The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-01-02
BRIGHT BITs.

| A BEATRICE YOUNG MAN has become insane
| from being disappointed In love. This ought
| to contradict the wise assertion that love has
| nothing TO do with reason or common sense.
Omaha World Herald.
A SCHOOL TRUSTEE of one. Of the largest up
town wards recently entered one Of the public
schools, and said: "Boys, haven't been here
in quite while. Have you missed me?"
NO, sir, ;" shouted forth the boys in chorus
The Epoch.
THE permanent art building of the exposition
will be none the less credit to the city if it is
not called palace We have tonsorial pal
aces, palace sleeping cars, whisky palaces, and
palace stock cars Let us try to struggle
along with Just plain art gallery.-ChicdgO
Mail
JUDGE to witness}-Who are your
Witness (whois physician)-I am an insane
expert, your honor.
Judge with dignity)-Oh, you are2 Well, get
out of this We don't want any crazy people
giving testimony in this court washington
YER LOOK BAD, Jim. Been under the
weather?
"Sorter. To-day's the first time I've been
out-er-doors in three months"
What was the matter with you?"
"Nothin'; but the judge wouldn't believe it."
Life.
DISTRACTED WOMAN lat the police station
Q, sir, I've lost my poor old father This morn
ing he wandered away, and fear for his safety,
Police Sergeaut-In that case, madam, we
will soon find him. He is walking on the rail
way track.-Ptck
MIcHAEL-I'm sorry to see Parnell's man
beaten over in Kilkenny.
Patrick Sure, an so am I. But there's wan
consolashon.
And what is that, PATTI"
'Sure, it was an Irishman that bate him
loflNerS Statesman
WHAT is love? 'Tis not hereafter;
Present mirth hath present laughteRt
WHAT'S to come is still insure;
In delay there is no plenty;
Then come kiss me sweet and twenty;
Youths q stuff will not endure
-Trelfth NIGHT
WoMAN-Oficer, where is the car that goes
past the central station?
0fhcer-It will be along in minute, ma'am
and I'll show it TO you. A minute elapses
There's your car, lady Hurry, and you may
catch it.
Woman-Oh, I don't want to take the car till
tomorrow, officer; l just thought I'd come
down to-day and see what it looks like.-Buf-
tdlo Express.
THEY tell a wicked story of a scion of a dis
tnguishei Massachusetts family. whose men,
bers are noted for their frigid temperament
The gentleman was en- route to Europe on
crack Atlantic tlier that just grazed an iceberg,
narrowly escaping disastrous collision. He
was asleep in his berth at the time, but when
awakened by the shock, said with great DELHI
Grafton: You need not knock again father;
come in."-Bostop Traveller.
AT The PERIOD of Mr. Tyler's elevation to the
presidency, there lived In Cupepper county
Virginia, an odd genius named Jack D., who
was quite character in his way. Soon after
the inauguration Mr.. D. went in person to visit
| the President and said blunty. Mr.. Tyler l
want you to give me office" The President
amused, doubtless, at the freshness of this style
OF application, said, well, Mr. D.. what sort of
an office do you want?" lone of the kind they
call the sine curees, Mr.. Tyler, with nothing to
| do and plenty of pay" replied the office seeker
| Richmond Religious Herald.
| A BUFFALO GENTLEMAN was travelling in
France, During his soJourn in Paris he was
| taken to one Of the clubs There he was intro.
| duced to several Frenchmen. With one of
| them he had a somewhat laughable converse
ton. you come from Boofalo n 'est-ce-pdas2''
asked the Frenchman. Yes; Buffalo is my
native place" Zen, you know great
Boofalo Bills it notg" The Buffalonian re-
| fected before answering the question Not
| speaking French very WELL and the Frenchman
understanding English but imperfectly. he de-
| cided the easiest way to answer was, YES
know Buffalo Bill very well. He belongs to one
| of our first families" well, maybe you know
Eat ozxer Bill-zat Mckinley Bill. Who is herr
| -Bu1dlo Express.