The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1891-12-22
PITA AND POINT.

He 1uInily Tree can not be depend.
ed on for board.-Indiapapoli d ournal.
-"You talk good deal in your sleep,
john, said Mrs. HenSeck. Its the
only chance get" said John, meelxly.
"A woman never hits n hen when
She throws missile TT it; but, alas!
man is not hen.-Yonkers States
man.
The ownership of the modern house
is usually shared between the baby,
the nurse and the hired girl.-Inter-
Ocean.
If tho world, us it is said, owes
everybody living, the world ought to
get mortgage on itself to pay it's
debts.-rexas Siftings
-lIardfeaturc my wife is near
sighted" Jimpson gazing long ut
Hardfeature)-" would think she
was blind. IN. Y. Herald.
Heaven helps those that help them
selves, but praying for your daily bread
does not entitle you to the entire balk-
ry.-Indianapolis Journal
"A man never fully realizes how
much OF n sponge he is until he slips
down in puddle of water and mops it
all up.-Richmond Recorder.
Tho man of one idea may be a bore,
while the man with none is that de-
lightful acquaintance who allows YOU
to do all the talking yourself. Puck.
Nothing makes one girl SO happy
as to read another girls letters. A girl
couldn't be girl and not read all her
letters to some other girl.-TcXas Sift-
ings.
When young man and his best
girl get into Il swing by themselves it is
remarkable how they will mix up os-
cillation with osculation-Buffnlo Ex-
press.
The man who prefers to be right
rather than hold Office can always have
his way; but it is more difficult for the
man who had rather hold office than be
right.-N. o. Picayunc..
Always Desirablc.-MrsC loscfit-
II hear checks are to be in great de-
mand by the modistes this fall" Mr..
Closeft-"I never knew the time when
they weren't."-Brooklyn Eagle.
No Possibility of t-Jcnnie-"I
don't think there's any love lost be-
tween Milly Pond and Hudson Parke.
Peal-"I don't see how any could get
lost in that way; they sit so close to-
gcther. Eagle.
81 tell you" said the head of the
family who had returned from the sea-
shore, you can never appreciate that
poem about the breaking waves until
you have gone out and been broken by
them yourself. "-Washington Star.
The Soul of an Artist-"Aw, me
man." said Chappic, "these clothes
don't fit me tiguah at all" 81 know
they DON'T said the tailor, sadly. "But
actually I couldn't bring myself to
butcher up good cloth into the shape
necessary to fit ou"-Indianapolis
News.
Way Up.-Dicl1 Swiveller-"Say
nrc you going to leave that lawn now
er of yours out in the yard all winter?"
Plato-"Such was my intention" Dick
Swiveller-"Why, the thing Will rust
all to pieces, you old nincompoop.
Plato-"You are entirely wrong, sir.
My son says it won't rust, and he
knows. My son, sir, is eighteen years
and ten months old, and expects to
graduate from college next year"
Theodore Iiallnm once defended a
burglar. The burglars wife was on
the witncss-stand and the prosecuting
attorney was conducting vigorous
cross eNaminntion. Madam, you are
the wife of this MANI" Eyes" "You
knew he was burglar when you mar
ried him?" Yes" ''lIow did you come
to contract matrimonial alliance with
such Il man?" "Wcll," the witness said
sarcastically, ~ was getting old and
had to choose between n lawyer and n
burglar" The cross-exanination end
ed there.