The Colfax chronicle., 1891-05-09
A MAN UNDER THE BED
How My Search Of Forty Years
Was Finally Rewarded.

/ am an old lady who never was
married and feel as young and am
nearly as active as ever.
l suppose not having the care and
worry of a husband has preserved my
health and strength and-I was just
going to add-my beauty. for / still
have more than most women of half
my age with twice my experience.
And, while I'm in the humor, I'll men,
tion that I've seen sixty-five summers
though / know from my sprightliness
you wouldn't believe it.
Like every other spinster I've always
looked under my bed before retiring
for the night. OF course never ex-
pected to find a man there, and
wouldn't have been afraid of one if
there was, but somehow l got in the
habit of doing SO and kept it up uncon.
sciously. Likely the story of the old
woman who found one after searching
forty years in vain started me.
AS a wise precaution, however, l al
ways have weapon in my hand while
making my nightly examinations.
This weapon is solid brass-handled
and heavy iron poker about two feet in
length, straight and pointed at the end
and tied with blue ribbon to hang by
my bedside either at home or where /
make visits, for never travel without
it. Although you may smile at the
poker-or at me-still it is wicked
affair and liable to make a man more
crack-brained than before if his head
should come in contact with it, espe-
cially if its far end was heated to a
white glow and then pointed straight
at his nose, as have often dreamed of
doing.
Now, as you know what a dangerous
old lady am, I'll commence my story.
was on a Christmas visit at my
nephew's home in a country town. The
house, originally of good size, had been
added to from time to time until it
grew into large and rambling struc-
ture in which it was difficult for a
stranger to find the way. even in day
light. After dark it was mystery not
to be explored by any one outside of
those who lived there. 1t stood alone
among gloomy fir trees some distance
from the road, and seemed so hidden
that wondered how Santa Claus ever
found it.
Beautiful in summer, it was more so
in winter, set off by the snow and the
evergreens through which the winds
soughed SO drearily at night when all
was cold and black without.
arrived in the dusk on Christmas
eve, and the dozen or so of merry chill
dren gathered from city relatives were
having a lively racket, and making a
most delightful change from the ordi-
nary stiffness of the place.
When supper was announced, and we
all walked into the dining-room, don't
know what possessed me to lift corner
of the cloth and peer under the table
before sitting down; for nothing GER
tainly could have been there except the
cat. But did so-from force of habit,
of course, for i was quick-witted as any
of them-and that little unconscious act
set them all to joking at my expense
about women looking under beds for
robbers and men and other things
equally as foolish.
l didn't mind their fun a bit, and
laughed as heartily as the rest when nv
nephew wanted to know il / had
brought the poker with its blue ribbon
in case 1 woke up in the night and
found Santa Claus filling my stockings
Then, good-naturedly, inquired what
he knew about poker and how much it
cost him. at the club, and he was glad
enough to drop the subject before his
wife became inquisitive concerning it
and asked questions.
But the boys, particularly the big
ones, thought it was very funny, and /
suspected from then glances and whis-
pering together after supper they were
going to play trick on their old auntie
in spite of her bringing trunkful of
pretty Christmas gifts for everybody.
And, when escorted by servant maid
10 my room (which never would have
foun6 a1onol q - 70 bringing the