Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-03-23

thing right, however, by telling my
justly celebrated niger story. 1t was a
great hit with everybody except the man
who told it to me, and who spoke later
on-or thought he did. But what could
be do without his niger story?
81 got the story at cost of about
1915.
Dinner last night valued at...............S So 81
Two extra cigars brought home. .......... ~
Total OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. IS %
Balance ahead, s..
Nov. 12-Attended dinner given in
honor of another chump. l was invited
to be the life of the party. Did not sue
coed very well. Presiding officer very
coarsely intimated that my speech was
more fitting for some other decade. This
made me hot. No said l, 1T fits this
decade fairly WE'LL and threw him the
left lobe of a canvasback's bosom that
had suffered some from the tooth of
time. You say my speech is decayed.
So are your vic-uals" 1 then took an
ornamental tin wedding cake from the
center of the table and went home.
Speech, Observation-Disclosures. s. 90
Dlhher.-.. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 80 30
Bouquet ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. %
| Tin cake. Observation-Disclosures. 80
Out on whole thins................. / Is
Nov. 15-Just got home from large
| dinner, where | was expected to swap
| $ worth of bon hOmme for twenty cents
worth of cOns0nsme. am away ahead.
did not have to speak Other great
men obliged, and l was not called on. |
arranged that l should be included in
the list Of speakers as it will appear in
the morning in the papers and then
| came away stealthily, conveying my
dinner concealed in such a way as to
| elude observation. So far on this season
l am ahead.
Bon homme. observation-disclosures. so 90
Gonsomme' etc....................S s. 80
Two cigars extra. Observation-Disclosures. 80
Balance Observation-Disclosures. 90
Nov. 16-As j sit here disrobing be
fore | retire | viii write some more in
my diary. My mirror still tells me that
am strangely beautiful. Large. dark,
lustrOus eyes, regarding each other pleas
antly across the bridge of "A clear cut.
aquiline nose, and abundant eye winkers
of some changing shade fringe the
bright pink lids and anon kiss the mass
i've cheeks below Above, like the long
stretch of marble cemetery at Pere Ia
Chaise, slumber the tresses of my late
hair. Once it was flowing, but now it
is fled. Thus far shalt thou come and
no farther, saith the broad plaza of
bright and well Numbered scalp to the
soft ginger colored lambrequin of some
what segregated hair. And vet | am
popular and beloved. Tonight / sang a
song at dinner. L is not often 1 sing 4
song at table, bur l did this evening
Some one asked me to do so. l escaped
while they were searching the building
for this unknown man who asked me to
sing.
1t was one of the most disagreeable
contretempS l was ever at.
"A speech was made during the even
ing by man named Simpson, sometimes
called the Sockless Cicero of the I'm
broken Plains. He is plain man, with
an impeachment in his syntax and mutton
tallow on his boots. He spoke briefly,
lit the wrong end Of his cigar. seemed to
be thoroughly in earnest, and when the
loving cup came around to him he went
down into it like a hired man, rinsing
his bleached mustache, and coming up
joyously like a mallard duck with a
dank and dripping bill
He reminded me of barber l once
sat under, who sang rollicking song
ind accompanied himself on the atom
yer.
1T was delightful dinner, presided
over by Mr.. Wehav notwithstanding