The Russellville Democrat., 1891-06-04

iilit-S VIII Afiu Uu ciijCy HE
 the same blessins. I'm re-
 guvinated. I've found the
 immortal waters of yooth, so to speak, and am as Timber and frisky as two-year-old steer, and in the futur them boys which sez to me 'go up, old Bawld he'd" will do so at the peril of their hazard, individually. I'm very happy. My house is full of joy, and have to git up nights and larf Sum- times ax myself lis it not dream?o & suthin withinto me sez it airs but when look at them sweet little critters and hear 'em squawk, 1 know it is a reality-2 realitys, may say--and I feel gay.
 returned from the Summer Campane with my unparaleld show of wax works and Twin wild Beests of Pray in the early part of this munth. The peple of Baldinsville met me cordully and I i'm mejitly commenst restin myself with my falnerly. The other nite while I was down to the tavern tostin my shins agin the bar room fire < anuzin the krowd with sum of my adventurs, who shood
 
 but Bill Stokes, who sez, sez he, "Old Ward, there's grate doins up to your house."
 Sez I, "Wi1liam, how so?n
 Sez he, Bust my gizZard. but it's grate doins, S then he larfed as if heed kill hisself
 Sez l, risin and putin on austeer look, "William, woodunt be fool if had common cents"
 But he kept on larfn till he was black i'll the face, when he fell over on to the bunk where the hostler sleeps, and in q still small voice sed, "Twins' 1 ashure you gents that the grass didn't grow under my feet on my way home, & I was follered by enthusiastic throng of my feller sitterzens, who hurrard for Old Ward at the top of their voises. found the house chock full of peple. Thare was Mis- Square Baxter and her three grown up darters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Par suns, Deakun Simmuns folks, the Skool- master, Doctor Jordin, etsetterry, etset- terry. Mis- Ward was in the west room, which tines the kitchin. Mis- Square Baxter was mixin suthin in dipper be- fore the kitchin fire, & small army of female wimin were rushin wildly round the house with bottles of camfire, peaces of fiannil, Sc. never seed such hub bub in my natral born dase. cood not stay in the west room only mint, SC strung up was my feelins, so rusht out 1,,l.
 What upon airth ales the man?" sez Taberthy Ripley Stakes alive, what air you doinf" 6 she grabd me by the coat tales. What's the matter with your she continnerd.
 "Twins, marm," sez I, "twins!'
 ''I know it." sez she, coverin her pret- ty face with her apun.
 eWall," sez I, that's what's the mat ter with mer'
 Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky old fool" sed she.
 No, marm, sez l, ''this is a Nash unal day. The glory of this here day isn't confined to Baldinsville by darn site. On yonder woodshed," sed I, drawin myself up to my full hite and speakin in q show actin voice, twill fire a Nashunal salootl' saying which Jared myself from her grasp and rusht to the top of the shed wharc blazed away until Square Baxter's hired man and my son Artemus Juneyer cum and took me down by mane force.
 On returnin to the Kitchin I found quite a lot of people seated be4 the fire, talllin the event over They made room for me Ss l sot down. Quite q eppisode," sed Doctor Jordin, itin his pipe with q red-hot coal.
 "Yes," said I, ''the eppisodes, way ing abowt IS pounds jintly."
 "A perfeck coop de tat, sed the skool- master.
 'sE pluribus unum, in proprietor per sony" sed I, thinking I'd let him know I understood turin langwidges as well as he did, if I wasn't skoolmaster.
 ''It is indeed momentious event" said young Eben Parsuns, who has been quarters to the Akademy.
 s'I never heard twins called by that name afore," sed l. "but spose it's all rite.
 ''We shall soon have Wards enuff," sed the editor of the Baldinsville Bugle of Liberty, who was lookin over bundle of exchange papers in the corner, ito apply to the legislator for a City Char terri
 ''Good for you. old man" sed l; 'giv that air conspickius place in the next Bugle.
 We sot there talxin & larfin until ''ths switchin hour of nite, when grave yards . A. ,-s E----rs-s yawn & Jcsts troop 4th," as old Bill Shakespire aptlse obsarves.
 Muther & children is doin well.