River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-15
PITH AND POINT.

However great some mems abili-
ties are, their liabilities are always
greater.
"A friend in need is a friend who
generally strikes you for a quarter
Texas Siftings.
The spring Of several years ago is
usually the one referred TO in connec-
ton with ''spring chicken"
1t is the chickens counted before
they are Matched that always come
home to roost-Galveston News.
"A young man sometimes speaks of
his finances when really he hasn't a
single one of them. News.
Mock turtle soup made from calf
meat is much more palatable than real
turtle soup made from beef liver.-N.
Y. Recorder.
1t is pastime when one misses the
train, although it may be difficult to
determine where the fun comes in
Lowell Courier.
Properly speaking, it is in the fall
of the year that good resolutions should
be made, as it is then that the leaves
begin to turn. baltimore American.
On the gravestone of western wo-
man who died recently has appeared
her picture. If it is like the general
run of epitaphs it must flatter her.
Boston News
Out of Town. -Biggs-''Well, Har-
ris, how're your folks in the country?"
Harris-"O, they're all right-they've
sent for donkey" Biggs-''Are you
BROOKLYN EARLE.
~ never could understand why
people think so much of the dogs IN
stinct in attaching himself to man."
III uttered the tramp as he flashed down
the road Baltimore American.
"A Narrow Escape. Charlie was
nearly drowned in the surf this morn
ing" "How? Undertow? ''No.
He got his ears full of sand and they
pulled his head under."-Jonahville
jag.
"A Question of Altitude. -Giggles-
81 call a pearl necklace high art in per-
sonal adornment. Goggles Then |
suppose a diamond tiara is higher art
in personal adornment. Jewellers
| Weekly.
Vice Versa. "Kuldy. old boy, do
you dictate much to your pretty type
writer nowadays?" ''Dictate to her?
That little red-headed thing over there?
No, sir! She dictates to me. Wash
ington Post
Heavy Tragedian Ito manager of
transforming combination)-"And is
this miserable pittance all I'm to get
TO sustain life?" ''Oh no. From time
49,, 49,, Tho ,,rer,
that will be thrown at you"
Judging from the close proximity
of the faces of a pair of lovers in an
out-of-the-way corner of the hotel piaz-
"a, one may believe that love, if not
blind, is at least very nearsighted. -
Boston Transcript.
Jack Dashing-''It's all settled.
We are to fight duel for you. But
will you marry the one who is not
wounded?" Penelope - mo, indeed.
I'll marry the one who is wounded,
though. if he is wounded mortality
n. V Herald.
Improving Nature. Char
ley," ] said as l took the three-year-old
up on my knee. where's your moth
err" upstairs in her room" what
is she doing?" 'FriZzing and lIinking
up her hair" "And where's the grip
(Which one-Dinah?" Yes" "Oh,
she's upstairs in her own room"
"Well, what is she doing?" "Oh. she's
trying to get the kinks and frizzes out
of her hair" And so we go.-Phlladel-
phia Press.
They were sitting very close to-
gether in Forest park, twoyoung ladies
out for an airing. The weather was
evidently not the subject of their con-
versation, for one of them said: Hes
Just the dearest, incest fellow in the
world, and / do love him So" 'Yes,
Jennie, dear, but l understand he
winks. / don't know whether | could
trust man who did that ?" "Well, |
don't know, dear. The only men |
ever saw who didn't wink were either
stone blind or stone dead. st. Louis
Republic,