The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1891-05-15
THE RICHEST MAN IN AMERICA.
How He Is Viewed Abroad-The NaiE
Quest of Il British Lion-Seeker,


We felt cravirg-a yearnng, a
gnaWing-to see and touch and speak
| with the richest man in America; to
stare at his silver statues and his car
pets interviewer with threads of gold;
and we took passage for New York in
the Brixtonian.
As we landed on the quay an ex-
cited bystander took us by the button
hole and drew us feverishly y aside. .'See
that homely-looking man way long
there. passin' under the elevator,
stranger?n he whispered hurriedly, and
with ill-suppresscd emotion: ''wall,
then. you see the richest man in Ameri-
Cal Came over twelve Years since from
down Kansas way, Whar he was raised;
hadn't a nickel; struck in notion for
a corner in baked beans, and raked in
$4,000, 900 in nine weeks, and eats ter
rapin tartS fried IN hummlng-birdS' fat
to every meal!'
We had found him, then! Breath
! less with excitement we followed him
along the quay and streets, observing
him attentively. He had wooden
lee and one button off the back of his
coat, a large mole on the back edge of
his right ear, and gray felt hat with
I
/ saloon, and we eagerly took seat OPP
posite to him he had one wall eye
and one bloodshot one, seven front
teeth out, and black and yellow
necktie.
Presently he engaged our attention
by excitedly kicking us under the
table.
See that stout man coasting around
the ice-bucket?" he asked, breath
lesslT. ''Whaat? Well, you take it
from me that's the richest man in
Amurriker. bar none. Started nine
wears ago as assistant odd Job hand to
a toothpick sorter down Five Points,
and struck twenty thousand million
dollars in seven weeks, and eats gold
dust sauce with his truflied ostrich
every breakfastr'
We had found him then! We burst
away from the diningsaloon, and
rushed after the party indicated. He
had lost both ears from frost-bite, and
had one shoulder four inches higher
than the other, and a green cutaway
coat patched with sacking. He had
not gone three blocks when he turned
suddenly in the utmost excitement and
gripped us by the arm.
.'See that fence-rail of cl.ittur with
the respirator stannin' by the fire.
alarm?" he asked. lyon bet that's
lust the richest man in Amurracky, SO
he is, boss! Went down Frisco way,
without Il RAG on his back six years
come next Independence, and banked
$4,000, 900, 600 in five weeks. Sleeps
in bedstead cut out of a single dia-
mOnd and sends his boots to be heeled
wrapped in 81, 100000 bills"
We thought we couldn't follow that
man; he had hare-lip, and pants
made out of Old carpet; but we aban
doned him, and inquired of a hotel
clerk who was the best authority on
the subject of the richest man in
America. The clerk told us to go to
the editor of the Spread Eagle, in
979th street, over the Naphtha drink
ing-saioon.
ave hear" we said, that you. sir,
are an authority in the matter of the
richest man in America?"
s.I'lI tell you about him right away"
said the editor. ~'.I'll give you the
outlines of him; and then you can buy
file of the special editions of the
Spread Eagle, which have three col
umns devoted to him daily. The rich
est man in America, sir, is Groulter
@. Vanboom, who set out from Grub
squash City, Kas., with , cents sewn
in the heel Of his boots, and coffered
forty thousand million dollars in three
weeks. He was the man that grassed
Elisha J. Vennerhezzet over the White
Daylight Cherub's Blush Silver Syndi-
cafe boom, down Groggs country,
California, when Elisha was prospect
ing way down there, and Elisha is now
the richest man in America. 1t was
-, he who came the mean thing upon
Chaldea Y. Bloobder about the cotton
, oil scare-you've heard tell about
Chaldea V. Bloobder, the richest man
, IN America? Why, it was about that
man that Silas j. Seeker, the richest
man in America, used to say"
!, Then we left, and slowly cooled
Z down toward the richest man i'll Ameri-
, ca. Then we took on tracking down
the tallest thing in railway swindles
and the quickest-grown out west city,
= and we are on the track of nine OF
5 each of them.-Fr0D1 London Fun.
= New Wrinkle in, Picture Frames.
8 The new picture frames of oak or chest
= nut shaded by the rubbing in of umber
from light at the inside to dark at the
= outer edge are. the latest fad in their
| line. They are especially effective when
e used around tinted print of a shade
nearly matching the edge of the frame.
f 1t is predicted, however, that they will
soon become too common and go out
of fashion. Some dealers in New York
f won't put such frames on pictures sold
e by them at all, claiming that the style
| violates artistic taste. At one dealer s
\ a still more striking frame is having
a run of popularity. 1t is of broad
r oak with real bars half an inch thick,
n colored to look like iron, set across it
= from side to side. Imitation hinges on
d one side and real-looking paddock on
b the other increase the resemblance to
the barred door of a cage. With a
t picture of the head Of lion or other
b beast behind it the effect is startling,
Y if not strictly artistic.-Nea0 York Sun.
a Miss Leoline Daniels, Of Athens, La,
i L..