The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-01-08
BOWSER'S GYMNASIUM.
He WAS AFTER MUSCLE AND HE
GOT A TASTE OF THE CLUB.
The Head of This Unhappy Family Get.
Hit Pretty Hard, and His Better
Half Reports Progress.

A large bundle. tied with ropes.
came up to the house the other even
Ing. and | had not had time to pry in
to the contents when Mr.. Bowser came
in. | waited until after supper and
then asked:
Have you got new hobby, MIR.
Bowser?n
Did you ever know me to have
hobby, new or old?'
You are regarded rs man of hob
bies."
Il am. eh2 Then it is by few
idiotsi No man in the country is more
clear of hobbies. am often told that
/ am too practical"
We'll. what was in that bundle?"
"A doctors prescription-healt
muscle-Iongevity. In other words l
don't propose to pay any more doctors
bills
Why. you have wonderfully good
health, Mr.. Bowser.n
And propose to keep it. | haven't
been exercising enough. L have
brought home small outfit"
Il think it is foolish and useless.
You are strong and healthy and you
can make no change for the better
There you go! Always opposing
everything l do! | wouldn't have
your spirit for boat-load of gold"
well, don't blame me, rs usual"
Blame you? AS usual? Who ever
blamed YOU? / should be sorry to sus-
pect you of being light-head, but you
are acting very queer, Mrs. Bowser. "
No more was said, and he got out
the tools and lugged his bundle up
stairs and began fitting up gym
nasium. In about an hour he called
me up. He had two weights at the
end Of two cords running over a
pulley, and rs he worked ore and then
the other he said:
This exercise strengthens the arms,
shoulders and chest. | feel like new
man already. See those clubs?"
Yes"
We'll. these are Indian clubs. They
are more particularly for the arms.
They are worked thus-and thus
and"
He was swinging them over his
head, and one fell upon his bald pate
ald he sank down as limp as Il bag,
l tore OFF his collar, and ran and got
water, and by and he sat up and ask
ed
What was doing?"
Exercising with the clubs. knew
you'd do it."
And when my back was turned you
hit me on the top of the head with a
hammer
"Of course not. How can you be so
foolish?"
He maintained an attitude of Sc
verify toward me for about an hour,
and then slipped back up up stairs to
practice with the duInb-bells. | slip
ped up after him, pretending to hunt
for an old coat, and pretty soon | ask
ell him what particular benefit he eX-
pected TO derive from the use of the
bells.
Develop the arms and chest, of
course" he replied.
But YOU weigh 200 pounds now"
That's nothing to do with being
strong. It's muscle I'm after
What for?n
For fifty reasons. Suppose l should
DO attacked by loafer?"
Yes
Suppose I grab a burglar here in
the house?'
Yes
Suppose a footpad should try to
hold me up?"
wi would you do?'
DO? Do? Watch me?n
He began making very vigorous mo-
tlDnS with ItI,nl hill nj
catastrophe followed. He hit the wall
with it, let 20 his hold, and it fell up
on his foot. Then he yelled. And
whooped. And howled And hob
blcd about. and said he'd get even
with me if it took Il thousand years.
Are you blaming me, Mr.. Bowser!"
| asked, as l found a chance to get in
a word.
OF course you're to blamem
What did | do?"
No matter. hexpected it from the
first but it's 4 long road which has no
turn, Mrs. Bowser! You just watt"
got him down stairs and rubbed his
foot with arnica. and after two or three
days 1t was all right again. | think he
enjoyed being asked why he limped,
and | think he told nj lnquirerS that
he had just put up n ffty-pound bell
when the roof of the house gave way
and a portion of the chimney fell up
on his foot. | heard him hammering
away up stairs again. and | went up to
ask him what he was doing
ARRANGING the b;I," he replied.
What for?n
TO exercise on.
Why, Mr.. Bowser. you are not 60
ing INTO practice again. are you?"
Certainly l am not TO be dis
mayed by two or three slight acct
dents"
Il wish you would let it alone.
You are clumsy and awkward. ana
You will hurt yourself severely before
you know it,"
Are you talking to me?"
''Of course
Clumsy and awkward. Ell? That's
all right! just what l might expect
from You! That's reason. however.
why | should persist in this"
We'll if you get hurt again don't
blame me-"
'Humph' Get out of the way"
w hat are You going to do?"
Practice on the bar. Look out for
my legs,'
L think he tried to catch one of his
1eet on the bar, or to let 90 and swing
with one hand. AT anv rate he sud-
denly descended 10 the floor with an
awful crash. jaring the centerpiece
ioose IN The neNo room below, and
bringing up the co Ok to inquire:
Is he dead this time maam? If so,
let me congratulate YOU"
tie wasn't dead but he had bruised
his hips and shoulders and famed his
back, 1t took ne a full hour to oct
hln to bed, and he had nothing to
say until had te;lephoued for a doctor.
hen he suddenly observed:
Il suppose you have already destroy
ed the evidence of your guilt"
What do you mean?''
= Inc ropes suSpending the bar
oome one cut one of them while I
was performinun