Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-01-23
The History of the Yam Kees
AS UNEARTHED BY AN ARCHHOL-
OGIsT IN THE YEAR 10000.
The Present as It viii Look a Few Hun
dred Centuries from Now.

a PAPER READ BY REV. 5. NJ CRorHERs ~
st. PAUL. MINI, BEFORE THE TWILIGHT
CLUB oF THAT CITY.
At recent meeting Of the Twilight club
Of st. Paul, Mimi, a leading social organic
alton Of that city, Rev S. NJ. Crothers,
formerly Of Brattleboro, was one Of the
after-din speakers Mr. Crothers's con
tribution to the evenings entertainment
was what purported to be a long extract
the year $4,000, written by one Prof.
O'Flannigan, an archpologist of some abil.
ity. 1t was given in full in one Of the St.
Paul daily papers
''Our noble Irish race, said the professor
has been so long in undisputed possession
Of this continent that it is difficult to con
ceive time when we were only tribe among
other tribes conteuding for the mastery.
Yet science declares this TO be fact. The
archaologist's spade has unearthed indu-
bitable proofs of the vas; antiquity of man.
Remains have been discovered showing
traces of rudimentary civilization more
than fifty centuries ago. Forgotten nations
then dwelt here. The names Of one of
these has been preserved-the Yam KEGS.
They once inhabited a corner of the Allan
tic coast and migrated westward, keeping
usually TO the north of the fortieth parallel.
Who we're the Yam Kees History is
silent, but philology, archaeology, craniolo-
gy and kindred sciences must labor at this
interesting problem. Phiologists are unit
ed in asserting that the Yam Kees
were of Mongolian origin. The name sug-
gests this. The testimony Of the archpolo-
glsts is in the same direction since the dis
covery Of a skeleton of a Yam Kee. in close
proximity to which was a petriiied paper
inscribed in Chinese characters. The in
scriptiOn has been decphered bv scholars
in the imperial university in Pekin, and
has been found to contain illusions to GER
toin articles Of wearing apparel Did the
paper belong to the Yam kee, aud was it in
his own handwriting /. II so the Mongol-
ian origin of the race is demonstrated But
there is a possibility that it may have been
seized by the Yam Kee in some predatory
raid and have been preserved by him as a
fetch
Another difficulty might suggest itself
to the unlearned and that is that usomuch
as the skeleton is quite fragmentary, con
sisting, in fact, of two vertebra and a tri
angular fraction of the tibia, there is no
absolute evidence that it belonged TO Yam
kee at all To such an objection il is suffi.
cient 10 answer that such puerile difficult
les are unworthy the attention of a CON
firmed archHologist. The best answer is
digniied silence. Assuming, then, that the
two vertebra and the portion Of the tibia
belong TO a primitive Yam Kee, We are able,
by following the scientific method, to con
lecture the conformation of his skull and To
give many interesting and instructive de
tails of his family life and his religious
opinions
AS with all early peoples. the most i'm
perishable records of Van KEGS are to be
found in their kitchen middeus or garbage
heaps. These are the two museums of an
tiquity. 1t is beautiful thought, and one
that illustrates the wise economy of nature,
that the food which our cooks throw into
the ash barrel, as well as the silver spoons
and other unconsidered trihes. are not
wasted. In after centuries they will form
food for thought and he the choicest treas
ures of the wise.
ITO return to the kitchen middens of the
Yam kees They reveal a succession of
epochs each one of which may have lasted
many centuries. The most ancient is called
the bruno-lithie or brown-stone- jar epoch.
These stone jars. which hear the marks of
igneOus action, contain fragments of petri-
fed beans In the same middens have also
been found specimens of an extremely
heavy substance known as brown bread.
During this epoch the Yam kees seem
to have been peace-oving people, as is
evidenced by the remains of Goldfish near
their chosen haunts. The migration to the
westward wrought many changes in the
habits of the people. Along all the lines of
travel there are remains precious in the
eyes of archeologists There are spots
where this strange people, rushing in fran
tic haste from place U place, stopped for food.
The famous Kankakee inscription, discov.
cred near such camping spot when deci
phered has been found to read Ten Min.
utes for Refreshments
Poor Yam kees-this pathetic inscrip-
tion gives us lurid picture of their crue
destiny, and TO the philosopher gives a suf-
ficient reason for their having vanished
from the earth. Near these middens have
been found heaps of flat conglomerate
rocks slightly rounded at the edges. The
reddish transverse streak was formerly
supposed TO be due to iron, but is nov
known to contain organic remains. These
petrifactions are known to mineralogists as
sandwiches, and the strange theory is now
advanced that they were originally articles
of food, sold during their migrations to the
travelling Yam Kees Volumes have been
written upon the condition of man during
the early sandwich epoch. 1t is a period
of intense though tragic interest. How
did man survive Who can tell I"
H., lo,1;ral 60 int, Ia.
discussion of the question whether tn,
sandwich was in reality used as an articl,
of food or, as the older writers maintain
as deadly missile. Much could be sale
on both sides. The strongest argument
advanced by the adherents of the edible
sandwich theory, is deduced from a speci
men found at Altoona, near the summit oi
the Allegheny mountains, which bears thu
undoubted marks of human teeth, but thi
does not prove that the sandwich was eve
eaten, though it certainly indicates that til,
attempt to eat it was made in good faith.
As compromise the professor suggested
that it was possible that the Yam KEGS, who
so far as can be learned from an examina
tion of the fragments of the vertebra ant
the tibia aforementioned, must have been
| frugal and inventive people, used in Ihei
war-like expeditions the sandwich both a
food and ammunition. If this view of tn
case can be substantiated it illustrates tn
extreme simplicity of ancient life.
ut is a matter not yet fully settle'
whether what is known as the tin-cal
epoch was contemporaneous with or imme
diately succeeding to the later sandwich
At any rate the remains of tin cans of al
shapes and sizes abound in the vicinity o
the ancient dwellings. During the tin-cal
period man was the contemporary of ani
mails now extinct. The street-car horse
equus dolorosus still survived. The car
canis vociferisimus-wa through tn
streets The remains of one of these ami
mails have been discovered with tin cal
attached to the caudal extremity by firm
/ ligament The cause of this connection
has been the subject of much discussion
among the learned. The frightful porcu
chicagoensis was also at large, and mus
have been an object of unspeakable terror
"To this period also belongs the famou
inscription found in the Muskingum vale,
two centuries ago. 1t is a fragment of
decree issued by a chieftain called McKin
/ ley or Mckinley. This was probably no
the proper name of an individual, but al
/ hereditary title of honor-meaning tn
/ Kindly or Benevolent One. The decree de
clares a tariff for the protection of iii
| plates No sense can be made out of thes'
words, and they do not enable us to de
/ termine whether a tariff was fetch or
/ totem.
80 obscure has this whole subject bee
/ that in the last century certain ornitholo
/ gists insisted that the tariff was a bird q
| an extinct order. This view was rendere
] plausible bV an allusiOn in AN ancient man
uscript to the bill of a tariff However
after the most searching investigation of a
the strata of the tin-can epoch No remain
of bill or, indeed of any other part of th
anatomy of this Hypothetical bird hay
been discovered. 1t must, however, /
caudor, he confessed that there is evidenc
that the tariff had some connection in th
minds of the Yam Kee aborigines with th
so-caled bird of freedom which is rudel
pictured ON their ancient coins But in a