davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
REPUBLICAN, JOBBERY.
Some Fine Tinkering by Three Grea
Workmen.

Some Fine Tinkering by Three Great
Workmen.
No doubt by this time President
Harrison has discovered that it is of no
further political use to ask of his sec
rotary at Bar Harbor the scriptural
question: Art thou in health my
brother?"
For an ailing candidate the magnetic
man makes n dreadfully healthy rival.
The invalidation play on the part of
the administration is over. 1t has
found it as impossible to repress the
Blaine impulse with the fiction of
physical and mental incapacity as it is
to start Harrison boom on the basis
of the presidential speeches made on
the continental itinerary.
But it is the wheel within the wheel
that causes the present peculiar whirr
in republican politics. The Quay,
Clarkson and Dudley triumvirate is a
piece of machinery beyond Harrison's
operating skill. 1t puzzles him ex-
tremely. He finds he has got some
thing more on his hands than case of
carefully diagnosed invalidism.
The national executive committee
can hardly be subjected to the treat
ment of industrious rumors of sick
ness. 1t is a machine that is not af-
fiicted with Bright's disease of mental
malady. 1t is a very robust and rug
ged body of men. and the only trouble
with its pulse is that it does not beat
for Harrison.
The irony of it all is to be found in
any contemplation of the party cham
pionship OF civil service reform and
such like virtuous schemes of office
holding. Clarkson's fine work on pres
idential candidates is study in the
line of political complexity and manip-
ulation. And Dudley and Quay have
only resigned so that they may be free
to practice the peculiar arts with
which their names are already glo-
riously identified. Clarkson, QUAY and
Dudley make great trio, and their
performances may well be watched
with interest.
1t is very fine work that is being
done in the workshop of republican
politics at this early opening of the
next national campaign. They are no
prentice hands that are busy at the
fob.-Roston Globe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
Wrinkle then looked into the slas.

Winkie then looked into the glas.
and nearly tainted.
A vcritable comic valentine stood be-
| fore him.
His nose was larger than all the rest
| OF his head, with the real old bruiser
| tinge to it.
His head was as white and shining
| as that of whit marble statue.
II can't leave this room in ten days,
he muttered
But few seconds reflection showed
| him that he must not desert Della a
| the very altar.
He hustled into his outer coat and
| pulled his hat, thief fashion, low down
over his eyes, ran downstairs, gave
| a few directions to the driver, and
started.
He intended to stop at celebrated
hair dresser's and purchase a wig.
He found his man eager for GUS
| toner.
Il want you to fit black, curly wig
! upon my head at once" cried Wrinkle.
| throwing shame to the winds. Il am
Winklereid Wendall-this is my wed.
ding day. am ten minutes behind
| time now
Not the bridegroom of the ST. Johns
| church wedding?"
Yes Hurry up. 1 entreat you"
what price do you wish to pay?"
II don't care picayune, only get it
here sometime"
The hairdresser stepped to a side
door, gave a few directions to some
| one, and then returned and requested
/ Winkie to be seated. while he covered
| his wedding garments with large,
whit elinen sheet.
He then went into the other room
| and young lady came out with a half
dozen wigs in boxes.
She bit her lips at sight of Wrinkles
| nose, and almost laughed when he said
| irritably:
Il want one with long hair, SO that
the edges of it cannot be seen SO
plainly"
| Very WE'LL" she returned, and be.
| gan to fit an elegant ladies' couture,
with black curly bangs in front and a
long Greek knot behind, upon Wrinkle s
head.
| There. you look lovely in that she
said. 1.-The price is one hundred dol
lars
| "Umph!'' calculated Wrinkle, tearing
the sheet from about him and laying 8
| one hundred note on the counter.
| He then clapped on his hat anc
| started.
| stop! Stop!' cried the young lady.
shrilly.
The clatter of the carriage wheels
| upon the pavement was all the reply
| which she received
| ''Merciful goodness exclaimed the
! girl, almost fainting from consterna.
ton. That was a man. and l thought
| it was a woman who had been fighting
with her husband.
| Wrinkle proceeded swiftly to the
| church which was crowded.
| "Why, Wendall!" exclaimed one OF
| the ushers who met him at the door.
| what are You glaring at me for:
| There are no flies on me-" exclaimed
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
A CLOSE OBSERVER.
One Phenomenon Which a Friend Had
Difficulty in Explaining

One Phenomenon Which Friend Had no
Difficulty in Explaining.
Ibid you ever notice." said man
who has the reputation of being close
observer, .'how the moving features of
the street changer"
Some one remarked that moving
features were necessarily undergoing
constant change.
''You don't understand me-" replied
the close observer. 81 will explain.
Some days meet a certain class of
cripples. They come along almost in
a stream, and they bear a strange re-
semblance to one another. The next
day not cripple is to be seen-for it is
hunchback season. All day the hunch-
backs amble along. The next day it is
something else. Some days the collec-
tors of long-standing bills come out.
and though they do not act by any
agreement, they file into my Office al
most in procession. don't under
stand it, y
''One part of it is easily enough I'M
derstood." one OF the company remark
ed. "You don't pay your debts"
ssWell, WELL" said the close observer.
81 hadn't thought of that, and, OF
course. I can't, without meditation, give
you q direct opinion. but it strikes me
that there is much In what you say
Arkansaw Traveller.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
Origin of the Menu.

A German astronomical publication
gives the following account of the
origin of the menu: At the meeting of
the electors at Regensburg in the year
1889, Elector Henry, of Braunschweig,
attracted general notice at state din
ner. He had long paper before him
to which he referred every time he or
dered fish. The earl of Montfort, who
sat near him, asked him what he was
reading. The elector gently handed
the paper his interrogation. It con-
tanned list of the viands prepared for
the occasion, which the elector had or
dered the cook to write out for him.
The idea of having such a list SO
pleased the illustrious assembly that
they introduced it each in his own
household, and since that time the
fashion of having menu has spread
all over the civilized world. Chicago
Herald.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
By ELI d. AXE.
OUR BRIDGE.

FRIENDS dwell asunder. but hearts are near:
Love KNOWS no distance. no there, no here;
invisible bridges connect souls still
And spirits cross them at Fancy's Will
The days of old wrought our magic chain:
They wove it OF memories. joy and pain:
1t lenSthens, strengthens, q. time goes by;
New links are forging OF smile or sigh
The frackless ocean our Bridge can span;
And mountain ranges too vast for man;
The desert wild cannot break its spell
Which owns no limit If hearts live we'll
II bridges over the gulf of Death;
Our dead ones breathe with our own warm
breath:
Our pulses peat with the same keen thrill:
We see them, hear them, and hold them STILL
In the changeless Heaven our Bridge takes
rise,
Uniting earth with the far-oG skies;
Its lights are star CLEANS from angels eyes.
Its echoes the voice of Paradise.
AT times, when the night is still and clear,
When earth seems distant and Heaven more
near
Across the stiffness there floats this song:
Hope ever, true hearts; be brave-be strong,
For Time is brief, but Eternity long
Helena Heath, in Chambers Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
WHAT A KNOUT RESEMBLES.
1t Is Terrible Instrument with an Iron


1t Is q Terrible Instrument with an Iron
Hook
A knout says Petrowski. is not mere
ly lash or whip, but an ingenious
and refined instrument of torture, con-
sisting of a very long and narrow strip
of leather with thin edges. This leather
is first boiled in certain essence ICON
fected for the purpose) and, after be-
ing so boiled, is soaked in preparation
of iron, in order to make it hard and
heavy. Before allowing it to harden,
however, the thin edges are doubled
over along the whole length of the
knout, and in such a manner as to make
them very sharp, so that the knout on
it's concave side is like two long, flexible
knives. Prepared in this manner it be-
comes really terrible. One end is left
soft and supple, that the executioner
may wind it round his wrist, the other
end is terminated by an iron hook. The
lSnout falls Con it's concave side) on the
naked back of it's victim, and the sharp
borders cut into the flesh like knives.
The executioner does not then lift the
knout: he draws it horizontally toward
him. and in so doing the hook detaches
long strips of flesh from the lacerated
back Should the executioner perform
his task conscientiously, the victim
usually swoons away after the third
stroke, and often dies under the fifth.
Peter the Great fixed by an ''ukase" the
maximum number of strokes at 101,
and when that number was really in
ficted it was usually upon a dead body,
since it is next to impossible for hui
man being to survive more than twenty
honest strokes of the knout. Therefore,
it is very rare for the regulation num-
Der of strokes to be inflicted, unless
with intent to kill.-Chicago Journal
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
SWiNDLING DRUGGISTS.
How They Work Of Their Own CONGO
lions Upon the Public.

How They Work OFF Their Own Concoc-
tions Upon the Public.
In an address before the recent meet
ing of the National Editorial associa-
ton at st. Paul attention was called by
A. Frank Richardson, of New York
city, to an abuse widely practiced by
retail druggists the country over, and
in an interview with Mr.. Richardson he
dilated at some length upon the same
subject. He heartily condemned the
retail druggists for their frequent and
deliberate substitution of some I'M
known and oftentimes worthless arti-
Gle for one which has become house
hold word and of unquestionablem merit.
The dealer always calls attention to
something just as good, occasionally
stating that he is out of the remedy called
for, but can furnish a splendid substi-
tute." People have no idea how extern
sively this deception is practiced, said
Mr. Richardson, and he did not hesitate to
term it petty swindling. Popular and eff.
fcacious remedies possess merit and are
advertised to the extent of hundreds of
thousands of dollars. Millions are in
vested in the manufacture of them.
Public attention is called to them and
they are in demand. And in the face
of all of this the druggist offers some
thing lust as good" The evil of this
practice to the purchaser lies in the fact
that he is induced to use something
which is either worthless or injurious.
Very often the druggist foists his own
preparations upon the customer. Mr..
Richardson firmly believes in acquaint-
ing the public with all the nefarious de-
tails of this substitution system, be-
1ieving that then the purchaser will in
sist upon the article he cares for and
refuse to accept the article the dealer
wishes to bstitute.-Chicago Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
OPINIONS AND POINTERS.

THE one word from Blaine which
would show him to be out of the run
ming for the presidency is not yet pro-
duced.-N. Y. World.
The growing republican DISPOSE
ton to spell reciprocity with a big R
and protection with a lower case p is a
feature of the Ohio canvass which dis
turbs Major Mckinley.-A Argus.
The more familiar the American
people become with the Mckinley law,
the more determined they are to rele-
gate to the background the party that
is responsible for its passage.-N. 0.
Delta.
There is movement among re-
publican politicians to revive the force
bill as an issue in 1892. The general
desire of the workers in that party
seems to be to discuss anything rather
than the Mckinley bill. - Chicago
Times
The contemplated raid on the
national treasury vault at Washington,
which has just been unearthed, was no
doubt the work of some of the Reed
congress who have discovered that they
went away and left something.-llli-
nOiS State Register
1t is a small matter for "a billion
dollar country that the estimates for
the sugar bounty have been exceeded
bv several millions. What was de-
signed by the statesmen who substl-
tuted the direct bounty for the indirect
tariff favor was that the surplus should
not be a factor in the coming presiden-
tial campaign. They have dissipated
the surplus, and with It their reason
able hope of ever again handling the
government funds.-Chicago Times.
When a republican orator in Ohio
or anywhere else undertakes to rate
his party as the ''honest money party,
it will be well to call his attention to
declaration made by the repub-
licans of Harrison's own state In their
convention of 1890. The declaration
was as follows: '.Ex-President Cleve-
land by messages to Congress strongly
opposed all legislation favorable to
silver coinage, and the law recently
enacted was passed in spite of per-
sistent democratic opposition. Under
its ben eficent influence silver has rap
idly approached the gold standard OF
value, farm products are advan ing In
price and commerce is feeling the inn
pulse of increased prosperity. 1t will
add more than $50, 900, 600 annually
of sound currency to the amount in
circulation among the people and is
long, prudent step toward free COIN
EN-. Y. TimeA
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27

DotiN WAS E)ledSeu. DOCn w 1nklo
and Della Deplaine were quite popular;
therefore there was no demurriDg, I'M
less it was among the young men, who
felt it little because they would be
unable to waylay Wrinkle between the
church and the depot and make him
properly celebrate.
The BRIDES toilet is generally con.
sidered a far more important item at a
fashionable wedding than the bride
groom's, but in this case it was diff
terent.
Not that Wrinkle INDUCED in any
thing especially fancy upon this occa-
sion. His suit was the conventional
black, but, like Samson. the point
where he came out strong was his hair.
When at length he was arrayed he
looked himself over in his dressing
glass and voted the reflection perfect.
all but the hair; that was too long.
1T will have to be cut" he decided
''The barber is only across the street.
I'll run over this minute
You'll have to hurry, them put in
his sister Belle, who was trotting in
and out of his room in her stylish
bridesmaids costume. 1.-THE carriages
are coming, and it lacks but half an
hour of the appointed time"
''Tll get there, never fear" cried
Wrinkle, slipping on an old coat and hat
and making a rush for the BARRIERS,
where, fortunately, he found the art
list unengaged.
Cut my HAIR quick.'' he cried,
breathlessly.
Clippers smiled little slyly and set
his machine so that the stubble on all
parts of Wrinkles head was less than
the thousandth part of an inch in
length when he sprang before the glass
to admire himself.
Worse than all, the pure white cuti-
Gle which covered Wrinkles skull was
several shades whittier than that which
was spread over his features.
"You son of Africa shouted Win
kie. in rage, ''what did you cut my
hair like that for?''
''Yoa ordained me to cut it to the
quick, sah,' replied Clippers, show
closer widout I'd skinned your skull,
sah.''
Wrinkle couldn't wait to kill him lust
then. but with an I'll see You later
feeling in his breast he made for the
street. where ne encountered one
his friends on the way to the wedding
Got your hair cut?" he asked, with
a grin.
Its none of your business if have, 5"
retorted Wrinkle.
Belle had just entered one of the car
riages to be driven to the brides resi-
dence, as he reached the door.
We'll, now, 1 rather think you've
got your hair cut" she said, and
laughed outright.
I've got Il right to get my hair cut
for all of you, l guess" he returned,
savagely.
Winklereid's pet bantam was stand
ing upon the walk as he fastened up to
the steps.
He kicked at her angrily.
She sprang agilely aside.
''Got your hair cut! Got your hair
sut!' she cackled. shrilly.
Wrinkle made dive at his pet pullet,
intending to devote enough time to her
to divest her of her plumage at the very
least, but his foot slipped upon bit of
ice and he fell and struck his face upon
the corner of a step and almost drove
his nasal organ up into his brain.
He audibly groaned as he picked him
self up, and the driver of the waiting
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
AN UNLIMITED GUEST.
story of Early Times in Northern wis

A story of Early Times in Northern wis
consin.
A semi-tragic incident occurred at a
pioneer dinner party at Green Bay,
Wis, in the early days of this century.
Charles Reaume was an disqualification
of the old adage of a rolling stone. !"
He could never stick to one place or one
thing any length of time He led an
easy, happv-go-lucky life, and IN the
course of his wanderings went to Green
Bay, where he did little trading.
One day Reaume invited John Porlier,
Laurent FLY and three other men to
dine with him, and arranged a really
nice little dinner for them. The prin-
cipal dish was pe-we-ta-gah, composed
of dried venison finely pounded, and
cooked in maple sugar and bears oil,
and it was regarded as a most appetite
ing dish.
As Reaume was seating his guests
about the table, a@half-breed, Anna BILE
Chevalier, made his appearance. He
looked the table over and then slyly re-
marked that there were not plates
enough, as he saw none for himself.
''You won't see any plate for you at
my table" Reaume grufay answered.
The half-breed already owed Reaume
a grudge, and his quick temper taking
affront at this reply, he seized the OPP
portunity to be revenged.
''Sho Won't I?'' he answered, scorn-
fully, and in an instant snatched
Reaume's red cap from his head and
laid it On the table.
''Here's my plate he cried. and he
plunged both hands into the pe-we-ta-
gah, scooped out mess and flung it into
the cap
Reaume was as quick as he, for the
next moment the capful of hot venison
stew was dashed into Amable's face.
The half breed retaliated by scooping
up another handful from the dish and
finging it full in Reaume's face.
The two men then grappled with each
other and fought furiously. They rolled
over and over upon the floor, each try
ing for the advantage.
| Scenes of this kind were not so very
infrequent then, and for a time the
guests contented themselves with
watching the contest; but when the
halt-breed tried to stab his opponent
they interfered between the angry com
| batants and sent Amable on his way.
Matters we're soon set to rights, and
| the dinner proceeded merrily, despite
| it's unlucky beginning. youths Com
| panion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27

WHAT ARE YOU GLAZING AT ME FOR!
Wrinkle, throwing off his hat and over
coat, and starting at once for the ALTA
! where the clergyman was waiting.
To say that this spirited cntranc.
created sensation is not putting it too
strongly.
When he turned towards the bride,
| who, leaning upon her fathers arm,
and surrounded by six beautiful girls,
| was coming up the aisle, every pair of
| eyes in the audience was turned to-
wards him, and every mouth which was
| not stuffed with handkerchief was
| audibly smiling.
Mr.. Deplaine stopped within few
feet of the bridegroom and stared.
That is not the man, he calculated
whats that you say?" crisply re-
torted Wrinkle. Don't be a fool
Pardon him, he had been greatly
a cent from his father-in-law, who was
SO saving, it was said. that he used the
wart on the back of his neck for a col
lar button.
''This-this person is inebriated,'
continued Mr.. Deplaine. "Send for an
officer quick q.
V.
"Where is Winkie?"
"Why, l am Wrinkle. Della, don't
you know me?" walled Wrinkle
why, can it possibly be you?''
whimpered the bride what is the
matter with your. face, and what have
you got your hair done up fore"
Wrinkle put his hand to the back of
his head, and for the first time discov-
cred the Greek knot.
He seized it fiercely, and shook out
the long hair of which it was composed,
and then tore the wig by force from
his head.
Old Deplaine grew purple in the face.
Drunk. by Jover' he said, and
started himself for policeman.
His departure was the signal for an
uproar. Everybody laughed-nay, they
shouted, and the young men stamped
and whistled.
The shocked clergyman recovered
his senses and escorted the bride and
her maidens into the little sitting-room
behind the church.
Tom Hawkins, who was Wrinkles
best friend, and who acted as usher,
hustled Wrinkle in after them.
Then there was an explanation.
Il understand it ALL" sobbed Della,
when Wrinkle had stopped talking
''But papa is so angry that he will
never let us be married now"
Lets be married right here, before
he gets back" sugg ested Winkie.
They acted upon the suggestion, and
when MIR. Deplaine came into the front
door with the officer. the bridal party
stepped out of the side door into the
carriages, and away upon their we'd
ding trip
Mr.. De PLANE was obliged to subside
but it will be long time before
Wrinkles wedding will be forgotten
Sara 3. Rose, in Arkansaw Traveller.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1891-08-27
THE PARTY OF THE PEOPLE.
Democratic Methods Approved by Pro-
pressiye Americans.


gressive Americans.
That the democratic party is essential
| ly the party of the people has been
shown in various ways, by the enact
ment of popular measures, by judi
cious economy in administration, and
| by furthering such new reforms as
may benefit the people. 1t has on two
notable occasions voiced a prevailing
public sentiment which is likely to
| take practical shape in time in con-
| stitutional amendment, the election of
| United States senators directly by the
| people. Gen. Palmer was nominated
| for senator at the democratic state
| convention of Illinois, and to the firm
stand taken by that convention is
| largely due the election of such a ster-
ling democrat, The Maryland demo-
cratic convention took like course in
unanimously nominating Senator Cor
man for the position he now so ably
fills. In both cases the sentiment of the
| party in very important direction was
| clearly and unequivocally expressed,
| and no excuse left for legislative deals
or auctions. BY this means the demo
cratic party avoids what might prove q
source of scandal and bitterness. The
I Legislative auction which in many
states precedes the election of a United
| States senator is one of the most OBJ
noxious features of our political sys-
| tenn. A state conven ton is much near
er the people than the average legis-
| lature, and in the absence of such de-
| sirable reform as the direct election of
senator's, this democratic plan of a
nomination in convention is a most adj
mirable one. Had it been tried in this
state some years ago, Mr.. Evarts or
| Mr.. Hiscocll would never have gone to
! Washington. Neither would Quay or
/ Cameron have succeeded in Pennsyl-
vania without a hard struggle. The
democratic method is deadly blow at
the Infamous Legislative auction, and
should be demanded by the people in
| every instance.-Albany Argus.