The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-12-29
suNELoNER s1LHouErrEs

| Mrs Jerry Simpson signs her newspaper
correspondence Yours fraternally."
! Christmas comes but once a year. New
Years day finds US more than once in
arrear.
| The busy man will not notice much diff
| ference between Thursday and Friday
! this week.
| Judge Casius Foster has so far recovered
that be says he will be able to hold the
April term of court.
! Wilson county has man whose initials
are r. NJ He was born in 1856 among the
Rockies and his parents named him Rocky
! Mountain.
! The calamity politicians are in greater
despair every day. Eggs are bringing the
unusual price in Kansas of twenty-five
cents dozen.
There is another recommendation for
the appointment of Ingalls,. He has been
tried, and. in his case, there is no danger
of oYerwork.
Santa Claus can't think much of the
plausibility of rain making or he would
have had Il little snow in Kansas to have
driven about on.
The feeling of profound grief at Senator
Plnmb's death is borne out by the fact
that, so far, nobody in the state has writ
ten any poetry on it.
There is only one man in the country
who can take Plumb's place, work as hard
as he did and live, and that man hasn't
the brains-John L. Sullivan.
People who say that Christmas is the
I,,,D Ty...t,I 81 e. =,
moment that Kansas had a Republican
victory on Nov. 3. this year.
Washington City is crazy for the return
of Ingalls,. Without the Kansas man, the
degeneracy in the popular taste for neck
ties is at once apparent at the capital.
William Tecumsen Sherman once said:
~ don't know what mystery has brought
about the rapid development of Kansas,
except the mystery of education and in
dustry."
a Washington county man paid bank
the principal, and the court figured on it
and gave the man a judgment against the
bank for S23.
The deplorable state of things has been
discovered that an average of ten women
to one man attend church in Kansas. 1t
will always remain so, probably, unless
men take more interest in feminine dress
and heedgear.
Every body should pity the man who has
the luckless faculty of saying sharp, Bit
ing things. His pricks always come back
to him, sometimes in double payments. If
George I. Anthony had never dashed old
Ia irrh+ Cd I,a
the United States railroad commission.
Actor Cranes Senator was Preston B.
Plumb. The actor went to the Capitol
every day to study the ways of the Kansas
man before the play was given its first
presentation in Washington. The actor
and the senator became fast friends, and
it is said that, although the play was a
success, Crane will play it no more, out of
respect to the memory of Plumb.
A Topeka politician went into the Union
depot restaurant at Kansas City the other
day and asked for pie.
How much?" asked the waiter, raising
his knife over the article.
Let's see," said the Kansas man, chow
many degrees in circle?'
''Why, 180."
well, give me 80 degrees"
If you want to know how your fathers
and mothers came to this country, AYERS
Ed. Howe, look at the movers wagons on
the streets. If you want to see how you
looked when you were little, look at the
white-headed children III the wagon. There
was famous dog in your family, no
doubt, and your father often refers to it as
the most wonderful dog that ever lived.
You will find one like him under movers
wagon; usually yellow dog, with scars
received from fighting dogs along the road.
Speaking of Indian humor, at the Indian
conference at Lawrence, recently, DR.. Dor
chester related how little Indian child
looking at the moon one evening when it
was very red, concluded that the man in
the moon had the nose-bleed. Another
boy wanted to know if the straw put
around trees in the winter time was TO
keep them from taking cold. For keen
insight neither of these remarks compare
with the old Indians observation on the
distribution of rain-fal in Kansas. When
asked about how much rain fell every
year, he said: Heap much or heap none"
The late Senator Plumb never missed an
the most punctual man in the world. A
party of Kansas men were in Washington
about year ago, and Plumb asked them
to dine with him at Cbamberlain's. 81
will meet you there at half past eight" he
said. At 8 o'clock the guests were on
hand and waited for Plumb, but he didn't
come. The guests grew nervous, looked
at the clock, and after while gave him
up. At precisely half past eight Plumb
touched one of the men on the arm and
said, Gentlemen, are you ready" No
body had seen him enter, and it must have
been by some side door not known to the
public. While they were at dinner Plumb
explained that he had another engagement
that night and they would have to excuse
him. After dinner they all repaired to the
Office, the senator among them. and lighted
their cigars Senator Plumb" began
one of the guests, 'are-" Then he look
ed about. Senator Plumb had gone. They
looked about the Office for him, but he had
slipped out as quietly as he came.
--1-----------
ARKANSAS CITY NOTES.
Dec. %, 1891.
To the Editor OF the Eagle.