The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1891-05-29

"Jes' So"
"Do you see them beans, old inan?''
and he pinted to plate before him.
"Do you see emp
II do. They are a cheerful fruit when
used tenpTitly."
"Weil," said he, 81 hain't eat any
thing since last week. l eat beans now
because l eat beans then. never mix
my vittles!'
ITS quite proper you should eat lit
tie suthin once in while" said. "It's
good idee to occasionally instruct the
stummick that it mustn't depend excloo-
sively on Ticker for its sustainance."
"A blessin',' he cried; "a blessin' onto
the he'd of the man what invented beans.
a blessin onto his hed"
(which his name is gibson! He's q
first family of Dostin," said l.
This is specimen of how things was
goin in my place of residence.
A few We're true blue. The school
master was among EN-. He greeted me
warmly. He said was we1kim to those
shores. He said had lnassiv mind.
1t was gratifyin' he said, to see that
great intelleck stalkin' in their midst
onct more. have before had occasion
to notice this schoolmaster. He is evil
IDENTITY young man of far more than
ord'nary talents.
The schoolmaster proposed we should
git up mass meetin'. The meetin' was
largely attended. We held it in the
open air round roarin' bonfire.
-. Il
He's pretty good on the speak. He also
writes WELL his composition bein' seldom
marred by ingrammaticisms. He said
this inactivity surprised him. What
do you expect will come of this kind of
doin's? Mill ft"-
"Hooray for Nihilr' interrupted.
"Fellow-citzens, let's Civ three cheers
for Nihil, the man who ftr
The schoolmaster turned a little red,
but repeatedly "NihU it,"
Exactly" | said. "Nihil fit. He
wasn't strategy feller."
"Our venerable friend" said the
schoolmaster smiling pleasantly isn't
posted in Virgil
No, l don't know him. But if he's 1,
able-bodied man he must stand his little
draft"
The schoolmaster wound up in elo-
quent style, and the subscriber took the
stand.
said the crisis had not only cum it.
self, but it had brought all its relations.
1t has cum, l said with evident inten-
ton of maxim us a good long visit. It's
goin' to take off its things and stop with
US. My wife says so too. This is a
good war. For those who like this war,
it's just such kind of war as they like.
III bet ye. My wife says so too. If the
Federal army succeeds in takin' Wash
ington, and they seem to be advancin'
that way pretty often, shall say it is
strategy, and Washington will be safe.
And that noble banner. as it were
that banner, as it were-will be
emblem, or rather, l should say,
that noble banner-as IL acere. My w1fe
says 80 too. i got little mixed up
here, but they didn't notice it. Keep
mum.] Feller citizens, it will be D
proud day for this Republic when Wash.
ington is safe. My wife says so too.
The editor of the Bugle- Hor7, of Lib.
erty here arose and said: II do not wish
to interrupt the gentleman, but a i'm.
portant despatch has just bin received
at the telegraph Office here. will read
1t. 1t is as follows: Gor'ment is abou,
to take rigorous measures to put do,cn
the rebellion! Loud applause
That, said l, is cheering. That's sooth-
ing. And Washington will be safe.
[Sensation.] Philadelphia is safe. Gen.
PATTEIsoN's in Philadelphia. But my
heart bleeds particly for Washington.
My wife says so too.
There's money enough. No trouble
about money. They've got lot of first
class bank-note engravers at Washing
ton (Which place, 1 regret to say, is by
no means safe) who turn out two or three
cords of money day--good money, too
Goes well. These bank-note engravers
made good wages. l expect they lay up
property. They are full of Union senti-
ment. There is considerable Union sem
timent in Virginny, more especially
among the honest farmers of the Shen-
andoah valley. My wife says so too.
Then it isn't money we want. But we
do want men, and we must have them.
We must carry whirlwind of fire
among the foe. We must crush the I'M
grateful rebels who are poundin' the
Goddess Of Liberty over the head with
slung and stabbin' her with stolen
knives! We must lick 'em quick We
must introduce large number of first
class funerals among the people of the
South. Betsy says so too.
This war haint been too well man.
aged. We all know that. What then?
We are all in the same boat-if the boat
goes down, we go down with her. Hence
we must all fight. 1t ain'tno use to talk
now about who caused the war. That's
played out. The war is upon us-upon
us all-and we must all fight. We can't
treason" the matter with the foe.
When, in the broad glare of the noon
day sun, speckled jackass boldly and
maliciously kicks over peanut-stand do
we treason" with him? 1 guess not.
And why reason" with those other
Southern neonle uho are trvjpp IN lYicly