The Sunday morning news., 1891-06-07
YOUNG MHN In SOCIETY.
Some Rules For Their
Proper Guidance and
Instruction.
THEIR INTERCOURSE WITH WOMEN.
Formalities to be Observed hints
in Regard TO Dress and Man
ners. Theatre Parties and
Dances.
THEIR INTERCOURSE WIFE WOMEN

The rules laid down in books of eti-
quette may seem preposterously elaborate
and absurd to the denizens Of cities and
to those who have had the manual of So
ciety at their fingers ends from child
hood, but they again may be like the
grammar of an UNKNOWN tongue to the
yonth or maiden whose life has been spent
in seclusion or rustic neighborhood. AS
It IS the aim OF the writer to assist such
young people, few hints to young men
coming from any life which has separated
them from the society Of ladies may not
be considered impertinent.
A young man on coming into a great
city, or into new place where he is not
known, should try TO bring o few letters
OF Introduction. If he can bring such a
letter to any lady of good social position
he has nothing further 10 do but deliver
IT. and If she takes him up and introduces
hins his social position is made. But this
good fortune cannot be commanded al
ways or often. Young men often pass
through lonely Life In u great city,
never finding the desired opportunity.
10 Some 1t comes through friendship on
the cricket ground, at the clubs or
through business. If Il friend says to
some ladies that Tflden is q good fellow.
.Iilden will be sought out and invited.
Tilt is hardly creditable to any young
man TO live in a great city without know
: ing the best ladies' society. He snonld
seek TO do 80, and perhaps the simplest
way would be for him to ask some friend
to take him about and to introduce him.
Once introduced Tilden should be par
ticular not to transcend the delicate out
lines of social suffersnce He must NOT
immediately rush into an intimacy.
call should never be too long One hour
Is all that q woman of the world says
should be granted TO caller. This rule
is good one for an evening visit. 1t is
much better to have oneas hostess wish
ing for longer visit than to have her SIGH
that you should 60. In first visit
gentleman should always send in his
card After that he may dispense with
that ceremony. Never should he force
himself into any society or 90 anywhere
unasked. OF course, IL taken by lady,
she assumes the responsibility, and 1t is
an understood thing that leader of
society can take Young man anywhere.
She is his sponsor.
EVENING DRESS
gentleman for an evening visit should
always be In evening dress, black cloth
dress coat, vest and pantaloons, faultless
linen and white cravat, silk stockings and
polished low shoes. A black eravat is
permissible, but 10 is not full dress. He
should carry crush hat In his hand. and
cane if he likes. For a dinner party
white cravat Is Indispensable; man must
wear 1t then. No jewslry of any kind Is
fashionable excepting rings. Men can
hide their watch chains in evening dress.
A gentleman's dress should be SO quiet
and SO perfect that 10 will not excite re-
mark or attention. Thackeray used to
advise that a watering pot should be APP
piled to a new hat TO take off the gloss.
The suspicion of being dressed upn de-
ANTI a MI n rrp1ao rr,d tffl
The hands should be especially cared
for, the nails carefully cut and trimmed
No matter how big or red the hand is, the
: more masculine the better. Women like
men to look manly. as if they could
drive. row, play nali, cricket, perhaps
We Will suppose that TiIden becomes
sufficiently well acquainted TO ask TO join
a theatre party He must be punctuaI
at the rendezvous, and take whatever
partner the hostess may give him, putin
the East he must not offer TO send
carriage, that must come from the giver
of the party. In this Eastern and West
can etiquette are at variance. as in GER
tain cities West and South gentleman
is expected to call in carriage and take
q lady to party. This would be ruin in
Europe, nor Is 1t allowed in Boston or
New York II, however, Tilden wishes
to give theatre party, he must furnish
everything. He first asks a lady to
chaperon his party. He must arrange
tnat all shall meet at his room or
friends house. He must charter an om-
nibus or send carriages for the whole
party; he must buy the tickets. He is
then expected to invite his party 10 sup
with him after the theatre. making the
feast as handsome as his means all ow.
This is a favorite and proper mann er for
q young man to return the civilities Of
fered him. 1t is indispensable that he
should have the mother of one of the
Young ladies present. The custom of
sending such q party with only very
young chaperon has properly fallen into
tedisrepu.
should wear the heavy loosely fitting
English clothes now 30 Fashionable, but
for an afternoon promenade with lady,
or for a reception a frock coat tightly
buttoned, gray pantaloous, neat tie aud
plain gold pin is very good form. This
dress IS allowed at small dinner in the
country or for Sunday tea. If men are
off in the Adirondacks, If flannel is the
only wear, there is no dressing for dinner;
but in a country house where there are
guests it is better to make full evening
toilette, unless the hostess gives absolu-
tion.
AT any rate there should be some
change, clean linen, a fresh cont, fresh
shoes, ETC., etc, even in the quiet retire
ment OF ones own home Neatness,
frequent baths. mucn exercise IN bne open
air, these are the admirable customs Of
young gentlemen Of the present day. II
every one of them, no matter how busy,
how hard worked could come nome, take
. warm bath and dress. for dinner, u
would be an admirable plan. Indeed, II
al American men like all English men
would show this attention to their wives,
society would be far more elegant. A
man always expects his wife to dress for
him; why should he not dress for ner?
He Is then ready for evening visits,
operas, parties, theatres, wherever he
may wish to go. No man should sit down
to a seven O'Clock dinner unless freshly
dressed.
II Tilden can afford to keep til6Iry or
dog cart and fine horses, SO mncn the
better for him. He can take young glri
to drive if her mamma consents, nut
servant should sit behind. This Is lndls-
pensable, and the livery, the whole ar
rangement, should be elegant.
QUALITIES OF A TRUE GENTLEMAN.
Tiluen, If he would succeed, must not
be fashy, and as true refinement comes
from within, let him read the noble
description of Thaekeray;- ",
What is 1t to be a gentleman2 Is u 10
be honest, TO be gentle. to be generous. to
be true, to be brave, to be wise, and, pos