The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1891-10-30
DUMMIES IN THE BAND,
One of the Tricks of the Musicians Trade
Revealed by Musical Barber.

One of the Tricks of the Musicians Trade
Revealed by n Musical Barber.
He was engaged in cutting my hair,
and with the affability of his race he
strove to entertain me, says a writer
His conversation ran upon his own
power as a musician. His ''main-hold
| he said, was the cornet, but he was
| equally good at swallowing the piston
rod of the trombone, and wouldn't take
rear pew for the next man at scratch
| ing a sentry-box fiddle or coquetting
with the diaphragm of the baby violin.
why, then" ask ed, don't you OBJ
tain a place in some band?"
ut doesn't pay" he replied, there
are too many dummies in the field A
good musician can make big pay if he
can get d steady job, but there are only
three or four of them in each band. The
rest of them are dummies. This, of
course, doesn't apply to the prominent
bands, but a good many of the smaller
ones are made up in that way 0, no!
None of it for me. I'd rather scrape
customer than a fiddle, and prefer to
blow my own horn than to blow a
brazen one.
Take the picnic-excursion bands,
chowder bands and target-company
bands-at least ten per cent of them
are chuck full of dummies" He con-
tinued Suppose you want to hire j
band for any purpose. You hunt ur
a. leader and ask him how much he'll,
charge for, say, twenty pieces. He'll
tell you ten dollars for the leader and
five dollars a head for the others-a
total of one hundred and five dollars
Now, how many musicians do you sup
pose you get in that band?"
Twenty"
"Minus eight or ten. Do you sup.
pose that the leaders going to pay real
musicians five dollars when he can get
dummies for one dollar apiece"
"But what is a dummy"
''Why, any tramp can be dummy.
A grocery clerk or a bargain-counter
tiend very often makes good extra
wages by playing in band during his
off hours. The leader has eight or ten
good players always at his command,
They are regular members of his band
and he always knows where he can
place his hands on them. They get full
pay and can make as much music as
twenty. The rest are dummies. The
uniforms are furnished them, and all
they have to do is to swell out their
cheeks, look as if they are choking to
death, wiggle their tigers and turn
over the leaves of their notebooks
| TybnnnUnr fhau oil
musicians do So There isn't a sound
comes through the tlue of the horn
Once in awhile they make a bad break
and do blow. Then there is an I'M
earthly screech, and the dummy is fined
his day or nights pay. You see he is
paid for not playing, and fined if he
loses his grip on his breath. Some in
strumentS are made expressly for dunn
mics, and you couldn't knock note out
of EN- with cyclone hitched to the
blow end. Others are stuffed with rags
and no matter how absent-minded or
excited dummy may become, he can't
interfere with the harmony. Oh, it's
| great scheme"'
''But that applies only to wind instru-
ments; it couldn't be worked with
stringed music?"
Couldn't, Ell? What's the matter
with greasing the bow? Did you ever
try to play fiddle with the bow resined
with lard?"
Never did"
"Wcll, you try it You won't get any
more music ont of your fiddle than you
would out of a dead cat. The dummies
are supplied with fat or tallow done up
like resin. When the strings emit
noise ont comes the fat and the bow is
creased so that no squeak may burst
out upon the symphony of the concert
| know what I'm talking about, and
you'll find that it's true if you take the
| trouble to investigate the matter"
Investigation proved that there was
some truth in what the barber had said.
One or two leaders admitted that such
thing has been done in days gone by,
but they said that upon the organiza-
ton of musical unions the custom be-
came obsolete. In some instances it
might be done now. Dummies were
sometimes employed merely to learn
| the business and actions of the profess
sional musicians, they said, but their
services were never charged for.-St.
Louis Post Dispatch.