davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

more Importance than his love and
when she appeared with the smaller
pie he was ready for the sacrifice. He
ate 1t all and asked II he couldn't keep
fight on and eat the big one; but she
Imiled, as q woman always does when
= man has complimented her cooking
1t the expense Of his digestive machin-
Sry, and told him that his health was
the subject Of her eternal solicitude,
and she couldn't on any consideration
allow him 70 eat more tn n one mince
pie after o'clock in the evening.
They occupied the remainder OF the
time In wrapping up the large pie so
that IL would not give itself away and
make foolish people laugh. Neither
Of them were very expert at doing up
bundles, and their earlier efforts were
opt productive Of good results either
TO their tempers or TO the pie, but at
last Billy hit upon a great idea. He
put an enormous piece of paper right
over the top OF the pie, and rolled up
The ends underneath so that the whole
had the desired effect of a gigantic
bouquet, and in that form he bore it
away.
When he got on board the L train
there were few people in the car. and
be congratulated himself accordingly.
He secured one of the cross seats, and
all TO himself, and as the weight OF
the pie was formidable he ventured to
put it down on the vacant seat beside
him, steadying it against the back.
Then ne leaned his head against the
Iide of the car and heaved a sigh of
relief as he settled into comfortable
position.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
COrpulent Moorish Beauty.

The Moors have extraordinary ideas
concerning female beauty. They fancy
an oily skin, teeth projecting beyond
the lips, pointed nails an inch long
and figure so corpulent that two per-
sons putting their arms around the
waist could scarcely make their fingers
touch. woman OF modern preten-
sions to beauty needs slave under
each arm to support her as she walks,
and a perfect belle carries weight
enough to load a camel. Mothers are
so anxious to have their daughters at
tain this unweildy size Shat they make
them eat great quantity of millet
pudding and drink several bowls of
camefs milk day. Mungo Park said
he has seen poor girl sit crying for
more than an hour with the bowl at
her lips, while her mother stood over
her with stick and beat her whenever
she perceived that she was not swal-
owing.
The Moors marry at very early
age, and wives are always purchased.
The father of the girl cannot refuse an
offer unless there is some stain on the
young mans character. II a wife
does not become the mother of a son
she may be divorced by the husband
Ihe mother of many sons is held in
the highest respect and is never suffer.
ed TO perform any mepisl Office.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

,f the car wheels came to HE sleepy
ears like slumber song. Ac4 before
he knew it he was DOING He came
10 himself with start az the train
slowed at station. and vas just in
lime to catch his bouquet sliding to-
ward the floor. He replaced it more
ir1nly and again lay back in his place.
Then it seemed to Billy that an
ltcgether unnecessary number Of
seople were boarding the train. And
very ybody who came in eyed the mince
lie. Several young men were par
tcularly sTepsive.
"Ha, har' said one OF them, 'h
thinks he's fixed that pie to look like
bouquet, but can smell the hard cider
Then he poked his cane at the pie,
and his companion barked. This in.
suit to his best girls mincemeat made
Billy's blood boil. but somehow he
couldn't do anything TO resent it
While he was resolving 20 get ven.
geance a big man came along and sat
down on the pie. Then he arose and
began to abuse Billy for leaving 1t in
the way. This was adding insult to
injury. but Billy's bashfulness about
the pie had sapped his courage and hs
could find no words TO reply. Instead,
he grabbed the unfortunate pie and
hurried into another car. This appear
ed to be full of pretty girls, and they
all giggled in unison when Billy came
In with his load. Every seat was oc-
cupied, and Billy had to stand up and
be stared at The pie was so big that
Billy had to hold it in both hands, so
he couldn't hold on to the strap. Con-
sequentiy, when the train went round
sudden curve Billy sat down In a
girls lap. She stuck a shawl-pin into
his back, and he arose almost as alb.
ruptly as he had sat down.
He was about to ask her ironi
cally II she warted him TO take that as
a proposal when the train reached the
bridge, and everybody hurried out In
the confusion umbrellas, canes and
elbows innumerable were pun ched
the pie. and it was badly
wrecked when Billy reached the bridge
car. The crowd which had filed out of
the train crowded the bridge car. and
everybody appeared to have heard OF
Billy and his pie. Girls Uttered and
criticisms about the pieman
as he walked aboard. 1t seemed an
endless journey across, aud in the l..
train on the other side things were no
better. A series OF grotesque and
adventures attended his
progress up town, and when he alight-
I'D in Harlem he was in a condition
half way between profanity and
lysteria.
The street through which he had to
BASS had always been dark. but he
lever had known it SO black as on this
particular occasion. He was glad to
lave the pie shrouded in this welcome
,loom, but the unusual darkness sug-
,ested sandbaggers. The fear of these
Industrious but inconsiderate people
lad no sooner crossed his mind than
Ie heard whispering voices behind
i'm:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
M. de Lesseps,s Interesting Family.

NJ. and Nine. de Lesseps held re-
ception few evenings ago, where the
chief attraction was the presence of all
the old mans children, the wo by his
first marriage and the eleven by his
second. His eldest "boy" is about
fifty-five years of age, and his youngest
child, daughter, Gisele, is four years
old; the age of the eldest child is
sixty-seven. Comte de Lesseps him
self is now in mis- eighty-ffth year; he
is rapidly breaking up-or down, but
still retains a good flow of animation
for gentleman never at any time mer-
curial. They say the failure of the
Panama Canal has never affected him;
he believes that his sci;eme is being
victimized by conspiracy.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
STOLE A GRAVE.
A Comrades Tough Storles - .
Missouri ReRImant.

Missouri Regiment.
Capt. o. d. Evans of Peoria was q
member OF the Grand Army committee
which inspected the soldiers home the
other day. says the Quincy Whig,
and while notwithstanding with party
of friends told a couple Of stories to
explain the manner in which the
Eighth Missouri infantry gained the
reputation OF being the biggest thieves
in the army. On one OF their marches
they passed a plantation and in sort
OF a leau-to against a cabin close to
the road an old negro woman was
cooking corn pone and bacon. Just as
the head of the regiment got abreast
of the shauty auntie went into the
house for something or other and one
of the boys slipped into the lean-to on
foraging expedition. He examined
the stove and then called out disgust
edly:
Boys. here's some mighty good
grub. but it isn't half cooked"
Hold on a minute; we'll help you,'
was the response, and he was Joined
by couple of his comrades. Then
they picked up the stove, bacon, corn
pone, and all. dumped it into a wagon,
piled in some wood, and went on,
bound to have some mighty good
grub" when it was cooked.
They did not confine their thievine
propensities to things to eat On an
other occasion the Eighth Wisconsin
was camped some distance below
Memphis on the bank OF the river,
and, one of their number having died,
they dug grave in which to bury
him. While the Badgers we're attend
Ing to the funeral services the Mis-
sourians came down the river in a
transport and landed to give Christian
burial to comrade who had sue
cumbed to wound received in skirm-
lsh the day before. They found the
new-made grave, buried their dead in
it, and left. In a few minutes the
wisconsin boys came along with re-
versed arms and muffled drums, and.
seeing the little mound Of fresh earth,
one OF them exclaimed: "By-George,
somebody has stole our grave" And
they dug new one.
1t was the Eighth Missouri which
is said to have created the basis for
story credited to half the regiments
in the service:
They had been in camp several days
III some place In Tennessee when an
enraged farmer complained to the
colonel that his men had robbed him
Of half his chickens.
How many chickens did you havePn
asked the officer.
Fifty"
And how many were taken?"
'Twenty-eight
Then my men didn't have anything
20 90 with your chickens, my good sir
iou are on the wrong trail"
but know they did"
"Oh, but l know they didn't. II
.ney mad they would have taken every
blamed chicken on the roost.''
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
'tumbled back and rolled over in the

I tumbled back and rolled over in the
sand. white hat and all.
| Ipaused not in my fight till Preached
the plum orchard, hundred yards
away, and then stopped to listen to
Ponchartrain, who had sneaked along
after me, and after fired on the en-
envy Ponch took after the horse and
ran him out of sight, baying at every
Jump. He then flew back and made
dash at Dick, who was trying to
keep him off with his hat.
AS plunged into the orchard and
stopped to listen 1 heard somebody
laughing fit to kill, and looking around
there lay Cousin Kate on the grass,
convulsed with laughter.
She had come down there to eat
few green plums and salt and had seen
the whole affair.
She didn't see me, and I slipped out
and scooted away toward the branch
head, where stopped and listened to
Grandpa trying to make Ponchartrain
come off.
That settled Dick fuckers courtship.
So soon as the dog was called off Dick
got his breath, and of all the cursing
that l ever heard, he did it right there.
didn't blame him.
was glad of it, for he had always
talked to Grandpa and Cousin Kate
like sugar wouldn't melt in his mouth;
and just wanted Grandpa to know
him in his true character.
1t was late supper time when skunk
into the kitchen, and l felt like going
out and eating some green Chinaber-
ries to kill myself.
/ just knew that Grandpa was going
to make me know that there was
hereafter.
But strange to say, the old man
looked at me right straight, and then
broke out in big laugh.
"Why, Kate, do rally believe the
Boys agwine 20 git hearty. Iknowed
that Jerusalem oak would do him good.
Go and take your cinders, my son, for
you're gittin' some blood in your face
ct last"
Cousin Kate gave me curious look,
and then | saw the blood rush to hes
face, and she seemed to be choking te
laugh. L felt like crying until she
came and whispered:
"Don't feel bad about it. He's so
proud and frisky that 1 wanted to see
him took down just a little bit, any
how"
All, winsome Kate long are the DAYS
since last we met. But when your
prototype reads this story she will for
give me for mixing mp your sweet fac.
with this ridiculous story.
Fitted to be the heroine of sweeteI
story than 1 can pen, your spirituelle
face shines out like a star among the
broken clouds of these ragged remi-
niscences.-Montgomery Folsom.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
How Does She Manage it,

Just how the fashionable woman
who appears night after night clad in
a tulle dress, kid gloves and slippers,
and a pearl necklace, manages to es-
cape pneumonia must ever remain a
problem to vex and bother the doctor
and philosopher. These lovely Great
ures are certainly endowed with great
endurance. Whatever may be said of
their sense. Perhaps, as Carlyle said,
"Vanity is warmer than down, and
pride rivals the robe of ermine." But
to get at facts, the question was put to
a pretty little creature, who never read
a line Of the sage. 81 don't feel cold
at ALL" she said, "in evening dress.
Just before dressing l bathe my neck,
arms and shoulders in glycerine and
rose water, and after drying with a
coarse towel, have my maid rub me
down with alcohol. don't need this
at all, but 1 do it to please papa. l
think, however, it is good idea. for
my flesh never gets goosey, and this
is my second season, and L haven't
had cold yet. Then | always wear
warm wrap in the carriage, and
when l get home l take warm bath
and go to bed."-N ew York Star.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
The Point of View

lSonnet to an American Girl by Member
Of the Chinese Legation.l
Why does my heart permit thy gentle SWAY,
No tige, lily hues are in thy face;
kose tint thou hast, alas. like al thy race.
Aud vet love thee; struggle though NAV.
1hine eyes are lars, aud round, a blush
gray
CBut still they seem to bid No urge nv
suit)-
They are not shaped like lovely almond
fruit,
Set in thy face aslant, the only way
Inat can be right. Thy free and mannish
walk
Tells OF no dwarfing, waddie causing shoe;
my feet are long and slender, sad to view
More like mans than wcman's-yet talk
OI thy dear self from morn till dewy eve
MY vows OF love, sweet heathen, pray re-
Done into English by Charles Batteu
Ioomis.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
Deafness Can't BE Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way TO cure deafness, and that is by constitu-
tlonal remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
haned condition OF the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tuDe gets in
ilamed you have rumblng sound or imperfect
hearing. and when IL is entiIely closed, Deaf
ness is the result, and unless the Inflammation
can be taken out and this tube restored to lis
normal condit on, hearing will be destroyed
forever nine cases out Of teu are caused by
which is nothing but an inflamed con
diton of the mucous surfaces.
We Will give One Hundred Dollars for any
ease OF Deafness (cauSed by catarrh) that we
cannot cure by taking Halls Catarrh Cure
send for circulars, free.
F.J. CHENEY s. CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists ~ cents.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

Get onto de cove" said one.
"Pipe de blooming bundle dat he's
a-carryin' so careful. Must be full o.
swag."
Lies do him up" said another
'Tll club de life out Of him while you
collar de Doodle. See?"
Billy tried to run and struggled to
get voice enough to howl police, but
before he could do either he felt the
deadly sandbag knock his hat to ever
lasting ruin and then he sank upon the
pavement while the pie was wrenched
from his hand.
A dizziness came over him. He
closed his eyes. There was murmur
of voices in his ears. Suddenly his
eyes flew open again and he saw, not
the courtroom, but the interior of
the car on the Brooklyn line. A
crowd of people were staring at him.
and one of them supported the con-
ductor, who stood there with his face
covered with mincemeat and the under
crust OF the enormous pie around his
neck.
Young feller," said the conductor,
as he wiped the mincemeat out of his
eye, you'll pay for this. Here l was
VI , AhS W w yOu IL IdNOT Uy waxing
you up at the bridge and you slammed
a thousand pounds of chopped dog
down on top OF my head"
Il tried to explain that / had been
dreaming on that confounded piece of
pie which l had eaten" said Billy
when he related this story to me, but
the conductor wouldn't have it. L
spent the night in a cell and paid SO
and costs the next day. / wouldn't
mind the fine if l hadn't broken that
plate. The little girl will surely find
out about it when / have to tell her
can't return the plate. She wouldn't
have known any other way, for Of
course l gave an assumed name at the
where | was charged with
drunkenness. .disorderly conduct and as.
sault and battery, but
Whose name did you giveP"
why, the first one l thought Of"
Billy replied; yours, you know
Howard Fielding, in Dallas News.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
One Thousand Dollars

will forfeit the above amount, IL fail Il
prove that FloraplexiOn is the best medicine IL
existence for Dyspepsia. Indigestion or Bilious
ness. 1t is a certain cure, and affords immedi
ate relief, in cases OF Kidney and Liver Com
plant, Nervous Debility and Consumption
ElOrapleNion builds up the weak system an,
Things Worth knowing" also, sample .boitI,
sent free: all charges prepaid. Airrs
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

FLooRED.-The Duchess of Sham
coddy-"Our English girls are more at.
girls.n
Miss Manhatfan-''How is 1t then
that your men em to prefer American
wives?'
TIE Duchess expansion in
those exceptional cases is simply that
the Eomeo needs money"
Miss Mauhattan-'Then how is 1t
that American millionaire don't marry
some of your English Julietsp"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

ANEw YORK CLARA WERE DE WERE.
Miss. Van Wirt-'No, Lord North
bury, l could mover marry you. Your
are not my equal"
Lord Northbury-"Not your equal
Why. the blood Of the Flantagenets
courses in ny veins. When your great
grandfather was pretty Du ch trader,
mine was sitting In the House of Lords. I"
Miss Van Wirt-"Yes, but when
your great-grandfather was sitting in
the House of Lords. mine was Duying
up town lots on Broad way"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
Natures Blessed Assistant.

Nothing has ever yet equalled st. Bernard
Vegetable Pills, to cure disease by stimulating
torpid livers, kidneys, skin bowels. promoting
healthy digestion, nutrition. secretion and eX.
creton, purifying the blood, building up de
COunteracting the causes of disease. They
literally stand alone. sample Of the ST.
Bernard Vegetable Pills will be sent free to
al applicants. Address, st. Bernard, Box 24l6,
New York
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

TAKING HIS TEMPERATURE.-T
orator had talked for half an hour.
"Oh, come on; let's CO." said Bag
Icy.
"Wait until he gets warmed up to his
subject :" whispered Bailey.
An hour later B. gley sail: "Well
he's warmed up now; let's CO."
Cant you wait until the man cools
down somep"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

ANUNFEELTNG GBRUTR-Mrs. Young
husband-''Even though you sneer at
at my tea biscuits you have managed to
eat your share of them."
Younghusband Had 10, my
dear. If there were any left the baby
might get hold of them. They'd kill
him.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

SHE GOT A SERVANT. - Husband
(married one year)-"Why, Eta, what
has become Of your wedding ringP"
WIte-''I wore it out"
Husband-"How could YOU wear it
out?"
Wife-"Doing the housework.n
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

A new toy for children is plain sheet
OF paper on which the figure of some
nimal has been traced vii II an invisible
and fre-proof solution. The paper is
set on fire on the edge, and 1T burns away.
leaving the figure intact.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

Alter forty years of immersion in
the waters of the pool OF Echoschacht
not far from Hermannstadt, several
human bodies have been brought to
surface in a state of perfect pres r
vatlnn.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

ATE UNDER PROTEST. well, - said
Brown to his neWly-married friend
$50 your wife does the cooking. Iwon-
der you are alive to tell the talel''
YES" replied the other, ''but / am
alive-alive and kicking. ~
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

Warm weather often causes extreme tired
feeling and debility, and in the weakened con
dition of the system, diseases arising from i'm
pure bood are liable to appear. To gain strength,
to overcome disease, and TO purify, vitalize.
md enrich the blood, take Hoods SarsaparIlla
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

Two PECULIAR FACEs.-Mrs. Bills
doo-"What peculiar faces, Mrs. Bullion
the Japanese give the figures they put
upon their wares"
Johnny Bullion (unsolicIted) '"They
can't hold candle to the faces my pop
per puts on when mommer gives him the
bills for themD -
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

ARTFUL JACK.-''Why didn't you
write oftener in answere TO my letters,
Jack?" she asked, tearfully.
Because, dearest" he remarked,
''yours were SO long and interesting
that spent all the time reading them.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

1t has been suggested that good way
to rid town Of moths would be to set
up pow erful electric light on the out
skirts. The moth has il instructive
fondness for light, and especially the
electric light.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07
The people at the Worlds

The people at the Worlds
Dispensary of Buffalo, N. Y,
have a stock-taking time once
a year and what do you think
they do? Count the number
of bottles that've been re-
turned by the men and women
who say that DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery or
IlDr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
!tion didn't do what they said
it would do.
And how many do you
think they have to count.
One in ten? Not oue M /zas
hundred!
Here are two remedies
one the Golden Medical Dis
covery, for regulating and in
vigorating the liver and purify
ing the blood; the other, the
hope of weakly womanhood,
and they've been sold for
years, sold by the million bot
ties; sold under a bosztz0e
guarantee, and not one in five
hundred can say:
!" 1t was not the medicine for
me |"
And-is there any reason
why you should be the one ?
And-supposing you are what
do you lose : ABSOLUTELY
nothing !
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

SOMETHING OF A LIE -She-1sn' {
Doctor Anderson very absent-minf ed p"
He-"Yes. That's why lie never
married, He went to kiss his sweet
hearts hand once and yaccinated her
Instead."
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

AT Sitka, Alaska, the shortest ~ in
the year, d cember 81, is only six hours
long, tie sun risirg at Zine and setting
at three. The longest day. ,'une 81, S
ei shteen hours, the sun rising at three
and setting at nine.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

T.. famous Adel,berg grotto on the
road to Trieste, Italy, was Gently ex-
pl red, wnen discovery was ma e of two
ther grottos a d a number of corridors
communicating with the principle grat-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

A writer N the London spectator
thinks that if parrots could be made TO
breed in captivity, the parent birds
might teach their young to talk, just as
The canaries teach their accomplishment
10 their little ones.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

Money invested in choice one hundred dol
lar building lots in suburbs of Kansas City Will
pay from ive hundred to one thousand per
cent. the next few years under our plan. SIS
cash and s. per month without interest con-
trols desirable lot. Particulars on applica-
uon. j. ii. Bauerlen & Co.. Kansas City, Mo.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1891-01-07

PARoDoXICAL.. - Stern Parent-''l
say, Mr.. Softleighp'
Softleigh-"Yes,s sir."
S.ern Parent-"You seem to stay
around great deal for a man who is so
badly gone as you are.''