davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
BRIGHT BITS.


Two OR THREE YEARS AGO the first woman bill
collector started the rounds in Atchson. Now
more than half The collecting is done by women
and the people have learned to ask them to
call again Tomorrow without embarrassment
or hesitation.-AtchiSon Globe.
WHAT Jane, said the mistress. breaking in
on the ehambermaid in the kitchen, lis it posi-
BILE that you have two different loversg'
NO ma am; not at all, ma an. I'm engaged
to be married to the one who was here last
night, ma am. Philadelphia Times.
WHAT do you think Of Smith,
81 think he is very bright fellow"
We'll, you know he Doesn't speak well OF
what do you suppose I care what an ass like
Smith thinks Of me?'-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
'IHEAR that you are engaged to Lord Hard
squoze, said bel to her wealthy friend. rs
it SOY"
30, no" said the business-like young woman.
II shouldn't say we were engaged, but IL
have an option on him.aU Washington Star.
"WH4E sad face she has 1t looks as If it
might have a woful life history"
III has, She was disappointed in love when
young She has never been able to get over It. "
Did he jilt her. or die, or what?''
Neither; he married her. Detroit Free
Press. t4 srl
DAuGHrER-Papa I want to get married. All
the other girls of my set are getting married
Papa Nondlyl-Aud what the mischief do Won
want to get married for?
Daugnter-For better. or worse, papa. I'm
snre that's enough, isn't it?-Detroit Free
Press.
'PApA. is my UncleZeke good farmerY''
mo, Dickey. He leaves his agricultural i'm
pigments out in the weather and they get all
rusted.' 90
after prolonged mental strugglel-"Papa,
is that the way he got his teeth all rusted!h-
Chicago Tribune.
'TALMAeE is not doing much with his new
What makes you think so' heard he was
doing splepdidly. a~oa-Cs
Guess Io.. I read IN the paper the other
up reckon. ''-TerGs .STtinQs.
SAY HARRY" said one small boy to an
other, 'they's peoples In the moon"
yves, they is My pa5said So"
How does you pa know? He was never in
NO, but he is out every night and sees lots. I
guess he Knows more'n MS st. LOUIS Republic
AFFAIRS in this distracted world
Are sometimes twisted badly;
Iotry to get them. straightened out
Would worry one most sadly.
FOR instance. there's man know,
It's odd, there's no denying.
Who now for twenty years or so,
Has made his living dyeing.
Youths Companion.
CHARLIE has had such bad luck with
watches" said young Mrs locker. He lost
two because they got saturated ."
Charlie said they got soaked, " remarked his
mother
II know. but saturated is q much prettier
word and means the same thing. These rains
are so penetrating; suppose they got INTO the
works and rusted them. = WASHINGTON star.
STRANGE" said Mrs. Jones, as she locked up
the house, ''how old fashions come in again ="
what is it, nowY" asked Mr.. Jones, yawn-
ing.
why, Mr.. Simmons passed Just now and I
guess he thought it was you he was talking to-
for he called out that he was going down the
street to get nigbtcap."
Aud Mr. Jones didn't enlighten her but he
wished-O, how he wished-he had gone shop
ping with Simmons. Free Press.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
Honesty, Not Style, Needed.

The Philadelphia Press. the leading re-
publican organ of Pennsylvania, in COM
msnting upon the resolutions adopted
Wednesday by the republican state conven-
ton Of that state. says: "The silver plank is
a curiosity, and betrays the need Of a COM
mittee on stvle, clearness and precision to
revise the deliverances Of the convention.
The platform undertakes to 'indorse the
| action OF the Fifty-first congress 10 provid-
ing for the purchase and coinage Of all the
silver produced from American mines,
and it recommends tariff duties 70 keep
out foreign silver. The Fifty-frst
congress passsd no act providing fer
the purchase and coinage of all
American silver. It provides for the yearly
purchase Of 100000 ounces OF silver,
without limiting it to American silver, aud
the issue of treasury notes in payment Of
the same, only so much Of the bullion to be
coined as is necessary to provide for the re-
dempton of the treasury notes. II the
committee on resolutions simply meant to
approve the silver bullion act Of the last
congress, they would have done better to
refer to it by title and not have attempted
to describe it without having its provisions
clearly in mind
Doubtless Mr.. Quay and other republican
leaders feel like kicking their party organ
for unintentiona.ly exposing their little
scheme. They ought to have sent special
messenger from Harrisburg 70 tell the Press
not to maze the blunder of surprising the
committee on resolutions and the conveu-
| ton did not know the meaning and scope of
the last silver act, and it is probable that
the Press would not have blundered had 1t
not been 50 anxious to show that it knew all
about the silver act.
No doubt the wording of the silver reso-
luton was intentional. The purpose. it is
safe 70 say, was to convey the impression
that the act provided for the coinage OF the
whole silver product Of American mines.
An impression of that sort would tend to
satisfy those republicans who, although
knowing nothing about the silver question,
are demanding free silver coinage.
1t was q rather shrewd scheme on the part
of the leaders of the Harrisburg convention.
And to think that their own party organ
should have spoilt it by trying to show that
the men who framed the silver resolution
we're unable to express themselves clearly
or were ignorant of the matter about which
they undertook to instruct the people!
lead the people again they will have to take
their organ into their confidence. Other
wise it will spoil their work.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
They Ought 70 Be Satisfied.

Col. Livingston, DR.. Macune and others
who were so literally Endorsed By the ALI
/ ance convention doubtless feel much more
/ comfortable than they did few days ago.
/ They were not certain unit. the convention
| acted that they would no; be called upon
to defend themselves against some ugly
| charges. They had power enough, now
! ever, to prevent any charges from being
! presented, and they hope, PROBABLY that
| nothing more will be heard o. the charges
The people know, Of course, what the
/ charges against DR.. Macune are. They were
! examined By q committee at the Ocala con-
! yentiou. and q report generating him was
adopted 4 member OF the committee, how
I ever said that the report was a white
washing one and was made to prevent
scandal. The member who made this state
neot IS Mr. Hall, president Of the Missouri
alliance. In view Of the fact that the
charges were made in connection with the
senatorial election in this state last year it
is rather remarkable that the alliance con-
ye1tion at Atlanta took no notice Of them.
It's not vet known what Gov. Northen's
charges against Col Livingston are. 1t
cannot be possible that they are trivial.
The governor is no; the kind Of man to
deal in trivialities. And tbs proof that the
charges are not trivial is found in the fact
that Col Livingston, who controlled the
convention absolutely, would not permit
taem TO be presented 1t is true that he
said, when an attemp. was made to get
them before the convention. that an oppOr-
tuuity would be given 70 present them, but
the opportunity never came. and it is fair
TO presume that Col. Livingston took good
care that it did not.
Col. Livingston may be innocent Of any
wrong doing, but in this matter he has not
acJed like an Innocent man. He has not
demanded to meet his accusers face to face.
1t Is understood that the governor is MS &C.
cuser, and the governor was in the conven-
ton and tried to get hearing for the dele
gate who was to speak for him.
Col Livingston would appear TO much
better advantage if he had called for an in
vestigation OF the charges. The course he
has pursued with respect to thsm leaves on
the minds Of many the impression that he is
afraid Of al investigation. That is certainly
q rather unpleasant position for the head Of
the alliance 10 occupy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
Arab Humor

At a time Of great drought schoolmaster,
accompanied by his pupils, went out to pray
for rain. He was met by an inquisitve fellow,
writes Prof. A. S. Isaacs in the Independent who
asked where they were going. I'VE are going
10 pray for rain" the teacher replied; God
WIZ hear the prayers of innocent children. -
If that were 80, answered the man, there
would be no teachers alive One day in the
coftee-house singer sang melody whose re-
train was Let lover do what he may, he IS to
be excused" His voice was execrable, and vet
he persisted In repeating the song. At last
wag, who could endure it no longer, threw a
cup OF sherbet in his face; when the singer
angrlly inquired the reason, he rejoined why
l am In love, and am TO be excused THE
oriental Joe Miller is parent to many jests that
are still current among us. For instance,
preacher in a mosque began the history of
Noah with this citation from the koran:
II have called Noah Unluckily
and repeated the same words over again At
last an Arab exclaimed: IF Noah will not
come call somebody else." More careful was
another preacher who was sheik as we'll One
Friday when the mueZZin rang out the call for
prayer he mounted the pulpit in tine mosque
and asked the people if they knew about what
he intended to preach to them. mo" they re
piled. ell, then, l shall not tell you" aud
be stepped down. The next Friday he asked
the same question. and now, taught by expe-
renee, they answered Yes, we know" Well
If you know, you do not need me to tell you
and again he stepped down. The third Friday
when the same inquiry made, the people
SAID: Some of us know and some don't know"
In that case" the preacher rejoned let
those OF you VINO know tell those who don't
know" And again there was no sermon.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
A Good Word for Pattison.

Gov. Pattison of Pennsylvania is being
spoken of in connection with the democratic
nomination for President in many parts OF
the west, and even in the south he is not
without admirers. Outside of Penusylva-
MIA, however, none of the democratic Lead
ers have expressed for publication the opin-
ion that he has a chance for the nomina-
ton. There are republican leaders, how
ever, who think that he will have a strong
following in the next national democratic
convention. At Bedford Springs, Pa. the
other day. Stephen B. Elkins, Blaine's
great friend, and one of the most prominent
of the republican leaders, declared that he
thought Gov. Pattison's chance for the
nomination better than that Of either Hill
or Cleveland. In the course Of his talk he
said: II have heard no man more fire.
| quently mentioned by prominent democrats
recently in connection with the nomination
for President in 1892 than the handsome
young governor of Pennsylvania. II were
a democrat l would rather have his chance
for the nomination than that Of any other
man in the United States"
There is no doubt that Gov. Pattison is
public men who have had so remarkable a
political career. He haG been in politics since
he was very young mon and he has never
met with defeat at the polls, notwithstand-
ing the fact that his home is in the repub-
lican city of Philadelphia and that there is
a very large republican majority in Penn
sylvania.
He was elected controller OF Philadelphia
twice and has been elected governor twice
Until recently he was not thought to be a
shrewd politician nor a man of conspicuous
ability. Each time he has been elected the
people have voted for HIM because they be-
lieved him to be a thoroughly honest man,
and his career in office has been such as to
justify the confidence placed in him.
II it were believed that he could carry
Pennsylvania as a candidate for President
there is not much doubt that he would be
the democratic standard bearer next year.
But it is not believed that he could. Penn
sylvania republicans close up their ranks
aud vote solidly for their ticket in presiden-
tial years, and, however much Pennsylva-
mans admire Gov. Pattson, it is doubtful If
many Of those OF them who are republicans
would vote for him for President. Unless
it can be demonstrated pretty clearly that
he could carry his own state the talk of
making him the democratic nominee fer
President will not amount to great deal
He is a young man, yet, however, and the
time may not be distant when be can come
| forward as a presidential candidate feeling
that he can depend upon the electoral vote
| of his state.
Just at present Mr.. Cleveland is the most
prominent democratic presidential candi-
date. Notwithstanding the attacks of his
enemies his popularity does not show any
signs of waning. And next to him Senator
German seems to be the favorlte.
The steady growth Of Mr.. Cor
mans popularity is beginning to attract a
great deal Of attention.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
Allan Thought God Was Angry.

The present visit of Gen. Alger to this city,
says the San Francisco Call, recalls an incident
of his last visit here which is peculiarly touch
ing in It's nature. At that time Allan Alger.
who died last February. was O bright-eyed,
curly haired little fellow Of s, a thorough boy
and the pet of the family.
ITO that time. related the general "he had
never retired at night without first saying his
prayers, but one day we had been out to the
Cliff house and through the park so that the
little fellow was well-nigh worn out when we
returned to our rooms at the Palace The re-
suit was that he lay down to rest and in a few
moments was fast asleep. Not having he heart
to disturb him, his mother and undressed him
and carefully put him TO bel Late in the
evening an earthquake occurred, and the great
building rocked violently to and fro. l Will con
fess that we were all alarmed, and our two
daughters rushed headlong into the room
thoroughly frightened by the unusual expert.
ence. In the midst OF this confusion little
Allan sprang out of bed, and realizing what mad
occurred, fell upon his knees
when he arose he said; That was because
forgot TO say my prayers, and God is angry.
He never missed saying them again
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Connecticut probably now contains six Of
the maddest as well as the sickest men
in the United States. They were re-
Gently invited to eat "coon chowder" with
Mr. Sam Starr at Birmingham. But Mr..
Starr happened not to have a 'coon"
handy. So he made them eat dog. They
did not recognize the cur as they cheerfully
chewed him up. But Starr thought it too
good joke to keep. Yet when he proceeded
to make a neat little speech TO apprise them
that they had been eating stale dog every
man OF the six was suddenly "took bad
in the stummick, A." as Starr expressed it.
Within two minutes they were actually too
sick to fight, although they wanted to
trounce the joker awfully. And it is said
that between grunts they are still swearing
to slaughter him just as soon as they can
forget the taste of that last plug of dog.
Meanwhile Mr.. Starr would do well to
emigrate.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

m woRy1xs NEWS Is on file at the following
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formation regarding the paper can Dc ootsined'
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
MEDICAL.
HEALTH L WEALTH |
MDICAL

Oh. E C. VESTS NERVE ND BRAIN TzK.-.
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Premature Old Age. Barrenness, Loss of Poyss,
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for $500. sent by mail prepaid on recent of -
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
70 cure any case. win eacl order receive by
US for six boxes, accompanied with S. OF wa
viii send the purchaser our written guaratee
to refund the money if the treatment doesDot
S SIIeS cure; guarantees issued only by lHE
HEIDI DRUG CO.. Sole Agents, SavannahPa
For Chafi2g, Prickly Heat, use Boracine Tles
Powder. s. cents.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
EDBY TO NBW ADVERTISEMENTS.

NEE7ISGs-Ficelity Castle No. :, K. G. E.
SPECIAL NoT1CEs-Grand Concert at Tosch-
ack's Pavilion Sunday. Aug. %; AS to Crews OF
Norwegian Banks Brodrene and Louise; Base
Ball To-day, Centrsls VS.. Guytons.
Don't WEAR EvERyBoDY's BATHING SUIT-B.
Il. Levy & Bro.
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULE - ocean Steamship
Company.
CHAP CoLUsS ADvERTIsEXKSTs-HeloW Want
eli; Employment wAntsd; For Rent; For Sale:
Lost: Personal. Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Profs. Matt Quay and Chris Magee &C.
tually shook hands in the Pennsylvania con-
vention, the telegraph tells us. That's
proper BY way of faint imitation Of the
customary civilities of the dueling cartel it
is said that the rules of the London prize
ring require two combstants to shake
hands before they ''let go" and begin to slug
one another. So far as possible Quay and
Msgee have always given each other the
shake. There is every indication that each
would very much like to give the other
Knockout blow. But they can at least unite
on one thilg. They both delight to bolster
ously jump on Harrison and "walk around. 4"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Bitter opposition to Harrison is said to be
rapidly organizing in Indiana, and the peo-
pie interested declare that Harrison shall
certainly not have full delegation, even
though they cannot prevent him from get
ting the necessary majority of it, and they
will even then oppose any unit rule and
fight him to the last. They are "agin him"
in dead earnest
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Under the provisions Of the last will OF
James Russell Lowell all of his property ex-
cept his library goes to his daughters
family But most of bis library is be-
queathed to Harvard. As literary eIecu.
tor Charles Eliot Norton will get all of his
papers. and will probably from time to
time publish such manuscripts as the poet
Life
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Detective O'Malley has again begun to
buster around New Orleans, and breathe
defiance and future vengeance. Now he is
clanioring for trial, and the citizens COM
mittee should get together their counsel and
testimony and see that he gets good one.
Give him one of those trials that people mix
up with tribulations and complain of. 1t
will do him good, and have a tendency to
purify the atmosphere of the back alleys in
The Crescent City.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

When the authorities come to consider
the case of that Atlanta young lady. who is
supposed to be insane simply because she
talks too much, they should bear in mind
that if every woman were adjudged insane
for similar cause the asylums of the coun-
try would have to be greatly enlarged, and
they would then be always overcrowded
and resonant with feminine voices. But in
that case there would probably be fewer
insane men to be accommodated.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Since the Haytiau ministry SO precipi-
lately resigned a very good reason for it
has been disclosed. Something like 81 ,000,-
600 cannot be found, and the ex-ministers
may be called upon rather peremptorily to
account for it il they don't emigrate before
the necessary papers can be made out. But
they may get friendly committee to
whitewash them
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Judging by the talk Of the average tenn
perance evangelist he knows great deal
more about DECEASED drunkenness and
atrocious intoxicants than large number
of the subjects upon whom he attempts to
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
OUR NEW YORK OFFICE.

MRJJ.FLrSS, Genera! Advertising Agent
Of the MoRy1Se NsEs, oAio7 . PARK Row
New York Al advertising BUSINESS o11s'1e ol
The states Of Georgia F.ori4s and South Caro-
Ina vii be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Negotiations are said to be in progress for
the purchase Of the Kansas City Times
evening edition, to be removed to Topeka
as the Kansas organ of the third party.
For the purpose Of running such machine
third party stock company has been
formed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Hurricanes at Martinique are almost as
bad as the average revolt in Hayti. That
is a windy and tumultuous country down
that way
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Making rain by the bomb-bursting pro-
cess has proven quite success down in
Texas. When the farmers crops were suf-
brought down veritable torrents of rain
Gradually man is getting the elements of
this world into such shape that he can work
them to suit himself. But he has not yet
contrived to successfully stand off death.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
Been Studying the Meaning Of An
archy.
From the Philadelphia Press tRep.).

Anarchy is threatened in China. Anarchy
means disruption, dlsintegration. and immigra-
ton on larger scale than ever before This
BODIES no good to Europe or America. Rome,
overrun by the barbariane, was no more help
less than would America be il the celestial
hOrdeS were let loose upon her.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
Reqtstered al the Postofice in sararnah.


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Letters and kilograms should be Ao1FeaSe>-
"MoRNISG NEWS" " Savannah, Ga ,
Transient advertisements. other toan speclA4
column local or reading notices sIus7
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line. Fourteen lines OF agate type-e4Isi -
one inch space in depths the s-ao1Afa 81
rneasur-rent Contract rates and discounts
made known on application s. olslness once. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22
FLAvoRING EXTRACTS.
To Escapes:

To escape the worthless denominations offered under
the title of Flavoring Extracts, and force them out
of the market, rests wholly with consumers. They
are the ones that have to suffer. Look upon cheap
goods as evidence of their worthlessness. Pure
articles cannot be sold as cheap as aduterated ones
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-22

Experts have introduced evidence in the
Montana case of the alleged will of Million
aire Davis at Butte to show that the docu-
ment was rather skillfully manufactured to
look many years older than it really was by
the use of chemicals and other very simple
applications. 1t appears to have been q
part OF a very skillfully devised plot to get
possession Of the old mans vast wealth.