davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-08-27
FROM BAD TO WORSE.

Ethei-What do you think of Joblot's
engagement to Miss Sears?
Jack-He might do worse.
Ethel-He will-he is going to marry
bnr
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-08-27
HIS LITTLE DODGE.

Cutely-Here comes Cynicus. See me
get u cigar from him. lights a cigar
ette.)
Cynicus (as Cutely puf's the smoke in
his face)-Whew! How can you smoke
those things? Here, take this cigar and
threw that away Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-08-27

The professor of logic Ito hiaself)-I
laid my hat somewhere in this room.
Nobody has come in since I've been
here | can't see it anywhere, therefore
Quitting his hand beneath HIM, / have
sat on it. Another proof of the irresist-
ible power of logic Lt'liegende Blat-
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-08-27
HIS INFERENCE.

81 tell you frankly" said the young
lady to the young journalist, that YOU
company is agreeable to me, but | am
sure papa will not permit me to receive
any attention from you, for he is awfully
down on the newspapers"
"He is down on the newspapers, is
hep said the young journalist, smiling
"What scrape has he been in?'-[ New
York Press
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1891-08-27
lie TOOK THE HINT.

Jack (strolling home from the evening
rvices)-There used to be law in New
England prohibiting kissing on Sunday.
Maude (coyly)-Well, it isn't in force
now, is it, Puck.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
Remarkable Ruins In Arizona.

Antiquarisns are very much interested
in the discovery of an aboriginal fort il
the valley of the Gila, about ninety miles
below Phoenix. Ariz. The discovery was
made by some miners who became lost il
the desert. 1t is the largest and most pc.
culiar structure found in the valley. The
ruins lie about four and one-half miles
back from the Gils rive, and cover about
a mile square. In the centre is the fort
still in remarkable state Of preservation
1t covers an area of about six acres, and
is built in very peculiar way. The first
table is about twenty feet in height and is
made OF dirt, with wall of boulders laid
in cement around the outside. On top OF
this. and of the same height, though only
half the size otherwise, Is the second
table, walled up as the first. On this is a
smaller one Of the same height, and on
top of that is the fort proper, constructed
of stone. The edges of the tower tables
were used as gardens, and around the
walls are hundreds of boulders brought
from the river, doubtless for the purpose
of casting down on the heads of foe.
In the top fort are many skeletons and
human bones, and in all probability the
place was besieged and the people died
of starvation A ditch four and one-half
miles in length runs by the base of this
structure and brought water from the
Gila. 1t is well defined and about thirty
feet In width, though no water runs
through it,
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
You We Thought.

Some one meant 10 9e mean = -1 ta-y
hadn't the leas: thought Of II.
You were brave and said 50, and cried
out Justify when sorrow came your way
Your conscience was leaing you right
when you had drugged II months ago
You were going to be very happy when
you reached q certain age and you We
been disillusioned.
You could be just little wicked with
out somebody's knowledge. and il al
stood out a. plain as black letters on
white paper.
You knew all about certain person and
found out you knew only what you were
told, which didn't amount 70 much.
About the eide word" text after you
have talked great deal Of nonse
You couldn't be mean 10 some one, and
then you've teen friendly when you were
not feeling friendly and called yourself 6
hypocrite.
The birds were singing for your discom
fort when you Eel! blue.
The person who stared At you, very rude
until you remembered you had been intro
duced, and were acting rudely yourself
Your home life was an unusually unhap
py one until you began boarding.
| Haven't youf-Toronto Globe.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
A Boy Adopted by a Cow.

letter from Kansas has a surprising
story, my friends. 1t tells me of a COW
who, when she had lost her calf, showed
so much sorrow that it awakened the sym
pathy Of her owners fourteenyear old
son, and he showed her some slight kind
ness. The grateful cow at once became
fond of him, watched for him as she
would for her calf and since then she
has shown her pleasure whenever be
comes near her. Indeed no one bat this
boy can manage the poor animal, and
wonderful stories are told of her devo
ton to him. The Kansas papers say that
lately the boy had occasion to go to a
neighboring town, and as he remained
away until after milking time, his sister
not daring to approach the COW in any
other way, decided to personate her
brother. So she put on suit OF bis
clothes and went into the barnyard. The
girl succeeded IN deceiving the cow until
the boy was seen coming up the road,
when instantly the indignant animal kick
ed the pail over and ma lie bound in the
direction of the youth, showing unmis-
taxable evidences Of acknowledgements
St. Nicholas.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

The Hon. Henry II. Fsx9n, u nsssa
chusetts, Introduced the following reso4u
ton " the meeting Of stockholders Of Ii.
O.d Colony railroad at Boston, Septem
Der ~
Hss1lred That an order be pr0mulgat
ed by She board u directors " every sta
ton agent Oh the Old Col0ny's ysriou,
Lines that they shall report ~ the presl
dent the names Of any PARSONS employed
al their respective stations who use intox
eating liquors a. q beverage.
Many smiles greeted the presentation u
this motion, but they had q vanished ~
the time Mr.. Fsxon aad finished MS re.
mark, w1lch were g. follows maze
this motion said Mr. Fa1On, "oecAuse
have known several station agents and
their employees " De drunk while engaged
10 the performance Of their duties, sud
could psme three OF four men al the sta
ton 10 lglincy who nave been under the
influence Of liquor when they were order.
lng men about, or supposed - be boxing
out Tor the trains that pass through ths,
place. have the names on my note 1oOk
u station agents and luggage masters
VINO get drunk when Oh duty. II sny
sOcgholder wants drunken mau 10
charge 81 any station Oh the Old Coiony
road, don't. ! want al order from head
quarters that will reach these men. That.
why offer this u otion. know BIZ per.
sonal experience how Twas are ieopsrdiz.
ed. WAS on train awhile ago q, sub
urban station, when the train crashed
through gate. The man whose duty il
ass 70 look after It Was drunk note
thai on various railroads some such order
or rue exists, although sometimes il
doesn ! amount - much These things
that have tod You are true. I've seen
II, AMI lis 10 Use trying = orowbea. me
out Of it.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

Som readers may not understand how
this Daniel lived In Norrldgewock a
Skowh hogan Falls The original east lins
+ Norridgewock ran between Samue
/ PhilDricks house where his son william
now lives ! think, and the house next
east OF it. When the change was made
| cannot say, but judge II was as late at
1880. This Daniel Stewards house was
On the Elder Miller place at the foot Of
the Neil hill. He was one of the Ap
praisers Of my fathers estate, and hie
handwriting shows that he was an educat
ed man. think he was Justice Of the
! esce and surveyor. II am not mis-
taken his brother Benjamin lived few
rods further east, the place where Col
Moses Jewett lived and died, which
think was included In Alonzo Coburn &
first purchase of land. After the bridge
was built he was the first Toll gatherei
and lived in the little toll house on the
Island.
The daughter Sally became the wife OF
Rev Samuel Bickford. 1t was not my
plan to extend these sketches TO the third
generation, but will add that Dsniel 49,
was thu successful merchant OF Arson
where he acquired handsome property
was state senator and Influential In poll
tics. believe he lived To oil age and
died In Skowhegan. The other 2broihers
mostly settled in that town they Were 3
strong hardy race.
1t is understood that the Dsu.el Sew
ard who came to Canaan in llij, ami est-
tied on the north side of the river sboF,
the Falls, had full lot OF land, 200 acres
The eastern boundary was probably The
town line of Norridgewock as explained
above. Where Hiram S. Steward now
lives it extended from Madison street tC
the Neil farm which was its western
boundary for its whole extent. Thus ii
included quite an important part Of the
village.
EBES WESTON.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12


A dramatic critic in "A desultory con
versation the other night said he Won
dered why Cinderella wore glass slip
pers; he never saw any one dance il
glass slippers, and he didn't believe amy
one could dance in glass slippers. One
man suggested that it was Il fairy tale
Another man made every one tired 10y
talking Of malleable glass. He remarked
that he once saw Pittsburs lady in &
glass gown. The manager, a distln
Suished Gallcist-he once went 10 schoo
with Tartarin at Tarascon-said she
never did wear glass slippers,
lyon See, he explained, "Cinderelli
was indebted to translator's mistak,
for her uncomfortable pumps This de
hghtful Extravaganza was originally
French and the man who Englished i
didn't know his business The Frencl
words are 'pantoutles de vair'-fur slip
pers Now the word for glass is 'verre
and the English chump got 'em mixet
up."-Chicago Tribune.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
All Kinds OF Folks.

The best workers are those WHO have
best learned how to rest.
There are still mer on earth who keep
the devil on the keen jump every minute
The prayer of the man who ought TO
roll up his sleeves snd go to work is 81
ways 50 heavy that it goes down instead
Of up.
There is not man above ground who
is not some kind of fool.
There are people who are never so hap.
py as when they are being humbugged
No womsn ever enjoys much peace OF
mind who msrries 8 siouch.
There are good many millionaires il
the church who are not likely to have
much spending money in heaven.
| There are people who have to slmos
! live on bread and water who would hsvt
more bresd If they would drink more
water.
Don't put yourself in the power Of s
man who will work horse with sore
shoulder Rams Horn.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
Casual Reflections,

Nothing makes US go to working the
gold mines within US like adversely.
The man who needs 8 newspaper the
most is generally the hrst to stop it,
Men who spend more for tooscco thar
they give to the missionary csu-e never
do the Lord much good by shouting il
church.
The man who is alwsys around is the
one who be wouldn't have made the
same mistake You did il he had been in
your place.
The real follower of Christ is always
resdy to go st his own expense.
Jesus Christ never tried TO make a bar
gain with any man to follow him st SO
much month.
The devil is always sure Of cstching s
good many different kinds of hsh when
he bats with money,
The world is full of people who would
rather 60 TO hell in their own way than
60 to heaven in your way.
The laws which are most 10 force srt
not those that ale printed in statute
books.-Ram's Rorn.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

An old lady from the way back regions
came to the city to do some trading.
As she looked around the elegant store
with vague wonder, dandy floor wake.
approached her.
What can do for you to day. mad.
amp
al wanter go to the place where you sell
dry goods"
at is right here, madam. What kline
of dry goods do you want?"
Dried apples, mister
And for once floor walker was non
plussed,
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
For the Reporter
Something About Pensions,

There seems to be growing dissatis-
faction among many because the expens-
es of the Pension Department are increas-
ing, aud because SO many new names OF
ex-solders are daily being added to the
rolls. Some even go so far as to claim
that halt should be called, that the gov
eminent is OVERRIDING the business and
that the direct result will be large body
of idlers living upon government patron
age.
You who find fault and say that the
government ought not 20 lavish so many
millions upon the ex-soldiers OF the Re.
public, and by doing so is creating class
of helpless dependents who ought not to
be helped and have no right to be helped
do you stop to think that you are part
of this country and that M part you owe
these ex soldiers something's Do you
know that during that great struggle
great battles were fought, sacrifices made
sutferngs endured, all Tor you and poster
ty that will come after your And dc
you bear in mind that these eX-soldiers
who are now walking in your midst, moi
In the youthful flush and robust health
that they had when they marched to the
front thirty years ago, but with locks sill
vered with gray. with steps fast becom
ing intlrm, with ills rapidly accommodating
the germs of which were sown in the sys
TEN while marching and picketing ano
camping and skirmlshing and fighting
these ex-soldiers will not always stay her,
to receive the aid that in too many cases
is begrudged them. Oh no, they will moi
trouble you and those who come after you
a great many years longer. The veterans
that with steady nerve and undaunted
courage rolled up to the battle front al
Manassas and Fair Oaks and Malvern Hill
and Antietam and Fredicksburg and Get
tysburg and hundreds of other hare
fought fields are rapidly passing away
Grant gone, Sherman gone, Sheridan NJ
more, Mcclellan, Burnside, Thomas
Hooker and Meade and large majority
of those who wore the uniform of Major
Generals, have been mustered out. -,
600 pensioners stricken from the rolls tn,
past year because of death,
All too soon a grateful country will say
of the survivors of the great battlefield
of the war, as was said of the heroes o
the Revolution, 1.-THE last one is gone,
And you, with those who may entertain
the same uDjusJ opinions, will be relieve'
of the burden of knowing that the Gov
eminent is dealing justly and generousl!
with the defenders of the Republic.
S. +. +.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

The deans Office at Harvard is, from
the nature of affairs. a purgatory. A
summons" to the dean means that there
is trouble for the man who is summoned
The high court of justice sits in the
deans office. That is, it does SO far II:
the undergraduates know, for here ar.
delivered all the courts decisions. Al
one time in the history of Harvard col
lege there hung in the room Of every I'M
dergraduate cartoon. 1t was pictur'
of ~ 5"-the deans Office.
A grinning Mephistopheles stood a
the door welcoming long line of con
demned wretches. Over the door wa
this legend, "Who enters hero leaves al
hope behind" Nearly every man wh'
in recent years has left Harvard colleg
in disgrace has left hope behind when HI
last entered the door Of ~ New
York Tribune
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

A knife, a fork, and q spoon were
were thrown together upon the kltchen
table by careless servant. The Fork
eyed his companions with disdain, and be
gan talking in very patronizing manner;
"How dreadfully dull you must nhu
life. now that you are so out Of the swim,
he said to the spoon.
why, in what way do you mean thai
am out OF the swimT' queried the spoon
in quiet voice.
"uh, you are comparatively little usec
nowsdays,n answered the fork, loftily
Time was when the knife, fork and
spoon were quite important IN their way
but now the fork is the only necessary
table implement"
How perfectly absurd such state
ment is - cried the knife, Indignantly.
But is is quite like your egotism. Who
ever heard you mentioned save as second
10 me. A knife and a fork people say,
never fork and knife That shows
where your place is in the estimation OF
the public"
"On, that is merely habit Of speech
into which people have fallen returned
the fork. at does not alter facts. You
very well know that you often lie unnot-
ICti dDu uuuStd Hh
or until the cheese comes on. Indeed.
Yesterday you were left in the drawer,
while did the honors of luncheon that
our mistress gave TO friend.
You forget gently interposed the
spoon; Il was there, and | saw the lady
look about as If seeking something. | am
quite sure she missed addressing
the knife with sympathetic air which
No. hra.Aipu al haAri
lady remark that one felt very uncom-
Portable at table without knife, whether
one needed 1t OF not"
Il would rather my absence than my
presence were regretted" cried the knife,
fairly glistening with rage, and casting
cutting glance at the fork.
"On, well, when you are wanted, 1t Is
only to prepare things for me. You are a
sort of under servant to make things easy
for me, said the fork, aggravstingly, and
adding, ~ am the only one who can be
called real table aristocrat.'
lam sure your family is much newer
than mine,' retorted the knife. II can
trace my pedigree back as far as history
goes. That is more thsn you can do
This threw the fork into terrible wrath
and he began to mske great noise and
fuss; when the mistress entered the lkitch-
en-.
What is all this rafting of the silver
that hear, Bridget" she asked, and i'm
medately she cried out "Oh, here you
have thrown a fork down with q knife
and spoon. l have told you over and ov-
er again not to do that By the way,
see that the plate is wearing of this fork
Bridget. You may put it aside amongst
the cooking utensils
So the proud fork Was thereafter kept
in kitchen drawer, and put to menisl
uSpS.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
Truth, All of II.
Waterville Democrat,

watervile is inflicted quite frequently
with tramp stores That is, parties
get together lot of shop worn goods
and occupy vacant store just long
enough 10 I'LL the town with goods thai
are cheap in every way except price
The last one to leave was firm which
left town last week. Previous to this q
firm opened up Cheap hardware store
in Canibus block, The business of sell
ing out" a mess of trash sometimes called
bankrupt stock is profitable when con
Germ can strike place where the people
are willing to pay well for second quality
goods. Buy goods of merchants who
are not strangers and you will always get
your moneys worth.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

This is the great problem in lite which few
satisfactorily solve, some fa.. because uf poor
health, others want II lack. but the majority
f!l'n want Of sri,-w4n; u nerve. Iaey are
nervous. irreso.ute, eaaaSeab.e, easily se, the
o.4cs. AID take the spiri:s down TO Keep the
,QlT.:s Up, thus wasting money, time. oppor-
tAuity aid nerve force. There Is nothing like
the Restorative Ner> inc. discovered by the grea'
spe. .alIst, pt. Miles. TO cure all nervous dis
eases. such as headache, the blues, nervous
prostratun, sleeplessuess, neuralgia, s.. Ni;us
Dance. ITS aud hys,er!a. Ira! bottles and tue
book Of les umon.als free at Ii. W. Cushings
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
-DANAs Is GUARANTEED TO CURE"

Mr.. Pipkhsm-"How do you do. Mrs
Willis, You are the last person l expect
ed to see in Florence" Mrs. Willis
why il il isn't Mr.. Pinkham. Yes, W.T.
are spending the winter here You mus
call on US often. You know just how Il
is-persoDs We never think much of Will,
st home seem like dear friends when W,
meet them in a strange place. - Harper
| BsZar.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12
A Cautious Lover

John Shorger has been paving his al
tentions to Miss De Smyth He has come
very nesr proposing several times bu,
did not dare risk it for fear she might
refuse to accept the nomination. He got
sroun it very nicely. however, while es-
corting her home from church. He said
Miss De Smyth, if there is anything
in the world dislike ii is to have q Young
lady refuse me. | wish you would tel
me If you would say yes in case wert
to ask your hand in marriage"
She suggested that he try H. but b,
thought he had better wait awhile unit
be could see his way more clearly .-Tex
as Siftings.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

An experience that probably can't be
duplicated is claimed by the Boothbay
Register for Elder II. b. Seavey Of Noun,
Vernon, Second Advent preacher. The
Register says; Mr.. Seavey saw his greai
grandmother married and performed tn.
marriage ceremony of her son when tn,
son was Sc years old. Elder Seavey's faith.
er Is now living and was % years old Sat
urday, Nov. /. The Elder has seen sever
grandfathers and grandmothers and hi,
oldest sister saw eleven.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

I-e experiments made 8, Cornell Uni.
vers..s : and in France "a ascertain the
eff - Il the electric light unou vegetation
have : monstIated is wonderful proper
" Of greatly stimulating almost every va
riety Of vegetable life. The colors of
flowers ale intensified, and SD increased
Weld Of fruits and vegetables Of nearly
loo Ger cent has been ob'sined, without
Diminishing the odor OF thejformer or the
latter. lhs parts Of the soil are more SC
lively dissolved by the influence Of the
light, and aIr thus o.-ughi within reach
of the roots
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

DR.. Parkes once took three soldiers and
made them march twenty miles day,
loaded with guns, pouch, knapsack, etc.
for six days. They had the same food on
each day, but on two days he gave them
brandy and water, on two DAYS coffee,
and on the other two, weak beef.tea to
drink. All three said that brandy revived
them for time. but they were more tired
after they had taken brandy than they
0eEe Altar taking Cote O. boo1-teA
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

The Pansy for ovember-Perfectly
charming is the November number of this
delightful magazine. Toe hastiest glance
convinces US that this is the magazine TO
put into the hands Of our young people.
Its "Pansy S. c. E." IAN Along the
Line" and THE Little Gard" continue ell
evating and inspiring - ever. and WAY
Stations" further account Of our dear
little friends who were twenty minutes
late, is begun, IS we'll As Margaret Sid
ney's Little Paul; and The Frisbis
School," Most fascinating In baby sim
plicity and tenderness is what Made
Baby Laugh" in Baby's Corner The Pan
sy is still unsurpassed. 500 per year
! 10 cents q number. d. Lothrop Company
/ Boston, are the publishers.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

Why trees, or other plants, grow erect
has never yet been definitely determined
1t has been supposed to have some rela.
ton to the action Of light. Certainly q
plant usually growing erect turns toward
any opening for light In q dark cellar, bu.
when there is no light they grow erect
DR.. Maxwell s. Masters has recently call.
ed attention to some cases In an English
coal mine 1000 feet deep. Some props
made from green posts pushed out into
growth. and. though In absolute darkness
they were perfectly erect. They were
perfectly blanched.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

The Maine pulp mill men are finding
that the lime rock from Rockland answer,
their purpose fully, much to the delight
Of the quarry owners. There ought to be
no need of sending to Ohio for it any
longer. Maine should furnish this ms.
terial anyway, and as she can do it cheap.
y there ought to be no question abou,
the matter in the future,
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1891-11-12

Nearly eight years ago, H. II. Bowles
Of Cherry field, plated in his garden 5
small towering shrub known as the Vie
CELIA. Near the shrub grew a green gage
and cherry tree. In the course of time
the Wiegelia put forth cherry blossoms
but bore no fruit this year 1t bloomec
into green gage and bore fruit Of tina,
| variety.