The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-11-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Eaten out of house and home-Picnic
lunches. Boston NeUs.
The "words that burn" go into tho
waste-paper basket first.
Experience is the cream of life-but
1t sours with age.-Teras Sytings.
"Mr. Enpeque has run away with his
wife" "That was a shrewed move."-
Puck.
"What an odd paper weight you
have!" ''Yes. It's my wife's first bis
cult"
The best way to prevent ram is to get
everything ready to plant turnips.-GaL-
VestoH NeDs.
The stoutest soldier will sometimes
quail before his wife's baking POWDER
Valley Ne,cs. -.
The woman who says she "has waited
an age" is very carosnl not to add it to
her own.-Pack. -
"The Chinese are a queer race"
"Arent they. What you might call
scrub race, too."-Life.
g. never have any luck" groaned
Chipsley. "You are fortunate. 1 have
pl3nty, and it's all bad. ."-Pucb.
He (proudly)-"My motto is live and
lei live" She (weariIy)-'T wish it
was sleep and let sleep. ."-Bostoa Courier.
Photographer-"Now, look pleasant,
please" Customer-"It is quite impos-
sible, SIT. I'm ticket agent in rail-
road Office"
He-"Are you sure you care for me-"
She-'T wish you wouldn't be so sus-
picious. Have l asked yet to see your
bank book2"-Life.
Age before beauty-After time has
turned it into antiquity, PEOPLE may go
crazy over the ugliest article we can
make to.day.-Judge.
Miss Dorcas-"Have the poor any
pleasure, think you2" Miss Ann Thrupe
-"Oh, yesl They criticise the charac-
ters of the rich. "-Puck.
"Do as l say" thundered an angry
father. "My will shall be law" "Well,
then, I'll bet it wasn't drawn by law
YER" returned his son.-Lite.
"Pa, how do you scaIp9" said the In-
dian boy to ster-that-Laughs. "First
catch your hair" sententiously replied
the noble red man.-B3stoa Transcript.
He swore long ago to succeed in life,
And the crown that he wears is not dim;
For race-horse to-day is namel for his
wife,
And tug-boat is called after him.
Judge.
Architect-''What do you think of
my design for the female collegel"
Friend--'I notice one incongruity--it
has man-sord roof. ."-BiHghdmtoR Re-
publican.
"Pop, what does commons meant"
"Why, food-rations. "Then," said
the smart youngster, with wink,
"isn't hotel the House of Commonsp
Baltimore american -
sis that the President of the bankl"
(which onel" "That stylish looking
fellow who says, Il aud the Board Of
Directors so much" "No; that's the
janitor. "-Brooklya Life.
"No wonder the papers talk about po-
litical extravagauces, said Mrs. Gill
hooley. "Didn't l hear my husband
talking the other day about a convention
that wanted silver platform r'-Bati-
more AHlericda
Visiting Aunt Consulting railroad
guide)-"I never could understand one
of these things. It's all Greek to me-"
Boston Child (aged three)-"Ii that's all
it Is, auntie, let me have it. I'll read it
for you. 20 Chicago TriJane.
Responsibility: "To look at that
young clerk one would think that he
carries a greater weight of responsibility
than the proprietor" "Well, he does,
for that matter. The proprietor can
make mistakes without losing his job"
Indianapolis Journal.
"Now, gentlemen" said the eloquent
advocate, 81 leave the case in your
hands. In closing have just one re-
mark 10 make" And the experienced
juror in the dark corner OF the box set
tied himself for another comfortable
half-hOur nap.-BuBdiO ErDress.
She assisted the fire with the kerosene can:
She always persisted in following that plan
In spite of her missuss rage,
And now she has flown from this duh vale
of tears
At the soft, tender age of uiuety-live years
She had 10 succumb TO old age,
-MdidudpOiis Journal
According to the Burlington Hl,oIsyo
an old stage driver remarks that life may
he compared to set of harness. 1T
has uraces of care, bits of good
fortune, breaches of good manners,
bridlsd tongue, and every one has a tug
TO pul. through 1t may be added
tnat it is saddled with great responsibili-
ties.--LOWeH Courier,