Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-05-01
QUEER THINGs IN COFFINs.
Eccentricities That Make Even the Under
taker Laugh.
Neir York Tri6un,

NtW IVfh LftOuNc.
"What is the last curious thing you
have met in your lugubrious business?"
asked 4 reporter of an undertaken the
other day.
The undertaken opened the lid of a
coffin near his elbow and replied: DO
you see that Satin lining?"
Eyes. What's odd about that?"
yellow"
yellow is common enough color"
mot for coffin Innings, my boy.
They're generally white. But this cof-
fin was made for woman whose main
ambition was TO look well, and her last
request was that her coffin be lined with
old gold satin, as that color best set of
her complexion. which was rather sal
low and dark. Promise me- she said.
/ don't want all those women to come
in and see me in my coffin looking like
a fright So they promised and she
died cOntented."
Only a woman would bother her head
with such thoughts on her dying bed"
moraized the reporter.
Pm not so sure of that" said the I'M
dertaker Il once buried an old chap,
a saloon keeper, whose income when he
lived was unevenly divided between the
support of his family and the decoration
of his person. The family got the
smaller half. He wore the most eXpen-
sive clothes at all times and the glitter
of Al diamond from his shirt front,
necktie, watch guard and his big red
chubby hands actually dazZlcd the be-
holder. Well, when his time came he
H. m hic iaNUalS
to leave behind him, but he made a will
bequeathing the little he had TO his wife
on condition that she dressed his body
in his best suit OF clothes, decked it
with all his diamonds and buried them
every one with him. Otherwise his
whole estate, including. diamonds was to
go TO charity.
The poor woman declared she would
obey his every wish but it was with a
heavy heart that she brought out his
suit | was to dress the corpse in. 1t was
of the loudeSt, biggest, most glaring
plaid YOU ever saw: enough to brighten
Old Nick himself away. The shirt was
all covered over with Il pattern compoS-
ed of purple ballet dancers and scarlet
bulldogs. and these, with his big dia-
mondS gittering all over him, made Il
startling sight for the mOurnerS who
looked into his coffin. Many were the
lamentations that the poor widow should
be obliged to bury all those diamonds
and much admiration was expressed for
the wifely devotion which kept her
from murmuring.
But the widow was no fool. She
buried the Jewels sure enough, but
hardly was the grave filled up before
She ordered the sexton to empty II
again. The coffin was opened, and the
widow took the diamonds from the olo
curmudgeon'S shirt front with her own
hand. Then they buried him second
/ time.
Il heard of another strange case, con
tinued the undertaken, (which. though
it did not come under my observation
vet | believe il to be true. 1t was that
| of man who always had horror OF be-
ing buried alive He left provision In
his will that big bottle of chloroforT
was to be put in his coffin with him. II
was to be laid by his side, and a tack
hammer was to be put in his hand, sc
that if he came TO life under ground he
could smash the bottle at blow and i'll
the coffin with fumes that would Kill
him instantly and painleSSly.