The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-17
MR.. AND Ma. 20 WszR.
A Question of Corns and Dressmakers
and laflors
From the Detroit Free Press.


From the Detroit Free Press
had been suffering with soft corn for
about week before Mr.. Bowser suddenly
inquired:
"What on earth makes you limp as you
walkT'
II didn't know as 1 did limp. have a
corn, however"
''Corn-yesl Evidence that the fools are
not all dead yeti Good enough for you or
any other woman who'll jam her No. 5
feet into No. shOesl Hope you'll have a
dozenl"
''Corns don't always come from wearing
tight Shoes"
''Don't theyl Bet you a million dollars to
q cent they do! Can't come any other way.
aud a man or woman who will wear shoes
too small for them ought TO be published to
the public at large as non cOmpOs mentis."
On the third day after the above CONVEX
sation noticed that Mr.. Bowser hmped as
he came home 10 supper.
Had fallg' l queried.
| "No, ma'am."
Il notice that you are lame"
mot much! Pm not one Of the lame
sort.n
was sure that he was uncomfortable, if
not suffering, but nothing more was said
until after supper. Then he lodged up
stairs, and when l went upstairs after him
a few minutes later L found him with his
| shoe and sock Off
Foot was cold, and I thought would
rub it little, you know" he explained.
Mr.. Bowser, you've got cornp
| "Nevern
81 am certain Of it'll Hold your foot up
here"
"Boshl Ny foot is cold, that's all. Cornl
I'd like to see a corn come on my footl"
| Hold it up herel Therel There, Mr..
4 If "a fcTaft hk.Nx
| toes then | never saw one. It's soft corn.
1t comes from a tight shoe. Your toes have
been pinched until they rubbed together"
at can't be.n
"But it is"
"A man or woman who will wear shoes
too small for them ought"
he drove me out of the room and locked
the door, but had tue satisfaction Of know
ing that he suffered for whole week. The
| nearest he owned up to it was when he came
home and said:
mo wonder l suffered. CarbuncIes are
tender things. 1t would have put you in
| bedn
81 never heard of carbuncle between the
toes"
| Probably not. There are several things
in this world you have never heard Of, smart
as you are"
| l expected new dress to come up one
evening in time for a party to which we
had been invited. At o'clock he began to
grow uneasy, and queried:
why on earth didn't you have it here
this morningp
ut wasn't done"
Then you should have given your order
further ahead. Mrs. Bowser, you are a
very soft mark
"But the dress will be here by T."
"Bet you Two farms to a cent? Never
knew anything OF yours to come up within
1 fyvn nfNr-f .nf tka
That is a nice state of affairs, must say!"
1.-THE dress will come"
mot until tomorrow, and we might as
well make up our minds to stay at home. p"
1t was there at $50 o'clock, and he z t out
OF 1t by saying that it was a mistake for
which the dressmaker would probably COM
NIT suicide. A week later he ordered a
new suit, STIMULATING that they were to be
sent uD at noon on a GER ain day. We
were to go TO party that night, and at
breakfast queried:
"Do you feel certain Of your new suitF
do feel certain that live?n he replied,
with grand wave of his hand.
| but II may not come up"
And the sun may bust its biler and the
pieces tumble to EARTH The clock will not
have struck IL before that suit is here"
But whom he came up to dinner had to
inform him that,n suit had arrived.
80, well, the parcel boy is taking it slow, y
he answered. cit will be here before / CO.
But it wasn't He waited ten minutes
over time and then went to the telephone
and called the tailor up and said:
Il suppose that suit has started on its way
up"
could not, of course, hear the reply.
why. that suit ordered a week ago."
[Tailor'S reply unheard.
You haven'tl That's pretty ideal Dc
| you mean to tell me that suit isn't finished ?'i
[railor's reply unheard.l
well, YOU see that you dol If it's one
| minute after I'll leave the suit on your
hands,"
blow about my dressmakerl" asked as
ne hung up the trumpet
"How about nothing! Dressmakers de.
iberately perjure themselves, while this
was a mere oversight. It'll be up at G."
"And if notl'
Didn't say IL would be up at 60 Make
all your arrangements to go to that party. u
When he came home at and failed to find
the suit he ordered he turned five shades
whittier. Going to the place he yelled to the
tailor:
"Where in Halifax is that suit of mine 81
tTallor's reply unheard.
mo, it hasn'tl What do you mean by
such conductN
[Tailor's reply unheard
YES, if it comes at sharp Z, but not @
minute later! You folks down there must
nave all Deen on q drunk THIS week."
as it coming at ~" asked.
Certainly l didn't expect it before, su.
wanted to hurry 'em up a little"
well, / hope it will come"
Hope! 1t will come, and that's all there
is about it."
Butt O'Clock came without the suit II
didn't come at half.past nor at 8, and Mr.
Bowser called up the central aud was told
that the tailor shop was shut up. He
danced up and down, raped on the box
kicked the cat and told baby to shut up
and finally he fell into a chair and looked
at me in cold, icy way.
well, how about the dressmakers" l
, asked.
Not word, Mrs. Bowssr--not word
/ see how it isl"
show what isg'
"More of your revengeful work. You
wanted to get even with me and you have
done IT."
"But what did l dor
"Never you mindl Let your own con.
science ans scr! Pm going down town, and
If shouldn't return TO the house you car
communicate with any lawyer you see fit.
! But he was home and in bed by IL o'clocE
! and glad to drop the subject.
A BLIND DRU MINER.