The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1891-04-10

any subject about which more mirth
kindled than about the Bible. lik
fun; no man was ever built with
keener appreciation of 1t. There |
health In laughter instead of harm
physical health, mental health, mora
health, spiritual health-provided 20,
laugh at the right thing. The morning
Is jocund. The Indian with it's owl
mist baptizes the cataract Minnehaha
or Laughing Water. You have not KEEP
your eyes open or your ears alert /
you have not seep the sea smile, o.
heard the forests clap their hands, OF
the orchards In blossom week aglet
with redolence. But there is a laugh
ter which is beautiful, there is laugh
ter which has the rebound of despair
1t is not healthy to giggle about God,
or chuckle about eternity, or slnirk
about the things of We immortal soul.
You know what caused the accident
years ago on the Hudson River railroad.
1t was an intoxicated man who for q
joke pulled the string of the air brake
and stopped the train at the most dan
gerous point of the journey. But the
lightning train, not knoYing there was
any impediment In the way, came
down, crushing out of the mangled vic
tins theimmortal souls that went speed
Ing instantly to God and judgment. It
was only : Joke. He thought it would
be such fun to stop the train. He
stopped itiw And SO infidelity is chiefly
anxious to stop the long train Of the
Bible, and the long train of the churches,
and the long train of Christian influ-
ences, while coming down upon us are
death, judgmentand eternity, coming
thousand miles Aminute, coming with
more force than all the avalanches that
ever slipped from the Alps, coming with
more strength than all the lightning
express trains that ever whistled or
shrieked or Numbered across the CONT
nent.
THE LAUGHTER OF FOOLS.
Now, in this POPULARITY of intidel
thinkers l cannot join, and / propose
to give you some reasons why cannot
be an infidel, and so will try to help
out of this present condition any who
may have been struck with the awful
plague of skepticism.
First, / cannot be an infidel because
lnfidelity has no good substitute for the
consolation it proposes to take away.
You know there are millions of people
who get their chief consolation from
ibis book. What would you think of
! crusade of this sort9 Suppose man
should resolve that he would organize
\ conspiracy to destroy all the medi-
zines from all the apothecaries and
rom all the hospitals Of the earth. The
work is done. The medicines are taken
Ind they are thrown into the river, or
he lake, or the sea.
A patient wakes up at midnight in a
,aroxys1n of distress and wants an
'nodyne. "Oh," says the nurse, ''the
Inodynes are all destroyed; we have
10 drops to give you, but instead IF
hat I'll read you a book on the alb
f morphine, and, on the alb
urditfesf of all iemedies." But the man
continues to writhe in pain, and the
lurse says: I'm continue to read you
ONE discourses on anodynes the cruel
les of anodynes, the indecencies of
nodynes, the absurdities of anodynes.
or your groan I'll give you laugh"
Iere in the hospital is patient having
gangrened limb amputated. He says:
oh, for ether! Oh, for chloroform"
he doctors say: "Why, they are all
we don't have any more
or ether; but l have got
great deal better. I'll read
GU pamphlet against James Y. Simp-
IN, the discoverer of chloroform as an
and against Doctors Agnew
nd Hamilton and Hosack and
lott and Harvey and Abernethy." [
But" says the man, Il must have
ome anasthetics. NO" say the
octors, ''they are all destroyed,
ut we have got something a
reat deal better" What is thatw
Fun" Fun about medicines. Lie
own, all ye patients in Bellevue hos I
ital, and stop your groaning; all ye I
roken hearted of all the cities, and
nit your crying; we have the cathol- I
on at last Here is a dose of wit;
ere is strengthening plaster of sar-
lsln; here is bottle of ribaldry that {
ou are to keep well shaken up, and
Ike spoonful of it after each meal,
I'D if that does not cure you, here is {
tuition of blasphemy in which you I
ay battle, and here is tincture of {
erision. Tickle the skeleton of death 4
it'll a reparteel Make the King of {
errors cacklel For all the agonies of
l the ages, joke! Millions of people /
illing with uplifted hand toward ,
eaven to affirm that the gospel of t
esus Christ is full of consolation for
lem, and yet infidelity proposes to {
Ike it away, giving nothing, abso- /
tely nothing, except fun. Is hhere i
~ greater height or depth or length i