The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1891-08-31
m an or woman, Ghost or human,
FROM THE HEART.
ILiie.1


Man or Woman, Ghost or human.
We cannot say what win cure ghosts, but many
men and many women who look like ghosts rath-
er than human beings. through sickness. would
regain health and happiness IL they would try the
virtue of the worldrenow7ed remedy, DIR. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. Torpid liver, or
"biliousness," impure blood, skin eruptions,
scrofulous sores ana swellings, Consumption
(Which IS Lung-scrofula) all yield to this wonder
full medicine. 1t Is both tonic and strength res
toring and Alternative or blood-cleansing
McBride-I can't say that like Jawsmith. In
fact he makes me tired.
Keedick (non committal)
McBride-Yes, he's forever talking about him.
self.
Keedick-I can readily understand how that
McBrice-of course you can.
). keedick-Yes, sr; Il gives you no chance 70
Chicago lnter-Ocean.
"Whewi how my stomach aches" Take
Johnson's Anodyne Liniment in sweetened water.
Very Extravagant.
Printer-There was bill collector up here to
see you.
Editor-And what did you do with him9
Printer-I shot hml
Editor Good .gTaciousi And powder is forty
the TindOws"Atiania Ea R.'n MN out OF
Baby cried.
Mother sighed.
Doctor prescribed: Castorrss
Helen exhibiting photography do you
think Of 1t, Sue?''
Ruean-It3e epIandid. MT ta hiatt
Helen-But does it look like me?
Susan-Not a particle. That's the beauty Of it,
you know.-Boston Transcript.
P5Ipitation OF the heart, nervous
ness, trembling, nervous headache, cold hands
and feet, pain in the back, and other forms of
weakness are relieved by Carters Iron Pills,
made specially for the blood, nerves and com
plexion.
Mrs. Heyday Ito orchestra leader at summer
hotel)-what was that long. dreary thing you
just played?
Leader-Dot vas vrom Vogner.
Mrs. Heyday-lt was not beautiful at all.
eader-ld vas nod indended to be.-Life.
All cases OF weak or lame b ack, back
ache, rheumatism, will find relief by wearing one
Of Carters Smart Weed and Belladonna Back
ache Plasters. Price rs cents. Try them.
No Brains There.
Anxious Parent-Doctor, he doesn't do thing
except nope around, smoke cigarettes and chew
gum. Is it his brain that's affected?:
Doctor-No. madam. The trouble Is Ia his
head.-Chicago Tribune.
To act on the liver, and cleanse the bowels, no
other medicine equals Ayers Cathartic Pills.
Featherstone-I am utterly worn out. Have
inst ridden four miles In horse car with sleep
ing baby,
Rlngway-How could a sleeping baby wear you
out?
Featherstone-I knew its mother.-Brooklyn
Life.
Ayers Sarsaparilla will cure your catarrh and
remove that sickening odor Of the breath.
A Bad Break.
"They say Professor BarkiDs' address before
the Dorcas society was not well received"
wen, why should it have been? The idea OF
his addressing a lot of old maids as my yenera-
Bile friendsP Bazaar.
That gray beard of yours can be colored brown
or black by Buckingham's Dye.
He Found Him Out.
Bridegroom Ito bride on arriving at hoteI-
Now, Laura, darling, don't let these people know
we have just been married.
Manager las bridegroom enters, to porterl-
Tom, take the gentlemans hat, and brush the
rice from the brim.-Yankee Blade.
Ais he really your rival9
B.-Yes.
A-Y0u astound mel II had rival that
looked like that, do you know what would do?
B-No.
Active up the girl.-Casselps Saturday Jour-
nal.