The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-26
GIRL IN GOTHAM
AN ACCOUNT OF HE'S CURIOUS Elk.
PzhIENCEs IN THAT CITY.

Queer Characters O26 MeetS-Drinking
Out of a Cantesn--A Question That
Made the Author Blush-What One
sees in a Swell Eo;eL
New YORK, April 81 have found here
in New York girl after my own heart. 1t
isn't that she is good-looking, attractive, or
especially bright; but she is bitten by the
physical culture snake. likes to breathe the
real air. and lots Of it, walk on her own
feet, and develop the real muscle with
which she is well supplied.
So we agree 70 take Boo-oo-ooh cold
baths, vising with each other in their fire.
auency and iciness. Oltslde Of falling sud-
denly and desperately in love, getting re-
ligion at a revival nesting or inheriting a
fortune you had never even heard of before,
life holds no more delightful and satisfactory
sensations than those induced by an icy
bath in an icy room on bitter morning.
The fervor OF religion, the glow OF love,
the intoxoation Of sudden wealth, it takes
'em all in, and adds puissant, invinclble,
Acknowledging for-more-w orlds-to-con-
quer feeling OF its own, absolutely mot to be
obtained elsewhere"
After my bath double up my f1sts-with
the thumbs outside-and attack a hypotheti-
cal adversary for five or six minutes every
morning. | never leave him until be is a
disfgured corpse, then / blithely assume
few clothes-I don't feel the need of SO many
as | used-and | assault the difficulties of
the day with confident heart.
After while my girl comes for me to
walk. She bitches and gigglos; it's curious
tina she should, when she walks her nine
miles every day. She wears rubbers, too.
O, rubbers, nowl And holds up her dress
But you should sec NE! l have the pre-
scribed outfit, heavy walking shoes, short
walking dress, a high color and a stout
heart | hold up my head, put back my
shoulders according to regulationsl and go
swinging along in the most approved form.
forget and whistle sometimes, away up in
the remote solitudes of Harlem, or on some
secluded, pensive and policem unless path
way in the park. l always stop when
think OF it, though for my girl hasn't got
that far yet and I've q notion it seems loud
10 her.
We take physical culture" in broken
doses, twice week, too, and | find 1t per-
fectly delightful. know now why fellows
swagger that cultivate their muscles in
stead of their brain, and don't blame 'em
bit. smile Ito myself every time see
one Of them, and say, YES, know. So
l had learned before l left Texas to
drink out of a canteen, to sit on my heels
with safety, If not with grace, aud to stay
with" pitching pony as long as the cinche
held. l have now added TO thess acoom-
plishments a stock of seventy-nine move
ments," Exercises" and attitudes" some
of them about as difficult of execution as
looking at the back of your own neck, or
saying the alphabet backward while you
smut both eyes aud look out of the other.
They are all perfect wonders of delight to
me. 90 through them with the enthusiast
tic enjoyment Of a 10-year-old urchin; and
like Gregory Griggs, with bis forty seven
different wigs, never can tell which like
the best.
l always, walk across Brooklyn bridge,
wherever else l may take a car. There, at
least, for a few minutes every day, my
provincial lungs breathe fine, fresh air; and
my provincial eyes, ears aud nerves are
rested from the sight Of shops aud stores
and the ceaseless cutlery of city life.
There l often meet a readyomade figure,
simile that olld be used To advantage to
point to a variety OF morals or adorn
almost any sort of tale.
1t consists of.two little boys, or girls. with
one pair of roller SKATES SHARED between
them, and would ser e admirably TO illus
trade a sermon on free trade, while as a
clincher to a matrimonial chapter or O hus-
bands aud wives lecture it could not be
beat. Indeed, its application is Unlimited;
what are we all but children with one skate
onG There isn't a soul of US on this big
bridge stretching from the darkness of the
Was into the obscurity Of the To BE that
wears but one skate land bad corn on the
other foot, too, MOSTLY and we need some
one on that off side, tine biggest and best of
US. We can skate along little while--so
can these children frolic and flourish about,
that other foot with its bad corn held up
safely; but when we begin to wobble, as the
most sklllful of us l. bound to do sooner or
later, there is a mighty prompt reaching out
for help on that off side.
think the suggestion is worthy the at
tention Of the preachers, free trade orators
and writers upon The Ideal Marriage, to all
OF WHOM l freely give it,
walked very slowly across the bridge the
other day and sat down on beach on the
middle tower, because was some fifteen
minutes cad Of an engagement. was
going TO present very nice letter of intro.
ductlon to very distinguished person. 1t
was written by man who couldn't help
himself, Icing under some obligations to
brother, and needing my fathers support in
the matter of little office.
Veil, l sat down and opened a book |
usually carry with me; but the great vol
uIle OI humanity Is always so much more
attrac. i've to me than any printed work
that looked about to see If there were not
some curious and interesting pages from it's
comedies, tragedies, everyday dramas or
iarces floating loose around me. Sure
enough, not three feet away sat what Sam
y" eler would call "a old file." He was
regular picture-book figure. or stage "old
man" long, thin. seedy; with fluffy white
halr and eyes as black as the villains pur-
pose or design. He fixed me with these
burning eyes, and says he: Ibid you ever
study Zypotologyp
bIushed holly, for though of that rosy
letter In my pocket which stated that l had
Deen subjected, as it WERE to very superior
education; and there was an old file want
ing to know if I had studied an ''ologyn I'd
never even heard of before.
u
Just so, +" he replied, SIT is ever too alb
stract for the female mind. 1t is to psy~
chology what algebra is to arithmetic. what
psychology is to ethics. Beautiful science
wonderful theory-ennobinR study Now
you are woman" Il bowed humbly), but
you have an intellig mt eyen Il brightenedl,
ana have a system by which | can ex-
pam to you the true principles Of Zypoto-
Iogy in an hour'I timen q collapsed.l
LOOK at this structure, at these massive
lowers, from girders, cables, pillars, etc.
All the structures of man, the monuments
gfn 81 l. e. -