The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-26
BRIGHT BITS.

CLIENT-Yyyou a-aare a-a-a SEQ sco-scoun
drel, SIS sir
Lawyer-Take that word back this moment.
Client-Nn-n-nO. s-s-Sir. Him t-t-too gla-
gla-glad to g-g-get it out Philadelphia Times.
"WHAT do you do with that baseball mask"
why, Johnny is very bad sometimes, and the
only closet have to shut him up in is where
the preserves are. ! put the mask on him with
lock, and the preserves are safe. "-HdrpeT'S
Bdzar.
AMBITIOUS 'WBIFER-Mr. Naggus, will you
oblige me by putting value on this manu-
script?
Editor of Magazine latter reading It'll can't
do it, Mr.. Borus. But will give you an esti-
mate on it-Chicdgo Tribune.
Miss CAUsTIQUE-I hear you won the 440-yards
run.
De Boaster-Oh, easily. The other fellows
weren't in il.
Miss Caustique-Ah, you were the only one
entered, presume.-HGruGrd LdnaDOOn.
mo" SAID THE CITIZEN to the real estate
dealer, 81 don't think want to buy any of that
suburban property, but if you'll sell that map
you made OF the place I'll take it. 1t looks a
heap purifier. | think l might get good deal
of genuine satisfaction out of the map
Washington Post.
IRVING was of a very adventuresome turn Of
mind, and one day his mother found that he
had climbed to the top of pile of boxes i'll the
storeroom. Frightened, she cried: Irving.
come down, or you'll fall aud break your head"
what in 1t. " Youths Companion.
KICKER Ito Fogg. who has Just told story
And you say that happened to you yourself?
Fogg-C Certainly; you don't doubt my word.
do your
Ricker-Fogg. you ought to cultivate your
memory great deal. That is the same story
told you about two weeks ago.-Harper'S
Bdzdr.
''DoN'T you favor this idea Of cremation?''
asked the old gentleman in the horse car of the
| man who sat next to him.
NO, sir, | don't said the other man en-
phatically. Cremation aud crime are synon
| ymOus terms with me. have been in the grave
stone business long enough to know that the
oid-fashioned method of burial is in every way
| the BEST "-SOn1erUilte Journal.
A PECULIAR case disposed of at Caldwell court
| was that OF a man who had been tried by the
mayor of Lenoir for violation of n town or
dinance and had pleaded guilty. The mayor
| fined him more than he wanted to pay, and he
appealed, and in the superior court the Jury
| acquitted him of the charge to which he had
| pleaded guilty in the mayors court. This
| strikes US something under the sun In
the way of criminal procedure. Marion IN. c.
| Free Lance.
The MEMBERS of girls class was asked a
| what was meant by bearing false witness
against your neighbor." 1T was" she said
when nobody did nothing and somebody went
| and told of it" Another was asked how beef
| tea was made, and she replied: Buy a tin OF
| beef extract, and follow the directions on the
| lid" What are warmth producing foodsr" a
| third girl was asked. The reply was Cay.
enue pepper and Jamaica ginger."-CdsseirS
| Journal
IT HAPPENED at Springfield Scene, BARRIERS
| shop Victim to barber: us this your estab
| lishment?"
mo. only half of it is mine"
| 80 you have a partner?'
The man at the next chair owns the other
| half"
Why don't you own his share?"
| That's my business "
We'll, if you own one-half and the other
| half's your business, why don't you own the
| shop?'--BoSton Commercial Bulletin,