The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-11-11
PlTH AND POINT.

Polysyllables-"Want cracker y e-l
Puck.
"Bread upon the waters"-Hard tack.
-Rtck. ~
Came in with rush-The freshmen.
Yale Record. 5ssSl
The infantile prodigy in music cannot!
be classed as note-shayer.
It's the Irishman who wants his mem-
ory kept green Yale Record.
The man who rides a wheel often
comes to whoa.--NeW York Journal.
A man may be lantern-jawed and yet
his face may never light up. --NsU Yorha
| Press. S.
A distant relative The rich old uncle
who won't speak to you.---YeU Yor&5
Journal. - IS (; IS
When you feel it is all for the worst.
it cheers you greatly to be told IT y sod all
for the best. = u fsi
1t is easier to take things philosoph-
ically than it is to part with them
phi!osophically. .s
We have high opinion Of the intelli-S
pence of the man who takes our advice.
-Nee York Journal. 81
| If you want to get up with the lark IN
the morning keep away from the swal-
lows at night.-Yonke1Y Gazette. IS
"Going to the donkey party to-
night2" "No, SIR" "Well, then, they'll
have to postpone the party. Puck.
The wisest of all mortals is
The man who. dull and slow, "a
Doth silent keep the tongue that's his
Bazaar.
"You say you are here as the
result of sowing wild oats. What did 3
YOU raisc2" Prisoner = "Checks. 80
Punch. sf4sfS sssft
"What was the row at the Zoo this 1
morning2" 1.-THE boa-constricter got
loose and tried to fight with the ire
hose. ."-Lye. 3.
You can't blow up a student waiter
He will stop and argue the point with
you while the soup is getting cold. J.
Teas Sytings.
Mamma--"Why, Johnny! why do you I
call grandma grandma2" johnny
"Coz papa said he was an old woman"
Rarper's Basar. . x5;s
Jack-"That is beautiful dog Diana
Scadhunter leads on the street" Tom
eyes. 1t is trained to point eligible
young men."-P3cs.
She-"Why do you always refer to
music as woman9" He-''Well, you (
couldn't conceive of music as existing IN
silence, could youa"-Lye.
Husband-"You look very happy to- J.
night, my dear" Wiie-"Well, why
shouldn't I? I made twenty calls to-
day and found everybody out. ."-Nsw
York Journal. :
Though coldly sweeps tho night breszs Ger :
the lea,
It chilleth not the autumn girls affection
As sheltered by her lovers strong arms she
Rejoices in the doctrine OF protection.
-Ne,v York Press.
"Oh, do tell me-" said Mrs. Chambers
to the tailor's wife, "what is the tailor's
goose?" 81 am," replied the woman,
sadly, "for marrying Mr.. Snlps."-
Detroit Free Press.
An Austin SIinn.) COW is the proud
vet puzzled mother of u young animal
that seems to be half calf and half bear.
She ought to start board of trade with
it. Chicago Tribune.
When the mercury monkeys with zero
For several weeks together, ~
Then we may remark, without stretching
the truth, .st
"There are no flies on this weather."
-Ne,D York Journal
Won Crussher-"After the encourage
ment you have given me, to refuse NE IS
"a bitterly rude thing to do" Laura
"And to accept you would be still
more bitterly rued thing. ."-Pitts1ury
Bulletin.
Tommy-"Papa, I was playing with
the sickle this morning and I fell down
and cut 8 finger" Papa-"Did you
cry" Tonmy-':Nops, but Willie
did" Papa-"What did Willie cry
for!" Tommy-"It was Willie's finger
I cut. Brooklyn Citizen.
"Rosin is a very fine violinist." "He
is, indeed; but there is something strange
about his musical ability" "There
ISL" "Yes; he plays first fiddle in the
orchestra, but plays second fiddle at
home. and his wife isn't much of .
musician either. ."-Cape Cod Item,