The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-28

The CLERGYMAN wastes his breath who talks
OF the happiness of the world to come to a
youth who has Just received his first love letter.
Cape Cod He'n.o r
ED AND MINNIE had another falling out last
Serious quarreli"
mo; hammock ~ Washington Post.
"TAIK about your spoon fad, )" said the brake
man, as he waved his cap to a girl at the last
station I'D like to see daisier collection of
spoons than mine. - Washington Post.
You don't like that picture, - said the artist
to the critic, We'll, you paint that is as
good. There's too much fool criticism going
around tosuit messTszNev York recorder.
VISITOR lin dime museum, 1851 see moth
ing freak like about you. Ns
Freak I'm the only man who did not go
crazy about souvenir spoons. - JetCeler's
Circular. Us III 81
Woo DEN, Seattle Chinaman who lost leg
by being run over by an electric railway car, is
bringing suit torecover $4,000 damages there
for. Pretty stiff price that for Woo Den leg.
San Francisco Coll.
BRoRsoN--I had the funniest dream last night
/ dreamed thaeI was hard up and asked you to
loan me U.s. without g word you pulled out $40
Craik ~ omnfust have had the nightmare.
Nep York HsFdld h@
THE colonel left the lovely miss
He'd called that eve to see,
And as he went she CRIED please kiss
The regiment for me-"
Seattle Telegraph.
QUEsrEH4aso your friend Lambly is dead, chr
Jester Heis. and he died as he lived, too.
Quester--tbw isthat?
Jester-Why, all through his life he had a
constitutional aversion to exerting himself in
any way, and he carried out this idea to the end,
for his friends tell me he died without a strug
gle.-Bost0fl Courier.
II SAVED a lady from being run over by a
runaway horse to-day, and the spectators gave
me three cheers and tiger"
THE lady. suppose, was rich and beautiful
and will marry you? Who was Sheg'
Il don't know. She disappeared while was
getting the ovation. In short. LOSE the lady
and got the tiger. Cape Cod Item.
AFTER the morning sermon gave the "No-
tees, !" ana then announced the number OF the
hymn to be sung. The congregation had opened
their hymn-books. Seeing one Of the deacons
coming toward the pulpit waited with open
book. He reminded me that had forgotten to
give a notice of the ladies meeting. then
stated to the congrege ton that had forgotten
to give such notice, announced the number of
the hymn again and proceeded TO read 1t. The
feeling of the cougregation-nott to say my own
may be imagined when read the first line of
the hymn:
Lord, what thoughtless wretch was H.
HOmitettc ReUtelC.
20. MARIE, MARIE" pleaded the precise
mother, why do you use such slang"
''Why, mamma" explained the girl. 81 can't
help it. Everybody does, and am forced to do
| it in self-defense."
But my child, you shouldn't do wrong be-
cause everybody else does. You should obey a
| higher and nobler principle than that"
well, mamma, hadn't thought of it Just in
that way before. | can see now that ] have
been led unwittingly into a fault which neither
right nor reason can sanction"
The mothers eyes filled with tears "And
you will never use slang AGAIN." she said, bend
ing forward and kissing the soft white forehead
OF her child.
"You bet your sweet life I won't" exclaimed
the impulsive girl, and was silent.-Detroit Free
Press.