Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-12-24

tiuio nt the Cheap Jack work. a. his dy-
ing observations wont 20 prove. But I
top him. don't say e because it's my.
self, but because IL has been universally
acknowledged by all that has had the
means u comparison have worked ut
II. j have measured myself against other
puhlics pcakcrs -mombcrs VI parliament.
platforms, pulpits, counsel learned In the
law--and where | have found en- good,
| have took a bit OF Imagination from
'cm, and whore have found 'cm bad. /
haye let 'om alone. Now IN tell you
what linoan TO go down into my grave
declaring that Of al the calling. IN used
ia Great Britain, the Cheap Jack calling
g. the worst used. Why amt we pro-
fosfi0ni Why amt we endowed With
privileged Why arc We forced to take
ont q hawkcr's license. when no such
thing Is expected Of the political hawk.
c-' Whofcs the difference bctwixt usl
Except that We ac Cheap Jacks and
they are Dear Jacks. don't seo any DIFF.
ference but whats IN our favor.
For look hcrvl Say It's election time.
! am on the iooib1nrd N my cart IN tao
market place on q Saturday night. trut
up q general miscellaneous lot fayi
"Now here, my FREQ nud independent
voters. I'm going TO give you such .
chance as yun mover had Ia an your born
days, nor yet the days preceding Now
III show You what | am going 10 do
with you llrrca q pair of ruzors tharu
shave you closer than tho board "
guardians. hcrus natiruu worth H.
weight Ia gold. here's frying pan arti.
Totally favored with essence Of beef.
steaks 10 that degree that You've only
got Tor tho rest Of your lives 10 fry bread
and dripping in It aud there you nre ~
plete with animal food; here. genuine
chrouometor watch. Ia such solid 10.
ycr case that you may knock at the door
with Il when You come homo late from
social meeting, aud rouse your wife and
family, aud save mp your knocker for
the postmgn, and here's half q dozen din.
ner plates that you may play tho Gym.
balls with 10 charm the baby when It's
fractions. stop! III throw you In an.
other article, and IN give You that, and
it's a rolling pin; and " the baby can
only get it well into ne mouth when is
teeth IS coming aud rub the gums once
with It ihcy'll come through double. In
a III Of laughter equal 10 being ticklcd.
stop again! Ill throw you In another
article. because don't like the looks Of
you, for you haven't the appearance OF
buyers unless lose by you. and because
I'd rather lose than not take money 20.
night. and that's looking glass, IN
which you may seo how ugly you look
when You don't bid, What do you say
now Comet Do you say pound; Not
you, Tor YOU haven't got Il. Do you say
ten ahillIngsi Not you, for you owe
more 10 the tallymgu. Vol, then, IN
tell you what III do with you. IN hear
'cn all on the footbOurd OF the cart
thcro they arcl rdzofs, natiron, frying
pan, chronomoicr watch, dinner plates.
rolliugpin and looking GINS take EN- all
away for four shillings, and IN give you
sixpcncc for your troubled" This Is me,
the Cheap jack. But on Monday morn.
lug. in the Same market place. comes
the Dear Jack on the hustinss-his car.
and what does hctayi
'Now ruy FREQ and independent wot.
ors, / am a.going 10 give you such .
chance die begins just like mel "as You
never had in all your born days, aud
that's the Glance Of sending myself 10
parliament. Now III tell you what am
R-golng 20 do Tor YOU. Here's tho inter.
tsis OF this magnificent town promoted
above AL the rest OF tho civilized and un.
civilized earth. Here's your railways
carried, ind your neighbour railway.
jockeycd. Here's all your sous ia the
postoiice, Here's Britannia smiling on
You. Here's the eyes Of Europe on ven.
Hcrcs universal prosperity for YOU. r..
plctiun o. animal food, golden confclds,
glulsome homcstcads, aud rounds of an.
plausc from your own hearts. all In Que
lot aud that's myself VIII you take
me as standy You won't2 Well, then,
I'll tell you what III do with you.
Come now! III throw you In anything
You ask for There, Church rates,
abolition Of church rates, more malt tax,
no malt tax. universal education 10 the
highest mark, or universal Ignorance to
tue lowest, total abolition Of logging In
the army ora dozen for every private
once a month all round. Wrongs Of men
or rights of womcn-ouly say which IL
shall bee, take 'om or leave en-, aud I'm
of your opinion altogether, aud the lori
your own on your own terms. There,
You won't take 1t yet! Well, then, III
tell You what III do with you. Comet
You are such free and independent wot.
ers, and am so proud of you-you arr
such q noble aud enlightened constitu.
ency, and | am 80 ambitious u the honor
and dignity ~ being your member. which
Is by far the highest Lowell 20 which tho
wing 81 the human mind can SOAR
that I'm tell You what IN do with Won
I'll throw you in all the public houses In
your magnificent town Tor nothing.
VIII that content you; II won'I You
won't tako the lot yeiY Well then, be.
fort | put the horse Ia aud drive away.
aud make the offer 10 tho next most
magnificent town that can be- discovered.
III tell you what IN do Take tho lot,
and III drop two thousand pounds In
the streets Of your magnificent town for
them 90 pick up that can. Not enough
Now look here. This IA the very fur.
thest that am a.going 10. III make Il
two Thousand Eve hundred. And eth
you wou'u Here, mis,isl Put the horse
no, stop half moment, | shouldn't
Hike 10 turn my back ulon you, neither,
Tor tribe. III mako II two thousand
seven hundred md fifty pounds. Thercl