The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-03

ting desperately tired Of emotional Thugs,
OF plays that get me up to G. IN sorrow,
/ make me cry until my nose is red, and take
/ away my appetite for supper. But | Ike
| the real, true, veritabls farce, and saw
/ one the other pigh.. It was called "Mr.
/ Wilkinson's Widows" and, besides being
extremely funny. it pointed q moral and
adorned tale. IL showed how lacking in
wisdom is the man who concludes that
women don't find out things. and
it showed how full Of wisdom
/ is the man who marries the widow. 1t told
/ in the most delightful manner Of the joys
that come from taking as your chosen one
the woman who had gone through the mill
| before and who. consequently, was going TO
| get her own way in such way that you
thought It your way. / laughed over Mr.
Wilkinson's Widows" until | think it
would have done Mr.. Wilkinson good TO
have gotten up from his grave and come
and seen me- / think he saved me from an
attack of the grip. laughed over
THE STORY OF DIAMOND NECKLACE
which had been entered on his other account
more than anybody else Ia the house,
because l know from a conhding book
keeper in a big jewelry shop how many men
keep double accounts, how many clerks
had been discharged for congratulate
ing wives on rings and bracelets that were
never bought for them, and how many bills
there were that were sent downtown"
rather than 10 "the house" 1t was not
remarkable that MIR. Wilkinson's widows
got married again. They were two
extremely fetching-looking women, who
knew how to put on their gowns, and how
to make life more or less comfortable to a
man: In fact, Mr.. Wilkinson's, while
little above the average, might yet be
called typical widows, and that they we'd
ded again is only in the natural order of
-
and see 1t, for Mr. Wilkinson's widows and
their spouses. and Mr.. Wilkinson's picture
will make you laugh until you get the best
appetite for supper you ever had, and now~
adays, when we are all wondering whether
we are going to geE the grip or the typhoid
fever, or the mulligrubs, or goodness only
knows what, anything that gives an appe-
tite is to be greeted with open arms, or
whatever may be your method Of express
ing satisfaction.
THE MAN WHO is A CAD.
Some women were talking the other day
about cads, and they said that while the
snob may be found among women, the cad
is essentially masculine. He is prevalent
at times. he comes up like the weeds and
the spring freckles, and with a little care he
can be extinguished almost as easily.
He spends his time in thinking what rude
things he can say or do. OF course he
don't think they are rude, he thinks they are
clever
He has an idea. that people who keep quiet
don't know anything. In this he is fire.
quently mistaken.
He does not believe that any woman can
see him and not love him: this is often an
error on his part. He is satisfied that
after seeing him Providence concluded TO
make the world; and yet Providence is
not given to making mistakes.
de occupies three seats 10 a street car,
audtbly damns the conductor, smirks at any
woman who may be decently dressed, and
believes that he ia accepted as a man OF the
world. He is; but not of the world that he
would wish to belong to.
He tells women it was a pity he didn't
know them younger. SO that he might have
trained them; If he had, thoy would have
occupied cells in the house of detention.
He has induced some girl to marry him,
and he announces boldly that it is a good
thing on both sides. Some people doubt
this.
He has the latest thing In carriages, in
trousers, and in waistcoats, but somehow,
while he gets his hats from a London hat
ter, and Poole makes his coats, brains don't
gentleman could possibly wear
He has one fully developed idea, and that
is that he is gentleman. He never was
more mistaken In his life.
He never got close enough to gentleman
to catch good manners, nor to man to be
well kicked.
He is a blot upon the face Of the universe.
Let's sponge him out. "BAB."