Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-10-01
SIMON'S FIRST CALL.

Paul Peachb,ossom was of an in.
genlous as well as economical turn of
mind. and so all the odd Jobs of re.
pairing about the premises were done
By his own skillful hands Consc-
quently. when he noticed that the
dlnlng-roOm chairs were getting
SCARED and battered, he set to work,
scraped and painted them in work.
manlike manner, and completed the
task OF rejuvenating them by putting
on thick coat of varnish.
After he was done with them. the
whole family declared that they
looked better than they did the day
they were brought home. Finally.
when they had been sufficiently ad-
mlred, they were scattered about in
various odd and out-of-the-way parts
OF the house. until such time as the
varnish should be dry enough to ad-
init OF using them. And thereby
hangs tale"
Now Mr.. Peachblossom possessed
pretty daughter; and she. in her turn.
possessed beau. Simon Shilling by
name, who was greerer than the
slime in Il frog pond. He was so ex-
cessively bashful that he chewed wind
more than q freshly caught colfish
whenever he tried to answer tho
simplest question that Jennie Peach
blossom could ask him.
Affairs had been going on in this
way for some time. when one Friday
evening Simon approached the Peach
blossom homestead to make his first
call on the maid of his choice. He
was so terribly frightened that his
heart quivered and shook in his bosom
like jar of jelly in an earthquake,
and he pounded upon the pine portal
with a trembling fist.
The fair Jennie herself answered his
faint-spirited knock. and she showed
him to the parlor with smile that
was suggestive of sugar. plums and
maple syrup.
He made for the very first seat that
caught his eye. with his face looking
as if il had been colored with cochineal.
Unluckily for him. it was one of those
newly-varnished dining-chairs that had
found its way in there in some mys-
FERROUS manner; but Simon never no.
1iced anything about that. He only
realized that it was chair. and
pumped down upon it like a pile
driver bolt upright and as inhexible
as a modern Indian in front of a cigar
store.
He sat there for two mortal hours.
like Hindoo idol. and every move
ment he dared to make in all that time
was Just to twiddle his fingers and
work his jaws little. Jennie tried
her best to entertain the bashful caller,
but it was slow business.
No matter what she said to him, the
result was always the same. He would
turn as red as lobster with the apo
plexy; then his mouth would open
and shut like a box-trap but the words
wouldn't come Finally. after gasping
like a dying sculpin for minute or
two. brief answer would be squeezed
out of him like u squeak out of bag
pipe; then silence that was dense
enough to eat with a spoon would once
more settle down upon the scene.
Evidently conversation wasn't Simoa's
strong point.
About nine o'clock the poor fellow
felt that he could endure it no longer.
So he told Jennie with much en-
barrassment that he really must go
home.
What, SO soon. Simon?" said she
with an enchanting smile.
Simon was all added up by it, and
he made the first and only excuse that
his bewildered brain could formulate.
Yes" he said. I'm teething and
kind of croupy. and mother don't like
to have me out late"
Then he tried to rise to his feet,
but it was vain attempt: he could no
more get up out of that chair than ii
he had been nailed to the bottom with
railroad spikes. That varnish had got
in its work in good shape. and Simon
had taken root. In fact he might just
as we'll have been real estate as far as
standing up was concerned.
The frightened youth turned every
color OF the rainbow in succession, and
his hair stood up like bunch OF bull
PUSHES in a down-east pasture; he
hadn't a doubt but he had suddenly
become paralyzed. His eyes stuck out
like a snail's, his mouth opened until
his ears were undermined. and in his
r;sorv ha Uave vent to q hollow grOan