davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1891-03-29

YONKERS n. ", March 2S.-General
Thomas Ewing's handsome residence and
its contents were burned to-day. The
family barely escaped with their lives.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
BENJAMIN FrankIin,s Heirs.

PHILADELPHIA, March 2S.-Judge PEN
rose to-day dismissed the petitions of the
descendants of Benjamin Franklin, who
claimed an accumulated fund of about
Sl00, 900 held by the city in trust.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Change in superIntendents.

PORTLAND orr, March 2S.-Superin-
tendent Crocker OF the Pacific Division of
the Union Pacific Railway has resigned
and Edward Cookingham, late assistant
superintendent, has been appointed to
succeed him.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
IRISH TROUBLES.
Parne1l Makes a Trium phal
Entry Into Sligo.
BUT IS SUBSEQUENTLY ATTACKED
BY HIS OPPONENTS.

A Fierce Struggle Ensues at the Town
Hall, in Which tho Irish Leader
Claims to Have Been Assaulted by
One of the Residents of the Town,
and Was Forced to Deslst From
The record-union., 1891-03-29
WASHINGTON Printers.

WASHINGTON, March 2s.-The propri-
etors of the job printing officers have
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Commercial Treaty with spain.

PARIS, March %. = General Foster,
Special Envoy of the United States to
Spain, in his efforts to arrange CONNER
cial treaty expresses himself as confident
that his mission will be successful. Cen
eral Foster said he expected to be able to
return to the United States in May.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Financ,allx Emharrassed.

BOSTON, March 2S.-The Boston Car
Spring Company is financially embar-
rassed. The debts are about S116,0C0.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Fire on Board a steamer.

LIVERPOOL, March 2S.-A fire occurred
last night in the hold of the Inman Line
steamship City of New York. The
flames were speedily extinguished. The
cargo was much damaged by water.
The hull of the City of New York is
not hurt.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
PnhIin Ronon1

Public Reception TO Senator VOORHEES,.
SUFFER- CREEK, March Ex-senator E.
G. Voorhies of Amador County returned
home this evening and was rendered a
public reception.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Prince Napoleon,s VIII.

ROME, March 2S.-The will of the late
Prince Napoleon leaves everything III
possessed to his son, Prince Louis.
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Failure of a Drv Goods Firn

LONDON tOnt.), March 2s.-The whole,
sale dry goods house of John Birreli q
Co. tailed to-day. The liabilities are
S250,000 and the assets estimated al
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Explosfon i'm a Refinery still.

LIMA (Ohiol, March 2S.-The still at the
refinery exploded to-day, fatally injuring
one man and seriously injuring several
others
The record-union., 1891-03-29
Eii,ed bv n Fan of Roclx.

GALLUP On. ny, March 2S.-A. E. Cas-
sidy, Pat Lynch and a Frenehman were
killed this morning in the Caledonia coal
mine, Rock fell on them.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

good tidings Of great JOY thar never
was tidings Of Joy came to me like
them bell brought 1t was Christmas
eve, an hadn't never thought Of it all
day. Thar I was, within hearin' O. the
bells. an givin' out, an made up my
mind I'd make another stagger, n
struggled up again.
"Twan't no use, though. I'd got
plumb to the end O. the run. Iplowed
along bit, but as l knowed alter
wards l must ha' gone clean off my
head, fur l left the trail an wandered
off somewhere, the Lord only knows
where, but He must ha' been (ookin'
out fur us, fur l kinder wandered
round, like, till ! come back ter the
trail agin. an as luck would have it
come back ter. the top of bluff, an
stumblin' ahead, KNOWN nothin',
went plumb over, draggin' the sled
along with me.
"Wall, we tumbled square inter the
roadway. Eff it hadn't been for the
snow we'd both ha' been killed, likely,
fur we fell nigh fifty feet AS twas I
couldn't git up, fur ! was dead Wat,
an the ole man couldn't cause hEin't
united him. l was skeerd to do it. But
he wasn't hurt an he lay on one side,
expectin' to lay there an die, when he
heerd sleigh bells. Blamed if teller
didn't come drivin' along with Z fust-
rate horse. Seems he lived out On the
perara an was goin' home I'm town,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
CHRISTMAS DOTS.

The best clause in a mans life
Santa Claus.-Detroit Free Press.
-Christmas-tled-The miser's wallet.
strings. Philadelphia Press.
i will honor Christmas in my heart
and try to keep it all the year.-Charles
Dickens.
Chicago girls never expect to get
their stockings full on Christmas. -
Dansville Breeze.
1T is along about Christmas time
that country people do murder most
fowl.-N. o. Picayune.
Christmas is time in which the
memory of every remediable sorrow,
wrong and trouble in the world around
us should be active within us.-Charles
Dickens.
"A man should always remember
that he is unusually lucky when he does
not have to pay for all the presents his
wife makes him on Christmas.
well, Bobbie, said his father the
day after Christmas, "aren't you sorry
Christmas comes only once year?"
'Oh, dknow. If DR.. Squills has got to
come the day after Christmas every
time, I'm rather glad of il. "-Harpers
Bazaar.
1t is trying moment to marie d
man when debating with himself
whether it is best to buy his wife a
Christmas present or to use the money
in settling the big bill which he owes
at the little saloon around the corner.
-Philadelphia News.
Santa Claus is really very large
merchant" remarked Simeral. "How
do you make that out?" asked Shopper.
He has large stockin' trade. "-Ju Judge
Il heard the bells on Christmas day
Their Old familiar carols play.
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
OF peace on earth, goodwill to menl
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Teacher-If your mother had TWEEN
ty-five yards of stuff. and made dress
requiring but eighteen yards. how much
would she have left?
Little Girl-Mamma can't make her
own dresses She has tried often, and
they are always either too
Teacher-Suppose she sent it to .
dressmaker, how much would the dress
maker send back?
Little Girl-Depends on which dress.
maker she sent it to. Some wouldn't
send back any
Teacher OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES she
sent it to an honest one?
Little Girl-Some Of the honestest
ones cut things 10 waste SO that there
is never anything left. no matter how
much you send 'em.-Good News
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
A TELLER CAME DRIVING ALONG.


but he was a good-hearted Teller, an
when he found out what the situation
was he turned right away an took us
into town fyin'. The ole man had
sense enough left to tell him about il
an to tell who we was.
The Teller drove right to the ole
mans house, m we found they was
havin' little Christmas party there,
an nat'ral enough they was talkin'
about the ole man when we come to
the door. I was that tired l never
woke up till the next afternoon, an
there l was in bed in the ole mans
house. with the doctor lookin' at me.
He laughed when looked. 'roun an
asked where 1 was, an he says: 4
thought you'd be all right, soon as
you'd had your sleep out An says:
Yes, I'm all right; but how's the ole
man?' Then he looked mighty grave,
an he says: 4 can't tell yet He's been
hurt mighty bad, but l reckon maybe
with good nussin' he'll come round
mebbe. He would ha' died, though, if
he hadn't been brought home Then
he shook hands with me an said all
sorts O foolish things bout me bein'
hero, stead O. what l am, a big man
with tolable strong legs an arms. But
Lord bless you! what he said was
nothin' to the way the women took
on, when dressed an went
downstairs. They Rugged me, an
kissed me till l was fairly 'shamed O.
myself an the ole woman says: Joe
Pelton, you brought me my husband
for Christmas gift, and I'll give you
wife fur yourn.' Then l knowed it
were all settled, cause I knowed the
ole man wouldn't never go back on
what she said. An he didn't, neither,
when he got stronger, as he did alter
bit. He won't never be strong like
he was, but he's tolable we'll now, an
likely to live good many years.
"Well, them women made me talk
all the afternoon bout the walk down
I'm camp, an when they wanted to
know how Id hurt my finger, an
told EN-, I'm blamed if they didn't cry
till | felt like a fool. Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
vengeonCoi

And now" whispered the dying
wife, when | am gone, John. dear
don't grieve at my loss. but get married
again, for the children need some one
to look after them, and"
20. don't May, don't pleaded the
sorrowful husband, don't speak Of IT.
But must" said she And If you
get married. marry Miss May berly"
Il will. May. If you think she would
make me good wife"
That's not It" she said, and her
breath came fast and faint, but when
she won the prize for making the best
bread, swore I'd get even with her and
make her life unhappy and-and you
can do it, John!"- Boston News.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
NY CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

You're thinking, maybe, what you'll give
To mo by way Of sweet reminder
You've not forgotten that live
The seasons kind and you are kinder.
Well Christmas has no prettier trait
Than this Of gift and love expressing;
We grumb.e as we pay the freight
But hearts grow big by purse COMPRISING
But when you ponder in your mind
What shall it BET A book Of versesi
A case Of razors, satin-lined?
One Of those dainty little purses,
All knit in silk by your dear hands!
A book mark with the motto "Mizpahr'
Let these 60 forth to other lands
But not to memo, let me whisper:
You've promised some day to be mine,
To be my wife-my great home ruler;
I've waited months-how many? nine
From balmy spring to days much cooler
So now, my love, I ask in rhyme,
Pray name the day-the seasons pleasant.
Thus may your present be the time,
And let the time, too, be the present.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
He Didn't Lie,

Father-Look here, young man, give
an account of yourself. What kept you
out so late last night?
SOM was attending class in eth
nology, and Of course ] didn't want to
leave till the session was over
what do you want to lie, for? have
positive knowledge that you we're at
the bicycle tournament Good deal Of
ethnology about that, eh?"
Certainly That comes under the
head of the races Of man. don't it2"-
Boston Courier.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

The widow of distinguished pro
fessor was visited by a rather shabby
genteel sort OF a gentleman. who ex
pressed great admiration for her de
ceased husband and who finally said
~ revere the memory Of your hus
band. and would like very much to have
some relic to keep and cherish"
1.-THE only relic can offer you" re
piled the disconsolate widow. signing
heavily, lis myself. If you will love
and cherish me for his sake you may
for am Of an affectionate disposition
and"
But the relic hunter had silently
stolen away before she could finish the
sentence.-Texas Siftings
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Mercantile Item.

Now, then" said New York mer-
chant to one of his travelling statesmen,
who was packing for his journey, "let
US see that you sell more goods on this
trip than you did before. Our firm is
more generally known now"
"In that case" said the drummer,
looking obviously up from his sample
cases, Il am little afraid it will be up
hill work."-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Saw the Economy.

A ten-year old boy was atten lively
regarding Christmas tree which a
woman had brought and left out side q
store for moment, when ma n re
marked: .
See anything queer about it, my
boyf'
Takes q woman for economy" re.
piled the boy with a smile. II was
just counting. There are twelve good
limbs on that tree to lick the children
with after it has been used for Christ
mas. Detroit Free Presa.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
In the Snake Ward.

DR.. Burridge-How do you feel this
morning?
Snoozer 1.-THE tramp)- Pretty com
fable, doc; but | visit you'd let
science have a rap at me.
DR.. Burridge-H How?
Snoozer-Jest try that oppyration fer
tn TRANSMISSION of beer.-Judre.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
A Matter Of Money.

II congratulate you, Julia, on your
approaching marriage" said Mr.. Hyatt,
a prominent New York merchant, to his
daughter
Marriage, pa? l don't know any
thing about it,"
II am telling you about it now," re-
piled Mr.. Hyatt.
But who is the bridegroom, pap"
asked Julia.
That's none of your business. You
must not have so much curiosity. That
is a business secret that cannot be d.
vulged just now. I'll let you know who
he is after the wedding is over."-Texas
Siftinrs
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

the time I'd lost track O that entirely.
Then the cold began to numb me again.
Twas a<ightful cold night, an dun
no how twas the ole man KEEP FIN
freezing to death.
Finally, staggered n fell, n just
as 1 did. n thought to myself t 1
wouldn't bother to git up fur 'twan't
>wuth while. the ole man spoke up. I
don't think he'd said anything afore, all
day long. Joe he says, speakin' sharp
an loud, but not hollerin', Joe, hear
the Christmas chimes!' ~
First thought he was ravin' again.
but it started me up an listened, an
sure enough the church bells was a.
ringin'. Boys, never knowed afore
what church bells mean. Talk about
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Prominent Politician-I have done a
good many favors for yan. and now I'd
like you to put friend Of mine on your
paper?
Great Editor-Would he do for a re-
porter?
mo, he hasn't any legs"
"Um - might make an exchange
editor, perhaps?"
"He couldn't read the newspapers.
He's blind"
"Poor fellow! Can he hear?'
mo, deaf as a post. He is hne
writer, though, and he has lively i'm
agination."
Good! | will appoint him London
correspondent. Good News.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Contracted a Prejudice.

mo, Mrs. Van Twilken will never
cross the water" said lady to her
caller.
why not?"
well, you see her husband rescued
her from drowning. That was what
led to their acquaintance, and she has
had a violent prejudice against the
ocean ever since. "-Washington Star.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
The Unreliable Sex.

Gus De Smith-The young ladies Of
the present day are no good. They can't
be relied on.
Kosciusko Murphy-What makes you
think so?
Gus De Smith, am engaged to three
young ladies, and they all flirt with
other men.-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Jack-How did you manage to get rid
Of your rival?
Harry got him appointed an um-
pire, and took the girl out to witness his
first game.-Puck.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
A Give-A way.

Judge-Officer, you say this woman
when locked up. was dressed in mems
attire?
Officer-Yes, sir; but didn't suspect
her sex until this morning, when she
was buttoning her shoes
.Judge-How did you detect it then?
OfRcer-She asked me for hairpin'
Puck
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Famished Finnegan politely Young
lady, would yer please ak yer
mother if she can't give poor man
bit Of cold luncheon?
Miss Witherupp (aged thirty -eight)-
Sit right down here. poor fellowl RI
get you some myself-Judge.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Horizontal Longevity.

Are boa constructors remarkable for
longevity"
Indeed they are. Some Of them
grow to be thirty or forty feet long -
Brooklyn Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Codling-Look here. Mawler. you
pretend to be realistic painter and yet
in this picture you have stream In oil
colors instead Of putting it in water
colors.
Mawler-That's all right, Cooling
The stream in that picture is Oil creek,
in Venango county. Pa brooklyn
Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
REDWOOD. 90.
LAND FOR SALE.

Section IS, town of Sheridan, $40
acres, one of the very finest sections in
Redwood county. A schoolhouse on
the section, good neighborhood, and
good roads all around the section, will
sell on reasonable terms. Also,
The Sc. ! of Sec. 10, 100 acres;
Ei, NW4 and WI NE of Sec. II
100 acres;
400 acres in Kintire;
$40 acres in Redwood Falls;
Also, State Lands.
A large part of these lands are from
II to 4 miles from Delhi and Belview
on the NJ & St. L. r. r. and are cheap
or in proportion than lands further
from market. The foregoing list fur
nishes good opportunity for two or
more parties to locate together. Will
sell on reasonable terms and long
time.
Now is the time to buy, as all lands
in Redwood county will advance ma
terially in price this year.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Prof. Wetthedust Ia few years hence)
Good morning, Mr.. Tiller. Anything
in my line to-day? have brought my
balloons and explosives along.
Mr. Tiller american farmcr)-Well,
l dunno. What's the price of rain now9
N Y Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

4" 80 "dlucuS Kay,
Had each q lovers token
To mark the holiday:
Maud's was u stately mansion
With towers and spires above;
Mays was diamond necklace,
And mine was-Roland's love
Maud's sutton wa o banker,
White-halred and stout and o,d;
And Mays proud patrician
With wealth Of lands and gold.
But mine was just toiler
Content with humble part;
He had but this to offer
true and loving heart.
Maud leads within her mansion,
An empty life OF show,
And Mays rich jewels cover
heart that throbs with woe;
But in my heart forever
Love sings her joyous lays;
She lightens all my burdens
And brightens all my ways.
Rare gems and stately mansions
Are but the price OF gold;
But love is aye God given
And never bought or sold.
1t is the souls glad sunshine;
1t IS the hearts sweet rest;
And, rich or poor. IN loving
We are forever blest
Then oh, be glad this morning
II such a gtft is yours,
For go!dbought joys are changeful,
Bat honest love endures.
Though lowly may your lot be,
In royal state apart
God crowns you when He gives you
The love Of one true heart
AIDE aide d. Reynolds, in Springfield Mass.
Republican.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
The Difference Explained.

81 can't understand why you haven't
proprietor to an Office boy, referring to
another.
''James never has to answer the tele.
phone" replied the abused young man.
Detroit Free Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
The Humblest May Follow.

Miss Wobbleton-How beautiful, pro.
fessor, it would be to mold ones life,
however imperfectly, after the ideas
and practice Of Emersonl
Prof. Grout-Well, you can make .
star: by eating pie!-Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Too Much So.

Lucy-Clara Katchem has certainly
the most engaging manners Of any girl
I know.
Harry (ruefully)-You're right, sis.
I've just learned that I'm the fifth man
she engaged herself to last summer
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Not Entirely Usoless.

He hopeless, but seeking consolation}
Now that you have met Tom Walk
over, you have no further use for me.
She-Oh, yes have. I need you to
make him iealous!-Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Point for WheeiIn en-.

Wheclman-I believe III give up b.
cycling. am as careful as can be, but
every now and then some accident hap
pens This is the second time / have
been arrested and fined for running
into people.
Business Man-I'll tell you how to
manage. Just you get a job as bill col
lector. Everybody'll dodge you then
N. Y. Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

She-Has she treated you falsely and
broken off the engagement?
Re-No; that's the trouble. She
keeps her engagements-aR Of shem
you know. -Jud9e.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Dressed In Style.

Western Stage Robber-Hold up "
hands!
Scared Passengers-Yes,y yes. yes. Of
course.
Robber (gallantly) - Beg pardinR,
lady; you needn't hold yours up Put
'em down again
Lady-My hands are not up Those
are my shoulder puffs--N Y Weekly
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

McReady-How long a run did You
have in Schenectady?
Keane-Oh, just from the hotel to
the station.-JudRe.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
No Weakness There

Snively-Old Mr.. Gildersleeve always
strikes me as a very weak man.
Snodgrass-You are mistaken. He
carries life insurance amounting to
$3.50. 000.-Philadelphia Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Voice from the well)-HIpl
Sheehan-Is amy wan down thereq
Voice-Oi am!
Sheehan-Pfwhat's yure name?
Voice-Halloran!
Sheehan-Well. Halloran, yez musty
fell mile t. mex hole like thot in tn
ground phin yez shtruck.-Judge.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
"Comradosi Comradosi

"Comradesi Comradesr'-be sang In the eve,
tide
The lights were low-l dealt him blow,
And he died right by my side.'
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
A New Industry.

Frances - A case where marriage
seems to be failure.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Another Case.

Frances-Is it that tiresome Mr.. Co.
bait, with his everlasting gable on art?
Laura (hotly)-I think he amounts to
a good deall lie is quite welded to his
art.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
STILL IN 1T.

Bill Guthrie Say, mister, what's the
name of this yer town?
Mr.. jackson Park-This is Chicago.
Bill Guthrie-Chicago yet? A man
told me two days ago l was in Chicago.
and I've been drivin' right along.
Mr.. jackson Park-That's right
p,,ol
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24

Mrs. Trapicr (by her third)-Oh, l
will manage him somehow. used to
be snake charmer before my mar
riage.-Brooklyn Citizen.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
A Sad End.

allows that black and tan dog OF
yours?''
Dead"
"Dead?"
Eyes Swallowed q bunch Of watch
keys and they wound him up."-Brook-
lyn Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-12-24
Will Wind Him Around Some Way.

Mrs. Chinn-So you are going to mar
ry Mr.. James? Why, he is regular
reptile. OF course he is rich, but don't
see how you will ever get along with