Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1891-01-29

Dy ner exlleQ sons across Cle seq
J. B. 0eaves the throne and rushes
from one side of the stage to the other at
mention of Ireland, shaking his cudgel in
.. S. s face, while Z. S. sits calmly smok-
ing) Yes, you are sending aid to Ireland
to defeat our government if you can, but
we'll show you that it can't be done!
U. S. No, no. we're only watching
J. B. You call it watching, do you,
when millions of dollars are coming from
America to help the lazy Irish to resist
law and order?
u. S. Now, Johnny, do be reasonable.
You never seem to fret when millions of
pounds come to help pay the English land.
lord.
J. B. o, that is private funds!
U. S. Just so, Johnny. So is this private
funds
j. B. Be careful or you will find your
public funds in danger.
L. S. Just so. I remember you were
careful of your private funds a few years
ago, when you sent aid by the ship load to
help defeat our nation. livery dog has his
day, Johnny.
J. B. Take care what you say! I'm in
no humor TO enjoy joke Shaking his cud-
gel with renewed vigor at U. S..
U. S. Smoking calmly. Now, Johnny,
just keep cool | know you hate to have
us talking about you, calling you robbers
and murderers, but you are too high, John
ny. Come down to the level Of mankind
and view things as we do; then you'll see
these things for yourself.
Just then a courier rushes into the hall,
crying eve are all going to be murdered:
London is all blown up! The tower is de-
strOyed The Queen is dead, and no one is
safe.
Everyone IS panic stricken. Uncle Sam
forgot to smoke; Johnny Bull forgot his
wrath, and disorder reigned supreme. The
man who brought the report had not seen
anything; but the frightened people in the
streets of London, he said, were running
and screaming with terror, as though all
England was about to be destroyed with
Irish dynamite. We could not gain any
definite knowledge of any source, and tie
night was passed in dread and suspense
On the first train in the morning num-
Der of us went down to see the wreck.
There was nothing talked Of on the train
or on the streets but the terrific explosion.
We soon learned that the Queen had not
been in the slightest danger. But the
great ornamental gates leading to West
minister Hall had been thrown to the
ground, and the windows on the north
and south sides of the gimmenSe building
had been blown TO atoms. The leather on
the seats in the building had been cut and
torn, and the hOrSe-hair stutfing was scat
tered in every direction. The great win
dow over the entrance to Westminster
Hall was shattered to fragments, and the
floors were covered with broken glass and
masonry The lobby of the House of Com
mons in the Parliament building was com
pletely destroyed. The strangers gallery
was thrown down. A chip was taken from
the speakers chair, and Mr.. G. ,,istones
chair was in SplinterS. The western eX-
tremity Of the building was o complete
wreck.
But the tower was the most perfect ex-
ample of the power of dynamite. The
doors were completely destroyed. The ex-
plosiye substance had played mad pranks
Nth the many hundred stands Of arms,
twisting the rifles into the most fantastic
shapes, and scattering them into wild con
fusion.
Londoners who heard the explosion de-
scribe it as most terrific. 1t was an awful
shock, striking at the heart of English
pride and power, and resOunding through
every land and cline with warning notes.
Returning to Blue Ridge the details of
the explosion were commented upon at
great length. Each guest had some theory
to advance as to what would come next,
and why this atrOciouS crime had been
perpetrated.
''It all comes from this COMPOUNDED agita-
ton that Patnell is keeping up" said the
duke, as we were enjoying a comfortable
kalf-hour by ourselves in his rooms
81 do not believe Parnell is to blame.
The Irish people think they can only OBJ
tam a hearing in some such wa,'. If En-
land would deal candilly with the Irish
people as she does with Canada and her
other colonies, men would never resort to
such desperate means"
Talking about that explosion yet?" ex-
claimed Colonel Haynes, as he came into
the room. Pm glad my home is not in
England"
You'll be having the same trouble in
the United States before long" I said, iii
your careless way of disposing of public
lands continues"
Il did not know we We're careless. Our
laws are liberal but well Defined" said the
colonel. ''No one can buy our lands OF
the government in large tracts, and the
great West is reserved by homestead and
presumption laws for actual settlers only.
Surely that is a safe policy"
'Ha, ha," laughed the duke. care you
an American and know so little of the do
lngS in your own country? Why, own an
estate or ranch, as it is called there, larger
than any one man owns IN England; all in
one body, too! And surrounded by barb
wire fence, that is proof against every
thing, even your boosted homestead and
presumption laws!'
GLOW did you get it?" asked the colonel
amazed.
why, | bought alternate sections of
railroad lands, and then sent in different
| names as settlers to enter pre-eInptiOn,
! homestead and timber claims to secure the
| government sections"
''But they must be different men," pro
| tested the colonel zone man can pre-
/ empt only eighty acres, or, if a soldier, one
hundred and sixty. So, how could you get
| a whole section"
ooh. see you are not a politician" said
| the dple, much amused. you have not
| yet learned the ropes, as they say in your
| country"
mo, confess 1 am not initiated" said
| the colonel
| You seem to know the workings of the
| ring" l said turning to the duke.
| Yes, | was interested. Many of the
! politicians in America as elsewhere allow
| gold coin to cover doubtful points. II
| you should go to Washington and examine
| the records, you would, if you could trace
| it out, find millions Of acres held by ficti
| cious names. Then, too, the railroads,