Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-04-22
PRICE ONE CENT
aoMENTs oF mrRrn.


The greatest philosophy is in not want
ing things you can't GET Atchison
Globe.
The man who "knows it all wouldn't
he such bad fellow If he only kept IL to
himself Yonkers Statesman.
Have YOU large staff of reporters TO
gather the news for you?" Country Ed
'tor-No; we have a wife. Puck.
Women are not cruel TO dumb ami
mails. No woman. would willfully step
on mousse Richmond Recorder.
The average wife hates to ask her hus-
band for money, and in most cases he
hates to have r.--ISomerville Journal.
The young man who can write coed
hand hasn't half the chance in life with
the youth who can hold one. II Washing
ton Post.
Sanso-Bad times make money scarce
Rodd-Yes; but not nearly so scarce as
real jolly good time does. New York
Herald.
1t seems to be the opinion of large
number of financiers that no stock can
be floated without water Boston
Transcript.
How is your boy getting along at Har-
vardsr ~Flst rate. He writes me that
he goes TO Boston every night TO study
the stars. y Boston Gazette
If you have million you can get
into the four hundred Yes, and if you
have four hundred you are likely to stay
in the million Brooklyn Life.
talk about striking tender chord.
soliloquized the tramp at the woodpile;
"this is one of the toughest cords ever
struck. = Yonkers Statesman.
@Do you think that tailors are on the
whole deserving class of men?s We'll,
it can't be denied that we owe them
great deal "-[New York Herald
Somebody asks for good definition OF
philosopher. A philosopher is man
who earns 50 a week and is contented
with his income.-I Somerville Journal.
"Dear mel" said old Mr.. Hoggs, hesitat-
ingly; Il know I've forgotten some.
thing, but for the life of me / can't re-
member what it is. ~ Harper's Bazar.
A Compliment The managing editor
spoke of your work yesterday" What
did he say Something PLEASANT" Yes.
He said you had nerve. ~ Chicago Tri.
bune.
Wife-Frank, how do you like the way
our new laundry girl does upyour collars
and cuffs Frank first ratel first
rate. She does things up brown
PUCK.
Johnnie-Mamma, is General Greely
the clerk of the weather. Mammoth,
no, my child. He is the cashier. He
gives us our change, don't you know
Washington Star
Briggs-Does your wife ever threaten
to go home to her mother? am willing
to own that mine does. Braggs-No;
she threatens to send for her mother
indianapolis Journal
Weeks-W Well, how are things over In
Boston2 Have they named any new pie
Aristotle yet? Wentman-No-o. But
heard man there ask for Plato soup.
--lChristian Register.
"Yes, we two boys were thrown to-
gether a good deal when we went TO
school in the country" In the same
class, chr" "No; we rode the same
mule. - Boston Gazette
"See here, doctor, you told me to avoid
any sudden excitement $50 did; it's
likely to be fatal to you" "Then why,
sir, did you send your bin to me yestei-
day?D-[ [Fliegende Blaetter.
They were talking about trees. My
favorite, she said, is the oak. 1t is SO
noble, so magnificent in its strength.
But what is your favorite2" @Yew, no
replied. Il Pittsburg Dispatch.
Professor Ito class in geology Now.
gems are peculiarly crystallized. What
is the form of the diamondf Bright
pupil-They are generally diamond
shaped. II jewelers. Weekly.