The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1891-03-26
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Reduced to the ranlSs-bad butter
marked down.-Texas Siftings
He Knew Her Seconds.-''NVe can't
leave for an hour" ''Why notr' ''My
wife has gone into the kitchen for a
secoud. IN. Y. Sun.
Somebody claims that Strawberries
and corncobs contain about the same
elements. Some folks will claim any
thing.-Ram's Horn.
-Lummix-"Why did you kick that
man, Skimgullet?" Sl1imgullet = HE
told me an untruth, and my sole revolted
at the lie "-Demorest' Monthly.
Utility. = Dealer - ''These carpets
can't be beat, num-" Customer =
"Huhl Catch me buying carpets that
can't be beat. What dye 'spose I keep
husban' for."-Good News.
Mrs. Nextdoor-''W Where's your hus-
band?" Mrs. Athome-"Down cellar,
inoculating the gas meter. He says its
consumption of gas is something awful"
Boston Traveller.
His Employer-'I eau only say, Mr..
Jones, you have acted like donkey IN
this NATTER ''But you mustn't forget,
sir, that acted as your representative.
Philadelphia Times.
The Reason.-Peeler (before doors
of wrecked bank l1l-"What are you loaf
ers collecting here for?" The Peeled
(in chorus)-"Because we can't collect
inside. IN. Y. Sun.
$50 you are looking for an honest
man, said friend of Diogenes to him.
'sYes, sir" 'EHow will you recognize
one when you see himP" ''He viii re-
turn borrowed lead-pencil. "-Wash-
ington Post
That VIII Quiet Them Clerk
'Here's another statement from Inl1wel1
& Co. Shall pay it?' Principal
Tell Valise to place another order-a
large one-with them. American Sta
toner.
Customer purchasing a fountain
pen)-''What's this it is wrapped up imp"
Clerk-''That, sir, is tract. Read it
and it may counteract the terrible effect
on you caused by swearing at the pen"
Boston Traveller.
(which side do you lie on?' asked
| the physician in attendance on an editor
who was very i'll. Neither" replied
the editor, rallying at ence; ''my paper
| is published on strict upright princi-
pies. Washington Post.
Mrs. 'Watts-''For all the smart talk
about women's curiosity, the men are
just as bad" Mrs. Potts-''Yes, indeed.
He never gives me a dollar without
wanting to know all about what in
tend to do with it.-Indianapolis Jour
nal
-Jack-"Why are you looking SO
sad?" Toni saw Maud throwing
sly glances at Harry tonight" Jack
''Cheer up. It was doubtless for you she
meant them, though Harry got them.
Women never can throw straight, you
know. w."-Harper's Bazaar.
"A Freak.-Mrs. Allow do you
like our new neighbour Mrs. B.-sI
never met such an ignorant woman as
she is. She can't talk about any thing
but paintings, books and music. She
doesn't know word of gossip about
body. Manhattan.
Some Nice Pieces. s.-She-''You are
getting to be quite poet, Mr.. Middle
mere. notice some very nice pieces Of
youIs in the paper" He with irony)-
| les, Gne PRIMER seems 10 UnInk tney
look better that way. I assure you
write themcomplete, however. .S-Ameri-
can Grocer.
-''But, Your Honor" said the pris-
oner, ''six months for me? Remember,
sir, have been member of the Legis-
lature and once ran for Councils. /"
''That may be. But you should have
spoken sooner, can not increase your
sentence now. Philadelphia Times.