The critic., 1891-02-27
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE
A girl may do her level hest,


--Ptiiddeiphid Times.
Lent IL longest for the man who has no bills
to pay at Easter chicago Nail.
To he a success a soda;water fountain must
be u iirst-class fizzlc.-B -Btnghdinton Republican.
The opera singer who reaches the high notes
must have soar throat.-PidsJug dispatch.
The locomotive fireman, no matter how high
he rises, always has tender rccolcctons.-
Pitts1aTg Post.
There is m Indian in the milk business in
Chicago, lie is probably OF the Chalk-taw
A good many of our so-caled ''swcllr young
men have nothing about them to merit that
title but their hcads.-S. Joseph Neics.
''Those who dance must pay the fddlcr,'
except in cases Of a benevolent association
dance, Then the widows and orphans pay
Ne,p Orleans Picdyune.
"who l. this Indian Pow-wow they have
WAS IVA h he hara to hold " 7taas siJsisgs p''A
Mr.. Van Rensselaer, De Peystcr-will you
have tea, Miss Wabash?
Miss Wabash ION from Kansasl thanks,
Mr.. Dc Pcyster but II you could corral a little
bullion for me, I'D be yours truly.-Ha,per's
Bdsdr
Cumso-It seems queer to advertise methods
of suicide.
Mrs. cumso-What in the world do you
mean?
Cumso-Hcre Is an advertisement which
says: "Try pair OF our shoes, and You will
never wear another shoe. Hd,Pe,'s Basar.
Wickles-W Well,l I've left Old Bouncer.
Wicklcs-Yes; / couldn't work for him any
longer, found out he was nm iuccndiary.
.Ticks-An inccndiaryl Thst'sa very grave
Wickles--l know 1t, but can prove it.
wieslcs-eme has just fred mc.-Boston
Courier.
Fair Customer--ls this really antique?
| Furniture NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. revival
and er-cyolution OF an ancient court style,
Fair customer tdoubtfully)-what kind of
Dealer (mprcssively) y)--woods Madam, this
is the wood that poets haye'rayed over when
alluding TO the music Of nature; II IL the wood
that frst greeted the, eyes Of tho weary Pill
| erims at Plymouth Rock Rs the mighty trees,
! rich In verdire, bent beneath the snow; II Is
| the forests where It grows. Ills pine. m adani2
| genuine pine.--heio fork Wsekiy. r .''si
| There 10 q story told OF Bishop Potter and
| cot into print. believe, yet which IL funny.
| BIshop Potter Is the son of the Jats Bishop 81
| Pennsylvania, Alonzo Potter, who WIS one Of
s ssnSsw N hs IN M sSSR Shss SsS
York, whore assistant bishop he was for a long
time. The adoption Of the stage by Mrs. James
Brown Potter was extremely distasteful to all
asked to use his influence. lie saw the would
be actress and talked with her In VAN. At last
he hinted that II she must go on the stage she
might take some other name.
II 'NWlatl' she exclaimed stahDndOn the n m
j have made ramous!" 1851 att-,Fs,.'
Tho Bishop was dumb.-Neio York Continent.
l. Beedle-I hear you finding good deal oil
fault with others, but never heard you say
anything about your own faults.
L Creedle-Of course not The fact Is, life Is Sc
short don't have any time to think about my
| own shortcomings. It's as much M can do "a
look out for the faults OF others. Boston Tran
script.
"Lent am here now,n the Rev. oindcxtel
Cranberry remarked from the pulpit, ''an son,s
puesons likes to deny themselves certain tings
but, bruddera, 'taint no self-denial 10 glib III
putin money In dc plate an maxim yoh pustol
HsraG|Ra, ''''' 'AS A'' nc N"''0'' '''' f'''
Little Boy dn crowded street,car to prett,
little girD--lll give you my seat, II You'll
Little Girl twhisperingl- ever so muct
obliged, but you shouldn't oner your seat unit
you are ready TO get OF, cause people viii
think you're from the country = Good Nel1s.
Traycer.-How do yon like the appearance o
this part OF the countryy
Il Chance Acquaintance IL? / detcst II
| The people are ignorant degraded and hlthy
| Upon my word, Ihayen't seen sensible MAJ
or respectable woman since came here
They, They are hogs, SIR, simply hogs; boastful' iu
"Another word like that, You insulting pria
and III knock the top OF your head of Wha
part OF the country raises such men as you ~
'Sir, am an Englishman."
~ peg your pardon. \ am proud aud q
TO write your book about us = Chicago Tr
bhat.
yana yaIete.
Vain things farewell you must delight n
Old pipe, adieu; you scent the curtain s0--
'fis stfangcshe never noticed It before
A few more purs, old friend, and You must g,
No little games OF draw We'll, that's a
right;
The boys can visit Charley now, or Ned
No more sweet songs TO while a summer
night,
Though We sang charmingly, she often sal
No "pOcnla uurata;N they're taboocd;
must keep early hours must cut the boys
In fact, must be very, very good
And give up all menage Dc garcon Joys.
SO ilie old order passeth; these mpsf 90,
i clarIfsc, Ma Belle, Pepita, Bonnie--no.
III keep them; nut III hide them, thong
from Kate. t.t t ~
vsSa i @ vsIeis' I'm MI, s$arrisd M Ss3' Man a.
ENVOY.
All prinee, III give you pointer az map se