The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1891-06-27


Houses. and where preachers is never
seen, and Ill show you place where
old hats ai: stuffed into broken winders.
wnere the cnliuren air dirJy ana ragged,
where gates have no hinges, where the
women are slipshod, and where maps of
the devils wild land air painted upon
mems shirt bosums with tobacco jooce!
That's what Ill show you. Let us cou-
slider what the preachers do for us before
we aboose EN-"
He sed he didn't mean to aboose the
clergy. Not ut all, and he was happy to
see that was interested in the Bonypart
family.
Its CRATE family" sed I. "But
they scooped the old man in"
Elbow, SIR"
"N.poleon the Grand. The Britishers
scuopeu him at W.4..rloo. lie wan.
to 10 too much, and he did it! The
scoopcd him in at Waterloo. and Il
subsekcntly died at St. Hcleny! There's
where the gratest military man this
world ever produced peyged out. It was
rather harl to consiae such man a3
him to st. Helcny, to spend his larst
days in catchin lnacEeril, and wal';in up
and down the dreary beach in military
cloak drawn titely round him. (seo pict-
er-books), but SO it was. He'd of tn,
Army! Them was his larst words. So
he had bin. He was CRATE! Don't
wish wo had pair of his old boots to
command sum of our Brigades!''
Nl>sc >o1-
warmly by the hand.
Alexander the Crate was punsins,"
continnered, "but Napoleon was puakia-
ser! Alic wept becaws there was no
more worlds to scoop, and then took to
drinkin. He drownlid his sorrers in the
flown bole, and the flown bole was too
much for him. 1t ginerallyis. He under.
took to give snake exhibition in his
boots, but it killed him. That was a
bad joke on Alic!
''Since you air so solicitous about
France and the Emperor, may ask YOU
how your own country is getting alonyy"
sed Jerome, in pleasant voice.
'It's Mixed" sed. "But think we
shall cum out all right"
Columbus, when he diskivered this
continent, could hav had 70
idee of the grandeur it would one day
assoom," sed the Prints.
1T cost Columbus twenty thousand
dollars to fit out his explorin expedition"
sed I. IF he had bin sensible MN
he'd have put the money in a boss rail.
ROAD or gas company, and left this
Inagnlhcent continent to intelligent say.
ages, who when they get hold of a good
thlng knew enuff to keep it, and who
wouldn't have seeded. nor rcbelled. no,
knockt Liberty in the he'd with a sluny.
shot. Columbus wasn't much of u Teller.
utter all. It would hav bin money in
my pocket if he'd staid at home. Chris.
ment well, hut he put his foot in it when
he sailed for America
We talked sum more about matters
md things, and at larst I riz to 20. Il
will now say good bye to you, noble sir.
aad good luck to you. Likewise the
same to Clotildy. Also to tho gorgeous
persons which compose your SCOT. If
The Emperor's boy don't like Twin ut the
rooleries, when he gifts older. and would
Ike to imbark in the show bizniss. let
lin come with me and I'll make q MN
IT him. You find US sumwhat mixel.
u l before observed, but come again
lext year and you'll find us clearer nor
yer. The American Eagle has lived too
Of late-his stu1n,uic he.
'um foul, and he's takin site emetic. |
That's all. We're gettin ready tn strike
big blow and sure one. When ",
TO strike the fur will fly and secession
sill he in the hands of the undertaken,
!lcetea for SO deep a grave that notb;o
hort Of Gabriel's trombone will ever
'waEen it: Mind what say. You've !
learl the showmanv' /
Then advisin him to keep away from
he Peter Funk auctions of the East. ana
he proprietors Of corner-lots in the
Vest, l bid him farewell and went.
way.
There was levee at Senator What's
and I thought I'll iine in the
estivities Tor a spell. Who should So,
'ut she that was Sarah Watkins. now
nc wife of our Congresser, trippin in the
ance, dressed up to kill in her store
lose. Sarah's father used to keep little
rosery store in onr town and she use,,
clerk it for him IN l'usy times. Twas
rsh1n rp to shake hands with her when
no turned on her heel, anil tossin her
cd in n Co-t,,op4o,.:,,.