Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1891-09-18
BOOK AGENT AND BULLDOG,

BOOK AGENT AND BULLDOG.
Fierce Was the Fight but Short, and tho
Agent Had the Last Laugh.
The story teller was a book agent, never
theless | enjoyed listening to him as he
reeled off the yarn something after this
STYLE:
Down in Jones county lives a farmer
who used to keep a bulldog for the special
purpose of soaring away book agents and
tramps, who, otherwise he declared,
would poster the life out of his wife and
hired girl
"Tiger was the dogs name and the mans
nature.
"Now if there was any one thing that
Tiger enjoyed it was a live, long legged,
sound lunged book agent, one who could
run and yell. His rather melancholy coun-
tenance would light up the instant he
caught sight of one of these gentle beings
ambling up toward the front door. Then
he would quickly slide in under the front
stoop and calmly await the approach of his
unsuspecting victim.
"When the book agent was within ten
feet of the first step out would spring old
Tiger with a savage growl. The frightened
dHCuu, Will " yell VI UcEIOE, WOulu DOuuu
backward, and start on a bee line for the
garden wall. But before he could take
three bounds old Tiger, with u low, chuck
ling growl of pleasure, would fasten his
sharp teeth in the seat of his trousers and
hang on until the farmer and his two hired
men came with crowbars and grinning
faces, pried his jaws apart and set the cap
tive free.
Gail this 1 learned from one who had re-
Gently been there.
1.-THE CORY tale set my heart in a tumult
of indignation and | determined to teach
that that bulldog a lesson. l procured
three pounds of the strongest cayenne pep
per obtainable, fastened it firmly in the
seat of my trousers-my second best-and
thus loaded walked boldly up to the home
of the cranky farmer and ~carnivorous bull
dog.
"As l swung open the gate l saw old
Tiger dodge in under the front piazza. l
walked boldly on, and when within about
ten feet of the first step with a blood curd-
ling growl old Tiger sprang for me He
was an awful sight, with his wide open
mouth full of cleaning worries, and l
turned and ran for all l was worth. had
not made three jumps before l felt a jerk
and heard a ripping, tearing sound, and
then my ears were greeted with q howl of
pain. then knew that the bulldog had
got his eyes, nose and mouth chuck full
of my second best trousers and cayenne
pepper. A great joy welled up into my
heart as l stopped and watched the ar
imal.
HE howled as though a hundred fends
had lent him their tongues, clawel at his
mouth, rolled over beds of rare flowers,
demolished costly rose bushes, turned
double somersaults' backward and for
ward and practised all kinds Of astound.
ing gymnastical feats. At last one of his
gyrations landed him on the back stoop.
In a moment the swill barrel was tipped
over and the farmers wife and hired girl
were upset in its contents. Great, then,
was the confusion for a few moments.
During this melee I thought it best to de-
camp, and turned and walked happy and
triumphant away. The last glimpse
caught of the dog as l passed over the
brow of the hill found him rolling over a
lot Of clothes that had just been laid out
upon the grass to dry.
"The next day l called again to note re-
suits and to reap my reward.
"The moment l stepped within the yard
I saw the bulldog, with head down and tail
between MS legs, START ike a streak OF
spotted lightning for the barn, whence,
ever and mon, long drawn agonizing
bowls reached my ears.
"When once in the house l was treated
like a king. The farmers wife and hired
girl had not had a chance to talk with q
book agent for six months, and consequent
ly were almost wild with delight to see me.
The old lady bought twenty dollars worth
Of books cash down, the hired girl had me
write in her autograph album, where none
but her dearest friends were allowed to
scribble, and when at last l was compelled
to go thedear old lady gave me her blessing
in a trembling voice and a Bible, while the
hired girl, as she hid her streaming eyes in
the folds of her not overclean apron,
begged me to send her my photograph and
a lock of my auburn hair."-New York
Herald.