Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-05-31

not bother you. You can battle in the
aquarium in the dining room if you feel
like it, and there will be nothing said
about it in the papers. The hotel piano
is not going now. The huge Percheron
saleratus blonde of the effete east is not
playing white Wings" She has went
away. She has taken with her also her
little wad Of hydrophobia. They de
cided to flea together. You will see her
soon at Coney Island, and tipping up
one side of the United States wherever
she treads the writhing streets. l saw
her on a bobtail car last summer. She
was standing up and holding a damp
dog, for it was a rainy day. She was
holding on by strap and starting the
gathers in her skirt a good deal. Her
dress waist was made with a little jack
rabbit tail TO it which hunched up more
and more as we moved along, and ex-
tended out over the dashboard, as l may
say, like the tin, anti-caterpillar over
skirt ON the giant elms of Boston Com
mon.
Her hair also was becoming disar-
ranged, and one could see sediment of
saleratus on her flushed scalp. She did
not know whether to let her hair come
down or ask some total stranger to hold
the dog. At that moment the car gave a
great lurch, and with a sob she sat down
in the lap of a man with raspberry
nose and deeply dyed anthracite whis-
keTs. As came away she was still sit
ting there, and, mingling with the dead,
museum black of his long jute beard, l
saw the loosened masses, the great
wealth of insincere and antique oak hair
which belonged, apparently, to the sal
eratus blonde.
But she is not here now. Neither is
the precocious Little Lord Fauntleroy
who usually frightens people away from
a hotel He also has gone. You will
not see him here now. You can almost
enjoy yourself, it is 50 destitute of him
The kicker also has gone. He did the
best he could for the last few days that
he was here, and then he found that one
man could not do the matter justice IN
less he got a clerk who could speak sew
eral languages. So he went away, and
now you can only see the freckles on
the front of the counter where he has
kicked against his bill.
Kansas generally and Hutchinson
proper are in more hopeful condition
than for many years past. The album
dant rains have guaranteed good crop
already, and good crop in Kansas
makes the granaries of the globe laugh
and hold their sides with i'll concealed
joy, Here also may be seen not only in
dustry but thrift. James Garvey, the
railroad rdncounter and after dinner
speaker (also good before dinner con
versationist), said yesterday that
neighbor of his advertised this spring
for 100 men to catch driftwood on shares.
He soon got nice little crew at work,
and has built up good business, which
is almost devoid of the disagreeable ele-
ment of risk. 1t is as safe as the indus
try so popular on Madison avenue and
Fifth avenue, which is conducted by the
bright youth of New York, and which
consists in stealing valuable cats and
then waiting for a reward Sometimes
a dog which is distasteful to the hus-
band Is offered to one of these boys, with
a two dollar bill in addition if he will
drown it, He keeps it until the wife
offers five dollars for its return, and then
he sneaks it around to the house, thus
making seven dollars on a 27-oupce dog