The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-07
BRIGHT BITS.

SUMNER BoARDER-I presume, Farmer, that
you make hay while the sun shiness
Farmer-Well, no: but superintend the job.
Yankee Blade.
TIE WOMAN you would call poem Is not the
woman you would call in the morning TO kindIe
the breakfast fire and fry the slapjaoks.-Rich
nord Recorder.
PAPA ito Dorothy. etst. 7)-Come. pet, it's
time to go upstairs It's o'clock
Dorothy-Well. papa, it won't be any earlier
up there.-Puck,
JoNEs-I got very excited letter from your
friend Brown the other day.
Smith-That's strange; saw him compose 1t
before it was sent-Bditinore American.
CAsHIER-po you know when double entry
was first used?
Bookkeeper-Yes; when the animals entered
the ark two by two Yonksrs Statesman.
Mr.. DuDLET-I have great talent, Miss Caus
tic and could do wonderful things If only had
a mind to. lr
Miss Caustic--Yes; you only lack the mind
Comic
Miss FL1RTHARD-I think Mr.. Greatheart is so
silly.
Miss Likewise-why sof
Miss Flirthard-Why, he gets serious so soon
Boston Courier.
MRS. SIIMsoN-wilIie, what did you say 20
the Kind lady next door when she gave you the
piece of piey
Willie-I asked If that was the last piece she
had. -Brcoklvn Life.
FIRST DAMsEI-But 1 thought he said he
would never speak to you again.
Second Damsel-Oh, yes; but he saw l had a
cold. and he couldn't resist the temptation to
tell me OF sure cure.-Ptck Me Up.
He GAILY set forth with an outfit of nerve.
And trust In his cheek broad and brawny;
AS warning to all, may his epitaph serve:
kequiescat in Mulligatawney.
Washington Star.
HEAD MIsrsEss-Miss Balfour, saw you kiss
that Terleton boy. What is the meaning Of
that?
Sweet Girl Undergraduate-Ic can spell 1t, Miss
Grayson. but can't define it.-LUe.
The willows wept that the summer was dead,
AS they shook In the bleak autuma air;
And the maple all blushed a rosy red
AT the thought Of their limbs being bare.
-Hdrper's Bazaar.
TRAvERs (sighing>-I must get me a new over
Miss Summit-Why. that one looks as good as
new. Have you had IL long?
Travers-Well, l should say so. Why, Just
paid for it.-CLothter and FtLrnisheT.
SAID the street car conductor II swear
That my conduct is perfectly square.
Though you see me az times
Stealing nickleS and dimes,
You must own it is no more than fare"
Club.
DoCToR-Your husbands case Is a serious one,
Mrs. Moriarty I'm afraid there is some foreign
substance in his Oesophagus
Mrs. Moriarty-Furriu, is It? Bedad, an Dim
not surprised sorr; for mony 'sthe tonne Olive
warned hi II against attn them Dutch sausinges
that he's so fond of.-Kdte Fields Washington,
MISS MYLLIoN-Do you believe in Darwin's
theory, count. that man descended from a
monkey?
Count Spagbetti-Noa. no! But l have da
g-r-r-eata mucha times seena da monk descend
froma da man when / used to Rrr-inda da org
-er-or see da man playa da org ina da street.
The Club.
SAYso-Those who leve books almost invari-
ably love dogs That is rule with, think, few
exceptions.
Nowitt-I am one of the exceptions.
Sayso-You love books aud hate dogs?
Nowitt-Exactly.
Sayso-That is strange.
s%Nowitt-Not in the lea.t-I am book agent.
Brooklyn Life.
HIcKs-Mr. Bombom, understand, Is one of
the literati OF our city.
Wicks-Yes, he is employed on the Morning
SQuedLer.
Hicks-Does he write those able editorials that
delight me so much, wonder?
Wicks-O, no. he doesn't fritter away his
| talents on editorial writing. His literary work
| is directed in entirely different channel, He
gets up the cane contests. sends up the balloons
touches Off the fireworks and concocts statistics
| to boom the papers circulation. Mr.. Bombom,
| in short, Is way up in the literary lne.-B0ston
| Transcript.