The Sunday herald and weekly national intelligencer., 1891-04-26
A STILL SMALL VOICE
THAT BROKE THE SILENCE OF THE
NIGHTIN THE BOARDING-HOUSE
And Involved the Man Who Answered 1t
in Grave Physical and COnjugal
Tribulations-A Tale of An Innocent
Maiden.

punch holes on a census indexing machine.
Even the hearts of the old bachelor boarders
palpitated a little faster that morning when
she sailed into the dining-room with the
independence of the hustling West In spite
of the few incongruites in her dress, which
failed to reach the Worth standard of taste,
and an awkward consciousness that her entire
had attracted general attention from the oat
meal and butter-cakes, there was no denying
the fact that she was very pretty, with fine
figure developed and the bearing of a queen
AS the landlady gave the usual introduction
the blonde-haired representative of the Treas
ury Department assumed his most bewitching
smile, the gray-haired veteran of the War
Department assumed his most soldierly air,
while the young scion of the State Department
threw off the tremendous reserve with which
he usually treated the poor mortals who assisted
him in turning the wheels of Government and
conversed eloquently in French and German,
prudently barring any remarks in Italian. In
fact, since the New Orleans incident he has
even abstained from eating macaroni, though
inordinately fond of that delicacy. AS luck
would have it, she was seated neXtsto me, and,
after overcoming the shyness natural to ma
tives of the modest State from whence she
came, /, much to the envy of my fellowboard-
ers, succeeded in startingup quite an animated
conversation, which caused Treasury to gnaw
his blonde mustache, War to relate sundry
hand-to-hand encounters of his at Antietam
and Shiloh and to shift into full view his G. A.
r. button, while State was thrown into such
amazement at the success of ''that obscure
newspaper fellow" that he inadvertently re-
quested the colored girl ''to accept the assur-
ance of his highest consideration" !" and-and--
(seeing his break )-''bring him another plate
of cakes" An advantage thus gained was, of
course, to be followed up, and consequently
offered my escort to the Inter-Ocean building,
which, much to my satisfaction and the dis
gust of the rest was accepted.
1t is necessary here to state that in our
boarding house there resided couple who
had been married many years. He was good
natured, harmless fellow, who assisted the
Government in the post Office, with never a
thought above his work, his cigar, his news
paper, and his wife. He was an unattractive,
commonplace man with a penchant for
invention His wife was one of those curiosi-
ties whom we SO often meet, good-natured,
middle-aged lady, but with an insane idea that
other women were always fishing for her hus-
band. Consequently she kept jealous watch
upon him, although if girl had smiled at the
poor fellow he would probably have run. SO
when our Indiana beauty came down and was
introduced that morning Mrs. Post Office
Immediately bridled up, and L surmised when
Mr.. P. o. blandly smiled an acknowledgement
to the introduction that there was trouble
ahead. 1t was Saturday, and that night, as |
had an engagement, | was obliged to leave
Miss Indiana to the departmental trio and
went down town. Let me digress little
more by showing the location of our rooms.
Miss Indiana had the hall bedroom on the
third floor front, Mr. and Mrs. p. o. occupied
the large room on the same floor front, Treas
urer and War roomed together in the large
room back, had the hall bedroom opposite
Indiana's, while State, with the true spirit of
aristocracy, occupied spacious room on the
second floor. In order to make more space for
us unfortunates whose means only permitted
us to rent hall-rooms, our landlady had con-
siderately furnished us with wardrobe folding
beds, those pace-economiZing devices which
stand both upright in the daytime and let
down into comfortable couch at night.
got home about 12 o'clock and retired. | was
almost asleep, when heard a peculiar noise
as of moving furniture in Miss Indiana's
room. | should have thought nothing of it
had / not heard her voice moment later call
ing in an almost smothered tone the name of
Mr.. Post Office could hardly believe my
ears Was it possible that the jealousy of
Mrs. p. o. was well founded? And was her
yigilant watch for the backsliding of the dig
niied inventor about to be rewarded /? / deter
mined to be convinced. l would not shake
my faith in frail humanity by jumping at
conclusion / would wait, listen, watch de-
velopments. Consequently / softly arose,
and, opening my door, waited.
Again, with pang am unwilling to call
envy, for it seemed more like regret, heard
Miss Indiana in cautious tone calling the
name of Mr.. Post Office Then, sly old rascal !
heard the key of his door softly turn, and
out into the hallway he stepped, stealthily,
like burglar, and clad only in his pajamas
saw him try her door. 1t was locked. | saw
him stoop and heard him whisper through
the keyhole, 81 can't get in" She answered,
''YOu must" Said he, "Unlock the door,
Said she, II can't"
Then the old rascal got a chair, and climb
ing up, actually tried TO get through the tran
som. He had just got his head and shoulders
through the aperture when Mrs Post Office
rushed upon the scene and, grasping the situ-
tion at glance, with presence of mind
grabbed him by his dangling legs and screamed
for help, showering reproaches upon her un-
faithful spouse, mingled with uncompliment-
airy illusions to the ''bold, bad hussy', in the
hall-room. Her cries for help were echoed
from Indiana's room in sort of smothered
desperation, while poor Mr.. Post Office, who
partly from his own endeaYors to get in and
his wife's to get him out had got tightly
wedged in the transOm and was being nearly
pulled in half. The rumpus, of course, woke
up Treasury and War, both of whom appeared
upon the scene in abbreviated but picturesque
costumes, while State, from behind his locked
and bolted door below inquired in diplomatic
phrase something about the cdSuS 6etH This
so shocked Mrs. Post Office, who evidently
thought it some alluson to the capaciOus alb
domen of her spouse, which was the cause of