The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-05-29
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Its mighty cowardly man who
hasn't the courage to advise another
with the toothache to have it yanked
out-Boston Transcript
The day is at hand when it will be
an open question as to which is taking
the other to the circus, Johnny or his
Observation-Disclosures Post.
-"He is very dear friend of yours,
isn't hep" 'Yes, borrows ten dollars
regularly every week. "-Drake's Maya,
zine.
-"Debit"' is a word probably in.
vented by some disappointed creditor
with a cold in his head, who meant to
say something else.-Puck.
-"Mrs. Small, this coffee won't set
tle," complained McWatty to his board
ing-house keeper. "Then it is in good
company, Mr.. McWatty," replied Mrs
Small, frigidly.
-'Grayfellow seems to be greatly
changed" GLOW so?" Formerly
when saw him out walking he was al
ways in the company of some young
woman; now he is always alone" so
he is married now, you Known Y
Press.
Making Him Ashamed.-"If-if you
only knew what the bill was for, ,
sobbed the young wife, you would b-be
ashamed to scold so about it" "What
was it for?" demanded John. MY
birthday present for you," said the lit
tie wife. IN. Y. Sun.
-Wife-"Do you suppose the Creator
maaewoman last on the principle the
best comes last?" Husband-"Of course
not. He did it because he didn't want
everything talked about and pulled to
pieces and made over. "-Washingtor
Star.
In the spring man always thinks
it is cheaper to buy lawn-mower anC
trim all his lawns himself. In the heat
of July he always knows it is cheaper
to hire laborer to do the job-but he
can't persuade his wife. -Somerville
Journal
"A Good Rule.-RosenbergS Senior
"Simon, my poy, now that are going
into pizness for yourself let me gif yor
Won good rule to follow" Rosenberg
Junior. fader." Senior. Its
dis: If your customers don't see vat
dey want, make dem want vat dey see'
Yankee Blade.
Women are free in their gifts of love,
OF presents OF different kind,
But does giving her husband piece of i
show
She's rich, too, in presence of mind?
Philadelphia Times.
Some Musical Instruments
1.-THE most wonderful organ l ever saw
was the property of a private gentle
man. 1t had nearly hundred stops.
Richard-"The most wonderful organ
ever saw was the property of widow
1t was her tongue, and it had no stop!
at all"
Woman never swears, but when ;
man steps on the hem of Eer dress ant
ruins a couple of yards of expensive
trimming, the thoughts which pas
through her mind afford the devil al
much amusement as though she had lie
out string of oaths a mile and hal
long.-N. Y. Herald.
Ezra" said Farmer Begosh to hi
son, Il want We to go to town to-day.
eyes, sir" you go to the store anc
buy me couple of gallons of milk, ;
few dozen eggs, six loaves of bread, anc
put an advertisement in the newspape,
tellin' people we kin give 'em country
board. "-Washington Post.
In the Wardrobe "My hat, please?'
"Here, sir" THAT isn't mine" Eek
cuse me. Here it is ''That isn't it
either" "This one them No? VIVA
kind of hat was it?' "A new one
with white silk lining" "What! A
new hat-at nine o'clock! l ask you
pardon, but here all the new hats al
ways go away before eight. "-Fliegend,
Batter