The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-13
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.


The Indian comes Lo, but we must have
him.--Pack.
In time Of financial panic even words fall
Teas S.ftings.
II never reduces the size of bill to file it,
fiusourq Chronicle.
The grand old party whip has lost its snap
Ne'o Orleans Piedyune.
You light q match to make 1t burn, and you
burn match to make it light Goyham Noun
fdtneer.
The man who pays his rent has to hustle,
and the man who does not has to keep NOV
ing.-Ufica Observer.
woman's aim in life is rarely reached unless
the aim is man and the missile a glance OF
the eye.-St. Joseph News.
"How was 1t that the Judge granted your
divorce before even reading your petitionf"
"lle was my wifc's first husband. Courier
des EtafS- Unis.
Ch0llie--Awthaw seems to be really cut up
over the death OF that rich uncle OF his.
Dollie-But IL wasn't the wich one. II was
the poor onc-thc bookkeeping fellow, you
money from, don't you know.--indiaaapoli
| journal.
"Jimmie is very unfortunate boy" said
Mrs. simpson. "lie Joined an athletic club,
and the first time he went there he broke one
OF the best records they had."-MuRceys
| Weekly.
Misled,Mr: Jason threw down his paper and
Whats the matter, Jehlels" asked his wife.
''Oh, nothing. Just started to read eomc-
thing here about How to Manage Scraps II
was one of those fool household receipts, in
stead OF sporting matter, as had supposed"
| Indianapolis Journal.
"Its n%Snoy money money all the tims"
meekly. I'D begun TO think IL was money ut
no time. One hundred dollars win do Inc this
morning. Hape's Basar.
Miss Hartly--vory, very sweet indeedi Ia II
| your own arrangement
The essor-Wcll-largely. l scored the
pedaling.-HaTper'S Bazar.
| Algernon ION the steamer, saying goodbye
to Ethel, in whose eyes he imagines he sees
prospective tears)-Now keep up. little girl,
Eihei-Keep ups Now tell me, do you think
there Is really any danger of our going down !
Boston Courier.
slow many children have you ~ wag was
once asked by person whose intellectwas not
his strong point.
~ have three sons. was the reply, sand
each of them has -four sisters"
"Good graciousl" exclaimed the other In
amazement. "Why, that makes ffteen!'-EG-
CHANGE
Very Bad Boy (who has been playing truanD
What was de text dis mornin', JimmyY
has ter tell der folks when get home or else
they'll suspec' somean's wrong.
Good Little Boy (who In never absent--It
was $50 10 your aunt and get slugged," an 1
tell you the sermon was hne.-Lye.
II is sometimes found next to impossible to
convey ideas correctly by telephone. A,physii,
telephoned TO the friends OF his patient here to
send up by express bottle OF champagne and
something else which over the wires sounded
exactly like "cat.n
spell it," said the Lowell lady at the telc
phone.
"SS,a.t," was the apparent response.
yes" was the answer.
"Well," telephoned she TO her husband "you
nre TO send up bottle OF champagne and u cat
That's M near M l can make 10 OUT
The husband and the apothecary concluded
that champagne tap was what was wanted
and, sure enough, II wos.--LoipeH Courier.
"Is this case of long standing, madames"
"oh, my, no, doetorl lie amt been ON hli
feet fur nigh on TO six weeks. ~ Halper'S Bd
sdf.
New York Herald Il seems TO me McAlllstei
should rank Columbus.
"Mhat on idea.N
"Well, anybody could have discovered
America. MeAllister discovered world whicl
didn't exist"
, job was probably the most precocious chill
, ON record. lie cursed the day that he wa
born. .-LiJe.
+ A poor country congregation found itsel
badly in want Of hymn books. The clcrgymoi
! applied 10 Lendon Arm, and asked TO be sup
piled at the lowest (church) rates. The frn
replied that on condition the hymn books con
falned certain advertisements, the congrega
tion should have them for nothing. Necesslt
knows no law, and the minister sorrowfull
! complied thinking to himself that when tn
advertisements came they could be removed
from the leaves, Tho hymn books arrived
: and-loy of 1oys-they contained no Inter
. leaYed advertisements. AT tho thanksglyln.
: service the good parson Ioyously gave out tn
Christmas hymn, and the congregation SAN
the first verse with feryor When they reached
the last line they found that this was what the
had been singing
, ..iiarki the herald angels sing,
Beccham's Pills are Just the thing;
Peace ON earth and mercy mild,
Two for man and one for child,n