Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-11-14


! Chicago has several distinct advan-
tages over New York which strike a
traveller at once. One of them is the
rapidity with which one gets his bag
gage in Chicago. When you land in
New York or approach the city we'll
| informed and talented gentleman carry
ing a large mass of echoing brasses on
a big wire key ring goes through your
train with little memorandum book
and agrees to transfer your luggage to
your home or hotel before you can pos
sibly get there yourself.
You have rashly agreed to get mar
rled on your arrival, perhaps, or you
may have accepted an invitation to be
present at large dinner where you will
make few spontaneous, typewriter re-
marks. So when this able and thor
ouShly well informed baggage checker
man takes your check and your address
You heave sigh of relief and begin to
drink in the picturesque beauties of
Elizabeth and Jersey City, those beauti-
full abodes of wealth and beauty, and
with JOY you sniff the rich aroma from
the bone works along your route. You
feel assured that when You get to your
inn or your chocolate colored fat in One
Hundred and rhirty-ninth street your
trunk will be on the stoop with a glad
welcome and one hinge waiting for you
But after several bitter experiences in
this way you finally give it up and yield
to despair. | Go not know how many
happy weddings have been broken off
by the Express and Transfer and General
Mephistopheles association, of New York,
or how many iIlpromptu speeches have
died in the bosom of the typewriter be-
cause of this great incorporated disap-
pointment company.
Once l got nv trunk on time, but my
wife did not. We were to go together
somewhere, for we were not then posted
regarding New York customs. So we
were to go together. 1t was an evening
affair, and it was full dress. WANTED
to wear my full dress, for had nice
new suit with embroidery down the side
of the leg. 1t was my first effort in
evening drecs and was perishing to try
it, but my wife said nay. 1t would be
very rude and ole trop to wear evening
toys when she appeared in a street dress.
So ! relented and went in short coat
with hectic necktie and mingled with
those who were clad in the severest
evening dress throughout. No one knows
how many hearts have bled over these
sickening delays and disappointments.
remained month in New York at
that time hoping for another invitation
which would necessitate evening toilet,
but no one asked me out.
- !,
into the center Of the city on the north,
west and south, and when you have
bathed your features, and looked under
the bed for burglar, and rummageG
the drawers of the dressing case for for
gotten hosiery and the bric-a-brac of de-
parted guests, the porter knocks softly
ut your door AMI wheels in on rubber
tired truck your welcome trunk. 1t is a
very great comfort and delight.
Last week | met man on the train
who got even with me in a way de-
spise. He had been my guest once at
home for week, and j certainly tried
to make it pleas ant for him during that
time. He remained at the house as
much the propr etor as | was. He got
up when he felt like it in the morning,
and his breakfast was ready for him.
We saved out the tender corner of the
steak for him, and though we didn't al
WAYS like to do it, we refused the second
Joint of the fowl because we knew ne
liked it and his nerves were not quite
strong. being sort of a genius-the kind
of genius that does not think 1t has to
be responsible; the kind of intellectual
child wonder that ignores the dull &C.
tail of receipte1 bills and just equiva-
lent to people who have no genius.
You have seen such genius. 1t ex-
lists in every profession. he is the KIND
of man who walks over the PROSTATE
bodies of his friends and regards ms
wife as misguided being who has been
mercifully permitted to stand around
and admire him and reach up under his
vest for a stray suspender that he can
not get hold Of. He does not hold HIM
self anenable to the laws which govern
other people. Being genius, he taxes
three pieces of pie and then expects the
family to sit up all night and hoid ms
head for him.
He is the 40 Tor of business men, tue