St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-02-21
HELPING sTEPNIAK OUT.

The show windows OF our local stores
have been adorned during the past week
by pictures of an notwithstanding
gentleman with an unkempt beard and a
wild look in his eye. This same gentle
man, who goes by the name of STEP
MAX, arrived in st. Paul in person day
day before yesterday, with a trunk full
OF horrors, which he proposed to unfold
to trembling audience Of large proper
tons in the Metropolitan opera house
during the evening. The audience,
however, did not materialize, because
the evening was stormy, because "a
Texas Steer' had consumed the ener-
gies of the show-going public for four
consecutive performances before, and
because it was not generally known
whether what he had to exhibit would
be worth the price Of admission or not.
And to the end of time what doubts
there have been on this last point will
never be settled, because Mr.. STEPNIAK
refused to play his 'Kreutzer Sonata"
unless he were paid for it in advance;
and, the pay not forthcoming, he shook
the dust from his feet as he got outside
our city walls.
STEPNIAK's peculiar line of horrors.
as we understand it, has to do with the
state of society in Russia, which is a
country in Europe where NAPOLEON L.
got stuck in the snowdritts; and espe-
cially with the social congestiOnS Of 81
IBERIA, which is remote suburb of Rus
Sid where real estate boom has never
been heard Of. The American people
have learned most of what they know
about these places from number or
very gloomy books about them, which
have been translated into our literature.
A casual acquaintance with them
gained In this way would seem to sug-
geSt that they were very unpleasant
quarters for permanent residence.
The sleighing appears to be good all
the year around, but this is about tn e
only good thing recorded about them
and this must pail on the jaded palate
after decade or two. The women are
generally pictured as dressed in yellow,
color trying to any complexion; and
they behave III very improper manner
lOA uIlO lllOoU pau uouoAly
themselves under moving railroad
trains when they decide to commit sui
eide. This surely is in very bad taste
and there is no more accurate gauge of
the civilization of a country than its
popular form of self-dispatch. On this
account, if'On no other, Russia must be
pretty low in the scale.
m u emf mi M
from chronic influenza; but whether
this has been contracted from too con-
slant addiction to their native language,
every word of which ends with sneeze,
or whether the SneeZe word endingS are
the result of the chronic influenza, doc
tors and philologists have never de-
cided. 1t is like the great question as
to whether the first owl came from the
first egg or the first egg from the first
owl. Nobody knows. but you can take
your choice without paying any money.
These men with the chronic influenza
have, besides, very pessimistic views OF
life and they go around with dynamite
in their pockets which they explode at
all social entertainments. No dinner
party IN Russia is complete WITHOUT a
course of nitro-glycerine. The way the
game is played is TO throw the explosive
when no one is looking, and when the
protector is in a position Of complete
physical safety. Life is so horrid to
these Russians that they feel it their
duty to kill everybody but themselves.
When they are successful in the game
they are sent to Siberia, where the
sleighing is better than in the other
parts of Russia. There they eat tallow
candles and whine great deal about
the sorrows of existence.
1t would have sounded better to have
had SrEPNIAK:tell US about these lovely
people; but since he was prevented, the
GLOBE briefly summarizes the essence
of Muscovite civilization in this way for
its appreciative readers.