The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1891-03-05
ibowsEh HAS 4 HEADACHE.
Detroit Free Press.

out trying to save anything except the
camphor bottle. The programme then
runs as follows:
Enter Mr.. Bowser. ...-
Hangs up his hat and overcoat.
Marches into back parlor, evidently
suspecting some calamity.
I Stands and gaZcs at me as If were
some curiosity j try to smile, but it
is dead failure.
"Humph! Cholera, suppose?n
No" Very faintly).
yellow fever, then. / always knew
you'd have it,"
mo. Only-only-"
"Only small pox, ehl Nice thing to
bring Into the house, Isn't i'll"
Mr.. Bowser, live got one of my
"o-o-o-h! Is that all2 Good lands,
| you gave me scare! Headache!
| Humph! Ii / was woman of your
size and age I'd show little spunk."
But it's dreadful"
4 "Bosh! There's nine parts of imagl-
I nation TO one part headache"
! And he goes slamming around the
house and whistling away, as II every
sound did not fall on my skull like
/ blow OF hammer.
Coming to dinner?n
Mercy, but can't eat"
Cant Ell" Well, il you will let your
Imagination run away with you in this
for me TO eat, you know"
lie looks in as he is ready to leave
the house and says:
III you are down town this after
noon come in. Bye-bye, booby!'
WHEN BowsER IS ILL.
We have another programme-one
which is followed when Mr.. Bowser
comes home with a bilious headache.
III happen to be looking when he gets
oil the car block away l can tell what
Is the matter. He comes dragging his
logs, head down and eyes half closed,
and meet him at the door and in
quire:
'Mr. Bowser, have you beenrun over
on the strcetr'
"W-worse'n thatm he gasps, as he sits
down on stair step and holds his
head in his hands.
Have you been shot at or stabbed
by rutfinnY'
Would that | had!'
MIR; Bowser, what awful, awful
thing has happened2 Answer me at
once!"
"Pve-rye got one of those Internal
headaches"
"O-o-o,h? Is that all9 Why, didn't
know but some awful thing had hap
pened. Well. dinner is ready, and I've
got pork and beans. as you requested"
'P-porli and b-beans. My soul, wo-
man. but how can you talk p-pork and
b-beans to a dying mani" E.
only a headache! Why, what should
a great big man like you care about
headacle? Come to dinner"
But he staggers into the sitting
room md fnll GiInvnXrE m tha lnn,,fyn
and utters groan which arches tine
cats back up to an anglo. .
Mr.. Bowser, these headaches are
all Imaginary" l observe, as | take
him by the legs and swing him about
so that he rests on his back.
O-o-o-h!"
III | was a man of your size and age
I'd show little gpunk."
"O-o-o-h! How can | stand it,"
well, there'll be the more left for
me to eat. Better lie as quiet us you
cam
But don't go out to dinner. He
wants Il pillow for his head and he
wants his shoes taken OF and his feet
covered up, and then have to remove
his collar and neektie and tie q wet
towel uround his forehead, and all his
pluck has departed. 1t Isn't near as
bad q headache us mine, The slightest
headache nervous woman ever has
Will double discount any headache
assigned to man TO carry about, but
she must grin and bear it,
ATTENDING THE LORD AND MASTER.
get the hartshorn for Mr.. Bowser
change that for the eamphor.
chnfe his hands.
make mustard pldsters for his feet, :
warn the cook to be quiet in the !
kitchen, and send our boy over to
neighbors.
Then turn the pillow over.
Then hold the camphor under his
nose.
Then take of tho towel and tie it
tighter around his aching head. He
seems at last To fall into a doze, but
suddenly opens his eyes and family
calls:
Mrs, B-Bowser,n
Yes dear
do you thlnk-think I'm going to /,
d-die?p
Die? Why, you've only got head
But feet g-goneness-a sort OF !
sinking away DO you think il can be
collapse OF the systemg ,
"Of course not. You've got fever +
"a little one about as big as u pin +
iS"N'' hh 9pu w gov IL no Is 10 40 TO 4
Sleep
But you'd better call up the doc
tor /
"Nonsense!n
IL 5yf65ii Cont get the doctor I'll be ,
dead IN hall an hourln /
And SO l go to the telephone and /
ring up the central, and hold an iniagi- (
nary conversation with the doctor, as
follows:
AIR. Bowser thinks he is danger I
edsly ill and lie wants you to come up I
fight away. Can't you? That's too I
bad. Well, come in two hours at tho |
latest. He's on the lounge now. Yes, I
il started with u headache. Yes, I'll /
keep him smelling of the caInphor bot +
tie. Goodbye"
The entire afternoon is taken up with
nursing Mr., Bowser and assuring him
that he has not heen struck with death.
Then, at tea time, | must make him
toast and pouch him an egg, anda at bed
time the cook and have 10 help him
upstairs. He gets into bed with a
series OF groans, turns over with tho
declaration that he will mover see
another sun rise, and Is sound asleep
in ten minutes. Next morning. when
he arises fresh and clear-hcaded, and
| inquire it his headache is ali gone, hc
looks at me in IL disdainful way, and
replies:
Mrs. Bowser my headache us you
...ll E. - -