davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
A Tongue Twister.

There is a sign in front OF cigar
store on lower Wall street which reads:
"DoN'r USE BIG WORDS.
''ln promulgating esoteric cogita.
tious or articulating superficial senti-
mentalities and philosophical or psy-
Geological observations beware of
platitudinous ponderosity. Let your
statements possess clarified concise
ness. compacted omprehensi bleness,
coalescent consistency and concen-
trated cogency Eschew all conglom-
erations of flatulent garrulity, jejune
babblemeut and asinine affectation.
Let your extemporaneous descantings
and unprecedented expatiations have
intelligibility and voracious viTaeity
without rhodomontade or thrasonical
bombast; sedulously avoid all pollysyl-
Liable profundity, psittaceous vacuity,
ventriloquial verbosity and grandilo-
auent vapidity: shun double entendres,
prurient jocosity and pestiferous pro-
family, whether obscurent or apparent.
In other words. talk plainly, sensi-
bly, and truthfully."
Not many people who start to read
it finish the job. but those who do are
grateful to the last line, which gives
them the meaning intended and also
tells them that tho - cigar is the best
made. Omaha World Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
THE VALUE OF LANDSCAPE.
As the Country Gets Older beautiful Spots
Are More Appreciated.

AS the Country Gets Older beautiful Spots
Are More Appreciated.
The natural resources of our beauti-
full country are SO great and varied that
little viii be left ungratified in the way
of Landscape beauty when oppO~tuni-
ties offer for development. Fortuu ate
ly we have land with such differences
in climate and conditions that stupidity
can not reduce our grounds to a dead
uniformity from the Atlantic to the Pa
cific, and travelling will be enjoyable
for all time from the variety of scenery
it gives us instead of repetition of the
same botanical display in all places.
We can enjoy in their greatest per-
lection soft lawns aud fresh foliage,
where the land is bathed in the soft
Atlantic air of our eastern coast; mag
nificent avenues of live oaks and mag
nolias, further south. and those of palm
trees nearest the tropic seas. In our"new
Italy" the southern part of California,
are rapidly extending the charms that
the gardens and villas of Rome and
Naples were once alone thought to pos
sess, and the gigantic evergreens fur
Their north exceed anything produced by
Norway or Russia. Our receptive soils
enable us TO add the wonderful conifers
of Asia and the South American noun
tains to the riches of Colorado and
Washington. The loquat, that strange
Asiatic fruit tree, whose introduction
into Portugal is said to have changed
the whole appearance of the country,
10 also naturalized in Louisiana.
The moist and equable climates of
China and Japan have afforded us much
that succeeds wonderfully well, in spite
of changes that must be endured and
our hot, dry summers, SO trying to many
things, especially foreign methods of
cultivation. While our natural resources
are nearly unlimited, we have much to
acquire is skill and taste. especially the
latter, for our methods of cultivation
and the products of our gardens are in
many cases far in advance of the rest of
the world.
When as people we become familiar
with the best that has been done with
ground and trees and water, and our
taste is equal to our zeal, we can ac-
complish things that men have not seen
the equal of, and with the wealth Of
material now availa BILE can excel in our
trying but exuberant climates all tho
earth has had to boast of. While in
horticultural specimens and the produc-
ton of gorgeous flowers we now lead
the world. we must yet become imbued
with the broad principles of the art of
landscape gardening, practice them in
conjunction with our neighbors. cease
devoting much time and energy to petty
work and temporary details 10 attain
the highest possibilities, and then will
our people live surrounded by parks
and gardens from ocean to ocean. -
Chicago News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
a CcNlonese Prince.

he wore black trousers and coat. q
white waistcoat and heavyround black
cap. On his coat. at the sleeves. as well
rs down the front aud on his waistcOat,
were numerous buttons. each one of
gold. with a cleaning diamond for a
center. Round his waist was heavy
gold girdle of massive links, with two
loops in front which went 20 form a
watch chain long enough and strong
enough for his highness to hang him
self with. The third aud fourth fingers
of each hand were loaded with rings
set with brilliants and precious stones.
In his waistcoat pocket the top of a
cigarette case was showing. end when
he pulled it out at the end of the game
there was a big cluster of brilliants in
the center Of the concave side. His
walking stick had a gold cross-hesd,
aud on the other side his initials were
set with diamonds and rubies.-San
Francisco Chronicle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
For the Transgressor.

"If you ever get locked up" said the
venerable rounder, there's trick or
two worth knowing. OF course, I'm
not saying that you ever will fall upon
such evil ways, but in these days OF
ward detectives, who have got to man.
ufacture a reputation, and superam.
bilious policemen there is no telling
what may befall the citizen who prowl'
eth nocturnally. In the first place
you must understand that it is to the
policeman's advantage to have you
looking as disreputable as possible
when you are bauled before the bar OF
justice in the morning. No matter at
what hour you are apprehended, dc
not attempt to sleep in your cell. Re-
pose on a plank simply produces ach-
ing Joints and red eyes the next morn
ing and gives you a riotous aspect
Fold your coat and vest up carefully
and sit on them, resting your back
against the wall. When you reach the
prisoners pen in the morning you will
find a brain and faucet in the corner.
Take your handkerchief and scrub
your face thoroughly, dampen it again
and brush your hat with it, using il
finally to take the dust off your boots.
When you go before the judge say
nothing and let your looks speak for
you. ~. Y. Commercial.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
Far as He Could Go.

The drummer was hidden to that fes-
tivity known as a lawn-party, and
among the refreshments provided upon
that occasion were some cherries. The
drummer was conscious that there
were depths of social etiquette which
he had never been able TO sound. and
as he was after all fellow of sense,
with the American adapta bility, and
did not wish to do that which was not
according to the best usage, he be-
thought him that il were well to watch
those about him with view to getting
clews In the matter of the cherries
he was especially troubled, as he did
not in the least know what was the
proper method of disposing cf the
stones when once the fruit had passed
his lips. He decided, therefore, that
before be attempted to eat any of the
MISUNDERSTANDING fruit he would wait
and see what his young and beautiful
hostess did in this delicate matter. 81
watched her" he goes on TO say. ''and
soon had the pleasure of seeing her slip
a cherry between her lips, redder than
the fruit itself. J took up one from my
own plate, preparing to eat it as soon
as | saw how she disposed of the stone,
but when she took the stone between
her fingers and snapped it at her
grandmother | found myself quite as
much at loss as before-for you see,
had no grandmother there. boston
Courier.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
DOMESTIC CONCERNS.

To stone raisins easily pour on boil
ing water and let them remain short
time.
Spinach juice colors a white sauce
prettily. and when poured over hard
boiled eggs, sliced and laid evenly on a
platter, is tempting dish.
To prepare French honey. use one
pound of white sugar, six eggs. the
juice of four lemons and one-fourth
pound of butter. Stir over a slow fire
until it becomes as thick as honey.
-Granola Fruit Mush: Sprinkle a
pint OF granola into a quart of boiling
water. and cook for two or three min
utes. Add, when done. large cuptul
of nicely steamed, seedless raisins.
Serve hot with cream.
Honey Candy: Take one pint Of
white sugar. with water enough 10 dis
solve it, and four tablespoonfuls of
honey. Boil until ii becomes brittle on
being dropped into cold water. Four
off into buttered pans to cool
"A good hair oil can be made by
taking one gallon of alcohol. ninety
five per cent, one pint of cold-pressed
castor oil for as much as the alcohol
will dissolved), and one ounce of the oil
of cinnamon.
A quaint device which furnishes a
good wooden wedding present is the
spoon pin-cushion," made in this way:
Two large wooden spoons are crossed
together with fancy ribbon and hung To
the wall with fiy-bows; in each bowl is
displayed silk pin-cushiOn.
Eggs a la Bonnie Femme: Boil three
fresh eggs for ten minutes, roll them 10
break the shells, shell them and cut IN
halves, and Just cut off the point of the
white so that they may stand well;
take out the yollxs and fill the white
cups thus: Two with beetroot (already
boiled), cut into tiny dice; two with
cold chicken or meat, cut into dice; two
with tiny dice of the yolks; place ON a
dish and garnish. Boston Herald.
Pastry for One Pie: One heaping
cup pastry flour, one saltspoon baking
powder, one saltspoon salt, one-fourth
cup of lard, one-fourth cup of butter.
Mix salt ana basing-powdcr with the
flour, and rub in he lard. Mix quite
stiff with cold water. Roll out, put the
butter on the paste in pieces the size of
beans, and sprinkle with flour Fold
over and roll out. Roll up like jelly
roll. Divide in two parts, and roll TO fit
the plate.
Minced Veal: Take some cold veal,
cut IL into slices and mince it very fine
with chopping-knife. Season IL to
your taste with pepper, salt and nut
meg. Put the bones and trimmings into
saucepan with little water and
simmer them over hot Goals to extract
the gravy from them. Then put the
minced veal into q stew-pan, pour the
gravy over it, add piece of butter the
size of an egg, rolled in flour and half a
tea cup of rich sweet milk or cream.
Let It all simmer together till thorough
" seasoned, but do not allow it to boil
lest the meat should become tasteless.
When you serve it up have ready some
three-cornered pieces of bread toasted
and buttered, place them all around
the inside of the dish.-EiOme.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

The day was cold and slees driving.
The train stopped at a little station in
Michigan. The forward door of the car
opened and a gentleman. in suit OF
black and cravat of white, entered; but.
without quite closing the door, he stood
peering searchingly through bis colored
spectacles at the few occupants. partic-
ularly at bevy of pretty misses.
Out spoke plain-looking passenger,
in a deprecatory but clear, loud voice:
shut that door,
His clerical majesty inclined his head.
as if doubling his ears, fixed upon the
speaker glance of dignified surprise,
and, in tone slightly nasal with . ris-
ing infection gently admOnitory, ex-
claimed, "Heow?"
Instantly came the reply; IVY. push
1t. you blamed fool!'-Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
PITH AND POINT.


Men are most likely to rave about
a woman's hair when il is found in the
butter.
Into each life some rain must fall.
and you are sure to be caught out IN il
without an observation-disclosures Globe.
Mrs. Brown-"Wbat color are your
little boys eyes?" Mrs. Robinson
"Black, generally. He's terrible
fighter"
You can tell more about a mans
character by trading horses with him
once than you can by hearing him talk
for year in prayer-meeting.
"A Confession. -Ie-"A penny for
your thoughts" She-"You'd find them
dear at the price" He-"What were
you thinking sbout?" She-"You."-
Boston Beacon.
Miss de Mure-"But why did you
get dropped, Mr.. Flage?" Mr.. Percy
Flage Gate '92)-"I didn't write all my
junior forensics." Miss de Mure-"Who
did?'-Harvard Lampoon.
II see by the paper that at the per-
formane- of your new play last night
there were several calls for the autho I"
That's a mistake in the print IL
should read authorities.
The Difference looks
something like Chappie-don't you think
so?'' Him! Well perhaps. But Maude
is much more masculine than he is in
appearance. "-Yenowine's News
First Tramp-"Hullo." Second
Tramp - "Hullo.' First Tramp -
'Where'd you git your new clothes?"
''Sh, Don't give il away, Farmers has
begun TO dress up the scarecrows in the
cornfeld"
You'll be a man like one of MS
some day" said the patronizing sports
man to a LAD who was throwing his line
into the same stream. 'sYes, sir" he
answered. II spose | win some day.
but b1ieve I'd rather stay small and
ketch few fish" Washington Star.
lie Will Find II in the pie.-Van
Jay-''I'm stuck on that pretty cock
down at the restaurant; she has the
finest head of blonde hair I ever saw.
] would like to have lock of it."
Young Osbourne-.'Ill put YOU on, my
dear boy; order piece of pic. Brook
Ign Citizen.
jogging His Memory. - Miss De
Peyster-'I have been trying to find
out where your daughter got her new
gown. Have you an idea?" Col. Bill
berwick (grimlyl--"I ought to know.
The woman she bought it from has
been around to my Office every day for
month. Cloak Review.
What is the meaning of bearded
like a pard. dear?' said Angelina to
Edward. as they were occupying a sim
gle armchair in the parlor one evening.
II don't know" replied Edward, with
an anxious look toward the door; but
after I've bearded your pa, dear, can
probably tell you" - Boston Tran
script
The Rules Must be Complied With.
-Robber Ito bank tellerl-"Im Bloody
Jim, tn Rip Roaring Shorter of the
Rockies; hand over that there cash"
Bank Teller mechanically have
no doubt, personally, sir, that you are
Bloody Jim, the Rip Roaring Shorter
of the Rockies but. sir, You will have
to get somebody TO identify you."-N.
Y. Herald.
Enthusiastically what's the
matter with you?" exclaimed one anna
teur bear-hunter to another as they
paused long enough 70 realize that they
had managed to outrun the grizzly.
whats the matter with you. anyway
I've often heard you boast of your legal
aspirations. and here you've been run
ming away from a sure chance to be adj
mitted to the bar. boston Courier.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

DIR. +. A. F. Penrose, jr., illustrates
in his career in a striking manner what
is called devotion TO science" A few
years ago he was stroke oar in the uri-
yersity crew at Harvard He comes OF
; wealthy and well-known Philadelphia
family. and has brothers who occupy
high scientific and political positions in
the east. HIS work for several years has
been In Arkansas, where he has made
q most exhaustive study of the man
ganese deposits AS the result of his
Investigations, it is established that Ar
kansas now ranks third among the
states of the Union in the possession
If this mineral. which is growing more
md more valuable
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
Astonishing sagaclty of a DOG.

A woman residing in the neieh Dor.
hood of Melrose, Scotland, wife of an
industrious and respectable laborer,
had for a considerable time been sub
ject To epileptic attacks, which came on
generally in the course of the day.
She had no servant, and her children
We're too young to render her any as
sistance during the paroxysms. The
want of an attendant was. however. in
some measure supplied. in the absence OF
her husband, by faithful and sagacious
collie dog. which no sooner perceived its
mistress endeavoring with difficulty TO
reach her bed, than he ran bowling for
her husband, and continued barking
and bowling until he found him. when
he returned with him to the house, the
faithful dog leading the way, and APP
pearing delighted to see his master
coming 10 his wife's assistance. Upon
no occasion wa this dog known to neg
lect his duty when his mistress was
taken i'll, and at whatever distance
from home his master may have hap
peued TO be at work, he did not cease
running with all his speed, bowling all
the time in the most piteous manner
until he was able To find HMM. Y.
Ledger.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

Wrought iron was largely used by the
Greeks and Romans; and they seem
also TO have been acquainted with cast
iron. although it was supposed to have
been scarcely known to them until re-
cent explorations established different
belief. But. as usually occurs when the
relative antiquity of any product or de-
vice is the subject of debate, the Chinese
come in to throw all competitors out OF
court. In this case, they are credited
with having made use of wrought iron
and steel two thousand years and cast
iron four hundred years before Christ.
They built a bridge with cast-iron
columns, over a ravine one thousand
feet deep in the first century of the
Christian ra-Mechanical News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
SHEPHERD LULLABY.

The silver moon high In the sky
Although the clouds is creeping;
The soft winds sigh a lullaby
While bonny BARN is sleeping.
Hush. baby-hush, my darlingi
Heigho: Hi-laddiel
Out in the night wee jasper stars
Above thy cot are peeping
And al thy side sweet angels bide.
Their silent watches keeping
Sleep. baby. sleepi-so weary,
Thy mother loves her deariei
Hush. little one. and take thy rest
With peaceful dreams beguiling.
Upon thy breast the fairies nest,
Their dewy tips a-smilinz.
Hush. baby-hush, my darlingi
Heigho Hi-laddie.
So close thy drowsy blue. bell eyes
With never thought of sighingi
On misty wing. while elfins sing,
Old witches are a-flying.
Sleer, baby. sleep i-nos fear thee.
Thy mother loves her dearie
Sleep, little lambkin. softly sleep.
hear thy father calling.
While he doth keep the gentle sheep
Ghost shadows are a-falling;
Hush, baby--hush. my dar.iugl
Heigho; Hi-laddiei
Up In the sky golden web
The dream gods are a-weavlng.
With tinkling song they fit along;
Beware, They are deceivingl
Sleep. baby, sleep.-so weary,
Thy mother loves Der deariel
Joan La Rue Burnett. in Youths Companion
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
Money Madness.

Avarice certainly seems more like a
madness than a crime. The miser is
like the fool who would spend his life
in accommodating lakes of pure, cold wa
ter. and yet suffer thirst. What is
money but the representative Of things
for use and enjoyment? Then what is
the hoarder of gold but crazy fellow
who thinks more of the key to a palace
than of the comfort and beauty stored
in its spacious halls and chambers?-N-
Il Ledger
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
English as she o.xht Not

The typewriter typewrites on the
typewriter. The typewriter lives a
Englewood and rides in and out on the
train every day except on Sunday,
when she goes to church; but the type
writer has not left the Rookery build
ing for more than year. When the
typewriter goes to lunch she locks up
the typewriter. and on her return the
typewriter sits down opposite the type
writer and typewrites some more
T. S.-The typewriter has told the
typewriter and she is going to be mar
ried-James Maitland. in Erkansaw
Traveller.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

The crown prince Of Japan, who Is
at present a pupil in the school for
mobiles at Toxic. is said to be bright
and industrious boy. lie has just
finished the fourth year in the ele-
mentary department 1t is said that be
did not miss one day at school during
the last year.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
Among the Hostnes.

Mrs. Major Murgatroyd-And you
like being a soldiers wife? But then
he has not yet been in active service
Mrs. Lieutenant Creme - oh, yes!
You have no idea how hard Percy has
to fight to be retained in Washington
Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

"A Bridgeport Comm boy was re-
Gently treated for cut in his foot al
the Emergency hospital. After probing
to the depth of an inch the surgeon felt
an object that was removed with diff
Guilty. 1t proved to be live snail about
the size of hazelnut
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
German
S,yrup"

Martinsvil1e, NJ, Methodist Par
sonage. My acquaintance with
your remedy, Boschee's German
Syrup, was made about fourteen
years ago, when 1 contracted Cold
which resulted in a Hoarseness and
Cough which disabled me from
filing my pulpit for a number of
Sabbaths. After trying a Physician,
without obtaining relief-I cannot
say now what remedy he prescribed
Il saw the advertisement of your
remedy and obtained a bottle. I
received such quick and permanent
help from it that whenever we have
had Throat or Bronchial troubles
since in our family, Boschee's Ger
man Syrup has been our favorite
remedy and always with favorable
results. l have never hesitated to
report my experience of its use to
others when 1 have found them
troubled in like manner" REV.
w. H. HACGARTY,
Of the Newark, New a Safe
Jersey, ME. Confer
snce April IS, 90. Remedy.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

-Gushley--As they roamed over
the ballroom her liquid eyes met mine.
Sympathetic Friend-"And asked en-
to take a drink. suppose. New
York Telegram.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
c. c. GREEN, Sole Man'fr. Woodbury., n,

Vile cod-liver oil has lost
its vlleness in SCOTS Emul-
sion and gained a good deal
in efficiency.
1t is broken up into tiny
drops which are covered with
glycerine, just as quinine in
pills is coated with sugar
or gelatine. You do not get
the taste at all.
The hypophosphites of
lime and soda add their tonic
effect to that of the half-di-
gested cod liver oil.
Let us send you a book on
CAREFUL LIvING-free.
Scorr & BoVvsH. Chemists. Tss South ssh Avenue.
Nav York
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
The Term at Last Defined.

willie-Pa, what's rhinestone?
Father-A glass instrument used to
skin suckers. -Jeweler' Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10
DONALD KENNEDY
Of ROxbury, Mass, says

Kennedy's Medical Discovery
cures Horrid Old Sores. Deep
Seated Ulcers of 40 years
standing, Inward Tumors, and
every disease of the skin. ex-
cept Thunder Humor, and
Cancer that has taken root
Price, $3.50. Sold by every
Druggist in the u. 6. and
Canada.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-12-10

Al the year rCieyId
ia the time when DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery works the best.
1t purifies the blood.
It's not like the sarsaparillas,
which claim to do good in March,
April, and May; you can depend
upon it ol5odys That's why it is
guaranteed. If it doesn't benefit or
cure, in every case for which it's
recommended, you have your money
back.
No other medicine of its kind
saws as much but no other does
as much. 1t cleanses, renews and
invigorates the entire system. For
all skin, scalp and scrofulous affec.
tons, as Eczema, letter, Salt-rheum,
White Swellings, Hip-joint Disease,
and kindred ailments, it's positive
cure.
The proprietors of DR.. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy offer $500 for an
incurable case of Catarrh. 1t isn't
mere talk its business.
They mean to pay you, if they
can't cure you. But you'll find
that thew can.