Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-09-20
OUR BOARDING HOUSES
HAVEN OF BACHELORS AID OLD MAIDS
tssag People with Appetitss-Ihs ssrng-
Siss Of the fresh fsang Mantle
Dead Game sPsrs aad
NE 0iaay GiriA

large boarding houses or family
hotels are an absolute necessity IN large
citiss. and in this particular Grand
Rapids il remarkably well favored.
Very few people who live In their
own homes realize what an army Of
people are fed and lodged in the pala-
tiai boarding houses OF this city. IL is
angular too now they are centralized.
The warwick, the Livingston. the Ven-
dome, the Irving. Fletcher Place, and
the Brunswick are All within q stones
throw OF one another and each - close
70 the center OF business. The West
side has several, OF which the Derby
and the Melrose are best known. The
patrons or these houses are largely
young men who are employed IN the
commercial houses OF the city, artists,
musicians, lady stenographers and pro-
fesslonal people generally. In addition
10 these there are families who are not
domestic IN their tastes and who prefer
the ennul OF the boarding house 70 the
cares OF housekeeping; and others
where both husband and wife are ell
gagged IN some business or profession.
The LAndiadiss' DemAia-
The types one see about boarding
house are interesting 70 study. The
landlady attracts general attention Tor
she is usually the head center OF the
business, and il is upon her watchful-
ness and care that the success OF the
house largely depends. The boarding
house keeper has been malIgned and
iampooned almost as much IS the
mother-in-law. While she. Is regarded
with aversion by the young man who
wants to fiirt with the waiter girls, and
the impecunious transient who - try
ing TO sneak his trunk out OF the house
10 escape paying his bill; the boarders
Who behave themselves properly and
pay their bills occasionally have very
little fault TO ind, as rule. The aver
age man II, as much out OF place III the
proprieto.ship Of boarding house as ,
duck IN an arid desert.
The boarders, whose sojourn in the
house is continuous, generally group
themselves into congenlai lotteries when
they meet in the dining hail. The
young clerks and the quick-witted,
brlght-eyed typewriters drift together
by q sort OF natural affinity and their
irrepressible mirth is q heavy cross for
the group of bald-headed bachelors
who sit at the next table.
They Eat Like Anacondas,
The young people always have some
person IN the group who IS never
failing mine of jollity, and while they
usually eat like Anacondas, they oil.
est like ostriches and no harm comes
OF 1t Sometimes b fresh young man
or y snippy maiden who feels above ner
rr iundings. gets into the circle aud
plvduce . temporary cloud, but they
Are quickly sent 70 coventry and move
on. The fresh young man is an un-
bearable nuisance. The first time he
comes INTO the dining hall he is badly
ratified, for he Imagines that everybody
Is staring ut him. His necktie gets on
top OF his collar. one shoe squeaks dis
cordantly while the other clumps DIS
mally, his hair stands IN seventeen dis
tinct directions and his bushes would
discount q cbromatrope. When he
takes the bill of fare his hand shakes
violently. the waiter 10 pausing for his
order, but the incomprehensIble COM
pounds are mostly Greek 10 him and
with trembling voice he finally tells the
girl to bring him some of that and that
and that stuff and hopes he has not
made complete guy OF himself. Next
DAY be begins to brace up so that he can
look the waiter IN the face. The third
day he smiles sweetly at her. The
fourth day he smiles at all of them and
bawls so that he can be heard all over
the house the fifth day he puts his
arm around the girls waist as he begs
her TO bring him another egg, and at
the end of the week the porter may be
seen kicking him down . back alley.
Amusing Old Bachelors.
The group of old bachelors is an
amusing picture. They are bald, SOL
emn looking creatures as . rule and
wear immaculate collars and shirts aud
cross-eyed necties- They cit down very
hard in their chairs and acknowledge
each others presence by short nod
and q grunt. They also kick q good
deal about their food, but eat in sol
emn silence until they are pretty well
filed. Then they discuss politics, tar
liz and such enlivenIng subjects and IL
= baby should happen to set up q wall
IN the ordinary, thu looks of disgust.
glowering rage and ogreish malevo-
ience depicted on their faces are some
thing terrible 20 see. At another table
will b group Of dowsgers OF all ages.
Some Of them will be beautiful old la
dies with snowy hair ana silvery voices,
out of whom all the gfossncss of the
flesh seems TO have been purified, leav-
ing something that is more charming
than any superficial beauty and more
lovabie than the most polished artii-
eisl manner can possibly be- Others
viii be dyspeptic and cranky with
whom nothing is ever right and the
overflow of their illnature ~ a constant
dsmper upon the spirits of their unfor-
tunate associates.
Migratory Visitors.
There are certain individuals who
are ostrsclsed BY the community. The
fsshy looking man who wears . big
diamond and red nose 10 one Of this
class. He comes TO his meals with
breath like . distllery and winks ct
the servants with 40 air of utter aban-
don. The fact that he 10 usually heard
tumbiing no stairs ~ unearthly hours
Of the night does not add 10 his popu-
larity. The unsophisocated young
ladies think that he must be delight
fully wicked and long 20 know more
about him but they are usually quelled
By their wiser msmas before they sue
eeed in their folly. The gay and fes-
tive Trass widow - alternately regarded
A : delightful creature and baneful
bariisk. she is demurely pious, on
the outside but she can dart swift, ely
slsuces through the crowd Of faces
ana land them with unerring aim INTO
the syss OF parties whom she wishes %