St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-12-26
SUNRISE SIGNALS.
cHILnr HAnIEr.s snccrss

After many. many aOns had rolled over
| this great and extremely giobular sphere.
after the earth had passed safely through the
Archaic, Eoeene Paleozoic Glacial, Mesozoic,
| Tertiary, QurternaTy. Pliocene. Senorian
and Silurian periods, ChIlde Hamlet was
born. The babe throve with a thrive far
above the ordinary. and in process of time
waxed-not only his moustacne-but in phys
| ical strength. Even at the tender age of six
! months the innate precocity of the Chiide
| was such that it would lie and breathe as
naturally as less distinguished organic spe-
cies of the genus homo
But there eventually came a period when
| Chiide Hamlet determined to throw off all
restraint and make ST. Paul howl-that is,
the dramatic portion of St. Paul, and incl
dentally, the Northwest. Thereupon every
body stood back and gave the young disciple
of Thespis q chance.
Il will become, he said passionately, Il
will become as great and powerful as l am
| good, pure and beautiful
Then all the people retreated a few more
| PAGES to the rear determined to see how he
did it.
II will become the dramatic critic of the
! Northwest he added fervently. "orye may
pick me c-o-old corpse up from the literary
| arenar'
So, to more fully prepare himself for his
| III W OAh NJ hS StCuAtu pOSlllOu Us C4cIh Al u
! boot and shoe store, ana the days wore on.
From boot and shoe salesman to boom
| writer OF mphatic town sites is passablv
| long stride, but Childe Hamlet took ii with a
! single leap, From the pent-up Utica of the
| shoe store. amid the box toes patent feathers.
"toothpicks," plush slippers. waxed ends
and findings, the Chide gravitated naturally
enough into fake writing, and from this I'M
| congenial employment a step further led him
into the chair of assistant telegraph chopper
| on morning daily, and two weeks assid-
uous toll at this work completed his Journal
| istic education. The literary century plant
was about to blossom. All the people now
moved their chairs up nearer to get a good
| look at it.
With the end in view of becoming the
/ acknowledged dramatic censor of every
| theatrical combination on the circuit west of
! Chicago and north of ST. Louis Childe Ham
| let daily and patiently indited his billboard
| philosophy and 'Among-the modern-stellar-
| attractions style of dramatic review. In
| dustriously he plodded on, on, deeper and
! deeper into the theatrical jungle of an I'M
discovered country. He became the Emin
| Pasna of Thespian research. One bright
autumn afternoon, he walked with pale.
| trembling limbs into the presence OF his
managing editor and gasped, Eureka" In
one hand he carried screed a couple of col
umns long and thirteen ems plea wide.
| something on the drammer.' said Chlde
Hamlet hOarsely.
ION the drawmah. eh:" answered the man.
aging editor languidly; it's good, very good
indeed
But, sir. You have not vet perused it,
| What sharply replied the managing
editor, do you want me 10 read it and inyol-
UNFAIRLY reverse my present opinion?"
''Oh no. SIR answered Childe Hamlet.
Far from it. want you to read it ana be-
| come paralyzed with admiration. Nothing
snort of such tribute can reward me for long
weeks of arduous study in your own noble
| school of modern journalism-my own dear
| journalistic alma mater.
Then Childe Hamlet swept haughtily from
! the room and buried himself in thought.
| ''Shades of William Archer, Nym Crinkle,
| Willie Winter, Bronson Howard ct al, what
have we here ?" said the managing editor,
cautiously unfolding the copy
Then he read on. on, far into the night,
while the cool breeze, up fresh from the ele-
| vator shafts, soughed ard moaned through
! the tasselated corridors. Then he turned 10
his desk and thus reviewed the review:
In another part of this paper will be found
notable article on The American Drama"
It's notable IN the fact that. with slight
elsion. it would be found applicable to the
Greek, Russian, Icelandic. Hindu, Chinese
| or New Jersian drama. 1t has not the con-
! tinuity of criticisms By Nym CrinKle or
Willie Winter, but it contains more words. 1t
may lack the keen analysis of individual
talent and artistic technique possessed by
| William Archer, but it has a great many
more adjectives to the square inch. 1t fails
! to present the salient features, good or bad,
| of modern dramatic attractions with the
/ eI-, gl,F k,re L.
hibits the elasticity of the English language
in circhnga subject withouttouching single
vital point. 1t awakens no respon-
sive interest in the reader, but it
| is honeycOmbed with platitudes. 1t
| skillfully avoids trehching upon direct
criticism of acknowledged errors of dram
attic construction, but it falls down and steps
on its syntax. 1t dwells upon the 'formi-
dable impression" made by certain popular
tragedienne. but neglects to accompany the
word formidable into its Websterian def
milton: Formidable-Exciting fear or appre-
| henson; fmpreSsing dread: adapted to ex-
| cite fear and deter approach.
1T does not mean anything. ana therefore
is perfectly harmless. For this reason it can
be carried home and read TO the youngest
child in the household-the younger the bet
| ter
Yesterday the citizens of ST. Paul enjoyed
| one days relief from the intolerable mo-
notony of the quarter chimes on the city hall
| CLOCK. Whether or not this was in the nature
of a Christmas present from the city fathers
is not known, but at any rate, it was duly
appreciated.
-
James Cord on Bennett is hObnobbing with
Bismarck at Freiderichsruhe. They doubt
less have a good time explaining to each
other the one how he worked himself out of
| diplomacy, the other how he managed to
worm himself outside of journalism
| -
1t is to be sincerely hoped that young Ed
ward NJ. Field enjoyed the insanity verdict
that he found in his Christmas stocking. The
| moral is obvious-that the man shrewd enough
to sequestsr S200O.000 is sufficiently coy to do
| the lunatic act to the queens taste.