davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

he said, until he gives his na.ne aud
address,"
II don't see what you want with my
name and address," sail Al, mildly Is
! could u haze as maay acquain.
tanccs a:-ea'!y ~ ! kaow what To do
with. dom want W extend my cali
ing list Let me ou.. X You please.
am going 70 walk"
Both men planted themselves in the
doorway and refused 20 let me pass.
DO you mean 70 say" cried. ''that
you arc going 70 attempt 20 stop mo
from going out?'
"Show your season ticket, or give
your name and address"
II Will do neither one nor the other"
"rhen you stay here till you do"
II shall do nothing Of the kind. You
let me pass How dare you attempt to
stop me? Have you warrant for my
arrest? II you have not, then advise
you not to put your hands on me-
John" said the ticket man TO the
porter, Ego and get policeman"
John bolted out Of the door while the
other stool in the doorway. and moth
ing was said Tor few moments
Cant this matter be dxed up?"
said. persuasively.
mo. Il can't"
isn't there any way out OF III"
mo, there isn't"
"Oh, WELL" ! said, with sigh, II
suppose shall have to take the conse-
qucnces What are they, do you hap
pen to know"
1T will depend upon what the judge
says" he answered, shortly
"Well, now" | said, considingly, II
am going to let you into secret.
think ! will manage to square you and
John and the policcman-all three.
Such things have been done. you
know"
The man gave an indignant "humph."
1T has gone too far for that" he
said, grufiiy. and the next moment John
appeared. painting, with policeman.
whats all this?" said the officer Of
| the law.
This man tried TO pass the gate
without season ticket
''Oh. never did anything Of the
Sort
And refuses to give his name and
address, and srys we haven't any right
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28
INFANTS LIVING AND DEAD.

How the Flesh and Islood Bahy II Taxed
For the Benent Of Infant Industries.
Infant industries have been objects
81 solicitude with tariff makers since
the first American tariff bill was passed.
Many Of these infants nre now 100
years old and most Of them have passed
the age Of 81. but they still figure as
infant industries, in the language Of
the tariff makers and in that Of the
stump speakers who shrek for higher
and continued protection to these wards
Of the state. Il might be thought that
70 men 50 tender toward these strap
ping infants OF trade the real wailing
and helpless infants that are born into
the United States every minute Of
every day in the year would DO equally
objects Of solicitudc Nothing Of the
sort On the contrary, the strain upon
the sympathics Of tariff makers made
BY the demands Of infant industries
has left those Legislators absolutely in
different 10 the claims Of real flesh and
blood babyhood Indeed. the flesh and
blood infants are taxed like all the rest
Of us in order that the infants Of iron,
steel. wool. wood, leather, fax and
what not may he sumptuously fed.
clothed and housed. Whatever the
flesh and blood infant wears or eats is
taxed for the benefit Of these lifeless
infants Of trade.
Flannel j. a necessity to the flesh and
blood infant. and one might have ex-
pected to find flannel on the free list Of
4 tariff bill framed BY the professed
lovers Of infnnthocd- Not at all. The
baby's nanucl Is taxed, just like It's
fathers cont and is mothers gown.
Here n what the law provides: Elan
ncls worth 30 cents pound, duty los
per cent; fanncls worth from 80 70 20
cents per pound, duty 81 per cent; fan
ncls worth from 20 TO so cents per
pound, duty ioi per cent; flannels worth
from 50 70 80 cents per pound duty
from 50 to 1913 per cent, according q
weight and other qualities; fiannels
worth from 90 TO 80 cents per pound,
duty from IS to 50 per cent; flanael'
worth above 50 cents per pound. duty
i0S per cent.
Thus II the nesh and blood baov
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28
HUMOROUS.

-Tom-"IIavc you asked BESSIE ye.?'
Jaclx-"Yes." Tom-''what did she
saw" Jack-'That she would take
vanilla. ~. Y. Herald.
Mrs. P.-"Thcy say that Mr.. Hay.
who used to sing SO much. has lost his
voice." Mr.. Pr shouldn't think
he'd offer much Of reward. Truth.
The initiated believe that half the
pleasure Of camping out consists in Sec
ing how miserab BILE your fellow campers
can be under unfavorable circum-
stances. -Somervill Journal.
Hoffman Howes-.You remember
Jack Eastman, who married Miss Ter.
magant last year. don't you? He's
dead" Murray Hill-.'Out Of the fry
ing-pan into the fire. eh?"-Kate Fields
Washington.
-Ridgewood. Too.-Small Boy
Somebody come quick and catch this
hydrant." All the What's
the matter with it?" Small Boy-"It's
running" (Small boy promptly fol.
lows it, example. )-Brooklyn Eagle.
--Hostcss-sTc he. beg pardon.
Mr.. Downcast, but really the New
England custom Of having pie for
breakfast seems very funny" MI.
Downeast-"Ah. madam. II you could
taste New England pies you'd want
them three times day"
She Was Good Cook. -Treshwed
(pcttishly) - can't see why you don't
cook as well rs mother did" MrA
Freshwcd latter a pause) LETS see.
George. dear. think you told me that
your father died soon after You were
born" Frcshwood-'Yes; dyspepsia
| killed him."-Wcst Shore.
--Mauitou 800 Early in the season: Ac
| quaintance-s'EIave you any relatives
| with your Young Mr.. Seekingawife-
mo" Later In the season: Another
| Have you any relatives
here?" Young Mr.. Seekingawife-
| ayes, nine sisters. Colorado Sun.
| They were sitting together on =
| bench in one Of the public parks when
: gentleman well known for his phi.
lanthropic practices passed them
"That man played . mighty mean
| trick on me yesterday" said one Of
| them. what did he do?" Woke me
| out Of nice, comfortable sleep TO tell
me where could get work. "-Detroit
| Free Press.
| A well-lnown dentist tried hard t.
collect q bill. but after many ineffcct-
| ual efforts said to the debtor: ~ do
| not intend TO send you any more bills.
| and don't intend 70 suc you; but there
| Il one thing want 10 tell you. Every
time You cut on piece Of bccfstcak
| and pass Il 70 your wife. want you 70
| remember that she II not chewing that
| beef with her teeth, nor with your
teeth. but with my teeth" In two or
| three days he received check. Tho
motion 81 those doubly false tcsth IN
his wife's mouth was TO much for the
husband. --pemorsst's Monthlv
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

70 put our hands on him, SO thought
I'll get somebody that had"
Refused my name and address" ]
cried, in astonishment
Yes, and tried 70 square me when
John went for you; said he'd square all
three of us
The policeman. it seemed to me.
rather frightened up at this sugges-
ton.
what did you try to do that for?"
said the officer.
Il say didn't try to do it at all"
Didn't You say you had season
tickct?'
Certainly did, and have it."
"Wcll. then, why don't you show it?"
why don't they ask for it?'
Here John broke in and said: II
heard him ask you forit dozen times. ="
..Oh. John. john" cried, how can
You say such thing?'
"WelI.' said the policeman, III had
season ticket l would show II, II I
were you"
Now, that" said TO the officer, is
the first sensible remark have heard
this morning. never thought Of that
way out OF the trouble. What they
seemed 70 be anxious for was my name
and address Don't you think that they
ought to have asked me for my ticket
II they wanted TO see IL II You don't
see what you want ask for il, you
know"
The officer looked at the ticket man
and the porter. The ticket man
shrugged his shoulders and said he
would like very much TO see the season
ticket. didn't look like the sort Of
person who carried season tickets.
..Oh. all right" said. pulling out
my purse; there You are II doesn't
look very much. but Il costs . good
deal
The ticket man took Il IN his hand
and examined it. turning IL over and
over with bewildcrcd air Of man
who had been hit suddenly with club.
Now" said to the officer, don't
you think that it's rather cheeky Of
these people to prevent me from going
out, and To make the assertion to you,
respectable officer Of the law, that !
had no season ticket, when you see I
have? It's good for three months
longer yet. Here they drag Won from
your manifold duties TO arrest per-
fcctly innocent man, and act in this
crazy way to patron Of the linc-a
first-class patron. too"
The policeman shook his head dub
iously and said he really couldn't un-
dcrstand IL.
.Wcll." ! answered, lyon are wit
ness TO their chargs that had no sea-
son ticket Now. I say this matter j.
not going to end here"
"Oh. WE'LL" said the policeman sooth-
ingly, ~ wouldn't b. TOP harl Il !
were you"
THE matter" repeated, ''cannot
end here. think that It's 20 early IN
| the morning these men are not rightly
awake yet, and think they should be
Weakened up. think that we had bet
| ter have drinks al round. as the morn
| Ing Is very damp and disagreeable.
What do you think?~
The policeman smiled, the ticket man
looked relieved, and 80 We ended II
that way.--Luks sharp u Detroit
Free Press
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

An interesting investigation into
the cost Of labor and materials In manu-
featured products has just been com
pletcd by the bureau OF labor statistics
Of Massachusetts, IL completely re-
flutes the doctrine Of the McKinleyites
that the cost Of labor Is the chief item
in the cost OF manufactured goods and
that the tariff is levied solely 70 equal
lie labor cost here and abroad This
report shows that the cost Of labor
represents only 20 per cent Of the cost
OF the product, while tee cost Of the
protected materials is 0s per cent. or
over twice as much. The average rate
OF duty under the Mckinley tariff Is 30
per cent. and Is largely added TO the
price Of the goods made. Tariff re-.
formers aim to decrease the cost Of ma
terials BY making them free, thus not
only increasing the wage Of labor. but
decreasing AZ the same time the total
cost OF production. workmen will
thereby be benefited in two ways, BY
getting more money for their work and
more goods for their money. Il Is for
the workmen 70 decide which they
want
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

The grave Of Oliver Goldsmith, q.
the precincts Of the Inner Temple. II
one Of the neglected graves Of England
The engraved letters are becoming dim
and the tablet Is scratched.
-Stanley's contract with the Ameri-
can publishers Of his book called for
$4,000 in royalty. II Is now authort-
tatively stated that he has received
from them the additional sum Of SAL
900. and that Maj. Pond paid 70 him
some ninety thousand dollars as his por-
tion Of the proceeds Of the lecture tour.
The German empress went shop
ping In London. Her purchases includ-
cd beautiful hand-em broidcrcd cover
let Of Italian dssign, supposed 70 b
two hundred years old. for which she
gave forty-Rvc pounds, and : very
handsome satin quilt reproduction
Of an old pattern embroidered In soft
u blended tones Of terra Gotta and gold
which cost forty pounds.
ALLEN O. Thurman IL said to Be
breaking down physically. He takes
no exercise at all. Since his retirement
from public life he hassgot into the way
Of shutting himself up in his library,
reading nearly all night, aud then re-
firing so late as not to rise before noon.
His wife is i'll enough to be confined to
her bed. but she tries earnestly TO per-
suade the 'Old Roman" TO take moro
outdoor air.
That old bourbon. the London Sat-
urday Review, thus protests against :
new spelling Of the name Of classical
author: For men Of letters who are
scholars and scholars who are men Of
letters there is no such vocable as
'vergir in the world. nor ever will be.
'vergilius' in Latin. IL you like (you
needn't but II you lile). But Virgil
in English, absolutely, peremptorily.
without stay Of Judgment, without
leave to appeal"
There is just faint possibility that
babies may supersedc as fashionable
pets the pampcred lap-dog. The duchess
Of Portland has taken an odd and, per-
haps. unaccountable fancy to be very
proud Of her baby daughter and to avail
herself Of every opportunity of having
| the little woman with her. When the
| duchess opened the great Kensington
bazaar recently baby Lady Victoria was
| proudly displayed to the public in her
| mothers arms Whatever is English
1, goes" and why not this?
] The late Mrs +. L. Davenport was
| . most charming and estimable wom-
an. She was a very beautiful girl
| when, as Mrs. Vining, she met and
married the actor Davenport Her
daughter Fannie has had some claim
to good looks, but it appears to have
peen an instance Of mother prettier
than a pretty daughter" All Of her
6ve daughters acquired regulations on
the stage. and her two sons have made
names for themselves in their profess
sion.
London Punch reached its fiftieth
birthday recently. In all this time il il
said that IL has never contained vulgar
or immoral illusion by pen or pencil; Il
has been pure and respectable sheet
1t has reflected the signs Of the timeA
It has been patriotic In its spirit. IL
mas encouraged the artists who have the
power to put humor into caricature. A
writer in the Contemporary Review
points out that every person who had
genius as q comic artist has drifted into
the company Of Punch artists and
writer's during the last fifty years
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

III over the west end OF l. ndon until
was dead tired aud ready TO go to
lcep on any doorstep. l had put on
he Oldest coat had and wore on my
lead villainous- looking slouch cap.
Now. there il nothing which gives .
nan such n woe-begone. hangdog ap-
bcarance as an old ana bad SLOUGH cap.
had no collar on and my boots were
o~crcd with the mud Of various dirty
horoughfares. A man may he meas
Ircd by his SOUL rs DR.. Watts held. but
ID 70 date the outside world insists on
Judging person mainly by his appear
ncc. and my appearance was decided
N against me that morning.
came to . railway station on the
inc over which hold a first-cl ass sea-
on ticket. and saw that it had been
hist opened and that the gnteman was
awning at having TO get up so early
b the morning. so l thought | would
nike the first train home and go to bed
Ike reputable citizen. was evident
tho first conner and as ! passed the
pan he held ont his hand and said:
Ticket, please.
II have season." answered sleep
v. as that is my usual reply to such .
Question.
II will look a. your season ticket, II
ou please said the man politely.
Sleepy as l was. this remark awoxe
be "a the fact that was disreputa-
le looking citizen.
"Vhy do you want to see my season
clxctc" said. lit is very unusual to
hk for il"
Perhaps" replied the man; never
helcss. ali tickets must be shown. sea-
Dn and others"
II have never been asked for my sea-
bn ticket, and have Travelled on this
)ne for months"
II will look ct your season ticket, II
bu plcnse.-
.Ycs. but tell me why. You surely
I think that would try 70 cheat
-ai'v<ay company. Do ! look like .
no est uiQn?'
he railway mans face was impcr
babN tut there was an increasing
nncsA -bout tho lips lie waivec
question u my dishonesty by say
nothing nbout IT,
y would like TO see your season
l<et. II you please"
III don't want 10 take II out on Z
Imp. foggy morning like this l said
a tone Of expostnlation. 1T Is Z
Ice. ornamental bit Of white leather
painfully stamped in gold, and it cos
good deal Of money, and / woule
lthcr not expose IL to the morning air
you don't mind.
The man said nothing. but looked q
e fixcdly and seriously. the lines
bout his mouth getting frmer ant
rmcr
hesitated for moment and thez
hid "Oh. well. il doesn't really mat
n. see the booking Office is open
II buy ticket"
II beg your pardon" said the man
you will mt buy a ticket. II you hav,
season ticket you have q right TO &
\ the platform; II you have not,
ant your name and address,"
"ISr; the hooking Office is OPEN"
rotcssed.
Certainly il is open. want TO Sc,
our season ticket. II Won please"
We'll, but II the booking Office i
pen and IL II Is for the purpose OF sell
pg tickets, why do You object 70 N,
uyinr ticket? Ill buy : red third
~ Or blue sccond-class or . whit
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOuR TICKET"
rs'-class. just a you say. would
hther buy ticket than expose my
fason ticket to the morning air." and
said this edged cautiously away
Pom the man as II ready TO bolt out Of
w door.
He promptly placed himself between
and the door and said sternly, drop
ing the polite III you please" II
ant 70 see your season ticket"
Oh, WELL" I said, jauntily, 1T
oesnt matter after all. think l shall
AK home. II Il all right ! have
alked good many miles already. and
nothcr mile more or less doesn't mat
r Good morning."
ne railway man called a porter, who
once came 70 his assistance.
Don't let this man leave the place. "
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

"A bushcl Of wheat will buy two or
three times a. much sugar to-day - u
did year ngo. SO WI bushcl Of
potatoes Sugar II nov t-oe Il w
no. : year ago Il the tas.0 : taxS
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

How q Londoncr Fooled o Rail-
way 0atesnan.

HERE was no
question about
IT, ! was q most
disre putable.
looking person
- kind Of per-
son whom you
would not care
10 recognize ON
the street II you
W 2 re w 9 Ill
dressed. ! had
found Il impos-
xiblc to sleep
that night and
had got up at
half-past three
in the morning
"a framned
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

The Lawrence (Kan.) Recorder
(rcp) says: There must be dispo-
sitinn 70 make snch cAanycs in the
tariff act as will satisfy the west thstit
Il not 70 be robbed for the benefit Of the
cast and some responsible assurance
that such abominations Is billion con-
Rressca are not 70 be Of annual occur
renee. or the republican party will 60
out Of power, never TO return"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

Nor far from Portland. Nc, barn
was set on fire BY lightning. The same
bolt that fired the building shattered =
pipe that connected with water main.
and the dow u wstcr cxtinguishcd Tie
0amee
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1891-08-28

A NEW car on the Michigan Central
railroad does the work Of three hundred
men In scrnping the dirt dumped on
The sides Of the track 20 the edges Of
che I'LL.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-22
CLOTHING.
TlG Time to be Selfish
NOW.

During the Christmas holt
days your thoughts and your
purchases we're for others.
Generous---proper Now you
have a right to think of yourselves
again. What are you needing
in our line for your comfort?
Buy 1.-THE winter season isn't
half over. So don't try to
bridge along until spring with
your old clothes. You'll feel
better if you are we'll dressed.
Everybody does.
BY the way we haven't taken
you into our confidence about
our Storm Goats. When you
DO need one, you know. you
need it badly and in hurry.
We've a cheap line. taking the
price as a cue, but an extrava-
giant lot Of quality in them.
They'll cover you from your
head to your heeIs---that's what
you want stormy days. Fair
weather Oyercoats---pIenty of
them. You can't help knowing
how stylish they are---enough Of
them are on the streets this
season. Your kind of prices,
too.
DR.. JAEGER'S UNDER
WEAR nowhere else in Savan-
nah but here. Full Drsss in all
its exclusive novelty and eIe-
gance. Luxury at commodity's
cost-line. Anybody will tell
you so.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-22
IMMENSE IMPORTATIONS,

DR.. W. W. Lamb, the chief drug inspector at
the port of Philadelphia under the late Presi-
dent Arthur's administration, writes as fol-
lows:
Il have used Johann Hoff's Malt Extract for
the past five years in my private practice, and
have found it to be the best health restoring
beverage and tonic nutritive known. have
found it especially good for persons cOnva-
Iescing from fever, in cases of dyspepsia,
for mothers nursing, and in cases of
weakly children. and also in lung
troubles. My attention was drawn by the
immense importation semi-monthly and
about million of bottles imported by
you have passed my inspection in the custom
house satisfactorily for the past five years"
Avoid limitations. There is nothing 'tiust as
good" when you can obtain the genuine arti-
Gle, which must have the signature of johann
Hoff'' on the neck of every bottle.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-22
PUBLICATIONS.
Most Worthy Books for Purchase
OR GIFT.
PUBLICATIONS.

Choice and Popular Alto Songs.
SO songs-each one Gem. Price 81, in heavy
paper 81 % in BIDS, and so in gilt binding.
The Songs of Ireland.
new and carefully revised collection of the
best and most celebrated irish songs Some
of the best melodies Ia existence, and bright,
spirited words. GO songs Price. 81 In heavy
paper, 81 % in BIDS, and 81 In gilt binding.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-20
WILL WORK FOR thu BILL.
Savannah Pilots Interested on Account
of Those ct Smaller Ports.

Savannah Pilots Interested on Account
of Those at Smaller Ports.
The pilots of Savannah are considerably
interested in the Dunwoody piIotage bill.
now before the legislature. 1t was gener-
ally discussed by them yesterday.
The bill changes the present law which
allows vessels entering a port frequently
say three or four times year, to take out
pilots license of 25 cents per registered
ton, which relieves them from paying the
regular pilotage fees on every trip they
mako, hy requiring every vessel taking q
pilot to pay the regular pilotage fees.
The present law was passed in 1886 in the
interest, SO the pilots say, of the Maine
lumbermen and other regular shippers from
this port. to reduce the expense of the pilot
fees. The effect of the law was to almost
destroy the pilots business at Brunswick.
Darien aud the smaller ports, and they have
been maintaining struggle for
existence ever since. The pilots Of
Savannah having a much greater
number OF foreign vessels to secure regular
Dilotage fees from, and by combining and
pooling the receipts from the pilots Ii
censes TO coastwiIe vessels, have made out
a great deal better than their co-workers
at Brunswick and the smaller ports.
The pllo.s here say that their personal
interest in the bill is not great, because, un-
der their preseAt agreement, il would not
materially add to their receipts. On ac-
count of their brethren at the smaller ports,
however, they will be glad to see the bill
passed.