davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

Instead OF sending silly rhymes.
Just like pack OF ninnies.
But no. you needs must rack your brains
And have your labor for your pains,
Inditiny sentimental strains
To Poilies. Hates and MinnieS
And as for what they send to yoa.
Dear, dear it's stun and nonsense, too.
With more OF rhyme than reason.
They'd better far be at their books,
Or learn to be good. useful cooks,
Then sending r0leAtin,s. odzoolls!
Both in and out OF season.
What what? valentine for mY
Do hurry, boys, and let me sec
Who sent il now, wonder.
II must have bee n the Widow Grey,
I've o.tcl seen her look this way,
Well. VIC l. I'll let her name the day
A comic one. by thunder,
Helen Whitney Clark, in Good Housekeeping
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
FOREIGN lNrohAaArlopl

orraAN Africa b twice - large q
European Germany.
Nxxr to tho United States. Australia
e stated to give the most gold
TIM Monte Carlo shareholders 70
eeive thirty per cent. dividend pm
snnum. Il Il not strange that 80 many
people Of elastic conscience arc willing
to invest in gambling business.
Tue Pope has ordered tho enlarge
ment Of the reading-rooms and other
improvements in the Vatican. Ths
new Lconine library viii soon Be
ready and in it will be placed about
SOC, 900 books
THE Shah of Persia recently visited
the residence of the American mis-
sionaries in Teheran, the first time no
has ever SO honored any foreigners
there, and was delighted with the
housekeeping and especially with the
nrtesian well which they had sunk.
No PAPER or publication containing
the slightest reflection on the Govern
mcnt of Russia is allowed to reach tho
hands of the Car. and he is therefore
prone to believe that he is not only
the greatest ruler on earth, but that
I'll his acts are sanctioned by other M
tons.
| The late Baron Haussmann deserved
the credit Of making that part of Paris
most familiar to Americans. The Bots
dc Boulognc, the boulevards, and o
score of avenues, together with many
fountains, public gardens, churches
and theaters, owed to him either their
existence or their improved condition
BERLIN will have q new opcra-housc
between the Pottsdam bridge aid Potts
dam square within eighteen months
The building ard site will cost $3.50, 900,
which will be raised through the organ
ization Of O stock company. The stage
Of the new house will be open to lighter
opera than that given at the Grand I'M
perial Opera-Housc near the palace.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

A RAILROAD line will be built IN the
Caucasus along the coast of the Black
Sea. 1t will run from Vladikavkas to
Baku, over Grozniy, Petrovsk, Derbent
and Kooba. There is also project for
line to be built from Vladikavkas to
Tif1is.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
vh,l. vy.itin~ tor Ch.or-c.

Mrs. Sanso-Largc houses in this cit.
are now SO complete that they serv'
dinner for shoppers
Mr.. Sanso-But they'll not be Guit,
complete until they have lodgings also
|-Munsey's Weekly.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
A Rad Latter paY.

Bingo- My house burncs
down last night.
Kingley-What makes you SO glad
insurance.
Bingo-No. My wife's pet dog per
ished in the fiames.-Jury.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
ssAss 6ne fai . 1otzba / !.

stAn q 61s 6 &Ss s. s0'sSN ia
Frank =. C6A6eS fnafeo oath that be u IN
senior partner Of the Arm Of ,. ]. Cheney
3 Co., doing business n the City Of Toledo,
firm win pay the sum Of one HUNDRED DOL
LARS for each and every case Of Catarrh
that can not be cured BY the use Of Halls
Catarrh Cure ERAyKJ. CnExET.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, thiset day Of December, AID. 1SS6
lsEALl A.W. GLIAeoN, Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure u taken internally
and acts directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. Send for testi-
monials, free. F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
ZOE'S VALENTINE.
Tho Happy Ending of a Disastrous
Beginning.

DON'T see what
c on S in Zoe
wanted to send
a valentine for,
anyhow.
She'sawful old!
Most nineteen,
l guess. When
1 get as old as
that, I'm certain
l won't care
about sending
valentines.
But she did,
and she asked
me to post it on
my way fO
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

Angry Once Man Confound yor. yo'
don't work half the time.
Stylographic Pen And you DON
work the other half Our hours differ.
that's the truuble.-TexSs Siftin.a
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
WEST BROOK, NORTH CARoLIxa.

DIR. A. T. SHALLENBERGER,
Rochester, Pa Dear ST:-The two boxes
of Pills you sent me did everything you said
they would My son was the victim of Ma
laria, decp-set, by living in Florida two
years, and the Antido:e has done more than
five hundred dollars worth of other medi-
cines could have done for him. have had
one of my neighbors try the medicine. and
it cured him Immediately. ! now recon-
mend it to every one suffering from Malaria.
Respectfully yours, W. ". MONROE
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
"WHAT AN ASS An Tyr

The ass thought himself IS fine look.
ing as his neighbor, the horse, until he,
one day, saw himself in the looking.
glass, when he said "What IN ass am ".
Are there not scores of people who
cannot see themselves as others see
them? They have bad blood, PIN
Piles, blotches, eruptions, and other kim
bred disfigurements. All these annoy
ing things could be entirely esadicated,
and the skin restored to silly white
ness" if that world-famcd remedy, DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery,
were given a fair trial.
1t cures all humors, from the ordi-
nary blotch, pimple or eruption to the
worst scrofula, or the most inveterate
blOod-taints, no matter what their ma
ture, or whether they be inherited or
acquired. The "Golden Medical Dis
covery" Is the only blood purifier
guaranteed to Go just what It is rec
commended to, or money refunded.
WORLDS DIsFENsARr MEDICAL As
ISOLATION, Proprietors, No. e63 Main
Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

A MAN could not serve two masters in the
cid days, but nowadays sailors often serve
ce-mastcrs.-Pitsburp Chronicle
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

"JUsT slate this" said the customer to
the coal dealer, and the dealer did so to the
extent of about one-third.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

Don't Wheeze and cough when Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar will cure.
Pixies Toothache Drops cure in one minute.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

THE easiest way for prisoner to escape
from Jail is by fling his Objections.-Bing-
hamton Renuhl:caC
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
SPANS sHAkv THRONE.

oaeea-Regest Christina and the s,ekl,
Little King Alfonso.
Maria Christina, the Queen Regent OF
Spain. Is q daughter of Archdukc
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

WHEN tho pretty typewriter goes so far
as to put her arms about her employers
neck she is apt to say Of the process: alt is
the manifold"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
INDUSTRY HERE AND ABROAD.

TIE German Governments does not IL
low Russians to work in its powder fac.
tories.
A COMPANY with two million dollars
capital has been formed to work .
nickel mine in Oregon.
The largest linen mills in the world
are not in Ireland or In Germany, but
In Jaradova, Russia, where seveu thou
sand operatives are employed By one
concern.
An English company II working .
silver mine in Bolivia which yields
more than three hundred and sixty
ounces to the ton, while specimens Il
almost pure silver are met with
TIE Russian Government has issued
ON order forbidding the employment Of
Austrian worl1men either in agriculturs
or manufactures. Laborers Of this M
tionality are conducted to the Austrian
frontier every day BY hundreds
The great dam across American river.
California, has been finished. The work
was done by the convicta of Folsom
prison. and great benefitsjlm seerue .
Sacramento through the csmpaetaca q
the work and the canal, which win b
completed ut . later data.
II h IN tight Tor 1 nm - ~ -
caetyi but II his clothes Do, Il = 49, 8 -.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

"Do YOU follow mcP" said Tho cable to
the grip ayes, l catch on" replied the
grip, though sou do stretch it out good
deal"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

"AHr remarked the manipulating book
keeper, when he saw tho words "Post no
bills" 81 am anticipated"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

THERE is one very pleasant feature about
q sleigh-ridc on cold highland that is the
arrival home.-Norristown Herald.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

looling-glass in one side, framed in
gold, with verse under it that said:
LOOK in the glass and you wiz see
The dearest one on earth to me-"
But didn't exactly like that, and, be-
sides, had found a prettier one.
1t was bordercd with wreath of for
get-me-nots, and in the center was q
silver dove, holding out leaf, and on
the leaf was written:
Forgive and forget"
thought that would be very appro-
pirate. And Susy thought 30. too.
So bought It, and big envelope 10
put it in; and before sealed It mp
put in sns of Z0eis usrds Tt hap-
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13
A BACHELORS OPINION.

OOH, poohi its non.
sense. boys. I say,
To think the birds
should choose this
day
For billing and
for cooling.
Its only silly folk,
like you,
Who have no bet
ter work to do,
That waste their
time, and money,
too,
In such . sense
less wooing.
You'd better save
your prec lou s
djmeS
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

ONE ENJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figsis taken; it is pleasant
and refreshingto the taste, and acts
gently yetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures aabitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
It's many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made It
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 500
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it OH land will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to Try It Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA re SYRUP co!
sAs fRAScssc0. CAL.
f0003VIIkE. ~. new Y0&x. M
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

MANY youth tries to surmount the OBJ
stacles in life in jumping his board bill
Elmira Gazette.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

the other hand, If the wine bad leaked
out where was the consequent discolor
alton of the paper wrappings and Of
the other bottles, etc? A detective was
engaged from q convenient point OF
vantage to watch the ccllarmen in the
long hours of the dly, when they
roamed at will through the casks, bar
rels and baskets.
The cut tells the story. The cellar
men had a common yellow bowl If
which they kept ice for their own use
When one of them wanted a cooling
draught of champagne he went through
no forrnalitics at all. not even the cut
ting of q wire or the drawing of cork
He simply took a quart out of a case
cmptied the earthcnware howl of its
contents. stood an ice pick, point up. ir
the bowl and brought the followed bot,
tom of the bottle down with light
quick blow on the point of the pick. A
small, round. even puncture was the re-
suit, through which the champagne
flowed in steady stream into the bowl
There was no crash or cracking OF
kiuSS, VI VI biOiSSs uc WOOucL
handle of the ice pick prevented the
blow from breaking the bowl, and the
cellarman poured a libation to Bacchus
after carefully replacing the apparently
unchanged bottle back in is case.
Influence Of Example.
There are always new illustrations Of
the influence Of example" and here Is
one Of them: The proprietor Of largs
mercantile establishment in New Yort
City strides loftily across its floors ant
through its various departments daily
looking after things His stride j,
strong and impressive. and it is curiom
facl that. in the course Of years, thi,
stride has come to be unconsciouslJ
copied by all the employees in his cstab
lishment- The heads of department.
initiate his example by striding rapidly
acrsss the floor; SO do the clerks OF
every story; so do the boys in training
for clerkships- Some Of them formerly
walked about in a shutting way or il
other dubious ways; but. after awhile
all Of them stride in the proprietor
style. Even q couple of feminine type
writers In the establishment show by
their movements that they have felt the
influence of his strident example
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption
Cures where other remedies fail. PIC.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

Z. Uh10XosA6 0uakDnntRmyh n~o inpgUvod.
q 00A on1y - usedtn - aaz1y 0eaGas a oon-
3. MI AnGesA 81 somse1nss A1nl
e only . 49, oaeain tha iyDph.
.. 11yakc1D 0DkY 90 ~ IL -svo0 win meat cnEn
q r = ~ 1T ~ - %. diesass . s0mGetnos
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

II b IN right Tor q. WoQ . 49, r -.
cseeyi but u his clothee Do. Il = 49, 8 u.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1891-02-13

Q. Y1b1s Cuso 1br CONSUMPTION has Cured u. tho1-
49, even in advanced seasss a 90
h n can q ~ 4 s1 $500. s1sdfas a.A.aas
G Ms without danger. md ean4ee b f8eal
Q phyu111nD0 roopmmendk
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-17

How They Met.

A Court street car in Brooklyn stopped
at Harrison to let a lady wearing a
spring hat alight At the same moment
a lady wearing her winter hat wanted to
take the same car. They met face to
face on the lower step. They vera
strangers. The one with the spring hat
had the right of way, and she tossed her
head in defiant manner Winter Hat
felt that the odds were against her, but
she braced up and looked the other
square in the eye and refused to give
way.
"An outl" shouted the conductor,
reaching for the bellrope.
Spring Hat would not bulge Winter
Hat would not retreat.
"All aboardr'
Spring Hat glared at Winter Hat, and
the end of her nose was elevated a bit
Winter Hat returned the glare, and her
pug nose tried the same dodge, but
couldn't elevate.
Ladies', don't detuin the carr cried
the conductor, and his words encouraged
Winter Hat to renewed e1ertions She
pulled herself up the step, crowded
Spring Hat against the side of the car,
and entered tie door with a smile of
triumph on her face, The other stepped
off, gave her skirts shake and her head
toss and walked away, but despite her
dignity and defiance the conductor
looked after her and said:
Finest spring hat On the whole line,
but the lady inside takes the gate re-
eeipts. New York World
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-17

naturally great pride II ny personal APP
pearance. IL Is all L have. When one
has been endowed that way I do not
think it is wrong to add to ones per-
sonal beauty by shaving every five days.
spoke to Joe Harris, a member of the
Tennessee legislature, about this, and he
said it was rather tough to lecture with
-Nights-in-a-Barro beard, and
would I mind letting him shave me at
the junction, where we had to wait
thirty minutes. I thought moment,
and then said believed L would vent
ure. He was very kind. He did not do
it as general thing, but he wanted to
do me a favor, and he had nice razor
that came as prize to each subscriber
of The Little Hustler, monthly child's
paper.
We got off at the junction and retired
to the woodshed of pleasant little cafe
near by. The rest of the passengers
came along also. All of East Tennessee
not otherwise engaged came too. Some
left their work and came. They were
still coming when we got through. The
effects of the an9sthetic wore off as |
|
approached Lexington, and my face
panied me good deal, but looked bet
ter, every one said. Mr.. Harris deserves
my thanks, and heartily tender them.
l can truly say that l was never more
delightfully."- shaved in my life-by a
member of the legislature
Since then l have bought some razors,
and as write these lines 1 am nervine
myself up to try one of them Napoleon
said that the men who won victories and
conquered the world shaved themselves.
l have got some new shaving soap that
smells like the upper drawer of Cleopa-
tra's clothes press, and | have bright
new strop, with a red case for it, and a
beautiful pad of shaving paper, and a
hunk of alum to staunch the blood if
cut the core out of my Adams apple by
mistake Tomorrow, if the sign should
be right, l will shave myself.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-17

never had sign of dyspepsia after that.
went right along eating anything and
everything, but never an ache or pain
had l. This morning l had picked
horseshoe and toasted cheese for break
fast; this noon l ate broiled lobster
garnished with green cucumbers and
clotted cream; tonight shall have boiled
cabbage, goose livers and suet pudding
for dinner. l am marvel of health, and
have been SO ever since determined not
to let my stomach have its own way.
There's no dyspeptic in the world who
can't master his stomach if he only makes
up his mind to"-Eugene Field in Chi
cago News.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-17

soon at Coney Island, and tipping up
one side of the United States wherever
she treads the writhing streets. I saw
her on a bobtail car last summer. She
was standing up and holding a damp
dog. for it was rainy day. She was
holding on by a strap and starting the
gathers in her skirt good deal. Her
dress waist was made with a little jack
rabbit tail to it which hunched up more
and more as we moved along, and ex-
tended out over the dashboard, as may
say, like the tin, anti-caterpillar over
skirt on the giant elms of Boston Com
mon.
Her hair also was becoming disar-
ranged, and one could see sediment of
saleratus on her flushed scalp. She did
not know whether to let her hair come
down or ask some total stranger to hold
the dog. At that moment the car gave a
great lurch, and with a sob she sat down
in the lap of a man with raspberry
nose and deeply dyed anthracite whis-
kers. AS came away she was still sit
ting there, and, mingling with the dead,
museum black of his long jute beard, l
saw the loosened masses, the great
wealth of insincere and antique oak hair
which belonged, apparently, to the sal
eratus blonde.
But she is not here now. Neither is
the precocious Little Lord Fauntleroy
who usually frightens people Away from
a hotel He also has gone. You will
not see him here now. You can almost
enjoy yourself, it is so destitute of him.
The kicker also has gone. He did the
best he could for the last few days that
he was here, and then he found that one
man could not do the matter justice I'M
less he got clerk who could speak sew
eral languages. So he went away, and
now you can only see the freclzles on
the front of the counter where he has
Kicked against his bill.
Kansas generally and Hutchinson
proper are in a more hopeful condition
than for many years past. The abun
dant rains have guaranteed a good croI
already, and a good crop in Kansa:
makes the granaries Of the globe laugh
anu uOlu JuelT SUES WIFI III COuCedl6(
joy. Here also may be seen not only III
dustry but thrift. James Garvey, tn,
railroad rGncounter and after dinnel
speaker (also a good before dinner con
versationist), said yesterday that ;
neighbor of his advertised this spring
for 100men to catch driftwood on shares
He soon got nice little crew at work
and has built up good business, which
is almost devoid of the disagreeable ele
ment of risk. 1t is as safe as the indus
try so popular on Madison avenue ant
Fifth avenue, which is conducted by tn
bright youth of New York, and which
consists in stealing valuable cats ant
then waiting for reward Sometime
dog which is distasteful to Che hus
band is offered to one of these boys, witt
two dollar bill in addition if he vii
drown it. He keeps it until the wifi
offers five dollars for its return, and thel
he sneaks it around to the house, thu
making seven dollars on a 27-ounce do;
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-05-17
making seven doll,

sometimes. Lot booming seems to be
pretty well over, and now that the law
has gone into effect reserving 100 acres
of land in each county for agricultural
purposes there is nothing in the way of
prosperity.
Pueblo, Colo, is going to have min
eral palace that will certainly astonish
and delight everybody with its luxuri-
apce, taste and beauty. Abundance of
money has been produced, and the build
ing will be open by the middle of June.
1t will be the finest exhibit of minerals,
no doubt, in the world, and the building
will be worth going hundreds of miles
to see. The dome is said to be the sec
ond only in size in this country, and the
decorations are most beautiful. The
arts and sciences will also have a part of
the building. The Gold King, the Sill
yer Queen and King Coal will be beauti-
full and costly figures of great size, and
will be in session during the entire time.
The palace is Egyptian in style, with
American door handles.
Among other minerals to be exhibited
will be native gold, silver, platinum,
mercury, copper, magnetic ore, chronic
iron, cehbate, pyrites, galena, nickel ore,
quartz, feldspar, calamus, mica, beryl,
tourmaline, pearline, garnet, malachite,
Hittite, hornblende, serpentine, ashes
tos, wavettite, brucite, baryta, gypsum,
Gale spar, tale, stalactites, free silver
tale, stalagmites, fiuor spar, sulphur,
graphite, alum, borax, bluing, salt, coal,
lime, cement, green and dry hides, stove
wood and plastering hair. There will
also be pilasters of white and colored
marble, alabaster, onyx, agatized wood
and obisidan. Other things will be
added from time to time. 1t is really
going to be a most wonderful collection
of the rich minerals of the most wonder
full state in this most wonderful repub-
lie.
had. a strange and wild experience
last month. | had been in the hills of
North Carolina four days, and beauti-
full mauve beard had sprung up like a
bed of asparagus all over my face, be
cause was not within eight miles of a
barber shop. got on late train at
Biltmore. The Biltnore station was
formerly hog incubator, but it was
found that the air was so bad that the
piglets died off, and so it was condemned
and made into depot. sat there three
hours, and all that 1 could find to read
was copy of The American Beekeeper
for 1879, and it had been used to clean
the lamps with. But | read all of it.
| Part Of it memorized.
There was barber shop at Biltmore
but being Sunday it was closed while
the proprietor scrubbed the clotted blood
off the floor. do not shave myself yet
though l am going to try it this sum
mer. So took the train, bearded as
was like pard, as heard poet get of
the other day. stopped overnight al
Knoxville, but left before the shops were
opened in the morning That evening
had to argue in the hall at Dayton, o.,
and would get there at SIS p. m. So
saw no chance to get shaved. fee