Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1891-04-10


THE frost in Alabama has killed all
the early cucumbers. This is sad
news TO the doctors.
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THE Hearst funeral cost the gov
eminent three dollars a minute, and
it lasted about three weeks.
THE government of Chill has very
fine navy, but the blamed thing has
gone off and joined the enemy.
NAPOLEON was a great man, but
in the opinion of the boys p. I. Bar
mum was the man TO be envied.
A MICHIGAN crank has INDUCED IN
n new sort of fast He RETAINED from
sleep for seven days, or l6S hours.
The Democrats elected Governor
Davis in Rhode Island. but the Re
pubHcans will give the other man the
Office
4 YOUNG lady up in Connecticut
has Joined the fire company OF the
town in which she lives. All the men
are waiting to see her turn on the
hose.
THE sugar trust has succeeded IN
shutting of about its only competi-
tor in the East by making a deal with
Claus Speckles and his Philadelphia
refinery.
EVEN Barnum's circus didn't do
everything that the bills said it would,
but then we all forgive the genial
Snowman, for he did give us lots OF
pleasure.
THE cowboys of Kansas have an
nounced that they would take great
pleasure in visiting Italy in case war
is declared They'd make Rome
howl, sure enough.
THE European news Is 10 the effect
that the great powers over there are
undoubtedly preparing for war. But
then this scare comes every spring.
and we are getting used to it.
THE women of Kansas had a chance
to vote at the various city elections
on Tuesday. and hundreds of them
proudly cast their ballots. But they
couldn't vote the vest-pocket ticket.
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THE German government has agreed
TO withdraw the embargo on Ameri-
can pork We do not know whether
the hog will be pleased TO hear OF this
or not. The farmers will, We are sure.
THEY say now that Governor Hill
will resign from the Seuatorship and
run again for Governor. Why in the
world did he allow himself to be
elected Senator if he didn't want the
place?
WHILE it is true that IJaly's iron
clads are the finest in the world, they
saw that it is also fact that the gov
eminent is so hard up it could scarce
w buy coal enough to send them
over here.
ALTHOUGH the Democrats cast more
votes at the Rhode Island election
last week than the Republicans did,
they will. as usual, be cheated out of
their victory on account of the pecu-
liar way in which the State laws are
constructed.
The affair with Italy has been
about settled, and all is quiet again
After having made themselves ride
ulous in The ewes of the word, the
Italians are forced TO depend upon
after all, he slow and prosy methods
of diplomacy for satisfaction,
CHICAGO INDUCED in a municipal
election on Tuesday, which was one
of the most exciting scrambies of re-
cent wears. There were four tickets
out. including one led 10y the redoubt-
able Carter Harrison. The Republi-
can candidate came out on top of the
heap.
News comes from Europe that the
wheat crops Of France, Russia and
Germany will be almost complete
failures, and the probability is that
wheat will reach the highest price III
many years Our farmers here will
be sorry TO hear Of the losses to the
agriculturists on the other side-but
not too sorry.
SENATOR HAWLEY says our coast
defenses are utterly inadequate in
case of war with foreign nation, and
he thinks that S12S,0OO,0O0 ought to
be expended in erecting fortresses and
making guns. In the meantime, we
suppose if any of the foreign war-ships
come fooling around we will blow EN-
up with torpedoes.
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IN the struggle between the strlk-
ing coke workers in Pennsylvania and
the manufacturers there will be little
sympathy for either side. The strikers
have brought their punishment upon
themselves 10y their own lawlessness.
The operators deserve that they
should suffer because they in the
first place brought such lawless and
disreputable horde to this country
simply because they could get them
to work cheaper than American la
borers would. Let them fight it out
now as best they can.
THERE was big free trade meet
ing in New York last week, at which
there were a number of speeches
made by prominent men who were
opposed to the protective policy. \