The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-26
WAIITNG Foa MARK TO DIE.
Eumorist Twain Tells how His 5kele-
ton is Mortgeged.
Fron1 me T1b c,,,,ficf,I Esr1

From the Pharmaceutical Era.
Mark Twain was present at the banquet
of the National Wholesale Druggists Asso-
cIation at its meeting in Washington, aud
related the following story:
About a thousand years ago. approx
mately, was apprenticed as a printers
devil TO learn the trade, in common with
three other boys of about my own age.
There came to the village long legged in
dividual Of about 10, from one of the in
terror counties; fsh-eyed, no expression,
and without the suggestion of a smile
couldn't have smiled for a salary.
We took him for fool and thought we
would try to scare him to death. We went
to the village druggist and borrowed a
skeleton. The skeleton didn't belong to the
druggist but be had imported it for the
village doctor, because the doctor thought
he would send away for it, having some
delicacy about using -. The price of the
skeleton at that time was $50.
We borrowed the skeleton about Q o'clock
at night, and we got this man-Nicodemus
Dodge was his name-we got him down
town, out of the way, and then we put the
skeleton in his bed. He lived in a little one
stored log cabin in the middle of a vacant
lot. We left him to get home by himself
We enjoyed the result in the light OF
anticipation, but by and by we began TO
drop into silence; the possible consequences
were preying upon us. Suppose that it
fr1gbtens him into madness, overturns his
reason and sends him screeching through
the streetsl We shall spend sleepless nights
the rest Of our days. Everybody was afraid.
By and by it was forced to the lips of one
of us that we had better go at once and see
what had happened. Loaded down with
crime we approached that hut and peered
through the window.
That long-legged critter was sitting on his
bed with hunk of gingerbread In his hand,
and between the bites ne played a tune on a
jews harp. There he sat perfectly happy,
and all around him on the bed were toys
and jimcracks and striped candy. The
darned cuss! be had gone and sold that
! skeleton for IS. The druggists $50 skeleton
was gone.
We went in tears to the druggist and ex-
planned the matter We couldn't have
raised that $50 in $50 years. We were get
ting board and clothing for the first year
clothing and board for the second year, and
both Of them for the third year; but the
druggist forgave US on the spot, but he said
ne would like us to let him have our skele-
tons when we were done with them. There
couldn't be anything fairer than that; we
spouted our skeletons and went away COM
Portable.
But from that time the druggists pros
perity ceased. That was one of the most
unfortunate speculatlons he ever went into.
After some years one of the boys went and
got drowned; that was one skeleton gone,
aud tell YOU the druggist felt pretty badly
about it. A few years after another Of the
boys went UP in balloon. he was to get
IS an hour for it. When he gets back they
will be owing him 100000.
The druggists property was decreasing
right along. After few more years the
third boy tried an experiment to see II a
dynamite charge would go. 1t went ali
right. They found some of him, perhaps a
vest-pocketful; still it was enough to show
that some more of that estate had gone
The druggist was getting along in years,
and he commenced to correspond with me.
/ have been the best correspondent he has.
He is the sweetest natured man ever saw
always mild and polite, and never wants to
hurry me at all. l get letter from him
| every now and then, and he pever refers to
| my form as a skeleton, but says: "Well,
| how is it getting along-is it in good re-
pairln
got night rate message from him re-
| cently-said he was getting old and the
| property was depreciating in value, and il
l could let him have a part of it now he
would give time on the balance. Think of
| the graceful way in which be does every
| thing-the generosity of it all. You can
not find finer character than that. 1t is
the gracious characteristic of all druggists.
So, out Of my heart wish you all prosper
ity and every happiness.