Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-06-28

People Didn't Approve His Pipe.
"SGn, I never said anything, but, after
thinking the matter over and musing on
what awonderful people you Americans are,
l venJUred TO follow others into the end of
the car, where 1 found a smoking ROOM
This was highly satisfactory, and lighted
nv briarwo0d and settled back to enjoy my
self Three other gentlemen looked at me
geverelv-one fled immediately-and in a
short time had the whole compartment to
myself The black man looked in occasion
ally, and seemed to have something on his
mind. I was blowing pretty stiff cloud
and he made q break with:
"'Purtv good tobacco, boss
"Yes, said 1, rather shortly.
Some people don't know good tobacco
when dey smells it, said he, with a grin.
why, man-vou don't mean to insinu-
ate that those fellows ran away on account
Of my pipe"
'Lawd, no! 1 doan 'sinuate nothin'.
But days gone, shuah 'nOugh. Doan yo'
min dat he continued, noting my con-
sternation, 'yo' got 'smuch rights to smoke
heah as day have. Smells heap bettah dan
sich seegahs-'deed it does?
Transformation of the Car.
81 felt very much amused at this. A
mans pipe in England, you know, isn't
considered Objectionable. l smoked long
time. 1t was growing late and l was soon
again wondering where we'd sleep. Knock
ing off my pipe l thought I'd stroll back
and take look al things. To nv surprise
there were no seats visible. Those mysteri-
GUS curtains hung on both sides of a narrow
aisle and the lights We're turned down low.
1 knew then that people were
sleeping behind those curtains, for
] distinctly heard snore. 1
had no idea where my bed was, don't
you know, and as for rummaging along in
Observation-Disclosures cold chilIs went creep
ing along my spine at the very idea Some
American would kill me- So I went back
to the smoking room and was just about to
pull out my pipe again when the porter
objected.
" 'LooE-a-heah, boss doan like but
20 see l sleeps head Yo' bed made up in
the cab
Where do I sleep?' 1 finally asked,
compelled at last to display my ignorance
"Ihat black man looked at me minute,
his eyes getting bigger and whittier all the
time ana his mouth finally spread so much
I was alarmed. He took my check.
Got Into the Wrong Berth.
I" Number 20 teen, said he-'right ham
side, upper.
Thanking him apologetically went care
fully back among the curtains until l came
10 one with card hanging in front of it
with my number l had heard that Ameri-
cans usually undressed and went to bed Just
as if they were at home; but saw no place
to sit down to pull off my boots, and L am a
little modest, anyhow, and so 1 thought I'd
just lie down as l was. Pulling nv cur
tains aside l nearly tainted when dis
covered lady in my bed. She discovered
me at the same time, and gave yell that
woke everybody in the car but the man
who snored. You could hear him blowing
away more distinctly in the painful silence
Of the moment AT the same time, 1 heard
the prolonged ring Of an alarm bell in the
porter'S room That individual came shut
fling from the aisle, among the tousled
heads that we're sticking out here and there,
and wanted TO know what was the matter.
" 4 say, porter, said 1, Il don't under
stand this-here'S lady in MY bed.
- 1t amt your bedl It's no such thingl
Go long with your She didn't give me a
chance TO say a word. But 1 managed to
apologize and tell her it was all right She
could have it all to herself l didn't care
to go to bed anyhow.
" 'Eo' berth is upper, sah-I said uppahl'
the porter explained, and be showed me a
shelf with bed on it right above the lady.
Crowded in With His Boots On.
Dear mel said 1, quite innocently Il
never saw one before, and you'll pardon
me, I'm sure l heard more giggling and
shifting along the aisle, and while was a
tritie embarrassed, you know, l was really
quite amused myself. More especially
since the lady [ had disturbed laughed
pleasantly and forgaye me courteously.
How am 10 get up there, porter?'
p" Cline, sab, cline, replied the black
Step right on my bed, said the lady.
Good gracious ! she exclaimed, as 1
hoisted myself up, if the BriUisher hasn't
gone to bed with his boots on r
Everybody was now laughing at my ex-
penSe, you knOw-and, to tell the truth, 1
was so much amused at my adventure I
could hardly refrain from laughter myself
The man who had been snoring all the time
woke up with a tremendous snort
and putting out his head growled:
Where's the fool-lliller?'
Gle was out of his head, YOU know, hay-
ing been so suddenly awakened from sound
sleep. Il was awfully amusing
Rot Pleasant Experience.
''Boots-boots" the Englishman solilo-
quized. "Ah, we'll; 1 didn't sleep any.
rolling out, which l thought probable at
every severe oscillation of the train. 1 got
down somehow the first one in the morn
ing and went out to the end Of the car and
smoked in the lavatOry.
'Tde next night L spent in Toronto. L
was quite tired and went to bed early, leav-
ing my boots 1t the door, as we do in Eng
land, you know. l had left word to be
called for an early morning train. III have
10 tell you this-not as il came to me then,
but as 1 found out about it aiterward. You
see, L left my boots outside the door. A
lively theatrical party had rooms on the
same floor. They came in after the theater
and must have been drinking, don't you |
know, though you Americans are such |
practical jokers L don't quite understand |
you-so I'm not sure. At any rate lovely |
little soubrette named Raymond, l think, |
came SleDg the corridor about midnight and |
in fit of mental alteration picked up my /
boots and flung them under the bed of |
another lady OF the company, whose bed |
room adjoiucd hers Your theatrical women /
are such jolly jokers, you know, and this
was doubtless considered piece of first |
,lass American hunor. 1t was vastly anus
ng when 1 come to think of it.
His Boots Had Disappeared.
ssT was awakened n little after dov1ioht