Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-08-22
PARSON JONES' PRACTICAL JOKES.


Franks Played by Genial Pulpit
Founder on His Associates.
Gornley IL one Of the most ancient towns
in what Is known as the Black Country in
| England, and has produced some rather
notable characters. About fifty years ago
1t was the residence of the Rev. Joseph
Jones, or, AS he was sometimes facetiously
called, the Rev. Joker Jones, on account Of
bis disposition for practical joking He
was the Baptist minister of the town, but
the austerity of his creed did not repress
his genial and happy disposition nor pre-
vent him from living a jocose and merry
life. His pleasantries were sometimes
rather more than the grave and solemn
deacons Of his church could tolerate, but
on the whole Mr.. Jones got on very well
with everybody His jokes were generally
OF harmless character, calculated TO
amuse everybody and offend nobody. There
was one exception to this rule, and its per
Petration occasioned Mr.. Jones to receive
notice to quit the house which for some
years he had rented under Lord Warne.
When the notice expired Mr. Jones ap-
peared mt the agents Office and rendered
the rent.
Have you brought the key, Mr.. Jonesp"
the agent asked.
mo, Mr.. Perkins, haven't" was the
reply.
"How is thatf"
Because i want it,"
what do you want the key for"
"To lock the door"
Haven't you vacated the housef"
mo; Pm not going to-"
But you will have to. 1t was his lord
ships own wish that you should receive
notice, and you'll have to leave"
Give my respects to his lordship, and
tell him il he don't know when he's got a
good tenant | know when Pve got a good
landlord. and if he's got anything else to
say he can Just call Shall be glad to see
him"
When this audaeity was reported to his
lordship he exclaimed: Darn the fellows
impotence. Let him stay, Perkins; let
him stay"
His lordship had been induced to order
notice to quit to be given to Mr.. Jones
through the influence of the rector of Corn
ley, who had been the victim of one of Mr..
Jones' practical jokes, which occurred as
as follows:
In the market town, four miles away,
the Gornley Arms was the principal hotel,
and was famed for its excellent table. One
day the Rev. DR. Crook, rector of Gornley,
sat down to dinner. He could scarcely re.
press frown when a Methodist minister
came in and took a seat on the opposite
side of the dinner table. He was hardly
seated when the burly form of the Rev.
Joseph Jones appeared, and with evident
delight he sat down by the rector. A fish
was placed before them.
Twill you be good enough to carve. doc
tori" said Mr.. Jones.
The relations between church cIerpymep
and dissenting ministers were much less
genial than they are now, and, unable to
overcome his antipathy toward tlissenters
the reverend doctor answered ungracious-
ly; III carve for myself and you can do
the same. represent the church which is
the head of all churches, and shall take
the head of this fish" He took the head
aud very good part of the fish too.
The Methodist said, Il consider INV
church is the most vital of all churches.
aud take the body"
The Rev. Joseph Jones Immediately took
up the sauce tureen, and planting a ladle-
full of sauce in the faces Of both ministers
he exclaimed, Pm the Baptist parson. and
baptize you all."-Yankee Blade.