davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
Z CLUSTER OF BRlLLIANTs.

SOBER second thoughts are generany
preceded by observation-disclosures Slit
ings.
Ir is easier to forgive enemies we
have worsted than enemies who nave
worsted us.-N. Y. Herald.
DON'T fool with wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you IL
find he's all right in the end.-Detrolt
Free Press.
A TOMBSTONE is about the only place
where the average man really doesn't
care to have his name in print.-Wash
ington Star.
IT must be representative actor who
won't look at a billboard for fear II
might remind him of his board BILL
Morning Journal.
MEN may come and men may go, but
for coming and going the servant glrl
has a record that never will be broken
except by herself. Sun.
WHEN we read the interminable SEN
fences of some writers, we cannot help
thinking that their readers are in dan
ger of being sentenced to death.-Once
a Week.
THE oft repeated question OF "Do yor
love me?" in engagement, should bt
changed to Can you support mc?" ant
"Do YOU know how to coolz?"-Atchl
son Globe.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
ENTERTAINING TRIPLES.

THE fountains of Trafalgar square
spout five hundred gallons of water
minute.
ONE of the largest and finest maple
orchards in northern Vermont was
wheat field seventy years ago.
Two SIDES Of face are never alike,
The eyes and ears are invariably out OF
line, and other features are dissimilar.
IT is probably not matter of general
information that the finest, purest anc
most nutritious animal jelly known is
made from elephants tusks
In game of cards near Trenton
Tex, Charley Banks put up his pistol ir
lieu of chips. dispute arose, and IL
the struggle for the pot the pistol went
off, shooting Banks through the head.
THERE are records of elephants that
have lived for 200 years, and an age OF
$50 years is not regarded as so very old
for an elephant It takes about a
quarter of century to get an elephant
to full maturity.
A SILK weaver in Lyons, France, has
spent three years in making Catho
lie prayer book, in which the prayers
were woven into each leaf, not printed
Five hundred copies were made. They
sell for wedding gifts to the rich.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

Syrup"

Martinsville, NJ, Methodist Par
sonage. "My acquaintance with
your remedy, Boschee's German
Syrup, was made about fourteen
years ago, when contracted Cold
which resulted in a Hoarseness and
a Cough which disabled me from
filling my pulpit for number OF
Sabbaths. After trying a Physician,
without obtaining relief cannot
say now what remedy he prescribed
Il saw the advertisement of your
remedy and obtained a bottle. 1
received such quick and permanent
help from it that whenever we have
had Throat or Bronchial troubles
since ir3 our family, Boschee's Ger
man Syrup has been our favorite
remedy and always with favorable
results. have never hesitated to
report my experience of its use to
others when l have found them
troubled in like manner" REV.
w. H. HAGGARTY,
of the Newark, New A Safe
Jersey, ME-. Confer
ence, April IS, 80. Remedy.
G. G. GREEN, Sole Msn'fr, Woodbury,NJ.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
THE EMPEROR'S idea.

Emperor William has astoniShed
and disguised Germany by writing in
the Golden Book at Munich "The will
or the Emperor is the supreme law"
Something is however to be excused
to the hot blood of youth suddenly
exalted to the supreme head of great
nation. If the Emperor would take
that excellent remedy Reds German
Cough and Kidney Cure he would be
relieved from these troubles. There
is nothing that will cure cold or the
resulting maladies that come from it
so soon or so we'll as Reds German
Cough and Kidney Cure. This great
remedy will heal every trouble either
in the throat or lungs that arises from
a cold. In this respect it is unrivaled.
When you ask for this at your drug
gist's see that you get Reid's and take
no other. Every other remedy on the
market for the relief of these maladies
contain opiates in some form. There
is nothing of the kind in Reds. See
that you get it.
SYLVAN REMEDY CO., Peoria, Ill.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
Light in Barns.

A man took two calves sixty days
old, weighing $50 and 1872 pounds, and
both deep red in color, and placed the
heavier one in dark room where the
feed could be delivered by spout. Tile
other he placed in similar room,
where it had plenty of sunlight, and
both had the same feed for three
months. At the end Of that time the
one in the light room weighed 400
pounds and was apparently healthy.
The other weighed only $50 pounds, and
had faded in color to dull, dirty red,
and for a week or two after restoration
to the light kept its eyes closed most Of
the time. 1t never recovered it's former
bright color, or from the other effects
of it's three months in darkness. Nei.
Their animals nor vegetables can thrive
without sunlight.-Rural World.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
NOT GOOD FOR A COLD.

Failure of an Old-Time Remedy to Affect
n Common Afiliction.
"Hello! You seem to have a bad cold"
said News reporter to well-known
politician whom he met the other day.
"Well, / should say So" remarked
the one addressed, in voice which
seemed to come from his boot-tops.
you see, was out on recent night
blowing horn, and have been threat
ened with whooping-cough, Group, diph-
liberia and all the other throat diseases
ever since.
"But want to tell you the game my
wife played on me. You see, although
she is not q very old woman, she is ex-
tremely oldfasltioned-a always wanting
to tie wooden stocking around the
children's necks for sore throat. hang
ing little bags of asafetida on them to
keep off diseases, feeding them .ulphur
and molasses in the spring to CLEAN up
their blood, and sassafras tea in the
fall to thin their blood and get them
ready for winter. and all the other old
time whims.
"Well, when I went home the other
night with my fine, large cold, she con-
cluded that whisky sweat was about
the proper thing for me, and forthwith
scudded to the drug store and brought
home pint of the worst whisky ever
saw. Taking half of it she proceeded
to make what she called stew and
for fear the liquor would not be bad
enough to burn me up she garnished
it with some red peppers, No. q and
few more things, and after hustling
around and getting me into mp night
shirt she had me drink that villa decoc-
ton and then seat myself on %chair.
Putting the remainder of the whisky
in saucer, she set it on fire aid then
covered me all over with blanket,
and / had to sit there until all the
pores in my body were duly
opened, after which 1 was permit
ted to wrap myself up in the blanket
other blankets Shades of tophet, how
hot it was! But there was no getting
out Of it, for the good wife announced
her intention of sitting up and watch
ing to see that kept under the cover,
so to speak. When I awoke had
chill, there was no bedclothea On me
and there was the partner of my joys
and sorrows on the bed by my side,
sleeping soundly.
Poor woman! She meant well, but
my throat was more sore than ever the
next morning, and had to help myself
or make signs at the breakfast table.
And my wife is the maddest woman in
our neighborhood. This whisky sweat
for cold has been handed down from
generation Va generation in her family,
but it will stop right here. She will
never teach our daughter how tr make
a whisky stew or give sweat
Indianapolis News
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
HERE AND THERE.

Farmers, don't forever hang to tho
tail end of the coupling-pole of the 60
cart of progress. Take front seat, or
go under with the tar bucket and wagon
dog. 1t is the man who rides on the
cow-catcher that gets there first
Texas Farm and Ranch.
In an arithmetical progression the
sum of the means always equals the
sum of the extremes. Borrowing
money to pay interest on narrowed
money constitute the extremes of a
progression that generally exceeds the
means.-Texas Farm and Ranch.
We must never lose sight of the
fact that the magnitude of our crops
mensurably depends on our own skill
and industry. Our lawmakers and
rulers have no control over the elements
or our own good management Rural
World
1t will require long spell of wet
weather to briug the road question to
the front. There are some things people
will rot see until they get their teams
and wagons begged down in narrow
lane and wrestle with the restraint of
their religious profession.-TexasF Farm
and Ranch.
All intelligent students of The horse
give little hay, and feed grain more lib
orally than to the ruminants for the
double reason that the horse makes
poorer use of the hay than steer or
sheep will, and will be easier of motion.
Good horse breeders give but ten or
twelve pounds of hay day, and feed
once or twice daily.-Rural World.
The agricultural department of the
government will make an exhibit at the
Worlds fair of fac-simile casts of all OF
two hundred varieties of edible mush-
rooms which grow in this country 1t
is believed that the exhibit will be
productive of great benefit in educating
the people respecting this valuable
article of food, which is abundant, but
now little utilized. Texas Farmer and
Ranch.
If the governments of Europe were
as anxious to supply their poor with
good, cheap and nutritious meat food
as they are to protect by high tariff
their own rich producers, they could
very easily demonstrate the quality of
American pork, how it is bred, raised
and fed; then how it is killed. cured,
packed and shipped without waiting
for series of years to have it ding
donged into their ears by would-he
diplomats. Rural World
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
TILE DRAINING.
Something Few Farmers Seem to Appre
ciate the Value OF.

Something Few Farmers Seem to Appre-
ciate the Value OF.
Few farmers appreciate the value of
thoroughly understanding wet places
on their farms, or we should see this
advance in imprt -ement oftener under
taken. What has up to the time of
draining been little if anything more
than an idle waste. may by judicious
tile draining become the most fertile
and productive spot in the neighbor-
hood. Thus, instead of being a con-
slant threat to health and an unsightly
waste, it is turned into a source of
profit to the owner. and will be pointed
to with pride by every one who knows
of it as an object lesson in what may be
done in numerous places.
These remarks have been suggested
by observations on a meadow which had
been flooded by the filing up of an old
mill-pond near Morganton, but which
is being reclaimed for DR.. P. l.. Muir
ply, superintendent of the state hospi-
tai, by Mr.. w. E. Walton. who has the
farming for the hospital in his immedi-
ate charge. Up to the time the first
drains were laid, which was less than a
year ago. the whole area was either a
barren waste or thicket Of coarse
weeds and small trees, of which no use
could be made. This season it has pro.
ducaa heavy growth of corn in the
whole area first drained, except on
about one-half acre, where the wire
worms (the larva of the swapping
beetles) have injured it, and about two
acres, most of which was devoted to
melons and pumpkins. Thirty tons OF
watermelons were taken from about
one and one-half acres. and the yellow
pumpkins, still on the ground where
they grew, were beautiful sight in the
early September sun.
1t was but a short time ago when a
high authority in agriculture expressed
the opinion that the stream into which
the drains must empty could not be low
cred enough TO make the drainage of this
meadow successful. Strengthening the
curves by cutting across the loops has
helped, so that now the stream has cut
it's own bottom down eighteen inches
lower than it mas when the work was
undertaken.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
HASH AND REHASH.

TIE largest chicken ranch in the
world is on an island in Bellingham bay.
Puget sound.
On the Himalaya mountains fields OF
barley are cultivated and brought to
perfection 1850 feet above the sea.
! THERE is in Connecticut town a work
ing tclegraphcr who is entirely blind
Receiving, he writes messages correctly
and legibly; sending, the business" is
read to him by a boy.
A PLEASANT dinner party, composed
of twenty-cight persons, lately sat
down to princcly meal in the interior
of the trunk of tree on the estate Of
the host, in Tacoma, Wash.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

The statistical features of the great
Chicago fire have been summarized
as follows: 1.-The value of the prop
erty destroyed was $3.50, 900, 900,
the number of buildings burned
was II, and 9s,5OO persons were rem
dered homeless. Added to this appall-
ing sacrifice was the loss of 200 human
lives. During the twenty years that
have elapsed, the population of the
city has increased from 1874, 900 to /, $780,
600, and it's trade and commerce have
expanded from s4oo,ooo,o0o, to the
grand aggregate OF $500, 900, 900, as
the record OF the last twelve month";"
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

THE BREATH of chronic catarrh patient
is often so offensive that he becomes an OBJ
ject of disgust. After time liberation
sets in, the spongy bones are attacked, and
frequently entirely destroyed. A constant
source of discomfort is the dripping of the
purulent secretions into the throat some
times producing inveterate bronchitis,
cause of pulmonary disease nsA The Brilliant
results which have attended its use for
years past properly designate Ely's Cream
Balm as by far the best and only cure.
A remedy recommended by Physicians
and Druggists.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
HI the near round

Al the gear round
is the time when DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery works the best.
1t purifes the blood.
It's not like the sarsaparillas,
which claim to do good in March,
April, and May; you can depend
upon it aloays. That's why it is
guaranteed. If it doesn't benefit or
cure, in every case for which it's
recommended, you have your money
back.
No other medicine of its kind
says as much-but no other does
as much. 1t cleanses, renews and
invigorates the entire system. For
all skin, scalp and scrofulous affec-
tons, as Eczema, letter, Salt-rheum,
White Swellings, Hip-joint Disease,
and kindred ailments, it's positive
cure.
The proprietors of DIR. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy offer $500 for an
incurable case Of Catarrh. 1t isn't
mere talk-it's business. )
They mean to pay you, if they
can't cure you. But you'll find
that they can.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

This reclaim meadow bids fair to be-
come the most productive field OF the
farm, which is contributing in many
ways to the support of the state hospl'
tall. E. Emery, Agriculturist, N. G.
Experimental Station.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

The gentler sex often suffer from pecul-
lar weakness that gives them great dis
tress. Let them not suffer. A use Of DR..
John Bulls Sarsaparilla strengthens the fe-
male organization, and they soon grow
strong ard robust 1t is woman's best rem.
edy for weakness and declining health
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

Vile cod-liver oil has lost
Its vileness in SCOTS Emul-
sion and gained a good deal
in efficiency.
1t is broken up into tiny
drops which are covered with
glycerine, just as quinine in
pills is coated with sugar
or gelatine. You do not get
the taste at all.
The hypophosphites of
lime and soda add their tonic
effect to that of the half-di-
gested cod Liver oil.
Let us send you a book on
CAREFUL LIvING-free.
SeorT 8 Bowss, Chemists, -. South ssh Avenue.
New York.
Your druggstkeeps Scou's Emulsion Of codlivsr
sl-aa druggists sverywhsss do. u.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

LADY Ito servant) -"Lina, what has be-
come of your sweetheart" Lina-"He
doesn't come any more.n "Why notlD
Veil, you see, his wife is OF such a Jealous
disposition that rave him tho grand
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
Confirm ed.

The favorable impression produced on
the first appearance Of the agreeable liquid
fruit remedy Syrup of Figs few years ago
has been more than confirmed by the pleas,
ant experience OF all who have used it, and
the success of the proprietors and manu-
facturers the California Fig Syrup Com
pany.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

MANY mothers would willingly pay a dol
lar box for Bulls Worm Destroyers II they
could not get them for Is cents. They are
always safe and always sure.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

WIcKw1RE-"It it true that Nudge has
joined the church," Yabsley-'tIt is. he
did so on an election bet."-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

"WAT arrest me for voting twiceW said
the tramp, reproachfully. "Don'tyo know
that even history repeats itself?'-St. Jo-
seph News.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

Beware Of vanity, my boy. Tho birds
OF gaudy plumage do not make the best eat
ing" mo, indeed. The parrot never gets
into the ."-Brooklyn Life.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

A Dose in Time Saves Nine OF Hale
Honey of Horehound and Tar for Coughs,
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure IN one minute
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

"SEE with what a swagger the farmer
walks now!' eyes; sort of corn stalk. {"
Baltimore American.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

"THEY say Robinson has water on the
BRAIN" "Where did he get itw "What-
the water?" "No-the brain. life.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

CHARLIE YouSeNooDLE-sI've brought
the ring tonight. Alice" Alice-"Let me
see it 1t looks too large" Charlie Young.
noodie,"Oh, that's what all the girls said. u
The jewelers. Circular.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

THE young man behind the ribbon coun.
ter is not necessarily modest just because
he turns all colors.-Y onkers Statesman.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

A SENSITIVE old bachelor says that pretty
girls always affect him just as ornamental
confectionery does-they give him the
heartburn-Once Week.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

A-The first letters ct the alphabet
BIS the "a B. G. Bohemian Bottled Beer"
C-AmeEcan Brewing Co., St Louis.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
The Only One Ever Printed-Can You Find
W0rdS

There is 8 inch display advertisement
in this paper, this week, which has no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true of each new one appearing each week
from the DR.. Harter Medicine Co. This
house places a "Crescent" on everything
they make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful Autographs or
samples free.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

THAT'S what you might call cutting
swell, :" said the surgeon as he lanced big
boil.-Binghamton Republican.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

AN exchange speaks of a man who lis
not physician, but simple druggist" We
had supposed that druggist was a com
pound felloW.-Binghamto Leader,
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

ALL men are not homeless, but some are
home less than others.-Texas Siftings.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

The suggard who goes to his aunt and
gets nothing is forced to deal with his uncle
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

DocToRs are the ones who can afford to
smile every time they see men drinking
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

IT is not at all surprising that parrots
should use poly-syIlables. journal
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

THERE are many men who are generous
to fault, but it is generally to their own
fault-Boston Transcript.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

For indigestion, constipation, sick head
ACHE weak stomach disordered liver-take
Beecham's Pills. For sale by all druggists.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23
All the World and His Wife

All tho WORTH anu 11IS VITO
Recognize Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as
an incompatible remedy for dyspepsia, con-
stipation, biliousness, malaria and inactly,
ity of the kidneys, but they are not SO wen
aware that it has proved to be an absolute
specific for Ga grippe" that terribly deo
structive malady. Lose no time II tnls q nv.
tiers, and you viii speedily experience relief.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

USE BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRocHEs, Tor
Coughs, Colds and other Throat Troubles.
-"Pre- eminently the best"-Reu. Henry
Ward Beecher.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

WHEN may ship at sea be said not to be
on waterl When she is on fire.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

THERE'S pitch in the voice, and that's
why some singers notes stick.-Plttsourgn
Dispatch.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

a COUNTER irritant-an tmpudent dry
goods clerk. -Buffalo Enquirer.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

DOUBTLESS when they speak of the "war-
ring elements" they mean when the WINDS
have come to blows.-Was POST.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

"LEr me give you wrinkle" as Time
said to the mature beautys face.-balti-
more American.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

FOND Of nap, but seldom found sleepy-a
moth.-N. Y Journal.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

Love is never satisfied until it gets both
arms full-Dallas News.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

The fat man who writes poetry shoul
Invariably be boiled down.-Texas Siftings
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

B,L1ousSEss, dizziness, nausea, headache,
are relieved by small doses OF Carter's hlt-
tie Liver Pills
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

PAIN from Indigestion, dyspepsia and TOO
hearty eating is relieved at once by taxing
one Of Carter's Little Liver Pills immedl-
ately after dinner. Don't forget this.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-12-23

TIE self-made man should never marry 8
tailor-made grin. O. Picayune.