The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-07-09
NjfIlln Eaglt
MISCElLANE

ting OF canoe more Chan forty years
ago, was fished up the other day.
An Oregon town has been enjoying
some queer foot contests One foot
race over plowed ground and another
over railroad ties, each for a large
stake, are among the unique events.
There is at a hotel in Chicago man
from northern Michigan who wishes TO
buy whole town ready built He
wants to be head of the place and have
his word accepted as law.
"A resident of Minneapolis has fallen
heir to three big fortunes, all Within
fifteen DAYS The smallest of the three
is more than s75, 900, and all are from
relatives totally unknown to the lucky.
man.
"A Young man who handled money
for New York firm with which he
was employed turned up missing the
other day. A reporter, writing about
1t. innocently said: His accounts were!
found to be all right His friends think
he is insane. Detroit Free Press.
i'm Oldbury, Worcestershire, En-
gland, life insurance club has been
uncovered where the offices of president
and treasurer were held by an under
taker, and that of secretary by his
daughter. 1t is charged it was SO man
aged as 20 put a premium on murder.
A woman living in a small village
near Allentown, Pa, was notified TO
come TO Reading to sign off her interest
In an estate, which was ninety-tive
cents. She declined to 90, because her
inheritance would not pay the ear fare.
The amount goes TO the state unless the
lawyers cover it in fees.
"A Michigan man tumbIed into
hole four feet deep one evening, and
supposing himself at the bottom Of
miEe-shaft forty feet deep, he put in
the night praying and halloing. When
morning came he climbed out and gave
a teamster dollar to boot him for
forty rods down the road.
Spring Chicken.-''Spring chicken,
sir. said the waiter as he put the hall
of diminutive fowl before a patron Of
table d'hote 1T certainly can't be =
summer one, " remarked the diner, as
he disposed of the portion in 4 single
mouthfuL lone swallow does not make
a summer. IN. Y Sun.
Young Man complaining to his
baker Of his bread)-"See here. Your
breads so hard can't eat it" Baker
Indignantly -"Young chap, I made
bread long before you was born"
Young Mani don't doubt it. sir: and
I Judge it's some of those same loaves
you've been selling ne
"A Reliable Prac5itioner.-Frien
"What did the doctor say about your
case?' InvaId-"He said he didn't
know what was the matter with me"
Friend-.Indeed? You evidently went
to a very old and experienced physi-
clan. D emorest's Monthly.
The Long Felt Want is Not Yet
Filled-Mrs. Ongwee-"What boon
to womeni A watch has been invented
that viii wind itself" Mr.. Ongwee -
What boon TO men it viii be when q
watch is invented that viii buy itself"
Jewellers Weekly.
The Real Trouble.-Wife TO the
husband who is driving nails)-"What
have You done? Please don't swear sou
Husband (savagely) -"Can't q man hit
q nail on the head If he wants top
Wife-"Then if You hit the nail on the
head what on earth is the matter?'
Husband-"My finger was on it at the
same time" - Smith, Gray Il Co
Monthly.
A good reason why no one has an
swered the old conundrum. What has
become Of all the pins?" Is that the
ends TO 'ch they come are as divers
as the uses to which they are put.
Many a billion of them must 90 into
the street cleaning carts, since at least
one citizen declares that he has never
once wanted a pin and failed 10 find il
at his feet somewhere on the sidewalk
of the block whereon ne has looked for
tn. y. Sun.
An immigrant girl arrived q: the
barge Office recently suffering from that
terrible scourge of poorly-fed people in
hot countries, elephantiasis This girls
case. however. would be peculiar one
even in countries where elephantiasis is
az its worst, Tor the disease has attacked
her nose and has enlarged it TO such an
extent that the barge Office carpenter
was called up to measure Il. He found
it to be * inches long
in the last two years New London
{Ctl lobstermen have baGged in their
deep water traps in Fishers Isl
and Sound not less than five or six in.
digo Holsters, which are 50 rare that il
is not known that more than two OF the
kind had ever been taken in the world
before. In the same time two blue
Holsters were caught by Maine fisher
men. Blue Holsters are as blue as the
summer sky, and extremely beautiful.
Grant Allen, in his suggestive arti-
Gle entitled Democracy and Dia-
monds. in the Contemporary. remarks:
A diamond viewed as an aesthetic ob-
feet is distinctly vulgar; It belongs to
the same category as cut-glasS lusteT
chandeliers, the ormolu drawing room
mirror. Louis Gunige tinsel, and spangla
and gaudy gew-gaws in general No
body would endure diamonds If they
were not so costly; nobody VII endure
them when they are paste and pinch
beck. It is the knowledge that they
mean so much money expended which
renders them fashionable and endura-
bic at all
A queer marine monster has been
captured of the Jersey coast It was
about five feet long. and in shape some
what resembled a toadfsh. Two rows
OF teeth adorned its ponderous jaws,
which, when fully ajar, would admit