Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1891-08-09
THE CorToNBLossoM CLUB.
The Momentous Questions Grapplcd Will
at the Last ID eeting.
In, " Y TnrId

at the Last ID Getting.
NJ Quad In ". y. World.
81 has bin axed by a member Of dis
Club" said Brother Gardner after the
meeting had been opened with the
usual ceremonies. 81 has been axed II
it is wrong fur member OF de church
to play keerds. l reckon dat Is accord
in to who you play wild an how you
play. has bin a member OF de church
fur thirty-two vars, an de ole woman
an me kin sot down to game OF keerds
widout de slightest fear dat our fucher
am gwine to be mixed up wild sulphur
an brimstun. II de rest OF 20 can't 90
It den let keerds alone. Oars sunthin'
wrong about We.
81 has also bin axed il 1t Is sin fur
member Of de church to dance. OATS
also accordin'. II yo' was to dance as
hard as ye could, an whoop an holler
an balance four an get drunk 1t would
be VERY wrong. Seems to me dat mOas'
any religun orter be strong huff TO
allow any man or woman to walk frew
souar' dance an shuttle leetle when
de fiddle calls out balance to partners?
Zone sarten member Of dis Club wants
to know II pusson kin go to the thea
ter and get to heaben too. Pears to me
dat religion which can't stand a play
lastin' two hours is leetle weak some
whars. has bin to hos-races an dawg-
fights wild my religun, an didn't feel
II fakin' off q bit. want to be good,
an doan' want to be stopped on de
road arter death and turned back, but
want a religun dat hasn't got 10 lead
round by rope. II go to circus
doan' want to feel dat Satan has his eye
on me an has got my name writ down
in his book. If play kerds want my
mind free to watch de game, instead OF
tremblin' all de time for fear lie lost my
chance. II I dance l want TO lift up
my heels an hev good time, without
any religun pullln' me out OF doahs.
''Ize tellin' you, my friens, dat de
man who has religun dat Is allus
skeered OF everythln' he meets an dat
has not to wear goggles ober its eyes an
hev cotton stuffed into its ears hasn't
got much to brag OF. II your religun
can'trub agin de world an come out all
de better fur tiff 1t can't stand up
wen lettle strain comes to test its back
bone, you'd better sell out an buy a
new kind. We will now purceed wild
de re'lar purceedins."
ELECTION.
The following members were balloted
for and duly elected and are entitled TO
90 into any circus In this country for
half price: Regulation Jones, Gibreal-
tar White, Liberty Thomas, Industry
Fisher, Henry Scott, Uncle Congo Tay-
lor, Circulation Floyd and Tranquility
Hall.
A BAD FAILURE.
Judge Wintergreen Smith here arose,
and asked that the rules be suspended,
and the application OF Elder Bambo
Robinson, Of Paterson, n. j.. be acted
upon. The Elder was going down TO
Salem to look at coon dog which had
been offered him for So, and he thought
it would be q good thing to be a member
of the club on his journey.
s'Brudder Smith, did You cher meet
I'D wild de Elder?" asked Brother Gard
ner.
mo, sab, but Ize met up with his
fadder-in-law.
"Jist goin' down to Salem TO buy a
coon-dawg, eh?"
Oats ALL"
"Jist wants to be 'lected heah on dat
dawg's acconnt?"
Oats what 'spose, sab.
can yo' has de face TO sit up heah
an move dat de rules be 'spended In his
easel Am Giyeadam Jones In de hall?''
"Yes, sab"
"Brudder Jones, remove de Jedge TO
de aunty-room an keerfully examine
him 10 see II he ar loose in de top OF de
headl II yo' find he is yo' kin send him
home in hack. II yo' find it's jist kase
he doan' know any better, den yo' may
purceed to see what effeckt little shoe
leather will hev on his consanguinity!"
The Judge returned about twenty
minutes later, and he had the demeanor Of
a man who had been run up and down
four flights Of stairs By ghost.
A WORD OF ADVICE.
A letter from one Of the members OF
the Fourth Ward AfricHn Zion Metho-
dist Church, OF Houston, Tex, stated
that the congregation vas very much
mixed on the question, WAS Adam and
Eve the First man and woman" After
much debate It had been decided TO sub
NIT the question TO Brother Gardner.
81 has got fist word or two to say TO
dem people, said the President In re.
ply. "What dey want TO do Is 10 let
Adam, Eve, Noah, Elijah, Moses an all
de rest of de folks alone an tend to biz
ness. When de members Of . church
begin to wonder II de whale really did
swaller Jonah you kin predict what's
gwine to happen. In six months dar
won't be any church left It's none OF
DER bizness bout Adam an Eve. It's
DER biEness to pay de preacher, keep de
meetin-house painted up an hang on 70
all de religun dey kin git hold Of. As
told 20 once befoh, de VERY fnst mem
Der Of dis Club who begins to inqnAr'
around bout Adam or anybody else IN
! de past will sit de bounce % quick dst