davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

II HE EVIDENTLY TOLD THE TRUTH.
A certain caravan orator at fair
after a long yarn descriptive Of wha
was to be seen inside, wound up by say
ing:
Step in, gentIemen, step I'm. TAX
my word for IL, you will be highly dc
lighted when you come out. Londol
Tid-Bits.
PRETTY FAIR SNOW.
Mrs. Snubbing-I wish / could d
something that you would admire and no
criticise as you always do.
MIR. Snubbing-I admire everything
you don't do, my dear, and that OPEN
up immense possibilities for you.
SEvER-FAILISG SCHEME.
Hunker-The rain-inducing bushes,
is new thing entirely, believe?
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.! / could al
ways bring on a smart shower by going
out without an umbrella and with my
boots nicely blacked.-[New York Sun.
A STATIONERY CONVERSATION.
'tYou have so much address / car
hardly be expected to compete with you, y
said the letter to the envelope.
Now, don't get excited replied the
envelope, "because you know you can't
contain yourself. - Brooklyn Life.
THE hidden HAND"
Alfred de Boisolaque returns from his
club with black eye.
WHO has done that?" inquiries friend.
THAT little fellow Zede threw his
glove at me-
"His glove? And leave mark like
that?"
"You see, he had left his hand in it,
LIE Petit Parisien.
PUTTING HIS WORD INTO PRACTICE.
An aged clergyman met man loudly
declaiming against foreign missions.
why" asked the objector, doesn't the
Church look after the heather at homer"
"We do, said the clergyman quietly,
and gave the man tract London
Tit-Bits.
BURGLARS ABOUT.
Little Girl (weeping)- Somebody has
stolen my doll. =
Mother-Your doll! Which one?
Little Girl-The oldest and incest one
of all, the one that didn't have any legs,
or arms, or hair, or eyes, or anything
GOOD News.
NOT DEEP.
He-I always have you in my mind
ShA-I Aapff oksaok e. l..
ger OF my getting beyond my depth.
NOT ALL BRAIN WORK.
Physician-Do you ever take any
exercise?
Cholly-Aw ya-as-I vol my own
Il Epoch.
TBoUGnrLRss.
Mrs. Brooks-You say the doctor
didn't get there until two hours after her
dog died? That's very strange.
Mrs. Banks-I don't think So She |
sent her husband after him. West
Shore.
THE USUAL WAY.
A woman came after
The very first man;
And that is how
The trouble began.
= Baltimore American.
TOO GOOD ALL OF SUDDEN.
College PRESIDENTIAL the boys have
attended Prayers- regularly this week
Professor-Not one has missed for two
weeks.
President-Humph! Some mischief is
brewing Good News.
VERY LIKELY NOT.
~ think I'll let my mustachc grow"
aid Chappie.
''Oh, | wouldn't" said Maud. II don't !
'elieve it wants to-"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

YOUR fellow that fourishes q hand
ful of bank notes in your face is show
tjng You al the property he owns In
tcsworld. It is the man who car
ries 6ply few lonesome nickels in
his pants>pocket who is most likely to
be the capitalist.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

A horse tread-mill grinding sugar
cane and pressing out the Juice fol
sale to passers-by is an odd feature OF
the wayside in Tampa and one or two
other Southern cities. The liquid
sells for a nickel glass and many
people like 1t. 1t tastes insipid and
sickish sweet to Northern palate.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

THEY now say it is wicked to drown
kittens. Putting chloroformed cloth
IN the end Of a stocking, and poking
tho kitten's head down in it, ia tho
latest way.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
GOSSIP FROM GOTHAM.
SUMMER rs OVER. AND SHE'S
GLAD OF 1T.

The Frequenter Of the Resort May Now
Enjoy Little Privacy Town L. Thought
20 BE the Proper Place for the Real
Woman Of Fashion = Draped Corsages
Wan he Popular, Etc.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

A WANDERING American has been
arrested in Germany for photograph
ing the Notifications. He pressed the
button, and the soldiers did the arrest.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

LAKE URUMAH, in Persia, 1000 feet
ABOVE the sea level, contains nearly 90
per cent OF salt, being salter than the
Dead Sea, and no living thing finds com
lori In this brine except small jelly fish.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

ances, werc not deserving Of anything
worse than one OF the plaques Of
Egypt In a mitigated form.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

JERsEYMEN may take heart. News
from Alaska states that a swarm OF
mosquitoes there recently attacked
and killed a bear.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
MICHIGAN STATE NEWS
OCCURRENCES DURING rHr
PAST WEEK.

Close Call for the Doctor-Another Balloon
ist Killed and his Companion Injured. az
Mount Pieasant-Faiisd both as writer
and Orator.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
play dlscordant tone or be guilty of a

IhISe Chord.
My third illustration presents a very
pretty morning dress, white bati,te
delaine arranged IN combination with
gray SILK, tho latter being embroidered
with large white and yellow daisies
The effect OF this combination Is partic-
ulariy pleasing, as we'll from the original
style OF make as from the harmony Of
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

A certain caravan orator at fair.
after long yarn descriptive Of what
was to be seen inside, wound up by say
ing:
Step in, gentlemen, step in. Take
my word for II, you will be highly de-
lighted when you come out. London
Tid-Bits.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

SMoKELEss powder is a great in
vention, II you can only induce the
other fellow to use il.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

THE principal business Of the arc
tic explorer consists of waiting for
somebody to come and get him.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
THE JOKER's BUDGET.
JEsTs AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

A Romance-Not for Him-she
Thought II strange-A Curious
Combination-It May Be SO, Etc. !,
Etc.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
A PRETTY FAIR snow.

Mrs. Snubbing-I wish / could do
something that you would admire and not
criticise as you always do.
MIR. Snubbing-I admire everything
you don't do, my dear, and that opens
up immense possibilities for you.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

DANIEL WINTER was undressed &c
quickly 1t made his head swim at West
bay City the other night. He is a
watchman in Smalley e. Woodworth,s
sawmill, and the main shaft caught him
by the slack OF his apparel. slashed him
around in a circle ten or fifteen times
and dropped him minus everything bur
his shoes and stockings and freckles
He was hardly conscious when picked
up, but came around all right
ONE of the most benevolent indiyid-
uals in Port Auron is Detective Buck-
ridge. Under ordinary circumstances
he wouldn't hurt a fly, but there are
points at which he draws the line. He
drew 1t the other day when Joe Clemmo
took two Of the officers fingers into bis
mouth and began to eat them Mr.,
Buckridge made up face that tickled
the bystanders half TO death, and stood
II as long as he could, and then he took
his handouts and knocked the cannibal-
istic Clemmo down and ran him in.
WHEN Hiram c. Myers was 8 years
old, wagon loaded with pretty near a
ton OF hay ran over him and the grim
reaper almost gathered him in under the
most cut TO pieces In an edger at the
lumber mill. He had divers other rar-
row escapes, but the scythe man let him
jog on until few days ago. He vert
to work In a lumber camp near Muilet
Lake, Cheboygan County The next
day he tried to save his team from n
failing tree and was crushed atsthe age
of 81.
In investigating the symptoms of A
sick sheep, with view to determining
whether Mckinley had anything to do
with It's fndisposition, Herbert Flaus-
burg. OF Flynn Township Saniac Coun
ty, found live frog roosting in the AMI
mars throat. The sheep recovered after
its removal.
MRS FIDELIA KIRK, OF Mason. As
years old was found dead, and the au-
thorities do not know whether she com
mitted suicide or was poisoned by some
body else. AS precaution they have
arrested Bion Harper. Neither Harper
nor the widow has ever stood very high
In Mason Society.
ASHLEY HART, an old and respected
citizen OF Armada. was the victim of a
runaway which will result in his death.
II Is said. He was unloading hay at the
station when his team ian, and In try
Ing TO stop them he was dragged twenty
rods, his collar bone and several ribs
being broken and hts head badly cut.
He is 66 years old
JAMES HARcoURT, who shot Eau Dunn
In the back at Trout Lake a while ago,
because Dunn had killed Harcourrs
brother, will have to go to the Marquette
prison for ten years Judge Steere pro-
nounced the sentence at the 500. after a
pitiful plea by Harcourt for mercy on.
Rccount OF his wife and baby. Har-
court proposes TO appeal.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

THERE is no menace implied when
dentist shows his teeth.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08

ROMANCE.
Two hearts that beat as ono
A heavy step--a scare
And when her pa arrived
One heart alone was there.
NOT FOR HIN.
my love is like the red, red rose, -
sang he.
"Then you cannot have me-" said she.
The red, red rose fades in less than
three. days. "-l Harper's Bazaar.
SHE THOUGHT IT STRANGE.
Clarissa-And young Freshleigh has
proposed to you?
Ethel--He has.
Clarissa-Well, il is very strange.
Ethel-Why is it strange?
Clarissa--Well, you see, they have al
ways said that he would be hard to suit.
New York Press.
CURIOUS COMBINATION.
"Young Pusher, the book agent, has
married the loveliest and sweetest girl in
town.
"Well, why not?"
"Oh, it's all right, but they'll form
curious combination"
"How?"
why, she's all honey and he's all
gall"
1T MAY BE SO.
"Oh, Harry" she whispered, 81 love
you so much, but really I'm too young to
think of getting married right away"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1891-10-08
A SEvER-FAILISG SCHEME.

Hunker-The rain-inducing business
is a new thing entirely, believe?
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.! / could al
ways bring on smart shower by going
out without an umbrella and with my
boots nicely blacked.-[New York Sun.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
NEW YORK fORrIfiCATIONs.

Anour one week MO IN, I,c,i.la.
tir, Of IN, s,ate of Now York c,Jsd "a
IN, General ooyernm,nt hand I'm ami
around New York clty. for p,,rno..s a,
defens. I'm ems, Of attach, IN, ou,.,
line of defense will La renewed ,Ix
miles beyond its pr,sent limit tn,
plan Of defense 10 be adoptcd 1. In
harmony with TINT outlined bv a.n.
eral sheridan some wears AGO
plumb Island I'm sb..r.h..d Ia,
north Of Coney Island /. Ia h. Given
Ia IA, limited States ON ,h,s u,It A.,
erected n mortar bal,,,v M The lat,
approyed pattern. Al sandy Hoo. n,.,
fortIaca,ions nv. h.ing .,oo,eJ .a',
nav batt.r,e. .I.o con.,,nc,,d rs..,
two b.,,e,,.s plumb I.I.nd at -,
Hook. viii ufoteot m. ,n,ran.. % ~,
York cI,v srom m. h,Ian,,. -
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
IN SOUTH AMERICA.

THE South American continent has
long been noted for the tendency Of
the Inhabitants Of most ofthc countries
upon 1t TO indulge In instructions and
revolutions. A war OF this character
ls now In progress, Ia Chill, and there
Is no telling what consplracles OF a
political character promising war, may
be afoot. But commissions Of n sort
quilt. different from the carnnl war.
fare OF which South American nations
have seen 10 much, have recently
taken place In some oftbom. Financial
CRASHES are here referred 10. In the
Argentine Republic these were
especially extensive and disastrous last
year. II was owing 10 the panic In
that country that Barring Brothers OF
London failed, thereby prccipitatlng u
monetary striDgency In England that
extended TO the United States.
Enormous sums OF English capital
have been invested N South America
within the last few years, especially In
the Argentine Republic and Brazil.
inc great financial panic In the for
mer has not put a stop to the "boom"
In tho latter country, which Ia favor.
tie Held, a'thc present time for foreign
investors anu specuiaton. Railways
are oe'ng ouiit' anu other similar Inn
proVeinene are being made, necessi'
ai'ng inc expenditure Of vast sums
OF money, ana Brazil Is consequently
advancing rapidly In development as
CIVILIZED natlon.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
BRITISH FEDERATION.

PERHAPS, after all, the agitation in
ireland il not an unmlxcd evil TO Eng
land. II IL to him that the ventilation
Of the landlord system In tho British
ISLANDS must he credited. The princi.
ple Of federation which now prevails
In all tho British colonial possessions,
might be attributed TO tho political
education which wide discussion Of
the question Of Home Rule for ireland
has dlfiuscd. Tho American colonies
werc lost to England because OF the
obsllnacy Of her statesmen In not
listening 10 oven moderate demands for
local political management.
The agitation for an Australian fed
Grafton commenced eight years ago
when convention was held mt sgd.
ney. Nothing was then effected.
Simply because neither tho colonists,
nor the English statesmen, had given
the matter the consideration II do.
served. But since that time marked
change has taken place. In Scotland
thercarc several prominent newspapers
advocating Hsmc Rule for ireland,
and for tho colonies as we'll.
In Wales II Ia tho Same. In
England public opinion works more
slowly, but gradually she IL coming 10
handle these matters seriously. Aud
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

them have something Of great worth
for one-fourth Of it, value, are not over
whclmingly numerous. When one Of
the genuine sort Is found the dlscov.
erer viii make moro money by enter
ing Into partnership with the
phenomenal character In the dime
museum business than by buying his
solid gold bricks. Such scarce
specimen Of the genus homo would
draw well II placed on exhibition.
Confidence gamrs are generally nc
companied by some degree Of mystery
private interviews are n necessity.
This Ia not even excepted in the old
jowclry trick, In which the posscssor
ora valuable diamond ring draws the
article cautiously from his boot and
tells how II belonged to wealthy
family and how hc obtained !. when
on a voyage 10 India.
IL Ia well that people In general
should look with suspicion upon people
who propose 10 make them nabobs
by sudden method at their expense.
And Il Is good thing not TO attempt
to heap up riches by questionable
process, to which class the mysterious
gold brick purchasing Transaction be-
longs,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
An UNPR0GRIssIyE TOWN.


AS CARTILAGE. Illinois, was the
scene Of the cruel assassi nation OF the
Prophet Joseph Smith anu his brother
Hyrum, tho Patriarch, the following,
from tho Nauvoo Rustier, will be read
with some interest by u number Of our
readers:
"Bohind tho aiIeciation OF enterprise In
our weak little sister city. Carthage, ap.
pears 80 plainly the deorco written upon
its court house that all thou hast Is In the
past it, efforts to blow itself up To q
rivalshlp OF Nauvoo will result dl.as.
trously and eXploslvoly, aud II is Doubt
fil whether there is anything left for tho
town TO do except 10 settle down ~ a
suburb OF Nauvoo. Commercially, it,
history Is dotted with failures, socially,
it, record has boon -candnlous; naturally,
Its location II unfortunate, aud prophetic.
ally, Its fniuro Is dead limo to zero. In
the whirl Of tho coming boom She will 10
forgotten and II Is sad To reflect that our
little nelghbor In destined 10 become de-
sorted village whose demise may bo po-
etlcally wopt over by some coming Gold.
smith. Great ciiyls Carthage"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

board desired to have bonds Issued tol
the amount Of 100000, In place Of
si50,0OO, a. recommended by Col. Mel
son, hut that sum Is too large. The
amount voted upon AZ The recent cleo
tion, 100000. with an addition to that
sum Of $3.50, 0OO--lo be raised for reim'
bursing taxpayers-is enough.
The contemplation Of this subject
compcls recognition Of the fact that
our municipal dobt is increasing with
great rapldity. city bonds TO the
amount Of ssOo,O)O have been sold dur
ing the present administration, and
others TO the amount Of sso1,OoO are
about to pc disposed of. lfsi5O.Ooo
worth ofschool bonds shall he issued,
our municipal debt ought 10 he deemed
heavy enough to satisfy even those
who regard such a burden rs good
thing. The above figures should lie
considered In connection with the fact
that the Peoples party left In the city
treasury over $3.50, 900, fourteen months
ago. Such pointers aid the taxpayers
Of this city In forming an Idea whittier
We are drifting under "Liberal" rule.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

completed yet do not know. I believe
The bill extending tho Union Paoifc debt
to the Government at 27i per cent. interest
will eventually be passed. Tho measure
IL perfectly fair. II insuros payment Of
tho debt The Union Pacific has about
sro miles Of road and extensive coal
properties capable Of yielding large row
enuo. The present lien held by the Gov
cfnncnt covers only about 400 miles o
the road. We ofiera lien on tho entire
systom."
Regarding the political situation he
thinks that tho Harrison administration
Is COED one, and is bringing pros.
perity to the country. Blaine and
Cleveland are both good men. In fact
everything aud evcrybodyi IA good, nc.
cording to Mr.. Gould. lie IL an Opt.
mis-. and philosopher. and well he
might, for he owns s2OO,OOO,OOO.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
A PROPOSED ADJUSTMENT.

THE proposition made by Chairman
Nelson Of the school board TO that body.
last evening, looking TO an adjustment
oftho difficulty In reganl to school
taxes, embraces an element OF equity
that at least entities 1t 10 deliberate
consideration. Under the decision of
the Territorial Supreme Court, the
special school taxes were collected on
the roll Of tho wrong year, 1890 instead
OF 1850. Hence the collection was II.
legal, mud taxpayers are entitled to a
return ofthe sums they have paid.
Col. Nelson's proposition ia TO regard
tho amounts improperly collected rs
loans made by taxpayers 70 the school
board, and to issue bonds for tho pur.
pose OF raising money where with 10
pay those loaus. Alta cursory glance
there seems nu obstacle In the way OF
lllegality or injustice, to the carrying
out OF this plan. II, adopted, however,
II would render necessary tho Issue OF
bonds TO the amount OF $780, sO In
addition to the amount previously de.
termined upon, viz. $500, 900.
Some OF the menbors OF the schoo
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

Around his limbs and body was tightly
colled the "klng Of snakes" n great
python. an grab his head while you
untwist his tall" shouted Newberry,
and, with n spring, he caught the
serpent by the neck, close to the head.
IL took all the night clerks strength to
untwist the stoel-like coils OF
the angry reptile. Finally, the
arms u the professor were
freed and he grabbed the neck
Of the serpent, making at the same time
kissing noise with his lips. with
one hand he stroked the reptile until
he caught II firmly around the center
Of The body, and, with n deft fling,
threw II into the box and quickly shut
the lid. The work Of capturing the
smaller snakes was easily accomplished.
The snake was python about seven
feet long. IL could easily have
strangled H. owner.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
JAY GOuLD'S VIEWS on fINAN.
CiAL INTERESTS.

THE story Of Jay 0ould's ride from
Omaha to Chicago reads like chap pier
from some oriental romance. On the
IND Inst. ho left the Missouri river al
Ga. m. and arrived ut Clinton, Iowa,
at i;Oj p. M, n distance OF 852 miles In
seven hours aud i've minutes. From
Clinton To DeiSalb, 50 miles, wa,
made In one hour and twenty minute.
just mile minute. Bslween DE.
kalb and Geneva, runs were made
over short distances equal 10 lO2 miles
an hour. The time from Omaha to
Chicago, including all stops, was nine
houn and forty-nvc minutes.
In Chicago the ubiquitous reporter
was waiting for tho great little man.
Mr.. Gould did not try to escape the
knight Of tho pencil, but graciously
accorded AN interview. The subject
reviewed was the financial condition
Of the United States, which the mag.
nate thinks, Is better than that OF any
other country In the world. The
worst Of the Argentine panic Is over.
The present expectation OF gold IL
only the normal condition Of business
at this season. II will help Europe
now, hut II will come back again 10
buy our securities, which Will soon
spring up In prices.
Gould's review Of tho agricultural
situation is optimistic In the extreme.
The outlook for orops is unusually
promising. The acreage Of winter
wheat In Kansas aud Texas was
never larger Special provision Is
being made In the way OF transpor.
ation for tho prospective crop. Old
ears are being repaired aud new
ones constructed. The stock market il
agood Indication Of what the future
has In store. This market Is going IN,
and It's tone Is confident. The oporat.
ors are shrewd, and they know the
condition Of tho country better than
any other class Of men. This shows
that prosperity Is before us.
Mr.. Gould Is pleased that the Lerls.
lalurca have done nothing to cripple
railroad Interests, and us they do not
meet for two years more, the situation
Ia satisfactory, He thinks that the
Interstate Commerce law has wrou ia,
some good, but 1t has also done much
harm. He thinks that pooling under
government supervision should be
carried out, AS 1t Is done In England
In this way alone can weak railroad.
beprotected against the mpaci,y of m.
strong ones.
With regard to the reported cut In
rates ON the Missouri Pacific. Mr
Gould says the rates we've illed with tbe
Interstate Commissioner and bs
law complied with. Concerning tho
Union Pacific, Mr.. Could says:
Concerning the plan for rounding tbo
Union Pacific debt toannot saw mncI,
Tue plan was partially maturod when /
len New York, but whether Il has been
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

When you make up your mind to
take Hoods Sarsaparilla, do not be In .
duced to buy some other preparation
Instead. Clerks may claim that "ou rs
IL as good Us Hoods" and all tha, but
the peculiar merit Of Hoods Sarsap-
arilla cannot be- equsllcd. Therefore
have nothing TO do with substitutes
and insist upon having Hoods Ssrsap.
arllla, the best blood purifier and
building.up medicin" 8
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24
NATURAL FRUITFlEyoRs.


The Best salyc In the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever, Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay. required. II Is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded,
Price ~ cents per box. For sale by A.
&. Smith n Co.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1891-04-24

Dappcr-what Is the creates. lie,
Snapper, that ever impressed itself on
your experience?
Snapper-woll, by Mi odds tho worst
lie | ever heard was the one your
guartette perpcirated last night, when
they came around 10 the house and
sang "rhere's Music In the Air."-
10 ton Courier.