davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
MIRTH GENERATORS.

EvEN a long lane wiz turn if it il
trod upon often enough.
YoUNG LADY Ito young man who
kissed her)-"That's very singular, sir"
Young Man-'Ah. well, allow me to
make it plural"'
"WHAF brought the wrinkles in that
mans face, papa?" Care" "Ohi
What brought the wrinkles in his coat,
pspa?" Want Of care" oh"
AK Irishman charged with an assault
was asked whether he was guilty.
''How can l tell, your honor, till have
heard the evidence?" was his reply.
GUs-"What makes them call these
things Manila cigars?" Harry-''Don't
know; l suspect it's because they make a
man iller than the domestic kind do"
"RAsTAs, you are charged with steal
irr Mr. Browns lawn mower. Have
you a lawyer" No, sab. didn't
realize huff on de sale oh dat mower,
jedge, to hiah counsel"
THAT is a cross section of sleep
ing car" explained the mechanical
draughtsman, as the irate passenger
shot some pyrotechnic vituperatives at
the offending porter.
A DOUBTFUL Compliment-He-''M May
take the liberty of calling on you this
afternoon, or do you prefer other COM
pany?" She-"As far as that goes, no
company is as desirable as yours"
DYING UNCLE intended bestowing
my property upon you while | lived,
but death has cut my purpose short. 4"
Nephew-"Don't mention it, uncle. I'll
gladly accept the will foS,the deed"
JOHN said Mr. Steingys wife, 81
wouldn't buy any more cheap trousers
if were you" why not?" This
last pair you bought are the identical
ones sold the ragman six weeks ago
for fifteen cents"
at does beat all, said Mrs. Bently,
''the things that girls get on their bon
nets these days. This paper speaks of
a hat with novel brim. The idea of
cutting up good books for such non
senser'
A New YORK street vender of little
paper-covered pamphlets was calling
out his wares the other day as follows:
Here VI are! Here y'are Book o Jokes.
One hundred jokes, five cents. One hun
dred jokes, all comic jokes, warranted
all comic jokes
Mrs. A-"What pleasant person Mrs.
Green is to visit. She always re-
ceives one SO courteously, you know"
Mrs. B-"Why, that's the only reason
that do not call upon her. 1t is sign
of vulgarity, don't you know, to appear
SO pleased to see visitors. 1t looks as
though you were not in the habit of re-
ceiving company"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
PITHY COLORED SAYINGS.
No Use bangin' de lame muI :.

No USE bangin' de lame mule.
No good tief what no know hide
You talk all day, dat no cook 'tater.
BETTER set in de mud dan fall in de
crick.
WHEN yo' sings don't yo' never shet
yo' mouf.
Eff you got no shoe don't tromple in
de brambil.
Yo' jess follow buzzard and 70 'boun'
fin dead boss.
Yo' BETTER look shark when de dog
no make bark.
WHEN de old man chop wood, watch
out for splinters.
You call niger black, and you no
mo white yourself
Fool around in de canebrake and
mebbe you find pipestem.
WHAFFo yo' chuck up rock? Mebbe
he fall down on yo own skull.
Don't you neber let loose de wildcat
to chase away dc house kitten.
BBER Bar he done got cotched By him
foot, Mister Man by him tongue.
"WHo my boss?' AK de copperhead
and de lightwood chunk he say Il is. +"
BLACK man sboot fru de bresh. Mebbe
he chase sake. mebbe snake chase nig-
ger.
FACE an OK behime, a mule befo',
but a rasldl no whars; ne don't got no
safe side.
SEE here, ease 20 daddy was inions,
20 nanny pepper, dat no reason why
20 is yam.
CASE yo chimbly done quit smoke il
GUNNER time, no pull her down; bimeb,
winter come. A tlanta Constitution.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

letters downward, upon the table; each
he makes the largest number of words
possible; all words commonly accepted
for use allowed; interjections, proper
names and foreign words are not al
lowed.
Scores are kept by each player, and
tho largest aggregate of words win.
This may also be played as a geo.
graphical game, making the largest pos
sible number of names of rivers, lakes,
mountains or cities.
Again, take sentences and cut them
into bits OF one, two or three words
each. For instance. take this sentence:
'sThere are thousand ways to go TO
Rome. but it takes long-legged horse
TO get there in one day" Divide it thus:
There area thousand ways-to go to
Rome-but it takes-a long-legged-
horse-to get therein one day.
Take other sentences and divide them
in similar fashion. Paste each division
upon card by itself Seyenty-eight
cards form a set. Mix up the lot and
place them in the center of the table;
draw fifteen, and out of them construct
sentences. Let the game require some
times the. shortest, sometimes the long
est possible sentences. This is de-
lightful and effective way of teaching
syntax, or the simple science of SEN
tence making.
The player wins the game whose score
is best. Yet, especially in teaching, the
extra points. Rules may be adjusted
according to the age and capacity of the
players.
Boxes in which games may be neatly
kept are indispensable, each game be-
ing placed in separate compartment.
Youths Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
COURT DECISIONS.

AN actress in Edinburgh brought suit
against Scotch newspaper for alleged
unfair criticism, claiming $4,000 dam
ages. The judge would not permit the
case to go to the jury, claiming that the
right of criticism belonged to the public
and the press.
AN Indianapolis church member who
subscribed to a church building fund
attempted to wriggle out of it by claim
ing that the contract was illegal as it
was made on Sunday, but the court has
decided that he must pay up.
AN Iowa justice of the peace didn't
actually fine a man Sl1 for declariHg
that the world was fat. but because he
knocked the postmaster down for in
sisting that it was round. 1t was a
narrow escape, though, and the defend
ant was cautioned to look out next
time.
CORPORATION COUNSEL CLARK, of New
York, decided that the coroner has the
right to investigate all deaths resulting
from or in any way attributable to the
use of Koch's lymph under section
1,773 of the consolidation act, where
the words unusual manner" give the
power to the coroner
THE court of queens bench in Dub lin
has just passed upon the rights of an
unborn child. 4 Nine Walker was in
a railroad wreck at Armagh, and the
child to which she subsequently gave
birth was deformed in consequence.
She brought an action i'm the name of
the child to recover damages. The
court decided against her
THE New York court of appeals has
decided that a lady, who lost cloak
while trying on suits in cloak store, is
entitled to recover the value of the gar
ment and $50 damages for the trouble
and irritation to which she has been
put. She laid the cloak on the counter
in sight of the clerks but when she
needed it it was gone. The court ruled
that the garment was temporarily in
care of the clerk.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
A Safe Investment.

Is one which is guaranteed to bring
you satisfactory results, or in case o.
failure return of purchase price. Or
this safe plan you can buy from our ad
vertised Druggist bottle of DR.. kings
New Discovery tor Consumption, 1t i.
guaranteed to bring relief in every case
when used for any affection of Throat
Lungs or Chest, such as Consumption
Inflammation of Lungs, Bronchitis
Asth. IA, Whooping Cough, Group, etc
etc. 1t is pleasant and agreeable to taste,
perfectly safe, and can always DO Deepen.
ded upon. Trial bottles free at Jos. I.
Benefits Drugstore.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
PAuLlNES TAME FROGS.
How a Little Girl Succeeded In Teaching
Them Funny Tricks.

How a Little Girl Succeeded In Teaching
Them Funny Tricks.
Last May Pauline went to visit her
Aunt Clara in the city. OF course this
was great treat for her, as she lived in
such a lonely country place, without
any brothers or sisters, or any children
to play with
Among other things that Aunt Clara
took her to see was a lot of tame
frogs, who did all sorts of funny tricks.
They pleased Pauline more than any
thing else she had ever beheld.
just as soon as she got back to the
country she asked John, the gardener,
to catch her some live frogs out of
Deacon Greene's big pond. 1t was sew
eral days before he succeeded in getting
them, but at last he called Pauline down
into the garden, and there he showed
her six lovely green frogs. Two were
very large ones, two were somewhat
smaller, and two were wee baby frogs.
Then Pauline carried them away and
went to work with will. 1t seemed a
long time before papa and mamma found
out what their little girl was about. But
imagine their surprise when, one day,
Pauline took them down to the big
meadow back of the farm, and then she
showed them six funny frogs. They
were hopping on their hind legs, two by
two, each one holding over its head
toadstool for an umbrella.
Pauline said the two large ones were
grandpa and grandma frogs; the next
size were papa and mamma; and the
very small ones, the baby frogs.
1t had been hard work to teach them.
but Pauline was very patient little
girl, and had great influence over ami
mals.-Little Men and Women.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
To FapnGpS!

Horse Bills and Sale Bills, of every
kind, printed at the Herald Office on short
notice and at reasonable prices.
4 free notice Of all bills printed given
in the Herald.
Our facilities for doing all kinds of
job Work are unsurpassed
If you cannot come in write out what
you want, state price you wish to pay,
send by mail, and we will put in shape
and guarantee satisfactory job
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
CONTEMPT OF COURT

From the Green Bag: A stranger
once walked into a Massachusetts court
and spent some time watching the pro-
ceedings. By and by man was
brought up for contempt of court and
fined. whereupon the stranger arose and
said:
"How much was the fine?"
Five dollars, replied the clerk"
"Well," said the stranger, laying
down the money, if that's all. I'd like
to jine in. I've had few hours expert
ence of this court, and no one can feel q
greater contempt for it tLan do, and |
am willing to pay for it,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
AMERICANS WITH TITLES.

London Truth: / once knew an
American minister. He was general.
| asked him one day how he became
one. He replied that he had been en-
gagged in the flour trade, and had been
general miller. ! knew another
American over here. He was Judge.
Are you,'' asked him, "a Judge OF
United States or of State court?"
Neither he replied Il have been
several times the judge at race meet
ing
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
EsTATE-JAnrs KrsnLr, deceased

state Of Wisconsin, Comfy Court Of Grant
County--ln Probate.
Notice - hereby given. that al the special
term OF the County Conrt to be held in and for
said County, at the Court House In the City OF
Lancaster in said County on the 9Th. Tuesday OF
March A d 1891 being the 31sti day Of March
1897 at the hour Of one clock In the afternoon,
the following matter will be heard and con
sidered
The application OF Joseph Dawson ~ admins
traitor Of he estate Of James hendle. deceased.
late Of P0tosi, Grant County, Wisconsin, for an
oder allowing his final account a. administrator
and for his discharge as such administrator, and
for an order assigning the residue Of said estate
to those by law entitled 10 the same.
BY order OF the Court,
"a GEO. b. CARTER
County Judge
Dated February g. 1851,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
Rheumatism Cured in a Day

Mystic Cure for Rheumatism and
Neuralgia radically cures in to days,
Its action upon the system is remark
able and mysterious. 1t removes at once
the cause and the disease Immediately
disappear. The first dose greatly ben
etits. 70 cents. Sold by Stone &
Hassell, Druggists, Lancaster 4Sly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Veni, Vidi. Vici! This is true Of Hall''
Hair Remover, for it is the great con
queror of gray or faded hair, making j
look the same even color of youth.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Itch, Mango, and Scratches on human
or animals cured in 80 minutes by Wool
ford's Sanitary Lotion. This never
fails Sold by Stone & Hassell Drug
gists, Lancaster. 4
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Life: Mr.. Godet Surveying the de-
bris on Broadway wish | lived in
Pompeii .
Mr.. Stillmac-"W Why, that town is as
dead as Philadelphia.
Mr. Gobet-'I know it; but he streets
there have only been torn up once in 2,
600 years.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

bleS. The COM
p a n y decides
how many games
shall be played.
The pairs who
win at each table
move toward the
head of the class;
those who lose
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

in the cut. The players grasp the ball
holding the string taut, raise it as high
as their arms will allow, and aim for the
ten-pins. 1t may seem at first thought
to be too easy, but experience proves
that it is much more difficult to make a
t'strike" in thi. way than by bowling.
1he rules are identical with the ordinary
g&me of ten-pins. This is, however,
much more convenient for use in the
house, and should not be lacking
among the list Of household games.
Cut and Make.-Tor quiet game
around the table this is one Of the very
best. 1t is like Logomachy, in princi-
pie. but better in some respects.
Gut from papers or books, of y0wels-
4. E. I, 0 and G six each; Of consonants
(-B, G, D, F. 6, II, I, II. y, +, Z, 5, T.,
~ and Y, four each; J. X Q, Y, \ and
u, one each, in al ninety-six Paste
fthese neatly upon pas aboard cards Of
Eniform size a color. Place the cards,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
Rare California Views.

Enclose stamp for catalogue Sam
pie Of views will be sent upon receipt q
twenty-five cents.
California Art Gallery, Santa Rosa,
Cal. 48ly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Chicago Inter Ocean: How did YOU
enjoy the opera last night?' asked flo
jack.
Not very we'll" replied Passifer.
'''rhe people in the next box prevented
me from hearing anything"
"They talk, did they?''
No, but they put on more airs than
the orchestra played"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
Tourists.

Whether on pleasure bent or business
should take on every trip a bottle o.
Syrup of Figs. as it actn most pleasant
ly and etfeetually on the Kidneys. liver
and bowels. preventing feyers. head
aches and other forms of sickness. Fol-
sale in soc and 81. bottles by all leading
druggists.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

made to indicate
the places where
the ten-pins are
to be set. The
arrangement t o f
the pins may be
the ordinary tri-
angle, or such a
one as is given
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

move toward the ounces scat at the foot
of it.
When the last game is played to COM
iplete the required number decided upon,
the pair which gains the seats at the
head of the class wins the honors of the
game. The winning is for the side, not
the persons alone, as in most games.
Those at the foot must don ounces caps;
to those at the head some prizes or
badges of honor are given.
! Parlor Ten-Pins.-These, too, may be
made with poclIet-knife, or turned
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
OUR YOUNG FOLKS.
HOMEMADE GAMES
An Interesting Psstime for Yide-Awake
Boys and Girls.

- A-tNAcSNtIs TOT hAGe-ANak 6
Boys and Girls.
Any boy who can use the saw, bit or
anger, hammer and glue, and who can
white we'll might build a framework
of any of these games, while his sisters
with scissors. bottle of mucilage and a
box Of ordinary paints, can decorate the
same, quite as tastefully as many of
those displayed.
This article will aim TO describe very
interesting games, both old and new
some of the old are far better than the
new-Of which young people do not
easily tire-games OF skill which help
TO develop and train the muscles at the
same time that they teach some of the
simple but essential forms OF instruc-
ton.
Pin is extremely interesting and
exciting Scr Skilled players. Young
children play it with equal interest.
While keeping the scores, which should
be done mentally, they learn to add
rapidly by fives. tens, twenties and thir-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
Now. Give Attention

To the purifration of your blood, for at
no season is the body so susceptible to
the benefits 10 be derived from a good
medicine, as in March, April and May.
Hoods Sarsaparilla is the peoples fav-
orite spring medicine, 1t stands une-
qualled for purifying the blood, curing
scrofula, salt rheum, ETC., regulating the
kidneys and liver, repairing nerve It's
sues, Strengthening and invigoration the
whole body, as well as checking the pro-
gress of acute and chronic disease, and
restoring the afflicted parts to a natural.
healthy condition. If you have never
tried Hood Sarsaparilla for your spring
medicine, do so this season.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

with a common
carpenters lathe,
For a parlor or
play-room, if pos
sible, fasten by a
hook in the cell
ing above, or to
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

the gas fixture II It IS sufficiently high,
a stout cord to which a league ball or
one made of wood is fastened. Place
the ten-pins upon board, directly be-
meath the hanging rope. The ball must
be suspended at just the right length to
clear the board. On this board dcts are
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

ties. The cut
gives a clear idea
of the form of the
board, a b o u I
t W e n t y eight
inches So Il are.
L h e pins are
about four inches
long and one
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

the T a m, STOCKING RESOLED.
matching A to A; open the seam and
catch-stitch each raw edge smoothly
down. Pin the sole to the stocking
placing and a together, and and b;
hold the bottom toward you and sew the
edges together, disposing Of the little
extra fitness smoothly around the toe.
That is all that is necessary for thin
cotton or Isle hose for summer wear,
or for soft wool ones soft flannel, cut
bias makes nice soles for the latter but
when repairing heavier hose it is well to
open the seam all around, and finish it as
he heel seam is finished, After little
practice, one can cut down pair and
cut the bottoms without measurement
or pattern, haste the seams. stitch them
on a machine with Loose tensionl, and
have them ready to wear, whole and
neat in less time than it takes TO mend
one large rent; and the same pair may
be cut down two or three times if they
are the unshaped ones; that is, not mar
rowed in at the ankle-an item worth
thinking 81 where there are children Of
different ages
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
18th day of April, A. D. 1891.

one O'Clock in the afternoon al the front door OF
the Post office in the village OF IL, zeton, in the
town OF Wyalusing, Grant County, Wisconsin.
offer for safe. and sell at public auction to the
highest and best bidder or bidders for cash the
following described mortgaged premises, to-wit !:
The south west quarter Of section one a. ana
the north east quarter Of the north west qnaiter
Of section twelve (i2). all in township No. i've %
North OF range six (6) west, in Grant County
Wisconsin.
Dated this 9th day Of February. A u. 1891.
JACOB SHRAKE.
I'd NJ Lowry Plaintiffs ATTY. Referee.
+. - Address Lancaster, Grant County, Wis
consin. 1-6
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
DOMESTIC ECONOMY.
How to Supply Old Hosiery with New and
Durable Soles.

Durable SoIes.
When stocking gets beyond neat, re-
spectacle mending, time spent piling
darn upon darn is simply thrown away,
and the result is usually irritating to
wear. Instead of doing this, cut away
all of the worn portion, heel sole and
toe, as shown in the illustration by the
dotted line from A to b crossing the
foot of the stocking sketched; from the
part cut away pare off crescent-shaped
piece around the toe Shown by the low
er dotted line) and use the remainder as
guide for a pattern OF new sole to re-
place it. First cut it open straight down
the back Of the heel and just around the
curve to the fiat bottom (be sure not to
cut too farl: spread it out smoothly on
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Waiter Gas guest Uses from his chair
and moves awayl-Beg pardon, but
haven t you forgot something, sir?
Guest (not pleased with his dinnerl-
Not at all l may forgive, but never
fOr0et
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

Fishing poles with lines and hooks, one
dozen in all, are neatly made by using
rattan for the poles which should be
about twenty-eight inches long. Aneat
little bow Of bright ribbon is tied with
the line to the pole. A bent wire or pin
serves for hook
The game may be played in simplest
! housekeeping the score for both sides,
and awarding the game to the side that
wins the highest score-say one, three
OF, five hundred, as the players may de-
eide, first If the party is large, the
class game may be played wish several
sets OF players at as many tables-four
in each set. Sides are chosen, and the
players draw for their places at the TIA
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19

half inch in diameter, except the center
pin, which is one foot long. With an
auger or bit bore through the board at
the points where the dots appear in the
cut. Whittle the pins to the right size
to fit closely in the holes. Dip their
points in glue before placing them.
Drive brad or two through the board
into each pin on the under side, and set
away to dry for several days before
using. The numbers should be painted
on the board as indicated.
Rings, twelve in number, and about
six inches in diameter, are easily made
from rattan or bent ash neatly and firmly
fastened where the ends Join, then
wound with different colors of worsted-
four Of each color.
4 Adult players should stand at least
fourteen feet from the board. The
scores may be kept for two or more
players, but for really interesting and
exciting game players should be chosen
by sides, and the points of the game
sharply contested The rules are iden-
teal with bowling
Anglers Game differs little from
"Fish Pond" In the latter the fish are
shaped and colored to resemble fish. In
this they are wooden cubes about one
inch square on either side.
Into one side of each cube double
wire, brad or pin is driven, by which
the fish is caught. Upon the opposite
L. -. e
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-03-19
Legal Notices.
EoREcLosrRE SALE.

= ORhCLOSI RE SALE.
STATE or WISCONSIN, COUNTY or CHANT, sss
In CIRCUIT COURT
PETER GAsEER, Plein:itf,
VS.
Jacob Shrake as admins
TRAITOR de bOBis non OF the
estate Of George DOnau.
deceased AMI Michael
DOMAIN. Defendants
Notice IS hereby given that by virtue of and
pursuant to Judgment OF foreclosure and order
of sale made in the above entitled action rendered
by said court at the general October term there
Of FOR the year 1890, held at the Court House In
The city Of Lancaster, Grant County, Wisconsin.
commencing on the 14th day Of October, A. %.
1890 and which judgement and order % sale WIS
modified by an order and judgement made by
said Court, in said action at the General Feb.
ruary Term thereof for the year 1891, held at
rai court house In ssid county on the 18th day
Of February. A d 1891, and on the 24lh day OF
February A. d. 1891