Telegram-herald., 1891-02-02

ridiculous ~ times. remarked al ala
timer 81 sweets lasi evening sslhess
fellows vic arc always drawing PEN
piolafes ol tue aenrssiis q othe1s, over
assumed names. and tossslag theta ul,ola
the suffering public. Should be called
down. just lasagne oommos every
day egotlst. VITA morals concealed
under Vel ri hypocrisy, leesnFing
olnet people on temperance ana kln.
aIed virtues It's like ask sag assn IA
hate hls own mother, h<cause star MAS
better aud pnrer than he Is. They
make me tired. these hlg beaded
ehnmps. AID | should think TIE papers
would choke them off and ne felapsed
into q silence thai seemed 81 indicate
thai further complaint Was chokea hs
indignation. IL i passing strange how
very little people understand the pro-
Vince ei newspaper after ali.
s'Nas, said Mr.. Eassmsn "a the Rev.
pr. Prudent, the new minister, nAa
was paying his parlshlonef a friendly
flslt. you are unQuesilonaniy right /
40 not believe ln being over stern wIA
children. Now mine treat me a. they
would an elder brother ar playmate.
No scampefsng upstairs when they hear
ny latch Key tllfn IN the door. Not
much. Make yoar home cheefial r
that's my motto.
A iroMsy haired youth of some SIX
summers appeared on ihe the scene al
this lunesure. Alter eseng the & sFgg-
man critically FOR moment he broAe
out with
SAY, pa, what's lsyy'
Az olnHous frown settled npoa the
brow OF the indulgent parent ar be re-
Piled "A Jay, my son, ls a rather show
bird. having a low, erecllle crest os
feathers aud ''
.But, pa, they can fly. can't they
Certainly. my boy They are Noted.
too. for their propensity 10 chatter, aud.
for instance, 20 ask foolish questions
The frown deepened - the Toy went
on
"But how can they fy, pa, without
any wings
"My son. | think ! heard your ma
calling you few moments ago"
.'lcs, pa, I'm gong. only as / heard
you tell ma last nigifi t.iat oar new
minister was a regular Jay, | 1nst
wanted o. come IN here and see whether
he could iiy. Say mister 10 the aston
ished clergyman. you amt got any
feathers. have YOU
There Was a sudden rush on The part
of the indnlgent parent. followed by
the sudden disappearance OF the youth
iul inqulS tor. Then came a series ot
discordant houls from the hall beyond.
MY dear SIR" observed the parent
upon cniering the room, ''Rngie l
admit that ana kind and indulgeng
parent-whyF
At this po;ni the front door was
heard 20 slam violently. The minister
had disappeared, and now Mr. Easy
man is taking about renting pew u
another church.
"a knowledge Of the art Of SELF
Tense has been useful 10 me on :. re
than one occasion, said we'll known
local traveller al the Morton last even.
ing" Once when IN London Was try
ing 10 find short cut through aonl
back streets, and suddenly found ai---
self in a narrow and vary disreputabe
looking stree. where ciotheswcre haaa-
ing out 10 dry on lines stretched acres
from house u Eouse.
suppose niy tail hat. frock coat and
kid gloves attracted attention. for had
not proceedca tar before Il piece OF cab
bagc from one OF the windows landed
on my hat, part Of "A carrot Lat me OF
the back, aud IN egg which seemed io
have been laid by a hen that was not
healthy broke JaSt IN front II my feet
and splashed GA my pateLi leather boot.
then / was jostled 10y two hulking
blackgusrds who, when / politely "a.
quested them 10 refrain from n rcpciit-
ION OF the same, not only used ianguaee
more expressive than elegant, but
nified their intention OF punching "a
head unless paid them money. AZ
one of them put hIs fist close 10 mysatc-
IN tire atening manner.
] immediately ct out with my left,
catching him fall on the nose. IL was
a nose and II half--a real Israelitlss
ose-and oh, what full-blooded man
he must have been; down he went ike
n ninepin. and without moments ioss
of time / treated the other TO a right
handler on the jaw, and he rolled over
bis PROSTATE companion. And then
walking brIskly along the street lost
no time IN seeking more civilized re-
gions where one can walk unnoiefted.
"Did You ever notice." remarked
lady last evening, that when a dane
ing floor ~ crowded, the ebortcst men
are always the ones who seem % be IN
the way? For some uDexplainshle
reason they are continually humping
against the other dancers. and seem
Ingly forget there arc exceptions 90 the
rule, rs there are 10 all rules. out II
you'll only notice some time you viii
lind out that what ] say - about
right
IL IL hardly necessary 20 say that the
young lady vas in conversation with a
gentleman who stands over ak feet ia
nis stockings
The other day one Of the clerks at
the Morton House remarked. az a fire.
9uent visitor 10 the hotel INSCRIBED his
name on TIE hotel register, 81 Nil a.
sicn you 20 room u. TIE commercial
man almost gasped for breath az be rx-
claimed. No you won't. I'll sleep on
the Office floor or ~ The WISH roornrstbef
than retire ~ room IS" The clerk
with merry Twinkle ia the eve rang
the bell 10Y and handing him kes
said, "ffow the gentleman % 80. Y
Afterwafd the clerk sad. "If'e a fact
not generally known 90 fhe outside
world. that there are but few hotels n
the country thst have rooms nun
bered u or 1f3. Half The time they
would be- unoccuped. 50 sDperstitious
are TIE travelling public"
---~S~ 49,
Ee~pB.s Vie Cr~du Good
Idtt]sbert-I<t me have go fhis