River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-11-05
pITA AND POINT.
-Jagson says it's long loan that has
no returning. -Elmira Gazette

-Jagson says it's a long loan that has
no returning. Gazette.
--Doctor-"No man has to die more
than once" Maud-''Aren'ty you sorry?''
Life
To the indolent man every move
meet is a labor novement.-Boston
Courier
"A lawyer generally feels himself
competent to break any will except his
wifv's. boston Courier
Hardly a week passses but we are
constantly surrounded by perils seen
and kerosene. Texas Siftings.
"A young man who has just been
accepted" exultingly remarks that he
Is now member of the weekly press.
Lowell Courier.
Miss Bond-"Don't you think that
Mrs. Blank is somewhat affected?"
Mr.. Young-"I think that her head may
be. Lowell City.
Men Judge mans religion by his
actions outside the church, and the
women Judge il by the brilliancy of his
prayers within.-Atchison Globe.
-He-"What beautiful figure Miss
Sweetly has" Shelves; the dress
maker says il is so easy to build upon
SO angular, you know Boston News
1T always spoils the effect of the
sermon on man when he intends to
put nickel on the plate and absent
mindedly puts on quarter. buffalo
Times.
-Maudie-"Good gracious! think
there is man following close behind
u.s.. Jennie-"Well, don't walk SO
fast. dear. He never can catch up with
us. N. Y. Telegram.
-Jinks "Cholly doesn't seem to
have any presence of mind" Filltins-
"No, but it's all his parents fault.
They didn't present him any."-N. Y.
Herald.
-Prima racie Evidence. Priscilla
"Jack tried to kiss me last night, and
do you know. believe he had been
drinking" Angelina-''He must have
been. "-Br andon Bucksaw.
You will excuse me for saying so,
Miss Hawkins, but you have beautiful
foot" $50 I've been told, Mr.. Sappy-
and perhaps you will excuse me for
saying that you ought to see papa's"-
n. Y. Herald.
-"Ow, VOW exclaimed verdant
gunner, as his borrowed bird-dog dashed
between his legs and dumped him in
the stubble; "they told me that was a
setter but il seems to me he's more of
an upsetter. boston Courier.
Saved. Nipper fell overheard
on the ferry this morning, but hc didn't
drown" Il wonder at it lie told me
he couldn't swim a stroke" "He can't.
As soon as he struck the water he
closed his water-tight compartments"
N. Y. Sun.
Jones (reading aloud)-"'A true,
good, noble woman is ever ready To
make herself doormat for the man
she loves?' All, Dolly, those are the
women who make the best wives!' Mrs.
]. (who is not of this type)-"Yes, dear,
aud the worst hus bands!'-Punch.
Family ] ars. MIR. Luscher-"It's
time to get up and make the fire. I've
been calling you for the last half hour.
i don't believe you'd awaken at the
sound of Gabriel's horn" Mrs. Luscher
well, you would then. You'd waken
at the first suggestion of a horn
Brooklyn Eagle
Clara lat the seaside)-"You don't
seem to be making much progress with
the Boston fellow" Maude-''Why,
what makes you think SOP" Clara
You have been with him three even
ings now, and the creases in his trous-
ers still extend above the knee. -
Clothier and Furnisher.
-Landlady (starting the converse.
tom -''How absurd the ancients were
when we think of it. They actually be.
lieved that the souls of the dead EN-
tered birds and animals" Brutal
Boarder- othing absurd about that
Take this chicken we are eating, for in.
stance. 1t was probably inhabited by
the sole of a shoe. Pick Me-Up.