Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1891-10-15
lCE-CREAM AND LOVE.
The Cooling and the Warming Connections
COMPARED.

NHe NOOllns anu tht NNThihk tbhitN'iohh
Compared.
Love and iec-cream are closely allied.
No man ever fell head over heels into
the tender passion that his white, gau2y
delirium did not lead him where the
stuff is sold; in fact, it Is easier for u
giraffe to pass through cellar window
than it is for young man in love to get
past an ice-cream saloon without being
drawn into the maelstrom and made to
settle. / never was In love, but have
dallied at the confectionery store
where grass widow smiled and
smiled and charged me ten cents a
dish for frozen pudding, concocted Of
corn starch, stale eggs and yester-
days skim milk, with bergamont and
other flavors, Even in the smalluess
of the dish the widow worked off on
me, its fiber could be easily detected,
but the guile of the widow was of the
fresh Attorney kind, and she smote
my wallet daily until, fearful of dys-
peptic death or u concrete liver, | de-
parted from the town, leaving the dear
disconsolate to freeze on to some other
victim. 1t is to ice cream that torrid
love seeks an apothesis. A young man
ready to die for his sweetheart and car
rying pistols for the other fellow, will
find his passion soothed and his knowl-
| edge of human nature enhanced when
he has to pay fifteen cents spoonful
| for frozen cornstarch and ten cents
more for piece of cake about the
size of n postage stamp. But after
all ice cream has its uses 1t cools the
lovers fevered soul, prevents suicides
and makes fellow love some other
| girl Just as well as the one he previous
| ly wanted to die for There is no muir
der in the heart after filling up on the
ling in quart or so you feel that the
world and yourself are even. Without
ice cream there would be no picnics.
The home for the aged supper would
lose its attractiveness were it not for
the cone of snowy cream, and several
more, at least two, oysters would have
to be added to the soup at the church
fair supper if this delectable freeze was
not added to the bill of fare. The man
who enjoys religion, treason, strata
gem and spoils, also feels his
palate tickled and the ragged edge
worn off by this CONNECTION. Girls have
been saved from dying old maids by
having steered some timid shrinking
man into the place where it is sold, and
bachelors have FASTENED to change their
lonesome state after tasting some out
of the young ladys dish who sat oppo-
site. Ice cream was invented in the
New England states, and when the old
puritans began to eat it they quit hang
ing witches. It's nice thing to have
in the house when you have company
for dinner as it saves you from the NOR
LITIGATION of having your guests say thai
you hadn't anything to eat ] once
knew good housewife who stood up {
meal against some purse-proud visitors
which consisted of picked beets anC
corn-starch cream, and the guests nevel
noticed the lack of other viands.
should have added that the ic,
water was furnished as an entree t.
the meal. | went to some of tn,
guests funerals couple days afte
and they wore n smile, but corps,
can "smile and smile and be william.
Dogs and cats won't eat ice cream, bu
that's nothing against it. Lovers ant
people who attend picncs do, and talkei
with some Observation-Disclosures bis
cults and canned beef, person can en-
Joy himself like an angel sitting on TIN
rim of golden cloud and playing 9Th
Merchant of Venice" on three dolla
guitar. My advice to my young gentle
men friends is not to buy expensiy
love powders to secure the affections c
the tender gender, but load them u
with ice cream. If a man were Cal
ban and bought a pretty girl dish c
cream with orange ice and cake, sh
would love him, though all the worl
berated her choice. There's nothin
in the world so cold as ice cream, tha
warns the heart until it purrs like
maltese kitten after a saucer of milk.
Maj. McFlipp, in Elmira Telegram.