The Delta independent., 1891-04-23
THE DINKLEMANs.
Jalrey Initiates His Unole Into tho Society
for the Advancement OF Truthfulness.

Jakey Initiates His Unclo Into tho Society
for the Advancement OF Truthfuiness.
'.Shakey" said the old man, Ito
morrow your Uncle Smelzer comes py
us. You always plows apout your
goot manners und dries to maig your
mudder hafe bolitness, SO ven your
uncle comes show him vot n goot poy
you vus. AS dot philotsofer says:
'Bractice vot you breach.'"
Next day Uncle Smelzer came. He
was pleased with Jakey at first sight.
He patted him on the head and said he
hoped Jakey would make things pleas
ant for him.
ooh, uncle" said the junior Dinkle-
man, "Tn show you things vot you
nefer saw before. I'll maig dings SO
lively by you dot you don't know Pc
fore vot you hafe missed"
Jakey really meant all this. His
uncle came from Philadelphia-the
city that has been asleep since SO
and Jakey thought it would be like u
nightmare for his uncle to see our
wonderful building and the like, but
Smelzer had seen it all and Jakey was
disappointed in not being able to full
fiji the promise he had made OF 'show-
ing him things he had never seen be-
fore and making things lively for him.
''Vell," he said to himself, II moost
not disappointed ooncle. I will maig
it lively for him. will practice vot l
breach"
First of all Jakev got permission
from his father to have the use of the
cellar the next night, then he won't
out and got all the boys he could to-
gether and put them onto his little
game. They were to be assembled in
the cellar the next evening prepared
to make things lively for Mr.. Smelzer.
"Ooncle," " said Jakey to that gen.
tleman, "before you go pack by Phila-
delphian you shoult shoin our society
for de advancement of druthfulness.
You do not have to live by druthful-
ness, but it maigs boobies hafe con-
iidences py you in pisness. You haf
py your sign: 'Smelzer. de tailor.
Everything vot it is represented. l
am member OF de Society for Ad-
vancement in Druthfulness.' SeeP
Customers come py you und you sharge
vot you like for clothes. You maig
money like water ain'd id?"
Smelzer was delighted. "You are
smard boobies py New york." said
he. Il shoin your society for sure.
"Vell We meet tonight. You can
pc initiative after eight o'clock"
Before that hour the boys had assem-
bled and when the hour of eight came
around Jakey came into the store and
told Smelzer he could now prepare for
the services. He took him down into
the little back room in the cellar and
put black cap over his head. Then
two Of the other boys took Smelzer by
the arms and led him out into the big
room of the cellar.
..Brooder, you are now on de brink
ov de canyon of druth. Go foorth."
A row of round logs were arranged
so that every time Smelzer stepped on
them they started to roll. At the first
step he fell. Then Jakey and his
chums began banging him with air.
filled bladders and us he tried to get
up the logs began rolling from under
him. Then they hit him and kicked
him some more and put out the lights.
To finish up the business they threw n
lot of water on him. Smelzer howled
and the boys got away with all speed
except Jakey. He went up and came
into the store. Old Dinkleman heard
the noise and fastened down the
stairs. He found Smelzer on his knees
pleading for mercy. The blindfold
was quickly taken off and Smelzer
explained what Jakey had done with
him. When they got upstairs they
found Jakey quietly seated near the
stove.
"You young devils" began Dinkle-
man, 'syot you mean by dreading your
ooncle so ungentlemanliness"
You say, fader, dot moost practice
vat breach, don't idP''
IAN, Shakey, you moost kill your
poor ooncle--I'm vet und sore" be-
gan Smelzer.
"Vell, ooncle," said Jakey with an
air Of innocence, "foder said moost
practice vot breech und vas breech-
ing dot would gife you lifely time.
ain'd id? Don'd l do dotp Don'd /
dry to keep my word? belong me be
py dot society for druthfulness und-"
but before he could say more he walk
ed away covering his face, crying as
If his young heart would break.
When he got to his room he could
not help but laugh like man who had
suddenly heard OF the death OF his
mother-in-law. well. made it life
ly, by ooncle. Bractice vot breach,
ehp Dots vot did,"
-.~
The freaks of (;lrls.
Within a comparatively short time