River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-11-26
SMITHS ILLUSION.
It Turned Out. After All, to Be
Charming Reality.

II Turned Out, After All, to Be a
Charming Reality.
Gould l help it, cried Smith. ex-
citedly. DO YOU suppose anybody was
more disguised than I was when /
awolEe one day TO the meaning Of the
fact that was named Smith2 / used
20 get mad and blame my mother for
marrying into my fathers family;
grew mor0se and wrote poetry, but, of
course. ! soon got sick of that Some
how I couldn't make any success at it
all the fault of my name. tell YOU.
If / had been called Byron Macaulay
Smith I might have been n literary
hack. if I had been called Napoleon
Caesar Smith ! would have been one of
the military gentry But, unfortunate
~, / was named Israel"
And. therefore, you are not a lit
erary hack, or one Of the military gen
try" intcrpolated. but "a"
~ dead failure. interrupted the old
tartar in his turn What's the use of
saddling child with such a name as
that2 of course / was Of a rowing turn
of mind regular wandering jew. Let's
see. what's that quotation about Israeli
And the Lord I've forgotten Il after
all-it don't make any difference. any
way have NO relatives. thank Heaven.
except n great aunt, nearly a hundred
toothless. hairless and braiulcss. like
one Of those littl, Chihuahua dogs.
don't You know. / have no home and
! don't want one I'll sooner 90 and
live in an orphan asylum wouldn't
feel such a sense of responsibility about
the small buffers Il i luc1- thing
] never married I'd have had forty or
fifty children. Tm sure Of il. just my
usual 'tarnal luck" continued Israel,
with good deal of asprritv.
hardly knew what to think
Here was old smith. usually i might
say universally most genial Of all
mankind. suddenly imhued with IN in
tense dislike 10 tise marital state rel
atives, iL,self-everything What the
deuce does L all mean Had he been
disappointed in love? That could hard
~ be lsraeIs hair was fast turning
from red 70 gray. aud the ugly scar
which parted his hair in the middle "a
bullet wound received in the Crimeaa
Nvar-rendered him anything but a
beauty-and yet. why not?
In the FIRST lace it was an honest
face-there are few such in the world
David said'in his haste that all men
were liars. but retractel the statement
for some reason-a political ona. per
haps- Then. too. there were few lions
80 dear 10 society a. old Israel smith:
his very oddities. n l. often the case
only served 10 make him appear the
bigger genius. lie had trlve.ed ever
where. especially - the places where
other men hal not been bsfpr him; he
was a bachelor. fabuluuslv rich. was.
despite his eternal scoiia- at literary
hacks. great writer and an enduring
one a. well still. he had managed in
some unknown hut much enyicd way
10 escape female establishments, and
was. at the age of forty-five. unmarried
Yes" sighed my companion. as he
lit his third cigar aud disposed of his
feet upon the railing of the balcony.
where we sat alone together, II am an
unapproprTatcd blessing Its chiefly
the result of my name Due partly.
doubtless. to the fact that I never
sowed any Wild oats. We been told
on reliable authority that girl likes q
man better when he's tough. Just as a
man likes a girl when shes tender and
ingeruous and PlayfuIly innocent. and
all that rot -
The voice Of nav companion relapsed
into silence, and for several moments
we pulled away at our cigars aud said
nothing Ii was a beautiful night
Prom vherc we sat. ON the balcony OF
the Fl Paso club. we could look straight
down the broad Cascade terrace. past
the brilliantly lighted Antlers. and see
IN the distance. rendered strll greater
hv the night haze. the mCjestic Pixies
Peak towering like a giant, strong and
iuperiouS. from its surrounding grOup
of parasitic foothills Nowhere, If not
IN Colorado Springs. can one get "a
sharp contrast To our right was the
scene which have Just portrayed
dreamy. magnificent, u our left. in the
street below, rcsouudei the Crescendo
swish Of the wires above the electric
ear. which dashed hy like miniature
cyclone and was finally lost u hearing
in the distance.
Israel turne4 u me and gaz.d for
moment steadily into my ewes. In the
moonlight his face looked strangely old
and color.esS-
Mae he finally said, with a gesture
uf appeal. ''you won't laugh At me If
tell yau something, viii yola
I shook my head in a decided mega
tive Ny companion. the most nm
Jemoustrative II ala men. rose and
shook nv hand
That's ri-ht. he remarked You
see. Mac. I'M have L. tell somebody or
burst of course wouldn't tell any
body but Won. and 50. learning that You
were here AT the Springs. I came On to
see you
clear from Ne-~ York ! gasped.
Clear from New York. repeated
this most uneNplaiuab'e man, eoolly-
80 Won see that II must have been
something quite important II i i'm
portant- Mac. I have no excuses To
offer, am ashamed of myself. | am
sorry that il has happened, but well.
am in love
jumped IL my feet and fairly
dragged him from his chair into a stand
ing position
You old fraud ! yelled IN nv de
light 80 you have been caught at last
eha Who Is she. do know her? Have
d ever seen herr
4 suppose -. " Croaued smith. as he
withdrew his hand from mine ! am
quite sure OF il. in fact She Is your
wife
leaned against the wall for sup
Povt.
..Nfy WIFE I exclaimed What kind
Of lest l. this2"
I tell Won il was all piece Of my
usual luck. growled Israel. dejeetedly
.'Nou don't suppose did It on purpose,
10 you2 / didn't have the widest idea
that she was your w.fe-didn't know
her from Adams of OK; just saw her
and fell right down at the first blow.
Why. You can appreciate my feelings
for you've been in love with her your
self, haven't yOu?"