The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-08-31

il s-RI - 4I = 80 .f--gt '+t----f't - -
stander.
Well, yon ne. once worked i
year IL shop TINT didp't advertise.
When I came otit, niy head was almost
Az white au yon noW see iii SOLITARY
confinement did IT,
A diner 1T 4 restaurant table display
ed signs Of irritation just because the
waiter happened to have spilled plate
Of soup over his coat.
Don't worry, sif-dont worry said
the head-waiter. 1T is seven o'clock. Z
What has that got 10 do with il n
cried the victim.
After half-past SIX. sir, our soup
doesn't.grease--hot water, SIR, that IS
all
Pa: ~ do not like that young
man, and wish he would keep away
Daughter: !. He does not come very
often.
Very ofteni He j. here nearly
every evening. and sometimes in the
afternoon.
But Pa, he never comes IN The
morning. Z
No, I wish he would
9 You do y
Yes. II he could once see You IN
the morning, he would never come
again"
1t was one Of the good little boys
from Sunday School near Boston who
gave this Interpretation to verse
taught by the teacher:
{ Behold a greater than Solomon is
here y
I. Hold d greater to Solomon's ear n
When at Il loss to give-the answer
. CAIN to question q relative to the
individual, the teacher, to Jog his mem
ory, asked z What does a man walk
with n
Quick as i flash came the reply.
" with q woman
The other night, after the thunder
shower, Jones dropped in on a neigh
Dor and found about dozen people as
sembled. Well, well, you look cheerful
after such a close call, growfed Jones,
as he removed his hat.
What close call?N
why, lightning struck the barn III
the alley not a hundred feetsaway'
'sOh dearl said one of the women,
.'but knew it all the tiape. One of my
arms has been numb eyer since.
.asnd it affeeted-hy foot said am
Gher.
l. ..And it set my heart palpitating.
And myelbow felt queer ever since.
Every one in the room remembered
to have, been shocked, and every one
was thankful over the narrow escape.
EBy-and- by boy, who had beer. think
| ing deeply, gnshed out:
why there is no barn IN the alley!n
Amidst the deepest silence everybody
remembered this fact, aud the boy
clinched it with: And how could
there be when there isno alley?r
Jones had not told the truth, but
neither had the otheHs~s.-
-
4 veneykble tramp entered an Aus
tin hnsiYfss house and said to the pro-
piietor
. / am the most unfortunate man
in the world. Please do something for
me-
!: don't know who you are, replied
/ the merchant. You may be an I'M
poster.
Here il q certificate from Parson
Jordan. Of Galveston, that am d hard
working, honest man, who has been
unfortunate"
9 4 certificate from Palson Jordan,
Of Galveston. 7" asked the merchant.
Yes, sir here it j., replied. the
mendicant, handing The merchant, a
Ipaper The merchant looked al the
paper and said
"5Parson Jordan, Of Galveston. is
my brother | know his signature very
well and his signature on that ecrtiti-
cate il forged.
| NJ Just as | expected whined the
mendicant. " | told you l was the
most unfortunate man in the world.
Just think Of me coming to the broth
er Of Parson Jordan, Of all the people
in the town, and showing him that
forged certificate, when there is.not an
other man in Austin, who knows his
signature
I a
MINUS SEVERAL TOES.
Especial to THE woRfDl
Il II .as9,.,, ss,xt~x-