The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-03-01

We must, before going any further,
state that the trustees of the village of
Bilgewater and three companies of the
fire laddies are not OF good terms. Tha
trustees and these fremen dislike each
other very much indeed, and as Mr..
Teeter is a trustee it is said that his loss
is much greater than it would have been
had his name even been Dennis instead
of Cicero. The fire companies are all
composed of volunteers, and as they pay
dues and fines and put out fires at their
own expense they feel rather independ-
ent about where they will show the
most zeal.
The trustees have an appropriation
which they handle each year according
to the dictates Of their own consciences,
which is supposed to go to the fire de-
partment, but this year they do not
hand it over without the duly receipted
bills of the department to show that the
money has not been Incorporated.
This makes the fire ladies hot, for they
own their machines and board them
selves. A fire laddie hates to have his
whiskers singed off and his NOSE frozen
SO stiff that in blowing it the whole for
ward part of the nose may crack and
fall off, but still worse he hates on ton
of all this to have his motives impugned.
The fire laddie suffers, but he never
weeps. He says to the trustees of the
village of Bilgewater: 1--WE, especially
members of Unparalleled Squirt No. l,
have put up with about all we care to
stand, and SO we shall soon offer our
nice red trucks and blue ladders for sale.
IF you are afraid hat we will fool away
your appropriation on axle grease TO,
our engine OF rat poison for our engine
house, and you dare not trust us out Of
sight, we will pause before we rescue
your abnormally plain hired girl from
the blazing rafters of your burning
buildings. You have asked us for oul
ultimatum, and we inclose one herewith
which we have never used. 1t is a nice,
bright, new ultimatum. with a snapper
on the end of it. Use it carefully and il
will last you a long time"
Then the trustees appealed to the pa
triotism of the fire ladies, saying: "Sure.
ly you viii not go and sell your bright
red trucks and things to a comparative
stranger, and then on the Fourth of July
have nc machine to haul around past the
Dutch pond and along the Fi~ngerbowl
road. Come. now, boys, don't act that
wayi"
With this state of affairs, which has
been unchanged for several weeks, it is
not strange that when the shrill cry O
fire burst forth from the massive throat
of Mr.. Teeter, at 11:47 on the above
night, several volunteer firemen coyly
looked out at window and then went
back to bed again.
Help! helpil will no one save me-?
cried the naughty official as he stepped
on a cold, toy rubber ball with his bare
foot, and shrieked again till the alright
ed night caught up the refrain, and two
men who We're passing by on their way
to catch a boat almost stopped to SEE
what the matter was.
By this time the forked flames began
to lick their chops and reach out 70,
combustible material. The fire fend
soon discovered. for it was but the work
of a moment, that the building was fire.
proof, so there would be nothing to pre-,
vent not only cutting it but actually
wiping it from the face Of the earth.