The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-16
B 2IGHT BITS.
Are these colors fasti

CUsroMER-Are these colors fast?
New Salesman-Well black is never con-
sidered a fast color. but we have some pretty
loud variegated colors that might please you
Judge.
Hell detest being thin. and have tried
everything-paten medicines included.
She (anxious for an invite)-Did you ever try
good dinner at Delmonico's2-Frd,lk Leslie's
illustrated Newspaper.
WIFE TO her husband. who is writing note of
invitation TO a dinner)-Now. Karl. don't forget
to invite Prof. Warzig. He is 30 ugly that the
very sight of him will spoil the appetite of all
the other guests.-Schlefsische Zeitun0.
For the first time in its history" sobs
Nebraska dispatch, "a saloon license has been
granted in Weeping Water" The cynicism of
geographical nomenclature has seldom been
displayed more wantonly.-Net0 York san.
TEAcHER-wiIie, have observed with great
pain that for several mornings past you have
been tardy.
Little Boston Willie (proudly)-Yes. sir. 1 tie
my own neckties now.-CIothier and Fur
nisher.
Mrs. ToAPKINs-when my husband stays out
all night refuse to give him any breakfast.
Mrs. Smythe-That may do for Mr. Tompkins,
but 1t wouldn't punish my Jim a bit. When he
stays out all night he doesn't want any break
fast.-Puck.
EFFIE-See, Eva, there's ring exactly like
the one that Jack Chapman gave yon tue one
that he said he paid $500 for.
Eva-Is thereg Where?
Effie-Right In front, here; and it's marked
" oS.-Bostontdn.
MUDeE-I know am right. I'll bet the drinks
that lam.
Timmins-I would take you up, but do not
drink.
Mudge-O, don't let that stop you. I'll agree
to drink both drinks myself, win or lose
Indianapolis Journal
Mrs. HAYsEED lin hotel dining a
bright light those lamDS give
Mr.. Hayseed (whispering)-Say gas Jets, Ma
rier; them amt lamps.
what a bright light she gas jets give; guess
they re fresh trimmed.-GoOd AetSs.
AT the police courts the judge to a small boy
in the prisoners pen.
You are only years old. and yet you con-
fess to be the perpetrator Of this robberyi'
| Is my boy, you are beginning young"
z so am, sir, but 1t was only for to-day.
Father is sick, and when he is away do his
work for him. "-PdriS Figaro.
ONE of our physicians recently received the
following letter from a country physician:
"Dear dock l have pashunt who's phisicol
sines shoes that the windpipe has liberated of,
and hts lungs have drop intOo his stumiok. he
| is onoble to swollcr and feer his stumick tube
| 10 gone. l have Civ hymn everything without
effeckt bis father is welthy onerabhe and infii-
ential he is an active member OF the church
and God nose don't want to loos hymn, what
| snail due, ans. by returne male, yours in
need Fairfield Journal
MRS. FIszLEToP not being satisfied with..the
progress made by her son at the University of
Texas, called on the teacher.
Professor, how is my son Johnny coming on
In his studiesf" she asked anxiously.
Il have great hopes Of him, madam-great
hopes"
II am glad to hear that"
Eyes, madam he is phenomenally lazy. l
don't think ever saw a boy who was so lazy"
q II understood you TO say YOU had great homes
of him.
so have. for think if he ever begins to
study be is too lazy ever to stop. Sift-
iags. 8f