St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-03-15

Conductor Hilary gaZes at him with q
plying eye.
Have you ever travelled before??" he
asks.
Ever travelled !" roared the Infatuated
gentleman. 'All my life''
There. there" says the tormentor
s0othlngly, as if addressing sick child,
Don't grow violent"
he leans over and whispers to Aunt
laoltha. shall | call assistance fol
you? Is he often taken this Way?'
What" gasps the astonished lady.
II knew he was little wrong when I
frst saw him. I'll telegraph ahead al
the next Station.''
Telegraph ahead? Where?" demands
Mr. Wilkins, who has overheard the
FOREGOING conversation with feelings too
deep for utterance.
Joe pays no attention to this, but alb
ruptly retires before her, leaving Mr..
Wllkln still incapable of speech.
Yes, sir, the young rascal actually
threatened to telegraph for help
chuckleS MIR. Wilkins, holding his sides
III vain attempt to check his laughter.
Col: Hilary looks at the speaker de-
spairingly.
And you did not shoot him?' he
queries, mildly, but in tones of the deep
est astoniSbmert.
were too much for me. Old adage of
two against one, you know. Shoot him !!
Bless him. if he was here I'd shake
hands with him this minute''
The conOnel chalked his cue with in
finite precision. The great mirror on
the wall of the cosy little billiard room
reflected the perpleXed expression Oh
MS countenance.
There was silence for q few mo-
ments, broken only by the monotonous
click of the ivory balls as the colonel
finished the game by a succession of
brilliant shots. Finally lhe looksd up
fromthe table.
wilkins" he said, with a comical
expression of bewilderment, Il give it
up: The young sprig insulted you,
bullled you with cheek"
That's just it," assented the jolly
stockbroker. ut was his cheek that
saved him. Madi Well, never came
quite so near apopleXy in my life be-
fore. But Eve changed my mind. I've
thought it all over, That son of yours
is bound to succeed, and what is more,
I'm going to help him. Whenever he
gets tired of honeymooning and returns
to town. I'm going to take him into my
office and give him chance. Unless /
have made big mistake, the firm of
Wilkins, Hilary IL Co.. stock brokers,
will soon become terror to the street
and household name for the sound
ness of its capital-and the University
of its gall.'
land, now, colonel, no Interruptions,
if you please" said Mr.. Wilkins,
stretching himself lazily out in great
arm chair and putting his feet on the
warm brass fender. ''I'm going to tell
you a tale that all your previous long
experience of your sons ways would
never lead you TO anticipate. Let's see.
where was /? Oh, yes, he was just
threatening to arrest me for lunacy.
Well, sill, from that moment l had no
peace. Everybody seemed TO be in the
plot, and for one don't blame them a
bit. What an old ass must have been
to have thought of Maude. Old enough
to be her father. and, what is more to
the point, old enough to have known
better-but didn't"
1.-The conductor interrupted me in
the middle of my most fiowry periods to
demand my tickets. The newsbOy
pestered me with his wares till | nearly
bought out his entire stock in trade.
The porter answered imaginary calls
from our section on an average of once
in five minutes during the whole day,
and, not content with this, walked me
from a fitful sleep three times during
the night. Warm enough, sah?'' Next
stations Salamanca, sab; only ten min
utes to dress" Want your shoes
BACKED or oiled, sab ?"
The result of all this was that /
didn't get two minutes consecutive con-
VerSatiOn with the young lady on the
trip. But the dining car! The waiter
handed ne glass of water and poured
plateful of hot soup in my lap at the
same moment. He trod on my feet,
spilled a dish OF oysters over me, begged
my pardon with tears in his eyes, and
charged me with three quarts of VINE
on his bill. L demonstrated with the
head waiter, a man who weighed some
800 pounds and had disagreeable cast
i'll his left eye. He only shrugged his
shoulders and grinned. l paid for the
champagne.
That evening the train stopped
somewhere or other, in Ohio, | think.
Tired of the hot air of the car, thought
L would take stroll on the platform. L
asked Miss Harmon if she didn't want
to take little exercise; but she only
looked up from the novel she was read
ing, and shook her pretty head. My
wife was asleep"
Your wife! Thought you were a
bachelor" ventured the colonel.
II was" sighed Mr.. Wilkins; 81 am
no longer. I married Tabitha. But to
return to our story. My wife was asleep,
and so l left the car noiselessly and
gained the platform The moon was
shining brightly. On one side of me
was the depot and the streets of busy
town. In the distance church bell
was tolling out the hour of evening
service, its clang mingling strangely
with the other soundS-the clatter of
hoofs on the stone pavements and the
noisy street car as it pounded slowly
broad river swept under the arches of
stone bridge and fell with constant
rushing sound into the rapids far be-
low. Refreshed by the GOODNESS of the
breeze and enchanted by the lively
scene that spread itself out before me,
/ was standing at the end of the depot
platform-When the engine bell ringing
aroused me from the spell. l turned
quickly around just in time to see the
rear sleeper of the train gliding
rapidly by me. | ran, shouted, but all
to no purpose-it was slowly but surely
increasing the distance between US. |
was giving up the pursuit as hopeless,
when L heard the conductors voice call
ing through the darkness. iuciting me to
further efforts. With series of bounds,
into which [ put all my remaining
strength, reached the rear of the train.
l felt myself seized by strong hand
and jerked bodily into the air. A mo-
ment more and l alighted fiat on my
back on the platform, my head reposing
softly against the brake The train
stopped"
"Stopped?"
"And then 1t started again-back-
wards. We backed up to the depot and
waited Oh a side track twenty minutes
for the east-bound express to pass us.
arranged my disordered toilet as best l
could, stopped second in the smoking
room in order to give vent to my out
ragged feelings in a small bit of profan-
ity, and went back to Tabitha-''
''And Maude," suggested the colonel
And Maude," assented Mr.. wilkins.
with an uneasy smile, after this, outs