The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-12-23
SENSIBLE RULES.
Which Prove That Behind All Eli
quette There Lies Reason.

w lidb bOiSChoC thO AoA
quette are, anyway"
Il beg to differ with you, Noodles,
said that wise old boy, Bibbs, report
the Washington Star.
why sol"
because, my dear boy, your re
mark is made without thinking, like 6
few others of yours that l have hear d
at times"
Thanks"
Don't mention it. In this case l
think l can show you that you are
wrong. 1t is true that people gener-
ally imagine social etiquette to be a
mere matter of form without sense.
Yet you will find that behind every
one of the regulations and forjnalities
which control polite people there is a
good common sense reason. Just let
me mention to you an example or
two"
Have a cigar before you begin!
I'll thank you for one OF those
matches. Now fire away and I'll
listen with resignation"
well, consider so commonplace a
matter as the rule which declares it
ill-bred to eat with ones knife. There
is reason for that. We must eat in
order to live, but civilized persons de-
sire to subordinate a. far as possible
the appearance of satisfying a carnal
necessity in partaking of food. Saw
ages devour their viands as beasts do,
tearing them apart with their fingers.
Therefore we wish to give to u own
dinners as little as may be of the as
pect of gluttony. On this account we
consider it not we'll bred to take big
mouthfuls, and we are taught from
childhood to convey to our mouths
only Il morsel at a time. The morseal
must be small enough, too, to masti-
cate without rendering the chewing
of it conspicuous. Likewise all the
actions of refined persons at the table
are intended 20 avoid just such
symptoms of gluttonous eagerness as
are exhibited by the boor who eats
with his knife. His method is but
little removed from that of the bar
barian who thrusts u stick into the
pot and gobbles off the end of it the
hunk of provender which he pulls
out.n
Il confess I never thought OF that"
Follow the idea out and you will
discover that all the etiquette of the
table is based upon it. Good
iners at dinner are the best possible
expression of the refinement by which
we try to mark the difference be-
tween ourselves and the brutcs. Why
is it not good form to spread a napkin
over the chest? Simply because we
are not supposed to devour our food
so ravenously as to distribute it over
our persons. 1t is proper to hold the
napkin in the lap, for the reason that
the dropping of a morsel beyond the
edge of the tablecloth cannot always
be avoided, and also the piece of
linen is intended to wipe the fingers
upon. The various knives, forks,
spoons and glasses, beside the plates
must be used for the different pur-
poses intended, else the arrangements
which have been made so carefully to
make a dinner party run easily will
be interfered with. When you take a
lady in to dinner, you always give
her your right arm and lot your
left, because she will be seated at your
right, and in that way YOU find it
easiest to fall into your respective
places. Curiously enough, in pic
lures and on the stage men are al
most invariably represented as Offer
ing their left arms in such a case"
How about doffing the hat?"
"That is purely a conventional sign
of respect, but it mean something.
In ancient times, when men wore he'll
NETS or other covering to protect their
heads, it was customary for an in
ferior in the presence of his superior
to indicate obedience and submission
L. hic oaC~,n IL xuyac &C
much as to say Il am at your mercy
The idea survives in the rule which
obliges the gentleman to take off his
show to women in our gem
orally is intended to exhibit a gentle
consideration for their weakness. Be-
cause we are the stronger sex we make
it a rule to allow them the advantages
of precedence and otherwise which
belong naturally to the stronger.
thus one gives his seat to
a lady in a horse car, helps
her into her carriage and stands aside
while she enters or leaves a room first.
In going down stairs usually the
proper rule is that the nan shall
precede, as should be the case also in
getting out of a vehicle, in order that
he may be able to catch her in case
she should stumble. 1t is not expected
that she will fall, but by the exercise
of those petite soins' a gallant man is
distinguished. You will find that
among savages woman are made
slaves of and compelled TO do all the
work, but the civilized plan is just
the opposite"
That's rather interesting. But
what can you say about the etiquette
of clothes?"
The rules which govern dress in po-
lite society are based on reason also.
1t is a matter of course that there
should be a distinct style of costume
for occasions of festivity. To wear
silks and satins in the morning is con-
sidered vulgar, because they are not
appropriate to the hours when work
is to be done. Appropriateness is the
soul of good taste in dress. Whatever
in the way OF costume lacks fitness in
common sense for the occasion on
which it is worn is not good form. In
the evening, which is the time for
play, women adorn themselves as
much as possible and display as far
as is considered modest the beauty OF
their persons. unwilling their necks
and arms. A certain uniformity of
fashion is desirable at all times, since
there must always bea prevailing and
accepted standard of the beautiful,
and an oddly featbered bird in q