The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-06-24
MY MAGAZINE FUND.


Four months before l was graduated
from Wellesley College, some years ago,
was troubled with the pcrplexing
problem of how to get very nice gradu-
ating dress at very low cost; for my
father, village merchant in Maine,
could ill afford to spend more money
than was absolutely necessary for my
regular expenses.
81 do wish l could think of some way
to earn the money for my dress" l said
one day to my inseparable friend, Madge
Bennett.
"Why don't you write stories for the
papersl" she asked, impulsively.
"What papersi" said l with surprise.
"Why, any papers-all papers-maga-
zines, quarterlies, literary syndicates-
anything or anybody" she answered,
springing to her idea in her usual enthu-
siastic way.
"But I've no talent for writing"
protested.
"Yes, dear, you must have" she
urged, effusively. "You don't know
how often I've stood enraptured to hear
you go on telling some yarn that knew"
(kissing me fervently; ''hadn't a word
Of truth in it. Oh, l know you could be
q great novelist. Think of being pointed
out by strangers on the street as the cele-
brated Milhcent Warner, of Warner S
Fallsl What rapturew
"But what could / write a story
about2" said l, ignoring her little refec-
tion on my veracity at times.
"Write love story. Everybody likes
them" she answered.
"But I've never had a love affair, and
l never can have" 1 added, mournfully,
'for there isn't man in my town that
I'd look at for lover, and you know
I've got to stay at home while the other
girls take their turn away at school. l
know it's predestinated that l shall be
an old maid, but don't like the out
look" said 1, telling literal truth for
snce at least.
"'Tisn't of the least consequence, "
Madge said, encouragingly. people
never need to know about the subjects
they write about. Why, all the books
about the management of children are
written by old maids; and do you sup
pose that the people who write about
Lord This and Lady That ever saw real
lord, even with an opera-glass?"
''I don't know" said l with simple.
ity.
"Why, of course not" she ratified on ;
''half the stories of travel and adventure
are made up by men who have never
been outside of Coney Island. Indeed f,
the less you really know about a subject
the better off you are, you see, because
you're not hampered by facts and your
Imagination can have full scope"
''I'm afraid l couldn't succeed that
way" 1 said, muslngly.
'Inieed you could, she still asserted.
'Last year my cousin, Joe Schuyler,
who always has lived in New York and
was Just graduated at Columbia-not
even a country college, like Harvard
took charge of the agricultural depart
ment of a city paper while the regular
editor went to Europe for three months,
and he got along finely. He just hunted
over the rural exchanges and re-wrote
their articles, using little different
wording, that was all"
"Didn't he make any blundersl"
asked.
''No, not in the paper" she said
"but he did get into bit of a scrape,
for farmer wrote him asking foI some
explicit directions for using a new
remedy for pip in chickens, and as Joe
is full of fun, he wrote the farmer 9
private letter sending him prescription
about like this:
Stumpus woodus regular size.
Hatchetus, one application.
Shake well before using.
This is an absolute and instantaneous cure
So the farmer drove OFF five miles tC
the nearest town, to the drug store,
where the clerk assured him he'd beer
trifed with and that it was all joke
That enraged the farmer and he took i
in to the county paper, which happened
TO be published in that town, and tn,
editor made the most of poor Joe's JOKE
and all the county stopped their sub
scriptions in consequence. But JOE
didn't care"
"Didn't the city bead-editor carel"
asked.
''Dear mel don't know. Joe didn'
tell me what he said But, Millicert, Dc
try. know you could write a swee
love story, or a yachting adventure.
"Why, l never was on yacht in m,
life, l demonstrated.
- l. Il