St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-03-01

Icdl VISITS 10 81. l'dul are lOOheu lOl N"lu
to by his friends here with pleasurable
anticipation. The reason is not per
haps. to be found alone in the fact that
M. MesSerly is the most renowned liar
on the road. but in the general apprecI-
alton OF his entertaining qualities. His
latest is cOrker, and characteristic Of
the Louisville roadster in every way.
Last SUMNER" he said, spreading
himself out comfortably on one of the
cushioned benches in the lobby of the
gyan. Il Twas down in Mississippi, where
yAc thermometer stood about % degrees
above zero. My friend. Col. Stoddard,
was working big force of niggers, and
Just when got there they were hous-
ing a heavy crop Of pop corn. arrived
Friday, and on Saturday ut noon
the last ear of corn was
put into the cribs, so the coons we're
given a half-holiday. They all went
over 10 the station, about mile away.
20 see the evening train come IN, ana
they hadn't been gone more than an
hour When the corn cribs caught fire,
and in a short time the whole year,
crop OF pop corn was in a blaze. Stod-
dard and | stood and watched the flames
but couldn't do thing to save the crop,
Tor there wasn't fire engine within
tortV miles. 1t was the StrangeSt sight
1 eyer saw. All the corn in those cribs
popped. and the noise it made was like
distant musketry. The white corn caps
dew all over the plantation. and lay an
inch deep on the ground, and a mule,
twenty-five years old. in barn near by.
began TO shiver just as though he had
ague. Pretty soon the animal fell down.
and, if you'll believe me, before we
could get to the barn that brute had
frozen to death, thinking the white
grains Of corn we're SnOWiiakeS. This
shows you what Imagination will do. for
the thermometer was 70 deg. above"
90
Il read a story in the GLOBE couple
OF days ago" said Dr.. Sigler yesterday,
about the nerve displayed by a hotel
thief in apDropriating a guests coat. 1t
put re in mind of a thing that hap
pencd to me in Chicagoa few months
ago. / was sitting at a desk in the
lobby of the Palmer house, writing
some letters. [ had laid nv new silk
hat on the desk at my right, and did not
notice that anything had occurred until
Al bell boy tapped me OH the shoulder
aud handed me q note, carefully en-
vclOped and sealed. | couldn't imagine
who ii was from. for l am almost total
stranger in Chicago. Opening the en-
salope, found card of the hotel. On
;hc back Of it was written in bold
hand:
Where did you get that hat?
i looked at my hat to see what there
was about it that could excite comment,
and then it was that l discovered the
state of affairs. Some Internal thief
had walked Off with my s. plug, leaving
shabby. shapeleSs Old tile in its place.
1 I, xsnlAl
the WaggjSh vagabOnd had paid bell
boy TO bring me that note"
90
Among a party of gentlemen who are
III The habit of dining at the same table
at thc Clifton is one whose everlasting
chatter made him obnoxious to the rest.
Tie bore would talk on every subject in
the same superficial style. until it be-
cane positively unbearable to the 9TH
erS. A few days ago one of the party
put an eXtinguiSher on the talkative
man in very neat and effective style. 1t
Was ut the dinner table. Some one made
Il remark about the coming of Margaret
Mather and Joan of Arc" when the
chatterboN opened NY as usual.
Margaret Mather," he began. "Why.
I've known Mag ever since she was a
little girl. We two used to play tag
together down in York state. Jolly
little creature she"
Excuse me-" broke in the quletest
man in the crowd, but did you ever
hear the story abont the parrOt?"
No one had ever heard the parrot
story. and every one wanted to hear it,
Including the bore.
Well continued the quiet man. 81
aust stipulate that no one present will
place IL personal application on the yarn.
ON these conditions will tell il"
"Of course not" Certainly not!''
That Is understood" were the answers
from AL sides.
The parrot. went OH the quiet man,
twas an awful talker. ltcOuld discount
any other parrot in that respect. 1t had
no regard for human feelings, and
broke III op any conversation with its
insane remarks. One day bulldog
and the parrot were. left alone i'll the
same room.
Sic EN-, sic 'em. Tige,' screamed
the bird.
caught him and Shook him until he
hadn't tail feather left, and was a
badly ilapidated-looking subject
When the dog had been called off,
the parrot labored to his perch,
scanned himself infinitely, and then
gazing at his scattered plumage. said:
Il know what's the matter with me:
talk too id much"
The dinner went on without Interrupt
ton. The preparatory denial Q. per
sonal application had done its work
delicately ard well.
ono Of the best-known ladies in the
town told story at tea party the
other afternoon which goes to show that
the deliberate and portly gentleman
whose wife she is was not always as i'm
perturbable as he now has the reputa.
ton of being. There were about q
dozen married ladies together. and
well, yon all know what comes off at a
tea fight. They snapped stories about
their friends; wondered how Miss Sc
and So could have engaged herself to
marry that penniless Mr.. Ineligible,
and at last got down to a discussion OF
different ailments, particularly nervous.
ness.
My dears." began one fair young
matron, Pm getting more nervous
every day; its positively terrible. Oh
c0uesc you are not troubled with merry
ouSness.' she continued, turning TO a
well-prcserved woman of about fifty.
No" was her reply: "but when We
were married Charlie was the most nery
Ous man | ever saw. His nerve has
returned 20 him now. but I'll tell YOU
what he did at the wedding. When
we stood up to be married, he was SC
embarrassed that, without realizing what
he was doing. lie pulled cigar from his
pocket and began twirling il about IN
his fingers. When the time came fol
Us to Join hands, he had the cigar in his
right hand. / was very nearly laughing
outright IL the eccentric moves he went
through in trying to get rid OF tina,
cigar unnoticed. The clergyman paused
for q moment and then repeated the
instruction to join hands. BY this tint
Charlie was m frenzy. and declare
to you that he stuck that cigar in hi:
mouth. There he was with his righ
hand occupied and cigar between hi,
teeth So that he couldn't say word
The minister had to take it from III:
mouth before the service could be con-
plctcd."
DIR. Hale, Cor. Dayton andWestern.
Fills Teeth without pain.