The Irish standard., 1891-07-04
RANDOM BEE EO1IONs.

f 7 =
RANDOM BEE ELECT ONS.
A duel with rocking chairs is reported
in New York. Many man has had the
unpleasant experience Of duel with one
rocking chair in the dark, but when it
comes to more than one he would have
little chance to escape with his life. One
rocking chair is more than match for
man trying to find his way through
dark parlor. 1t is more than likely that
this duel occurred in Toronto during the
late elections when 200 chairs in q. hall
were smashed.
***
Even dirt is not healthy in Brooklyn.
A mares nest has been discovered in it's
public schools where modelling in clay is
taught. It is claimed that the same
clay is handled by all the pupils, and
that any skin disease troubling pupil
may thus be communicated to others.
The medical men, however, insist that
as diseased children are not allowed to
attend the schools, there is not much in
the sensational statements. Brooklyn
has evidently too much dirt inside it's
limits. Why not kill the mare and
burn the nest.
BY almost universal consent the
speech of Cha.ncey M. Depew at Ga
lena, is pronounced by the press one of
the best estimates ever made of the life
and services of General Grant, The ma
TONS great orator, who never fails to
please, entered 80 fully into the spirit
of the unique surroundings and associa-
tions as to make the speech the grandest
of his life. It is destined to be classic
in American oratory-equal to any ever
made by Webster, Choate, or Phillips.
Chauncey is surely sweet talker, but
he cannot talk himself into the White
House
The boy in Harlem who recently
swallowed small thermometer is ex-
citing good deal Of attention for boy.
In order to make h1m at ell useful it
will be necessary to insert pane of
glass in him somewhere, or induce him
to swallow an observer Of the signal SER
vice. It will take years of practice, un-
doubtedly, before his inward monitor
will be useful in telling him when it is
time TO put on or take off his fannels.
He will have the advantage of being
able to tell his friends that the Their
mometer is low no matter how warm the
weather may be.
*x*
s'The granite cutters of San Francisco
would melt g hearts Of stone. After sue
ceed1ng in their movement to obtain the
eight-hour day without reduction of
wages they next struck for the privilege
of smoking while at work. When they
get this they will perhaps ask for free
tobacco and matches, if not for tree beer
end the magazines They don't need to
strike for softer quality of granite.
The most adamantine flint would be re-
duced by the application Of their own
most obvious characteristic The
writer must be building stone mansion
and wants to get $40, 600 one erected
for 81, 600.
Most persons who usa the incandes-
cent electric light prefer g new lamp,
because the light is winter and more
brilliant than after the light has been
in use two or three weeks. This is
wrong It is this dazzling white light
that harms the eye. An old lamp is the
best; for in 1t the light has become
changed to a pale yellow--which is the
ideal color. just as in monday bright
ness human sight is not SO clear and
far-reacbing as at the yellow sunset, so
a new incandescent burner is not as
good for the eye as the old one. An old
burner, so adjusted that the light from
it does not shine in the face, is the ideal
artificial light,
*x*
Edward Whelahan, who died recently
in New Haven; Conn, was nearer to the
head of the army for longer time than
any other man. He was a trooper in
Company B, of the Fifth Connecticut
cavalry, but was detailed as The personal
orderly of General Grant. When Grant
rode out, the armed cavalryman rode fif-
teen PAGES behind to personally guard
his commander. Wherever Grant
walked there Whelahan followed. The
trooper was tall. powerfully built man
of splendid military bearing, GOLD and
sklllful rider, soldier of recognized
bravery and faithful man. Yes, and
he was an freshman too, which accounts
in great measure for his bravery.