New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-11-04
AFTER ME, THEY'RE AFTER ME
White Gaps and Threats Of Physical Dis
fguration Confront the Review Man.
Beautiful Language Poured into his Ear
by one who is Sorely Offended.
He is Still AT Home" However and will
continue to be to all visitors.

He is Still AT Home" However and will
continue to be to all visitors.
1t is not often that the enjoyable seren-
ity, that usually pervades the little room
known as the Review Office, is robbed
of its charms by the peculiar and bois-
ferrous eloquence of some good reader
who feels himself hurt at little squib
in the latest issue of this much-read
family newspaper, and who gives vent to
his feelings in long list of pet phrases,
embellished from beginning to end with
beautiful oaths, selected from an elab-
crate vocabulary of profanity, and,
when such rough intrusions do occur,
one is acutely reminded of the re-
morse that the immortal Shakespeare
must experience in looking down from
another world than this and wondering
why it was, that, instead of being COM
PEELED to draw upon the stores of his
mighty genius in an endeavor to coin
curses for the angry Margaret of Rich
ard III, he had not been permitted to
draw from the same fountains as do
these latter-day saints, who are so
quick to find fault with what has no
more to do with them than the super
abundance of old maids in Massachu-
setts has to do with the immense pro-
duction Of honey in the venerable state
referred to. In fact, words fail to ex-
press the poignancy of an EDITORS an
guish at being unable to transmit to
paper these interesting interviews, and
thereby with the aid of the art preserv-
ative give to the world as rich legacy
these passages, so eloquent with pro-
faneness and so convincing with al.
most dynamite emotion. Ordinarily
newspaper man takes but little notice
of the occasional visits that are paid to
the sanctum for the purpose of rectify-
ing an error. Folks usually come and
go; they ask for correction, get it and
are forgotten. But when an individual
blows in like a northwest wind and
stands before the unsuspecting scribe
like an offended deity and with the
wrath of thousand Donnellys.-the
Donnelly who met Bill King after the
$l verdict had been rendered. bottled
up within him and waiting to shatter it's
victim, the helpless editor, rather sud-
denly and whether he wants to or not,
feels creeping sensation on the south
side of the liver, and wonders why such
threatening greatness had never been
heard of before.
Now it was just such visit as this
that the Review Office received early
last Wednesday morning. With thun-
derbolts lodged in his every look, an
irate young man entered the room in
behalf of his honor. as he said, and
without any pleasing prelude launched
into TRADE Of what we sometimes call
beautiful language soft and sweet, ac-
companied by lung exertion that resem.
BILE IN many respects the purr of Ben
gal tiger. 1t was not our business to
question why he did this. Oh, no! 1t
was enough for us to listen quietly
while our young friend told us that we
were ''a - - scoundrel!!" that we
''could be bought!'' that we were ga
- - rascal!!!'' that s1f we weren't
so low he would mop the floor with us!!''
that ''he would spoil our picture if we
| didn't take it all back!!'' and similar
gems of literary merit that sparkled with
versatility. When the storm burst upon
us, we were certain that we would be
blasted by it's tremendous force; when il
had blown over, the effect was the same
as if an italian had stood before us and
in mellifluous accents told us how good
and how nice were his bananas and or.
anges. Our only regret was that we had
not been allowed to get his defense
in neatly typewriter manuscript
SO as to be able to give the public the
full benefit of its wide range Of pug
ilistic diction. 81
We have devoted this much space &
our rather excited visitor, for the 1ea
son that there may be others Of The
same temper, who are apt to fall init
the bad habit Of firing off their scurril,
maledictions at the editor of a newspa-
per without first using the consideration
/ and the conservative reason that entitle
man to respect, and the Review doe
not desire to be under the painful ne
cessity Of laying bare any more mani
| festations of feelings such as are re
| ferred to in this article. Swearing a
the most is a bad practice, and thos
who are bothered with 1t to any consid
cradle extent we will leave to thetende
care and guidance Of their friends. Fo
ourselves we have done all that seem
=