Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1891-10-16
THREE CHARACTER COMEDY.


Played ON BOstOu street Car ny COn-
ductor and Two Passengers.
There was great commotion the other
evening in front of the depot of the narrow
gauge roud, in which "a West End conduc-
tor middle aged woman and an inter
fering old man took part.
An Atlantic avenue horse car had just
received full freight and was about to
start, when fussy, well dressed woman
frantically cried out;
"Hcre. conductor, ] want you to fix this
lamp; the oil is dripping all over my
dress"
The bell punch man answered tho sum
mons, and after looking at the lamp for n
few minutes said, "Well, | can't stop it; II
you wish to escape the drops you must find
another seat"
but the car is filed" replied the wom-
an, land l haven't time to wait for an
other"
II don't know what can do; the filling
of these lamps is not part of my work.
The only thing can suggest is for you to
stand on the front platform or wait for an
other car"
This aroused the ire of the woman, and
she screamed at the top of her voice:
"Whatl me stand on the platform with
the driverf Not if ! know it, sir. Give
me your number. | shall report you to
the company for your insolence."
Here it is, madam" said the conductor,
taking off his hat and passing it over to
the infatuated female.
"Was ever such insOlence known" she
again screamed, as she gripped the handle
of her parasol. "Your days on this car are
numbered, my young man"
Take his number, madam" urged a
wrinkled faced old man who sat in rear
seat. 81 will see that you have justice
am we'll acquainted with the manager II
the company"
The conductor reached up and gave the
signal to start.
The wrinkled face old man gave the bell
rope a savage yank and the car came to n
standstill.
"You try that again." said the conduc
tor, land l will put you off the car"
Now it was the old mans turn to bubble
and boil
"You scoundrel, sir; how dare you talk
to me like that? Do yoI, know who l amp"
Il don't cara cent who you are. | am
running this car, end if you interfere with
my duties / will fad a way TO put a step
to it."
"You are not going to start this car
me-" And the old man thumped his cane
upon the bottom of the cor until it seemed
as if he would knock a hole through it.
Don't have any trouble with him." in
terposed the woman, who was trying &c
escape the oil bath. 1--WE will have our
turn when we see he officers of the com.
pany tomorrow morning"
Just then big drop of the illuminating
fluid splashed upon her dress. This rekin-
died the fires of her Indignation, and she
called the attention of the passengers to
witness the discolorations of her much ad-
mired gown
This is nice business, isn't it'" she
yelled at the conductor. How will you
feel when you are called upon to pay for
this dress? Do you know how much ii
COST Oh, you don't, hey2 Well, the bill
was just 300"
you are fooling me-" was the tantaliz-
ing reply of the nickel cleaner.
'Wen if this doesn't beat anything
ever experienced in the whole course of my
life" shouted the enra2ed woman. He
now calls me liar after running my dress. "
She made lunge at the conductor with
her parasol, but did not hit her mark
81 am positive it cost no such figure, as
ladies who wear two hundred dollar dresses
do not ride on horse cars" was the taunt-
ing and cutting retort Of the West End
minon.
'Oh, let me get at him. He will never
pull another rope if can just get one good
whack at his back with this parasol, d"
foamed the well dressed woman as she cut
the dimly lighted atmosphere with her
| sunshade. stop the car! l will not ride
with him. would rather walk in mud VI
to my ears than be anywhere with such a
two legged hyena."
The old man with wrinkled face pulled
at the bell rope, and the car came TO {
standstill again Then he helped the Grim
son faced woman to the street. and they
both went over and stood under gas lamI
until the next car came along
| Herald