Los Angeles herald., 1891-04-12

proceedings.
They're broke well enough" replied
Job, rather nettled, ''but I'm strange to
them; nobody but Ike ever drove them"
"Well, turn them about" said the
deacon.
But they paid no heed to any COM
mand, and finally, exasperated, Job
struck them both with the goad, and
they started at full run down the road.
Clattery bangl the cart went, and both
Job and the deacon were compelled to
hold on the cart stakes to prevent being
bounced out of the cart.
'Stop 'em! Stop 'eml' shouted the
deacon. II want to get out. Whoa!
whoa! whoa! ye varmints!" But the
oxen only tossed their heads and ran the
faster. 'Stop 'em, can't ye?"
B Job was downright mad by this time.
'Stop 'em yourself, you old foolr
snapped he; 'you know as much how to
stop EN- as do"
"We'll be chucked out and Hlledr'
shouted the deacon, as the cart banged
lover a stone.
The oxen were now thoroughly fright
ened and running away for fair, and
both men were badly scared and holding
on for dear life. All at once an idea
struck Job.
"Say, deacon, can't you talk some sea
talk to 'em? That's what I've alters
heard Ike talk to 'em," he called out as
the cart bumped along.
Brother Haines, such sea talk as I've
heard amt proper fer pillar of the
church to repeat, and I'll call meetin' on
you fer this if we git out alive" replied
the deacon, with as much dignity as he
could assume while holding to the stake.
"Do try, deacon!" shouted the terrified
Job; sit may save our lives"
just then the cart gave fearful lurch
and the deacon banged his head against
the stake he was holding to with consid-
erable force. This made him boiling
mad in addition to his fear. 'Splice the
main brace! Shiver my timbers! Pipe
all hands to grogr' and then, as that
had no effect on the frantic team, "Boat
ahoyr' and then losing all control of
himself, "Ahoy! Ahoyl drat ye, ye
blankety blank brutesr' and the deacon
let out such string of profanity that
Job turned shade or two paler.
While this was going on the oxen had
gotten over considerable ground. The
people along the road gazed in open
mouthed astonishment to see two such
staid citizens going along so furiously
with an OK team, and were terribly
scandalized at their apparent hilarity.
Ike, totally unconscious of what was
going on at home, was plodding along
toward his chum's, when he heard a
fearful clatter coming behind him. He
turned, and could hardly believe his
eyes. There came his pets Jack and
Billy at furious pace, and his uncle
and the deacon in the cart
"Stop 'em, Ike! stop 'emr shouted his
uncle when he saw Ike.
Ike stepped to one side of the road,
and as the cattle dashed up called out,
"Belay, Jackl Belay, Billyr At the
sound of the familiar voice and COM
mand they stopped at once, and went
quietly up to their young master.
"Ill have the law of you for this, Job
Haines, snarled the deacon, as he pain
fully descended from the cart
'And I'll call church on your retorted
Job as he rubbed his bruises. II won't
belong to any church with man that
kin swear like you kim A purity deacon
you be!''
eff ! had brat like that I'd skin him
aliver' roared the deacon as he glared at
the bewildered Ike.
Isaac, take them cattle home at
once" said his uncle. Gas for this
wicked man here, shall never notice
him again"
Ike took the cattle home. His uncle
walked. His aunt told him about the
contemplated sale, and though he ex-
pressed commiseration for his uncle it is
doubtful if he felt any. His aunt said it
served them just right. Ike kept his
oxen.-Texas Siftings.