The record-union., 1891-02-08

CAL, FEPR
them till fall, and the goslings would
then be worth 81 apiece, which would be
~, and the two old ones 81. which would
make $40, which is the judgment of the
court"
Judge Hoar was trying a case at New
Bedford. where the witnesses all bore the
| name OF Cash, and all appeared badly on
the witness stand. As the District Attor-
| Cash." the judge leaned forward and
| said: II suppose you call your witnesses
Cash because they are no credit to any
body"
| Another good story is told of Mr.. Hoar
before he was raised to the bench. A case
was once given to jury in which he had
been one OF the advocates, and the jury
| was told to retire with the Sheriff and
make up verdict. When the officer
reached the jury-room he found he had
but eleven jurymen. Returning to the
courtroom he found the twelfth man
Slttlng compoSedly in his seat, and told
him he must go out with his associates
and help make up the verdict. His reply
was: My verdict is already made up,
squire. Hoar says it is so and SO, and it
mast be So"
! A fugitive from justice once boasted
that he was so well liked by all who
knew him that he never left any place
without reward being offered for his
return.
Two Irishmen were walking under the
! glbbet OF Newgate. Looking up at it one
OF them remarked: "Ah, Pat, where
| duty?"
"FaiN, Flanagan" said Pat, ''an' I'd
be walking London--all alone.'
"Now, sir" cried Mr.. Bagwig, fero-
ciously, "attend to me! Were you not in
difficulties few months ago?"
NO"
.'What, sir! Attend to my question. I
ask you again, and pray be careful in an
swerlng, for you are on your oath, need
hardly remind you. Were you not in
| d11ncultleS some months ago?'
No; not that I know Off
| Sir, do you pretend to tell this court
that you did not make composition
with your creditors a few months ago?'
A bright smile of intelligence spread
over the ingenious face OF the witness, as
! ne answered.:
"Oh |! ah! That's what you mean, is it !?
But you see it was my creditors who
We're IN difficulties, and not me.'',
Il wish you would pay little attention
to what am saying, sir,'' roared law
yer to an eXasperating witness.
Il am paying as little attention as I
can," was the calm reply.
Prisoner, luckily for you, YOU have
been found not guilty by the Jury. but
you know perfectly well you stole that
morse. You may as well tell the truth, as
no harm can happen to you now by a
confession, for you cannot be tried again.
Now, tell me, did you not steal that
| horse?"
well, my lord,r replied the man. "I
always thought / did until ! heard the
speech OF my counsel, but now begin to
think that didn't"
A very concise, verdict was that of a
coroner's jury in Idaho: 1--WE find that
the deceased came to his death by calling
Tom Watlings liar.'
There is grim humor about some of
Judge Lynch's executions. A bank
president in southwestern Texas made
away with all the funds under his charge
and then posted on the door of his institu-
ton, Bank suspended" That night he
was interviewed by number of deposit
tors, who left him hanging to a tree with
president suspended
Defendant-''Now, docthor, by vartue
OF your oath, didmt i say, XIII or,cure,
doctor, ~ give yoqa gninea2' and didn't
! you say. Kill or cure, III take it?'n
Doctor-''You did, and I agreed to the
bargain, and l want the guinea accord
| ingly."
! Defendant-"Now, docthor. by vartueof
your oath, answer this: Did you cure my
wife?'' r,f.
Doetor-No; she's dead. You know
that" t,ya
Defendant-''Th docthor, by vartue
OF your oath, answer this: Did you kill
my wife?'' ,fsus
Doctor-"No; she died of her Illness"
Defendant (triumphantly to the bench)
Your worship, see this. You heard
him tell our bargain; it was to kill or
cure. BY vartue of his oath he done
neither, and he axes his feel"
A prisoner who had been convicted Mt
least dozen timeswas placed at the bar.
Your honor, Iishonldl like to have my
case continued for.a week; my lawyer is
but you were captured with your
hand in a gentleman's pocket. What
can your counsel say in your defense?"
Precisely So,syour honor; that is what
L am curious to know"
Judge-"It would be more respectful to
the court, sir, if you would keep your
hands out OF your pockets. Why do you
do SO, sir?''
Defendant-"Ju ust for the novelty of the
thing, your honor"
| Judge-"Noyelty! What dye mean?,
Defendant-''Fact is, your honor, nv
attorney has had his hands in there SO
long, I'm tickled to death to get chance
| at them myself"
An action was not long ago brought
before Mr.. Justice Hawkins in England.
to recover the value of two casks of her
| rings, furnished many years before.
Why such long delay" asked the
Judge.
why" said the plaintiff, 'I again and
again, whenever l could find him, asked
| for payment, until at last he told me to 90
to the devil, upon which / thought it was
nighttime for me to come to your lord
ship"
| A strong point of a member of the bar
in neighboring State is his faculty OF
| getting the truth out of the witnesses.
The following is a sample of his system
| OF cross-eXamlnatton:
Are you married man?'
| IN o sir; l am a bachelor"
"Wlll you please tell the court and Jury
| how long you have been a bachelor and
what were the circumstances thatinduced
| you to become One?"
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