The record-union., 1891-04-29
PHoNoGRAPHs QUEER USES.
Some Stories Which Show that the
Wonder is Rapidly Growing.

Wonder is Rapidly Growing.
The phonograph seems likely soon to
reach its heyday of prosperity. New
fields are opening up day by day before
the misunderstanding little instru-
.ment, whose eavesdropping propenSities
are proyerbial. At Newark, a day or two
ago, a very funny story came to light.
Mary Dusen keeps boarding house, and
one of her guests, Edward Emands, owns
phonograph. Edward had Il vague idea
that all was not well with the hash Mary
was wont to serve at breakfast five or six
times week. One day he placed his
phonOgraph just within range OF the
kitchen, and the instrument recorded,
and faithfully, too, the directions Mary
gave the cook for cOmpourding hash.
The next day he entertained the boarders
and Mortified Mrs. Dusen by placing the
hash recipe cylinder on the phonograph
and having it ecitethe directions given the
cook by Mary. 1t was alleged that this
trick hurt Mrs. Dusens business, and
she entered suit against Emands before
Justice Beauvelt, who, upon hearing the
evidence, including the hash recipe, de-
cided that the phonograph coald not lie,
and dismissed the case.
General George Pearson, Ex-Governor
Beavers Private Secretary, is another
victim Of the phonograph. While at Har-
risburg he made frequent use Of the in
strument, and often entertained his
friends with cornct solos. SOuSa marche as
and operate airs. One day relative OF
the same cOgnOmen visited the Gov
ernOr's office with his best girl. The Sec
retary was out, and the young man who
understood it, started the phonograph for
the young lady's editication. Securing q
a new cylinder, he told the maid TO talk
into the tube. She did so, somewhat in
this vein: Il love you George George
Iii nj -
the smack. will you always be con-
slant and true?'' isped the maid, and
another kiss went on record.
That evening Secretary Pearson took
his wife and Il party of friends to his
office. They listened TO Levy play the
cornet, Gilmore's Band and heard Dr.
Talmage tell of his trip abroad. Then
the luckless Secretary placed the cylinder
used by the lovers on the instrument,
''to see what it was,' and heard. So did
Mrs. Pearson and her friends. 1t took
Mr.. Pearson q week of Sundays to eX-
plain the matter to his wife's satisfaction.
He has never used phonograph since.
The owner of Il cylinder which repro
duces Home, Sweet Home" as sung by
Patti, tells an interesting story of how it
was obtained. The diva positively re-
fused to sing for record" so it was de-
cided to steal il. \ box was secured at a
San Francisco theater. The phOnograph
was placed therein in such a manner as
to entirely conceal it from view. When
the sweet singer responded to the encore
the instrument was started. She sang
Home, Sweet Home" as only Patti
can, and the posSeSsor OF the cylinder
swearS that the instrument reproduceS
the thud OF the auditors tears as they fell
to the floor, and the phonograph cannot
lie.
Several musicians Of this city teach
music by means of the phonograph
Frank Thomson of the PENNSYLVANIA
Railroad entertains his guests at his coun-
try residence with the sweet music of
Strauss, the blare Of Gilmore's trumpets,
Chauncey DeDew'S newest yarns and airs
from the latest operas.
y. BonZanO of the Phoenix Bridge
Company frequently gives parties at his
residence, the company dancing 10 selec-
tions played by the Marine Band per Il
phonograph.
Oliver II. Blair records all the direc-
tions for big funerals in this manner,
and grinds them ont to each employe
before each meal. Of course he does not
do this TO spoil their appetites. One gen
tleman of high standing says grace at
dinner by phonog.aph, and has music all
the while.
Bob Ingersoll has just written paper
on the telephone and phOnograph. in
which he says: Il most sincerely wish
that there had been phonograph in the
Garden of Eden. How convincing it
would be if ave could now hear the
dialogue between Jehovah, Adam, Eve
and the serpent. Probably if we could
hear that serpent's voice we would no
longer wonder that Eve was led away
If Balaam had been in possession OF one
of these ingenious instruments, the words
and voices of the angels and of the
patient animal could have been used by
missionaries in every land. It's hard to
over-estimate what the phonograph and
telephone may do. Let us hope that, in
few years, we can say: Hello, central
give me New Jerusalem. Ihii0deI-
DhiO Record.