Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1891-12-09
Too Much Meusxsrls.

Anyone who will take up catalogue OF
lameS and glance casually through l.
sill be surprised to see how ludicrous at
.ometimes the cognomens under which
portions of mankind labor. IL is useles.
'or the poet to assert, ~There's nothips
u a name The unfortunate schoolbo
who condescends TO sport the unromantI
fohn Jones, on the ludicrous Snodgras.
thinks otherwise Perhaps the most
,ommon names used by men for family
designation are those OF animals. aud
when several congregate OF such strip
here is going to be fun in the meDaeerIe
An incident occurred during the civilwa
which illustrates this.
In the pretty country town OF Warren.
ton there was stationed, just after tbs
surrender, regiment under the com
nand of Captain Brown, rather chol
ric Individual. There was TO be peace
and the gallant captain had determined
to exercise very strict surveillance ove'
the defeated rebs. So one day he mad
every citizen come up and register.
Now it happened that in the small
compass of Warrenton lived several gen.
tlemen with striking names. A MIR
Lyon kept a restaurant, Mr.. Coon was
auctioneer, Mr.. Hare ran a barroom,
while store boasted of Mr.. Bear as its
proud proprietor. 1t also happened that
these gentlemen arrived in the register
ing precinct at the same time.
Your name, sir? ?" demanded the clerk
Of the first who presented himself
Bear. was the reply, and Bear went
down on the book.
"Your name, siri" was asked OF tho
second.
Coon, was the placid rejoinder, and
Coon followed Bear on the ledger.
"Your name, sir?"
"Lyon.
The clerk looked up with puzzled ex-
mession, but the gallant captains nose
'ose in the air, and his eyes flashed as he
waited for the next man to be questioned.
lie began to imagine they were assuming
names to falsify the estimate, and he
Saxed as wrathy as hornet in glass
bottle.
"Your name, sir2" came from the busy
pen pusher
Hare, +" innocently replied the uncon-
scious man.
This was more than the captains
already boiling blood could stand. lie
,prang to his feet with wild army oath,
and shaking his clenched fist in the face
4 his astonished victims he shouted;
"This thing has gone about far enough.
you try 10 palm any more of your
blasted animals on me, Ill slap the last
Dne of you in jail !"
The procession OF four departed, sad.
Ter but wiser men.
aE KNEW SHE WOULD DE MAD.
nut He Had Lost His Keys, so ne Had
90 wake Her Up.
Just as he reached the foot of the steps
he put his hand into one of his trousers
pockets and then CALCULATED:
What in thunderl"
Then ne felt in another pocket and
muttered:
We'll, I'll be hangedl"
He stopped and thought for moment,
says an exchange, and tried his vest
pockets. Next he tried those in his coat.
Every one asleep, too, he muttered,
as he paused in front of the door.
wonder where could have left them"
He went through his pockets again,
and then sat down on the top step 70
think the matter over.
She'll be hopping mad If wake her
up, he muttered, and no excuse viii
go. But what else am going to do?"
He sighed, made third search Of his
pockets, and then got up with deter
mination On his face and gave several
vicious yanks at the door bell
"Oh, mel oh, my! Won't she be mad,
thought" he soliloquized.
And she was.
@Oh, it's you, is it2" she exclaimed
when she opened the door. What did
you wake me up forf"
My dear, he said apologeticaIly, u
couldn't get in.
did you try 2" she asked.
why, no, my DEAR" he explained.
"You see ! lost my keys to-day"
Il lnow it. found them on the
bureau, and so left the door unlocked
for you"
Then she marched back to bed, and he
swore that he would never again take It
Tor granted that anything was locked.
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