Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-06-10
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

1t was an arch conspirator who broke
and ruined the keystone Bank of Phila-
deiphia.-Nee0 Orleans Picayatne.
CLEANLINESS may be next to goodness,
but the soap advertisement can crowd
the religious notice into an obscure cor
ner on the inside page.-Puck.
WEEDS are often made to typifv sin;
they more resemble truth, however,
since if Crushed to earth they will
surely rise again. Boston Courier.
A SCoTCHMAN. who wanted to light his
pipe, accosted a countryman who was
blowing, with: lilac We got a LIGHT,
Tonal?" eli, Tugal, but it's oot."-
Grip.
81 SAY, Tompkins, didn't you think
that temperance lecturer acted rather
queer on the platform last night?"
Eyes, he was full of his subject. "-LoW-
| ell Mail
VISITOR Gin dime museum, 1S95-C'I
see nothing freak-like about YOU"
Freak m the only man who did not
go crazy about souvenir spoons. "-JeoCet-
er's Circular.
CALLER-"What a terrible cough you
have Why don't you consult Dr.:
Invalid-''I can't. He's gone South for
his health. Good NeUS.
"VERwY propah in Mr.. Simpson to de-
clare that he didn't weah socks" re-
marked Dickie Dillington. "What any
gentleman wears would be weferred to
as half hose. . Washington Post.
"WHY did you name the girl Helen
| Blazes, Mrs. Jones ?'
Because that was the name their
| father mentioned when he first heard
they were twins Philadelphia Times
Miss PRUYN-fSo Bessie is not at
home? Well. give her my love when
she returns" Bridget-"Sure, Miss, it
isn't nississary; she do be out to de
park wild him now."-NeD York Herald.
In view of the fact that silver dollars
of 1904 are worth 81 500 apiece, Colorado
seems to be overlooking an opportunity
when she fails to ask for the free coin
| age of q few of that date.-Detroit Free
Press.
Mrs. SUMMERToN Ito her coachman)-
dennis, get your things together. We
start for Niagara tomorrow. Have you
ever been there?" Dennis-"Yis,
mum. Many years ago l had a hack at
it"-Life.
WIFE Ito her husband, who is writing
note of invitation to dinner)-"Now,
Karl, don't forget to invite Prof. War
zig. He is SO ugly that the very sight of
him will spoil the appetite of all the
other guests. "-Schleisiche Zejtong.
"YoU are out of date" said the hair
mattress to the feather bed. 81 may be
little old-fashioned, but / am no hairy
which retort it laughed until it dropped
down on the Indianapolis Jonr-
nal.
TRAPPED.-Angry customer e Look
here, 1 have only had this suit a week
and there's button off," Tailor
Eyes, sir; | sewed that button myself,
and now / would like to call attention
to your account. &c 7othier and Fur
niSher.
Mrs. BRowN-''I declare! Just hear
| that canary singl It's always so; every
time anybody begins to play on the
piano that bird begins to chatter" Mrs.
| Whitley one would almost think
| the bird to be human. boston Tran
script.
GRAMMAR AS SHE Is Decentralization
Tommy, can you give me sentence
in which but is a conjunction ?"
Butt is conjunction, and connects the
| bow with the goat. "-Bdltimor Aneri-
can.
OUR friend Cadet was buttonholed on
the boulevard by bore, who said to
| him:
"You don't look at all well this morn
ing"
IT dare say not; have been lying in
sensible for eight hours"
Dear me! What was the matter
with your"
Il was asleep. Ta-ta l''-Le Patriotic
A man whose soul is narrowed is not
necessarily a cultured individual.-Bos-
ton Herald.