The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-08-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

hOhOh VI ia
The board of health-Three square
meals day.
Merely a species of pitchfork-A tun-
ing fork. Boston Post.
Adam was proudly conscious that he
never made mistake in his boyhood.--
Texas Siftings.
The work of a tramp is very scarce,
and the demand for it is very great
Chicago Times.
The detective who is going round at
all hours reminds one of hunting case
watch.-PucF.
Women look into the back Of book
first, because they always want to have
the last word.-PacL.
How much more detestable a fault ap-
pears when we can trace it to some one
whose station in life we envy!
True to some deep, mysterious law
Unfathomed by the student
The furnace now begins to draw
That all the winter wouldn't.
-NeO York Press.
When you begin to argue with a man
and he talks loud, walk off and leave
him. You can't convert him. - Gdlceston
NeloS.
"Tramp-"Can you put me on to
sometLing?' Farmer (whistling)-"No,
but I can put something on to you. -
Epoch.
Art Professor-"What is medium
tint or color usually called'" Pupil 1im-
idly)-"NTedi- ochre, isn't itW-Detro0
Free Press.
Riches have wings. What they need,
according to the average mans idea, is
tail that will steer them his way
Someroale Journal.
81 am going to Venice" said the
banker. "What fo.2" asked the cyni-
cal friend. "To see how they keep
banks ahoat. - Truth.
''Does stamp collecting payl" asks a
contributor. 1t does. Several men have
made large fortunes out of stamp collec-
tors.-.Ne'o York. Recorder.
"I really don't know how to get rid OF
young Van Arudt. He is such a persis-
tent aud devoted admrer of mine"
"Why don't you marry him."
Why is a mercurial temperament con-
sidered a drawback in STUDENT It
certainly should help him in taking his
degrees. .-BdlttmOro american.
He was man who Dragged about
His lineage SO much that he
Was by his neghbors taken out
And hanged upon his family tree.
Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Olde-"Why, daughter, you
broke that young fellow all up"
Daughter (who knows him)-"Oh, that's
all right. It's his normal condition. -
Washington Star.
81 have such an indulgent husband"
said little Mrs. Doll. "Yes, SO George
says" responded Mrs. Spiteful. "Some-
times INDUCES too much, doesn't hep
Boston Transcript.
When he was young he thought he knew
About as much as anyone;
But now he thinks he made a slim
He is mot in it" with his son.
Mrs. Brown-"T wonder why DIR,
Finn didn't bowp Mr.. Brown-oDe-
votion to his profession as surgeon,
you know-he delights in cutting peo-
pie. ."-Au@sey's Weekly.
In regard to modern languages, it is
said that the Chinese is the most difficult.
We find this out when we try to explain
to our Chinese laundryman that u pair of
socks are missing. -Ieeas Slftings.
With money plenty, and no clrc
He spends life that's heelless
And In two senses we declare
lie Is a mau that Is needless
Puck.
81 guess Nippum can hold his own in
The world, " remarked one Of that gen
.leman's aoquaintanccs. "No doubt of
It., was the reply. "His own aud
good many other peoples. ~ IE,shi,,g-
on Post.
"Where Is that BLACK cloud going tor
Asked the boy of his grandma dear;
Ana the old lady said as she shook her head
ITS going TO thunder, / fslr.h
Detroit Free Press.
Clergyman docking at the contribution
bodybuilding from the mcIlles aud
'eunes, you must have thought when 1
'sked you to remember the poor that re-
would do Just as we'll us col
ection. '-D6trOH Froe Pros.
The summer girl
Now takes a Whirl
In zaphyr-wOolng clothes;
Her ribbons gay
Nlththe breezts play.
Aud she has bows aud 6eaux.
-Ae'C iork Recorder.
What fear hath chilled the giddy
hrong! What terror stills the merry
ongl What numbs the dancers hung
cett What woe hath come the house to
.reett The guests from banquet table
y with pai'id cheek and glaring eve;
he landlord groans, the feeble clerk
urus of the gas, and all is dark. OF
.ght and love and mirth bereft, the lone
y tavern still IS ieit to hear Miss Dell
artay rccitc now "Iurlew Must Not
ring Tonight. '-Bardeite, IN Failadel-
tla Iseas.