Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1891-10-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A catch phrase 'em!"
A tagging industry stopping trains.
-Battimore american.
Gay circles naturally indulge in rounds
of pleasure. Baltimore Anaerican.
A Western farmer recently threshed
100 bushels of wheat and two tramps in
one day.-Boston Bulletin.
81 have misgiving in this affair" as
the father said when he gave away the
bride. Baltimore Americaa.
Bessie-"Aren't the breakers lovely!"
MilEcent-"Yes, but I'd rather they
were brokers. ."-Brooklyn Life.
The most popular reading nowadays
are the cereal stories from Russian
sources. - Rochester Post Express.
'Avoid the very appearance of evil"
does not mean that you must cover up
your rascality. y.-DaLlas (7'era) Neoos.
When genealogical tree has many
branches the descendants should keep
shady about it.-Ne,o Orleans Picayune.
"Your views meet with my approval"
said the customer, as he bought some
photographs from ler-NeU York
Journal.
Never disturb a contempative man.
1t is never safe to approach too near a
train OF thought when it is in motion. -
Richmond Recorder.
Jessie-'I don't see how a woman can
kiss man who chews." Jack-"She
has to take out her gum first, of course"
-Nelo York Herald.
''Thls circumstance adds weight to the
step am about to take" remarked the
convict, as he glanced down at his chain
and ball.-Baltinsore american.
First Fisherman-"What luck are
you having over therea" Second Fisher.
man-"First rate; the harder it rains
the drier | get. "-Nel0 York Herald.
81 sec Jack aud Mollie have made I'D
again. Why was the engagement ever
broken?" "They had quarrel as to
which loved the other most. Life.
Shakspere in the Kitchen: tLet every
man get his dessert, and which of us
shall 'scape whipping2" sadly remarked
the cream to the eggs. s.-Ba5tinsore Ameri.
can.
Hay Fever Victim-"Doctor, can't YOU
tell me how I can ind relief from this
constant inclination to sneeze?a" Physi-
cian-"Y Yes, sir. Sneeze. ~ Chicaqo Tri-
buae.
81 cannot see why do not get along
better, am not one of those fellows who
want the earth, either" mo; what
you want is the sand" -lndiaaapolis
Journal.
Quilter-'I suppose, Fakes, you have
the entree to all the theatres2" Fakes
1.-THE critic)-"Yes; but, you see, usu-
ally give them roast in return. BIS.
tor Post.
swell! If that isn't the meauest trick
l ever heard of" "What" "They
have sent an ossified man as a missionary
to the Cannibal Islands. ~ lndianapolis
Journal.
Bilkins-"After all, the country is
the place. How different from the city
No dust, no noises, no everlasting grind
of business" Jill1ins-"Yaas but above
all, no duns. Grip.
BY and by some brilliant inventor will
get up travelling carriage for the use
of distinguished men, to be propelled by
the force now wasted in shaking hands
en- route. philadelphia Tinss
Tommy-"Paw, what are wings of the
windF The wind does not have real
wings, does ita" Mr.. Figg-"No. That
is merely poetic expression for side
whiskers. ."-Indianapolis Journal.
81 kissed her. vhv thnse nantino l;nsp
kissed her only once.
Ii faultit was, twas small indeed"
Ah, poor, shorted-sighted Ounce,
Who cannot see she pouts because
You only kissed her once
Omaha Bee.
Papa-'I understand, daughter, that
new suitor of yours is baseball celebri-
tyF Daughter-"Yes, papa, he is the
greatest short stop in the country"
Papa-"Short stop, eha Well, hope
he will remember his specially when he