The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-26
BRIGHT BITS.

CHICAGO EDIToR-Your poem, 1 fear, will
hardly suit US, madam. Your feet are all
Chicago etess-Sir.-Boston aazette.
TIE only men in the United States who can
adequately and underatandngly sympathize
with the President are the base ball Iinpires
1e.rGs SJtin0s.
On winning q prize the runner is bent
Who speeds down the rural laneP
NO, hes SUBURBAN resident
And is running 60 catch his train.
Veto York Press.
''SHTHK1Ns Is a fine fellow When I was
visiting him yesterday at New Utrecht he in.
vtted me to 50 to the theater, on the spot"
He was safe enough. There is no theater on
the spot-breokIyn Eagle
look tr4fle hght-headed
JaRley-S' think it might; Just been where
there was greatest lot Of corks you ever saw,
Boston Courier.
The stgger who slugs end adorrs fellow pugs.
TIL their features with ruby do gush
Deseryeth that part in the language of art
winch duos him knight OF the brush"
Boston Courier.
BRoBsoN--what two kinds of men meet in the
early morning hoursY
Cratk-I'm sure don't know.
Brobson-Why. the hardy sons Of toll and the
tardy sons of Hoyle, OF course.-Neto York
Herald.
"Do YOU DRINKS" asked the old man.
Ido. SAID the younger one, boldly.
Then come and have one on me, " returned
the patriarch; my daughter bet me her next
quarters allowance that you didn't.-Boston
Gazette.
BRIGes-I see that young Pelter has been dis
charged from his position as bookkeeper
ter!
Br1ggs-His employer accidentally overheard
that he was q graduate of business college
Brooklyn Life.
IRATE PASSENGER to horse car conductor
who has tried to collect fare twice, and carried
him beyond his crossing)-You d suit the cleo
trio cars better nor this. I'm tninkin'.
Horse Car Conduetor-Why 80, sirP
lrate Passenger-Ye're such divil o. nom
conductor, ye'se are.-Epoch,
"BY TIE Way" remarked guest to the
landlord of summer resort as he paid his bill
and stsrted,away, 'do you permit your help to
"Why 1n-o-n.o." he SAID with nervous
anxiety, as he glanced back over the account.
you haven't got any money, left, have your
Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. MANHATTAN BEACH has just been paying
number Ct bids which his hopeful son, who Is
a student at Yale college, contracted. IT had
no idea," said the old man TO his son, shat
studying Tasso expensive 21i
"Oh, yes. it costs money" replied the youth
land didn't study SO very much. either "
IeTGS Siftin0s. el e1sa
BULF1NcH-I understand. Dranaticus, that
you are writing play. ~
Dramaticus- have that honor.
Bulfnch--Goe it nearly done9|
part OF it. haven't started on the play itself
yet, but have nearly finished my speech Of
surprise Ehen am called on between the acts.
Boston Courier. 10y
IRATE CUsTohER-ThoSs shoes Is bought for
my boy iastw are worn OUT already, and
found thick piece of pasteboardin the soIes.
What have you to say TO thatf
Dealer--My dear sir, the pasteboard is put In
TO keep tho feet from touching the ground
when the feather wears OUT You wouldn't
want your little boy to catch cold and die of
consumption. would youf-Good Eetcs
81 DON'T see why Brother Goodman should
want whole month for a rest observed a
close listed member Of the fiock ''rhe devil
never takes q vacation"
Neither does the Lord" spoke up the Rev.
Mr.. Goodman. "He Is abundantly able to taxa
care of the adversary for one month" The vote
in favor OF granting Pastor Goodman's request
for vacation was practically unanimous
Chicago Tribune.