The Republican., 1891-04-24
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Chiffey-''What's that hear about
young Chcckerstripe?" Chaffey-"IIis
clothes, probably. Harvard Lampoon.
The actor glories in the fact that he
treads the boards; but it nevertheless
makes him very angry to be asked;
'How's the W alking?"-Puck.
DR.. Brush-''Would you advise me
to have my picture hung?" Easel-"No:
solitary confinement ought to be suffi-
cient. N. Y. Sun.
When the average woman hasn't
anything else to do, she always feels as
if she would like to go out and buy
something. g.--Somerville journal.
Nowadays - Master De Wilbee
Richie-''Nurse who was zat lady wiz
de dog, Eat tissed me dus' now?" Nurse
why, dear, that was your mama"'-
Judge.
"A Pertinent Question. - VIII -
''What language are you studying
now?" Phil-''French.' Will-'When
do You intend to take up Erglish?"-
Yankee Blade.
Operate Item. - Mrs. Billsdoo.-
''IIave you ever heard The Chimes
of Normandy?"' Mrs. Bullion.-"No.
have not yet travelled in France. -
Jewellers Circular.
Faint Praise.-"Jennie is quite
pretty young woman, don't you thinll?'
80, yes; she's pretty young yet, but not
so young as she was five years ago. -
Chicago Saturday Herald.
Little Boy lin the menagerie)-
''Say, pa. is that parrot there the wife
of the other parrot?" Little Boys
Father (sadly)-"Yes. my son. Don't
you see how much larger her bill is?''-
Clothicr and Furnisher.
DE Mascus-'I do think Spoles is
great speaker. He's finished orator"
St. Agedorc-'I'm glad of it. Who's
finished him? I've been waiting to do
it myself. st Joseph News.
Miss Physics-"Dear Mr.. Physiol-
ogy, you remind me of a barometer that
is filled with nothing in your upper
story. NJ. Physiology-''You occupy
my upper story. my dear Miss Physics"
Rochester Talisman.
-"Really," said Bangles to his wife,
''that last years dress of yours is very
becoming" Yes, was the reply. 1T
is becoming very shabby aud l wouldn't t
have interrupted you this morning if
hadn't wanted to sec you about al
other. cr."-Washington Post.
At the Modiste's-"Can YOU show
me your spring styles" Very sorry,
but we have not yet received them"
THAT too bad. have to go out of
town, and l should have liked to know
on which side of the flowers hats are TO
be worn this season" - Courier des
Flats mis-.
-Malicious.-"So what do You think.
dear professor, shall my friend and
try writing a comedy togather?" 'Wcll,
am not sure but that would be good
plan, and would work very well then
one OF you could always rub out what
the other had written" - Flicgcnde
Batter
Tho Woman of the Future.-Gus
De Tape-''I have now arrived at a po-
sition where | can confidently ask you
to be my wife" Miss Type Priter-
GLOW much do you get week." Gus
-"Er-my salary has just been raised
to S15." Miss T-"You'rc not in it.
I'm making $50 myself; call around in
about ten years from now."-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Dolly Chatterby-"Such stupid
time as we had at the sewing society
this afternoon. All the girls were mum
as mice-hardly word spoken the
whole blessed time" Mrs. Chatterbv-
is it possible. What's the trouble p"
Dolly-"Well, you see, most of the girls
have joined the Kings Daughters They
have motto you know, Never Speak
III of Anybody or something OF that
sort. It's too ridiculous. ."-Rostonia