The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-09
BRIGHT BITS.

HE-Would you object TO my smoking'
She-Certainly not, il you don't object to
being fired.-Mmnsey's Weekly.
$50 she's going to lecture on how to manage
a husband. is she? How many husbands has
she had hersef?'
why, she's never been married. r-NeaD York
Press. - ~ 5If
ToMMY-Paw, what is holdover senator?
Mr.. F1gg-The qualifications of a follower
senator vary in different states. In Kentucky
he is expected to hold over half a gallon with
out staggering. -iadidndpol Journal.
A BOY was telling of man generally known
as "Bill, - who was employed at his fathers
house. His name is not Bill" the boy said;
Il made up that name and gave it to him. His
real name is William. '-AtchiSOH Globe.
BIRDIE MoGINNIs--I supposed Cupid aimed
one of his arrows at you at the ball last night.
Gus de Smith-Aimed one of his arrows at
me? Why, was hit so often by the shafts of
the little god that my heart must look like
pin-cushion stuck full of needles and pins
TEXAS SittinGs.
ing about Miss Beauty. She hasn't been in love
with you, after all. She's been after the money
she thought you would inherit from me.
Nephew-Impossiblel Why do you think so?
Rich Uncle-I have proposed to her myself
and been accepted.-Neto York Weekly
STuDENr-Wew want badges for our gra 1uating
class We have adopted as design graduate
surveying the universe.
Jeweler-About how large would you like the
figures?
Student-I think the graduate should cover
about three-fourths of the badge and the uni
verse the remainder, -JeIoelers' Weekly,
A SICK Indiana woman longed so much for
quail the other day that several of the tooth
some birds dashed themselves to death against
her house fer her accommodation. Chicago in
valids who long for Strawberries need not, how
ever. expect that the luscious fruit will come to
them in a similar manner. Strawberries come
n Mt
basket.-Chtcugo Times.
DooDLEs-Just had a tremendous piece of
luck.
Noodles-How?
Doodles-Why, met Snyder, and he struck
me for 81.
NoodleS-Well?
Doodles-We hadn't cent. Say, can you
lend me S.?
Noodles-No; I'm in the same good luck
HGrper's BdsGr.
AT reception in Boston. Hostess-Mr.
Smith, allow me to present you to Miss Corn
| field Of Chicago, emphasizing Chicaeol.
Mr.. Smith-Delighted to meet you, Miss Corn
| field: Our hostess emphasis of your city re-
| minds me of Mr.. Potter Of Texas and Mr..
| Barnes of New York.
MISS Cornfleld-Indeed haven't the plea
sure of the acquaintance of either gentleman
| Boston tGturddy Gazette.
Doctor Un.l Cold no betters Strange. Been
| taking cod liver oil? That's right. Been wear
ing medium underclothng?
Patient-Well, yes; that is, had very light
suit and a very heavy one.
Doctor-Don't mean to tell me youvee been
| wearing one and then the another?
| Patient-Yes. | thought they would average
| up all right.-ClOthier and FtG, niSher.
| o, HARSH is the song that is borne DER the
country
In cultural notes on the balmy spring breeze,
Accompanied by blasts on the red nasal trum
pet,
Each sharp is a cough and each fat is ae
sneeZe;
| The parts are all bass, matters not who's the
singer,
The articulation distorts the swelled lip;
With ids, ugs and abs is the harmony laden
For the song of the spring is the song of the
grip. Buffalo Express