The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1891-10-31
VERPLANCK COLvN, BORE
an OFFICIAL REPORT MAKKR WITH an
APPALLING PAST

90. us,versai ana Perennial werk, what
y.rpi.nek Coivin Saw, HesrA, sseiieA.
r..tes. Touohea, Dreamed, and TheuGht
D,r,,s Years or HIS Lirs. Printed ss the
rx,.,,e or tho state OF New Ysrh.
Y,x that Mr.. verplanok Colvin is trying once
unr. To enter the service Of tho State. this
. .nu nv getting the votes OF the people as a
s"nd,date for the ONCE Of State Engineer and
Snr,svor on the Republican ticket. IL will not
~ amiss II the people be reminded OF the
smusing, expensive. exasperating. and Inn
emit way in which Mr.. Colvin conducted
hi1self during nearly twenty years Of ONCE
holding
utilities Of serious nature. Mr.. Verplanck
calvin Is unfit for the ONCE on the ground Of
hoino a fussy. verbose. and interminablo
Nora So long as q man bores himself the State
Soos not interfere. nor does It NEEDLE when he
.sares his wife and family and friends: but
-hsn he wearies the whole State and gets .
large salary for doing 80. all will agree that Il
/. high time to call halt 30 pompous and
.olemn was Mr.. verplanck Colvin that he held
sho LEGISLATURE in awe OF him for nearly nth
~ century. But at last he got so expensive
and 40 tedious that he was cut Oh. not sud-
hsnly. but gently. as was charitable: for Mr..
yerplanok Colvin has always meant we'll
TIA BORE MOUNTS HIS HOBBY
r. came about In this wise that Mr.. YER
pIsnk Colvin. born in Albany in 1S47. was
ioisted upon the State Of New York. Mr.. COL
Vim was person OF education and breeding.
Early In lifo he became impressed with the
idea that he was q great man. As soon as
matters permitted. he decided TO let his great
ness take the direction OF scientific and geo.
.ranhicsl discovery. Whether he had no
stomach for savage tribes and distant lands,
or simply followed fate. he became Drank on
fhe subject Of tho Adirondacks. He insisted
that all the Adirondack region was an I'm
known country. that its fauna. aora, inhabit-
ants, and so forth were waiting for Colum bus
Colvln.
FROM PRIVATE TO PUBLIC NUBANoE.
60, soon after the civil war. Mr.. verplanck
CoIvin was nosng and prying about In the
Adirondacks to his no small Standardization
and to the profound Ignorance Of all the rest of
he world. II his own ingenious account Is to
10 credited. some friends OF his. In an evil
hour for the State Of New York. found!out what
he was doing. They discovered that Mr.. YER
plsnck Colvin had discovered that the Adiron-
dacks had not been surveyed Think Of that,
and then think further that Mr.. Colvin felt
sure that the exact heights Of tho mountains.
the precise depths OF the valleys had not been
Iscertained. This dreadful state OF affairs
was laid before the Legislature. and Mr.. YER
planck Colvin became superintendent Of the
Adirondack survey with an annual appropria-
don and q staff Of men. This was bad enough.
but not the worst. for Mr.. Colvin WAS COM
manded to make annual report to the Legis-
hture Of his progress,
Although the law explicitly provided that
this survey was to be survey only. and that
Hr. Colvin was to act as q surveyor. mako
maps, put up landmarks. and the like Mr..
Colvin took no such narrow view OF his COM
mission. He organized himself into Q geo.
graphical. botanical. chronological. geological.
meteorological. neurological and astronomi-
cal society. literary bureau. and . general
gossiping and self-admiring commission.
There was incidental surveying. but so purely
Incidental that 1t Is hardly worth mentioning.
ELEVEN YEARS. COST OF BORE AND HoBBY.
This was kept up for eleven years. Mr.. Yer
planck Colvin passed all his time in pursuit OF
Nshobby. produced reports Of most amazing
size and incredible contents. accumulated
,sny hairs. and a reputation for learning Of .
Mysterious kind. Then Governor Of New
York sat upon him. This Governor In Q mes
:g vet to the Legislature IL ! 1s ss said:
DURING n s
Ssy IS th he State sd and has cost
seports. s74s7s. It is for the people to judge
Ehether any public good has been served BY
"T6e sost q printing the reports Of these
Mrveys has been soandalously large. and I
zion. ordered. by a resolution with Which
have not the power to interfere. a reprint Of
E se5o 9' these books at an expense Of nearly
This last sentence indicates that Mr., Colyin
ass heye passed some time IN
ssSn$s E 81 sSi
would have been tribe compared with what
actually was the reports would haye been
Gss would have been the loss Of . chance to
Serplanck Colvin,. savsnt explorer. blower Of
Re ed Gev IL sSls h te a s5S ss Is
he expense Of the people Of New York.
THE HOBBY GETS NEW NAME.
here was some little hope that he would be- y;
II, again as superintendent Of q survey Of
st cha sndH which is sasther name
,orts dlsappeared Now Nj coivin is in sight
lgain. He wants chance to spend some more
state money on his hobbies. He wants a
nance 10 make some more reports. to write
!ome more literature, and when one thinks
xhat field there would be for report making
n the office he seeks. 1t IL hard to restrain
mes fears even though his chances for cleo
Ion are small
COMPENDIUM OF USELESS KNOWLEDGE
Nj; VsrPlanek Colyin's writings are on the
tustlest shelves OF State librarfeS, In tho at
les OF his friends houses. on the centre table
sPofs for s! YOU VIII na a a%Sns % h s
lthousand subjects, the following. taken ut
aiandom: United States army. bear found
lead bear hunts frogs. bears meat. beavers.
oog oilberry bunch berry, butterflies: Cam
bridge observatory. Canada, canals. cednrs.
earthquake r dust haze explosion, ,entomol-
6osthsh, fungi, future Of HairehdacEs; Har.
Sard College. heat. Holland. illness. Indian
Hamc' Labrador tea, lightning. moccasins.
audit, rainbow, salary not paid. smoke haze.
Enpe. snowblrds. snowfea. snow shoes. sugar
msu Iar moths: sufferings. very remarkable
ao This index. Of which the above is but small
s 1o includes every subject from theology to
Zoology Annual Report OF q Typographical