Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-10-08

Phillipsburg Herald
P9ILLRsBURG, KANSAS.
THAT terrible fall which dIslocated
the Kaiser's kree-cap did not even jar
the toggle-joint OF his tongue. Man,
imperial man, is indeed wonderfully
made.
A NEW JERSEY woman who mar
ried a cowboy now has to pay him SO
a week alimony. Here's one instance
of retribution-the woolly West for
once gets even with Jersey.
A PARAGRAPH is now going the
rounds that ''the Chinese do not per-
NIT their women to be photographed.
1t will take something higher than
the Chinese wall to keep the kodak
out OF the empire.
AND now Chicago boasts a leprosy
case. When New York discovered
that it had leper a few days ago it
it was not to be expected that the
announcement of a similar find in
Chicago would be long delayed.
IF you hear a man mispronounce a
word, the polite thing to do, if you
have occasion to repeat il, is to mis-
pronounce it as he did. Anything
else would be in the nature of a cor
rection, and few people like that.
WHEN you go on a visit, always
announce how long you intend to
stay. Your hostess is curious to
know, and by telling her, you will
give her a chance to plan your pleas
ures to fit the time you will spend
with her.
In all the cities the theatrical man
ayers complain OF the press of stage
struck females-giris, and wives who
have abandoned their husbands to
take part in comic opera. They would
find in the long run more happiness
and profit in the kitchen.
MORE suicides are committed in the
hottest month of the year than in the
eleven months put together. II you
are feeling at all respondent about
anything, compel yourself to be more
cheerful. Your relatives do not want
to put on heavy Grape in hot weather.
THE people who are always expect
ing to die usually live the longest.
II a man wants to live long life let
him moan and grOan at the slightest
pain, and talk of death as though it
nudged him every moment on the
elbow. He is the man who lives to
be the oldest inhabitant.
TIE piano has become such a nui-
sance in Boston that practicing is
regulated by law. Children are only
allowed to practice one hour a day,
and that in the morning. Other cities
are talking of adopting the same reg
ulation. There is no doubt that the
piano is becoming very prominent
nuisance.
Too MANY Of the good times are
for the young. There is no reason
why a man should stop having a good
time because he has passed so. The
old people should get together, enter
their protest, make arrangements for
enjoying themselves, and leave the
young folks at home to watch the
house for a change.
A MARBLE statue has been found
on the island of Milo OF a Grecian
boxer, and is said to be a splendid
work of art, in good state of pres
ervation. 1t is slightly larger than
the average pugilist Of these times,
and does not show gloves. Perhaps
they did not have Marquis of Queens
berry rules in the old times.
1.-THE world do move" A prom
inent Texas paper, the Austin States
man, in leading editorial declares
that ''the pistol must 60" That is
the voice of civilization. Not one
time in twenty does the pistol hit or
kill the right party. The practice of
carrying one in the pocket is cowardly
and the result is usually disastrous.
WHY do people say that a thing is
like dream to express their opinion
that it is beautiful? There is moth
ing very pretty about most dreams.
They are usually a repetition of every
thing wretched and unhappy that has
happened during the day. To every
pleasant dream you have, you have
twenty that make you feel sore all
next day.
AS A source of wheat for export,
Canada has been credited with a sur
plus of 20, 900, 600 bushels 1t is now
announced that the Dominion can
spare at least 80, 200, 900 bushels.
This is an increase of $4,000, 600 over
last year in surplus, and indicates the
rapid advance OF the Red River coun-
try into the grain-growing competi-
ton OF the world.
THE Shah OF Persia knows his bust
ness. Furthermore the Shah is, To
use a sporting expression, very hot
stuff to deal with News has just
reached London that Abdullah Kahn,