The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1891-05-21
MISCELLANEOUS.

|
"A young man always remembers
the first girl he ever loved, but II he Is
wise he doesn't tell his wife about hor.
Somervillc Journal.
Many persons admire the bouquet
OF line wines, but almost any kind OF
liquor will make nose gay If you use
enough Of it.-Boston Herald.
- Yes, but how do you know that
Blufkins is a married man?" 30, I am
sure OF It. just see how happy he is
when away from home. !" Boston Tran
script. &
1T is a noticeable fact that the man
whose will-power is such that he can
stop bad habit at any time he NAV
see 1T, is the same fellow who never
sees fit. -Peck's Sun.
distinction and Difference. Null
lady-'''Phwat's O'Rourke dom fer the
city now?" McCann-''Part av the time
he bosses, an whin he don't boss he
worruks. "-Brooklyn Eagle.
:, Had None to Give Away.-Quester-
1T doesn't appear to me that Mr.. Dunn
ley is a liberal minded man. Do you
think he is?" Jester-".Bless you, no.
He can't afford to be. '-Boston Courier.
81 mastered French in six lessons, -
said the liar: eyes, suppose SO, said
the cynic. II noticed you never allowed
the language to have it's own way when
you tried to talk it."-St. Joseph News
A great compliment Wife
Mother, Harry paid me the greatest
of compliments to-day" Mother
''What was it, daughter?'' Young Wife
-"He said Twas as good cook as his
mother. Yankee Blade.
-Astronomy.-First Farmcr-''Say,
that's my mule! recognize him by the
marks on him. Right on his forehead,
there, see a STAR Second Farmer -
you'll see plenty more if you don't
leave that mule alone. Chicago Satur-
day.
An Expert in Clover Leaves.--Jewel-
er-''Miss, those clover leaves are as
natural rs life. The price is only 81.
Isn't it astonishing how cheaply such
beautiful things can be produced?'
Miss Garrotty (of Podunk) - "Cheap
nothin'! All a Teller hez ter dew is sow
the seed an let her grow" - jewelers.
Weekly. 5.
The most disguised man in Bolton,
Texas, owns a mule which lately made
a meal by devouring an envelope that
contained $225 in greenbacks The ami
NAL looked none the worse after digest
ing that amount of uncooked cash, but
his owners face was ''sicklied DER with
the pale cast of thought
"A basket of eggs stood on the floor
OF house at Ballyglass, County Mayo.
A storm was raging, and the lightning
struck the house. The eggs were ap-
parently uninjured; when, however,
they were placed in hot water, the
shells crumbled and fell off, leaving
the inner membrane unbrolxen.
He was a Bath, Me-, hackman, 50
the Enterprise says, and he had Ca
madam quarter, worth only twenty
cents in Bath, that he wanted to dis
pose of. So one dark night, when an
old lady handed him half dollar he
gave her the Canadian quarter in
change, and, instead of feeling ashamed
of himself chuckled over the transaction
that is, he chuckled until he pulled
out the coin the lady had given him and
by the light of q lamp discovered that it
was Canadian half dollar.
Two men were talking of the aver
age width of chest of men of different
nationalities, when one of them, an
Irishman, told this story: "a few years
age two regiments of the British army
were lined up, the one in front of the
other. There " ere a thousand English
men of the Royal Guard in one line,
and thousand Irishmen of the Con-
naught Rangers in the other The lines
began at the same place, but the line of
Irishmen stretched thirty-six feet
further than the other. It was caused
by the difference in width Of chest, for
the men in both regiments touched
elbows
"A student of human nature has
evolved a utilitarian article, intended
to assist woman in purchasing her
tickets at the elevated railroad stations
and ferries without keeping long line
of men waiting until she ransacks sew
eral pockets, and pulls two or three
yards of samples out of her pccketbook.
1t is called the purse-glovc. This is a
glove with a little purse or compart-
ment in the palm for change and small
tickets. She can't lose it unless she
takes off her glove, and, therefore,
doesn't need to tumble in her pockets
or spend any time in guessing where it
is.-N. Y. Sun.
Since the opening of the elevated
roads in New York City the engines
have been increasing in weight. The
new class, ''K," with 13 Is inch cylin-
ders, weighs $4,000 pounds, total, with
$1,000 on drivers and $500 on the
truck. The new motors for the Sub
urban Rapid Transit weigh $4,000
pounds, with Al 1000 pounds on the driv-
ers, and 1000 on each leading and trail
ing truck. The new engines for the
Kings County will WEIGH $4,000, with
1000 pounds on the drivers The early
four-wheel, tank engines used for a
long time, some of which are still run
ming, weighed but $4,000 pounds, of
which 10, 900 was on the drivers.-Rail-