Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-01-30
PITH AND POINT.

A Greek dressing sack of Troy.
Life.
A sack suit-Thc fight of dis
charged official for rcinstatcment.-
Judge.
''Her hands were poem, says a
gushing writer. Rut what is poem
without feet2
The inquisitlSe deaf man does not con-
fine his "heyG"- making to the sunshine.
Boston lr0peler.
He lat 11:55 p. D.-ssI declare, tho
lamp is going outl" She-"Yes. The
lamp seems to have some idea of time.n
-Basar.
$50 you were in that wreck, were
you2 What were your sensations when
your car was tclescopeda" sob, saw
stars. "-Bazar.
Teacher-"How do YOU spend Sum
day, Tommys" Tommy-"I can't spend
it ct all. Pa makes us keep the Sab
bath. "-New York Herald.
The tongue that cuts like a. sabre trust
- Needs watching against abuse;
lis the only weapon that keener grows
AASAOh6Sl ~ 10 III USE.
Washington Star.
HER REQUEST.
When birthdays hour hos come again.
When Yule-tides time we see,
trust o bravest of brave men,
That you'll remember me.
--BGzar.
"John," said Mr.. Stingys wife, 'I
wouldn't buy any more two dollar trou-
sers if L were YOU" "Why not2" "This
last pair you bought are the identical
ones sold the ragman six weeks ago for
fifty cents. "-Neo York San.
DIay-"What strong, noble face ~
Ethel-ssIt is indeed. The face of
Cousin George A finer fellow mover
faceda dreadful fate" May-"Gracious |!
Is he deadln Ethel-"Worse. He has
joined a football team. "--Pitts5urgh
Bulletin.
"Can get off for the rest of the day,
sir2" might ask why2n al am 60
ing to see my mother-in-law and wife of
to the station for 4 long visit" "oh, L
see, sort of a holiday You can 90
and enjoy yourself, certainly. "-Paila-
aslphia Press.
ho COuiu not atiOrJ paper
The price of it made him Sick
But one fine day there came his way
Two men who we're very slick"
And he paid them cool ton thousand
For worthless gided bricS
---Pttncsutcioney Spirit.
stThey are making car wheels of paper
now" remarked Mrs. Hojack as she
looked UP from the newspaper. .sYes,"
replied her husband, 'iand locomotives,
too" "You don't tell mc!'' Certain
~! Have you never heard of stationery
engines2" -Inter Ocean.
Kind Lady-"Tf you need clothing I
can supply you with an old suit of my
husbands, but they'll bo about four
sizes too big for you" Tramp-aNever
mind, mum; I'll wear 'em. I'd rather
be mistook for an anglomaniac than
froeze. "-New York. Weekly.
Dark hair, red cheeks, those vera the charms
And so he set about to make his fancy's pict-
ure real
And won widow who possessed the tint OF
his desire,
But quite transposed, her chee1s were dars,
her hair as red as fire.
. Chicago Post.
ga man paid So for barrel of apples.
lie sold them for $3.50, and the rest of
them decayed on his hands. How much
did no lose2" asked the teacher. ssHe
didn't lose nothin', !" bawled outa farm
er's boy in the class. He worked 'em
up into cider. - Chicago Tribune.
The Thoughtful Hostess: The guest
sat down, but rose hurriedly with an ex-
preston of alarm on his face. aI am
afraid, madam, he said, sthat have
sat down on the wrong chair" cts
only Tommys pigeon eggs, replied the
lady, pleasantly. Don't mind it, Mr..
Jones; he has plenty more of them
Chicago Tribune.