Telegram-herald., 1891-11-04
BILL kYl And BURBANK
They Keep . Large Audience IL
koars Of Laughter
WITH THEIR ININIIiBLE JoLLIry
ihe 1sgsish Jeks that Gees VITA . sisv
Match asa . kseaps ter kssrlag
Gsadiss wives ~ noas
ksesisxs-

About half past seven last night q
line Of people began filing into Hart
mans Hal. and oy eight O'Clock the
hail was full. No less than $500 OF
Grand Rapids best citizens were there
They were tired Of politics and bus<
ness, but who could remsmb ber that he
was tired whoA he was in the pres
ence OF Bnrbank's delightful imper-
sonations anu Aye's ehai ming naivete
IL is doubtful IL Burbank il any hand
somer than when he was here before,
aud Nye's head still vies with mis- pat
-nt feathers In smoothness and bril-
fancy OF appearance; but they were
welcomed nevertheless II they had
been society actress with siK worth
dresses and bad smelling scandal,
they couldn't have received a more
enthusiastic welcome. From the time
that Mr.. Burbank dashed upon the
sage and deelained kedyard Kip
,ing's Ballad OF East and West, until
the dainty Edgar William uipped
forth with mis- diploma and blue
ribbon. everybody laughed and scream
ed unit. the floor OF the hall was ba'A-
4 in more tears than the third chap-
ter OF modern society move.
.Enellshmcn appreciate American
humor." Bll Nye told "A crowded aud
,uee at Hartman Hall last n-Sht,
but you must give them Tine, hs
added. The American iox.st should
20 over 10 England anu make has
rem arks and thea return IN i"o
years he might go back aga-n ana re-
eeivc the overdue applause anu con
eratulatlons from h.s audiences.
Id was thus that Mr.. Nye spoke In
deuailny his recent trip 10 England.
The huMor.st was n his best ven
and kept his audience amused ant
laughing. HIS quaintness oil delivery
marked ly all his old pecuiaraies, was
SO potent a factor in fun making as
tine matter of his remarks Most oi
mis-, Jokes were new. at least IN ap-
pearaDce. Many o: them were az
familiar as Mr.. Nye himself. The audi
ence was not hypercrit.cal, however.
The people had paid Their money TO
laugh, and they betrayed no appreci-
able fastid.ou sGsess as to the recoK-
milton OF friends. old or new.
ST never had a pair Of trousers with
a large check in them until went
to England" said Mr.. Nye, and the au-
dience yelled mt the pun II got sew
eral suits OF cloths constructed by an
eminent London tailor, the trousers
maker extraordinary 10 the royal fam
ily. Most OF the clothes were dazzling.
all are loud, and some OF them are be-
ing used Just now to produce artificial
rain In Kansas"
The humorist told OF his stay at
the Victoria Hotel where he paid -
a day, he said. exclusive OF board and
lodging. It reminded him OF an ex-
perience In a Kentucky hotel. Eggs
according to the bin OF fare. were 10
cents-good 20 cents. When Mr.. Nye
had breakfasted. the landlord demand
ell So. The humorist protested. and
asked for reason for the extortion.
''You see, my friend, need the
money" explained the landlord.
Il think a young lady should not
marry until she Is % or 26 years old
unless previously requested to do so,"
Mr.. Nye said. In discussing How Shall
We Keep Our Wives at Home Of Even
mgs".
he thought that II ladies could be
induced to stay at home until they
were so or 60, their habits would
become formed and they would no
longer banker after social distrac tions.
As a means TO this end he favored the
beau tiflcation OF the home.
He connsellsd the collection of house
hold receipts as published In the pa
pers. He had recently read that a
wife should always meet her husband
with n smile. He cut this out aud
showed IL to his wife.
III you waited until you came home
for your smile," Mrs. Nye Informed him
''you would be always certain to re-
ccive it,
A pastoral essay on spring was Mr..
r.,ye's best selection. He described the
bslmyteyed calf filling it's nose with
hot milk and then wiping it on the
sleeve OF the husbandman.
"The queen bee lays 100000 eggs In
a season." the essay averred, but they
are not good TO eat. A man once at
tempted TO graft the queen bee on
the Plymouth Rock hen. He failsd.
but afterwa ards became President OF
the United states
A. +. Burbank read some excellent
selections. His rendition OF a poem
by Kipling. "A Ballad OF East arr
Vest descriptive Of q horse steal
Hiudoostan. was most dramatic sad
was loudly encorei.
The Imperial Quartet sang . num-
ber Of choral pieces and we're deserv-
edIx apnfau5ad-