The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-06-04
MJSCELL ANEoUS.

The strange thing is that hotel rum
ners are not tho people who run the
hotels -----
"a Poser. -''Pa, ] have just read
that truth lies At the Lottom Of q well. -
''Well, what of it, johnny" IF It lies
any where, how can it be truth, pap
II can't tell, Johnny" And he couldn't
Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
The Japanese murderer of a restau.
rant-keeper in Seattle, Wash, threw his
sword into the bay. A vigorous search
resulted in finding the weapon, which
had marks showing it to be two hun
dred and sixty years old.
"A pretty conceit at double we'd
ding in Santa Clara, CAL, was the carry
ing of large punches of buttercups and
forgetcme-nots by the bridesmaids, who
were robed respectively in gowns Of
buttercup-yellow and ciel blue NOUS
seine de sole.
-"His editorial habits cost him a
pretty penny the other day." ''How?"
His wife had a diamond ring worth a
thousand dollars sent to him on appro-
baton. He didn't like it, and threw
it into the waste-basket. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
"A souvenir spoon Is now made of a
silver dollar. The circular shape is re-
tanned and the coin is placed under a
heavy die that pushes the center down
until the whole affair is shaped into a
shallow bowl that will hold nearly a
teaspoonful. 1t is then fastened to a
straight silver handle.
He (kneeling at her feet)-"Only
this question: say, will you be mine?'
she-"O, how sudden! Do give me a
little time to think!'' He-''Torture me
no longer. l must have your decision
at once" She-'But why this haste?'
He-''I cannot stay any longer; I've a
cab waiting at the door. Der Ulk.
-Damning Evidence. Dogood-
II believe that tramp is coming in here;
bring me that anti-tramp pie!" Weary
Willie-"I hate to do it, ma'am, but
you will understand that my motives
are not malicious Mrs. Dogood-
"Hate to do what?' Weary Willie
''Tako this pie before the grand jury!"
Puck.
Mrs. Newbride-''O, doctor, tell
me what is the matter with my hus-
band?" DR.. sible-"Um-er-he is
suffering with severe, but only tenn
porary, paralysis of muscles, induced
by an exaggerated internal application
of stimulants." Mrs. Northumberland
the horrid cab driver who brought him
home said he was drunk.-Spare Mo-
ments.
I'm a house on Farnham street in
Lawrence are number of interesting
relics of an old-time Bostonian, with
several years records of the Boston
post Office. The latter date back to
1902, and show the curious fact that
then ten letters received in a single
day was good mail, while on some
days but one incoming letter was re-
corded
George Hopcraft, of New York, who
kept famous chop house in Franklin
street, always travels with head full
of funny stories. He says that on one
morning well-dressed man came into
the chop house as soon as it was opened
and fell asleep in chair. A waiter
urged him to 60 out, but he was petu-
liant, so the waiter performed the regu-
lation bouncing act with hand on the
mans collar and a hand at his back.
''Come," said the waiter" you'll have
to go out and take the air." He got the
man out into the vestibule, at which
point the befuddled chap turned upon
the waiter and said: ''I'll 60 out, be-
cause I've got to, but I'll be darned if
I'll take the air. IN. Y. Sun.
"A Pennsburg, Pa, gentleman,
whose barn was formerly overrun with
rats, is no longer troubled with them, and
he used neither traps nor dogs driving
them out About a year ago he pur-
chased a fox somewhere in the west
The fox was given the freedom of the
barn, and in a short time after it's ar
rival all the rats found it convenient to
depart, and nonef of them seemed to
have believed it. eSpedient to return.
Reynard catches rats after the manner
Of a terrier, and when not engaged is
frequently seen following his master
about like well-behaved canine, to
which he bears no little resem blance
He is perfectly tame and goes about the
streets Of the town without being mo-
Tested by the dogs that roam around
ready to attack any animal not Of their
own tribe.
Women accustomed to foreign thea
tiers and restaurants complain that the
fOotstOOl is an almost unknown luxury
in the United States. It is usual
thing in continental theatcrs to be met
In the entrance by a woman who offers
a footstool for penny. After the per-
Torrance is over the footstools are
gathered up for use at the next per-
Torrance. The footstool is equally
matter of course in continental restaur-
ants. The observant man that catches
q rear view of a woman dining in New
York restaurant will frequently observe
that one foot rests with the toe upon
the floor and the heel in air, while the
other foot is supported on the upreared
heel of the first With short women
some such relief is needful to comfort,
for otherwise their dangling feet go to
sleep through the arrest of circulation.
IN. Y. Sun.