The Columbus journal., 1891-10-28
NAP. SQUASH MITT0X.

NAP. SQUASH MlTTOX.
The Mittox family was well known
I'm Nashville. Tennessee. No MittOx
was ever a great man, even when
great men were so scarce that fair
ability passed for wonderful powers.
Old Dave MittOX was a general sup
ply store merchant. and it is said that
he got his start by making s%pccialtics
of mink skins and gun fiints. Dave
had only one son, a bright but woe
fully lazy fellow, whom everybody
called Squash. The old man rcbcllcd
for a time against this nickname, but
finally adopted it and, doubtless, in
after years, really forgot that his
sons name was Napoleon. Squash
was distinguished for one thing
cOwardice. He was so rank a coward
that he would suffer any sort of indig-
nifty without Offering to raise his hand
in defense. His reputation grew I'M
til it appeared that every boy in the
community wanted to make a few
passes at him. Boys were not ad-
mitted into s.sOciety" until they could
produce evidence of a requisite de-
pravity and then show that they
could whip Squash Mittox.
One day a school girl met Squash in
the road. She was weeping as though
a sharp pain had caught up with her.
s.What are you crying about, little
girl?" asked Squash.
'Cryin' because l amt a boy"
ssWhat do you want to be a boy
for?:"
$50 I could whip somebody"
s'Well, I'm a boy and l amt never
whipped anybody"
"You must be Squash Mittox,
then?"
eyes, that's who I am"
Swell, l believe I'll thrash you
right here" and she didlet in on him
she whipped him until his cries ar
rested the attention of a man and III
ran to the place of punishment, but
when he saw that it was some ont
simply beating Squash MittOx h
begged the girls pardon and hastil!
strobe away. And it was Away
thus. No one seemed to think that
cruelty was practised when blows fel
upon Squash.
The coward was an apt scholar, ant
he easily distanced all rivals, but, o
course, he suffered for it. He used t
carry a notebook in his pocket il
which to enter the name of new a.
pirants that came to whip him. Ono
when he had been jerked from tn
straight path that led to Sunday
school and had been severely beaten
he took out his book and said:
evil you please Obligc me wit
your name?:"
"YOu bet l will. My name is Jill
Toby, and don't you forget that
wallOped you goin' and COMM"
81 won't forget it," Squash re
piled.
swell, see that you don't"
s'This book will G to that"
"What, you putin my name dow
SO you can have me arrested?"
81 don't want to have you or any
body else arrested. Not one of tn
hundreds of fellows that hay
thumped me has ever been snatche
up by the law"
''That's all right. You better M
have me arrested, l can tell you tha'
I'd beat you in good fashion theI
sure enough"
s'Say, will you care if I ask you
question:"
81 reckon not. Fire away"
ssWell, 1 would like to know VIII
you wanted to whip me? I never di
you any harm-never saw you unit
to-day"
"It's about this way, l reckon:
heard that all the boys had whippe
you, and as we have just moved hel
l thought I'd have to take a hant
too, or 1 couldn't get along with IL
boys"
Thus the years passed until the W:
came on. When the scream of tt
fife and the boom of the drum mao
the peaceful air tremblc-whe
bright uniforms took the place of IL
dull garb of trade-yOung MittO
now nearly twenty years old, ke]
away from places of war preparation
He shuddered at the sight Of a gu
"What's the matter with you?" h
father n day exclaimed. "Wh;
are you slipping around this W;
fOr?"
because 1 heard that the State
going to draft men into the army?"'
'SSuppOSe it is true; what them"
"WeN, it's hull out with me-"
"What! haven't you got PATRIOTS
enough to fight for your State?"
"sWell, I never had patrOtis
enough to fight for myself, and it
quite natural that l should think
much of myself as 1 do of my Stat
I don't see what the State has do
for me in any way. Nearly every b
in the State has whaled me, and not
| ing was said about it, and now tn
the State is in trouble, she'll have
; take care of herself"
: s'You are no son Of mine:" the Q
man shouted.
81 am sure I don't know as
that"
ssYou coward!" the old man rave
"Ah, / do know as to that"
The young man turned away a
J was skulking about in a neighbO
garden. when a voice called:
"Helloa, Squash"
"HOw are you, Miss Nellie" t
young man replied, bowling to a you
lady who approached from a SUNNI
house.
squash, I want to talk to you
minute"
"All right"
"I'm awfully sorry 1 whipped y
in the road thatday a long time az
"Don't let that worry you.
doesn't hurt now"
sOh, of course, itdon't hurt nov
she laughed. 81 was an awful To
boy in those days and somebodyou
to have worn me out"
"Your day will come yet, prObabl.
sqNh M am fOO old tn whin M