Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-02-05
WIT AND IIUMOl,.

She-"He talks like book" He
What pity he doesn't shut up rs
easily"
Its very hard sighed the yas.
meter; II always register. but | can't
vote. '-i'uch
Profanc history has pages added to
it at the putting up of every stove
UutcytisoM Nems.
The debt of Nature is one that a man
is danned to death for before he settles.
Euaghanton Leauer.
''ls this old latch-key relic OF your
grandfathers days." mo; of his
nights. '-Indiamdpoiis yourpat.
The longer n man lives the more he
becomes convinced Of the unfailng
friendship OF dollar. -Atchison
Globe.
Next to making mistake yourself
the easiest thing is to critcisc the mis-
takes OF other pcoplc. --Somcrrille
journal.
"Plunkitt." said Durkc,ts, If YOU
had a million what would You dop"
Wish Ihad another, replied Piunki,t.
-PucG.
Never was there wife so near
sighted that she could not discover "A
| long hair on her husbands shoulder.
| Boston 1rnOclter.
Shc---"You are shivcring! Arc yo,
cold?" Hc-"Ycs; | must take some
thing warm" Shc--"lm warm as
toast. ~ Y Herald.
why do you put up that sign.
Hands OFF. on the outside of the build
ing? Because my men are IN a
strike."-- Boston Gu.ttlc.
What makes the world go around?"
he murmured tenderly. Il believe"
she replied. that it is the law of gravi.
tation. ?'-Society.
DR. Pellet cured YOU. understands"
YES" Hes n homcopath. believer"
Yes" Then you are sugar-curci.
supposedly. Y. su".
Miss Hysee-"I was cncorcd three
times. wasn't II" Nine. Logee-.'Yes,
the company seemed to recognize that
you needed practice. The NeW Moon.
"A German chemist has analysed
beer and found it to contain kardobcn-
dictenkraut." Yes; they iiud new
beauties in beer every day."-M. r.
Sun.
A man can have only one past,
but he is not limited in the matter of
presents. and he can have all the
futures he can manage to buy
Rochester i0ss.
bears live mostly on plants and
fruits" remarked the teacher. ''lu
New York they 1.-Two on lambs" inter
rupted Tommy. who reads tho news.
papers.-Isnc@et.
Book Agent to Editor--"Cau I sell
you our new book. Thoughts on the
Hereafter'?" EJtor-"No use for it;
my desk is jam up to the steam heater. II
-Atla,ata Constitution.
Host-'Great Scott! There are thir
teen ut the tablet" Guest" Surely
you're not so supcrstitious as all thatp'
mo. but there's only food enough TO,
twelve!'-Boston 1ruvsiter.
"In what key is that song Home
Sweet Home, writtcn?" asked Blykins
of his wife. "rhe night key. shouit
Judge" replied that lady with affabl'
emphasis. - Washington Post.
Husband-'I see that woman i
about to apply for seat in the New
York Stock Exchange" W,fe-''Wh
don't some of the men get up and Civ
her a t?"-L0WeU Cit.@eN.
Customer-"Oi wan tn see some fu
Gloves" Dealer-'.Any special furp
Customer-"S ur?" Dealer - "Wha
fur?" Customer-.'Tu kapc me hand
warm, o. course. "-Brookfy" Life.
When a wise man said Fine feather
make fine birds" he put q sarcasm il
the mouth of every scarecrow in tn
country to fling at every Bird OF Para
disc that flies by.--Atchison Globe.
John. the doctor says must Civ
up wine. but think | must have on
more bottle even though it kills me.
"AlI right your honor. l will cheer
fully die with you."-F2itgcmde Blattc:
One cannot understand the true DE-
lights of still hunt until he goes ou
on one with an excise officer in Keu
lucky. 1t is then that one enjoys tn
spirit of the sport.--N ]. Commercial
Mrs. De Bort-"Dcar. l think MI
Corral. who recently made his forum
in Texas, is veritable rough di,
mond." Jewelcr De Bort-"rhen. II,
dear. we ought to cut him."-JeUcier
Weekly.
well, Fritz. did you have a goo
time ut your aunt's?" 20. yes. fathe
she took such good care Of me; 81
used to ask me every day whether
was not homesick." - Fiege'N
Btdtter.
Hello! Patching up your togsl
- asked the light comedian. mo; l al
just taking little lay off," answere
the end-nlan. as he continued to scraI
the egg from his costume.-India
apoiis journal.
There is a concert of action as b
tween the man who eats rapidly. Il
man who refuses to support }
raSty's candidate. and the man WI
csca pes from prison-they oil bolt
Binghanslon Lcader.
When we see what wonderful CHART