Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-06-03
TALK OF THE DAY.

"a counter HFAsan@ eSuCy
shop-sirl.
Maid to measure-Ths young
woman at the ribbon counter.
Flat nonseuse-Expecting the com.
forts of a home in an apartment house.
Voice from the cage-."The saloon"
he solemuly drawlei. -Ss sne house
that Jagg built"
II do dislike people who say yes
with a rising infection to everything
thew near" "Yes?"
III must die" pleaded the turkey
.let me be buried decently. Please
don't eat with your knife?'
Not very busy.-First orange
Hello! What are you doing herep"
Second orange Nothing; just look.
Ing round
IL think we ought to have the
Iuchsia for our national flower"
..Why SOP" I'VE have u great fuchsia
before us"
When politician remarks that he is
In the hands of friends it can generally
be assumed that his friends hands are
in his pockets
The man who pays the biggest pew
rent here on earth will not always find
the best seat reserved for him in the
heavenly congregation.
When a young man begins to cour,
a girl with the purpose of reaching the
goal Of matrimony, he generally gets
there by the belt line.
Businesslike: Young Sprigg
Bidquick am worth $4,000 and
love your daughter" Mr.. Bidquick
(retired auctiOneer) Sold.
What are you pouting about. John
ny?" "Billy's real mean" What
the matter?" al eat all my candy. and
Billy won't give me any of his"
Nothing half way about him.
Brown-"lt's too bad about Jorgson
drinking so. He's not half bad
fellow" Jones-"No. He's a whole
one"
Binks-"What a pity that Smithers
can't keep sober! l just saw him down
the street" Jinks-''Loaded for b. ar,
as usual?" Binks-'Loaded from bar,
thought"
A Michigan paper suggests that
John l.. Sullivan be turned into the
ring with 4-year-old bull. John has
certainly never hesitated to face a
couple Of horns.
Knew When to Leave.-"Is your
cat intelligent?' Il should say SO!
She heard me tell the cook to have
rabbit stew for lunch, and she hasn't
been seen since
Quite Natural-Mrs. Gazzam-
Young Mr.. Dolly dotes wildly on our
Amy" Mr.. Gazzam-''Yes, my dear.
He is just at the age when young men
sow their wild dotes."
A good example. e.-Canvasser-"Y Yes.
it is early. but I'm morning glory
open out early" Victim-'I hope
you'll emulate that flower. too, in
shutting up before noon"
Necessary Preparations.-Vis Visitor
| suppose your daughter is busily pre-
parlng for her wedding. Mother
Yes, she is up in her room now de
stroying all her old letters"
A Cordial Invitation.-His Honor
What made you steal this gentle
mans door-mat?" Prisoner-'.Sure
ye Honor, it is Welcome on it, il
letthers as long as your ar-r-rm."
Stranger-"Is the cashier imp
Janitor (emphatically)-''Yes, sirr
Stranger-"Can | see him?" Janito
Yes, sir! Visiting hours at the jai
are from 2 to every afternoon"
Relatives OF the Fifth avenue, New
York, girl who recently married bar
tender are making a great ado over it
And yet the girl might have married
bar tough" instead of bar tedter
The Horrid Thing. 81 think the
gentlemen in New Y YorlS are very polite
Three OF them got up tn give me a sea
in the car to-day" Mics Borey-
And you took all ~nree, l presume?'
At Niagara. old Nh Testy (return
ing to his room after paying the hote
bilD--'Don't touch mel I'm not sur,
about my insulation, and I've just beel
so heavily charged that I'm danger
ous."
One merit of Wagner. die
you like the Wagner operas, Clara?'
Il enjoyed them immensely, Th'
person back of you who always huns
an opera gets left when it comes to
Wagner"
In the Black Maria: Tags-'.W
makes you sit up so kinder stiff an
unsociableP" Rags Qoftily)-"Why,
amt no common bloke, | amt Mr.
Vangoulderbilt had me arrested TO
beggin'"
A broad hint: Landlord (to depart
ing gues)-'I trust / may rely upoI
your recommending my establish
mentsn Guest-'I don't happen Il
have at this moment a mortal enem.
In the worldr'
Love is blind" Nonsense! Jus
pay little attention to some othe
woman, and the woman who loves you
will see it even if the transaction oc
ours ten miles away, with half a hun
dred brick walls intervening.
She Could Not Accept. t.-Goslin-
Miss Weenawken, will you homo
Inc with your company to the opera OF
Thursday?' Miss Weehawken-'Tn N
sorry, but lot of my friends are t.
give me a surprise party that night
and I'm expected to stay at home"
"Thipketh no evil" A lady is be
ing examined in a police court Mog
istrate well, madam, one thing a
least seems to be certain; your hus
band beat you" Witness (apologetic
atly) your honor; but then h.
always was such an energetic man.
Society: Little chick-.What d.
you let that ugly little thing com,
under your wing for?" Old hen (wh
has inadvertently Matched ducks egg
Il can't help it, my dear View
got TO put up with the creature be
cause she belongs to our set, yo