The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-02-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Set hen on a china egg and she is
better of.
Promissory notes are frequently classed
as paper-wails.
A good thing to have around the
house-A fence.
When it is very cold it is not SO bad
to be between two fires.
The crayon artist is not supposed to
have political aspirations because he fire.
quently takes the stump.-Boston Cour-
Ter.
Sappy-"Very few people get what
they deserve in this world" Miss
Caustique-"Aren't you gladl'-Aun-
sey's Weekly.
"Emmeline, can you keep secrets"
he whispered hoarsely. 81 don't know.
l never tried to. What is itW-Pdila-
deLphia Times.
A young man who married "butter-
fly of fashion" was unable, a year later,
to provide ''grub" for his butterfly
NorTisto'on Herald.
Papa "Come here, Toddlekins.
Whom does papa love better than any
one else in the worldl" Toddlekins-
"Papa. ."-Ne,o York Sun.
Mabel (confdentiallO-'I was awfully
stuck on you once, Jack" Jack (grati-
ied)-"When was thatl" Mabel-"Be-
fore knew you. "-Epoch.
Little John Jones says that his teacher
in arithmetic ought to be dismissed
from school because she invariably sets
him horrible example. e.-Elmira Gasette.
A chiehet by the brooklet,
With his gunet loaded full,
Let go a leaden bullet
And killed old Sitting Bull
Washington Star.
A bridegroom six feet seven inches
tall has Just taken to himself bride who
measures three feet one inch. Love me
little, love me long was the burden of
their song Chicago Mail.
ayes, | once failed for a hundred
thousand, remarked the red-headed man
who hadn't treated yet. "You see, the
girl was worth that in her own right and
refused me. ."-PhiLadelpaia Times
Photographer--"Your son, the student,
ordered this likeness from me- ''It is
certainly very much like him. Has he
paid for it3" "Not yet" 'That is still
more like him. "-Flieqeadc Bioetter.
"Grindstone, have you ever tried n
raw onion as a remedy for sleeplessnessl"
"Tried it once, Kiljordan." "IIow did
it workp "Had to go to sleep to get
rid of the taste. "-Ne,0 Yorb World.
Fred-"I didn't mind Taylor's dis
charging me so much as dil the insult
he subsequently, offered me-" Frank
"What was thatl" Fred-"He adver.
tised for boy to fill my place. - Yap-
kee Blade.
Mrs. Gottleft-"Do you know what
everyone says2 They all say you mar
ried me only for my money" Mr.. Gott-
left-'I don't see how it ever got out.
am sure l never told any one. IN
diaHapolis Journal.
Mrs. Ycrger-'What is the mattcrl
You seem to be very much annoyed
Mrs. Peterby-'I have good reason to
be annoyed. That Anticipated goose,
Mrs. Jones, treats me as if ! were hot
her equal. ."-IeTas sbtiHgs.
A few little sprinkles
OF delicate wrinkles
And Eyeglasses just bit stronger
sigh misanthropc,
When age is the topic
Maud isn't bud any longer
-Wdsh6gt0H Post
Butcher, who has been rejoiccd by the
birth Of a son, is informed that the child
weighs nearly eight pounds. lie takes
him in his arms to feel his weight and
calls out astonished: "By Joye, so he
dOesl" then after moments pause adds:
'But with the bones, mind you. -
Fiiegede Blaetter.
With trembling voice, though ardent look,
He family askeG her could She uooNyn
She owned she could, and, ho'der grown,
He asked her if she'd be his own
"lndeedy said she, with her nose G-curl;
II supposed you were wanting hired girl.n
-MdiUHGDOiiS Journal
A farm Journal said "There is going
to be more money in poultry than here
tofore." The ueXtday farmers wife
found nickel in a chicken crop, and
told her husband that il was the hrsr
time she ever saw anything reliable la
an agricultural paper pubdshed ip : hi--