The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1891-11-20
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Endorsement for a mans character than
for his note.
Says an exchange: "With money
come poor relations" But poor rela-
tons never come with money
There is a law maxim that equity
follows the law, which may be true, but
she doesn't always Overtake 1t.
The leader of the rioters at Monte
video was named DR.. Pantaloon. No
wonder it was such a kneesy job to bag
him.
There is difference between sitting
before the fire and thinking about doing
good, and going out into the cold and
doing it,
When a young man is writing love
letter he should keep constantly before
his mind how it would look in print.
Repentance: II wish hadn't re-
jected him."
"Why?"
Because he didn't seem the least bit
put out when said no."
Visitor: "Ah, what splendid piano
you have. Are you fond of music?'
Weary Householder: II used to be be-
fore that piano came into the house"
Ask for VAN HoUTEN's Cocoa take
no other.
-"She's awful, isn't she?"
Dreadful"
''She flirts with everybody, except
Mr.. Mckee"
Eyes; why doesn't she flirt with him?"
He's to be her future husband, you
know"
-"What makes the policeman take in
so many tramps?" said one of the pro-
fession to another.
Cos it's so easy" was the reply.
They knows we won't run"
-"What is the proper way to conduct
yourself when you are engaged?'
".Just as though you were not"
"And when you are not engaged?'
Just as though you WERE"
Terrible Possibility.-Mother (read-
ing): "a machine has just been invented
that will fling man l500feet in the air."
Pretty Daughter: Horrors! Don't
let papa hear of it,
Altogether too Versatile mo;
never play poker with Skinner. He is
too versatile
"Ehr'
''He seems to be able to turn his hand
to anything he chooses"
Prompt Advice: "What would you
do if you were in my shoes, Jepson?"
"Black EN-" replied .Jepson, cycling
them, critically.
"A Significant Appetite-Mrs. Hicks:
Did your husband have any toast at the
banquet last night?''
Mrs. Dix: ~ guess not; that was all
he would eat at breakfast this morning
3D.
that new actor?'
Critic: bad. Bad as can be-
Editor: what the matter with him?'
Critic: II think he must have studied
elocution."
AT the Ball: 'What do you mean,
sir, by your insOlence?'
'What insolence are you talking
about?'
"Your insolence, sir, in permitting my
daughter to cast loving glances at you
The Breed Deah me- SAID Chappie,
as he donned his sixth costume for the
1&y; 1--WE been working like horse"
- "Ya-as," returned Doody, who is much
brighter than he looks: like clothes
horse
feel it my duty to say a few words in
regard to Ely's Cream Balm, and do so
entirely without solicitation. l have
used it more or less half year, and have
found it to be most admirable. | have
suffered from catarrh of the worst kind
ever since | was a little boy and never
hoped for cure. but Cream Balm seems
to do even that. Many of my acquaint-
ances have used it with excellent results.
Oscar Ostrnm, 45 Warren avenue, Chi
cago, Ill.
-'sYou have omitted one item," said
the departing guest to the landlord.
whats that, asked the landlord
"The bookkeeper said good morning
to me to-day, and you've forgotten to
charge for it,
Aren't you afraid that you are living
too well for your health?' asked the
chicken.
81 amt in it for my health" answered
the turkey between pecks. 81 am out
for the stuff, so to speak"
Jimmy: Pa, l wish could be a pi-
rate and sail the Spanish main and scut-
tie ships.
Mr.. Scrimp: Well, you just take this
scuttle and sail down cellar and pirate
some coal from Smiths bin
-"What lovely morning." he said
st is perfect morning." she replied.
True" he said; II haven't seen any
thing this morning that isn't perfect"
and he looked her straight in the face.
Then she blushed.