Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-05-04

..,..tratiou Of the Various Clauses IN bar
l'''' rows Definition OF wit.

r--rffSh divine, ana man OF oIlii'"H'
-. himself. has given the best dehnl'
.,, vet known, and he confesses that
..,f-sn ia consistent in one hardly knows
shat He says. in his old-fashioned
style
sometimes it ieth in pat alluSion
.,a known story, or in seasonable ap-
,rcatioo Of a trivial saying, or in forg-
rr an opposite tale. Sometimes 1t
,.avetb on words and phrases taking
.sv,ntare from the ambiguity of their
.,rse or the affinity of their sounds
.,metimes it lurketh under an odd SINH
r.rde: sometimes it is logged in a sly
..,,srion. Inn a smart answer, in a Quirk-
r reason. i'm a Shrewd intimatiOn, a
.,-- irony. luSty hyperbole, or starr
inc metaphor; sometimes an affected
...oo'icitv: and sometimes a preSump-
.-,., bluntneSS giveth il being. Some
SINE, it ariSeth from lucky hitting up
~. shat is strange; sometimes from a
tv wrestling of obvious matter to
- purpose.
r.rtthiS excellent2 Study each clause
Oh ind a witticiSm 20 match 10. l have
~,. r.ven the entire definition, but just
.-,rrh Co stimulate some one 20 look IL
.~ -,r himself. Aud here are few Otf-
tsrf Illustrations that come 20 me as 1
Az eminent Scotch clergyman hap
...sl r1 dine with some learned law
rs-, % the Edinburg bar. He appro-
..-...l TO- himself a large dish of
t-s...s upon which he fed vOraciouSly.
E-,sne. wishing 20 admOniSh him for
hi, fisc0urteSy, remarked;
Doctor. you remind me OF NeOu-
.ta3rerler I'm his degradation.
r.,r8s -his pat alluSiOn was causing
-,.~, OF laughter from the legal lights,
.-s -eyer,aed vegetable eater retorted;
saw. DO mind ye observation-disclosures?
Darb-le>, because l am eating among
tha 1ru,es.
QUESTION AND ANSWER.
The -sly question is often extremely
elective. sheridan, who was always
distressed for money, was one day hack
inc his face with q dull razor, when he
tgrned Co his eldest son and said
Tom. II you open any more oysters
with nv razor, TN cut you of with a
shilling.
Very well, father, said Tom, but
where will you get the shilling
AT dinner party in England the
host introduces to the favorable notice
9i the company, amid murmurS OF ad-
miration. a splendid trufied pheasant.
isn't il q beauly?" he says, doctor
S0-and-So gave it 20 me; killed it him
self"
"Aw-what was he treating it for?
SAYS one Of the guests.
"A smart answer" is quite as good
when unprecedented.
Il could write like Shakespeare II
had a mind TO-" said Wordsworth tC
Lamb.
Eyes, Il you had mind to, wa'
Elias quick reply.
DO YOU see anything ridiculous in
this wig?" said pOmpOuS little Judge
90 Curran.
Nothing but the head" was the re-
The "quirkish reason" is nearly allied
90 these.
And Able Boieau being asked why
ha always wrote I'm Latin, took pinch
o.. snuff and answered gravely:
"Why, for fear the bishops should
read mel"
sheridan gave rather a Shrewd init
nation 90 spuSter who insisted on ac-
compauyng him 10 q walk after sum
mer shower.
"It has cleared up enough for one,
madam, bat u0t enough for two"
The "lusty hyperbole" suggests one
incident % the life of the elder Adams.
Having grown cOrpulent in his old age,
and adverse 20 exercise, his physician
advised him 20 ride on horseback. He
consented to do so. Accordingly, a
large. lofty trOtter was led to the door,
and the venerable ex-PreSident mounted.
BE rode down the avenue TO the street
az a smart trOt, then wheeled and re-
turned. Being asked if he did not in
tend 10 ride any further, he replied
NO, I would as soon ride Noun
Ararat In an earthquake.
"A crafty wrestling of obvious matter
90 the purpose" is illustrated by Burke!
witty response TO Dr.. Robertson, who
apologized for DR.. JOhnSOn'S jokes
s.ike the rebukeS of the righteous
which are like excellent OIL
'Oil?' said Burke. Yes, oil Of
vi,r oil.
IRONY AND BLUNTNESS.
Diogones INDUCED in a tart irony
when, observing over the door of
sch0Olroom this inscription: Let nc
deceiver enter here he quietly asked
How does the teacher 60 imp
Almost an of Dr. JohnSOn'S witticiSmS
come under the head OF presumption,
bunncSS.
One Of his rough repartees has been
put In rhyme by Peter Pendar:
In Lincolnshire a lady showed our friend
A grotto that she wished HIM 10 commend
QuOth she: "HOw cool in summer tins
abode +"
Yes, manam, answered Johnson, '1or d
to1dtn
For a startling metaphor take sgd
-ey Smiths when he saw little girl
r1op down and stroke the shell OF a
,r.le.
Why are YOU doing that, Belle@' he
asked.
To please the turtle"
Ny child, you might as well stroke
tae dome OF ST. Pau's to please the
dean and chapter
will give one instance Of the ever
ready wit OF DR.. Barrow himself. Meet
Ing the Earl Of Rochester one day the
witty peer exclaimed: doctor, l am
yours TO the Shoe-tie," to which the
clergyman replied MY lord, l am
WYNN. .. . ~. $500 " -rhn moon com