The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-09-13
suNFLoWFR SKINNER.

Some women who do not fancy work dc
fancy work.
The is no more harmony than hard
money in Kansas.
The soil in Kansas is not all it is cracked
up to be in real dry weather.
There is one ism" that Senator PETER
| is not addicted to-patriotism.
A. P. Riddle found it riddle to run d
paper in Pittsburg, and so quit.
Jerry Simpson is talking for money. He
| takes almost everything but breath.
PETER is not in the Kansas herd book,
though nobody in the state has been heard
| more
The Kansas Alliance is coming out all
right. 1t refuses to support man unless
he has been Republican.
Gentlemen" said the Alliance orator
| just before his coat-tail caught in the big
| fy-wheel in protected industry establish
ment, 1--WE are on the eve of a revolution"
Senator Plumb has made a resolution
that he will not abuse the Alliance or its
| leaders, but PETER better not attempt to
run down Kansas on the floor of the
United States senate.
The Alliance editor wrote. "Jerry Simp-
son will shine in Washington" but the
compositor left off the Sc" in shine"
First Disputant-I claim that more peo-
pie drink than do not.
Second Disputant-And l say less drink
First Disputant-Thanks; don't care if
do.
He was Democrat, ard when he came
home at three o'clock in the morning, he
fell into the hat-rack. put his foot through
the screen door and tangled himself up in
a rug. He was undressing very quietly
when voice from the bed asked:
"John, where have you been?"
Democratic rally, love, tha's ALL"
"You don't seem well?'' sarcastically.
Terrible strange feeling in my head.
love-"
Evidently the trouble is in your head.
Swimming isn't it?"
Terrible feel hic-ing. Just goes found
and round"
Haven't you any idea what can be the
NATTER" sarcastically.
Same thing that-hic-troubled-h ic- Colo
mel Tomlinson. Vertigo my love, that's
it; vertigo"
Yes, of course: but l understand that
Colonel Tomlinson does not drink. I"
Right, my love, strictly temperate man.
Same here. Never took but two glasses;
two, see? Felt attack of vertigo coming on
and Doc says, little whisky will settle it,
hic, but darling, bic, 1 only took two
bic glasses. Darling:"
No answer.
Darling, speak hic to your vertigo hic
husband?"
No answer
Vertigo darling tha's all, but-hic-make
& noise so l can tell where the bed is.
Vertigo, love tha's ali.
A candidate for county Office named
Limbrey, last week went into a Clay
county newspaper office, frothing at the
mouth and rolling his eye like mad bull.
He singled out the editor and poked his
big fist up under MS nose. See here, he
said, 1 forbid you to use my name in your
paper, understand"
Eyes sir, said the editor.
Don't let me catch you putting it in
once"
Yes sir said the editor, 81 will be care
full. But Mr.. Limbrey, to my knowledge,
your name has never appeared in my
paper. viii be careful to keep it out
al know it, sir, my name has never been
in your paper, sir and I defy you TO put it
there. The idea sir-here I am a prom
inent citizen, sir. and my name never APP
peared in your paper sill"
But just now you said you didn't want
it in
mo. sir. do not. dare you to put my
name in. dare you to print one word.
1 have said TO you. 1 dare you 10 print
my name"
"All right, " said the editor, ''Tll keep it
out"
do you mean to say that you will say
nothing about this quarreli Do you mean
to insult me? Amt you going 70 print
my name in your papert'
The editor got up here and, taking of
his coat, said: ''Of course not. you dod-
blasted. cross-eyed, lop-eared son Of = gun.
Get out of here, you hatchet-faced. pusil-
luminous pie-eAter. or III knock You into
the middle OF next week
Mr. Limbrey went down stairs and
across the street. and. locking up sc the
editorial window. yelled, You nasty old
thing But be IS happy, for bis name
got into the paper