The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-05-15
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Epicurean.-Wa:t you pre-.
fer dry champagne?" Country Bride
groom-"O, no; wet."-Jury.
-Charles-"Mabel do you love meP''
Mabel-'More than 1 love anybody
else in the world, save one" Charles
"W-Who's that?" Mabel-'Myself."
what is repentance" asks con-
temporary. AS rule, repentance is be-
ing sorry when it is too late to do any
good.-N. Y. Recorder.
-Smith-"Well, Doc, are you and
Miss Nubbs engaged yet?" DIR. Pellet
30, no; she wouldn't even give me
her hand, when she felt sick the other
night, to feel her pulse. Light.
IVAN Rensselaer, Gaasbuckman
Haslingbury, the poet, was forty years
making name for himself" 81 should
think he might have been. It's such
Tremendously large name."-Harper's
Bazaar.
-Halfseas-"Yes, I never stay very
late for I know there's a little wife
waiting at home for me-" Henry Peck
-"And I never forget that there's lit
tie wife who comes after me."-America.
He Ia new acquaintance)-'T don't
think anything of going two or three
days without eating" Shc-"Why, you
must be a poet"-CleIeland Plain
Dealer.
"A Confession. - Mrs. Flipfop -
"Flipfop, YOU are an old fool. Did you
never arrive at the years of discretion?"
Fliphop-"No, my dear, 1 didn't. L
married. Chicago Times.
ibid you have good time at Eva's
party?" NO" replied little Maud 81
didn't expect to have" why did you
go, them" $50 1 could come home
and laugh about it with papa, like
mamma does. N. Y. Recorder.
ut is absolute protection against
fire." said the salesman. when fire
starts this Indicator tells anybody who
happens to be near it just where the
blaze is and" YES" replied Skig-
lets testify. land then lose the insur-
ance.' Washington Post.
-She-"It's disgusting to see people
so demonstrative in public places.
Who's that man across the street who
kisses his wife and baby on the door.
| step when he leaves every morning?"
He-"That's Dobson, who writes cyni-
cal paragraphs on matrimony." Epoch.
Quite Different. - Police Officer
"What is the matter with the lady?''
1.-THE poor woman fell down because
there were no ashes on the sidewalk"
$50! l will take down the number OF
the house" sit was in front of the
| station house." so, in front of the
station house! You must try to make
the best of it, my dear madam."-Flie.
gende Blatter.
"A western man was touring through
the east. In passing a meadow he heard
the driver say: abandon the direct
progression to the straight thitherward,
and deviate by inclinatory and aberrant
dextrogyration into dextral incidence"
1t was an amateur Boston farmer say.
| ing, Gee Buck" to his yoke of oxen.
True Happiness. Mrs. Muggers-'l
see prominent society belle is dead
If there ever was a perfectly blissfu'
existence on earth, she enjoyed it while
she lived" Mr.. Muggers-"Becaust
she was society BELIEF" Mrs. Mug
gers-'No. Because she was engaged
twenty-four times and never married.
-Demorest's Monthly.
"A Brooklyn man swallowed a pin
on Sunday and it was Monday night
before he was declared out of danger
But Brooklyn woman could probably
have held half the pins in paper in hei
mouth. discussed the beauties of her
spring bonnet, leased her husband out
of pin" money and slippered Johnny
before she started him off for school all
in the same Observation-Disclosures Union