The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-09-11
CROSS-CUTS.

Potts. remember that he possessed that
power before he reformed; when he was a
street car conduotor.--New York Herald.
Pipkin--You must hear the great re-
former. the Rev. I. N. De Gator, whose
burning words are moving hundreds to 90
forward.
Curious Friend-I wonder why they call
it blank verse? Disguised Tragedian-Be-
cause there's nothing i'll it.-Baltimore
American.
Will Gust returning from a six weeks
trip)--How do you like my new mustachs?
Millicent-It just tickles me to death
Brooklyn Eagle.
Waiter-What kind of soup will you
have? Beenthere just plain. Waiter
What do You mean by that? Beenthere--
Without any thumb in it.-Boston Courier.
Misunderstood gracious. I think there is
a man following close behind us! Jennie
Well, don't walk 80 fast dear. He never
can catch up with us.-New York Telegram.
You may talk about your steam presses
that will turn off thousands of Impressions
an hour, but the summer girl prefers the
impression made by the old fashioned hand
press. Boston Bulletin.
''Your trip to the seashore must have done
you good. You look like a new man."
II feel like seven men,"
"How's that"
Engaged to Sc zen girls."--Life.
"And so you think she no longer loves
YOU
Il know it. She used to let me help her
on with her ten-button gloves, and lately
she has worn nothing but the one button
kind. Oh, I can take a bint,--St. Joseph
News.
EYES," said the editor, as the mad sub
scriber shot him down, I'VE said that we
were here to stay and this proves it. Ring
up the coffin factory.'-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
SMITH hear that Simpkins has just got
a pension. lie never saw any service, did
he' Tompkins-No; but he lost his voice
urging his neighbors to go to the 'front.'
New York Sun.
Ethel Fishing for II compliment,.-,l
wonder what he saw il me to fall in love
with. Narissa-That's what everybody
says. But men are serious creatures, dear.
New York Press.
The Proper Recognition ,--Dimmick: |
hnve fallen away to half of my former
weight. Kickshaw: Why doesn't Mrs,
Dimmick put on half mourning?-Smith,
Gray y Co.'s Monthly.
All of a Kind.--Irotter: It's hard luck
to have a homely prima donna in comic
opera. Foster: Why sol? Trotter: Be-
cause all the chorus girls nave to be lust
80 much homelier. -Harrlsburg Telegraph,
st. Peter-Who aro you? Applicant-Au
humble Texas rainnlaker. St. Peter-Um,
You'd better apply one story below. THEY'VE
been complaining Of drought there ever
since the country Was settled. New York
Herald.
1t viii BE Chilly For Him.-Hunkor
VINO wants to propose: Miss Scadds, let
us go out on the porch. Shall | get your
wrap? Miss Scadds: Thanks, but | shan,t
need 1T. You might put on your overcoat.
however.-Epoch.
"You need Il change" the doctor said.
And you ought to have more %relaxation.r
The patient smiled and shook his head,
Then gasped as he turned over in bed,
"Pve just returned from a months vaca.
tion-New York Journal.
Theirs something wrong. il seems to me,
That, while we siog Of mater,
TEere's not a bard of minetrelsy
Who'll chant in praise Of pater.
His only song ] bring To mind
IL rife with this refrain
Devoid of truth and most unkind:--
THE old mans drunk again.
! New York Herald.