The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-10-13
pale messenger with the inverted
torch should beckon the two away
together.
When Baby was sick We gave her Castoria-
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria-
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoris-
When she had Children, she gave them CastoriA.
DICKS YARN.

DICKS YARN.
1.-THE funniest thing that ever hap
pened in Sedalia," said Mr.. Richard
I. Gentry the other day, lis still the
talk Of the town, although it happen
ed several years ago. One of my
most intimate friends was q traveller
for q great st. Louis dry goods house,
and. as he is still ON the road. I will
omit his name. He was ac English
man, and one of the boys who went
out early and stayed late. In the
course Of time he married one of the
bellies of Central Missouri, a lovely
and beautiful young woman, to whom
he has Away been devoted. About
two months after his marriage the
bohemian spirit tugged at his heart
strings and he determined once more
to make . night of it. Escaping the
vigilance Of his good wife one even
ing he came down town, met several
Of the old congenial spirits and was
soon popping champagne corks at .
lively rate. Hour after hour passed
and the traveller was gradually near
ing the happy stage, when it sudden
ly dawned upon his bsnumbed and
benighted intellect that be had been
missed from home. Rising quickly
from his chair he signalled to a friend
and both passed outside to think it
over.
"'Shay, old feller,' said the trav.
eler, l, gotta go home, doncherknow,
and there'll be the devil to pay.
What'll l do?'
"His companion reflected for a mo-
ment as calmly as his excited brain
would allow, and then, with a bright
CLEAN of intelligence, answered:
"'Buy her new dress-a silk dress.
None of your common stuff, now, old
boy; Just the best in the stores
'Hooray for you,' said the trav-
eler. Come along and help me
get it.
"The two friends started, arm in
arm, for the largest dry goods house
in Sedalia, and the traveller invested
in the finest piece of black silk he
could find. As they passed out Of the
door the traveller stopped and said.
Shay, old teller, letsh have
mother, account of the dress, don't
cherknow.'
"And they had another-in fact,
several, and it was 2 a. m. when they
decided that home was the best place,
after all. In was q beautiful night in
June, I remember, with the stars all
sglow and the full moon giving an
appearance Of midday to the streets.
The traveller emerged from the saloon
with his umbrella under one arm and
the dress pattern under the other,
conversing with himsef f.
'Looksh like rain, boys. Good
thing / brought this umbrella, don't
cherknow.'
"Hoisting his umbrella he let fall
the dress goods but held to the end of
it, and when he started. the piece Of
silk was Strengthened on the pave
meut for twenty yards. In that con-
dition he took the middle Of the street
and as he disappeared from view the
town rang with his musical voice in
the melody of God Save the Queen
1t was exceedingly comical, they tell
me, to see the man, underneath his
umbrella, with the dress goods string
ing along behind him, and the big
moon looking down upon him, NOV
ing tortuously toward his home. A
month later l met him, and after
relating the incident to me, he said,in
sad and solemn tones:
"The scheme didn't work, Dick
My mother in-law let me in. 1 wear
a blue badge now, dontcherknow. ~
st. Louis Republic.