Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1891-04-10
MAI. TowNsEND's LANDSLIDE,
Or, How the a pril Fool Planned out-A
Queer Story.


ways accommodating and agreeable,
is the victim of his own landslide. He
went under with the land and has
since been contemplating how much
more pleasant it would have been
had he gone to keep company with
Daniel McGiDty. However, the Ma
or takes the slide quietly and is not
concociing any more April fools.
The Majors misfortune happened in
this way:
There is very fine widow in this
town, who exactly fills the cut Of his
eye. "Fine" is hardly sufficient to
describe her. She's charmer; ele-
CANT, dignitied, amiable and enter
tanning. More than this, she is rich
and owns fine farm some twenty
five miles out on one of the railroads
and likes to discuss farming. The
Major has not been slow to discover
this and post himself thoroughly on
agriculture, and has been diligent III
season and out, storing the widows
mind with valuable information on
all things pertaining to the farm,
such as improving the land, seeding
and cutivating the crops, raising Gu
cumbers, squash, peas and water
melons, how to hunt turkey eggs,
etc.
The Major was making fair wealth
er and getting on smilingly up to the
first of April-a very unlucky day
when he turned to writing essays on
Iandslides, the first of which ran this
way:
MRS. BLANK: Ten acres of your
land, with two OF mine, have fallen
in, and it looks like the whole place
is going to follow. You had better
come out.
Signed. JONES.
Jones is a neighbOr on an adjoin-
ing farm. This letter was promptly
delivered and proved too great
shock for the good lady's nerves.
~he was all broke up and didn't
know what to do. The ten-acre loss
was bad enough, but the whole place
was going under and it was ruinous.
Every widow must have a friend
and counsellor in all troubles and
affairs Except One), but in this case
she failed to call on the Major, who
was ready to go at once and refill the
ten,acre hole and have it planted in
corn in forty. eight hours. No; she
called Mr.. Kennedy, thru3ting this
letter under his eyes. "See here
read this and see what great trouble
you have gotten me into. You
advised me to buy that land as
the safest investment for my money,
because it couldn't get away and
now it's all sinking and oh, me
what am | to doY' Mr.. Kennedy
cleared his throat, chem, HEM" and
then read the note. "Ahem, ahem,
AHEM, AHEM, madam; ahem, ahem
it's mighty bad. did advise you to
buy it, but never thought of the pos
sibility of the land falling in, | al
ways thOught-ahem, ahem, ahem-
land the safest investment in the
world except the Northern Bank
ahem, ahem, but this is an unfor-
seen providence" Now the widow
made a mistake in calling on Banker
Kennedy in this instance. Had she
called on president Glenn, or
gone over to the other corner and
saw President Macrae, of the First
National, either one would have
told her that land was worth more
with the bottom knocked out, for
fish pond, than farming and there
was a fortune in it ifshe could only
save the corners and maintain the
| title. This would have been a sOlu-
ton to the question and would have
relieved the lady's distressed mind.
But Mr.. Kennedy is Il matter of fact
man, and while he knows some
things well he didn't know so many
things as the other two gentlemen,
and knows less about fish ponds than
any man, and of course could not
give the lady this valuable informa-
ton. "Well, Mr.. Kennedy, what
shall | do about it? was the next
pointed question that made the
Northern Bank president clear his
| throat some more. "Ahem, ahem,
ahem, ahem | declare, madam
ahem, ahem, ahem, | don't know
what to advise; don'tlthink we can
do any good by going out, intact
ahem, ahem, ahem that's too danger
Gus; | would not like to go near it, |
would be afraid of falling in with
it,"
The good lady was at the end of
her row and was forced to return |
home with a sad heeart to contem
plate the vicisstudes of farming.
Maj. Townsend was in the mean
while on guard for two days, looking
out for the widow; as she had |
ftiled to send for him he was
pDStpl nj pNprN train lpuVinCr rpa6v |