Evening journal., 1891-08-10
HE FAD An APPELLEE.
A MarshalIton Lad VINO ate Not Wisely
But Too Well.


But Too Well.
Saturday afternoon an excited individ-
ual walked into Magistrate Sasse's Office,
and yelled:
81 want to see the 'squire'
well, here ! am, remarked Magis.
trate Sasse. What do you want2"
II want you to issue an attachment for
my brother-in-law."
This was a new kick and the curiosity
of the magistrate was aroused.
''Why do you want this attachment is
sued7' asked the genial magistrate.
"Whyl Can you look into my face
and ask whyi That brother-in- law of
mine is enough to justify me in getting a
divorce from my wife. Yes, sir; di-
vor ce-do, you understand? he is Just
like that old she-wolf Mr.. Dante de
scribes in his little piece about "Hell,
where he says, She with all wants is
filed. and many land has made desolate
ere now Yes, sir-desolatel That's the
word. No other word In the vocabulary
can express it. l want this attachment
issued for board. Why, your honor, he
has eaten me out of house and home; my
children are wearing my old clothes cut
down, and the baby is drinking chalk and
waters while mortgage my house In or
der to buy 1t can of condensed milk
The wolf is at my door, and has chewed
off both hinges and the door knob
Where do you liver
''Marshallton. At least that's where /
exist 1t hasn't been living since my
brother in-law took place at my table
Why Ii we had ice cream for dessert, he
would eat the cream. would lick the
spoon, my wife would kiss me, the child
rem would kiss her. and that's all the
cream any Of us got
Where was the board contracted"
"At my table
What does your brother In law do7"
Eats. You have heard what Shake
speare says; A man may eat. and eat,
and eat, and still be william l think
Shakespeare must hare had his brother
in-law living with him when he wrote
that When he wasn't eating he was
killing time at the iron mills.
Where is he nowY'
"In Wilmington. He Is going to
Chester on the o'clock or 6.45 o'clock
boat for Chester. | am afraid he will
walk into some Wilmington hotel before
he leaves and bankrupt it on so cent
dinner"
"WhRt are the circumstances In your
caseY asked the Magistrate.
my story Is plain narrative on grub
II is not embelished in the least You
see my brother in-law came to board
with me. | had heard that one addi-
tional in family made no difference,
and thought his board would come in
right handy. When he first came his
appetite was coy and modest But
familiarity changed all this and an inor-
dinate, Unsuitable, tape worm appetite
developed itself. used to sit at the
table and watch him with wonder. By
the time my wonder had vanished so had
my dinner. | have gone away hungry
many time. At first he paid regularly,
but.recently he ate more and paid less
than ever before. One day recently a
happy thought struck me- / made up
my mind to give him a square meal"
What did you do ?"
81 told my wife TO go to market and
buy q bushel of tomatoes. she did it
My brother-in-law saw her bring them in
and saw the water running over his
chin as he looked at than. told her to
stew them for dinner, this she did We
| had dinner at 4 o'clock that day. The
| tomatoes were placed on the table. Ii
addition we had meat, q pound of butter
and four big loaves of bread. Well; III
be gosh darned / sat there to see hin
get his fill for was determined to fl
him up. After awhile got hungry, anS
by that time everything on th'
table had disappeared down hii
| gullet and couldn't get
| spoonful He then went out in the var,
and licked the tomato juice off the stave
of the basket my wife had brought tn
tomatoes home in At o'clock he cam
in and wanted to know if supper WASH
ready. That settled me- told him t
leave He left after getting an order TO
wages due him cashed by grocer at /
per cent. discount. Then was out m
board money"
The magistrate told him that the onl
thing to do was to have his brother in
law arrested
"But If you do that you will have t
pay his board in Jail. +"
What Pay his board2 Thundert
tion guess not, you either want th
! county to get rich or me to get pool
/ know what I'll do I'll lick the son-o
! a-gun
"Yest Then you'll get in trouble.
That's so. Well lookee here
2 : you see anything in the paper aboI
Chester people dying OF famine, won
you please send a marked copy to M
! | want to show it to my wife"
As he went out the door he was hear
. to mutter:
: Oh the glutton, anyhow"
Il