Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-08-29
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
He Bought Slow Drying varnish for HI.
Gentle Spouse.

He Bought Slow Drying varnish for HI.
Gentle Spouse.
1t Is perfectly right and proper TO
grahfy every reas enable wish of ones
wife, and that is the reason got into a
p.o4A C"O y. ..>,I 40 a. ,..,.v ..,..s,,,,,,,
When my wife arose from the break
fast table recently she turned to me with
question:
my dear, can't you send down a cnn
OF varnish and brush from the store
this morning."
Nothing easier 1 replied; "but what
on earth do you want with vapnish?'
Il want to varnish my sewing ma
chine; it is looking awful rusty"
did not ln0w there were two kinds
of varnish-a quick drying and slow
drying-so l simply ordered yarnish
and brush. They would be sent imne-
diately.
Invent on to the Office.
took dinner at s down town restau-
rant, and the varnish and brush had not
entered my mind during the whole dav.
Just as entered The gate in the even
ing thought of them.
1t was good dark, 5" but the hall lamp
had not been lighted
And think shat was part of the plot,
opened the door urriedly and started
IN brisk walk down the ball.
l had hardly. taken a step whom 7
ralnmed my knee against a chair. An
other step-another chair, Both sssins
skinned and III the dark took another
sses and my foot landed s,taaDely upon
the basy's bttle rocker, which proeeecaed
~ turn bottom uDwapa, cassfng me 10
lose my equilibrium, and went ssoryvl-
ing TO, the floor, striking two or three
move chairs III the meantime.
Ii made terrible racket, and nv wife
iDslred:
whats the matter, dear?'
''Oh, nothing. Just swinging corners
out here with chairs and things" an
severed as calmly as possible.
1 scrambled to my fest and started
again. when | struck that bl,stsd ma
chime, vanish and all, which landed me
rhTs time smack into the baby carriage,
breaking the springs and very nearly
breaking my neck.
Did you hurt yourself, dear?" came
that voice again, which had the effect of
making me feel like choking the life cut
of something on somebody.
Did I hurt myself, yoa ask? Oh, no.
not much" said |, ''only broke a leg and
arm and punched one eye out-that's
all"
why don't You come iaf' she in
quired in a tone Of voice that was re-
markable for its calmness under the cir
cumstances.
Come in:" 1 screamed, chow in the
name of sweet Solomon can |? Haven't
been trying for the last ten minutes to
coIae in. and don't run a great risk of
losing my life every time l Try it? Why
in the name of all the saints didn't YOU
tell me this morning you We're going to
move out into the hall, so l could have
governed myself accordingly?"
Then she came to the door with a
lamp, and | succeeded Ia getring myself
un,angled from that baby carriage,
WHICH presented the appearance of hav-
ing been kicked by Georgia mule.
stepped into my room with a weary,
bruised feeling, and laid my hand on the
back of big rocker.
Don't touch that-it is vanished"
80 l discover said l, as l pulled NV
fingers from it.
went over to another chair. and was
preparing to sit down.
Don't SIT there-it is varnished,n
l made a DIVE for another chair, and
was stopped-varnished!
The clock was ticking very lazily, and
l knew it wanted winding. Wren l ell
deavored to take my Kinds tren it, it
came with them. My fingers had again
stuck-in varnish!
was beeOr@ny desperate.
Ny next move was to try trunk
dared not risk any more chasR took
a seat before she could interfere, this
time, and ruined a new pair of breeches
by the operation-tne trunk was var
nished.
1nis was too much.
Now, tnen," said l. after pulling my
self loose from the trunk. will You
please tell me. while stand right still,
where ana what you have Vanished?
would like 10 move iU0elligentfy after
this. see the baby has escaped. which
is exphfined, suppose, from the fact
that your stock of varnish was exhausted
before it came her turn"
She looked at me a moment with
pitiful smile, which smaclled somewhat
of contempt, and replied:
Don't talk foolish nov. Go and sit
on the front stoop, everything will be
dry 10y tomorrow morning"
sit on the front sUoop, indeed. Have
you, then in reality, smeared that stutf
over everything"
Don't my machine LOOK better" she
said, ignoring my question, and point
ing with a satisfied air at the machine.
which, by the way, was minus a leaf
jerked off in my last uudignifed fall into
the baby carriage.
Machine? Hang the machine! You
did NOT sfcgl with that. Won We varpiSbad