The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-09-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Because you feel good is no reason you
are Pittsburg Post.
You can buy a fine KIT. diamond for
$500, if you have the $500.
Every married man is a hero to some
bachelor. -Bu6alo E1preSs.
The laborer is worthy of his hire,
the student of his lore.-BingHamto
Leader.
The undertaken is gambler who
usually wins the -Bingaamt0n Re-
publican.
The man who is master of himself
always has "help" that he can depend
upon.-Puck.
1t is when straws are made up into
hats that they show which way the wind
blows.-LJ6.
The deed of an incendiary is correctly
referred to as "burning shame. ."-At-
lanta Journal. .
The deae mute should express himself
in musical language; he uses hand Or
gan of speech. h.-PucE.
Always hope for the best. You will
never get it, so there will be no excuse
for abandoning hope.
Though "make hay while the sun shines'
Is proverb neglected,
Make love while the moon shines"
Is forever respected.
Washington Post
Girls should bear in mind that haul.
ing young men over the Goals does not
tend to make them pop.-DetroH Fa
Press.
Handsome is as handsome does. A
five-cent fan will give as good breeze
as one all gold and feathers. rs.-Boston
Transcript.
When man wears an air of resigna,
ton, he may be suspected of being
bank officer about to visit Canada.-
IecaS SytinqS.
Capital and labor could get on well
enough together if there were not SO
many men trying to get capital without
labor.-IeUaS SiJtingS.
He loved her, but her scornful laugh
Emhitters now his lot;
lie tried to take her photograph
And showed her what he got
-WaShiRgtoH Post.
When we come to reflect how hard il
is to keep down the natural instincts,
isn't it a lucky thing there are no Indian
hair-cutters or BARRIERS -PAiLadelphA
Times.
at is very strange" said the amateur
gardener; 81 planted radishes there, and
nothing but "A lot of green stalks have
come up, with not Tadish or sign Of 0
blossom on 'em. ."-Puck.
DashawaY-"I hear that YOU upset
some soup on Miss Palisades dress at the
dinner last night" Stuffer-''Yes; and
was fearlully put out about it. You
know 1t isn't polite to ask for soug
twice. - Cloak Reoieo.
Gentlemen-"But I'm afraid h,
wouldn't make good Watchdog
Man with Pup-"Why, bless yer art,
1t was only las week that this ere werI
animal held Il burglar down by the
throat and beat his brains out with his
tail. '--BrookiyH Lie.
You couldn't guess my age, now,
could you'' said Miss Passiagh to Billy
Bliven. NO." was the reply, al am
sure | could not" 81 have seen lust
twenty-five years" 81 say, Billy" NUT,
tered Dick Sniggens, at his elbow, "ask
ler how many years she was blind. -
Washington Post.
'I say" said Gus De JAY, as he laid
he paper across his knees, 'ths article
ays that flood of intelligence is going
o sweep the country" "Well, deab
10Y, don't let it worry you,' replied
Willie Washington. "You're no. likely
o be any lood-sulIerer, you know
Washington Pest.
GLOW did your revival over at Apache
iulch pan out?' "Wcn," answered the
arizona evangelist, ''it wasn't exactly a
uccess. At the third meeting / hap,
'ened to say that believed Apache
iulch was the wickedest place OF its size
u earth. After that my words fell fiat.
was the first time the town had been
lted as iirst-cIass IN anything, aud they
idn't care to lose the distinction. "-Ia-
iaaapoiis J0rHdi.
A little girl who is Just learning TO
,ad short words, takes great interest in
le big letters she sees IN newspapers.
he other evening, after she had kept
er mamma busy reading the advertise
ents in the newspapers to her, she kuelt
own TO say her prayers. "Lordn
sped, "make me pure" Then
ted and went on, with fer
eut latter, "Make me q
<e baking POWDER
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