The critic., 1891-01-30
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.
1lc-Will you name the month";
Shc-No-no--November.-EpOcb.

she-No-no--Novem vember.-Epoch.
We are all of us apt to think that our own
way IL the best and 1t is--in our OPINION
ScntrCUe JCmHdt
They called each other "blrdic" once,
But quarrelcd. SO to-day
chattcrlng parrot he CALI her,
While she says he's Jay.
-Iadiaadpolis journal.
~ don't like his technique lie pounds so.''
"Tnat isn't technique It's Wagner. Puck
Little Jobnuy-ssay, father what makes the
baby cry every time 1t wakes upy
Brown-Wel ell, from what ] know of babies,
II cries from yexation to find that It has kept
liz. '''7 w. - '' '''"''"
Next to morosc disposition II s doubtful
whether any misfortune IL greater than de-
fective sense OF hnmor Affection IL the great
sweotencr of life, but next TO 1t as n palliation
comes that quick sense of the ridiculous or the
grotesque, which brings a laugh even to the
face OF evaporation. .--LondOR (Oatarto) Ad-
r6riis6r.
AT last my genius is recognizsd.' cx-
claimed the artist, exultingly, US he waved a
letter aloft
"oh, tell me about It," said his delighted
little wife In repN
~ his letter IL from prominent soap firm,
asking me to paint picture to be used US an
advertisement "-Epoch.
Miss Fithave-Dont you ever have chapcrons
in Chicagos
Miss Numternine-Ycs, had one for little
while once, but mamma ncyer'd lot me have
another.
Miss Fithave-why, what did your chaperon
doi
Miss Numbernine-sh clopcd with papa
NeiD York Sun.
the audience in the death eceney BY George
they were crying all over the house!
Stage Manager-Yes. They knew you weren't
really Chicago Tribune.
Dramatist (hrst nighD-lIa! is that u man
biaslngi
Managor-No. II IL q man In one of tn, back
seata snoring. He has peculiar snorc, hasn't
he?-Netp York San.
Professional Guide Ito palace car porter)-I
have an English lord In charge, ana want
him 10 get good Impression OF the comforts OF
travel in this country. Here's IS.
Porter-Yes, sah. Do you want Inc to glib
him extra attention, sab?
Guide-.Great Scott, mol want You to keep
| away from him.--Nep York WceklV.
Loving Mother-Do you sull kneel down
| every night and say your prayers!
SON (who lives in the city)-I say my prayers,
mother, but don't kneel.
Mother-Can 1t be possible that you have so
far forgotten my early tcachingsi
son--No, mother but I'm afraid the folding
bed might double up with mc.-LiJe.
When young mans former sweetheart tells
| him she IL going to marry somebody else he
holds out his hand to her and says, II hope you
|
that in his secret heart he hopes she won't
| SCmsrpiNe Journal
| In the light lexicon OF the social sinner there
| Is no such word ~ liar. When o charming
| woman glanccs with suppressed cry OF vexa
| ton at the card OF an unwecome caller, and
| few minutes later sweeps into her reception
| room with outstretched arms and so.good
of-you-tocome on her smiling lips-she has moi
| led. Her little flb II one of the multiform
yenial sins which polite society not only con
dones, but exacts as proof OF good breeding
| Phiiddelphia Press.
"And is there anything you ever did that yol
are really sorry forf" asked the good brother
who had come In to prepare the dying man fo
the last great change. as there anything
you'd like TO free your mind OF before you goi'
Yes" feebly murmured the dying man
there Is one thing that weighs upon my soul
one thing which 1 must confess, and reley,
my conscience OF n terrible load. In shovel
ing OH my sidewalk, many years ago, fea
| that drew the line further than I'd ought to
70 that / shovelled on two or three inches o
my neighbor's walk. DO you think II viii b.
forgiven mci"
Good Hrother-You needn't worry. Noboll
III ever believe II OF you.-Bost0a TranScripl