Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-08-12
FUN.

see you in your prime.
Sitting Bear-The small boy after
his swim.-BoTiington Free Press.
The rain which comes in sheets ia
not much of comfort.-IeITe Hdtits
Express.
You advertised for nurse,
madam"
II did. What experience have yoL
had with dogs. Puck.
Auctioneer-How much for this
racket?
Judge Guffy (absent mindedly)-
Ten dollars or ten days.-Puck.
\ widow who owns Il stock range
in Colorado is no longer called "cat-
tie queen She is II ''grass widow"
San Francisco Altd.
1t is industry more than birth that
lifts boy up in the world. A boot
black may shine in society if he will
stoop to conquer.-NetOO Orleans Plea
yuHe.
"Wives should never conceal any,
thing from their husbands" says a
writer. If this advice was carried out
| it would create revolution in femi-
nine pockets.-BurliHgtoR Free Press.
Visitor-I don't see Signor Samson,
the modern Hercules, here to-day.
Attendant-No, he tried to carry up
a scuttle of coal for his wife last night
and overeXerted himself. Doctor says
he'll be out in week, thOugh.-Time.
There was death in the house. A
ncighboring undertaken calling to offer
his services was told that another had
already been engaged. ''Pardons," !"
said the disappointed man, bowling
himself out, Il hope | shall be happier
another time. ."-EreHch Fun.
Prince Charming drove up with his
milk-white steeds the other day, to take
Miss Goldilocks out driving.
Ready" said he.
That's all.
| Prince Charming now says that Miss
Goldilocks has too fiery disposition,
anyhow.-Puck.
Prudent Lover-I have a vital secret
to coniide in you which you must
/ promise to forever hold sacred.
Kind Parent-What is your secret?
Prudent Lover-I want your daugh-
ter's hand in marriage.
Kind Parent shall never give it
| away omaha World.
He Had Not Fixed the Exact Year
Husband of Popular Actress-My
| 80 hn
stage. Friend-Indeed! At once?
| Husband-N-nO, not exactly at once.
We have not yet decided upon the eX-
act year, but she will begin her first
farewell tour next season.-BOStOD
| Courier.
Stranger-YOu are not booming
your state very much at the present
time, are you!
Kansas Citizen-No; we are not a6-
| vertising at all now; but wait till the
| cyclone period arrives and you'll see
the name of our glorious common
wealth III every paper you pick up
Omaha World.
$50 you're interested in bugology,
eh?"
"Yes, l have made it a study foI
years."
"Who has the largest and most varied
assortment of specimens in this coun-
try?"
Il would not like to say. There are
many hotels in the country that l have
never visited. ."-,Judge.
"What's the matter?' asked a trav-
| cling man of the landlord one Sun,
day; ''the saloons are all open"
'.Yes; that's quite usual"
"But | thought there was u law clos
ing them on Sundays"
$50 there was"
| "What's become of it?"
"'Well, it's got broken. n."-Mercha,at
Traveller.
Caller (to friend 1t is such pleas
ure to be out again. L don't know
when | have enjoyed a day more. I've
been so busy this spring.
Friend-You have engaged an extra
girl, then, and are enjoying your leis-
ure?"
Caller-Why, no, not exactly. The
girl we had went home to her mother
today, and | am enjoying her absence
Judge.
George, dear, | am making a bid
for immortality. | have written one
act play for three hours duration"
Excuse me, Virgie, but l fear it
| will never become popular"
'.Oh, yes, ii will, too, for am going
to have "a theatre built to suit it. The
backs of the seats are to be eXcresCent
with refreshment boxes, and you drop
a nickel in the slot and get Glove or
anything else you want"
"'MIamma," said the little boy,
thoughtfully, '.will people eat beans in
heaven"
''it is not likely, Ticklowell," re-
| spOnded the mother, .'that we shall
know less of the laws that govern our
intellectual growth in the great here
after than we know here in Boston.
Leguminous foods will be used to a
large extent undoubtedly, my SON"
Alasl how little we know of the
causes that make or mar the future of
mankind. That boy went forth from
the presence of his mother an avowed
Chicago Tribune.
Too Little Sun.
The shade trees about our dwellings