The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1891-09-17
fHr JOURNALS MISSIONARY.
Especial Correspondepce Saline Co. Journal
CoNcoRDIA, Kas., Sept II, 1891.

SONCohDiAf has., cept II, io0l.
sometimes feel that there In mot
enough accommodation about rail-
road company, and that travelling
man's life IL hard one, and that he
has many things To make life q bur-
den to him. Advantages are taken Of
him that nobody else would allow
that IL pesceably-and he doesn't
always get all he pays for tho some
times be gets q surplus. For In
stance, when started out from Ss-
lima on my last trip I got into the
smoker ut the front end, thinking
I'd meet friend who had two cigars,
Il always carry matches) when the
odorifiorous fragrance Of about sixty
Dagoes greeted me, and had 10
run q gauntlet Of Limburger, sour
beer, old pipes. dirty feet and ship
smell In getting back to the next car.
This was also full Of Dagoes, aud by
the time had gotten the length Of
It and out onto the platform 1 Was
ses-sick, and could hardly hold my
own But 1 Jared worse in the
chsir-car, for there Was only one
vacant seat In 1t, and the one beside
1t was occupied by q pretty gazelle,'
with fswn like eyes, and = classical
college-bred air, with q copy Of
Browning In her lap. 1 looked
around with q hopeless, hunted look,
10 mute appeal for someone to come
and occupy that vacant seat. so I
could stand up. but my friend E. w.
Dow had taken q seat just across the
aisle, aud he motioned me forward
and pointed to the vacant seat, and
there wasn't any way OUT 80 I
put on an Indifferent look, and bold
ly walked up aud said, madam (it
always fstters q young lady 10 call
her madam. and an old lady to call
her Miss-strsnge isn't it) "are you
engaged-excuse me, am | occu-
pied?" mo sir. l think not" Then
dropped my valise In the chair aud
sat down on 1t. but / saw my mis-
take before long, and finally got in
to the chair myself, aud put my
valise In the aisle for the train
butcher to fall over, and sat there
wishing she had been Dsgo 80 she
couldn't enjoy the mistakes l had
made. But she was nice girl, and
only 'snickered' q little and looked
out OF the window.
Then the other evening out at Nor
ton l was going to take the Rock
Island flyer for Phillipsburg, and
seeing an acquaintance running the
engine, 1 went up to the cab to
speak to him, and he asked me to
come up Before could cay hello,
the train started and l couldn't get
off. l thought I'd enjoy . ride on
the engine, and I crawled up on the
fireman's cushion as unconcerned ~
II was civil engineer myself, but
before we had gone q mile, and had
fairly struck our gait, suggested
to the engineer that the conductor
might miss me aud send out Q search
party, and he'd better stop and let
me get off SO / could go back to the
coach. But he laughed ssrdonically
and said, Just keep your seat,
Horace" Then Il occurred to me
that I'd better go back aud look after
my valise, but he unfeelingly said,
"Oh IL can't fall off," Don't you
think I'd better run ahead and see II
there's any cattle on the track ?"
"Oh no, the right Of way Is fenced"
"Say, believe you have lost some
OF the coaches, and we'd better stop
a while till they catch up" "Oh,
no. IL we break In two the conductor
will pull the cord" / told him I
had no life insurance, and my credi-
tors would mourn without comfort
IL we jumped q curve at that rate,
but nothing would move his stony
heart, and away we went, over
bridges and around curves, and
through cuts at q rate that would
distance q parachute jumper. Pretty
soon the engineer got pail Of water
and q bar Of soap and washed up,
took off his blouse and overalls, put
on prince Albert and q Derby, and
we were into Phillipsburg. The fire.
man asked me to help him take the
engine into the round house, but
told him I'd had enough. The first
round had knocked me out. The
next time / ride on an engine IL will
be In sawmill. have complained
about slow travelling, but hereafter
II 60 rs fast as the Salina electric
street cars, that will be fast enough.
Railroad corporations have no
souls, neither have their engineers,
but have Q good broad sole for the
next engineer who tries to entice me
onto his engine.
A funny thing, or rather several
funny things, happened at Goodland
last week while 1 was there. An
opera troupe held the boards on
Monday night, and Tommy Grier,
the popular clerk Of the famous Rock
Island Hotel, brushed his pompa.
dour, put on q lavender tie, and
escorted his best girl to the show.
Because the hotel wouldn't give the
troupe an eighty cent rate for two
days, the 'prima donna unmerciful.
ly roasted Tommy to the delight Of
the gallery, but the audience finally
got tired, and didn't appreciate %
much Of 1t, and Tommy racked his
brain to get even. On Tuesday eve
ming he carried . cabbage head, Of
the Drummopd variety, to the rear
Of the opera house, and ~ his tor
mentor Of the evening before began
her dulcet strains he sent q boot
black onto the stage with 1t, and the
little fellow presented 1t with the
air Of . Chesterfield. 1t brought
down the house, and the contatrice
wilted Q good deal worse than the
cabbage. The troupe was % red
headed over the matter that the
blew out the gas-it
wasn't needed, and the next day the
future Nilsson, armed with Q raw