Telegram-herald., 1891-11-11
PLAYED An EVEN GAME
An "Honest Farmer Fools au
Innocent CITY Chap
IN THE MOST APPROVED FASHION
He sslls "a Anuauatsd Csw for Asv
Mich Heifer IN orosr 10 Gel Evea
With Tie superior Coart
Judge.


about the task Of getting even. Some
time ago u man slaughtered COW
that was just about 10 die from de
ease and sold the beet TO a butcher
The health department got wind oi
II, sent the meat 10 the glue factory
and arrested the man. lie was lined
IN the superior court, and paid rather
than go 10 Jail He went home and
looked over has assets. Among his
chattess was a COW fnil OF years and
farrow. Age and experience had worn
away all the frallties and foibies OF
her youth. The wrinkles upon her
horns that chronieled each year oi her
existence had exhausted theA- allotted
space and her udder was as dry aud
fiabby as a leather apron. III was
evident that the poor old creatures =
days Of usefulness were over. Her
teeth were so worn down that she
could bite of more than she could
chew and far more than she couao IL
gest. There was no possibility OF ial-
tening her for the butchers shamb.es.
Her owner did heap OF thinking
for a couple OF days and then a bril-
liant plan as born In has fertile brain.
one OF bis nelghbors had COW with
a calf about four weeks old and TIE
old man went over TO borrow IL ior
hall a day, telling them that ne
wanted TO try a little experiment
and would return the call IN good
order. The calf was loaded into
wagon and old wrinkle horn TIED 10
the tailboard, and IN this way was
brough,. TO town. A huge placaru
was hung on each side OF her atten-
uated frame, b ar ng the legend NE"
MICH COW for SALE" The old man
paraded the street with his menag-
erie for a couple of hours WAXING
for some sucker to show up ne
halted on the corner OF Canal and
Huron-sts.. and young business man
stopped to view the aggregation ne
knew nothing about cattle, but he
had a baby at home that was 'he
ample OF his eye and he was IN pefpeV
nal torment for fear the darhng
vouncs.er would be made sick by the
milk purchased from day 10 das'
Here was an opportunity 10 remove
all further anxiety; he would ous the
the COW and furnish his own milk. lie
hailed the proprietor
Hay there, old man; what do you
ss1 o. that c0w?
The old man sized up his customer
q minute and then said:
"Wall. / did think I'd sell her Tor
$50, but / dunno as I'd ort TO, ior
all I'm SO hard np."
rs she a good mllker?'
beautiful, beautiful; never saw her
beat
'.Kind?"
The young business man walked
around her, took hold OF her tail, and
thumped her on the ribs and she
showed no resentment at these liber-
ties.
"I'n give you s45 for her."
That's jest like you city fellers.
You grind the poor old farmers. and
the rich is 0roin'richer an the poor
poorer all the time. II aint no wonder
that our farms are mortgaged for
more'n they're wuth. Wall. doygone
Il take her along and give me the
money j can't let you have the cali
though; we're goln' to raise him for
blooded stock"
The COW was delivered at the pur-
chaser's barn. and when he went home
chat night he took bright new tin
pail as large as wash boiler and n
box to he used for a milkstool. Miss
Bridget Hogan, who presided IN the
kitchen, said she dotted on cows and
asked the privilege of milking the new
acquisition. Her employer was only
too glad to get rid OF the job, so
Bridget took the pafi and the box and
retired, while the family sat down TO
supper. When they were about half
through with their meal Bridget came
in looking flushed and angry
"Phwat Kind o. a bluff air We yivin'
me anyway? That .ould baste is as
dh-v as contribution box. olive
pulled the arms OF me aud not a
IN on OF mix did / get but kick
in the jaw
CT guess you've forgot how 10 milk,
P-idget. Come with me and I'll show
Won how TO do it,
The gentleman put on an old coat
and one Of Bridyet's aprons. and went
20 the barn. with the handmakien
tagging al HIS heels. II sat down
On she wrong side and the Old COW
switched her taig with astonishm ent
End thought tears 70 his eyes. While
DriAges smiled in derision. He got a
firm grip on a pair OF the lacteal con
duits and began to squeeze and pinch
with ali his might. The old COW
SWING around in the stall and backed
and charged SO that IL was all the
gentleman could do TO retain his
grfps-
Poor thing. she's nervous being in
strange place and than her ear
being gone nakes her stRi worse. So
20 =. 5000 now
Huh, II I'm any Judge the poor
eritter 'ainf seen calf - her own
these five years. remarked Miss Ho-
With = preceptible sneer.
That's all you krow about il. Her
calf was with her tbs nor ming and
saw il mysasf~
II fsink voa-re fsb. upon No
word. - said bridget
TEse Young business man felt that
his reputation was af stake. so he
srsat on his hands and went AZ 4
again reSpswng 70 get mix or drag
the hifie or her The ola brute stood
tfe ors~1Buesst f5rzvsly for = rnSnatt
anS then 'seT fcrheararee gave waF
There ives 1iehfanr IKE movement
~ 1ET left hind leg sns rnete1rse
-ash ~ IN pal. H-~ torrBezfsr
-hot mo a heap - litfsr sboat Ten
Fes* swa~. ers WHEN ~ wss sfs's 70
yet I'd he lcokeS s7 s-r17S 20 sre
~-te-e he leFf lsIrv~ hef ianae5 re
-<fe sh-s~ke1 rher Rrisvpt hearrs
~er7 s-f9 ftfe hrvTee 80 hs 7eofnf ae
r - hed be~m 1e~-~S a-sS festhersH
IEsf cow " SEX, be essped 80