The morning call., 1891-11-08
DELIGHTS OF
MARRIED LIFE.
A Quiet Confidential FAX Inconvenience
Of Marrying a Whole Family.
A Doctor Who Does Not Drink, but Prescribes
Brandy-A Lawyer Who Loses His Cases
and Offers Family Excuses.
Special for The SUNDAY GALL.

the Madeleine, unable to decide to quit each
other. They were college friends who
| had met again after a long separ-
alton and, having INDUCED in su-
| perb little dinner, were evoking the
recolections of their youth. joyous phan-
toms that succeeded each other uninter-
ruptedly. The words "Do you remem-
Der?" were heard every instant, and the
| pasSers-by who stared at the two friends en-
| We'd their sincere gayety and the happy air
| of their countenances. Meanwhile time was
| passing and Dubonmel, drawing out his
| watch, exclaimed:
Two o'clock already Saprist! What
| will my wife say? All! my dear boy. you did
| well not to get married."
'Iudeed! answered Canneux, 81 was
| thinking of entering the grand regiment,
too"
Delay, delay as long as possible. my
| friend, If you value your liberty. There's a
| little comfort about married life at first.
grant, but then what worriment. what cares,
| what vexationp'
You are unhappy then?" interrupted
| Canneux
Not at all. | have the most charming
wife on this earth. children | adore and who
adore me, but it's the family, do you see, the
You did not marry the whole family,
did you?"
FAMILY TROUBLES.
| No! But l owe its members some con-
| sheraton, and ! submit to them, my
dear fellow I'm give you an idea of it.
| My wife's brother is a physician, and
| physician of talent. | dare say; you can
readily understand that my wife wont
have any other doctor for our children, for
| herself and for me. Well he is a specialist;
he treats all his patients with brandy. 1t is
! lulOtIp Is
| that he cures them"
"Well?"
well, | have a horror of those people
whose minds are made up He has never
been able to tell me why brandy is beuef-
elal. Note we'll that he uses il on all ncca
sions for every disease If / catch cold he
puts me on diet of warm grog;
If my children have had Indigestion lie
| gives them homeopathic doses! He con-
Stantly thrusts brandy everywhere-in our
| wine to impart tone to it, our sauces to
give them body-I employ his EXPRESSIONS
IN the herb teas, in everything. And
what irritates me is that when we are taking
| coffee II offer him a small glass Of cOgnac
lie refuses 1.-THE never takes alcohol he tells
NE. and if l insist, Thank you; | am not
| sick" 1t is exasperatinzv'
Il don't consider that great misfortune"
certainly n0tl Setting aside his pecu-
lIarlty. he is charming man. kind to fault
and full OF wit, but his fixed ideas diSgusts
| me-l can't stand i'll His system is idiotic.
am convinced that he don't believe in it
| himself, but IL succeeds and lie sticks to it.
| therefore no argument is possible; L bring
| up AZ ainst stern fact, and what can't be
| explained makes me jump. Thence spring
tormentS, slight quaIrels, pin prcks, as it
were, that are not exactly wounds, but il
| repeated"
Come, come, don't get angryu'
THE wIFE's COUSIN.
IT'S the same thing with my wifeS
cousin; lie is lawyer. He has already
lost three lawsuits for us; in spite of
this, whenever we have any legal mat
ter on hand my wife wont hear of en-
| trusting our affairs to any one but him.
| On, certainly, he does not lack talent;
on the contrary, he has quite a name at
the bar but when | reproach him with his
want OF success IN our business he says TO
| us: What is the matter with you? You
had no case whatever l took charge of
| the suit because | am a member of the fam
| lily, but l knew that it was lost in advanced
lmbecile. would much prefer that he were
not member of the family and had gained
| it,"
Nevertheless, It seems to me-"
My father-n-law is a stock-broker.
Certainly II any one could lead ME into good
| operations at the Bourse it should be he
Well, so far this year | have lost more than
| $4,000 francs, which don't prevent him, I'M
der the pretext that he has partners from
collecting his commissions just the same as
| II | had made money, and from demanding
|
lati0ns to he p.tless"
what do you desire2 If your father-in-
law"
ITO say nothing of the fact that am de-
priyed OF the right of having another stock
| broker to turn my stocks to some account.
| Oh my wife would raise some wild scenes
for me If did sol She has, besides, ideas
of her own that fully indicate tine narrow
mndedness of the province in which she
| was brought up. Has she not brought to
| a had
and familiar peasant, who breaks everything
and has never yet succeeded in cooking a
single dish TO our satisfaction She's
honest that's true. That's the excuse
my wife makes to me. But | can find n
host OF others more capable and fully as
honest and besides one is not bound to
those people; when they displease you they
are changed at once"
| "Oi course, of course"
THE wIFE's KINDNESS.
"Ah, ii were even to hint OF sending off
my servant, what a scene I'd have with my
wife. my good friend. what scene, Not
that my wife treats me badly; on the con-
trary, she is too kind She has made ne
take into my Offices one of her young
nephews, full of good WILL but absolutely
OF no use to me; that is to saw. / dismissed
one OF my old clerks in order that | might
give him the place | must admit that he
don't acquit himself too badly. and in the
main I'm satisfied with him. Well, when
l informed my wife of my satisfaction at
the work OF her protege, did she not ask ME
to raise his salary? She is bankrupting
me, my friend, she is bankrupting me-"
Come, come, you exaggerated
And nave not told you all. One of our
first cousins married butcher. OF course
my wife fastened to give him her custom
HIS meat Is excellent; we have to pay a
high price for it, but it Is good"
Then p
DICTATED TO IN THE MATTER OF TASTE.
| hun mn Ao,,r a II.
private life is no longer ours Why, here are
people allied to our family who know what
| we eat, what we receive, what we prefer.
Sometimes even they give us advice, some
thlng detest! Thus, recently. l wanted a
| leg OF salt-mead0w mutton; under the pre-
text that it was out Of season the butcher q b.
| sClutely refused 10 furnish us with one
was compelled TO eat veal, excellent veal,
indeed, but can't abide being dictated to
| IN the matter of taste. That time | got
angry. ! said to my wife: Since our cousin
won't let us have a leg Of mutton we will
buy one Of somebody else and eat IL to-mor-
row.. My wife seemed vexed, but did not
reply. The following day | had a leg of
mutton. 1t was eXecrabie Our cousin was
right, but that was not the question !; lie had
been asked to furnish the leg of mutton, and
lie ought to have furnished It, Such little
vexatlons make the calmest people angry"
On the whole don't see that YOU have
anything to be unhappy about"
Certainly not! am not unhappy in the
exact sense of the word but | am crossed
from morning to night. Once a month we
receive all our relatives. l do not
condemn this custom that tghtens
the family bands, but my relatives
nv own, L mean-nevcr attend; they live
in the country. | therefore receive only
those of my wife. Well, on such occasions
am in most bloodthirsty humor. Why ?
Because have the air OF stranger in my
own house. All those people seem perfectly
at home.
They eat like ogres, drink like Poles,
laugh, sing, criticize everything, make a
fearful racket, play cards, dance-in short,
amuse themselves as they like, and keep IN e
up until tho wee sma' hours, when it is my
custom to retire early. Sapristi! Half-past
o'clock What will my wife sayP Well, l
must go now. Adieu. Come and see me
and, II you take my advice, don't get mar
riedP'
Therenpon Dubonmel gave his friend
l hand Q