Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-01-01
Small Packages.

There is in Isabella county, Mich, man
who claims that he fought with Hannibal
aroinst Rome. At first thought came the
conviction that he was 81. Louslan VINO
had somehow strayed from home, but the
conclusion is dispTOved by the statement
that he is able TO read any language az
s,ght. St. LOuisans do not indulge IN such
fol6es. The man IS a mystery. Chicago
Times.
Gentlemen who are thoroughly posted
on all the points of the genuine ~ SILVER
certificate and have abundant leisure anu l
q GOOD magnifying glass can detect the
counterfeits every time, bat 1t Is little
difficult for thole who cannot afford TO
suend 80 worth of time to ascertain
whether or not they have 81 worth OF pa
philadelphia Inquirer.
The title of the chief of the bureau of
printing for the Worlds Fair will be Pro
moter-General." BY the time the eyposi-
tion is under full Roadway titles VIII be
thicker than blackberries. We Will dis
count the South with our military appel
lations. and great many men VINO never
smelled powder will be Generals 1or the
rest Of their lite. --IldidnGpohs Aeos.
Hunter (to countryman): What kind o.
q dog is the one you have! CountIyman :;
A fox-dog. Fox dog2 He has none OF the
nD1nfE. HOW 90 YOU hiApM ~ -
see. I've tr el him at everything but foxes,
and he was no good at any OF them. 30 II
he was not createdin vain, he must be good
for foxes. "-IebGS STtmgS.
No Vassar GIRL has ever been divorced
from her husband. The fact Is easily eX,,
ulained. Any reasonably agreeable and
pretty girl can get husband, bit 1t takes
an extremely clever woman TO retain him;
That is where the ability of the Vassar girl
tells in her favor.-Phiadelphid Press.
newspaper down in Southern Kansas
reports that the second crop of strawber--
ries has been gathered there this year. and
appears to think the farmer who raised
them was in great luck 10 get them PICKED
in time for Christmas.-RdnsdS Otty Times.
Caller: Your son has wonderful. lite;
rary talent, and think it pity he should
go TO work in a store. Why don't you
make q writer of him2 Hostess: II were
sure his uncle would make him his heir
would Good ke1os.
Miss Oldmaid: Your room is very pretty
Miss Rosebud. but / wish YOU would drop
in and see mino. Itsa p.rfect museum OF
curios. All presents, 700. Miss Rosebud
Birthday prescu. Ne1c York Weekly.
II ;s sugrested that the Indians should be
given the foot bali AID the collegians re-
Guired to do the ghost DANCE act. This
would promote peace and advance intel
lectual training very largely.-S. ia"
Globe.
She: And what have you ever done tc
proye your love TO me? He Done! Why
have done without my lunch every day
for "A week in order to take you 10 the
opera last DISQUALIFICATION.
Customer: Look here, asked you fol
something in gold, and you sold me these
miserable plated studs. Clerk: Well, they
were in gold when you got them.-Cioh'a
and FuITister.
He: The Van Alstynes seem to be very
popular, don't they She: Well, with three
manageable sons and 40 husband-seek
ing daughters, they ought TO be.-The Bos
tOtiar.
PA. what is o lottery?" judging
from the reports Of western real estate
sales am beginning TO think it is place
where lots are sold. "-Bsbdlo Express.
Coburgger: He's clever enough, but
man of misdirected effort. Brown:
should say 80. He wound an eight-daJ
| clock up every night for five years. -Broof
Ign Life.
The young man who saved enough from
Christmas to pay for sleigh-ride deserved
TO score big point in the game OF matri
mony.-- baltimore american.
Frank James is perfectly correct when h
says that the gang never met IN cave. Ii
Missouri they usually met on q railway
train.-Kdasds city Star.
The fact that the Scotch railroaders hav'
got il iato their heads to strike is proc
conclusive that the strike Is no joke
| Philadelphia Times.
Ask any woman what is woman's mos
| interesting age, and she Will come yer,
near telling you how old she is.-Atchiso'
| yLnl.o