davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

IHon. Jacob Pugsley in presenting
Capt. Barrett's name to the Convention
stated that the Captain had not been
standing around bareheaded in the sun
for the last month in order to get the
back of his neck toasted to the proper
color for an agriculturalist. He did not
need to do that to get brown, for-he was
born that Way,
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Will someone kindly tell Mr.. Blaine
Co be careful what he eats? The Re.
publican party is interested in his diet,
for great deal depends upon the state
of his digestion for the next two years,
namely, till March 4, '93.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25
Plank First.

l. We reaffirm our devotion to the
patriotic doctrine Of protection, and rec
ognize the Mckinley bill as the ablest
expression Of that principle, enacted in
fuldllment Of Republican promises. and
we pledge ourselves to its support, al.
vays having IN uieW it, Improvement a.
changed conditions or sgperience may require.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Foraker's speech nominating McKin-
ley will take rank among his greatest
efforts. The published report gives no
idea of its magical effect on the conven-
tion. Every sentence was greeted with
uproarious applause, and each was SEP
.arate event in itself.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

There seems to be something loose
about Meals typewriter that it writes
the perpendicular pronoun l with so
much facility and frequency.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Farmer Charles E. Groce, of Circleyille,
will assist Farmer Frank McColloch in
harvesting the sea grass in the Ohio
Canal and in driving the States frogs to
pasture.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Mild, gentle, soothing and
healing is DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Only SO cents.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Some OF our Democratic cotemporaries
are sadly out OF line with their party on
the silver question. The next House
will pass free coinage with whirl, and
the next Democratic State Convention
will in all probability be compelled to
adopt tree silver plank. Then all the
sound money Democrats will have to
step out with Grover Cleveland into the
cold. Our friends have been preach
ing excellent financial doctrine but un-
fortunately for them it is not Democratic.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1891-06-25

Thirty Kansas Alliances have repudi.
ated the Third Party movement. The
Cloud county Alliance when asked to
endorse the Cincinnati platform passed
the following resolutions. Whenever
these resolutions are successfully denied,
we will gladly publish the denial. Here
they are:
WHEREAS, The South was not repre-.
sented in the Cincinnati convention; and
whereas, we believe the third party will
disrupt the Republican party to the bene-
fit of the Democratic party; therefore,
be il
Resolved, That we abandon the third
party to return to our present affi'ation.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22

sometimes hoping that they may be of
use In this way to those who are lonely,
and need the name of some great strong
man upon whom to lean.
I agree with you, madam, regarding
such New York boarding house break
fasts as I have been thrown in contact
with. The eggs at New York board
ing house l recall now as peculiarly de-
pressing and filled with vain regret.
These eggs, as l recall them, were notice
able for their defective ventilation. They
were eggs that had been marked down
from the regular price
And yet you cannot well evade the
breakfast of the metropolitan boarding
house if you are transient and wom-
an. Honestly, l do not think that
woman gets fair shake in this matter.
She may be able and willing to go to a
first class hotel and eat good So break
fast, but as a stranger she is compelled
to put up at plebeian waffle works, and
eat in a breakfast room in which there
is tired looking bed lounge. Now a
bed lounge in breakfast room Will cast
a gloom over better victuals than we
generally find in that neighborhood,
and all, how depressing it is when the
hollow chested muffin, leaning on the
strong arm of the butter, gives sad
cough and seems to appeal, as does also
the feeble coffee, for Professor Lymph
Koch to come to its aid!
New York is a very wicked city, lady.
1t is said to be next to Cheyenne, Wyo.,
for original and artificial sin. There is
no place of its size where it is harder for
one to live up to his epitaph than New
York. Scarcely day goes by thatsome-
body does not cut up some deviltry here
Even people of undoubted standing com
NIT indiscretions. 1t isn't more than a
month since policeman, right here in
town, stepped aside from the beaten
path; and if a policeman goes astray
when every good influence is thrown
about him, what may we not expect from
the general public? Sin not only of a
local and amateur character stalks our
streets at monday, but the imported
wickedness, the handiwork of pauper
labor, comes in here duty free. Sin,
with all the advantages of many foster
ing and fostering centuries, gets off at
the barge Office here, and begins to COM
pete with the amateur wickedness of
New York.
Eternal vigilance is the price of the
umbrella, and also the price of success in
the hotel business. 1t is found that GER
tain rules must be established and lived
up to in running hotel or the business
will be failure. That is why 1 some
times have difficulty myself in obtaining
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22

up my mind that I am going to whip
every man who feel sure is a robber.
1 know that you have robbed me, and
am going to whip you. Wait minute.
Lest you think there may be some doubt
as to my ability to perform my duty in
this matter, let me say that I have three
medals presented to me by different box
ing associations. What time will you
be at leisure?"
81 don't know" said the conductor.
"Well, no matter, for have day off,
and can ride with you until the desired
opportunity presents itself"
The conductor, who was evidently
disturbed, went into "a forward car.
When he returned a few minutes later
he discovered that the revengeful fellow
was gone.
"What became of that red headed
mani" he asked.
"He got off at the last station" pas
senger replied. "By the way, why didn't
you make him pay his fare?"
Because he said that I had already
punched his ticket twice"
eyes, he said so, but the truth is you
did not punch it at all. He had no
ticket. He lives at Madison Park, and
is known as the biggest deadbeat in the
community. Arkansas Traveller.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
It Worked.

"Funny about this telephone business,
isn't it?" remarked a bald headed citizen
of the Cass farm as he heard somebody
'helloing" at the back end of the drug
store.
SIN what respect?"
"Well, in respect to your neighbors.
At one time last year I had no less than
eight different families using my phone
to do all their business. They'd come in
night or day, use it as long as they
wanted to and for every purpose, and
not one ever laid down the fee charged
at station, although they knew had
to pay $50 per year."
''Wellw
"One day hung up card, stating
that my phone was put in for the use of
the neighbors alone, and that's where
the funny part came in. They dropped
off like leaves in autumn Some one
killed my dog, my cat was poisoned and
our hired girls were frightened off by
the stories of the neighbors, my wife lost
callers, my church pew was hired away
from me at higher price and the boys
chalked signs on my barn doors stating
that was the meanest man in Michigan.
[ have got my phone yet, but, alas
nave no neighbor who would lend me
enough mustard for midnight plaster. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
CURED OF MALARIA.

George Dixon, % Florida street, Eliza
beth, N. j.. writes:
81 have been using Allcock's Porous
Plasters for the last five years Some two
years ago, after. having been sick for up
wards of six months with malaria, found
myself with an enlarged spleen, dyspeptic
and constantly trouble with headache
and my kidneys did not act very
well either. Having spent most OF
my money for medicine and medi-
cal advice, I thought to save expense
would use Allcock's Porous Plasters, Two
on the small of my back one on the spleen
or ague cake, and one on the pit of the
stomach, just under the breast-bone.
continued using the plasters about thirty
days, changing them every week. At the
end of that time was perfectly we'll. and
have remained so ever SINCE"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
WANTED VENGEANCE,
The Eesnductor Listened, AIasi but Didn't
Catch On.

The Conductor Listened, AIasi but Didn't
Catch On.
When conductor on a Chicago sub
urban train approached heavy set, red
headed fellow the fellow said, 'Look
here, you have already punched my tick
ct twice"
"Well, but why do you give it to me
twica?"
''Rseanse," the fellow replied, ''you
came along and held out your hand, and
l was tempted to see how often you
would punch away my salary, for it takes
about all l make to buy a monthly ticket.
Hold on he added, when the conductor
began to move Off. 81 have discovered
that you are robber, and l am going to
call you to account. 1 am going to whip
you, sir"
81 reckon not" said the conductor.
but reckon am. l have noticed
for several years growing disposition
on all sides to rob me. and have made
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Where to Apply.

"Excuse me-" he said, as he entered
the shop of cobbler, "but want to ask
you the meaning of word"
"Vhell?'
"The word is 'articulate.' Do you
know what it meansf"
"My frendt, where you get dose shoesF'
cat shoe store on Woodward ave-
nue."
"Vell, you go right oafer by Wood
ward avenue und ask dot shoe store to
articulate for you! Dat vhas me! Good
dayr'-Detroit Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Must Be Done.

''Look here, Mr.. Scribe, your paper
says that my lecture is to be a comic one
and it isn't So"
'Then, my dear sir" returned the ed.
itor, "you must make it comic. This
journal never makes mistakes. ''-Har-
pers Bazaar.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
61A1 w
oyerstayed His Furloupb.

A young soldier had gone to the thea
tire with friend. The play dragged
and he fell asleep. An hour later he
was awakened by the voice of an actor
saying:
eve have been here five days"
Our infantryman got up in a fright
and said to his friend:
''Ah, morbleu! and 1 had only leave
to stop out till midnightr' Gaulois.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Acting on a Suggestion.

''Do you believe in starting a third
party?" asked old Mr.. Dimmick of his
daughters beau, as all three sat in the
parlor.
''Well," replied the young man, who
had not called to discuss politics, 81
wouldn't have thought of asking you to
retire; but since you mention it, Mr..
Dimmick, 1 will say that it is the gen.
eral belief that two are company
Harper's Bazar.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Thrifty Caution.

Oddson-Why are you always asking
me for cigarette? Why don't you buy
your own?
Ends-I don't want to get into the
puff, puff habit of puff smoking the
darned things, Oddson.-Chicago Trib-
una
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Variety the Spice of Life.

Professor see, fraulein, that my
remarks on the ancient Romans do not
interest you.
His Hostess (politely)-Oh, yes, Herr
Professor-go on.
Professor Qkindly)-No, I shall change
the subject. We will now consider the
ancient Greeks.-Fiegende Blatter.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Domestic Peace.

Policeman (excitedly to boy on the
fence outside) = What's going on in
there, Johnny? Having war dance
with all the neighbors on the square?
Johnny (composedly) Nope. Only
man insistin' on dad spendin' his even
ms at home.-Washington Post.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22

suitable lodgings. If unaccompanied,
especially by baggage, it is often hard
work for me to get quarters at all in
keeping with my position.
For that reason we must submit,
though often unwillingly, to the Gus
toms, harsh though they be, and content
ourselves with the New York boarding
house and its extremely atat. eggs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
And the Big Man stood No Chance

Aunt Rachel-Yes, 1 like him well
enough, Jerusha; but how did you ever
happen to marry man head shorter
than you are?
Niece had to choose, auntie, be.
tween little man with big salary and
a big man with a little salary. Chicago
Tribune,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
A Great Field.

City Parson-I have been appointed
missionary to the heather and
Chorus of Parishioners-You are not
going to leave us, are you?
City Parson-No; they told me to stay
gus. where was.-New York Herald.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22

'What is ife?" asked the teacher of
the class in moral ethics.
''The absence of DEATH" announced a
scholar from the natural philosophy
class, and it stood.-Washington Star.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Owed Him a v.

st. Agedore- Faughet, great man
as he was, will never have statue
erected to his memory.
De Mascus-Why not?
''He never had a memory. st. Joseph
News.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
TO AVOID LA GRIPPE
Bill Nye's Original Plan and How
it Worked.
THE ms OF THE HOTEL BUSINESS
Why Women are not Considered Respectable
Unless Accompanied by Dis
reputable Male Escort

FLOR THE SUNDAY HERALD. By special
arrangement with the author.I
This department regrets to state that
1t mas succeeded in getting itself into
trouble, Some months ago a correspond
ent wrote to know how he should avoid
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22

To the question, Which is your favorite
poem! there may be great variety of
answers; but when asked, which is your
favorite bloodpurifer? there can be only
one reply-Ayer's Sarsaparilla, because it
il the purest, safest, and most economical. =
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
rreasrng rrospect.

She-Mamma says she knows that
when we are married we sha'n't live so
like cat and dog as she and papa do.
He-No, indeed! Your mamma is
right.
Eyes, she says she is sure you'll be
easier to manage than papa is"
"Ohw-London Tit-Bits.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
A Wonderful Cure.

Carker calling on friend - Mercy!
What's that frightful shouting upstairs?
Servant-That's Mr.. Barker, sir.
Carker-Why, 1 thought he had lost
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
Pretty Far Gone.
Lilly-How far has he gone?

Myrtle-He's awfully attentive to her,
you know.
Lilly-How far has he gone?
Myrtle-Very far, I'm afraid. He held
her prayer book upside down at church
yesterday, and I'm sure I heard him say
ga woman" instead of "amen!"-New
York Ledger.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-02-22
A Plain Definition.

Servant-He had, sir; but he has just
received the doctors bill.-Puck.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-04-10
ODDS AND ENDS.

Helena, Mon, with a population Of only
5000, contains thirty-two millionaires.
Use finger bowls with reason; they should
follow the fruit at breakfast.
Bathe the lips occasionally with little
alum water, followed by little camphor
ice OF glycerine.
An imported grenadine has a close, firm
mesh and silk embroidered floral designs
in the natural colors
An increased pulse rate indicates fever.
lab condition, as it rises with every increase
Of temperature.
Ammonia applied two or three times on
fresh cold sore will kill it. 1t will drive
it away If used when the cold sore is first
felt
1t is estimated that from 10000 to 100000
deer feed in the forests Of Scotland, and
that 900 stays are killed annually.
William Schaeffer, of Linfeld, Mont
gomery county, Pa, has made cane Of
5,SG4 pieces, which he has presented to an
intimate friend.
The pumice stone was writing material
Of the aBcents. They used it to smooth
the roughness of the parchment or to
sharpen their reeds.
Elk Governor Ames, of Massachusetts,,
and his brother, f. L. Ames, are worth
SO, 900, 600 and s25, ,OOO, 900 respectively.
The right arm of blacksmith Is almost
hypertrophied, while the left arm, from
disuse, becomes atrophied.
Thieves stole an organ from the Presby-
terian church at River Forest, Ills, the
other day. About year ago the carpets
were stolen from the church.
The women Of California made Mrs. Jes-
sic Benton Fremont Christmas present
of the cottage in Los Angeles whore she
has lived for some time.
It is computed that the average yield Of
corn in the United States last year was
2O7 bushels, Of wheat Ill bushels and Of
oats 1913 bushels to the acre.
A married woman should sign herself
Mary A. Smith. In business letter this
may be preceded by Mrs. in brackets. II
she wishes still further to identify herself
che can write Mrs. George H. Smith below
her usual signature.
BY strange coincidence there was a
complete paralysis of street railway traffic
for an hour in Kansas City, No, the other
day. The stoppage was due to accidents
which had no connection with one an.
ether. Five lines, operating on eleven
streets, were all affected.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-04-10
PARAGRAPHS.

The President today appointed
Lorenzo Crouz, Nebraska, assistant
secretary of the treasury, vice Gen'l
Batcheler resigned.
356, 900 ounces of silver were pur-
chased to-day at prices ranging from
97.875 to 80.
The funeral Of the late p. Y. Bar
mum occurred to-day at Bridgeport,
Conn. The services were short.
In United States Circuit Court tn,
opinion was handed down by Judge
Knowles in the case of Northern Pa
cific Railway vs. G. w. Cannon, Ell
al, involving the title to land valued
at over half million dollars within
the city limits of Helena which the
Railway claimed rs part of it's land
grant. Decision virtually determines
the case in Cannon's favor.
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-04-10


l have said this much about the sun be
cause it is very natural to ask whether all
stars are like the sun? 1t used TO be
thought that they were; but l, for one, dc
not think this is so. When we come to
examine the bodies which shine in the sky,
those dim patches of gray light called
nebule rs we'll as many of the stars them
selves, the prism tells us that the light
which they send to us is very different
from the light sent to us by the sun, and
by other stars the light of which is exactly
like sunlight.
1t is fair to suppose that if the light sent
out is different the body which sends it out
must also be different in some way OF
anJther A great deal of work recently
done shows that probably many stars, in
stead of being like the sun, are built up as
the comets are, of enormous clouds or
swarms of little bodies, some of them, per.
haps, no bigger than grains Of dust, the
different quantities and qualities of the
light given out depending upon the motions
of these little particles, and the average
distance between them. So when we have
a great many of these little masses closely
packed together and moving rapidly they
will have an opportunity 20 strike one
another, and thus produce light and heat
In greater degree than can happen in
those other so called 'stars" where the
dust is sparser and the motion less rapid
j. Norman Lockyer in Youths Companion
Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1891-04-10

Spontaneous Combustion of the Body.
The following, taken from the memoirs
of Bianchini, originally appeared in The
Annual Register and is concerning the re-
markable case of combustion of the body
Of the Countess Bandi, OF the city of Ce-
scna, Italy One evening the countess felt
en- unusual drowsiness and retired early,
her maid remaining with her until she had
fallen asleep. Next morning when the
girl called to awaken her mistress she
found nothing but the charred remains of
the countess lying in heap in the middle
OF the floor; the unconsumed portions
feet, legs, hands and fingers-still glowing
with clear white heat.
In the center of the heap lay the head
the brain and chin being consumed, the
posterior portion of the Uranium, with the
parts above mentioned, being all that was
left of the lady except a small heap of
ashes. Two tallow candles that had been
blown out and left on the table were found
to be melted, the wicks remaining, which
clearly proved that they had not been con
sumed in the regular way. Nothing in the
apartment had been injured in the least by
the remarkable case of com mbustion that
had taken place within it's walls, but ev-
erything-f tapestry, bedclothes,
etc.-was literally covered with a peculiar
damp, sootlike substance which had even
penetrated the drawers of bureaus and
soiled the linen.
Articles in a dining room adjoining were
Also coated with the Shiny soot piece OF
bread in a cupboard being turned jet
black on account of it. This was given TO
n stray dog, but was refused as if it had
been poison The Register adds that while
the countess was not addicted to the use Of
strong drink, she had for years been sccus-
toned to daily bathe her body in campho-
rated spirits of wine