The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1891-03-19
WAITING FOR MARK TO DIE.
Humorist Twain Tells How His Skeleton
is Mortsaged.
Pharmaceutical Era.

Pharmaceutical Era.
Mark Twain was present at the ban
ouet of the National Wholesale Drug
aists' Association at its meeting IL
Washington, and related the following
story:
About a thousand years ago, approx
mately. I was appreDticed as prin-
ter,s devil to learn the trade, IN com
mon with three other boys Of about
my own age. There came 10 the VII
lage a long-legged Individual OF about
nineteen, from one Of the interior
counties tish-eyed, no expression, anc
without the suggestion Of a smile
couldn't have smiled for salary. We
took him for a fool and thought we
would try to scare him to death. We
went to the village druggist and Dor
rowed skeleton The--skeleton didn't
belong to the druggist, but he had i'm
ported it for the village doctor, be
cause the doctor thought he would
send away for it, having some 0elicacy
about using. The price Of the
skeleton at tn; ne Was $50.
We borro, ,. the skeleton about s
o'clock at night, and we got this man
-Nicodemus Dodge was his name-we
got him down town, out of the way,
and then we put the skeleton in his
bed. He lived in little one-storied
log cabin in the middle Of vacant
lot. We left him to get home by him
self.
We enjoyed the result in the light OF
anticipation, but by and by we began
to drop into silence; the possible con-
sequences were preying upon us. Sup
pose that it frightens him into mad
ness, overturns his reason and sends
him screeching through the streets?
We shall spend sleepiess nights the rest
of our days. Everybody was afraid.
By and by it was forced to the lips OF
one of US that we had better so at once
and see what had happened. Loaded
down with crime we approached that
hut and peered through the window.
The long-lecged critter was sitting on
his bed with l hunk Of gingerbread IL
his hand, and between the bites he
played tune on jews harp. There
he sat perfectly happy, and all around
him on the bed were toys and jim
cracks and striped candy. The darned
cuss! he had gone and sold that skeie-
ton for IS. The druggists $50 skele-
ton was gone.
We went in tears to the druggist and
explained the matter. We couldn't
have raised that $50 in 25Q years. We
were getting board and clothing for
The second year, clothing and board for
t. second year, and both Of them for
lie third year; but the druggist for
gave US on the spot, but he said he
would like US to let hiEl have our skel-
etons when We were done with them.
There couldn't be anything fairer than
that; we spouted our skeletons and
went away comfortable.
But from that time the druggists
prosperity ceased. That was one Of
the most unfortunate speculations he
ever went into. After some years one
of the boys went and got drowned
that was one skeleton gone, and I tel
you the druggist felt pretty badly about
it. \ few years after another Of the
boys went up in balloon. He was to
get S. an hour for It. When he gets
back they will be owing him 81 ,Op0, GOO.
The druggists property was &C.
creasing right along. After few more
years the third boy tried an expert
ment to see if q dynamite charge would |
go. 1t went all right. They found |
some of him, perhaps vest pockettul;
still it was enough to show that some |
more Of that estate had gone.
The druggist was getting along in
years, and he commenced to CORES
pond with me. l have been the best
correspondent he has. He IS the sweet
est natured man | ever saw always
mild and polite, and never wants to
hurry me 1t all. l get letter from
him every now and then, and he never
l.. l