The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1891-08-01

yVo 10 no one 10 instruct your old par
SON in his dootvp Hadn't told you
fur to keep still and not open your
moufP"
What for den you ask mo 80 many
konundrums il you don't spect me to
say nuffinP I've been of'n to white
folks weddin's, and de parties inter-
csted always despOnd to de- questions. "
Hcre Jemima hastily shook up her
companion. saying. "For mercy's sake.
Pete. do keep quiet till we're jined,
and don't talk back to the parson. Jes
think how 'dickerlous we two uns must
pear to all desc pussuns sctt.n' down
behind u.s."
A few seconds OF silence followed
these remarks on the part OF the BRIDE
elect which, however, were somewhat
interrupted by the filters OF certain
young women in the congregation. l
thought to myself: well. they're
having rather a hard time getting
married. l wonder whether it is at
all prophetical of their future life?"
when the preacher once more resumed
his task by addressing himself to the
other party.
JENNY, do you promis' me here
tonight dat you'll be good wife to
Pete, dat you'll cook his vittles mend
(if he ever has one, which very much
doubt; will you obey him and sarve
him, Tub. honor, and keep him oil dc
days OBJ your mortal life, while you lib
togedder in dis lower wurld?"
lis it time for me to speak up sahp"
said the woman, making low courtesy,
lob course itam. What for do you
spect i asked de question OBJ you. if /
didn't mean for you to answer itP" was
the reply. q
why, cause" said she; you
blowed up Pete so when he said any,
thing dat l kinder thought I'd wait
awhile afore replyin' to you.n
What's your answer to my ques-
tion?" shouted the clerical gentleman.
well, now. parson, don't get Cited
all dat depends on few circum-
stances. If Pete behaves hisself and
takes good keer oh me and de family,
brings home things to eat and GIBBS me
good share of all he earns. I'll be
good to him; Otherwise l won't promis'
to stay wild him all de days OBJ my life. I"
We'll, now." said the discouraged
groom, ''dats' nifty fine talk to hear
from you, and rite hear before folks
too. Hasn't sad I'd do de rite thing
by you ten hundred thousand times?
II you've gone back on me and changed
your mind since last eb'nin, dere's
Mandy Phelps a-settin' close by in de
front pew, and she'd jump ut dc
chance OBJ standln' here where you do
dis blessed mint.
This pointed allusion to one OF his
old flames was altogether too much for
Jemima, who cried out
Oats jes like you, Pete johnson.
You ought to be 'shamed oh yourself
to defer to such ting rite here afore
folks. If Mandy wants you, and you
want Mandy, let her cum rite out, and
I'll dust quickern litenin."
mo, no. Jemimy," roared Pete,
don't leave me here a-stannin' up all
alone. only spoke geographically,
and twould be awful embarrassin' fur
me to change partners on such short
motifs. See here, parson, you go rite
on wild dis business and jine us jes as
if dis ere conversation hadn't Cured.
Pears to me dat folks mus be a-get-
tin tired wild all dis nonsense"
Pete johnson. do you dare to in
sinerwate dat dare's any nonsense
about me? You keep quiet, and wait
until l get ready to denounce dem
awful wurds dat will make you two
one-auick'n a wink. l hadn't got
thru sayin' all want to you two idiots.
You is too much OBJ an object lesson TO
desc sinnahs before me fur me to dis
miss you too 'ruptly. want 10 press
on your intellex (f you hab any dat
dis ere gettin' married am nifty
solem circumstance. You two are
a-standin' on de threshold of life, while
/ shall soon go down de back entry oh
time You must advance while
must devance, and ! want you To slider
all de sponsibilitieJ dat you Is SUNNI
could dwell on dis subjeck long
time, but 1 am kinder tuckered out
myself. so I'll bring dis ceremony to a
conclusion, and denounce you man and
wife. De organist will please strike
up &c weddin march. and de happy
pair will den perambulate down de
middle isle. Please remember dat
dere's hole in de carpet jes opposite
Deacon Thompson's pew, so you'll hab
to lift your hoofs putty high SO as not
to stumble, fall down and Spite your
weddin' suits. De usual collection OF
weekly offerin's will be taken up Jes
as soon as de weddin' party submerge
into de porch, and in order to prevent
any one. else from a-skippin' out de
sexton will lock the door and put the
key in his pocket. Brudder White
and Brudder Green will pass 'roun' de
baskets, and be sure for to give back
no change"
1t only remains for me to add that
everything was fully carried out 'ac-
cording to the directions given.
A nRlInd SDlder.