The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1891-05-10

OF the above description, men who "get
on by means of enormous impudence.
seli-assurance, audacity and plausible
But if they have patience and hold to
the right the gentleman will succeed
ana the adyenturer will fail. No such
man lasts long. Give him rope enough
ana ne will soon hang himself 1t is
not necessary here to refer to the eti-
guette of clubs. They are self-protect-
ing: A man soon learns their rules and
limitations. A man of honesty and char
acter seldom gets into difficulty at his
club. II his club rejects or pronounces
against him, however, 1t is social stigma
which 1t Is hard to wipe out. A young
man should lose no opportunity of improv-
Ing himself. There is q fine instruction in
works Of art. He should read and study
IN his leisure hours and frequent picture
galleries and museums. A young man be-
comes the most agreeable of companions if
ne brings keen, fresh intelligence, re-
nned tastes and desire to be agreeable
into society.
Success in society is like electricity. 1t
makes itself felt, and is yet unseen and in
describable. There is such thing as an
absurd success with little merit behind it.
But We generally find that men have
worked very hard for this sort of success.
1t Is nice thing if man has some ac-
compilshment, such as music or q pleasant
trick of elocution, and to be good dancer
Is almost indispensable. Yet man gets
on without any of these.
1t is "work-a-day" world that we live
In, and the whole formation of our society
betrays it. Then dress plainly, simply
and without display. Their servants dress
better than they do, in q way, and yet
nothing is SO distinctive as the dress of
gentleman.
It is as much q costume of nobility as If
it We're the velvet coat which Sir. Walter
Raleigh threw down before Queen Eliza
beth.
And it may not be inappropriate here TO
say word or two as to the minor morals.
In addressing note to a lady whom he
does not know well, Tilden should use the
third person as follows:
'sMr. Tilden presents his compliments to Mrs.
honor h@ With sheir
pany at theater party in the evening of April
3. at the Chestnut street theater r. s. ". p.
III South Market Place"
impressed with the writer's coat of arms
or some favorite device, and delivered by
private messenger, who should wait for an
answer. In addressing q letter to q gentle
man the full title should be used: walter
Tilden, ESQ.," or, first name not known,
a. Tilden, ESQ.,, never .Mr. Walter Til
den:" If it be an invitation it is not ETH
In writing in the first person Tilden
must not be too familiar. He must make
no elisions or contractions, but Till out
every word and line as if it were pleas
ure.
1t is urged against US by foreigners that
the manner of men toward women par
takes of the freedom of the age, that they
are not sufficiently respectful; but if care
less in manner American men are the most
chivalrOuS at heart
At ball q young man can ask friend
to present him to lady who is chaperon-
ing young girl, and through her he can
be presented 70 the young girl. No man
should. however, introduce another man
without permission. If he is presented
and asks the girl to dance, short walk is
permitted before he returns his partner to
the side of the chaperon. But it is bad
manners for the young couple to disappear
for a long time.
No man should go into supper room
alone, or help himself while ladies remain
unhelped.
ITO get on in society" involves 50 much
that can never be written down, that any
manual is. of course, imperfect, for no one
can predict who shall succeed and who
shall fail. Bold and arrogant people,
cheeky" people, succeed at first, modest
ones in the long run. 1t is q melancholy
fact that the most Objectionable persons
3
be feared that the possession Of wealth is
more desired than the possession of any
other attribute, that much is forgiven the
rich man which would be rank heresy to
the poor one.
We would not, however, advise Tilden
to choose his friends from the worldly
point, simply, either Of fashion or wealth.
He should try to find those who are well
bred, good, true, honorable and generous.
Wherever they are, such people are always
good society.
In the ranks of society, however, we find
sometimes the ideal gentleman. Society
may not have produced so good crop as
it should have done, yet its false aims, its
glittering friezes, have not yet dazzled all
men out of the true, the ideal, breeding.
There are many cubs, but there are some
Admirable Crichtons-men who can think,
read, study, work and still be fashionable.
A man should go through the fierce fires
of social competition and yet no be
scorched. All men have not had that fine
repressive training which makes our navy
and army men such gentlemen. The
breeding of the young men of fashion is
not what their grandfathers would have
called good. They sometimes have a
severe and bored expression when called
on to give up selfish pleasure. One asks
"Where are their manners?"
Breeding, cultivation, manners, must
fostered and the dancing master added on
The old saying that it takes three genera
tons to make gentleman, makes us ask
how many does it take to unmake one
Some young and well-born men seem to
be undoing the work of the three genera
tons, and to have inherited nothing of a
great ancestor but his bad manners is
poor inheritance.
An American young man should have
the best manners. He has had nothing
to crush him; he is unacquainted with
patronage, which in its way makes snobs.
and no one loves snob, least of all the
man whom the snob cultivates.
And the word gentleman" although
one of the best in the language, should not
be used too much. Be q gentleman, but
talk about ..man."
And man avoids display and cultivates
simplicity, neatness and fitness of things,
If he is both a man and a gentleman.
M NJ Gurpunan