The Dickinson press., 1891-01-31
SOCIETY'S BLESSINGS.
coNvERsATloNAL,sT AND THE cLev-
Err DINNER GIvER.

coNvERsATloNALlsT AND THE cLEv-
. Err DINNER GlvER.
cessitics of Perfect Social Success
Three Indispensable Requirements
Three Opinions.
: Three young men stood upon the
street corner tho other day. Ono was
an. "old chappie." the other was an ''old
man." and tho third was a "deah boy"
They were discussing tho question of
what w"rs the greatest blessings on
eartl, Odd chappie" thought a woman
who co.Scrscd well was the noblest
work or tho Almighty: but then he is a
great tal.scr himself, and was speaking
entirely from IL personal point of view.
Tho cd man." being u great eater,
declared Il man that gave good dinners
was The best man in the world, and the
''dcah boy" who is rich and lazy,
thought a good family servant was the
most desirable thing on earth. They
wcro rnt far out tho way, after MI.
Nov. tho cMa who listens well is
tho enc that converses well, for CONVEX
satioa is not m%onologuc. The person
that simply listens, although she APP
pears to listen well, will eventually be
found out. Slo il not so modest, if she
is bright, that she is content to hear
simply what you have to say without
having her own say. You are boring
her, and you'll find it out, and then your
conversation will not have been pleasant
to you. She is a flattercr, this listener,
and notlingelsc. She starts you on your
hobby. She is wrapt i'll attention lis you
rido the poor brute to death.
You pause for IN instant and she says
q word showing the deepest interest in
subject that is i'll reality entirely unin-
teresting to her, and off you so again,
But when you finally dismount your
Rosinantc and take your leave you arc
painfully conscious that you did all the
talking; that your ideas were being ex-
hibited the whole evening, and if you
know that she has ideas of her own you
cannot help the reflection that she might
herself have wished to give them a littlo
airing, and you may come to tho conclu-
sion that tho lady has been practicing a
mild amount of hypocrisy.
"Old chappie" was right when he said
a woman that conversed well wasa so
cial blessing, and there are many moro
blessings of this kind among women
than there arc among men. Women,
generally speaking, have more leisure
%1,o,, ,,,o~ loy,o, %l,N, ,,uI 1sr1f
literature; they see more company, and
they give more attention to the elegan-
cies of life. Unfortunately the men who
do nothing in our country, who should
be the ones to cultivate the ornamental
side of life, are not usually capable of
cultivating anything but their own per-
sonal adornment.
But if it is impossible to get q good
conversationalist out of Il fool that does
nothing it is equally impossible to cx-
pect a man to cultivate this luxury of
social life when almost all of his time is
devoted to his business or his profession.
The shop should not be lugged into the
parlors or the dining room, but how Can
it be expected that it should be excluded
from those sacred precincts when men
spend so much of their time in the shop?
There should be more leisure, and then
there would be more men who are able
to maintain agreeable conversations.
Where the conversationalist shines
with most luster is at dinner, and this
brings us around to the remark at the
beginning of this article of the cold
man," who thought that the giver of
good dinners was the greatest social
blessing of all. Perhaps he is, and he is
not only u blessing, but he is usually a
ma of intelligence as we'll. Cookery
is an art" says Brillat Savarin, "but to
roast requires genius" That is q re-
mark that applys to cooks and not to
the employers of cooks.
The latter require talent, not only in
the planning of the menu but also inthe
selection of the people who are to dis
cuss it. A man is generally dependent
upon the servants in the matter of the
food and its cooking, and the good mas
culine dinner giver is thus nearly al
ways a man of means; but the female
dinner giver, who is tho greatest bless
ing of all, need not DO rich. Bad house
keepers, careless wives who do not love
good eating themselves and are indiffer-
ent to the feelings of others, always have
poor cooks.
But the woman who takes the trouble
to teach the cook and to superintend
her when she is engaged in her diff
fcult art-nay, the elegant, we'll bred
lady who does not disdain herself to
sometimes make a good dish, and who is
not ashamed to tell her guests that Their
praises of it are due to her rather thar
to her cook-this is the woman whom to
to dine with is a pleasure.
The subject of servants is perhaps the
most important household problem O
the present day. Tho truth of the mat
ter is that American life doesn't develop
good servants. The American would
rather do anything else than be a serv
ant, because the servant is so general,
degraded into a mere mental. To black
en- another mans boots, to help anothe
man to dress, to run on another man
errands, to be obliged to submit withou
q word to the humors and petty temper
Of another man-all this is somethin
that clashes with the independent fee.
ings of the Americans. Because of thi
Wallets and buffers arc never American.
but are usually foreigners, who swallo,
their pride, pocketing Prerequisites" i
the mean time.
Tho colored man likewise, that use
in tho old times to be the ideal hous
servant, is getting too independent
follow his old calling with humilit,
There is not a bright outlook in til
question of men servants. There Wi
be no change for the better, as indeed
it is unreasonable to expect that the
should be. If any change is desirable
is change on the part of the employer
If they would treat their servants less
menials and moro as employees who a
equals, and are only subject to reaso
able orders which they must execute
spectfully, then there might be q larg
supply of men who are willing to becor
house servants.-Washington Star.