The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-03-27
A BAD CASE.

error OF his ways, ana uaS lIupioreu iiie
to give his free and frank confession to
the world My husband is-or was-a
very enthusiastic man. and imaglnes
shat he has fine eye for the arts. Being
n lawyer he enjoys considerable leisure
IN the afternoons, and 1t Is this that mas
proved his ruin I shall never forget his
first offense 1t was very shortly after
our marriage was wondering why he
was SO late for dinner when suddenly a
cab drove up to the door
For one moment fancied that it must
be his mother (wives have their mothers
in-law as well as husbands) Imagine
INV astonishment when out jumps my
husband with a guilty jauntiness OF
tiemeanor presents the cabby with tlve
shillings q noted this extravaganza my
self from the window and is followed
by that functionary. staggering under
an enormous burden, swathed in brown
holland, up the steps The usual ioafer
rushes forward and a. fresh gratuity is
distributed. to the horror of my econom
ical mind At last the thing--apparent
ly q miniature of the great pyramids
deposited in our small hall with reso-
nant bang. and its bearers depart.
What on earth makes you SO very un-
punctual. dear2 The soup will be quite
spoiled And what. in heavens name
is this?'
Il thought you'd like it, darling [this
with a nervous hushl. It's the most
wonderful bargain, and it would have
Aeen really wicked to have let it slip
Its a genuine Elizabethan-but- there
nee it for yourself.
: The mummy like bandages were at
hast removed. and what do you think /
beheld? An enormous rusty. musty
dusty and hideous clocki
Yes he continued, "a real, antique,
Elizabethan musical clock It plays six
tunes of the period; and. what's more
hook at the initials craven on the face
w s. I've very little doubt that 1t
once belonged to Shakespeare himself
who was very fond of mechanical inven-
tions shall have. of course, to have it
repa.reu and done up, and then it will
look splendid in the dining room"
He quite took my breath away,
could only ejaculate, Where ON earth
did you pick it up. and what did you
pay for ity'
-At the sale of an old house. Every
one said it was ridiculously cheap. and
that they'd have given twice as much
II only they had known Just think
only a hundred dollarsi Why, coult
get two hundred for it any day.
White elephants were nothing to thi
disgusting ''horologe," as | found it de
Bcribed in the catalogue. T. cost twenty
dollars to put right. and then it smashed
twenty dollars worth of things in being
Fixed up 1t sometimes played its mis-
srable 30 called tunes so rapidly tina
you had to stuff your fingers in You
ears, at others. it emitted a spasmodi'
and raven like croak that was positivel,
alarming
At last, thank heaveni it stopped
never to go again. and l firmly re
solved that not one penny more shoul
be spent in doing it (and us) up Ad
10 this that subsequently discovered
Geneva makers name inside. l coul
wish that had been more stern on thi
Erst occasion. but I was weak, like to
many young wives, and was satisfie
with a scolding. The result was that W
gradually became deluged with the mo'
miserable miscellany of rubbishy brio;
brac. damaged furniture, dubious pic
ures, and. in a word. the refuse of tt
auction room
To believe my husband, we were ii
proud possessors of Cromwelrs hat, b
ron's toothbrush. one of Sheridan's |
U's. curl of Marie Antoinette's, R
bens, Rembrandt, a George Morlar
u-believe this latter is the evil genius
the Picker up) and whole roomful
split and useless "Chippendale al
Sheraton, etc And all had been q
quired at ..sales which had history
At an ..absurd sacrifice" and to the a
miration of the disappointed bystande
saw that the fiendish habit was grad
III Gkn drink
gaming. | hope know my duty. !
solved to protect myself and him, an
after an awful scene ensuing on his I
ouisition of an infected sedan chair, {
acted from him q solemn pledge to gi
ND this pernicious habit once and Fl
ever.
But was inexperienced; l should ha
Amown the male mind better. DETER
from the open pursuit of his nefario
designs, he determined to smuggie
purchases in secretly. had observed b
lingering somewhat suspiciously o.
the auction advertisements of the dali
and noticed also that his coat pock
bulged out curiously ON his nightly
turn One day had occasion to t
tas good wife should periodically
she escritoire of his dressing room. WI
do you think ! found2 The draws
the pigeon holes, the lnterstces ev
were literally crammed with heaps
cracked and tarnished trihes-poun
boxes, enameled knife handles, embos
watch cases. pocket revoivers and
like.
was mortified It was too true;
barred ry the dread of discovery fl
..picking up" big things he had resort
under miserable subterfuge, to sm