Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-03-03
ms BLOOD PURIFIER.
But the Human Race Didn't Want to Be
Purified Too Much.

But the Human Race Didn't Want to he
| Purified Too Much.
A dilapidated looking old man, who
was chewing sassafras root with great
energy, suddenly appeared in the wait
ing room of the Erie depot across the
river, and as he approached man who
| was waiting for western rain he pulled
a bottle of liquid from an old sachel in
! his hand and said:
MY friend. you are looking yaller
about the eyes. which is sure sign that
/ your blood is in bad state. One bottle
of my blood purifier will restore you to
health and igor"
Don't want it, SIR was the curt
reply.
! "All right, mister, all right. IL a
feller wants to keep on looking yaller
about the eyes when a pannycea is at
! hand that's his own business. Long
bout the middle of April you'll be on
your back with spell of bilious fever,
but you needn't lay it up agin me-"
The next person approached was a Sc
we're looking woman about thirty-fve
years of age, who was probably an old
maid.
Them yaller streaks at the corner of
your mouth denote a torpid liver.
ma'am," said the man as he gave the
bottle a shake. .'Suthin' right here to
improve your looks so per cent. in two
weeks"
SIR she demanded, in icy tones.
only fifty cents bottle. ma am, and
made right in my own house, from herbs
Cra+h
Just opened the spring campaign, and
the price is only fifty cents bottle"
"Goaway, sir" she commanded loudly.
Don't want any, eh:'
mo, sir"
"All right, madam-all right Torpid
liver may be good thing to have about
the house. but | don't think so. Here's
your pannycea, and if you don't want it
can't compel you to buy it"
The third person was man with a
marked redness of nose and rough spots
on his face. He was busy With news
paper when the old man apr ,hed and
said:
lone bottle viii cure that nose. or
money refunded"
What! What's that" demanded the
man.
And the second bottle su3 a. -
every rough spot to disappear. ~.nit
would be safer for Won to take third.
Three bottles for $l.25, or fifty cents for
single bottle. | war
Look here, you old reprobate! What
are You driving att" exclaimed the Ia
tent as he stood up.
Il am selling blood purifier, made of
roots and herbs. Its little early, per
haps, but l want to get the start of the
buckwheat scratches. Are you drink !
ing man
DO You mean to insult me to nv face. !
sir? Why, I'll punch your head for a !
cent?
1T wouldn't do no good. mister. !
Here's the only genuine blood purifier
In market, and last year | sold 1000 !
bottles of 1t. lnvigorates the liver, tones !
up the blood, and if l can't cure that \
nose of yours don't want a cent"
In purify you, you old assassin |
shouted the man, and he was peeling off |
his overcoat to do it when the depot DO
hceman came up and told the old man |
he must go out
AND not sell bottle of my blood !
purifier in this crowd he asked.
Come, out YOU co.
"And You don't want bottle for Your
self: You've got a jandice look. and this
ere stuff viii knock the jandice into a
cooked hat in just five doses
He was led out. and told not to re-en-
ter the depot: but he stood AT the door
and SAID to the policeman through the
glass window:
''All right, officer. all right. If the
people don't want my blood purifier they
needn't have it. It's the season to purify,
but l never 90 agin the law, and if there's
rampage of bilious fever next spring
don't say wasn't around with my pan
nycea at regular price. New York Sun.