davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
NINE JOKES.

A seaside engagement, Alicia, is like
q politician after election, because it is
always "broke. Boston Traveller.
"What was your objection to my pre-
deceSsor, King TOtem?" asked the mis-
Sionary.
ale was a person of very bad taste"
returned the eannibal, making wry
face.-New York Herald.
"This is regular fall weather." re-
marked the wit; 1.-THE leaves are falling,
the nuts are falling, and the rain is fall
ing"
"Humph!" growled paterfamilias,
''but coal isn't. "-Harper's Bazaar
1t is a peculiar fact that the black
sheep of the family almost invariably
leaves home and gets tieeced.-NeW
York Herald.
Swosher-Great Scott, man, you look
as though you had been wrestling with
a cyclone. Where have you been?
Tingler-WOrse than that | dis
played 80 bill at church fair!-
Boston Traveller.
The Judge Officer Grady, please ar.
rest Lawyer Cases attention.
Grady-Yes. sor, av you'll please make
out tn warrant.-Spare Moments.
Hoffman Howes The world owes
every one living, doesn't it?
Temple Court-Of course 1t does.
Hoffman Howes-Well, collect mine
from it for me, and III give you half
Harper's Bazaar.
A young man home from college,
wishing to inspire his little sister with
awe for his learning, pointed to star,
and said:
isis, do you see that bright little Ium-
mary? It's bigger than this whole
world''
mo faint" said Sis
Eyes, it Is," declared the young col
legian.
Then why don't it keep off the rain?"
was the triumphant rejoinder.-Spare
Moments.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
Use FOR MTLLIONAIRES.

In Maine the Solons have been
wrestling with the taxation question.
The last legislature designated a COM
mission to invent some method to in
duce those whose taXables are OF the
personal property soft to bear reason
able proportion of the burdens of raising
The public revenue. No new scheme
was discovered, and the only relief the
experts suggest is more rigid quest by
the assessors. But another New Eng
land investigator has struck upon
scheme that will relieve the difficulty
and rejoice the main body of taxpayers,
f it can be made to work. 1t is delight
full in its uniqueneSs and simplicity.
The New England Magazine, one of the
most conservative and substantial of all
the periodicals, gives the outline of the
charming scheme. 1t is based upon
principles as much above the grovel-
ing nature of the ordinary sort
of taxation as the twenty-story build
ing to rise in Chicago will be superior
in altitude TO the tepee Of the late Mr..
SITTING BULL. 1t does away with all
compulsory work that involves financial
discomfort to the many. All the extra
ordinary expenditures are to be pro-
vided for by the persuaded and en-
lighted millionaire. He is to be inn
pressed by kindly effort with the nature
eff his stewardship and relation to the
community. The writer illustrates in
this way:
Suppose for instance there is needed
city hail. We will not ask the poor to pay
taxes tor the new building, but we substan-
tally say to perhaps single very
rich man: Here is an opportunity for
an honorable public service We are
NIL aware that your wealth, which
all society has helped you to win. is more
than you or your children need Or deserve.
We, therefore. give you the opportunity to
recognize the obligation which you are under
to the city which has provided you with the
shelter of her laws and institutions. We
will allow you the privilege of giving the
city its hall" Who supposes that building
so given and superintendent by the care of
the giver, would offer any chance to the I'M
Serupulous for waste or jobbery2
Or, suppose there is need for a new park.
Let us appeal to the rich men and women of
the city 10 give us the park out of their SUI
perabundancc. What mere bagatelle the
gift of SIC coo, 600 or $50, 600. 900 would be
from the rich men of New York or Chicago
What could be nicer? The only diff
ficulty is in inducing the right frame of
mind in the moneyed parties. Perhaps
in the better time seen in the horizon of
the future, or little below, by the
prophets and discerners, that will be
the prevalent method, and the rich will
be the benefactors of the communities.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The mother and aunt OF a Chicago
five-year old had spent the greater part
of their time at the stores down TOWN.
for several days, and he had got tired
of it.
Well" lie said Yesterday morning,in
the tone of a deeply disgusted Young
man, Il suppose you two are going
shopliftIng again to-day" y Chicago
'Fribttnn
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
NEW YEARS AT SALTWATER.
The First Day of the Year in the
Bluff City.

New Years day was quietly observed
in this city yesterday. Services were
held at st. Michael's church i'll the fore
noon. The shops at the prison remained
closed all day and everything about the
city presented quiet, holiday appear
ance In the evening several social
parties were held. among them may be
mentioned the select dance given by the
York club at Opera House hall and the
masquerade ball at the b. and l.. hall.
Notwithstanding several reports to
the contrary. Hon. L. W. Durant's in
terest in the Durant-Daly legislative
contest continues undated. and the con-
test will be resumed to-day at the city
hall. The 'Brien-Searles contest will
also be taken up again this afternoon.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The impression that French duels are
the safest exercise common in France is
not quite accurate. ROCHEFoRT in his
career as editor was wounded seven
times i'll twenty three duels, and in a
few instances the other party was some
what annOyed.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
THE STORY OF A DAY.

Braddock, Pa, has riot.
A New Years reception is held at the
White house.
The Minnesota Educational association
convention continues its work.
The wife of Lieut.. Carnahan is drowned in
the Missouri river at Fort Sully.
A peculiar accident at Belmont, n. D., re-
suits in the death of physician.
Democrats and Independents are to mold a
Joint conference at Huron to-day.
The State Farmers Alliance adopts con-
slitution and platform and adjourns.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
IOWA PROHIBITION.

Iowa is one of the few states where
the prohibitionists have controlled and
used the Republican party so effectively
that no third party could get much
place. The effort of the policy Repub-
licans to shake loose from prohibition
has somewhat weakened the hold of the
latter. They have recently taken coun-
sci together and issued a declaration.
Their cause now depends upon the
fidelity OF the Republicans. The other
side demand submission of the ques-
ton to the people in direct vote on
retaining the prohibitory law, believ-
ing they can carry it. Should the Re-
publicans weaken and grant this, the
loss of the prohibition vote is threat
ened. Either way is disaster. The fact
is, the task is constantly becoming more
difficult to uphold prohibition as an eff
fective policy. 1t is fast playing out.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THE Chicago club men have under
taken big task in their scheme to have
the city cleaned and mended, land every
thing apparent to the eye, ear or nose
given Partisan touches before the fair.
The big job will come when they at
tempt to flavor the river.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
CLAKISSE.

Kiss you? Wherefore should /, sweet
Casual kissing / condemn;
Other lips your lips will meet
When my kisses die on them.
Should grieve that this should bal
Nay, if you will kiss, kiss met
Love you? That were vainer still!
If you win my love to-day,
When the morrow comes you will
Lightly laugh that love away
Should grieve that this should be!
Nay, if you must love, love me.
Wherefore play these tickle parts?
Life and love will soon be done:
Think you God made human hearts
Just for you to tread upon?
Will you break them. nor repine?
If you will, Clarisse, break mine.
F. l.. Stanton in Atlanta Constitution
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

LAST Sunday Boston was gloating
over. its remarkably fine sleighing and
brisk ice-making weather. There are
"reminiscences of such things here, and,
in fact, the thermometers this morning
suggest promise for frigid GOODNESS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THE governor of New Hampshire has
been censured for giving a man SEN
fenced to be hung date in 1892. The
law in that state cruelty requires a
lapse of q year between the conviction
and gallows. One would prefer not to
be hung at all than to wait so long.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THERE are usually about dozen SEN
ators lounging about the senate cham
Der of late, keeping up the appearance
of session, and affording chance for
those who have speeches. 1t was a
farce, affecting such industry as not to
take the usual recess in the holidays.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
40 HONOR JUDGE w1LK1N.

Tomorrow afternoon at 2 o'clock
there is to be an extraordinary term Of
the district court in the Ramsey county
court house. Judge WEsTCoTT WILKIN
will then complete the twenty-fifth year
of his occupancy of the district bench,
and the judges, the bar and the general
public are to unite in an expression to
him of their affection and respect. The
general management of the details of
the occasion is in the hands of COM
mittee of the bar, consisting of c. d.
O'BRnEN, GEORGE G. SQUREs and AM
BROsE TIGHE; and, while the complete
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

A KANSAS ClTT interviewer found
STANLEY as gloomy as the African
forests in which he had been lost until
his wife came into the room. when the
rscene changed, and the sunshine and
Iainbow after the storm were suggested.
it is evidently well that she travels with
him
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Mr.. BLAINE has indicated to man
from Oregon that he is going to give his
entire attention to his reciprocity
scheme. and will not be in the presi-
dentia field. If the scheme gets there,
of course he will let it lead him.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

In PENNSYLVANIA prominent paper
opposes legislation against oleomargar-
inc, on the ground that it is superior to
two-thirds of the butter sold there
They should send to the Northwest and
get some good butter.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

ACCORDING to the statement in an
Iowa paper. Minnesota built lis times
as much new railroad the past year as
did Iowa. The latter built one mile.
There we're no large figures III any of
the states about.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THE parties who propose to give S14,-
600, 900 for Alaska would fina competi-
tors if it were in the market. The i'm
preston is obtaining that its purchase
will prove to be the biggest real estate
deal of recent times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

and the legislature may be put under
that head. The members must be paid.
The blunder has been that the Repub-
lican majority has been so large that
there was no effective check to eXtraya-
gance and recklessneSS.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

A DEs MONIES paper speaks of two
theatrical companies going to grief
there recently. One of them, ladies and
all, walked to the next town. Fortu-
nately, the walking has been first-class.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

: A CONVENTION in Texas the other
day named S1,0OO.O00 as their idea of
what the legislature should put up for
the state exhibit at the Chicago fair.
Texas is big state, and realizes it.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

0THE recent collapse of two banking
houses in Chicago.and the scandals that
even Miss WILLARD cannot dissipate
in connection with them, have led to a
demand in that state for rigid scrutiny
of all private banks by an official expert.
That state is behind some others in this
matter. There should be stated and eX-
haustive inquiry into the stability and
security of all persons OF corporations
that invite the custody OF moneys as a
business.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
F. New York Independent. /,

The New York Independent, in
speaking of reference in the North
American Review to DoNNELLY's most
recent reflection upon SHAKESPEARE
as an author, says: "Some men remind
one of the crazy Irish setter barking up
an empty tree" But if it amuses the
setter, whose business is it?
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
A MERCENARY BACHELOR.
The maid was more than fair.

The maid was more than fair.
The maid was more tnan sweet
she'd " ealth OF soft and golden hair,
ESmile that was discreet.
Her smile was all for me
a bachelor most odd
And TO say am very free.
loved the ground she trod.
And yet the match was baked.
Because. GOOD sir. or dame,
The ground non which this maiden walke6
Stood III some others name.
-uarpers Bazaar.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Where are you going, my pretty maidt"
I'm going to Sunday school, sir. she said.
Can go with you, my pretty mGid.''
she laughed and roguishly shook her head.
you've week or two to spare" said she,
And then can be in on the Christmas tree?'
New York Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THE Indian war has fizzled out too soon
to swell the balloon of Gen. MILES as a
presidential possibility.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Amy with broken engagement to
Mary. about TO be married)-Aly dear
girl. do not make the mistake did with
my Charlie. Don't ask George to eat
any of your cooking until after you are
married.-Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

SUCcI does not draw as museum
freak. If he had kept on fasting few
weeks longer mis- value would have been
greater for the show business.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The physicians say go little slow in
the use of the KOCH lymph. Perhaps
they are unable to get any of it just yet.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

PRESIDENT ELLIOT, of Harvard col
lege, told the Massachusetts, teachers
the other day that their text books on
hygiene and physiology contained state
ments about the effect of alcohol On the
system that were mostly entirely I'M
true and improbable" Perhaps the
prohibitionists Will think he is crank
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

GOLD is quoted now in Buenos Ay res
at 222. They have plies of money there.
but the quality is bad
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

THE senate chaplain delivers his
PRAYER every morning as impressively
as if he had an audience.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The Chicago board of education has
decided not to admit the Bible to the
schools. The example of Banker KEAN
as Bible reader was probably used.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

innate that women are specially adapted
to the featuring business. Some men
do not get their deserts by this applica-
ton alone
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
LITTLE LAUGHS.

There was young fellow named Kipling.
Whose thoughts were both merry and rip
ping;
His work was much sought
By public that thought
That he did mighty well for STRIPPING.
Puck.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

AT the modiste's-"D you think this
hat suits my hair, Edward?" Its all
right suppose. Still, if it doesn't suit.
what's the matter with getting another
lot of hair?',- Fiiegeide Batter.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

$50 you say You want seven buttons
on is waist. Miss SuSys Must put
another or? well. yes. | think So.
You see. with six il never comes right
wien say He loves me-He doesn't
love me- think must nave one more
bu,,ou. - i, se..,,e Latter.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

A CHILD without a mouth was born in
Missouri recently. he will Fever be an
IGNATIUS DoNNELLY.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Ethel-Does this picture do me JUS
tice? Maud-It does something nobler.
dear; it shows you mercy.-New York
Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

TR1 WEEKLY-Daliy = Monday. Wednesday
and Friday.)
! VI in advance 81 90 { mos. in adv. .Sz w
months, in advance. 81 W.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

This weather will make it uncomfort-
able killing Indians.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

SOME are ungracious enough, in view
OF the coming Alliance lecturer, TO III
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Cleopatra and Helen fair
We're forty when their rows began;
And Mrs O'Shea was older yet
When she upset the home rule plan.
-Philadelphia Times
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

s"She actually broke her heart when
her husband died" That explains her
present anxiety to mend it by repair
ing ."-Philadelph Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

DAILY AND SUNDAY.
! yrin advance$1O % ) mos. in adv 81 81 81
Cm in advance 5 90 3 weeks in adv. W
One month ....o"c.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

A New York man blew out his
wife's brains Monday and then madIy
fred bullet through the brim of his
hat. New Workers are desperate fell
lows, whose courage is simply magniii-
cent.-Cnicago Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

There isn't much deception about
dreSsmakers. They are generally busy
When they seam sew.-Bing hampton
Leader.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

SUNDAY ALONE.
1yrIn advance 81 90 5 mos. in adv SOC
d m. in advance / 90 ] mo. in adv 2oc
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

When the announcement was made
that big Foot" had surrendered it
created the momentary impression that
Chicago had given up the worlds fair
in favor of New York.-New York
Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

WEEKLY ST. PAUL GLOBE.
One Year 81 Six No. 63c Three No. "oc
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

There are only nine parts of speech,
but you wouldn't think it to hear two
women fighting about their children
over the back fence. = Philadelphia
Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Rejected communications cannot be pre-
served Address all letters and kilograms 10
THE GLOBE. st. Paul, Mimi.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Bessie-He SAID he loved me. Jessie
He told me the same. Bessie
thought so. When [ refused him he
said he would do something desperate.
-Munsey's Weekly.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

.i!',Did she thank you for the seat?"
mo; but after she had settled down in
ltshe smiled sweetIy and begged me
not to rise. New York Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

g,Minnie-You hate to write letters?
Why. delight in it. 1t is no trouble at
ALL write just as L talk Mamie-You
never punctuate?- IDdlanapolis Jour-
nal.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
GOSSIP ABOUT GIRLS.

How can there be love at first sight
when love is blind?-St. Joseph News.
s'How was that football player so
badly injured?" Ale went Christmas
shopping with his sister" New York
Sun.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

81. PAUL GLOBE SUBSCRIPTION RATES
DAILY (NoT INCLUDING sunday
VT in advance. IS 90 3n III adVance1Z W
One month. ...1Vc-
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
Washington Star.

Two ladies met to fight it out,
Somewhere where no police is;
And Mary Christmas quickly knocked
Sal AIRY all TO pieces.
Washington Star.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02
THE WEATHER.
LOCAL FoREcAs,

For st. Paul, Minneapolis and vicinity
Fair weather; colder.
Pr. LYONS. Observer.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

When fear comes TO pretty girl,
Or terror may confound her.
Just for protectors sake, of course,
Why put your armor round her.
Philadelphia Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The sexton helped his worthy wife,
He peeled potatoes well;
He next peeled off his overcoat.
And then he pealed the bell.
Washington Post.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Complete files of the GLOBE always kept
Gu hand for reference. Patrons and frlends
are cordially invited to visit and avail them
selves of the facilities of our Eastern Office
while in New York
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

BY LEWIS BAKER.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

Eastern kGrerusing Office, Room a.
Tribune EuiIainq, Few York.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

a politician after election. because it is
always "broke. boston Traveller.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

1t is a peculiar fact that the black
sheep of the family almost invariably
leaves home and gets tleeced.-NeW
York Herald.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-02

The Judge Officer Grady, please ar.
rest Lawyer Cases attention.
Grady-Yes, sOr, av you'll please make
out tn warrant.-Spare Moments.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-06-30
a MINISTER'S WIFE LEAVES HIM.
Rupture of Marital Relations in Camp
Meeting Circles at Ocean Grove.

AsBURY PARK, n. j., June 90
Great excitement prevails in religious
circles at Ocean Grove over the scandal
connected with the marital relations Of
Rev. DR.. Aaron E. Ballard, Vice Presi-
dent of the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting
Association, and his wife. Little else
is talked of among the high officials OF
the town, who are greatly trou-
bled because of its unpleasant
features. They have made every
effort TO suppress it. Dissension has
been rife in DR.. Billiards. family for
many months, until at last his wife has
left his roof and threatens to sue for
support. DR.. Ballard and his wife have
been living with his son, Frank I. Bal
lard. on Broadway, Ocean Grove. Mrs.
Ballard says that her life there was
most unhappy, and she repeatedly ask
ed her husband to live separately from
the sons family, as he had promised to
do in the early days of their married
life. He refused to do so. At last,
growing desperate, she rented cottage
from her uncle, |. D. Mckee, and few
DAYS ago moved into it with her effects,
and also all those Of her husband.