Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1891-10-16
PITH AND POINT.
Dogwood-Bark.


the arrel.-Puct.
Every man has his price, but brides
are given away.-LDe.
Tends to pleasc-An obliging sales
man.-Detroit Free Press.
A fad is fashion before it gets to the
people, Washington Star.
Feeblewitte wonders if soldiers who.
are being drilled do not feel bored. De
troit Free Fress.
She-"So you loved and lost, did
you2" He-tNo, she returned all my
presents. "--EpocA.
''He is aging very rapidly, is he nota'
"well-at the usual rate. Sixty seconds
to the minute. "-Epoch. ~
When sick man refuses to send fer-f
doctor that is sign that he still cling
to life.-Ieras Sytinqs.
ooh, Mr.. Bulinch, you are SO odd"
"The remedy, Miss Smilax, lies entirely
with you. "--Boston Courier.
elbow very affected Mrs. Maycup is in
her ways!" "Why, yes; she even cools,
her water with artificial ice. Puck
OF oil the doleful English tales
The worst is that the Prince of Wales
Is quite too old to spank.
Washington Fost.
When lightning tries to be funny it is:
very liable to make even the strongest
oaks split their Sides Baltimore Ameri-
"6,=;s a-s-->
'How was it that both principals were
killed in that last French ducl2" "They
fought with American toy-pistols."
Puck.
1t is not M uncommon thing to sec
women even who have as many as three
sheets in the wind-on washing day.
Detroit Free Press.
Miss Budde-s'Which men do you like
best, New Workers or Bostonians or
Chicago men2" Miss Wallfower
(yearnfully)-"Any."
First Man (seeking place in street carl
els the ark full2" Second Man
eyes, with the exception of the ass.
Come in!"-PicI Ne Up.
The Atchinson (Kan.) Glo5s thinks it
is no wonder dogs spend so much time
bowling. Think, it says, of the kind of
men who are always going to them.
One half the world does not know
how the other half lives-nor in mfay
cases would the former half be willing
to have it known how it lives.-Life.
When first we met they told me she
Was just the match for lonely inc;
l wed with her, and now | see
She is match and more for me-
--Munseys Weekly.
"Ah: Jim, we poor folks has our
trials" eyes, rs had good many;
but it amt the trials what annoys me,
it's the verdict they brings in AFTER
wards. "-Lye.
Mr.. Figg-"I don't know why, but it
has seemed like Sunday to me all day"
Tommy-''It has to me too, paw. Ma
made me wash my neck this morning."
-IndianGpo'is Journal.
Miss Lucas-''Have you any thing to-
go with my new bonnet7' Jeweler (af-s
ter critically examining the floral mon
strosity)- William, bring this lady the
sprinkling-p ."-Js.o:lers' Weekly.
Watts-"Don't you always feel more
at peace with yourself after giving aims
to beggar2" Potts-"Wcu, no; L
hardly know whether to feel proud of
my soft heart or ashamed of my soft
head. "-Indianapolis Journal
Spatts-"It is said that all is fair in
love and war, but there is one great diff
ference between them" Bloobumper-
"What is it?" Spatts-"In love the
fighting does not begin until after the
engagement is over. "-Mew Tors San.
Mrs. Snell-"Snell, dear, you'll have
to get me set of ruby or sapphire Jew
elry. saw in this mornings paper that
there's war on the diamond" MIR. Smell
-"Tut, tut. Marie! You've been read
ing the baseball news IOelsra'
Weekly. 81 :,
"equals the skeptlcism of married won-
en-" "You nre mistaken, my dear"
answered Mrs. Tozer, "there is one
thing" "What is it?o "The creduali-
ty of the unmarried ones. "-Dst,yit
Tribune.
Hawtins-"You were on the jury in
the murder trial, wern't you2 What
was the vcr1ict2" Lambson-". Acouit-
tall" sin spite of such convicting evil
dence2 What excuse had your" l"In-s
sane" "Whatl All of youln-.Kate.
Fields Washington.
penelope, " said her aunt as the CONF
pany gathered about the table, "you
will sit in this high chair by me-" s.If
you please, Aunt Rachel" replied the
dear little Boston threc-year.ol with
artleas dignity, ''I prefer to sit on al
ordinary chair with volume of Aristotle
placed on the seat. y Chicago Tribune.
"What do you think about your
fathers consenta" George asked after
all the preliminaries had been arranged.
-"You had better speak to him this very
evening"" she said, positively. $50
soonr eyes; he has been terribly put
out with me to-day. and 1 think the idea
would just about strike him. - Washing
Ton Poet