Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1891-09-10
SOME QUEER LETTERS.
DUBIOUS SPECIMENS IN THE
ART OF WRITING.
Com.cui Correspondence of Three let
t.-s-The Postscript of Woman's
Ictter-A Love Letter
Taken As q Joke.

l.,
.,ant which one of the others said was
al moonshine. He resisted every i'm
nortuni,y, and after supper it
1r,s DECIDED to punish him. Accord
;nglv on the following day, Collins
.ent him folded sheet of foolscap, on
which was written: After you left
,ve had stout and OYSTERS" The re-
,eyer understood what was meant
and thought he would "do" them
Some days later he sent to Collins. in
feicned hand. another large sheet of
foolscap with the words, Had you?n
Herewith the joke seemed to end
but Collins was determined to have
Che last word. He waited and waited
until the thing was almost forgotten,
and then one fine morning. the writer
# the last query opened letter in
wbich he had the satisfaction Of read
ING. yes we had"
The pith of lady's letter, accord
inc to brutal men. lies invariably in
the postscript; and as an example of
this. Mr.. Seton. in his Gossip about
Letters ana Letter Writing" tells of a
Young lady who went out to India. and
who, writing home to her friends put
in postscript, "You will see by my
signature that l am married." this
being the only intimation of the fact
in twelve-page letter But the same
thing may sometimes be said of gen
tlemans letter, as is proved by the
following. alleged to have been sent to
the late Bishop of Norwich, in answer
to an invitation:-"Mr. O-'s private
affairs turn out so sadly that he can
not have the pleasure of waiting upon
his lordship at his agreeable house on
Monday next. N. Bills wife is
dead"
Here is a decided curiosity in the
way of love letters. Itwa written by
ayoung French sculptor who went out
Of his mind for love of the young but
cruel widow to whom it was addressed,
md who only looked upon it as a witty
joke:
Divine Pebble. Were you not
harder than porphyry or agate. the
chsel OF my love, guided by the mallet
of my fidelity, would have made some
impression upon you. |, who have
given every form to the toughest ma
terials, had hoped that with the COM
pass of reason. the saw of cOnstancy,
the fine file Of friendship. and the pol
ish of my words, should have made
Of you one of the prettiest statues in
the world. But, alas! you are an in
,pOSblp and
soul, you yourself remaining cold as
marble. Have pity on me; no longer
know what say or do. When | have
dragon to sculpture, it is Cupid that
rises under my chisel. Dear column
Of hopes, pedestal of my happiness,
cornice OF my JOY, if you make me hap
py will raise to you statues and pyra-
mlds. Tomorrow will call for your
answer. -Auguste.
The following appears in the Har-
ieian Miscellany, and was really sent
by one Quaker in the country to an
other in London:-
Friend JOHN desire thee to be
so kind as to go to one of those sinful
tnen in the flesh, called an attorney,
and let him take out an instrument.
With a seal fixed thereunto, by means
whereof We may seize the outward tab
ernacle of George Green. and bring
him to the lambskin men of Westmin-
'ter and to teach him to do as he
would be done by; and so l rest thy
friend in the light, NJ. G."
The general post Office is the con-
slant recipient of curious letters on all
manner of subjects quite foreign to its
functions
Such request as the ensuing is of
frequent occurrence:-'i Beg of you
70 let me il you do no something about
ayoung sailor. his name Hugh. he
Is now away since or years hope
gentlemen you will let me know if he
Is dead Or alive as l am anxious to no
as it is deal of trouble on my mind
as he is boy i have reared up with
out father an mother an he deal of
trouble on my mind. he has dark
ayes and Brown hair. looking pae.
please gentlemen to let me no if you
can by return of post"
A certain couple wishing to get mar
eled in hurry, asked the postmaster
70 get them license; and, fifteen
months later wrote again to ascertain
u there was a baby show to be held
mat year at Woolwich, and. if so, on
what date and in what place.
A smart man in Tennessee wrote to
know If the late Mr.. Fawcett could put
aim on the track of the maker of an
instrument for hunting gold and silver
"a kind OF divining rod for the pre-
cious metals; another asked him to
ooiige by finding purchaser for a
livingstone pig of which he Ohe
wrlter) was the possessor; and yet
another wrOth the following, with
which We conclude, from California:
Il take the pleasure in writing a
Jew lines TO you, wishing you to ask
some old friends of yours to find my
'ather, wether he is ded or gone to
sumo other place, his trade was when
lett an artist and q painter. l left
london when was four years old. l
tome to California; my mother and
him had some fuss. the street where
we lived is on Oxford Street You