The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-02-19
WIT AND HUMOR.


it for him. MJiUaukee Sentinel.
Then what reason have you for
marrying?' I've no reason ut all.
I'm in love. y Philadelphia Times.
In some churches preacher is called
a rector, but all the world over n
school-teacher is a corrector. RIMS
Horn.
When there is no hawk flying around
the biggest thing in the barnyard is the
strut of the smallest rooster.--4tchts0n
Gi05e.
OF every million people in the world
800 are blind. and the other 999 200
cannot see their own faults OIL city
Blizzard.
Speaking of hylropathic cures it
strikes lis that wel-water ought to be
good for sick people Btnghanaton Re
publican.
St. Agedore-s'I think Miss Maze is
a perfect poem" De Mascus-'I know
it. At least she's a-verse 10 me. st.
Joseph NetcS.
1t is the man that never advertises
who discovers that he gets more dust
on his goods than in his cash drawer
lOn6erS Statesman.
If YOU want to be Il specialist, be
rather Il dentist than IN artist, for man
has thirty-two teeth and only two ears.
-Fhegende Biatter.
The ghost shirt is all right us relic,
but there is no denying that war paint
is the most popular Sioux veneer
Omaha World Hcraid.
do YOU know" she remarked ''you
remind me of 1890" ''Why?n BE
cause it was midnight before it went
out. = Washington Post.
My adored Emma. if you will not
listen to me | shall shoot myself" 20,
but suppose you should hit some one
else!'-Fhege,lde Btdtter.
Boggs- Hicks seems to be Il we'll
informed man. Foggs-''Yes, his wife
is secretary of the Home Missionary
SocietyE'-N I. Herald.
It's bad idea to lock the stable door
after the horse is stolen. What if the
thief should repent and bring back the
horse?-BinghanatOn Leader.
Charlie" his mother cried, sharply,
"what are you doing in the pantrv?"
Nothing - only filling Il lopg-felt
want. NtttoaHbee Sentinel.
1t is strange how man will himself
| admit that he is a fool. yet if any one
| else tells him so he will get hopping
mad right away.-B0ston Herald.
The people who use religion as
| cloak will not need anything rs heavy
as cloak to keen them warm in the
next world. IOHk3rS Statesman.
Many men who pray loud and long
| in church have wives who are afraid to
| look up and who are never known to
| talk above isper.-AtchtSOR Globe.
Say TO the average man that there
| is new sensation in town, and the
| thought will flash across her mind that
| he has been found out at last. -AtcbiSOn
| Globe.
"Why do you call these cigars Flora
| Debutante?n Because they cost like
the mischief and are all the time going
out" said paterfamilias ruelully.-N.
| Y. San.
Yes, he dresses in correct enough
| taste. but his manners are Just outrage
! GUS" There no anomaly about that.
| You see, his clothes are made by his
| tailor. "-L!d5auap0ltS Journal.
What shall we do with our chill
dren?" asks Boston author. In going
TO lease house or to rent apartments,
leave them at home and pretend YOU
! haven't aBy.-Phjtadeiphia Ledger.
Did You ever read Walt Whtman's
Leaves of Grass?" said Serbs
Yes" replied Scrubs. How did it
strike you?' ''As if somebody ought
to run a lawn-mower over it, Hash
nigtaa Post.
| Carlisle Smith-"How about that tin
plate plant that you were going to erect
is it prospering?" Mckinley Jones
NO. The plant was unfortunately
nipped by the late financial frost. =
| n. I. Herald.
Hc-'1 hear you attend the Oratorio
Societys performances. Were you
present at the 'Creation'?' She (in-
dignantly)- suppose that YOU will
next want to know if | sailed in Noah
| ark. "-Anlt7tcdn.
1t may be all right in scholastic
point of view to reduce the collegiate
course at Harvard to three years, but
how can they expect to make a stroke
oar or football rusher in that space Of
timer Boston Transcript
| Pedanticus-''I mean to so live that
when | die all the great cities of the
earth will quarrel over the question Of
which was my birthplace - Wittcus
Yes, each one will lay the blame on
some other. lhilaGaukee Sentinel.
Il know that Kath is Il rough, un-
| cultivated person. and vet it always
| seems to me rs if she had the capacity
for something better and finer She
is short-sighted. and then she is ner-
vous, and has many faults. Fiegellde
Batter
What did you break the window
| for?" asked the court. Il didn't in
tend to do it, your Honor. Ask the
| policeman if | did" No sir.n COR
roborated the officer; she was throwing
| the brick at his wife. Philadelphia
| Times.
Chorus of Boston Girls-"Tell us all
about your new frocks, Pallas.n Pallas
| with dignity)-''.All | can say of
tHeiii' Young i'tilc>, cin uc adequatelN
/ expressed in few words They are
beyond the range of vision. ~. J..
/ Herald.
1t is to be hoped. in the interests OF
| harmony, that the Decatur, H..
! young woman whose nose was patched
4 up with the ribs of Il cat may never
meet the NV York boy lately repaired
from the leg OF II Indianapolis
/ journal.
Upon what do You base YOUR asser-
ton that the Hesingburvs are not peo-
pie of refinement?1 WHY. we have
just engaged waitress highly recon-
mended by them. and she actually sets
the table with teaspoons for the peas"
-Harper's Bazar.
Daggett-'I should think you'd be
! ashamed to talk To Il miaister that wayl