The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-03-25
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
Never kick an electric light wire when
it's down.-Bufab Ezpress. /, = -
The saddest words that e'er were writ
Make up the sentence, please remit"
-Ne,o York San. :
A greedy man should wear plaid
vest, so as to keep check on his ston1- J;
ach. - <.
The trouble with the airship may arise
from its defective Chicago Irj-
bune. ,.s5 7
A pretty girl doesn't object to reaec-
tons on herself when they come from q
looking-glass. 3gs =
Cobblers are eligible for medical Dip
Tomas, because they are skilled in the
art of heeling.
A man would do pretty poor fishing IL
he used book-worm for bait Bing-
homton Republican,. 3.
There are some people in this world
who wouldn't be satisfied if they were.
perfectly contented. -Bin9hanaton Leader.
Sanso-"Women are welded to.
fashion," Blood-"Yes, and they love, i,
honor and obey it cheerfully. "-Ne,s
York Herald. '.tzsssz ss Z &
"There is always room at the top;
that's my motto" said the athlete with.
large feet as he stood on his hands -
Washington Post. s
Love makes the world 60 round, but
it finds it impossible on occasions to In ]!
duce the girls father to come round. -
st. Joseph Gasette. '@.::.:;.,i.ss ..:s,.s
"Would you permit me to read YOU
my last poem, my dear young ladyi
''If it is your last really, certainly -
FH<qends Blaetter. s...as
Stranger Gn Chicago)-"How does
your plan of underground wires work2"
Enthusiastic Resident-"Out Of sight. =
--Chieago Tribune. ..qs#T &
The Stop Over Privilege: Passenger
"Is this ticket good to stop oft" "Yes'm. Z
But it won't be good to git on again. -. :;
New York Weekly. ].
A Now York museum manager is try
ing to get up corner in giants. They
come high. but he says he must have
'em.-Rochester Post. Express. .3
It is strange how a man will himself
admit that he is fool, yet if anyone else:
tells him so he will get hopping mad.
right away.-Boston Herald. +
The great men are all dropping out. Is
And dying by the score,
And we're not feeling very well, q
And our throat is awful sore. 3
-Dansuftle Breeze. s.
ssLook at the crowd around the corner.S
What's the matter3' Baggs-"Oh,
nothing, only a policeman killed by an :
accidental discharge of duty. ."-Haruard
Lampoon. .%t i
Coral would wait ever so long for
any man that could love me for myself,
alone" violet-"What patience! And :
you have already waited so many years.
THE Ledger. q
A Drop ia the Market: He-s'Dar-
ling, this engagement ring is worth
$780," she-"The last one I had cost,
$400." He-"You are older now. 80
New York Herald.
The finger of sharp old maid, III
For upwards Of a minute,
Gazed on fine engagement ring,
And sighed: ~ am not in it. !" s
Washington Star. p;
Mustard plasters are very USEFUL In
their way, but there is no reason to be-
lieve that anybody will ever succeed in
utilizing them to teach the children I'M
the public schools drawing.-1szas Stt-s
ings. .
When girl is sixteen her ideal man is. !;
named Reginald. When she is twenty
four it doesn't matter to her very much.
what his name is so long as it will work
we'll on the business end of check
SomeroiNe Journal.
Fair shopper-"What is the differ
ence between those two pieces of goodsf"
Clerk-"One is marked higher than the
other" eyes; but what is the real
difference between them9" ~ just told ]
you-a marked difference. ."-Bufale
Express.
Quin was once at small diuner-party. !.
The master of the house, pushing de-
licious pudding toward Quin, begged
him to taste it. A gentleman had just
before helped himself to an immense
piece of it. "Pray," said Quin, look
ing first at the gentleman's plate and
then at the dish, "which is the pud-
ding7'-Argonant. ~. q
'sWaitcr," said the smart young man,
pushing his plate away from him, ''you
may bring me glass of aqua pura 70
wind up with" The waiter, who had
romped on Boston Common in the guile
less days OF his boyhood, brought glass
of water to the smart young man anc
changed the figures on his check from
thirty-fve to sixty. "Articlcs not down
on the bill of fare charged extra, slr,
he said.- Chicago Tribune.