Connecticut western news., 1891-03-18

But must stop. At sum futur time shall continner my remaks on the dramer in which I shall show the varst superior ity of wax fggers and snakes over the ater plays, in interlectooal pint of view. Very Respectively yures,
 A. WARD, T. K.
 AMONG THE FREE LOVERS.
 [Some queer people, calling themselves "Free Lovers, :" and possessing very original ideas about life and morality. established themselves at Der lin Heights, in Ohio few years since. Public opinion was resistlessly against them, however. and the association was soon disbanded1
 Some years ago pitched my tent and onfurled my banner to the breeze, in Berlin Hites, Ohio I had hearn that Berlin Hites was ockepied by a extensive seek called Free Lovers, who believed in affinertys and sich, goin back on their domestic ties without no hesitation whatsomever. 1 sot up my tent in field near the Love Cure, as they called it, and bime- by the free lovers begun to congregate around the door. A ornreer set have never sawn. The mems faces were all covered with hare and they lookt half starved to deth. The wimin was wuss than the men. They wore trowsis, short gownds, straw hats with green ribbins. and all carried bloc cotton umbrellers.
 Presently a perfeckly orful lookin female presented herself at the door, Her gownd was skanderlusly short and her trowsis was shameful to behold
 She eyed me over very sharp. and then startin back she sed, in a wild voice:
 "Ah. can it be?'
 "Which?' sed l.
 "Yes, 'tis troo, o 'tis trool'
 "15 cents, marm," anserd.
 She bust out a cryin & sed:
 And so have found you at larst-at larst, o at larst!'
 Yes" anserd, you have found me at larst, and you would hay found me at fust if you had cum sooner"
 She grabd me vilently by the coat col lar, and brandishin her umbreller wild ly round exclaimed:
 "Air you mani"
 Sez 1, II think air, but if you douht it you can address Mrs. A. Ward, Bal dinsville, Injianny, postage pade. & she will probly give you the desired infor- mashun."
 'sThen thou ist what the cold world calls marrid?'
 Madam, istestv'
 The exsentric female then clutched me frant1cly by the arm and hollered:
 You air mine, o you air mine!"
 Scarcely" 1 sed, endeverin to git loose from her. but she clung to me and sed:
 You air my Affnerty!'
 What upon arth is that?" shouted.
 "Dost thou not know7'
 No, dostent!''
 "Listin man, & I'll tell yel' sed the strange female; flor years hay yearn- ed for thee. 1 knowd thou vast in the world. sumwhares, tho 1 didn't know whare. My hart sed he would cum and took courage. He has cum-he's here you air him-you air my Afinertyl o 'tis too mutch! too mutch!" and she sobbed agin.
 "Yes," l answered, Fl think it is a darn site too mutch!" ''Hast thou not yearned for me?" she yelled, ringin her hands like female play acter.
 Mot yearny I bellerd at the top of my voice, throwin her away from me.
 The free lovers who was standin round obsarvin the scene commenst for to hol Ter shame" "beast." etsettery. etsett- cry.
 Twas very hutch riled, and fortifyin myself with spare tent stake, addrest them as follers: "You pussylanermus critters, go way from me and take this retchid woman with you. I'm a law abidin man, and beleeve in good, old fashioned institutions. am marrid & my orfsprings resemble me if l am a snowman! think your Affinity bizniss is cussed noncents, besides bein out rajusly wicked. Why don't you behave desunt like other folks? Go to work and earn a honist Twin and not stay round here in this lazy, shiftless way, pizenin the moral atmosphere with your pestif- rous ideesl You wimin folks go back to your lawful husbands if you've got any. and take orf them skanderlous, gownds and trowsis, and dress respectful like other wimin. You men folks, cut ort them pirattercal whiskers, burn up them infurnel pamplits, put sum weskuts on. go to work chopin wood, splittin fence rales, or tillin the sile." Ipored 4th my indignashun in this way till got out of breth, when 1 stopt. l shant go to Ber- lin Hites agin, not if l live to be as old as Methooseler.