St. Paul daily globe., 1891-07-05
JERRY, THE CLOUD CUTTER.

jeremiah Rusk will take charge of the
weather on and after Wednesday next
to-day, says the New York Sun, and
great Improvements may be looked for.
Mr.. Rusk is rapidly but unostenta-
tiously mounting the place of a sub
providence to the farmers, and they will
be ungrateful if they fail TO make proper
acknowledgment at the nominating con-
ventions. By a skillful management of
the weather he may be able
to put the brake upon the
alliance movement as easily as if
it were only a big hay wagon going
down hill; and it seems to be going
down hill. Give the farmers satisfact-
DRY weather. with proper distribution
and proportion of heat and cold. wet
and dry, collar the cyclone, warn off the
chinch bug and the HeSSian fly, and the
crops will be big enough to satisfy the
soul of the farmer and cause him to lose
his interest in alliance recipes for max
ing twice two six. The weather is very
irregular in its habits and Uncle Jerry
will find it difficult to manage; but just
give him ordinary good luck and he will
do well.
The Farwell sheme for making the
sky weep over the thirst of the arid
lands by exploding dynamite from bal
looms is under the direction of Uncle
Jerry. and his eXperimenteTs are expert
menting busily. If lie can give rain
checks, payable upon demand he will
be the biggest man in the United States.
There is a danger. to be sure, that
he may cut such gaShes in the
clouds that rain will fall too cOplously,
but doubtless time will teach him how
to reach the golden mean. So far as the
arid lands are concerned, he appears to
be safe from failure. If his dynamite
rain cOmpellerS fail TO work. he has. or
thinks he has, in the bronze grass a
forage plant that will clOthe the
arid lands and flourish luXurLantly
without rain. Moreover, he believes
that the cultivation of this grass will
make the atmosphere of the arid lands
moister, and ultimately draw down the
rain. So that if he knows himself he
will be able to add the arid lands to the
cultivated or cultivable lands of the
United States. The Eastern farmers
are not anxious for an increase IN the
area of farm land, but the West is shout
ing for more land, ana the secretary of
agriculture will not have to pander to
the exhausted East if his work of recla-
nation is successful. If Uncle Jerry
can annex the arid lands, arid no longer,
W ilG 1dl luilQ VI lllC COuuNl may
be as famous for the achievement as
jefferson is for the Louisiana purchase,
and the farmers will be compelled to ad-
mire him.
Think of what he is doing for the
farmers, any way. His bug hunters are
frightening graSshOpperS and potato
bugs by calling them formidable Latin
names. His seeds are Springing up in
,rl-
few other hopeless urban settlements.
He has taken pleurO-pneumOnia by the
lOOseness of its unmentiOnables. He is
inspecting export cattle, albeit foreign
nations do not seem to care a
copper for the results of his inspection.
He has compiled horse book that no
self-respecting horse can afford to be
without. He is trying, no matter with
what unhappy consequences, to teach
the people to know mushroom from a
toadstool. He accompanied Gen. Har-
ris0n on the denomination train, and
celebrated the department. of agriculture
in many fervid speeches.
There is no hiding such light under
a bushel. Polk and Livingston, Nc
Cune and PETER, Simpson and Kyle.
are not doing half so much for the far
merS as he is trying 10 do. Can they
forget him? Can the Republican party
neglect the man who is taking the
underpinning from the Alliance and
the rain from heaven? The revolu-
tionary sword of his grandfather
hangs in the agricultural depart
ment, but he has beaten that
martial weapon into pruning hook,
which he doesn't use, however, for the
purpose of cutting down the expenses
OF his department. He wants liberal
appropriations, which shows that he is
a faithful Republican, and he spends
them freely in improving the condition
of the farmers. 1t is the fashion to
make fun of the department of agricult-
ure, but fancy farming will do as much
for the farmers as neglecting their
chores to go 10 Alliance meetings.
OF Uncle Jerry's prowess there is no
doubt. He can drive four horses to a
hay wagon, and NOW without SubsOiling
the end of his Scythe. If he wears a
silk hat, and doesn't tuck his trousers
into his bCSlS, it is out of Difference to
Ger. Harrison, who will no more suffer
the secretary of agriculture to wear
overalls than the secretary of
war to wear a sword. No conven-
tional attire can make Uncle Jerry
other than a bluff son of the
soil, who ssprinkles his beard with hay
seed every morning and whose heart is
! true to Hodge. He is the man for the
Alliance, und the mere fact that he
doesn't approve its principles ought to
make no difference. He is the presid-
| ing genius of agriculture, and if the Re
| publicans or the Alliance men don't