Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-06-28

IN the same round. A little later Mr.. Mudd
iouno ne had an engagement whereupon
tne mutual friend turned upon the stutterer
ana SAID that gossiper wnS the biggest Iooi
ne mad struck in q long time. you've done
bafldl' N0' Mr muaa Is MISS A'''o"' ~
d-didg's You uts s.s-s,say sol M-m-m-
| my d-d-deah b-b-boy; I'm d-d-d-donkey!
III n-n-nevah g-g-gab about an a-a-a-actress
| again slongs / ll-liven'
And it's good resolution to keep. in a
new York crowd or anywhere else.
Fascination of the Actress.
This tendency of men to gossip about
actresses is something difficult to fathom, 7"
said philosophical friend to whom 1 re-
lated the aBove incident "You can scarcely
join party of gentlemen on Broadway, IN
cafe or clubroom but that the talk Will
drift into that channel Why a ffth-rate
woman who happens to be on the stage Will
command the time and attention of lot OF
sensible men who wouldn't notice her IL
she happened to be in any other line OF
business, is one of those things no fellow can
hnd out. But that she does is fact that
runs back for hundreds of years. If she
happens to be pretty and higher up IN her
profession her admirers increase proper
t1onately, and those who talk about her run
up into the thousands.
I'VE speak contemptuouslyo of stage-struck
women. Men are bigger fools when it comes
to the footlights than women could possibly
pc. lnever saw man yet who didn't think
an actress a sort of peculiar divinity. Most
OF those who carry this worship to practical
acquaintance blindly overlook all degrees
coarseness and vulgarity. 1t is one of those
weaknesses of our poor male human nature
that has no counterpart"
Looking for a War I'm Europe.
THERE is an English syndicate with q rep
resentative in New York looking for o con-
tract for the delivery of dressed beef. "We
will take minimum of 600 tons month, "said
he, "and will contract for one, two or three
years. But so far we haven't been able to
find any responsible parties to accept, or
even consider our proposals. Two firms now
practically control the meat markets of the
world"
The secret of this effort to break the COM
Siaafian teinatior lies ds in the European an
tract on the American beef supply would
mean great riches to the syndicate and per-
tractors. Hence the money and anxiety on
one side and hesitancy on the other.
ABanana Saved His Cash.
A LIMP1NG st. James sport-I made just
$1,000 on the Suburban.
Bookmaker-Struckt the winner
Sport-No; struck banana. Made it in
the fruit trade.
BoOkmaker-I don't UNI nderstand.
Sport-I had 50 900 to put on Tenny-
slipped upon banana skin that morning,
sprained my ankle and wrist and went to
bed on the tip. Am 81, 900 ahead.
To Travel without Cash.
COLONEL LEE CRANDALL, of Washington, d.
c., has invented new scheme, which he
says is eventually to supercede the national
banking system. 1--WE propose to issue
checkbooks like these" he said, at the Hoff-
man the other day, exhibiting thin books of
certified checks in amounts of S. up TO $40, so
that a man can travel anywhere in the
world without money. The checks, you see,
are unsigned and the book is like a pass
book, only no one can use it but the owner.
We will soon have bank in New York, as
we have in Washington and London, and
will follow 1t with other branches in leading
cities of the world. The book is travellers
letter of credit"
How He Enjoys Money.
A GENTLEMAN at the Fifth Avenue, who
has made considerable money in real estate
may be seen on the streets of New York
about three months out of the year. The
rest of the time is spent IN foreign lands, on
the sea and in pursuit of novelty. when
was poor and hard worked" ;" said he, 81 used
to believe that the only advantage of money
was to enable a man to do as he pleased-go
where he pleased, whenever he pleased and
stay as long as he pleased. I'm carrying out
that theory now. I have been in a good
many countries during the last four years.
live anywhere, though this country is always
in my heart and hope to be buried here.
Think shall run up to st. Petersburg"
looking at his watch as If he were expected
by the Czar to dinner and might be little
late-"see you next time. By by"
CHARLES THEODORE MURRAY.