Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-06-11
CHICAGO's LITERARY JUMP.
Col. Field is Confident that She Is on
the Eve of Getting There With Both
Feet.
Chicago Meas.

Feet.
Chicago Meas.
As producer of literature Chicago
long ago took her place among the ma
tions OF the world. COntempOlaneouS
civilizations, hitherto slow to recognize
her preeminent worth, and enyious,
perhaps. of her sudden and brilliant de-
yelopment, are at last compelled to ac-
knowledge that the position she has
achieved is indeed a commanding one
How shall we see about the endeav-
ors TO which we are inclined?" Is the
question that has been asked over and
over again. This Macedonian CRY has
finally 1--WE rejoice 70 see) been answer
ed by the appearance Of volume en-
titled The Complete Chicago Letter
Writer, with a Glossary"
In order that those who have not YET
possessed themselves OF copies OF this
remarkable work may share our Just en-
tbusiasm over the extraordinary merits
thereof. we present herewith number
of sDecimen letters taken from the book
in question. The first extract is let
ter from a young man to young lady,
declaring his passion and asking her
hand in marriage.
..Mrss ETHEL: Ever since | met you
al the Lake View tennis court day pc
fore Yesterday have been prey TO the
most pieasing tOrmentS. You are ever
present in my thoughts, l could not.
even though / were so disposed, eradl-
cate your image from my heart. Ethel,
love you; love you not with the IN
sipid and mawkiSh passion OF mere
bow. but with the mighty, all-abSorblng
and al-cOntrolling love of mature and
experienced man of twenty-five. Tell
me. idol Of nv soul, will you share with
me the bliss with which matrimonial
cOmpanionShip with you would surely
invest my life? Ransom this bleeding
heart of mine from these exquisite tor
lures by bidding me home that III que
time may require an option on your
maidenly affections, and OelleVe me
ever, beloved Ethel, your o0edlent ana
grOveling admirer. RALPH BUSHBr'
An answer 10 the above, intimatins
favorable disposition to the young man.
"SIR: cannot deny that the peruSal
of YOUR note has engendered within my
bosom Measurable emotions. But girl
must watch out and 90 slow in ouSl-
ness of this kind. Ii is true that we
have known one another for the cOnSld-
cradle period Of two days, but alas, SIR
a woman's nature cannot be read even
in that time. cannot analyze my
sentiments towards you, and-pardon
me if wound your Sensi6illtles-I as
trust YOUR sentiments toward me. AS
the hours and days roll on will not your
feelings change? Will you not weary OF
the love which you now profeSS2 ON,
sir. do not trife with my virgin heart.
Remember what precious thing II IS
YOU are dealing with and asking for.
GA flower. transplanted from above.
Within the female bosom lies;
once touched OF unrequited love,
Il withers, wrinkles up and dies;
But sheltered from the cruel blizzard,
Ii thrives and blooms from TO lizard.
-WOrdSt00rth.
Il fear | have all too plainly betrayed
nv emotions. yet what | have said goes.
| shall live ages till l see you at the
Thomas concert tonight; meanwhile L
return your SalutatiOnS with accrued
interest, ETHEL"
A letter diScouraging the advances OF
a lover.
.sSrE. Inever tumbled to your racket
until / GOT your note to-day Never
suspected You meant biz. Am awful
sorry to have miSled you, but, honestly
you're not in il this time. Mr.. McGlory
has got the call on you; he cornered me
last June. and I'm out Of sight. Let
me be a sister TO you, for more than a
sister can never be. Truly yours,
ETHEL BABCOCK."
To a father touching an affair du
cOsur:
RESPECTED SIR: Nv attentions to
YOUR daughter Mabel for the last two or
three days must have convinced you
that am not wholly insenSible to the
charms OF that best, pureSt, and bright
est OF the feminine sex. Sir, l am
wildly enamored of the same; naught
but the dew of death can quench the
flame which her beauty has kindled in
nv breast. | address you these lines
10 crave your permission to continue
these addresses which may eventually
transport 70 ElySium your obedient,
dutiful and humble servant,
RICHARD z. BAKER"
An answer 10 the above, calling for a
bill of particulars.
DIR. SIR: Yours reed. and contents
noted. Would suggest that, before
proceeding further with this deal, you
send me an inventory of what you've
got in stock. Suppose you get Mabel;
how are YOU going TO keep her going?
I'm lot going to run home for the in
digent, although if the wheat market
continues active l may be able to do the
handsome thing by the girl when she
Jumps the broOmstick. Excuse my can
dor, but guess you'll have To put up or
shut up. Yrs. truly.
J. NJ. LATuERS.'
An answer 20 the foregoing, convey
ing specific Information.
"HoNoREp SIR: Although | revolt
at what would be construed as bar
gain. l hasten 10 answer your friendly
letter. and beg TO say that if certain
business deals have engaged into result
as hope aud expect, / shall be able 10
maintain a wife in comfort, if not in
elegance. ! have One-tifth interest in
ticket No. I6,204 Of the LouiSina lot
terry, three tickets in the rattle for Paul
Hull's hand-painted fish service, and a
thirty day option on 1900 bushels OF
spring wheat. Furthermore. wealthy
maiden aunt living at Lynn, Mass, has
been suffering with a tum0r for many
wears. and cannot hold out much
longer. My salary is SIP per week. and
l generally manage 10 pull out from
SEQ 20 $50 per week more
hnu lnR l.