New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1891-02-18
His Eyes Went Back on Hin

~. H.
DOCTOR said a red faced and
waCery eyed man from Wayne town
ship, as he came in DR.. Babcock's Of
nee, IN Hammondsport, the other
Jay, I'm afraid my eyes is goin,
pack onme, andI dropped in to kind
O see if [ can find out where they're
lame" :
"Ah!' said the doctor. "What
seems to be the matter with your
eyes?"
"That's what I don't know" re-
pied the man, but they played me a
trick t'other day that don't leave no
room for doubt but what there's
somethin' out O. gear with 'em some
how. III give you the symptoms.
Maybe you don't know that I'm quite
coon hunter, but I am. T'other day
my boy bought one O. these britch
loadin' and repeatin' shotguns, and
told him I'd go out and see how it.
q work on a coon. I went out, and
hadn't gone more than a mile up the
hill before l seen a big coonpop on to
the limb of a chestnut tree. He came
there SO sudden that I couldn't get
1t through me where he had come
from or how he got there. But l
didn't stop to ask no questions, but
up and blazed away. Now I've got
the name over our way, Doc, ofnever
mlssln' anything shoot at, and OF
course when pulled up and whang-
ed away at that coon [ expected to
see him tumble, but he didn't. When
the smoke cleared away he sot there
Jest as he was when I sten him first.
was surprised, now, I tell you. I
thought it was the guns fault, but
blazed away again. The coon never
moved. happened to look, some
how or other, at a tree off to the
right OF the one the coon was in, and
there sat another coon on q limb.
thought I'd try my luck on him,
and so let him have a shot. He
meyer stirred.
II begun to git mad by this time,
and durin' alittle conversation I was
havin' with myself about the gun
happened to glance at tree to the
left of the first tree, and there on a
limb was another coon. I tried my
luck on the third coon, and didn t
hit him no more than I did t'other
two. Hooked at the first tree; there
was that coon, sittin' right where he
was when 1 first seen him. I looked
at the second tree, and there was that
coon still on the limb. I turned my
head toward another tree, and there
l seen a fourth coon, and lookin'
around me whichever way I might,
every tree [ had seen had a coon in
it, and all as fat as coons could be.
Igot Wild
""Thunder!'' I hollered; there's the
woods full o'coons, and 1 hain't got
nothin' but this new tangled gun
that won't hit barn.
''But began to blaze away as fast
as the gun could spit a cartridge, fust
at one coon and then at another, I'M
til every darn load was emptied out O.
thatgun and hadn' t dropped coon.
Twas .jist agoin to slat that gun to fin
ters against a tree, when I happened to
rub my eye, and when [ took my
hand down, there on my finger was a
nice, jolly, fat wood louise. Hooked
up, but every coon was gone. The
fact O the matter is, Doc, that wood
louise had been hanging to one of my
eyewinkers all 'e time, and I
thought was see. IONS. Be I Git
tim near-sighted, or Is it the optic
nerve doublin' up on me?"
"Neither one,' said the doctor.
"Have the hind pocket in your hunt
ing pants cut down from quart size
to half-pint, and you'll be all right.
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it.-Ham-
mondsport Cor. New York Sun.