The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-02-13
BOWSER's GYMNASIUM.
ne WAS AFTER MUSCLE AND ne
cor a TASTE or THE CLUB.
rhs Head Of This Unhappy Family Got.
Hit Pretty Hard. and His Better
Haif Reports Progress.


in. | waited until after supper and
then asked:
Have you got a new hobby. Mr..
Did yon ever know me to have .
hobby, new or oldP"
You are regarded as man Of hob
bies.
Il am. eha Then it is by few
idiots! No man in the country is more
clear of hobbies. | am often told that
| am too practical
We'll. what was In that bundleP'
"A doctors prescription-heal
muscle-iongevity In other words
don't propose to pay any more doctors
bills
why. you have wonderfully good
health. Mr.. Bowser.@
And | propose to keep it, I haven't
been exercising enough. / have
brought home Il small onfiit.r
i think ii is foolish and useless.
You are strong aud healthy and you
can make no change for the better
There you gol Always opposing
/ dol 1 wouldn't have
your spirit for boat-load of gold.'
well. don't blame me, rs usual-
blamed YOU? | should be sorry to sus-
pect you of being light-head. but you
are acting very queer. Mrs. Bowser.n
No more was said. and he got out
the tools and lugged his bundle up
stairs aud began fitting up gym
nasium In about an hour he called
me up. He had two weights at the
end of two cords running over o
pulley. and as he worked one and then
the other he said:
This exercise strengthens the arms.
shoulders and chest feel like new
man already. See those clubs?"
Yes
Well. these are Indian clubs They
are more particularly for the arms.
They are worked thus-and thus
and
He was swinging them over his
head. and one fell upon his bald pate
and he sank down as limp as bag.
tore off his collar, aud ran and got
water, and by and he sat up and ask
ed:
What was | doing2n
Exercising with the clubs. knew
you'd do it. y
And when my back was turned you
hit me on the top of the head with a
hammer!s'
.-Of course not. How can you be so
foolish?"
He maintained an attitude of Sc
verify toward me for abcsit an hour.
and then Slipped back up up stairs to
practice with the dumb-beiis- / slip
ped up after him. pretending to hunt
for an old coat. and pretty soon ! ask
ed him what particular benefit he ex-
pected to derive from the use of the
bells
Develop the arms and chest, of
course" he replied.
BUS you weigh 200 pounds now"
That's nothing to do with being
strong. It's muscle I'm after"
What for?A
For fifty reasons. Suppose should
be attacked by a loafer?"
Yes
Suppose / grab a burglar here in
the house?7
Yes
Suppose a footpad should try tC
hold me up?''
What would you dor
do? Do? Watch me?r
He began making very vigorous mo-
tions with a ten-pound ball. and (
catastrophe followed. He hit the wall
with it, let 60 his hold, and it fell up
on his foot. Then he yelled. And
whooped. And howled. And hob
bled about and said he'd get even
with me if it took thousand years
Are you blaming me, MIR. Bowserr
l asked, rs / found a chance to get in
a word.
''Of course you're to blamer'
What did do?n
'.No matterl expected it from the
first. but it's long road which has nc
turn, Mrs Bowserf You just waitI''
i got him down stairs and rubbed his
foot with arnica, and after two or thres
days it was all right again. / think hs
enjoyed being asked why he limped
and think he told all inquirers tha
he had just put up fiftv-pound bel
when the roof of the house gave wal
and a portion of the chimney fell up
on his foot. | heard him llammerins
away up stairs again. and went up tc
ask him what he was doing.
arranging the bar" he replied.
What for9''
To exercise on.
why, MIR. Bowser. YOU are not go
Certainly. | am not to be dis
mayed by two or three slight acci
dents"
..T wish you would let it alone
You are clumsy and awkward. an,
you will hurt yourself severely befor'
you knew it."
Are you talking 10 mep"
''Of course
Clumsy aud awkward, ehP That.
all right Just what / might expec
from you'll That's reason. however
why / should persist in this.m
'tWell, if you get hurt again don
blame me-"
"Humphl Get out of the way"
What are you going to doa"
Practice on the bar. Look out TO
my leGsr'
1 thinl, he tried to catch one of hi
feet OH the bar, or to let go and swim,
with one hand. At any rate he sud
denly descended to the floor With al
awful crash, jarring the centerpiec
loose in the next room below, an,
bringing up the cook to inquire:
is he dead this time ma'amp If SO
let me congratulate you.n
He wasn't dead, but he had bruise,
his hips and shoulders and lamed hi
back. 1t took me full hour to gre
him to bed, and he had nothing t
say until had telephoned for doctor
Then he suddenly observed:
II suppose you have already destroy
ed the evidence of your guilt"
What do you meanPa
The ropes suspending the bar
Some one cut one of them while
was performing
And you lay it to mep''
Il have nothing to say-Aot jus
now. If alive tomorrow we will EN-,