davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
woopPEckER.s JUSTICE.

A RiEamous BIRD Dispatches sis Rersass
Mate.
"A year ago last spring" writes . cor
respondent, "a pair Of red-headed
woodpeckers determined 70 peek hole
In the boarding under tbs caves Of
house, az woodpeckers oftsn do The
owner Of the house. not liking snch
mutilation, after repeated efforts suc-
ceeded In driving them away. and they
went 10 wrk at once and dug q hole In
the nearest tree.
when the birds home wa Gniahed
and housekeeping had beguh. the farm
er's boys captured the female aa she sat
In the nest and kept her Ia eage. bop
ing In that way 70 catch the male also.
which had flown away when his mate
was seized
1.-TWO days later he returned with an
other wife. The boys relented as tho
sight They gave Mra- Woodpscksr
No. her liberty and awaited resnlta
ITO their surprise the male wood
pecker. after . relentless pursuit a
about SIX hours killed her Then hs
destroyed the one egg which ahe hnd
laid. and continued housekeeping with
wife No. Q a IL nothing had happened
The tragical story leads our eorre'
spondent 70 ask several questions
Hare birds language " which thsJ
communicate one with another IL %
did the woodpecier give his wife time
10 explain her absence before rendering
Judgment and proceeding 80 exscnsaon'
was not Mr. WoodPeeksF - gTra'
disadvantage for want Of vocabulary
with which 70 describe tbs anheArd o
experience Of captivity
il IL possible that she wa punsshs<
for criminal eareleAsnesa In pcrralttane
herself 10 Ire captured7-Youth's Com
4
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
HE GOT THE CANE.
When He Entered the Lists the Other
Retired in Disorder.

When He Entered the Lists the Others
Retired in Disorder.
The alderman from Cleveland, natur-
ally desiring to take advantage OF the
occasion, was showing the boys gold
watch which his appreciative constit-
uents had presented him for heavy
work done in the interest of his ward
1t was still passing around when man
in the corner, with a satchel between
his feet, handed out gold-headed cane
with the remark:
Boys, / might as well show off too
This wasn't presented to me, but got
it on a fair, square vote of a whole town
full of people"
1t was heavy stick with massive
gold head, and on the latter was an in
scription to the effect that the cane had
been presented to the handsomest man
in a certain town in Kansas. One of the
crowd looked at the man and the cane
and then blurted out:
Great shakes! but you don't claim
that this was voted to you as the hand
soonest man?"
81 do sir" was the quick reply.
But you don't come within forty
miles of even being common good look
ing"
That's also true, sir"
'oThen how on earth did you get it?'
Twas the only man in town who hac
ever put up his dukes in scrap, sir, anc
| when I entered the race for the cane
the forty other fellows tumbled all over
each other in their hurry TO withdraw
The purfesh is always respected where
n respects itself."-N. Y. Sun.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL
God never makes law that he does
not enforce

God never makes law that he does
not enforce.
-Four of the six women at the uni
versity of Leipsic are Americans
God finds it hard to help the man
who hasn't fully made up his mind to
say no to the devil.-Ram's Horn
1t seems that the Primitive Metho-
dist Theological Institute in England
has been compelled to close temporar-
lily on account of La grippe
When you want to see Gods power,
look for it in the mountains When
you want to see His spirit, look for il
in Christian men-Ram's Horn.
One of the vestry of St George
Episcopal church. New York, has, it is
said, authorized Rector Rainsford to
say he will give $500, 600 toward an en-
dowment fund of $500, 900 for carrying
on the church work.
"A. Fl. McGuffey. the author of the
famous McGuffey's School Reader, Is
still alive and is a well-known lawyer
of Cincinnati. He is a modest and re-
firing gentleman of the old school.
courtly in his manners and well in
formed on all literary matters.
There are times when duty Is COM
mon-place: there are none at hand to
applaud us; we feel that our work is I'M
appreciated; but true success requires
that 'Gst here where duty becomes most
difficult there should be patient con-
tinuance. United PRESBYTERIAN.
"A Turkish official says that the
Levantine Turks have for many years
been becoming more and more fanati-
cal: AT the end of the Crimean war
ten per cent. of the Turks were relig-
ious fanatics; at the death of Abdul
Aziz, fifty per cent; to-day there are
ninety per cent"
Il love and honor the Old Tesla
ment. 1t is book for the nineteenth
century as much as IL was for the cen.
turtles before Christ, and like Paul feel
it SIS profitable for doctrine, for re-
proof, for correction, for instruction In
righteousness, that the man of God
may be thoroughly furnished unto all
| good works. u. II. Vincent
The commencement exercises oi
Cornell university. at Ithaca. were
closed recently. Degrees were con
ferred on two hundred and fifty-five
students as follows: Ninety-eight In
arts, philosophy. letters and science
eleven in agriculture; twenty-four in
civil engineering; twenty-four in me
ohanical engineering; twenty-eight Ii
electrical engineering. and forty-four In
law There were also twenty-six nd
vanced degrees.
The announcement of the courses o.
instruction provided by the faculty O
arts and sciences at Harvard for mex
year has made it's appearance. Tbs
most important addition to the old lis
of courses is the establishment of Al
entirely new department. that of com
parative literature. Prof Marsh, wh'
will take charge of two courses provid
ed in tins department. is a recent grad
uate of the college, who has just re
ceived his appointment as assistant pro
fessor. The subjects are the history o
classical learning in Europe from tn
fifth to the fifteenth century, and com
parative European literature In tn
middle ages
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
BETTY JONES, Sec,

The First Baptist church Of n. Law
renee, will have a basket meeting and
grand rally next Sunday at their new
church. An excellent program has been
arranged for. Services are as follows:
10 q. M, General Praise Meeting,
Mr.. GREEN KEITH.
III q. m, Preaching, Bev. Y. Y. COINS.
Music by choir.
Collection.
12.3O D. m, Sunday School mass meeting,
5. III. JOHNSON.
100 D. M, Forest Dinner, q. Y. JAMES
$50 D. M, Preaching, Rev. +. NJ. CoHRoN
7.3O b. m Gen. Rally, Rev. z. G. Com
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

The gospel meetings Of the Y. W. Q. A..
met Sunday at the End Baptist church On
Warren and Ohio. We have not had
good attendance this summer owing 70 the
hot and rainy weuther, which Is 80 dread
ed by our young ladies upon occasions Of
this kind. The meeting was conducted
By Miss Dora Caly, which was very i'm
pressive. We sincerely hope that our
young girls will be more attentive 70 their
christian duty and come out and see what
we are doing for we earnestly pray for
the work to continue.
Yours in Christ,
BETTY JONES, Sec.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

owing to the fact Of Rev. Jackson's
hasty departure from our midst, the n. M.
@. A. meeting was not held as usual Sun
day. These meetings should not cease.
While Rev. Jackson was an excellent
leader and instructor, we have other gen
tIemen juat as good, both morally and
spiritually to conduct them. They have
been the means OF much good being done
among our young men.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Successful Faster dragging on the
cars)-Yes, sir. for forty days not a
morsel Of food passed my lips
Thin Stranger stepping up)-Ah!
What's your circulation, exclusive OF
dead-head copies?
Faster-What do you mean, sir-r-r?
Stranger-O, don't get riled, my
friend; belong to the craft, myself
Where Is your paper published?
Faster-I do not know what you
mean! publish no paper, sir-r-r! ]
am
Stranger walking away)-Wen, to
think have mistaken q transforming
actor for an edito7l--Jury.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

They had moved in next door 90 each
other on Saturday, The tsvo men hap
nened 70 meet in front Saturday even
ing and the first observed:
"If ron should bear noise He tack
ing down carpets In my house to-mor-
row. please don't make any mistake
II will be the children trottlng around
the house.
Certainly. sir, certainly, " replied the
other. And If you should hear thing
moving and humping and smashing on
my side don't jump % the conclusion
that vve are not rcspectors Of the sab
bath day. IL will b. me playing viii
The babv."-S. 4. World
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

The Beethoven Mandolin club social
was not as well attended as it might have
been, owing TO the fact that it was not as
extensively advertised as it should have,
but those present seemed TO b. well
entertained, aud we certainly appreciate
your patronage. also desire to return our
thanks for the kindness shcwn us BY Mr..
Geo. Gross and wife for their excellent
lawn and services rendered that night.
A MEMBER.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Miss NJ. d. johnson served tea to a
r,mher Of friends Wednesday evening at
her residence on Indiana st., among those
present were Prof. s. e. Watkins and
wife. Of Topeka. An enjoyable time was
had and all left feeling well pleased with
their hostess.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
SuppressInr a Sneeze.

A highly esteemed medical journal
tells us that sneeze may be always
suppressed by pressing the finger hard
upon the upper lip. But, sakes alive,
who wants to suppress sneeze, unless
he happens for the moment to be bur-
glarizing neighbours house or some
thing of that sort? There's all too lit
tie fun in this world now, without try
ing to shut off the innocent enjoyment
of a sneeze. And inasmuch as there is
an ancient tradition and belief that
when one sneezes he casts out devils, IT
would seem to be scheme of the evil
one to suppress sneezing. Good, hon
est people should frown it down De
troit Free Press.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

The ordinance Of baptism was observed
hv tile End Baptist church Sunday, in
which three candidates were Immersed By
Rev. Cohran. The usual noise and com
notion made by the bystanders was not
heard so much on that day but everything
nassed off in a quiet monner.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
where Do they Get the Creame

do you know" said mhk-traln
conductor on one of the principal CHI
cago roads that brings in great many
cars of milk daily, that not one city
milk-dealer supplied from our road ever
buys cream? And yet any one OF them
will sell YOU as much cream as you
want All the cream that Is snlpped
into the city is consigned to and Is used
by confectionaries or wholesale Ice
cream manufacturers. Chicago Times
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

The following named persons are duly
authorized to solicit subscribers for The
HISTORIC TIMEs:s Mesdames i. Craig, T..
Johnson, Misses Mamie Johnson, Eva
Jones and Carrie Langston. Any favor
the public may show to these ladies will
be acknowledged by this paper.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

The Sunday School picnic given by the
a. lanes A. NJ. E. church was q grand
social and financial success Much credit
Il dne Rev. and Mrs B. G. Craig for their
uptiring efforts at church work.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

A pleasant surprise was given Mr.. L.
Gray, OF Burlington, Kan, at Mrs. Eastsr
Gray's. by his many friends that he has
ACQUIRED during his short stay in the city.
Music was furnished by the Mandolin
club which added greatly to the evenings
entertainment. Excellent refreshments
were served and all present we're well
entertained.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
Eauivocal Sentiments.

There is an old story about the mer-
chant of Milwaukee, who, during the
war of the rebellion, being an excel
lent hand at sketching, drew most adj
mirablv on the wall of his store a
nepro's head, and underneath it wrote,
in a manner worthy of the Delphic
oracle, 'Dis Union foreber." Whether
the sentence meant loyalty to the
Union or not was the puzzling ques-
ton which the gentleman himself never
answered always replying to inquir-
les, Read it for yourselves, gentle
men" Thus it came to be saying in
town that mo one knows how dat dar-
kew stood on the war question" An
other similar story of more recent orr
gin is about a question which is puzz-
ling the young ladies who attend
Western female college. 1t seems
that one of them discovered that some
person had written on the outer wall
of the college: Young women should
set good examples for young men 'oItI
follow them. The question now per-
picking the heads of several of the
Young ladies of the college is whether
the writer meant what was written in
a moral or in an ironical sense. Boston
Gazette.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

American Taxpayer travelling In
Fpvptl-What earthly use were ali
these INDUSTRIOUS pyramids? Why did the
Egyptian governments build them?
That's what can't understand
American Statesman latter rehecuon}
-Mebby there wor divvy IN 'em-S
Y Weekly
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
An Ethical Point.

La Fiancee-I am sorry to hear papa
is specializing so heavily.
lie Fiance-By jopc 1t Is almost
criminal for a man to speculate with
money that ought to ID saved for his
mon-in-Iaw-Life-
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Mr. Ford-I'm getting To b1 quite
diplomat Mr. Hatch was here this
morning, and when she wens away ahs
thought I had told her everything
knew: but only told her tzat whns !
wanted 10
Mr.. Ford-WeiI. that came - he
came thing, didn't it7--Jury.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

"A speedy way of forwarding the
mails was some years ago proposed by
an English engineer, and its novelty
caused wide discussion of its practical
bility. The letters were to be
inclosed in durable iron shell,
which was to be fired at a
bank of earth six miles distant There
it was to be similarly projected on the
second stage of its journey; and so on
until it reached its destination by
this plan. the inventor thought, the
mails could be dispatched from New
York to Philadelphia in fifteen minutes
or from New York 10 Chicago in two
hours and q half
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Tha Western Star Chapter held a
,own party On the excellent park Of Mr..
Z johnson Wednesday eve and all pres
~ rcnorted an excellent time.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Raw. E. NJ. Cohran i dressed up in
...;Ies. they say it is a bouncing boy.
The mother is doing we'll.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

A surprising discovery has lately
been made by a relative Of the man
who observed that Providence Was kind
enough TO cause the large rivers 20 run
by the big cities The new discovery
Is that almost invariably the big adver-
tisements are run BY large and success
fsl business houses Toledo Blade.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
CITY NEWS.
p,,hscribe tor the HISTORIC TINES.

c,hseribe for the Historic TIMES, only
Il. 90 per year
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

Invitations are out tor banquet to be
.,,or by the Masonic Lodge, Friday, July
q e. 1901. at their hall over Honse's store.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
Pleading HIs WIFE.

Jinks-why do you offer such a
large reward for the return Of that con-
temptible pug dog?
Winks-To please my wife
Jinks-But such a reward viii be
sure 10 bring him back
mo. il won't He's dead N Z.
Weekly
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

-MMy-'+Oh, ! never waa - mortified
Ia my iifes While Count sphAgstu wAs
playing It the piano. that horTid Imp of
D brother Of mine took 8 rra smoking
cap and passed IL arCund AMONG uAs
Ruesisfa nalle-'sHow drcsafaii Hhas
did the count dor May-'Oh. be waA
% delightful about II lie took Tia
eap. laughed and sid Oh. goa
nonk. n. San
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
He Got 1t.

Judge.-Why did you steal this mans
gold watch?
Hardened Prisoner.-I wanted to have
a good time.
Judge. shall. Three yea-s- Call
the next case!-Chicago Tribunr
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
TIE RASHFUL MAN.
He Renders Himself and Those About
Him Very Uncomfortable.


He Renders Himself and Those About
Him Very Uncomfortable.
Everybody laughs at bashful man.
Nobody seems to realize that bashfu1-
ness is a misfortune. and no more to be
criticised than bald head, or bad
cough, or a squint eye. A man can not
help being bashful Nothing will cure
him of it but time, and the constant
friction of society, and in some cases
nothing will effect a radical cure
bashful man is forever in the way
of somebody. He can not walk the
street without running against every
fifth person he meets He will be so
anxious to get out of the way that he
will dodge the same way the other man
is lodging, and the result will be col
lision. He will tread on the dress OF
every lady who ventures into his I'M
mediate vicinity; and if he can manage
to cross room without turning up most
of the rugs, and tripping over an otto
man. or a hassock, he may consider
himself fortunate. The tides VIII
leave the chair-backs to cling to his
back; and then, when somebody sup
presses a giggle, he viii feel as hot as
burned potato, and regret that ne was
ever born He has the unhappy faculty
of sitting down on pet kittens, reposing
| in feline placidity on chair cushions, ana
he steps on dogs tails, and 'upsets card
receivers, and drops photograph albums,
and breaks Sevres knickknacks,an and gets
| into a mess generally.
| When some lady friend asks him to
button her glove, or put her shawl
over her shoulders, he will
| flush to the roots of his hair, and seize
the glove in such frantic haste that the
button-hole will pull out, and the but
ton tear off; and the lady, though she
saws it is not of ''the slightest conse-
ouence," will be mad enough to box his
ears soundly. And he will wish the
earth would open and swallow him up
bodily.
At dinner, though man of the very
best intentions, he will invariably spill
the gravy, and deluge his potatoes with
pudding-sauce, and drop his knife in
some lady's lap among her silk fiounces;
and he is liable to pocket his napkin,
and produce it in the drawing-room in
the place of handkerchief.
Nothing so completely upsets him as
to be obliged to introduce somebody to
somebody else. He will call the lady
Miss Captain Brown, and the gentle
man Mr.. Maria Smith, and then discov-
ering his mistake he will rev erse the
order of things, and beg to be allowed
to present Miss Maria Brown to Mr..
Captain Smith.
The bashful man is at an utter loss tc
know what to do with his hands and
feet They are continually in his way
and their proper disposal is perpetual
puzzle to him He will set and com
pare his Two thumbs, and put his two
forefngers together-as if not quite
sure that they are mates; and his fee
are open to the same careful scrutiny
He is laughed at, as we said, by every
body, and he knows it. and is misera
BILE. But after all, in this age of cheek
(pafdon the slang) it is refreshing Il
meet occasionally bashful man.-Kate
Thorn, in N. Y. Weekly.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
Like All His Kind.

A very funny incident is told of how
a local plumber did a piece of work in
an uptown house. The wife of the up
town householder, few days since,
called his attention to the fact that a
great deal of water was dripping from
the bench below the water faucet, say
ing that plumber must lie Immediate
ly called to repair it. The plumber was
procured He said there was certainly
a leak somewhere, but he could not
just put his finger on it However he
unscrewed the faucet peered in and
around the pipe, put on some new
washers and went through great
many mysterious movements. After
the plumber had plumbed to his evil
dent satisfaction and departed the leak
leaked just the same The man of the
house casually lifted the tin pail which
was kept under the faucet A stream
of water poured from the bottom. 1t
was evident that the leak was in the
pail instead of the pipe. Albany Argus.
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
A small Bath schoolboy who hat

A small Bath schoolboy who had
been sent home by his teacher because
his sisters had the measles was noticed
bv that teacher at the next recess play
ing with the other children in the school
ward Johnny, didn't | tell you not to
come to school while your sisters had
the measles Yes, but I'm not going
in school: only came up TO play with
the boys before it begins Bath
Times
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18

-Primus-Isn't she distant relative
of yours by marriage? Secundus -
Yes, am her fance. twice removed -
Harpers' Bazaar
The historic times. [volume] (Lawrence, Kansas) 1891-1891, 1891-07-18
*. Of =

wEsTKRN STAR Lodge No. 1. 81 Law.
renee, Kansas, meets every Monday =
D. m. ID McWrLIIAMs, Chancellor.
J WRIGHT, X Of RAS.
In YouN0, II ID.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-12
A WONDER WORKER.

Mr.: Frank Huffman, a young man of
Burlington, Ohio, states that he has been
under the care OF two prominent physi-
was not able to get around. They pro-
nounced his case to be Consumption and
incurable. He was persuaded TO try DIR.
Kings New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds and at that time was
not able to walk across the street without
resting. He found, before he had used
half of a dolsar bottle. that he was much
better; he continued to use it and is today
enjoying good health. If you have any
Throat, Lung or Chest Trouble try it.
We guarantee satisfaction. Trial bottle
free al Dreiss, Thompson & Co.'s drug
store. 4-22 m
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1891-06-12
Notice to Railroad Contractors.

Sealed bids will be received at the Office
OF the undersigned at San Antonio, Tex,
for the construction to completion of the
unfinished portion Of the San Antonio
Lexington, in Lee county, and Lott, in
Fa lis county, All bids must be on file on
or before the 10Th day of June, 1891. Pay
ment to contractors will be made in Re-
ceiVers Certificates being six per cent
interest and secured by first Hen on the
property; etc; OF said railway. Line must
ninety days from June 20. 1891. =
This done in accordance with an order
OF the Forty fifth Judicial District Court,
made June 9, 1891.
For particulars, plans, specifications,
etc, apply 10 b. +. Yoaklm and j. 5.
MacNamara, Receivers s. A. & A. P.
Railway.
ceivers reserve she right to reject
: all bids. 6-S.I0i