The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-09-05
LITTLE JoHNNY's OBSERVATIONS.
Strong Language in Condemnation OF
ErrOr-Mr. Cripple and the Negro.

Strong Language in Condemnation OF
Error-Mr. Cripple and the Negro.
San Francisco Examiner.
Yesterdy to breakfast my father he sed,
"Edard," and Uncle Ned he sed wot did
my father want. Then he sed other time,
my father did, "Edard, have you see that
piece in the paper about them two little
boys wich was pounded with car hook?"
Uncle Ned he sed, "Yes l have saw it,
an think the gum dashed squid which
hittem OF to be made dogs meat of and
give to the poor"
Wen Uncle Ned said so my mother, witch
was porin out the cofy, she set the cofy
pot down, and luked up out of her eyes,
and puckered her mowth up like wistlin,
an said, "Good landl''
An Missy, witch is my sister, she looked
sprised too, an sed, ivy, Unclel"
But Mary, that's the housemaid, she
dident say nothing at all, Jest grind like
iddiot, an was freckled same as leperds.
If was wimen foxes / rather be oyster,
witch doesent never say nothing at all and
isent freckeld.
Wen my mother she had said good land,
and Missy she had wy uncled. my father
he spoke up and sed, "Edard, you have
genly got pretty near as much sense rs
moody cow, but l CESS from that remark
this is one of yure off days. You have got
a lucid intervle, and are a shown you're
self in yure tru culers, jest as God made
you, fore you was took hold of by the
school master. Wot | was a going to say
about them little fellers witch was hit with
car huke is that the dam monerk of the
forest wich done it OF TO be tore up into
tom cats and beer bottled to fiuf in all the
waste places of the seven teen CONT
nentsl"
Tom cats is tightly, but the little ones is
kitten, an is called pussy TO distingsh il
from the lions welp wich is a squob.
Lions rore like distant thunder and eco
ansers wherel
One time Mister Cripple, witch has ben in
Africy, him and a natif niger was trvelin
thru a deZert and had got separated and
Mister Cripple he herd a hon. Pretty soon
the natif niger he cum a running with
his arms cross his belly. like he had ct
green apples, and Mister Gipple, witch was
dlighted for to see him agin, he hollerd
Hello, Sam, line nifty glad yure oil right,
coz jest now herd the thunder of lion
out that way"
Sam he smiled like he was real sick an
cudent thro it up, and he sed, Eyes, sir. an
got some of the lightnin.''
Then the natif niger he laid down his
insldes lik a Teller lays down a arm full of
stove wood, and singled down long side
OF them an died, cos the lion it had fetched
him one.
But my sisters yung man he saws Decon
Fitch, wlch is the wicked news paper man.
Swears and every thing, he can kick a bntio
bull In the stumk OF its belly with both
teets TO once, an that's wy / say man is the
king of beasts.
Once there was tagger witch was sho.
the tagger was, and 1t was in offie fern
cage, all there was a notice hangin on the
cage. and the notice it sed,
Beware! Beware,
Don't ofend the Suyrin of the Jungle. witch
Is NIFTY nj temperd and has got Herculion
strenth for 10 avendge it!''
But Jack Brily he snook a round back of
the sho mans tent at night, after the pfor-
nance, an he herd the sho man saw to the
boy witch has six toes on his feets. EsIf Won
don't stop hoidin that taggers mowth
open and spitin Tobacco JUICE down his
| throte lie keep him shet up mite an dav !"
AND now will tel you a story about
Dockter Bartlett witch rwites wot is in the
bulsttn. once he was sermon preacher
IN lllnoy, but the preechin bizness it got
real bad, an Uncle Ned he says it wasent
coz the corn crop faild, but coz the turnip
and cabbldge crop succeeded. and rottn
egs was plenty too. So Dockter Bartlett he
Dot big lackus RABBIT, an started a sho, an
MADE nice Twin. But one day he was n
TOXIN TO big crowd of foxes at the dore
oil the tent, were pictur of the iackus
ra6it was hangin, an he sed: 'Wock up.
ladies and gents, wock upl Here YOU vii
see the swifiest quodderped wich scovers
the plains, the only one wich was ever cot.
| He IS own cuzzen TO the Vanishin Zehrv
and related by marriage to the Flame To-
Kay, wlch runs so fast the friction of the
atmosfear sets him fire to stonish the
eye OF man and declair the glory of God !
This Teller is the oridginal and only pro-
center OF all the hoss tribe, particler the
Race Hoss. The north wind isnent in il
| with him. and wen ever ne lets ont all tbs
reeIs IN ms legs an says westard no, the
sun SINKS belo his eastern horizon prety
| quick afterward."
linen a little bride up ole man, wich
was bald heded and wore spettacles, he asst
Docser Bartlett wot as the quodderped's