Los Angeles herald., 1891-05-10
A CIRCLE OF Absurd MIsADvENTUREs.

TTauCiSco papers.
ACIRCLR OF ABSURD MISADvENTURES.
Any one who enjoys roaring farce Of
the "nifty," nonpareil order, must have
laughed himself into conniption fits at
the developments attending the sup
posed seizure of the Itata at San Diego
1t would have been thought that if any
effort whatsoever had been made to
seize the vessel something like an ade-
quate force would have been employed
to that end. United States Marshal
Gard, of course, quite naturally comes
in for good deal of criticism. 1t was a
matter of common notoriety that the
captain of the Itata intended to leave
the harbor of San Diego. He so de-
clared himself, and he is understood to
have said that be would get out of the
harbor if there had to be fight. 1t
takes some time to get steam up on a
vessel like the Itata, and according
to the San Diego papers and
common rumor black clouds were
pouring out of the smoke-stacks
of the Chilean vessel for hours,
becoming denser and denser. Finally
the captain pulled off on his gig, the
boats were hoisted on the davits, the
anchor was weighed and she steamed
out to sea with single deputy United
States marshal on board. Meanwhile
United States Marshal Gard was leis-
urely proceeding to sea on a tugboat
with four soldiers on board, in an alb
surd quest after the Robert and Minnie.
The friends of Marshal Gard say that
the fault in the premises does not lie
with Tie marshal but with District At
torney Cole. This official, it is asserted,
first ordered the vessel to be seized,
then countermanded his order, and then
again ordered the seizure. According
. to this account, District Attorney Cole
went down himself to San Diego and
took charge of the bungled nego-
tiations. Following the current
story, he started off to the vessel in a
small boat, taking the ground that he,
as district attorney, had the sole author
ity in the premises. After the boat had
gone some little distance it began to
rock under the gentle influence of few
waveets, and Mr.. Cole concluded that
he had better remain in the city, sug-
gesting that maybe there were some
kilograms which might require his at
tention. Why Mr.. Cole failed to libel
the Itata, and why Marshal Gard failed
to station company of United States
soldiers on board of her, it is hard indeed
to imagine. The situation would have
impressed even Lord Dundreary as pre-
senting complexities which fellow
t'cawn't find out, you know"
Conuudrums are very easily propound-
ed, but one OF absorbing interest to
most people is why, when the United
States government made up its mind to
interfere at all with the movements OF
the Itata, the cruiser Charleston was
not Immediately ordered to the bay of
San Diego to detain the Chilean. The
cruiser is fast, and could easily have
made the trip in thirty-six hours. 1t
would have made a sensational incident
gratifying to the national pride to have
had the splendid new ship arrive just in
the nick of time, and it would have
given an impression of vigor and prompti-
tude which unhappily attaches to no
movement of our foreign affairs under
this Jingo administration.
To cap the climax of absurdities, we
now have an account of the seizure OF
the American schooner Robert and
Minnie, and her detention in the port
of Wilmington. The notable circum-
stance about this seizure is that the
vessel is empty. When asked what
he did with his cargo Of arms the
doughty Jack Tar who commanded her
replied, "The Robert and Minnie is an
American vessel, she has not been out
of American waters, my papers are all
regular and it is nobody's id bust
ness what 1 did with my cargo"
1t is evident that this sailor is
no school boy, but has been around
the world little. He has drawn, in
his lucubrations on the deep, deep wis
dom from its solemn depths. In fact,
like his brother tar of happy memory,
Captain Bunsby, he deals in "chunks of
wisdom, solid chunks"
If ever there was ridiculous fasco
from beginning to end this Itata affair,
capped by the absurd Robert and Min
ME finale, is the one. If we are to have
any standing with the nations OF the
world it would be we'll that we should
at once begin to recover some of our old
time national spirit and dash. The
general sentiment of the people is that
bunglers should be sent to the rear and
competent men brought to the front.