The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-28
MSWAT'S EXPERIMENT.
IN Which the Tongue That Never Told Q
Lie Got Smoked Out.

/, = M'SWAT'S EXPERIMENT..
IN Which the Tongue That Never Told .
Lie Got Smoked Out.
Mr.. McSwat went home one afternoon .
few weeks ago with something wrapped up
In brown paper. He laid it on the kitch.
en- table, but kept his hand on it, as if il
were a mystery too momentous to be I'M
folded without taking precautions agains:
inflicting upon the sensitive nervous sys,
tenn of Mrs. McSwat q sudden and unex-
pected shock.
''Well, Billiger, what Is it?"
Don't be in a hurry, Lobelia. All in
good time. l have made up my mind to
try little experiment. / can hardly call
it an experiment, though. 1t is such an
obvious. practical thing that it's a wonder
to me it hasn't been done for hundred
years. / am going to show you, Lobelia,
how to save money and add to the COM
forts of life."
Mr.. McSwat then proceeded with great
deliberation to open the package. He took
off the string, rolled it up into a little coil,
and gave it to Mrs. McSwat.
'It's good idea, Lobelia," he said, ''to
save every piece of string that comes into
the house. You may need it some time"
She had bagful of similar coils laid
away somewhere, tangled into an inextric-
able mass and running over at the top, and
had no use under the shining sun for an
other inch of string, but she promised to
take care of this particular wad. Mean
while Mr. McSwat was slowly unrolling
the bundle. He brought to view at last
beef's tongue.
= HI. L. ol,s,
81 don't see anything remarkable about
it, Billiger, except that it isn't smoked"
''That's just the point, madam" he re-
torted. 1--WE got tired of paying sixty
cents apiece for smoked tongues that look
like section of dried monkeys forearm,
and taste as if they had been dug up out Of
an Indian mound. I'm going to smoke my
own beef tongues hereafter"
'But how are you going to do it7 We
haven't any smoke house"
''Just you wait minute and you'll see.
Bring me an iron poker"
Mrs McSwat hunted up the desired i'm
plement and brought it to him.
"Now observe"
He thrust the poker about half its length
through the slit in the smaller end of the
tongue.
He preceded her up stairs, opened back
window, stepped out on the kitchen roof,
and made his way up by laborious climb
ing to the comb, and thence along TO the
chimney at the farther end. Lifting him
self carefully up he placed the poker across
the top of the chimney, the beef tongue
hanging down inside.
CHATS the scheme, Lobelia," he said
back TO the window. It'll
smoke the thing all right and save just
forty cents. Catch me buying smoked
tongues any more"
''But there's no smoke coming up that
chimney, Billiger," said his wife. I'VE
burn hard coal, you know"
"rll fix that. Well throw in a slab
and if that doesn't make
smoke enough we'll burn little soft coal.
They're both cheaper than hard coal"
They went down stairs, and for the next
twenty-four hours or longer, in compli-
ance with instructions from BilHger, Mrs.
and the amiable domestic, Ophelia,
piled the kitchen range literally with slabs
Of wood and chunks of soft coal.
On the morning of the second day after
Mr.. McSwat had put in operation his
grand scheme for saving money and add
ing to the comfort of living, he climbed
out to the chimney again, lifted the tongue
out and brought it down stairs.
mo discount on this job, Lobelia," he |
said, holding it up. IT'S smoked till you |
can't rest. Ever see a finer looking tongue |
than that?"
Doesn't it look a good deal shriveled, |
Billigeri" inquired Mrs. McSwat dubi- |
ously.
"a smoked tongue always looks shriv- |
aled. All you need to do now is to scrape |
It off nicely, peel off the skin and cook It." /
Mrs. McSwat pulled the tongue of the /
poker, laid il down on the table and it /
broke in two.
II was covered with a thick deposit OF
;oot, was charred almost 70 the center, and
rom It's steaming interior came rich odor
n which several distinct kinds OF smoke
we're clearly perceptible.
ia won't need any more cooking. Bill
yer," announced Mrs. AcSwat, after
brief examination.
In the center Of the thickest portion
here WAC about an ounce and half Of
lesh that had escaped the general destruc-
ion in which the rest Of the tongue had
3een involved. How Mrs McSwat care
ully scooped this out, served il up for
dinner as temptingiy as the
.sture of the case would admit, and hung
'ver him like an angel CT mercy while he
re it-how Blllinger McSwat made a
mental computation as 10 the saving be
lad effected IN smoking his OWL beef
oDgue, without counting two largs
ents in the inner periphery OK each
rouSers leg caused By the shtngse nails
n the roof - how be reflected on the
ou1forts he had added &c lie Oy his 1.-THE
xperinent-it IL nc. the purpose OF this
hrunicie 70 relate, hat trust worthy infor-
nation received az this Office quite recently
20 the effect that Mr.. McSwat bays his
noked tongues Low and pays without a
aurInur whatever TIE Eaouopoiizs behind
ke Hes: counter chooses TO ask him
>>hieago TEibune.
Of xnG oz- ]
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