Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-07
OUR BRAVE DEFENDERS
The Evolution of the Policeman
From Blouse 10 Broadcloth-
WHISPERS AND ANGLES DISAPPEAR
Giving Way TO Moastachsd, staisart
symetry-fhe New CepP~rs Trials
A Martyr Before the Board
aud a Tartar in the street

poets, who are borL too frequently anu
killed too seldom. The lordly person
age that you see sauntering IN conscious
majesty up the street. Is not psrvenoi
the creature OF an hour, who has burst
his chrysalls of greasy blouse and over
alls and fluttered forth resplendent IN
blue broadcloth and brass buttons. The
typical policeman is development and
tue process of hls evolution IL interest
!ug. If yea viii visit the commission
ers' department IN the city hall any
Friday afternoon you Will nnd large
aggregation OF the raw material on hand
waiting for inspection. They are OF All
sorts and many sizes. The map OF Erln's
emerald isle IS plainly depicted upon
many of the faces. and the othe ers are
made up of red faced English, brawny
Scots and corpulent Dutch and Ger
mans. The board sits IN solemn gram
deur within the inner sanctum and Sec
retary McReynolds plucks the biushlng
candidates one by one and ushers them
into the presence. President More
sends his cold blue eye back and forth
through the candidates anatomy,
thereby causing him great discom fort,
and asks him n few questions IN regard
to his age, nationality and the condi-
ton or his llver. The applicant thinks
he is a big man when he comes into the
roomi but when Commissioner Leltelt's
tremendous stature rises before nim and
keeps on rising until he seems TO NIL the
whole room, the fellow feels like GULL
Yer III Brobding.
He Is Full of Sinuosities.
The new man is as full of angles as
the forty-seventn problem of Euclid,
! and Commissioner Loetgert looks him
over for spaVns, inc.plent ringbones,
capped hooks and thrush. CommIs-
sloner Hatch tests the applicants abil-
ity TO stop a pig in an alley, and asks
| him what he would do If he saw boy
stealing fruit from grocer's sidewalk
exhibit. Ii he replies very tiercely, "Td
mash the head av him." his Questioner
| is satisfied. Commissioner Bender takes
| sterographic notes of the examination,
and makes map of the anatomical
convolutions of the applicant. The
| poor wretch Is then pushed into the
corridor limp, perspirng wad OF dazed
| humanity. A little child could lead
him and II pug dog could scare him INTO
a mt. "he day OF probationary appoint
ment arrives, a large nickel badge is
| pinned upon the new mans undersblrt,
y club is stuffed into his bootleg and he
walks out with rolling gait 10 spot
accommodating saloon men. In less
than week every saloonist IN the city
is looking upon hlm with hloathng and he
has rather poor opinion of himself.
| BY and by the confirmation of his ap-
polntment comes, and with it his
authority to don the reglmentals of his
Office. His frowzv whiskers are tabooed
by the department, and he gets him TO
barber shop. The setting up drill Is
commenced. the crooks and bends IN
his spine aud the wobble IN nls legs
begin to disappear. The mental strain
OF walking without putting his HANDS
! IN his pockets wears on hlm at first,
but he usually survives the struggle.
| The new man is apt 10 oyerestlmate his
importance, and generally starts out
| with the intention of making a record
within the first ten hours # he bursts a
suspender. After few hours practice
before a mirror he is able 10 assume q
naughty, lmperlous cast of counten-
ance calculated to strike terror To the
hearts of the small boys and inspire
profound respect in older people. The
effort required TO maintain an air of
grim severity is Very uresome, and II
fails to produce the desired effect. Ii
takes time to convince new officer of
this, but he learns it sooner or later.
lie Yearns for Blood and Battle
HIS first arrest Is anticipated with
pleasure and remembered with regret
10y all parties concerned. A horrible
craving for battle and bloodshed pos
sesses him; he longs to detect a gang of
desperate burglars raidinga a bank. 30 that
he may rush IN and capture tue whole
gang and cover himself with gore and
glory. The uneventful hours drag
YEARLY on and no sensational capture
is made. BY and by a tramp Is found
dreamly doing on bench IN the park
or II may be that some drunken
rounder Is found reclining IN a stair
way. Here is a golden opportunity;
the new copper thinks he recognizes
some noted criminal IN has UNCONSCIOUS
victim, and he swoops down upon HIM
with fierce growl of triumph The
first move he makes is to grip his victim
by the collar aud ydnk hum all over the
walk. The surprised unfortunate pro-
tests at this treatment and then the
club begins to swing like fail. In two
minutes the arrested man looks as If he
had been enjoying himself at an Irish
piCnic. The patrol wagon comes and ms
battered remains are loaded in 10 be
taken TO headquarters. This excess OF
zeal on the part of the new man Is
moderated from time to time as he i
called down and advised by bis su.
perlor officers, and roasted bv the press
In the course of a few weeks he Is
either developed INTO p model patrol.
man or is summary bounced.
Great Change Takes Place.
From being the most prominent oh
ject nn the street during times of peace
aud becoming oonspIcuously absfn II
time Of trouble, be learns 10 move
along IN a modest genuemanly way and
ls right on hand whenever ana whereve-
n row occurs. No man IN the communi
" is more entitled TO pubic praise snf
respect than the veteran policeman
| lie has watched through the wlntei
storms and the Summer heat. IN th'
hlsze of the noondsv sun and IA th'
blsekuess Of the stormy midnight Z
protect the lives and property of hn
fellow citizens. He 3 expected 70 Cir
cumvent the combined ingenuity Of ~
vast army Of crooks. detect the md
night assassin and face danger snf
death at soy moment that
may occur n the line o
hs duty The policeman who d
! MANNED or wounded iu the dischafg'
Of bls duty hss no redress except ss iIl
generous comrades see ~ 20 give q on
af their own limited resources Tn'
local police hsve formed mutual pro
/ tr-s4sf seaf-r \ ON sFla she srs4 Il es}rT