Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1891-05-09
Bill Nye ON Jerry simpson.
ST. Louis Post Dispatch.

| ST. Louis Pest Dispatch.
Estacado de F0nseca of Conejos
county, Colo, writes 10 know: "Who
is jerry Simpson, The newly.elected
statesman now in Washington, and
what are his qualifications as law
makerW
Jeremiah Simpson ia The Congress
man from the Seventh District of Kan
sas. He is a native of New Brunswick,
aud at IA years of age went 10 sea,
where he became victim to The habit
of going utterly without socks. lie
takes great pride in his well-turne'l
mahogany ankles and richly carved
legs. AT full dress parties and recep-
tons the coming season he will offset
the low corsage of the finely formed
Washington bellies by wearing set OF
high-cut panties revealing his we'll
groomcd though still slightly-chapped
ankles.
lie was mate of large bark at the
age of % years, and thirteen years ago
left the sea to locate place in Kansas.
The sockless Cicero of Kansas, as he
is playfully called, was largely In his
latter years fresh water sailor, and
his last vessel was wrecked off Lud-
ington, on Lake Michigan, and all on
board We're saved through the heroism
Of the captain.
Capt. Jerry Simpson is now a farm
or, and it is said was elected because
he showed on the stump his sockless
condition, claiming that he was so
poor and honest that he could not af-
ford socks. His successor will doubt
less be plain man, who will 90 about
canvassing the Seventh District and
wiping his nose on the top rail of the
fair ground fence because he is so plain
and poor that he cannot sffOrd a hand
ercEief.
Until last June Mr.. Simpson was
the City Marshal of Medicine Lodge.
He was up to that time regarded as
short on genius and long OH socks.
Now it is otherwise. Next to The
"Kreutzer Sonata" and the young lady
at the Fourteenth Street Museum who
has heavy sorrel name down her spi'
nal column, the Socklcss holds the age
on public notice.
Col. Marsh Murdoch was the first
to discover that Jerry did not wear
socks. The two went in swimming
together during the campaign aud
then the secret got out. The great un-
socked owns $40 acres of land, which
is this year all into wheat, or nearly SO
at least.
He also owns several head of bright
Young heiiers several OF whom will
enIer the milch arena this spring. Mr..
Simpson is the author of small blue
book on "The Care of the Cow, and
Udder Information Generally" 1t is
dedicated to Thomas Brewer Peacock,
the poet of Topeka.
am indebted for most Of the above
facts to Mr.. Simpsons Medicine Lodge
biographer aud chiropodist, who wish
es NE to say that he treats all troubles
of The feet, such as c0rms. buniOns and
in-growing nails, chilblains, quarter
crack. etc, etc, by mail as well as per-
sonally. lie has bust OF Mr.. Simp'
sons foot at his place, and cheeriully
answers all questions regarding the
great man. >.
Mr.. Simpson is the humorous feature
of the new and powerful movement
which seems to create general mirth,
but there is power and principle
behind il all to which il will be profit
able to pay attention. 1t NAV not win
this time or next time, but when il
does win the professional politician
will do well to get Into his cyclone cell
lar and spread his umbrella.