The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-05-08
SOME CHINESE FABLES.
How They Compare with Those of West
ern American Origin.

How They Compare With Those of West
ern American Origin.
We are accustomed to think of the
Chinese as solemn-looking people with
slanting eyes and the corners of their
mouths much drawn down. Neverthe-
less, they have a jest book, and its
name is ''Siao Ii Siao." Here are trans
lations of some of the jests. The reader
will be struck by the similarity of many
Of them to western jokes.
A certain man had his portrait painted,
and when it was finished the painter
requested him to inquire of the passers
by what they thought of it, in order
that he might know how he had sue
ceeded. The other agreed and asked
the first conner, DO you think this
picture like?" THE hat is extremely
like" replied the would-be critic. He
asked a similar question of a second
stranger, who answered that the clothes
seemed to be exactly reproduced. He
was about to interrogate third, when
the painter stopped him and said: THE
resemblance of the hat and clothes is of
no Importance; ask the gentleman what
he thinks of the face" The stranger
hesitated very long time; but at last,
not being able to escape giving an an
swer, he replied: THE beard and the
hair are first-rate."
A man of letters, reading late at night,
became aware that a burglar was break
ing through the wall of his house. He
happened to have teapotful of boiling
water standing before the fire, and this
he took, placing it by the side of the
wall while he waited for the burglar.
Now, when the burglar had made an
opening, he thrust his legs through first,
whereupon the man of letters grasped
them firmly and drenched them with
boiling water. The burglar uttered a
piercing cry and begged for mercy.
But the other, continuing to pour out
the water, replied gravely, only wait
till l have emptied my teapot
A rich man, living between the FORCES
Of two blacksmiths, was continually
annoyed by being unable to rest either
by day or by night. At first he tried
to induce them to hammer more quietly,
then he made them all kinds of prom
Uses if they would only change their
abodeS. The two blacksmiths at last
fell in with his proposals. and he, trans
ported with joy at the prospect of their
departure, entertained them regardless
of expense at farewell banquet. At
the end of the feast he asked them
where they intended TO set up their
"smithies." WELL" said one of them,
che who lived on your left will go to
the smithy on your right, and he who
lived on your right will go that on your
left
In certain house there was baby
that annoyed everyone by its continual
squalling. At last a physician was
called in. He administered a bolus, of
the soothing virtues of which he had a
high opinion, and offered to pass the
night in the house to observe the effects
of his remedy. After few hours, hear
ing no noise. he exclaimed: Good, the
child is cured" Eyes" replied an at
tendant, 1.-THE child has indeed stopped
crying: but the mother has begun to
mourn
A miserly host always contrived to
avoid giving his guests a full glass OF
liquor. One of these, after regarding
his tumbler long and attentivcly, ex-
claimed: This tumbler is too deep; /
must cut it in half" The astonished
host inquired the reason. We'll" re-
piled the guest, "since the upper portion
never holds anything to drink, of what
use is it?"
Let us conclude with story well
known to our own great-grandfathers.
1t is curious that notions OF humor
should run so much in the same grooves
from China to Peru:
Two brothers cultivated the same
plat of ground. One day the eldest, on
leaving tc get the dinner ready called
to his brother to come with him. He,
however, shouted out at the top of his
voice: wait until | have hidden my
spade, and then | will come" While
they were having their meal the other
reprOached him bitterly for this indis-
erection. when one hides a thing" said
he, ''One ought to preserve silence, or, at
any rate, not speak above whisper;
for, in shouting as You did just now, one
invites people to steal" Dinner over,
the younger brother returned to the
field, looked for his spade and found ii
gone. So, running to his brother, he
whispered mysteriously in his ear, MY
spade is stolen"
There are other jokes in this curious
book, but the average standard OF
humor does not appear to be high.
Enough has been quoted to show the
kind of jest which tickles the inhabi
tants of the Flowery Land. If we were
to give many more it is to be feared that
the readers eyes might become as slant
ing and the corners of his mouth as
much depressed as those of the sad
faced Chinese himself.-Chicago Globe
NATURAL FATS.