The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1891-11-21
PuNeeNT PARAGRAPHS.

"A Good Excuse. Mother (severelyl
-"You let James kiss you last night"
Daughter (penitently)-"H lie pressed me
30 much had to."-N. Y. Press.
-Wooden-"Lazicus has just been
telling me how much work he turns
off," Bulfnch-"I should say he didi
He turns it all off on somebody else"
Boston Courier
-"I have such an indulgent hus-
band" said little Mrs. Doll. Eyes; so
George says" responded Mrs Spiteful.
"Sometimes INDUCES too much, doesn't
he9"-Boston Transcript.
--"Did Bronson save anything from
the wreck of his fortune?" "Yes For
tunately for him, his wife had been
shopping the day before he failed, and
all the goods had been sent home"
Almost as Bad. Eastern Boy-"Did
you ever play football?" Western Boy
(watching the game)-"No; but once
got caught in drove of stampeded
mules. ."-Demorests Magazine.
Looking Out for Number one.-"So
you gave your sister a beautiful birth
day present, did you, Tommy"
"Yes'm, 1 always give Susie present
on her birthday cause mine comes a
week after ers."-Yanlee Blade.
"A Pointer. you have
n good days sport?" Brown--"Splen-
did" Jones-"How did my dog work
for you?" Brown-"Wonderfu He
led me directly to the game inarket"-
N. Y. Herald.
Distressed young mother with cry
ing baby in railway carriage)-"Dear,
dearl / don't know whatever to do
with this child" Kind and thoughtful
bachelor ION the opposite seat)-"Shall
1 open the window for you, madam?"-
Xenophon's Anabasis.
Wan Gibberhorn seems to take
quite melancholy pride in being the
last of distinguished family" But
he isn't. The last one of any distinc-
ton was Vans great-grandfather. Van
himself is what might be called merely
n sequel. l."-Indianap Journal
Young Bacon-"The doctor says
the night air is bad for me, but that the
morning air is beneficial" Miss Fuss
anfeather with yawn and side glance
at the clock)-"You seem anxious to
follow the doctors directions, don't
| you! - OnkeTS OIdJCuBuN
His was the Greatest Accomplish
ment.-"Yes my wife is learning Del
sarte, my daughter is learning elocu-
ton, and my boy is learning the man
dolin. o, we shall soon be the most ac-
complished family in town" 1--WE?
What are you learning, pray?" ITO
endure. e."-Indianapolis Journal
Carefully Trained. - Miss Antique
(talSing politely proffered seat in
crowded street car )-"Thank you, my
little man, You have been taught to
be polite l am glad to see. Did your
mother tell you to always give up your
seat to ladies?" Polite boy - Nom,
not all ladies, only old ladies. - Dem
orest's Magazine.
Very Different-Little Dolly Ten
nys-"What's that you have in your
hand, mammal" Mrs. Tennys-"That's
tennis racket, child. Little Dolly -
"a tennis racket? Is that the kind DR..
Smith says pa goes on, mammal" Mrs.
Tennys-"Mercy no, child! The rack
cts your papa goes on never cost less
than S2OO.-Somerville Journal.
"A Young Lady's Tact.-"Well, good
night, Miss A." said young man
the other evening to Dwightville girl
whom he was visiting. II think it's
better for me to go. ! feel certain that
if stay two minutes longer l shall be
indiscreet enough to kiss YOU" well,
good night, Mr.. r" replied the
young girl. 80, by the way" she
added, 81 want to show YOU my sachet-
bag before you go. 1t will only take a
couple of minutes" 1t is only neces-
sary to state that the young man in
question is possessor of Il bright intel
lect, and he quickly embraced the situa-
q ton, and we can further assert that the
; girl was in it. - Binghamton Republi-
can.