The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-01-16
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The LATEST boy in school is always
closest to the head of the procession
when the circus is in town.-Bingham-
ton Leader.
-Careful-''Come out and take
walk" mo, the sky is gray, and gray
is not becoming to me. "--Fliegende
Batter.
But why do you want to marry
her?" because l love herr MY
dear fellow, that's an excuse-not a
reason. saturday Evening Post
First Literary Observation-Disclosures
been stealing my ideas" Second Lit
erary Character-"That's all right, l
couldn't sell them. THE Epoch.
An Ideal Wife-Dear child, the din
ner to-day is absolutely UNBEATABLE"
well, surely. Charles, you did not
marry me for the cake of eating."-
Fliegende Batter.
He that putteth money in his purse
is liable to be robbed, but he that en-
richeth his mind putteth wealth where
the sandbagger can not come at it
Rams Horn.
-"Why do they call the boys in the
galleries the gods, Mr.. Tragedic2s?"
ITO distinguish them from the devils
who sit in the orchestra chairs and write
criticisms. Boston Courier.
! The man who 'never can find time"
to do any thing you ask of him may
generally be seen looking out at the
window when there is a brass band going
through the street-Somerville Jour-
nal.
What pretty girl Jimson's type
writer must be, 81 unused Watts. 81 never
saw such an outrageous lot of misspelled
words in business letter before in all
my days. "-Indianapolis Journal.
-Dicl-"WhY couldn't Harry 60 to
the theater with US tonight" Tom
''He couldn't possibly come; had to
write the criticisms of the plays for
to-morrows Crimson, and have them in
by eight o'clock. Harvard Lampoon.
-"Aint they rather strange names
for dogs?" Not at all. I've named
them for their literary suggestiveness.
| call one Edwin brood because his tail
is cut off short, and the other Howells. ="
philadelphia Times.
The newspapers are forever speak
ing of 1.-The blushing bride" Well,
when you reflect upon the kind OF hus-
band not few of the brides marry, you
can not wonder that they should blush.
Boston Transcript.
"A Small Matter. Mrs. Forundrid-
Horrors, Half dozen words in your
note to Mrs. Society are misspelled. y
Miss Forundrid-"O that don't matter.
She can see by the coat ofarms on our
stationery that we're all right. TN Y.
Weekly.
Mrs Kawler-"Your husbands ser
mon was beautiful and eloquent down
to certain point, this morning, but
after that it seemed to lose all it's fire
and earnestness, and was dull and pro
safe" Mrs. X. Horter-"Yes, that's
where he dipped his pen into the mucil
age bottle. Boston Traveller.
Young Clergyman-"We shouldn't
prepare sermons" Old Ditto-"WhJ
not?" Young Clergyman-''The Bible
: says that the Lord will put words intC
t our mouths" Old Ditto-'T guess yol
: are right. And if the Lord doesn't pu
J, the words in our mouths some brigh
f reporter will. IN. Y. Herald.
His Last Request Tramp -
- MADAM, you will remember that yes
+ terday when called upon you | had
t small vial of arsenic concealed and tina
Il you coaxed the poison away from m
and gave mo large hunk of your pie?
k Kind Lady, remember very we'll
l. and now I suppose you want anothe
d piece of pie?" Tramp-"No, don't;
t want the arsenic. IN. Y. Sun.
It "A Lady's Opinion. - Only Son.
"Mamma, what does good traits mean?'
n Fond Mamma-"Good traits? Is that ex
e preston in the new book gave you?
d Nom. Mrs. De Fashion used it whe
# she was talkin' about me to Mrs. ID
r STYLE" Did she? Mrs. De Fashion
lady, every inch of her. Did she sa
= you were full of good traits" Nom
d She said l hadn't any."-Good News.