Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-06-14

A
she says. Thar amt no varmint round
yere could chew my Pete
well, marm, I says sorter pacify1n'
like, Pete war'nt chewed. This is how il
was. He gets impulsive an grabs the pot
In game of dror the other eveninIhe
| a-holding of aces up or some sech trifling
hand-an' q man who owns a club flush,
| queen at the head, gets that proud about 1t
he shoots hole in Pete's forced, and thar
upon Pete ups an dies mighty prompt in
full hopes, as he imparts to me in confidence
| at the time, of a glorious resurrection.
That's the straight and oncurrupted trooth,
| marm'
=" You can't come no game on me,
stranger she says. Thar amt no two
Legged man round yere can shoot holes into
the fore'erd of my Pete
so, then," continued Armstrong, 81
throws myself upon her mercy an tells her
how happy Peter is before she comes. How
he lives yere all gay an ontrammeled as a
buck prairie dog, an no one for to molest
him or make him afraid. But it amt no
use. She says she'll shore have him, an
final she gets plumb frenzied; an when
leaves her she's gnawin' away on the aige
of white ash table like beaver, a-takin'
OF the wire aige often her emotions"
Never you mind, Pete" said Texas
Thomson in burst of encouragement as he
pressed his friends hand. ''We take you
outen this yere trap or tears the town
down"
A Doodle Scheme Proposed.
"Whatever for a scheme would it be to
buy Pete OFF," said Bill Tutt. "Couldn't t
we fix this yere womern now with money!"
The idea was good. Rosewood Jim, as
one persuasive Of speech and fertile of
brain, was selected to try. The rest awaited
his return.
"Marm," said Rosewood Jim, 'T'm a
sportin' man myself, an used to buyin'
chances. You makes some claim agin a
pard an fellow-townsman named Big Pete
Sims. This yere gives you chance, as it
were, on Pete-not good chance-but still
a chance. Now 1 strolls up all plain and
business like to buy your chance on Pete.
What is your figure, may ask?"
"Whar is Pete?" asked the lady with
some venom. can why don't he come
yere like man to me, hisself?"
'Pete's hid" said Rosewood, camly. "He
don't come cause those who heels an gaffs
him at this yere crisis forbids the play.
low Run an chuck for six months an is
armed to the teeth. He's drinlsin' hard all
the time an gives it out cold he'll die an
end his own life before he'll be took alive.
Will you take $500 for your chance in Pete,
marm?"
"No I won't" responded the lady. 'Do
you really reckon now he would kill his
self?"
'T'm plumb shore he would" asserted
Rosewood. It's the advice of his best
friends, an the idee sorter jibes in gen.
eral way with his own notion; SO, marin, I
think he will.
Knocked Down at Thousand.
'Then agin, he's done been drinkin' to
that limit, he's now camped jest this side of
the delirium tremens line He's got a
mighty vivid mind that away, too, and al
ready is beginnin' to people the small
apartment he inhabits with snakes an rats
and coyotes an monkeys an tran tiers an
stingin' lizards, an each other member of
the anamile kingdom as happens to hit his
diseased taste Onless Pete alters his play
some abrupt, he's gone fswn-skin. Will
you say 1000 for your interest in Peter,
marm?"
"Yes, I will, l" said the lady after thought
full pause. "I'll take thousand and quit.
never wanted the miser'ble wretch, no.
hows'
The ransom was quickly and blithely
raised. The next day the lady in the case
departed on the stage. Pete was ot'there
for fear of relapse, but the rest turned out
to see her off.
''Don't make this yere mistake agin,"
said Armstrong to Old Monte, as the latter
picked up his six reins. you'll contract
mighty sore throat, shore, if you do
"Adios," said Rosewood Jim, waving a
polite sombrero after the departing stage.
''Thar she goes an four stacks of yellow
chips ahead of the deal, an the same all
safe an sound in her war bags Inever
knows a woman yet you couldn't squar'
with money, an thar amt none such. %
DAN QUIN