The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-09-11
THE CENSUS DEATH RATE.
An Interesting Letter From a st. Adams
Enumerator to the Census once.

IulOrulHS INC VI Iu6 UNSATISFACTORY VI
your department with my mortality re-
ports, and that it was unreasonable to
suppose that in a district containing
1910 persons there should be but six
deaths during the last five months of the
census year; that according to some
laws of average, hitherto unknown, and
therefore, unheeded, by the good people
of my district, there should have been
10 deaths rather than six during the
period indicated.
81 am sorry that my conscience pre-
vents my reporting to you more deaths
than was actually reported to me, for
inquired in every house and you have al
ready had the result l studied your in
structions very carefully and found
nothing in them to indicate that you eX-
pected 10 deaths in my district in order
to make the census complete. OF course,
had known that the safety of my cOun-
trys Institutions demanded 10 death, 1
might have taken means to obtain them,
for know several good subjects for
pleasant funerals, all of said subjects be-
ing men whose deaths l would have re-
corded with much pleasure.
But pardon me for calling attention
to seemingly inconsistency in your law
of averages as applied even to the differ
ent districts of this town. In Barney F.
Kellys district-No. 10, st. Adams
there We're about 1900 persons and 20
deaths. Now, from your letter, under
stand that you require one dead person
for each ISL live ones, but he returned
one dead for each 95 live ones. Now,
this number being so much in excess of
the average indicated, will it be required
to resurrect enough to bring it down
where it belongs?
'But possibly, if you knew my dis
trict, you would not presume to apply to
it the rule Indicated In the first place,
l have it from good authority that there
is but one place in the world where the
rate Of mortality is as low as in St. Al
bans, and that place is far away in sunny
Italy, but those people being ignorant
and beyond our jurisdiction, we can
hardly expect them to die according to
the rules of the census department
MY district contains a large number
of persons who for pluck, patience and
perseverance are the wonder and admi-
ration of the age. | refer OF course, to
Vermont Democrats, who, you must
know, occasionally grow old, but never
die. There are a few government Office
holders, and you know that dying is not
one of their peculiarities, but had I re-
ceived your instructions previous to the
last election, and if they felt anyway as
did when the returns were coming in,
1 think l might have persuaded some of
the newly appointed ones to die, with
little difficulty.
"There are also a few school teachers,
but presiding as they have so long over
that band of angelic beings whose bright
abodes are in the pleasant homes of st.
Adams, they are not yet prepared to run
the risk Of being compelled to take posi-
tions in the sulphurous beyond the
veil where the reigning spirits have as
little comprehension Of good school
law as the Vermont legislature.
"There are some lawyers to whom if
the angel of death were to appear, with
his sword already drawn, they would
calmly ask for his credentials, and
finally, when their last breath had de-
parted, they would insist upon proof of
their own death.
''There are, too, some physicians of
excellent standing. but their operations
have been confined to Mr.. Kelly's dis
trict, where the death rate is so high,
and, never have taken any of their own
medicine, of course [ have derived no
assistance from this source of seeing
victims.
There are also some merchants, but
they have been so busily engaged in
marking up their goods in anticipation
of the imagined effects of the Mckinley
bill that they haven't died, but they
would probably have done so had they
known it would accommodate anybody,
particularly the census enumerators, who
are very popular.
'There are several clergymen, few
deacons, some stewards, an Episcopal
vestry and couple of Sunday school
superintendent, but, of course, none of
these dare to die.
"There are some editors, called by
some 'uncrowned kings of thought 1t
is an old adage, you know, uneasy lies
the head that wears CROWN but, being
uncrowned, editors generally lie SO ex-
tremely easy that would not feel JUS
titled in reporting them as dead upon
their own testimony alone.
'There are some plumbers, but it
would be great disadvantage to them
to be compelled to depart for that por-
ton of the undiscovered country where,
owing to the intense heat of the climate.
solder ever remains in liquid state.
"As for the rest of the people, can
only say that, if you were ever to visit
my section of this beautiful village, you
would see at once how hard 1t would be
to entice them into any other country
hereafter, no matter how fair its fields,
how blue its skies, how golden its
streets, how happy its inhabitants.
"But 1 am aware that your depart
ment likes condensed official reports;
hence l must hasten to close this one,
only trusting that you will regard this