Sharp County record., 1891-08-27

the United States 1t makes no differ
ence how poor the flesh and blood in
fant's parents may be or nov difficult
they may find to keep it alive AMI
warm, that tax must be paid toward
the support of the other infant
But flesh and blood babies must sleep
under blankets in winter time. This is
lovely thing for the great blanket in
FAINT industry, for every flesh and blood
baby in the land can be made to pay
something toward the support Of this
infant. Here is what the live baby
pays to the blanket baby: Blankets
worth not over 80 cents per pound,
duty 81 per cent; worth from 80
to 40 cents per pound, duty 9S per cent;
worth from 40 to so cents per pound,
duty 1O1 per cent; worth from so to 60
cents per pound, duty 119 per cent;
worth from so to 80 cents per pound,
duty 95 per cent; worth above so cents
per pound, duty II per cent
Thus the live infant pays from II to
l19 per cent to the blanket infant.
Oddly enough the live baby, whose pa
rents can afford to buy blankets worth
above so cents per pound, gets off with a
tax of II per cent Somehow the tariff
makers always had tenderness for
wealth. The fact is that a great many
of them are millionaires and a fellow
feeling makes them wondrous kind. 1t
was easy enough to let up on S0-cent
blankets while 6O-cent blankets paid
119 per cent. duty.
Linen is one of the things that go to
make babies pretty. 1t was a baby
clad in linen long clothes that drew forth
from Charles Lamb famous whimsical
witticism. AS they carried the little
one past the gentle Charles he grasped
the wealth of flowing linen, and feeling
upward toward the baby's tiny toes
stammered out "Wh-where does it
leave OFF," Those long clothes are
taxed, you may be sure. Here is what
the tariff schedule says; "Sheets and
all other manufactures of wearing ap-
parel made in whole or in part of linen
and not otherwise provided for, IS per
cent"
Then there are the laces and pretty
bits of linen that go to sweeten the
faces of small humanity; they too are
taxed. Laces, insertings, embroideries,
so per cent duty. But lest something
might escape the tax, the tariff makers
placed duty of from 70 to 1913 per cent
upon women's and children's dress
goods. Then they realized that the
living baby must have soap to keep
him clean, and they clapped tax of
from 20 to Al per cent on soap. While
they were about it they put tax of 20
per cent on the sponge with which the
baby is washed Of course they taxed
the baby's cradle and his carriage, Just
as they taxed the comb for his hair and
the bone teething ring.
But you would have supposed that
the proposed lovers of infants would
have paused when they came to toys.
How could they deliberately go about
making poor defenseless baby pay
more than the market value for his
trumpery rattle? They could, how
ever "Ah toys !" said they. every
body must have toys, and now is our
opportunity" So saying, they con-
cocted this provision of the tariff:
Dolls, doll heads, toy marbles, of
whatever material composed, and all
other toys not composed of rubber,
china, porcelain, parian bisque, earthen
or stoneware, and not specifically pro-
vided for, So per cent.
Perhaps you think they relented
when they reached toys of china, rub
Der and all that, and decided to let
them in free. Every child now
has a rubber rattle, and thousands
of featureless rubber dolls make
American nurseries hideous. True,
and the tariff makers had those very
facts in mind when they omitted rub
ber toys from the list Of articles duti-
able at 35 per cent. Here is what they
did about that; China, porcelain,
parian, bisque, earthen and stone
toys, painted, tinted, stained, en-
amelcd, printed, gilded or other
wise decorated or painted in any
manner go per cent. duty; toys com
posed of rubber, So per cent. duty.
There you have it all. The baby
must pay for his whistle. lie can have
no fun without tax. He must take up
his load Of tariff taxation and carry it
to his grave, and his heirs must pay
tariff tax on his shroud and coffin.
Even the fire.crackers with which ho
celebrates the Fourth of July and
learns his first noisy lesson in patriot
ism, are taxed 100 per cent