Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1891-11-12
BADGERS PICTURE.

DO you remember Badgers Dig picture
Of "A Nihilist Conspiracy" in the 1885
academy? 1t was one Of the pictures Of
the year. By CAD, sir, that was pic
ture! 1t fetched everybody, did "A
Nihilist Conspiracy" Then came the
order for the Conversations a1Burling-
ton House," and then, of course, his for
tune was made, and Badger became an
A. r. A. Badger, A. r. A., cuts me
how. l used to know him very well;
we were both members of the Goose
club. OF course that isn't the right
name Of our club-the real name is the
Swan but we are always called the
Goose club, you know, and there are all
sorts Of mysterious reasons alleged for it.
Splitter, who is professional wit, and
earns very precarious living by it, and
Is not member Of the Goose club
mean the Swan-declares that it's be-
cause all our members who are dramatists
invariably get the goose; that, in the
vile, common slang Of the stage, means
that their productions are always hissed.
have been told to my face, sir, by that
beast Grinner, also a professional wit
ling, and whom we decline to elect to the
Goose club mean the Swan-because
h. wasn't qualified, for we are all spon-
taneous wits at our dear old place-that
It's because all our geese are swans, and
we swans are all geese. know the real
reason, and I've got it down in my re-
ininiscences, and when / die they'll be
published, and you can buy copy. and
then you'll find it out.
But to come back to Badgers magnum
opus. | gave him the tp-I mean the
valuable hint I'm always giving people
good advice, and they're seldom, very
seldom, grateful for it,
why don't you do nihilist picture?"
said to Badger one day; "everybody's
mad on nihilism just now. You've only
got to read up Stepniak and make your
nihilists ugly enough, and its bound to
be big thing" And then I stroked my
long gray beard (my beard is my great
| feature, you know. I've got a rather
low forehead, but then the ancients ad-
| mired low foreheads-tenui fronte, Hor-
ace. Ha, ha!
You'd make capital nihilist," said
| Badger.
gave him one of my scathing glances,
and i saw that the young fellow was
sorry for his impertinence. And then
the matter dropped.
The next thing / heard was that Bad.
ger was going to immortalize the Goose
club-that he had determined to paint
picture of the thirty most celebrated
members. Badger became suddenly pop
ular.
Dear old man." he said to me, II
want you to sit"
was delighted. l only sat for the
face, you know, and / was in the very
center Of tho picture. Badger selected
twenty-nine other victims. The like.
nesses were wonderful. The members
actually fought for the honor Of sitting
| to Badger, and then he shut himself up
in his studio, and denied himself to
everybody on the pretense of putting in
the figures. There wasn't one Of us who
had the least doubt that the great pic
| ture of the Goose club would become as
celebrated as Terburgs masterpiece,
"The Congress Of Munster" We felt
by we mean the happy thirty-that we
were already immortal; we felt that
Badger would hand us down to posterity
as representative lights of literature
science and art. We'd have done any.
thing for Badger at that time. Wei
and the other twenty-nine immortals-
were continually calling on Badger; but
we never could get sight of of the pic.
ture; he was invariably not at home.
And then dreadful rumor ran about
the Goose club.
Pugwash, the sculptor, came back
from st. Petersburg, where he had been
executing commission, and he told us
that Badger had painted one Of us out
and had painted him in. Wei mean
the original thirty-endured weeks Of
agony till the academy private view
We couldn't get anything out Of Pug.
wash; he declared that he was sworn to
secrecy; be even pretended that he didn't
really know which Of us was the-well,
| Peri at the gate-for he swore that the
picture was covered up mysteriously
with clothes, merely leaving an opening
In which his head was inserted. How
we all envied Pugwash! He, at least,
was certain of immortality.
| But was determined TO ascertain the
truth at once. Directly the hanging
committee at Burlington House COM
menced its labors, l called on every
rcademician and associate knew. They
none OF them could tell me anything
about the Goose club picture. You see,
in the ordinary course Of things, Badger
would have exhibited his great picture
on Show Sunday, month before the
opening Of the academy. He didn't, sir;
our agony was prolonged until the very
| last moment.
was thereby there, mean at Bur-
lngton house-the instant the doors
opened for the private view. had
ticket, you know, Of oourse-I always
have. / almost snatched the gratuitous
catalogue with which / was presented
by one of the gorgeous gentlemen in the
scarlet gowns, who resemble lord chief
justices or doctors Of music Of the Uni
versity of Oxford--at least, they do at
the private views; TO the general public
on ordinary occadons they are only COM
mon doorkeepers Ialmost snatched the
catalogue, / say, and with rembling fin