Nevada County picayune., 1891-01-15
HEAVENS GIFT TO MAN.

recent sermon to readers, the preacher of the Indianapolis Rams Horn. says: It is said that women IS heavens best gift to man. though, rcd noscd men can be seen on every street corner who sheer and twist up their faces in scornful dcrision when ever Uni. face is mentioned. But that woman is a prize-package hard to beat, is about as well established as anything outside of man in fat government position possible could be, and yet there sno deny lng the obtrusivc fact that this peer less jewel of the gods have not been apportioncd among the sons of men in strict accordance with the laws of impartial equity. Some men take the pleasing unction to their souls that they have been favored in the distribution above all the salt of earth, in that they have married the best woman who ever wore a hairpin or kissed q baby, while on the other hand men with 8 pitcous scarcity of hair will come forward and as firmly urge that they have been chiseled out,of their birthright and yokcd in bondage with a being who could give Satan the odds in any game Of his own choosing, and beat him out of his eyebrows on his own ground. Why this is thus is hard to deter mine as the origin of strength in but ter; but that is a good deal that way is as positively known among that portion of humanity who have devot- ed more or less study to the remark able changes in the status of flour barrel as that the color of the hair depends in large measure upon the bulk of the purse and its ability to hold man up in the hour of trouble. In the blind ventures of matrimOny nothing is certain but breezy conver- sation and familiarity with the hand writing of milIiner; but all men who have destroyed brain matter in studious observations of the ways of the dear creatures are agreed in the conclusion that good looks and small feet are not to be taken as an infallible indication of angelic qualities. You can't tell much more about women by the looks of her eyes and the shape of her nose than you can tell about the health of an egg by the appearance of the shell. A woman may look as pleasing to the eye as a drum major at the head of process sion on holiday, and at the same time have possibilities about her that will drive man to strong drink with a good deal of celerity shortly after marriage. And. on the other hand, a female with no more style about her than an old bonnet is just as like ly to turn out all wool and yard wide as a gosling is to come out of a goose egg, A woman may have big feet and small head, her hair, frecklcs, and nose out of plumb. and still have more than virtues enough about her to make a good stepmother, while the dizzy beauty who creates futter of admiration in the ballroom may have tongne with a razor edge, and disposition that will make man blad-headed before his teeth begin to decay. The fact is, you can't tell anything about woman's heart and other prob abilities by the size of. her waist or the shape of her eye brows. She may prove herself very agreeable compa, ny on Sundays evenings for a year or so, and inside of six months after the knot is ted make reason gasp and gurgle by her mulish conduct and back talk. The man who goes in pcrsuit of happiness and thinks he has found it in the shape of blue eyes and golden hair, without shading his eyes with reason and looking below the surface for sharks and sword fish, will wake up some morning with his:feet on the brink of chasm a thousand miles high, and regret tc the end of his days that he was mol born with cotton in his ears,
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