Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-10-04
SELECTING A STAFF FOR TIE PATRIOT.

would ensure the Patriot an immense sale
at the start. On Elsie asking whether he
thought it would keep up if he did, Mr..
Pryor droamily assured her that he had
written in almost every paper during Sev-
eral years, and one of his articles went
further than anyone e,Se'S. He handed to
Mir Ho%g Il few specimen contributions
that had appeared in the Monday Moon
How Mrs. LonSbranch Battles, - knights
and Danes of the Carter" and sketch of
German waterlng-place entitled "Unter
der Linen" These were carefully read in
three-quarters of i minute. and the talented
author was assured ne would be sent for
when required.
4 cadaverous gentleman bowed himself
in next, carrying a shocking bad hat. He
gave his name as DR.. Shamrocque, and sub
n.itted series of articles on How to
Sneeze," 1.-The Art of Catching Durable
Colds Hints on How TO Choose
a Doctor" and such like. They appeared
to be highly scientific and practical
until you read them, when you felt Us if you
had taken drink out of an empty glass in
the dark by mistake.
y charming young lady next en-
tered the office with a tragic stride
and i sepulchral voice. This, they were
astonished to learn, was Miss Tottie limp
kins, authoress Of ''Sonnets on SIM and
Powder Puff Poems" She was at once
engaged to write her most powerful stanzas
in Praise of Blarnaby. The lady was mys-
tilted. She had understood, she said, that
The Patriot was anti-Blarnaby. But she
did not grasp Mr.. Hogg's cruel motive.
Mrs Euphemia J. Shicksper next intro
duced herself Mr.. Hogg had never heard
o. the lady before. but was happy to learn
that she WAS well-known contributor to
papers of every political school. Did she
know enough of Mr. Blarnaby as public
character to write anything new about him
that might be useful TO the Patriot. Very
well, then; she might proceed at once TO
send in what might occur 10 her as most
practical Just now. Good morning, madam!
81 thought would bring you a tritie /
wrote last tight, just to show my lighter
vein. 1t may fill . corner. Good morning,
sir."
Hogg and Elsie were rather surprised
when they read these lines:
SINGULAR LINES FROM AN OLD PLAY.
Have that man Blarnaby ever in your eye!
lies deep dark, daring, wondrous cute and slyl
To play the grand duke he has got the itch,
lie spurns the poor 10 toady to the rich;
Gives votes TO foreign outcasts, howc'er dense,
10 overwhelm our native men OF sense:
And uses these his clumsy. dull-e dyed tools,
TO chisel US. and make US EEL like FOOLS!
Beware, electors of his greedy NAV,
Trust not too much his nimble neither Jaw,
Elsie was delighted to see DR.. Saywell
enter the editorial holy Of holes, but he did
not seem at all ecstatic at beholding that
seraph in the Sanctum. But
after i pleasant exchange of greetings he
put bold front on it, and gracefully offered
4 brace of new sermons for the Patriot.
They had been particularly admired by
Mrs. Fotheringham, and he thought Mr..
Hogg would respect her excellent taste
They We're entitled Temples of Mammon,"
aud 1.-The Avenue to Ease" and new pa
per would greatly benefit its circulation by
taking them in.
Mrs. Dr. O'Clam came to say she was
anxious to write u series of powerful papers
on Samoa and Samoan grievances, but Mr..
Hogg thought there was no end TO them as
il Is. She then handed in a couple of short
articles of popular scientific sort-"Man
and His Bosses" (Her MSS. spelt it
''Bossess.') the other was entitled Gould
Write Shorthand"
The reporters were chosen for their Spa-
cial qualifications. Clever Mr.. Romeo Mac
iutfer had had profound experience in the
higher literary art of making himself up in
various characters. He could Disguise
himself as Mrs. Camp and worm out the
secrets of Maternity hospital treatment
(which was always brutall, or as a sneak
hief, to entrap policemen into sharing the
)lunder (Which always makes a thrilling ex-
1osure). He could even, at u pinch, dis
yuise himself as gentleman. for the pur-
bose of interviewing some victim who
lever dreamt of the object till he saw his
In guarded talk in print.
y Miss Flitterby Spigh proposed that it
would be splendid literary freak to get I'D
pick-a-back race from the Battery TO
Harlem. the horses. or donkeys, to be bald |
'ated burlesQue patrons, and the riders |
genuine society ladies', of whom she herself |
Knew quite few who would gladly volun- |
Ger. She would write the affair up in a |
'tyle that would just suit the greatest pa |
Ter IN the world Or she could disguise '
!erseli as I Turkish bath attendant, ahu |
I'VE views of the beauties of society from |
nat novel standpoint. This person was |
luile hufod or being politely informed that |
iof sills were unsuited to this class of |
American Journal
another suppliant for employment In |
roduced himself with the air of patron, |
morning the proprietor that the vast wild |
vest was booming with tributes to his |
the suppliant'sl genuine genius. Besides
'elng tue champion American poet, who |
urns out stun so ike the creations of the |
'reat EllzaDethan poets that no one can |
ell one from the other, he was also the |
rittiest wit, the funniest humorist, the
loss hymn writer, tho oitest parodist. and
be greatest story-telier in the prairie re-
ion. In proof Oh his first claim he begged /