The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-03-28
MISCELLANEOUS.


Laffagen-"Reachingt after the unat-
tainable, dear?" Mr.. Laffagen--"It APP
pears so. l can't seem to reach the end
of the broken suspender under the back
of my waistcoat."
Mrs Jones -"Don't forget those
things, and by the way, George, we are
to have mother for dinner to-day"
Mr.. Jones-'Well, hope she will come
on the table baked done, and the head
off. National Weekly.
Marriage Broler.-"There is the
picture of Miss Perlstone. What do you
think of her?" Customer-"H'm, must
say it all depends on the size of her
marriage portion whether her cheeks
are fallen in or are merely overgrown
dimples. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Decidedly Decided. -"Your husband
is decided pessimist, isn't hep" said
Mrs. Shattuck to Mrs. Dinwiddie. 4"
"Decided?" replied Mrs. Dinwiddie.
II should say he was; you ought to have
heard his decided mo- when asked him
for $50 yesterday. Inter Ocean
She - That's curious match
Charlie Pigott is about to make. They
say the girl is regular tomboy--climbs
trees, and all that sort of thing" He
"Humphl That's why he likes her.
His rooms are on the fifth Loor - no
elevator. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
Handy All Around.-'If 1 marry
Miss Bond,' observed Lummix, 'people
will say l am after her money. You
see / am literally handicapped by her
fortune" "If you can get the girl you
ought not to mind the handicap" re-
piled Sbimgullet you'd find her for
tune handy for bonnets too. Inter
Ocean.
"A Sensible Merchant.-Brown Ito
his Office boy)-"All ready to close up
for ithe night?" Office Boy-"Yes sir"
Brown-'Is the; safe locl1ed?" Office
Boy-"Yes, sir" Brown-"Then, I'M
lock it. There's just fifty cents worth
of postage stamps inside, and l don't
want some burglar to come and ruin a
$3.50 safe to get at them. Light
Faithful Unto Death.-A Syracuse
street car horse which got into the
habit of kicking was tied in stall and
a bag arranged for him to practice on.
He began at seven in the morning and
kicked until 11:35 without let up, and
then brolxen-hearted and disgusted with
mans ways, he fell on his side and
yielded up his life.-Detroit Free Press.
Not the'Kind of Tip He Wanted.-
Crusty from the rural district) -"What
we poEin' yer hand at me for?" Waiter
Yer fo'got something, sah." Crusty
-"No, hain't, guess. You're waitin
for tip, amt YEP" Waiter-"If yoh
please, sah." Crusty-"Waal, here's q
straight one. Yer keep on waitin an
you'll be gray long fore you're rich."-
Chicago Times.
The latest estimate of the twelve
largest cities in the world, in the order
of their population, is as follows: Lon
don, Eng. Including suburbs), $780,
613; Paris, 2,344, $50; Osaka, Japan,
1858, 144; New York City, 1918, SOL; Can
ton, China, 1,5OO,OOO; Aitchi, Japan,
$780, ,7O2; Berlin, Prussia, 1915, 297;
Toxic, Japan, 1,2Ss, ,9O7; Vienna, Aus
tria, LOB, s57; Chicago, 1,O99, 1873; Phila-
delphia, 1, ,O46, ,252; Sian, China, 1000, 00O
Six elephants were seized the other
evening in a circus at Amiens, by a
sheriff's officer who had warrant
against their proprietor. The repre-
sentative of the law and his men are re-
ported to have acted with great pru-
dence, showing a certain diffidence at
first in approaching the pachyderms,
who were probably fourishing their
trunks in defiance of the writs. At last
a move was made by the process-serv-
ers, and the "Jumbos" were led out of
the circus quietly and impounded.
When Chinaman desires to return
to his native land from this country, he
cunningly takes advantage of the ex-
clusion act. He quietly makes his way
to the Mexican line, and boldly crosses
back to the territory of Uncle Sam, as
if he were recently arrived emigrant.
The United States officials arrest him,
and after a trial he is returned to China
at the expense of this government
-Talleyrand was sent on a diplomatic
mission to London, to conclude an alli-
ance between France and England.
But while the negotiations were pend
ing news came that Louis the Four
teenth had been deposed M. de Tai
leyrand's mission was at an end. He
had not been very favorably received.
The queen had turned her back ON him
when presented at st. James. "She
did right" said Talleyrand, afterward:
'her majesty is very ugly"
The Island of Juan Fernandez, once
inhabited by Robinson Crusoe, is now
tenanted by former Austrian officer,
Baron Won Rodth, who, after being
forced by the terrible wounds which he
received at the battle of Sadowa in 1856
to leave the army, grew tired of the
monotony of existence in civilized Eu-
rope, and determined to devote his for-
tune to life of adventure. For fifteen
years past he has been living on the
Island of Juan Fernandez with small
colony of natives and of European de.
serters from civilization, and only com
municating with the world once year,
when he sends his fine sailing yacht tc
Valparaiso for provisions and supplies.
To the farmer boy who has never
seen horse cleaned except by hand
with the good old currycomb and brush
it would be quite sight to visit some
of the large city barns of the American
car or express companies, or large livery
establishments, and see the horses
cleaned by steam, so to speak Should
he visit the Palmer House livery stables
Chicago, he might see any day horse
undergoing his toilet-in stable par
lance, "gettin' cleaned and cufried.
In exactly forty seconds the animal i;
turned over to his keeper as bright as a
new pin, not speck of dirt nor turned
hair to be seen on his sleek, shiny coat