The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-06-18
WIT AND HUMOR.

Tommy-"N hat does Col stand for.
papa?' Mr.. Bjones-''Any gentleman
south of the Ohio. '-Harrard Lam
poon.
A man should grapple TO his friends
with hooks of steel. He need have no
fear of losing his enemies.-Netc Or
!eats Pieayuile.
Notwithstanding the many changes
i'll fashions, the prettiest thing in dress
goods is the pretty girl, just the same.
N. I. recorder.
Carruthers-''Filkins seems to re-
gard himself as II hero; on what
grounds. | wondcr?" Waite He has
40 va.at. "-ittck.
Parrott-'lIow many great titles
end in .or'-cmperor, legislator, editor
- Virgins (who lives in Il flat y
Yes, ana janilor. "-Hnper's Bd7ta.
Il don't think mach of Mrs. Bron-
son. y said Mrs. S.mitiles. Il spent the
AFTERNOON with hcr-aid such won-
an for listening In scandal / never
kuewr'-N. L. !ieFsitd.
Average Woman-"W hat? Not GO
mo 10 church today" Average Man
..Whal tue use? Our new preacher
! a. ur,r-sin.ie,l he can t tell whether
,,,.-re there or not. ~. !. lfttaty.
Lady customer: i want 10 look ut
some sofas" c ERIK. Yes, madam;
whal do YOU think OF this? Lady
customer: It's too comfortable.
Some one might sit down Oh It, -
JitdJt.
Have Won had tie grip?' asked one It,
Washington citizen nf another. "TRIP
w,s lha respynsr. Il shnnId say so.
II seems To me HAT have had TWO or
three cabie-cars and power-hotiSe'
-Iga<h;H9t0H lost.
Holdfast-'Why do y"u wear sucA a
sorrowful look every week when YOU
count over your salary? Mine rem
ders me joyful" SpcatiirIlt - 1t
makes me sad To think how soon we
shall be parted. Bosto!1 IL r'4d.
."Whcn you lose Your office, SAID
the good old man 10 the politician, Il
t.ust you viii not alter Your habits OF
industry aud taar 10 drink. No,
sir said the politician promptiyi Il II
change my politics. ~. /. Rec0'teF'
Sam Beck. 93-'' Frcshlei@h won't
give me the pipe matched him for
last nioht.n Jack Matthews, 81
| why not?" Sam Beck don't
know. Perhaps it is because used a
Chinese coin and called the hole
| heads. II arcaau LamP03n.
First physician: Il tell you, my
| dear sir. | am right. Ill stake my
professional reputation on it. Sec
ond physician: Il shall not take that
wager. | wouldn't take the chance OF
| winning YOUR reputation for any con-
| sideration. ~ T. Weekly.
Il see. George said the roommate,
| to whom he had been contidlng, she
| isn't pretty, but. with all her faults,
YOU love her still" No" saio
George, lit amt still; it's Il brewery
that her father owns. and it makes ;
mint of money. - Washington Post
whats the matter?" asked The
early birds mother. Didn't you ge
the worm?" Yes" whimpered th'
early bird. We'll. then, what art
YOU sniveling about?' The late birt
came along and took it away from M
Just because he was bigger than /.
WASHINGTON lost
Can we not meet alone on Sun
day?n he whispered eagerly, as he ros'
| TO 90. No" said the bankers daugh
ter, sadly: mot very well. Sunday |
not legal day for meeting Il loan.
| can help YOU any other day
But the darkness had swallowed hin
up.-St. Joseph NtaC5.
Worlds Fair Official" Every hin:
is in readiness, Mr.. President. Th
machinery of the Worlds Columbia
Exposition will be put i'll motion a
soon as you press this button" Press
dent of the United States Tin an TN
easy whiSper) -"Arc you sure Mis-
Phoebe Couzins is not at the other Ell
of the wirc?n
What Il curious way to build ;
path" said Hawkins. who was spend
lug Sunday with IIankinson in tn
suburbs. You have laid it out on TIL,
pattern of Stro,e of lightning.
Yes" said Mrs. HankiuSon. JOIN
uses the path when he comes hom
from the club Saturday nights. |
saves the lawns and shrubs. N !
San.
Mayor (of Missouri town. Jones
where are all the police?' City Marsh
al Keeping order ut Il sparring
match. | don't expect any of then
back before midnight" Mayor-''Thel
tell those folks down at the reh-bricl
church they'll have TO put off that de
bate on infant baptism till tomorrow
might That's all there is about it. u
Chtcaq0 Tribune.
| Charlie Knickcrbocker-" hat talk
ers women are! They never give
mau il chance to get in n word edge
wise" Mr.. Bondclipper-"O. We
they do Knickerbockcr - ''Whel
for instancc?" Bondclippper-"Wh
they see fellow is trying 10 propose
They don't interrupt him, then, if he i
rich. until he has committed himself.
-Ieras Syttngs.
MiIlicent-'What is the meaning O
reciprocity WHIP WHILE mean
an exchange in which neither part
has the advantage; rs for instance.
Won were to give me Il kiss (like this
would be Obliged to give you one il
return Qike this) see? Millicent-
Yes. how lovely; but VIII. | dom
see how an old man like Mr. Blain
can bc SO interested in it."-Br0oktyI
Eagle.
Water" said The detected citi
zen. lis the cause of all nay troubles.
How was thaf9n Il was once sec
rotary of the Order of Tramps, wit
good prospects in life. But | got t
be Il suspect. They thought | ha
gone over to the enemy" How wa
that?" Il stood SO long in a rain
storm that they thought | was tryir
TO sneak bath on them. y Washing
ton Post.
Fond Mother And so you mad,
Tommy and Willie stop fighting di,
you9' I'm glad TO see that my litll
boy is pcacemaker. What did Nam
mas JOY do to separate them? Nam