davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
JUST FOR FUN.

Well II that isn't the meanest trick 1
ever heard ofr' WHAT" They have
sent an ossified man as a missionary to
tho Cannibal islands. Indianapolis Jour
nal.
Miss Emilia-"My sister fell and broke
her limb" Old Mr. Jones-"Whichl uolH
Miss Emilia (bushing) -"Well, il l must
tell you, il was her left walker. Harp
er's Bazaar.
Fond Father-sC Children, IL the clock
struck fourteen, what time would it bel"
Logical Louise-''Two O'Clock, papa"
Clever Charley--'Time to get the clock
fixed Life.
Wife-''Ihat woman next door got
new gown yesterday" Husband sup
pose you want one just like IT," Wife
mo. / don't Hers only cost S25. "
Clothier and Publisher.
Butcher-.How would saddle OF mutt
ton suit you, ma'amP Miss Batchem-
Every web, but let it be side saddle. boz
cause it is for my sister and myself. ~
B.nghampton Republican.
II can wait for your answer" he sug-
gested, timidly, IF you wish to think il
over. Thanks" she answered.; that is
a good idea. Call around-say--ten years
from now. "-Harper's Bazaar
Col. Culpcpper (who has struck one Of
his former chattlesl --"What became of
Auntie LouV Waiter-"She's daid"
Col. Culpepper-"Old ages" Waiter
mo, sab. Old bourb'n. Puck.
do you think You could support my
daughterp inquired the cautious father.
"Why, sir" replied the sutton, II think
so; never heard 1t intimated that she
was insupportable. "-Washington Star.
Maud-'Did you ever notice how Mr..
Followit talks through his nosei" Stella
YES; poor mani IL went allow him to
stand very close TO one, SO he uses 1t as q
sort of long-distance telephone. Puck
THAT was very reasonable request
Rev. Mr. Whitetie made last Sunday
"What was iti' "He requested that no
buttons be contributed for the heather
without garments attached TO them-'i--
New ) ork Sun.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
FIny Yards Ia One Dress.

Maud Howe Elliott. Julia Ward
Howe's daughter, wore a remarks BILE
dress the other night in Boston,
which is thus described in the papers
Of that town: "Mrs. Maud Howe
Elliott's dress consists OF fifty yards
OF some clinging fabric and an infinite
number of pins The stuff is thrown
about with free folds and skewered as
1t falls, with statuesque effect. The
method is unlikely to find many dis
ciples, in spite OF the advocacy Of its
fair exponent However unimport-
ant and indeed agreeable the effect
might be with her beautiful form, how
disastrous to those less completely
shapely IL the pins should come out. Z"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
Her First Ride In n Carriage.

A Washington woman gives the fol-
lowing story OF her experience at
Oberammergau: She and her sister
went one lovely June day last summer
to sec the Passion Play" On their
way home they overlook party OF
peasants who were returning from
having viewed the holy spectacle.
The Washington woman had curiosity
enough TO find pleasure in talking with
the common folks. and as she reached
a particularly interesting group she in-
vited an old woman TO get into the
carriage with her. When the old
woman had seated herself sho turned
20 the Washington woman and askedi
Are you n princessP"
mo. am not n princess, " answered
the Washington woman.
But you have u carriage and a pair
OF horsesP"
Eyes. but am not a princess"
al am "a years old and this Is She
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

with their portraits more accurate and
vivid than anything that Rembrandt
ever put on canvass Father Grice,
Dewitt c. Moore, ather Voorhees,, Il
p. Hopkins, William stephens, John
Van Rensselaer,. Gasherie Dewitt, DR..
Ward, and hundreds of others, all of
them gone out of this life, but / hold
the me nory of them and will no
them forever They cannot escape
from me. i Will remember them just
as they looked On earth, and will re.
mem Der many OF you after the earth
has been an extinct p anet for ages
infinite. Oh, what stuff the memory
is for monument building!
AS in Egypt that December after
noon, 1850, exhausted in body, mind
and soul, we mounted to return TO
Cairo. we took our last look of the
Pyramid at Gizeh. And you know
there rs something in the air toward
evening that seems productive OF
solemn and tender emot on, and that
great Pyramid seemed TO be humanized
and with lips of stone it seemed To
speak and cry out: Hear me, man,
mortal and immo tall My voice is the
voice of God. he designed me. Isaiah
said i would be sign and a witness.
j saw Moses when he was a lad i wit
messed the long procession of the Is
raelites as they started to cross
the Fed Sea and Pharaoh s
host in pursuit of them. The
falcons and the eagles of many CEN
turtles have brushed my brow. / stood
here when Cleopalra's barge landed
with her sorceries, and Hypatia for her
virtues was slain in yonder streets
Alexander the Great, Sesostris and
Ptolemy admired my proportions
Herodotus and Pliny sounded my
praise. ! am Old. / am very old. For
thousands of years have watched the
coming and going of generations.
They tarry only little while. but they
make everlasting impression. bear
on nay side the MARK of the trowel and
chisel of those who more than four
thousand years ago expired. Beware
what you do. Oh. man! for what you do
will last long after you are dead If
YOU would be affectionately remem-
bcred after you are gone. trust not to
any ca 'thly commemoration. / have
not one word to say about any astron-
omer who studied the heavens Fl ON my
heights or any king who was sepIl-
chred in my bosom. / am slo = ly
passing away. am a dying pyramid.
! shall yet lie down in the dust of the
plain and the sands of the desert shall
cover me, or when the earth goes |
will go. But you are immortal. The
feet with which you elm bed my sides
to-day will turn TO dust, but you
have soul that Will outlast
me and all my brotherhood of
pyramids Live for eternity
Live for God. With the shao-
ows of the evening now falling from
my side, pronounce upon you a bene-
dietion. axe it with you across the
Mediterranean. Take IL with you
cross the Atlantic. God only is great!
Let all the earth keep silent before him.
Amen" And then the lips of granite
hushed, and the great Giant of Ma
sonry wrapped himself again in the
silence OF ages, and as rode away in
the ga herring twilight, this course of
sermons was pro ected.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23


THERE Is in England an association
of women to promote window garden
ing among the poor. 1t is far
worthier and more substantial way oil
helping them than sending cut flowers
TO their bedsides. The living plant is
a hope-giver. The cut flower is the
most melancholy token of death. The
aristocracy Of London have been gen.
erous in extending gardening outside
their private grounds and tie filth
and smut of the great steaming town
arc sensibly relieved in even the most
detected parts by pretty boxes in win
dows, by shrubbery along the walks.
by beds OF flowers wherever room can
be made and by rows OF pots on roofs
and in little dirty crannies of walls.
England is everywhere a garden; the
fact is of moment because il repre-
sents industry and demonstrates that
even unpromising soil and uncongenial
air can be made TO bloom. Tacitus
said that everything except the olive
and vine could grow In England. Lit,
tle, however. grew until IL became a
general custom 10 make and to cherish
little house gardens as well rs great
palace ones.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
Penolope,s Ingenuity.

Papa" said Penelope. turning sud-
denly from the piano. VITA q pretty
blush playing on her cheeks '.do you
think | am too young to be e-e-en-
gagedP"
'-Of course / do" growled her
father; now who in the world has
put the idea OF marriage into your
headp What's his name2
20, he hasn't asked ne yet but
well, you know"
YES, / know all about IT, and
warn him that he'll know moro about
it if he comes fooling around you any
more. Now, what do you want to
think about such things as that for,
NellieP Haven't you the best home
in the world?"
''Oh. yes. papa; but it woshd be
awiully nice to be engaged. l think"
How niceP"
''Oh, nice to have a young man
coming 10 see you every evening""
"Humph! I'd like to catch him
coming to see you every evening""
',And it would be- nice TO have a
pretty diamond ring"
Haven't you enough ringsp"
"Well. l haven't solitaire"
Pen, "said her father. seriously. If
/ buy you a solitaire ring will you
promise faithfully to give up all
thoughts of this young man?"
''Yes, papa" she answered.
Very well, then; remember your
promise. You shall have the ring
Tomorrow although it's sad piece of
extravaganza groaned the old gen-
tleman, walking painfully out OF the
room.
We'll" said Penelope to herself.
al may not be very smart bat think
that's the easiest way to get a dia-
mond ring I've heard OF yet must
tell the other girls. Tom Hall in
Life.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
A Crackers soIiioquy.

Gen. Longstreet says that on one
OF the long night marches in Virginia
the only way he could get rest was to
lie down on the ground while the
column was passing anG sleep for and
hour or so. He woke up just as the
stragglers were coming along the rear
and heard an old Georgia cracker
soliloquizi ig about the situation: IL
love my country and I'll fight for It,
and I'll die for 1t, and I'll go naked
and barefooted for it. but when this
war is over I'll be cursed II l ever love
another country"
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

THE necessity for the utmost clean
liness in dentistry becomes at once APP
parent Any neglect OF this caution by
the dentist either about his hands or his
instruments may be attended with the
most serious consequences. A drinking
glass that has not been thoroughly
cleansed, pair OF forceps an instru-
ment used in filling teeth, rubber
dam that has once been used and is
used again, as it sometimes is, may
develop in the most disastrous results.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

AMERICAN literature has great fu-
ture, and it must be recognized that If
England has Hardy. Meredith and
Stevenson we are her peers with only
James Howells and Cable. One of
The more famous and stubbornly vulgar
of tho British journals goes so far as
20 complain that '.Mr. Howells praises
svery good book that comes out OF
America" Doubtless the critic would
be pleased to have Mr.. Howells praise
svery bad hook that comes out OF
America
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
A pnoreuNp and inextinguishable

A PROFOUND and inextinguishable
melancholy adiicss the funny man.
Some attribute this to remorse at the
FOSSIL and fraudulent jokes he oocas-
sonally foists on confiding public;
others OF opinion that ne thinks his
true sphere tragedy and revolts at be-
ing a mere literary clown. But
neither superstition is correct The
funny man is man OF definite COM
passion. He sorrows for those who
are compelled to read his productions.
He rises up with a pun and comes down
with a pang. He sledge-hammers
together a witticism, and when it is
laughed at goes of into a coruer and
gives himself up to grief. Philan-
thropy, not righteousness, is the funny
mans strong point
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
PATHS Parrots.

Patti is very fond OF parrots and
when she sees one that strikes her
fancy she does not hesitate to pay the
price asked for it, however exhorbi-
tant 1t may be. Some years ago sho
actually paid $1,000 for parrot, and
this 10 .uacious bird Is still TO be seen
and heard In her winter garden at
Craig-y-Nos. One OF the diva's par.
rots speaks Welsh. another French
and others English.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
scientific survey Tos. Indian Races.

An undertaking OF the highest In
terest and Importance has been quietly
brought to completion in Bengal This
is nothing less than scienti C survey
of the races and people of that pro-
vince. The 5000 heads which have
been submitted to actual measurement
represent eighty-nine,well-de defined sec
tons of population of about $50. 600.
600 stretching from the bay of Bengal
to the frontiers of Afghanisan. No
attempt has heretofore been made to
determine by scientific methods the
origin and racial development Of SO
large a section OF the human race.
The results are embodied in two mas
sive volumes. which have reached
England by mail.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

SKIN grating is going on every
whore in hospitals and private prac.
tice. The next step viii be to find
the lower animal or animals that car
be used for human beings service as
safely as human beings themselves.
Bones OF lower animals have been
successfully introduced in whole or
part into the human system. Man is
being repaired in countless ways I'M
known 10 the profession q hundred
years ago.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

THE transfer Of the idea of govern
ment from muscle to mind has 6een
slow, but is now assured The SUI
premacy o. mind in government is an
established fact and every lover OF
his country must reject an argument
that gets its precedents from a bar
barrie past Our forefathers made
precedents when they established our
government Let US make precedents
which shall be in accordance with the
progressive tendencies OF our institu-
tons.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

1rst time that have ever ridden IA o.
carriage replied the Old woman.
Then she sat silent for few mo-
ments. and, looking up again. asked
inquiringly:
"Did the Lord Christ tell you tn take
me into your carriageg
Yes | think So" reverently an
swered the Washington woman. New
York Commercial Advertiser.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
"Parson,, Brownlow, tho Unioni.t

The famous "Parson" Brownlow,
who was vigorous Unionist during
the civil war. hcsitated at the very
outset as TO which cause he should es-
pouse. 1t is said that he actually
wrote an article for his paper, the
Knoxville Wing. defending secession.
BY chance it was left out for a day;
and in the meantime his chief journal
istic rival took the same attitude.
Therefore Brownlow ''lxilled" his own
editorial and wrote another, taking
the Northern view.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
ceSseS.

THosr who have achieved prosperi-
ty by q long and painful course OF
labor and self-denial are least likely
TO be demoralized by IT. Their char
acter has been made amid tho disci-
pline Of struggle, and though it may
acquire more hardness than is seemly
it is not likely to yield to excessive
self-conplacency or self-indulgence.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23

PHYSICIANS. as a class are an hon.
orahle. high minded. Woodworking
and useful set OF men. The world
can never fully repay all it owes to
them. but Notwithstanding all this the
medical profession is largely one oi
experiments in which the absurd blum.
ders seem TO outrank the wise sue.
ceSses
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-10-23
PnrMmANs urge that Americans ar,

PHYSICIANS urge that Americans are
unduly nervous because they do not
get enough sleep. In nearly every
large city in the union the streets are
as full Of Life up to midnight as they
are daring daylight and the hours
that intervene before they again take
on busy appearance are few in mum.
ber
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-11
LOCALITIES.

There will be 4 meeting Of r. E. Lee
camp Of Confederate Veterans at the court
house tonight al O'Clock
Yesterday afternoon Mr. J. V French
was made the happy father of q Ten pound
girl. Mother and child doing nicely.
An old man named Duncan dropped dead
il the eastern part Of town last night. He
was troubled with some affection OF the
heart.
The Christian Solution of the Labor
Problem viii be the sGbtc Of DIR. Low
ber's discourse ii the Christian church
next Sunday night.
Sheriff Richardson was looking for 4 ne
gro last night wanted to answer u charge of
numbering his wife il Deuison, but the man
could not be found
The choir boys Of St. Andrews enter
tained their friends 1T the recrory last
night. Delightful music VAS furnished by
Prof. Rirshield's orchestra.
Last night the brake On the wheel at the
drill h9us2 on fuckers hill where the city
is boring the big ar-csian well broke and
the drill dropped il the hole and smashed
things up generally.
The colossal flowers on the Yucca plant
on Elm street in front of the Gillespie resi-
derce IS Il sight that is seldom enjoyed eX
cept by the cowboys on the Staked Plains,
the native home of this magnificent flower.
DR.. Pender's congregations at the Broad
way Baptist church are increasing. His
sermons are eloquent and stirring. y
great many are making requests for
prayer, and several have united with the
church. He will rendera sacred solo at the
close of the service tonight.
The Masters degree will be conferred by
Fort Worth Lodge No. las, y. +. and a.
NJ, tonight beginning promptly at 5
O'Clock. All Master Mlsons IN the city are
cordially invited to be present. Visiting
brethren without vouchers will please
come early to avoid delay in examinations.
Rev G. 7. Thompson, who has been
holding evangeli5tic services at Broadway
Presbyterian church, received "a telegram
yesterday. announcing the serious illness of
his mother and left on the first train for
his home in Sherman. There will be no
services in the church to-day. On Sunday,
At II 4. N. the pastor will preach, and at
7;45 p. N. Rev. ]. a. Creighton will occupy
the pulpit \ cordial welcome extended 70
all
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-11
TEXAS IN TYPE.
TEXAS CROPS AND WEATHER.

BAILEY, April 9-This city is located,
''not on hill" bat in the beauty spot Of
Texas There IS not within radius OF
eight miles one poor or lost acre of land.
There are 10 pastures. The country triD-
utary is all in small farms with large white
families. mostly from Tennessee, and all
those corn makers have quit corn and
everything else for king cotton. The early
corn planted rotted in the ground, and
what little did get through the black birds
got it.
Cotton planting IS all the 90 now. We
have mad several days dry and windy. and
farmers are up with their work and plant
Ing.
NEVADA. April S.-Great damagri is being
Done the corn crop by black birds. Swar!ns
e them sve all over the country nipping
me corn. Eraiu and all as it comes up.
Many crops are already replanCed.
Hiyp. Aulil l0.-The fruit crop viii be
tCuu.iu. Wheat fine, though not So much
il cultivation IS last year oats have
suffered from cold weather. Good stands
Of corn. Farmers well W with their work.
c. April 1.-the crops in this sec
tlur never were more promising ii this
season Of he year Corn = growing finely
and wheat and oats doing - wei. Is posi-
L.r. Cotton planting IS progressing
rapidly. and fruit OF Al kinds viii be
E.-l.f h.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-11

TELEGRAPR!C BREVlTiES.

Gen. Roseucrans was much improved
Yesterday.
Senator Morrill, Of Vermont says reciproc-
ity with Canada is uEdesired.
Gen. Spinola passed q bad night Thurs
day, and was somewhat weaker yesterday.
The New York Tribune celebrated the
fftieth anniversary OF its birth yesterday.
Secretary Foster will go to New York
next Tuesday for a visit Of several days,
mainly on private business.
a large number of applications for lands
in the state of Chiapas, Mexico, are being
received from the United States.
Right Hon. George Augustus Cavendish
Rentinick NJ p. for Whitehayen is dead.
He was born in 1872 and was q Conserva-
tive.
A dispatch received by Judge Gresham
announces the death of Gen. William Z.
Strong. well-anown Chicagoan, at Flor
ence, Italy.
A suspension OF the port works at Buenos
Ayres IS imminent Fourteen generals
have signed 3 manifesto against the AIitre-
ROca coalition.
Col. Miguil Lopez, who, it is said, be-
trayed MaZimiilian to Juarez at Queretaro.
was bitten by mad dog yesterday and is
now undergoing Pasteur's treatment.
L
sane woman when she was committed to
the Danville insane asylum and that her
commitment was irregular is officially de-
MED.
At Birmingham, Ala, Rity Allen, colored,
was caught between cars and had his head
mashed almost fat He lived with his
brains oozing out six hours after the acct
dent
The Belgium chamber Of deputies has de-
cided in favor OF household suffrage.
twenty-five years being the minimum age
to vote, and the elector paying ten francs
in direct taxation.
There were landed at the New York
barge office yesterday morning 900 steerage
passengers from Rotterdam. \ number of
immigrants who on examination proved IN
satisfactory were detained for further ex-
animation.
The committee of the Mexican congress
to whom has been referred the proposition
to create the new portfolio to be called
communications, and which will have
charge of telegraphs and posts, will report
favorably on the bill next week, and the
ministry will commence operations July l.
when there will probably be important cab
met changes,
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-11
The Weeks Cotton Morement.

New ORLEANS La, April lO.-The move
ment of the cotton crop IS nearly 10 per
cent in excess Of the seven days ending
April 70 last year. The total for the week
is -, 0,4 bales, against 2G.IIo last season.
For Northern spinners the weeks total is
more than twice that of the corresponding
seven days last season. Exports FOR the
seven days is l22 3222, against 1883 last
week and IT, 406 last year "The combined
movement Of domestic and export has re-
duced the stock 81, 600 bales. against IS. 900
bales last year. Brought into sight during
the week ending tonight =, SGi. against rs
rs for the same week last year, and the
total for the fist ten days of April 100, $50,
against Il, 1873 Tor the same days last year.
These make an aggregate for the season to
date Of 1,g54, o47, against 5, &c., IN excess
of g. 39g
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-11
MRS. JARLEY'S WAx-WORKS.



The parlors Of the First Pres byterian
church were well filed last night to enjoy
an entertainment provided by the Lend .
Hand club, composed OF the younger
members Of the church. The club viii
devote the proceeds to pay for q window IL
the church. The amount realized WIS about
Sl00. Mrs. Jariey's wax works viii
never grow old, and last night
they were as bright and fresh
and wholesome as they have ever been.
Such entertainments AS this are always de-
ightful. Mrs. farley was persCnated by
Lolita Carter. and well did she perform her
duties The wax works were all good The
characters presented were:
TheOphilus-McCau Lanhan.
Little Ne!l-Lorena Blair.
Maid of Honor-Georgia Keller
Dwarf-Ed Price
Casibiauca-John Oldham.
CinderelIa-Mahel TallanL
Martha-Lucille Kirby.
Dancing Girl-Maydeil Drake.
Dame Crump-Pearl Spencer.
Madam Squallina-Grace Wallace.
Fair One with Curly Locks-Carrie
Weems.
Capt Kidd-Albert Rogers.
His Victim-Fannie Lewis.
Chinese John-Charlie Rhine.
Little Bopeep-Maggie Rhine.
Red Riding Hood-Helen North.
Blue Beard-John Talbot
Mrs Ninslow-Mary Malone
Little Jack Horner-Joe Clements.
Dude-Fred Hoffman.
Giggling Girl-Edna Mckenzie.
Child of the Regiment-Agnes Russell
Two Soups-Win Hiles and Mr.. Reyer.