The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-04-17
MISCELLANEOUS.

"A l5uChH L hCebi JNA $3.50
million on the street," Not exactly.
A million was lost through me by my
friends. ! didn't lose IL cent. PUCK.
If you want to hurt the feelings of
little man who is strutting down the
street with feeling that he owns the
whole country and carries half the town
in his vest pocket, just remind him that
Mt least forty-two different and distinct
races of people inhabited this country
before he was born.
The Massachusetts senate commit
tee reports against the bill to legalize
perpendicular drinking. SO now, as be-
fore, it is not against the law i'll that
state to take seat in a saloon and
drink till you can't stand, though it
would clearly be illegal to stand and
take one drink.
ignorant Pcople.-Mrs. Bacllbey jof
Boston, Ignorant people are continu-
ally without cause making slurring re-
marks about the people of Boston"
Mrs. Uptown (of New York)-"O, then
you are from Boston," yes" TELL
me, please, is it true that the shop girls
speak Greek?"-YanlIee Blade.
"A Baboo man during an examine
ton was told to write an essay upon
the horse, which he did in the following
brief terms: 1.-The horse is very noble
animal, but when irritated he ceases to
do So" Another had to write upon the
difference between riches and poverty,
and he ended by saying: ''In short, the
rich man welters in crimson velvet,
while the poor man snorts on flint"
Virtue isn't always its own reward.
The English pickle manufacturers have
been making their pint bottles hold a
little more than pint, to be on the safe
side of an English law on the subject.
But when they send these pint bottles
to Canada they run against tariff law
which provides that any package meas
uring more than pint must pay duty
on quart
The women of Fort Scott, Kan,
have Il sign and token. Just after they
had completed the nomination for
mayor at the opera house a rooster that
was part of the Cold Day company's
properties, hearing the applause and
supposing the show was going on, came
on. of his coop and strutted down to the
footli%hts and Tapping his wings,
c"owed Justify. The ladies encored the
performance, and the rooster bowed his
acknowledgements and crOwed again.
The Ladies regard this as sure sign
that their candidate is going to win.
sheriff Kingery, of Adair county,
Iowa, lately had an unpleasant expert
eDce with prisoner, whom he was con-
veying to jail. They were on railroad
train, am the wide-awake prisoner
asked that his handouts be removed,
that he might sleep comfortably. The
sheriff complied, and soon after fell
asleep himself. When he awoie he was
alone. 1t is supposed that the prisoner
suddenly thought of important business
elsewhere, and felt that it would be UNI
wise to arouse the sheriff from his rosy
Slum berS.
An afternoon entertainment called
margarine vivant' is the latest thing
III Boston. There is stage on which
are presented tableaus in which bcaute-
GUS Boston maids and matrons take
part. Lovely classic altar in center
with n perennial fire burning on it.
Greek costumes, smoke of incense, and
a room full of critical Bostonians look.
ing on. Such is the usual programme.
And it is considered great fun, except
when some one varies the proceeding by
telling funny story.
A commercial traveller coming from
the Michigan Central depot on Cass
and Third avenue car last week gave
away the secrets of profession in con
versation with friend, says the De-
troit Free Press: Most travelling men,"
he said, ''have little schemes of their
own that they work to defray incidental
expenses. My strong point is dealing
in Canadian coins. My territory is in
Ohio, and in all Ohio cities and towns
Canadian coins are discounted twenty
cents on the dollar. Twenty-Five cent
pieces pass for twenty cents and half
dollars for forty cents. have twenty
dollars worth of quarters and halves in
my satchel now that bought in Toledo
to-day for SIG. In Detroit l use them
to pay hotel and cigar bills and realize
their face value"