The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-03-29
LECTURE ON WIDOWS
A Policeman COntroverts Mr..
Weller's Famous Remark.
WHAT HE THINKS OF WIDOW
Great Many Men Have Married Second
Hand Wives and Lived Happily
With Them.

IL wac uFe minutes past l on Sunday
morning IN the Thirtieth street station
house. Captain Reilly was fast asleep in
his room restoring in sweet slumber the
wear and tear of the Arion festival. and
Sergeant Oliver Tins, the scholar, leaned
back IN his chair behind the desk, put the
tips OF his fingers together, and cast his
eyes up to the ceiling after the manner of
The stained glass saints in church windows.
and began to ponder.
The interesting thing about the situa-
ton was that the hour of LOS a. m. on Sun
day Is the time that the police of CAPTAIN
Rellly's command all concede is properly
devoted to bordering by all true philoso-
piers, and so, by common consent, nobody
lnterferes with Sergeant Tins when he
leans back in his chair at this particular
hour every Sunday and gives himself UP
to thought
When the sergeant had looked at the
ceiling for ten minutes young man with
an elongated brown overcoat and an En-
gl1sh setter trotting at his heels opened the
door of the station and gave the police
philosopher wished for opportunity to
make public the substance of his peaceful
and enlightened reflections. The ruddv
checked sergeant fairly beamed with smiles.
and he fired off the thoughts Instantly in
the following surprising fashion:
THE DISSERTATION.
The pages of history glow with eulogies
of widows, my boy Have you ever re-
Elected uppn the instructive fact that some
of the most famous men of the world have
married widows? There was King Charles
XII and Frederick the Great and Admiral
Nn1Gn1 md l,oL 10
Washington and Lord Beaconsfeld and
ever SO many more noted for their genius
and Tor those attributes that fit men to be
leaders of their fellow men,
The sergeant stopped to take breath, and
the setter sat on her launches and eazed
at him with sort of fascination and tried
to get through the railing to shake hands
with him.
Then you don't agree with the late Mr..
Weller?" ventured the young man with
the elongated brown overcoat.
WHAT the man who said, 'Samivel, be
ware of the viddersp" exclaimed the SER
geant, with disapprobation. NO, my boy,
do not agree with Mr. Weller. He was
wrong, all wrong"
10 what do You attribute the choice of
the great men you have named?" asked
the young man. 'There were plenty of
maidens around in those days as now"
Il ascribed the selection of widows by
these brilliant men to their superior intel
hgence. They were men of rare good judg-
ment, and they reasoned that the women
whom they chose understood men and
were already trained in the management
OF homes. They were men, you see, who
did not care to'run any risks of the matri-
monlal lottery, which I may be permitted
to describe simply as marriage with women
who have never been married before.
HARD QUESTION SOLVED.
THE widows whom Nelson and Napo-
leon and Washington and the other great
men married had already earned an hon
orable fame as excellent wives, and there
could therefore be no chance of disappoint-
ment IN wedding them. And you will OBJ
serve, If you examine the pages of history,
that they made most admirable wives to
their second husbands, just as they were
devoted and useful to their first. AS the
pursuit of happiness is one of the chief
ends of man, according to the Declaration
OF independence and common sense, and as
well considered marriage is sure road
to happiness, therefore it follows, don't
you see, my boy, that to marry a widow
who has proved her ability to make good
wife is the best policy TO pursue in the
pursuit of happiness and will quickest
yield the result sought for"
The police orator rubbed his hands to-
gether, and the setter gave delightful
bark. Very good, and very elegantly
put" said the young man in the elongated
overcoat. But" and he leaned over the
railing, and his voice grew solemn, eff all
the men who believe in marriage as an in
stltution are to marry widows, Mr.. Tins.
what is to become of the maidens? You
surely wouldn't deprive them of a show.''
Tie studious sergeant sat bolt upright
with a start He scratched his head and
looked up at the ceiling. He had struck a
snag IN the suggestion of the young man
with the setter.
True, very true" he muttered "Let
me see, now. What could we do with the
maidens?" Then his face Frightened again.
Il have it. Let them marry and become
widows, of course, and then they will be in
the field all right" He leaned back in the
chair once more with that air of satisfac-
ton that marks the man who has tri-
umphed over an obstacle
A NEW QUESTION.
just then the station door opened and
two weeping women came in and walked
up to the railing. They were both dressed
in black.
well, ladies, what's the matter? What
can do for your" the sergeant asked in
kindly tone. A very curious look came
Into his face when one of the women. be-
tween her sobs, told her story. Boiled
down to facts it was this:
A year ago | married man who had
lost his wife the year before was a wild
ow. He has turned out to be very wick
ed man. He beats me and has lust driven
me out of the house, and l want him ar
rested.''
The sergeant directed the woman to 90
to Jefferson market and get 3 warrant for
the arrest of the perfidious widower, and
wheeled around with his back to the rail
ing and stared hard at the wall
Sergeant" ventured the young man
with the overcoat, after long and painful
silence, "this incident reminds me that
you haven't told what rule is to be applied
by women who think of taking husbands.
Is the Weller injunction to be changed to
'Samivel, beware of the viddervers,' or
is''-
young man." exclaimed the sergeant
sternly, wheeling around and cutting the
abruptly short, 'this sym
postum is ended. Sufficient unto the
night is one proposition for philosophic
Pm going to be very busy
now. Good morning. New York Sun.
Some of the ancient superstitions are
very pleasing and in the highest degree
poetic. There is a superstitious belief
prevalent in the east that eclipses of the
moon are caused by demon who, out of
The malice of his nature, afflicts the queen
IF the ctarc And an 1baea ooo,.;,,., II .