The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-06-25
AS IN A LOOKING GLASS.

Cover it gently, veil it with care; nc mat
ter how stealthy, how guarded, how secret
you are some one of an investigating turn
of mind will find it out. If you are en-
gagged to a dear miss, but do not want the
world to know it, beware of the stealthy
qlances you east in her direction, for some
one is watching you.
If you are contemplating getting a di-
vorce do not haunt law libraries, the Offices
of those versed in Blackstone, or inquire of
your friends what in their opinion would
be good grounds for a legal separation.
You are watched, your case is understood,
and already your friends cast plying
chances toward you and have no doubt
now as to why you are SO bald, while your
enemies are already branding you as O cold,
cruel wretch.
If your mother-in-law is shortly to visit
you do not purchase to adorn your walls
such notices as, What is home without a
| mother-in-law,' or, ''It is an ill wind that
| blows nobody good" You are not quite SLY
enough-others have been in the same boat
and can sympathize with you. We are
blessed with two orbs placed in the upper
part of the Uranium and POLITICALLY styled
"~windows of the soul,'' which if used rightly
are the greatest of educators: but even the
eyesight may be perverted and we may "see
through a glass darkly."
~
The good city fathers have decided that
Main street must be paved, the mud must
90 and a good clean walk be substituted for
mother earth. The paving material is to
No nF mood Varinna nnipinna aS tn the
merits and serviceability of the different
materials nave been brought out. The
asphalt roads of Washington are famous
and granite blocks have proved very ser.
viceable in some cities. paving bricks are
considered material par excellence by some
The majority of us care little which the
city fathers decide to use, if they only dc
away with the mud.
~
I was standing on the corner of Main
street and Broadway one day last weel
waiting for q car. Standing near me wer'
two men-gentlemen, supposed. Before
me was a river of mud and on the opposite
side of the street were two ladies, appsr
emily discussing the question of venturini
8 through the ooze. One of them started
seized her skirts and as she proceeded raise
c them q little higher than she was aware
All attention were the gentlemen now. On
4 began guessing the color of her hose, til
o other remarked on the size of her foot.
turned, and could looks have annihilatet
mine would have converted those men int
= the dust from which they were raised.
at least had the effect of causing them t
e proceed on their way towards upper Mai
street.
A ring for the toe is a fad in Paris, br
will scarcely become popular IN America
Who among US would be willing to consip
( a diamond to almost utter oblivion by hit
ing it in the farthest recesses of a pair
hose?
s. Two pretty girls were walking leisure
ie down Grand street last evening about eigl
o'clock. Their escorts were Just benin
!, item enjoying their evening Havanas. ]
the young ladies passed The Helena u your
~ blood, ignorant of the fact that tho cir
10 were under the protection Of two stalwa
II. gentlemen, sang out: "Ah there, you swe
in creatures" In Il shorter time than | c.
in tell it the fine young man found hims,
in SPRAYING IN the sticky mud for viii
h Helena is becoming famous; the gentlem'
who was nearest having seized him by +
:, collar and pitched him into the quit
W Deplorable indeed was the condition of /
III tile, his linen and his trousers, but wi!
ler WAS he.
ny -
lty She did not know that | was listening
ey perhaps this heartfelt ejaculation wol
mi never have been uttered: "0h dear. h
air lovely it il these moonshiny evenings
"a take & stroll or to step out on the veraI
~ for a few minutes outing and airing af
the confinement of the parlor. Nobod,
ri there except the man in the moon md ,
.he ] other fellow. and nobody except these p