Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1891-04-23
From the Watervie Sentinel
A Fragment Evolved from the Dialogues
of Plato.

ihot' aooue the natuTe Oh JuStICe ana In
justice. and, secondly, about their relative
advantages. | told them, what l really
thought, that the search would be no easy
one, and would require good eyes,
Hdto's Rpubiic
Socrates-Turn this way; let us go to
the llissus and sit down in some quiet
spot.
Phndrus Lead on; ant when we have
found place where we may sit, | would
Ike, Socrates. to ask some questions about
our city agency, concerning which, many
strange rumors are current in Athens
Ana, first, can you tell me whence these
city agencies have their origin?
Soc.-l can, PhHdrus; they originate
from clause in our prohbitory law.
which was inserted for the purpose of
proving that prohibition does not pro-
hibit.' This clause may rightly be said
to have originated in Hell-as (Hellas) it is
distinctively Hellish in some of its results.
PhTd.-But, Socrates, for what purpose
is our Athenian city agency carried on?
Soc.-For the purpose of selling $50
gallons OF liquor year incidentally to
1000 healthy people.
Ph"d--And do these people never be
come intoxicated?
Soc.-Oh, yes they become intoxicated
incidentally.
PhT1.-Is 1t. then less immoral to be-
, come intoxicated incidentally, than to ar
rive at the same result In some other way?
Soc.-That. Phndrus. is nice question.
and the reply demands great discrimina-
tion IN reasoning; a man who gets drunk
incidentally Is just as drunk as man who
gets drunk because he likes it, but while
the effect on the body Is the same the
medicinal drunkard does not equally blunt
the delicate emotions of the soul, because
he gets drunk with the best intentions
PhTd Then the medicinal drunkard
does not abuse his wfel
Soc.-Oh, yeS-he thumps her on Satur-
days if she declines to go TO the agency
and buy his liquor, but this he does medic
inalv.
rhnd. And do the children of the
medicinal drunkard 60 hungry?
S"c. Certainly; they 20 hungry medic
inaly.
Phmd. But, Socrates. does the medic
lnal drunkard have a Cauterized stomach,
and hob-nailed liver, and a todly bios
som nose, and blcarcd eyes, and bad
temper and shaking palsy, aud heart
failure. aud snakes in his boots. and doe.
he prefer to 90 to bed With his clothes on
just like an ordinary druukard:
He has all these symptoms. Phu-
drns, hut his soul is all right, because he
only gets drunk incidentally.
PhWd. And are his chidrens solcs all
right:
Soc.-No. Ph"drus. frequently his chill
drcn'- soles are all wrong but the medic
inal druukard has mind above shoe
leather
Phmi-Can the medicinal drunkard.
then, inherit the Kingdom of heaven?
Soc.-lie can. but he would not be
happy there.
rh~d.-And why would he not be happy
in heaven:
Spc,-B Because there are no agencies
there
Phul.-Then, Socrates, gather from
what you tell me, that the medicinal
drunkard is not to blame:
Soc.-Dh, no, We do not blame the m IN
Sho gets drunk incidentally, and with good
intentions.
Phri-And do you blame the agent
who sells to the medicinal drunkard?
Soc. No Phpdrus, the agent is a CON
Sclentious man and only sells incidentally
We do not blame the agent
Phui. Can the agent 20 to heaven?
S"c.--certainly he can, but he might
not be happy there.
BIZ happy In heaven:
Soc Because the other angels might
not care to associate with conscientious
rum>eller
PhWd. But, Socrates, do you blame the
purchasing committee:
soc. oh, no; we do not blame the pur-
chasing committee. They only purchase
incidentally and the liquors are sold med
iclnally. and the proceeds act incidentally
upon the public purse.
Phmd. And can the purchasing com
mittee 20 TO heaven?
Soc c.-Certaiuly they cdn, but they
might not be happy there.
Phrd.-And why should not the purchas-
ing committee be happy in heaven:
Soc.-For this impression can give no
definite reason, Phu.drus, but have some
times feared that the purchasing commit
tee were not built for angels.
PhTd.-rhen, Socrates, do you blame
the city government:
oc.-No. PhTdruS, we do not blame the
city government. As soon as they heard
the slightest run.or of complaint against
the agency they were willing to invest-
gate
Phmd.-And can the city government 90
to heaven:
Soc.-They can, and there are reasons
why they might be happy there
Phnd.-And why should the city gov
eminent he especially happy IN heaven:
pC.-Because the city finances are short,
and there Is treasure laid up in heaven.
pfw1 -Rn', Socrates, it must be that
you blame some one. Who. then, is it:
Soc. Yes, Phudru>, YOU speak truly.
We blame the Woman's Temperance
League.
phTd-And why do you blame the
Wpman's Temperance League?
Soc Because they have not logical
minds and can not distinguish the differ
ence between medicinal drunkenness and
beastly drunkenness.
Phud.--And can the Womans Temper
anCe League 90 to heaven.
Soc.-They can, but their advent there
would give rise to great uneasness.
PhrI.-But why should these good
women cause such uneasiness in heaven
Soc.-Because they would Immediately
begin to reform all the other angels
w. c. T. l..