davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
PuNeENT PARAeRAPHs.

-He-''The Van Alstynes live in
great style, don't they?" Shelves,
they even have a, dissipated SON."
Soft Sawder-'But don't call this
fashionable 'at!" 'It viii soon be-
come so, madam, if you wear itP'-Lon-
don Punch.
"A touch of love makes the most
matter-of-fact man poet, or, what
amounts to the same thing, makes him
think he is poet.-Indianapohs Jour
nal.
Particularly the Regrets Maid
'sMr. Small couldn't call tonight, and
he sends his regrets and this little pres
ent." Miss Little-''Thanks for both"
Epoch.
Trembling Youth Madam, love
you to distraction; will you be my wife?'
Girl of the Future-"You may leave
your references and call again!'-N. Y.
Herald.
Walker newly marriedl-'I hope
you will do justice to my wife's biscuits,
old man?" Cutting Chis guest Well,
! frankly, think they deserve thirty
days. American Grocer.
My husband is very fond of an.
imals, said Mrs. Furber. Last night
in his sleep he turned over and said:
Take out something for the kitty. ~
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
e-''Seems to me you're pretty rough
on me for an old friend" said the six
dollar clerk as he ruefully looked at his
worn-out linen collar. - Binghamton
Republican.
THAT was a great scheme of Frank
Inns for getting lightning out of the
Clouds said Flickens to his slangy
roommate, ayes" was the reply.
s'Pretty fly. ~ Washington Post.
-'I beg pardon, but won't you ask
your wife to remove her hat? I can't
see the stage" Husband Whispering
baclz)-''Ask her yourself, please. You
don't know her as well as do. "-Flie-
gende Halter.
-Sweedle-'I can't see what makes
everybody rush to that little restaurant
on the corner" Pipes-@The salt-shaA
ers meyer clog. Only place Of the kind
in town"
Ed spicer-'sA Brooklyn policeman
shot seven times at a brother officer and
4 only Just grazed him once. . John
Moore Probably his motto was We
aim to pleaser ~ Weeks Sport
"A Keen Sense Of Humor. ION
his l1nees)-''O, Ethel, say the word
what on earth are you doing with that
camera?', Ethel-"Don't move, Jack; I
want to show you something funny
N. Y. Sun.
They tell me Miss Rizzle calls you
an upstart, " said a young man to Gus de
Jay. ''Yes;. but I cawn't blame her,
don't you know. I had sat on pin just
at the time don't you know. Washing.
ton Post. s8
She Gave Credit When Due.-Wife
(sternly)-''Was that you singing, Mr.,
Heavysides?' Heavysides (meelly) =
''Yes, dear sometimes sing when
am alone" Wife-''You have more
consideration for the feelings of Others
than had given you credit for. - Brook
lyn Eagle.
-''Brethren," said an old negro
peacher 'I've gotta three dollar sermon
I've got two dollar sermon, and I've
got dollar and half sermon; want
this indehcate audience to take up 3
/. collection, and then 1 will know which
, is the easiest to give you. United
Presbyterian.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
, FRAGRANT OFFERING.

,walked alone among the mis-
The voices in the air
syvsre kindlier than the thoughtless tongues
9f the worlds thoroughfare.
tbesrd no ring OF Mammoh's DeiIs'
s1hro, all the scented air,
\. iareon of the tiresome crowd
assailed me anywhere.
grander than st. Peters dome
sbone brilliant overhead.
stood alone a worshiper
n the city of the dead.
aloues Another followed me,
ca nure she looked, and brave,
md Jaid her fragrant Offering
Tpon a new made grave.
.rwas thus the Scottish poet knelt
To Kiss the wild flowers bloom,
snow the pathos that he felt
Reside the silent tomb.
~ ne remembered so thought,
Ispevermore to die,
n eoral language thus-is taught
our immortality
0t BY the graves of those we love,
1ur sorrows find release,
a precious promise from above:
sTn Me ye shall have peace.
liz tears fell-an unspoken prayer
Upon the fresh green sod,
and there laid my cross OF care
Towalk alone with God!
Arthur L. jerks, in Jury.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
LUCID As MUD.
Explanations Which DO Not Always
Clearly Explain.

Explanations Which DO Not Always
Clearly Explain.
One of the most comical sights in ex-
istence is to !. see a jury listening to,a
doctor giving evidence. To. any ordin-
airy observer it is evident that five-sixths
of the jury are hopelessly bewildered,
and the more the doctor explains the
less they understand.
But the most obscure of all explana-
tions are those which emanate from
people who don't know what they are
talking about, but think they know
enough to explain to others. One of
these gentlemen was showing friend
around town, and in the course of their
travels they came to a place. where ice
was being manufactured.
do you understand the philosophy
of making ice?" ask theed resident.
eNo," answered the stranger; II
never saw one Of the machines; and
never had the thing explained to me.
'I'n explain it, . said the resident
kindly. "You see they have kind Of
tank?''
'sYes." al ef as
And they FIJI that tank about two
h;rds full of water
.sYes. What then?"
'Why, then, they freeze it."
"oh," exclaimed the, disgustet
stranger, ''that's It, is it? had an ide;
that they boiled ati''-Go Golden Days. &
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
SILK AND VELVET COSTUME.
comprehensive Directions for Making an
Attractive visiting Gown.

Comprehensive Directions for Making an
s8 Attractive Visiting Gown.
Take your skirt and fit it after the
extremely plain fashion now fancied.
allowing, however, little more full
ness to come to the. sides than you would
if you We're using cloth or cashmere. In
the back arrange two double box-plaits
that are to be hooked up tothe end Of
the point of the basque, so that a
prineesse effect is possible.s Have your
basque short in front and arching over
the hips. Then to make the black look
newer, and to give. your gown the air
that French modiste gives black silk,
insert violet velvet vest; have. as is
pictured, full velvet sleeve and high
velvet collar. Make your bonnet Of
velvet to match, and put three tiny lit
tie black tips just in front. Tie it under
the chin with black velvet ribbon.
If you do not care for violet velvet,
then use green, blue, or golden-brown,
as is most becoming; but do not be
tempted to put scarlet or pale-blue with
your silk, for either will give it curl
Gus air of having been make over. bring
ing out all its imperfections and show
ing mons Of its goodness. :, Chicago
Times.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
BURDENS of Indnlenee.

None so little enjoy life and are such
burdens to themselves as those who
have nothing to do. The active cnly
have the true relish of life. He who
knows not what it is to labor, lzrows
not what it is to enjoy. Recreation is
only valuable as it unbends us. The
idle know nothing of it. 1t is exertion
that renders rest delightful and sleep
sweet and undisturbad. The happiness
of life depends on the regular prosecu-
ton of some laudable purpose or call
ing which engages, helps and enlivens
all our powers. Y. Ledger.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23
a Conacientious Jurr.

First Citizen-f you, had doubts of
the guilt of Mrs. Borgia, the alleged
poisoner, why did you vote to hang her?
Second Citizen (who was on the jury
We'll, you see, the trial made her so
notorious that we knew if we didn't
hang her, she'd soon be appearing on
tho stage.~-N. Y. Weakly.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-23

-'Chews your weapon" might be a
proper form of invitation to one of the
old-fashioned melo-dramatic duels in
which poison pills are used. Washing.
ton Post.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05

cigarette. This dictum win probably not
spoil the demand for the article, but It will
furnish the perishing dude with remark
for his part of little sweet colloquy.
"Wot's eatin' yerl" the gamin will flip
PANTY inquire. "a coleopterous insect"
the dude will answer, with faint flourish
of cane and monocle. Then the gamiu
should wilt New York Journal.
A St. Louis physician has made the dis
covery that cigarettes are infested by
coleopterous insect which he considers
poison, and he attributes many mysterious
cases of bronchial affection to this source.
The germ of the cigarette habit has not yet
been revealed by the microscope, but there
is room for the suspicion that the habit
itself is an ''illness," and the next achieve
ment of science may be to spy out its special
bacillus Philadelphia Record.
The cigarette fiend is threatened with
new horror He is now told that his
favorites are infested with insects. DR..
Dumesnil is the discoverer of this fact, and
he says that many bronchial affections may
be traced to the presence of these bugs. He
declares that the insect is the product of an
egg which bug peculiar to cigarettes lays
inside the wrapping. Fearful of doing the
insect an injustice, however, the discoverer
says that it only feeds upon the tobacco be-
cause of necessity. He also adds that the
bug belongs to the coleopterous class of in
sects. Probably So Philadelphia Bulletin.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
ABOUT SOME PEOPLE.

The prince regent of Bavaria has large
collection of beetles.
King Oscar of Sweden Is q collector of
books and poems, with autographs.
The ex-empress of Brazil possesses re-
markably complete collection of butterflies.
Mrs James Stewart of Grayson, KY, has
given birth to baby weighing only twenty
husband is much heavier.
The car is collector of birds eggs and
postage stamps. This should set off any
sneers at our own car Tom Reed, being an
art student on the subject of waist sashes.
The most fragile royal beauty is the
Grand Duchess Alice of Hesse, born in the
year 1872 She is a superb blond, tall and
slender, with delicate features and certain
svlph-like loneliness of her own.
Michael Moore of Brooklyn is the Oldest
second lieutenant on the army list. He was
for years musician, was made a lieutenant
in 1869, and two years later was retired.
He now draws three-fourths pay (s1O5) a
month, and is supposed to be not less than
ninety-one years old.
Louis Cyr, French Canadian, is six feet
high, weighs 300 pounds, and has lifted
1900 pounds of pig iron with his hands and
back and without using harness. Shoulder
ing 300-pound barrel of cement with one
hand, lifting SIG pounds with one finger,
balancing mis- wife upon his chin and rails
ing with his back platform holding 235-
pound dumbell and twenty men aggregate
weight 1887 pounds) are among his every
day feats.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
GOOD ROADS AND CONTENT.

The beneficial results on the social
and industrial life of the farmer are
being discussed in all sections of the
Union. Isolation is the cause of much
of the farmers tale of woe, and econo.
mists are beginning to realize the fact.
There is stream of humanity con-
stantly flowing from the farm to the
town, and the isolation of the farm is
largely the cause of it. This subject is
one deserving the serious consideration
of statesmen, and but for politicians in
Texas this state might now have local
option road law that would enable any
county to have at once highways passa-
bic in all seasons. 1t is subject that
will not always down at the bidding of
politicians. So strong hold has it
taken upon the public mind that road
congress has been called, and at the
opening of the Raleigh exposition the
editor of the Charleston World dwelt
in his speech upon the need of good
roads, now becoming so apparent.
1--WE have the worst country roads in
the universe" said he. and the lack
of easy means of communication over
wagon roads, he thought, has led to
that isolation and want of intercourse
among the Southern people which is
so necessary part of material and So
cial progress. There can be little hope
for the agricultural South until this
prime defect is remedied.
Commenting upon this the Baltimore
Herald says:
This is by no means a new theme, but its
truth is so apparent that it cannot be too
often reiterated. Good roads lie at the
foundation of successful agricultural opera
tions, just as the growth of cities in manu-
facture and trade is conditioned upon rail
road and steam boat facilities. If it costs
the farmer So ton to bring his cotton, rice
or tobacco to market, it matters little how
much effort he puts forth, he never will
prosper.
Good roads cost money, but they do not
cost so much as bad thoroughfares do. EX-
penditures for wagons, mules, harness and
repairs continually eat up the better part
of profits on agriculture in every Southern
state. As measure of practical economy,
therefore, good roads are one Of the first
considerations in the development of this
country.
In Mr.. Cohen's argument easy communi-
cation brings about intercourse among the
people. This in turn leads to exchange of
ideas, general education and information,
which ultimately can be turned to account
in commercial activity. There is much in
this idea, and every state in the South
ought to be following in the lead of Georgia
with its road congress, which is continually
agitating the subject with view to new
legislation and active work in road building.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
LOOKING FOR FLAWS.

A few days ago, at an Alliance meet
ing of one of the lodges, a resolution
was passed to look into the workings
of the railroad commission and ascer-
tain what good was coming to the pub
lie from it. A committee was appointed
to do this work, and report the result
of its findings.
If this is In the line of plan to pick
flaws in the railroad commission and
prepare material for use in the cam
paign next year, it is great mistake
on the part of the Alliance. AS a
BODY, that organization was euthusi-
astic in its advocacy of commission
bill, and did more, probably, than any
other agency in the work of making a
railroad commission a popular demand.
And though the leaders of the Ali
ance, or those who speak tor it and are
thought to represent it, later were
hoodwinked by sharp railroad lobbyists
and made to join in an effort to defeat
the commission bill in the legislature
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05

If THE Fort Worth GAZETTE is onto the
recent operations of the Videttes in Texas
will it please open up and tell what there is
in it, An anxious public thinks there is
something on, but don't know exactly what
it IS. Tell US what you know about that
same old seven and siX."-IBonham Fa-
vorte.
The Videttes being an oath-bound Sc
cret organization, with grips, pass
words and a secret cipher, and THE
GAZETTE not being member of the
order, it is not onto them SO as to tell
what is going on. All that we can say
is that meeting of the leaders of this
order was held in Fort Worth last
week, and that the participants in the
meeting (which was called by the Sc
cret cipher code) were the leaders of
the sub-treasury Alliance, and these
are the men who headed the dark
lantern" movement in this county three
years ago. THE GAZETTE published a
full expose of the Videttes at that time,
which broke the backbone OF dark-lan-
ternism in this county. THE GAZETTE
does not know, but it is safe enough
guess, that the meeting OF the Videttes
last week was an effort to revive that
order and use it to accomplish what it
failed of doing it 1888.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05

dred officials and members of the ALI
ance, representing all parts of the
state, 1t will be noticed that most OF
the names of the men who signed the
famous Austin manifesto and of those
who attended the July convention in
Fort Worth are not signed to this call.
The omission OF these names does not
indicate that the signers of the mani
festo and the participants in the Fort
Worth convention are not in active
sympathy with this movement. The
charge having been made that these
men were politicians, they have gener-
ally been left out of the list of the
prime movers in this affair, to set aside
even the shadow OF suspicion that
there is any political plot behind it.
The declared purpose of the meeting is
''to reclaim the order from the secret
political organizations which have
prostituted and disgraced it," and to
restore it to its original principles. 1t
is further promised that ''this meeting
will strictly obey the Declaration of
Intentions of the order and the pur-
poses for which it was founded. There
shall be no religious, political or parti-
san test-no political demands made,
nor will it favor or oppose the princi-
pies of any social, religious or political
party"
The reorganized Farmers Alliance
should be a great power for the good
Of the farmers of Texas, and of the ma
ton as well, for the new movement will
spread to other states. Learning from
the misfortunes that have virtually
wrecked the original Farmers ALI
ance, they will be able to avoid the
dangers of dabbling in politics, and
make of the new organization purely
social beneficial organization for pro-
noting the welfare of the agricultural
communities. There is plenty OF work
of this kind to be done, and if the Cor
sicana meeting shall be governed by
the wisdom of experience it will start
a movement that will go on to Won
derfully successful accomplishment.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
THEY SETTLE ATTHE BOTTOM.

SIT is the popularity of taxes" says
Chauncey Depew, that ultimately they
settle at the bottom" This is only re-
peating in another form what the
writers on political economy told us
long ago, to-wit: That all taxes rest
on agriculture and the consumer.
Every landlord adds to the rent the
tax on his real estate. Every importer
adds the duty on his goods to the price
at which they are sold to the wholesale
dealer, and he passes it on to the re-
taller, and the retailer to his custom
ers, who pay it out of their wages. u
timately, all taxes fall upon the con-
sumner. The notion advanced by some
Republicans who have got ashamed of
the hoary chestnut about the foreigner
paying the duty, that, although it is
paid by the importer or wholesale
dealer, he does not charge it to the re-
taller, is childish in the extreme.
Every item of cost is reckoned by the
importer in fixing the price of his
goods. If the duty be, as it frequently
is, and that too in. the case of the COM
monest necessaries imported, the prin-
cipal element of cost, how can the i'm
porter ignore it in fixing the selling
price of his wares? If the importer
can afford to ignore it, OF what use
is it? Where is the protection in
it? Who derives any benefit from it?
If the importers were as foolish as Re-
publican organs and orators represent
them in this matter, they would soon
land in the bankrupt court.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
THE DOCTOR.
Halls Journal of Health.


The skin of boiled egg is the best remedy
for boil. Carefully peel it, wet and apply
to the boil.
For simple hoarseness take fresh egg,
beat it and thicken with pulverized sugar.
Eat freely of it.
The juice of half lemon in teacup of
strong black coffee, without sugar, will
often cure sick-headache.
Castor oil may be comfortably taken in
hot milk, in hot water sweetened and
highly favored with essence of peppermint
or wintergreen.
A sure cure for infammatory rheumatism
is made by taking one ounce Of pulverized
saltpeter and putting it into pint of sweet
oil. Battle the parts affected.
For neuralgia in the face apply mustard
plaster to the elbow. For neuralgia in the
head apply the plaster to the back Of the
neck. The reason for this is that the mus
tard touches the nerves the moment it be-
gins to draw or burn, and to be of most use
must be applied to the nerve centers, or d.
rectly over the place where it will touch
the affected nerve most quietly. Let the
patient have plenty of sunlight. The tradi-
ton of the value Of darkened room has
long ago been discarded by wise nurses.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05

by dividing its supporters into select
i've" and "appointive" commission men,
with the intention of getting them to
quarreling among themselves and lead
ing to the defeat of the bill, still the
Alliance was in favor of the regulation
of railroads by means of a commission,
and accepted the bill as it was drawn,
except as to the appointing of commits
sioners by the governor. If they had
carried their point and passed an elect
i've bill, it is not easy to see how they
could have got better men on the COM
mission than have been appointed on
Though their demand for the ap-
pointment of Duncan went unheeded.
Being so bound up in the policy of
the railroad commission, it will be
hard and embarrassing task for the
committee the Alliance has appointed
to pick flaws in its work. About the
only thing they can say in the way Of
fault-fnding is that rates have not been
reduced low enough, in the face of the
protest of the railroads against the re-
auctions as ruinous to their business,
and threats from the bondholders and
stockholders that they will fight the
rates in the courts on the ground that
to submit to them would ruin their
property.
This ''nosing committee" has thank
less task ahead, and will, if it is wise,
ask to be excused on the plea of
pressure OF previous engagements"
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-11-05
HE A DEMOCRATs

Itself being an apologist for Mr.. Cole,
and likely, therefore, to put the best
face upon his conduct, the Dallas
Times-Herald's account of the incident
of his resignation from the executive
committee cannot be complained OF as
falling short of justice to him. We
quote from that paper:
Mr.. Cole said he did not ask any compro-
mise. If there were those who thought he
was out of his place as member of the com
mittee, they knew their duty. If the sub
treasury was anti-Democratic he was no
Democrat.
If the sub-treasury was anti-Demo-
cratic, Mr.. Cole was no Democrat.
That is his own statement with regard
to himself. The only question to be
considered in this matter, then, is
whether the sub-treasury scheme OF
Macune is or is not Democratic prin-
ciple.
The only official declaration made by
the Democratic party in Texas, touch
Ing the sub-treasury, has condemned it.
The party has nowhere approved it.
The platform adopted in the San An
tonic convention is the only rule of
guidance the party followers in Texas
have to 60 by. If the official utterance
OF the party counts for anything, there
fore, the sub-treasury scheme is anti
Democratic, and Mr.. Cole is, by his
own declaration of his principles, no
Democrat, and is not the right sort of
a man 10 be on Democratic executive
committee.
1t is for the writing OF letter up
holding the. faction of the Dallas Demo-
crafts in releasing this anti-Democrat
that Mr.. Finley, the chairmen of the
state Democratic executive committee,