Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-06-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A darkness that may be felt--A black
hat.
The disinherited son is punished with
will.
"We meet but to part" as the comb
said to the brush.
The royal chef does things to the
Queens taste. c.-Pittsbu,y Post.
1t takes very prompt man to be a
hero to his tailor.-New York Herald.
The lobster is not noted for its bash
fulness; but it turns red on getting into
shot water" ."-Puck.
1t is an odd thing that the temperate
zone contains the hardest drinkers on the
face of the earth.-Puek.
"I say, Bill"( shouting to another sales
MANI, "got any more of those diamond
necklaces for 81. 1.49q-Lye.
The value of compliment lies in its
placing. "Heart of oak" is more pleas
antly received than .'woodon head. -
Puck.
"Sweet nothings!" he exclaimed soft
Iy, as he looked at the row of ciphers
after the figure on the check Washing
ton Post.
''I'm going to write an immortal
poem" "What's your recipe2" Gin
delIble ink on asbestos paper. ."-Aunsey's
Weekly.
So many people have the look on their
faces as if they had been allowed one
last strike at something and missed it.
Atchis0n Globe.
When tramp is fortunate enough to
get hold of the upper portion of roasted
fowl he generally makes clean breast OF
it.-Teras Siftings.
Parrott-"How many great titles end
in 'or'-Emperor, legislator, editor"
Virgins (who lives in tlat)-"Yes, and
janitor "-Hdrper's Bazar.
With the same finger with which she
has Just dashed tear from her eye
woman artfully arranges stray lock of
hair on her temple. FLiegende BIaetter.
'.Man wants but little here below"
That's all quite true, and yet,
I'd like to see the man that won't
Take all that he can get.
Life.
Mr.. Jones Gas the grizzly draws up on
him)-"Oh why can't l remember
whether it's grizzly or a brown bear
that can't climb ?"-HarUard Lam
poon.
''What do you do with that baseball
mask" "Why, Johnny is very bad
sometimes, and the only closet have to
shut him up in is where the preserves
are safe. ."-Harpey's Bazar.
On four seats of a railway car.
Amidst his traps. the drummer sat,
And wished he had but one seat more
In which to place his high silk hat.
Puck.
One of England's advantages: 81 do
so love England, said De Peyster ecstat-
ically. "What do you so like about itg"
asked Brouthers. ''It's so English" !"
returned De Peyster. Brooklyn Life.
''Nature rarely wastes, but sometimes
she does," said Mehitabel at the circus.
''Look at the elephant, for instance.
Two tails practically, and yet with a
hide impervious to flies. ."-Ne,o York
| Sun.
The milk of human kindness
Is gift supreme; :.
But our impecunious friend "a
Always wants the cream.
Puck.
| Aunt Ann--.sHow can you be content
to waste your time reading these trashy
novelsa Just listen to this: They
sat hand in hand, speechless with the
sweet intoxication of first love. Intoxi-
cation of first love! BAH" Laura
stBut, auntie, it must have been due to
their ardent spirits. ."-lndianapolis Jour
| nal.
A little five-year- Irish boy in one
of our public schools was reproved by
his teacher for some mischief. He was
/ about to deny his fault, when she said
81 saw you, jerry" eyes, /" he replied,
as quick as a flash, 81 tells thin there
amt much yous don't see wild thin purity
black eyes of yourn." That was the soft
answer that turned away wrath; for what
L. = III - FL