The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-03-06
MISCELLANEOUS.

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United States Fish Commission, il
Washington, D. c., has been exhausted
no more will be issued before next fall
Van Holstein, Jr. saw what
would YOU do, father, if l gave up my
CAV life, don't you know, and come Il
settle down quietly at home?" Var
Holstein, sr.--"Well, l should fee
strongly inclined to kill a calf."-N. Y,
Herald.
"A negro about dying was told by his
minister that he must forgive certain
darkey to whom he seemed to entertaiE
very bitter feelings. "Yes, sah," he
replied, ''if l dies, forgiv dat nigga,
but if l gets well dat nigga must take
care"
The New Minister.-First Fair Par.
ishioner-"Isn't the new minister hand
some?" Second Ditto Ditto-"Isn't he,
though?" Third Ditto Ditto-They say
he's engaged to 6 RI in Wayback
Omnes-''The homely old thing. Yam
kee Blade.
"A short-sighted gentleman chooses
a pair of spectacles. "These glasses"
he says, ''are not strong enough for
me-" "But, sir, they are No. q"
"What have you next to No. %" 'No.
l." ''And after that?" after No. /,
sir, you will want dog!"
"A Birch Run, Mich, family sends
the children to the country school, sew
eral miles away, in a peculiar manner.
1t has an eminently safe horse. The
children drive to school in the morning,
! 10 f0r h0,,a nnd ho
promptly returns. In the afternoon he
is sent after them in the same driverless
way.
Beyond It's ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Ito customer)-"O, yes, we can take
any thing with this instrument. 1t is
very fine one" Customer-''Well, i
want a dozen cabinets and will call
around in thirty days and pay for them"
Photographers beg your pa'don, but
! neglected to state that it would not
take a risk like that. Washington
Star.
The Amateur Farmer.-"Mine is a
model farm" said Barrows Il raise
potatoes of all kinds. In this field 1
plant onions and potatoes together. Re-
suit, 800 bushels of lyonaise potatoes to
the acre. Over in that field planted
fifty bushels of potatoes. In the spring
] ran stone crusher over the surface.
Result, $50 bushels of mashed potatoes
to the acre"
-Stiff.-Customer rubbing his stiff
fened fngers)-''Whew How is the
price of coal this weather." Dealers
New Boy with a stiff upper lip
"Purty stiff" Customer Blowing stiffly)
Huh! Stiff, Ell? How's the coal?"
New Boy (stiffening up)-"Well, as it's
been layin' outside in all this frost and
snow, the Goals purity stiff, too. IN.
Y. Weekly.
More cabin passengers arrived at
New York in 1890 on the ocean steamers
than ever before in the history of that
port. The steamers made a total of
914 trips, bringing 90, 1S9 cabin and ST.,
593 steerage passengers. British steam
ers made 364 of the trips and landed
54,971 cabin and 1859 steerage pas
sengers. During the total Ola trips
there were 40 births 60 deaths and II
suicides.
Just the Samoa retired actor
| Says JlldC ulIIC OuU VI Ccu nGu III INC
profession, no matter how good or bad,
whether leading man or bootblack, mag
inc that from ten to fifty females are
stuck on them in every town. This
feeling buoys them up when salaries
are in arrears, and gives them ambition
to take to the railroad track when the
bust-up com"s.-Detc2it Free Press.
Some of the most important dates
in American history are these: The dis
covery Of America by Columbus, Ocso-
Der IL, 1902; the landing of the Pilgrims
from the Mayflower, December 81, 1920;
the Declaration of Independence, July f.,
1776; the birth of Washington, February
%, 1882; the death of Washington, De-
cember IA, 1899; the attack on Fort
Sumter, April 10, 1861; the death of
Abraham Lincoln, April Is, 1865, and
the surrender of Lee at Appomattox,
April 8, 1865.
The New York Star tells of a man
who, in coming from Odessa, brought
with him small quantity of the best
Turkish tobacco. Before leaving the
vessel he spread it out and folded it in
large silk handkerchiefs and placed it
next the skin under his vest This in no
degree gave him suspicious fullness,
but it was as much as he could do to
walk ashore and tear this horrible poul-
tice from him. Tobacco thus applied is
one of the most powerful of emetics
Kate Field abominates dotted or
figured wells, and says they play into
the hands of the oculists and opticians.
She is also rightly denouncing the re-
turn to walking skirts that drag on the
ground. She thinks American women
living in our unclean cities can not af-
ford to import this fashion, but she does
not protest with much courage, remark
ing, 1.-The average city woman would
rather die than not be clothed in the
the latest style" She further objects
to the slaughter of singing birds for
ladies' hats.
There was society wedding in a
city not dozen miles from the State
House. 1t was literally an immense af-
fair, of which local paper said that to
mention those present would be to print
the "blue book" entire. One of the
guests, in looking over the vast array of
IN ;h;tian ca;1 EE\VLx,