St. Paul daily globe., 1891-02-23
SHEKNCWS TOO MUCH
Bah Takes a Shot at the Mod
ern American College
Girl.
The GOlden-Haiped Graduate
Not All That Might Be Ex-
peeted.
Greek and Euclid, and Right
Comprehension Of Kitch-
en- Ranges.
Some Of the Girls Drawbacks
Given a Graphic Turning
Over.


the world. Under no circumstances do
you know anything. She won't even
credit you with having tolerably good
knowledge of slang. and she talks about
"what we did at college" and what we
said at college," until you wish you
could take her toa college of physicians
and surgeons and have some sort OF
punishment administered to her that
would lie painful, but not dangerous.
You can't even make her believe that
you know the multiplication table,
don't after five, SO that she has always
got NE there-but she has snjfty sort
of scorn of the woman who has picked
up her education, and she makes YOU
feel that she was especially created, her
own college specially arranged fol her,
and that her fame as its graduate is
world wide.
haven't word TO say against women
learning all they want, but even after
matriculation there is school for every
human being TO 90 to, and that is the
famous one Of experience. These girls
come out of college with ''know-it-all''
idea, and they suddenly discover that
neither Greek nor Euclid will do so very
much toward making them earn their
own IivingS. nor will a full and complete
history of the lost tribes of israel teach
them how to make an old frock look like
new, OF to do that very delicate art
known as washing the baby. "Oh, hO!'
says somebody. "Bab's of on her same
old fad" Well, yes, am. do believe
in giving girl the very best education
possible, but cannot be brought to see
that that is the education gained in the
college. There have been brilliant
women, women who have made great
success in life, women who are charm
ing socially, who are college bred, but
these are exceptions. These are the
two and three out of three and four hun
dred. Somebody argues: ado make
the bread any worse for knowing the
laws of chemistry?" Probably not. but
do you make it any better? Then some
body says: "Shall l become nothing
but a cook and drudge?" Just as you
fancy. A good cook is usually queen of
her dominion and not drudge by any
manner of means, and good wife, such
as you want your son and mine to get,
is the woman who, when he is sick,
knows how 10 make little dainties to
help cure him, knows how to measure
his medicines properly, and isn't eX-
plotting her chemistry Oh the doctor
while the man whose name she bears is
waiting for his next dose of medicine.
But" says the objector, "can you
cook?" 10 be quite honest | can only
do two or three things well. can broil
a beef steak. and that's more than half
the restaurants in the various big cities
can O,aHd can boil potato and know
Xtrbn &c fn Al Itch n1ot
is going to starve where they can get
these two things well cooked. In
sick room / can mind the doctors Or
ders, and when you can get prOfes-
sional nurse TO do that you have got
jewel. l hope will not make the col
lege bred women throughout the cOun-
try enViOuS of my accomplishments,
but when they yell, LET us have more
culture" | feel like making the welkin
ring 10y the by what is the Welkin?) by
answering them with. Let us have
more broiled beef steaks and boiled po-
tatOes."
Culture is very we'll for the wel-fed
man who can go to sleep over IT, but
hungry man does not want Browning
and Euclid. the Latin grammar and the
Greek testament; he wants beef and
potatoes. Heresy? Of the rankest, but
since we have beaten the force bill. |
feel that | can express myself with
truth and diStinctneSS. It's true that 1
do not believe that woman with the
heart gets far away the better of imam
with the head" and, using Mr.. Tenny-
sons quotations as text. the average
young woman is advised to cultivate a
cool head and a warm heart. Her heart
may be hit now and then, but it won't
be broken. Hearts are cnriously elastic
things. They can be pulled here and
there, rent with anguish so to say, and
then something delightful will come
that will prove an absolute ointment,
and behold they are in better condition
than ever before. Give me red roses
and heart girls! If the average young
man will put that on the banner which
he bears he will get wife who will
love him and whom he will honor and
obey without ever knowing he does it.
Simplicity is earnestly endeavoring to
make itself felt. Pretty debutantes no
longer appear at teas in elaborate ball
gowns, but, instead, high-necked and
Iongsleeved cashmere frocks of soft
gray, pale blue or deep scarlet are
counted smartest. The result will un-
doubtedly be boom in the matrimonial
begin to think that he can, by making a
great effort, dress woman; whereas
before, when nothing was seen but tulle
and chitfron, he doubted whether he
would be able to robe an angel. In
some other ways, too, simplicity is com
ing up. You ask for cup of tea, and
with it you get bit of hot cake, not cut,
but broken by the pretty fingers of the
hostess herself. and she iS-happiest when
she can tell you that she, has made it
herself, This cake is usually a very
plain one, with currants and citron in
it, that abOminable stuff known as angel
cake having been relegated to the man
slonS from which it came long ago.
What is there new? Nothing.
The idiOtic dude still imbibes hour
ishment from his cane, and looks from
over the top of his collar as if he had a
white wall about him.
The so-called swell young woman
still displays her anatomy to the world
at large, doesn't get married, and won
ders that Tom, Dick and Harry don't
want to see more of her.
The matchmaking mamma guards
her little chickens very carefully 50 that
no inellgibleS will come near them, and
the result is that as the years go by
they are seeking whom they may de-
VOur, and find none.
The average business woman is won
dering how the financial affairs of the
world went On before she was born.
The newspaper writer is surprised
that more people don't recognize him or
her when seen on the street.
And the babies, God bless them! are
the things nearest to angels left to US.
Though, by the bye, if the stork HASN'T
brought baby down your chimney,
1oX-terrIer Isn't such a bad thing to
possess-at least, that is the experience
of RAN