The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-09-17

CgN 1S moment and then
bluntly says:
al expected til Finally got fat down,
ehn
ats nothing" shefaintly replies.
"Ohi il isn't Nothing for wife to flop
down and upset the whole house, l suppose
Well, I've been looking for it for the last
three months, and so I'm not much sur
prised. Mrs. Bowser, it is a wonder to me
that you or any other woman in New York
Is out of your coffin"
ats only-only headache, dear"
"Yes; only headache; but what do
headaches lead to? If you are not dead
woman before Saturday night you may con-
slider yourself lucky. Didn't warn you
not to sit in draught-not to wear thin
shoes-not to eat too much iu warm wealth
er! Little good it does to talk TO wo-
mani"
"You can't help ailing occasionally" she
replied, as she got up to wet the bandage
around her head.
Mrs. Bowser, look at mel" he said, as
he struck an attitude and held one hand
aloft.
''wHES AM / EVER AILINGt
; When do you hear me complain? Never
And why is it7 Because, Mrs. Bowser-
because / don't cram my stomach with
watermelon, buttermilk, gumdrops, Gus
tard pie, sweet cake, ginger ale and all
that! Because don't go around with my
feet sopping wet Because l know enough
to come in when it rains. Because exer-
else little common sense in taking care Of
myselfl''
"Your dinner is ready
"And l am ready for dinner. healthy,
happy person is always ready for his meals.
You won't try to get up, 1 suppose9"
"Not now"
"Well, you have only yourself to blame.
You may learn it time. but L doubt it, I'd
like to find one woman with about two
ounces Of horse sense in her head before
die, but / don't expect to do it. Well, il
can't be helped, suppose. The Lord made
you that way, and it's no use to argue"
Mir. Bowser eats his dinner, smokes his
cigar and sings and whistles as if the slight
est noise didn't go through her aching head
like bullet. 1t never occurs to him to fan
her, wet the bandage or ask if she CAN'T sip
cup of tea. 1t does occur to him, however,
TO say about bedtime:
''rm sorry, of course, but then you mus,
have more sense. FL go up to bed, and you
can come when you get ready. If you are
going to kick around much, you'd better
sleep in the spare room"
Mr.. BowsER's TURN.
Now and then the tables are turned. Mr.
Bowser comes home to lunch, dragging hi:
legs after him and looking pale and very
scared.
whats the matterl" asks Mrs. BowseI
as soon as he steps into the house.
''Got sore throat and feel feverish. L
/ think I'm going to be sick.'
She doesn't call out that it's just as she
expected, and declare that no husband il
New York has sense enough to look out fo
his health. She knows he was out in {
drought in his shirt sleeves, but she doesn
even mention it. On the contrary, she re
marks:
TRY and eat little something and ther
lie down. You had better gargle you
throat and then tie it up"
DO you-you think it's anything seri
ouslh he whispers as he grows paler.
81 hope not, but it's best to be on the SAT-
side. You are subject to quinsy you know
and spinal meningitis begins just this way.
~ believe I'm going to de-" gasps Mr.
Bowser, and ne grows so weak that she ha
to take off his coat and vest and get him Of
the lounge. Everything about the house i
ordered to go on tip-toe, and even the cat i
put out and the clock stopped. After hi
throat has been tied up, his shoes taken OF
and quilt thrown over him, Mr.. Bowse
olantively inquiries:
Don't you think you'd better send for
doctorr'
''Not just yet, dear. / don't think it
very serious"
Mrs. Bowser, 1 believe I'm alresd
struck with DEATH
Nonsense! You've just got q little in
fiammation of the tonsils."
1--WE felt for some days as if great ca
lamity hung over this household. Hadn'
we better have two doctorssf
Just try and get to sleep, Mr.. Bowsel
and I'll warrant you'll feel better b
nisht.n
"Ah! how suffer- he groans "Yo
nav be widow before the week is out.
hope you will always be kind to our chilt
rHAvE TRIED TO BE GOOD HUSBAND,
snd-and-"
Mrs. Bowser lays her hand on his fore
head and the tears come to his eyes and
suddenly becomes great big BOBBY. Sh
has to hold his hand TO get him to sleep, an
when he wakes up he wants tea and tos'
and iell, and he is as petulant as sick bah
until finally put to bed. He is a new ma
when he awakes in the morning, and whe
she askes after his throat he replies;
seThroat-humphl Mrs. Bowser, IL
about five hours yesterday / was hoverin
between life and death. Had it been 70
YOU would have died ten times over, br
grit pulled me through
'tGritp'
Eyes. nd-pluck-Spsrtan coul
age and fortitude. l let none of you kno
how bad actually was, but shut my teet
and determined to live, and here is the r,
sult of it. All Mrs. Bowser, il you onl
had hundredth part of my courage an
will-power you'd be q far different woms
from what you are nova far differel
woman"