New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-25
Mr.. BOWSER HAS STREAK

All husbands are 'tstreaky.' They
will run along all right for week or
two as good as pie, and then all of a
sudden and with no valid excuse they
will break out in the most surprising
manner. When Mr.. Bowser left the
house after lunch the other day he
was in great good humor and stopped
to say: Dt.
81 think I'll stop and get tickets for
the theater tonight and we'll put in
an enjoyable evening"
When he returned at he assembled
the steps with a scuff! scuff! scuf! un-
locked the front door, gave it a kick,
and made his way into the back par
DOR to growl;
"Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to
run this house on system?'
"Why, what is wrong, dear?" she
queried in reply.
'There's lots of things wrong! had
scarcely left the office when this over
coat button came off. 1 laid this
coat off the 9TH OF last May, and
you've had five months to secure that
button.
"But I didn't know it was loose.
Why didn't you tell ne?"
'Why haven't told you ten thous-
sand other things that onght to be
done! There Gre wives who glance at
their husbands clothing once or twice
a year and discover what repairs are
needed. I want darning needle and
a piece of string"
''But: I'll sew the button on
I ~. "No; I'll do it myself. don't want
to take up your valuable time"
And despite Mrs. Bowser's entreaties
and protestations he threaded the
needle with a piece Of string and sat
down and sewed on the button. He
got it an inch out OF line with the but
to-. hole, of course, and of course it
wouldn't have staid five minutes in
any event, but he had carried his
point. When he had laid the coat
aside he asked:
'Have we got a bradawl and a.
piece of wax end in the house?"
81 don't think So What do you
want of them?"
ITO mend my suspender of course.
+ Hadn't got hundred feet from the
house this noon when it busted on me
as usual. II there's another house in
the United States run like this one I'd
like to hear Of it and 60 and sit down
* on the doorstep for half an hour. Per-
haps I can repair it with a piece OF
clothesline until I get down town
again
s s'But you can't blame me, Mr.. Bow
b SER" she said.
40, of course not; you are not to
- blame for anything!''
1. But how did know your suspen-
der was ready to break?"
"That's all right: Mrs. Bowser! I'll
get a piece of clothes-line or barbed
wire and make repairs and you
needn't worry at all! There are
wives and wives"
care we going to the theater?" she
asked as he began pacing up and down
the room with his hands under his
'coat-tails.
a. 'What?' he shouted in a. voice
which jumped the cat out OF the
Are we going to the theater?"
81 s'Theater! Theater! Have you gone
crazy? Mrs. Bowser, look here, and
then talk theater to me!'
He unlaced one of his shoes and
kicked it off, and there, at the end OF
his big toe, was hole about as big as
a nickle.
II was intending to 60 to the
theater," he said as he stood and
pointed to the hole, "but can't get
p away this evening. have got to stay
home and darn my socks. That hole
2 there has started a corn on my toe
this very day"
-. "Mr. Bowser, those socks were
brand-new. yesterday morning when
you put them ~on!" exclaimed Mrs
Bowser with a good deal of energy.
80, OF course! I probably cut that
hole with the shears! I Want a darn
ing-needle and some string or some
thing. AS long as I've got to take
care Of my clothes through the rest o.
my life I might as we'll begin tonight. .
Mrs. BoWser protested, but he
threaded a darning- needle with q
piece Of red string and used up about
eight feet of it in darning the hole
of we get through in time we may
"Get through with what?'
Mrs Bowser,' he said as he re-
moved his coat and turned his back
t.look at the back Of my vest!"
II see it; but what's wrong?"
He appeared to be growing good-na
tured, and she ventured to ask:
"Aren't we going to go to the thea
ter tonight"
wrong! wrong! Is there a buckle
there? Put on your glasses and tel
me if you can find buckle anywhere
on the back of my vest.'' F