The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-09-10
STOP WHEN YOU ARE DONE.
An Appropriate Warming TO Preach.
ers and Lecturers.
BY KATE THORN.

BY KATE THORN.
We are requested to ask preachers
and lecturers to stop when they are
done, And we make the request with
pleasure.
In the first place, the time when
people would sit patiently and listen
to sermon three hours long is passed
by. 1t is among the things which
We're We of to-day are cursed with
nerves and unsteady backbones, And
nobody could listen attentively even
to st. Paul himself, after the said
nobody's back began to ache.
So gentlemen of the clerical ORDER
condense your sermons and give us
nthing but the pith of the thing.
Leave out some of your four and five
syllabled words, and give us instead
the simple language, and the comfort
ing assurance that there is a God who
cares for us. Let your Latin rest, and
your Greek compose itself on the up
per shelf of your memory. What the
world at large wants in preaching is
not far-fetched sentiments, inter
spersed with snatches of dead Ian
guages. They want counsel and di-
rection in the everyday things of life !;
they want to be assured that God ex-
lists, and that it is the duty of every
living thing to recognize that fact.
They want to be taught that it pays to
do right-that it pays here and pays
hereafter; and to have it instilled into
their minds that there is no real hap
piness to be found in wrong-doing.
They want to have their doubts re-
moved, their faith strengthened, their
hearts encouraged, and their belief
confirmed, that this existence is but
the beginning of life, and that the
change we call death is but transition
to nobler and more exalted state OF
being,
And this is not to be done by long
sermons. When Il sensible minister
sees his congregation getting uneasy,
| H. ,,;u o,,+ H., J;coO,rsO oh owl n,o,, n :
the risk of allowing few howery adj
jectives to run to waste. There is
nothing gained by worrying the soul
and body OF his hearers. People never
profit much by spiritual discourse
when they begin to count the panes OF
glass in the church windows, by way
of diversion, or when they speculate
on the length OF Deacon Jones nose
or the prospect Of Deacon Brown going
to sleep with that enterprising fly buz-
zing over his bald pate.
A minister should remember that
what deeply interests him may not
deeply interest somebody else; and
that no matter how finely his discourse
may sound in his own ears, there may
be ears in which it may not be so at
tractive.
The soul of wit is brevity, What
we want is quality, not quantity The
man who writes and condenses, and
condenses, and condenses again, is the
man whom we listen to with interest
Boil down your discourses. Remem
Der that mankind are mortal, and as
such subject to aches and pains. Think
of the tight boots and corsets of Sun
day congregation. Think Of the head
aches, and indigestions, brought on by
the Sabbath baked beans and brown
bread on which we feed ourselves K
listen to you. Think Of how hard it il
for us to keep the best trimmed side 0
our bonnets turned toward the aisle
for the length Of time it takes you tt
arrive at "Seventhly, my brethren
and stop when you're done.
Don't say things over twice. Don
tell us, two times in one sermon, tina
Satan is after us. Don't send us to TIN
place of the unhappy with so mucl
gusto, as if you enjoyed it. Try ant
remember that however able you ma.
be, you are not elected to judge TIN
universe.
And you will oblige us, and all tn
rest of creation, if you will stop, as "
do now, when you are done.
From Rad to Worse.