Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-07-07
FIRST PERSON SINGULAR
Has Q Room Mate Who II Another
Person Singular.
AND HAD 1 VERY SINGULAR ScHEyE
Biaadsrs and Wooden shoes In Comb
nation-A PerambaiAtor os the Placid
Waters of the GrAnd-An In
yerted Inventor.

ae't VIZ A&sN~s R~>St-se< @~>.~~
you ever heard of. have been room.
ing with him some time, and have 81
ways been under the impression that be
WAS Of sound mind and good sense. 10
eats regularly every day, and Is
never, until recently exhibited aey
marked idiosyncracies. His head Is
well shaped, he talks intelligently, ADD
pair of glasses which he always wefrs
gives him an intellectual appearan$e.
which is beyond dispute. He meyer
has much 10 say. but AS | have lat1G
found out, does an awful lot OF think
ing. lie works because it is more re-
spectacle. His aversion for manual la
tor Is very pronounced. | went home
the other evening and found hlni IN
dustrIousiy engaged in initiating &n
bladders by lung power. l could
scarcely believe my eyes. aud rubbed
them to see if | had 1.-The birds" or
what saw was = reality. 1t was re-
atty, all right enough. | SAID: "What
IN the world are you going ~ do with
those? "Never mind" he replied eif
this scheme works you will not hearsof
my working for living" My curi6s-
ty was aroused. / felt sorry for Hly
friend. l would do anything for htm,
aud began to consider whether ar not
it would he advisable to send word To
his relatives. first thought l would
ascertain to the best OF my ability
How Far He Was Gone
before made break. With his vel
fare at heart. began to question him.
"Come, my dear fellow, contide i'll me.
You can tinst me, old boy, can't yon?"
"You just hold your horses awhile.
Ycu will find out in due time" Thus
answered my roommate and
began to fear that my appre-
henslons were well founded. l
did not intend to give up 50 easily
and tried again to make him reveal
this precious secret. After much per-
suaslon he opened up. "It's just like
this" he commenced. "Here / have
been working all my life and have no
more now than when / first started. l
am sick of it, and have concluded to
turn over q new leaf. Every once in q
while some baloonist comes here, goes
up, and carries away enough NJ oney
TO last him all winter. There are
actors, fakirs. snide shows and hun
dreis of other things where people
make money without giving 50 much
in return. Now, what's the reason l
can't do something Of the kind? No
reafon N the world. That's the way l
have figured it out, and these biaddeTs
are q part of the paraphenalia with
which / am not Only gong to make
living, but world wide reputation"
Delivering himself of this, my friend
glanced around and the aspect of .aiss
countenance led me to he believe that
he had mortgage on the world and
was thinking Of putting plaster on the
moon. only hoped for his sake that
it was true. My anxiety to know what
he was driving at, increased IN It's in
tensity. "If you will promise faith-
fully to keep what | say \ secret, will
tell you," finally said his greatness.
"I have placed an order with n car
penter to have y
Pair OF Large Wooden Shoes
made, with a place on top to which l
can strap my feet. Then l am going to
put these bladders inside and proceed
to give limitations of our Savior who SO
successfully walked on the water thou
sand of years ago. Just think of that.
How do you think my name would
look OH large etTed!itT Wltu III du.
nouncement that was the only living
man who could perform the wonderful
and daring feat?' Poor fellow. l did
not rldicule him. l knew that he
needed rest AMI leave of absence.
Probably q week at Ottawa Beach would
see him completely recovered. / told
him thought 1t could be done, and
did my best not TO excite him. All
went along smoothly for few days.
One evening my friend told me that he
had something important to say to me.
| stepped apart from the gentleman to
whom | was talking, and he whispered
that If | wanted to see him make the
experiment should follow him to the
banks of the Grand. l went just for the
fun of it. He put on the shoes and
started out. extrlcated him from the
mire once or twice. With much stag
gering and staggering, STOPPING down
and moving carefully, he managed 10
propel himself out of my reach. He
Strengthened up and attempted to strut
like Pat Rooney. There was frantic
wavering of arms aud over he went
head first There was splash, few
ripples of water, and then what looked
like two email cotfins fioated serenely
down the stream. | called for help
and hastened to his assistance. Two or
three fellows came running and with
their assistance fished him out. He
has been under the doctors care four