The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-08-02
w ANTED--A GOOD EA TER
The Queer story Of Il Very Queer
Advertisement.


The advertisement read: WANTED
Four young ladies. Must be fine look
ing and Of engaging manners" went.
The establishment was an eating saloon.
Over its door glaring fat letters of gold
informed mo and all passers by that it
was a Restaurant Tor Ladies' and Gen
tlenen." Everything in it was brand
new and quite tastcless-gaudy A
shiny, veneered partition to one side
had another gold lettered sign glued to
it, sCash Department" Under this sign
was little window set upon marble
slab, and in the little window the face
and shoulders of man. The face was
very rod, very wrinkled and very fierce.
The head to which the face belonged
was very small, with scanty stiff black
hair on end all over it. The shoulders
upon which the head was set had a
pigeon breasted trunk between them,
and were very narrow and very sloping.
AS came in the man put his little
/ head out of his little window and looked
eagerly and 1ercely at me. ! walked up
] TO his window and told him why came
/ He could see but the upper part of me.
ssStand back" he said. I did so, and
| he looked me over.
II want girls, he said; 'sbut--can you
eat?''
His question surprised me. Most girls
| can. / could. Just then / was very
hungry. was embarrassed, not by my
ability to eat, but by his question.
hesitated
"Can you eat-muchT' Very fierce,
indeed, did he look as he repeated and
amended his question
Am to eat here, sirs' asked trem-
blingIy.
s'Eat? OF course!' said he.
Now, did not understand whether he
wanted me to scrub the floors, wash the
dishes, take the money or what, but !
| did understand, thought, that he was
| specializing with a view to economy
upon my ability and inclination to de-
your much or to live upon nothing. So,
always truthful as / am, answered, 81
am very small eater, sir"
won't dor said he.
'sSirsp said l.
Wont dol Don't suitl'
was sorely disappointed. Tears came
to my eyes. My eyelids and my lips,
too, trembled.
Don't cry-in here!' he said fiercely.
"Don't cryl Sorry--very sorry--can't
help it-don't suit-won't dor
rs my appearance not what you de-
sire, sir!p ventured to ask
sLook well--youre a beauty-very
4 sorry--can't engage you2"
Although I was somewhat doubtful of
my rank as beauty, knew myself to
be passibly good looking girl, and
readily forgave him his exaggeration;
especially as I did not understand my
beauty to be bar to my engagement.
MY manners, sir" l said, '.are good
engaging. If you could see me wait at
table, say for one day, If that is what
you want help for''
wait at table-nolhing! Got walters
--lotsl Don't suit--won't dol"
You doubt my ability to please? You
judge of my usefulness or my manners
without having had opportunity
mo, no, no! Manners chariningl But
you don't suit-won't dor
Queer, | thought. You're beauty
\ Manners charmingi Don't suit and
won't do. Why? Wherefore? Curiosity,
as well as want, stimulated me to ask
the fierce little man: why don't suit
you, sir?"
Then, fercer than ever before, he
said: Don't bother-any morei Small
eater-don't suit-won't dor And he
slammed book upon his marble slab
and moved away from his little window
Ito get rid of me.
reflected that it might have been
well for me to have asserted that / did
| not eat at all, but was bright enough,
even in that moment of disappointment
and vexation, to appreciate that he
would not have credited the statement.
Then was outraged by his assumption
that / must be glutton simply because
of my claim to temperance and modera-
ton in eating. Angered by this and by
his unreasonable rebuffs, knowing he
would hear me behind his gaudy parti-
ton, | said while moving toward the
door: '.What meannessl 1t had oppor-
tunity would eat you out Of house and
| homer
.Hey? What's 'at?' he yelled, as he
bounced back into his little window and
stuck his fierce little head through it at
! me- Whats at? Eat house and homer
| Hey? Hey?" He looked SO alarmingly
fierce that. in fear that he might eat me,
my progress to the door-and out-was
very much accelerated
But before I knew it he was at my
side, on the adjoining sidewalk. He
seized my hand, and half pulled, half
coaxed me back again: Come, girl!
Please, girl--come income back
| please, girl!'
In no time, before could think or pre-
| vent it, he had me back into his place.
+, and closed the door and had planted
himself against it.
House and home-you said, you--eat
some one-out off Did you? Didn't
your Hey? HeyY' His fierceness seemed
! transformed to triumphant intensity
IS he spoke and guarded the door against
my escape.
When / could gather a suficiency Of
my scattered wits together to do it, | re-
| Piled defantly: Il would Isaid would
| if.you employed mel'