The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-22
sUNFlowER s1LHoUErrEs.

FeHer VIII PROBABLY i've III n4SUOIy WIN
Lady Godiva.
Luther Challis never went hunting o.
fishing in his life.
Kansas would like to forget Senator
PETER, still she can't recall him.
A question you can hear in every store
"What are you going 10 get him"
Under the high state of cultivation thai
Belgium is, Kansas would have $4,000, ,O0(
people.
The cave near Hannibal No, which
Mark Twain made famous in Tom Saw
yer" is now the site of brick kiln.
If you are in politics and out of Office,
and are not being mentioned for anything
just now, you do not amount to much.
Susan B. Anthony, Rev. Annie Shaw
and several other advocates OF equal suf
frage will hold thirty meetings in Kansas
during the winter.
Ebenezer Closefist Of Wellington told
some friends the other day that he was
going to send his daughter to singing
school and make bella donna out of her.
Cliff Baker would like to run for secre-
tary of state next year, but 1t IS doubtful
whether State Printer Snow is competent
to run the state printing office by himself.
A western Kansas schoolmarm, after
reading patent medicine advertisement,
came to the conclusion that the doctors
were an illiterate set because they pro-
nounce 'cuticura" harmless.
There is cane contest in Atchison. A
cane is to be given to the most popular
man In town, the question to be decided
by popular vote. John j. ingalls, is the
forty-frst in the list with 2l3 votes. The
highest number is 5,3l2.
Tom Ryan is the best paid minister of
the United States in the world. He gets
ST 900 year, which is as much as the
English, German and French ministers,
but his station demands smaller expendi-
lures, and the $1,000 is worth 81, 900 in
Mexican money.
The Irish historian. Lecky, says that
the great power of the journalist lies in re-
iteration This will be rather hard to
crowd down into the craw of the Kansas
editor who has printed that line in vain:
Delinquent subscribers must pay up"
Bashore. the Alliance judge, Is out at
Pratt studying law with all his might. II
Kansas is to elect any more Alliance
judges, the time between the election and
the assumption of the jud ermine
should be extended to include at least one
term in law school.
1t is said of Kansas man, who must
have lived in Atchison and known Ed
Howe, that after mourning dead wife for
years and years, he one day discovered a
diary in which she confessed that she did
not love her husband. but another lover OF
her youth who had Tilted her
What has become of the Kansas editor
who used to use the word ''absquatulate"
The Peoples party is out of funds, not
having enough to pay the expenses OF the
delegates to the Indianapolis convention.
The third party is in hard lines when it
has no other treasury but the sub-treas-
ury.
Smith: "Can you conceive of any greater
misfortune than that of Beethoven's, who
became entirely deaf and could not hear
single note of his beautiful music? or OF
an inspired painter to suddenly turned
stone blind2 Could there be a greater
Jones: Oh, yes. Think of an Alliance
orator being stricken with lock-jaw."
Kansas has bad attack of Office mania.
There are LOG counties in the state; each
elects six officers, or altogether
536 officers; there are ten candidates for
the nomination for each place in three
parties, which makes 10000 aspirants.
There are twice as many candidates for all
The deputyships, which aggregates 6OOOO-
10. 900 men, a hungry horde itching for
public honor. And this, too. not in legls-
ative and state election years.
The toughest railroad in Kansas is be
tween Holiday and Leavenworth. This is
he road over which prisoners destined for
,he penitentiary go, and it makes that
dreadful institution rather welcome to the
shaken and tossed unfortunate. Bill Nye
1nce had occasion to use it. They had run
along for some distance at the old rate,
when suddenly the train settled down and
IAN along skimmingly. Conductor"
questioned the humorist, what makes
ler run so smoothly"
''Humph," said the conductor, 1--WE are
IF the track now."
Kansas is great on alphabetical lore. II
sometimes pervades whole families. The
olIowing conversation for example. Two
men meet.
'Good morning How is the f. A. L UP
Splendid. Aud the f. NJ. B. A. I"
Cali right Is your wife at the W. G.
T. UP"
''No, down at the E. s. A, and your
yife2"
Just taken Bobby down to the Y. NJ
:. A"
"Going down to the n. R. P A."
"No. Twas going after my daughter at
,he Y. w. S. c."
"Well come down to the A. A. S. r.
.ooms in a half hour want 20 talk to
you concerning some business pertaining
o the K. II. T. A"
And a student Of Egyptian hero
standing near, swoons.