The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-12-09
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Cast iron--Quoits.
UPSIDE down-The moustachr.
A feast of reason-To entertain
idea.
A corner lot-The "gang" under the
lamp post.
The spread of intelligence-No more
than the appetite requires.
Lost at C-The tenor who reached for
1t but didn't get there. - Yoakors Gazette.
Men with well knit figures are seldom
worsted in fight. - Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The girl who has had faithless lover
should be sharper the next time--shc is
cutlass.- LoaoeH Courier.
" Financial embarrassmcntIis the
only kind that ever troubles Young
America.-B0stoa Courier.
A ring around the moon is a sign of
rain, and ring around the eye is a sign
of blow.-Iecas SiftiRgs.
The crank with theory is like dog
chasing his tail-it's nothing new whea
he grasps it, C0lumbus Post.
"Ah, yes,n said Aunt SarY, ''Jennie's
a great singer; some day she'll be reg
lar belladonna !"-C Columbus Post.
The ocean wearily exclaimed,
IncesSantly 60;
wonder that don't get corns
Upon my undertow.
If the world, as it is, owes everybody
a living, the world ought to get a mort
gage on itself to pay its debts.-Tsras
SUtings.
II men were half as wise in their ac-
tions as they are in their minds, the
word "foo" would be out of use.-
AtehiSoa Globe.
The peacock may not be inclined to
gossip, but he loves to spread highly
colored tail about the neighborhood.-
Etmira Gazette.
In looking for causes, the little thing
under our nose is hardest to see. Just
try to cast your eye on the centre of your
own moustache.-PUck.
"Why is it so much easier to contract
debts than to pay theml" because we
run into debt, but usually have to crawl
out. "-Ne'O York Herald.
Facetious Tourists-'Is it true that
your canton is full of idiotsl" Merry
Swiss Peasant-"Yes, sir, in summer.
But they don't stop long"
Carruthers-"Of what Use is family
tree, anyhow" Waite -"Why, to cast
ones neighbor into the shade, of
course. ."-Ne,O York Herald.
A Western man says this is "tough
world, and it is his opinion that very
few who are in it now will ever get out
of it alive.-Ptarmaeeutical Era.
Ethel-"I am sure now that George
thinks me an angel" "Maud-"What
makes you so positive" Ethel-"He
asked me to fly with him. "-Ne,o York.
Herald.
"Why do they ring the bell in tlat
railroad station IN that stylel H. sounds
like it was tollng" "Probably it is
for the passing of the dividend, "-Balti-
more american.
"NIrs. Garrill fell down stairs aud bit
her tongue in two" "Poor Gdrrill! II
that woman has two tongues, heaven
knows what will become of him ~
Hlrper's Bdzqr.
Mrs. Blaeklot--''Yes, my boys doin'
well to Harvard. He's studyn' fer
doctor now" Mrs. Nextdore-''Daar
me! Can't the doctor do his own study
in 'P'-B Boston Post
Bride Gn anticipation)-'T should
like to give my intended little surprise
before our marriage. What would YOU
adviser Female Friend-"Humi pre-
sent him with your certificate of birth"
Fiiegeade Blaetter
"Cau you help me!" said the tramp,
addressing the doctor, who was riding
past, ''Perhaps | can, said the docto,
"pm Il physician. Whats
your troublel" al think, sir, / neei
little change most" lie got it.-Neo
York Press.
Joachim, the musician, was having his
hair cut, and strenuously insisted taat it
should no' be very short "Well, sir"
said the barber, losing patience, ''if you,
rs n gentleman, don't mind being
taken for a foreign musician, I'm sure l
don't care. - Christiaa Union.