The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-11-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Eaten out of house aud home-Picnic
lunches. Boston NeUs.
The swords that burn" go into the
waste-paper basket first.
Experience is the cream of life-but
1t sours with age.-Tsras Siftings.
''Mr. Enpeque has run away with his
wife," "That was shrewed move."--
Puck.
"What an odd paper weight you
havel" "Yes. It's my wife's first bis
cult"
The best way to prevent RAIN is to get
everything ready to plant turnips.-GaI-
Uest0a Nelos.
The stoutest soldier will sometimes
quail before his wife's baking POWDER
Valley Neics. -r
The woman who says she t'has waited
an age" is very carOs@l not to add it to
her own.-Puck. -
"The Chinese are queer race"
"Aren't they. What you might call
scrub race, too. life.
60. never have any luck" groaned
Chipsley. "You are fortunate. have
plsnty, and it's all bad. ."-Pucb. l.
He (proudly)-"My motto is live and
lei live" She (wearily)-'I wish it
was sleep and let sleep. Boston Courier.
Photographer-"Now, look pleasant,
please" Customer-"It is quite impos-
sible, sir. Pm ticket agent in a rail-
road Office"
He-''Are you sure you care for meT
She-'I wish you wouldn't be so sus-
picious. Have l asked yet to see your
bank book3"-Life.
Age before beauty-After time has
turned it into antiquity, people may go
crazy over the ugliest article we can
make o.day.-Judge.
Miss Dorcas-"Have the poor any
pleasure, think youl" Miss Ann Thrupe
-"Oh, yesl They criticise the charac-
ters of the rich. Puck.
"Do as 1 say" thundered an angry
father. ''My will shall be law" swell,
then, I'll bet it wasn't drawn by law
YER" returned his son.--Lye.
"Pa, how do you scalp9" said the In-
dian boy to Oyster -that-Laughs. "First
catch your hair" sententiously replied
the noble red man.-B1stoa Transcript.
He swore long ago TO succeed in life,
And the crown that he wears is not dim;
For a race-horse to-day is namei for his
wife,
And tug-boat is called after him.
Judge.
Architect-"What do you think of
my design for the female collegel"
Friend-"I notice one incongruity-it
has man-sord roof. -Biaghamton Re-
publican.
"Pop, what does commons meant"
"Why, food-rations. "Then," said
the smart youngster, with wink,
''isn't hotel the House of Commonsi"
Baltimore American r.
''Is that the President of the bankl"
(Which onel" "That stylish looking
fellow who says, Il aud the Board of
Directors so much." "No; that's the
janitor. ."-BrookiyR Life.
''No wonder the papers talk about po-
litical extravagances," said Mrs. Gill
hooley. Didn't l hear my husband
talking the other day about a convention
that wanted silver platform l'-Balti-
more american.
Visiting Aunt Consulting railroad
guide)-"I never could understand one
OF these things. It's all Greek to me-"
Boston Child (aged three) that's all
it Is, auntie, let me have it. I'll read it
for you. "-OhioaqO Tribune.
Responsibility: $40 look at that
young clerk one would think that he
carries greater weight of responsibility
than the proprietor swell, he does,
for that matter The proprietor can
make mistakes without losing his job"
Indianapolis Journal,
"Now, gentlemen" said the eloquent
advocate, 81 leave the case In your
hands. In closing have Just one re-
mark TO make" Aud the experienced
juror in the dark corner OF the box set
tied himself for another comfortable
half-hour nap.-B4Balo Express.
She assisted the fire with the kerosene can;
She always persisted in following that plan
In spite of her missus's rage.
And now she has flown from this dull vale
of tears,
At the soft, tender age of ninety-hve years
She had 70 succumb 10 old age.
Indianapolis Journal
According TO the Burlington Hapkeye
an old stage driver remarks that life may
he compared to set of harness. 1T
has rIaces Of care, bits OF good
fortune, breaches OF good manners,
bridled tongue, and every one has a tug
10 pull through" 1t may be added
that it Is saddled with great responsibili.
ties.--LoloeH Courier,