The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1891-12-16
PITH AND POINT.

rr .-.. .r.Hst -- EttI-~asa ~ rE4igN.
he who talks and talks away
Escapes what other bores night say.
A counter irritant-An impudent dry
goods clerk.-Bubab Inquirer.
The description slate lamentedn up,
plies forcibly to the delinquent debtor.
It is not at all surprising that parros
should use poly-syllables;-Boston jan.
nal.
The farmer who closely packs his load
Of wood Is sure to strike the popular
chord. s
When the Chairman Of q meeting wants
rapt attention be get It with his gaYel.
-Statssman.
There's pitch in the voice, and thatis
why some singers notes sdck.-Pins-
burg Dispatch.
It is easier to forgive enemies we have
worsted than enemies who have worsted
us.-New York Herald.
A man never has so great d trouble
as when he has one he can't blame on
anyone else.-Atehison Gibbs.
The business in which you know you
could make the money is generally the
other man's.-Tsr1s Siiftinqs. i
The man who lives upon his brain,
SID By wit earns all his bread, u,
Meier finds 1t in the least way vain.
To stand upon his head.
-Ha,pe,ss Basdr.
Queries-sDoes Miss Prym believe
everything in her Biblean Cynicus--
"Yes, except the entry Of her BIRTH.
New York Journal.
Employer-"Your first duty win be-
to post this ledger New Clerk (ratherg
too readily)-aYessir; where shall il
send it2"-PeE Ne Up. :
Bunting-aWhy on earth do you can
your wife tMisery2' Larkin-HMost
appropriate name in the world, sir. ShA5
loves company."-Tfuth.
ssOh, ma" cried Willie, as q few Of
the crew ran by, ssthere go some more
men up the venue with those perspirers
on."|Karpara Lompoon.
~ am not vain, ah no. she wrote
With evident sincerity.
The doorbell rings, to the glass she springs
With positive celebrity.
II was the cynical bachelor who SYM
phatically observed that there was mo-
slight danger attending q fashionable
wedding there was so much typhus about
it.-Boston Transcript
Actor-"Ih have worked hard to please
the people. I have tried everything IN
the business but they won't be pleased
Mansger-aHave you tried going outot
the business2"-Brooklyn Citizen.
Willie (scared)-"Now we've MIXED
the COW, what'l edo2 PopH be awful
mad" Jimmie (equalto the oceasionl1
drive her down to the pond and
fill her up with water."-Harpsr's Basa-a
It always seems to me that cheek
Succeeds in besting worth and skill:
Why. cen in church one small red cent
Makes more noise thar q dollar bill.
-ColcradoS So.
Timid Citizen (who has just escaped
from o riot)-"Who arc you, sir4" uPo-.
liceman-sI am a member of the police
force. There is my badge Timid
Citizen (vociferously) "Helpl 5helpl-
Neu York Journal.
Time Makes All Things Even: Pegg
-"Sometimes the absolute faith my boy
has in my wisdom makes me almost
ashamed Of myself" Potts-"You need
not worry. It will average up all night.
By the time he Is twenty he will think
you know nothing at all. "-Ldiaaspotis
Journal.
"If I had known" sobbed youngM :
Fits, .'that you would be such brute
to poor Fido, I never, never would have
married you." "My dear" replied Mr..
Fits, ssthe anticipation Of kicking that
miserable little beast was one of my chief
reasons for proposing to you."-lndsa''-S
apoiis Journal.
Laura-'sIf papa gives his consent,
George, dear, when you go to ask hum,
won't you be fairly transported with
joy9' George somewhat apprehen-
sively)-"Yes, Laura, and if it shouldn't
happen to strike him favorably and he's
feeling right well I shouldn't wonder u
I'd be considerably moved anyhow
San Francisco Nraminer. 81
Jrate Mamma-"Goodness mel It's
half an hour since I sent YOU around to
the store to get those things, and here
YOU are back without Them" Little
Dick-"It was such a long time before
nv turn came to be waited on that dor
got what it was you wanted" Then
Why didn't you come aud find QUIT.
81 was afraid if I left I'd lose my turn"
Imet a fearful little lass:
She sobbed SO hard I couid not pass
I wondered so thereat;
"Oh, dry your tears, my pretty child,
Pray tell me why you grieve so W,idr'
"A-mouse-ateup-my-cat"
"a mouse ate up your catp' cried,
To think she'd fb quito Mortified;
"Why, how can you say THAR
Her tears afresh began to ran,
She sobbed the words out one by one;
"It-was-a-candy-cat"