The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1891-09-23
What is Good Form /!

Among hints on good form, some Of
the following suggestions may be found
of value: Do not kiss your relatives
on the t. Get, at the house of a mutual
friend, in fact, at any sort of formal
gath ring. Only shake hands warmly
and smile at them. If any one happens
to be supersensitive enough to take
offence, you can afford Indifference, for
an infringement of this rule is under
bred. No matter how eminently a
host or hostt IS may shine in an art, it
is scarcely the thing to make an ex.
hibition of his or her excellence at
home. There are, of course, excep-
tons to this unwritten law of hospi.
tality, but if one is an Indifferent
musician, e,ocutionist, actor, et ceterd,
then one makes a direct demand upon
the poiteress of the que Is in asking
them to play the part of audience.
If, on the other hand, ones accomplish
ments are superlatively fine, they are
apt TO ovorshadow the performar ces of
the rest of the company. Cou tesy
com mands complete surrender of
ones self to ones quo SITS for the time
being. When an eldest son marries
during his widowed mothers etme,
his wife must always use his Christian
of the moi hers being widow does not
in any way affC ct her precedence. She
will be Mrs. Brown as long as she lives,
and the daughter-in-law, Mrs. John
Brown. A widow is not expected to
re-enter society under year after her
bereavement, and she should neither
acco pit nor issue inv itations during this
period. Cards of thanks for kind in
quiries should be sent soon after a
funeral. II is absurd that a young
woman who has never worn a cap be-
fore, should take to wearing one be-
cause she has lost her husband. They
are usually unbeconing, and are not
so much seen as formerly. 1t is not
the correct thing to send in visiting
cards at first visit. 1t seems to i'm
ply doubt as to whether you will be
received or not. 1t would be only
right if you were paying a business call.
If one has been invited to a house,
the hostess is supposed to remember the
visitor. Shaking hands is a courtesy
to often neg ected. Americans seem
to be half afraid of the custom. OF
course, when an introduction takes
place out of doors, on the street, in
shops, or in passing, an inclination of
tie head is all that is necessary, accom-.
panied by smile if one is pleased to
make The strangers acquaintance.
But when the presen'a alton is in ones
own or flierd's house, civility de-
mands a cordial grasp of the hand.
Nothing sets people so much at their
ease, and the grace full performance of
this simple act can be cultivated until
it amounts to a fine art. Always 60
halfway in Offering your hand, with the
palm turned Sill htly upward, and throw
spirit il to the me vemont. Then close
the fingers and thumb with a firm vel
gentle pressure, over those of the other
party. Vigor and warmth should both
be expressed without the slightest ex
aggeration of either sent iment, fol
then The pretty courtesy degenerates
into vulgarity. Tact will dictate Just
how long a hand-shake should last
three seconds, M re or less, being indi.
cative of ones feelings. A very
charming and dignified woman said she
never missed possible opportunity OF
| shaking hands, and when congratulated
on the number of her friends, added
that she honesty believed she had won
two-u irds of her admirers by the way
her fail er had taught her years ago to
compliment people by grasping theil
hands. The Ell glish, who rarely IT,
troduce their guests, and look as
though they would call a policeman il
one ventured to speak without being
prese nted, are gradually adopting the
Amer lean custom of making small
companies known to each other. 1t is
stupid and awkward for both host anC
guest to make the rounds of room
introducing a stranger. Let his or hel
acquaintance grow naturally by max
ing the newcomer known to half 8
dozen in their immediate ne;ghborhood
An introduction is, however, impera-
tive when guests sit near each other at
the table. -American Monthly.