The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1891-07-26
FEENEY TO THE RESCUE
lie Raflies His Old Pocket Pistol TO
Buy Postage Stamps for Frank
Woodcock.

Mr.. Frank p. Woodcock. as every one
knows, is the Permit Clerk OF the Street
and Water Board. His duties, as per-
haps everybody doesn't know, consists In
issuing permits to persons to use
garden hose and the like and to inform
them when those permits expire. In
discharging these latter duties Mr.. Wood
cock has been obliged to expend divers
sums of his hard earned shekels, to wit
the sum of $685. This, Mr.. Woodcock
thinks. should be returned to him by the
Board of Finance, but the Board does
not coincide In that opis iop ] caised
upon Mr.. Woodcock yesterday to obtain
his side Of the controversy
Good mornings Mr.. Woodcock. quoth
Good morning. young man. qnoth
MFR. Woodcock, with the usual Trim
mings.
I.
At these words change came over Mr..
Woodeock. His face turned deadly,
region where his heart ought to be. with
a conyuIsive grasp. For a moment |
thought Mr.. Woodcock had issued his
last permit, but Michael Whiskers Oh Mara
whose desk is directly opposite that of
Mr.. Woodcock, made sound SO near that
made by drawing cork that | was de-
ceived completely. Immediately the color
came into the old mans face, and he
jumped up and ran over to Mixes desk.
He came back sadder and thirstier man.
MR.. wooDcocK EXPLAINS.
See here, young man. I have no post
ege stamps" began the old man, pug
naciously. after he had thoroughly re-
Covered, because those demagoguic
financiers refused to reimburse me for
moneys l have expended from my own
pockets for the legitimate expenses of
my Office Here is the list of bills pre-
sented since April Bear in mind there
is no appropriation for such expenses
Demurrage paid on water pipe --......-. s 90
Postage stamps OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 10 90
Cash paid for freight .----- ...-......- 27 s.
Cash, Loco postage stamp 20 90
sss S.
ssThese moneys have been fairly ex
pended from the sum | had boarded for
my vacations said the Permit Clerk.
while others taste the salt OF the sea
beach breakers I must sit here at my
desk and roast while bemoan the mean
ness of the demagoguic ananciers. These
moneys ! have expended from hard
earned salary I have always done SO.
and up TO April my bills have never been
questioned.
las to Mr.. Peterson have never seen
the Reutlemau. But lock at that item
for freight, S27.e5. Would Mr. Peterson,
a experimentation Of the United States
Express Company, trust this Board for
express freight Well, have had to pay
that amount our Of my own pocket" BY
this time the kind hearted old Permit
Clerk was recovering himself
"But, - asked the scribe, what about
that colossal pile Of letters that should
have been sent out TO taxpayers from
your of1iceY'
They've been sent. quietly replied the
Permit Clerk.
And by wnst processf"
Great Heavens, man. do you consider
yourself newspaper man, and yet tell
me you do not know how that pile Of let
tiers to the taxpayers OF Hudson county
was disposed of Read this. 1t Is but a
sample letter. But 1t illustrates
JOHN p FEENEY TO THE RESCUE.
"Mr. Frank p Woodcock, Permit Clerk
of Street aud Water Department.
DEAR SIR-You have my utmost and
sincere sym. This little pepper which, in
M hands. murdered splendid crocodi-
lie specimen of the ages in which reptiles
crawled ages ago on the banks of the
Google Goochie, a stuffed specimen OF
which now holds up the bulletin boards
of the Mclaughlin Association, is hereby
rendered for rattle, the proceeds of which
are to be devoted to liquidating the debt
which you have voluntarily assumed.
John P. FEENEY."
ut is needless to say" said Mr.. Wood
cock. that the chances were all taken.
Every letter that should have gone ont
this morning was sent, and they would
not have been sent out had not the
thoughtful Feeney in this way came to
the rescue. Everybody in the city mailed
that "popper," and everybody took a
chance There were simply 1000 chances.
The chances were all taken at fifty cents
chance.
Gas to the fneidentaIs,' which. by the
way, include freight, why, just suppose
Mr.. Peterson is at the head OF an express
company. Would he trust his Board?
Why, If an express package comes TO his
office, what ain | to dot Send it bacgs
No; run my hand down in my pocket
and pay the freight myself. Then Mr..
Peterson refuses to endorse my bills in
his capacity as City Finaneier."
At this point a Chinaman came in for
permit to sprinkle clothes through his