The record-union., 1891-11-21

vicious, excite in me sympathetic pity,
which is not entirely devoid of love; but
even this regard cannot blind my percep-
ton TO the fact that women are not per-
feet; though 1 scarcely know whether
to class with faults or misfortunes their
siavishness or devotion to the tyrant,
or deity, Fashion.
Whether fault, or misfortune. it is the
source of absurdities SO great that can
ind no comparison for them. What
would you think of men who would lace
themselves SO tight that they could
scarcely breathe, just to appear small
wasted? or elevate themselves with
spindles under their heels-like those of
ladies' shoes-until they could hardly re-
OF their coats with hoops? or daub their
faces with paint and powder to better
their compilations? or wear the skirts of
their coats so long that they would drag
on the dirty sidewalks or muddy streets,
from inches to yards?
know that you would look upon
such men with disrespect, without con-
slderlng The fact that such practices by
women are just as ridiculous as they
would be If practiced by men.
am aware that some of these fash
ions are obsolete, and if ridicule could
obliterate them so thoroughly that they
could never be resuscitated, think ridi-
cule would be as worthy of dedication as
the lntidels god, Reason.
But there is one fashion which is not
obsolete, which is so palpably barbarous
that [ am sure beautiful Mother Eve, in
the generosity of her loving heart, must
have refrained from eating her fair share
OF the fruit Of the tree of knowledge be-
fore she gave the balance to Father
Adam; for otherwise the refinement re-
sultlng from increase of knowledge
would have caused its extirpation long
ago; and that is the cruel fashion of
boring holes in the ears, and hanging
weights in them.
IF L possessed talent sufficient to
write this one relic of barbarism out of
civilized society, [ should feel that | had
not lived or labored in vain, and l would
be willing to pull every feather out of the
tail of the American eagle in order to OBJ
tain quilIs TO make into pens wherewith
10 write; and am sure that every sens
IDLE man, and every emancipafed woman,
would honor the noble bob-tailed bird tor
having surrendered his magnificent eau
dai appendant TO advance so perceptibly
the glorious cause of liberty and freedom
over which he SO proudly presides.
Oh womani beautiful, lovely woman!
Remember that you are the gem which
man enshrines in his heart, and with
love. and reverence, and gratitude to God
Tor the gift, cherishes it as the brightest
ornament to earth! Your dress is but the
casket Of the real jewel; make it con-
ducive to your comfort, if possible, and
you will be no less charming; and, if it
pleases you, adorn it with diamonds, and
rubleS, and emeralds, and pearls, set in
brooches, and buckles, and pins, and
rings, but don't MAIN or mar Gods
handlwork, yOur-persons Z"
L glanced furtively at Tryphena to see
how my words affected her, and she was
blushing, for she had her ears pierced
when she was an irresponsible schoolgirl.
Poor child My heart bleeds now at the
thought OF the cruelty practiced on her
then; but she has never hung any weights
in her ears since she was Mrs. Crank.
OLD CRANK