davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
THE LAST STRAW.
A Case Where the Joke Was Carried Lit
tie Too Far.


tie Too Far.
A rosy-cheeked young Irishman came
sauntering down the street. He was
dressed in his best and was evidently
out for a holiday. Just before he
reached the corner he met three rosy
checked girls.
"Hello, JIM said the three girls, all
together.
Hello. girls!'' replied the young fell
low, cordially. I'm glad to see you.
Mary. How are you, Sarah? You're
looking better, Maggie" And he shook
hands warmly all around.
After they had conversed for some
minutes about the affairs of sundry
aunts and cousins, Maggie, with a sly
wink at her female companions, re-
marked:
"And weren't we just goin' into the
saloon on the corner to have cream?
Won't you come with us, Jim?'
"Well, don't mind replied Jim. in
agood-natured tone, though it's gittin'
a little cold for cream" Jim's rosy
cheeks became slightly roster, probably
at the thought of the ease with which
Maggie had inveigled him into treating.
They went in and Jim ordered cream, -
the members of the party selecting fla
vors to their taste. All went well until
Maggie took a sip of the water that was
served with the cream.
This waters warm" said she, and
then, with another wink at her female
companions, soda would go nice with
cream"
"Yes, let's have soda" said Jim.
waiter, bring soda" He had plainly
made up his mind that now he was in
the tolls he would not falter.
When they had about half finished
their CREAM" but had not yet made
much of an inroad on the soda, Maggie
winked at the other two girls again.
and gave utterance to gleeful giggle
that she was unable to suppress, as she
remarked:
Il always like to eat cake with soda. :"
Yes, let's have cake" said Jim.
Waiter, bring us cake" Jim's face
had now begun to glow with an unusual
ruddiness, but his manner remained as
cheerful as ever. His determination not
to falter still remained unbrol5en.
At last they had finished. Jim paid
the bill, and they emerged from the
store. Jim had promised to go with
them to take part in housewar ming at
the home of some relative, and the
prospect of approaching fun rather
cheered him up and made him feel some
what repaid for the expense to which
had been put. But his good humor and
his stoicism both re ceived fatal blow
at last, when Maggie coyly remarked:
There's a horse-car that runs right
past the door. I'm awfully tired walk
in" His rosy checks grew fiery now,
and the slightest touch of Indignation
spread itself over his features.
An so you're tired walkin', Mag
gie?" he asked.
"Yes," said Maggie, Il am"
C. Then, Maggie" said he, you kin
run.''-Chicago Evening journal.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

by local applications, as they can not reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There is
only one way to cure Deafness. and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an infiamed condition of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachan Tube. Wnen
this tube gets inf1amed you have rumbling
sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is
entirely closed Deafness is the result, and
unless the inflammation can bo taken out
and this tube restored to its normal condi-
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh
which is nothing but an inf1amed condition
of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by Catarrhl that
we cannot cure by taking Halls Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, free.
F. j. CHENEY q Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
True Synpatby,

When one is afflicted with any form Of
blood disease, he certainly appreciates true
sympathy. 1t should be remembered, how
ever, that true sympathy does not consist
ir saying, ~ am sorry for you," but the
sympathy must be shown in material way
Either get or recommend a remedy that
will cure. This is true sympathy. When
the fair skin is disfigured by blOtches and
the complexion blemished by pimples, when
unyieiding sores, boils and carbuncles
break out on the person, when the blood
impurities impair the digestive func-
tions, when the urinary organs show signs
of decay, when the lungs grow weak and
the whole system feels achy and feeble,
when the appetite fails, when life seems a
burden and existence painful, then will it
be true sympathy to recommend to the suf-
ferer q use of DR.. John Bulls Sarsaparilla,
for just so sure as daylight follows dark
ness, will this remedy rid him of his aff1ic-
tions and restore him to sound, robust en-
ioyable health.-Manchester News.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Meant What He Said

MINNEAPoLIs, Mimi, Jan. 2.-Victor
Heath and Harry Merick. employees of
the Adamson loan agency, were shot BY
NJ 2. Lapping, a carpenter, whose fur
niture mortgage had been foreclosed
through the agency. He had threat
ened to kill every one working in
Adamson's office if the foreclosure took
place, but was not supposed TO be in
earnest until he suddenly appeared in
the Office and began firing without a
word of warning. Heath was struck in
the side and Merck received a ball in
the jaw. Neither wound will prove
fatal. Lapping escaped
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
PINE RIDGE.
General Miles Assumes Command-Burial
of the Victims of the Late Bloody En-


General Miles Assumes Command-Burial
of the Victims of the Late Bloody En-
counter.
OMAHA. Neb., Jan. "A special to
the Bee from Pine Ridge agency says:
General Miles has assumed command
of the forces here, relieving General
Brooke, who started yesterday morn
ing into the field with the Second in
fantry and Ninth cavalry, going by way
of Oelrich's to point some fifteen miles
. north of here, where General Carr is
now supposed to be.
Zone hundred and thirty-five Indians
of Two Strikes band came in yesterday
and Joined American Horses camp.
They reported to Captain Ernest and
he issued them rations.
Reports sent out that General Brooke
had been relieved by General Miles are
untrue. General Brooke will remain
in command. Reports of a massacre,
rumored at Denver and Salt Lake, are
also untrue.
Yesterday amid as wild, binding
and bitter wintry storm as ever swept
this bleak and barren country were laid
to their last rest thirty of the brave
boys who fell face to the foe in the en-
counter at Wounded Knee. 1t was 2
o'clock before the funeral cortege, with
General Forsythe and Major Whiteside
at its head, and composed of fifteen
wagons bearing the rudely coff1ned
dead, followed by an escort of COM
panies A, K, b, l, d and E of the noble
but unfortunate Seventh cavalry, to-
gether with an assisting squad from the
Second cavalry, wound away from the
camp up to the little cemetery situated
at the crest of the hill northwest
of the agency. The surviving members
of the fatcd company K looked lone
some enough with their fearfully
thinned ranks. The vacancy so strik-
ing in contrast to the rest of the column
caused the tears to start in the eyes of
many comrade for the comrades lost.
The graves were in rows of six close to-
gether in the southwest corner of the
cemetery and overlooking the camp.
After the reading of the burial services
by Rev. Mr.. Cook, the Episcopal clergy
man here, aided by his assistant,
the bodies were lowered into the
graves. Owing to the immensely critical
condition of the surroundings with
hordes of the enemy flocking about the
agency threatening an attack, the usual
salute of guns was omitted, while soft
notes from the bugle and the wall of
the storm whispered the last goodbye
''The remains of Captain Wallace will
be sent to Fort Riley, Kan, for inter
ment Those Of Captain Mills, who was
found dead in his tent from rheumatism
of the heart, from which he has been a
sufferer for long time, were sent to
Omaha
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Death of General simmer.

JACKSONVILLE. Fla, Jan. 2.-General
F. L. Spinner, ex-Treasurer of the
United States, died at $50 last evening.
Francis Elias Spinner was born in
German Flats. n. Y, January 81, 1902.
He was carefully educated and learned
the saddlery trade. He was active in
militia organization and in 1854 had
reached the grade of Major-General.
He was president of a bank at Mohawk
for many years, entering Congress as
an Anti-Slavery Democrat in 1854. He
was an active Republican from the for,
nation OF the party. When the Lin
coin administration was organized Sec
-etary Salmon p. Chase selected him as
Treasurer, which post he filed l. der
successive Presidents, from March IS,
1861. 20 June so. 1875.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Sensitive Sclavs.

LONDON. Jan. 3.-Mr. Froude, in a
letter on the subject of the persecution
of the Jews in Russia, says: This
proud. sensitive Government resents
foreign interference with its internal
affairs. fear that the action that has
been taken by the English people is
more likely to injure than to help the
object of our sympathy" The Chron-
icle's Vienna correspondent says that
reports have been received from Russia
that severe anti-Semitic measures are
being enforced: that hundreds of Jewish
shops are being closed daily, and that
thousands of families are being ex-
PEELED from different villages.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
ALLIANCE BILLS.
Some of the Measures Favored BY the Alli-
ance That VIII Be Brought Before the
Kansas Legislature.

Some of the Measures Favored BY the Alli-
ance That VIII BE Brought Before the
Kansas Legislature.
TOPEKA. Kan, Jan. 2.-More i'm
portant legislation will be submitted to
the Kansas Legislature this month than
ever before in any one session in the
history of the State, and it will be of
character that will command the widest
attention. All bills originating with
the Alliance are to be thoroughly dis
cussed in that organization and will
have its approval before being intro
duced
A Legislative committee appointed by
the State Alliance has been at work for
several weeks drafting laws, which it
has submitted to the sub-Alliances of
the State for suggestions and amend
ments. Sixteen of these have been
acted upon and have the general in
dorsement of the sub-Alliances and
will be introduced with the un-
derstanding that they are to have
the united support of the Alliance
Representatives They are for an ex-
tension of the stay law for period of
two years: redemption law giving the
mortgagor three years in which to re-
deem land not exceeding 800 acres sold
under foreclosure; revision of the chat
tel mortgage law; law requiring the
mortgage to pay his proportionate part
OF taxes; reduction of the rate of in
teTest to per cent. straight with pen
atty for forfeiture of principal and in
terest for its violation: revision of as
sessTnent and taxation laws; a reduc-
ton of the salaries of public Of
ficers: a reduction of State print
er's expenses: school text books to
be published by the State and furnished
to the people at cost; revision of court
officers fee bills; adoption of the Aus
tralian system of voting and the Craw-
ford County system of primaries: law
requiring Railroad Commissioners TO be
elected by the people: law prohibiting
alien ownership OF land: law requir-
ing land sold under foreclosure to bring
the amount of Judgment and costs; a
law suppressing the Pinkerton detective
or similar organizations in the State:
such reduction of railroad tariffs as
will yield an annual income not exceed
ing per cent. on the actual invest
mont
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Freight Rates Advanced.

CHICAGO, Jan 2.-Advanced freight
rates viii go into effect to-day all along
the line. The rate of packing house
products from the Missouri river to
Chicago will 60 up from IS to % cents
per 100 pounds and the rate on hogs
will be established on the same
basis. Grain rates from St Paul and
Minneapolis to Chicago will advance
from "a to 1885 cents and commodity
rates in ali directions will be advanced.
The new merchandise tariff between
Chicago and the Northwest will also be-
come effective and the recent scale be-
tween Chicago and the Missouri river is
already in force.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
CANADIAN NORTHWEST NOTES.

An important feature in immigration
into Manitoba during 1890 was the in
flux of settlers from Dakota. A number
of these were Canadians who had be-
come discouraged by a succession of
poor crops and decided to return to their
own country. Settlers from Dakota
drive across the international boundary
into the Canadian Northwest, all along
the frontier, being anxious to share in
the prosperity of what appears to be a
marvelously productive country.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

KANSAS CITY, Mo-, Jan. 3.-Father
William Francis Hanley, formerly as
sistant pastor at the Cathedral, in this
city, died at four o'clock yesterday
morning at Milan, No, of pneumonia,
death being hastened by congestion of
the brain
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

You've tried DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription have
you and you're disappointed.
The results are not lnsnaeaa-
ate.
And did you expect the dis
ease of years to disappear in
a a0cek? i? Put a pinch of time
in every dose. You would
not call the milk poor because
the cream doesn't rise in an
hour? If there's no water in
it the cream is sure to rise.
If there's a possible cure, DR..
Pierce's Favorite Prescription
is sure to effect it, if given a
fair trial.
You get your one dollar it
costs back again if it don't
Deneflt or cure you.
We wish we could give you
the makers confidence. They
show it by giving the money
back again, in all cases not
benefited, and it'd surprise you
to know how few dollars are
needed to keep up the refund.
Mild, gentle, soothing and
healing is DR.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Cures the worst
cases 5ernaanentLy. No ex-
perimenting. It's "Old Re-
liable" Twenty-Five years of
success. Of druggists.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Confirmed.

The favorable impression produced on
the first appearance of the agreeable liquid
fruit remedy Syrup Of Figs few years ago
has been more than confirmed by the pleas
ant experience of all who have used it, and
the success Of the proprietors and manu-
facturers the California Fig Syrup Com
pany.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

THOSE of you who are weary and heavy
adened with sickness and care, weighed
down with the infirmities that beset the
human system, can find the one thing nee
essary to restore you TO bright buoyant
health, in Sherman's Prickly Ash Bitters.
1t invigorates and strengthens the debili-
tated organs, aids digestion, and dIspels the
clouds arising from diseased liver.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

Of the back and shoulders announces the
approach of chills and fever. You go to
bed, if lucky enough to sleep, you awake in
a furnace, os fancy so. Fierce is the heat
that consumes you. Then comes profuse
sweating. This over you resemble limp,
damp rag. After the first paroxysm, pre-
vent another with Hostetter's Stomach Bit
tiers, which knocks out malaria, bilious
ness, constipation and kidney complaints.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

IT is cruel TO neglect symptoms of worms
in a child. Many cases of epileptic fits can
be traced to this source. You do your duty
when you give it DR.. Bulls Worm Destroy
ers. II will save the child
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Wind in Texas,

ABILENE, Tex, Jan. S.-A terrific
wind last night did great damage to
buildings and other property. The roof
and one end of the Episcopal Church
were blown away, number of houses
were unroofed and others were blown
off their foundations. No loss of life.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

WHY don't you try Carter's Little Liver
Pills! They are a positive cure for sick
headache, and all the ills produced by dis,
ordered liver. Only one pill dose.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

THINK it a pity IL any one who suffers
from q blood disease does not know that
DR.. Bulls Sarsaparilla will make them
sound and well. 1t cured me after | thought
my case incurable.-R r. l.. Thomas, Norfolk,
Virginia.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

MEDIoCRITY alipdys copies superiority. Dob
bins Electric Soap, first made in 1865, has
been initiated more than any soap made.
Ask your grocer for Dnbbtns' Electric Soap,
all other Electrics, Electricity, Magnetics,
etc are limitations.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

which time i was at
tended by the best ply
sicians / could find, and
tried numbers Of proprie.
tary medicines without
any beneficial results. l
continued to grow worse
all this time, until my
whole system was de-
stroyed by the vile dis
ease, my tongue and
throat havinggreat hole:
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

READ carefully what is said in next week s
issue of this paper by J. G. Shipley. of Mus
catine. Iowa, about utShallenberger's Antidote
for Malaria. If you are sufferer it may be
of interest to YOU.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

A COUGH, COLD, OR SORE THROAT should
not be neglected. BROwS's BRONCHIAL
TRocHEs are a simple remedy, and give
prompt relief % cts box.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

NOWADAYS bird on the bonnet Is worth
a dozen in the bush-Baltimoree American
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

THE cake-baker never gives a soft snap
away-Scranton Truth
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

THE Grip of Pneumonia may be warded off
with Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

NEVER was there a wife so near sighted
that she could not discover long hair on
her husbands sshoulder.-Boston Traveller
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

"HoLY smoker' exclaimed a fireman,
when he saw the church burning.-Boston
Democrat
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

Tue debt Of nature is one that man IL
dunned to death for before he settles.-
Binghamton Leader
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

PAIS in the Side nearly always comes from
Carter's Little Liver Pills Don't forget this
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
An lev Invasion

No MATTER how deaf man may be else
where be can always have a bearing In
court--W ashington Hatchet
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

The difference between repartee and i'm.
pudence is the size of the man who says IL
-Elmira Gazette
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

IT is false setto when a cracked tenor
tries to strike the high C.-N. o. Picayune.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

A POPULAR air with the Iadies-"Sweet
buy and buy."-Ram's Horn.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Deafness Can't Re Cured

PRoFASE history has pages added to it at
the putting up of every stove.-Hutchinso
NnWS
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

ELECTRICIANS do not do q cash business
All their batteries are charged
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

The issue of 5000 Treasury notes is
called the edition de luxe.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

BEST, easiest to use and cheapest. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. Csc.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09
Nothing Else Will Do 1t.
We have volumes of evidence to prove that S. S. S.
is the only permanent cure for contagious
Blood Taint.

/ suffered for five years with the
worst form Of blood poison, during
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

How to get ahead Of your own shadow
face the light-Puck
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

was enJlrely cureu,anO
to this great medicine
do ! attribute my re-
covery. This was over
two years ago, and I
have had no return or
any effects of the dis
ease since, and my
skin is to-day as smooth
as anybody's.
Sewers, Covington, o.
The Iola register., 1891-01-09

I then commenced taking Swift's
Specific (SS. s., and in few months 1
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-02-05
PATROL LIMITS EXTENSIONS.
What Parts Of the City Will Be At
fected by Them.

1t is now said that the Hennepin dele
cation has practically decided to extend
the patrol limits. All are in favor of
the extension wherever the property
owners desire it, except Representatives
Stockwell and Cole and Senator John
Day Smith. The present patrol limits
may be summarized as follows:
On the East side the strip of territory
between Four-and-a-half street north
east and the river, running from the
north city limits to Second avenue
southeast, with a projection into the
Second and Ninth wards bounded by
Second avenue southeast, Central ave-
nue. and Spring street. This takes in
nearly the entire First ward. On NicOl-
let island Bridge streets the only street
on which saloons may run. On the
West side the river strip is be-
tween Fourth street and the river,
running from Twenty-frst avenue north
to Nineteenth avenue south. Between
Twelfth and Fourteenth avenues ncrth
there is projection running to Lyn-
dale avenue. Thence the limits runs
on Third street to First avenue north.
Here there is another projection to
Sixth street north, and thence to First
auenue south, So as to take in Hennepin
and Nicollet. In South town another
projection is bounded by the Milwaukee
tracks, Franklin avenue and Nine
teenth avenue south. There are two
isolated spots in the limits. One just
north of the Milwaukee shops is bound.
ed by Twenty third avenues Twenty
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-02-05
PERSONAL AND SOCIAL.

A. A. Holmes has gone to Colorado for his
health.
w. ]. Moulton is back from three months
EOjourn in Florida.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles H. Russell have re-
turned from the East.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. II. Baily and family left
yesterday for California, to be absent until
April
Revs. It. Fl. Dahl, Of Stoughton. and G.
Rasmussen, of Madison, are the guesCs of
Rev. W. Gjertsen.
Lester Franklin and Lillian D'Alve, of
Hanley's wild Goose Chase" company, were
married at the Hotel Warwick Wednesday in
the presence of a number of professional
friends.
Prof C. c. Cu1tiss and wife will entertain
the Oswego Alumni tomorrow evening at
their home, 171S Nicollet avenue. The re-
ceptiCn is given in honor of DR.. NJ V. Lee,
and an invitation is extended 10 all OsWego
alumni.
The first annual ball of the Minneapolis
police department occurs tomorrow night at
the West hotel, and will be attended by many
leading citizens. besides members of the force
and city officials generally. II bids fair to be
great success.
Benjamin II. Durham, of the city engi-
neers Office, and Miss Button were yesterday
afternoon united in marriage at the resi-
dence of the brides parents, 61l2 Western
avenue. A reception was given in the even
Ing. Mr.. ana MIS-. Durnnam Will reSlQe al
1901 Park avenue.
The following party Of Minneapolis ladies
is visiting friends in Duluth: Mrs. l.. P.
Hubbard. Mrs. G. a. Croker, Mrs. o. M. Lar
away, Mrs. G. W. Caldwell, Mrs H. H. Brack-
ett Mrs Nelson Williams Mrs. D. M. Good
win, Mrs. II. c. Henry and daughter, Mrs. G.
S. Jelley, Miss Lizzie Brackett Miss Hub
bard.
Jacob A. Werner, formerly foreman of the
Tribune composing ROOM but latteriy with
the Oregonian, of Portland, has been visiting
friends in The city for O few days, prior to his
departure for Memphis where he is to take
charge of the mechanical department of the
daily paper of which e. S. Doolittle is bust
ness manager.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-02-05
A KNOTTY PROBLEM.
The Riparian Rights of the Boom
Companies.


III. 2. Hurley, who owns tract of
land near Eleventh avenue northeast,
fronting Old the river, claims that by
reason of the bOoms of the lumber firm
of Shaw & Elliott in front of his land he
is prevented from the free use of, or ac-
cess to, the river, which he claims is
public way. The Mississippi and Rum
River Boom company is the real de-
PENDANT in the suit, which is now on
trial before Judge Smith. Just what
the plaintiff wants with the river he
does not say. but claims that he owns
the width of his lot to the middle OF the
channel. Should he prove successful
other owners could bring suits OF the
same character hence the action is of
more than usual ipterest.
On the other hand, the boom COM
pany, according to It's charter. owns and
has exclusive control OF the Mississippi
river from st. Anthony falls. Several
parties have had doubts Oh this point.
and have carried their cases from one
court to another, until the supreme
court of the United States was reached,
and have discovered to their sorrow
that the river is not river, but pri-
vate rivulet belonging to the boom
company. 1t is probably the only in
stance of the kind in which navigable
river has been closed to commerce and
public privileges and made the prop
erty OF a private corporation. This is
but one of the many acts that a sleepy
and almost assinine legislature of Re-
publican prociivitieS has left for the
courts to get out of the tangle as best
they may.