, 1891-04-16
A LECTURE ON WIDOWS.
A POLICEMAN CONTROVERTs mR
WELLER'S FAMOUS REMARK.

Husband. and Have Lived Happny-A
Question That Ruined the Sergeant.
II was five minutes past I on Sunday
morning in the Thirtieth street station
house Captain Reilly was fast asleep in
ht, room restoring iu sweet slumber the
wear and tear of the Arion festival. ana
Sergeant Oliver Tins, the scholar. leaned
back Ia his ehuIr behind the desk, put the
tips Of his fingers together. and cast his
eyes up 10 the ceiling after the manner Of
the stained glass saints ia church Windows,
and began TO ponder.
The interesting thing about the situn-
ton was that the hour Of rosa. III. on sun
dAy Is the time that the police of Captain
Reilly'7 command all couoede is properly
devoted TO pouderiug by all true philuso-
pliers and 30, by common consent, nobody
iuterfcrrs with Sergeant Tins when he
lean back Ia his chair at thl, particular
hour every Sunday and gives himself up
TO thought.
When the sergeant had looked at the
ceiling for ten minute a young man with
an elongated brown overcoRt aud an En-
glish setter t~rotting at his heels opened the
door Of the station and gave the police
philosopher a wished for opportunity to
make public the substance Of his peaceful
and enlightened reflections. The rudy
chcekedserEeant fairly beamed with smiles,
and he fired of the thoughts instantly in
the following surprising fashion:
II DISSERTATION
9Th pages Of history glow with ~eulogies
81 widows, my boy. Have you ever re-
Elected uppn the Instructive fact that some
OF the most famous men Of the world have
married widowsf There was King Charles
XII and Frederick the Great and Admiral
Nelson, and the FIRST Napoleon and George
Washington and Lord B~eacousneld aud
ever so many more noted for their genius
and for those attributes that fit men to be
leaders OF their fellow men"
The sergeant stopped TO take breath. and
the setter sat on her Launches and gazed
at him with - sort Of fascination and tried
10 get through the railing to shake hands
with him.
&'Ihcn you don't agree with the late Mr..
w ellcrf' yentured the young man with
the elongated brown uvercoat.
What the man who said, 'Samivel, be
WIRE u the viddrrs!' " exclaimed the ser
gcaut, with disapprobation. No, my boy,
/ do not agree with Mr. Weller. lie was
wrong. all wrong
To what do you attribute the choice Of
the great men you have named" asked
the young man. 'There were plenty Of
mnideus around in those days as now"
81 ascrtbed the selection OF widows by
these brilliant men TO their superior intel
ltgence. They were men Of rare good iudg
ment, and they reasoned that the women
whom they chose understood men and
we're already trained ia the management
OF homes. They were men. you see, who
did not care TO run any risks Of the matri.
monial lottery. which ! may be permitted
to describe simply as marriage with women
who have never been married before
A ri QUESTION SOLVED.
The widows wh.m Nelson and Napo.
leon and Washington and the other great
men married had already earned an hon.
orable fame as excellent wives, and there
could therefore be no chance Of disappoint-
ment In wedding them. And you will oil.
serve, II You examine the pages Of history.
that they made most admirable wives to
their second husbands, just as they were
devoted and useful to their first. As the
pursuit Of happiness is one Of the chief
ends Of man, according to tho Declaration
Of Independence aBd common sense, and As
a well considered marriage is a sure road
to happiness, therefore It follows, don't
you see, my boy, that to marry a widow
who has proved her ability to make a good
wife is the best policy to pursue in the
pursuit of happiness and will quickest
yield the result sought for"
The police orator rubbed his hands to-
gcthcr, and the setter gave a delightful
bark. Very good, and very elegantly
put, said the young man in the elongated
oycrcuHt But, - and he leaned over the
railing and his voice grew solemn, III all
the men who believe in marriage as an in
~tltutiou are to marry widows Mr.. Tins.
Ia is TO become Of the maidensp You
surely wouldn't deprive them Of a show
The studious sergeant sat bolt upright
with a start. He scratched his head and
looked up at the ceiling. He had struck a
snaE in the suggestion Of the young man
with the setter.
True, very true" he muttered. Let
me see. now. What could we do with the
muidens'' Then his face Frightened again.
Il have it. Let them marry and become
widows, Of course, and then they will be in
the field all right" lie leaned back in the
chair once more with that air Of s~atisfac-
ton that marks the man who has tri.
Nrphed over an obstacle.
A NEW QUESTION.
Just then the station door opened and
two weeping women came in and walked
up to the railing, They were boil dressed
Ia black
well, ladies'. what's the matter, What
can do for pour" the sergeant asked in
a kindly tone. \ very curious look came
into his face when one Of the women, be
tween her subs, told her story. Boiled
down TO facts il was this.
"A year ago ! married a man who had
lost his wife the year before. was a wild
ow. He has turned out 10 he a very wick.
ed man. lie beats me and has Just driven
me out of the house, and / want him ar
rested"
The sergeant directed the woman to 60
10 Jefferson market and get a warrant Tor
the arrest OF the pertidious widower, aud
wheeled around with his back to the rail.
ing and stared hard at the wall.
Sergeant ventured the young man
with the overcOat, after u long and painful
silence, this incident reminds me that
you haven't tnld what rule is to be applied
by women who think OF taking husbands.
Is the Weller injunction TO be changed to
,Samivel, beware Of the yiddervers,' or
is'-
Young man, exclaimed the sergeant
sternly, wheeling around and cutting the
int]errogations abruptly short. this sym
postum is ended. Sufficient unto the
night is one proposition for philosophic
rumination. I'm going to be very busy
now. Good morning New York sun.
some OF thr ancient superstitions are
very pleasing and In the highest degree
poetic There Is a sUperstitious belief
prevalent in the east that e~clipses OF the
moon are caused by a demon who, out of
the malice Of his nature, anlicts the queen
Of the stars. And GU these occasions the
inhabitants leave their dwellings. and by
bounding upol pans and pots. and shout
ls ana dischargtug firearms. endelvor to
A'l the monster away from his work
TW ENTV nnII 20, o1p-Es