Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-01-23


the legs, used piece of bed cord for a sus-
pender, put on his old SLOUGH hat and start
ed for the Wells residence. but Malindy
was not at home. Two evenings after,
however, he found her there, and made his
wishes known as follows.
wal, Lindy, I've he'd my eye sot on We
ever sence Sindy died, an I'm yere ter az
We eff ye're within ter jine me.n
"Jine you?" she asked in the most sar-
castle and scornful manner she could COM
mand.
"Ya-as"
What do you mean?"
"fe know wat l mean, well ernuff.
want ye ter be my woman-ter jine me an
live 18th meter be my wife Do We un'-
erstan?"
"Of course / will notp
Wont, eh?"
No"
"W'y?"
Don't want your
Purity sassy, ye air"
Il can't help that. | don't want YOU.
and will not jine' you! Do you understand
that"
"Uh-huh"
We'll, good night then," said the girl,
as she started to leave the room
Say, hold on er mint"
What do you want?" demanded the
girl
"Doncher think ye'd best change yer
mind, gals"
No! i shall never change it for youl
You had better wait until your last wife
gets cold before trying to get another,
think. But l would never marry at all if
you were my only chance, and it is useless
Tor you to press your suit any further"
1e an ther parsons gittin' purity dad
blamed thick, an l reckon it's some o. his
dom's"
1t makes no difference. You have al
ready killed five wives, and | tell YOU now
that you will never get chance to kill me,
and you had just as well leave, or 1 will
\ make you"
Say, gal, I've got er good hum fer We.
an We 'uldn't hev much o. ennything ter
do, only SIGH little chores es cuttin' wood,
hoeln' corn, suckerin terbacker, AMI
Get out of here, tell you," shouted the
girl, as she made for him with the broom,
ana he got up and shook the dust of the
Wells plantation off his feet
returning home he took short cut
through the mountains, and az he passed
along the narrow path under the bluff on
the river bank he met the parson, who, un-
conscious that they were rivals, extended
his hand to the enraged deacon But in
stead of grasping the parsons hand the
deacon began TO take off his coat, and said:
Say, parson, yer've got me ter whup."
wv hat in the world is the matter with
you, / should like to know"
'Thar's matter ernuff. I'll whup We er
yen whup me, one er luther
why, man, what have | done to incur
your displeasure in such manner"
Done ernuff, an I'll pitch We often Their
bank inter the river" and he caught the
parson in his arms.
The parson was by far the smaller man.
but he decided to stick to the deacon closer
than a brother, while the irate deacon COM
~menced backing off toward the bank, and.
IS he thought, to hurl the little parson into
the cooling stream, they both fell over, and
the parson seemingly rode down the en-
bankment on the carcass of the deacon.
The water was not very deep, but the
parson was the best man of the two in the
water, and after dipping the deacon under
three times he asked:
Have you got enough?"
"Nawn
Then I'll put you under until you do ~
and he dipped him three times more, and
the old fellow yelled:
"'Nuff. Lemme outen yere"
When both were out and standing on the
bank the parson said:
well, deacon, as the matter is now over
would like to know what have done to
make you treat me in this manner"
wal, ye've did a right smart Fust,
we've spilled Their gal wuz er goin' ter hev
fer my mex wife, an now she won't line
me-"
''Who is it,''
Lindy Wells.n
have done nothing of the kind"
re air er liar, an ye know it, Thar,
take ernuther bath, and he made plunge
for the parson, who was standing between
him and the water, but the sprightIv mar.
son stepped to one side and the deacon
went in head first
''Now," said the parson, .'PIl keen Won
in there until next Sunday if you don't
take that back"
"I'Q never cutter" said the deacon. but
the parson was firm and pushed him off
every time he came near the bank, and at
last the deacon said:
oval, mebbe wuz er jedgin' We wrong. ~
and the parson helped him out, and each
| man went his way home.
A month after that the parson and Ma
Indy were married, and when the deacon
heard of it he said. regretfully:
"It's purity dadgasted hard on er Teller
| wen his wife's gone an died jes' wen he
needs er wife ther wust, an 'specshally
| wen ther craps sufferin'; but wat hate
| Their wust is ter think 'at Their parson
preached Their ole oman's funeral wen she
died, an then sot out an married ther
very gal he'd made up my mind ter marry
afore Sindy wuz in FER coffin."-J. w.
Hyder in Times Democrat.
About . Child's Beading.
/ do not think it is very serviceable to
make list Of books for children to read.
| No two have exactly The same aptitudes,
| ;rl, Il A.