Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1891-02-04
Uncle Remus.
THE OLD MAN GIVES ADVICE TO A cOLoRED
BROTHER.

| Uncle Remus had been in the courthouse
to see gentleman for whom he does little
odds and ends of work. As hs came out
| he saw standing on the stone steps q
| sty lishly dressed negro man. He had on a
shining beaver, a heavy watch chain ran
| across his vest 'slike the sun, moon an
stars tied together" ss the old man de-
scribed it afterward, and silver headed
cane was tucked under his arm. Alto
gether he presented such an imposing ap-
pearance that Uncle Remus paused to take
an inventory of him. The old man has
fogy notions, especially in regard to col
| ored people, and to some Of the "new
ISSUE" as he calls them, he is known as q
| ''white folks nigger," which, 10 the
kitchen, is intended to be term of very
| severe reproach.
Perceiving that Uncle Remus was eyeing
him rather closely, the negro Strengthened
himself up and gave military salute. Ig-
noring the salutation, Uncle Remns paused.
"What mought yo' name be2" he in
quired. His tone was bland and insinua-
ting.
"My name, sub, Is William Henry
Ha'dem, de worr round"
"William Henry Haddem?" said Uncle
Remus, rubbing his head and cycling the
negro curiously.
Eyes, sub, de worl' 'roun'."
"i'm mighty glad ter hear dat" said
Uncle Remus, with the affectation of enthu-
siasm, ''kaze some er deze here highfalu-
tim niggers is name William Henry on one
side or towa en- John Jeems on ter side.-
5Vasser'! right in dish yer town, let lone
de 'roun' worp.p
s'.Wsll, sub, said William Henry,
"whereYer You go, you'll fipa Dat am
name William Henry Haddem. Gould you
be so kind, sub, ez to tell me where de
grand jury is settin' at?''
"What you gwine do wild de gran jury?"
inquired Uncle Remus, with some show of
solicitude
"Dey want me-" said William Henry
um"
"What dey want wild youa" Uncle Remus
asked.
"Witness," said the other, drawing him.
self up. 81 bin robbed right in de public
street; dey jumped on me and took my
money fun me right before my own eyes,
and Pm gwine up and tell do grand jury
all about i"
"When dey tuck en- rob you, said Uncle
Remus, show much did dey git9"
s'Sev'mty-five dollars" said William
Henry.
"Wuz de money all yonee'' asked Uncle
Remus, showing no surprise.
can exceptin' of sev'nty dollars" said
William Henry.
"Ah-yi!'' exclaimed Urcle Remus- "En
who is de sev-mty dollars belong to?"
It belong to de Jacobs Ladder 6erciety,"
said William Henry.
"Dar nowp' cried Uncle Remus.
"Yes, sub, said William Henry. eff it
had been my money, wouldn't worry
about it, but Pm de treasurer of de Jacobs
Ladder Serciety, and feels in juty bound
to make rifle and try ter git de money
back"
"Des sop said the old man.
"Yes, suh." William Henry went On,
growing more confidential, II WIZ walkin'
along with my hands in my pockets, when
two men jumped on me and got me down,
and when got up from dar was perfectly
pickleness. Yes, sahl perfectly nickle-
ness."
"Den what de Jacob Lathers saye" in
quired Uncle Remus.
"Dey amt held no meetin' sence," said
William Henry. "If de grand jury will do
dere juty, I'll git de money back befo' de
serceity meets"
"What you say yo' name mought bea''
said Uncle Remus, shifting the weight of
his body from one leg to the other.
| "Wiliana Henry Haddem."
s'rooby sho," said the old man. s'Had-
dem had um, and now he amt got um. Is
you bin foo!iD' round desc here gram
| iuries on cote-houses much?'
mo suh," said William Henry.
$50 fur, 80 good" said Uncle Remus.-
"You see deze here steps and dat dar door
dara Well, dey leads right straight to de
chain gang l bin see niggers go in Gar
lookin' mighty nigh ez big en- ez slick ez
what you is, en- when dey comes out dey
mos inginer'ly got somebody wild um fer
to pint out de way ter de rock pile. Dem
| white folks waitin' fer you right now. Eff
you 60 in dar, you ruffls up dat hat so she
won't shine, and hide dat ar watch chain
whar dsy can't see it, en- den when you
| git in dar you up On tell um dat you done
| fergit bout de circumstance or bein'
robbed, en- dat you speck you los dat
money som'ers in de big road. En den
when you come out'n dar, eff you come out
without any han'cnffs on you, you des take
yo' foot in yo' ham en- go swap de watch
chain fer one er dem er long railroad
tickets what look like 1t got jints in it,
| You her me talkin' II
William Henry Hidden gazed at Uncle
| Remus in astonishment. He looked at his
watch cha;n, examined his hat, and seemed
to be somewhat uneasy.
"What de Jacobs Ladder Serciety guine
ter do?' he asked.
| ssGi'um back der money! exclaimed
Uncle Remus; "gi'um back der money
Don't you dast ter go in dar en- tell dem
ar white folks de tale you biz tellin' me!'
With that the old man went on his way.
He looked back as he was turning corner
i some distance away, and saw William Hen
ry Haddem still standing where he had left
him.
4 JOEL CHANDLER HARRIS.
sEOWllt IRON BITTERS
i Cures Dyspeps ia, IN