The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-09-20
A UNIVERSAL TOPIC.

A London paper, Ttd-Bits recently
awarded prize for the best definition of
money to the author of the following:
An article which may be used as universal
passport to everywhere except heaven, ana as
a universal proYider of everything except hap
piness.
There were many hundred competitors,
great many of them expressing the same
general idea as the above. OF this one it
may be said that it is more smart than
true. With a tongue in ones head and
money in his pocket he. may go anywhere
except to heaven, so far as ordinary trans
portation is concerned, but there are many
places he can't get into, though he had all
the money in the world 1t has been said
it is harder for camel to go through the
eye of needle than for rich man to enter
the kingdom of heaven, but this means
entering the kingdom on the sole &C
count of his riches; and the same
rule applies 10 a number of mundane
things. Genius, learning, wit, CONVERSE
tional powers, engaging manners, have
taken many one where wealth could not
take him, and exalted him TO stations that
money could not buy. Beauty, grace, in
tellectual gifts, tender and amiable DISPOSE
tons have done the same for the other sex.
II happiness includes health as an excep-
ton to what money will provide, the defnf-
ton is defective, because q happy spirit
often defies the ravages of disease con-
quering physical pain and shining radiant
over all the ills of life. Yet it is very true
that money cannot stand in lieu of good
conscience, nor ''knock out' the old adage,
''be virtuous and you will be happy"
But, to be less serious on our subject,
money is a great thing for commercial,
social and domestic purposes, and every
body seems to be after it. One
of the It'd Bits prize seekers says it
is hard to get, easy TO spend,
awkward to borrow, unpleasant to lend,'
another that it is "a power which the wise
use, the foolish abuse and neither refuse,''
a third, 1.-THE rich mans faith, the poor
mans hope and the good mans charity"
This last, many will consider better def
milton than the favored one, since to make
money q representative at once of the
trinity of faith, hope and charity is GER
tainly poetic idea.
lid Bits gives a great number of the con-
tributions, of which we select few more
Palm oil.
Devils dust
Omnipoptent dross
! A childs tear-dispeler.
The dust that blinds all eyes.
The travellers best pocket companion.
The honey-pot thut has all the world for flies
The only altar before which all mankind wor
ships.
Money is that which has eagles wings, ant
yet cannot mount so high as mans desire.
The father independence, the mothers sat
isfaction, the sons snare and the daughter
blessing.
The god of the miser, the plaything OF tht
rich the Joy OF the middle classes and the enY,
of the poor.
The best friend OF the masses the mainstay o
the classes. the grand aim of the lassies and tn,
ruin Of the asses.
Everybody, except perhaps the statisti
clan or the political economist. who writes
about money, is disposed to be disrespect
full, but there are few in point of sarcasm
who have ever surpassed MILTON
And what was this ailurement, dost thou ask
a dust dug from the bowels of the earth,
Which, being cast into the fire, came out
A shining thing that fools admired and called
God.
And yet this despised, cold, unsentimen-
tai, speeches., heartless thing will trans
fer friendships and every outward courtes,
in life. We once saw a souvenir card OF
which was embossed the cast of guinea
with the words beneath: Keep you
friend in your pocket"