St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-28

pute." What's the matter with electing
Democratic presidents
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Pittsburg is not discouraged. The Dispatch
of that city advises the smoky denizens
the Smoky City to brush the coal cinderss
from their eyes. pull off their coats and work
hard during the coming four years for one
or both of the national political conventions
This is Pluck with big P. You can't bluff
the Pittsburgers.
The attention of the fair sex is invited to
the fact that, according to the technicality
of the shoe trade, a third of an inch is a
size" Now mark the conclusion. Even
the woman who wears skies can boast of
foot but two inches in length.
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The king of Samoa receives $40 year; his
adviser" 5000. Still, it is worth 5000 to
pump intelligence into a thick-headed
Samoan, even though he be born to the
purple and spotted all over with insignia of
royalty.
Waiter lin Chicago restaurant)- What is it,
gents?
First Customer-A rare steak
Second Customer-Same for me-
Waiter tBawling down the haiD-Horse
| and horse.
AS the time draws near for the impending
presidential campaign, a number of news
papers IN the land are exhibiting the usual
| quadrennial feverishness over Editor
Charles A. Dana's Democracy" The truth
is, If Dana has any genuine Democracy con-
| cealed about his persoS it is in microscopic
quantities. If Mr.. Dana is not a Mugwump
OF the deepest dye, the term is misnomer.
a.
The Northwest is the place to nominate
New York Democratic candidate for presi-
dent This will insure success in New York
state and in the Northwest St. Paul is the
one particular spot in the Northwest suitable
for such q convention. The Northwest is alb
soluteiy necessary to Republican success.
Spike the cannon of ''our friends the enemy"
by holding the Democratic national conven-
ton at st. Paul.
The Chicago Inter Ocean announces, with
considerable aplomb tina: 1.-The Southern
press is alarmed" This is important if true,
and serves to remind US that the Southern
press is trotting in the same class with the
Northern Republican press.
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Illinois did not secure the convention, but
dogs and Chicago restaurants are still pur-
veying fine, rare cuts of horsesteak to happy
go-lucky citizens who do not much care
what they eat so long as there is plenty of it
on the table,
You must wake and call me early. Elijah,
for It's plain
1 cannot get up too early to get ahead of
Blaine.
Even now the awful echo of cheer comes
floating down
From the Nor'west, from the limits Of the
new convention town.
They are whooping things for Jimmy, and
their hustling isn't slow,
So 1 must get up early if I'd have the faint
est show.
From B. Harrison's New Poem, THE June
Bug"
The New York delegation went sadly
homeward, each one, with the exception of
Col. Elliott F. Shepard, kicking himself be-
cause he did not have the wit to sit on Col.
Elliott F. Shepard coat tail and pin him to
| his chair.
Attention, Democrats Editor Charles A.
! Dana will now be seen in the justly cele-
brated role in which fhis eccentric comedian
| has SO long edited and amused the public,
viz: The Bun in the China shop" Editor
| Dana is now tying on his horns and will soon
| appear, walk three times around the ring ana
retire behind the curtain.
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Why are the Yale students like Carmen
cita? I'VE pause for repIy) Aheml Be-
cause they have kicked themselves into popu-.
lar favor. TIE hei Plain thank you; moth
! ing on the side.
A BOSTON MAID
She knows all science under the sun
She beats the Dutch;
And that's why she's single at forty-one-
She knows too much.
Puck.
FORAKER.
He wags his tongue with earnest vim
Ne'er saw you such
A mill. The senate's not for him
He talks too much.
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Jim Blaine promises B. Harrison. for a
! Christmas present Il candid decision whether
/ or no he, jim Blaine, will accept the Re
| publican nomination for presidential Min
| neapolis. Meanwhile B. Harrison will cud-
Gle down in his cosy nest of pins and
needles.
A wealthy Chicago haberdasher has re-
| Gently completed q marble palace up on
Michigan boulevard. which contains, among
a multitude of other modern improvements.
n complete barber shop. The millionaire in
| his own household will invariably be next
1t is to be hoped that the same comfortable
| position will be his when he comes to inter
| view St. Peter.
Chicago Is preparing to move on congress
with request for loan Of S5.OOOOO0. By
the time she gets it negotiated st. Paul will
| have secured the national Democratic con-
vention.
The old saw, "Few die and none resign"
| is likely to receive backset in the case of
Da Fonseca. The ex-diciator has already re
signed, and is now in imminent danger
dying also.
The St Louis Republic says: THE strong
| est argument Minneapolis could give the Re-
publican national committee 10 secure the
| Republican convention was that it is close
/ to St. Paul. who advised people to take a lit
| tie wine for their stomachs' sake" If the
Republican delegates will abstain from TAX
ing whisky for their own sake we may be
happy yet.
Chicago has. we consider unwisely, in a
| splenetic mood. fred about fifty superanu-
ated police officers from the force These
discharged coppers know a great deal about
| Chicago's municipal erookedness. and should
| they all get to talking at once the political
atmosphere might become heavily surcharged
| with electricity.
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A distant relative of Son Russell's has been
trying to use Son Russelrs family as an ad-