The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1891-05-28
DAN MITERS
CHAPTER I.

SllhI l. LIN
De / Miters was especially drunk.
BY t.is l mean that any other man
in the village Of Cane Hill might have
been drunk-and indeed other men OF
that respectable community had been
known to indulge too heartily in
drink-but that Dan Mters, being the
ckncwledeed drunkard OF the place,
was especially and particularly in
toxicated. He was o man OF ack-
nowledged sense. He had, gossip
said, as prelude to some disparag-
ing statement concerning his weak
ness, carried of the honors at we'll
known school. One thing was GER
tain. He expressed himself in better
language than even the county Judge
could hope to employ, and this, at
Cane Hill, was regarded as con-
vincing assertion of higher educa-
ton.
Dan had first come to the village as
the agent OF nursery; not that sort
OF nursery which would disprove the
declaration that marriage, among the
poor at least, is a failure to perpetu-
ate human misery, but as the agent OF
a company which had fruit trees for
sale. He did not thoroughly succeed
in running the gauntlet of village
curiosity, for villagers are critical OF
appearances, and lazy lounger who
sits all day at the store, while his
wife is taking in washing-the utterly
worthless fellow who would rather
wallow in the mire with black false
hood than to recline on avelvet couch
with O bright truth; who wears q
filthy shirt and one "bed tick" suspen-
der; who chews charity tobacco and
spits at knot-hole which, he thinks
by the right OF his own yellow slime,
he has pre-empted-that fellow will
criticise the clothes and facial ex
preston of a stranger.
Dan was criticised, not only by the
worthless loafer, but by the merchant.
and even by the faded woman who had
slipped in to exchange a few eggs for a
small piece of calico. They declared
that Dams hair was too red, and that
there were too many freckles on his
face; and it was agreed that he did not
dress as a gentleman should. The
worthless loafer squirtsd at his pre-
empted knot-hole and remarked:
Now you're gittin' right down to
the squar' facts"
That was q long time ago. Dan was
absorbed into the community's social
system, and became celebrated as the
village drunkard. Previous to his
achievement of this distinction, the
lame had belonged to one Peter B.
Rush, and it appeared that he could
never be robbed of the reputation
which he had laboriously acquired,
but after a few years of con-
test, Peter B. Rush's warmest
admirers were forced to acknowl-
edge that the palm belonged to
Dan Miters. What a handy man was
Mlters when comparison was needed
what an encouragement to innova-
llonl A man, in speaking OF some
one who was stupidity influenced by
liquor. was no longer under the neces-
sity OF saying that he was as drunk
rs the disreputable canine associate
81 the fiddler, but simply fulfilled all
demands by affirming that he was as
drunk as Dan Miters.
Seriously-and unfortunately we
IRE all compelled to be serions at
5lmes-the man of twenty-five whose
education had not been neglected was
vt forty-hve, hopeless vagabond,
With every hope trampled into the
mud away down the road behind him.
tie did odd jobs, cleaned out cellars.
md cut fire-wood for scolding women.
One day, when he appeared to be
'oberer than usual, the mayor OF the
'illage thus addressed him:
Dan, | would like to know some
hing about your life"
And |, sir" Dan replied, would
ike to know something about my
leath."
you are a funny fellow, Dam"
mo doubt OF it, sir. A corpse has
'een known to grim"
Come, don't talk that way. You
ave been here now about twenty
ears and none OF us know where YOU
rere born"
And do you really want to know
where l was born?"
Yes, I'd like to know"
well sir, was born in the night"
There you go again. Say, do you
now that ifyou would brace up there
yet time for you to accomplish
Eyes? But you have tried, and what |
ave you accomplished"
"Why, / own good house and lot |
j am married and have family of |
Interesting children"
"Is that al?"
But isn't that enough?"
Hardly, for you have not taught
our children not to feel, and until
GU do this your marriage stands as
wrong. About a year ago one of
our boys lost an arm at a saw-mill.
'eren't you the primary cause OF his
iffering, and is not a primary cause
,e meanest of all causes?"
Il won't talk to you," the mayor
"There is no reason in your
rgument and no humanity in your
,nclusions. But come" he added in
softened voice, "why don't YOU
axe an effort to keep sober?"
II don't want to keep sober"
And why not?"
Because sobriety is the mother of
ought"