The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-04-25
tContinied from second Pags:j


tied or shrieked or thundered across the
continent. = S s,Hssf :
Now IN this POPULARITY of infidel thinkers
cannot join, and I propose to give YOU
some reasons why cannot be an infdel,
and>so will try to help out of this present
condition any who may have been struck
with the awful plague of skepticism.
First, 1 cannot be infidel because in
fidelity has no good substitute for the con-
ISOLATION 1T proposes to take away You
know there are millions of people who get
their chief consolation from this book
What would you think of a crusade of this
sort? Suppose man should resolve that
he would organize a conspiracy to destroy
all the medicines from all the apothecaries
and from all the hospitals of the earth.
The work is done. The medicines are
taken, and they are thrown into the river
or the lake, or the sea.
A patient wakes up at midnight in a par
oxysm of distress, and wants an anodyne.
'Oh," says the nurse, ''the anodynes are
all destroyed; have no drops to give
you, but instead of that rll read you
book on the absurdities of morphine and
on the absurdities of all remedies" But
the man continues to writhe in pain and
the nurse says: "I'll continue to read you
some discourses on anodynes, the cruelties
OF anodynes, the indecencies of anodynes,
the absurdities of anodynes. For your
groan III give you a laugh
ALAS! FOR THE soRRowNG
Here in the hospital is a patient havinga
gangrened limb amputated. Hesays: sOh,
for etherl Oh, for schloroformi' The doc
tors say: why, they are all destroyed; we
don't have any more chloroform or ether,
but have got something great deal bet
ter. Pll read you a pamphlet against
James Y. Simpson, the discoverer of chloro-
Sform as an ansesthetic, and against Drs.
Agnew and Hamilton and Hosack and
Mott and Harvey and AbernethyD ssBut."
says the man, 81 must have some anes-
thetics." NO. say the doctors, ''they are
all destroyed, but we have got something u
great deal better" what is that9''
"Fun." Fun about medicines Lie down,
all ye patients in Bellevue hospital, and
stop your groaning; all ye broken hearted
OF all the cities, and quit your crying; we
have the catholicon at lastl
Here is dose of wit, here is q strength
ening plaster of sarcasm, here is a bottle
of ribaldry that you are to keep well shaken
up and take spoonful of it after each
meal, and if that does not cure you here is
solution of blasphemy in which you may
bathe, and here is a tincture of derision
Tickle the skeleton of death with a repar
teei Make the King of Terrors cackIel
For all the agonies of all the ages a jokel
Millions of people willing with uplifted
hand toward heaven to affirm that the
goepel of Jesus Christ is full of consolation
take it away, giving nothing absolutely
nothing, except fun. Is there any greater
height or depth or length or breadth or i'm
mensity of meanness in all Gods universe,
Infidelity is a religion of Don't know
Is there God? Don't know! Is the soul
immortal? Don't know! If we should
meet each other in the future world will we
recognize each other? Don't knowl A re-
Egion of don't know" for the religion of
Il know" II know in whom l have be-
leved," 81 know that my Redeemer liv-
eth" Infidelity proposes to substitute a
religion of awful negatives for our religion
Of glorious postives, showing right before
MS world or reunion and ecstasy and high
eompanionship and glorious worship and
stnpendous victory, the mightiest joy of
earth not high enough to reach to the base
OF the Himalaya of uplifted splendor
awaiting aiithose who on wing of Chris
tian faith will soar toward it.
Have you heard of the Conspiracy to put
out all the lighthouses on the coast? Do
you know that on a certain night of next
month, Eddystone lighthouse, Bell Rock
lighthouse, Sherryvore1 lighthouse Mon.
tauk lighthouse, Hatteras lighthouse. New
London lighthouse, Barnegat lighthouse,
and the $40 lighthouses on the Atlantic
and Pacific coasts are to be extinpuished9
Oh,p YOU; say what will become of the
ships on that night? What will be the
tate of the one million sailors following the
sea? What will be the doom of the mil
lions of passengers? Who will arise to put
down such a conspiracy?" Every man, wo-
man and child in America and the world.
But that is only fable. That is what in.
ndel1ty is trying to do-put out all the
lighthouses on the coast of eternity letting
the soul go up the "Narrows' of death
with no light, no comfort, no peace-all
that coast covered with the blackness of
darkness Instead of the great lighthouse,
. glowworm of wit, FREELY of jocosity
Which do you like the better o voyaper
for eternity, the FREELY or the iighthousey
What mission infidelity has started onl
The extinguishment of lighthouses the
breaking up of lifeboats, tine dismissal of
all the pilots, the turning of the inscrip-
tion on your child's grave into farce and
a lie. Walter Scott's ''Old Mortality.
ehisel in hand, went through the land tc
cut out into palmer letters the half obliter.
ated inscriptions on the tombstones, and it
WAS beautiful mission; but infidelity
spends its time with hammer and chisel
trying to cut out from the tombstones of
your dead all the story of resurrection and
heaven 1t is the iconoclast of every Will
age graveyard and of every city cemetery
and of Westminster Abbey. Instead of
Christian consolation for the dying a freez-
ing sneer. Instead of prayer a grimace
Instead of Paul's triumphant defiance of
death, going out you know not where to
sooP you know not when TO do you know
not what. That is infidelity.
THE FALSE PLEAS OF INFIDELTrY
" Furthermore: l cannot be an infidel, be-
cause of the false charges infidelity is all
the time making against the Bible. Per
haps the slander that has made the most
impression and that some Christians have
not been intelligent enough to deny is that
the Bible favors polygamy. Does the God
of the Bible uphold polyRamy, or did her
How many wives did God make for Adams
He made one WIFE,. Does not your common