The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-09-03
WIT AND IIUMrR.

VI men SICK man refuses 10 seuu ioI
! doctor that is a sign that he still
clings to life.-1e1as S!ttt''gs.
Though I speak but one language
l am familiar with many tongues" said
physician.-Batato Enquirer.
When some men discharge an obi
CATION you can hear the report for
miles around. Ionkers Gazette.
This summer is cautioned to look out
for soft place to light. There's Il fall
just ahead of it Washington Star.
The man who selected his wife. as he
would his clothes, for wearing qualities
found that she wore him out.-Lue.
The sharper understands other peo-
pie pretty well. but he often has to
give himself up Binghanat07' Repub-
iican.
1t may be a wise preacher who
knows his own theology. but he is still
wiser who says nothing about it.-N
Y. Recorder.
Twice during the year mau feels
the need Of rest-just before his yaca-
ton and again Immediately after
ELmira Gazette.
''Are you going away this SUMMER"
mo. l shall stay ut home Why"
Because my wife is going away. -
L0t0eU Citizen.
If everybody took up as much room
as he thinks he does somebody would
be crowded off the earth's surface
Washington Star.
A good national flower for some of
the foreign gentlemen who reach this
country would be the marry gold
Washington Post.
Whom the gods love die young. The
rest become boy preachers or organize
into young mems political clubs
Detroit Free Press.
Maud-.'Is it true that You are in
love with Mr.. Bullon?" Clara
Mercy, no. I'm only engaged to
him. IN y. Weekly.
St. Peter-"You were a professional
humorist, were you? ANY mitigating
circumstances" Approximately, l
didn't lecture. "-MuASey's Weekly.
Kind Lady-"And if you pile up this
wood properly will give you some
more work to do" Weary Raggles-
Den t'rew up de fust job, num-
Puck.
First Office Boy-"He's no news
paper man. Second Office Boy
MOP" Nav; he's a journalist. He
writes wild Il gold pen. IN. T. Re
c0r1er.
Musical Criticisms: Mistress (benevo-
What would you do if you
could play the piano as | camp" Maid
Il should take lessons. "-Ne6et-
spatter.
Spacer-'What can l say in this
obituary for Ginslsg, the bartender?"
Editor-"Work in something about his
having smile for every one. IN.
L. Herald.
Miss Blewbudd (proudly) = my
Newly Indeed! Well, to be equally
candid, mine was Jersey City butch
er."-Puc6.
Baseball Fiend-"I heard YOU had a
match with your wife last night. Bats
BY. What's the score?n Batsby
(mournfully) shut me out. -
baltimore american.
Simpson How do you know your
rival and her father will soon fall out
and tight?" Jimpson (gleefully)-
They've both joined the same church
choir" ~ T. Herald
Brown" Here is some tobacco,
my poor man. You must feel the loss
of a smoke after dinner Tramp
No, sir. feel the loss of nv dinner
before the smoke. "-Lye.
There is girl in the London work
house who speaks language which
nobody can understand. What a per-
feet railway brakeman she would
make!-BoSt0n Transcript.
In the school of military instruction.:
Officer" What is the powder that this
summer has been introduced in nearly
all the armies?' Recruit-"Insect
powder. F2iegende Butter.
Quester-.I wonder why it is that a
man is heavier when he is in liquor
than when he is sober?' jester
That is easily explained. It's be-
cause he's half shot. '"-Bosto,s Courier.
A Detroit burglar stole all the gas
fixtures and several feet of lead pipe
from church in that city last week.
Professional courtesy, however de-
barred him from molesting the meter.
indianapolis Journal.
What kind of people are YOUR new
neighbors?n They moved in the
evening and l didn't see their furni-
ture, and they haven't hung out their
hrst washing yet, so | really cannot
tell you.-M. \. Press.
Tailor (politely):-.Yes, sir; and
what kind of diagonal would YOU pre-
fer me to use in making this Prince
Albert?" Mr.. Bri,ton- Britton:-"Oh
-ah, wide wales, please; | understand
the prince is wather stout" -Puck.
why is this boat backing up?"
asked the passenger on the steamer,
70" said the mate. the Captains |
wife and baby are on board and the
baby wouldn't 90 TO sleep until he'd
seen the engine reversed IN. Y. Saul.
Bagley Cat the seashore)-"I YOUR
wife going to the BAH to-night?n !
Bailey-''Well, she's dressed for some |
thing, but I'm blessed if | know
whether she's going to the ball or down
to the beach for L moonlight Dip
Judge.
Mrs Peers young DR.. Case |
across the way spent enough time in |
front of his mirror yesterday to grow
sick of his own looks. Yet today h. |
is at it again" Mrs. Joers--'To.day, |
he probably wishes to see physician"
Puck.
Book Agent-''If you'll buv this
book. sir, I'll guarantee that You'll |
learn one thing one that will save YOU
lots of money. Man of House-"Tll |
take it. What will it teach me?"
Never to buy another book from |
book agent ,'-Brooktyn Eagle
Papa-"See the spider, my bow.