davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

ing Uncle Tom in a brutal way each
evening and settling for him at the box
Office. Several almshouses have offered
to sign for the season, agreeing TO fur
nish as high as twenty Uncle Toms each,
provided their names are not used. The
manager thinks it VIII be great card.
He will also discharge the Little Eva he
had last season and engage her daughter
in-law in her place. His former Little
Eva viii celebrate her golden wedding
in September.
Mr.. Shucknasty Pete. a survivor OF
the Wounded Knee affair, who barely
escaped with his life By being in west
ern Montana at tie time, viii continue
70 appear at Kohl & Middleton's muse
I'm in Chicago with the exception CT
two weeks about Christmas time. when
he VIII appear and eat pounded glass on
the North Side for the benefit OF the
Worlds fair sufferers
Messrs- Barney & Bradley VIII start
in next season with their renovated
Uncle Tom company, supported by an
entirely new folding deathbed for Little
Eva
The eighty-thir1 annual benefit FOX
Little Petite, the child violinis: CT South
east Haddem, viii be held g. the school
house north Of town in July. /. VIII
include reading from Browning and a
CREASED pig race.
Messra Early & Bird owners o. the
-S:nged Cat" a tTavssty On the opera Of
~TuSi Fruit" have scored a SUCCESS
They cleared SO. 600 during the season.
hat VIII not produce il nex: year owing
70 II health They Offer their scenery
for sale in another column Also two
good theatrical trunks, one vslise and q
parro:. neither Of which has been dam
aged 20 speak o.. The ad- referred 10 is
signed Reduced Circumstances, care Of
this otfice.
Larry DoEan, who cast gloom over
the community last SEASON by crushing
the skull Of his adversary II a two round
90 a. the Palace rink. viii star il -'All
the World Agin Him. taxing the title
role CT any otcer role thai Is not riveisd
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
BILL NYES ANCESTORS.
THEY WERE ENGLISH, HENCE WILL
lAM'S SENSE OF HUMOR.

BY tho Way, Any One Who Wants Some
Theatrical Notices Address Edgar w.
Nye, This Omce-He Knows His Bust
ness-See Samples.
Copyright, 1891. by Edgar w. Nye.1
LAWRENCE, Kan, March "A, 1891.
Mr.. Edgar w. Nye:
DEAR SIR have for some time been
= reader of your esteemed illusions"
enjoy them weekly, and sometimes all
the week. have at times noted your
replies to correspondents and your dis
sertations On heredities, genealogies, etc.
/ want to make some suggestions and
inquiries. and l kindly ask you not to
strike back. do not intend to be per-
sonal.
) Last summer l took my outsides to
Europe. We were ten days on the voy-
age across the water. was much in
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24


"Ah! going to sea? That is good" ex-
claimed Heiberger joyfully. "And you
want complete outfit, of course? I'll fit
you out elegantly"
Il want the best this time, because we
are going to have lot of society and things
in foreign ports"
Very well. III make you look like an
admiral"
And the usual arrangement goes?"
Certainly
The usual arrangement" 1 afterward
learned, was an order on the navy pay
Office here for certain percentage of the
lieutenant's monthly pay, running through
the whole three years he expected to be
away on a cruise The lieutenant said he
would take the whole bill of fare, which
the tailor began to describe:
A dress suit, frock coat, blue trousers,
chapeau and helmet, epaulets, sword. belt
and sword knot This uniform must be
worn on all occasions of ordinary ceremo-
ny-in boarding ships of war, in making
| the first visit in port to commanding
! officers, on parades of ceremony with en-
listed men under arms, and at Sunday in
/ spection, except on the first Sunday in the
month"
And what must be worn on the first
| Sunday of the month";"
why, the special full dress, which is
| Ike the other, except that the coat is a
swallow tail cut. This must be worn on
occasions of special ceremony. and at the
general muster the first Sunday of every
month"
/ And the rest?"
The full dress suit. This is different
from the others in that it is open in the
front. The trousers may be the same, as
also the sword. epaulets, etc. This uniform
/ Is worn on occasions of ceremony like the
others the commanding officer designat-
ing the suit IN the orders of the day. Ii is
employed usually in making the first visit
/ in port TO officers of dag rank, and on So
clal occasions TO which officers are invited
in their official capacity, and at which even
/ ing dress would be expected"
Suppose you should be invited. as an
individual, to bail in foreign port" l
said 10 the lieutenant, what would you
wear thenf"
Ny social full dress uniform" he re-
Piled. which would be simply my full
dress uniform without chapeau, epsulets
| or shoulder knots, sword, belt or sword
knot, and with plain blue trousers. Be-
fore doing SO, however, l should have to
gain the permission of my commanding
officer. II the ball or reception was not of
an official or ceremonial character | could
so IN an ordinary evening dress suit, which
reminds me that need one, and nav as
well order il now"
And as 20 the undress and service
suitss" suggested Mr. Heiberger
"Oh, must have them too. of course.
You see" the lieutenant explained, "orr
undress uniform requires another coat,
though it differs from the dress chiefly in
the fact that we wear no epaulets with IL
and the gold bands on the cubs are not so
broad. We wear this suit with either
white or blue trousers. and with cap or
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
Boiling 1t Down.

Editor Mortimer Clugston, formerly
of the Doodleville Yelper, but late of the
BoomvilIe Thunderbolt, sat in his sane
tum engaged in severe mental strug-
gle with poem that lay on the table
before him. 1t was written by young
lady who signed herself MAY Belle" and
was to the effect that they cannot choose
but wait at the old familiar gate, going
home; the words are low and sweet, but
the old gate is discreet, going home.
Long they linger, long they stand at the
gateway, hand in hand, going home;
what the words so sweet and low only
they and gate do know, in the gloam.
GOOD night" Good night?' they say,
but all the longer stay, going home; till
darkness hides from sight Of gate and
all their last good night, in the gloam,
etc.
Editor Clugston did not like to lose
that poem, but there wasn't room for it.
If it went in he would have to cut down
the notice of Miss Phoebe Gays millinery
opening, every line Of which was worth
ten cents in solid cash. All the space he
had left for that week was just one inch,
and it would be time to go to press in
five minutes In this emergency one Of
those flashes of inspiration that mark
the man of genius came to his aid. He
seized his pen and wrote:
"Miss May Belle sends US beautiful
little poem which we have not space to
insert in full, but which is too good to
be lost. We have condensed it as fol-
lows:
"1Iust wait. at gate-home;
Words sweet, gate 'screet-gloam,
Long stand, squeeze hand-late.
Words low, don't know-gate.
TIA ta!" so longl'-back;
Real dark, hides-harkl Smack!'
Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
What is

Castoria Samuel Pitchers prescription Infants
Children. 1t contains neither Opium, Morphine
other substance 1t is harmless substitute
for Paregorc, Drops Soothing Syrups, and Castor OIL
Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years. by
Millions of Mothers Castoria destroys Worms and aays
feverishness. CastOria prevents vomiting Sour Curd
cures Diarrhoa and Wind Collie. Castoria relieves
teething troubles, constipation and fatuency.
Castoria assimates the food, regulates the stomach
and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas-
tora Children's Panacea-the Mothers Friend.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

to tlreproof building. de is rehearsing
his lines studiously at present at the
Inebriates' Home on Long Island.
Miss Birdie Coonpelter, who has acted
as the Bearded Lady during an unpar-
alleled series of years, and with wonder
full success, shows signs, it is said, of
yielding to the mental strain, and in Oc-
tober next will shave and retire perma-
nently from the stage. A farewell op-
portunity will be given in September for
American breezes that have not done so
to blow through her rapidly silvering
whiskers. She estimates that over
5000, 900 people at least have been de-
lighted by her genius. She is very anx-
ious to quit the stage before her mind
breaks down.
In card to the public Mr.. Stetson
acknowledges that he has no proprietary
right in Hamlet" He says he only
claims the authorship of a few of the
local gags. The play itself, he says, is
the property of Mr.. Palmer.
Mr.. Napoleon Musser, who possesses
the wonderful gift of being able to sus-
tain blow of 800 pounds on the top of
the head, has scored success this sea-
son. He practically has the field to him
self, and hopes to retain it for years TO
come. He says he notices no falling off
in the stage, and will write an article for
the Pan-American Review on 1.-The Past,
Present and Future Of the American
Stage" He will have benefit in mid
summer, at which he has asked DIR.
Holmes and Mile Christina, the Two
Headed Nightingale, to appear.
Other stage notes for future issue
will be gratefully received and printed
if o. Ked by the counting room of this
paper.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
Like Ysetar., zIk. sahjse..

hose picture Is that inquired al
eaE-s-a arts; Ia far western cabin. dis
covering well executed portra&s hang
irs CO the wall IA dz-k cs-ner.
That's my husbands" aid the vorn-
an q .he hoase czrsIessly.
"Bz. i. - hang with fatal egsc. =
urged TIE artist. who remembered tia
G:s q his frs: pic.ures IA tLs asadeny.
40 was ny hzzeana.@ mapped ths
wosa2n, And tie arts, discontinued "a
ceserTzs1Osls.-Ds:Eo.. Froe P.esA
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

Total ........................... ---A
You can readily see that times have
materially changed, when about the only
one Of our family now in England Is
chimney sweep, and with no dranght on
the royal aues al that We feel II keeniy,
Mr.. Bowersock, and you cannot wonder
that we are, as a family. little soured,
especially regarding royalty Times, OF
course, may change. AID with his dem
ocratic freedom and practical notions the
Prince of Wales, upon aoceiing 10 the
throne. might give our family access a.
the same tine 20 TIE chiuaneys o. the
royal house, thus making the Nyes once
more identified with his uslexys SCOT;
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

tons. A variation of hairs breadth in
the width of cuff band, or in the distance
at which one button is placed from another,
gets our customer into trouble"
And as to the little bill of three hun
dred odd which l now owe you, Mr.. Hell
berger?" inquired the lieutenant.
Don't worry about that Perhaps you
will have that much left out of your pay
when you come back from your cruise.
Then We'll square up and start over"
ROBERT GRAVES
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
Whites Great Head.

''Our young friend Wizzie must be i'm
proving rapidly. He tells me he has many
compliments passed on his poetry nova
days"
Yes, While has taught his parrot to
cry How beautiful What feeling' and
so on, every time he reads one of his poems
aloud. "-Munsey's Weekly.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
A Little MISUNDERSTANDING

"You expect me to eat such beef
steak as this! One ought to have a hogs
stomach
Waiter calling to the kitchen)-A hogs
stomach for Mr.. Mayer!-Fliegende
Batter,
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

helmet, as ordered by the commanding Of
ficer 1t is the uniform we wear when re-
porting for duty, when serving on courts
or boards, except boards of survey, and
when calling officially on foreign officers
other than commanding officers"
"And the service dress?"
"This is the least expensive and most
comfortable of all our uniforms. It con-
sists of well made blouse of navy blue
cloth or serge shaped to the figure, blue or
white trousers, blue cap or helmet, as Or
dered. We wear this at all times when
one of the other uniforms is not required
by regulations. If we are on duty with
enlisted men under arms, or away from
the ship, we must wear the service sword
belt with sword. II we are On watch the
sword must be at hand, within easy reach.
Ii we are ON duty with the naval brigade
or landing party we must wear leggins.
We usually carry two service suits, and
sometimes three, when starting On long
cruise. We also take along three or four
white duck suits for use in hot weather. In
addition to all this we must have cut
away suit, such as I am wearing now,
Prince Albert coat, boots, shoes, linen,
cravats, underclothing, hose, gloves, hand
kerchiefs and the deuce only knows what
all"
"You forget your overcoat," suggested
the tailor.
eyes, there's the overcoat. And 1 shall
want a cap, and gray helmet, and extra
sword belts, and while you're at it, Hell
berger, you'd better make me an extra
cutaway and two undress suits. One
won't last me till get back"
"And how much is all this going to cost
the lieutenant Mr. Heibergern
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
A Drum mer's Remedy.

One night this spring. On train CON-
ing east on the Enc road, the porter Of a
sleeping car aroused half dozen of the
male sleepers toask If they had anything
with them TO cure case Of the cohc. 4
drummer for city hardware house
fun bisd around IL his coat and fnall J
said:
"Here's box Of soda mints which NAV
help him. He can use the whole BOX and
be hanged 30 him, for he's no business TO
have the cohc"
Nothing further was heard Of the case
until morning, when a s.rappang young
man, with a far west look 70 ms hair.
came into the Sleeper with the min. box
in bis hand, and inquired for the drum
ner and said:
Took EN- al bu. one. and they
smashed ny colo right in the eye. How
much 20 payS
Nothing, CIR. I'm only TOO glad 70
have been Of service 20 you
When the other had gone the drum
ner opened the box and We saw his hair
ryinz 20 Climb up.
Great Scott, boys: bit what do you
think &c gzsped-
VIVA. Ia ~
- gave him tie wrong boz, and he's
swallowed eleven bone cola, buttons
New York Evening World
Particular.
Don't let nas deprive you Of Jour
seat, shs said, as be rose.
Don't mention IL, madam. I: iz-'t
mine, anyhow; il belongs 20 Re Rad.
said ha-E@-pe-'s Baza-.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
CastOria.

ssCastoria is sowell adapted 70 children that
recommend i. Us superior 10 any prescription
known to me-"
II. A. ARCHES, ". n,
III Sc. Oxford St, Brooklyn, y. Y.
"our physicians In the childrcu's depart
ment have spoken highly OF their expert
ence in their outside practice with CaStoria,
and although we only have among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
products. yet We are free to confess that the
merits of CaStoria has won US u look with
favor upon it,"
UNITED HOSPITAL AND DIsPESsARy,
Boston, Mass
ALLEN c. SMITH, Pres.
array Street, Now York City.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
AID vice.

Doctor-You are in very bad way.
You must take plenty Of exercise.
Patient-Please, SIR, I'm 'elp in a
boardin' 'ouse from in the mornin' till
II at night.
Doctor-Ohi In that case take plenty
of rest.-Judy.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
ParffeoIxy-
sv~e. Simplicity.

aoshs--A-s you 10. afraid O. Caring
II the hose al alons with uu1.es
Young Hopetul-So. a BAT; there's a
se-zean. ALWAYS comes 70 r-o;sc, u
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

ONE DOLLAR A DAY TO REDUCE WEIGHT.
terested in the signs upon the business
houses in London. So many Of them
bore the talisman more likely the legend
or fiction), 'Purveyor to Her Majesty"
or ''His Royal Highness the Prince Of
Wales" or "Her Highness the Princess
Maud" In gilt letters on all sides were
the names of royal toothpullers, old
clothes buyers, chiropodic artists, etc.
Riding along Walton street, in an aristo-
cratic neighborhood, of course, saw in
modest letters:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

"I1et me see," said the tailor, while his
lead pencil was busy on sheet of wrap
| ping paper. "The full dress coat is $50, the
trousers $25, the chapeau $50. the belt S15,
| the sword SIS. the sword knot S.. so and the
epaulets SIS. Probably you are surprised
at the cost of the epaulets. Every one is.
But look at them. They are of solid gold
that is, these seventeen tassels are made
| of fine spun gold, and the frame is made of
gold alloy. You can buy epaulets up to
$500 pair. They all come from London,
where one man, Starkey, spent a million
dollars in building the plant for making
this gold wire. The late Admiral Porter
paid $3.50 for his epaulets, and then didn't
think them fine enough.
But, to go on with the inventory, the
social full dress coat is $54, the trousers S25
and the vest 50. The undress coat is $50,
the trousers SIG and the vest 50, or SS4 the
suit, and as you want two suits that will
be S16S. Your service suit is S36 for the
blouse, SIS for the trousers, 50 for the vest,
or $50 in all. Two suits will be S120. Three
white suits of duck at $40 are S120. The
overcoat is $780, Your black evening dress
suit is So. Your two cutaway suits 500.
Your Prince Albert S65. Your cap s.. so,
and your gray helmet $3.50. If my figures
are right the total is 81, 03650."
"a pretty big bill, suggested.
eyes, but not as big as we sometimes
have. Last week an officer spent 81, 800 in
uniforms alone. A few years ago we made
an admiral's full dress uniform that cost
him an even 500 as he stood in it at a
White House reception. His full dress
coat was 5175, one of the finest garments it
is possible for the sartorial art to turn out
His epaulets were 500, his chapeau so, his
trousers S45, his sword knot $40, his sword
belt 500 and his sword $780,
''This is rather expensive tailoring" con-
tinued Mr.. Heiberger, 'for several reasons.
First, the material must be of the best that
is made; the cut and fit must be perfect.
Then the work is of a particular character.
Everything must be just So in order to
answer the requirements of the regula-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
A Choice.

$50 yez has an order " arrest for Mrs.
Mcguire, an yez proposes TO take me
wild yez- Young man. allow me TO az
how yez intind goin' along wid me; is il
IN an ambulance O. IN umnAutsy-Lila.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

worries and frets and runs and plans more
than he. The philosopher who wrote that
CLOTHES make the man" must have had
the naval officer in mind. What would the
officer be without his uniform7 The
commonest clay. He would also be good
share of his pay in pocket every year If the
powers that be would permit him TO dress
as he pleases, but they won't, and there's an
end of it. My friend Lieutenant NJ,
has just been ordered to sea in one of the
new cruisers. He was, strange to say,
glad to go.
The darling boy has been in Washington
awaiting orders" for three years, and he
has had gay time. Society took him in
and made the most of him, and he made
the moA of it. If one cares to do it, a
social c0Grse may be taken in Washing
ton at very small expense, but my friend
not only accepted invitations to dinner
and attended all the swell receptions, but
asked his fair admirers to box at the
theater. The result was that his salary of
81 900 year melted away like a New Eng
! land snowdrift in April, and his credit at
| his tailor's had become strained. Natu
rally, therefore, was somewhat surprised
when he said to me few days ago:
81 am going over to my tailor's to order
| five or six suits of clothes. Come along"
'B-but 1 thought you said last week
your tailor was looking askance at you,"
gasped, "and now you talk of five or six
| suits at once"
'Oh, that's all right. My tailor will
smile on me now. 1 have been ordered to
sea-"
So went with him to Heiberger. Hell
berger is the army and navy tailor here.
He has a monopoly Of the officers trade in
both services, and having been at it for
| forty-one years has managed to accumulate
snug fortune. The officers all say his
prices are reasonable, and they never think
of going anywhere else, though some of the
figures which l afterward heard fairly took
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
FITTING FOR A CRUISE.
WHAT IT COSTS A NAVAL LIEU
TENANT TO DO THIS,
In the Matter of Clothes the Officers of
Our Ships Must Not Spare Expense.
Involved.
FSpecial Correspondepce.1

LSpeCIaI COffeSpOnnence.1
WASHINGTON, May L.-Many naval
officers have been ordered to sea on the
new cruisers, and the official tailors are
busy. What trousseau is to the bride is
an outfit to the naval officer. No one
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
A Good Reason,

Takes 1000 people to buy
DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy,
at 80 cents a bottle, to make
up $500.
One failure to cure would
take the profit from 1000
sales.
Its makers profess to cure
"cold in the head" and even
chronic catarrh, and if they
fail they pay $500 for their
over-conhdence,-
Not in newspaper words
but in lard ash! Think of
what confidence it takes to
put that in the papers-and
mean it.
Its makers believe in the
Remedy. Isn't it worth a
trial? Isn't any trial prefer
able to Catarrh a.?
After all, the mild agencies
are the best. Perhaps they
work more slowly, but they
work surely. DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets are an actl5e
agency but qniet and mild.
They're sugar-coated, easy to
take, never shock nor derange
the system and half their pow
ser is In the mild way in which
their work is done. Small
est, cheapest, easiest to take.
One a dose. Twenty-Five cents
a vial. Of all druggists.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
M1]!ia Eagle
4 SPRING SEQUENCE.

"A SPRING SEQUENCE.
Here's a vision of the spring
This spring;
Lovely maiden in a swing
Rope swing;
In gown of fluffy white,
/ Swinging like merry sprite;
Rosebuds in her golden hair,
4. Sweet and young and very fair,
h She's vision,
a. Quite elysian;
xss' See her there
All, so fair,
Lolling in her swinging chair,
Rant beauty everywhere!
That today, and this tomorrow;
That the joy, and this the sorrow;
The gown of white
is out Of sight,
: And IN its stead
A feather bed;
And with her nose
She sadly blows
A wistful weird cadenza-
Con moto influenza,
Which almost ends her!
w. j. hampton in Detroit Free Press.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24
CaStOria.

"Castoria is an excellent medicine for chill
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me Of its
good effect upon their children"
DR.. G. c. OsGoop,
Lowell, Mass.
"Castoria is the best remedy for children of
which l am acquainted. hope the day is not
far distant when mothers will consider the real
interest Of their children, and use Castoria in
stead of the various quack nostrums which are
destroying their loved ones, by forcing opium,
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtfui
agents down their threats, thereby sending
them to premature graves"
De-. J. F. KNCHELoE,
Conway, Ark.
Tia Cenfaur C0mDauv. II 4
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

Company II Murray Street, Now York City
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-05-24

P. S.-Have you been masquerading
as a Yankee all these years when, as a
matter of fact, you belonged to the
bloated aristocracy?