davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24
A FORTY DOLLAR JOKE.
How Physician Gets Even with Prao-
ticai Joker.

How Physician Gets Even with Prac-
tieah Joker.
If prominent physician over in the north
west hasn't got even with one practical joker
then it doesn't lie in the telling The physi-
clan lives in very modern establishment.
Not only Is there special night bell, but a
speaking tube connects the doorsteps with
the head of his bed. The practical joker has
had fun with this He has been coming
along about half past ! a. m. and standing
on the opposite corner and laughing until his
sides ached thinking how funny he was and
what good time he was having Then he
would cross over and ring the night bell and
howl up the speaking tube as if a whole regi-
ment Of mothers-n-law on the next block
had ten minute cholera and were dying by
the wagon load And the poor, tired doctor
would rouse out of his first sweet sleep and
'hello" down the tube Then the funny r,an
would say:
"Does Or. j live here?"
eyes"
"Have you lived here lcngY
For twenty years. Who are youY What
the blazes do you want!'
jest want to know why you don't move.
That's all Tai tar
And then the funny man bounces down into
tine street ana scoots home, where he laughs
for half an hour straight.
He didn't laugh half so much the other
night. The doctor was loaded for him. He
knew chat laugh and that yell, and be stuck
funnel in the tube and poured in two quarts
Of aquaforts, StaHord's indelble ink, liquid
I've and few chemical whffs Of torment. 1t
gursled and gurgled for one second and then
struck Dofunny in the mug, just as he opened
his mouth for another howl 1t came with a
thirty foot fall and a ten pound pressure to
the square inch.
lie swallowed a pint before he could get
his mouth shut and the impromptu hose
played away all over his face and silk hat,
and shirt front, and dress suit # was a roof
raiser, and curled him like coclroach on a
hot shovel.
1t will cost the doctor $40 for plumbing
hat he grins every time he thinks of it,
Washington Post
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24
Blue Ewes the Rest.

There is some reason for the admiration
generally felt for blue eyes. A connois-
seur in eyes states that nine-tenths of the
railroad men, pilots and others who are
selected for their keenness and correct
ness Of vision have blue eyes. Brown
eyes are beautiful. Gray eyes usually
denote intelligence, and hazel eyes be-
speak talent for music. The common
est color of eyes is gray and the rarest,
violet.-Dress.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24

l saw an old Indian, over go years of
age, apparently, following buffalo that
was just able to drag himself along with
three arrows in his side The old man s
culver was empty and he was impatient
to finish him. lie slid cautiously from
his pony, and, stealing up behind the
buffalo, sprang forward, snatching one
OF the arrows from his side and sending
It quick as flash into his heart. Il. d.
Plat in The Cosmopolitan.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24

Lady-And what is your Christian nameq
n-Ncbuchadnezzar, mum.
Lady-What a dreadfully long name.
should never be able to pronounce it if 1
wanted you in a hurry.
Coachman-Yer don't need to pernounce
nothin', mum. When yer wants me you've
only To stick Yer fingers in yer mouth and
whistle, and III he around afore yer can say
Jack Robinson. Yenowine's News.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24
Encouraging Extravaganee.

John Forth, a Minnesota man, Cvas digging
a well when il caved in on him. Two men
offered to fill up the well for IS, and the
widow sat down and figured the funeral ex-
penses at Sl4. She told them to goahead, as
it would save her So, and they were at work
when her neighbors interfered and compelled
her to the extravaganza OF exhuming the
body.-Detroit Free Press.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24

Caller-Why don't you try Christian Sci
ence for Fido' You know how much it did
for our baby.
Hostess-Yes, but | can't afford to fool
with the life of that dog. Why, he cost S45l
Boston Gazette
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24
80 Nonsense Ahnnt aim.

They We're talking Of death when one man
asked:
What were his last words?n
He didn't say anything" was the reply.
That's just like him" said the first man,
with an approving nod; there was no gas
about him. He was all business. Texas
Sftings
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24
Native Vegetable Products.

In visits to nearly forty tribes of Amer
lean Indians, DR.. j. S. Newberry has
found twenty-thrce kinds of native vege-
table products included in the Indian
dietary, besides Il great variety of nuts
and vegetables. -Arkansaw Traveller.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24

Eff yer jostle de bread pan de yeast
won't rise dar; so 'twon't do ter poster
some folks whilst dey be workin'.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1891-10-24

Mendieant-Is that you. TiIIvl

IlIY-Nes, father.
Mendicant-Well, run home and tell moth
er not to forget to deposit the money left
with her this morning, and to have duck and
green peas for dinner tonight clearing a
strange footstep.l Pity the poor blind Life
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15

practically as follows-of course as all Of
the parties concerned were anxious chat the
matter should be kept out of the newspapers
it was difficult to get the exact particulars
About 9 o'clock four or five prominent East
Jacksonville citizens called at the Travellers
hotel and insisted on taking one Of the
guests Of the hotel TO some place, he knows
not where, charging him with writing in
sultiug letters to prominent East
Jacksonville young lady. The gentle
man refused to go. claiming that
he was innocent Of the charge. but not
withstandlng his remonstrances the party
said that they had GOT the best legal ad-
vice and were determined that he should go
with them and apologize to the young ady =,
but the gentleman again insisted that he
had nothing TO apologize for, and again re-
fused to 60 The men then ate npte1 to
put him into a carriage, but several by
ISLANDERS opportuney interviewed and pre-
vented any such proceeding, and advised the
leaders that if they had legal advice they
should go about the matter i'll a
legal way. With this they went
away, but the way they looked
as they went showed plainly that
they meant to renew the matter at the first
time possible. The lady in question, it is
claimed, has no one to defend her in such
matters. and the gentlemen referred to
| formed themselves into a committee to
champion her cause IL is also claimed that
| the young gentleman had in some way
| taken advantage OF the young lady.
On the other hand, the gentleman says
that he is innocent of the charges made, and
is very willing that the matter be sifted to
| the bottom. He intimates that he knows
| more than is agreeable to the other parties
| for him to know.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15
The Best Resuit.

Every ingredient employed in producing
Hoods Sarsaparilla is strictly pure, and is
the best of its kind it is possible to buy. All
the roots and herbs are carefully selected,
tanned. So that from the time of purchase
until Hoods Sarsaparilla is prepared, every
thing is carefully watched with view to
attaining the best result. Why don't you
try it?-Ad.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15
BEAUFORT AND PORT ROYAL, S. C.

STEAMER ALPHA, Il. A. STRoBHAR.
Will leave every Tuesday and Thursday at II
O'Clock A. NJ. returning every Wednesday and
Friday. No freight received after 1920 A. NJ. on
sailing days. viii touch at Button on Tues
day and Friday.
Special trips to Button every Sunday at 10
A. NJ returning leave Bluffton at A. N. Mon
day.
For further information. apply to
G. H. MEDLOCK, Agent Katie's wharf
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15

activity
heavy q
tanning |
good b
receipts
veryea
sales RI
opening|
letiued
413 OAlt|
easy a
and god
while
the sal
|. and u
. easy al
1885 bal
| ing spot
| Middlin|
| Good m
| Middlin|
/ Los mi
/ Good OF
/ Ordinar
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15

TRAINS leave and arrive at Savannah by Standar
l. city time Time at Charleston 10Th meridian.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15

ii:@
N
ANA Charleston 7o m at 1913
n
q
IA a o.
-
aud
asdo d oLgES@
6ADsDEs superintendent MswsEy, 0sp AgHs
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15

chow DID poor Waters happen to get
lynchedf"
HE got into the flooded district, and some.
body spread report that he was a government
ralnmaker Puck
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-10-15
SUBURBAN RAILWAYS.
On and after WEDNESDAY, Oct. !, 1891.
SUMMER SCHEDULE
City &Saburban by. 6 Coast Linz R. R. Co.

For Bonaventure. Thunderbolt, isis OK Hope,
Montgomery and Beaulieu, CRY TINE.
The t345 p. m. train leaves from Second Ave.
nue. depot. All other trains leave from Bolton
street depot.
For Thunderbolt $40. 1000, 1l:o0 a. m, $50.
$40, 500, e:30 p. IN. Returning leave els, SEQ
a. m. 1900 noon, I:S5. 4:2O $3.50, Gas D. m
For Isle Of Hope 1000 a. M. $3.50, ts:45. $50
D. IN. Returning, leave 500, s00a m, l:03, $40,
$50 p. M
M S:45 p, IN. Returning, 1880 a m, 1880, sos
p m.
wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays only.
tSecond avenue and Whitaker streets
Trains leave Bonaventure minutes after
leaving Thunderbolt.
Saturday nights train leaves city 200 p. m.
See special Sunday schedule in Sunday Issue.
q. W. ALLEY, SupJ.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

The fumigaking can Be done IN few NM
utes, and all Of the moth-miIlers will be
Killed. Then close the doors and windows
q the room and all viii be we'll In some
g the large cities companies are formed
Tor storing valuable goods through the
winter, and they run the risk for . NOM
inai sum Of Keeping the fus and clothing
4 GOOD AxrfcLk
A fne article for present is home
made travellers friend, which consists Of
sort Of bag for holding all the utensils one
needs when travelling. It is merely fold
ing case made of gray linen. 1t has four
pockets. The first two are lined with oiled
sponge, wash-rag, comb, brush. tooth
brush and such articles The third
IS for . whisk-bro0m and fourth
for smaller things. such ~ needles,
pins, cotton and such like. To make
one get piece of linen twenty-five
inches long and twenty wide. Basic the
together and turn it. Then fold it up,
making the pockets eight inches deep. Di-
vide it into four pockets with basting, and
then cut out the shape of the flaps on top
and bind them with braid. The pockets
are then finished OIL, and loop of the
braid and button used for fastening the
laps over. Pieces Of the braid are sewn on
the sides to wrap around it and tie it to-
gether. Any fancy ornamentation can be
used on the outside, and fancy ribbons can
be used for tying it together. Such bag
IL very useful TO travellers and il thus
called 1.-THE Travellers Friend. -
YLowER LAMP SCREEN.
This is new kind Of q screen. Make q
large, full paper dahlia or hollyhock, about
twelve inches in diameter The flowers
should be made Of several shades of paper
to give effect, and then be fastened to a
pasteboard six inches in diameter. Cover
the back with green and mount it on an
easel. or fasten it with wire to lamp
shade. The easel can be cut from heavy
cardboard and strengthened with wire.
Cover it with plush or silk and it is ready
for USE The design is . novel one and
the screen useful as well as ornamental.
RosE CAwPBIII.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06
CULTURE OF PRIMES.
Letter From IN OFcus Island Fruit
Grower On Varieties and Sorts.


Grower On Varieties and Sorts.
EAST SOUND, May 2, 1891.
To TIE Enron: Mr. l. B. Anyways letter in
the issue of the PoST1NTELLIGRNCER per 18th
ult-, opens mp more than one question, viz:
thst Of soil and location - well a variety, for
prune growing. In regard to variety, it il I'M
doubtedly true that Mr.. ANYWAY is correct
% to uniformed opinions at large, but still there
are some good specialists: this would apply also
70 apple and pear culture - well a. to pruns
growing. The Italian prune, 20 called. is more
properly named the Fellenberg, being an in
habitant of Flanders, Belgium and France,
rather than Italy. In the countries in which
it 10 grown, II 10 also known - the Qustsche
d. Italie, tn origin having been in that country.
The German prune or Quetsche has always been
one of the most famous of plums for drying in
central Europe. In addition to these two the
Perdrigon blanc, the blue Perdrjgon. the Prupe
d'Agen or Prune d Ast and St Catherine plum,
have been noted for their excellent qualities for
drying. The Perdrigons have not been 20 far
given any fair trial in the West, 20 far - the
writer knows, at any rate mot in
Oregon and Warrington Tho four prunes there
fore demanding attention are the Fellenberg
or Italian, the German, the St Catherine plum
or true silver prune and the Prune dAgen or
small French. There 10 also . so-called Hun
garian prune sold BY nurscrymen, which ID not
. prune and which II certainly not the Hun
B4Ilaus WHICH - uaEk purpaAsu Otock IIulS Oh
medium size with . thick blue bloom All
growers should be warned not to buy ths Hun
gariau so-called, as Il il dismal sour failure a.
. dried fruit; II sells well green fruit, from
it, large sire and beautiful reddish purple color
The German h mot popular pruns, partially on
account Of IT. coarseness and slight acidity, but
1t Il very probable that the true German has
not been tried, there being scores OF seedlings
20 similar in appearance to the true fruit that
none but an expeft can tell the difference before
drying. Il II . very heavy bsaxsf and deserves
when true topame . high place amongst drying
piums Nn1An AANn ~ Import The Saeiety feu9
Europe h9foA vsAre convinced that il u not
worthy Of being grown. The st. Catherine,
which Is in many places confounded with
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06
OF THE HOME.
ut the Only Ones
en- Trim Hats.
! WINTER CLOTHING.


1T change has been coming
~ ~ millinery trade. The once
ujness Of trimming hats has
cod upon by amateurs until
nals are menaced with entire
1he woman that was ones
With one or two hats . season
: new and dainty one for
= and special occasion. Nil
- = 3 gift TO most women, and
Gn1y enjoy selecting the pretty
<oeconters, which are exhibited
ennning effect. but they find il
Sose and refreshment Of body
r 70 home and retrim their
NJ hat-ffames after the
- Amateur millinery has
5 popular s'fad," end Il il
r Such m extent that nearly
- trims her own hat and shows
Ilm1nss the creation of her own
= 5oDte. The very rich, and prob
11Wy poor, whose time preludes
- enjoying such work, are now
purchasers Of full trimmed
~ yeaf the sale Of hat-frames has
sdented, and the demand for
uws and ribbons has likewise
The large dry goods stores
- ! speciality of these goods, for
~ - always keep . poor assort-
- which the amateur hat-dresser
~ material. This 10 probably
r. ) purpose, bat the enterprising
- houses are supplying the need
1lne their counters With bswilder-
80 n dainty frames, ribbons,
~ bird plumes. The amateur
= elect the frame and trimming
IS suit any dress that she NAV
- ~ poeeession.
rhet s difference in the price! The
6ir6e from 81 nm to any amount that
800 nlEord. The ribbons. flowers and
llnmines viii average another dol
"a -. ana then the dime snent IA
i.r fha hat. Total nrice for : nev
- ~ retail nrice 81 the zane hat
- f,immed Nv soms .nrofe.s;cr.I
80 8 : clesr csin az sa5 wh;ch can
iIss1rI, = some other dresa material
8 a. er.~-erst;cr hnt 49, f-c,,
-. l;ttl. vcm.ns. r.mo-.ranrr
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

EAST SouxD, Wash, April 10, 1891.
DR.. Jordan, Dear Sir-I have been tax
ing your medicine two weeks last Satur-
day and there is grand improvement in
me in every way. My stomach is so much
have had before for three months. The
Ia grippe cough is almost entirely gone;
bowels much more regular than they we're
and | am gaining strength faster every
day than thought it possible for rae to.
Respectfully.
c. ARMSTRONG.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06
FOR LIFE Is NOT TO LIVE.
But TO Be WE'LL
WHArcoN, Wash, March 5, 1891

wHArcoN, WASH, March 5. 1891.
DR.. Jordan. Seattle, Wash. Dear Sir-My
father-in-law was able TO 60 ont on the
street four days after he commenced taking
your medicine: six days after he went ten
blocks and surprised some of the people
that thought he would not be able to 60
OUT of doors again. -Four doctors in this
town thought he never would be able 20 go
ont again. The swelling was nearly all
gone in four days. He has slept well the
last two or three nights which is some
thing he has not done before for several
months. II he gets cureo shall do all
can to advertise your medicine.
Yours respectfully.
FRANK F. FISH.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

BUCKLEY. Wash, April ., 1891.
DR.. Jordan, Dear Sir-I received your
medicine and have taken it ever since. /
am feeling ever 50 much better. The pain
through my kidneys has all left and the
dizziness has nearly all gone. Please send
me what medicine need and oblige
]. w. DAVIS.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

Pond Extract is al
ways enclosed in buff
wrapper having | land
scape trade mark.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

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The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

----
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scort
re the
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by 4
center
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The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-06

Dces you, back ache! Q. K 7. VIII cure you
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29
rHREE.STORY DWELLING.

Its Cost Estimated at Thirty-Eight Hum
dred Dollars.
A three-story frame dwelling with
basement and stone foundation, includ-
ing ell the modern improvements. and
that can be erected for thirty eight
hundred dollars. The dimensions from
outside TO outside Of this dwelling are
Ithirty-eight feet frontage by forty
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

Jones started out Gshing and landed,
as usual. in the market
"Now." said he to the dealer. TN
stand here and you throw me the fsh.
So that | can say truly that caught
them; see?" and he chucl1led softly
lie got home and his wife admired
his catch To his hearts content AZ
breakfast he smacked his lips a. he
loosened some of the faky flesh and
said:
Now. hope there viii be no moro
fun made of my exploits az . fisher
man"
Indeed" said his wife, II am sure
ron are the most remarkable fisherman
in the country. You are the first man
] ever heard of who could 60 fishing In
fresh water and catch sea fish -
Washington Post
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

bule connects the kitchen with the re-
ception hall.
The dining-room and kitchen are con-
nected by a pantry. The pantry and
kitchen will have maple floors and will
be wainscotcd three feet six inches
high.
The second and attic floors are to be
finished In yellow pine. The second
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

Hucre has smiled on the explorers In
The field Of electrical science. No srien-
ti6e body in the country has 50 many
milfhonaires as the American Institute
81 Electrical Engineers At the top OF
the list is Alexander Graham Bell,
hose profits on the telephone are
represented by eight figures Next
comes Edison with a seven figure for
tune. Brush. Of electric light fame, and
Etihu Thompson. whose financial
future y perhaps brighter than any Of
the others Just now. are more than
N liionsires. Frank !. sprazne was .
irruior ofsrer in The United States navy
six years axo lie - now living In the
frS.Dzson which va buiit foe the Grants
IIi~ company sold oat % the k<ii-on
soFnpany for e. one oos. ard half IT "A
went 20 ne Inventor. Frank T. I'nfe. ~
Nes York, ard seors 81 ofis~fs have
irsk~g~nss~at f5rssnes Ma~t a tiiss~
usea were selesrsph oE~ss'.sfs and
ssoss - tfs~ss ls~esB theis experiments
lnx sod stass witl.5at q aollaf o.
I.oass ssss~ Dsaoes.s