davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26
A MAN WHO WAS ITCHY.

Mad Because Near sighted Man Sat ON
His BoI.
A man who was carrying a PASTE
board box about foot square in his
hand got into Third avenue surface
car and put the box on the seat beside
him and began to read newspaper.
He was SO absorbed in an article that
he did not notice who got on or Off
and by and by there was a crash as n
newcomer took the vacant seat and sat
down on the box.
Good lands! but I've sat down on
dog or a baby or something's ex-
claimed the man as he jumped up.
''Its very funny that you couldn't
see that boxV' growled the other as he
reached for the mangled remains.
I'm nigh-sighted. exclaimed the
other. Il generally carry cane with
me, and poke around in the seat be-
fore sit down, but came off without
it to-day. How many eggs did you
have In the boxp'
I'm not carrying eggs around in
box" sti6iy replied the other
"It's a good way TO carry 'em, II you
haven't got a basket handy Sort o.
felt like eggs when / sot down. but
you know best 1 didn't hear any
breaking Of crockery."
The man with the box was mad and
wouldn't reply.
III It's soap there amt no damage
only to the box" continued the near
sighted man.
The other was still mad.
Sort o like pewter teaspoons and
mebbe / broke some OF 'em, Jest
look in and figger up the damage.
While didn't mean to sit down on II
I'm willin' to pay for what's, broke"
He pulled calfsl1in wallet almost
two feet long out OF his hind pocket
opened it TO display several bills, and
went on:
Just name what you think is fair.
and II we cant agree well pick up q
third party"
The other gathered up the sad re-
mains OF his box and walked stiffly out
and dropped of the car. and he never
paused or looked back as the near
sighted man stuck his head out OF the
window and called:
Whats the use In bein' 80 mighty
techyP I'm a-offerin' TO pay the dam
ages, and what more can q Teller dor
Land o'Goshen, but II does seem a. II
folks had got 90 awful techy nowadays
that you can't pint your finger at 'em
without startin' rowl"--N.Y Y. World.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26

WiIo koAt AUS u1to0@ II IA
Up In . little Pennsylvania town,
perched on the top OF the Alleghanies,
lives patriarchal colored man known
as ..Old Boosy," says the Youths Com
panion. On the first day OF the week
he loads little flock OF his fellow
countrymen In their devotional exer-
cisco expoundirg to them the law,
with many commentaries strictly his
own. The other six days he devotes
to gathering bones from far and near.
which. after sufficient quantity has
been accumulated. he conveys TO fer.
tiiizing factory In neishboring city,
whore such wares find q ready market
So great has been his Diligence in
this good work that the neighborhood
long since became thoroughly picked
OF It's bones; and all sources OF posi-
BILE supply are now watched most mar.
rowly.
1t happened that farmer Of the To-
cality. beng OF thrifty turn. had
himself been saving such bones "a
came in his way from time TO time.
thinking that when he had secured q
stable load he would carry them tc
the factory. But he had ut last aban-
doned tho project and CHANGING re-
Gently to meet the old professional, he
said: '.Mr. Booey. there is u small
pile OF bones back Of my barn which
you can have II you want them"
Thank We, sah thank We. sab; Use
mighty glad to get them"
He proved his sincerity by repair
Ing almost Immediately to the farmers
house. The farmer had not yet re-
turned and his wife particularly
thin and rather acrimonious woman,
came TO the door.
Good mawnin', ma am. said Mr..
Booey, with great courtesy.
We'll, what do you want?" she re-
piled, little sharply. for she was a
woman who believed in wasting neith-
or manners nor time upon those she
thought beneath her.
Use come fun yoh bones"
my whatP"
'.Yoh bones"
How dare you talk to me that
way?" she exclaimed. greatly incensed.
for her extreme thinness was very
sensitive point with her. You shall
answer for this when my husband
comes home"
Why. ma'am, yoh husban' tole me
to come aftah them. He said he got
tiahd seein' 'em round and he be glad
II cart 'em of fur fertilizing."
She stood speechless for a moment
with amazement and rage.
MY husband sent youp' u
''Yas, ma'am."
.'Oh. wait till see that manr' she
exclaimed. for she had given that meek
and accomplishing person sound
rating just before he left home that
morning, especially charging him with
excessive fairness and laziness; and she
firmly believed he had taken this way
TO get his revenge.
..Yas, mann, continued the voncr-
able bone collector greatly nonplussed
at this unexpected reception, but still
intent upon accomplishing his errand;
'he say dey amt many, and dey pooty
old. and he reckon dey pooty dry; but
II put 'em long with the old boss by
de crick, he reckon ] git load"
Most OPPORTUNITY the farmer at that
moment drove into the yard. and see
ing his visitor called out, You'll find
those bones down under the big apple
tree the other side of the wall"
1t was week before the farmers
wife recovered her cheerfulness.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26
A Givs-Away.

Mammy-Gawge Washington, did
yo' go to do butcherman TO some meat
TO- do dawgP
George-Yes, nanny.
Mammy-Why didn't you git hit?
George dunno. Itor him dat de
las meat he glib me fer de dawg war
SO tufF dat daddy couldn's chew hit an
he toll me ter git hout Texas Sift
ingA
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26

Twelve average Tea plants produce ON
pound Of tea.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26

LunAcy appears to have Increased n
Scotland TO ., startling extent. In 1853
sners wsre 3, s2s lunaciss on the register
q I.nacZ commissioners, bit now ,thsrs
srs is,Se5,.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-12-26
Grooming a Horse.

The number of farmers who take
pride in keeping their horses in good
condition by proper grooming is COM
paraitively small. IL is too much "both
er" and takes too much time. But
there are some things in this world it
is worth while to bother about and
take time to do, and do well, and keep
ing the horse well groomed IS one OF
them. For it not only greatly inn
proves their looks-which is q point
worth considering-but also promotes
health and longevity. The first thing
to be done on going into q stable in
the morning latter giving the horse n
little hay--is to remove all the drop
pings and litter. The latter should be
carried of where none OF the ammon-
iacal fumes canreach the horses, whose
eyesight man be seriously impaired
thereby, as well as their general health
be affected. The grooming should be
done when the horse is taken to water,
and before the grain ration is given.
To make a thorough job OF the
grooming, begin at the animals head
and 90 over the entire body with
comb and brush. Rubbing of the
dirt a little here and there is not
grooming in any proper sense Of the
term. To be sure, it is something to
got the dirt on; but the health and
comfort OF the horse demand that the
whole body should be brushed and
surrycombed.
The requisite implements ore is'sd
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
The Word "Pants."

T think it was Mr.. Charles A. Dana who
enunciated the well-known definition by
which we learned that gentlemen wore
'trousers' while gents wear pants"
This ought to have disposed of the word
'spants' forever, but it didn't.
They tried to keep the word out of our
vocabulary. They tried hard. Sui it still
sticks. Pants has come to stay.
OF course the word is very vulgar. No
body who pretends to be influenced by the
''pants''-when he is on his good behavior.
But there is a fascination in the crisp, An
g~lo-Saxonish kind Of a word that lead
many prudent persons to sneak in pants
where ''trousers'' Is demanded. As for the
profane public 1t has decided that it wants
to gay s'pants'' and it is going to keep it
up. TROUSERS" don't fit.
And what do we discover in New York to-
day? The town is spattered with signs
You may see "Pants'' in letters two feet
high, The Excelsior Pants company ~solicits
your patronage through the agency OF a
most gorgeous and incorporating sign.
The east side i'll particular is crowded with
pants companies. In the street car adver-
tisements you are assRiled by the inquiry,
DO you wear pants?" And they do not
mean to thereby ask whether or not you are
the gent" of Mr.. Dana's definition.
Moreover, to illustrate the fearful and
~inconquerahle democracy of language, te
emphasize the popular determination no
to submit to any restriction in the use of
fitting and expressive term, and to indicate
n certain universal craving for euphony
we have the sign l saw yesterday afternoon
on East Broadway:
PANT HANDS WANTED.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
Automatic

But time changes minds AZ we'll a. mar.
ners, though even now when making
changes FROM ono circle to another, il often
requires that adaptability which could b
said found in ono who has automatic man.
nera. However, such radical changes not
.trest dsseas. etu.. among nsonlc. hnt Ala 4,
the oonvan iancea and Injuries afforded
naakind. Railroad travel 10 ono instance.
A few years ego, comparatively one had to
consume much valuable time In an uncom.
3crtshle why 10 make what ID now thought
aothing Of ~ a nights Journey in a sleeper.
portation facilitiea can DO found on tho
fast trains Of tia Minneapolis n ut. I4auia
railway to Chicago, 81. Louis, Not Springa,
Kansas City, eto. lnqaire Of any agent. OF
the company, or @. NJ. Pratt, general tieset
end passenger agent. NiRnAapulik Nina
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12

pins. Possibly there Ia some thought OF the
comparative absence OF tho wenr and tear
on the objects OF feminine MIN.
All tho same, there are women BOWERS
who not only make frequent ''spnrea,' but
actually think there In nothing to provoke
surprias In d neat .'strike." IL In bcauti-
full sight TO watch \ tidy m swing. .
h6nvy ball and watch II acuddinR down the
polished door Of the alley to precisely tho
right spot beside tho head pin. When sho
Gtarts Out she bangs the floor nj the START
ing point and gets'ths ball in tho gutter ten
feet away, or she tosaes tho ball down until
II goes rolling foebly at angle, with scarcely
lifa enough In " 70 roach the region OF the
pins X eravitAtion did not help II. But
whom ono Of these gentle athletes does
cAtoh the hang OF the thing then you have
a charming sight, my brethren.
" II too bad that more people do not
bowl. Moro Now York people would bowl
probably II SO large q proportion OF the
bowling alleys were not associated with
beer saloons. The mort popular alleys in
town are the club alleys. where IN ladies'
day there are aome clever and spirited con-
tests.
When q wise bowls she wears a
freely fitting glove Of bnckskin, or some
material of the same general style.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
Who Are the Funny Menu

Far be it from me to disparage those
brilliant cartoonists, who have given to
American cariaature so commanding a po-
sition, but it is worth while asking. who
are the men who invent the pictorial fun
of the American illustrated periodicals?
The answer might be, that he is by no
means always the clever artist who signs
his name to the drawing as it appears in
print. (. 81 ."&
The inventor Of a useful phrase in a Ger.
tain discussion On political economy would
say that he is the Forgotten Man"
This world has in il a great many forgot
ten men, men whose brains are helping to
make the world move, but mon who for one
reason or another are buried out of sight.
Their particular genius does not bring them
into the eye of the world. Other men, with
out precisely shining with their brillianoy,
And it feasible to be the medium of placing
the product of their valuable but obscure
wit where it will do the most good.
The Forgotten Man of the funny paper,
and of the funny corner in the serious
pape,, is the man whose head is full OF
bright concsits, but who hasn't the luck to
be able to draw. SO he writes his droll dia-
logues or comments and sketches his no
ton Of the pictorial situation in such q
manner MS to suggest to the skilled artist
how he thinks the drawing should be done.
These sketches are sometimes funniei
than anything that ever gets into the
printed page, because they represent a
funny mans effort to express his funniness
thr ough q medium of which ho is not q
master. Very often the author scrawls va
rious marginal notes, and indicates by
pointers and other things what he is trying
to express.
He finds particular difficulty, of course,
when the fun of the situation he has con.
ceived lies in the character OF the drawing,
and he has to make the draughtsmnn see
what he ia aiming at. -,..
These unknown funny men, who may be
among the editors Of the periodical in whicf
the picture appears, but are more likely tt
be among the contributors, who send in
patches Of 'ideas'' from time to time, nrt
very useful people, and they are generally
paid with the libernlity that ia prompted b,
the service OF useful people. Perhaps il
some other slammed they are working fol
glory. But in the picture way they 'blov
IN their wit for dollars. Il
~7 @" MATT LAMAR.
r0nyriubt. w. 'E@. =.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12

| MERCHANTS HOTEL
Entrance to Liebig World Dispensary. 8 Ess
Broedway, corner Main Street.
Nov. !. remaining to Nov. 8, and on safno dates
will visit Helena zach month thereafter.

NQII6QC8 ~ ll6UlK "DEla AlbpbAAAE$s . AbDSk
Broadway, corner Main Street.
Drs. ldsbig h Co. are regular eraduates in
m aatbe1issi ia g ~ ssnss si.,e. .s q ihRis ! P's G.i'sonsi:
private RI 3 diseases WHISTLER c.usea ~ impradenas,
f io..s.. q sexual ass'. asbidty ai iiass d T. ss.asi power 1,s9l
the blood l%syphilis; ,aonorrhna, gleat and strio
refunded. Charges low. Thousands Of casea
cured. All medicines arc especially prepared for
or poisonous compounds used No time lost
from business. Patieate, at = distance treatod by
mail and sxpress. Medicine sent evsrywhcrs
In diseases Of the blood. brain, heart and neRy y
Gus system, AZ we'll 90 liver, kidney and gravel
complaints. rheumatism, paralysis and all other
Write for illustrated papers on Deformities,
Club Feet, Curvature Of ths spine; Piles, Tumors,
CancsMF, Cat.,rrh' bronohitIs' Inhalation E M;saae
Bladder, Eye, Ear, Skin and Blood and all surgi-
cal operations.
Tho only reliable Medical and Surgical Insti-
tute making . specially OF private digeases;,
All blood diseases successfully treatad. bypht-
little Poisons removed from the system without
mercury. New restorative treatment for loss OF
Vital Power. Persons unable to visit us may be
Iasatsa & ao eoat q aGaE''P maaieiass OF ri In sfm
One personal interview preferred. lhli ana con,
suit us, or send history Of your. case and Wa will
send in plain wrapper our book free. explaining
why thousands cnnnot bs cured Of Private, ope-
ciaI and Nervous diseaaes, Seminal Weakness,
Hpermatorroa Imp0tency, Syphilis, Gonorrhoea,
elect, yaricoclss, etc.
Drs. Iiebix b Co. are the only qualified or re.
sponsible specialists loft in Montana since the
new medical law.
Office hours IRONS to Q and Z to 8 p. M; or by
aDpointment in obscure or urgent cases.
CONSULTATIONS FREE.
Agency for DR., Liebig's Invigoretor at Room
1. East Broadway. Butte.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
Columbia Men Training.

Columbia college is going to try and
make itself famous this fall. It is going to
see what can be done with the game of foot
ball when brain and muscle get into a har-
monious partnership.
The college boys have started in with
their training at williamsburg, in the
cpirit of ~liveliest enthusiasm. Il is said
chat the teams now getting together are
the strongest the college has turned ont for
years. The varsity eleven is in stunning
shape, and tho freshmen think they are
polishing up a team that will make the rest
of the football world very nervous.
The seniors and juniors Of the college
will play on October 27, the sophomores and
freshmen on October 20. and the final COL
lege championship game is set for Octo-
Der 81.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
The Pawn shop. Raid.

This ia the season of the year when the
buoyant New Yorker, returning from his
summer outing, finds that his house or his
flat has been quietly visited by certain peo-
Pile of tho burglarious variety. The dis
covery is the more dreadful because, being
made, in all probability, several weeks after
the event, there is little chance of success
full tracing the thieves or the goods they
have taken.
have Just been talking to a woman whose
cozy fiat flats, you nave noticed, are al
ways ''cozy") was looted during her sum
mer absence. She bewailed the loss Of
seven dresses, but is thanking her lucky
stars that all the silver and two sealskin
sacks were overlooked by the sngacious
marauders.
"Some people," said this woman, ''would
let the lost goods 90. But l have heard it
said that this disposition has greatly in
creased the safety and daring Of New York
thieves. So have been heartily engaged
in trying to find out who robbed me and
and what they have done with my property.
II thought | had influence, and l went to
polioe headquarters, but the central office
detective who was assigned to the case very
deliberately did nothing. Meanwhile, the
quiet, unofiCious ward detective. who start
ed in on the case, really did something. He
sistancc. Now, I always supposed that you
saw most of q pawn shop from the door.
But when l went in with the detective and
found the upper floors packed with goods /
marveled greatly. Three or four of these
places were enough for me. As an expert
ence the excursion was invaluable. But l
know better ways of having actual amuse-
ment. ,.& . .
"Then the detectives traced down a GER
tain colored person of the Rentler sex, who
was unable to say satisfactorily where she
got the dresses which she had given to an
nhhhp NnlntnH y,nrunr ~ &tn ON mr. {,
pawn. They have her looked MP now and /
have already made one visit--lny flrst-to .
police court. t>
"All this, mind you, is in Difference to my
theory that 70 are bound to hunt down the
people who rob US. And, of course, I shalt
be glad to get possession Of those Dresses
again without paying tho pawn money
which ! will II there is a conyiction.'
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
Bowling for Women,

There has bean a good deal Of bowling at
the summer resorts. and people are coming
back to town with a new inherent in this
vigorous sport. But the real novelty il hat
women are becoming deeply interested in q
form Of amusement which they havc pre-
viously sampled with something Of inditfer-
emit caution.
Naturally, the chief characteristic Of
feminine bowling at this time lies in the
fact that most Of the pins remain standing
inter the three balls have been rolled down
the alley. In consideration OF this tendon
cy il ia a fact that at tho summer alleys. as
we'll Al in the city, u considerable reduction
IN price 10 made TO women who bowl to-
gether. Ihe presumption Ia that a smaller
number Of boys 10 required to ret up the
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12

THROUGH TICKETS are sold at all coupe
Offices of tho Northern Pacific h. r. to points
North, Fast. South and West in the United
States and Canada.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-10-12
Telegraph and Typewriter.

--- 1UFp8 + 0H1N 1JFUV y --
i vatchad I talaoranb onarator ve.taraav
49, /. $500. ~ 49, H..
~ y ciicAeu " y eypew.issF ING worus thh'
came over the wire. The trip-trip OF the
typewriter sounded so much like the dot
daah az tho telegraph instrument that Il
-a.r,. - an.;ana M - ont,s;on ,uos go.
s:o n ogtious sna' ~ o.isnhia .na vi ~. ~ .ua
saonsa' :. ss annaa ,,as iasJ - nv ~ do enp tI y
u 10 nh ns,s IT'D rat ma / aahDs -
LIZ a. oh 49, : ~ - - aa;a. o1s "1oA : spoAo =
~ s, iMnous IN - saaui s,;I. .,.n..r
.haaa acnnaa - = t.".s IN tra;,ai aor Il
snoss sodnun ~ ~ Z n' ~. Ine MI ha.1o a;4i " .n,t Z !.
y Nv . - nos r ~ J;H;nritn = ~
- M oonI,r str;nirc thn r;an1 law rita ?
s 1apttas - ,1.n; r.,1tnh, NJ f;naS cnrractiy ana II
,ot m,Lino . ain thar viii make Il ;mnos-
n.1uS AI"Ai4N : = - ~: ~ -
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1891-04-02

81. 81, ~ sss ~; ~;
=. -. 5 M s,s ;,tIiisss sS3|
.r..,S. 49, ~
/, SW.h,.tas,5 ! m
- ,o.ssciSssI sg;;. p
1900 ~ .sss,ss ~, d
nnsii IN ..ss ,s,,,Xss = ss;s
hs,s,r. ,,i I ~. 4 ~ v ti;';:S
.nssn ~ ~. s...a 4, !. s,ss S;ss Eis
1880. ~ ,,,.,' s, =. =, "a
~, ,sa s Il. 81. s1 sss,ss.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1891-04-02
INK & Observation-Disclosures.

Ink & Carter deal in real estate
and are popular negotiators of Red
River valley loans, and have a large
lot of lands for sale, improved and
unimproved,-the senior member be-
ing Richland county's state senator.
These gentlemen came to the county,
in an early day, but did not form the
present partnership till 'S4; and are
to-day the only loan company in the
county, who deal directly with the
eastern capitalists. They were the
first to break the grip of the
exorbitant usurist, here, making
loans at straight IL per cent, and it
is true we think have always been
the most popular loaning firm in the
county. Mr.. Carter has the super
intendency Of the Office work for the
most part. Senator Ink being inter-
ested in other directions,-and while
these gentlemen are equally worthy,
whatever Mr.. Carter does in the
affairs of this firm, may be put down
as accurate and honorable to the last
degree. Our poet looked upon these
young men, and observes:
Of this business firm we've few words to say,
They are old settlers-coming here In early day;
And in consequence know our people and lands
And for reliability and integrity this firm stands
They do business and do it in careful way,
Continuing their loans to Richland Co.. they say;
They do the fair thing by all whom they meet,
With attention and care they all kindly greet,
Much Of the city and county they know and tell
Deal with them in loans and you'll do we'll;
In real estate business thsy take . hand, 81:
They have business relations MI over ~ laaa.
They've assisted in bsildilg this city q ss
OfInk Z Carter our peopis 40 aaots ;I 5.s& s
Call and re this nrm 4 ,ts ron d @ se
or all loan nesotiatars n ~ - -. s 81
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1891-04-02
THE BAPTIST CHURCH.

The society was organized in
'S2, and now has a fine church edifice,
and its pulpit has been occupied by
some very able ministers, among
these having been the Rev. Mr..
Rockwell. who was 4selr here for some
time, being succeeded by Rev. j. F.
Hill in .sf;~Who remained tothe fall
OF '96and who was one Of the truest
christians and able ministers Wahpe-
ton ever had; Rev. J. w. Luke, the
present minister, having succeeded
Mr.. Hill.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1891-04-02
day rates, and special rates to weekly
or regular boarders. A commodlous
barn is managed in connection with
the hotel business.
THE MERCHANTS HOTEL.

This hotel was built in 80 by
Jonas Sanders of Breckenridge and
has had various managers down to.
'88, when j. E. Milton & Son pur-
chased the property, who, making
some material enlargements and i'm
provements upon the same are now
affording the travelling public good
accommodations. In fact these gen.
tlemen spare neither pains nor labor
to give Wahpeton's guests the best
service possible. j. E. Milton is an
old "knight of the grip" himself,
and a man of long experience in the
hotel business, hence we do not go
astray when we say that he knows
how to take care of the weary
traveller or transient customer.
These gentlemen have roomy we'll
lighted and pleasant Office and run a
free bus to and from all trains, and
being centrally located, are handy to
the mercantile portions of the city.
They charge popular day rates, but
make special arrangements with
weekly or day boarders. They have
accommodations for as guests, and
lay plates for 4S people. Stop at the
Merchants when in town.