Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-01-16
PITEI AND POINT.


= Every gust of wind around Belowe's
Island is blow at Liberty. Boston Bul-
letin.
did you ever see a sind row." s.No;
: but I've seen sword fish. "-New York
/, Herald.
Nature with worm is wonderful
condenser. She has the hole thing in o
nutshell.
There arc two sides to every question
The wrong side and our side.-7erro
Hauto Express.
1t is unreasonable to expect a man to
be collected if his bills are not.-La,o-
renee American.
Itwould seem that the proper place to
cook mountain game would be on
mountain range.-Teras Sytings.
The enterprising business man is hew-
ing out his way to success with well-di-
rected blows from his ads.-Binghamto
Leader.
"Who gave Croesus's bride away, her
father7'. "Thero wasn't any giving
about it. Croesus paid cash down.
The Epoch.
els your father ina" 'sNo; he is in
the country" "Ah! gone away for rest,
supposed "No; he has gone away on
avacation. "-Boston Courier.
The man who dies without glory will
never have his ghost shivcr at the sight
of its statue adorned with Roman toga
and an eightcenth-ccntury wig.-Puck.
Man, irreverent, triaing man, should
abstain from sneers ut womarllind till he
has learned to hold plate OF ice cream
on his lap without tocing in.-Elmira
Gasetts.
y Nladdox-"Look here, Simeral, don't
you know it is dangerous to go into the
water after hearty meal2" Simcral--
''I'm not going in after meal. It's a
bath Pm after. "-Iacket.
Dumlcy-"ATy doeskin trousers are
very much like the bills my tailor has
lssent in for them" Chumley-s'In what
regdds" Dumley-"Both need reseat-
-Glothier and Funisher.
Small Roy Ito porter lifting large
box)-"Say, mister, want me ter help
yer9n Porter (contemptuously)-"Bahl
What kin youdo2' Small Boy-"NIe2
I'll gruut Mhileyou lift."-Ligdt.
McClammy I'll his wife -"I'll bet you
dollar it rails tonight" Mrs. Nc
Clammy-"I mayer bet.n NIcClammy-
"Then please to ecease calling yourself
my better half .n-s Chicago Inter Ocean.
DR.. Brown-seqaard has paper in the
August Forum entitled, "Havo We Two
Brains or One2" Some months ago tho
public was curious to khow if the good
doctor had one brain or nGpe.--Fo-t
Worth Gazette.
81 notice." said n minister, ssadeplor-
able tendency on the part Of MS t;ongge--
CATION to lapse from grace. am very
much panied to observe that this back
( sliding has taken the form of an increas-
ing membership in the choir. Bling
hdaaton Leader.
Maud-"Papa, I thought you said this
morning that Jack Brewer was no
chicken" Her Father (grimly)-ssThat's
, what / said" Maud-rThen what docs
this meant (rcading) Jack Brewer,
stroke OF the Yale crew, stepped jaunti-
ly out of the shell. "-B0ston Post. ;
Extremes Meet-s'Did you know,
Jellaby, that old Manyrocks walked all
the way to Chicago from Auburn, N. ",
when he first came here; was 600 poor to
j pay his car fare2" sis that .so2 And
brow he's too rich to, and rides on a pass.
Queer world this. y Chicago Times.
An Economical Wife.-ssI want an egg
plant" said young married woman to to
the grocer. "Im sorry, but I haven't
one in the store just now" swell, I
must get one somewhere and raise nv
own eggs, for I'm resolved not to nav
such high prices for them. "-Meo York
Sun.
Poet-"I don't see how YOU have the
cheek to charge $40 for that suit. -
Tailor-ssMy name is worth something
Sir" Poet drawing his cheeky -"Weil,
( III take it." Tailor-ssBut this check
is for $40 only" Poet-.I know it.
but my name is worth something ~
Ne,o York Sun.
1t WINS brave net, young man, said
the grateful father with deep feeling.
at the peril of your life you rushed into
the burning building and saved NV
daughter. How. can / ever repay you2"
"Would q couple of dollars be too
SmuchY" suggested the brave rescuer.-
Chicago Tribune.
The sun has settled meath the hill,
The dew has settled on the grass
The birds that circle DER the mill
All pause and settle ere they pass.
The misers settled at his till,
me moth has settled IL the flame,
And lalone with that small bill,
Am ever constant-stil the same
= Wdshin9ton Post.
Wife-"Well, what do you think
johnny wants now2" Husband--sI'yc
no idea. Wife He wants me to tease
you into buying him bicycle. Hus-
band (who has tried bicycling himself,
~ Nonsense; he can't have one. Tell
him to go up into the attic and fall down
two FIGHTS of staira IL will In s,,a4