davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Some Figures to Think About.

Last year this country exported 9, oo0,-
600 pounds of butter and we received
IN cents per pound for it and then
had to pay the freight and all other
expenses out of that Denmark sent
200, 000, 900 pounds to the same markets
and was paid 2615 cents perpound for it.
We used 300, 900, 900 pounds of butter for
soap grease in this country because IL
was too poor to be eaten. New York
state alone used up So, 900, 900 worth of
hay in feeding cows to warm barnyards
during the daytime. As much more
good hay was as good as wasted in
feeding dry cows that should have been
making thirty cent butter. The loss of
alternate freezing and tn wing, drying
and soaking of cows in the winter time
to make them hardy I'd strong can
not be estimated. Now it not about
time that this foolishnes of our grand
fathers was stopped aud a at we accept
the new gospel and follow dairying
with common sense?. The new principles
and advanced thoughts in dairying are
to be accepted and practiced by all and
that is what they were studied out for.
The dairyman must dairy it the year
round and stop going into winter
quarters to eat up wha. was made In
the summer.-CoL F. D. Curtis, before
the New York Dairyman's Association.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
"FORTUNE IN A TEA-CUP.'

"Your fortune in tea-cup
A present, or letter,
Or wish; do let me tell it;
Now really you had better!
'ust drink 1t up little more,
And then they will be f1t;-"
But he was very cross and sad,
And would not smile bit.
And certainly he had right
To look both cross and sad,
For her behavior unto him
Had been extremely bad.
So gloonlily he handed her
with no smile Of relenting)
His cup, though he began to hope
Perhaps she is repentingw
She wrinkled up her forehead then
With preternatural gravity,
And answered his abrupt remarks
In tones Of lamb-like suavity:
He hummed little tune meanwhile,
To show he did not care,
And then he thought how beautifully
The light Shone on her hair!
Let's see-you'n go q journey soon,
Your fortune quickly doubles;
think you have already passed
The greatest Of your troubles.
There's somethingyou want very much,
And you will get it soon
She looked up; but he walked away
Humming his little tune,
The empty tea cup in her hand,
She stood there, quite detected;
This icy GOODNESS had not been
At all what she expected!
II wish hadn't leased him so,
He's awfully offended.
Too late value what I've lost;
Now all my peace is ended"
A little later he passed by
She seemed so very mournful,
He quite forgot that he had meant
To look serene and scornfuL
He whispered: I'm to get the thing
want, and that is you;
The tea leaves said So" Then she smiled
We'll. shall l say So tooY'
Violet NJ. King, in Once Week.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

here except my Office boy. That's plain
enough, isn't it?'
Every now and then the "old man"
would absently strike key with his
finger, and then look up and jerk out a
few words
But there are five columns to SET
began the bewildered foreman.
Come earlier in the morning, then.
l don't want anybody around now.
How can man write with those presses
out there making such an everlasting
noise, and you people in the composing
room giggling and making such a
racket? Why don't you have better
discipline out there?"
Mr.. Bernard Bcrgeois had no answer
ready. He was quite nonplussed
Never before in the course of his pro-
fessional career had he received such
an order as this. "Send every body
home!' Was the 'old man" going in
sane? Did he not know that tomorrow
was publication day?
There are five columns he began
again.
Send your five columns to the
deuce" interrupted the other furious
lv. II don't care whether there are
five columns or fifty. so long as every
one of you gets out of here. Send me
my Office boyr'
Now, the Office boy, who, by the
way, was named Cox, but who was
known to his intimate friends as
'Swipesey," was much more pleased
with the orders he had received than
the worthy foreman. He went down
into the lower Office and sat in an easy
chair, with his feet on the desk in front
of him. and watched the other en-
ployes file out with lordly air.
Hope you have a very pleasant
Nime," he said, politely, to the fluffy
haired composition. 1--WE can run this
office alone this afternoon, zoe can. l
write the eddytorials and sets them up.
The old man he's writing important
letters and can't be disturbed. Good
afternoon"
Cox made himself comfortable in the
easiest chair he could find, and amused
himself by looking over pile of ex-
changes on a desk at hand. Presently
this began to bore him. and he began
cummaging about the room. 1t was
seldom that he was in the lower Office
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
The Common Duck.

There is no profit made on the com.
mon puddle duck since the Peki rs have
been introduced, as the common kind
are not only snail, but of slow growth.
To secure the largest returns from
ducks, they must be irr The markets al
. certain period, and as the common
ducks grow too slowly to come in early,
they do not bring high prices. The
Pekins are the favorite market ducks
and begin to come in about the begin
ming of May, the choicest weighing Ave
pounds each. Crossing with Pekin
brakes has not been satisfactory. the
pure breeds giving the best results
Farm and Preside g
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
AGRICULTURAL HINTS.
SETTING STRAWBERRIES.

Two Forms Of Securing self-Rencwsl by
Means Of Runners.
There are two distinct ways of re-
newing strawberry charlottesville
one which is generally preferred and
adopted being simply TRANSPORTING,
and the other some form of self-renew-
al by the agency of runners. An OBJ
lection to the latter is the continued &C.
cupation of the same piece of ground,
the fertility being partly exhausted by
the previous growth. This objection
may be in a great degree remedied by
copious and skillful manuring, and if
the soil has been found by trial to be
especially benefited by some particular
fertilizer, the plant will be improved
by an addition of it to the barn manure.
A mode adopted by a cultivator in Can
ada, and reported to a fruit-growers'
meeting, was found to have some par
ticular advantages. The rows were
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
AN UNPOPULAR CONDUCTOR.

The Patrons of Street Car Line Lay tor
Him and Load Him Up.
On a certain line controlled by the
West End street railroad, there is
conductor who yanl1s his bell.strap just
as we'll, perhaps, as any other. and
rings in the nickels with all the grace
which comes of long experience; but
the fact goes that he is exceedingly I'M
popular with his brother conductors
and the regular passengers on his car.
He owes his fall in the opinion of his
associates to the unpleasant frequency
with which he reports their petty de-
]inquencics, and the lack of esteem in
the hearts of his passengers to his
bearish manners and studied incivility.
A Traveller reporter who was cogniz-
ant Of the above facts happened to board
this mans car the other morning. It
was pretty we'll filed up with business
men, and the man with IN and ink
was amused at the manner taken to
roast the unpopular man. 1t seems
that the morning before he had drawn
further Indignation upon himself by
kicking little newsboy who had
j
Of a passenger The plot developed as
he passed down the car to take fares.
The first man handed him five coppers,
the second followed suit, aud the third
drew the same amount of fractional
currency from his cash pocket.
Coppers fairly rained on him, while
everybody began to wear a broad grin
at the Disguised look of the man in
blue. One man varied the monotony
by handing in a nickel three-ce cent piece
and two old-fashioncd cartwheel cop
pers. The reporter. meanwhile was
posted and followed suit. When the
conductor reached the rear end of tho
car the junk fairly sagged him out of
shape. When it is explained that con-
ductors cannot turn in coppers when
they hand over the fares, the disgust of
this man can be understood. Three
dollars worth of coppcrs, the esti-
mated amount which he received, was
enough to sink him if he had fallen
overheard. boston Traveller.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

Wife, see you are advertising free
excursion, with lunch and brass
band, to your sale of lots at Paradise
Vile.
Husband "a real estate agent)-Yes,
my dear, we'll have a big crowd, too.
81 should like to 60. It will be de-
lightful trip, am sure"
1.-The ride will be pleasant enough,
my dear, but think how you will suffer
from the heat and mosquitoes when you
get there.'-Good News
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
A Natural Mistake.

Hyde-I saw Charlie Fanshawe on
Michigan avenue this afternoon.
Parker-That's impossible, for Char
lie started for Europe yesterday.
Hyde-Well, then it must have been
some dude with dog and cane just
like his.-Chicago Saturday Evening
Herald.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
IrreStStible,

He-Ethelinda, be mine. am young,
well born
She-But, Mr.. Samson, l do not
He refusing to be interruped)-1
would care for you tenderly-
She Observation-Disclosures
He-And l have unlimited credit at
the principal dry goods stores.
She-Oh, Henry! am yours!-Mun-
says Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
An Observation-Disclosures

Jawkins Tin the menagerie) - It's
jolly odd, this wastefulness of nature.
Hogg-What now, Mr.. Crank?
Jawkins-Why, here's the kangaroo
with pocket, and nothing to put in it,
and the girl who's looking at the beast
has her handkerchief, gloves, purse and
umbrella in hand, and no available
pocket-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
HOMEMADE srUBBLE BREAKER.

'like pipe-stems." The breaker is made
of two or three-inch plank, and with
pieces bolted on the top, SO that a
hinge can be attached, it works we'll on
uneven ground, and is easily taken
apart in storing away. Being eighteen
feet long, it works fast and is not hard
for the team. To take it to the field,
unlock the chain at and draw it end
wise. The hinge should be one of those
with an eye and key to take apart cas-.
ily.-American Agriculturist.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

which has become densely filled with
rawberry plants, leaving strip six
inches wide of the old plants, which
will form a narrow matted row, and
filling the shallow burrows with fine
old manure. Another mode of self
planting is represented by Fig: l. and
which will be useful for small beds.
All the runners are cut off but two
Immediately after the gathering of
the crop. These two set each a new
plant. The middle row, after fruiting,
may be cut out. Still another mode we
have used where we have few rare
plants to be removed to another place
IN the same garden is represented by
Fig. 2. Square cavities are made with
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
STUBBLE BREAKER.

Homemade Implement Which Seems to
WorksWel Enough.
The accompanying sketch gives a
good idea of homemade stubble- break
er and leveler to use after sowing grain.
The inventor of it, J. Flomerfelt, Som
erset county, N. j., writes us that it
works best on moving when the
stubble is frozen, as then it breaks it
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Railroad Cooking.

Traveller lin dining car, fast express)
Waiter, these eggs are too soft:
Waiter-S'prised to heah dat, sab.
Traveler-They were taken out of the
hot water too soon.
Waiter-Well, sab, I'll put 'em back
an let 'em boil another mile, sah.-N.
Y. Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
After the Tiff.

He-Well, we won't quarrel about it
any more, but just let it go as it is, eh?
She-Yes. But, George, dear, for the
sake of the future-and a harmonious
future-I think you would better &C
knowledge before we drop it altogether
that you were wrongl Don't you, dear?
Puck.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
A ShOrt-Sighted Man.

She-What do you mean. sir, by
speaking to me in the street? want
you to understand that am a respecta-
BILE married lady.
He-Excuse me, but I'm so short
sighted that at first glance cannot
distinguish a married lady from any
other lady.-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Accommodations.

She Cher first season)-I have been
shut up in boarding-school so long that
feel very awkward and timid in com.
pany. do not know what to do With
my hands. $50.
He'll hold them for you.-N. Y.
Weekly. ~. ! :
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Could Not BE.

The simplest and most elementary
truths may be stated in such way as
to possess something of the charm of
novelty.
"Why," said Mrs. Bronson, as the
clock struck, lit is only one o'clock. I
thought it was two"
mo, num-" said Bridget, ''it's niver
later than one at this tonne of day.
uarper's Bazaar.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Hard Lines.

Briggs-You know that old suit OF
mine? sold it for ten dollars to-day.
Griggs-How nice!
Briggs-Not at all. l had to take
the money and make the first payment
on my tailor's bill.-Clothier and Fur
nisher.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Force Of Habit.

l.. Summer Boarder-Why. Mr.. Wheat
fey. what on earth is that gong doing on
your plow?
M. Wheatley-Waal, ma'am, them
air horses my son Zeke bought from a
city railway comply, and the tarnel
critters won't bulge an inch till they
hears that signal, SO have ter humor
'em.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Easy Work.

"Well, of all the ways of maxim a
livin'," said Bi:lks, II think literature
is the easiest"
THE easiest?" I
Eyes. I've watched the fellers that
do it. ALI a mans got to do is to sit
down and slide his pen over the paper.
Jury.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

"A workman who had drank too
much fell asleep on bench in the tav-
ern. On awakening he asked the land
lord what there was to pay. Five
pints, > was the reply. Impossible;
you must be joking. know the ca
Pacity of my stomach; it can't hold
more than four pints." That's just
it," said the landlord; 1.-THE fifth has
gone into your head!"-L' Uomo Al
legro.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Just as Well.

"As to-day is your birthday, my life,
remarked the sporting husband, TT
go and shoot pheasant for YOU"
'No, no." demonstrated; "a hef
will .atisfy me. They come cheay"
you know."-Fliegende Batter.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

Good Sister lat revival meeting, to
young lady mourner)-Don't you want
Brother Jimpson to pray for you?
Mourner-No; he has prayed for me
time and time again, and I wouldn't
heed his prayer. | won't have him;
that's all.-N. Y. Herald.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

He-Is your father wealthy?
She-Yes.
He-Is he old?
She-Very.
He-Mother dead?
She-Yes.
He-Is your temper good?
She-They say SO.
He-Well, I'll make memorand um
and perhaps may see you again Def ore
the close of the season.-Lifc.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
The Height Of Exclusiveness

Mrs. Hayseed-Talkin' bout airs, the
most airish, exclusive, stuck up thing
ever saw is that Mrs. Hayforlx, on the
next farm.
City Geest-Proud, is she?
Mrs. Hayseed-Haughty as prin-
cess. Why, she's SO stuck up she won't
take summer boarder til July.-Good
News.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Advantages Of foreign Tr,ve,.

He-You saw some old ruins while
you were in Europe, suppose?
Shelves, indeed! Some Of them were
20 old that they were all tumbled down.
-4unasv'a WeelilN. ss- $500, -.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

L uC Ip"o "CEc
set TO ur feet
apart, and when
renewi n G w as
desired, the old
rows were rolled
yer an d not
plowed up, and
the trench thus
form e d W a s
filled with fine
manure, the old
plants send i Dg
t h ir runners
over it and TAX
ing strong hold.
The next season
the old row was
cut out and the
new plants CIV
en- entire posses
sion. Ano t h e r
mode is to plow
t h e grOu n d,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
That Would Fix Them.

Wife-I'm terribly afraid of that band
of gypsies that came into the neighbor-
hood yesterday.
Husband-Well, if any Of them call
here to-day get rid of them the best way
you can.
Wife-But suppose they won't go?
Husband-Oh, well; If the worst
comes to the worst just invite them in
and give them some Of that angel-cake.
Judge.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

:. BERN ARD
= E r G. EO is
was startled.
IIejumped Wis
IDLY, and near
ly dropped a
h a n d full of
type he was
taking from a
ga ley to the
form on the i'm
ottawa
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
A Natural Consequence

Tom Barry-Sorry, old man, but I
learned to-day that her mother objects
to you!
Jack Dashing-Good! From what 1
know of human nature, that will preju
dice both the girl and her father in my
favor I'm lucky dog.-Life.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

1rate Purchaa er-See here! You said
that horse you . old me had been driven
by lady for two years. He ran awav
the first time my wife tried to drive
him.
Dealer-That there boss was driven
by er lady fer two years, just as said,
and no one kin contradict it, nuther.
'Humph! That's very strange. Who
was the LADY,"
Madame Lud0woski."
"Who is she?"
''She's the female cannon ball
thrower ins Fourtent's circus" - Good
News.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Very Affecting.

81 hear Bronson sang Rocked in the
Cradle Of the Deep at the concert"
eyes" .-.--. H. 80
"Did he do it well?''
He did indeed. 1t was so vivid that
five people left the hall overcome with
seasickness. Saturday Evening Her
aid. s...,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Time to Stop Pooling.

DIR. Gruff Ito fashionable patient)-
It's merely the same old ailment, my
dear madam.
Mrs. Style-Oh, no, doctor; l really
am ill now.
DR.. Gruff-H'm! If that is really SO
I'll have to change the whole course of
treatment!-Leslie's Illustrated News
paper.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

Small Boy-You're in love with my
sister. aren't you?
Sappy-How do you know that?
Small Boy-Because you're always
sending her presents, inst like Mr..
Brown, who's going to marry her.
Munsey's Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
The Wrong Measure.

Employment Agent-Those are fine
recommendations that gurl has, mum.
Shall send for her to come and talk
with you?
Mrs. Bronston-Is she tall or short?
Rather tall, mum; but
sis she fat or thin?''
Rather stout, mum; a good, strong
els she stouter than amp
"Oh. yes, mum, a good deal"
''She won't do. She'd split the seams
of every dress l HAVEN. Y. Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Going to Stay In Canada


An inquisitive man on train on the
New York Central going out of New
York was seated next to fashionably-
dressed young man, who looked as if he
might be bank clerk.
Going to Poughkeepsie?" asked the
inquisitive.
YES"
''Going to stay there?"
mo, I'm going on to Albany"
Going to stay in Albany?"
mo, I'm going to Niagara Falls
''Going to stay there?'
mo, I'm going on to Montreal"
The inquisitive man smiled, nodded
his head, as much as to say: Nov
know all about you," and finally added:
'Well, guess you are going to stay
in Canada, amt you?"-Texas Siftings.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10

Mr.. Stalate-So your sister keeps yor
well supplied with pocket money, does
she?
Tommy-Yes,
Stalate-I presume you have to rem
der some little equivalent.
Tommy (yawning)-Oh, yes. I have
to come in and yawn when visitors are
staying too late.-Yankee Blade.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
Very S1mnle.

Tangle-I've struck an idea that will
save millions of dollars to this country
every year.
Brown-Indeed! What is it?
Tangle-You know the last two
inches of cigar have to be thrown
away, because you can't smoke them.
Well, I'm going to take out patent on
a cigar that won't have any last two
inches, because I'll make it just two
inches shorter than usual Simple,
isn't it?-Munsey's Weekly.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
AS SEEN BY UNAcCusroMED EYES.

Pat politely accosting lady with fash
ionable trailing skirt) beg par
don, but hadn't yez betther give yure
suspenders hitch?-Judge.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1891-09-10
A PROVERB ILLUSTRATED.
No Possible Use.

1.-The mouth often utters that which
the head must answer for."-Jury.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1891-10-22
Brodtville.
Oct. 18th

Many Of our folks are attending court,
some are away visiting and others are
busy making up sorghum and doing up
other necessary fall work.
Mrs. Barney Brodt is home from
Clear Lake la.
George Monroe of Mt. Ida seems to
have success selling pinless clothes
line.
John Clark and family is now settled
in their new home in Bloomington. Sue
cess to John where ever he goes.
1t is guaranty reported that John
Gasner was robbed short time ago of
20 dollars, but who the thief was is I'M
certain.
A Ii year old son of Leroy Jacobs
was badly bruised up by wagon run
ming over him.
Mr.. Bidderback of Ohio is now black
smithing in the village of Wyalusing
Oct the 9th. a lovely little lass was
born to Mr. and Mrs Bilderback, and
now the sparks fly faster than ever from
his anvil.
John Gasner had his new house
warmed up by about 40 dancing couples
last week
George Yost opened his large house
and admitted some so couplas last Sat
urday night, to trip along and all JOIN
hands and circle to the left.
Last Tuesday Miss Jessie Blunt invit-
ed in jolly set of youngsters to help
celebrate her birthday.
Mr.. Philander Gee and wife formerly
of this place, now of Ohio are here at
present making an extended visit.
Rev. J. P. Greer, ably assisted by
Stuart the famous colored vocalist is
holding a series of revival meeting here
and it is hoped with marked success.
Free traders are puzzled to account
for the high price of eggs. OF course
they know the Mckinley bill has moth
ing to do with it.
The disease known as the pink eye
has broken out among horses in Bagley.
Master Johnnie Harvill traded his
chances for pony for velocipede.
JIM CROW.