Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1891-10-02

The French tictions about Emperor
William are getting too wild to be
belieyable. 1t would be a comfort,
however, to think that the Partisan
novelists had turned from the produc-
ton of erotic fiction to the concoction
of political lies.
TAKE down the tea cup as an en-
blem of gossip, and put the street
corner in it's place. Half the bad
talk you hear originates on the street
corners among the loafers. Women
may afterward whisper it over their
tea cups, but they do not originate 1T.
BLIND people rarely smoke. They
say they cannot taste the smoke I'M
less they see it. This almost proves
the theory that if you blindfold a
man in a room full of smoke, and put
a lighted and an unlighted cigar in
his mouth alternately he cannot tell
the difference.
No ONE will believe that your work
is greater than your time. Your best
friend is of the private opinion that
you have all the time that is needed,
and that it is your lack of ability
that is to blame. If you must give
an excuse, don't give that of having
no time. No one will believe it.
THE lightweight champion among
the powers Of the earth is Switzer-
land, and she has just celebrated the
60Oth anniversary of her organization
and capture of the belt. Long live
the bantam, and long may the war
cocks OF France, Italy, and Germany
keep their spurs from her plumage.
The report that Ben Butler had
dropped dead on his yacht was quick
ly contracted. He is hale and hearty
at his home in Lowell. The rumor,
however. will make an excellent adj
vertisement for General Buffers me
moirs, soon to be published. 1t
beats the farewell appearance" all
hollow.
The Shah of Persia, who for some
months past has been supposed to be
dying, has walked up sufficiently to
kill of one Of his REGULATING govern
ors, Abdullah Khan, by putting him
alive into hot water and boiling him
until he was dead. May we respect
fully inquire if this might properly
be called ssboilocution?"
THE Navy Department hurried
cruisers to China to protect the Amer
ican missionaries there. The mis-
sionaries might have done equally
good work for the cause of humanity
and saved good deal of bother by
going into the slums Of almost any
American city. However, there'd
have been no romance in that.
1T now appears that the Russian
heir-apparent either ran away or
fainted,. or both, when attacked by
the little Japanese policeman at To-
kio. The dispatches about his hero
ism were heroically doctorcd at Yoko-
hama. This man will be a noble
successor to the long line Of fearless
monarchs founded by the boyer
RomanOff.
EDISON prophesies that in thirty
years houses will be both heated and
lighted by electricity at cost of less
than $50 a year. If Mr.. Edison would
discontinue prophesying good things
for the distant future and reduce
somewhat the present cost Of some
little devices in daily use from which
he is drawing large royalties he would
be better appreciated.
PAvEL ZIsKA is the rather odd
name of great man. Pavel has
done a great deed for his sex. He
has broken the ice in the matter OF
breach-of-promise litigation by suing
Mary Augustine for $4,000 for her
refusal to keep her troth with him.
Pavel should be honored and blessed
wherever down-troddcn man is NAL
treated and deceived by woman.
The scarcity of circuses in the land
has been a great and grievous depri.
walton to the father and mother and
uncles and aunts and dozens of neigh
bors who have, with generous self.
abnegation, stood ready ever since the
first blush of spring to take the baby
to the show and see that nothing
happened to the poor little darling
while he enjoyed the entertainment.
THE cables are being worked to in
form the American public that PATHS
voise is still good and that she uses it
with less effort than ever. AS Patti
is 81 years old, and her voice could
not in the course Of nature be as good
81 n III 4