Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-09-26

When the cricle. sings.
M. F. CAREY.
MIR. AND MRS. BOwsERL
Lots Of Things Happen, but It's Always Mrs
BOwser's Fault
N Quad id New York World.
Mrs. Bowser," solemnly began Mr.. Bowser
a. he came home to dinner the other evening.
what did l say to you when left the house
this morning2"
"You said it looked like rain" she answered.
Il said it would rain before night, and it has
I'm wet to the hide"
That's too bad"
''Too bad And whose fault is it? Ny mind
was occupied with business affairs and you
knew it was, and yet you saw me walk of with
out an umbrella. Mrs. Bowser, -
why, you took your umbrella along" she
interrupted.
'Neverr
"Of course you did! Don't You remember
dropping it at the gate? You walked right out
81 did, eh? Why don't you call me first.
class idiot and be done with it :"
You must have done SO, for you surely car
ried it away with you"
That's exactly what he did do. and he knew
bet her million dollars to a cent that the front
door had been left wide open all the afternoon
and that hall thief had carried of half the
stuff down stairs.
One morning there was smell of gas down
cellar and Mr.. Bowser went down to see if he
could discover leak. He put on an old hat
kept for 'poking around" and when he left
the house he wore it away. 1t was rusty and
spotted and broken, and it was only when the
boys down town began to shoot that hat" that
"a lAd 10 hov hA a. l. L
his eyes hanging out and his face Of q plum
color. and he was no sooner ins,de the door
than he shouted:
Look ct it, Mrs. Bowser-look at that in
fernal old junk shop which you deliberately
q word about i'll"
did you wear that hat down townY'
IBID l! DID y. he shouted, as he banged 1t
on the floor and jumped on il.
But didn't see you 90. was upstairs
absent-minded.
81 am, Ell? lisa wonder that don't forget
to come home, isn't it? Mrs. Bowser, if there
is another house in the United States Is badly
mismanaged as this r. like to see it,"
but can you blame me because you wore
your old hat away?" she protested.
That's it-thats 1t! Shoulder it of on me
The papers talk about the startling number Of
divorces. It's wonder to me there are not
i've times as many!'
corkscrew, which some fakir had sold him, and
Mrs. Bowser saw him drop it into wall pocket.
week later after wandering around the house
for half an hour one evening he halted before
her and said:
I'm be hanged if I don't get some chains
and padlocks and see il can't have things
left where put them"
What is it nowY'
MRS. BowsER, I'VE BEEN ROBBED
II brought home q can opener a few DAYS
| ago and left it on bracket in the dining room.
It's gone, OF course-probably given away to
some big, lazy tramp! It's 9 wonder we have
a thing left in this housed"
"A can opener"
eyes, a can opener. II you never heard of
can opener I'll hire some one to write YOU o. out
| history of it. 1t was invented to open cans.
why. we have two or three in the kitchen.
Do you mean a can openerY''
II don't mean wind mills or threshing ma
chimes"
You had it in pink paper9"
"Yes, maam."
'It was.'
well. saw you drop it in that wall pocket,
and it is u corkscrew, and not can opener"
1T is, eh? Perhaps don't know a hitchiuz
post from the city hall" he growled as he
| reached for the parcel and unroled it. 1t was
a corkscrew. 1t could only be used as a cork
screw. 1t was made and sold for corkscrew.
..
Tell me what! Told me it was a corkscrsw,
and it's can opener, just as I said 1t wasI'
''Itsa corkscrew!'
cts a can opener!'
And as long as Mr.. Bowser draws the breath
of life he will stick to it, because he said SO in
the first place.
Like other husbands Mr. Bowser ia greatly
worried over the safety Of his wallet while
around the house. He has an idea that Mrs.
BOwser would give ten years of her life to pet
that wallet in her hands for about two minutes.
and that she lies awake good share Of every
| night in the year wondering where he hid il
when he went to bed. He makes 1t religious
duty to conceal it every night and to count
over has funds the first thing in the morning
One morning, strange as it may seem, he left
the house without taking his wallet, which he
had hidden the night before under the bureau.
lie had been gone about an hour when there
was great ciatter on the front steps, the door
flew open and he rushed into the bach parlor
and stood before Mrs Bowser. II
She was 20 upset that she could only family
gasp;
Mother dead y he yelled in reply: "vhat do
know about your mother Mrs Bowser, rye
been robbed!'
MOP
"And in my own house 1t that! Some time
during the night !, some one got out Of bed aud
Impossible! Was II in your coatss
well, no-nos exactly. For fear Of burglars
"You wh.sr' shs asked, ~ he hesiassd and
looked confused. =
He rushed upstairs and she followed him In
time to zee him pull the wallet from under the
dresser. :. = 80"
''Fhen you were not robbsd2" she tarsly OBJ
served. -ar.---
"N-no-not quite; not this time. But let
this be . great moral Lesson to You. Mrs..
Bowser-never 10 NEEDLE with my Wallet
That's something no husband win put m
with" - $50 3 =. - - ~
II never touched your old wallstr'
And sec that you mover dol And dou't
talk back. Mrs. Bower. You have had . very
marrow escape, and You ought to be thankful
for livery thankful Some husbands would
have raised . row; but think you under
lost on y0u."
Gen. II. v. Boynton, the wsil-known Wssh-
ington correspondent has written an article on
The Press and Public Men, " which vill appear
in Tie ostobss Csssssy.