St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-03-14
GLOBE TOWER SHOTS.


For the benefit of Wmdgust strecter he is
Informed That the whole country is laughing
at him, not his clothes.
Michigan man has been asleep eight
months; but, really. he has not missed much
As the GLOBE goes to press Chicago has but
tve candidates for mayor--two Washburns,
a Harrison, Il Cregier and Tommy Morgan.
Frank LAWYER, il is understood has been
scratched.
Have You read a. j. strceters wheeze: If
not. don't
During the late senatorial contest in Hi
nois number of the candidates claimed that
they were shadowed 1t appears that they
were overshadowed-by Palmer
The United States started out to declare
that no more Indians should volunteer in the
show business, but Buffalo Bill appears to
have fought The government to standstill.
Won Chump-At a swell reception how am
! todistinguish guest from waiter when
they both wear swallow-tails:
De Jay-Ofier tip; if he is waiter he will
accept it.
Won Chump- But what if he is not waiterg
De JAY will send the undertaken after
your remains.
c. p. Huntington absolutely refuses to pay
female beautifier $500 for putting a new
face on his wife. The all-around railway
magnate is right; nobody likes a two-faced
woman.
kX-CongTessman 10 Cannon wound up his
term with the remark that he was an appli-
cant for nothing except the grace of God.
We'll, deathped repentance is better than no
repentanee-just II little better
President Harrison-Lije!
Secretary Halford-Yes, sir
F. III killed thirteen ducks Yesterday.
S. H.-Y-y-yes, sir.
L. H.-But. do You know. Lije-and it 5
mighty singular, too-that | see lots of
strange things back in Neutrality-suspicious. OF
queer specimens-when | haven't got a gun.
Then the president drew the ramrod from
his old muzzle-lOading fusee and wrote in
the sand the names of Raunl, Quay, Blair
and Porter nodded significantly to Lie. and
composed himself in the duck blind for
another pop-shot AT the redheads.)
Some slick thieves in Ohio recently robbed
John 7. Norris, an able detective. not leav-
ing the unfortunate official even a single
clue.
Editor Henry Watterson officially an
nounces that what he says bears no conceiv-
able relation to what other people say he
says Besides that, he goes Oh to affirm that
he does not care a continental whether
school keeps" or not; he has sold his books
and proposes to walk home with the big girls
THE midnight murder does not disturb
the average night editor nearly so much as
the midnight prize fight The murder will
possibly keep-on ice--but the prize fight dc
composes rapidly if Kept oyer'twenty -four
hours.
James Pawn. the novelist has Joined the
staff of London Punch. 1t is feared thai
this will not materially mend matters
Punch's humor has always been Payn full.
Special artists of the monthly magazines
are now busy among the contending Ma
tional and Association leagues, making
sketches for series of war articles to bt
published in 1900.
The only living descendant of Christophel
Columbus Is i'll Florence, Italy, carefully
nursing siX-months-old boy who, it is eX-
pected. should he live long enough. will pre-
side at the opening of the world 5 fair a
Chicago and press the button while the han
sandwich do the