The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-01-03
INCORRIGIBLE TEDDY.
BY j, F, COWAN,

-
syAPS eecentyicties of department was
bound to be a necessity had been getting
more ard more pointed for some days
and nights.
I'm an advocate of moral suasion. Moral
,suasiun is all right for moral delinquencieS,
:: but his seemed 10 be faults rather OF forget
fulness, and natures way of impresslng the
memory is through burned fingers and
= bumped heads.
:. 1 DON'T think any child could have felt
deeper sense of obligation to do right lie
=: did it often and unsolicited and IN double
and triple doses. He was all right at heart,
- his mother said, and on the slightest en-
conragement he gave numerous and over
= :dswing evidence of heart as full OF good
T.! intentions as a Sleeps wool of cookie burrs.
-; Bpt that diminished none OF the danger
OF having cur house burned over our heads
= from matches he had. climbed to the third
:. shelf to play with; or of being deluged with
: water from the hydrants he forget to stop
:: opening; or of having to call family coun-
.:cil TO ti>h buttOns out of his oSe that he
b.. " ould forget To stop helping himself 10 from
:. Wifes basket and pOkiug up there.
e.: Aud, not only was he the most Wiling and
volumuouS OF doors, With chances All III MS
favor tilat he would not stop when thing
was done, but keep on doing1t until 1t was
overdune and your patience done up; but
-. no one could have shown mole John tue
Baptist repentance over his numerous
. omissions Of obedience or overt acts. his
repentance was of the early spring variety.
Ii invariably bOSsOmed out before your re-
proof could gel through the ground, ana so
- hlled the air with lis rich fragrance that re-
sentiment or rich thoughts OF harsh treat
. ment we're sOItenel ana sahcuASu Win
dist atrh.
Before your greatest vigilance had ap-
prised You that tranSgresson hau Deen
committed, up would steal contrlte little
fellow with humility written IN big capitals
all over hts face, and, in a voice that would
:: draw pity from an empty mOlaS ses-hogs-
De adj. confess and promise never 10 DO II
again IN the same breath
Bat the promises only blOOmed for brief
q. season. They We're like the flower OF the
:. field; IN the morning they hOurisned; but
: before MONDAY they were cut down and
Wlthered, aud the place that knew them
81. knew them no more forever.
I his may not be exact Scripture language,
but 1t Is the exact fact in the case, and The
Insurance man knew il and doubled rates on
: as :. and SO did the young doctor across the
street who kept lis case Of Splnts and his
=" weather eve ready TO answer an emergency
call, while The plumber and the garbage man
r grew at on our mlshapS ana lost silver
. spoons.
=. And so the case stood when it was agreed,
witr:but one dissenting voice, between my
: wife and myself, to make a test case of the
= next lapse Of memory. and see If the efficacy
= Of blTch in aiding good intentions had ell
= that we meant business, and there was to
= be noffnching when the critical moment ar
:. rlved-that is.to say, at our end'of the line
]. :: As returned from an unsuccessful search
= :@fOE tile morning paper the boy was supposed
=; :tUIaye left0n the step, and was about To
T.. try=t0 con tent myself with the latest maya
:. .zhe-@f E.could ind ia very confidential
:: .toHe ann unced to me:
+. : Ted Won't do itaden, papa; he wont burn
:. zee paper in. zee pire aden he won't, if 90
wont Yip Elm Wis time, he Won't" Then he
: : paused, ready TO execute bond and mort
gage 10 secure me, in case l demurred at
-:.tatlDg his NAKED word.
!: :: 8 Terence fexciaImed sternly, in dread
=. of a coDliagEati0n, come this minute and
=: .sh6W papa where you have burned paper
= in the irel, Come hight along. you bad boy,
= 81 viii. He will so 90. He wont do it
:sden il go Won't vip,lim, he Won't" And,
= :: cir: ping my finger III his arm, soft little
:haiu> lie led me into the best room, with
! >, that air OF half-eXultaDI expectancy on his
flee which anticipates a sensation, TO create
which. he has contributed all the capital
stock. himsrIf.
=. -Ihe.T pom'was filed with smoke. 1t was
:" mot tie common, tlaln-edged smoke from .
wood that goes up your nOstrilS like 4 tax
:" collector after q delinquent, and gets into
your eyes with 4 search warrant for tears,
but a concentrated, hfdeous, sickening
p. stencil of seOTched paint and burning as
phi! iJEln, the most vile and oVerpowering
and nauseOus OdOr imaginable. 1t came
:. pouring from the cracks of closed coal
=: vase until that highly useful and Orna-
mental article Of parlor furnishings looked
Ike a young blast furnace with the lid
= down. | fastened to raise ii, and il recip-
rGcated by fastening to raise howl in he
over two-em blister across the front of my
fingers.
The inside Of the half-empty coal bucket
was niied with mass OF glowing and smok-
ins paper. the heat from which was melting
and scOrching the enamel off the hand,
int
- oil incense 10 the boys tituar deity Bonfire.
lt-was the remains of the morning paper
= the latest mag zine, an essay on Confucius
and roll of dresS-patterns, which this
:. young disciple had burned as joss, in obedi-
- ence t. some passing impulse.
: L only wish the Impulses of this sort would
90 pass a little more rapidly and not loiter to
look over the fence. | wish had been about
when this. one was passing, and could have
treated 1t TO a dose OF counter irritation
with single paddle in the appropriate
spot But II wishes were horses beggars
: might ride. couldn't ride, but was bound
to:get there now, il l had to- 20 afuot a ] the
. way
!: The smoke Of battle had cleared away and
- vile had cleared away the mess. There re-
= manned an unpleasant duty for me TO per
: form: 13arental correction must be invoked.
!: eyeht0 severity. invoked 1t. corrugated
:: my brow after the fashion of sheet-iron
E. roof and. arranged the lines of my face ia
sisAjIl9H' Ligi9lt! whiie pulled out the
-. =
:. gan 10 administer the reproof in a tone that
:: weighed sixty-fve pounds to tie foot ''-'''
:: =: = Terence" ! began, in measured accents
my face covered with q look of stern deter,
!. :mindti0n and burnside whiskeTs while wife
covered: hers with her apron for reasons
:: more Obvious later on.
=: calculated on making a panic at the
start that would give an excuse for mild
corporal :chaStsement, bat my accents
:: didn't measure as much as l thought they
:: did. They fell short of the mark, and had
to throw in "a stage ahem that rasped the
:: sides Of my throat like a curryc0mh
The little fellow met me half way with
smile that would have turned the sharp
edge OF cimeter, it was.so dauntIess and
. full Of assurance.
-. 1t seemed ito say THAT eurrant twip
: looks as though it might want to get aco
qnainted. with my limbs, but me fathers at
: the helum." There was something about il
j: that made me waver.
-" 1erence! was. about to begin over
again; but he relieved me of the necessitv 1
by beginning himself. His infant soul be,
: gan. to feel the shadow of coming events.
: lie didn't ike to wear shadows by daylight;
the goods didn' t.natch his complexion. He
: broke in upon my embarrassment:
.PospIe, Teddy won't do 1T any more. He
vii mate hisse'f do an tand in zee torner
He vas bad. boy; he vii tate oS his Sos an
= tossins an mate lie 'tay in house. He viii
!: put. away his pitsur-b boot an he sa'ant voot
!. at IL, to Yesterday, he SAINT, 'tause he vas
: bad boy. But he wont be bad boy alden. He
viii be dood dus yite, Popsie. He vii 'Yip
: se,s VIZ zee vlp; he
e: w hen he had paused out of sheer lack Of
BREATH. from deyiSing modes of punishment
for:' himself l stood in silence and No.
men, boots, and said to himself
. :" what brute of a big thing Won wonId
: be 70 strikea helpless cOnfding little fellow
:: like that. -'-'"
My sympathies were wrenched all out of
R.umo D., With my righteous purpose to give
IL he had only kicked,6r scresmeds or rt triad
70 snatch the switch. or STAMPED his foot
ana SsaIe; ~ Won't but there he stood with with
his, informing NE that l could 90 aheaa e oi
whip If i had the heart to do it. and dI ba
would harbor no ill-will, but he shouid hhe o
terribly disappointed in me as a tendey