The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-08-14
THE LITTLE FAT MAN.
ais Cool Way of Making a "V'' Out of a
Post Office Clerk,

Post Office Clerk.
A little fat man was standing in the
money order section of the post Office,
when the clerk in a pause amid his hur-
ry, half leaned over the counter, and
in the confidential tone of a man who
has made discovery calculated to as
tonish, said: ';YOu can say what you
please, but all the honesty in this world
is not in the upper classes or well-to-do
people, after all"
ut isn't?' calmly asked the little fat
man, lifting his eyebrows interroga-
lively.
NO, sir, not by large majority.
You can't tell by appearances. by
George, there was q fellow came in
here yesterday, when l was very busy,
and wanted a money order for twenty
dollars. When gave it to him and
handed him his change | slipped him a
two-dOllar bill instead of one dollar,
and he hurried away without waiting
to count the cash at all, taking it for
granted that my count was all right
When | came to make up my accounts
for the day, short time afterward,
| for at all. | did not know where it had
disappeared, and was not only mad at
having to make up the amount but was
little nervous at having the fact that
my accounts did not come out right
known by the boss"
'Of course" remarked the little fat
man as the clerk paused as if expecting
some comment.
Il worried about it more than little,
l tell you: but when | came down and
opened up this morning the very first
man who came into the department was
a tall, seedy-looking chap, dressed in a
slazy Prince Albert. shocking bad
plug hat split shoes, and a pair of
trousers that would give Il tailor fits.
1t was the fellow that had given the
two dollar bill to by mistake
Brought it back, had he?' asked the
little fat man. interested.
"Yes-Or, well, not just exactly. but
| the same thing-he said he had discov-
cred the mistake as soon as he com
menced to count off the change for him.
self. He hadn't time to bring it back
yesterday SO he came the first thing
| this morning. He had spent the two
dollar bill, but he gave me five dollars
and let me take it out of that, | tel
you there are are mighty few men who
would have done what that poor mar
did
They wouldn't, hey?" said the little
fat man.
mo, sir, they wouldn't. have ricl
men cheat me every time they get {
chance. That isn't often, l can tel
you"
"IIe gave you FIVE dollar bill, di,
he?"
Yes"
"And you took the two dollars out o
it?"
YES, of course"
"Lemme see that bill minute
please.
The clerk began to look bit nervous
and as he got the bill out looked it owe
carefully.
The little fat man took it, put on
pair of large glasses, and scrutinizeC
the bank note closely. Then he held i
up to the light and shook his heaC
obviously, rubbing it between his fin
gers with plying smile
1T isn't counterfeit, is it," nervousl,
asked the clerk. now on the tenter
hooks with anxiety.
Isn't counterfeit? Great Scotland
icy mountains and GrecnlandS cora
sands. Isn't counterfeit? Why, it i
one of the rankest counterfeits | eve
! 10, ST. l.,
contemptuous laugh that was full o
plying commiseration for the victim
of the hoax.
Are you dead sure that it ise
good?" anXiously asked the clerk, lean
ing abiectly over the supporting raj
and feeling as weak as Il cat
counterfeit? Well, | should say so
Why, it isn't worth continental. But
then, it's pretty dark hcre-wait min
ute till take it to the window over
there"
The little fat man walked SLOWLY
over to the nearest window. bent al
most double over the bill, examining
every part of its texture and face with
the eye of Il hawk.
''IIow is it," called the clerk, witt
trcmulous tones.
''Well, | thought it was counterfeit
young man. drawled the examiner will
A sly twinkle of his little eyes. ''Bu
since have examined it. he continued
gliding slowly toward the street door
Il have come to the conclusion that i
is good as gold. sir-good as gold"
DO you think so?'' asked the clcrl
eagerly.
Think so?" said the little fat ma,
contemptuously. think so? Why.
know SOL But there's one thing wan
to tell you, young man
"What is that?" asked the post offic
attache.
why, it isn't always safe TO trust t,
everybody's honesty"
at was in this case, just the same
He brought the money back"
YES, my dear little duck, lie did, bu
/ didnt."
With that the little fat man flew on
the side door, down the corridor. on
into the street, and by the time tn
clerk could recover from his astonish
ment, yell for the police, jump tn,
counter and reach the sidewalk, the lit
tie fat man was completely out of sight
So was the five dollar bill.
Commercial Gazette.