Griggs courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., Dak. [N.D.]) 1885-1902, 1891-05-22
Retncm1.lps Visit to n.
Carolina.

Carolina.
Herein that the democrats and repub.
licons in n. G. he'd jlned hans tn bust
up the farmers alliance, 1 imedgitly
dispatched myself tn that important
| state ter straten out matters and things.
Well ! arrived thar in due time, got
off the trane at Stampvil. Tide writ tn
the precedent of Stampvli alliance that
was comm All he was ut the depo ter
meet me, he was rite on hand like wax.
/ presented him my credentials and he
axed me if I had the gripp? l told
him had hadit but was better now.
He scd he gessd ide had and kinder
laffcd. Well I was escorted tn the
tavern and told tn make myself ter
hum til evenin when he would call ;an
escort me tn Music Hall where there
was ter be Il grand rally an was ex-
pectcd tn speak. He then told the
landlord that everything was all rite and
that thar boys would make things even
in the nornin. He then left me tn my
own medertashuns. / walked up ter
the bar and sed ''how.lcr" (thats Cana
gun for how der yer du.) But the land
lord didn't seem ter understand that
language. He said he hadn't got ever
thing but rum and sot on glass and
cr decanter, emegitly introduced those
tn very important members of tho cro-
kerry family til cash other. l then stra.
tened nliself up md proceeded tn intro
duce myself tu the landlord. Says |,
spose you know that don't partake
ardent Ticker as 4 bevage, but us 1 am
about 1000 miles. more or less from
hum and someert trublcd with dispepzy
and not acquainted with the condition
of yer water | concluded ter brace up Il
leetlc an prepare for the worst, Il
braced agin), suppose you no that am
agrate temperance lecturer, and also
the CRATE perlitical luminator of the
northwest; also dable in literohure
OCCASIONALLY; q braced agin), l have he'd
CRATE an varied experience an some
hair-bredth eskapes. waz krucetiGe
wonce for ritin an ole maids eppetaff
afore she waz dcd, that waz narrer
skweze, u purity loud kali, but wimens
jilosy cum ter my relefe, another ole
maid by the name of Miss Panchus Pi-
lut sent her hired man ter take me
down just before kicked enveus tongs
sed she done it tea spite the neighbors
spite the neighbors, but that didn't
make derns DDS ter me just then, q
braced agin). continued ter give
him detailed accounts of my exploits
for sum time; at last 1 drew large
role Of paper from my pocket an pro-
ceeded ter regale his eer with rccita-
ton of one of my ole speeches. Hold
on my friend said the landlord at the
same time unscrcwin and pullin out of
his coat sieve wooden arm-if you will
agree til spare my best arm will make
you n present of this one ter hang on
yer watch chain fur charm. per-
litely declined the offer and requested
to be shown ter my room. had often
been accused of talkin mans arm erf,
but this waz the fus:: wooden arm that
had ever sacumbed to my elerqunce.
My room waz on the ground fore so
didn't feel much elevated when got
there. Billy Shakespur says that rum
sets man on and calls him orr so ter
ispeak, felt as tho he'd ben slightly
checked but waz not subdewed rs the
seekil will show. hadn't ben in my
room many minits bfore marlatter gal
wallsid in with er pichcr NV ice-water,
wall she waz just about the purtiest
creeter ever sot eyes onter. She waz
about the colur of buff cochin pullet,
her wavy ringlit toyed with her yaller
an red apron strings,her eses mite laff
at the ravins wings, her lips were pat
termed artcr Cupids bow, her red and
yaller callicur dress that covered her
shaply bussum riz and fell like the bill
lers on chop sea- as a lilly of the val
ley she wouldn't be success, but as a
yaller panzy she could jest cap ther
climeaxe an not haf try. My pnrty cree
tur sez I, whats your name? Betsy scz
she. Got any father and mother? Not
as noze NV she worbled. Got eny
brothers and sisters sez 1: GolIy boss
that er queer quesun ter AK er niger,
she warbleG agin. riz an struck an
attitude, sez 1, my deer soponefier your
no niger. At this very moment in all
proberbilites quarts of the very bests
cawcashun blud is leepin thru your
vanes. Sez she you is er funny man
boss CESS you's cum from up norf
didn't yer aud she glidee outer the
room like an expecteration. seized
the ice.water an took drink an my
flutterin heart resumed its material
thump.
i Yours troolv,
i RERNENRAP.