The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-07-15
OLD HUNDRED, B, C, AND
THE BICYCLE.
BY AMOS II, WELLS.

Old Hundreds real name was p. T.
Simmons, "Just p. tt" he always IN.
sisted. "They don't stand for ANYTHING.
Father and mother ran out of names
when they came to me, and gave me ipi-
tails" So the village wag dubbed him
Old Hundred, for short, and the name
adhered.
For Old Hundred was one of those
dried up little men who might be con-
sidered twenty if some inconvenient cid
ladies did not remember holding them in
their arm; just forty years ago. He wore
a dainty juvenile mustache, walked with
smart swing, although one might no.
uce that his heels came down rather
stiffiy, and played games among the most
frivolous at the church socials.
lie was tailor, an excellent one. by
the way, and his apprentices had by this
time ceased to grin and chuckle when
their master sprang down from his cross
legged position on the table every morn.
ing precisely at ten, as B. G. passed on
her way to the postoflice, after the mail.
lie would jump down, snatch up his hat
in an absent minded, blushing way, aud
remark that the mail must be distributed
by this time. II the apprentices had
ceased to smile at this sort of thing. Won
may be sure that it had become an old
story.
Indeed, Old Hundred had been court
ing b. G. for a long, long time. And
that was too bad, because b. G. deserved
a better fate, more vigorous lover. No
one could tell when Susy Bennett was
first called b. @. IL Que could have told
that, you see, it would have given some
clue to her age. Susy was dear old
girl, however, with kind, laughing eyes,
and shrewd little brain of her own.
1t wasn't her fault II she was getting up
startlingly near very rheumatic forty
without netting Old Hundred.
For when mau has gone through
forty years with sneaking desire for
matrimony tiliilating his heart all the
while, without the grit aud manliness to
say so when given opportunity by the
proper person once, twice, daily, Cupid
despairs of him more than of the most
rabid mysogynist in Bacheloriom. There
is such thing, you know, as heart
which is too soft for those dainty little
darts, which merely nurses them as a
feather pillow would.
One day the ancient twain were stroll
ing back from the postoifice at 1880
A. M with the incipient courtship- air
which had been petrified so long ago.
She was smiling at him, bravely and
hopefully, and talking bright nothings,
while his feather-pillow of a heart
fluttered drowsily.
Suddenly there flashed around the cor
ner and bore straight down upon them
Will Davis aud Lucy his young wife, on
their bicycles, of for days holiday to,
gether, if one might judge from theil
bundles. Upright they were, noiseless,
swift, graceful aud full of life in ever,
movement and in every fiutteriug gar
ment, glittering eyed, with handsome
healthful faces.
Old Hundred and B. C. turned to gaz,
admiriugly after them.
''How finely Mrs. Davis ridesi" mur
INJURED Old Hundred.
and how exceedingly graceful Mr.
Davis isl" responded B. c. rather sharp
ly.
''Tve often thought that should like
wheel, said Old Hundred, with, o
course, no perception of her annoyance.
And l should enjoy one very much,
added B. @.
"Youl" Old Hundred blurted out
before he thought. He took meutal
credit to himself for not finishing thu
sentenced
"You can get tricycles nowadays fol
almost nothing" said b. c. slyly, "anC
OF course that is the only wheel you woulC
think OF at your time of life, Mr.. Sim
monsm
"Humw said Old Hundred, ant
"Hum p' said b. G..
Now don't expect to be treated to Q
lovers quarrel. Our sedate couple had
got far beyond that dangerous stage OF
courtship. Yet as they parted somewhat
grimly, 'I'n show hiui! !" muttered b.
c., and ''Pll show her" muttered Old
Hundred. And that very afternoon the
heart of the village bicycle agent was
made glad by an order for a lady's safe
ty, and an order for a safety for our
NSuSNeg tuilOl.
That was on a Monday, and our mar
rative calmly skips month at this point,
calmly and mercifully.
Frym time immemorial it had been
Old Hundreds habit to call on b. c. on
Sunday evenings. At the beginning of
his courtship, the hand of the feather
hearted tailor had quivered suspiciously
in the operation of shaving for this i'm.
Portant occasion. In the adjustment
of his neoktie his clumsiness had been
phenomenal-for a tailor. His steps ur
the broad walk which led to B. C.'s
front door had been noticeably unsteady.
B. G. had eoyly sent the servant to usher
him in, and often, with an affectation OF
careless indifference, received aim with
out rising from her chair.
All that had long been changed, bu