The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-08-13
WIT AND IIUNOR.

| dollar -HdshtH0toH Star.
The deed of an incendiary is correct
ly referred to as a burning shame. -
| atlanta Journal.
What people often denominate sea
of trouble is frequently a notion OF
dyspeptic ideas.-1e1as S5ttinas
The political parade is productive OF
enthusiasm. but the weekly-pay raid IS
more profitable. -Btnghanton Repuo-
licdn.
One trouble about unpleasant people
is that it generally seems impossible
| for them to get out of the way.-lhst-
Uaukee Journal
Some of us reserve our best smile for
select occasions, as if wearing 1t upon
all occasions would not improve it
Atchis0n Globe.
Bailey Tin history exam. )-"Ihey
say that history repeats itself An! II
it would but repeat itself to mel
| HARVARD Ldnp00n.
The Revolutionary punches Ameri-
cans gave the Britons in the long ago
were made of the spirit of '46.-AeU
Orleans Picaaune.
Satan-"Ah! Glad to meet you. Go
| ing to stay with us long?H New Ar
rival-"Only for the heated term, l
guess" -Indianapolis Journal.
A good many preachers try so hard
to feed few giraffes in their flocks
that they let the sheep and lambs
starve to death.-Rana'S Horn.
Glorious Have YOU any idea what
makes Jobson such skeptic?" Cyni-
cus-"Yes; he says the disciples were
| all tishermen.n-N Y. Herald.
Education is all right, just so it does
not make the victim too smart to work
and not smart enough TO get along
| without work.-GatUest0n Meas.
Rapp-'.I look upon you, sir, rs a
rascal" Partee-"You are privileged
to look upon me in any character you
desire to assume sir.''-1e1as SJt'Mgs.
What wise provision of nature it
is that the big. strong man is generally
| good-natured." Yes; but his wife is
apt to be pretty saucy, though. y
Indianapolis Journal.
Human nature is human nature the
world over. The harshest critic the
newspaper editor has is the man
who contributes to the waste paper
basket.-N Y. Recorder.
Author-''These two books-I hard
ly know what to call them-are wait
Ing for titles" Joblots-' why don't
you call them American Heiresses,
pn-HarUdrd Ldnapoun
A.-"That wasn't nice o. you to re-
fuse me the $40 wanted TO borrow.
One friend should always help an
other" B.-''Yes. but you always
want to be the other. Life.
Tom-"It always strikes me that
your iiancee is very cold girl" Jack
My dear fellow, if you paid for the
ice-cream she eats you'd think she had
every reason to be cold. "-Pach
They sat together on the front
piazza midsummer day. do you
know that this is the longest day in the
year?" he said. Il believe you. "
she answered. yawning.-N. Y. Herald.
Wool-'What makes Mrs. Hicks
watch her husband SO closely?" Van
Pelt-''A few nights since she started
to greve for her first husband and
Hicks sympathized with her. ~ T..
Herald.
He-"Look! Here comes young
Brummell Washington with his bride.
| wonder what on earth induced him
to marry her" Shc-''O, probably
somebody bet him he wouldn't. "-Har-
per'S Bdzar.
as it considered an honor to be sent
out as missionary?' Yes. Why?"
Il was only wondering" said Mrs.
Vealv. 'My husbands congregation
are unanimously DESTROYS that he shall
go."-EpocA.
She-"You say woman cannot
keep secrct?n He-'Yes. that is nv
experience. "-Shc-"I have known of
Il woman keeping n secret for an age"
He-''Yes; but it was her OWE age. -
N. \. Herald.
In the Garden: Adam (reprovingly)
1--WE" Eve-"YeS. dear, what is
it?' Adam hope that you are not
going to wear that bathing suit as 4
regular thing all the year round. y
Washington Star.
Unsatisfactory Shopping place =
Daughter" Here is Bigg, Stock &
|
Mother-"No. no. No matter what
we ask for, they will be sure to have
it."-N T. Weekly.
Il am not given to slang, Nell"
mo. | don't think you are, George"
Yet should like to apply a slang
phrase to your chaperon.' "Indeed!'
Yes; would like to say she is out of
sight. M. Y. Press.
Brown-''Mss Summit is remark
ably well-informed girl. don't you
think?" Miss Tattle-"Why, no! She
can talk about books and all that sor.
of thing. but she never knows the latest
gossip. Nunsey's Weekly.
S. Ponge-"Can you let me have $40
for week or SOP" G. Enerous-"Ive
only got 50. bnt you can have that if
it will do" S. Ponge-'All right; I'll
take that and then you will owe me a
dollar. "-Haruard Lampoon.
The newspapers poke good deal of
fun at the summer girl. but even
editors know that the summer girl and
n narrow-seated buggy and moon
light night make very attractive COM
biuation. SOnaercilie Journal.
| 1ncfe are Weil-tO-uO men VINO VIII
| get down on their knees in church aud
pray for God to bless the whole earth
who wouldn't give n dollar towards
building feuce around the church to
keep the pigs out of the graveyard. =
| RAMS Torn.
What is the subject of your COM
mencement essay he inquired quizzi-
cally. Beyond the Alps Lies Italy?'"
Il did use the idea" admitted the
sweet girl graduate. "but l modern
lied it into Over the Fence Is Out. W
indianapolis Journal.
Il saw in one of the papers this
morning that Il Boston man has gone
into the millinery business" Yes.
He reasoned out saving of 96 per
cent on his wife's bonnets and profit
of &c per cent on other mems wives
bonnets. "-Harper's Bazar.