Daily tobacco leaf-chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1890-1895, 1891-08-05

means well, and he's my friend, but will
say that Podley's got no more head for
measurements than horse.
"Podley looked over the staircase and
hall. 'Psbaw,' he said, 'you'n I'll take
hold of that and shake it up there while
you wait
u laid off my coat and lifted up the end
of the bed. That was about half-past 9
last Monday evening. Going up stairs
took the lower end When we got up high
enough the tall, ornamental back of the
bed jammed into the ceiling. 1t plowed
a jagged furrow in the plastering and the
jar hurt me good deal. That reminded
Podley that he'd have to lower his end. He
lowered the bed so the top cleared the cell
ing and the bottom struck on the next
stair. Then we lifted the bottom to clear
the stairs and the top got tangled in the
plastering. Podley thought / might lift
the bottom real quick, while he held down
on the top and got it by that way. Finally,
after we'd lifted and twisted and perspired
enough the combination came right and we
got it by the jog.
ut was easy enough then until we got it
to the top of the stairs, where the banisters
turn. OF course it was too broad to turn
there.
"Podley rested his end on the top step
and leaned over the banisters and en-
couraged me while the bed slowly tore the
flesh from the palms of my hands and
crunched my shin bones. Podley famed
himself and got facetious. Just at the last
gasp the landlady's husband came in He
flew to my relief We lifted the bed clear
over the banisters and set it down in the
narrow hall But we could neither turn it
80 as to get it through the bedroom door
nor get 1t back on the stairs again.
after that bed had finished me and Pod
ley up and reduced the landlady's husband,
WHO'S fleshy man, to a mere sosgy, pal
plating mass, we pushed it into room at
the head Of the stairs and quit
TUESDAY evening the landlady's hus-
band came up smiling and confident Tho
headpiece, he said, lifted right off We
opened the bed and lifted. Then we shut
1t up and stood it on its head and it's side
and its stomach The landlady's husband
eyed it critically in each position and shook
it and thumped it on the back. But moth
ing came of that, so we opened it and got
the landlady to sit on the bedpost while we
lifted on the headpiece. When we got tired
of doing that we shut it up and examined
it some more.
"Wednesday dropped in at n furniture
store and asked for an expert with crow
bar to come up and take my bed apart
The man said there was no need of sending
man. He'd show me that n child could
do it. Then he opened bed like mine
told me where to lift, and it came apart as
easy as anything. Invent home and laughed
at the landlady's husband. After dinner l
went to show him-but didn't.
Thursday | sent for the expert again.
Thursday evening went to dinner. The
landlady's husband was sitting on the
porch. He was deep lobster color. His
collar was nothing but yellowish rag,
and he drew his handkerchief ever and
anon across his brow.
Eyes he said dejectedly, your beds
apart, but it isn't in your room. The man
says he'll have to saw the headpicce in two.
it's too tall for the door. The man. he
continued, just went away. He came here
about 1870 One of your gears was sprung.
The landlady's husband mopped his brow
and looked away us one who accepts chas
tisement in Christian spirit.
Friday sent for the expert and his saw
and Friday night had the great happiness
of seeing my folding bed in my room
There in the ungrammatical language of
the poet, let it layp For I'll lodge in an
ash barrel before I'll ever attempt to move
it again. "-Chicago News