The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-08-18
sUNFLowER sILHoUETrEs.

The battle of cereals is on. But our corr
is not firing.
A big Kansas watermelon exploded IL
midair would be no SLOUGH of rainmakel
itself.
Jim Troutman wants to impeach Bill
Higgins. He has called convention fol
that purpose
4 In point Of popularity in Kansas Chi
cago Is away ahead of Shakespeare in quo
tatlons, just at present.
II this wheat corner becomes a perma
nent thing, the telegraph companies viii
nave TO establish cheap rate for quota
tlon tlckers in Kansas farm houses
What vast difference in the infection
of the farmers voice from last August
when he said, 'Corn's gone up" and this
year when he says, ''Corn's gone up"
Gen. Rice is out defending Kansas. 1t
Is interesting to know that the general
from his Broadway loan Office takes some
interest in Kansas, even if it is at 40 per
cent.
Governor Humphrey and Lew Hanback,
will stump Ohio for Mckinley next month
and try to demonstrate to the Buckeye
people that all Kansas people are not like
jerry Simpson and PETER.
A politician was talking to a crowd on
the street yesterday. How much did you
farmers get for your wheat last year, I'd
| like to know?" he yelled, land see how it
Is creeping up now. What does it2 l ask
you what makes your condition better
since last fall? Any sensible man can see
what did 1t. 1t was" but every mothers
son of his listeners bad fed. They knew
ne was going to say the Mckinley bill.
A great many bores get elected to Office.
out there is no greater one than Martin
Mohler, the secretary of the State Agrcul-
tural society. It is related that one day
prominent kansan called upon Mohler in
the state house and introduced himself
While he and Mohler were conversing,
Mohler pulled off his boot and then drew
of heavy, old gray sock, and began to
deliberately trim his toe nails. The visitor
didn't wait for more, but sprang up and
slammed the door in Mothers face.
In 4 southern tour recently young man
came rushing into the telegraph office,
seized a pen and wrote off a dispatch. 1t
was to city paper. Cant you clear the
wire?" he gasped, land send this right
through? 1t is great SCOOP" The OPP
orator read the dispatch through and be-
came greatly excited. He forwarded it
Immediately. The manager of the receiv-
ing office selected the most trustworthy
boy and sent him post haste to the news
paper Office, where the telegraph editor
wrote big scare head for it and notified
the pressman to put on 500 extra copies.
The dispatch was short 1t read: Jerry
Simpson made speech here today and did
not once make reference to the sock joke
on himself. Great excitement prevails"
A Sedgwick county farmer went home
last Saturday night, the very picture Of
detection, He took the hired man by the
sleeve and led him out behind shed,
Now" he said, bending over, Il want you
to kick me, and kick hard, too"
The hired man laughed. what do
want to kick you for?" he asked.
"Kick away and don't ask no questions"
The hired man shook his head
IF you don't kick me til instant, I'll
discharge you"
Tell me what's the matter, and then
maybe | will" the hired man suggested.
"Ain't | always been II Republican," the
farmer broke forth, Amt always voted
that ticket? Amt | always been dead set
agin the Alliance? Haven't / cussed 'em
black and blue?"
''Of course you have, we all know that"
said the hired man.
"Then kick away" groaned the farmer
''Those Alliance fellows told me to hold
my wheat. | told 'em that l didn't want
anything to do with their fool schemes.
and | hated 'em so that sold every bushel
early this morning to spite 'em. Two
hours later wheat riz 10 cents. Oh, Lordl !
Blaze away. And while I'm coming-to,
go over to Dad Jenkins and find out when
the next Alliance meeting is, and ask him |
if they'll take in new member Blaze |
away, now, hard"