Connecticut western news., 1891-02-25

was woke up arly by the Elder. He sed
 refreshments was reddy for me down
 stairs. Then sayin 1 was & man of sin.
 he went groanin away.
 AS was goin threw the entry to the
 room where the witles was, cum across
 the Elder and the old female I'd met the
 night before, and what dye spose they
 was up to? Huggin and kissin like
 young lovers in their gushingist state.
 Sez l, My Shaker trends, I reckon you'd
 better suspend the rules and git mar
 ried."
 1 "You must excoos Brother Uriah, sed
 the female; Ines subjeck to fits and ] hain't got no command over hissef when
 he's into 'em.'
 ''Sartinly," sez 1, Eve bin took that
 way myself frequent" "Yca're man of sinr' said the Elder. Arter breakfust my little Shaker trends cum in agin to clear away the dishes.
 My pretty dears," sez I, shall we
 gag agin?''
 May" they sed, and 4aau'd,
 The Shakers axed me to go to their
 meetin, as they was to hay sarvices that
 mornin, so put on clean billed rag and
 went. The meetin house was as neat as a pin. The floor was white as chalk and smooth as glass. The Shakers was all on hand, ln clean weskits and meal bags. ranged on the floor like milingtery com panles, the mails on one slde of the room and the females on tother. They con- menst clappin their hands and singin and dancin. They danced kinder slow at lust, but as they got warmed up they shaved 1t down very brisk. | tell you. Elder Uriah, in particler, exhih rted a
 right smart chance of spryness in his legs. considerin his time of life, and as he cum dubble shufle near where l sot, l rewarded him with a approvin smile and sed: ''Hunky boyl Go it. my gay and festiv cuss!''
 merlin his shuf1e
 The Sperret, as they called it, then moved short fat Shaker to say a few remarks. He sed they was Shakers and all was ekal. They was the purest and Seleckest peple on the yearth. Other peple was sinful as they could be, but Shakers was all right Shakers was all goin kerslap to the Promist Land, and nobody want going to stand at the gate to bar 'em out. if they did they'd git run over.
 The Shakers then danced and sung agin, and arter they was threw, one of 'em axed me what thwat of it.
 Sez l, What dug it siggerfyr',
 "What?' sez he.
 Why this ju1npin up and singin? 1rs% matrimony idee? My trends, you air neat and tidy. Your lands is flowing with milk and honey. Your brooms is line, and your apple sass is honest. When 8 man buys keg of apple sass of you he don't find grate many shavins under 8 few layers of sass-a little Game I'm sorry to say sum of my New Englan an cesters used to practiss. Your garding seed is fine, and if 1 should SOW 'em on the rock of Gibralter probly l should raise good mess of garding sass. You air honest in your dealins! You air quiet and don't distarb nobody. For all this givs you credit. But your religion is small pertaters, l must say You nope away your lives here in single retchldness, and as you air all by your selves nothin ever conf1icks with your pecooler idees, except when Human Mater busts out among you, as under | stan she sumtimes do. II giv Uriah sly wink here, which made the old fel- low squirm like a speared Eel.
 "You wear long weskits and long 1 faces, and lead a gloomy life indeed. No l ;hildren's prattle is ever hearn around ! your harthstuns-you air in dreary fog l au the time, and you treat the jolly sun- 1 shine of life as tho it was thief, drivin 1 It from your doors by them wesHts, and 1 neal bags, and pecooler noshuns of 7ourn. The gals among you, sum of which air as slick pieces of caliker as l ,ver sot eyes on, air syin to place their leds agln weskits which Hver honest. manly harts, while you old heds fool yer elves with the idee that they air full illin their 1nishun here, and air content 'd. Here you air all pend up by yer elves, talkin about the sins of world | 7ou don't know nothin of.
 Meanwhile said world continners to l esolve round on her own axeltree onct 1 Il every "A hours, subjeck to the Consti- ! utlon Of the United States, and is a 'ery pleasant place of residence It's d unreasonable and dismal life 'our'e leadin here. So it strikes me. Ny Shaker trends, now bid you vel ome adoo. You have treated me ex- eedin we'll. Thank you kindly, one nd all"
 "A base exhibit of depraved monkeys nd onprincipled wax works!' saed Jriah.
 Hello, Uriah," sez I, ''Td most forgot 1 ou. Wall, look out for them fits of ourn, and don't catch cold and die in And I resoomed my iernev e ~