davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
wRYNKLED RHYMELETs.

Bloobumper Ito Jaysmith,, banker r.)-
Fangle is of your preferred creditors, UNDER
stand? q
me Smith, Gray d Co. IS Monthly.
Mr.. Opentop-I can't eat this pie of
YOURS Maria 1t would be suicioe.
Mrs. Opentop ttenrfully).-And yet, before
were married you said you would die for mel-Pack.
No anglomaniac was he
Twas very plainly true.
He didn't give Queens English, the
Respect that was its due.
-Wdsafxotom Stas.
Mistress-Tell the milkman to bring US
pint of cream.
Maid-No use num-. He hasn't any cream.
''Did he say so?''
Nom; but his milk doesn't raise cream. I've
tried it often. .''-Nelo York Weekly.
I've often wondered to myself"
Said thoughtful Mr.. Roth.
why clergymen are spoken Of
AS gentry of the CLOTH -
Ouoth Witticus-a man of Jokes
And tendency to shout them
sI guess it's cause there's apt to be
Abundant nap about them"
--Boston oourter-JournaI
'BIusher is the most bashful man ever
..weIl how on earth did he ever come to get
married?'' .-
HE was too bashful to refuse. PUCK
Miss Wayback-Who's dead, ma?
Mrs Wayback-No one as / knows on. What
makes We think someone is dead?
Miss Wayhaek-Pa Is brushin's his hat.-Street q
Smiths Good Nslos.
He does not always feel himself abused,
When heavy bills are sent him by the plumber
But does when one comes in for gas he used
When he was living out of town last summer.
-Neio Iork Press,
Insurance Solicitor-Well, doctor, have
you examined this new client?
Doctor-I hadn't thought ir necessary. You see
I've been treating him for the last seven years
l. S--Thats enough, dotcor. III he survived
that he must be man Of wonderful vitality.-Dos.
toa Courier.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
DIR, John j. Jennings.

DR.. John j. Jennings, the venerable
father of the Masonic Home, died Monday night at
hat institution at Grand Rapids, He a
Mason, and had held high offices in the order. He
was until few years ago a wealthy and prosperous
merchant here and during his prime he advocated
the building of the Masonic Home for INDECENT
members of the fraternity little realizing that he
would soon be a dependent himself. He was the
first inmate the institution and the first one to de-
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

WOMEN in various cities have undertaken
the salutary work Of sanitary reformers and
have insisted on having the streets cleaned
up. This permits the expression of hope
that women as q rule will abandon the fool
ish fashion Of sweeping the streets with
their skirts.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THE astute statesman, Hon. Isaac Pusey
Gray. OF Indiana, betrayed some uneasiness
before the Ohio election lest Campbell's vic.
tory might interfere with the Presidential
boom of Isaac Pusey Gray. The latest ad-
vices indicate that the Gray boom has Just
the same value now as before the election,
Gov. Gray can continue to treasure it up in
his dime savings bank.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

IGNATIUs DoNNELLY has brought two
more libel suits against the st. Paul Pioneer
P-ess-one for $1,000 and the other for $780,
600. On the returns from his former suit this
will net him 81 80, which hardly seems worth
the trouble. But if Senator Quay should ex-
hibit an equal industry against all the papers
which published that certificate, it might at
the same per cent of dividend yield him a
large revenue
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

ONE hundred million bushels of grain is
the total of shipments at Buffalo through
the Erie canal up to the end of October, and
the total for the season is estimated at 1885,
0O0, COO bushels. No wonder railroad influ-
ence looks askance at the proposition to con-
meet Pittsburg with the lakes by ship canal.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

IT is an interesting comment on the state
ofmanners in what is supposed to be the
centre of fashion to find the London Spectu-
tor asserting that a gentleman may be cour-
teous to servants or others in his employ. A
gentleman must be courteous to those who
are subject to him in any way, for the all
sufficient reason that If he is not, he is not a
gentleman. 1t may be possible under
peculiar circumstances to be discourteous
to those who can resent it, but not to those
who cannot.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

Mrs. Leanora L. Hance, wife of Oscar L.
Hance, former reporter on the Pittsburg Com
me7ctaI Gazette. died at The home of her parents.
ex-County Commissioners Clerk NJ. c. Rose and
wife, at New Castle yesterday afternoon, aged %
wears The deceased has resi- ded there all her life
was one of New Castle best yong ladies. and had
been married less than two years. Nr. Hance Is
confined in Pittsburg hospital with typhoid
fever.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Has a Presidential Bearing.

Philadelphia Telegraph.]
Viewed from q national standpoint the
elections of this month are of especial
interest on account of the near approach of
another Presidential contest. The only thing
that is reasonably clear at this time is that
there will be no such demoralizing political
landslide, one way OF the other, as took
place last fall.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
THE New York Court of Appeals has de-

The New YORK Court Of Appeals has de-
cided that the plea of usury is good de-
fense in a mortgage foreclosure, and has an.
nulled mortgage on which ten per cent OF
the principal had been withheld by the
lender. This affords a good text for our
New York contemporaries to enlarge on the
advance of Farmers Alliance principles to
the extent of capturing the highest court of
New York.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
He VIII Chance II,

Chicago Iuter-Ocean.1
Governor Campbell first said: 81 will
chance it," He doubtless now wishes he ha d
stuck to it, instead of following Mills in o
wild goose chase. The Democrats of Ohio
who made the platform will have to do the
voting for him, and they naturally don't
like to have their work sighted.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THE news that a club of young Republi-
cans in indianapolis voted down a resolu-
tion endorsing Harrison's nomination by So
to 2 and adopted one supporting Gresham
will look to the administration like offensive
partisanship. 1t is safe to wager that there
were few officeholders in that club.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THE Shah of Persia is also troubled with
the necessity of dealing with heresy, but
his measures are much more thorough than
the disciplfnarians of this land The heads
of the unorthodox teachers are removed
not f1guratively but literally. As a conse-
quence there is little talk in Persia about
revising the Mahommedan creed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THE exigencies of politics have gone very
far when, as in Chicago, the Times makes a
great jubilation because ]. " Farwell in q
public speech made himself obnoxious to
the Anarchists. The Hon. Carter Harrison
should take an early opportunity of inform
ing the rest Of the world if the Anarchists
hold the casting vote in the Worlds Fair
CITY
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

The adult only has vote,
The boys hot in the game.
But give him horn and healthy throat
And he'll get there just the same.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

If modification of the mind is a salutary
discipline the organic editors should be SEN
fenced to wait two weeks until the election
insanity has subsided and then read their
own campaign editorials.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
PETER win Stay Awav.

Lawrence Journal.
The hatchet with which George Washing.
ton cut down the cherry tree will be on ex-
hibition at the Chicago Fair. 1t is safe to
say that when PETER goes to the Exposition
he cannot be induced to enter the building
which contains it,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

Now that they have got past election
with more or less damage to their party, the
Republican Senators should arrive at q
speedy decision whether they prefer white
wash or dodging
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

IF the Republican party in the State has
got to carry Boyer and McCamant, and in
the nation, Egan and Raum, it will have
reason for protesting against the severity of
the handicap.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

AMONG the examples Of the silence which
is eloquent is the omission from the speeches
Of the Hon. Thomas B. Reed of any refer
ence to the leadership of James G. Blaine
and the policy OF reciprocity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
potn sides Claiming victory,

ST. Louis Globe-Democrat.1
The politicians on both sides are claiming
everything, and some ofthem will continue
to do it until n day or two after the returns
arc all in, no matter what the returns are.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Walter Crisp.

Walter Crisp, second SON of Congressman
Charles r. Crisp died at o. clock, Monday night,
at Americus, Ca 1t was the news of the young
mans fatal illness that compelled Judge Crisp to
break his campaign appointments in New York
and Massachusetts,.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Newark Gets the O. N. G. Site.

NEWARK, O., Nov. 3.-[Specfat.1 There is
great rejoicing here tonight over the fact
the commission to select an encampment
site for the o. N. G. voted to locate same in
Newark.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

The appearance of the young Due dos.
leans as correspondent in divorce suit
indicates that French morals must be get.
ting down to about the English level,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

SOME people may have thought it indis-
Greet for the New York Republican organs
to claim victory with such unalloyed conf
dence before the election; but they had to
claim tt when they could.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

AS it will take about six weeks for any of
our war vessels to reach Valparaiso, there
will be plenty of time to let things simmer
down and to clear the air of all misunder-
standings.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

Perhaps the time is coming when some
American manager will also produce with
success real American plays in Europe
Chicago Ne,cs There is no req son why this
could not be done. The material is at hand.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

ALLEGHENY is putting on metropolitan
airs with vengeance. Ii half what is
limited at is true she will have to enlarge her.
prison accommodations and sewers.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Colonel Joseph C. Hays.

Colonel Joseph c. Hays, father of Assem-
blyman F. W. Hays, of Oil City, and Major John
b. Hays, of the New York Tribune, died yesterday
morning of paralysis, at Meadvie. He was born
in 1s1O- He learned the printers trade and spent
several years in the office of General Cameron. A
warm friendship endured between them through
life. Colonel Hays was for sometime editor and
proprietor of the Cranf0rd Messenger. He after
ward founded the Crnrcford Journal. In politics he
was originally Wing. but was one Of the first to
give support to the Republican party. whose prin-
ciples he had advocated in the Journal for some
time prior tS the inception of that party
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

GAS or coal? is conundrum that is eiv-
ing additional poignancy to householders by
the regime of twenty cent gas.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

IT reckon It Is, !" says John.
"Were the rascals routed?" says Ma-a-a-ary,
sOr are they still marching on?''
Then John looked ut Mary sadly,
And he wiped a big tear away;
$50 long as there's voters dear Mary,
Every rascal will have his da.a-ay"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
has followed in Napo-

The American hog has followed in Napo-
leon's footsteps-It has crossed the Alps.
On,cha Horld- Herald. 1t is to be hoped that
it won't continue to follow in his footsteps.
1t is too soon to have it consigned to an isle
in the sea.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
TALK OF THE TIMES.

Judgment day, Tuesday.-Ne,c York World.
1t was the kind of n judgment, though, that
surprised q good many.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Della Parnelps Advice to lrishmen.

DUBLIN, Nov. 3-United Ireland prints a
letter from the late Mr. Parnell's mother ap-
pealing to Irishmen to vote for Parne1lite
candidates, and adding that their great raj
lying cry must be, Remember Parnell and
his murderers."
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

Tennessee clearly needs to enlarge its ac-
commodations for criminais.-Chicago Tri-
b,tne If the miners keep on, no accommo-
dations will be needed.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
ing European Products.

Brazil Taxing European Products.
Rio JANEIRo, Nov. 8.-The Brazilian Gov
ernment proposes to impose q tax of 30 per
cent on all European products.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

COARSE wit was rightly rebuked in a
home theater the other night. What raises
a laugh in New York is liable to raise row
in Pittsburg, and the giddy players should
govern themselves accordingly.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

FOOD for thought is Of necessity proven
der for the brain.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON,

THE lawyers know by this time just what
Mr.. Quay is here for.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

The candidate who was scratched yester-
day feels sore to-day.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Tho Work of Factions.
PHILADELPHIA Record.

Philadelphia RecOrd.I
Factions threatens to undo the labor Of
years and to delay indefinitely the fulfill
ment of many bright hopes and aspirations.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

ALL the rascals may not have been
turned out yesterday, but they were badly
scared.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

A PRETTY woman cannot throw stone,
but she can shoot a glance that hits the
mark every time.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

Billiards in Dakota and prairie fires in
Kansas are giving the poor farmer hard
fight for life.-Chicdgo Times. This is great
country. 1t has space enough for floods,
droughts, blizzards and hurricanes to work
at once and still leave the majority un-
touched, :
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

WITH the elections over, the discreet
Matthew Stanley Quay may reflect that it ia
rather late in the day for libel suits
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

future career of a young composer who was
unheard of last year and now occupies
the attention of the operate world.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THE tiger is not the only member of
Tammany that wears stripes.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

THANKS to Quay and the Senate majori-
ty the campaign in this State is still on,
mores the pity.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

MEN-oF.wAR receive boarders witt
loaded arms.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
Whitewashing In Practice.

fuIHueIpn1H fresB.J
The marble statues of eminent public men
in Westminster Abbey are all whitewashed.
In America it is usually the man himself
who gets whitewashed, and not his statue.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

A GREAT many people are not as popular
to-day rs they thought they were.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

CLEVELAND voted like father yester-
day, but he voted the wrong way. just the
same.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04

IT'S blessing that gravestones are. 81
lent. II they could speak some of them
would ask the first stonecntter who passed
their way to chip Off the inscription.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
"Now is it all over?" saws Ma-a-a-ary;

is booming. Why not let him work off a
few murderers during his idle hours?
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-11-04
THE Sheriff alone suffers when busine $.

THE sausage is only skin deep, and that s
the beauty of 1t.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06

A man of commanding appearance,
about % years Of age and nicely dressed,
stopped at the residence of George Hot.
tel, a farmer, who lives south Of Mas
coutsh, Friday morning, and asked for a
breakfast, which he said he was willing
to pay for. While the farmer was pre-.
pairing breakfast the stranger pocketed
gold watch and small amount in
money which were lying on bureau
in al adjoining bedroom. Mr.. Hotel
subsequently went to the room and dis
covered the theft. He charged the gen
tlemanly stranger with having them,
and the latter promptly covered him
with his revolver and ordered him to
keep his mouth shut on penalty of being
shot.
The farmers wife then attempted to
assist her husband out of his predica-
ment, but was promptly knocked down
by the stranger, who made Hotel and
his wife sit opposite him at the table,
with their hands behind them, while he
quietly enjoyed his breakfast. Having
appeased his appetite he coolly shook
hands with the farmer and his wife, babe
them an affectionate farewell, took to
the woods with his plumber and has not
been heard from. Louis Republic.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06
His Half Dollar Was Glass.

A striking illustration of the quantity
Of bogus coins now in circulation in this
city was given in a downtown store re-
Gently. A customer who had made a
small purchase rendered fifty cent
piece in payment. The clerk pushed it
back across the counter and shook his
head. "That half dollars little too
new" he remarked. What do you
rneanY' demanded the customer. "I'll
show you" replied the clerk, picking mp
the coin and then letting it fall sharply
On the counter. The shock caused the
counterfeit to fly into fragments. twas
giittering sham composed Of glass,
with a thin veneer OF metal. There
seems 10 be good reason for thinking
that a gang of counterfeiters and their
Accomplices are working Chicago. An
astonishing quantity of bad coins is now
cut among citizens, and apparently its
volume is increasing rapidly. Chicago
News.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06
The Clock stopped When He Died

The sentimental and superstitious who
are given to tracing the laws Of coin
cidences will find an interesting subject
for their attention in the recent death of
jeweler in Bucyrus, o. For many
years it has been the Office Of a skillful
German matchmaker, named Frank
Kehrer, to attend to the town clock,
which is in the steeple Of the court
house. During the past few months the
health of Mr.. Kehrer has been poor, and
the clock, deprived Of his careful atten-
ton, has been keeping Indifferent time.
Monday morning the timepiece struck 8,
and few moments later it stopped.
Early risers who heard the chime af-
firm that there was something indescrib-
ably weird and peculiar about it. Later
risers, noticing the clock hands pointing
10 sos, commented upon the subject and
its aged guardian. Later in the day the
news spread that Mr.. Kehrer's condition
had suddenly become worse and that he
had died at 6: 05 that morning The hands
Of the old town clock still point to the
identical time when the active mind and
shlled hand Of its master were paralyzad
- death.--Jewelers' Weekly.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06
DESERVING Iceland.

They have been taking a census in
Iceland recently and they are in trouble
there. too; but their trouble is not about
the congressional representation. 1t is
something even more serious. 1t APP
pears that SO great has been the hegira
to Canada and the United States il has
taken away from the island fully 20,000
people. This does not seem such a very
large number, except when one consid-
ers that the original population was only
about $4,000. One-fourth of the entire
population then has emigrated! The re-
suit is disastrous. Taxes have been
greatly increased, while properties have
become reduced in values. The har-
vests, too, have been greatly lessened.
There seems to be but one way out for
the Icelanders They must all follow
the vanguard and abandon their island
to the walrus and bear. Perhaps few
centuries hence some Professor Horsford
will discover evidence of human habita-
ton at some prehistoric age III Iceland.
Boston Advertiser.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06
Electric Flowing.

An installation for the purpose OF
blowing the land by electric motors has
been set up on the property belonging to
the Marquis de la Laguna. The power
Of waterwheel Of some twenty horse
power will be employed, and the imple-
ment for working the land is expected to
work at distance Of three miles from
the generating dynamo. So far as the
electrical plant is concerned all is right,
but deficiency Of mechanical and agri.
cultural knowledge on the part of those
intrusted with the work seems likely &c
make this trial failure. This is much
to be regretted. as the promoters of toe
experiment have been fortunate in find.
ing a landowner who is disposed to make
a trial Of such an important application
Of Observation-Disclosures.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1891-03-06
spurious Money in the Northwest.


Secret Service Agent Harris returned
10 this city late Thursday evening after
IN absence Of about two weeks in Wash
ington and Oregon. where he had been
sent by the treasury department to look
after gang OF counterfeiters who were
0ooding that part of the country with
had paper money. Mr.. Harris was in
Portland for several days locating the
oounterfeiters, who were raising tive-dol-
lar national bank bills to $40. The work
was cleverly done, and is considered as
neat piece Of raised" work as has yet
been seen.
Tho detective got clew, and followed
his men to Whatcom, Wash. where they
were taken into custody, but were re
leased for want Of sufficient evidence.
On Nov. 10, at Tacoma, Mr.. Harris ran
scross counterfeit ten-dollar bills with
tho visnette Of Daniel Webster, and bad
one Of the gang Swallowed and arrested,
but his trial has not yet como of.
Counterfeit five-dollar pieces are also In
existence, and Mr. Harris states that the
entire country has been flooded with the
spurious coin. While in Portland Mr..
Harris arrested one Professor S. Brown
for issuing his advertisement on bill
similar to a bank note. Brown was fined
$1O0.-San Francisco Alta.