davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Doctors somet,m s Differ.

| The now pending medical commission cinch
| bill, By which the fellows on the inside expect
TO make 1t warm for fellows on the outside,
recalls facts concerning little difficulty in the
family OF an esteemed naval surgeon, which are
about as follows, says Derrick Dodd in the san
/ Francisco Erdminer: II seems that DR.. Pills.
| bury OF the United States ser Ice was married
| about three years ago TO a lovely Los An. eles
lady. but was almost Immediately ordered TO
| Join the Asiatic squadron, his bride remaining
mere. From one emergency or another he was
kept abroad until few weeks ago. During his
absence his wife prepared a surprise for her
husband by study q medicine. Unfortunately,
| however, she entered q homeopathic college,
/ her husband being OF the allopathic persuasion.
she had Just received q diploma when her hus-
| band returned. but they had hardly exchanged
| anectionate greetinZs when q messenger cane
/ rushing IN 70 say that man had just fallen out
OF q three-story window around the block, and
Ior whom physician was required at once.
The husband made haste to obtain his inStTu-
mentS, but when he reached the scene of the
accident he was astonished at beholding his
wife engaged in feeling the patients pulse.
What does this mean" said the surprised
practitioner.
~ forgot to tell you. darling" explained his
wife You see | am a regularly qualified
homeopathic physician"
homeopathic" sneered the husband, get
ting very red in the face.
Yes. pet" said tn. doctress. sweetly ''This
dosing people with bucketsful OF slop is getting
out OF date, precious. "
And 80 you have actually been roped In by
that gang OF pilule peddng pirates!"
Don't DO rude my dear, replied the female
specialist. You can't expect to keep up with
the march OF science in China Just stand
back and let me save the patient
Save hddleStichs." snapped the allopath;
go home woman. and cease trifiing with
human life or perhaps you had better scrape
lint while resuscite the SUBJECT"
why don't you two quit fighting and go to
works said the victims wife. who had Just
concluded she wouldn't look we'll In black
when this female person withdraws," said
DR.. p. stiffly. Il shall proceed in the regular
way"
i will not be responsible for the cons quences
until the old fogy is removed" snapped the
wife
You're quackr roarsd the male NJ D.
you're butcherr' screamed Il female one.
And in this way they went on until SOL. eoody
announced that the man was dead.
And now the judge says that if he refuses
their divorce petition he's afraid they'll begin
practlcing on each other, and he thinks there
have been enough murders committed recently,
as it is.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Maintaining the sanctity of Marriage

Maintaining the Sanctity of Marriage.
On the occasion Of his first Lenten dis,
course Cardinal Gibbons held forth at
length on the subject of Marriage and Di-
vorce" before an audience limited only to
the capacity of the Baltimore cathedral. 1t
was very conservative and practical and
wholesome address
Among the audience was Col. Jerome J.
Bonaparte, grandson of the King Of West
phalia, whom the cardinal utilized to point
his argument, citing the case wherein Pope
Plus VII. refused to anlul the marriage
between Jerome Bonaparte and Miss
Patterson, at the earnest request of the great
Napoleon. Marriage, according to the
christian dispensation, said the cardinal
has four Distinguishing characteristics 1t
is the most ancient of all contracts. For
our primitive parents were the first con-
tracing parties, the Garden Of Eden was
the scene of the union, and God himself was
the minister and the only witness of their
esp sal. 1t is the most exclusive of all
contracts, for husband can have but one
wife and wife but one husband. A third
partner is prohibited by the christian dis
pensation from sharing in the union. Hence
polygamy and Mormonism are absolutely
forbidden by the christian law"
Continuing, the cardinal maintained that
it is the most sacred Of all fellowships, since
it was founded by Almighty God himself.
Christ" he said, elevated marriage to
the dignity of sacrament, and the holy
ghost is the divine fire that YIELDS together
two hearts in unquenchable love" 1t is a
beautiful thing, and well worthy Of con-
sheraton.
Honor is womaE's kingdom. according to
the cardinal, and she should studiously
shun the political arena and beware of I'M
sexing herself. Vain ambition to reign in
public life will destroy her legitimate em-
pire, he says.
Marriage is the NEST inviolable and irrev-
ocable Of all contracts that we're ever
/ formed. Every human contract but this
may be lawfully dissolved. Nations may
be justified in abrogating treaties with one
| another; merchants may dissolve partner
ships; brothers will eventually leave the
parental roof and separate from each other,
as did Jacob aud Esau; friends may be COM
pehou w parC company, hke Abraham ana
| Lot. But by the law Of God man and wife
can be dissolved only by death. Whom
God hath Joined together no man shall put
asunder.' Legislation framed to dissolve
the nuptial tie cannot, he thinks, be held
valid.
Divorce in many states has long been
held altogether too free. 1t has tended to
reduce marriage to the plane of very cheap
and perfunctory formal ceremony, without
serious significance. Therefore the cardi-
nails outspoken address is In the line of sus-
tanning the sanctity of the marital relation.
and is therefore in harmony with christian
sentiment all the world over. Divorces
have been granted altogether too freely of
late.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Persuasion mat ri1n,t Persuade.

Congressman Butterworth did not name the
new postmaster, says the Washington Post,
but he got good story out of the contest, and
to man of Benjamin's fine sense of humor and
decided views on civil services reform that is no
slight recompense for the time and trouble
IN ested in the hunt for "spo1ls." When John
Zumstein. the new postmaster Of Porkopolis,
came 70 Washington to look after his chances
he was very much surprised to learn that his
appointment was being vigorously opposed by
butterworth He at once hunted up the rebel
lious member and demanded TO know the cause
of his unfrendly action.
Well, John, said Butterworth, in the most
serious tones he keeps in stock, II will be very
candid with you. have known you for long
time think you are a good man. and believe you
men who are pushing you for the place are not
of the right kind. and cannot lend myself TO
their political schemes"
Butterworths German constituent was very
much surprised, and started to argue the case
No" continued the Cincinnati congressman;
cannot iange my mind or my recommends
ton. Now, John, the prop IT thing for you to
do is to go with me to the President and say to
him, Mr.. Harrison, have concluded to with
draw my application for this office, and sug-
gest that you appoint Gen. Brown to the place
he is poor. one-legged soldier, and am we'll
on in this worlds goods. and cannot allow my
self to stand in his way
do this" said Bntterworth, "and in the
future there will be nothing too good for your
POI " W uosIo" oh you. Jusb LINK OF the
effect. Your action will be telegraphed to the
newspapers, it will be printed in big type and
with big headlines, and your name will be on
the tongue of every man, woman, and child in
Cincinnati"
The congressman paused to note the effect of
his suggestion, and Eumstein was not long in
expressing his opinion.
Ben said he in rich German accent
dots all right aboudt your ig type und your
pig heatlines. don't gif tam for dot or for
Brown it's the office wants.
Butterworth's constituent picked up his hat
| and left in anything but good humor, and the
genial congressman learned few days later
that Zumstein got just what he wanted.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Wanted His Letter Badly.

A middle-aged. healthy-Iooking man who had
called at the postoffice for letter several DAYS
running returned yesterday with the usual in
quiry, says the Detroit Free Press, and was
answered as before:
mo letter for you"
Are you quite sure?" he earnestly asked.
"Oh, yes
ALAS but can't make IL out" sighed the
man. Il should have had one Monday and this
uncertainty unnerves me-"
Expecting to hear from some of your
friensf', queried the clerk, touched by his
dependency.
"Yes-my wife"
she is away from homer
"Yes-in Buffalo"
Anyone ill?n
mo, not exactly"
But you were so anxious thought it might
be case OF life or death"
1T is almost. You see, she cooks in a restau.
rant and sends me IS per week to live on here
and this is the first time In six months l have
missed letter on Monday. l don't know what
to think. She may be ill-she may be out of a
job-she may have gone back on me- Imay
even have to go to work again 10 earn my owr
living. Please be very. very sure that you have
not overlooked my expected letter"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

SPECIAL NorICEs-"Du Yu Mead KashF
Adam Strauss, Manager n. Y. Loan ONCE
Grand Opening. Jas. Lane & Co; This Satur'
days Cut Prices at Heidt's; Fresh Strawberries
Etc, at Reily's To-day.
A BIG DRIVE IN BABY CARRIAGES, ETC
Lindsay & Morgan.
MEDICAL-Nervous Debility Pills.
HoTELs-The Grand Pacific, Chicago, ILL.,
CIRCULAR No. 1s5-Railroad Commission Of
Georgia.
FLORIDA ORANsEs-A. H. Champions Son.
AUCTION LIS Clothing. Candy and Wooden
ware, A Business Corner, Mondays Auction
Sale, An Elegant Residence and Grounds, by C.
Il. Dorsett; Special Auction Sale, by 1. D. La
Roche & Son.
CHEAP COLUMN ADvERTIsEAENrs-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale: Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Victory for the copyright bill doesn't ap-
pear to please our British cousins half SO
much as was anticipated by the enthusiast
tic supporters OF the measure. With that
alert commercial instinct for which the
Briton is noted they at once say that the
act is only another way of protecting
American printers and paper makers" That
is not pleasing to the English mind. Should
they decide to reciprocate at all they say
that their cooperation will be made subject
to the same protective restrictions. Then il
will simply be question OF balance OF
trade
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Friendship Of the Damon and Pythias
order is all very picturesque and pretty to
look upon from sentimental standpoint.
But when it comes to committing suicide in
unison that is carrying sympathetic devo-
ton just step too far. So those two Gin
cinnati students who shot themselves in
symphony will not be likely to elicit much
public enthusiasm by their eccentric har-
mony of mental disorder. Hypnotic infiu-
ence is said TO have largely entered into the
inspiration of the moving impulse.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Prepared Him for Prison.

Judge O.. who once presided over crimi
nal court down east, was famous as one of the
most compassionate men who ever sat upon the
bench, says the Youths Companion. His soft
ness of heart, however, did not prevent him
from doing his duty as judge.
man who had been convicted of stealing q
small amount was brought into court for sen.
tence. He looked very sad and hopeless. and
the court was much moved by his contrite
appearance.
Have you ever been sentenced to imprison-
mentS" the judge asked
"Never-never!' exclaimed the prisoner
bursting into tears.
Don't cry-don't cry, " said Judge O., con.
sohngly; you're going to be nowl"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Illinois ladies Of the highest social promi-
hence have forwarded to the state legislator e
an interesting memorial, setting forth that
they don't want the voting franchise, and
citing many incidents Of history to show
that it would be positively detrimental to
their sex. They are sensible women. While
the suifragists make noise enough for vast
multitude, they constitute but small pro-
portion of the female population of the
country.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Fortune is impartial after all. Some peo-
pie seem to be getting an undue share OF this
worlds goods, but the humble are not
wholly ignored. For New York messen-
ger boy recently inherited $50, 900 and some
relative has given nearly s3,00O,0OO TO a
BOSTON policeman. Somebody should now
bsqusath about $500, oQO,0 600 to the typical
hotel clerk, SO that he may DO enabled to
maintain sbe luxurious STYLE to which he has
gradually aecu.tomed himself
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Attempts to make it appear that Gov.
Hills refusal to recognize Mr.. Buckley as
governor Of Connecticut will injure his
presidential prospects are rather absurd.
Connecticut democrats are not very power
full at best, and they are certainly not likely
to be turned against the governor by his
refusal to recognize a republican as gov
ernor of the state when they elected dem
ocrat. Such a suggestion is the most arrant
nonsense.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Registered at the P1stofioe in Savannah

100000
The MoRSISG News is published every day IN
the year aud is served to subscribers IN the city
at IS cents a week. 81 90 a month, IS 90 for six
mouths and SO 90 for one year.
The MORNING NEws, by mall one month
81 90; three months, 81 so; six months, IS O0i
one year, $40 90. .,-
TIE MoRxING News, by mail. six times week
without Sunday issue, three months, - OO'
sig months, 81 90; one year, IS %.
The MoRNING NEWS. Tri-Weekly, Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays three months u % SIX
months, 50 so; one year, s. 90
The SUNDAY NEWS, by mud, one year, 50 co.
The WEEKLY NEws, By mail. one year, ~ y.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order, check or registered letter. Cur
rency sem by mail at risk OF seuders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
"MoRNING NEWS Savannah, Ga
Transient advertiseme It's, other than special
column. local or reading notices. amuse-
ments and cheap or want column, 10 cents a
lice. Fourteen lines of agate type-equal to
one inch space in depths the standard OF
measurement Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business office.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Senator Gordon has finally become a
member of the farmers alliance. He
waited so long before joining the order,
after announcing that he intended to do so
that there began to be an impression that
he had changed his mind.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Several Of the European powers have al
ready announced their intention of being
handsomely represented at the Chicago
fair, and the states are RAPIDLY falling into
line with substantial appropriations.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Under the heading Of "A Black Record. 4"
the New York u oriG takes leave Of the ad-
ministration Mt the close CT congress In d
whitening arraignment Of the policy and
practices OF Harrison's Two years of ruinous
rule. 1t is Gisgraceful story Of plumber
and partisan abuse Of power that will not
please the people and saould shame even the
callous and INSCRIPTIONS Republican party.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Idle workmen in Hamilton, who regard
themselves as thrown out Of employment
by the errors Of the government policy that
causes 50 ma y Canadian industries to sus-
pend operations, are about unanimously
"agin the goYernment.n
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

With the development of her material re-
sources Alabama has acquired large sur
plus Of pretty to gh characters who are
breaking out in fresh atrocities every few
days. They ought to be bounced out Of the
stata
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
OUK NEW YOKk OFFICE.

KR. ]. ]. FLYse, General Advertising Agen'
uf the MORNING NEWS. ofice % Park Row,
Kew York All advertising business outside Oh
che states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro-
Ina III be managed by him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Not only was no snubbed by the governor,
hUt Jay Gould got sick here. and an Att nta
preacher held him upas horrible example
to the crafty and avaricious. Possibly that
may account for his statement that he
didn't enjoy his southern trip.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Arousine Arkansas ambition.
From the CHICAGO Tribune (Repl.

From the CHICAGO Tribune CRspl
Arkansas will have no excuse now for hold
ing aiuof from the worlds far. with the nice
little sum of S154,7 01 from the United States
treasury it can make an exhibit that will do it
self credit. In spite of the peccadilloss of its
democratic treasurers Arkansas can hold up its
head in 1898 as high as anybody.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Heavy snowfalls continue to hold down
the low mean temperature in the northwest
despite the fact that spring has come.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Democratic victories Ia the municipal
elections throughout the state are astound-
ing the Iowa republicans. Such surprising
results show thu rapidly growing democratic
strength, and give warming Of the desperate
struggle the republican. will have to carry
the state in the forthcoming presidential
election. Hard work will place IL In the
democratic column.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

With the death of Leonard Jerome New
York loses one Of the most public-spirited
men the great city has ever known, and
one of the most distinguished ana versatile
Many of the most noble institutions Of
Gotham are the result of his ideas and orig
inalitv
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

When the governor OF a Madagascar
province gets dyspeptic and uncomfort-
able he unloads his bilious accumlations
by ordering the immediate slaughter of a
few hundreds Of his subjects His latest
paroxysm cost 27s people their lives. That
governor should be electrocuted for his ow
OOOd
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Gradually Candidate Harrison is captur-
ing the clans In Chicago. When he gets go
ing he is a hustler, and when be hustles he
gets there. Now he is said to have wrested
the saloonists from the Cregier column.
That may mean his election. 1t is strong
element
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Well, Sarah, what havo you been doing
to make You look so youngl Oh, nothing
much, oHly been using Halls Hair REVIEWER
to restore the color of my hair.-Ad.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Kansas has a speaker who out-Reeds even
Reed. Declaring motion carried in de-
fance of the established rules of the House
is no more than Reed did. But he is not
charged with shouting damn the rule" as
the Kansan is said to have done. Parlia-
mentary procedure appears to be growing
exceedingly vigorous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Russia expects to enter extensively into
the cultivation of cotton in her Asiatic
dominions as soon as she can arrange a
satisfactory system Of irrigation. Water is
said to be all that is lacking to produce all
the cotton that the local demand calls for.
But these sanguine expectations may prove
fatuitous. Certainly sufficient crop could
not be grown from the start.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

When you go TO buy Hoods Sarsaparilla
be sure to get it, Don't be put of with an
inferior substitute. Insist upon Hoods
Ad
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07

Tested by Tfme-For Bronchial affections,
Coughs, etc, BRowE's BRONCHIAL TRocHEs have
proved their efficacy by test of many years.
Price % cents.-Ad
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
CURRENT COMMEN r.
Give the Stolen Goods

From the Louisville Courier-JourndI (Dem.l
Mr.. Buckley of Connecticut should get I'D
and give Gov. Morris that chair.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Her Name Eas Lost Its Spell.
From the Patlad.rpnio Press tRsp,l

Miss vane has discovered that tights are
wicked. Gentlemen of convivial tastes, go
thou and do likewise!''
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-07
Less Satisfactory Than They Look.

From the NeD York Continent (Indl
The cases of the Contsssa Montercole, nee
Miss Virginia Knox of Pittsburg, and of Mrs
James Boothby Burke-Roche, nee Miss Fanny
Work of New York, show that imported aristo-
Gratis are not. after all, the best husbands for
American girls
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1891-12-18
TARIFF LITERATURE FOR ALL.

ms ANKn1cAuP norncTrvETARrFFLRAGu
\ Publishing 9 most valuable series Of Tariff
documents. These are epo with n view
70 state the facts and arguments FOR protec-
ton. Whcthsr Ia the interest n farmers,
labQrer, merchants or professional men.
Zach issue OF the series sppccls TO floCr en-
8sEcd ~ separate industries, and %preacntsi,-
dkputabio iacps-comparifune OF Wasea. cos
Of liTinc. Nnd othar arguments slowing tho
beradt1 ~ Protection.
Any sinala ona viii b rert on rscoipt az 2
sei'tS ~ ttampe e. 9fpt vases Lying and
The whole let viii DO ncnt for % cents OF
. twelve FOR - eonts. or any nvo for 10
cents, postage paid. ORDERLY number.
l. wares. Living and Taria.- 4 A. Hams
a-"rss ISvaaistes OF 4 Prot:savc TafiE v
Ms fAkor and lndustriaa OF ne United
siets." FIST rrize Esssy, 1857. CaAu-
s--uo@s Frodssgos i-ndi;pSaisSic 70 a SrS.
Ply, ~ law friess, Of ths Mangfastlitt
Cozimoditi.s required Tor hs People &
tie United State, and Adcquate Hono
frodhetion Of thaat Conanodiue InFos-
frira nifay, 1t1a. @. p. Tom. ..s. ~
E"U hat ara ESw ntterialsl Wosl4i rsa Raw
ana Isdus sriss n ~ Tssl.SSd AsstSsssss
lirit frits EssSZ, lsie AonEh Di1EL
S-"borso IisTs en- ts TsriE 81 an Oh haii-
heshsn $40. pn4rIn. ~
tse soSa's !. i. pTaSD1aa~.-.o &c
Sine Wool lntsrst." JNdEs VIZ LaWEEr@ "a
N-EreNagt1cQ - Arec-lraoos~-A MntaflQn
Review. D. @. -
1o-"Tke Tar1asr aad rs TErln'T Col TnoaAs
1I-"Protssasa ava frbik PciisT.s 6BOsaas :.
u--RsSiy q IA Fn.siissY Ffc;f nss
anEe." y. p. 3
Is OTnsgl1ru azd Va Tsrf.T .......... Q
1.-THE Tt1 Clesuaa ELlAncrtsaa 1ndrs-
Nies - kbanGcAod and AE-ertsan Enr-
Eos AdrrsHesrsdf 2
1Eosras IN GorEsa, via edhea........ o.. 3
1e-"Ihs Pr9rT-r " une EaadEod IcegE."
Eolssr ?; Ponrro ...y.,..."... 8
II--froteshou Cor AEAerioeR ~nhpping.s...... 9
1.-THE IHriH Est TaI.T HCefzu !. DzuL- 8
1b-" My f~riIsnson 3hoald "a Frotest3oueElE." Q
2o-"FropseAon y. a. AlEes-oNN....s..... 4
IL" IL e TEdn7 2" Answera 70 a WosAihy-
mas e7oeoton. .t.... ...-...r...-.. Z
1-"TsAaehsan Hool 1nausay." kH. Az :
ss-"Pass4 s1S Coz q Uvins.6 III. %kxa. 4
A-'aout%oru Bhrntiry IndaEtdaa.H 4
~ Eors TAX - WorknSnen.N .......... 3
A. PssssAoa sad Ho FE1aaGr.- Eeuasor 4 y.
II
Th1 AH-sn1kx Lssrou-Vr, woaSly. dsvotod 20 ns
dssosDs.sn q al Rhasea OF 10 IHfd qussAen. -
agar. nars pls copies free. Acdrasa Ave- q seA Pro
eaesivo Talk DsASEh, - ". sd &C., feW Xork.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1891-12-18
a pANsY.

A little flower. faded ard Old.
with purple leaves and q heart a gold.
Wrapped In a kerchief white as snow,
fOundit to-day
All wlthercd away
Where ! placed Il FOR keeping years ago.
A story lives IN this pansy's dust,
A story pathetic with youthful trust,
And ! would ] could live II over again.
For Il speaks 20 mo-
Out Of memory
OF a love that wn8swcct. but was all in vain.
The pansy hss faded. az did my dream.
In the years that hayA passed. and yet /
seem.
Through all Of life's hurrying din.
To have kept It's grace
Ia tho hlmy lace
OF tho korchief ! wrapped Il IN.
Gambrell In New Orleans Plcayuno.