Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-06-04
WANTED HIS MONEY BACK.
A sight Seer in a Bowery Museum Is Dis
appointed In the Fat Woman

- oAkhN ~ III = -
appointed In the Fat Woman.
An old man, whose suburban whis-
kes and shoddy store clothes marked
him as a visitor from far beyond the
city line, was creating some excitement
in a Bowery dime museum. He was
standing in front of the placid fat lady
when be turned and addressed every
one within hearing with a series Of re
marks that spread CONSERVATION on all
sides.
''SeN here, he cried, 1--WE been all
over this place, an now I'm goin' ter
speak right out what l think of ye.
Yer dog faced man don't look M more
like a dog than he does like a meetin'
house; yer Albinos amt got hair no
whittier than the hull Simpson family
up M way; yer snake charmer amt
got a snake that kin do harm, an now
this fat woman here amt half as fat as
Lu Watkins that lives the next farm
ter ourn. Yer big picters outside is a
deloosion an a / might a gone
out an said nuthin' if it warn't fer this
fat woman, but l won't low yer ter
IMP Nt uDQl ALAG GI LII NAANAAA- ANA
pic or of this lady is as big as the front
of er hull buildin', an now here she is
oriy a medium sized girl with the
d-opsy. | tell yer l won't stan it.
Now, what ye gOin' ter do about i'll
RefuDd my money or stan the conse-
kences of legal actionF'
The countryman gazed with flashing
eyes about the room, and the people
present exchanged glances of astonish-
ment The fat lady bridled with i'm
dignation, and looked for moral support
TO the living skeleton, who seemed an
CRY enough TO do bodily harm 20 the
radical rural lecturer.
I'D have you know, you old chump,"
said the fat lady, that | weigh over
800 pounds. and this is the first time in
all my connection with the profession
that / have been insulted. How dare
you come in here and talk soGT
''Ye don't neither weigh more'n 300
pounds" snapped the irate countryI
man, turning his attention 20 the fat
lady. Il got a porker at home don't
weigh that, an hes bigger'n you, an
III bet We on it. An 'spose ye do weigh
more'n 300. that amt a third part O
what the picter makes ye out ter weigh.
/ thought ye was as big as a elephant,
an / tell yeye amt no bigger'n Lu Wat
kins, who kin ride bareback an jump a
fence If she wants ter without dom
harm ter herself. Ye amt what ye say
ye be, an | amt gettin' my money
worth when ] see ye."
At this point the fat lady began 20
shed a few tears, and the proprietor OF
the museum came in TO see what the
disturbance was about As the obese
freak wept the heart of the country
man softened, and he proceeded to
apologize for the severity of his Ian
guage.
Never mind. little girl, " he said II
didn't mean ter hurt yer feelin's. Come
to look at ye, | guess ye air summat
bigger'n Lu. Is'pose the contrast tel
the big picter made ye seem kinder
small. Don't cry. I'm sorry. an
don't want my money back. Air ye
sellin' these photographs Of yerself.
Let's see EN- I'll take one hum tel
Jemima."
The expansive face Of the fat lady
came out of the clouds at once, anc
she evinced the greatest interest in ex
hibiting TO the countryman her collec
ton Of photographs The proprietor
of hbe museum fingered long enough Il
see hat peace was fully restored, and
then he vent out to his Office, observ
ing 70 the ticket taker as he went tina
eff the jay hadn't pulled Of when h
did he'd a got the razoo out inter thu
Bowery." The countryman left thu
place a firm friend of the fat lady
subdued by her tears and fattered b.
her elaborate smiles. New York Cor
Chicago Herald.