Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-11-12
APPALLING 10 a STRANGER.
Peculiar Horrors of The-bug-that-gets-oa
the f3at ,f-your-Neck.

APPALLING 10 a STRANGER.
Peculiar Horrors of acknowledgements
the Ia ELECTROMAGNETIC.
The tarantula the ccntipede, and The
scorpion have too long divided honors
HIS being the representative Texas IN
Sccts. It is high time that the claim Of
that truly interesting creature, tha-bu@-
at-gets-or-the-b aclz-of-your-neclz, was
acknowledged. 4 man might come to
Texas and live for years without See
ing tarantulas, centipedes or scorpions,
but he couldn't possibly remain in Dali
las four and twenty hours without be-
coming intimately acquainted with the
bug-that-gets-on-th -back-of-y our-nccll.
Entomologists have sighted this insect,
and SO his scientific name is a matter IF
conjecture, but his popular title as
uiven above. fits him to a T, and is far
more satisfactory to the layman than
any Latin appelation could possibly be.
Like the mosquito, the sandbagger
ana the highwayman, the-bug-that-
p,.is-on-thc- bacll-of-your neck uses the
iaky pail of night to cover his wicked
ness. In the daytime he secrctcs him.
self in dark cracks and corners. from
which he can, unobserved, leer out at
his passing human victims and take
mental notes of their neclls and collars
The low turn-down collar, which is
almost universally worn in this hot
country, is a great favorite with the
bug-that-gets-on-th baclS-of-yOur neck,
although experience has shown that the
most altitudinous products OF the haber-
iasher's skill in neck cuffs have no ter
rors for this aggressive Texan when he
means business and is feeling real good
and deviiish. And he usually feels just
that way.
If there is one thing more than an
other that fills the spirit OF the-bug-
t-gets-on-the-b ack-o of your-neck with
unholy Joy it is to suddenly swoop down
upon nervous stranger and drive him
to the verge of idocy. He picks out
some mild-looking man who has come
to Texas with his mind full of exagger-
ated stories of tarantulas and cent?
pedes. He waits until the victim has
finished his supper and has settled him
self in an armchair in front of his hotel
to enjoy his evening cigar. And then,
when the strangers thoughts are far
away in his peaceful home and his eyes
are blind to all about him, the-bug-that-
ts-on-the- back-of-yo gathers
all his energies together and hust1es
through the night air like bolt from Il
catapult. Straight to the mark he
whizzes and hits the inoffensive dream
er with n horrible thud right on the up
per extremity of his cervical vertebra.
The mans thoughts jump back to the
present with a suddenness which jars
his whole system and upsets his chair,
and, with yell like the shrek of a lost
soul, he begins a dance, which for wild
abandon and reckless contortiOn has no
parallel on earth. A similar perform
ance would have caused panic even at
the Carmencita ball. With ever increas-
ing activity and desperation he claws
madly at the back of his neck, but his
assailant is prepared for this-he has
had eXDerience-and he has slipped
down inside the collar out of reach
Just as the man is about to collapse
through terror and sink to the sidewalk
a limp and hopeless idiot, big Texan
calmly takes hold of him, deity turns
him upside down, shakes the-bug-that-
got-on-the-b ac s-of-his-neck out, and
having restored the unnerved victim to
the perpendicular, remarks:
4 reckon you air a stranger to these
me-"
Gradually it begins to dawn upon the
man from the north that he has been
making circus of himself, and he
stammers some incoherent explanations
and rctires to his room to sleep the
sleep of utter exhaustion, or perhaps to
be visited by a nightmare in which the
back of his neck plays the star role.
There is Il new species of the-bug-
that-gets-onthe-b ack-of-your neck for
every month in the year Sometimes
he viii appear as a small green insect
with hooks where he ought to have
feet; again he takes the form of a big
black beetle-like June bug-and with
a most sonorous ''boom:" and still again
he is like unto humble bee with leath-
ern wings, a horny head, and the speed
of Mimic bullet. But he is at his best
when he carries his blistering apparatus
with him. 1t is the most perfect thing
OF its kind in existence. It's owner can
unlimber it and raise a blister the in
slant that he alights. and by the time
his victim has got his hand to the place
the bug is attending a lodge meeting
around the corner. The blisters are
painful and last two or three days, and
a man is out of the swim who is not
nursing one or two when they are in
season.
Take him for all in all, the bug-that-
gcts-on-the bacR-of-your-necl1 is a won
derful fellow, and he should have a
place on the Texas coat of arms He
can give the tarantula, centipede and
scorpion heavy odds and beat them
several laps every tine.-N. A. Jen-
Dings, in n. Y. Sun.