Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-10-29
PITH AND POINT.

The family tree can not be depend
ed on for board. indianapolis journal.
-''Yon talk a good deal in your sleep.
John" said Mrs. Henpeck. Its the
only chance get" said John, meekly.
"A woman never hits hen when
she throws a missile at it; but, alas!
a man is not q hen.-Yonkers States
man.
The ownership of the modern house
is usually shared between the baby,
the nurse and the hired girl.-Inter-
Ocean.
If the world, as it is said, owes
everybody living, the world ought to
get q mortgage on itself to pay its
debts.-Texas Siftings
-Hardfeature - my wife is near
sighted" Jimpson gazing long at
Neutrality-suspicious. would think she
was blind. IN. Y. Herald.
Heaven helps those that help them.
selves, but praying for your daily bread
does not entitle you to the entire bal-
ery.-Indianapolis Journal.
A man never fully realizes how
much of sponge he is until he slips
down in a puddle of water and mops it
all up.-Richmond Recorder.
The man of one idea may be bore,
while the man with none is that de-
lightful acquaintance who allows you
to do all the talking yourself.
Nothing makes one girl so happy
as to read another girls letters. A girl
couldn't be girl and not read all her
letters to some other girL-Texas Sift-
ings. 81
When young man and his best
girl get into swing by themselves it is
remarkable how they will mix up os-
cillation with osculation.-Buffalo Ex-
press
The man who prefers to be right
rather than hold Office can always have
his way; but it is more difficult for the
man who had rather hold Office than be
right--N. o. Picayune..
Always Desirable.-Mrs.C losefit-
'I hear checks are to be in great de-
mand by the modistes this fall" Mr..
Closefit-'I never knew the time when
they weren't. brooklyn Eagle.
No Possibility of It.-Jennie-"I
don't think there's any love lost be.
tween Milly Pond and Hudson ParlSe.
Peal-"I don't see how any could get
lost in that way; they. sit SO close to-
gether. Eagle.
81 tell you," said the head of the
family who had returned from the sea-
shore, you can never appreciate that
poem about the breaking waves until
you have gone out and been broken by
them yourself. "-Washington Star.
The Soul of an Artist.--''Aw, me
man." said Chappie, ''these clothes
don't fit me figuah at ALL" 81 know
they don't" said the tailor, sadly. "But
actually / couldn't bring myself to
butcher up good cloth into the shape
necessary to fit you" -Indianapolis
News.
Way Up.-Dick Swiveller--"Say,
are You going to leave that lawn now
er of yours out in the yard all winter?"
Plato-"Such was my intention" Dick
Swiveller-"Why, the thing will rust
all to piec es, you old nincompoop.
Plato-"You are entirely wrong. sir.
My SON says it won't rust, and he
knows. My son, sir, is eighteen years
and ten months old, and expects to
graduate from college next year"
Theodore Hallam once defended a
burglar. The burglars wife was on
the witness-stand and the prosecuting
attorney was conducting vigorous
cross-examination. Madam, you are
the wife Of this man?" eyes" "You
knew he was a burglar when you mar
ried him?' eyes" How did you come
to contract matrimonial alliance with
such MANI" "Well," the witness said
81 was getting old and I
had to choose between a lawyer and a
burglar" The cross-examination end.
ed there.