Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-01-10
THE TOPICAL IALKER.
The Lecture Didn't Fit.

The Lecture Didn't Fit
'sThe mistake which Deputy Coroner Berry
made in identity, as related in The DISPATCH
to-day, was nothing TO one I fell into few
years ago." said an Allegheny physician yes
terday. Zone morning an elderly lady. pa
tient / valued highly, came into my office and
told me that her SON, who was Of the college
student age, would call upon me that after;
noon. Would !. she begged me. make his
condition-which she said was none too good
anyhow-appear worse than it was and warn
him that if he did not stop dissipating that he
might as well prepare himself for the grave?
The boy was wild. she said, and would not be
advised by her. l promised, OF course, and she
went away
II forgot all about the matter until late in
the afternoon young man, rather loudly
dressed and perfumed with cigarette smoke,
came in and asked for me. His appearance at
once reminded me Of my promise to the anx-
ious mother. He settled any doubt might
have had by saying that he didn't think there
was much the matter with him, but his mother
had asked him to see me.
81 put on the sternest look could and said:
Tt is good thing you came. l can see that
you're in a pretty bad way, young man. Too
much whiskey. too many cigarettes, not enough
sleep-I guess have diagnosed your complaint
correctly
He turned color ana shifted uncomfortably
in his seat-which did not surprise me in the
least, and went on: Now, tell you what it is,
sir. if you don't check your pace you'll land in
the cemetery pretty suddenly. The best medi-
cideI can give you is straight tip to steady up?
Then made a superficial examination OF
him and finished the lecture with some gen.
eral remarks about the danger of rapid life.
He took the dose kindly enough. but he was
evidently surprised, and when 1 had done he
said: I don't know what you mean by accusing
of fast habits but If it is any satisfaction to
you may tell you that I've never taken drink
in my life, and if smoke cigarette or two it's
about the only dissipation Pye known since my
marriage
Since your marriageT 1 interrupted, with a
dawning conception of the blunder had made.
"'Yes-since my marriage
Then realized my predicament-I had lee
tured the wrong man. It seemed best to me- to
make a clean breast of the whole thing and
apologize. He was good natured, and 1 have
him as patient still. You can bet that / took
it out Of the real culpr1 when he came"
Big Lawyers VIII Be Shy.
The latest blast from the Sureme Court
naturally has given the lawyers something to
talk about for the last two or three days. The
opinions of the legal fraternity vary about as
much as those OF their lay brethren, but at least
there is general agreement apparently that
whatever legislation is suggested TO take the
place Of that which has been knocked out by
the Supreme Court is not likely to have the
sanction or countenanee of as distinguished
attorneys as the street act of 1857. The latter
measure was drawn most carefully and then
submitted to several attorneys of the highest
rank, d. T. Watson, ESQ.,. for one, and examined
with legal microscopes, but without the revela-
tion of flaw. What the lens used by Judge
Williams discovered is clear enough to every
body now, though his view of the law is not
accepted by everybody by any means. The
practical upshot of all this will be, as a dis
tinguished lawyer said to me yesterday. that
the next tstreet bill will have to get along with
out legal godtathers of high degree. The big
guns at the bar will not discharge their opinions
upon public measures without a very large
insult" as Pooh-Bah would say.
Doetoring an Organ.
The Carnegie Hall organ has been suffering
from q mysterious complaint, and an organ
doctor who works for Roosevelt arrived in Al
legheny recently. in obedience to a summons
from City Organist Wales, who had been for
over month pestered by ghost dance, which
had occurred often lately. somewhere within
the v1tals of the big instrument. When the
wind was turned on there would ensue a sub
dued rattle. as If the tremulant stop was break
ing its heart. Then the tower pipes of the cello
would take turns in sounding cacophonously.
and ever and anon the deep notes of the Bour-
don would ''neb'' in and furnish an inartistic
foundation of discords. Mr.. Wales searched
his memory for precedent and the inside of
the organ for a reason for the disarrangement
of the municipal Paw Pipes. but in vain. Mr..
Sanborn came. heard, lit innumerable candles,
scratched his generally clever head. and said
twas passing strange. The city organIst haz-
arded rats" as a venture in the theory of
wheezy organs, but the suggestion was laid on
the table. Then both gentlemen took of their
coats, and after hard work Tor fSur hours dis
covered what the trouble was, but only when
the entire interior of the left side of the organ
had been dissected with screw-drivers. The 2
inch boards forming the bottom of the pedal
wIndchest had been warped by the atmospheric
conditions SO that slight escapement of the
wind pressure affected every one of the tiny
bellows under each pipe of the four pedal stops
on the left side of the organ. Nor was that all.
A windtrunk-as the connection between the
bellows and the windchest is styled-had con-
traeted in length, permitting a still further
waste of the organs breath.
The boards were all removed and planed with
the greatest nicely, and then recovered 9th
sheepskin, shaved to an exact thickness. The
same material was glued on to the abbreviated
wind-trunk, enough in all being used to repre-
sent several suits of clothes and wagon load
of saddles, shoulders and chops. The CON-
ponent parts of the organ being once more ad-
jusred, silence reigned in the interior of the
instrument. 1t took several days to bring the
organ to order, but now it speaks only when
spoken to, as all well-regulated organs should.
A Dancers Candid Confession.
There was cool candor about remark made
by Mile Clara Qualitz. the premiere danseuse,
yesterday, that rather staggered her hearers.
why, do you think. became dancer?' she
asked, and as nobody would venture a guess
she went on: simply vanity, my friends.
When 1 was yet little girl knew never
sohuld be able to win admiration for my face,
so I resolved to rely upon my feet. Ilearned to
dance, and believe have succeeded in max
ing my feet persuade people that rm not
homely."
Leah, at the Bijou.
Every seat taken, boxes full and ladies stand
ing tells the story of Margaret Mather's popu-
larity with Pittsburg. She appeared
last night at the Bijou in Rosen-
that's powerful tragedy. Leah, the Fors-
aken." Dealing with the strongest pas
sions humanity knows. this production gives
tho antress the fullesr opportunity for the