Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1891-01-07
MIR. AND MRS. BowsER.
By MRS. BowsER.

BY MRS. BowsER.
| Some groceries which / ordered tn.
other afternoon failed to come up in time
and at supper we had bread in place Of bis
cults.
ssCook run away?' queried MIR. Boweer
as he noticed the change.
"The baking powder didn't come up, y
replied.
s'Did you order III"
"Yes, at O'Clock" =
ga woman can perhaps buy gimcrsek!
to better advantage than man, but wher
! it comes down to solids she can't be trust
ed"
Every we'll; you buy the groceries for ths
next week. The cook will tell you what j!
wanted"
s'I'll do it, and I'll show you that VIZ
will live great deal better, and yet save
| 81 or SIS a week. They can't play anj
roots on me, Mrs. Bowser."
Next morning before going away ht
went out to the cook and said:
.I'll send up the meat for dinner. That's
all, Isupposep"
1--WE want few things besides, sir. Put
down salt, soap, pepper, tea, cinnam on,
starch, sago, potatoes, vinegar"-
"Whatl Haven't we got blessed thing
in the house?"
"Lots o. things, sir, but there's some
thing wanting every day. You can add 8
wash board, a lamp chimney, some sspolio,
box of matches and"@
That will dol'' interrupted Mr.. Bowser.
II can SEQ that there has been the grossest
mismanagement in this house. It's won.
der that we are not on the way to the poor
house."
Some meat came up and was prepared
for dinner. When Mr.. Bower came home
he inquired:
"what have you been paying for roast
beei7''
"About thirteen cents"
"Ha! suspected it from the way the
butcher acted. He has been swindling you
at the rate of six cents per pound"
"Nop'
"Fact. sent up a piece at six cents
which beats any, you have had for
month";"
When we got seated at the table he lcok-
ed about and remarked that the cook had
forgotten to put on the potatoes.
"You didn't send up any," replied.
"Whatl'
ssNothing came but the meat"
"By the great two bumped camel,
butt
He suddenly felt in his vest pocket, and
there was the list of groceries! With that
he took up the carving knife and fork and
began to carve the meat 1t didn't carve.
He bore down and sawed away, and finally
laid the knife down aud said:
'.Mrs. Bowser, is this piece of rhinocer-
os or beef?'
.'It's neck piece of beef, Mr.. Bowser.
When l buy 'em for mince pies boil the
meat about two days. Yo1 sent it for
roast. and the cook has roasted it,"
He turned very white and kicked the cat
from under the table, and our dinner was
q slim and unpleasant one. After getting
the cook, and as he appeared in the kitchen
door she said:
There's no butter for supper, and I
want you to send up some tomatoes for
soup, two iron spoons. package Of stove
polish, some silver soap, sllspite, oyster
crackers and bluing. Here's list"
s'Do you pretend to say we want all
those things?'' he demanded.
In the afternoon the things came up-all
but the tea and butter. At supper time the
cook made coffee. Mr.. Bowser noticed it
as we sat down, and snufing the aroma he
remarked:
, 'Doesn't your girl know the difference
between breakfast and suppera Aud where
on earth is the butter?"
stYou didn't send'up either tea Or but
ter"
"Whatl Mrs. Bowser, do you imagine
I've gone crazy?"
"Well, they didn't come up."
''They didn't, eh? Let me get to that
telephone, and I'll give that grocery store
something to think of for the next hundred
years!"
don't know .hat the grocer said to
him, but Mr.. Bowser darced up and down,
and sent him to Jericho, Jersey City and
lots of other places, and wound up by say
ing that he'd go to the Cape of Good Hope
before he'd ever bug another thing there.
That night I found the list of articles in
his pocket. He had checked off as he Or
dered and had left the tea and butter out
Next morning before he went down town
he said to the cook:
''I'll send up chicken to be baked and
stuffed"
At II O'Clock, no chicken having appear
ed, she fried some bacon for dinner. Mr..
Bowser didn't know it until he sat down.
Then he took one look at the bacon, and
arose and walked ont into the kitchen and
asked:
is this my house or 20 urss"
"What of it?" answered the cook.
"Didn't 1 say I'd send up chicken?"
ssYou did,"
"And it was 60 be stuffsd?"
SIT didn't come"
"It didn't. Lat me get to that tele
phone! Mol I'll 60 down and wipe the
face of the earth with that butchers car
cass!''
tried to hold him, but he broke away
and went off. He came back in ebout an
hour, with his coat torn up the back, his
nose skinned, bump on his forehead and
6ne eye shut up. 1 didn't question him,
but learned from others thst the butcher
got the better of him. He hadn't ordered
any chicken. He meant to, but he never
even got off the car. That evening, after
had bound the third piece of raw beef on
bis eye and had glycerined his nose for the
fifth time, te suddenly observed:
81 am satisfied that l could run this
house just forty times better than any VIC.
ioan on earth and save shillings where you
save dollars, but I've got too much on my
miud as it is, and you can go ahead with
your extravagant and disastrous career."-