Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1891-07-11
PITH AND POINT.

The forger frequently gives bank a
bad amc.--Pitts5agg Dispatch.
Jsgson thinks that half a loaf is better
than no vacation. - Boston Herald.
Death is the only power that caa make
some servant girls dust. - Ehaira Gasei,e.
When a man goes down the general
verdict is that he has gone up. - Dallas
Meas
During hot days all draughts will be
duly honored at this Office. Bingham.
Ton Republican.
Hurly--"Hcllo, old man; getting
along well3" Burly (dolefullN -"Yes,
in years. - Yankee Baic.
The man who thinks the boy who lives
next door to him is a good boy has not
yet been found. Teru Sitl6gs.
A man is obliged to die before his will
amounts to anything but that Of a woman
is always in force. Shenandoah Noes.
"Who is the author Of the saying,
There is always room at the top?'"
"Fhe hotel clerk, | believe. "--Bos,on
Gagctte
The diplomat who said that tale.bear-
ers could not occupy high places never
saw monkey go for ooooauut tree. -
--E}mia Gazette
A merchant advertises "good all round
baseballs, This seems foolish Base.
balls that are not all round are not good
at all Mem York Recorder.
Wibble- "Weil, they don't boil hore-
tics in oil nowadays Wabble-"No;
they merely roast them in the religious
papers. - indianapolis Journal
In the spring the young mans fancy
lightly turns to thoughts Of love, but Il
is 10 the summer evenings that he really
strikes his gait. --Eimira GIa,tc
Great Janitor-" Here. young fellor,
no smoking allowed ia this building"
Small but Competent Bog--''I amt
smoking aloud " Bostos Courier
Pride may 20 before destruction, bat
the young father Is going to express his
feelings just the same as II lac didat,
and it's no use to try TO stop him. = Som
ergite Journal
First Dressmaker --''IIave you had
many successes thh seasoul' Second
Dressmaker proudly ooh. dear yes.
One Of my dresses caused a runaway &C.
cident. "-Bost0a Post
"What is a high chmchmanf ask,
some ohe who takes an interest in such
matters. A ehurchman who Is over six
feet tall ought TO answer that deserip-
tion.Me'o Yort Rscorder.
Excuse me, said Gus do jay. ~ was
wrapt in thought" "Your own
thoughtf' asked Miss sharptou. Seer.
tainly." Mere you not afsail Of tax
ing cold"- Washington Pet.
If some Of our good subscribers don't
settle up pretty soon we will have to
send out our night collector with bis
Jimmy A word to the wise should
be sufficient. Prison Mirror.
Hcks-'It's too bad wo arc not
family Of Esquimaux." Mrs. Ilicka-
"How would that benefit usany1p Hicks
Johnny furnishes blubbcr enough for
the whole family - Meio York IfsrdI.
Iicss--"Sce here, waiter, IT'S an hour
since ordered my lun5h, aud it hasn't
e)me yet. ! can't afford 10 SIT here all
day Waiter--"Tnt ~ right, cir.
We aeyer charges no rent Tor our tables,
sir -Lfa,Per's Bazar.
Question for Philologists TO Decide:
Nov, Willie" SAID the Boston boys
new gof7rness, "let me hear you spell
participants. "P-a.r-t-i-c-i-p-a
say, ioias, oughtn't you 70 say rurtici.
trousersp-- Huntington P0,t.
/ "Ose Of the most impressive lessons Of
my childhood was 10 lay by something
for rainy day. exclaimed wet
tramp az he entered wayside cottage
aud threw himself down beside the
kitchen-stove - Bostoa Conrier.
ats rather humiliating for a man 70
realize how be can pass unnoiiced Ia
throng.p 'I'll tell you Whist to do,
said mis- friend in comforting toac,
''iust you follow the crowd into tho.
atre without buying ticket. - waiting
ian Port.
A foreign matchmaker has invented
device which makes the word 'wind
appear on the face Of clock an hour be-
fore il runs down. I. will probably serve
its purpose unless Il happens 70 forget IL,
which is not At all impfobable.--.Nee
York Recordsr
II am truly sorry, Johnny said tho
friend Of the family, meeting the little
boy on the street, ''to learn that your
fathers house was burned down yester-
day. Was nothing sayedin ''Don't you
waste 10 grief on me" replied Johnny.
Gan Of paws old clothes were burned
up IN that fire, and NAV can't make any
Of EN- over for me this time. I'm all
right. "-Tr0y Press