The record-union., 1891-10-03
ON THE CARS.
Justice Henry Branches Out With
Some More Stories.
Terrible Experience on a Desert-A
Wild and Woolly Coroner's Jury
Verdict.

Justice of the Peace Henry has another
new invoice of stories, which he is dill
gently distributing among his most init
mate friends.
The RECoRD-UNIoN's car reporter was
one of the Judges victims.
Il just received letter from an old
time friend of mine," began the Judge.
Hes living up in Washington now, and
is doing thriving business. I haven't
heard from him in years. Now, this fell
low has had more experiences romantic
and blood-curdling ones, you know
than anybody I ever heard of. Why, let
me tell you about one of them. Some
thing like twenty years ago he was trav-
cling through a sort of desert in Nevada.
1t was an unusually dry year, and the
few watering places that were on the des-
ert were dried up. A trip across the des-
ert that year was deemed hazardous, but
my friends business was urgent and he
determined to make the trip anyhow.
Well, as he afterwards told me, it was the
most dreadful experience a man
ever had, and he nearly lost
his life. His canteen was soon
empty and then he began to suffer
from thirst. His condition became worse
as he traversed each mile, and finally he
staggered into a little cabin, in which
lived q man and his wife, who eked out
an existence by catching rattlesnakes and
tanning them for circUses. His tongue
was swollen to twice its natural size, and
his throat felt as if q rCd-hot iron had
been thrust into it. Water! Water 2 he
gasped, when he caught sight Of the rat
tlesnake tanner. The man shook his head
sadly and replied that there was not q
drop in the house. My friend then
tainted. The rattlesnake folks took him
up tenderly and carrying him into an
adjoining room laid him on bed. The
poor fellow lay there in an unconscious
condition nearly all night. and when he
came to he was delirious. He crawled
OUT of bed aGdin awild-like way began to
search around the room for that which
was not 10 be had. The poor fellow
realized that his end had come, and fall
ing upon the bed, was about to give up
the ghost when-no-yes-bless you, his
life was savedr'
"Water?'
"Wateri Why man alive he discov-
cred a spring in his mattress! Whoop
ia! Ha! Ha! That's one on you! I'll
take cigar please"
The reporter had scarcely recovered
from the effects of the spring story, when
the Judge assailed him again.
81 notice that you newspaper folks are
always ready and anxious TO publish
stories of matters that happened way
back in early days." he said. "Well, I
Just happened to think of q little incident
last night that happened here in Sacra-
mento back III the sixties that will prob
ably interest you. John Keepsober was
found dead with hole in his head, and,
as it was feared that all was not well, the
Coroner took charge of the remains and
held an inquest. After hearing all the
testimony. the jury found a verdict to
the effect that the deceased had died from
the effects of hard drink.
NOW this was deemed a remarkable
verdict by Keepsober's friends and ac-
quaintances, as it was a well-known fact
that he never touched liquor of any kind,
and In fact was temperance crank Of the
most violent order. He hated ANYBODY
who would take a drink Of liquor, and
believed that salo0n-keepers were all
first lieutenants OF the devil. Naturally
the verdict caused widespread comment.
A committee of us determined to investi-
gate the matter, and learn if possible
what prompted tie verdict. We called
on the Coroner, and he set our minds at
rest in jiffy.
why said the Coroner, that verdict
of death from hard drink was perfectly
proper. The evidence showed that the
deceased was walking along street
when large cake Of ice was accidentally
dropped upon his head from a second
story window"
"Riddle-cum, riddle-cum, rec! What's
the difference between -
What's the matter with you now?"
asked the doctor.
"Oh," replied the deacon, ''I have gone
into the conundrum business. Pm in
venting riddles. Have one? What's
"Pshaw! The days of riddles have gone
by. They are good enough for children.
But then, if you have good one I'll try
to solve it for you.'
well, now, suppose two snakes of
about the same size, length, etc., should
put each his tail in the others mouth and
then both begin to swallow-and swallow
Indefinitely. What would happen?"
The doctor said he would have to 90
home and consult his books.
Rev. DR.. Reider, 1.-THE new pastor of the
Calvary Baptist Church, told an innocent
little story the other evening, which,
while he did not claim originality for it,
took first-rate with the hearers.
n little boy went with his mamma to
friends house for dinner. 1t was an ele-
CANT repast, to the childish mind-plum
pudding, pie, frosted cake, nuts, fruit,
etc. The little chaps eyes were as big as
saucers, and he stuffed himself with
goodies until his buttons began to give
way. He tried to stow away one more
plate of pudding, but it wouldn't work.
Then he turned sadly to his mother and
said, 'Oh, mamma, if was only twins
now ~