Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-11-05


wish to return our most sincere thanks
for the little notoriety they gave US
last week in the item headed Com
missioners Proceedings" and also
will be very thankful for little notices
of that kind you may feel disposed to
bestow upon US In the future Our
greatest ambition, ever since we came
TO this county, has been to get ourself
before the people so that when we are
nominated for the Office to which We
aspire las you know Eve belong TO the
Alliance for revenue only" but for
goodness sake don't speak of that
again Mac for we are afraid the farm
ers will catch ON that they may be
perfectly familiar with our record and
will know who they are voting for.
We are so modest and tiInid that we
have not the courage or cheek to
speak of oHrself in the HERALD, al
though we did consent to allow our
name to appear in the Commissioners
Proceedings in this paper the week
before it appeared in the Dispatch,
but it was compulsory with US, as the
Commissioners had so ordered and it
was against our sense of honor to even
omit our own name, but we endeavor-
ed to place it in an obscure corner of
the paper so that it might not be seen.
But oh, horrorsl imagine our surprise
on looking over the Dispatch last
week to find that they had come to a
realization of their dishonorable trick
and had gave the omission prominence
in their local columns. For this we
feel greatly indebted to the Dispatch,
for it not only introduces US to the
public but relieves our mind of the
terrible idea that you were jealous of
US and that you have long thought we
belonged to a gang of rebels and an
archists.p We hope you will forgive
Us for the injustice we have done you
in allowing ourself to entertain such
an unworthy opinion of you We
know now that we were wrong and
believe that you have always had a
kind and friendly feeling for US.
Therefore, Mac. and Arthur, with
50 much remorse in our soul we can
hardly find words to thank you and
feel that we never can repay you for
your kindness. But probably, dear
friends, sometime in the future we
may have an opportunity to favor you.
Will promise you now, however, that
when we are sent to Congress we will
cast our ballot in favor of changing
the Constitution SO that Kansas may
have three United States Senators,
and then Mac. we will use our infu-
ence in the Legislature to try and
have you chosen for the third Senator
(for we hardly believe you could fill
Plumb's place. provided you will sol =
EMMY promise US that you will never
allow a copy Of any of the speeches
you make in the Senate be sent here
to Phillipsburg or to any one that Is
acquainted with you now. Then Mac
yoa would have an opportunity to
show to the world what an immense
stock OF brains yon have, and you
could stand up and discuss the great
national questions with "John Sher-
man and John J. Ingalls," But be-
fore we do this you must also prom
ise US that you will read alittle and
post yourself, so that you can stand
up and face those great men without
blushing like you have to do now
when taking part in an ordinary con-
VersatIon.
Or Mac, if you do not desire to be
Kansas third Senator we will do
everything IN our power to have Con-
gress make an appropriation for the
purpose of establishing a Fort lat
Keokuk probably TO protect the peo-
pie from lightnIng-bugs, and we will
use our influence with the President
to have you appointed Brigidier-Gen-
eneral over the men that have to go
forth IN the darkness OF the night and
shoot hghtning-bugs Why bless you
Mac. we feel SO thankful that We be-
lieve We would do almost anything
for you. If we can steal enough
money while we are in Congress we
will buy u little newspaper and pre-
sent it to you SO that you may devote
your time in writing and publishing
personal locals about J. NJ. McNay.
every time he makes little speech "a
at a social gathering, or has the head
ache or u pain in his big toe. Yes,
Mac, we will do all this and will even
20 so far as to promise you that when
we are again requested to testify IN a
whiskey case we will do just as we
done before, and that is, tell what we
know, SO that the County Attorney
will not have to write out a commit
ment to send Us to jail in order to
compel us to tell the truth, as he had
to do with soma others.
In fact Mac. we feel that wa never
can repay you and our heart IS over
flowing with gratitude for your kind
ness towards US. and any little favors
of that kind in the future will be high
ly appreciated. We know you will
mention US again Mac. for your gen
Q