Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-08-23
WANTED HIS MONEY sAcK.


A Sight Seer in . Bowery Museum Is Dis
appointed in the Fat Woman.
An old man, whose suburban whis-
kers and shoddy store clothes marked
him as a visitor from far beyond the
city line, was creating some excitement
in a Bowe-y dime museum. He was
standing in front of the placid fat lady
when he turned and addressed every
one within hearing with a series OF re-
marks that spread CONSERVATION on all
sides.
'See here, =" he cried, I've been all
over this place, an now I'm goin' ter
speak right out what l think of We
Yer dog faced man don't look no mors
like a dog than he does like q meetin'
house; yer AIbinos amt got hair no
whittier than the hull Simpson family
up my way; yer snake charmer amt
got a snake that kin do harm, an now
this fat woman here amt half as fat az
La Watkins that lives the next farm
ter ourn. Yer big picters outside is a
deloosion an a snare. l might a gone
out an said nuthin' if il warn't fer this
fat woman, but l won't low yer ter
impose upon me ter this extent. Yen
picter of this lady is as big as the front
Of yer hull buildin', an now here she il
only a medium sized girl with the
drOpsy l tell yer | won't stan it.
Now, what We goin' ter do about i'll
Refund my money or stan the conse
kences Of legal actionr'
The countryman gazed with flashing
eyes about the room. and the people
present exchanged glances Of astonish-
ment. The fat lady bridled with in
dignation, and lookrd for moral support
to the living skeleton, who seemed an
cry enough to do bodily harm TO the
radical rural lecturer.
I'D have you know, you old chump.r
said the fat lady, that / weigh over
300 pounds, and this is the first time in
all my connection with the profession
that l have been insulted. How dare
you come in here and talk soF'
"Ye don't neither weigh more'n 300
pounds" snapped the irate country.
man, turning his attention to the fat
lady. Il got a porker at home don't
weigh that, an he's bigger'n you, an
III bet We on it. An 'spose ye do weigh
more'n 800, that amt a third part o
what the picter makes We ont ter weigh
l thought ye was as big as a elephant
an tell yeye Amino bigger'n Lu Wat
kins, who kin ride bareback an jump
fence if she wants ter without dom
harm ter herself. Ye amt what ye say
ye be, an | amt gettin' my money
worth when l see ye."
AT this point the fat lady began tc
shed a few tears, and the proprietor Of
the museum came1 in to see what the
disturbance was about. As the obese
freak wept the heart of the country
man softened, and he proceeded to
apologize for the severity Of his Ian
guage.
Never mind, little girl, he said. II
didn't mean ter hurt yer feelin's. Come
10 look at ye, l guess ye air summat
bigge.'n La. s'pOse the contrast ter
the big picter made We seem kinder
small. Don't cry. I'm sorry. an l
don't want my money back. Air ye
se1ln' these photographs Of yersefi
Lets see EN- I'll take one hum ter
yenfma."
The expansive face Of the fat lady
came out Of the clouds at once. and
she evinced the greatest interest in ex-
hibiting 10 the countryman her oollec-
ton o. photographs. The proprietor
of the museum fingered long enough to
see that peace vas fully restored, and
then he went out to his Office, observ-
ing TO the ticket taker as he went that
IF the Jay hadn't pulled out when he
did he'd a got the razoo out inter the
Bowery." The countryman left the
place a firm friend of the fat lady.
subdued by her tears and fattered by
her elaborate smiles New York Cor
ChiaaOn Harald /