New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-07-20
CHANCES HERE AND THERE.

II you wish to appreciate the advantage OF having
the streets all torn up downtown should approach
your expressman of these days. The oondescend-
ing way in which he viii patronize you VIII make you
feel humber than Job In his direst 0fiieuon. IL you
wish your baggage taken &c any ferry below Desbros
sesst. your man will smile upon you as II you were
some misguided, harmless lunatc just escaped from
an asylum. Then he will put you oil by saying that
bis route does not include the ferry you menoh' Du'
Mr. Jones, on the next Will doubGCsS DO ee-
| Lighted to take Your trunks down. You go To Mt
Jones, and he realizes after moments conversation
that you have come from Mr.. Smith, so he tries 10
bluff you of by talking about double rates and get
| ting into line with his wagon and the possibility Oh
your having TO wait week two for your trunks 70
reach their destination Finally he succeeds so thor
Oughly in dLscouragng you that you on the point
of giving up all thought Of trip TO the country ano
you have about made up your mind to return home ana
suffer from the heat rather than chase around after
any more expressmen, when he suggests perhaps one
of the great express companies might be Induced to
Of these Offices how fast your henri beats when you
counter What you Wsut and he replies awhy, yes
certainly, but the expense viii be Never MIND
the expense" 10y this time expense Will Dc 10 con
sderadOn) you just arrange to have my trunks taken
| to such and such place, and win be your friend
ioreyeTs and while he IS making out Din 1of Sou' you
| think h Is the klndeSt man you ever saw.
There was Maine boatswain, who had sailed
with one smpneSJer lot seventeen years Al
that time the captain had not ROst vessel
and had made money fast as man-before-the-
mast can climb a ships rigging. But in the eigh
teenth year OF his boatswan's devotion. his cap
tain on voyage from San Francisco to Liverpool,
laden with wheat lost his vessel -Four months later
captain and boatswaln landed in Bath, Ne. Now
smith, tho bOatswain, had always bOasted that his
captain could sail the rottenest ship a1Oat and not
lose her When he returned to Bath, therefore he
I. Wn1I ros+
didn't your smith, who was half-seas over, drew
himself up. Lose her!" he said, "why that ship
sank fifteen days before We quit sailing her. We'd
have sailed her right into Bath. but the wheat was
soaked with water and the captain says he says TO
the devil with the underwriters. I'm sailing this ship
to make money Which, Of course, was a monstrous
lie.
This same smith, by the way had n vice which
killed him His captain had long wanted to make him
an officer for a better sailor never walked the deck
Of ship but smith would drink whskey by the gallon
His ship was I'm san Francisco harbor summer, pre-
pared to make a fine voyage for she always beat
everything around the Horn. Smith was ashore, and
he did not report when the hour for sailing arrived
Clipper ships as a rule wait for no man-only the tide
but this ship waited. smith did not come They
found him that night dead in the streets OF san Fran
cisco The poor devil had had his throat cut FOR the
fw dollars in his pocket. In his hand was sheath
knife the gift OF his captain SON.
Now one more story about gooo Ola sup enu
her good old master. lie was the same Smiths cap
tain. He sailed into the port OF NewOrleans one
morning at daylight. Two bOatlOads Of men came
rowing out and boarded the ship. In the name OF
the Confederate States Of America, etc. they said
The captain came bounding up from his cabin IN ms
nightshlrt "WhO Is the dock Of my shpi ne
roared When he learned who were the men who
wore the gray uniforms he rOared like bull and
Threatened to throw the Confederate states Of America
overheard He ran back aud ordered the stars and
Stripes t. be run up. As the old flag went up they
threatened burn his snip. - Burn my SHIP = ne
beloved. Burn my ship Burn 1t aud Will blow
YOUR id New Orleans out Of the water" And
thcv burned his ship. He is dead now.