The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1891-02-13

Not Surprised.
Kitty-"Had you heard that Mr.. Graham
| was drowned this morning, AliceW
| Alice (whose thoughts are elsewhere) -"1s
that SO? But I'm not surprised he looked
very pale yesterday"
| DANA's ABSOLUTELY CURES DISEASE !"
| Anything for Improvement.
! Mr.. Newritch had been having plans for q
| new residence. IF you don't like this chin.
| ney here, Mr.. Newritch, we can have 1t elm
| mated" said the architect.
''Well'" said Mr.. Newritch, "they look real
| han'some as they are, but II 'limiRatin' 'em
will make 'em han'somer, let's have 'em
| Eliminated"
Edtor-Here's fellow sends me story
| called "a Sermon on the Mount" 1t begins
"Blessed are the mercifu for they shall OBJ
tain mercy" Stole the whole thing from
Shakespeare.
Eoremau.It sounds more Ike Talmadge.
Editor-Well. he stole that too. I'll write
| an editorial and show him up.
A Neuter Gender.
Mrs. De Sour (angrily)-I want you to
keep your dog out OF my house, Mrs. De
Mrs. De smart-Mercy on me, Fido
again. It's full Of fieas.-I New YORK Week
Kemp's Balsam Did IT.
a severe cold; ordinary cough remedies would
not help me. gave up my business "a grocer,
my medical adviser told me to take kemp's
Balsam, the great lung medicine. took several
bottles 1t cured me aud without DOUBT saved
my life. l grew strO- ger and went to work
Again !; 40 al my ends
Kibbe. FOR reference: First National Bank,
Homer, N. Y. d26ws4w
A Woman's Reason.
Laura-I wonder why Booth isn't with Bar.
ret this seasoB?
Jean Why, don't you know that Booth is
oiv all IA m n
ton Army OF his, and to his plan for helping |
the London poor? Why don't you read the |
papers ar?-[Pit;sburg Bulletin.
Raising His Salary.
''Sir," said the young man to his employer,
81 thought l might take the liberty of re-
mindng you that you promised to raise my
salary this week."
"Certainly. I've got two collectors out now,
and am just going over to the bank to try and
get my note discounted. Just keep calm, and
III raise il somehow if l have any sort OF
luck.'
Not q Sandwich.
"Gimme kham sandwich shouted the
guest at the dime lunch counter Two seconds
later he complained to the attendant. THAT
was the worst sandwich l ever had. No
more taste than sawdust, and not big enough
to see."
you've ct yer check" returned the attend
ant, coutemptuousy; this here's yer ham
san'wich."
.sWhat!, said the judge. "You here again?
"Yes. your hsnOr. When l think Of how
sind the prison officials are and how cold the
world is, l come to the conclusion that II
don't pay to be honest."-l Munsey's Weekly.
A solicitous daughter. Old gentleman lat
head of stairs): "Sally, amt it time TO 90 to
bed?, Sally. "Yes, father dear, don't put
1t oil another minute: your health, you know
is not robust."-[Life.
Rector's wife. "You ought to avoid even
the appearance of evil. Do you. yourself,
think the girls who lance are right Belle
of the parish. "They must be. know the
girls who don't dance are always left."-
Life.
On the Safe Side. Elder Greene-Parson
notice that you always look at the end of a
chapter before you begin to read the lesson.
Sharpe-Force Of habit. It's nom
sense, of course .abut l always expect to close
with, Try somebody's Pleasant Purgative
Pellets !"- Munsey's Weekly.
"Why did you leave your last placer" 9Th
mlssus she threied T. chate me-" How
Il bruk little blue vase phwat she called a
Bit av Severes, am phin Oh said Ord replace
ut, she said twud corst Inc $40. vi cud NV
GOT biggar wan wild flowers ON ut for fifty
Harpers Bazar.
His Symptoms.
People who go to apothecarles to have their
diseases prescribed for occasionally get very
strange diagnoses. In one case man, wear.
Ing a long countenaDce, Is said TO have enter
I'd an xpottecary's shop and remarked:
81 seem to have something queer in my
and l want you to give me some
Thing Tor IT,
''What are your symptoms" the apothe-
cary asked.
Every little while something seems to rise
up, then settles back again, and by and by II
rises up again.
The apothecary put his chin In the palm OF
lis hand and meaitated while.
"Leok here." he said gravely. "fou
haven't gone and swallowed an elevator, have
Exchange. r