The Colfax chronicle., 1891-01-03
PUNGENT PARAoRApue

Il
=. seems to be easier to be N.-
poleon OF Finance than to nav ion ,..s.
on dollar.-Lewiston journal
which side did the old maid take
- me marriage discussion?" s.That mar.
.AaSe is not a failure. Rlade
me man who runs his boots down
nj tne heel has hard time keenipo his
Horn. "orio'-hams
oiara-"I think Fred is one of the
most weakened fellows I ever metz
Neiie tfred's best girl-"I don't think
Herald. os'on
The Modern Great Man.-.wbar
were you born, Prof. Greathead." "The
I'tn day OF May, 1882 or 81 am not
sure; but you will find it in the encyclo-
p@dia. .'-Fliegende Blatter.
-Alice-"Why, Edith, is that you?n
what pretty bonnet you have onp'
Edith-"Do you think 1 look we'll In
~? Alice-"Yes. indeed-I hardly
yknew you. Weekly.
Physician Ito country editor) -
Your pulse is decidedly better. How
ABOUT your circulation?' Country Edi-
.or tabsent mindedly) - Circulation?
ABOUT two thousand. Subscription
price, Sl.5o per year. "-Harper's Bazaar.
You don't know what a phenome-
non is? Why, COW is no phenomenon
and an apple tree is not phenomenon
either, but IL the COW should climb the
appie-tree. that would be a phenome-
non. "-Fliegende Blatter.
-Bjohnson-"Have YOU bought a
ticket to the church fair?n Rione.-
Not yet; but speaking of church fairs,
what an awful highway robbery that
was in Arizona, yesterday. Lawrence
American.
!. -Reader--"Yes, 1 liked your new
novel very we'll; but I observe the
critics do not find your characters nat
ural" Novelist-"I made those char.
acters up out of my own head" Reader
-'Ah! l see the critics think they are
rather wooden. America.
Practical Dame - ''How much are
tnese hsh?" Marketman = sixteen
cents pound, ma'am." Practical Dame
THAT seems very high. but then, l
know nshing is very hard on the consti-
tuition. Every time my husband goes
ne has an awful headache the next
morning. Good News.
Employment Agent-"Th' top o. IT,
mornin' t We, Biddy Maloney. Olive
found place fur ye. Go to the strate
an number ye foind on this card"
Domestic-"Sure, it's noice neighbor-
hood, Oil CO." Agent-Wait minute,
Biddy. Take off that French cap. It's |
not French maid. but an American
gurl they wants. IN. Y. Weekly.
Awful, indeed!-Mrs. Kawler-sI'm !
sorry that your husband was caught and |
sent to prison for his embezzlement of /
the banks funds" Mrs. Ab-Sconder =
>'fes, and the worst of 1t was that in
court they put him right into the same
pen with all the cheap, petty thieves.
SO degrading to man who stole $780,
600. ."-Lawreuce American.
The Importance Of thinking before
you speak recently received an amusing
illustration at meeting held in we'll
known town not hundred miles from
the banks Of the Hudson. One of the
persons who occupied the stage was an
enthusiastic deacon, who frequently in
terrupted the speakers by yelling:
Thank goodness for thatr' One gen.
tleman was called upon who arose and
said; Ladies and gentlemen, / am
heart and soul in this cause, and feel
that it would be great benefit to the
people of this place." THANK goodness
for that!' yelled the deacon. .But,
ladies' and gentlemen" he continued.
Il am going to say that it will be impos-
'ible for me to address you this evening
Thank good ness for that!'' broke
n the absent-minded deacon, amidst
general laughter.-N. Y. Ledger.