davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
The Life of Appls Trees.

The average life of an apple tree is
rated by the Gardeners Monthly at
fifty years But, of course, individual
trees often reach a hundred years or
more when well cared for. Thousands
of apple trees, however, like men, die
early from neglect and bad treatment.
The cutting away of large limbs is one
frequent cause of ruin and death. The
unprotected wound causes an early de-
cay of the wood and then death. In
old orchards trees may frequently be
found which are mere shells, little of
the trunks being left beside the bark.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Letting the Cat Out.

Featherstone-Isy your sister In?
Little Willie-Yes; but she's sewing
a button on a coat and you may have a
long time to wait
81 don't see why? It shouldn't take
long to sew a button on coat"
SIT does when there's a man in it,
Clothier and Furnisher.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Matter of MoneY.

"My daughter will receive five thou
sand dollars on the day she marries
you," said a Texas father to a sutton for
his daughters hand "She will receive
five hundred dollars and the rest from
time to time as my circumstances justi-
fy it."
That's all right. my dear sir" re.
piled the youth. ''but hadn't we better
wait with the marrying until we get
everything together? Texas Siftings.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
On Pemberton Square.

First Bostonian-I hear a great deal
Of fault found with the new courthouse
Second Bostonian-Yes, but there ap-
pears to be little ground for complaint,
as it was certainly built on the square.
Boston Herald
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Playing . Trump Card

Miss Loewenstein-No, Isaac; dot en-
gagement was all up. 1 see by der ba-
per dot your father vas burned out last
night!
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures, my lofe, vos
You mad? Der oldt man has given me
dot insurance bolicy, and we vas twice
as rich as peforel@Judge.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14

Tramp-Madam. / wish to tell you
that your generosity saved my life
Lady-Ah, remember; i gave you q
pie
Tramp-Yes; pawned it and bought
food!-Munsey's Weekly.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Deferred Settlement.

A Deferred Settlement.
Highwayman-Your money or your
life.
Mr.. Slowpay-Aw-rm sorry to say
I'm out of funds just now; but can't we
compromise matters? Suppose I give
you a little thirty day note.-Puck.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A FARMERS INVENTION.

A Whih1etree That Does Not Bark
Trees In Nursery Rows.
C. F. Lee sends to the Orange Judd
Farmer the sketch here shown and
writes: While in the nursery business
I needed some kind of a whifdetree
that would not bark the trees in
the nursery rows, so I invented the fol-
lowing: Take piece of hard wood 9
inches square by 20 inches long. Make
a clip (a) for center of 5z-inch rod 10
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
At the Cluh.

Plunket-He's a vulgah feIlah- he Ia
In twade. / shall black-ban him.
Schley-That is fatal didn't know
he was in business By the way
PUNK. how are you killing time nowap
lays?
Plunkett-Bweedingf fox terwiers. g
1sual-Puck.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
The Ruling Passion.

General Bronson is q fine lawyer,
but he still shows the effects of his
military training"
'sIn what respect-discipline?"
''No. In the magnificent way In
which he charges Bazaar.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Question of Decree.

Mrs Bingo - My dear. you are late
again, as usual
Bingo-Yes, darling, had to stop at
the tailor's and order pair of trousers.
Mrs Bingo-I suppose (snih) If you
had ordered suit he would have given
you a whole bottle of whisky.-Jury.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Easy to Follow.

Pompous Author Ito veteran editor)-
What would you advise a man to do
whose ideas are in advance Of the
times?
Veteran Editor (promptly)-I would
advise him to sit quietly down and wait
for the times to catch up.-Drake's
MAGAZINE
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
TO BE Continued
No Head for Business.

Hands-up Ike-Hand out your vally-
bulSl
Lord Wishty- Werome-My deah sir;
you'll have to speak to me valet in the
smoking carwiage. He carwies all me
money, and attends to all me business,
doncher knOw.-Puck.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Lather.

Tom-It has always seemed funny TO
me that people should consider politics
50 dirty. Politics ought to be the clean
est of all things
Dick-Why so?
Tom-Because It consumes SO much
soap.-Chicago Times
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
An Artificial Pixies Peak.

Mr.. Gotham-They tell me Chicago II
going to have a tower higher than the
Eiffel tower. at the exposition
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures Our
tower is to be SO high that from the top
you will be able to see the whole Of
Chicago, suburbs and an-N. Ys
Weekly
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
SHADOW PICTURES.

How to Make q Goats Head, Swan and
o Rabbit.
Ny little friends are having such
Zreat fun with the shadow pictures I
told them about some time ago that
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Fatal to Piefy.

Wool-Why are you so sure Blifkins'
piety will be short lived?
Van Pelt-He had birthday
yesterday, and his wife gave him a
fountain pen,-Munsey's Weekly.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14

LIKE the planets, the sun is all the
time spinning like top. It turns round
once in about Is days and hours. NOV
ing always from east to west
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Considefnts Wife.

Grocer-A broom, madam? Yes1sof,
or hard broom do you prefer?
Mrs Tangle-A soft one, please.
always treat my husband - gently a
can.-Light
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
New Railroad Purchase.

a New katroed Purchase
Day-The secret Of Mr.. Gould's south
ern trip is out at last
Weeks-What is it?
Day-He was trying to get an option
ON Mason and Dixon's line.-Munsey's
Weekly,
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Is sNf7g 80 s.SllaI
{ - KssllGEk
Z a'jfal 30
A Story Of the Late War.
nx BERNARD n1csnY,

Author Of Loyal at Last" my Lady Fantas-
tic" "E1len's Great Secret. FELL
Among Thieves" Etc.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14

finger Of the left hand is bent at the
second joint and touches the top of the
thumb little above the first joint. The
other three fingers are held straight out
and very close together.
Figure No. 8 shows rabbit about to
jump. The hands are crossed so that
the right hand is on top and its
knuckles just above the knuckles Of the
left hand The first finger and thumb
of the right hand are brought together,
the middle finger held a little up from
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Diacovery.

Maud-George told me last night ]
was his little ducxi
Ethel-He probably discovered that
you were no chicken--Life-
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
He Remembered.

Brown-Did your uncle rememberyou
In his will?
Jones (sadly)-Yes, he remembered
me.
''What did he leave you?"
Nothing.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
Love Proved by Hat,

Love Proved by Hate
Amy-I am sure that Charley loves
me.
Ethel-What makes You 50 sure?
Amy-Although he doesn't say 30.
can see that he hates al my relativeA-
Munsey's Weekly.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A New 1Ieasuremens OF Time.

Hassenger-How long win 1t be BE-
fore we get into New York. porter?
Porter-Bout . Quartah Of Q donahs
sah.-Judge.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
They Elutter BY.

They F1utter By.
'sOh, mammal" exclaimed little Maidie
as a bright-winged insect passed the
door. s:here goes afutter-byi"-Judgs
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14
A Rfdiculoua Idea-

Mabel-Oh, deari I've lost my diary
Amy-Wen, you didn't expect to keep
Il very long. did you?-Puck-
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14

WCIc Oh Ills 1Ou Will
bear no written message, which might
get you into trouble if you were caught
by the enemy. And you will ride the
best part of the journey in company
with young farmer, who has promised
to be your guide-at any rate as far as
the Springfield pike, which will lead
you to General Lyons headquarters.
As for money, you had better go well
heeled, for a silver shield is often a
mans best protection"
He pulled out his purse as he spoke.
Don't mind that, SIR" Frank said,
hastily. II have more about me now
than it is perhaps prudent for me to
carry"
"Wel1, spare no expense. You shall
not be the loser. Now to rest, for you
will have heavy day before you. I
will see you in the morning and give
you final instructions"
And the last words Frank heard as he
left the Coloners tent were:
IF any thing happens to that boy,
Hopkins, shall never forgive myself"
Cold and gray the morning broke,
though it was in early August Frank
had slept the sleep of the weary, and it
seemed to him as if he had not lam on
his blanket more than a short hour
when an orderly reused him for the
days adventures.
He sought at once the Colone1s tent,
where he found a good meal awaiting
him, which he had hardly dispatched
when Colonel Fulton himself entered
'sNow," he said, ''for your instruc-
lions. Ride your hardest, but do not
kin your horse by OVERRIDING it Avoid,
as far as you can, all villages And.
when you reach General Lyon, tell him
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1891-05-14

Tramp-Madam, / wish to tell you
that your generosity saved NV life.
Lady-Ah, remember; gave you
pie
Tramp-Yes; pawned it and bought
food!-Munsey's Weekly.
Playing = Trump Card.
Miss Loewenstein-No, Isaac; dot en-
gagement was all up, / see by der ba-
per dot your father vas burned out last
night
Mr.. Oxstein-Rebecca, my lofe, vos
You mad? Der oldt man has given me
dot insurance bolicy, and we vas twice
as rich as peforel-Judge.
At the Club.
Plunket-He's a vulgah feIlah- he Is
In twade- / shall black-ball him.
Schley-That is fatal didn't know
he was in business By the way
PUNK. how are You killing time nowap
lays?
Plunkett-Bweeding fox terwiers, e
1sual-Puck.
An Artificial Pixies Peak.
Mr.. Gotham-They tell me Chicago Ia
going to have tower higher than the
Eiffel tower, at the exposition
Mr.. Lakeside-Yes-siree-b Our
tower is to be so high that from the top
you will be able to see the whole of
Chicago. suburbs and all-N. Ys
Weekly.
Tom-It has always seemed funny TO
me that people should consider politics
so dirty. Politics ought to be the clean
est of all things
Dick-Why so?
Tom-Because II consumes so much
soap.-Chicago Times.
A New Railroad Purchase
Day-The secret Of Mr.. Gould's south
ern trip is out at last
Weeks-What is it?
Day-He was trying to get an option
on Mason and Dixon's line.-Munsey's
Weekly.
He Remembered.
Brown-Did your uncle rememberyou
Jones (sadly)-Yes. he remembered
me-
"What did he leave you?"
'Nothing."-Light-
Love Proved by Hate
AMY am sure that Charley loves
me.
Ethel-What makes you 50 sure?
Amy-Although he doesn't say 90. I
can see that he hates al my relatives
Munsey's Weekly.
A Ridiculous Idea
Mabel-Oh, deari I've lost my diary
Amy-WeI, You didn't expect to keep
Il very long. did you?-Puck
Maud-George told me last night
was his little ducki
Ethel-He probably discovered that
you were no chicken--Life-
They F1utter BY.
"Oh, mammal" exclaimed little Maidie
as a bright-winged insect passed the
door. ''here goes a fiutter-byi"7Judgs-
a New Measurement OF Time
Hassenger-How long win It Be be-
fore we get into New York. porter?
Porter-Bout QuaxtGh Of . donahs
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

A good many people in New York
think they have mastered the secret Of
eternal youth, or at least of preserving a
youthful appearance far past the usual
date of crows feet and wrinkles.
The secret is "facial massage" All the
queer little burrows and wrinkles caused
by the plow>, harrows, horse rakes and
other figurative implements of Father
Time, are the result Of fixity of the
muscles, lack of elasticity, over-exercise
OF some and total disuse of others. All
this the masseur or masseuse undertakes
to cure by kneading and rubbing and
pinching the skin and flesh of the cheeks,
chin, forehead aud temples, by strokin q
the darkened rings under the eyes and
giving the features a general overhaul
ing. And it works, too. Only il an
amateur undertakes the job, the victim
is apt to exclaim: ''Ouchl You hurtI"
Why people should want to take all
the meaning and character out of their
faces in this fashion, and reduce them
selves to the likeness of smooth, pretty
dolls, / can't understand, but they do.
Even men are not seldom guilty of the
vanity.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29
Mr.. Howeli's Return.

Mr.. William Dean Howell's decision to
return to New York TO live is not sur
prising. Boston still remains the best
city in the country to sell books in but
hardly to write or publish them. 1t is
a little inconvenient to have 10 cross two
States to get to ones Office, as Mr. How
ellis has found
The author OF "a Modern Instance" is
a thoroughly good fellow and with
scarcely a trace OF the cynicism, and none
of tho snobbishness, which people fancy
they see In his work. He Is very witty,
courteous and companionable and, withal,
a sincere Socialist, who believes in Ma
tionslism In everything and is always
ready to go as far in its advocacy a. his
publisher will let him, as those who will
remember Conrad Dryfoos and Minister
Peck will readily admit. Some of the
more advanced Socialists are inclined to
find fault with Mr. Howell for not lbeing
more bold in his advocacy, but he has .
family to support and, really, man
must live.
It's very eesy to call . man literary
dude when you haven't seen him
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

Numbers Of yellow garters with golden
clasps, which are supposed TO insure the
maiden wearer . speedy marriage, aud
jeweled xarters Of other eolors. presuma-
bly, for those who don't want TO get mar
ried, are displayed in jewellers windows
nowadays How any modest young man
could dispose OF EN- or any modest
young woman could ask to buy them Of
q clerk of the other sex is moro than
can-but, there. IL is none OF my business.
The jewellers are making enamel dow
ers OF almost every kind that grows
convolvuius, pansies. peoples, clover
leaves Always a diamond dewdrop must
lie at the heart. Many . young man
wishes, when hs is selecting present for
his best girl, that the dewfall had not
been quite so heavy on the particular
flower she liked.
Checkerboard sleevebuttons are the
ugliest OF recent devices for displaying
ones wealth. These are nearly an inch
square, and divided mp in genuine
checkerboard style, the black squares in
jet, the white each a tiny diamond.
After all, there is not much comfort in
buying gems OF high price when Bowery
salesman at $l2 q week can wear Rhine
stones or paste that looks exactly like
them at 81 to 50 each according to size.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

,.uppose I ought to apologize for men
tioniuz newspaper matters so often, but
really they are the most interesting de-
v,lopmeuts in New York At present. The
sxht is bitter and remorselsss. Joseph
pulitrsr. called BY cable from = cruise on
his Yacht In the Mediterranean. has come
evinx home like an old lion ready for the
INV Col Cockerill. who gets great
credit for making the World" put on
nj. hsr one afternoon. melted thereto, II
4. said. NJ . cablegrsm ordering him
back to Sc. Louis. went over TO the Astor
House rotunds. and In three hours raised
she capital to back bis new venture.
some state the amount at =, 600 600. snd
say that part Of IL will be used to put mp
an. Hres. neNspaper Office in the country.
Col CockeriIl had not intended 20 begin
operations until fall, bus chance 70 buy
,b. Continent and Advertiser" and
.,r.r~. then, undsr the latter title was too
tempting 60 miss.
Nr Turner. the foruns- business msn-
.spr q the World j. also out and has
t.ksa hold ~ Tire Recorder, putting Ia
not eulT nonev, 81 which there vas
vI.ssv Before. but . rare executive ssil-
S.v. which was auit. - much needed
Col Taylor. 81 the Boston Globe, enc
Of .h. brainiess men in the business. 10
siso -.id 90 hsvs an interest under shs
new deal with Mr Turner and Mr. Dskss
n az. colonies viii be taick Oh Park
Rev. Mssawhi.e, good newspaper men
familizr With View York conditio5s are
mskisx lots - money
There = really ac resssn Why AT -.
e--~>as usuer. shouidu't do veil The
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

New Workers are having great fun Just
now at the expense of ex-President
Howell Of the Brooklyn Bridge. That
structure has always been managed or
managed, by a Board OF Trustees,
half from New York and half from
Brooklyn. A Brooklyn man has always
been president. At the last meeting the
New York men came over in body,
three Brooklyn Trustees were absent and
a New York man, Colonel Wags5aff, was
chosen President. Mr. Howell was fairly
dazed. He accepted the Office Of Vice
President, but next morning refused to
surrender tho Presidency to Wagstaf.
And great has been the fight over it,
The President of the bridge can be very
useful to his friends. The quarrel IS
merely Tammany against Mclaughlin,
the Brooklyn political leader, and is only
an incident OF q long standing jealousy.
1t helps TO complete the political ruin of
Mayor Chaplin of Brooklyn, for he was
not on hand at the meeting to vote for
the Brooklyn man. Once before Nc
Laushiin had to so to Mayor Chapin's
Office aud order him to 20 to Howelps
support. This time both were caught
mapping. so suddenly did Mayor Grant
spring his little plot upon them.
In Brooklyn there Is no disposition to
grieve with Mr.. Howell, as the misman-
agement Of the bridge. for which he is
mainly responsible. has been so scanda-
lous. Little instances illustrate this as
well "a big ones. When the floors of the
New York approach was laid the engin-
eer In charge permitted IL to slope to-
ward the middle. When it rains big
puddls collects This has never been
changed. but q lot of grstings were made
TO be thrown down in wet weather. The
ovsrcrowding OF the railroad is an &C
knowledged danger 20 life and limb at
rush hours. but for about four years alb
soIutely nothing has been done to rem
edy IL. In summer most of the trustees
go to Europe and there IL no quorum.
Truly. Americans are = patient people.
Perhaps things viii go better under the
Tsnmsny rule. and perhaps they won't.
They can't go worse.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

The strength which Flower is develop
ing in the New York canvass is s1rpris-
ing to some people. The fact that Mr..
Flower is most popular where he is best
known. up among the farmers Of Jeffer-
.on county, is certainly not against him.
The fact Is, Mr. Flower, though very
wealthy, is plain man personally. IL
easily approached aud never puts on sirA
OWN IASeDoN.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29
LOCAL NARkETS-


Gpax-wheat. asc: corn. &c: cats pc
rye. Sc: barley al ~ hundred.
Nssr-Bsef. tstfc; pork, g, mutton 80 =
spring lamb. lac, fowls. lie; spring ehieseas
2oc; veal. g.. turkeys. Fc 0geks f0c
PRoHrcs- Butter lie; Eggs iF, potatoes
e. . bn. beets. S~d4c dor; onicn- l5e dor
Strawberries. "a f21~c quart. rad shss Ire dor
hand picked trs ba honey. 10.
wow sshed. "a sc, unwsshed. lt1s)c
HsT-Timethy. SIS p ton; clover. tS = ton
strsw s. ston.
HfnEs 40 fsfxos-ffreen. Sc. part cured
See. cured hides. Sc, calf SKINS green -
calf ssias cured Sc tsiiow. &C. geifs
ssa.ts a tekfn fS1 80
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29

num Der Is not excessive, and the news
paper reading habit is becoming con-
stantly more 6xed. As for myself, don't
believe It's good plan 70 read nesspap-
srs too maeh- Be brief cut il down
no long sindsd stories the
recipe for the journalism of the future.
and the nsn who tries il frst Will make
moaey.
Telegram-herald. ([Grand Rapids, Mich.) 18??-1892, 1891-06-29
TOWER
Employment Bureau!
REAL ESTATE EXCHANGED
ROOMS 9 AND TOWER BLOCK.


DEGQLlA BKos-.........-.....Proprletors
WANTED HELP carpenters. 2 coachmen.
w ! 1anitor. stationery engineer. farm
hands. painters clerks. l. siris iof general
housewerA. second giriS. : COOK. dining
room girls. laundrcsses
no kACHANGE-B acres. - acres Improved.
ba.ance white ask Timber. iN-room house
snd hara. me orchard. s,res iow land an.
place IS situafef sisout =, NIL nm tte ~
south. Come n aud .ei fuil description.
E'oR SALE OR EAcHANGI- % acres on lake
shore. near the park, good buildings 2s1
peach trees IN hearing. - pear standards in
bearing, acres strawberries acres raspi.ef-
rics. 100 grapes gooseberfles and other small
fruits; rice 500; iruit on same viii paw for
IL the present ssSsans would eNchHuge FOR
good city property; this - great chance Tor
some one and the greatest bargain Ne have
ever offered
EoR sALE-6room boase ca Hall-st. GOOD
= Well and cistcrn handy 20 street cars. We
can sell you this house on monihly payments
In terms 10 suit drop Ia and see n. pitce siiD
E'ok sALt-smail house and barn Oh Pair
u ST.; Will sell on small payment down aud
moufhiy payments THIS h an excellent chance
To secure home la desirable location and
pay Tor n rent.
nor SALE-44 feet frontage on south Divi-
sion ST.. hne location for block. this
will be sold AT sacrifice Il same is taken With
In - days.
koR SALE-or Exchange-Nacanf lots on
Stewart hlIre add. a. Payment on a
house. worth about sl.so. inside old limits In
sogth part 81 city.
TOR SALE vacant lots on Piainneld.ave.
Just inside OF cid limits, the finest huIldias
spots IN the city.
TO ENCHANGE-For farm. good s-room
house ana barn ia - nth part % The CITY.
large lOt and well located. would ray some
difference.
no EXCHANGES acres land IN Barry ccun.
y. - miles from city. - acres Improved.
good building, fruit. well watercd anu splendid
soti. Irlcs ssyn.
10 EACHANsE-For good renting city prom
erty. ~ acres. Tine house. barn aud Out
buildings. 70 acres improved. balance oak.
beech and hickory timber. good fences 80
peach la apple. pears. pums aud small irut
trees. Price $50.
prGoLIA BROS.