Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1891-09-30
Mr. and Mrs. boWser.
IT MAKES QUITE A DIFFERENCE WHICH ONE
OF THE TWO Is SICK.

IT MAKES QUITE DIFFERENCE WHICH ONE
OF THE TWO IS SICK.
When MIR. Bowser comes home and Huds
his wife lying down with her head ii ed up,
he is real sorry for her, of course-just as
sorry as any husband could ba. And, like
any other huaband, he stands and surveys
her for moment and then bluntly says:
81 expected it! Finally got flat down,
eh?"
"It's nothing" she family replies.
"Oh! it isu'tl Nothing for wife to flop
down and upset the whole house, Isuppose!
Well, I've been looking for it tho last three
monthe, aud SO I'm not much surprised.
Mrs. Bowser, it's wonder to me that you
or any other woman in New York is out of
her co1fint"
"It's only-only headache, dear"
eyes, only headache; but what do head
aches lead to? If you are not dead wo-
man before Saturday night you may con-
slider yourself lucky. Didn't warn you not
to sit in draft, not to wear thin shoes, not
to eat too much in warm weather? Little
good it does to talk to a womanW
"You can't help ailing occasionally" she
replied, as she got up to wet the bandage
around her head.
"Mrs. Bowser, look at mel' he said, rs
he struck an attitude and held one han d
aloft. "When an ever ailing? When do
you hear me complain? Never! And why
is il? Because, Mrs. Bowser-because I
don't cram my stomach with watermelon,
buttermilk, gumdrops, oustard pie, sweet
cake, ginger ale, and all that! Because I
don't go around with my feet sopping wet!
Because know enongh to eorae in when it
rains Because / exercise little common
sense in taking care of myself ~
"Your dinner is ready"
"And I'm ready for dinner. a healthy,
happy person is always ready for his meals.
You won't try to get up, SUPPOSED
''Not now"
"Well, yen have only yourself to blame.
You may learn in time, but doubts it. I'd
like to find one woman with about two
ounces of horse sense in her head before /
die, but l don't expect to do it. Well, it
can't be helped, l suppose. The Lord
made you that way. and it's no use t;3 ar
que"
Mr.. Bowser cas- his dinner, smokes his
cigsr and sings and whistles as if the slight
est noise didn't go through her achiag head
like bullet. 1t never occurs to him to fan
her. wet the bandage Or ask il she can't
eip a cup of tea. Ii does oecur to him,
however, TO say, about bedtime.
"pm sorry, of course, but then you must
nave moro sense. I'll 60 up TO D5o anu
You can come when you get ready. II you
are going to kick around much, you'd bet
ter sleep in the spare room."
Now and then the tables are turned. Mr..
Bowser comes home to lunch, dragging his
legs after him and looking pale and scared.
whats the mattei?" asked Mrs. Bow
ser. as soon as he steps into the house
'Got sore throat and feel feverish. l
Il think I'm going to be sickP'
She doesn't call ont that it's just as she
expected and declare that no husband in
New York has sense enough eo look out for
his health. She knows he y as out in 3
draft in his shirt sleeves, bus she doesn't
even mention it. On the contrary, she re-
marks:
| Try aud eat little some thing and then
lie down. You'd better gsrgle your throat
and then tie it up"
"Do you-you tkink its anything seri-
ous?" he whispers, as he grows paler.
IL hope not but it's best to be on the safe
side. You are subject to quinsy, you know,
and spinal meningitis begins just this
way"
! II believe I'm going to die" gasps MI