Telegram-herald., 1891-03-22

Every Day language essA x>s~sA o.
nemE<rx

Every Day Language ooo4 8noSgA Ger
nemS<r&
Some time since, As samuel Sscn was
cleaning up Paradise hall IL res.nnrss
for the usual usskly meeting. he flung
pan Of ashes cut Of one Of the Windows
fronting on the alley, and the same de-
sc-a.ded upon the hesd Of Coiones inquarsr
jones. who was about to cutter the hall
There has been bad blood between the
pair II coAse4 uerce, or, rather, tbs colo
nel las wasted . great deal Of tiLne II
trying 10 catch Samuel IN some lonely
LEGALITY. Odds Of ten 70 oae have been
giyen thst he would succeed. bat al the
last meeting, TO the surprise Of every
body, he walked UP 10 Brother Sh,n and
extended his hand and waved the Gag ct
peace. This action was brought about
by a telegram announcing the death OF
his mother In North Carolina Two
hours later he heard that she had been
dead thirteen years when the telegram
was sent, but he was not the man " 90
back on his word.
..Gem'len," said Brother Gardner, as
the meeting came 10 order. Il kev few
words of advice 20 offer which / hope
will be keerfully listened 70 Ga i'm
pecuniously considered. has observed
a tendency on de part Of many members
of dis club 10 atfock what may be tarmed
de Shakspearinn style VI conversashun-
1t Gums from de white folks, Of co'se-
from dat class who has been suddenly
elevated by de profits Of a sewer con-
tract, an should be sot down on wid de
most vigorous disqualification. 1t han't
in keepin' wild de financial an soshul
standin Of man who has 10 black
stoves an lay on whitewash 1t an aver
age income of seben dollars . week !
want it stopped"
IJudge Cahoots, Wh-forc Davis. hide
pendence Jones and Others began 10 look
very serious.
EUR instance" continued the presi-
dent, chow many members Of dis club
know de meanin' Of de term. TO pog-
nosticate toward de emblematical indi-
vidualityY an yit, At de party given at
my house de odder night, heard it ut
tered no less dan fo'teen times What's
de use of q man a;rnin' dollar q day
obsarvin' dat he expecks TO condescend
to tho irresponsible endeavor befo
spring? He doan know whether it means
dat cranberries am gwine mp to fo'ty
cents quart or will drap down to six.
an his nearer goes home an can't sleep
fur thinkin' about it. SIGH conversashun
simply implacates q resinous disinclina-
ton to absorb the proper desideratuln.
nipples of excitement with suppressed
cries of Hear! hearr']
IF any of you." continued the presi-
dent, as he laid aside his coat, "has an
ideah dat de yuse OF SIGH words as bonn
bastic, delirium tremens, Cato, inconse-
qcential, Dante, Boston, impugn, re-
taliate or postmaster gineral elevates
You in de corruptible IN imperious est
mashun of Vanderbilt an Gould you is
precariously mistaken. When . member
of dis club comes to mo an wants to
borry . tablespoonful of forty cent green
tea, kase de preacher am gwine to be to
his cabin fur supper, l want him to sot
down ON de aige of cheer, look me in
de eye an Civ it to me in plain English.
He needn't spect me to heap up de
measure bekase he uses SIGH words as
abdicate, absquatnlate, CDsarism an
primeval incalcul&te."
More ripples. during which Colonel
Cahoots managed to kick Sir John
Smythe on the shin, and thus pay of an
old grudge.l
eff had a son twenty vars ole, said
the president, as he looked up and down
the aisles, IAN he should cum homo
some day wild his whitewash brush on
his shoulder an inform me dat dc graft
ficashun of de incompatible syntax had
withdrawn its objecshuns to dc planet
airy affiliashun, do you know what
would do? would riz up an put my
No. 13s agin him wild SIGH auxiliary rep
rehensibihty dat he would percolatc de
longitudinal cumulative fur six weeks to
cum. Oar bein' no furder bimess befo
de club until its recent communication
TO de legislachur' is answered, we will
redundate homeward-" - Detroit Free
Press.