St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-26
How He Started Out to Get a
Wife, and Failed to Get
Her.
How He Changed His Mind
and Became, Consequent
ly, a Pessimist.
But It Is Possible to Marry If
One Will Marry Any
body.
Chicago Press.

Chicago Press
DO you want to get married?
If you do think seriO usly of taking
unto yourself a wife. perhaps the expe-
rIence OF young man who started out
few weeks ago in search OF a better
half may interest YOU.
In the first place, the individual in
question is not an AdOnis by any means.
and perhaps his degree of success may
be accounted for in that way. In finance
he was almost embarrassed. III re-
member correctly, his total assets
amounted to about 81 when he started
on his peculiar mission. He knew not
a girl who would marry him, but was
determined TO find one.
The first he met was a pretty blonde
who was dispensing bon bOns behind
the counter of fashionable candy en-
pOrGm.
Now, here was a girl who, perhaps.
would be glad TO get married. OF
course, he didn't know her. but what
difference did that make? lie had been
told but few weeks before that it was
an exceedingly easy thing TO get a wife.
Put on bold front. that is all you
need, a friend vino was supposed to
know. had said 10 him, and he had
taken the advice.
His s. dwindled down to dollar,
while he waited about the store for 4
dozen women to make their purchases
and depart.
Don't you have to work pretty
hard?' he asked. as she handed him 4
pound OF bOn-bOnS.
The pretty blonde acknowledged with
sigh that she did; and the aspirant tor
matrimonial hOnOrs plucked up courage
enough to ask her why she did not get
married
Il don't know" she replied hesitat-
ingiy as she blushed ever 50 slightly.
Now here was chance. Here was a
pretty g!ri WHO evidently wanted to get
married and didn't know why she
didn't
''Ill tell you what I'll do" he half
stammered As he slowly moved toward
the door. III marry YOU
''Sir?" was all she said. and she gave
him such crushing look that he forgot
to ask her II she had any friends who
might wish To get married.
His urSt attempt was certainly 4 dead
failure, but il proved To him that his
friend did not know as much as he
thought he did. He never thought for
moment that the pretty blonde would
DO anything else than sit OH him, but
he was glad it was all over.
Nothing remained now TOR him to do
but to place matr m0nial advertise
ment iii some newspaper describing
himself and his prospects. AMI wait pa
tientiy for answers.
In about three DAYS he learned that
no less tnan thlrty-Seven women. OF all
ages and kinds. were willing to take
him for better or worse. Selecting four
Of the most favorable replies. he de-
termined to call upon the aSDirauts for
his hand ana fortune. such Is it was.
aud see what fate hade i'm store for him.
The first woman. who described her
self as refined. pretty ard twenty
four" lived Oh Wabash avenue in the
neighb0rhoOd of Thirteenth street.
The little boy who opened the front
door said his sister would be down in
half an hour. more or less. and cautious
ly conducted the expected visitor into a
musty little parlOr, which evidently was
little used.
In less than fOrtv-five minutes a tall.
slender woman strobe with masculine
steps into the room, and the stray sun
beams that stole in through the cracks
of the closed blinds lighted ND her rather
some Of the rareSt freckleS ever seen.
For moment she stood there blushing
giriishly-she was not minute over
forty-nve-and then she gently stole up
to llm. and i'm accents low she said:
Il am sure mamma will never give
her consent; but if she doesn't we can
run away
Our adyenturer had passed through
several railroad accidents safely. and
faced death in many and various forms,
but this this was more than he could
bear
Determined to lose no time and to es-
cape FROM the house as soon as possible,
he edged toward the door and timidly
remarked:
I-er-dOn't think You'll suit
You villain. You have deceived me!
Cruelty deceived me! | will sue YOU
les. sir. sue you, this very day."
He lost the remainder. of the inter-
esting commentary as he hurried down
the steps and disappeared around the
corner.
1t took day for him to recover fully
from the shock and write to the second
woman he decided to call upon TO let
her know what day ana hour he would
make his appearance. She had no in
tentiOn of allowing him to cali. for she
answered his eDiStle Immediately, stat
ing she would be on the corner of Mich
igan avenue and Van Buren, street at
certain hour the following evening. A
yellow rose was to distinguish her from
other lOiterers.
She kept the engagement promptly.
and as the man in search of a wife
walked by her he discovered that she
was really young. In her letter she had
said nothing REGARDING her appearance.
and consequently her red hair, pug nose
ana her three-dOlar smile made her all
the more interesting.
& Il believe [ have an engagement with
YOU" our friend said as lie raised his
hat. or at least he told me he did.
" e-es-pieasant weather, isn't it,
she said. and he acknowledged that it
was. as he drew her under friendly
awning from the drenching rain.
Il would not care to get married for 4
year or two, you know" she went on.
Il Just want some nice young man, who
will take me to the tne-a-ter a couple OF
times a week and buy me things. Then
if liked him. might marry him."
She paused for breath or because she
didn't have anything else to say, and
the man in search of a wife heaved a
fourteen-pOund sigh and felt in his vest
pocket to see if his life insurance policy
was safe.
Little girl" he said, 81 am very
sorry, but want to get married at once
have a friend, though, who would go
crazy TO blow in his large salary taking
you to the the-a-teT. and buving VIM