Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1891-01-17
WIT AND HUM0R.


make a man dream-mince pie and
love. -AtchisoH Globe.
The insoleut cooking utensiI" is a
phrase for a saucepan credited to Bos-
ton housekeepers, - Boston Transcript.
Thirteen is always an unlucky num-
Der. Adams thirteenth rib was the
cause of all his troubles. -Iecas Syt-
tag5.
In Spain the barber shears donkeys
as well as men. In America the bar
Der shears dudes as we'll as men.-S 81.
Joseph Ael0s.
At20 a man thinks he knows it all;
30 he merely thinks he could have
known it all If he had tried - Indian
ap0iis Journal.
Mr. Callowe-'Is the report true
that YOU are engaged?" Miss Three
Stars-''No such luck! I'm even out
Of an eDgagement.r-N T. Worid.
/ hear your husband is quite a gal
liant Do YOU ever hud ans letters 10
his puckels?' Only the ones / give
him to post. spare Moments.
"The Clymers' reception was a fall
ure. The rooms were not half full.
well, sorle of the guests did their
best to make up for tn I. Herald.
well, little Fritz how did you like
your dinnerPn asked his aunty. 20,
we don't have any better at home,
but there's more of it. ~ YOUTHS Com
p1ni0H.
Chappie-"I had ten-mile gallop
this afternoon and get back feeling as
fresh as a daisy" Maud-.You have
just returned, have you notP"-N T.
Herald.
If the average play were as dry as
many of the men who witness it seem
to be the drama might indeed be re-
garded as in very bad way Wash
ingt0n Post.
so you called at Mr. Jones' about
that little bill said the merchant to
the clerk yes, sir "And what did
you find out?n MIR. Jones. ~ Wash
tHgt0a Post.
Customer-"Will these goods wash?n
Epstein (injuredlyJ-"Yash? Wash?
Mine frendt dose goods would stand
Turkish bath efery morningr'-Anert-
can Grocer.
1T was terrible blow to the family
was what the man out West remarked
to a friend after cyclone had visited
his premises and carried away his
house. - YonberS StatsSDlGa.
"Rememler you're taking my
heart with you" She-"You are the
fifth man that has told me the same
thing. You all mast think am a pork
packer. - IeH0UiHe's AeCS.
What awfulIy poor billiards Missem
plays, doesn't hep" Yes. Only
natural. though How sop He's
a detective, and you know they can't
handle a cue. st Joseph Ne1o5.
Fleeced Player-'Lend me five dol
lars Lucky Piayer-'rm afraid il
will change my luck Fleeeed Player
Then lend me seven dollars seven
is lucky number. "-lsras SyljngS
About the most disagreeable man
on earth. said Charlie Cashgo, ais the
pawnbroker. Yes - responded
Billy Bender, dolefully; but we have
to put up with him. - Washington
Post.
What did the editor say about that
last story of yours Fred?" said it
wasn't worth the paper it was written
upon." "Why don't you try poorer
paper next timePn-Phtiadetpbia Re-
cord
McCorkle Cooking at the individual
leaning against the lamp-posD That
man has a queer name-Triangle."
McCrackle- 1T is appropriate, though.
He is rye-tangled triangle. " West
Shore.
Weeks-"How do you account for
the smoke curling from a gun when
the hare is laid low?' Wentman-It
is queer! And it always curls after
the hare has been hangedl' '-AmerIcGH
Grocer.
Father" Didn't I hear high words
between you and your brother just now,
HenryP' Henry-'Yery likely, father;
OUT surely you wouldn't wish me to
use low language. "-JourRdl Of Edu-
cation.
Tincker-'When my play is pre-
seuted | want all my friends to be the
drst-uighters. Persuade them all to
come" Rodney. Yes. I'll tell them
it will be their only opportunity. -
Mansey's Weekly.
Yisitor-"Isn't your mother afraid,
Willie, of catching cold in those slip
pers?" Willie-"Huh, I guess you
don't know them slippers! Ma uses
them to warm the whole family with"
-Amerlc1E Grocer.
John. said Mr.. Sti1gys wife. Il
wouldu't buy any more 81 trousers, if
were you" why not?' This last
pair you bought are the identical ones
] sold the ragman six weeks ago for
fifty cents. ~. y. Sun.
McFingle-'I understand that YOU
write for the humorous papers2' Nc
Fangle-"Yes that's sol | write for
them every week. Ny newsletter
doesn't keep the ones | want, YOU
know. boston IraUsilsr.
The difference 'twixt Tweedledum
and Tweediedee? Isuppose the first
Mr.. Tweedle couldn't speak, said Mrs
Spriggins. Aud Mr. Spri1gjus took
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