davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09
CYCLE NOTES.

The weather being against wheel
ing of late, the cyclers have laid at
rest.
B. NJ. Lyon, one Of Sedalia,s
most efficient cyclers, spent last Sum
day in Clinton accompanied by his
wheel.
-Sedalia's only lady Bicy clist has
recently bsen married and left the city.
Who is the next lady to ride the
wheel?
"A large number of Sedalia wheel
men expect to attend the Missouri
division meet at Carthage, July 81,
4th and 9Th.
The cyclers had several runs
called for the neighboring towns, but
owing to the weather they had to be
postponed.
Why is it that Joe h. Kelly has
not been riding his wheel this season,
We are sorry our enthusiastic wheel
men are falling in the rear.
-Chas. NJ. Ellis, the famous
wheelman of Seialia, has sold his
wheel and retired from the turf for
the present, but it is hoped he will
again be with US soon.
There goes another one of them
dod-blasted fools on a bysickle. A
man that will waste his time riding
one of them things, when he can cit
in the shade and play poker, is a fool
sure huff! Amt he, Bill?" "Yep."
Aud the game was resumed, tho
critics concentrating their mental fac
ulties upon q ten cent Jackpot.
We take too much medicine,
employ too many doctors, seek too
much outside help. Half of our dis
eases are preventsble or dissipatcd by
attention to the common-sense rules
Of health and exercise. There is no
earthly blessing 50 great as health. no
way so sore to secure and preserve it
as to exercise, and nu method of ex.
crossing is SO perfect rs cycling.
Cycling round the world is get
ting to be very common fad. 1ba
latest tourist to start around the world
on bicycle is Jacob Bauer, of Louis
vile, KY. None Of the tourists now
started on this trip will stick to the
cycle as religiously as did Tom Stew
enc. They will utilize other means Of
transportation when the country af.
fords very bad riding or is dangerous.
They will not cycle through Persia or
Afghanistan, as did the great Stevens.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09
NILES NERVE AND LIVER PILLS

Act On nav princip!e-resulsting the
liver, stomach and bowels through the
nerves. A new discovery. DR.. Miles
Pills speedily cure billiousness, bad taste,
torpid lilver, piles. constipation. Un-
equAled for men, women, children. Small.
est, mildest, sures,! so doses, 25 cents.
Samples free, at A. I. Fleischman's.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

broke out into pea!s Of laugh;er-and
all the days since be has been trying
to make the words 'fishiog" and
"proh,bition" fit into a rhythmical
measure.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09
THE SEDALIA WEEKLY BAZOO JUNE 9, 1891.
TIE THIRD PARTY, DRIVES UP.

Re THIRD PARTY, DRIVES UP.
lam the Third Party!
Git on to my style
Will you?
And my irimmins?
By gravy,
/ doo't wear 20 socks,
And my galluses is
Fastened with linchpin,
Eu, I'm cuttiu'
A wide swa,h
Plight down the middle,
And they can't head
Ne Of,
Nohow
Mebbe / am q sort OF
A tsrmers'-A.liance Citizens
Alliance Knights-of-Labor
Observation-Disclosures
Monopoly -Sirgle-Tax-
Prohibition Womer-Sufirage-
Greenhsck-Free- Silver.
Pota:o.C u.rency-SOcialistic.
Grand-O Old Peoples party.
But what if am?
What are they goin'
To do about il
That's what.
By zncss, l have come
To stay,
And no rszor back democrat
Nor slsb sided republican,
Nor ring-nosed mugwump
Kin root me GU:
I'm a i0-scre field,
Inst You kin raise anything on
From a mortgage
To a bale OF hay;
With a wagon LOAF
OF Gressin' throwed in,
And 1 don't give dura
Who knows it.
/ kin grub up . stump,
In two shakes of q lambs tail
And the old political
S'umps has got to come,
Ell l bust 4 bri,chin'
Ooin' Of it.
You hear me
Mebbe NV clothes don't e.
And my cow.lesther brogsns
Hsin't got no shine
On to 'em,
But that won't stop
Their kickiu',
Aud brains amt
Ia that eend
Neither
All the the American Eagle
Has got to do in this business
Is TO set quier on the fence
and watch nv
Thrashin' machine 20.
When that off mule
GIFTS down scra.chin'
His back up sgiu the feuc-!
Hand me that whip.
Gimme them lines,
Now.
Wo-haw,
Jeewhillikins.
Gosh.all. hemlock
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09
BASKET BIRTHDAY DINNER.
Yesterday ex.Officer w. T. Cor

Yesterday eX.Ofhcer w. 1. Uor.
rell sent to his son, A. A. Cor
rell, Of Denison, Texas, a large, fine,
new basket. heaped high and heavy
with a delicious dinner Of delicacies
and substantial. To-day the young
man will celebrate, far away from
home, his twenty.fitth birthday, and
no doubt these dainties from his
parents in S.sdslia will be q precious
remembrance to him.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

Every Boonvi!le editor, who is
about to leave that town now, is
spotted. If he has a woman any
where about him, the police whistle
is blown and the train stepped.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

The weather prophet of East Soda
liza says the rain is over. If the
weather next week does not improve,
somebody will be gathering stories.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

Boston Poet: 1t is said that q
whist expert knows a good deal,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09
for Infants and Children.

"castoris Is 30 vel adapsed to children that
recommend it e superior to any prescription
known 70 NE" II. A. ARcHzR, N. D.,
IL So. oxford ST., Brooklyn. n. 7.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

Buffalo Times: To tell the age
of a horse.rake examine its teeth.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

A Pettis county man dropped dead
one evening last week while milking
a COW. This ought to be a warning
to all husbands. Let your wife do
the mi'king.-Fulton Telegraph.
Brother Bell is rather hard on the
women, did be express himself thusly
down in S'aun:on, Virginia, few
wears ago?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-09

One Of our celebrated lawyers stop
ped on his way down Ohio street to
his office to get a cigar. He was
looking cross and surly and the ven.
der Of cigars. who is also celebrated
as an angler, handed him the havanas,
repeating slowly:
"You can watch and you can pray
And you can shout all day,
But you can't 60 a.fishiug
And observe prohibition
Cause a man amt built that way"
At first the lawyer lowered upon
the speaker ominously, but as the last
line was jerked out spasmodical.y, his
face was all lit up and his sweet smile
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

1T Gems very queer that in both the
Old and New Testaments the dog is
spoken # with such adherence, said
a well known canine physician. The
animal among the Jewish people OF old
was considered an unclean beast, and
the buying and selling Of him were an
abomination. The only reason | can
imagine for this fact is thai dogs we're
held in such idolatrous veneration by
the Egyptians, from whose tyranny the
Israelites had escaped. Figures Of the
beasts appeared on most Of the temples
of Egypt, and in the religion Of that
land anciently they were regarded as
emblems Of the divine being. The peo-
pie Of every family actually shaved
themselves when a dog belonging &c
them died. as a sign of warning .-Wash'
ington Star.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
A Big Pie Display

The greatest pie display Of which
history tells us took place in 1903, at a
dinner given after the funeral Of Al
brecht ". king of Bavaria, AT the royal
palace in Munich. There were seven
great pies upon the table, representing
the seven e Of the world. The first
pie was made Of apples. IL represented
Adam and Eve. the tree of knowledge
the snake and the apple. The pictures
were made upon the crust win confec-
tons of sugar and almonds.
Another pie was made of doves, and
bore a wonderful representation of
Noah's ark i'm its center, while round
the edge were placed figures Of every
created thing. \ key went with this
pie in order that it might be determined
| what these dgures we're intended 70 rep
resent.
Upon the crust Of these wonderful
pastries appeared the tableaux OF Alb
raham sacrificing Isaac, David Staying
Goliah. the ravens feeding Elijah, sam
som tearing open the jaws Of the lion.
and the last and most wonderful Of all
the pies when opened was found u
contain four living birds, which all be
gan 70 sing.-New York Press.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
Two Cruel PunIshments.

The gantelOpe, OF gauntlet, was mlh-
tary and naval punishment for theft.
A man had TO run the gauntlet Of a
long file of his fellow soldiers, each pro-
vided with q switch, and to prevent
the sinner going too rapidly, and TO see
that no man., impelled by motives OF
friendliness or kindness, failed 70 strike
hard. a sergeant walked backward,
facing the said sinner, with a halberd
pointed at the latter's breast. After a
lengthy experiment this was found TO
be inconvanient and degrading, so re-
course was had TO another method-a
variety Of the same species Of torture.
The offender was tied 10 four halberds'
three in a triangle and a fourth across.
The regiment or company then filed
off, the cat-o'-nine-tails was placed IN
the hands of the first man. who gave
the culprit a lash and passed on, hand
ing the cat to the second, who also
gave a lash, and so the game went
| merrily on until the ofense had been
expiated. London Graphic.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

the father of the Poet and Peasant"
overture The latter was composed to
an entirely different piece and fell nat;
the author then tried it at intervals OF
six months and a year with two other
PLAYS and no one found it pretty.
Lastly. because there was not time to
write a new overture, it was used with
a long forgotten farce called Poet and
Peasant" The farce was successful
and people endured the overture. Then
somebody asked permission to publish
it in a journal. arranged for the piano.
Soon everybody was playing it, Then
a music firm bought of Suppe for S2s
the right and published the score
They made a clear $4,000 with it
Boston Pilot.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

1.-THE two Humes" of whom Smollett
wrote were unquestionably David
Hume and John Home, the author OF
douglas, f" as both of Thorn were often
IN his society in Edinburgh. 1t is said
that the only approaches TO a disagree
ment in the long and intimate friend
ship existing between these two
Humes" were regarding the relative
merits of claret and port, and l rela-
ton to the spelling of their name, the
philosopher in early life having adopted
the photography indicated by the pro
nunciation, the poet and preacher al
ways clinging TO the old and invariable
custom of his family.
David carried the discussion so Tar
that on his deathbed he added a codl-
ell TO his will, written with his "
hand. TO this effeet: Il leave TO my
friend. Mr.. John Home, of kilduh, ten
dozen Of my old claret at his choice
and one other bottle of that Liquor
called port. / also leave him six dozen
of port. provided that he a%ttests, undeI
his hand, signed John Hume, that he
has himself alone finished that bottl'
at a sitting. By this concession he vii
at once terminate the only differences
that ever arose between US concerning
temporal matters. Laurence HuttoE
in Harpers
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

A touching incident occurred on
Blaekwelrs island when the bell of the
new chapel was hung. II was rung for
the first time TO test its sound, which Is
peculiarly resonant and sweet. After
a few minutes trial the archdeacon,
Who had ordered the bell to be rung,
sent word to stop the ringing, fearing
that it might annoy toe inmates Of the
almshouse. At this moment a lady
Who had been visiting in the dOrmi
tories came out TO ask as a favor that
the ringing might be continued.
She said that many Of the poor old
inmates had burst into tears when they
first heard the sound of the bell; and
fbev declared that it recalled TO them
the blessed Sunday bells of childhood
IN the home far away. The sweetness
Of that toIling bell seemed to sen
benson through those drsary wards
and to bring back memories full o.
Christian comfort and aspiration to the
inmates-Young Church
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
THE DAILY JOURNAL,
ESTABLISHED. 1881.
NILES CITY. MONJAN Ma.
Fnday. Arprh 3, 1891
HOW some MEN PROPOSE.

esssr5es from one Person Who Is Intense
" Interested In the STfjeet.
Il am a crank. " said the club man,
-,on the subject of proposals. would
mfher hear a story of a man asked
the woman he loved TO marry him than
to take a trip to Europe. L don't
know why | take so strong an interest
IN this. unless it is that | had such a
hard time to get my wife to accept me.
had been in love for years. l had
proposcd 10 her seven times and she
refused me every time. Finally went
TO her in despair and said; Well Mol
lie. I've asked yOu 10 marry me seven
times. and YOU have declined my name.
I'm going 70 ask you once more, and u
YOU don't marry me / shall go out west
and stay there
".Wen. Jack she said, if you feel
that way about il III marry you To
this day she cannot tell me why she re
fused me so often to marry me after
all.
There's my friend, Congressman
<. He was a poor young man,
and one day he went 70 a young wom-
an whom he had known for a long
time.
Nell be said, 1 have been waiting
TIL / had enough money TO get mar
ned. Ny salary was raised yesterday.
Will you marry me next weekF
Wait until next month, she said
.s'No. next week, and they were
married next week.
Brown, the lawyer, wa a careless
Young fellow. Tie whom he
loved would not marry him.
eYouare tn, most reckless man in
the world she aid, about money AFT
fairs. When you get S, 900 in the bank
Imay marry you-h you still want me-
He went way and saved $1,000.
She married ! m. and today he's a rich
man. He learned economy while win
ming his wife.
NV friend Col. H enlisted at
the outbreak Of the a
Joe he said To the girl he wanted
10 marry, L am going down south &c
fight. viii you marry me now or wait
till / come back
nlAAAN INV I'LL az f ~
that afternoon be marched away.
my brother proposed in a cool way
He hadn't been able 10 make up hi
mind what he was going to do in life
and one day the woman who is nov
his wife said:
Charley they were second eousins)
what in the world are you going L
make out of yourselfF
"tJust whatever you make out o
me- be said; you've got lots NOR
n than l have, Name
HAS any one here any stories to te.
about proposals" continued the stor
teller. Il don't know of a single cas-
where a man went down on his knees
would like to hear of one. No on
viii tell one, ehl Well, I'm sorry.
IKE 70 hear about proposals. Ne
York Tribune.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

An investigation into some real estate
titles. says a B~randenburg correspond
cnt. recently made at that place re
vealed the peculiar id~iosyncrasy pf a
former resident, Mr. Louis Hamilton in
naming his children. The names OF nus
children are London Judge, Hebrew
Fashion. Chinese Figure, Reputable
Kingdom, Greek Wisdom.-Louisvllle
Courier-Journal.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

A pew process Of preventing horns
from rowing on cattle is coming into
general use. 1t consists in placing a
small quantity Of potash on the parts
of the head where horns are about to
appear when the calves are two or three
weeks OH In every cas- where it has
been tried the process has proved a
complete success-Cor. 81. Paul Globe
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

PHza 70 cHn
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
TINE SCHEDULE
UHhS. a. gEE

en- rec and Ticket Agent,
,s. go. MINI
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
THE ODELL
Type w riter.

AOn will buy the ODELL TYPE WRITER
pAO with Is characters, and els for the SIN
Ill Cash ODELL, warranted TO do better
work than any machine made.
II combines SIMPLICITY with DURABILITY,
SPEED. EASE oF oPFRATIoN, wsan longer without
cost Of repairs han any other machine. Has no
ink ribbon TO bother the operator. II is MAT
~u-BsrANrtAL, nickel plated, perfect and adapted
70 All kinds Of t~ype-vrting. Like a printing
press, 1t produces sharp clean, legiols manu-
scripts. Two OF ten copies can be mad one
~vrit,pg. Auy intelligent person can becon. "a
100, IN two DAYS. We oder $1,000 10 an
onsrator uho can equalt the WORK Of the DOUBLE
CASE oDELL
edducemints e. Dealers.
rssor Pamphlet givihS lnuoeeHu' &C" 7"
FsIR ODEJ
S5snd S5th
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03

Very few know anything about
Suppe, the composer Of "Fatinitza'
nDd several other DoDular oDeras and
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1891-04-03
RUNE

n
Past Trains with Pullman Vestibulei brA-
az Room Sleepers. Dining Cars and Coaehss ~
atest desi gn, between Chicago ana Mhii"
ant st. Paul and Minneapolis. ~
Past Trains with Pullman Nesibuleo 49,
Ing Room ~Sleepers, Dining Cars and Coeenea y
latest design, between Chicago and MILWAUKEE,
and Ashland and Duluth.
Through Pullman N~estibuled DfaN.ps
Room and ColOnist sleepers via the Norths
ern Pacific Railroad between Chieas". Anu
Portland, Ore. -
Convenient Trains to and from EAserni
Western, Northern and Central wisconsin lSlnus'
Afording uneQualled service 20 and IRON wan
kesha. Fond du Lac. Neehah,
MeuashA. Fails, Tau CAlIe
Hurley. Wis, and and Befsemer'
Mich. 49,
For tickets, sleeping car reservations, tims
tables and otner information, apply 20 Agents =,
The line, or 70 Ticket Agents anywhere 10 NV
| Uaited states or Canada u-rs
:. X. AINSLIE. Genn MgT Wis.
| J N. ASNAFO D,Gtn1Trat.M gI - paul s,lh1
| n. BARLOW, Traf. Mrg, Wis
] IOUIs ECKsTEIN, Assistant General fssr
and Ticket AGENT. MlLNAs
, 1891-05-23

These springs are randy becoming ia
nous on account of the wonderful cura-
tive properties of the waters, and the
many marvellous cures which have been
effected By the thermal baths.
The town and springs are delightfully."-
situated IN a picturesque valley in the
Black Hills country, aboundlng in beau
titul scenic effects and at an altitude of
3,4OO feet above the sea level; thus insur-
ing a pure atmosphere and exhilaraung
climate, absolutely free from malaria.
Under the enterprisiBg and progressive
Management of the Hot Springs company
many desirable improvements have been
made; among the number the erection Of
a cOmmOdious bath house fitted up with
all modern convenience for the comfort
Of guests. New hotels rave been built
and comfortably furnished throughout,
conducted in first-class style and at rea-
sonable rates. Those who prefer stopping
at a private house will find many board
ing places where good accommodations
are furnished, and at moderate prices.
The superior daily service now afforded
by the Burlington route to Hot Springs,
with through sleeping car accommoda-
tons from Omaha. Lincoln, Aurora and
Grand Island, makes the trlp an easy and
enjoyable one; ard for the benefit of all
who desire to test the efficacy of the
waters, round trip tickets at reduced rates,
good for ninety DAYS, are now on sale at
all offices OF the Burlington route.
For pamphlet, descriptive of the
springs. and full information at to rates,
time, etc apply to any agent Of the com
pany, or to j. FRANCIS,
Gen'l Pass'r 4 Ticket Agt., Omaha,
Neb.
, 1891-05-23

RAPID CRY. May 22-Coroner j. f.
Warrick passed through yesterday on
his way home to Whitewood. DR. War
rick has Just returned from the head Of
Rapid creek, eight miles from Rockford
where he had been called to hold inquest
on the body OF George Headland, a
Swede, who met a herrible death on Sun.
day evening. Headland and a fellow,
countrymau had constructed a Swedish
bear trap and deadfalL The bottom OF
the fall held a number of upright hard
wood sticks, sharpened and pointed with
steel, which we're TO impale the bear
when the trap was sprung. Not believing
his weight would spring the trap, Head.
land walked out on it 10 fix the bait, The
trap did spring, aud he fell prone on the
instruments below. One OF them pen
etrated the abdominal. another the plural
cavity. Death must have been ~instantan.
eous, though the companion, who quickly
as he could, lifted the mangIed BODY to
firm ground, states breath fingered full
five minutes. The remains we buried at
Rockford yesterday. Little is known of
the victim. He vas 4 single man about
IS years of age, and a few weeks ago
located at the place Of his death, stating
then that he had previously resided at
Black Hawk, Meade county.
, 1891-05-23
STATE OWNERSRLP.

The commercial congress after 8 very
full discussion of the question Of state
ownership OF public lands adopted the
following resolutions:
Resoluei, That il is the sense of this
congress that the general government
should, under proper restriction. cede to
the several states and territories OF the
arid region the public land within their
borders, excepting such lands as are more
valuable for mining than agricultural pur.
poses,
Prouded, That no state or territory
shall be permitted to sell such lands ior
less than Sl.25 per acre, nor more thar
$40 acres to one person, nor to any other
than an American citizen, who shall, al
the time of purchase. be an actual citizeu
Of the state or territory 10 which sai l
land shall lie, aud
Provided further, That said state or ter.
ntory shall apply the funds arising from
the sale OF said lands to the reclamation
Of the same and to school purposes.
Resoluod, That the national government
shall make such appropriations as may be
necessary to place under irrigation those
lands which have been settled upon as
agricultural lands aud proven unfit there
Aa-
, 1891-05-23
POWDER AM BALL.

The name OF the new British battle ship
Is to be changed from Renown to Empress
Of India
The British navy ever since Drake in
1879 has had a Revenge in it. The twelfth
has just been launched.
The defenses OF Portsmouth, England.
are under discussion 1t seems to be agreed
that the Qualifications and armament are
absolutely worthless.
Every French soldier receives from the
ministry Of war a package containing anti
septic cotton bandages and two safety
needles. He will carry the package with
him into battle, SO that II wounded, the
materials for dressing his injuries will be
at hand for the field surgeon.
The fast torpedo boats Boomerang and
karrnkatta, OF 1856 tons and $500 horse
power, which are being built for the Aus.
trian government at the Armstrong works,
will be in the water in a few months.
They will have a speed Of tyenty-oue knots
and will be armed with two twelve cent?.
meter guns and four rapid-ire guns.
By direction Of the acting Secretary OF
War, Captain Edward Field, Fourth arrill.
cry. will visit the encampment OF the GeOr
gia militia at Camp C~hiCkamauEa, begin
ming JUNE 10, 1891, and continue from fouf
to six weeks, for the purpose of inspect.
ing and instructing the troops taking part
therein, aud On the completion OF this duty
will return to his proper station.