The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-06-26
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MR.. AND MRS. EowsER.
Mr.. Rowser's Little Lesson and How
Ne Took 1t.
New York World. !


New York World.l
mrs. bowser." began Mr.. Bowser, as he
came down stairs the other morning, els
this house run on system or is everything
expected to take care of itself?"
What do you meanW she asked
II mean that have been looking for a
shoestring for the last hour and half, and
that nothing of the sort is to be foundp
mo; don't believe there is one in the
house."
II presume notl presume the two hun
dred pairs bought in Detroit the day be-
fore we left have all been chewed up by
the cat or sold to the ragman. If there's
worse run house than ours in America
I'd like to see it'll"
"Why, Mr.. Bowser, you only brought
home three shoestrings, and you used two
of those to tie up your papersp
well, where's the other?''
II can't tell. We may have lost it in
moving and unpacking"
Don't doubt it in the least. While shoe
string is not as big as piano or as valua-
BILE as a clock, the loss of it shows a want
of system, reckless extravaganza truly
discouraging. Have you got a piece of
clothes line in the housei"
81 don't think So" she stammered.
Probably noti Probably gone to join
the shoestringl 1 must have something
to tie up my shoe with, however, and /
will use piece of stovepipe wire"
After breakfast, when ready to 30 out, he
said:
Mrs. Bowser, hope you will take this
lesson to heart. Carelessness in a wife is n
very reprehensible trait"
"You are just as careless as / amp she
protested.
mo, ma'aml No, ma'am. / never mis-
lay anything. forget anything or lose any
thingl Very few husbands do. will go
around the world with a pin in my vest
and bring the same one back with me. II
you go out on the street today you had bet
ter have policeman go with you. If not
you'll lose your purse or be robbed of your
cloak"
When Mr.. Bowser came up to luncheon
he entered the house with a smile on his
face and the doormat in his hand, and
said:
II found boy walking off with this
natl Has any one taken the range out of
the basement? It's a wonder to me they
haven't come in after the carpetsp
That's mat the girl put out in the bar
rel to be carted away" she explained.
"Ohi 1t isl More reckless extravaganza,
with you some day and have long talk.
think you mean we'll, but you are def
Gent in judgment, and your knowledge of
the world is very, very limited"
do you know everythingi" she sarcas-
tically queried.
Mrs. Bowser," he replied, as he folded
his hands under his coattails and assumed
49, GOV oA<S~ .-s~s@---s-s sf@Lara ara
one or two things don't Know Dffo 6oRgg
claim to know it all, and l don't say you
know nothing whatever The husband
who does not, however, know forty times
as much as his wife would be considered a
stick of a man. Did you go out this morn
ingT
az did"
"Was your bonnet taken off your heads"
mo, STRIP
"Lucky-yery luckyi You are to be con-
graduated. don't"-
"Mr. Bowser, where's your watch?" she
interrupted.
my watch, Mrs. Bowser-my watch is
great Scottp'
He dropped his hand to find the chain,
but 1t was not there. He felt for the
watch. but it was gone.
ibid you leave it at the jeweler's?" she
asked, as he stood with open mouth and
stared at her.
"Jewelersi MOI It'sgonei I've lost It'll
I've been robbed" he shouted, as he danced
around.
sit can't be. Feel your pockets"
pockets! Pocketsi Do you 'spose
carry my watch in my coattail pocketf /
tell you pve been robbedr'
well, don't take on so. Your wallet is
safe, isn't it?"
"G-gone" he gasped, as he put his hand
up-"watch and wallet both gonei'
you must have been robbed in some
crowd" she suggested.
Robbed Crowd Robbed OF course
I've been robbedp' he shouted as he pranced
about. "Git that internal cat off that
lounge and lemme lay down, for Pm so
weak can't stand upl Where is that cam
phor?"
She ran for the bottle as he Topped down,
and for the next three minutes he had his
nose in the opening.
You ought to go to the police at once"
she finally said.
"G-gonel G-gonep he gasped.
But how could you have been robbed?"
II dunnol Hold the bottle little high
erp'
"You are so careful, you know"
"Yes.n
You never mislay anything or forget
anything"
"No.n
"And never lose anything, and have so
much worldly wisdom"
"Ohl my headl'
81 can't make it out / am so careless
that l might lose a shoestring in moving
here from Detroit, but you"-
Don't talk to mel Over 5000 gonep'
"a woman tried to steal my reticule in
pn oil nd 7
seems that you"-
"Gonei Gonep he groaned.
Haven't you no idea of when it was
takenW she persisted.
mop
well, am sorry, but this will be a
great lesson to you. You will be more"--
Mrs. Bowser" he interrupted, as he
suddenly sat up, 81 see through it all now.
It's as plain as daylightr'
What do you mean~
81 thought it necessary this morning TO
give you a little advice. l felt it to be NV
duty as husband. This is your way of
getting evenp
"Why, Mr.. Bowserl"
Don't why Mr.. Bowser mel It's as
plain as that chair over therep'
How could l rob you or tell any one
else to~ she demanded.
Never you mindl / see it ALL It's all
right, Mrs. Bowser-all right Just let go
this camphor bottle and take seat in the
other rooml A husband will bear a great
deal from the woman he loves, but when
crowded too far he turns at bay. have
turned. As soon as feel little bit better
we will come to an understanding, and
you can probably take the noon train for
your mothers in Detroit. Robbed Plum
deredl But see through it and know my
dutyp' =