Telegram-herald., 1891-11-15

"~A%
IN fHE prNISa cAR
Chicago has several distinct advsn-
tages over New York which strike .
traveller ut once. One Of them u tho
rapidity with which one gets his bag
gage in Chicago. When you land in
New York or approach the city . well
informed and talented gentleman carry
ing largo MAS Of echoing braSss on
q big wire key ring goes through your
train with little memorandum box
and agrees to transfer your luggage to
your home or hotel before you can pos
sibly get there yourself.
You have rashly agreed 10 gst mar
ried on your arrival. perhaps. or you
may have accepted IN invitation 10 Be
present at large dinner where you will
make few spontaneous. typcwrittAn rc-
marks. So when this able and thor
oughly well informed baggage checker
man takes your check and your address
you heave = sigh Of relief and begin to
drink in the picturesque beauties OF
Elizabeth and Jersey City, those beauti-
ful abodss Of wealth and beauty, and
with JOY you sni6 the rich aroma from
the bone works along your route. You
feel assured that when You get to your
inn o your chocolate colored fat In One
Hundred and Thirty-ninth street your
trunk will be on the stoop with glad
welcome and one hinge waiting for you.
But after several bitter experiences in
this way you finally give it up and yield
to despair. do not know how MANI
happy weddings kavs been broken OF
by tho Express and Transfer and General
Mephistophel association. OF New York,
or how many impromptu speeches have
died in the bosom of the typewriter be-
cause Of this great incorporated disap-
pointment company.
Once / got my trunk on time, but my
wife did not. We were to 60 together
somewhere, for we were not then posted
regarding New York customs. So we
were 10 go together. II was an evening
affair. and it was full dress. wanted
to wear my full dress, for I had . nice
new suit with embroidery down the side
of the leg. 1t was my first effort in
evening dress and was perishing to try
it. but my wife said may. IL would be
very rude and de trop to wear evening
toSs when she appeared in street dress.
SO relented and went in short coat
with hectic necktie and mingled with
those who were clad In the severest
evening drees throughout No one knows
how many hearts have bled over these
sickening delays and disappointnents.
/ remained u month in New York at
that time hoping for another invitation
which weuld necessitate evening toilet,
but no one asked me out.
In Chicago the railways como almost
| into the center Of the city on the north.
west and south, and when you have
bathed your features. and looked under
the bed for . burglar. and rummaged
the drawers Of the dressing case for for
gotten hosiery and the bric-a-brac OF de-
parted guests, the porter knocks softly
Mt your door and wheels in on . rubber
tired truck your welcome trunk. II Is .
very great comfort and delight.
| Last week met . man on the train
who got even with me in . way de-
spise. He had been my guest once At
home for . week, and certainly tried
to make il p,eassnt for him during that
time. He remained at the house ~
much the proprietor - WA He got
up when he fels hike IL in the morning.
and his brs~kfase va ready for him.
| We saved out The tender corner Of the
steak for him. aud though We didn't al
ways ike to do it. we refused ths second
joint Of the fowl because ws knew he
| liked it and his nerves were not quite
strong. being sort Of . genius--the kind
OF genius that does not think IL hss 70
be responsible; the kind Of intellectual
child wonder that ignores the dali do
tail Of rece;pted bills and Just equivs-
lent to peopls who have no GeniuA
You have seen such geniuA IL ex-
ists in every professiop. He 10 the kind
Of man who walks over the prostrass
bodies OF hts friends aad regards his
wife As . misguided being who has been
mercifnIly permitted 10 stand around
and admire him and reach up under his
vest for a straw susp~n 'er that he can
nos GET hold Of. He does nos hold him
self annenshle 70 the laws which govern
other people. Being . genius. he tAhes
three pieces Of PIE and then expects the
family TO SIT up AL night and hold his
head fer him.
He IL the horror Of business nsu. shs
bsts rof- Of commonplace people. He
has been spoiled by little notice in che
paper. and should be hedded down every
night with barisy straw and fed on corn
tn the ear. Genius 10 good thing. %
am told. s1i do not despiss 10 myseif,
bot when i i msie so take the pesos o(
common i~cencv and snaps So fngers s'
friendship. would rather not - M
agns u 10 10 my chsidrsn-
| This man wss one whcss vcyk had
admired could noe - how bis hsari
roaid b- otherwise than psrs end ~
ssiasa Eis wsrds had ealie1 ~ ths
tenderness which IL comnso1 ia the
hearts 81 al. even IN the eosr~s sasnrs
af the fana7 sssn. r.sA he sesunfsl
hnes- ana J seid - my~if ~Is@s h go
~so~- sosi = al asse~ ~sth a,vtss sns
ssine ~ av~ in . p>~p~s~si Is1sss
| s.mrsv of A sss~n. - ~ s1eds and
| TIE a. nzsi- ~. - sDs~sssn wssh MssA~
Is spai ~ss al sess~ ~4sh ~sn.tsn<
| vs~a tasn1 v~sb - usx- - vnsu