Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1891-07-04
THE OMNIBUS.
Pressed for time-Mummies.

thougnb they should stop Spoonlng ana
take up study.
Mr.. Gould cannot deny the impeach-
ment that at one time in his career he
was poppin' Jay.
The merchant may know nothing Of
the pugilist, but he has daily struggles
with the priee-fghter
If you don't want people to look al
ways on the dark side of life give them
an occasional peep at the other side.
Every heart knoweth its own bitter
ness. Many man who looks happy
Is wearing shirt his wife has made.
Tommy-Paw. what is fame?' Mr.
Figg-Fame, my son, Is something a
man makes money out of after he is
dead
Before we were married, " said she,
'his displays of affection were positive
ly overdone. " ''And now?n They are
very rare"
If you have found some one who
knows how to scratch your back just
where it itches you have come pretty
near finding your affinity.
An agricultural editor says that the
best article he ever saw on milk was
cream. Some city people think thaS it
is not very widely copied
A. 1 hear that you are going to
marry widow with SO 900. B.-You
have got things mixed | am going to
marry SO, 900 with widow.
Milieent-What do you think, Maud?
Mr.. Bullfsh has proposed to me. Maud
We'll | always thought he'd marry
anybody who would take him.
If you are told that you resemble a
great man say nothing. 1t may be
that the resemblance will cease the
moment You open your mouth.
He (taeetiously) And do you think
baby will resemble me, wife? She
{tartly)-I shouldn't wonder; he keeps
me awake at night often enough.
Grand opera comes high. doesn't
it?" said her husband, referring to the
price of admission. Not very high in
the neck?" she replied, glancing at one
of the boxes.
One thing | ought to tell you before
you make up your mind to marry my
daughter; she sits all day at the piano. =
'.Oh, don't mind that at all if she
doesn't play
Teacher-Correct. Woman is in the
feminine gender. Now the sentence
speaks of a young woman in fashion
able attire. What gender is attire?
Bright Boy-Masculine.
She-My poor dear father knew
Washington so intimately, and / myself
was born on the 22d of February, so of
course l feel like-like- He (help-
ing her out)-Like relic.
Amateur-Why is it that all English
actors have such a long stride9 Re-
formed actor-Methinks the reason Of
it Is that the railroad ties are placed
Further apart in England than here.
= Her levity aside is thrown.
The world she deems a sham
In fact she has so pious grown
She won't eat deviled ham.
He is welded to his art, z sfE1
Hicks. apropos Of Sketchy, the artist.
you're wrong. He pays too much
attention to his art to be welded to it.
He is engaged to it, said Mrs. Hicks.
scornfully.
why, hello, old boy, haven't seen
you since you were married. What
are you doing now? Travelling for the
house, / suppose?" mo, not exactly.
Since the baby came l have become a
floorwalker.''
First Actor-You never introduce
your wife to any of your gentleman
friends. Why is that? Second Actor
Because it would be of no use. None
of them will elope with her. I've tried
it time and time again.
An eye to the future. Il don't see
how you can be pleased at the idea Of
your brother marrying her. She's SO
last and halum-scarum. She'll never
make a good wife" ooh, but she'll
mako such delightful chaperone."
There is one thing about YOU,
dAuber, that can't understand. !"
said Schumble. ''What is that. old
fellow" THAT with your uneoualed
taste in art you should have such
large collection of your own pictures. !"
Mrs. Porkly-I often wonder how
people manage to understand each
other in France. Mrs. Gotham-How
absurd. Mrs. Porkly-I don't think
it absurd at all Both my daughters
speak French and they can't understand
each other.
Somebody has computed that il
thirty-two million people should clasr
hands they could reach round the earth.
When young man is in love he does
not need to have more than one person
clasp his hand to reach around all the
earth contains for him.
Countryman (buying a new suit OF
clothes) Pears to me, Mister, that these
pantaloons are too short. Lowenstein
Wy. my friendt dot vas our special
style for suburban residents. You don'd
hat to roll dhose clodhings up and look
like Won of dhose silly dudes.
''Wilt thou take little smack with mep,-
They loitered by the sailful sea-
Then dropped her lashes modestly