Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-07-02
SOME woMEN's WAYS.
How They Exasperate Passengers by
| Their Inconside crate ContlucA

How They Exasperate Passengers by
Their Inconsiderate ConducA
Woman, with child, ascends thu, first
fight of stairs of the 81" road station at
One Hundred and Twenty-fifth street and
Eighth avenue. Meets colored porter
sweeping the stairs in search of nickel,
with firm determination not to kick at
anything of larger denomination.
Woman to Porter-To which side should
l go to take a downtown train?
Porter to Woman The uptown side,
ma'am-this way.
Woman to Porter-Nyell that's queer;
the uptown side to take the downtown
train.
Porter to Woman-Curious,s ho, ma am,
OATS what folks all says, nam; but
Woman to Porter-Are you suret
Porter to Woman-Sho's Pm niggah.
She eyes the porter scrutinizingly.
Woman to Child-Guess the man mast
be right. Come, deary.
Woman and "Deary" ascend the second
flight of stairs. "Deary" is but tot, and
must wait till he has both feet on one step
before putting another foot forward. They
block the stairs. Several men in hurry
(they abound in Harlem) try to dodge and
pass them. Fools that they are! They
can't have travelled much on the 81"
roads. Woman and "Deary" eventually
reach the door, Woman holds the door
for "Deary" to get in and slams it on next
mans nose. 1t all goes. She goes to the
ticket window and asks:
"Is this the right way to go down town."
"Yes'm," answers the urbane and gar
rulous ticket agent.
swell, that's queer"
Then she gets out search warrant for
her pocket. 1t reminded me of the search
for the Doodle aldermen of 1884. But she
| finally accomplishes a feat would never
attempt. She finds it. She delves into it,
inserts her entire plump forearm into it.
To her amazement it is empty. She is sud-
| denly struck by an idea which is whispered
| to her by an impatient man in a hurry, and
becomes conscious of the fact that she
holds her pocketbook in her left hand
| Oh, dear! How stupid of herl She opens
her pocketbook, doles out four pennies to
the ticket seller, one at time, but to save
| her soul she can't find the fifth one. She
finally gets a two dollar bill changed. She
has no sooner received her ticket than she
finds that truant penny and wants to get
her bill back. The urbane and garrulous
ticket agent pays no attention to her re-
quest, and exchanges ticket for Il nickel
with the next man in hurry She finally
reaches the ticket choppers box.
sis this the right way to 60 down town?'
she prudently asks before putting her
ticket in the box.
"Yes'm."
"Come, Deary. This mans mighty curt''
(soliloquizing).
A train is at the station. Scores of men
in Il hurry shove or jump over Deary's
head and stampede for that train. The
! gong rings, the greatest stakeholder of the
road slams the gate with grin, and'scores
of men in a hurry get left and have to wait
for at least quarter of a minute for the
next train, which they employ in bestow
ing blessings upon the heads of Deary
and his cicerone. The woman finally
reaches the man who owns the station
platform and inquiries:
SIS this the right way to go down town?'
"Yes'n."
Another train thunders by. The woman
and "Deary" soon find themselves opposite
the gate, blocking it. To make assurance
doubly sure she inquiries OF the conductor:
SIS this the right way to 90 down town.
"Yes'm-be lively-both gates" is the
official reply, in Susan Nipper style.
Woman and "Deary" are bundled into
the first car by the impatient passengers
and as she takes her seat hesitatingly
hear her soliloquize, "That's queer"
1t was.-New York Herald.