The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-02
Mr.. Dntz Courted lis wife.

IL do II y"
Polhsmns Diltz laid down the paper he was
reading, says the Chicago Tribune. put his
nose glasses back in his pocket, took his hat
and Overcoat down from their hook, and
started home
walked along. I'll court my vi Q as il she
were girl again, the way the fellow did in
that newspaper story l expect it'll 20 pretty
tough, he reflected, throwing away his cigar
preached his home. i've been a good deal Of
a rhinoceros about the house. and it's a hard
thing to break OF old hahits all at Once. but
III give It a trial II il takes the hide cff"
Mr.. Dlltz entered the houss and hung his hat
and overcoat in the hall. instead of throwi ng
them down in q heap on the sofa in his usual
fashion. Then he vent on tiptoe upstairs. put
on his best necktie, combe 1 his b air carefully,
and came softly downstairs again.
Mary JaneP he called out. Where are
you. dearY''
''out here, answered voice in the kitchen.
Did you bring that package OF chocolate l
tod you not TO forget when you went down
town this mOrninR?"
Why, no" said Mr. Dntz, regretfully, as he
went into the kitchen. Il forgot il, dear"
Mrs Diltz looked at him suspiciously. He
hadn't called her ''dear" for eleven We rs
49,, You forgot it, HumPnl just expected it.
What are you up to now?"
This query, somewhat sternly uttered, was
prompted by an unexpected forward movement
on the part OF Mr.. Diltz.
Don't you see I'm cleaning this chicken?"
she exclaimed. Look out! You'll make me
cut myself. I'm working at the gizzard. A man
has no business poking round in the kitchen
when he can't do any good"
Mr.. Diltz stepped back. He had intended to
kiss his wife, but concluded to postpone the
matter for a little while
Mary Jane" he said, my dear"
What are you all slicked up for, anyhow?
mo. love. expect to spend the rest Of the
day at home l came an hour or two earlier,
thinking"
~ Il wish you had brought that chocolate.
That's what wish
Darling" said Mr.. Diltz, THAT'S no way
TO go to work at a gizzard. Let me"
Maybe you know more about this kind of
work than ] do. Maybe haven't cleaned hun
dreds of chickens since I've been keeping house.
What are you shopping around out here for
anyhow. with your hair all plastered down and
that smrk on your face?"
MY dearest Mary Jane, -
"Polhemus," broke in his wife, laying down
the portion of the fowls anatomy she had been
dissecting, and looking at him keenly, what on
earth is the object of this palavering? What new
dodge are you trying to work now?"
why, Mary Jane, I've made up my mind to
try TO get along with you in a diff"
ITO get along with mel What do you meany
Do you tell me I'm hard to get along wth?'
Not at all, Mary Jane; not at all l was
only going 10 say that we might live together
more comfortably. you know, if-or-it we'd
like cats and dogs
who says we act like cats and dogss Look
here, Polhemus, you've been drinking"
Its blamed l-now. Mary Jane, don't you
give way to that temper of yours"
who started this fussY'
''You did,
II didn't. You did yourself"
81 didn't"
"You did"
You know better"
Tell your wife she lies, do you? Well, it
isn't the first time. If you have any business to
attend to at your office there will be plenty time
for you to do it before supper. I'll get along,
don't need any help on this chicken"
"Diddledy dod swim the da gone old henr'
shouted Mr.. Diltz beside himself with rage
"Dad-swizzle its gol-dinged old carcassr'
He went out of the Kitchen slamming the
door behind him, and in less than quarter of
minute later he was on his way back to his
Office, muttering exctedy to himself and crush
ing the inoffensive sidewalk hard beneath his
vindictlve heel as he strobe along.
Mr.. Diltz has not entirely given up the idea OF
counting bis wife, but he has registered cast
iron VOW never to undertake the job again when
she is ana tomizing q chicken.