Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-31
PITH AND POINT.
Horse cents-Cab-fare.
"Sandy soil"- Scotlaud's.
Run to earth-Elcctric wires.

"Sandy soil"-Scotland's
Run to earth-Electric wires.
winning way-The coal dealers.
defective uttcrance -"I've done
wrong"
The daily paper is not happy, though
its "Wants' are few.
eve meet but to part" rs the comb
said to the brush. -Harca,d Lamapoom.
charge We, travellers, though little charge,
Come i'll mine inn, mine Income to enlarge.
Judge.
Pessimism is a sort of intellectual in
digestion; at least it comes from things
that don't agree with us.-Puctt.
When lawyer pays court to his aspi-
rations there is strong suggestion of
judicial bribery. Courier.
Some men arc like hotel towels; they
have only to absorb n small amount of
moisture to be made uselcss.-Puck.
"An eye for al eye quoted the pa
tient who was having glass eye sub
stituted for blind one.-Jemelers'
Circular.
If we all had the gift to see ourselves
rs others see us very few OF lis would be
persuaded to act as grand marshal in Il
holiday paradc.-NeD York Recorder.
''My good names gone, tits lostw Fred cried
How did you lose it," queriei Bella;
'"Tls gone forever, ne replied,
"'Twas carved on my new silk umbrella"
-Ne,u Fori; Press.
A Natural Inquiry: Wagg--'What
are you doing now?" Wooden-"Oh,
I'm living by brain work" Wagg-"I
want to know! ?"-B9ston
Courier
"This is magnificent place, sir.
Why, ten years ago I came here with
nothing but the clothes on my back. {"
"And now2" 1--WE got another skirt. 4"
-Bdzar.
SIN practicing the banjo" writes
teacher, ''don't get discouraged. That's
wise. You can safely leave that for the
persons who have to listen to you.-Ne,O
YORK. Recorder.
a Different Set: "You mustn't asso-
ciatc with chickens" said Mother Duck
10 her Ducklings. "Why not, mammal"
because they are not in the swim. -
brooklyn Lie.
Bowles-"I must introduce you to
Pearl Jineieby; you'll find her
charming" kaowlcs-sI know her
mother. don't like mother of Pearl"
-Je'rcters' Cirrular.
Biggens-''Did you know that Mr..
Bituminous is dead'" Diggens-"No;
he must have died suddenly. What
. killed him?" Bggens--"He heard that
in Chill dealers got S55 ton for coal"
-l'insbuyy DisDatci.
The power OF the press is nowhere
more clearly demonstrated than when Il
Journalist at the altar by the side of his
bride draws out his notebook so rs to
take down in shorthand the words of the
clergyman. flieqeade Blaetter.
Teacher" Willie, suppose YOU have
five marbles. Sammy, there says: Il
will give YOU seven more How many
will you have then, altogether Willie
-"Just five, ma'am. He'd only be Il
coddin. You don't know him as well
do. Chicago Tribune.
"IIary,' said the lady of the house
rs the cuok WIS leaving, 81 think you
are treating me shameiully, leaving with
out days notice." Indeed, I'm
sorry, mum, an il reference will be OF
any use to YOU, mum, I'll give you one
cheeriully. "-Neao York Recorder.
'Wit take a little smack with men
They loitered by the salfui sea
Then dropped her lashes modestiy,
And mildly. meeSly blushin',
She said: Il VIII par ticpate
IN sucn diversions as you state,
II you the same will designate
A labial conclusion"
-Soston Courier.
eyes said the scientist, as he took q
drink of water from the glass that rested
on the table at his elbow, 'the tem-
perature of the moon is something over
100 degrees below zero the year round {"
A local coal dealer who sat in the audi
ence heaved deep sigh and and thought
SO hard for the next half hour that his
hair actually curied up tight to his head.
-Pec5's Sun.
My poor man," inquired the kind
hearted gentleman who was visiting the
prison. . do you mind telling me what
brought you here 7" mo, sir" an
swered the short haired man in cell No.
676, sit was whisky" 81 thought
So" Yes" said the prisoner, with q
nesvy sigh, eff hadn't been drunk,
you bet your life they nevc-'d a-kctched
me. '-Chicago Tribune
.rhere's young doctor up town who
will have to improve his methods or he
will never have patients enough to main
tain MIN. a woman came in to see him
only two days ago, looking haggard and
pale. "Well." nc said, what is it,"
I'm troubled with insomnia" sne
signed. "What shall do for it,"
"Sicep it off, madam sleep it off," nc
advised curly, and asked her for 81
Detroit Free Press.