The Opelousas courier., 1891-02-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY,

Licked for two cents-Apostage stamp.
Fancy work-Building castles in the
air.
Where there is no liquor-In prison
bars.
"He was a great boy. He was inrfor
everything" "He's in for FIVE years.
now."-Cbatter.
You can generally get a point on insect
life by making yourself familiar with the
bee.-Ieras SVtings.
There are a good many things that 90
without saying, but woman is not one Of
them.-St. Joseph Neps.
While we have SO many lakes In This
country, there is only one that is really
Superior.-Teras SiJatings.
In early days the schoolmaster
"boarded around himself, but he Shin
gled the beys.-Ieras Settings.
tMamma, let me hold the baby, win
you2" "No, dear; mother is afraid you
might let him fall on Fido."-LUs.
It is often impossible to distinguish ST.
lence from wisdom, because they are fire.
quently the same thing.-Dallas Mews.
Don't weep. for ~animalculse
Within oil moisture squirm;
Don't sigh, because your breathing may
Communicate a germ.
Toronto Empire.
It is an awful strain on a woman's pa
thence to have a husband who thinks he
knows how to cook.-TerTe Haute Ec-
press.
Nothing delights a small man so much
as to have a chance to call a great man
in public by his first name.-SomeTosle
Journal.
Time is the essence of all contracts,
except when you endeavor to contract
for a suit Of clothes on time.-Jpelers'
Circular.
Imprcssionable Charlie Ito elderly
beauty-'tWill you be minea" Elderly
Beauty-"No, Charlie, but Til be q
mother to you."-LPpincott's.
A sheriff seized a college for debt some
time ago, and an inventory ledto the dis
CUNSIY butt tAC do5CG5 COAoAoICa VA q AA0u-
class yell.-Bmghemton Leader.
Woman may be q trusting creature,
and all that, but she isn't apt to be de-
ceived into giving too much credit to
another woman.-Elmaa Gazette.
The man who knows everything labors
under misapprehension. He seems to
think that everybody wants to hear every
thing. He is wrong.-DaHas Neus.
The shortest day is generally believed
to be December 81; yet there are many
who say that the day before pay day is
the shortest day.-dweers' Circular.
Your faults to others you should never men
Your friends win give that duty due atten-
Philadelphia Times.
She (nervously)-.What do you think
of nv biscuits, dear2n He-sH'ml I
don't care exactly to give an of
hand opinion on weiShty subjects. -
BasGr.
Mrs. Peterby-ssDont you think it is
very remarkable that a wan should sing
before dying2n Judge Peterby-ssNot
80 much so as / would if they sang after
dying.n-Isras SJiftiags.
III don't believe in allowing domestics
to get the upper hand. I make my ser
want keep her placel" "You are lucky.
Ours never does for more than three
weeks. n-Ameyican Grocer.
Benevolent Person-ssI hope you treat
you horses well and give them plenty of
hay.n Driyer-aWell, I can't afford to
buy 'am much Of it, but I says sheyp to
them as often as I can."---Laght.
ssLeave the house, said the irate debt
o.. III couldn't hope to take the house
with me, with SO heavy q mortgage on
II, retorted the creditor-but he did
take it later on.-Munsey's Wesklg.
ssGood intentions are often thwarted
In the most mysterious ways" as the
Young man remarked when his best girl
sneezed Just as he was on the point Of
kissing her.-BMzaagton Free Press.
sBut, sir, to kiss
A miss
Is wrong, you see.n
II do not kiss
m ~ Vc H