St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-04-05
j r A l. o Z s
WIFE.

One morning John left through habit per
niciOuS,
His overcoat down in the hall;
"Ahem" quoth the wife, 1.-The occasions
To test johns fidelity; though not suspicious,
III peep in his pockets, that's all.
"a bundle of letters? and tied with bowH
The perfume is altar of roses,
An they're from his mother, who worships
him so;
Although not inquisitive I'd like to know
Just how she begins and how closes.
< My own precious love" Just what used
to saw
From Helen, your own until deathr
Why, that's not his Notwithstanding
And why has he torn off the envelopes.
Suspicion quite shortens my breath!
1.-The goose that am-'tis some sweetheart
Suspicion shall not blanch my cheek
How foolish to doubt him-the date would
have told;
And yet they're not musty, there's no trace of
mould
Great heavens! they're dated this week!
They're burning with love! Oh, my poor
heart will break
While I'm scarcely more than bride,
My John to prove faithless-the villain, the
Takel
I'll quickly repair to my chamber and take
mat last step III 1te--SClcl0e!
I'D leap from the window-but as It's not
dark
I'd look such fright i'll the fall.
I'd die by his pstol-but when cold and
stark
There be on my temple a black powder
IA horrid great hole from the ball!
NY corpse mutilated would spoil the effect
For must look lovely in death,
Cut NV throat with his raZOr:-Oh, let me re-
fleet
'Twould sever my windpipe, and then, ex-
never could draw my last breath!
should drown myself down where the
By the mill in the deep, placid race?-
The fishes would eat me! No, no! then
fear
I'll have to hang up by the big chqndelierl-
And then I'll turn black in the face
Il might light the fire with the kerosene can,
And go where all treachery ceases;
I'd 60 il with dynamite were | q man
No, no! I'll die easy, by some other plan,
And not leave my corpse all IN pieces
I'll ask the French druggist just over the
way.
For something to poison the cat.
The gripinss and spasms are dreadful, they
say.
And poison I'll take without any delay
Though it do puff me up like rat
"oh, tell me, thou prince of all druggists and
leechers,
What poison you keep in this place
For rats. those unhappy mean pesky Great
UreS,
To let them die easy, not puff up their feat
Nor make them turn black in the face?''
''Ah. madam, geeve you re grandest pow
Eat make re rat sweetaire ven deaf:
10 mooch YOU feel sorry you keel him, by
gaire.
Re rat die so zgentiy. you see him, you swear
lie vas only asleep in re bet
-Vaire small, lcetal pinch eez a dose; vat you
Depend on re size of re rat
Re rat, ven he leetal eez vaire sen sa-tief:
Won bieg rat, deeSconsolate, no wish to lief,
Zjust gief him a teaspoon OF zat''
At home in her chamber the poison she
took.
And rolling in agony Law
" hen John, coming back for that coat ON
the hook,
Fast mounted the stairs with an agonized
look.
Where his wife groaned in sweet disarray.
Why. Name. what's the matter:' oh, John.
pray. explain
These letters | found in your cOat?"
That coat was my partners, worn home in
Not yours: Quick! I'm poisoned! It's
Tacking my brain.
To the drugglst-get some antidOtel'
So The druggist he rushed-'Sir, you've poi
Suned my Name"
SaiG the Frenchman-"keapo on re apparel
She Want re rat poison-but know re game
Val don't black &c face of re rat: Ven she
came
Ze pa sdn;se of sugairc gave. All re same
ciie Wsli LIEF eef she cat re whole barrein'
Fred Emerson brooks,