The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-12-25
MAKE 1T MERRY.


our readers yesterday, the ordinary, every
day HERALD of this morning feels as
though the subject of Christmas has been
pretty thoroughly dealt with already.
Nevertheless, the inclination is pretty
strong, in an editorial point of view, 30 try
to crowd out as much of the heavier class
OF reading as possible on such holiday,
even at the risk of filling the paper, as
many people will fill their stomachs, with
too much Christmas matter.
No serious homily shall ours be upon the
religious origin Of the holiday, except in
blessing Pope TKLEsPHoRUs for instituting
the festival. We take it for granted that
the poor are remembered before this goes
to press, and that all proper prayers have
been said, and all resolutions of peace on
earth and good will to men" been vowed
and recorded. Such being the case, and
the reader enjoined to do at least one kind
act during the day, our advice to all is to
make merry. As the Youths Companion
says:
Christmas is a merry time,
Merry time!
Full OF rhymes and full OF chimes.
Full Of toys and full of joys
merry LIME.
tits pretty hard for some people to keep
from being cross. Puck speaks of the ques-
ton being ASKED, what do you
think of the present method of
celebrating Christmas to which
the sour curmudgeon to whom it was ad-
dressed replied: 81 think method with
out the present would be preferable" But
orbo ha hot o;f
on account of it being peculiar talent not
possessed by every one. 1t is not the buy
ing so much as the selecting that bothers.
Rd'per'S Magazine gives this instance.
Mrs. Bunkerton is very much pleased by her
husbands manifest attachment to gift she
gave him last Christmas. sit is really lovely
of him." she said to a.friend. 81 gave him a box
Of cigars last Christmas, and, fond as he is of
smoking, the dear old fellow hasn't touched
them yet.
The point of this joke was probably ap-
preciated by the considerable wife referred
to below:
Caroline, last year you gave me box of
cigars for a Christmas present Yes
Geooge." This year suppose you let me give
you box Of cigars. Very we'll; and I'll get
you a sealsktn sacque.'
A contemporary, TicEt's Monthly. thinks
that one of the things the country
most needs, at least once year,
is Mistt Christmas Gift
Exchange, probably founded upon the idea
that has occurred to many HERALD readers
relative to the disposition of duplicate
bir shday and wedding presents. In the
for ho off io cd
at SO much pay in cash and so many ra-
tons. the rations being convertible into
money. This is called the Communication
! systen-one. no doubt, that our deyout
4 friends, the clergy, might well wish to
( apply to donations. Thus, if all the book
marks, slippers, dressing gowns, study
! caps, gold pencils, fountain pens, etc, that
are sent to them on the ground that their
salaries are inadequate to supply
of life, could make these gifts
transferable into sacks of potatoes,
loads of coal, hams and canned goods,
doubtless their gratitude would be quite as
! eff usive down in their hearts and even
lower. But we had almost forgotten Htck's
/ Monthly and its Misft Exchange. That
publication says:
/ Until such an exchange begins to fill long
felt want the daily papers could help on the
good work by permitting their patrons 10 in
sert free suce advertisements as the follow ng
at holiday time.
| "a boy of twelve wishes to exchange new
copy of 'Josephus,' handsomely bound, for a
| second-h aLd copy Of 'Beeizebub Dick, the Ter
ror OF Cory Gulch;' or 'Deadhead Dan, the
Young Detective of Mulberry Avenue -
Young Clergyman will dispose of an assert
ment OF slippers, some of which are embroid
cred with blue dogs with scarlet eyes, for a
serviceabIe pair of winter gloves, fur-lined pre-
ferred. Must be mates.''
Young married man will trade box OF
cigars handsome work of art on inside of lid
tor 10-cent plug of chewing tobacco
Gentleman desires to part with pair Of
large red mittens. Win accept a two-ply ham
sandwich or three Frankfurter sausages in ex
change
Youth will give copy of LAMBS Poems O
Childhood Geaves uncut for a baseball bat Oh
a cheap pistol with box of cartridges"
The insists are not always in the selec-
lions, however, as was the case of man
we know of who, desiring to make
a present to bright youth Of
a literary turn, went 10 book
store, and seeing a lumber of volumes
labeled, as he thought, Dickens Works,
had them sent to his young friend, after
wards finding out that they were Dick.
Works. on medical and surgical practice
writer in Judge has a list Of some needed
inventions, as:
A Santa Claus that won't make children
jealous.
A drum that no one can hear except the DO,
who beats it.
Tin soldiers that won't get massacred in tn,
first pitched battle.
bob sled that will upset the small DO,
instead OF the nurse girl with the baby car
rage.
A common-sense apparatus that will kee,
people away when you've caught a pretty cir
under the mistletoe.
a law to prevent a woman from buying he
husband a lovely meerschaum pipe for
quarter or a box of fine Havana cigars for
dollar.
Now that writer isn't nearly as mean
man as he pretends to be. The spirit of ;
jolly Christmas joker is in the very though
of making fun of funny things. n,
wouldn't if he could, make the day les
boisterous or uproarious. Nor would an,
of US.
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IDLE CHATTER