Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1891-12-31
TEMPERANCE NOTES.
GAVE HIS HAIR FOR DRINK.

w
some twelve years ago" said COM
mission man to two or three friends
who were enjoying cigar in his once
the other day: zone of the first young
fellows met here was Jim McNerney.
That wasn't his name, but | call him
| Jim because his name was John, and
McNerney is near enough his name SO
that those who knew him at all will
easily recognize him by the story am
about to tell
Il haven't thought of Jim before for
a long time. and the way happened to
think of him to-day, the day before
Thanksgiving, is that this little Incl
dent happened on Thanksgiving day
AS You all know. we don't usually get
much cold weather here before
Thanksgiving, and many of us who
came from the east and were in the
habit of making Tom and jerry a
Thanksgiving drink were apt not to
be able to find it on tap at the usual
places where such drinks are dispensed
on that day. But on this particular
Thanksgiving we had had few days
of cold weather with snow just previ-
GUS, and on coming down to the office
after breakfast thought would stop
in at Bishop& Christie's and see If |
couldn't find fresh bowl of the steam
ing decoction. Sure enough, occupying
the place of honor in the center of the
bar was the big bowl of golden
custard, and | was just about to drink
down liberal sized mug when who
ebo,.l1 nall ~ h,.f lin
"Now. Jim was considerably addic-
ted to the flowing bowl In fact, he
was noted for getting hilariously in
toxicated and kicking in the Office
door and demolishing things generally.
After each of these sprees he would
register solemn oath never to get full
again, and just SO sure when the
proper time came around he would do
the same thing over again.
well, as | said, in came Jim and of
course had to invite him to drink,
which he did with great gusto, and as
was his usual custom he struck me for
a dollar, for Jim was constitutionally
broke. | gave him a dollar and
went out and thought no more about
him. About midnight, just after had
returned from little whist party, the
door bell rang and / was called to the
door. There / confronted big police
man, who told me that friend of
mine by the name of McNerney had
been arrested for creating a disturb
ance and wanted me to come down
and bail him out At first | was in
clined to let him stay there, bit know
ing if he didn't show up at his office in
the morning he would lose his job
concluded would go down.
when l got to the station l was
shown to the cell where he was locked
up. fast asleep by this time, and ! went
in to wake him. When he stood up
finally and looked at me | didn't rec
ognize him. When had seen him in
long, curly hair, but now he was clean
shaven and his hair was clipped as
closely as jail-bird. / took him up
stairs, deposited fifteen dollars for his |
fine, and took him out in the air and |
proceeded to sober him up When he |
had regained his senses sufficiently TO |
talk / asked him what was the matter. |
- Tom and Jerry was all the an
swer could get out of him for a long /
time. Finally got his story. 1t APP
pears he had spent his dollar in short |
order setting up Tom and Jerrys to /
himself and some chance acquaint- 1
ances. Then he wandered into some 1
other place where they were keeping .
open house and giving Tom and Jer-
~ to everyone who came in. Jim got
one, and then wanted another, which
was refused him on the grounds that
he had already been treated So the
thought occurred to him to go to a
barber shop where he had credit and
have his beard shaved off. so disguis-
ng himself that he could get another
rink The plan worked to a charm.
Then he went back and had his mus
ache shaved off. On this new face he
got another Tom and Jerry and then
ne was stuck. But no, another bril-
liant thought struck him and back he
goes again and soon the clippers had
made his curly head as smooth as a
billiard bali. Going up to his office
md drawing on skull cap he went
pack and worked the place for third
SCAA. AAS ndA AAtctditN pdW0tQ MS
lair and whislers for Tom and Jerry.
By this time he was feeling pretty
veil satisfied with himself, and, by
ome ill-luck, remembering that he
vas invited out to eat turkey at the
lone of his betrothed, started ont
here. His girl failed to recognize his
mooth face and shaver head, and
Ipon his persisting in explaining who
lie was, her father called a policeman
nd had him arrested as an escaped
unatic. And that wasn't the worst of
for when he failed later on to put in
n appearance and they waited dinner
or him until the turkey was cold. the
Dung lady was so mad she refused
ven to accept his apologies. and Jim
} an old bachelor to-day. kansas 1
ity Star
HYPNOTIC CURES.