St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-11
CURIOUS EPITAPHS.
Picked Up in All Sorts of Places
by an Enthusiastic Collector.

Picked Up in All Sorts of Places
by an Enthusiastic Collector.
DR.. Charles Martin, of No. 256 West
Fifty-seventh street, who has served
forty-two years in the United States
navy, and has visited nearly every port
in the world, has a rare collection Of
scrap-books made up, for great part,
during his travels. For twenty years he
has been collecting epigrammatic cpl
taphs. Some have never been pub
lished and others are taken from Amer
lean and European newspapers. Many
of them are intended to be serious.
This one is found in an Irish grave
yard:
Erected to the memory of John Phillips,
accidentally shot mark of affection by his
brother.
In the LIangollen church yard, North
Wales, the tomb of Morris and Catharine
Jones is inscribed:
Our life is but winters day,
Some breakfast and away.
Others to dinner stay and are well fed,
The Oldest man SupS and goes to bed:
Large is his debt who fingers ont the day,
Who goes the soonest has the least to paw.
Ann Jennings was sturdy English
woman, and this IS what the Jennings
folks OF later generations read:
Some have children some have none;
Here lies the mother of tWenty-one.
But for an Irish pun this is really
grave offense:
Here lies the remains of John Hall, grocer.
The world is not worth fig, and have good
raisons for saying So
Poet Laureate SHELTON had this writ
ten at Queen Elizabeth's death; it is
seen at st. Mary-le-Bone:
Fame, blow along, and to the world pro-
claim
There never ruled such royal dame:
The Void of God was never her delight
In it she meditated day and night.
Spain rod, Romes ruin, Netherlands re-
lief,
Earths Joy, Engla4d's gem, worlds wonder
She was and is, what can there more be said?
On earth the chef, in Heav'n the second
maid.
Benjamin Franklin's body was buried
beside his wife's in Christ's churchyard,
Philadelphia. He wrote this epitaph
for himself when he was tWenty-three
years old:
The Body of Benjamin Franklin, printer
Q4ike the cover of an old book its contents
torn out and stripped of its lettering and
gliding, Lies here, food for worms.
Yet the work itself shall not be lost For it
will as he believed. appear on ee more, In a
and amended by the author
S This tells the story of brewer:
Poor John Scott lies buried here:
Tho once he had both hale and stout,
Death stretched him on his bitter bier;
In another world he hops about.
The Duke of Norfolk in Richard
Sheridan's time was great whist play
er. and upon his death Sheridan wrote:
Here lies England's premier baron
Patiently awaiting the last trump.
A Dunkirk family ordered the in
scription, LET her rest in peace" upon
the tomb of one recently departed. But
the lettering artist found that he did
hot have room for the entire sentence,
so he abbreviated in this manner: Let
her r. i. D."
This is the kind of funeral literature
they used to use in California:
Here lies the body of James Humbrick, who
was accidentally shot on the banks of the
Pacus river by young man. He was acct
dentally shot with one of the large Cots re-
vovers with no stopper for the cock to rest
on 1t was one of the old-fashioned kind
brass mounted. And of such is the kingdom
of heaven.
Thomas Smith was a sculptor and a
keen business man. He cut this in his
wife's tomb:
Here lies Jane Smith, wife of Thomas
Smith, marblecutter. This monument was
erected by her husband as tribute to her
memory and a specimen of his work. Monu-
ments of the same style, $50.
Henry Wang was born near Philadel-
phIa, Dec. 81, 1929, and, becoming dis
cOuraged with his surroundings, he lived
only half an hour. John Wang, his
father, wrote:
short-lived Joy
Was our little boy:
He has gone on high
So don't cry.
An inscription in Florence, Italy, is
translated by the sculptor Greenough:
Here lies cardinal who wrought
Both good and evil in his time;
The good he did was good for naught
Not so the evil-that was prime.
Rev. Michael McCullock, D. D., of
Boutwell, Q767-lS01). wanted his friend,
Rev. Thomas Brisbane, of Dunlop. to
write his epitaph. This is what he got:
Here lies inferred beneath this sod
That sycophantish man of God,
Who taught an easy way to heaven,
Which to the rich was al Wavs given:
If he get in he'll look and stare
TO find some one he put up there.
This statement is verified:
She was married twenty four years. and in
ali that time never once banged the door,
This Is death notice published in
city paper four years ago:
BYRNE-On Friday Oct 30, by being run
over by r. Finks d Sons lager beer wagon,
Thomas. son of Andrew and the late Ellen
Byrne, aged ten years. nine months. Fare
well, dear Tommy.
Funeral from his fathers residence Ali
West Thirty-uinth street, this Sunday at 30
o'clock.
The following mark of esteem is as
terse as it is ambiguous. 1t is found in
Grafton, vt.