The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-26
BRIGHT BITS.

PHILADELPHIA GIRL-Dear me! My watch is
nearly an hour slow.
New York Girl-well, dear, that isn't much
Tor Philadelphia. --JeWelers' WeekLu
PRESIDENT HARRISON could not have hit upon
more subtle device for securing the universal
sympathy of the public than that of announcing
that he would return through st. Louis.-Cht.
cdoo Netcs.
II AM so happy" said the young housekeeper,
We haven't roach in the fat now"
How did you get rid of them?n
I'VE didn't do a thing. The ants drove them
out."-HGrper's Bazdr.
HANS who has torn his clothes badly getting
over fence)--0, dear what will mamma say
now? II had onlS cut my head open she
would only say, Just like you, you careless
boy. = Fltegende Blatter.
WHY should telephone girls-not all Of them,
OF course, but some of them-be so deaf to the
subscribers dialect and kindly-spoken Hello"
and so competent to report his little impatient
swear words Washington Post.
.'sEE that fellow. over there' He doesn't know
where he'll get his next meal"
You surprise me. He looks we'll to do
He is; but he doesn't know whether he'll
dine home or at the club. "-Brooklyn Life.
ANCIENT BEAU-Emma, | think you are charm
and heart?
Have you said this to my mother9"
why, yes, twenty years ago, but don't see
how you knew 1t. "-FIiegende Bldtter.
MASTER of the house to the newly engaged
maid of all Workable good notice; here
everything goes like clockwork We get IN at
G; we dine at Il, and at 10 we go to bed.
20, If that is all there is to do then am SIRE
am quite contented with the place. File
ge1lde Batter.
Why does she smile on me no more.
And why affect that mannish arr
She asked me not to stay to tea
She does not even seem to care
whether come, or go, or stay,
Or evenif cease to call
Alas learned the other day
She's interested in base ball
-Pttsburo Dispatch
WAITER" said the actor at the hotel table.
as the colored boy set the bread down, II can't
take that roll"
''whaffur, boss?" querted the surprised
darby.
Because, waiter" and he sighed, 'hecause
1t is too heavy for me- I'm farce comedian. !"
Detroit Free Press.
A MEDICAL JOURNAL bids us beware of red
stockings-they sometimes poison the blood
Anybody will tell you that black stockings
sometimes crock, and editors everywhere de-
clare that blue stockings frequently superin-
duce tired feeling. Perhaps after all. Jerry
Simpson has found the philosophy of the situs-
on.-Detrott Free Press.
WHEN the two sons of the Prince of Wales
were visiting South America, at a ball in Rio
Prince George was having a right good time
dancing with any of the pretty girls who took
his fancy. irrespective of their social position.
and neglecting the local big wigs, His elder
brother demonstrated with him You go and
sit down and whistle God save your grand
mother and let me alone" said Prince George
and went on enjoying himself after his own
fashionable.
JEALOUS YOUNG CLERGYMAN Ito lady whom he
has known but five minutes, and whose name he
did not catch)-Where do you attend divine
service madam?
Shell generally go from place to place with
my husband. We are seldom at the same church
two Sundays In succession.
q. Y. Clergyman-Ah. my dear lady let me
urge upon you the necessity of having some set
tied place of worship. Believe nue., there is
nothing so indispensable to your souls health.
She with dignity)-Are you aware, sir, that
you are addressing the wife of your bishop?-