davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Iokes on Misslssippians.

The Lounger met Mssissippian the
other day who said to him: "Look here,
sent your story about Van Eaton to him,
and he wrote me word back that it was
true to the letter. How did you hear it.
The Lounger told him where he got 1t.
and the Mississippian then said: "Pll tell
you good one on our judge, If you won't
give me away" The Lounger promised,
and here is what he got: Judge Simpson,
Congressman Stockdale and Mr.. Price, a
LAWYER, went to Gillsburg some time ago
to hold an examining trial. The young
man of Gillsburg, having before their
ewes neither the fear of the Lord, nor the
statutes of the State of Mississippi against
breaches of the peace, had organized
brass band; and, as the distinguished
party named above arrived the evening
before the band determined to commit
sort of modified riot in the shape of
serenade to them. The baud assembled at
the hotel at p. M. and proceeded to as
sault the "The Star Spangled Banner"
and then the crowd called for Stockdale,
who responded in speech. "Hail Columbia
was next placed on the rack (musicc rack.
| mean) and in response to calls, Mr.. Price
addressed the crowd. Somebody, in fact,
several somebodies, should, "Give us
'DlXl8, anu Inc DAUu luulouldt~ly o1iuSA
up. At the conclusion of the tune, in re-
Spouse to loud calls for him. Judge Simp-
son came forward and said, in substance,
that the air just played by the band was
the most inspiring music that was ever
| written; that the soldiers of the South had
marched and fought and bled and died in
spire6 by it's notes. That it was the air
of the Southland and carried to the mind
pictures of the snowy fields of cotton and
the waving acres of cane. That it was
redolent of the perfume of the magnolia
and ripping with the note of the hooking
bird; and that wherever he might be, at
all times and in all places and under all
circumstances, he was filled and permeated
with the spirit of that air. The judge
thought he had made pretty good speech
but not humorous one, and he, there
fore, could not understand the roars of
laughter that greeted his most telling
sentences, especially his peroration. But
it was clear to him when the leader
stepped up and said: 81 beg your pardon,
| Judge, but that wasn't Dixie we played.
The band didn't know Dixie so we
played The Little Brown Jug" The
people of Gillshurg have not yet deter
mined whether the joke is on the judge
or the band.-NeD Delta.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
ImnarrS of SuQar.

The total imports of sugar into the
United States for the ten months ending
October 81, were 1.240,S29 short tons.
against 1,099.6 GAL short tons during the
same period in 1889, showing an increase
OF al, 1888 tons for 1890, or about Is per
cent. If such an increase annually be
maintained the consumption of the United
States will reach 100000 tons of sugar
before the year 1900.
OF the sugars imported this year 255. 9O5
tons were beet sugar, as against but 81, :
TIC tons of beet sugar during this period
in 1889.
These sugars show, then, that our entire
increase of consumption and some $4,000
tons over have been made up by increased
imports of beet sugars. Although the
United States lies near the tropical sugar
countries, they have fallen off in their
current supplies to this country, and their
deficient supply and our own Increase of
consumption has had to be supplied by the
European beet.
Ali this seems somewhat contrary to
nature, and it does seem that the United
States should equal or surpass Europe in
building up domestic sugar industry
when the evidence is indisputable as now
that we shall need the sugar and have
every natural advantage for its economical
production.-1he Sugar Planter.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
She Found 1t.

She unfolded the newspaper very dellb-
erately and patted it out fat in thorough
ly feminine way. The two newspaper
men in the seat behind were interested in
her for two RESPONSIBLE was pretty and
she was reading. or about to read, the
newspaper to which they were attached.
She was looking over the first page when
the city editor whispered to his compsn-
ion, "Wonder what she'll read frst2'
"Society gossip, perhaps" was the 9TH
er's reply.
She was evidently looking for something
particular, for after glancing hurriedly
over the first page she turned it over ana
ran her eye down the second. She didn't
find what she wanted, and she said to the
man beside her: Il can't find it, but know
it's here"
Newspaper men are only human and
their curiosity was aroused. They watched
the hunt for sit with great interest. She
had reached the fourth page this time and
had paused for moment.
'sShes after poem or an editorial,
whispered the city editor, thoroughly dis
gusted.
But she wasn't for she turned the paper
clean over and began barking back from
the eighth page. Whatever she sought
was not ON the eighth page; it was not
among the markets on the seventh, or the
base ball and sporting on the sixth. The
interested spectators in the rear grew ex-
cited. As she reached the seventh page
she gave little scream and exclaimed IS
she put gloved finger on the paper:-
Here it is! Now isn't that too sweet for
any user
1t was an advertising cut of new seal
skin cape.-PittsbuTyh Da>patch.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
A Bright Hawkeye Boy.

The following is said to be Sutherland
schoolboy's composition on Breathing:
Breath is made of air. We breathe
with our lungs, our lights, our liver and
our kidneys. If it wasn't for our breath
We would die when we are asleep. Boys
that stay in room all day should not
breathe. They should wait until they get
outdoors. Boys make carbonicide. 1t is
poisoner than mad-dogs. A heap of SOL
diers was in black hole in India, and a
carbonicide got in that there black hole
and nearly killed every one afore morning.
Girls kill the breath with corssts that
squeeze the diagram. Girls can't holler
or run like boys because their diagrams is
squeezed too much. If was girl had
rather be boy, so can run, holler and
low and have great big diagram.-Er.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Texas One-Tenth the Country.

A great many people want to know how
large Texas is in area They look in quite
a number of alleged statistical abstracts and
never find the same figures in two of them.
The official figures of Texas area are 2o2-
696 square miles-equal to about 90 per
cent. of the entire area OF the united
States and Territories. Texas is six times
as large as New York, seven times as large
as Ohio, and 1000 square miles larger
than all the Eastern and Middle States, In
Guiding Delaware and MARYLAND. Com
pared with the countries of Europe she has
81, 900 square miles more than the Austrian
Empire, 81, 900 more than the German En-
pire, and nearly 70, 900 square miles more
than France.-IsS0s Trade Journal.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
CAPITAL FOR THE SOUTH.

1t is asserted, on the very best author.
ity, that as soon as complete financial
quiet is established in England large
amount of English capital will find invest.
ment in the Southern States.
The English have been thoroughly
cured of their South American invest
ments after sinking some $500, zoo, 900 in
the Argentine Republic. IA burnt child
breads the fire, and it will be many year
before they put their millions again in
that country. On the other hand, there is
everything to attract them toward the
South Such British capital as has been
placed here has made excellent returns,
and the late visit to the South of the Brit
ish members of the Iron and Steel Institute
last fall has made the English acquainted
with this country. They have seen the
South and know the advantages it offers,
and they have told wonderful stories of it
since their return home.
Mr.. J. P. Grant, who has been very
active in organizing English corporations
and syndicates to invest in American in
dustries, mainly in the Northern and
Western States, says that he has never
seen anything equal to the prevailing
English craze for Sogthern investments,
and he predicts that millions of dollars of
British capital will soon be placed in this
section A syndicate has been formed in
London to develop some 10000 to $4,000
acres of Tennessee coal, iron and timber
lands. This syndicate has just closed with
q Pittsburg firm to build furnaces and
coke ovens, and will contract for 81 ,000. 100
to So, 000,0 of iron furnaces and coke
ovens in the South.
This 10 huf ma nf Souarai enmpQniag
under way. OF course, when the financial
situation quiets down, far greater activity
in investments may be expected and every
dollar placed in the South adds grestly to
its wealth, for what It needs most just at
present is capital to develop its resources.
-ISmes- Democrat
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Let Him In.

Why should not the brother in black
have place at the Worlds Fair2
For the best part of a century he was
the axis on which this country revolved
His presence made the South and his ab-
sence made the West; his labors has en-
riched the North and his wrongs has been
the standing solace of that East which is
never happy unless calling attention to
some one eIse's sins. Talk of Grant and
Lincoln, johnson and of Lee-who made
them but our friend in sable with the cor
rugated hair3 Behold in him the father
of the tariff aud the corner stone of the
pension list Great in philosophy as in
ming his banjo while the white trash per
foration was over stepped to the front like
little man and, giving each side shell,
took the oyster himself.
True, the fair is fair in honor OF
Columbus and the brother in black was
not here at the date of discovery. but
neither was our brother in white. Both
are exotics, and the only difference in the
way they got here is the white man was
kicked over here in one ship and the black
man was logged over in another.
The colored brother is an integral part
of this country and it isn't fair to shut
him out of the show. There is rich mine
of fun and great many square miles Of
solidity in him, and both should be
utilized.
Let him come and sing the songs of the
cabin and the cotton field melody as fal
excelling burnt-cork fol-de-rol as the
peach excells the pumpkin; let musical yer
tuosos listen and say if uDtutored nature
cannot give points to art.
Let the old time auDties come and chal-
lenge the best CHATS in the land and q
Jury of professional bou vivants determine
the great culinary contest of Africa against
Gaul.
Let the Southern black man, unawed,
uubribed, uncosched, have his interroga-
ton days on which all sorts of people can
ask his opinion on all sorts of things, and
see him and know him not as this party
paints him or that but as he really is.
Lastly, put up old Dinah and see how
she will make the fur fly from the rici-
procity of Brother Blaine. Give her a
peck of meal and 9 representative delega-
ton from those nations that abhor this
particular breadstuff, aud let her show
them by what process the seemingly vapid
stuff can be concerted into appe.izing and
nutritious food. They will carry the news
back to their people and the golden wealth
of the prairie will no longer burn on the
Western hearth.
The brother in black waits at the door,
and it is moved that the door keeper be
instructed to let him i'm. 7. World
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Catarrh Can Be Cured.

Catarrh can never be cured by ointments
and other local applications, but there is
one remedy that can permanently remove
the cause. 1t has cured cases where the
discharge was so copious and offensive
that it felt as if the whole head was mass
of corruption. Other cases indicated by
an irresistible desire to hawk and spit,
the phlegm collecting in a tough mass
behind the soft palate. In other cases
where the matter dried up in such large
Jumps as to fairly close up the nostrils and
prevent nasal respiration. In other cases
where the breath was so Extensively re-
voting and fetid. that the person became
a disgusting object in society. Other
cases wherein complaint was made OF
distressful feeling above and between the
the eyes, and where the sense Of smell
was entirely lost. Other cases where the
droppings fell into the throat and the
voice became husky, and caused trouble
some cough. Oh you want to know the
name of the medicine? It is called Dr.
John Bulls sarsaparilla. 1t can be bought
of any druggist.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
The Beaver.
SOME OF THE STRANGE THINGS SAID OF
THE CUNNING ANIMAL.

SOME OF THE STRANGE THINGS SAID OF
THE CUNNING ANIMAL.
An old hunter writing to the Chicago
Times on the habits Of the beaver, says:
'There is no doubt of the ssgscity and
intelligence of the beaver, and the attempt
of the writer of the article to catch the
beaver by setting trap in the dam after
cutting it away will amuse every old trap
per that reads it. The beaver will in
variably use the trap tosrepair his broken
dam, and will very seldom be caught In
that way. Many trsppers have also had
the experience Of having their traps filed
with mud and sticks when they have at
TEMPTED to trap him on a log by removing
the pile of mud placed there before and
setting q trap in Its place. The beaver is
too sharp for that, but is easily caught
when the trapper has learned how.
Il is an impression with many that the
beaver uses his broad, fiat tail as trowel
and to carry mud, ETC., to build their
dams, but such Is not the case. They use
their short fore legs and paws to carry up
mud and grass from the bottom of the
lakes they inhabit, and make piles of mud
and grass, such as settles to the bottom,
on the logs that lay out from the shores.
The writer was never able to learn the
object of this, but presumes they found
some article Of food In il.
Their food consists mostly of the bark
Of the willow and cotton wood, which they
cut down and cut into sticks about foul
feet long, and. by some process known
only to the beaver himself, they will sink
TO the bottom of the lake or bayou, anc
there they remain until needed for use
Thsy also will cut down the white ash
The writer of this. measured white ask
that was nearly cut down that measured
twenty inches in diameter.
What their object was in this Is indei.
mite, ms 1t was mot near any dam and coulc
mot be used for any purpose except fol
food. The beaver makes an interesting
pet. They are easily tanned, are entirely
harmless, and have a very decided pro.
pensity to build dams. II they can ge
the material they will dam at tie leas
provocxtion, or rather opportunity. Their
il NO danger of their being worried b.
dogs, rs one old beaver, however peacable
would make bulldog pale with envy a
the way he can use those cutting teetl
when the occasion requires.
The writer expects to spend the winte
in beaver country and try to bring hom
few young beaver in the spring.
In localities where they are not huntet
or trapped thsre would be no trouble t.
get litter OF young ones, but such local.
ties are rather scarce ut present unless on
goes we'll up toward the Blackfoot reser
walton, and there are few hunters tina
care about enduring the hardships of
winter in that locality
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
The women Knit II Ont.

sNever had but one saloon in our town,
and the ladies knit that one out said a
gentleman who lives In Moore's Hill. Ind.
tsWhati" exclaimed the astonished
delegate. "Knit it outw eyes, when
the saloon was started the women formed
in relays, and went and took their knitting
to the saloon. Of course that knocked
business higher than kite. 1t was not
long before that saloon had to be closed,
and since that time no man has ever had
the nerve to start another. Cincinnati
Times. St0r.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17

A smart Aroostook lassie of three sum-
mers lives at Maysville Center. She trip
ped and fell while at play the other day,
but. picking herself up and rubbing the
hurt, she exclaimed, "My sakes, II wasn't
tough, I'd been dead years ago.--AugustG
(Me. } Journal.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17

The exports Of rice during the same
period sswere, in 1890, 281S tons; in 1889
2624 toms. These limited exports show
that even Ia 1890 there was imported over
$4,000 tons ot1oreign rice for consumption
In this country, and that there is still q
acme market for considerably larger
crop Of domestic rice than we have yet
produced. Our domestic rice should
bring the fnll cost Of foreign rice plus the
duty, 20 long ~ our home production does
not equal our home consumption. but to
avail Of this proper and natural level of
values, the rice planters must hold their
rice until ii ia wanted, and not all try to
sell out 81 once during the few weeks of
the harvest season The Sugar Planter.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
The Sweetest Word in the Language.

The Swe etest Word IN the Language.
The word 'Mamma" is one of the sweet
est and dearest in tbs English lsngusge,
and no girl should become so old as to for
get to call her mother by that name
Some one may tell you it sounds babyish in
the mouth of girl eighteen or twenty
years of sge. But let no one, dear girl,
persuade you from the use of it. 1t is the
first word that you learn in babyhood-it
is the last you forget You may substi-
tute the word "mother." but it has not
the same meaning neither to you nor to
her. 1t has not the same sound of sweet
confidence in it. God caused this word to
be put into the languages of the world
with special purpose. Do not believe
that GU grow too old to see it. If men
who have reached years of maturity, feel
that they can call their parents by that
name, then you, my dear girl, can afford
to do it. And can count a score OF full
grown men right on my fingers here VINO
ALWAYS adore IS their mothers as Mamma
before company or away from it. AND l
think the more of them for doing 1t, and
so does all the world. Likewise
the world Thinks more of you. And you
feel better satiS fed tn yourself, and
give YOUR mother that pleasure which 1t
shonld be YOUR duty, every day you live,
to give her. Let it ever be Mamma ana
"Paps," no matter to what age you may
live, Remember always one thlng-you
can never grow too big to show your
parents all the little attentions of which
the most loving of hearts is capable
Household Monthly.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
The Situation of the Rice Market,

Mr. A. II. Cowen. broker and CON-
mission merchant in rice, writes a letter
as to the position of this staple article,
which is entitled to consideration from the
trade. No one keeps the PHILOSOPHY" of
the rice market more carefully studied up
than our friend Cowen
Several weeks ago I called the at
tention of the trade to the shortage of
rice in china, Japan and the Orient, and
urged upon buyers in this market to avail
themselves of low prices in our domestic
production. At present the article is at a
very low figure and should claim the
attention, not of spectators, but of the
merchants in general. who appear to
imagine that the article will further de-
cline as the season advances. 1t is i'm
impossible for any one to hold such a
theory, taking into consideration all the
facts that bear upon it. Many are 10th to
believe the statements of short crops in
India and tell US that with a prospective
crop in Louisiana and the Carolinas of
100000 to 600, 900 barrels, there will be
ample supply for all demands here and
abroad, even should we be compelled to
export freely.
Does any merchant pretend to tell me
that supply of this magnitude will be
sufficient to meet every contingency that
may arise during the season of 1890 and
1891? Ireland, in its famis he'd state will
have to look forward to this cereal to save
her from want and starvation. India, with
it's crops (rice being the cheapest food for
its millions), will turn its attention to the
United States, and we shall find that the
daily runs of the mills in this country will
be inadequate to the demand that will
arise. 1t is the cheapest and most nu-
tritious food in this country and elsewhere.
The fact of potatoes, beans, ETC., being
exceedingly high, there is nothing to pre-
vent rice being used in lieu of them. AS
broker, would not urge upon the trade
a single barrel of rice, but let merchants
ponder over the situation themselves. If
the facts presented in this by me should be
but partially true, rice will be to cent
per pound higher in ninety days than at
present. -Iuter-S State Grocer.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Imports Of Rice.

The imports Of rice into the United
States for the ten months ending October
81 were, u short tons
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17
Dangerous to Live.

Are we safe nowhere from bacteria,
some one inquiries, not even when we are
sealed up in a vacuum in glass case
Not content with showing us that horrid
monsters claw and fight in every drop of
water we drink, scientific gentlemen have
been microsco picslly overhauling hail
stone and finding that an infinitesimal
speck of the ice contains no less than 400
to 700 bacteria. They may be the germs
of smallpox, scarlet fever, leprosy, naught,
mess and crime Not even ice will Kill
them. for they thaw out and wriggle fero-
ciously. The invention of the microscope
revealed wonders to man. but it made life
a burden to nervous people. Nothing is
free from microbes any more, nothing is
pure, except the benevolent motive Of one;
saws the same inquirer, who lends frlena
five dollars when he never expects 10 get
it back again. american.
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17

Sc 1t Is-"Well, its all ova." "What
isl" SAN egg"
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17

For Malaria, Liver Trou-
81 8, or Indigestion, use
BROWNIE IRON BITTERS
St. Landry democrat., 1891-01-17

Will tuTS6, Dus uOG pay 81 Wcils LII pldbt
ing, the usual width is six feet; this Mr..
G. says is too wide, as it allows the storms
and winds to bend it Qike bow; this
makes it more expensive Il the hauling to
the rollers, requiring two men instead of
one to attend it on the carrier to rollers;
they are now adopting five-foot rows. In
selecting eyes they do so from the green
cane, that is, the part above the ripened
wood; at the base of each leaf is the eye.
A furrow is made, and the pieces are
strewn or laid along. Each eye will throw
six to eight stems, which are allowed to
grow and ripen. Should there be any
misses, they sow corn or cotton. To the
arpent of land they use 800 pounds of cot
ton seed meal; this is drilled in about six
inches from the young growth. This. at
$2f per ton, they find the cheapest manure.
The growth Of cane will be ten to twelve
feet, and six feet Of this will generally be
sugar producing; nothing else is taken to
mill. This is an exceptional year, and
eight to ten feet are sugar producing.
OF course, labor-saving machinery is
their great want. In speaking of cotton
picker, Mr.. G. says it is impossible to use
one, except on poor land, where the cot
ton will grow only three and four feet
high. When it comes to new land, such
as went through with him, where it is ten
and twelve feet high, one growth inter
laced with another, no mule can pass
through it. He raises cotton delivered at
market for five cents pound. This,
assure You, is no euesswork. Mr.. C. says
our Eastern papers harp on ''Why don't
the Southern planters SOW and raise their
own corn crop?' He has tried it. and finds
that he can raise more In money from one
arpent of cotton or sugar cane, all ex-
penses considered, than from nine arpents
of corn. He doesn't grope in the dark,
but working ON cash basis from begin
ming to end. when crop does not pay he
drops it.-Gerald HonGtt, IN the Country
GenfIensass, Lafayette Parish, La, Nov. 80.