River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-01-08
plTH AND POINT.


There are two things that always
make man dream-mince pie and love.
-Atchison Globe.
Youthful Customer-"Do you shave
up or DOWN." Barber-"Well, in your
case. cir. I'll have to shave down"
The world is full of poets who
never wrote a line" says an exchange.
Very we'll; lot it remain so.-Ram's
Horn.
-"Have you license?" asked boy
of wheelman. "a license?" asked the
bicyclist, in establishment what dol
need license for?" ITO pedal"
"Wir these goods wash?"
Epstein (injuredly)-"Vash? Wash?
Mine friendt, dose goods would stand a
Turkish bath efery morning"-Aineri-
can Grocer.
There is no alarm clock like six
months-old baby. The only trouble
with the baby is that you can never
tell when the blamed thing is going of.
-Somerville journal.
-Tangle-I hear that your next-door
neighbors have a very good organ Do
you know how many stops it has?"
Bronson-'0nly about three day, and
those are not very long ones. brooklyn
Light
Better Not-Junior partner-''Smith
IS doing remarkably we'll of late. /
think we must compliment him upon
his work" STANDARDIZATION not; he
might ask for raise of pay."-Yankee
Blade.
-Ethel-"How do you manage to dis
tinguish the men you wish TO marry
from those who really love you?" Maud
Those who really love me make such
awful fools Of themselves."-N Y.
Herald.
-Chappie-"There goes Miss Mont
gomery. cut her dead" Chollie-"Aw,
what did she do?" Chappie-"Dwedfu
bad form, don't cher know? She wore
tea gown the other night while she
drank coffee.
-Newsboy-"Yer'sy yer evenin' paperl
All about the robbery! One cent"
Haicede Gimme one. (After careful
reading): Guess the kid was right. l
have been robbed OF one cent Indian
apolis Journal.
Tramp (facetiously)-"C you
gimme bite to eat. mister? I've been
travelin' on half-fare from the last viii
lage." Farmer-''Waal, We kin continue
your trip without any fare of mineT-
Harper's Bazaar.
Briggs -"Have you heard the latest?
Robinson has eloped with a chamber
maid" Griggs-"Heavensl What made
him do that?' Briggs-"I understand
she brought him an extra towel when
he asked for it--Brooklyn Life.
81 might remark" said the young
man who had met with persistent and
repeated refusals, that you are one Of
"Why?" Because you seem to mo-
every thing. Washington Post
Thirteen Months. -He-''That noe
turne was beautifully executed, Miss
Edith. May l ask how long you have
been practicing Chopin" She-"Ohl
let me see; began about month be-
fore poor Aunt Maria went crazy, and
she's been in the asylum year. Dem
orest's Monthly.
Mrs Wickwire-"At the meeting OF
the sisterhood last night we decided to
each give ten per cent. OF her income to
charity" Mr.. Wickwire-''Well, that
is very praiseworthy resolution, my
dear" Mrs Wickwire-'T think so; and
after this when ask you for dollar
don't you think you ought TO give me a
dollar and ten cents?"-Indianapol
Journal.
These Women-"You are looking
rather sour this morning, Jack" II
had a little quarrel with my wife before
coming out" There's no getting
along with some of these women.
| Breakfast later" mo, she wanted me
to give her twenty-five dollars to buy
herself winter jacket" And you
couldn't give it to her?" mo; I've
| got only fifty dollars for my own over
coat"-Cape Cod Item.
-Forestalling Him. Hello, Shad-
bolt! Fine day, isn't it? Speaking of
the weather, by the way "Yes, |
know, Dinguss. Speaking of the wealth
er, Old Probs says there is going to be a
change, and, speaking of change, re-
minds you that you came away from
home this morning and left your pock-
etbook in your other clothes. So did /,
Dinguss: so did !. 1T won't work this
! time. GoodmOrning, Dinguss. Chi
/ 49,