The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-08-29
BRIGHT BITS.

EVER notiSe how easily chicken gets rat
Yes, Alvasssare to lose its Chicago
TIE ghautauaua dress reformers assert that
"corsets- basefilled more graves than whisky. "
1t doesnr pay 20 get tight by any means-Chi-
TELEsR6ES OrrRAEosesy eulI have to pay
| this iRa dgaAea-l rs 6
siiunson-why. thorght yeueIways sent tel
egrsph messaEesF on zen HzBtn0hGmton Re
JUsTIcRAExp plain bow your neghbor's chick
ems came to befound in your coop.
BreF Coop-Yot honor, dem nius went in dat
yer coo3 otdst own accod, an de do blew shut
-BsooklsH EttesA
SHE is Rosie. the miller's daughter;
She is pretty but cruel still;
And the signs OF her score of lovers
Turn the saAs.of her fathers mill.
MNF1Y F. Judge.
MAN wahssyalst Middle here pelow,
IND he don't vas hard to blease;
But yomsns. pless her liddle soul,
Wants effery ding she sees.
e Ft oil City Blizzard.
"Tr WAS tight squeeze for me" said Bienks.
as he finished the story of his adventure, and
an old maid listener whispered softly to her
| self iktT
If had only been there ''-Somervile Jour
| nal -+-~ 4
DR.. PRINGLE-Ihe trouole with you, Mr..
Blubberton. is that you don't take enough ex-
| ercise.
Blubberton-Ah, doctah. that's vewy absurd,
| ye know. Ne valet walks five miles evewy day
| of me life.-Judge.
Mas. DE GRAMPcEY-wEere did you get your
divorce. Mrs Downey-in Chicago?
Mrs Downey-No; In South Dakota.
Mrs. de Grampcey-Is that SO? l must try
South Dakota next time. Ono gets welded SO
| easily to Chicago in such matters.-JudJe
HERE you are up again for the fifth time
You don't seem to succeed very well in keeping
sober and working hard. "
Your honor that's something I've not tried
yet. There is no telling bow man will succeed
at business until he tries. ''-Terds Sifffnos.
4 PENNSYLVANIA LAWYER of the last century
who was as fertile in resource as he was strong
IN personality, was retained for the defendant
in Islander case. The plaintiffs case was so
clear that it was no use attempting TO dispute
the facts; so the defendant S counsel called wit
neSseS to prove that lis client such no
torious liar that no one in the neighborhood
would believe word he said, and he put it to
the jury that nothing Sucn a man could say
would lnlure any one. The verdict was for the
dant!-LoNdOn JurtSt
MRS ANDREW LANG relates this diverting
story: I'm the days of my childhood friend
of my own was informed by favorite house
maid that she wished to give warning, as she
was going to be married. Indeed, said the
lady, and what is your future husband?'
Please m, he's an asksr' A whatY AN
asker I don't understand What does he do9
Well, m, he-he goes about the streets, and il
he sees any one coming along that looks kind
newell be just stops EN- and asks 'em to give
him a trifla. enG he makes quite a comtorta bls
living that wayi DO you mean a begsarY'
Well, M some people do call 1t that we cali 10
asker '-Netp York krepfn0 Post.
LAwYER-Now, Mr.. Costello, will you have the
goodness to answer me. directly aud cstegori-
caliy. a few plain questions!
Mitness-Yes, sir.
Lawyer-Is there a female at present living
with you who is known in the neighborhood as
Mrs Costellos
Witness-Yes, sir.
Lswyer-Have you ever been married to her?
Witness-No, sir (Here several Jurors
scowled gloomily at the witness
Lawyer That is all, Mr.. Costello; you may 90
down.
Opposite Lawyer-One moment, Mr.. Costello.
Is the lady in question your grandmother
Witness-Yes, sir.-Chicdgo Legal Adviser.