The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-03-08

house. and it's hard thing to break of
old habits all at once, but I'm going to
give it trial if it takes the hide off,"
+ Mr.. Diltz entered the house, hung his
hat and overcoat in the hall instead of
throwing them down in heap on the sofa
In his usual fashion. Then he went on
tiptoe upstairs, put on his best necktie,
combed his hair carefully. and came softly
down the stairs again.
MARY Jane" he called out. "Where are
you, dearr"
Out here" answered a voice in the
kitchen. did you bring that package of
chocolate told you not to forget when you
went down town this morningf"
why, no." said Mr. Diltz regretfully,
as he went into the kitchen. 81 forgot it,
dear"
Mrs. Diltz looked at him suspiciously.
He hadn't called her 'dear" for about
eleven years.
"You forgot it9 Hpmphl just expected
it. What are you up to now"
This query, somewhat sharply uttered,
was prompted by an unexpected forward
movement on the part of Mr. Diltz
Don't you see Pm cleaning this chick
emf" she exclaimed Look outl You'll
!
! gizzard. A man has no business poking
round in the kitchen when he can't do any
good"
ed to kiss his wife, but concluded to post
pone the matter for a little while.
MARY Jane" he said. my dear''-
What are you all slicked up for, any
how? Going anywhere?
mo, love. expect to spend the rest of
the day at home came an hour or two
earlier, thinking'-
Il wish you had brought that chocolate.
That's what wish"
Darling" said Mr. Diltz, 'I-that's no
way to go to work at a chicken gizzard.
Let mel
Maybe you know more about this kind
Of work than do. Maybe haven't cleaned
hundreds of chickens since I've been keep
ing house? What are you shopping around
out here for, anyhow, with your hair all
plastered down and that smirk on your
faee?"
my dearest Mary Jane, I'-
"Polhemus," broke in his wife, laying
down the portion of the fowls anatomy
she had been dissecting, and looking at hin
keenly, what on earth is the object of this
palvering2 What new dodge are you try
ing to work now2"
why. Mary Jane, I've made up my mini
to try to get along with you in DIP
ITO get along with me? What do yor
mean? Do you tell me to my face Pm hare
to get along WITH"
Not at ALL Mary Jane; not at all Iva.
only going to say that we might live to
gether more comfortably, you know, if-e
If we'd quit this quarreling and be SO
ciable, you know, as we used to be. There
no need of us actinglike cats and dogs'-
who says we act like cats and dogs, II
like to know? Look here. Polhemus
You've been drinking"
Its a blamed l. now, Mary Jane
don't you give way to that temper o
:. yoursp
"Who started this fuss?"
you did"
81 didn't. You did yourself"
81 didn'tp
"You didp'
you know better"
sTell your wife she lies, do your Well
it isn't the first time. If you have an,
. business to attend to at your office Their
will be plenty time for you to go and do i
before supper. III geI along. QOn't neet
any help on this chicken"
"Diddledy dad-swing the dag-gone oil
henl" shouted Mr.. Diltz, beside himsel
, with rage. dad swizzle It's everlastin,
, gol-dinged old carcassl"
He went out of the kitchen, slammin!
the door behind him, and in less than
, quarter of a minute he was on his wa,
back to his office, muttering excitedly t.
: himself and crushing the inoffensive side
walk hard beneath his vindictive heel a
he strobe along.
Mr.. Diltz has not entirely given up tn
idea of counting his wife, but he has regis
| tered castiron vow never to undertak
the job again when she is anatomizing
to chicken.-Chicago Tribune