The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1891-10-22
JONAS AND |.
The Story Told by a Good Grudg-
or and Halter.

FOLKS Is mace ulnerent Some pos
seSs certain of the cardinal virtues,
other people possess others. nd you
seldom find all OF them in one human
being. Some talk OF a good memory,
Others rather pride themselves on hav-
In none. have got good faculty for
rememberin' some things. II l know
the contributlon-box Is goin' to be
passed. / never can forgit my purse.
I've tried it off nd on mum Der of times
md rather envied the folks who could
forgit SO conveniently. I've even gone
SO far as 10 hide my port-money in the
pocket of an old dress, that hangs in
the closet upstairs, off the north room,
where nobody ever sleeps, nd nobody
ever goes, 'cept in house-cleanin', so
that Id forgit just over contribution
day. Forgit. why, couldn't any more
forgit than nothin'.
Howsomever, though foryitter
amt one of my common possessions,
md in no way can be counted in
amongst my other cardinal virtues,
have got as good . grudger nd hater as
anybody in all the country round. nd
this partly consoles me for not havin'
good forgitter II I forgot real quick
md easy-like. why then I'D forgit the
mean things folks do nd say. Likely
as not I'd git over this grudge I've held
on to now for some five nd thirty
years. l wouldn't git over that for
Eothin'. It's such comfort to hate
somebody! 1t affords lots of amuse-
ment. too. if anything happens to the
one you've got grudge against Be-
sides all that, it sort o. sends the hours
skippin' along light nd airy-like when
you can sit down nd knit nd think of
all the mean things you'd like to have
befall the one you hate. knittin' is nice
work for such meditations. for it isn't
very absorbin' 'cept in the heel md toe
md instep, unless you happen to drop a
stitch, or get to thinkin' so hard that by
mistake you knit over a seam; then
you have to tend to your knittin' for q
little nd no mistake, but on the whole
think it's good work, when you want
to sit down md hev good time a
grudgin' nd hatin'. Now I'm a leetle
peculiar: don't spend my time envyin'
my Majors. nd grudgin' 'em their good
things. ! don't spoil my nature by d.
vidin' 1t permiscuous-like among a good
many. just bile it down like do nv
jelly, SO il won't take up much room.
nd yet have it tart nd solid in its own
place.
don't hold no grudge against no.
body, but just Jonas Periwinkie. Him
] do grudge md hate with all the force
I've got lie treated me mighty mean
when was slip of girl bout eight
cen or twenty. You see, twas like
this. nd / hain't never got over it.
neither, nd don't intend to. Him nd
me, we kept company for two or three
years, off md on. Though / was a
Eighty piece of property nd liked to
change off occasionally, did set great
store by him, nd he knew it, too.
wasn't quite SO steady nd stout like as
some of the girls, though l could get
round pretty spry nd 'complish just as
much rs they did nd it didn't take me
al day to do it.
One Monday ] was washin' nd Steve
Pratt came along with bran new top
buggy nd span. He drove up, nd
says to me: I'm drivin' out to show
my new belonging Esther, can't you
come alongo'
always was fond of going. nd that
top-buggy did glitter, nd shine in the
sun, nd the cushions did look SO
temptin', SO I says: I'd like to go
frst-rate. Steve. but hain't got quite
through my washins.''
''I'll just come IN nd wait" he saws.
SO he did md he helped. too. lie
stirred the starch, nd helped hang the
clothes up, nd while we wasohangin'
'em up, who should go along but Jonas
Periwinkle. Steve bowed awful polite
but Jonas walked straight past. as il
didn't see us, but he did, nd found it
out afterwards
went for the ride, md it was a nice
one, too. The apple trees was all
A-bloomin', nd the air was as sweet as
. June morning conld make it. Steve
really was the incest fellow around, nd
he was pleasant nd agreeable. We
got home just as dinner was ready, nd
mother asked him in, nd sure enough
he stopped. nd staid nd talked with