New-York tribune., 1891-02-20
A LITERARY SOLUTION.


She chatting of this and OF that;
Ny heart kept time with the feather,
Thai cung to her Gainsborough hat,
On stevenson stockton and Kipling,
And poets galore she entbused
But how to propose to her, ripping
With music and laughter, l mused.
On this one and that one she tarried
To label their place on the Shelf
"This How to be Happy Though Married:
Absurd - and / thought myself.
sBut those who have tried ii may surely
81 tell YOU she said. it is purely
The tone OF the age to derlde.'
@The task for soIution.' ventured,
Is how to bc married though poor;
know that / ought TO be cen sured
She looking sweet and demure.
OF thought where it breaks into word
ave might" she said. solve this. in order,
To prove that the book Is absurd
.-(Charles Knowles Bolton In Literary World.
According to the last the Church Of England
provided less than onefourth Of the population Of
England at an expense OF $37, 100000 per annum.
Eecdle-I hear you finding good deal Of fault with
others, but never heard you say anything about your
CrcedIe-Of course not. The fact Is. life is short
coming, It's as much as do TO look out for
the quits Of others.-(Boston Transcript.
For a long time the tomato was regarded as little
better than poison. Then followed a reaction. and
virtues were attributed TO il which it did not possess.
And now certain Philadelphia ply scians declare that
Il
of an old lady who lived in Boston few years ago.
After many years OF study and investigation she cams
10 the conclusion that the OF the tomato as an ar.
tcle of food invariably resulted in moral dccadence.
Her explanation that 1t affected the brain in such
a way as TO obliterate the distinction between rghs
and
What is the deepest depth Of ignorancea' % asked
the u, Il is the ignorance displayed
bv "a railway official when there has been wreck on
his road '-(st. Joseph News
Tie other day the enterpnsing editor OF The Buens
Vista (Cal) Patriot made the following personal ex-
planation: a minor part Of press came broken,
and as the blacksmith here had no drill. through the
kindness of Marshal Jackson borrowed the tools
captured from the burglars, 1t required only ABOUT
u minutes TO drill through cast iron bar Ia inches
Thick
1T is really too bad how miserably that new cafe
Is lighted. TIE other night selected tie hneS. OVER
coat that I could find put 10 on and went nome. IL
fitted me as if 1t had been made for me. But whas
do you think found when | got where there was !, .
good light, but that 1t was-mS o""'"-'fHeSe"''
Batter.
The fact that Canada IS not able TO hold Its young
men is strk!ngy brought Oat by The Montreal Herald
Tbe voung men, IL saws are leaving the Dominion
IN troops. In twenty-five counties In Ontario, some
Of them the choicest in the province the population OF
1891 Is less than il in ISL. although from natural
increase it should be much greater
\ satisfactory Explanaton.-"w What did Miss Left
over when she awoke and found the burglar IN her
not much She transfxed him with her cold:
gray owe nointed TO the door and hsScd Leave mc'
What did the burglar dol' ,,,,
lie explained that lie had no notion OF taxing her
-Puck.
saws man who has been visiting Chicago: "The
Chicago papers contain advertisements as follows,
which show the progressive enterprise OF the railroad
companies and the undcrtaers: Funeral train daily
ON chicago and Grand Trunk Railway Polk-st depot
to Mount Greenwood and Mount Hope at IL a. M
.Mount Hope Cemetery. City Office, 3oo Phoenix
RuiIdnr corner of Clark and Jackson Forest
uo,ne Cemetery Funeral train for Forest Home Gene
tery leaves Grand Central depot daily at l. 0l D. n
civ Office 81 Westinghouse Funeral flowers and
designs can be obtained at hours notice at Gal
Iagner's. Tel 2358. These notices stuck among tho
death notices have peculiar effect upon the stranger
who is not used 10 Chicago ways and enterprise Next
we shall see ministers advertising TO conduct funerals
at reasonable rates and the like
Easily Provided For-Tom-Come what may, shall
ncvpr marry woman who Is my superior intellectually
Iacls-I wish could get vile as easily as you eai
-(lankec Blade.
This IS The cynical way in which "The Boston
Transcript puts it:
How pleasant that lady looks She seems per-
fectly happy
Yes: she must either have found pure religion in
her own heart or tho seeds of sin IN the heart OK ono
OF her ncighbors.'
II You see II in the - It's So-"why gre you
50 sure lIiil is the coming man for Piesuent'
-" saw II In a paper my uncle seht me
Where do6S Sour uncle hNe! rr ,r,~
Rattlesnahe GUlch Lynch county, ieAas'-irueA'