Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1891-01-23
NO. t..

these enigmatic words, The tariff is not ,
tax
WIN this purely negative evidence we
nave had to content ourselves until the last
decade Al length the problem has b.ap
solved. IL is know II that the tariff was a
kind OF TIN plate used in war as a proter
tive armor, very properly being supposed
70 nave some magic powers rendering its
wearer invulnerabe 10 that deadly wenpou
known as the tax. The proclamation
therefore, Of Chieftain Mckinley was n
declaration Of war calling upon his clans
men TO put on their protective armnr and
go forth against the foe
This IS not a mere theory. At the foot
OF Lake Michigan excavations have brougbt
to light the ruins Of what must at one time
have been quite a considerable town Here
has been unearthed a vast deposit of Tin
cans. On each is stamped the unmistaka
Die words, p. Armour This is evidently
the protective armor or tariff used by the
Yam Nee warriors when they marched
forth IN defence Of their infants and their
industries
What became of the Yam Kees is nm.
known. Whether they were exterminated
by our ancestry or absorbed by them can
not be ascertained '
Leaving this obscure subject the professor
sluded briefly to curious theory that has
recently been broached as to the origin of
our own race.
1T has long been accepted as a matter of
course that the Irish race originated on the
table-lands of Manhattan Island where
they long have ruled From this cradle of
the race they sent forth colonies to people
this continent, and afterwards other colon
les across the sea, establishing the Europe-
irish family of nations. This has been re-
ceived as something as much beyond dis
pute as the levity Of astral bodies. or any
other doctrine of science. But of late the
astounding proposition has been put forth
that the Irish originated in Ireland. an
island lying y north latitude and 30 Of
longitude east from Duluth This theory
IS interesting chiefly from its novelty and
IT'S picturesque absurdty, it being well
known that Ireland is the only spot on
earth where no trace Of Irish occupancy
past or present can be found
The professor closed his paper with an
alusion TO the curious myths which have
hoated down from dim antiquity, and which
give US gllmpses into the minds of our
primitive ancestor For after all. 10 the
sympathetic archwologist the thoughts of a
people are second in Importance only to the
contents of their kitchen middens. As an
illustration of this he gave the ancient
myth of Jay Gould
jay Gould was mortal of small stat
ure hut of Unsuitable appetite. Once the
gods invited him to banquet and in lest
offered him the earth Jay Gould swallow
ed 1t at mouthful, and carefully adjusting
his napkin remarked that after so excel
lent relish he was ready for something TO
eat. 1t Is needless to remark that this is a
sun myth
Jay Gould is the sun whose morning
radiance daily swallowed the earth. and
then cried for more so that a hint of this is
gwen IN his name, gould or gold, signify
ing the golden effulgence of the luminary:
or, II preferred, Jay Gould may signify
the darkness swallowing up the earth. For
TINS purpose the same argument holds good.
needing only TO be reversed, which can be
readily done. Indeed these reversible arg
uments are a great help to the scientific
mythologlst IN reconstructing the life of
prehistoric man 1t enables him to achieve
an immense variety of deductions. with A
great economy of fact. 1t goes without
saying that through this artless tale primi-
tive man also expressed his perception of
the procession of the equinoxes and other
'uAiSelVo' dlSO lHe less an
struse fact of the change of the seasons.
The myth was found useful in preserving
the important observation that winter swai-
lows all the verdure of the earth. When
thus interpreted philologists make use of
the well-known linguistic law of translit
Grafton by which G and c are interchange
able. The cold is thus seen to devour all
things. This explains also that alluson in
the myth to the low stature of Jay Gould
as 1t shows that primitive man had observed
that the lower the Thermometer the more
biting the cold
1T also throws light on an obscure bit of
folklore IN that proverbial expression
which has come down from remote antiqu-
ty and which alludes to the extreme frigid-
ity ef the day when Jay Gould gets left.
BY dropping the initial consonant, as
was naturally done in the course of time,
the my tn at length entered into a new cy-
Gle. From a mere native myth it took on
a moral and didactic meaning, which has
endeared 1t to the hearts of the clergy and
made 1t extremely useful in SOLDERING the
too exuberant spirits of youth. The myth
represents old age devouring youthful van
tiles. All things earthly grow old. Gould,
or the old will finally possess the earth.
How true this is
1t is thus TO be seen that primitive man,
even in the nineteenth century, possessed
the germs of a philosophy and had some
FAINT apprehension of self-evdent facts