The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-04-02

oano certainly does not understand
you; that is ali.''
My evident distress must have molli-
fled the old gentleman somewhat, for
he slipped away quietly, only stopping
once on the stairs to shake his fist at
the conductor and call him ian old
fool" which I certainly thought he
richly merited; for why in the world
would he not take my fare as was beg
ging him to. and thus have no more
fuss about it2
BY this time everybody in the bus
was intensely interested in the proceed
ings. Old gentlemen laid aside their
morning papers as if they had no fur
Their interest in them, and gave their
glasses an extra rub SO that they might
have better look at me; while fat old
ladies nudged each other and chuckled.
Even the babies stopped crying sudden
~, to see the fun, for every body seemed
to feel that more was coming. AS for
myself, my face kept growing redder
and redder, until knew from the burn
ing sensation that it must be a flaming
scarlet; while instead of wanting to
cry, felt possessed of strong de-
sire to shake mebody-whether the
conductor or j., or both, it did not much
matter.
AS soon as the old gentleman had es-
capped from him, the conductor, nothing
daunted, and taking no notice whatever
of my outstretched hand with its ap-
pealing five-franc piece, started for the
stairs, repeating: II go to search for
the husband of madame"
ALI necks were craned forward as
this time he appeared in view, leading,
in the same captive manner, tall,
lean, lank, individual, apparently half
scared out of his wits All this poor
fellow could say was: Monsieur 10 Con-
ducteur, l assure you have no wife.
assure you, sir" while his knees
knocked together and his legs trem-
bled so violently that he could hardly
stand upright.
His feeble protest did not save him,
however; he also was marched up in
front of me; and the same question
asked in the same loud tones; and when
l made the same answer, disclafming
him as my legal protector, everybody
in the bus Uttered audibly at the re-
ieved expression that came over the
young mans face as he skipped away,
and the puzzled look that settled on the
conductors visage,
If had been at home and such a mis-
take had occurred l certainly would
have left the car at once; but did not
dare to do SO here, as could not find
nv oh I'D n
boldly up those stairs and discovering
j. myself never once entered my head,
though that of course would have been
the most sensible thing to have done.
The conductor after his second fail
ure seemed dazed for moment, and
stood scratching his head; but in a
little while he frightened up, saying:
II cannot stop now, as my honor is at
stake as well as madame's, and find
monsieur l must;' while several of the
passengers cried out: "Bravo!'
-Four more innocents in turn were
brought before me; one, like the first
old gentleman, wildly indignant, swear
ing dire vengeance on everybody; an
other was timid and scared; while two
of them treated the whole thing as a
huge joke, and did their best to afford
the passengers all the fun possible,
which of course only added to my
misery.
Though we had gone some distance
no one seemed to think of getting out;
consequently no one could get in, as
Paris bus never carries more passengers
than there are seats. While the people
downstairs were enjoying themselves
so much at my expense it seems that
those on top were likewise having a
pretty good time. J. told me all about
it several days afterwards, when had
grown less touchy on the subject and
could listen to him without flying into
passion.
1t seems that as soon as he had found
a seat upstairs he drew out of his pocket
book in which he was very much in
terested, something about 1.-The unequal
distribution of wealth among the in
habitants of the globe'-a most en-
crossing subject, l should say, and
when the conductor came around he
handed him only three sous, having
completely forgotten all about poor me.
He positively declares that the conduct
or never asked him if he had wife down.
recalled me to his wandering senses;
also that he knew quite enough French
to understand such demand had it
been made; otherwise, how would he
have been able to have enjoyed the fun
that followed. That he had enjoyed it
there was no doubling
So absorbed was he in his book that
he did not become aware that ANYTHING
unusual was happening, until after the
first two men had been led below; and
as by that time everybody was laughing
and talking so loud, he knew that some
thing must be up, so asked his neighbor
what was the joke. This Frenchman,
by means of abundant pantomime and
few words 81. always understands
French when SO expressed. quite read
ily), made him understand that there
was bold, bad woman downstairs,
who was trying to make some man
upstairs pay her fare; she could not get
anyone down there to do it, so had de-
clared that some one upstairs must;
said she had husband upstairs,-
which of course was only trick of
hers, only the conductor, who was evil
IDENTITY young innocent seemed to be-
ieve her, and was trying to find hus-
band for her. This was the French
mans version of the affair." The con-
ductor made several long speeches on
top, only J. did not exactly catch their
meaning; but, from the way everybody
laughed, he judged the conductor must
have said something very funny, so
thought it would look smarter if he
laughed, too. At last, a Frenchman
with a little more politeness than the
others, rose up, and said it was shame
that just for six sous a woman's fare
should not be paid; he would go down
and see her. If she was young and at
all pretty, he would pay it himself; but
if she was fat and ugly, alas! he could
not; and as some of the men cheered
this gallant little speech he followed
the conductor downstairs.
The passengers downstairs, in the
had been growing restless