The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-11-25
PITH AND POINT.

ooSAVA Wao - pCAAOAokJ 4SPASo6StAh
by unfavorable notices OF his work
may be said to be critically ll.-LouN
Courier.
A fox skin is worth a dollar; but it's
the hardest way to earn q dollar to get 9
fox where you can skin him.-Bingham
ton Leader.
If the world is really twenty-six million
years old what a pitifully Insignificant
person its 'soldest inhabitant" ill.,
Courier Journal. Il
Bachelor-"You look cross, old fell
low. What did you have for breakfastf~
Henpecked (grufiy)-"A family broil.n
-Nev York Journal.
tits very rare nowadays that the office
seeks the man.: and even when such
thing occurs the chase Is usually very
sluggish.-1eras Settings.
Charlie-"What makes the old cat
howl so9" Waiter-"I guess you'dmake
q noise if you was full of fddlestrings
inside. "-Nep York World.
l cannot love my fellow men,
To me they can't be dear,
Because my love is all used up
On girls from year toyear.
-Net0 York Herald.
Agreat man can disappoint his enemies
most by dying, and SO compelling them
to hold their tongues out OF obedience to-
the laws of public decency.-Atehisn
Globe.
81 will now close the case for my
client with 3 clinching argument" said
the Law. struck workman, as he nailed up
the box to be expressed.-BahiosOrs
american.
Teacher-stJohnrie, which State in
New England has two capitalist" Johnnie
hampshire. "Tescher-sIndeedt
Name themW Johnnie-"Capital n
and H."-Braoklyn Eagle.
1t is a vel. established principle Of
economics that the young man who
would get up with the sun should not
stay up later than ten o'clock with the
daughter. -Lancaster Times.
Let an old man advise a younger one
and he will say: "Be patient. The old
may never have learned how to be pa
tient, but they may have learned the
value of il. "-Atcbison Globe.
"There goes a man who has saved
sixty.three lives" "You-don't ssya"
"Yes, when his house burned down he
carried out the family cat and six kit
tens."-Indianap0lis Journal.
Miss de Mure-'But why did you
get dropped, MIR. Flagel" Mr.. Percy
Flage late '92)-''I didn't write all my
Junior forensics." Miss de Mure-
"Who didT-Haruard Lampoon.
The latest problem DR.. William A.
Hammond takes up for discussion is,
"Have we two brains?" He could COM
fort some folks immensely by proving
fifty per cent. of it.-PhaadetphM Leu
ger.
.sWhy do you not eat your apple,
TommyW 'I'm waitin' till Johnny
Briggs comes along. Apples tastes lots
better when there's some other kid to
watch you eat 'em."-Lndianapots Jour
nal.
Bride lin spe)-sl should like to give
my intended a little surprise before our
marriage. What would you adviser"
Female Friend-"Hum present him with
YOU certificate of birth."-Fiegends
Blaetter.
The Missionary Spirit: Mrs. Watts
I'll suppose it is owing to the lack OF
time that you never wash your facet"
Hungry Higgins-''Yes'm. I'm too
busy s%courin' the country. "-lndianaposss
Journal.
Good manners are aptly defined by
the etiquette man of the Bradford
(Penn.) Era as the art of abstalnlng
from falling over your " feet and
making other people feel satisfied with
themselves.
It is not surprising that a summer
hotel should burn down at the end OF the
season. Think of the burning aspira-
lions among the summer girls it has
had under its roof for so many montns.
Boston Transcript.
"she is a good girl" said Mrs. De-
Kadenz. land not only understood her
duties, but knew her place. 1had to let
her 90, though. 1 have been studying
Fidos character rather closely, and l
really believe that blondes are distasteful
to the dear angel."-lndianapolis Journal.
diets play war;" said little Tommy.
SHOW do you play war;" asked little
Eddie. .'Oh, it's easy enough. You
take the breadknife and I'll take the
toasting foek." "What'll we do thenf"
"Nothing but stand and look at each
other and both be afraid. "-DstroH Free
Press.