The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1891-10-27

luz oLoBE, VIII not get onended at
what follows-no insinuations are meant
or intended by this family reference; we
merely give the facts as seen by and re-
lated to US without comment by a very
close friend. The general told US
that some years back he was on an arch
geological tramp in the Holy Land, and
that one day while inspecting a tomb
near the ruins Of Biblical Jericho, found
this Identical head occupying a niche in
the wall, just above a sarcophagus, and
that it was the only tenent of that BAN
quoting hall of death. Immediately be-
meath the mich and deeply chiseled in
the stone wall, was an inscription in a
Language which might have been Chero-
kee or Sanscrit, so far as his knowledge
went in that direction. He carefully
copied the hieroglyphics, and on his re-
turn to the "hOme of the brave and free"
again made requisition upon the supe-
rior linguistic powers of our mutual
friend joe daniels. Joseph handed in
the following translation: "This head
belonged to the ass that once spoke to
his master, Balaam." After reading this
Mr.. Patrick went out into his back yard
and did his level best to kick the ever
lasting stuffing out of his own short
sighted anatomy, and for this reason he
now plainly saw that he might have
brought home with him both the tomb
and sarcophagus, and thus an assured
fortune and long immortality would
have been his, but linguistic ignorance
had smashed the goldendream
The 'head" in question still retains the
ears, skin and hair; the eyes have lost
the sparkle and fire of youth, and now
wear far away but calm expression of
contentment; the jaws have not rusted
in their joints, and the tongue has not
! forgotten how to speak words of wisdom
as occasion may require. The general
tells me, confidentially, that it has spoken
to him on various occasions; in fact, it
! first suggested the idea of an inter state
exhibition, and limited, incidentally, that
there would be millions in such an enter
prise. Demagogue Polk, of the farmers
alliance, owes his present high Office to a
hint from the same copious source. We
will yet learn wisdom from babes, polly
wogs and tailless asses! Certain ones of
our loathsome contemporaries have slyly
hinted that Patrick's show was failure,
or in other words was bare faced fraud.
| Let all those who talk or think in that
way go down and take stock, to the
amount Of fifty cents, in the carnival Of
wonders, commune with Balaam's ass, or
with the remaining portion of that ami
mails anatomy, and our word for it, they
will return home cheerful converts to the
faith of J. T. Patrick & Co.
| A word as to the Durham band. They
are fine looking Sc of fellows, courte-
Gus and obliging, and are daily lining
their pockets with the vulgar shekels of
the realm. Sauny Cheek is the drawing
card of that institution, and he does it in
this way: Every evening at 3 o'clock, in
the grand stand, he blows himself
through his big bass horn; this has
proven rough way to. dress his hair
most of that article has been pulled out
in passing through the valves. DR.. John
son sent to him package of his "derail-
ing rooster powders, which he has used
on the scalp, and now the hair is sprout-
ing nicely on the erstwhile bald places
There is fortune for the good doctor in
those powders L. D. VANN.