davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning call., 1891-03-01
Danger in Double Lighting.

There is a good deal of danger in these
gas and electric light fixtures" said prac-
teal electrician TO me the other day. Il
mean in the kind which are used for gas
and electric light in combination. Of course
1t is convenient to have the gas all ready for
use IL the electric apparatus gets out of
order, and in theaters and public institu-
ti0ns the joint fixtures are particularly use
full. no doubt. But | think where the double
fixtures are used in hotels or private houses
the taps ought to be made conspicuously
distinct; in fact, it would be we'll to have
the gas tap screwed up while the electric
light is being used.
THE other day two actresses came mighty
near being suffocated in Pittsburg hotel
through the double fixture trap. When
they went to bed one of them tried to turn
out the electric light. She did turn tap,
but it didn't shut off the electric light. Then
her companion got up and turned off the
electric light. But the first girl had turned
ON the gas when she thought she was turn
ing off the electric light. Result, TWO Young
women in state of asphyxation next
morning; would have been dead had not
their room been very large. 1t is mistake
likely to occur, and those who have double
fixtures should take care in time" Pitts
burg Dispatch.
The morning call., 1891-03-01
NOVEL SCREENS.
Some Pretty Designs Offered TO Those Who
Are Fond Of Such

"The lady and the palm" might well be
written about in conjunction nowadays.
Mendelssohn in his photos puts them to-
gether Invariably. Milady's first thought in
arranging the pretty background of her tea
table is how to place her palm to advantage.
Stately ones adorn the spacious halls and
smaller specimens make picturesque the
corners of the drawing-rOom. This ques-
ton of encourage is receiving mere and
more attention every year; the clever woman
is not content to be merely well-gowned, out
She must also be we'll placed. 1t is astonish-
ing TO see how becoming bit of background
may be made to be. Next to the palm. the
screen is the most valuable adjunct, and
these may be of any size, color or shape.
Vatican screens in R0calle frames are
The morning call., 1891-03-01
SOME VERY GOOD
FUNNY STORIES
That Have Been Told by Some Of the
j. Great Men Of The Nation. !.
One That Is Credited to President Harrison,
" Another to ce-President Morton, Still
Another to Wanamaker. =.
written for THE SUNDAY CALL.

;. The most novel symposium ever printed
p Is the following collection of good stories
told by famous stories that lose
much i'll being read instead Of being heard,
but rib-ticklers nevertheless. The gentle
men. who tell these stories and conyulse
their hearers have many other stories that
they tell first, and in case they DO not cause
the hilarity expected the speakers reputa-
ton as a wit is staked on the stories an
nexed. Each story as told is the best in the
gentleman's repertoire, as the saucy SOU
brette would put it, and they never fail to
bring forth showers of laughter.
r.. :. HARRISON TELLS A HOG STORY.
President Harrison very seldom INDUCED
in joke or story unless he knows his hear
ers well. One day he surprised his hearers
by telling the following story to illustrate a
point: :---- ..s@
/: There was man who had way of TAX
ing his own advice and doing things to get
even. He was a hng-dealer, and one season
he drove alarge number of hcgs TO Indian
apolr, distance OF 100 milos from his home,
although he was told he could get nearly as
much Tor them at a town nearer. Arriving
at indianapolis, he found that the price OF
hogs had gone down. He kept them in the
city nearly a month, and finally was offered
The morning call., 1891-03-01

deaf man once w no was disposed to be par
simonious. He was fond Of society and a
confirmed bachelor. He gave banquet to
some young ladies and young gentlemen,
the elite of the city. For convenience |
will call the bachelor Brown. When the
banquet was nearly over, one Of the boldest
of the young men arose to toast Mr.. Brown.
The latter stood up, all smiles, but he could
not hear word that was spoken. He only
knew it was about him that the toast was
being said The young scapegoat said:
Here is to you, you old miser, Brown.
You are no better than a tramp, and it is
honestly. My wish is that you may get
your just deserts yet and land in the peni-
tertiary"
" The deaf Mr.. Brown smiled. raised his
glass to his lips, and said: 1.-THE same to
YOU"
MEN.
Governor Hill is a good story-teller. Two
The morning call., 1891-03-01


o5-cent dinners at a restaurant which had
failed and closed up during the previous
week. -...;.-
The foregoing isn't the story INTENDED to
tell when began. but once get me started
ON the subject of personal Identification and
/ never know when to stop. i could tell
half a dozen more stories without getting
anywhere near the one had,i mind at first.
TGey would all 20 to show that when a lot
of people stand up in court and tell how
they recognize man whom they never saw
but once in their lives, and then when he
was back to item. and half mile away
when they swear that they know him be-
cause he has lost a back tooth, and has
scar on the sole of his foOt-they are simply
lying in way to make their moral charac-
ter unclean.
However, let that.p pass. l started to tell
how was pursued by a. mysterious negro.
said to be seven feet high, but perhaps l can
do it some other time.
The morning call., 1891-03-01
GERMAN HUMOR..

Whole: Chunks of 1t Translated From
!: .+:.'+= Fliegende Blaetter. -.
A Sunday hunter has actually at last, to
his own establishment. shot hare: Bearing
it home, he sees game-deaer from whom
he was in.the habit of buying what he pre-
tended to have killed standing at the door
of his store. He shows him the trophy in
great glee. e..
Don't talk to mep' cried the dealer an
grily; don't talk TO me abort shooting it'll
You've bought it, I guess, from that other
dealer up the street."
why, CCnsin Carl, you look very often
at the clock!
"Still you don't suspect from that that
am weared of your company|
" Oh, no; not that. merely suspettyour
watch must be in pawn
In the Marriage Bureau-"And besides,
continues the agent, isle has another re-
markable virtue. She can keep silent"
Shall l count that as so much gold?' in
quired the customer.
Judge-Offcer Schmidt, the accused says
he was making no noise when you arrested
mo noise, your honor; why, he made
noise enough to wake me-"
Now tell me, dear Baron, who do you
think was the pre- .tiest girl at the ball last
night?" ~
know, if | say | cannot tell. F"
Il understand. On, you tlatterer!"
Professor-How is il that you could dare
say behind my back that l looked like
Methusaleh? u
81 confess did say it, Professor, but only
like Methusaleh When he was young"
-
to that waitress, Another glass OF beer?' "
"Why? What other conversation could
one hold with such q stupid girl as she
seems to be?"
:. "now old are you2"
"Twenty."
1871" !.
ITS horrible the way. your boy spells"
said the teacher
!" He can't nelp that. poor fellow. was
the mothers reply. tits: an heirloom. He
Inherited that from his grandfather"
Lady to her silent primer at table,:
'' beg pardon, Herr Beinlaeh, but does
1t strike you as though i looked slightly
bored?" -"
"Do you buy books here?" asked the stu.
dent. offering a volume of college songs: to
the dealer.
"Well, that's my whole library"
-s
Two physicians of Havana ara succae,
The morning call., 1891-03-01
KoCH,S. BIRTHPLACE.

The House in Which the Distinguished
Scientist Was Born.
Claustadt in the Harz Mountains, where
Robert Kech-=was born, is a very pretty
little city. tits essentially mining town,
aud Koch's early neighbors were sturdy
miners and tillers of the ore in tbo hor'el'
of the mountains. Koch has |alRays been
attached TO the simple home in which his
childhood and youth were spent, and this
The morning call., 1891-03-01

hand, an just reach out an tickle old rat
tier on the back. He'd reach round to bite
the whip han'le, and bite hisself in the
back I'd wait about two minits to see If
he'd begun to swell, and then start for my
stage. He'd be dead snake in ten minits.
DanrerP Well, | guess not. Whip han lie
. eight feet long, and l cd reach four feet
further, an no RATHER Twin can spring
more'n half of twelve feet"
The rattle of rattlesnako is composed OF
a series of loosely iointed, hollow, shell-llke
bones. The first one makes its appearance
when the snake is years old. and one Is
added every year Thus it is easy TO reckon
the age of snake by the rings. though
sometimes portion OF the rattle may have
been lost Dy getting it caughtin crevEce
or cut off by a falling rock. Occasionally an
old rattlesnake will be found that has lost
all but the last ring of its rattle. One can
always know if the rattle is complete by a
sort of cap that fits over the end and forms
the first rattle. If this Is gone, the chances
are that several rings were lost with it.
The bite of a full-grown rattiesnake is IN
almost every instance fatal If no antldote
be taken in time. 1t is attended with in
fammation, swelling and severe pain. The
bandiest and possibly the best antiseptic is
whisky. A man suffering from severe bite
has been known to drink four quarts OF
whisky in three hours without feeling the
effects of it in the usual way.
The tarantula is more dreaded than the
rattlesnake. His bite is more deadly poi
sonous and harder to cure; he has habit
of sneaking upon his victim at an unex-
The morning call., 1891-03-01

faithful love has prompted him to buy it
and become its sole owner. The house in
which Koch was born, and which on the last
anniversary of his birth was marked with
stone-tablet in honor of the great man, was
inhabited fora short time only by the Koch
family. they bought the other, to which they
subsequently moved, and which is now Pro
fessor Koch'S sole property .-Pittsburg Dis
patch. -. .. 49,. ::
The morning call., 1891-03-01

pected moment, and he gives no warning
when about to spring. Fortunately, he does
not stay about buildings, as he prefers to
hold undisputed possession of the open
field. In appearance he is an overgrown
can be spread out over an area five or six
inches square. The tarantula that is some
times brought to New York in punches of
bananas is the dreaded tarantula OF South
ern California.
The bite is inflicted by tusk-like fangs
which extend from either side of the mouth.
These the spider stabs into the victim. and
through them injects poison for Which
there is no cure. Although he is capable of
giving n very effective stab at close quarters,
his favorte method of attack is by SPRING
ing, when he strikes head on, burying his
fangs to the full length. As a rule, taran-
tula will flee at the approach of a man. but
on the least provocatlOn will turn and fight,
and very often, if it be a full-grOwn spider,
he is of so beligerent a character that he
does not hesitate to dispute the right of
way with any traveller he may chance to
meet.
When the tarantua has had an opportun-
ity TO bury its fangs deep in the flesh, unless
skilled medical attendance is promptly at
hand, the bite is always fatal. In cases of
this kind portion of one or both of the
sharp stings breaks off and remains in the
wound These must be removed before
there is O possibility of recovery. The sur
geon lances the wound, removes the broken
fangs and applies strong caustic. In the
meantime the patient has imbibed cOpious
The morning call., 1891-03-01

draughts of brandy and hartshorn. In cases
where the bite is not severe sugar of lead
and oil will prove effective if applied to the
wound, while whisky will act as an anti
septic.
1t is a curious fact that a person bitten by
a tarantula is very susceptible to the sootb-
ing effects of music while under the influ-
ence of the poison. Even while suffering
excruciatng pain the patient will drop off
to sleep upon the hearing of musical
sounds, either vocal or instrumental. The
sleep continues as long rs the music is in
hearing, but upon its stopping the patient
Immediately awakens. 1t is also fact that
music has a charm-like effect upon the tarap-
tula. 1t is said that even the most bel
ligerent tarantula becomes peaceful cltl-
zen upon hearing the tones of violin. lie
remains motionleSs and can be handled
with less danger, for he has never been
known to inflict bite while under the in
fuence OF music. 1t is in this way that the
curio-dealers of Southern California replen-
ish their stock Indians and Mexicans do
most of the hunting for the tarantula and
his curious nest.
The tarantula has but three enemies-the
''bug-catcher." the rattlesnake and the red
winged wasp, better known as the tarantula
hawk The first he does not fear. the second
he can generally whip, but the third is his
fatal enemy and the one for which he must
be constantly on the lookout.
When the tarantula suspects the presence
The morning call., 1891-03-01

A woman in Mishawaka, Ind, recently
received through the mails q puppy in a
perforated box. Its presence was not sus-
pected by the postal clerks.
The morning call., 1891-03-01
- e; er;s "a.
"IFny dfdn't you teu ne Bu1 thati'

made line for a gate near the farmer s
house and reaching it in time shut off the
bull from further pursuit. The farmer. it
seems, was there and had witnessed the
chase. The General, all out of breath,
said, between gasps:
"Sir-sir, did you see your bull chasing
me2"
"Y-e-s," said the farmer suppressing a
smile.
know whom that bull was chasing?"
:-"You, guess"
"Do you know who 1 am, sir? I am
General Blank"
"Wall, why didn't you tell the bull that ?"
nnrtlu rptnrtpd the farmpr
The morning call., 1891-03-01

Postmaster-General John Wanamaker is
given to illustrating his conversation with
pointed stories, Once he rebuked some of
his Sunday-schOol boys for laughing at a
deaf boys mistake in answering miSnnder-
stood questions, and related this story:
'Now, little boys, it is not right to laugh
or make sport OF affection. l knew of a
The morning call., 1891-03-01

Two physicians of Havana are success
fully inoculating new arrivals In Cuba
against yellow fever through mosquitoes that
have contaminated themselves by singing
yellow fever patients. Fifty-tw0 cases Of
mosquito incubation have been followed
up. OF them only about per cent slbse-
quently contracted the disease, with NOR
i. tally OF less than per cent.
The morning call., 1891-03-01

Murat Halstead has ten living children
seven sons and three daughters-and has
buried two sons.
The morning call., 1891-03-01

Girard College has 1891 pupils, the largest
number In its history.
The morning call., 1891-03-01

1aII suwe ".
The morning call., 1891-03-01

MEN.
Governor Hill is good story-teller. Two
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20
Something About Dollars

The dollar sign (s) is not monogram of
~. S." but dates from the days when the
transfer was made from Spanish to Ameri-
can dollars and accounts were kept equally
in dollars and reals, Thus: One dollar eight
reals. Later the was placed between the
perpendicular parallel lines HSN; then the
perpendicular lines crossed the eight and
combined with it to form the present sign
50.
But the origin Of the dollar mark is not
so Important a question as how to get the
dollars, and how to get the most out of
them afterwards. A great many rules for
becoming wealthy have been given, and
John Jacob Astor's-"Cut down your ex-
penses and let your income run on'-is as
good as any. We can, however, offer some
advice on spending the money especially if
y9r%' intend to use any of it travelling: Select
any prominent place in the East, West,
North or South, and its luxurious equip;
ment, fast time, and sure connections will
convince you that it gives you the most
for your money. Anyticket agent can sell
you tickets by this line, or you can address
W. J. c. Kenyon, Gen. Pass. Agent C. B. &
N. r. R., St. Paul.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20
Badly RuSted COronets.

Dlsgraced and BLACKBOARD peers are
how quite a strong body in England.
One OF the Irish earls, who was a COR
poral in the Life Guards before he
succeeded to his title, did six months
hard laborfor some breach ofmilitary
discipline. Another peer. an English
one and the son of a Lord High Chan
cellor, can never show his face in the
House OF Lords again. Hecommitted
q disgusting crime. He has dropped
his title and IS now clerk to a firm
of auctioneers in Australia. The Mar
quis Of Aylesbury still affects his
costermonger suit on odd occasions,
and likes to make bet that he will
sell a barrow of green's as quickly as
any hawker in Whitechapel. BY the
way, it is interesting to note in the
peerage for 1891 that themarchioness
once known as Dolly Tester now
figures as dorothy Julia, daughter
OF T. Hasely, esq" Testers papa
was about as unmitigated a ruffian of
the tough tribe as England has ever
produced.-Chicago Herald.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20
The Circus Lion.

A circus man says: "Some people
think that the lion is the king OF
beasts, but if they could only see
what I have seen they would change
their opinion. A few years ago we
were showing in the Midlands, when
one OF the lions got out of his
cage and was about to make his
escape, when q man OF powerful
build, who happened to be standing
near, stepped up to his lordship and
deliberately kicked him until he
turned and erept back into the
cage
"At another time a drunken
keeper opened a cage door and a
large lion was about to spring out,
when my brother seized a barrel
stave and hammered the beast
on the head. 1t crouched down
upon the floor, and then one of
the men went up and shut the cage.
When he first saw the lion about to
escape it was standing with its head
and shoulders outside the bars and
one one bound would have given it
Nobody has ever claimed that a
circus or menagerie lion is the
liking of. beasts" But when you
meet a lion on his native and original
Jurisdiction, we doubt that it would be
a healthy operation to try to thrash
him with d barrel stave.
And if any man tried to kick a lion
wandering upon his customary ter
ritory we are inclined to think
that the result would be- disastrously
fatal to him.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20
ADJUSTMENTS IN BAVARIA.
Quaint Ways in Which the People OF That
Country Enjoy Themselves.

Quaint Ways in Which the People OF That
Country Enjoy Themselves.
AS to amusement you may trust a
Bavarian not to be behind in that, saws
the National Review. The men meet
almost nightly in the different inns and
beerhouses, according to their status
in the local societies, where they have
talk, singing, music, etc., the large
glass mugs of beer at their side being
constantly replenished. The beer is
fortunately light, but the amount drunk
is a serious expense, and much more
than the men usually can properly af-
ford. Besides these nightly gatherings
there are different clubs or societies
that meet at certain times at one or
other of the inns for an evenings
amusement, some OF. them under the
patronage of the priest. In many of
them the women join, but the women's
chief entertainments are kunkl, or
spinning parties, at home, and very
coy and picturesque these spinning
parties are.
The great feature in a Bavarian sit
ting-room is the large porcelain stove
that stands out into the room, and that
is usually lit from the passage outside.
Round this stove bench runs, making
delightfully."- warm seat, the back be-
ing the porcelain stove. But besides
this stove, in the older houses, there is
in the wall hole with chimney,
where a peculiar sort of pine, that
burns brightly without sending out
sparks, is burned at night for the pur-
pose of light only.
In olden times, when such luxuries
as lamps were unthought Of, it was
often the only means of illumination.
Some still use them constantly; others
keep them only for festive occasions.
A man Generally the wag or story
teller OF the parity sits beside it to
keep it replenished. The women have
their spinning-wheels or knitting, and
the men sit in the darker corners;
and there are always some to sing songs
or tell stories or keep the fun going
in some way. One such scene espec-
tally occurs to me.
Imagine an old, dark-paneled room.
In her armchair close to the stove, in
the full light of the blazing pine wood,
sits the handsome old hostess, in her
picturesque costume, busy with her
splnning-wheel. A young woman with
a wheel is in au opposite corner.
Three daughters knitting and guests
sit in circle, more or less, the light
playing on the varied faces and time
worn furniture as bright freight alone
can. One man has a guitar and two
girls sing Tyrolese songs. At last
schnapps of different kinds (sort of
cheap liqueurs) and delicious coffee,
with homemade cake, are handed
round, and the evening ends with
hearty farewell greeting.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20

for nothing see if ]: don't get YOU
bound to Thatcher this very week, !"
was the salution which greeted Tom.
on his return. -, -. =. -
"What have they done? you was all
friends right enough to-day mother y
"She's a; shameful bad one! a good
for-nothing, bare-faced hussy!"
/ ooh, come then, I don't believe it, -
blurted impetuous Tom. "Look here,
how can she be bad when she takes
such care of the poor old man, and
works, ah! like anything? don't be-
lieve it,
F'Don't tell me, SIR" exclaimed the
irascible Mrs. Grejous; IF you dare
take her part, or speak so much as
one word to them, I'll!-I don't know
what I won't do"
'Look here MOTHER" said Tom,
lmperturbab]y; II can sleep in that
there empty room now, and then
shall be sure to wake in good time"
awake indeed! much good you'll do
when you are awake. There, get along
with you at once-that's all the sup
per you'll, get, I can tell you"
Tom gave a. defiant look at the
cold potatoes which were destined
for his penitential meal; but as
his pocket was rarely without an
ample supply OF gingerbread and cap
taln's biscuit, it isprobable he did not
suffer materially by his rejection OF
them.
He took a very amicable leave of
his mother before retiring for the night;
I'M fact, Tomwas one of thosewithwhom
1t is simply impossible to remain very
long at variance. The cup might just
as we'll refuse to be sweetened by the
lump OF sugar that is dropped into
it's contents
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-05-20
He Had the Inst Word.

A bachelor tradesman who has lust
died in Hamburg adopted novel
method of revenging himself on the
woman who once Tilted him. In his
will he left her legacy of 10000
marks, but also indited the following
letter which he ordered to be handed
to the lady, who is now a widow, with
the money: MADAM: Some thirty
years ago was a sutton for your hand
in marriage. You refused my offer,
and as a consequence my days have
been passed in peace and quietness
Now I requite your goodness"