The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-09-15
suNrrowER srLHouETTEs.


No man is correct when he says the Al
lance is busted. Bursted is right.
What shall become of the senator be-
fore John j. ingalls, name? Exit.
The Democratic party of Kansas has too
many bosses, but still it can stand emboss-
ing
A good motto for some merchants who
are doing a ruinous business: "Ad Vertlse
Per Aspera."
1t is warrantabIe saying that the great
est affair in Kansas this fall will be lar
-Wichita's.
The Peck that comes home from Europe
starts next Friday with bushel OF new
man stories.
Kansas is the only place on earth where
man is frequently drugged in houor
store and liquored in drug store.
1t has not been long since the census
was taken, so the suicide Of count IN
Topeka does not call for new count.
| The time will come when if PETER and
his iIk want to draw crowd in Kansas
they will have to take lessons in an art
school,
Harrison Kelly is said to have his eye on
Senator Plumb's seat. This may be true,
but it is safe to say that he will never get
any other part of his anatomy there.
The terrible experience of Vera Ava and
the wicked designs OF her enemies in Chi
cago will for the moment remind Mrs.
Lease to congratulate herself that the lem
onade season is over.
The drunken man who drops into the
newspaper Office to tell the editor what the
matter is with the community and stays
the remainder of the afternoon, is the one
exceptional case of never going off when
he's loaded.
One way the Kansas farmer can keep
the wolf from the door this winter will be
to set out a jar of plum butter, a couple
of glasses of grape jelly and a crock of
crab-apple marmalade. and the chances
are that the wolf will keel over with the
dyspepsia.
Our Kansas farmer is making things
hum, particularly the threshiug machines.
Lives there man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said:
Kansas, my own, my native land,
I'll ruin your credit, blast your name,
But go to congress just the samef
There is a Dane living out in the west
ern part of Sedgwick county who has been
voting the Democratic ticket, to the cha
grin of several of his acquaintance. He
has been over about four years, and has
already acquired some knowledge of the
two parties. He had some dutiable goods
which caused him some trouble at New
York when he came over, which he had
never forgotten. A candidate was recent
ly protesting with him for voting the
Democratic ticket.
Democrat IS for free trade, isn't it!"
the Dane cautiously asked.
''Yes, they are, " said the candidate, 'but
what difference does that make to you,
John? You don't want free trade"
The Dane, after a search in his jacket,
produced little. worn clipping from a
newspaper, probably taken from a sermon
or lecture How Great is a Woman's
Duty to Her Husband?" it read "There, -
said the Dane, triumphantly. my Kar-
lima is in Denmark. Free trade, / bring
her over here; marry her. But duty;
alas, lam a poor man. Republican, pay
for my Karlina at New York. Democrat,
and she comes free"
Two men were listening to an Alliance
speech. The speaker had just said: above
all things we will be true to the words:
''Ad Astra per Aspera."
'Gosh! Amt that finer" said one of
the men listening, in an outburst of adj
miration.
do you think SOP" spoke the man ad-
dressed, critically.
"Of course do. Splendid I always
was partial to Latin"
Latin. Ell? We'll. I'll bet you, John,
that you don't know what those words
mean. Put up or shut up now. How
much do you want to bet!''
"Don't know them words, Bill? Well,
be goldarned if l don't take you up
Here's dollar. Cover that now, Bill, if
you're not all blow"
Done"
The two silver dollars lay glittering in a
third party's hand.
Now" said Bill, tout with it. What
do they mean"
"Why, this" said John, "The voice of
the people is the voice of God There
now"
And as the translator pocketed the
money joyfully the critical spectator said
with some emphasis: well, Bill, I'm
dumbfuddled; for. durn me, | never
thought you knowed Latin"