The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-07-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A mile is the centipede of distance; it
has $3.50 feet Washington Star.
There's millions in it-1'ho United
States Treasury. " Washington Star.
The rolling stone gathers no moss; but
it manages to keep on top, for all that.
The xylophone player is the fellow
who makes the 'woods ring. ."-States-
man.
A man can call his body an earthly
tenement, and yet object to being called
a fat.-Puck.
1t was a mean artist who suggestively
painted dairy in water colors.-Rich-
nond Recorder.
The honey bee deserves recognition as
(N. ~ Gasette.
Though some women have golden
hair, Others have but plated hair
Je,ooller'S Circular.
1t is probable that many jolly dogs
will have barl1s on the sea this summer.
-Ne,O York. Herald.
A manufacturing dentist often shows
his teeth without smiling or opening his
mouth. h.-Me,O York Journal.
Iron is good fer the blood, but no
man likes to have it administered IN the
form of carpet-tacks.
A man never realizes until he has made
fool of himself what laughter loving
world this is.-Atchis0n Globe.
He-"NIiss Sharpe has very fine
voice" She-"No wonder. She grinds
1t so much. ."-DetrOit Free Press.
Don't uuder-rate modest ability. The
needle has only one good point; but VIC
couldn't get along without it.-Puek.
The good artist is known by his work,
! but the poor artist is obliged to grow his
hair long to be identified. - Statesman.
''Is there anything brilliant about
Prozer's writlngs2" "Yes-the stars
between the paragraphs. - Chicago
Herald.
Frank-"Stellas face is her fortune"
Tom-"Yes, but she's given too many
certified checks to time. ."--Ne0 York
Herald.
"Blitturs began life as school
teacher" "Reatlyl" What a preco-
cious little baby he must have been. >
Neso York. Sun.
There's nothing like sticking to a
thing when you apply yourself to it, as
the fly said when it alighted on the fly
paper. .-Teras Sytings.
Little Kitty (who is doing the honors
and wishes to be very pompous)-"Will
you have CHECKING or mutting, Mr..
Brown2'-Har0ard Lanapoon.
No, Ethel, you are mistaken. The
phrase, ga literary treat" has no refer
ence to the setting up of books by the
printer.-LRaiaHdpolis Journal.
"Tastes differ" said NIugley. "Good
thing they do, put in Bottleton. "Ii
they didn't squills and Strawberries would
taste tho same. ."-No,o YOrE Sua.
Jack Witherspoou-"Why do you sing
all the time" Jim Westhall-"To kill
time" Jack Witherspo7n-"You have
a good weapon. "-Prheet0R Tiger.
Some people are born musicians,
others achieve music and Others live next
door to the man who hopes to play the
cornet in the village band.--Elmird
(N ~ Gazette.
Young Wife-''We are told to cast
our bread upon the waters. ~ The Brute
-'But don't you do it. A vessel
might run against it aud get wrecked. !"
-NeO York Herald.
Mistress trying on one Of her new
gowns) )-"Norah, how does this dress
itl" Norah (without looking upl-
''Not very well, mem. / found it LITTLE
tight under the arms. - Chicag0 Tribitle.
"Pm going to turn out this gas, " said
the old man, coming into his room where
sat his daughter and her young mar.
Thanks" said the unabashed young
man, ~ was just going to do it myself. "
-B0stOH Herald.
"Don't you think" said one of the
doctors, "that il would be a good idea
to have the study of medicine carried on
under the supervision Of the Govern-
mentl' ~ suppose" replied the other
doctor, thoughtfully, "that it might c
turned over to the interior department. 4"
--Ne,O York Post.
cr-yOu know, was
talking to- called on Miss Laura last
night Mr.. Fjgg-''Ies, l know you
did-the fourth time in one week, be-
.ieve. Why don't you come aud live
with us, aud be done with itl' Tim
mins-''That's just what 1 wanted to see
you about. ."-LRdjaaap0lis Journal.