The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1891-05-21
WIT AND IIUMOR.
PLUSKIN ERLOSG.

He keeps sorter cicse ter his self. Lem does.
Libt en- err heap like de chunts he pays;
Put yuh in min of "A time dat wuz-
An sometime t'ink it's de life dat pays;
Dat yoh're happier If yoh doesn't know
Bout de bustle an t!irong,
But jes' go
Plunkin' er.ong.
-PhiIander johnson in Washington Post.
She-.So she married for love, did
she?r Hc-,-Yes; love OF money. =
Epoch
One of the greatest OF home COM
forts is the shirt which isn't made at
home. Puck.
A drouth is reported in the sixth
ward. A talkatiye woman over there
has dried up.-Btp9hanlton Leader.
Spring is the seed time. To the fell
low who IS still wearing his last win
ter's clothes it is also the seedy time.
Bufdtt0 Express.
George told me last night
l was his little duck!' Ethel-"He
probably discovered that you were no
chicken. life.
Primus-"Is Hemans useful in the
church," Secundus--"Yes; principal
object of PRAYER, | believe. "-hate
FietdS Washington.
Men may be just as willing to hate
you for your virtues rs for your faults.
but they seldom have the same oppor-
tunities.-N T. Recorder.
Mudge-"Do you know what |
would do if | bad a million dollars? p
Yabslev-.Bu your own cigars, per-
haps." -Indidnapotis journal.
Joe-.'Why did they turn Hurry out
of the church? Did he get into bad
companv?" Tom-''Ys'; he joined
the choir. "-Detroh Free Press.
Mrs. Gadd-.I hear Mrs. Dadd is
going 10 move" Mrs. Gabb-'Yes,
She moves every year since she got her
new furniture. ~. Y. Weekly.
Move forward litter roared the
street car conductor. Il can't" gasped
the man in front. Il don't know how
to ride horseback. "-Hdrper'S Bdzdr.
He met your father last night
for the first time" How did he
strike you?" just like the rest Of
the boys. He wanted $5."-Detroit
Free Press.
Foreign Guest-'The Indians are
rather expensive. | presume" Amer
lean Citizen-''No. not while we let
them live; it's killing 'em that counts. "
Good Ne,0s.
Bimby-'I say, Clarence, you might
make me a present of that money l
owe you.n Clarence-"Td like to.
but can't give what l haven't got. -
Mems Outftter.
A correspondent, who does not give
his full name. sends us a poem headed:
Are You Wearv?" We have read it
attentively and eau truly say we are
Buffalo Commercial.
Playson-''You can't kindle much of
fire with poker chips" Ante-"No;
but you can create a blaze of excite
ment with them if you have full
hand. Phitadelphia Record.
"John," said the theatrical man.
ayers wife, what is meant by Il wild
cat investment" My dear" he said
solemnly, lit refers to the employment
of comic opera chorus. y Washington
Post
The incidental expense of presenta-
ton ut court in England is said TO be
about $500. In this country Il man
who is presented at court can frequent
ly get off for So and COSTS Boston
Herdid.
The Superfluous Man" is the title
of recently published essay. This is
the first time that the man who goes
shopping with his wife has figured in
serious literature, we believe. /.
Recorder.
Mrs Bingo-"There! | knew it.
Those moths have got ut your dress
suit and eaten hole right through
your pocket Mr.. Bingo-'They
must De female moths. CL0thier and
Furnisher.
De Bull-"De Lamb has Just made
$4,000 by Il sudden turn of the market
and is downtown whooping things up
lively" De Bear Intoxicated with
JOY, | suppose De Bull-"No; same
old stuff. IittsJury Dispatch.
DO brutes have language?" asked
the president of the Millville Literary
Circle at recent meeting. do
they2' replied the secretary: you
ought to hear my husband when he
loses his collar button."-M Y. Re
corder.
Are YOU good at hgures?" said the
manager of the hotel. Il have sys-
tematically trained myself for hotel
accounts said the applicant for Il
position "How?" Il never studied
anything but addition and multiplica-
ton. y Washington Post.
In the Geological Garden stranger
looking down into the bear-pit loses
his hold and falls over. Policeman
(hurrying up and seeing the bear
about to seize him) Sir. don't you
know that it is forbidden to feed the
animals? "-Fiiegende Batter.
Fancy Farmer-'Well. Patrick.
hear that you had little encounter
with my new Devonshire bull this
morning." Patrick-"Yis. yer honor"
Fancy Farmer-''Well. which came
out ahead?n Patrick "Shure. YER
honor. it was toss p."-Boston
Courier.
The following query was recently
addressed to a Philadelphia paper:
will you kindly let me know through
NOuI paper now can MAKE al c0g )
shell strong?' And the Philadelphia
paper did not know enough to tell him
to keep the egg till the inside became
strong"
Watts How did young Biggars
happen TO lose his government posi-
tion?" Potts-'.Don't say anything
about it, but it was on account of en-
bezzlement. He was in the weather
service, you know. and played in about
$500 worth of TIE Office wind in game
of poker" Indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. Stolt-"That was a very small
piece of roast beef you brought me; |
ordered al extra large cut" Waiter
Dat was de large size, sah." Mr.
Stout-"W hats the difference, then?"
Waiter-''When gent'man orders de
extra cut. sab. de cook puts it on big
plate an l charges you 60 cents in
stead oh 40, sah."-SmSth, Gray d
Co. S Monthly.
The following letter shows how a
young gentleman made money by pub
L.