davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
A POOR SPECIMEN or A JUDGE.
He Was Cross Eyed and Bed Headed and
the Yankee Was Astonished.

He Was Cross Eyed and Red Headed and
the Yankee Was Astonished.
Noman in the state had keener ap-
probation of humor than the late Judge
T. Lisle Dickie, who served many years
as a circuit judge before being elevated
to the supreme bench Of the state. Al
though he had rich fund of anecdotal
lore concerning the prominent members
of the Illinois bar, he never related a
good story of any of his fellow lawyers
with keener relish than the following in
cident of which he was the hero. 1t is
necessary to full appreciation Of the
story that the reader should be reminded
that Judge Dickie was cross eyed to an
intricate and marvellous degree, and also
gifted with brilliantly red hair.
The story is as follows:
81 had been out shooting prairie chick
ems down below Ottawa, and was return
ing home on the public road along IN
the afternoon. 1t was hot and l had
already tramped far enough to get thor
oughly tired out, and, as it was several
miles to town, was anxious to catch q
was lightning rod outfit.
Friend, can you take passenger
said l.
''He looked at me suspiciously. Per
haps | looked even more cross eyed than
usual without my store clothes on-at
any rate he seemed, at first, of mind
to drive on without me. But he finally
stopped his wagon and condescendingly
remarked:
"'Yes; you can pile on back there,
top of the rods and ladders
Il gratefully accepted that privilege
and we rode on in silence until we
reached a wayside watering trough.
The man dismounted, unlocked a pail
from beneath the wagon, and proceeded
to water his horses. Meantime the pro-
prietor of the premises came out to fill
his own pail. He knew me well and
said:
"'How d do. Judge. What luck have
you had shoonng|
'As the word Judge fell from his
lips | noticed look Of astonishment on
the face of the Yankee lightning rod
man. The fellow was bolstering up the
pail of water with his knee to a height
from which his horse could drink with
out unchecking, and his astonishment
was so great that he let his knee slip ont
from under the pail and splashed the
front Of his clothes.
"'Didn't that feller back there at the
waterin trough call you Judge? inquired
the Yankee, as soon as we had started
on.
Eyes I replied.
"'What be you Judge of, a hoss racer
he exclaimed. turning back to take a
second cCntemptuOus inventory of nv
personal charms.
"'No; judge Of court replied.
"-What KIND Of a court?
"A circuit court was my answer.
'Waal-down east, where / come
from, Il took considerable of a fellar
to be circuit judge! How big's your
circuit
1t reaches from the Wisconsin line
as far south as PEORIA again replied.
Lifting the hickory stick of his drov-
er's whip he sent its long rawhide lash
twlrllng In 8 succession OF coils above
his head. which eliminated in a crack
like the explosion of pistol.
Ny goodness, I'll settle in this
country myself if they make such man
as you judge! exclaimed the disguised
Yankee. Ii was mis- final 6ictum. He
did not offer 10 exchange another word
with Inc. We parted in silence at the
outskirts of the town" Chicago Mail.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
Reckoning By Her Time.

"Hold the baby, please; I'll be back IN
lust minute" said she. Ten, twenty,
thirty minutes passed. Baby awoke and
yelled as if seven ghosts were after it.
Taking the child, he went to tind his
wife.
"She isn't here" said the neighbor.
"She has gone to the dressmaker's. But
she left her parasol here and said she d
call for it in just a minute. Have
chair"
Thanks" Baby screaming, head
thrown back, face red, eyes shut, back
stiff, kicked off one little red shoe and
made its mouth and hands go. Half an
hour, no wife. He carried the baby to
the dressmaker's, where he was told:
"Your wife isn't here. She has gone
to the milliner's. But she left dress
pattern here and said she'd call for it in
Just minute. Be seated"
Thanks"
He trotted the screaming child on his
knee. laid it on It's back, rolled it over
on its stomach, tossed it in the air,
stuffed handkerchief in it's mouth and
hummed 1--WE Won't Go Home Till
Morning" He asked for rattle box,
but the dressmaher got mad and said
she wasn't married. Half hour. no
wife. He took the child TO the milliner.
who said;
"Your wife isn't here. She has just
left for home. Oh, what cute httle
mouth; that child has been crying"
"Hain't it!' He started for home and
met his wife on the street. Tossing the
child into her arms he strutted away,
muttering:
"III be back in just minute"
"Chicago or New York time, dearP
"Your time!" he thundered.
That was two years ago and she hasn't
seen him since Chicago Herald
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

The frosty appearance of glass which
we often use when it is desirable TO keeT
out the sun or for a protection agains
inquisitive eyes. is brought about o.
using paint composed as follows:
Sugar of lead, well ground IN oil. sp
piled as other paint. then pounded Will.
fresh with a wad of batting. held be
tween the thumb and finger. after whici
it is allowed to partially dry. Then wit
a straight edge laid upon the sash yoJ
run along By the side of it with a site.
sharPened to the width of the line yoi
wish to appear between the diamonds
figures or squares into which you choo,.
70 lay il off.-Detroit Free Press
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

Fashionable note paper includes pale
paper itself Is quite plain, makes no AZ
tempt a. Sraamcat sRd only gains effect
By rs oEu bsaUs.fu! color Sometimes Tie
-ta lsft corner al u alrs PAPER hzs "a lTni
sati5u dogs r-r CA evb.eh 3 pretty hia1s
c. red moncg. - trll -scssel- some e..
0Ecd eorre~lo- 1e cards show geld
edge and srn-ls iE-Eizis, aud are now Fnas.=
il the lone sSs7a ~~s< erveiaurs - match
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

REAT BRITAIN,
whose M artial
drumbeat daily en-
circles the globe
with a rhythmic
girdle, and whose
realm includes the
untamed hordes
of barbaric east
ern peoples that
from time un-
counted have been
at war with west
ern progress and
civilization, ought
to be able to fur
nish the humdrum
world with a hero
nOwaDd then even
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
4 Little Brute.

Nearsighted LadY-Tue boy who
trying 70 os 1hag tn can 10 that po
dogs tail ocsh; "a he tl.--lei VIII
sn iEch Of ais hfe-,4- a0-rid L,
brute
Maii-It's your boy, mann.
MY bow
"Xes, mum"
Tell MIN if he'll stop I'll give hin
= cake. Good News
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
Nlllii Eagle

Taking butter from milk
was known in the earliest
times. 1t was left for our
time to make a milk of cod
liver oil.
Milk, the emulsion of but
ter, is an easier food than
butter. SCOTS Emulsion of
cod-liver oil is an easier food
than cod liver oil. 1t is rest
for digestion. 1t stimulates,
helps, restores, digestion;
and, at the same time, sup
plies the body a kind of
nourishment it can get in no
other way.
SooTT BowEE. Chemists I,, South 9Th hAvenus,
New York.
Your druggist keeps SCOTS Emulsion Of eod-lives
eil-all druggists everywhere DO. 81.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
Demands of Society.

The Cook-Oi jist KEN in, mum, to tell
yez thot Oh won't be home to cook ther
dinner this afternoon, bein as Oi wur asst
be Mrs. Jimson's coolinary lady to foive
o'clock tay to meet tn Jimsons' new Eng
lish butler, what's jist kim over on ther
Cephalonia.-Boston Beacon.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

In the line Of eating the Manchus
who have ruled in China since its con
quest by them some $50 years ago. are
strongest in baked meats. The Chinese
excel ia slEi&
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

Old French forts are being sold verv
cheap. A French artist has bought the
Fort du Guesclin for about 81. 100. They
go from a 'pw hundred 10 81 Geo
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21

When Baby was sick. we gave her CSs.oriA-
Ehe1 she was Child. she cried for Castoria-
Then she became Miss, she clung TO CastoriA
when she had Children. she save them CastoriA
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
A NEW HERO IN INDIA.
TIE EXPLOIT OF LIEUTENANT
GRANT IN MANlPUR.
He Marched Against the Hostiles with
Only Eighty sepoys and Grappled with
Foes by the Thousands, Winning at
Every Point.

IC1pyright, 1891, by American Press Associs-
tion. Book rights reserved.1
The Wichita daily eagle., 1891-11-21
Our Thanksgiving
Edition

VIII be thing of beauty and
will be loaded down with the
most toothsome dainties of
Thanksgiving Literature.
There will be an original
Thanksgiving story by Olive
Harper, together with much
other appropriate matter and
artistic pictures flat viii
Make Y9'!Y Mouth WatGrl
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07

were arranging their departure. Miles
was sitting in the parlor when Miss Beck
entered. Seeing him, she drew back,
and was about to withdraw, when he
babe her stay a moment.
"You must excuse me-" she said. II
do not care 10 hear any sarcasm tonight;
don't believe I could stand it. am
very wretched on my fathers account
He has been victimized and is now a
pauper."
And are you not wretched on your
own account he asked.
"Please don't gibe me now" she
pleaded.
He arose, and, advancing toward her,
said: Zone of my grandfathers was shot
for desertion and am no better than he,
but love you-love you"
He caught her in his arms, and she,
weeping on his shoulder, sobbed: "This
will make that poor. old man happy
again, for he knows that love you
-ArkdnsQu TraUeEer.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
NOT FOR THREE HUNDRED
THOUSAND.
BY OPIE P. READ.

At watering place in Virginia there
arrived one evening puffy man of mid
die age, and his daughter, rather at
tractive girl, although there was a self
conscious air about her-an air of sud-
denly-acquired wealth. Her fathers OBJ
iectionable air was not merely self con-
seriousness; it was a vulgar inclination to
brag. His introduction into society at
the hotel was not sought by society; it
was a clear break on his own part. A
number of gentlemen and ladies were
seated near the end of a shaded veranda,
discussing a book that had achieved an
almost instant popularity, when the puffy
newcomer brusquely showed his way
forward, and in loud voice blurted out
his opinion:
81 amt read the book" said he, ''but
I'll bet that it don't amount to much.
There is more humbuggery in this here
book business than in most any other |
know Of Books'u do putty we'll for
women, but in my opinion man is
throwing away his time with 'em. had
a twin brother that took to books along
back when he was boy, and although
he was bright feller-as bright as
was-he never amounted to much.
had to take up mortgage on his place
for him not more'n six months ago.
That's about what think of books" He
leaned back against the railing of the
+'banisters" and surveyed the party with
the satisfaction of a man who has carried
his point and who is thoroughly pre-
pared for any subsequent attack. The
ladies, especially the better. natured ones,
smiled; the men, with one exception,
laughed. The exception was young
lawyer from Nashville. He looked with
the inquiry of dlsapproval at the IN
truder, and then quietly remarked:
al thought of writing a book,
charming romance, but through fear that
might possibly compel you to take uE
another mortgage, will forgo the pleas,
ure of self enjoyable composition.
The interloper, no wise abashed, re.
piled: ''Its good step you're takin',
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07

daughter, nor for his determination to
give her future husband two hundred
thousand dollars"
my dear fellow" Miles answered,
81 don't blame him for thinking so much
of her, and / commend his determine
ton TO reward her future husband, but
do despise his vulgar show. He is an
old bear, and want none of him"
al wouldn't mind marrying the girl, "
said young fellow named Hicks; AZ
could put up with the girls possible bad
taste aud with the old mans vulgarity.
Yonder go the old man and the girl. He
is looking this way, and warrant he is
telling her about you, George"
~ don't care if he is" Miles replied.
ellis in-will and her prejudice can't hurt
me-"
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
IMMENSE HAIL STORM.
One Hundred Miles Long and From
One to Four Miles Wide.

One Hundred Miles Long and From
One to Four Miles Wide.
Reports have just been received of de-
structive hail storm which passed about
twenty-five miles north of Aberdeen, South
Dakota. The track Of the storm extended
from Hosnler, forty miles west Of Fred
erick, eastward for over 100 miles, and
was from one to four miles wide. In some
places great damage was done while
in others it was slight. Hailstones or
immense size fell near WeStport some meas
uring fourteen inches in circumference be-
ing picked up after the storm. Marks can
be seen in the roads where the hail struck.
Many farmers lost entire crops of from fifty
to hundred acres each. The crops along
the line of the storm were excellent.
The same hail storm swept over the west
ern part of Dickey County and portion OF
Mcpherson County, South Dakota. In that
county a strip three miles wide by twelve
long was swept over. Stock on the ranges
was stampeded. AT Westport, in McPher-
son County, bad state Of affairs was re-
ported. Thousands Of acres Of grain that
promised an abundant yield were said TO be
ruined.
A destructive hail storm passed through
Norman County, Minnesota. The area
covered by the hail storm was strip
about two miles wide and thirty miles
long On the majority of the farms IN
the belt the crops were entirely destroyed,
and the farmers have no hopes of saving
ANYTHING. Hail outside of this belt did little
damage It was estimated that at least ZOOO
acres were ruined. Those fields were good
for twenty bushels per acre.
A terrific hail and wind storm, fully one
mile wide and several miles long. visited the
north portion of Waltham township Min
nesota, and ruined everything in its path:
The damage will aggregate thousands OF
dollars.
A severe electric storm passed over OF
tawa, Kan, doing much damage TO fruit and
shade treeS.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
Excursion Trains Wrecked.

A cablegram from Paris, France, says:
A collision between excursion trains occurred
at st. Maude, in which fifty persons were re-
ported killed and three carriages wrecked.
Both trains were returning from a music
festival at Fontenoy.
The second train r--shei into the proceed
ing train before the latter had left the st.
Maude station. The guards van and the
three rear carriages of the fast train wera
wrecked and caught fire from the gas.
The injured occupants were Shrek
ing i'll dispair and the other passengers
hurriedly lefs the train and assisted in extri-
eating the victims. Soldiers also aided the
fire brigade to quench the flames and rescue
the sufferers. The work of helping the in
jured was carried Oh by torchlight
A dipatch from st. Mande about midnight
says that sixty persons were injured. and
that fifteen dead bodies had been recovered,
including those of two children who were
mangled beyond recognition. Most of the
dead victims are legless, their limbs having
been crushed off through the jamming to-
gether of the seats
Fully 10000 Onlookers were at the scene
Many relatives of the victims assembled at
the railway station, and heartrcnding scenes
were witnessed as the victims were extricated
from the wreck. The driver and fireman OF
the second train were burned alive.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
RAILWAY TRAGEDIES.
Fatal Accidents to Crowded Elk.
curSion Trains.
Over a Score Killed and Wounded
In an Ohio Wreck.

An excursion train, crowded with en-
Fioyes OF the Dayton Cash Register Com
pany, was run into by fast freight train at
Mlddletown. Ohio. just after 10 O'Clock on .
recent night The three rear cars of the ex-
cursion train were overturned and wrecked.
Seven persons were killed, and more than
twenty were seriously injured, many OF
them MORALLY.
Those on the excursion train hal been
treated TO a picnic by their employers on
Woodsdale Island, a popular resort on the
Great Miami River, about four miles north
or Hamilton. The train was a long one and
it was after 9 o'clock when it started on the
Cincinnati, Hamilton and Dayton Railroad
on the return trip to Dayton. The train was
stopped at Middletown to let off some excur-
sionists who lived there.
All the passengers on the heavily laden
train, many Of them young people were
laughing and singing. They were very
happy. Suddenly, while the excursion train
was still waiting at the station, a freight
train, running at a high rate of speed,
crashed into the rear car, blowing its way
along three cars full of people before it
stopped
The excursion train broke a drawbar while
pulling on the siding, and in the delay Of re-
pairing freight train came along and ran
into the next 70 the rear coach. The rear car
was packed full of people, and the freight
plOwed into mass of broken cars and dead
and crippled human beings.
Reports OF the wreck spread like wildfre,
and the depot soon filled with anxious fami-
lies awaiting friends from the fated train.
Ambulances and patrol wagons were ordered
to the depot to transport the injured to the
hospitals or to their homes. Two coaches
filled with people were wrecked.
Nearly all the people in two cars were
injured, some of them being frightfully
mangled. Many of those fatally hurt were
cared for at Carlisle, which is nearer the
railway station than Middletown.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
coNcERN1H' SOME FOLKS.

coNcERNIN SOME FOLKS.
Some folks is allers grumblin'. no matter
what they've got.
A fndin fault with what they have, an
wantin' what they've not.
An you'd think, to hear 'em kickln' an
cussin' Of their luck,
That the worlds a bad investment an the
Lords gettin' stuck;
An it riles me up to hear 'em a-complalnln'
all the time,
With their measly misconceptlon OF the
works O the Sublime.
An it sets me to rehectin' on the merits of
the case
An a drawin' OF conclusions appertainin' to
the race,
Till Pve sorter got to thinkin' thatit's sinful
to complain,
That there's Jest as much of pleasure as there
ever was o pain;
That there amt no more to cuss about than
what there is to bless,
An things air pratty ekally divided up, l
guess;
For when you strike balance 'twixt the
shadder an the sun,
The two will alters ekallize when all is said
an done;
An the world is balanced even, er 1t
wouldn't spin aroun',
For the hills'n fill the hollers when the thing
is leveled down
There's another old time doctrine, an I've
found it mighty true,
That you never get thing without a-losin
somethin' too;
That there never was a gain without a cor
respondin' loss;
That you're not agoin' to wear a crown un-
less you bear the cross.
An when you see a pint in life, the where
you'd like to get,
You NAV make it soon er later, but you'll
pay fut it, [ bet.
a man may get the larnin' Of the sciences an
SIGH,
An another deal in futures an may strike
it sudden rich,
But tie first has lost the peace of mind that
once he used to feel,
An the last has lost the relish of the hard
earned honest meal.
An when you see feller's got things extra
nice,
You can gamble that fur all he's got he's
paid the market price.
An if your life was figured out, PH tell you
what my friend,
You'd find it balanced just the same his'n
at the end.
Then quit your fool complainin' ana studyin'
how to shirk,
For the time you spend in cussin' you can
spend IL work.
Things do take on bilious look, at times, l
must admit,
But kickin' an complainin' won't help the
thing bit.
An the clouds that come a driftin' by III
vanish one by one,
An a-peerin' from behind 'em is the glory
of the sun.
There's as much of sun shadder in every
drap O dew,
There's as much OF day darkness when
you take the year all through;
There's as much of sun as shadder in every
human heart,
An of day an night in every life you'll find
an ekal part.
An should there be a residue stan'in' either
way,
The Lord'H make it ekal on t'other side,
some day.
Albert B. Paine, IN the Epoch.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07
Wrecked by a Cow.

a suburban excursion train on the Chat
tanooga Rome and Columbus Railroad met
with a terrible accident beyond Mission
Ridge, Tenn. The engine was ahead of the
train, but running backward, when it struck
a cow, which turned the engine completely
over on its side
The fireman, Lewis Potts was buried be-
meath the engine, and killed. Engineer
Thomas Burchcll was injured about the head
and shoulders.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07

THOUGH the foods that have occurred IL
some of the Western States have destroyed
rnuch prope~ty the storms accompanying
them have rendered it improbable <hAi
drought will injure the grain crops this : ear,
and therefore 70 the majority Of farmers 10
those parts of the country the outcome VIII
be beneficial.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07

THE Chicago Trade and Labor Assembly
have passed q protest against Mr. Samna
.Gompers being reelected President OF IN.
American Federation. Mr. Gompers hai
filed the Office eight years
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1891-08-07

It was rather late at night. The Recks
The record-union., 1891-11-27

THE news from China is very discour-
aging. Outrages upon foreigners con-
tinue unchecked; missions are burned
and their inmates murdered; foreign
quarters are raided and the people driven
to refuge in ships; property is destroyed,
and the sword and brand flourish in
many precincts. 1t would seem that with
all its boasted strength and courage the
Tartar Government stands fearful and
paralyzed before the native mobs 1t de-
clares that the outrages are chargeable,
Mongolian robbers, who make sudden
dcscents upon the cities and towns. This
is apuerile excuse, and will not avail; and
if it be true, still the Government appears
to be too fearful to check the massacres or
punish the murderers. True, it is said
bodies of troops have been moved into
the murderers have accomplished their
work The truth is that the Tartar EN-
peror is in terror; the result of Chinese
revolt against his dynasty is widespread
and deliberate, and its purpose is to force
the Imperial ruler to such defense of for
eign residents as will furnish the rebels
such apparent proofs of foreign influence
and interference, as will influence the
people and turn them en- masse against
the crown. The Human rebels are re-
solved upon the expulsion of the for
eign devils" and boldly proclaim it; the
army division in Human is at heart SYM
pathetic with the rebels, and cannot be
trusted to enforce the law or afford pro-
lection to foreign residents or their prop
erty. The strangers must have protection
from their own, and unless it is speedily
extended. we may expect to hear of fur
ther massacres, pillagings and expul-
sions,
The record-union., 1891-11-27

OF the metropolis, there was delightful
performance; all went smoothly, and
there was neither hitch, friction nor un-
toward happening. Indeed, it was
affirmatively remarked that not single
incident occurred to mar the pleasure and
success OF the performance. Now for the
truth. Two of the performers tumbled
twenty feet from trapeze and were in
Jured. One man had his ankle seriously
hurt and is laid up; another had an arm
broken; another shoulder dislocated,
and still another his wrist broken. Is
this what the San Francisco reportorial
force calls a pleasurable performance,
without hitch, friction or untoward Incl
dent? Are all the other news reports as
truthful and reliable in the San Francisco
newspapers?
The record-union., 1891-11-27
newspaper

The news from Brazil is gratifying.
The new President is satisfactory to the
people, martial law no longer prevails,
quiet is restored. and Congress is about
TO reassemble. We shall now very soon
ascertain if this body is really so domi-
mated by English iniuence-as is charged
-as to work the abrogation of the reci-
procity treaty with the United States.
There are grave reasons to fear that such
will be the action taken.