Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1891-01-30

over thar ter night an see wat she hes ter
saw erhOut if -

ody
The deacon went home, took down his
old blue jeans coat, got pair of trousers
to match, which had been pulled too soon
by about six inches at the bottom end of
the legs, used piece of bed cord for sus-
pender, put on his old SLOUGH hat and start
ed for the Wells residence, but Malindy
was not at home. Two evenings after,
however, he found her there, and made his
wishes known as follows:
oval, Indy, I've he'd my eve sot on We
ever sence Sindy died, an Pm yere ter ak
reef ye're willin' ter jine me-"
'Jine your" she asked in the most sar-
castle and scornful manner she could COM
mand
''Ya-as,"
What do you mean?''
Eye know wat l mean, we'll ernuff.
want ye ter be my woman-ter jine me an
live 18th meter be my wife. Do We UNI
erstan?"
''Of course 1 will notl''
"Won't, eh?'
''No."
''W'y?"
Don't want your
Purity sassy, ye air."
81 can't help that. l don't want you,
and will not 'jine' you! Do you understand
that?"
"Uh-huh.''
"Well, good night then,'' said the girl,
as she started to leave the room.
''Say, hold on er mint"
"What do you want?" demanded the
girl,
"Doncher think ye'd best change yer
mind, gal?"
''No! I shall never change it for you!
You had better wait until your last wife
gets cold before trying to get another,
think. But would never marry at all if
you We're my only chance, and it is useless
for you to press your suit any further
Eye an Their parsons gittin' purity dad
blamed thick, an l reckon it's some o. his
doin's''
sit makes no difference. You have al
ready killed five wives, and I tell you now
that you will never get a chance to kill me,
and you had just as well leave, or will
make you.''
'Say, gal, I've got CT good hum fer We,
an We 'uldn't hev much O. ennything ter
do, only SIGH little chores es cuttin' wood,
hoein' corn, suckerin' terbacker, an'''-
Get out of here, tell you,'' shouted the
girl, as she made for him with the broom,
and he got up and shook the dust of the
WellS plftutdIfOll OH HIS IcoC.
Returning home he took short cut
through the mountains, and as he passed
along the narrow path under the bluff on
the river bank he met the parson, who, I'M
conscious that they were rivals, extended
his hand to the enraged deacon. But in
stead of grasping the parsons hand the
deacon began to take off his coat, and said:
''Say, parson, yer've got me ter whup."
GWhat ir, ho tba !,
you, should like to know?''
'"Thars matter ernuff. I'll whup We er
yell whup me- one er luther"
"WhY, man, what have I done to incur
your displeasure in such manner?"
Done ernuff, an I'll pitch We often ther
bank inter the river" and he caught the
parson in his arms
The parson was by far the smaller man,
but he decided to stick to the deacon closer
than brother, while the irate deacon COM
menced backing off toward the bank, and,
as he thought, to hurl the little parson into
the cooling stream, they both fell over and
the parson seemingly rode down the en-
bankment on the carcass of the deacon.
The water was not very deep, but the
parson was the best man of the two in the
water, and after dipping the deacon under
three times he asked:
"Have you got enough?"
"Naw"
"Then I'll put you under until you d.
and he dipped him three times more, and
the old fellow yelled:
"'Nuff. Lemme outen yere"
When both were out and standing on the
bank the parson said:
well, deacon, as the matter is now over
would like to know what have done to
make you treat me in this manner?"
oval, ye've did right smart. Fust,
we've spilled ther gal wuz er goin' ter hev
fer my mex wife, an now she won't jine
me-"
''Who is it2"
''Lindy Wells''
81 have done nothing Of the kind"
aye air er liar, an We know it! Thar,
take ernuther BATH" and he made plunge
for the parson, who was standing between
him and the water, but the sprightly par
son stepped to one side and the deacon
went in head first.
"Now," said the parson, TIL keep you
in there. until next Sunday if you don't
take that back
''1'll never CUTTER" said the deacon but
the parson was firm and pushed him off
every time he came near the bank, and at
last the deacon said:
oval, mebbe wuz err jedgin' We wrong,'
and the parson helped him out, and each
man went his way home.
A month after that the parson and Ma
Indy We're married. and when the deacon
heard of it he said, regretfully:
cts purity dadgasted hard on er Teller
wen his wife's gone an died jes' wen he
needs er wife ther wust, an 'specshally
Wen Their craps ,suffern'; but wat [ hate
Their wust is ter think at ther parson
preached Their ole oman's funeral Wen she
died, an then sot out an married ther
very gal I he'd made up my mind ter marry
afore Sindy wuz in Ter coffin. u. W.
Hyder in Times Democrat.