The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-04-20
CROSS CUTS.
The Physical Life Of Women.

D0outy II Ouly ShlA uGSp, DuU IL Will g0G
seat III the horse car every time.-BinRham
ton Leader.
Briggs-Watts considers his wife a yer,
superior person. Potts-Yes; he takes him
self as the standard of comparison.-In
d%ianapolis Journal.
Rose-Come, Carrie, let's decide. Shall
we give d tea? Carrie-Well, YES. Rose
n now the next thing to decide on is
whom shall we slight?-Judge.
Mrs. Hicks-'Mary. where is Dickey?"
Mary-"Out in the back yard, num-
Mrs. Hicks-"Go out and see what he il
doing and tell him to stop it."-Harper'l
Bazaar.
Canvasser-Can l see the good man OF
the house, madame? Mrs. Naqpers-No
you can't. There isn't any good man in
the house. There's only my husband
Omaha Bee.
She-How delightful to SIT out under the
trees and listen to the concert BY natures
feathered songsters. He enthusiastically
Yes indeed, and it don't cost a red cent,
either.-Epoch. Il
Subscriber wants to know how hest3to
"bail hay."* Our m~ethcd.has ALWAYS b ta
to use a suction pumpsssiWhat was your
scheme? We're you going to give bond
st Joseph News. !
Babies are so slow in learning to talk be-
cause they have to devote SO much of their
time and energy in trying to understand
what in the world it is their mothers saw
Somerville journal.
Skinner-Hava vor uota-.a 4L
your New Jersey Improvement COMPANY
yet? Grabber--No, we didn't need to; two
thirds OF the property is under water al
ready.-Munsey's Weekly.
Clayton-How DO you like that typewriter
l sent you? Is she accurate and careful
enough for you? Rawley-No doubt about
her being careful. She stops and asks me
how to spell every word, -Continent.
WHAT wages do you expect?' asked Mrs,
OF the candidate for the position of
cook lady.
II never work for wages, num-" returned
the cook lady, 81 goes on salary or nothin','
Epoch.
Hospital Physician-"Was this man run
over by an engine?"
Ambulance Driver-''No. He went along
Washington street asking every n he met
If thore had banana stand taken by the gov
eminent on the Italian observation-disclosures
Tribune.
The Rev. DR.. Restler(to reformed youno
mani: DO you speculate in stocks any now?
Il. Y. NJ: No Doctor, at all-but I plav
poker some. DR.. Restler: Mustn't do il.
boy; that's but a milder form of eamb-
ling.-[Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Pullman (about to purpose: Miss
Sanford, l am now going to say what I
wanted to say an hour ago. Can you not
guess from my eyes what it is? Miss San
ford: Do you mean Good night?' You
look sleepy. THE Epoch.
"What is the deepest depth of ienorance?,
asked the philosopher, musingly, and the
man of the world made haste to answer.
ut is tine ignorance displayed by n railway
official when there has been a wreck on hia
road."-St. Joseph News.
Miss lrotter," said the young man. At
nave been deceived. l have been trampled
upon"
No." she replied softly. ''you cannot saw
that; althouRh-although you may have been
sat upon."-New York Herald.
DO not repine because the strawberry hoy
has its bottom near the top. If the boxes
contained more berries they would contain
more acid and more grit. No, my dear sir
or madam, you have no reason to com
plain, but rather to rejoice.-Boston Tran
script.
1t is smokers etiquette when you give .
friend II cigar to light your own first and
hand him the burning match. This NOT
only saves him any danger of discomfort
from the phosphorus, but it may give him n
chance to see what is likely to happen n
him before it is pitiably too luts.-Wosb-
ington Post.
What is this country coming to-" sbout-
ed the prohibitionist orator, when We see
the rumseller and his mini ,ns in places of
trust?'
II INIT found none of 'em ruppin, M
of trust vet, and | been in this town
more'n a year." unused the seedy man near
the heater lndianapolis Journal.
Attention Builders aud Owners OF H,,,a-
ings.
+. s. Lang d Co. have been nppoint.a