davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DR. Isaac
Thompson's Eve Water Druggists sell 1t BIC.
How CAN man follow calling and
yet be at the head of his profession?
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

Newton :. Worden Of 81. stephen. y. B.
employed by +. F.. Rose in that town. was
confronted by his employer as he was atou,
to take the boat for Boston. Worden re-
turned to Roses house. AMI excusing him.
self a minute went into another room anG
committed suicide by shooting. Financ:a
difficulties
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

CHOOSE wife on saturday" says the
proverb. ant not on sunday. On Il week
day you can find out whether she uses
sAPOI.IO and whether she is good house,
Enp,ar
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26
Hunger Drircs q La,ryer Mad.

S NJ. Garrette, an attorney of Kansas
City. Kansas. was found in his Office
a raving maniac. lie was very poor, had
no money to buy food, and was too proud TO
beg. Hunger drove him mad.
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26
Hoods

SarsapariIia is The only medicine of which
100 Doses One Dollar" can truly be said. Each
bottle of Hoods Sarsaparil!a contains 100 doses
and Will last month, while other preparations
from one two weeks; therefore Hoods Sarsapa-
alla combines economy ana strength.
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

EITS.-Al Fits stopped free bv Dr. kline'S Great
Nerve RcstOrer. No Fits after frs. days use Mar
veious cures Treatise and 500 trial bottle
Fit send 20 DIR. Kline. 9} Arch St. Phila Pa.
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

A IlvEHYMAN bats his horse &c catch
a customer.
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26
Hoods Sarsaparilla

fold by all druggists. 81 six for 81 Prepared onl!
Ls L. /. HOOD X co. Lowell, Mass.
100 Doses One Dollar
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

TuE Only security for all is Il free
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26
DURIFY YOUR
/ BLOOD.

But do not use the dangerous alkaline
and msrcuriai preparations which destroy
your nervous system and ruin the digestive
power Of the stomach. The vegetable king
dom gives Us the best and safest remedial
agents. Or. Sherman devoted the greater
part Of his lie 10 the discovery Of this reIia.
bic and safe remedy, and all its ingredients
are vegetable. He gave it the name Of
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

SAID one lady: Il wish my children looked
as bright and healthy rs yours do. Re-
picI the other lady: Mine would look Just
as sickly and puny as yours if did not oc-
caSi0naliy give them DR.. Bulls Worm
Destruyci BY mail p cents. John D.
Park ('inrjnnati ohio
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

TASTE cannot be controlled by law
BEECHAM's PILLS cure Sick Headache.
The farmers' union., 1891-03-26

BEST. easiest to use and cheapest. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. BY druggists. SOC.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
Books Made of Clay.

Far away beyond the plains of Meso.
potamia, on the banks Ct the river Tigris,
hes the ruins Of the ancient city of Nine
veh. Not long since huge mounds Of
earth and stone marked the Place where
the palaces and walls Of the proud capital
of the great Assyrian empire stood. The
spade and scraper, first of the French
and then of the English, have cleared all
the earth away and laid bare all that re-
mains of the old streets and palaces where
the proud princes Of Assyria walked and
lived. The gods they w%orshiped and
the books they read have all been revealed
to the sight of a wondering world.
The most curious of all the curious
things preserved in this wonderful man
ner are the clay books of Nineveh. The
chief library of the city was contained in
the palace of Kanyunjik. The clay books
which composed its contents were sets of
tablets covered with very small letters.
The tablets are all oblong in shape, and
when several of them are used for one
book the first line of the tablet following
was written at the end Of the one pre-
ceding it. The writing was done when
the clay of the tablet was soft; it was
then baked to hardenit Each tablet was
numbered just as librarians of today
number the books of which they have
charge st. Louis Republic.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
George W. childs on Vacations.

My rule has been to follow faithfully
that line Of business for which I felt the
consciousness of being adapted. In this
view selected the newspaper, and to it
| devote my time and talents. / follow
out the one line of business pursuit
rather than engage in many. A few
days ago certain gentlemen came to me
to ask me to engage with them in the
line of banking. Il am not a banker"
said I. Il am a newspaper man"
But" they persisted, we do not ask
for your time, but only yoar name, and
the use of your name to us will be worth
800, 600 n year to you" I did not, how
ever. accede to their request. I had no
inclination to engage with them in the
pursuit of banking, because it was out
side of my line, and having more than
enough money to meet ny modest neces-
sites, and without a child in the world,
| did not feel like taking 800, 900 each
year for doing nothing to ear it.
The great trouble with mankind is to
stick to that pursuit of which they have
knowledge. Some men get strangely
mixed up. happen to know a banker
in this town. with good general informal
ton, but with no aptitude for banking.
Yet he plods along in his line, acquiring
nothing, you may say, and at times the
necessities of his business have COM
PEELED him to raise money on the family
plate. Now, he is out of his line, and
will fail, probably, until he finds that
which is his real bent and grayitates to
it.-Interview in Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
THE DYKES OF HOLLAND.
Their Appearance and How They Pro-
feet the Land and Are Protected.

Their Appearance and How They Pro-
teet the Land and Are Protected.
A certain jealous dame is said to have
once attempted to sweep the ocean away
with a broom. The Dutch have been
wiser than this. They are slow and de-
liberate people. Desperation may use
brooms. but deliberation prefers clay
and solid masonry. So, slowly and de-
l~iberately, the dykes, those great hill
like walls of cement and stone, have
risen. to breast the buffeting waves.
And the funny part Of it is they are so
skillfully slanted and paved on the out
side with fiat stones that the efforts of
the humping waves to beat them down
only make them all the firmer!
These Holland dykes arc among the
wonders of the world. cannot say for
how many miles they stretch along the
coast and throughout the interior; but
YOU NAV be sure that wherever a dyke is
necessary to keep back the ~encroaching
waters there it is. Otherwise nothing
would be there, at least nothing in the
form of land; nothing but a fearful il
lustration Of the principal law of hydro
states: Water always seeks its level.
Sometimes the bikes, however care
fully built, will spring u leak and if
not attended to at once terrible results
are sure to follow. Inthreatened places
guards are stationed at intervals and a
steady watch is kept up night and day.
At the first signal Of danger every
Dutchman within hearing of the start
ling bell is ready to rush to the rescue.
When the weak spot is discovered, what
do You think is used to meet the emerg-
ency? What but straw-everywhere
else considered the most helpless of all
things in water! Yet straw, in the
hands of the Dutch, has Q will of its
own. Woven into hugo mats and Sc
curely pressed against the embankment,
it defes even a rushing tide, eager to
sweep over the country.
These bikes form almost the only per-
fectly dry land to be seen from the
ocean side. They are high and wide,
with fine carriage roads on top, some
times lined with buildings and trees.
Living on one side of them, and nearly
on a level with the edge, is the sea, lake,
canal or river, as the case may be; on
the other the fiat fields stretching damp
ly along at their base, so that cottage
roofs sometimes are lower than the shin
ing line of the water.
Frogs squatting On the shore can take
quite a bird'seye view Of the landscape,
and little fish wriggle their tails higher
than the tops of the willows near by.
Horses look complacently down upon
the bell towers, aud men in skiffs and
canal boats sometimes know when they
are passing their friend Dirk's cottage
only by seeing the smoke from its CHM
ney, or perhaps by the cart wheel that
he has perched upon the peak of its over-
hanging matched roof. in the hope that
some stork will build her nest there and
so bring good luck.-Mary Mapes Dodge
in st. Nicholas.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
Wouldn't Ben Franklin stare.

Globular lightning can be produced
with S called statical electricity, OBJ
tanned from an influence machine. Two
thin brass wire points from the poles of
a powerful machine being held at a GER
tain distance from the opposite sides of
In insulated plate Of mica, ebonite,
glass or the like, there appear small red
luminous balls, which move about, now
quickly, nov slowly, and are sometimes
still. Even better effects were HAD With
a glass or paper disk which had been
sprayed with parafhne. Small quanti-
ties of liquid or dust seem to be the car
riers of the light. A slight air current
makes the spherulesd disappear with hiss
ing noise.-New York Journal.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
From tho Stage to the Ear.

Most actors and actresses are in the
profession because they are in love with
it, but among the members of the 'sBrass
Monkey company is q handsome and
bewitching brunette who but six months
ago made her debut On the stage as a
stepping stone to some interior object in
life.
This young lady halls from Chicago.
and is just II. She is an exceptionally
brilliant linguist, has a fine voice. is
graceful in the extreme, and Is a clever
little actress. Her intentions are to re-
main OH the stage just n year, and
then study law with II view of practicing
as an attorney in I~llino;s. She is taking
this preliminary course "a the stage for
the purpose of perfecting her %elocution-
ary powers and to cultivate an sat
home feeling with large audiences.
The real name of this young Lady is
Fanchon Conyers, and it is safe to pre-
dict that she will be heard from some
lay in the legal arena like the cricket on
she heartll.-Portland Oregonian.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
The Average Congressman Is Poor.

To the average congressman $1,000 a
year is considerable money. l would
not like to say that there are any gentle
men in congress who do not attach more
Importance to the honor of a seat III the
national legislature than they do to the
amount Of salary they are paid for their
services. Still, l have good reason for
saying that there are more men in con-
gress who manage to save something
out of their salaries than there are of
those who practically neve touch their
allowances as congressman.
There are several men now in the
house who live during the session Of
congress upon the amounts that they re-
ceive as mileage and what they are al
lowed with which to purchase station
cry. At home it does not cost them any
ready money for their expenses, or if it
does they are able to make sufficient to
meet them. Consequently these con-
gress1nen are able to save the $4,000
they receive during their term of Office.
john Ouin in New York Telegram.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13

S4nll.ad h q Pnniher.

Ralph Flynn. a rancher living at
Wayne, on the Seattle, Lake Shore and
Eastern railway. has had a dangerous
encounter with a panther and narrowly
escaped the claws of the beast.
Flynn started hunting early morn
ing. taking with him a Winchester rifle
of the latest patent, which he had Just
bought and had not learned to handle
with skill. He was looking principally
for deer, and had gone about five miles
through a deep thicket when he came
suddenly upon the partially devoured
carcass of a sheep. which had evidently
fallen a prey to u panther. Remember
ing reports of sheep having been killed
nv wild animals in his neighborhood,
FLYNN fastened on, nerving himself for
a tussle with Il cougar or some equally
fierce beast. With the assurance that
his gun was prepared he cautiously eyed
every nook as he passed, occasionally
seeing fresh tracks of varmints.
Flynn Travelled on about two miles IN
this manner without success, and gave
ND the chase on that line. He had just
turned to retrace his steps when his eye
caught what seemed to be a dogs head
peering at him over q log. a second
look proved to Flynn that it was a
panther instead of a dog. Taking de-
liberate aim, Flynn rested his rifle
against a tree and fired at the animals
head. The ball only stunned the brute,
which, with crazy leap, made toward
Flynn. The latters delay in ~reloadins
on account of the new patent nearly
proved fatal to himself, as the panther
was within twenty feet Of him when he
shot it dead between the eyes. The
brute was between Flynn and the sleeps
carcass, and had followed him by its
keen scent for two miles.
1t measured nine feet from tip to tip,
and its hide is now Il trophy highly
priced by Flynn.-Seattle Post-1ntelli-
OanpnT-
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
ri. LAVA Of yy1,at a Proprietor "a,


They ushered him into the editors
sanctum. lie was a tall negro, with an
oily skin as black as your coat, flat nose,
thick lips. and the shiniest OF shiny eyes
and teeth. lis dis de editor?:' he in
CURED as he twirled his hat in his hand.
He was informed that it was.
well. boss, I wants to get a job" he
said.
What is your business"
The old negro drew himself up to his
full height and answered: Use been de
proprietor OBJ de New leans Piccyune
fo' twenty years"
''Oh, you have been proprietor of The
New Orleans Picayune for twenty years,
have your
Eyes, sah."
well I suppose you wrote the editor
ials then"
.Oh, no., sab; we had de editors for tc
do dat"
Eyes? Perhaps, then, you gathered
the news.
.No, sab, de reporters did dat"
You read the proof, then. very
likely"
Ion, no, no, no, sab, we had de proof
readers for to do dat"
The editor became amused at the old
darky, and determined to see in what
position his boosted proprietorship would
and him, so he questioned him in re-
gard to the various positions right down
the list, and still his funston remained
undiscovered.
"Weil," he was finally asked, what
was yo.r positions"
He hesitated Il moment and then an
swered in tho most impressive voice he
could command:
'Ill tell you what, boss, if you wants
to get some one to oil de joints oh you
engine down stars, l ken do it better
dan any man in towu.'-New York
Trihrnn
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
NJ. CoqueIin,s Real Shores.

He must feel, but he must guide and
check his feelings as a skillful rider
curbs and guides a fiery horse, for he has
a double part to play; merely to feel
himself is not enough; he has to make
others feel, and this he cannot do with
out the exercise of restraint. Let me
make use of an instance afforded me by
NJ. Coquelin himself.
Once, he says, he was tired before he
came on the stage, and falling sound
asleep when feigning sleep, he snored
real SHORES instead of feigned ones. The
result was, he tells US, that he never
snored so badly. Naturally so, since he
had lost control of the steed of feeling by
the fact of his sleeping, and so it ran
away and carried him he knew not
where; but had NJ. Coquelin at some
time in his experience shed real tears,
while at the same time in full possession
of his waking faculties, and had he been
able to guide those tears into the chan
mel that his artistic sense told him to be
the right one, then we should not have
heard that the audience foundt those real
tears less effective than tears wholly
feigned and the product of intellect
rather than of feeling.-Salyini in Cent
IVY
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
-hc Collegiate Alunna.

The collegiate ai2mn@ have now over
1900 members, and are winning a posi-
ton of influence IS the organized body
of women college graduates of the coun-
try. Fifteen colleges are represented in
the association, Bryn Mawr having just
been admitted to fellowship. There is
some i'll feeling among graduates of col
lege not received over the strictness
Of the alumn9 rules. Mrs. Cleveland
once refused to attend a meeting because
Wells college was not recognized, but
this winter nineteen different institu-
tons have been rejected. The alumnm
are bent on winning respect for degrees
given to women, and admit within their
pale only colleges which come up to a
high scholastic standard. This is prob
ably wise, but in many quarters it makes
the college ONT unpopular.-New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
How the Condnetor settled IL.

Everybody is familiar with the specta-
Gle of two women in astreet car endeav-
oring to pay N another's fare, but it re-
NAMED for an energetic Brooklyn con-
ductor the other day to take the matter
in his own hands and straighten out the
snarl. Asusual, VIXEN the two were seat
ed each plunged for her purse, which re-
ceptacles were brought out with mutual
protests. No. l got out her coin, a dime,
saying c~omplacently, "It's all ready, my
dear" But No. 9 had a quarter which
she really wanted changed" Soft went
on while the conductor stood before them
waiting for some decision, None came
and he grew impatient, He counted out
som change in each hand. Let me
have your dime, please" he said to No.
/, and she obediently handed it over.
Then he put out his hand to No. 2, who
gave him her quarter, not understanding
what was coming. Then quickly to No.
/ he handed a nickel, and to No. . twenty
cents in change before either of the wo-
men discovered his intention, and walked
off to the platform muttering something
that probably would not look well in
print.-New York Times.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
Love Laughs at Zero.

| blew across the Brooklyn bridge n
night and wondered at my own temer-
ity.
In those breezy spaces it was as cold
as mans ingratitude. 1t seemed to me
as if my spine were the tube of a
thermometer, and that the pith and
marrow thereof was q very frozen mer-
curry. | marked time at the double
quick, let me tell you, in an attempt to
get away from my chills, and decided
that aerial promenades were far more
seasonable in June than in December.
In the dark recesses of the New York
pier l beheld them sitting in a corner.
She was very dear to him apparent
~, for he held her closer than a ilapjack
to an INCREASED griddle, and I surmised
that masculine propinquity was very
much to her taste also from the way she
cuddled and Struggled and rubbed her
red lips against his mustaches, The
wind curled ard swirled around them.
but did not appear to touch them. and
they were so warm and comfortable in
their corner that they almost seemed
to radiate the heat, and | was tempted
to stop and warm my hands at them.
Il never see the like said the gray
coated defender of the bridge, stamping
his feet to keep them warm. 1T don't
make no odds how bad the might, they're
always here from s to -. They seem so
pleased and comfortable like that l hain't
the heart to tell them to move on. In
fact, it kinder seems to take the chill off
to watch EN-. But how they keep 50
warm is a mystery to me. All. love,
love, yer as queer as Boston beans.
There's no fathomin' We. a hag and a
kiss Is better nor a confiagration
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
4 Time for Everything.

A Bucks county man drifted into a
Market street eating house and ordered
fried eggs. The waiter promptly formed
q speaking tube of his hands and bawled
to the dim distance. "Adam an Eve wild
de sunny side up" Rapping with his
fork handle on the table the patron said
emphatically, 81 don't want any of that
Sunday school kiddin': | want a meal"
A n~eighbor's explanation averted a tiff.
-PLiiadeluhia Record.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13

Miss Monroe (of Pittsburg)-The baro
thought of the fair being a failure makes
Inc SILVER.
Miss Beacon Streete (of Boston)-Yes,
the nude in perspective Of n%on-suecess is
certainly chilling.-Pittsburg Bulletin.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
PATENTS
Caveats, Trade Marks and Copyrights

Obtained, and all other business in the U. S.
Patent Office attended to fol- Moderate Fees.
Our office is opposite the u. Patent ONCE,
and we can obtain Patents in less time than
those remote from Washington.
Send Model Of Drawing. We advise as 10
patentability free of charge, and we make no
charge 1nteSS zoe obtain Patent.
We refer here to the Postmaster, the Supt. OF
Money Order Div, and to officials of the u. S.
Patent flee. For circulars, advice, terms
and references to actual clients in your own
State or county, write to
ca. SNOW Il CO.,
Opposite Patent Office. "%-hirpton. Do
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13

Sidney Cooper, the famous British
painter, is now 81 years old. He still
possesses excellent health, and gives FIVE
Or six hours a day to painting. He sleeps
nine hours out of the twenty-four and
lives absteIniouslv.
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13
Do You Cough?

Don't decay. Take Kemp's Balsam, the
best cough cure. 1t viii cure your coughs
and colds. 1t will cure sore throat or a
tickling In the throat. 1t will cure pains in
the chest. 1t will cure influenza and bron-
chitis and all diseases pertaining to the
lungs because it is a pure balsam. Hold it
TO tho light and see how clear ard thick it
~, You will see the excellent effect after
taking the first dose. Large bottles SOC
and u. !
The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1891-02-13

Thyn wrh DO ahead moi thing People have bnkm known to wt nhmmEsa m, run uhe rooyf or
VICKS SEEDS never d ppont SHE NeNt from the million who have pHnd Then. hfoNg
OF Vegetables Seed, Plants Bulbs or anything IN tn line, MAKE N o s. FE this year but send 10
hne contains he ond paM, Grandest Noveiiese eve offered on cas- p3Mmms oH %Se@s mma
emtm uB 5000 cash pnustU c Of the State Fairs. Grand offer chance frn'M en hhrntsme
from eM before; 20 ags " IH inches. JAMES WICK, SCOTSMAN. Rochester, N Y
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-06
Old Sailors Get Sick Too.

"Seafaring men often suffer from sea
Sickness" said a retired navy officer. u
used to get touch Of it every voyage.
Not the long continued and sometimes
deathIy illness of the landsman. but de
cidedly uncomfortable, nevertheless Il
usually lasted day with me-somesimes
only few hours. Ii would repeat itself
as soon as we left next port. The only
time | ever missed it was when we were
chasing Confederate blockade runner,
got so excited that forgot all about It.
Curiously enough, when the excitement
was all over | felt tinge Of it as usual
1T is the bilious temperament. I've
been so Inundated over it that I could
shed tears. No, wouldn't dare 20 OFF the
coast fishing because / know I'd De sick.
There is really no sure remedy for ssasick-
ness, though the best precaution against
a violent attack is to go without eating or
drinking on the day you sail. Most people
invite seasiekness by overlooking the stom
sch just before sailing New York Her
alb