The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-06-24

tlate upon any subject or sentiment which a
toastmaster may wish to have exp0unded as the
ly put it:
while others discourse of the boiled and the
roast,
He serves a raw clergyman up with toast;
or catches some doctor, quite tender and young,
And basely insists on a bit of his tongue
Poor victim, prepared for his critical spit,
With stuffing OF praise and basting of wit;
You may witch at your collar and wrinkle your
But you're up on your legs and you're in for it
After dinner speakers bear about the same re-
lation to POSTMASTER as that useful little mod
ern invention advertised so widely in the news
owner; "you press the button and we do the
rest" epon this occasion, however, the duty if
CRITICAL, Is also pleasant and grateful.
"For here, among my native shades, in lap of
common mother,
Where every stranger seems friend and every
l feel the old convvial glow (unaided) DER me
The warm Champaign, old-partcular brandy
punchy feeling"
Charles Lamb said; mankind is divided into
two classes, those who borrow and those who
lend, and so far as my speech is concerned YOU
Will discover before / sit down, If indeed you
have not already done so, that belong TO the i'm
pecunlous class; for am borrowing Of any liter
airy friend or patron who happens to be handy
and VIII honor my drafts. In the olden time
w e blankets luxury known only to the
nof any d those modern 'A'i inyenti R5Iis
for making man "healthy, wealthy and wise" our
dear old grandmothers used to Manufacture from
various bright bits of odds and ends, long treas
9red up IN the hope that they would come in han
dy some DAY, very useful and economical cover
ing known as a patchwork quilt. Now, 1t was not
until THIS morning that the Eminent Commander
informed me that he had expected speech from
me today. lthereupon inquired what kind of a
speech he expected; social, historical. sentiment
tai or otherwise. He replied: "Oh, give me
some of EACH"
Jack, said my lady is it grog you'll try,
VI punch, or today, II perhaps you're dry?
On, said the sailor, though can't refuse;
You know my lady, faint for me to choose.
IN take the grog to finish OFF my lunch,
And drink the toddy while youm the punch
Now, like lagos "My invention comes from nv
pate as Dird-llme does from frieze. it plucks out
Drains ana all" SO In consequence of the barren
ness OF my home market and my lack of free raw
material, have been unable to provide myself
Win nne spun mantle OF oratory, to cover my
nakeuneSS, put am neceSsitated to present nv
sell with only this patchwork quilt made up from
odds and ends which have been lying around in
my garnet for years to save me from an embar-
console and excuse myself in the reflection
tnat tne WlseSt man that ever lived declared that
there is nothing new under the sun" and even
SO Drlillant genius as Robert Burns admitted
IN mat most sacred OF all human writings, love
letter II IKE to have quotations for every occa-
sion, they give ones ideas so pat, and save one
tne trouble OF finding expressions adequate to
Somewhere, somehow, some day in the good
time coming, old things will have passed away,
and everything will be new, bright and original,
perhaps including after dinner speeches. but
when? Probably when all the ever desired and
never expected things occur, which to trayesty
our genial friend DR.. Holmes will be:
"When legislators keen the law
N When banks dispense with bolts and locks
Wnen berries whortle, rasp and straw,
Grow bigger downwardS through the box
When preachers tell US all they think
And party leaders all they mean,
Mnen what we pay for, that we drink
from real grape and coffee bean,
When lawyers take what they would give,
Ana doctors give what they would take
When ked Cross Knights eat but to live,
save when they fast for conscience sake,
When Portland's opera house is built
AND Neal BOWS say so isn't law,
Wnen BACK Bay hats no longer stink,
And Sheriff Cram is "Baccarat"
Let creeds and dogmas clash and craze
To proselyte the whole round globe
But when you see those blessed days
linen order your ascension robe.
ful day, and permitted to participate in the pleas
ureS OF this occasion. We can't have too many
OF such reunions to bring as closer together make
care and trouble out Of life. It's work-a-day
world In some way for everybody, school of pa
tience and perseverance, and we don't have one
too many MONDAYS before graduation. Remember
that you are probably going through it for the last
time. Make up your mind that the best that there
IS IN this world isn't half good enough for you but
p put uP WILD IL uncomplainngly, and so far as in
nocent pleasure and enjoyment are concerned,
uon oie IN debt to yourselves. 1 trust you will
one and all succeed in keeping the balance of that
ora UNI On tne gntslde OF your ledgers and be-
lore you retire tonight may you be able to enter a
go0d round sum upon the credit side under date
OF Portland, June %, 1891.
Story telling and singing followed the
speeches until p. m, when the boat was
taken for the city. and the. visitors dsem-
parked at Railroad wharf ana took their
train for home at the old Commercial street
station. Portland Commandery then
marched to the asylum on Exchange street.
via Park, Congress and Exchange streets
and disbanded.
The committee from Portland Command
cry who had charge of the arrangements for
entertaining the Salem visitors were
Very Eminent Sir Thomas P. Shaw, Past
Eminent Sir Clayton j. Harrington, Sir w.
S. Corey. Sir j. Frank Lang and Sir Edwin
F. Vose.
A breakdown.
PORTSMOUTH, IN. H., June 90. = While
hauling special train containing members
Of Winslow Lewis Commandery. Knights
Templar, of Salem, returning from Portland
centric rod two miles this side of Conway
junction. The engine was repaired and the
train arrived In this city an hour and half
late.