The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-01-12
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

California pedestrians are all right when
they strike the Golden Gait.-1t Sytings.
money talks" It IL said. But about holi-
day times 1t goes without saying foakers
SidttCnidn.
\ he wicked stand with immunity in slip.
perry places, whereas small banana peel filings
the heels OF the righteous to the sky like unto
the heels OF the lazy mule.--Ddiids NeicS.
Mrs. Hausman (bofore signing the lease)-
Now, are YOU sure that there Ii no nuisance
connected with this buildingS
Honest Agent-Wcll mum, there's q janitor.
Where does train of thought run tos"
asked Bloobumper quiZzically.
"Io Boston. suppose" replied Mrs. Bloc
bumper-HdIper's Bdsddr.
she-Why don't you get marricd' Can't you
afford iti
ne-Yes, / can afford to marry, but ] can't
stand the expense OF an engagement.-MUnsey
Miss Gushington-Is that DR.. Drake? What
q splendid-looking man! He's perfect Achil-
Uncle Gcorge-Yes, and like Achilles, he's
all right except In his heal.-B0stOR Tran
script.
Mrs. Hire TO applicant for coo ks place)-B
how am ! to know that ,yod have lllad expert
cncey Have You any recommendatiOny
Cook (produclng u paper)-Experience IL IT.
LUX at that mum: it's q list of the crockery I've
broke in the last twelvemonth.- BosiOa Tran
@yipt
Wouldn't it be nice Henry dear" she
drew the robe up, IF we could always 20
through life together this way,n "Yos," he
answered; "the coal bills would be little
enough; but, Great Caesar Alice" he con
tinued after u little thought, think OF the
livery bill llr'-Hdrper's Bdzdr
Wheneer the loud mouthed Congressman
On figured pinlons fcrcely rises,
Scores his opponents to man,
Increasing meanwhile several sizes
III Won III iuuuirc Wny he IN roaring
You'll find that soreness caused his soaring.
~. Y. HeFdtd.
Lizette-What ia the color of my eyes, Henry
Henry am sure ] don't know.
lizette pouting)-And yet you say you love
mey
Henry do. ! cannot tell the color OF your
eyes because they are so bright they blind
me.-HdIptr's BdsdT.
Travers-Im in dilemma. ] invited young
Stu1er to take New Years dinner with me
and he hasn't shown up. I'm just about starved
Dashaway-l don't see that you are to blame
Why don't you get yoonr dinner
lrayers-Dinnerl You don't seem to under
stand. was going to borrow the inonsy OF
Suffer- BrookiyH Lif6.
Scene, Newport-"IIow well preserved Lord
Bawnbawst II; II he not great swelly"
"Oh, yes. with a burst OF conhdence) Dc
you know when he arrived he was Obliged ia
pay duty on himself a. work OF arty'- Brook
| Ign LUt
Brown-Ive just been listening to Lean, the
temperance lecturer. BY the way, temperance
iH rather Tnisnomer in his case. Hes the
| most incorporate man ! ever heard.
| Fogg-ilow lucky It IL that his lntemporance
doesn't take the form he inveghs against.
| Great Scott II he should take TO drinking
there wouldn't be anything left for anybody
clse.-BOSfOn Transcript.
"Your son has Joined the Four Hundred and
Fourteenth Regiment, hear
| Yea
"Is he likely to make a good soldier"
"Nes, indeed. John il u hghter-not atraid
| OF anybody Why, he knocked his captair
down The other night for reprmandlng him.
| HdJper'S BdGdF.
| Wife-hlust you 20 out to-nghty
| liusband-lndeed must. Important, yer,
| important. II won't do 10 stay around nom
| these days, man must keep himself before
| the public or be forgotten
before the public to-nights
llushand-Easlly enough IN Just lool
| abound until run across some sort OF meet
| Ing somewhere or other, and then I'll go In an:
nominate Chauncey NJ Depew for somethin!
| or other, and my name will be In all the paper
to-morrow.-NtW York Weekly.
II awoman was M bad a shot when throwing
| her eyes Hs when thrOwi Ing stone there wonl,
be more happy men in the w0rld,- l'oRksr
btdtSHdH
Male modesty finds lis highest development
| IN the care OF young society leader IN Philp
delphia, who wears trousers 80 wide In the la.
| thai he Insists upon ladies preceding him whoi
ascending the stairs.-NsW l'ofk liOHi.
Neni, yidi, --,
read story In her cycs
That illod ms heart with gladnoss;
| Forgotten were my hopeless sighs,
oblivion claimed my sadness.
| read a story In her eyes,
| And all my doubts were banHhel;
| Ny heart grew like the summer skles
From which the clouds have vanished.