Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-10-22
The STORY OF JOCK.

y
Monkey Writes a Letter About Him.
self
Whewl tbs almost too hot to write
letters, even if my little friends are
anxious to hear from me.
Ihave been so very busy doing things
that ! ought not t. that have just
found time to tell you about myself.
You see / am shut up here in large
cage all the time and never have a
chance to get away and run up into the
trees as l would like to, but | viii not
complain, as there are some monkeys
who have TO work for living, while
all do is TO enjoy myself.
am very glad that am not a hand
organ monkey that has to wear funny
clothes and have string to his neck
all the time. | should get awfully
tired if thought was obliged to pick
up pennies and travel around on
squeaky old organ all these hot days.
What do l do all the time ?
I'll tell you one thing that / did this
morning A gentleman came into the
| house to see me, and, of course.
hoped down to see if he had any candy.
He did have some and it looked very
funny. ] took it and put it my mouth,
and in just about a minute found it
was all full of pepper. l didn't say
anything, but went out near the gem
tleman again and put out my hand to
him. He thought didn't know of the
joke he tried to play on me, so he came
| close up to the cage, and in a second l
had his watch out of his pocket and
was over ON the other side of the cage
out of reach.
Then / came back, jumped up into
the swing, and held up the watch so he
might see it.
OH how cross that man was. 1
thought he would shoot me, but he
didn't; he just clinched his hands and
stamped and said things. Then he
went out after the keeper, and while
he was gone | covered the watch up
with sawdust and went up to the very
highest perch, where / pretended to go
to sleep.
Soon the man came back with the
keeper. He could neither see me nor
the watch and he was furious The
keeper ratified his stick, but | kept still
where | was and all the other monkeys
laughed.
After they had both scolded for some
time they turned to go. Then jumped
down, took the watch out of the saw
dust and dropped it with bang outside
of the cage on the floor The keeper
and the man both jumped, but by the
time they were back at the cage / was
on the top perch again.
just as the two walked away heard
the keeper say that the man would
know better than to fool with the
monkeys next time
If hadn't been such a mischieyous
monkey l never would have had to live
up here behind the bars.
remember once when / belonged to
very nice old lady, who didn't have
any husband, and who had two or three
cats, a parrot and myself, that had an
awful scare.
One day the old lady took nap, and
left me unclaimed in the sitting-room.
Well, pulled hair out of the cat, pulled
plants out of the pot, stuck pins into
oil paintings, scared the parrot most to
death and had quiet time generally.
Then l began to feel lonesome, and
wanted some fun. so ! went into the
bedroom where my mistress was and
thought | would pull her hair.
jumped up on the bed, took hold of
her hair and gave one pull, and what do
you think, every hair that she had on
her head came off, leaving her head as
smooth as the back of her hand.
gave cry, dropped the wig over the
old lady's face and ran. Then l heard
somebody shout Murder! Police! Fire!
and when ! peeped into the bedroom
again, there was my mistress struggling
on the bed and half smothered by that
heavy wig. She thought somebody was
trying to kill her.
That was about all the fun had that
week l had my chain shortened and
lived on bread and water for awhile,
and the eats would laugh at me every
time they went by
l wonder why it's naughty to enjoy
yourself. ] don't think of anything
more now.
My. there's a little boy with bag of
peanuts. Hooray! Goodbye. Jock, in
n. u Advertiser.