Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1891-10-22

''Well!
"It might shrink while I am in the
water, and then / would get arrested
on coming out.-Philadelphia Press.
The Final Answer.
eff that is your final answer, Miss
Robinson" the young man said with
ill-concealed chagrin, as he picked up
his hat and turned to go, ri can do
nothing but submit. Yet, has it new
er occurred to you that when lady
passes the age OF 81 she is not likely
to find herself as much sought after
by desirable young men as she once
WASP"
"It occurred to me with sudden and
painful distinctness when you offered
yourself Just now," she replied, "Good
night, Mr.. Jones!"- York Weekly.
Her Preference.
II wish Twas a STAR" he said, smil-
ing at his own poetic fancy.
IT would rather you were a comet"
she said, dreamily. Be-.
His heart beat unanimously.
"And why?" he asked, tenderly, at
the same time taking her unresisting
little hands in his own. "And why?"
he repeated, imperiously.
COIL" she said with a brooding
earnestness that fell freezingly upon
his soul, "because then you would
come round only once every fifteen
hundred years."
Left Out in the Cold.
Teacher: GLOW IS it you are SO
late, Muller?"
Muller: "our clock keeps bad
time"
T: "And you, Meier?"
Meier: II couldn't find my books"
T: "And you, Lehmann?"
Lehman: "My nose began to
bleed"
T: "And you, SCHUYLER"
Schulze bursts into tears.
T: "Well, what are you crying for?"
Schulze: "Please, sir, the others
have gone and told everything, and I
don't know any more" -Weiner Luft.
Got His Vacation.
Mr.. Bullion-By the way, Mr.. Book
keep, you asked for va
Mr.. Bookkeep-Oh, Mr.. Bullion, I
did not think really you would allow
me a vacation during this busy sea-
son.
"-cation, Well you may take of
two -"
"Thank you, Mr.. Bullion"
"Weeks, and then stay away alto
gether. The jewelers. Circular.
A Change in the Time.
Darkley, the convict, cycling the
package-Pve been tryln' to live a
better life an quit bein a tough sence
you was here last, mister.
Member of the Prison-Reform Asso.
ciation-I'm very glad, Peter. Here's
a little remembrance for you.
Darkley, opening the package--Git
out O. here, you low-down, sniveling,
putty-faced, Ragged kneed son-of-ar
gun! I thought them was cigars
Judge.
>SON
She (falteringly): "The-there's one
thing I m-must tell you before we get
married, Cha-Charlie. My fa-father
has been in prls-prisonn'
He la journalist, and ravenous for
"copy"): "I'm delighted to hear it,
darling! If I can only get him to relate
his experiences to me it'll go a long
way towards buying a suite of furni-
ture for our housen
A Question Of Color,
Mrs. Snagggs newspaper in HANDY
Here's piece of news headed, "a Col
ored Horse Thief strung Up"
Snaggs-"Well! What of it?"
Mrs. snagggs-I was merely wonder
ing if they would have let him off if it
had been q white horse.
Chronicle.
Standard of Measurement.
A: GLOW is our old friend Emil oet-
ting on?"
B: Every badly; the poorfellow has
lot to put up with; besides, he has
gone SO thin! I am pretty lean myself,
and you are not exactly stout, but
Emil is thinner than both of us nut
together" -Humoristische Blatter.
Couldn't Stand 1t.
Reuben Verde (of oshkosh)-- Great
Scott! What's that big noise?
Regular Guest-That? It's onlv the
gun that always goes off at sun
set.
Reuben Verde, decidedly-rm eoin,
straight home whar the sun kin set
easy. without making such a racket.
Pittsburg Bulletin.
Very Greedy.
Office Boy: please, sir, can't / 20
to dinner now? It's an hour past INV
time, and Pm awfully hungry!''
Employer: "Hungry2 Well, i won.
der if anyb ody ever saw such q greedy
II, ~ SOS4y