The morning news., 1891-11-29
OUR CLEVER BAB
FINDS LOTS OF THING3 IN NEW
YORK To TALK ABOUT.

AuS hoy ana LDe AttC--heJ- NJ an
Takes to Its Csc Naturally, But
Woman Loses 1.-The Dog on the
Stsge-Canine Wisdom-A Dog and
a Baby-Bernhardt Unpopular in
New York-Her Watts Are Too
Long for Gotham - The Public's
Rights and the Actor-New York's
Lack of Water - Remnants of
the Original Siu.
(Copvrightl
NEW YoRK, Nov. 2S.-They have been
taking up curious question in England,
which shows most beautifully the difference
between the English and American boy. 1t
is: "At what age shall l give my son a
latch keyg" When 1 read it, to be very
dramatic, 1 laughed until the rafters rang.
l don't know how rafters ring, and mine are
not visible to the ordinary eye, but still,
don't you like 10 say things that sounds welll
| But the latch key Who ever heard of CIV
| ing an American boy a latch key! Nobody
| gives it TO him; it seems to grow into bis
pocket some day Fancy maternal parent
| prancing up to her son end saying: my
beloved boy, you have now reached your
| 18th year. and you are entitled TO the free
| dom of the house. and | present you with a
latch key" Wouldn't she look like an in
siderable donkeyl
FASHION AND THE LATCH KEY.
Whether boys inherit their latch keys, as
| they do their vices, from their fathers or not,
l cannot say. But do know this. that dur
ing years of personal acquaintance with
several brothers of my own, and several
| brothers of other women, l never
haQrn ixrfn Of KnU n Nna aA
formal affair, like blowing up He'll Gate
or the opening of the Brooklyn bridge. The
latch key is not in favor among the Four
Hundred. The select society of snobs pre-
fers to stand and shiver with the cold and
ring the bell, so that people may know that
they have plenty of servants in
the house to answer IT, OF course, there
them is, that if 365 should
happen to be particularly full of
the contents Of the cup that cheers,
he can be assisted upstairs by the gem
ial door-keeper. Talk about American lib
erty-talk about the freedom of the press
talk about woman's suffrage or temperance,
or all the other fads, il you will, but keep
the latch key always to the fore. 1t is the
sign and symbol Of the superiority Of man
over everything else.
WOMAN AND A LATCH KEY.
A woman and a latch key are incompati-
BILE. Occasionally, she may borrow one and
be harmonious, but that she should possess
one of her own and WELD it with care and
precision is not natural. 1t invariably
makes a hole in her dress pocket and nine
times out of ten it falls through. She never
can getit in right and she fumbles and fuses
around the key-hole until you do begin to
wonder if whatever she has taken has gone
to her hands. After working away for a
half an hour she generally finishes up by
ringing the bell. Now, man walks up the
doorsteps, finds the key without any trouble
puts it in its proper place at once, opens the
door as IL by magic, puts the key back
where it came from, and the whole affair
has not occupied more than half a min
ute. To save her soul, woman couldn't do
that; she would carry the key in hand until
she got upstairs, and then put 1t on table
or in with her crimping irons, because she
likes all the heavy things to 60 together;
but as to returning 1t to her pocket, unless
she is a creature advanced to wearing ultra
masculine shirt fronts and keeping her
bank account correctly, she will never do
this.
THE DOG ON THE STAGE.
Have you ever noticed in the drama of
the present how largely the dog element
prevailss don't mean the mere ordinary
| puppies-there are always plenty Of them
but mean the four-legged specimens who
have qualities that men might copy with
! good result. In Sothern's new play a great
big dog comes on, is made much of, and
| walks of. In a pretty little monologue q
| small fox terrier Is the recipient OF his joy
and woe. and kisses the picture OF his sweet
| heart or llcks his masters hand, as is called
| for by the play. The fox terrier is the dog
| OF the century. He has that marvellous
cleverness peculiar to himself and the
American girl. He is capable Of frlghten-
ing any big dog out of his wits. and he can
sit aud look the next minute as If he were SO
good that he was going straight to dog
heaven He is wicked enough to get sym
pathy when he doesn't need it, and he is
| steadfast enough in his purpose to sit aud
| glare at what he wants, and indulge In a
series Of whines that are heart-rending un-
til, to keep the house from being Lulled. you
give him whatever he wants A fox terrier
who is an acquaintance of mine hates to be
carried, and vet when the weather is very
wet and kind-hearted stable boy takes
him from one house to another, he yells at
| the top OF his voice, and every other woman
ON the street wonders what that wicked boy
is doing to that dear little dog. The poor
fellow is simply taking care OF him, but the
fox terrier knows that if he whoops loud
enough he will be permitted to do what his
soul desires; that is to get down and wallow
in the mud until his very soul is reeking
with dirt.
CANINE WISDOM AND DOG DELIGHTS.
His knowledge of geography is good, and
his knowledge of people is better. He can
spot cad quicker than man can, and his
aristocratic little nose will turn up in dis
dain as he refuses to be petted by people he
don't approve Of He adores children, and
sometimes on the street his yelps Of COM
bined delight and disappointment are some
what distressing. He sees the baby. and ht
wants to go and kiss it and play with it, and
children nowadays are not the kind who
like to toss and tumble around with dog
You can deceive great big st. Bernard oil
a Newfoundland dog, but not a fox terrier
you can pretend to weep and get his sym
pathy once, but the second time he knows
whether those m0aus are real ones
or whether you are trying to sex
what be will do and he will look at yoI
with disdain only possible to him. HI
can tell though in a minute if you ar
really sorrowful; there need be no tears OF
making of means, but he knows by youl
face that you are unhappy, and he come
forward, stands on his hind legs aud puts W
his paws and lick your hand and wants t.
60 through all his little tricks to make yoU
feel happy again.
A DOG AND A BABY.
He is good friend, is the fox terrier, anC
my advice to anybody who has baby IL