Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-08-16

They are always suited to the genius of
the people among which they are found.
and you must follow and not try to lead
unless you feel yourself inspired. But then
the inspiration must be direct, for nobody
can afford to make mistake about in
spiration.
If had known the wisdom which now
possess little earlier might have avoided
all my errors and married Middleton Hall,
and should not have been forced to wait
as am now forced to wait-before tax
ing the absolute lead in society as far as in
me lies. For as the emblems Of authority
are the necessaries of mans existence, so
are position and consequence the base and
the only solid foundation for the existence
Of a woman, but in course of time this for
which wait shall come to me. l will be
an arbitress, judge, and my example shall
be that of a woman who does her duty If
| am mistaken in this-as do not think |
am likely to bel will change my theories
yet once more, and belieye that woman is a
domestic animal. l will sit by the fire,
purr. drink tea and knit stockings.
And if I had married Middleton Hall
how entirely satisfactory my life would
have been. The wife of man of splendid
dignity and reputation, l could have as
sumed the position of a leader in society in
far higher sense than simply that of
popular belle, gay priestess OF feasts and
follies. My chosen acquaintance would
have been honorable, educated. literary. /
should have had foolish intimacies with
nobody. and frivolity would have been be-
meath me. / should have maintained sa-
lon, and not even my husband should al
ways have shared my Utmost confidence.
But that cannot be. | have chosen for bet
ter for worse. / recognize that fact, and
can fairly say that l am happy. AS for
emotional or hysterical moods, have none.
| am long past the time, and can smile at
the recollection of it, when l could dwell
with pleasure on the Arcadian ideal of love
in cottage.
My life is practical. and l am glad to
think that do not rest upon the counsels
of any directeur, lay or spiritual. OF
course L do not mean to give the impress
sion that | have not awakened to n sense
of my duties in regard to religion. | know
now that for long time was very god
less woman. l go to church; | take a just
interest in parish work; | am directress
of one hospital and visitor to another.
In word, know that religion is one of
my duties-the highest of them-and | am
persuaded that | have to the best of my
ability thought over the whole circle of
my duties, religion among them, and give
To each its proper share of attention.
l have been deprived of one more advant-
age by my misfortunes. | see other women
able to indulge their finer feelings in their
associatio MS with their families, their hus-
bands and their children. | do not con-
slider that such transports, such delights,
come under the head of what have rough
ly condemned as emotional absurdities.
They are intellectual, they are proper, they
are the same feelings that one experiences
on reading an exquisite piece of tender de
scription or witnessing fine piece of tragic
acting. Yet they are denied to me. From
my family have never been accustomed
to derive them: and as regards my husband,
though may occupy the position that Mr.
Latitude suggested for me-that of a re
pentant spouse''-it will be remem bered
that | gave hint in the first part of my
story that the result of my illness was to
thin my hair and ruin my complexion.
Such was indeed the melancholy fact |
regret it. 1t is perhaps my deepest cause
for regret, but it is irremediable except by
nature. | only think of it in the connec-
ton of which am now speaking. 1t has
CHuSeN II ulIlluuIion Oh NY
lection toward me.
AS he married me in great measure on
account of my beauty, and as used it TO
make him marry me, l can scarcely com
plain; and indeed l think it rather hard on
him. The fact remains, however, that the
first rapture is over. | have no children,
but perhaps L shall have them; at all
events l have the consolation of knowing
that if have not as much of my husbands
affection as l once had l have all his re-
spect and confidence. And without that
from her husband woman is powerIess
except to work on the feelings OF credu-
lous males; and that she ought to be
ashamed TO do.
THE END.