The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-09-09
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Bobby "a thoughtful child, of a spec
ulative turn of mind)-Paw? Father
(fretfully)-Yas, vas, what is it now
Bobby Do you think will be as eros:
as you are when | grow up?
DR.. DOsum (to graduating medical
studentl-If you should make a mis-
take and give your patient an overdose
Of laudanum, what would you do? Stu
dent "a truthful mani i would buy up
the coroner.
Singular Phenomenon Explained /:
DeacOn-The collection this morning
was gratifylngly large, Mr.. Pound ext.
Rev. Mr.. Poundtext Yes, deacon, I
noticed quite a number Of strangers in
the congregation.
Why We Are Indulgent: Miss
Gushley L see that late writer says
American husbands are the most in
dulgent in the world. Mr.. Henpeck IA
married man)-That's easily explained.
We have to be.
Gentleman (on tenth floor Of tene-
mentl-Mrs. Hoolihan, would We be so
koind as to lend me this flask of whis-
key? I've got to bate me ould oman
the night. and ] haven't the heart to
do it whOilst Pm sober.
An Honest Mans JOY: Brown
What is the matter, Dumley? You
look happy this morning. Dumley-
Yes, Pm out of debt. Every bill |
owed was outlawed yesterday, and /
feel like a man, now that / am square
with the world once more.
Chauncey NJ. Depew the other morn
ing found his coachman's children play
ing about the premises. and he intro
duced himself: "Well, my little
friends, do you know who l am ?"
"Yes," replied one Of the youngsters
scOrnfully; you're the man what rides
in fathers carriage"
Speeches to be Lived Down: Hos
tess-Mr. Grandson, | feel flattered
by your presence tonight. They told
me you'd given up everything in the so
cial way. Mr.. GrandisOn-SO have.
That is, everything Of impOrtance-er
Il mean what hot weather we've been
having.
Extravagant Suggestion: Deacon
We will want some oysters for a church |
festival we are getting up for tomorrow
night What kind have you got ?
Oyster Dealer-Blue Points and saddle
rocks, sir. Deacon-Well, / hardly
know which TO select. Dealer (timidly) |
Why not take one Of each, sill?
Theory and Practice: Waiter-You
ire late for lunch, sir. Eminent Ply
;ician-Yes, | had to finish my maga-
zine article on the Laws Of Health"
What have you to-day? Waiter-Hot
rolls, clans, plum pudding, apple
lumplings, mince pie, and fruit cake.
Eminent Physician-Bring 'em all.
Doctor" said the patient, Il am
sure there is something wrong with
ny stomach" "Not bit of it." re-
Dlied the doctor promptly. God made
Tour stomach, and he knows how TO
make them. There's something wrong
With the stuff you put into it,maybe,and
something wrong In the way you stuff
{ IN and tanp it down; but your stOm-
lch is all right.
Under Good Discipline: "Yes, gem
lemen," said the colonel, dropping a
ump Of sugar in hIs glass, ''the true
soldier never grumbles at discipline.
No matter how unreasonable the orders
nay be, they must be obeyed unques-
ionlngly. The true soIdiernever-"
"Paw," interrupted the colOneps lit
le boy, opening the door, "maw say
,ome home at once"
"Gentlemen," said the colonel, leay-
NC his glass untasted, good day."
This is the sorrowfullest fact We have
o know about our own lives: wisdom
ever forgives. Whatever resistance
Te have offered to her law, she avenges
brewer the lost hour can never be
edeemed, AMI the accomplished wrong
ever atoned for. The best that can
e done afterwards, but for that, had
cen better; and the falsest Of all the
ries Of peace, where there is no peace,
} that Of the pardon Of sin, as the mob
xpect it. Wisdom can "put away"
in, but she cannot pardon it.-RuSkin.
An Unqualified Apology: He must I
e a very unreasonable man who would {
ot be satisfied with the following apOl-
", which actually appeared some time
20 in the Patriot, South African d
ewspaper: 81, the undersigned, here :
y retract everything l have said a.
ainst the eminent Mr.. G. p. Bezuiden-
owt, striking my mouth with the ex-
"You mendacious mouth,
-hy do you lie so? ] declare further |
hat know nothing against the char c
cter Of Mr.. G. p Bezuidenhowt. / Il
all myself besides a genuine liar Of the
rSt class. Signed; A. du Plessis." !"
Two Points of View: "You will |
ome to our church supper tomorrow ]
Mr.. Simpson, of course" said ]
IelIie, with a bewitching smile; "and I
ou must bring lots of money with you"
Mr.. Simpson was so overcome BY the
nile that he was on his knees before :
a Lnaw n and nresentlv evervtbin0