Morning journal and courier., 1891-04-06
MODIFIED.

take in recapturing them.-Puck
 None of Them Got Away.-De Ruyter: What do you think of my little volume of fugitive verses.
 MOdifcation-'I declare, Franz. YOU make me angry all day long" But, pa. pa, the days are really very short, now. " -Fliegende Blatter
 The Correct Use.-Clergyman: Will you love, honor and cherish him, and, forsak- ing all others, cleave only unto himl
 Boston Bride-I shall-Puck
 ''Store robbed last night" ''You don't say. What was takemE' Nearly all In fact the only thing not disturbed was the watchman. ."-Philaielph Times.
 Miss Monde-I don't understand why Mir. Gadby goes 10 the opera. Indeeda Miss Monde-No. He studies so that one can hardly understand word he says Puck.
 First guest tat grand balD-Hark, isn't that the champagne popping in the supper room! Second guest-NO: I guess it's the young couples in the conservatory.-New York Weekly.
 ''I see that quite a number of our younger verse writers have taken to writ ing their songs in antique English
 That is quite an appropriate setting to their ideas. Pluck.
 Don't let Bronson write my obituary, '' said the dying man.
 ''Why notE" asked the editor
 e-knows-me-too too - well,'' gasped the othcr.-Munsey's Weekly
 A Matrimonial Venture Blinkers- Hello, Winkers. I hear you married 8 woman with an independent fortune Winkers (sadlyl-N-o, I married for tune with an independent woman.-New York Weekly.
 Featherstone lwaiting for Ringway to dress)-I see you are improving. old man A year ago you wore a ready made tie, and now you tie it yourself. I wonder where you will be next year Ringway Edespsr- atelyl-I shall probably be still tying it Clothier and Furnishey
 Mir Hyde-Is there any money in writ MT. ROndo-Well there's more than there used to be.
 MT Hyde-How so.
 Mir. Rondo-There has been n cut of five | cents thousand in the price of envelopes. Smith, Gray & Co.'S. Monthly. Where the Blow was Heaviest.-Miss Palisade--I have just heard that youl brother has lost two of his fingers am so sorry, and the pain must have been | frightful. Miss Braiuy (from Boston, Oh, the pain was nothing, but just think | (sobbingl he won't be able to tie his oyvr neckties any more.-Clothier and Fur. nisher.
 New Servant-There is one thing don't | like in this honse
 | Mrs. Gayboy-Whatst that. | Servant Your husband: he alway. chucks me under the ehin and calls me hi, pet.
 Mrs. Gayboy-You must not pay an, attention to that. He treats me in in, same way. He doesn't really mean any thing by it.-Texas Siftings.
 Ways and Means.-Home- Seeker Gin specting flat How in the world are peo pie to live in such little chubby-holes a these! Agent-Easy enough, mum. Al you need is folding bed. camp chairs ant self-doubling up tables and few thing like that "Hurnph I can hardly turI around in these rooms myself'' T see
 mum. It's too bad to be so afflicted mum
 You should take Gnti-fat New Yor
 Weekly.
 At a watering place in the Pyrenee. the conversation at the table turned upo
 a wonderful echo to be heard some di,
 tance off on the Franco Spanish frontier
 'It is astonishing" exclaimed an il
 habltant of the Garonne. "As soon you have spoken you hear distinctly th l voice leap from rock to rock from precipiC
 to precipice, and as soon as it has passe the frontier the echo assumes the Spanis , accent. ."-Courier due Midi The Matter of an Allowance -"M dear" whispered the young man, "as W are so soon to be married, we should taE a practical view of life and profit by tt ' mistakes of others. For instance, thel f is the subject of regular allowance ever s week for spending money, you know l Oh, I've thought of that she replit sweetly. Have you!' ''Yes, indee, f Hundreds and hundreds of times, ar t lately haven't thought of much else t "Ehi' ''Yes. Your income is S2,OO r isn't it'" ''Yes, and I want it to go as fl
 as possible toward your happiness" "C t course. Well, I've talked it over wit f mamma, and she thinks an allowance of
 a week will be plenty" ''Indeed:' 70 F yes. You can walk to the office, you kno' i and carry yOur lunch, you know, and : you can use the whole dollar for cigar i and neckties, and things. New Yo, @ Weekly.