davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
FUNNY FELLOWS FANCIEs.

CholIy-I wondah how Gawge ever MAN.
| ages to keep his twousers nicely pwessed?
Chappie-You fawget Gwage weighs nearly 200
| pounds.-Ne,o York IsIe0rum.
He failed in everything, they say,
And poorer grew from day to day,
But did not sit him down bewaIlng
Because he had not won success
He entered into business
And now he's growing rich by falling.
-Ne1o York Press.
Clergyman Cooking at the contribution
boxes)-Judging from the nickels and pennies, you
must have thought when asked you to remember
the poor that recollection would do well as COL
lection.-Detriot Free Press.
Arch Imp-I'm getting tired of this sum-
mer resort; think I'll sell out to younger man.
Ordinary Devil-Haye you any successor in
mind?
knows much about my methods as L do myself
Neao FORK Herald.
"Papa," inquired johnny, who was por-
ing over the horror column of a borrowed newsps-
per, lis it q very bad accident when man has his
ear cut off9''
(which ear?'' said Mr.. skinnphlint.
1.-The right ear;
..It isl answered Mr. skinnphIint, with en-
phasis. 'Ifa businessman should lose his right
ear Johnny he would have to buy pen-rack.--
Chicago Tribune.
Tom (at hotel table, Please pass the but
ter, Maria.
Maria-Ask the waiter. I would look pretty,
wouldn't l. getting up and going to the other end
of the table for ity
Tom-Hand somel
And she did.-DetToit Free Press.
"AhP' said the mosquito in greatest glee,
ST never can tell what I'm going to be
With the coming of the morning light.
Twas Dutch last eve when the dark began
But now I'm q full-blooded Irfshman.
For dined on lad from Cork last night
-Chtcd0o Herald.
Wentman-Don't you think Daggitt is
becoming lately?
weeks-Yes; and the role of ass is quite be-
coming to Daggitt.-6e'o York 1sle0rom.
"What a change there is in Jack Brown.
Not long ago he was the quietest and most sedate
young man In town. now he is one of the fastest;
goes TO every horse race, prize fight. chicken
tournament and so forth that take place."
.It's all owing to Minnie Flasher. Jack heard
that she was fond of sports, so he became one.''-
Nes0 Iork Press.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
ADVENTURES AND FUN.

Short Stories Of Travel and Sport = III
Timed Coffee at Sea-Why the Shooting
Didn't Stop - Remarkable Snake
Fight and the End.
In Mrs. Coils narrative of her voyage
through the inland seas of the Sitlzan Archi-
pelago, says the Youths Companion, she de-
scribes a somewhat exciting passage
through a fleet of icebergs in Glacier Bay.
1t was of the greatest importance to keep
the ship moving ahead, though her advance
could be measured only by inches. At one
time the Captain ran halfway up the fore
mast, glasses in hand, and for some minutes,
like thepicture of Farragut in Mobile Bay,
shouted his orders to the wheelhouse.
After this he resumed his monotonous and
nervous pacing upon the bridge, all the while
steering his immense vessel with such dex-
terity and mathematical precision that as
the cakes of ice were upturned and fell
gracefully in our wake, it was easy to see
that the course selected was always the one
of least resistance.
'T took note or q few Of the expressions
whose magnetic influence twisted and
turned us around in such beautiful curves,
some of which were; "Starboard, sir"
"slow her!'' "Why don't he slow her when
I tell htm?" "Stop herr '"Go tell that en-
gineer if he don't obey the signals quicker;
these boys in his engine room!' "Hard-a-
port, sir!' "Port her!' STEADY, now!''
Keep your eye on the compass therer'
"Put an extra man at the wheeli'
In the midst of this strain, when the
slightest error of Judgment might have been
fraught with disaster, the chief stewnrd.it
was his first voyage with Captain Carroll
was seen ascending the ladder with bowl
of steaming coffee.
"I've brought you cup of coffee, i" said the
steward, with outstretched hand.
"Take it away, sir! When want coffee
I'll send for It," shouted the skipper.
What became of the steward don't know;
but do know that few scraps of sentences
were floating about the atmosphere for sew
eral ties, such as:
''Nice time for coffee! Port her! Steadyl
Pretty time to be drinking coffee! Starboard
a littleI Coffee, indeed! Slow her, sir! Slow
her, l say! Coffee!''
:. 1t is proper to add, however, that afew
hours later the poor affrighted stewardwas
addressed in different language.
"I'n take that coffee now, steward, but
don't ever bother me again when I've got
my hands full"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
A Snake Tbat Kn.v His Business.

The Crawford, Ga, Herald attributes to a
delegate to the Baptist Association at Craw-
fordlast fall the following snake story:
He and his uncle were sitting by creek
side in the State of Kentucky, fishing, and
were surprised by seeing black snake dash
out of thicket, and running to weed
standing near them, bite o leaf from it and
quickly return. This he did several times,
when, their curiosity being excited, they
followed him to see what he meant by such
strange conduct, and found him engaged in
q fearful fight with a moccasin several times
his own size. As often as his antagonist sue
ceeded in biting him he ran to the weed for
his anttdote, and was at him again. At
length the uncle pulled up and removed the
weed to see what the snake would do. He
soon came again, and finding his remedy
perfect picture of despair, and fell stone
dead on the spot. The moccasin, already
badly disabled, they dispatched.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

'eNo man who wilfully violates the Con-
stitution of the State of Pennsylvania ought
to hold the position of President of the
Pennsylvania State League of Republican
Clubs" says the Philadelphia Press. Very
true Nor should the man who declared on
the floor of the Legislature that he would
not support the Constitution of the State be
permitted to successfully carry through its
stages his scheme for Constitutional Con-
yention to wipe out the Constitution pro-
visions that hamper the politicians and cor
porations.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
Why Chief Biee1ox Is Happy.

The work of clearing the Allegheny wharf,
as required by order of court, was begun by
Chief Bigelow's men Tuesday. 1t will prob
ably require month to complete the job,
but it can easily be done in the time, so days,
allowed by the court.
at would have taken much longer" said
Mr. Bigelow yesterday, 'but the Lord in his
goodness caused nearly all the earth we had
put there to be washed away by the flood
last February"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

fense of country by body of soldiers
who decline to be "driven" to the extent
of obeying orders, and reserve the right of
review and private judgment as to the
hours when they shall assemble, and the
rights by which they shall move, is calcu-
lated to exhaust even the German En-
peror's copious vocabulary Of objurgation.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

THE New York Evening Sun in an article
urging the cultivation of f1st-fghting among
boys, builds its argument on the dictum:
s.Many budding ruffian ought thus to get
the early toughness hammered out of him
and himself be licked into manliness." But
the satisfactory conclusion of this logic of
force is sadly marred by the presumption
that the budding ruffian will lick the other
fellow. The principle underlying the fist
fight is that might makes right" and that
is also the principle of ruffianism.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

AN official of the Citizens Traction road
is reported in an evening Contemporary as
saying to a reporter that it was mo business
of the public" how many guards his COM
pany employed for the protection of street
crossings. An answer like this at time
when the public and the municipal authori-
ties are considering means for preventing
distressing accidents is more frigid than yes
terday's weather, but not particularly dis
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

The explosion, with fatal results, of a
built up gun on an English war ship, is be-
ginning to raise the question whether those
great and costly engines of war, which can
not hardly be fired often enough to get the
crews in training without becoming as
dangerous at the breach as at the muzzle, are
not. like the King of Prussias grenadiers,
entirely too costly to be of any use.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

musical director. Instructors-W. H. Sher-
wood, piano; @. V. Flagler, harmony; organ,
Mr.. L. 5. Leason; harmony and choral union,
Mr.. J. Harry Wheeler; Mr.. h. A. Kefess,
piano. and this list does not include the
teachers of many of the special courses like
painting wood carving, china painting, etc.
oil itu
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

THE already excessive harvest of deaths
by drowning at sea-coast watering places is
producing some grave warnings to the effect
that people should not go near the water
till they have learned to swim. More per-
tinent advice would be that people should
not place too much reliance on the adver-
tisements of seaside hotel proprietors of
"the safest surf bathing on the coast"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

Mr. INGALLS, latest lecture refers to
"the irrepressible reformer who earns a
livelihood by the perspiration of his jaw"
The difference between this obnoxious in
dividual and Mr.. Ingalls, seems to be that
the latter is not a reformer and that he is
temporarily repressible when political
cyclone strikes him.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

1t is satisfactory indication of learning
by experience that some of the traction
companies yesterday enforced the rule of
coming to halt before reaching the cross
ings. This, when done without waiting for
the impending ordinance on the subject,
was an evidence that the companies adopt
ing it are disposed to take every precaution
against accident. Those that are not so dis
posed should be made to do 80.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
All the Same in Pittsburg.

Chicago T1mes.I
My, my! here's Englewood all torn up
again over the rascalities of another pious
Young man who led Sunday schools and
robbed his employer. The good, credulous
people of the fashionable suburb ought to
equip themselves with sheep shears and try
and expose some of these ravening wolves
who 60 about in their midst disguised in the
soft f1eeces of good little lambs.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
A GREAT BIBLE CONFERENCE.
Students From This Country, Canada and
England to Meet in Convention.

England to Meet in Convention.
ESPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE DIsPArcH.1
LoCKPoRr, N. Y, July s.-The fifteenth In
ternational Bible Conference meets on the
grounds of the Queens Royal Hotel at Mag
ara-on- the Lake tomorrow. There are al
ready present some 800 delegates from all
over Canada, the United States and Eng
land Prominent Bible students will con-
duct the studies.
The sessions last eight days and are held
in a large pavilion overlooking Lake On
tario, the Niagara riverand old Fort Niagara
on the opposite shore. The Bible is studied
from a purely theological standpoint.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
PRINCE GEORGE RE-EMBARKS.
Failing to Return Home on the Servfa, He
Sets Sail on the City of New York.

Sets Sail on the City of New York.
NEW YORK, July s.-Prince George, of
Greece, and his party, on their return to this
city last night after their unsuccessful at
tempt to get to Europe on the Cunard line
steamer Servia, secured passage on the In
man line steamer City of New York and
sailed on her at o'clock this morning.
There were in all 80 of the Servia's passen-
gers on board the City of New York, and
five who had sailed on the Servia made q
second start this morning on the White Star
line Britannia.
A very large number of Americans who
sailed on the Servia for a summer trip to
Europe have abandoned their purpose and
will return home.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

BISHOP A. CLEVELAND COKE adheres to
the opinion that bicycling by women is
ridiculous as well as immodest." Never
theless, woman on a bicycle is not more
ridiculous sight nor does it involve a more
deplorable exposure than a Bishop on a
hobby, and an exceedingly lame hobby at
IL,
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE.
John Crane.

John Crane died at Stockholm, N. j.,
last Monday. He was born in 1so9 and had been
away from home but twice In his life. Once he
went to Hackensack to pay a tax, and once to Pat
erson lust before the Civil War. He had never
seen horse car, railroad, or the ocean, and
never rode in spring wagon. He always lived on
the products of his farm, and never sold par
ticie of what he raised. Any superfuity of vege-
tables he gave to the poor. He was the father of
last illness he had sick day in his life, and
he died as he had lived, quietly and painlessly.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
Obituary Notes.

JAMES RUNcIMAN. the London litterateur, is
dead.
CHRISTIAN MEIsKEY, the wealthiest farmer in
Southeastern Pennsylvania died Monday, in his
75th wear at West Hempfeld. He was worth nearly
81, 600, 0C0
GEORGE E. CORNER, one of the founders of the
Black Heath Art Club, London, and professor in
the Royal Military Academy, died Tuesday of con-
sumption, at Colorado Springs.
PHILIP V. MAUS, who died Monday at Danville
Pa. was the son of Joseph Maus, Captain under
Washington at Valley Forge. He was miller.
and very rich. He was 81 years old.
BABY DIEM. the child actress, is dead at her
home in Buffalo. She had been on the stage three
seasons. and last fall she played in the 'Karl's
Promise" troupe. She was regarded as promis-
ing player.
DIR, JOHN LEvENGooD who died in Lancaster,
Monday. was prominent Odd Fellow. In 1877 he
was Grand Master of the Grand Lodge, and in 1888
was Chief Patriarch of the Grand Encampment.
He was writer of Odd Fellow literature over the
pen name of Isaac Irons.' He was 66 years old.
DoLLIE HAMILTON, an actress well known in the
West, died in Chicago several days ago. She went
on the stage in her childhood, and had at various
times supported Edwin Booth. Jefferson, T.. A.
Sothern. James O,Neill, and other actors. She
latferiy acquired some note 15psy in Uncle
Tom CABIN Her right name was Stridiron.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
That Makes 1t All Right.

Boston Herald.1
The kissing of Wales by Wilhelm was all
right. 1t is as much custom in Germany
for a fellow to kiss another as it is in this
country for a fellow to kiss another fellows
sister.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

dream heard him say: 'That was an awful
load this fellow had, but he'll be sober when
he wakes"
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

THE Democratic and Harrison organs are
busily convincing themselves that Blaine is
dangerously i'll. Next year they may make
the discovery that he is dangerously we'll.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
Aunt Sally Cannon.

Aunt Sally Cannon, probably the oldest
woman in Connecticut, died at her home, New
Haven, Monday. She celebrated her 1O1st birthday
last March, and at that time was in excellent
health being able to walk unassisted and to read
without glasses. She was born in Wallingford,
Conn and lived there all her life until the death of
her husband 80 years ago, when she came to reside
with her son, William r. Cannon, of New York.
she was one of the few people living who had seen
Lafayette and other Revolutionary dignitaries.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
The Army of West Virginia Reunion.

HUNTINpToN, July a-The Society of the
Army of West Virginia has fixed on septem-
Der Is, 16 and II, at Huntington, for the an
nual reunion.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09

Mr.. MILLS withdrawal from the Speaker
ship race is keeping company with MI
Cleyeland's withdra wal from the Presidential
field
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.

POSTAGE FREE N TIE UNITED STATES.
DAILY DISPATCH, One Year CO
0LTTv OIsPATCH Per Quarter .............. 2 90
Many DISPATCH. One Month ............... 20
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, wear 10 90
DAILY DISPATCH, Including Sunday, IN tbs. 50
DAILY DISPATCH, including Sunday, l 'th.. 50
SUNDAY DISPATCH, One Yeara-.---.--....---.. 80
WEEKLY DISPATCH, One Year j .
THE DAILY DISPATCH is delivered by carriers at
Is cents per week. or including Sunday Edition, at
sOcents per week.
Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-07-09
Instructors in Teachers Retreat.

Chautauqua Teachers Retreat-F. W.
Parker, Chicago, Principal. Instructors
William S. Jackman, Cook County, Normal
School, Engelwood, I'LL; Prof J. I. Edwards,
William NJ Griffin, Cook County Normal
SCHOOL,; Sarah E. Griswold, Cook County
Normal School; Prof. w. d. McClintock.
Wells College, Aurora, New York; Helen
Maley, Cook County Normal School; Francis
w. Parker Cook County Normal School:
Frank Stuart Parker, Cook County Normal
School.
School of Physical Culture-W. G. Ander-
son, NJ. D., Principal. Instructors--W.G An
derson, Adelphi Academy, Brooklyn; H. S.
Anderson, Adelphi Academy; Mrs. c. b.
Bishop, Washington, D. e; Anna D. Bishop,
Chester, Pa; Eliza M. Mosher, Brooklyn:
Mary Murphy, Swathinore College, Pa; R. E.
Nelligan Cornell.
University Gymnasium; W. Seaver,
Yale University gymnasium; T. G. Sherman,
Hill School, Pottsdam, Pa.
Chautauqua School of Music-H R. Palmer,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1891-10-06
WEST SUMNER.

SATURDAY. oct. ~, u d.cislcd on for
our town fair. a week earlier than a yraf
ago.
Capt. u. VI. small and wife arr doml-
cllr,l In Mr.. ileald's house Ga our Joy.
Ml.s Bryant, IL Bethel, u nurse Tor
Mr.. D,a. }. D.. berry, Who continues Ia
fall.
MR.. Gilman Heath l. on the sick llsi,
ai.o Mr.. Cory Bonney.
Guy Heath, Herbert iicaih's little son,
VA. brought home from West Fan. sew
cral day. ago aud l. considered slowly
Improving.
September has graclously rewarded
tho.s Who had confidence In II by giving
the most superb weather ever known,
fairly routing the expected clulnoctial
gale, by which the cyclone all around
vas probably csus.'l, only .llghtiy fell
here.
T.. Bi.hee and wife ~ Canton made
"a fylng visit n few DAYS since.
Mr.. Charles Crockett Il AZ .llb.riNillc,
wl-r, her son. Frank llsbe., !. reported
very sick.
south Buckheld'. Kind wl.he. are
thankfully received.
Mr.. Gcotge Porter, travelling agent fc'
a.. y. Harvey 4 Co, saratoga, y. " u
again Ia town.
Homer y. Chase, 81 Auburn, IL al
George r.. Pulslfcr's on q business and
pleasure trip combined.
Mrs. Cory Bonncy after being sick bu'
day died IL neuralgia Of the heart
October LIT.
Mr.. and Mrs. Doble were summoned
"a south psri. again on Sunday because
of the sickness of their daughters baby
Girl
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1891-10-06
plckvAlg.

r.E. KIdder died Monday nigh, Of
paulysl.. Funeral to-day, (Wednes-
day) under the auspices Of the Canton
Lodge, I. ~. q. y. Dixheld members OF
the order will attend the obsequies. Mr.
kidder was an energetic farmer aud man
of bushes. and will b. missed In this
community. lie leaves wife and two
children. We are told he carried
heavy life Insurance. 4.
Mrs. Hall stlll lives with mo- chance OF
recovery.
Mrs. Wyman IL conyalescing as fast az
could bc expected for one 80 slck at such
a great age.
Elder Gammon and lady, Dea. wyman
aud m. y. stillman and lady have gone
20 the State Free Baptist Association
which meets Ia Portland, this week.
Croolediy "inclined twigs" warped
and twisted, Il may be, by unfavoraole
condition. or adverse circumstances
bat they bullded on good .,raight-grain-
ed lumber later when they got chance
to .traighien up. Gilbert, you are try
Ing to give humanity chance Va
..tralghten up" We believe; don't dwell
too long on the knotty start, but give
credit for good clear stun, u IL happens
10 grow over a gnarly Interior, aud there
will be less twisted twigs by aud by.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1891-10-06
SQUIRE sucsgislp.

IN. New York Democratic State con-
y,niIon was paradox. The delegate.
cane thru. Ia one for Hill a. agains,
Cleveland for President. Flower Mas
the nominee for Governor. Flower snd
nm are both silver men, y.t the con'en-
lion declared against free silver. W sue
c..>fal this fall Gov. Flower may be the
Democrats standard bearer nexi year.
N. heard a person .sy that he dreamed
a. ..w the .oul 81 a certain other per-
lou '.and Il VA. .o black" In some OF
the realm. ~ the spirit land the soaI 81
man, the disemhodiei spirit, VIII be
seen az IN. material form IL seen herr.
How does your soul look IL II fuii OF
deceit aud hypocrisy, envy aud malice
TOW ard. your neighbour III so you nave
not the religion of Christ whatever may
be your professions. Som. men Az. :"
| charitable toward. their own sins Their
, ain. ar, shlter than other mems sins
m. word. Of the Christian Bible are
nl.in and distinct. There IL no respect
Of persons with God"
| Your yillag, correspondent IN SPEAK
Ing ~ the Adjustment OF the distriet
.y.,em of schools In Buckhela says !:
.No one seem. sorry for the change,
our peopl. might be deprived OF their
autonomy, Of all their yestci and lnd'-
yIdual right. and IL might BE- aid, "No
an. .sem. sorry for the change. Ihe
change of school systems but illustrate.
the tendency % the age, the trend oi
events. One By one the sovereign people,
ali Internationally, are surrendering ths
old landmarks, the sacred rights coniidei
to them 10 h. administered for their good
aud the good Of Succeeding generations.
What .hall stay the hand of monopoly
,nd Capitalization In our landi
our winter terms Of school all com.
mems. the fret Of October. Who shall
educate the poor farmer boy who In the
autumn months IL busy doing farm
work. A..
Annie MAude Tuitle IL 10 teach the
fall term In the Chase District. Miss
Tuttle has that charm Of manner thai
SECURES the good Will OF her poP's ~
we'll "A those Of an older growth.
". are trading cows DOW every aay
AN likewise IL our double at the Mis-
we hear.
We do not mention horses or coit'
without compensation, please do no'
ask us.
We expect To be at Paris at the October
Iterm Of court.