The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-06-11

and stood for some time unobserved
by the digger, who was engrossed in
his trenching. When at length he was
noticed, he asked: ''Do they often die
here?'
The sexton, with a look of unmixed
astonlshment, replied: ''Na, ma; onlv
vance," The Southerner had no 9th.
er query
A Rich Old Fraud.
Old Bullion-"What's the matter
now?"
Young Wife (pouting)-3sYou have
not kept your word. You said, be-
fore marriage, you'd do anything in
the world to- please me-"
eyes"
"You said you would gladly die for
me-"
eyes,"
"Well, but you don't. New York
Weekly.
Evidently Billionaire,
Mrs. Hayseed- is this Mr..
Gilman who is comm here to
board?''
Farmer Hayseed- don't know
but he's rich as all pos
sessed. Some relation o. Jay Gould
OF Vanderbilt, I reckon"
Mrs. Hayseed-''How dye know"
Farmer Hayseed-"He didn't ask a.
durn question about rates.
York Weekly.
At the Zoo.
Shells that a rattlesnake?
Attendant-Yes, ma'am
GLOW many rattles has he?'
"Fifteen and a button"
MAY I make him rattle?"
"Certainly marm."
"What must I do?7
'You touch the button and he will
do the rest" -ArkansaW Traveller.
lnthe Weighing Room.
Owner Ito Jockeys: civilians, you
are too heavy yet. Can't you take
something Off"
Jockey: "I'm wearing my lightest
suit of clothes. I haven't tasted a.
morsel OF food this day., and have
just cut my fnger-nails."
Owner. 'Then 60 and get shaved"
Don Chisciotte. r.
.s Wfreresto Find Buttons.
SWhere you going?" asked Par
son Jones OF his wife, on seeing her
put on her hat.
''You need a button on your coat
and | ana going to the store to buy
one, was the reply.
"Have you looked over the money
that was taken up In the collection
last Sunday?"
Great Expectations.
Brown (second day in the country
Did you plant the radishes in that
bed?
His Gardener-Oi did, sor, this NOR
MIN.
Brown-Well, what's the matter
with them? Pm afraid there won't
be one Of them up in time for dinner!
Grip.
Disqualified.
Johnny-Pa, when I become a man,
could I be elected President of the
United States?''
Enthusiastically, my boy, you
were born in this country.
''And could I be a policeman if I
to-"
"Why, no. You were born in this
country" Life.
Cyclone Cellars.
"What are thoseholes for?' inquired
the new conner.
"For cyclones" answered the Kan
sas man, briefly.
"What!" cried the tenderfoot; edo
you plant 'em?'' y
"Yep; That's how're raise the wind!"
Puck.
He Was Indignant
Master of the House (writing let
ter): "My dear friend, I cannot write
to you as freely as I would like, as my
new secretary is impertinently looking
over my shoulder
Secretary, Indignantly, from the
'ear: "Im doing nothing OF the kind,
sir"
After Facts.
Reporter: care there eny more
acts about the deceased that you
would like to have mentioned"
Relative: Eyes; hewas the Oldest in
labitant of the place"
Reporter: "Ah, Isee. On his fathers
or his mothers side?"
What Pa Said.
A small boy went to see his grand
mother. After looking eagerly round
he handsomely furnished room where
he sat, he exclaimed, inquiringly:-
"Oh, grandmamma, where is the
table papa says you keep?''
Extenuating Circumstances.
Judge: "Have you anything to say
n mitigation OF your offences'