The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1891-03-12

the ex-membeF.
"Oh, no. Whom you were . membe
the fraud was on the floor; now It 10 ii
the ceiling" said Mr.. Cleveland.
HOW A SOLDIER FEELS IN BATTLE.
General Russel A. Alger, Of Detroit
does not often illustrate his conversation
with q humorous story. Now and ther
he does, and the following Is one Of hi
favorites:
-Four ministers stopped at my hous,
in Detroit once during q conference
meeting. and one evening they asked mt
II the glory Of brave deeds celebrated Ia
song did not have q powerful influence
In stimulating soldiers to emulate heroes
Of history. said, not at all. Their
they wanted to know what was the sen
timent that took possession Of the soldier
as he went into battle. l answered thai
just three words were often uttered by
soldiers in fighting, and they embraced
all the sentiment and poetry Of g
warriors nature. For example, in my
division there was certain colonel known
for his religious views and orthodox
ways. He would not do anything Ia
violate the Sabbath. and never was
known to utter an oath or any word on
the 'cuss' order. thought be was q
Miss Nancy kind Of q soldier, and was
afraid he would not be any use in bat
tie, except to assist In . quick and sue
cessful retreat. One day in q big battle
I saw q regiment in the thickest Of the
fight, and the colonel, with his sword in
hand, on foot, his horse having been
shot, in front cheering his men and urg'
ing them on. l rode up rapidly, and the
words that the good, orthodox colonel
was using made me smile:
"'Give 'em helll Give 'em hell, boysl'
he would yell at each volley.
"'WhY colonel I said,' 4 am sur
prised at your language; you, our best
ChristianP Waving his sword, he replied
"'well, that Is just what I mean, and
Just what I feel, give 'em hell
These are the three words Of senti'
ment that q soldier feels like uttering
In battle"
TALMAGE AND HUMAN VOICE.
Rev. 7. Dewitt Talmage is fond Of any
story that will illustrate . sermon OF
beautify q moral. Here Is one that be
tells now and then in his own original
way:
"A German family emigrated from the
Fatherland to this country and settled In
Milwaukee. The oldest boy in his teens,
concluded he would start out for himself,
Finally be brought up in New York city
and soon bad spent all the money the
old man had given him. Then be wrote
his father this kind Of an appeal:
Dear Fdther-I am sick and lonely
without q single cent. Send me some
money quick. Your son, JOHN.
"Now the father was illiterate and
could not read, so he went to . great
strapping butcher and asked him to read
the letter. The butcher had q gruff way
Of reading and loud voice. When he
finished reading johns letter the father
was furious and declared he would no,
send penny, even II the boy starved to
death. He had never heard Of such an
impudent demand for money. On his
way home the father thought the butcher
might have made a mistake In reading
and 4 desire TO hear the letter read again
overcame him. A consumptive baker
with q low, falling infection, was mex
asked to read the sons letter. When hC
concluded the father said with tears in
his eyes: Ny poor boy I'll send hin
all the money he wants. The baker had
read word for word the letter as it wal
read by the butcher.
"You see, my dear friend, that there Il
q great deal In the human VOICE.
THE BILL WILL TAKE HIS breath AWAY.
Henry WatteFson Il quick in repartee
and now and then perpetrates q gooC
thing on the spur Of the moment. H,
met in Washington ct the Riggs house
the celebrated poet-lobbyist, Colonel Dicl
Wintersmith. The latter was in I
gastronomic quandary, and told Mr.
Watterson that he lWintersmith) had ii
idea Of ordering q dinner Of fine beefsteal
and onions. He was skeptical as I,
whether the Riggs house could serve
dinner Of onions and beefsteak that woul,
have real onions and yet leave no oil
iensive odor upon his breath.
Colonel Dick, can tell you what b
do said Waterson.
"'what is thatH'
Why, 60 TO John Chamberlain's anC
order beefsteak and onions, and wheI
you pay your bill Il will take your breatI
awayP"
wANAMAKER's RKBUKE.
Postmaster-G General John Wanamake
Is given to illustrating bis conversation
with pointed stories. Once he rebuke
some Of his Sunday-school boys for laugh
ing at q deaf boys mistake In answeFin
misunderstood questions, and related thi
story:
Nov, little boys, II Is not right {
laugh or make sport Of affection.
knew Of q deaf man once who was di,
posed to be parsimonious. He was ion
Of society and . confirmed bachelor. H
gave banquet to some young ladies an
young gentlemen, the elite Of the city
For convenience, I will call the bachelo
Brown. When the banquet was neaTl