Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-07-23
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
TESTS AND YARNS By FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.

Attendant--Yes. ma'am.
How many rattles has hel"
I" Fifteen and button"
"May make him rattle2"
"Certainly, mann"
"What must dol"
{" You touch the button and he will
do the rest. 81 Arkansas Traveller.
SERVED HIN RIGHT
He talked the old man dumb and blind,
Then muchly to his grief
The old man said-'twas most unkind--
"Go on, I'm not yet dcef."
Above MATCH.
She-So she married for ave, did
shel
He-Ycs--love of money.
BRIGHT BOY.
Closcfst-I told that good nothing |
boy to-day that he would have to paddle
his own canoe.
Mrs. Closetist-What did ne say to
thatl
Closefist--He struck me Tor money to
buy the canoe.
GETTING RID OF BORE.
'4Just lend me your eur for a moment,
Mr.. Hicks"
81 won't do it. II you want to hear
yourself talk, you'll have to use your
own ears. They are big enough to hear
all you have to say"
CAUSE OF THE DIFFERENCE.
Collector -What2 How's this! Old
Parkrich's property assessed at $40, 900
| Last year the same was only 500.
Assessor-You see, before l assessed
1t had been trying to buy it."
A HABIT DROWN HAS.
Jasper-I think Brown is in the habit of
blowing his own horn great deal.
Jumpuppe-Pcrhaps so. but it seems
to me that he is more In the habit OF
drinking it.
EYES. MALE AND FEMALE.
Miss Nochick-So you have been mar
lied year. Has your husband found
| cut about your dyed hair, false teeth, or
glass eye, YETI
| Mrs. Wedlatc-No, indeed he's been
too busy concealing the same defects In
himself New York Weekly.
BENEFITS OF BANKING.
George say, Jack, change me five,
won't youl
jack haven't more than enough for
lunch and car-fare in my pocket. Fact is,
don't carry money loose In my pockets
any more. put it in the bank and pay
. oI don't care to bother with checks.
7 always carry money in my pockets, and
; | neys.-."fss cent :,
s'Y-e-s, but you are not married. "
Il New York Weekly.
CHEAP DocToRING.
Anxious Mamma-Little Dick is up.
stairs, crying with the toothache.
Practical Papa-Take him around ia
the dentists.
al haven't any money"
"You won't need any money. The
toothache will stop before you get there.
-IGood News.
HIS LAST CHOKE.
II hope you. will cut me down as sooI
as convenient after the job is done,
said the culprit to the hangman.
why, what difference can it make L
, you after you are deadw
, ''Ah! my friend, you must remembe
! that suspense is worse than DEATH"
: BASEBALL NOTE.
"There is more growing done by tina
nine than by any other"
: What nine is thatl"
1.-The canine"
STRANGE CASE.
Young Doctor was just goin
around to SEQ your brother. How is b
this morning.
----T 0uug Shown ---sv.ssssr.--.s-,--.o.-~-
That is certainly very strange! The pre-
scription gave him contained over fort
things, -GNew York Weekly.
CRUSHED AGAIN.
Editor-Who. wrote. this article2
Reporter indited it,. sir, yestc
day.
EditorLOh, did you Well, it's ba
enough to have been indicted six month
ago Good morning. = [Washingto
Star.
HE DowNED 1T.
al mastered French in six lessons
said the liar.
u 'Yes, ! suppose So" said the cyni,
"a II noticed you never allowed Il
language TO have its own way when yc
- tried to talk lt."-ISt. Joseph News.
Of SAME OLD STRUGGLE.
IN "Now, john" said the pcssimist
y, wife, who had persuaded him to 90
Of the circus, ~ do hope you will try
throw aside all care and enjoy yourself
Il have, Maria he replied, as
razed ut the contortionist, "but there
IN Is again, the same old struggle to NAL
L both ends meet. - Washington Post.
Ia THE REASON MADE CLEAR.
1e There's good deal of bounce abo
a Bounderby, isn't there!"
l. Yes, but it's easily explained
ia was bouncing baby l understan
IN when he was born. VI Philadelph
n Times.
b. THE EFFECT OF CULTURE.
'e' Boston Girl-Oh. mother!
40 something awful at the party tonight
~ Mother Why, my dear child, VIII
- was it,
vi Boston Girl.-That horrid bouquet N
&c Beacon sent me had some ciEnam
ne pinks in it. They made me sneeze nj
au but l can't say it.
,s' Mother.-Go on
DE Boston Girl-AIy glasses fell off a
en- Mr.. Beacon saw my bare face II Bostc
GU ian.