davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
THE HORRIED WITS.
Jokes About the Fair-Courtship and Matri
mony

JOKES About the Fair-Courtship and Matri
mony.
Ned-"Did old Mr. Threads say anything
about a dot when you ask him for Syiva!1
Jack-'No; he used dashes. n-Puck.
| mans declining years begin at fifty: O
Woman's begin from fifteen to eighteen. -
AtchiSon Globe
Yabsley-"Does your wife ever choose
your clothas for you:" Wickwire-'' {;
she merely picks the pockets. "-Indtan-
| GpoliS Journal.
oracle (tired and sleepy)-I suppose it
| thinks it's time something went out.-Nsu
York Herald.
She-You will never ask me to do the
cooking, will you, love? He-No, pet L
have touch of the dyspepsia Already
HGdper'S Bdzar.
Jack-Love's language is the language of
the eyes. Tom (gloomily)-It may be, but
confess 1 have found it to be chiefly a
language of n-Nc.O York Herald.
Harry-Stunning girl just passed, eh.
old boya Did you see her look back at me,
tred-4es; they say it doesn't take much
to turn Woman's head.-F'fl.
It's queer how the pensive. thoughtful
maiden IS often changed by marriage into
an expensive, thoughtess wife.-Bin1han-
ton Republican.
He often was told in his wife
That treasure to him had been given;
Yet 'twould be the joy Of his life
Could he lay up mis- treasure IN Heaven"
-BroOktyB Life
when man is in love don't you know
everything goes" said Gushington, making
late call. well, net exactly everything. u
replied Miss Fussanfeather, glaucing at
the clock.-Yonkers Statesman
Mr.. Stinter examining some accounts on
desk)-"I think l prefer the counting to
the wedding days. Then there was alter
nate billing and cooling, now it seems to he
about all 'billing."-Boston Courier
u know what Pm going to give pa this
Christmas" said Arabella. What my
dear" asked her mother. ga nice wooden
comforter. 1t will be lovely to wear when
Ned comes to take me tobogganing. -
Hdrper'S Bazaar.
bashful youth at Walnut street party
last night, after dancing with young lady,
told her apologetleally ''You see /
wouldn't have asked you, but didn't know
another girl in the room. "-PhiIadeLplta
Record.
Miss Sideout-"I saw that young Wind
Jammer was very attentive to you last
evening. He must have talked steadily an
hour and half. We're you mashed!"
Miss Homeopathic -"No; I was mangled. ~
st. Paul Globe.
Pupll I'm class In punctuation readiug)-
| saw Alice charming girl. Teacher
Well, what would you dol Pupil-Make a
dash after Alice. Teacher-Right.-P
At the baths an impatient young man
walked up to the door of one of the COM
partments, and, knocking at the same
testify inquired: when in thunder are
you going to get those trousers on?" There
was faint giggle, and silvery voice re-
piled: "When get married, | suppose
He tainted at once. He had mistaken the
door-IriSh Times
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

There are several fancy styles Of dress
ing the hair in ourls. and, the curled
fronts, tops and side pieces are becoming
to all women except those who have q
severely classical style of beauty. So yerv
prevalent Is this fashion for wearing the
ha'r in mass of curls that women who
nave long, straight abundant tresses of
their own, are having them cut off to ac-
commodate the lighter, more becom;ng
bunch of artificial curls.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
GIRLS AND HAIRPINs-

.Hairpins are not iewelry; thoy're hair
pms. And hairpins, as every woman
knows, are the most necessary adjuncts to
feminine mechanics in all the world. Prop
erly speaking, halrpins are tools. A
woman can do anything with hairpin ex-
cept churn butter and play on snare
drum. She can pick a lock and cut the
edges OF her magazine; she can anchor her
back hair and sftix her signature with one.
She can rouse her sleeping lord in church
and mend her umbrella with this little en-
CINE. With one hairpin and plenty of
'Women's intuition very likely she could
run an ocean steamship.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
THOUSANDS OF sUFPERINg WOMEN

Delicate women who complain of tired
feeling, pains in the back and lions, desire
to sleep, dizziness, painful OF suppressed
menstruation, will find in Oregon Kidney
Tea faithful friend 1t can be relied upon
in every instance to give immediate relief
from kidney and urinary troubles Thou
sands OF women are suffering every day
from some disorder of the kidneys or liver
who might be permanently cured by using
Oregon Kidney Tea
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
GIRLS AND THEIR WAYS

New style OF LocomotIon--The DawdIing Girls
Girls and Rairpins.
Two girls were walking down the avenue
the other Gay, says the Washington Post
II bet that is New Yorker HASN'T
she got the silk walk down to a fine
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
UYSPEPSla.

That nightmare Of mans existence which
makes food mockery and banishes sleep
from weary eyes, readily yields to the
potent influence of the celebrated English
Dandelion Tonic 1t tones up the diees-
tive organs, restores the appetite, makes
assimilation of food possible and inyjror-
stes the whole system. An drupsists aaIl
at 81 per bottle.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

N tue Lr0uSSeau OF
Miss Bessie Webb,
d daughter of Gen
eral Alexander
Webb, of New
York, there was a
gown which may
be called a tri-
umph of extravs-
CANT simplicity.
1t was a pink
3 a : ! n evening
DIRE S S with a
folded bodice of
crepe de chine
also pink, trim
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

The Princess Louise and Mrs. Harrison
are the only women who have ever been
allowed to set loot within the cloisters of
the monastery of Santa Barbara, in Cali
fornia, and even after their visits the
ground was reconsecrated with no end of
fasting and prayer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
NOTABLE WOMEN.
interesting Paragraphs About Royal Ladies'
Abroad-0ther Personal Items.

The empress Of Russia, in commemora-
ton of the French exhibition in Moscow.
has received a splendid artistic gift in the
shape OF en egg of enameled silver. In the
egg, which may be opened, lies small
bouquet of violets made of brilliants. held
together with ribbon of the same stones
The egg is suspended by ribbon of rose
enamel, SO finely made that it resembles
one of silk.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

The empress of Austria has ordered that
oO,o0O rose trees should be planted round
the statute OF Heine, to be erected on her
property at Corfu on rock over 1000 fest
above the level of the sea.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
S0CIETY'S DEGREES.
Things for Young Ladies' to Learn-som
Philosophy and Advice.

Things for Young Ladies to Learn-some
Philosophy and Advice.
An anatomy class for women art students
SIS now being formed In New York. Artists
are often singularly ignorant of the anato-
my OF the human frame. Both Hogarth
and Sir Frederick Leighton displayed a
want OF accuracy in anatomical matters
which was simply absurd. The ANATOMY
art class will be instructed in the pronor-
tlons OF the human figure and in the var-
lous attitudes and poses which are poss,-
ole, according to the construction of tho
human form divine.
socIErY's DEGREES.
Society has decreed:
That woman's reputation suffers nv
handling. "
That mans bond is better than his WORD
mat any man can press any woman tn
his breast-provided he's dancing.
That Doodle is better than blood mr.
brains, or both. "a
L. That social ostrscism is earthly purea-
tory.
That incessant ohattering during mn
steal performance is not only permissIbls
but requisite
1t takes long time
For man to find out his unimportance
Before wine is thoroughly enjoyable.
For woman to learn the value of a
kindly word
10 establish business or reputation.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

A great many persons, who have found
no relief from other treatment, have been
cured OF rheumatism by Chamberlain's pain
balm. Do not give up until you have tried
it. 1t Is only 80 cents per bottle. For sale
by Z. G. M. /. drug department
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

pointa" said the taller and darker of the
two girls.
"What do you mean by silk walka"
why, Alice, haven't you noticed the
way all the girls are walking now, and
thaG lovely, rustIing sound?"
Oh, pshaw, anybody can have that who
mas silk foundation to her skirts"
Indeed they can't, then. Your dress is
made up on silk, and can't hear sound.
No, you've got to have on g silk lining and
SILK petticoat, too. l was wild for one,
and when found couldn't afford it-they
were $50 and SOL almost cried, until 1
thought of an old silk dress had, and I've
got 1t on now. But they don't makaa bit
OF noise unless you wrlggle your knees, a
sort OF cork-screw motion like this"
And the taller and darker of the two
girls wriggled her way down the avenue so
successfully and with such rustic of silk
that an old cclored woman put down her
basket of clothes and gazed after her, say
ing:
Dat young lady satnly gwine to tear
dat dress ter pieces eff she don't walk mo-
stiddy"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
FLUFFY GIRLS.

A young man, speaking of a girl to a
matron OF his acquaintance recently, said:
"Oh, she's one of these fluffy girls"
My dear boy" said the matron, ''what
on earth is a fluffy girll''
why, don't you knowa" replied the
young man. IA girl who has blue eyes,
golden hair, brilliant coloring, and looks
like bit of Dresden china. A girl who is
always hitched up in big armchair, and
has plaintive little tale of woe to confide
to you-not to you, my dear madam, but to
me-to some man. The girl who wears
charming gowns, all frills and ribbons and
hopelessly intricate to masculine eyes; who
is always delightfully."- clean with fresh
curled hair; who affects certain perfumes;
has curious gestures and modes of express
sion; who wears tinkling ornaments at her
wrists and quantities of rings on her
fingers; who abounds in parasols, fans,
and shawls, which we men carry trailing
humbly about in her wake This is the
fluffy girl and, my dear lady, long expert
ence with her has taught me that she
usually possesses temper as fluffy as her
poWn,n
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

One of the best friends of the jewellers
was the Princess de Metternich when she
was young and the leader of European
fashionable life. She not only owned a
matchless collection of precious stones with
which her robes of state were made to
sclntlllate with brilliant light, but she was
in the habit of having many of them reset
every season so as to make them harmonize
with the changes of style and the exigen
cies of fashion.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

Rosa Bonheur, in her old age, is to give
the world her pictorial idea of the last of
the wild Indians of America How correct
1t will be may be inferred from the fact
that she made all her studies from the Wild
West show while that combination was in
Paris 10 ~
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
To convince the obstinate that our views
are right.-Mustc and Drama.

10 convince the obstinate that our views
are right.-Music and Drama.
ADVICE TO GIRLS.
Don't conclude that man is gentleman
because he has the manners of one.
Don't think because man is a graceful
and interesting talker that he is erything
else.
Don't fail to take a man at his word when
he says he Is poor
Don't be familiar with men, and don't
permit familiarities from them.
Don't think because a man likes you that
he wants to marry you.
Don't think that man is not In love with
you because he has not proposed to you.
DON'T be silly about men.
Don't be rude 10 man in order to show
your independence.
Don't let man impose on you simply
because he lie q man.
Don't bslieve everything man tells you,
either about himself or yourself.-Detrott
Free Press
FIFTEEN RULES.
smut the door, and shut it softly.
Keep your own room in tasteful order.
o-HaVe an hour for rising, and rise.
LEARN to make bread as well as cake.
5-Never let button stay off twenty
four hours.
o-AlWays know where your things are.
7-Never let day pass without doing
something to make somebody comfortable.
o-NeVer come to breakfast without
collar.
9-Never go about with your shoes I'M
buttoned
lO-Speak clearly enough for everybody
to understand.
11-Never fdget, or hum, to disturb
somebody.
12-Never help yourself at the table be.
fore you pass the plate
l3-Be patient with the little ones as you
wish your mother to be with you.
14-Never keep anybody waiting.
l5-Never fuss, or fret, or fdget.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
MISCELLANEOUS,

A pen picture of Mile. Vacaresco. who is
causing the throne of Roumania to totter
runs: "She is short of stature. fer waist
is far from being small. Her face ia ovoi
the complexion dark, the mouth small and
pretty, the nose regular, the eyes large and
black, and her hair rich and has the color
OF ebony. She is fairly good-lookfng and
her age is twenty four.n
Mime. Patti will appear in Dublin this
winter for the first time in five wears
Great preparations are on the way for her
welcome.
Miss Alice c. Fletcher, who is making
allotments of lands to the Nez Percgz In
dams in Idaho, travels in the saddle and
lives in tent.
Women seldom give tip to waiter in O
restaurant, but they have poor opinion of
man who omits one.
A new occupation for women is that of
wedding superintendent.
The athletic girl must have sstramninp
suit' of corduroy.
Crime is exceedingly rare among the
women of Scotland.
Woman is supplantIng the male hotel
clerk. o'0t
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

The Queen of Holland, who is only ten
years of age, has little farm near the
royal palace on which everything has been
planted and cultivated by herself. In a
small drawing room she entertains her
numerous dolls, and IN a small kitchen she
makes dainty tarts.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
INSURE

In the Hartford" Assets over Sc, 900, 900.
H. j. GRANT & Co., Ag, ents.
j. f. GRANT, Manager.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

Anne Marie Mazzini, OF Milan, will be a
candidate for seat in the Italian parlia
ment, and II being clever woman, party
leader and the bearer of an honored name
like Mazzini are not points in her favor II
would be hard to find claims that would in.
fiuence romantic Italian constituency.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

Nine. Melba, with whom the young Duke
dOrlesns is infatuated, possesses, among
her many Jewels a diamond and pearl
bracelet which was given to her by Queen
Victoria some months ago as token of her
admiration for the prima donna's clear and
sweet voice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29
WONDERLAND.

Week OF ee
HERR ORLOFF, Transparent Man.
GROVER, FRANCES and LITTLE RUTH.
MERRY MUSICAL TROUBADOURS.
100 Adm1@ sion 1OC.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-11-29

depths which is capable of being unrolIed
like an every day fan.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21

DR.. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES has
said multitude of good things, but
none better than this: "The human race
is divided into two classes those who
go ahead and do something, and those
who sit still and inquire, "Why wasn't it
done the other Way?"
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
A Manor for n Souu.

William / had fine sense of what was
becoming at royal table. He was so
well pleased at one of his little dinners
with savory soup compounded by his
cook, Tezelin, that he sent for him and
asked how it was named.
81 call it dillagrout," was the reply.
GA poor name for so good soupp'
cried the king. "Nathless"-everybod
said ''nathless" in those days-s'we be-
stow upon you the manor of Adding
ton"
This manor, may add, reverted to
the crown. In the reign of Henry III
We find it in the hands of the Bardolfs,
and held on the tenure of making
pasties in the, kings kitchen on the day
of his coronation, or providing some one
as his deputy to make a dish called
grout, and if suet (seym) was added it
was called malpigernoun."
At James IFS coronation the lord of
the manor claimed to find a man to
make dish of grout in the royal kitch
en-, and prayed that the kings cook might
be the man. The claim was allowed.
and the claimant knighted. But what
was this grout? Was it identical with
Tezelin's dillagrout and the Bardolfs IS NAL
pigernoun? And was pottsge called
Bardolf, of which Fourteenth century
recipe has been printed by the Society of
Antiquaries, identical with these? Hso.
as among the ingredients were almond
milk, the Drawn of capons, sugar and
spice, chicken parboiled and chopped,
ETC., it was doubtlessly dish Tor king.
All the Year Round.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
Pole Pulley for Arc Lamps.

Most of the arc lamps used for outdoor
lighting are hung from cord passing
over pulley, and their safety necessari-
ly depends on the strength of this cord.
Usually there is another pulley fastened
to the pole, and the cord passes over this
pole pulley down to cleat or a windlass.
AS this pole pulley is rarely found to be
in line with the cord, the result is that
the rope scrapes on the edge of the pull
ley and wears out in a short time. A
remedy for this has been provided in a
sleet proof pulley, which fits the up
turned end of an ordinary polestep, and
which can.swing freely on this support.
1t is evident that such pulley is quickly
put up and will always stay in line with
the cord,-New York Commercial Ad-
yertiser.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
In Two Countries.

In America my neighbor can own a
piece of land adjoining my house, and
can, after long years, build on his land
in such way as to take the light away
from every window in my house which
overlooks his lot In England, after a
man has had the uninterrupted use of
light and air for sixty years he acquires
an easement, which is one of Judge
Blackstone's ''incorporeal heredita-
ments," and this has to be respected by
the owner of adjacent land, who, ac-
cording to English, and, for the matter
of that, Roman law, must so enjoy his
own rights and property as not to inter
fere with the established right and prop
critics of others.
In England if my neighbor sees me
building house with windows over
looking his property, and in such man.
ner as to tend to preclude him from
building himself at some future time, he
at once sets to work to put up an obstruc-
ton against my windows, which forces
me to come to terms with him. This
may be arranged by payment of a small
in fact. entirely nominal, annual rent of
few cents in recognition of his rights.
and this will prevent my acquiring an
easement over his land. Which of the
two systems is the more equitable l will
not venture an opinion. but leave the
reader to judge.-Detroit News.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
Historic Bell.

One of the most remarkable historic
relics in Rhode Island is the bell on the
Butterfly factory near the village of
Saylesville. Around this bell about four
inches from the crown is this superscrip-
ton, ''Peter Sacest, Amsterdam, Ammo
1868. M. E. Fecit." 1t is thus set forth
that Peter Secest made this bell in Am
sterdam in the year 1863 The figures
carved on the bell, together with other
authenticated facts, lead to the belief
that this bell was long used on convent
in England, and was sequestrated dur
ing the Reformation.
1t is also part of its history that it
was used in the English navy on the ship
Guerriere, which was captured by the
United States ship Constitution Aug. 10,
1912. The bell was subsequently sold
by the United States authorities with
lot of captured stores, and thus came
through the hands of the late Stephen
q. Smith to its present place in the But
terfy factory.-Pawtucket R. L. Trib-
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
Sympathy with Suffering.

Unless there be some sympathy with
suffering there will be nothing done for
its relief, and the ties of human brother
hood will be quickly sundered. If it is
blessing that we are unable to feel the
full force Of another's sorrow, it is no
less blessing that we have the capacity
of feeling part of it. And this capacity
usually needs development rather than
restraint. For few who may grieve
unwarrantably for their fancied insensi-
biity there are multitudes who are sadly
deficient in sympathy and never grieve
at all about it. 1t should never be for
gotten that all social happiness, all mu-
tual benefactions and all true benevo-
lence are founded on the presence of
sympathy. Were it not for this we.
should be miserable and misery giving
egoists. s.-Rew York Ledger.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1891-05-21
Serving Early Writs.

1t was not the easiest thing in the
world to bring malefactors to justice in
the early administration of the law in
Virginia, as the following returns, made
to executions, will illustrate. The ex.
tract is from the History of Augusta
County"
''In the case of johnson VS.. Brown
Q75D, Not executed by reason there is
no road to the place where he Brown)
lives"
Again: ''Not executed by reason of ex-
cess of weather"
November, 1752-'Not executed by
reason of an ak the ak being in the
hands of defendant, uplifted, no doubt,
to cleave the officers skulD.
''Not executed because the defendants
horse was faster than mine"
mot executed, by reason of a gum"
"Emlen VS.. Miller-'Kept off from
Miller with club, etc.; Miller not found
by Humphrey Marshall.
mot executed, because the defendant
got into deep water out of my reach"
November, 175E'Executed on the
within, John Warwick, and he is not the
man."
august, 1755-Forty executions
returned Not executed, by reason of the
disturbance of the Indians"