The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-06-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

your bill called additional expenses"
for? Plumber-That is for my time
consumed in making out the bill.-Yan-
kee Blade.
A Necessary Qualifcation-Cum
81 think l will become a professional
literary critic Fangle-"You can't!
You have not got the dyspepsia" -
Niagara Spray.
--Drummer-''Havey you FIRE escape
III this hotel?" Boniface = ''We have
ten of them" Drummer-''Thought so.
The fire all escaped from my room last
night and l almost froze." - jewelers.
Circular
Not Sprinter. you see that
man over there? How extraordinarily
slow he seems in all his movements
mo wonder That is Gambits, the cele-
brated chess player" - Chicago Satur-
day Herald.
-Unintentional.-' ST have Just heard
that my family physician is dead. Just
think! He was scarcely thirty years
old" ''Then 1 must say that l don't
see how you can have any confidence in
a physician who dies so early" File
gende Batter.
Under ''sketchy little thing" ex-
hibited by Jones, there hangs a printed
card which bears the words: do not
touch with canes or umbrellas An
unappreciative small boy added the fol-
lowing postscript: ''Take Ak"
-''Do you know" said Miss Belle
Pepperton to Gus De Jay, that think
you would be an excellent subject for a
poem?" suggested that
| to you?" 81 was reading some of the
verses in the obituary column. Wash
ington Post.
"A Sketch.-Wife (fretfully)-"Some-
thing is going to happen, dearest. Yes,
yes have presentiment. / feel sure
of it." Husband thoroughly acquaint-
ed with his spouse mo, think not.
The dressmaller and milliner called
while you were out and settled
the bills" Wife (rapturously) )-'Dar-
ling American Grocer.
-Fogg What things women are to
take fellow in earnest" Brown-''As
for instanee?" Fogg-"When my wife
started for New York, said in per-
functory way, 'By-by, my dear. and
(
me 1 suspect she's been doing but little
else since she went away. boston
Transcript.
The Captain ,-"Col. Waxem will be
banqueted after his wedding tonight,
and am to respon,, to the toast, None
but the brave deserve the fair What
the deuce shall l say?" The Major-'I
hardy know how to advise you. After
you've seen the bride, you'll have to
turn your speech into an argument to
prove either that Waxem isn't brave OF
that he isn't getting his deserts. kate
Fields Washington.
Out of the Question.-Great Mer
chant-s'The business has increased SC
in the past year, Mr.. Penwiper, that
when you order the new account books
you had better get them twice the sizt
of the old ones" Mr.. Penwiper-"Yes
sir. Don't you think, sir, in view of thi;
my salary?" Great Merchant-"What
After such an expensive set of books.
couldn't think of it. t.''-Brooklyn Life.
He Was Mistaken.-He-''I know
Miss Kaiones, that it looks like grea
presumption for me to speak of love tC
you. / have neither youth nor goot
looks / am poor, uneducated and havt
no influential friends. have nothing
that can attract the admiration of
young lady" She-"You are mistaken
Mr.. Winchester, l admire your magnif
J cent nerve Chicago Tribune.
Lecturer on Art-'BeforeI sit dow
. I shall be happy to answer any quef
J, tions that any of you may wish to ask
!. Gentleman in Audience-'T have er
!, ioyed the lecture much, sir, and hav
+ understood it all except a few technica
terms. viii you please tell me wha
|. you mean by the words perspective
y 'fresco' and 'mickle-anjelo?' F" Lecture
n sits down discouraged.-N Y. Ledger