The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-04-09
MISCELLANEOUS.

V"SSS@@kASN@OS~
Miss Frostiq ne (yawning.) ''Do
you like cream in your coffee. Mr.. Stay.
late?" Mr.. Staylate-''Yes; but why
such question:" Miss Frostique-'O,
it's of no consequences; only we have to
tell the milkman when we want it,
Harper's Bazaar.
II Think" said Gertrude to Algeron,
that you and pa will become better &C
quainted in time" EYES," was the re.
ply, II noticed last night that your
father seemed anxious to get on an init
mate footing with ashington
Post.
"A meteoric stone resembling gran
tie recently fell near the mouth of the
Pistol river in Curry county, Oregon. It.
weighs something over four hundred
pounds and imbedded itself several feet
in the earth. Parties who saw it went
to dig it out, but found it so hot nothing
could be done with it. After it had
cooled it was removed and will soon be
placed on exhibition.
The miles of various nations ex-
pressed in yards are as follows: The
Irish mile, 9,94o yards; Swiss, 9,153;
Italian, 1,766; Scotch, 1884; Tuscan,
1,SO8; German, S,106; Arabian. 2,l43;
Turkish, 1926; Flemish, $500; Vienna,
1896; Roman, 1923 or 2,O25; Werst; 1,167
or 1887; Dutch and Prussian, 6,4s0;
Swedish and Danish, 1855; English
and American, 1,76O.
1t Planned Out.-A firm in Savannah
had had a trusted bookkeeper for seven
teen years. The other week they let
him go off on vacation and called in
an expert to examine his books. In
three days it was discovered that he had
been stealing right along for sixteen
years, and that he was in on Them for
over 81, 0O0.-Detroit Free Press.
An eminent English critic says that
s'the foolish word 'poetess' is a stand
ing witness in our language to the ma
tional obtuseness. How little must the
artistic constitution-the third sex-be
understood among people with such a
word in their dictionary. How inor-
ganic such distinctions are, of course,
needs no illustration
"A Strict Constructionist. - Mrs.
Frankenstein -" Now. Jacob, you
knows dot Easter vas comm, and efry-
pody vas vearin' new bonnets aind it?
Yer wants me to be in der style, dond
yer. now? Gif me ten dollars and I'll
make dot do" Frankenstein (excitedly.)
Watts dot: ten dollars for vun little
ponnet! Mein gracious, dot takes all
der profits from der beesness- No, Re
becca, l couldn't do it. De marriage
condract dond say nottings aloud pom
nets, und always sticks close to mein
condracts.-Harvard Lampoon.
"A cool-headed engineer prevented a
disastrous collision near West Point,
Miss, the other day. The telegraph
operator neglected to hold a freight
train as directed, and was pulling out
of the station when passenger train
was discovered rounding curve at the
rate of fifty miles an hour. The engineer
of the freight jumped. making no effort
to stop his engine. The engineer of the
passenger train, however, brought his
train to an abrupt stand-still. Leaping
from the cab, he jumped on the freight
engine and stopped the train just two
feet from his own.
1T has been the custom for some of
the worshipers at church in Manis-
tique. Mich. tc permit their dogs to &C
company them to the sacred edifice.
Hereafter the animals will be left at
home. It is stated that two of the dea-
cons. whose intercourse had not been
entirely harmonious. have dogs which
occasionally manifest the antagonism of
their owners. On recent Sabbath their
animosity broke out rather inoppor-
tunely. AS the sermon was in progress
the deacons' dogs, tired of angrily eying
each other. exchanged few threaten
ing banks, and then began to fight in
the aisle. Instantly there was great
commotion among the congregation.
and the excitement brought the sermon
to pay sc. When the clergyman re-
sumed his discourse, after the animals
had been separated, the listeners had
lost all interest in it.
A strange story is furnished from
Dubuque. Iowa, the truth of which is
vouched for by the city officials About
ten days ago Michael Conley died soon
after being discovered in an clubhouse on
the jefferson house premises. His
body was taken to the morgue and the
old clothes he wore when found were
thrown aside. When his daughter in
Chickasaw county heard of his death
she fell into swoon. In her dreams
she saw the clothes he wore when diving,
and received from him message Say
ing he had saved up roll of bills in his
shirt. On recovering she demanded
that some one go to Dubuque and get
the clottes. To quiet her mind her
brother visited the city, received the
clothes from the coroner and found the
money sewed on the shirt with a. piece
of her red dress. exactly as she had de-
scribed, though she knew nothing
about the patch nor the money until
after her father death.