The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-16
BRIGHT BITS.

He ION the back porch)-There's a mosquito
on your other arm. Shall remove itY
Shell couldn't allow you to put your arm
around my waist.-NeW York Herald.
HowNow-What have you been doing? You
look a trifle light-headed.
Jagley-S' think might; just been where there
was the greatest lot OF cOrkB you ever saw
Boston Courter-Journdi
YoUSG HOUSEWIFE think we'll have some
cells for the first course. cook
Cook-How much shall get mum?
Young Housewife-O, about three yards will
do, should think--DrdIes Magazine
Mrs. DIX KAY NIGHN-'E is a good title doggie
Mr.. Nighn-Goodl we'll. wish l owned him.
Mrs. Nighn-Why?
Mr. Nighn-I was only thinking OF the pro
verb: The good die young. Puck.
If the years were as long as they are to girl
'Twixt thirty and twenty nine,
A man of sixty would be as old
AS all of Methuselahs line.
Philadelphia Times
Mas. LOSING (after his confession)-So you
lost $50, then How often have | warned Won
against fast horses
Ben Losing-That's the trouble
Mrs Loslng-What's the trouble?
Ben Losing-I took your advice. bet on the
slow ones.-Pttck.
20, HARRY" she whispered 81 love you so
much but really I'm too young to think of get
ting married right away
''Of course you are, darling" he urged, land
that's why I'm so anxious to have it come off
change your mind. y Detroit Free Press.
TIE girl who hasn't yet come out"
her bathing suit begins to trim.
Aud though she's young without doubt,
She'll soon be in the swim.
-Aeto York Press.
CHICAGO MAx-That ticket seller ought to be
discharged. He isn't fie for his position. Why
Sir, the fellow is insulting.
Railroad Official-Eh? Has he insuted you?
Chicago Msn-Huhl should say he had.
asked for ticket to St. Louis and he gave me
one good for only one way just as il he thought
intended to live there.-Net0 York Weekly,
Boy with basket)-Please, mum, give me
some dinner for my poor sick father.
Kind Lady-Look here. I've been giving you
dinner for your sick father for two weeks, and
saw him yesterday in the street, and he is no
more sick than am.
BoY-Yes, mum, he isn't sIcb any more, but
he eats just the same as ever.-IeraS Stftin0s
sNAGGs-How very different things are in
Germany from what they are il the United
States.
Diuwidde-Yes.
Now here it is considered highly praise
worthy for man to try to excel"
Yes; isn't it the same in Germany"
well, this doesn't look like it,"
"What doesn'tf"
"a German counterfeter was arrested re-
Gently for trying to make his mark Pitts
burg Chronicle.
i CAN t understand now SllpWfeCkeQ people
starve to death at sea, - said little Johnny Fix
zletop.
why can't you understand it? There is
nothing for them to eat in the ocean"
There ain't!'
mo"
well. then my teacher is liar He said
there were currents in the ocean. Nobody need
starve when he can eat currents wish had
some now. "-Terds Siftings
Doctor, how am l coming on? Do you think
there is any hopper" said very sick man to Dr.
Blister.
Your chances are the best in the world The
statistics show that one person in ten RECEIVERS,
replied the doctor.
Then there is not much hope for me?"
20, yes, there is. You are the tenth case that
| lhave treated and the other nine are dead, |
| don't see how you can help getting well if the
statistics are to be relied on. "-Terds Siftinqs.
FIRST BoY-See herel Didn't see you run
ming down the street yesterday, with Bill Bounce
| after you. wantin' to lick you?
Second Boy-Y-e-S.
What did you run for?"
II, was only running so as to get him away
| fnpm home, so his mother couldn't see him
| fghtln'; but by the time he was out of sight of
| his house we got in sight of our house; aud
| then, as my mother would see me if | stopped
| TO hit him. went in, GS to be out o. tempta-
/ ton. Good Netrs.