The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1891-02-25
FARM AND FIRESIDE.

marryin' bump was high. He expected if
Bill I'D marry rich wilder he'd make
more money that way than any other he
knowed OF
The rest of Us folders wOu ldn't have our
heads felt after that. He nit it so on Bill
we was afraid to have our virtues circu-
lated around. But We all Clipped in su'
give him quarter apiece to pay his bill at
the tavern, then we got up dance for
him an introduced him TO all the good
lookin' girls TO kind of make it all up for
him what he'd lost by our refusin'.
There amt no rich widders around here
an Bill hadn't any money to go off an
hunt any, but, for all that, We missed him
one day. Now. this country can lose all
that's in it better'n Bill, Tor he is the
livenest teller TO hove around at funerals,
an weddin'g, an places where folks needs
chirkin' up little, and you might as well
invite him to all of EN-, for If you don't
he will invite himself and come accordin'
to invite. Bill can tell more good stories
and sing more funny songs than anybody,
and he is always so willin' to oblige you,
or do anything to help anybody else, be-
sides himself or his own folks, that it's no
wonder we missed him an got out search
warrant finally an went out to hunt him,
and wheTs do you think we found him?
Down below town about five miles lives
OLD Nancy Jane Cracker, an old maid six
ty-five wears old if she's n day, and for
fifty years she's been huntin' man, but
never succeeded in gettin' one, till Bill
was foreOrdained an born for that pur-
pose. Nancy Jane has a purity good
eighty acres of land with good house, an
several head OF horses, chickens, calves
and so forth. on it, an Bill had gone down
there an took that all in, an Nancy
throwed in. too. We found him the sec
ond night after We started ont to hunt
him, and we made him git mp out OF bed
an treat to the cider, an when we had
eat up all the cakes and pies in the house
we come home sadder an more enlight-
ened citizens.
Nancy had always kept a hand to farm
her land for her, but the day after she
married Bill she turned him of. 1t didn't
take her long to find out she'd have to do
it herself now. Nancy's the boss scolder
and she soon told Bill what she thought
of him.
Bill tod hOr he didn't come down there
to hire out to her, but to marry her, an
be had done that, an If she wanted hired
hand to git the old one back. She had to
finally do it, too. She then made Bill
overseer over the wood-pile. an the chick
en-yard, but when she found she had to
burn chips, an gather 'eE1 herself, an
two OF her best Bramah ROSTERS laid down
an died for the want of water, then
Nancy got righteously mad, an' told Bill
to go in the house an cock hisself up on
the parlor mantle.shelf along with the
conch-shell an the plaster paris flower
pot, an other ornaments. But Bill he
don't pretend to be no parlor ornament.
You see, be is too much needed around
this country, an he knows it.
He has TO teach all the young boys
comein' on how to swim, an where to
find the biggest fish, an help 'em get in
their winter supply of wainuts an hickory
nuts an 90 huntin' with 'em to see that
they don't shoot themselves. Then again
he has TO see that all the clocks an SEWN
machines is kept in good runnin' order
for all the women folks. Then Bills the
master hand in sickness. He sees to ali
the sick lolks an will set up ten nights
or has been known to-wIthout tlinchin'
with sick friend. Nancy Jane wants to
be a Christian an do her duty by him
she says. SO sometimes, when he stays
too long, her and the hired man bitches up
an goes to look for him. Nancy saws she
reckons beins the Lord give him to her she
must kind of take care OF him, but it's a
tiabergasted JOB, and guess may be it is.
But takin' Bill up one side an down the
tOther, / will have to say that there is
many better man here that we could
spare far better than we, as community,
can spare Bill. Yours truly, "FRANK."