The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-27
BRIGHT BITS.

IT Said that the Spring bonnet this year
will ecip$, that of all previous Seasons. 1t
generally does go to the head.-Roche ester Post
Express.
do YoU think that tailors are on the whole a
deserving class OF mem"
well, il can't be denied that we owe them a
great deal "-Net0 York Herald.
PRoFEssoR Ito class in geology)-Now, gems
are peculiarly crystallized. What is the form Of
the diamond?
Bright Pupil-They are generally diamond
shaped.-JelceEerS' Weekly
In THEgBAsEMENT.-Brid il the Teller
she's tryin'to make think she's rich that's in
the parlor?
T6omas-Naw, it's the Teller she's irwin to
make think she's young.-MlGnseYs Weekly
MAUD-George, please explain what you
meant by telling Edith that my eyes reminded
George-Why, simply, that to appreciate their
beauty one must see them at night.-Pttck.
Il NEVER give kiss said Sue,
My lit % black-eyed maiden.
81 never give kiss, It's true,
But an, you bet, / trade 'emrf
-Neo York Herald.
CURIo DEALER-Here's a skeleton of George
Washington's pet cat.
CoIIector-I don't want one so large. What's
this small one?
Curio Dealer-That's skeleton of the same
cat when it was kitten. Chicago NeWs
A 1ENNESSEEAN ShlQ ne guessed ne q 20 down
TO the day.po. An acquaintance guessed that
he'd go down to the depot at the same time
Neither of them went, however. When they
got through fighting over it they were in the
hands of the doctors, and trains were an hour
late Detroit Free Press.
HENRY-Do you ever write for the pressp
George-rve made modest beginning in that
direction--that is all.
Henry-Ahl
George-Yes: bought blank writing pad and
a box of large envelopes. When 1 get time
think II spring something on the Forum
Puck.
WILL some one repeat the golden text ?"
called out the Sunday school superintendent
willie McGuire, will you repeat it3''
And Willie Mcclure stood up and said he dis
remembered it 'xactly, but he thought it was
where no trust could corrupt-Chicdoo
Tribune.
FARMER HAYsTACK-Hello, Joshi How did We
like city lte' Dye go to any Of them theaters
while ye was away?
Farmer Waybaok-Wall, don't think much
of them lighthouses. First the band played
and then lot of folks came out and began a
taikin' about their own affairs, and so list got
up and left.-PrInceton Tiger.
81 SEE, said very pretty and bright school
girl, Il see that the Italian government is going
to send a war vessel over to punish the New Or
leans folks"
well, what do you think of it. dearieY"
Il hope they'll send her. I'm sure she'd
never get back, We are two much in need of a
navy to let thing like that escape. '-AtIunt to
Journal
ITO COME to business at once" said the
spokesman, I'VE will give you $50 if you will
vote as we desire on this measure"
Gentlemen" replied the alderman from the
Steenth ward, his eye ablaze and his whole
frame swelling with indignation, you insult
me beyond the power of words to express by
presumng to think l would sell my vote-for
S50t"-ChtcG0o Tribune
A TRAMP sneaked up to the window of Col
MerrilHs kitchen, and taking off his remnant of
a hat said to Matilda Snowfall. who is blacker
than the ace of spades: Fair lady, can't you
give a poor but respectable man something to
stay his stomach Have you no pie, for in
Stance?"
Matilda had both COMPASSION and pie, and
cutting one of the latter in halves gave one of
them TO the polite visitor, remarKinZ that he
was gentleman, even if be was white.
Thanks" he responded. May you retain
your present beauty for a thousand years"
Oats twice too much" said Matilda, blush
ing.
well, If it's twice too much, fair lady, give
me the other half of the pie to make us even :"
He got it.-Tecds Strings