The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-17
BRIGHT BITS.

"MEDIcINE," said little girl to her playmate,
lis something that makes you be careful not
to catch cold again. Washington Post.
WHAT part of tho service did you like best?'
quired Mrs. Reredos after church.
THE occasional" returned Mr.. r. Puck.
WHAT is the difference between the first ser
Reant aud the tenor drummer2 One calls the
roll and the other rolls the call.-PittSburg
Dispatch.
becoming!
Clara BeIlows-Butsit would be much more
interesting should 1t be going.-NelO York
Herald
SuNDAY-soHooL TEACHER latter a lesson on
the blessings of giving)-Now, why does it NAL Ike
us so happy to give our friends nice presentsi
Little Boy-'Cause we know they'll try t. give
us nicer ones.-GOod NetcS.
AN EYE TO THE FUTURE don't see how
you can be pleased at the idea of your brother
marrying her. She's so fast and harum- scarutn.
She'll never make good wife"
20, but she'll make such delightful chap
erone !n-PlLck
CITY FATHER CTammany-a little nervous at
his first performance of the marriage eere-
mony)-l pronounce you man and wife-and-
er-treminded by the resolute bearing of the
parties OF an office more familiar to him)-may
the best man win!-Life.
THE MAN who complains about the old min
lister who preached so long that he always
missed his dinner, and of the new one because
the sermon is so short that he cannot get a
nap, would be hard to please in any commu-
nity.-BdLtimore american
'YoUR ExCELLENcY said the Secretary of
State to the President of q Central American
republic, IAN instruction broke out last night
in the eastern part of the country"
Call for 300 volunteers for four days serv-
ice," replied the resident.-PIttsburg TeLe-
graph.
He just introducsd) very homely
man that gentleman near the piano is, Mrs.
Hopson.
He (edual to the occasionally, indeed! How
true IL IS, Mrs. HopSon, that the homely men
always get the prettiest wives!-American
HebreW.
LITTLE TOMMY was making dreadful racket
playing that he was locomotive letting off
steam, ringing bell, etc. Tommy" said his
| aunt, getting in front of him, you must stop
this noise" Tommy stood perfectly quiet for
a minute and then sail:
The engineer is waiting for the old COW to
| get on the track. "-Terds StftinqS
Mrs. WICKwIRE-This is the 275th perform
ance OF this play, the programme says. How
awtully monotonous it must be to the actors by
this time.
Mr. Wickwire-You think so? And It was
only two days ago you were complaining that
did not seem to love you as / did in the days
of our honeymoon.-Minne Journal.
Mrs. GREATHEAD-What kept you so late at
MIR. Greathead-I had to draw up a long set of
resolutions for publication complimenting Mr..
Bullhead's great efficiency as a member of the
board. and expressing our heartfelt regret at
losing his invaluable aid and counsel
''Of all things! Why, you and the rest have
been fighting tor three months to get him out of
the board"
Yes; but tonight he resigned voluntarily"
NeiU York Weekly.
LITTLE NELI-Sister will be down in a mo-
ment, and I'm TO entertain you till she comes,
cause mamma said so. guess I'll go on with
my knitting.
Mr.. Nicefelo-What is it you are making my
little dear?
Its birthday present for sister, and she
mustn't know anything about it till her birth
day comes you know You won't tell her, will
you?
mo, indeed. What is it for?"
"Oh, it's just a little bag like mamma has to
put her watch in at night. Sister hasn't any
watch, but guess she can use it for her hair
pins, or her bangs, or her teeth, or some
thing. Good NeIoS.