The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-27
THE NINE KILN CLUB.
Every Day Language Good Enough for
Members.

Mem berS.
Some time since, as Samuel Shin was
cleaning up Paradise hall in readiness
for the usual weekly meeting, he flung a
pan of ashes out of one of the windows
fronting on the alley, and the same de-
scended upon the head of Colonel Inquirer
Jones, who was about to enter the hall.
There has been bad blood between the
pair in consequence, or, rather, the colo
mel has wasted a great deal of time in
trying to catch Samuel in some lonely
locality. Odds of ten to one have been
given that he would succeed, but at the
last meeting, to the surprise of every
body, he walked up to Brother Shin and
extended his hand and waved the flag Of
peace. This action was brought about
By telegram announcing the death of
his mother in North Carolina. Two
hours later he heard that she had been
dead thirteen years when the telegram
was sent, but he was not the man to go
back on his word.
''Gem'len," said Brother Gardner, as
the meeting came to order. 81 hev few
will be keerfully listened to an inn
pecuniously considered. has observed
a tendency on de part of many members
OF dis club to affeck what may be tarmed
de Shakspearian style of conversashun.
1t Gums from de white folks, of co'se-
from dat class who has been suddenly
elevated by de profits of sewer con-
tract, an should be sot down on wild de
most vigorous disqualification. It hairt
in keepin' wild de financial an soshul
standln' of man who has to black
stoves an lay on whitewash at an aver
age income of seben dollars a week. l
want it stopped"
Judge Cahoots, Whyfore Davis, indie
pendence Jones and others began to look
very serious
Fur instance" continued the presi-
dent, "how many members Of dis club
know de meanin' Of de term, TO pog-
nosticate toward de mathematical indi-
vlduality? an yit, at de party given at
my house de odder night, ! heard it ut
tered no less dan fo'teen times. What's
de use of man airnin' dollar day
obsarvin' dat he expecks to condescend
to the irresponsible endeavor befo'
spring? He doan know whether it means
dat cranberries am gwine up to fo'ty
cents quart or will drap down to six.
an his nearer goes home an can't sleep
fur thinkin' about it. SIGH conversashun
simply implacates a resinous disinclina-
ton to absorb the proper desideratum."
Ripples Of excitement with suppressed
cries of Hear! hearrl
IF any OF you," continued the presi-
dent, as he laid aside his coat, "has an
deah dat de yuse of SIGH words as bonn
bastic, delirium tremens, Cato, incense
luential, Dante, Boston, impugn, re-
-aliate or postmaster gineral elevates
you in de corruptible an imperious esti-
nashun Of Vanderbilt an Gould you is
mistaken. When member
If dis club comes to me an wants to
oorry tablespoonful of forty cent green
ga, kase de preacher am gwine to be to
lis cabin fur supper, want him to sot |
Town on de aige of cheer, look me in |
,e eye an Civ 1t to me in plain English. |
lie needn't spect me to heap up de |
Measure bekase he uses SIGH words az
Ibdicate, absquatulate, Casarism an
,rimeval incalculate."
More rpples- during which Colonel
1ahoots managed to kick Sir John
Smythe on the shin, and thus pay off I'll
Id grudge.l
IF l had a son twenty vars OLE" said
ne president, as he looked up and down
ne aisles, ''an' he should cum home
ONE day wild his whitewash brush on
Us shoulder an inform me dat de graft
cashun of de incompatible syntax had
withdrawn lis oojecshuns to de planet
~ afiliasnun, do you know what /
Tould do? l would riz up az put my
10. 13's agin him wild SIGH auxiliary rep
eusbility dat he would pcrcolate de
cumulative fur six weeks TO
UNI. Oar bein' 10 furder bizness befo'
e club until It's recent communicashun
, de legislachur' is answered, we will
adEndate homsward." - Detroit Free
'reSs.
Il Scotch writer gives a hist OF instance.
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