New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1891-04-28
THE TALK or TIE DAY.

which he calls bore bell" and he says II Is great
thing. When he IS tackled b. bore, when his
lady visitors insist giving him the history Of all
their relatives and their Ills tho Doctors foot sud
denly touches a spring. which rings the bore bell'
and in rTIshes servant with important message
telegram. The visitors tedious tale is interrupted,
and shs or he leaves the Office because the doctor Is
busy you know. The same message or telegram can
be used great many times, and the doctors callers
never suspect anything.
Wanted MISUNDERSTANDING There's gent out
i,ere wants ter buy that brlnde pup. Wotll charge
DoalerI told you to get rid of that pup for So, or
Dcalcr-Oh, is hel Then tell him he can't have
that pup Tor less than s15.-(Yankee Blade
In Winnipeg they ask 800 foot less 70, a corna
lot than for inside one because it costs 50 much
to clear of the snow in winter around corner lots
that people don't prefer them.
Two Poets ard Two poems.-Lorghar "a poet-I
wrote poem to my sweetheart and she took it as a
proposal OF marriage ard accepted me.
stupoyer (ditto-Thst's n2thiag wretc poem
$40 for H.-(lankce Blade.
A New-York letter to "Thc Philadelphia Press
describing several metropolitan clercymcn, relates
how on one occasion Or. Ransord logcbly elected Q
muscular, strapping fellow who persisted I'm dis
turbng Of his meetings after being daily cautioned.
few minutes later the bully returned. and following
ford supposed companion. Tho rector said to
himself, Now / shall have a circus; ! shall have
to put them both ont Tie second bully BEGAN 10
make trouble mt once and Mr. Ransford went TO
him and commanded him 10 behave himself or leave.
lie, too insolent and the minister about to
attack him, keeping eye fixed on the other man,
when of a sudden the first rowdy and garins
upon The second said soy. look a. here, me and
Rainsford clean out half dozen toushs like
YOU. and il you don't look out wel FIRE you out head
first. Dye hear me-
Western Girl INST Dac; from New Yor1.-0ne Of nv
most ENJOYABLE amu,ements IN New YORK IS attending
church heard lovely service at Georges Church.
The rector is fine preacher am docs 20 much good
among the poor Of Ncw-lor The church WIS bealIti-
fully decorated and The singing was !oYey; Dr. rams
iord is orc q ne mo.t popF T f IN ih hST
nearly il not quite much as Bernbardt. OF course
Bernhaiit IS Bernhad but her support Is not quite y
good as DR.. Rains!oTi5 saw Ter in Cleopg5In. and
certainly she IS eenids. Tie 1l9y Is splehdldly pu
mere sticks Dr. E3H,f2"l Is just too lovely for
cierg; man-,St Louis Glo5cDcmcc:a:
A Philadelphia paper in describing New-Yorh
preacher said: ale is like an anger; takes hold
right away, cuts all the time and quits when he Is
through" 1t might have added that such preached
never bores his hearers.
"Yes," SAM the man in the cutaway. ayes. 10 was
the same GA story lie was nneGohihg youil3
of honor and entirely without guile and she seemed
Woman "a Rs should be flow ccad bove been other.
wise than that he should be attracted toward her1
He fouSht aSalnSt t!hs passion Out II WV mso4eSSJ
She"
been listening to the speaker with hated breath and
hS c 5sr ravc and IF @ T a2"t %
N6t bit Of il - said cuaway: She accepted
him ard they married two or three months after
ward: and have ever since lived HAPPY, cohteh"%
humdmm Of lfc."-CBoaton Transcript
An amusing story Is told of weknown Russian
woman who went recently TO enjoy the sulphur baths
at Tifs on q particular morning the Countess en-
tered, as usual OF tie bathrooms. The water had
hardly touched her body however when to her horror
she began 10 turn black she was SO frightened az te
transformation that upon seeing her reflection in tina
mirror she tainted Tho attendant WHO was as greatly
startled her mistress cried for help Ihe explana-
ron was simple cnoucb 1t discovered that the
Countess was to paint her face hands, arms
and neck daily with substance containing zinc' ON
that fatal day the poor woman had neglected to remove
the "beautfying7 coat. Tie zinc combined with the
sulphur and natrlum of the water and quickly made an
African belle ont OF tie whte-skmned bather. con-
siderable time passed the unfortunate woman 10
sumed her natural appearance.
THE LAWYERS LULLABY.
Be still. my chih remain in statu qdo.
While pGopcl Thy cradle 10 and fro.
Let no involved res inter alios
Prevail while we're consulting inter nos
Was that little pain in medals res!
TOO bad too bad we'll have more OF these
III send a capas for some wise expert
Who knows how TO eject the pain aud stay the hurt
No trespasscr shall come TO trouble thee;
For thou dost this house in simple fec
And thy administrators. heirs. assigns,
To have. TO hold. convey, at thy designs.
Correct Thy pleadlngs. my own baby boy.
Let there be an abatement Of the JOY,
Quash every tendency 70 keep awd axe,
And verdict, costs and judgment thou shalt taks.
-(BOston Transcript
Filing Carlson. Norwegian, discovered recently the
house occupied three centuries tho north coast
Of Nova Zcmbla BY william Barents the Dutch explorer.
The house was completely covered with snow and ice.
The various relics found in il have been placed In tho
Marine Department in the Hague They include an old
clock quadrant invented by Panclus, TIC founder OK
the theory Of open Polar seas; Goat, History Oh
China and Navigator's Manual
Poet--You didn't say why you returned my iase
poem. The one before you said too long but this
last only four lines
Literary Edor-I have only to repeat what 1 ssa
before. You must make yonr poems ShorVe'' VI W
cannot print them.-(Toston Transcript.