The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-04-26
SALT LAKES FORTY
They Will not Battle With the
Common Herd.
;IG SCHEMES FOR GARFIELD
Furniture for the Knutsford Arriying-Realty
Sales OF Yesterday-Building and
Business Notes.

The exclusive set have felt right along
that 1t was indignity insufferable, to battle
with the common herd, and are now devils
ing means and measures to enjoy pool
that Will be suitable to their rank far from
the maddening crowd.
Those who will not be fortunate enough
to secure the favor of the distingue set will
continue to soak their skins in the common
pool, as the exclusive waters will be
marked off by Pyrian flags set up in buoys.
The head and front of the Pyrian club Is
Mr.. Edward B. Wicks, who has forged his
way very rapidly to the position of a soci-
ETY. leader and aspires to Guido the Paveys
in setting 1.-The mark acceptable" to the
conformists. Young Holden will also con-
tribute his full measure to the success of
the enterprise and Baron Woodruff with
dignified mein) will look after the financial
accounts of the concern.
The persons who will, with self-com-
placency, eagerly seek the privileges of the
| clubs water will be plenty as the spills Of
the pine in Michigan forest. The mental
and physical deficiencies of the numerous
aspirants will be searchingly scrutinized,
and those who cannot muster up the neces-
sary inches under the tape in biceptical &C
compliShments must display pedigrees that
will reach back several centuries, more or
less.
The plans of the club are being made a
dead secret, but that precaution in no way
dlsconcerts free circulation of the news.
In fact THE HERALD six weeks ago sug-
gested the idea upon which the club, Is
working.
The Pyrian club will locate it's pier
about fifteen hundred feet east of Garfield,
to prevent any contamination whatever Of
the common and select waters.
| The club house will be located on the
shore, from which the pier will lead out
into the water some three hundred feet. 1t
is proposed to locate the bath rooms under
the pier SC that the ladies may plunge into
the brine from the doors of their own
dressing rooms, obviatlng the annoying
practice of being stared at by their many
gallant admirers whose peering eyes are
always set for female loneliness in every
passing form.
The bathrooms are to be somewhat of g
luxury. Instead of the ''cracky'' old at
fairs that are often suggestive of open lat
i tice work and which often sorely tempt
curiosity seekers even beyond the line OF
rooms of two apartments. The ladies bath
rooms will have dressing apartments car
lpeted and supplied with lounges where
(they can 'catch their bre ath" after taking
the cold shower.
The club room proper will have large
dining room, 40x60 feet, and the best che
that can be hired will preside over tn,
kitchen. There will be parlors, reception.
and such other conveniences as are com
mon to summer club houses. The number
of bathrooms on the start will be forty an(
this number will necessarily make it very
exclusive affair. The different society set
denied its privileges will, no doubt, disput,
the special prerogative of the Pyrians ant
start opposition clubs.
Life at Garfield promises to be gay if not
giddy, and full of social struggles.
One Of the stunning young swells VIII
was let into the secret assured The HERALI
reporter that there would be nothing som
Der about the Pyrians. "They would SHOW
what bathing was!' There is to be de
cided change in bathing costumes, ant
young ladies who anticipate the privilege
of the club should first consult the color
of barber pole before ordering their bath
ing suits.
1t has not yet been decided whether tn
coy young madens who think it is vulga
themselves to be admired while trotting o.
the hot sands
The rules of the club should not be to
rigid or the innocent girls will prefer t
stir up the pier at Garfield by their aquati
agility than to reserve all their charms TO
the few young lords who would lord it owe
them at Pyrian pier.
In this connection it is to be kept in minC
"There will be nothing somber about tn
Pyrian club