Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-06-04

For years passover since the close of
the war in fact have asked every great
general of both the Northern and
Southern armies whom I have met TO jot
down for me i'll his own words what
he considered the funniest sud also
the saddest incident that had come under
his notice arising from our great con-
fiCt. THIS request Was kindly complied
with, and it was thus that The appended
symposium WAS obtained, the last of the
contributions composing it having been
received from Gen. Sherman only a few
months before his death. Doubtless
some of these anecdotes may haze been
related by their present narrd;a"S 10
other correspondents prior 10 their pub,
LEGATION here, and so me- have BEEN
previously published, but 80 far as |
know this is their first appearance in print,
as 1t most certainly Is in their present
attractive form over the sigGa' ares of
the distinguished gentlemen now telling
them. GEoFFRFY WnLISToN CHRISTINE.
GEN. GRANTS SADUsST.
II was in fed h.spita.. within whose
canvass walls many OF our brave boys lay
wounded and dying. Among them were
two comrades who We Z more nearly like
men | ever knew in real life. They
had been born and bred in the
same town, had enlisted at the
same time and had never been separated
for moment since they first donned Uncle
Sans blue uniform. | am sure that either
would gladly have laid down his life for the
other. They had both been slightly
wounded before. the one having received
bayonet thrust in the left arm, and the
other having had the index and middle i'm
gers of his right hand shot away
Now as they lie side by side. however.
their injuries We're of much more serious
character. The surgeon looked very grave
no from one m he NJ b.r no
gravity of his expression deepened As he
concluded his second examination. Then as
was his custom-fOr he held 1t aphySicldn' 5
duty to always inform patient of the true
state of his caSe-he told them plainly. but
not without feeling. that they both had out
few minutes to live. IAN right" said
one family but firmly, ''we will die together
as | always hoped we would.
Il want to go if Tom goes murmmed
the other. Give me your hand. dear old
boy" he continued, and he relched out his
left hand towards his comrade.
The dying man glasped the extended
hand. but finding it whole and unnamed
he cast it from him saying, No, no. Not
that hand! | want the one that was partly
shot away on the battlefield.
His comrade extended his wounded hand,
and Tom. his eyes fast glazing in death,
clasped it and felt for the stumpS of the
missing fingers.
and, raising it to his lips. his spirit passed
without a struggle His friend by great
eXertiOn, raised his head and looked at his
comrade. Seeing that he was no more, he
uttered 4 loud cry, and the two friends
were reunited.
HUMOROUS.
There WIS no better, more fearless or
more loyal soldier than old Jack Dublin,
but he had one fault, aud that was an over
weeninG fOndneSS for the whisky bottle.
or rather for its contents. He had a boon
companion whose real name | never knew,
but everyone called him Uncle 81. While
IN camp ola Jack was taken i'll of a fever
and. despite the unremitting attention of
Uncle 81. died. The corpse developed an
unusual rigidity after death and strange
tendency to fly up into a sitting posture.
Accordingly on the night before its burial 1t
was stretched out At full length upon
board resting upon two wooden treStles
with its head and feet tied down by ropes.
Old Uncle 81 insisted upon watching the
remains OF his dead friend. Shortly after
midnight he became very thirsty and
stepped out 10 aneigh boring suffers to pro-
cure a drink During his somewhat pro-
tracted absence two large cats found their
way to the tent containing the remains of
old Jack, and when Uncle ST returned he
was naturally indignant at seeing these
felnes sitting on the corpse-one at the
head. the other at the feet.
Selling billet of wood from the ground,
ne aimed a powerful blow with II at the
pussy sitting near the head. 1t missed its
mark and struck and severed the rope hold
ing down the head of the corpse, which i'm
mediately flew into sitting posture. SeiZ-
ing the dead man by the shoulders and
forcing him back into recumbent position,
Uncle ST explained in an aggrleved tone:
Darn We, old man. lie down and keep quiet,
III attend to the cats. L. =. GIANT.
GEN LEES PATHETIC.
Many of the most beautiful and rathetic
incidents of the war occurred after 1t was
all over AT hotel in Washington in 1865
a gentleman whose face | could not re-
member exactly, though il seemed strangely
familiar, introduced himself and asked per-
mission 10 present me to his mother. SIN
eularly beautiful old lady of queenlv and
dignifed bearing TO whom he said,
Mother. let me present to You Gen. X. F.
Lee of the late Confederate army. whose
saber thrust gave me this scar on my right
cheek and who bears the mark of wounG
| gave him - The beautiful old .adv thrcy
her arms around my neck and wept on my
shoulder in that tender embrace ana the
fervent clasp of the Federal officers hand
and mine we buried the animOSiiies of the
war forever.
HIS MOST HUMOROUS.
One of the most devoted adherents the
Southern cause ever had was Col. NJ.
No matter how thick and black disaster
lowered upon our arms the colonel never
saw anything hut brightest nope and
absolute surety of success in the
near future. In fact, ne might
not inapDroDrately have been STYLED
the Caleb Baiderstone of the Confederate
army, for Just as the original Caleb was al
ways representing his master as csing in
the most affiuent and prosperous cIrcum
stances, and inventing the most ingenious
lies 10 make it appear so, the colonel con-
stantly represented the resources OF the
Southern people TO be limitless in the same
clever fashion.
Al length when defeat stared Us plainly
in the face and my surrender 10 Gen. Grant
was inevitable. a young officer deliberately
limited 10 the colonel that perhaps his con-
fidence in the ultimate success Of our arms.
which was still as boastful as ever. was
perhaps trifie oyer-weeuing. The colonel
looked at him for a moment with an ex-
preston in which contempt. anger. horror
and amusement struggled for the mastery.
Then with hands uplifted. hair standing on
end and eyes flashing fire, he rosred out at
the discounted Lieutenant in the voice OF a
stentor, Dam up Niagara Falls with tissue
paper: bottle up the Atlantic ocean in u
whisky flask paste to let on the sun and
moon: catch fash of lightning between
your thumb and finger: build worm fence !
around a winter supply of summer weather:
harness thunder bot TO a sulkey; wait all |
the clouds out of the sky with ladys fan; |
saddle and ride hurricane; faSten a dish |
clout to the tail of comet; pack up all the |
stars IL beer keg: knock tornado out OF |