The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-11-27
sUNFIowBR sILHoUErrEs.

dressed an audience IN his lie That hi
knees did not tremble.
The Kansas corner at the worlds fair i!
growing. To General Clusters stuffed
war-horse will now be added John Browns
fort
Il like Kansas very much" said thu
English tourist. Il was struck with you
lightning, and simply carried away will
your cyclones"
There is a small effort in Kansas on the
part OF the Alliance to number Senator
Plumb among the plutes, but it will hard
ly be successful.
The assertion Is abroad that Judge Bot
kin has never touched drop of liquor
since the impeachment trial. The day fol
impeachment trials is over in Kansas
Kelley is cheaper.
A man must be we'll read to read
Thomas Carlyle. In his French Revolu
ton" he disposes of the American reyolu
ton in one sentence: Boston harbor /:
black with unexpected tea"
A Kansas girl presented at Qneen Vic
toria's drawing room wore gold sunfow'
ers dewed with diamonds. A past COM
mander of the G. A. r. of Kansas present
ed the shan of Persia with jewelled sun
| flower decoration, and sunflower
medallion was one of the presents Of a
Kansas devotees to the pope at his jubilee.
1t is said of Clay Center lawyer, who
is struggling into fame, that when he
made his first appearance before Judge
Foster he hadn't got fairly started on his
second sentence when the judge greeted
him with the savage command: 'Sit
down, sir; your counsel viii speak fol-
you"
Lines on Historical Theology" by Eu-
gene Ware:
When l was young we called it hell, " and
mentioned it with fears;
! Then changed the name to "hades," then
''sheol;" now, In tears,
We've got another, newer name. It's
"Peffer-for six-years.
'The meanest trick ever played on a
man was played on me-" said bleached
looking old chap, yesterday. About
three weeks ago fell insensible and when
came to found that l had been sent to
! Dwight aud been cured"
A characteristic period from John j.
Ingalls,, Civilization is a veneer. The gen.
tleman is a vanished savage. The naughty
dame, the languishing belle, are lacquered
savages. The institutions of society are
stucco upon an edifce of barbarism; plas-
ter ornaments that continually peel and
crumble, revealing through the rude win
dows of crime, disorder and violence, the
rough framework of brutality and rufian-
ism.
Brain always was superior to muscle.
Yesterday little fellow bet big brawny
man a nickle that he couldn't break a sill
yer dime in two by grasping it between
his fingers. The big fellow went eagerly
into his pocket, produced a dime and
broke it before he could be told that the
dime would be useless and by the trans
action he would be out nickle.
A story that is common property is one
on Democratic orator who had spoken
enthusiastically of Grover Cleveland and
was interrupted by scrupulous fellow
who said that he never could conscien-
tiously vote for Cleveland until that
Maria Halpin matter was explained.
| "Pshawp' cried the orator in disgust,
''that doesn't amount to anything. l ask
this question: Is there man in this audi
ence who has not in his lifetime been
guilty of the same indiscretion? Is there
man anywhere who can answer that
question negatively?
The audience was still. Finally the in
terrupter remarked that he himself would
not answer the question but he knew of a
man who could.
$50 ahead and get him." yelled the
orator. 81 have got the finest herd of
Jersey cows in the state of Kansas, and
will give the best heifer among them to
the man who can answer that question"
The interruption was out of the building
like shot and up the road to the house of
a poor, superannuated circuit rider, He
dashed into the house, pulled the old man
out of bed and said: 'Do you want fine
Jersey cow?"
"Of course" said the old man; "our old
cows gone dry these six months"
'Well, you can get one by coming down
to the meeting and answering one ques-
tion'
whats the question: doubtfully ask
ed the old man.
''That don't matter. Get your clothes
3D."
Five minutes later the old man tottered
up to the stage his coat half on and his
right shoe on his left foot. The matter
was explained to him. Now" said the
orator, answer that question and you get
the Jersey cow"
The old fellow scratched his head "Oh,
we'll, he finally remarked ''the truth is
Jersey milk is too rich for my blood"
Where is that man Blithers, fromW
asked one of a circle in New York hotel.
Smith-He told me he was from illinois.
Jones-Strange; but he told me he was
from Colorado.
Brown-Stranger still, for he told me he
was from Missouri.
Greenland me, that he was from Okla
homa.
White-And me. that he was from Ohio.
Smith-Evidently he is not all right;
Guiding the officers suspect. Nice fellow,
though.
Just then Blithers appeared. 'Boys, I"
he said. come and have a drink with me-
1 have lied to you all. Kansas is my state.
have just got dispatch that she has re-
pudiated the Alliance and am not asham-
ed TO own her. What will it be, boys"
|
STOP IT.