The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-14
POPPING THE QUESTION.
How Meq Should Offer Their Hands
and Hearts.

NhU 1lSot tDf
How men and women mate, and
what the nan says to the woman in
that all serious movement when he
asks her to be his wife. is a matter of
interest not only to those who con-
template going through the ordeal,
but also to those others who have
passed through the terrible excite
ment and forgotten all about it. There
is nothing perhaps SO quickly forgot
! ten by a man as the actual words he
employed in asking his inamorata to
marry him. If she says ''yes!" he for
gets all about it for joy-if mo-" he
dismisses the painful interview from
his mind and never allows it to return;
for the simple reason that all refiec-
ton causes him piqne and annoyance.
To speak of the various modes of
proposing generally adopted would be
interesting but lengthy. Briefly, a
few of the styles may be summarized
under the palpably appropriate head
ings in a we'll known sketch depicting
the experiences of a would be skater
on the ice:3The drop sudden
1.-The check Intellectual. "7''The slide
triumphant" 1.-THE victorious re-
treat" and THE damp collapse" 1t
will be seen at a glance that these re-
quire ne further comments. 1t Is
merely suggested how men ought to
make their proposals sc as, at least,
to please the women they thus honor,
even should the proffered honor be
declined.
First of all, a man ought not to
mind being refused, and never regret
being accepted; II is as frequent as
the other. When refused, he should
never fall into the too common mis-
take of saying he will go to the dogs!
Women nowadays are not impressed
by it, but if a rejected lover really
went to his dog for sympathy and an
couragement. it might touch q
woman's heart, and, in any case, in
spire her with respect.
1t would be well if a man would
abstain from paying a girl any atten-
ton whatever until he has made up
his mind he would like to marry her.
Then let him ''go at it pluck.n A
timid wooer appeals only to mascu-
line women. A rue woman who sees
a man dangling about in a desultory
manner, n day looking unutterable
things, and another time hardly MOTTO
ing her, will very oon make up her
W mind; then, that man should not
attempt to propose.
The least said when proposing the
better, although compliance with the
following advice, lately given by a
well-known, humorist, is not urged
The chap who tries to win a miss,
By appealing to her reason.
Is much less Ike to gain his bliss
Than he who ventures on a kiss,
Combined with gentle squeezin'
This is Enthusiastically a mans idea
very neatly put, but the sort of pro-
posal a woman really likes best is for
the man to go straight to the point,
and without hesitation or bashful-
ness, and if possible no blushing, to
say, Mamie, l love you; will you
marry me?" Or, perhaps, still better,
will your" with, of course, a neal
ing glance; and the woman to answer,
mo, thank you" or else. Eyes, with
pleasure" as the case might be, just
as for a dance. This would save much
in the way of wounded pride, injured
feeling and heart-breaking, for least
said soonest mended."
Spoken proposals are so often only
the result of a momentary catalepsy
of the brain, that it is not to be Won
dered at if they generally end badly.
Eight times out of ten writing is best,
but it should be short also. Sincerity
is never wordy, and woinen are quick
to detect insincerity.
No woman could possibly be
offended, yer if she knew a nan but
slightly, should she receive a letter
x,,,t+o. ~ cn,,0tI:nr l;ly1 Az foII1rr
ing style:-''Dear Miss Zimmerman-I
admire you and your many qualities
deeply don't talk of her charms). |
am not rich (this will most likely be
the case; if not, don't say so, she pro
badly knows it already. but l make
Cor have) SO much a year., and if the
prospect does not frighten you, and
you will consent to become my wife
(the word wife must be used for rea-
sons explained later ON. and will
grant me leave to try and win your
love, l will ever remain, truly
yours, -"
If to this the man receives a polite
refusal he will naturally feel rather
detected for q week or so; the best
remedy will then be a complete
change of diet. External agents, like
the air of solitude, have nothing to
say to his present condition; but if his
luncheon usually consists of a steak
and a bottle Of lager, he should at
once change it to soup and sherry,
then vary it with fish and claret. BY
the time he finds himself wishing for
his steak and beer one more he may
look upon himself as convalescent and
try again.
A man who starnmers should never
attempt to speak his proposal, nor
should elderly men. Men, however,
who prefer to sneak their proposals
should first choose their opportunity
carefully, OF make it if necessity; but
let them beware of the too common
snare of arraying themselves in usus-
ually fine clothes, and above all let
there be no buttonhole bouquets.
This outward decking of the pros
pective victim is a great mistake in
real life, although it is the generally
accepted thing in art, on the stage
and in novels. Ancient wooers are
perhaps the chief sinners in this re-
spect, but then they have so much to
contend against that it is charitable
not to be too severe upon that matter
so far as they are concerned.
When a man goes to a house with
the intention of proposing let him
never forget to leave his hat in the
hall. for should the lady refuse him
it will materially lessen the dignity of