Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-06-17
FUN.

"Were you at the party last night
"No; my wife went. 1 staid at hom,
and took care of the baby" "Wel
what kind of time did you haver
"Rocky" - GAmerican Commercial
Traveller.
Said the flaxen-haired maiden to tn
dapper young man behind the counter.
'.Have you any nice, soft muslin tha'
will suit my complexion and hairY
Clerk-''Blcached or unbleached?"-
[Troy Press.
1t is pity that people do not know
who invented the hand-organ. MANY
modern sufferers would like TO erect :
high monument over that mans .ravc
so as to bc sure to keep him down.
Bonneville Journal.
Little Boy Cooking up from th'
paper)-"Papa, George Francis TraiI
eats nothing but fruit" Papa.-''ln
decdl Well, well, who would hay,
thought it? My son, avoid fruit
New York Weekly.
Henry-''So you asked old Growle
for his daughter last night, did you
Fred? And how did you come out?'
Fred-'It was out window, ] be
licve, Henry. That was the best
could do, though. ."-LNew York sun
a coach dog is so called because Ia
needs so much coaching to make hin
good for anything useful. As fight
er, however, the coach dog is game al
over. You can kill him, but you can
knock the spots out of him Bosto'
Journal.
Drug clerks ought to have good sal
aries. The man who hurts his con
science 900 times a day by saying
awe do not keep it; but we have
preparation put up by ourselves tina
is better" should be well paid TNeV
Orleans Picayune.
Mrs. Cobwigger-'I never like /
take my little gil TO church; sh
asks me such queer questions o
the way home" Mrs. Brown-..Tha
isn't half as bad as my little girl; sh
asks the questions right out loud ,
church. = IIarper's Bazar.
II is said that Jay Gould was a witt
young man. But, Of course, so shar
financier could not long be as shoI
as the brevity of wit reqnires, or fa
to discover that there is not much SER
Gus gain TO be made out of laughin
stocks.-TBaltimore American.
Lady caller-''I'm very sorry to hca
that your husband has failed, Mr.;
| Takeiteasy. 1t must be" Mr.
Takeiteasy (sobbing)-''Yes, it
dreadful, but" Frightening visibly
"my new bonnet came home just til
day before the crash. . Philadelphia
Inquirer.
ROped in Jack Overstroke (who
unwillingly giving Miss Olecrop
swimming lesson)-"Now don't /
afraid. just trust yourself to me, an
let me support you" Miss Olccro
-'It's rather an unfair advantage {
take in the water; but-you may as
p-p-papa."-[Puck.
Mrs. Menage Oaying down mornin
paper in disgust-"This catering I
servants is going too far" Mr.. NJ
"What now?" Mrs. Nah ii
papers full of advertisements of Cook
excursions. It's ridiculous putin
such ideas in their heads at a tin
when they can least be spared. ."-Lif'
A secret worth knowing-"'Youn
man." said the long-haired passeng'
to the occupant of the seat ahead, ed
YOU know that I've never spent a do
lar for liquor in my whole life!
''Really?" responded the young maj
turning half way round with a loo
of great interest on his face. "IIo
do you work itI'-[Life.
Two very charming young ladi,
were chatting in street car recent
$50 you've been down to the campi
asked one. "Yes; and it's perfect
splendid down there" 'sDid the so
diers take their arms wiz them
"Of course they did. You don't su
pose they would leave them at HON
do you?" al shouldn't like tC
there when they were shooting
al hate shooting" "Why, silly, tn,
don't shoot" 'Don't they? What {
they do with their arms, then:
"Why, they put 'em around you,
course; and it's ever SC nice"