The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-05-12
BRIGHT BITS.

THE ETHICS Of your profession do not permit
you Go advertiser"
No" sadly answered the hungry young
physician, mot even in the want column. -
Indianapolis Journal
OFFANoN-And is Miss Grace to have two
chaperones? What is that for?
Old Peterby-That's on your account. When
you call they are to ceaperon by watches three
hours of and three on Harrisburg telegram.
THE CHAMPION wrestler with the English
language is employed as newsper correspondent
at Franklyn, ia. In writing account of the
work of an incendiary. he says: This g.
O'Clock in-the morning fire has given super
stitious people here a cold chill. "-NeWork Ad-
UerttSer. e ri -
LADY in Bangor, Me-, who has been para
lytic since 1879, has been restored to health rid
ing in an electric car. On several late night
cars in this city partially paralyzed citizens
have been seen riding. but it ives never sup
posed they were out riding for rheir health
81. Paul Pioneer Press.
LANpLADY-Have some of this butter, Mr.
Bordaine.
Mr. B-No, thank YOU.
Landlady-Ah, you don't love butter.
Mr.. B.-Well, can't say that love that but
ter; but, my dear madame, assure you that it's
age commands my sincere respect W shiag-
ton StGr.
LITTLE Johnny Fizzletop has the habit Of
waking up every night and demanding some
thing to eat At last his mother said to him;
thing at night
well, 1 don't think I'd care much to eat any
thing either in the night if kept my teeth in a
mug or water. - erds SiftingS
INSIDE the clock Iput all bills
And there they strike plane:
For, while my creditors may lose.
The clock. meyhap, will gain.
There on par all things are tick,
And Justice wears the crown;
For while the bills are running up,
The clock keeps running down!
--Smith-GrDU Monthly.
He who parts his hair in the midde)-I will
never marry a woman who parts her hair on the
side
She (who parts her hair on the sidel-And I
can assure you that l will never marry a man
who parts his hair in the middle.
(Silepce.)
He (who parts his hair in the middle)-We
may as we'll part forever, then.-MLnsey's
Weekly.
FoeGs-There's nothing so delicious in the
world as to reach out of bed in the morning to
ring for your valst to come and dress you.
Brown-Have YOU a valet?
FoggS-No, but have a bell. .
Brown-But what good does it do you to ring
it, No valet will come in response
Foggs-rhat is just the most delectable part
of it. AS the valet doesn't come, you don't
have to get up.-Boston Transcript.
THERE'S young doctor uptown who will
have to improve his methods or he never will
have patients enough to maintain him.
woman came in to see him only two days ago
iOOhlhR ndSSdTu ana pale.
We'll" he said, "what is t?'
"I'm troubled with insomnia" she sighed;
what shall do for it?'
sleep it off, madam; sleep it off, he ad-
vised, CURLY. and asked her for S2-Detrot
Free Press.
YALE STUDENT recently handed in paper
TO his professor, and was surprised the next day
to have it returned with a note scrawled on the
margin. He studied it diligently, but was una
BILE to decpher the note, and so be brought his
paper back to the profe Ssor.
Il can't quite make out what this is, if you
please. said the student
That, sir" said the professor; "why, that
SAYS 1 can't read your handwriting You write
ilegibly, sir.-Sprinofeld Rep,lb icdn.