The Princeton union., 1891-03-05
THE HOUSE OF THE DEATH.

lpon one OF the principal squares
of the city stood the great philan
thropic establishment founded by
Mr.. Richard UttereX. It's majestic
front was no less than 200 feet long;
there were six rows of balcony win.
-dows, and over the principal entrance
a sign in gilt letters announced that
this splendid building was "Euthan-
asia Villa"
1t was to this institution that those
who were disgusted with existence
came to seek euthanasia; of course it
was intended exclusively for disgust
ed ones with dollars, for those who
were not blessed with this worlds
goods could carry out their sinister
designs without the assistance Of
fered to the guests of Euthanasia
Villa. But, for the unhappy posses
sors OF millions, Mr.. Richard Utterex
was really a benefactor.
Each day at least three dshearten-
ed mortals came and knocked at his
door; this is only a fgurative way
ofspeaking, for the door remained
continually open. This is how the
business was cOnducted:
One day young man entered the
office. Two clerks at once arose to
meet him. The stranger advanced
three steps. Naturally he was very
pale and tottering. An easy chair
was pushed toward him; he dropped
into it, and caressed, from time to
time, the small carved deaths heads
that ornamented the end OF the
arms. He threw a glance around
the office, which was hung in black
cloth.
The clerks made the young man a
low bow in an automatic fashion;
then, without giving him time to re-
ply to their polite salutation or to
explain the object of his visit, one of
them asked him, in an obsequious
voice:
"What manner of death have YOU
>chosen?"
Prepared as he must have been for
some such question. the desperate
young man could not repress an in
voluntary shudder. The clerks ap-
peared to be much surprised, and, as
the guest did not become calm at
once, they went up to him with the
same automatic step, and without
saying a word, looked at him. This
proceeding had the desired effect.
The young man felt that he was in a
well-conducted establishment, and
this reassured him.
One Of the clerks said: "Do you
wish to see the prospectus?"
Il beg your PARDON" said the
young man, but he quickly con-
.tinued: THE prospectus? Oh, yes,
certainly, the prospectus"
Then, with the discreet manner of
a waiter in fashionable restaurant
who seeks to learn the guests pre-
ference-Pomard or Sauterne-the
clerk handed the young man a richly
bound album, wherein were described
the dlS'1rent modes Of death furnish
ed by the house. The enumeration
'of thfs various methods plunged
the reader into shuddering astonish-
sment. At first he ran over them with
his finger rather than with his eve,
stopped here and there, amused bv
the marginal illustrations; then he
began again, reading seriously this
time, without, however, coming to a
'dicision. Certainly, hanging had it's
charms, but what poetry there was
soul departs with the breath of the
tuberose! And the poisons, rooms
Nos. 4 to 1O-a vast choice!' And the
Indian curare-the prick of a pin in the
heel or elsewhere, and the Nirvana
But here are the lost diseases! Al
the lost diseases! TO contract by
.;artifcial means leprosy or the black
death, to offer to the practitioners O
the present day, whom the disappear
ance ofthese "affections'' renders in
.consolable, the occasion of studying
them ''from the life," to carry
away in dying the consolation
that you leave in your re
mains q whole field OF delicat,
experiences! That is without douh
1incomparably more noble than deaf.
Iby laughter, the simple idea of which
gives you a nauseau and dishonor.
the ingenious enumeration of Mr.
Richard Utterex. But there are i'll
natured person who would be offend
ed at this prospect. however gloriou
it may be, of having these written OF
their bodies; they prefer a sort O
saristocracy of silence. What coul,
'be the lancing of veins in g warn
bath? .- i...