The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-12-20
sUNFLowER sILHoUETTRs.

Theatrical people call the Crawford
| circuit IN Kansas 1.-THE dead gulch."
There is nothing in name. William
Dean Howells is not calamity man.
Ben Clover's maiden speech in congress,
if he makes it, will probably be amiss
A fivedays extra session of the legisla-
ture is said to be not at all improbable.
Farmer Smith is the only mentioned
candidate for governor who has not de-
clined.
AS for the Fifty-frst congress, there
were millions in it. 1t was billion-dollar
congress.
The poet Whittier has regular cor
respondent at Emporia. She is woman
Mrs. c. N. Sterry.
The sun comes up later and goes down
earlier today than on any other. 1t is the
shortest day of the year.
OF the employees of the Santa Fe road
10, pa live in Kansas and were paid during
the year S., 1879, 226 81 for their labor.
1t has been discovered that Jerry Simp-
son bears strong resemblance to Sam
Jones. The papers are carrying their ridi-
Guile Of Simpson entirely too far.
The young crowd are to give a banquet
at Topeka on the 18th of this month. 1t is
understood that the object is to bid adieu
to the old crowd along with the old year.
Jerry Simpson is doomed. At least there
is some satisfaction in knowing that the
government seeds Jerry will send to his
constituents will no more grow than those
distributed by Sam Peters.
The Republicans sat down on PETER
Then he went to the Democrats for help
and they sat down upon him. PETER went
to the senate to get a seat, but he seems to
have had one made out of, himself.
Funston is seen this week in the mex
plicable attitude of advising the president.
1t is not the presidents fault, though. He
looks over the rest of the crowd from Kan
sas and, per necessity, selects "Foghorn"
as the superior.
There is famous horse auctioneer out
in western Kansas. In selling horse he
always has this question asked from some
one of the bystauders: How old is hep"
and he invariably cries back with great
versatility, How old do you want him?"
Arkansas City had very popular joint
up certain stairway, but for some reason
it quit business. The owner of the build
ing was SO annoyed by the ceaseless tramp
ing of thirsty hordes that he put up this
unique sign at the bottom of the stairway:
keep Down. It's Gone" i
Elk Congressman Morrill, says that he is
not candidate for governor. and has no
idea of becoming candidate. He feels
that he has been honored sufficiently, and
af l. Of ho
comforts of his family, which can only be
found in private life. Instead of seeking
political worriments he intends to gradu-
ally withdraw from large amount of his
present business.
One of the eccentricities of Dan An
thongs nature is an antipathy for cpl
grams and aphorisms. He once said that
was the bugbear of small
minds. He is now trying to prove false
the old saying that "blood is thicker than
water" There must be something in
Kansas atmosphere that BODIES i'll to fam
lily harmony. Bill Rice and his father no
sooner get back to speaking terms than |
the Anthonys pull off their coats.
The subjects sat in solemn silence in
facing packed house. The |
wonderful man, stood back |
in the wing advising with the manager. Il |
have looked this house over" the manager
said, land it is strongly Democratic. Now,
out there in that crowd You are to examine
is a red headed man who is very popular
and wants to run for congress. And there
is a black haired man who is unpopular, !
very unpopular, and l advise you in your
rigamarole not to give him too much taffy.
He isn't liked and the audience might re-
sent it. You understand now? Red head
popular; black hair unpopular.
The phrenologist nodded and was out on
he stage a minute after, where he exam
ned subjects bumps, to the great de-
light of the audience He had picked out
he red headed man and the black haired
subject to reserve them for the last, but he
vas in serious pickle as to whether it was
he black haired man who was the popu-
ar man or the red headed man. He had
orgotten. He tried to fird the manager,
)ut he had stepped out. He racked his
brain, but to no purpose 1t might be the
ed headed man who was popular or it
night be the black haired, for all be could
Finally the critical moment
Irrived, and, trusting to blind luck, he
allied up the black haired man.
II observe" said the phrenologist "that
'ur friends bump of sagacity is fully de-
'eloped. Diplomacy, extra; judgment,
protuberant, insight and pene-
ration-extraordinary."
The audience smiled and the phrenol-
gist took it for encouragement. I'm
hort, ladies and gentlemen" he cried,
he is politician of high character and |
S just the man to send to congress"
There was wild cry of agony from the
ed-headed man; the audience arose to it's
eet, missiles flew through the air and
eneral scramble followed for possession
f the phrenologist.
Forty-ive minutes later this individual
With one coat sleeve torn off, his vest split
p the back aud two black eyes, stopped
anting in the next township. Picking I
he pieces of an egg-shell from one of his
airs, he remarked with quiet sardonic
mile: 1T was the red-headed man who
vas popular"
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The dispatches are filed every day, I
lrSt now with accounts Of Ia bOr from hlaS }