St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1891-11-14

~ Dissgree0ent with the Top and Boe
tom Of First Class Bill Of Fare.
A man who looked hungry, and wit
IN air Of dignity that i'll comported witt
his misi8t and well-worn garb, sat dow,
at table in a high-priccd uptown res
taurant
"Waiter," said he. in the tone an,
with the manner Of . man who knew
what was what and was determined {.
have that and nothing else. fetch m,
venison steak, and have il fat and
juisy!"
II beg pardon. sir-' said the waiter
with elevated eyebrows.
"Venison steak. said! fat and juicy!'
'Oh. SIR" said the waiter, but the
venisOn season hasn't come in vet sir. >
DO you mean that you have no ven.
ison?"
Certainly. sir!"
This Is drst-class restaurant, ain't
N?" said the man, looking about him as
II he was afraid he had got in tho wrong
place. .. rra. N,
''Oh, yes. sir!'
"And no venison?" r.
| mot out Of season. sir!!''
| The hungry looking stranger again
looked 1T his surroundings apprehen.
sively.
''Well," said he. .'perhaps you could
accommodate me with half q dozen
brook trout i want them crisp, but
not frizzled till they arc chip dry. Half
. dozen will Co." ,.... -
Il am sorry, sir" said the waiter.
with an apologetic shake Of his head;
but the brook trout season has just
gone out"
"Whatr' exclaimed the stranger.
mo brook trout either?''
"All the fault of the law, sir. We
can give you salmon. SIR"
If had wanted salmon Id have or
dered salmon" exclaimed the man. IL
do my own ordering"
The waiter bowed meckly and said
nothing. Finally. throwing himself
back in his chair resignedly, the GUS
toner said:
SWELL. fetch me . quail. Broiled, of
course. On toast It's funny . fellow
can't get anything but quail in these
so-called way-up restaurants. Fetch
me qnail. I'll have to put up with il,
I suppose"
A look akin to pain spread over the
walters face. He hated to dissppoint
this fastidious customer, but there was
no way to avoid It.
"Very sorry, sir" he said, again
apologetically. ''But it's the law again,
sir. We positively could not serve you
. quail before the close season is up ON
November !, sir. but"
November" exclaimed the custom
er. tapping nervously on the table with
his knife. Great Heaven! Does this
establishment expect me to sit here for
four months waiting for it to broil me
. quail? The longer You have to wait
for your order to be served tho higher
toned the restaurant is, I am aware,
but waiting four months for ono IL a
little too high-toned. it seems to met"
The waiter wiped away the perspira-
ton that began to gather on his brow |
and bowed again. Finally he plucked |
up courage to say: ..,.
'Woodcock are in season, SIR"
''Well. who denied it?" rejoined the |
stranger. 81 know that woodcock arc |
In seasoni have had nothing else but |
woodeock. woodeock. woodcock for |
two weeks! l am not asking for infor- l
nation. but for something to eat! Ii it |
possible I've got to fall back on bear
meat? It looks that way. But don't
fetch me . piece one bit bigger than my
hand Fetch me just one little piece Of
bear steak. waiter. and have it well
lone. Rare bear-is worse than raw
liver. A piece no bigger than my hand,
walter; with brown gravy"
The waiter looked about him we,rilv.
The perspiration triclled down his face.
He attempted . smile as he turned to
ais customer again, but it was . wan
md sickly one.
II am afraid. SIR" said he. THAT it is
hardly cold enough yet for bear"
"Hsrdly cold enoughv' exclaimed the
persistent customer. ''You don't suppose
want cold bear do you? You're afraid
is not cold enough for bear, eh? Well.
What do I caro- what your fears are? 1
They're nothing to me! Ge4 me some
hing to eat! That's al I ask Of you!
10 you mean to say that this estab-
ean'tserve me any bear meat?"
The waiter, now in . state Of almost
tier collapse, mopped his face and
hammered:
'rm afraid-that is-I'm obliged TO
~, sir. that hear is not yet on our
aenu"
The customer bit his lip as IL to sup
ress his indignation, and tapped the
able still more nervously with his
nife. The waiter seemed to be on the
oint Of calling for help when the GUS
omer said:
''You've got blucfish. Of course?'
''Oh, yes. sirr' replied the waiter,
up and gaining strength
Certainly you have!' exclaimed the
astomer. "Aud bluefish arc not At to
1t before October! Positively arc not
{ to eat before October!' :
The waiter grew weak In the knees
gain and shed more perspiration.
''And Ill bet dollar you can fetch =
% . sheepshead?" continued the Gus &
'mer. L.
.Finest in the market. sirv' replied :
70 waiter. once moro with hope.
ANY man who can eat sheepshead \
ter once seeing the countenance of !,
10 would eat his brother!" exclaimed
le customer in . tone of disgust "a n
sh with set Of teeth like . dentists :,
gn was never made to Be eaten BY !;
an. Pah!"
Hope left the waiter again. and he re-
gued himself to his fate. He wiped n
vsy the perspiration and waited for a
q customer's next assault The Gus n
mer looked out of the window awhile,
ID then said: a
"Have you any cod6sh?" :.
The waiter heeitaAed to acknowledRc -
ut restaurant % 6rst-class as that =,