News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1891-12-17
ADVERTISING RATES.
Divorced While the Train Waits.
ONE OF CHAUNCEY NJ. DEPEw's YARNS
TOLD TO AN ENGLISH DUCHESS.

ONE OF CHAUNCEY NJ. DEPEw's YARNS
TOLD TO AN ENGLISH DUCHESS.
When Mr.. Depew was abroad last
summer he was entertained at one of
the great houses in London. and at
dinner one day an elderly duchess
asked him, in all candor and sober
ness, ifit was really true, as she had
been told that America divorce laws
were so lax that hecourts sometimes
grant divorces in half an hour. The
opportunity 10 tell one of his good
stories was too good to be lost, and
so Mr.. Depew answered:
Indeed, it is not true. Such stor-
les are told, duchess, not by your own
countrymen who have been in the
United States-I must admit TO their
credit-but by Americans who delight
in shocking the English people by
outrageous stories about Americans.
Now" said Mr.. Depew, 81 know
of only one state and one town inmy
country where the divofce laws are
so lax as YOU have ust described:
that is a small town in Indiana.
There are two great American rail
ways which have very luxurious
trains-fast trains. One of these
trains passes over the New York Cen
tral railway, over which / have the
honor TO be president, and the other
over the Pennsylvania. Now this
small town, which is famous for its
improper divorces, is on the Pennsyl-
vania. 1t is customary, / believe one
half hour before the limited express
on the Pennsylvania road reaches
that town for the conductor-as YOU
call him in England-to announce
that the train will stop halfan hour
at the next station for those desiring
to obtain divorces, and that the
court house is to the right of the sta
tion and directly across the street.
$50 many Americans, / regret to
say" continued Mr.. Depew gravely,
"avail themselves OF this escape from
matrimony that the PENNSYLVANIA
express is never without passengers.
Sometimes if the divorce has been
mutually agreed upon by husband
and wife they travel together in the
greatest luxury and good will imag-
Unable, and where either party in
tends to marry again it is, not un-
common for the new bride or bride
groom to accompany as third party
the two persons about to obtain
divorce.
"The court is always in session
when the train arrives, so that the
petitions may be flea, cases argued
and DEGREES entered well within the
limit of half an hour, which the rail-
road allows. A clergyman has his
office next door to the court houseso
that one and sometimes both of the
divorced persons may be united to
Others seeking happiness after the
late marriage has been dissolved. So
at the end of half anhour the Chicago
limited resumes its flight westward,
and the couples who came to be di-
vorced have taken other partners
and are already off on their second
| honeymoon!'
''As l proceeded with my story"
said Mr.. Depew in relating the Incl.
dent, the duchess forgot her dessert
| and as l finished she held up both
her hands in horror at this authentic
record of American divorce laws.
! The Indies soon left the table, and.
after the gentlemen had had their
! smoke and returned to the drawing
room, | was amused to see theelderly
duchess surrounded by yascore ofother
| ladies, whose faces reflected the same
horror she had herself expressed to
me as she repeated to them my story
of the limited express divorce"