The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-05
BRIGHT BITS.

WAITER TO scientific man(-whats your
order, sir?
Scientific man Cabstractedly) -Eh-er-Mam
MALTA of course .-HGyUurd Ldnlpoon.
HARRY-How is it you stay so much later
than usual at Miss Pruyn's?
Jack-Spring cleaning; the old man doesn't
dare come down for fear OF tacks.-Ne0 YORK
Herald.
MOVED IN ON SArURDAY-Superinten
who is your neighbor?
Scholar don't know yet, sir. We haven't
had ter borrer anything since the folks moved
in next door.-Pttck
A HINDoo JOURNALIST, treating of some politi
cal disturbance, thus commented on it, I'VE can:
not from distances realize the intensity OF the
crisis, but it is certain that many crowned heads
must be trembling in their shoes. Exchange.
WEREN'T you able to meet your notes?"
asked business man of an unsuccessful asso
ciate
Meet them Why I couldn't turn a corner
without encountering several " Washington
Post
AMERICAN (oracuarly)-You English have no
sense of humor. Your idea of a joke is some
thing ridiculous.
was also the American idea of a joke. Brook
Ign Life.
"AM 1 ON the books, sir" asked the bridge
policeman with awkward humility.
at doesn't make any difference whether you
are or not, st. Peter growled; I'VE can't have
loiterers on this cloud extension. Move on. ~
Neto York sun.
81 DO so love England" said De Peyster
ecstatically.
What do you SO like about it," asked
ITS so English" returned De Peyster.-
Brooklyn Life.
WHAT would Capt. Kidd do in these days of
ocean greyhounds and armored men ware
| asks contemporary. 1t is hard to say, but if
he still retained his keen business sense he would
| probably start cooperative loan association
NeiU York Recorder.
BRowN (early in the morning on side street,
| What is Jones fumbling in his waistcoat
| pocket for? He doesn't carry his latchkey
| there,
| Smith-No. Here is where he lives, and I
think he is feeling for clove.-Net0 York Re
cOrder.
Gys DE SMITH is counting the daughter of his
iandady but she does not reciprocate. He has
| at last become reckless, and on her repeated
| refusal 60 listen TO bis suit he said to her:
Miss Fannie, I'll give you until the 18th to love
me; if you don't do it then, I'll move out on
the list. '--Teras SUttngs.
MARQUIS DI RUDINI crushing down, panic
sticken, in his night clothes)-What was the
cause of that terrific shock few moments
| ago?
Attendant messenger says powder mag
| azine just outside the city has blown up.
| Marquis di Rudlni-Thank heaven Thought
it was another letter from Blaine.-C Chicago
| Tribune.
| YOU'VE MAN" said the stern father, 'do you
realize that my daughter is in the habit of wear
| ing dresses that cost all the way from $50 to
! Si0O2'
| II do, b" replied the young man, firmly, land.
| SIR. he continued, with an eXultant ring in his
| voice, it was only the other night that we took
| an account of stock and found that she had
| enough of them to last three years ahead. -
| CiOdk ReUielC.
| A HARRISBURG (PA.) CoRREsPoNDENTNvrites
! I'VE have few rural legislators here who can
| scarcely take care of themselves, let alone
looking after the interests of their constituents
| Only yesterday a gentleman from one of our
neighhoring counties who had just received his
| order for stamps went to the city postoffice to
| get them. What denominations? inquired the
clerk. Lutheran, said the member modestly."
| -H0tsekeepers Weekly.