Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-03-17
IN THE W00LLY WEST.

Alderman Jacob Soffel Relates His Expe
rience az Farmer in That Section
Plenty of Crops Out There, but a Scarcity
of Cash-Interesting Features
Alderman Jacob SoffeI, one of the tip.
slaves and court interpreters in Common
Pleas Court, was once upon time farmer
in Kansas, and TO hear him tell his expe.
rience, embellished with his peculiarly OBJ
lique views on the subject, is a treat
All his previous life Mr.. Soffel had been
imbued with the opinion that to be an e1-
tensive landed proprietor and raise his own
beef, pork, mutton, bread, butter, honey,
etc, was greater than to be king. As be
wanted great deal of land, farm nearly
as large as all out cf doors, he went to Kan
sas when good land was cheap and he got a
farm large enough for artillery practice
without trespassing by dropping cannon
balls in his neigh bors' princlpalities.
When MIR. Soffel looked over his broad
domain. within the limits of which the sun
seemed to rise and set, his bosom swelled
with patriotic pride, and he communed with
himself thus:
Where is the man with soul so dead
Who to himself hath never SAIL
etc., and then he bought himself yoke of
Texas steers with horns so widely branching
that slx-ioot yoke was necessary to keep
them from knocking each others eyes out
Mr.. Soffel got them hitched to a pillow and
started IN to plow an S0-acre truck patch.
Flowing Under Difficulties.
The oxen went east, west, south and north
by turns and by running at the top OF his
speed Mr.. Soffel was able to maintain his
hold on the pillow handles. Occasionally he
would get its nose buried under the virgin
sod and Buck and Berry would be forced to
halt and hold council of war, but before
Mr.. Soffel could get the helm in his hands
they would lurch and throw the share out of
ground and then start off again on that in
trepid run that brooks no opposition when
impelled bv unlimited wind, 5000 pounds
only found in a Texan steer.
Finally when SoffeI had given up dead
beat and preliminary to a surrender, began
to-. repeat. "Now 1 lay me down
to Sleep" etc., he was saluted by
man on a broncho who wanted
to know what the trouble might be.
Mr.. Soffel explained and the luan announced
himself as next door neighbor whose little
1,000-acre brick patch lay over "bevaut" a
cotton grove 13 miles distant. The neigh
Dor advised Mr.. Soffel to unhitch and he,
the neighbor, would come next day and give
him a lift with mis- team and at the same
time show Sofel how to drive oxen. The
offer was accepted and in a couple of days
Mr.. Soffel had added to his accomplish
ments that of a proficient bull-whacker.
A Success in One Feature.
As a crop raiser Mr.. Soffel was a success.
The land brought forth its fruits abund-
antly, and all he had to do was to tickle
the earth with his plow and it laughed with
a harvest so abundant that it exceeded his
widest dreams. He reveled in an abund-
ance of roasting ears, ripe corn, string beans,
whea:, pumpkins, watermelons, tomatoes,
potatoes and everything else that the ex-
uberant climate and soil produced. Pota-
toeA in particular grew SO rapidly that they
could be heard grumbling at each other and
fighting for room.
one day Mr.. Soffel plowed out a wagon
load of the tubers, each as large as Chi
cago woman's foot, and took them to an all
around country store with intent to trade
them for clothing and other things needed
by the family. He was astonishej to fnd
that the storekeeper didn't want any pota-
toes, raised what he needed himself, and,
further, that he didn't want anv corn, pump
kins, wheat or. in short. any farm products
oil any kind; but he did want to sell goods
badly, and he wanted to sell them for cash
and for nothing else, and there was no other
store within two days drive.
Mr.. Sofel sat down and thought, and as he
thought the sun began to grow dim. He made
extended inquiries and found that not onlv
could he not sell his crop for cash, but there
was NOT even chance for barter.
Solvent, but Short of Cash.
Every one in the country was rich in food
products, but. as rule, short of money,
and wagon load of corn, potatoes, or wheat
could not buy pair of cowhide shoes or a
dress for baby. At that time there were
no produce exchanges in that part of Kan
sas, and it dawned on Mr.. Soffel's mind
that surplus without a market was a de.
fusion. He hung on, however. and man.
aged to tide over the winter. The next year
there was drouth and the surplus did not
weight the inha bitants.
The third year locusts darkened the mid
day sun and ate every green thing. Mr.. Soffel
was disenchsnted. He sold out on the best
terms he could get and came back to Pitts
burg. and now the rear end of Mt. Wash
ington lot, 25x100 feet, is farm enough for
him, and he agrees with John O'Riley that
the business is not especially adapted to the
average city-bred man.