The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-23
sUNFLowER srLHoUETTEs.
How is the price of wheat? Bully.

How is the price of wheat? Bully.
Speaking of fruitfulness, Wichita mar
gave peach-tree in his yard one big shake
and 147 peaches fell.
Luther Challis' plutocracy occasionally
leaks out. He says that not one cook in
twenty knows how to make good salad
The success of the rain making explo
SONS explains two or three heavy snow
falls we had last winter. 1t was Elders
gavel.
John Otis writes an. c." after his
name People who knew him when he
ran dairy will interpret this to mean
"milch cows"
| Harrison Kelly is also said to want to be
governor of Kansas, besides Plumb's
place. Kelly wants good many things,
| but principally brains.
| 1t is extremely doubtful If President
| Harrison could get three rousing cheers
even in a convention of postmasters in
Kansas. Everybody is for Blaine.
1t is very foolish in the Alliance to drop
a Nicholson into the slot when the Repub-
licans and Democrats are united in manip-
ulating the machinery.
The Alliance asks its members in Kan
sas to contribute just one cent each to the
general fund for pamphlets, tracts, etc. A
penny for their thoughts.
A Kansas preacher visiting in. London
remarks that the churches are so gloomy
that he goes out to the graveyard near by
and gets little fun reading the inscrip-
tons.
John Davis is the only man in the state
who can exhaust chapter in trigonome-
try and book on logarithms, in explain
ing to an audience that wheat has gone up
70 Sl.02 bushel.
1t has been long time since the Kansas
farmer would pass over plate romance"
in the newspaper and devour tho dis
patches from the grain market. But this
is what he is doing this year
We'll that depends" said the Kansas
farmer who had been asked how much
wheat to the acre his farm had yielded.
From Republican standpoint about
thirty bushels; from an Alliance stand
point, fifteen bushels; but leaving politics
out OF the matter, l think it averaged
about twenty-five bushels"
The Republicans in the Alliance of the
Eigth judicial district are supporting
Nicholson, a lifelong Democrat. The Re-
publicans who are not in the Alliance are
supporting Judge Humphrey, another
Democrat. 1t has come to pretty pass IN
Kansas when the Republicans will fall out
over what Democrat they will elect.
THAT reminds me-" said the Alliance
orator, "of a story heard of some people
who were at sea in boat and they put an
hand at the wheel and show
ed him the north star and"
"We've heard that before" blurted out
a tipsy man in the rear of the hal. THAT
is Jerry Simpsons joke"
well, | remember another one that will
fit the case" the orator went on, nothing
abashed, There was an old darky who
dreamt he died and went to heaven, and
when he came up to the"
Heard that one, too" broke in the
same man, again. PETER tells that one"
Gentlemen" said the orator, getting
wroth and looking daggers at the man
who had interrupted, Il can not be shut
off by any man. am like the English
man who hired a mule from county boy,
ooh, pshaw..' groaned the drunken
man. Cant you give us new one? Old
John Otis told us that joke ten months
ago"
Ladies and gentlemen" cried the ora
tor, very red in the face and as mad as a
stuck bull, 1--WE must eXpurgate our
ranks, casting the unruly aside and up
holding the loyal"
That's Mrs Leases" yelled the drunk
en- man.
"All the forces Of Wall street and the |
boarded millions of the aristocracy are
against U.S." continued the speaker,
That's Anna Diggs'," from the drunk
IN fellow.
This was too much for the irritated |
speaker. The orator could stand it no
longer Going up to the front of the
stage, he yelled with all his might: 'Shut
lp, YOU old fool" And in The stiffness
hat followed came the reply:
That's your own. First thing original