River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1891-09-17
A WAY no cAIcH EIsa.
The Unlucky Fisherman Paid Fifty CeAts
to Learn the Secret.

The Unlucky Fisherman Paid Fifty CeAts
to Learn the Secret.
Il amt cynical" remarked a red
headed man to a reporter, ''but / have
come to the conclusion that ii is like
going 10 a concert to hear dumb people
sing when you listen To the allurements
of fake. ! did it twice, but | amt
going to do it again. am careful,
am and he looked it. Everything
about him denoted care. His red locks
We're stiffened with cosmetic and
brushed up into pompadou- till they
looked like Mississippi bluff. He had
mole on the side of his face. There
was tuft of red hair growing out of
the mole, and he had parted it in the
middle There was another mole on
the side of his nose which was devoid
of hair, and consequently not orna-
mental. This did not show. He had a
piece of court plaster on it. There
was hole in his shoe, but he had linked
his sock, so that this also did not show.
II suppose you are looloo, are you
not?" queried a fat man with goggles
on, chuclxling.
''There is no necessity for getting
comic" said the red-haired man. Il
am not a loo,oo nor a pop-eyed idiot
that's got to wear concave goggles to
keep his orbs from popping out. | may
be red-haired, / may have hirsute
abnormities worse than drunken sun
set with blood on it; but I'm not
giggling and plethoric nincompoop
with n chucllle like "a rusty cog-wheel
and no regard for the proprieties. No
! amt
The man with goggles skunk off
abashed. and the orator continued:
snow fifty cents is a snug sum to
buy things with. And when you give
it to man and don't get anything back
for it you begin TO believe that you've
got about as much sagacity as mule.
l was up on Red Horse branch once with
a chap named Dave Boggins fish
ing. Some way or other the fish
wouldn't bite. Dave said it was old
Job Brown that was responsible for it,
because he was thrashin' rye up the
branch and the chaff naturally floated
down, and the fish went up so as to
dodge it. So we concluded to go up on
BuZzard creek as soon as Dawes mule
got through grinding sorghum.
1.-The night before we left Dave went
down by the pig-stye to dig for a new
kind of bait worm that you could only
get by oonlight. While he was gone
fellow came by in dog cart and said
he was agent for a great Chicago fish
house, and that he had a patent way
for killing fish that would fetch 'em
when everything else failed.
well, thought was fly, so I said:
''IIow much will you take TO show me
how?"
"And the Teller said: The regular
price is ninety-five cents, but being as
you look influential I'll show you how
for half a dollar
$50 | gave him the lialf-dollar and he
gave me a hickory nut, followed out
and vanished and glued together And
he told me to take it and go down by
the river at aybreak and crack it open
with stone, and then proceed accord
ing to directions.
$50 early the next morning sneaked
out of bed softly, so as not to wake
Dave, and went down to the river and
chuckled to myself, and pulled my hiclx-
DRY nut out and broke it open with
rock. A piece of paper rolled out, and
l read it and then tried TO kick myself
and fell into the river. The directions
said: w ait till they come out on shore
and knock them over with a club. -
n. o. Times Democrat.