Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-09-08
cor EVEN WITH THE BARBER.
The Outcome of Customers Huse 10
Avoid Conversation.
pBilodsIrbia Public Lsd0er.

The Outcome of q Customers Huse 10
Avoid Conversation.
philadelphia Public Ledger.
1t was his third visit to this particular
barber shop. The proprietor knew him
as the deaf man, who, when he was
asked on the first occasion the stereo,
typed question, "Does the razor nurt!
replied ''Ehr' and when it was repeated
In louder tone he looked down at his
immaculate linen and said in astonisn-
ment: "Where did raise that snlrt!
Why, bought it,"
"This fellow is stone deaf" said the
proprietor to his assistant, and proceeded
to shave his customer in silence. just
before combing his hair the barber LOOK
bottle in one hand and pointed IL IN
quiringly with the other hand.
"Well, what's the matter with that
said the deaf man.
bay rum on your harp sAr'eKeu
the barber.
The customer looked around the shop
and said: 81 don't see any bass drum
on a chair"
The barber smothered a chuckle and
remarked, This man is hopeless: "
When the deaf man asked how much,
the barber spread out both hands ike
an amateur ball fielder after ny, 10
indicate that the damage was ten
cents" ~
On his second visit the deaf man fell
into the hands Of the assistant, who ala
notrecognize him. While strapping the
razor he insinua:ingly remarked: "Flne
hux "a
feeler intended to introduce converse
ton, during which the knight OF the
razor would settle all the affairs OF state
By pointing out the weak spots in the
Harrison administration, and then pro-
ceed TO show how they could be RENE
died, as he had done dozen others that
day.
The deaf man replied not, and the as
sistant thought his remark too low"
But he was not to be baked in his at
tempt to drag his customer into con-
troversy. He had dozen devices gained
by long experience at his fingers enus'
"Do you shave close?"
"What?"
"Do you shave cose?" somewhat
louder.
mo, uOl Scll ClOIuCo'
Then the assistant recognized his
victim and told the proprietor, who,
not having anything TO do and being In
q good humor, began making remarks
about the deaf man, TO the amusement
OF the assistant, who was compelled 10
suppress his laughter at the risk OF IN
Turing his customer.
ASK him If he'll have his whiskers
done in papers or his eyebrows banged"
said the proprietor. Look out he don't
swallow the razor or the lather brush.
These deaf men have large appetlteS.
"Ask him If he couldn't find his near
ing when he lost It,"
81 could have him cured. | would
get warrant for him, and any magis-
trate would give him hearing"
All these remarks and many more,
both the proprietor and the assistant
enjoyed.
There was a strange glitter in the
deaf mans eyes and he laid down his ten
cents and departed.
''Pll get square with them" he NUT
tered when he got on the pavement.
The shop was full on his third wise.
1t was busy portion Of the day, and
when he took his seat in one OF the big
chairs goodly number sat around read
ing the papers and talking, awaiting
their turn. As the proprietor was
adjoining the deaf mans face with
lather, the latter shouted, so that all in
the room could hear:
Ibid that man die that was cut here
yesterday"
There was hush among the other
customers, and the proprietor, flushing
up, replied testify:
"There wasn't anybody cut here yes
terday."
II was outside when he was taken to
the patrol wagon and they said he would
probably bleed to death before he got to
the hospital" continued the deaf man,
as loud as before.
1.-THE people said this was regular
slaughter house; that more blood was
shed here than hair, and that the au-
thorities ought to Interfere and close
the place up"
The proprietor gave evidence OF apo
plexy, and the customers began moving
uneasily in their seats. Two grabbed
their coats and hats and said they would
drop in again, that they hadn't time to
wait. The barber assured them that
the man he was shaving was mistaken.
couch! What's that you're shaving
me withP" said the deaf man, rising In
his seat and glancing at the razor in the
trembling hand of the barber. "Oh!
thought it was a saw. Look out for the
scar where you cut me the other day; 1t
is not healed yet"
The agitated barber got another razor
and strapped it, while another custom
er left to 'catch a train"
"There, 1 knew you would do it,"
said the deaf man, getting out OF the
chair half shaved and throwing the
towel that was around his neck on the
floor. On his face was long crimson
streak, that looked as II he had received
a severe cut.
That settled it. There was stampede
for the door, and in q minute only the
proprietor, his assistant, and the deaf
man were left together. The proprietor
was furious and declared he was ruined.
$50 you want to know II would have
my eyebrows banged and my whiskers
done up in papers?" said the pretended
deaf man, washing the cochineal of his
face.
"Ain't you deaf ?" shouted the pro-
prietor.
'No; l assumed deafness to escape
your conversation, and you made fun OF
my affiiction, and determined to punish
you," and he left the barber to mourn
over his indiscretion and to resolve to
be more considerate Of afflicted persons
in the future.
nrassad In HYidoW,s Yaeda.