Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-19

rest heavier. heep In Lne croWus Wnetnel
joyous or sad. Hands are closer, hearts are
nearer, ears are sharper, tears are fewer
laughs are louder there, you know.
| A TIGHT hole-The speak-easy.
| THE hens of the snowbound lands will
soon be scratching gravel
INSECT powder is the only kind used by
| good housewives.
INFANTS always win the toss in well
regulated households.
PATIENCE is overtaxed, as we'll as real
estate, by the overthrow of the street act.
The Prohibitionists can justly claim the
honor of inaugurating the crusade against
tights.
FEAR ofttimes makes heroes and danger
frequently develops towards.
WOMEN who depend solely upon outward
appearances should exercise care in handling
their skirts.
YoLK that galls-The one in the bad egg.
HOUSE hunters who do not scan the toilet
lists, nor visit the real estate offices. nor walk
around and scan the placards on the houses, are
looking for letter that will never come.
THE horse that trots in 2:20 goes like sixty
BLACK bass can be caught in the choirs of
colored churches.
In New Orleans Justice travels with a
leaden bullet.
THE Supreme Court decision has knocked
the single tax men here silly for the nonce. 1t
looks like double or treble tax now.
JUDGING from the increase in divorces,
there are more victims than benefciaries in the
marriage business.
PERFUMERs would not get along very
well if they believed one hundred scents were
worth only one dollar.
If women would study the science of
housekeeping instead of some OF the other
sciences there would not be SO many dyspeptics
in the world.
THE approach of the house-cleaning sea-
son guarantees that more paper money will
soon be in circulation.
TENNYsoN is thinking about writing a
song for the Worlds Fair. He'll not write it
for a song, though.
A REVENUE cutter-The moonshiner.
SOME tin TOP men are to be found on all
the ships.
THE other day ingalls, poked fun at
England's navy. One of the fleet has sunk
ship in collision, which reverses the American
method. Our ships have collided with mud
scows, and the scows swan while the ships
sank.
CIVIL servants are about as hard to secure
as civil service.
GIRLS cannot wear window sashes, but
they can fill them to perfection during a
parade.
ALWAYS up in arms-Babies, heaven
bless them.
The granger statesmen seem to be out for
revenue only.
WHEN is horse like doctor2 When
its charger. of course.
The New York Evening World printed
its st. Patrick's Day issue on bright green
paper. As the World is desirous OF pleasing
all, its issue of July IL be looked for printed
on a vivid orange -colored sheet.
A BAREFACED fraud-A beardless bunko
steerer.
A MAN can always find his home, but
some fail to find the keyhole after they get
there.
DOCTORS frequently present bill for at
tending a dead person. An autopsy costs
money, you know. Il
THE fellow who has the tin is a rattlinc
good fellow in the estimation of the sycophant.
TANK plays have been successfully pro-
duced on the oil exchanges.
NEW ORLEANS justice is trife swifter |
than the Jersey article.
THE sweating system is permissible in
the Turkish bathrooms.
PUBLIC opinion that indorses the over
throw of law and order will overthrow Gov |
ernment
ENGLAND's peers are rum lot. Over |
l50 own gin mills. WILLIE WINKLE.
BILLS REGULATING CAPITAL
Tptr In he