St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-01-14
SAINT PAUL.
Additional City News on Page 8.
STRETCHED FROM LIFE.

They tell a strange story on DR..
Ancker in connection with recent case
under his charge at the city hospital.
1t was late last Saturday night when a
lady about fifty years old was taken in,
suffering from a severe scalp wound.
She was carried in and laid in posi-
stiOn for convenient operation by the
surgeon. Her hair was matted with
blood, and blood was still yelling from
the wound. The doctor at once pro-
ceeded to clip away the hair surround,
ing the injury, and had cut small
patch bare, when the patient, recover
ing consciousness, exclaimed:
Pull it off, doctor"
''Pull what off,"
"Why the hair: pull 1t Off"
The surgeons glanced significantly at
each other, each possessed OF the same
idea-the woman's mind was wander
ing.
They were about to proceed with the
operation when the patient again cried
out:
whats the use of spelling the wig;
can't you pull it Off"
Sure enough, little tug brought
away all the hair in a bunch. The
patient was as bald as a coot, and the
CORY spot in blonde wig.
III
1t isn't very often that an exciting In
cident occurs at the postofice. AS
general rule, although there are plenty
of people to be seen rushing in and out,
the crowd is strictly on business. Yes
terday afternoon the record was broken.
About $50 in the fall of the day large
red-haired man, with Stubbly beard on
his face, stepped up to the general de-
livery window and inquired:
Anything for Patrick Maloneyw
The words were hardly out of his
mouth before a distinctly Irish gentle
man, who had been awaiting his turn,
jumped and grabbed the speaker by the
throat.
Il caught yez this time, bad cess to
vez." he yelled. shaking MIR. Maloney
like rat. "Shure it's meSilf is Pathrick
Maloney, and divil letter has MalOney
had in two months"
The big man managed to free himself
and there was giVe-9nd-take session.
in which the hOnOrS were even.
''I'll tache yeZ to be jumpln' onto
rispictible gintleman," yelled the as
saulted one, recovering his breath.
The cOmbatants were about to sail in
at each other again when the clerk put
his head out of the window and sug-
gested mildly for their benefit that per-
haps there might be two Patrick Ma
loneys. The suggestion was bright
one. Both claimants for Maloney's
mail bent their heads over copy of the
city directory and found that there
were at least twenty of them. The de-
livery clerk pointed out that he knew
each and every one of those MalOneyS
by sight, and knew where their mail
came from. Then he handed out to
each of the men his correct mail, and
That carried conviction of the truth of
his assertion. The two Maloneys left
the pOStOffice arm in arm explaining
matters, their departure being witnessed
by an amused crowd.
IL
policeman, I've been robbed; my
pocket has been picked"
The speaker was a nervous, sharp
featured lady Of middle age, who was
awaiting a train at the union depot, and
she was addressing the depot police
manr
when did it happen?" asked the Off
ger.
Just few moments ago. See that
man over there? Well, he pushed
right up close to me, and L believe he's
the thief"
Better search through your pockets
well before you make CHARGE" sug-
gested the policeman.
mo use; / tell you I've been robbed,
and there's the thief" she exclaimed,
growing excited.
Excuse me-" persisted the cautious
guardian of the peace, but what is that
you have in your hand?"
What's that? Why. good gracious,
that's the funniest thing l ever did in
my life. just fancy my walking about
looking for my pOcketbook, and had it
in my hand all the time! Pm so much
obliged, Mr.. Policeman"
The officer said something about not
mentioning it, but just the some he was
mentally GUESSING the flightiness which
had nearly caused the arrest of an inno-
cent man on grave charge.