Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-04-25
LEFT HIM TO HIS STEW.


The above story was related by an officer of
the company few evenings ago. and its truth
is testified to by number of witnesses to the
scene. G. E. X.
PLANS FOR SAVING MONEY.
Some Club Men Suggest q Few Useful
Schemes of Economy.
ssT HAVE A LITTLE PLAN OF MY OWN
Il invention for keeping in funds" said
Poopkins at the Platypus Club last evening.
MY misfortune is that am an hereditary
spendthrift. To save my life can't keep dol
lar in my pocket. Some persons have been
charitable enough to imagine that my failing
was merely an exuberant gerosity but 1 know
very well that it consists simply in desire to
spend. have known a good many men in nv
time who were accounted generous by their
friends, although their virtue amounted to
nothing more than carelessness in expenditure.
Furthermore, as rule, they were selfish men.
You will find dozen fellows who are lavish in
squandering wealth upon others who could
never be induced to give dollar away. To
spend is with them luxury, particularly SO
long as they do not have to earn the cash they
distribute. So you see that don't account my
spendthrift inclination a virtue; quite the con-
trary, in fact. However, have lighted upon
scheme that is useful to some extent for avoid
ing the pennilessness which would
otherwise overtake me toward the end
of every week. Each Saturday I
reduce fve-dollar bill to change
in small silver. Upon reaching home and be-
fore going out again l scatter the coins all over
the room with as much carelessness as possible.
Following the invariabls manner of coins I'M
der such circumstances they conceal them
selves under the bed and beneath the various
articles OF furniture. permit them to remain
ungathered. knowing that they safe. be-
cause my landlady herself, whose honesty is
absolute, attends to my apartment and she
never disturbs anything unless it is necessary.
Toward the end of the week my funds are sure
to run low and then begin to look about for
stray riches. That is apt to be about Wednes-
day morning. though it may be as early as
Tuesday afternoon. A dollar or two satisfies
my immediate needs aud the next day rake
dollar more from under the bed and the
bureau. By Thursday night am obliged to
resort to moving the washstand, the etagere and
other furniture, and Friday evening usually
finds me turning up the edges of the carpet in
hopes OF discovering stray dime. which almost
invariably reveals itself. as if providentialy to
my anxious search. Saturday is pay day again
and thus l avoid experiencing the pangs of abb
sointe necessity. although the method 1 am
obliged to adopt is troublesome and somewhat
hard on the knees Of my pantaloons."
Il found plan once that beat yours hollow
ana quite without knowing it, remarked
Boobies, who, as every one knows, had the luck
to marry rich girl I'm my bachelor days
suffered from chronic impecuniousness. l
never could keep dollar nor knew where my
money went. Like Poopkins here, 1 would
have FREQUENT spells Of poverty, during which
l would go on regular hunts for accidental
cash. My searches, however, were limited to
my personal clothing When, by lucky chance.
l found quarter or half or even q dime in
an odd corner Of pantaloons waistcoat my
heart was gladdened, and we'll do l remember
what fandango lexecuted when, on one needy
occasion, came across 80 bill starched into
the pocket of O white vest that came home
from the laundry. 1t just enabled me to buy
theater tickets fer myself and the present Mrs.
B., to whom was at that time engaged to be
married. During the period Of my engage
ment,, however, l had a pocket that often
served me with such surprises. 1t
was the right hand one in my
Overcoat and even with my carelessness in
such matters it frequently struck me with
astonishmen: to find in it a silver dollar or two
or sometimes more which had no recollection
Of whatever But had become 30 accustomed
to my own ways in this regard that took the
thing altogether as q matter of course. The
pocket in question often referred to in speak
ing to the present Mrs. b. as my magic pocket
resembling the famous bag belonging to the
old lady in the Swiss Family Robinson which
was always ready to disgorge anything that did
not grow already upon the Robinson Island
even though it were house with a mansard roof
or a sewing machine. 1 told her that somehow
when was really hard up this pocket always
PANIED out some coins that l must have put
into it carelessly when l was flush, even to the
amount OF several dollars. 1t positively seemed
to me. said. as if some providence were at
work, for l had no recollection of placing the
money there. In fact the mystery OF the magic
pocket remained mystery to me until six
months after l was married. An old clothes
man came around and asked if we had
any garments to sell. My wife suggested nv
old Overcoat. but reminded her that 1 had an
affection for it, because it contained my magic
pocket. When l mentioned it she turned q
quizzical look on me and said: My DEAR is it
possible that you never knew that contrib
uted to that pocket! No; am well aware that
you did not. you careless boy; but knew that
you were hard up, and dropped few silver
dollars into your overcoat from time to time
knowing that you would never suspect it, Now.
II is rather frank for me to tell you fellows a
story OF that sort; but think it is very pretty
one, and assure you, upon my honor, that
until the day she told me never dreamed that
the present Mrs. b. was responsible for my
small accessions Of fortune
such an opportunity as that for saving
wealth has never been granted to me-" said the
always sarcastic Sniffkins: but devised plan
recently for boarding 800 bill which struck
me as rather ingenious. My brother Jim and
myself were both going away from town for
vacation about month ago We divided the
800 bill in question, which was a sum apart
from other funds between us. II we had each
taken $50 We should have spent the amount,
every cent Of it, between u.s. for we share, like
Boobies and Poopkins. spendthrift inclina-
ton; 30, instead of doing that, cut the one
hundred dollar note in two with pair Of scis-
sors; he took one half and retained the other
Neither of us was able to negotiate his half Of
the document, and thus, when we rejoined
each other in Washington last week, we had
our 800 intact. The plan would have worked
admirably in every respect had we not each Of
US run somewhat more than $50 in debt on
the strength Of the saving"
Those schemes may all be well enough"
broke in Snoopsby, in his piping voice, "but
the best plan OF the kind that ever heard of
was that Of a man was told about who dropped
his salary every Saturday night. addressed to
HIMSELF into the post Office, SO that he got it on
Monday morning and was able to congratulate
himself upon his superior strength of mind and
forethought. John, ask these gentlemen what
they will have to drink"
Why the Price Remains the Same.
From Judge.
.SssdkAa.-S&H1,,-