Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-22
The Worst Kind of Snakes.

But the snakes that will soon be basking un-
der the Southern sun are not the only reptiles
you hear about at the Springs. Yesterday
when went 10 see my doctor was impressed
with this fact. The waiting room, as usual.
was fairly filled with cripples of one sort and
another, but after half An hours session the
line was reduced to three persons, including
myself. 1t was about l P. NJ, at which hour
they lock the doors of the ante chamber in
this physician's office. for if they did not he
could not get any lunch. The door leading to the
consulting room, the holy of holies where the
great physician gives audience, was locked as
each patient passed in,-indesd, the entrance
was fortified with double doors. The waiting
room was very hot and not over sweet to the
nose, but none of US noticed that during the
hnal moments of our stay there.
One of us was stout elderly man. with a
gray stubbly beard and very red face. Two
things about him attracted my attention. the
restless rolling of his eyes and a Brobdinagian
walking stick of oak which he kept tapping on
the floor. After the door was iocked-and the
room began to get hotter-I noticed that the
eyes OF my companion revolyed faster and the
drumming OF the cane grew louder. Suddenly
he startled us by jumping up from his seat and
dealing the iron stove a vicious blow with the
club.
This is frightfulr' he exclaimed.
Thinking that he alluded to the heat, as per-
haps he did, assented. and the other man was
proposing TO open a window that let in light
from the hall, when the door of the inner
chamber opened and the physician appeared
on the threshold This effected diversion,
and the gentleman who was attempting to raise
the sash accepted the DOCTORS invitation to step
into his room. The double doors were locked
Il heard the click of the key very plainly.
81 can't stand thisT' said the apoplectic gen.
tleman with whom was now left alone. He
came toward me and. without another word,
knocked the paper / was reading out of my
hand. 1t was st. Louis paper, two days old,
but even that did not account for such violent
attack. To say that / felt uncomfortable is
putting it rather mildly. After the paper fell,
however, was relieved to see my assailant
wheel about and throw himself into a chair.
"Come here Jack! Good dog, now," was his
next exclamation, with his ewes fixed on space,
and clicking with his fingers as a man does
when calling a dog. But such mildness did not
mark his next words; a torrent of profanity
and incoherent adj uration to snakes and wild
creatures of all sorts, from which he evidently
felt he must defend himself. for be thrashed
the air with his oak club. OF course, knew
what allied him early in the proceedings. but
the knowledge did not detract from the dis
of the interview. There was no way
of escape, and it seemed cowardly
to yell for help. The gentleman
with the club kindly kept to the other end OF
the room with his imagined menagerie, but all
the same 1 felt relieved in no small de-
gree when the door again opened and the digni-
ned doctor. waving back the excited dipso-
maniac with one hand, offered me the other
and conducted me into the consulting room.
When he had closed the double doors the doc
tor said: ''Pity that man will drink. He has .
lovely wife and splendid business. Some of
these days whisky will kill him."
Thinking of the unpleasant quarter of an
help remarking that merciful providence
might do worse than to allow the whisky to kill
the greatly blessed man with the oak club be-
fore he killed somebody else.