The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-06-26
WALES REPLIES TO sAxBY.
And Gives the True Inwardness Of the. BAD
carat Scandal.
MARLBOROUGH 'OusE.

MARLBOROUGH 'OUSE.
LONDON, G. D. D, June 8. 1891.
FRIEND SAxBY-Oh, say! BY. Joyel
Old chappiel Don't cher know! What's
hup? You're lawful ard on fellowl
l saw your heffusion in larst Sundays
Commercial Gazette. Sir Francis
Knollys, me private secretary, showed
me the clipping, and consider hit han
houtrage. If you were ere (which
thank 'eaven you hain't, I'd punch your
bloomink ed. An heditor ere would
be incarcerated in the Tower for daring
to rhymeroyalty. Your rhythm, me boy,
was lawful It's beastly funny that a
gent can't play cards at friends 'ouse
without Hamericans taking it hup. My
hancestors hall ''gambolled on the
green" yer know. But then you
don't, for what would you know about
my hancestors? By Jove! If Hi choose
to carry my hown counters haround
with me hits none of your bleeding bus
mess. Hi was raised in the lap of lux
ury and hits bloody ard if Hi carn't.
blow in few ''soos" without being him
terfered with by my future subjects.
The hold lady, THE Elixir" (me moth
er) won't die, so 'ow can Hi 'elp run
mink in debt? Hi hacknowledge Hi
ave got hinto a few scrapes. yer know,
but hit hasn't Railways been my forlt.
Every bloomnik woman in Heng-
land his stuck on my shOipe,
hand hif Hi carn't get decent grub
at 'ome because the grOcers won't trust
me, can you bloime me for haccepting
L. a.
Hi ave more to contend against than
you know, me boy. Hive got to do hall
the dirty work for THE Elixir" (me
mother) for nothink and pay me own
expenses. You carn't rob the bloody
Treasury in Hengland, yer know, like
yer can in Hamerica. No. by JOvei
know, old fellow, | married a DOine-
the Prince means Dane. - Ed. =
who admit a copper. Hif Hid ha
thought the old i6idy, ''The Elixir" lmo
motherl would nave larsted so bloom
ing long hid never got spliced hat hall.
Let me tell you'Ow | yan in debt first.
The Elixir (me motherD 'ad lawful
chill about ten years ago. and my pals
advised me to ave a crown ready. and
hi 'ad one made to horder. which as
proved me downfall. Hi was to pay
ESQ a week on the bloody trap. Hi
ave been paying it now for 52D weeks.
SOme.blOomink chump told Err Majesty
The Elixir about hit, and she rOived
like croizy woman, and swore she'd
live TO see me croak Just for spOite, yer
know. Bloody unmortherly. wasn't it?
When | couldn't pay the installments
any more, THE Elixir" (me mOther)
took the crown out of me trunk and
gave it TO the Duke of Fife-blarst him!
Hevery blessed penny me mother 1.-THE
Elixir gets she invests in a Scotch
snuff factory at Balmoral Beastly
queer notion, don't cher know. She
told Gladstone she was going to arden
he bloomink snuff and ave monument
hereof d hover John Browns tomb, be-
cause it would be as sheezy a way Of
getting rid of his memory has she knew
hof. Brown wanted to hadOpt me, don't
yer know. but hi wouldn't ave it. A
noice noime it would ave been-Albert
Edward Guelph Brown, by jove. ORR
bic. amt it
Terd yesterday that 1.-THE Elixir" tme
mOther) was engaged to be married
again. and, blow me heyes. | wouldn't
be surprised nither. She is an oily
terror. About the scandal. II there
his hany cheatink to do hat baccarat
h'I'll do hit meself. Cumming is cad.
He was dead CORN on Lady Brooke, and
hi wasn't goin' to ave it. BrOOksey as
Railways behoived as loidy. and hi
propose to do the soime. It's bloody
ard to ave to change me trousers six
tonnes day hon no income. You
carn't do it, yer know! l ave to get
hup hin the morning at 9, eat three
breakfasts before l0-partake OF eight
lunches between II and 2-thsn attend
six afternoon parties with the trim
mingsl: from ) to 10 ave to heat nine
dinners, go to cabinet supper. dance
at eleven balls, play cards. go 'Ome in
two carriages about , in the mOrnin',
all at me hown expense. while The
Elixir" (me mOther) keeps a boarding
'ouse in Scotland. Hi wish you'd ex-
ploin me condition to the Hamerican
public Hi hain't bad fellow at art,
but I'll never get show till The
Elixir" me motherl hexpires. Now, |
soy, hold fellow, let hup hon me-wOn't
yer, and 'elp fellow bout hof ha ole.
Matricidishly yours, WALES.