Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-10-28

phatic sentence-"Uh-uh! why, man
woodchuck after woodchuckT
This serious adopting of the alb
surd jest was encouraging, and the
visitor went on, as gravely as posi-
BILE: .".Ah! Pretty big cat. Is he
a good fghterP"
"Uh-uh! you've spoke it," said
Tom, warming to his subject at once.
"Why, dear man, there can't no
common cat stan afore him no
more'n nothin' at all; they can't
stan a minnit. Twas only last
summer-'twas the almightiest hot
night ever see in July-that the
cats come; did we hev any cats kill
ed thenP I'm soey if We did, for l
don't mean to make no trouble with
my neighbors, but l can't help it.
Welh man, one night last July, as
| was tellin' We, | woke up bout 2
o'clock, with more'n forty-leven tom
cats a-fghtin' in the yard. They
was a-scratching and a-yowling and
a-tearing and sech noise I never
heered afore or sence. Well, man,
don't we see, l couldn't go to sleep
agin, an my cat was in the room
walking up and down and a thrashin
Of his tail and eyes a shinin' sos,t We
could see to pick slivers outer yer
finger by EN-. An don't we UNDER
stand, man, hysted the winder an
told my cat to scat and he seated.
Yes, sir!"
Here Tom made an impressive
pause, and shifted his tobacco quid,
and then he concluded:
"Uh-uh the next mornin' Sam
and 1 worked till 'leven o'clock a
draggin' dead cats down to the river
and, don't ye understand, man the
fur was ankle deep all over the wardl"
Tom was fond of telling stories to
show his own sagacity and dexterity,
and one of these, which also involved
feline phenomena and fairly puts
Munchausen's famous fox story in
the shade he told me. I had sprain-
ed my ankle day or two before,
and happened to meet Tom, and he,
as was his invariable habit when
man or beast suffered from any all,
promptly suggested an infallible
cure, and this by reciting a bit of
history. 1t should be said that
Mrs. Moore was lady who lived a
a quarter of a mile from the "cuds,'
and had as little to do with them as
might be. The story ran thus;
"Why, man, Mis- Moore, she'd a
sprained ankle once, twas nine years
ago come January, an twas swelled
up as big as saw log an as black
as a stovepipe, don't we understand
an the wust looking ankle that ever
you see An | told her that the
only thing to cure it was a cat skin
took off warm from the cat, dye un.
derstand, an wropped right round
the ankle. An Mis- Moore, SEE, she
Tom, can we git me oneP" Mis-
Moore seq I, yes lean. I've cured
hundreds of lame ankles that way,
and I'll cure your'n.' And I went
to my house and ketched a cat
and whose cat twas I don't know
and l made cut in that cats skin
an l snaked that skin off and that
cat run under the barn, don't we un-
derstand, man, the cat run under
the barn jest as lively as any cat we
ever see p
Didn't the cat squall when you
pulled the skin OFF," / ventured to
ask.
"Uh-uh l reckon she might a
moved little when she got under
the barn." responded Tom, "but
there want no time for no squalling
when l was skinnin', mani What
the cat did under the barn | can't say,
for l don't tell nothing | don't know
about, dye understand. 1t is as l
told ye, I yanked that skin off, and
took it in my hand and run to Mis-
Moore's house, and put that skin on
her ankle, and don't we understand,
man ! / did it so quick that arter
it was on l brushed that skin down
as if it was a cat-now, it is jest as
l am telling We, man u l brushed
that skin down with my hand, uh-