The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-06-03
PITH AND POINT.

-Pastor-"1f you live rightly you
will meet your departed in the happier
state" Widow-"You didn't know
William, did you?"-N. Y. Herald.
A Natural Inquiry. Wagg-''What
are you doing now?' Wooden-"Oh,
I'm living by brain work" Wagg-1
want to know! Whose?"-Boston Globe.
One may ruin score of his fellows
and he is easily forgiven; but let him
ruin himself and there's nothing too
harsh that may be said of him. Boston
Transcript.
-Grimshaw-'I'd like to sell that
engagement ring / bought some time
ago." Glazebrooke-"Why, is the
match Off" Grimshaw-"Oh, no; but
we've married. Galveston News.
1t Was Good. fish dot Limberger
not goot?" asked dealer of Il man who
looked at it from little distance.
"Good!" he replied; why it's unap
proachablev'- Monthly.
-Offanon-"And is Miss Oracle to
have two chaperons? What is that for?"
Old Peterby-"Thats on your account.
When you come they are to chaperon
by watches, three hours off and three
on."-N. Y. Herald.
Bank President you say, Mr..
Bullion, that the young man you rec
commended is subject to fits of abstrac'
tion2'' Mr.. Bullion-'Yes, occasional.
ly." Bank President-"Then he will
not suit us as cashier
-Sharpson (grinding out verse)-I
want a suitable rhyme for chains. >"
Phiatz = "Whats the matter with
sbrains?'" "Can't use it. I'm writing
poem entitled The Cigarette Smok.
er. sporting World.
You may talk of the depth and
power Of love all you please, but there
has been as yet no instance recorded OF
young man turning insane in the
lapse of time between his proposal and
his loved ones answer.
First Student--"You told me you
had rare and curious manuscript to
show me. I.see nothing here but a re-
ceipted tailor's bill.' Second Student
"And you see nothing rare or curious
about itr'-Fliegende Batter.
Family Honor in Danger.-Willby.
-"How are your poems selling, Bill
by?" Billby, The Poet.-"The first
edition was exhausted on the first day.
My uncle bought the whole of it. I"
Willby-'"To save the family honor. l
suppose. Yankee Blade.
His Exercise.-Tom Knox-''I am
glad to see that you have joined our
athletic club" Howell Gibbon.-''Ah,
ya-as; the doctah recommended exer-
else, We know; and as heard that walk
ing was good, just walk down evewy
mawning, and wead the papahs!"-Puck'
-"That, said the performer, as he
wheeled around on the piano-stool, sis
posthumous composition. 1t is quite
probable that the composer never heard
it performed. What do you think of it?''
81 think it shows remarkable good
taste on the composers part. Wash.
ington Post.
Pretty Far Gone.-sWhat happy
disposition Sapper has! He never has
any money of his own. for he is always
trying to borrow, yet you'd think he
hadn't a care in the world II sup
pose it is because his credit is so poor
that he can not even borrow trouble.
Boston Herald.
New Reporter-sThat item about
Col Bourbon being murdered, that we
printed this morning, amt true. He''
alive and we'll" Editor-"And wha
do you mean by coming here and tell
ing me? The Howler has characte
for veracity that must be maintained
Go right off and kill him. -Philadel
phia Times.
A Successful Authoress. -Returne'
Tourist-"By the way, Mrs. De Beauti
have not seen your charming daugh
ter since my return. When / left sh
had determined to submit her frs
novel to the leighton Magazine. Ha
she been successful in her literary as
pirations?' Mrs. De Beauti-"Perfect
". She married the editor. demo
rests Monthly.
Feminine Generalship.-Miss D
Fashion (breathlessly)-"Oh, mother
It won't do to wait three weeks befor
having my party. We must send OF
the invitations at once, and have it thi
week" Mrs. De Fashion-''G
me! What's the hurry?" Miss De Fasl
ion-"That odious Miss De Prett,
whom Mr.. Richfellow so much admire
has a boil on her nose. "-Demorest
Monthly.