The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1891-08-29
WANTED---A GOOD EATER

WANTED---A GOOD EATER
The advertisement read: "Wanted-
Four young ladies. Must be fine look
ing and of engaging manners" Invent.
The establishment was an eating saloon.
Over its door glazing fat letters of gold
informed me and all passers by that it
was Restaurant for Ladies and Gen
tlelnen." Everything in it was brand
new and quite tasteless-gaudy. A
shiny, veneered partition to one side
had another gold lettered sign glued to
it. Cash Department" Under this sign
was little window set upon marble
slab, and in the little window the face
and shoulders of man. The face was
very red, very wrinkled and very fierce.
The head to which the face belonged
was very small, with scanty stiff black
hair on end all over it. The shoulders
upon which the head was set had
pigeon breasted trunk between them,
and were very narrow and very sloping.
AS / came in the man put his little
head out of his little window and looked
eagerly and iercely at me. walked up
to his window and told him why l came
He could see but the upper part of me.
Stand back" he said. I did SO, and
he looked me over.
II want girls" he said; "but-can you
eat?"
His question surprised me. Most girls
can. l could. Just then l was very
hungry. l was embarrassed, not by my
ability to eat, but by his question. !
hesitated.
Can you eat-much?" Very fierce,
indeed, did he look as he repeated and
amended his question.
Am to eat here, sir?" asked trem-
biiDgly.
"Eat2 Of course!" said he.
Now, did not understand whether he
wanted me TO scrub the floors, wash the
dishes, take the money or what, but
did understand, thought, that he was
Specializing with a view to economy
upon my ability and inclination to de-
vOur much or to live upon nothing. So,
always truthful as l am, l answered, II
am very small eater, sir"
Won't do" said he.
''Sir?" said L
Won't do! Don't suit!'
was sorely disappointed. Tears came
to my eyes. My eyelids and my lips.
too, trembled.
Don't cry-in here!" he said fiercely.
Don't cryl Sorry-very sorry-can't
holv 1op
lis my appearance not what you de-
sire, sir?' ventured to ask.
Look well-you're a beauty-very
sorry-can't engage your
Although was somewhat doubtful Of
my rank as beauty, knew myself to
he a passibly good looking girl, and
readily forgave him his exaggeration;
especially as | did not understand my
beauty to be bar to my engagement.
my manners, sir" said, "are good
engaging. If you could see Inc wait at
table, say for one day, if that is what
you want help for
wait at table-nothing! Got walters
-lotsl Don't suit-won't dol"
You doubt my ability to please? You
judge Of my usefulness or my manners
without having had opportunity
mo, no. no! Manners charming! But
you don't suit-won't dor
Queer, thought. You're a beauty!
Manners charming! Don't suit and
won't do. Why? Wherefore? Curiosity,
as well as want, stimulated me to ask
the fierce little man: "Why don't suit
you, sir?"
Then, 6ercer than ever before, he
said: Don't bother-any more! Small
eater-don't suit-wont dol" And he
slammed u book upon his marble slab
and moved away from his little window
to get rid Of me.
reflected that it might have been
well for me to have asserted that / did
not eat at all, but was bright enough,
even in that moment Of disappointment
and vexation, to appreciate that he
would not have credited the statement.
Then I was outraged by his assumption
that must be a glutton simply because
of my claim to temperance and modera.
ton in eating. Angered by this and by
his unreasonable rebuffs, knowing he
would hear me behind his gaudy parti
ton, l said while moving toward the
door: What meannessl If had oppor
tunity would eat yon out Of house and
homer
"Hey2 What's 'at?" he yelled, as he
bounced back into his little window and
stuck his fierce little head through it al
me. whats at? Eat house and home
Heya Hey?" He looked 30 alarmingly
fierce that. in fear that he might eat me
my progress to the door-and out-wal
very much accelerated
But before knew it he was at my
side, on the adjoining sidewalk. IA
eeixad my hand. and half nulled. bal