Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-12-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Sea a-stories-The decks.-Puck.
The miner is the man who gets down
to his work. Yonkers Statesman.
The man who wants the earth is salts
fed if he secures the dust.-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Offenders against the law are usually
arrayed in breaches of the peace.-Lop-
ELL Courier.
The shillelah still seems to be the most
striking issue of the Irish campaign.--
Chicago Mail.
A new broom sweeps clean. So does
the new gown with the six-inch train
Detroit Free Press.
The tramp is the man who waited for
the wagon too long and had to take
walk Galoeston Neaos.
We never saw man so sancti6ed that
he smiled when he paid his taxes.-Mar-
tha's Vineyard Herald.
One popularity of the skin on an ami
NAL is that the fur side is the near side
to you.-NeW York Journal.
Nurses make the meanest kind of
white cap gentry, for they will even hold
up babies. baltimore american.
The writer of cheap stories does not
feel it at all degrading to live on his
poor relations. Boston Transcript.
The reader who gets his news in a
nutshell frequently finds that the kernel
has been abstracted. Pitts5urg Dispatch.
Some men get reputation for bravery
just because they are unable to conceal
how scared they are. -SomeroiNe Journal.
Big men are the most merciful. The
fatter the judge the more inclined he is
to be spare man.-Bieyhamton Leader.
Jagson says that there are men who
go to political meetings, but who never
cheer without inebriating. -Elmira
Gazette.
A very little thing will often discour-
age man, especially when its mother
has gone to sewing society. .-Elmira
Gazette.
Photographers are never progressive
They always impress you with the idea
that you must not move.-Ricitmond
Recorder.
This is the season of the year when
the young man goes to his funeral aud
pulls his gun over the fence after him.
Columbus Post.
Hackett-"How is your wife getting
on with her dress reform movement2"
Sunsette-'Immense. She las two new
dressmakers ~ Cloak ReDie,c.
1t is not until a man goes on quesG
for hired girl that he fully appreciates
the immense proportions of the woman
question. - Baltimore american,
1t is a sign that her husband is max
ing money when woman begins to get
the look ON her face of looking at you
without seeing you.-Atchison Globe.
"What would you do if you were in
my shoes, Jephson9" asked Hobbs.
'Black 'em," replied Jephson, eyeing
Hobbs's understanding critically.-Som-
eroilLe Journal
Ethel-"After marriage we two shall
be one, shan't we, George" George
Theoretically; though l doubt if they
will make out the board bill that way"
-fSO 4 Urn c1H-
When it is remembered how slowly
but with crushing effect the glaciers
move, it is not difficult to believe that
''the tooth of timen must be grinder.
-Losoeu Courier.
Visiting Clergyman-"Aro you never
troubled with thoughts of wasted oppor-
tunitiesa" Ccn,ict-"No; l can't re-
member ever missing a chance for a
haul. ."-Ne,o York Herald
''I wonder why I can't make my kite
fy," walled the little brother of the high
school girl. 'It looks to me, " replied
Mildred, '.as though its caudal append
age were dlsproportionate to its super
fetal area" 81 don't think tha5's it,"
said Jim; 81 think its tail is too light"
Ta,.re .Siff;nos