The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-08-14
pUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

The young couple who are III love
have a pressing engagement almost
every night.-Dallas News.
Time heals everything. There Is
nothing a man can get SO much real
endowment out of as contemplating the
misery he suffered ten years ago be-
cause some girl Tilted him. - N. Y.
Recorder.
Dentists Never Do.-''Are you sure
you can put my teeth into satisfactory
condition." DentiSt-''Ees, sir; at any
rate, | will spare no pains to do so. -
Yankee Blade.
--McFingle-" saw an advertisement
of billiards. store in the papers this
morning" McFangle-'I thought he
never advertised He told me so, and
said he never would" McFingle-''iie
didn't 1t was in the list of sheritf's
sales. Boston News
WHATS the quarrel between you
and Hawkins?" "Well, Hawkins is
man who will never sit on a chair if he
can set on a table. lie came to see me
with mis- new summer srit on and-well,
there was fly paper on the table" - n.
y. Sun.
Servant Girl--''Tsn't the lieutenant
paying his addresses to you, Fraulein"
"Why, what an impertinent question"
Not at all | only want to know
whether it's his object to try and make
fools of us both. "-Fliegende Batter.
lapius-"Well, my little man,
what can | do for you?" Cupid-'f
want something to cure lame arm.
The summer girl has kept me so busy
shooting hearts for her that | am in
danger of being laid up by overwork.
n. y. Herald.
-'Jane, | saw that policeman speak
to you. That's the third policeman I've
seen speaking to you this morning. |
can't allow that" mo, ma am. But
the policemen always do admire baby
so-they can't clip stoppin' and asllin'
about i'm. They all say as they never
See such fine child. Punch.
Dot boy of mine ish going TO make
goot business man." said Mr. Beck
stein. yesterday | toldt him | vas
going to leave all my property to him
ven died, und vot you s'posc he say to
dot?' Il don't know, Mr.. Bccllstein. ="
well, he say he will throw off per
cent. for spot cash. Detroit Free Press.
"A Bad Brcak.-Dr. Workum (wrath)
Where is the blooming chump who
put up that last prescription for Mr..
Shaker" Druggist humility
head clerk, sir; he has gone to dinner.
trust there is nothing wrong Dr.
WOrkum more wrath) - Nothing
wrong? Well, | guess. Why, the ass
put up quinine in those capsules by
mistake for sugar of milk, and Shaker
has got rid of that ague. "-Pharmaceu-
teal Era.
You are determined" he said, with
a sadness in his voice that was almost
pitiful, mot to change your mind. You
will be sister to me?" YES" she
murmured. Then" he proceeded, as
he showed his coat-sieeves down over
his wrists, ''In my capacity of brother
| shall formally object to the attentions
of any of your acquaintance, and take
active means to carry my objections
into effect. Washington Post
Young Miss Blank, to try her young
mans fidelity, asked her intimate friend
to beg him to kiss her as he was taking
her home one evening. A few days
later Miss Blank met her friend, and
the following conversation occurred:
did you ask John?" NO didn't get
chance" Why" "IIe asked me
first" Choking with wrath, young
Miss Blank gasped: ''What did you
do?'' Kissed him, of course. "-Indi-
| aDanOliS NnIys