."-Yankee Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

"Just see that trombone player.
His face is red as a beet from blowing
hard" eyes, he certainly ought to
know what is meant by strains Of
music. Boston Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

"What wise provision of nature
it is that the big, strong man is general
ly good.natured." "Yes; but his
wife is apt to be pretty saucy, though
indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Time heals everything. There is
nothing a man can get so much real
enjoyment out of as contemplating the
misery he suffered ten years ago be.
cause some girl Tilted him.-New
York Recorder.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

An Added Zest.-"Why do you
not eat your apple, Tommy" "Pm
waitin' till Johnny Briggs comes
along. Apples tastes lots better
when there's some other kid to watch
you eat 'em." indianapolis Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Ethel-"After marriage we two
shall be one, shan't we GeorgeT"
George-"Theoretically though I
doubt if they will make out the board
bill that way."-New York Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

If you wish to ascertain if dog is
a thoroughbred or cur, kick him.
If he proves to be well bred, self
respecting dog, you will need a new
pair of trousers. Boston journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Darn your hose, madam !" exclaim-
ed the man, as he stumbled over the
sprinkling apparatus that lay stretch
ed across the sidewalk. "No," she
answered, as she adjusted her specta.
cles, II guess not to-day. do all
my own mendin'."- ashiDgton
Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Brownie is said that God never
made two men alike" Mrs. Brown
"Of course he didn't, or you would
never hear of a woman being married
twice.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Defaulters who are seeking hol,
to crawl out of should head for tn,
St. Clair tunnel, which leads t
Canada. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

"What would you do, John, if
got up in the middle of the night, as
some enthusiasts do, to play the violinf
II would up and play the hose."--
Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Mamma, why do they put the
picture of an eagle on dollars - "Tc
show that money flies, my dear
Baltimore American.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Mr.. Golly-"Your beauty almost
makes me fear you" Miss Maud
ooh, there's no danger of your catch
ing it."-New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

The laborers of this country would
never make good ball-players--they
90 out on strikes too often.-Boston
News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

"Ah, yes, said Aunt Sary, "Jennie's
a great singer. Some day she'll be
regular belladonna !"-Washington
Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

A man can't be pretty, and know
he is pretty, and amount to anything
-Atchison Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Winding up makes clock go, but
it has an opposite effect upon an in
solvent concern. Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Wilkins-"Will you marry me,
Miss Harte ?"
Miss Harte-"This is so sudden,
you surprise me. Yes, will"
Wilkins-"And, by Jove, you sur
prise me, too. l was sure you wouldn't
accept me. So sure in fact that
had IS bet on it. Now I'm five out. "
Yankee Blade.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Do not imagine that the young lady
means yes when she mods after mid
night.-Dallas News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

When the seizure officers visit a
saloon they usually are on rummag-
ing expedition. Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

If you would please woman, praise
her children; if you would please a
man, praise him.-Atchison Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

A dog will stick to his drunken
master, but he will not drink whisky
with him.-Galveston News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

A dog out in Idaho turned into
bone and died. He died hard
Yonkers Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
HUMOROUS.

Birds never quarrel over differ
ence of opinion.-Yonkers Gazette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Mrs. Churchly-"What2 Is it
possible that while ut Fashion Bay
you actually went out sailing with a
young man on Sunday?'
Daughter-"Y-e-s, ma, but there
was scarcely any wind. ma, and we
went real slow, just as If we we're
going to church, you know-New
York Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

"That was a cruel fling" remarked
Goliath to David.-Washington
Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route.
fr;,,a rard IN Effact

Daily. Daily except sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars ON night trains.
j. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
OW. .RUGGLEs, q. Z. x T. Agt
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
Win take charge OF estates for residents and non.
residents. collect rents pay taxes place insurance
obtain abstracts OF title. etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A. NJ, a to 8P.M.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21

Michi an Central.
p. NJ. u. NJ
500 Bay City, leave, 126
l25P.M. leaves Detroit arrives, 40
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-21
Detroit, Bay City & AIpena R.R.

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
Express. mediation. EXpress modauon.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
BITS OF INFORMATION,

East Side, in New York city, is the
most densely populated district in the
world, China not excepted.
Farm lands in the United States,
taking the country as whole, occupy
only 2S9 acres in every 900.
The United States has referred thirty
three international disputes to arbitra.
tion during the present century.
From 10000 to 10000 hairs grow in
human scalp, and according TO high
est authority, they are all numbered.
Easter Sunday this year comes on
March Goth. II can never occur earlier
than March 22d nor later than April
25th.
The bel-bird, in the forest of Brit
ish Guiana, tolls its solemn note for
vespers. The bel-bi-d is white and
about the size of dove.
Some idea of the size Of London
may be had when it is said that New
York, Paris and Berlin all together
have not so large an urea as London.
A great discovery has been made at
Plttsburg, Penn, in the fusing Of steel
and nickel, whereby results can be
obtained which will lessen the weight
of armor-clad ships one-half,
The fastest vessel atloat Is said to be
the 3,200-ton Engli built warship in
tended for the Argentine Government {;
she made 212 knots under ordinary
draft and % 4 knots with forced draft.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
NOTICE TO CO.OWNERS.

ITO W. S. COUCH, A. p. COX, AND ANY
i and all persons claiming or owning any
interest in the = Poor Man. mine or mining
claim, situate in Oneota Mining District,
Esmeralda county, State of Nevada.
You are hereby notified that the under
signed have expended more than one hun
dred dollars in labor and improvements upon
said mine or mining claim, and as will ap-
pear by certificate illed Jan Is, 1891 in the
Cffice of the Recorder of said Mining District,
In order to hold said PREMISES according to
law; said labor and Improvements were per-
TO med during the year ending with Decem-
Der 3lst, 1890. and # within ninety days after
service of this notice, you fail or refuse to
contribute your proportion of such expendi-
ture as a coowner, your interest in sal!
claim will become the property of the sub
scriber, under the provisions of law. !. e.,
Section 1884 Revised Statutes OF the United
States. FRED BUECHLER.
ROBERT SOMERVILLE.
VIM. WETHERILL,
Hawthorne. February II. 1891
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
NOTICE TO CO.OWNER.

i notified that the undersigned has eX-
pended the sum OF 800 in United States gold
coin, in labor and improvements upon the
- Jumbo ledge, lode or vein, situated
In Mt. Cory Mining District, Esmeralda
county, Nevada. Said work was performed ID
in the year 1890, and that said expenditure
was made in order to hold said Jumb bo
mine, under the provision of section 1924,
Revised Statutes of the United States; the
said amount being required to hold said claim
for The year ending December 3lst, 1850;
and. if within ninety days alter the first pull b.
lication hereof, you fail or refuse to contrib
ute your proportion of such expenditure
as co-owner, your interest in said claim
will become the property of the unde, signed
under said section 1924.
II. d. FLETCHER.
Hawthorne, January Z, 1891.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18

SPECIALTIES-Prcse of Natural
teeth, and Administration Of Nitrous-Oxide
Gas for the painless extraction of teeth.
Artificial teeth inserted on bases of Gold
Silver, Rubber and Celuloid and guaranteed
satisfactory.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
Human Fishing.

A novel contest is reported to have
taken place between man swimming
in the water and fisherman on shore,
In the swimming tank of the Boston
Athletic Association. The man on the
shore used a rod and line, the end of
the latter being fastened to cap of
webbing on the head of the swimmer.
The man in the water won, owing
to excellent condition and great endur-
ance, but another attempt will be made
soon to land him, when the fisherman
expects to succeed by adopting new
tactics. The rod is said to have the
percentage in Its favor, as all fair
angling tactics can be used by the
fisherman; whereas the swimmer can
not make the lighting-like dashes or
the into-air leap of The salmon, neither
has he any rapids down which he
could float and rest himself. The re-
suit of the next contest will be watched
foi with interest.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18

And In accordance with law and an order of
the Board OF Directors, made on the 9Th day
OF January, 1891, so many shares of each
parcel of such stock as may be necessary will
be sold at public auction, at the Office of the
Company, in Hawthorne, Nevada, on
MONDAY, MARCH 2, 1891,
AT the hour of O'Clock 2. NJ. of said day to pay
said delinquent assessment thereon, together
with costs of advertising and expenses of the
sale.
By order of the Board Of Directors
j A. YERINGrON, Secretary.
Office ce-llaWthorne, Nevada. feIid.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
DELINQUENT SALE.

nICTATOR CON. NJ. COMPANY. LOCA-
~ ton of principal place OF business,
Hawthorne, Esmeralda county, Nevada Lo-
cation of works, Hawthorne Mining District,
Esmeralda county, New.
Notice-There are delinquent upon the fol-
lowing-described stock, on account of assess
ment (No. 81 levied on the 5th day of January,
1891, the several amounts set opposite the
names of the respective shareholders, as fol
lows
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18

A few days ago while sitting in Elder
Bros drug store at Tingley, Iowa, Mr.
T. L. Dyer, well known citizen, came
in and asked for something for II severe
cold which he had. Mr.. Elder took
down bottle of Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy and said: Here is something
| can recommend. 1t commands Il
large sale and gives genuine satisiac-
ton. 1t is an excellent preparation
and cheap Mr.. Dyer purchased Il
bottle, and the next day when we saw
him he said he was much better, and
the day following appeared /" be en-
tirely restored. This is specimen of
the effectiveness Of this preparation
Des Moines Mail and Times. K. NJ.
King and Knapp d Laws Co, sell the
above mentioned remedy.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
THE QUEENS LATEST OFFER.
A Free Education or One Years
Travel in Europe.

In the Queens "word contest"
which the publishers of that magazine
announce as the last one they will ever
offer, a free education consisting of a
three years course in any Canadian
or American seminary or college, in
Guiding all expenses, tuition and
board, to be paid by the publishers of
the Queen, or one year abroad, consist
ing of one entire years travel in Eu-
rope, all expenses to be paid, will be
given to the person sending them the
largest list of words made from the
text which is announced in the last
issue of the Queen. A special deposit
OF $3.50 has been made In the Do
minon Bank of Canada, to carry out
this offer. Many other useful and
valuable prizes will be awarded in
order of merit, The publishers of the
Queen have made their popular family
magazine famous throughout both
Canada and the United States by the
liberal prizes given in their previous
competitions, and as this will positive
" be the last one offered, they intend
to make it excel all others as regards
the value of the prizes. Send SIX two
cent U. S stamps for copy of the
Queen containing the text, complete
rules and list of prices, Address, the
Canadian Queen, Toronto, Canada.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18
S. SOUTHWORTH, D. D. S.
DENTIST, CARSON CITY. NEVADA.

RADUATE OF PENNSYLVANIA COL
" lege Of Dental Surgery and Royal College
of Dental Surgery of Canada.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1891-03-18

Go ana be taught how wonderfully You are
made and how to avoid sickness and disease.
Entrance for ladies and gentlemen, 25 etc.
Private office. 2II Genry street. oppo-
site Union Square. All diseases of men
quickly cured Consultations free. Send for
book. au2l-ly