davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
THE GERMAN BARBER.
He Explains in Detail the Qualities that
Make a Man shave Well


Almost any one can be a barber,
can't hep"
"Mein gollyI' said the German bar
Der, you must dinIx because anybody
can be reborter dot effery peezness is
der same way, alretty. Goot BARRIERS is
like hens teeth by gale of Wind.
hard to find like the dickens"
What makes a good barber. any
way?"
"Vell," the barber -eplied. ''der first
ing Is to git shop init goot acoustic
properties so dot a choke will sound
funny in all barts of der blaze der same
time. Der negst ding is that a goot
barber must got SPLENDID memory TO
SAT up all der best dings vot he hears.
He must haf, right away quick. a judg-
ment fine like der dickens to find ovid
der minute vot a choke begins to de-
compose, like Long Island City. After
dot, a first-class barber must know init
vot customer he can make himselluf
funny. Dots der deeference bedween
me und der monkey barber by der
negst chair. alretty.
II can make humbugs der whole
uHU ii a AiAhu NOlbS a III a
pig hurry / can keep him quiet till he
gifts hair cut und shampoo. But dot
crazy loonadicks, which is my assistant
by der negst chair. he will more likely
git a plack eye sooner as he will sell a
cake of soap"
What has he done now?"
Done now? Vot has he done since
der whole of der time he vos born. al
retty? We haf fine eustomer-a fifdeen-
cent customer init pay rum-which we
dink is Mr.. Pradley. der boss by Asbury
park. We wont to find ovid if il is him,
sovot you dink der monkey barber says?
He says to dot man, der day behind
yesterday:
IF vos Pradley.' he says, 4 would
catch der morals of the summer visitors
und sbrinlxle 'em NIT chlorate of lime
to keeb 'em sweet Dots vot he says.
der crazy CLOWN"
what did Mr.. Bradley say?"
II don't know il it Is Pradley, tell
you. He simply reblied dot der drubble
abowd catching boobies morals vos dot
nopoddy has got some morals excepting
himselluf IN V Sum
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

Many good story is told of school
where the boys are. remarkably con-
scientious. One day the principal was
lecturing them on the subject of clean
illness, and asked: rs there any boy
here who has not taken a thorough
bath this morning?" One lad only. a
pattern of neatness. pleaded guilty.
You, Harris" said the teacher. Il
am surprised"
Il tried, SIR" said Harris, stoutly,
but there's one spot under my Shout
der-blade that I'm not sure / touched.
SO / can't call it a, thorough bath. ~
Youths Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Barrinp out Refueees.

OTTAWA, Ont, Sept 2s.-The gov
eminent has received information that
the destitute Russian Jews who have
been pouring into the United States
from Europe through Canada are to be
returned TO Canada, and in view of this
the dominion authorities have been
urged to the necessity of taking immedi-
ate steps to prevent these pauper immi-
grants landing in Canada The minis
ter of agriculture drew attention to the
possibility of the government returning
these destitute people to Europe if they
are sent back to Canada by the United
Statas
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.

IN England the valley of the Dee was
inundated so that only the hedge tops
were visible.
NATIVES attacked French mission
station in Portuguese Guinea and'killed
ten Portuguese.
On the Russian frontier passenger
trains collided between Golacsoury and
Wolbrom and the cars were shattered
to splinters and ten persons were killed
and many injured
In the townships of Tadousac. Berg
eronnes and Escoumins, in Canada, four
rich mica mines were found
THROUGHOUT Turkey Asiatic cholera
was spreading and hundreds were dy-
ing daily.
THE whole population of villages in
the government of Astrakahn, Russia,
was dying of want, and the parents
were said to be eating their dead chill
dren.
In Spain an express train running
between Burgos and San Sebastian coll
,ided with a mixed passenger train and
twenty-four persons were killed and
many others were injured. Several
entire families persisted. including the
Judge of Victoria and his wife and
daughter.
On the coast of Cape Breton the ship
Camelia was lost and Capt Harvey,
his wife and child and nine sailors were
lost
PERU advices report the murder of
four American explorers on the river
Marathon. They were Californians pros
pecting for gold.
In Russian Poland twenty-eight
farms with all the cattle and stores
were destroyed by an incendiary fire.
TUE recent census shows that Paris
contains $500 resident from the Unit
ed States
ONLY 600 buildings remain standing
at Consuegra, Spain. There were z, 100
before the floods.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
PIacating a Highwavman.

A highwayman confronted a traveller,
and. covering him with a frearm,
shouted: Your money or your lifel"
my good friend" said the traveller,
according to the terms of your demand
my money will save my life. my life my
money; you imply that you will take
one or the other, but not both. If that
is what you mean please BE good enough
to take my life"
THAT is not what mean" said the
highwayman; you can not save your
money by giving up your life"
Then take it, anyhow" the traveller
said IF it will not save my money il
is good for nothing"
The highwayman was so pleased with
the travellers philosophy and wit that
he took him into partnership, and this
splendid mbination of talent started
q newspaper. News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
short on silver Dollars.

WASHINGTON, Sept. 2s.-Owing to
the fact that the coinage of silver dol
lars was by law stopped July Except
that of the trade dollar bullion, about
IS, 900, 900 in all, which is now in prog
RESI-, the shipment from the mints of
standard silver dollars now depends al
most entirely on the amount of silver
certificates Of treasury notes presented
for redemption. In the absence of
ability to ship silver dollars the depart
ment, in response to acquisitions for sill
yer coin, is sending out large amounts
of fractional silver coin as the most con-
venient substitute for the silver dollar.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
ACROSS THE CONTINENT.

Millionaire Mackay Breaks the Record
Between San Francisco and New York.
New YORK. Sept 29.-At 1886 o'clock
a m, Monday the private coach Grass
mere. containing John w. Mackay, the
California millionaire, and Miss Fair,
daughter of Senator James G. Fair, and
a sister of Mrs. Hem Oelrichs, rolled
into the Grand Central depot at
tached to the fast mail over the New
York Central & Hudson River railroad,
having made the fastest trip on record
from San Francisco to this city. The
actual time of the trip after counting
the difference of time between the two
cities was four days, twelve hours and
twenty-eight minutes. This beats the
record of Herman Oelrichs, who in
August last made the trip in four days.
sixteen hours and ten minutes.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Explosion of Dynamite.

CHICAGO. Sept 2s.-With a concus
sion that broke the glass in windows
for blocks and that lifted street car
from the tracks, 100 pounds of dyna-
mite exploded Sunday afternoon.
The accident occurred at Thir-
ty-fifth and Iron streets. where
work is in progress for the Thirty
fifth street tunnel Though the explo-
sion was SO great as to damage build
ings a considerable distance away, half
a dozen men who were at work within
a few feet of the dynamite at the time
escaped uninjured What caused the
explosion is a mystery.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

HoLLANDALE, Miss, Sept. 90. Sat
urday night a coiored woman named
Lou Stevenson called John Davis
(whlte bartender) from a saloon, and
while she engaged him in converse
ton a negro named Grant White
appeared on the scene and shot
Davis, killing him instantly, without
provocation. White fled, but was cap
tured near Way Side and brought back
to the scene of the murder. The in
furiated populace hanged both White
and the woman, Lou Stevenson. to a
railroad bridge near the town during
the early hours of Monday morning.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Into the River.

CHICAGO, Sept. 90. = Two persons
were drowned in the river at Washing
ton street Monday night A coupe
carrying three persons plunged into
the open draw and only one was
taken out alive. The eabman, Ru-
fus Terry, of 576 West Lake street,
and Miss Carrie Green (coloredl. II
North Leavitt street, were drowned.
John Sheldon. of 571 Fulton street, the
other occupant of the carriage, was
rescued. The bridge had been opened
to permit a vessel to pass, and the
driver was unable to check his horse in
time to prevent the disaster.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

THE total value of exports of mer-
chandise from the United States dur
| ing the twelve months ended August
81, 1891. was 5000, 264, 43s. The value
of the imports was $685., 1883. 24l.
HENRIETTA MURRELL (colored) was
hanged at Smithville, Va, for the muir
der of her child.
A FIRE among warehouses in Phila-
! ieiphia caused a loss to Jessup Il
Moore and Phillips & Cunningham of
$500, 600
A HEAVY wind at st. Louis blew
down several buildings and many
fences
Miss MATTE REYNOLDS. Mrs. Mer-
rift and Miss Alma Kohlheim were
killed while driving at Marietta, Ga.
by their horses running away.
The annual convention of the Amer
lean Bankers association will be held
in New Orleans November IL and IL.
Lou STEVENSON, a colored woman,
and Grant White (colored) were
lynched by a mob at Hollandale, Miss,
for the murder of John Davis
Morris cider refinery and storage
houses at Rockville, N Y, the largest
in the country, were totally destroyed
by fire. Loss, 100000.
ANDREW ANDERSON, Martin Nelson
and a man unknown were drowned by
the capsizing of a rowboat near Ash
land, Wis
ADvIcEs from China report that the
riots in the interior continue, and that
pirates had attacked villages, and in
one instance drove out the inhabitants
and burned the houses.
A MARBLE statue of Pope Leo MIL
was unveiled at Washington.
The forest fires in Wisconsin, Min
nesota and the Dakotas have been
checked by rain The losses are enor-
nous and hundreds of families are
homeless and penniless.
A CARRIAGE containing Rufus Terry
and Carrie Green was driven into the
river at Chicago and both were
drowned.
The checker championship games,
twenty-five in all, played in Chicago
by Charles f. Barker, of Boston. and
j. p. Reed. of Chicago. resulted as fol-
lows: Barker, 5; Reed. o; drawn, Fl.
Mrs. MARGARET INSTEAD died at La
Porte. Ind. aged 1O2 years. She was
born in slavery in North Carolina
A TRAIN with John w. Mackay, the
/ California millionaire. Miss Fair,
daughter of Senator James e. Fair,
and others ON board made the trip
from San Francisco to New York in
four days, twelve hours and twenty
eight minutes, beating all previous rec
! ords by twelve hours.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

A SOUTHERN genius is credited with
the discovery that a very fine article of
sugar can be made or distilled from
The lOuE-despised cotton seed The
product is claimed to be fifteen times
the strength of an equal quantity of
cane sugar and twenty times the
strength of sugar made from beets.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Barker Defeats Reed at Checkers.

CHICAGO, Sept 29.-The. checker
championship games, twenty-five in
all, with fifteen openings, were con-
cluded Monday evening in the rooms of
the Chess and Checker club, No. ITO
La Sale street Two games were
played during the day. The first was
drawn and Barker won the second
with the white side and Dundee
opening. The final score was: Barker,
5; Reed, 0; drawn, 81. Charles +.
Barker, of Boston, the winner of
the tournament, defeats j. p.
Reed, of this city, for a purse Of
81 600
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
A Village Burned.

The village of Comstock. Barron
county was nearly destroyed by fire.
The fire caught from the forest fires in
that neighborhood Comstock was near
the city of Cumberland, which was in
great danger. If no rain fell soon there
would be still greater loss of proper
ty, as it was an impossibility to stop
the fire, everything was so dry.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Shot q burglar.

Burglars effected an entrance into
w. ii. Smiths general store at Eau
Claire through a rear window. An In
dian doctor living in the basement of
the building heard the men moving
about, and lying in wait for them he
caught one of the robbers making his
egress through rear window. The
doctor fired his rife and the robber
fell, MORALLY wounded, shot through
the stomach. His companion escaped.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

THE late Bishop Caldwell of India,
had been in charge of the great Tin
nevelly mission just half a century.
having been appointed thereto three
years after his first arrival i'm Madras
The mission now embraces SIS villages.
10000 Christian adherents, and 46
Clergy. chiefly natives
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

CHICAGO, Sept. 29.-During riot
among dock laborers at the Western
Transit Company's shed Monday Jo-
seph Bales, colored youth, stabbed
and instantly killed James Kelly, a
white laborer. Bales was pursued by
Kelly's friends for several blocks and
escaped being lynched by being taken
into buggy and driven to the Chicago
avenue police station. Several shots
were fired at the fleeing murderer and
one took effect in his right arm. Sever
al others who joi' ed in the chase were
hit by bullets, br none were seriously
hurt
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

THE largest check ever drawn in
this country was that given by Jay
Gould to Thomas Allen for the Iron
Mountain railroad He paid -. 900. 600
for il and handed Allen a check for that
amour Allen looked at the paper and
said: Isn't this a good deal of money
for one man 10 have in one bank?'' Il
don't know" replied Gould per
haps il Is Let me have the check"
Allen then handed the check back to
Gould and he handed il over TO his
Office boy, saying: Here. boy. take
this check 10 the bank and have the
cashier certify to IT," And the boy
went out and did IL
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

A VERY formidable war vessel is
about ready To fly Uncle Sans eOlors-
She is the monitor NiantonOmoh, is
a59IS feet long. and carries in two
double turrets four ten-inch rifle guns,
the most effective ship guns we have
yet turned out She is helted with
twelve and One-half inches of steel and
iron, and sits low in the water She Is
intended for harbor defense. and will
justify confidence in her ability to
make a good fight against the strongest
iron-clad tina. can he sent against her.
She has two amiable sisters, the Puri-
tan and Terror
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

BosToN is the only city in the world
which preserves an exact record of the
proceedings of its common council
Every motion, argument and remark,
no matter how unimportant, Is stem
geographically taken down The mem
tiers are, therefore, very careful OF
fhnir rffnrancns
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

The telephone does not often develop
such an interesting romance as that
which occurred in Chicago recently. 1t
is owing 10 that instrument that Miss
Wheeler has discovered a brother whom
she had not seen for twenty-five years
in a telephone directory she CHANGED
upon the nan'e OF ". ". Wheeler. Those
were the initials Cf her long-lOst
brother. With a spring TO the phone
she rang him up" and an hour later
brother and sister We're elasped in each
others arms The telephone. as rule,
is a very matter-Of-fact instrument.
but il must be admitted that il brought
about decidedly romantic incident,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

THE amount of money now raised by
the New York Grant Monument asso-
citation il S15i.2IS.s9. This will be
enough to pay for building one story of
the monument The committee has APP
proved the proposition 20 remove the
present temporary tomb of the dead
general and place it ia the position it
Is u occupy permanently as soon as
the concrete work of the foundation is
completed 1t Is proposed tn move the
sepulcher intact without disturbing its
form or contents, and to place it where
subsequently, the crypt TO contain it is
To De, built
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

A GIGANTIC tunnel, which is esti-
mated to cost $50, 600 and require ten
years to finish. Is being constructed in
the Leadville mining district for the
purpose of draining the mines 1t will
be at least five miles long and will,
when completed. leave to easy access
millions of tons of good ore that can
not now be properly got at and prob
ably never can be handled without the
use of proper DRAINAGE.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

THE Youngest married couple in
Connecticut, probably, dwell in the lit
tie country hamlet of Sterling. among
the Windham county hills They are
Mr.. and Mrs. c. Fenner. lie is four
teen years and seven months old and
she is fifteen years and four months
They have been married for several
months
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

CAPT. MARY MILLER the woman
y no managed steamboat on the Mis-
sissippi for seven years and then Sc
cured a government license as pilot,
has applied for the place of lighthouse
keeper on the gulf coast. She is an
intelligent and rather prepossessing
woman Her husband is still an active
navigator and running a steamboat in
the puIf
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Not Deserving of Pardon.

WASHINGTON, Sept 2s-In the cases
of Charles H. Ritter. of Indiana, con-
victed of violation of the banking laws,
whose sentence was suspended, and
w. f. Bernhamer, of Indiana, convict
ed of conspiracy and sentenced TO inn
prisonment for one year and $1,000 fine,
the president has declined to grant the
application for pardon.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

A FARMER in Tennessee undertook to
rid his premises Of fleas by pouring a
crack in his kitchen floor. Sho tly
afterwari he lit his pipe and dropped
the match through the same crack and
the fleas all disappeared. Reinsurance.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

MAN in Augusta, Me, who is the
proprietor of a hair tonic, is getting up
some testimonials to spring upon the
suffering public. One of his friends
who loves a joke sent him this very
sweeping Endorsement, which may be
printed on the outside of the book COW
er and may not: Dear Sir-A few
days ago accidentally spilled some of
your hair hatcher on the straw mat
tress at my lodgings. and when / re-
turned home / found hair mattress"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Costly Blaze at Philadelphia.

PHILADELPHIA. Sept 2s.-Fire in this
city destroyed property Monday valued
at $500, 600. The losers are: Phillips &
Cunningham. oil dealers; Jessup &
Moore. rag dealers; the Armour Pack
ing Company; Rooms, Schwartz & Co,
grocers; n. X. Fairbank IL Co, lard
and George W. Elkins, hops. Several
firemen were hurt, none fatally.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
No. he Man n. Wa. LOOKING yor.

Man Of the House gquietly. but firm
~, as he presents pistol at the head
of the burglar who has just thrown his
leg over the window-sill you
looking Tor any body?
Burglar with equal nerve)-Yes /
was looking for Mr.. Billtops.
Man of the House (coldly)-Mr. Bill
tops lives in the next bl ock; around the
corner.
Burglar (politelY. as he takes his leg
OF the window-siIll-Ahl pardon me
IN. Y. Bun
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

OUR gold coins are allowed with silver
and copper, chiefly the latter. Copper
alone Is used to alloy our silver coins.
In both silver and gold there are nine
parts pure metal to one of alloy. Our
nickel coins are three fOurths copper
and one of nickel. The one cent is
ninety-five per cent copper and five of
tin zinc
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Gaye Ihem Arsenlc.

ST.. LOUIS, Sept 2S.-Mrs. Otto Heb
erer, wife of well-to-do butcher. gave
her three children arsenic and then
took dose herself and disappeared.
Her body was found in vacant lot
The husband says his wife was insane,
but neighbors deny this and say the
act was caused by jealousy. The chill
dren will probably recover.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

$3.50 o'clock Fri
day afternoon.
He at tie nd e d
the First Pres
byterian church
la st Sund a v
and was taken
i'll in the even
ing, but he was
not considere d
in a sc ri o u s
condition until
Tuesday. Iii
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
SWEPT BY A TORNADO.
Northern Minnesota Partly Denuded Of
Timber by the Wind.

THIEF RIVER FALLS. Mimi, Sept. %.
"A hurricane swept through northern
Minnesota Saturday night, strik.
ing the Red and Rock lake
lumber regions. The tornodo
struck Beltrami county and passed
in northwesterly direction into Itasca
county, spending its force near the
Manitoba line. 1t is estimated that
$50, 900, 900 feet of timber was destroyed.
The country was sparsely settled with
woodsmen and it will not be known
for several days whether or not any of
them were killed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

LYONS anatomist has examined the
skeletons of eighty-six monkeys
chimpanzees rillas and Orang-outangs
and has found diseases Of the bone to
be as frequent as in man, and of a
strikinglV similar character.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Melting Iron by Electricity.

Mr.. Alvin Dings, electrician at the
Allis Reliance works in Milwaukee, has
discovered system by which iron can
be melted by electricity. 1t is now not
improbable that some time in the near
future the iron melting process at the
extensive Reliance works will be gen
orally performed by this means.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01
Murdered Their BABY.

Edward Popke and his wife, of Sey-
mour, we're each sentenced to one
year in prison for causing the
death of their baby by cruel treat
ment when it was scarcely three hours
old. They had pleaded guilty. The
wife is only about Is years old. They
committed the deed out of sheer bru-
tality
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-10-01

EDWARD b. GILES, of London. the
editor of the West End Gazette, as the
guest of the banquet given by the as
sOciatiOn of Master TailOrs and Custom
Cutters made some very sensible and
telling remarks on that occasion. One
was particularly pertinent. Fashion
should be based upon common sense
and adapted to the climate of the
country and the habits of its people.
None but Americans should originate
garments suitable for Americans. e"
This fits Americans who return from
abroad in the universal misfit suits