davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
wHEN DOCTORS pIsAoRee.
II IL Good Enough for the Profession, but
Hard ON the Patient.

II IL Good Enough for the Profession, but
Hard ON the Patient
| DR.. Pillsbury, OF the Naval service
was married about three years ago to
a lovely young Los Angeles lady. but
was almost Immediately ordered to
join tho Asiatic squadron. his bride re-
naming here. From one emergency
or another he was kept abroad until n
few weeks ago. During his absence
his wife prepared surprise for her
husband by studying medicine. I'm
fortunately. however. she entered a
homeopathic college, her husband be-
ing Of the allopathic persuasion.
She had just received n diploma
when her husband returned, but they
had hardly exchanged affectionate
greetings when messenger came
rushing in to say that a man had just
fallen out OF third-story window
around the block and for whom a ply
stefan was required at once. The hus-
band made haste to obtain his instru-
ments, but when he reached the scene
OF the accident he was astonished ut
beholding his wife engaged in feeling
the patients pulse.
What does this meanP" exclaimed
the surprised practitioner.
II forgot to tell you, darling" ex-
planned his wife. You see, l am a
regularly qualified homeopathic physi-
clan"
homeopathic" sneered the hus-
band. getting very red in the face.
Eyes, pet, said the doctress sweetly.
This dosing people with bucketfuls
Of slops is getting sut OF date, pre-
cious."
'And so you have actually been
roped in by that gang of pilule-peddling
piratesp"
Don't be rude, my dear" replied
the female specialist. "You can't ex-
pect to keep up with the march of sci
ence in China just stand back and
let me save the patient.
Save fiddlesticks" snapped the
allopath. go home. woman, and
cease trifling with human life or per-
haps you had better scrape lint while
| resuscitate the subject"
why don't you two quit fighting
and go to work." said the victims
wife, who had just concluded she
wouldn't look we'll in black.
when this female person with
draws" said DIR. p, stifiiy, II shall
proceed in the regular way"
Il will not be answerable for the
consequences until this old fogy is re-
moved, T" snapped his wife.
You're quack!" roared the male
M. ID.
You're a butcher!" screamed the
female one. And in this way they
went on until somebody announced
that the man was dead.
And now the judge says that If he
refuses their divorce petition he's
afraid they'll begin practicing on each
other and he thinks there have been
enough murders committed recently as
il is
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13

A Newspaper Reporter FIoated Her
In the SWIM

In the SWims
"You know Miss, who lives on
Seventeenth street," asked q maiden
with short, curly, blonde hair OF a
companion with roguish brown eyes
as the two exchanged confidence in the
corner of q Fifteenth street car the
other afternoon.
"Slightly," replied she Of the brown
eyes.
"Do you know how she became so
popular insociety?" pursued she with
the short hair.
Haven't the least idea"
"Well, you know, she was at the
seashore last summer. She had the
good luck to become acquainted with
u newspaper reporter and he Heated
her in the swim When anything
took place her name was foremost
among those who participated. Every
body saw it, and she has become the
60"
''And does the newspaper reporter
continue in hergood graceg" innocent
ly inquired the brown-eyed maiden.
Horrors! No; you silly goose, she
has no further use for him."
That's real mean," observed the
other.
Now, do you know" continued she
with the short hair, "that have re-
solved to become acquainted with
some newspaper reporter when 60 to
the seashore next summer" and then
these two girls, barely in their teens,
fell to chewing gum in a manner that
would have made the face OF q mon:
key ache.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
Local Pride in the Northwest.

Senator Frye stepped in to shake
hands with the club few evenings
ago. The conversation naturally turned
on home industry, whereat the senator,
who is the prince OF story tellers, re-
marked:
II was in Washington at Spokane
Falls last year and was entertained by
one of the local boomers. He was a
patriarchal old fellow with a long
beard. who looked like a deacon and
was worth five or six million dollars.
''He took me out to drive behind a
pair of fine horses and showed me the
town. One Of the objects that attracted
my attention was very long building
"a tremendous affair, one of the long
est buildings ever saw in my life.
+" How many gambling games do
you suppose there are in that building
asked my friend, the patriarch.
=" Give it up, said l.
'Thirty-nine of 'em, said he in q
triumphant tone.
" Graciousr said /. And how many
barsp'
"'Thirty-nine.'
" Now look here, my friend said
1; You must destroy that thing, or it
will destroy you
What do you meanp' he demanded.
20 'Meanp / mean that you ought
to drive it out of town.
Good God, SENATOR said he, If
Te lose it Tacoma III get it, "-Lewis-
ton Journal.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13

whs regarded with tho greatest fear
and generation after this IL was put
away on the top shelf in the pantry
and never used. but 1t underwent a
daily inspection TO see II the sable
shadow Of death had again made It's
appearance. But as months rolled
on and nothing unusual was noticed
the family watched II less and less
closely. and finally they forgot 1t alto
gether.
Some two years afterward my grand.
mother and her mother CHANGED to be
alone In the house. MS the small chill
dren were all at school and the larger
boys were In the woods with their
father telling trees.
They were sitting In the kitchen. bus
lily mending and the house was as
still as death. when suddenly there was
loud crash in the pantry. Both ran
ut once to see what was the cause oil
1t.
There lay the old pitcher In shat
tered fragments. From some unknown
cause 1t had fallen from its position on
the top shelf, and been shivered to
atoms on the bare floor below. AT
the first glance 1t was apparent to
both that the pieces of the broken
vessel were almost as black as ink.
My grandmother and great grand
mother gazed at each other at the shat
tered pitcher for an instant in SUPER
stitious horror, and then they both fled
to the kitchen. How long the mysteri-
GUS vessel had been turning neither of
them was able to say. as no one had
looked at it for considerable time;
but turned it evidently was. What
did 1t portendp
They shrank close together in their
alarm; and as they were conversing
in terrified whispers about the prodigy
my grandmother happened to look out
OF the window and saw one OF the boys
coming in from the woodlot and run
ming like deer. He burst into the
kitchen with great Mortified eyes and
cheeks like ashes, crying out as he did
so:
Mother! Sarah! The wind has
tipped a big yellow birch the wrong
way, and father is out in the woods
with his head crushed fiat under tree
three feet through"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
The Poverty Of a Rich Man.

A story illustrating the recent tight
ness Of the money market is told of a
millionaire business man who has an
Office in lower Broadway, in New York.
He desired to raise the sum of $15, 900
on his personal note. He sent 1t to the
bank with which he kept his account,
with request that it should be dis
counted. This the bank officers re-
fused to do. He then sent it to several
of his wealthy friends, but none OF
them could accommodate him. Finally
he sat down to his desk and with grim
humor drew u note for IS, pinned to it
$40 bank note issued by his own
bank, got several OF his millionaire
friends to indorse the note, and then
sent 1t down to his bank with q courte-
ously worded message, asking II they
would discount that note for him!
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
3, ONE LESSON ENovoH.
How A. r. Stewart was Cured Of o
Desire to Speculate.

How A. T. Stewart was Cured Of o
Desire to Speculate.
This reminds me, says q writer in
the New York Press, of an episode in
the life ofthe great merchant prince OF
New York, the late A. Il. Stewart. It
was during the war when gold was at
premium and jumping about with
every war report like jumping-jack
on the end OF a string. 1t hadgoneu up
to such APPOINT that some people were
beginning to wonder if it would not
eventually bequoted in four figures.
If big G eneral was killed it would
jump up ten points. If there was q
rebel victory or rumors of one it
would jump up twenty, thirty or forty
points. If there was a Union victory
or a pospect of peace it would fall like
plummet. A. Il. Stewart was then
in the height of his great career, and
he had never engaged in speculation of
any but the solid kind, known as
business"
But he got notion that with his
lollS Odllh uICOuilU uDt1 Oik CICulU ITO
could take few flyers in gold and
make millions in them in a hurry, in
stead of pursuing the old humdrum
course of buying goods at low prices
and selling them at profit per yard.
So he went down to Levi p. Morton,
now Vice President of the United
States, who was leading banker in
Wall Street, and through the firm of
which Mr.. Morton was q member he
began to operate in gold. He kept it
up for nearly year. In that time he
dropped into the laps of his more
fortunate rivals in the race for gain %
cool million dollars. A million dol
lars was vast amount of money
even for A. Il. Stewart to lose, and it
cooled his brain when he found by ex-
animation of his bank accounts how
much he had lost in the whirlpool of
speculation. He withdrew from spec
ulation as abruptly as he had entered
into it, charged his losses to his profit
and loss account, and made this COM
ment on the subject to his most init
mate friend: Hilton, it's good rule
to follow never to depart from any
line of business in which one is engaged
and has followed successfully for an
other line of which one knows nothing.
What did know about gold?"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
A story OF Andrew jackson.

Andrew jackson was one of our
leading presidential tourists, and he
was one Of tho best mix ers among the
presidents. He was good judge OF
human nature and always adapted
himself to his surroundings. He was
worshiped by the democracy, and
during his tour thousands OF babies
were presented for him to kiss. He
was kind-hearted man and he did
kiss few hundreds of them. but he
often relegated the duty to his cabinet,
who accompanied him. Colonel A. r.
Boteler, who was member Of the con-
gress OF the United States before the
war, was attending Princeton college
when jackson made one OF these tours,
and he accompanied the procession
from Princeton to Trenton. During
the trip, while General jackson and
General Eaton were riding along in
the carriage together, q lean, long,
lank, homely woman was seen rushing
across the field with baby in her
arms. She headed of the procession
and crawled through the fence just as
jackson and Eaton came up. Presi-
dent jackson stopped the carriage and
spoke to her. She held up the baby
and he noticed that its face was well
covered with molasses. He seized the
child and then holding it out before
him, said: Madam, you have fine
son here, and he may be president OF
tho United States some day. He will
doubtless do credit to you, and his face
is a sweet one. He thereupon thrust
him toward General Eaton, and said,
Here, Eaton, you kiss him" and this
the secretary OF war did, making the
woman smile with Joy.
1t took jackson month to come
from Tennessee to Washington. He
had an old-fashioued family coach
which had been presented to his wifi.
about the time he built the Hermitage
1t was very heavy, but he would not
ride in any other.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
Practical.

"Speakin' O. doctors" said old man
Hensley, "the ones they turn out now
adays, out o. these here medicle in
stitoots, amt practice. Only things
they learn is lot the'ries 'et they
can't put to no arthley use; en- they
goes on, O. dopin' nd dosin' people
Cordin' tn what these yur books tells
'em; but they amt parcticle; no, sir.
Member one fall, nine years ago, fell
ler't was workin' for Alb Hopkins took
mighty sick, all NV a sudden; want
no doctor 'ithin sixteen mile 'cept'n
ole Doc Crantz, en- he wuz q vet'nary
boss doctor; but ole Doc knew whut
it wuz, you betchu; said a hoss's dose
fer tibet there same sickness wuz four
poun's en- so he fggered et boss
weighed fifteen hundred, en- this yur
Teller weighed one-fifty, ies' one-tenth
es heavy, yu unerstan'; en- so he gin
i'm one-tenth NV hoss's dose in per-
portion. Thet there's what / termin-
ate applyin' yer the'ries.
"Whut's tibet? Oh, in bout an
hour; butt want no ways likely ct
that killed him; he'd "a prob'ly died
any way."-Puck.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
SICILIAN CHARACTER.
PECULIAR TRAITS OBSERVED
AMONG THEM AT HOME.
notwithstanding Their Apparent simpiio-
ity They Are q Strange Mixture OF
Deceit, Malice and vindio-
tiveness.

/
A late British consular report from
Sicily remarks that there are dark
shades in the Sicilian character which
contrast with the simplicity by which
one might imagine the people to be
wholly possessed. They can be deceit
full. reticent, malicious, and vindictive;
petty thefts and robberies are not I'M
common; 1t Is said, also, that in graft
tude they are sometimes wholly def
cient. 1t Is significant that to be
'scaltro" (cunningly cleverl, is with
them meritorious quality. and that
advantageous lying is regarded with
favor, even in children.
Owing to the spirit of 'mafa" and
"omerta, which pervades all Sicily,
they combine to hide each others mis-.
deeds, and in the case of robbery, and
even assassination, it is generally i'm
possible to get evidence against the
wrong-doers, even from the victims
themselves. There is secret UNDER
standing among all that no one shall
assist the legal authorities in their
efforts to bring criminals to justice,
and the Sicilian, as rule, relies on
himself and on his friends for obtain
Ing retribution for private wrongs, and
every one who transgresses this UNI
written law has to fear the vendetta of
his neighbors.
One OF the most disagreeable traits
In their character is excessive cruelty
to animals Of which travellers in Sicily
frequently have seen revolving in
GtnnnnG Whnn mi
account of this they simply shrug their
shoulders and say: What matterp
They are not baptized" They cannot
comprehend that any creature has any
claim to consideration outside pale of
the church. Frightful raws in horses
and donkeys go unnoticed, and are fed
on by flies; deep holes are plugged
with tow. and lame animals are made
to work with heavy loads as though
nothing was the matter with them.
AS for relieving a horse or donkey
OF heavy burden going up hill, such
a thing never enters their heads. To
see a country cart crammed with peo-
pie behind horse which can scarcely
stagger under its heavy load, and to
observe that no one ever endeavors to
relieve the poor animal in the most
difficult passages, is a common occur
renee. Live poultry is carried to the
market slung from pack saddles. or by
pedestrians from the hand. by the legs
The birds keep their heads up as long
rs strength endures, till at last they
can do so no longer, and die
q painful death by rush of
blood to the head. Children are, it is
said, taught cruelty to animals from
infancy, for one of the commonest
sights in town and country is to see
children playing with newly caught
robin redbreasts, goldfinches, which
they hold tied by the leg with a string,
and pull back when the poor bird
attempts to fly.
Another defect in the character and
habits Of the Sicilian peasant is lack of
cleanliness. But in spite of all these,
the report concludes, the general de-
meanor and habits of the Sicilian are
so pleasing that one feels inclined to
regard his deficiencies with much
leniency.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
Too Much.

The Lewiston Journal prints story
of q man who lived several years ago
on one of the islands OF Maine, and
was commonly reputed to be q miser.
The anecdote does not OF itself estab-
fish the truth of this common report,
but it shows pretty conclusively that
he was not man of the world.
He possessed considerable property,
and one winter, during the session OF
the legislature, had occasion to visit
Augusta. He Stepped into res
taurant for dinner, and the waiter
spread before him the printed bill Of
fare.
The novice took it for bill of
charges. He ran his eye Over it quick
ly footed up the figures at the right
OF the page. Then he sprang to his
feet in Indignation.
"Whatl' said he, "all that to pay,
and haint eat mouthful YETI"
No doubt he thought Augusta peo-
ple q set of sharpers, and according to
the Journal, on his next visit to the
capital he carried with him q peil OF
victuals. ~
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
A Sequel to 1t.

He had push-cart full OF "the
latest and best" novels, says the New
York Sun, and had just opened up on
the corner of Third avenue and
Twenty-seventh street when young
woman stopped and inquired:
"Have you a real good book"
~ have, lady," he replied. "Here is
the lates. thing out and just what
will please you. Let's see!"
sis it real entertaining"
"The entertainingest book published
for year, miss, as Pm willing to
swear to. I was so interested in it
that l sat up all night and never went
to the bank next day. All! here it is:
How She Won Him. Tells you all
about how a young woman of-of-well
about "a, miss, and the very picture
OF yourself, begging your pardon, won
n lovely husband who was so rich that
he gravel-roofed his stable with pearls
and diamonds. 1t gives you an in
sight into -"
"How much?" she interrupted, as
she took out her purse.
FIFTY cents, miss, and as l was
going to-"
"l'il take it."
She dropped him a half, took the
book, and passed on, and the old fell
low had twinkle in his eyes as he
looked after her and muttered:
"She'll be along again in three or
four days, and then I'll sell her the
sequel to it: How He Skipped Out
After lie Was Won Got to study
human nature in these dull times"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
Epidemic. I'm Japan.

The remarkable popularity Of the
grip In Japan was its prevalence
among the upper classes, whereas the
cholera selected its victims among the
poorer people. Some idea Of the ex-
tent OF the epidemic may be gathered
from the fact that at Yokohama, the
sufferers officially reported numbered
over so, 600. and It Is estimated that
the unreported cases throughout the
prefecture were nearly twice as great.
OF the 1870, 1000 inhabitants Of Kobe,
$4,000 were attacked by the disease.
In Toxic the epidemic ragged with
great virulence. and similar reports
come from some Of the Chinese cities.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
DYSPEPSIA AND Badness.
Men with Feeble stomachs Are Apt to
Lose Their Hair.

Dyspepsia is one Of the most COM
mon causes of badness. Nature is a
great economizer and when the
nutrient elements furnished by the
blood are insufficient to properly sup
port the whole body she cuts off the
supply to parts the least vital, like the
hair and nails, that the heart, lungs
and other vital organs may be the bot
ter nourished. In cases of severe fevers
this economy is particularly notice
able. A single hair is sort OF history
of the physical condition of an individ-
ual during the time it has been grow
ing, if one could read closely enough.
Take a hair from the beard or from
the head and scrutinize it and you will
see that it shows some attenuated
places, indicating that at some period
of its growth the bloody supply was
deficient from overwork, anxiety or
under feeding.
The hair falls out when the strength
OF its roots is insufficient to sustain it's
weight any longer, and new hair will
take its place unless the root is diseased,
explains Halls journal of Health.
For this reason each person has GER
tain definite length OF hair. When the
hair begins to split or fall out massage
of the scalp is excellent. Place the
tips of the fingers firmly upon the scalp
and then vibrate or move the scalp
while holding the pressure steadily.
This will stimulate the blood vessels
underneath and bring about better
nourishment of the hair. A brush OF
unevenly tufted bristles is also excel
lent to use upon the scalp, not the
hair.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
DuclIng In France.

It is limited that nowadays. when the
French authorities hear of an impend-
ing duel, they distress themselves only
over the violation OF the law, not hav-
ing much reason to apprehend any loss
of human life.
A French satirist processes to have
overheard the following fierce CONVEX
sation
I'VE will settle this with q sword. ="
Very well, but you are the better
swordsman. We will equalize the
chances thus: You shall mount q ve-
locipede, l will mount the platform OF
a railway train, and thus placed we
will charge upon each other sword in
handw-Youth's Companion.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
How He Used IL.

Philanthropic Party--''You said your
family were starving and gave you
dime. Now find you spending it for
liquor"
Sad-eyed well, you see.
friend, the sight Of my family starving
to death so unnerves me that / have
to drink to keep up my courage to face
them. Judge.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
LOW WAS ThuE 10 NE.

Love was true TO me,
True and tcnder; -
who ought TO be ~
Loves defender.
Let the cold winds blow
TIL they chilled him.
Let the wincs and sun
Shroud hin-and knew
That killed him.
Years he cried to me
To DO kinder.
! was blind TO see
And grew binder.
Years with soft hands raised, =;
Fondly reaching,
Wept and prayed and praised,
Still beseeching.
When he died woke,
God, how lonelyi
When the gray dawn broke
On one only.
Now beside Loves grave
am kneeling.
All he sought and gave
am feeling.
John Boyle O'Reilly.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
A solitary D,s,,nc,,op.

A Wisconsin lady, the wife OF a sec
rotary in the Brazilian war department,
has the somewhat solitary distinction
OF being the only newspaper woman in
South America
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-06-13
chinese Omc,aIs.

It is stated that Chinese high Of
fcials have been instructed to travel
henceforth in gunboats, on account
OF the frequent disasters to merchant
steamers.