Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1891-07-24
PARsoN JONES' PRACTICAL JOKES.


BranKs GlaNeU ny n GENIAL Pulpit
Founder on His Associates.
Gornley is one of the most ancient towns
in what is known as the Black Country in
England and has produced some rather
notable characters. About fifty years ago
it was the residence of the Rev. Joseph
Jones, or as he was sometimes facetiously
called, the Rev. Joker Jones. on account of
his disposition for practical joking. He
was the Baptist minister of the town, but
the austerity of his creed did not repress
his genial and happy disposition aor pre-
vent him from living a jocose and merry
life. His pleasantries were sometimes
rather more than the grave and solemn
deacons of his church could tolerate but
on the whole Mr. Jones got on very well
with everybody. His jokes were generally
of harmless character, calculated to
amuse everybody and offend nobody. There
was one exception to this rule, and its per-
petration occasioned Mr.. Jones to receive
notice to quit the house which for some
years he had rented under Lord Warne.
When the notice expired Mr.. Jones ap-
peared at the agents Office and rendered
the rent.
Have you brought the key, Mr.. Jonesp"
the agent asked
mo, Mr.. Perkins, haven't" was the
reply.
'How is that"
Because | want it,"
"What do you want the key for?"
"To lock the door"
Haven't you vacated the housed"
'No; Pm not going to-"
But you will have to. 1t was his lord.
ships own wish that you should receive
notice, and you'll have to leave"
r,,... l.; Il. 1
tell him if he don't know when he's got a
good tenant | know when I've got good
landlord. and if he's got anything else to
say he can just call. Shall be glad to see
him."
When this audacity was reported to his
lordship he exclaimed: Darn the fellow s
impudence. Let him stay, Perkins, let
him stay"
His lordship had been induced to order
notice to quit to be given to Mr.. Jones
through the influence Of the rector of Corn
ley, who had been the victim of one of Mr..
Jones' practical jokes, which occurred as
as follows:
In the market town, four miles away
the Gornley Arms was the principal hotel
and was famed for its excellent table. One
| day the Rev. Dr. Crook, rector of Gornley
sat down to dinner. He could scarcely re-
| press a frown when a Methodist minister
came in and took a seat on the opposite
side of the dinner table. He was hardly
seated when the burly form of the Rev
Joseph Jones appeared, and with evident
delight he sat down by the rector. A fish
was placed before them
Twill you be good enough to carve, doc
! tors" said Mr. Jones.
The relations between church clergymer
and dissenting ministers were much les:
genial than they are now, and, unable tt
overcome his antipathy toward dissenters
the reverend doctor answered ungracious
ly: "I'll carve for myself and you can d.
the same. represent the church which il
the head of all churches, and shall TAX
the head of this fish" He took the hea,
and very good part of the fish too.
The Methodist said, II consider m,
church is the most vital of all churches
and take the body"
The Rev. Joseph Jones Immediately tool
up the sauce tureen, and planting lade
full of sauce in the faces of both minister
he exclaimed. "Tm the Baptist parson, an,
baptiZe you all."-Yankee Blade.