The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-11-11

reporting his whereabouts between mid.
night and 4 a. m.
A Morning Call: Tubbley Dash
fully)-Is Miss BangIey in? Maid :
She IS, but she is engaged. Tubbley
(who settled things last night)-I
know It; I'm the young man.
DIR. Bolus-Ilaye you any objection
to my calling in a consulting physician ?
Exasperated Patient-Just 20 and call
in as many accolplices as you need to
complete the assassination.
Schedule Time: Patient Old Lady
TO elevator boy reading dime novel;
How often does the elevator 20 up, SON
ny? Elevator Boy-It goes up at the
end Of every chapter, ma'am.
Our Chemist (proudIy,-This is my
oldest boy, Mr.. 0'IIoOlihan. Mr.. OIL.
Faith, Mr.. Pestle, it didn't want
anybody 10 tell me that. / can see
your own liniments in the face aV HIM.
Sharp Practice Of German Ladies /:
Barkins-There are said TO be half a
million more women than men in Ger
many. BraInley-Yes, they do that to
eyade the military requirements Of the
government.
DR.. Pillsbury-All you need, my
dear sir, is open air exercise. This lit
tie book, physical Culture for the Mil
lions" is Just what you ought to study.
Patient But, doctor DR.. Pillsbury
Well? Patient wrote that book.
A Bright Prospect: Weinstein-
Landmeyer, vos in luck. Landmeyer
How vOs dot, key? Weinstein-I
haf been occepted by Guggenheimer's
widow. Nose Guggenheimer vas yust
my size, INT you know vOt q yardrope
dot feller had, Yakey.
Presence of Mind: Willie-What
makes you come to our house so often,
Mr.. IIanklnson? Do you want TO
marry our Alice? Alice taken by
surprise, but realizing that Mr.. Hank
inson must come to the point now)-
Willie, you impertinent boy, leave the
room.
Mr. Batby-Next to Browning,w which
of the English poets do you most adj
mire? Miss Beansworth (of Boston)1
Scott and Wordsworth: but for a
stea y mental died, nourishing but not
stimulating. give me Crabbe's Tales.
Mr.. POrkpack (of Chicago. catching
only her last wOrds)-Jeeruslem, what
a diet. no wonder she's thin.
Bette (sadly to her Juvenile admirer)
papa says Pm too young to
have a sweetheart, and you mustn't
come here so much. Willy (stoutly)-l
| amt 'iraid Of your papa, Bette. He
thinks he can scare me because he is
such a big dealer in lumber. Bette
Yes, but he deals in shingles too, Willy
big fiat shingles. Willy turning away |
sorrowfully)-That so?
The New York san thinks that !
young people should never kiss until
after they are married We wish Mr..
Dana would tell us what a youth is TO
do when h. tremblingly asks "Will you
be mine ?" and she softly whispers
YES" It is our inalienable opinion
that If God ever made a kiss for any
thing in this world, He made it for
that supreme moment. We have spok- |
en.-I'uck.
Ever Judge Of men by their profess
Sions. For though the bright moment
Of promising IS but a moment and can
not be prolonged, yet, if sincere in its
extrayagant goodness, why |
trust him, and know the man by it. III
say not by his performance, which is |
half the worlds work, interfere as the |
world needs must with ITS accidents |
and circumstances the profession was
purely mans own. / Judge people by |
what they might be- not are or will
be. -BroWaing.
The Ne,c HareM Journal made a |
curious jumble Of two items. One
read: A large cast iron wheel, reyoly-
ing 900 times a minute, died in this
city yesterday, after a long and painful
illness. Deceased was q prominent
Mason of high degree.
The other paragraph declared: J..
McFadden, of Newport, exploded in
Wardner 4 RusselPs mill, at Crystal
Lake, Illinois, on Saturday, injuring
several workmen, and badly damaging
the factory.
SIN in man is 80 light that scarce the
fine of a penny is imposed while IN
woman it is so heavy that no repent
ance can wash 1t out. You proud mat
rons in your May Fair markets, have
you never seen a virgin sold or sold
me? Have you never heard of q poor
Rayfarer fallen among robbers, not a
Pharisee to help him?-of q poor
woman fallen more sadly yet, abject in
repentance and tears, and q crowd to
Itone her? / pace this broad Baden
walk as the sunset is gliding the hills
'ound about, as the orchestra blows its
merry tunes, as the happy children
augh and sport in the alleys, as the
amps Of the gambling palace are light
d up, and the throngs of pleasure seek
RS stroll, aud smoke, and firt, and
lum; and wonder sometimes, is it the
sinners who are most sinful? Is it
,oor Prodigal yonder amongst the bad