The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-07-06
BRIGHT BITS.

ARE you going to the Sunday school pic
nic''
NO; it's too warm"
Nonsense; this is just the weather for
Sundays cool picnic. -Pittsburg Chronicle
IeleGrdph.
WHAT was the subject of your commence
ment essayf' he inquired, quizzically. Beyond
the Alps Lies Italy?'
u did use the idea" admitted the sweet girl
graduate but modernized 1t into over the
Fence is Out .''-IndtdndpoltS Journal.
SNoDGRAss-Swayback is a remarkable man.
Snively-In what way?
He thinks be can sing"
There's nothing, remarkable about 1t.
Hundreds of people think they can sing"
But Swayback never tries. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
SAID the superintendent of the Texas peniten-
tiary at Huntsville TO a newly arrived delegate
You have the privilege of working at any
trade you prefer I'D like 30 keep on drivin'
cattle to Kansas. - Another gentleman in the
same institution wanted to be sailor .-Teras
SDtfn0s,
CLEvERToN-I have just lent my dress suit
and now you want to borrow my black diagonal.
What on earth do you expect me to weary
Dasheway-Oh, that's all right, old man. l
have brought over a most exciting book. Read
the first chapter and you won't want to 90 out.
-CLOthier and R1Irrlster.
FOREMAN OF THE JURY-Guilty of murder in
the first degreel
Judge-Prisouer at the bar, stand up to re-
ceive the sentence of the court.
The Prisoner (who poisoned her husband I'm
q minute Judge. Jennie to her sister,, is my
hat on NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Inquirer.
GENTLEMAN ION railway trainJ-Pardon me,
Madame, is this seat beside you engaged?
Lady tdistantly)-I presume l can remove my
sachel and bundles and make room, but the
Gentleman-Yes, Madam Your open
window is in front of them.-New York Weekly.
LIVING SKELETON (only one in America at
| dime museum)-These folks make me tired.
Sympathetic Vistor-In what ways
Here am earning $500 week as the great
| est living skeleton, yet hour after hour day in
| an day out, one old woman after another stops
| en- talks an talks at me about the things l
| ought to eat TO get fat. Good Netcs.
THE Dissatisfied GIRL wish you would
bring me something besides flowers occasion
! ely.
The Patient Lover-What would you lkeY
| The Dissatisfied Girl-Well, can name three
| things right Off
| The Patient Lover-Well?
| The Dissatisfied Girl-Well, candy or iewelry
| or-or-or both. -Hdrper'S Bazaar.
| VENDER OF PATENT MEDICINEs-Have you
had many contagious diseases in your family,
| ma'am?
Lady Of the House-Oh. yes; no end of 'em
We've had the scarlet fever and the measles,
| and the chicken-pox and the typhoid fever and
| the relapse-well, guess we've had everything
| but the convalescence.
! Vender of Patent Medicine-I have an excel
lent preventive Tor at.-PhGrmaceuticai
| Era.
| WITTY DETROIT girl had two suitors, both
named Charles. One had scanty hair, was
| tmid, and did not care to speak the word he
| wanted to. The other quite the reverse
and at the first opportunity made his wishes
| known. One day one of her acquaintance
| asked her: What is the difference between
| Charles the Bald and Charles the Bold?" by
| which she used to speak of them TO her CIR
friends. Only evowal," she answered quick as
| a tiash.-Detroit Free Press.
| In Mexico and other lands
As barbarOuS as sunny,
| Soap is too scarce for the demands
| or gr1my boards and sweaty hands,
| And circulates as money.
| How strange In this our northern cline
| Men capable of coping
| With all the problems of the time
| Will tell you with an air sublime:
Use cash, my boy, for soapingw
Chicago Herald