Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-06-28

at the moment when his guest was look
ing at a couple Of bob-sleds that were ly-
ing over fence on Fourteenth street, il
became necessary to explain that lastwin-
ter there came one day couple of inches
of warm snow, and the unusual freak Of
falling weather brought old and Young
out with hastily improvised seds, anf Tor
two or three evenings tobogganing pre-
vailed extensively on Fourteenth Nand
other streets where there was an incline.
And isn't this the truth?
A friend of Mr. Kumately, who has
great deal of responsibility on hand at
this time in connection with the coming
Fourth of July celebration, remained
quite late-or rather early-at the club
one evening during the past week talking
over the matter with other members of
the committee. Somewhere about "a
Quarter of twelve" which is really about
three-three being a quarter of twelve
the gentleman under consideration re-
turned TO his home, and being anxious TO
avoid disturbing his wife, he took off his
shoes in the hall and quietly retired. He
was very fairly settled on the rail of his
couch and was concentrating himself
that he had succeeded in going to bed
without disturbing anyone, when 1 his 4
wife, in a decidedly wideawake nd
deeply interested way, spoke up" sag~
ing My dear. did you bring in the morn
ing paper?" Thus again do we see that
1.-The best laid plans of men and mice,
gang aft aglee."
A few weeks ago Mr.. Kumlately called
at a grocery on Eleventh street and made
purchase OF quantity of clover seed
with which he generously sowed his ex-
tenSive grounds. The June rains came
and were good for those seeds and they
sprouted and sprang up. The salesman,
however, had made something of a
mistake in selecting the seeds and in
stead of a beautiful set of clover, Mr..
Kumlately has the finest and largest
growing crop of turnps on Puget sound.
He will have turnips for sale, but desiring
to avoid the regular rate per line, he
hastens to say that this is not an adver-
tsement Of the crop,
In a certain sample room in this city
there came in one evening together d
party of seven men, the front name of
each of whom was James. Being struck
with the remarkable character of the
situation and feeling honOred by the pres
ence Of so many Jims, the proprietor
closed the front door and said that the
/ bar should belong only to the Jims for
that night, his name being Jim also. Mr..
| ks informant says that before morning
it had much the appearance Of belonging
| to the jim jams.
Somebody sent Emperor William box
Of Yakima county county cigars, and yet !
there has been no application from Ger
many for the eXtradltion of the sender.
IT IL said that Fifer and Foraker, re
spectively Of Illinois and Ohio, are the
only privae soldiers Of the Union army
ever elected to the goYernorship 49,
state. This is probably because all
other private soldiers have long 80
died. At any rate, they are 'monsTous
skase" nowadays.
Some mighty poor American actors
have lately made big hits in countries
over the ocean, and this is fortunate
thing for this country, as many other Of
the born-stormiDg fakirs will betake
themselves across the water and as the
walking is bad, they won't be able to get
back.
FrH
Lately dancing masters convention
in New York decided as to how one should
take hold of a lady for a waltz. The
terpsichoren professors in convention as
sembled say: The gentleman should hold
the lady with his right forearm, placing
the left arm fat against her back, and
so on, nd tibitiim. I'D iHfnitum, I'D ndlt-
scum. Now, the fact is that gentleman
when he goes to put his arms about lady
for dancing, or even for ordinary amuse-
ment and entertainment, knows exactly
4 how it should be done, without formula,
receipt or diagram. and when dancing
masters come prancing in with their Sgg-
gestions on the subiecl they are alto
q gether too forthwith, and are invading
S private precincts in which they
a are not wanted. The dancing masters
convention can take its numerous and ag-
e gregated hat and go right away.
@ ~
A gentleman in this city, speaking OF
his tendency to forget the names OF even
his most intimate friends, tells, in Illus
tration Of how such thing may occur,
an old story that perhaps you have not
4 heard. 1t is this: Smith and Jones, one
s night, in boozy condition, started home
together, happening to live in the same
t block. Hating at the residence of one OF
/ the twain, they knocked at the door, ana
u night-capped head appeared at the
window "Who lives here?" said one OF
them. why Smith. you fool" replied
that Rentleman's irate spouse. well,