The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-02-21
MADDEN.

When the best man wins!
burg Dispatch.
M'FADDEN.
The L~smentabls Story 81 the successor !"
McGj.ty, McManus and McSuify.
After McGipty sank to the bottom Of the
sAs. AcCloskey thrsw down his antagonist,
McManus attended a ball with his coat sew
cred in twain from the neck downward, ana
McNulty exploited his high water trousers
n McDowd's initiation at the lodge, the
field OF comic song-and-dance chorus re-
NAMED open to all newcomers till Mcfaa-
den made his appearance. Mcfadde
6Yst name was Clarence, and, beset Win tne
ambition to be a dancer, his experiences
have furnished. and are furnishing, the
theme Of a comic song rs popular and rs
taking in its words and melody az Down
Went McGinty proved to bs one year ago.
The German commentator and critic,
August SchIsgel, in one OF his essays de-
clsred that there were four parts to o play
constructed upon correct literary princi-
ples. First, there was the cause rs shown
in the relation of the characters to each
Other. and constituting usually the FIRST
act. Next. there was the natural result,
whether Of love, hate, envy, interest, or IN
difference. ~springing from such relation.
This constituted. logically the
second act. Then there was the reaction.
full of suspense and uncertainty. sprinRing
from this. and constituting the third act.
And finally. there was the catastrophe, or
climax. in which the events OF the story
naturally eliminated, making the fourth
and last act, in which the villain got ms
desc rts and in which the hdel1ty Q. tas
hero secured the heart and hand OF the
heroine and tie long-deferred nlsssIng OF
deu's mishaps follows closely the formula
laid down Nv Schlegei. Verse one, which
ia entirely descriptive in its character. re-
veais the ambition of Mcfadden and the
method he adopted to satisfy II;
Clsrenca McTadden he wanted to waltz,
But bis feet weren't GATED tfa' way.
So he saw a professor and stated DIS CASE
And said he vas willing to pay.
The professor looked down IN alarm d. ~ Aee''
And be tucked on a five to hs regular price,,
For Learning McFadden todance.
commercial relation of a elm char
scter having tfus been established between
the professor and NcFadden: the next step
in the narrative reveals as follows. and sub
ject to tue ,uies laid down by scaleeel, the
result Of that relations:
He took ont McFadden before the whole class,
And he sho we'd him the step orc. or twice.
But Mcfaddsn': two feet got tied INTO . knoS'
Sure he thought hs was standing on ice.
AT iast he broke loose and struck out with q
will,
Bot his head got 70 dizzy. he fell on his race,
And chewed all the wax off the floor.
To leave McFadden in this deplorable
and mirth producing position would have
been unkjnd On this part OF the professor.
and would have displayed, too, an absence
of artistic perception on the part OF the
narrator. Herein came the opportunity to
excite the curiosity Of the nearer, and to
leave him in a state of mental suspense. 1t
10 utilized in the following lines, which
leave the nearer quite unable 10 determine
whether or not McFadden got, or did not
get, full commercial return Tor his cash
Investment with the professor:
McEsdden soon got the step into his head,
But it wouldn't 60 into MS ieet. o.u
And be counted his steps on the street.
One night he went home TO his room to retire,
After psiating Inc to, n a bright red:
Sure he dreamt he was Waiting, and let ont
And he kicked the dashboard off the bed
The injury lone to his household prop
srty was. however. for McFadden. some
thing of a side issue, tinged With humorous
significance. and having nothing in it of 4
stirringly dramatic or tragic character.
The intense phase Of the story was, with
true artistic Judgment, retained for the
last. and its effect was further heightened
by the introduction Of the heroine, since
without a hsroine-a young, fair. sympa-
thetic, loving and suffering w~oman--no
story Of stage or real life would or couii
be complete. The heroine Of McFadden's
romance figures only in the closing verse, |
and, it must be confessed, she does not
figure In a very attractive or enviabie posi-
ton:
Wh,n Clarence hal D~racticed the step for a
snre be thought he had L down fine.
He went TO a glri and ne as .s1 her TO dance,
And he wheeled her out into the line
He walked on her feet, and hs fractured her
Aud he said that her movement was false:
Sure the poor girl went round for two weeks on
For ieaining McFadden TO waltz.
This disposes of McFadden, and, for tins
period Of two weeks. of the young girl, but
It makes no a~llusion to the professor, and,
accordingly, n sort of epilogue or envoi was
constructed by the author. in which the
professor, in the words Of chorus, WAS
heard addressing McFsdden in the follow
ing words, replets with the accents of cen
sure of Clarencs's awkwardness and of a
things in the future should McFadden con-
tinus to take lessons in the ter psichorean
art.
One, two, three. balance like me.
You're fairy bot you have your faults:
While your itft foot is lazy, your right foot is
Eut don't be unaisy; III learn you to waltz.
The boys all over town are whistling this
refrain, and undoubtedly tins story Of Nc
Fadden'g mishaps as a dancer will continue
to be popular until it makes room for some
thing newer or f.esher, il not better, in the
same line OF vocal composition.