The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-12-24

LIES BY LITERARY men.
Given to the World on Story Ieller's
Night at the Aldine
Club.
--------
How Mr.. Gable Served the Union
Cause to Good Adj
vantage.
8 --------
Paul du chaiilu's Onfer of 500 Wives
Dead Penguias-Jnsticc Is
Done in Cairo.

number of well-known American
writer's Of fiction and more than n hundred
clubmen gathered at the Aldine club
Tharsasy evening and enioysd four hours
OF genuine entertainment. says the New
York World. 1t was STORY Ieller1s
Night"
President Frank r.. Stockton occupied
tho chair and introduced the story ~tellers,
who peared at their auditors through dense
volumes Of tobacco smoke that were pune
Tired here and there with glimmerlng in
canaescent lamps. Over all the scene there
looked down from the long walls pictures
of d generations of popular artists, writer's
and actors. It was a merry gathering, and
the occasion was one not soon to be forgot
ten.
Mr.. Cables story had to do with his
army DAYS in 1868 in Alabama. He said
that in some indirect way he felt that ne, a
confederate soldier, had promoted the
nnion cause. for, whereas the union army
struggled two and a half years before he
Joined the ranks. it only struggled eighteen
months after he joined. Then he went on
to tell how, on a very dark and rainy night,
he and d pretty Alabama maiden crossed a
yawning abyss over a one.foot plank, walk
ing two abreast. Mr.. Cable did not state
how this was done. He also said that he
had no breakfast, dinner or supper on that
day. and That when he reached the girls
house, to his dismay she merely said: Pm
ever so much obliged: good night" and
shut the gate.
Paul du Chaillu, according to his own
testimony, was once offered his pick of S53
beautiful African maidens, clad only IN
gaazY atmosphere and blushing vic lently.
Eli declined the offer, explaining. to the
generous king of the tribe that II hs took
one al the rest would be jealous. The king
then offered him the whole $50, whersupon
Mr.. du Chaillu fed back to civilization.
Thomas A.. Janvier said that before he
came down to Jericho and fell among pub
fishers he was a plain, everyday sailor.
Oace he was aboard the schooner Harmony
Home. out Of Falmouth or Falkland.
they had a beautiful slant o southeast
trades, and went south a-humming. For
four days they raced with porpoises. When
they got to Falkland they went ashore and
had some fun with penguins. These birds
stand upright in regular columns, with
about four feet between the ranks. The
sailors used to amuse themselves running
the gauntlet between the columns, and
as they ran the penguins would snap at
them with their long, sharp beaks. Tom
lAd ASail AoVh va SNS bhN S4o
day and the fret two pengIins snapped at
him, but missed hun (as Tom was a fast
r~unner), and their heads came together with
much force. The next two %penguins had
precisely the same experience, and when
Tom cached the end of the line there lay
two long rows Of dead penguins with tract
ured skulls.
There was once a robber in Cairo who
fell from the second story OF a house he
was trying to enter and broke his leg" said
Charles Dudley Warner. "He went to the
cadi and complained. The mans window
The cadi said that was reasonable. and he
summoned the owner of the house. The
owner confessed that the house WAS poorly
built, but claimed that the carpenter vast to
blame and not he. This struck the cadi as
sound logic and he sent for the carpenter.
1.-The charge is, alas, too true" said the
carpenter, but the masonry was at fault
and | couldn't fit a good window" |
$50 the cadi, impressed with the reason
Rbleness of the argument, sent for the
mason. The mason pleaded guilty, but OK
planned that a pretty girl in a blue gown
work, and that his attention had been di-
verified from what he was doing. The cadi
tnereupon demanded that the girl be
brought before him.
1T is true" she said, that / am pretty.
but it's no fault of mine. If my gown at
tracted the mason the dyer should be pun
ished and not L.
"'Quite true, said the cadi, send for the
DYER
1.-THE dyer was brought to the bar and
pleaded guilty. That settled it. TIE cadi
told the robher to take the guilty wretch
to his house and hang him from the door
sill, and the %populace reioiced that Justice
had beed done. Blu pretty soon the crowd
returned to the cadi's house, complaining
that the dyer was too long to be prop erly
hanged from his door sill.
"'Oh WELL said the cadi, who by this
time was suffering with enuni, go find a
short dyer and hang him. Justice shall
prevail"