The critic., 1891-02-25
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.
The ram has great head for business. LII

OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.
The ram has great head for business. Life.
~ believe you Prcsbyterlans don't keep Lent,
Miss Lawrence :" ~ Just guess we do. al.
ways have a new suit for Easter."-Puck.
George -Chapley is one Of those fellows who
have more money than brains, isn't he
I Jessic-Yes; and he 10 not rich either
HarTtr's Bdzdr.
ington ever T tell a iilef" Never, my ny son."
'sfhen how did he get his cinch on politics ~
Horper's Bdzar.
Modern Girl-Father, long to be independ.
ent-tO rely upon my own exertions for sup3
port What trade or profession would you rec
az Wise Father-F First.class cooks make 5000 a
year.
feminine.-Ne'O York Weekly.
Osborne Harrington, OF course you know OF
Halburton; come, want TO introduce you.
Neutrality-suspicious. me, have no use for
Osbornc-why, what have you against him
Barrington--Well, old fellow, Of course you
didn't know; but, you see, he Tilted my wife
once.-Ha,per's Bardr. II
she--Isn't II horrible about Mrs TinslcyY
He-Yes;. what could have induced her to
tlupc WItu ncl DutlcI
Shc-That's the saddest part OF It.. She called
at her husbands office and was told he had
gone TO the matinee with his new typewriter
That caused 1t all. And now 1t turns ont that
the typewriter was man-Ep0ch.
Ten thousand women, more or less, have
nocked TO Washington for the purpose. Of
forming u National Council. The exercises
begin to-day, and u most formidable pro-
gramme OF addresses ON all sorts OF subjects IL
In prospect. When the women really get
started Congress won't have any show at all ~
place for talk--B0st0n Post.
The Rev, DR.. Goodman--I presume, my dear
| young lady, that You will attend our daily ser;
| vice during Lenty You will lind them OF great
value to you.
| Dear Young Lady-I'll come after Easter,
| Doctor. l haven't time now. I'm Il dress
maker, you know.-Ne'0 FORK Recorder.
| Mr. slowcoach-M Mamie, have come to.
| night TO ask you question which have long
| had In my mind to ask.
| Miss Mamie (expectanty) -Indeedl Why,
am trrc u can answer any question shall be
Mr.. slowcoaci-- have long wanted "a
| You would care to hear.
Miss Mamie-You know Mr.. slowcoach, that
| should be glad to hear whatever you might
| say.
Mr.. slowcoach- then, Mamie-that Is
OF course, Miss Mamie-do you think look
better in stand-up or In \ rundown collar
| -bONOH tOWUT
IIioks-I wish l could mako an after.dlnnel
speech. But it's no use. I'm not equal to II,
| Wlcks-Why, It's easy enough when you sci
about II. made one the other day which wal
! quite effective, III do say II.
Icks-What was II abOuti
Wicks--Oh, II wasn't very long. remember
every word OF it, ~ say, walter, you've given
me the wrong check, ,'-Bosf0a TfdHscTlpt.
English lIeiress-No, Mr.. Porker, can neye
be your wife. II Is my wish to remain eve
near these ancestral halls, hallowed by thu
memories OF ages.
MIR. Porker (of the hustling WesO--ls tina
allS Why, Yseult, dear, III buy the place ant
have every stone OF II removed to Chicago
hunstg'S Weekly.
"Glrs in love amt no use in the who'll
blessed week. sundays In the mornin they'r
looking down the road expcctin' he'll come
sunday afternoons they can't think o. nothin
else cause he's hero. Monday they're sleep
and kind o. dreamy and slimsy cause he'
gone Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursda,
they cit absent-minded and begin to look OF
toward Sunday agln an nope aronn' anu le
the dlshwator git cold right under their noses
Friday they break dishes an go on In the bes
room an sniyel an look out o. the wlnieT
Saturday they have queer spurts OF workln
like all p'sessed an spurts o. frizzin' thel
hair An Sunday they begin II al over agin.
-Afena.