davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
BRIGHT BITS.

A HISDoo JOURNALIST declares that many
crowned heads are trembling in their shoes.
Neio York EUentng Post.
ToMMY-What part Of speech is "woman"
Papa-''Woman is no part of speech at all,
my son. She is the whole of it.-Jetdy
sMIrHKINs Hello, Doc What are you doings
The Doctor-Trying 70 kill time.
Smithkias-Why don't you prescribe for L IN?
Puck, f-
II HAVE such an indulgent husband" said
little Mrs. Doll
''Yes; SO George says" responded Mrs. Spite
full. Sometimes INDUCES too much, doesn
he?''-Boston Transcript.
my THEORY about Hamlet" said Baconius,
mysteriously, is that he was printer"
And on what do yousbase this theory?'
| asked Criticua
Ion that line in which he says, Either sub
due the devil or throw him out.-BditinlOTe
| American.
Mr. SAPHEAD-Ive got fad, too. don't ye
know. collect old and rare violins. Come
| around and see m.
Musician--Do you blay?
Mr. Saphead-Bless you, no, not note.
Musician (enthusiastically)-Iyil come.-Ne1o
| York Weekly.
PENELOPE ADAMs-Are you an admirer of Ad-
| olson. Mrs Nueboddy?
| Mrs. NuebOddy-O, my, yes
Penelope AdamS-And what think you was
| his best effort?
Mrs Nueboddy-The phonograph, by all odds.
| HGrper's Bazdr.
FIRST AMATEUR PHoToGRAPHER-I wish /
| could invent good dark room.
Second Amateur Photographer-Why don't
| you do as do?
First Amateur Photographer do you do ?
Second Amateur Photographer-Hire fiat in
| Brooklyn.-EIck
HIS SIsTER-Had you heard that Laura Figgs'
| pug has run away?
| He-Well, what of it?
His Sister-O, nothing, only thought that IL
| you intend proposing now is your time. A
| woman's heart is often caught on the rebound,
| you know.-ChicdgO NeIcs.
You APPEAR to have caught EN-" observed
| the manager, as the leading actor came rush
| ing hastily behind the scenes.
| Yes said the actor, wiping the remains of
| a belated egg from the folds of his Roman toga
| and lodging a cabbage fired after him from
| be coming my way. Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. B1LKNs-I never saw such a forgetful
man in my life ss you are. The clock has
| stopped again.
Mr. Bllkns-Tbat's because you forgot to
| wind it,
Mrs. Bilkins-Hun You know very well
| Mr.. Bilkins, that told you to remind me to
wind it, ana you forgot about it.-New YorI
Weekly.
A SHORT TIME AGO an old negro was up be-
| fore Judge Guerry of Dawson charged with
some trivial offense Haven't you a lawyer
Old maa:, inquired the judge.
Cant you get oneF"
Don't you want me to appoint one 20 defend
NO, sab; I jes' tho't I'd leab the case to de
| ign ance OBJ de cot QuttmGn Free Press.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
Lopgfeliow in Chicago Literature

have poem here I'd like to know if you
will print" said a solemn, ethereal sort of a
man coming into the editorial bungalow of a
Chicago newspaper recently.
The editor reached under the desk for his
gun but saluted his visitor politely.
Let me see 1t" he almost commanded.
solemn man as he handed il to him.
The editor took it and began reading.
why" he blurted out on the first line,
this Is LoDgfellow'S Psalm of Life What
do you mean by trying to palm this off on meg
will you print IT. urged the visitor.
"Of course not. Do you think I'm a blamed
fool to print one Of the finest poems in the Ian.
guage, handed in by such a looking apology
for poet as you are No, a hun"
Then you refuse to print it, - he said taking
the poem of the desk and interrupting the
EDITORS flow of language.
Il most emphatically do. and il you don't get
out OF this in two minutes I'll throw you out of
the window"
Don't do it." pleaded the visitor. almost
earnestly, as he began to back out with consid-
cradle haste. II want to live long enough tc
help eat a champagne supper. I've won on q
bet that there was an editor in this town who
didn't know any better than to reject one o.
LonRfelow's poems. I'm from St. Louis anC
you Chicago people seem to think you know
It all and twice as much more. 1t was Ohicag,
IiteYdtti as he called himself, that / had til,
bet with, and maybe you'd better come arounC
and help us the supper. I'll see if he II senC
you up an invite. There's nothing mean abou
me. / don't care II don't look like 1 coulC
fel see you later" and the editor got up anC
staggered over TO the window for fresh air al
the solemn man slammed the door and wen
down the stairs.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
Cen. Oates Coming CampaIen.

Representative Oates of Alabama has taken
the stump against the farmers alliance in his
state, says the New York World, and proposes
to make the strongest campaign of his lfe He
is a born fighter. An empty sleeve attestS his
gallantry on the field of battle. few days
ago Col. Oates had occasion to visit the war de-
partment. There he met for the first time Act
ing Secretary Grant, who commanded brigade
in the army of the Potomac with distinction.
''Were you at Cedar Mountain, colonel?'
asked the secretary.
Il have very distinct recollection of being
there replied Oates, and for the time it
lasted it was the hottest place l ever got into.
Do you remember seeing just the battle be-
gan battery take position on the mountain
side?'
Very distinctly" said the secretary. They
were six pound Napoleons and when l close my
eyes | can see them shining in the sunlight OF
that magnificent afternoon twenty-nine years
ago"
DO you remember seeing regiment OF in
fautry come up to their support when Craw-
ford let loose on Jackson's left and killed Win
der, who commanded the Stonewall brigade?''
Yes, saw and admired the work of that
regiment"
WELL was captain in that regiment. said
Oates. Those we're hot campaigns, but I'm
going down TO Alabama now to take q hand in
one that promises to be quite as hot as Cedar
Mountain. left an arm on a battlefield and
shall endeavor not to leave my body on this
one
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
An Educated Dog Meets an Admiral

6h Ell hSGbCO Lug GAS6GS I'll 6QiQlTal.
An old admiral whose long sea service had
given his legs a decided out ward curvature,
says the San Francisco Argonuut. once had a
singular adventure on this account with a ships
pet.
The crew of the ship owned a large black
spaniel, and took great pains in teaching him
TO jump. A man, standing up, would put one
foot against the othsr knee. thus making hole
for Nep, the dog to make his leap through. The
dog always jumped through the aperture
readily. though if his trainers legs happened 10
be short it was rather tight squeeze.
One day the admiral came aboard from the
flagship on a visit of inspection. Happening to
walk to the forward part of the ship he stood
there for a few minutes converSing with the
officer who had attended him.
Here he was sped by the dog. Nep stood a
moment surveying the admrals bow legs. Sud
denly the dog made rush at the legs and made
leap through the tempting gap.
In establishment at the black tornado that
had passed beneath him, the admiral whIrled
quickly about to see what was the cause. The
dog took this action as signal for an encore"
and jumped again.
Once more the admiral turned, and again the
dog jumped. The bewidered face of the ad-
miral and the serious attention of Nep to what
he imagined was his business were too much
for the gravity of the bystanders, and forget
ting the respect due to rank, they all roared
with laughter.
A sailor however had enough presence OF
mind to break from the crowd and catch the
dog by the collar. He led him off and Nep
seemed to wonder why he did not receive the
praise due to such spirited efforts
The excited admiral got but an imperfect ex-
PLANTATION of the affair from the spectators, for
they could hardly tel him that his legs had
been used as kind of circus hoop for fore
castle dog. Perhaps to his dying day the oc-
currence was mystery to him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
TIE supreme Court Bill.

The action Of the House refusing TO sub
nit to the people the question Of increasing
the snDrerne court to Eve members Is re-
qreteble. There is no doubt that the court
has more business than it can attend to
properly. And nothing is more necessary
10 the welfare of the state than that the
decisions Of its highest court should be the
result Of most careful research and dehbera-
ton. Hasty decisions are apt 20 be errone-
Gus. and business transactions, involving
| millions Of dollars, based upon them, are
pretty certain, sooner or later, TO cause
financial disasters.
The court as at present constituted man
ages to get through with the work it has to
do, but the judges are under a constant
strain and. therefore, are not in a condition
to give that attention TO all the cases
brought before them that they should.
Oyerworked and worried by the burden
piled upon them they are likely to make
grave errors. And who can say that such
errors will not jeopardize vast amounts OF
property and even human life.
The chief justice was unfortunate in
statement he made in letter Of his pub
lloueu A2si AhoSuaSy ho S0AN sANS
having finished writing the opinion in the
last case on hand, and having nothing TO
do, he would write letter to the news
papers. This statement was used against
the bill, aud probably hoped to defeat it. 1t
should have had no effect upon the House,
however, because the meaning OF the chief
justice was plain. He had been doing work
in the brief vacation which his duties per-
mitted him to take. and be was at last able
TO take little needed rest. There are those,
however, who are always ready TO accept
anything as an excuse for doing whatever
they desire TO, and doubtless members who
voted against the bill excused themselves
for dong so on the ground that the supreme
court could not be overburdened if the
chief justice admitted be had nothing to do.
But that the court is overhurdened is
shown by the fact that there is one county
that sends more cases TO it now than the
whole state sent when the court was first
established And not only ought the num-
Der of the judges be increased, but their
salaries should also be increased. These re-
forms must he made in the near future.
The need of them is too apparent for them
to be long delayed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
An Incident in Henry olay's Life.

An old Kentucky politician, writes a New
York World Washington correspondent. takes
hand in the discussion as TO whether Henry
Clay ever swore, with an emphatic affirmation
that his profanity was as picturesque and i'm
pressiVe as the other order of his eloquence.
Clay, says this gentleman. never forgot face
a name or a kindness. and in this connection he
tells story OF how Clay. when on a trip down
the OHIO river, happened to meet a planter
named Obediah Reach, whom, when a young
man, years ago, he had known as a barkeeper
at frankfort. Clay recognized Reach at once
ana insisted that he come into the cabin after
the crowd had retired When Reach came in
Mr.. Clay stepped forward and, taking his hand,
said: "Obe, owe you $50" Reach smiled
ana replied; NO, you don't, Mr.. Clay. I've
long since called that isquare" NO" per
sisted Clay, Il owe you $50, and l intend to
tell these gentlemen all about it." He then
narrated how, when young member of the
legislature, he was engaged one night in a stiff
game or draw poker IN a tavern at Frankfort.
and, having been cleaned out by his compan-
ions, had gone to Reach for assistance and been
Obliged by a loan of $50. And then. turning
again to Reach, he resumed: And Inever paid
it back. Now must have that bill-S50 and
lnterest-and when l get back home III send
you tue money. Reach, still smiling, but by
this time struggling with large and growing
lumpin his throat, replied mo, Mr. Clay, we
must call that square. The other boys got that
money almost as soon as you put il down. No,
sir, If il wasn't square before it's square now"
BY this time Keach's voice thick and his
eyes were trifie misty, and Mr.. Clay, moved
by the homely, generous sentiments expressed.
was no better off. They shook hands again
with genuine fervor, and after sampling the
captains toddy for the fourth time the party
broke up. Clay, upon his return TO Ashland
sent Reach handsome walking cane with an
autograph letter expressive of friendship and
good wishes
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
Fassett's Promotion.

Mr.. Tom Platt, the republican boss OF
New York. had Mr. J. Slost Fassett ap-
pointed collector of the port of New York.
and on Wednesday he had him nominated
by the republican convention at Rochester
for governor. Mr.. Fassett is a typical re-
publican politician. His object is the sue
cess of himself and his party. He cares
very little about the good Of the country.
Mr.. Fassett has been collector at New
York little more than a month, and during
the most OF the time he has been doing politi-
cal work, for which he is much better fitted
than he is for the duties Of collector. In
fact, he is not fitted for collector at all, not
because of any lack of ability, for he has
plenty of that. but because he has no in
clination for the routine duties of the col
lector's Office.
A first-class man was forced out of the
collectors office to make room for him be-
cause it was we'll understood that he could
and would use the custom house in a parti-
san manner. He is expected to have chosen
a delegation from New York to the national
convention favorable to Gen. Harrison, and
he will do it if it can be done.
The republican politicians of New York
are pretty well satisfied with his nominal
ton for governor, and they ought to be,
because he represents not only the boss OF
the party and the President. but also the
party itself, about as fully as it is possible
20 represent them. With him the end JUS
tiffes the means, and not only will he pros
titute the great Office under his control, but
he will resort to all the tactics known to q
willy politician, to SECURE his election to the
governorship. And whatever he does will
be approved by the President and all the
other leaders of the party that falsely
assumes to have only the good of the people
in view.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
Business Prospects Brighter.

/
There is much better feeling IN DusineSS
/ circles than there was week or TWO ago.
And this feeling is becoming more HPpai @"
every day. Indeed, the outlook throoK"ou'
the country for healthy revival IN Iraue'
aud in enterprises Of one kind ana aho'ner'
il extremely encouraging. business men
sneak more hopefully Of the luIule, anu
make contracts with greater commence
Thav act AS il they fe,t that period OF
o,rost busipess prosperity was at hand.
Al there are good reasons for this con-
-, - of7sirs In the west an extraor-
,5inoriIv large wheat crop has just been har-
vested. and, owing to crJp failures III Eu>
rome. good prices are being obtained tor II.
N +ha s3uth the cotton crop will be good
/ o,o notwithstanding the damage it has
.,tferai in localities. and the prospect is
that il will command better prices as the
Season advances. There has been an Gd-
vance Of a cent q pound in cotton since the
opening Of the SEASON. aad a still further adj
vance in the very near future Is probable.
It's true that there was little falling off
in the price yesterday, owing to the favora-
bic report of the condition Of the crop sent
out By the agricultural department, but
the market, it is safe to say, will soon re-
gain its firmness.
All of these things help to make those
who are engaged in business holder in their
undertakings, and cause the strong boxes in
which money has been boarded to be I'M
locked. Money is now abundant in New
York and it will soon be much easier to get
in all the other cities aud towns of the
country. With plenty of money in circu-
lation, there will be unusual activity in
trade and in the promotion Of industrial ell
terprises.
In this immediate locality the general
sentiment seems to be that the present sea-
son will be a prosperous one. The rice
crop promises to be larger, aud the indica-
tons are that it will be harvested in ex-
cellent condition. Cotton is a little back
ward, but the receipts will soon be enor-
nous, and will put good deal of money
into circulation. Both the wholesale and
the retail merchants recognize marked
improvement in trade, and are anticipating
a very prosperous season.
And in the interior towns a better con-
dition of affairs is noticeable. The mer>
chants feel that money is circulating much
more freely, and consequently they are
encouraged TO be more liberal in their
purchases What has been needed for
months more than any thing else is CON
fidence, and that now seems TO be in fair
way of being fully restored. With con-
fidence will come money, and with money
,,pueual activity In oil danarfnpnts Of busi-
ness and industry.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
MEDICAL
HEALTH IS WEALTH |

DR. E c. WEsr's NERVE AND BRAIN Tpn,u
MINT, guaranteed specific for Hysteria n;-a;
moss, Commissions, Fits, Nervous Nenrs T,zzi'
Headache Nervous Prostration caused by tba1;, ~
of alcohol or tobocco. Nakefulness Mentei9 us Sso
preston, Softening Of the Brain resuting n 70
sanity and leading to misery. decay and dan ~
Premature Old Age, BarrennesS, .oss Of pam
In either sex. Involuntary Losses and Spsrnoose
orrhOea caused by over-exertion of the brai s
abuse or oyerindulgence. Each box conts s1l.
one months treatment. 81 90 a box orsix bins
for s. 90. sent hy mail PREPAID on receirt ~
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES "rlce.
To cure any case. With each order receiva5 H.,
US for six boxes, accompanied with IS 40 W.
vii send the purchaser our written gIlarantas
TO refund the money If the treatment does me-
effect cure. Guarantees issued only by TIE
HEIDI DRUG CO, Sole Agents. Savannah az
For Chatting, Prfckly Heat, use Boracine Toiss
Powder IS cents. -ONos
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

; T1,o Mopyrye NEWS is on file at the following
.,,isoes where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained
NEW YORK CITY
J. H BATES. 81 Park Row.
g. P RowELL & Co., 10 spruce street.
". W. SHARP & Co., y Park Row
FRANK KIEREAS & Co. 1872 Broadway.
DAUcHY & Co. q Park Place.
J. W. THOMPSON, SO Park Row.
AMERIoAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
N W. AVER & SoN, Times Building.
BOSTON
q. r. MUS, 256 Washington street
PErrEEGILL 6 Co.. 10 state street.
CHICAGO
I,oRp & THOMAS. Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
Erwin ALDEN COMPANY, 6e West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
THR H P. HUBBARD COMPANY, p Elm street.
ST. LOUIS
ATLANTA
MoRN1Na News BUREAU, Sla Whitehall street.
MACON
DAILY TKLEeRAPH OFFICE. 5s7 Mulberry street.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES takes infinite care
OF himself. and is particularly watchful against
the approach Of an attack of pneumonia The
rooms Of his house are equipped with Their
mometers barometers and aerometers. and he
never rises in the N rning without knowing the
temperature of his bedroom, or takes his bath
until the water has been accurately tested He
lives by infexibe rules, and strives to avoid
the slightest risk OF taking cold. His time is
scrupulously divided, and his meals are studies
OF prudence. The doctor views the approach
Of death with philosophic fortitude but is said
to have an eager curiosity to see how long he
can live by vigorously following the laws he has
prescribed for himself.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
INDRY TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEEr1NGs-KniEhts of Pythias Tybee Club.
SPECIAL NoTICEs-Planters' Rice Mill Notice
: George J. Mills, Secretary and Treasurer; Rice
Mills Notice; Savannah Steam Rice Mil; AS tC
, Crew of British Steamship Norfolk.
AMUsEMENTs-. Chathams vs. Mutuals, al
Bolton Street Park To-day
LEGAL SALEs-Administrator' Sale, by Jor-
dan F. Brooks. Administrator.
KNOX OUT ALB. H. Levy & Bro,
RAILRoAD-South Bound Railroad Company.
BEDRooN SuITEs--M. Boiey & Son.
B STEAMSHIP SCHEDULES - Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS 49, Help
Wanted Employment Wanted, For Rent, For
Sale, Lost. Personal Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

Applicants for official positions in the
government departments at Washington are
so numerous and importunate and pathetic
in their appeals that the appointment clerk
of the interior department says he has to
keep his heart locked up IN TIE safety
vaults of the department as a protection
against moving tales q woe that are
every day brought before him by the score.
Further appointments just now. he says,
are mathematical impossibility, because
there is neither room nor money for more
people than are already engaged Still peo-
pie will persist in struggling for govern
ment appointments when they could make
much more money in far more satisfac-
tory way in civil life.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

Above al other foreign securities Baron
HRothschild commends to his relatives and
friends who seek investment the American
railways es gilt-edged and profitable shares
combining ''the maximum of probable
profit and the minimum of risk" In a re-
cent letter of advice the great London
banker said that during the unhappy cir
cumstances that have demoralized the whole
financial world during the year past Amer
lea has doomed up almost alone unhurt and
stalwart. What has damaged the rest of
the world has largely, indeed. been &c
Americas advantage" This demonstrates
the confidence of sound and experienced
fnanclers in the stability of our republican
institutions.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11
Registered at the Posto6ioe in savannah.


The MORNING NEws is published every day II
the year and is served TO subscribers in the 9Th
at IS cents week, 81 90 a month, s. 90 for siz
months and $40 co for one year.
The MoRNISG News, bv mail. one month
81 90; three months 81 so; six months, s. %
one year. $40 CO.
The MORNING NEWS, By mail, six times a weel
without Sunday issue,. three months, 81 o.
six months. 81 %; one gear, S. 90.
The MoRSING NEWS, Tri-Weekly, Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays, three months 81 .; SIX
months, 81 so; one year, IS 90. ~
The SUNDAY NEWS, by mail, one year, y %:
The WEEKLY NEWS, By mail, one year, 81 ~
Subscriptions payable in advance KeInIt %
postal order check or registered letter. Cuf
rency sent by mail at risk OF senders' l,,-assaj
Letters and kilograms should Do H1N
sslioRNING News, - Savannah, Ga ,;aI
Transient advertisements, other tnan $500
eolumn, local or reading NOTICES; - 8
uaents and cheap or want column ~ oVni' 70
line. Fourteen lines OF agate type-t5S-d5 If
one inch space in depths the s,aI IiHno,pts
measurement Contract rates auu III go
made known on application al business Oloo, -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

So anxious is Candidate Jones to be
made the democratic nominee for gov
ernor of New York that he
is actually trying to get Mr..
Cleveland imbroiled in his troubles and his
hard scuffie with the various styles of
Gratis. Thereupon he has taken occasion
to point a letter at the ex-President in the
course of which he remarks that Mr..
Cleveland's strength as a presidential can
didate lies in his strength with the masses,
the wage-earners, the toilers and pro-
.ducers"-of whom Jones is which presuma-
bly,. Notwithstanding the big pile of
thousands that the great freight hquidator
has accumulated on common country scales
he is still anxious for a short whet longer
to sustain the plebian reputation that be
has established.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-11

Whatever the luxurious travelling dele
gates Of the Augusta exposition secure in
the way of exhibits or encouragement In the
eastern cities, they are evidently provided
with the requisite paraphernalis for having
slathers of fun, and they have no fixed
and unalterable intention of lodging it
when 1t comes along.