The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-01-09
NAUTICAL LANDsMEN.
A Nuisance That Infc.ts Ocean Steamers
and Affects Sailor Apparel.


and Affects Sailor Apparel.
There Is ono sea monster that has
never yet been known to desert his
post. This is tho nautical landsman.
No steamer over crosses the ocean with
out him. When you see man pacing
the deck as if he owned 1t, and dressed
as much like tho officers of tho ship as
he can DO without wearing the actual
badges OF the companys service, thaa is
tho nautical landsman. Tho chances
are, says tho New York Tribune, that
he has never been at sea before, but ho
can tell moro about navigation than all
the rest OF the ships company put to-
gethcr, barring whatever other nautical
landsmcn may chance to DO on board
1t is only envious pride that prevents
tho captain from asking his advice, and
it is really wonderful how man can
know SO much who has had SO few OBJ
portunitics to learn.
sometimes the nautical landSman is g
pore, and sometimes he is only amusing.
One OF tho former sort who crossed tho
Atlantic on ono Of tho fast lines recent
ly choso to wear n suit of navy blue
with brass buttons, and cap with an
anchor embroidered on the front OF it in
red and gold. Ho looked so much like
an officer of tho ship that tho passcn-
gers often mistook him for one, and
found tho resemblance, which was at
first amusing, in the end positive an
noyancc. Several of them accordingly
formed an offensive and defensive alli-
anco to get rid of tho nuisance,
and they agreed on this plan:
Each was to go to tho nautical
landsman in turn and ask him somo
question, pretending to mistake him for
an officer. If one application of tho
remedy did not effect euro second
was to be tried, and rs many more pas
scngcrs as possible were to be induced
to help in the work. 81 beg pardon,
sir" said one, but could you tell mo
about how soon wo arc likely to SEQ
some iccbcrgs? That is, OF course, sup
posing that VIC meet any ut all" "Will
you kindly explain to u.s. asked
another, why tho water is such a
bright green behind tho ship. when it
isn't green at all anywhere clsc?" My
friends and |" said a third, "aro anxious
to sec tho engines; arc VIC allowed to do
so? We should be very glad if you
could come with us and explain how
they work, if you arc not too busy"
1--WE havc had n dispute about tho longi-
tudo of FastneJ Rock" said another,
land we have agreed to leave it to you;
will you kindly tell US what it is exact
Typ" Docs the captain really have
much 10 do with the running of tho
ship. or does he leave 1t mostly to you?"
and so on all day.
The first day tho poor wretch had to
twn Inv,
count that he had nothing to do with
the ship. Tho second day he explained
| 1T twcnty-siX times before tho gong
sounded for luncheon. He did not come
to luncheon 1T all, though ho had never
missed n course before since tho third
day of the voyage, when he first began
to tako luncheon. lie was not seen in
the afternoon. He appeared at dinner in
dark gray suit, and when he camo on
deck he wore 4 hclmet-shaped cap that
looked as if it had belonged to set that
hung in tho barber shop.
nautical landsman on another ocean
steamer the other day met the captain
and said: Captain, YOU have the most
horrible liar up there on the lookout on
| tho forcmast that ever saw" The cap
tain shuddc red as no cast up his eye at
| the truSty seaman on the lookout, Won
dcring Ii he were pirate in disguise,
and asked: GLOW is that?" why"
} said tho nautical landsman, Tho other
night when we were having that rough
weather, woke up and heard him sing
out AIS welln and assure you nobody
and nothing was we'll in my statc-room
or in any of those around"
But the nautical landsman is not
found on tho sea alone. He delights in
the river and harbor excursion steamer,
for he is not scasick there, at least not
always. Going down tho harbor on Il
small steamer few days ago, u single
stroke of a bell was heard. what does
that mean?" SAID some ono. "IIalf-past
eight" replied the nautical landsman
promptly. "But do tho bells strike the
half hours on these little excursion
boats?" asked the first 80 it seems"
tho nautical landsman answered, show
ing his watch, which indicated Just
eight-thirty, with the air OF having
solved one of the mysteries OF tho arcs
at was that bell buoy out there
that struck said q third. ''Tho
wavo that came along just then
was the only ono this morning
big enough to ring ii; If we were to wait
here till nine o'clock no doubt two waves
would come and strike two bells" Tho
nautical landsman surrendered uncon-
ditionally, but begged the discovcrcr OF
tho bell buoy not to- mention his name if
Q published the story.
An Illuminated Div.n.s Dress.
a new diving dress has been adopted
by the French navy. 1t contains but