Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1891-06-04
INGERsoLL's MoNOLoGUE.
A Few Statements Made from the Lips of the
Famous Orator.

Col. Bob Ingersoll was found yester-
day at his rooms at the Aberdeen,
leaning upon little table and indulg-
ing in a good-natured monologue in re-
sponse to few interrogatory spurs.
"As for DIR. Briggs, L think he is all
right as far as he has gone, but he
hasn't gone far enough. don't rank
him as a very great man, but he is a
great deal bigger than his prosecutors
You must have heresy in the church
to secure progress. 1t was the intelli-
gence OF the Greek priests that lost
them control of the Catholic church.
They began to doubt the three-in-one
business and they lost their grip. The
cunning of the Romish priests rather
than their broad intelligence gave
them the sway of the great church.
As said, the churches must have her.
esy to advance and they do have it.
A minister begins to imbibe liberal
ideas as a boy eats pie. The latter
nibbles around the edge until he sees
that his mother will detect the theft
and then he murmurs, damn it, i
might as well eat the whole pie any
way" and down it goes.
1.-The fact is" and the redoubtable
colonel hitched his chair a little closer
to the table and looked over his eye
glasses, al don't know a great ortho-
dox minister in the pulpit to-day.
Have you got any around here?"
The nneSrinpa1 maroon al
that local pride would prevent an
answer.
81 don't really, and what is more I
don't know OF a great man studying
for the orthodox pulpit at present.
A great man can't believe the doctrines.
The last great minister was Ward
Beecher and he would have been a
great deal bigger if he had kicked over
Plymouth church. | told him once
that i felt like saying OF him as a
writer once said OF Jean Paul Rubens,
the great artist, 'Rubens occasionally
towers up to the skies in spite of the
Dutch cheeses tied to his legs
at beats all how the ministers have
changed" and the great infidel laid
aside his glasses and rolled a card up
| in his fingers. "Wben / meet them
now they frequently begin to apologize
for their doctrines. One them lately,
while explaining how he disliked the
idea of God with his attributes of
power and punishment, and was at
tracted by the sacrificing spirit of
| Christ, asked me if 1 didn't believe in
such a view. OF course, said |, one
who honestly perished in a great cause
has my admiration, but now, Mr..
Blank, If you had to choose between
passing the evening with Christ and
with Robert Burns, which would you
prefer? Just imagine little warm,
Scotch whiskey and Robert at his best.
Now, which would you prefer? Don't
| ask me any such questions, Mr.. Inger-
soil, it isn't fair, answered the divine" +"
| and the colonel laughed at the recol-
| lection.
al don't know, as / said, any great
F! orthodox ministers. L believed Can
non Farrar was great minister until
| read his works. In the controversy
L had few years ago he wrote a reply
to me so feeble that l did not even
answer it. Gladstone failed in his ar
guments but his position merited no
| tice; but OF all the articles that writ
ten by Rev. Henry Fields was by far
the ablest in spirit and argument.
So considerate was he in his criticisms
that he not only asked if there was
anything in his article to offend me,
but even if there was anything often
sive to my daughters"
81 can't make out the gentleman's
name," said the colonel as he glanced
at card and grasped vainly for his
glasses, ''but show the gentleman VI"
and so, doubtless, the afternoon was
spent in chatting with callers.