The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1891-03-14
SPECIAL PLEADING.

She-And you really love me!
He-fes, my angel.
She-Oh, but can't marry you. feel
certain couldn't make you happy.
He-Oh, but. dear, I'm of the most con
tented disposition-you don't know how
easily pleased am.-LEpoch.
BAD SIGN.
Patient-lIow do YOU dare to advcr.
tise Teeth extracted without pain"
Dentist--Why, didn't hurt you while
extracting that tooth. You were under
| the influence of gas.
Patient know. 1t is your bill that
pains me.
IN ,'sOCIEAY."
There was a little social gathering at
| the residence of Judge Peterby, and
| Colonel Yer"cr, who was present, OBJ
served the ladies, who were all together Al
| the parlor, were not very talkative, so IA
said to Judge Peterby:
''How little those ladies have to say to
| each other"
"Just wait until one of them goes
away. and then listen to what the rest
have to say about her. You don't I'M
derstand the fair sex, Colonel IerSer.'
| -ITexas Siftings.
GRACE AND CAKE.
Dir. Bingo-Well, Tommy, what did
you learn at Sunday school to-days
TOMMY learned how to say grace.
Mr.. BingO-Let's hear it.
Tommy (meekly)-It only goes with
two pieces of cake.
LUCKY MAN.
PatrickIBe jabers. Oh waz boom
lucky. Jist afther leavin' tn mouse this
mornin' Oh was Knocked down boi
cab; wan block beyand that Oi were
| caught in pavement explosion; block
| beyant agin Oi were mistOok for thafe
an cloobed boi a polacemOn; an phin
Oh got to worruk, big stone from tn
buildin' fell an cracked me shoulder.
Bystander - Where does the luck
come in!
Patrick - Faith. Amt Oh alOive
YETI New York Weekly.
HIS OPPORTUNITY.
He-They tell me you arc very smart,
Miss Modesto
Miss Modesto Oh, no. think am
| one OF the foolish virgins.
He-Nell, thcn-perhaps-you would
marry me9
TWICE lie wEPT.
Wife--Oh, George! Willie got his
little hand caught in the folding doors
to-day, and crushed his fingers horribly.
He cried and cried until was really
frightened.
George - Poor little chap! I hear
him crying yet; where is he!
Wife-Oh, he's crying now bccausel
won't let him do it again. Christmas
Puck.
A BLEAK PROSPECT.
Husband-My dear, we will have to
begin to economize right off.
Wife-Dear me! What has happencd'
acknowledges have gone up
| New York Weekly.
MIXING HIM UP.
A boy about ten years old entered
hardware store on Gratiot street and
asked if they kept nails.
"No, sir" promptly replied the clerk.
"You'll find 'em next door in the MILL.
merry store"
That's funny" said the boy, As he
looked around. 81 was in there the
other day to ask if they kept bonnets.
aud they told me to come in here for
'em. guess I'll have to go to butcher
shop Detroit Free Press.
FLATTERY OvERDoNE
"Madam," said the tramp, suavely, to
the woman of the house, ''you will have
no objections, l hope, to my remaining
on your back porch q few moments to
rest myself and inhale the odor of that
delicious young prairie chicken you are
cooking"
"How do you know it's young prai-
RE chicken7" she demanded.
"Why, /"
"How do you know it isn't quail. or
venison, or Rocky Mountain sheepa"
"Madam, assure you"
"How do you know it isn't canvasback
duck, or Carolina ricebirds, or blue
winged teal or diamond backed terra
pinY"
at seems good enough to be any of
them, am sure, and"
''H you've got any use of that red
nose of yours" retorted the woman,
''you know well enough it's a leathery
old barnyard hen. She's been cooking
for six mortal hours aud amt done yet,
and I've got no time to waste on sneak
ing, hypocritical, fiattering, cold vituals
loafcr. You git"
The tramp lost no time in obeying.
'The next house I tackle ha aaid