davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
BRIGHT BITS.

SHE-Rum is the greatest evil Of the day.
He Undoubtedly. 1t has produced the tenn
perance orator.-LTe.
WHY should marriage be spoken Of as a ten
der tie when it is so tough that nothing but
death or divorce can cut it?-NeJ0 York LEDGER.
FASHION NorE.-There is nothing like having
a pull" Pull the ballet dress down far enough
and you have the ball dress. -Mtnnedpolts
Journal
MRS. SrRoNG-The great thing is-what you
are!
Her Pretty Niece-wrong, auntie; the great
thing is, what you wear.-Lffe.
THERE is fortune for the milliner who shall
devise bonnet that can be worn in any part OF
church and always present the trimmed side
TO the congregation TEXAS Siftfn0s.
FOND FATHER-Children, if the clock struck H.
what time would it be-
Logical LouIse-Two O'Clock, papa,
Clever Charlie-Tims to get the clock fixed.
THESE be The melancholy days
When down the leaves do drop,
Ard trees begin to show their limbs,
Just as the bathers stop.
Chicago Times.
THIS ONE-Do you know Miss Honeydew-
er-Dolly-you are the first girl 1 have ever
Dolly qncredulously) that's just what
they all say!-Ltfe.
MISS PAT1ENcE-Mr Langley don't you think
by that bank yonder?
Mr. Langley-Wait Miss Patience till we get
to larger drift-Kdte Fields Wdshinqton.
A BRIGHT September morn;
The earth was beautiful as if new born;
There was that nameless spleA Tor everywhere;
That wild exhiliration in the
Which makes the passers In the city street
Congratulate each other as they meet.
-LOngfeIloto.
FARMER WxNrHAR-Howd yer git red of all
them woodchucks n polarcats you he'd round
here?
Farmer Hollis-A city rooster come up here
an Parnt Johnny t. smoke cigareets last week
Judge.
FIGHTsoN-See that man in the elegant car
rageY When he came to this town ten years
ago he couldn't write his own name.
Runsway-And now?
'Served two terms, by George, SIR for for
geryr'-Chicago Tribune.
JONES (reading aloud)-"A true, good, noble
woman Is ever ready to make herself a door
mat for the man she loves" All,
Dolly, those are the women who make the best
wives.
Mrs. J. twho is not of this type)-Yes. dear,
and the worst husbands.-Plnch.
LUcuLLUs-What's the matter with you, old
fellarH
Damocles- Nothing, excepting the fact that
when eggs get as cheap as that and a chaps
got to play Hamlet in Saginaw tomorrow
night, it
Lucullus-Say no more, pardner. You have
my sympathy Life.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Witness the Watermelon.

The coroner was holding en- inquest, says the
Detroit Free Press. The facts brought out were
that the woman was carrying a large water
melon down the cellar when she fell the stairs,
broke the lamp. set the house on fire, and per-
ished with all the occupants save the one wit
ness
1.-The jurors may ask any questions of the wit
ness, " said the coroner.
You say she WIS carryin' er watuhmilon
down sulluh?" asked the colored juror
yes"
WAS it er big watuhmilon?"
Ives, a very big one."
Good an ripef'
yes"
How do you know dat?'' u
1--WE had plugged it,
How did dat million look inside2'
Very fresh and a beautiful pinkish red"
'Youah honah." said the juror. "ef dat
watuhmilon kin be brought inter court kin tell
wedder dis witness am er man OBJ troof an
veracerty."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
INDEX TO INV ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGs-The Defendants in the Millel
Electment Cases; Southern Mutual Loan Asso
citation; Savannah Castle No. 6. X. G. E.
Ancient Landmark Lodge No. 231, F. and A NJ.
The Southover Land and improvement Com
pany Catholic Library Association.
SPECIAL NoTIcEs-Public School Text Books
w. H Baker. Superintendent; To the Stock
holders of the Chatham Real Estate and I'm
provement Company; Notice, D. B. Hull, Agent
Steamer Progress; Chatham Real Estate
and improvement Company Notice; The South
over Land and Improvement Company; Return
of DR.. l. n. Wells, Dentist.
MILITARY ORDkRs-Order No. 90, Savannah
Cadets.
AMusEMExrs-Base Ball To-day, Chathams vs.
Mutuals.
DIRECT IMPoRTATIoN-B. II. Levy Il Bro.
OUR HosP1TAL-The Savannah Carriage and
Wagon Company
RAILROAD ScHEDULE-The Central Railroad Of
Georgia.
LBsAL characterization from the Clerk of
The Court of Ordinary OF Chatham county;
Notice to Debtors and Creditors.
AUCTION SALEs-Carpets, etc, by J. J. Open
helm; Administrators Sale by R. H. Tatem;
AID illustrators Sale by R. d. LaRoche & Co.;
Administrator Sale by J. Mclaughlin &
Son.
STEAMSHIP ScHEDULE-Baltimore Steamship
Company.
LEGAL SALEs-City Court Sheriff s Sale.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted. Employment Wanted, For Rent, Eos
Sale, Lost, Personal, Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Between Two Forces.

A man who got on a Myrtle avenue surface
car in Brooklyn at Fulton ferry the other day
had gone only two squares when he got up and
signaled the conductor to stop, says NJ. Quad
IN the New York Euentng World. The car
stopped but he resumed his seat and the con
ductor rang the bell to 90 ahead. In about five
minutes the performance was repeated and then
it was seen that the passenger was in that con
dition known as sprung When he stood up for
the third time the conductor asked
is this where you want TO get off?' e.
'Yesh."
AL right, then"
NO 1 guesh won't git off, j" said the man as
he resested himself
Two squares further on he stood up and sig
nailed for the fourth time.
'See herer' said the conductor as he went
forward, what kind Of game are you play
ing?"
''Noz any game, thickly replied the man.
DO you want TO get of p
"Yesh,"
well, here you 60"
mo, guesh won't get off ~
What's the matter with you, anyhow"
"Shee herer whispered the man in conf
dence and trying to hug the conductor at the
same time When think of home I git up
an stop 'er car. Then when think of my wife
wave my hand for car TO go on again You
shee. Plain as day. wave-car goes on. Let
'er GO"
The conductor carried him to the city line and
left him lying in the shade.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Not as Bad as he Thought.

There is a good story told of the late arch
Times. In his latter years the good arch
bishop had the idea that he was suffering from
incipient paralysis and was always fancying
that he detected more or less of numbness in
his limbs. On one occasion he was at a dinner
party and it was noticed that he was quite
silent for awhile and looked grave. At the
same time it was observed that the lady at his
right-hand side was blushing deeply. At last
his grace said in a lamentable voice:
My worst fears are realized; there can be no
longer any doubt of it,"
'Of whatG" asked the sympathetic hostess
THAT paralysis has taken hold of me"
answered the archbishop. II am sure of it.
have been pinching my right knee for several
minutes and can not feel the least sensation. -
II hope it is not so bad as you think" she
said; lit was my knee you were pinching."
silk dress feels very like a silk apron, hence
the archbishops mistake.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
MEDICAL
HEALTH IS WEALTH |

Dr. f G. VESTS NERVE AND BRArv ra
HEFT, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria. d.
ness, Commissions, Fits. Nervous Nenrs IieA'
Headache, Nervous Prostitution caused by the -
preston, Softening OF the Brain, resntin Us
sanity and Leading TO misery. decay and daat ~
Premature Old Age. BarrennesS, Loss of pan,
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and SperDno1se
orrhoea caused oy overexertion of the brain 1H1s
abuse or over-indulgence. Each boy cor ,sel-
one month g treatment. 81 90 box or sir bons
for IS 90 sent ny mail prepaid on recent ~ 1es
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES oe'
To cure any case. With each order rec4ivsJ b.,
US Tor six boxes, accompanied with IS O0 wa
Wln send the purchaser our written enara1rtas
TO refund the money IL the treatment does 80
effect cure. Guarantees issued only bv TIL
HEIDI DRUG co. Sole Agents. SaysnDsh 6 20
For Chatting, Prickly Heat, use Boracine Toiiss
Powder. % cents. A0Ass
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

The MORNING NEWS is on file at the tolo~lng
,,soas where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be oosaineo'
NEW YORK CITY
J. H BATES. IS Park Row.
9. p RowxLL & Co., 10 Spruce street.
w. ". SHARP & Co.. 81 Park Row.
FRANK KIEREAS & Co., 162 Broadway.
DAUcHY & Co., q Park Place
J. W. THOMPSON, SO Park ROW. -
AHER1cAE NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION,
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA
n. W. AYER SoS, Times Building.
BOSTON
q. r. NuLEs. 25s Washington street.
PErTKNGILL & Co., 10 State street.
CHICAGO
LoRD a THOMAS. Is Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
EDWIN ALDEN COMPANY, 66 West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN
TIE H. P. HUBBARD COMPANY, Is Elm street.
ST LOUIS
NELSON CHEsMAN & Co.. 1877 Pine street
ATLANTA
MORNING News BUREAU, 81 Whitehall street.
MACON
DAnY THLEaRAPH OFF1cE 597 Mulberry street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

SAYS st. Louis insurance agent: IAN acct
dent like that in Park Place. New York. always
causes a big rush for insurance and accident
policies. l can't imagine what the effect must
have been in New YORK, for even at this dis
lance it has more than doubled the number of
applications for policies IL was the same after
the Johnstovn flood and after the cyclone dis
aster at Louisville. Statistics prove that q
mans chances of being run over in the street
are ten times greater than of his being crushed
in a railroad collision, or killed in what is gen
orally described as an appalling disaster. At
the same time, familiarity with the causes of
accidental death, as reported in the daily papers
in every edition, breeds the usual contempt,
and it takes huge disaster to remind men, and
particularly fathers of families, OF the risks
they are constantly running"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Registered at the Postoeice in Savannah.


The MoRSING NEWS is published every day IN
the year, and is served to subscribers in the city
at y cents week, s. 90 month, s. 90 for six
months and so 20 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS. bu mail. one month,
81 90; three months, 50 30; six months, IS 90;
one year, SO 90.
The MoRSINe NEWS, By mail, six times week
without Sunday issue, three months, 81 o.
nix months, 81 o.: one Sear, IS 90.
The MoRSING NEws, Tri-Weekly, Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
DAYS and SATURDAYS, three months, 81 Is; SIX
months, 81 so; one year, IS 90.
The SUNDAY NEWS, By mail. one year, Y ~
The WEEKLY NEWS, by mail one year, u -.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit oy
postal order, check or registered letter Cur
rency sent by mail at risk OF senders. ,-..,,
Letters and kilograms should Dc ANN'
"HoRSING NEWS" Savannah, Ga -, o,ial
Transient advertisements othe, tasn s spv,e-
column. local or reading notices, an,a
rents and cheap or want column ~ CENTS
hne Fourteen lines OF agate JP 9ssnda1d of
one inch space in depths the sla1 Mounts
measurement Contract rates ana uI Sstn.
made known on application at business onloe.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

WHEN q man marries in France he becomes
legally responsible not alone for the support of
his wife, but for the support of her parents.
should they become destitute. This law is
older than the divorce law, and there seems to
be some defect in the provisions of the latter
A few weeks ago young husband who had
been divorced some time previously, received a
demand from his ex-mother-in-law for the
allowed her. He naturally demurred, con-
tending that as he was rid of his
wife the law would surely not continue to sad
die his mother-inlaw upon him. But the Paris
court where the mother-in-law carried the case,
told the young man that the code was unmis.
taxable, and he would.have To continue to sup
port his ex-wife's mother He appealed to
another court. which last week reversed the
judgment Of the lower court.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Gays the Colonel to the Elder.
From the Ne,o York Advertiser (1ndl.

from the Nei0 York Aduertiser lInd0.
The Mail and Express, IN an able editorial
on Enumerated and Non-Enumerated Asses
1903, as follows:
As 10 the unenumerated asses why were
they not included also, The statistics are incom-
plete. -
Brother Shepard ls justly indignant at what
seems a show OF favoritism ia emitting 20
enumerate the wild ass at large in this city, re-
ferred 10 by JOB xxxiz, 5.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

What surprise party TO the world at
large has been the results of the
Chilean revolution. But the strangest
part of the whole affair is that the
foreign ministers resident are apparent
ly the most surprised at result which had
long ago been discounted by newspapers
that had no source of Information other
than well disciplined faculty for putting
two and two together and obser wing the
consequences. To ali outward appearances
the resident diplomats had formed sort Of
trust in Ignorance. Surely it could not
have been individual interest that actuated
them 80 uniformly. Such thing is not 20
be even guessed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Gamblers out west will hereafter need be
a pretty durable article. or they will not
last long if many of them should tackle
young farmers like the one who was re-
Gently feeced on an Illinois train and then
proceeded to get the worth of his money
out of that sbarper's hide by smashing his
teeth down his throat aud laying him out in
tidy shape. It was about all the sharks
could do to get away with their clothes on.
Apparently card-sharping is growing labo-
riOus
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
More Kentucky Colonies.
From the Missouri Republic { Dem,

ETUWt
Hon. John Young Brown, the new governor of
Kentucky, is a good man aud a handsome man.
He will presently make some more Kentucky
colonies, and when be does we trust he will Sc
lect for promotion only those who dissent from
Col Watersons views that Kentucky colonel
may consistently swear like pirate if be feels
like it. We want to see all Kentucky colonies
elevated 20 the level of civilization. which is oc-
cupIed by Missouri colonies in good standing.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Patriotism in Hayti is not to be monopo-
lized by the black ruler thereof. Aspirant
Legitime ia now busily engaged in hustling
for the brunette head of the republic.
Within few days the anticipated revo-
luton viii probably be revolving at full
speed. So will some OF the patriots.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
What Hurts the Hub.

From the Boston advertiser (Rep).
About this time of the year the local humorist
represents the city resident suffering unwill-
ingly from the visit of the rural relatives with
whom he had been boarding all summer. Boston
citizens, however, are suffering from the unwei-
come visits of black ants, and the latter are
more real and tangible than the mythical visits
of the COUNTY, cousins.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
She Should "Fix" Her own Status

From the Baltimore American (Repl
The notorious Eva Hamilton has gone on the
stage, and she declares that the only obstacle to
her success is that she cannot fig the news
paper critics In this, however. she is mistaken.
She can easily fix them by getting of the stage
and staying of.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Trading upon the official position of his
father appears to have been the principal
object of Mr. Russell Harrison ever since the
great heir to the ancient hat first got into the
presidential chair. That he should be
'surned down" occasionally is only proper
and necessary 20 his mental health.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Not satisfied with simply and silently pay
ing the freight, Jones spouts nowadays
with more or less force and vigor against all
of his rivals for the governorship of New
York. But Jones. he especially wants Mr..
Dave Hill to keep his fingers off the political
scales, as it we're.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
"Tell EN- to Stop. "
From the CHICAGO Mail (Ind. J

From the CHICAGO Mol (Ind)
Public sentiment will sustain those women re-
vivalists at Kingston, Ont, who built a bonfire
near church the other day and threw their
corsets into the blaze, but when they adopt as
their platform, 1--WE will live and die as God
made us. " il Is high Time to call a halt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Do~n in Tennessee the legislators seem to
Indulge II the passing of the lie just as if it
were ins passing of the pie. That is certain
ly very bad parliamentary usage. Besides,
st dlscloses a total lack of argument on the
part Of the dsbater. Statesmen who canno t
even govern their own tempers can scarcely
be trusted to make well balanced laws for
the state
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

What has long been anticipated from the
"ocean flyers" Is beginning to be seen. To
start with it CHANGED to be only tug that
was ruu down by an outgoing racer" at
New YORK Only one life was lost in the
EtrurlA blunder. But an excursion boat
would probably have shared the same fate.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
CURRENT COMMENT.
A Great Naval Scandal.

From the Net0 York Times tDenl).
The naval administration of Mr. Harrison,
which at one time gave such promise of good
works, will pass into history under the shadow
of a scandal OF its own creation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Why Lawyer McDOugall should have be-
come so engrossed in the welfare of Mrs.
Mayhrick is almost as inexplicable as the
peculiar course Of the presiding Judge and
the home secretary in condemnlng the
woman for an offense for which she had not
been tried. II is a singular case.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
ORR NEW YoRK OFFICE.

MALI. FLYNN, Genera! Advertising Agent
Of the Morning NEWS, office ~ fArA row
New York. All advertising business ou'Siuo "a
aha s,.tes of Georgia. Florida and South Caro-
lima vii be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Gradually Secretary Proctor has come
pretty near resigning with SO much Of con-
siderate elaboration as not to shock the
country. This serial resignation has spread
itself over 50 much territory as to almost
reach the end Of the secretarys term.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08
Cotton Mills in the south.

Southerners who have studied the annual
report of the secretary Of the New Orleans
Cotton Exchange, published few days ago,
ara gratifed with the evidences of the in
crease of cotton manufacturing in the
south. There are now $40 cotton mills in
the southern statss, and in many Of them
there has been very great increase in tn Q
number of spindles within the last year.
The increase in the amount Of cotton con-
sumed, however. shows more clearly than
anything else the increase in the manufacture
of cotton goods in the south. The total
consumption last year was 10 per cent.
greater than that of the previous year.
This increase indicates that cotton manu-
featuring in the south pays, and justifies the
conclusion that the time is not distant when
a very large part of the cotton crop of the
south will he manufactured within her limits.
Indeed the expectation that the south will
become great manufacturing section is
not at all extravagant. In his report Secre-
tary Hester saws that in each of several
southern states there is larger amount of
cotton goods manufactured than there was
in the whole south ten years ago.
New plants for manufacturing cotton
goods are being established all the time.
And about all of them prove to be profita-
BILE properties. The few mills which do not
pay are not, as general thing, wisely man
aged. With anything like good manage
ment cotton mills pay handsomely in any
J part of the south.
l The mill in this city is so successful that
| it has led to the establishment of a knitting
! mill, aud there is a movement to erect a
very large cotton mill. In nearly all the
southern cities, and particularly in the in
terror towns, there is a very decided ten
dency toward the establishing of cotton
manufacturing plants
And the reason Of this is plain. Cotton
goods can be manufactured more cheaply in
the south than in any other part of the
country. There is plcnty Of good material
out of which to make operatives, and the
climate and other things are favorable to
cheap living. Aud the cotton can be OBJ.
tanned at much less cost than in Europe or
in the northern states of this country.
Every possible encouragement ought to
be given manufacturing by the southern
people When they manufacture the bulk
Of the iron from their mines and cotton
from their fields they will be the richest
people in the world.
When the Hon. "Web" Flanagan
gets the operating force of his fiue
Texas custom house at FL Paso in
"full" accord and ready for BUSH
ness the watchword will probably be passed
around in the nature of an inquiry as to
"What are we here for!" or words to that of.
feet. Judging from common report of
"Web" and his favorite followers the most
lively response would be "Blessd if l
know" All the same web" aad his
workers will now shout for Harrison on and
after this date.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

Myriads of red spiders are the latest
plague to agriculturis is. They are attack
ing California crops with rather disastrous
results. They are said to have first made
their appearance Immediately after very
hot season. In size the spiders are described
to be almost infiuitesimal and red in color.
But millions and billions of them cover the
ground with a thin web. They seem to at
tack the eastern side of the trees. where the
foliage is thickest. the most. They lay their
eggs all over the leaves, and when the eggs
begin to hatch the juice of the leaf begins to
disappear. No holes are eaten In the body
of the leaf. But the young spiders seem TO
draw the juice out H. o. Williams, who
is a prominent fruit grower at Lodi.
said in an interview: II have ex-
amined the spider eggs under the
microscope and could see hundreds Of them
on leaf The spiders themselves are not
hard to kill, but it seems almost impossible
to destroy the eggs. The insects multiply
very rapidly. 1 have tried paris green,
and patented wash on the trees, but the
stuff did not seem TO affect the eggs, for
they Matched just the same. l tried lime
water for few days, and that seemed to
kill some Of the eggs, but l was afraid of
getting the mixture too strong and injur-
ing the trees. Spiders are the natural enc
mics of almond trees, but out our way they
seem to attack everything. They are even
destroying the peanut vines Of a neighbor
Of mine. have twenty acres of almonds
that they have already ruined completely"
Notwithstanding the prevalence of red wine
in the California valley this story is re-
garded as worthy OF full credence.
Every animal in the European menagerie
Of nations is now beginning to snarl
viciously. Whether it is uniform diplo-
matic blufllng, or genuine bad blood, it is
pretty hard to tell at glance. But the pro-
vision market doesn't seem to offer much
encouragement to the warriors bold. "Was
ever Tartar fierce and cruel upon the
strength of water Cruel Z" Well, hardly
There has been so much dissatisfaction
expressed with the large brown seal on
various Issues Of United States currency
that the department has practically con-
cluded 70 use hereafter on all paper money
issued by the government the small carmine
seal now used solely on national bank notes.
So another grave seal dispute is satisfac-
torily settled.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-09-08

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