davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1891-06-02


consisting of
: NEW SMOKING CARS
: '''l PALACE s 5%s CARS, S.. :. &
running through, without change between
ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY,
ST LOUIS AND CHICAGO,
KANSAS CITY AND CHICAGO,
DENVER AND CHICAGO,
Also new and superb
PULLMAN PARLOR BUFFET CARS
on day trains,
and new and unequalled =
PULLMAN COMPARTMENT SLEEPING CARS
on night trains - -
=. BETWEEN ST LOUIS Ann t'FTpAGo. -
The best and surest connections are made in
Union Depots in ST. Louis East st; Louis, Kan
sas City, Chicago and Bloomington.
Ask your own Home Ticket Agent for tickets
via the Chicago 81 Alton Railroad, aud thus
cure the lowest rates the quickest time and the
best accommodations,
Chicago&AIton r. r. Ticket Q ffIces:
St. Lous-216 North Broadway, near olive
Street and I'm ON Depot.
East St. Louis-Reay Depot.
Kansas City-Sl4 Main Street lO3S Union
Avenue (opposite), and Union Depot.
ChicagoL19 South Clark Street, and West
Side Union Depot
Information as to rates, time. connections,
ETC., will be chcerfully furnished on'application
to D. BOWES,
Genl Western Passenger Agent,
216 North Broadway, st, Louis, Mo.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
Pen Scored a Point.

1t was the occasion OF Jacks third cell after
the ratification of the engagement. says New
York Life, that Pen entered into the parlor with
look OF moderate perturbation on her pretty
face. After the usual formalities OF meet
ing between lovers had been concluded and the
single chair had been properly placed in use,
Penelope dropped her head on his manly bosom
aud sighed. A thrill OF delight went through
jacks heart when he observed this.
What is II, PenY' he asked tenderly,
20, am SO unhappy" she replied.
Tell me what it Is, - he pleaded.
Its that miserable Mary Toliver," she
answered.
what has she done, dariingg"
ut isn't anything that she has done-it's
something that she has said.
She ought TO be ashamed of herself. What
did she say?"
20, don't like to repeat it. 1T will make you
angry"
"You must tell me, Pen; you ought to-it's
your duty"
"Well-she-she-said that she didn't believe
you loved me-"
"why should that bother your You know
that do"
But want her TO know that you do"
we doY" ',- "''''' 0N1
well. 1 want you to be jealous OF me-"
How can l? You don't give me any reason
to be-"
II don't want you to be real jealous of me
only make believe Jealous
We'll, what 1 can make believe Jealous
abouts"
"Well, don't know, but guess we can fix
it. think can get one of the boys to take me
somewhere, and you can pretend that you are
very angry"
"All right" he laughed. "You go ahead and
make the arrangements.
Well. don't care where go, but think I'll
get Dick Dashing to take me to the opera. May
be he won't. though"
I'll ask him to.
"Oh, no, no; you must not say word to him
| about it. You must pretend to be too angry I"
"All right, sweetheart" And 30 Jack sue
ceeded in bringing the smiles back TO PENS
| pretty face. In fact. she was smiling even
after he had kissed her goodby and gone, and
| she smiled most when she read again Dick
| Deshipg's invitation, which she had received
| that morning to go to the opera.
Il guess did that very cleverly for young
| girl, Pen thought TO herself, smiling.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
BRIGHT BITS.

"IT's biting wind, said Slithers.
Yes" replied Slathers. 81 know IL is. was
right In the teeth of the gale. "-IVGshin0ton
Star.
The man who goes into the bee culture pusi-
ness may not naturally be energetic, but he is
bound to keep things neutrality-suspicious.
american
Mrs. S.-They say man never marries his
first love.
Her Hubby.-He can't. 1t would be poly gamy.
RuhnH Folks.
MN. sBENEDIcK-Yill ycu be my wifei
Miss Beatrice-Yes
Mr. Renedick-O, Miss Beatrice, this is 30 sud
deni Give me time to reconsider. -Hdrper's
Bdzar.
A PEssIMIsr was tired of life.
III some one came to strike me dead,
wouldn't move to help myself;
This earth is such bore" he said.
Just then fly liz on bis nose.
"Confound the fiesl They do beat ALL"
And the life-tired man didn't rest until
81 He'd smashed that buzzer 'gainst the wall
Is- Philadelphia Times.
Both IN LucK-Uncle-Tom, you are incor-
rigibls You do nothing but spend money. 1
am glad you are the only nephew I've got.
Nephew-That's what say. We are both in
luck.-Te1os Siftings
scExE.--A family boarding house. Time:
Sunday eyening-"You are not eating any
chicken, MIR. Lemachin,
mo, madame, thanks: never work on Sun
days. Mosque de FER
OFFICER O'TooLE-Let me sell You a ticket
to the grand ball Of the Sons of ST. Patrick.
William Mann-Any special inducement?
Officer O'Toole-Yes; you needn't attend If
you don't want to.--PucE.
PRIMus-You drink too much. aren't you
afraid you may transmit craving for liquor to
your childrenY
Secundus-Yes-andy you see don't want to
transmit IL unsatished.-LiJe.
THERE'S pretty maiden over the way
Who smiles when she sees me here at work,
And she keeps me hard at it from morning till
night,
For with such monitor how can shirk.
She has golden hair and pearly teeth;
Her eyes are the shade Of the heavens own
blue.
Don't think I'm 10 danger for confess
l am most fifty; she isn't two
-Nep York Herdld.
Miss PEARL WHIrE-I wish you to paint my
portrait
Dobhins-Tm sorry, ma am, but can't do it.
Miss Pearl White-Why not
Dobbins-I never copy other paintings.-Cin-
cfnnGtG Commercial Gazette.
GRooER-Have you any references, young
mau?
Applicant for job US saIesmen)-No. sir, but
can tie up a package of sugar with a knot
that the customer can't unite In half an hour.
He got the job.-ChicG0o Tribune.
BUSY Wall street broker went to church
Sunday. First time IN years. He curied up in
a comfortable corner and began to dream of
stocks. The minister took his place in the pull
pit. .The Lord is risen,' he said. in full voice.
forth Life
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
1ndicatlons Now Fnvor. 1pgalls.

Indications Now Favor. Ingalls,
When the last state election closed in
Kansas there was not a man with I'm the
boundaries OF that great corn growing CON-
monwealth who was so cordially hated
even within the ranks of his own party as
John J. IngaHA
During the months Immediately follow
! ing the most active of his enemies
busted themselves in electing to
the highest offices men so grossly
Incompetent that they have since
occupied the attention Of their constituents
and the country chiefly by making them
selves very ridiculous.
Meanwhile the astuts and angular Mr..
ingalls, did not fan the flames OF popular
disapproval. With a degree OF meekness
worthy Of a pastoral philosopher he took his
medicine like a little pewter soldier and de-
voted the interval of his retirement princi-
pally to propagating potatoes.
Anon he would break ut somewhere in
one of his bright and cratic TRADES against
the recognized order of things in general
that appealed to the peculiar weakness of
the Kansans and made them proud of their
cast-of public servant. In this way active
luminosity gradually lapsed into indefinite
dislike that was not unmixed with secret
admiration.
Yet when Senator Plumb suddenly died
nobody in the state seemed TO think that
Ingalls, had ghost of a chance on account
of bis blunt refusal to aid or countenance
the new order of things in any way.
After Col. Anthony declared himself out
Of the calculation attention Immediately
| conferred upon r W. Perkins because he is
an ex-congressman and lives in the district in
which Gov. Humphrey is generally supposed
70 contemplate a race for congress next fall.
Therefore the opinion prevailed that the gov
ernor would like TO remove a possible op-
ponent by giving him the temporary senate
rial appointment
But such howl went up from party enc
mics Of Perkins that the governor could not
afford 70 antagonize that he was forced to
abandon all thought Of removing personal
opponent from his own path.
Beyond the ex-congressman there Is no
one TO be thought of except Supreme Judge
Simpson and Editor Hudson. They are
both so influential and so bitterly antagonis-
tic that there is little chance that the very
pacific governor would venture to appoint
either for fear OF offending the other.
Meanwhile Ingalls, has not said a word
about the matter. Apparently he took no
interest in it. Consequently q strong sentl-
ment In favor Of the iridescent statesman
is developing. Should he get in by appoint
ment the chances are that he will manage
20 ~ 10 g.
bring about a revulsion of feeling in his
favor and capture the seat by election.
Otherwise he will again find himself ex-
ploring the intangible intrioacies of an allur-
ingly "irideecent dream"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
MEDICAL.
MEDICAL.
HEALTH Is WEALTH

hzzx, 9 guaranteed specinc for HyS,ass IA
ness, Conyulsions, Fits. Nervous Se,,.. Ilx
heeaAcne Nervous Prostration caused by a. SO
o. s.Gono os so6ocoo Wakefuness Mental rs se
sanity and Leading TO misery decay ana IN IN IN
Premaeure Old Age, Barrenness, Loss Of ppe ostn
N either ssx: Involuntary Losses and sperDw.sss
s caosea p r-exerton Of the brain sss
one month 5 treatment. 81 90 box. or sin
fer IS - sent by mail PREPAID on receirt =, ooxee
~ WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES prce.
- oS S any CASE With each order received hv
a " LOT six boxes, accompanied with Al al -
.n len. send the purchaser our written gTIarantas
70 refund the money if the treatment d. -
HEfnT G Epei;c guarantees issued only by rEH
Pox 6daan9g, tricky Heat use Borscine ToSIss
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
iNDB5 TO NEW ADVBRRISBMBNTS

SPECIAL NoTIcEs-New Year for Ladies. H
doganss Foot Ball, FaIk Clothing Company;
AS to Bills Against British Steamship Rosneath;
Cows Twicksnhsm Dairy. Etc. for Rent
AUCTION SALEs-Grocery Store. by ]. J. OPP
penheim.
oUR GooDs-F alk Clothing Company.
PRIcEs FOR IcE-The Gorrie Manufacturing
Company.
Too Busy TAKING sTocK-Appel s. schaul
TWENTY Per- CENT. DTsCoUEr-B. II. Levy &
Bro.
AMusExExrs-"An the Comforts OF Home"
ct the Theeter Jan. 1 and 2
STEAMSHIP ScHEDULK-General Transatlantic
Company.
THE ADvANTAeEs-The Savannah Carriage
and WAGON Company.
CHOICE PREsERvEs-A, N. & Q. W. West
CAsH-Collat's.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted; Employment Wantsd; Fos Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
The ReveI Of the Circus Man.

''Yes. we're back again." be sighed to the
New York Commercial as he gnawed one Of the
angles on Of gutta percha sandwich. land. If
anybody should ask you. we left a Dutchman
down In Texas who WASH expected 70 live when
we pulled stakes."
He was an ancient circus man and With a
small but select party OF his friends was occu-
pying q table In one OF the strictly theatrical
square.
What did the Dutchman have to do with
~" be continued, in response TO a query from
the serio-comic that sat beside him "Weli,
just about everything When Quirk was making
up the show he left the band TO the last, so we
PICKED EN- ap on the jump. SO to speak. katz-
neyer-that was the Dutchman's name-was
signed about an hour before we started and
only just caught the boat.
We sailed out of this town with one Of the
pest onertng shows that ever rustled sawdust
IL was an all round corker, and we had
some acts that Barnum couldn't beat so it
didn't surprise us when we started in at GAL
weston with rip STAYING good business, and
Kept IL up right along for three straight weeks.
We knocked out everything that came against
US, and Quirk began to think of adding freak
exhibit and taking the whole show over to Aus
tralla next season.
zone night In the jayest kind of Texas
town, Katzmeyer came into the mems dressing
tent with long parcel under his arm and a
smile like cash In a pie.
p" I my instroomint brake by accidence,' he
SAID, but hat alretty yet anoder Ply Chin
mlny It vas bargains also, too and waving
the parcel Ia triumph he waited out to get
ready for the grand entree.
Half an hour later Eddie Thomas Skinned
up the rope 20 do his flying trapeZe act, and as
ne was standing on the bar, saw him look into
the bandstaDd and grow pale. Three minutes
arterward he missed turn, fell, and broke
couple of Ribs
AS we were carrying him out of the ring he
whispered to me: Bill, that Dutchman's got q
yellow clarionet;' and l said to him: Eddie
wen bust up In q week. When l told Quirk
about it he nearly had fit FOR an out-and-
out hoodoo you can't beat yellow clarionet
In ten years, and my estimate of q week was
too liberal by far. The next three days was
one steady procession Of accidents and bad
business, and though we tried our darndest to
get that clarionet away from him, the Dutch
man couldn't be fooled into giving It up On
the fourth day cyclone wrecked the tent,
killed half of the animals and stopped the show
for good.
"Quirk called us together at the hotel, told US
the jig was up and gave us our fare home-all
except Katzmeyer.
"'You busted my show with that yellow
agony pipe of yours, he said to him. and now
you can get back on skates for all care Then
we took Katzmeyer out on the street and
pounded him with his clarionet until some Sal
walton Army guys swept him together and car
ried him away.
II tell you it never failed yet--one Of them
lnst[uments III smash up circus quicker than
a collision!"
And the waiter was requested to fill EN- I'D
again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
An Epidemic of Cranks.

The number Of dangerous cranks in the
large cities of this country is getting to be
alarmiugly large since the attempt to kill
Russell Sage with q dynamite bomb. On
Monday our dispatches contained an &C.
count of visit a young German made to
the home Of Cornelius Vanderbilt for the
purpose, as he said, Of getting Mr. Wander
bilt's brains His intention was to find out
In what respect the brains of a man who
had accumulated millions of dollars differed
from the brains of himself who had scarce
ly enough money 10 keep him from starry
ing. 1t is probable, however, that he for
got that II he submitted his own brains for
analysis he would have no use for the infor-
nation be sought.
On last Saturday q crank appeared at the
door of ths private Office of George W =.
Childs. the proprietor of the Philadelphia
Ledger, and demanded permission to see
him. When asked the nature of his bust
ness he said that he intended to kill Mr..
Childs. Why he wanted 10 kill Mr. Childs
he did not cay. A number of other in
stances of cranks threatening the lives of
rich men have occurred within the last two
or three weeks.
The cranks are after the millionaires.
They do not appear to trouble any other
class of people They become insane,
doubtless, by hrooding over their own want
of money and envying those more fortu-
nate than themselves in accommodating
wealth. Until the crank epidemic subsidies
the millionaires will have to be careful
about admitting strangers to their private
offices. The cranks are more to be feared
than the grip, though the latter is a rather
dangerous enemy and those who are wise
will guard against it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30

Owing to an accident sleeper had to be
side-tracked at an Ohio town called
Geneva on Christmas day. Such an I'm
usual event excited the aspirations and en-
terprise of local thief to the adventure Of
foraging for Christmas booty. Consequently
passenger was suddenly awakened by the
difficulty the thief had in pulling bis
clothes out of the berth. These were all the
clothes the passenger had with him, and
contained all of his money as well. There
fore he jumped out without stopping to
consider that he had on only night robe,
and dashed after that thief for oil
he was worth. Naturally he made quite
circus as he whizzed through the prin-
cipal streets of the town in his scant garb.
But he managed to give that thief such hot
chase that ne dropped the clothes and fled
still faster. All that the traveller wanted
was then accomplished. So he picked up his
raiment and calmly returned to the car to
dress. Stealing a mans clothes from him
at Christmas would certainly be mean
trick. But that energetic American citizen
was evidently determined not to lose his if
he had to chase that rogue into the next
county
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
Rewards to Promote Religion

Some Of the progressive" ministers of
the gospel are now becoming almost as en-
terprisiug In the ingenuity of their de-
vices to entice and collar the errant sinner
as the agricultural fairs and dime museums
are about hustling for the nimble penny Of
the aimleSsly desultory wayfarer though a
fool or otherwise debilitated in rainment
or afflicted with impediments of character.
Even the far-away frontier newspapers
| are gaping their typographical eyes wide
open and literally bowling their astonish-
ment at the grave proposition of a New
York minister that the churches should en-
ter into open cut-rate competition with the
saloons and put in billiard and pool tables
in the church Easements ito attract the
indifferent to Christ"
Undoubtedly the billiard tables would
have a strong tendency "to attract the In
! different to Christ" Just as the shresyd
dominic predicts But the chances are that
after the game was over they would remain
| just as indifferent 10 Christ" as ever.
Therefore the question would still remain
wide open as to whether they went there
because the church was becoming more ems
Pertaining with pool than with preaching or
whether they did not merely go there to
play pool in spite of the fact that the game
was in house presumably built for religious
| worship.
Following the idea little further il the
enterprising divine should provide jug of
good upple for those who are willing to
follow him on such hilarious terms he
would probably very soon collect all the
rum-soaked aud battered old buns within a
radius Of 5hirty-nine adjacent counties in
an almost endless procession of Unsuitable
thirst. But they would not be so very eager
after the Lord. They'd be simply keeping
step with the smell Of that whisky. They
would follow that anywhere.
Chrome inducements cannot be relied
upon as an accurate measure of the actual
merit or popularity of any article offered
for public approval.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30

Even the czar's own brother is apparently
not safe against the crafty designs of the
official thieves of Russia. Because he at
tempted to suppress the pilfering of the
charity funds forwarded TO the distre ssed
peasants of that empire the pecuIative off,
cials have combined to have him removed
and exiled under the plea that he is arro-
eating to himself powers that belong only
to the emperor. Therefore the charitable
people of the world will probably be much
less liberal than they would be under differ
enc circumstances. They wish 30 help the
deserving poor. At the sans time they
have no desire TO contribute to the support of
the brutally dishonest barbarians who gen
orally occupy the local official positions in
Russia and absorb everything they eau get
their crafty hands upon. Such trihes as
rightfu ownership never bother them in
the least.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30

Finding that the plausible Oriental bluff
does not work with the sceptical Caucas-
sian the Chinese government has finally
thrown off pretensions and dilatory pro-
ceedings and promised to pay up for the
damage done to Europeans by the Mon
golian outlaws. In some instances the In
demnlty has been paid. 1t amounted to
something like 100000. As the Chinese do
not like to give up their cash this expe-
rience may terminate such outrages.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
FLAYoRINe KxTRAcrs,
Damaged.

The grocer who sells a cheap
and inferior favoring extract
and it proves unsatisfactory
to his customers, the blame
comes on him and his trade
is damaged. The Price Fla
voring Extract Company
has the largest and most
complete laboratory in the
world for the manufacture of
DR.. Prices Delicious Flavor
ing Extracts. . These ffavors
have secured a great reputa-
ton for their perfect purity,
great strength and fine flavor.
Every person who has used
DR.. Prices Extract of Lemon
Vanilla or Orange, knows
that they are perfectly relia-
bic, and table delicacies are
never spoiled by their use.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
snsI Pill Small Doe Snail sEls

Doctors disagree. They
have to. There are differ
ences of opinion among the
best; there will be so long
as knowledge is incomplete.
But there is one subject
on which all physicians are
completely in accord, and
that is the value of cod-liver
oil in consumption and scro-
fula, and many other condi-
tons in which the loss of fat
is involved. And cod-liver
oil has its greatest usefulness
in SCOTS Emulsion.
There is an interesting
book on the subject; sent free.
,ScoTT & BOVINE, Chemists, Isa South thAvenue.
New York.
Your druggist keeps SCOTS Emulsion Of cod-iver
oil--all druggists everywhere do. 81.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
Registered at tie POsfo6sos in Savannah


The MORNING NEws is published every day in
the year, and is served to subscribers in the
city at IS cents O week. 81 90 a month, IS 90 fOl
ssx months and SO 90 for one year.
The MoRNINe News, by mai, one month,
81 %; three months, 81 20; six months, IS co.
one year, $40 90.
The MORNING News, By nldf, six times a week
without Sunday issuel, three months, 81 co.
six months. g. 90; one year, s. co.
The MORNING News, Tri-Weekly, Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
DAYS and Saturdays. three months, 81 rs; six
months, 60 so; one year, 80 90.
The SUNDAY NEWS. bg mail. one year, g %
The WEEKLY NEWS. bV mail. one year, 81 -
subscriptions pay able in advance. Remit by
xoostal order, check OF registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mail at risk OF senders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
ssMoRNINa NEWS, Savannah. Ga.
Transient advertisements, other than special
column, local or reading notices. ADJUSTMENTS
and cheap or want column, 10 cents line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-eqnal to one
inch space In Depths the standard OF meas
urernent Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business Office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
Getting Divorces With a Glow

From the 81. Futl Globe. und.l.
The South Dakota divorces are pronounced
equal to any in the market, and are attracting
investors from all over the country. A WASH
ington attorney, @. A. Snow. and his amiable
late wife relate a pleasant experience in their
case. They came out to Sioux Falls together for
a divorce, and after tenderly and affectionately
kissing each other good-by he returned and she
remained to complete the arrangements to
secure their mutual freedom and felicity,
Having obtained the divorce she also returned
10 Washington 20 be a social star and the pride
Of her late partner. The Chicago divorces do
not afford this genial glow,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30
Shipping Drifting Southwark.

From the Kansas City Journal CRep.l
II New Orleans wishes to rise to that DOM.
mercial importance TO which her position at
the mouth Of the great river draining the rich
est valley In the world entities her she must
erect more elevators and increase her facilities
for handling grain. The blockade at that port,
while it shows a remarkable rush of business Il
also an evidence that the west is beginning to
understand the advantages Of shipping by the
shortest route 70 tidewater. To hold the trade
New Orleans must be prepared to take care Of
il when it comes.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-30

Mrs. Charles T. johnson of Wyandotte,
Kan, is IN trouble. She led several hun
dred people to believe that the world would
come to an end at noon Dec IS, and as the
world still exists they are bothering her for
an explanation. But she does not explain
After awhile probably those good people
who put faith in such predictions will begin
TO think that they are not endowed with a
very large measure Of common sense.