Morning journal and courier., 1891-02-03

Visitor-Do you like going to school, my little man! Little man-Yes'm, 1 like go- in, but don't like stayin'.-Good News.
 Accounting Trustee-Figures can't lie, you know, sir Disappointed Beneficiary No, but liars can figure. - Texas Sift- ings.
 Exasperated property owner (to organ grinder)- )-Whatll you take to clear outi Organ grinder (cooly)-Me takka me time. Epoch.
 "Do hogs pays'' innocently inquiries an agricultural editor. And an ink-stained country editor stops wrestling with his hand press long enough to say that he has some on his subscription books that shain't paid a cent in five years. Monte yuma (Ga.) Record.
 "Father, what is luxuryi" asked little Johnny the other night. "A luxury! Why, it is something we don't really need, you know-a thing we can do without. !" ssWell. then" replied the logical youth, "what a luxury a mosquito net must be in winter!"-Rochester Talisman.
 A Presque Isle lady who advertised for girl to do light housework received a let ter from a girl in one of the neighboring towns who said her health was not very good, and that she thought she needed sea air, and inquired where the lighthouse was situated-Augusta (Me.) Journal.
 Among the farms advertised in Austra- lia is one (which is situated only IT miles from postofice, 12S miles from rail road: and one who has means could, no doubt, build church and schoolhouse on his own land, and thus add to the value of the property. ."-Detroit Free Press.
 went into drug store yesterday to get 8 bottle of cough mixture and met fellow named Wanger, who said ahe used to go to school with you. He impressed me as be- ing the biggest fool I ever saw. Indeed! What made you think soa He was buying bottle of the same cough mixture was -Harper's Bazar.
 Robber (to bank teller)-Fm Bloody Jim, tn Rip Roarin' Shorter of tn Rockies. Hand over that there cash. Bank teller (mechanically)-I have no doubt personal ly, sir, that you are Bloody Jim, the Rip Roaring Shorter of the Rockies; but, sir, you will have to get somebody to identify you-Good News.
 ssWhat is the matter, Harry? Are you never going to get through shaving, this morning?" '1 don't know, child. don't know what to do. went and got me some of the new beard pomade, and it works so that before I can get through shaving the second cheek the beard has already begun to show again on the other. ."-Fhegende Blaetter
 Little Boy-Mamma, may I give what's in my savings bank to that beggar man! Mamma-You dear, sweet little cherub. Do you want to give away all that money your uncle gave you, There was over a dollar. spent some of it, mamma. Did you? How much is there left! There's a twenty five cent piece left, but the candy man said it was bad.-New York Weekly, Sitting upon hotel piazza, Judge Eir- gin was asked by member of the Oxford county bar regarding the legal qualified tions of a practitioner in another part of Maine. Said he, ''Mr. - might sit in this chair while an elephant and a mouse | pass up the street before his eyes; of the mouse he could tell you the length of the tail, the texture of the coat, and the color of the eye, but it would never occur to Mr. - that he had seen an elephant,"- awis iston ToDrna1