Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-07-16

otherwise I would not have allowed my
self to suspect, and though it will never
cease to cause me to desire your happiness,
must now cease to prompt me to hope for
my own, for it would be Idle in me to pre-
tend that what / have untnbentienauy
found out is not perfectly clear to me. Andi
though l have no right to comment upon
it, / can at no other time better ask You to
forgive me for being SO injudicious. AL
low me to express to you, my dear Miss
Jones, my greatest respect and give you
my best wishes; and though cannot help
framing suspicion as to the identity Of
the happy man, promise you tbst win,
not even think Of con2ratulating him until
your engagement Is actually announced.
Forgive me once mere for my lack Of self
control, and pray do not judge it too hard
ly."
This was too much. Ny feelings during
this petite but really heartrsnding speech
were so conflicting that, when he stopped
and looked at me gnsSHly and sadly,
could hardly help sercaJing with laugh
ter. But was still actually afraid of him,
and could only stammer out the truth.
"Oh. dear me, Mr. Hall" said. "Oh, l
don't know what you'll think-but Pm
not engaged to Mr.. -, I'm not engaged
to anybody-and," added desperately,
Pm not going to bel''
For moment or two he did not speak,
and the expression of his face hardly
changed, but he gave slight start when
first spoke. Then he said, in his deepest
tones:
"Then am happy that you are still in
such a position that l may offer you my
hand and heart sincerely Here he broke
off for minute and then went on to say
something about that being hardly tho
place in which he had looked forward to
asking me to be his wife-but could not
listen to him. Heavens! What a fool l
felt myself to bel And how noble he wasl
And yet, despite my admiration for him, l
was very much ve1ed with him. l could
not understand it! Why, why, when he
found that the girl he liked had been airt-
ing outrageously with ANOTHER man, did he
not give his bride rein shake and say
adieu forevermore' This was his abomin-
able punctifiousnessl This was hts consist
ency! How beautifully he had entangled
himself, first by his insane habit of ex-
planning himself, and then by his more in
sane habit of refusing to take tbs fair ad-
vantage of the gamer 1t Is true that he
may not have seen ANYTHING particular
he may only have inferred from my blush
ing that something had happened-I pro-
test don't know to this day exactly what
he thought, and l cannot beside with any
satisfaction TO myself. But l remember
what my own thoughts were hkel could
hear the chattering of some people behind
US, and their inane laughter Gathering
about the rocks. longed to sit down just
where l was and cry! But shook myself
together. Come, Ethel JonesW said |,
have you no force of character at alp"
At first felt as if l had swallowed tie
mucilage bottle, but 1 motioned to Mr.
Hall, who was still speaking slowly and
gravely (heayen knows what he was sayingD
and began brsvely enough.
"Oh, Mr. Hail." said, eff admiration
and respect could make me want to marry
you, it would be easy to say yes. But you
must not think of me any more 1 cannot
marry you-you would not be happy if l
did,
Here paused-for want of matter. Mr.
Hall was listening gravely; he made
slight gesture of protest. Itried tor speech
once more-I had no idea of what was
going to say. But l restrained Mr. Hall by
convulsive waves of my hand, and present
ly got my voice, only to lose it again. l
gasped out a few words-bade him to for
get me-said that 1 didn't know what he
would think of me, and desired him not to
say anything more to me about tt-"for."
said ], with great gulp, ''my nerves won't
stand it" And l walked up to the Light
house as fast as possible.
Thus did Ethel Jones, the clever, the
self composed, the perspicacious Ethel
Jones, fail utterly in her first crisisl / can
fairly say that with any other man it
would have been different; but Mr. Hall
magnetized me, and by the superior weight
of his character compelled me to exhibit
myself in my baldest colors. During the
rest of the afternoon l kept laughing fee
bly, to myself while thinking of the picture
that should have presented if had given
way at the critical moment-seated in
stagnant rock pool at the feet of Middleton
Hall and weeping bitterly! l was terribly
Disguised with myself; longed to be able
to go through it all over again SO that
might try to come of successful, yet at the
same time could not help feeling that |
had done something vaguely heroic in
throwing away such a chance. In fact
do not know which was the stronger feel
ing-my vain regret or my unwarrantahle
pride.
After thinking it over for some days
came to the conclusion that after having
betrayed m Yself by that wretched blush l
had done the best thing possible in refusing
him instead of trying to keep my hold on
him, for l felt confidene that il he had ul-
tiznately married me it would have been
oaly from his sense of honor, and he would
have been miserably unhappy to think he
was marrying a firt. And now, said to
myself, it's all over, once for all, and can
begin my pursuit Of Penn Charter with
out being distracted by thoughts of any
other man. But though Iagreed with my
self I was not by any means satisfied.
When returned to town I got together a
copy of Matthew Arnold and beautiful
little set of Macaulay's works that Mr.
Hall had given to me, and sent them to his
club with a note saying that in view of
Whist had occurred did not feel justified
in keeping them. Ireceived brief answer
thaaking me for my note, and telling me
that he was going to Heidelberg for the
winter to study Roman law. So, with
sigh, in which disappointment and virtue
still struggled for the mastery, I bade him
adieu, and he rode away.
But to return to Narragansett and Mr..
Charter. When came to begin my cam
paign in earnest found that I was by no
means as confident as had been. Perhaps
the adventure of which have just been
speaking made me doubt the soundness of
my foresight and judgment. l certainly
felt nervous and perhaps depressed. and I |
was a little at loss how to proceed. Luck
lily Mr.. Charter did not come to Narragan-
sett for several days after Mr. Hall had |
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