Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1891-01-21
PAYMENTS I'M KIND.
D80Eshodox Fees Taken by Yankee Law.
yer and an Edlnhnrgh Doctor.


EnoKsh odox Fees Taken bv a Yankee Law
yer and an Edinburgh Doctor.
"Send me side of the porkr' was
the conclusive reply of the American
lawyer when hog-stealer whom his
s1oquence had saved from conviction
proposed to reward the service with I'M
substantial thanks in default of dol
lars He cared as little for professional
etiquette as the old Edinburgh doctor
who plumed himself upon taking the
unorthodox fee of a sack of potatoes
from a moneyless patient. The man."
said he, was a poor man. We must
20 liberal. Cur Master enjoins it upon
us, and it is recommended in the ad-
mirable aphorisms of Hippocrates. The
man had no money, so l had to deal
gently with him, and take what he had;
though. as rule. l prefer the modern
To the ancient exchange, pecuntd in
stead of pecus."
Jenny Whitley owed his popularity
ss a strolling manager to his readiness
In accepting any thing eatable for as
many admissions as it was fairly worth,
making his treasury" resemble gen.
eFal provision store. At village on
The sea coast his patrons brought him
nothing but fish, and his company
threatened revolt; so the next evening,
sfter passing in nineteen people for a
Gbad apiece, Jenny stopped the
xxentieth conner with: 81 beg ya-r
ysrdon, my darling. I am extremely
prry to refuse you; but If we eat any
more fish, by the powers, we shall all
be turned into mermaids"
Somebody AYERS thai
'nalist an American
country iou has but one way of
Keeping his subscription book-after
this fashion: ''Tom Brown. eggs; Jack
Smith. fish; John Jones. butter; Pat
Brady, whisky; John Fitch, whisky;
Henry Gray meat; Bob Rowe, on house
rent; JEFF Pink, cash" There is some
truth in the libel, Kentucky editor an
nouncing that any person bringing to
the Office twenty pounds of pork, or ten
pounds Of pork sausages, or two bushels
OF sound Irish potatoes, or four bushels
OF sound turnips, or ten good chickens, or
ten pounds of good lard, or one bushel of
sound onions, should receive his journal
for twelve months-''for half the guam
THY, half the time;' while Dakota man
says: 1.-TWO weeks ago we published a
local saying we would take all kinds of
garden truck on subscription, the same
SIS cash, until further notice. Well,
this is the further notice. We have
got enough of all kinds of vegetables to
I'LL our cellar plumb full, and if we can
rassle a few groceries, there is no
doubt but that we will pull through
the winter in pretty good shape. We
have got it all figured out, and are
pretty certain of two meals day: and
tf our mother-in-law, who has just
come, doesn't eat any more than we
do, we can have three meals on Sun
days" Another Dakota journalist went
more willy to work. He offered to send
his paper for two years by way
CT prize to the farmer
sending in the best bushel of
Seets. potatoes, turnips or other vegeta-
b1es. The unsuspecting agriculs urisaa-~
took the bait, and the editor distributed
his prizes impartially among them. A
fsw of them got the paper free; and he
rsloiced in the possession of no end Of
the finest vegetables raised in the coun-
Cry. He had no occasion to envy the
gentleman who was so astonisbed at
receiving, as a years subscription to
his paper, half bushel of peas, a
piece of pork, AMI ton cents in copper,
that he straightway sat down and ed
fted a glowing leader upon 'the re-
SOURCES OF this great country and the
urusperity prevailing among the horny
handed sons OF toil.-Chambers' jour.
cal