Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1891-08-04
WRINKLES.

Ladies do not like to grow old, and yet
they're the very first to adopt new wrin-
kle-Binghamton Republican.
A pair of deaf mutes were married the
other day at Topeka. One of the presents
was an alarm clock.-Kansas City Star.
Grocer-Our terms are cash-no credit
Harduppe-A bad principle-very bad
1t will lose you my trade.-Munsey's g
Weekly.
''I wonder why all these timid fellows
are marrying brunettes."
Probably because faint heart ne'er won
fair Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
Povery- stricken suitor-Be mine, Aman-
da, and will treat you like an angel
Amanda should think so! Nothing
to eat, and still less to wear. Not mel
Figaro.
''I was bred in Ohio" said the mission
ary. "Huhl You be pie in my country" F."
returned the cannibal; and later develop
ments showed that the cannibal was right
Puck.
Aunt (ending her story)-And three lieu
tenants fell in the attack.
College girl-And is it possible there
are people in this world heartless enough
to kill Observation-Disclosures Blatter.
Bachelor-Fred, how would you define
a love letters
Benedict-A love letter is thing that
ten years afterward you generally wish
you hadn't written.-Philadelph Record.
Professor-I understand, young gentle
man, that you are opposed to the introduc-
ton of co-education in this college!
Student-Yes, sir, we are. What do girls
want to go to college for, anywaya They
can't row.-Buffalo Express.
"Does your husband take much interest
in strikesF" asked the woman who reads
the newspapers, of neighbor ''Do they
affect his businessl"
TT should think so. You couldn't keep
him in his Office when there is base ball
game going n."-Washington Post.
Different Views About It-Farmer Close
Fist-Mariar, what'd yer like ter hev fur
yer birthday present!
Maria-A gold breastpin. What yer
goin' ter give me!
Farmer Close Fist haint decided yit
'twixt pair O. stockins an the calf 1 give
John last Christmas. Courier.
The Quitman, Ga, Free Press tells a
good story at the expense of Judge Query
of Dawson. A short time ago an old ne
gro was up before the judge charged with
some trivial offense. Haven't you law
yer, old mang' inquired the Judge "No,
sah." "Don't you want me to appoint
one to defend you!" "No, sab; jes tho't
I'd leab de case to the ignance OBJ de cot"
Things One Would Have Said Different
ly.-A young lady was calling for the first
time upon acquaintance, whose friendship
she was exceedingly glad to cultivate, and
before whom she wished to appear as ad-
vantageously as possible. But as she with
drew gracefully from the parlor, she ex-
claimed, cordially, while shaking the hand
of her hostess, Dear Miss G., do come
and see me soon, and don't stay as long as
1 have done"-Christian Union.
Two little girls on a Cass avenue car
were discussing their plans for the sum-
mer. One said: "Papa and mamma and
Freddie and I are going to have the lowell
est little tent on Orchard Lake, and We'll
have just heaps of fun for weeks and
weeks"
"Oh," said the other, with a world
ly and superior air, "that's SO common.
Mamma and her maid and nurse and baby
and 1 are going to Bar Harbor."
''But what's your papa going to do?''
"Why," in a surprised tone, "he's going
to stay home and earn money to send us,
of course, just as he always does. DE,
troit Tribune.