The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-03
BRIGHT BITS.
A GIRL may do her level best,
Use powder by the batch,
And yet she'll tail to 60 off right
Unless she finds a match.

And yet she IL fail to go off right
Unless she finds match.
-PhiLadelphid Times
First Boston Maden-O, mamma and have
been awfully busy to-day
Second Boston Maiden-Do say And what
has made you so busy?
h. b. M.-We have been getting out and clean
ing our spring epectacles.-JeHeIers' Circular.
Mrs Porkly-I often wonder how people man
age to understand each other in France.
Mrs. Gotham-How absurd.
Mrs Porkly-I don't think it absurd at all
Both my daughters speak French and they
can't understand each other.-Hdrper'S Bazaar.
Wife-John, how is it that up to the last few
days You had not smoked any Of the cigars l
gave you at Christmasf
John-I tried one Christmas and concluded Il
them as a means Of Standardization Boston
Herald. .r-.
LITTLE Boy lin crowded street car to pretty
little girD-Il give you my seat, If you'll
take it.
Little Girl (whisperng)-Tm ever SO much
obliged, but you shouldn't offer your seat until
you are ready to get off, cause people will
think you're from the country.-Good Netca
BEEDLE-I hear you finding a good deal of
fault with others, but l never heard you say
anything about your own family.
Creedle-Of course not. The fact is, life is SO
short don't have any time to think about my
own shortcomings. It's as much as 1 can do to
look out for the faults of others.-BostoB Tran
script.
"WHAT's the matter, DenisH' said a Washing
ton man to the porter in bis hotel, who was
standing in the rotunda, gripsack In hand, you
are not going away, are your"
Yes, sir, - was the reply, ''Oi'm goin' west"
"What for?"
"Wel heard mimi expert that wor stop
pin here say that gold Gem in quartz in places
out there. and think I'll have a gallon or two
before Iget back. - Washington Post.
WIcKLEs-Well I've left old Bouncer
Toks-Inde I'd!
Wickles-Yes; couldn't work for him any
longer. 1 found out he was an incendiary.
Ticks-An incendiary! That's d very grave
charge
Wickles-I know it, but can prove 10.
Wickles-He has just fired me-Boston Cour-
Ter
FAIR CusToMER-Is tEis really antiquef
Furniture Dealer-A-er-modern revival and
er-evolution of an ancient court style, madam
Fair Customer (doubtfully)-What kind of
wood is it,
Dealer dmpressively) Madam, this
is the wood that poets have raved over when
abiding TO the music of nature it is the wood
that first greeted the eyes of the weary Pilgrims
at Plymouth Rock as the mighty trees rich in
verdure, bent beneath the snow; it is the wood
that even now attracts invalids to the forests
where it grows. 1t is pine, madam-genuine
plne.-NetC York Weekly.
TRAvELER-How do you like the appearance
of this part of the country?
Chance Acquaintance-Like itP l detest it.
The people are ignoJ ant, degraded and filthy
Upon my word. l haven't seen a sensible man
or a respectable woman since / came here
They are hogs, sir, simply hogs; boastful i'm
pudent, besotted and ="
Another word like that, you insulting prig,
and I'll knock the top Of your head off, What
part of the country raises such men as your
"Sir. am an Englishman."
81 beg your pardon. I am proud and de-
lighted TO meet you, sir. When are you going
to write your book about us''-Chicqgo
Tribune.