davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

How many great titles
end in 'or'--emperor, legislator, editor
- Wiggins (who lives in n flat)--
Eyes, and janitor. Harper Bazaar
-Ghe easiest way for a woman to set
n man crazy about her is to firmly con-
vince him that he is making no impress
sion. Milwaukee Journal
-She--"A penny for your thoughts"
He-"But they are worth their weight
in gold" She-"Well, half penny,
then."-Indianapolis journal
$50 your wife has left you?" "She
has" "What were her last words on
leaving you?" lis my hat on
straight?' Cape Cod Item.
Over the Garden Wall" is the fa-
vorite lay of the hens, if garden-malSing
is proceeding on the other side.-Bing-
hamton Republican.
That actor is pretty prominent on
the bill boards" remarked the guest at
the hotel Eyes, but very obscure on
the board bills, replied the landlord
Washington Post
Weren't you able TO meet your
notcs?' asked business man Of an un-
successful associate. "Mect them! Why
I couldn't turn "a corner without encoun-
tering eral."-Washington Post.
rs your husband a religious man?"
"I'm not quite certain. When hear
him speak in the prayer meeting,
think he is; when ! hear him speaking
at home, think he isn't."-N. Y. Press.
81 wonder why Scissors is such a
a scorching critic?" Gle is probably
one Of those writer's who always had
their creations returned with thanks"
st. Joseph News.
1t Was Not Appareut.-Fitznood
"That-aw-impudent wascal called me
a fool; but bar Jove! l gave him
pwiece of my mind, y'l1now." Old Gruff
mo: did not know you had any
Yankee Blade.
-Bedford-"TIello, Montague. haven't
seen you at the club for a deuce of a
while. I've been told you have re-
signed; is that SOP" Montague-"Yes;
the fact is my wife belongs to four now,
and that's all I can afford. "-Broollyp
Life.
To Suit His Saturday Night Gait
What Il curious way TO build path
said Hawkins, who was spending Sun
day with Mankinson in the suburbs
You have laid it out on the pattern of
stroke of lightning" Yes" said
Mrs. Mankinson, "John uses that path
when he comes home from the club
Saturday nights. 1t saves the lawns
and shrubs. IN. Y. Sun.
Keeping Up Appearances. - Hus-
band Suddenly waking up vt dead of
night)-"What in the world was that
noise?" Wife (calmy)-"It's all right,
dear. The guests of the Astor ball are
just coming home, and 1 slipped down
and gave the front door a slam. so the
neighbors would think we were there
Dcmorest's Monthly.
-Chollie-"Fellow twied TO wead my
mind last week, and just because he
couldn't, said l hadn't any. I have
heard since that it is nothing but sort
of muscle weading, anyway" Vickars
Well. you haven't any muscle, either.
No wonder he failed. d."--Indianapolis
Journal.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

pOllSnGQ DraSS
work, while the engineer and the dis
trict superintendent stood upon the
platform beside the cab.
Another train had just drawn into the
station and its passengers were emerg-
ing from the cars and hurrying away.
Some of them overheard portion of
the conversation that was taking place
between the two men as they passed,
and one, a middle-aged, well-dressed
individual, seemed greatly impressed
with the few words that fell upon his
ear, for he walked only short distance
before he paused, as if desirous of hear
ing more.
There is no use in talking, Baxter,
you have got to make the run tonight, 3"
the listener heard the superintendent
say in a voice that was by no means
pleasant. 'It makes no difference to
me or to the stockholders of this road
what trouble you may have at home.
Your place is on this engine, and there
you must remain or else quit the service
of the company altogether"
But, sir" replied the driver, in
pleading tone, 'do you understand, my
wife is very ill-perhaps dying and
there is no one with her but our two
little children and kind neighbor,
who cannot spend the whole night by
her side"
''Do not tell you there is no one
about at the present time whom 1 can
put in your place?" returned the Off
cial.
''There is Sturgis," suggested the
other. "He is here in the depot at this
moment"
What, that miserable inebriate? He
never'll run train another mile on this
road"
but, sir, he has not drank drop for
two months"
THAT is neither here nor there. He
is not qualified to take your place, not
even for trip"
SIT is hard, very hard" murmured
the engineer as he turned away, and
was aboutto mount to his seat in the cab
when the stranger who had loitered
near, stepped up saying:
II beg your pardon, gentlemen. Did
l not hear You say that you wanted to
secure the services of an engineer?"
''Well, what if we do?" brusquely
asked the superintendent, looking at
the man in some astonishment.
''Then should like to offer myself if
it would be any accommodation. am
an ola railroad man, and an expert
enced engine driver
But do not know you," again re-
turned the official. SIT would be too
much risk to trust this train in the
hands of an utter stranger"
81 have papers that will convince yon
am competent" and the applicant
withdrew from the inner breast pocket
of his coat leathern wallet, and took
therefrom a document, which, however,
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
SHIP RAILWAYS.
Evidence Existing o. Their Use Among the
Egyptians.


Egyptians.
If search were made among the
papyri at the British museum, evidence
would be found that the Egyptians We're
in the habit of transporting vessels
! overland across the isthmus of Suez,
and it is, indeed, more than probable
that they did So Tradition records that
twenty-three centuries ago a true ship
railway, with polished granite blocks as
rails, existed and was worked across the
isthmus of Corinth, where the construc-
tion of a ship canal has Just now only
been partly effected and subsequently,
abandoned for financial considerations.
In 1713 the well-known Count Emanuel
Swedenborg constructed a road and
machines for carrying laden vessels
from Stromsfadt to Iddefiord in Sweden,
distance of fourteen miles across a
rough country, and the successful use
of this work by Charles MI. during the
siege of Frederil1shall led to Sweden
borg being regarded not only as a ma
tional benefactor, but as a mechanician
of no mean ability for at least CEN
tury after his death.
Az 'NS'NlS bNNl III ill lllt
| above cases We're, no doubt, small in
size and weight compared with modern
vessels. Necessarily, also, any vessel
carried in our own times on an ordinary
railway must be comparatively small,
or it would not be able to pass under
bridges and through tunnels. Within
the latter limits, however, no practical
, difficulty whatever has been found in
sending small vessels by rail at the
usual speed of good trains. The Dutch
have shifted torpedo boats from one
part of the coast to another on railway
trollies, and MIR. Donaldson, the tor
pedo- boat builder, some time since for
warded his steam yacht from the
Thames to the west coast of Scotland
by rail, having of course removed masts,
funnel, and all deck hamper to enable
her to squeeze through tunnels.
nightly Review.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
a simple remedy for ueadaehe.

Many persons who extend their men,
tai work well into the night, or during
the evening follow attentive Y the pro-
gramme of n theater or concert, are
awakened in the morning or in the
night with headache. A Swiss doctor
points out that this headache affects
many persons who are quite well other
wise and is due in part to the previous
excessive work of the brain, whereby
an abnormal flow of blood to that organ
is caused; in part to other causes, for
example, too great heat of rooms, con-
tamination Of the air with carbonic
acid, eXhalations frorn human bodies
and tobacco smoke. For a long time
the doctor was a sufferer from head
ache of this kind, but of late years has
wholly protected himself by simple
means When he is obliged to continue
his brain work into the evening or to
remain late in rooms not well venti-
lated, instead of going directly to bed
he takes brisk walk for half an hour
or an hour, While taking this exercise
he stops now and then and practices
lung gymnastics by breathing in and
out deeply few times. When he then
goes to bed he sleep soundly. Notwith-
standing the shortening of the hours of
sleep he awakens with no trace of head
ache. Chicago News.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
Courtesy to a Guest.

A story, familiar perhaps to the read
ers of the Companion, is told of Mrs.
Bingham, woman of high social posi-
ton in Washington in the early part of
this century. Sne once invited a rough
western farmer to dine with her. The
guest was dazzled by the splendors and
gay company, and while trying ner-
vously to appear at his ease, broke one
of a set of costly Sevres cups. He sat
staring at her, speechless with dismay.
Mrs. Bingham laughed. "Ah, that
ridiculous chinal 1t breaks with IA
BREATH" and taking up one of the cups
as she spoke, she carelessly crushed it
in her hand, and dropped the fragments
upon the table. The color came again
to her guests face, and he finished his
dinner completely at his ease. "Give
to your guest" says the Irish proverb,
'the best in your larder, the best in
your head, and the best in your heart. "
Youths Companion.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
MINE.

I met hor on the Newport strand,
When skies were soft and blue,
And led her by the lily hand
The rolling s9a into
we watched the moon serenely flood
The wayo5 with airy pearl.
Aud Shc was ninc, the blushing bud4- d
That is-my Summer girl.
She sent her card when back In town.
My heart was full of song,
When in her Japanese tea gown
She poured the sweet Oolong,
And when October dyed the wood,
And made the leaflets curl.
She thcn was mhic, though not for good
She was my Autumn girl.
When Winter came IN orders gray,
And snow began TO fall,
took her to the matinee
And to the charity ball.
In ccstacy to music gay
About the room we'd whirl,
And she was minc-that is to say
She was my Winter girl.
And when the Spring, all gold and green,
Hung roses on the tree,
1 met her at st. Augustine
Once moro beside the sea.
We watched suggestive orange.blooms
Along the breezes swirl
She was amid these Spring perfumes
My ownest-Spring time girl.
Oh, still she Is my girl when Spring
Is rich with flower and bird,
And when the Summers on the wing,
And Autumns wall is heard,
And when old snerling Winter his
White banner doth unfurl,
For keeps, to tell the truth, she is
My all.the.year-round girl.
-Puck
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
what 1t Costs to NIurdcr in Tlbet,

I had arrived at Kane in an evil
hour, in the midst of the festivities of
the 18th of the fourth moon, when the
people from far and near congregate
there and the chiefs review their men,
and when drinking and fighting are the
order of the day. In Tibet nearly every
crime is punished by the imposition of a
fine, and murder is by no means an eX,
pensive luxury, The fine varies ac.
cording to the social standing of the vic
tim-12O bricks of tea (worth a rupee a
bricll) for one of the upper ten," eighty
bricks for person of the middle classes,
forty bricks for u woman and so on
down to two or three for pauper or a
wandering foreigner, as Lieut.. Lu
Ming Yang kindly informed me. He
said that there was hardly grown-up
man in the country who had not muir
der or two to his credit and later on
Mgr Biet, the bishop of Tibet, corrobo-
rated this statement. Century.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
Knew the Symptoms.

Successful Faster Dragging on the
cars)-Yes, sir, for forty days not a
morsel of food passed my lips.
Thin Stranger (stepping up)- All!
What's your circulation, exclusive of
dead-head copies?
Faster-What do you mean, sir-r-r?
Stranger-o, don't get riled, my
friend; | belong to the craft, myself!
Where is your paper published9
Faster--I do not know wha. you
mean! | publish no paper, sir,r-r! I
am--
Stranger (walking away y)-Well, to
think | have mistaken barn -storming
actor for an cditor!-Jury
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
A SOLDIERS LOVE.
He Fell Dead an MistaIIing the Prince
Napoleon for Napoleon i.

He Fell Dead on MistaIing the Prince
Napoleon for Napoleon !.
Anent the facial resemblance which
the late Prince Napoleon bore to his rel
ative, the great emperor, Il pathetic lit
tie story is told. One of the survivors
of Napolcon's old guard, who returned
to his provincial home after Waterloo,
always refused to believe that his IA
nous commander was dead, and insisted
that he would return to France
and power some day. One day it
CHANGED that Prince Napoleon had for
some reason to go through the town at
night and some of the townspeople,
thinking to play off a jest on the old
soldier, came to him and told him his
dream had come true, that the emperor
had indeed returned, and was at that
moment passing through the principal
street.
Wild with excitement, the veteran
rushed off to the spot whore the i'm
perial escort was slowly making its
way through the shouting crowd. The
glare of TIC torches shone upon the
soldiers, and upon bare-headed man
looking out OF the carriage window, a
man with the face of the conqueror of
Austcrlitz. The old soldier gave a wild
cry Of dclight-"Vive L Empereur!"-
and fell down fainting. When they
came to raise him, they found he was
dead: he had died happy in the belief
that he had once again looked upon the
face of his old commander.-Chi
I1lobp
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

American Taxpayer (traveling in
EgypD-What earthly use were all
these monstrous pyramids? Why did the
Egyptian governments build them?
That's what can't understand,
American Statesman taftcr rcilectionl
-Mebhy there wor divvy in 'em. N,
Z. WeaS,y.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

"You should not have given up your
Sunday-school class"
81 had to; the boys are getting to be
such big fellows, and they ask such em.
barrassing questions! One of them
asked me to marry him."-Harper's
Bazaar.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
A Failure.

He-Your husband, madam, sent me
to fetch his overcoat.
She Indeed! I'm glad to hear it. My
husband died two years ago, and I've
always feared that he went to place
where they don't need overCoats.-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

was well covered with age, and handed
it to the superintendent.
''This has reference to yourself, /
presume" said the official, glancing
over it. But it bears a somewhat
nntiquated date"
Every true, and for that reason /
value it highly. But if was good
man then ! am doubly so now, for /
have had all those years of expert
ence."
you do not know the road"
"oh, yes, DO, sir. Every foot OF
it."
swell, if you can convince me that
you are capable of taking charge of the
locomotive will let Baxter lay off this
trip" was the reluctant answer
'Then the only way that L see to
arrange the matter is for you and your
engineer to take a ride in the cab as
far as L.. That is fifteen miles,
and there you can meet the accommo-
dation returning here. think that in
that short run can prove to you that l
understand the business"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

n the railway
depot of a busy,
bustling town
in the southern
part of Ohio a
l o C o m o tive
stood painting
and snorting as
if impatient to
speed away on
its journey.
The fireman
was giving his
last touch to
the b ri e h I'll y
nnliShed hra SIS
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
BARNuM'S "BRlCK MAN"
One of the Great Showman's Ingcniou
Attrnp.ipn

One of the Great Nhowman's Ingenious
Attrac' ions.
As an illustration of one of Barnuyn',:
ingenious methods OF attracting atten-
ton to his museum may be mentioned
the incident of the "brick man." One
day man applied for aims to Barnum.
who was sitting in ne ticket office. 70
the inquiry as to why he did not go to
work, the mendicant replied that he
would gladly do 50 at a dollar day. if
he could find employment. Barnum
gave him twenty-five cents to get his
breakfast and told him to return. and
he would give him dollar and half y
day and easy work. When the man re-
turned, Barnum gave him five bricks.
and told him to place one in front Of
the museum, another on the corner of
Nescy street, "A third at the corner Of
Fulton-on the st. Paul's church side
and the fourth on the east corner of
Fulton. Returning then to the museum.
he was to take up the first brick and
replace it with the fifth, and then CON
tinue his rounds, putting down one
brick and taking up the other each time.
He was enjoined to answer no uues-
tions, and to seem not to hear, and that
at the end of each three-quarters of an
hour he was to psss into the museum,
look around ut the curiosities for fifteen
minutes and then resume his rounds
with the bricks. Barnum says that the
man played his part to perfection, and
his eccentric conduct caused a great
crowd to gather about the museum.
Many of these, of course, went into the
museum to seek some explanation as to
the purpose of the "bricl1 man" This
was kept up for several days, until the
police requested his withdrawal, be,
cause such crowds fingered about the
museum that traffic was interrupted. -
Il q Snaad In Harna,'S Vaolyl,,
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

81 have nothing more to say" said
she, as he started home after the re-
lection. II am glad, said he. 81 wish
you had said less. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23

The man who has lived for himself
has the privilege of beIhG his only
mourner Texas Siftings
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-05-23
THE SUBSTITUTE.
"A Lesson That an Arbitrary Su-
Derintendent Never Forgot.

TRN the railway
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS RECORED.
MONDAY DEC. %.

MONDAY DEC. 28.
Henry Schafers and wife to Joseph
M Cretsforth, 1881 a, secs Is, 10, tp
6s1 W, $65OO.
VIM Viethier and wife to August
Will and VIM Wolfer, l a, sec A tip 8
W, $40.
o Gerhart and wife to F ] Strayer,
10 a, tip 7, s2w, 1915.
H Kleingorge and wife to F ]
Strayer 10 a, A Stanton and wife d,
|, C, $3.50.
Strayer and wife to Henrietta
Bartlett, 20 a, tip Z, 8, 2, W, $1,000.
Nancy A Thayer and husband to
Fl A Thomas and g w Watt, 1t 2,
3, bl 2, Ovens add, Salem, $l4O0.
d Fl Lafellett and wife to Eliza A
Kress, 1t 6. bl 8, Frickey add, Salem,
1915.
Chas A Gray and wife to Jennie
Gray, W 3sw4 bl 4, Roberts add,
Salem, $2750.
G w Gray and wife to Chas A
Gray, so #, bl 5, Roberts add, salem,
$4,000.
A w Ocobock and wife to ] G
Reeves, Woodburn, 1t 2, Ocoback's
add, Woodburn, $27O.
j H Albert and wife TO VIM Stai-
ger 3S1 # of 1t 8, bl 80, Salem, $25OO.
Shaw & Dow ming to Henry Hep
ner, $40 a, tp 8, W, $1,000.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

AN INvITATION.-A circular has
been received from joint committee
of the Portland Tammany society
and Young Mems Democratic league,
outlining arrangements for a con-
vention of all Democratic clubs or
societies throughout the state, called
for January 8th and 9th, 1892, in
the city of Portland. A state associ-
alton of Democratic societies is to be
organized with permanent officers.
The ratio of votes shall be one dele :
gate to every ten members. The
circular says: "Where no clubs
exist you are earnestly requested to
form them, even if the organization
contains only few persons, in
order to elect official representatives.
Each man receiving this notifca-
tiOn will please consider and aid the
plan with personal interest and
effort. This action is endorsed and
urged by leading Democrats of the
nation, and the combined work of
Democratic societies in 1892 will be
the chief factor in both state and
national success" Address F. A. E.
Starr, or John Barrett, for informa-
ton.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28
DIED.

SMITH. AT the residence OF Joseph
Miller, al the corner Of Oak and
Fourth streets, North Salem, Dec.
26, 1891, from pneumonia, Andrew
Smith, aged 90 years, II months.
He was one Of the first settlers IN
the Willamette valley, living In
Yamhill county In the vicinity Of
Dayton. He married Sarah Il.
Palmer, daughter Of Capt. Joel
Palmer. IN ls4s. Three children
survive him, A. d. Smith. Mm.
Joseph Miller, and Mrs. Sanford OF
Eugene. He had been living for
the past six years with Mrs. Miller
Ia Washington state, bat had come
10 salem about two months aEo.
The funeral took place. from the
residence At 230 p. IN, Sunday,
the burial being 10 the /. o. o. y.
cemetery.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

SCOw GoNE.-The Geo. ID. Good
nue wood boat, that was wrecked
on the night, of Christmas by
the steamer Hoag and beached on
the island below the city, went off
Sunday from the effects of the
flood. The three lines all parted
and the scow sailed for the Kaiser
bar. The boat people it seems did
not leave the scow in a safe place
and will have to foot quite a bill.
There was % cords oak wood aboard,
and the loss to Mr.. Goodhue is quite
severe.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28
women.

The common aniictions Of women are sick.
headaches, indigestion aud nervous troubles.
They arise largely from stomach disorders.
AS Joys Vegetable Ssrsapariha Is the only
bowel regulating preparation. you can see
why It is morc effective than any others sarsa-
parilla in those troubles It'll daily relieving
hundreds. The action Is mild, direct and
effective We have scores OF letters from
grateful women.
We refer to a few.
Nervous debility, Mrs J. barron, il2 7,h St.
Sf.
General debility, Mrs. Bclden. $40 Mason st.,
ST
Nervous debility, Miss R. Roscnblum, esq
18th ST., s. =.
stomach troubles, Mrs. R. T. Wheaton. 7Oi
Post ST., 5. +.
Sick headaches, Mrs. NJ. n, Price. le Prospec,
Place, $. +.
Sick headaches, Mrs NJ, Fowler. ss7 Ellis st.,
S.F.
Indigestion, Mrs. c. d. stuart, 1921 Mission
ST., &, +.
Constipation, Mrs C. Melvin, l26 Kearny ST..
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

The r. r. SooIAL.-The new
Unitarian church will be thrown
open tonight for the first time.
Excursion trains will be run on
faster time and the beautiful interior
will be lighted up like a palace car.
An, elegant lunch will be served by
the young ladies. 1t ought to
require severe weather to keep
Salem people from giving the enter
prise of the Unitarians, in adding
another beautiful church to our city,
a right royal house warming.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

The facilities of the present day foi
he production of everything that will
,onduce to the material welfare and
comfort Of mankind are almost unlim-
tied, and when Syrup of Figs was first
produced the world was enriched with
the only perfect laxative known, as it
Is the only remedy which Is truly
pleasing ard refreshing to the taste
and prompt and effectual to cleanse
the system gently in the Spring-time
or, in fact, at any time, and the better
it is known the more popular it be
comes.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

PILEDRIvER GONE. owners
of the big mill on Front street are
making arrangements to take their
water ditch out of the street and
build fiume down Mill creek, hav-
Ing bought block of DR.. Golden,
on Division street, to cut across with
the race. Hence the piledriver has
been let go and the company will
ask the council to let them move the
race as soon as they can get in shape
to do SO.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-12-28

The BOUQUET CITY. 1t is not
too early for Salemites to make prep
arations for the annual rose fair, and
still further enhance the reputation
that has given their city the we'll
deserved soubriquet "The Bouquet
City," By putting out slips and
setting out new bushes now, they
will be well enough rooted to pro-
duce flowers by May. Let our
streets be lined with roses.