The morning news., 1891-10-11

| got her on that thing, telling her it was a
weighing machine. and TO her horror she
registered 3S years. Now, this sort of
thing is goiug to bring trouble in the fam
| lily, you know. When a man thinks he has
been kissing &c it's rather a come-down for
him to know that he has been deluded. and
that the darling of his heart is really SS.
That's where he is a gentleman donkey.
ALL WOMEN CAN FOOL MEN.
| He ought TO credit woman for her cley-
erness and give her three or four extra
kisses because she could fool him, and say
| Him with capital Ii and the other two let
| te the next size. There has never been a
woman yet who couldn't fool a mau. He
may have written the declaration OF indeN
pendenca; he may have made the Mckinley
bill; he may be able to tell them whether
things are all wool or not; be may be suffl-
| GENTLY nervous to climb over ten women
while he goes out to get drink; but a small
innocent, ignorant. looking little girl can
prove to him that black is lovely shade OF
white, and that, though some people may
| fiatter him and tell him he is great man.
she don't say it in SO many words, because
she knows it so thoroughly.
UNDER A PRETTY BONNET
The bonnets of the season are excessively
small as far as their size goes, and expires
| sively large as Tar as the bill goes. Girls
| over % are, with coquetry that is charms
ing, assuming the small bonnets favored in
| England, for it gives them an oppo tunity to
say: well, you know, I'm beginning to get
quite old now, and don't want people to
say that rm dressing too youngr When
pair of bright eyes look
straight up into masculine
face, and the complexion. which is as
| clear as cream, is visible, and the man won,
ders If the girl ls really in earnest or If she
has any idea how absolutely sweet and
young she does look. This is one of the
charms Of the art of dressing The woman
who is not afraid to dress IA little oder THAI
she is, Is the women who is going to look
young for all time. Remember thas | do
not mean the girl who dresses like a dowdy.
hut | mean the one who assumes he bonnet
that is a tiny bit ma;ronly.
MANS IDEA OF woMAN's WEAR
By the by, don't you think that man
in general is extremely careful about what
he thinks women oIgh5 TO wears Do we
go careering around 1scting to his st OK
ings, or asking whether he wears garters or
nots 10 we bother the lives out Of our.
selves by thinking whether his trousers had
better bs suspended from his hips or his
shoulderss Or do we care whether the ugiy
things he wears under his trousers are made
of wool or cast-iron? Certainly not Well,
he goes to work and will lecture for two
hours on the evil of the corset, knowing
nothing at all about it.
WHEN BUsTLEs WERE WORN
he would enter the family pulpit, usually
in an extremely comfortable arm-chair,
| and dilate on the folly of the hustle, on the
| ugliness of the hustle, and the general sin
| fulness of the bu5tle Now, that the hustle
| is gone, he is pitching into people for wear
ing skirts that drag woman down. He
| needn't he so troubled about it, Women
are not going to be dragged down unless
they want to.S They generally have a
funny little way of their own Of getting
what they u ant, and whel they want it,
| but pettic1atsl Just get a man talking
about petticoats from his standpoint, and
| be Will argue for two hours, and then whea
| you qnietly say to him; do YOU think
| trousers should take their placer he rushes
| out OF The roo4l, and SAYS the more girls 20
| to college the less they know. As Tor pa W.
| der or rouge and bangs, WE'LL he regards
them both rs inventions Of the evil one.
MAN NOT so BAD AFTER ALL.
Now, what does man want woman Ia
| have! He don't want her to have petti
c)ats; he don't want her to have corsets: he
| don't want her to have bustles; he don't
want her 20 go without bu,tles; he don't
want her TO have false hair bangs, or roage,
| ana Yeb no wouldn't give up one OF his
| rights to her 10 save her soul.
He nearly upss1 the Chilean question by
| objecting to lovely woman wearing fourth.
hand scarfs, aud it's only because she would
| dD it, that be has allowed her-he puts il
that way-to wear pique waistcoaL e.
accompany her new cloth jacket Nan is
an animal who is never thoroughly under
| stood. He can be fattered into anything,
and yet one word to the wrong and the
game is lost
de prefers to govern your woman friends
and Is bitterly opposed 70 Miss Blank. uatil
he mas heard she las said SOM thing plea
sant about ssim. and thea he wonders why
yon don't have her oftener to dinner.
Ho Is surprised that women spend 30 much
money on dress, and ye, he deeliues t.
| snow the bill for last springs overcoat.
he thinks that womans place is a,
| no c. and while he emphasizes this, he
! doesn't apply it TO man.
He thinks man was made first, because
| he would then be able to sat an example e.
| man, and he did ard sae hal to walk
out of paradise, aud her only consola ion was,
that she could say: ~ tod YOU so.n After
! all, men are not so very bad, that is to say
| they are not as bad as v uea.
| Al least, that's the opinion Of BAB