The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-27
BRIGHT BITS.

A MURDERER named Scheele was hanged last
week at Bridgeport. His name is startlingly
suggestive of place whore bad men are said
to go.-R0chester Post Express.
WHAT do you think of our new handsy"
30, they knock things; they're lightning
what so quick?'
mo; always striking, ''-Phtlddelphia Times
SHE (trustingly)-Am the only girl yoUever
loved, Jack?
Jack Why--yes certainly, my dear-that is
to say-the only girl ever loved as love you,
my darling.-SomerUiEte Journal.
Gussr-Y on will remember that you told me
you would have to give me room high upf
Hotel Clerk yessir
Guest-wer. I've just got back. and St. Peter
wants a clean towel.-NetU York Herald.
BoGes-I know man that has made snug
little fortune in willow splints for baskets.
Knoggs-Thats nothing. There's Spaniard
in Madrid who's made several hundred thou
sand dollars OUT of bullrushes.-DetrOit Free
Press.
Il HAVE been riding on this line for ten
years. y remarked q man in surface car to a
fellow passenger.
'Then you probably got on two or three
blocks before me, replied the latter. -Hafper's
Bdzdr.
MISS LUcY-Has Aunt Belinda made much
progress in riding, Weblyn?
Riding Master-Weli, miss l can't say as 'ow
she rides very well as yet, but she falls hoff a
deal more gracefully as wot she did at fust."-
Funny Folks.
THE current cause celebre has been utilized
ingeniousy by tobacconist at Leeds. whose
name happens to be Wilson. During the last
few days sandwich men have been walking
round the streets with the following query:
Where do you get your baccar-at? Why,
Wilson S. Poll Mall Gazette.
AFTER THE CIRCUS. rs everything reversed
in the looking glass, papa?" asked Jimmieboy.
Yes, everything, said papa
Then I'm glad I'm not a looking glass boy, "
observed Jimmieboy. Il don't think I'd like to
have an elephant ride around circus ring on
my shoulders. II drper's Bdzar.
INA TOWN up north an ex. judge is cashier of
bank. One day recently he refused to cash
check offered by a stranger. "The check is all
right" he said, "but the evidence you offer in
Identifying yourself as the person to whose
order it is drawn is scarcely sufficient. F" I've
known you TO hang man on less evidence,
judge" was the strangers response. Quite
likely" responded the ex-judge, but when it
comes to letting go Of cod cash we have to be
careful st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Never" writes an English critic never out
of London have l heard such conversation in
our own tongue as have listened to in Boston"
This recalls the reply. given by popular En-
lish writer to an incipient poet who wanted an
opinion on some verses. Truly" said the
| famous one, II have never read anything like
| your poetry" And the poet went away and
was happy until in a moment OF painful retee-
| ton chilling doubt began to wedge itself into
| his Consciousness. Compliments like these
sound flattering, but under analysis they reveal
horrible double meanings.-Chfca0o Netos
Col HlsoP, who had recently gone to Sardis
| to help King Croesus TO pull through some
| political Jobs went out for a stroll up and
down Broadway, the principal thoroughfare of
lated to the king the following story: An Ass
met Calf one afternoon. Jaw. deah boy"
said the ASS. You look i'll" "Yaas. =" answered
the Calf; caught a dweadful cold this mawn
| ing" MY, myi'' said the Ass. did you sit
| in a dwaft?" ''Yaas," answered the Calf: sat
wight neah q vulgar fellow who whistled for his
| dog" When the distinguished fabler had con-
| cluded his story the king said "Esop, some
of your yarns are rather hard to believe. For
| example, i can hardly imagine asses and calves
conversing one with another" THAT brings
me TO my moral" said Esop. Rich men
should see that their sons become not asses and
calves. Detroit Free Press