davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
willing to BE a Mother to Him.

Immature but Ardent Lover-I will
not be trifed with any longer, Maud
Spoonamorel Will you marry me? Yes
or no?
Mature but Unsusceptible Damsel
with anxious concern)-Harry, have
you had the whooping cough and been
vaccinated yet?-Chicago Tribune.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Good Men Not Needed.

Stranger-I should think such an en-
terprising, public-spirited citizen as MIR.
Goodman would be nominated for some
important Office in this community.
Politician - He'd run well, but we
don't need him.
'Don't need him?"
"No. We're always sure Of big pa-
;o1ity, anyhow" IN. Y. Weekly.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Very Strange.

Sunday-School Teacher finishing the
narration)-And that is the story of Jo-
nah and the whale.
Johnny Cumso-Isn't It strange they
knew what q Jonah was that long ago?
Jury
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
A Parting Shot,

Mr.. B.-My dear, your butcher gives
You short weight for your money.
Mrs. B.-But consider, also, my dear,
the long wait you give him for his
Leslie's Illustrated Newspaper.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Something wrong with Him.

SOmeth1nR wrong WIN HIM.
"Who is that half-witted looking fell
low over there?"
Hes the greatest curiosity in the
museum. He is an architect who de-
signed house that was built for what
he said it would cost"-Jury.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Said 70 Just the same.

$50 she rejected you, did shep Your
proposal didn't please herr"
We'll. | can't hardly say II didn't
please her thought she'd never stop
laughing - .,nston Herald.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10

Mrs. Tangle-Remember, Tommy,
never put off till tomorrow what can
be done to-day.
Tommy-Then, ma, guess I'd better
eat up the rest Of those candies right
now.-Saturday Evening Herald.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
ABRAMS WAS SATISFIED.

Here, Abrams, look at this suit Of
clothes you sold me yesterday"
whats de matter of EN-? sold 'em
TO you half off fur cash, didn't II"
"Yes."
"Well, I've got der cash, ant de close
is half off, amt it? What more do you
want?"-Life.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
The Proper Thing.

Mrs. Glanders-My husband is such
an orderly man.
Mrs. Gummey-Is he?
Mrs. Glanders-Yes; he's subject to
epilepsy, you know. Well. he felt an
attack coming on yesterday while on
the street, and he walked right into his
tailor's to have the fit.-Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
A Thrifty Mind.

The Collegian - Shall be engaged
again this summer or not?
The Accommodating Girl-It's just as
You say.
The Collegian-Well, we might as
well be engaged, then-but you won't
expect another ring, will you?-Mun.
sey's Weekly.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Not y Book Lover,

Papa-Wel, Jack, what book have
you found most valuable this year?
Jack (thoughtfully)-To tell you tho
truth, father, lost on every book I
made.-Munsey's Weekly.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
unintcntlonnl xlanr.

Mother-Why. Maud, I'm shocked!
Get of that table at onco. What in the
world is the matter with you?
Maud-Oh, rats!-Munsey's Weekly.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10

While the prices given here are high
on the articles of merchandise men
toned, prices given on the farmers
commodities are below the market
prices, and, in spite of this fact, there is
a balance in favor of the farmer of S103 10,
which he carries home in his pocket,
besides what he carries on his back
N. Y. Press.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
An Object Of Sympathy.

"See that fellow over there? Poor
cuss. He doesn't know where he'll get
his next meal"
You surprise me. He looks well to
do"
HE is; but he doesn't know whether
he'll dine home or at the club. Jury
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
On the ROwerv.

Customer-Why, look here, waiter;
you've get your thumb in my soup!
Waiter-Oh, don't mind; faint hot.
Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Nothing New

Il hear Ilrown,r died of consumption.
"ies cunsurpt on of cigarettes ~
MunseY's WechiY.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
A Natural Conclusion.

Mr.. Corncob-Now, Marier, why will
you keep a-talkin' agin' terbackerp
Why, there's old Peter Flaxseed, mos
ninety. and has allus smoked like ham.
house.
Mrs. Corncob-Humph! He might q
bin hundred by this time If he hadn't.
Judge.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10

Obnoxious Waiter-Iiave you forgot
ten nothing. sir?
Guest | left it for Wife
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
A Proverb DIsprovetl,

"They say that time is money; but l
don't believe it."
"Why not?'
because rich men never seem to have
O moment to pare."-Puck.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10
Sample of Jerry simpsonism.

The Jerry Simpson tppe of orator is
now abroad in the land, and this is the
kind of stuff he is feeding the American
farmer on:
Look how high tariff prices affect
the farmer. 1t now takes load of
potatoes to buy pair of boots; big
steer buys plain suit of clothes for
everyday wear; it takes "a good COW to
buy a plain overcoat Il load of corn
buys caps and mittens; load of oats
will furnish a corresponding suit of I'M
derclothing So that when the farmer
returns home from the country store he
carries on his person the value of a big
steer, good cow, and thirty bushels or
more of corn, of oats and of potatoes"
AS the statements made above are so
eXtravagantly false, we felt constrained
to make some inquiries, and with the
assistance of farmer, one of the class
| the item was calculated to catch, we
are able to produce few figures which
reflect no credit upon the author of the
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1891-06-10

bonds and mortgages, in lands and
houses, withdrawing it from industrial
enterprises which employ labor. The
manufacturer can get on. He can wait
for his dividend but the laborer cannot
wait for his dinner.
The farmer doesn't want any more
farmers: he wants more mouths to feed,
more men who do not produce from the
soil, but who earn money in the shop,
and he wants them as near his field OF
production as he can get them The
closer you can bring the field of pro-
duction to the field OF consumption the
better it will be for both producer and
consumer. Ask the farmer whether he
would rather have farm beside him or
a factory, and he will take the factory.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

well-known sGulliver's Travels" Thespothe-
cary voyages from Bristol, England, to the
South Seas in the good ship Antelope, which
ception of Galliver, who is cast upon the
shores of Liliput, near Milendo, the capital
city. The action of the extravaganza follows
closely, In the main, the series of peculiar In
cidents described in Swft's work and affords
splendid opportunity for the the display OF flne'
tunes and is good vehicle for the introduc-
tion of the company of dwarfs with their
numerous specialities, these specialities being
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

given during the last act, when the reception
OF GVliiver and the celebration of the Lilipu-
tians' victories over their ancient enemies is
in progress. Among the well-known little
people who appear with this organization
will be Admiral Dot, the famous Barnum
dwarf, Jennie Quigley, Commodore Foote and
Queene Foote. These four toured Europe
some years since, and were favored with many
royal commands to appear and give pri-
vate entertainments before the sovereigns
OF the different countries they visited,
and were called "Royal Midgets" by warrant
OF her majesty, Queen Victoria, who author
ized them to use this title. Major James
Doyle, the German Rose, Colonel Huebler,
Colonel Middleton General William Bryant,
the four little Danes, the Barrison sisters,
Annie Nelson, Sadie Bolton, Lottie Swart-
wood, Grant Potter, Prince Louis, Captain
Liable, Colonel Hurd, and many other equally
well-known dwarfs are assigned prominent
and responsible parts, and appear throughout
each entertainment. The Adams sisters, two
very pretty little ladies, are descendants in q
direct line from the celebrated Adams family,
OF Martha's Vineyard, Mass, of which John
Quincy Adams was q member. Little Chip,
the boy wonder, is one OF the smallest and
ablest comedians on the American stage, and
his limitations of prominent people and lead
ing actors are considered among the most
artistic performances of modern times. Some
idea of the size Of these tiny Thespians may
be gained from the fact that they are from
thirty to forty-two inches in height, and from
20 to 40 years OF age.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
"THB PULSE OF NEW YORK
A Sensational Melodrama the Attraction
at Harris This Week

A Sensational Melodrama the Attraction
at Harris This Week,
Both the star and the play combine to max e
"The Pulse of New York; one of the most
promising attractions that have been an
nounced for the popular Harris Bijou Thea
tire this season. The play is new to Washing
ton and has a record of successes. Besides
telling q story of intense interest, 1t has the
advantages of good company and elaborate
scenic equipment. Miss Oracle Emmett as
sumes the leading role and is said to do it in
manner that is worthy of the reputation she
has earned as q soubrette. She has wonder
fully natural gifts, vivacous manner, good
looks, and quick perception Of good points.
The plot IN its development permits many
scenic novelties, among which are some very
startling mechanical effects. 'sThe Little
Church Around the Corner'' is shown for the
first time on the stage. 1t has been joked
about, moralized upon, and sung of both in
comic and sentimental strains. but this is the
first time that audiences have been introduced
to it at such close range. Among the other
clever things that the scenic artist and stage
carpenter have provided for this performance
are pile driver in active operation, the New
York Elevated Railway with the Cooper In
stitute in the distance, the great fire scene,
showing the thrilling leap for life, and present
Ing the life e-saving methods Of the fire depart
ment At this point in the play, Polly, the
heroine, leaps from a burning mansion at
great height and is caught in huge net held
by ten fremen.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

Mr.. Pastor is unkind or uncharitable, It
would be great mistake. 1t was not very
long ago that poor, aged woman, ac-
companfed by her little grandson, stumbled
and fell down in one OF the dark streets of
New York City. 1t happened that no one was
near and the little fellow was unable to lift
her up. He tugged away at her in vain and
looked up and down the street for help. A
well-dressed gentleman approached. "Oh,
Mr.. Pastor, he cried, recognizing the face that
is familiar to all New York, "won'tyou help
me to lift granny up 9r
"Won't help you, my boy9 Why what's
this--your old granny on the ground Too
couple two of New Yorl's typical characters.
She was soon put on her feet, and except
slight bruise, had escaped injury. "Here, my
boy, let you granny ride home," Pastor said,
handing the lad a crisp bank-note and disap
pearing before he could be thanked. Next
week the melodrama ''Master and Man." will
be the attraction at Kernan's.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

tiles enables him TO secure the very best
vaudeville talent. Though he has appeared
himself, season after season, Mr.. Pastor re-
mains the popular card he has always been,
and finds his audiences always eager TO hear
him sing his comic songs. There is a charm
In MIR. PASTORS singing, perhaps due TO an art
he alone possesses, that grows greater with
time. lie will positively appear at every per-
formance, introducing among other songs
"Oh, Let 1t Be Soon, and his own version OF
"When We Meet on That Beautiful Shore. -
Maggie Cline, who is one of the strongest
cards in the company, is well-known Irish
topical vocalist, and has made as great hit in
her new song, "I've Worked Eight Hours This
Day." as she made In "Mary Ann Kehoen and
"Throw Him Down. McClusky,n two songs
that the audience invariably demand before IL
will part with her. Conray snd Fox are
clever comedians and create much amusement
in their "Have You Seen Dan McKenna ?"
The Schallers, from Vienna are wonderful
grotesque acrobats. The La Blanche Sisters,
dancers, singers, and high kickers from Lon
don, are very pretty. Included in the bill are
the Haytors, Edith Arthur, and Frank; John
e. Drew, Griffin and Wilkinson, Leslie and
Collins, the Leonards, Bob and Jennie, and
Sam Dearin. Matinees Tuesday, Thursday,
and Saturday.
Tony Pastor is considered man hard to I'D
proaeh. He is reserved, and possesses an air
OF severity that discourages familiarity In
business, he is very strict and holds his
subordinates accountable for the slightest
nelgeet or carelessness, though he pays them
well and not infrequently makes them hand
some presents. In all his business career, 1t
is said, there has been but one man who has
come up to Mr.. PASTORS expectations and
adopted himself to his ways. That man has
been his business manager for years, and is
located permanently in New York. But il
from this any one should form the idea that
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
"a FAIR REBEL"
The War Drama Which Will Occupy tho
Nationa al Stage This Week.

The War Drama which Will Occupy tho
National Stage This Week.
A drama founded on incidents in the late
war will hold the stage at the National
Theatre this week. 1t is called ga Fair
Rebel,'' and the author, Mr.. Mawson, was a
soldier in the great struggle between North
and South, and therefore writes intelligently
and with intimate knowledge. The play is
said to be in a high degree stirring and real
astic. The stage is transformed into an actual
battle field. The peals Of cannon In the dis
tance, the yells of infuriated men fighting for
hearth and home, the neighing of the horses,
the whirr and whizz of the shells, and in front
of all those veterans clinging to the stubble,
dragging themselves once more to the front 10
see the grand old flag before they die. And
the sudden approach Of the hero draws at
once the plaudits of the audience, who realize
that victory is always with the right, and, as
the curtain falls, each theatre-goer involun-
tarily murmurs 'sLet us have peace" Mr..
Mawson served all through the war, and his
lines are infused with pathos that amounts
to passion but is ever patriotic The play
comes with fine metropolitan Endorsement,
where it had long run. The same scenery
and the same company will be seen here
Fanny Gillette and Ed. Mawson are the hero
inc and hero.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
n R O UT
8 ANKS AND BANKING
For the Poor Rather Than the Rich.


classified
POuhe
sysI OF call loans thirty the
in
from mdeposior
cd m for 0pHm
e the rsultP
Industrial Banking
profits
CURED something
ereb
NEE scae
ndwnl
such
most perec security.
alke
deposits
anya amour
O deposit
ksforth
N organ nizato
and gin abankac account.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

The leading theatres had meritorious en-
tertainments last week and they did a salts.
factory business. " Darlington's Widow"
which held the stage at Albaugh'e, is q moder-
ately amusing comedy, with no great pre-
lenses to originality of incident or literary
merit. The critical could see much In IL that
they could not applaud heartily, but It seemed
to hit the taste of the audiences and is, no
doubt, of as high plane of merit ss reasonable
people can expect as rule this early In the sea-
son when managers do not fud t easy to secure
attractions of the highest order, and could not
afford to engage them II they did. The
comedy was competently done by the ladies
and gentlemen OF the cast
Not since Henry lrvlng's first visit TO this
city has any actor made such profound Inn
preston as Mr.. Willard created In Harry
Arthur Jones' play, "The Middleman." Mr..
Willard is an artist Of admirable natural
equipment and the best methods. He pos
sesses strong magnetic personality, features
that impress one instantly by their rugged
honesty and sincerity, and a full, rich voice,
capable of expressing wide range OF emo
tion without ever breaking or grating on the
ear. These natural gifts MIR. Willard has the
intelligence to utilize to the utmost In the
service of his art, and the school In which he
has been trained comments him to the favor
of the most enlightened medern audiences.
Ills neL0Ou is nOucbu, niu-
cere. There isnot suggestion of trickery in his
wholly admirable impersonation of Cyrus Blen-
kdrn, nor is there at any time an indication that
he is conscious of the existence Of the au-
dience. Altogether Mr.. Willard is an artist
whose acquaintance Washington is delighted
to have made and whose return will be
watched for with lively feelings of pleasure.
''The Middleman" is q thoughtful, powerful
play that arouses and retains to the end the
interest of an intelligent audience and
teaches strong social lesson. Mr.. Williard's
company is thoroughly worthy of him. Miss
Burroughs charming personality and finished
art won all who saw her. Hardly less meri-
torious were Mr.. Massen, Mr.. Carleton, and
Miss Tilbury.
Frederick Paulding is good actor OF con-
siderable force and many attractive qualities.
Music were of fair proportions and in his play,
'sThe Struggle of Life" he easily won their
favor His companyis Of moderate merit.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
IA TEXAS STEER. :"

Hoyt's New Parce the Attraction at the
Academy of Music Tomorrow Night.
new comedy by Charles FL. Hoyt has the
flattering advance assurance of favorable
hearing by large audiences. Mr.. Hoyt, in his
latest endeavor TO amuse and edify, levels the
keen-tipped shafts of his sarcasm at wicked
political methods that obtain far from here.
"a Texas Steer' is the odd title of the new
Hoytian addition to the American drama A
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

American and Euro
pean speciality stars,
is the attraction at
Ker n a ms L y ce u IN
Theatre this week.
The company is one
OF the best Mr.. Pas
tor has ever organ
ized. Tony Pastor
possesses rare judg-
ment.and this coupled
with years of expert
once and ample faciI-
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
aTHE ROYAL MIDGETS."

A Company of Dwarfs in a Dramattza-
tion of "Glliver's Travels"
''The Royal Midgets" is the. somewhat curl
ious title of large company of tiny actors
and actresses who will appear in Rankin and
Gordon's musical extravaganza, entitled
'Gulliver Among the Liliputians," at AL
baugh's for one week, beginning tomorrow
This company is the only one in the world
that is composed entirely of little people who
give dramatic and musical entertainments in
the English language. The organization in
cludes about fifty well-known dwarfs who ap-
pear as the people of Liliput, while
Mr.. Harry De Lorme, the gigantic tenor,
formerly with the Casino Opera Com
tS' the 'imneeunious @ apotbecary J,o he " so prapbt,
cally described by Dean Swift in his
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
TONY PASTOR.

His New Company the Attraction at
The Lyceum Theatre This Week.
Tony Pastor, with his double company of
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

Texas ranchman is the hero, who is unani-
mously elected to represent his district in Con-
gress. Exceptional unanimity entails an ex-
penditure OF cash that the ranchman declines
to pay. Out OF his vrtuous resolve he is per-
suaded by brace of revolvers being aimed
point blank, close range, at his dome of
thought To Washington the uncouth ranch
man goes with his unsophisticated wife and
uncultured daughter. As may be inferred,
the trio from the Lone Star State play the
very deuce with the proprieties of life in the
select circles of Washington society. The
varied experience Of the crude Texan at the
National Capital lead him into dark corners
where he unexpectedly stumbles upon the
primal springs of power, and he does not
find them to be pure springs either. Mr.. Hoyt
has happy knack Of satriizing questionable
methods, and he gives this quality of his full
swing in ga Texas Steern Mr.. Tim Murphy,
OF this city, has made an artistic success in
the title role. Miss Flora Walsh and the
original New York Company, under the
personal direction of Mr.. Charles H. Hoyt,
will be seen at the Academy.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11
ABOUT THE PLAY HOUSES.
MIR. WILLARD SCORES A GREAT
SUCCESS IN WASHINGTON.

No Actor Since Irving Has Made a
Deeper Impression-The Bills for the
Coming Theatrical week--A Pleasing
Variety of Entertainment offered.
The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-10-11

III YOUR BACK ACHES,
Or you are all worn out, really good for moth
ing, it is general debility. Try
BROWRyS IRON BITTERS.
Z will cure ycc, cleanse your liver, and give
4 good 9ppetite-
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-05-12
1T WILL BE BUILT.
The North and South Line will
Certainly Be Constructed If
the People Along the
Line Encourage the
Scheme.

Mr.. 0. A. Crandall, one of the d.
rectors in the North and South line
in which Sedalia is 80 much interested,
has recently returned from q trip
down in Hickory county, where Of
course he incidentally looked after
the interests of the road. He thinks
the prospects for il being built are
very bright and that there will be no
trouble in raising the money as soon
as the preliminary survey and esti-
mates are made. He says that he
talked with a gentleman recently,
who has made a number of western
railroad contracts in his time, and who
is thoroughly familiar with the coun-
try through which this road is to be
built, and he assured him that the
line, including ties, 90 pound steel
rails, fish plates, spikes, etc., could be
laid down for S., $50 per mile and
that the grading, bridges and every.
thing could be put in place ready for
the cars to run over for less than CO..
600 per mile and that be would will.
ingly enter into a contract to do it
for that amount. The impression
that this is a hard country to build
through is not borne out by the facts
as discovered by the engineers, they We
laid out line on the prairies where
it can be built cheaply. The length
of line from Springfield TO Sedslia
will be about 120 miles according to
the present survey and the distance
to the river on the north Is so miles,
making the total length of
the proposed line in the neighbor.
hood of 10 miles. Mr..
Crandall thinks there will be no
trouble in bonding it in the neighbour
hood of $40, 600 per mile or s2,0O0,-
600 for the entire line as now con-
templated. He thinks if the people
along the Ae will give $1,000 per
mile and the right of way the road
will be built at once. From the ex-
pressions he has heard he does not
think there will be any trouble in the
country and very little trouble in the
cities. Sedalia will probably be the
worst place the officials will have to
with but he thinks the citi-
zens will realize the Importance of the
project sufficiently to attend to matters
here.
The engineers are not expected
here before sometime next month.