Los Angeles herald., 1891-10-27
MELINDA'S WEDDING.

When Melindy Virgins got engaged
to Pelig jerks her ma was just tickled
to death. Beaus was scase down to
Punkinville, for none of the young men
would stay arter they was growed up
besides, Pelig is real forehanded and
quite a catch.
His ma was sot agin his marryin at
all, and Melindy she wouldn't never hev
caught him eff she hadn't took airly
mornin walks bout the time he went
over to his place of business, and met
him as eff by accident
l am told that he proposed by Tag
CARTS barn, and was excepted in front
of the shoemaker's, and gave Melindy
her engagement ring jest this side of the
blacksmith's; but | can't quite believe
folks get petickerlers as close as that
only say they say so. l don't swear
to it.
Well, Mrs. Virgins she wus real sot
up about it, and she said that Melindy
should be dressed up as much as any
bride there ever had been in Punkin-
vile, eff not leetle better. But Mr..
Wiggins, Melindy's pa, he come of q
close family, and he was near hirIlself-
twas his mater TO be-and when Me-
lindy's ma asked him fur money to shop
fur the tkings, he jest buttoned up his
pockets end said, "Naw." He oilers
Pronounced no that way when he was
sot "Naw,' sez he, II amt toiled and
moiled forty odd year fur to let my
money be spent like water. You kin
make list out of what is wanted, and
I'll get it."
Well when he spoke up like that,
Mrs. Virgins she knew 'twasn't no good
talkin, so she said, "P'r'aps you air
right, pa;" and she wrote down some
things, and kinder winked acrost to
Melindy, who was beginning to cry at
the idea of her pa, that didn't know
caliker from blankets, a-choosin her
weddin clothes.
The help saw all that and heered what
wus said, and naturally told folks.
Well, that AFTERNOON Mr. Virgins
went to town to sell his potatoes, and
got the money, and come down on the
boat as usual.
The boat landin is in quite a lonesome
place, and he went home by sort of side
path anyways, and just about dusk the
Browns heard a howlin in the picnic
woods, and goin to see what it wus,
there wus old Virgins tied to tree.
He told 'em he'd been beset by robbers,
and that they wus so fierce and furious
he'd been obliged to give 'em every cent
he had. He described 'em as most out
landish critters. He said their hair wus
like cotton wool and their faces black;
their hats wus tied on with big handker-
chiefs, and they wus queer and SLOPPY in
the small of their backs Their hands
and feet wus sort of small and skinny
lookin, and they had blue overall and
linen busters on He said 'twan't their
strength that overcome him, but their
bein so spooky and supernaturallike.
And one of 'em said, in holler voice,
"Little you know who we be-" and the
other: "We're takin your money because
you don't pervide as you should fur sol
emn occasions. Beware in futureP'
When he got home he cried and said
he wished he'd Civ Mrs. Virgins the
money for Melindy's things, but she
said it happened fortunate that her sis
ter, Melindy's aunt, had sent her pres
ent fur her wedGSn.
The help now, she don't think them
robbers wus supernatural, and she sez il
ever Mr. Virgins finds out the truth she
dunno what will happen to Mrs. Wig
gins. l kinder think myself that the
robbers wus Mrs. Virgins and Melindy
dressed up in some old clothes, with cot
ton batting wigs, and don't blame en-
Well, Melindy had her clothes aftei
all, but before they wus finished Mr.
Wiggins he'd got over his skeer and got
as mean as ever again, and he wouldn't
give his unfortunate wife nothin extry
for the supper. She borried The Tide o.
Fashion from the Rabbits, and found
out that she'd orter hev chicken salad.
But Mr.. Virgins, he said he wu'
sellin his chickens, not devourin of ZEN
hum, and | suppose what she had done
before kinder weakened poor Mrs. Wig
gins conscience, for, seein her own coop
wus locked up, the poor soul wen
around to the neighbors and stole oil,
chicken apiece from each of us. 1t was
kinder just to DO it that way when she
might have took 'em all from one Of us
and those Of us that caught her at i
made up our minds not to say nuthin
but jest to pray fur her, and we'd SEN
over word that ef there wus anything WI
could do TO call on Us. And perhaps She