Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-01
PITH AND POINT

However great some mems abili-
ties are, their liabilities are always
greater.
A friend in need is a friend who
generally strikes you for quarter
Texas Siftings.
The spring of several years ago is
usually the one referred to in connec-
ton with '.spring chicken"
1t is the chickens counted before
they are Matched that always come
home to roost.-Galveston News
"A young man sometimes speaks OF
his finances when really he hasn't
single one of them.-Galveston News.
1t is pastime when one misses the
train, although it may be difficult to
determine where the fun comes in
Lowell Courier.
Properly speaking, it is in the fall
of the year that good resolutions should
be made, as it is then that the leaves
begin to turn.-Baltimore American.
On the gravestone of a western wo-
man who died recently has appeared
her picture. If it is like the general
run of epitaphs it must fiatter her.
Boston News
First Boy-"Did you get squeezed
in the crowd at the navy drill yester-
day?" Second Boy-''No, but I got
caught in the jam at home, and that
was worse. IN. Y. Press.
Out of n.-Biggs-''Well, Har-
ris, how're your folks in the country"
Harris-"O. they're all right-they've
sent for donkey" Biggs-"Are you
going?"-Brooklyn Eagle.
II never could understand why
| people think SO much of the dogs in
stinct in attaching himself to man."
IN uttered the tramp as he flashed down
the road.-Baltimore American.
| A Narrow Escape.-"Charlie was
nearly drowned in the surf this morn
| ing" How? Undertow?" mo.
He got his ears full of sand and they
| pulled his head under."-Jonahville
Jag.
A Question of Altitude. -Giggles-
81 call a pearl necklace high art in per-
sonal adornment." Goggles Then I
suppose diamond tiara is higher art
| in personal adornment. "-Jeweler's
| Weekly.
Vice Versa -"Kuldy, old boy, do
you dictate much to your pretty type
writer nowadays! blCtdtS W hSi'
That little red-headed thing over there?
No, sir! She dictates to me. Wash
| ington Post.
Heavy Tragedian Ito manager of
transforming ombination)-"And is
this miserable pittance all I'm to get
to sustain life?'' 'Oh no. From time
to time you may keep the fruit and eggs
that will be thrown at YOU"
Judging from the close proximity
of the faces of pair of lovers in an
out -the-way corner of the hotel piaz-
"a, one may believe that love, if not
blind, is at least very nearsighted. -
Boston Transcript
Jack Dashing-"It's all settled.
We are to fight duel for you. But
will you marry the one who is not
wounded?" Penelope - mo, indeed.
I'll marry the one who is wounded,
though. if he is wounded mortally."-
n. Y. Herald
Improving Nature.-"Hello, Char
lev" said as took the three-year-old
up on my knee. where's your moth
er?'' upstairs in her room" What
is she doing?" "Frizzing and kinxing
up her hair" And where's the grip
(which one-Dinah?" YES" 'Oh,
she's upstairs in her own room"
sWell, what is she doing?" ''Oh, she's
trying to get the kinks and frizzes out
of her hair" And so we go.-Philadel-
ph1a Press.
They We're sitting very close to-
gether in Forest park, twoyoung ladies
out for an airing. The weather was
evidently not the subject of their con-
versation, for one of them said: Hes
Just the dearest, incest fellow in the
world, and / do love him So" Yes,
Jennie, dear. but l understand he
winks. I don't know whether / could
trust man who did that ?" well, l
don't know, dear. The only men l
ever saw who didn't wink were either
stone blind or stone dead."-St. Louis
. Repub bile.