davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
His Views.

The traveller stood looking at the glories
of Yosemite for the first time. He had
journeyed 5000 miles to see the wonderful
valley. Before him in solemn grandeur
rose the Cathedral Rock, the Three Broth
ers and the Sentinel Dome. The Bridal
Veil falls, dissolving in feathery mist as
the waters descended the tremendous
precipice, lit up with varied tints the SOM
Der majesty of the scene, while Ell Captain,
mighty, overpowering, unapproachable,
seemed to frown sternly over all. The
traveller became conscious he was not alone
At his side, apparently lost in wonder
stood stranger looking at the marvellous
scene.
He addressed the stranger.
is not this stupendous?"
The stranger bowed his head, as if he felt
the inability of words to describe his
emotions.
do you think" pursued the traveller,
"that this terrific gorge was caused By
some titanic upheaval from below? Or is
it the result of glacial action? What are
your views, if any, as to"-
my views" blandly interposed the
stranger, opening a valise he carried in his
hand, 'are only $3.50 dozen and cheap at
twice the money. Permit me to show you
few samples. Chicago Tribune.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
coNsoLep AT LAST.
He pidnst Like the East, but He Got
Satisfaction.

He Didn't Like the East, but He Got
Satisfaction.
He came up to me as | stood eating roast
Ell chestnuts in Blocker street, and alter
a remark about the weather he led off with:
'Sayl Is there any place in this town
where felIer can be made to feel at homer"
"That's according TO the Teller"
"well, a Teller like me. Say: I've been
here a whole week today, and this town
makes me tired. thought Teller could
have heap o. fun here, but he can't. It's
inst big old town without any ruffles or
lace trimming You been here longw
"About six months"
"Come from the west?"
"Yes,"
"And you are living yeti Well, / swami
Sayl Don't you miss something here
don't you miss that hilarious, good natured.
ness Of the great and glorious westp
'How do You mean?"
"Howf Why, man. I'd give ten dollar
bill for the privilege Of walking up to
somebody and slapping him on the back
and asking him TO go and take nip with
mel Pm just aching to call somebody old
man. and to find place where all the boys
get together in the evening and lie about
how many Injuns they've killed, and how
cold 1t was up in the mountains last win
ter. How do you manage to stand itY
ooh, get along all right"
But I'll bet it worries you; of course it
does. But you've lost two pounds week
since you came here. Sayl You don't
know Of any such place as l spoke Of, do
your"
81 can't say that | do"
II expect not. People altogether differ
ent, you know. Have to keep restraint
on themselves all the time, | suppose.
Landsl but how / would like to stand out
on the corner and yell just oneel Will you
back me up IL | do?"
II wouldn't try it If l were you"
NO don't dare to. / suppose it would
start a riot. Sayl You are from the
westW
eyes"
"Shakel You probably pulled pop and
killed somebody out west and dasn't go
back. That's why you are here; that's why
you stay. Feel mighty sorry for you old
man. If there's anything | can do let me
know"
II don't think of anything"
"Well, do Sayl / know you are just
dying for that hilarious freedom of the
great west You look as lonesome as a
coyote forty miles from home Turn
around and purtend not to see me-"
"What are you going to do2"
Bring the glad old days back to you fur
about a minute-make you think you've
taken sudden fly back to old Montana.
Stand STILL Now, then whoopel old man
let's licker''
He brought the fat of his right hand
in, fc,1
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
He addressed the stranger.
Changed the Subject.

One of the most difficult things to do
gracefully is to change the current of I'M
pleasant conversation, but the small boy
can do it if circumstances make it neces-
sary
Thomas, will you please tell me why
you pulled up the onions from my Dan
vers onion bed? How many times have
told you to keep away from the garden?"
Thomas grew red in the face, and his
grandfather went on to depict the evil fate
that was sure to befall boys who went
around destroying what their elders had
planted.
Meantime, Thomas had pulled himself
together, and as the harangue was CON
cluded he said, with smile, referring to
an event of the previous week:
'Pity our old rooster died, wasn't it,
grandpaY Youths Companion.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
MS MISTAKE.
There Il Such Thing AS Funny Man
Being Too Funny.

There IL Such Thing a Funny Man
Being Too Funny.
The early riser was out watering his
grass when the funny man came along and
stepped on the hose.
The early riser turned around to see
what had shut off the water so suddenly.
and the funny man laughed at hin1.
Get off that hcsep' exclaimed the early
user.
ooh, don't mind me-" said the funny
man. go on and water your grass"
Then he noticed that the nozzle was care
iessly pointed in his direction.
"Here Point that the other wayp' he
cried
The early riser glanced down at the noz
xle and his face lit up with pleasure.
Amusing 10 shut off a mans water.
isn't it2" he asked.
But, my dear SIR" expostulated the
funny man. II didn't'--
Its intensely funny" said the early
riser; you'd better get OF that hose"
"But | can't" said the funny man.
Don't you see the nozzle's pointed right at
me, and If | do"---
'Oh, well, Pm in no hurry" interrupted
the early riser. IF you enjoy it | don't
know that have any reason to object"
He sat down on the railing surrounding
his grass plat and rested the nozzle on his
knee, still keeping it pointed toward the
funny man.
81 say" said the latter, "if you'll turn
that the other way I'll get off,"
"Oh, | wouldn't put you to so much
trouble" said the early riser Enjoy
yourself"
The early riser held the nozzle between
IL. .t.sI h.
st. The funny man watched him puff it
for moment Then he said.
"See here. old man. my legs getting
stiff"
"Why don't you shift legsp" asked the
early riser disinterestedly.
The funny man tried It, made a slip and
the stream almost reached him before he
could get his foot on the hose again The
early riser chuckled.
Say, Pll break your headp' cried the
funny man excitediy.
"All right" returned the early riser
carelessly. But be careful or you may
slip off the hose again"
The funny man glared at the early riser
moment and then said;
IF were as mean as you are I'd 90 into
the pawnbrokers' business"
IF were as funny as you are," said the
early riser as he leisurely pulled his cigar,
"I'd hire out to a burlesque company"
The funny man tried to walk along the
hose to get farther away from the nozzle,
but the water spurted out little with
each step and he stopped. Then he got
desperate, stepped off, and started to run.
The stream caught him in the middle of
the back.
When he got out of range he turned and
shook his fist at the impassve early riser
and made some terrible threats.
And the early riser muttered as he began
watering the grass again:
Sunny that a funny man can't take
Joke on himself. o-Chicago Tribune.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

1t is cheerful to note a prospect that
the pope and the French republic can
make up their differences and effect a
reconciliation on terms satisfactory to
both. Those who claim to be well In
formed declare that his holiness dis
approves of antirepublican agitation
among the Catholics of France, and be
desires them to cease it and become
faithful subjects of the republic. At the
same time the French government has
signified its desire to be on good terms
with the head of church to which at
least ninety-nine out of hundred of it's
people adhere. If good UNDERESTIMATE
between Leo XIII and the French gov
eminent can be brought about, then the
greatest danger that threatens the re-
public of France-the opposition of the
women and the clergy-will be removed.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
FIN, FEATHER AND FUR.

1t was once believed that hares changed
their sex every year.
Turbot is supposed to be the most pro-
life fish. One Of twenty-eight pounds
weight contained 100000 eggs
A swordfish that weighed $50 pounds
was caught recently by George Wakefield,
keeper of the Cape Porpoise (Me.) light.
Two Florida men killed an alligator and
left it upon The bank. Returning soon after
they found twenty-five alligaSors around
their dead companion, and soon they car
ried him into the water and some distance
from shore.
An army of locusts ten miles wide no
Gently swept over the PuniaD IN India II
occupied five days in passing. Not much
harm was done to crops, however, since
they We're SO far advanced that they could
be harvested before the locusts reached
them.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

"Jchn," said loving wife, II wish you
would sing two or three lines of song to
me-"
"What on earth do you want me to do
that for?"
There is something l want you to bring
home and I've forgotten what it is, but
think Pll remember it if you sing"
The good natured husband complied and
the charming wife said:
Il remember now. It's a file WANT
New York Press
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
Singular.

A fourteen-year-old boy at school wrote
this sentence in an exercise, "Ten men and
four woman" His teacher pointed out to
him the sentence with the remark:
rs it possible that you do not know af-
ter all these years at school that the plural
of woman is women?"
The boy scratched his head in a some
what disconnected way.
Anyway" he said, 'T've often heard
my father say that woman is singular
creature. "-Youth's Companion.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
VARIOUS kgasEs.
A sinsinas Gase'

A Similar Case
Jack, hear that you'va been captured
With q matrimonial nbose;
Doubtless now you feel eArapturod
And old ties will soon cut loose.
was almost inundated
At Bar Harbor last July,
1t was there, think you stated,
You proposed-well. so did L
No doubt you left the others
II the ballroom. for they say
Chaperons and watchful mothers
At such times are in the way.
Then you strolled along together
Underneath the starEt sky:
First you talked about the weather
And the season-so did /.
Then your left hand sought to take herA
Finding it within your reach.
While you listened to the breakers
AS they Numbered on the beach.
After that your heart grew holder
As you saw that none were nigh;
Then you drew her close and told her
That you Loved her-so did l.
All the rest is repetition,
And I'm sure wish you joy
In the change in your condition
I'll accept a card, old boy.
But what makes you look so wilted?
Why that heart devouring sigh?
You don't mean that you were Tilted?
That's good one-so was /.
IF. H. Curtiss in Detroit Free Press
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
The Song of the Horse.

Hurrah for electricity, that saves my tired feet
And wheels, with fleet lubricity, the carsalong
the street,
What wonderful completely of fate and human
brain
Have brought me this felicity of rest from toll
and pain?
Ere long that grim monstrosity, the horse car,
but in song
Will live, nor luminosity provoke in waiting
throng;
No more will domesticity be marred by meals
delayed,
For with swift electricity there1l be no car
blockade.
Then whoop for electricity, the era's drawing
nigh
That equine infelicity may heave a cosmic
sigh
That mans uncurbed ferocity Electra's flank
may goad.
And she, in reciprocity, will yank him DER the
road
With all my lungs capacity, I'd neigh my JOY
equine,
For verbal perspicacity is hardly in my line.
Then give the news publicity, the marvels
come to pass;
Whoop-la for electricity, the horse may go to
grass.
Emile Pickhardt in Boston Globe.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

Colonel Percy Yerger is one Of the most
popular criminal lawyers in Austin. He
,as an immense criminal practice and
Usually succeeds, with slight assistance
rom the jury, in acquitting his clients, no
natter how atrocious their crime or over
rhelming the evidence Of their guilt. Last
Sunday Colonel Yerger's little boy, Tommy,
vas asked by bis Sunday school teacher:
Tommy, the man who is good in this
world goes to heaven, now what becomes
If the bad mes who disobey the laws OF
5od?"
Papa clear lem." was the response
Texas Siftings
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
Really So.

There is no end to fish lying stories. One
comes from Yellowstone Park that it is
possible to land trout from the shore of
one of the noted rivers there and with a
single curve If the wrist to drop the fish
into hot spring. from which it may be
taken in few minutes fully boiled.-New
Orleans Picayuue.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

Mrs. Bunney--I really cannot under
nand how it is that Gayleigh and his wife
30 not get along well together. Every
body, you know, always said that they
we're made for each other
Mr.. Bunney- That doesn't signify. Ny
coat was mad i ne. but it doesn't fit me
worth a cent ;on Transcript.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
SHE CALLS HIM.


The pet of the household knelt as usual
to say his prayers at his mothers side.
"God bless papa and mamma and Uncle
Ed and-and"- here he hesitated.
And Polly" prompted his mother.
Polly was his nurse
"Mal" he cried Indignantly, looking up,
cant l skip Polly? She spanked me to-
day. "-Youth's Companion
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
"The Melancholy Days.

The editors brow is wrapped in gloom;
His leaden eye is full of pain;
And dark forbidden thoughts of doom
Are preying on his tortured brain.
And drear and woebegone his mien;
His locks that once were like the night
May actually now be seen
Their color changing into white.
His shears are deep into the ink,
Deep in the mucilage his pen;
This man of thought will never think
A sane and lucid thought again.
Poor wretch the verses now pour in;
A score days not half the sum;
And all invariably begin,
''The melancholy days have Gomez
Boston Courier,
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
Not Synonymous.

Gentleman ION crowded street cary
What is the difference between manufac-
ture and make?
Second Gentleman--Let me see-it is
Man changing on to rear platform, in
terrupting)-It is this-this street car is
manufactured to seat thirty people, but it
il made to carry fifty or more.-Life.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

"Pa, is poker anything like old maidp"
asked young hopeful.
"No, my son, " responded the father, who
had been there, "but it is good deal like
beggar my neighbor. "-Boston Transcript.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
An Unexpected Answer.

They say girl died down here from
eating ice cream" he said, as they were
passing an ice cream saloon.
She couldn't have had beau like you,
john" she answered Pm safe"
de I'D ited 4er in New York Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
An Unlocked for Danger.

Captain Lovelace How is Miss Nader
mare this mo ming, Miss Katie?
Miss M. is Miss KS chaperone, chosen
for her habit OF invariably and of necessity
remaining below whenever she goes to sea-
Miss Katie-I'm afraid she's little bet
ter this morning.
Captain L.-By Jovel-Fun.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

Snodgrass--Our experimenters have at
last succeeded in attracting the attention
of the people inhabiting Mars
Snively - Indeed? Has any message
passed between that planet and the earths
Snodgrass-Yes; they wanted to know
what the score was.-New York Sun.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
Not Exactly ApproachabIe.

"Do you know General Jenkinss" said
one newspaper man to another.
"Oh, yes"
us he an easy man to approach?"
well, | SHOULD say not. He lives about
six miles out OF 40wn over one of the worst
roads you ever saw. Washington Star
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

A Failure.
More years ago than l shall name.
sought to win good wife's fame,
I knew not how-but all the same
/ made shirt.
cut, stitched, with many a tear;
followed it out, both front and rear:
I carved the armhoes wide, for fear
They wouldn't flt
Johns neck measured to be true
The band must fit-that much knew,
I'd heard so oft. All else drew
And puckered in.
At last twaa DONE A work of art.
Complete, hoped, in every part
Come, john" / called, with quaking heart.
TRY your shirt"
must confess it bulged somewhat
In places where thought t should not
But John, the brute, yelled OUT Great Scottl
Is this tent?"
And such behavior-language, WE'LL
He uttered things I'll never tell
may forget them when dwell
In higher spheres.
Oh, woman of the present day,
To you's inscribed this tiny lay,
You little know the man you pay
Your homage to.
If this true inwardness" you'd know,
Have him your idols overthrow
And sentiment to four winds blow,
Make him a shirt
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
l understand, has been

"Your mother, understand, has been
very i'll, Thomas"
"Yessir"
SIS she mending, ThomasP"
"Mendin? No, indeedyl She said could
go without clothes before she would sew
another burned stitch. life
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

A horseshoe brings good luck to you,
They say. 1t does, of course,
When you are betting and the shoe
Is on the winning horse.
New York Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25
She Has Discarded Gloves.

She Has Discarded Gloves.
She says her hands are never cold,>
That gloves she doesn't need to wear,
And yesterday friend she told
She'd never buy another pair.
IT'S strange to see a maiden gay
The fashion thus behind her fling.
But then she's wearing-so they say
A diamond engagement ring.
New York Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

More Than a Lamb.
He calls his girl his little lamb"
And there the variance lies;
She must be more mature, because
At him she casts sleeps eyes.
New York Herald
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

Brakeman calling station)-Sawyer!
Groom who has just taken a surrep
titious kiss from his extraordinarily
Don't care if you did; we're married.
Life.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-25

Encouragement.
She posed before the camera,
In all her cultured grace;
Each curl was at its curHest,
Each frill was in its place.
She fondly deemed her attitude
A miracle of ease.
Said the fiend behind the camera,
Nov, look intelligent, pleased"
-Roston Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-06-25
CONDENSED NEW s.

Governor Boise was re-nominated by
acclamation by the Iowa Democrats.
The German emperor arrived at Keil
to-day en- route for his visit to England.
Two new antitrust distilleries are be-
ing built in St. Louis and another dstill-
cry doubling its capacity. They propose
to buck the whisky trust.
Attorney General Hunt, OF Illinois, has
commenced suit against the Chicago Live
Stock Exchange. 1t is alleged that it is
doing business illegally.
The collector of customs at Marquette,
Mich, has been instructed to admit duty
free fish caught in Canadian waters by
American fishermen with American
tackle.
An official denial is given to the state
ment that the emperor has demonstrated
with the prince of Wales on the part
which he played in the recent baccarat
scandal.
1t is reported that the vintage of the
Rhine, Moselle and the Palatinate are
complete failures, owing to the severe
and long frosts which prevailed during
the earlier part OF the season. Especially,
it is added, is this the case in the Rhine
cure or Rhine country.
Senator George, of Mississippi, comes
out squarely in favor of the Ocala plat
form, excepting as to the sub treasury
and land.loan features and government
ownership of railroad and telegraph lines.
With these exceptions, he takes advance
grounds in advocacy of the Alliance de.
mands. His letter will cause sensation
throughout the state.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-06-25
The knights and Ohio Politics.

COLUMBUS, o., June 25.-In large club
room of the Neil House, were gathered
this morning the members of the execu-
tive board of the Knights of Labor. With
them were the master workmen and Sec
retaries of the principal 'locals" not only
of this city but of different parts of the
state. The proceedings are being con-
Quoted with closed doors. Right Worthy
Foreman Kavanaugh and others Of the
participants, insisted that the purpose OF
the meeting is simply to take measures
for increasing the strength Of the order
in the Buckeye state, but it is pretty gen.
orally understood that the object is to de-
eide what action, if any, the order should
take in the present political campaign in
Ohio in view Of the refusal of Secretary
Foster to reinstate the Knights of Labor
who some months ago were dismissed
from the bureau of engraving and print
ing.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-06-25
silver as Is Silver,

Col. H. L. Pickett, one Of the fore
most attorneys and business men
of Grant county brings up some rare
samples of ore from the celebrated
Alhambra mine Of which company
he is vice president, and Col. Burchard,
the well-known capitalist of Chicago, is
president. The larger specimen is native
silver weighing about one pound and is
worth from So to 81 per pound. The pay
streak in the mine is from six to eight in.
ches in width and the average quality OF
ore runs away up in the thousands. Prob
ably the richest silver rock ever produced
by New Mexico mine is now being ex-
extracted from the workings of this prop
erty, and the success which has attended
the investment of Chicago capital in this
enterprise will 60 long way toward en-
couraging similar other Investments. The
Alhambra is now employing ten men. 1t
is located in the Blackhawk district,
some eighteen miles southwest of Silver
City. The samples of rich rock above re-
ferred to-day were sent to the company's
principal office at Chicago.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1891-06-25
Poor on Children Parade.

CHICAGO, June 25.-To-day is 'Poor
Chldren's Day" and the waits and poor
children of the city, after a parade through
the principal streets are picnicking at
Jackson park. For the first time in the
history OF the city the day has been dig
lifted by an official proclamation issued
by the mayor commencing the movement
to the support Of the citizens. The par
ade was reviewed this morning by Mayor
Washbourne, Judges Tuttle and Graham
and number of prominent citizens. 1t
was headed by the juvenile band and
base ball nine from Milwaukee, the fifty
piece band and nine of the Detroit Even
ing News and band and nine from st.
Louis. This afternoon at Jackson park !,
Rt. Rev. Bishop Fallows. Rev. DR.. Bliss,
and others, will explain an elaborate
scheme which they have originated by
which 100000 children in the United
States and foreign lands are to be brought
into combination for the purpose of
building a children's pavilion on the
Worlds fair grounds for the exhibition OF
all kinds of work done by children. A
worlds congress of children is also part
of the scheme. Members are to be regis
tered for 10 cents.