Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-07-29
HOW THEY WERE MARRIED.
A Wedding I'm Wisconsin with Some Excite
ing Accomplishments.


ing Accomplishments.
A Nilvilla Dane county, Wis, correspondent
OF the New York Herald writes: have Just wit
messed what might be called q marriage m
queer life. The bride was short and fat The
groom was tall and thin. On her cheeks was
the hue of the red, red rose; on his was the
bloom OF the pumpkin blossom. They rode in .
two-wheeled dog cart behind q tall, gaunt
horse. The legs Of the steed were ornamented
with ringbones and spavins and the shriveled
SKIN chung caressingly to his protruding ribs.
They drove direct to the Methodist Episcopal
parsonage. He hitched post to his horse and
helped the short, fat lady to slight. She came
down ''ka-chug" with one heel planted square
on the biggest corn on his biggest toe.
my love-h-lI o. l.. Here comes
the parsoar and the agitated face grew cain
and the bent back Strengthened.
Darling" the rose hues deepened. when
we git home an I'm your wife, I'll put q mus
tard plaster on your corns. didn't know you
had EN- 80 bad. Oh. here il the minister
You must tell him, Sam; can't" and coyly
the blue eyes sought the ground.
About this time enterprising humble bee
found small opening between SANS white
shirt and sand-colored linen trousers and van
ished therein.
''Parson Willows" began the lank youth. in
out, me and Sal wants to get spIiced. Can
you-Lord almighty" and the tall form
doubled up like a half-openee jackknife and
then bounded into the air as if fired by OOO-
pound.pressnre spring. ouch! ouchl Kill
IL quick, Sail Its On the small of my back -
and the long legs and arms executed a series Of
movements that would have discouraged the
hyehest jumping jack in the universe. sal"
sprang to the rescue. but as she did 80 her foot
caught IN her dress and she pitched forward,
lGfr lnWafr no. l.U.l
IL, with the force OF a battering ram, on the ex-
act spot where the brave humble bee WAS do
ing his level best to make things lively for the
prospective bridegroom, and down tbey both
went sprawling at the feet of the minister
Al the tall, thin youth and the short, fat
lady arose to their feet Parson Willows
solemnly remarked: Young man, YOU have
beautifully illustrated Bible truth, for doth
not the good book say; Its hard 70 kisk
against the pricksr"
The adventurous humble bee was smashed, az
was also the ladys brand-new wedding hat
The young mans coat was split I'D the back
and the wreck of his collar fioated, fike signal
of distress, out from beneath his beardless chin
while II took the combined weight Of the pres
ence OF the minister, his betrothed and lis we'd
ding day TO hold his temper down.
At length everything was arranged and ex-
plain TO the satisfaction of all concerned and
the blushing couple followed Parson willows
into the parlor and we're there made one accord
ing to the orthodox style.
On returning to their steed and two-vhseled
chariot great their CONSERVATION 70 and
that he, like many great hero, had dropped
dead III his harness and lay on his hip and knee
bones sans the breath Of life
Said he: "oh Sal, even you can hardly recon
Gle me TO the loss Of Tom. He was such q De-
tient horse and ate so little"
Said she; dear Sam, never mind Tom nov.
Think Of me. I'm your wife and can never
walk home. Just take the harness Oh that old
Carcass and put yourself in Toms place. 'Tain's
only four miles home, an know you paid the
minister the only dollar you had in the world,
so you can't hire anybody else 70 take N
there"
The tall, thin man looked into the rosy, rsss-
lutte face OF the short, fat woman and tAsa.
with taint sigh, did - he was hidden
And thus this newly married couple took up
the tangled and henceforth interviewer threads
OF their Lives, he between the thills ard she
upon the seat Of . two-wheeled dog cart and
slowly vanished from the ken Of your GORE
spondent