davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
WASHINGTON WEDDINGS.
A Government Practice Responsible for
Many Secret Marriages.

A Government Practice Responsible ior
Many Secret Marriages.
Not infrequcntly n lead-pencH in
scription across an entry III the mar
riage license books in the Office of the
clerk of the district court reads:
"Plcase do not use this" At first
sqrint such a request has about it an
air of mystery which would naturally
lead the newsgatherer to investigate
But after awhile he understands the
whole thing at Il glance.
Among the many thousand men and
women employed in n capacity or
another by the many departments OF
the government are formed acquaint-
anceships which ultimately find com
plete satisfaction only at the altar.
The government has a confidential
agent who disregards all civil service
rules, never asks for n salary and never
expects q pension. lie is better ac-
uuainted with employees everywhere
than any head of a department, and he
is responsible for much of the trouble
which arises now and then, though he
does everything in good part. If it was
not for this miserable little rascal she
Hllplt loItNNt SoPl iN' i'''S' ~
manifold, dandle the typewriter or
manipulate the counting machine, and
he might forever know nothing of the
real joys of life beyond drawing his
salary and drinking soft drinks al
night in a drug store. But the conf
dental agent, Cupid, intcrvenes, ant
the first thing he knows he is confront
ing Clerk Meigs, who, rs he hands him
the license, says: Il congratulate you
/ have been married myself"
Then zones the rub. The larg'
number of employees results in gov
eminent being spelled with a large
in Washington. That government i
supposed to be run on business princi
pies, and as marriage, by long custom
which has no excuse in reason, FIRE
auently incapacitates one of the partie
, from serving the government longer
. the couple, who are generally not we
OF in this worlds goods, prefer to kee
i. their marriage a secret from the go,
eminent, so that their combine
salaries may be used in giving them
Z comfortable home. Again, the grooi
reasons: "The chief will say: Her
y is a young man who is well enough o
to marry. lreckon when the time coms
to raise salaries we will have to add
the salary of him who is not we
enough off to marry"
s Hence the desire for secrecy. TIL
is only one of the terrors which su
e round the marriage of governmeI
employees, but it is q curious commel
h tary on the growth OF ofieialism
" this eoynigy. - Washington Pest
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

bled out, and y OF THE MISSES.
strayed on to halt again before the Rag
Doll targets. Here they listened with
the same wonder and delight to the
mans persuasive:
"Come, try your luck at knockin' down
the babies. Every time yer knock
down a baby yer get a seegar, two ba-
bicS two seegars, an three babies flee
sccgars."
Pas face soon wears a broad grin.
lie settles his elderly bell" hat more
firmly, pushes back his sleeves and
takes a Shy at the babies.
Down goes Sail" said the man. "Ah!
very near, very near; try it again, try
it again" Pa tries.
That's the time yer done 1t! Down
goes Betsy, Try it again?"
But pa pocketed the ''seegars,' and
| strayed on after his family, who had
tarried before n stand to fill up the
and buy popcorn balls, peanuts and
candy.
They saw everything to be seen.
They stood in the scorching sun with
u%pturned perspiring faces, and gazed at
the man who was trying to climb the
creased pole. They locked with adj
miration at the marshals of the day,
with their red silk sashes, as they
pranccd on their warlilIc chargers ur
and down the village street. They
ever heard one or two words of the
declaration of independence as it was
read in the courthouse square
They listened with OPP en- mouths anc
ears to the braying of the Libertyville
brass band, and they scream ed, and pl
haw-hawed with delight at the pro
cession of "out and cutters" T..
FINAL v, the ''doin's' came to an end
Ma now found some difficulty in per
suading her brood togo home.
At last she remcm bered her bait anc
sad: "Mebbe yer Uncle Tom sent tina
there box O rockets an crackers h,
promised last Independence day"
These words acted like magic. Thinl
OF 1T. There were to be more ''doin's.
The procession started for home
All the small Smiths had sunburnc'
checks and noses.
The girls 'frocks' were streaket
with dust and sticky with candy, thei
'palties' hung down Imply. arr
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

Thomas Jefferson Simpkins, w'o lived
in Chicago, and for whom thir son
7. J. was named.
The whole family gathered cu'iously
around the box on the back porch.
Towser, the dog, shifted at it QUESTION
ingly.
Thomas teEefson ran to git the
Ratchet.
Finally, pa, with a final wrcrch, and
"come off, durn ye," removed the
cover. Great bundles of Roman
candles, rockets, pinwhecls, "niggcr
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
-Wbo an An ~. 1a,ae Of 4 smileP

zwh can teii the value of d smiler
II costs the givet nothing but is be-
yond price to the erring and unrelent-
ing, the sad and forsaken. 1t disarms
malice, subdues temper, and turns
hatred to love, revenge to Kindness,
k1d PAGES this darkest path With gems
of sunlight. A smile or the brow be-
trays a kind heart, pleasant friend, and
a happy husband. 1t adds n charm TO
beauty, d%ecorates the face of the de-
formed, and makes a lovely woman re-
semble an angel in paradise. Farm and
Fireside.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

''Celindy, pears like We wuz a lcetle
hasty in using my hat"
Lord, pa" retorted Celindy, "who
kcers fer yer old hat when a rocket has
went clean through Towscr, an the
best chance we cver will have to
show Libertyvillc a celebrashin tittin'
to the day is burnt up. Its jest that
inter-everything son o yourn done it,
With a wrathful glance at guilty
Thomas j., ma stalked into the house.
The eight small Smiths, pa and the
liberty bell" hat struggled after her,
Then the door shut. Outside, the
man in the moon smiled to himself as
he beamed down OH the home OF the
tired, sleeping Smiths, and thought OF
how they celebrated.
JENNY FAIRMAN SMITH
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

W DuIStliSN
Much curled rs to his hair and VIC.
lently red as to his face he was prompt
ly sat on n chair.
Then ma surveyed with n satisfied air
her long, patriotic sentence of Smiths:
from her oldest "Marthy" Washington,
who began the sentence, to Grover
Cleveland for a round, fat period at
the end.
She told the girls they might wave
their flags if they would set still a
spell longer an keep clean"
Ma then decorated the spencer waists
of her sons with small samples of the
stars and stripes;
Next she moved briskly along the
line, dexterously using the family
pockethandkerchief on each small
Smith in turn, whether there seemed
to be a pressing need for it Or not.
They were now pronounced ready.
Stepping to the front porch ma called
pa to ''Gome in and keep an eye or
'em."
Then she hurried away to don her
best ''sprigged muslin" her black silk
''mantilly' and her "Neepolltowr
straw bunnit' that had been fearfully
and wonderfully adorned for the occa'
sion with red and white roses, and, as
ma said, a few ''choice sprigs of blue
forgit-me-nots."
Ma had insisted on the three color.
in spite of the village milliner's protes
tatious, as they seemed $50 fittin' t.
her feelins' and the day"
Soon after mas exit the doorwa,
was frightened by the Respondent fig
ure of the small Smiths sire.
He wore plaid brooches and whit
vest and long tailed linen coat, iron
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

with its load of
popcorn balls,
etc.
But they had
all S e c n the
''doin's," a n d
were h a p p y
and ready for
u mel Toms
b o x o I fire.
works, or any
thing else that
turned up to
complete tn s
" O n d C r I II |
d a s ''cele-
bratin'." They
reached home.
Ma had Just
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

motiOncd TO the
man to stop the
''durncd thingi'
but the pfopri-
ctor only chant
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

slowly and fixed her eyes on the hat
with a thoughtful air. Finally she
pointed her United States flag hand
straight at it and asked: "Pa, is that
there the old liberty bell mas aims
tellin' us about?"
Pa carefully lifted off what seemed
to small Marthy's excited, Fourth Of
July brain the veritable, patriotic
relic itself.
Thomas Jefferaon snickered and
called Marthy Washington a goosey.
PN smoothed his hat with his sleeve
and hen said, simply:
NO, faint, Mafthy, but mebbe 1t
dooa lech q leetle the shape, jest a
lcetle."
Murthy Washington just had time to
run out her tongue triumpantly at
| Thomas jefferson when ma hustled
in.
Tho PROCESSION now started, with
ia and Inn arm in arm bring rg rp the
rear.
The first Of the wonderful 'tdoius"
this family spied was he Flying
Dutchman" proprietor. They all
stopped on the edge ef the sidewalk in
IL sloping 1.-The, and with opened
mou.hcd wonder listened to his:
Forty times around the California
world for only a nickel, a nickel, a half
a dime. Secure yer tickets for the next
wings
OF course they all tried 1t. Before
they ~revolvcd forty times several of the
small Smiths showed signs of nausea.
They gagged. They leaned their heads
over the edges of tho seats at various
angles. Pa stood up and frantically
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

laid aside her enthusiastically bunnit."
and pa had deposited his 'liburty bell"
hat in a safe place, when Thomas j..
rushed in from the back porch. and
shouted: ma and pa, come ere quick.
The box has come"
Ma remarked to pa that: st was
fest like Thomas. He allus wuz pow
erful fond of dom things fttin' to the
day"
Now, by Thomas, ma meant her rich
brother and "taysright relash!u,"
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

L II L z II p
early. Directly
after breakfast
PA and Ma
Smith and thc
eight small but
Smiths
were to be ar
rayed, as ma
said, FIFTEEN to
the day"
Ma b II stle d
hither and .yon
in much excite
N, q n I. GETTING
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

DON'T use mercury and iodide Of potash for
blood diseases. If your blood Is bad DIR.
John Bulls Sarsaparillo will quickly re-
store 1t to a healthful condition. 1t is tho
best vegetable blood purifier in the world,
aud IL never leaves any evil after effects.
1t is pleasant to take and ~exhilarating, yet q
discontinuance of its use will not cause q
craving for more.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
An unbldden and unue,oome aus.t

Is paih and often It abides with us. for
years, IL not for life. When 1t visits us in
the guiso of rheumatism or neuralgia, IL
may be checked before It obtains an abid-
ing foothold in our bodily tenement with
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, most effective
Of blood depuren,s and anodynes. The
Bitters also removes liver and kidney COM
plaints, constipation, nervousness, malaria
and dyspepsia. f;
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

and dashed the
contents on the
last of the shoot
ing candles.
Soon it was
ended. They all
huddlcd around
the ruins.
Pa looked at
his bent d
~dampcned h a t
a d said re-
prOachfully:
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
Baupe Presses for Hay, straw, Etc.

No Investment will pay farmers better
q poor one will be money thrown away.
The Whitman Agricultural Co. manufacture
u full line of presses that have nc equal, and
are warranted superior in evory respect TO
any in use. They are also headquarters for
Cider Mills and other Farm Machinery.
Send for free illustrated catalogues, circu,
lars and prices Of machine wanted.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

Il prompt return
of your money, if you get neither
benefit nor cure. Risky terms for
tho doctor, but safe and sure for the
patient. Everything to gain, moth
ing to lose. There's just n medi-
cine Of its class that's sold on these
conditions-just one that could be
DR.. Piercc's Golden Medical Dis
covery. It's q peculiar way to sell
it-but it's q peculiar medicine.
It's the guaranteed remedy for all
Blood, Skin and Scalp Diseases,
from q common blotch or eruption
to the worst Scrofula. 1t clcanscs,
purifcs and cnrichcs the blood, and
cures Salt -rheum, letter, Eczema,
Eryeipclas, and all II Of blood
%taints, from whatever cause. 1t
costs you nothing if it doesn't help
you. Tho only question is, whether
you want to be helped.
"Goldcn Medical Discovery" is
the cheapest blood : purifier sold,
through druggists, because you
only pay for The good you get.
Can you ask moro?
The Discovery" acts equally
well all the gear round. Mado by
the Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, at oC3 Main Street.
Buffalo, II. Y.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

out on the porch floor before the w
struck group.
Don't tech en-" said pa and ma as
they started for the woodhousc to rig
up something to shoot EN- off on"
No sooner were pa and ma out of
sight, than Thomas jefferson tried a
''niggcr chaser" This made the group
of small Smiths laugh and scatter, only
to rally around Thomas j. with re-
newed interest.
With an important swagger, he told
them he'd ''show EN- how slick a PIN
wheel went"
lie fastened one to a post of the
porch, and lit it. 1t began to whirl and
sizz. The children capcred.
Just then some sparks tloatcd down
among the patriotic bundles on the
porch floor.
"Whiz! Crashl bang!' The Roman
candles and the small Smiths shot in
every direction. The rockets whizzed
through the air, or plowed the distant
end of the vegetable garden. The pin
wheels whirled, the ''niggcr chascrs'
chased, and the big crackers banged.
The children screamed. Towser howled
and fed.
Pa fell down the woodshcd steps in
his haste to sec 'what allied the burned
things"
Ma rushed to the pump for water.
No pail.
She tore into the house. In her blind
haste and fright she grabbed up pas
liberty bell hat, filled it with water
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

HALF.cuRED eruptions will return. Eradi-
cate them with Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, 80 cents
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

A CLEVELAND boy, whose best girl has
two or three other occasional beaux, calls
her his MARY go-round .n-ColuniDus Post.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

THE original whale was quite q male
carrier, but Jonah probably first impressed
upon him the need OF a free delivery sys-
tam.-Boston Courier.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

ANY one can take Carter's Little Liver
Pills, they are so very small. No trouble Il
swallow. No pain or gripping after taking
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

AN exchange SAYS that rubbing cattle all
over with onions will kill lice, but 1t doesn't
guy what becomes Of tho cattle or the milk
mAid.=Ram,s Horn.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

THERE Is always one way for an Am b.,
tous actress to become a "leading lady,b
aud that is to buy a big dog.-Somefvifle
Inurnnl
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
THE MARKETS.

A GALLONS is probably put together with
hangnails. Dir ghamton Republican,
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

blue brooches
Thomas J. was a
patriotic study.
Seven of the
5 m it II S c e
done ready for
''cele bratin'."
T h e II t h e
G i h t h small
Smith, fat Gro
V e r Cleveland,
was j II m p e d
o y e d a II d
squeezed t o
some long, white
linen brooches
and a berutiled
waist that he
filed well nigh
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

Syrup"
Asthma.

nave Deen great
Asthma, sufferer from Asth-
ma and severe Colds
every Winter, and last Fall my
friends as we'll as myself thought
because of my feeble condition, and
great distress from constant cough
ing, and inability to raise any OF the
accumulated matter from my lungs,
that my time was close at hand.
When nearly worn out for want of
sleep and rest, a friend recommend
ed me to try thy valuable medicine,
Boschee's German
Gentle, Syrup. I am con-
,- fdent it saved my
he'resn'ns life. Almost the frsE
Sleep. dose gave me great
relisf anda gentle re-
freshing sleep, such asI had not had
for weeks. Mycough began immedi-
ately to loosen and pass away, and
l found myself rapidly gaining in
health and weight. l am pleased
to inform Observation-Disclosures
am in excellent health and do Aer,
tainly attribute it to thy Boschee's
German Syrup. c. B. STIcKNEY,
Plcton, Ontario" g
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

WASTING away, growing thinner ever,
box Of DR.. Bulls Worm Destroyersi
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

"YoU'RE just the man I'm laying for" as
the bricLmason said TO the contractor.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

PA TAKES A SHY AT THE BABIES,
their hats were bent out of shape by
the crowd.
Thomas jefferson, their ''inter-every'
thing son., had spilled pink lemonade
outside as we'll as inside Of his once
white spencer. His pockets bulged
with peanuts and candy. Grover Cleve-
lands fat body seemed fatter than ever
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

the a p C of
w h floated
gayly n red,
white and blue
ribbon, tied by
his W Celin-
dy's patrio tic
hands. On his
h e n d was an
a n C i e n t bell
W n c d silk
hat.
e g n I
s m a Smiths
gazed up at their
sire with admir-
ing awe.
That hat was
Fourth of July or
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption.
Cures where other remedies fail. 25c.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

"YoU can't earn fifty cents without
working for IT. says All exchanGe; rue
but YOU may frequently work for fifty cents
without getting it.-Boston Courier.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

DURING hot days all drauehts will be dull,
nonored at this ofice.-Binghamton Re
puhlican
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

TnE murdercr's version OF it-no moose is
good noose.-Boston Courier.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02


Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowelsj cleanses the sys.
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head:
aches and fevers and cures habittal
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 800
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do. not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA FG SKRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO. oAL.
LOUISVILLE, Ky, NEW YORK. H.k
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

her brood ready for an early start to
the main street of L~lbertyville to sec
the wonderful doin's."
As soon as she got one little Smith
polished and done she sat the clean one
down hard in a chair TO emphasize her
instructions, Ma soon had her four
girls dressed in their best lawn
'frocks," u wealth of long-drawn-out,
stifhy-starched ''panties" rustling
around their ankles, red, white and
blue sashes and their Sunday hats"
There they sat, each holding a penny
flag stitfly inner hand, and four pairs of
p~antaletted legs stretched out rigidly
in front of them.
They looked stiff and shining proofs
of the efficacy of mingled soap, starch
and patriotism.
Next ma tackled her four boys.
Thomas jefferson Smith, the oldest
boy, seemed to have been made es-
pecially to satisfy the longings of his
mothers patriotic soul.
His hair was fiercely red. When he
was done up in a white spencer and
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

only brought out on Fourth of July or
circus day.
Masthy W, waved tor aas mara
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02

MRS. HUGH McK1TTRICK,
MRS. FRANK =. BLAIR.
MRS. ALEX. COCHRANE,
MRS. II. S, POTTER.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1891-07-02
HOW THEY CELEBRATED.
The Smith Family's Jolly Fourth
of July.
Preparations "Fitten to the Day THE
Patriotic Procession - Wonderful
Sights and "Doiu's"-Prc-
matrUS Pyrotechnics.
Written for This Paper,l

TA HEY got NJ
Los Angeles herald., 1891-09-29
WHERE is IT?
THE STREET DEPARTMENT IN
vIrED TO SHOW FAULTY SHOW"
Charges About Faulty Sewer Construction
Which Failed to Be Substantiated-An
Inspection by the Council Yesterday.

The Times yesterday called attention
to an alleged violation of the specifca-
tions in the construction of one of the
intercepting sewers on Anderson street,
between Also and Macy streets, and
stated that its informant was employed
in the street department.
The sewers are being constructed un-
der the supervision of City Engineer
Dockweiler, and yesterday that official
requested the council to inspect the
alleged faulty work. After council ad-
journed, the sewer committee and other
members of the council made an inspec-
tion, and found the contractors have
done an admirable piece OF work.
The street department said the joints
were not we'll made; that the cement
was so soft that stick could be thrust
through them.
A very thorough examination was
made, and no poor work was found.
1t is the opinion of all that the street
department is sore on account of the
discovery of the ircompetency of one of
the inspectors, which would probably
never have been known had Mr.. Dock
weller not shown it up.
The city engineer is out with an invi-
tation to the street department to show
him some OF the faulty work."
Los Angeles herald., 1891-09-29

University Place. At 2 80 all recitations
we're suspended, and the students gath
cred in the college chapel. They, to-
gether with visitors present, filed the
hall.
Bishop Mallalien. DR.. Matthew and
thirteen other visitors and professors,
were seated on the platform. After
preliminary exercises Bishop Mallalieu
was introduced, and in humorous way
described his college days, his hard
struggle to get an education. He fol-
lowed this up with much good advice
for those young ladies and gentlemen
who are now students.
DIR. Matthew then called on Rev. j. o.
Peck, secretary of the Missionary So
ciety, for speech, and he responded
with few excellent extemporaneous
remarks. DR.. Peck is one of the best
orators on the platform, as all of those
who have heard him can testify, and
this speech he favored the students with
was no exception.
Father Waugh gave in three-minute
speech some advice to the boys.
The speakers were all applauded by
the students, who enjoyed this feast OF
reason and flow of SOUL"