The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-03-27
WIT AND lIUMOR.

The Woman's Charity is u new Bos-
ton Club.
A domestic drammcr-the growler.
-Terre Haute Express
Our relations with Bismarck Just
now seem to be cussin' German.-Bos-
ton transcript.
A musical journal says that America
needs National air. Does, ehp What's
the matter with the blizzard?-1he
Wasp.
Mr.. S.-Shall we call on the Wether-
bees tonight, my dear? Mrs. S.-No;
l have nothing to wear. Mr.. SO,
then we'll go,to the opera.-Lye.
The cook is apt to admire and fire..
quently weds the handsome policeman
on her beat. The peeler is of great
use to the cook in apple and potato
times. York Sun.
Mother = Bobby, you shouldn't
speak so Grossly to yonr father. You
never hear him speak GROSSLY to me.
Bobby-He dasscnt, ma; he's just like
me, he dassent.-Epoch.
Young Mrs. Bynthere-Let's go in
here for coffee and oysters. Young
Mr.. Bynthere-But it's half-past 4, and
you said we had cards. Mrs. Bynthere
Yes, for o'clock tea.-1ine.
Sixteen young ladies in Lowell have
formed a whist club and meet weekly
for practice. 1t is said that the neigh
bors can hear them play whist three
blocks away.-SonserCiile Journal.
Wife-'Wherc are you going, John?
It's getting late" Husband (who has
been reading a patcnt-medicine all
manac)-'rm going to see a doctor if
I live to find one. "-Harpe''s Bazdr.
The saddest words are often the
sweetest" murmured De Boor. ''The
lovers goodnight. for instance. :"
"Yes," sighed Miss Weary, II always
like to hear you say it. ."-Harper's Be-
ear.
You cannot always tell the size of a
mans pocketbook by the style his
wife gets herself up in. A woman
with low-cut dress may have hus-
band with u low-cut salary Yonkers
Statesman.
Lady Qo applicant for coachman)-
care you an Englishmana" Appli-
cant-.tNo, mum. was born in Ire
land, but I've lived so long in Ameriky
that s'pose do seem quite English.
you wv Harper's Bazar.
(. Mrs. Postlewait Did you notice
whether the Hastingses had much bric-
a-brac in their new house? Mrs. AL
leys-They haven't much--but wait a
minute-yes, l did see a snow shovel
in their Gellarway.-Judge,
Wife-Isn't this strange? The paper
says North Penn locomotive engineer
left his house to be shaved u month
ago and has not been seen since. Hus-
band (abscntly)-Um! waiting for his
turn, probably.-Philadelphiu Record.
New bride (who does the cooking,
starts up in bed at a. n1.)-Wake up,
Charley. What is the matter? Why
do you groan SO terriblyin your sleepP
Charley (half awake)-I was dream
ing, darling, of to-morrow's breakfast!
Lies,
Mrs. Browns new ball dress has
come home. Mr.. Brown-It is pretty
dress, dear, but shouldn't think It
was so heavy that you would need sus-
penders to hold the skirt up. Mrs. B.
-Suspenders, love! Why, that is the
waist!-Lies.
Mr.. Splurge-f you will let me
have that diamond crescent on memo
randum this evening .thinkl may eff
feet a sale. Jeweler laside to clerk)-
/ see his wife is going to the Lieders.
wing ball tonight. Tell limit is sold.
-sJea0elers' Weekly.
Miss Unpercrust (out shopping}-
What a beautiful woman! Mrs. Up
percrust-Yes, but she doesn't amount
to any thing in some vulgar set
or other. | just heard her ask the
price OF a bonnet before trying it on,
An eighteen-yc old girl was arrest
| ed in San Francisco the other day who
testified that for the past year she had
been consuming over 81 worth of NOR
phine daily.
& 20, for the golden age Of lcttersr'
| said the comic editor. .The past con-
talns all. the present nothing, the fu-
ture no promise.h ;.Ah!' replied Cynl,
Gus; sand that is why you print only
sixteen century jests. / presumed =
Rarper's Basa''.
Managing editor-Did you prepare
that article on s'The intellectual At
tainment of the Four Hundredp" Re-
porter-Yes, sir. Managing editor
About how much space Wilt occupyf
Reporter-About six lines. = Buriiasg.
ton Free Press.
DR.. Physick Your blood appears te
be a little out of order, madam, will
send you something which will purify
lit. Mrs. Murray Hill Gndignantlyl =
Purify my blood, s,ra Are you mol
aware that am one of the Four Hun,
dred 9-1 1oto,s Topics.
Tho young man in Montana who
4 shot himself because his sweetheart
4 rejected him missed ono of the keenes
4 pleasures of life. He should have
4 married her neigi,har and bought fol
4 his wife the pretticst spring bonnie
that canlo to his town. FoV FORT
n ~ 70