Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1891-07-08
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
Mr., BowsER's LITTLE LESSON AND How
He Took IT.

Mr.. BowsER's LITTLE LESSON AND How
He Took 1T.
"Mrs. Bowser,' began Mr.. Bowser, as
he came down stairs the other morning, 'Is
this house run on system or is everything
expected to take care of itseli?'
"What do you mean?" she asked.
81 mean that have been locking Tor
shoestring for the last hour and hall: and
that nothing of the sort is to be found!
s'No; don't believe there is one IN the
house."
81 presume not presume the two hun
dred pairs bought in Detroit the Day pe-
fore we left have all been che we'd up oy
the cat or sold to the ragman. Ii there's
a worse run house than ours in America
I'd like to see it'll"
sWhy, Mr.. Bowser, you only brought
home three shoestripgs, and yau nsed two
of those to tie up your papars!'
"Well, where's the other?"
Il can't tell. We may have lost it in
moving and unpacking"
sDon't doubs it in the least While
shoestripg is not as big as piano or as
valuable as clock, the loss of it shows
want of system. a reckless extravaganza
truly discouraging. Have you got piece
of clothes line in the hOuse?
sI-I don't think so," sne stammered.
s'Probably not! Probably gone to join
the shoestring! I must have something
to tie up my shoe with, howevAr, and l will
use piece of stovepipe wire
After breakfast, when ready to go out; he
said:
"Mrs. Bowser, hope you will take this
lesson to heart. Carelessness in a wife is
very reprehensible trait.''
''You are just as careless ss l amp she
protested.
"No, ma'am! No, ma'am. 1 never mis-
lay anything, forget anything Or lose any
thing! Very few husbands d.. will 60
around the world with pin in my vest
and bring the same one back with me. If
you go out on the street today you had bet
ter have policeman 60 with you. If not
you'll lose your purse or be robbed of your
cloak"
When Mr.. Bowser came up to luncheon
he entered the house with tmle on bis
face and the doormat in his hand, and
said:
II found boy walking off with this
mat! Has any one taken the range out of
the basement? It's wonder to me they
haven't come in after the carpets!'
'That's mat the girl put out in the bar
rel to be carted away" she explained.
"Oh! 1t is! More reckless extravaganza,
see! Mrs. Bowser, l want to sit down
with you some day and have long talk.
think you mean we'll, but you are def
cient in Judgment, and your knowledge of
the world is very, very limited"
''Do you know everything?" she sarcas-
tically queried.
''Mrs. Bowser," he replied, as he folded
his hands under bis coattails and assumed
bis fayorite attitude, ''there are probably
one or two things I don't know! I don't
claim to know it all, and don't say you
know nothing whatever. The husband
who does not, however, know forty times
IS much as his wife would be considered
stick of man. Did you 60 out this morn
ng?"
Fl did,"
''Was your bonnet taken off your head?"
'No, sir!"
"Lucky-yery lucky! You are to be con.
graduated. don't'-
'Mr. Bowser, where's your watch?" she
Interrupted.
''My watch, Mrs. Bowser- my watch is
great Scott"
He dropped his head to find the chain,
)ut it was not there. He felt for the
watch, but it was gone.
"Did you loave it at the jeweler's?" she
ssked, as te stood with open mouth and
stared at her.
"Jeweler's! No! Ips gonel I've lost it
Eve been robbed!' he shouted, as he danced
lround.
SIT can't be. Feel your pockets"
'Pockets! Pockets! Do you 'spose
larry my watch in my coattail pocket |
ell you I've been robbed!'
''Well, don't take on so. Your wallet is
'afe, isn't it?"
"G-gone!' he gasped, as he put his hand
1p-"watch and wallet both gonev'
"You must have been robbed in some
,rowd," she suggested
sRobbed! Crowd! Robbed! Of course
I've been robbedp'he shouted as he prarced
lbcut. sect that Internal cat off that
OUNCE and lemme lay down, for Pam so
weak I can't stand up! Where is that cam
ohor?''
She ran for the bottle as he fopped down,
Ind for the next three minutes he had his
1ose in the opening.
"You ought to go to the police at once,''
she finally said.
"G-gone! G-gonev' be gasped.
"But how could you have been robbed?'
"I dunno! Hold the bottle little high
,r!"
"You are so careful, you know"
eyes"
"You never mislay anything or forget
anything"
"Aud never lose anything. and have SO
much worldly wisdom"
"Oh! my head!"
81 can't make it out. l am so careless
that might lose shoestring in moving
here from Detroit, but vou"-
"Don't talk to mel Over 5000 gone!'
ga woman tried to steal my reticule in
Buffalo and 1 had her arrested, but it
seems that you''-
"Gone! Gone!' he groaned.
Haven't you no idea of when it was
taken?" she persisted.
sNor'
"Well, I am sorry. but this will be a
great lesson to you. You will be more"--
Mrs. Bowserp' he interrupted, as he
suddenly sat up, Il see through it all now.
It's as plain as daylight!'
''What do you mean?'
81 thought it necessary this morning to
give you little advice. l felt it to bc my
duty as husband. This is your way of
getting evenr'
ewing Mr.. Bowserr'
Don't why Mr.. Bowser mt! It's as
plain as that chair over therev'
"How could l rob you or tell any one
else TOP" she demanded
"Never you mind! see it all! It's all
right, Mrs Bowser-all right! Just let go
this clmphor bottle and take seat in the
other room! A husband will bear great
deal from the woman he loves, but when
crowded too far he turns at bay. I have
turned. As soon as feel a little bit better
we will come to an understanding, and you
can probably take the noon train for your
mnthar's in Datroit RohhadI PIundaradi