davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
Nothing in His Lordship,s Head.

A celebrated Irish barrister, having
desperate case to plead and solici-
tude to save his client, and lacking tes
timony, determined to save him by
eloquently appealing to the feelings OF
the jury. After having made his point
he observed that sudden and decided
change had come over them. Facing
the bench he observed the judge wag.
ging his head as much as to say: "All
CANNON, gentlemen. Three times he
assayed to enlist tho feelings of the
jurors, and thrice, from the same
cause, he failed. Then his Celtic ire
arose to fever heat, and he exclaimed
Gentlemen of the jury, you observe
that his lordship wags his head. Yor
may imagine by this that his lordshir
dissents to my argument. But, gintle-
men, when you come to know his lord
ship as intimately as know him yor
will find out that when his lordshil
wags his head there's nothing in it,
N Y, Press.
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
Strictly Local Rain.

An elderly woman entered an optic
ian's store on Broadway the other day
to make some purchases and stopped to
examine a curious-looking card which
stood on a glass case. 1t was picture
of ballet dancer, wearing a gauzy
pink skirt. She turned to clerk be-
hind the counter, and asked:
What do you call this thing?"
THAT, madam" blandly replied the
clerk, lis a French barometer. The
skirt of the ballet girl is saturated with
a chemical mixture. In fair weather it
is blue. When the weather changes
and it is about to rain it becomes violet.
During the rain it turns pink"
The woman looked closely at the card
for moment, and then walked to the
door and looked at the sunny sky. She
said:
Its no good. The skirts pink and
its perfectly dry outside" ="
The clerk took the card in his hand
and glanced with puzzled expression
at the pink skirt. Then he looked al
the floor. and a light came into his face
Madam" he said, "our boy has JUS
sprinlxled the floor"
The woman looked disguised, sail
"huh, and walked out. The clerk con
tiDued TO smile,-N, Y Sun
Z sE
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

arrangements with yol. to watch over
my hacienda and keep the robbers
off l tell you what I'll do. If you'll
guarantee that there shall be no dep
relations on my hacienda | will pay
You two hundred and fifty dollars a
year. How does that strike you?"
The Mexican was so surprised that
he actually looked imbecile, and it
was some few seconds before he re-
gained his breath.
by the saints, senior, I win do it!'
That's business" said Morgan
"Give us your hand on it,
The Mexican put up his pistols. anG.
they shook hands again.
''Ili pay you foI' the first year now,''
said Morgan, and taking some money
from his pocket counted out two hun
dred and fifty dollars and handed it tG
him. "When the year is up, you send
or go to the American consul at Vera
Cruz and he will pay you for me for
the next year; but, now remember, for
each time that som one is robbed on my
hacienda l shall deduct ten dollars
from your next pay. Is it agreed?"
''It is, senor."
"Well, remember, now. We must be
going on. I'm very glad met you
very glad. But won't you accompany
us a little dista1 ce?"
Pardon me, scnor, but l cannot &C.
company you. Twill keep my bargain.
A dos" and the Mexican disappeared
into the bushes with his companion.
Morgan's friends joined him and they
resumed their journey in silence, and
one by one their MexicGns caught up tc
| them.
whats the matter, Hank? You ain't
afraid now, are you?" asked Morgan.
mo, Cap: I'm just struck speeches.
! by your nerve. l never saw anything
like it in all my life, and guess the
greaser never did. He seemed dazed.
1t can be said in justice to the Mexi
can that he has kept his contract Ed
win Ralph Collins, in Texas Siftings.
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
CHURCH AND STATE.
Sharp Exchanges Between Ecoleslasslcs
and the LaIty.

Sharp Exchanges Between Eceleslassios
and the LaIty.
Tradition tells of fiery Anglo Indian
colonel who, getting into hot dispute
with portly clergyman, remarked,
pointedly. ut is pity that 6tack ants
should not be useful in proportion to
their size" Whereon the parson at
once retorted, ut is greater pity that
red ants, which are so Insignificant,
should yet be so offensive.
Another collision os Shis kind between
church and state, in which the church
again had the best of it, is said to have
occurred at an English public dinner,
where a would-be witty officer asked
well-known colonial bishop, who sat
next to him, whether he could tell the
difference between bishop and dom
key, and then proceeded to explain that
the one wears the cross on his head, Fna
the other wears it on his back.
''Very good, Major B." said the
bishop. ''But now, can goa tell the diff
ference between an army officer and .
donkey?"
mo, my lord, can not" replied the
major.
Nor can l." rejoined the bishop,
quietly.
Even this, however, was surpassed by
another passage Of repartee between
the gown and the sword which is still
preserved among the society legends Of
Calcutta. A certain famous English
z..a..u1 41,o borO IF txyo aaatarf, xya 20
found his health beginning to give way
beneath the strain OF long and arduou'
service, and was ordered home by hii
doctors. On the day of his embarkatior
for England he was accompanied by {
vast crowd of friends, TO whom he be
gan to distribute various small token
of his regard.
"Well, general" asked the bishop 0
| Calcutta, who was one of the party
shave you no memento to leave to al
old friend like me?"
80, have not forgotten you, IN.
lord" cried the general "On the con
trary. have bequeathed to you any en-
tire stock of impudence."
"Ten thousand thanks, my dear ger
eral," replied the undaunted bishop
you have given me by far the largei
and most valuable part of your PROF
erty."
And then the bishops wife turned
her husband, and said, sweetly, IN
dear, am glad to see that you has
come into your legacy so soon. ."-Dav
Ker in Harper's MAGAZINE
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

the bushes beside the trail suddenly
parted and Mexican with q revolver
in each hand stepped forth.
"Hands up, senors!'
Morgan was riding in advance of the
others, apd the sudden greeting startled
him, even though, he had been half ex-
pectinC some such command. He made
no n,otion to obey it, however, but
bowed and smiled, with perfect assur-
ance and not a sign of fear.
1.-The senior has nothing to appre-
hend,' replied Morgan. 1--WE are only
travellers; we are not highwaymen, and
he can put up his pistols"
Glands upr' sternly repeated the
man, as another fellow emerged from
the scrub with pair of pistols in his
hands, and took place beside the first
one.
'Yhat? You still doubt mer' ex-
claimed Morgan. 1.-THE senior is hard
to convince. See, you have frightened
all my men away"
The Mexicans, at the first call, hao
almost broken their necks, so great
was their haste, to gain the seclusion
of the bushes, and left the three Amer
leans alone.
"You do not know me!' exclaimed
the highwayman, still covering Nor
gan with his pistols. II am Miguel
Aleatraz!' and he Strengthened up as
he gave his name, as though he eX
pc cted the bare mention of it to para
| lyze the Americans.
"Well, well, you don't say? I'm sure
I'm glad to have this honor. My
names Morgan. These are my friends
Shake, pardner. Are you lost here?'
The Mexican was SO astonished a
the GOODNESS of the American that h'
did not know what to do. He wa'
used to see the mention of his name
inspire terror. He lowered his pistols
and shook Morgan's hand heartily, t.
! the surprise of the onlool1ers-
81 think l have heard your name be
fore, senor," continued Morgan, no
giving the Mexican chance to speak
"Ah! yes, l have it; you are chief o
the patrol, and you have number o
men to assist you in keeping goo'
order in this part of the country
You are just the man I wanted t
I.maet How fertuRatsl cen max
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
A OnestIonabIe Advantaee.

Lord Houghton said to himself; "Hav-
Ing no duties to perform, am obliged
to put up with pleasure. 2" People are
said to be in 'easy circumstances, " and
"well off, !" when they have not to work
for living; but this is very question
able advantage. The pains and penal
ties of idleness' soon teach us that we
are really bad off, and in by no means
easy circumstances when we have moth
ing to do But, indeed, it is impossible
to do nothing. We must either work
usefully or do mischief Now, as IT is
not everyone that can invent useful
work for himself, it is far happier for
us to have some necessary employment.
Recreation after work Is good, but "a
life Of pleasure is Q life oS nsiu De
tgait Frpe Press
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
SI.oo per Annum.
PuNeENT PARAeRAPHs.

That's Why She Told It.-Wife-"I
can't imagine why Mrs Tattel circu-
lated that story told her." Husband
You probably told her it was to be
kept secret. Yankee Blade.
Fast Shrinkage. - Reportah $50
poor VIII was accidentally strangled to
death. How'd it happen?" Flicker
Got caught in a shower and couldn't
unbutton the collar of his flannel shirt"
The fellow who reports that he has
found snakes in the Adiroudacks Gov =
cred with fur like minks had better
come home. He has already been too
long on vacation -Binghamtou Re-
publican.
That Explains It.-Lady-"My hus-
band and l never dispute before chill
-dren. If we think quarrel is coming
on we send them out" Kind Friend
30, that's why see them so often in
the street. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
Overheard at the Branch. h.-"Ah,"
said Chappie, gleefully, this sea air
makes me feel fresh as daisy. +" Are
you sure you weren't born so, Mr.. Hap
kins?" asked the summer girl, who was
beginning to long for change Y.
Herald.
10, yes! He's quite remarkable
man. Able to concentrate his mind on
one particular subject, no matter how
great the crowd and confusion around
him. His power of abstraction is simply
wonderful. what is his special branch
of science?" "Kleptomania, / think
they call it. Washington Post.
-"You don't seem disposed to cult.
vate my acquaintance" said Biffton to
Miss Pepperton. Really, Mr.. Biffton,
don't remember having been presented
to any acquaintance of yours who pre-
sented deficiency in cultivation that
felt equal to supplying" and she sailed
out of the room, leaving Biffton sorry
he spol1e.-WashingtCn Star.
The seaside hotel clerk was looking
through his books to make out the bill
of the departed guest, when the latter
laid his wallet on the counter and asked
the clerk whether he wanted any more.
"Wait until I've made out the bill,
please" said the clerk, haughtily. 20,
that's all right" said the guest reassur-
ingly. 81 used to own summer resort
hotel myself."-N. Y! Recorder.
"A Provoking Woman. He had mar
ried her for her money, and their do
mestic life was not the most harmo-
niouA 81 was sold when married
you," he said to her one day in tone
of disappointment Possibly" she re-
piled very quietly; possibly. Iwouldn't
undertake to say; but if you were dear,
you haven't realized any cash on the
sale yet. have you" He picked up his
hat for answer, and went out where he
could take long breath.-Detroit Free
| Press
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
Origin of a Famous Club.

Among other things out of this fla
nous Dickens.dinner came the celebrat
ed association of ladies which now
flourishes in New York as Sorosis
Dickens was to be honored by the
brethren of his craft, the workingmer
of the press. But where were the
workingmen? Why should not the
gifted women of America be permitted
to do honor to the master? The ladies,
under the leadership of Alice Cary,
Jennie June Croly, Kate Field and
others resolved to form club of their
own, to exclude the men from their
festivities, as they had been ex luded
from this dinner, and when Dickens OF
some other of relative fame came tc
the United States they would honor
him in their own sweet and graciou,
way They named thoir club Sorosis
1t has aourished and flourishes even t.
the present day,-N, J, Press
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

small party together tor an early morn
ing start on long journey. AS the
last notes of the call died away, three
americans, followed by half dozen
hexicans, entered the yard, all booted
and spurred, ready to be off. With the
customary shouting and chattering,
the horses and pack mules were brought
out and with many a dioS, the caval-
cade set forth.
The Americans were bound for the
Interior, where, near Tehuacan, they
we're to look over tract of
land recently purchased by one of
them, Jack Morgan. The other two
americans were friends of Morgan
taken along for company, and also be-
cause they were somewh at acquainted
with greasers and greaser ways, while
Morgan was not. The Mexicans were
hlred to go along as guides, guards and
70 DO the work. Morgan was typical
Westerner, and knew the ins and outs
Oh Life on the plains as we'll as the best
Ol them He was one of those chaps
VINO are quick on the trigger and cool
under all circumstances. He spoke
spanish fairly well, but, as stated be
lore had never been far into the in.
terror of Mexico
Inc first days travel was uneventful
ana the Mexicans selected a fine camp
ing place for the night. After supper
me pipes were brought out, and seated
aoout the fire the Americans discussed
ne hrst day of their journey.
a., IT'S all right, so far" said Morgan
II we get through tomorrow as good
. we have to-day l shall feel all right,
tomorrow We'll go through the worst
part OF the trip, and the consul at Vera
oroz said if we were not molested il
SOag through the hills we would staat
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
EVERY YEAR.

,,oo, ,tis growing colder
i''0 Every year;
,.dmv heart, alas! gets older
Every year.
,,an win no new affection;
iSare only recollection
nosner sorrow and detection,
Every year.
ntas loves and sorrows blended
Every year;
ntbe Joys Of friendship ended
Every year;
o,,hs ties that still might bind me
yrtil Time to Death resigned me,
Nc inf1rmities remind me,
Every year.
,h, how sad to look before us
Every year.
wbon the cloud grows darker DER us
Every year;
when we see the blossoms faded
mat the bloom We might have aided,
md immortal garlands braided
Every year.
To the past go more dead faces
Every year,
As the loved leave vacant places
Every year.
Everywhere the sad eyes meet us;
the evenings dusk they greet Us,
And to come 10 them entreat us,
Every year.
yes. the shores Of life are shifting
Every year;
AMI we are seaward drifting
Every year:
Old pleasures. changing, fret us;
The living more forget us;
There are fswer to regret Il:
Every year.
nut the tJuer life draws higher
Every year;
And its morning star climbs higher
Every year.
Tarth's mold on us grows slighter,
And the heavy burden lighter,
Ana the Dawn immortal brighter,
Every year.
William Cowan, in Chambers Journal.
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
Goodne.s Il. own Rewara.

Mrs. Ponsonby-Why, my dear, what
has become Of all the jewelry you useS
to wear SO much?
Mrs Popinjay-I have given them ul
to save the heathens.
Mrs Ponsonby-How good OF you?
Mrs. Popinjay-Yes, but will get
my reward. Harold win buy me new
set Of the latest style. IeweleTs Cir
aular
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

good chance of getting through with
out hold up"
Why" asked Mark, one of the
@n,,erieans, a.n,, "are we likely to be held
unfortunately we are. There are
esa1iemen = Of the highway on this side
me hlo Grande as we'll as the other. :"
h. Il you knew this, why didn't you
i Hank?p
ny. =. course ! knew it. and / am pre-.
'aeR, as yqu was sort Of QptatteF
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
MEDIEVAL LONDON,
Some of the Strange Sights Seen UpOl
the Streets.

Some of the Strange Sights Seen Upon
the Streets.
The street was noisy with the voices
of those who displayed their wares and
called upon the folk to buy. You may
hear the butchers in Clare market or
the costers in Whitecross street keep
ing up the custom to the present day.
The citizens walked and talked; the
alderman went along in state, accom-.
panied by his officers: they brought out
prisoners and put them into the pillory:
the church bells clashed and chimed
and tolled; bright cloth of scarlet hung
from the upper windows if it was feast.
day, or if the mayor and aldermen had
riding; the streets were bright with
the colors of that many-colored time,
when the men We'd with the women in
bravery of attire, AMI when all classes
spent upon raiment sums of money, in
proportion to the rest of their expendi
ture, which sobered nineteen-century
folk can hardly believe. Chaucer is full
of the extravaganza in dress. There is
the young squire
''Embrowdid was he, as it were amede
Al full OF fresshe flowures, white and reede.''
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

"a seynt (girdle) schc wered, barred al Of TX
a BARN 10th eek as whit as mOrne mylk
Upon hir lend Coins), full Of many gore.
Whit was cir smok, and browdid al byfore
And eek byhynde on hir color aboute.
OF cole blak silk, withinne and eek withoute.
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

Or the wife of Bath, with her scarlet
stocking and her fine 1erchiefs. And
the knights decled their horses as gay.
ly as themselves. Now the city not
ables went clad in gowns of velvet ol
silk lined with fur; their hats were o.
velvet with gold-lace; their doublet'
were of rich silk; they carried thicl
gold chains about their neczs and mas
sive gold rings upon their fingers.
Walter Besant, in Harper's Magazine
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

nat,
cts tireda
his me-.
cost Of "a
( cents i
/. look iuto
,sensibls
l his fam
be acre n
|ound, viii
valuatios
ce he eou)s
Facts i |
read thh |
nose, a aaa /
not Bos |
= live ten |
selves Is |
wisely i
hfty acres |
: them al |
} life.
ern cotton |
rds Of liz |
is of thea /
luts which |
Or califor. /
, Being II
kets, than |
big profit !
ars Of cot, I
outh Vsry
wing fruit
wealthy
but noth. +
{, nothing \
the Texa.
rs a shens !!
$ food I'll
atements
be easily
es. Aite.
Pn't write &
ID bothsr
viii cheer
you doubt
ItsAels-A
rmer &
should bsA
re being
ach hanq (
'ead made I
materials 4
unned as
n baskets 4
found iii
he hands
nd woudA
watched
hey could
ing plan:
he cotton
and dry
lie a space
S picking
asst put in8
t a pretty
not heat
the after
you havs
in South.
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

J county,
|hs a farm
recentlJ
man BE-
! "Pony
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

atementSl
be easilyl
es. After
mt writsl
Id bother
'Al cneerH
you doubt /
ltsaels-I
rner /
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03
Or the carpenters wife

''Embrowdid was he, as it were amede
AL full Of fresshe flowures, white and reede.'
The Bossier banner., 1891-12-03

Q ReA'
Fhe cotton
and DRY
|te a space
'spickngI
|ast put M
prettyl
not heat
the after
you havs|
in South
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08
MEMS CLOTHING.

We haven't known a dull
day up to date such is the
story of 40 weeks of 1891.
Our sturdy, steady, salts
factory business has been OBJ
tanned by honest, helpful,
hearty industry, of proper
goods at proper prices, truth
full advertising and proper
respect for the peoples COM
mon sense.
This fall we speak to thou
sands of new friends. We
surpass the summer and we
Guido all previous autumns.
We ask you to select your
fall and winter outfit from a
stock of $4,000 in excess of
any we've ever before carried
at one time. We ask you in
your own interest to see our
Fall Suits and Overcoats be-
fore you place your order with
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08
BOYS CLOTHING.

The biggest, best, most
carefully selected ALL NEW
STOCK Of staple and novelty
styles of Suits and Overcoats
for larger boys and "little
tots" that was ever shown by
any Reputable One-Priced
House in this city. No
camphor cured or warmed
over stuff here; every gar
ment bright, new and fresh
from the best manufacturers
on this continent. Our stock
of children's knee pants suits
for I" little fellows who are
from a to IS years of age, is
simply par excellence. Suits
for school, church or semi
dress wear that no house IN
these parts can match for 20
per cent more money. Nobby
Tweeds, durable Cheviots and
neat Cassimeres for every
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08
UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS!

yesterday Overlooking
of
Clothing
of
beautiful thousands Of
andT
lin
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08

a merchant tailor. We can
show you as good a Fall Suit
or Overcoat as you can have
made to order at SO per cent
less price.
Prices range from
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08

day wear, and rich Tricots
and si1ken Worsteds for full
dress.
We could fill every page in
this valuable paper descr1b-
ing our colossal stock of Big
Boys Clothing and then not
do the subject, or our beautl-
full all new stock justice ; but
suffice to say, we have the
Boys and Children's stock of
this city. Mind you, not here
merely ION paper but within
our handsome, well-lighted
and Strictly One-Priced estab-
lishment.
Los Angeles herald. [volume] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1890-1893, 1891-10-08
$3.50 to $25.

Mems and Young Mems
Fall and Winter Suits in
such extreme fabrics as wood,
gray and walnut colored
cheviots, double and single
breasted sacks and getaways.
Business suits, strong,
stylish, $40 to $40. worth IS
to rs per cent more money.
Dress Suits in soft, silken
C1ay's worsteds, that'll never
gloss or fade, whipcords, tri-
cots, corkscrews, fiat, bound
and stitched edges,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-16

who knows music; it can hardly be con-
veyed otherwise
Make that sound TO 4 monkey and il will
always respond in some fashion. because il
knows that food of some sort is meant, The
other four words which DIR. Garner has thus
far secured for his monkey lexicon are
pain, satisfaction fear" and ''meD-
ace" 1t Is simply question, he thinks, OF
going on from this point and discovering
the other words of the limited vocabulary
Of our arboreal cousins.
1t seems, as he states the fact, that in the
monosyllabic vocabulary Of mos keys there
are no negatives. Furthermore, emphasis
is made in no other fashion than by the rep
etition of one utterance. Also, a single ut
terance slightly varied means many things,
accumulation transforming nouns into verbs,
and so on. One object of the subject is to
discover whether monkey talk represents
the incipiency Of human language as it ex-
isis to-day or not One thing DR.. Garner
thinks very certainly-namely, that the
language Of monkeys at present is as well
developed as is the animal itself, compared
with civilized man.
A lexicon Of monkey words once obtained
DR.. Garner believes that it will be practical
bic to establish intelligent communication
with monkeys, and as to the possibilities to
be secured in this way of humaniziug the
anthropoid apes in particular only the wild
est speculations can be INDUCED.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-16
MECHANICS INTERESTED.

And Their Friends Too-Levy's Grand
Present.
The county election last week scarcely
excited one-tenth the public interest thu.
centers in the contest at B. 81. Levy &
Bro. g, for the elegant bedroom SUIT for
the most popular mechanic In Savannah,
and the enthusiasm of the friends and nc
quaintance of several well known mechanics
is manifesting itself in heavy voting.
THE CONTEST WILL BE FAIR
and square, as everything connected ,cith
LEWIS oltUoys Is. and ID is altogether with
the public as to who will become owner OF
the elegant Furniture displayed In B. Fl.
Levy & Bros show window. A good
many people are under the impression that
one must buy something to be entitled to
vote.
THIS IS A MISTAKE,
AS you need not even be q patron of tbs
establishment to enjoy the electoral privi-
lege. You must, however, vote for bona
fde mechanic, that is the only obligation.
YOU CAN'T VOTE ON SATURDAY,
As that day is our busy day and is wholly
devoted to supplying the wants of our i'm
mense Overcoat and Clothing trade, and we
know our friends won't begrudge us one
whole day to ourselves in each week; any
other day, however, you can vote and reg
lister.
We are beginning to partake of the gen.
eral excitement ourselves, and find our own
expectancy sharpened as to the possible
outcome of this contest.
Vote for your
favorite
Mechanic
and have him
get our handsome
Present.
B. II. LEVY g. Bro,
Ad 157 Congress Street.