Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-02-14
THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT.



ocstare is bsyi.niag.
An overheated Mstron (to her husbandl-
Well. they don't give you much room in ere
must say. Still. we done better than I ex-
peeted. after all that crushing. thought my
RIBS Was gone once. but il on'y the un-
breiias fon pretty comfortable where you
are. Oh. father?
fathor-oh. TIN right enough. am.
Jimmy their son. n small boy. with pipins
voice)-n father Is. it's more nor What am
can't see. mother. can't,
His Mother-Lor' bless the boy, there nirt
nothen 20 see vet. you'n see well enough when
the curting goes up. Curtain rise on open
ing scene Look. Jimmy, amt that nice,
fire comm out Of the pot-which I 'ope its
quite safe-and there's beautiful fairy iust
come on, dressed 80 grand. too,
JIMMY can't Zee no fairy-nor yet no
himps-no nothen. (he whimpers.l
His Mother (annoyed) Was there ever such
n aggravating boy 90 take auywhercs, Set
quiet do, and don't hdget, and look at the
hactin'i
mother. Ii amt my fault-it's this lady in
front o me with the at.
Mother Nperceiying the Justice Of his com
plants Father the pore boy ssys he can't 500
where he Is, cause Of a lady's at in front
Father-well. I can't clip the at can L. he
must put up with il. that's all
Mother-No-but thought, il Won wouldns
mind changing places with him-yon re taller
than him, and it wouldn't be in your way arr
much.
father-ns always the way with you-neves
satisfied. you amt Well pass the bow across
m for quiet life, 1 am. Changing seAts.D
Will this do for you2
He settles down immediately behind a yer,
large and furry and feathery hat. which lac
lodges for some time. with the result OF OBJ.
tanning an occasional glimpse Of pair Of legs
on the STAGE
Father (suddenlyl D the at
Mother-You can't wonder at the how no,
seeing Praps the lady wouldn't mind taking
il on, you asked her.
father-Ah! lie touches The Owner of the
Hat on the shoulder Excuse me. mum. bus
remove your 'atg
Che Owner Of the Hat deigns no replyO
Father (more insistently Would You ave
any objection to oblige me by taking on your
at, mumr tSame result don't know ii YOU
card me, mum. but I've asked YOU twice. civil
enough, 20 take that at Of yours Of inns a
playing at 'hide-snd-seek behind it ere! NO
answer
The MOther-People didn't ought to be
allowed In the pit with sech ats, Calm 'er-
sell 4 lady-and rettin' there in great at and
feathers like ighlanders and never answer
ing no more nor a stuffed himage,
Father Ito the Husband of The Owner Of the
mar hat..M1 you tell your good lady to take
The Owner OF the Hat Ito her husband)--
Don't you do nothing Of the sort. sam. or you
will ear Of it,
The Mother-sOme people are perlite. 1
must say. Parties might beyaye a. ladita when
they come into the pit Its pity her 'usbAnd
can teach her better mannersl
The father-Im teach herr Il knows bet
ter: 4 . got Tartar there. e as,
The Owner Of the Hat-Sam. are Won going
to set by and hear me insulteG lac thru
her Husband turning round tremuiously)--
IIu trouble you 10 drop making these per
sonal illusions 90 my wifes at SIR Its
pufhckly impossible 20 listen 20 what's going
on on the stage with all these remarks he ind
The father-Not more nor II is 20 see what's
going on on the stage with that at in front 4
paid arf-a-crown TO see the pantermlme, I did,
not to ave a view OF YOUR wifes at,.... Ere,
Maria blOwed il can stand this ere game sny
longer. Jimmy must change places again. and
that's ALL
(Jimmy is transferred to his original place
and mounts upon the seat
A Pittite behind Jimmy (touching up Jimmv's
father with an umbrella VIII you tell your
little boy 70 set down, please, and not block the
view like this?
Jimmy's father-If you can indooce that lady
IN front to take on her at will--but not be-
fore. Stay where you are, Jimmy. my boy.
The Pittite behind-Well. 1 must stand nv
self, then, that's all mean to zee, somehow
he rises.)
People behind him Csternly)-set down
there, will you? (He Resumes his seat. ex-
postulating.)
Jimmy-Father, the gentleman behind is .
pinching of my leg.
Jimmys father-will you stop pinching my
little boys legs! He amt doing you no arm
The Pinching Pittite-Let him sit down,
then,
Jimmy's Father-Let the lady take her ct
off,
Murmurs behind-order, there, Set down.
Put that boy down, Take orr that at, Silence
in front, there! Turn EN- OUT Shame! &C.,
&c.
The Husband Of the o. of the H. Cin a whisper
TO his Wifel-Take Of the blessed at, and have
done with it, do,
The %. of the H.-what-now? I'd sooner
die IN the at, Gan Attendant is called.)
The Attendant-0rder. there. gentlemen,
piease-unless You want 10 get turned out No
standing allowed on the seats-youre disturb
ing the performance ere, you know.
lJimmy ID make TO sit down. and weeps
silently; the hubbub gradually subsides-and
The Owner Of the Hat triurnphs-for the mo-
ment.)
Jimmy's Mother-Never mind. NV. bow. Won
shall have mothers seat in a minute I dessav,
II all Was known, the lady 'as reasons for keep
ing her at on. pore thing,
The Father-Ah, l never thought o. that. So
she may. Very likely her at won't come of
not without her air
The Mother-Ah, well, we mustn't be ard on
her, If that's 80.
The o. of the ii. (removing the obstruc-
toni 'ope you're satisfied now. I'm sureY
The Father Observation-Disclosures late nor
never, mum, and take il kind Of you.
Though, why you shouldn't ha' done ID at fust
dunno; Tor yoa look deal 'ansomer without
the at than what you did in it-dont she
Maria?
The o. OF the II. (mollifed) Sam, ask the
gentleman behind if his boy would like a GIN
ger-nut.
~. IA.
pass: cordially is restored. and the pantomims
proceeds without further Disturbance