Morning journal and courier., 1891-09-07
FLY.

Fresh air boy-Mister, do you have to buy chewing gum for all those cowsi- Life.
 "Don't you like to hear some one sing ing on the water far away" she asked.
 "Yes," he murmured, "far away. Life.
 Tommy-What is the spells system, Pal
 His father-It's the system prscticed when the opposition party gets into power. Puck.
 Cleverton-Thats beautiful suit you have on. Was it very expensIvei Tray ers-It cost my tailor about forty dollars. -Clothier.
 The naughty Miss McBride-Alas I fear I shall develop into confirmed invalid why, MT. Basher, where are you goingl
 Smiley Basker (grabbing his hatl-I'm going to study medicine.-Epoch.
 Hotel -Thunderationl Whats the tremendous ringingi Farmer Squash by (at the electric bell ll)-Gosh! I dunno, l jes' lost my collar button, an wuz trying to dig this little white one O the wall with my jacknife.-Judge.
 Reportah-So poor Will was acciden- tally strangled to death. How'd it hap pen9
 Flicker-Got caught in a shower and  shirt.-Harper's Bazar.
 Ward (to his gardener)-Sam, where are all those chickens we had about here a while agof
 Sam-You said you was afraid dey would eat derselbes up, an I 'spect dey done it tsush.-New York Herald.
 An up town organist advertised for a stout youth to blow the bellows on Sun days. The first applicant was asked If he had experience in that line. Sort of" was the reply; '1 worked the beer pump in my uncle's saloon. n."-Philadelph Record. Plugwinch-Good idea, waiter, to serve capers with this alleged spring lamb. Waiter-Yes, sir; most gentlemen likes lem.
 Plugwinch-No, it isn't that; but was just thinking that these were the only ca pers the poor old creature had had for the last ten years.-Grip. He had married her for her money, and their domestic life was not the most har- monious. 'T was sold when I married you," he said to her one day in a tone of disappointment. Possibly" she replied | very quietly; "psssibly. I wouldn't un- | dsrtake to say; but if you were, dear, you | haven't realized any cash on the sale yet, have youf'-Detroit Free Press. "Well, you may criticise the young em- peror of Germany as much as you choose, | but there's a mark of business about him that like," said Spodkins. | "Why, man, when did you read the pa pers lasts He got rid of that months ago, ' | said Bodkins. l "Got lid of.whatp "His biz mark to be sure." Spodkins had to pay for two.-Detroii Free Press. | Last Sunday two new boys made theil appearance in Sabbath school class al Englewood.
 'I am glad to see you, boys." said thu teacher. 'Hew much you resemble esct otherl You are brothers, are you noti'
 "Yes'm," replied one of the two.
 ''And twins, I dare say7'
 "No'm," said the same one, with lool of lofty scorn. fsrm half an hour older'I he is. s."-Wasp.
 There are people in New York whc toady after the rich. The following con versation took place on a Third avenue street car:
 "So your sister is marriedl"
 'FYes, and she did very splendid You have heard of Vanderbiltl"
 "Oh, yes. Did she marry into tha familya"
 "Well, yes, so to speak. She married nephew of Vanderbilt's chief cook. He i the driver of a street car."-Texas Sift ings.
 Though fly, I am still game" sai' the wild duck.-Baltimore American.