The record-union., 1891-07-13
BOOK AGENT AND BULLDOG
Fierce Was the Fight Put Short. and
the Agent Had the Last Laugh.

Fierce Was the Fight Put short. and
the Agent Had the Last Laugh.
The story teller was book agent,
nevertheless l enjoyed listening to him
as he reeled of the yarn something after
this style:
"Down in Jones County lives a far
mer who used to keep bulldog for tho
special purpose of soaring away book
agents and tramps, who, otherwise he
declared, would poster the life out of
his wife and hired girl.'
''Tiger was the dogs name and the
mans nature.
Now If there was any one thing that
Tiger enjoyed it was a live, long-legged,
sound-lunged book agent, one who could
run and yell. His rather melancholy
countenance would light up the instant
be caught sight of one of these gentle
beings ambling up toward the front
door. Then he would quickly slide
in under the front stoop and calmly
await the approach of his unsuspecting
victim. When the book agent was
within ten feet of the first step out
would spring old Tiger with a savage
growl. The frightened agent, with yell
of terror, would bound backward, and
start OH a bee line for the garden wall.
But before he could take three bounds
old Tiger, with a low, chuekhng growl
OF pleasure, would faSten his teeth in tho
seat OF his trousers and hang on until tho
farmer and his two hired men came
with crowbars and grinning faces, pried
his jaws apart and set the captive free.
The CORY tale set my heart in tunult
ofindignation, and l determined to teach
that bulldog lesson. / procured three
pounds of the strongest cayenne pepper
obtainable, fastened it firmly in the seat
of my trouSerS-nly second beSt-and
thus loaded walked boldly up to the
home of the cranky farmer and carnivor-
Gus bulldog.
A i 4 4
Tiger dodge in under the front piazza.
walked boldly on, and when within
about ten feet Of the first step with
blood-curdling growl old Tiger sprang
for me. lie was an awful sight, with his
wide open mouth full of cleaning worries,
and turned and ran for all / was worth.
had not made three jumps before / felG
jerk and heard a ripping, tearing sound,
and then my ears We're greeted with Il
howl of pain. then knew that the bull
dog had gotten his eyes, nose and mouth
chuck full of my second best trousers and
cayenne pepper. A great JOY welled up
into my heart and stopped and watched
the animal.
"He howled as though a hundred
fends had lent him their tongues, clawed
at his mouth, relied over beds of rare
flowers, demolished costly rose bushes,
turned double summersaults backward
and forward, and practiced all kinds of
astounding gymnastical feats. At last
one of his gyrations landed him on the
back stoop. In a momont the swill bar
rel was tipped over, and the farmers wife
and hired girl were upset in its contents.
Great, then, was the confusion Tor q few
moments. During this melee / thought
it best to decamp, and turned and walked
happy and triumphant away The last
glimpse l caught of the dog as | passed
over the brow of the hill, found him roll
ing over lot of clothes that had just been
laid out upon the grass to dry.
1.-The next day l called again to note
results and to reap my reward.
''The moment | stepped within tho
yard / saw the bulldog, with head down
and tail between his legs, start like
streak of spotted lightning for the barn,
whence, ever and anon, long drawn agon-
izing howls reached my ears.
"When once in the house was treated
like king. The farmers wife and hired
girl had not had chance to talk with a
book agent for six months, and conse-
quently were almost wild with delight to
see me. The old lady bought $40 worth
of books, cash down. the hired girl had
me write in her autograph album, where
none but her dearest friends were
allowed to scribble; and when at last L
was compelled to go the dear old lady
gave me her blessing in q trembling voice
and Bible; while the hired girl, as she
hid her streaming eyes in the folds of her
not oyer-clean apron, begged me TO send
her my photograph and a lock of my au-'
burn hair"