The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-09
sUNFLowER s1LHouETTEs.

The Republican party OF Kansas got its
| just deserts-when Harrison Kelly de-
serted.
! As far as Kansas is concerned, the lower
| hall of congress is at present the house OF
misrepresentation.
There is only one hope for the Demo
| cratic party of Kansas. 1t might fuse
with the Salvation army.
! As TO the sex, the metaphor that "Corn
| is King" is not strictly correct. For corn,
| be it remembered, is maid.
The Winfield Nonconformist will move
| to Indianapolis The Nonconformist be-
| lieves that whatever is, is wrong.
The books of E. w. Howe, of Atchison,
have been adopted in the Chautauqua lit
erary course which is no trivial recogni-
ton.
A great many men are scheming to be
elected janitor of the county building this
fall who, if they fail, intend TO try for
Plumb's place.
At an Alliance caucus the chairman,
who was trying to bring order out of
chaos, finally grew desperate and yelled:
''The man who is not candidate for nom
ination will please stand up"
Bill Higgins knows what he is doing.
He lives right there in Topeka, and be
knows that there never was prohibition
convention, but that even the hotels got
full
The new convert to the Alliance has al
ways been something of a trouble TO the
Republican party, and before the Alliance
is through with him it may learn that
harassing be Kelly.
Mother Superior Catharine, formerly
Miss Kate Drexel, of Philadelphia. one of
the richest women in America, is in Con-
cordia, visiting Mother Superior Stan
islaus, of the Nazareth academy.
The truth of the matter is that Harrison
Kelly wants Plumb's place and thinks the
Alliance will have the bestowal of il,
which for a moment summons up the
ghost of little Turner and the certain
young man whom he never caught.
Down in Texas the other night, after
PETER had finished one of his speeches de-
flaming Kansas, a long, lank man got up
and said; Il guess what he says about
Kansas is true. / haven't got much opin-
ion myself of a state that would send such
a man to the United States senate"
Another Sedgwick county farmer was
sold out by the sheriff yesterday. The
sheriff rode up to the place and after talk
ing little while asked him if he had
heard of the latest tune.
mo; what's that?" asked the farmer.
why. the spittoon."
The worst thing in Paris, in Charlie
Scott's opinion, is for man, the minute
l. 3 i
night, to be accosted by forty or fifty fe-
males whom he has never seen before
Men differ in their tastes. Now, A B.
Campbell would have never thought of
that
John j. ingalls, has just made a contract
TO publish his book on American politics.
He talks willingly about it, telling how it
is to be bound, how many pages he has
written, and what it will cost. 1t seems to
be settled that he will sail for Europe the
last part of this month on the Netherlands
steamer Veendam. He will land at Am
sterdem, and will spend the winter in the
Holy Land on the Nile.
An Alliance candidate rode up to farm
house the other day, where fat, comfort
able, jolly-faced farmer was watering a
flower bed. He looked up, and, nodding
his head cheerfully. came over to the fence
with his hands damned down into his
pockets.
well, now," he said, as he shook hands |
with the man OH the horse II suppose
you've come after my influence to get you
to be district judge. Amt that it?'
''Well, Uncle Henry" said the man, 'I
was going to speak to"
''Of course, you was. But I'm powerful |
sorry can't help you. Fact is, rve come |
out for district judge myself"
You don't mean that?"
Eyes, sir, that's what do"
But you don't know anything about |
law"
Cant say that do"
Never had lawsuit in your life, did /
you?"
Nope"
Couldn't tell law book from die
tionary?'
Nope"
Wouldn't know the difference between
a writ of habeas corpus and a change of
venue in a thousand years."
Nope"
'Then why on earth. Uncle Henry, did
you come out for district judge?"
The old man laughed well" he said,
there are sixteen fellows beside you
hat are running for that Office, amt
here" The man nodded Now, you
see every one of them boys would be
hanging around me for my support, and /
haven't got the time TO spare. Besides, /
amt afford 10 take sides with any Of the
boys. / like 'en all. So | went TO my old
woman and asked her what to do, and she
studied little while and then she says.
viping her specs Henry YOU come ont