The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1891-01-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


-Brown-"Can sell you 5 horss?"
Bagnall- What's the matter with
him?"-Brooklyn Life.
An active foot ball season at the
colleges is shown by an equally ener-
getic sale Of arnica in college towns
II do like crying childrenr'
- The bachelor said sand why, >" M
friend asked, SHOULD you like themr'
They're sent out when they cry"
In Spain the barber shears donkeys
as we'll as men. In America the barber
shears dudes as we'll as men.-St Jo-
seph News.
AT twenty man thinks he knows it
all; at thirty he merely thinks he could
have known it all If he had tried.-In-
dianapolis Journal
In the market coffee is said to be
strong, and growing stronger. But it
isn't that way in the restaurants.-Sa-
vannah News. &s#a% ~:
When a man succeeds in saving
$4,000 he regards himself as rich man,
but after that he gets poorer all the
time.--Atchison Globe.
-Incurable. Officer = ''He's pretty
wild, sir. Thinks he owns tn world"
Justice whats his business?'' Officer
He's been janitor of downtown
Office building. Judge.
; Husband "For heavens sake, what
is the natter" Wife Cropping desper-
ately under the bed)-'T have lost my
Observation-Disclosures Republi-s
can.
Want of Who'll esome and adequate
food docks one-quarter, one-third, or
one-half from the natural term of the
industrial force for all those who come
to mans estate. -;
"A mans idea OF married happiness
Is having wife who will devote all her
energies to secure his comfort A wo-
mans idea OF married happiness is hav.
ing husband who will love her alone and
tell her Of it once in while.-Somer-
vile Journal. St',@
-Rose-"Ah, you're ready for tho
ball, are you? 1t makes me think of
our schooldays to look At you. You
we're always so clever at composition"
Maude-''Yes; but what reminds you Of
it?' "You still make up so well."-St
Joseph News. .."
Win mans friendship by telling
him to-day that he is the smartest one
in his family, and you will have to tell
him tomorrow that he is the smartest
man in town, and the next day that he
is the smartest man in the State.-Atch-
ison Globe.
Good for Both.-Peddler- whats
that air bird in the cage, ma'am?"
Farmers 'wife-"That's a bald eagle"
Peddler-''You don't say! Better try
bottle of my hair-restorer, ma'am. It's
good for man or beast-N Y. Ledger.
Entitled to pass: President K. M.
t. R. R. (haughtily)-"Who is this
James w: Bungstarter who wants
pass?" Private Secretary--''Great cap
italist OF Sheboygan-president. of the
Knocash Natural Sand. Bank-lessee of
the" President (hastily) -"Send him
an annual. thought he was some poor
devil who couldn't pay his y."-West
Shore.
1t is said that scientist somewhere,
after two years. close practice, has got
so that he can exchange ideas with his
dog. And now if he will buckle down
for few years more and get on speak
ing terms with an old hen, so that the
news may be carried to the hen-roost
whenever eggs are worth fifty cents a
dozen. he will be very apt to get monu-
ment with gilt letters on it-Ram's
Horn.
First lady-"Come, let us 20 and
see the play tonight. It's society
drama, and everybody says it's just
lovely" Second ditto: "Why not go
down to Tating & Biasfeld's opening of
Partisan costumes? Well see just as
much and more, and then, you know,
we don't have our attention distracted
by the conversation of actors, which so
abstracts from the effectiveness of the
drama" First lady: 20, yes; that'n be
ever so much nicer than the theater.
Strange didn't think of it myself
Boston Transcript.