davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
TWO PRACTICAL JOKES.
Both Worked Nicely, But the Last Worked


Both Worked Nicely, But the Last Worked
A couple Of gay young German artists
were in the habit of playing practical
jokes on one another. They were not
too much run down with orders, SO that
they had plenty of TING.
With necessary view to economy
they roomed together. One evening
PemseEleft the symposium of choice
spirits in neighboring studio a little
earlier than his comrad.., and on the way
to their domicile worked out what he
supposed was capital trick. Arriving
at their chamber, he bid the bootjack
used in common, and then painted an
imitation thereof upon the floor where
the genuine usually lay.
Klexal, the other of the pair, reached
home ere Pemsel had gone to sleep.
Lighting a candle, he looked around for
the bootjack, and seeing what he sup
posed to be it had quite time with
himself and those portions of his native
tongue rich in emphasis before he no
ticed he had been hoaxed.
Determined on revenge the next night
he made an excuse for forsaking his as
sociates, and rushing home placed a
large plate containing the remains Of
his dinner soup on chair beside Penn
sells bed He then retired TO await de-
velopments.
His friend returned soon after, super
naturally alert to the need Of heading
on klexal in his intended joke, what
ever y might be. Seeing the plate on
his chair, he pitied his friends lack OF
originality, and convinced that, follow
ing his own example, Klexal weakly
wished 10 fool him by plate painted
on the chair, he triumphantly sat down
on 1t and found himself really---in the
soup. Phi ,adelphia Times
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
STRANGE SYRIAN PETS.
A Lady's Only Companions We're Hyena
and q LYNX.

The author of '.The Inner Life of
Syria" gives an interesting account Of
the success with which wild beasts
have been tanned in that country. The
writer, being lady, and having some
singularspets of her own, was better
prepared to appreciate what the ma
tives had accomplished in that direction.
At one time she visited the wife of a
Hungarian officer.
She was living quite contentedly in a
mud hut, and her only companions
were hyena and a lynx, which slept
on her bed like two lapdogs. The hyena
received me at the gate, and though
was not prepared for it, 1 innocently
did the right thing, as she afterward in
formed me.
The animal came and shifted at my
hands, and then jumped up and put it's
forepaws on@my shoulders and smelt
my face
"Oh," thought, .'if it takes bit out
of my check, what shall do?''
But l stood as still as statue, and
tried not to breathe, looking at it stead
lily in the eyes all the while At last il
up ito W DclTltuu
jumped down and ran before me like a
dog into the house, where found the
lynx on the divan.
Pet No. 2 sprang at me, mewed and
dashed his tail till his mistress came in.
She told me that when people began to
scream or to drive the hyena away il
took pleasure in worrying aadfright-
ening them.
3 went afterward to the husbands re-
ception room. He had gone out for a
short while. The hyena had got in, and
l found my husband, the Russian Con-
sui and French gentleman all sitting
on the divan with their legs well tucked
up under them, and looking absurdly
uncomfortable at the frightful beast, as
the Count called it had good laugh
at them, as the hyena and were already
on friendly terms.-N. Y. journal.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07

accedea 10 BY sallie. All agreed upon
secrecy, except that the conductors
should make confidants Of their engi-
necrs.
Anxiously the father and daughter
awaited the coming of the trains the
next afternoon. Fully twenty minutes
before schedule time the familiar
whistle rang out, and Billy,s engine
came to a standstill just as Jacks train
came around the bend. Billy was ex4
ultantly happy The next day, however,
Jack was sitting upon the porch talking
serenely Vi the prize when Billy's en-
CINE came into view.
The following day would decide IL,
and the morrow found four eager hearts
wondering what the result would be.
About ten o'clock, however, a steady
rain set in, which apparently settled
the question OF fast time being made
that day As Billy passed down the
line and saw the soaking woodpiles he
felt exceedingly blue, but while ponder
ing great thought came into his brafn,
and his countenance cleared IN an in
slant When he got to the end of the
run he took the engineer aside and ex-
planned something. which caused a
broad grin to overspread the features
of that worthy. Billy was next seen in
a provision store, and ere the train de.
parted an odd-loolxing barrel marked
Sugar Cured was put aboard the ems
CINE. His train made glorious time that
afternoon, and when the passengers
asked how the engineer managed to
keep up steam Billy smiled, but said
nothing. He felt no forebodings of de-
feat now. Poor old Jack must be a
dozen miles down the road, and right
around the curve was Yocum's. ''Hur-
rah, Billy said to himself. ssHurr-"
he did not finish. From the car plat
form he saw something that made him
rub his eyes in establishment Was it
Jacks train lying there sofquietly on
the siding, or had his senses deserted
him? A wild screech of triumph from
the waiting engine made him realize it
was indeed true. His rival had won. the
third heat.
Jack, taking warning from his de-
feat the first day, had wisely bargained
with the wood-stationN man for spe-
cial supply of dry pine-knots, and these
were supplemented ON the rainy day
with az barrel of pine tar.
Billy danced at the wedding but the
sight of a ham has filed him with dis
gust ever since. Chicago Journal
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07

and Mr.. Quay's candidate was beaten,
strong argument being that the peo-
pie Of Pennsy wanna could not accept a
candidate from polluted hands. The
election in Mr.. Quay's own state went
without word from him, is to whether
no was worthy to sit III the United
States senate, Or whether he should
Join the confratefnity in Moyamensing
prison.
Now, at the eleventh hour, this plenti<
fully tattooed and branded lead Vt Tia
republican party comes out on the fIoos
of the republican senate, where He knew
perfectly well that there would be no
cross-examination, no pertinent ques-
tions, no objections, with long string
of glittering generalities, simply for tie
purpose of getting personal explanation
in that harmless publication known as
the Congressional Record. He cannot
decisive anybody by this personal appli.
cation of the whitewash brush. He must
take the American people for parcel
of fools if he thinks that they will pay
any heed to his lame excuses. The time
has long gone by when he might have
spoken with reasonable hope Of being
believed. AS we'll might convict in
state prison, in serving the second OF
third year of his sentence, expect cred
ence to his explanation Of his crime a.
Matthew Stanley Quay at this time.
Better far for this branded chief of tho
republican party, had he kept his mouth
shut to the end He would have al
least earned the respect Of political des-
peradoes like himself He can now de-
ceive nobody, and nobody will read his
lame excuses for his conduct save with
feelings of loathing and aversion. His
explanation may leave him at the head
Of his party, but the people will make
short work Of such a party and such q
leader.-Albany Argus.
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
THE AMERICAN SALON.
Room For Such an Institution In Washing
tons Brilliant Society.

Room For Such an Institution In washing
tons Brilliant Society.
The material for salon very possibly
exists in Washington, but the most of
it is little raw and unhuskedA The
average Congressman Is not going to
worry himself into dress-suit and go
to some clever woman's house merely
to talk, to discuss public questions
and say bright things. He prefers
to do that at the Capitol and have
1t printed in the Record or pour it into
the interviewer's ear and have it spread
broadcast through his district. His
ideas Of sociability include bounteous
hospitality, and are inseparably associ-
ated with bodily food A thin wafer
with glass of gooseberry sirup and
water will not satisfy, stimulate nor
adequately reward his expectations,
founded upon even verbal invitation.
He appreciates terrapin and cham
payne, and, getting them, seeks for the
Interior motive. ''I've been asked to
dinner twice this session by Smith.
What do. you suppose he wants?''
queried perturbed Congressman.
And this is the usual view taken of
even the simplest and most friendly
Inequalities extended for goo l-fellow-
ships sake. ss
The family Of certain high official
of means came to Washington intent
upon setting an example OF Spartan
simplicity and frugal elegance in the
way of entertainments. They sent out
engraved cards fortnight before
hand and the heated and crowd
ed guests We're regaled with a
vision of . young lady, teapot
and plate of waters when they reached
the dining-room. Society naturally
criticised. and blunt old soldier
wished that the money paid the en-
graver had been spent on caterer and
that an informal entertainment had not
succeeded q formal invitation.
A shrewd, rich and illiterate woman
who came to Washington determined
to get into society looked the field over
for season and said: Il know how to
do it. Feed 'ent' And she did, and
conquered, and rose to that ultra circle
which affects to scorn officials and poll
ticians and hangs upon the diplomatic
corps The secret Of such social sue
cess lies solely in the pocket-book, the
salad bowl and the punch bowl, and II
Is attained by all who will judiciously
distribute their contents. Such circles
are the antipodes Of q snlon, but It Is
out of the mass Of such material that
salon must choose its recruits, and peo-
pie more or less affected by such social
standards and SURROUNDINGS must n,
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
"a LITTLE NONSENSE

Funny, when man starts out on q
business career the more checks he re-
ceives the sooner he gets there. Bing-
hamton Leader.
lit don't pay to be kind to petss"
said Johnny. Chilled the goldfish globe
up with milk one day, and the Ash all
died. "-Harper's Bazaar
No Trust 1t is said that a dynamite
trust has been formed, but any man
who will put much trust In dynamite,
had better make his will before he does
it.-Ram's Horn.
Probably Not Available. Wife Of
Magazine Editor-"Cyrus, l have just
got letter from mamma She sends
you her love-" Husband absorbed in
his manuscripts)-"Any stamps for re-
turn postage?"
"A Fit Of Economy. am very
economical these days. have given mp
smoking, and even shave myself, so
You see, in order to have little pleas
IRE, have bought me a saddle horse"
-Fliegende Batter.
Poor Deari--A tender young thing
just married who went to Japan art
store for japanned tin coal-scuttle and
didn't find 1t is positive that advertise
ments are the wiles Of humbug and
no signs are to be relied upon. Chicago
Times.
Down All Around. Two depart.
ment clerks we're looking in fur store
window filed " it'll marhed-down goods.
"That 50 cape there is just like am, =
said one. ''How's that?" inquired his
companion Reduced to S5."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Art of Conversation. ~ Uncle
Josh" How's your father?' Miss Belle
Very well, thank you" Uncle Josh
Flows your mothers Miss Belle
"She's well too Uncle Josh latter
three minutes pause -sHow're your
parcnts?"--Y Yale Record.
Two Kensington school girls were
discussing their teacher: "You can't
please her" said one. "She gave NJ 4
sum in arithmetic, and what do you
think? copied the answer out Of q
key and she marked it wrong because
was In hurry and left one figure
out. Philadelphia Record.
"There's chiel amang ye."-F First
Little Girl My sisters beau Is going
to raise pair Of side whislxers Sec.
ond l.. g.. That's nothin'; my sisters
fellows got such q long ,nustache that
he can tie It behind her neck; was
peekin' through the blinds last night
and saw him do it," Brooklyn, Eagle
Didn't Know II Revolved Mn.
Hayseed Say, Joshua, what's that
light ont there?" Farmer Hayseed ~
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
WHERE BEER IS fhsEs
workmsn in Brewerles Allowed 70 Drln
An They Can Hold.

wovkmen in Isreweries Allowed 70 Drink
\ ~ they .An fao'a
Inc oaiiy iI!es 9! tns iaployes = ~
- .s''..s
esung aacs ior s,ose unss.ua'as q
Win the inner working q sn,s ex'e Salr
sive orancn " Inuusey. n1AAe a.,,.s
businesses sne employees never "sary -
~ ana put rev ins.anees Ate Nno 'n
where any nave ,eit tto toiiow sno'ner
mode OF me, hs = ee1srsi .nins tne
men VINO work " oreWeries sfV eospu-
lent ana IN appearance are neai'ny
specimens. bit y Is a matter q serious
doubt u theF hves are ~ long - tne
average.
whether the shortness 81 NE y auS
TO the proximity OF the peer ke8 nes
never been dennitely settiea, out tnere
Is saying among them wnicn explains
their consistency TO the business, namely
that wniie Inc lasts u Is pleasant Inc
nrst thing an empioye does on resuming
- 0essy r. nAgnz1y szocaeas - sees me
fresh Reg OF beer winch IS contipuaiiy
kept on tap Tor the men.
ms nome par as ~ Is known,
" one OF the most interesting Ieat-
ures IN tne brewery seneraaay
stands IN the nrst department Tor the
coolng process ana wnere the old kegs
are washed ana prepared LOT reniiipg.
Inc par Is usually pniit OF poilshed
oak, and, while . great many are made
very simple, others are handsomely
ntted up, and rs much care Is taken OF
them as Of those IN saloons lmme-
diately BACK OF the stand are two cases
elegantly carved and arranged SO that a
keg can rest easily IN each. AS soon MS
one keg Is emptled II IS replaced by
another, and II one remain standing Tor
an hour without being emptied 1t Is re-
placed by fresh one TINS way only
the coolest ana freshest beverage IL
ever-tasted by the men who make II.
A man STANDS pehind the par, and IS
kept busy from morning until night
serving the Deer There Is scarcely q
moment IN the day In which there Is
not some one walting Tor q drink. NO
charge Is made to the employees, and
each man is allowed 70 drink as much
as he chooses.
At one brewery where especial pride
is taken IN the appearance OF the bar
and the comfort OF the employees, II has
been estimated that between eight and
Twelve kegs & day are consumed. There
are seventy men employed, and each
one averages between hfteen and twenty
| glasses day. Many OF these, however,
| abstain from drinking altogether. None
| are ever seen intoxicated, and as a rule
brewers are considered among the so
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
BEDTIME FANclEs.


Out from the corners and over the i3oof
Come hocking and hock.ne tho shadow band: :
VIII get in my little white coach ana drive
Through the Valley Of Dreams into Slumbcr.
land.
have four black horses that Night has lent.
call the name Of my coachman Sleep;
And thu little white coach is coy, ana soft
AS restle down In IT'S GU shions deep.
Heigho, we are on. The horses 10 slow
At Brst, then fast and faster still
With silent hoof beats speeding on,
Down to the foot Of the Drowsy Hili.
This twilight place Is the Valley Of Dreams.
Where all the wonderful dream things ara
And the balsam groves and the poppy fields
That stretch on ever and ever SO FAR
The dream forests rustic their secrets out.
The lights OF the dream towns twinkle ana
shine,
And the white dream ships from the narbor
sail
Away to the dim horizon line.
All the sounds Of the Valley are growing
faint,
Its sights are fading ON either hand.
-Ieress the border still and dark,
And enter tho real Sunderland
Virginia 9. Gardner, in ~ Y Independent,
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
WHAT THE HOTEL CLERK SEES
The Curious Habits OF Guests In tht
Hoste1ries.

------
The Curious Habits q 6uests IN nj
os.slraes. 49,.
= ~ ',a'lts 4.
sss~.s.- y -. ts.sl 49,
~ 80 -. = ~
no o.lA VIII ' ase
P9n 9ss = =. saa.'. II
~. rs, As sons -, -
sne ues.s - .no oss'l'u 'eu 800 -
- 10 ~ ' = ~, =,
=. '.os :. VIC ,'oss. ~ !. a.. - -
- - - !, ua,s tha;.
- - 1'.l,'.-ss:. Ill.
- ~ :, 80, -. 49, -,
e.. NJ :. -. :, sss 8 - - ~
r. ..s.l.;.. - a.xs-a.t a,sau..ta
sPsaAns - -, III -. sna. ~ s, ~
- :. ~ ~. $3.50 : " - a. ~. 80 =
a.. IS "a az ..e - ~ o - so s.v 49,.
-, - 49,, - -. .,.s
..s s.a,s ~ a'N1,ss
$50 -. !. - go -. -
-, -. ."ss Nv. uaS.s, .. !.
,, -, y ~, = h.e1 = 80 i = :,
-" - 40 -. 49, 80: 80
- Ia ' y, ~ 49, e ~ AZ a av,s 80
- 80 - 80 y 80 - -.
49,. - .s :, -. - A ~, = 8,
r. ..sS;,,, 81. 90 T., ~ 49,. 49,
80 = ~
s...,.s "a $50. a~a5 ~ ~
800 p 1
Ao .mT -,
- 49, 4. :
-, - asy, = - 49, - az ~
"o 80 ~. y 'anse' ana ~, - -.
90 !. -. -: y e - 49,
a. = &c, 4, .aa.s ~
80 - = 81 - : = - o'.'
~ ~. ~ p'a' 49, .naAo go ~.
~ ~ 1ppo.,e eoin' anu 1nea ~, eaAe =
~ vseA ~ ~ ,n 'a.s 'naAs .ne ~.
Z; ans = a.. aa 800 10y pasas CIV
~ 90. 80 thae On every rainy ihorninB as
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07
RECIPROCITY PRINCIPLES.
= Necessary Substituted for Doomed n

- Nocessefy ruoStifutel Tor Doomed Fro
lection.
james q. Blaine keeps his ear close
To the ground and is man Of great ir-
gennity. II was habit which enabled
him to discover in advance the doom Of
protection and d quality that einpow-
cred him to FACE about Without seem
ing TO turn. He has substituted reci-
procity for protection with all the deft-
ness OF conjuref transforming copper
pennies into silver quarters. What il
reciprocity? Free trade based upon
protection principles.
According to protectionists it is preju-
dicial TO the people Of a nation TO re-
ceivc more goods from the people OF any
other nation than they send to those
people. Or, in the language of polit-
ical economy, If exports and imports
between two nations do not offset each
other the nation which imports more
than 1t exports is afflicted with IAN adj
verse balance of trade" This is q kind
OF afiiction which an individual might
bear with considerable equanimity, but
protectionists regard it as species of
commercial tuberculosis when the in
dividuals Of country are concerned as
an aggregation; and, notwithstanding
the fact that Ireland has long had a
balance Of trade in her favor" coun-
tries are supposed to be impoverished
by importing and enriched by export
ing. Influenced BY this middle age no
ton, Mr.. Blaine proposes that we be
not allowed to order what we want from
another coffntry unless the government
OF that country permits its people to or
der what they want from us. But wher-
ever this reciprocal arrangement can
be effected Mr. Blaine would proclaim
free trade. What if our. workingmen
are thrown out Of employment by the
influx of pauper-made goods? What if
the farmer is deprived of his home mar
ket? What if our industries are pre-
vented by foreign competition from di-
versifying? What if steel rails do rise
to one hundred and sixty dollars ton
and calico to thirty cents a yard? What
il wire nails do once more rival gold in
price? Every objection to free trade
disappears provided, forsooth, the free
trade is reciprocal! AS if it would not
; oe i :. ii spfo'eceloh were aooi-
Asl ~ ,....-..---...---....
~ nn Ia sirlae is.'nere ~ reeiproeity
sna. 80 nov a.sa.n IN lar sreaesr per.
ieooion ~ iree trsaue. now can IL make
aa.... et en.1..o va. peopie u 'iis
1 90, "lleo 'nen imports iioii,
Ia - a.e oase. " eApor.s ~ D, ran
" - " countries WIN wiiicn
We ihiPor. more
ION DraNn .n.,n we we eApor. 70 lha'
ooune5 ~ Pay .ne uiilefenee ~ means al !
:, ~ Us oas1u on co,liilioai'ies shipped
. :l 70, I'm -. osl'er countries we
inpo.e aessn .nah we export 70 mem
anu summary as,iey pay ene uiiierence
=. - a.se, ~ ~ % eal, els 1aoo u
eoli.sineu slisie s - 1uoh .,,ins Us :
eonsinuous uiile.enee mnen on parties
- .ne M Tonoio," aa''on 80 oons,''-
800 ~ peopie - ols na',on may os
The Logan County banner. [volume] (Logan, W. Va.) 1889-1903, 1891-05-07

DR.. Piller- I'd like to get few mot
toes to hang M in my reception room.
You know my patients sometimes have
to wait quite awhile for their turn, ;lno
they might as well BE- study ing So ne
improving sentiment.
Dealer Yes. sir. Would you / Ixe
something like Prepare 10 meet IA,
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-05
home and left the bar in charge Of stran-

home and left the bar in charge Of stran-
ger, with such
vILLAINors CAST OF CoUSrESAScS
that l dismissed all thought Of ieav-
ing 1t with him. Just as ! had
a ,aSs ,5s made u,ag Up ny +bs mind -as to
and run for it, the door opened and a
stranger entered to get light. Having
procured 1t he was about TO go out again
when | called him back and, taking him
aside, stated my predicament and offered
him s. 10 accompany ME to the depot. He
looked me full in the face and said How
do you know l myself nm not thieff"
The question staggered me. for in truth
did not know, but had taken snap iudg
mert, rs the saying is. However, l told
him ! WAS willing to take the risk, and
pulled out nv pocketbooll 10 pay as | had
promised. He saw the money il contained,
but told me to put 1t away and come with
him. he did not want my money. We stepped
out together and very soon heard the
sound Of pursuing footsteps.
Ny companion instructed me TO keep on
walking when We turned the next corner,
and he would stop and see what our purSu-
ers wanted. He concluded by saying: You
need not wait for me IS live il another d.
rection. Here we are. so step out lively
and a safe journey TO you" did as he d.
rected but curiosity
COMPELLED NE TO GLANCE BACK
as the two Men came around the corner.
saw my companion suddenly step out Of 4
convenient doorway with 4 pistol in each
hand. and ulth ough could not hear what
he said, saw the footpads turn to the right
ABOUT ard start up the street al Il lively
pace, my protector keeping his
pistols covering them until they had van
ishei in the darkness, when he replaced his
weapons and turning the corner disap-
peared from my view. made short time
to the depot, where ! arrived safely and
made il home all right
have been in town score OF times since
and have v2inly endeavored TO find my IN
known friend, and had about given up tine
idea OF ever seeing him again when most
unexpected found him to-day" He stopped
for moment to gulp down whole glass of
beer, and then in answer to orr inquiring
looks concluded: He was shot Yesterday
by cowarily cur, and you know him Us
Jesse James" G. A. B.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1891-04-05

reason Of this strong attachment which Tho
ruler of Persia eyinces for the boy. Ais Z.
Sultan2 The following story is told in con-
uection with this
SINGULAR CASE OF PAvORITIsN:
II is said that Axis, when only child Of
three years, sprang into the shah's arms
and clung SO closely to him that when the
hour for retiring came he could not FREQ
himself from the boys embraces. and vas
prevented from seeking the couch he had
intended. This strange conduct on the part
OF II child aroused within the shah's mind
4 suspicion that all was not right, and he
ordered the servants TO examine the bed in
which he had intended TO sleep. The res III
WAS that q large poisonous snake was found
coiiGd within the snecrS, ready 10 sink its
dedth-dealiug f8ngs into the first intruder
who should disturb is repose. From that
hour the shah has looked upon the boz as
his mascot" his lucky star, preventing
him from evil and bringing him only good
luck and prosperity. This is believed to be
the true cause Of the shah's infatua, ion,
and fer his dislike Of being separated from
Ais Z. Sultan.
COUNTESS NoRRAIKow.