The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1891-01-07
SOMERSET Pa, WEDNESDAY. JANUARY Z, 1891. W

When you get it to Ssaose, you're farthei
on the way.
| When you get ii to eEpFss, you've don'
what yon wish.
Thinking is sssins reiaiiOs,s, illustrates
by a bottle-foantAin, and by 3 pair oi
stuffed birds.l
The more modestly eolored bird is the
female. the gsudy is the male. TIE
modest eolOrs of the female are the effori
Of nature TO protect the female and
her eggs The brighter coIors Of the male
are for similar purpose, by diversing
the hawk from the nest as the bird dives
from the top Of the tree. Three things
can be done with numbers to wit
Combination, Separation, Comparison,
and only three
The soil in the valley was once on the
hill 1t Was rock. Disintegrstion set in
BY aetion of rain and frost, and the disin-
tegEated rock came down and vegetable
matter was mixed Herewith and to-day
it is the most productive soil of the coan-
try.
Historic thinking IS seeing historic re-
| lations One must see the relations be-
tween the facts Of history or he has not
studied history to good purpose. The
teacher that teaches objectively must be
careful NOT to stay with objects too long.
Announcements
Directors convention in the Lutheran
church, at $50 a N. Teachers Session
al $50 :. N.
Music.
Adjourned.
TUESDAY EVENING SESSION..
Music.
Solo, by Miss Fee Night Birds Coo
ing" Encore responded to in duet by
Miss Fee and Prof Smith, the musical
director of the Institute.
Superintendent Berkey then introduc-
ed the Lecturer of the evening, DR.. Hen
son, who delivered his lecture entitled
Pools" He said:
It is with great pleasure that respond
to any summons from Pennsylvania.
Twenty-Five of my hsppiest years were
spent in this State. l never lived in this
part Of the STATE, but I'm sorry didn't.
| know 10 place in which lecturer is 50
SIRE Of as hearty and appreciative an
audience as be is in Somerset
I've lectured in places where 1 felt as
though l were attending my own funeral,
and l was chief mourner as well as ca
daver lectured in town where they
sat perfectly quiet-glowered at me, and
l covered before them. Nobody laugh
ed, and nobody cried-but me, and did
that in private. Afterwards I met a
friend who told me ne knew the town,
and now, SIX months after, they're laugh
ing at those jokes well said l, the
next time III send on the jokes several
months ahead, and want to get there
/ abs,st tie 49, .iIer --..sE~rstz1d .i----,
want 70 see them blown up.
I've been sorry that / made this lecture.
l sat in my numerous family one evening
and remarked that was afraid that l
would hereafter be chiefly remembered
as the author Of fools One Of my boys
remarked, @Pa, that's hard on rs
/ didn't prepare this lecture for you,
but for my own people in Chicago.
Neither did l choose the subject for this
night. 1t was chosen by one Who. I pre-
sumo, understands the needs of the
/ people.
Webster says there are natural fools
those who are born so ; and accidental
I fools-those who are weak-minded as =
result Of some external injury. This
lecture doesn't apply to them. God for
I bid that l should ever make sport Of
such. de must be miserable, imbru-
tea wretch that could do 50.
One passage Of Scripture reads, AN
swer not fool according to his folly, "
etc, and another reads, Answer a fool
according to his folly, lest he be wise in
his own conceit,v and it is to the latter
of these that apply this lecture.
No grayer insult can be given a man
than TO call him fool Witchcraft has
carried away hundreds Of thousands Of
victims. We think we've got over it, but
only lately in New YORK was told there
were not less than three witches and
one full-blown wizard. The Mississippi
Bubble" was another piece of foolery. 1t
was originated by one George Law.
/ Values went up to fictitious rates the
bubble burst, and Law escaped by the
skin of his teeth. Tae south Sea
! Scheme" was another shortly following
I Then again came the Tulip" craze, orig
mating in damp, foggy Holland, among
8 set of gin-drinking. pipe-smOking
+ Dutchmen- The craze ceased, and thou
sands were ruined, with nothing 70 show
save a few BASKETS Of flower roots, that
nobody would buy and none could eat
/ The oil on the brain craze is more re-
cent so.recent that you all remember it
and know all about it.
Among the superstitious follies We may
reckon the so-czlled Mormon religion
/ founded on few old brass plates, said tC
have been dug out Of an Indian mound
Modern spiritualism IS another Of the
superstitious humbugs Of the day.
sincerely trust that when / am dead
shall not be called back to DO the bidding
| of any woman on the face Of the earth
and l hereby give notice that I won't
come.
But to particusarize, there is the rich
fool. A man is not fool to be rich, but
he is fool if he isn't rich. Some meu
turn everything they touch into gold
others turn everything they touch int
ashes The miser-PEe known a mar
very rich fora miser hope I'll be forgiv
en- for even knowing such 8 man. A
man once said TO him, "Mr. Toney, how
did you make your money - Il didn'
make it l sarsd itD Miser, means mis-
cradle. The miser locks his money from
himself as from thief He lives miser
able and dies wretched.
Many people indulge in fine thing
that they say about people that are dead
A Duichman at funeral, in loss of any
thing else to say. said, after looking int
the grave, ~Vell, be vas good schmok
er, anyhow