The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-10
BRIGHT BITS.

POLITICIAN (angriy)-These newspapers tell
sbominable lies about me.
FrieAd-And yet they might do worse.
Politician-Do worse? What do you mean?
Friend-They might tell the truth.-Kdte
Fields Washington
For all we know there really may be man
in the MOON said the leather drummer.
There is. said the hardware drum ner, who
was still indignant over la ~ been sent to the
top floor. Il leaned out OF my window and had
quite a talk with him last night. Indianapolis
Journal
WATTs-Don't you want to take half interest
10 patent? TIL res millions in it,
Potts-What is It?
Watts-A pocket diary that will last fifty
years. 1t will contain dates for only the first
week in the year for that period.-Indianlpo
JOu nal 1rG
|. THE LATEST boy in schools always closest to
the head of the procession when the circus is in
town. And in the procession of life he gets
there, too. This is not sal to encourage azi-
ness, but to suggest the putting of little more
CT. Gus into our manner Of neutrality-suspicious.
burg NelCS.
OLD GENrLEMAN-There goes young Broxhall.
His father was very eminent man, but | see
no hope for the son. He appears to have in
heritet none of The elements of greatness.
Young Gent-Why, paw 1t isn't week since
he was acknowled Jed the champion football
kicker of the clawss.-Good j ems.
ONE DEFECT IN public school teaching is the
failure to train pupils in reading handwriting.
IL would be an excellent exercise and no little
fun If the teacher would occasionally bring "a
bundle of business mems script and set the
children to puZzliny it out, Just as they will
have TO do little later in life. augusta Farmer
'BoBBY, your mamma tells me you are very
bright boy, and she expects you to make
bright man, " said Mr.. Blossom, as he was wait
ing for Bobby's sister.
Ma never does spect anything right" said
Bobby; ''She told pa she 'spected you aud my
cfc he raA apA tharf
more'n a year ago. Philadelphia Record.
1T is truly very cruel,
That to be with fashion pat.
When you meet a friend you never
Should neglect to lift your hat.
Really tits beyond endurance,
That the man whose pol is bare
Should be bound to do hat-tipping
Just the same as one with air.
-Teras Siftings.
School MIsTAKEs.-"F allacious' means like
ly to fail as He rode a "fallacious horse -
A girl in the course of an essay on the use of
pictures in schools said: Sight is a gift of
nature, for without sight pictures would be of
very little use" In the certificate examination
a second-year student wrote: ''Constautin pie
was formerly not belonging to England and
was a duh place, as the Turks genera ~ are;
but since it mas belonged to US, 1t has brighten ed
up, and is now the key to the Black sea-" An
other student said glaciers move down slopes
along valleys, over hills, just as streams do. -
London Journal OF Education.
THE GATE TENDER at the Main street crossing
left a deputy in charge rec ntly. 1t is custom
airy to hang a lighte ed lantern on the gate at
dark, lowering the gate for the purpose. AT
dark the new man looked at the gate towering
above him, and, thinking that it would take a
long ladder to reach the top, went to a neigl-
boring carpenters shop and borrowed the long
est ladder ne could find and hung the lighted
lantern. The next morning he looked at the
lantern and an idea dawned on him. He low
he gate nj laDfarn
next ii Q he tends the gate he will not borrow
a ladder.-B. tGnsWick (Ae.l Telegraph.