The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-07-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Lies at deaths door-The obituary.
Makes noise enough for two-Twins.
Going the rouuds-The man climbing
I ladder.
A bird in the hand is not worth two
Dn a bonnet.-Lge.
Shadows of great city Inspector
Byrne's men.-LJe.
OF course fisherman knows what his
net income is.-LO1eU Courier.
One of the arbarisms-Toasting
ladies' in hot weather. Chicago LiqM.
The West Point cadet defines kiss as
report at headquarters. s.--DotroH Free
Press.
After all, tuning fork is merely n
kind of pitch fork.-Binghamton RepuJ-
lican.
The Gallant (humbly)-'I am not
wealthy, Miss Lauras but l -" The
Beauty-"That will do, Mr.. Golightly,
MOI "-Puck.
Seaside landlords are preparing to get
your surplus money if it takes all
summer.
If we had microscopic eyes, beauty
would not be skin deep.-PttSburg
Dispatch.
Take lesson from the strawberry
box. 1t is never FULL Wessfeld (M J)
Standard.
A man whose soul is narrowed is not
necessarily cultured individual. .-Bos-
ton Herald.
About the poorest occupation you can
find is to sit down and admire yourself.
RAMS Horn.
Great men are only ordinary men with
their hair combed and their faces washed.
-Atcdison Globe.
The best method of keeping books
Don't let your friends know you have
any.--B0St0n Post.
The world would be much better than
1t is if men would live up to their obitua-
ries.-- Cape Cod Item.
There is one lucky thing about spoiled
children-we never have them in our own
family.-Elmira Gazette.
The angler first lies in wait for his
catch, and then lies in weight Of his
ch.-HdrrisJurg Telegram.
The man who talks in his sleep is not
as much of nuisance as the man who
sleeps in his tallS.-BostoD Courier.
Men would be very wise if they could
only learn as much as their boys think
they could teach them.-I'am's H0rH.
The baseball umpire hasn't much of a
reputation as a duelist, although he is al
ways calling men out.-Elmiyu Gasette.
What a wheelman most breads is ris-
ing ground, especially the kind that rises
up and strikes him On the top of the head.
Detroit Free Press.
If you want thing well done, do it
yourself generally; but when it comes
to sewing on button you had better
ask your wife.-Somer0ilie Journal.
Society Note; The groom's present to
the bride was handsome diamond
brooch, besides many other beautiful
things in cut glass. Eimira Gdzctte.
One of DIR. Howard Crosbys charac-
teristlc puns was his Translation Of "In
VINO NcGllaS, WHICH ne Lu9llsucu rs
"Brandy peaches. '-NelO Korb Ladepead-
eHt.
"MY social instincts are always very
strong" said the policeman. at gives
me intense satisfaction to meet some
good clubable fellow. - Washington
Post.
Smith was about to die, and was mad
about it. "Let me place your head
lower ON the pillow, dear" said Mrs.
Smith, gently. "Soy" said Mr. Smith,
family, ''who's doing this dying, you or
If"-Judge.
A Matter of Taste: "Say, barber"
said the victim to the artist, "you are
using a different brand of shaving soap
than you used last week. "Why do YOU
think sol' 'It tastes different "-NeO
York. Rtc0rier.
al haven't had an outing for two
years. complained Mrs. JaYsmith.
"That's too bad, replied her husband
sympathetcally. "Ill look at the adj
yertisments aud see if there isn't free
excursion To a sale Of lots you eau 80 to
to day. - Wasp.