The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1891-07-03
Wards Words.

Don't ever carry coin in your mouth.
You might swallow it, and then think how
many mouths it has been i'm before it struck
yours, and how many dirty, sweaty hands
it has passed through from way back. Bank
bills are still worse for they may contain
the germs of typhoid fever, small pox,
scarlet fever or measles besides numerous
other diseases. These are facts.
Don't think when you are passing down
the public highway that everyone is looking
at you. They aren't, they are thinking just
as you are-about their looks and general
makeup. Keep right on attending to what
ever you have in hand and you will soon
forget your own worry and be looking out
for the wants of others.
''Our LATEST man in town" sat leaning his
chair against the shady side of store with
his mouth open the other day until an in
dustrious spider had spun web over it and
caught fly. 'Myw said he show thick
these flies and things be-" Over i'm West
Laingsburg it's fact they do say, that the
mosquitoes are so large that the small boys
have broken them to ride. They beat BIZ
cycles away off they say.
AS the old man Weatherwax came home
from prayer meeting last Thursday night
with his hands behind him, humming that
good old tune "The Old Ship Zion" he had
just got to the open door and was about to
step in when Harriet who was brushing
the mosquitoes and had just corraled them
in corner by the door, opened it, and to
give the mosquitoes one everlasting send-Off,
she struck blow with feather duster that
was sufficient to send every mosquito to
continuous and everlasting destruction.
Alas for bothf The ball in the handle
struck the old man on his bald spot and
tho not much hurt he went down like
plummet and gave a yell that was simply
terrific.
"Why! are you dead?" cried Harriet hur-
rying to him. ''Oh dear, dear! Johnnie,
light lamp, quick nOw."
Johnnie made light and one of the
neighbors having heard the yell came run
ming in and wanted to know what was the
matter.
Matter" howled the old man as he lay
there on the door step with his eyes open.
"Matter?' why its a case of murder with
the intent to kill! That's what's the matterv'
"Why, Josiah what makes you"
'.Shut up" yelled the old man as he got
UP and began to uncOrk the vials of his
wrath. ''You may succeed some day in
doing me up but"
You don't think Mr.. Weatherwax that
your wife deliberately tried to"
Think shrieked the old man turning
his battery onto the kind hearted neighbor,
''thinkl yes l do think, and that's mOre'n
some of our neighbors do Haint got brains
'nuff to keep 'em from pokin' their noses
round where they a'int wanted. Nothin'
but curiosity. Oh! La-a-yems how my head
hurts" rrr
"l'll run for DOCTOR" said Johnnie.
doctor! No you don't. 'Spose ! want to
die before l make my will? Go get a
lawyer and some whiskey."
"What for, Josiah?" asked the old lady
calmly.
"What for? Why the whiskey is for the
lawyer to lean on while write my will
'spose you think. declare you don't know
as much as tow-headed girl by moonlight" "
'There JOSIAH" said the old lady,
you've said enough. Now Johnnie you
may go to bed for / know when your
grandther talks in that way he aint hurt to
speak on" In few minutes thereafter
the house was still save the old man who
was snoring like a calliope.
Laingsburg, June 80 1891.