Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-10-03
A Remin1scence.

"A "Reminiscences
Those who were here in 1885 viii re-
member j. Will Lawrence. son Of one OF
our most respected citizens, and young
man of fine education and much more
than ordinary intelligence. Everybody
knew Will Lawrence and all will be sorry
to learn that he is to-day almost COM
plete wreck, the result of an uncontroll-
able appetite for strong drink. But we
digress. We started out to relate an in
cident in which Will was the principal.
A number of our citizens can testify to
the truth of it from actual knowledge.
Will had invested his savings in a patent
fire extinguisher and couple OF dozen
bottles of some kind of fluid, warranted
to put out the hottest fire in twinkling.
Already visions of fabulous wealth. re-
sulting from the sale of this wonderful
compound, foated through his mind.
Everybody would buy it and fire insur-
ance companies would become reminis-
cence as soon as he could get it intro
duced to the notice of the public. His
| fondest anticipations were already real
ized-in his mind, and he proceeded to
invest in new silk hat as starter. One
morning he made the rounds of all the
business houses in town and pompously
announced that at specified time and
place he would astonish everybody with
an exhibition of his wonderful fire ex-
| tinguisher. He collected all the dry
goods boxes, empty barrels and combus-
! tible material of all kinds that he could
| find and piled them up to great height.
Everybody went to see the performance.
Will, with his silk tile on the back Of his
head, mounted box and made a speech
which he had been rehearsing for several
days, and the interest and excitement be-
came intense in contemplating the proba-
BILE result of the experiment. 'In order
that all may see that my compound is all
that is claimed for it," exclaimed the
orator in his peroration, Il will now pro-
coed to thoroughly saturate this material
with kerosene oil;' whereupon several
gallons we're poured upon it and then the
match was applied in manner that indi-
Gated that VIII knew just what he was
doing, and that it was no experiment that
he was undertaking. Fed by the oil the
flames leaped mountain high "a small
mountain we mean) and the intensity of
the heat caused the crowd to fall back.
Still the flames rolled on and all were
anxiously awaiting to see the professor
exercise his marvellous power over the
elements. "We will now proceed" says
Will to show You the greatest invention
of the age, the most miraculous achieve
ment of modern timesI" This was said
in a very tragic manner. He then pro-
ceeded by the aid of some sort of squirt
machine to apply his compound to the
flames. The flames leaped higher and
higher, they seemed to feed upon the
liquid and became much fercer than be-
fore. They seemed to laugh in demoniac
gIee as they encircled everything in sight
in their fiery embrace. With an ener. ;!
born Of desperation, Will continued to
apply the liquid, while great drops of
sweat rolled down his cheeks and an
agonizea expression of disgust and humil-
iation- about half and half-settled upon
his face. All things must have an end,
and in about two minutes after the match
was applied nothing remained but mass
OF ashes, mathematical, we have every
reason to believe, of the dead hopes and
fond ambitions of the principal actor in
the great tragedy. Slowly and sadly he
gathered his implements together and
wended his way to some quiet and seclud-
ed spot. His grief was too sacred to be
borne in public and for several days he
did not exhibit himself in public places.
Somehow his interest in material matters
seemed to have deserted him. The pub
lie had much amusement over this little
episode and Will was most numerically
guyed. He never did know what was the
cause of his failure. but we violate no
CO lfidence at this late day in giving t. e
diabolical plot away. Two or shree &c i
tain fellows, who cared more for fifty
cents worth of fun than they did for a
whole dollar in cash, surreptitiously OBJ
tanned the bottles which contained the
magic compound, emptied them and then
refiIled them with water and kerosene and
one or two o.tcr ingredi ITS, forming a
mixture very nilar in appearance to the
one displaced. VIII never detected the
change and doub ess wonders to this day
how he came to be SO badly taken in by
the inventor of the "most wonderful fire
extinguisher on earth"
Calmly Sleeps.
D1rn-At her home in CollYer TOWN.