The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-12-31
JUMPED FOR LIFE.
He Gould Not Move Her TO Pity. But
She Moved him.
From the Ne'0 York Tribune.

She Moved him.
From the Nelc York Tribune
MADAM" said the tramp. as he put his
foot inside the door. which the housewife
had opened to his knock aud had begun to
shut again as soon as she saw him, 81 am
not beggar, | am an inventor. i have
discovered a simple process by which the
odor which onions spread through your
comfortable and elegant home while they
are being cooked can be entirely pre-
vented"
Eyes, welli"
81 have spent a great deal Of money,
madam, in experimenting toward this end,
but now that l have found is, am no
greedy monopolist. l will part with this
invaluable secret for a small considera-
tion. 4"
"Yes, wellr'
"If am not mistaken, madam he said
shifting the air IN an impartial manner.
You are cooking those over-fragrant but
nourishing vegetables at the present mo-
meat"
Eyes, wellgn
IL judge by your manner, madam, that
you are unwilling TO part with the ready
cash for my inventionp
Eyes. wellT'
AS l said before, l am no monopolist.
will tell you il. l will even tarry and in
struct you in its use, for one dish of those
onions, madam and he wiped his mouth
with a dirty hand and tried to get his other
foot inside the door, but the woman held it
fast.
81 perceive that you do not want my in
vention at all, madam" he said in deeply
injured tone; ''that you do not appreciate
It; that my efforts to relieve humanity of
the offensive odor Of onions have been
wasted entirely, so far as you are con-
cerned."
Eyes, wellF'
MADAM, when began to experiment
for my deodoIizer, l was a wealthy man, a
respected citizen, an office-holder and the
father of happy family"
Eyes, welli"
"Sparing neither time nor money in the
pursuit of the welfare of my race, failed
In business
"Yes, wellr'
"Worn out with the struggles to keep up
respectable appearance, my wife, the
faithful partner Of my joys and sorrows,
was called to her reward" and he snuftied
plaintively."
Eyes, wellFn
"Then blight seemed to fall on my little
brood, and one by one they dropped and
died.
Eyes, wellg'
"Next was left an orphan"
Eyes wellf"
"And then my mothersin-'
"Yes, well"
"My-madam, your cold and unfeeling
manner chills in me oil the instincts of a
gentleman. l have seldom, in telling my
sad story, got beyond my wife's death with
out the offer Of substantial assistance; but
you have let me run through my entire
family, and get mixed up with my mother
in-law, and still have given me only that
one stereotyped reply"
Eyes. wellp' =
"Weh, this and ne threw his whole
weight suddenly against the door.
The woman was not expecting il and she
gave way. In an instant the tramp was in
the hall, looking flt for murder. But she did
not quail.
I'M tell you what I'll do" she said. 81
am the champion woman jumper Of the
couDty-takes all the prizes at the fairs and
picnics-and can jump further than most
men. Now I'll bet you the best dinner my
kitchen can afford, including onions,
against your deodorlzing invention, that /
can jump further than you from off the
doorstep"
"Done," said the tramp
"You jump first,n said the woman, land
jump as hard as you can for warrant you
can cover lots or ground"
The tramp doubled up his ragged knees,
swung his long arms and jumped bursting
off his only suspsnder button, and landing
about eight feet outside the door. When be
turned he saw double-barreled shotgun in
the hands of the onion-cooker, and as she
covered him with it without a culver of her
muscles he departed swiftly without q
word, taking his unuttered secret with him.