The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-06-11
WATCHED THE CHuD.
copyright 1891, by Edgar w. Nye.l
On BOARD THE DINING CAR,

| just been assisting the conductor {.
make up his cash and declare divi
dend. 1t is quite a job to do while tn,
train goes forty miles an hour, anG
while the walters are filling the aislei
full of soiled linen and i'll assorted pro
family.
In the first place, of course, the checks
given to passengers at table are all mum
bered like the hairs of ones head, and
in each daily report the dining conductor
must give the number he closed with
the day before, as well as the one he
opens with today. This makes what
Diogenes used to call dead open and
shut.
Next the aploneb and style must be
duly considered There are all sorts OF
ways of doing things. For instance,
take the simple matter of serving ice
cream. I went into Mr.. Delmonico's
place last winter and had something to
eat, winding up with ice cream. It was
as good ice cream as ever put into my
head. 1t consisted of the bust of beau
tiful but rather cool brunette, the face
and figure, wherever the skin was wish
BILE, being made of chocolate, while a
pale yellow vanilla constituted the eco
nomical waist of the party dress, and a
light and gauzy veil of lemon ice was
thrown carelessly over the head. It was
highly artistic, and when it was frozen
so fairly and so beautifully ready for
the table don't blame Charlie Delmon-
leo for feeling proud as he put on his
coat and set the freezer back in the cell
lar way to wait for another job.
Last week, however, saw an ice
cream sign in the window as I journeyed
through Texas town, and recalling the
cool yet innocuous beverage that ate at
the above New York boarding place, I
went in. It was, in front, a bakery, and
the rather sickening odor of last years
candy pull seemed to still cling to the
costly hangings. Also large pepper
mint candy cane hung in the window.
The memory of hot candy seemed to
be in possession of the store. There was
no one else there-only this sweet MEM
DRY. So passed on through an arch
way hung with costly purple canton
flannel curtains, and under coal oil
chandelier draped with scalloped tissue
paper on which the fly of the period was
holding mass meeting. The ice cream
saloon was furnished with a rectangular
table covered with real oil cloth made
to look like marble. Why anybody
should ever try to initiate marble, when
real marble is SO cold and CHASTITY, I do
not know.
No one was in the ice cream par1or ex-
cept a hairless dog that was suffering
from fatty degeneration. There was
also sun bonnet on the ice cream table.
I pressed in through the kitchen, where
nice tin basin of dried prunes was or
were stewing. On the hearth stood a
plate with some Saratoga potatoes or
autumn leaves in it. Out in the back
yard man was wiping the nose of a
little child. 1t seemed almost wrong to
take him away from his job, but asked
him how he was fixed for ice cream. He
said he could get me some.
1t seemed that he was what is called
model husband. I suppose that should
have stabbed him, but 1 hated to get
blood all over his little child. do not
like the model husband. Possibly be-
cause he has been held up to me at times
when l was not good natured. Wher-
ever you find model husband you gen.
orally find that he has baritone wife
with unduly exposed fangs.
Ireturned to the store and stood around
waiting for my delicdtessen. Meantime
went in behind the counter and cracked
nuts with pound weight, throwing the
shells into the sugar barrel. I like to
pick on model husband, because it is
most always safe. asked him if he
we're unmarried. He looked around in
4 frightened way and said no. His wife
was at the Association hall, where she
was at the head of committee. The
association had in hand the Ameliora-
ion of the Miscellaneous Poor; also the
of Unidentified Children
IN their fathers side. The work, he |
aid, was getting to be wonderful one,
md had grown to such proportions that |
t took all of her time, so she had to |
AVE an Office up town.
The man wore nice long salmon col |
red whiskers and eelluloid collar. He /
y1ped off the top of the table with an /
u-purpose dust cloth, and put tall
'oblet of rain water near me. Then he
vent away, possibly TO a neighbours,
nd returned with an iron spoon with
liver freckles on it. Afterward he
rought in a cake basket containing
roperty cake. You have seen it. It
,ould look well enough in photograph,
ut would give an ordinary stomach
cart disease.
Then came porous towel, or napkin,