Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-01-01
Shearsby's Gus tomers suffered similar
amount of ind rect taxation

iormanceS TO make him think that my
silence was useful commodity, and he
sought to purchase it with frankness.
he was, however, 10th to betray his
secret all at once, but prepared me be-
torehand by various significant hints
to appreciate better its mysterious ma
ture.
One evening, when he was smoking
one OF my cigars before my fire, he said:
u am getting very hard up; l must
raise some money!"
said: 'How will you do it?'
II have method of my own, he an
swered, (which I apply whenever I am
in need of ready cash.
What is it like?"
He smiled with the smile of sphinx,
as he replied:
II call it system Of absence.''
On several occasions he made use of
| phraseology similar to the above. For
example, once he said to me: 81 get a
good enough living out of not being in
certain places at certain times. ;"
Further, he would not explain.
| About this time his creditors, of
whom the crop seemed to be perennial,
|
evident that unless the ready cash
should presently come to his rescue, he
was lost-that is, lost in the same way
that he had been lost many times before.
In the nick of time the money came,
hoewver, and he proceeded, with the skill
of a practical debtor, to make a small
| stream Of cash irrigate vast area Of cred
it. This being accomplished, he was at
ease again; and one night, over bottle
| OF wine and cigars, he told me how he
| had raised the money
ut wasn't MUCH" he said, carelessly
tive or six hundred. I manage to
raise that sum about four times year.
If you understand how to make it go
good as twice that, you know. Now,
I'll tell you. | have, back East, mum"
Der OF relatives-rich, respected and all
that Money comes from them. Easy
enough, you think? Well, wonder 1
am the black sheep of the outfit-scape-
grace, you know. And do you imagine
they would ever give up bean for me,
II did not come at 'em with some thing
worse than agun? Why, sir, the whole
bloody layout is SO mean, and they hate
me so, that, I give you my word, if I
was roasting in the lowest depths of
Sheol, there isn't one of 'em would loan
you fork to go and see if was done.
No sir! That's the kind of citizens they
are. But l notice they come up pretty
regular just the same"
lie ficked the ashes from his high
| priced cigar into the Fireplace with an
| impressive gesture. Then from his desk
he produced several letters and large
book labeled journal
Here It is" he exclaimed, throwing
the book down on the table in front of
me; Richard Kerth's Ready Letter
Writer, or the Art of Holding Up Our
Relations. And here are sample re.
turns he added, dropping the letters
on the table. ''But you had better be-
gin at my end Of the transaction. Read
in the book frst-the last batch of let
tiers copied there. I always copy 'em
SO as to keep track of what L m DOING
| l opened the volume at the place
where he indicated, and began to read
aloud: "'Hiram Griffin, Cleveland, o.
| My Dear Uncle
"My mothers only BROTHER" interpo-
| lated the scapegrace-''Presby terian
elder-hard ware merchant-moral cit
| izen."
| l read on:
"I suppose you will be devflish glad to learn
| that have at last decided to turn my face
homeward. I'm tired of wandering, and it's
mighty poor picking out here. I expect to start
| in a couple of weeks, unless hear from you in
the meantime. lot Of California stock will
be entered at the fall meeting at Cleveland
T Y hot of 10 LOT i,
on the ground floor, SO that we can make good
| thing out OF it. How are Bill and jimmy"
civilian and James," said the black
| sheep, rolling up his eyes; s'his sons,
whom he is bringing up in the way they
should go-pious youths of sixteen or
| thereabouts."
"I expect they would enjoy the races and
| some Of life that could show them Iplan to
spend month in Cleveland, and perhaps may
| locate there. Some of the fellows are making
| up party to go to China. If had a couple of
hundred more would go with them, but have
only just enough to take me home Your affec-
| tionate nephew, RICHARD
Gold chills ran down his back when
he read that letter. said Mr.. Kerth.
Here is his reply. He prays for the
salvation of my soul, and incloses a
check for two hundred See? Read
| the next one.
1t was addressed to ''S Van Doosan
Kerth, The Beauchamp, Network City, .
and began: ''Dear Uncle"
Fathers brother" the scapegrace
explained; cold bachelor-great swell,
He never saw me, and has an idea that
l am very wild and woolly, like every
thing west of the Croton aqueduct"
l read as follows:
"'DEAR UNcLE-Respected brother of my
parent; take my pen in hand to let you know
that two weeks from date shall take the trair
| for your city, and shall visit you at the Beau
champ House, where you are staying. If yor
| should happen to be out of town, I will wait
until you get back, for mean to live in you1
city hereafter; hope to get job there.
know you will help ME, as your brothers son
to get job. Perhaps Mr.. Beauchamp would
like a man to carry trunks. know you will be
glad to see me. If 1 could get into the grocery
business here would stay, and man know
OF will take me in for two hundred dollars
Please look for me at the depot in the emigrant
cars. Your nephew, RICHARD"
Imagine Uncle Van Doosan reading
that epistle at his club" said the scape
grace; 81 wonder it didn't give him a
stroke of apoplexy. However, it was
not the first of it's kind He always
comes up. don't have to whistle twice
to him."
The next was addressed to MRS.
Elizabeth Pennington, Germantown,
Philadelphia"
ivan Doosan's sister," said the scape.
grace; ''they have quarreled and won't
compare notes. She is widow, with a
fine income and an elegant place. Two
lovely manageable daughters"
The letter set forth the intended
visit of Mr.. Richard Kerth to the East
and his plan to spend some time at Ger.
mantown-at his aunt's residence, ii
she wished it so; if not, with some
friends of his there by the name OF
Boggs. There were various gallant
references to Mr.. Kerth's cousins, and a
j delicate insin ton th at no ,1zoa1 Id ,,rol.