Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1891-03-09

And sing, if you can, a. you 90;
Your song may cheer some one behind You
Whose courage is sinking low.
And, well. if your lips do culver
God win love you better So
There is only one competent teacher IN
Journalism, Professor Experience.
The inventor of fire extinguisher is
dead. Now he can see how it is himself.
Now that Sitting Bull is dead the Sioux
tribe probably will not be quite so pow
wOwerful.
Did the fish man have frogs legs, Bridg-
ct? Sure, 1 couldn't see, mum; he had
his pants on.
Birds of Il feather generally flock tos
gether, but geese and ducks are found in
divers places.
There are a good many people who are
always away from home when good OPP
portunity knocks.
You never quite comprehend how mean
other people are until you compare them'
with yourself.
Johnson-And so JimsOn has gone to
his reward? Bronson-Yes, poor fellow,
I'm afraid he has.
There are some people in this world
who would not be satisfied if they were
perfectly contented.
At 20 a man thinks he knows it all; at
80 he merely thinks he could have known
it all if he had tried.
The prediction of the ground hog for
six more weeks of cold weather IS Great
ing much attention.
lam not in it, remarked the poor wo-
man as she gazed fondly on sealskin
sack in the shop window.
When a man tells you he would like to
have you criticise his faults, you have
found another hypocrite.
Johnuie-Pa, what kind of ships require
the most coal? Pa with meaning look
at his grown up daughter)-COurtships.
Jinks-Has there been any scarcity OF
money in Europe? Winks-There was with
me. had to come back in the Storage
But you have no ancestors, We know
said his lordship No, replied Miss Lake
view. We have the advantage of you
there.
Mother of spoiled child am greatly
Obliged to you for bringing my little boy
back. Organ grinder fraida he teacha
munka bada tricks.
Modern Matron-Who is this Mr.. Hug
hard. nv dear? Modern Daughter-HoW
should 1 know, ma? I've only been en-
gagged to him week.
Wiggins-It's said that Goodfcllow alb
solutely throws his money away. DO yo'
believe it? Stiggins-Well, L heard HI
lent you some last night.
Aunt Mary-Poor Bess, does your tootl
ache yet? If it were mine, dear, l woul'
have it out at once. Bess-lf 1t Wer
yours? Well auntie, SO would L.
If your coffee is muddy at the break
fast table, don't blame the cook, Their
has been an earthquake i'll Java and tn
grounds have been stirred up.
She-What a wonderful thing Is nature
How grand! How comprehensive! He
ddS even Lit Sl1ldllCoO PiNAN - 80
smallest insect has got Latin name.
Mrs. Cobwigger-Did you ever find
man under the bed? Mrs. Merritt-Yes
the night we thought there We're burglar
in the house, 1 found my husband there
Whatever been cryin' fer, Jimmy? NJ
mudder been lickin' me. What fer! Sh
is goin' away to-day, an she says sh
wants to leave good impreshun behin(
A plain man in "A prayer meeting OF
church said, Brethren, we all want tn
Lords way to prevail, but we all want
be on the committee of ways and mean
Tangle-I heard that your next do'
neighbor has good organ. Do you kno
how many stops it has? Bronson-On
about three a day, and those are not vel
long ones.
..John,- said u lady to her new coac
man. as he was on his way to the polls
vote, ..are you going to exercise the fra
chise to-day?' (Which of the horses
that, mum?' inquired John.
Mabel-This is the season of amGs
ments. Ethel-Yes, we had hop and
small circus ut our house last night. NJ
bel-Indeed! Ethel-Yes; pa stepped
a tack when he was going to bed.
Yes said old Aunt Wisdom, II C
out every good thing that | see in t
papers: but what puzzles me is that
best articles end by mentioning Sol
cure. One of the new literary fads,
suppose.
Poiiceman-Excuse me, major, but is
that your dog? Major B.-Certainly.
licenan-You see what the sign say
mo dogs allowed in this park?'' Ma.
B.-Yes, but that dog can't read; he
very illiterate.
What are these funny little gre
tbingsz~ asked Flossie of her coun
cousin, pointing to number of pea-po
.sThose are peas" said Tommy. "Y
can't fool me-" retorted Flossie. ''P
come in big red cans"
Boy of ski think it is queer granG
should be seventy years old,-so mi
older than uncle (aged twenty-five
He looks ever so much younger. Do
xe4lIy think so? How does he look you
er? Why. lac isn't nearly as tall.
Mr.. Brown, on his way home fro
small gathering of friends. reading
notice on the door of the railway stat
Dogs must be led through this builo
DIV cord-Well, it is easy enough to