Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-03-07
TIE sor HOLDS An Avcrrox.
How He An.ssd uinseaf win nis rssAsr's
Old Clothss

From the Nev rork Tines
The Boy and his father were spending the
evening toge,hera and the latter WIS entertain
Ing the former BY reading 70 himself. CrriOusly
enough, the Boy did not appear 20 be enter
tained, and he concluded TO mold an auction. Sc
he brought out lot Of his fathers old clothes
and thus began:
ladies and gentlemen: The first thing I
shall offer you is this splendid waistcoat. IL is
trimmed with lace and has been eaten by
moths, but you will find the hole. very cool in
summer and You can plug them up in winter.
What am offered for this beautiful garment
One dollar No. Say 50 cents2 preceive
you do not want il and I will lay il aside.
The next thing we will offer you tonight.
ladies' and gentlemen, is this pair OF trousers.
They are made Of muslin, lined with linen. and
have newspaper bottoms"
You had better limit your remarks TO the
gentlemen while You are Offering that gar
ment, suggested the father.
DO not mind the interruptions o. my part
ner, said the boy 30 his imaginary audience.
These are splendid clothes. These Trousers
were worn by the brave Gen. Lincoln. who
gave them TO my brother-in-lAw and me after
the battle of Bunker Hill. We were going. 10
divide them at first, for NV hrother-in-law had
lost one of his legs at the battle of Bull Run
Both what, legs or trousers?' asked the
partner"
But my brother-in-law died with a ruu-a-
round. which turned into a wart because he
didn know anything about Tom Sswyers aud
huck Firms way of curing warts with cats or
spunk water or corpses, and got the Trousers
and now offer them 70 Won. They won't ever
wear shiny, TOR they re just as shiny now ms
they ever can be. They won't rip, because
they re sewed all over lots OF times. n the
buttons come of you can fasten them on again.
L II show Won how if you II come around when
ain in school What am offered? Did hear
SO. Well. I'll lay them one side. IL sell 'em
tonight for $40.
Now, here is a beautiful coat lined with
feathers and trimmed with cigarette pictures.
The buttons are made of solid gold and they n
fit any buttonhole- IL the tails are too long Won
can cut EN- of. It's the kind of a coat that
can be made to fit anybody. This coat has a
history. When Christopher Columbus landed
In the West Indies he found it on the back OF a
savsge-that is, the savage had it ON. He
didn't have anything else on where he landed.
but that ID pretty warm country, and a coat
like this goes a long ways. When Mr.. Colum-
bus-he was q mister, wasn't he, papa
"Yes," said the father. Il suppose he was"
'When Mr.. Columbus went back TO has own
dear native land he gave the coat to his STEP
father and i got il from him. 1t has lasted for
ever and will keep or lasting. i don't hear any
bids, 50 I'll put it aside.
Now. have here a splendid cap made of
sealskin and whaleskin and il is the last thing |
shall Offer you tonight This skin came from
the whale which Johanna WAS in the belly Of
Jonah, said the father.
'My partner SAYS iona, ladies and gentlemen.
but it doesn't make any difference. When the
whale got sick and iona came up he cut off a
piece of skin just in front of the lower fin Then
(after a reference to the Arabian Nights Sim
bad and the Sailor dropped down on the whale
back and got the skin away from iona After
awhile he was up at the north pole, and Alex
ander the Great and the king of the Jews. and
found him there and got ii. We were in a
row boat and a seal came up out Of the water
and killed Alexander and the king right before
my eyes When 1 got back to the country
where they lived and told their folks they were
very sad. How much am offeredg"
There were no bids, but the father slowly drew
out his watch.
You have millions Of dollars in your
pocket" said the boy to his imaginary audi
ence. bitterly, ''snd you won't bid on any Of
these things"
do You know what time it is?' asked the
father.
Have got to go to bed?" asked the boy.
you have"
"An right. It was a pretty good auction
wasn't it, papa