The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-03-12
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Oakes Two 10 gossip. Inc man
who listens can throw no blame on the /
man who tells.-Atchison Globe.
Its somewhat remarkable how so
many crooked men get into straightened
circumstances. Washington Post
Peasant Ito his son)-''Say, Hans,
how long will you have to study before
you can wear glasses" -Fliegende Blat-
ter
-Scribbler-'I have just lots of fun
writing my jokes" Friend-''Thont that
explains it l wondered where the fun
came in. Detroit Free Press.
81 know what the nights of labor
are" said the mother of six boys as she
sat down to repair the pile of trousers
and Jackets.
-Watts-"How is old man Gilfllan?
Is he out of danger yet?" Doctor Bowless
81 don't know. He died this morning."
Indianapolis journal.
When person gets into hot water
you may be sure that he has furnished
his share of the fuel to heat the same.
Boston Transcript.
An agnostic is a man who does not
know any thing, and glories in the fact.
The atheist is a smart man who re-
Ioices in making a fool of himself
Boston Traveller
Not Wholly Bad.-''Is your son one
of those noisy, dissipated college boys?"
''Not exactly. He is what you might
call the cub that cheers, but not in
ebriates IN. Y. Sun.
There are two things needed in
these days: First for rich men to find
out how poor men live, and second, for
poor men to know how rich men work.
Edward Atkinson.
-"Well," said Brown to his newly
married friend, $50 your wife does the
cooking. wonder you are alive to tell
the tale" "Yes," replied the other,
"but am alive-alive and kicking. -
Tid Bits
Why is it that it is so much easier
for other people to say mean things
about man than it is to make pleas
ant comment? You yourself, you know.
never say any thing but pleasant things
about anybody -Somerville Journal.
Mr.. Quilp says that the popular
game known as "Tiddledywinks" must
| have been invented as safe alternative
for persons unable to stand the mental
strain of prolonged indulgence in the
''Idiot's Delight. Buffalo Commercial
Tho Almanac Said So. = Doctor =
''How do you know that your kidneys
are deranged, and you have consump-
tion and heart disease?" Patient-"Be-
cause I've been reading patent medi-
| cine almanac. Yankee Blade.
-Dapper-''What is the greatest lie,
Snapper, that ever impressed itself on
your experience" Snapper-''Well, by
all odds, the worst lie 1 ever heard was
the one your quartet perpetrated last
night when they came around to the
house and sang There's Music in tho
Air. '"-Boston Courier.
-Jenks-''Shall you go to the opera
this season as usual, Miss Helen?''
Helen-"Wed don't know yet. Ethel and
want to go very much, but cur brother
George is on his college football team,
and we can't tell yet whether we shall
be in mourning this year or not. "-Har-
per's Weekly.
His Ideas Not Wanted. Great Edi.
tor-"You want to be journalist, Mr..
Deake? What are your qualiications?'
Mr.. Deake with pardonable pride)-"I
was graduated from Harvard, and took
a postgraduate course at Yale" Great
Editor-"Um, yes; both good colleges,
athletically; you must have a good pail
of legs! Suppose you start in collecting
bicycle notes for our Connecticut edi
tion. The Epoch.