davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
z ETERSBURG

z PETERSBURGA dono-
sza gazetom angielskim, De
wielki process przeciw nihill-
stom rozpocznie sic tam l2.go
pazdziernika roku biezacego:
obwinionych jest IS osob,
pomledzy mimi dwIe kobiety.
-Akt oskarzenia zarzuca OBJ.
wlnlonym nalezenle do splsku
ma zycie cara. Sledztwo JUL
jest ukonczone Process potrwa
okoia dwoch tygodnl. Pomie.
dry obwinioaymi znajduis sic
studeaci wszechnicy ora2
szkoiy weterynarsklej w Peter.
sburgu, oficerowle artyleryi,
lekarZ It'd.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
w STOEECZNEM NJ

w STOLECZNEM MIES.
Gle Brukseli zjechali sic So
cyallsci z caiego swlata ma
zebranie, ably radzlc. Miedzy
innymi sa tam take pred
stawlciele polskich socyalistow.
Nazwisk ich ME wymlenaja W
gazetach, z wyjatkien jednego.
Pc nazwisku zaraz poznat,
CO to 20 %prawdziwy Polak
nazywa sic = Mendelsohn !
jest oozYwlScle 2ydem, mo.
wiacym cd polsku. w dawaych
czasach mowiono, re Polak
me- mo&e sic oby6 bez lydia.
DIS tie czasy minely i kaa.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11

gle przestrzen,e kraiu W Ma
lei Azyi, wzdfuz llnij kolelo-
wych, "a cocznYm czynszym
dzieraawnvm SO millonow
frankow. Turcya by}aby
upraw,ona te rente skapitali-
zowac, CODY wyniosfo kwote
prz-szlo 100 mlolionow fran.
kow, i nogiaby uayc tego ka-
pltaiu ma uzbro]enla wo1sko,
ZAPiSUJCIE SOBIE WIARUSAl
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
Il KONSTANTYNOPOLA

d~onosZq, ae kraze tam poglo-
ski, he baron Hirsch t"aktuje
2 wjelklm wezyrem 0 osiedle.
ME 2yd6w rosylsNlcb W Tur
cyl. Iirsch chcc mn dug, c1as
wydaieraawlG wieIkie j roale.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
Bogato ilusrrowane czasopismo
humorystyczne
M|CUS

wychodzi we L wowle cd lat
siedmiu na.]regularniej diva razy
miesiecznie q. l 49, i odznacza
sic prawdziwym humorem i WV
bornymi ~ilustrac]ami, wykonanymi
przez naJznakomitszych artyst6w
polskich zagraniczuych. Kto sic
chce zabawlc, rozwesellc pou-
czyc MECH zaprenameruje s. mi
gusa", ktory zanieszcza move
dowclpy. weso1e wiersze, humore-
ski l satyry.
Ilustracye So take kolorowane
odblte W s}awnym zakfadzie ar
tystycznym
A. Przyszlaka we Lwowie.
Gala prasa polske uzna4a
IS m s s" jake sH~sajjlepsze pismo
humorystyczne polskie, redagowa.
ne W duchu prawdziwie polskim.
demokratYcznym, pod has}em,
.Rownost, wolnost i niepodle-
CLOSES.
DO ,,smigusa" jake bezp}atny
dodatek d~ofaczane bywaja utworv
%forteplanowe najulubiehszych kom-
pozytor6w.
Przep}ata ma Smigus" wynosi:
w Ann eryce: rocznie 8 dolarv,
p6}rocznie II dolara.
Prenumerate naidOuodn;o,
przesylac przekazem pocztowym
Tub delarami papierowymi W liscie
ACKNOWLEDGMENT pod adresem:
Administracya ,Sm,gusa" Lw6w
(Leopol) Europa, Austrya, Galicya.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11

ANGLIA zduslfa powstanle
W kraju ;%ndy]skim. zwanym
Mau,pur. Clown przywodzcy
powstania, kslazeta dawnIelsl,
zostali cze5cia skazanl ma
smiert, czescla ma w1eczne
wygadanie z ojczyzny. B'ednl
kslaaeta! Ia obrone ojczyzny
swei ponosza smierc i ida ma
wygnanie. jake bolesnen,
uczuclem to ola nlch bye
musl clerpiec niedole "a obro-
ne swo]e] ziemi, i Swoich bra,
CT, a vice "a sprawe W grun-
Gle rzeczy i prawa i szlachet-
ma! Jakze oni nlenawidzlc mu
sza cywillzacyl an5lelskle},
kt6ra i'm z kultura nlewole
przynosl! S1raszne So dzle]e
! podbitych ludlow!
PARYZ. z polecema Bis
6upa wersalskiego wyjechaf II
I'm. proboszcz 2 Argenteull
wraz z trzema innymi kapia-
mi do Tre~lru, W celu po-
rownania przechowanej W
Argenteuil Suknl onna Jezusa
z relikwia t~rewirska. W tYm
celu zebrano z SODA Geese re
likwii z Argenteull. Obie szaty
NIGGA bye zreszta prawdzlwe.
Albowiem Zbawiclel swlata
nosli trojakle odzlenie:: pc
pierwsze, suknla ME szyta z
wefny wielbfadzlej, ktora, z
wleklem ma MIN rosia; pc
drugie, obszerua saata: ktora
nosii pa tel tuulre, czyl4, De
tax powiemy, IA koszuli, i pc
trzecie obszerny, otwarty
pfaszcz. Ia suknia, ktora
jest W ArgenteuiI, to zapew-
ne jest roblona Z weiny wei
bfadziei, tel, kt6ra jest W Ire
wirze, piepodna dobrze ozna.
czy6 czego jest. JUL lSgc
I'm. Biskup trewirskl wspo'
mnianych ksiezy f:ancusklcl
przypuscii do ogfadanls
swletej Sukni i do porowny-
wanna z przechowana W Ar
genteuil. Ma niedziele 23go I'm
zgfosilo przybycie swe d.
Trewiru IS tYslecy 400 peel
grzym6w.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11

dy z mas do soble rade bez
aydow. Mech vice sobie socya-
listyczni zydzl ME podszywa]a
sic pod polska sk6re, lecz
mech powiedza, be So SWAMI
IZraela.
ANGLICY przechwala] a sic
teraz pc gazetach. Re ME ma
to, ]ak ich polltyka. Me Ia
cza sic oni AMI z trolprzymle-
rem, AMI z innemi panstwa-
m, sclsle, to jest tax, 5eby
istotne przymlerze z kim zaw-
rzeG mleli, ale z wszystkieml
utrzymuja przylazn l iak ser,
decznle %przyjmowall niedawno
cesarza nlemlecklego W Lon
dynie, a poanlei kr6lewlcza
wioskiego, talk serdecznle tez
przyjmuia teraz okrety fran.
cuskie, ktore W powrocle %
Moskall do Anglii zawinefy'
z tych STOW widac, ze Anglicy
wszystklm basuia, ktorych po-
trzebula. Niektore gazety NE
mlecKie gniewaja sic o to IA
Mich.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
co H
W CHlNACH przesladowa-

w Oh OllAO.
W CHlNACH przesladowa-
nie misyonarzy ME usta]e, a
Rad chlhskl, choc mu ma do
brej wolf ME zbywa, okazu]e
sic W obec tego zurefnie bez.
radnym. W Tanyang l czerw-
ca RIB. napadta t1uszcza Chin
czyk6w ma misya 90. Jezui-
tow. PrzybYf I'M W ponce
kapitan z oddzlatem zolnie-
rzY i pierwszy atak odpar}.
Ksiexom radzl', by sic
schronili do gmachu rzado'
wego. Jakoz w kilka godzln
potem znowu tiumy sic ruszy.
ty j ia raza podpalily kosciot,
klasztorek, i szkoie chlopcow.
Domu sierot katollcklch ME
tkne!i, poniewa& sasiadowaf Z
domami chlnskimi. Pred pod.
1ozenlem ognla zrabowali
klasztoru i koscloia wszystko,
co sic da1o.
w miescle Wustek dnia
Sgo czerwca spaliii sChlnczycy
kosclo}, klasztorek, szkoie j
dom sierot. Spalony
kosciof nalezaf do najwlek-
szych kosciotow W cafych Chi
mach. W tamtym oowodzie
znajduje sic 10 tysiecy Chin
czykow iua cd uiemowlectwa
ochrzconycE. Znajmuje sic
mimi = Jezuitow.
Chlhczycy, gdzie zdybia
ksiezY msyonarzy, tam lch
katuja j morduja. Ksiedza
Argenta, Francuza, pochwyci-
la tiuszcza i pretaml ma smierc
zaslekla. Poblegf mu ma ra-
tunek urzednik celny, Angl'k
Green; Chlhczycy z wsciekfos-
CT, 2e Anglik small W Chinach
m,syonarza broniG, dosiowme
2elazaml ma sztuki go roz-
drapali.
Gdziekolwiek Chinczycy
znajda cmentarz katolicki, tam
iak hyenY wykopuja clafa z
grobow l ustawiala z Mich sto-
sy IA polach.
W Yanglio dnia 24go czerw
ca s~pladrowano kIasztor mi
syonarzy i podpalono. W Fut.
czeon spladrowano i spalono
4 kaplice i szkotki. W Hal
men zburzono katoiickl dom
slerot . sierot uprowadzo.
no.
DONOSIHY niedawno ga
zety, lie ma krola dunsklegc
Chrystyana TX zrobiono "a
mach. Sprawl ia mlafa sic
tax:
Krol, ktory bawl obecnie W
letniem SVEN mleszkaniu ma
zamku Bernsdorf, wyjecha1
konno bez towarzystwa W
okolice. W poblizklm leslie
spotkaf powoz z kilkoma milo.
dYmi ludzmi W stanie podnle-
conym bardzo wesofym,
ktorym ME podobaf sic sa.
motny podr6zny; kazali vice
r6wnie pijanemu, Jak ON
woznicy najechaG ma spo
konie jAdacego krola. Woznl
ca ME dali sobie rozkazu DIV,
razY %powtarzac i sklerowa
konie ma jezdzca, ably g
zepchnac do rowu. Zrecznyu
obrotem uszedf krol prze,
grozacem misrepresentation
choclaz koh otarf sic o kofc
Pc powrocie nikomu kr6l nj
]opowledziaf swe) przygody
wszelako szybko stafa sic on
publiczna, a policya wYtropii
wesola kompanle.
WldzlmY vice, 2e cafe t
za]scie byfo tylko przvpat
kowe i ME ma w,ekszego p,
hIIaHnoro 0paooopSo
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
MA KOLEJI
Chicago, Milwaukee
/ st. Paul


teraz panuie ruch na5tepujacy:
Wagony salonowe do Chicago.
10 godzln do Chicago.
Peciagi oswietlone swiatfem
dziennem do Chicago.
Mocne pociagl spacerowe do
Chicago.
Pociagl swiat}en elektrycz
mem oswietlone do Chicago.
El~ektryczne lampy do czyta-
MA W syplalniach.
Najwspanialsze pociqgl jadal-
ne ma swiecie,
Sypialnies pa}acowe.
Na1k16tsza i naiszybsza LIMA,
Najlepsza droga do Colorado
do Kansas, do Kalifornil-do
Portland, do Tacoma, do Helena
do wszystkich punkt6w ma "a
chodzle i pd}nocnym zachodzle.
Najprz6d za}atwlone wszyst
kle u%lepszenia ola pasazer6w ia.
dacych ma Wsch6d i Poiudnie cd
Chicago, ma P6lnoc i Wsch6d cd
st. Paul, tudziez ma Zachod cd
miast Omahaei Kansas.
ID. Il. COnIey.
Miejski agent ola tykletow,
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11
V!El (! ZA?AS
Nowych Ksiazek

NoWych q
prowadzi}a codopiero z Europy
ksiegarnia H ieronim D 81
d owsk1ego W Winonie, q
mianowicie.
/. Gle h a E hrze.
II k a, ksiqzka do
nabozenstwa ola katolikow
" %slicznej zfoconej l wy
~tlaczanei ok4adce oraz re
z}oconym brzegiem 1.25
Q. B 6 9 a a.
sza, ksiazka do nabozen.
silva, W takiej samej kosz.
townej oprawle 1.25
8. B adj w ola T o.
a., modlitwy l rozmysla-
MIA ma wszystdie uroczy-
stoSci koscielne l ma wszel-
kie okollcznosci zycia, W
droglej oprawle 1.2l
4 K siazka d b o.
wa Dunina Wv
najwspanialszej oprawie,
bez okucla) 200
S. Aniof saf6 Z, opraw.
ny W sk6re s5cent.
6. H istorsa Biblij-
ma ola dzispi, uzywana W
szko}ach po}skich W Cali.
cyl, polecor,a przez rs.
hardynafa Dunajewskieg 6On.
PkACClE "a WIARUSM
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1891-09-11

Najodpowiednle5szy tam SA.
LON OLA ROBOTNIKOW O.
raY NAJRZETELNIEJSZA
GROCERNIA. a
Bracia Grlesel re
wszystkich salonistow w Wi.
monte PIWA
PRZEDAJA.
Najlepsza k e i h e r.
b t e maja i wszelkie inne
towarY grocerne W najlepszym
gatunku %utrzymuja. Miejcie "
askawej pamieci 6rme:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
The Silent Club.

a queer club was once established in
London, under the title of the Silent
Club. The members were bound to cx-
press themselves at all club meetings, as
far as possible, without words. The
first rule of the club was: "rhe mem.
beers of this Academy shall think much,
write little, and be MS mute as they can. u
On one occasion new candidate ap-
piled for admission. But the members
were limited and all vacancies filled. A
meeting was called, the candidate was to
be introduced, and the President was to
announce his decision. When the gen.
tleman entered, the members, who were
all his friends, were as much disap-
pointed as he that he was to be refused.
AS he approached the President rose,
and silently handed him a cup of water,
SO full that n single drop would have
made it overflow.
The applicant perfectly understood
what the President meant, but he was
courageous and quick witted. Without
speaking he took from his button hole a
single rose and laid it gently on top of
the water. Hc laid it on so softly that
not drop was displaced. and handed it
back to the President with bow.
With one consent the members ap-
plauded. They resolved to put their rule
aside, and to admit the man who showed
them that he could ornament their So
ciety without hurting it.
Then the man thanked them in an
equally curious way. When the register
was handed him to be signed he wrote
below his name the number of the club
members-100. He added before it an
O.. making it O1OO. Underneath he
wrote, "Their value will be the same"
The manwas so modest that the Presi-
dent complimented him Immediately by
rubbing out the D and substituting the
figure L. This made the number HOO.
Underneath he wrote, "Their value will
be increased eleven times"
These ingenious people must have de-
voted great deal of time and thought
to avoid using their tongues.-Aarper's
Young People.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
A s,ree. Gar rp,,o.,o.


You know where to leave me-s said
. lady on Third street car the other
day as the conductor took her fare.
"Yes'm; Columbia stroet is vonr
street, believe" he replied.
The lady retired into a brown studv
and one OF those men who knows IL ali
and mover gets left, and isn't anybody's
1901. took up the attention OF the con-
duotor with long yarn about how
street cara should be run and what
rapid transit would do :or tho people,
and when the conductor thought of that
woman again he was just crossing Willis
svenue.
She'll have me discharged if I toll
her, he said to himself, aud cold drops
Of terror stood out on his manly brow.
Once the passenger did look out OF
the car window, but seeing an un-
familiar part Of the city concluded she
was still on route TO Columbia street.
The car went to the end OF the limo
and returned on its way down town
again.
"C.o-l-u-m-b-i-a-In called tho con.
ductor bravely, and the lady gathered
up her traps and stepped out on tho
platform.
Good gracious. conductor" she be.
Hurry up. madam" urged tho con.
duotor, and after assisting hor of, ha
hastily rang the bell and tho car started
again.
And the astonished woman was heard
to remark: mo wonder tho oars 80
allow; they travel backwards. free
Press,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
The Russians Are Natural Fighters

SIT may bc worth while, now that
there is SD much talk about Russia's
preparations for war;" said the Army of
ficer, "to recall the fact that Russians are
natural fighters. Do you recall the war
stories which appeared awhile ago in one
of our magazines Here the discipline of
the Cars army and the love for fighting
were shown in most convincing ways. In
the paper on the Russian Army the story
was retold OF an order given to Russinn
regiments to take some hills then in the
possession of the enemy. The regiments
started, with rush, and thrice the order
for retreat WIS given. But by some mis-
understanding one regiment failed to re-
ceive the orders. When it was learned
that this regiment was missing the whole
Russian army received orders to advance
and to take the heights. The army went
up the hill, was driven back and went up
again. 1t went up time after time and
was thrown bach into the plain below.
If fought all night. trying to take the
heights. When the sun rose the next
morning it was discovered that the
one missing regiment had taken the
'S>'t .A.NhOs 40 OHh NhlllI va LllC OuC
sldciand the enemy on the other. That's
the Russian idea of fighting"
"rhis same war article" the speaker
added, "tells of another night attack.
The enemy fell upon the Cars troops
when they were making forced march
at night. There were in confusion, but
they stood still and allowed themselves
to be shot down until they could form.
And how do you suppose this was done2
The first man of the first company fired
and his company formed, each man find
ing his position by the flash of the pre-
ceding mans rifle. The first company
once in line, the second formed in the
same way, and so the whole army by the
flash of gunpowder in the blackness of
night found its position. When daylight
came the whole army was seen to be
stretched across the plain in line as true
as if drawn with rule. The Russian is
a natural soldier and the discipline which
ne undergoes makes him superb fight
r."-Ne,o Yorl; Tribune.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
"a SENATOR'S CHEEKY coNsr1ruENr.

SENATOR CHEEKY CONSTITUENT.
For some time Senator Cokc's life nj
Washington was made bitter MS quinine
by the visit of shiftless constituent
who was in search of q fat berth under
Uncle Sam. During the Senator's alb.
sence from his rooms in his boarding
house his devoted friend would proceed
to make himself ut home with brotherly
familiarity, using up the Senator's paper
and envelopes and smoking his fine old
Mexican tobacco. One day Coke, on his
return from the capitol, found his BE-.
loved friend in lortly possession of his
quarters, when the following convcrsa.
ton cnsucd:
you'll excuse me, my friend" oh.
served Coke, "but left this room
locked when 1 went off this morning,
and I'm curious to know how you hap.
pcned to get in here"
"Simplest thing in the world" replied
his genial guest. ''Rang the bell, told
the girl 1 was your particular friend and
asked her to open your room"
"Well, continued the big Senator in n
massive tone OF voice, "that's an unusual
and unparliamcntary proceeding. Will
you please go down stairs, ring the bell
and send your card up in the regular
way. 1 like to have these little points
Of etiquette observed"
"Well, he did it," Coke would tell in
his solemn, descriptive style, land then
sent down word that 1 wasn't in. ~
Ncw York Mercury.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
How the snngir Malays Keep Time

The people of Sangir, an island of the
Malay Archipelago, keep time by the aid
of an hour glass formed by arranging
two bottles neck to neck The sand runs
out in half an hour, when the bottles are
reversed. Close by them line is
stretched, on which hang twelve sticks
marked with notches from one to twelve,
with hooked stick. which is placed be-
tween the hour last struck and the next
one. One of these glasses keeps the time
for each village, for which purpose the
hours are sounded OH gong by a keeper.
--IhiladelpAiQ Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
Not Hospitable TO Two Dollar Bills

The number of two dollar bills in nc
tive circulation in New York is astonish.
ishing. Since the publication of the
alleged extensive counterfeiting of the
two dollar silver certificates the entire
issue, genuine and bogus, seems to be
kept on tho move.
The two dollar notes fairly rain upon
every tradesman, who passes them as
quickly as possible. The next mar does
the same. Nobody refuses, nobody dis
putes them; but all the same everybody
lets go of them at the first opportunity.
II the same uneasiness prevails elsewhere
the problem of the two dollar notes will
have solved itself. They will be worn
out in six months.-Meio York Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
CHANGE on PROGRAMME.

Wife-"The Gossip Sewing Society
meets this afternoon, aud I'll run over
for couple of hours, if you think you
can keep the baby quiet"
Smart Husband (who wouldn't hurt u
fy)-"Oh, I'll do it. I'll keep him
quiet, if have to choke him."
Wife-"On second thoughts, 1 don't
believe feel like sewing this afternoon,
Let's go to the park. NsU York
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
Kissed His FALLEN RnY.

General Wade Hampton is one of the
most interesting survivors of the war.
He lost his leg after, and not in the war,
but he suffered greater misfortune in
the death of his son, who was shot down
before his eyes during cavalry Skin
mish. The brilliant cavalry leader dashed
up to the fallen body of the boy, raised
1T, and kissed the youths face-and then
rode on into the tight.-New York Sun.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
CURIOUS FACTS.

IS.
Illinois has frog farms. 4
Buttons are made from potatoes.
The true Bengal tiger is dying out.
Hotel walters arc great readers OF
character.
The largest city in the world in area is
Rio do Janeiro, Brazil, which covers $40
square miles.
There is a difference of only twenty
two square miles between the areas of
England and Iowa.
A mirror brought to this country in
1776 stands in the window of Chester
Penn.) furniture store.
A York (Pcnn.) woman, ninety seven
years of age, says that she never took a
drop of medicine in her life.
The coast line of Alaska exceeds in
length by 1920 miles that of oil the re-
mainder of tho United States.
At the present day sacred pigs roam
inviolate about the Buddhist monasteries
of Canton and elsewhere in China.
A subscription book publisher says
that of the different histories of the
Johnstown disaster moro than million
copies were sold.
A resident of Jasper, Ga. killed. hawk
few days ago of great size. 1t meas
ured five feet and seven inches from tip
to tip of its wings.
An Irish judge was presented with
white gloves the other day, to mark the
ontire absence of criminal cases from the
calendar in his riding.
A few years ago the ercal Selkirk gla-
cier in British Columbia was pure water.
Now it is grimy from ashes scattered by
the wanton burning of forest trees.
What island was discovered by Col
umbus on his first American voyage is
still unknown. The popular idea that
Cat Island was the one was exploded
long ago.
A number of years ago lot of swine
were turned loose from q rauch ut Lerdo,
in Lower California, and they have in
creased so enormously that herds of 5000
aro not uncommonly seen on the plains
An old Spanish captain named Luca
Ncgrciras Perez, who is ninety years o
age. returned to SPAN recently in hi,
own ship, the crew and passengers o
which consisted of his own family, mum
boring no fewer than 270 persons.
Unlike most other marine animals, tn,
lobster is not truly migratory in its hab
its. II remains on about the same
ground, it is believed, from year to year
coming into shallower watcr in spring
and returning into the less accessible
depths in autumn.
1t il. not every boy TINT can make
bicycle for himself. Yet that is what
sixteen-ycar- colored lad of Gcorgia
blacksmith's apprentice, has done. II
made the bicycle out of raw materia
picked up in the shop, and it rides n
smoothly MS factory-made machine.
Old Kentucky hunters, it is said, die
not shoot bullets into squirrels, but, n
the phrase was, barked them. TIL
shot went between the chins of the small
animals and the limbs on which the,
stood, and sent the game to the grount
in series of somersaults, with the breatl
knocked out of them, without spelling
their skins and flesh. They nevc
manglcd their game.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
AN UNPLEASANT SUBJECT.

Mrs. Brickrow-'I met Mr. Intrade
yesterday, and was Disguised at the way
he talked"
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures You do
not associate with such people, do you;
They always talk shop"
Miss Brickrow-"Ycs. AS I was say.
ing, was Disguised at his talk. The
idea of his saying you'd been owing him
money for five years aud he never OK,
pccted to get cent of it. Good Ne,cs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
AN ERROR OF POETIC JUDGMENT.

'I'm abuddlng poet" chirruped the
fresh young fellow to the man at the
desk =
"Oh, no, you are not, said the horse
editor, for it was he, "you are bloom
ing idiot. Tooley loodle. So long Come
again, please. 2 Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
To DispcI Colds,

Headaches and Fevcrs, TO cleanse tho nystom
eifectuniiy, yet gently. when costivo or bilious,
or when tho blood is impure or sluggish. to
permanently euro habitual constipation, to
awaken tho kidneys ard liver to n healthy no.
uvity' without irritating or weakening thom,
use Syrup OF Figs
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17
AN AccoMMopATrNG pa.

Mr.. Slimpurse-"Wha- what did your
Pc say when you told him we were en-
gagged to be married."
''Miss Beauty-"He was real kind.
He said if you would call for him to-
morrow, with carriage-I think no
said your carriage-he would go with
you to look at any brownstone fronts you
think of buying for me to live in."-
New York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17

Tommy was gettin' licked, SO 1 just
sailed in an pasted Billy one in the jaw.
an when got through with HIM, he
didn't feel much like stoppin'an have it
out with Tommy. ~ Pack.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-07-17

What is lacking is truth
and confidence.
II there were absolute truth
on the one hand and absolute
confidence on the other, it
wouldn't be necessary for the
makers Of DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy to back up a plain
statement of fact by a $500
guarantee.
They say" If we can't
cure y0m make it personal,
please) Of catarrh in the head,
in any form or stage, we'll pay
you $500 for your trouble in
making the trial"
"An advertising fake" you
say.
Funny, isn't it, how some
people prefer sickness to
health when the remedy is
positive and the guarantee
absolute.
Wise men don't put money
back of (" fakes"
And F" taking" doesn't pay.
Magical little granules
those tiny, sugar-coated Pei
lets of DR.. Pierce scarcely
larger than mustard seeds,
yet powerful to cure active
yet mild in operation. The
best Liver Pill ever invented.
Cure sick headache, dizziness,
constipation. One a dose.