The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-03-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

There is a vast difference between liv-
ng simply and simply living. Joseph
Ne,cs.
Soldiers see great deal of private life,
,ut they don't enjoy it.-PittSJurg De'-
,dtch.
The only man contented with his lot
occupies it in the cemetery. indianapolis
Journal.
When it is an advantage to trade poots,
every army officer is ready to become
post trader.-TeraS Sytings.
Experience has established the fact
that lawsuits are more wearing on man
;han any other.-BostOn Courier.
She-"What would you like-being
naval man-for birthday gift3" He
ga little smack. "-Drake's Magazine.
If smokeless powder is followed by
punless bullets, wals of the future will
be made easy.-Ne,o Orleans Picayune.
The teacher whacked the boy, one day,
Who disobeyed the rule.
The scholars did not laugh or play
To see that lamm in school.
-HdTrdrd LdDlpoon.
The man who spends much time in
trying to please his enemies is one of the
most foolish of spendthrifts. fts.-SomerOiHo
Journal.
st. Agedore-"I think Miss Maze is
perfect poem" De Mascus-'I know
It. At least she's a-verse to me."-St.
Joseph NeDS.
Miss Burdy-''Yes, I will be yours on
one condition" Jack Junior-"Thats
all right. l entered Yale with six. -
Yale Record.
Mike-'Why do them false eyes be
made of glass, now2" Pat-"Shure,
an how else could they say throo 'em,ye
thick "- Yale Record.
After one girl has given you the sack
and another the mitten, it is time to give
up trying to gain your suit on the install
ment plan.-Haiyar Critic.
Hilow-'Look look here, Bloobum.
per, wouldn't be a fool if l were you"
Bloobumper-"No; if you were me you
wouldn't be a fool. "-Epoch.
"Pa, what is an auction" "An auc-
ton, my son, isa place where a man pays
an exorbitant price for something be
don't want and can't use. "-Epoch
Life drives us till we're out of breath
With striving, begging, giving,
We have to work ourselves TO death
That we may get living.
Chicago Post
"Suggest a motto for my new business
venture, will you, Miss Agnes" "What
is the businessG" "a dairy farm
"Then suppose you take'let well alone" D"
The Jester.
Quericus-''How does your friend ex-
pect to derive any benefit from being
elected an honorary member of the foot
ball team2n Prettiwit-"IIe's "a Doctor
-Chicago Necs.
Wibble-"Yes, believe in the office
seeking the man." Wabble-'I notice
that it usually has to seek the boy. At
least that is the case in my office. -
Indianapolis Journal,
A book agent-he came inside:
He stuck TO the man like glue,
But spite Of all hints and mods and winks,
Never lett till he got throw
Chicago Globe.
Giles-'I'm glad l let that fellow have
the small loan. He seemed overwhelmed
with gratitude aud said he could never
repay me-" Merritt-"That was strange.
He told you the truth. ~ Chicago Neios.
"You are the light of my life," she
said to him as she told him goodnight
at the front door. "Put out that light"
growled her father at the head of the
stairs, aud the front door slammed
Washington star.
"Let US see, a cynic is a man who is
tired of the world, is he notl" the young
language student asked. "No, no, my
child, replied the knowing tutor. "a
cynic is a man Of whom the world is
tired. '-Hl,oaatcs Sentinel.
The optimist sees but the roses of life.
The thOrns meet the pessimist's view,
But the sensible man with AN eye TO the
facts
Notes and knows how to handle the two.
Philadelphia Press.
81 sec that in the preface of your
book you say that it is written to fll
long-ielt want. What do you mean by
Jhatt' "Why, I've been needing
square meal for the last eighteen months.
Don't you call that loug-fclt wautl'--
Chicago Ns,rs.
The United States Government holds
in It's vaults a greater amount of gold