davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
Soeva'crIes,

Il aconaan acho can see.
She's the woman who gets well:
It's the woman who aco'at see and
won't believe who has to suffer.
And it's needless. There's
medicine-a legitimate medicine -
that's made to stop woman's sui
fering and cure woman's ailments.
It's DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton. It's purely vegetable and
perfectly harmless "a powerful
general, as we'll as uterine, tonic
and nervine, imparting vigor and
strength to the whole system. For
periodical pains, weak back, bearing
down sensations, nervous prostra-
ton, and all female complaints"
it's positive remedy. 1t improves
digestion, enriches the blood, dispels
aches and pains, melancholy and
nervousness, brings refreshing sleep,
and restores health and strength.
No other medicine for women is
guaranteed, as this is. If it fails to
give satisfaction, in any case, the
money paid for it is refunded. You
pay only for the good you get. On
these terms it's the cheapest.
But more than that, it's the best.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
Perfectly Successful.

A Chinese physician having adver'
tised that he had an infallible remedy
for curvature of the spine, hunch-
back applied to him and asked him II
he could straighten his back. The
doctor undertook to do so, and placed
the unfortunate patient on his back on
a fiat board He then placed similar
board on his chest and abdomen and
loaded it with weights and stones.
The result of this novel surgery was
that the patient Strengthened out SC
well that he died on the spot. The
quack claimed his fees on the ground
that he had kept his promise; the bar
gain was that he should straighten his
patients back; nothing had been said
about his life!-Chicago Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
A STRUCTURE OF HYPOCRISY.
Frailty of the New York Republican Plat
form.

No finer whited sepulcher in words
was ever built than the republican plat
form framed at Rochester, and put
forth as summary of the performances
of the party in the past, a statement of
its promises for the future. Against
it, in contradiction of its truthfulness,
plank by plank and line by line, fact
after fact arises until the whole long
and wearisome document becomes a
challenge to the intelligence of the
people of this state, a cynical assump-
ton that the voters of New York, as
Thomas Carlyle said of the American
people, are mostly FOOLS
On the tariff the platform commends
Mckinleyism for the creation of new
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
PENELOPE'S INGENUITY.
A New Scheme for Getting damon,
Ring.


New Scheme for Getting Diamond
Ring.
Papa" said Penelope. turning from
the piano, with pretty blush playing
on her checks, ''do you think l am too
young to be e-e-engaged?'
''Of course L do" growled her father
''now, who in the world has put the idea
of marriage into your head? What's
his name?"
so he hasn't asked me yet, but-well,
you know
Yes, | know all about it, and l warn
him that he'll know more about it if he
comes fooling around you any more.
Now, what do you want to think about
such a thing as that for, Nellie?
Haven't you the best home in the
world?"
80 yes, papa; but it would be awfully
nice to be engaged, | think"
"How nice?"
so nice to have young man coming
to see you every evening"
''Humph! I'd like to catch him COM
ing to see you every evening"
And it would be nice to have pref
ty diamond ring
Haven't you enough rings?"
We'll haven't solitaire"
stPen," said her father, seriously, 'sif
I buy you solitaire ring will you
promise faithfully to give up all
thoughts of this young man?"
Yes, papa" she answered.
Every well, then; remember your
promise. You shall have the ring to-
morrow, although it's sad piece of
extravaganza" groaned the old gentle
man, walking painfully out of the
room.
WELL" said Penlope to herself, as the
sound of his retreating footsteps died
away, II may not be very smart, but l
think that's the easiest way to get a
diamond ring I've heard of yet. l must
tell the other girls. Tom Hall, in Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
That was Different.

Mistah Johnsing-Say, you wufiiess
white trash, did you frow dat brick at
my head?
Snodgrass-No, sir: I merely propelled
it in the direction of your Uranium
Mistah Johnsing (mollified)- dat's
all right, sah.-Puck-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
PITH AND POINT.

Most of the things lenged for by
men have no existence.-Boston Globe.
Don't give the able bodied tramp
who refuses to work cold bite. Let
the dog do it.
The new process of photographing
in natural colors will please everyone
but the girl with freckles on her nose.
We have noticed that the boys who
are great to ''cut up are always invited
when there is party.-Atchison Globe.
-Kidlets-''Do you suppose your sis
ter would marry me?" Dick Hicks-"I
guess so; she amt very bright. IN. Y.
Herald.
"A woman's scorn is something not
to be trif1ed with. Especially when you
step on it in a crowded horse-car.-
RAMS Horn.
A mans reputation is what his
friends say about him. His character
is what his enemies say about him.
Galveston News
Cora (proudly)-''My new lover
Mr.. Jimpson has stage air, hasn't
hep" Dora-''Yes, papa says he used
to drive one. Epoch.
people LOOK dU tu1ISS
spectacles, while others through the
bottoms of ordinary, every day glasses.
Jewellers Circular.
There is one benefit to be derived
from brilliant meteoric display. PEG.
pie don't have to look out for the stick
Rochester Post-Express.
-''Maude looks something like Chap
pie-don't you think sop HIM! Well,
perhaps; but Maude is more masculine
than he is in appearance. Truth.
What makes that man Jump and
look scared every time he hears a horse
car bell ring?' ''Well. you see, he
married his typewriter. IN. Y. Jour
nal.
The difference between realism and
idealism is just the difference between
a girls opinion of her lover and the
young man himself-Somerville Jour
nal.
Where are you going, my pretty
maid ?" Going to cooking-school, SIR
she said. Can l go with you, my
pretty maid ?" 1--WE don't cook veal
to-day" she said.-N. Y. Herald.
And l am going to do all the cook
LIZ HyS ClI. l. ike your lucas Oh
economy, Maud; but in that case don't
you think we'd better take down that
motto: Eat, Drink and Be Merry q"
However much superior minds may
deplore the pettiness of mans achieve
ments, we should not loose sight of the
cheering fact that man has, at least,
achieved as much as any one else
Puck.
-Tom-"What, going back to the
city ?" Ned-''Yes, but l return to-
morrow. I've got to go up and replen-
ish my supply of engagement rings
I've only three left, and six new girls
are coming down tomorrow "'-Boston
News.
And your aunt didn't leave you
anything after all?'' Not cent. She
overheard me call her an old cat short
time before her death" "How did she
leave her money!" ''She left it to found
an institution for the care of homeless
cats. IN. Y. Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24
Savings Banks for Girls.

There is a splendid institution in
Germany that might be well initiated
here On the birth of a daughter Teu-
tonic parents in moderate circum-
stances can insure the little one in a
certain institution for sum that will
give the child on the completion OF
her eighteenth year a small capital
with which to start in life, so as to
enable her to follow a profession or
finish her studies, as she shall desire.
or if neither be to her taste, the sum
will enable her to marry we'll. OF
course the parents pay fixed annual
premium to the company. which in
vests the stipulated sum in securities,
real estate, etc, and it sees to it that
the investments either yield fair in
terest. which is compounded, or that
the real estate increases in value, SO
that by the time the girl arrives at
years of discretion, she may find Eer-
self mistress of snug little fund so
that she may be enabled to get on
without the assistance of her parents,
to whom the comparatively light pre-
MUM scarcely proved burden.-De-
troit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-09-24


But the elements of the gubernatorial
race will develop more rapidly when
Gov. Francis shall have convened the
legislature in special session for the
purpose of reforming the congressional
districts under the apportionment act.
The effort will be made to .get fifteen
new districts out of the old fourteen,
and politicians will be anxiously watch
ing the clash of individual interests.
1t is said that majority of the present
members of congress favor main
tenance of the present district boun-
diaries until the next regular ses-
sion of the general assem- bly,, providing
in the meantime for the election of the
additional congressman-at-larg
There is opposition to this idea, how
ever, on the ground that the man who
ran for congressman-at-large would
necessarily have to make more ex-
tensive campaign than a candidate for
United States senator, and would after
ward have but two years of office.
And again, the prospective candidate
for congress in the various counties
want the boundaries determined at the
earliest possible moment, as upon the
candidacy of a large proportion OF
them. 1t is this latter fact which is
rendering many of the democratic
statesmen and politicians q trife anx-
ious and imnatient
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10

~Yes, it is quite true" said Mauds
calmly, land I hope You will not make
yourself uneasy about me in the matter.
Indeed, to put an end to this scene.
which is really getting very tiresome.
may as well tell you all that 1 have ac-
cepted Mr.. Morgan and shall be mar
ried in six weeks. PerhapS,' she added
smilingly. eve can arrange for a double
wedding"
Nc one made any reply, and Mrs.
Langdon concluded to faint-a difficult
feat which she accomplished with signal
gracefulness.
Maude promptly applied her salts,
and with success. Il am really de-
lighted" she murmured on recovering,
''for to tell the truth, Maude, you were
much too old for Atlee. and Morgan is
immensely rich. Winnie and Atlee, of
course, you have behaved badly, and
all that sort of thing, but forgive you
and bless you'll"
The two culprits dutifully thanked
her, and tried to look as if they were
sorry for their wrong-doing. but failed
lamentably. They knew well enough
they had been playing with edged
TOOLS" but then they had escaped with
out q scratch.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10
AamOur Plates.

In discussing the relative value OF
competing nrmor plating for ships of
war, The English Mechanic and
World of Science says:
The results of the armor plate COM
petition just decided in America are
very surprising. The Cammell COM
pound plate is said to have been de-
stroyed by being fired at by six-inch
gun. The thickness of the plate was
ten and half incnes.
A French nickel-steel plate, contain
ing three and half per cent. of nickel,
is said to have resisted marvelously.
Until further details are to hand, the
failure of the compound plate will have
to remain mystery, as a plate of SINH
lar thickness tested with a ten-inch
gun on the Nettle by our own authori-
ties give astonishingly good results,
better than had ever been attained by
any French or other firm. so that the
failure now reported is the more sur
prising.
The tests have been continued with
the eight-inch gun, firing 210-pound
projectile. The results seem to prove
the superiority of the steel plates. The
shell cracked the Creusot all-steel
plate, the projectile being broken into
three pieces; the projectile penetrated
the nickle-steel plate, which remained
intact, the projectile remaining in the
hole; and the Cammell compound
plate was smashed. almost the whole OF
its three-inch steel plating being car
ried away from the iron backing, the
proiectile going through the iron back
ing and the oak supports, and then
through twelve feet of nodded earth be-
hind. These tests will cause the Navy
Department to adopt nickel-steel armor
for the new battleships.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10

better than that; I was found Just
where God had placed me-" The
childish pride was as amusing as II was
pathetic.
The years have gone by, the eyes Of
the good mother are closed forever to
the sights of this world; but the child
she cared for lives in the great town Of
London, and remembers; and when
the mother of John Halifax, Gentle
man." and of this girl stands before
Almighty God, don't you think that He
will say-'sAs We have done unto the
least of these, so will / unto you. -
ladies' Home journal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10

had been passed In tears. Mrs. Lang
don and Maude were already dressed
and waiting.
-Is Atlee coming with us, Maude?"
asked Mrs. Langdon.
Il really know nothing of his plans,
was the reply.
Every odd and provoking; it is after
ten now"
Perhaps Winnie can inform Us"
suggested Maude.
Il do not know. 1 did not hear him
say" faltered poor Winnie, her face
flushing painfully.
IF you will excuse me, Jennie" said
Maude, abruptly, II will not go this
evening""
"And pray what has caused you 20
change your mind so suddenly? Do
you fear it will be dull without Atlee ?"
inquired Mrs. Langdon.
A little disdainful smile curled
Maude's thin lips, but she made no
other reply. Mrs. Langdon fretfully
babe Winnie put on her wrap, and
swept with much dignity from the
room.
After they left, Maude lowered the
lights until the drawing-room was in
complete obscurity, except for the IN
certain light of wood-fre, and then
she laid down upon the sofa in the bay
window. Suddenly there was a loud,
impatient ring at the bell. The draw
ing-room door was opened unceremoni-
ously and Atlee entered without re-
moving hat or overcoat; he was wet
with spray and the heavy mist, and car
ried riding-whip in his hand. He
stood for some moments gazing moodily
into the fire, and then, with q heavy,
impatient sigh, turned to leave the
room. At that moment there came the
sound of suppressed sob from the
bay-window. He went quickly to the
window, and could see indistinctly the
form of woman lying on the sofa.
Winnie, darling, is it you2" he MUIR
INJURED, approaching the sofa.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10
Wealth Inside a Statue.

Pygmalion, the ancient artist, could
not be more overjoyed when his statue
became transformed into lovely woman
than the heirs of the late Nine. Artaud,
who recently died in Paris, when they dis
covered considerable fortune carefully
hidden away in the interior of a COM
mon plaster OF paris reproduction of the
famous Venus of Milo. The history of
the sudden find is curious and enter
tanning, says Paris letter to the Lon
don Telegraph. Nine. Artaud died
without making will, and, as she had
no notary, her children and grandchil-
dren appealed to financial adviser of
of the deceased, who used occasionally
to put her money out in stock exchange
speculations That the old lady had
left fair share of lucre was certain,
and as not silver or bank-note could
be found anywhere in her room the
heirs came to the natural conclusion
that the financial agent must have been
entrusted by Nine. Artaud with her
money before she made her exit
from the world. The agent de-
clared in the most positive man
ueI GudG u0 udu r0C6lf6Q uOIu1nB
for long time from Nine. Artaud,
who, feeling her end at hand, gave up
bourse speculations.
This did not satisfy the heirs, who
plumrf -ecused the agent of having
appref ed what did not belong to
him, but as they had no proofs against
him they were unable to begin legal
proceedings. They accordingly set to
work to divide the furniture and general
belongings of the deceased between
them. The dining-room and salon
chairs, tables, and trappings were in
empire style, and worth from $500 to
94O0, but as it would be impossible to
obtain more than half their value the
discomfort among the heirs increased.
A lottery of the effects having been or
ganized, an old statue representing the
goddess of love fell to one of the daugh
tiers of the deceased, who was about to
break it with vexation, when one of her
relatives proposed to examine it to see
if by chance it were rare work of art.
The base of the statue was covered over
underneath with Uil-cloth, and when
the covering was removed out tumbled
a choics collection of bank-notes, bonds,
securities, and obligations, the whole
amounting III value to $4,000. The
plaster of paris Venus will be piously
preserved by the family now as an en-
blem of luck and happy heirloom.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10

But nevertheless be stepped . little
back into the room as he spoke. At
the same instant Maude entered. Fol-
lowing her came . pretty, showy-look-
ing woman, seemingly about Maude's
age.
How is this, naughty VIM" she
asked in a sweet, drawing voice, you
won't go with us?"
mo, thank you very much, cousin
Jen; 1 am rather in the humor for a
walk and shall go down to the sands.
"As you please, dear; but drive this
lovely day would do you good"
Il am not looking i'll, am II" laughed
Winnie.
"a little pale, perhaps" said Mrs.
Langdon, touching the round cheek
with her finger.
"You had much better go with US,
said Maude, whose eyes had not left
Atlee's face since she entered the room ;
but if You persist in refusing L think
Atlee had better go with you"
Many thanks; would rather go
alone if you don't mind"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10
TaE STRANGERS MARK.
BY THERON BROWN.

Dead in the rush of wheels and feet,
BE had no friend and no enc knew him
warrant, on the roaring street
He dropped as IL the lighting slew him.
Poor wreck upon LIES ocean shore.
Mems hands remov ed him, half with Ioath1n(
They laid him on the station floor
And roughly searched his ragged clothing.
No name. no teIl-tnIe sign or link.
Nor coin nor scrap with hint or story
But on his right 8rn. pT1cked IN INK,
Showed sorrows psle RsnlecHto mort
A tombstore-on one side a man
Who wept-a willow on the other;
And plain the printed legend ran
Beneath, I'm memory Of my mother"
The tender item, told and read
In the great dailies of the city,
Brought curious ewes TO view the dc
And one amRrieGn TO pity.
He had mother whom he loved,
And so had l. he said with feeling;
%Whateer his frailties, death has prove
His virtue in that one revealing.
For him no Potter's Field unblest-
A saint who knows2 in beggar's raiment--
But in Gods acre, fifty dressed,
Lay hin-and look TO me for payment"
And fair the pauper's funeral was,
With solemn ritual served and spoken.
And grave III holy ground-because
His body bore one sacred token.
o charm that strangers turns to friends,
Unconscious worth this humble seeming!
A love that erring souls defend
With witness of one trait redeeming!
Full many q stray in earth's dark wild,
When death TO clearer light has won him,
Kind Heaven VIII welcome as child
Because the mark of home is on him.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10
A Travellers story from Alaska.

An adventurous individual, who was
with Stanley in Africa some years ago
and has lately returned from an explor-
alton in Alaska, tells rather marvellous
story of that distant part of Uncle
Sans domain. He accompanied an ex-
pedition that went into the interior of
Alaska, beyond the Mount st. Elias
Range, through the Chilcat Pass, the
only route yet known to Americans.
The party pushed on through glaciers
and ice fields for full fifty miles, and
then, according to this individuals ac-
count emerged into delightfully."- green
and fertile region, where rich meadows
stretched away as far as the eve could
see.
After travelling along way through
this pleasant country the Yukon River
was reached, and here the party divided.
one half returning homeward via the
Youkon, while the other sailed down
the Alsech River to the ocean. This
latter detachment the person who re-
lates the story accompanied. So peril
GUS and difficult was the navigation that
it required ten days to make fifty miles.
The explorer maintains that interior
Alaska has great possibilities as graz
ing and mining region. One obstacle
to its development has been its mac
feasibility. Chilcat Pass will answer
for small exploring parties, but it is too
difficult for the purposes of commerce.
This explorer, however, insists that
he has discovered new and easy route
to the interior, by means of which
thousands of acres of meadow and
mineral land may be Immediately
opened to settlement. Time will de-
termine how much there is of truth in
this strange story, and how much that
that is extravagant. At present tmust
be confessed that it bears an unfortu-
nate resemblance to those spochrYphal
tales current twenty or thirty years ago
relative to the rich and verdurous ex-
panse by which the North Pole was said
to be surrounded.-GlO Democrat
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10
The story of an Authors Child.

Every woman in the land has bowed
down before John Halifax, Gentleman; =
but how many know much of the life of
the woman whose brein-child he was
There is in it a little romance that am
sure many will like to hear. Married
to a gentleman who was a cripple, Mrs.
Muloch Craik lived an idyllic life at a
beautiful country home, a few miles
from a county town. She heard one
day, quite incidentally, that baby had
been found on a stone at the cross
roads, that it had been taken to the
Town Hall, and that all the gentry
about were going to look at it, because
it was such a sweet, little child. So,
following the example of her neighbors,
she went too. Looking up into the
sweet, sympathetic face of the famed
authoress, the little baby smiled, and
put out its wee hands.
Dinah Muloch Craik could not resist
this, and so she determined to take the
child for her very own. Quickly it
was wrapped up, and it became her
baby. Devoted to it, she was yet de-
termined, as it grew older, it should
never have its heart hurt by being told
the story of its birth and adoption; so,
as soon as the little girl was able to I'M
derstand, it was lovingly whispered
to her that she had been found on the
large stone which stood In the center of
the Hall, and which always was deco
rated with flowers, and that God had
put her there that her mother might
find her. As soon as she grew old
enough, it became her daily duty TO cut
the flowers and arrange them to make
beautiful the great rock that had been
dug up from the crossroads and brought
there. To her it represented the place
where the hands of the angels had
rested when they laid her down. Curl
ously enough, the child became very
proud of the way in which she reached
the dear mother who cared for her as
lovingly and as tenderly as if she were
really of her own flesh and blood. Her
birthday was the day on which she was
found, and when the tenth one came
around and q child's party was given
her, she was heard asking one little
girl, @How old are you?' The other
one answered, Il was born nine years
ago." -Ohl" answered the baby, you
were born like other children, but l am
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1891-01-10

"Since I am not wanted by any one,
then" said Atlee with forced gayety, as
he picked up his guitar and moved
toward the door, II shall go"
Don't think we don't want you,
Atlee," said Mrs. Langdon, "for I
should be only too glad to have you
with US, and SO, 1 am sure, would
Maude."
why, of course," said Maude, coldly.
But Atlee merely bowed and, without
glancing toward Winnie, left the room.
When Mrs. Langdon and Maude had
started for their drive Winnie resumed
her seat and did not again think of her
walk.