The Opelousas courier., 1891-03-28
UM0R OF THE DAY.

A welcome vis-a-vis-A IS bill.
A cook book is the funeral service G
the dumb creation.-PucE.
The worst thing in the mince pie j
the dream.-Pittsbury Dispatca.
Courage is a hardy plant; it is nevel
destroyed BY being ssplucked up."-
PaoE.
The Queen of England turns thu
financial scales at SO, 000, 00O.-ABens
argus.
The world has never been what il
ought to be since the mince pie was dis.
coyered.-Ram's Horn.
Strange as it may seem, the more a
man goes around in the world, the less
cranky he becomes.-Pack.
It is not polite to pocket anything at
the table, unless it happens to be a bill
lizard ball.-Kew YorE News.
A sad sight in this world is to see an
old hen trying to plume herself to look
chic.-8crGnton Republican.
Highest grade of impudence-To wait
In an umbrella shop for shower to pass
over.-Denser Field and farm.
~ foated out with the tide'-as the
best man explained when asked how he
came 70 have rice in his hair.-P1cE.
Teacher-sCan you tell me what a
secret ISL" Little Girl-"Yes'm. It is
something somebody tells everybody else
in q whisper. - Chicago MUs.
The latest achievement in modern sci
ence is that effected by the Old Lady OF
Threadneedle street in bridging over
Baring's Straits.-London Judy.
Some men receive impressions after
the manner of a blotter. They get
things directly opposite from what they
were DISQUALIFICATION Transcript.
Iyearn for you, my love- be sighed,
Can you my love regurng'
AWell, that depends the girl replied,
Just how much can you EARN
-SonaeTuiUe Journal.
Lillie-tOh, Minnie I have such q
d.a., unique fad. | have stuffed . pill
low with all Cholly's love letters"
Minnie-aHow soft your pillow must
b e.n-Ep0ch.
Benevolent Man Tiff you are blind,
how could you see TO pick up that half
dollar / droppeda" Beggar-ssMy heart
has been made so light by your charity
that ! can see BY il. '-Bu6fao Espress.
Scene, NeWport-aHow well pre-
served Lord Bawnbast isis he not o
great swell3n s.Oh, yes with a burst Of
.confdeuce). DO You know when he ar
rived he was obliged to pay duty on
himself as a work of arta"-BrooEggu
Lift.
Pedestrian Cunning suddenly upon .
tramp-sSee, here; you skip, or I'LL
you over to the police. You're after
no good" Tramp-aWell, stranger.
now that Ihave good look at your face,
guess you're about right.n-0bicsgo
Nstos.
Young Noodle-"Did you say, Pro-
lessor, that physiology was the science
that treats of the functions of the body7"
professor-tYes. SIR Y. N.-"Then
under the head Of what ology would 8
,tudy of tho mind CONFER PIT aga
afraid, Noodle, thatin your case it would
,ome under the head OF NEUROLOGY
Boston Courier.
"Please, sir, would you see If you have
letter for Marie shirmeran "A busi-
less letter or a love letter7p "a busi-
less letter. mo, there Is none To that
Al quarter OF an hour after:
Would it be too much trouble for you
see whether there may not be one
lmong the other lettersan-FJisgends
3kaeser.
"You have been fighting, my son."
nd the alderman from Che 'sfeenth ward,
sverely. Eyes, Sir, y replied the boy.
The dirty little scoundrel on the other
lde Of the street told me you'd sell your |
ote IN the Council any time for a hun-
red dollars, and / chugged him one on
be Jaw HThat was right, my son.
i'd the alderman. Zone hundred dol
'rs-and he spoke with much emphasis
I'd decision-awonld DO no tempta-
on.'-Chiosgo Irsba,se.
Il IL stated that for the rear ending
%, 1890, there were in New York
tafe SOC, 900 children OF school age i
be did not attend school for any part
the period.