The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-04-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

In times of financial panic, even words
fail.
Did they write Hog Latin with pig
pen9
A domestic tyrant-General House
work.
A reliable trade mark-Hardened
hands.
APPLY named-The "Cornerstone" of
the Stock Exchange. e.-Puck.
Beauty is but skin deep, and frequently
it hardly gets below the powder.
"Jay Gould is a very silent man."
eyes, but then, you know, his money
talks"
can phwy d. yees cahl yer stove an
Iniun range, Pat2" "Faix, beca'se it's
good hater. ."--Puck.
Why are colts like rich mems sons2
Because they won't work until they arc
broke. PittSburg Dispatch.
Never Judge an insurance company by
the quality of the blotting paper it gives
away.-Ne,o York Continent.
Let who will make the country's laws,
Here most of us would serve her cause,
Content in helping make her money.
Life.
You can't tell how valuable girls
affections are until you are sued for
blighting set of them.-Ndrtha's Viae-
gard Herald.
Student-"Did Stanley dicover the
African Pygmies, do you gather!" Pro-
fessor di Gamma-"Yes; he and He
rodotus. ."-Puck.
A boss of street laborers is looking
around Tor that "fne Italian hand" that
he has read about, and offers to make
him a foreman.-Puck.
Slangy Artist Would Bel see by
your smile that you're stuck on my joke"
Editor---"Yes,I 1 would be if Iaccepted it.
Good day."-Ne1o York World.
''Where are you going, my pretty maidg'
"I'm going to catch me man." she said.
Cast me your bait my pretty maid"
"pm fishing, sir, for man. she said.
--NelU York Sur.
Grin-"Sce a dog fight2" Barit-
"No; the dogs only stood off and yelped
at each other" Grin-"Ah, a bark
mill, as you might ay."-BH1aIO E1-
press.
Good: Professor to one of his pupils
-"When Alexander was as old as you,
he had already conquered the world"
"But you said he had Aristotle for his
teacher" Fiiegeade Blaetter.
Cumso-"They say Brown has a very
poor memory for faces" Banks-"And
he has. Why, the other day he looked
into the mirror and asked his wife whose
reflection it was he saw. '-BuSy Bee.
The head and the heart in the game of love,
Must play its separate part
But Wen pardon girl cold in the head,
So longs she's not cold in the heart.
Philadelphia Times.
"Don't you ever go to see comedies"
inquired Miss Laura. "No," said miss
Irene. daughter produces wrinkles"
And Miss Irene went on reading the
EDITORS Drawer in HUper'S. Chi
cdg0 Tribune.
/ know that by my boot straps now
l can not lifted be;
But once little red-toppel pair,
Which first in boyhoOd did wear
Much elevated me!
Puck.
al am quite pleased with my son-iu-
law, f." said old Mrs. Pickahaw. "My ln-
duence over him is great. Ever since l
have been at his house he has staid down
town at work until 10 and IL o'clock at
night" --Ne0 Yorb Herald.
Wiie-''You don't tell me that Pro-
fessor A. has been struck dumb2" Hus-
baud-'Yes, last night. And he was
master of seven languages. WIfe-"ls
it possible. Aud was he struck dumb in
all seveu"--ze1as Sytiags.
Choliy---nHeah about Chappie2 Sup
posed TO be dead, you know, but came to
life in his coffin. Queeah, ,yewy queeah. +"
Dolly---"Aw, not SC vewy queeau. They
had put the deah boy into an American
made, shwoud, don't you know. ~
! Indianapolis Journal.
An unfortunate man has obtained
access to rich Baron Rapineau. lie de-
/ picts his misfortunes, his misery, in so
moving a manner that the Baron, with
tears in his eyes aud his voice choked
with sobs, calls to his serl ant. Jean
Put this poor fellow out into the street
He is breaking my heart! !"---PaFis Figaro.
A large quantity of arms imported
into the Congo State, Africa, by the
Dutch Rotterdam Company, have been
] digunaaI of IA A ra.s T., a.. T.. .t.-:.. al