The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-12-06
AMATEUR ASTRONOMY.

Virginia astronomer announces that
the moon is 10000 miles nearer US than it
used TO be, on account of volcanic disturb
ance, which has thrown her out of her
course. II she continues to buck and kick
In that way, 1.-THE devils in the moon for
mischief" sure enough. Should it turn
out that the body of that luminary is
stuffed with dynamite and giant powder
some lunar H. d. WALKER, like the one
VINO made a fire cracker out of himself in
the attempt to blow up RUSSELL SAGE the
other day, may some time set them off and
completely unshift the moons gearing
and let her loose upon the alright
ed universe. Who knows that Mrs.
CHARLES P. JOHNSON, of Kansas, the lady
that has appointed Christmas day next for
the destruction of the earth, has not had a
tip foretelling of such a catastrophe? The
prophets of our own sphere, who predict
cyclones and earthquakes, may possess the
occult power to perceive what is going to
happen with the planetary system, and as
Tor IHE HERALD, we are inclined to credit
their knowledge Of occurrences in other
worlds rather more than their assumptions
OF prescience in this.
Now there is Prof. WIGGINs, the Cana
dian astronomer, to whom we refer with
sincere apologies to his brother scientist,
Prof. FOSTER, of St. Joseph, Mo. Prof. w.
within the last fortnight has upset our pre-
viously conceived notions of astronomical
mathematics by declaring that the moon,
instead of being only 100000 miles distant
from Salt Lake, is probably nearer 5000,
adding the startling information that 1--WE
cannot possibly even guess the distance of
any OF the heavenly bodies, either from US
or from the sum-" Such being the case,
The HERALD hastens to withdraw its de-
auctions last Sunday concerning the planet
JUPITER, wherein we doubtless made many
OF our readers dizzy with the array of fig
ures. And to say the truth, we always did
think there was a MUNcHAUsEN air of the
marvellous shout the measurements, the
hyperbolic and Naperian logarithms with
which the sizes, the orbits and other puz-
cling statistics of the celestial architecture
are mingled.
But whilst it may, as WIGGINs says, be-
all guess work relative to the statute or
geographical miles between the heavenly
luminaries, reason as well as faith teaches
that they are not engineered and conducted
on the chance principle, in their trips up
and down the solar and sidereal tracks. So
we look askance at all such statements as
those Of the Virginia star-gazer who wants
US to believe the moon has been DETECTED
some 10000 miles out of her course by vol
canic or magnetic influence. The story
that large planet that was once in the
habit of going its rounds between the
orbits of MARS and JUPITER, had bursted
and formed four asteroids, has been shown
up to be an invent ton of some former JOE
MULHATTAN. WIGGINs declares, however,
that BECLAs' comet did explode few years
ago into two parts, though we suspect it
was the astronomers glasses that made
him see double.
The great fear of many people who are
always apprehensive that things they are
not managing are sure to go wrong, has
been that our little earth, which is SO small
that GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN can in two
months reach round it, would get top
heavy and tumble into the sun. Such
disaster, so distressing, particularly to the
unirrigated reg ons, is, we are reloiced to
learn from reliable scientific source, ex-
ceediugly improbable. The electric force
of both would prevent. This, to be sure
is not quite clear to the primary class in
world collisions, but any good reason is
sufficient. AS to the moon, Prof WIGGINs
tells US that if she should suddenly balk in
her orbit and strike for the earth, she
couldn't catch up; and as for the earth
dropping into the sun, it would require
until 1904-the day of the month is not
given-to make landing.
Much as The HERALD is opposed to
trusts, we do hope the sensational sky
inspectors will not disturb our trust in the
moon-the free silver moon-the argentine
republic among the star-crowned and dia-
DENIED monsrchies of the royal arch.