The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-10-08

TT ! \ \
At TEE ELEVATOR.
have never heard that ron encouraged
young scribblers to indulge In writing to you
by answering there tiresome sheets by return
mail, as, undoubtedly. you were prompted to
do. Unknowingly make the experiment.
How would You advise young man OF q
literary bent, and possessing . keen sense for
that which IL unusual or humorous2 How
shall he find the market without money or in
duence? Is humorous writing remunerative?
Can you cite an instance In regard to your
gaining literary notoriety7
Please don't dispair at this. It Il nearly tho
Introduction OF what bore can do. Possibly
!. too, shall be eminent some aay. and In lieu
Of this great impossibility will close as the OPP
portunity presents. Please comply. Very sim
cerely, $50
The above letter is written by young
man who needs information about a.
severely as any one with whom l have
ever met up. l put three asterisks in
place Of his name in order to shield his
family. This is only specimen Of one
kind Of correspondent out of q list Of q
great many hundreds. Ipause to won
der where they all come from.
Passing over the first paragraph,
which is kind, dattering and fulsome,
let us come at once to what Mr.. Aster-
isk-Mr. Jack Asterisk, If you please
really wants to know.
In the first place, | do, as often and as
lucidly and pellucidly as l can with
what few talents l may embrace, an
swer the inquirers who have something
to inquire for, If am able to supply the
information. First then, Jack, you
should know what You want to inquire
for, and, secondly, you should know how
to spell It. Then any one would be glad
to drop the information into your recep-
tacle.
Undoubtedly!
Now comes the query, "How would
you advise young man Of q literary
bent and possessing keen sense for that
which Is unusual or humorous"
Iwould advise such an one to avail
himself Of it and enjoy it. Few people
are blest with keen sense Of tho IN
usual It should be fostered
You ask next, "How shall he find the
market without money or infuenceY
He will naturally have great difficulty.
The market for keen sense Of the un-
usual was never more panicky than it is
now. Without money or influence you
win have quite long search before you
win get your price. To tell you the
honest and never dying truth. Asterisk,
there is no market for keen sense for
the unusual or humorous. It is good
thing to have, for your life will be longer
and sweeter for having it. Don't mar
ket it at all, any more than you would
market your keen relish for what is good
or beautiful You doubtless want to
find q market, not for your keen sense
Of the unusual, but for your ability to
describe such things in an entertaining
way. and you cannot deliver the goods
at present, fear.
Learn first to write good English.
Write at q mark for eight or nine years
and let up on busy people, II you please.
! once knew young man who decided
to 60 to New York and to try to get q
job on the metropolitan press. He had
practiced on country paper for sew
eral years, and had received cyclope-
dia and . reversible wall map as q re-
ward for his genius and toll So he said
to himself: II will 60 to New York.
This life is killing me. It is time to call
halt" He did not take . trunk be-
cause he said it would only be burden
to him, and one hot day when the sun
was bringing out all the hidden fra
GRANGE that q century has concealed be-
tween the heated paving stones Of News
paper row, he found the door which led
into the inhospitable dwelling Of the
great newspaper upon which he had de-
cided to bestow himself.
Everybody about him looked SO cool
and superior that he hated himself be-
cause he perspired SO. and he knew that
even the elevator boy looked down on
him. He felt homesick, and when he
took out his handkerchief to wipe hil
brow he accidentally pulled out little
red pincushion that his sister gave him
when he started for town. It smote on
his heart very heavily, Mr.. Asterisk, and
A0 COAupAAC0 JAC WCASOAA0 AC 6OnG4OAAy
got at home with the chilly glare he got
when he came to town.
When he mustered the courage, be
took deep breath and stepped into the
elevator; the elevator boy pushed him
back and asked him whom he desired e
SEQ. Then it came over him that he did
not know the editor and that, probably
he never would. The elevator boy CAV
him blank replevin to fill out, stating
whom he wished to see and also on wha
business, whether friendly or otherwise
whether married or single, and If 80, HOY
| 1t agreed with him.
He sent this up to the editor ana %
word that the editor had gone 10 Homo
| lulu to start branch Office. but WON
| be back in the spring.
He did not believe this So he 6nosre
near, and pretty soon he saw clergy
man with the manuscript Of . sermo
under his arm and heard him ask to De
| Nh. Must. This gave him an idea q