The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-03

dining car one can get beefsteak and
soft boiled eggs and toast and coffee, but
here are a few kitchen articles out of
about five hundred on the list which we
would hardly expect to find. Bottle
holders, bar strainers, cigar holders,
liquor jiggers, lemonade shakers, mus
tard cups, towel holders, wine servers,
butter prints, can openers, ice shavers,
cigar box knives, wire cutters, apple
corers, Marie Bains, bottle brushes, GRO
quette molds, cake turner's, flesh forks,
egg sllcers, hue cleaners, gagnishing sets,
ice tongs, jelly molds, knife keelers,
boring knives, meat saws, paste brushes,
pot chains, wire broilers, water backs,
mustard OILERS, beaten biscuit, bath
brick and cochineal are articles that
while dining we rarely call for, and yet
they are there all the time.
Then again, who would think of call
ing in dining room car for sandalwood,
beeswax, off bearers, sumps, snaths,
winches, peavies, spokeshaves, hoet
rasps, manicure sets, button molds, post
augers, stump pullers, dental lathes,
raisin seeders, pile drivers or snad boners?
No one.
AT least hope so. For he would not
find them.
A young man in Dallas the other day
told me of good joke on Drexel, Nor
gan & Co., and as they are doing so well
L presume they will not mind it if 1 tell
1t here. You can never successfully pick
on prosperous people. Now look at Jay
Gould. have always said what liked
about Gould, and yet he and I are just
as good friends as ever we were. don't
see any difference at all. He never used
to speak to me, and he also does not yet.
But if he had been unfortunate, for
instance, and life had been failure. or
the sheriff had made him pay his fine for
not serving as a juror last fall, or had
scared him and garnisheed his pay at the
Western Union office, Jay would have
been i'll tempered over what have said.
and either stopped his paper or refused
me the privileges of his rolling stock;
but now he and I just go along as we
used to. 1t has made no difference with
either of us. We are above it.
Well, the young man said that he went
east while ago with letter of credit
from the Kansas City Safe Deposit and
Savings bank for $500. He went into
Drexel, Morgan & Co.'S and presented
it, asking for 500 on account. A clerk
took down a sort of time table and looked
over it, then he asked the young man to
be seated moment. He did so. There
was more consulting of the directory.
Later on wide blue policeman came in
and asked the young man to join him in
little saunter. The Texan was to be
married that evening to beautiful
young lady of New York, and so you can
see how little interest he felt in trysting
with fat policeman who shaved him
self.
The young man was shut up in the
cold, matted atmosphere of the gaol in
less than half an hour, the accusers mere
ly telling him that there was no such
bank as he claimed to Have letter from.
We will now suppose that a week has
passed by. All is bright and clipper in
the gay, glad sunshine, but pain alone is
the portion of the felon. The young
man from Texas had not changed his
collar for t6S hours His trunk had not
been sent up to him, and he had been
nightyless, if you will allow me to coin
term.
At that moment the doors opened and
freedom entered. ''You are released"
said a kind old man. "The Messrs.
Drexel, Morgan & Co. present their COM
pliments and regrets, They thought that
Kansas City was in Kansas"
Possibly the joke is on Drexel, Morgan
d Co., but If it is not on the young man
from Texas think it is on Kansas City.
What does the gentle reader with the
bright, new, crisp, unsalivated postage
stamp for reply think about it?