The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1891-02-18
The Meat Pie Versus Hash.

Nv HhNHN NtISuS IIHHHs
The Family had gone on a strike,
their grievance, so set forth in the COM
plants OF the various members, being
that useful article of diet known as
hash"
The Nsthetic Young Lady said: " 1t
is vulgar dish, exceedingly offensive
to one of refined sensibiities.
The Dyspeptic said: 81 My stomach
ties itself in knot and gives me the
blues every time | eat it,"
Young America here ventured an
impertinent inquiry as to how often
the Dyspeptic was in the habit of eat.
ing his stomach, but was promptly
frowned down.
The Youth of Advanced Ideas said I:
Science has demonstrated that the
frying-pan is a prolific cause of crime
and an uumitigated evil"
And a unanimous voice went up, say
ing: We're all tired of it, anyway"
Well" said the Head of the Gu
linary Department, ",what are you 60
ing to do about it?"
This offended no one, being under
stood as merely gentle reminder that
that august individual held at her pleas
ure the health, happiness, and even the
very lives of the Family.
The Lobbyist said, in honeyed ac-
cents: We are going to rely on your
well known genius to invent some more
palatable and wholesome method of
using remnants"
The II. of G.. ID. smiled apprecia-
lively. A few days after new dish APP
peared as a center-piece upon the din
ner table. 1t was round, the form
most pleasing to the eye. The sub
stance within was of moundlike shape.
resembling an ant-hill, and was of
beautiful, delicate brown, exactly the
shade of the H ,thetic Young Lady's
hair. 1t was flanked by dish of rich
brown gravy of a darker shade.
A look of pleased expectation diff
fused itself upon the countenance of
the Family, and they exclaimed in uni
SON.
What is that?"
"That is Meatpie," replied the H.
of c. D., with eloquent brevity.
The Ksthetic Young Lady cooked her
head on one side and contemplated the
dish with one eye closed, in imitation
of her friend, Mr.. Vandyke Brown,
FRA, when estimating values of light
and shade.
1.-The eff ct is pleasing to the eye"
she said, graciously.
The Dyspeptic received his portion
with some solicitude, carefully exam
med its entrails, apparently with the
hope OF finding therein some forecast
as to its effect on his digestive appara-
tus, cautiously tasted, and, as his look
of anxious uncertainty gradually re-
IaXed into one of relieved qualification,
announced, with one hand placed ten
tatively over his stomach, " can tell
better later, butt think it is going TO
agree with me-"
"The method of its construction
seems TO be in accordance with the
latest discoveries in chemistry,n said
the Y. of A. I. 1.-The escape of
gases
Its bullyl" interrupted Young
America, smacking his lips and passing
his plate for more.
"Isit patented?" asked the Lobbyist,
with an eye to possible personal profit.
Certainly not" replied the II. of
@. u. 1.-THE usufruct of the earth's
material benefits"
" Enough enough! " cried the The
Family in concert.
. was about TO remark" proceeded
'ha il. of 9. D., with dignity, "that
my claims to monopoly, as the in
ventor of the article in question, are of
the slightest, and, such as they are,
gladly Awe them for the sake of diff
iusing the benefits to he derived there
from among my fellow creatures"
"Sufferers from the frylng-pan.
Amenl" added the Y. of A. l., devoutly.
s. In that case" said the Lobbyist,
seducuvely, as one of the aforemen-
toned fellOw-creatures, would YOU
kindly favor me with description of
your method of procedure in connecting
this most delicious dish?"
Certainly, replied the II. of G. ID.
% For the crust take one cup of flour,
one teaspoonful of cream-tartar, one
half of soda, ditto salt; mix together,
then chop in sufficient butter for
shortening (any cook of ordinary ability
knows the amounD, and stir in milk
enough to make a rather thin batter.
The crust should not be rolled, but
should be dropped on from the spoon
after the interior of the pie has been
heated for ten or fifteen minutes in the
oven. In making the interior, l should
be guided by circumstances. For the
pie before you"
The Y. of A. /. pointed significantly
TO the empty dish.
81 used the mashed potato which
was left at breakfast, and, as the guam
tity was rot sufficient, ! added piece
of cold milk toast which was left from
last nights supper, and few bits of
broken dry bread"
The Dyspeptic began to radiate a
look of uneasiness, but the II. of G. ID.
went calmly on.
E" l added tiny onion, sliced few
bits of butter the remnants of the