Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-04-09
Very Indignant Irstman-How ingalls, Made tn:
Pr's'!'liil Bee Buzz Around AllisOn-Prank
Lawlsr's Verbal" Documents
Joke Oh the Orgsn-grindsrs.

loI CillIcuSulp llSlcUcu dtLtullNely.
You soemnly swear, said the clerk,
that you will abJure all allegience to
all princes and polentates, more espec-
Tally TO Victoria. Queen Of Great Britain
and Ireland, Empress OF India 'Phat's
that you say? said the candidate irrita-
bly,. The clerk repeated the oath, and
when he reached the words, Victoria,
Queen OF Great Britain and Ireland, En-
press Of India, the little IriShman lost
patience and clustered out: TO -
with her. Whoever had any allegiance
to The -- old hagY"
INGALLS, JOKE on ALLISON.
An episode has Just come to light
which occurred at banquet in Wash
ington three or four years ago in which
Senator ingalls, played curious part
The dinner was given by w. }. Arkell
To BERNARD Gillian, the caaicaturist to
enable the latter to meet the public
men OF the day and to give them per-
Spnal acquaintance with the artist.
| Fifty or sixty Of the leading men OF
both parties were at the table. Among
others were Senators Allison and In
gals. The latter had been peculiarly
facetious and full OF repartee. being
especially sarcastic in referring to nu-
merOuS Of his fellow Senators and
their Presidential aspirations. Sena-
tor Allison had set out TO make an
impression on the guests OF the evening
and was talking earnestly with Gillian
on some public topic on which ne was
displaying hi, profound knowledge
when Senator ingalls, slipped behind his
chair aud with his mouth gave an eX-
ceedingly clever imitation of the buzz
! ing Of a bee, marking with his long tin
ger circle back aud forth around
AliSon'S head in a manner to indicate
that IL was the Presidential bee that
was besetting the Iowa statesman
When the whole table had been At
tracted TO his antics ingalls, called out:
at will never sting you, Allison, but
keep right on hoping" The shout Of
laughter which went up was joined
in by the victim OF the joke as heart
lily as by his fellow banQueters.
\ CHEEKY POLICEMAN DISCIPLINED.
The Washington policeman. taking
him on an average. is, perhaps, little
more cheeky than his brothers OF the
baton in other cities. A few nights ago
policeman but recently appointed,
while on duty, Strutted into a very
promlneAt uptown club and walked
back into the dining-room with an air
of one who is monarch OF all he surveys.
The members OF the club--at least some
OF them-were taken by surprise at the
display of pOlicial nerve. The officer
took of his belt and carefully laid it on
a chair, pulled box OF cigarettes from
pocket and proceeded to enjoy smoke
He snapped his finger at A waiter and
ordered him to bring "a good stiff drink
Of good whisky"
The waiter asked il he was member
OF the club, saying by way OF apology
that none other could be served thore.
Nav. amt member, remarked the
guardian of the peace, "but I've got
privileges every where on ny beat
This did not seem 10 satisfy the walter
and he walked away. All this time
prominent official of the Police Depart
ment, who is one Of the most popular
members Of the club, was taking in
the situation. Walking up to the officer.
the prominent official introduced him
self to the policeman. The expression
of horror on the officers face |
was picture to behold. He lost all in |
tereSt In his cigarette. He stammered |
out halfway excuse, promised never |
to do so again, and with decidedly |
sheepsh look, stole from the club into |
the open air, where be breathed deep |
Il l. - 70 tn tho a nj |
sode, though small in itself. will have |
healthy influence on the Washington |
police so far as intrusion on clubs are |
concerned.
Frank Lawler, Of Chicago. who is
taking such an active interest in Carter |
Harrlson's Mayoralty campaign, is, |
perhaps, the best, being the least con-
scientious, perpetratOr OF Irish bulls |
extant. Frank could knock out Sir
Boyle Roache or make Mrs. Malaprop |
ashamed of herself. He conyulSed a |
Chicago audience few nights ago in |
the course OF labOred speech in de-
nuuciation Of a political opponent by
slapping his trousers pocket and |
exclaiming defantly: II have |
verbal documents here To
prove that he j. = liar and rascal
This, perhaps, was beaten by the state
ment the Hon, Frank made TO your cor |
respondent here last winter. lie sui- !
fers considerably from nervous pr0Stra-
tion, and On one occasion during the |
last session did not appear in the House |
for several days. When he returned 10 ]
duty your CORES pondent met him and |
asked the cause OF his long absence. |
"Oh," said the Chicago statesman, Il
had another attack OF my old enemy, |
nervous proStratiOn."
Although there are few men better /
known In the United States than w. K. |
Morrison, only few know what the X. |
in his middle name represents. II |
stands for Rails. The Colonel tells 4 |
good one on himself regarding IL. His 7,
mothers name was Rails aud she was |
Of a Virginia family. When Co.Gncl !
Morrison first came to Congress he mad /
z seat bY the side OF Eppa IIunt0n Oi ]
Virginia. One daY be told Iiuutor that
be had relatives IN Virginia aud in
Hunton's dIsri",,. What are their
uam"s, asked Hunton. Morrison told |
him Rails"
There are two families OF that name |
In my district, said HuntOu; 'One lives |
in Culpepper county and the other in |
Fairfax county"
"Weil, my people came from Cuipep- |
per" said Morrison. HuntOn thought |
heavily for about minute. then lean |
ing over to Morrison, very confidential
ly said: If were in your place. |
would say that my family came from |
Fairfax, because they are tho best fam
lily Of the two
oR6AN-GRINDERs PLEASED.
No class Of people ia the United |
States have been better pleased over the
cooling off Of the Italian crisis, so'oaiied, /
than the Italian orgaa-s grinders Of Wash |
ington Tor rev days they were aiarid
OF their lives, and some Of them confined
themselves TO their abOdes. The patrl-
otisn Of the colored citizens Of the city |
during the heat Of the diplomatic diff |
Guilty was very spirited. -Four or hye
young colored men were coming down
Fifteenth street last Thursday after
noon, aud encountered two Italians
working a street organ industriQusly.
frbav e,orra1 - haar the music and