The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-14
BRI0HT Bits.

IRATE FATHKR-I never gave my father impu-
dence when was boy.
Son-MaYbs your father didn't need it.-Lifs
TEAcHER-with the exception of the auirnals
Noah took with him into the ark, every living
creature persisted in the food.
Doubtful Tommy-The fishes, tooi-Te1ns
SUttn0s.
GREEEE-whom are your children said to
take after, Mr. Enpecki
Enpeak with a mental reservation)-The
younger, with a sweet smile and angelic tenn
per, takes after his mother; the elder. that
cross eyed young viper, takes after me, I'm in
formed.-Once q Week.
DAMsEL docking for compliments)-No, lieu
tanant. I'm not coming TO the hop tomorrow
night, for Capt. yudson tells me there's TO be a
pretty girl from Baltimore, and there will be no
chance for poor me.
Gallant but Experienced Oficer-O! do come
don't like pretty girls.-Life's Calendar.
HE-Then you reject meg
She-Tm sorry, very sorry, but must.
ne desperately Then thare is only one thing
left for me to do, that's all.
She (anxiously(-O. what do you intend to
dor
He-Propose to somebody else.-New York
Press.
TIE girls who take vacations
With an eye TO beach fiirtations,
For nothing spend their time and wear their
summer costumes gay;
The Taidens bright and witty
Stay In the dusty city
And fiirt all summer with the youths who can
not get away.-NeU York Press.
Col. FIzzLEroP was under the painful neces-
sity OF administering severe castigation to his
ron Johnny. After he had completed his labors
he said sternly to the suffering victim:
Now tell me why punished your
That's it, sobbed Johnny; you nearly pound
the life out of me. and now you don't even
know why you did it, ''-Teras Stftin0s.
RIGGs-My wife had queer accident befall
her yesterday. AS sne was walking along the
street a mans hat blew off and struck her In the
eye It cost me s25 for doctors fees
BriEgs-O, that's nothing My wife was
walking along the streets the other day, and as
sac passed a milliner's bonnet in the window
struck her eye and it cost me S5o-Men's Out
litter.
A COUPLE from the humber walks Of life
came before justice of the peace to be mar
ried, when, the ceremony being over, the bride
| began to weep copiously.
whats the mattersp asked the new hus
| band.
II never told you that l don't know how to
cook, sobbed the bride.
| Don't fret III not have anything to cook.
I'm poet "-Terds Siftin0s.
Mr.. WIsKs-I see raising flowers for the man
| ufacture of perfumery has become a new ndus-
| try in Florida.
Mr.. Minks Ia perfumery manufacturer)-
| Flowers,
Mr.. winks-Yes kb0e
Mr.. Mnks~For the manufacture Of perfum-
cry?
Mr.. Winks-Yes
Mr.. Minks-well, wonders will never cease
Good NeDs fiIey
A VOCALIST Of some New York renown was to
sing ct concert in a western city not long ago.
One OF the best of the metropolitan string quar-
tettes had q number or two on the programme
| also. week before the concert the singer
wrote to one Of the quartette, begging that it
would play an Accompaniment TO his songs.
| Incidentally he asked: what instruments are
included in your string quartetteY' This was
the answer:
Dear sir-our string quartette consists of
trombone, French horn, accordion and cymbals.
II will be impossible for us to accompany you
as YOU request as the instruments are scarcely
| fitted for that line of work. Boston Post.