New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-11-04

with any expectation of bringing HIM whers 4. u. "a
measured By those VINO have presumptuourS ~ -
| tered between him and the good work be- NJ. -.
here. People flock more and more 10 be-, -
Hal preach as tie day Of his departure ia. -
| shores draws Nigh
Brown-But you must admit that the NeK,,,~ =.
has sent up the price OF drygoods: "
the whole day yesterday shopping and ~ xat
spend cent more than on any former 0ctasioo o11
Brown-she didn't find any rise IN priess
Foae-I didn't say that. she never b,s 4.
anything for samples, you know.-(Boston Tr,ssA
Says "The Boston Saturday Evening t.,..'
There are In a certain town In ylddlevr g.
two rival undertakcrs establishments, each a, ~.aH
IL naturally anxious 30 obtain all the patrou.,. -
sible. one OF these undertakers rejoloes IN /. ~.
heir who shares his patcrnal parents proper 49,
tho success of the establishment. citizen a ~
town had been lying dangerously III for sous -
with typhoid fever, and the two professional mar ~
anxlously awaiting the cveDtful decision 80
themselves. The patient died, and a chance ,,~.',s
saw the small son Of the Aforesaid executing ~ ~
promptu wsr-dancc IN the front yard II hs 49,,
mansion, while he loudly announced over tha -
10 all the neighbors 'Hooray Fathers got ~,
Fathers got hlmp'
THE UyDERTow.
You hadn't ought to blame man for things be A.cs
For books he hasn't written er fer fights he ham.
Tho waters may look placid on the surface all rss,
An yet there may be undcrtow keepln N.
down.
Since the days of Eve and Adam, when Ia. fight ~
1t amt been safe, my brethren. fer to lightly Iva.
lie may be tryin' faithful fer to mako his LIZ. . -
An yet his legs git tangled In 'he Teachrous rns
tow.
lie NAV not lack in learnin, an he may not VAN q,
lie NAV he always workn with the patentst Of D.,,,
An yet go unrewarded, an, my friends, how csa :,
know
What heights he might acllmbed up to but for q,
undertow.
You've heard the Yankee story OF the hen's IA
An how the hen KEEP layln' eggs with all her ura
Yet never got settn', nor a single egg I .sor
That hen was simply kckin gin hidden uidsr.ov
There's holes in lots Of hens nests, an you've 90
To see the eggs arallin, where they hadn't olsht 10 "A
Don't blame a man fer faln' to achieve . k.y
Until you're sure the under,ow alnt drasgn' Of N.
down. Unidentified Exchanu
In Boston. one problem is no sooner settled TIM
another pops up. This is what makes Life In IN.
otherwise quiet town so full Of mental excitsnec,
The supply of problems waiting to be solved prva
cay inexhaustible SO that the true Bostonian Is A.
WAYS sure OF having Intellectual tournament resd,
Mt his hand. There are indeed, few Bostonians ph,
have no desire TO tackle problems, Just as tere are s
degenerate Americans who do not read the baseball
column in the papers. To such the worship of/sors
nice fad comes as a vocation ard avOcaton. Bos
ton fad is like a mathematical poiut-it has position
but neither length, breadth nor thickness And ya
by skllful exploiting 1t can be so dstendet that 10 VII
look bigger to the eye than all the rest Of ceauon
A Bostonian wrestling with a problem Is sometimes
IL. IL.
Of LAGOON in the tolls of the seFpents. But Boz
tonian nursing a fad is always picture Of sesihsts
beauty. lie is like the acrobat who "does his tun'
to the strains of inspiring music And you know thai
when he finishes, he Will presently he will surely
land on his feet and gracefully kiss his hand to tx
audience.
journalistic Cyclcs.-Mrs. RciderI see the man who
has been exchange editor Of The Daily Night &
MIR, Rcider-NIy! my! I'm sorry to hear that. Nos
they'll put some young fellow In his place and they'll
be printing all the Old Jokes over again-lsueet .
Smiths Good News.
First Club Lounger-What Like about sef-msds
men is that they always do everything so thoroughly.
Second Dtto-Don't know about that, dear boy
They sometimes turn out pretty badly done loo v
making themselves, you know.
Scientific Fallacies.-Old Lady-These 'ere sc.cnr
tAc notes in tn papers nowadays Just MAKE me urea
Never heard such nonsense In my born days
Nephew-What have you struck now, aunr
Old Iady-Ths paper says Jupiter Is In opposition
to the sun 1'he idea ole Jupiter can't hold can
die TO him.-(New-YorlI Weekly.
According TO "The Presbyterian and ReiSrmel
Review. the total number of distinct words in The Nv
Testament excluding proper names and their dasTs
tiyes, is 1929. A few comparisons may be interesting
The vocabulary OF the Old Testament is Eef. Gs'-
nius's Lexicon" emitting proper names and obsolete
roots contains $50 words. Of which e42 are marked
. % JiIadv nd Odyssey
tain 900 words Shakespeare uses 5000 aod xioa
1000.
Appropriate OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES have 60
moves at q slow pace, 1t will cost you great ses
more TO bury your husband than II We uot
w--How-much-mOre
Undertaker--At least 800. -.
wIdow-I-er-think we'd better trot. Ny hrsoeM