The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-06-27

words out OF his delikit mouth before
two fat ofiss seekers from Wisconsin, in
er,deverin to crawl atween his legs TO,
tho pu1prss Of applyin for the tollgate
ship ut Milwawky, upset the President
eleck, and he would hev gone sprawlir
! into the fire place if I hadn't caught him
in these arms. But I hadn't more'r
stood him up strate before another mar
cum crashin down the chimney, his head
striliin me vilently agin tho inards and
prostratin my voluptoous form onto the
floor. mr.. Linkin," shouted the infat.
coated being, my papers is signed by
every clergyman in our town, and like.
wise the skoolmaster!'
"Sez l. ''you egrejis ass" gittin M &
brushin the dust from my eyes, "rll
sign your papers with this bunch of
bones. IT you don't be little more keer-
full how You make my bread basket a
depot in the futer. How do you like
that air perfumery7' SEE I. shuving my
fist under his nose. "Them's the kind
Of papers I'll give you! Thems the
papers you want!'
but I workt hard for the ticket: l
toiled night and day! The patrit should
be rcwardcdv'
''Virtoo," sed I, holdin' the infatoo-
ated man by tho coat collar, 'virtoo,
sir. IL its own reward. Look ut mel"
He did look at me. and qualed be4 my
case. "The fact u.s." continued, look
in round on the hungry crowd, there
is scarcely offs for every lie lamp car
rid round durin' this campane. wish
thare was. Iwish thare was Turin mis-
sions to be filled on varis lonely Islands
where cppydemics rage necessarily, and
1t I was in Old Abe's place I'd send
every mothers son of you to them.
What mir you hero fo-:'' continnered,
warmiu up considerable, "can't you
Civ Abe u ininit's peace? Don't you see
he's world most to death? Go home,
you miserable men, go home s. till the
sile! Go to peddlin tinware-go to chop
pin wood-go to bilin sope-stuff sas-
sengers-black boots-git n clcrlsship
on sum respectable manure cart-go
round as original Swiss Bell Ring.
crs-becum 'origenal AID only Camp
bell Minstrels-go to lecturin ut so
dollars u nite-imbark in the peanut
bizness-,r';te for the Ledgcr-saw off
your legs and 60 round givin concerts.
with tuchin appeals to charitable pub
Tic. printed on your andbills-anything
for an honest living, but don't come
round hero drivin' Old Aho crazy bv
your outrajis cuttings up! Go homo.
Stand not upon the order of your coin'.
but so to onct! Eff in five minits from
this timc," seq l, pullin' ont my new
sixteen dollar huntin casctl watch and
brandishin it before their eyes, '.Ef in
tive minits from this time I. single sole
of you remains on these here premises.
I'll go out to my cage near by, and let
my Boy Constructor loose! s. eff he gifts
amung you. you'll think old Solferino
has cum again and no mistaken
You ought to hev seen them scamper,
Mr.. Fair. They run orr rs tho Satun
hisself was arter them with a rel hot
ten prongel pitchfork. In five minits
the premises was clear.
"How kin ever repay you, Nh.
Ward. for your kindness:" s.,d Old Abe.
and shakin mo warmly by the |
hand. "How kin ever repay you, sir?'' |
by givin the whole country a good.
sound administration. BY pocrin' lie
upon the troubled waturs, North and
south. By pursooin' a patriotic, firm,
Ind just course, ind then If any State
wants to secede. let EN- Sesesh"
"How bout my Cabinit, Mister
Ward:" sel Abe.
Fill it up with Showmen, sir! Show.
men is devoid Of politics. They haint
got any principles. They know how to
'ater for the public. They know what
he public wants, North s. South. Show.
men. sir. is honest men. Ef YOU ,!onbt
heir literary ability look ut their ,n.,,
rs, and see small bills! IF You want Il
,abinit rs is Cabinit gil it up with
howlnen. but don't call on me. The
moral wax 6gger perfeshun mustn't b.
'ernitted to go down while there's n
lrop OF blood in these vains! A. Linkin,
wish you well! Eff Powers or Walcutt
rus to pick out model for beautiful
nam. i scarcely think they'd sculp YOU;
ut ct you do the fair thing by your
ountry you'll make as putty a angel as
ny of US! A. Linkin, use the talent
'hic!, Nature has put into you judishus.
and firmly. and all will be well! A.
4inkin. a.loo!'
He shook mo cordyully by tho hand
&c exchanged picters. SO we could gaze
pom each others liniments, when fur
way from one another-hea at the hellum
the ship of State. and l at the hellu,n
the show bizness-admittance only Is
ents.
THE STOW BUSINESS AND LECTURES
! feel that the Show Bizness. which