Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-10-08

you?
Second Boy-Y-e-s.
"What did you run for?'
"I-l was running so as to get him
away from home, so his mother couldn't
see him fghtin' but by the time he was
! out of sight of his house we got in sight
| of our house; and then, as my mother
would see me if | stopped to hit him, L
went in, so as to be out of temptation.
KNEW WHAT HE WANTED.
Charlie Youngnoodle ah! Ba!
| BON! BON! r -! he! he! =
Jeweler Ito his clerk Bring that tray
of engagement rings here, Jerry. jew
elers' Circular.
THE WEATHER ASSURED.
al am so anxious for it to be fine to-
morrow" said Mrs. Tomdik to Captain
Eastlake, who is something of a weather
prophet. "You don't think it will rain,
do you, Captain?'
"Well, ma am" replied the gallant
Captain, after q comprehensive sweep OF
the horizon, ''the only thing that can mar
perfect weather for tomorrow is an ad-
verse meteorological condition"
"Oh, thanks" replied the grateful
woman. much relieved. Then it is
certain to be fine, isn't it:"-[The
Epoch.
IN THE ASH BARREL.
"What brings you hcre?" the needle
asked the pin when they met in the ash
barrel
"Oh, they said | was crooked, and
threw me out. But how does it happen
you are here?"
"I'm broke"
THE WAY CLEAR FOR HOGS.
Beg pardon, sir" said the man who
had been standing up in the aisle of the
car, as he wedged himself down by the
side of man who was trying to occupy
two seats, (" but have you ever travelled
in Germany"
al have not, sir" grufay answered the
party addressed.
It's an interesting country" reioined
the other pleasantly. "You ought to
visit it. You would have no trouble
getting in now. = Chicago Tribune.
FOh a CIRIAlN DRAMA.
Johnny-Popper, does it follow be-
cause man wears glasses he has bad
eyesight?
Popper-As a rule, Johnny.
Johnny-Then you must have awful
poor eyesight.
Popper-Oh, no, sonny.
Johnny-Then why did mommer say
you look ten glasses day?
Popper-I'll explain it to mommer to-
night Jewellers Circular.
RECUPERATING.
Stuffer-I wonder what the matter is
with the De Courtneys? They have
stopped asking me to dinner.
Dashaway-They must have got
hungry.-[Truth.
SHE RETURNED THE COMPLIMENT.
There is curious marriage custom in
Brittany. At the close of the wedding
ceremony, the bridegroom gives the bride
q box on the ear, saying:-
THAT is how it feels when you make
me vexed," after which he kisses her
adding:-" And thus when you treat IN,
we'll"
A Breton once married German lass
from Swabia, and gave her the usual
salute on leaving the altar. But the
resolute damsel, ignorant of the prevail
ing custom, without waiting for the kiss
dealt her swain u tremendous clout on tn,
side of the face and said -
"Look here; I'll have none of that !
The young fellow rubbed his cheek
and knew now, at least, that his bette
half would not stand any nonsense
London Tit Bits.
HE HAD STUDIED ASTRONOMY.
They were walking home from churcl
in the soft, sweet moonlight. A lovely
landscape, diversified with wood an,
water, lay around them; the air wa
balmy and the voices of myriads of in
sects rose about them as they SLOWLY
passed along the meadow path to tn
maidens home. 1t was an hour an,
scene for the manifestation of the tende
passion which leads two souls to enter
tain but single thought, that cause
| two hearts to beat as one. Suddenly h
put his arm around her and kissed her
"Oh, George" she said id,reproachfully
"and the moon out, tool
"Huh!" he said, "you don't know tina
! / once studied astronomy. The mooi
amt inhabited. ~ New York Press.
woMAN's WAY.
When Clara Belle was summering besid,
the oceans shore
A natty little low crowned hat the gentl
maiden wore,
But.now at the theatre we look at he
and sigh,
For she wears a hat with feathers that
seven stories high.
New York Sun.
WISE WORDS.
"I think I'll ask the boss to get thi
afternoon off," said the youthful clerk
Don't said the old cashier.
"Why not?"
"You came into this establishment f
try and get on, didn't you?'
yes"
"Well, don't be so often trying to &c
off, or you'll never get on"
GREAT COMFORT.
Friend-l see your little boys hav
their hair clipped close to their heads.
Mr. Baldhead-Yes. find the fashio
a great comfort.
"They are certainly cooler"
81 was not referring to them, but I
myself. When the boys are around tn
flies sort O. divide themselves up an
give me some peace. = Good News.
TOOK THE HINT.
| t.AI;Ss Ressie y he Ealtered Mdn Yn