Morning journal and courier., 1891-01-31
STRANGE.

Adams-An elevator boy is a strange character, isn't he. Jones-How sos Adams Why. every one that IS up in the world he runs down, and vet he gives lift to all who wish to rise.-Life.
 Mrs Small, ' asked a prospective GUS toner, "what is your charge per week for boardingr' ''Seven dollars, sir ''ls out what" "Prunes s'-Springfeld Graph ic.
 The department clerks were looking in a fur-store window filled with marked-down goods That SS cape there is just like am, said one. Flows that" iquired his
 companion. Reduced to S5."-washing- ton Star.
 'FYou seem to be rather battered ,~ said the signet ring to a solitaire, as they lay side by side in the lSawnbrokers show case. ''l have figured in many engage ments, replied the latter, sadly.-Boston Gazette.
 Fair Shopper-Whai is the difference
 between these two pieces of goods, Clerk One is marked higher than ihe other Yes; but what is the real difference be tween them. just told you-a marked difference.-Buffalo Express Its money, money. money all the timer growled Mir. MyseT. ''Noihing bnt money" I'm glad to hear that, returned Mrs. My ser meekly. ''Id begun to think ii was money al no time. One hundred dollars will do me this morning '-Harper's Bazaar the Rural Gazoo editor. "Why my dear fellows" asked the Rev. MT. Prosey. Be | cause you don't treat me right. You tell all the news in your prayers, and don't leave me anything for the paper. New York Evening Sun
 4 Dangerous an.-Wickles--Well,I I've left old Bouncer. Ticks-Indeeds Wickles Yes, I couldn't work for him any longer found out he WAS an incendiary. Ticks An inoendiary, That's a very grave | charge. Wickles-I know it, but can prove it. Ticks-Hows Wickles-He has | just fired me.-Boston Courier Not WebsieTian -Business man docking over his little sons letter to grandmaD- See here. In referring to the cold you | caught from exposure to draughts in a the ater you spell drAughts d-r-a-f-t-s That | isn't right. Little son-Why, pa. asked | you if drafts spelled the kind of drafts that made cold chills run down your back and you said yes. Business man-Um-I was thinking of sight drafts.-Street & | Smiths Good News.
 Little Bessie had been offended in some | way. She went of into a corner of the | room and turned her back on the company "rm mad she exclaimed. snlkily. Fl | wish didn't have any papa or mamma" "
 That's wrong, dear" said her mother:
 five are the best friends you have. '"
 Well, said Bessie, still sulkily, 'I don't
 mind hsvin' papa. He isn't here much.
 But I'm gettin' awful tired oTthe rest of | you. Chicago Tribune.
 \ Devoted Son-in- -Law-Count dc Yer
 micelli, an Italian nob,eman now in New
 York, is engaged to be married tO Miss
 Maud Snobberly on Fifth avenue One of
 the guests at a recent social gathering at
 the Snobberly mansion asked old Mrs,
 Snobberly-she used to be a servant girl
 how she liked her prospective son-in-law.
 "Me and Mir Snobberly are both tickled to
 death with Count de Vermicelli and the
 way he is stuck on Maud is a sin. You
 can't have any idea of how the Count dotes
 on that girl. Everything in the world that
 he imagines she wants, he makes us buy | for her ''-Texas Siftings.