The Forrest City times., 1891-09-18
SIMON'S FIRST CALL.

AAuA tAo AAdSIsbut IuISOu0JC6.
 -Eftie Douglass Putnam
 SIMON'S FIRST CALL.
 Paul Peachblossom was of an in genious as we'll as economical turn O. mind, and so all the odd jobs of re- pairing about the premises were done by his own skillful hands Conse- quently, when he noticed that the 'dlnlng-room chairs were getting scared and battered, he set to work, scraped and painted them in work manl1ke manner, and completed the task of rejuvenating them by putting on thick coat of varnish.
 After he was done with them. the whole family declared that they looked better than they did the day they were brought home. Finally, when they had been sufficiently ad- mired they were scattered about in various odd and out-of-the-way parts of the house. until such time as the varnish should be dry enough to ad- init of using them. And thereby hangs tale"
 Now Mr. Peachblossom possessed a pretty daughter; and she, in her turn. possessed a beau Simon Skillinr bv name, who was greeuer than the slime in frog pond. He was SO ex- cessively bashful that he chewed wind tmore than freshly caught codfsh whenever hc tried to answer tho simplest question that Jennie Peach blossom could ask him.
 z: Affairs had been going on in this way for some time, when one Friday evening Simon approached the Peach blossom homestead to make his first call on the maid of his choice. He was so terribly frightened that his heart quivered and shook in his bosom like jar of jelly in an earthquake, and he pounded upon the pine portal with a trembling fist
 The fair Jennie herself answered bis faint-spirited knock, and she showed him to the parlor with smile that was suggestive of sugar plums and maple syrup.
 He made for the very first seat that caught his eye, with his face looking as if it had been colored with cochineal. Unluckily for him, it was one of those x newly vanished dining-chairs that had {ound its way in there in some mys- 4erious manner; but Simon never mo- siced anything about that He only realized that it was chair, and pumped down upon it like a pile driver. bolt upright and as infexible as modern Indian in front of cigar store.
 He sat there for two mortal hours ment he dared to make in all that time was just to twiddle his fingers and work his jaws little. Jennie tried her best to entertain the bashful caller, but it was slow business.
 No matter what she said to him, the result was always the same He would turn as red as lobster with the apo- plexy; then his mouth would open and shut like box-trap, but the words wouldn't come. Finally, after gasping like dying sculpin for a minute or two. a brief answer would be squeezed out of him like squeak out of a bag pipe; then silence that was dense enough to eat with spoon would once more settle down upon the scene Evidently conversation wasn't Simon's strong point.
 About nine o'clock the poor fellow felt that he could endure it no longer. So he told Jennie with much em- barrassment that he really must go home.
 t"What so soon. Simonp" said she with an enchanting smile.
 Simon was all addled up by 1t, and he made the first and only excuse that his bewildered brain could formulate.
 Yes" he said. "Fm teething and kind of croupy, and mother don't like toshave me out late.
 .Then he tried to rise to his feet but it was a vain attempt; he could nt more get up out of that chair than i he had been nailed to the bottom witt railroad spikes. That varnish had go in it's work in good shape. and Simol had taken root. In fact he might jus as we'll have been real estate as far a standing up was concerned.
 The frightened youth turned ever color of the rainbow in succession. an his hair stood up like bunch of bull rushes in down-east pasture; h hadn't doubt but he had suddenl become paralyzed. His eyes stuck or like snail's his mouth opened unt his ears were undermined. and in hi misery he gave vent to hollow groa that seemed torn from the very pit his stomach.
 Simon made another effort to riss and % found out what the matter wa but his trousers still stuck on like porous plaster in dog days
 His terror of paralysis vanished {
 by magic. but the fear of Miss Peacl blossom returned with te0fold intens 4v. Heavensl If she should find os Chat pickle he was inl He woul mover hear IT. last of 1t.
 "W-wcne you g-gst mo my owe looAtp" N oon11erod In his agony. tur, 1nG pAle around the gills.
 s'Xes; II you really must 90 !" q owere1 Jennls; md che went out ia'