Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-05-10

any Of these. It il . "work-a-day world
that we live In and the whole formation Of
our society betrays Il Then dress plainly.
simply and without display. Their servants
Dress better than they do. in = way, and yet
nothing is SO distinctive as the dress OF gen
tiemen. tits az much costume OF nobility
rs II 1t were the velvet coat which Sir Wal
ter Raleigh threw down before Queen Eliza
beth.
The Proper Form Of Note.
And 1t may not be inappropriate here to
say word or two al to the minor morals.
In addressing o note to lady whom he does
not know well, Tilden should use the third
person as follows::
Mr.. Tilden presents his compliments to Mrs.
Monteomery, and begs to know u she and Miss
Montgomery will honor him with their com:
pany at theater party on the evening OF April
lat the Chestnut Street Theater. R 8. v. p.
LIZ South Market Place.
This note should be sealed with wax, I'M
pressed with the wri:er's coat OF arms or
some favorite device and delivered by pri-
vate messenger, who should wait for an an
swer. In addressing letter to gentleman
the full title should be used: walter Til
- Tilden, ESQ.," never s"Mr. Walter
quette to say Mister"
In writing in the first person Tilden must
not be too familiar. He must make no
elisions or contractions. but fill out every
word and line, as If it were pleasure. 1t
is urged against us by foreigners that the
manner Of men toward women psrtakes Of
the freedom of the age, that they are not
sufficiently respectful; but If careless in
manner American men are the most chiy-
alrous at heart
Presentations In the Ball Room.
At q ball q young man can ask friend to
present him to lady who il chaperoninR Q
young girl, and through her he can be pre-
sented to the young girl. No man should,
however, introduce another man without
permission. If he is presented and asks the
girl to dance, q short walk is permitted
before he returns his partner to the side of
the ohaperone. But il is bad manners for
the young couple to disappear for long
time. No man should 90 into q supper
room alone. or help himself while ladies
remain unhelped.
ITO get on in society" involves 80 much
manual is, of course, imperfect, for no one
can predict who shall succeed and who shall
fail. Bold and arrogant people, "cheeky"
people, succeed at first, modest ones in the
long run. 1t is melancholy fact that the
most Objectionable persons do get into fash
ionable society. It is to be feared that the
possession of wealth is more desired than the
possession of any other attribute, that much
is forgiven the rich man which would be
rank heresy to the poor one.
False Aims In Society.
We would not, however, advise Tilden to
choose his friends from the worldly point,
simply, either of fashion or wealth. He
should try to find those who are well bred,
good, true, honorable and generous. Wher-
ever they are. such people arc always good
society.
In the ranks of society, however, We find
sometimes the ideal gentleman. Society
may not have produced so good crop az it
should have done. yet its false aims, its
glittering friezes, have not yet dazzled all
men out Of the true, the ideal, breeding.
There are many cubs, but there are some
admirable crichtons-men who can think,
read, study, work and still be fashionable.
A man should 20 through the fierce fires
of social competition and yet not be
scorched. All men have not had that fine
repressive training which makes our navy
and army men such gentlemen. The breed
ing Of the young men of fashion Is not what
their grandfathers would have called good.
They sometimes have Q severe and bored
expression when called on to give up
selfish pleasure. One asks "where are their
The Heart Must Bs Right
Breeding, cultivation, manners, must
start from the heart. They must be fostered
and the dancing master added on. The old
saying that IL takes three generations to
make gentleman, makes Us ask how many
does IL take to unmake one. Some young
and well born men seem to be undoing the
work Of the three generations, and to have
nothing Of . great ancestor bat
his bad manners 10 poor Inheritance.
An American young man should have
the best manners. He has had nothing TO
crush him; he 10 unacquainted with patron-
age, which In Its way makes snobs, and no
ono loves o snob, least OF all the man whom
the snob cultivatss.
And the word gentleman" although one
Of tho best In the language should not be |
used too much. Be 0 gentleman, but talk |
about q "man." And man avoids display
and oultivates simplicity, neatuess and At.
ness Of things, II he ID both man and
gentleman. N. =. W. SHERWOOD.