Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-11-17
THE MAN WHO EXPLAINED.
But His Explanations Were Not Gene
aIlv gatiafactorv.

But His Explanations Were Not Gener-
ally Satisfactory.
Some one who was going somewhere
with a parrot left the bird in his cage
on a seat in the waiting room of the
Erie depot for half an hour the other
afternoon. The lonely situation of Polly
was soon discovered by an oldish man
who had his personal effects tied up in a
bundle, and he took a seat beside the
cage. Nothing attracts attention sooner
than parrot This bird sat doing on
his perch, and his general appearance
was nothing to brag of, but he soon be-
gan to draw. A mild looking, middle
aged man approached with smile Of an
ticipation on his phiz and asked:
docs your parrot speak many wordsT
"Not very many" replied the other.
About all he can say is to call you
cheese faced idiot and inquire when you
are going to hang YOURSELF"
"Yes- ahem -yesT stammered the
mild looking man, and that finished him.
The next to approach was bustling,
matronly woman, who had been to the
information bureau.
"Ahl You have parrot, seei" she
exclaimed as she came to halt. "He's
not a very old birdT'
"Nom."
"Talk much?"
"Not so very much. About all he can
do is to ask you to pull down your vest,
wipe off your chin and cheese the
racket"
"Well, I'd wiring his neck if owned
him." she retorted, as she sailed away
with her head up.
The third comer's cheeks were orna-
mented with Burnsides and he wore
glasses. He was wandering about with
his hands clasped behind him, and it
was in an abstracted way that he stopped
and inquired:
"Is that talking parrotP
"Oh, yes"
"Isn't talking any just nowT'
mot just this minute, but he'll break
out pretty soon and want to know why
in Texas you make an ass of yourself by
wearing mutton chop whiskers. He's al
ways hated EN-"
HAS, ehp see. Curious bird" mum
bled the man as he headed for the other
end Of the room.
Three or four people now came up and
stopped to look, and passed on without !
making any inquiries; but then an old
man, limping with a sore foot and carry
ing an umbrella for cane, stopped Oh
his way to the water cooler to ask:
''Is that a regular parrot?"
"Of course"
"Whats he worth?"
"Fifty dollars"
"Humph Man must be q fool to pay
fifty dollars for rumpled up bird like
that! That's the price of two yearlings."
Cant help that. He's the greatest
talker in America"
"Is, eh? Seems to be purity dumb jest
now"
Hes sleepy. You just wait few
minutes, and he'll call you an old bow
legged, knock kneed, spindle shanlred
masher."
"He will, eh. If he does I'll jab him
with this umbrella"
"Yes, he'll tell you to go and soak
your head, pull in your teeth, belay
your jaw, stop winfing at the girls, pay
up your pew rent and let whisky alone"
He will, will he? If he does I'll light
on to you and lick you in two minutes.
don't allow nobody nor nothing to sass
and insult mel"
The old man talked in such high
pitched tones that a policeman came
over and took him away. The other
man also picked up his bundle and slid
out, and the parrot aroused himself. in
lulged in shake or two and cooked his
eye at one of the half dozen women
around and demanded:
"Who in blazes started this blooming
Did row anyhow?"-New York Evening
World.