The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-03-10
OVER THE. NUTS AND WINE


The average man would sooner pay due. at a
gymnasium than saw his own wood for exer-
cise.-Neto' Orleans PicdBune
n you wish TO he entertaining lust forget
yourself long enough to talk to somebody about
himfelf.-DdHos Ne'us.
Myrtlc--IIe's awfully attentive to her, you
know.
Lilly-IIow far has II gone?
Myrtle--Vcry far, I'm afraid. He held her
pray ayor-bOok upside down at church yesterday,
and I'm sure heard him say "a woman" In
stead OF "amen!'' Housskeepers Weekly.
Tho man who complains about the old minis,
ttcrwho preached SO long that he always missed
mon II 70 short that he cannot get n nap,w0ull
be hard to please IN any community. --BdtI-
more american.
Family portraits OF the Piggsonss Why,
traits OFT"
They've had themselves painted in fancy
dress for a beginning"
Brown--What Is considered the proper thing
In y business ruit in New York this springy
Robinson thing that cost $50 and looks
M though It cost $s"'-New York SM.
City Father (Tammany--a little nervous Mt
his first performance OF the marriage cere.
moDy)-l pronounce you man and wifc-and- =
er-rcmindcd by the rcsoute bearing OF the
parties Of an office more familiar to HIM may
the best man win n!-LiJt.
Emily with expectations)--Aunty, j have
Just finished this picture OF you sitting on the
rock at Bar IIarbor.
Miss Oldgrl very richl--Tl'm very pretty.
How docs your husband like ity
Emily-Oh, Jack says II l. very natural, In
deed, and reminds him OF the rock Of ages. -
Jpdge.
Wife Notwithstanding is going to hap
pen, dearest: Yes, yes, have prcsentiment
] feel sure of IT,,
Husband thoroughly acquainted with hls
spouse)-NO, think not The drcssmaser and
mllliner called while you were out, and l--cr-
settled the bills.
Wife Gapturou-ly) 80 Darling! = Amrieaa
GTOcer,
what do YOU know about Joseph, Tommy \"
"lie was the hrst dude mentioned In dc
Bible His father gave him blazer, NeW
fo,k Herald.
Little suslc--we have had great awaken
Ing In our church.
Little Ethel Why. in our church they never
go to sleep Chicago Times
A Ponohscot County man was heard to say
with pride the other day that he'd made SlOl
In cold money the past year and was going "a
do rs well the next year. Isn't contentmcnt
the open secret OF success p LeWist0R J0u3Wqk
Mr-. Boggs Yes, ! am widow for the See
Ond time In my life.
Miss Jagg- And win you marry againy
Mrs. BOggs-Well, I'm considering whether
Hwould bo wise for me TO be 50 foolish,
| Bh9hGDfoa Ltdder
Some men think nothing OF jumping a con.
/ tract, hut it'r u warm dry when any ono can
| lumpa cold that he has contracted. ST 10
stM NeHs,
| Curlcw shall ring tonight down In New Bed
ford. The CITY Council Of that antique town
| has voted that the hell shall continue To ring
every night at ~ O'Clock, when, according II
immemora usage, all good New Bcdforder, 90
TO bed Boston Giobe.
| moi long ago Thomas Wentworth llgsinso,
emphasized The Boston tWdng by rhymlna
"lGonlng" with 'dawning." Now Dr. j. X
Pnrkc puts the Philadelphia pronunciation on
record In the lM by rhynng talks viii
"socks. and his poem "a not ON Jerry Slmp
son, either tticd H6idid
Clienii iou have an item In You bill "Al
vice Jan. X go That was day before re
taned yOll.
Iawyer-I know H. but, don't You remem
her on tho Sth told you you'd bettor lct me-
take the case for your
LAWYER Well that's adviee.-Ne0 iorl
SW
Ashes of Roses.
Arhcr Of roses she strows In her way
Very religious u Mnrgeric sweet
Dnll Lenten color she's wearing to-day;
Ashes OF roses nhC strowa In her WAY.