Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1891-06-20
THREE OLD BOYS YARNS,

ssRoYs ARE ONLY SLIGHTLY MODIFIED
~ savages," said that amiable old fellow
Puggsby at the Platypus Club yesterday after
noon. "All healthy ones are, anyway, and 30 I
don't mind confessing that was pretty nearly
the worst specimen ever knew. Ny particular
fad was smashing windows. There was big
green house in the same block where lived but
a little distance away, SO that WAS just able to
reach it by stone thrown from my yard. The
luxury of it was that it was impossible
and every shot was followed by a
'clink' of fracture that was music to my
ears Besides, no one could very we'll find out
who did the mischief Igot into trouble within
TWO days after was sent to the public school.
Being employed by the teacher to fill all the
ink wells, thought it would be an engaging
lark to improve the fluid by adding to the con-
tents OF the jug about onefourth part of oil from
| Kerosene can that was handy. So it happened
that when all the scholars began to WRITE the
first letter. which remember was an elaborate
with whiskers on it. spread all over the page
of the copy book. Of course, evidence was
against me and l was punished. Somehow in my
youthful wrong doings the consideration of
escapefrom penalty was never properly provided
Tor. One Fourth of July an entire bulk window at
my fathers store was filled with stock of fire
works and crackers. They looked SO inviting that
l could not dismiss from my mind the notion of
the gorgeous effect they would make all going
on together. j restrained my impulse man
fully until the night Of the 3d. when the
temptation oyercame me and touched off the
collection with fuse. The result eaualed nv
warmest anticipations; in fact. they were sur
passed, lnasmuch as the entire window was
blown out and other damage done to the ex-
tent OF about $50. 1t il not too much to say
that suffered for the exploit $500 worth addi-
tional."
PRETTY BAD HIMSELF.
81 was pretty bad myself" said Puggsby's
| friend Mopps, wiping the dew of julep from
his gray mustsche. "We boys on my block
had gang, as we called it. When any one OF
| us got half a dollar we would have what we
! termed a peanut and lemonade bum That
amount Of money would supply all the peanuts
| we could eat and enough lemonade to make us
uncomfortable. But the climax of the fun
came at the end, when We 'socked' the lemon
peeIs at the passers-by. l always looked upon
this as most agreeable sport until CHANGED
| to view it from a differen. standpoint Ii
| happened that was walking along the street
about a year ago, when, CHANGING to look up
was struck at the same moment full in the eye
with what subsequently ascertained to be an
| entire orange, which had been previously
sucked and turned inside our. My glasses were
Knocked OF and for about the space of q min
ute was practically blinded. Having removed
| what could of the pulp from my countenance
| l asked colored man near by who had thrown
the missile. He said that he had Just seen a
| boy scamper around the next corner. and so
started of in lrate pursuit. / caught nobody
however, and when i subsequently learned thai
there was school in the third story OF
the building in front OF which had re.
| ceived my injury, l had had time
| to cool down and to sympathize with what
| must have been the delighted feelings of the
youngster who made shot SO fatally accurate
But my favorite weapon in my youthful days
| was enormous squirt. which would hold
| about pint. With this used to exercise my
| craftsmanship with some recklessness until one
| day l delivered the entire contents down the
| back of an old gentleman's neck, who had
| stopped to pick something up on our front side
| walk. He was SO ill-natured as to complain
and experienced unpleasant results.
The WORST OF THE LOT
cha, ha !'' laughed old Boobies as he took 6
light from Puggsby's cigar. I'm bet was
worse boy than either Of you fellows For ex
ample, just permit me to mention a single lit
| tie exploit Of mine. The close of nv first yea,
at school was marked by grand festivity in
honor of the graduating class. was employed
| to assist in waxing the floor of the big hall fol-
| dancing, and in this connection it occurred t.
| me that great deal Of comparative amuse
ment might be obtained. So spent whole
| afternoon in cutting OFF the heads of matches
L
| pockets. These it was my intention to scatter
about the floor Of the hall, so that the terpsi
| chorean entertainment might be accompanied
by fireworks: but, in order to make sure tina
something satisfactory would happen, spread
the waxed surface carefully with busting o.
| red pepper. When the musicians had begun Il
toot up and the guests were getting ready t.
| sling the light fantastic toe, 30 to speak.
| paraded about the room in nonchalant man
ner, sprinkling the match heads as I went from
the corners OF my pockets, in which my hand
| were carelessly thrust. The first guadrille wa,
q source OF intense amusement to me on &C
| count Of the cracking and banging that wen
on upon every side, while the waltz which fol
lowed multiplied the small detonations and in
creased my ecstasy proportionately; but this
| was nothing compared to the fun when the pep
per had had time to rise and set people sneez
ing. / never heard such 'kerchoo-kerchoo
in my life as went on for the next few minutes
In fact it broke up the party altogether. which
was rather good thing, on the whole. because
in order to make perfectly certain that some
sport for myself should arise. / had had IN,
jacket pockets filed with ipecac, with which
meant to dose the ice cream pretty heavily
Inasmuch as had no notion that ipecac wa
dangerous serious il not fatal results nigh
have arrived, for 1 certainly would not have rur
any risk of failure by giving too small a dose
On the whole l have always considered that
did very we'll to escape the gallows and get OF
with q Gaming"
Ramble Among the jewelers..