Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1891-01-31


materialistic, unpoetic, unsenti
mental and sublunary generally
that it's hard to get into thei
heads the idea that "man shoul,
not live by bread Alone" ant
even under such moralizing, spir
itualizing, and etherializing in
huenccs as the continual prcsenc,
of the Blue Grass Blade, thei
baser appetites seem to demand
such gross pabulum as bread ant
butter, and even meat and coffee
and sugar and extravagances Of
that sort. Yes, and there are
even cases on record among print.
ers where they want even tobacco
and beer.
These things, of course, they
cannot obtain from the dealers
in these articles without some
valuable consideration, a "quid
pro quo," as the lawyers call it
that is something that tobacco
chcwers have to give for their
quids-and money, either metal
or mere "fat" stuff printed on
paper, has gotten to be the oval
liable consideration" that all of
these dealers want, and the
printers and newspaper workers
in all departments say they must
have these things that these deal
ers have and so they have a reg
ular habit of looking to me to
stake them, and then they get the
butcher to steak them, and the
second steak absorbs the first
stake, and then the printer alb
serbs the second steak, and it be-
gins to appear to me that ulti-
mately the retroactive effect of
this absorbing process will absorb
me, unless l could get up some
kind of a back action arrange
ment that will in turn stake me.
OF course no heightened NOR
alist is willing to intrude upon
the spiritualized nominations of
such people as read Prohibition
newspapers, by mentioning any
thing so gross as money.
So that | think | have devised
a plan by which we can run this
paper without any money, if /
can get my friends to help me,
and can once get my plan into
good working order.
My idea is to start an Ethical
Society somewhat on the plan OF
Max Adler's in New York, and
David Swing in Chicago. They
are all the rage now. | want to
supplement the ideas OF these dis.
tinguished gentlemen by a demon
stration from the case of DR..
Tanner and the fellow that has
lately beat his record, that it is
not necessary to eat more than
once every forty five days.
| want to get all of these print
ers to join this society, and OF
course some means must be de-
vised to keep them happy and
contented while they are forego-
ing the ordinary lndulgences of
mere physical appetite, and es-
pecially in the initiation of the
system until they get used to it.
1t is, of course, possible that
some deaths may occur from this
radical change in habits, but hui
man life has had to be sacrificed
at the shrine ofevery new thought,
and as type setting is likely to be
done exclusively by machinery
anyhow before long, it would
seem especially fitting that print
ers should furnish the sacrifices
in this instance.
Now my plan is this. l want
to get my friends to let mp on me
tor a while as the theme of their
eulogies, having it understood
between us that it does not mean
any failure in the appreciation of
my paper and me, and that 1 am
not to get hurt in the feelings
about it, and, instead of this,
write eulogies upon the mechan-
lcal get up OF my paper. and
poetry about the pretty girls who
told it and put it in wrappers and
fix it tor the mail.
You need not say anything
about the niger that hauls it up
to the new postotfice about a mile
away, in a little wagon.
We would not admit him into
the society anyway, and | can
pay him in money the old fash
ioned way. It's hard to get these
ethical ideas through a darkey's
skull.
You see, as it has been, these
printers are bound to read all
these eulogiums on me when
they set them up, and of course
they know that they take
. ,,,n,,,,n.t ,,o,t =, Al ~ 49,