The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-02-06


One evening not long ago sat in the
"lndian room" of Mr.. Frank B. Con-
verses cozy New York home and listened
for an hour while my host and his gifted
wife, Harriet Maxwell Converse, enter
tained me with "reminiscences of their
famous cousin, Charles Farrar Browne.
better known to the world as Artemus
Ward.
1--WE were married in 1861" remarked
Mr.. Converse, land left America on
what may be called an unlimited we'd
ding journey. We wandered through
Europe and the Orient for five years.
and didn't turn our faces homeward I'M
til the early fall of 1866 Then. while
stopping at the Langhaln. in London, |
learned that Artemus was in town.
hunted him up. and he returned with
me to the hotel. His face was thin, his
eyes abnormally bright and his spirits
somewhat depressed. He had just con-
tributed his first article to Punch. 1t
didn't suit him In fact he regarded it
with scorn and referred to it as internal
gibberish.' Thus weighted down with
the blues, he greeted Mrs. Converse, and
after formal welcome had been ex-
changed, exploded: Harriet, how nice
your hair looks! | never can get mine
to suit. Indeed nothing about me curls
except this blamed big nose Of mine.
All the rest is angles
Then he went on to unburden his soul
of various grievances The chief of these
was his inability to secure a suitable
1all in which to deliver his lectures.
Finally he frightened up in the quaint
md lovable fashion that 80 endeared him
70 his friends. and suggested visit to
the theatre
"We'll get you nice seat, Harriet"
be urged, land then want Frank to
loaf around among the gods with me.
Perhaps can piok up q few ideaa'
Here is Mira Converse's version Of
what followed: 1.-THE boys saw me COM
.ortably placed in one Of the stalls and
then left Igrew interested as the play
progressed and had forgotten them for a
moment, when all at once the house was
filed with sharp. penetrating. uproar-
ious laugh 1t came from the top gal
lery, and looking up saw Artemus and
my husband surrounded by an amused
and sympathetic crowd Of people whose
attention had been distracted from the
stage by the funny H'American's sto-
ries. Quiet succeeded. but when the
curtain went down no one appeared to
escort me home. went to the front Of
the theatre and there found Frank try
ing to reason with his cousin. Artemus
was in one Of the widest Of his prank
sh humors, and was engaged in dissem-
mating information to cabman on the
results Of the civil war and the outlook
or reconstruction in the southern states.
It seems that the boys had left the gal
sry and were coming in from the street
take charge Of me when they were
.,reeted with the query:
'"Keb, gentsy
"Artemus stopped and remarked,
Frank, here's chance to do missionary
York Then turning to the driver he
tontinued: No, sir; don't wish keb,
)ut desire kebman. What is your
barge per hourr
1.-TWO and six anywhere in the city,
ir.
Here's your two and six and . shil-
ing extra for tip. Now, want you to
stand there, look me in the eye and re-
ceive instruction regarding the perilous
state OF affairs now prevalent in the
reat republic over which waves the
stars and Stripes
Frank AMI went home while he
vas still talking. He called next day
md remarked gleefully: Il poured red
not facts into that Britisher and the as
'embled multitude for twenty minutes.
Then cabby offered me the money back
20 let him off, and let"
The only place Browne thought suit
able for the delivery of his lectures was
Egyptian hall, and that CHANGED to be
.eased for the season to an English hui
.norist named George Rose. Rose, over
he nom de plume of Arthur Sketchly,
.!ad written lot Of articles on THE
Experiences Of Mrs Brown" These he
I'd utilized with some success as ma
.erial for course of lectures
Zone day." said Mr. Converse, Il
heard Artemus coming along the corri-
lor to our apartments laughing uproar-
ously. He burst through the door and
ried, Frank, if you'll help me think
-;an get Egyptian hall within the week.
All right, Ireplied, command my serv-
ces. He then outlined his scheme. That
,vening we dined with some friends, and
me of the guests to whom was intro
luced was Mr.. George Rose. What, |
xclaimed, is this the famous Arthur
ketchly whose works are so popular in
80 United StatesT He assented as to
ie name, but was surprised to learn of
IS foreign fame. | told him of the
eat fnrore his books had created. In
ed, l talked with him all evening.
I'd eyes and ears for no one else.
orshiped at the shrine of his genius,
ld finally remarked: What splen-
ID thing it would be, Mr.. Rose, now