Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1891-03-26
LINIE-KILN CLUB.
Reports ofthe Committees ON Divorce and
Finance
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I'VE hev met here dis eavenin," said
Brother Gardner when the meeting had
been opened in due form, Ito h'ar de
reports of sartin committees an discuss
de same. | may say right here an now
dat any puSSOn who frizzleS piece ot
leather on dat stove, or so fur forgits
hisself As 10 raise an alley wlnder to see
If his dawg am waitin' down dar, Is
gwine 70 be fined not less than To-
thousand dollars. Oar am sartin things
dis club believes TO be wrong, an Sartin
other things IL believes to be right, an
de people Of de State Of Michigan hey
deir eyes on Us an expect us TO do our
dooty We will now listen to de report
Of committees"
Judge Circumstance Lancaster, chair
man Of the committee appointed to IN
Qulre into the cause and effect OF d.
vorces, and suggest such changes rs
deemed expedient, reported as follows;
Your committee hey traced divorces
back tO period Ober 5000 years ago.
De chief cause seems 10 be dat husband
an wife can't agree Some folks think
dis fact is powerful queer, but we doan.
II iurieS can't agree-if nations cant
agree-if churches, societies, ladies an
clubs bust up bekaSe dey can't agree
II We differ in politics, religion, Gus
toms an habits, why should II be eX-
pccted dat husband al wife must agree?
II hev "a business partner wild whom |
can't get along de courts gin me way
out. but some folks make great hula
baloo bekaSe de courts ar' asked TO sep
arate couple who make life miserable
fur each CIDER. We would recommend
as follows:
'l. No courtship Of leSS'n three years.
80. No lyin' on either side.
-. Ebery new-married couple has got
to move right of by deirSelyeS 10 Dakota.
Among the members Of the club dis
cussing the motion To adopt the above
was Judge COmedOwn Carter, who said:
Il ar satisfied dat divorce orter be
made easy arter sartin condiShuns are
fultued-Such coudiShunS As dat COM
mittee has jist reported, but wheneber
a wife gifts divorce il orter be de law
dat she leaves nj least SIS In cash IN de
house fur DE husband to git along wild
until he can strike a new job
After some further discussion the re-
port was adopted.
Prof. Siugletree White, chairman OF
the committee on finance, reported aS
follows:
Your committee has traced de use
of money back TO 1000 vars b c., an
has not been able 20 End that de poo
man eber had any mo- dan he has got
to-day. 10 ar our opiuyun dat Sunthin'
ortcr De- done. Dis gwine aroun' dead
broke isn't only hurtful To de feelin's,
but VERY iucOuveuient. We would dar
fore recommend rs fOllerS:
81. Expand de currency until de
basket Stops ober.
seq. Coin 'nutf silver dat cherry man
will hey TO hev an extra hind pocket TO
carry his share.
3. make a days work six hours long
an de pay 81, but doan' hev too many
Of EN- in one week.
-. Bring de price Of whitewashin'
up al least 200 per cent, but knock de
price OF meat and 'taterS down TO de
VERY lowest notch.
IS. Fix il so dat cherry Guild pUSSon
in dis keutry who wants to wear dia-
monds an ride in his kerridge kin do so,
but II ridin' around makes his back
ache. den fix il So he kin open bank an
drink all de- champagne he wants to-
Waydown Bebee, Shindig Watkins,
Whaleboue Iowker, Giyadam Jones and
others spoke very strongly ON the QueS-
tiou of adopting the report, but brother
Gardner arose and said:
DAT report will bee sot down on an
laid on de- table indefinitely. Its too
soon. 10 asks fur too much. II We
could hey all dose things asked fur in
dat report we'd consider ourselves 50
clus 10 heaven dat nobody would turn
ont 70 Thursday evenin' prayer meetinS.
/ shall Instruct de Seckretary 10 say dat
10 IS the sense OF dis club dat de circu-
lation orter be increased about fo'teen
millyou dollars q var until cherry Guild
head of de family is able 10 have a rub
Der doah mat ON de top step an cuckoo
clock In de parlor De meetin' will be
now all broke up, to assemble agin at de
call of de seckretary.