The critic., 1891-01-05
OVER THE TEA CUPS.

Sitting Bull has gone where he can indulge
in real ghost dance omaha World Herald.
Ask any woman what ~ woman's most in
tercstng age and she will come very near tell
ing you how old ahe is.-AtchisOn Globe.
"Yop see, Baron, my papa gives me book
"Ah! yon must have already quite library"
-FieQende Bldtter
Tommy-Mamma, can't you tell me new
fairy story
Tommy; maybe your father win tell you some
when he comes In tonight. - indianapolis
JOWHdl.
The law excluding from the newspapers ad-
vertisements OF lotteries and reports OF all
ghss Sas Of sGss mot
than anything clse.-NorristO,c Herald.
Gay-I feel like new man to-day.
Bright-Do your Glad to hear IT, Perhaps
yon can zee your way clear to pay that little
Gay-1'm new man, told you. You can't
expect me TO assume the liabilities OF the old
cOncern.-BoSton Transcript
In South Dakota Ut WINS Sunday mornlng)--
what are all these people standing here for'"
asked the stranger.
"They are waiting for church to come to
them. The cathedral ia delayed by q washout
ON the track two miles ck."-Pack.
11:59 p. NJ.
lie rose TO leave Ctwas New Years Eve),
zone kiss" said he, "plcasc, dear,
Before 60" Cried she, "No, no,
You can't have one this year" Life.
Mrs. Younghusband--Now that IL is the new
year, John, hope that You will be able to say
no; and, by the way, won't yon let me have a
little money!
John (herocally) -No--New Haren Ne,cs.
MY husband IL very fond OF animals" said
Mrs. Furber; last night in his sleep he turned
over and said: Take ont something for the
kitty Boston Commercial Bulietta.
1t is believed that thirty strangers per week
arrive In New York TO purchase counterfeit
money OF sharpers, and, while each and every
one OF them IL swindled 1t is only about one
out OF every hundred who makes complaint.
His own guilt forbids, and he goes home n
swindled and wiser man.-Detr0t Free Press
"Gentemcn," sad the Governor, who had
been petitioned TO extend executive clemency
10 prisoner convicted OF poisoning her hus.
band, ~ win pardon this woman, but only on
one condition.
"And that is--iN
"ThGt she shall not go on the stagcS"--Llfe.
Weeks-well, how are things over in Bos,
tonS Have they named any new PIE "Arlsto-
tlcn yet.
WentmGn-No.o. But heard man there
ask fer II Plato soup thristida Register.
A certain canon reads prayers to his house
hold every night, One morning his new house
maid-Hhe was country girl, and had only be-
gun service in the house the day beforc-gaye
nothing could persuade her to stay In the
canon's house, whore, she said, she had been
70 grossly insulted. No one could understand
the girl; but after much persuasion she OK,
planned: II was at prayers last night. ] card
master say % God, who attest nothing
but tn 'ousomaid. '"-LOnd0n Standard.
At certain seminary for young ladies', In
the East, the students of German are not al
lowed to speak In any other language at the
table, but one Young lady, more daring than
the others, broke the rule and announced In
| English TO her companions that she was
"mnshed" on certain young man.
mashed" said the young frauleln, who pre-
| sided over the students, and who i bIt i'm
perfectly acquainted with English, "mash,
| what does thar ~
"Ob," spoke up one Of the young ladies.
| wishing TO save her blushing and confused
| companion, ''when II person "a very much In
love with anybody, she says she Is 'mashat'
| on him.
7 he girls thought that ended the matter,
| but what was their surprise when, the next
night In prayer meeting, the teacher rose with
| boamng face and declared: III wish 10 testify.
Young ladies, that am mashed on the Lord. -
| iHRQdtilhd MQHii6r.