Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-03-14
MR.. xsswAr.s EXPERIMENT.
He shows Iobelia How to save Money While
Adding TO the Comforts of Life.

Adding 10 the Comforts of Life.
From the Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. McSwat went home one afternoon a few
weeks ago with something wrapped mp In a
brown paper. He laid IL on the kitchen table,
but kept his hand on IL, AS IL IL were a mystery
too } .omentous 20 be unfoided without taking
precautions against inficting upon the sensi-
tive nervous system Of Mira McSwst q sudden
and unexpected shock.
We'll, Bliger, what is it,
Don't be in q hurry, Lobelia. All in good
time. have made up my mind to try a little
experiment. l car hardly call il an expert
ment, though. 1t is such an obvious, practical
thing that it's a wonder to me il hasn't been
done for a hundred years. am going to show
You, Lobelia, how to save money and add to the
comforts of life."
Mr.. Mcswat then proceeded with great de-
liberation to open the package. He took of
the string, rolled it up into little coil and gave
1t to Mrs. McSwat
Its good idea, Lobelia," he said, ito save
every piece of string that comes into the house.
lou may need il some time"
She had bag full of similar coils laid away
somewhere. tangled into an inextricaole mass
and running over at the top. and had no use
under the shining sun for another inch of
string, but she promised TO take care of thi
particular wad. Meanwhile Mr.. Mcswat was
view at last beets tongue.
There il is. Lobelia, he exclaimed.
II don see anything remarkable about IL.
bllllger. except that II isnt smoked"
That just the point, madam, he retorted.
I've got tired Of paying sixty cents apiece for
smoked tongues that look like section of
dried monkeys forearm and taste as il
they had been dug UP out of an Indian
mound. Im TO smoke my own beet tongues
hereafter"
But how are you going to do it2 We haven't
any smoke house"
just you wait minute and You'll see.
Bring me AN iron poker"
Mrs. McSwat hunted up the desired imple-
ment and brought it to him.
Nov observe"
He thrust the poker about half its length
through the slit in the end of the tongue.
Now come on, Lobelia."
he preceded her upstairs. opened a back
window, stepped out the kitchen roof and
made his way up by laborious climbing to the
comb, and thence along to the chimney at the
further end. Lifting himself carefully up he
placed the poker across the top OF the chimney,
the beef tongue hanging down inside.
That's the scheme. Lobelia, he said, clam
bering back to the window. It'll smoke the
thing all right and nave just forty cents Catch
me buying smoked tongues any more"
But there's no smoke coming up that Chin
ney, Billiger,' said his wife. We burn hard
Coal, you know"
I'm fix that. Well throw in slab Of wood
occasionally, and if that doesn't make smoke
enough we'll burn a little soft coal They re
both cheaper than hard coal"
They went down stairs. and for the next
twenty-four hours or longer, in compliance
with instructions from Biiliger, Mrs. McSwat
and the amiable domestic, Ophelia, piled the
kitchen range literally with slabs of wood and
chunks Of soft coal.
On the morning of the second day after Mr.
McSwat had put in operation his grand scheme
for adding to the comfort of living he climbed
out to the chimney again. lifted the tongue out
and brought it down strirs.
NO discount on this job. Lobelia," he said
holding 1t up. Its smoked till you can't rest
Ever see a finer-looking tongue than that
Doesn't II look good deal shriveled, Bill
ger?n inquired Mrs. McSwat, obviously.
"A smoked tongue always looks shriveled.
All You need TO do now is to scrape it of nicely,
peel of the skin and cook il"
Mrs. McSwat pulled the tongue off the poker
laid it down on the table and C broke In two.
1t was covered with thick deposit of SCOT
was charred almost to the center and from its
steaming interior came a rich odor in which
several distinct kinds Of smoke were clearly
perceptible.
1T won't need any more cooking, Billiger"
announced Mrs McSwat.
In the center of the thickest portion there
was about an ounce and half of flesh that had
escaped the general destruction in which the
rest OF the tongue mad been involved. How
Mrs. McSwat carefully scooped this out served
1t up for Billigers dinner as temptingly as To-
nature Of the case would admit and hung over
him like an angel Of mercy while he ate it
how Billiger McSwat made mental compu-
tation as to the saving he had effected in smok-
ing his own beef tongue, without counting two
large r.n.s in the inner periphery of each
trousers leg caused by shingle nails on the
roof-how he reflected on the comforts he had
added to life by his little experiment, it is not
the purpose of this chronicle TO relate but trust
worthy Information received at this Office quite
recently is TO the effect that Mr.. McSwat buys
his smoked tongues now and pays without q
murmur whatever the monopolist behind the
counter chooses to ask him.