New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-07-09
M INTEREST TO MARRIED MEN

The baue Of the married man who Is occaSIoh-
ollv kent out late by the demands or DuSlfesS
NJ the sudden ac1ness Of friend Is, OF course
his wife She always hears him when he comes
in. and puts him to rout the next morning az
tl,o hreotfast table with her steady, martyr-like
coze. as he explains why ne was late. sensible
married men long ago gave up the attempt 10
oct in without their wives hearing them. fracu-
callv II is something which cannot be done. For
1onc time men tried taking off their shoes at
tbr foot Of the stairs, but IL never seemed to 90
am, rorticular good Many have tried taking
+,,cn, oH in the street before going In the 'front.'
rate but 10 no purpose; the laborlous ana eN-
osnnr,tinc process, of finding the keyhole or the
'front.' door invariably awakened tue sleeping
sharcrs of their joys and sorrows. 1onKerS
nan named Craddock once took MS shoes OH elshV
blocks from home and hung them on hmpposI'
hut when he reached the house he found MS wlie
wide awake counting the strokes OF the cloch
os IL struclx g. So. as we intimated, the wise
married man now walks in boldly and does not
axe off his shoes till the last thing no matter
what the hour, though the practice OF not TAX
inc them on at all, but retiring with them still
on, is apt to rouse suspicion.
What course, then, asks the green and unprac-
ticed bachelor does the married man pursue 10
obtoin immunity in the case Of late homecoming?
rcsort to base deceit concerning the time at which
Ina orrived home Though wife invariably
wakes M when her husband comes in late, tired
ont with office or sicll-chamber work, she does
not usually rise to consult the clock She de-
pends rather on its striking, counting the strokes
of midnight and still more especially Of the small
hours following with deadly precision! But this
nnwholesome practice on the part of the wife Is
obviated by the general use of the Boyd Family
Clock Regulator. This was invented by Henry
BOYD. a philarthropist Of Harrisburg Penn, In
1887, and may be applied to any clock, though
its existence is known TO but few wives Its
operation is simple; after having passed the
trpacherous front door With its illusive, and, as
it sometimes seems, actually nOn-eXisting key
hole, the returning head Of the house, feeling Ger
tain that his wife is awake, touches hidden
spring IN the clock, which causes it TO strike 10,
or H. or at the outside 10, as he deems most
prudent thus largely or wholly disarming the
nnsuspectng womah An idea " the popularity
Of the Boyd Regulator may be gained from the
fact that Of the new clocks sold in this country
last year, nearly 90 per cent were provided with
if. while over 100000 regulators were attached
TO old clocks
But there has MI along been another fatal
enemy Of the married man, especially in the
smaller towns and cities, and in the suburbs, 70
which no regulator could be applied. We mean
the rooster As is well known, this base fowl
sngcth,' as Shakespeare hath it, only in the
latter part Of the night A few young wives have
been made TO believe that the American rooster
begins TO crow shortly after II O'Clock but the
great majority Of wives fully understand either
from observation or from consultation Of the
cyclopaedia. that he seldom crows before l
O'Clock, and not usually till after .. Therefore,
il has been in the past that though the tardy
married man has used the Boyd Regulator with
intelligence this UnhOly bird OF darkness has put
his head out OF the coop window and with one
superhuous crow undone it all. But this is not
going 10 be true OF the future. worthy com
panion for Mr.. Boyd has arisen in the person of
Mfr A c. Hartmann OF Albany who has just
mode public his invention. With the Hartmann
system the roosts of the chicken coop will consist
inches more or less above each pole there will
No wire. The roost will be connected with
one mole of an electric battery and the wire with
the other Ordinarily the fowls will only touch
tho roost. but when an illadviscd cock puts up
| his head 10 crow. and thereby. perhaps 70 hetray
so,ne innocent married man, his crest will touch
tho v,ire which will complete The circuit, and he
v,uI receive shock which will cause him TO sit
down and ponder Oh the mOrvels OF modern in
,entlon The Hartmann Rooster Tranqulizer
cor h opplIed al small cost and is certain 20 have
. s,Ie pounlled only by that OF the Boyd Family
Clock Regulator.
THO merits Of the ncw invention are so plain
+,at nothing we could say would make them more
lI,-ous Nor need we date on the demand that
.,i.,s for some such appaIatus-marrled men know
90 a only too we'll We are pleased to say that
| Mr. Hartmann will soon open place for the sale