The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1891-01-14

= w nav 40 you "dHt1 dohSu AhA' -uAoA
dox fiercely. Don't you see l am en-
gaged?'
ooh, know" said Guy, "what you
are about to 60! Don't think that am
going to interfere-not at all. But be-
fore you make your quietus | wish to
ask you few questions. Have you pro-
vided for your niece's future welfareP
whats that to your"
considerable. | am about to marry
Miss Silver; SO her interests are natural
ly mine"
"Then she is provided for-amply."
"Thank you for your information.
Very glad to hear it. And now excuse
the apparent impertinence of the ques-
ton, but where is your will?'
Here" said Mr.. Maddox, laying his
hand on it.
Suppose you give it to me to take
care of"
"Give it you! Why, pray?'
SIT might become misplaced" ex-
planned Guy.
"rll keep it myself" said Mr.. Mad
dox roughly.
"Then just leave a memorandum on
the table, said Guy earnestly, "to
tell where it is. 1t will save trouble,
perhaps"
Get outr' cried Mr.. Maddox angrily.
"Ah, see" said Mr.. Cheevers coolly;
Sin hurry to begin. Well, l won't de-
tain you; but have little suggestion
to offer.
"Well?" said Mr.. Maddox impatiently.
SIT is this" said Guy. miss Silver
informs me that you have made several
previous efforts to cut short your trouble
and your breath, and always unsuccess-
fully. Now it seems to me you don't go
the right way about it. This box" and
here he opened the box before alluded
to, contains several little plans that |
think might please you. Here's one,"
and he showed little steel instrument.
"What's that?" asked Mr.. Maddox Gu
riously.
"This," said Guy, 'is an article that
you can place round your neck like
collar, then, by striking your hand on
the left side of your neck, sharp spike
is driven right into your jugular
vein"--
but that would kill me" said Mr..
Maddox, staring.
"Well, amt that what you want?'
demanded Guy sternly. "Now, here's
another" he went on. Here's wheel,
you observe; you place this band round
n WI
give it two or three turns-then let go.
The recoil will twist your head almost
off your shoulders-kil you to GER
tainty.'
Mr.. Maddox stared at him with un-
feigned horror.
"Then," went on Guy coolly, "here's
q little package, torpedo. 1t contains
nitro-glycerine. You place it in your
mouth, snap your teeth on it, and off
goes your head, smashed into millions
of atoms"
Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr.. Mad
dox fearfully. ''What terrible ideal"
mot at ALL" said Guy soothingly.
Beautiful invention-I quite pride my
self on it--scientifc suicide, you see!
Anybody can take poison or blow their
brains out, but to do it scientifically re-
ouires real talent. You have it, and I
am confident that you will reflect credit
on my inventive skill. Now" he con-
tinued confidently, ''if you could use all
three of these inventions at once-cut
your iugular, garrote yourself and blow
your head off, all at once-why, I'd thank
you"
"Whatr cried Mr.. Maddox fercely,
"do you think Tn crazy? Do you think
I'm going to use any of your Internal
inventions? Get out Of this room, you
cold blooded villain, before I throw you
out of the Window"
"But have great many more to
show you," demonstrated Guy, ''and you
see | want you to try as many as posi-
BILE. Well, well!' he added, as Mr.. Mad.
dox graspel the poker threateningly,
"rm going. But I'll leave this box here,
and before you get rid of yourself just
make memorandum of what you will
use and leave it on the table, because
you know there will probably be moth
ing left of you to draw conclusions from
and Sol
Here any further speech was cut short
by Mr.. Maddox Selling his visitor and
hustling him out into the passage.
"Well?' said Lizzie, anxiously, tx
Guy.
Il think it's all right" said Guy, grin
ming. Get the lunch ready. You
uncle is all right. He'll be down."
And sure enough, SO he was, an(
though he spoke not he ate most vora
ciously of everything.
Lizzie" said he suddenly, after al
hours pause, ''did you ever see an infer
nal old fool and an IDIOT"
''Never that l know Of" said Lizzie
"Why?"
because just look at me and you'll se
one," said Mr.. Maddox grimly. and b
stalked upstairs.
Up to the present time of writing Mr.
Cyrus Maddox is still alive, enjoying re
markably good health, and he seems t
be on friendly terms with Mr.. Cheever
and his wife Lizzie. He probably fol
gave that gentleman on account of a dis
covery that he made that the nitro-gly
cerine torpedo contained nothing NOR
dangerous than salt, and the other sin
fernal inventions were internal in abou
the same ratio, but Guy still maintain
= that when persons are weary of life the
should end their troubles by scientiti
suicide. Globe.
Beware of Them.
There are no less than 5000 ''httle IL