The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-04-02
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.
The Romans etched their public re
orCls on brass

The Romans etched their public rec.
ords on brass.
Man is power in the land, but
after ALL he can't get married without a
woman's consent.-Drake's Magazine.
-Tom-''Get an invitation to Charles
wedding?" Jack (gleefully)-"No. Did
you?" Tom (sadly)-''Yes. Lend me
tenner. Yankee Blade.
-Teacher-''You say there are six
senses? Why, have only FIVE" Scholar
81 know it, sir. The sixth one is com
mon sense. Detroit Free Press.
Timely Advice.-He-'I feel com
pletely Frustrated. wish were dead, :"
She-"Well, why don't you let me send
for a doctor?'' brooklyn Life.
Artillery Lieutenant lin the way of
a comp1iment)-"Ah, my dear young
lady, but your looks-your glances go
right home. Every ones bulls eye" I"
-Fliegende Blaetter
Watts ts--''Wonde1 why they always
call locomotive 'she?'" Potts-''May
be it is on account of the horrible noise
it makes when it tries to whistle. In
dianapolis Journal.
Are there still active volcanoes in
existence?" said the pupil. so, yes,
indeed replied the Professor absently.
''By the way, are you acquainted with
my wife?"-St. Joseph News.
Professor Patterby-''Defne the diff
ference between wit and humor, Mr..
Fresh" Jack Fresh-"Wit is written
by the paragraph and humor by the
column"
-''Yes, I once failed for hundred
thousand" remarked the red-headed
man who hadn't treated yet. "You see,
the girl was worth that in her own right
and refused me. ."-Philadelphia Times.
Accounted For.-''There was a
guard on the L road this morning who
pronounced the names of the stations as
clearly as Booth could" ST know the
man you mean. He is Russian. IN.
Y. Sun.
Scan women be the heads of bust
ness firms in this country?" "Yes, but
there's one position they never assume
if married. 1.-THE senior member?"
"No, the silent partner. Philadelphia
Times.
She = Edward, the minister has
asked me to sing at the concert for the
church fund. and r" He eagerly
so, go by all means. never did have
much love for that parson or his congre
CATION either. ."-Demorest' Monthly,
-Simpson-''Wh induced you
uncle to marry the widow of a man whc
was hung?" Jimpson-'sHe had beer
married to widows before, and says ht
was tired of having the virtues of formel
husbands constantly flung in his face.
Epoch.
in Russia. -Oficial-''You can no
stay in this country, sir" Traveller
'"Then I'll leave it" Oficial-''H 'Havt
you permit to leave?" Traveler-''No
sir" Official-''Theny you can not go.
leave you twenty-four hours to make VI
your mind as to what you shall IN
Y. Sun.
-Teacher-'I don't see why yol
can't understand this rule in arithme
tic, Johnny. 1t didn't take me five min
utes to understand it when it was frs
explained to me-" Johnny-"P Perhaps
your teacher explained it to you better.
West Shore.
Grammatical Item 'Mishter Sill
verstein, " said Nose Schumburg to hi
clerk, ''chump up on dose ladders ant
hand me down dose .schentlemanly un
dervear." SIT vas not correct to sa,
dose ladders, replied the clerk, VIII
prides himself on his knowledge o
grammar. 81 know dot better den you
Mr.. Silverstein; and ven / say dose Lad
ders,' you may be sure have some pal
ticular reason Wy 1 say dose ladders. D
Texas Siftings.