The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1891-03-07

l. and they are frequently confused by
young operators. l. is represented by
a long dash and t by a short one, and
double t or double ], when sent too
close together, make the letter m. so
that it vas quite possible for the law
yers wife to have been informed, or,
rather misinformed, that her husband
intended to dine with an individual of
the peculiar name of '.Bimy" Smith or
'kimy'' Smith. or even "Bitty" Smith or
"killy"Smith, instead of kitty Smith.
Such palpable errors are, of course,
only made by very green operators.
An experienced man, unless his wits
We're off wool-gathering. would make
some inquiries of the sender, which
would probably result in a correction.
Two callow young operators made an
explanation necessary from n New
York newspaper man recently. lie was
to be married in the West. Before
leaving town he devoted several days to
searching over Brooklyn for a fiat, be-
ing assisted in the search by a young
married oman the friend of his be-
trothed. Upon leaving his Office n
morning about two o'clock he sent the
brooklyn lady a telegram, which he
expected would be delivered TO her
about $50 or nine o'clock in the morn
ing. The dispatch was worded apollo
getically: 'Will be over TO worry you
this afternoon"
The message was ''bullcd' on its way
across the East river and a meaning of
so much importance was given to il
that the Brooklyn operator rushed it
out, the message boy arriving at the
house at about -four a. IN. The hus-
band Of the lady got out of bed to an
swcr the bell. I;y a further mistake of
the delivery department the envelope
was addressed to the husband. lie
/ opened it and was astOnished to read:
Mrs. --: viii he over to marry
you this afternoon"
When a man is awakened from a
sound sleep and informed that his wife
is TO be married to a young man who,
he has had every reason to believe, was
to be married to a Young lady in the
West. he is apt to conclude that he isn't
! awake after all. No one who has not
experienced it can realize how very
startling il is. II was the first his wife
had heard of it. They rackcd their
brains for a solution of the pnzzle. II
wasn't solved. however. until the young
newspaper man arrived
\ lynching was nearly prccipitatcd
by the error of a Kansas ope: ator some
time ago. 1t was only avcrted by the
discovery that there was 10 one to
lynch. 4 young farmer was called
away from home for a few days. His
wife went to visit her brother IN a town
near by during his absence. The third
day her husband telegraphed her: Big
ball. meet me at Wichita tonight.
There was to be a dance and he wanted
his wife to attend. This was a SPLEEN
did opportunity for the imp of mischief
whocauscs telcgraphic bulls HetaIh-
pered with the message so that hen
the farmers wife read it, it said: Big
Bill got me at Wichita tonight"
Her instant and very natural on
clusion wa that her husband had
either been captured or shot. or both.
by a desperate named Big Bill" Her
brothers agreed with her. and the whole
family and a number OF neighbors, all
heavily armed, took the first train for
Wichita to rescue the husband and
hang Big Bill The husband was
waiting calmly at the station for his
wife. The vigilance committee de
manded Big Bill" and were not at all
satisfied with the husband for standing
there free and uninjured. The brothers
criticised him severely because he
wasn't kidnapped, and announced that
in their opinion he was guilty of rank
deception. 4 fight was prevented by
his wifc's Intervention and an explana-
ton.
\ gentleman in San Francisco learned
had suddenly lost al. her property and
was in a condition of actual want. He
tclcgraphed to a friend. a lawyer of
Los Angeles: Assist Mrs. - immedi-
ately." The word assist was changed
to arrest and the poor woman's
misery was increased by a night in a
prison cell.
Send me tenderloins," said a mes
sage received by a New York sporting
man from a friend in Philadelphia. 1t
should have read: send me ten dol
lars The New York man replied:
What do you mean?' and the Phila-
delphia man was so indignant at such a
response TO his request that the friend
ship was severed for nearly a year.
A gentleman with the dignified name
of Cyrus T. Nixon was shocked to have
-l a. -. -1-z---l |
Circus +. Nixon" A wholesale produce
merchant received a message from a re-
tail customer, saying: Your 1890 are
No. 900 D." 1t should have been: Your
eggs are no good" The delivery de-
department of the New Orleans West
ern Union office was mystified by a
message addressed to Blyannon street.
1t turned put to be SO Cannon street.
A country operator once entered a
plea in extenuation of his lack of skill.
lie said: Il run a country office, and am
called a ham by city operators, but l
claim the honor of being the hardest
worked man in the business. I'm the
town clerk. justice of the peace, real
estate agent. insurance agent, post
master, express agent, superintendent
of the Sunday-school and president of
the village debating society. Is it any
wonder that I break pretty often,
with all those cares on my mind?'
Absolute accuracy will probably
never come. 1t certainly will not as
long as photographers have debts, love
affairs, good intentions, baseball, horse
races and countless other subjects to
occupy their minds while they are re-
ceiving or sending dispatches in the
contents of which they can have no pos
sible interest.
Libbie Did Well.