Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-01

employ, I will endeavor to explain
away tho clouds of doubt that seem to
hover around my transactions with the
aforesaid paper. / am aware that 1t
may seem cruel and unkind of me to
leave this paper in the fowery spring
time of its youth. to struggle on with
no master hand to guide it on to fame
and a sheriff's sale, but I am not as
strong as used to be, nor as robust, and
when some kind friend; who is more
muscular than I am, takes exceptions
to my style of personals and editorials.
and emphasizes his arguments by
standing me on the bald spot of my
head until he makes pi of my false
teeth and spectacles, and my face
looks like an abnormal development of
Hubbard squash, seem to lose my old
time vigor and enthusiasm, and I pine
for the good old times when 1 was I'M
known to fame and my creditors. I
am naturally of a sensitive makeup,
and such things CRATE harshly on my
bilious temperament. There are other
reasons why have left the editorial
chair, and allowed the Sky ScTGpeT to
unconsciously meander on into obscur-
ity, where it can darn its socks
and pay its debts-reasons that's
cold, calloused world might say re-
hected on my general good standing as
q Presbyterian. The most obvious
reason, how ever, was the peculiar style
of communication that daily received
from the outside world. I herewith
append letter which is one of many
which caused me to shuttle off the
journalistic coil:
KoRN FLATS PosToFFICE, May 10, ST.
deer editer-It is with conhict1h mo-
shuns OF sorrer and resignashun that 1 ad-
dres. this epistol to you, in order to let the
wurld at large knO the feelins that now are
harrowtn my buzzum. he has gone: he has
departed. my consort has unfolded him.
self like the arabs. do their camp meet1n
tents, and has fed to parts unknown and
left his relict to f1te the vtsisertudes OF
kold Wurld single handed. The scaldin teers
fall like the nifty niagry, but they do not
drown the thOts of him who Is now gone from
my side. He is not ded; oh. no, tho he had
better be afore Hay eyes on him agin. He has
skipped with another woman; a red-headed
hussy, who lived mex door, with wart on
her nose. No longer can find konsola-
shuns and kOmfort, in takin in washins, and
tallxin bout my nabers with wilder Peabody.
the wun great sorrer OF my life is eacth up
my soul; is knawin at my vitals; and only
wey a hundred and ninety. I am but the
shadder Of my former self. But was not
always so. was once gay and frivolous; the
only dautter of rich parents who run a
cheese factory on shares.
Luxuries wer mine, but gave them a l
up to becom the wife and kumpanyun Of
Ebinezer SnickleS; an this is my reward,
this is my compensation for my CRATE sac
krihse; left alone to pine an fade away like
the last rose of summer, or the modest lily.
Wurds fa1e to expires my feelins; my hart -
broke, an my liar hangs tuneless on tha
dorenob. Why he shud flea frum me kant
tell, as I alters was kind to him, an alters
allowed him to kule off his warm back ON
my kold feet The fire burns cherries on
the berth, an no longer do I see the deer
fgger of my Ebinezer peelin the pertaters
or my bunyuns. My sole cries out in ang-
wish against its lot, an my very hands
gro nervus to feel of my cOnsort's
locks, as they were wont to do No more
shall find peace and komfort in rubin his
he'd with the flat-fron, or layin him under
the bed with the rollin-pin. My hart grows
heavy under its birdin of greet. No more
shall see my beloved 'Neezer sneekin out
behind the woodshed to smoke, or ringtn the
clothes while talk with Wilder Peabody.
o, why shud he leve me? Why did he not
stay and be happy as we used to he2 Deer
editer, I address these lines to you, hopin
that they may be the means of bringin him
back to my lovin embfaSe. EbeneZer was a
tall man, a trife stupe sholdered, and rather
leanish. You wud kno him by a Skar jest
over his rite eye, that gave him wun day
as token Of my esteam; his beerd, what IS
left of it, is kinder gray, and his frunt teeth
are all gone. When last sene he wore a red
flannel shurt an vest with out eny buttins
on 1t. The left leg of his pantalunes he
wares in his butte, the rite leg hangs
down about his Shew II meme the rite leg OF
| lame, sometimes in wun leg and some
times in tother, accordfn to circumstances.
1 think 1t was the rite leg last time. hOpin
| you may see him, and tell him how 1 am
| 0inin to see him and love him as of yoar, /
remain, yures in greet
CYNDERn.LY SNIcKLEs.
D. 81 will kali tomorrow to see If you
| have herd frum him.