The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1891-06-11
THE LADY CASHIER.


time, appearing just when one is trying to
finish some occupation, and watch in hand,
saving blandly, Am l not punctualP'
Yes, sir, after serving as a regulator for all
clocks in my neighborhood for twenty years,
repeat punctuality is execrable.
/ am cured of it, for it was the cause Of
the greatest disappointment OF my life.
Listen, and judge for yourself.
For seven long years l had breakfasted at
the same restaurant; every morning at ex-
actly five minutes past eleven l opened the
door, and at precisely five minutes before
noon l closed it.
1t is useless to describe the lady cashier
suffice 1t to say that from the instant
tasted my first cup of coffee in that reStau-
rant, she Iegned in my heart.
Did my glances express my feelings?
cannot say, but / know that for seven years
we loved in silence. 1t took just that
length of time for me to get near enough to
speak to her, as l had 10 work my way
from table No. Z, which | first occupied, u2
TO table Nc. /, which stood next TO the
cashiers desk / was too punctual to arrive
an instant earlier at the restaurant than the
six other guests. and as they were as exact
as |, l was obliged TO employ strategy IN
order to diSlodge them.
The first man, at Table 6, was easily
disposed of. While waiting TO be served L
amused myself 10 cutting cOrkS, and the
sound set his teeth on edge and annoyed him
so much that he went into the next room,
and took his place
SIX months after chance came TO my aid
and relieved ME Of No .. A waiter broke
a goblet and split coffee on the table, and
the occupant being superStiti0uS insisted on
changing his seat SO l moved up again.
In the course OF the next two meals l sue
ceeded in making myself obnoxious TO No.
4, who had habit of taking little nap i'm
medlatey after his breakfast l c0ntriYed.
by fitting my chair, TO knock his repeatedly,
SO that at last he got up and left in a fury.
No. 5 held out only one day against me. l
made bread and butter black with caviare
and soaked it in my coffee, and the sight of
the mess made my neighbOr so sick that he
fled pTecipitately and hardly had time to get
out of the room.
Then l sat next to No. 2 All shall
never forget that man! 1t took ire four
years to get rid of him, and bat for the en-
cOuTaging chances Of my angel | should have
given up in despair. Perhaps you wonder
why ! did not come to breakfast two hours
earlier, wien / would have had my choice
OF tables. That would have been a simple
matter to most men, but l could not break
my rules, l was victim to the folly OF
punctualily.
To return to No. 2 I tried cork-cutting,
putting cayaire in my coffee and dancing
about on my chair, but it was all in vain.
Then l discovered that the man was stone
deaf, besides being blind in one eye. ! de-
| clded, therefore, TO attack him through his
pocket, and accordingly made practice of
surrepttiOuSly putting cups, glasses and
decanters close to bis elbow, on the blind
side, aud he invariably Knocked them
down, and had TO pay damages. Every day
there was a heap of broken glass aud
china on the floor between US, and every
day he paid the cost uncOmplainlngy. The
reStaurant-keeper prOfited largely by these
accidents, for be had the affl c,ed guest
served with cracked and broken ware, and
charged him with the price of new on lis
being demolished. At the end of four years
No. had destroyed as much table ware as
would suffice 10 set up in housekeeping all
the savages of Oceanica those people who
have so few luXuTie1 that one pair of gloves
is sufficient to make clothes for ten men.
Poor No. .! | pity him now, for | have
learned that the reason he chung to his post
50 pertnaciOusly was that he, too, adOred
the lady cashier. l had no mercy on him,
however, and being at the end Of my re-
sources, had resolved to nut the police on
his track, when he was one day knocked
down and killed by one Of those butchers
wagons, which are allowed, | know not
why. 10 rush through Paris streets at full
speed. The next morning | seated myself
at table \ 10. ?, where, although not quite
within the promised land, l enjoyed its de-
NclOus fragrance. l Oreathed the OdOr OF
the OlaDge-fOWer water which she poured
into hldeouS little oniOn-Shaped bottles.
Only one obstacle separated me from her,
my beloved 1t was No. l. | determined
to crush him, ana from that day war was
declared between US He was a terrible
man, formerly a captain of gendarmes
strong as a Turk, with heavy beard and
mustache. There was a certain amount of
gallantTy and sentiment, however. under
his rough exterior, for be used 10 Tx his
great eyes upon the lady cashier aud repeat
hour after hour these words: Il am like the
ivy, l die " here | attach myself"
The prospect did not console me in the
least, for be looked as if he would live to be
a hundred. l tried to win the monster by
relating amusing tales and making puns,
but he suddenly dampened my ardor by
saying, as he twisted his mustache iercely,
ARE You aware, sir, that it was owing TO
his wasting time in making puns that
GrOuchy arrived too late at Waterloo"
This piece Of historical information aston
lshed me not little, and felt that if France
could mislay her code for twenty-four hours
| would jOyfully stab the terrible captain
in the back. At last Heaven tOuk pity on
NE and my love and sent an epidemic sick
ness which carried eff my rival
Immediately | was installed at table No.
/. l was next to her. contemplated her
charming figure above the desk, her blonde
hair, her rosebud mouth. Seven years had
indeed made some alterations ia her charms,
but [ saw her only with the eyes Of-that
first cup of coffee. | cannot describe our
mutual emotions at that moment so long
waited for; JOY nearly suffocated us and
turned our brains; l dipped my napkin into
the dPcantcr and poured coffee into my
pocket-bOok, while she piled no sous on
plates and dropped sugar Jumps into the
money drawer Only a few words were
p 20 har
else in the room suspected anything when
affecting TO be reading tue hatiers inside my
hat l muTmured from the depths OF the
lining, 81 love thee"
She, while apparently busy in drying a
punch Dos !, replied " love thee"
" Be my wife, | added. Tomorrow at
my notary. at thrty-hve minutes past nine"
The next morning at the minute agreed
on | was with my notary, and while he pre-
pared the papers tried to describe my be-
loved.
You will see herP' 1 cried in ecstasy.
She is a blonde, slender, beautful-she
has the hands OF queen and the throat Of
goddess. For seven long years l have loved
her"
Suddenly the notary asked in a careless
way, " Is she short or tall?"
This simple question overwhelmed me
and ] could only answer, 81 don't know"
WhatH he exclaimed, "yOu have loved
her for seven years and cannot tell if she is
short or JtalI?"
at is the solemn truth. l have never
seen her except in the restaurant; | am so
exact and so Dunctual that | have never
been able to devote any time to her except
my breakfast hour, that is from five minutes
past eleven to five minutes before noon,
and all that time she is seated behind
desk, so that l have never seen lower than
her waist"
AS l finished speaking the door opened
may fell unconscious. The beloved OF my
heart, the angel Of my dreams was the pos