The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-09-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


with winding sheets.-Life.
The mercury enjoy sunny climb
now. a-days -Binghamton Republican.
Every dog has his day, but it is a
mean cur that will bark at night.-LDe.
Good laws are of little avail when bad
men are depended upon to enforce them.
Te1dS Sittin9S.
Gummey-"Bunting is right in the
swim Gargoyle-''Yes; and he finds
It difficult to keep his head above wa
ter. "--J'tdge.
"Well, Hardup, did you succeed in
raising anything on your promise to
payl" "Oh, yes; l raised a smile. y
Baltimore american.
Oh, yes; there is skeleton in the
closet in every family, but it is so COM
mon a thing that we make no bones of
lt.-BoSton Transcript.
"There are some unpleasant features
in this business" muttered the phetc-
grapher as he surveyed row of his pa
rons.-Baitimore american.
Sarcastic yell after a dude in loud +.
plaid trousers: "Say, get them chloro-
formed quick, or dey'll ring out tho
paytrol. ."-Philadslphia Record.
"Please give me glass of soda water
without any suds on it," was the order
small boy gave at local drug store the
other day.-Binghamt0 Leader.
"When l marry" explained the lieu
tenant, "my wife must have sufficient
dowry for me to support her both in
style and comfort. Fiiegende Blaetter.
"Ohicago1 Chicago2 Oh, yes; that's
the name of place or the Illinois Cen
tral Railroad" "Indeed! Which side
of the track is it on!"-DetroH Free
Press.
Justice-"What's the charge against
this prisoner2" Officer O'Fagau-"Dis-
sayin' ther perlace, yer honor. lle put
ther sound soide av his apples on ther
outsoide. - Yale Record.
"That by av moine IL make his mark
in the wurrul2," said an Irishman. "He
will that same" replied his neighbor,
'if it's only by putin is fut in the
mud. - Washington Post.
The tuft-hunting American young
woman of fortune, when she reaches the
other side of the water, exclaims, in the
language of the turf; "Put up your
dukes. boston Transcript.
In Australia they use eggs for cur
rency. When the Government wants to
work up strong money market it sim
ply fails to redeem its circulation for u
favU xuaaEg nyusv;TIo D..as-a
The most trying circumstances under
which boy can be is when another boy
is in the alley winking at him and his
father is Offering him nickel to carry in
a pile of wood.-T'e5aS S0tngs.
Briton-"If you are such a rampant
American, should think you would re-
main where Americans are most appre-
ciated." American-'I do-in London
and Paris. Kate Fields Washington.
A Chicago man has invented an eletric
drill with which he proposes to bore a
hole to the center of the earth. Maybe
he will decide TO bore clear through tho
earth, and make a whistle of it.-Nel0
York. Sun.
Lady Ito tramp)-"This is tho third
time you have called here to-day"
Tramp-''It is true, madam; but l am
sure you wouldn't want man to get
along with any less than three meas
day Cape Col Hem.
This" said the Snowman, sis the
largest elephant in the world. lie eats
eighteen bales of hay at one mouthful,
an never takes no exercise OWN TO the
expense of tearin' down tho bulldiu' to
get him out of it."-Judge.
The time when the Northmon ravaged
the coasts of Great Britain, Germany and
France is called the "barbaric age"
These same nations now shell the villages
of the helpless natives of the South Pa
cifc isles in the name of "ciyilization.
1t all depends upon whose tiger is loose.
-Byston Globe.
Attorney TO witness) is your
age, siri' Old Beau-"What has that
to do with the caseln 81 insist uponan
answer (After pausel II was Just
five years old at the breaking out of the
war "What warl' (With extreme
re'uctancel "The Blackhawk war. -
Cbiedg0 Tribune
"What wonderful progress the science
of optics has made in the past ten yearsl
The difficult complaints, astigmatism,
myopia, hyper0pia, ermetropia aud 9TH
ers, have been found" "There is one
thing | cant understand. 'NNhat's
thati" "How they found out their
names ih-.leneleFy' CiroulQr.