The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-07-14
BRIGHT BITS.

STICKY (supe)-I want me tree dollars, seeY
lIanager-Tell Props that ] said he should
give you the stage diamonds Circu-
lar.
You cay, pet. because I'm leaving you to be-
mo, I don't. It's because all the titles will
be bought before grow up"-LDe.
HAD GONE TO THE WALL-How did Wall
street get its name? There's no wall there
YES. there is went to it about month
after | began to speculate Smith, Grdg de
Co.'S Monthly
specs.
Grandma-Why, Tommy
Tommy-It makes my locker feel wiggley -
Jet0elers' Weekly.
Mr. MAXIM says: "Give me time and l will
show you living machine Are we to under
stard that Mr.. Maxim means to utilize the old
principle involved in the discovery that time
tiies.-DstTott Free Press.
MRS. PRIM-I am getting up. in the-er-in-
terests of decorum a subscription to send light
flannel shirts-"outing" shirts you know, to the
Skin On low rolling tpunder tones)-Madam,
don't you know I'm interested in a starch fac
tory?-MtnseV'S Weekly.
SHE-Darng go and get that beautiful bit of
sea-weed for me, won't you?
He-My dearest I'd get my feet wet.
She-And yet before marriage you said you'd
go through fire for me.
He-But l honestly leave it to YOU,
Did ever say anything about water .-Phtld-
delphta Times
"WHY, Cousin Jenny" said Capt. Jinks
what beautiful complexion you have. You
are the belle of the dance to night"
Eyes, Tom, | agreed to furnish the powder if
papa would provide the bail. My partners must
| furnish the arms"
'Isee, and you expect to bring on an engage
ment. "-Detroit Free Press.
AN UPTOWN PREACHER on Sunday week de,iv-
| cred a sermon in which he found serious fault
with bis fellow clergymen who relaxed their
| efforts during the summer. He announced that
be would only redoube his work. The sermons
! would be longer, and class meetings and lee
| lures would be held every evening OF the week
By Thursday night the congregation had raised
purse TO send the clergyman to Europe for
| three months.-P Philadelphia Record.
DAsHAwAY Shaking hands with Miss Summit
at the balD-Do you know, | have a singular
feeling as if had come away and forgotten
something,
Miss Summit Ccoldly)-Possibly you are not
| aware, sir, that you have no necktie on
| Dashaway-O, is that it, Then, Miss summit
! there is nothing for you to do but to introduce
| Brooklyn Life.
DR. WOREUM (wrath)-Where is the blooming
chump who put up that last prescription for
| Mr. Shaker?
Druggist humility The head clerk, sir He
| has gone 70 dinner. | trust there is nothing
| wrong.
DR.. Workum more wrath)-Nothing wrong?
| Well guess. Why the ass put up quinine in
| those capsules by mistake for sugar of milk, and
| Shaker has got rid Of that ague.-Fharntdceuti-
| cal Era.
ONE of the old settlers Of st. Paul, wearyinp
| of calling and dunuing for bill. brought suit
| to enforce its collection. When the day of the
| trial came on the old settler was little late
and the jury had been impaneled and sworn
He entered, sat behind the attorney, and rapidly
ran his eyes over the jury. When be reached
the last man he sprang TO his feet and regard
less of court etiquette and decorum, called out:
Judge, every man on that jury owes me a bill.
Dismiss the case quick or I'll turn up in that
fellows debt st Paul Globe.
CUPID was flying irregularly between them,
so TO speak as they were strolling along out
Woodward avenue last Sunday afternoon. He
was feeling good deal like man going past
a graveyard and was whistling. II wish you
wouldn't whistle she SAID pettshly, ut is posi-
lively rude He looked at her a moment and
stopped. Then he began to sing softly. He
sang FOR say five minutes 'Harry," she said
almost teuderly His face lighted up with
hope; Please whistle" she said so pleading civ
that he got on the next car and went home
alone.-DetrOit Free Press.