The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-21
sUNFLowER s1LHoUETTEs.

in Kansas at present. He is the jack-knife
that rips the melon.
You have heard of old people drying up
and blowing away" PETER does not dry
up, but he blows away.
| Fashion authorities aver that smooth
chins will be in vogue this winter. PETERS
whiskers will get wind Of this.
Joel Moody. the poet-politician, married
Mrs. Ella Porter, Fort Scott widow, last
| night. This will put an end to his poetry.
Senator PETER is said to be in favor of
Harrison Kelly for Plumb's place PETER
| realizes that the only way he can loom up
is to get somebody pitifully inferior for a
colleague.
The Alliance orator tells the farmer that
eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.
Such EXPLANATIONS as this will pale into
insignificance when the Republican speak
er reminds him that 81 25 is the price of
wheat.
Jim Troutman bankers after the gov
ernorship. So does Funston. And Nor
rill, and Farmer Smith, and George T.
Anthony. 1t is no easy matter TO tell who
will be the next governor CT Kansas, but
it is no trouble at all to guess who will
not be.
what has become of that JAM" sharp
ly demanded the wife of one of Kansas
congressman the other day. ut was here
but an hour ago"
Don't worry about that JAM" cried her
husband, who had suspicious stains on his
lips; its in Clover"
How much do you love me?" asked the
rural Kansas belle of her Romeo.
"Oh, bushei"
Then you don't love me any more than
you did Sally Smith two years ago. That's
what you told her then"
You forget, Juliet" he murmured
softly. that bushel of corn would only
bring 10 cents then; now it is worth co."
Tableau.
VIII White is nothing if not original
At the big Republican rally in Ell Dorado
short time ago he had prepared several
bushels of white paper slips upon which
was printed: "Sl. PETER, Simpson &
Co." When the big procession started
Will provided himself with wagon and
tanning mill and stood shoveling in the
slips with a scoop, while a man turned
the crank and the money" of PETER,
Simpson e. Co. was scattered like leaves
by the autumn breeze. The crowd didn't
require a chart to cause them to catch on.
A tramp ambled over to the fence of
big yard and called to the hired man to
lend him plug.
what do you mean" asked the fellow
resolving not to be worked"
plug. Plug Don't you understand"
SENTa11 1,a
in the stable, plug in the watermelon
and plug on the hat rack. Which do
you want?"
The fellow walked off crestfallen. He
wanted tobacco.
1t was an itinerant peddler who was talk |
ing. Il have never sold more good in Kan
sas in all the years previous than l have !
sold this year." he said "a man 20 sell |
goods must understand peoples ways and |
ideas. You ought to see me work em in the |
[ went up to farm house last |
week and a big fellow came to the door.
'Let me show you these goods" said. |
'We don't want 'em," he snapped out.
'Look at this celluloid hair brush?'I
mo, sir, don't want to see it.
NOW there is a match-case; make a |
pretty watch charm"
al tell you L don't want it,"
Nothing at ALP"
'No, sir"
''No earrings; pretty jewels; look at
em?'
mo, sir"
"Well," said, closing my valise. 'I'm
sorry l can't sell you anything. BY the
way, do you think you will get the nom
nation?"
He looked surprised and a little sheepish
How did you know about that?" he asked.
told him that | talked to everybody in
he county and prided myself that had
ome influence with the people, because
ley thought | was disinterested. Now
here's Bill Brown" | said, putting the
power on, hes trying to get the same
nomination you are, and last week he
Fought pair of earrings for his girl and
ne of those hand mirrors there. prom
sed him I'd say a good word for him at
very house. But that's neither here nor
here. Good day" As | started off the
armer got excited.
Hold up" he said, "Pll take a pair of
earrings myself and a hand mirror. Give
ne a celluloid brush, too. Now I've bought
more than Bill Brown, amt II"
| nodded
We'll. you just let Brown drop and take
Up me-"
promised.
And as the peddler lit a fresh cigar he
emarked: at amt much trouble to sell
GODS in Kansas, when everybody's run
ing for office and man understands
eople."