Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1891-10-23
HOW SW ELLSSHOULDACT
ESSENTIAL NiCET.ES IN "CUL CHAvv,,
AND DEPARTMENT.

Points That Distinguish a Peculiar Sc,
in the Metropolis from the Recognized
Gentlemen of Leisure and Refinement
An Interesting Satire.
"By Jovel What cad. See the way he
carries his stick
"Yaas, and notice the way he holds his
gloves"
"Yaas, and he walks like drayman."
Cad, he's goin to bow to that gel. Sor-
ray faw the paw gel Watch him."
'Ah! all What an awful duffer If
couldn't bow better than that I'd stop at
home"
''Yaas. So would l."
Let's go to the club and sit down; that
sort of thing makes me awfully tired"
The man criticised was conspicuous, and
it was all because he hadn't sufficient
knowledge of culchaw and department.
He was faultlessly dressed, but that didn't
save him. Whether to take soup from the
side or from the end of spoon is mat.
ter of culture but whether to carry the
gloves with the fingers forward or with the
fingers back is a matter of culchaw
Everybody that is anybody knows all
about culture and department. but cul-
chaw and department include the little
niceties of manner and conduct about
which many people have great deal to
learn. Without culchaw and department
it is impossible to be a swell
THE WALK
A swell must walk at times, no matter
how many broughams and horses he NAV
have, and it is no more than proper to give
the walk precedence. The walk is an ac-
quirement man gets very early in life,
but he never begins to walk in the proper
way until he is proposed for membership
in a good club. This is the way: Legs
stiff, no elasticity; body well forward. NO
elasticity; head we'll back, no elasticity,
and steps about two and half feet long.
Of course there are variations. Going to
funeral the man about town should walk
briskly and as if he enjoyed it. Thereby
he demonstrates his perfect repose of man.
ner and shows that it is not influenced by
mere external circumstances. Going to a
wedding he should walk slowly and look
bored and thoroughly convinced that mar
riage is a failure.
In entering ballroom the walk NAV be
elaborated to almost any extent. A man
should wear his evening walk just as he
wears his evening clothes, for the occasion.
Then there are variations of the walk
aside from those of formality and stiffness.
The most noticeable of these is that en-
ployed when the expert walker walks with
"gel." When thus agreeably employed
he should invariably face her and walk
sideways like crab. This will at first be
found rather difficult, but practice makes
perfect, and the "gel'' who will not put up
with being stepped on a few times and
bumped with q pair of unaccustomed knees
few times has not a proper appreciation
of culchaw and department In walking
with the "gel'' the student should care
fully avoid keeping step. The step to-
gether is for common soldiers, convicts,
clerks going together to business and cads
who disregard culchaw and department.
Gentlemen never walk in step. 1t shows
too much generalization and thought, and
is not in keeping with the mental idleness
which should characterize a gentlemen.
IMPORTANCE OF THE BOW.
Walking having been considered, it is
now necessary to take up standing still
and sitting down. To describe these &C
complishments it is perhaps sufficient to
say that in standing the real swell should
look as though he would prefer to sit, and
in sitting he should convey the impression
that he would prefer to stand. If he does
this he can hardly fail to look sufficiently
bored.
Now comes the bow, a most useful &C
complishment, in fact the most useful one
in connection with culchaw and depawt-
ment A man of real culchaw should be
able to insult man grossly with his bow
Iac oh ole ho obi
to bow so that the bowee would not hest
tate about lending him 800 without secu-
rity. This bow is most difficult
All bows may be divided into two classes
the short bow without raising the hat,
which may be either insulting or pleasing,
and the long Lord Chesterfield bow for
gels" which may convey either mere
recognition or the deepest regard. For the
short bow merely snap the head If it is
| intended to be insulting the person to be
insulted should be looked at with a sort OF
| "By-Joye- I-don t-see- you-and I-don't-like-
| your-looks'' stare, and then the head
should be snapped very short.
| To please it should be moved slower and
| with a smile This can hardly fail to
| please. The long Lord Chesterfield bow is
much more laborious, but it is also much
| more impressive. TO accomplish 1t grasp
the hat firmly by the front of the rim;
| imagine fly about eighteen inches from
the tip of the nose and try to hit it with
| the crown of the hat; then smile as If in
exultation at having hit it, and as the hat
| is replaced look at the bowee for approba-
ton and appreciation of the dexterity dis
| played.
| CARRYING STICKS, GLOVES, ETC.
r Al L.
| dicated by the enthusiasm shown in hit
| ting at the fly 1t is well to practice in the
| mirror.
| Shaking hands is much less a part OF
culciaw and department than it once was.
| 1t is too much work Men don't do it very
much, and as rule when an acquaintance
offers to shake hands it is quite proper not
to see his hand and to merely bow. If it
is an undesirable acquaintance, look at his
| hand as though there was some doubt
| about its cleanliness or as though his
gloves were not in good taste, and then de
| liver the stony stare and short bow. 1t Is
sometimes necessary to shake hands. Fol-
| instance, prospective father-in-law may
| be an old timer and used to shaking hands
| If he is to be humored it should be done
daintily. The hand should be presented
on level with his upper shirt stud, and
| the motion of the shake should be straight
| up and down.
| Fewer well dressed and culchawed meI
carry walking sticks now than formerly
| If stick is carried it should not be walked
with. 1t should be light, but should i'm
| press the people that it Is heavy. and thai
| the man of culchaw is tired of carrying 1T
| 1t should hang head down and back prefer
ably in the left hand The gloves should
always be carried with the fingers forward
The few rudiments of culchaw and de
pawtment here given may seem trivial tt
| the uninitiated, but they are in reality i'm
portant and wholesome. They have helped
men into society. They have also got mer
| laughed at and dislikcd, but this is be
| lieved only by those ignorant persons who
| are envious because they have no knowl
edge of culchaw and depawtment.-Nev
| York Recorder.
| A New Branch.
People who wish to call attention t.
| their particular line of business, and han,
| out signs for this purpose, usually intent
| to make these SO explicit as to avoid an.
| possibility of being misunderstood The,
| sometimes signally fail
| An old gentleman from a distant tow
| in the west was walking about New Eng
| land city celebrated for the number ant
variety of its educational institutions
when he happened to see the sign: ''Stam
| mering Institute A Few Lessons Stuff