The critic., 1891-02-23
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

Nearly everything that q man likes to do is
bad for him. Atehtso" 6tode,
Mud turned 70 dust mrst he attributed to
su1.dry effects Nelo OgIeGRS Plcdyane.
a good salary Is about the last thing an artist
learns TO draw DGnciae Bret=e.
Alglcrs Is ever liable to surprises; no man
knows what Dcy may bring forth--Boston
courier.
Il there any polteness exceeding that of a
tailor Whose bin has Just been paid !-Somo-
cite journal
It'sno wonder that the man who cries shot
corn from the street corners has Il husky
voice. BiHghdmton RepuJiican.
If we could only see ourselves as others see
us the probability is that most of us would look
the other way. --Somer0iHe Journal.
No man knows his own mind, because he has
nothing to know II wlth.-Ddilas News.
slow old is your boyS"
"llc's ola enough now not 10 be old enough
TO know that he don't know some things that
he'll know when he's a little oldcr.-1h Epoch.
VIII some one tell Inc OF some treatment for
u canary that does not sings | wish no patent
prcparation.-C Correspondent.
Treat II a. well Gs You can. Your bird Is u
priceless treasure Pitts6uiy Chi0nicse 1ete.
Jfdph'
iusucei'' asked Justice Dars' 'efavasrak " Vi
No, Judge; 1t is the last time thus far. I How
Is itwlth yourselfg- 2traS SJtR9s.
Don't you think You would make NOR,
money, and enjoy better health in doing house
workyn
"Yes, rather think would,n answered the
"saleslady.m
"And yet your false pride"
"oh, pride has nothing TO do with it. don't
want TO be bosscd by another woman, that's
all" l."-IndidadpoHs journal.
"To what do you attribute your longevltyyr
asked an investigator OF ccntenarlan.
"To the fact that never died. WAS the con-
elusive reply.-Ha'ptr'S B0sar.
The lumbcrmcn OF the United States meet In
this city In annual session. While they are
more or less wood men" so far as their busl-
ness goes, from the specimens examined there
IL not Il "blOckhead' among then.- .ueUDhks
.ippeat-- -4rdlaEche.
Thomas /. Hall, Right Worthy National
Grand Supreme Ruler OF the National Grand
Lodge of the Order OF Galilcan Fishermen, was
presented with high, elk hat with his name
colored women of Hampton. lie has been In
Hampton for the past week lecturlng on Per
severance" and completing arrangements for
the thirty.ifth annual session OF the National
Grand Lodge of Galileans.- baltimore SUI.
Carker calling on fricnd)-Mercyl What's
that frightful shouting up-stairsY
scrvant-1hat's Mr.. Barker. sir.
Carker-Why, ] thought he had lost his
voice.
Servant lie had, sir but he has Just received
the Doctors bill.-Iuck
'Scaddlebcrry, my wife insisted on my conf
Ing over here and letting you know that your
mastin killed her pug this morning, and she
H." M""'' " ""'" """' ~" '"''n" 10 ao ABOUT
"Wel, III bury the pug.n
"1horel told her you'd do the right thing
Come ont and have drink. .'-Net0 FORK Her.
d0
Uncle silas Brown is very much gratldod
over his election 10 the Office OF School Com
missioner IN the town OF s.. lie asserted
that when lie assumed the duties of his posi-
tion he intended TO make his influence felt
SO no one was surprised at the first meeting OF
the new board TO find him In a pugnacious
mood.
i've heern lots o. complaints about the
lack OF eddication about these parts,n he said.
Now, there amt no excuse for this here state
Of affairs. There's plenty OF eddcaton In the
world. Morc'n enough to so round, aud our
kids have got ter have IL, So move, Mr..
Chairman that this committee find out lest
then get enough cddication to supply 'em all,
whatever II costs. I'D like 10 know whar we'd
he Il we hadn't got our fnll share Of IL. Give
the kids a chancei. .'-Hdipe,'s Mgd.ine for
March.
A lithographing establishment In Buffalo re-
Gently received from Western customer cir
enlarnote announcing the death OF the head OF
the hrm. IL was given TO u clerk with in
structions to write Il letter OF coincidence in re-
ply, and this Is what he supplied: "We are
greatly psined to learn Of the loss sustained by
yonr firm, and extend to you our heartlest
sympathy. We notice that the circular you
send us announcing Mr.. IS death Is lItho.
graphed by Chicago parties. We regret that
You did not see II In Your way to lot lIs asare
ON this Job. Tho next time there is n begeave.
ment In your house we shall be glad TO quote
yon on Autographed circulars aud are conf
dent that we can give You better work at less
cost than anybody else In the business. Trust
ing we may soon have an opportunity of
quoting yon prices, we remain, with profound
sympathy, yours truly.N-BgBa.o Courier
That Sort of Woman Won't Need
Cradles.
When WOman's Rights have come TO stly.
oh, who Will rock the cradley
When wives are at the polls all day,
Oh, who will rock the cradleY
When Doctor Mammals making pills,
When Merchant Mammals selling bills,
or course twill cure all womRn's ills,
But who Will rock the GRADER
When mama TO the court has hIel,
oh, who will rock the cradei
She has o case that must be tried,
But who VIII rock the cradley
when Captain Mamma walks her decks
When Banker Mammals cushing checks,
when all our girls have lost their sey,
Must
Papa