The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-09-02

AVuilS IL OOluo ApOnpOuSil - 1Coi
I've visited Mr. Smith three times a
day, for a week. He is a very sick
man. Miss BrOwn-Naturally, by this
time.
Flimsy-I don't know how It is, but
The most wretched specimens Of human
ity invariably get the bestwives. Mrs.
Flimsy (archly)-0h, you fatterer.-
Boston Transcript.
Tramp (piteously)-Please help a
poor cripple. Old Gentleman (handing
him a quarter) How are you crippled,
my poor fellow? Tramp (moving away
rapidly)-Financially crippled, sir.
A Case of Dire Necessity: Mrs.
Kingsley-I see your church is going
to send away your minister for three
months. Isn't that a long time /?
Mrs. BingO-Yes. But We need rest.
Lille.
II may not be ours TO utter eonvinc-
ing arguments, but 1t may be ours to
live holy lives. II may not be ours to
be subtle and learned and logical, but
it may be ours TO be noble and sweet
and pure.-CGnOR FdrrGr.
Our Boarding House: Landlady-I
You are not looking well, Mr.. Dumley.
You should take more exercise. Dunn
ley wrestling with his steak There
is such thing, Mrs. Henbane, as too
much exercise.-EpOch.
A country editor having published
this paragraph. MRS. Blank is a very
pretty woman but she can't act" next
day got this note from the lady's man
ager: Dear Sir-You have beautiful
red whiskers, but you can't edit news
paper"
Stringency in the Money Market:
Jones-The times are very hard. 1t
is almost impossible to collect money
Just now. Smith-Whom have you
been trying to collect from? Jones
but several Of my friends have
been trying to collect from me.
The Secret of Ikelstein's Calm: Mrs.
Ikelstein Ron NIT der toctOr, keruck,
Solomon der paby ish schwollodt
halftollar. Mr.. /. (calmly)-Vos it
dot Won | left on der table? Mrs. IL
Yah, dot vOs it; hurry NIT der toctOr /!
Mr. Don't get Oxcited, Rajel, Id vOs
gounderfeidt.
Full Of Pluck: COuntryman Ito den
tistl-I won't pay nothin' extry fer gas.
Just snatch il out even if it does hurt |
Dentlst-You are plucky, sir. Let me
see the tooth. COuntryman = Oh, 'tain't |
me that's got the toothache; it's my |
wife. She'll be here in a mint
v. !. San.
Repentance of q general sort is not
worth the while. If you will regret
your sins, drag out your own particular
wrong doing and look at it. Do not
weep over Adams fall, or repent Of the
general .depravity Of man; but turn
with loathing from that which de6les
your own life.--EggIestOM.
Mr.. Sappy (alluding to a favored III
val)-Yes, George Is handsome and
clever, but so awfully conceited. Miss
Tompkins engaged to George But,
Mr.. Sappy, if you we're clever and
goOd-lOoking, would you not be conceit-
ed too? Collapse Of Sappy after brief
IN. I. Sun.
Once and Twice: SchOolmlstress-l
Lucy, have you spoken to-day without
leave? Lucy (shyly)-Yessum, wunst.
Schoohnistress Ito next child)-Mary,
should Lucy have said "wunst"? Ma
~ (eagerly)-NOmei SchoOlmistress
What ought she to have said? Mary
Jeweller (to Miss Porkpack who has
a pair of sleeve buttons for
ler betrothed)-Any initials, Miss I?
Miss POrkpack "a member Of the Chi
ago Literary Society Yes, forgot;
,ngrave the letter U. Jeweller-May
ask il it is Uriah or Ulysses, names
with U being so rare. Miss
2Orkpack-No; his name is Eugene
LOiCH Topics.
A bashful Scotchman, after a ten
months courtship, hinted his love thus:
Jean, / was here Monday NIGHT" 80
e were" she assented. "And / was
lere Tuesday and Wednesday NIGHTS"
'Ye we're that" "And here / am
gain, We see." "Well, mon, what
boot it, even if ye cam every nlcht ?"
What aboot it, did ye say, Jean 90
ried the astonished lover; "what aboot
t? Why, lass, div ye no begin to
nell a rat ?"
Brer Williams Presence of Mind
Rev. Abram Williams dining with
eacon)-Dish yere chick'n 8 des splen-
icious, Unk' Billy; y'own raisin' /
pose? Uncle Billy (embarrassed)-
Veil, no, not 'zackly Brer Ab'm. You
ee de wet weather kilt off all my
pring chick'ns, en- so las night II
Rev. Williams (hastily)-Yas, desc wet
unes is outdacious on de craps. Jes'
small piece mo- often de bres', Unk'
Billy, wild a little tech er de stufin-
Puck.
Very slight words and deeds may
ave sacramental efficacy if we cast
ur self-love behind us in order to say
T do them. And 1t has been well be-
eved through many ages that the be-