The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1891-07-25
The Farmer and the Tariff Taxes.
Philadelphia Times.


his As per cent. taxed bed sheets
his so per cent. taxed blankets; his
40 per cent taxed pillows; his 30 per
cent taxed mattress; his 35 per cent
taxed bedstead, and he lands trium
phantly on a 100 per cent taxed
carpet, tackled down with 43 per cent
taxed lacks. He strips off his 40
per cent. taxed night shirt; puts on
his 80 per cent taxed undertaking;
follows with his 40 per cent taxed
shirt; his so per cent taxed pants
his so per cent taxed socks; his 80
per cent. taxed shoes. He next
takes up his 60 per cent. taxed tum-
bier; applies his 80 per cent. taxed
tooth thrush; pours out his water
from 60 per cent taxed pitcher into
a 60 per cent wash bowl; takes up
his 35 per cent. taxed toilet soap to
aid his refreshing ablutious in free
water; brings the blood to glow in
health on his cheeks by 60 per cent
taxed towel; combs his hair with
30 per cent taxed comb; gives it the
finishing touch with 80 per cent
taxed brush He next turns to his
90 per cent taxed necktie; ties it
around his 40 per cent taxed collar
stiffened by 100 per ct. taxed starch;
adjusts his 35 per cent taxed sus-
penders; and if a 30 per cent taxed
button is missing he replaces it with
a 30 per cent taxed pin; he then puts
on his 80 per cent taxed vest; follows
with his 80 per cent. taxed coat;
supplies it with As per cent taxed
handkerchief, and is then ready to
take survey Of himself in his 100
per cent taxed mirror on his 35 per
cent taxed bureau, when he is
ready to emerge from his chamber.
AS farmers are ever interested in
the weather, he will always brush
aside his 60 per cent taxed curtains
and take an early look out of his 35
per cent taxed window sash and 100
per cent taxed window glass to see
how the free air-and the only thing
free that he can see-looks and prom
ises for the day. If his digestion is
a little unsettled, he regulates it by
a 40 per cent. taxed draught of
from a 60 per cent taxed
glass; or he may prefer dose of
1S9 per cent. taxed castor oil; or
nip" of 300 per cent taxed whisky,
mixed with a 40 per cent taxed
spoon. He then takes his 70 per
cent. taxed pocket knife to clean his
finger nails, takes up his so per cent
taxed wool hat and is ready for a
survey of his manor. If he is u pru
dent observer, he takes O survey of
his kitchen and inspects his 40 per
cent taxed oil cloth; his So per cent
taxed crockery; his 40 per cent tax
ed stove and pans; his so per cent
taxed tinware; his 25 per cent taxed
broom; his IS per cent taxed buck
cts; his 45 per cent taxed jars con-
tanning his 100 per cent taxed rice;
his 35 per cent taxed tables and
chairs. The kitchen inspected as
the fountain of the farmers health.
he next steps out on his II per cent
taxed porch floor, by opening his 40
per cent taxed door latch, airs him
self under the protection of his II
per cent taxed shingles, and If storm
confronts him he wisely takes up his
so per cent taxed umbrella and
starts for survey of the farm. He
inspects his 35 per cent taxed wag-
ons; looks to the 81 per cent taxed
shoes on his horses, and the 76 per
cent taxed nails in them; take
peep at his A per cent taxed chains;
sees that his 40 per cent. taxed saw,
his SO per cent taxed files and his so
per cent taxed screws are all in
place; inquiries about his 80 per ct.
taxed harness, puts his 35 per cent
taxed wheelbarrow in place, and
carefully examines his forty five per
cent taxed reapers; his 45 per cent
taxed plows; his 45 per cent taxed
harrows; his As per cent taxed rakes;
about which time he pulls out his
80 per cent taxed watch attached to
60 per cent taxed guard, and dis
covers that it is breakfast time.
If devotionally inclined he enters
his house, calls his household around
him, puts on his 60 per cent taxed
spectacles, takes up his 26 per cent
taxed Bible, sits down on his 35 per
cent taxed chair, leans back against
his % per cent taxed wall paper that
covers his 20 per cent taxed lath,
lays his Bible on II 35 per cent taxed
stand on which there is 60 per
cent taxed cover, and proceeds to
read the solemn morning lesson.
That done he sits down to IS per
cent taxed table, covered with 40
per cent taxed cloth. laden with 60
per cent taxed plates and dishes, so
per cent taxed tinware, 60 per cent
taxed knives and forks and takes
his 25 per cent taxed fish, seasons it
with 40 per cent taxed salt and so
per cent taxed spices, and eats it
from 60 per cent taxed plate.
Breakfast over, he takes up his 10
per cent taxed pipe and his 200 per
cent taxed tobacco, lighted with a
IS per cent taxed match, to soothe
his nerves and aid his digestion.
He next disposes of his correspond
ence with 25 per cent taxed paper,