Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-05-10

~ ss@ changes, and
aD begged paper TO
read. He was asked if he was fond Of
reading and replied, mo" but he was so
much in the habit of asking people for
something, and knowing that a news
paper man had little else to spare than
one of his less valued exchanges, he
asked for that Mr.. X. couldn't think of
one Of his exchanges that he could even
| give to a tramp under such circumstances
as that, and thus give away the paper in
double sense, so he gave the wayfarer a
Chinese coin, twenty of which are worth
cent after one has spent a dime In
getting a hole punched through it. He
seemed grateful, however, probably be-
cause il was more than he expected. The
dilapidated old wretch was unkempt and
weather beaten and he had a mass of
grizzly HAIR that fell in uneven strings
! to his shoulders from under faded, fox,
colored, narrow brimmed, Slouchy and
righteous hat-by this is meant that it
was holey hat. Some jokes need dia-
gram, and this is one of them, also the
diagram. The pilgrim had keen eye
and dirty hands, and he had serio-comi
expression of face, besides his shoes
were serio-comc. One of them was
neat-looking gaiter, approaching dudeism
al the toe, and the other was a mean mon
opOly, otherwise a SoleleSs corporation,
His other clothes were Ordinary-so very
ordinary that it isn't worth while to de,
scribe them. They were, IMPURE and
simple, the clothes Of tramp. He said
that lately he had tramped from Oregon
and somewhere down there, not long ago.
he had asked a stage driver to haul him !
over to Portland. The driver had worked !
OIL the old joke on him about the man |
who wanted to be ferried over a river and |
had no money to pay his ferriage. The !
ferryman told him that man who had |
no money was as well off on one side of |
the river as on the other side But this /
tramp overcame the philosophy of the |
stage-driver, which had been borrowed !
from the ferryman. He argued that
when Columbus started over TO discover
America he had no money, and a woman
pawned her iewelry TO pay his passage.
The thing turned ont well, IL not for
Columbus, for great many other people,
and the trip TO Portland might result in
good 10 somebody. The driver told him
to come around next morning and if there
were not more than two passengers for
Portland he would take the peripatetic to
the goal Of his hopes even II he went to
gaol for it.
This last remark is placed in the shape
that IL Is as a lesson in photography and
definition, an extract from the old school
sequel, SO to speak to show the differ
ence, to those who had not thought Of it
between goal and gaol.
Sunday fishing parties are very common
nova days, and the quantity Of bait in
TASKS and demiionS that is taken along
by some OF the parties is astonishing to
Mr.. Kumlately. When he innocently
asked one Of these enthusiastic fishermen
why they carry SO much tanglefoot and
other condiments" OF that nature. the
piscatorial artist replied that they pour il !
IN the water and it makes the fish so sick
hat they come ashore where they can be
ahmed over the head with a CLUB and
ire thus easily taken.
A gentleman who attended the lepisIa.
i've session last winter at Olympia, was
last night than wives of mem.
'ers and others who attend the social
Ihairs there during the sessions are gen
rally remarkably handsome women. and
he has wondered why this is so. Perhaps
he didn't stop to think that when one has
wife who is not quite handsome. he is
liable TO leave her at home.
Inc Kent Journal has an article on
rearing Ducks" Nearly all ducks rear.
" least they stand on their hind legs.
Mayor Wilson. Mr.. Joseph Blaine and
hr' kumlately were at East Sound. on
Drcas Island, yesterday and the day be-
ore and the two latter pulled a boat over
he beautiful waters OF East Sound. while
he mayor did the trying and fatiQuing
YORK OF sitting in the stern Of the Graf,
md pointing out the way to 20. The
is that the mayor has been
'rostrated from the oyer-work. and
nessrs. Blaine and Kumlately had to sit
~ with him last night, hence Mr.. KS l.
contributions TO the HERALD. under this
read, had to be cut quite short this
morning.