River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-02-19
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PlTH AND POINT.

The dude is never so much himself
rs when he is absent-m inded.--Texas
| Siftings.
Popularity is one of the hottest fur
naces any man can be thrown into
| Rams Horn.
The great difficulty about common
sense is that il is so tremendously scarce
| that it isn't common.
How delightfully."- you write about
children. You must be father" mo,
j am a bachelor. Yankee Blade.
-'Place dollar close enough to your
| eye and il will hide the sun, says some
philosopher; and yet the further away a
dollar is the bigger it seems.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
| Out of the Mouths of Babes.-Papa
Come here, Toddlelxins. Whom does
papa love better than any one else in
] the world?' Toddlekins-''Papa." N.
/ Y. Sun.
1--we been waiting here awake
three hours till you came home" "And
| I've been waiting three hours in the
saloon tin you were asleep. "-Fliegenc
/ Blatter.
Mrs. Jones wants you to call, and
she says you may bring some of your
gentlemen friends with you" 80 her
daughters are still on the market
Yankee Blade.
-He-"The Van Alstynes seem TO be
very popular, don't they?" She-"Well,
with three manageable sons and no
misunderstanding daughters, they ought
/ to be. "-Bostonian.
The young man who knows enough
TO leave early, bring candy for her
brother, and make love to her parents,
" II not find the course of true love so
vely rough. Sentinel.
Scene, Newport-"IIow well pre-
served Lord Bawnbawst isis he not a
great swell?" 20, yes! with a burst
of confidence Do you know when he
arrived he was obliged to pay duty on
himself as work of art?'-Broolllyn
Life
Elderly Heiress tsadly)-"No, Mr..
Jones' my he; IT is dead to the tender
passion. The only man ever loved, o
could ever love, was killed at the bat
tie of-of-" Mr.. Jones disappointed
and reaching for his hat)-"Waterloo. :"
Chatter.
1t is said that the secret of happi-
ness is never TO allow the energies to
stagnate. This will explain in some de
/ gree the ecstatic buoyancy of soul with
which an old hen seems to be animated
when she gets chance to make herself
at home in a newly-made garden.
They Feel the Dignity cap
/ tain of one of the popular lines Of
ocean steamers was asked if he would
trade his position for the rank of q
/ lord, and he Indignantly replied: "Well,
! you must think l am half idiot, No.
/ sir, not far any rank under that of
! King. Detroit Free Press.
Caught. Smith, who has just
left our city. told me that was really
seriously ILL.," New Doctor-"Oh, my
dear sir, you must not place any reli-
ance on any thing that that man says.
i assure you he is not to be trusted. +"
"But it was he who recommended you
to me. "-Fliegende Batter.
| -Watts-'Aren't you ever going TO
get tired of 'shopping?' You never seem
TO bring any thing home. Where's the
fascination in it, I'd like TO know"
Mrs. Watts-"O. like to look at the
new goods, you know, and to see what
/ lovely things | could get if | had only
married rich. "-Indianapolis Journal
Custom House Oficer.-"That is
queer. find among your effects bar
rel of chestnuts. We shall have to
seize these" Traveler-"Oh, that's all
right. They come under the exemp-
| tions as tools of trade" Custom House
/ Officer.-"How's that?" Traveler.-"I
am newspaper paragrdpher. Amer
/ lean.
"A man came in here one day." said
/ the apothecary, land asked for raw
she'll powder. He meant a Rochelle
/ powder. On another occasion a Gus
/ toner demanded 'sidelight' powder.
He got it, A lady came in once, and,
holding up a pint bottle, said; What
will you charge to fill this with pheu-
monia?' Salt Lake Herald.