The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1891-11-13
WOMEN'S MISTAKES.
How and Why They Make Them
The Study of Mankind.


The most interesting study of wo'
mankind is man; it ever has been,
ever will and ever should be so
Above all other ambitions is woman's
desire to please man. Whatever else
she achieves, she is dissatisfied witt
herself if she has not done that
Whatever else she has not achieved
she is in a great measure self-satisfieo
if she is popular with the stern sex
The woman who is forever antagoniz
ing men, who regards them as our
natural enemies, to be scolded and
found fault with, is quite as obnox.
ious to her own sex as to mankind.
We all pity or dislike her, and won
der what she expects to accomplish by
such a course of conduct; yet many OF
us, who deserve to be appreciated, ad.
mired and respected by King Man,
are making quite AS great mistakes in
one way or another in our association
with men as this belligerent manhater
makes in another.
One type of oma who makes a
great mistake with men is she who
talks too much about oppressed
woman" and ''tyrant man." while
others of us talk too much about
queen woman" and slave man."
writes Ella Wilcox in the Ladies'
Home Journal. Men like to call
woman a queen, and declare them
selves her her slaves; but they are not
fond of hearing too much about these
relative positions of the sexes from
her.
The woman who incites attention,
or who, by some Unborn subtle charm,
commands the regard of men is one
being; and the woman who demands
it as her right is another, The young
lady VINO is forever dropping her fan.
gloves, parcels and handkerchief for
the pleasure of seeing her escort pick
them up, thereby proving he
is her slave, leases to be queen in the
eyes of the young man ere long.
The young woman who invents all
sorts of laborious tasks to test her
lovers devotion, makes a mistake,
and learns it often to her sorrow, as
did the fair lady of old who demanded
the flower from the brink of the prec-
ipice, and received it together with
her disillusioned lovers farewell.
SO much has been said regarding
the charm of a vivacious name that
many young women attempt to APP
pear animated without any feeling
of. or cause for animation. Nothing
is more disastrous than a forced gay
ETY. of manner; and many q man is
led to wonder uncomfortably if his
tie is ~disarranged, or his collar
crooked, when he finds his most COM
monplace remarks met with a sense
less and perpetual laugh, while the
mistaken young lady who seems to
be on the verge of hysteria, imagines
herself bright and animated. AniIna-
ton must come from within, not from
without; it cannot be assumed at will
and should never be attempted. 1t is
a mistaken idea to suppose that a
quiet gravity of manner, or a serious
conversation is uninteresting to men;
or, that to keep them entertained it is
necessary to wear a perpetual smile.
remember once reading an absurd
article, written, | think, by Mortimer
Thompson, whose pen name was
"Doesticks.n 1t described the efforts
of a wife to please a rather fault find
ing husband. Having read that a wife
SIlOulu always EIt0U HCI AuSOtId Will
a smile, she assumed one as her hus-
bands step was heard in the hall and
turned her beaming face upon him.
His greeting, after a wondering glance
at her face, was:-"Well, old woman,
what are you grinnipg att" / often
think of this query when | see the
forced efforts at gayety made by some
young women in society. Men never
lilyA ,rINo,nuN on ovnjaal unnnn. hnt n
quiet repose of n pleases them
quite as much as a strained effect of
vivacity.
No greater mistake can be made
with men than for a oma to boast
of her success in winning hearts aud
proposals. 1t seems impossible that a
woman possessed of one ray of COM
mon sense, or a particle of breeding,
could do such a thing; yet it isnot I'M
usual to hear a young lady relating
her conquests to a group OF admirers
and laughing over the susceptibilities
of mankind. Though they may laugh
with her they are sure to laugh about
her among themselves when her back
is turned. 1t is a mistake for a woman
to ever be led into lowering her ideals
because some man she loves and adj
mires urges her to step down. He in
variably curses her if she goes, while
if she turns and pauses above him,
she hears his benediction and eight
times out of ten he follows her. IL is
always a mistake for a young lady to
talk TO a man as if she were blase and
widely experienced in all human emo
tions, frailties and faults. Many in
nocent and inexperienced young girls
adopt this manner, thinking it will
render them fascinating in the eyes of
men. Men are not analytic OF deep
minded enough in regard to our sex
to realize that a girl who has drunk
too deeply of the waters of knowledge
does not talk of it. Men take us for
what we SEEM, not for what we are.
The most hardened mondaine, who
wears a mask of frank innocence, fares
better with them than the good, sweet
hearted girl who puts on blase airs
and pretends to be q little wicked.
Men judge by appearances more than
women do, and, %exceptin cases where
women are rivals, they are less liable
to condemn one another for a slight
lapse of speech or conduct, than men
are to condemn us. 1t is also one of
the mistakes which women sometimes
make, to ask any favor of a gentleman
which will incur the least expense for
him. No matter how pressing are the
circumstances, she should never take
the liberty unless he is u near rela-
tive.