The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-03-22
TIE LIME KILN CLUB.

Every Day Language Good Enough for
Members.
Some time since, as Samuel Shin was
cleaning up Paradise hall in readiness
for the usual weekly meeting, he flung a
pan of ashes out of one of the windows
fronting on the alley, and the same de-
scended upon the head of Colonel Inquirer
Jones, who was about to enter the hall.
There has been bad blood between the
pair in consequence, or, rather, the colo
mel has wasted a great deal of time in
trying to catch Samuel in some lonely
locality. Odds of ten to one have been
! given that he would succeed, but at the
! last meeting, to the surprise of every
body, he walked up to Brother Shin and
! extended his hand and waved the flag of
/ peace. This action was brought about
by a telegram announcing the death of
his mother in North Carolina. Two
hours later he beard that she had been
dead thirteen years when the telegram
was sent, but he was not the man to go
back on his word.
'Gemlen," said Brother Gardner, as
the meeting came to order, 81 hev few
words of advice to offer which | hope
will be keerfully listened to an inn
pecuniously considered. has observed
tendency on de part of many members
of dis club to affeck what may be tarmed
de Shakspearian style of conversashun.
It Gums from de white folks, of co'se-
from dat class who has been suddenly
elevated by de profits Of sewer con-
tract, an should be sot down on wild de
most vigorous disqualification. 1t hain't
in keepin' wild de financial an soshul
standin' of man who has to black
stoves an lay on whitewash at an aver
age income of seben dollars week.
want it stopped"
Judge Cahoots, Whyfore Davis, Inde-
pendence Jones and others began to look
very serious.
Fur instance" continued the presi-
dent, show many members of dis club
know de meanin' of de term, ITO pog-
nosticate toward de emblematical indi-
yiduality? an yit, at de party given at
my house de odder night, I heard it ut
tered no less dan fo teen times. What's
de use of a man airnin' dollar day
obsarvin' dat he expecks to condescend
to the irresponsible endeavor befo'
, spring? He doan know whether it means
: dat cranberries am gwine up to fo'ty
cents a quart or will drap down to six,
an his nearer goes home an can't sleep
fur thinl1in' about it. Sich conversashun
simply implacates resinous disinc1ina-
ton to absorb the proper desideratum.
, Ripples of excitement with suppressed
cries of Hear! hear!"l
eff any of you," continued the presi-
!. : dent, as he laid aside his coat, "has an
ideah dat de yuse of SIGH words as bonn
+ bastic, delirium tremens, Cato, incense.
quential, Dante, Boston, impugn, re.
taliate or postmaster gineral elevates
D you in de corruptible an imperious esti
e mashun of Vanderbilt an Gould you is
precariously mistaken. When member
of dis club comes to me an wants tt
. borry tablespoonful of forty cent green
tea, kase de preacher am gwine to be tc
his cabin fur supper, want him to sol
o down on de aige of cheer, look me in
r de eye an Civ it to me in plain English
!; He needn't spect me to heap up dc
. measure bekase he uses SIGH words as
b abdicate, absquatulate. Cesarism an
Y primeval incalculate."
y More ripples, during which Colone
f Cahoots managed to kick Sir JOIN
b Smythe on the shin, and thus pay off al
9 old grudge.l
i ''If had a son twenty Vars OLE" sale
: the president, as he looked up and dowr
), the aisles, can he should cum HON,
o some day wild his whitewash brush OF
. his shoulder an inform me dat de graft
d ficashun of de Incompatible synta11 hat
Q withdrawn its objecshuns to de planet
r airy affiliashun, do you know what
! would do? Iwould riz up an put m,
e No. 1875 agin him wild SIGH auxiliary rep
: rehensibility dat he would percolate d.
It longitudinal cumulative fur six weeks tx
cum. OAR bein' no furder bizness befo
de club until its recent communicative
l. to de legislachur' is answered, we vii
i. redundate homeward." - Detroit Free
y Press.
g Peterson g. Brown, signs, painting
r paper hanging and kalsomining. 63 Yves
s First South.