River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-03-05
PITH AND POINT.

He who steals considers this world
of :hieyes.-Vest Shore.
Take love and taxes ont of life, and
not much is left-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
"A candidate with telephone may
make his calling >rre, while his election
is uncertain as eyer-Texas Siftings.
--JOnes-"What is the matter with
Catchmoney's new typewriter girl?''
Smith-'Oh: she is troubled by bad
spells spirit.
BE man ever so absent-minded, by
surrounding himself with clever men he
win always have his wits about him.
St. Joseph News.
The man who bought cutter to GO
sleighing wished ne ':.d bought one of
the other kind when the thaw came. 1t
was good sailing.
If You want to be a specialist, be
rather dentist than an aurist. for man
has thirty-two teeth and only two ears.
-Fliegende Batter.
"A Partial Reform.-''Have a cigar,
Wilkins" NO. Swornooff." Given
mp smol5ing?" No Given up your
cigars. IN. Y. Sun.
"A Very Poor Man.-''You say he's
too poor to own dog?" YES. l act
ually believe he is Then. of course,
he has tive of them"
Hot water is said to be a sure cure
for every complaint, but we never knew
a man to feel any betteIS because his
wife kept him in it--Atchsson Globe.
If you want advice, get it from the
man or woman who is nearest your
own age. That is if you want advice
that You can aecept.-Atchison Globe.
There are only nine parts of speech,
but You wouldn't think it to hear two
women fighting about their children
over the back fence. - Philadelphia
Times.
MIR Dunly-'I always move about
in the best society" Mr.. Mayflower-
'1Ddeed?" Mr. Dunly-''Yes, I am the
agent of a debt-collecting institution. :"
Epoch.
Useless to Aim. Keedielx-'' Fral-
shus ought to be shot on gene -'al prin-
ciples." Ransom-''You could not hit
him there. He has no principles. -
Look out" howled the impatient
victim in the BARRIERS chair. DO you
think you're carving in wood?" No.
sir: more like etching on brass. Mil
waulee Sentinel
-Critic-''I didn't like that last line
in your article" Editor-''Well. the
public did" Critic-''Why SOP" Editor
-"Because it was the last line. At
lanta Constitution.
Fair Woman's Failing. Biggsy-
''Have you read Looking Backward. "
Wiggsy- No: but I've often seen it
acted when two well-dressed women
pass each other on the street. Brook
lyn Eagle.
President Eliot's observation that
young men of nineteen don't know as
much as they had ought to know, will
be Indignantly resented by the young
men. Later on, however, they viii
modify their views.
-"Of course" said the embarrassed
statesman, my parents did what they
thought would be most to my advant-
age when they gave me an education,
but they made great mistake when
they taught me to write. Washington
Post.
Cohblc-''How are you getting on
with your reading at the library? I
see you go around there every day as
regular as clocl-work." StOne-''I am
making fair progress, but l haven't
been introduced to her yet. Brooklyn
Life.
The Lady's Natural Mistake
d-Hearted Lady stopping seedy
pilgrim on the street)-''My poor man,
is there any thing ! can do for you ?''
Seedy Pilgrim-''You mistake me. ma
dam. ! am not a mendicant. / am
trying to be an amateur photographer
on $40 month