The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-02-28
HE CAN SHAVE HIMSELF.
But Ills Experiences In Learning How
Wore Rather IRVING.

We're Rather Trying.
81 have learned to shave myself quite
satisfactorily" said young broker
down town the other day. He had just
finished an excellent luucheon. He
rubbed his smooth-shaven chin and
seemed TO feel triumphant. 81 am quite
proud of the achievement, too. 1t is
true that it took me about seven years
to master the art, and it is also true
that during that time / spilled good
deal of blood. l not only cut my face
with regularity, but slashed myself in
the back of the neck several times. /
made painful gashes in the ends of my
fingers, and recall that on one occa-
sion, by mysterious combination of
unfortunate circumstances, l took
slice from my left ankle.
''To questions by my office associates
rs to how received so many wounds
merely replied that was learning to
shave and paid no attention to their
gibes. They finally let me alone except
on the rare occasions when appeared
unscathed, and then they inquired if |
was feeling real well. My mother and
sisters were seriously alarmed for my
personal appearance. But persevered,
the cuts healed up, and now 1 may say
that am about as nearly perfect as l
could wish to be in the use of a razor.
"My motive in learning to shave"
continued the broker, "sprang from a
longing for release from the tyranny of
BARRIERS. Five or six times week l
was BARRIERS helpless slave. They
thumped me and scraped me, and, above
all, they talked to me. l determined to
become my own barber. ! was also
actuated by the consideration of ex-
pense. 1 figured that BARRIERS cost me
about St00 year in money. This, / re-
flected, would purchase many little
articles. 1t would help pay my cigar
bill, and it would pay for two, perhaps
three, comfortable suppers.
Somewhat to my surprise, when
announced my determination to my
barber, he offered no objection. l had
postponed telling him several times,
fearing his high displeasure. But he ex-
hibited none. L dimly recall now that,
as he turned away to get some lather,
an expression of sorrow, evidently due
TONER passed over his face. But it was
gone when he looked at me again, and
he proceeded then and there to get as
much money out of me as he could
while he had me. / meellly allowed
him to inflict upon me all of the opera
tions in the knowledge of barber, and
L bought from him personally two ra-
zors. He said that they were his best
and declared that he would have parted
with them to no other man in the world.
He handed them to me when the boss
was looking out of the window. The
boss, he said, would discharge him if
he heard of the sale He charged me for
them eight times the amount they were
worth, though he convinced me that
was obtaining something that money
alone could not buy. The balance of
my outfit | bought from the proprietor
of the shop, also at ruinous prices
81 thought I was free, then. 4 will
remember this, l said to myself as |
went home, 'as my emancipation day.
thought would never again enter a
barber's shop except to have my hair
trimmed That would only be at long
intervals. Premature badness is pecu-
liar to our family, and my bald spot was
already well developed. l bought a
diminutive safe, into which intended
to drop twenty-five cents every time l
; shaved
MY beard resisted my early efforts
tenaciously. After few weeks l con-
cluded that my razors were becoming
! dull. | gave them to razor sharpener
H. I
, that he might possibly put an edge on
them but that they were of inferior
quality and practically worthless. He
sold me pair at good prices which he
said were two of the best razors he had
ever seen, and he had seen good many.
, He wanted tollnow what sort of strop
l used, and when | described mine he
declared it to be no good at all. |
bought one from him, which he swore
, would put an edge on a cobblestone
He also sold me a patent lather brush
which afterwards became bald good
deal faster than L did. My beard con.
tinued obdurate. My complexion was
on the high road to ruin. blamed the
razors My egotism kept from me the
knowledge that the trouble was due to
| HIN pcIlCllCC anu dNhWuTullcSS. l
y. had cut my strops in my fits of anger at
cutting my face, so that they could not
be used
II concluded to allow my beard ia
:, grow until my face healed and took all
of my razors-they numbered about d
dozen by that time-to barber, q
stranger. After preface, in which he
: made the entirely irrelevant statemen,
! that he had once shaved the Emperor OF
Germany, he delivered long lecture ir
:, broken German on the care of razors
: which | did not understand ut all. But
he sold me two more raZors at what he
;. called sacrifice, regulation barber.
strop for S2 which he said would cos
Q anybody else 81, and bottle of eXpen
sive toilet water which would cure my
-, face in six minutes. He proposed t.
Q teach me to use the strop for $50 tc
= anybody else-and that evening ! SNUG
: gled him into my rooms and took les
Q sons.
"The benefit of this trying experience
: began to come to me about three
/. months ago. l suddenly and without
. apparent reason attained eXpertness
J; Now am happy. The financial par
did not turn out quite as l expected
My equipment was very expensive"
!, Glow about the fund you were tc
- start?" he was asked.
| l., IL