The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1891-01-14

rule OF three. For instance. suppose the
earnings of Mr.. Van Grip over and above
those Of ordinary men for those forty.
six wears to form . like proportion OF
the g.. 600, 900 to that which they actual"
" did Of the $3.50, 900. we can find out IN
. iifYy how much. his entire earnings
during that period amount to- Il IT us
see:
$50, 600: 1000, 900: 2Te.0oo.
Multiply our second term BY our third
and divide the product by our first
There you are, sir, $l,57z 142 IS; that IL
the amount Of Mr.. Van Grips extra
earnings during the forty-six years.
Again, il it takes twenty nobodies IN
uncertain circumstances and conditions
forty-six years to earn $278.oo how
many nobodies, working under similar
circumstances and conditions and for
similar period, will it take to earn $l''
All, 142.S5?
27e,OOO: 1877. 142.2s: 90.
Multiply our second term by our third
and divide the product byour first. An
swer ia 7ss5Ta76. 600 nobodies. A frae-
ton of nobody does not amount 10
much, SO will discard the fraction and
call it III
Gracious, goodness me, what an enter
prising, philosophical man Mr.. van
Grip was!
It warns the cookies Of my heart to
contemplate him. just think Of it. H0
earned and saved more than ia OF tho
ordinary run of men earned and squan-
t dered.
Pondering over these figures an idea
: occurred to me, and as am not one OF
I those who keep their light under
: bushel, give it to the readers OF In"
a Standard. 1t IL This: The sole object
t of life nowadays is money. Granted.
4 There are over 80, 600. 900 human beings
n in these United States at the present
), writing. Now, suppose that one-hfti.
of these are able-bodied men (which
Q they are not, but we will suppose so).
s engaged in terribly earnest pursuit OF
@ that object, and suppose again that Ill
:. every lis of these TO- 000. 600 there isone
9 Mr.. Van Grip and ia incapable nobodies.
e Now let us figure out that and see what
it comes to:
A. lis 10000, 900 /: !:
A. Proceed as we have done above and
/. we find that there are S8956 1928 Mr..
" Van Grips and 9,91S,043 11-23 incapable
a nobodies who are unwilling or unable N
" accomplish any thing toward the oo]ecs
n referred to--money.
Now have come to the idea. Listen!
10 Let those 9, 913, O43 1l-23 incapable no.
" bodies be quietly choked, or burned, Or
Or perhaps, it would be cheaper to dump
"a them into the sea, and then after that
:. has been done let us strangle all the mo-
IL body infants as fast as they appear AMI
b. save and carefully raise the Van Grin
ve infants; if-but, hang It, here comes
" this terrible ''if!' How are we to recog-
w nize the Van Grip infants? There's tbs
SO rub Perhaps some reader OF The stand
NJ ard NAV devise mode OF obviating this
little difficulty.
d. Some men are curious animals. re-
is lated the facts above written to my
ed friend Pete Drudger, and instead OF ap
IN preciating the enterprise and public
Is, spirit Of Mr.. Van Grip as they deserve
al ne W0t6puOEACUAAy oUAO sAASS
ID; able gentleman's memory to tatters
he said he never did an honest days wori
he in his life said he was nothing but
nd bloated spider who lay idly in his hole
al and watched an opportunity to prey ur
ars ON the poor nobodies, said that tn
its 81, 557, 142 IS Of right belonged to the II
of nobodies I spoke Of. then branched o.
S6l into some nonsense about ''unearned u
100; crement" or some such stuff. and FINAL
up wound up by calling me fool, and sal
;lu- that II my ''idiotic idea" about burnini
ex- choking md drowning could, by an
nts possible means, be carried into exec
re- ton, / should be the first victim, as b
Mr. had never known more incapable n
est body than am; whereupon LEFT hin
ing There is no use In trying to reason VII
snch men. OWEN FITzsIMoNs.
ha, The single tax idea is steadily COZ
~ 10 mending itself to earnest thinking me
~. ~. 1t is rank injustice that man shou