davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
On HIS Mind.

Pat was a hod-carrier. Long practice had
made him snexpert al threading the mazes
of unfinished buildings, but it had also made
him somewhat careless IN his movements.
He had iuststepped from a ladder TO one of
the landings, and after setting down his load
of bricks with q sign of relief be Strengthened
~, Whackl his head came smartly in con
tact with n heavy beam. II
When the foreman passed a few minutes
after, he saw Pat sitting on a keg holding
his head in both hanus.
Hello, Pat" he called, whats on your
mind ~
TIL whole top ay my head, sir. oh my!
On my"
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
The fired Girl.

II suppose you have an easy time of it now
that you've got a servant girl. What time
do YOU get up lin the morning!" at :
o'clock And what time does your girl get
up" AT 1:I3 o'clock" "Gracious. And
why 40 you get up before she does" ITO
call her. '
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
Too Suggestive.

Pittsburg Chronicle; Dukane: | sup
pose you've noticed the fad tho women have
OF putting snakes on their clothes!
Gaswell: Yes.
Embroidered snakes. and gilt snakes, and
all SORTS OF snakes, used in al! sorts of
ways
Yes" ~.
We'll | don't admire the style"
Neither do L. They are del irium trim
mings.n
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
Expecting 100 Niucb.

doctor, hcw shall l take the pill?" ats
the easiest thing i'll the world. Place 1t on
your tongue and take a drink of water"
water can'tdo that. Pm a prohibition
list. | never tasted water in my life.n
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
Dir. Birney cures catarrh.


An enterprising London woman has dis
covered a new method of earning money
pleasantly. just before the close of the sea-
son she advertised to take care of valuable
plants and palms while their owners were
out of town, and secured n sufficient number
to hire an assistant and clear consiGe cab!e
profit.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
a. d Cnnsr fnr Nnmnlnint.

hard winter SOM years ago from these'signs
and my ncighbors ridIculcd me, or tried to,
but we got IL gust as | said.n
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
Five Hundre ed million Dollars

viii be spent at the Worlds fair" Now is
the time to secure a hotel, boarding house or
other business TO make a fortune. Address
James Pearce X Co., Traders bldg, Chicago.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
AT the Tulnp one.
kGuaIIC raptrnl ~

AZ the ItlE y 'Onc.
Puck: "Hello, Centralrn
81 want a thousand"
II know lots of people in your fix"
Il say | want a thousand"
$50 do l."
Don't get impudent. miss"
Don't let that keep you awake nights"
81 want to know if your going to give me a
thousandHf ..
''What for?n
because | want it."
well, if you get it before l do, ring me
up"
Are you going to give me a thousandl'
"Wouldn't a hundred do!"
mo. | want a thousand or nothing.n
well, don't bother me if you do; I'm no
savings bank"
"Will you or will you not give me what |
ask for"
'If | were a man I'd hunt you up and give
you something you didn't ask for.n
You are either insane or trying to be
funny"
II think the shoe is on the other foot"
II shall ask you once more-wIll you
give me No. lO0J-Brown, Jones n Robin
son -
sob. you want the telephone number
one, three naughtss Why didn't you say so
before?n
'Blank-blank- blankety- blank a telephone,
anyhow
Mir. Meddcrgra's Insrructs a { ollcGian
"Hello, Hayseed ~ called out a rude young
freshman to Farmer Meddergrass.
young man., y replied the farmer, you at
tend that college on the hill there, don't
youNn
YES"
"Theu let me tell you something that is not
there; 1t is unpardonably incorrect to speak
of hayseed. That is something which does
not exist. Hay is dried grass and the proper
term is grass seed; Just remember that
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
A Threnody on IA William Goat.

f.. r. SMITH in 'Ork.
Only a goat, a William goat,
With long goatee and shaggy coat,
Slowly gathering his frugal meal
Mid old tin can and scraps of steel.
Only a train, a fast mail train,
Spurning the earth with wild disdain,
Tearing the air in tatters aim,
Filling the car with horriG din.
Only a pile, a pile of SCRAP"
Now left to mark this sad mishap.
Only IA goat, scattered and torn,
With here a hoof and there a horn.
Only a stone, in his behalf,
Ana on 1t placed this epitaph,
Here William lies, his troubles DER,
Ga dynamite he'll dine no more.'
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
Tho GLnglrtY GIrl.

The GIgglety GIrl.
UudIH.
Oh, the %gigglety girl
Gee whI2l
From her toe to her curl
WHAT a bottle" she is!
For whatever you do and whatever you say,
She is laughing away through the whole of
the day,
And sometimes her noisy, unwearying zeal
viii make a man feel
So ALFRED
Excessively tired
That far into space he'd be willing to hurl
The g~igglety, gigglety, gigg!cty girl.
Oh, the gigglety girl
Great Scott!
What a scurry and whirl
She can bring to the spoil
And vet, when her light-heartcd freedom
from care
Kind of gets in the air well, you can't be a
bear
And you feel that your blood wouldn't stand
it to see
A man who could be
SO downright
Ill-bred as to slight
Or in any way hurt, with the mood of a churl,
9his gigglety, gigglety, elggiety girl.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27
SOLACE FOR THE CHERRIES,
Ard Toothscmo Quirps for the Merry
Majority.
SOLEMN TALES CLsvEsLY UNFURLED.
lamentations, Cogitations and Dis
CREATIONS on the Foiblcs of
Mankind, in Prose and
Rhyme.


Life: ~ thought you were on your way
out west}''
$50 | was, Willie, so | was; but got left.
This is the way it happened You see, saw
an open freight car attached to a special.
waiting in the yard, and in | gifts. You Just
ought to have seen what was in that car.
Champagne by the dozen bias kets, WHISTLES,
brandies and every kind of stuff yod could
think of. We'll, they locked the car with me
inside, ahd | says to meself, says |, Peter,
you are in it this time, sure, but-excuse
these tears-they hadn't pulled outside the
city limits before a Teller comes in to git
some Of the goods, and of course got onto mo
in a minute and tired mo. Willie, / had got
on to q special of a United States senate com
mittee going to IL funeral.n -
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27

DR.. Cullimore, o%cullst, Bee building.
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27

and give him battle In the Wilderness, says
NJ Quad in tho New York World. Darkness
was Just settling down, aud the advance had
Just halted for the night, when a squad OF
cavalry brought 10 n young man from tho
front. He wore n mixed uniform, as did
most Of the coufederates at that day, or as
did most Of those belonging to the partisan
commands. He had on his blue trousers, a
butternut jacket, and his hat belonged to
neither side. They said he was a spy. They
said IL carelessly enough, but there was an
awful significance in the term ut that hour.
In camp he would have been searched, in
te]rrOgatcd, and Imprisoned. 1t might have
been weeks before his trial, and he would
have been allowed every chance for his life.
We were on the march. There had been
fighting. There would bc more tomorrow.
That meant a drum-head trial for the spy.
How speedily everything was arranged. |
was At headquarters and saw and heard ii
all. Within half an hour Il court.martial was
convened grave faced officers who looked
into tho face of tho young man AZ tirSt with
inturest-then with something like ahmira-
tion. / said a young man. ] was wrong. He
was a boy or IL or Is. He had big blue eyes.
chestnut curls, and his cheeks were as smooth
as a girl's. He was a handsome lad and |
believe that every man in the tent felt pity
for him.
whats your namcp'
James Blank
"What reginent:'
No reply. -
Are you a citizen or q soldicr!"
No reply.
'Can you make any defense to tho charge
of being a spyf'
No reply.
The officers looked at each other and nod
ded, and the president waved his hand. 1t
didn't seen aminute before a file of soldiers
came. The face of the boy grew white, but
he moved like one in n dream. His big blue
eyes looked upon ore after another. rs If
searching for a friend and my heart yearnGd
to cry out that he was only a boy ana ought
to be given more time.
Tramp! Tramp! Tramp!
1t was the detail marching him off into the
darkness.
"Halt! Tie this handkerchief over his
ewes"
They had brought a lantern. BY it's light
| saw the big blue eyes for the last time as
they looked around in a duzed way. | want
ed 10 shout to the boy and warn him that it
was not even yet too late to prove that he
was not what they believed him TO be, out
the grimness of the scene parched my
tongue.
place him there. fall back Attention!
Readv-aim-fre.h
Ten minutes later the officer in charge of
the firing party touched his cap and report
ed:
"Orders have been executed, sir"
ANY further evidenceE'
"No, sir, except that she was a young
Woman.n
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27

On the Drum-Hcad.
We had crossed the river TO aunt for Lee
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27

DR.. Cullimore, eye and ear, Bee bldg
Omaha daily bee., 1891-12-27

A few more elegant office rooms may be had by applying
to X. w Baker, superintendent, Office on counting room floor
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17

that, in order to induce US to take goods IN
stead of gold, the prices of the goods VIII pc
cut down, so as to make them tempting, III
spite of the Mckinley tariff. So many 1ac-
tories abroad are dependent upon this mar
ket, and so many factory hands must star!e
if they do not accept the lower wages thelr
employers will be compelled to pay TO re,
tain our trade, that look upon Increases
importations of cheap foreign goods as al
most certainty.
PLENTY OF MONEY HERE.
Besides we do not need to import
gold for any really good purpose. we
have an abundance of currency, and we are
adding to it S4, 100000 per month by the
issuing of legal tender notes against the
purchases of silver bullion under the act OF
July, 1890. The gold that we have recently
sent abroad came mostly from the United
States Treasury, where it had been lying
unused for years, and its withdrawal d1d
not hurt business any more than II 1t had
fallen from the clouds.
The proof that we have all the currency
we need is found in the absence OF the
usual demand for it here at this season to
send to the West and Southwest to aid IN
moving the crops. These sections are
amply supplied already, and do not call
for more. Gold, ifit were to be imported,
couldn't be proftably used. 1t would lie
idle, as it lay idle before it was exported,
and would add nothing to the country busi-
ness.
In another point on which 1 found myself
compelled to differ with many authorities,
the event is already vindicating my iudg-
ment. Six weeks ago 1 showed by
arithmetic that the profits OF the
national banks on circulation would
not be sufficient inducement to
them to buy the maturing ~ per cents and
extend them at 2 per cent. This was In the
face of a declaration by prominent New
York banker that if the Government would
make the extended rate per cent instead OF
~, which it proposed to do, the national
banks of this city would buy up and extend
the whole of the bonds in private hands.
THE PROSPECT AHEAD.
Now see he recedes from the position he
then took, and the prospect is that the Gov
eminent will have others to deplete its
500, 900, 900 greenback redemption fund to
stay off the non-extended AIS, or else let
them run till Congress meets at AZ per
cent, as the contract provides.
Nevertheless, whatever may be the fate
of the Union Pacific Railway Company, the
movement of gold or the disposition of the
Az per cent bonds, am entirely in accord
WIFI my Dull lTleHuS III Taxing d CuccIlul
view of the immediate business future Of
the country. Whether stocks go up or go
down, and whether this, that or the other
embarrassed corporation or firm does or
does not pull through and escape insolv-
ency, the broad fact remains that the earth
this year will add literally to the country's
wealth, and will furnish solid basis for
business prosperity. This will not help
concerns which have only 80 cents of assets
with which to pay 100 cents on debt, but it
win be of material benefit to all the rest.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
A BABY SMOKER.
His Parents to Be Prosecuted by the
Illinois Humane Society.

His Parents to Be Prosecuted by the
Illinois Humane Society.
CHICAGO, Aug. 16.-The Illinois Humane
Society has decided to prosecute the 2-year-
old Leonard Turner, the tobacco-smoking
baby. The childs case was brought to
public notice a day or two ago. Ever
since the baby was months old, his father,
who is said to be a dissipated character, has
been teaching the child to smoke The
child has now become SO accustomed to the
weed that he cries for his pipe and tobacco
The mother b as had to work to support the
family and of late has been leaving
the little fellow at a day nursery.
The matron of the nursery refused to
allow the use of tobacco and reported the
case. The Humane Society at once took
the matter, and yesterday two physicians
examined the child.
He was found to be in q very feeble con-
dition, already suffering from acute nico-
tine poisoning and having what is known to
physicians as the tobacco heart His
skin, eyes and brain are also affected He dis
plays but little intelligence now, and bright
ems up only when his pipe is placed before
his eyes. Acting on the report of the
physicians, the Humane Society has sworn
out warrants for the arrest of the parents
The penalty for such an ofense is not less
than $40 nor more $500 fine, or one year in
the penitentiary, or both. Doctors express
doubts as to whether the child can be
brought back to healthy condition.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
FILLED WITH wARsHIPs.
Not Much Chance for the Sea Pirates In Ber-
ing Sea Now.

Not Much Chance for the Sea Pirates in Ber-
ing Sea Now.
SAN FRANCISCO, Aug 16.-The sealing
schooner G. H. White, Captain WiddIns,
arrived yesterday evening from Unalaska-
She is the vessel that ran away from the
Ihetis in Bering Sea July Z, as reported by
Captain Reiter, of the Navy Department,
recently. The Captain says he had not re,
ceived any notification to leave the sea, and
when the Thetis bore down on him ne trfed
and succeeded in avoiding capture He left
the sea on learning it was filled with war
ships.
Under instructions from Washington
charter has been effected with the Alaska
Commercial Company to make special
trip from Unalaska to st. Miehaels to bring
away the United States Coast and Geodetlc
Survey party of j. E McGrath and land
them in San Francisco. The vessel Will
reach here toward the last of October. L.
III. Whitelaw, the owner of the whaling
schooner Laninfa, which was seized In
Bering Sea recently, has sent statement to
Washington, claiming that the vessel had
not been engaged in sealing, and asking for
a release on bond pending an Investigation.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
A GOLDEN HARVEST CERTAIN.
WORTH ONE BILLION DOLLARS MORE
THAN IN YEARS.

Corn viii Average One Dollar and Oats
Cotton, Rye, Cattle and Tobacco Ad-
vancing Rapidly.
NEW YORK, Aug. 16-Farm profits
will be 81, 900, 0OO, 900 more this year in the
United States than they have been during
the recent years of depression. At least
this is the estimate put forward by the
Anlerican 4gricdtria in its annual review
of the harvests, to be published in the forth
coming September issue of that magazine.
On the basis of present prospects this au-
thority estimates the corn crop OF 1891 at
1900, ,OOO, 900 bushels, wheat 500, ZOO, 900
bushels and oats 622, 600, 900 bushels respect
lively in 1890, and LOO, ,445 and 55S, ,00O, 900
bushels as the average for the preceding II
years. This makes the total prospective
crop of corn, wheat and oats 3,122, ,000, 900
bushels, or 2S.S per cent greater than last
year, and 14.7 per cent over the average of
the preceding IL years.
The American Aqricaltuist believes that
unless unexpected influences wholly change
the current of events, the value of corn on
the farm will average 81 per bushel and
oats at least 40 cents. On this basis the
Nalut VI lHt COIu W Will
be 81, ,000, 600 900, wheat $500, ,000 600 and oats
$3.50, ,000, ,0O0 or a total Of S1,7JO, ,000, ,000
This is $3.50, 900, 900 more than the value of
these crops in 1890 and S625, ,00O, 600 moIe
than the value of theaverage of these crops
from 1880 to 1890 inclusive.
Cotton and rye will command better
prices than last season. Cattle are worth
one-third more than 18 months ago, with
other live stock in proportion. Tobacco is
advancing heavily for cigar leaf, contracts
being made for the crop in the field at an
advance of Is to so per cent over last year.
Hops are firm at good prices, winter fruit
will command large values, and all vege-
tables are yielding fairly, with every indi-
cation of a remunerative market.
The export outlook was never better.
Immensely increased sums will be sent to
the United States for our produce. u
terror influences may of course interfere
with this brilliant prospect, but we confess
we are beginning to share more fully the
hopes of certain well-informed, but conserv-
ative agriculturists, who predict better
profits for the farmers of the United States
during the next five years than ever be-
fore.
The American AgricdturiSt says there will
be no return of "war" prices, but the money
received above expenses will go further and
enable the farmer to get more value out of
his profits than at any previous period.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
BIG GAME FOR THE POLICE.
A Party of railroad Magnates Arrested for
Violating Game Laws.

A Party of railroad Magnates Arrested for
Violating Game Laws.
DANvILLE, ILL, Aug. 16. - Several
officials of the Big -Four railway system
came to grief yesterday while violating the
Illinois game laws The Vermillion County
Association has been active in prosecuting
violators, and yesterday, when news was
received that party was shooting prairie
chickens near Georgetown, officers were
sent out.
E. A. Peck, general superintendent fthe
Big -Four system; A. G. Weeks, superin-
tendent of the Peoria division; j. w. Sim
mons, agent at Paris, and George Blackman,
of indianapolis, were caught with large
number of prairie chickens in their possess
ion. After considerable parleying they put
up $50 for their appearance at Danville to-
morrow to answer to the charge against
them, and were permitted to depart.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
A BANDITS NINTH MURDER.
He Stays a Texas Deputy Sheriff Who At
tempted His Arrest.

He Stays a Texas Deputy Sheriff Who At
tempted His Arrest.
SAN ANTONIO, Aug. 16-Antonio Car
rasci, noted bandit chieftain and despe-
RADIO and the slayer of eight men, has added
another victim to his hst-Torribio Pas
trango, a Deputy Sheriff, who has secured
evidence showing that Carrasci was the mur-
derer of Charles Fusselman, a sergeant of
the Texas Rangers.
He attempted to arrest the bandit Friday
night at a fandango given on the Texas side
of the river. As the Deputy Sheriff ad-
vanced into the room the ehieftain drew a
revolver and shot Pastrango, after which
he made his escape. Fifty Mexican rangers
have followed his trail into the mountains,
but it is unlikely that he will be e-captured.
The residents of the peninsula have made
application to Governor Hogg that a de-
tachment Of State troops be stationed there.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
JAY GOULD's MERRY OUTING.
A Travelling Operation Enables Him to
Communicate With Civilization.

travelling operation Enables Him to
Communicate With Civilization.
SAN Francisco, Aug. 16.-There is abso-
1utely no foundation for the reports that
Jay Gould is seriously ill at Soda Springs,
Idaho. Parties who have just returned and
who met the Wall street wizard deny posi-
lively all such reports. Mr.. Gould is as
spry and alert as he ever was His special
train of three cars is switched on siding,
while the party is in the country fishing and
hunting.
Whenever good fishing ground is reached
lineman cuts the telegraph wires and puts
in an instrument, so that constant communi-
cation is kept up with the outer world
Manager Clark, of the Union Pacific, is
Gould's constant companion. The Gould
party takes long drives off into the country,
miles away from civilization, and enjoys
camping out at ranches they come across
The party will probably reach Salt Lake
early next week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
GOTHAM sMueGLERs TR1PPED UP.
One Had SO Yards of Silk Around His Body
and More in His Trunk

NEW YORK, Aug. 16.-The Custom House
officers made several important seizures of
smuggled goods on the steamship Umbria,
which arrived from Liverpool last night
Joseph Zeiter, of Syracuse, N Y, was
found to have so yards of black silk wrapped
around his body, and in his trunk was found
80 yards more of the silk, besides gold
watches, six shawls, II sets of fine cutlery,
anumber of neerschaum pipes and a quantity
of lace.
Two other passengers on the same vessel
were also caught in an attempt to smuggle
various articles of jewelry valued at $780,
They were Abram Yesner and Jacob Rosen-
berg, of this city, and they were discovered
through their passing a package to friend
on the pier. The officers followed the
three men TO a saloon in the vicinity, ar
rested them and found several hundred dol
lars worth of iewelry in their possession.
The jewelry was confscated and the men
locked up.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
A SICK wOMAN's BRAVERY.
She Wounds and Drives Away a Burglar
who Entered Her Room.

ALLIANCE, Aug. l6.-The people of Augusta,
o.. a few miles south of this place, are in a
state of great excitement over a bold at
tempt at burglary last night. The house of
Frank Brennan, a prominent hardware
merchant, was entered during his absence
His wife was sick in bed at the time, and
hearing the noise of the fellow entering her
room, raised on her elbow, and taking re-
volver from her pillow deliberately fired
three shots at the burglar. He gave a fear
ful yell, being evidently hit by the second
shot, and the whole neighborhood was
aroused by the noise. The fellow escaped
but the woman says she can identify him.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
TOOK PRUssIC ACID AND DIEp.
A Girl Disappointed in Love Succeeds in q
Third Suicidal Attempt

CANTON, Aug. lG.-After two previous un-
successful attempts, Esther Reno has finally
succeeded in a suicide attempt. The, girl
was p years of age, and very pretty. She
was a daughter of Fireman Reno, and was
respectfully connected. For some time the
vouHg lady had cherished q fUndness for a
young man named Roberts, who did not re-
ciproCate.
Miss Reno first tried to poison herself at
her home. Then again, when she saw Rob-
erts with another girl, she took large dose
Oflaudanum and lay down in front of Roberts
door steps. The young man returned home,
and was Mortified at the sight of the young
lady, apparently dying. He summoned aid
ana saved the girls life. Early this morning
the poor girl took large dose Of prussie
acid and died in horrible agony.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-08-17
The Last of the Special Seashore Excur-
eions Via the Pennsxlxauia RaiIrnud

Will be Thursday, August2O. Tickets will
be sold at rate of SO 90 for the round trim.
good ten days from date of sale, and to
either Cape May, Atlantic City, Sea Isle
City or Ocean City and return. A train of
Pullman parlor cars and day coaches will
leave Union station at $50 A. NJ Tickets
also available for passage on regular trains
that date at 4:30 and $40 p. NJ. Pullman
sleeping cars on night trains. Secure your
tickets, seats in the parlor cars and berths
in the sleeping cars at once, at the office,
11O Fifth avenue.