The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1891-10-16
SIMPLE SIMON SPEAKETH.
he Cautions His Friends to 90
Slow and not Shove the Kids
Forward so Fast.
Simon Johnson's Letter to the Chair
man Of the Republican Commit
tee Of South Dakota.
RAPID CITY, S. D., Oct. 10, 1881.

-
Mr.. Chairman Republican Commity OF South
Dakoty:
1 hev sot myself down this mornin to
rite you Concernin Campain matters.
Major Picklor wuz hure tother mite and
on the hole we had a rousin time. But
something's wuz not in accordenc with
my Idle and l dezire to warn you on a
few pints.
In the fust place some Nv us old war
hosses what made the party is giten
tired takin back seats and lowen all the
young COLLINS in the Kountry hlsted on
to the platform. Now thar's young
Buell., Horse he's a peart boy, but the
committy haz been putin him up at ever
metin, and he haz a NIFTY purity spcach
he says, but its gitten kinder old to us
fellers what haz beard it several times,
and I kinder think he smelt a mouse
tother mite o he ony made n or two
glitterin t1ites and quit sayen he had a
cold. Then some NY us old liners don't
think he's simon Pure, coz last faul he
sed hiz speach to the burned Jndipen-
dents and it sticks in Jul craws yit. We
had the same trubel with that ar cuss
Gardner, he may be edecated but the
fust time I hurd him speak I went home
and had the mite maj all mite. My wife
Betsy sed she'd be bound he had Saint
Antneys dantz and insisted on gong up
after the meten and tellin him to rub
Saint Bartholomew liniment ON hiz
Spinel Colem and back but l coaXed her
out NV 1t and told herit wuz material, but
we've choked him off and we must sot
down on sum more OF these boys. Then
thar wuz Jim Fowler who wuz not
treated rite, maken him Chairman NV
the metcn before his sores from the last
convention was healed must OF been I'M
baresen to him, You Sc he wuz kicked
clean outen the last convention. Pore
cuss, hez ben faithful to thccoz. hegits bout
sich a cuilin ever convention, but Gums
up smilen like a young gall next year.
But Mister Chairman the pinte Pm giten
at II congsemen, the major, when he gifts
back hCiuu want you to take out be-
the barn and give him a little advise.
TwiXt you and me he haint sound on
sum pints. The DANCED free trade cusses
wostsd him on that ar tariff bIzness an
thars no us lien bout it, sum things il
Il little hay to me on this question. |
KANT see why Il tariff liz q tax on sugcr
and not on wool and iron, and cusscd if
| ken sc SO much gooden haven wool 25
pur sent hier, when cum to think on it
Betsy and l haint had a woolin shurt
Tor 30 years. Betsy SEE the major is
oifally h~ornswaggled or else he lied like
a theaf when he sed prices OF things in
the house IL no lner since Makinley past
his law. Then agin better tel him not
to be IL munkeyen with the principles OF
the Independents COZ l have IL nifty
warm side for sum Nv UNI myself and |
wuZ powerfully riled when he was sluren
the farmers bout w;lnten to start q hue
party ever time Kraps failed, l merely
bit oven at this pint. Tel him not to
talk SO much bout this gloreous pros
pures kountry. 1t may be glorcous to
Il congseman who's agiten s. 5000 ayear
but to a mar what feals like he had a
place in his stumake fur a peck NV taters
and five pounds Nv meat and when he
leaves the meten feals the wind rcachen
fur his skin its pore stuf. Sum NV us
leadcn men sot down on hlz probitlon
lad notwiShstanden it's in our platform
it would be old pizen to talk it out haar,
then sum NV us like a snort as well as
Democrats. But when the majur reached
the old soldier I furgot all bout feelen
hurt at what he sed before. He GRABBED
the old bludy shurt and if ever you seed
it's tail flop in the breze it wuz then. Ov
korse 1 hurd some sayen something bout
eaten Chesnuts but l wuz never so happy
since the a l felt like prayer fur fur
g~ivncss fur feelen cole toeard the party.
How he made the fer fly from the Kop-
perheds. now rite hure i want to ask
you to tel the majur that this IL the
pint we want him to talk on. you no
az well az me that we nevur bothered
ourselves bout principles COZ it don't
pay and if Picklor don't quit talken
bo1lt this the party busted fur thars no
us kiveren it up the Independents and
even the Democrats haz the best Nv us
on the pint NV principel,
Yours for the Coz
Cy>ro<- TDYy>-,oN