Morning journal and courier., 1891-07-09
CATCHING.

"How contagious the gentleman behind the bat isl" said Boston girl at the base ball match.-Washington Star. It is odd but true that when man runs for office his success depends entirely on the way he stands.-Baltimore American.
 "Jimpson is very deliberate in his movements" 'fYes It takes him an hour to get ten minute walk. ."-Harper's Bazar.
 ''Do you shave yourself all the timef" asked the barber. 'No, stop occasional ly for meals" said Jimpian, savagely.- Truth.
 The good humored man should not be considered unbalanced simply because his gravity is easily turbed.-Binghamton Republican.
 A thief died in an Iowa poorhouse, and local paper so1emnly declares that Ca thief can't make an honest living in that state. e."-Columbus Post. 70. ae"--.
 Aunt Betsey thinks it Is shame that with so many unemployed men in the country the great manufacturing corpora tions should employ mule spinners.- Lowell Courier
 An Unselfsh Boy.-'Tommy," said Mrs. Glim, ''you should not shoot your fire crackers in the house." ''But I want you to enjoy them too, mamma" replied the thoughtful boy.-Brooklyn Life.
 Improbable, Unfortunately ly.-Newsboy- "Last edition of the World! One cent !" Citizen-"Boy, if you guarantee that will be positively the last edition of the World I'll give you dollar for it."-Life's Calen- dar.
 Polite waitress-Tea, doctorl Doctor No, coffee, if you please. Waitress-Roast beef, doctori Doctor-If you please. Waitress-Corn, doctori Doctor Qndig- nantly)-No, madam, I am a dentist Drake's Magazine.
 'I suppose" said the doctor, as he care fully bound up the stump of Sammy's ann putated arm, "that you will not shoot of toy cannons on the next Fourth" "Why notl" replied Sammy. 'I have one arm left yet. t."-Brooklyn Life.
 ''If there's anything sarcastic in nature," observed Mrs. Jimsey, tits the sight of a huge rainbow telling us we needn't be scared of being flooded out, just after the smallest sprinkling of a shower in long, dry spell, when everyone's perishing for ain."-Puck.
 Beware-Mr. Bloobumper Gin the course of an argument)-Ye Pm certain of it. Mrs. Bloobumper-You shouldn't be too certain. It's very dangerous. "How sol" "Well, we read in the Bible that certain man fell among thieves. Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
 It is told that one day during the war a squad of confederates, wearing captured blue overcoats, rode up to house in Ten nessee and greeted the owner with: "Well, old man, what are you, reb or yankl" Puzzled by the blue coats and gray pants, and not knowing to which army his wis itors belonged, Old Caution answered: "Well, gentlemen, Pm nothin', and very little of that. Nov Orleans New Delta.
 have before me letter from Psrisian friend, a gentleman of some literary note in his own country, who informs me that he is learning English by the aid of a small text book and dictionary, without any other instructor, and he adds: f'In small time I can learn so many English as l think I will to come at the America and to go on the scaffold to lecture" I sincerely hope my ambitious friend will not have to go on the scsffold to lecture (though some people in this country do sol, and that he may, by the time he comes to the America, catch on to the distinction which the word platform" enjoys among us."-Detroit Free Press.