davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
WOULD BE TEACHERS.
How the Young Idea Would Shoot
Under Their instruction.

An examination was held in Sacramen to
last week to enable those who desire to
teach the young idea to shoot to exhibit
their qualifications for their pleasing task.
Ii the report of the Record U MON is to be
credited these qualifications are, in some in
stances, of a character somewhat startling
For instance, Obesity was defined by one
aspirant to pedagogic h0nors as "a bow:
by another, improper language" and by a
third, courtesy" One normal gradua to-
ambitious of graduating to Others. regarded
ito snatrh'' as fair definition of the word
'choler" Another considered killing
something" as sufficiently explanatory of
the word ''parricide."
Another brilliant embryo educator, evil
IDENTIFY of an imaginative turn, defined
tom of ship" Humidity" was defined
peaceful by one and calm" by another,
both suggested. perhaps, by the informa-
ton that Ireland is noted for her humid
climate and for the peace and calm which
she enjoys under British rule. CALDER"
was defined as zone who Scribes"-fairly
entitled IT, an embossed leather medal. But
II would require inventive genius to devise
fitting mement0 Tor the one who defined
"caricature" as zone small in character"
Two bright aspirants were at one in SEN
timent, but at odds in fittingly expressing
it, as to the definition of environ" One
preferred ''enviOus" and the other ''irrita-
bic" According 10 another, sienna
gOgue' in the latitude of Sacramento is
''one who processes religion" If another
had passed, the pupils of at least one Cali
fornia school would have been taught that
the longest side of triangle is shy
pothesiS." Ingenious" was defined as
grateful" and "vitiate" ''to make vital"
Paper" was by one original genius defined
rs certain rules a person must 20 through
to be member of society"
According to another of these educational
highghts "mercenary" is "a place where
medicines are kept and a "mendicant' is
zone who deals in medicines" "Indigen-
Gus" is mot dignitied"; ''arrogate' is
what the average" Sacramento teacher
does; their ''agrarIans" are ''com batan is"
an ''antiseptc' IS ito take before"-meals
probably; their ''alluvlal'' is round" and
there was probably more truth than scholar
ship in the declaration that "cnrsory" re-
mark in that quarter, especially while the
Legislature is in session, is that which is
curse"
Still few more OF these brilliant im-
proyements on Worcester and Webster
were: Benignant, ''uncivilized"; nocturnal,
every three months; arabic, THAT which
may be read" effervesce, respect; guer-
don, that which girds"; erratic. rational
hypothecate, ''to make ridiculous; pres.
tige, put on extra work.; uybanity, pro
family; compendium, reference 10 writ
Ing" All admirable opponents of English
as she is understood by these ambitious as
plrantS to pedagOgic prerogatiYeS.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
BORROWING A CHILD.
Faded Belle Concocts a Shrewd Scher
to Pose as n Widow.

Faded Belle Concocts Shrewd Scheme
to Pose a Widow.
The eccentric people in the world are
more plentiful this summer, ii would seem,
than ever before. There is a lady verging on
40, attractive withal. and excellently bred,
who approached friend with most aston
ishing proposition.
Il want to borrow your little daughter for
the summer if L may" said she.
why, what forp" laughed the friend.
''Ob," she replied, 81 have plan. You
know how odd | am. My oddly has kept me
single all these years. There never was a
man that cared for me over a week. though
I've had hundred of 'em desperate for that
length of time. Well, I've been doing the
girl act up to the present moment, and have
had all the fun l wanted. Last summer.
however, / noticed that my fascination was
waning, and that the men were neglecting
me for the younger beauties. | didn't like
that, and | set to work studying out some
compete with the freshest of 'em. I've got
1T now. I'm going to be an interesting
widow this summer l shall 60 to a jolly
little quiet hotel where no New York ladies
are ever found, and [ shall be Mrs. So and
So of New York. But l must have a child.
| want a pretty, sweet little girl child of 8.
and your Bertha is just the one | want.
Now you lend her to me and let me pass her
off as my daughter and I'll invite you to 90
to Europe with me in the fall. Do, now.
there's dear. Take pity on a poor faded
creature who can only make hit by bein g
widow, Lend me Bertha, and make my
summer happy"
But she did not get the chilj-N. Y.
Letter
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06

friend a surprise. He said that he had never
heard of the man in his life, but presently
invited his friend out for little walk
Trayers led Schaeffer to one of the haunts
Of the old scout There was an introduce
ton. an instant recognition and happy
reunion. The relatives, parted for nearly
fifreen years, actually Rugged each other.
Skookum came west with his brother, drift
ed north with the tide of immigration that
set in when the gold fever subsidized, and be-
came trapper, explorer, scout and pros
pector. For years he has Travelled through
the mountains of the north.
He has world of experience in that line
and knows more about the passes and ranges
and locations of the mountains than any
one else in the State. His has been an ideal
life for a man of his tastes. He was prob
ably buried in the almost impossible for
ests of the Cascades when San Francisco
m0urned the death of his brother. His
horse, faithful dog, trusty rife, pan, pick
and culinary outfit have been his only COM
panions on his trips. Skookum and his
nephew were not lung together. The old
scout had party to guide into the mount
aims, and despite the fact that wealthy
nephews do not show up every day he is
not overlooking any tricks.
lie will probably go to California for a
time tn visit his people. but the civilization
of San Francisco will not hold him long, and
he will soon be back to the old lines. Ii is
the life of his choice and he has the choOs-
ing to do.-Seattle Telegraph.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
PROCTOR'S ORDERS.
1t Will Decrease General Ruger's
Jurisdiction.
The Territory Directed by the officials in the
Phelan Building Only 0ne-Third
of Its Former Area.

General Thomas Fl. Ruger. u S. A, Com
mander of the Department of California,
was seen last night at the Occidental re-
garding the order signed on Friday by Sec
rstary Proctor abolishihg the three great
military divisions Of the United States, the
Atlantic, Missouri and Pacific, but main
tanning as formerly the departments OF these
divisions.
When General Ringer succeeded to the
command OF the Division of the Pacific a
little more than two months ago the terri
tory under his Jurisdiction comprised the
Departments of California, Columbia and
Arizona. The Department Commanders re-
ported to the Division Commander and the
latter official to Major General Schofeld and
the Secretary of War.
General Ruger stated last night that he
had not yet received tile order of the Secre-
tary alluded to in the Geographic dispatch
from Washington, but said that, if correct,
its effect would be to cOnfine his authority
ID the Department of California, which
comprises the portion of California north of
t6e thirty-ffth parallel and Nevada. His
headquarters will be at San Francisco, as
formerly.
General McCook. who has had charge of
VIZ DCPaitiHCut VI al WHICH
tn balance of California, Arizona and New
MexirO, will probably continue in that
capacity, his station being at Los Angeles.
1t does not appear to be certain that the
department will be separated from that of
California, but if so, General MeCook
would report directly to the Secretary of
War and the General commanding the army.
y is certain that the Department of Co.
lumbia, which comprises Oregon, Washing
ton, Idaho and Alaska, will be separated
tsSln the California Department aud will
be commanded by General Kauts.
The commander of the Division of the Pa
citic was under the old arrangement; also
the commander of the Department of Cali
furnia. Under the new law he holds only
the latter Office. the former being abol-
iShed.
The officials in the Phelan Building will
be relieved Of much of their former work,
and the only orders hereafter passing
through their hands will relate to the De-
partinent of California.
Whether Secretary Proctor's order will
necessitate reduction in the staff is not yet
apparent, but the probabilities are that no
changes of this nature VIII be made in the
immediate future
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
BUYING HIS FIRST TILE.
How He Was Brought to the Point
the Shrewd Clerk

How He Was Brought to the Point by
the Shrewd Clerk.
He walked into the big hat-store and
looked about him timidly. He was rather
understood and it was eviden. from his man.
ner that he was about to take very impor-
tant step In the matter of headgear. He was.
His mission was TO purchase his first silk
hat, explains the New York Times. 1t is
peculiar how deeply most men will mediate
on that step before they take it. The partic-
ular person now under discussion thought
that he had screwed his courage up to the
sticking point, but he hadn't. A clerk ap-
preached him and his courage failed him.
''Show me Derby" he said. The polite
clerk showed several Derbys, which the
yeuDg man listlessly tried on.
None of them suited him, OF course. Finally
he said: Il wonder how a silk hat would be-
come me. DO you think l could wear one ?''
Wear one? OF course you COULD" said the
clerk. You're just like everybody else who
buys silk hat for the first time. They all
ask the same question. They want the silk
hat themselves, but they fear that debut
in that sort of headgear will be the signal
for their friends to begin guying them.
This feeling wears off after the first day or
two and then you are happy" He bought
tho silk hat
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
OUR NEW FLAG.
1t Was Hoisted for the First Time on In
dependence Day.

1t Was Hoisted for the First Time on In
dependence Day.
The new American flag, with its union of
forty-four stars, was hoisted for the first
time on the Nutional Capitol the White
House, Federal depal tment buildings and
the several army headquarters throughout
the country on Saturday last, in accordance
with the rule of Congress Qaid down in 1873
naming the national holiday as the only
occasion upon which such a ceremony
should take place. 1t was first seen III this
city from the staff on the Phelan Building,
in which the army headquarters are located
The only change in the flag is the addi-
tiou of white star in the azure field 20
represent the new State of Wyoming; the
thirteen stripes, typical of the thirteen orig
inal States, being undistnrbed. The forty
four stars are arranged in six rows. with
eight stars on the top and bottom rows
and seven in the others.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
TOO SMART WITH HIS GUN.
a Fresnoite Arrested on a Charge of A.
sault to Murder.

Fresnoite Arrested on a Charge of As
sault to Murder.
j. s. Henens, recent arrival from
Fresno, where he is in business as a painter
and decorator, was arrested by Officer G..
II. McMann on a charge CT attempting 10
shoot Andrew Winter. the keeper of gro
Gerry and saloon at 3lS Grant Avenue, and
was booked with assault TO murder on the
Central Station ledger. Winter says that
when lie warned deaf and dumb man who
Was drinking in his place not to accompany
Henens outside. the latter drew pistol on
him and WAS prevented by bystander
from discharging it at him. Henens was
then thrown out OF the place and came
charging back immediately, pointing his
pistol again at the proprietor. lie was
knocked down promptly, the pistol takeE
away from him and he was turned over to
the police.
Henens says he was set upon without
proyocation in the saloon. by lot of men
who beat him, and that he only drew his
pistol in Self-defense.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
AN OFFICERS FAD.
1t Leads TO His Being Mysteri
Ously Assaulted.

If there is anything policeman is more
likely TO have than the eternal gratitude of
the persons living on his beat it is fad.
The long hours OF the night, it may be, are
conducive of such things, and the policeman
is rarity who has not his peculiar fad in
which he luxuriates and tries to drag every
body else by the buttonhole.
Officer P. Mcmillan, who patrols Fifth
street on alternate watches, is no exception
to the rule. His fad is pure milk, and his
full. round. red face is perpetual evidence
that his fad Is practical as well as theoreti-
cal.
Officer Mcmillan loves to catch fellow
officer, a newspaper man or a foot passenger
by the button-hole ana pinion him until
fresh milk and the multitudinouS WAYS of
testing 1t have been discussed upon ad
seriatim. The subject, fresh milk, would
naturally suggest means for testing. and, OF
course, Officer Menihan knows the only
reliable means. 1t is to dip brand new
darning-neede into the milk" If it comes
oct without a drop pendant frOm its end
the milk mas been adulterated.
Last Sunday morning Mcmillan was on
his beat as usual and he waylaid his special
victim, a milk vendor, on the corner of
Mission street, and he had him sweating
blood, hguratiyely speaking, in his anxiety
to leave long enough before The officer had
reached his test.
Now I'm a-telling you that there's moth
ing like pure milk"
Had The officer cast his eye behind him he
would have seen man stop and listen and
he might have given him seat in the or
chestra or dress circle; but he didn't and
the man remained behind fly"
Now to test the milk -
The man started at this and made move
men of anguish.
- To test the milk would recommend a
needle. Let it be- -
That was AS far as Mcmillan got, for with
cry Of horror, the man sprang upon the
officer and dealt him savage blow behind
one Of bis ears. 1t knocked Mcmillan into
the gutter and was nearly a knockout"
Mcmillan rallied and went after his assail-
ant.
At the Southern Station the man gave the
name of John Shelly. He was charged with
battery. He would offer no explanation of
his deed. but mumbied something wild and
weird about tests that sent horrowS to the
marroNs of the listeners bones.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
Thousands of Families Made uanpx

Dr.. i. z. Kelley, who has the famous in
stitution at Dwight, ILL.,, for the cure of hab-
itual drunkards by the double chloride of
gold treatment was here yesterday on his
say to Europe. His place is wonderful
one. They 60 there from all parts of the
country. Professional men, from the high
est walks of their profession; business men
in fact, all classes, and victims to all man
ner of slavery, from men who drink pare
goric to opium fiends of the worst imagin-
able type, and % out of every 100 return to
their homes cured of their Affections. 1t is
by far the most wonderful discovery of all
time for these habits, and thousands upon
thousands of homes are being restored and
made happy once more by this remarkable
man. There are dozen or more well at
tested cures in Pittsburg, and most of them
were given up as about hopeless long ago.
piGsDnrg Press.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
PERSONAL NOTES.

Edwin Sinclair of Marysvlle is at the
Russ.
c. c. Morse of Santa Clara is staying al
the Lick.
A Won Mumm of Washington is registered
at the Palace.
W. J. Mcintyre. an attorney of Riverside,
is at the Grand.
Charles Lamb of Calistoga is registered
at the California.
Railroad Commissioner William Beckman
Of Sacramento is in the city.
Louis Il. McWhirter, a prominent attorney
Of Fresno, is at a downtown hotel.
Sidney Selover, prominent lumber mer-
chant of San Diego, is at Occidental.
Sir Francis Boileau. Bart, accompanied
by Lady Boileau and Miss Boileau, arrived
IN the city yesterday from London, En-
gland, and is at the Palace.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
SUNDAY PASTIMES.
The Two Hand.Ball Courts Meet
I'm Friendly Contest.
Champion R;c.aan Worsted by His Adversa-
ries-Burnaby Cricketers Score an
Unexpected Winning.

The two south of Market street hand-ball
courts have at last come to an understand
ing on a basis that will permit the making
OF matches in the future. and this under
standing has been sealed by an Interesting
series Of games, which came of yesterday.
The match was between Pacific Coast
champion. John Riordan of the Union, and
Mike Butler and Joe LaNless of the San
Francisco Court held in The latter court
There had been some apprehension on the
part Of both courts that Riordan. who has
been i'll lately. would not be able to play
and the apprehension was accepted as a
fact by many persons who would otherwis e
have been in the gallery when the game
went Of. RoTdan appeared looking worn
and hardly fit to go into the court, but he
persisted in his intentions to do so. He
said he hardly hoped to win, utwould give
TIE boys q show as they expected it.
The game was called by George Dali, who
had been chosen by both parties as referee
Butler and Lawiess won the toss, and the
game began. From the first it was evident
that even if well Riordan would have had
his hands full TO cope with the two old
layers pitted against him. for they scored
numerically while he tried to stop their
work with. his many Hel-known tricks of
agility and prowess. The first game re-
suited In the score of 81 to in favor of
Butler and Lawless.
With the second game RiOrdan seemed to
regain his yigor, and he put and took with
effect Especially did his many efforts to
take and land the sphere with his feet count
in his favor. Still his play was weak. The
second game scored p aces for Butler and
I.awless and II for Ri0rdan. The third and
last game was played about evenly until
each side had IA aces, then Butler and Law
less ran up one at time TO p, while RlOr-
dan ran his score TO IS.
The match in the San Francisco alley did
not seem TO detraet from the interest of the
games in the Union alley. Joseph Leary
and Tom Welsh started the ball, and after
& hard struggle the latter won in the second
and third games, which. with the first.
scOred-I5 to 10, to Is and Is to 10.
Jerry darcy and 2. kissane played 7.
Kelly and Tom Cook. The latter team won
two straight TubberS. Scores: First rub
ber-10 TO 10 and y TO 10; second rubber
& to 10, Is to and Is TO 10.
Pennoyer and Hutchinson were matched
against Manning and McDermOtt, and won
by the scores-l5 to 10, i to Is and 10 to Is.
Condor and Kelly played Toner and
0'Donnell three rubbers, and won the first
and third. Scores: First rubber-i5 to l,
9 To - and - 10 Is; seconds TO 10, 10 to IS
and 10 TO Is; thiId-l5 to 9, II 10 10 and 10
10.
Porgie Welsh was beaten by Al Maggie in
tie FIST and third games of a rubber he had
cared Nagle on 10 play. POTgie is au old
time amateur champion. Scores: Is to 10,
Is to 10 and TO 10.
Hugh Toner announces himself ready to
play anybody who thinks he can play
ball"
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
Sings sad song.

All Sing, the Henry Irving of Chinese
local histrionic circles, who recently left a
star engagement at Fresno with about $500
in cash, collection of jade rings. sharks
teeth necklaces and other bric-a-brac, as
well as three trunks and one bagful of
creased pants, yellow shoes and other Celes-
tlal property, all of which is claimed by
Bung Look, the lessee and manager of the
Fresno Imperial Vaudeville, was arrested
in Chinatown yesterday by Detectives Cox
and Glennon for the grand larceny of said
property.
The unfortunate Thespian was booked
en- route for Fresno at the City Prison, and
will make the return trip to-day. He saws
the properly is all his, Bung having turned
it over to him as his share of benefit matt
nee engineered for him as "a mark of ap-
probation both as an artist and man by
the Fresno $685."
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
SKOOKUM'S SURPRISE.
He Meets Wealthy Nephew Whom


ne meets n wealthy Nephew Whom He
Has Not seen in Years.
There was happy reunion in the city
yesterday. says the Seattle Telegraph, and
old Skookum, the trapper, is one of the prin-
cipal characters in frst-class romance.
lie is the long-lost uncle of a very fond
nephew, and when they met and compare d
notes they actually Rugged each other
Among the arrivals from California few
days ago was Edward Schaeffer, merchant
OF San Francisco. lie is the son of J. w.
Schaeffer, one of California's pioneers and
most prominent citizens, recently deceased.
He came north on business trip, but had
an eye open for an uncle of his, whom he
stated he mad heard of indirectly as being
somewhere in the Northwest a few years
ago.
Among the people he met was Jimmie
TraveIs, the real estate man. an old Califor-
MIA friend. They had chatted along for a
time when Mr.. Schaeffor asked him if he
had ever heard Of an old prospector of his
name, and he described old Skookum. Now.
Travers and Skookum are great chums OF
course he knew him, but to make matters a
little interesting he concluded to give his
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
A Romance of Strawberries.

A yonng unmarried attorney of Council
Bluffs. says the Daily Nonpariel, recently
purchased box of strawberries, in which
he found an inscription which read like
this: Kind friend, who eats this box of
berries. would like for them to write to
me how the berries was. Pm the berry,
grower, and my address is Miss Dina Cru.n-
nell, Sarcoxie, Jasper County, Mo-" The
disciple Of Blackstone penned a loving mis-
sive in answer and closed with an earnest
appeal for the lady's photograph. A few
DAYS later heayy-built man, with fist
about the size of the large end Of telegraph
POLE. arrived in Council Bluffs looking for
the man who had undertaken the alienation
of his wife's affection. The young attorney
is out Of the city fur few days.
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
Remarked at the sInrpne

The following deaths were reported last
night to the Coroner, who removed the
bodies TO the Morgue, where inquiries will
be made TO fully establish the immediate
causes of death:
Patrick f. Carter, hackman, aged AZ, a
native Of Maine, found dead in his room in
the Portland House. 807 Kearny street. He
had been sick for some time
Charles Adjusting. aged ~. clerk, a.
tive OF Germany, was also found dead in his
room at 128 OFarreil street. Deceased had
been complaining of ill-health for several
DAYS mast
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06
Total.
ALAMEDAs-sEcoyD INNINGS.
BURSABYs-sEcoND INNINGS.
.rotal for . wlckets.
WING SHOOTING.

The Recreation Club Holds Its Fourth
Medal Contest.
The Recreation Gun Club held its fourth
medal contest for the season at Oakland
1ace-track yesterday. The attendance was
not as large as on former occasions, and in
terest in the SPORT commenced TO wane even
before dozen birds had been killed. from
the fact that the birds. taken as whole.
were about the poorest lot Of buffers" eyer
put in traps.
About the only brilliant shots made for
The day belonged to Barney, who, with a
repeating Winchester, did splendid exeeu.
ton on drivers" and '.incomers." In the
medal match lie killed twelve straight birds.
using his second barrel ON three only. The
full senrn in this nnnfnsf IL
The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-07-06

but missed his next two and then with
drew. Schroeder got away with five, miss
ing his fourth-a "left-quarter driver"
Barney also killed five, two of which re-
quired second barrel His fifth got away
with portion of the contents of his second
barrel and died just outside the bounds.
The stakes were allowed to follow in a
four bird match, which resulted in first
money for Siade. second for Schroeder and