Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1891-05-29


proceedings.
They're broke well enough replied
job, rather nettled, "but I'm strange to
them; nobody but Ike even drove them"
"Well, turn them about said the
deacon.
But they paid no heed to any COM
mand. and finally, exasperated, Job
struck them both with the gOad, and
they started at a full run down the road.
Clattery bangl the cart went, and both
Job and the deacon were compelled to
hold on the cart stakes to prevent being
bounced ont Of the cart.
"Stop emil Stop emf shouted the
deacon. al want TO get out. Whoai
whoal whoai ye varmints!7 But the
oxen only tossed their heads and ran the
faster. "stop EN-, can't yer"
job was downright mad by this time.
'Stop 'em yourself, you old foolr'
snapped he; ''you know as much how to
stop 'em rs I do"
Gwen be chucked out and killedr
shouted the deacon, az the cart banged
over q stone.
The oxen were now thoroughly fright
ened and running away for fair, and
both men were badly scared and holding
on for dear life. All at once an idea
struck Job.
"Say, deacon, can't you talk soma sea
talk 10 'em? That's what I've alters
heard Ike talk to EN-, he called out as
the cart bumped along.
Brother Haines, such sea talk as I've
heard amt proper fer a pillar Of the
church to repeat, and III call meetin' on
you fer this if we git out alive" replied
the deacon, with as much dignity as he
could assume while holding to the stake.
'Do try, deaconl' shouted the terrified
job; sit may saw lives"
Just then the cart gave a fearful lurch,
and the deacon banged his head against
the stake he was holding to with consid-
cradle force. This made him boiling
mad in addition to his fear. splice the
main bracel SILVER my tiDbersl Pipe
all hands to grogl" and then, as that
had no effect on the frantic team, "Boat
ahoyr" and then losing all control Of
himself, "Ahoyl Ahoyl drat ye, We
blankety blank brutesl' and the deacon
let ont such a string of profanity that
UOD AAlA AIA a. nAAAtG VI WV D1AlAs
While this was going or the oxen had
gotten over considerable ground. The
people along the road gazod in open
mouthed as~toaishnelt to see two such
staid citizens going along so ~fuTiously
with an OK team, and were terribly
scandalized at their apparent hilarity.
Ike, totally unconscious of Whist was
going on at home, was plodding along
toward his chum's, when he heard a
fearful chatter coming behind him. He
turned, and could hardly believe his
eyes. There came his pets Jack and
Billy at a furious pace, and his uncle
ana the deacon in the cart.
''Stop EN-, Illel stop emil" shouted his
uncle when no saw Ike.
Ike stepped to one side Of the road,
and as the cattle dashed up called out,
"Belay, Jack! Delay. Billyr" At the
sound Of the familiar voice and com
maud they stopped at once, and went
quietly up TO their young master.
I'm have the law Of you for this, Job
Haiues," snarled the deacon, as he pain
fully descended from the cart.
"And I'll call church on your r~etorted
Job as he rubbed his bruises. II won't
belong to any church with a man that
kin swear Ike you kin. A purity deacon
you Tel"
IF l had n brat like that I'd skin him
aliveT roared the deacon as he glared al
the bewildered Ike.
Isaac, take them cattle home al
once" said his uncle. "As for thi.
wicked man here, | shall never motto,
him again"
Ike took the cattle home. His uncle
walked. His aunt told him about thu
contemplated sale, and though he ex
pressed commiseration for his uncle it il
doubtful if he felt any. His aunt said i
served them just right. Ike kept hi
oxen.-Texas Siftings.