Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1891-11-19
AsrE AND SCISSORS.

Il
The forger is always careful to got q
good namo-Btnghamton Republican.
A tack points heavenwnrd when II
neeses the :;.ssss mischief. Il mas many
human imitators. - Texas Sgtings.
Caller - .Is Mrs. Brcwnston at
homer "Yes'm. She'll be
at home all the evenin'. It's my night
out.n-M Y Weekly.
"He treated her shamefully," "Dld
she get divorcepn Mo- why
notP" She wanted to get even with
him. - Brookiya Life.
Stranger Here. officer. | want ia
| give myself up. Tn bank robber
and forger." Policeman (very suspi-
ciously) KIN yez provo itP"- Wash
inoton Star.
Woman-"H Have you no trade, no
means Of earning livingph Hungry
Higgins I'm a printer" Printer,
eh?H "Yos'm. Foot-printer. SeeP'
indianapolis Journal.
Author-"The people always Judge
rightly and | leave my book to the
public.n Crltic-"Yes, my dear fell
low, but 1t is not judge you need so
much us an advocate. .n--Pach
Dick (at seaside hotelD Where is
HarryP We can't go without Harry"
Tom-"He is up In his room writing
to his father.h Dick-"Then never
mind himi he must be broke. Puck.
There Is nothing new under the
sun. remarked. solomon. 20. yes.
there Is, " said the milliners collector,
as he came up with the bill. 'and your
wife is wearing it. - Washington Star.
The plumber has full realizatlon of
the meaning of tho word retribution
when afler staying week ut sum
mer resort hotel no looks over the
items Of the landlords bill-N L.
Press.
He "Do you think they have been
married longp" She-"No-on their
honeymoon, | guess. She is trying
to appear economical and he is trying
equally hard to appear generous, ~
Y. Herald.
College Pres't. .-"All the boys have
attended prayers regularly this week.
IEoitsoOI NV puo Hdo luts9cu lot
two weeks" President -- "Humphl
Some Internal mischief Is brewing. y
Good NeWS.
Hello, is this the breweryP" shout
ed the tough young man over tho tele-
phone. mo- came tho answer.
browns undertaking shop" 20,
excuse me, I'll see you later. "-Baf-
faio Enquirer.
Maria you've got 10 take the baby
now, I'm tired" You've only had
him an hour. George" Il know tsAt;
but I've fastened my pedometer to him.
and Two trotted him lifty-three miles
That's enough. "-Harper'S Bazar.
did you hear that Banker Meyer
has failedP The one whose daughter
has just married the countP He's ut
terly ruined You don't say! Won't
the count be astonished when he finds
he has married Miss Meyer for love?"
--FiiegeHde Btdetter.
The new minister was from the city.
and he was trying to make friends
with the farmers cows. Said he:
"rhey don't seem to like me" That's
strange said the farmer; II never
saw cattle that did not like green
pastor. "-PittSbirg Chronicle
Watts-"I believe there is something
in the theory Of people being dsin-
clined to marry those of similar char
actcr." Potts why, sure! You
never find grass widow wasting her
time on an ideal man of straw. do
yonPn-IadidadpoiiS Journal
II hope my visits are not disagree
able to YOU" he said mot at ALL"
she politely answered. Il have some-
times thought that | wearied you.h
"Oh. no. No matter how gloomy l
feel when you call. am always happy
when you go."-N y Press.
Crnsty Bachelor (after a silent half
hour OF piano agony)-"Miss Fprella,
| should think you would hate to be
so far behind the styles" Florella
getting red) -"Why. / saw in some
fashion paper that now short bangs
were all the rage. e."-BdlttmOre Ameri-
can.
Strollaway-"Doy You remember Miss
Doveyp I'll never forget how you and
she were in love with each other. How
she used to call you pet names and
you-well. l suppose it's all over nowl
No more sweetness between you, ehPn
Stayathome mo; all overln "By
the way. whom did she marryP" "Me!n
Boston Nelos.
docs yer like 'stronomyP" the bel
ligerent young man inquired as he
walked up to one Of his fellow work
men. 'Nawsir; whadjer ask forP"
Case, I'm gwineter glib yer some les
sons" Yer amp" ''Yas. | am; wild
mer arm fur a telescope an mer iis'
foh er eyepiece. Yer kin now git
ready ter see stahs." - Washington
Star.
A hard-working woman was asked:
Madam, are you a woman suffragistPn
NO. sir was the answer. II haven't
time to be-" Haven't timeP Well.
If you had the privilege of voting,
whom would you supportPn THE
same man / have supported for the
last ten years And who is that?n
MY husband. "-Liacoin (Neb.) Jour-
nal
She had yawned six times, looked at
the clock four times, and pretended to
be half asleep three times. but the
Young editor who was calling upon |
her was so much in love that be did |
not observe these manifestations of |
WEAKNESS. At length she said: Most
newspapers have notices. haven't |
theyfn Some have" Has yours |
one2n Yes" "Whnt is itPn I'VE |
are here to stay Il could have
sworn It was something Of that kind,
she said with a Sigh. aud th silence was
" y Prefs