Middletown transcript., 1891-05-21
BACK TO ST. LOUIS.
ruE AwF1JI, DESTINY OF AN EDITOR
WHO WAS REFUSED BY HEAVEN
AND THE OTHER PLACE.

So far as we know, there is mo-
where a man with a keener wit or 9
gentler humor than Joseph B. Nc
Cullagh's. An eighteen years resi-
dence in st. Louis has not dulled thl'
gentleman's wit nor debased hli
6umor. In the profession Of journal
ism he is facile princeps, and IN OIL
the relations Of private social life he
exhibits vivacity and a benignlty
which has endeared him to all. II
the bright things said in the course Of
a month BY this remarkable man
could be gathered together in 8
volume what charming book that
would bel
The latest capital story told by Mr.
McCullagh was at a dinner in st
Louis last week, dinner given by q
number of his intimate friends, te
/. Colonel J. G. Normile on the eve Of
that eminent diplomats departure
for Cuba. The story was at the ex.
pense of St. Louis, yet it was SO good
a one that neither Mr.. McCullagh
nor any other loyal St. Louisan can
seriously object to its repetition.
Mr.. McCullagh had been express
ing the hope that, spurred by the ex-
ample of her sister cities, St. Louis
would grid herself up to actual en-
deavor. She had been idling too
long. Unless reactionary tactics
where adopted every citizen would be
likely to suffer the experience which
Mr.. McCullagh had illustrated to him
Gas he averred) in a dream of.singular
vividness.
He dreamed that, having died, he
made his way to Heaven and knock
ed Justify at the beautiful jasper gate
thereof. An old gentleman with a
venerable beard came to the gate,
and, poking his head through the
pickets ofthe gate, inquired: Who's
there?"
cit is 1, answered McCullagh.
Yes, yes, so see," said the saint,
+" but who are you p
at am Joseph B. McCullagh of st.
Louis, No., editor of the Globe Demo.
erat," answered McCullagh.
Well, Joseph, what do you wantF'
asked the saint.
"I want to get in there" respond
ed Nc cCullagh.
"Well, you can't get in here,
Joseph" said the saint, with dis
tinct intonation Of sympathy. I'm
sorry for you, but we've got no room
for you. You'll have to try the other
place."
OF course, this made McCullagh
feel very badly; it was a good deal Of
a disappointment to him. But de-
termined not to be left out in the cold,
be trudged off downward and present
ly brought up at the door of-of-
we'll, suppose we call it Gas the saint
did) "the other place"
aNot SO bad as it might be" "
thought McCullagh, as he knocked
Justify at the door. He did not have
to knock twice, for instaneously the
door opened and the leering face Of
the arch fend himself was thrust in
suiringly forth.
Who's there Z" asked the hideous
imp.
"Well, yes, SO | should say" quoth
the fiend, "but who-pardon my
ignorance-who are your"
I am Joseph B. McCullagh of St.
Louis, Mo-, editor ofthe Globe Demo
crat." answered McCullagh.
All, indeed ?" said Satan. "Well,
Joe, what do you wantf'
" / want to get in there" answered
McCullagh.
Satan pulled in his head for few
moments, then thrusting it forth
again" Jce," said he, II don't find
your name down in our books and l
can't let you in"
But you'll have to- cried Nc
Cullagh. "I've just been to the other
place and they wouldn't have me
there; I'm bound to get in here =
NO." said Satan, firmly but kind
Iy. "Tm very sorry for you, Joe,
but it can't be helped. | cant let
you in J"
With that, Satan banged the door,
and McCullagh was left standing out
side, alone, disconsolate, hopeless.
Then the horror of the only alterna-
tive presented to the wretched Nc
Cullagh impelled the awful cry that
like volcanic outburst issued from
his pallid lips: "Great Caesar have
| got to 90 back to St. Louis ?"-
Eugene Field in the Chicago News.