Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-05-23
THE HOTEL WAITER.

THE HOTEL WAITER.
He is . Distinet Species ana TIE Head
Waiter 10 . Marvel.
ssGlT OUT DE WAY, DART DON'T YER
~ sse Dc hdy's vsitin' fer her Ash7'
81 amt in nobody's way. Git out yo'selfr'
yah! WARS de hsad waitsri Hs'n Hx 20.
Move on, dar, I sayr'
The collision had occurred and the gown Of
the poor lady who was waiting for her fish
suffered in consequence, for each one Of the
two quarrelsome walters bore in his hands .
large tray Of little china dishes more or lees
hlled with food
This scene IVES Witnessed few days ago by .
writer for TIE SrAa, who happened to be trav-
cling in the south and was stopping at one Of
the largest southern hotels, where, it ID needless
TO say, all the waters are Of Ethiopian descent
There are . great many funny things to be
seen In these big dining rooms II one keeps his
eyes open, but sometimes there are happening
which approach the terrible. The following 10
an instance in point
TIE LOFTY PERCH or TEE rHAY.
By an unwritten law of the dining room the
large tray upon which guests dinner Is car
ried must be held ss high up in the air a.
possibls and the waiter who bears IL must walk
as rapidly az possible. with quick. short steps.
why this should always be done it 10 hard to say,
put It. must be done all the same. Matters
OF this kind must be accepted without inquiry.
for the reason that inquiry never ELECTS satis-
factory response. In this particular case the
principal actors were two very Realous gentle
men OF color, who pridsd themselvss upon the
picturesque manner in which they held their
trays and upon the rapid little steps they took.
II happened that during the height Of the hotel
dinner, when the large dining room was full
and everybody was wishing 70 be fed at the
same time, these two walters were going In OPP
posite directions. one bearing q tray loaded
with dishes that were full, the other carving .
small mountain Of dishes that were empty.
Down the aisle at full speed the one came and
up the aisle under full steam, with his throttle
valve wide open, as il we're. the other went, and
the trays and the dishes completely hid the
walters from each other.
AcoLLIsIoN AND CRASH.
They met with velocity almost squai 70
that Of two express trains in collision. and with
fully a much noise, and they and their trays
and the hundred little dishes were telescoped.
Jupiter, what chatter there was Dishes,
meats. vegetables, fruits, all went 10 grass in
terrible confusion, and high above the din
rose the shouts Of laughter Of the guests and
the angry voices Of the two unfortunate waiters
.'You done it, sab! Youse lazy, inattentive,
fob it. Use wilin TO 6ght 10. Go long
darr'
They spoke almost simultaneously and struck
at one another across the wreck, and ii is highly
probable that . most interesting prise fight
would have resulted, with the guests Of the
hotel forming ring, il the head waiter had not
interfered and sent the unfortunate men ont OF
the room.
And what . magnificent fellow this head
waiter OF big hotel always IL. He il chosen,
usually, because of his size and pompous ap-
struts among the tables.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING on EARTH.
What is the most important individual on
earth2 The big New York policeman 10 the
size OF An elephant in his own eyes. ring
pomposity always. The new member Of the
lower branch Of the legislature in small state
thinks he is about AZ important to the welfare
OF the world as any one else. But all Of these
sink into tnsignihcance beside the importance
OF the head waiter Of large hotel. You see,
ne must be vain, because everybody looks at
him during meals. Whenever you raise your
eyes from your plate, there he is standing near
you and you stare at him, and 80 do all the
other guests, and g. q general thing he 10 good
to stare at, for he is finely formed and there il
an air Of patronizing dignity about him that
commands admiration. He must born to COM
mand, too, since he has q small army Of Walters
under him who must do his bidding and for
whose discipline he is responsible.
AN oLD-rrNR DRILL
In former times ct the old New York Hotel
In New York, that famous old place where south
srnefs always used to stop and where many Of
them'Still go, there used to be regular dinner
drill. When the hour for that meal arrived
and when all the guests were seated q bell
would sound and In would march the army Of
walters bearing dishes in their hands When
all had come to halt at their respective sta
tons the dishes would be poised in the air;
then again bell would sound and stimuli
taneously hundred dishes would be placed
upon the tables. The effect was imposing, to
say the least.
But New York walters are usually white,
while the walters in the neighborhood Of WASH
ington and in Warrington itself, for that mat
ter, are nearly always colored men. They are
an interesting lot and are well worth conssder-
alton.