Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-12-09

requisite ln1OrlnatlOn, run loI OuiSc'-
Time.
1t is natural that in times of excite
ment a mans head should spin, for II
Is the top of his body.-Boston Post.
A Venerable Sinner-Venus-"HOw
steadily the earth jogs along. Mars
Yes, but just look at the moon-ful
IS goat!-Life.
1t Belonged to Him.-Barber (to
granger)-Your head is very dirty,
sir. Granger-It's none of your darn
business if it is.-Epoch.
An Appropriate Name.-Jones-
Say, Brown, why do you call your eld.
EST boy Telephone? Browne-Because
he never works.-Epoch.
Natural-''This coffee is very
muddy this morning" eyes, dear,
but you must remember how upset
things are in Brazil. New York
Sun.
One reason why a fat man doesn't
catch cold as easily as lean man, i:
because he is so much wrapped up il
himself.--Burlingto Free Press.
She Cat the piano)-'Listenl How
do you enjoy this refrain?" He
every muchl The more you refair
the better like it. t."-Musical Courier
Professional beat (to hotel pro.
prietor)-'Is there any danger of fire
here?" Proprietor-"Not if you settle
for your board in advance. ."-Bostor
Herald.
For short - Miss Beacon Hill
"What is your brothers name2'
Miss Wabash-''Lucullu Swinburne
Hobbs, but we call him Gully 70,
short. Puck.
Caught 1t at Last.-F'irst boy Gin sur.
prise) )-"Why, l heard you ran off to
join a circus. Didn't you catch it?'
Second boy-"Not till l got back
home. New York Sun.
Examiner-"Can you give an in
stance of a person melting another to
perjury" Candidate-''Yes; when
the court asks female witness how
old she is."-'exas Siftings.
Footpad-"Hold up yer handsl'
Pedestrian (calmly)-'I have been
out shopping all day with my wife"
Footpad (sympathetically) - by
Jinks! Here, take this quarter. -
New York Weekly.
An Awful Possibility-Aunt Keziah
Kitty, so you're to be mar
ried?" Kitty-"yes, aunt, Providence
permitting; but wouldn't it be awful
if that dress shouldn't Gomez
Time.
Young Wife-"A horrid rat ate one
of those lovely canaries my husband
got me, and that's why got a catn
Matron-''Wen?" Young wife
''And then the cat ate the other."-
Life.
A Little Materially goodness!,
said she. "Thats hardly worth men.
tioning," said her spiteful ncighbor in
her splteful way. And now thev
never speak as they pass by.-Somer.
vile Journal.
De Smith--''Hello, Travisl What's
everybody crowding out of the draw
ing-room for? Have refreshments
been announced?' Travis-"No, but
Bloodgood is getting ready to sing. ~
Free Press.
Mrs. Newed-''My dear, what wouId
you think of having mother to dine
with us on Thursday" Mr.. Newed-
"Oh, CUES. l wouldn't; not on
Thursday anyway-that's Thanksgiv.
ing, you know America.
''Do you remember that awfully
smart boy you used to have in your
Smithp" "Oh, ves.
How did he come outP" "He hasn't
come out. He got twenty wears in
Sing Sing New York Commercial
Advertiser.
The Life of a Shetland now
that we are engaged, John, dear, how
long shall the engagement be for?"
He Gan absent-minded lawyer who has
Just drawn up railroad lesse)-"Oh.
years, l s'pose."
Lady Of the House-ssNo, l make !,
q principle never to give away money
at the door" Tramp-"Very well.
if you have any feeling about
It l am perfectly willing that You
should hand it to me out of the win
dow"
Thousands of cases of female dISaaSs ho,o