The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-12-25
JEREMIAH's CRIME ,

JEhEmlAH'S ChlmE.
''Keturah,' said jeremiah, ''the next
time them boys knocks at our door Pm
goin' for 'em."
Jeremiah" said l, II couldn't blame
you if you did. They is things, Jere-
miah," says 1, ''that would make angel
rise up and strike out, and the conduck
of them medicated students is of that
sort Onct in a way" says 1, 1--WE might
put up with it. But it is constant. Do
your wust."
You may think jeremiah and me Sc
we're, but you don't know what we has
had to put up with. jeremiah, he was
quiet man, and was quiet woman
We had lived in the same house thirty
years, keeping our little farm while the
village growed up about us. When the
medicated college was built they wanted
to buy our land, but we wouldn't sell.
We had what we wanted, and we hadn't
no children, and we didn't want to save
up for nobody. We was content, and
kings can't be any more. So we said
they must excuse us, but we wouldn't
sell. They was no doubt plenty of folks
that would. And our words came truer
than we calculated, for old Uncle Pierce,
he went and sold his ground adj'ining
ourn, and took and banked the money,
and went and boarded with bis son.
1t is we'll that the future is not revela-
toned to us. We didn't think nothin'
of his sellin' at first; didn't seem as eff it
would make no difrentz whether there
was private house or medicated col
lege next to ourn, but as soon as it was
built and moved into then we knowed.
When them young men that went to
learn doctorin' into that medicated col
lege found time for to study they knowed
best. Most of their evenin's was spent
chasin' round the village, playin' tricks
on honest folks, stealin' signs and pastin'
up bills Ito let" putin dead cats down
wells, ringin' the church bells in the
middle of the nights, hollerin' ''fire'' and
murder" kissin' any gals they met
alone in the road, tyin' strings to knock
high hats off Sabber day. You never
knowed what they was up to. They
ketched poor Deacon Gravy onct and
made him dance jig in the middle of
Hooker's woodses. They got out their
scalpulars, he said, and got ready for to
scalp him eff he stopped, and SEEM he
believed quadrilles sin, let alone jigs,
it was hard on him. More'n that, they
stepped old Miss Peechum goin' with a
basket of eggs to the store, where she
kinder snapped 'em off for things she
wanted, and sucked them all. To be
sure they paid her for 'em, but they
skeered her more than the moneys
worth.
In pint of fact them medicated stu
dents upset the place mOre'n herd of
buffalo run wild could hev done, and
when a committee called on the folks
that was head of affairs to ask 'em to
tend to the boys they jest said that there
was no putin an end to these practical
BILE jokes in none Of the colleges no.
where. 1t was something fearful the
way they carried on, and our house be-
ing nearest by we caught it wuss than
Others. When jeremiah made that there
observation with which this narrytive
commences we had had knocks on
knocks at our doors and all our windys
mornin', noon and night. We couldn't
sot still for 'em; we'd got to open the
door. We couldn't help that-might a
been suthin' petickelar-and when we
opened it there warn't no ons there. /
used to say to jeremiah that if we had
been spirituelle we'd hev been Rochester
knockers in no time, but as we warn't
we knowed it was them medicated stu
dents and nobody else. And jeremiah
had made up his mind for to go for 'em,
and he had cut for himself real heavy
knobby, stick, and there was revenge in
his eye, and the expression of his mouth
was skeerful.
He sot the cain ag'iA his cheer, while
we was eatin' our teas, SOS to be ready
for 'em, but no knocks came; and when
we set down aterward, him to read the
paper and me to knit stockings, none
didn't come, neither. 'Twasn't until 6
o'clock one did sound onto the keepin'
room door, and then jeremiah was goin'
to bounce out, but / stepped him.
mo, jeremiah" says 1, mot yet, moi
until they've done itonce or twict This
may be neighbor, and eff so you'd re-
pent flynn at him as long as you lived
So jeremiah he allowed himself to be
guided by me, and 1 opened the door
There weren't no one there.
"After this, jeremiah" says 1, 'yor
kin do your own way. They hev begun
ag'in. Go into the front parlor entry
an stand ag'n the wall They won't ex
pect you for to open it quick, bein' W,
are sottin' here at the back of the house
And jeremiah" says 1, "bein' you all
goin' to give it to 'em at all, give it tx
'em good" And never since we wal
folks at all had we felt sech evil feelings
into our hearts. We had been riled NJ
to on-merciful, and Satan took his op
portunity for to ensnare US.
sot knitting and listening, and at las
heard the knock come on the from
door, and the door fly open and jeremiah
fly out. The next minute they was aw