The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-07-28


such condition. Why don't you take your chips
with you?
Carpenter-who do you take me for the Prince
of Wales?
Use Halls Hair Remover and retain the natural
color and beauty of the hair.
Goals to Newcastle, Water to Wall Street.
First Bystander-T There's fire in Blower &
Kitem's offices. Here comes the enginei
Second Bysfander-Good graciousl Why don't
they put it out by throwing some OF their stocks
on ft?-Munsey's Weekly.
no not suffer from sick headache
moment longer. 1t is not necessary. Carriers
Little Liver Pills will cure you. Dose, one little
pill. Small price. Small DOSE Small pill.
lady. while discussing one day with GENTLE
man noted for his tenacity to his opinion, the
latter, waxing warm, observed: MRS. R, facts
are stubborn things"
The LADY replied: "what great fact you must
then be."-BOston Traveller.
Hol my sister, see the banner
Waving In the sky,
Are you broken-down, discouraged?
Courage help is nigh.
On that banner read this legend:
Suffering women, halt
Pierces Favorite Prescription
Meier was known to fai'
The success of this remedy is wonderful. Its
record is unparalleled. 1t has cured thousands of
cases of female weakness. Irregularities, and all
diseases peculiar TO the sex. 1t can always be
depended on to do exactly what is claimed for 1t.
All the proprietors ask is trial. That will con-
vince the most skeptical Of Its wonderful virtues
Price (slOo) refunded If 1t fails to give satisfac-
ton. Guarantee printed ON every bOttle-wrap-
per.
Woman Indignantly Stop my paperI
Clerk-What is the matter, doesn't the boy
leave 1t properly?
woman-Yes; but my sister from Dracut was
here on Sunday and you never had line about
t-Lowell Citizen.
Allow me to add my tribute to the efficacy of
Ely's Cream Balm. was suffering from a severe
attack OF influenzt and catarrh and was induced
to try your remedy. The result was marvellous
could hardly articuate, and in less than twenty
four hours the catarrhal symptoms and my hoarse-
ness disappeared and was able to sing a heavy
role in Grand Opera with voice unimpaired. /
strongly recommend 1t to all singers.-Wm III.
Hamilton, Leading Basso of the ID. Hess Grand
Opera Co.
SIS there any trouble IbrewiDg in the A. W. &
X. Railroad?"
mot that know Of. Why do you ask?"
81 heard that it was going into LIQUIDATION"
"GoiDg into liquidationl Quite The contrary
Theyye just waleied the stock fifty per cent. and
everything is going on swimmingly."-Bost
Transcript.
Ayers Sarsaparilla cures liver complaint, rheu
matism, and all diseases OF the blood.
Colonel Yerger and several of his friends were
talking about the intoxicating qualities OF the
various liquors.
sin my opinion, genuine champagne is less
intoxicating than any other liquor" remarked
Hostetter MeGnnis.
How do you make that out?"
Because SO few people can afford to drink It,"
Texas Siftings.
Always avoid harsh purgtive pills.
Ihey first make you sick and then leave you con-
stipated Carter's Little Liver Pills regulate the
bowels and make you well. Dose, one pill.
His Opinion Of It,
The fye-year-od boy had seen his first wedding
and naturally the family asked him what he
thought of It,
'Pooh!'' he said, disdainfully, "ips nothiug
put prayer meeting with sOciable after It,"
Boston Times.
ayers Ague Cure is vegetable preparation
anu warranted to cure all malaria disorders.
Very Generous.
rateriamlllas-My daughter is one of my treas
ures' young man. You ask great deal: and
what will you give me in return chou
Sultor (from the West)-Ob. iii piva vo, ,,,,o
on her dowry.-Life. -" 'i0