Morning journal and courier., 1891-05-05
IDEAS.

A mans idea of heaven is a place where every one is as good as he is.-Atchison Globe.
 The Singular Girl-My only ambition is
 to write book. The Practical Girl-Well, | why don't you write one, then? The Sin
 gular Girl-Why, if did shouldn't have any ambition left, should I2--Munsey's B Weekly.
 Hardtack-How are you getting along | with your new clerkl Is he good mans Clambake-He works like a charm. Did you ever see a charm work? Hardtack-I | never did. Clambake-Well, that's him." -America.
 Where Marriage was a Failure.-Briggs Poor Robinson. After his wife died he | married her dressmaker. Grigg-How are they getting on? Briggs-I understand that he still owes her the emoney.-Clothier and Furnisher
 George-Miss Courtney, the girl I used to call on before we were engaged will sit behind us at the theater tonight. Ethel-Will she? Just wait minute; think my high hat is more becoming than this toque.- Weekly. ..... In Art Circles-'De you think, Meis- sonier," said Corot, one day, "that Millet has gone to heavena" "No, mon Dieu, no" "And why not, praya" of Millet were in heaven, the coloring of the skies would not so frequently be atrocious. Life. Trials of a Judge-''Witness, will you tell me who left the place first and what happened afterwardsF' "Your Honor, first Hans ran off, and then Sepperl, and | then l." 'And then?" "Then? Why, then we were all three gone. From File gende Blatter.
 'Bunko Bill," said the old settler, "was very wicked man" 'Steal horses" | asked a bystander "Worse'n that" said the bystander. "Worse'n that" said the old settler again. ''How could that be?'' asked the bystander, and the old settler | replied: "Got caught. ."-Somerville Jour nal
 sI think" said the business man, ''that | I will for time retire and take rest" "Are you overworkedf' asked a friend. ''Yes," he replied, ''that's it. I have
 been worked by three tramps, book agent and several other people within the last three days, and I don't think I can
 stand any more. Washington Post. First oficer-What was that noise over on your beat?
 l Second oficer-A man stole watch from
 8 little boy, and the boy cried. l "Did you arrest the man?" l 'Why, no; the man was qulet enough;
 but the boy made great noise, so I arrest
 ed him for disturbing the peace. ."-Boston | Courier.
 A Cure For Insomnia.-There is young
 doctor up town who will have to improve
 his methods or he will never have patients enough to maintain him. A woman came
 in to see him only two days ago looking
 haggard and pale. "Well," he said, "what
 is it?" sI'm troubled with insomnia" she
 sighed. 'What shall do forit?" "Sleep
 it off, madam; sleep it off," he advised
 curtly, and asked her for $2.-Detroit Free | Press.
 A colored preacher quoted we'll known
 passage in Shakespeare thus: "As we
 travel along the road whence the travellers
 bones never return" A minister in the
 south, who was a very small, slender man
 once had a fervent prayer offered in his
 behalf commencing as follows: 70 Lord
 bless this thy gigantic servant, who thor
 has set over us for the extermination oi
 the gospel Bless him, o Lord, with un
 mitigated ages of the world to come!"-
 American Missionary.