The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-01-09
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS,


who listens can throw no blame on the
man who tells.-AtChison Globe.
The best way to pack a trunk is 20
sit in an easy chair and watch your wife
do it. Richmond Recorder.
Its somewhat remarkable how SO
many crooked men get into Strengthened
circumstanc Washington Post.
Peasant Ito his on)--"Say Hans,
how long will you have to study before
you can wear glasses?"- Fliegende Blat-
ter.
-Scribbler-'I have just lots of fun
writing my jokes" Friend-"Then that
explains it. wondered where the fun
came in. detroit Free Press
Il know what the nights OF labor
are" said the mother Of six boys as she
sat down to repair the pile of trousers
and Jackets
-Watts-"FIow is old man Gilfillan?
Is he out of danger yet?' Doctor Bowless
81 don't know. He died this morning."
indianapolis Journal
When q person gets into hot water
you may be sure that he has furnished
his share of the fuel to heat the same.
Boston Transcript.
An agnostic is man who does not
know any thing, and glories in the fact.
The atheist is smart man who re-
ioices in making a fool of himself
Boston Traveller.
Not Wholly Bad Ills your son one
of those noisy, dissipated college boys?"
Not exactly. He is what you might
call the cub that cheers, but not in
ebriates IN. Y. Sun.
There are two things needed in
these days: First. for rich men to find
out how poor men live, and second, for
poor men to know how rich men work.
Edward Atkinson.
-''Well," said Brown to his newly
married friend, $50 your wife does the
cooking. wonder you are alive to tell
the tale" "Yes," replied the other,
but am alive-alive and kicking. -
It'd Bits
| Why is it that it is 50 much easier
for other people to say mean things
about man than it is to make pleas
ant comment? You yourself you know,
never say any thing but pleasant things
about anybody -Somerville Journal
Mr. Quilp says that the popular
game known as carbohydrates" must
| have been invented as a safe alternative
for persons unable to stand the mental
strain of prolonged indulgence in the
"Idiot's Delight. Buffalo Commercial.
The Almanac Said So. - Doctor -
'How do you know that your kidneys
are deranged, and you have consump-
| i De-
cause I've been reading a patent medi-
cine almanac. Yankee Blade
--Dapper-''W is the greatest lie,
Snapper, that ever impressed itself on
your experience" Snapper-"Well by
all odds, the worst lie / ever heard was
the one your quartet perpetrated last
night when they came around to the
house and sang There's Music in tho
Air. boston Courier
-Jenks-'Shall you go to the opera
this season as usual, Miss Helen"
, Helen-'We don't know yet Ethel and
l want to go very much, but cur brother
George is on his college football team,
and we can't tell yet whether we shall
, be in mourning this year or not. "-Har-
per's Weekly.
His Ideas Not Wanted. -Great Edi'
tor-''You want to be a journalist, Mr..
Deake? What are your qualifications"
, Mr. Deake with pardonable pride)-"l
, was graduated from Harvard, and took
postgraduate course at Yale" Great
Editor-"Um, yes; both good colleges,
athletically; you must have good pair
I Of legs! Suppose you start in collecting
bicycle notes for our Connecticut edi
ton. The Epoch.