davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.

,Water, water everywhere, but not q drop to
drink, sighed the Kentucky colonel In the
prohibition town.-Nev York Herald
After spending an hour with pretty fool,
how refreshing homely people arc.
why did you give up calling on Miss An
mo man can make love successfully to
woman who persists In keeping cuckoo
clockl"-- Puck.
lie facetiously)- do you think baby
Will resemble me, wifley
She tartlyl-I shouldn't wonder; he keeps
me up at night often enough.
Yabsley-.yery cute little dodge OF that
druggist selling me porus plaster with tho
privilege OF returning It II 1t did no good. 1t
Wickwire.-We why don't You return its
Yabsley--l can't Indianapolis Journal.
At Brighton-Rosalind bursting into her
friends bed.room)--Oh, Liz, want you to-
oh, Liz, ! didn't know you were dressing
the road staring. Pull down the blind.
Liz calmly continuing her toileD-Therc Ia
no necessity, they are artists.
wickwire--I tell you, Yabby, my boy, there
there u nothing like baby to brighten up a
Yabsley-i have noticed that the gas seems
to be at full height In your house ,at almost
any hour OF the night. Indianapolis Journal.
Sknner-Are you boarding at Mara Crnsty's?
Boutwell, I'm what you might call scant-
ling.--Pack. 49,
Mr.. Gimps (reproachfully)-O you would
not do anything as bad as that, would you?
Miss simps-oh, yes l would. ! am not 50
Mr. Gimps (hastily)--oh, ycs You are; great
dea! better, IN fact.--B Brooklyn Eagle. y
Gazzam- Flowers remind me OF swallows.
Maddox-lIow SOY
Gazxam--B because one doesn't make q nose
| Eachan0e.
She (having finished q sonata)-I suppose
| Won know Beethoven very Wcll2 7.f y
| sHe--Ya-as-oh--ya.as. Jolly-looking old
| fellow; have bust OF him at homa.--Plck Ne
| tp
| ut ia the nrst time you have ever repulsed
| me- Edith, and At shall be tho last, said young
| De Bourcey, as he rose haughtily and moved
"stay," she cried piteously, as If her heart
would break, i've must not part In anger"
.Well," he rejoined, pcnitently, "whst shall
"oh, Gus, don't blame me ;" shcyexplaincd,
with perccptiblc shivcr, "my neck IL very
sensitive. stood 1t as long as could Go
london Tid BIZ
1t was In the waiting.room at the Union
Depot-timc, 1880 O'Clock at night. lie had
gone there with his girl, who was going off on
the II O'Clock train. Her brother was there,
too, but he had Just gone ont TO bny her ticket
Sweet he whispered, won't you kiss me
"IIow can l." she said, "when so many people
| are hcreyn
IN manage that" said theIyoung man, "li
yOu are willing"
They whispered softly together and then he
rose as II to go.
well, Couisin Julia, "I,ll tell you good-by'
"Good-by, Cousin Tom.n
And there was long, fond mixture OF bliss
Her brother came In Just after this, and
train left.
at a crowd In railroad waiting-room, and, In
fact, ut everything that would hinder Its own
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
MY LADY or LONG AGO.


I've picture, somewhere,
OF q sedan chair,
From which q lady looks ont;
IT'S proud young face,
And q queenly grace
Encircles her round about;
Aud for want OF another name to bostow
call her my Lady OF Long Ago.
And watch her meanwhile
Az a naughty emile
Croepa into her handsome eyee.
For q knight stands there,
With a loyer's air
And look OF glad surprise;
And he kisses her hand, 10 bonding low
lie smiles on my Lazy OF Long Ago.
For then, as to-day,
Young love found way
TO the heart OF my lady fair,
For her eyes grow bright
With q tender light
AS she sits In her sedan chair;
Az she lifts her ian there's tell-tale glow
On the cheek OF my Lady ot Long Ago.
--4l1Gt ~. Hardy, ba DsffVf FIRES Pfess,
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

TiE L,BoRiNG MEN of the District of
Columbia have hardly had fair deal in
the Senate. II is not n valid argument
against their claims to say, as Senator
EpNuSps did on yesterday, that labor
organizations are tyrannical in their
methods and often ill-advised in their
policy. Neither is it good reason for
rejecting the claims Of the Government
employees TO urge that labor organizations
IN Chicago have declared that no non
union men shall be permitted to work
about the Worlds Fair buildings. The
question at issue is very simple The
laboring men in the employ of the
Government claim that the law fixing
eight hours as the working day for
Government employees has been disrc-
gardcd, and they ask for such supple
mentary legislation us may be required to
give effect to the law of 1873. They also
ask that, in cases where they have worked
extra time, at the request or under com
pulsion Of executive officers ofsthe Gov
ernment, they may be paid at an cquita-
ble rate for such extra work. What the
rules and the policy of the Knights Of
Labor, or any other similar organization
have to do with these matters, we confess
our inability to see. The labor leaders
are only human, and therefore fallible.
They make many mistakes. They do
many things which they afterward re-
pent, and it may easily bcthat, as Senator
EpMuNns claims, individuals often
suffer hardship under the operation
r a. i. A 4. \
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

eventfnl past. Mr.. Stoddard Is the most
charming of lecturers, and never wearics
Tor one moment. His humor Is unusually
happy and his language choice In the ex-
trenc. When he stepped before the big
white screen on the stage last night round
after round Of applause Welcomed the man
who brings the mountain to Mahomet or,
in other words, takes one to the Old
World in an infinitely short space Of time,
and possesses the happy faculty of spar
ing his fellow-travelers the terrors of mai
dc mer. The mechanism used in connec-
tion with the views, which were select
and artistic. worked without break.
Nothing but regret that the delightful
journey was over porvaded the house
when the curtain was wrung down on the
last picture.
"HiIarity" at Harris Biiou.
The German dialect comedian, vocalist
and dancer, Charles A. Loder, made de-
cded hit in "IIilarity," which was pre-
sented at Harris Biiou Theatre last night
TO q large audience. The play, as an
nounced, lis without plot, erected on a
foundation of funny situations, and built
laugh, y and most successfully and salts
factorily Is this carried out 1t would be
hard to crowd more fun into three-act
play. Charles A. Ioder as Herman Balmey,
''sisage maker and calironet blower"
kept the audience iff constant roar of
laughter. and the fun he failed TO extract
was brought out by Ireland's own tinker,
Roger lNcIddden. The bad man with a
razor, Chris Green, kept up his end re-
markably well, while the singing and
dancing of Misses Council, Lytton, Mer-
rick and Gould was far above the average.
Fay Foster at Ixernan's.
The Fay Foster English Gaicty COM
pany with its host of pretty girls and num-
crous specialtics was the attraction that
crowded Kernan's Theatre last night. The
performance opened with q laughable
burlesque entitled "Our Pleasure Party"
in which the entire company is intro
duced Many of the specialties are now
and all are excellent. William ]. O'Brien
executed some difficult musical limitations
and RAMA and Arno are unsurpassed in
their grotesque acts. Pauline Batcheller,
the pretty soubrette, was received with all
the old-time favor in her amusing songs
and graceful dances. Hanley and Jarvis
followed in clever knockabout comedy
act, and Miss Jessie May delighted the
audience with an exhibition of her powers
as a vocal artist and dancer. Lang and
Sharp presented droll comedy sketch.
and Vanola, the Mexican juggler, did
some wonderful things with a barrel and
ball. The performance concluded with
a witty satire on "Erminie," entitled
Dear Minnie with Pauline Batcheller
in the title role. The slsit is laughable
enough and serves to introduce many new
bits of comedy in the way OF songs,
dances, pretty figures and costumes.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
AMusEMENTs.
Richard Mansileld at AIbaugh's.

hlcharu Mansheld at Albaugh's.
The audience last evening at the Opera
House, on the occasion of the return en-
gagement of Mr.. Richard Mansfield as
Beau B,1ninel, fully justified and illus
trated the charm Of this exceptional
young artist for the best culture and intel
ligence OF every city In which he plays.
IL Is q very delicate, subtle, refined and
intellectual art, the processes and minutest
details whereof have been most carefully
thought out as well as felt, and as such II
bears the test of repeated hearings, each
one OF which reveals new beauties of in
terpretation and fine yet significant shades
OF difference. Brunn,el, for instance, has
perceptibly grown upon our sympathies
in the brief period of his absence, and so
doubtless 1t will be found with the other
masterpieces of the Mansfield gallery.
Mr.. Mansfield has the same admirable
company as at his former appearance of
the season, and the Mariana Pincent of
Miss Beatrice Cameron, the Kathleen of
Miss Ethel Sprague, the Prince Of Wiies of
Mr.. d.. III. Haskins, the Sheridan of Mr..
Andrews, and the Mortimer of w. j. Fer
guson won the same highly-deseryed COM
mendation as before.
"Beau Brummep will be repeated Tues
day and Wednesday evenings and Satur-
day. afternoon. On Thursday night, "a
i"isi"n hoihahVc VIII pc siNcii, II ,iuhy
night by request, 'Prince Karl" and sat.
ufday night, Or. Jekyli and MT. HYDE"
On FRIDAY afternoon there Will be gwen
special matinee musicale, to which the
puDiic VIII be admitted: The entertain,
menu WIN De maze up OF songs, grave ana
gay, burles9nes on English opera, solos
/. Tor vionnceilo and piano, ETC., al com
posed by Mr.. Richard Mansfield. The
special feature viii be new wnational an
them, which IS to be dedicated TO the
President. and the nation. Both words
and music are BY Mr.; Mansfield: For
this occasion Mr.. Mansfield Is bringing on
70 washington Mr. George +. Lepune' ;
celebrated boy choir from the chapel OF
~. John, in New York, and number OF
eminent soloists. II Is expected that
many people OF note VIII be present.
scanlan at the National.
AS an element, adverse or otherwise, of
the success Of Mr.. Scanlan, the weather
very evidently is not in it. In spite of
the active hostility of the Weather Bureau
a host of the admirers of the fayorite
comedian with the handsome uniforms
Of the Emmet Guard to the fore, stormed
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
In BaImy Dakota.

A North Dakota dispatch in New York
paper represents the young ladies going to
picnic last week in white dresses and
carrying palm-leaf fans. The picnic was
probably held in one of the orange groves
Colonel Donan write of every week; He
and able to render young females insensi-
ble to heat or cold In recent experiments
persons have had ice put on the bare neck
and live Goals dropped III the hands with
out showing the slightest annoyance.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10


Z WHY Is IT THAT WRITER'S about Washing
ton and Washington affairs will persist in
representing "the average Senator as a
person immersed in the gddy mazes of
society, keeping "open house, and dis
pensing lavish hospitality? Theaverage
Senator does none Of these things. The
average Senator is poor man, with little,
IL any, more than his 5000 salary to live
On, and he does not even dream of doing
what the correspondents say he does.
With some knowledge of the facts in the
case, we venture to say that ''the average
Senator" lives quietly and, in many i'm
stances, very meagerly on his S400 q
month, and, if he indulgcs in social func-
tions at all, confines himself to the cheap
and artless tea These publications give a
false idea to the country at large. They
lead to belief, by uninformed or unthink-
ing people, that "the average Senator is
agiddy and luxurious Sybarite, stepped in
mholy joys and stuffed with nectar and
ambrosia. It Is all nonsense. No men
work harder, and none have fewer in
dulgences than those who possess no
means beyond their salaries. There are
few millionalres q few more who have
fortunes ranging from 100000 upward;
but the majority have nothing beyond the
5000 per annum. and with that 1t would
be simply impossible to make display in
society. They do not attempt 1t, and we
will do them the justice to say they do
not'want to. tt,st
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
Pension. wIthout End.

FfONt Ne 7NdtdndIOEfS NtDs.
The pension records of the late war
show that this speculation in superan-
nuated widowers is still going on. Taking
the figures of the Revolutionary war as q
eminent in the year 1000, pension roll Of
the widows Of the soldiers who participa-
ted in the war of 40 years previous.
There does not seem TO be any way to
check this perpetuity of pensions, as the
old soldier, about TO relinqush his claim
upon the Government will continue to
furnish market for the young woman
who deals in Futures" and who will
agreeto cherish his memory by drawing
his pension.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

IRIS GREAT pity that Congress, and
especially the House, cannot find time to
attend to at least those matters of District
business which imperatively require at
tention. As the District is entirely de-
pendent on Congress, having no power of
roming TO its own relief, it would seem to
be an especially solemn duty on the part
of that body to see that the District is not
crippled by its neglect. There are several
things necessary to be done by Congress
unless we are to be abandoned to financial
chaos, and the sooner Congress sets about
doing them the better for all concerned.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
From he Caicago Tribune.

Aft"e N' 't"t'"tV AfeVN"oe
CHAPTER l.
'Is your heart set on it, Jennie?' asked
the father with faltering voice.
ut is, papa" said the daughter, firmly.
CHAPTER II.
''She shall have itl' exclaimed the
proud banker, as he toiled, and planned,
and schemed, in the little back room that
adjoined his business office. "She shall
have i if ii beggars mel
And day by day his operations grew
bolder, and wealth poured into his Golfers
as never before.
cirAPrRR III.
"Would be glad to make the price
lower, Mr.. Means, as favor to you, but
tits impossible. Yes, your check is good
for any amount, but in transaction OF
this magnitude you will permit me to see
that it is certified check. Thanks.
That is entirely satisfactory. The article
is yours, Mr.. Means
CHAPTER w.
"Jenniel the face of the doting
father was ashy pale-"Jenniel My
child II Is yours at lastl But | shall
not be able to buy an European Prince for
you until year after next"
With trembling hands he gave her q
rose he had purchased at State street
florists, and tainted away.
A letter from Dickens to Angus Fletcher,
dated in 1871, refers TO the death of Grip
as follows:
Grip is no more. He was only i'll d
day. / sent for the medical gentleman "a
| bird fancier In the New-road) on the first
appearance Of his indsposition. lie
| promptly attended and administered cas-
jor oil and warm cruel. Next day the
patient walked up and down the stable
| ill the clock struck ~ at noon, then
staggered twice, exclaimed 'Halloa, old
| girl'-either as remonstrance with his
| weakness or as an apostrOpho TO Death,
am not sure which-and expired, " etc.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

RgrnEsENrATIvE J. j. TAYLOR of Ohio
has made strong report from his COM
mittcc on Alcoholic Liquor Traffic on q
bin and resolution to prohibit the traffic.
That's all that will come Of it at this ses-
sion. Just a report. Alittle noise. That's
IL
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

IT APPEARS THAT the fortune-teller em-
rloyed by Representative GRIMES of
Georgia was true prophet after all. The
President has signed the bill for thcpublic
building for Columbus, and Mr.. GRIMEs'
50 was not thrown away. This ought to
boom the clairvoyant business.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

A comnspogpENr writes to congratulate
THr CnITIc on having started the GoRfAN
boom. That however, is hardly the way
TO put il, Tnx Carrie was the first paper
10 speak Of Mr.. GonMAN in connection
with the Democratic nomination for the
Presidency, but il cannot be said to have
started his boom. Mr.. GoaMAE started
that himself by his splendid exhibition
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
rAnAcRAPHrc.
Keep tho Middle Course.

Keep tho Middle Course.
From Puck.
Edith-And would you marry for
SIa6el--would you marry without IT.
New Word Needed.
From ne Chicago Tribune.
Polhcmus had my typewriter two
years and all IL has cost me.is s1.05 for oil
and ribbons.
PoweIson--Nline costs me s75 year for
ribbons alone.
How does that happcn?"
~ married mine. That's how"
Hc Got Her.
From The Plfts6Ug Dispatch.
The maiden blushcd and hung her head.
what do you take me forf" she said.
The young man rpok up, eagerly,
''For better or for worse" said he.
Her Dreams.
From ne chicago Tribune
Burglar (ilashing his dark lanterp)--
Wake up, herel Don't you make no noise,
nutherl Where's yer vallybles?
Elderly Maiden Lady (moving uneasily
in her slumbers)- Why, Algernon, this Is
so sudden, $3.50 unexpected!
Green-Eyed Envy.
From Me 50. Louis star.
Timkins-A Chicago girl stepped OH a
tack yesterday with her bare foot.
Tompkins-How she must have yelled.
Timkins-No, she didn't. She crushed
the tack.
More Honors for John.
From he ALBANY Argus.
Parisians have been informed by a local
paper that John L. Sullivan is son Of
Sir Arthur Sullivan, who will doubtless
be overwhelmed with the new honor and
write a new opera with pugilistic accom-
panimcnt,
From ne san Francisco ErdmiRer.
And speaking of Stanley, just befor the
explorer left New York he was rendered a
reception, at which were displayed more
than unusually startling array Of low
necked dresses. Observing. the great
traveller scrutinizing one particular, speci-
men of ebb-tide corsage, friend said:
mot been used to that sort of costume
of late, eh, Stanleyp
"On the contrary" said the African al,-
thority, cheerfully ''it makes me feel
quite at home. But you should see the
Uynayembes, my dear boye-you should
see the Uynayembesp'
An Editor as q Matcl-NIalxer.
From Me Cd,yo1ion, Ga, Times.
A young man from distance arrived
in the city to-day, in answer 10th adver-
tisement of ''young LADY, in yesterdays
issue. He is very desirous of becoming a
husband, wants to quit the error of his
| way, has good qualities, all his money
| has been stolen from him, and now he
wishes to marry good woman. We will
arrange for the match to go off in the
| sweet future.
An Insult.
From he NtD FORK Herald.
The most annoying thing that car
happen an old beau of the one-leg-insthe
grave order, who imagines he is "just a:
| young as ever" is when he has totteret
| into the horse car and fixed his admirlnE
| gaze upon o pretty girl, to have her rise
and offer him her seat out of consdera
tion for his years.
| Her Age Tells.
Jane-Oh, Mary, what do you think
Miss Lang de Quincy says? She can trace
her family back to the Conquest. Can yor
believe IL? Besides, what proof does sh,
| offer?
Mary--Why, what proof do you want
Look at her.
Richmond in Earnest.
From he augusta, Ca, Chr0nicle.
Richmond is in earnest about carrying
the remains of ex-President Jefferson
Davis to that city. An imposing monu
ment will be put over them in case the re
| mOyal Is effected.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

Mrs. Fordyce Langley, Long Island
matron, had for many years flattered her.
self that she walked with unusual grace
and dignity, but the other day a teacher
of manners told her that her gait was
"pudgy,'n, and she took laudanum and
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
Non-ConrnittaI.

HE.
What would you do, love,
II should leave yons
Say, would II grieye you
To say fnrewclli
W0nld you be true, love-
Tho broken hearted,
We two werc parted
Whatc'er bcfelly
SHE.
oh, ask me not
What would do, love,
II 10 yon love,
should say farewell.
Until I know, dear,
Jnst where youDl go, dear,
How can l tellf
--Nsw YORK Hsrald.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

Of craftsmanship and by his disclosure Of
almost mntchless ability as leader and
parliamentarian What THE Cnrrrc did
was to call attention to facts already ac-
coutlisbpd
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

A MEETING OF TIE Italians resident in
the city of Birmingham, Ala, was held
last Friday to protest against the use Of
the word "dago,' as applied to them.
Several resolutions orammed full of
eruptiye oratory were adopted, and COM
mittee appointed to wait on the local
newspapers and remind them that in the
bright lexicon of Birmingham journalism
there must be no such word as dago.
The papers have not yet been heard from.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

JAY GOULD rs DOWN in Georgia. He
has told the delighted Georgians how he
is going to boom Savannah. If the guile.
less Georgians don't look out, GouLD will
corral the whole State.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

TiIE PRINCE or WALES, the Marquis of
SALISBURY and Mr. GLADSTONE dined with
the Duke and Duchess of Fife last Sunday
evening, No odoubt the band played Annie
Ia.Irie.n
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

TnE Deita OF NEW ORLEANS thus felici-
tates the Crescent City on the manifold
blessings il enjoys
People in the South, and especially in
Louisiana, have much to be thankful for,
and not least among ollr many blessings
is our glorious climate. Here in the early
part Of February we sit with open win
fake the shady side Of the street.
And not word about the mosquitoesl
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

TnH NIGHT SESSION of the Senate last
night was slimiy attended. The Senate
might as well stick 10 matinee perform
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

The THREE II. NJ y. A. members of the
Illinois Legislature, despairing of electng
their man STRgETER have decided TO take
no further part in the balloting for United
States Senator. The Republicans and
Democrats can now fight it out among
themselves while farmers will sit ON the
fence and look at the fracas.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
PERSONAL.

TuE NEW ITALIAN CABINET is about ready
for the varnisher.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

lS THE SENATORIAL balloting in the
South Dakota Legislature yesterday a
,nember with fine sense of humor voted
Tor "a. Chestnut
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

A CADRAiY OF THE HOLY CROSS,
IN 1919 Massachusetts, Avenue,
Affords every facility FOR acquiring thorough
education In Literature, Music and Art. The
instruments taught are Piano, Harp, Violin,
Guitar, Mandolin and Banjo. Languages, gen.
eral vocal, drawing and fancy work free.
eel2-iy
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
WILSON g. CARR,
e2e F ST. N. w.
Baltimore store-4 and @ Baltimore St.
SEASIDE RESORTS

TINTED STATES HOTEL
" ATLANTIC CITY, N. j.,
fRsR sS New IA sna e1a'SS sssant
in all Its appointments; 800 rooms, large and
spacious; sun parlors, steam heat In every
room; elevators, electric bella, etc; pnobstrncted
view and only one block from the ocean; inest
location on the Islhnd. Late dinner. NEAL a.
HAMILTON, Proprietors. 1a22-f
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

From he Au0usfd, Ca, Chronicle.
Richmond is in earnest about carrying
the remains of ex-President Jefferson
Davis to that city. An imposing monu-
ment will be put over them in case the re-
moYal is effected.
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
THEY FIXED HILL
so AS TO GET HIM OUT OF cLEvE
LANDS WAY.

A Combination Of Democratic Senator's TO
Wipc Ont the Rivalties In New York
Henry watterson the Go-Bctwcen
and the Governor Was Brought TO
Tcrms
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10

Jane-Oh, Mary, what do you think
Miss Lang de Quincy says? She can trace
her family back to the Conquest. Can you
believe il? Besides, what proof does she
offer?
Mary--Why, what proof do you want?
Look Mt her
The critic. (Washington, D.C.) 1890-1891, 1891-02-10
An Insult.
From ths INfp York Herald.

The most annoying thing that can
happen an old beau of the one-leg-inithe-
grave order, who imagines he is "just as
young as ever" is when he has tottered
into the horse car and fixed his admiring
and offer him her seat out of considera-
flor, Gov h;o x,aoro