Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-01-01
PITH AND POINT.

Somehow we never notice what
those people have on who come to us In
our STANDARDIZATION Globe.
-He-ssDarling, just want one kiss
She Gndignantly)-"If that's all you
,-.rt Won shan't have tn. Y. Her
aid.
"A millSman who was told that q
drink of pure milk was good Tor sore
throat. innocently asked where he coulo
get it.-Texas Siftlngs.
A poet SAYS that baby is "a new
wave on the ocean of life" 1t strikes
MS that ssa fresh squall' would express
the idea better.-Boston Gazette.
When a big man in little town
moves to larger town he is puttlng
himself in position to learn ms nrs~
bie lesson in humiliation.-Atch
Globe.
-She-ssWill you believe me if 1 say
that am only twenty-nine years oio.
He-s.Why not? Young ladies are sell
dom more than thirty years old. File
gende Blatter.
When man goes upstairs late at
night and sl1ips every other starr In an
endeavor to keep quiet he always seems
to skip the steps that don't creaH.-
Elmira Gazette.
THAT'S good text you suggest
remarked DR.. Prolix to one OF his par.
ishioners; ''I'n make minute OF IL.
ssBet you'll make an hour OF it., was
the whispered reoly.-Richmond DIS
patch. , -
Did His Part - Mother-"At the
party last evening, Johnny, hope you
did your part for the general amuse-
ment.'' Johnny-''Yes, ma'am, L dld
nv part. 1 listened patiently to the
music Yankee Blade.
Style in Observation-Disclosures am
sure. madam, you could look the city
through. and not find handsomer car
riage than this" Mrs. D'Avnoo-''Oh,
it's handsome enough, but it looks too
comfortable to be stylish" - n. Y.
Weekly.
Maria" said Scribbleton, as he
awol1e in the middle of the night, do
| you hear that mouse rafting the paper
| in the waste baskets" Yes; IS there
any thing that you wrote In lt!.
eyes" '.We1l, I'm going to get up and
rescue the mouse. ''-Washington Post.
Mr.. Higgins-'And the founder OF
your family came over with the Con-
oueror? So did mine. They must have
| been friends Miss Davenport-"1es
of course it is possible that my ancestor
NAV have known some of the people in
the steerage, but it does not follow, you
know. ''-Harper's Bazaar.
| Wise In His Generation
"George loves me, loves me madly,"
| The blushing heiress said; >.
| "Oft and again he tells me,
| He worships where I trcad"i !
Her pa, replying grimly,
| This cruel arrow sped
"When you walk upon my real estate,
George worships where you tread!"
N. Y. Sun.
-Wilson-''I despise q hypocrite."
Tomson-''So dol" Now, take Jack
son for example; he's the biggest hypo-
critic on earth. 1 despise that man"
''But you appear to be his best friend"
go, yes; 1 try to appear friendly toward
him. 1t pays better in the end."-
Brooklyn Life.
In Stock.-Stranger (at great mu-
sic-box and orchestrion emporium IL
am dentist, and it has occurred to me
that a music-box or orchestrion would
be a pleasant addition to my parlors, to
amuse my patients, you know, and"
Dealer-'I see. You want something
10 keep the waiting patients interested
and sort O. help-er-drown any noises
in the operating room" Stranger
''That's the idea" Dealer-''Stepr right
this way, sir, to the steam calliope de-
| partment.' News.