Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-01-11

wealth of metropolitan commerce In them
bells that ring out boldly and triumphantly
the joy and happiness Of the few and then,
dying away over the slopes and meadows
and through the woodlands in q million
broken, quivering sighs and sobs, echo and
re-echo the never ceasing wall OF the many.
No, indeed; your old cow-bells were useful,
but belong to the era of the Jumper" and
charivari.
It's Fun. but It's Costly.
And then look at these people. Are they
not alone worth the s. per hour? There are
not less than 10 900 of them now circling
about this park. Harlem and Seventh ave-
nue. and-well, Charley White's-somehow
they range up breathlessly alongside of the
cutter. You have just recently found out
that your $40 cutter is drawn by $500
horse, and are feeling quite elated at tine
style in which the combination trotted
around nine-tenths of the best outfits on the
road. The feeling increases as you get the
Ice out of your mustache, and get more toddy,
and you step to the window and behold the
animal under his big blanket and the boy
In his ragged summer jacket at the bride as
If you owned both of them, and would like
to sell the boy.
Then you remember the bill again, and
break up an interesting and timely conver-
sation between your city man and the bar
keeper about the corkage at Gomez Island
last summer, by suggesting that the horse is
taking cold. Within the next ten minutes
you are landed on the porch of the popular
road tavern that overlooks Grants tomb at
the head of Riverside Park.
Something Wrong Up Above.
There Is vague notion that can scarcely
be said to have lodged in your mind, but is
slipping around loose there where your
mind usually does business, that you nearly
run over somebody or something as you
came flying across Harlem, but your friend
says there's nothing in it, further compli.
eating your line Of thought by ordering
toddy for both you and himself and the
cashier and head waiter. You gaze out of
the glass side of the restaurant at the noble
Hudson full OF floating ice, and swear that
1t is the most magnificent sight in the world,
and believe it. City man says something
about the American Rhine, which suggests
to you Uncle Toms Cabin and Fred Doug
lass crossing into Canada on the crunching
ice.
The head waiter breaks in on the discus
sion with the point as to whether you'll have
your oysters small or medium. You brace
up sufficiently to say you'll take quart OF
Pom. Sec. frap. This brings up narrowing
ing which the several hundred cubic miles
OF ice continue to float calmly down the
river toward the sea. By this time there are
at least four walters buzzing around you.
You eat, you drink, you are merry. You
never had SO much fun sleighing in all your
life.
Speech Fast and Furious.
The confession that your old-time Jump
er" and spelling school never could hold
penny taper to this is wrung from you before
you reach the end of the bird and bottle.
This is great You swell up visibly with in
formation on various topics, which you de-
sire to impart to anybody who will listen;
and when nobody will listen you feel that
you may burst. But your city friend is an
unconscionable egotist, and will not give you
chance to talk about yourself The second
bottle is pretty well under way, and your
city man is making speech to the tour
walters and the cashier-a right good speech,
too, it must be. because the walters laugh.
You know you have never been able to make
a waiter laugh.
At this point singular phenomenon oc-
ours. Every one of these walters has four
legs. Funny you hadn't noticed it till now.
You never saw one with more than two be-
fore, and even these two seemed to be cork 30
far as hustling was concerned. This is en-
barrassing, but you forget it in some indig-
nant remark OF your city friend about the
proposed removal of Grants body, whereat
the walters applaud vigorously. City man
pauses to give each>one of his audience a
quarter. You detect in this the secret of his
post-prandial eloquence.
When 1t Becomes Memory.
While this is going on the head man saws
something about time to shut up for the
night, and, with growing consciousness
that your last cigar IL rather too strong for
you and that the walters legs had suddenly
Increased to seven or eight, you are bundled
into the red cutter and are soon plowing
fercely along the banks of the Hudson
toward the great city.
That is all you remember-till about 10
o'clock next day. AT that hour you awake
in your own bed and have right smart job
OF it to convince yourself that you went
sleighing the dav before, and that it isn't a
dream. The half smothered sound Of bells
rings ih your head and hurts you. Horses,
yellow and red plumes, old-fashioned jump
ers and bobs, walters, with thousands Of
legs. float indiscrimInately across your men
tai vision. The stern logic Of headache is
alone irrefragable. When 1t is supported
by 500 shortage you know to a moral, as
we'll as physical certainty, that you have
been out somewhere with somebody and
probably had some fun according to the ac-
cepted metropolitan standard. When you
meet your city friend later and receive
the intimation that your share of extra time
for horse and sleight is $40 80, you draw a
check without a remonstrance-you are SO
awfully glad that horse and sleigh got home
at all. Then you realize what it costs to 90
sleighing in New York, and wisely resolve
to make that experience do for the rest of
your natural life.