The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-05-27

wins the waters from the hardness
Of the heart.-Ge0rge Meredith.
Angry Guest-You said there
were no mosquitoes here. Look
how my face is bitten. Hotel Pro-
prietor (soothingly)-Tut, tut, man,
them's only bug bites.
Painful at Best: Tommy with
sore throat)-Maw, it hurts me to
eat. Mother--Well, dear, 4 wouldn't
eat, then. Tommy (tearfully)-But
it hurts me worse not TO eat.
Gloomy Prospect for George /:
Mrs. Hayseed-George writes that
he is taking fencin' lessons. Mr..
Hayseed-All right. I'll set him
to diggin' post-holes as soon as he
gifts outen college.
A Lost Art: New York has a
school where girls are taught to
cook, but the art of cookingis much
better understood in that city than
the art Of digestion.-MGCOa 1ele-
graTh.
In a Colored Sunday School /:
Matter-of--fact Scholar latter hear
ing about the prodigal son)-Dat
man sho' was foolish. Why didn't
he kill one O. dem little pigs std
o. eatin' de husks ?''
"Good morning, Pat; l hear
there's another pair of twins at
your house" " "Faith, it's triplets
this time. Be hivins, sor, I be-
lave the next II be quadrupeds. -
San Francisco Examiner.
Reassuring: Nervous Old Lady
ION fifth floor do you know wheth-
er the proprietor of this hotel has
taken sufficient precautions against
fire ? Porter-Yes, mum be has
it inshored for twicet wot it's worth.
fit had pleased God so TO order,
it would have been entirely possible
for an oyster to swallow Jonah -
quite as easy as for Jonah to have
swallowed an oyster. A miracle is
a miracle.-BGptist Teacher (PhiIa-
dephiaJ.
A Fallen Angel A Texas tramp
asked for q nights lodging on the
ground that, by taking him in, the
farmer might entertain an angel
unawares. This argument failing,
he proved his angelic character by
setting fire to the barn.
Dumley's Bright Outlook: Gun
derstand, Mr.. Dumley, that my
daughter will bring you no dowry
until after my death" eyes" re-
piled Dumley cheerily, "but you
know, my dear sir, that you are
getting well along in years."
An extreme specimen of dandy
alighted from a cab, and the poor,
famine-stricken mare turned her
head and looked at him. Eyes,
SalIie," said the driver, confiden-
TALLY, "that's the kind of thing wot
you have been drawin' around"
A Rebuke from the Bench Geor-
gia Judge Ito prisoner)-Young
man, you were blessed with noble
parents who inculcated in your
mind principles Of honesty, and
nightly offered up prayer for you
instead of which you go around
stealing ducks !
Robbie's Metamorphosis "And
who's this ?" asked Aunt Clara. as
she pointed to the picture Of club
by little tot in dresses, in the pho
togragh album. "That," answers
Robbie, who has been wearing
trousers for some time, ''is me
when l was GIRL"
Science on the Run: Doctor
Troubled with insomnia. eh 2 Eat
something before going to bed.
Patient-Why, doctor, you once
told me never to eat anything be-
fore going to bed. Doctor with |
dignity)-That, madam, was way |
back in 1889. Science has made |
great strides since then.
The Reason Why: "Papa, said |
his little son, "do the soldiers
wounded in the Sioux campaign re-
ceiye pensions like the veterans of
the regular army % "No, my son,
they do not" "Well, why not,
papa ?" persisted the child. "Be-
cause, my boy, soldiers in the reg
ular army cannot vote."-Lye.
Playing on the Ruins "These
fremen must be a frivolous set, )"
said Mrs. Spilkins, who was reading
a paper. "fWhy so ?" "I read in
the paper that after a fire was un-
der control the firemen played all
night on the ruins. Why didn't
they go home like sensible men, in
stead of romping about like child
rem 7"-Teras Siftings. r 4
Bicycling Not in Her Line: Miss
Backbay-During your visit to Bos-
ton, Miss De Porqueville, hope
you will join our society for psychi-
cal researches. / don't suppose
YOU have one in Chicago2 Miss
De Porqueyille (blushing)- Good
gracious, mol II isn't considered
lady-like. You know it is so hard
10 -er-er-straddle the machine.
N Y. Herald.
- sfrls