The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-29
TWAS EVER THUS.
A Would BE Public Benefactor who
Pound That He Was Not Appreciated

A Would Be Public Benefactor who
Pound That He Was Not Appreciated
please give me dime"
Twas seated in the Mall at Central park.
looking at the statue of Robbie" Burns
and thinking thoughts that many man
has thought before about his i'll starred
life, when my Feveries were thus turned
into another channel 1 didn't like it.
"Why should l give you dime" re-
piled sharply, hoping thereby to get rid OF
him
But il didn't have the desired effect. He
wasn't an every day sort OF tramp. although
his apparel was shabby enough. There was
a moldy air of better days about him. He
heaved sigh. and seating himself along
side Of mel couldn't resent that, because
he had just as much right 10 a seat as l
had-he began to unfold his tale.
Il recognize in you" he began, -
kindred spirit /, too, am worshiper ~
the shrine of genius Nothing delights
me SO much as to see the memory Of great
men fittingly honored. Years ago. in Ct
of generous enthusiasm, / conceived a
scheme which, had it been favorahly ~
ceived, would have 6lled this park and all
other parks and public squares in the land
with statutes of mankind's greatest bene-
factors
But pardon me-" be added. interrupting
his narrative, do you happen to have the
mate to that cigar about your"
told aim hadn't.
well, never mind, amt particular;
Pll take chew of tobacco, If you happen
to have It,"
/ told him had none
Another sigh impinged itself upon my
olfactory organs, and then he continued;
Nothing so helps man 10 rise superior
to the petty and soul enthralling concerns
of everyday life as the contemplation and
study of true greatness. To assist In the
attainment Of that lofty state Of mind
there is nothing So effective as the presence
Of the counterfeit presentments of men
who have lowered like sun kissed noun
tain peaks above their fellows. With that
conviction strong upon me / abandoned
the haunts of men and gave myself up TO
thought. In due time the inspiration came
AT the lowest estimate there are 4.0o0. 900
men in this country ~bo get shaved by
BARRIERS on an aver21= three times week
At an absurdly lo.T estimate that involves
an expenditure of thirty cents week by
and over again, amounts to 81 200. 900
week, or S62, 400, 600 year.
Just think of i'll All that money prac-
ticaliy thrown away. | proposed that
these four milliors should form a vast
'antishave' or shave yourself association,
and that she money thus saved should be
put into fund TO purchase statues for
identifying our parks and places Of public
resort. All the reward that | asked was
that should be made the treasurer Of the
fund. Had the scheme been carried out
the artistic beauties of ancient Greece
would be as nothing compared with ours.
but my scheme fell UNDECIDED on the miser-
able horde Of Dasrcsnary, self seeking men
who libel this country by calling them.
selves Americans
That was fifteen years ago. As You
may perceive, if you observe me closely, ]
have not shaved from that day to this /
trieo to be a public benefactor. Society
scornfully rejected ny Offering. There
fore, society owes me living. And that.
sir, is why / venturcd to ask you for
dime"
"Hi. therei get out Of this" harshly ex-
claimed park policeman who had stolen
upon us uHawares "Didn't tell you I'd
give you taste Of me club II / caught you
around here again"
Shades Of Scott and Burns and Shake
speare~ muttered the tramp as be shufled
off. Has II come to this-that your NEST
ardent dsvctee shonlG be the sport and Jest
Of a sparrow copp'-New York Herald.