davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1891-06-05

The following will, though not espe-
cially curious in itself, throws a curious
light on the streets of London in the
Seventeenth century. John Cooke,
among other requests, left one pound
sterling "for the maintenance OF a lam
tern and candle-to be eight in the
pound at the least-to be kept and
hanged out at the corner of st. Michael's
lane, next Thames street, from Michael
mas Day to Lady Day, between the hours
of o and 10 o'clock Mt night until the
hours of 4 or . in the morning, for af-
fording light TO passengers going through
Thames street or St Michaels me-
All the Year Round.
, 1891-06-05

The most famous opal in history was
that which was worn in a ring by the
Roman senator NOnius, in the day Of
the triumvirate. Its size equaled that
of a medium sized hazel nut. Yet its
beauty and brilliancy rendered it a mar
vel among the dilettanti of Rome, es-
pecially when it was known that the
goldsmiths and money changers" had
set its value at 81 ,OOO, OOO.
Mark Antony made overtures to
Noaius for its purchase, intending, it is
thought, 10 present it to Cleopatra, but
the senator refused to part with it, and
for fear that it would be taken from him
by sheer force sought safety in flight
Here history loses all trace of this ia,
gem, there being no record of its
transfereuce from Nonius to any of his
family.-St Louis Republic.
, 1891-06-05

THE next congress will be a marked
contrast TO the last, ~ SAYS the Omaha Bee
1T will do nothing but wrangle. it will
create no new laws Of value to the couu-
try" And it will not vote away n billion
dollars of the peoples money as did the
last congress, the Bee might have added.
, 1891-06-05

BISHOP S~PALDINa Is of the opinion
that the portion of the Episcopal diocese
west of the continental divide should be
set off into a missionary bishopric and that
subsequently Pueblo should be made a
see city as well as Denver.
, 1891-06-05

TIE Presbytenaps of America have
pronounced against progressive euchre
and baccarat is temporarily under a cloud
in England. Seven-up, we are panied to
observe, Is stII very popular in Cheyenne.
, 1891-06-05

DELAvAN, ILL.,, June THE hired
girl played a star part in a ro-
nance in real life here last week.
Early in the week Thomas ~Burlingame, a
well-to-dO farmer with n wife and several
children, suddenly disappeared with the
attractive domestic who has presided over
the one-sturY part OF Thomas resi-
dence for half a year or more.
The elopement caused a sensation,
as both the risky Thomas and
his charmer are members OF the PresbY-
terrain church. Saturday Thomas re-
turned to the bosom of his family, and, to
use a suggestive figure OF speech. was met
with a club. His father and indignant
wife induced him to go before a Justice
and assign all his property 20 his wife.
Then he was told II his heart still yearued
Tor the wicked pleasure Of the unlawful
companionship Of his new love he was
perfectly free to respond to the yearning
and fly to her side. He still fingers at
home dependent on the mercy of the wife
he deserted for his daily fare, and IT'S
probable that his little romance is con-
cluded.
, 1891-06-05

The following item, clipped from the
Fl. Madison, (lowa,) Democrat, contains
information well worth remembering:
MIR. John Roth, of this city, who met
with an accident a few days ago spraining
and bruising his leg and arm quite severe
", was cured by one so cent bottle of
Chambtrlain's Pain Balm" This RENE
dy Is without an equal for sprains and
household. For sale by A. f. Roedel.
, 1891-06-05

Russell Sage ON the Union Pacific.
NEw York, June 4-Mr. Sage, speak
ing in reference to the statement that the
Union Pacific Railroad company has a
floating debt Of $40, 600. 900, said: 1T is
a lie. unqualified and unmitigated, The
company has less than 1000. 600 of a
floating debt, and even hat was piled up
under the old administration. The trouble
with the old management lay IN the fact
that they built new lines, acquired addi-
tional facilities aud spread themselves out
without taking the precaution to float
new bonds or to market their old ones.
Most of their securities were hyDOthecated
with bankers, and this led to the accumu
lation of interest, which still remains un-
lIquidated. The affairs of the Union Pa
oiic now are different from what they
were, aud without being especially san
guine | say that there is no danger what
ever of the company being forced into the
hands of n receiver. But there is every
reason TO believe that 4 corporation which
can raise $50, 000. 900 a year can rise su-
perior To the tribulations that arc now
said to beset it. Give me as your author
itv that there is neither excuse nor
apology for the story that is being oircu-
lated and which is put out only to scare
people into selling their stocks
, 1891-06-05

There will be an adjourned regular
meeting this (Friday) evening at 5 O'Clock
sharp. By order.
HAIRY BLAZE. Secretary.
, 1891-06-05

Wisdom's Violet Cream will keep the
skin proof against the effects Of sever
weather.
, 1891-06-05

Boys, misses aud children's hats and
caps are to be closed out at Truckey's. He
will not carry them any more.
, 1891-06-05
The Two Brothers

The Dinneen Bros. have a
Grocery Store where they carry
all kinds of Vegetables, Fruits,
Canned Goods. Fresh Butter
and Eggs a speciality. They
want all their friends to give
them a call at their store, 1719
Eddy street, two doors north of
the fire bell,
, 1891-06-05

The pursuit of the Chilian ltata was
not exactly a coup d'etat, but it had the
merit Of getting there just the same.
, 1891-06-05

Visions RnLertine Is the only thing
now used by fashionable women to per-
netuate a beautlful complexion.
, 1891-06-05

Courtesy of Hyo. Archives & Histor
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
"a can-opener."

"Yes. a can-opencr. III you never
heard of n can-opener Ill hise some one
to write You out a history of it. 1t was
invented to open cans"
why. we have two or three in tho
kitchen. Do you mean n an-opener?'
II don't mean windmills or thrash.
ing machines"
you had it in pink paper?"
Yes. ma'am."
ut was the day the man fixed the
gatc?"
"It was"
"Well, 1 saw you drop IL in that wall
pocket, and it is corlsscrew and not a
can-opener."
at is. Ell? Perhaps i don't know n
hitchiug-post from the city hail." no
growled rs he reached for the parcel
and unrolled il. II was corlxscrew.
1t could only be used as corkscrew.
II was made and sold for corkscrew.
Didn't tell your" queried Mrs
Bowser.
Tell me what Told me it was u
corkscrew, and it's can-opener, just
rs l said il wasl"
Its corkscrewr'
Its can-opener"
And rs long rs Mr.. Bowser draws
the breath of life no will stick 10 it,
because he said so in the first place.
Like other husbands Mr.. Bowser Is
greatly worried over tho safety OF his
wallet when around the house. He
has an idea that Mrs. Bowser would
give ten years of her life to get that
wallet in her hands for about two min
utes, and that she lies awake good
share of every night In the year wonder
ing where he hid IL when he went TO
bed. He makes IL religious duty to
conceal IL every night and TO count his
funds the first thing in the morning
One morning, strange ms IL may seem.
he left the house without taking over his
wallet, which no had hidden the night
before under the bureau. He had been
gone about an hour when there was a
great clatter ON the front steps, the
door flew open, and he rushed into the
back parlor and stood before Mrs
Bowser.
She was so upset that she could only
family gasp:
MIR Bowser, is mother dcadP"
Mother dcadr' he yelled in reply,
what do know about your mother?
Mrs Bowser, I've been robbed"
"No"
And in my own house at thatl Some
time during the night some one got out
of bed and stole my walletr
impossible Was it in your coatP"
We'll, no-not exactly. For fear OF
burglars L"
You what?" she asked, rs he hcsita.
ted and looked confused.
He rushed upstairs, and she followed
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

NARS. BOWSER," solemnly be-
ETH gan Mr.. Bowser, rs he came
10y homo to dinner the other
evening, what did say to
you when / left the house this morn
mgr"
You said it looked like rain" she
answered.
Il said it would rain before night.
and IL has. I'm wet To the hide"
That's too bad"
Too badl and whose fault Is Il? NV
mind was occupied with business af-
fairs, and You knew it was, and yet
you saw me walk of without an um-
brella- Mrs. Bowser, I"
Why. you took your umbrella
along" she interrupted
Never"
Of course you did! Don't you re-
me4nber of dropping it at the gate?
You walked right out of the Office and
left it there"
II did, Ell? Why don't You call me n
St-elass idiot and be done with it,
You must have done so. for YOU sure
~ carried taway with you"
That's exactly what he did do. and
he knew he did. but he squirmed out of
- ~ P-ASA th~ W bSN utI Il ililllOn dol
lars TO cent that the front door had
been left wide open all the afternoon
and that n hall thief had carried of
half the stuff downstairs.
Oue morning there was a smell of
gas down cellar, and Mr.. Bowser went
down To see IL he could discover leak.
lie put on an old hat kept for "polxing
around" and when he left the house
he wore it away. II was rusty and
spotted and broken. and it was only
Nhen the boys down town began To
shoot that hat" that he tumbled To
II Then he flew back home with his
eyes hanging out and his face of "A
plum color, and he was no sooner in
side the door than he shouted:
Look Mt it, Mrs. Bowser-look nj
that internal old junli-shop which YOU
deliberately saw me wear away on nv
head and never said word about itr'
Did You wear that hat down town."
Did l! Did IT, he shouted as ne
banged IL on the floor aud jumped on il.
but didn't see you go / was up
stairs when you went Mr.. Bowser.
You arc very abscnt-minded.
II am, eh! It's wonder that don't
forget 10 come home, isn't It! Mrs.
Bowser, IL there Is another house in
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
\ STRANGER IN THE TOWN.

There's Q Teller come to our house.
An guess he's come TO stay.
Cause he took up board and lodgin'
An he doesn't go away;
Seems TO think he has mortgage
On the choicest an the best;
Amt content unless he's gittin'
More attention than the rest.
He's mighty spunky Teller.
An has most q fearful frown,
But his smile Is sweet as 'lasses-
He's q stranger in the town
Twas dark an stormy evenin'.
With the snow upon the ground
And the wind oiowin' shrilly
When this stranger came around;
An II made n big sensation
'Mong the neighbors when they heard
We had taken in u boarder,
An scene like this occurred:
AIRS Jones run 'crost the alley
Jest TO say TO Mrs. Brown;
slave you heard the news, Matildat
There's a stranger in our town.
He's n fat an funny Teller
But his face Is sort o. red.
An his mouths entirely toothless-
Not hair upon his head.
Oh his eyes are bright Us dfmondS
Yet no glasses does he wear,
An his face is free from wrinkles
As his head Is free from hair;
50 the girls from Hopkins Corners,
When they happen TO come down.
Say Hes Jest too mortal charmin'-
Hess the incest chap In town."
Well he's been a boardin' here now
Since the January past
An he's formed a friendship with US
That I'm purity sure'll last
Though he has his faults and failin's
An he never pays n cent
Yet think we'd raise objections
II he packed his kit and went;
Fer we make plaything OF him
He i cutter than a clown
An he's Just the sigsstSsi baby
That has ever come 20 town.
S. @. Lapius. In Ohio Farmer
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
Contentment

II you do not possess all the things
You would like TO have. IL is very Door
policy TO idly wish for them. A woman
- happy just In proportion as She IL
conecnt The sun has way OF chang.
ing tne spots upon which IL shines
Especially IS this true OF our land
where one Is mp to-day aud down To-.
morrow, and vice versa The wisrst
woman is she who trusts in a to.mor.
row. but never looks for H. To sit
down and wish that this might be. that
that would be different does a woman
no good. 10 does her harm In that IL
makes her dissatisfied with herself. un.
pleasant 90 her friends aud makes her
Did beforc her time. Happiness Is not
always increased IN proportion 90 en-
largcd success. This may sound like
an old saw, aud ! think IL Is. but there
Is a world Of wisdom iD many an old
proverb just the same. Contentment il
a wonderful thing 90 cultivate. There
would be fewer premature old women
IN The world n 10 was giveh more OF a
trial and 10 became a more universal
quality in WON auh0od Ladies' Home
Journal
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

in time 10 see him pull the wallet from
under the dresser.
Then you were not robbedr" she
tartly observed.
"N-no-not quite; not this time But
let this toe great moral lesson to You.
Mrs. Bowser-ncver to mcddle with
my Wallet That's something no hus-
band will put mp with"
81 never touched your walletw
"And see that you never do! And
don't talk back, Mrs. Bowscr. You
have had very narrow escape. and
you ought TO be thankful for livery
thankful Some husbands would havo
raised row; but think you under
stand me, and | think the lesson will
not Toe lost on you. M Quad. in n. Y.
World
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

"A certain artist in Berlin has a
sketch book with which he would not
part for any money. The other day
the emperor came 10 tho studio and
asked TO look at the sketches which
had been made in IT, The conversation
turned ON naval warfare, aud the cm-
poror' turning over the shctch-bools 10
find a blank leaf. drew with quicl, and
practiced hand o torpedo boat making
its way through the water
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

the United States as badly managed AZ
ehis I'd like 20 see it,
Bat can you blame me because Won
wore your old hat away" she pro
tested.
That's that's So Shoulder IL or
on me- The papers talk about the
startling number Of divorces. It's a
wonder 90 me there are not five times
as many"
One day Mr. Bowser brought home a
patent corsscrew. which some fakir
had sold him, and Mrs Bowser saw
him drop IL into wall-pocket A week
later, after wandering around the
house for half an hour one evening. he
halted before her and said:
III be hanged II I don't get some
chains and padloclss and see II can't
have things left where put themr'
What is IL now2"
Il brought home a can-opener a few
days ago and left Il on n bracket In the
dining-room. It's gone. Of course
probably given away % some big, lazy
tramp It's wonder We have . thing
left In this house,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

"A certain storckccpcr in Rich.
moud Ind, with some knowledge Of
electricity and considerable ingenuity
ia getting mp window attractions. re-
Gently constructed an electrical Nv
catcher that is unique 10 consists OF a
small induction coil, giving about n
quartcr-iuch spark. with q couple Of
cells Of battery and % series Of fine
wires strung on a board, very much as
in tho musical instrument called the
zither Each alternate wire Is con.
nected 60 terminal Of the coil. and
the sliding regulator so adjusted that
the spark VIII not strike across be.
tween wires until an unluclsy av
alights on one wire, wnen the project.
ing body receives a spark. and The vic.
tim takes header between the wires
and leaves the Geld clear for tho next
conner.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
PATS eLUNOeR.
He Mistook Ono of Uncle Sans Mall Wag-
ons for Circus Cage.

The other day ono OF the cross streets
up town was practically closed while
workmen were busily engaged in paw
ing the crossing. No sign was mn but
every vehicle that came that way was
warned back. Presently gayly paint
ed box on wheels, with driver perched
high up in front came rafting down
the road
"fees can't COON through herc!'
shouted brawny freshman, flourish
ing his arms"
"Ah, go way there. Patsy" called out
the driver good nnturcdly, without
stopping his horses.
"Shtop, till yees; shtop noww Pat
grabbed the horses by the bit and
Jerked them back so vigorously that the
aStonished driver nearly fell off his
scat
Hold on there, now" cried an in
spector running up Mt that moment.
Let that team pass Let GO therel
Don't you see, you blanlSed old fool.
that it's the u. 5. mail?"
Qnite crowd had collected by thi,
time, aud Pat looked around rather fool.
ishly as the wagon drove on.
"Oh, it's the u. Fish mail, is IL? Bedad
i couldn't make out those leathers on
her ] thought II wor show wagonr'
Yes, " said the inspector. its the u.
$. mail. and they could send you to the
Penitentiary for stopping IL on the high.
way"
No said Pat his innocent eyes
opening widely, "sind man 70 Jail fur
fur gist sthoppin' wagon-to ashk
the time o'day? Bcgorrah. now. I'd n
better shtayed in Oirland. maybe.
And Pat settled down 20 his work
again, but shaking his head solcmniy
now and then and wearing a troubled
look N Y. Herald
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
DATES From HISTORY.

CHuI was discovered by Spain in 1918.
RHoDE ISLAND was granted n charter
81 March -, 1914
MAINE was admitted az a state 70 the
union on March 10. l64f
~ 1870, six days after the British
seized the city, a Gre swept OF all tho
west side Of New York city, from
broadway to the river
THE union Gag was first unfurlcd on
the first Of January, 1870. over the camp
at Cambridge. II had thirteen stripes
Of white and red and retained the Eng
lish cross In one corner.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21
THE RESTLESS AMERICAN.
Ho Can Rest Only la the Midst OF Intense
Activity.

III" Gan Rest Only In the Midst OF Intensa
Activity.
Perhaps the American dcceivcs him.
self when he says he wants rcpose:
what he wants is perpetual activity and
change; his peace of mind is postponed
until he can get it in his own way. IL
is in feeling that he is part OF gro with
and not of decay Foreigners are fond
OF writing essays upon American traits
aud characteristics. They touch most
ly ON surface indications. What really
distinguishes the American from ali
others-for all peoples like more or less
To roam, and the English OF all Others
are globc-trotters-is not so much his
rcstlessncss ne his entire accord with
inc spirit of 'go-ahead," the result OF
his absolute breaking with the past.
lie can repose only In the midst OF in
tense activity. lie can sit down quiet.
ly in a town that is growing rapidly;
but II IL stands still. he Is impelicd 10
move his rocking-chair 20 one mora
lively. He wants the world 10 move
and 20 move unencum bercd: and En-.
rope seems % him 10 carry too much
baggage The American is simplv tbo
most modern Of men, one who has
thrown away the impedimenta OF ira
dition. The world never saw such n
spectacle before. so vast territory in
formed with one uniform spirit Of en-
crgy and progress. and people tumbling
into 70 from all the world, eager for the
fair field and free opportunity. The
American delights In g.; in Europe he
misses the swing and "go" OF the new
life. Charles Dudley Warner. in Har.
per's Magazine
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

Astronomers agree upon three no
lions of the earth, the rotation on lis
axis in one day OF twenty. four hours.
the revolution around the sun In one
year Of 1851 days and very slow
gyratory motion Of the poles around tho
outside Of line at right angles 20 the
plane OF the eciipt'c and coincidinc
with the line of axle rotation at It's con.
ter in 25. sos years
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1891-10-21

Young Mushman- Miss Clawa beg
pawdon. but weccntly your mannab.
dontcher know, quite distwcsses me.
Perhaps you are not awaah OF Il. but
YOU have acquiahed chwonic habit Of
stawing at Vacancy. Miss Clara--You
silly boy How can help u without
being nattenii,s 70 yoa2--Bostou
Courier
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-05-21
The Two Best.

The Princeton UNION and Todd
County Arga1s are the two best
papers which make regular weekly
visits to the Lake Revieao sanctum.
They are geographically and me-
chanically neat and editorially bril-
liant, conducted on broad guage
principles. In expressing their
political and personal sentiments
the Aagees is extremely modest and
unpretentious, while Bob Dunn
demonstrates in his UNION that he
is a thorough master of forcible
English. The State has no better
weeklies than the Argus and Union.
= Osaltis Lake Revseac.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-05-21
Erwin Will Defend Milton.

MIR. w. w. Erwin, the some
what noted criminal lawyer of St.
Paul, was in the city Saturday on
business connected with the trial
Of Ed. V. Milton, of Mile Laos
county, for the attempted shooting
of Officer Quinlivan, he having
been retained as counsel for the
accused. It is said that the fight
will be an exceedingly bitter one.
st. Cloud Journal Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-05-21

IngersOll on Shakespeare.

Last week, Col. Robert j. In
gersoll delivered a lecture in ST..
Paul and Minneapolis on Shake
speare. Subjoined are a few
gems from the brilliant agnostic.
We have met to pay tribute to
the greatest genius of the world.
Of all the great minds, Shake
speare left the largest riches and
gave the rarest treasures. It is
hard to estimate what we owe to
genius. Take from the world
what the men and women of gen
Jus have wrought and all the
riches would be empty, all the
picture galleries bare, all art
would lose it's proportion, and all
would be left to hapless chance.
Three centuries ago this monarch
OF the human race was born. He
was not of supernatural orr gin.
No stars wandered from their orbit
at his birth. There was no celes-
tial pyrotechnics. His father and
mother were both English and
both had the cheerful habit of Ev-
ing upon this earth. His cradle
was canopied in no myth or mira
Gle. His parents could neither
read nor write. Brought up in
Avon, there was nothing in his
surroundings to SOW seeds of sub
Unity. Where nature is grand,
man has been small. When ma
ture is so that man can conquer it,
men became great.
Ignorant people are apt to over
rate the value of education. The
children of scholars hold learning
in contempt. Extremes beget
their own limitations, even as
rivers of extreme swiftness create
the obstacles which retard them.
Shakespeare's father was not
much known. He was once re-
ported for non-attendance at
church. That is good as far as it
goes. Richard Byefeld' was the
preacher. I don't blame him for
not caring to hear the glad tidings
Of salvation from a man who be-
5lieved human beings would be
forever damned. 80. So.
Of his mother nothing is known
except her sweet name, Mary
Arden. Women were not much
thought of in those days. They
we're born, married, had children
and died.
That was the end, but I tell you,
no great man ever lived who did
not have a great mother.
Bacon wrote that Glove is ever
a matter of comedy and tragedy;
it worketh mischief like a siren or
a fury" We know that the
author of "Romeo and Juliet"
never wrote that. We know little
OF the extent of Shakespeare's
knowledge. But we know that
Bacon could not write one scene
of ''Hamlet. Is it possible that
Bacon fathered his failures and
abandoned his successes on Shake
speare's doorstep? It is claimed
that Bacon was afraid of the dis
grace attached to the name of
playwright. It is too bad that
the Judge who tainted his judicial
Life by receiving brides could not
have braced up a little and added
the plays to his other sins. Ba-
cons best compares with Shake
speare's common, and Shake
speare's best is above Bacon's best
like a domed temple above a beg
CARS hut.
AS to love, Shakespeare sounded
the depths of that passion as no
one else who ever lived. He said:
ssLove is not love that alters
When it alteration finds"
That is the sublimest declaration
ever evolved by human mind.