davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mordling-That girl in the candy
store may be only a poor shop-girl, but
she's Il true IN
FaXon-Im convinced of it, me boy!
Why only the other day ] got her to
break II dollar for me, and she handed
back one dollar and seventeen cents in
chanpr.-puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Goodman-It's a shame he treated you
SO; but you should heap Goals of fire on
his head.
Furniss-With coal at the present
price? Not much-I'm not SO fond of
revenge.-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
No Doubt About 1t.

$50 Jack is married, eh? Do you
think he'll get along well with his
wife?"
81 am quite sure he will. They sang
in the same choir for two years with
out quarreling Jury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A NnrrnN Escnnn-

"Chollie was nearly drowned in the
surf this morning."
"How? undertow?"
mo. He got his ears full Of sand
and they pulled his head under."-N.
Y. Sun.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Don't ,Iudne Inv Annparauces,

Mrs. Freshly-You just move on out
of this. We don't feed any Migrants
here.
Old Skinfiint (grimly)|I guess you'll
help to feed me-. I'm the owner of these
places hereaboutS; and as my agents
sick this month I'm gathering i'll my
own rpntS.-puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
HnInhln Ennmwh.

Mrs. Gadby-Mrs. Henry Peck has her
husband in complete subsection.
Mrs. Clattcr-From what do you
judge?
Mrs. Gadby-I asked him 4 question
the other night, and he turned to her
und said: Let me thinlI."-pucl5.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Tom ia rivaD-lieing a clergyman,
you have better opportunities than most
bachelors to find Out the good and bad
qualities of the young ladies in your
congregation.
Rev. Whitctic-IIow So?
Tom-Iou at least have n chance to
discover which of the girls snorc.-Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Personal Sermon,

May-So Rev. Mr.. Thirdly was pro-
posing to You, was he?
Bellc-Oh, no; he was just preaching
4 personal sermon.
May-Indeed! What was his text?
Belle-Gen. ii, 1S-'It is not good for
man to be alonc."-N. y. Herald.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

The Santa Fe will sell excursion tick
els on Oct. ; 10 10 inclusive. ut one fare
iand 80 cents for admission for the
round trip. Limit for return To and in
GLIDING Oct. II. Tickets To he good for
continuous passage each direction.
JOIN TAUBMAN, Agent.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
4 Horrible Example.

Foggs-It is said that a man once adj
dicted to Il vice can never really give it
W.
Trotter-I believe it, too. know a
gambler who is reformed, but every day
he plays solitaire and bets with himself
that he'll ~win.-EpOch.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Mutual sympathy.

Lawycr-IU sorry for you, Mr.. Short,
but Snipps the tailor has put his account
against you into my hands for collection.
Short-And you are going to try to
collect it, ell? We'll, I'm sorry for you.
-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Where They Go.

"NYhat becomes of men who steal?"
asked Il Philadelphia Sunday-school
teacher of Il sharp little boy.
"They go to Canada"
"No, little boy, that is not the right
answer. They ultimately go to the
wicked place"
sob, yes; you mean Chicago."-Texas
SiftinGS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
No Oral Credit Given.

Rising Young Orator. intend to try
to learn to speak in italics, us j 'stin
Mccarthy says Gladstone does.
knowing Layman-What You need
most is to learn to speak in quotation
marks .-Judgc.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
New York Uaudicanped.

B~ostOnian-I see the Grant monument
isn't up yet. Such Il lack of public
spirit is ~disgraceful. Why don't you
hold a town meeting and raise the
funds?
New YOrker-It is not a lack of pub
lie spirit that prevents us.
"Then what is it"'
'We don't know n another's lam
guage."-N. y. Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"'Mandy, you're the purtiest gal in
the country. Why don't you bang your
hair an set the rest OF the gals jes'
crazy?"
cause faint no use, Tom; my hair
won't stay 6ung"-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Musical Note,

Ethel-What would you advise me to
do with my voice?
Maud shouldn't spend much on it
just now; when the mar comes around
you might have it tuned.-Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Roy, are y"a catching any fish over
there
Nope"
"GcttinG any bitcs?."
Nope"
isn't it Il hot place."
yep"
Cant you find better places further
down?"
yep"
Then what are you wasting your
time there fore"
See that sign? 'No trcspassin' al
lowed?' Coin t" fish here all day. by
gum, if ] don't get Il nibble!"-Chicago
Tribune.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
\ Good Fellow.

"You know Bill Slavery, don't you?"
eyes, | know him"
Good fellow, isn't he?"
Maybe so; but there is more fellow
than there is good about him."-TeXas
S;ftinuS
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Grandfather Ito his little GRANDSON
How many prizes did you get this year?
zone less than last"
"And how many did you get last
year,"
..One."-JurY.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Went TbrouOb.

Wife-Why, how on earth did you get
those holes in your trousers?
Husband-I must have sat down on
some Of your bread crumbs.-Clothier
and Furnisher.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Fully Prepared.

Miss Bashfield-Josephine said she
had her mind made up to capture Mr..
Goldfeld tonight.
Fred-She had? Well, to all appear
ances she had the rest Of herself made
upfor the same purpose.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

charles Lamb made some famous
ems and, according to the London
18th his mantle seems ID have fallen
IN his n~amesake, Mr.. Charles Lamb
Kenney. mon,,oned
was dining at the house OF a friend, ana
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mrs. Hcyday Ito orchestra leader at
summer hotcD-What vas that long,
dreary thing you just played?
Leader-Dot vas vrom Vogner.
Mrs. Heyday-It was not beautiful at
all.
Leader-Id vas nod indended to be-
Life,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Two Rows.

Little Daughter-Oh, mamma, didn't
you say Dick mustn't go with that neigh
boris boy!
Mamma-Indeed did.
"Well. he's with him behind the barn
smoking cigarettes"
Horrors! Is that dirty faced boy
teaching Dick to smoke cigarettes?"
News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
a Change of Base.
II NIH"E1bO vi HS"oCs
~

''What do you think of SMITH"
81 think he is u very bright fellow"
"Well, you know he doesn't speak well
of you."
"What do you suppose | care what an
ass like Smith thinks of me?"-Harper's
Bazaar.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Asking Too Much.

Persistent Suitor-May, | love you so
much that will do anything for you TO
make you happy.
May worn ont entircly)-Wil you?
Then marry some other girl.-once a
Week.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Moro Likely.

Mrs. Snooper (reading)-The longest
word in the Winuebago language is
Observation-Disclosures II
means: 81 Will give you a horse"
Snooper-lt is more likely to give one
the loclSiaw.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"Why don't you come in?" said his
wife moclingly from the second-story
window as he fumbled in his pocket for
his latch key.
II haven't got openers" he replied
sadly.-Jury.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Boarder-Didn't You state in your an
nounccment that there were no mosqui.
toes here?
Earmer-Nes. but ] wrote that in the
winter timr.-Jndrc.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

'Don't let Bronson write my obitu-
ary," said the dying man.
"Why not?" asked the editor.
Observation-Disclosures, gasped
the othcr.-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

face like the shadow OF Il cloud chasing
the sunshine across a field of red clover
blossoms, lin that ease coal would go
up, of course, with all the other ncces-
sarics of lifc."-Chicago Tribune.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Diplomatic Answer.

Wouldn't it be lovely if u plate of
ice cream should come right up through
the fioor?" said Maud.
NO" returned Charles. ~ should
hate to have 4 GOODNESS spring up be-
tween us."-IIarper's Bazaar.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Pertinent Innort,nepc..

Waldemar-Has your fortune ever
been told?
Aurclia-No, but papa will tell you if
you have really serious Intentions
Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Married for Spite.

he-Why did n young man like him
larry that elderly woman?
He-To get even with her daughter
for being a sister to him.-Kate Fields
Washington.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
I'Orethourht,

'Our names are written in pencil in
this marriage ccrtilicatc," said Waldo
Higgins, of Boston, to his.Chicago bride.
YES" she said, that's Il Chicago
custom. They are easier to rub out
Enn.h
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
. he Best WEAPON.

She-It's Indians! Run for the guns!
He-No; I'll fetch some cakes of soap.
We can drive them away with those
Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mrs. De Style first day on n FARM
Horrors! Our host is going to eat din
ner in his shirt sleeves.
Mr.. De Style (mopping his forehead)
Thank Heaven! Then | can, too
n, Y. Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mr.. Jones-So you have been off on a
bridal tour to Canada and Niagara
Falls. What did you see that pleased
you most while you were away, Mrs.
Spoony?
Mrs. Spoony (modestly) My hus-
band.-TeXaS Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Gentleman never had such u per-
feet polish on these boots as you have
given them.
Western Hotel Porter (modestly)-I
used to be q private soldier in the regu-
lar army.-N. Y. Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

F~ather-But how will this young the
ologian be able to support you if he
doesn't get Il charge?
Daughter-Why, pa, he's an expert
enced summer-hotel waiter.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
a Waste of Raw Material.

Othello-The death of Miss Stajeleva-
tor vas very widely discussed in the
newspapers.
Iago-Yes; it's n great pity she isn't
alive, to profit by the ADVERTISING
Puck.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
He Was Correct.

BurleighI tell you, it costs n man to
dress his wife well these days.
Tubbs-Yes, dress goods are high, cs-
pecially on the shoulders.-TeXas Sift-
inpS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Miss ~lIirsutc lin drug store)-l Have
you anything for the complexion?
Druggist-Yes, madam. james, bring
out the razorS.-Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Not So Well Seasoned.

Goodman-llow is it, Lusher, that
you can't manage to keep sober?
Lushcr-Dou't know. | gueSh (hicl |
can't stand : much liquor as you can.
-Munscy's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
4 Comparison

Jack-Your hands are awfully small,
Laura.
Laura-Are they?
Jack-Yes; they're almost as small as
the hands l hold at poker.-Munsey's
Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Agreeable.

Boston Hostess-How would you en-
Joy spending the evening at our Burns
club, Mr.. Overland?
Western Guest-First-rate. / used to
belong to n fire company myself.-Good
News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
So Did He,

She ION their wedding trip)-What is
the whistle blowing for, Fred?
Fred-We are approaching either a
station or n tunnel.
Shell hope it is n tunnel.-Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
The way nd nnppened.

Ethel-MamIna aud ! were attacked
by the tramp, and ! threw u stone and
knocked him fiat.
Maud-How did you ever come to hit
him with it?
Ethel fired at mamma.-Harper's
Razar
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
To What Strange Use!

Crownson-People in New York waste
water terribly.
Col. Gore (of Louisville)-Yes, I'm
told they drink a good deal of it.-Mun-
sry's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A suggestion to Inventors.

"Dear, the baby's crying. Get up and
warm the milk"
II wish the baby were like the
stove"
"How do you mean?"
"a self-feeder. "@Epoch.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
NnIiI.n

4NUTTVVs
Notice is hereby given that | have this
day revoked all authority given MessrS.
Il, Winsor Y Son to act rs my agent for
the rent or sale Of property
THOMAS ~. STRAMCKE.
October 2, 1891. l0-3-1t
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Cousin Mary-But do you think you
Il place any dependence in Harry
when he tells you he loves you?
Kate-Oh, yes, indeed. He has told
me so many things that l know are
true that | can't doubt his word, you
know.
Mary-As for example?
Kate-Well, he told me, among other
things, that | was awfully good looking
II that | was ever SO much better than
the rest of the girls.-I5oston Tran
script.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Frank Kriehn is going To keep Il first
class line of ladies', misses and childrcn's
shoes, at prices never heard of before IL
Lexington. 9-12-tf
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

American lIeiress-lNho is that at the
door?
Maid-Only u marquis, mum.-Good
News.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
She Meant It, Too.

"This is the woman's age;'' remarked
Mr.. Bisbee to his wife, as he read an
advanced paragraph in the evening
paper.
Say woman's era, Mr.. Bisbee," sug-
gested his wife.
/ And why, my dear?'
Because no woman likes to have her
age commented on" was the consistent
answer.-Detroit Free Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Forty acre farm near Warsaw, Mo- I"'
LAFAYETTE county property, real ar person
al. \ bargain. Il. -. IT iN>
9-lg-t3 ~iH\lhG''''' -'
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Proy,rb Practically tnplicd.

Father-It is the early bird that
catches the worm.
Johnny-That's SO; but it is the little
birds that stay ut home sleeping in the
nest that gets the worm to eat
Harper'S BaZar.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Tears Flowed Like Water.

Footlytes-How did the new actress
succeed? Were there any tears in the
pathetic scene?
Derant-Yes-she cried bscause u man
in the gallery hit her with a turnip.-
Light.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"Chicago is trying to eclipse all pre-
vious performances III the line of di-
vorces."
Indeed"
Eyes. Mayor Washburne is deter,
mined to divorce the police department
from politics. "-Munscy's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
" antrd to Trade.

A piano for II good fresh COW. Apply at
this Office. 9-l9-u
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"IVhy is it that there is more banking
business done in the north than in the
south?"
.Nearer Canada."-JurY.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

"My baby had u fearfully narrow es-
cape yesterday"
How so?"
SPY mistake my wife left the poor
little fellow alone with the n~urse-girl."
Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Shoes, shoes, shoes ut +. Kriehn's on
Franklin avenue. Go and see them, very
cheap for cash. 9-l2-ti
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
A Living

She-Why should he go around say
ing marriage is Il failure? He never
tried it.
He - Never mind, he's got good
grounds for thinking so. His own ex-
istence proves it.-Jury,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
At the Political Meeting.
Cause and Effect

"a rafting good speaker, isn't hep
"ies-he rattles, and that's about all
he can do."-Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Young Anser-No wonder it's hot;
the thermometers ninety in the shade!
Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
IN A PECK OF TROUBLE.

what are you crying about, my little
mani"
Jimmy O'Brien licked me first, an
then father licked me for letting jim
my lick me, an then Jimmy licked inc
for telling father, an now suppose 1
shall catch il again from father Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Not n w,ste az TI,ne.

Mrs. Hardtack-That AK is plenty
sharp enough to cut wood with without
grindin' it any more.
Hungry Higgins-Maddim, l lnowr
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

See that half-arc Ct purple and yell
low light swinging in he darkness?
That's her new engagement ring, and
she's waving her arms for us to notice
il, "-Ju1pe.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
SuarkIint. wit

81 wish l were like champagne" he
sighed.
"Ah," she qucried.
"Yes," he continued. 1T sparkles
So"
And it pops sometimes" she unused
softly, but he was too stupid for any
use.-Detroit Free Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
Looking

Western Magistrate Tou are
charged, sir, with killing six of IL old
est and most respected citizens. What
have you To say.
Prisoncr-lhcy were all of en- rich
old penny grabbcrs wot vas lcavin' the
best buillin' sites in town lie idle, wait
in fer Il higher price.
"Wcll"'
"Wcll, yer honor, | belong to the
village Improvement socicty."-N. Y.
Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Col. Ycrgcr-So You are back from
Saratoga already:
Judge pctcrby-Nrs, and what do you
suppose ! found the day after | got
there?
Ycrgcr-A pocketbooll full of money?
Peterby-I found out hat it costs Il
mint of money to stay there, SO | came
home on the next train.-TcXas Siftings.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

For a hanged mamie took q drop
too much.
For a lawyer-lIic jacet.
For a grave digger-lIe has got in his
work.
For Il watchmaker-Run down.
For u shoemaker-Rest his sole
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

Mrs. Hardtack-Then why are you
wastin' time sharpenin' it, eh?
Hungry Higgins-Because, maddim, l
wish to cit thatelegant section of home,
made pie you SO graciously gave me-
Munsey's Weekly.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
AN UNPLEASANT SIGHT.
Appropriate Epitaphs.

"Come on, Billy, don't let's look at
his nibs. 1t makes me think Of der
last time / was sent up."-Life.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10
4 DISCOVERY.

Mrs. Mulcahey--Shure, an phwat's
that?
Mr.. Mulcahey-That's one o. thin
thorty-six bHtton kids you hear thin
talking about.-Pucll.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

THAT'S Miss Young down there with
her tiance."
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

- Judge.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1891-10-10

this office.
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-11
DID NOT SUCCEED.
J. E. Durkee Attempts to Commit
Suicide.


Just before noon there was quite an
excitement at the Nadeau. 1t was
noised around that J. E. Durkee had
attempted to commit suicide. Fortu-
nately, Mr.. Durkee did not make sue
cess of his venture. He was noticed
in the act of cutting his throat by one
of the housemaids. She gave the
alarm and H. w. Chase rushed into the
room in time to prevent Durkee from
doing further damage to himself An
examination showed that Durkee had
made cash in his throat and which is
not at all dangerous.
The act was done while Durkee was
suffering from nervous ,prostration, in
duced by overwork and worry. Durkee
is a cattle and mining man. He has
large interests in Arizona and also has
a ranch in this county. Recently he
bought some Standard stock, paying big
prices for the same.
DR.. Wise, who attended Durkee, SAYS
that he is all right, and that the rash
act was superinduced by overwork.
Durkee paid off all his men last even
ing, and went down to the ranch for a
needed rest. Mr.. Durkee is we'll known
both here and in Arizona, and has many
friends who will regret to hear of his
attempted suicide.
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-11
ALL ABOUT A CANE.
Pretty Miss Seller Chopped Up He
EMPLOYERS Stick,

Pretty Miss Seller Chopped Up Her
Employers Stick.
Miss Seller is charming young ladv
who has great powers of fascination.
Besides, however, Miss Seller has also a
highly nervous temperament, which
shows itself, especially in an exaggerate d
fear of burglars.
She has recently read and reread that
fascinating gem OF Robert Louis Steven
son, The Dynamiter, and with all
the ardor OF a messenger boy has en-
tered into the spirit OF the story. So
her mind was in an agitated condition.
The other night her employer, for
Miss Seller is one of the attractions at
one of the Spring street stores-her
employer, who is dignified old gentle
man of benevolent mien and silvery
hair, called at the Sellers, but found
only the young lady at home. He re-
manned but a short while, and upon
leaving, forgot his walking stick.
Her visitor gone, Miss Sellers mind
began to dwell on burglars and dyna-
mite. She became nervous. She heard
strange noises which did not exist.
Eventually, like the conventional old
maid, although Miss Seller is ANYTHING
but an old maid, she took candle and
looked over the house for a man. She
found not man, but = -, oh, horrors,
= =, in the front hallway lay a
bludgeon
"a burglar left it here" she solilo-
quized.
She gathered her presence of mind,
and picked up the stick.
AS she did so, it ratified.
That ratified her, and she dropped the
cane with sob. Dynamite Dyna-
mite |" she exclaimed, as she leaned
against the door-jamb for support.
Any reasoning human being could not
conjure up an explanation why bur-
glar should leave stick loaded with
dynamite in citizens hallway. Yet
such was the opinion of Miss Seller, and
when she had recovered from her first
fright, she bravely picked up the cane
and carried it out to the kitchen.
The next morning she found the in
truding cane in the corner of the kitchen
where her mother had stood it. Miss
Seller told her mother of her horrible
suspicious.
Then the two women took the stick
into the backyard and - -
chopped it to pieces with an ak.
A piece of loose steel was in the in
side.
Yesterday Miss Sellers employer was
walking restlessly through his place of
business.
Wonder where left my stick" said
he. "Had it the other night Left it
some place where / calledI"
Miss Seller blushed red as red, red
rose. She said naught.