davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
WANTED TO SEE THE EDITOR.
But the Office Boy Was His Friend, an.
Dissualed Him.

But the Office Boy Was His Friend, and
Dissuaded Him.
Ihe paper had said something he didn't
like. and he was going to see the editor
about it and thamp the stuiflng out of him,
SO he said. At the foot of the stairs lead
ing to the den he found a small boy, who
blocked his way.
SIS the editor imp he inquired, roughly.
Yes, sir" inquired the boy, politely.
Can 1 see him?"
II s'pose 80. SIR"
well, / want to. Do / go up this way? ''
Air you Mr.. Johnson" inquired the boz,
with evident personal interest.
Yes, | am"
"Ihe same that the paper give it to in the
neoki"
eyes. What's that to your"
Nothing much. Mr.. johnson, but Pm
your friend
mo, you don't say?'' said the visitor. snr-
castically surveying him. well, let me 90
on up stairs. won't your"
Cert, Mr.. Johnson, but before yon %
INTO the editors room you look in the cor
neF by the door md git a dray pin settin'
there. ! put 1t whore you could oil II eaav
You sec the editor is lookin' for Won and
he's got a big boss pistol in his drawer and
II hatchet layln' on his desk, and when I
seen them preparations | jist thought II was
u shame fer the editor to go fer n man in mis-
OLD paper and use a Ratchet on him besides
without givin' him some sort of a show.
amt nobody bnt an office boy, but I know
what justice ls as we'll as il | WIS president
OF inc united states. Go right on up, hui
go easy. Ihs dray pin is in the left hand
corner.'
And the man didn't go up.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
tiger next full. W. offer this suggestion
because we would rather enjoy witness
ing a closer fight than was made this
tall 4A 4fa5#54E& AFlE2 10Y - sk

EL hIA
En- PREsIpENr HAYES 10 in danger ol
going down to history as the greatest
iconoclast OF the age. Concerning his
denial of the story that he raises chick
ems the st. Paul Pioneer Press says:
LETS make an end also Of the Cincin-
natus myth, and prove that the old
Roman sport was a three-card monte
mar before his election, and subse-
quently appeared in the arena as an ex-
ponent of the manly art of self defense;
that Horatius was u horse-iockey and
never defended anything but the bridge
Of his nose in a game Of foot ball; that
Virginius kept a pool room, and his
daughter was. premier high kicker in a
vaudeville company; and that Tarquin
was a colporteur for the Methodist book
concern. If we are to smash all OF our
delightful fables let us be thorough and
do it with q right good will" @
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
ABOUT PEOPLE.

William Morris. the English wallpApe.
maker, poet and artist, wears an old SLOUGH
hat, rusty sack coat, baggy trousers, a blue
flannel shirt and no necktie.
Baby Mckee is to sleep in a crib which
was the bed of President Harrison when he
was an infant. II has been in the posses
sion OF the family for seventy YEARS.
The daughter of Congressman Baker, of
Kansas, farms her own land. She IL said
to wear a mans Garb. and can plow and
SOW as we'll as any male farmer In the
neighborhood.
The much-talked-o Prince Ferdinand.
of Roumania, is a slender man OF MIDDLE
height. with blue eyes, light brown HAIR
and pleasing manned. his character IS
gentle, but by no means soft. !
When Queen Victoria is rugged out for a
state OCCASION, like a drawing room," it il
no unusual thing to see her display $780,
900 worth of jewelry spread out upon her
comfortable robes of office.
Lady Henry Somerset's son, who is ac-
companying his mother on her tour Of Am-
erica. is a manly young man OF 10 lie has
in prospect . long list Of titles and q longer
and more substantial rent roll.
Henri Rochefort, the French anarchist
who was sent to a penal colony. from which
he escaped, is now living in London. lie
is tall, slight and gray. Although he has
been in England six years he does not
speak English.
George d. McCreary, Philadelphia's new
city treasurer, looks less than thirty. al
though he is considerably older. He is
religously inclined, likes to be interviewed,
is always ready to devote his time to assist
men in getting information and
was one of the original members OF the
famous committee of one hundred.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

The trade reports of China show
among other things the shipments from
an interior province Of $4,000 pounds of
tiger bones valued at $1,000. These
bones are supposed to be valuable be-
cause of a certain strength resultant to
a patient after a few doses. If this be
true how would 1t do for the republican
party in New York to follow the pre-
scription and be ready for the Tammany
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
HE HAD $40 GIRLS.
And Therefore He Had to Make LIDS
Visits q Week.

v1slVs y NOoNs
An Oriental dispatch casually mentions
the fact that the king of AMMAN has at
present $40 wives. This leads an analytical
Jacques in the Minneapolis Tribune to NOR
alize as follows: Consider for a moment
what this statement entails. CHANGING back
a few years in the life of the king it is evil
dent that at one time, not long past, An
MANS ruler must have had $40 sweethearts.
If he had visited each one q whole evening
it.would have been impossible to gothrough
the list in q year. Now no self-respecting
girl will be satisfied with a lover who calls
once a year. twice a week is a good aver
age. On this basis let us do a little figur-
ing.
The king of AMMAN visited $40 girls twice
a week. That would be 1883 visits a week,
or, counting Sundays, 165 visits a night.
To any who knows how hard it is to tear
himself away from the front gate under the
circumstances in which AMMAN must have
found himself, the terrible wear on the
kings constitution is evident at a glance.
Besides keeping on the jump to cover the
l65 assignments, there were l65 cases OF
mental anguish oocasioned by the tearing
himself away" process.
Suppose, next, that AMMAN said to each
girl: II love you, dearest. You ate the
loveliest woman in the world" Suppose,
if you can, that he said this only. That is
twelve words to each woman, 1880 wo DIS
each evening. That is over a column and a
half of minion type.
Again, if each OF the 579 papas kept bull
dogs, az all self especting papas are sup
posed by the newspaper photographers to DO.
there were 165 bulldogs per night to be
guarded against.
But the worst is not yet. AMMAN has $40
mothers-in-lew. Every spring be has, in
Il IA - II IN f~- ,-A-- l~nv
every winter he has 579 bills foc sealskin
sacques. Multiply your household expenses
by $40 and you will understand the quality
OF the soup Annam'sruler has dropped into.
Compared with this, who will,say that the
life of the young married citizen of the free
republic of North America is not a happy
one? Is the king of AMMAN $50 times hap
pier thai YOU are?
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

ton business Of the state. and no line
will be watched more closely or with
more solioitude than the Burlington,
which Is expected to oome to Castle,
Three Forks, Butte and Helena, Should
Ii strike Three Forks tho Anaconda
company would be very likely to do
something at that point.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

IT is announced that Mr.. Blaine will
decide in December whether he will be
a candidate. In the meantime one
Benjamin Harrison, is dancing about on
needles and pins. Mr.. Blaine however
should go a little farther and relieve the
country by deciding whether he would
be elected if nominated. 1t is just as
we'll to have these matters settled at
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
HELENA, MONT, NOV. 30. 1891.

-Montanians abroad will always find TaE
DAILY INDEPENDENT on file at their favorite
hotels: Fifth Avenue and Metropolitan, New
York; West, Minneapolis; Baldwin and Palace,
San Francisco; McDermott, Butte; Leland Hotel,
Springfield. Ill.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

WE still think the appointment to
succeed the late Judge Sawyer on the
United States bench should come to
Montana. President Harrison will learn
that his chances of securing a'delega-
ton from this state are by no means so
secure as he thinks.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

THE Helena journal and Butte Inter
Mountain are invited to prophesy the
line of argument in that portion of
President Harrison's message relating
to silver.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

HE European wal gossipers have
been thrown in state of excitement over
a recent order from the Russian minis
ter of wal for the preparation Of 10000
600 pounds of soldiers biscuits by the
first OF the year. This may mean peace
or war or simply the construction of a
wall around the czar's palace that will
protect him from dynamite attacks.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

IT IS hardly necessary for our repub-
lican contemporaries to emphasize the
fact that the election of Mills to the
speakership NEAR the tariff as an issue
next year. Any democrat elected to
that Office will be q tariff reformer and
in any possible event the tariff will be
the issue next veal.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

DR.. CUYLER of New York has no faith
in the keeley cure for inebriety, but
sticks to his old theory that total absti-
n is the only sure route to reform.
No n ever complained that this would
not cure. The difficulty is in finding a
way to reach total abstinence.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

IT is reported that President Harri-
sons Thanksgiving turkey had no wish
bone. 1t was not a serious deprivation for
in this case no significance could be
attached to this particular piece Of
ANATOMY.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

VALUABLE time will be saved to dem
Gratis by refusing to consider John M.
Palmer as a presidential or ~vice-presi-
Dental possibility. To begin with he is
too old and in addition there are other
objections which need not be discussed.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

HELENA wants a public building and
wants it very badly. Our representa-
tives IN the national congress will please
bear this in mind.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

GOVERNOR HILL will hang on to the
g~overnorship of New York until sue
ceeded by ~Governor-eleco Flower. He
is too much of a patriot to give the title
to old Freight Jones for a moment.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

If Da Fonseca really wishes to be-
come a dictator of the first degree he
should come to America and get points
from ex-Speaker Reed.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

The prospect of a lively theological
discussion in this city Is cheering to
those citizens who are anticipating a
long and tiresome winter.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

SENATOR Quay is down IN Florida.
There is a popular belief that the object
Of his visit to that state every year is to
gather new nerve from the alligators.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

ST. PAUL will have the best OF Mime
apolis if she the national demo-
cratic convention. The winners will be
named at that gathering.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

CONGRESSMAN Dixon will make no
mistake by voting for any one OF the
candidates named for the speakership.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

HELENA must have a mineral palace
next year. This much being settled
ideas on the subject are now in order.
Send them to The INDEPENDENT.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

BROOKLYN is suffering from lack Of
water. In Butte this would cause no
embarrassment whatever.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
THE DEPENDE

Remittances 1t tho risk Of subscriber unlees
madc BY registered letter, check, or postal or *
nicss order, payable to Tho independent Pub
fishing Company.
eN-Psrsons desiring the INDIFFERENT served
at their homes or place Of business can order by
postal card or through telephone No. 100 Pleass
report cases Of irregular delivery promptly.
Advertisements, to insure prompt insertion,
should 10 handed in before 8 y. N.
Rejected Communications not returnable IN
less postage is enclosed.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

EASTERN poets IN search of inspira-
ton are invited to study the glories Of a
November day in Montana.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

AMONG other things Denver furnishes
more sensational murder trials than any
other town in America.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

THERE is a chance that the infamous
republican gerrymander of New York
will 1901 become a thing of the past.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30

Poor old New York may yet be able
to secure the Farmer Alliance nyen
ton.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

n.;,y f;ncluding Sunday per ear........ $40 On
Daily Including Sunday ak months...... b 90
Daily Including Sunday three months.... 80
n,ily Iexcludin. Sunday per year......... Q 90
Daily Excluding Sunday per month";. 70
Sunday only lin advance per year. ........ go
Weekly lin advance only per year....... 20
Daily by carrier, pes week, lseven issuesl.. 70
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-11-30
$500 Reward
FOR THE DISCOVERY OF BODY OF
JOHN M'PHEE,

Lost in the mountains In Deer Ledge County
west of Rimini and south of .Elliston. Mr..
and weighed about 10 pounds. lie had blue
ayes, brown hair, a redish brown full beard
trimmed medium close, and a scar on ne right
September 30, about three miles east OF tho On.
tario mine. He had on glasses and wore n dats
suit of clothes, dark spring overooat and dArI
sprina hat. He carried a gold hunting case
watch with his name engraved on the insido case.
Address information 10 The Grand Republic
Mining Co., Helena, Mont
IHE GRAND REPUBLIC MINING Co.,
CATHOLIC KNIGHTS or AMERICA.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
A Modern Solomon.

A famous Chicago lawyer once had q
singular case to settle. A physician came
to him in great distress. Two sisters,
living in the same house, had babies OF
equal age, who SO resembled each other
that their own mothers were unable to
distinguish them when they were to-
gether. Now it happened that by the
carelessness Of the nurses the children
had become mixed, and how were the
mothers to make sure that they received
back their own infants? "But, perhaps,
said the lawyer, ''the children weren't
changed at ALL" "Oh, but there's nc
doubt they were changed" said the ply.
sician. Are you sure of it?" "Per-
fectly." "Wel, if that's the case why
don't you change them back again2
don't see any difficulty in the case."-
Boston Saturday Gazette.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
why Women Should Help Govern.

The eternal and ineradicable distinc-
tion of sex is one principal reason why
women in a representative government
should be directly represented. If law
yers alone cannot safely be trusted to
make laws for mechanics, if merchants
alone cannot legislate for farmers, il
every well defined class in society is en-
titled to its own authoritative expression
through the ballot, surely women, who
are the wives and sisters and mothers of
men, should give expression to the do
mestic interests from the feminine point
of view. If Blacksmith cannot fairly
represent a physician, how much less can
man represent woman!-Henry B.
Blackwell.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24

Ramona, Los Angeles County, Ca.
l0-26u Or 70 n. d. WILLIAMS, Ramona
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
Comfort for Corpses.

Among the inventions that commend
themselves to public notice during the
last fifty years are those relating to cof-
fms, graves and burials. One of these is
intended to furnish the tenant Of a grave
who has been buried prematurely with a
means Of escape or arousing the neigh
borhood. This invention is simple af-
fair, being merely an open tube provided
with a rope ladder and bell and cord.
Should the occupant of the coffin awake
from the trance he could climb the lad
der and make his way back to the world,
or pull the bell and alarm the township.
For those whose only fear is that they
may not be allowed to rest undisturbed
a considerate inventor has provided a
torpedo grave" which, if disturbed, ex-
plodes at once and scatters the vandals
to the winds.-C Chicago Times.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24

used Simmons Liver Regulator for indiges-
tion with immediate relief.-O. q. Sparks, Ex-
Mayor, Macon, Ga.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
TO THE UNFORTUNATE
DR.. Gibbons
DISPENSARY
e23 Kearny Street

Corner of Commercial, /,
San Francisco, Cal. Els.
tablished In 1854, for
treatment ofSexualand
Seminal Diseases, such
as Gonorrhea, Gleet,
Structure, Syphilis In
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
PASADENA.

Miss Marcia French died at her resi-
dence, ON Summit avenue, Saturday
night. Death resulted from injuries re-
ceived from her burning clothing, which
ignited while kindling a fire yesterday
morning. The deceased was 81 years
old and leaves one sister, Mrs. j. r.
Clarke, residing at Altadena.
The marriage of our popular city
clerk, James Campbell, and Miss, Num-
ter Pasadena belle. will take place
this morning at the residence OF Lieut..
Frank Green, chief signal officer of the
department of Ariz,na, in Los Angeles.
After short wedding trip, Mr.. and
Mrs. Campbell Will return to Pasadena
to reside for the present at the Camp
bell residence on California street. The
young couple have the warm congratu-
lations of a. host of friends.
DR.. Mccoy, Of Los Angeles, spent
Sunday in Pasadena.
j. H. Slaughter was stricken with
paralysis at his residence, Las Robles
avenue yesterday morning. He is now
out OF danger, and hopes of his speedy
recovery are entertained by his many
South Pasadena. is excited over the
raise in rates on the Terminal, which
goes into effect tomorrow. A compro-
mise will probably be effected.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
Apply at once Of

PURE6T SPRING WATER
Inexhaustible quantities guaranteed.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
FoREsTER's SPORTS.
Results of the I. o. F. Athletic Contest
at Redondo f

Results of the 1. o. F. Athletic Contest
at Redondo.
The trains on the Redondo railroad
Saturday were we'll laden with members
OF the various courts of the Independent
Order OF Foresters of Southern California,
gathering for their annual conclave or
assembly. At noon time the tables at
the Redondo pavilion were loaded with
eatables, and the assembled Foresters did
full justice to the lunch as advertised. AS
soon as lunch had been discussed, the
crowd began to move up to the grounds
by the Chautauqua amphItheater, where
Manager Ed Miles had prepared for the
athletic exercises Of the day.
The exercises began with a game of
baseball, "town against country"
wherein in four innings score OF IA to
6 in favor of the country nine was made.
For the balance of the exercises &. L.
McElfresh and A. H. Hutchinson were
chosen judges, and the result was as
follows:
Foot race, 100 yards, George Adams
first, Maxey second.
Sack race-A. s. Perry won.
Three-legged race-Adams and Butter
worm Hrst, anu "A. ID. MUM anu y. ".
Morley second.
Potato race-Mr. Roeder first, Mr..
McClain second.
Throwing the sledge-Hinman first,
Pete Hall second.
Boys race-Mannie Gibson won.
Girls race-Mary Smith won.
The tug of war was won by the team
from Alfalfa court.
Swimming race, 200 yards-Joe Wine
gar won.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24

Local and through tickets sold, baggage
checked, Pullman sleeping car reservations
made, and general Information given upon ap-
plication to J. NJ. CRAWIRY, Asst. G. Pas. Agt.,
No. 200 s. Spring ST., cor. Second. CHARLES
SEYLER, Agent at Depots.
tSundays only.
SuHdays excepted.
Saturdays only.
RICH'D GRAY, Gen. Traffic Mgr.
T. Fl. GOODMAN,
tt 0en'l Passenger Agt.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
DROWNED IN THE SURF.
Anaheim Landing Furnishes Sunday
Bathing Casualty.

A report reached this city last even
ing of a drowning accident at Anaheim
Landing at 8 80 O'Clock yesterday after
noon. The victim of the accident was
a man named Good, who resided al
-Buens Park. Good was in bathing and
had passed out beyond the breakers.
While returning he either became ex-
hausted or was seized with cramp, and
commenced to call for assistance.
Attempts were made to launch boat
and rescue him, but his body had dis
appeared before assistance could arrive.
Search was made for the corpse, but up
to last accounts it had not been re-
covered.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
Baron Liebig
The Greatest Discovery on Earth

rs DIR. JOHN L. KELLETTS PARADISE OIL,
i which removes all infamations end impuri-
permanent cure Of Rheumatic, Neuralgia and
all other pains that the human flesh Is heir to
1t is guaranteed to cure any case of Sore Eyes,
ated sores without pain or Injury to the sound
flesh. And it also takes off Spavins, Curbs,
Splints and all false enlargements on horses.
There is no necessity of suffering pain. To
purify the blood and regulate the liver, kid
neys and bowels; to cure sick headache dys-
pepsia, nervousness and kindred diseases that
is caused by impure blood, use PARADISE BIT
TIERS. Price of each 81 per bottle Manufac-
tured by Kellett & Brown, Fresno, Cal. All
F. w. BRAUN & CO.,
GIG 3m Los Angeles California.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
CATALINA ISLAND STEAMERS.
NOTICE

GAN GABRIEL VALLEY RAPID TRANSIT
y railway-Plincipal place OF business. Lus
Angeles, Los Angeles county, California.
Notice Is hereby given that there is delin-
quent upon the following described stock, on
account of assessments levied on the 14th day
of July, 1881, the several amounts set Opposite
the names OF the respective shareh holders the
same being the full amount unpaid upOn said
stock, as follows:
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
Quite Fatal.

Mrs. Spiggit-Do you think that smok-
ing shortens life?
Mrs. Gazlay-I think it does. I'm
sure some of the cigars my husband
smokes would kill me il staid in the
room.-New York Epoch.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24
BACClLLI IN BLOOD,


Recent experiments as read before the
last Congress of Surgeons at Berlin, leave
no doubt that the true way TO CLEA T
THE SYSTEM OF MICROBI is
through the pores of the skin. 1t has becn
found that remedy which kills the Mi
crobi will also destroy the life of the
patient; but it has also been found that the
Microbi can be forced out through the
skin, and it is in this way that g g a.
relieves the system of poison. 2s9s s...:ss 1870
lIAgyNc SUFFERED much from Conts-
" gious Blood Poison, after using half
s6 dozen e p1nIsoa bottles Of nsA.rM WAS rMsTS s"
all eruptive sores disappeared. You arc
at liberty to make any use OF my statement
that YOU wish.--J. CROSBY BYRON, 209
Third Avenue, Pittsburg, Pa.
Treatise on Blood and Skin diseases mailed free.
SWIFT SPECIFIC CO..
Drawer g. Atlanta. Ga.
Los Angeles herald., 1891-08-24

Weakness, Impotency and Lost Manhood per,
manentiy cured. The sick and afflicted should
not fall to call upon him. The Doctor has trav.
eled extensively in Europe and inspected thor.
oughly the various hospitals there, obtaining .
great deal Of valuable information, which he IL
Competent to impart to those in need of his
services. The Doctor cures where others fail.
Try him. DR. GIBBON will make no charge
unless he effects q cure. Persons at a distance
CURED AT HOME All communication
strictly confidential. ALI letters answeEed In
plain envelopes.
Cali or write. Address DIR. J. +. GIBBON, Boz
l 1857, San francisco, Cal.
Mention Los Angeles HHAALD. o7-12m