Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1891-10-30
BARBER AND SMALL BOY.
A Combination That Works Well But
Has Its Drawbacks.

al acquaintance WIN every one UnaG
gets into his chair. 1t would probably
be better for the victim if he could but
be chloroformed while in the chair un-
der the razor the same as when on the
table under the knife The barber is
greater artist than many imagine him
to be. We do not mean by this that he
is rarer tonsorial artist than any one
would fancy him, but that he is an
artist in the art of entertaining or bor-
ing his victim during the process Of
shaving. Sometimes a good story will
atone for corduroy shave, while a
poor story will mar the soothing effects
of silk-velvet shave. But it is not our
purpose or intention to enter into dis
cussion relative to the ethics of this
great craft, but simply to show that
the barber is entitled to serious con-
sideration as master of romance.
Full well does he know how to address
each customer, no matter what his
walk in life, If rustic, with bran in
his hair, he is not slow to discuss the
crop outlook, and to make inquiries
relative to the latest improvements in
agricultural implements, and also to
touch upon the power of homeopathic
pills in cases of hog cholera,
If a politician, the barber can give
him statistical information worth twice
the price of the shave, and send his
victim forth with knowledge calcu-
lated to guide him safely in laying po-
litical hat bets And so can this gen.
tie, unassumingartist please the grocer,
the horse-car conductor and the veter-
mary surgeon, until each one believes
the barber to have been in his line at
some previous period of his career
When he gets small boy into the chair
for the purpose of carving his hirsute,
he does not SO far forget himself pro-
fessionally as to ask that boy what he
thinks regarding So-and-so's prospect
of getting the nomination for the presi-
dency in '92, He does not ask the boy
what he thinks of the great forest fires
in the far west, nor does he deign to
allude to some celebrated scandal OF
the day to entertain the boy while
cutting his hair and filing his nose
and mouth and eyes with the same.
He knows that if he would not allow
his rival to secure that boys custom, he
must talk better than he cuts, SO he
loses no time in speaking of the great
improvements in the bicycles of to-day
over those of last year. He alludes tc
the great and growing interest in base
ball, and advances the opinion thai
New York will win the penant. This
arouses the boys enthusiasm and he
talks as well as he can-against bar
ber-but feels badly handicapped
through having his mouth about as full
of hair as the barber is full of infor
nation. OF course the boy realizes
that he is talking with master, ant
consequently is unable to speak will
the careless freedom which amounts tt
grace and finish. He further know
that if he should gain an inch or ratheI
word on the barber that that worth,
would literally choke him off, a
matter of etiquette and professional
pride, by the simple and direct opera
ton of tightening the huge apron fas
tened about his throat to keep the hal
from going down his neck, and to Civ
it an opportunity to get into his eye
and mouth.
Having exhausted the topic of sport
ing, the barber drifts off into a silver,
flowing river of generalities calculates
to fill boy with delight He tells hin
how to make bird lime and traps t
catch woodchucks, and how to tie
kettle to dogs tail in such way tha
it can not come off without taking tn
tail with it. All this fills the boy wit
delight, and he never thinks that hi
hair is being hacked off in such styl
that when the light strikes it his hea
will appear to be covered with will
series of meandering stripes and cert
fed checks.
The boy is all attention while tn
barber is discussing the beauties of tn
latest boys stories; for he reads tn
current stories for boys in order to
able to speak of them intelligently t
Juvenile customers-and it may not b
superfuous 90 add that he subscribe
for several boys papers to glad tn
hearts of boys awaiting their turn t
be placed under the shears. The onl
, thing that mortifies the barber an
J makes him snappish and despondent, !
, that after he has cut the boys hair, h
/, | ~ efeta 81, l.; l,
. would like to be shaved, or if he woul
: purchase bottle of Azalea balm t
keep his hair from having falling ou
/ with him.
The barber is himself even when
l nurse takes little girl to him to hav
} her bangs cut. While trimming thes
bangs with the severe evenness wit
, which he would trim lamp wick, h
!, talks to her about jumping rope, an
: tossing the bean bag-a popular Bosto
, game-and tells her how to cut OF
paper dolls, at the same time illustra
1 ing his words by scissoring an imag
, nary doll out of the air. But he fee
, a bit discounted when the child speak
of her French doll that has long blond
: hair that never requires cutting, an
that can talk flucntly when wound III
! He is amused at the mention of tn
. talking doll that can only talk whe
8 wound up. Because he can talk all th
l time-even in his sleep But he is al
: noyed to hear of doll whose hair nev,
; requires cutting or shampooing. An
he is so annoyed that he determines {
: let his next customer know that he
barber by giving him barbed-wil
shave and making him feel as thoug
$ tossed by bull face-first into an osag
orange hedge.-R. X. Munkittrick,
. Once Week
Learning by Experience.
. Tramp-Please, mum, I'd like SON
a cold vittles for my dog
a Housekeeper-Dog! Why do you s
tramping through the country with