The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-07-03


man has asked tho donation of 1000,
which will be ample to build u modest
home" Another, moro reasonable, only
asks for pair of tho presidents trou-
scrs, ian old pair will do" This class
of people cannot understand why their
requests arc refused or ignored. They
do not know that single public din
ner costs the president at the lowest
possible figure, $500. The model presi-
dent, who never gave vino to his guests,
Mr.. Hayes, paid $4,000 for single
luncheon to some official friends; and
spent over $4,000 Oh single. reception.
The impecunious cranks come in ignor-
ancc and depart uncnlightcncd.
Guitcau went to the white house sew
cral times, but his mannerism indicated
his genus SO plainly that his exclusion
was soon ordered. After the tragedy of
which he was the author, Guitcaus in
Vulnerable thronged our streets, alleys,
wharres and principal places. One
night, while sitting in the Butler man.
sion on Capitol hill, where he made his
residence with Senator Jones for sew
cral weeks, President Arthur was shot
ut through an open window: but the
fact was kept from the public ut tho
time, although n well-lsnown news
paper man was in the room when the
villainy was attempted. The crank
was never known. Bill Jones, another
crank, imagined himself fore-ordained
TIC kill Guiteau, and undertook to shoot
him while in the prison van, going
from court to Jail. The line between
cranllism and insanity is SO slight de-
arkation-almost an imaginary line
that it is generally swept away ulti-
mately and the crank ends his days in
the quiet of an asylum, or in the dun
geon with n straight jacket. His physic-
al makeup is such that he Judges
every one on earth according to the
Gcidity of his own stomach, or the in
activity or absolute torpidity of his own
liver. He not only invadcs the white
house, but can often be found in the
executive departments: and there, be-
tween the moments of leisure from his
work, he employees both time and what
might otherwise be called talent, in
hating his fellow clerks and dcnouncing
the chief of his division. lie would re-
build the earth and reorganizc society
upon plans of his own, wiser and better
than omnisciencc ever conceived, vastly
gcncc which has been developed by the
ages.
Somehow, and this is the greatest
mystery, he becomes the representative
of some daily newspaper, and in that
capacity invadcs the white house with
his views" The president who is so
unwisc as to reject the advice of this
species of crank finds column after col
umn filled with cunning, able, persist
cnt. insinuating and sometimes out
rageCus abuse of himself, his habits,
his family. even unto the third genera
ton. The gildcd palace of the chief OK
ecutivc officer of the republic was found
by Abraham Lincoln to be "a whitcd
scpulchcr," for no man was more har-
asscd during his life, and none left it so
speedily for the grave. There has been,
l will not say there now is, n senator
who finds the earth too small for his
operations, the white house too con-
tractcd for his authorizations, and the
president too mediocre for respectful
consideration at his hands. And yet,
representing sovereign state of the re-
public, the doors are always open to
such Il one and the president becomes the
target for his envenomcd tongue. Out
of the three hundred and fifty repre-
scntativcs in the lower house of con-
grcss, it is safe to say that at least a
dozen cranils will always be found to
harass and annoy the man who is hon
ored with the presidency. One of them,
now in public life, from far western
state, demands an appointment from the
president, which has already been
4
tive crank swears, pumps air from his
lungs by wildly swinging his arms, and
declares his unalterablc hostility to the
administration, threatens TO vote
against all appropriations, and goes out
into the cold world almost hating him
self to death. His opinions are jug
handled and his ideas as chaotic as the
remnants of an earthquake.
Sometimes 4 member of the cabinet
is 4 crank, but he is always wise
enough to conceal his weakness from
his superior. But his assistants, his
chief clerk, his chiefs of division, his
messengers and laborcrs bear the brunt
of his constant wrath and discomfort.
From the highest to the lowest classes,
out of all conditions of men, the pc
culiar people come to Washington. I
have but indicated an outline of the
species, for their name is legion and
their methods past all description. Suf-
ficicnt has been said, however, in this
brief space to somewhat dissipatc the
envy and jealousy of those who criti-
else and pursue with iconoclastic vigor
the man who may hold, from time to
time, the untnviablc position towards
which all men look with ambitious
longing. SMITH ID. FRY.
lie Won the Eooby Prize.