The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-10-28
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
Lots of Things Happen, but Its Always
Mrs. BOwser's Fault.

Lots of Things Happen. but Its AlwayS
Mrs. BOwser's Fault.
One day Mr.. Bowser brought home a
patent corkscrew. which some fakir had
sold him. and Mrs Bowser saw him drop
it into wallpocket. A week later, after
wandering around the house for half an
hour one evening, he halted before her and
said
I'm be hanged if don't get some chains
and padlocks aud see if | can't have things
left where put themP
What is il nowY"
Il brought home a can opener few
DAYS ago and left it on bracket in the
dining room It's gone. of course-prcO-
ably gwen away to some big, lazy trampi
It's wonder we have thing left in this
houseP
"A can opener'"
Eyes. a can opener If you never heard
of a can opener I'll hire some one to write
you ont history of it, 1t was invented to
open cans
"Why we have two or three in the
Kitchen Do you mean a can opener?"
II don't mean wiudmills or threshing
machines"
"You had it in pink paper3"
"Yes. ma am
1T was the day the man fixed the gatef"
at was" ~.
well, | saw you drop it in that wall
pocket, and 1t is corkscrew and not a
can opener So
at is chr Perhaps Idon't know hitch
ing post from the city hail." he growled,
as he reached for the parcel and unrolled
it. 1t was corkscrew 1t could only be
used as a corkscrew 1t was made and sold
for a corkscrew
Didn't tell your" queried Mrs. Bowser
Tell me what Told me it was cork
screw. and it's can opener, just as l said
it WASP
IT'S a corkscrewp'
Its a can Openerr
And as long as Mr. Bowser draws the
breath of life he will stick to it, because he
said 50 in the first place.
| Like other husbands Mr.. BOwser is
greatly worried over the safety of his wal
| let while around the house. He has an
/ idea that Mrs Bowser would give ten years
of her life TO get that wallet in her hands
! for about two minutes, and that she lies
! awake good share of every night in the
| year wondering where he hid 1t when he
went 10 BEJ. ne makes IL a IcllElOliS OlO1
| TO conceal it every night and to count over
| his funds tie first thing in the morning.
! One morning, strange as it may seem, he
| left the house without taking his wallet,
which he had hidden the night before
! under the bureau He had been gone
| about an hour when there was a great
/ chatter on the front steps, the door flew
/ open and he rushed into the back parlor
and stood before Mrs BOwser.
She was so upset that she could only
| family gasp
"Mr Bowser, is mother dead"
Mother deadr' he yelled in reply.
What do | know about your motheri
! Mrs Browser, Pve been robbed"
MOP
And in my own house at thatl Some
time during the night some one got out of
bed and stole my wallet"
"Impossiblel Was il in your coat"
NV ell, no-not exactly. For fear Of bur
glars I'-
Voc what'" she asked. as be hesitated
and looked confused.
he rushed up stairs, and she followed in
time to see him pull the wallet from under
the dresser.
Then you were not robbed" she tartly
| observed.
''N-no-not quite; not this time But let
this be a great moral lesson TO you, Mrs.
Bowser. never to NEEDLE with my wallet.
/ That's something no husband will put up
/ with"
Il never touched your old wallet"
And see that you never dol And don't
talk back, Mrs Bowser. You have had a
very narrow escape, aud you ought to be
thankful for livery thankful some
I husbands would have raised row, but
| think you understand me, and think
the lesson will not be lost on You. M
Quad in New YORK World