The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1891-01-02

charge it up to profit and less. He
Immediately proceeded to do so. The
overcoat which l ordered was more ex-
pensive by five dollars than had ex-
pected, and possibly about nine other of
Shearsby's customers suffered similar
amount of indirect taxation.
As time passed, gained more and
more Of Mr.. Kerth's confidence. /
knew just enough about his past per-
tormances to make him think that my
silence was a useful commodity, and he
sought to purchase it with frankness.
He was, however, 10th to betray his
secret all at once, but prepared me be-
forehand by various significant hints
to appreciate better its mysterious ma
ture.
One evening, when he was smoking
one of my cigars before my fire, he said:
Il am getting very hard up: l must
raise some money"
said: "How will you do it?'
81 have method of my own" he an
swered, (which l apply whenever l am
in need of ready cash"
What is it like?"
He smiled with the smile of sphinx.
as he replied:
Il call it system Of absence"
On several occasions he made use of
phraseology similar to the above. For
example, once he said to me: 81 get a
good enough living out of not being in
certain places at certain times
Further, he would not explain.
About this time his creditors, of
whom the crop seemed to be perennial,
began to press him close, and it was
| evident that unless the ready cash
should presently come to his rescue, he
was lost-that is, lost in the same way
that he had been lost many times isfore.
In the nick of time the money came.
hoewver, and he proceeded, with the skill
of a practical debtor, to make small
stream of cash irrigate a vast area of cred
it This being accomplished, he was at
ease again; and one night, over bottle
of wine and cigars, he told me how he
had raised the money.
at wasn't much" he said, carelessly
five or six hundred. / manage to
raise that sum about four times year.
If you understand how to make it 60
good as twice that you know. Now.
I'll tell you. | have, back East, num-
Der of relatives-rich, respected and all
that Money comes from them. Easy
enough, you think? Well, l wonder. /
am the black sheep of the outfit-scape-
grace, you know. And do you imagine
they would ever give up bean for me,
if did not come at 'em with something
worse than agun? Why, sir. the whole
bloody layout is so mean, and they hate
me so. that, / give you my word, if |
was roasting in the lowest depths of
Sheol, there isn't one of 'em would loan
you a fork to go and see il was done
No sir! That's the Kind of citizens they
are. But notice they come up pretty
regular just the same
He flicked the ashes from his high
priced cigar into the Fireplace with an
impressive gesture Then from his desk
he produced several letters and large
book labeled journal"
Here It is" he exclaimed, throwing
the book down on the table in front of
me; Richard Kerth's Ready Letter
Writer, or the Art of Holding Up Our
Relations And here are sample re.
turns" he added, dropping the letters
on the table. But you had better be-
gin at my end of the transaction Read
in the book first the last batch of let
tiers copied there. / always copy 'em
so as to keep track of what I'm doing"
l opened the volume at the place
where he indicated, and began to read
aloud: Hiram Griffin, Cleveland, o.
My Dear Uncle"
"My mothers only brother" interpo-
lated the capegrace-"Presbyt
elder-hardware merchant-moral cit
izen."
read on:
~ suppose you will be devilish glad to learn
that have at last decided 10 turn my face
hCmeward I'm tired of wandering, and it's
mighty poor picking on; here. expect TO start
in a couple Of weeks, unless hear from you in
the meantime 4 lot Of California stock will
be entered at the fall meeting at Cleveland.
and think l can fix for both OF us TO get let in
on the ground floor. so that we can make good
thing out of it. How are Bill and jimmy"
William and James," said the black
sheep, rolling up his eyes; his sons
whom he is bringing up in the way they
should go-pious youths of sixteen or
thereabouts.
"T expect they would enjoy the races and
some Of life that could show them. ! plan TO
spend month in Cleveland, and perhaps may
locate there. Some of the fellows are making
up party TO go to China. If had a couple Of
hundred more I would go with them. but have
only just enough to take me home. Your aifec-
tionate nephew, RICHARD"
Gold chills ran down his back when
he read that letter." said Mr.. Kerth.
Here is his reply. He prays for the
salvation of my soul, and incloses
check for two hundred. See? Read
the next one"
1t was addressed to as. Van Doosan
Kerth, The Beauchamp. NewYork City,"
and began: Dear Uncle"
Fathers brother" the scapegracs
explained; odd bachelor-great swell.
He never saw me, and has an idea that
am very wild and woolly, like every
thing west of the Croton aqueduct"
/ read as follows:
DEAR UNCLE-Respected brother Of my
parent; take my pen in hand TO let you know
that two weeks from date shall take the tfain
for your city, and shall visit you al the Beau
champ House, where you are staying. II you
should happen to be out Of town will wait
until you get back for mean TO live in your
city hereafter; hope TO get Job there. 1
know you will help me, as ycur brothers son,
TO get job. Perhaps Mr.. Beauchamp would
like man TO carry trunks. know you will be
glad to see me. If could get into the grocery
business here would stay, and man know
of will take me in for two hundred dollars.
Please look for me at the depot in the emigrant-
cars. Your nephew, RICHARD"
Imagine Uncle Van Doosan reading
that epistle at his club" said the scape-