The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-12
BRIGHT BITS.

AT THE MusEUM-Mrs. X.-My dear, want
you to observe this beautiful statue Of Apollo
That one is his wife. ApOllinaris.- Brooklyn
Life.
''WHAr is the matter with your clerk this
morutngi He seems very much put out"
$50 he Is. I've just discharged him. "-BuItt-
more american.
HE-Do you know what I'd do III were
youS
She-No; wbats
Held marry me.-PiLck.
BRIeos-I hear that you are not rootning With
PlankinRton any more.
Griggs-No. be GOT so stout couldn't wear
his dress suit.-Clothfer and BaLrntsher.
''wHAT did you think Of the heavy dews
down theref"
20, It made me right at home You see,
here belong to six benevolent protective asso-
Citations "-Christnds Puck
WHY do the farmers laugh In glee
And why do the farmers thrivef
Fat turkeys are worth twenty cents pound
While shot costs only five.
Brooklyn Eagle.
AMERICAN HosTEss-I wonder why women
never fight duels am sure they get angry
enough.
Foreign vlsitor-zey know nozzIng of weap-
ons, madame ley would hurt each ozhire.
WASHINGTON Star.
Rev. DR.. PRIMRosE-I hear your husband is
dangerously i'll. hope he is prepared If the
worst should come.
Mrs. Surface-Tm happy to say he is. Pa
insisted upon his taking out the policy before he
married me. Epoch.
DocToR-How is the patient this morningS
deal in his mind, Early this morning l heard
him say, What al old woman that doctor is"'
and think that was about the last really
rational remark he made.-Ehtnch.
FATHER" said the little boy, who is that
young man across the way who wears specta-
q walking bigger than lfm6nlfSH
Hush. my son." said the parent, that man
is an idiot, and he Is trying to make the world
believe that he is only fool. '-TerGs Siftinos
BRowN-Do you believe there's such thing
in married life as perfect love? case where
both are OF the same mind?
Fogg-Oh, yes; there are the GooRleys, for
instance. She thinks there never was a man in
the world ike her husband, and 30 does he.
Boston Transcript
BULFINcH-Miss Smilax has simply a wonder
full memory.
.Wooden-why. what proof has she given
| of itg
night, and she not only reminded me about our
being engaged last summer, but gave me a
number Of the details.-Boston Courier.
AT MONTE CARLo.-Young English. Lady(to Mr.
Coiney, who is staying at the same hotel)-Do
you know, must put 5-franc piece on the
number OF my ago. just for fun. puts one on
No. 20. No. 50 wins)
Little Sister-O, 1 say, Ethel, what a pity
| NOW, II you had really put II on your right age
you would have won, wouldn't your FUNNY
| bolks.
RECToR's WIFE Gnstructlng an Aspiring But
tons, who has answered her advertisements
| You'll have TO open the shutters and the hall
door, see to the study fire, put the things ready
in the bath room, then call your master punctu-
ally at O'Clock, clean his boots and brush his
clothes. clean all the Chi dren's boots and shoes
and brush their clothes, lay the breakfast pune
tually at o'clock, after which you'll have TO
get the ponY and tran raady To drive the chill
dren to school, and be back in good-time After
you've dressed the pony and cleaned your
| knives and silver you viii make yourself tidy.
and then you'll lay the lunch
Aspiring Buttons (gasping)-Please 'm-bag
pard'n-place won't do for me. Why, should
want a new suit O. clothes before you've finished
| telling me what I've got to do, and then
shouldn't lud time to be measured for 'eml
| Good morn'n. Exit.)-Punch.