The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-09-25
suNFLowER srLHouErrEs.

All signs Iall IN dry weather, except
the Alliance countersign.
There is one thing the newspapers have
not reported of PETER. ''He refuses to
talk"
The next time the people run old SIAN
derer PETER for anything, they will run
him out of the state.
The famine In Europe bulls wheat aud
corn, but strange to say, Kansas own
trees bear most of the fruit.
Senator PETER says there is no boss in
the Alliance. This statement does not in
clude Congressman Otis mich COW.
Jerry Simpson derrogates the waving Of
the bloody shirt But Jerry. himself,
never forgets to faunt the empty sock.
The Alliance has really succeeded in
placing Senator Plumb in an awkward po-
sition. He has to speak of PETER as his
colleague.
One reason that New York has so much
more circulating medium than Kansas is
because this state dominates men for gov
ernor without barrels.
A calamity speech gives the impression
that the Kansas farmer is an invalid and
bankrupt But the truth is he is neither
broken down nor broken up.
! Brigader General Polk to the contrary,
it is much safer to whistle Dixie" on the
streets of a northern city, than TO whistle
! Yankee Doodle in the south.
| Who is the man at the Republican
meeting who talks the loudest and long
est, who has no mercy for the Alliance or
| its doctrines. who never wearies of prais-
bx d., ha oil
been Republican? Will he always stay
by the party? Oh, no! He is just back
from the Alliance and he will be the first
man to fly off at the next craze that comes
along.
Scene in the State Historical society
rooms in 1900: Stranger, stepping back in
establishment from the monograph to
which he has just been listening: Great
Scott! what was that heard? Mortgages,
debts-blood. ballots and bullets Slaves
and paupers' Do tell me what does that
mean?" That" says the attendant. lis
the only relic extant of a peculiar craze
that passed over the state in $50 and '9l,
called the Alliance. That is the only
speech preserved of a man it elected to the
senate. | forget his name-Pefer or
something like that"
When Senator PETER was in Wichita he
made statement that every man in the
audience knew was a lie. And although
everybody was surprised at his gall, the
customary caution of not interrupting a
speaker was observed. A few blocks away
were the Missouri Pacific freight yards
and with this feeling in the crowd, the
long whistle of a locomotive just after the
statement gave it ludicrous color. PETER
observed it too, for he hesitated as if some
body out in the crowd was jeering him
Then he said.
Il repeat it. The total profit of farm
products in year in Kansas is $50, 900, 000."
Again the locomotive gave long shrill
incredulous whistle and the crowd laughed.
And two minutes later, PETER was just
wiping up the earth with Jay Gould.
A wagon load of picnicers went by
Sedgwick county farm last Sunday. They
came upon an immense field of water
melons. Near it they met Il funny little
man in spectacles along the roadside: 1--WE
would like to buy some melons. Do these
belong to your" they asked.
Nope. Them's old Jim Litches," was
the response.
"Where could we see him?"
Cant see him-gone to church. He's
pious cid fool anyway. Wouldn't sell any
thing on Sunday"
The crowd looked disappointed.
Look here the little man said, going
up to the wagon. Jim Litch and me
amt good friends noway, and I'd just as
lief help you load up your wagon. Git |
out in hurry its about time for old Jim
to come back from church"
The crowd hesitated.
Come on, ;" urged the man, Eve could |
do it in IA jiffy. Serve the selfish old cuss
right.
The crowd was thirsty and hungry and |
the melons looked tempting. In Il couple |
of minutes, with the help of the little !
man, the wagon bed was covered with the |
fruit.
Now git, with all your might. for l |
think / hear old Fitch's wagon a-cOming /
up the road now" he said.
A cut and slash and the wagon with |
the stolen watermelonS was going up
the road full speed. But just as they
came in front of the house, 1hey met
farmer and his wife in a wagon. Every
man felt guilty and wanted to pay for the
melons The driver drew up his horses.
rs this" said the spokesman, in any
thing but steady voice, lis this Mr.
Fitch?"
The farmer looked at the melons in the
wagon suspiciously and the crowd felt
guiltler than ever.
Mr. Fitch, l suppose'" the speaker
asked again.
mo sir I'm not Mr. Fitch-you passed
a big watermelon patch didn't you;" the
man asked soberly.
Every man in the wagon nodded guiltily
Did you see anything OF suspicious
character down there-little man with
spectacles?"
Not a man said word
"Well, " said the farmer, with a suspi-
cou of a smile Il know yoH did, cause
he's down there. He's played that game
before"
Here every man looked at the water
melons uervously and thought of the en-
nifty between the funny little man and Old
Jim Fitch.
We'll" said the farmer, starting up his
horses, that was Jim Fitch himself.
--------
UNCLE SANS CROPS.
From the Atchison Champion.