The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-05-11
PEMBERTON'S BILL.

Oh, yes, she was just the least bit roman
tc-that is, so far as the bon-tOn es-
thetic BOstOnese will allow herself to be-
come. The sweet witch knew that he was
an aspiring dramatist
He was!
No, she didn't know how confoundedly
impecunious he was, but Pemberton did.
He was the cad from whom Harvey rented
bis apartments.
Pemberton knew the Staltonthals. and
Pemberton also attended the Trinity
services, and this particular Sunday after
noon as the future American dramatist liu-
gered about at the portals at the close to
catch one glance at those seraphic eyes, he
looked up suddenly, and there, in the vestl-
bule, stood the StaltonthalS-
And Pemberton-
Pemberton talking to them, and he four
months in arrears for rent.
Pemberton! Great snakes and exposing
his poverty TO the Staltonthals.
Pembertonl Hades and horrorl And
they aughing-laughing at him. She,
too-her father, the great Staltonthal-her
mOther-all of them-laughing at his i'm
cuniosity-laughing at him for trying to
become a great author-at bimi for hang
Trinity
He rushed home like the wind and when
there acted like a whirlwind. Well, you
can Just imagine how fellow like him
wOud act under like circumstances. Why
he even thought of committing suicide.
Then he sat down and poured out the tide
of his sorrows in passionate letter TO his
sister-sweet si5ter-happy, miserable, to
have sister to whom he could pour forth
his woes He told in this what great things
he might do if he only had the means. On,
how great he would become; how rich and
famous! Really, the poor devil felt heart
broken.
Then he took the poetry and inscribed a
delectable stanZa to the angel or Trinity,
and took Pemberton's bill and wrote on the
back of it an ELUSIVE apology. These he
mailed, and came back TO toss Oh pillow
of anxiety and sigh to dream Of love lost
to him forever.
know that Pemberton got the poem and
Mabel got Pemberton's bill by the next
days mail?'
you were there the next evening and
heard them all laugh at Harvey's expense
Well, that is good. Pemberton read the
poem, did he-miserable PembertOn? And
they laughed at Mabel about her romantic
lover? Well, it was cruel, although natu-
raj Anu MhU6i lCdO tuC 4OttOA W LILO otS-
ter, did she?'
An, yes, friend; and now will tell you a
little bit of that evenings incident which
you do not think know.
The result of that laughter at Harvey's
expense was that you got The mitten right
then and there, because that little angel of
Trinity was too sweet a lady not to appre-
ciate the pathOs Of the letter Harvey had
written his sister, and that is just what
did it.
They all laughed. but Mabel cried, and
when she went to her papa and asked him
if he couldn't help Harvey in his business
somehow and give you the bounce, 1t wasn't
in vain, because Statonthal thinks Mabel is
first-class angel in every particular-and
so do l.
There, do not get excited, old fellow, it's
all over now. [ was lnconSolable. toe,
until l saw Harvey's sister-and went on
Just as you are doing now; and, In fact,
Harvey himself was acting In much the
same manner when PembertOn came in the
next morning with what Harvey expected
would be a notice to leave. But 1t wasn't
Pemberton held the poem in his hand.
Here's your poem, Mr.. Campbell. re-
turn il with thanks Glad you love me so
dearly. Happy to know that you think I'm
an angel--needn't bother yourself about the
rent; that's all right. It's worth years
rent for bald-headed, bow-legged man like
am TO be called the seraphic incarnation
of every grace. Ia, ia, Campbell, ia. Ia.
And Pemberton was gone.
So was Harvey, gone clean crazy, all out
of his head. He realized the mistake that
he had made in mailing that poem to Penn
berton.
What If Mabel had received Pemberton's
bill in answer to It'll Horrors.
You can't blame him if he did act as you
are doing now.
But the best part of 1t was that just as he
was wildly asking himself that question
there came musical knock at the door,
and lord of light, there stood Mabel herself,
laughing out of those eYerlastingly bewitch-
ing eyes Of hers and suppressing the sweet
est kind of a giggle as she extended an
envelope with her little hand and said:
This is letter which l have received
by some mistake. Mr.. Campbell, and be-
longs to a-a-Mr. P-P-Pem-Pember-
ton" Aud the vision vanished.
Serpents and wildcatsl She had received
Pemberton's bill.
wild-revenged.
Oh, yes, he was wild enough. You were
reyeDged. Then StaltOnthaFs fOotman
came to the door and he bore a letter.
what new horror Is ths?" cried the au-
thor, dramatic as his favorite hero could
possibly be.
i" A letter which Mrs Staltonthal wishes
me to return to you, as it was sent her by
mistake" and the footman disappeared.
Harvey took this last misSive in his hand
and found that he had sent his sisters let
ter TO the Staltonthals also.
Then the atmosphere grew as blue as the
blood of the StaltOnthalS.
Another knock.
"Great heavens, what next2" cried the
great American dramatiSt of the future as
he opened the door and confronted Station
thai himself. docs 1t rain Staltonthals?
Have / sent another letter to some one else?
Is this Staltonthal reception, or has my
poetry drawn upon my luckless head the
inevitable fate that overtakes the poet at
last2 Have you come to kill me for daring
/ 10 look at"
My daughterP" said Staltonthal, In his
most blue bl0Odcd tones "Oh, no. But
we have had deal of amusement about
those letters at our house, you know, espe-
caliy Pemberton's bill, and we have put up
little job on you, don't you know, coming
up here one after another. It's funny from
our side, you know, and its really worth
something I've heard you were clever,
real clever Your poetry is fine. My Mabel
is just such girl as you have painted her,
Well both agree on that Shake
Harvey took StaltonthaPs hand in q maze
of mild bewilderment.
snow comewith me down to the Boston
and see Mr.. Tompkins, and | think we'll get
you on your dramatic legs if capital will do
it. Come on. l mean It,"
"WellV
Oh, yes; that's the way it was done. The
play was Sky-scraper-a regular go-and
so was Harvey.
Yes. they reside with the brides parents,
Arlington street. Boston.
MYSELF
On, no; don't go and drown yourself.-Ex.
THE DEACON COOLED OFF