St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-25
ODDS AND ENDS.

There is something positively appalling
about the nervousness of American women
Nine women out of every ten are totally I'M
able to rest for five minutes at time They
fidget about in their chairs. II they happen
to sit in that distinctvely American abomi
nation, a rocking chair, they sway back sand
forth in time to what they are telling
They finger their rings, or tap with their
fingers or feet till one is driven distracted.
+++-
saw girl in the waiting room of large
dry goods house the other day. before whom
my soul bowed in abject alteration. She sat
in rocking chair. but she didn't rock Her
hands laid in her lap, and for fifteen minutes
she sat absolutely motionless 1t was balm
to a soul weary of fidgeting women. Her
whole attitude was one of ease and quiet. Her
head rested easily against the back of the
chair. with her face turned away from me.
Ieould not see the face. felt that here was
the ideal woman. walked around and stole
up to have a look at the only woman had
seen in weeks who could keep absolutely
quiet in voice and body for quarter Of an
hour. She was asleep.
IS
One of the youngest lawyers In st. Paul,
who is renowned for his blonde loneliness
and his artistic ability, has just returned
from a trip to Chicago. He kept his eyes
very wide open while he was away, and has
collected some very valuable information
about Chicago women. He says the average
Chicago woman is great deal taller than the
average Minnesota woman. He says China
men handle their feet admirably, and can
pick their way dry shod through a puddle in
which a Chicago woman would drown from
chplr pInm
says that the Chicago woman is padded and
laced outrageously. ana that in consequence
she carries her arms in the air like the wings
of a plucked chicken. He says she goes along
with a sWagger, and walks all over the street.
he says she always gets SCOT on her face
when she goes down town. This is true
story. and goes to prove how much one man
can see if he just keeps his eyes open.
1t =
Matinees have come to be recognized by
the theatrical people as a necessary evil. and
matinee audiences are peculiar. They are
made up almost entirely of women-women
in their very newest clothes, with vastly
critical eyes, taking in every other woman,
and girls in couples, with boxes of bon-bons.
There are always few dozen children, and
one or two babies who weep cOpfously just at
the most affecting part of the play. You
couldn hire a baby to cry during an Amazon
march, but when it comes to very thrilling
and quiet scene he just does let himself loose
The very callowest of boys always go to the
matinees and sit.in ecstasy in the front row.
The firtations that go on at the matinees are
simply innumerable. That's what the dear
things go for, and dear knows it's harmless
enough.
-
But matinee audiences won't applaud.
There are no noisy gods to start it, and no
woman wants to ruin her new gloves by
pounding her hands together. The house is
cold, and the actors never enjoy it. l stood
in the wings the other day and talked to
young Arthur Byron about the audience.
They never warm up to applause at mat
inees" he said. Il always watch the women.
ana no matter how still the house is 1 always
know the women are laughing when they
begin to move. A woman can't laugh and
sit perfectly still. She leans forward or sways
to one side" Which was news to me, but
when 1 came to notice the house, l found it
was true.
~
1 shall be happy when 1 find out why
butchers always fancy pink-faced bulldogs.
Why barber shops always contain pink
newspapers.
Why so many women who aren't at all I'M
happy look so utterly and hopelessly
wretched and ill-tempered when they forget
any ones looking at them.
Why people always dress in their most I'M
usual clothes to sit for photograph they
want their friends to think like them.
Why people will persist in sending the
society editor items written on both sides of
the paper.
Why red-haired women and faded blondes
will wear sky blue.
Why a man always tells his last sweetheart
that she is the only women he ever really
loved-that he simply fancied he loved the
others.
Why-but there am afraid it will be long
time before l am really happy if wait to find
out all the why's 1 want to know.
II
1t was remarked by state Official at the
capitol yesterday that the aggregate crop has
been treated in terms of hyperbole when il is
sent throughout the country that it will ap
proximate 100000 bushels Said he:
From the best information at our com
mand there are 100000 acres of wheat in
this state and the two Dakotas. Now, multi
ply that by twenty bushels to the acre and
you have pretty good idea OF the aggregate.
Twenty bushels to the acre is surely big
yield. and it is all that will be realized in the
territory covered. Then there should be
allowances made for mishaps such as frosts,
hail storms. and the like. But it is a great
crop, and will greatly exceed anything in the
history of the country"