Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-11-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The family tree cannot be depended on
for board. d.--Indianapolis Journal.
''Has he no aim in lifes" "Oh, yes;
but he's never had shot at it."-Puck.
Dentists are not all farmers, but they
live off the achers just the same.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.
Hope builds nest in mans heart
where disappointment matches its brood.
--Ieras Sytings.
1t has been discovered that music
comes out of a barrel organ in staves.-
Washington Star.
Although girl likes to own mans
love, she never likes to own her own.--
NeO York Herald.
1t is said the Gear never shaves, but
most people know he has had many
close shave. Pittsburg Post.
Ween they say the brides costume was
dream do they mean to imply that it
was an illusion9-Boston Gazette.
slows businessa" asked one pick
pocket of another. 81 manage to keep
my hand in, was the reply.
Some duties are best performed by
deputy. When a man is bearing stocks,
he doesn't like to carry them himself
Puck
Woman uses powder as a defence
against Time; but the old fellow isn't
scared away by that kind of ammunition.
Puck.
Queer things happen sometimes. AZ
Ohio man recently opened jewelry store
and got six years for doing so.-sewelers
Weekly.
''Gunpowder blue" is new color.
The girl who meets her match dressed in
that will be sure to go off. -NeU Orlean
Picayune.
Character is like the grand old cathe-
dral bell. Reputation is the brass tin
tinnabulum of the loud mouthed auc-
tioneer. .-DaUas Ne,cs.
Pudley-''By Jove! What tall fell
low Jones is" Dudiey-"Don't see 1t,
old man. He's always short when l mee
him. ."-Boston Bulletin.
The barber man yhat shaved my beard
In looks seemed but Ounce;
Yet must he be a wondrous man
To work two chins at onceY
Mercury.
Turkey red is made from the maddeI
plant, which grows in Hindostan. 1t is
probable that the madden it gets the
redder it becomes. -M,o Orleans Plea
yune.
Brine-"Have you read Smartellick's
new novel?" Jones-''No; what's it
about9" Brine-"Well, it's about AIS
pages long, as far as can judge. "-Chi.
cagO Neos.
Bilson says the difference between
himself aud bis wife is only difference
of terms. She calls herself strong
minded and he calls her headstrong.
Detroit Free Press.
Ethel-"Are you making a collection
of souvenir spoonsa" Jack" Weller
no, not exactly. But have the photo
graphs OF all my old sweethearts. -
Housekeeper's Weekly.
81 cannot imagine why you should
discourage him. He seems to be young
man of steady habits" Eyes, that Is
so, mamma dear. And batchelorhood Is
one of them, think"
Jones-.'There's something strange,
even suspicious, should say, about
those two women" Brown-"H
thata" Jones-''Why, each paid her
own fare. ."-American Grocer.
It is proposed in all seriousness to pre-.
serve the dead by nickel plating. Should
this custom prevail the most plebeian
of posterity will be able to point with
pride to their polished ancestors. .-Aer.
curry.
Visitor I'm Jones's room at IL p. ny
--"That young lady in the house across
the way sings like bird" Jones (un.
kindly)-"Well not altogether. YOU
see, bird stops singing at night. DE.
troit Free Press.
.Jelby--'tMy dear, when am dead and
gone, i do hope you will not wrap your
self ia crepes and other black things to
show your grief" Mrs. Jelby-''Tha
just like you, forever domineering in all
things, even as to my attire after you
have ceased to trouble me. ."-Detro6
Free Press.
The following incident occurred in 9
Medford school: A class in grammar was
reciting, and one of the younger boys
was asked to compare "sick." He be.
gan, thoughtfully. ''Sick," paused
while his BRAIN struggled with the prob
lem, then finished, triumphautly, "Sick,
wosse. dead. ."-Basss-