The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1891-08-05
WIT AND HuMOR.

An able financial article-a hundred
dollar BILL Washington Star.
The deed of an incendiary is correct
ly referred to as a burning shame. y
Atlanta Journal.
What people often denominate a sea
of trouble is frequently notion of
dyspeptic ideas.-TeGaS Slfti'ags.
The political parade is productive of
enthusiasm. but the weekly-pay raid is
more profitable. -BinghG2nton Repub-
lican.
One trouble about unpleasant people
is that it generally seems impossible
for them to get out of the way.-1fit-
caukee Journal.
Some of us reserve our best smile for
select occasions, as if wearing it upon
all occasions would not improve it
AtchiSoas Globe.
Bailey Gin history exam. )-"They
say that history repeats itself. All! If
1t would but repeat itself to mem-
HarUard LanapOoaa.
The Revolutionary punches Ameri-
cans gave the Britons in the long ago
were made of the spirit of '76.-Neoo
Orleans Picaaataae.
Satan-"Ah! Glad to meet you. Go
ing to stay with us longP" New Ar
rival-''Only for the heated term, l
guess. ."-IndiGnGpolis Journal
A good many preachers try so hard
to feed few giraffes in their focks
that they let the sheep and lambs
starve to death.-RG2s'S Horn.
Clericus-"Hav you any idea what
makes Jobson such a skeptic?n Cyni-
cus-''Yes; he says the disciples were
all fishermen. IN. Y. Herald.
Education is all right, just so it does
not make the victim too smart to work
and not smart enough to get along
without work. GatUeSton NeaOS.
Rapp-'I look upon you, sir, as a
rascal.n Partee-"You are privileged
to look upon me in any character you
desire to assume, sir."-Tecas SyttngS.
What wise provision of nature it
is that the big, strong man is generally
good-natured." Yes; but his wife is
apt to be pretty saucy, though. -
Indianapolis Journal.
Human nature is human nature the
world over. The harshest critic the
newspaper editor has is the man
VINO COubIIUut6S W Iuo WdSI0 pdpcI
basket.-N Y. Recorder.
Author-'These two books-I hard
IL know what to call them-are wait
ing for titles" Joblots-''Why don't
you call them American Heiresses,'
?n-Harvard Lampoon.
A.-s'That wasn't nice of you to re-
fuse me the $40 wanted to borrow.
One friend should always help an
other" B.-''Yes. but you always
want to be the other. Life.
They sat together on the front
piazza midsummer day. DO you
know that this is the longest day in the
year?" he said. II believe you,"
she answered, yawning.-M. Y. Herald.
Wool-''What makes Mrs. Hicks
watch her husband so closely?" Van
Pelt-"A few nights since she started
to grieve for her first husband and
Hicks sympathized with her."-N Y
Herald.
Brummell Washington with his bride.
to marry her." She-"O, probably
somebody bet him he wouldn't t."-Har-
per's BazGr.
'Is it considered an honor to be sent
out as a missionary" ''Yes. Why?"
Il was only wondering" said Mrs.
Vealy. My husbands congregation
are unanimously desirous that he shall
go."-Epoch.
She-'You say woman cannot
keep secretPn He-''Yes, that is my
experience. She-'I have known of
woman keeping a secret for an age"
He-s'Yes; but it was her own age."-
NJ Y Herald.
In the Garden: Adam (reprovingly)
Eve" Eve-''Yes, dear, what is
it?" Adam hope that you are not
going to wear that bathing suit as a
regular thing all the year round. y
Washington Star.
Unsatisfactory Shopping place =
Daughter-"Her is Bigg Stock &
Co.'S great store. Let's go in"
Mother mo, no. No matter what
we ask for. they will be sure to have
tn Y Weekly.
81 am not given to slang, Nell" :"
mo, | don't think you are, George" !"
yet should like to apply slang
phrase to your chaperon." "Indeed"
Yes; would like to say she is out of
sight. IN. Y. Press.
Brown-"Miss Summit is remark
ably well-informed girl. don't you
think?" Miss Tattle-" "Why. no! She
of thing, but she never knows the latest
gossip. Munsey's Weekly.
S. Ponge-"Can you let me have $40
for week or so?n G. Enerous-"I've
only got SO, but you can have that if
it will do" S. Ponge-'.All right; I'll
take that and then you will owe me 3
dollar. r.n-HarUGrd Lampoon.
The newspapers poke good deal of
fun at the summer girl, but even
editors know that the summer girl and
a narrow-seated buggy and a moon
light night make very attractive COM
bination.-So4nerviILe Journal.
There are well-to-do men who will
get down on their knees in church and
pray for God to bless the whole earth
who wouldn't give a dollar towards
building fence around the church to
keep the pigs out of the graveyard
RAMS Horn.
What is the subject of your COM
mencement essay" he inquired quizzi-
cally. Beyond the Alps Lies ItalyP"'
Il did use the idea." admitted the
sweet girl graduate, ''but modern
lied it into Over the Fence Is Out. W
indianapolis Journal.
81 saw in one of the papers this
morning that Boston man has gone
into the millinery business" Yes.
He reasoned out saving of 96 pei
cent on his wife's bonnets and a profit
of Sc per cent on other mems wives
bonnets. ."-Harper's BaSGr.
He-.How prettily the moonlight
falls upon the sea and upon the beach. ,
She-"Yes; but don't you think it is
even more beautiful still among the
powders away from the hotel?" 1t had
occurred to her that he, too, might bt
bolder over there. SomerUjlLe Journal.
Yes" said the professor, ''even
trees have sex.n ''How shocking!" ex
claimed Miss Prude. .Don't you think
professor, that we had better discon
tinue our study of physiology in the