davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Woman is coming right along. 1t
is said that about one-third of them
are engaged in remuneratiye employ
ment, and no doubt many more are
anxious to be engaged.-Lowell
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

You've got to raise the wind if you
want to be heavy swell at the sea-
shore. Washington Star.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Killing a foe with kindness is like
eating soup with fork-feasible per-
baps, but awfully tiresome.-New
York Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

We imagine that a grizzly must
have bearytone voice-Binghamton
Republican.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

About the only thing that a man
wishes to wrap himself in these eve
nings is slumber.-Ashland Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

1t was a Chicago editor who rhym-
ed cafe with safe.-New York Record
er,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

An Albany man recently stole an
eight day clock. The judge made it
ten days for him.-Yonkers States
man.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

"Well," snarled Mr.. Topnoody, 81
don't see much difference between an
idiot with his mouth open or an idiot
with his mouth shut"
"And you have such large mouth,
too" murmured Mrs. Topnoody
dreamily. And Mr.. Topnoody kick
ed the cat half way across the room.
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Kate-I'm not going to have Clar-
ence Bashley call on me any more.
He's too bashful for anything.
Della-How is he?
Kate-Why, l asked how long his
arm was, and he said 32 inches. l
then told him that was just the size of
my waist, and he never did anything.
Boston Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15
O. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
win take charge of estates for residents and non.
residents collect rents, pay taxes place insurance
obtain abstracts Of title, etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A Nj, A to- 6P.M.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Daily. Daily except Sunday. Parlor car on
day trains and sleeping cars on night trains
j. WHITING, Ticket Agent
RUGGLES G.. =. T. Agt
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Miss Simpson-"Aren't things much
cheaper this year than they were last?'''
Calloway-"Yes, indeed. I only
pay one-half as much for my neck
ties. The difference is so great that
now (smiling) / could easily afford o
get married."
Miss Simpson-"Oh. Mr.. Galloway,
this is so sudden !"-Clothier and
Furnisher.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Hicks-Why is it l always find
my hat in the very last place I look
for it?
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Au old man was on the witness
stand and was being cross-examined
by the lawyer.
"You say you are doctor, sir'
Yes, sir; yes sir"
"What kind of doctor 2"
IL make intments, sir, I make int
ments."
Whats your ointments good for ?"
Its good to rub Oh the head to
strengthen the mind"
What effect would it have If you
we're to rub some of it on my head ?"
"None at all, sir none at all. We
must have something to start with
Gainesville Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Mrs. Hicks--As usual thing when
you find it you know enough to stop
looking.-New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Father of Eleven Daughters (prow-
ling about with lighted lamp
"There's one of the girls that hasn't
come in yet"
Mother of Same-"I think you are
mistaken, William. They're all up
stairs"
81 know what I'm talking about,
Elizabeth. There's only ten wads of
gum on the back of this bureau
Chicago Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15

Hostess-"My dear Miss Howler,
won't you sing something for us? I'm
afraid people are finding things fear
fully dull"
Miss Howler-"Really, Mrs.
Brown, I'm afraid you must excuse
me. I'm awfully hoarse tonight"
Hostess-"Oh, my dear, that won't
make the slightest difference. No.
body will listen, for they'll all begin
to talk directly you begin to sing, and
! just want something to start the
conversation. Boston Beacon.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15
WIT AND HUMOR.


WIT AND HUMOR.
1t was a Chicago editor who rhym-
ed cafe with safe.-New York Record
er.
We imagine that a grizzly must
have bearytone voice-Binghamton
Republican.
You've got to raise the wind if you
want to be heavy swell at the sea-
shore.-Washington Star.
The ladies' man is so called be.
cause he usually isn't good for any
thing else.-Somerville Journal.
About the only thing that a man
wishes to wrap himself in these eve-
nings is slumber.-Ashland Press.
An Albany man recently stole an
eight day clock. The judge made it
ten days for him.-Yonkers States
man.
Killing a foe with kindness is like
eating soup with fork-feasible per-
haps, but awfully tiresome.-New
York Tribune.
Maud hate to think that you'd
throw yourself at Fred.
Mamie-Why not? He's a good
catch.-Brooklyn Life.
He-How chilly it is tonight. l
could hug up to a stove l feel so cold.
She-Is that so Why I'm so warm
feel just like stove.-Boston Her.
aid.
Woman is coming right along. 1t
is said that about one-third of them
are engaged in remuneratiye employ
ment, and no doubt many more are
anxious to be engaged.-Lowell
Courier.
Hicks-Why is it l always find
my hat in the very last place l look
for it?
Mrs. Hicks--As usual thing when
you find it you know enough to stop
looking.-New York Herald.
Gam as dear to you as ever,
George 7" asked the wife, caressingly.
"My love-" answered George, can
didly, "since you took to tailor-made
clothes you grow dearer and dearer
every day."-New York Press.
"Did they give you anything at the
farm house! ?" asked Pete, the tramp.
eyes. Pair O. boots"
"Whatcher done with 'em ?"
81 left them where they were. On
the farmers feet" New York Her.
aid.
"Well," snarled Mr.. Topnoody, :"
don't see much difference between an
idiot with his mouth open Or an idiot
with his mouth shut"
"And you have such large mouth,
too" murmured Mrs. Topnoody
dreamily. And Mr.. Topnoody kick.
ed the cat half way across the room.
Free Press.
Kate-I'm not going to have Clar-
ence Bashley call on me any more.
He's too bashful for anything.
Della-How is he?
Kate-Why, l asked how long his
arm was, and he said 32 inches. /
then told him that was just the size Of
my waist, and he never did anything.
Boston Herald.
Miss Simpson-"Aren't things much
cheaper this year than they were last?''
Calloway-"Yes, indeed. l only
pay one-half as much for my neck
ties. The difference is so great that
now (smiling) could easily afford to
get married"
Miss Simpson-"Oh. Mr.. Galloway,
this is so sudden v'-Clothier and
Furnisher.
Father of Eleven Daughters (prow-
ling about with a lighted lamp
There's one of the girls that hasn't
come in yet"
Mother Of Same-"I think you are
mistaken, William. They're all up
stairs"
81 know what I'm talking about,
Elizabeth. There's only ten wads of
gum on the back of this bureau
Chicago Tribune.
----------------------------
Hostess-"My dear Miss Howler,
won't you sing something for us I'm
afraid people are finding things fear
fully dull"
Miss Howler-"Really, Mrs.
Brown, I'm afraid you must excuse
me. I'm awfully hoarse tonight"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-15
MIGHIGANCENTRAL

"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
LITERARY NOTES.

With its January eth issue. which will
81 the first number of its thirty-efghth
vSlume, the Forest and Stream will be
Permanently enlarged from twenty-eight
10 thirty-two pages. This change has
been made necessary by the growth of
the special interests to which the paper is
dsvoteu, aud by the corresponding re-
qhiremenL OF more space for their ade-
qtate presentation. The enlargement Is
10 be taken. say the Publishers, as an
ERNEST of their purpose to maintain for
THE Forest and Stream the character it
hds so long enjoyed as the representative
sFbrtman's Journal of America.
tThe Shadow of Shame"-a bad title
fol a very good book-has been issued
OILY SIX weeks, but has already reached a
81 h edition. The author, Austyn Gran
vile, bids fair to rival in popularity his
fa{ bous cousin, Rider Haggard.
he large advance orders for"Congress
m Swanson" by C. c. Post. nave COM
pd ed the publishers, Charles H. Sergel
g. Co., to delay publication for a few
" ks. Present indications point to a
Ia Der sale for this story than for Mr..
Pst's other book, "Driven from Sea to
Seh." OF which more Than fifty thousand
copies have been sold.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
DR.. Ege,s Communion Theory

DIR. Ege's Communion Theory.
Dr. John Eye, a Pennsylvania bac-
tkriologist, says that there is danger Of
Contracting disease from the cup
hssed to communicates who kneel at
the chancel rail to receive the sacra-
9ent of the Lords supper. He sug-
gests, therefore, that every commune
Can't should have his W cup. DR..
Hge may be right as to his bacteria
and tine danger, but THE News begs
to protest against the cup innovation.
II communicates were to carry their
caps to church with them it strikes us
that to see a man devoutly kneel at
the chancel rail and produce a cup
fiom his coat pocket would somewhat
dbtract from the sacred character of
tie event and might have a tendency
t@make the unthinkingl laugh. And if
tie cups were kept at the church it
Wbuld make the chancei look too
much like a barber shop on Sunday
morning. No cups, please.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
%Cornoration. Notice.

Notice Is hereby given that on the f4th day OF
september. lssl, appiication was made to The Board
merly ana others for the improvement of
.ACAsoN AVENUE
avenue. in the Following manner. including all
intersections:
graded 10 the established grade by excsvatIng or
filing The same TO the established grade
To have the carriageway paved with Belgian
10 have the present bridge stone crosswalks re
laid and new bridge stone laid where necessary.
And all other work done that may he necessary
10 provide for the fiow o the surface water and 70
compiete the improvement in a god and substan-
y Notice IS also given that on the 2sd day OF
November, 1871, the Commit 'sioners OF Assessment
property viii probably be assessed and the prob
land; elso the p opable amount II asse' sment per
foot Of frontage for the safi Improvement, and
the same is now opon TO. public Inspection in the
once OF the Clerk OF the Roard Of Street and
Water commissioners. 81
and notice is also given that TIE following
are included in said asse ssment:
JACKSON avenue from Newark s. N. Y. R.R. 70
Virgins avenue from jackson avenue to q point
about :ah feet south thereof.
fge avenue from jackson avenue about 5l1.4 feet
norm and 80 feet soutu-
Kearney avenue from Jackson avenue. about 6l.a
feet north and so feet south. a,
Orient avenue from Jackson avenue about 1881
fee1 north and Ni.e1 feet south.
ClaremO mt avenue on the east side from Jackson
avenue about 61s6 feet north and 72.21 feet south
lnd that The 2th day of December, 1881. at l
Of Street ana Mator Iommist toners, are hereby
hxed as the time and place when and where the
meet TO hear rarties in crested in said application
and all rrmonstrance AGAINST the said improve
msn1 drga ma n9 II, be {E Gsse IS e, N wr ana water com.
GEO. 7. nouToN.
Dated JERSEY City. December IsL 1851
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

Jas Thin as the Tissue Paper Itself
The protectionist organs jubilantly
announce that tissue paper is now
made in Jersey City-under the pro-
visions of the Mckinley bill. We are
willing TO concede that this is an ex-
tellent thing for the gentlemen who
conduct the mills, but how about the
$4,000, 600 people in this country
who must pay toll to the owners of
one tissue paper factory in Jersey
City? The interests of "a, 600, 900 peo-
ple shonld certainly be superior to
the interests of a dozen, in a country
whose motto is 1.-The good of the many
against the benefit of the few"
The claim that the domestic tissue
baper can now be sold at one-fourth
Of the price of the imported article
Doesn't prove that the home made
article is cheap. When an article is
faxed, say four times its value, the
home maker may easily sell his pro-
Duct for one-fourth the value of the
Imported article since the importer
bust put four values on his goods for
the tax alone.
But to claim that the domestic arti-
Gle can be sold at o%ne-fourth of the
fhir price OF the imported article, and
that the domestic manufacture still
1eeds the protection" of a prohibit
tive customs duty is about as thin
as the tissue paper the claim repre-
sbnts
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NEW JERSEY POULTRY.
Tie Interest Import ant Enough to Need
IAN Organization.

Special to the Jersey City Nc1s.
trenton, Dec. IL. 1S91.-The New Jer-
sek State Poultry Association ut its an
nual meeting elected these officers for the
enkuing year:-President, T. Wilton Hill,
Jaknesbur9: secretary, b. II. WINS, Tren
toh; Treasurer. D.. J. c. Maple. Trenton;
Executive Committee, John E. Diehl,
Beverly Chairman: j. H. Dreyenstedt,
Beverly, Secretary; 4. Farrer Rackhain.
East Orange; w. S. Andrews. Hacken-
saEk; C. E. Paxton md j. g. Hayes; dele
gate to the STATE Board of Agriculture,
e.. s. Hamill, Jainesburg. Tine vice
presidents, representatives Of tine couu-
ties, are Nj. X. Bower. Is. j.. Andrns. II.
I. Buda, w. w. Hewitt, j. B. Huff. DIR.
A. 4. Beckett, e. S. Hamill. G. r. De
Hart. Elmer Day and NJ. Davenport.
The se~cretary's report showed the pur-
pose of holding n SHOW IN Camden to
have been abandoned in favor OF the
~Philadelphia exhibition. The PROPOSITION
TO hold an exhibition nj the close of the
show season in Newark WAS defeated.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
LOTS OF HARMaAY-yUST NOW.

y FTUHt Tue tVHsuEU7 LVHT ftT'
On his return from his Western tour.
Chauhcey Depew was heard to say, as the
result of his observations. that Blaine
can get the nomination at Minneapolis If
he wants it," From this it would appear
that there will be no struggle over the
Nomination at Minneapolis, chat is. if Mr..
Blaine says so; but should he persist in
declining TO accept, then there is every
probability of President Harrison's re-
n~oE:ination without any serious OPPOSITE
ioh from any quarter. Everything will
be harmonious at Minneapolis.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
Highest Of all in Leavenng I'll latest Z. S. Govt Report
R@ q! B Bsx5sz
ABSOLUTELY PURE
ABSOLUTELY PURE

most satisfactory. Thread of all
shades, especially put up in twists for
glove mending, can be bought for a
trifie. If a glove is badly torn or
ripped try to match its color with a
bit of silk. Lay this under the torn
part and haste it carefully down in
small stitches that do not show on the
right side. Then draw the rip up as
carefully as you can, taking up very
little of the kid as you do so. Neat
glove mending is a nice art, and
worthy the consideration OF every
economical woman.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

REPUBLICAN harmony is a great
thing. Ii Blaine wants the nonina-
Htion he can navn it. II he doesn't
want it and HARRISON does, .hen Ben
splays Jack Horner and takes the pium
tout of. the pudding. But suppose
they both happen to want it? That's
IA contingency the Republican har-
hnonizers don't seem to have provided
for.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

Estare OF George glaker.. deceased. Mary
deceased. by order of the Surrogate OF
Hudson County. dated November q. 1891, hereby
gives notice 10 the creditors OF said decedent to
bring In their debts. demands and claims against
the estate Of said decedent. under oath or afirna-
tion, within nine months from the date OF said
order, or they will be forever barred OF any action
therefor against said exeoutrtx-
MARY JANE BLAKEY.
Claims to be presented at the ONCE OF 4. b Sey-
mour. Weldon Building. Jersey city. NJ J.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
Failures of the Week,
Taxes Coming in Rapidly.

City Collector P. H. O'Neill and Deputy
unusually busy in receiving taxes. In
the last twelve days $609. 1884. 6S has been
handled by these gentlemen. In twenty
four days last year, but S713, 043. 63 was re-
ceived. The receipts yesterday exceeded
$40 OO0.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
The Language of Flowers.

The language of flowers is a study
at once interesting and innocent. Gull
tivating, as it does, a taste for the
works of nature, filling the soul with
the sweetest emotions, and most en-
chanting phases of a beautiful world
full of wonders. Following are a few OF
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

The Board Of Education OF Harrison
has instructed It's secretary to issue notice
toIthe parents OF children attending the
public school. that unless all pupils are
vnScinated they will not be allowed to at
tend school. Il was also ordered that
with the ending Of this mont the night
school be closed,
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

THE president of q western Farm
ers' Alliance says that boards of trade
are mutual admiration societies and
fulfill their purpose admirably. Our
western granger friends shouldn't
becoms discouraged because there
happens to be a little hitch in the Jer-
5sey City Board once in awhile. b.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

Estate OF james c. lindsay, deceased, Mary a.
Lindsay ana James {. Lindsay. executors of
James @. Lindsay. deceased. by order OF
the Deputy Surrogate of Hudson County.
dated October . 1874. hereby give notice 10 tns
creditors OF sail decedent to bring in their debs.
demands and ella inns against tie estate OF said
decedenL under oath or affirmation within nine
months from the date OF said order. or they VIII bS
forever barred OK any action therefor against said
MARY 4. LfNBSAY.
1AIES Z. LINDSAY.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

PURE DRINKING WATER
is ESSENTIAL TO HEALTH.

Il B5SEN iIAL TO HEhkNus
Passaic water Is harmful and dangerous unless
passed through the germ proof rubes 1T the Pasteur
Filter. this Is the only altering medium In exist
euce which frees water from all germs OK disease.
from all animal and vegetable substances. lou
criuk pure water, clear as q crystal after 1t has
passed through the germ.proof tubes, no maiter
from what source the supply may como. Filters
Of all sizes and for ali purposes. Call and investt-
gate Or send for catalogue, 1883 broadway. near
tn str Get. New YORK.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
Pastor Right III.

the Rev. P. G. Blight, of the Lafayette
NJ. 4. Caurch, is conlined to ais bed with
a snvere attack of lllue IS. He will not be
able to preach Sunday and his place will
be filed by the Rev. butcher of the Grace
N. r.. Church.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

THE Trenton Times iubilantly re-
marks that "a free coinage bill can
not be passed over the Presidents
veto.n But if only Democrats are in
this free silver business how is such a
bill ever TO get through the Senate
and reach the Presidents veto? &
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12

NEW JERSEY Republican Organs
ire greatly comforted by the dikcov-
Try that Speaker Crisp was born in
England and therefore a never be
President of the United States,
sven Tor Ave minutes. Well, Perhaps
Mr.. Crisp is glad Of it, too. He may
be, il being President compels a fell
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

Estate OF Frederick W. Mass. deceased. Augusta
Mass, executrix of Frederick W. Mass. deceased.
by order OF the Deputy Surrogate of hudson Coun-
ty. dated October {. 1891, hereby gives notice to the
creditors Of said cecedent 70 bring in their debts.
demands and claims against the estate of said de-
cedent, under oath or Affirmation, within nine
months from the d ale OF said order, or they WILDE
forever barred of any action therefor az ainst said
executrix.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

ence B. Clerihew. executrix OF George w. Clerihe W
deceased, by order Of the Surrogate of Hud
notice TO the creditors Of said decedent to bring
in their debts demands and claims against
tion. within nine months from tine date of saio or
der. or they win % forever barred OF any action
therefor against said executrtx.
FLORENCE b CLERIHEW.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE no CREDITORS

Estate of Frederick smith, deceased. Catharine
Smith, adminfst ark of Frederick Smith. de-
ceased. by order OF the Surrogate of Hudson Coun'
ty, dated october II. 1891. hereby gives notice to the
creditors of said deeedent to bring i'll their deots,
demands ana claims against the estate OF said de-
cedent.s under oath or affirmation. within nine
months from the date of saia order. or they will be
forever barred Of any action therefor against sad
administrators.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-12
NOTICE or srrTLEMENr.

Notice is hereby given that the account of tho
subscriber, adm inistratrix with will annexed OF
Patrick Fitzpatrick, deceased. will be audited and
stated by the Surrogate OF the County of Hudson
and renorted for settlement on Friday, the 10Th DAY
Of January, 1892.
Dated November H. A. D. 1891.
CATHARINE FITZPATRICK.
nj lotto OF SETTLEMENT.
Notice Is hereby given that the final account of
the subscriber, administrator of Albert W. Cowan,
deceased. will be audited and stated by the surro-
settlement on Friday. the slsG day Of December
next.
Dated October s. A. u. 1891.
WILLIAM II. HALLowELL.