The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1891-09-22
He is Terribly in Earnest---Has Some
Curiosity to See DR.. Caldwell,
of Santer Fame.

Hello! Nh. Devil"
D.-"Hello! Mr., Bilkins. How's
your people,"
B.-"They are all kickin', thank
you. Tell the editor to come to the
telephone quick"
R.-''AH right, Uncle Zeke; what
is the trouble?'
B.-"Nothin', only 1 want to know
what the politicians are DOM"
R.-"They are raising cane, They
are the agriculturists now"
B.-"How is that? l thought we
farmers was raisin' all the crops"
R.-"No; not all. The politicians
and a few political editors are raising
cane. We Alliance people are getting
ready for a crop Of politics. We have
raised too much agricultural products
already and the bosses say we are sui
fering from a bad case of pro
duction.' Down South they say we
raise too much cotton; that we must
not work so hard. In the West and
North they say weraise too much grain.
They have quit saying that we work
too much; they nOw say we must
diversity our crops. So we are going
to try a little politics in place Of SC
much grain and cotton"
B.-"That is what l told Betsy. I
told her we might work our eyes out
and still make nothin' clear if we didn't
raise some politics. I am a thinkin'
that we have enough of polite, but
the seed amt good any more. They
don't do we'll like they used to. I want
some big drum head politics that will
grow like they used to before the war
R-"Your head is level. Don't
grow any but good politics."
B" What about that report on
Col. Polk? Did he mistreat Federal
prisoners?
R.-"He didn't have anything to do
with Federal prisoners. 1t is the politi-
cal soldiers that are fighting the reform
movement that he has been 50 cruel to-.
He has treated them very badly"
B.-"I want to have a long talk with
DR.. Caldwell, Of the Landmark. Do
you reckin he will talk to me?"
R.-"Yes, he will talk with you, but
not right now. Just now he is engaged
in aiding the Secretary of the Treasury
to prove that the reform papers don't
tell the truth about the per capita in
circulation. He argues that the per
capita is 1923 instead of IS.
B.-"Well, didn't some of you fellers
spend several months in Washington
investigator the thing"
R.-"Yes, Mr.. Dunning, who is as
smart q man as DR.. Caldwell or the
Secretary of the Treasury, has been at
it several months"
B.-"Why does DR.. Caldwell do
that?"
R.-"For what is known as 'politi
cal effect"
B.-"Has DR.. Caldwell caught the
Santer YETI
Rho. He will never catch it if
he waits until he convinces Iredell
county farmers that the Secretary of
the Treasury hasn't. lied"
B.-"What kind of a Teller is DR..
Caldwell, anyhow?'
R.-"Well, he is n of the best fell
lows in the world, but he runs off the
track now and then. He don't believe
in the theory about the rails spreading,
however, but he just jumps the track
anyhow and shakes the passengers up,
but they have gotten used to it,
B.-"Didn't he say that he was a
convert to the free coinage of silver
measure last year,"
R.-"Yes, he professed and for a
while seemed truly penitent, but Mr..
Cleveland wrote a letter against it and
then DR.. Caldwell fell from grace, said
it was folly for the Alliance dema-
gogues to talk about getting it through
for he and Mr.. Cleveland had decided
dead agin' it."
B.-"Blamed if I hadn't always
heard that DR.. Caldwell didn't wear a
collar, in fact 1 read it in his paper"
Well you see he is getting rich
and when a fellow begins to get rich
he puts on more style. He puts on a
fresh collar every day now"
B.-"Golly! 1t looks to me like he
must wear nifty stiff collars, the way
he did when Mr.. Cleveland wrote his
letter agin free coinage. Guess the
Santer e one, too. Good bye"
Zeke Bilkins says all those who owe
for the paper ought to pay up.