Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-08-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Erasures on account-books are sure
signs of bigger scrape coming. Puck.
When man fights in his mind he al
ways comes out victorious. Atchison
Globe.
When one denies his own statements
he is practising much self-denial. .-Dal-
las Neos.
Mr.. Crossly-"I tell you before I go
that want beef for dinner, and when I
get home what dc 1 fnd2" Mrs. Cross
ley-.'Fault, every time. ."-Neao' York.
Sun.
He (accepted) )-ssAh, what happinessl
Now can call you mine, loveP' She
"Ahl You haven't got through with
your interview with papa yet. ."-1Sras
SDtings.
A Sad Case: Mrs. NIurphy-"An'
sure, Mrs. O'Brien, did your poor man
die aisy, rest his soul!" Mrs. O'Brien-
''Indade not, Mrs. Murphy. 1t nearly
kilt poor Pat to die"
Jake Jimpson--''You are the apple of
my eye, dear" Cora Bellows-"And
you are the peach of mine" "Why the
peacha" "You are such perpetual fail
ure. "-Neao York Herald.
Mr.. Oldgrad (Class of '60)--"Ah, this
is our class picture. All, old boy, we
were younger then than we are now"
Mr.. De Grce---"Yes, ard Laow great
deal more. "-B,0oklyn Life.
"How will / enter the money the
cashier skipped with" asked the book
keeper, ''under profit and loss2" 'tNo;
suppose you put it under running ex-
penses. PHILADELPHIA Times.
They say that woman cannot reason,
but as long as she has her faculty of in
tuition she seems to get along all right.
Besides, she can usually get a man to
reason for her.-Somergitle Journal.
There may not be any royal road to
wealth, but there is royal road to learn
ing. When man gets rich the world
is willing to regard everything he says
rs the utterances of sage. e.-Someroitle
Journal.
She-'sI am afraid that bell ringin.,.
means another caller" He GmploringlO
--"You know there is such a thing as
your not being at home" She-"Yes,
and there is such thing as my being
engaged"
Genius may be merely capacity for
hard work, but it is hard to make the
neighbors believe that there is any
genius about the young woman who
practises the scales four hour q day
Indianapolis Journal.
Emersonia Dorchester = "Oliviuia
Holmes is not the recherche girl 1
thought she was" Russellina Waldo
"What has occurred9" Emersonia Dor
chester-"I noticed to-day that she was
wearing her winter spectacles. "-Jeu-
elers' Circular.
Prudence-"Why did you hurry
around the corner when you met Briggs
moment ago2" "Afraid of him2"
"Why2" yesterday he paid me back
dollar he borrowed six months ago,
and Pm shorter than usual this week. -
Nea0 York Recorder.
''And what" asked the young woman
who is sometimes facetious, sis the rank
of the individual who brings up in the
rear with a bucket and tin cup9"
"Oh," replied the member of the militia,
without hesitation, she is a lemonade
de camp Washington Post.
Alice-s'I met Minnie Renee to-day,
and she showed me the engagement ring
that Horace Fledgely gave her," Gwen
1olip--tsTS IN q DrattV OOoII AlIca--
"You remember the one he gave you and
met Gwendolin--"Le me think. Oh,
yes!' Alice-"It's the same ring. y
Je,oolers' Circular
They took the Fit chburg from Boston
to Troy. AT the Falls the brakeman
thrust his head in at the door and seemed
to interrogate-"Hoosic Hoosick9"
Alfred Rufus looked inquiringly around
the car, and discovering no object in
need of physicians care, appealed to
his father-.Papa, who is sickg"-
Pharmaceutical Era.
A small Bath schoolboy, who had
been sent home by his teacher because
his sister had the measles, was noticed
by that teacher at the next recess play
ing with the other children in the school
yard. "Johnny, didn't l tell you not
to come to school while your sisters had
the measles2" .'Yes, but am not going
in school; I only came to play with the
boys before it begins. bath Times.