The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1891-06-03

and aceuous. besides many other narses
that were entirely new to US
We saw them stop at each house where
boxes of the same style they carried
were hanging from the front door knobs
Our curiosity was excited. and forget
ing for the moment our hunger we
hastened our speed. determined to in
vestigate We saw one of them take t,
small quantity of something that resem
bled the homeopathic pellets we kept IN
our medicine chest and drop them in the
box that hung from the door knob Then
away he ran to the next house and re-
peated the operation. As far as we could.
see these red robed boys were darting1
here and there, crossing each others
paths like June firefiies before a storm
We watched them a while. but our
clamoring appetites sent US again in
search of food We turned many cor
ners and followed long lengths of streets.
but not sign of anything eatable could
we discover Just as we were becoming
thoroughly discouraged a man with
fresh. pleasant face and a well fed ap.
pearance opened the door and lifted the
box from the knob Not without some
known our situation
He stared at US moment as the boy
had done | began to grow impatient
I'VE are strangers. sir, and are hun
cry" | said Will you kindly direct
us to provision store?'
1T is surprise to me-" he replied
to meet with the people who are so very
far behind the times. From what distant
nj 4 al.
ilized city and ask for provision storet
Why, my dear friends. there has been
nothing of the sort in this part of the
world for many years.
How. then. do you manage to live.
asked
He tapped the box with his plump
forefinger. and nodded his head signifi-
cantly
Here. sir. is my provision store, and
without more ado he lifted the lid 1t
was divided into several compartments,
in each of which was a small quantity
of pellets of different shapes and colors
You surely don't mean to say that
you eat nothing but these nasty pills.
said my wife in rather a sarcastic tone.
And why not, my dear madame?"
said he. holding brown pellet between
his thumb and forefnger. and cycling it
fondly. here is the nutriment from
pound of beef. And here picking up
another, lis pound of potatoes Then
here l have my bread and fruit, in proper
proportions. besides many other com
pounds. equally nourishing and. satisfy
ing
of course we were very much inter
ested, and asked for some further in
formation concerning this wonderful
country with its condensed diet.
After swallowing half dozen pellets
with evident relish. he continued:
lit was many years ago that party
of chronic dyspeptics, who were travel
ing in search of health, discovered this
beautiful valley and decided on making
it their future home. AS might be ex-
pected. their thoughts turned inward.
and their minds were a unit in their
anxiety to discover a remedy for their
ills. Great rewards were offered, and
science was tested to its extreme limits.
Behold" said he, pointing proudly to the
smoking chimneys and buzzing facto-
ries, ''behold the results! The products
of the surrounding country are entered
at the rear of these buildings as raw ma
terial, and are distributed from the
front doors in this condensed form, And
now. after several generations of pellet
fed people, we have become a race of
perfect men and women
"Our latest achievement is a genera
ton of toothless children. AS we have
no use for teeth with this diet we are
well satisfied with this improved condi-
ton of our race. There is only one
drawback to our perfect happiness. We
are beginning to fear that we shall never
die, but continue to multiply until we
are crowded off into space
"Oh, Tom, my wife exclaimed. what
a delightful existence we have stumbled
upon! understand now why the houses
are built without kitchens 1t settles
the whole vexatious servant problem at
one stroke. Just think of it-condensed
meals that one can easily carry in their
bonbon boxes are delivered the same as
our daily papers. Think of the annoy
ances these people escape, the time they
save, besides the perfect health they en-
JOY Tom. my dear. we will go no far
ther in search of home Here is an
earthly paradise. and here we will re-
main.
AT signal group of red robed boys
surrounded our cart and she gave her
order for pellet breakfast--H. T. Hol-
land in Detroit News