Pittsburg dispatch. [volume] (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, 1891-01-24

too happy when think how happy you will
be when you hear your worries are over.
81 wish so much, oh, so much that you
would ask your colonel to let you come
home on leave for little. You have been
away so long, and 1 do so long to see you
again. 1 am sure a change would be so good
for you in every way. Do, try and get
leave.
"with much love from your father, and
heaps of kisses from Effie (who is growing
so pretty and young ladyish), and from me.
Oh, nv darling, you can never know how
dear you are to me. Believe me, ever your
loving mother.
"MAIY ENGLETHoRPE."
"P. Sold Stmson, the carpenter, was
here to-day. He asked alter you, and SAYS
he wants so much to see you agaiD. He
seems to think YOU will be General, at
least, when you get backF'
As L read tine letter, in the dear familiar
hand, the thought of the old home life came
to me like the breath OF the sweet country
air of England amid the glow of barren
tropical rocks. As read the gentle words,
telling of love, patience, trustlulness ana
forgiveness, could do else than fall on my
knees, with tears raining down my face, and
try, ah, how feehly! from my long unprac-
ticed lips, to thank God again and again,
and to ask for His blessing on my kind par
ents, so unsuspectlng of the hideous fate
that was so nearly mine?
But suddenly, like lurid flash of light
ming, came the thought OF that awful room,
so near, and what it held.
1t may have been the sound of feet on the
stairs, tine murmur of many voices which re-
called me-
They were coming toward nv room. In
an instant my mind was made up. would
never diyulge TO living soul what had passed
between Helmsdorf and myself rapidly
shut and replaced the pistol case. The door
flew open; two officers with scared and white
iaces came in breathless.
Good Godp' cried one to me. "Helms-
dorf has shot himself"
uttered an exclamation of horror.
Where? When?" cried.
''In his room! Anstice went in and found
him deadl Come and seep'
No one will ever know what it cost me to
go.
1 passed, feeling as if were dreaming,
through the little crowd OF officers and
soldier-servants which stood, scared and
silent. outside Helmsdorf's door, and entered
the room.
There he was, sitting in his chair, at the
table br the window which looked into the
courtyard, quite dead, his head and shoulders
a thin stream of blood cozed from his
mouth, and had run to the edge of the table,
whence it fell slowly, drop by drop, on the
floor.
Here is a paper, sir, with writing" said
Helmsdori's soldier servant. who was stand
ing by. crying.
This was what was written there:
"Good-by, dear boys. Sorry to leave you,
but there is no way out of it. have come
to grief, and nothing can put me right in
this world 1 don't know about the next.
Tell Dolby am sorry about the money.
don't know exactly how much is short.
II got my accounts wrong soon after l
took over and never could get them right
again! Good-by! How slow old Williams
is? He is lighting my lamp first. Here
goes
do not remember anything for some days
after this.
Itseems that 1 swooned after reading the
letter and was carried to my room.
Il surprised no one that 1 should be so
much moved by the terrible end of one who
was well known to have been my dearest
friend.
The first subsequent event 1 recollect is
lying on the sofa in my room, the kind, old
regimental surgeon by my side, bathing my
head.
''The colonel agrees with me; trip home
will do YOU good, my boy. You've been too
long out here. and you know you have not
been quite so steady in your habits as you
might nave been," he added, with look
full OF meaning. though full of kindness.
You're to be put on board tomorrow;
the shock has tried you good deal.
"But, doctor,' added with a shudder.
sis he? Have they? 1 mean the
funeral"
The old surgeons face grew very sad.
'There was no funeral, poor lad, he said
gravely. "The Coroner's inquest which sat
Iound a verdict OF ielo de Sc. tried to
show that he couli not hsye been in his
right mind at the time. Indeed, l don't
think he was. The letter was very incohe-
rent, and pointed this out TO the Court
when gave my evidence. No sane man
would right about the lamplighter being
slow at such time: and talking about his
lamp being lighted What could he mean?
But no one will ever know what the poor
fellow meant now," he added, signing.
After pause he continued: II did my
best, but it was useless. The money was
wrong beyond !, doubt, and we could not
get any evidence to show he was not sane
except the letter, so far as it went, and they
said they could not conscientiously give a
verdict other than the one they gave"
"What have they done. then?' 1 gasped.
What does it mean-their verdict"
at explains" said the old doctor sadly.
"why there was no funeral. Poor Helms
dorf did felon's deed. and he lies in
felon's grave. They carried him out last
night at midnight and buried him bevond
the line But what a fool l am!'' he
burst out excitedly, as he saw how terribly
1 was agitated. Calm yourself, INV dear
boy, calm YOURSELF" And no woman could
have soothed me more kindly or more
patiently.
Ny story is done. need not to 60 on to
say how, when 1 reached home, L found the
love l so little deserved awaiting me un-
changed; nor how, to escape terrible
memories, / exchanged to another regiment,
and, a changed man in heart and soul, strove
to live nobler and worthier life.
1t has stirred me, as I have written this,
more than 1 have ever been stirred since the
awful day itself, but it may be Tor my good.
look ouce more at the outward signs OF
honors and successes in life. l see the min-
iatures of the little faces of my children's s
children, and every sign and symptom of a
happy and honorable old age, but the pages
have Just written, still wet with tears (for
have wept as 1 have written), remind me
of what. but for Gods mercy aud goodness
to me, might have been.
CARDINAL GIBBONS, Powderly, Sena-
tors Dolph and Ingalls, and others discuss
the dangers that threaten the Republic in
THE DISPATCH tomorrow. An interest