Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-03-15
BACHELOR, AGAIN.
a BRIGHT ReJolNoeR TO sENEDlcT's
ARTICLE.
Few ssen Qualified for Matrimonial
Word in Favor OF tho flirt-marriags
and CeIibacy Incidental to Happiness.


severe OF he will pardon me for saying so).
that can't let him 60 without one more
spear-thrust.
attack his consistency. He depicts mar
rage In alluring colors; ne asserts deep
p,tv for the bachelor he denounces cele-
bacy almost as a social crime and threat
ems IL with tho malediction OF Heaven.
And yet in CHANGING over his articles one IL
convinced that all unconsciously, OF course,
Benedict is at bottom either an enemy TO
the cause be processes to champion, or else
IL a raonarchist and believes in the divine
right Of kingsi
His general proposition is democratic
enough--i. c., that oil men ought to marry,
but when we examine into the exceptions
he makes TO the rule we find that no
reduces the manageable class 70 very
limited proportions, mankind generally
falling under one or the other exceptions (:
In ono of his earlier articles he shuts out
from the Flysian Fields of MarImony not
less than nine-tenths Of the citizens Of Vir-
ginia, for after advertising the many ut
fractions Of welded life aud extorting
bachelors TO come 10 the altar, he con
cludes with the cruelty restrictive qallii-
cation U do not quote his exact wofdsl
that every son of Adam ought to marry y
he is financially dbb 10 no so; Ana while
Benedict does not state in definite hgures
what he regards as the proper nnahclal
prerequisite, yet we can CLEAN from the
airy way in which he elsewhere deals IN
money values that nothing less than
$4,000 year would bring man into the
golden circle of his general law. recall
how in emphatic condemnation oil the
Virginia staple be has declared he would
not smoke q pipe for $4,000.
Again, he admits there are other classes
srAn I'll ayQrnnflnn-fnOGH
have mothers and sisters dependent on
them for support this class he Will ma
TO be large one in war-wasted virginia
those VINO devote themselves TO the good
of humanity in religion, and / may auu
in science and in art, and he concludes his
list OF exempts from his social-duty service
by releasing those poor fellows whom
"The light that liesin woman's eyes
Has led 20 their undoing."
How many of the latter class there NAV
be in proportion 10 the population | have
no guide for coniecturing. / have heard,
however, that there are some IN Rich
mond and in Ashland, land in the regions
round about Jordan"
Thus Benedict narrows the list OF those
who ought to marry TO Spartan band;
and he has left out of the count moral
causes for rejection which should have
even greater weight than the physical and
sentimental ones he has enumerated. Has
the brutal fellow who maltreats his horse
or his dog, the selfish creature who thinks
only of his comfort, of his own indul-
gences, have such ms these right to enter
the holy ordinnnce2 Or the foul, impure
debauche, what right has he to drag down
10 his level On innocent. loving womanf
All! Benedict, how we might lengthen this
list Of exceptions, which, added to your
own, would indeed make marriage luxury
only for the elect
The greatest danger TO truth is the ten
dency to generaliZe from few examples
and thus claim proof of universal law.
And / fear my worthy friend has done this.
He has been fortunate above his fellows,
and from his own exceptionally happy lot
he concludes that marriage is the Open
Sesame" to social beatitude, and with the
warm enthusiasm of one who loves his
fellow-man he stands in the mGrket-place
and cries to the madding crowd: Come.
and will show you the way TO happiness
IT'S lust around the corner, in the clerks
Office of the Hastings Court. For one dol
lar YOU can get your license. Marry, and
Heaven dawns upon you" Alas! if my
friend will remember that there are records
in many courts of our land with entries
like this: DARBY rs. Joan-Decree Tor Dr.
yorce." il nav cause him to stop and con-
slider il he isn't q little too insistent in his
plea for matrimony.
Aside from all personal considerations it
is in consonance with the higher culture
and civilization Of the age that marriage
should no longer be regarded as indispen-
sable for man CT woman. The heightened
sense of individual responsibility, the
broader grasp of economic relations, the
clearer perception of cause and effect, the
wider activities of life, that distinguish
this age, all are fatal TO indiscrimlnate
marriage.
In the increased avenues of bread-win-
MING opened to woman. in the breaking
down of the barriers TO her development
which hoary custom has so long kept up,
in the self-reliance her changed condition
engenders, we plainly see that woman is
no longer dependent upon marital cOnnec-
ton with man either for her happiness or
her support. Marriage for her is gradually
becoming far more question of judicious
volitlon than OF social necessity, and, sell
fish bachelor though ! be. / would hail
with delight the dav when no woman's
life shall be broken on the rack of uncon-
genial marriage. and when women shall be
united only TO men worthy of them. l am
fully aware, however, that this would
mean tremendous increase in the number
of bachelors, and would possibly, from
Benedict's standpoint. threaten Virginia's
material advancement.
In his No. 7 the married man is undulv
worst fault. He has no terms too harsh
for he fi,f Really. nm surprised to find
such depth of bitterness in my friend for
80 venial O sin, if sin it be. He must be
idealizing. | am sure he has never been q
victim himself of woman's falseness, and
probably the indignation he feels at the
idea is due to what he has read in poetry
or fiction, or to what he has been
told by some writhing swain. lnforma-
ton gatheIel from such sources natu-
rally gives him an exaggerated idea
of what is really q harmless mode OF recre-
alton; indeed, am inclined to believe q
very wholesome exercise of the royal pre-
rogatiye. Flirting is woman's art by which
she develops mans vanity, and when he
IS sufficiently inflated she punctures HIM
with bare bodkin," and cola he col
lapses. Ii isa salutary lesson, though of
course the victim bowls and makes q
mighty pother. No compassion. however,
need be wasted on him. He either recov-
ers in due time or else he has the pleasing
solace of grievance for the rest of his ex-
istenee.
Benedict promises us the history Of a
bachelor who said 10 him, My life is a
failure" All biography is interesting and
II has been truly said that the life of every
man contains the elements of O deep
tragedy. But / warn nv good friend not
have been equally failure had he had as
many wives as the Grand Turk. "Yhe
fault, dear Brntus, ia in ourselves, not in
our stars that we are underlIngs." Few
are the lives that have not been in some
aspects failures, whetherrecognized or not
as such by those who have lived them.
Man is so prone 10 seek o6jeciire reasons for
wasted life, and amid its ruins tits balm
90 the wearied soul to believe the fault was
not wholly his. To the mass it would
yield better comfort If at the end of a
useless journey they would reflect that
whichever path they might have taken at
the parting of the ways they would have
wished they had followed the other.
And so / reach the conclusion of this
"Rreat argument" Neither marriage nor
celibacy are in themselves the cause of
happiness or woe. but only incidental.
Happy the man or woman who can say in
either state with head uplifted
81 am the master Of my fate;
i am the captain Of my soul"
B.