South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1891-05-01

tnc DOR. as men Always do when
they are out Of temper, retusned to
the kitchen. The fire was out. aud
The room decidedly smoky.
IL 60 down to the cellar and bring
up some coal, sald he.
AMI he started briskly down the
ttairs. On the secon, step he put
his foot into q rip In his dress,
stumbled and fell u the bottom OF
the cellar, sm ashing a basket OF eggs
and knocking over shelf loaded
with pans OF milk.
Deuce take il! said, he. scramh.
lihg'to his feet,' and rubbing his
heal how DO w4msn msnage With
these internal long dressesp I shall
break my neck with ihis yeti
The FIRE mado again, Mr.. Keith
be. Thought him OF dinner. lie lock.
ed at the time. piece; II was one
o .clock-almost time fer dinner !.
What should he have for dinnerf He
had heard his wife say that q rice
pudding was easily made; he would
have a rice pudding, an, boiled po.
taioes, and Lroiled steak. lie filed
a basin with rice. stirred IN a little
sugar, dropped in an egg. and SCI,
the vessel into the oven. The pota-
toes he washed 10 soap suds. that
they certainly might be clean. and
put them into tue tea kettle because
they would boil quicker.
The steam was frizzling in the fry.
ing pan he vas proceeding to set
the table when the door bell rang.
He caught tie pan from the fire, TO
keep 1t from burning, and made haste
to the front door. Then he rememb.
cred it would not he just the thing to
go to the door with frying pan in
his hand. so he deposited it on the
parlor sofa. and answered the ring,
Mrs. DR.. Nudge was on the steps.
dressed in her best
Yes-I-dare-sav, stsmmered
Hei, b, my wife is abse.,t, and L am
the Bridget.
Mrs. Nudge sailed into the parlor.
which was 6arkened to exclude tho
sua. and without Stopping to look at
he. seat, sunk into the frying pan on
he sofa.
Jupite,!.ciied Mr.. Keith, you've
done it n,w.
Mrs. NJ: sprang up, the grease drip.
ping from her rich silk dress on The
Icarpe!-Her face grew dark. She
was about TO dy into a passion. but
controlled herself, bowling .haughtily
aud left. the house.
Keith returned to the kitchen q
little cres,failen. for Mrs. Mud was
lady before whom he desired TO APP
pear particularly we'll.
There was tremendous cracking
in the oven. He thought OF his
pudding and Hooked in. Tbe burnt
rice iad hoped all Over the oven /;
the basin had melted apar' and the
pudding was MT done. He stu. the
door on the ruins in disgust, AMI
looked after his otaioes only 10 6nd
Them boiled to perfect je lv. And
jJst- as be- maiet6e discovery tirers
was sharp peal at the door bell.
Creatiopl there's that abominable
bell again. / wish folks would say
at home-P.i lock all the doors, aud
cut all the bell wires after today.
Attic door be found Mr.. and Mrs.
Fdget and the children.
Ny dear SIR. Keith. how do you
dop cried Mrs Fi!get. We were In
town anil thought we'd stop in TO
dinner. Where's Mrs. Keith2
She's gone sway, said Mr.. Keith,
ruefu'ly. wondering What he should
feed them on; walk in, do, | am the
housskeeper today.
Yes, so l should judge. But Of
course you make q splendid one. ]
remember you used 90 be telling
Mrs. Keith and myself how easy
housekeeping must be. II must be
mere pay 30 you. Don't put your
self about, beg you.
Put myself about indeed! cried
Keith, Tetrea'ing to the kitchen
Good graciousl what shall l do? I'D
give a hundred dollars il Mary was
only here.
lie drew out The table and set il
without any cloth then took off the
plates and put On the cloth-the very
one be bad wipsd the dishes on. The
task completed be put ON some more
po' a,oes. and some nore steak burn
ed the steak TO q cinder I; took Off bis
potatoes when hs did his meat, aud
put them ell upon the table. There
Sas a loaf Of bakers bread Ia the cup
board; be psrsded that and called
bis guests TO dinner.
A quizzical smile spreld over Mrs.
Fidgets face at the sight of the re-
paa'. Keith was in cold perspir-
/ ration
Ma, 10Y plates all greasy. and SOS
my knife can't eat on dirty dish.
es, cried little Johnny Fidget.
And my fork lie wet ell over with
water that's dropping of the table
cloth and my tator amt bali billed,
cried listle Sue Fidget.
A slight noise IN the kitchen drew
the attention Of SIR. Keith.
JupitefI cried be, il Mrs O'Flath-
orty's dog amt making of with my
/ steak!
lie jumped from the table and
started in hot pursuit. The dog
made ,he best Of IL; Keith's uosc-
cuslomei attire was a sal drawback,
ard be made but little beadEay.