Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-08-01
Written for The Evening Star.
THE CURIOUS IN EPIrAPHs
Some More Unique Specimens Of MorsuaF
Literature Culled From Many Ceneteries.

some More Unique Specimens Of M0rtuAYy
Literature Cuiled From Many Ceneteries.
TT WOULD BE OF LITTLE USE TO SEEK
Il for anything curious in the way Of mortu-
airy inscription within the precincts Of Q mod
ern city cemetery. Anything Of this kind must
be sought for in the resting places Of bygone
generations, or in out-of-the-way spots where
modern civilization, so called, has not re-
duced everything pertaining to the customs
and mode Of thought Of the people to the dead
level Of the commonplace.
An artist or poet.of crude ideas and with no
hampering fear Of the proprieties or of prece-
dent before his eyes, may, in perfect serious
ness and good faith, achieve results that, to the
average beholder, are startling. Pscaliarities
OF person, Of calling, mode of life and manner
OF death all find their record upon headboard,
slatestone or marble. From their character il
Is evident that hands other than those Of loving
kindred have sometimes had to do with these
inscrlptions-the Improvement Of the last
chance by some one left behind to get even"
with the helpless sleeper. One finds, a. well,
tributes TO the dead that, in spite Of oddity
and crudeness, are polite to q degree.
MINERS TRIBUTE.
The following comes from the graveyard Of
one Of the old California mining camps One
suicide wrestling with a dull jackknife, q
tough pine board and . limited knowledge of
the English language; whose weakness along
the lines Of grammar was compensated for by
an earnest desire to do the right thing by his
dead mate, and an equally strong desire that
there should be no Misunderstanding as to the
fact that the kind of pistol and not the awk-
wardness OF the man was to blame for his
taking off. At the end the moral sense asserts
itself and the rude artist adds what he recalls
Is Bible phrase - a sort of benediction:
I'm memory Of
John smith. wno met
Nierlent death near this spot
1shundred and d! nifty too: He was shoe
But ws sd II. Sns Ds f6 Dsl nss lad
And OF such is the Kingdom Of Heaven"
Any. one would recognize this ss coming
from the neighborhood Of Gloucester;
Az. he, s done catching sd. cod Cd
Boston culture asserts itself even in the line
OF elegic poetry, as witness the following upon
the headstone of a deceased artisan erected
many years ago in one Of the outlying towns of
that city. As guess one would say that the
services of the town schoolmaster had been
called in to prepare lifting tribute to the de-
funct glazier, for certainly no one else would
have been equal to SO scintillating composition
as this:
..Precarious dealer: death, alasi
Has snapt i'll two LIES brittle glass,
hesn was the di'mond on the pane.
But All the arts were weak through life
Destn cut more certain with his scyths.
And thou; safe from rainy day.
Are putty'd up in mother clay.H
Dating a century back and not far from
Marblehesd, Mass, the following ambiguous
epitaph may be found:
Beneath this stone my wife doth lie,
She's now at rest and so Am l."
A Yankee must have strayed over from
mainland to the stsid Dutch hamlet on Long
Island and been the author of the following
atroclous epltaph upon the grayestone Of a
carpenter, which goes back to the first years Of
the present century:
NO wonder he sawed short life's space,
For long he was atn)ang man"
ON DEAD DOCTOR.
One recognizes in the lines following the
bitter hostility of the old school practitioner
agains. the disciples of Hahnemann which evil
IDENTIFY dates back to a time when Diploma was
not a necessary part OF a doctors equipment:
Here lies at length though length not long.
Who quacked his wares through little towas.
rtor curing minor ills
This dapper doctor was small
That all his patrons iook. I'd ashass
Death cut him short as life had done.
As small his stature, fame and worth
SO brief shall be my song"
Had the redoubtable Scotsman mentioned
UeioN HNtu Hall u century or SO earlier 1t Is
safe to predict that he would, in some manner.
have fallen into the hands of old Frederick
William, and, with the rest of that famous body
OF giant grenadiers, have had his life made
miserable by the never-ending drill and the
rattan of tina. crazy old king 1t can be found
in all Marlborough church yards, and is as fol-
lows:
John Mcpherson
Was wonderful person.
He stood feet = without his shoe.
At Waterloo"
The exacting demands Of rhythm and the bold
way in which they can be met is well exempli-
fed in the following, from Manchester, Eng
land, churchyard:
. Here lie the remains of Thomas woodhen
he most ainiabe OF husbands and excellent Of men,
N B.,His name was Woodcock, Dut it wouldn't
come in rhyme"
An attempt to economic labor and space
on the part of the marble cutter deprived Ann
Martin. who sleeps in little cburchyard near
Newcastle-on-Tyne, of half her legacy of praise
by destroying entirely the sentiment OF the
bereayed husbands tribute. For crown" the
thrifty workman put the following:
''She was Is. unto her husband"
There is no installing the calling of the in
dividuaI over whose remains 10 recorded this
epitaph:
He was fair,
He was square.
He was lucky with two pair,
Which be handled with an air
OF bravado.
NBut be got upon tare,
ar emo ugh to cuss and swear.
And the Indians raised his hair
In Colorado.