The Penn's Grove record., 1891-01-16
Fun.

FUN.
Get your brcast-pins. An exchange
saws opalesceut glassware sis the rage
for candle light effects"
Advice to a St. Lawrence pilot
When you see a rapid "shoot" 1t on
the spot.-Texas siftings.
We read Of I Kentucky man who
was paralyzed by a mosquito bite. 1t
is a wonder the bite did not paralyze
the mosquito.-Texas siftings.
1t may be true, as stated, that there
is honor among thieves; but it is SO
successfully hidden that it does NOBODY
any good-not even the thieves.
Thompson is practical. When Jones
said to him sympathetically, al fear
Smith is losing his grip" Thompson
said promptly, "W-hy doesn't he buy
g trunk?"
"Wbo are the brilliantly-dresseo
military men on the opposite side Of
the roon?" she asked at the ball.
"Those are some Of our glitterins
gelieralihes," replied her editolsl es-
cort.
Watermelon seeds are found In an
Egyptian tomb that are 5000 years
old. There was no doubt about their
being watermelon seeds, because the
mummy was al doubled up.-Texas
slftings,
al should like TO know" remarked
Jones as he left the COURTROOM, "what
earthly use ;herei IS in sentencing such
fellows to Imprisonment for life.
They make I'll point never to serve
out half their terms"
Alice.-Iveiu s: Seen reading a news
paper discussion On "When women
should marry" Mss Elder. When do
you think a girl should marry?
Miss Elder (eEphatically).-Just as
soon as she has a proposal.-Munsey's
Weekly.
Brown,-Ds Grow looks very poor
", don't he7 lie Las not many years
to live, l fear,
Jones.-He won: live six months,
and you can BET O. it, I've said 80
for the last three years, and 1 know
what I'm talking a5out.-The Epoch.
"Do you know who her grandfather
WASP Have you a~scertained anything
in regard to her pedigree7 Those are
things you ought to know about the
women you are to make your WIFE"
"Oh, hang her grandfatheri"
"My boy, that's Just what they did"
strsnger-"wast is the meaning Of
DIS vast crowd; something unusual
~happening"
Boston man-"I don't know, sir.
I have just arrived On the ground N.Y.
self. 1t may be that a symphony con-
cert is just over, Of it may be that Mr..
Sullivan is drunk again."
The little daughter Of q laboring-
man had been taken to o toy-shop that
she might selec; 8 doll.
"There'l 8 nice one Lucy" said the
mother.
ono; tia too handsomely dressed
for me-. want to be my dolls mann
ma, not It's servant"
Chow are you;' said q young man
effnsively to a young theatrical mana
ger, "You are boxing finely. 1
haven't seen you in such apparent good
health for q long time"
"YesI" said the manager. "IIow
many passes would YOU like to have
for to-nightF7-Merchant Traveller.
First Brooklyn nan ION street cary
You haven't lived in Brooklyn long,
haveyou?
Second Brooklyn man.-No, only q
few weeks. How did you known
First Brooklyn meu.-I noticed that
when you said you lived In Brooklyn
sou blushed.-New York Weakly.
Dir. Bluderhead to fond mother and
rather)-"What remarkable children
yours areI WIsere did they get 50
much beauty and clqverness?"
And Blundarhead can't understand
why the parents Of the remarkable
children are so cool to him. Most
people love to have their children
praised.
Fond wife,-what are you so busy
NJ
Young Ithysician.-I am writing q
to tIae newspapers abusing DR..
Blank, the great scientist,
Fond Tife.-But DR.. Blank has
never done you any harazs and you
agreed with hi. theories.
Young Physieian.-TEae; but itA
against the rule for physicians to sdVer-
Use, and I must get mysese before tho
public somehor.--SewY York Weekly.
THE BACHELOR g PorSTo OF VIEW
Narse-"Oh, ma'1In, III baby's sncSed
the paint OFT tia ne'p TOY his unc!s
gave hlm."
NoLher-''TTOv awrn1li'
Bachelor UMcie-"N'eVer mind
didn't pay vary much for it"
STRUCK oUr.-Hools han(out late te
stranserl - 'Aud phw ats the toims