davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
FABLES WITHOUT MORALS.

From The San Francisco Erummer.
An Eminent Pig was Appointed Minis
ter to the Bears and started to his post of
duty. When half way to Bearland he re-
ceiyed letter from the Premier of Pig
onia recalling him.
The Emperor of the Bears, said the
; letter, refuses to receive you, on the
ground that you are not fat enough"
II may not be very fat said the re-
iected diplomatist turning back, "but, -
lie added proudly, II am all pig
A Truly Good Man who had bought a
high office for 100000 was travelling with
the lllustriolls Person who sold it, when
they came to a Sunday school and enter
ing were invited by the superintendent to
address the pupils which they did, to
their own great spiritual profit When
they had finished the superintendent rose
and said; "If Brother Elwood Brmer is
here the children would be please to hear
few remarks from him.'
Once there was Mckinley and the
Mckinley attended protective tariff ban
quet and made a speech.
II am proud to belong" said the Nc
Kinley, ito a party advocated by such
Hayes, Garfield, and Harrison"
Then the spirits of Hayes, Garfield and
Harrison (for all were dead, politically and
otherwise) said ''NVe are proud to have
the approval of the Mckinley"
But the spirits of Webster, Clay, Lin
coin, and Grant maintained so cold a
silence that the angels all shivered.
The First Lady of the Land having
launched warship by touching an cleo
trio button, the crowd made rush to OBJ
tam the button as trophy. When re-
moved it was found TO have been wholly
unconnected with any kind of apparatus
for launching the ship.
But when she touched it the ship
really moved down the ways, " said an In
telligent Spectator, with a disqueting
sense of the supernatural.
'Nessir,' replied Workman, GWEN /
seen her fetch it jest waved my banker
cher and my mates they split out the last
blocks, The wonders of modern science
is way up
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
COMMODORE JAMES A. GREER.
His Brilliant Record as Navai
Oniccr,

OfttCcr,
Correspondence M,lo Porn Tribune.
The retirement of Rear Admiral Braine
will leave vacant the office of comman-
dant of the Brooklyn Navy-Yard The
Secretary is said to have settled upon
Commodore James A, Greer for the place.
Commodore Greer is one of the best known
officers of the Navy, and will upon the
retirement of Admiral Braine, become the
senior Commodore and should Admiral
Harmony retire, as he thinks Of doing on
his own application, would become the
junior Admiral. He has been president
of the Naval Examining Board in this
city since January, 1890. lie is Is years
old, and entered the service in 1913 from his
native State, Ohio. lie belonged to the old
Navy, and has made his way to promi-
nent place in the service by hard and good
work. His early years in the service were
spent on various vessels at home and
abroad.
He became lieutenant in 1855 and a
acknowledgements in 1862, and was
placed in command Of the ironclads Ca
rondelet and Benton and a division of
Porter's squadron, with which, in April,
1868, he made his way past Nicksburg to
fight the batteries of Grand Gulf on April
20. The following month he took part
in the Red River expedition. He was en-
gagged in the combined attack on Nicks-
burg, being almost constantly under fire
during the forty-five days of the siege. In
1864 he was employed in correcting abuses
which existed at the naval recruiting sta
ton at Cincinnati, and in 1865 was in
command of the Black Hawk. In 1866,
when he was promoted to commander,
he was placed in charge of the Mohongo
of the Pacific squadron. He remained
four months at Acapulco, Mexico, to pro-
tect American interests, which were en-
dangered on account of the downfall of
the Mexican Imperial Government, and
his course on this occasion was officially
commended by the State Department
During subsequent years he held vari
Gus commands, and in 1878, was placed
in command of the Tigress of the Polaris
relief expedition. A month after sailing
out of New York harbor, the wreck of the
POlaris was found at Littleton Island,
North Greenland, but the crew had de-
parted for the South in boats. The
Tigress cruised about until October, and
then returned to the United States. Com
mander Greer was promoted to be cap
tain in 1876, and commanded the Consti-
tuition, and later the Constellation and
Hartford. He was made commodore in
1856, and, during his command of the
European station, held the appointment
of acting rear-admiral. Commodore
Greer, on his return from Europe, was
made president of a board having the re-
sponsible work of revising the organiza-
ton, tactics and drills of the Navy, q
duty he held until he was detailed as
president of the board charged with the
examination of officers for promotion
and retirement
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
nhnv. .eNnt I'm ~
From ne Ne1O York CoaGaeR

from me NeO YORK Continent
1t has been noticed that in many of
this seasons marriage ceremonies the
land obey" has been left out, and many
discussions have been heard on the old
question, SHOULD a woman obey her
husband" Evidently this season.
brides think they should not.
That seems all very well for progressive
New York, but what shall we think when
it is know that the poison is beginning to
work in conservative England, too? At
the marriage of Lady Cecilia Howard and
Mr. c. IL. Roberts at Lauercost Abbey,
in April, the little words and obey were
left out by the officiating clergyman, the
Rev, J. II. Buckley. II had been rumored
that the bride would not promise ito
obey and sure enough, she didn't
A London journal questions, "What
does the Bishop of the Diocese think of
this " What does all the world think
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
DlssoLUT1oN SALE
NOW GOING ON AT THE
new YORK CLOTHING HOUSE


Owing to the change which will occur in our
firm on June 1st VIC arc compelled to sacrifice
our large stock of clothing. The inventory
shows $165,OOO worth OF Mems, Boys and
HIGH GLASS CLOTHING
OF our own make As we must pay the re-
firing partners large sum in cash, we have
concluded to offcr our entire stock (fOr cash
only at one-half the cost OF production.
Bear in mind this is not catch-penny rcduc-
tion sale, nora sale of odds and ends, but a
bona flde dissolution sale of the highest grade
clothing, all OF this seasons production.
SEE THESE PRICES.
500 Mems Suits, all sizes, $i,s5; reduced
from SO.
675 Mems Suits Atwood, sack or cutaway,
$3.50; reduced from $t4.
1880 Mems Suits, in Cheviots, Casslmeres or
Worsted, $685.; reduced from SIS.
1890 Mems Suits, in Imported Worsted,
Cheots Dagc1Hls ETC. strictly tsi ,Ln ss
$50 pairs Mems Pants, 30 styles, 81. Re-
duccd from $1T5.
$50 pairs Mems Pants, % styles, $3.50. Re-
1850 pairs Mems Pants 35 styles, $3.50. War
ranted all wool. Reduced from $4.75.
5000 elegant Mems Pants at $3.50, $3.50, s.,
and Sc Including the finest imported material
in checks, plaids, and strlpes)
$50 Boys Suits, long pants, ages IL to 10
years, $3.50. Reduced from $3.50.
1914 Boys, Suits (al wooD, long pants ages
ID to Is years, $3.50 Reduced from So.
S25 Mems Suits, best imported Clay dag
onals, Whipcords, Pinchccks and Corkscrcw,
silk lined and equal to finest custom made,
SIS; reduced from $35.
Attention, G. A. R.-6i0 Atwood Regulation
Suits, warranted fast color, $3.50; reduced from
$1250.
A full line of Prince Albert Suits, Diagonals,
Cheviots and Fancy Worsteds, elegantly made,
at S13, $15 and $40 per suit; reduced from $25,
2S$ and $95.
$50 Boys Suits (all WOOL, long pants, ages IA
to Is years So. Reduced from $l1.
full line of nobby Dress Suits for boys in
the finest grades Of worsted, cashmere and
Cheviot.
1900 Child's Suits, ages 4 to 12, 81. Reduced
from 81
1860 Child's Suits, ages to 10, $3.50, Re-
duced from $2T5.
$50 Child's Suits (all wooD, ages to ii, $780,
Reduced from $40.
Highest grades in Child's Suits reduced to
one-half former price.
1000 pairs Knee Pants, ages to H. 25 cents.
Reduced from 80 cents.
1,g5O pairs Atwood Knee Pants, ages to IL,
35 cents. Reduced from rs cents.
This Gigantic Sacrifice OF Values will con-
tinue daily until June 1.
NEW YORK CLOTHING HOUSE.
81 Seventh st. N. w.
Make no mistake. BE sure you get the right
number. WHITE BUILDING. STRICTLY
ONE PRICE.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
GLEN cove PARK
Cooperative Land and Trust Company.

The SOUTHERN INVESTMENT COM
PANY now offer for sale lands which form a
natural park fronting on the new Electric
Road, now built from Tenallytown to Glen
Echo Heights, which lands are capitalized at
2H cents per square foot, and stock issued at
$225 per share. Each share of stock entities
the holder thereof to one undivided lot in said
park containing onc-hfth of an acre, or STA
square feet, less the amount required for
steeets. These lots, or the proceeds thereof,
will be allotted to the shareholders at the eX-
piratlon OF twenty-one months from date of
first payment by the SOUTHERN INVEST
MENT COMPANY In such q manner as may
be agreed upon by q majority Of shares in said
Cooperative Company.
Subscriptions to stock in said company shall
be paid as follows:
Each stakeholder, for each share held, shall
pay the sum OF $40 thereon on or before the
FIRST WEDNESDAY OF EACH MONTH to
the Secretary OF the SOUTHERN INVEST
MENT COMPANY or such person or persons
as the SOUTHERN INVESTMENT COM
PANY shall authorize to receive the same.
Any stakeholder, at the expiration of six (6)
months from date OF first payment, may with
draw from the company by giving thirty days
notice IN writing to the Secretary of the
SOOlnEhN IN ESIMENI COMGAN1 y, ana
at the expiration OF that time shall be entitled
to the repayment, in the order of the date in
which he ,r she filed his or her notice, from
the first moneys received into the company OF
all sums paid on said stock, with four az per
centum interest per annum thereon; but the
right of Withdrawal shall not extend beyond
six (G) months from the date of first payment.
Any stakeholder may at any time pay the
balance due upon his or her share or shares OF
stock, and thereupon the SOUTHERN IN
VESTMENT COMPANY will issue to such
person or persons pald-up stock which shall
entitle such person or persons to one undivided
lot (per each share OF stock IN said Glen Cove
Park) containing one-ffth of an acre, as before
stated, and which shall be allotted as herein
before provided. Each shareholder who shall
elect to pay the full amount of his stock prior
to maturity, or who shall continue to pay
the monthly instruments of $40 per month
promptly, until twenty-one (2l) instalmonts
have been paid in, will be entitled to four
(D per cent, interest per annum on the par
value OF the stock as a rebate, which will make
the stock cost actually only $40 per share.
No better or safer investment could be Of
fered than this, as there is no possible chance
to lose, and being organized on the savings
bank principle purchasers receive on their
money an interest amounting to the rate Of
more than eight (9 per cent. per annum, be-
sides the prospective and undoubted Increase
the value Of their purchase.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
Ten Per Cent. Reduction In Furniture
for Thirty DAYS.

We are going to move from our present loca-
Seventh street northwest, opposite the u. S.
PostOfiice Department. April I viii gee us in
our new establishment, but until then we will
see all at the old stand, $50 and $50 Seventh
street northwest where, pending removal, we
shall offer our entire stock OF the latest and
best makes of Furniture, Carpets, etc, at 10
per cent. reduction from former prices. No
Rudden's Furniture and Carpet Stores, 930 aud
932 Seventh street northwest.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

One Of the Presidents friends, who gets
as close to him as any one can, is reported
Philadelphia Record Qnd.) as saying.
when the President returns he will have
a plain talk with Secretary Blaine in
which he will tell him that he ought TO
publicly avoW his intentions, whatever
they are, with respect to next years nom
ination. The President is prepared be-
lieve to say to Mr.. Blaine; If you are
candidate | shall not be, but If you are not
l shall be, and 1 want TO know now for
where you stand and then want the
country TO know it,
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
LEMON ELIXIR.
A Pleasant lemon Drink.

4 Pleasant Lemon Drink
For biliousness and constipation, take
Lemon Elixir.
For indigestion and foul stomach, take
lemon Elixir.
For sick and nervous headaches, take
Lemon Elixir.
For sleeplessness and nervousness, take
Lemon Elixir.
For loss of appetite and debility, take
Lemon Elixir.
For fevers, chills and malaria, take
Lemon Elixir.
Dr. Mozley's Lemon Elixir will not fail
you in any of the above-named diseases,
all of which arise from a torpid or dis
eased liver, stomach, kidneys or bowels.
Prepared only by DR.. H. Motley, At
lanta, Ga.
SOC. and 81 90 per bottle, at druggists.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

FLoHlDA
Lands held In reserve for serveral years by
the State Government are now opened to set.
tiers at their actual value.
These reserved lands lie along the eastern or
Atlantic Coast, between st. Augustine and Bis
cayne Bay, one-half mile to six miles from the
ocean, arge portion beng ia below the
frost limits.
This is the only eastern section in the United
States where 1t Is possible to raise semi-trOpi-
cal fruit, and where early vegetables and fruits
can be raised in time to catch the highest
Northern prices.
Much of this land is owned By the Florida
Coast Line Canal and Transportation Com
pany, and bears fine growth of timber,
from which large sums may be realized. The
section along the Indian River and Lake Worth
is well settled, and the land is the most Valua-
BILE in the State, the cast coast being tapped by
four railways, and the rivers along the coas
being navigated by steamboats,.
Improved transportation facilities and de-
lightful climate (being so near the ocean the
air is much more bracing than further inland)
make this an excellent opportunity for actual
settlers.
Prices of land range from $9per acre upward
We shall be pleased to send maps, township
plans and full information TO all who are inter
ested.
FLORIDA COAST LINE CANAL AND
TRANSPORTATION CO.,
ST. AUGUSTINE, FLORIDA.
JOHN w. DENNY, President.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

The society amateurs of Baltimore who
played the Pirates of Penzance' re-
Gently in Washington will give a perform
anco at home on Wednesday evening.
Among those who will appear are Miss
Louise II Morris Miss Sadie Price, Robert
Riddell Brown, Walter De G. Poultney
ard John McKim.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

City ON Saturday President Harrison said:
THE foundation of American life is the
American home. That which dstin-
glishes us from other nations whose politi-
cal experience and history have been fun
of strife and discord, is the American
home, where one wife sits in single I'M
crowned glory Great applause and
cheers,
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
Lemon Hot Drnns

Cures all Coughs, Colds, Hoarseness,
Sore Throat, Bronchitis, Pneumonia,
Hemorrhage and all throat and lung
diseases.
An elegant and reliable preparation.
25cents at druggists. Prepared only by
DIR. II. Motley, Atlanta, Ga
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
CITY SPECIALS.
The National Safe Deposit Company of
Washington,

Corner Fifteenth street and New York avenue
Storage for silverware iewelry, laces, fine
goods and valuablcs OF all kinds. Charges
moderate. safe deposit boxes for rent at the
very lOwpat rntps
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
Sole Agents for the Albany Venetian
nIfnd

W. II. Houghton Manufacturing Company
are the agents for the Albany Venetian blinds.
We are prepared to furnish the "Albany''
blinds in any wood natural finish or stained
to match On Jobs of any Size we gladly send
sample blind for inspection. We guarantee
carefully selected woods, kiln dried and thor
onghly, carefully and properly finished. Our
finish il uncxcelled.
W. II. HouGHToN MANUFACTURING Co,
12lS and 1920 E street northwest.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
our superior Faculties

enable US to turn out the very best work
manship aud most perfect fit in our Gus
tom department, and our stock of inn
ported and domestic fabrics hayen equal
as to variety and completeness. Eiseman
Bros, Seventh and II.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

A man's~ conscience, strange TO say is like
whisky. He may down It,, but ii will flop him
over at last Columbus Post.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
rA,.woAps.
.Al1 MORE = ONO RAILROAD.
schedulc In efrect May DO, 1so1.


Schedule In effect May 10, 1891
Leave Washington from station corner OF New
Jersey avenue and street.
FoR CHICAGO aud Northwest, Vestibuled Lin.
tied express trains II, a. M, Sop. m. daily.
For CINCINNATI So Louis and indianapolis,
daily.
FoR PiTTsBuRG and Cleveland, express daily
900 q. m. and 10 y. m.
For LEXINGTON and points In the Shenandoah
Valley, ti0.40 q. m.
For MANCHESTER and way stations $50 u. m.
For I,URAY, 1880, "S45 y. m.
FoR BALTIMORE week days, 4.O5, 3 90, B35, T90,
7.3O, 600 45-innutes), $50, 800, 1000, As min
utes) 90 o. M, 1910 2.O5, 2.45 (315, 45-min-
utes), 325, d2s, ADJ, d.b5 (510, 45,minutes),
5,3O5.35, eco 6.25, 100 $40, 800, 1000 II 30 and
11.35 p. m, Sundays, 4.O5, $50 500, i5min-
utes), $50, $50 1000, q5.minutesl tt.55 a. m,
100 205, 2.f5 325, All, 4.55 (5.t0, 45min-
utes, SEQ, G25, 1870, $780, 300, 1i.3O, ii 35 p. M
FoR ANNAPOLIS, 1920 and $50 n. M, 1910 and
AIS y. m. Sundays, $50 a. M, 4.3l p, m.
For FREDERICK, t11.30 a. m, s1.15, $780, t4.30
Fon HAeERsTowS. 1000 q. m. and 1880 p. m.
ROYAL BLUE LINE FOR NEW YORK AND
PHILADELPHIA.
FoR PHILADELPHIA, New York Boston and the
East, daily, 4.ub 500, 1000, Dining Carr, II. IS
AM, 245 (5.t0 Dining Carr. $40, d1.30p. m.
. Sleeping Car, open at 1000 clock)
Bufet Parl0r Cara on all day trains.
Sleeping Car running through to Boston
without change, via Poughkcepsic Bridge,
landing passengers in d. a. NJ. station at
FoR ATLANTIC CRY. 4.05. 1000 and II IS n. m.
Sundays d.05 and 1i.55 a. m,
For time of suburban trains see time tables
TO be had OF all ticket agents.
tExccpt Sunday. *Daily. SUNDAY only.
Baggage called for and checked from hotels
and residences by Union Transfer Company on
orders left ut ticket offices, $40 aud 1851 Penn
j. 4. oDELL, CHAS. o. SCULI,
Gen. Manager. - Gen. Pass. ACT.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

Dead languages are not patronized by the
undertaken as q matter OF corse.-BOStOH
CO1JjieT
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

mans idea OF heaven is place where
every one is as good as he is.-AtGhiSoa Globe.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

You can't tell anything about mans re-
ligion by what he does when he knows he is
watched.-Ihe RAMS Horn.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
Memory.

My mind lets 90 thousand things,
Like dates OF wars and deaths OF kings,
And yet recalls the very hour
Twas noon yonder village tower,
And on the last blue noon of May
The wind came brisllly up this way,
Crisping the brook beside the road;
Then, pausing here. set down It's load
OF pine scents and shook listlessly
Two petals from that wild rose tree.
-Aidyich.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

rpho Mo,;nn p,,a L., e,l n;cr,,,, ,,,..o,.a.o
fin. .i ,e,hi p;ttsb r.
r,or,s iaoo 40 hooro ,,,oo. ,.,..,
,ycrv one 10 os rood ne a., "a . tcp;Soooe pIobs
WY '''0 - ~ s'o' "e nv ~ 1i''f'0'" "'o'e'
Deod Iononooes orn NOT no,roriyod IA, ,ho
pndertol,er "a matter ~ cnrse Ros Jl,o
CnSSiSr 90 "'"'''' VI 'o'9e' O'o''"
A mon'a> coincidence STRANGE 10 oov 10 tii,o
whisky, He NAV down II, hui il will aon him
W. ~ ''''' '0''''NO V'''
You con,t te,I AWNING ohon, non.s 70.
,ioion hv ,,bet h" 9ns ,b "ooao miau re-
w5icbedN VIZ Fanny WE goy nv" NC NnowS nc Is
""''"'" no mum uo'"'
After DInner-"And now Edward nrt on
vour dtessinG Gown and yo,,r siinners 81 do,yn
nhie smni5a = ~ IMAM """ ""'' 'o"' ooihloi'-
..Wbnt Won are goino IN LOT mo smoue IN tbo
no,iorS ,nnst ~, So ~ H. iI IA t It
hc faios NUS run owe, 10 toe Cup anu ict
,yi,c Goodhv Senres ~ En, Hsd LOT
R1Jjey Tor he treni,,a poet 'V"' N"'9'"'
eco Antonvoo wonder yhoro vorr bo.,.
await Won. said Cleopatra. ""''' ''"' "Os''
mo tboni,s rntUpned III. Roman ara
rather stav Win nv hostess ~ liz
eyer SEa ,so,h,no,,, n.ho.,,no+ = :. Gao
Gcoroe5 ""' """' ~
He2Wi-will Won mc-meet me next Th--
Sb tsd' ,yiwiIl Georoo - v,,oleo p,,5o
"l'l' ~ "'"'' D'""e'
Mr. srbrrh foPtor n lo,,,, ,,oor,, ,,or,,, ., t;,
enrcsf Good MAY ramp 10 MS
mower: / ind nv wife has not Tctmrncd from
I'M thc "o and t Iron,
Mrs Ipwnmo,ycrt NJ she soid II ,val
nitv Won sbnniJ have 10 tol,e su,Cb n ion, ,,ol
nr',Ie i,Sy cy.nry tin,e a., ,,,ns On, go t
il nnder ~ front dnnr mot Nm YoSI ~, H.,
1ro nooros. +bis &C. ~. o,,o,,o,,,,,,. ,,,,.. T.
hos ,,NijS"airi a. tIt H. 49, S thIis, ~
III W. mact ooain y '""' '7' w" w WIN W"
SbeIT sunposn ibots delicoto ,,o 30 so,
hn5 NO iii ~, S oI '' a., i"u SOm mSnu 70
inc ~ ~ ~ W 'N''''i' O"' w" J0"'o"s ''e"'
'"''' A1'''
An ohtoo, 20 C,r,,otb,. ucoa ,b. s,i.
over tbcTe lie docsnt Know where t' hc IGi %et
Ii ~, ort n,ooi :, uO's" N'''" "noio ny Il Sot
hi SY EoAt snrnriso ma ,to ,oo,,s
.,Ic H.. I'M n. docsn't ,Uny We" ,,h W w. u
oii'e noiie or al 'ne cruz. -D'ooN'5" A'Je'
ST. ca bor,,r, soid .ho ,,o,,,,,, ro.
,oo,,n ol ~ IVA poyyo siu che EHuhS mouse
,iio,v ala Won get rid or ~ np ~ ~ H' "'' 'o"'
,u wv uiu 31u sti1 tlu VI , W. GU
ort W,,S' Go 5suas' Inc anus uroNc 'hcln
o"'' "P'' N"""'
Artbur-r m suro A., storor snol,o vary eot
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

Many Persons are broken
down from overwork or household cares.
Browns Iron Bitters Rebuilds the
system, aids digestion, removes excess Of bile,
and cures malaria. Get the genuine.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

The Marine Band in full uniform presents
fine toot ensemble. PitS6aTG Chronicle.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

No better whisky in the market than
Berkeley, at TharP's, SlS 4 street north
west.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

II is to he hoped that the assessors will moi
tax our PATIENCE Boston Herald.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

Tact is hypocrisy in its most delightful
form. Troy Press.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

Owing to the change which will occur in our
firm on June list, VIC arc compelled to sacrifice
our large stock OF clothing. The inventory
shows $t65,0O0 worth OF Mems, Boys and
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

he drembling)-I have ono last wi-wish
to ask you be-bcfore we part in an-anger for
ever
She tsobbingly) -wha--what is it, Geo
Gcorgeg
He-Wi-will you me-mcet me next TIL
Thursday as u-nsualg
Shc-I wi-will, George = Yankee Blade.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

go, Antony--go yonder where your hosts
await YOU" said Cleopatra.
mo, thanks" returned the Roman. "Td
rather stay with my ostcss.'-Lpe.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

After Dinner-"And now. Edward, put on
your diessing-gown and your slippers, sit down
IN this big arm chair and have a real comfort
able smoke
"What, you are going to let me smoke in the
parlor? Unjust run over to the club and lei
the fellows know what an angel l have for q
wife. Good.by, rest!'-Ft0m F2iegeadt
BIdtteT for the Etening Post.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

Mr.. suburb (after long, weary tramp to his
nearest neighbor)-Good evening, Mrs. Lawn
mower; find my wife has not returned from
her shopping trip to the city, and the house is
Mrs. Lawnmower-No.o, She said IL was n
pity You should have to take such n long walk
for the key every time she was out, so she put
II under the front door mat-NelO YORK IIeekkN.
The Critic and record., 1891-05-12

Hc-Dearest this is our engagement ring 1t
has "Alizpahn in it--that is, "God be with you
till we meet again.
She-I suppose that's a delicate way OF say
ing that whenever you're around you want to
have me all to yourself Oh you Jealous crea-
ture.-Life,