The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1891-01-10
THE GRAVES SECRETS.

had loved her so madly! Why doe
one love? How odd that from a certain
moment one sees in the world but one
being, in the heart but one desire, OF
the lips but one name, a name which
rises incessantly, which rises from the
depths of the soul like water from it
source, which rises to the lips, and whicl
one says. which one repeats, which one
murmurs continually everywhere like /
prayer.
| viii tell you our story. Love has
but one, always the same. | had met
and loved her That is all And has
lived for a year in her tenderness, in he1
arms, in her caresses, in her looEs, il
her robes. in her words, enwrapped
bound. imprisoned in everything, that
did not know whether was dead OF
alive on the old earth or somewhere
else
And then she died How? do moi
know; at least no longer know.
She came home wet one rainy night
and the next day she was coughing She
coughed for week and then took to her
bed.
What happened? | no longer know
Doctors came, wrote, went away
They brought remedies; woman made
her drink them Her hands were hot
her forehead burning and damp, her lool,
glittering and sad. spoke to her: she
answered me- What did we say to each
other? | no longer know. have for
gotten everything, everything, every.
thing! She died. remember very well
her little sigh-her little sigh so weak
the last. The nurse said, "Ahw un,
derstood understood.
knew nothing more, nothing. saw
a priest who uttered these words: Your
sweetheart" 1t seemed to me he insult
ed her. She being dead no one had
any right to know that. | dismissed
him. Another came who was very good.
very gentle wept when he spoke to
me of her.
They consulted me about thousand
things in connection with the funeral
know no more. Still, remember very
well the coffin, the noise of the hammer
when they nailed her in it. Ahl my
God.
She was buried Buried! Shel In
that hole! A few persons had come
friends. | went away. | ran. A long
time walked the streets. Then | went
home. The next day | started on a
journey
Yesterday | returned to Paris.
When | saw my room again, our
room, our bed, our furniture, this whole
house, in which was left all that remains
of being after its death. was seized
that came near opening the window
and throwing myself into the street.
Unable longer to live in the midst of
these things, of these walls which had
contained her, sheltered her and which
must keep in their imperceptible assures
and of her breath, took my hat to so
away Suddenly, just before reaching
the door, passed by the large mirror in
the vestibule, which she had placed there
in order to view herself from head to
foot every day as she went out, to see if
her entire toilet was correct and pretty
from her boots to her hair
And stopped short in front of this
mirror which had so often reflected her
So often, so often, that it must have pre-
served her image
There | stood, erect, quivering, with
eyes fixed on the glass, on the fiat
profound empty glass, which had con
tanned her entirely, possessed her as |, as
my passionate look had possessed her. 1t
seemed to me that loved this glass
touched it; ii was cold Oh, the mem
ory! the menoryl Mournful mirror,
burning mirror. living mirror, horrible
mirror which causes one to suffer all
the tortures! Happy the man whose
heart, like a glass across which refec-
tions glide and disappear, iorgets all
that it has contained, all that has passed
before it. all that has contemplated and
admired itself in its affection, in its love!
How suffered
l went out, and IN spite OF myself,
without knowing it, without wishing it,
| went toward the cemetery. found
her very simple tombstone, marble
cross with these few words upon it, "She
loved, was loved and died"
She was there. beneath, decaying!
How horriblel sobbed my forehead
on the ground.
There remained long time, a very
long time Then | perceived that the
night was coming on. Then strange,
mad desire, the desire of desperate
lover, seized me. | wished to pass the
night beside her, last night, In weep
ing over her grave. But | should be
seen and driven away.
What was / to do? | resorted to