The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1891-07-09

legitlInit perteshun, and haNnt had no
time to weeld my facile quill for 1.-The
Crate Komick paper. IL you'll allow me
70 kote from your trOOthful advertise
ment
Ny success was skaly. and I likewise
had nsrrer scape Of my life. II what
I've bin threw is '.Suthern hospitality"
bout which we've hearn 50 much, then
I feel bound TO Obsarye that they male
two much Of me. They was altogether
too lavish with their attenshuns.
Invent amung the Seseshers with no
feelins Of annermosity. went in my
perfeshernal capacity. I was actOnated
by one Of the most LOftiest desires which
can swell the human BuZzum-viZ., to
Civ the people their moneys worth. by
shown them Sagashus Beests. and Wax
StatoOts, which | yenter TO say air on
surIIast by any other statoOts anywheres.
/ will not call that man who seq my
statoOts Is huInbugs lier ard hoes
thief, but bring him bel me and Ill
wither him with one Of my scornful
frowns.
But to pressed with my tail. In my
travels threw the Sonny South | hearrl
heap Of talk about Secession and Dustin
up the Union. but didn't think it
mounted 10 nOthin. The politicians in
all the villages was swearin that Old
Abe (sometimes called the Prahayrie
6ower) shouldn't never he nOgsrIatel.
They also made fools Of themselves in
varis ways. but as they was used Ia that
I didn't let il worry me much, and the
Stars and Stripes continued for to wave
over my little tent. Moor over. was a
Son Of Malty and member 81 several
other Temperance Societies. and my
wife she was DawtRr Of Malty, and
sposed these fax would seCOor me the in
ioonz and and partectiun Of all the fust
families. Alasl was dispinted.
State AFTER State sessshel and II
growed hotter and hotter for the under
sined. Things came IN n climbmacks in
q small town in Alahsmy, where I was
ordered to haul down the
Stars & Stripes. A deppytashun Of red
faced men cum up 10 the door Of my
tent ware I was stsndin tatin money
1.-THE AFTERNOON exhibishun had CON-
menst. an my Italyun organist was
jerkin his sole-stirrin chimesL I'VE air
cum. Sir" said q millingtary man in n
eockt hat. upon n high and holy
mishun. The Southern Eagle Is screamin
threwout this sunny lsnd-prOudly and
defantly screamin, SIR
Whats the matter with him. sez I:
"dont his vittles sit well on his STUN
muck"
That Eagle, Sir. will cOntinner to
scream all over this Brite and trenenjus
landT-
wall. let him scream. II yOur Eagle
can amuse hisself BY screamin. let him
wentr The men annoyed me. for was
biZzy maxim change.
I'VE are cum, Sir, upon a matter Of
You're right, Cspting. It's every
mans dooty TO visit my show" sed l.
I'VE air cum
"And that's the reason you are here!"
sez /, larfn one Of my silvery larfs. /
thawt IL he wanted 10 COAX I'd Civ him
some Of my sparklin eppygrams.
"Sir, you're inserlent. The plain ones
bon Is, will you haul down the Star
spangled Banner and hist the Southern
hagY'
mary histr' Those was my reply.
"Your wax works and beests is then
& you air arrested as .
SPY"
SEE I, MY fragrant roses Of the
Southern cline and BlOomin daffOdils.
what's the price Of whisky in this town.
and how many cubic feet Of that setluct-
I've hooid can you individually holdT'
They made no reply TO that. but said
nv wax figgers was cOnfsticated. !
axed them IL that was ginerally the stile
among thieves in that country. TO which
they also made no reply. but sed was
A. Spy, and must go to Mont
gomry in iuns. They was by this time
iined by a large crowd Of other South.
ern patTits, who commenced hOllerin
Hang the baldheaded abOlitiOnist. AMI
bust mp his immoral exhibitiun- was
ceased AMI tied 10 . stump. and thu
crowd went for my tent-that water
proof pavilion, wherein instruction and
had been 30 muchly COM
bined, at 10 cents per head-and tore II
III 10 pieces. Meanwhile dirty faced
boys was THROWN stuns and empty beer
bottles at my massiv brow. and talrin
other improper liberties with my perspn.
Resistance was useless. for n variety Of
reasons, asI readily obsarved.
The Seseshers confisticated my statoots
y Smashing them 10 attums They then
vent 10 my money box and confsticated
u the hose change therein contained.
They then went and bust in my cages,
ettin all the animals Loose, n small but
,elthy tiger among the rest. This tiger
,as . eccentric way Of tearin dogs 10
,eaces, and I alters sposed from his gin
raj cOnduck that he'd hav no hesitashun
n servin human beins in the same way
I he could git at them. Excuse me II I
ms crOoil, but / larfed boysterrusly
rhen I see that tiger spring in among
he people. go Il, my sweet cussr- /
hardly exclaimed 81 forgive yOu for
itin OF my left thum with all my hearti
lip 'em mp like q bully tiger whose Lare
as bin invaded by Sesehers!-
I can't say for certain that the tiger |
srisly injured any Of them. bat a. he |
re- seen few days after, sum miles dis |
mt. with . large and well selected rs
1rtment Of seats Of trowsis in his mouth,
nd ~ he lookt - tho he'd bin havin sum
lent exercise. rayther gues he did.
on win therefore perceive that they /
idn't cOufsticste him much.
I was carrid 10 Montgomery in iuns
nd placed in durans vial The jail was
oDery eaifs. but the table was lib
ally surplied with Bakin and Cab
Idge. This was q good variety, for
hen didn't banker after Balin could
lip myself 10 the cabbige.
! had nobody b talk to nor nothin 10
III about, however, and I was very
nelly, specially On the 6rst day; % when
'e jailer parst my lonely IN I put the
W stray hairs On the back part Of my
d Qm bald now, but thare was . time
han wore sweet auburn ringlets) into
dish-hevild . state - possible, q
llin my eyes like . msayuck, cride:
Nay, jzler. stayi I IN not mad. but
On shall Be II you d0at bring me
thin b Tsikr Hs iEuns ne sum