Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-09-17
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

New York 'Shall we go the
beach?" Boston-'No; the waves are
too wild for me to associate with. =
Truth.
-'sIsn't this your prayer book, Miss
Chaser?'' ''Why, yes, thank you; it is
How did you know it, Mr.. Blunt?''
''When took it up it opened at the
marriage service"
-Flattery. -Belle-"H said was
handsome Bess (enviously) HE
wouldn't have flattered you, am sure,
if he knew that you didn't like flat
ry."-Yanlxee Blade.
-Stars.-"What do you think OF these
sliding roofs for theaters?" Capital
When the stars on the stage are dull
you can see bright ones overhead
Brooklyn Eagle.
eff your husband stays out so late
every night I should think he would
suffer from loss of sleep" 20, he has
all day to sleep-he is serving on
jury."-N. Y. Press
-Jinks cit costs Waite pretty
steeply for board at his new place,
doesn't it?" Filkins-''Y but nothing
to what it costs him for his aboard.
IN. Y. Herald
-Wife-4'Our little Willie ought to
have white flannel suit to wear at the
seashore, dear" Husband-'Then why
don't you send my old one out and have
it washed?"- and Furnisher.
She rowed with me one moonlight night,
And we are married now.
We row no more; we're altered quite;
Now we pronounce 1t row.
-Somerville journal.
-Papa-'I wonder what will be the
most durable color to paint our house.
Maude-"Red, papa, red every time!'
"Why do you think sop s'Look at old
Soaker's nose! 1t never fades, but
grows redder every year''- Harrisburg
Telegram.
"A Lost Art had a letter from
my son John to-day, Mrs. Briggs. He
is studying to be a civil engineer" 81
am very glad to hear it, Mrs Jones.
wish some of our young men would
study to be civil conductors = Lowell
Citizen.
Warden (of insane asylum) = This
poor woman imagines she is shopping
all the time. Sometimes she sits in 81
lence for whole weeks" Visitor-''What
is she doing then?" Warden-''It is
supposed that she imagines she is wait
ing for the change. Cloak Review.
Miss Guitar-''Are you musician,
Mr.. Phiol?" Mr.. Phiol (who practices
slightly on a violin, in well-populated
district -'I-I am afraid can not pass
on that, Miss Guitar. Opinion seems to
ha 1oI
borhood ''-Colorado Sun.
Their Next Scheme. -Gazzam-''Do
you know what the silver barons pro-
posed to do after they have sold the prod
uct of their mines to the government"
Maddox-''No; what?" Gazzam-''They
will start a balloon line and extract the
silver lining from the clouds. '-Epoch
AT THE TELEPHONE.
How Mr.. Brown Worked Mr.. Smith by
Wire. !
They were bosom friends, but resided
in different cities. Browns home is in :
has telephone connections in his parlor
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. Mr.. Smith,
hears the telephone late at evening.
Hello, hello!"
SIS that you, Smith?"
eyes, is that you BROWNE"
Eyes. how's your health?"
'Well, thanks. How's Mrs Smith?"
every nice, thanks She sends her
:egards to Mrs. Brown
VERY kind, to be sure, Mrs. Brown
desires to be remembered to Mrs Smith,
such good friends you know"
"Anything in particular, BROWNE"
moo, only desired to ask after you
and your family and say good night. -
Every kind and thoughtful, old
friend.''
''Say, by the way, Smith, have you
any ready money!
eyes, want some?''
Perhaps, shall know tomorrow.
Don't forget to give Mrs. Browns re-
ards to Mrs. Smith
"By the way, Brown, how much
oney will you want?"
20, perhaps hundred or two thou
sand.''
Cali right, will see you tomorrow.
Good night
Good night and don't forget Mrs
Browns regards-and see me to-mor-
row."
Brown and Smith meet on the follow
ing day in the streets of Bagdad. Brown
gets loan just in time to make an
assignment Some one says, ''poor
Brown" Some one, "poor Smith,
They are not such firm friends as they