davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
The DEBT SETTLEMENT.
Rejoicing Over 1t in Sussex County-A
Monument to Commodore Maury.
Norfolk Virginan.l

WAyFRIY. VA, November 2l.-The peo-
pIe throughout this section are greatly re-
ioiced AT the settlement of the DEBT ques-
ton. so far as the State Commission ana
Rondho lders' Committee are concerned,
and shall certainly expect their conciu-
sions TO be ratified by the incoming Legs
lature as well a. the bondholders, as one
alike lust aud honorable 10 all parties, ana
thereby remove the most yexauous ques-
tion any people ever had to contend with,
through which Liliputians have ridden
into power and which has been an incubus
upon the body polite.
Nothing now should hinder our grand
old State stepping 20 the front IN the
galaxy OF States, as none are comparable
TO her in climate and resources.
AZ monuments 10 the great ana the
GOOD have been in order from time lmlne-
moral. ALLOW me TO suggest through your
columns that lnitiatory steps be taken Dy
the coming Congress TO raise monument
10 the greatest benefactor of our ago ana
10 whom all nations who fly q san owe
tribute. i refer to Commodore Mathew h.
n sbould be an international under
taking and q worlds tribute to World
benefactor, and being Nirginlan no place
should be so appropriate for us eIectioh
ag on Fort Calhoun or the Rlp-haps ia
HAMPTON Roads, Wnlcn i o"hSu ny ste
Government, and. l believe, IS Delng us
mantled. ao
II should be raised TO an immense
height, with figure Of Commodore Maury
on the pinnacle holding torch in his right
hand. which could be lighted by an electric
wire from Fortress Monroe. 1t could, IN
that position, be seen long distance at
sea and the location is one that would ena-
bIethe marine of the world to view 1t keepin
remembrance the work of their benetactor.
An the civilized nations OF the glooe
,r;b,,te To sueh a memorial shaft.
hone that our Senators and Represen-
tatiyes will urge this before the next Con-
eTess, and that the legislatures Of the va
Sious States may memoralizs Congress on
the subject liz
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

Mc lco; or qualification to our people. Mr..
hayisc sas mas never practiced law, but
"a ca,n, served as clerk OF our courts and
extend;sls in chancery for a period
fbcrn.sg over forty years he comes
sssn,e,,r,osnghly within that clause Of tho CON.
wan alien s...il requiring such Judges 70 be men
w, ycrsed in the law.
psners. william Q. White, Tho pastor ~ the
absssy terrain church at this place, IL still
,an.lh1 attending tho bedside ~ his
d"n .s Z. mrs. DIR. William White. at Hamp.
PRIMITIVE SIaHT.
~. nor Ihe past weak stream OF wacona
ses aoyanoitas and the adjoining coun.
49, as oeen moving from here 10 Mil.
~ -, suu returning. Eometimes there arc
ia,,....l,y as SIX or eight of these teams foI !.
1919 closely together. They carry trade
s ~ Iue' point and are hauling back 10 the
s.,.t. 'oelr supplies for the winter. TIE
s s'lsi = quite primitive but before another
ason comes this custom will doubtless
nave oeeh relegeted TO the past.
CAUGHT WILD CAT.
an Old hunters set trap some days AGO
~ inc rails at the lower end Of the valIey.
NeAt morning he found In il the remains
81 grounding partially deyoured.
SsuaSlng what was left OF tho hog and set.
ting MS trap. near by be returned the next
morning 10 find that he had cantured an
immense wildcat. BY little mapU nvrino
ulS daughter, who had accompanted
hln' shpped q collar around the cnt's neck
ana the Old gentleman now has his lord
SNIP safely chained at his home.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
Our Council Turkey Rafiier.

A Richmond city councilman has been
a,resied Tor taking part in turkey-rafiie
and refusing 10 draw out Of the game when
ordered 10 do 80 by a shocked policeman.
n h 10 be feared that there are many men
~ this fast old planet WAC are unable 10
. =, the seduetiveness OF turkey-raihe.
peybaps they believe II to be an ancient
49,, ~ cace laJIdable custom not TO be re-
s car at worst as more than the miidest
Sort Of q nlalum pyohtblu'n. Perhaps they
soasrd the great cost of a turkey procured
s4he hagards of the dice as evidence that
s ~ ,us and the desire 70 get pro.
nsStg without labor can't be charged
po.g the turkey -rs6ier. There iSe
opcD who viii drink no stimn-
iant but GIN. and yet regard themselves as
sngualy yrtu95us sh aba sse sss epthHsasts
liz rseavd the process OF turkey raining
AZ NOT eaabling, but a spirited method Tor
sbs disfribution of food products.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
, VERY SUDDEN DEATH.

a., & r. Tucker, respected lady,
..,.,4hrcc wears. residing on Shop
> ,.,.,. sat down IN good health with
,..rbers Of the family at the supper
~ las, night While eating and en-
hs .D pleasant conversation she sud
% t.r, nom her char and died in few
--@ .. Death was caused by heart.
-.-S sha died with the food in her
She bsd made no compliant be
,-a attack and her sudden demise
.-.l, shock
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
r.,vNrr COLLECTIONS.

-r,-. u.s. general rejoicing among the
t.-. over the news that the foreign
ii....-- have accepted the proposed
.sr.. settlement OF the State debt
.. favorable prospect of an
..t permanent removal Of this
.-f'tc, from State politics.
..-. Ire no people more pleased
81 ~, -pcct than the taxpayers Of
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

Zoe, Il my duty TO write you in regard
20 the benefit your BradycSotine has been
70 W. wife Eeer since child she hss
~ ny subject 10 the most dreadful hesd-
sehes. usually several times q month
She has tried doe.o 'S ppsgent these spells
to, avsne their course. Bradycrotine has
n nas failed 10 eject curei IN single m
~ l.a,,e~ one dote usually being sufficient.
nsenr 4. Frost Monmouth. Me.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
t'ag SPRINGS VALLEY BOULEVARD.
va bsiug Rapidly Psshed-Grsat im'
pFoysYusDts - tt,a F4of.-Nofes.

bsiug Rapidly PGshed--Great im-
p'ovemsnts at the HOt-Notss.
.f's9.u1eacs o. the Richmond Dispatch.l
-, .EE spusos. Va, December IS,-Ihe
it y construction on the boulevard
~. 1i'' Springs 10 this place - being
tt-I pushed. GOoch x Wall, the con-
~. '' have a large force OF oonyie.s
M ~ there. 1t IL probable that tnis
IN. t.a BE- completed 20 within one mus
.s Warm BY February Ist. Inc pro.
,.,-'' i..r the cOnYicts are ample anu
TsE ofHEE IMPROVEMENTS.
4, e' ile Hot the face Of the earth has been
w N preparing for the improvements
.,,.- are ia process Of construction. =
-. Juse lG5xl25 feet is being built, sun
large hotel and depot eoinblh9u,
a., Transfer ipyalids from the cars oy
- d eleYatOts immediately 10 'Ds'i
tSJond the addition OF chiidrens
i-gto1in 70 the present birmingham no
V,'Lg Is beng done al the Warm.
~ william 81. kicAllsstef Is ia hicn-
+, "a business trip.
h. county Court was In session mere
e., -is' occupied chiefly WITH the COT III
-'S.'on proceedings tor the Douiessf"-
q sELI-yEEsTD JUDGE.
s.e election Of Mr.. q. IL. McDannaid ~
'sd this county and Of Highland - =
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
ADwELLlNG DESTROYED.
Mrs. Redd's Heavy Loss-The Marriage OF
Frank Redd aud Mrs. Neal

Correspondence of the Richmond Dispatch'l
NyuvRR1S. Va, December 19.--The dwell:
;ns'bonse containing all the furniture OF
NJ q Redd. was burned to the ground
iast njeht. The oause of the fire is I'M
i nno1 m There was no insurance on the
hhnn JiGGi or furniture. The loss of house
and contents leaves the widow IN very Inn
tied circumstances. No.. NJ
Mr. Frank Redd and MIS-. Mattie wear
tn',norrow (SundayJ morning. The mar
risss will take place in the Wesleyan
n Price returned from Richmond,
Va Yesterday, where he purchased big
snppiy of Xmas so DDS.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

.--,,.rrro. Va. December le.--Judee
- this evening admitted Alfred
5.rsca to bail IN the sum OF $4,000 and
80 special jury TO try the case next
y. s.fslav,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
-F--.VaL INTELLIGENCE.
.... Smith daugbter of Genera
"--5ULLEs HANDSOME BANK.
a IsraauEe for Lot and a Church
Victims Of the Grip.


Victims Of the Grip.
.---.1i....cof the Richmond Dispatch.l
.-a.wiI VA, December 1S.-The
T.-s .I ding on the corner Of Nam
O.. ...r.4 streets - entirely completed,
...-- g the most attractive business
s lr town. The Farmers Bank
-r. ,'. The building this week and oc-
'-a lower door. On yesterday the
-.- .upany moved 10 the upper
r-.- they hayeNery handsome Of
IT,. ..aaea - the drug stock Of A. 7.
..-.' .T ,-e IRE last Sunday night was
Cd b., agents selected to assess them at
. IT,. stock IS being moved across the
.-' --'.. the store can be repaired: Inc
8. the floor were charred ana
--. aud large hole burned IN the
:-: we place.
ATAR EXCHANGE.
3D.. g.tgatiOn Of the African Me-
.- church mas exchanged its church
s . on which 10 is situated on
-.... street with Mr.. w. Ii. Spiller
- .. east Main street, and have
-. ....- financial ARRANGEMENTS TO build
20. ..---a Oh the lot at once.
~ >'--r s building a cottage on MS
.-- h,lt Land Company's reserva-
.H,., tae favorable weather work IS
RAPIDLY on the Jackson PARK
.- OWENS residence, and other
'.-..,- Pei course Of construction.
IHE GRIP.
L7 3D.. Gibbouey, who had been very
ZIP and pneunonia for several
80. JED last Monday night, and was
Wednesday,. Mrs. GlbbOney has
objection Ia Wytheyille and many
.--.. among whom she WAS highly es-
t p..1.rcy Is somewhat better; he,
- been very III.
,' ID. j. Moore and Rev. Mr. McCon-
'-.. ,yalescent from the grip.
IOB THE PAIR.
i.p pie II the Southwest are in ia
a.avral appropriation by the l.e-
a'-le 'Y our exhibit AT the World's
4-~.M0nY az such time IS the
'.. Il. ,1ua,ssauce, for in this age OF sharp
p...a the state which does not al
,'t, .iae the business which attempts
'---t by such old-fashioned pohey'
'-s 20 oe Outstripped and overlooked
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
ALARGe CHURCH chARns.
FIG hog-Killing -CspsIzed from Boat.
Mad-DOg scare-Disease Prevalent.

Correspondence OF the Richmond Dispatch.I
LoymGsroN. Va, December ia report
OF U lss, year, work made by Rev. j. w.
ago states the following facts: There are
coo members belonging TO the churches IN
der his charge. There are 48O Sunday
school scholars. One new church was
dedicated last year. The Methodists at
Eimington will build church at that
place at an early date. The whole amount
paid by the charge this year was 81, $50.
Ihere have been fifty accessions to the
membership.
Mr.. j. q. Thompson and Miss s. Z. Law.
horne were married on Wednesday last.
Mr.. L. A. Hughes, near this place. killed
1--WE hogs recently whose aggregate weight
was 1000 pounds.
The grip is once more prevalent in Low
ineston. The entire family OF Mr.. j. r..
Coleman is down with it, as is also Mrs.
George Caskie.
Mr. Edgar w. Mauryer and Miss Susie
Harris were married few days ago at the
residence of the brides father, Mr.. James
{. Harris,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

The Masses Mills and 1yro neighbor-
hood are still excited over the mad-dog
scare. Many dogs have been killed, but it
is feared that others affected with rabies
are still roaming about.
Iypboid-teyer is still doing much damage
on Plney liver. Mr.. Floyd Massle has Just
lost his little eleven-year-old daughter
Efie, and her younger sister, Bessie, is
down with the fever. Mrs. Patrick Massie
and her nine-year-old son Byron are also
sick with il. Nelson, though usually. e
very healthy county and famed for the
longevity Of it's residents, has been much
afflicted with epidemlcs during the past
summer and fall. First typhoid-fever,
then diphtheria. and now the grip have
been filling the doctors pockets with
money and the cemeteries with newly-dug
graves. IL is the earnest hope of all here
that the cold weather will put an end to
these scourges.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

The settlement with the county trea-
surer at the meeting of the Board of Su-
peryisOrs, held on Tuesday, showed the
county TO be in debt S2l2. against Sl,7O
last year-a very good showing.
Mr. W. II. Woody met with an accident
that might have proved very serious while
bOat-riding with a young lady friend on
Rockfsh river few days ago. The boat
was capsized and the young couple preci-
plated into the stream at a plsce where
the water was Of great depth. The young
man succeeded IN getting nelady TO shore.
so nothing more serious than a ducklng
was sustained from the accident.
Mr. Il. K. Bradshaw. of Lovingston, who
was mentioned IN this correspondence on
Friday as having injured his back severely
from fall, is improving. He still fears,
however. that permanent trouble may re-
suit from the accident.
Miss Lucy Parrish, the daughter of Mr..
William n. Parrish, of 1yro, TINS county,
was taken with O severe form of tOnsilitis
the hrst part of this week. DIR. Mesks
was called IN and was tor some tine un-
able TO decide whether or not il was diph-
liberia and much uDeasiness was felt in
the neighborhood. A decided improve
ment mas taken place in the case during
the last few days.
Mr. T. J. Tyree, of Ellington, killed a
large deer few days ago on the James
river.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
corros-srFo CAKE, a..

CtHEAP. FOR CASH. PRIME COT
~ ToN-sEED CAKE snc MEAL. PURE OIL
CAKE aud NEAL, III any quantity, Tor Feed ekd
Fertilizer. Inducements Tor cnr-loadA
Virginia PINE SEAsONEp< CORD WOOD ~
sAls b. carload WILLIAM y nAxA1!9.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
WRAPS. JACKETS, CAPBS,
Ladies. Misses, and Children

our stock has Just been replenished by very
large purchase and must be sold al a greatsaciri
GbrisImas present would be one OF our bargains
in Fnr-Trimmed Jackets and Capes. 500 new
~ Wr,rs must be sold this week. Come and get a
bargain. Tans, Light Grays, and blacks' AL iur-
inn
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
DIOHMoND, FREDERICKSBURG

DICHMOND, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
III AND POTOMAC RAILROAD COMPANY.
TIE Board Of Directors OF this company have do
clared DIVIDEND OF 3t% PER CkNT. on ~
common capital stock and dividend obligations.
paynble on the On OF JANUARY, 1892, 70 all
holders Of record on the Goth OF December, 1891,
from which date 10 the Sd OF January, 1892, tho
the books OF transfer wiz be clcssd.
do 17-tJs2l J. h. WINSTON, Treasurer.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20

rNHE DIRECTORS OF THIS COM
Il PAEY have declared O semi-annuai dtsi-
dend ont Of net procts Of past six months OF ~
PR CENT free OF tax), payable on and after
sAMUEL II. PULLIAM,
do 20.25,27,Ja1 Secretary and Ireasurer.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES.

E,OR SALE OR RENT, TWO Bill
IL LARD and two PC0I-TABLEsi liz college
Town" Three hundred and atty 70 four hum
dred students- Fair patronage o. uaveltng
Terms very cheap or rent easy. Change Of resi-
denco reason for Offering Application ~ letter
or ofherwise 10 NED CUMMfNS, Tenth and
Broad streets, Richmond, Va
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
DOIlSI Dolls! Dolls,

Bsque, Iudes,ructble, China, Rubber,
Dressed and Undressed, in fact every kind Of
DOH manufactured. From &c. to s15 for the
largest made.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-12-20
DIVIDEND NOTICES.

OFFIcE or GRANITE PERPETUAL
BUILDING FUND COMPANY, |
No. 2 NORTH Tenth STREET,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04
In the Wild West.

There were three passengers in the
Deadwood stage a long.legged cow
boy, bespectacled and highly refined
old maid from Boston and man who
had nothing to do but listen.
eyer needn't tell me anything
about Injuns," continued the cowboy,
replying to remark of the old maids.
"I've lived with 'em an seen 'em.
They're treacherous, filthy critters.
I've had their bullets an their arrers
into me, an tell yer there amt no
good Iniun but dead Injun."
"Have you ever read Helen Hunts
'Romola p" mildly asked the old
maid.
"Helen hunted what :" replied the
cowboy, with heavy accent on the
what.
'Romola, 'Romola, book written
by dear Helen Hunt. Have you ever
read itp"
"No, never read Roman, an if
it's anything about Injuns I don't
want ter. I know how you eastern
folks feel erbout Injuns. That's be.
cause you don't know anything erbout
'em."
After this there was silence for some
time. Finally the Boston lady dis.
covered a hillside covered with yellow
flowers. She gazed at them admiring-
ly for moment, then, turning to the
centaur, said:
"You are acquainted, I suppose,
sir, with the fora and fauna of this
region ?"
"With the who1"
"The fauna and fora ?"
The cowboy turned to the window,
and with a sudden and emphatic
motion of the head and lips, sent a
yellew jet of tobacco juice nearly to
the struggling fence at the side of the
road. He then deliberately crossed
his leg, pulled his slouch hat low over
his eyes, and sank back into corner
of the car. Although the Boston
dame addressed him several times, he
did not speak another word all the
way into Deadwood.-St. Paul Pioneer
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04
His Scheme Wouldn't Work.

James" she said, as they were pack.
ing for a short trip into the country,
"are you going to wear that neglige
shirt"
Certainly" he responded. "You
don't suppose am going to loaf round
in starched one, do your
"Oh, no, but you must put in a
white one, you know. Well be there
over Sunday"
"What of it?" he asked irritably.
What of it" she repeated, in sur.
prise. why, James, you can't 60 to
church in neglige shirt, and you
must go to church, you know. Aunt
Marie would think it awful if you
didn't"
"But ifI forgot to bring the white
shirt he suggested, "she-"
"But you mustn't forget it," she
interrupted. "You must 60, really
You promised you'd do what ] want.
ed you to on this trip"
He sat down in corner of the
room with his grip in front of him and
thought it all over for minute. Then
he said:
"All right, Jennie. Ifit'll please
you I'll take one."
He took shirt out of a drawer
and jahmed it into a grip, and to
show her appreciation of the act, she
put her arms around his neck and
kissed him.
And the following Sunday morning
while he was getting his last doze, she
took the shirt out of the valise and a
moment later her voice rang out clear
and sharp:
"James, where are your collars and
cuffs ?"
"Heyf" he said partially awaken.
ed. "Oh. collars and cuffs. Aren't
they there?"
"No; they are not"
II must have forgotten them." he
said, yawning, and turning over.
"You certainly didn't bring them.
There was menacing ring in hel
voice but he failed to notice il.
"Then cant 60 to church." h,
said.
"Yes, you can," she retorted. 'l
know you, james Stringer, and 20,
can't fool me in that way"
And he went, wearing a IL collal
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04
Some Replies that will Never be
FORGOTTEN.

Robert Hall, even when insane, did
not lose his wonderful power of repair
tee. An insincere condoler once visit
ed him in the asylum and said, in a
hypocritical tone: "What brought
you here, Mr.. Hall' Hall touched
his head with his finger and replied
"What will never bring you, sir-too
much BRAIN" The extreme sensitive
ness of Thackeray to criticism is we'll
known. He once said to Douglas
Jurrold: 81 hear that you have been
saying that The Virginians' is the
worst book ever wrote" 81 never
said anything ofthe kind, ," said Jerrold
81 said that it was the worst book any
body ever wrote"
A lady who lived near Thomas Car
lyle kept Cochin. China fowls, and the
growing was so intolerable nuisance
that the philosopher sent to complain
of it. The lady was indignant.
"Why," she said, "the fowls only crow
four times day, and how can Mr..
Carlyle be so annoyed at that p
"The lady forgets," was the charac-
teristic rejoiner, "the pain I suffer in
waiting for those crows" The old
nurse of James I, having followed
him from Edinburgh to London, en-.
treated him to make her son a
gentleman. my good woman" said
the king, ~ might make him laird
Gland owner), but I could never make
him a. gentleman" "They tell me,
Sir John, that you like glass Divine, "
said George III, to the commander.
in-chief of Ireland. "Those who have
reported that fact" replied Sir John
Irwin, "have done me great injustice,
I like bottle" The duke of Norfolk,
who was much addicted to the bottle,
asked Foote, the actor, in what new
character he should go to a masque-
rade. "Go SOBER" was the instant
reply.
A young officer complained to Ma
poleon that he had served six years a
lieutenant. 81 served seven years in
that grade," was the answer, "and it
has not prevented me from making
my way" Napoleon was at one
period of his career great economist.
He said, between st. Cloud and Paris,
to Lauriston: "Why does not the
carriage 60 faster?" at would" an
swered Lauriston, "if more oats were
allowed"
The transition from Napoleon to
Wellington is easy. On one occasion
the duke was in imminent danger of
being drowned at sea. The captain
of the ship at bedtime came to him
and said: "It will soon be all over
with u.s." "Very WE'LL" answered the
duke, "then I shall not take off my
boots" AT some party a lady of
high rank asked him whether it was
true that he had been surprised at
Waterloo by Napoleon. 81 never
was surprised till now," was the char
acteristic reply.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

belonging to "Uncle Henry" on Is
neck belonging to himself. And the
cuffs could have been put ON outside
his coat sleeves.
But he went just the same, and the
next time he tells his wife he will 40
anywhere he will make preparations
accordingly.-Chicago Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

Mr.. Sudbang-"I didn't see yo' al
church larst Sabbuf, Brer Worbat. u
Mr.. Worbat-"Nossir I doan'
come fer to git suited"
Mr.. Sudbang-Whard'-whad d.
worl' suited yo' chile'?"
Mr.. Worbat-"Jess when I come
in d. doan yo' yells out frum d. pull
prit, 'Whad am dis yer cuss dat ha,
cum upon us p Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

The Boston Style-Mrs. Newmonnai
-"Did you sweep the parlor floor
this morning, Mary ?" Mary (who
worked in Boston family last)-"I
cannot accomplish impossibilities,
madam. But swept the carpet that
covers the floor very carefully
Boston News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

Mrs. Blew-"Where is Robert Z"
Maj. Green-"He went in the dark
room with Ethel to develope a mega
tive" Mrs. Blew--"By the time they
are gone I fancy they are developing
an affirmatiye."-Puck
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

Belated Traveler-"How far is il
from here (hic) to the Boston and
Maine depot?" Codgins--"Fiftee n
minutes walk" Belated Traveller
"For (hic) me or for (hic) you ?"-
Boston News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

Young wife-"Harry, how can you
take SO much notice Of other women ?
You used to tell me entirely filled
your heart"
Young husband-"Yes, dear but
there's such thing as enlargement Of
the heart you know boston Tran
script.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

The old man consentlng--Preacher
Ethel Harding is going to elope
with Jack Davis tonight" His wife
Dear mel How did you find it
out?" Preacher--"I met Ethel's
father this afternoon, and he asked
me to sit up and wait for them."-
New York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

The Missionary Spirit.-Mrs. Watts
~ suppose it is owing to lack of
time that you never wash your face ?"
Hungry Higgins-"Yes'm. I'm too
busy scourin' the country."-Indiana-
polls Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1891-11-04

"Well, Rastus, were you convicted
Of stealing that goose ?" mo sab.
l was acquitivated, on an errah in de
indictment, sab. De fowl was not a
goose, but goslin, sab. "--Harpers
Bazaar.