New-York tribune., 1891-05-17

w.
Shortly after his marriage Alan Maceou T
ceyed the following curious letter from his hn,t
Nephew Alan: Don't talk fddlestlcxS aGod' a,od
though / never could understand why you ever ever
became parson, unless it was because your Ia'her
was the devils own.
II meant all along that you should ,Iaa mai 81
The doctors daughter. or course, as a Macleod on
Pittenauhair you might have had tile BEST III que
land, but then--what Macleod you areI nave s,',i
YOU ever heard OF the Irishmans pig !Iey pun
him by the tail when they want him TO tolloW ni9
smout That is what / have done with you;
heard all about the girl and about your pnliaIn- an
derngs together. and how you though1 ~ was was ,e
Church she wOrshpped wneh Tue culaee haIieve
object OF her alteration. Don't you ever nS psiisoSS
about single Young women wOTshlpplng tne CnuISh
when there's bachelor inside IL l heard ,,e sue
was decent body. so said that. sooner thah iea'e
you the last of the Macleods OF PlCtenqunai''
barren stock the girl should have you. -,
"The thing was how--with you and your @ ceii-
bate priest stuff and nonsense Bnt rroyIuenog, aa,
helps those who help themSelves--so hloS '''''
tumbled from the skies.
II saw her first at o thought-reading seance.
She did some very funny things, ana she pays ;s.
| the piano like angel She certainly had giIV
that way, for. with the aid Of her music sne
played ali sorts Of tricks on the fools who were
there. ! thought to myself what tricks she mrgho
play on you il you came within her range! Ihcn
all of sudden the whole thing was hatcheu III
my brain. | made her acquaintance: i TOOK her
home to supper. Afterward, inspired by the larg-
est quantity of champagne ] ever saw woman nan
drink. she told me all about herself. She was tne
most candid young woman / ever met.
"She was married-to an unfrocked parson
But according to her own account, she was more
than his match. perfect limb And as clever
as she was wicked--0ne of those wicked women
who are born. not made, for she was not yet
twenty-one. ! told her all about you. said that
IT, through her. YOU married the doctors daugh-
ter at Swaxham-on-Sea, she should have five hun
dred pounds upon your wedding day. She came
into the scheme at once. SO we arranged 1T all
together.
Among other things, her husband was one Of
those scamps who pose In the advertisement sheets
as distressed clergymen whose large families de-
pend for sustenance on their being able to dispose
Of some article or other at one-third OF its cost
price. just then his line was apostle spoons
which he bought for five shillings and sold for
twenty. | to summon you up TO town. L
was to bully you about your marriage. And then,
when had thoroughly upset you-which, eX,
planned to her. IL was the easiest thing III the world
to dol was to call your attention to his adyer-
tisement of the apostle spoons. | was to march
you off then and there to buy them. When L got
you into her house | was to leave the rest to her.
She was to pose as her husbands daughter,
which she young enough to be-in years, at
any rate. She said that if brought you TO her in
a state of agitation and confusion bordering on
imbecility-which l undertook to do-and if you
were the sort of had described TO her, within
half an hour she would induce you to use language
which might be construed into an offer of mar
riage. Then, with her husbands aid, she would
so drive you to distraction as to send you flying
into Miss Bayey's arms as into a harbor of refuge.
Il need not describe to you how she succeeded
though we had neither of us bargained that you
would be quite the fool you were. When heard
of your elOping with the doctors daughter the
instant Miss Vesey put in an appearance on the
scene. | owned that had at last attained to one
article Of faith-an implicit belief in the infinite
capacity for folly to be found in the human animal
in trousers.
1t is unnecessary under these circumstances
to say that congratulate you upon your marriage.
| WI wi Dp a
and present you, without loss of time, with a son
or. better still. with half a dozen-so that may
them who shall not be quite such fool as his
father Your afectionate aunt. Janet Macleod
of Pttenquhair'
When Miss Macleods nephew had finished read
ing this letter he wiped the perspiration from his
brow. Then he wiped his glasses. Then he sat
thinking not too pleasantly. Such letter was
bitter pill to swallow. Then, not desirous that
his aunts epstle should be read by his wife ne
tore it into strips and burned them one by one
He told himself that he would never forgive his
aunt-never land that. willingly. he would never
look upon her face again.
But so TO resolve was only TO add another TO his
list Of follies. Within twenty-four hours of his
marriage, fortunately for him. his wife had proved
that the gray mare was once more the better horse.
Now she had got her man, at last, the strong vein
Of common sense that was in her came to the front
When Miss Macleod came to see her she received
her with open arms, and, as matter of course,
where she led her husband followed.
To one thing Alan has been constantine the
doctrine of the "celibate priest According to
him. a priest" married was not priest" at all.
Immediately after his marriage, therefore, nobody
offering the least objection, he quilted the priest
hood" He is now gentleman of leisure. Prob
ably with a view Of providing him with some
occupation his bid bids fair to come up to his
aunts standard of q sensible woman and TO present
him with half dozen sons.
There is. therefore. no fear of the Macleods of
Pittenquhair becoming--like certain volcanoes
extinct. at least in the present generaton-(Rich-
ard Marsh, in The Gentemans Magazine.