The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-06-19
JOKE AGAINST JOKE.
An Incident of q Dry Goods Merchants
Farewell to tho Road.


the New York Herald, "I had one com
ical experience that shall never forget.
There were several of us travelling
together" he continued. eve had
been skylarking all along the road,
playing off FRANKS on one another and
having pretty good time generally. 1t
was to be my farewell trip and the
boys made dead set ut me for that
reason. After awhile the novelty wore
away and life became burdensome.
II tried to call halt, but it was no
go. One fellow, finding that was an
noyed, persisted in his attempts to put
up games on me, and he succeeded pref
ty we'll.
81 said nothing for awhile, but re-
solved to get even if it took me the bal
ance of my life.
"The boys separated at New Orleans"
added the speaker. ''Some Of them
were booked for Texas, while my prac-
tical-joking friend and continued up
the Mississippi valley. We reached
Memphis early ono morning by the
jackson route. We were driven imme-
diately to the old Peabody house.
81 had stopped there half hundred
times before and had struck up q great
friendship with Wiley, the second
waiter. 1 knew the darby would do
anything in tho world for me. had
matured scheme by which 1 proposed
to rctaliate on my tormcntor.
I'VE were shown to our rooms to fix
UP O little for breakfast, l sent for
Wiley and he came up to my room. I
said to him: Wiley, want you to wait
on me yourself while am here. I'll
tell you the reason. know 1 can rely
on you, and I'll pay you well for your
trouble. 1 am going north with
friend Of mine who has recently gone
insane. He is not violent, but the
doctors say that he ought not to eat too
much.
I want you to follow these instruc-
tions: No matter what he orders at
meals, bring him nothing but toast and
tea He Is 80 crazy that you can easily
convince him that you have brought
him what he called for. If he grows
violent just pat him on the back of the
head; that will bring him around
Wiley said he understood me. gave
him couple of dollars and told him I
would give him more before left.
MY friend and I entered the break
fast-room together. Wiley had in
formed all the walters that he was to
serve crazy man. They eyed us sus-
piciously. My friend thought It very
strange, and asked me if 1 noticed any
thing peculiar about him. I told him
he looked as usual, only that his hair
was little longer than he generally
wore it.
wiley came for the order. called
for soft-boiled eggs, chops and bacon, a
cup of coffee and plate of wheat
cakes.
oh, bring mo the eame,' said nv
companion. Hang it all, he added, I
never know what l want now. If was
home 1 could eat an OK
Wiley caught the remark. It coin
cided with the impression that nv
words had left with him. He left to fill
my order scntly he returned.
bringing me my breakfast nicely cooked
and served, and plate of toast and a
cup OF tea for my friend.
The latter turned to the waiter and
said: 4 guess you've made q mistake
here, my friend. My order was the
same as this gentlemnn's.
Yes, dat's SO, cap'en,' said the
waiter. "Yo' order de same as dc other
gem'men, and I done brought it.
bert is. Der's you' eggs and der's
you chops an bacon, On dcr's you COT
fee. OATS right, cap'en. You break
fast is right afore yo'.'
LAS he spoke the darby pointed out
articles, some real and some imaginary,
with his long, bony fingers
MY friend looked at him in amaze-
n0ant ttIhDf dn 1-n
standing there and telling me thatp
Are you crazy?'
81 done tell yo' exact trufP, cap'en,'
replied the waiter in his most persuasive
manner. 'Yo' brelSfuss is right afore
yo,' same as dat gcm'men's precisely
If you are not crazy yourself, do
you take me to be? Or do you think I'm
blind or drunl1?' replied ray companion
hotly.
Go back this instant, he continued,
and fill my order, or 1 will have you
turned off. Go, say lie spoke with
rising infection, which startled the
waiter and caused every inmate of the
room to glance in wonder at us.
II caught the walters eye and nodded
my head. lie took it for the further in
struction, and began to pat the back of
the gentlcman's head This was too
much for my friend
''lie leapcd to his feet. uttering an
oath and overseeing his chair at the
same time. 'You black rascal he said,
what do you mean by putting your
nasty hands on me? I'll beat you with
in an inch of your life He made a
move for Wiley.
The latter dashed for the kitchen.
Tho other walters huddled in a corner.
NV friOn1 tln,,rbf l,.+for IL.