davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Idiots have been known whose mem,
DRY fornemes and words we're 40 ratan.
tive that they could repeat sermon
verbatim and indicate whesc the
preacher blew his nose aud couehed
while delivering it Cardinal Messo-
fanti. the linguist. who is said to have
known hundred languages, declared
that he never forgot word he once
learned. To friend, who had CON.
graduated Leyden on his remarkable
memory, he replied that he had often
found 1t OF great Inconvenience. On.
the friend expressing surprise, he en-,
planned that he had oftea wished to re-.
coll particular expression in some.
thing he had read, but could not do il
until he had repeated the whole pas
sage from the beginning to the express
sion he desired to recall An English
clergyman mentions man who could
remember the day ofthe burial of every
person who had died in tho parish,
during thirty-ave years, and could also
repeat the name and age of each de.
ceased person. and tho name OF the
monrners at his funeral; but SO weak
vas heintellectually that he could NOT
be trusted to feed himself. DR..
Moffatt, he distinguished African mis-
slonary, and father-in-law to DIR. Lily.
lngstone, once preached long sermon
to crowd of negroes. Shortly after he
had finished, he ssw number of ne.
groes gather about simple-mindei
young savage. he'wen. to them, and
discovered that the savage was preach.
ing his sermon over again. Not only
was he producing the precise words,
but initiating the manner and gestures
Of the white preacher.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
eyes, pEAR.n


Mamma" said the six-yea old Young
ster in a loud whisper SO that every one
in the room could hear him, .tlook at
the man."
Eyes, dear" answered the mother,
who was reading.
The train dashed around curve and
sent the boys feet into one corner and
his head against his mother.
eyes, DEAR" she answered gently, still
reading.
The train shot into tunnel, plunged
through the darkness and drove out into
the sunlight.
eyes, DEAR" she said, turning a page.
Giles got red whiskers, /" said the loud
whisper.
eyes, dear"
"They're awful red"
Eyes, DEAR" and people began to re-
alize that the mother was not listening to
what her darling said. Those who we're
fathers and mothers smiled in anticipa-
ton. The administered man studied
his paper carefully.
"They're fiery red"
''Yes, DEAR" sweetly.
"Theyrc redder N my fathers"
eyes, dear" Another page was
turned.
els he any relation to my father2"
ayes, dear"
r'tIs he any relation to me2n
eyes, dear"
t'They're awful red."
eyes, DEAR" quietly.
s'Will have red whiskers like that
when Pm man2"
"Yes, dear"
sBut don't want 'em,n whfmpering.
"There, dear, don't talk SO much.
mamma is reading"
"Do you like 'em so red7"
eyes, DEAR" sootRingly.
81 don't. Maybe he paints 'em. Does
he paint emG''
eyes, dear"
mamma, look at him. He's mad"
eyes, DEAR
"His face is redder N his whi.kers.'
eyes, dear"
"He's going out of the car.
eyes, DEAR
mamma, how often does he have to
paint emit"
..Paint what, dearap asked mamma,
dropping the book in her lap and look
ing at the child.
"His whiskcrs. You said he painted
Penn, and he got mad and went away
But mammals face looked as if it we're
painted scarlet, aud she read steadily for.
one hour without answering single
question. --Ne,o York Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
AN uNaRATnFUL PET.

"I gave you that parrot as birthday
present, did Inot, sMatildaf" he asked.
Eyes, but:surely, Albert, you are not
going to speak of your gifts as if
zs'It was Young aud speechleas ct the
time.
Yes, with increasing wonder, .sand
i it has snever been out of this parlor.'
There are no other young ladies in
tbs house2"
No, there are not. y
Then why, why when kissed your
picture in yonder album, while waiting
for you, did that wretched bird assume
your voice and say, Don't do that,
Charlie, please don't2' W Philadelphia
Times.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
The Largest Tree In the World.

The largest tree in the world has just
been discovered in Fresno Counto, Cal.
Frank Loomis. an old mountaineer, and
party returned recently to Sanger from q
bear hunting expedition in the Sierras.
They wounded bear, aud in pursuing
it ran across big tree in the most rugged
portion of the mouutains. about two
miles north of Kentucky Meadows. This
monarch of the forest was circumscribed
by radius of mile or more of almost
impenetrable underbrush. SO that the
hunters were compelled to use bothknife
aud ax to reach the centre. 1t is GER
tain that no man has ever traversed the
same ground. The tree was measured
about four feet from the ground and a
rope, 123 feat inches long was neces-
sary to span its circumference. - 0Hieago
Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
stAro they b;tinr 'ncv9',.

q, <AAS toSJ p-tiuS nCWt - 8,
at the next corner o third stopped him
and asked: S
"say, what win you take foT, ton Of
them2''
A fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh had
their say, and the eighth bore down upon
him with:
al stsli you, old fellow. you may laugh
at the idea Of splitting on your bait, but
it brings luck, and / can prove il. n -
Speaking to mei'' queried the man
with the pole. y
Certainly
"What do you take me for2''
why, are you going a-fshingan
Tho said so2''
"Hayen't you got fish polei"
Suppose have. If saw you carry.
ing bar of soap homo would I argue
that you were going to do the family
washing3n
"But aren't you going a.fishing9'
No, sir. This pole is to punch the
sparrows' nests out of the caves of my
house. Mighty funny how many people
there are in the world who are interested
in other folks business"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
A LOT OF MEALru.

He was trying to read the paper and
she was seeking to get him interested in
hp@ well the man next door treated his
srsse il the matter of new hats.
tafAria," he asked finally, "did you
ever hear Of the story of the Diamonds
and Pearls2,"
No, what is it2n
lss It's on old fairy tale of woman who
every timesho opened her mouth dia-
monds and pearls fell from it.
uWell2n
Well, I was only thinking if that was
the fashion still what lot of precious
stones there would be in this house. ~
sl'ailaolelphia> Times.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
oKARGEs ACCORDING TO DIAGNOSIS.

Pilltaker- Twenty dollars Too much,
doctor, altogether too much. Why it
Pwas ouly q headache
1 DR., Pillgiver-"I know it, but 1 di-
$agnosed the case as incipient brain fever.
My bills are made according to my own
Judgment. Us ytings.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
A MATTER-oF-FAcr BOY.

Z Teacher of Defamation Ito scholar)-
~ Now, repeat after me: Sink OF, swim,
live or die, survive or perish ~
Scholar (interrupting) Rats Al
zNnker doesn't swim, a liver doesn't die
and survivor doesn't perish. TAKE
something that's got some sense to it,
Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

LEATHER VERY POPULAR.

81 note leather is being applied to in
Vulnerable things in fancy goods and
small wares, said Mrs. Billsdoo to Mrs.
Bullion.
my pepper uses it great deal" I'M
solicited said Bobby Bullion.
~ didn't think he was in that bust
ness, Bobby"
"oa, he amt; he is broker. But
he uses leather-a good deal of leather
on my back. America Stationer.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
A Weuaerfui PAPER.

When you were ,eading tho large Prospeo,u,
OF Tns MOUTHS CohP4sioS, published last
what wealth OF talent was engaged ia pro.
dSeing this remarEabie peparf Its success Is
because 1t ls tho best OF ita kind. Now IL tho
time TO send your subscription. sl.I5 nent at
once Will SECURE YOU tho rest Of this year free,
including oil tho Holiday Sumbers, TuR
XOuTAs CoMrANIoN. Dostcn.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
LITTLE WILLIE is A puILosopHEn.

"Now, my dear children said the
teacher kindly, ~ have tried to tell you
that nature has intended NIL things for
some use with kind purpose to aid us.
Your hands have certain uses; your
fingers, your legs, your feet But can
any of you tell me what your toes were
intended fort"
There was painful silence for mo-
ment until Willie Fauntleroys little
voice piped up, III guess, miss, they're
to stub when you don't want to go to
school. - Chicago Times.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
A L1BERAI PATRON OF Anr.

"Four tintypes for twenty-five cents
Gosh That's cheap"
yellow-haired man with red headed
wife and six towheaded children stood in
front of one-story Photographic studio
on the North Side and stared at sign
in the window.
GTbat's cheap" he repeated. "We'll
! go in here, Liz. This is fireplace we've
been a-lookin' for"
The procession moved inside the tenn.
pie of art.
tCan you put the whole hilin' of us
onto tintypea" he inquired of the pho
tographer.
"Yes.n
"Then go ahead. I'll take four OF
| 'em."
The photographer grouped the entire
aggregation in front of classic Grecian
background, turned the camera in that
direction, and the pictures soon were
ready.
"Do they suit you2n he inquired,
bringing them to the light for inspec-
ton.
They're bang up. Amt they, Liz2n
Liz expressed the opinion that the
portraits were perfect.
"You understand, of course" said the
proprietor of the studio, ..that twenty.
five cents for four tintypes means twenty.
five cents for each one of your
"Goshl don't understand any such
thing. That amt what your sign says
out there"
''The sign on q carette says: 'Flve
cents fare, but you can't ride on one
with your whole family for five cents,
can your
t'That,s different. Them pictures is
Just The same size as if there was only one
of us, Gin eessaeyssa
"Two dollars, please"
''It's Famed swlndle.n
"Two dollarsl"
81 won't pay, by gum"
"I'll hang them out and put sign on
them: Not paid for.'n /
"Do it'll" reared the yellow haired
pilgrim, marshaliug the procession in
single file and marching outside at the
head of it. tDo it!' he reiterated,
shaking his fist at the artist as the cara.
van moved on its way down the street.
"There amt n doggone soul that knows
US that'll ever see it. We're from Miz-
zoury. p Chicago Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
sMEEr 0oNEIpENcE.

Mira. Young Pm afraid my husband
Is killing himself with overwork.
Mrs. Odds-uHow is that2n
Mrs: Young Why, when we were
first married he always got home, from
the office at five, and now he's often kept
until temp -s~--
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

will forfeit tho above amount, II fan
prove that Elorsplexlon liz tho best medicine
existencc for Dyspepsia, Indigestion or Bllloy
ness. II aZ7rtain cure, and Affords INN
paint ,'Nsssr LIZ and o hlySr az
Floraplexion builds mp mt % system n
cures where other. remedies fan. .ksh 20,
druggist for 1t and get we'll. Valuable bo
"Thing Worth Knowing also, sample bot
sent FREQ; NIL charges prepaid. Address Fran
lin Hart, 81 Warren street. Now York.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
4 STORY ABOUT 4 r1sn POLE.

IA citizen with fishing pole over his
shoulder was going up State street yes.
Sterday, says the Bangor Ne,os, when a
stranger called out:
HIVE any lucka"
) Fifty feet further on o second mar In
tapifed:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Guaranteed Ave year eight por cent. First
payable every Six months; principal and inter-
est collected when due and relnlttcd without
expense to lender. For sao by j. IL. Bauerlein
d 20, Kansas CITY, Mo. Mriio for particulars
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Peter the Great, Gar of Russia, organized
an army which he entered as private, rising
through every grade, This he did to inspire
the young Russians to earn rank by service.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

NERVE REsToRER. No Fits after first days
use. Marvellous cures Treatise and So trial
bottle froe. DR.. Kline 03l Arch st.. Phila., Pp.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
The founder of the Friends, George Fox
was born 1924, died 1Goi.

Money invested in choioo one hundred dol.
inr InitdinB lots In suburbs OF Kansas City will
pay from hye hundred TO one thousand pcr
cent. the next few years under our plan. s&s
oash ana ~ per month without interest con-
trois ucairRhlo lot. Particulars on application.
y, ID. bAucrieln 81 Co. kAnSas City, Nc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Millions Of women use Dobbins's ElectI
Soap daily, and say IL Is tho best and cheapej
II they are right, Nau ought TO use Il. Ii wroil
one t'1dl only Will show you. Buy bar OF sol
grocer aud Try II next Monday.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

The present French Republic was prc.
Claimed by Gambetta Sept 4, 1870, following
ne Franco, Prassian war and the surrender
TO the Germans OF Louis Napoleon. Gen.
Irochu was the first President.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

less In effect, quick and positive In action.
Sent prepaid on. receipt OF 81 per bottle.
Adeler d. Co..622 Wyandotte st. Kansas City Mo
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
.,ElPARrE.E
II called because

He (slightly rude -'.I called because
thought you were out
She tsweetly) -tsWell, do you know,
] thought was out too. The maid must
have thought you were some one else. ~
BaSay.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
OrNIt ENITOX@,

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and resultawhen
Syrup Of Figsis taken; it ispleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gentlyyet promptly on the Kidneys.
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys,
tenn eiectually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs il the
only remedy Of It's kind ever pro-
duceds pleasing to the taste and ac.
ceptab!o to the stomach, prompt in
Its action and truly benefcialin its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
Its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made Il
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs ia for sale in 300
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
giss. Any reliable druggist who
may not hsvoit on hand will pro
cure 1t promptly for any one who
Wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute. 8s
CALIFORNIA re SYRUP co.
,a,,,oyu, sag FRANCISCO. ohi. rs
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

!. Timber, Mineral, farm Lands and Ranches
in Missouri, Kansas, Texas and ArkanBlls,
bought aud sold. Tyler q Co., Khnsaa City, Mo.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
THE LIMIT.

Impassioned Lovcr--.Tell me, my
angel, what to do to prove my love. Oh,
that | might, like some knight of old,
battle foryou, suffer for you, die for
you"
Sweet Girl-"I wish you would give
uprsmoking."
Impassioncd Lover-"oh, come now,
That's asking too much. n-Ne,o York
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
a POSER Fon THE JUper.

Judge You are accused OF entering
this mans store and stealing package
of photographs
Prisoner Judge, is there any law
against taking Photographic" American
Stationer.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Any person sendiny us their nama and az
dress Will receive information that will Leaf
% fortune. Benz. Lewis 81 Co.,, Seourit,
Building, Kansas City, Mo-
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
."I wish you would give
THE rAxpAYER's rRIENp.

Anarchist-'.I tell you, my friend,
things arc going to come to focus in
pSis country before very long. The tax
lsSyers are not going to stand the OPP
preston long"
Listener-"Do you pay any taxes2"
Anarchist--"Of course don't and 1
never will. And that shows that my
interest in the taxpayers is purely
unselfshs doesn't it2"-- Terra Haute Ep-
press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
ono rhauaand noIIar..

The State Of Iowa took its name from
Iowa tribe OF Indians.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Oklahoma 0uide Book and Map sent any whero
on receipt OF cts. Tyler & Co.. kansas City, no.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Jim-.I dunno, Fred, but pears to
sss1e he looks bout as much like the out
side as he does like the inside. "-Afun-
sey'a Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

II afflicted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac Thomp-
sons Eye-water. Druggists sell at 25a per bottle.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

The French authorities are very igor.
ously suppressing gambling.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06
BAnY's LOOKS.

Fond Fsther-"Which side of the
house doyou think the baby looks like,
Jim q, :
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06


woRLD's DIspENsARY MEDICAL AssocIA-
TON. Buffalo. N. Y:
GcntIcmen.-A remarkable case has occurred
IN our territory. j. N. Berry, man nbout
thirty years of age, was going down rapidly.
He tried physician after physician, patent
medicines, home receipts-in fact, everything.
no better. We all thought lie was dying with
were left for him.
He commenced Golden Medical Discov
cry" and at the same time commenced to
mend j HE has used about two dozen bottles,
color and strength, and is able to do light
work: 1t Is Just such q case ns we should
have listened to rather euspiciously, but when
we SEQ 1t We must believe It,
It has trebled our sales OF Golden Medical
JOHN HACKETT SON,
Druggists Roanoke, Ind.
In all bronchial, throat and lung
affections, lingering coughs, splitting
of blood, weak lungs and kindred
ailments, the "Discovery" effects
the most marvellous cures.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

Dreams and all Treur6ng Soneatns &C.
ns BIT WILL Give BELIEF IN Twenty MiMuTEs
s For Sick Headache, Weak Stomach, Impaired :
5 Digestion, Constipation Disordered Liver etc.
Ss11 bringing buck tho
NV thGs
ALLEN Co. SIS and r sSf Canal s.r ST. SS sn ys
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-02-06

etsIAAfTCn Relisble Agents 10 sIl orr cho,c.
WAN & Nursery Stock. Liberal conlm usy,e
$3.50 or salary paid. Write us for r. m.
MAY hrathers. Nnrsefymtn, Rochester, NJ Z.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-06-27

TO sole with the most varied and start
ling of painted designs. A Mangbattu
of especially fastidious tastes shows
his his d Ssdsl most remarkably "A his
with astounding care and the great
est variety" says DIR. Junker, they
build upon their heads these wonder
full structures most tedious and
elaborate bits OF work. TO which. how
ever, the vain young men OF the better
classes patiently submit. Everything
hat women OF civilized countries have
accomplished in this particular, is far be-
hind the marvellous forms of those
hair phenomena"
The head band, and accompaniment
of the style OF elaborate headdreSs con
sists of thin black cords wound tightly
around the forehead from the base of
the nose 10 IA line three or four inches
above, and made fast TO the back of the
head. The head bands, as well rs the
hairdress OF a Mangbattu remains un-
disturbed usually for weeks in sue
ceSsion.
The bands are put ON the heads OF
unweaned children, and have "A per-
ceptible effect ON the development OF
the skull. DIR. Junker saw many
Mangbattu children whose heads had
thus been rendered peaked 10 the ex-
tent Of extreme deformity.
Experience shows. however" says
DIR. Junker, that such artificial mall
formations OF the skull do not affect
the mental faculties SO long as the top
of the skull, and with IL the brain, Is
allowed To develop unbranded in some
one direction. The Mangbattu tribes
prove the truth OF this assertion, for
they stand without doubt on a much
higher plane of life than many other
native peoples which do not use the
head bands"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-06-27

A heavy frost in the vicinity of Gales
burg has injured the tender vegetables
and fruit.
Small pearl buttons nre still used TO
ornament the first short bingham
dresses.
On "A freight train near Brownstown
three tramps attacked n fourth, beat
him until he was unconscious. robbed
him of n gold watch. and threw him off
when the train was moving at the rate
of thirty miles an hour. He was
picked up alive and gave his name as
William Baury. The three tramps
were arrested and are now In Jail.
The Rev. DIR. Phillip Schaff OF New
York, Chairman of the Committee OF
the Revision Of the New Testament,
preached the baccalaureate sermon To
the graduating class Of the Illinois In
stitution for the Education Of the Deaf
and Dumb. The was listened
20 by n large and appreciativc audi
ence. To the pupils the sermon was
given in sign language by an in
terprcter. The Rev. w. IL. Milburn,
chaplin.ofthe House of Representatives.
delivered the b~accalaureate sermon 90
the graduating class of Illinois Col
lege.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1891-06-27
Figs and Thlstles.

The devil can't understand the
stingy man, but he likes his ways,
When n manis mad the devil can
makehim believe anything,
Don't say 'Thy Kingdom come
with both hands in your pockets.
When you want "A hard master
work for a beggar who has just be-
come rich.
When you want TO see the Dead Sea
in human form find a Christian who
never gives.
God does not want n dollar from
any man or woman who is not willing
TO be pure in heart.
IL is astonishing how much you can
find out about human nature by
charging 10 cents admission.
No revival ever amounts 20 much
where the preaching is not clear-cut
against sim of every kind.
Whenever aman concludes that he
has got enough religion il is a sure
sign that he hasn't got any.
The man who has a kind word for
everybody does more good than a
surly one could do with money.
A good way 20 find out what kind
OF religion n man has is to notice
what ne does with his money.
There wouldn't be 80 many tired
people in the world il men would stop
climbing hills before they get TO them.
Ifsome men were as tender in heart
as they are in the pocket what won
derful things they would do for the
Lord.
The man who has the courage 10
stand up and face q lie when il Is arm.
ed TO the teeth Is n man .hat angels
nevpr tireof looking at.