The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-06-18
HE sNoRED.
And Thereby Lost Wife and For-

Ana Thereby Lost Wife and For-s
tune.
He lives in Buffalo, and is employ-
ed in a Main street insurance office at
q far-dlstant salary. I mean by that
that he will get $25 per week in the
far-dlstant future. He wears good
clothes, however, belongs to the best
circle, and a month ago met Brook
Ign heiress who was visiting wealthy
friends there. It seemed to be a case
OF love p. d. a., and inside Of week
all other young men in Buffalo had
to content themselves with sitting on
the fence as she passed by.
The other day the heiress received
a telegram to hasten home, as her
apopletic father had received a
"shock" while talking to an alderman,
and the far-distant young man volun-.
teered to see her safely landed on the
home doorstep The start from Buff
falo was made at night, with berths
in the sleeping car duly reserved, and
the Iporter sized the young man up
as good for half when he came to
apply the whisk-broom in the morn
Ing. The train rolled eastward on
schedule time, the evening wore away,
and the lovers finally squeezed hands,
babe each other fond "good-night'
and retired to their respective sweat
boxes to dream of the joys of the fu-
ture.
Half an hour of western New York
time rolled away to be heard of no
more forever, and the porter turned
down the lights and reported everv-
thing all O. K: and everybody asleep.
Then, as suddenly as a tailor makes
out a bill of $25 against a. debtor
seen going towards a depot with d
grip in his hand, there came sound
to arouse the 20 sleepers. 1t was not
the shrill scream of an elephant
hunted to his death, nor yet the
warning growl of a tiger as the hunter
faces him in his lair. No; it was
something misunderstanding cut,
made and trimmed after the latest
Paris spring style. Everyone under
stood the meaning OF that wild and
unearthly sound before he had listened
a moment. The far-distant young
man from Buffalo was lying on the
broad OF his back, his mouth was
open, his palate had dropped down
like the half of a cellar door, and he
was sailing wing-and-wing to the tune
Of
Whe-eW! Whee-ee! Ho-Whee-ee!
Whoop-ee!
"Porter!' called a dozen voices ut
once.
eyes, sah!'
tChoke him with a shoe! Jam g.
pillow into his rat-trap! Tiehis lower
jaw up to his nose!"
The porter went to the berth and
shook the sleeper, but he missed Just
one note and went ahead on a down
grade with:
"Bur-whup! Bur-whoop! Ah-ha-a-
"a! Hi-h-o-o-o! Whoop-e-e-e!"
"Blast his eyes!''
"Put him in hog carl"
"Shoot him with a boot"
And all night long, with only brief
intervals, that far-distant young man
from billowy Lake Erie tried to sing
his soul away through mouth and
nose, and the unsympathetic pas
sengers consigned him to Halifax,
Texas, Cincinnati, Chicago and other
desirable places of residence for small
families. He awoke in the morning
innocent and refreshed, and after the
use of palace car currycomb and a.
patent towel he went to meet his
charmer with:
"Let me hope that you slept as
sweetly as I did last night.''
eSir!'
"Why, Miss Blank Ida-what is
the matter?"
"Sir!''
"Why, Ida, p
'Sir! you have made a. mistake! I
do not know you! Go away, sir, or I
shall call the conductor''
And thus he gained and lost her,
and now, as the apple-trees put forth
their verdure and the bluebirds sing
among the lilacs, he smileth not and
is not glad. Earth's happiness is not
for him.-New York World.