St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-10-03

"e only knew OF the perfect ways
Our feet might Oft have trod,
II We only knew.
All! only knew
1thtnk we'd pray rs life begun
tof strength to do rs well wish we'd done
0csths Packard Englet. in Housckecper.
AS FROM THE DEAD.
= Late Millionaire Tries to Or
cumvent His Widow.
Scene-Retirca corner in the reading
room OF m aristocratic uptown club
Two elegantly dressed gentlemen are
discussing wines, cigars and other local
topics.
Mr.. Charley Knickerbocker "a rising
young lswyer)-Wherc do you keeI
yourself after dark, nowadays? Inevcl
see you at the theaters or In the club
rooms
Mr.. Frank Court.and "a society man
-Between ourselves, in the strictest
confidence, devote five evenings of the
week in calling on a lady whom hope
70 lead to the altar one Of these fine
days
Charley with the air of q man who
has been there many a time)-You don't
tell me so? Amt you rather OVERRIDING
the courting business? Now. am pay.
ing addresses to Miss Bondclipper, and.
being in society. 1 understand what's
In good form. but it never occurs to me
to call more than twice a week. ]
really think that's as often rs she cares
to sec me.
Frank Earnestly - That's often
enough when you are counting young
girl but the object of my aspirations
Is . widow. When it comes to court
ing . widow, like advertising. you can't
ovcrdo it. know what am doing.
Charley-So she is o widow? If it
is not = leading question l should like
to ask what Is the name of the discon-
solate female whose bereavement you
arc trying to mitigate.
Ffank-The lady in the case is Mrs.
Van Slyclx, on Fifth avenue.
Charley (very much surpriscd)-I
don't wonder ut the frequency of your
visits. Old Van Slyck must have left
her over half million. She is a charm
ing lady, and deserves a good husband
after all she went through with that
old craven image. always heard sine
was badgered into marrying him by
her mother. who was after his money.
Frank-Wcre ycu acquainted with
my late predecessor-that is, If the
widow does not change her mind?
Charlie-I knew him only by sight,
but my old chum, Tommy Vanderclaim,
knew the family very well, and he told
me all about their married life. Old
Van Slyck was more than double his
wife's age, and as ugly as a crazy quilt
He had falsetto voice and false set
Of teeth. no hair on his head and was
bow legged besides. He was insanelv
and absurdly Jealous of his handsome
young wife, and made her miserable.
During the last few months of his
wretched life he became morbid and
morose, shut himself up in his study
and refused to allow anybody except
his English valet, Thomas, to come
near him II his widow was glad when
he died and wants to marry again no
boiy can blame her. Has the happy
day been fixed?
Frank with deep sigh No. it has
not. and that is what worries me.
Carrie loves me dearly and has consent
I'd To become my wife, but hcnever I
ask her to fix the date she hedges for
some mysterious reason that cannot
unite comprehend She seems to have
eome secret trouble on her mind
Charlic-Haven't you got any idea
what it is?
Frank-I have q vague idea that she
4. suoerstitious and that she imagines
that her late husband visits the prem
tees. He threatened to haunt the house
# she ever married again. DO you be-
lieve in spirits?
Charlie (sipping his wine)-Yes, if
chew are old and of the right brand;
but, putting jcsting aside, the fact that
r,hoeis never show themselves except
Sv : dim light and only to one person
n a time completely gives them away.
what shape does o!d Van Slyck take?
rnnk-I can't find ont Carrie
that is, Mrs Van Slyc!z-does not care
to talk much about it All l know Is
th.t the dread of being haunted by old
Nan Slvck's ghost prevents her fixing
t.e d.sc for our marriage Perhaps
She is preparing to fire me out Of her
Affections
Charlic-I don't think you need en-
Hertain an- apprehens;oas- She is
,rohably enjoying the sport OF playing
~ f;sh before she lands him. Some
~ She will rope you in as the widow
Ch.dizah did siohanr,ed The victim
NAV struggle against fate, but all at
once he sinks into the matrimonial sea
~ith . bubblins groan and all is over:
Fr.u,s (fcrvently)-I hope SO.
Charl;e-If I were in your place Id
any <piritoalist:c mani
x..t.t;ous that matsrializc. Somc rival
- Yours may be putting mp LITTLE
..ws On YOU Put Inspector Byrccs
8. % ~. track. Well. haze en- engage
m,,t Exit Mr.. Charles knickcr'
eocker.)
s..ce II interior Of the rarlor OF
.,s Van Slyclx mansionl-Mr. Franz
~. and Mrs Van Siyck are seen
!, earnest conversation.
" Frank (despair,ngly)-Wiu You no'
..il me, Carrie. why you treat 'ae 50