Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1891-10-30
cAuple Leoruags ovga PHONE
Ne. So0r Poses tho Autocrat of the
Telephone Fxcnangs-Wno Is She and

have wire appendage to her ready
organs OF articulation TO deliver long
distance lectures 90 the companys
patrons free OF charge and without any
expectation of thanks.
mo 500 Is known all over the city.
Her lectures are poured into every car,
and no ons has ever been accused Of say
ing that her voice Is low and sweet like
The sighing Of summer zephyr over
blue violet bed.
When man calls up mo 800, he is
monkeyiug with buzz-ssG, so to speak
She puts his feelings In a rhetorical nut
meg CRATER, and smiles sardonic smile
az she feels the fish writhe at the other
end OF the line.
mo 500 is never seen, but che is
often heard She may be old, she may be
young, or she may have struck that
happy medium 10 life when neither the
young man nor the grave has any ter
ross for her. You ask every man you
meet, Rave you ever seen dead muller
He invariably replies, "No, Have you
ever seen No. S00g" de invariably
gives slight start. shakes bis head
sadly, and says mo But have heard
her"
Just when a man wants number in a
hurry and cannot awaken the girl at the
switchboard is when No. 800 springs her
lecture on the unsuspect.ng patron. The
telephone girl may sleep but No. 800
never does. Whenever man calls for
information from mo 800, he recalls
20 mind that beautiful passage In the
Bible, BLESSED Is he who expeeteth but
little, for verify he will not be dlsap-
pointed.
Several days ago. 1t is said. man
rushed excltedly into business place In
this city and asked for permission to use
the telephone II was cheerfully granted,
He walked over to the phone and
"RinR g-g-gp went the bell.
1901 with 300 pleased"
No answer.
1901 with 300m
No answer.
Il want s0Ol connected with 300,
right quickW
The same old silence, without varia-
ton
Hey, there Give 5000 300. will you.
p d qY
The girl WAS evidently reading novel
and did not want to be disturbed.
Say, why don't you give S00l 3002"
Still the same ominous silence. He
wiped the cold sweat from his heated
brow, gets soap box, kneels upon 1t.
raises his eyes to the heavens claspsed his
hands In abjsct fear and whispers
give me No. 800. pleaseS'
"Ring-g.g-gi Y
"Helloi'
IHellon
lis that s009"
or course it's 500; isn't that ths NUN.
ber you asked forf'
/. Eyes
well then, why do you ask such an
extremely foolish question:"
II thought that possibly there might
be some mistake =
We nsver make mistakes
II beg your pardon.
That's what you ought to do. What
do you wAnt2'
II have been trying to get the girl at
the switchboard to connect 5000 with
800. began ringing on the Goth day Of
March, 1t Is now the 28th day OF October
| am tired OF having my meals served
here at the phone, You see my brother"
what do care about your brother2"
Tell me what you want?'
"Well, you See"
mo, don't see--I hear Don't you
know that cant see through several
stone wallsf
Il was simply using form Of speech,
and"
Never mind explaining, krow all
about IT, =
"As was going to say"
"Well, why don't you say itg'
you wont"
Eyes, / will. Don stand so close TO the
phone; stop tapping your fingers on the
battery case stand up straighter, phil
down your vest wipe of your chin, put
ON a clean collar, blow your nose, hold
I'm not deaf Some persons will never
know how TO use a telephone"
"Well, brother is sick, and want to
call doc"
"Well, I'm not doctor. You ought
to know that
II didn't say you were a doc
Yes, you intimated as much Don {
become impudent OF will report you
Well, why didn't you say 50 bsforeg'
II did, but"
mo you didn't, and you know you
didn't. Had You asked for Il you would
have received II As soon as the girls
i AAA1A AAAANA va AAHAA AON4 A.
Ring gg-g-gW
The poor man puts the trumpet to his
ear and yells
"Helloi is that 3009"
Just then his wife comes into the store
and says
ITS too late. dear, It Is too late. he
is dead
The man dropped the trumpet, put hi,
handkerchief to his face and wspt bit
terly AS the grief stricken couple were
passing from the store, the kind hearted
proprietor asked
who Is deadY'
my only brother
What was she matter with himg
SLOW consumption.
when was be taken sick2'
"He had his 6rst hsmorrhags when
asked for 800. "
1T is sad
Yes.
The wife burst out crying. and said
His last words we're Tell John &
put the figure eight and two naughts II
century sprouts upon nay grave.
II was a'sAd occasion for the store
keeper
HIS "oLD WOMAN AND CHUCK.
A Few Remarks Caught Over the 'PhsaI