The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1891-12-17

THE EDITOR OF THAT FAMOUS PAPER
HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.

He Narrowly Escapes Death Hut Gets
Even on n Delinquent subscriber-.As
Mayor lie VIII Boom the Town. Like
wise the Kicker" at Legal Rates.
Poor SHOOTING. AS we were coming
across the sand lots the other evening,
after spending couple of very agree.
able hours at the adobe residence of the
Widow Jackson, some would be assassin
who was in hiding fired six bullets at us
from revolver. We think it was Tom
Bigelow. We think so because Tom has
shot at everybody in this town and never
hit any one. He didn't hit us, Being
armed only with a bowie knife, we lit
out as soon as the shooting begun, and
the last bullet went 10 feet above our
head.
We did think of hunting Tom up yes.
terday and splitting his ear with bullet
as great moral lesson, but on second
thought we concluded not to waste the
time. He'll keep on blazing away
around this town until somebody gets
vexed at the noise and then he'll sud-
denly 90 hence. We don't want his
funeral expenses on our hands.
HE'S A SUBSCRIBER. Last week, as
noticed by our contemporary in double
loaded article with three scare heads on
it, Jim Renshaw, who owns the cactus
ranch out on the Tucson road, refused to
take his copy of the Kicker out of the
postofice, Jim not only owed us $3.50
on subscription, but refused his paper TO
hurt our feelings. He's been sore on lis
ever since we refused to lend him our
white shirt-the only one in town-to go
on drunk in.
We want to show an accommodating
spirit toward all, and we have the name
of being a good fellow, but we want to
say right here and now that we belive q
common wool shirts plenty good enough
for any man in this town to get drunk in.
If it isn't he'd better stay sober.
When we saw Jim's little game we
mounted our mule and rode over to in.
terview him. He was expecting us. One
bullet went through our hat and another
raked our mule, but after that Jim lay
down and we dug the bullet out of his
shoulder and helped him into his dugout
He not only paid us all all arrears in spot
cash, but dollar on advance subscrip.
ton, and as soon as able to move about
he will personally canvass for subscrib~
ers.
WE SHALL GET THERE.-Last Friday
evening we were nominated for mayor
on the Democratic ticket by reclamation,
and this is equivalent to an election. We
don't deny that we sought the nomina-
ton. We have had our eye on it for a
year past. We shall also do our level
best to snow our opponent under. We
have been moved to this course by a de-
sire to see the town we'll governed and
because we believe the mayor should b.
the representative man of the town. We
are that man. There's no use in filling
and backing and talking about modesty
and self conceit and all that. We lead
this town. We know more than any II
men in it rolled together We shall make
the best mayor the town has ever had
and we shall see that all the city printing
is given to the Kicker at legal rates.
DowNED AGAN.-When the new ad
ministration came in we wanted to be
postmaster. We were eminently fitted
for the place. Instead of giving it to us
Mr.. Wanamaker appointed creature
who goes by the name Of Hank Scott. A
more unfit man could not have beer
found in Arizona Hank knew how we
felt, and he set out to make it pleasant
for us. Inside of two weeks he knitted
us in the leg and we shot him in thu
shoulder. Since then Hank and us have
had a shooting bee at least once month
and on two occasions we left him TO
dead. He's as slow on the shoot as he il
in sorting the mail.
Saturday afternoon we entered tn
postoffice with the complaints of 81 sub
scribers, who had failed to get las
weeks paper Hank had no doubt takel
them home to put under carpet, whicl
his extravagant wife has lately got iron
Denver Hank was watching for IL
with his head at the general deliver,
window, and we have the testimony o
half dozen gentlemen that he bega
shooting first. We wanted to argue, bu
he kept pulling trigger and knocking til
buttons off our new fall suit, and W
finally had to wing him in self defense
He isn't badly hurt and will be as goo
as new month hence.
While we did banker to be postmaster
and while we do honestly believe thu
Hank Scott doesn't know enough {
string dried apples, we don't like thes
incidents. They detract from man
dignity and'help give our town har
name. We hope Hank will change h
; tactics after he gets around again. TIL
is the third or fourth time we've had t
pump lead into him, and we don't like
!, do it, 1t gives outsiders the idea that W
: are street brawler instead of a quie
m m peaceful editor, with the best interests
L the country at heart.-New York WorlC
p OF Great Importance.