St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-11-26

Bible, tucked the Bible under his arm,
and began to eat the apple.
That settles it!' exclaimed Healv
the elder. eff he's such hog as that
III make politician of him."
Every time Eve started out on one of
my reading tours lately Eve had a hard
time to get to the ticket window of the
railway station. There are always a lot
of people there who are asking ques-
tons. They remind me of an old wOm-
an whom | heard of in London who
went to station little way out of the
city and asked when the next train
would 90 TO London.
Twelve-Gfteen," said the agent. 1t
was then a. IN.
Shortly afterward the woman came
again and asked the same question.
Same reply.
At 10 O'Clock same question, same an
swer, and so OH at intervals of thirty
minutes until 1880. Then the agent
was veXed.
Madam" said he, mo train will pass
this stat!0n-eXDresS, freight, goods, or
accommodation, to London or from Lon
don-until 12:15."
Oh" responded the old lady, much
relieved, then l think I'll venture to
cross the tracks,"
All the railroads ought to have more
system about their passenger-office
business. Everybody admiTes system,
even those that suffer by it. if they hap.
pen to be business men. Why, heard
about a Hebrew who climbed up two
lights of stairs TO room where Jones
u Brown had set up bankrupt sale OF
gloves. The gloves had been marked
down to $3.50 pair. Jones was present
"Gif you SeVenty-fife cents" said
Moses.
No"
Call it dollar ?"
mo"
"DOllar ten ?"
mo"
We'll, now, then, Wen be reasonable.
Call it $1.15 ?'
No, street.! exclaimed Jones, thor
/ oughly eXasperated, mot a cent less
thad 81 80" Add he seized the He
brew and fired him down stairs.
Now, it so happened that Brown was
coming up just then. and supposing it
was all right, he fired Moses down the
second flight. There he CHANGED to fall
against porter, who conceived it to be
the proper thing to assist matters, and
he fired the fellow down the steps into
the street. The Hebrew landed on all
tours, got up.and looked back at Brown
" Jones' establishment with evident
admiration. Mine gracious." he ex-
claimed, ''vOt a system.;'
Still, in railrOading. there's no posi-
| bitlty of SuitlDg everybody and setting
everybody at rights. l remember hear
| ING about an lrishman who once was
journeying by a slow train to Phila-
delphia. At Trenton, where they
stopped, they met one Of the magnifi-
ftf,I
and, while both halted, the Irishman
saw one of his friends in window of
the limited.
Come over" said Mike, land see how
travel.'
Meanwhile the limited resumed its
journey. The two irishmen noticed
this presently.
Wonderfully exclaimed Paddy.
Here we are, you're bound for Phila-
delphia, and l for New York, and-be
Jabers!-we're on the same train"
There'd be great deal less fuss in
the world il there weren't any IriShmen
in 1t. They're always doing something
to amuse other people and not knowing
1t themselves. There was one of them
once watching German who was play
ing trombone. Presently Dutchy laid
down his instrument and went out for a
beer. Paddy investigated, and promptly
pulled the hCrn to pieces. Dutchy re-
turned.
Who's meddled with my trombone?"
he asked Indignantly.
''Oi did," said Paddy. Here we've
been for two hours tryin' to pull it
apart, and l did it in one minute"
1believe I've remarked before that
one sees good deal of human nature
i'll travelling in railway cars. and it's
just the same the other side of the wa
ter that it is here. One day in subur-
ban tram car in London that got into
the seats were all full but one very va
cant place. Man, very drunk, hanging
TO a strap, tries to sit down. Another