Connecticut western news., 1891-03-25

INV oAAAASs SSs Camp Scott there was lot of U. &. sogers. hosstensibly sent out thare to smash the mormons but really to eat Salt vittles & play poker 6 other beauti- ful but sumwhat onsartin games; got acquainted with sum of the officers. Thay lookt pretty scrumpshus in their Bloc coats with brass buttings onto um and ware very talented drinkers, but so fur as fitin is consarned I'd willingly put my wax fggers agin the hull party.
 My desire was to exhibit my grate show in Salt Lake City. so called on Brigham Yung, the grate mogull among the mormins, and axed his permishun to pitch my tent and onfurl my banner to the jentle breezis. He lookt at me in . austeer manner for few minits, and sed:
 Do you bleeve in Solomon, Saint Paul, tho immaculateness of the Nor min Church and the Latter-day Revela- shuns?'
 Ser 1, "T'm on itp' 1 make it pint to git along plesui; tho l didn't know what under the Son the old feller was drivin at. He sed mite show
 You air mario man, Mister Yung, bleeveY sez 1, preparin to rite him sum free parsis.
 II hay eighty wives, Mister Ward. sertinly am marrid."
 How do you like it as far as you hev gotY sed L
 He sed "middlin," and axed me wouldn't like to see his famerly, to which l replide that l wouldn't mind minglin with the fair Seek & Barskin in the winnin smiles of . his interesting wives. He accordingly tux me to his Scareum. The house is powerful big & in exceedin large room his wives & children. which larst was squawkin and hollerin enuff to take the roof rite orf the house. Sum was pretty 6 sum was Plane-sum was helthy and sum was on the Wayne-which is verses, tho sich was not my intentions, as don't prove of putin verses in Proze rittins, tho eff occashun requires l can Jerk a Poim elzal to any of them Atlantic Munthly fellers.
 My wives, Mister Ward," sed Yung
 Your sarvant, marms," sed l, as sot down in cheer which a red-heded fe- male brawt me.
 Besides these wives you see here. Mister Ward, sed Yung, "I hay eighty more in varis parts of this consecrated land which air Sealed to me-"
 "Which?" sez 1. gittin up.
 Sealed. Sir! sealed"
 ''Whare bowts?' sez l.
 Il sed, Sir, that they was sealedl" He spoke in traggerdy voice.
 Will they probly continner on in that stile to any grate extent, Sir?" l axed.
 Sir" sed he, turnin as red as billed beet, "don't you know that the rules of our Church is that 1, the Profit. may hev as meny wives as wants?" .-
 "Jes so," l sed. You are old pie. ain't you2"
 Them as is Sealed to me-that is to say, to be mine when l wants um-air at present my sperretooul wives" sed Mister Yung. .
 Long may thay wavel" sez l, seein should git into scrape eff didn't look out.
 In privit conversashun with Brig ham learnt the follerin fax: It takes him six weeks to kiss his wives. He don't do it only onct yere & sez it is wuss nor cleanin house. He don't pre- tend to know his children, there is so many of um, tho they all know him. He sez about every child he meats calls him Par, & he takes it for grantid it is so. His wives air very expensiv. They alters want suthin & eff he don't buy it for um thay set the house in uproar. He sez he don't have 8 minit's peace. His wives fite amung theirselves so much that he has built 2 fitin room for thare speshul benefit, & when too of lem get intoa TOW he has em turned loose into that place, whare the dispoot is settled accordin to the rules of the London prize ring.
 Sumtimes thay abooz hisself individ- ooally. Thay hev pulled the most of his hair out at the roots & he wares meny | horrible scar upon his body, inflicted with mop-handles, broom sticks, and sich. Occashunly they git mad & scald him with bilin hot water. When he got eny wage cranky thay'd shut him up in "a dark closit, previsly whippin him artex the stile of muthers when thare off, springs git onruly. Sumtimes when he went in swimmin thay'd go to the banks of the Lake and steal all his close, there by compellin him to sneek home by . sircootius rowt, drest in the Skanderlus stile of the Greek Slaiv "I find that the keers of a mafrid life way hevy onto me-" sed the Profit, ''& sumtimes wish I'd renamed singel." left the Profit and startid for the tavern whare l put up to. On my way was overtuk by a lurge krowd of Mormons, which they surroundid me and statid that they were goin into the Show free.
 Wall" sez I, Eff I find individooal who is goin round lettin folks into his show free, I'll let you know"
 We've had Revelashun biddin us go into A. Wards Show without payin noth. in!' thay showtid.
 "Yes," hollered lot of female Nor monesses, ceasin me by the coat tales & swingin me round very rapid, "we're all goin in free! So sez the Revelashunl'
 "What's Old Revelashun got to dc with my show?" sez l, gittin putty rily. "Tell Mister Revelashun." sed l. drawir