Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1891-06-13
PITII AND POINT.
Closed until tho falI-Tho oyster.

Closed until the fall-Tho oyster.
Money is king, but that doesn't pre-
vent it from being an interesting sab
iect.
There is a constantly growing demand
that other people be good.-Aiotis5a
Glo6s.
Gazzam-''It is so hard to be poor.p
Maddox--"Ard yet great many people
accomplish it."
A man down 10 Indiana is so lazy that
he won't ever labor under an impression.
- Detroit Free Pres.
The butcher is no gambler but he is
always ready to steak the lucky board.
ing-house keeper. Tergs SifyiBgs.
OF all the fortunes known 60 man,
The greatest we assert.
Is 20 have fifteen collar
Upon "A sixteen shirt
DRY Goods Chroaicic.
Grocers are better men than milkmen.
The latter always take water, but tho
former have lots Of sand. Tcrn Sit
ing.
1t is the person who INDUCES ia sharp
and pointed remarks that has the reputa-
ton OF being blunt speaker Bosioa
Transcript.
He--'why do you yawn, lovef L
am here She-''Wel, you see, dear,
VIC are one, and I'm bored az being alone"
Boston Beacon.
The hen-peoked husband who misses
a train he has promised his wife to re-
turn on 'catchesn when he gets home.
- Boston Courier
Dinklo-'I had a rafting good time
last night" Tinkle-,'S Shouldn't Won
der; you were pretty wcll ratified whom
you came home
"What queer things do come to pass
in this worldl" sighed the counterlcit
expert, as he rejected another bic OF
queer money. CAieago Light
With the under dog iu the canine scrap
lis well 20 sympathizs
But place your bets on Che other pup
Therein discretion lies
Indianapolis Journal
"Maudie. would you want to marry
man with title'" "Oh, don't know;
IL he had a title to several good apartment
houses ! shouldn't mind '-Nsg York
Ne,es.
"Half a loaf Is better than no bread,
my son. said the boys mother
''Fathor didn't seem to think SO the lqsl
time you baked, replied the young hope
full. -Nco York Sun.
oaicor-"Giye an example showing
how soldier, even IN times Of pence,
may show himself courageousf Re-
cruit-"By complaining Of his supe-
riors. ~ Chieago Neies.
Minister ION Sunday, 20 Tommy who
is about to 60 a.iishing) -"Why are you
digging worms to-day, my sohf" Tommy
- Cause yer can't get many tnoutyer
do digp'- Boston HsrlH
The author had just gotten hs Mss.
back from the publishers when be re-
marked "This business isn't remarkable
for large profits, but u certainly shows
quick returns - Boiioa Pest.
al tell you, said Murray Hill,
"theres an Undesirable sense Of Luxury
in lying in bed and ringing ones bell Tor
his valet" "You got q yaletf" ''Noi
but I've got bell ~ NcS York Naes
Exclaimed the angler 10 tho trout
your playing with tha bait no doubt
Is cunning a. ts pat,
But when you come 20 bite the sans
wish 70 pointedly exclaim,
I draw the line at that
s'Professor's Wiie-"Ilow came y0u
to 50 highly recommend that tough old
goose you sent me last wcekl' Butcher
Woman-"Oh, did that just because it
had grown TO be such discreet animal. =
Chioa5o Ne6s
"One thing I like about our new
man, said member Of the firm 20 his
partner, sis that he's reliable. You can
always tell what he is going to do next 2
"And what is thati' Nothing ~
Washington Pest.
When a man has devoted brain power
and energy to putting q handsome polish
on his shoes it wounds him 10 hive the
first bootblack he meets look W indis
criminateIy INTO bis face aud say "shlne,
sir "-s omsrpiue journal
Mille-'1 don't mind marrying you,
Clarence, but hate the idea q giving
ID my fifteen -dollara-wces JOB 40 tho
store Clarence--"Then don't give it
Up, dearest I'll give up mine. I'm
getting only 500 Chtcago Tribune
Look, Adolph, your tailors sitting
over there" Don't attract bis allen-
ton" "Ain't sou getting on well to-
gefher7p "Yes, but don't want % em-
barrass him. He owes me reeeipted bills
for two suits Of clothes. Fiisgeads
Blastter.