The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-08
Rsttsr Qualified TO snaak.

| Last Spring Mr.. Willard conceived the notion
Of taking the Rev Dr. F. W. Gunsaulus fishing
with him, says Eugene Field in the Chicago
ke1ss. He liked DR.. Gunsaulus OF all the
I saints and sinners that continually do cry, Gun
saulus was the one saint toward whom Mr..
hllard's heart went in affectionAte admiration,
/ ana this admiration expressed itself in an in
vttation to three days fishing tour to Fox
/ lake DIT. GunsauluS accepted, filed himself
/ full Of quinine. put on his secular red necktie.
and started with Mr.. Willard. One of the
genial pastors hock-Phil Armour-saw them
| on.
Here is something 70 wet your whistle"
hand.
Il never whistle" said Dr. Gunsaulus, inno-
Gently. But Mr.. Armour laughed and went
| away. The package was quart bottle OF
| splendid claret wine that Mr. Armour had got
H. V Bemis TO import from ruined chateau
| IN the Bordeaux country.
That's fine" said Mr.. Willard. The Fox
Lake water is bad at this season of the year,
and that cleret will be Just the thing for us!"
They went fishing next day. 1t was one OF
those blistering days toward the end of May.
The rays of the sun fairly parOoiled the waters
| Of the lake. Not fish was 10 be seen, not one
| to be caught
Mr.. Willard pulled the gum-tree canoe about
six miles down the lake in that awful heat,
stopping ever and anon TO cast for bass, but all
| in vain. The idiotic cook at the club had pup
up a lunch Of sardine sandwiches, and this
| simply aggravated the awful, the consuming
thirst engendered by the maignance of the
sun.
''How far are we from the club house7' asked
the Rev. DR.. Gunsauus-
About six miles-maybe seven" answered
Mr.. Willard.
Isn't there any house nearer than thatin
asked the clergyman.
NO" said Mr.. Mallard ''WhyY'
'Tm very thirsty" said the Rev. DR.. Gun
saulus Never felt so parched in all my life
before; my submaxillary region feels like a
tract Of Arizona real estate. Would give almost
anything for drinkl''
Then reach down under that seat and bring
out that bottle Of claret, said Mr. Maliard, tri-
umDhantly. Il knew it would come handy, so
l wrapped my coat around it to keep it cool and
packed it away out of the sum-"
Surely enoughr cried the clergyman, reach
ing under the scat and dragging forth the pre-
cious bottle. Isn't it deliciousl Red, too-red
as blood, but not so red as my necktie! How it
will cool my parchei vitals and refresh my arid
heart How do you get at itY Once when l
went fishing in the ChautauQua lake with Joe
Cock he knocked off the top of the bottle; shall
do that way with thiss'
NC" said Mr.. Willard, take this corkscrew
and extract the cork: meanwhile I'll pull to-
ward shore, where the reflection OF the sun
from the water isn't quite 80 terrible"
The Rev. DR.. Gunsaulus had opened bottles
before, but they were bottles of ketchup; cork
screws were new to him-the thing he had
always done it with was kitchen fork Natur-
ally, therefore he was awkward about this deli
cate JOB in hand end-we Shudder to tell THE
| reached the critical point of the performance
just as Mr.. Millard, having propelled the gum
tree canoe shoreward. gave tremendous pull
to port the helm" The eminent clergyman
lost his balance and dropped the bottle-yes
dropped the priceless bottls of unique claret!
The bottle fell, of course, upon the anchor and
broke into thousand bits. In another moment
the fragrant, ruby wine had mingled its pre-
cious juices with the bait in the bottom of the
gum-tree canoe
Fate, thou art capricious wenchl How
should we like TO tweRk thy saucy nose for thee
| thou ribald, ruthless mink!
Willard said nothing: he simply let go his
oars and gazed in silent horror upon that
wreck.
AS for the clergyman, he too. was speeches..
| He behed in voiceless terror his only hope ooz-
ing slowly but surely into the seams and cracks
| OF that plebeian canoe. No other drop of drink
within distance of six miles, as in ruthless sar-
casm the malignant sun poured down with re-
newed vigor It's melting flood Anarchy ran
| riot; chaos threatened.
In this supreme moment the Rev. DR.. Gun
| saulus raised bis wan eyes from that distract
| ing ruin, and, addressing his companion in
husky tones, he said: Willard, you are lay
man, speak,"