The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-04-30
ERPS BURGLARS.

Farmer stebbips and His Wife Get .
Terrible Scare from Strangers.
Farmer Fri Stebbins, fast asleep after
his hard days work in the field, was sud-
denly reused to semi-conscioasness by q
loud crash. Just what or where the noise
was did not appear, and. after little vain
listening for further disturbance, the tired
farmer sank again into slumber. A mo-
ment later he was once more roused-this
time most thoroughly so-by his wife's
voice whispering hoarsely in his ear: "Eri!
Eriei wake upl There's somebody down
suller trampin' roundl Don't you hear
um!"
Fri did hear some one moving somewhere
in the lower part of the house, and he in
stantly slid out of bed ready to do battle.
Somebody in the cellar! He'd show 'em
thing or two worth remembering" With
these warlike thoughts flashing through
his mind the farmer slipped on his trousers
and stole softly down stairs to the kitchen.
The noise in the cellar sounded very loud
now, but not at all like tramping; rather
it was a combination of scuffling and
scratching with queer stopping sound, as
of some one padding in water.
Fri was taking down his loaded gun from
its hooks on the wall just as another crash
sounded through the house. This time the
sound was unmistakable; pan of milk
had been knocked from the table to the
stone floor. The angry farmer cooked his
gun, hurried to the cellar door, threw it
open and then-stopped short.
The bright moonlight streaming in at
the outside door of the cellar showed five
or six half grown pigs making feast of
the milk, which was streaming over the
floor.
Fri at once understood the situation
The pigs, which were pastured in the or
chard about the house, had found their
way to the outer door, pushed it open and
entered the cellar. The only thing to do
was to drive them out.
So, putting his gun back on the hooks,
Fri started to eject the intruders.
Now if any one terrestrial quadruped is
harder to drive than all others.1hat quad
ruped is a pig. However, as the farmer
was experienced in pig driving and thor
oughly in earnest, he soon got rid of all
except one brute that steadfastly refused
to go. He would charge full toward the
open door, but when within few feet of
it would suddenly dart aside and rush
back to the farthest corner of the cellar.
When routed from this lurking place he
would repeat his former maneuver with
just enough variation to render impossible
any attempt to stop him.
After three or four such experiences Fri
began to get excited. He would have beaten
the pig, but he had no weapon of any sort
At last however, he got near the brute
and, raising his foot, kicked him heavilyin
the rear. Alas for Fri! he had quite for
gotten that he was barefooted.
AS result he nearly broke all the toes
of his right foot The kick, moreover,
frightened the poor pig so badly that he
suddenly made bolt up the stairs toward
the kitchen.
Now it happened that Dame Stebbins,
armed with an old boot and carrying a
tallow candle, was just coming to her hus-
bands assistance. There was fine COM
bination of screams, squeaks and grunts,
followed by several heavy bumps, as the
the woman and pig rolled together down
the stairs and into the puddle of milk
below.
At this ludicrous sight Fri burst into
laughter, whereupon his indignant spouse
soundly berated him for his hardness of
heart, declaring that he would laugh if she
were to break her neck.
While the farmer was pacifying his
angry wife prudent piggy slipped quietly
out of the door and made good his escape.
Youths Companion.