The Opelousas courier., 1891-01-17
leather. However, gals from all sorts
of plants have very much the same prop
critics and constitution.
HUMoR or THE DAY.

A race on the Thames-The English.
Life.
The kernel commanding in Kansas
Corn.-Pitts5mg Telegraph.
"shot down." The fellow who killed
a Young duck.-DansoiMe Breeze.
Never cast pearls before swine. Pearls
are not fattening.-Boston Transcript.
81 believe in taking things quietly"
remarked the philosophical sneak thief.
Life.
"Capital punishment, as the boy said
when the schoolmistl e5s seated him with
the girls.
Never knew what struck him The
humorist who could not remember yes
terday's idea.
It is no sign because a man IS an "old
salt. 81 that he wasn't fresh when he was
q boy.-LJe.
A man of Eighty disposition should
never be made the cashier of a bank.-
Pits5ury Dispatch.
A woman who makes a practice Q Dor
rowing quart of milk genera'ly III AkesS
pint Of returning it.
"Do you keep a horse9" 81 tri led to
once, but the officers tracked me anu
had to give it up"
Fame is a glorious thing to achieve
but q small salary is more negosla oie.-
Binqhamtoa Leader.
Husband-"Atw what age did you com
init the most foolish act OF your ilfes'
Wife-ssAt my marriage"
ssThis boat smells dreadfully OF on
ions" ssYes, madam" said the captain,
ssshe is a very leeky craft"
Ted-"I'm going to run him a race
fo- Do,,v,s hand.n Ned-ssThen it will
be a sack race for n of you"
It is a peculiar fact that ''the more q
man gets the more he wants, and the
| more he wants the less he GETS Epoch.
The newly made bride may be witty,
Or stupid, tits small matter which,
The maiden inquiries il she pretty,
The youth wants to INC il she's rich.
Boston Courier.
Emma-tsDoes my dress hang all right
dear2" Lucile-ssIt certainly deserves
to. The style is positively Grimm al. -
NeD York Herald.
"Johnny, you shouldn't run out in the
rain without your hat on" "Mamma,
nv head can't get wet, I've had 1t
ahingled.n-Nep York Herald.
i Mrs. Suggestive are to have dear
mother for dinner, James!" Mr. Stag
gers-"Au right; see that she il thor
oughly cooked. "-Pick-Me- Up.
Teaoher-"Can you tell me what a
secret is2" Little Girl-"Yes'm. Il is
something somebody tells everybody
else in a whisper" -O Chicago Post.
She'll set aside the tennis cap
To comfort her poor mother;
But let appear some handsome chap,
How quick she'll set the other i.
Boston Transcript.
eI never realized what was me ant by
fingers of scorn," said ayoung w ashing-
ton man, ssuntil I proposed to q deaf
mute and was rejected. y Washington
Post.
Crawford-"Why did you get up and
90 out SO suddenly in the middle Of the
eoncert last night?" McDowd -"BeE
1 cause I couldn't face the music. -
Light.
oAnd SO Jimpson read his poem to
YOU Yesterday How did you endure
itQ" az just fixed my glass eye on him,
and went to sleep with the others'-A
Ioaon Crier.
Grower, when asked what he consid-
cred the saddest thing in life, said he was
ALWAYS miserable when he had a big ap-
petite and nothing to eat, and suffered
terribly when he had plenty to eat a
no appetite. -ElmirG Gazette.
The conversation had turned on Cos
siping servants. "As for me-" remarked
Jones, who was present, t'my dream u
to have only two, n of whom should
be deaf and the other dumb. The deaf
rascal wouldn't be able to hear anything,
and the dumb one couldn't repeat what
he happened to hear. Judge.
The notorious Albanian bandit, Hadii
Pullman, before he was led to execution,
expressed a last wish TO make q meal OF
curried mutton. But as the Turkish cook
did not understand how TO prepare the
dish, the culprit pushed back his plate,
saying: s.If I ate any of that stuf ]
should have the dyspepsia for q week at
the very ast.n-Baster Nachriehten.