Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1891-01-02
POOR SIMPLE Gow ARD.

! his own with Ine Youngest members OF MS
court.
POOR SIMPLE Gow
The prRaomen of Simon had descended
to him together with four thousand from
his maternal grandfather. At college the
same had naturally been shortened to Sim.
and then, quite as naturally, extended to
Simple. So he was known to his famjiiarS
as Simple Howard.
There was d senior, with a reputation of
wit. who said of him, The people who
maintain that Simple Howard is an idiot
are quiet wrong. He is merely an anach-
| TOnlSm.
1t took three out of the four thousand
| dollars to put Simon through college
This does not happen to be the right
! place to discuss the question of the game
and the candle: it is enough to say that
! when he started out into the world the
young man had cash as,ets to the amount
/ of one thousand. dollars. His parents
were dead, and he had no brothers 7
sisters; nevertheless, he possessed an ample
| stock of reatives-uncles, aunts and cous-
| ins-scattered III various parts of the
! Union.
Simon had enjoyed his college life so
well that he was 10th to leave when the
| course was completed He therefore de-
cided to continue his work for year
| longer. in the belief that t.is would Sc
| cure for him place as tutor. But when
! he talked the matter over with the presi-
| dent he was compelled to change his
! mind
The president said ''Tcan never CON
scienti0usly advise young man, to whom
, anything else in life Is open, to become
! teacher Now, Mr.. Howard, | should i'm
agine you were best suited to some sort of
business pursuit. ! would advise that you
go to any large city, where you have
friends or relatives and secure a place in
some large wholesale house. There you
would have an outlook in life. But what
ever you do, don t teach.
Thank you for the advice" said ST.
mon; Il shall follow it.
A few days later he presented himself at
tae bookkeeping department of the great
firm of Dott & Curry, and asked to see his
Uncle Martin, who presided over one aisle
of desks. He put his case as briefly as
possible for uncle Martin seemed to be
greatly hurried.
DO you know anything about book
keeping? asked the business man.
Nothing al all, replied Simon; 'ifyou
think it adviable, however, | will go to
business college. have still d little mon
ey left -
You haye?" said Uncle Martin; then
| will tell you what you bad better do; go
and study profession medicine for eX-
ample. There your un'. s~Horvey Blood,
see what a good thing he has made out of
it. He claims that his practice yields him
s. 900 a year-net. And here ] am. after
twenty years experience with the best
houses in the city, on a salary of Sl15 a
month! If man has no capital and no
expectation of any, he's a fool to go into
business.
Whose Judgment could be wiser in
such a matter than that of Uncle Martin?
After thanking him, Simon proceeded
to 90 in search of Uncle Harvey. who
lived in a small town at the other end of
the state.
IF he has so much practice" thought
the young man, lit is quite possible that
he may need an assistant. | can study
medicine and earn my living at the same
time.
When be called at his unce's office, a
bright looking young man whom he found
there informed him that the doctor was
out. Simon sat down to wait and the
young man went to a desk and began to
turn over the leaves of medical book.
Are you a physician?' asked Simon.
"Oh no, answered the other; | am DIR.
| Blood assistant in the office, and am
! studying with him"
why, then. you have the place | in
| tended to ask for exclaimed Simon.
Indeed" said the other, with an in
| jured air; well there are several that
Z L. IL I i Ill +t,.,L H.
! doctor needs to have done
! When the doctor came in, Simon ex-
| planned the cause of his visit, but added
! that he had no wish to interfere with ex-
| listing arrangements.
IF you want to study medicine, said
! Uncle Harv> Y. Il would advise you TO go
to a medical college"
II think | will do so. said Simon.
But, " continued the doctor, Il must
| first tell you in all candor that | think you
! will make a great mistake if you study
medicine at all The fact Is the profess
sion Is horribly overcrowded. The medi-
! cal colleges keep on turning out doctors by
/ the thousand. where there is not room for
! them by the hundred. 1t is a noble pro-
/ fession, and all that, but a man is in
! great luck if he can make money enough
in it to pay his lawyers fees in maiprac-
| tice suits. :
| Dear mel exclaimed Simon.
! why. see here. now, said the doctor;
''if you are looking for a profession, why
| don't you study law? That Is the money
ed profession. Men make fortunes in it as
easy as lying"
is that So" said Simon.
There is a friend of mine in the firm
of Mortmain & Tort in the city said the
doctor; Il will give you a letter to him
and be VIII advise you in the matter. | will
tell you in advance that his income is
about SIS, 900 year yet the other fish do
/ not lock upon him as whale by any
| means
! "Whew." said Simon.
! Several davs later when that celebrated
I champion of eyildoers, Mr.. Blackleaf, came
/ to his office he found a amild-cOuntenanced
young man waiting for him with letter
/ in his hand.
| "Ah." he said. when he had read it
/ through: ''vou want to study law, do you
! Well. if you came to me for advice-and
/ don't know what else DR.. Blood could have
sent you for-I can give it in short order.
! Let this profession alone. There Is moth
/ ing IN it. Good day; you see, there are
/ quite q number of people waiting to speak
| to me. Call again some other time, Mr..
- ah-um.
Thank you. +" said Simon.
1t began to be evident TO Simon that the
task of getting started In life was a seri-
! Gus and difficult undertaking. IL was
likely to consume a somewhat longer time
than be had supposed, and he had regret
ted that he had not kept out larger sum
than 81 600 This was already beginning
to disappear, for. having come Of poor but
sxtravagant parents Simon did not IN
/ derstand the art Of economy
Il can see. - said Simon, that 1t Is
quite easy for man to make dangerou
mistake In the choice Of a life pursuit.
Suppose / had undertaken to bf&ome a
teacher, or had tried to get into bas mess
house, or had studied law or medicine
In each case | would have found myself In
line Of work where there was really no
place for me; / would have been IN the po-
sition Of a superhuous man, and might
have starved TO death. | will go slow,
lest fell into other errors similar to those
have escaped.
He then proceeded to go slow-so very
slow, In fact, that number Of months
slipped by and several hundred dollars
were spent, without any results what
ever.