Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-08-07
THE DRUMMER'S STORY.
How He Got Even with His Friends 4
the Parlor Car.


the Parior Car.
A jolly drummer at the Hotel Nor
mandie RECALLED two or three friends
thusly recently while enjoying an after
dinner cigar:
! / had whole exposition coming in
over the Grand Trunk last night. In the
smoker | discovered one of those little
faced men whose features strengthen the
theory of evolution, and whose style Of
wearing his struggling red beard inten-
sified the faith in a cocoanut throwing
! ancestry.
couldn't help discovering him, for he
was bumped up in his seat and snoring
so loud that every other noise was
drowned, and you had to look out the
window to see whether the train was
running or resting on side track. He
snored in and out, kept his nose and
mouth both busy, twitched, groaned,
grunted, wheezed, pulled, bowed, snort
ed and wound up every series of strange
sounds with a prolonged p-i-s-h, that
created an alarming impression that hot
steam was escaping in the car.
There were a lot of high headed, I'M
sociable people in the parlor car who
hadn't taken kindly to my advances, and
was inspired with a plan for revenge.
| shook the little man up, and before he
could open up his walls of wrath, as he
was evidently bent on doing, said:
"Here, my friend, you're not sleeping
J comfortably. Come back here and I'll
fix you up"
IN go you, sir" was the response,
and / took him, bushy hair, rumpled
.. clothes, wrinkled boots, bushwhacking
beard and all, right into the parlor car,
: got him stretched out in two chairs, put
a footstool under his fiery head and told
r him to go it. Three minutes after his
, wonderful snoring machinery was in
active operation. The ladies elevated
their pretty noses and wondered how
that horrid man ever got into their car.
: | was behind paper shaking as if in an
a ague fit, but doing all my laughing in
t ternally
+ "Why, that's too bad, doncher know.
t Tll-ah-rll Just excuse the crethah,
e volunteered the httlest dude of the
a party, and he started airily on his dan
q Qerous mission. He delicately nudged
n the snorer with one finger and said: "Ah,
) say, my deah sir, this is too much.
9 Cahn't you change caws, my deah fel-
lahY' l gave my guest sly but solid
d kick, and he came to with snort that
h made the dude jump three feet back
d ward and look wild. The red headed
u man had caught the last request and le
go.
n How the devil can l change 'caws
when we're travelling mile a minute
r, You're talking the same sense as yoI
lie look. What right have you disturbing
ID sleeping gentleman like that? Get on
Of this, you pipestem imitation, or III
throw you out the Window
;" BY this time the diminutive champion
"A was half the length of the car away AM
rs white as a ghost, but he managed I
e. stammer out;
"But we're all so disturbed, my goo
fellah."
i'd "Well, sir; my little whiffet, don
ne you be trying to make your disturbanc
" epidemic here. l am comfortable an
you people are not in my crowd. II
ret with this gentleman. Now keep away
er There's long run after the conductc
first goes through out of London, an
for over an hour | reveled In my su
v roundings. The little man snored {
though snoring for revenge, the enem
I'd sat glaring in impotent rage, l ostensib
read paper, and when the conducts
in came through it was only to intensit
a the fun.
Ia Dollar, please" he said to the snore
1--WE paid my fare, sir, and first ella
ba at that"
ng But this is parlOr car"
no "Then I'm looking in the parlor, am
Where's the sleeping apartments"
Here, have no time for foolishness
''Then I'll not detain you. Good nigf
sir"
The conductor was about to lun
when l slipped him dollar, he pass
on, the man only waited to say, 81 kne
1 could bluff that ticket puncher," al
then away to the land of Nod, only
awaken when we reached the Bru
street depot. got even, and when o
Of the ladies remarked for my heari
-; that the specimen had picked up W
nee really better looking than |, knew ii
one it was only her head that talked.-I
and troit Free Press,
les. Bad Break.
] Cd