The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1891-11-04
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

lake IL now, IKE good DOy, ana You
can have anything you want. Bobby
Well, then, can 1 have some more jam
tarts +?
A Pleasing Effect: Brown-Why
will you persist in drinking, Dulnley ?
Surely you don't like the taste Of WINS
key. Dumley (very full)-No, / don't
like tas'e of it. Drink whizzy simply
f'r feet (Groamng.1 FIR heavens
sake shomebOdy take me home.
Uncle Billy's Honest Pride: Uncle
Billy-Yes, sir: de ole oman s'potes
de family by takin' in washin'. Mr.
Jenkins-But doesn't that make you
feel ashamed at times? Uncle Billy
Shamed! \! Whatcher talkIn' bout, boss?
Ise proud o. de ole oman.
Bobby (remonstratingly)-Maw, at
grandmaw's always get three pieces Of
pie. Mother That is entirely too
much for little boy, as you will know
when you get older and wiser. Bobby
latter deep meditati Dwell, nav,
grandmaw is good deal older than you
Old Lady Ito elderly bride On her
wedding trip)-That young feller that
went into the smoking car seems very
{ nd Of you, ma'am. Elderly bride
Yes, indeed; John loves me dearly.
Old Lady-It does my heart good to
see such affection IN these days. Is he
the only son ye got, ma'am?
Speeches To Be Lived Down: Young
Hostess will you have a glass Of
wine, Mr.. Goldbug? Mr.. Goldbug (vio-
lent prOhibitiOnist) Thank you, mad
am, but / never drink spintuOus liquors.
Hostess (anxlous TO smooth it over, but
little furried)-Indeed! Why, you
look like drinking man, Mr.. Goldbug.
Her First View Of Bicycle: Man
Ito old lady on country rOad)-Didn't a
bicycle pass this way just now, ma'am ?
Old LADY, didn't see no kind of a
sickle, mister; but / seed a waggin' wheel
running away with a man about five
minits ago. You kin b'lieve it no not.
| wouldn't if hadn't seed 1t myself
BHrdette.
The Old, Old Story: With vast anx-
iety do we await the returns from west
ern Texas. They will come IN tonight
about midnight and the reports will be
something like this: ''Thirty-sev n
counties in western Texas show a net
democratic gain Of $1,000" Then
We shall not hear from western Texas
again till the next election
Swindling the Undertaken: BOrer 10
undertaker)-Why. Mr.. Mould, /
thought You we're of on a vacation. Mr..
Mould did intend to 60 last month,
but old Mrs. Bently was taken danger
ously i'll, and that has kept me hanging
around home. And now lin low, in
jured tone,) blamed if she amt getting
well.
A Vast Field: Hon. Mr.. Muty Of
Raccoon Ridge-When was in con-
gress a certain professor used to come
miles to hear me speak. Prof. Surtout
Indeed What was his name? Mr..
Mufty-Professor Tootles Of Boston.
Prof. Surtout-Exacty y. Ile has since
become famous as the author of "Ten
Mistakes in English Gram
mar"
Alas, alasl we poor mortals are lit
tie better than woOd-ashes-there is
small sign Of the sap, and the leafy
freshness and the bursting buds that
we're once there; but whenever we see
we know that all that early
fulness Of life must have been. hard
" ever look at a bent old man, or wiz
ened old woman, but see also, with
the minds eye. that Past of which they
are the shrunken remnant; and the
unfinished romance of rosy cheeks and
bright eyes seems sometimes Of feeble
interest and significance, compared with
that drama Of hope and love that has
long ago reached its catastrophe, and
left the poor soul, like a dim and dusty
stage, with all its sweet garden-scenes
and fair perspectiyes overturned and
thrust out Of sight-GeOrge Eliot.
A Low Estimate: Tompkins Ito two
intimate nds)-This talk about the
inferiority of women is nonsense. Take
nv wife for instance. She has twice as
much sense as l and l'm not ashamed
to acknowledge it, either. One of the
friends-But isn't that putting rather
a low estimate on your wife's intellect
aul powers 2-.HeTchaat TraUeLier.
! have been tempted sometimes TO en-
w the immediate triumphs Of the sing
er. He enjoys all that praise can do
for him, and at the very moment of ex-
ertlng his talent. And the singing wO-
men Once IN a while, in the course
Of my life, i have found myself in the
midst of a tulip-bed of full-dressed,
handsome women in all their glory;
and when some one among them has
shaken her gauzy wings and sat down
before the piano, and then, only giving
the keys a soft touch now and then to
support her voice, has warbled some
sweet, sad melody intertwined with the
Iongings or regrets Of some tender-heart-
I'd poet, 1t has seemed to me that so TO
hush the rustling of the silks and ST.
Ience the babble Of the buds, as they
all the chicks Of q new season, and