Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1891-02-05
TEA-TABLE SALAD

NeWs.
sANso-"Why don't YOU wear
Gle in each eye?" Dude-"Aw = 4 t2l
must see, doncherknow." - Mp lel
Weekly.
PAssENGER-"I this ticket coo,
stop Off" Conductor-''Yes'm SIN 'oq
it wont be good to git on again .
York Weekly. \
IT is minated that Editor Fado.
applying himself to the inventionc
device for squeezing water ont ~
road stocks.-kansas City Star. Y
QUESTIONABLE PRAIsF.-Comnoso,
ais friend-"Well, how do you like |
sonata?" "My dear fellow, no one \
ever play it after you. Hiegeade ri
ter.
FATHER If you expect to succooa
public life, my son, you must ba
push" Son-"I've got pull. dad u" y
that's better than push. "-Boaton T'j
script.
"LooK at the crowd around the corn
What's the matter ?" Baggs-"O notI
ing, only a policeman killed by an a"
dental discharge of duty. "-Har~o
L0mp0on.
Mr.. DE RICHIE Ito friend to Whom
is exhibiting his new picture gallery
"There What do you think Of
those pictures, and all done by bandI
-Hegeade Bl8tter.
go, WHAT beauty !" she cried rant
ously, as he handed her magDjfrI
rose. eyes," he said sadly, an And
lean beauty-cost a dollar and on5
ter. - Washington Star.
GUsHLEY-'Did you ever. like N
poet, stand on the bridge at midnipbtl
Rounder-"No, but Ive often stood
a bobtail flush at about that time of /
evening. "-Nelc York Herald.
81 THOUGHT you were going to have
cupola on your house" 81 hay1|
"Where is it," "In the cellar
looked SO badly on the roof took il /
and made eoal-bin of it"-HarpA
B0zar.
IDA LEWIS, the heroine of the NewpA
lighthouse, has been offered a chanH
to go on the stage, to appear in a Ii
saving scene. She prefers working il
lighthouse to playing in light houses
NorristoaUn Herald.
IT is strange how man will hims
admit that be is a fool, yet if any d
else tells him SO he will get hoppH
mad right awav-Boston Herald.
H1Low-"Now, look here, BID
bumper, I wouldn't be fool if 1--we
you" Bloobumper-"No, if you weI
1, you wouldn't be fool. "-Epoch
WooL-"How do you 90 to work
tell the age of a hem" Van Pelt-"
the teeth" Wool-"A hen hasn't
teeth, you idiot" "No, but | have.
Harper's Bazar.
Mr.. GAZZAM Ito his son)-"WeN,H
hear that Browns boy threshed u
soundly and that you took your punEa
ment meekly." Young Gazzam-" $40
it, did I? Not much! He gave it
me. "-Drake's Magazine.
SHABBY Parsonage addressing an
LADY, Please, mum, will we give md
few cints fur breakfast" Old lady lSter
ly)-"No, sir. You've been drinking
S. P" Faith, an is that any raison "
| shouldn't ate"-Harrayd Lamp0Oa.
Mrs. PADsBY Coming forward
prayer meeting and addressing pasta
my husban' wanted me to expa
that he amt laughin' at your remarl
He got his new teeth in upside doV
an can't get them reversed Til he
outside. "--Judge.
WHEN there is no hawk flying arou
hn HI tho ho inward H.
strut of the smallest Iooster.-AtchY
Globe.
cit don't pay to be kind to pets, "'s
Johnny. 81 filled the goldfish globe
with milk one day, and the fish
died. "-Hdrper's BG9dr.
WHEN society whispers, you can
it's whispering i'll of some one; when
speaks good of any one it uses no
distance trump et.-&. Joseph Ne@S'
NAOLBY--"She is very rich. DO
suppose he had a tender feeling
her ?" Hooks-"Of course, of courSePE
legal-tender feeling. "-NeW York III
aid.
TEAcIIER-"Tommy, will you give
example of tautology? Tommy
one in our paper this morning
spoke of 'brainless dude. '''-I'0"
dpOis Neus.
''Is there a stationery store in town N
asked a visitor at Kansas hotel
sir" replied the clerk, as he sho0A !.
head; "this town is in the cyclone Oe"
-Hdrper's Bdzdr. l..
SUGGEST a motto for my new Oua
ness venture, will you, Miss Agnes
what is the business" a H ua
farm" "Then suppose youtake Lea
well alone. "-The Jester.
In India little girls wear gold rlnss
their noses. One of the adYanlIase,,
this fashion consists in the tact tna'
ring wearer does not have to laAVT
her gloves to parade her JeWeIry'-
as Siftings.
"DEM1-TRA1N," he exclaimed as
stepped on 1T and fell over 1t IN WV ooi
three places. "But it isn't, she 90. ."
unconscious of his profanity, ana pav'
ly, for it was her first long go"'
Washington Star. IA
A TRIFLE INcoNsEQuENT.-" " ha .nd.
price of that set of shirt st bicb
''$2. 1000" "But is that not very n .Ein
"You think so? What do you til nj
then, of the present high price u r
visions ?'-FEieqe1ade Bl8tter. .,or
THOROUGHLY PosTED.-Clgar, yea" a VI
Eyes, l want a boy here. i HsnIT i
had any experience ?" 1outnl ubon
plicant-"Lots." "Suppose, l ' hnre
p,iv ~, +bo ,or;,o ,,,orlrc in these w"