davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
ONE OF LINCOLN's JOKES.
A Homely Illustration That Is Appli-
cable to Existing Conditions.

cable To Existing conditions.
1FiontEe Mirdukee Wisconsin, FtJ. i2.
One of the bits of wisdom which Lin
coin crystalized in a humorous form is
worthy of attention at this time. In the
early days of the war; before the country
was ripe for emancipation as war meas
urc, delegation Of Chicago clergymen
waited upon President Lincoln at WASH
ington and urged him to issue proclama-
tion abolishing slavery. The President
listened to them attentively, and then
asked the apparently irrelevant question,
Call sleeps tail a leg and how many
legs will the sheep have?"
"Five,' answered several of the clergy
men unreflecting chorus.
NO." replied lincoln; mot five, but
four, for calling tail leg won't make it
leg"
The point which his story illustrated
was that proclaiming slavery abolished
would not abolish it; that the institution
could be ended only by the exercise of an
Executive power backed up by arma-
ments greater than the Federal Govern
ment then possessed.
The profoundly philosophic witticism
of Lincoln is strilingly applicable at the
present time as an answer to the vision
aries who claim that by calling eighty
cents worth of silver dollar the Gov
ernment can give to the metal twenty
cents worth of value which it did not be-
fore possess. But this is thing which
governmental proclamation can never do.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

IL THE INTERCHANGE of journalistic
amenities, the New York World is seldom
If ever surpassed. Just now il is engaged
in little dispute-a purely one-sded dis
putc, however-with the Eeening Post as
to who first attacked Senator Quay and
brought against him the charges which
the Senator on Monday denounced as ma
licious falsehoods. In endeavoring to
secure for itself this distinction the World
says:
The Erening Post says that it made the
charges against QUAY which that person
pretended to answer on Monday. If the
Evening Post means by this that il first
made the charges or that it did anything
INIT repeat the charges first made by the
World; or that it, and not the World, ap-
pretended QUAY and procured the evil
slence of his guilt; or that its tardy abridg-
ment of the Worlds charges first con-
vinced the country of their truth, then
tho Eoc'i,,g Posts statement is as untrue as
anything that QUAY himself has said.
OF course, none of those who believed
the accusations against Senator QUAY in
the first place are likely to believe other
wise now. Mr.. QUAY has denied those &C,
cusations very vigorously, but after all
the question remains one OF mere as
sertion on one side and denial on the other
Those who wish to think i'll of Mr.. QUA,
will continue 10 do so. Those who have
no prejudice against him will probably
accept his statement as conclusive. The
Ero,iHg Post, Times, Heard and World oi
New York are mistaken in saying that
Mr.. QuAy's denial possesses no force. Or
the contrary it possesses exactly as much
force as their charges, So long as Mr.
QuAY kept silent he was at a disadvantage
for there is species of confession in 81
lence under accusation. But, now that
he has retorted with point blank denial
offering the lie direct to his accusers tn,
case seems to be one of drawn battle
One side charges, the ether pleads no
guilty. Neither proves anything. Th'
public will believe as they vote.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
A Shot at American Fiction.

America has as yet produced only one
great writer of romance and no great
novelist. Yet she may be legitimately
proud of her living writers of fic-
tion. She has no Walter Scott, no Thack-
cray, no George Eliot. Neither, it may be
added, has England. In short stories
American writer's are our masters. But
of one thing we feel assured: II is not by
the New England school Of impersonal
realists that the great American novel can
ever he written,
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

Ovn ESTEEMED NEW York World has had
exclusive news from Washington again.
This exclusive news was referred TO in
what the IIorld bashfully describes rs IA
very timely able and informing editorial
ON the subsidy hunters who infest the
Capital" Then there was still further
exclusive news in the report Of Mr..
FrHIAN's attempt to have this very
timely, able and informing editorial
brought TO the attention Of the House.
In fact, the World scintillates with ex-
elusive information. II happens, how
ever, that the subsidy lobby was written
mp fully by CRrIc man and published
in TnE CRITIC at least month before
this exclusive news broke out in the
tPold. OF course this little circumstance
will not affect the Worlds enthusiasm or
temper the fervor of its claims TO ex-
clusiyeness. Why should it2
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

sober gray silk yard and a-half wide, to
say nothing of the male Philadelphian's
broad-brimmed hat. sbad-bellied cutaway
coat, with its Delsartian flaps on the out
side, vibratc with oristocratic pride and
OlnkcrlV lmctiOn.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

Ir CoNGREss does not come to the
relief of suffering people by pro-
viding badges of some kind or other
for everybody great distress will cnsuc.
There is a painful destitution apparent at
every parade of the yeomanry, gentry
and nobility. The intense yearning and
craving for badges is now finding tempo
rary assuagemcnt in those worn by the
illustrious members of the 500 different
orders, societies, and so forth, existing
but this is powerless for the relief of the
G0,000,000 who haven't any badges, not
even button. A national button, with
an adjustable badge with the Bird of
Freedom clawing thunderbolts, to be
distributed with the seeds from the Ag-
ricultural Department or mailed with
the Congressional Record or the Patent
Office reports, would be as oil upon the
troubled waters of patriotism.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

The PHiLADELPHIA PAPERS came in
breathless and pulsating with columns
about tho long and illustrious lineage OF
the WlLIINGs, one of whom has just
snnobled young AsroR with her hand and
heart. When Philadelphia does get
warmed up ON the subject of family"
her pohe.bonnet and white kerchief, her
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

TnE WORLD Is FAMILIAR with the pro-
fessional suavity and official blandish-
ments of manner Of the American book
agent. The lightning alacrity of stalk
has long been the despair of stump
speakers. So long as he confined his
capacity for boring, the nation has been
patient, but now that he proudly rcars
his crest in the lobby of the West
Virginia Legislature and stulfs $50 in
bills into the virtuous rural pockets of the
members as gentle reminder of the
superior quality of the line of goods he is
handling in the way Of school books, that
Legislatures duty is plain. II must pass
an act making it lawful to kill book
agents in season. The shooting ought to
be uncommonly good as thcreis an abund-
ance of game.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

American newspapers imported into that
country must pay the usual duty. Is that
"A discrimination against iirst-class Ameri-
can newspapers?
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

TuE ETERNAL FITNESS of things is seen in
the election of Mr.. KYLE as Senator from
South Dakota. Senator.elcct KYLE is u
Granger. a reference to the dictionary
will reveal how appropriate his cogno-
men is
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
An Intelligent and brave Democrat

AT least one of the ableBt Democrats in
Congress (Mr. McAdoo) is in hearty SYM
pathy with the Administrations attitude
toward Canada, and is not afraid 10 say ".
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

See YOU yon coignc OF the Capitol, yon cor.
ner stonei-- Shakespeare.
No, WILLIAM; not in GRovERs anti-free-
coinage letter.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

0ne-fourth of our entire stock for one
week only. Eiseman Bros, Seventh and
u streets.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

TWENTY THOUSAND ACRES of oil land have
been sold in West Virginia. That is not
all there is.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

THE sTARTLiNG IMPORTATION is convcye
to us in morning paper that New Yorl
10 for cold -
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
The Whisky Trust.

One result of the trouble into which the
secretary of the whisky trust has fallen
has been the publication of news regard
ing the operations of this combine ut
have one prominent member constantly
residing at Washington during the ses-
sions OF Congress. Just what his duties
are and what funds he draws from the
treasury of the illegal organization might
be divulgod by an honest investigation.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

A NEGRO WAS LYYcHED yesterday in Texas
"on general principles" 1t is safe to say
that a tree had something to do with it..
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

GnArpNA IIoAR finds the divided skirt
Of the Force bill inconvenlent for walking
The plank.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18
CURRENT PRESS OPINION.
Iisten, oh Earth.

TfOW INC BOetOH IWttS.
II may be officially announced that the
curriculum at Harvard is now in full
running order, as the baseball elective
is being studied regularly in the gymna-
stun by twenty-five students.
The Indians.
From ne san Francisco Examiner
Secretary Noble appears determined to
undo the work of General Miles and bring
on another Indian war in the spring.
When the Sioux delegation called on him
he superciliously told the chiefs to be brief.
He could not spare much time to learn
the cause of an outbreak that has already
cost 81, 000, 900 and 300 lives, and may cost
several times ms much more IL IL be allowed
to flare up again. The Indian delegates
may be untutored savages, but they cut
their cye-teeth some time ago. They are
not overwhelmed by the magnifcence of
Washington. when we want to talk"
says American Horse, Eve are told to be
brief, and they do not listen. could tell
many more things.
The Rich VS.. the Poor.
From he chicago Times.
Because Vanderbilt wedding occurs at
one end Of street and mother dies of
starvation at the other it is argued that
there Is direct connection between these
events. Because the cost of single one
of 295 diamonds in gift to the Wander
bilt bride would have saved the life Of u
starving woman, therefore thesmany who
are poor must rise against the few who
are rich and overthrow the law which
protects all. There has been surfeit of
such eophistries. They have been the
stock in trade OF visionary would-bc re-
formers who lack the capacity of logical
thought and readily assume that because
two events have been coincidcnt they have
also stood to each other in the relation of
cause and effect.
The Courts and the Press.
| From The Philadelphia Times
1t is high time that our courts advanced
to the theory that ignorance is not an in
dispensablc quality in a Juror; and il
would be well to advance further and &C.
cept the theory that there is safety to
justice only in intelligent Jurors who read
the newspapers, and are equipped by theii
general intelligence to apply the evidence
as legal latitude or limitations, defined by
the courts, shall require. No man who
has not read all about the wrecking of the
financial institutions involved in the
| Work-Pfeifer case can possess q single at
tribute of actual fitness to sit as juror In
the case, for such man must be utterly
unable to read or utterly Indifferent tC
public calamities which spread ruin and
sorrow throughout the entire community
Indeed, it is only in intelligent juror:
that there is safety for defendants against
popular prejudices in such cases, and il
Judge Arnold would sec that "the quality
of mercy is not strained in this case hC
would reverse himself and call for juror:
of universal reading and intelligence tc
give the defendants the fullest measure ol
protection. Above ALL let the courts ad
vance with the enlightened age and blot
ont the relic of judicial darkness thai
makes ignorance ON indispensable quail
ity of the juror. That comes from away
back, and the world has outgrown it.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

Homson--I can't sec why you find 1t so hard
TO meet yonr bills
Dcdway.-I don't; / find it hard to dodge
them.-4tfuRSey.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

First Traveler-Are you married man, sir?
Second Travelcr--NO, I'm nm instance OF the
survival OF the fttest.-Kdte Fields )Fasl-
ingtoa.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-18

~ caught kiss from Ethel Harkins last
night" said Chappie.
"ll0w did that happenf"
''She threw it to her fance. Well, you
know how woman throws. stood right be-
hind her. r.''-Neao York Sun.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
Minnesota's Farm Land.

Figures collected by the Tribune
point to the conclusion that in sale
OF farm lands to ctualfarmers, 1891
has been the banner year in the
history OF minnesota: Local dealers,
railroad companies and the govern
ment land offices tell the same story.
The demand has been phenome-
nal throughout the entire wetsern
half OF the state, from the Iowa
boundary, to the Red River Valley.
The number OF farms sold, the price
per acre and the total acreage
all show a marked volume Of in
crease. A most satisfactory charac-
teristic OF the sales is that they are
in small lots and to ACTUAL settlers
and cnltivators. Minnesota's crop
returns are an advertisement OF the
states agricultural resources, sufi-
Gent to make the land sell itselfWith-
out the aid Of agents. The sharp
demand aud large sales are pushing
up the prices and enabling farmers,
by the sale of a few acres from their
holdings, to secure emancipation
from debt. The prospect is, there
fore, the settlement OF the state by u
thrifty and debtless class Of indie
pendent agricultural yeomanry on
small and we'll cultivated farms-the
most desirable status to which an
agricultural section can attain.
Such a yeomanry is to commerce q
foundation, to society a source Of
energy, and to republican govern
ment pillar OF patriotism and sta
bility.-Minneapolis Tribune.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
A CyClOpaeia for the People.

".loHNsON's UNIVERSAL CycLoPP-
Ola IS q part OF the necessary furni-
ture OF every home, school and Office.
and it is the greatest and best work
ever published in this country or in
Europe. We have had the pleasure
OF examining this work, OF which we
have read so much and have been
led to expect a great deal, and we
will state right here that it is GER
tainly appalling to see the great
amount of information it gives: the
extensive number and variety Of
subjects not embraced in any other
encyclopaedia ever published: Of living
and thrilling interest to every rea-
der in all varied walks of life, from
the ordinary schoolboy to the great
est statesman and most renowned
philosophers and scientists in this
and every other country. We state
only a fact when we say that there
has been better talent and more OF
1T engaged upon this Cyclopsrdia
than upon any other ever published
III any country. We state Il fact
again when we say that this work
has cost the publishers, A. J. John
son x Co., OF New York, more money
tho sny other similar work extant
"a library, however elaborate
otherwise, would be barren and in
complete without it. A college an
academy, Or public school, depriv-
eel OF this prolific source OF knowl-
edge, must ever remain in the rear
OF those thus equipped. The fami-
ly reared without any such adyan-
tageOus instruction must take it's
place in society in Il lower scale of
intelligence than that which has had
daily access to these treasures OF
knowledge. In Il word, all profess
ions, occupations, and spheres OF so
ciety in the present age demand a
book OF universal reference-a want
treated by the habit of general read
ing and the spirit OF universal inqui-
ry. We conclude, therefore, by awar-
ding to Johnson's Universal Cyclic
padia the merit OF truthfulness, OF
unbiased fairness, OF comprehensive
ness, OF Responsiveness, and believe
it to be fully abreast Of the times
and that it eminently meets the
wants OF the period. Address for
particulars, terms, and circulars,
A. j. Johnson & Co., No. II Great
Jones Street, New York, Prin. Nor
NAL School.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
Selling the Property Of Others.

The Philadelphia Record asserts
that there have already been sold
5O,OOO,OOO bushels OF new wheat to
go to Europe during theneXt three Or
four months. This reveals the plans
Of the spectators. They began to
sell farmers wheat before it was har-
vested, sell property not their own,
and sold it on the assumption that
this fall, as heretofore, the farmer
would allow them to put their own
price on his wheat when he got ready
to sell it. AS exhibitors OF gall, the
wheat SPECTATORS beat the record
when they deliberately sell to deliver
within few months half as much,as
we exported during the whole OF last
year. 1t indicates how completely
they regard themselves masters Of
the situation, and the farmers OF the
country. The sellers OF those so,
600, 900 bushels Immediately became
powerful and constituencies conspira-
tors against the prosperity and
homes, if not the 'peace and digni-
ty," OF every Industrial worker and
legitimate business man in the land ;,
and they should be treated as are
thieves and assassins. ThoSefelows
made gigantic wagers that wheat
would not exceed a certain price, and
ut once proceeded TO make the wager
good by using the power conferred
by enormous wealth to depress the
price to the uttermost. Yet there
are people who contend that wheat
gambling is in the interest ofthe pro-
Queer! The selling of that wheat
goes long way towards not only
justifying, but making a Ghritian
virtue OF the issuing OF that celebra-
ted wheat circular a few weeks since.
It may result in teachingspeculatine.
brigands lesson they will not soon
forget, teach them to hereafter sell
their own property only, not that OF
others.-Farn, Stock and Home.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
A Liberal Proposition.

Z Z = G {.
Who has not heard OF that para
gon OF family papers, the enterpris-
ing and popular Weekly Detroit Free
Press? For a generation it's name
has been a household word and it
has become a synonym for all that
is excellent, pure and eleyating in
journalism. It's delightfully."- enter
tanning without resort to cheap SEN
sationalism, instructive without be-
ing prosy or pedantic. Combining
the literary qualities OF the expen-
sive magazine with the bright, breezy
characteristics OF the newspaper,
it leaves nothing to be desired by
the average reader. 1t is looked.
upon as a welcome visitor by every
family who reads itsas Indispensable
and would ON no account go without
it. An enormous circulation of 1875,
900 copies per week Atheists it's won
derful popularity. Recognizing the
fact that there are those who are UNI
familiar with it's SURPRISING merits as
home paper, the publishers offer to.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

OUR CROPS are now soon beyond
all danger of hail or frost. The
weather has been very favorable for
wheat in filing out; we can safe
~ say that it could not have been
any better. The heads are filled to
the very top, with wellformed kernels.
perfect in color and shape. We have
found heads ofwheat having as many
as 50 kernels. Hardly a cell can be
found, that has any shrunken or
detormed grains in them, and it has
seldom or ever been found that the
heads were as large or have as many
Kernels in them as this year. The
butt OF the bundle will be the lighter
end this year.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

DURING THE fiscal year, ending
June Soth, 45,949 applications for
patents OF various kinds were re-
ceIyed at the patent Office, and out
OF these p, BOT patents were granted.
l,I44 trade marks, and $50 labels
were registered. The receipts from all
sources amounted to $1.5O2, 794.
and the expenditures S114a, 500.
This leaves the patent bureaus net
earnings at S31T .292.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

A SEVERE hailstorm, in Benton
county, starting south of Sank
Rapids, moving towards Elk River,
ruined the standing crops very severe
ly. The corn crop was utterly
ruined. In some places the hail fell
from fifteen to twenty inches deep,
and windows on the exposed sides
were all smashed. One monster hail
stone or lump of ice was found
winch measured two feet in diameter.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
Advertised Letters.

Advertised Letters.
List OF unclaimed letters remaining
in the Warren Post Office July 18th,
1891. Ifnot called for within fifteen
days they will be sent to the Dead
Letter Office Washington, d. C.
Anderson c. w. Kivek Anna Eliza.
BergO Ole Arnesen Mortar Ernest.
Honlihan F. j. Meyr Selma.
lialverson Elisabeth McDernlott II. T.. .
Johnson Hans Stenqust Pel9t.
Johnson AttOminc. Snlt ii. j
Burg G.. G. Wickstroni Oi0f Anderson
When calling for above please say
Advertised. j. p EAsroS, Z. NJ
Itch on human and horses and all
animals cured in 3Ominntes by Wool
ford's Sanitary Lotion. This never
fails. Sold by E. f. Whitney, drug
gist, Warren, MINI.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

FARMERS SHOULD not neglect to
stack their grain, and stackit early,
as the grain will blight very easily
while standing in the shock, from
rain and sunshine. Wheat specula-
tors and combines have already
commenced their annual cry OF
blighted wheat in the Red River Val.
ley. They are dangerous customers
and IN nine cases out OF ten they
howl without reason.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

send The Weekly Free Press to them
for the balance OF this year lover
five months) for only 30 cents-a
club OF four for ST. 90 or a club often
for $500. All our readers should
subscribe at once. Send for free sam
pie copy. We will send you The
Warren Sheaf and The Weekly Free
Press for the rest OF the year 1891,
for Is cents.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

HALL AND FlTzsIoMMoNs have
agreed to fight in California fo,.
$4,000. Minnesota found no place
Tor such detestible sport as prize
fighting. 1t was q noble act of Gov.
Merriam to refuse, to let the fight
take place in our state, and an action
which the rest Of the states will soon
initiate. 1t shows his ability to de-
tect fine shades of wright or wrong.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
Half Fare to State Fair.

The Great Northern will sell tickets
to the Minnesota State Fair, Septem-
Der 9Th to 18th, at one fare for the
round trip. St
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20
Thursday, August Goth, 1891.

SWITZERLAND is the oldest repub-
lie in the world. August the 1st she
celebrated her SO0th anniversary
as republic.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1891-08-20

ON FRIDAY last, a hailstorm de-
stroyed 10000 acres OF wheat,
ready for the sickle, in Brown and
Day counties, South Dakota.