The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-12-18
TEMPERANCE NOTES.
GAVE HIS HAIR FOR DRINK.

How Tom and Jerry Spoiled Thanks
giving and Broke an Engagement.
''When first came to Kansas City,
some twelve years ago." said com
mission man to two or three friends
who were enjoying cigar in his Office
the other day: ''one of the first young
fellows met here was Jim McNerney.
That wasn't his name, but l call him
Jim because his name was John, and
McNerney is near enough his name so
that those who knew him at all will
easily recognize him by the story am
about to tell
II haven't thought of Jim before for
long time, and the way l happened to
think of him to-day, the day before
Thanksgiving, is that this little incl
dent happened on a Thanksgiving day.
AS you all know, we don't usually get
much cold weather here before
Thanksgiving, and many of us who
came from the east and were in the
habit of making Tom and Jerry
Thanksgiving drink were apt not to
be able to find it on tap at the usual
places where such drinks are dispensed
on that day. But on this particular
Thanksgiving we had had a few days
of cold weather with snow just previ-
GUS, and on coming down to the Office
after breakfast thought would stop
in at Bishop & Christie's and see If
couldn't find fresh bowl of the steam
ing decoction. Sure enough, occupying
the place of honor in the center of the
ba' was the big bowl of golden
cuDtard, and was just about to drink
down liberal sized mug when who
should walk in but Jim.
Now. Jim was considerably addic-
ted to the flowing bowl. In fact, he
was noted for getting hilariously in
toXicated and kicking in the Office
door and demolishing things generally
After each of these sprees he would
register solemn oath never to get full
again. and just so sure when the
proper time came around he would do
the same thing over again..
well, as said, in came Jim and of
course had to invite him to drink,
which he did with great guSto and as
was his usual custom he struck me for
dollar, for Jim was constitutionally
broke. | gave him a dollar and
went out and thought no more about
him. About midnight, just after had
returned from little whist party, the
door bell rang and l was called to the
door. There confronted Il big police
man, who told me that friend OF
mine by the name of McNerney had
been arrested for creating a disturb
ance and wanted me to come down
and bail him out At first | was in
Slined to let him stay there. bit know
ing if he didn't show up at his office in
the morning he would lose his job l
concluded l would go down.
when l got to the station was
shown to the cell where he was locked
up, fast asleep by this time, and | went
in to wake him. When he stood up
finally and looked at me | didn't rec
ognize him. When had seen him in
the morning he wore full beard and
long, curly hair, but now he was clean
sha ven and his hair was clipped as
closely as Il jail-bird. l took him up
stairs, deposited fifteen dollars for his
tine, and took him out in the air and
proceeded to sober him up. When he
hdu IilCu llIo odlllClCAbl1 W
talk asked MIN what was the matter.
Tom and Jerry was all the an
sver could get out of him for a long
time Finally got his story. 1t APP
pears he had spent his dollar in short
order setting up Tom and Jerrys to
himself and some chance acquaint-
anccS Then ne wandered into some
other place where they were keeping
open house and giving Tom and Jer-
ry to everyone who came in. Jim got
one, and then wanted another, which
was refused him on the grounds that
he had already been treated. So the
thought occurred to him to go to a
barber shop where he had credit and
have his beard shaved off, SO disguis-
ing himself that he could get another
drink. The plan worked to a charm.
Then he went back and had his mus
tache shaved off. On this new face he
got another Tom and Jerry and then
he was stuck But no, another brill
liant thought struck him and back he
gees again and soon the clippers had
made his curly head as smooth as q
billiard ball. Going up to his office
and drawing on skull cap he went
back and worked the place for a third
bowl. He had literally pawned his
hair and whislkers for Tom and Jerry.
by this time he was feeling pretty
well satisfied with himself, and, by
some ill-luck. remembering that he
was invited out to eat turkey at the
home of his betrothed, started out
there. His girl failed to recognize his
smooth face and shaven head, and
upon his persisting in explaining who
he was, her father called a policeman
and had him arrested as an escaped
lunatic. And that wasn't the worst of
it, for when he failed later on to put in
an appearance and they waited dinner
for him until the turkey was cold, the
young lady was so mad she refused
even to accept his apologies, and jim
is an old bachelor to-day. kansas
City Star.