The morning call., 1891-12-27
WANTED DISSUASION.
Some Experienced People Give Adv
About Dating Marrjed

Some Experienced People Give Advice
About Getting Married.
The columns of New York paper re-
Gently contained a peculiar ad in the
want" department. 1t read as follows:
A YOUNG MAN, on THE POINT OF GETTING
~ married. is DESTROYS OF meeting man Of ex-
perleRce who viii dissuade him from the step
Here" said the city editor to the mortu-
airy reporter. whose long experience in sGch
matters makes him eminently capable of
handling the theme, go out and dig"
And he dug.
The first man interviewed was banker
doing business in Exchange place. He is
old and crusty and has not looked a woman
in the eye since 1858.
What-what is your advice?" gasped
the NJ. r.
"Humph!" grunted the woman-hater.
Next woman was sought out who Is the
mother OF five children.
"Ah." she said, ITS my advice you want
Law sakeSl you shall have 1t, and welcome.
| would say: Maybe he better; maybe not.
Depends. If the woman Of his heart is a
good cook, can turn tailor, do all the house
tinkering, can run a coal-yard at a pinch,
does not scrupie TO turn dress a dozen
times, can bring up the children not to be
too proud 10 wear dads old clothes. why, l
say go ahead"
But if n0t?"
Yes that's just it. Pretty dangerous to
try, amt it? Maybe he better wait mother
year and see if her love is true bluew
A schOolma am-Send him round
An old maid-Law sakes
a preacher will give him,reduced rates
Mr.. New Wed1COme and look at my new
baby. Real teeth, too.
The reporter next approached Chauncy
NJ. Depew. That genial Optimlst smiled
timidly and said
sit has been my life's experience that a
man who is married works harder, is more
contented and has more of the milk of hui
man kindness in his soul than any other
mortal on earth. A young lawyer, with a
hard struggle TO get along, came to me the
other day and said: Mr.. Depew. l want
your advice on very important subject.
want to get married. l am as poor as a
crow. Am / rash?' l looked the boy over
and saw that in his face which meant In
dustry, patience, sObriety and integrity.
said to him: DO tat once! We shook
hands and l wished him joy. That's my ad-
vice in a nutshell"
The next man accosted is worth million
in New York real estate. lie is notorious
miser. His wife lives dogs life.
MY advice" he said in hard, rasping
voice. sis to keep down expenses. Our
young men are too swift to run into debt
head over heels. Keep down expenses has
been the motto of my life. and look at u,e
to-day. l am worth S1,0O0,000 clear" And
he laughed a hard metallic gurgle and
rubbed his hands.
When the paragraph was thrust under the
nose of an 1S-year-old schoolgirl she blushed
and said:
IL wonder if that is my young man,
Charliep If he's going to crawfish now I'll
fool him. We are to be married at
Christmas and I'm to wear a lovely dress
with a long train and V-shape c0rsage.
Love is the only thing in this world-but
do not quote me or all the girls will die Of
envy"
The wldow-Pm sure l don't know why
you should come to me. Pm this side OF
80 yet. | am utterly astonished at this
young mans audacity. What's this world
coming TO?
The editor: Statistics show doth Kan
sas, 32-6) that the interesting phenomenon
is noted that the society columns in the
papers grow shorter as the columns of
mortgagee's sales grow longer / think
that covers it. Don't bother me now, as l
have 10 write leader on DO Sharks Have
Back Teeth?'"
The shabby clerk: "Come up and have
dinner with me and meet Sallie and the
babies. We're going to have the most Won
derful roast goose in the world for our Sun
day dinner."-Ex.