The evening world., 1891-07-18

TAE#fY heard the man
W%%y from Huckleberry
N4&SA Plains thus explain
ing the merits of his
celebrated patent TO n waiting passenger.
Don't want it !" crustily replied the
man. who was reading newspaper
"Mebbe you don't, but IA PVo got n
leetle time TO spare Jis; now, I'd lust rs
lief explain some of the p'ints to you.
In tho first place, every kitchen has or
orter hev towel Elder Spoonor. of our
town, got along for twenty-five years
without one, but he's an exception.
'Taint only now and then man who
likes TO wipe his face on an old coffee
sack "
Are you talking TO me. 6irt" de-
mnnded the man with tho paper,
" Yes, talkin' right TO you. Glad Won
amt deaf. Squnr' Williams, of our town.
who hasn't heard il thunder for the last
twenty seven years, hlluB buys his tattrs
of me, and il takos me about three days
to holler the price into his head. Gould
you GO home and lny your hand on the
kitchen towel? If you've got one Of my
patent Seek No Further Racks, same MS
this sample. you could but Il you haven't
you cnnt' tell whether the towel would be
in the oven. hnngin' over the door, or re-
posn' ON the buttery floor
Didn't tell YOU TINT | didn't wish to
huv :" severely observed the man.
You did, but folks often change their
minds THIS is no nickel-in-the slot or
prIze package affair. but straight goods.
wanted in every house i'll tins country.
Nou first observe this checker board on
the bnck. You kin play fox-and geese as
we'll rs checkers. md ITS warranted 20
keep you home nights. D,n't ndd n cent
To- the cost, while il mny keep yo from
stealin' sheep and goin' to State prison"
SEQ here. old man. said the other
as he got up and looked around, / want
you to 20 on and let me alone or I'll raise
u row."
You Will, eh 2"
You bet ] will !"
Shoe You hain't got bile on your
leg. hev vo? We've got II feller named
Ben johnson in our town who has biles,
and he's 30 informal techy when they come
that we dasn't hardly ring the bell fur
prayer-meetin's. Can't | explain about
this pocket for the fne-comb 7"
No, sir!"
" Nor about snvin' n quarter of yard
of towellin' on evorv one you buy 7"
No. sir. -
'Shoo Your folks must have an
awful time 20 git along with you!"
have given you warning old man"
thrcateningly replied the other.
"Oh. wall, | amt EoIn to git up no
fuss with you. Some folks know good
thing when they SEQ 1t, md some don't.
'Twouldn't do for you to live in Huckle-
berry Plains, though. Not one of the
folks would even borry sour milk or
coiloe-mill of you"
go on"
I'm n-goin II II fellor don't want
this roller tuwel-rnck there's no law 10
compel him to buy. If You will stand IN
your own light can't help it. We've got
II man over at Huckloherry Plains who's
Rllus complainiI' that lie can't git along,
like other folks. Why can't he? Cause
he's SO internally ret and obstinate in his
ways. Deacon Warner offered TO let him
plant nlne acres of turuips ON shcers,
but
The man with the newspaper got up
aud looked around for an officer.
Pm a-goin'." sad the towel-rack
man, " out | was iist waitin TO say that
If you'll come out in the road III down
you, best two in three ut side hold, or
make you present of II raclT!'
The man continued to search the wait
ing-rOom with his ewes.
Shoe How techy :" Baid the towel
rack man. IL wouldn't thought il
from your looks, though ye can't ullus
tell by them. Our postmaster looks like
peaches and cream rs you go into the
door, but the mint YOU tell him thut Jim
White and Aunt Lucinda johnson and
Dave Baker and Lemuel Starr and Hank
Scott and Peter Wayborn il expectin' let
ters, and wants him to look under the
tables and around, he'll holer at ye as if
he was drlvin' oxen"
The man Just then caught sight of an
officer and beckoned to him.
Keeps a-Gittin' more aud more techym
said the towel-rack man us he moved
away. " How do pity his poor wife
and children! Iist another sch case as
that of Bill Wakefield. Bill dasn't tackle
even boy, but he takes it out in
hcktn' the oxen and children md
hkeolin' his wife till she has
swallered more'n pRrer Of pins this last
year. I'm a-goin'. III see We agm IN a
day or two II you're aIouni. Mehbe
you'll be foelin better thou. amt mad
nor nuthm', but il you'll como out in the
road aud knock u chip otF'n my sAoul-
der
But he was gone, The officer went TO
the door to look Tor him, but he WAS ON
the rear platform OF Fourth avenue car
eAp'alnng the merits of his towel-ruck to
the conductor.
NJ OUAp