Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1891-06-26
WOR M Y.

Give the army worm credit for one
good quality. It isn't clamorous for a
back Observation-Disclosures Times.
Teacher-Now, then, who can tell me
the plural of 'childa"
The Bright Pupils-Twins.-Oswego
Times.
Summer boarder-You told me last
spring that you were never annoyed by
mosquitoes here. Mr.. Haicede-Wal, we
amt. We're used to 'em.-Indianapolis
journal.
Bentley-How did Larkins meet his
death? When we left him last night he
seemed unusually jolly. Vosburg-He
tried to blow out the electric light in his
room and burst blood vessel.-Brooklyn
Life.
'I put my new farce ON at the Jersey
opera house the other night. The audience
fairly shook"
eyes. The malaria's pretty bad down
there these early summer days."-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
Young Lady Tourist Ito mountain guide)
DO you make good living at your busi-
nessa
Guide-Yes, miss. Why shouldn't II
Young LADY, fancied you might find
it uphill work.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mabel-With all the bathing that was
done Last summer, only once did wet the
hem of my skirt.
Maude-I should think you would have
somebody with you who could swim when
you went in as deep as that.-Truth.
Cousin Tom-So you are not going to
marry hint Eleanor-No. Cousin Tom
Why notl Eleanor-Well, papa objects to
his fortune, mamma objects to his family
and object to his character, and besides
that he has not asked Ine yet.-Life.
Aunt Fanny-Don't you believe, Emmy,
that God answers little girls prayersi
Emmy Sunday school scholar, aged D.
Yes, I know it. Aunt Fanny-And do
you say your prayers every night Emmy
No, Aunt Fanny. / hate people who,
the more they get, the moro they want
Life.
Teaoher-Keep your hand down. John
Billings; when am ready I will call upon
you. Ten minutes later-Now, John Bill
lings, will hear what you have to say.
John Billings-I only wanted ter tell yer
that seed tramp in der hallway hook
yer gold headed umbrella. Cir
cular.
"Do you believe in the hot-water cure,
Mrs. HobbsF'
"I do indeed, Mrs. Hicks. Especially
| for tramps. I keep hose fastened to the
hot-water faucet all the time, and when
| tramps come, they catch a stream of it,
Never knew it to fail in removing 'em at
oncs."-Harper's Bazaar.
'I don't know about Imagination curing
diseases, but know it can canse them, !"
said Walnut street doctor yesterday.
"Only last night had to attend woman
with cramps. 1 asked her if she had eaten
anything unusual, and she said, No, moth
| ing but ice cream, which often take, but
shortly after had eaten it a man went
past crying crabs, and as soon as 1 heard
the word the mixture made me sick -
Philadelphia Record.
A Fable with an Application.-A swal-
low flew down and plucked q small piece
Of wool from the back of sheep. The
sheep was very indignant and denounced
the swallow in scathing terms. "Why do
you make such fussl" asked the swallow.
"You never say anything when the shep-
herd takes all the wool you have on your
ly," replied the sheep. eff you knew how
to take my wool without hurting me, as
the shepherd does, would not object 80
much" This fable is merely intended to
explain why millions can be stolen with
impunity, while the theft of q pair of boots
or loaf of bread is punished with such
severity.-Texas Siftings.
"This is a small case, gentlemen" said
Judge Wing to the jury Tuesday morning
in the case of the dogs and the COWS. '1I
reminds me of the case that was tried be
fore a colored friend and brother 'way
down Souf' years ago. It was his frs
case as trial Justice and he felt his dignity
He heard the law and the evidence and tn
arguments, and it came time for him t,
charge the jury. At his apparent hesita
ton one of the attorneys nudged him ant
said: Now charge the jury and the judg
arose and said: tBredren, dis am a smal
case an shall charge but dollar an
halt. .'"-Lewiston Journal