Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-08-18
THE CYCLONE tanner.
1t Would Coax the Storm Away, But
Could Never Get Rid of 1t.


.sNever heard tell of Cyclone Sam, I
don't SUPPOSED"
Never" l responded; "does he live
around here?"
Ulster; bat he's moved now"
"Where did he move to?"
KNOWN Sam so well, hate to say.
But I'll tell you bout it. You've seen
dern fools occasionally along your way
through this vale of tears, haven't
you?"
II have"
"Well, in addition to his other scinin
qualities, Sam was one 'em. He came
down to the Cowboys Retreat one after
noon with an internal machine strapped
to his back.
" What you got there?' asked Bilious
Pete.
" This here's my cyclone tanner,
boys. It's the biggest invention OF this
or any other age, if l do say it.
" What's it for?"
q" It's for cOrralin' cyclOnes-rounds
'em up an keeps 'em from destroying
property. For instance, l see cyclone
comm for Paradise, out there, on the
prairie. l put this on my back, git on
a horse an go out to meet it. Then,
without any trouble at all, jest lead it
around the town so it can't do no
damage
"'Will il wOrk?'
" Work! Why, no later'n yesterday
I conducted a middlin' smart blow right
around my Shack-yes, sir; an all
want is a chance to prove that this
cyclone tanner will work. I'm jes' goin'
to lay around this town till see a
cyclone comm for it-then watch me.
''For the next two months all Para
disc was loOkin' for cyclones-well nigh
prayin' for 'em, so great was the inter-
est every one took in Sam an his cy-
clone tanner; but 1 hope to dance in
Tophet if the weather boss didn't shut
up all the wind in Maniteby an let 1t
trickle down on us in the Sickliest kind
of a sephyr for fourteen days.
Cyclone Sam went around town with
face a yard long an allowed that ev-
erything was done on him. However,
on the fifteenth day the sky got cloudy
an forbodin' like, and Sam said the
signs were hopeful. Then he went an
got the tanner chained to his back,
mounted his cayuse an waited.
"Along about two o'clock that after
noon healthy cyclone materalized in
the northwest an bore down on Para
disc.
"'Now watch me, fellers, yelled Sam;
here l Co. an with that he galloped
out to meet it.
Everybody turned out to watch
Sam. Paradise had been wiped from
the face of the prairie no less than five
times by cyclones, an it wasn't no great
trick to rebuild 1t, so we didn't care
much about the town, but he was wrap
ped up ia that cyclone tanner.
''Well, sir, Sam came up with that
funnel-shaped cloud jist as it began TO
play ball with Hi Jinkins' big barn an
half dozen of his hay stacks. You'd
been astonished to see how that
cyclone acted! 1t jist dropped every
thin there an then, an took after Sam.
sam started away an l must say
the tanner was big success, for the cy-
clone made it business TO keep up
with Sam an Sam made it his business
to keep ahead of the cyclone.
Jest then it appeared to rs that
Sam had bit off more'n he could chew.
You see, Sam could coax cyclone
away with him, but what was he goin'
TO do with it? That was point he
hadn't thought of, an we was all sorry
for Sam as he dashed his horse into a
dead run to keep out Of the way OF the
funnel-shaped cloud. But he couldn't,
and the last we saw of the cyclone
Sam he was ridin' his cayuse upside
down and a sailin' over the coteaux to
the west'ard.
"The cyclone tanner worked an be-
tween me an you 1 think cyclone is
as good fool killer as anythin' else.
What do you think"