Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-02-14
PIzEN RIDGE R. G.

FEBRUARY DeVun.
Mr.. EDDYTUR: We are hourishing.
We have six more victims on the string.
We expect to make free distribution of
seed grain in the spring. Our order Is
growing in popular favor. Men who were
opposed to secret societies lash spring are
having a wonderful change of heart as
seed time approaches.
At our last meeting bruther Hockett
wanted to reorganize our club on the plan
of the ginral guvment. He sed We should
have three divisions; legislative, exactive
and judishus Most of our members have
a hankerin' for the first division so the
house went into Kommitty of the hole for
the consolidation of important subjex.
Brnther Hockett Jr. wants the state TO
prospect for coal on tie plains. Any kind
of coal will do, either bituminous or al
luminous. He says chip pickin' is getting
monnytonius.
Bruther uniformity wants the state to
publish the annual supply of aimanax.
He seq the weather predictions Of the
proprietary almanax are totally unreliable
and the fact that we now get our astron-
omical and medical literature at cost
don't cut no figger with him.
Brnther Flapjack submitted some new
rules fer the government of the order.
They were adopted with eclat and other
freuch wurds.
Rule No. l: Any member who wears
socks in the open lodge will be bounced
by the royal bumper.
No2: Any member who dares mention
"penchuns," 'bloody shirts" or ''secesh''
will be shot with wad of the Non Con-
formist as an enemy of peace and the in
suffer of our brethren aud accomplices.
Bruther Slimgrub wants the govern
ment to provide for an ekal distribution
of the offices both elective and appintlve.
Bruther Varrykater supported the prOpo-
sition. He sed: Brethren, the three P's
are what you want; patience, perseverance
and peregoric We have an immense case
of flatulency eructive disturbance III the
body polite of our order at large. L,
myself, have had my abdominal muscles
distended thereby until they assumed the
form and proportions of hoop-skirt.
Still hope to live from one end to the
other. Bretheren. it is a long lane which
has no turning. I speak from personal
knowledge. The game lasted all summer
but, notwithstanding many fouls" and
slides" I got there with both feet and
tailed one in the seventh inning.
Ny dear brethren look at me. Look at
all your bosses, leaders and general can
ditates, They have all been in all the re-
forms of the last twenty years. They have
all grown gray in the service of their
country and have never wearied in we'll
doing. Let us be encouraged. The race
is not always to the swift nor the bat
tie to the strong. In these days the long
winded are forging to the front. In 10
some of us became ashamed of the bloody
shirt and cried Liberal" In &c, together
with our friends in the man tent, we cried
Hretrenchment and reform" and then tried
to buy a presidential elector. In 80 we
cried fiat" and slandered the ma-tyred
| Garfield. In "a was purity and prohi-
bition" and we succeeded so well as to
elect the avowed enemy of both accord
ing to his own platform and the allega-
Etions of Marian. In '88 ''robber tariff was
/ our watchword and English gold helped
Us to sing a lullaby to sooth the ear OF