Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-12-05
WHY THE RULES ARE 90


WHY THE RULES ARE 90
Raw II d That Behind An Etiquette rAsrs
Liss Resssa.
| TEE su1JKcr plscussxD vnon A socrRfr HAN's
PorHr or vuw-conRox sRxsx OF TABLE
| MAxxRRs-xfIQgsrrH on srREEr oAn-rHr
SAVAGE AND THE CIVILIZED MAN.
ssUrHAr NONSENSE THE RULES OF
w etiquette are, anyway
II beg to differ with you, Noodles" said that
wise old boy, Bibbs.
"Why so?"
because, my dear boy, your remark ID made
without thinking. like few others Of yours
| that have heard at times"
'Thanks.
"Don't mention II In this case I think
can show you that you are wrong. II Il true
! that people generally imagine social etiquette
to be mere matter Of form without sense.
Yet you will find that behind every one Of the
| regulations and formalities which control polite
people there is q good common-sense reason.
Just lot me mention TO you An example or
two"
"Havs . cigar before You begin! I'll
thank you for one Of those matches. Now IRE
away and III listen with resignation"
well, consider SO commonplace q matter as
the ruio which declares it Inbred to eat with
ones knife. There is q reason for that. We
must eat in order to live, but civilized persons
desire TO subordinate as far as possible tho ap-
pearanee OK satisfying q carnal necessity In
partaking OF food. Savages deyour their
ylands as beasts do, tearing them apart with
their fingers. Therefore We wish to give 10 our
own dinners az little IA may be of tho aspect of
gluttopy. On this account We consider it not
well-bred to take big mouthfuls, and we are
taught from. childhood to convey to
| our mouths only morsel at Q time. The NOR
sci must be small enough, too, to mas
ticate without rendering the chewing of 1t con-
spicuous. Likewise all the actions of refined
persons ut the table are intended to avoid just
| such symptoms OF gluttonous eagerness as are
exhibited by the boor who eats with his knife.
His method is but little removed from that Of
the barbarian who thrusts a stick into the pot
and sobbles off the end Of it the hunk of PROV
ender which no pulls out"
Il confess / never thought Of that"
EXPRESSION OF REFINEMENT.
"Follow the idea out and you will discover
that all the etiquette Of the table is based upon
it. Good manners at dinner are the best pos
sible expression of the refinement by which we
try to mark the difference between ourselves
aud the brutes. Why is it not good form to
spread napkin over the chest? Simply be-
cause we are not supposed to devour our food
SO ravenously as to distribute it over our per-
sons 1t is proper to hold the napkin in the
lap; for the reason that the dropping of NOR
sci beyond the edge Of the taElecloth cannot
always be avoided, and also the piece
OF linen is intended to wipe the fingers
upon. The various knives. forks spoons,
and glasses beside the plates must be used for
the different purposes intended, else the ar
engagements which have been made SO carefully
to make dinner party run easily will be inter-
fered with. When you take lady into dinner,
you always give her your right arm and not
your left, because she will be seated at your
right, and in that way you find it easiest to fall
into your respective places Curiousiy enough.
in pictures and on the stage men are almost
invariably represented a. offering their left
arms in such a CASE
RESPECT TOWARD WOMEN.
"How about dotfing the hat2'
THAT is purely conventional sign Of respect,
but it means something. In ancient times,
when men wore helmets or other covering to
protect their heads, it was customary for an
inferior in the presence Of his superior to in
dictate obedience and submission by removing
his casque. II was as much as to say I am at
your mercy. The idea survives in the rule
which obiiges gentleman to take off his hat to q
lady. The respect which We show to women in
our manners generally is intended to exhibit
gentle consideration for their weakness Be-
cause We are the stronger sex We
make 1t q rule to allow them the
advantages Of precedence and otherwise which
belong naturally to the stronger. Thus ono
gives his seat to a lady in horse car, helps her
into her carriage and stands aside while she
enters or leaves room first. In going down
stairs usually the proper rule is that the man
shall precede, should be the case also In get
ting out OF a vehicle. in order that he may be
ready to catch her in case she should stumble.
1t is not expected that she will fall, but by the
exercise OF those 'petits SONS gallant man is
distinguished. You will find that among saw
ages women are made slaves Of and compelled
TO do all the work, but the civilized plan IL Just
the opposite"
ETIQUETTE OF CLOTHES.
'Thats rather interesting. Blu. what can You
say about the etiquette Of clothes?"
Tho rules which govern dress in polite So
ciety are based on reason also. It is O matter
of course that there should be a distinct style
of costume for occasions of festivity. TO wear
silks ana satlns In the morning il considered
vulgar, because they are not appropriate to the
hours when work is TO be done. Appropriate
ness is the soul of good taste in dress What
ever in the way OF Costume lacks fitness in conf
mon sense for the occasion on which it is worn
ia not good form. In the evening, which is the
time for play, women adorn themselves
as much as possible and display as far
as is considered nodes tho beauty OF
their persons, unwilling their necks and
arms. cefta1n unnOrm1ty OF fashion Is de-
sirable at all times since there must always be
prevailing and accepted standard Of the beam
tiful, and an oddly Ieathered bird in flock
does not harmonize well. Besides, to be alfred
unlike ones fellows ia to excite attention. and
that is not agreeable. Hence lady or gentle
man seeks to keep in the fashion and to be
neither behind it nor ahead Of it. The men are
content to admire the brilliant plumaee of the
fairer sex and to afford in their own apparel a
mere background for its display. Among birds
and beasts the male is almost invariably the
handsomer animal, and such is even the case
with savage races of mankind, but in this point
again civilized man turns things about"
Tho Duke Of Sutherland went to q party in
New York in q shooting coat"
THAT was because he did not think II vna
worth while in America to be q gentleman. IL
] had been his host / would have requested
him to leave the house. His action in that
matter was deliberate insult It was as much
as to say: I have not sufficient respect for Won
to take the trouble to dress for the enter
tainrent for which you have invited me. The
costume in which would visit the stables il
good enough for meeting you and your friends
That is fair illustration of the reasonableness
of the regulations governing dress.
One shows by. what he wears, as
well as by what he does consideration for his fell
low beings. have known o woman to make a
practice of visiting poor people in her shah
biest clothes because she feared to offend them
by the contrast Of her own fine dresses. On
the contrary she should have been most care