The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-17

A mule would rather hear himself bray than
listen to any other music. good many
people arc built like him.-Juactt0n Ctty
(ItIdS) Buttetin.
The historic Desdcmona 'loved not wisely,
but too wcll.n The modern Desdemona loves
not well, but too wlsely.-NeO York Herald.
Chollie (singipg)--IIow can leave theeY
Ethel (coldly)-Tbe front door Is still doing
busness ~ the old stand Try that.
Cora Bcllows-1 believe you would be true
to n wife.
Jake Jimpson (dcllghtcdly)- do yoa
think SOY
Cora (yawning)-Ycs. You would never
leave hcrt-NeW York Heidld.
The editor of the Blllvllc Banner delivers
himself OF the following:
IL not likely that any paper Will be Issued
from this Office next week. Seven of our poor
relations have arrived Whom the Lord lovctl
lie chastencthl
Mrs. Towne-How did you like the playf
Morris Towne-Don't know anything about
1t. Could see nothing but women's hats.
Mrs Townc greatly intcrcsted)-Oh, do
tell me how some Of them were trimmed
Puck
Mildred Oh, Maud, have been dying ever
since the night OF the masquerade to ask yol
who that man was that You were with.
Mand-Why, didn't you know that was the
man I'm engaged toY
Mlldred--Weil, what in the world possessed
him to wear that frightfuliy ugly masky
Maud-lle didn't wear any mask.-Bostoa
Courier.
Mics Neverpay-Why does paw look so glum,
mawy Did the bank he keeps his money In
failf
Mrs. Neyerpay-Worec. The bank he is sup
posed TO keep his money in didn't fall.-Go0d
Ntws
Speaking OF Gripper, Brown was saying that
he was the closest-fsted man he ever knew.
why" says Brown, ''hes Just the kind OF II
man 10 give serpent II q wayfarcr asked him
"You wrong him there" interrupted Fogg,
| who never win hear an absent one mallgnel;
| "you wrong him there. I'm willing to admit
sure he'd never sguahder q serpent on a
stranger. " Boston Transcript
Bobbins--What makes old Bullion, tho mill
| iOnairc, dress so shabbllyy
| IiObbns-Iridc OF station
Flows thati"
"Ile's afraid of being mistaken for Clerk
| NtW i0ik Weekly
| Lcnderman-W Well, MIR. nlchspouse, did yon
| speak TO your wife about that money wanted!
You said you could raise the wind IN that way
| Richsponse-Wel did-but that's ALI
I.endermau-W What's ally
Rcbspouse-1h he wndl-NtW York Heidld.
"IIoll TO pay and no pitch hotln il q corrup.
| tlOn of n nautical expression, "liull 10 pay"
| 10 pay, IN sailors pnfuhcOlOgy, mehHs " luy
hot tar on the seams or Joints In u vessel.
When the 'hull,n or body, OF tho vessel was %
| he thus covered II was great job, and II the
tar was not sufficiently heated much time would
he required. Hence the dilemma, "liull topay
and no pitch hot"
Miss Newly Rich (showing her father her first
ball dress) s)-~What do you think OF IL, papaf
Mr. Newly Rich Beautiful, my dear, beantl-
ful; it'H shame to hide such beautiful under
clothing. Now run and get your drcss on or
yonll be late for the ball BTO0kiyA LUe.
In the Bombay Gd:tHe appears thlp para
graph announcing In all seriousness the death
of Il prominent young merchant;
"Alasl he IL gone; gone far from ~ 70 tha
future world, leaving hls beloved rlb ana pei
children to The tender merclos OF friends 10 ha
moan his loss In the twlnkling OF an oye
Death pounced upon him and he was no more
Ills soul, severed from his clayey tegumeut
must have been borne away. lie WAS loving
husband, a kind father an amiable friend, and
In word, he was fat, fair, aud forty"
what's the Use of Being Rich.
Well, this II the worst OF shocksl
II people OF wealth and ease,
Who pay for an opera box,
Can't talk as much the please
While the curtain = up ON the evening show,
What's the uso OF their wealth we wodld ik
10 knowY