The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1891-05-07
MISS BRISTLE'S LOVER.
The Fraudulent Count and tho Amerl..
can Helress.

MISS ID. StduulnB III Celltic VI iOoii Hoiu-
ing card.
Bessie Bristle-The Count The
Count And at this hour in the morn
ingl Goodness mel Doesn't he know
anything? The Idea of his calling in
the morning and me in this here horri-
BILE rig Why shoot the luckl hahn t
got on nothin but this old neggeljay
wrapper and my boots amt laced and
my face is all shiny. | know! l
can fix that, though. Takes
powder bag and small mirror from her
pocket and rapidly goes over face,
leaving powder in splatches in her
hurry. And the shoelaces! Well, l
know the reputation us Chicago girls
have on feet, but | can keep mine un-
der my dress. Iguess. Reads card.
Count Bologna Macaroni, Loggia del
Vatican, Roma" Wow Amt that
great? And won't l paralyze the girls
when I get him! Well, | guess yes.
Mrs. Count Bologna Macaroni. Isn't
that swell? should say so. But
jimminyl that won't be it. A mar
ried woman isn't Mrs. in Italy
she's IA frau. No, that's Dutch or
German or Milwaukean or something
Let's see. Where is my Italian Ian
guage, anyway? What did l study it
two years at Vassar for, dreamin all
the while of the day when I should
catch on to a Count orr Wis Count or
q Discount, or whatever they call them
nobilities over there? Let me seel
Let me seel Mademoiselle? No, that s
the Spanish for Mrs.-Signor, Senior
tia, Sonora? Sonora! That's it.
That's q bulls eye. That's what
they'll dub me. Not Mrs. Bulls
eye Macaroni, but Sonora Coun-
tess Bologna Macaroni. Amt that
sweetly swell? But l don't care what
they call me so long as l catch that
Count. Wonder why he doesn't come
in. / told the maid when she brought
his card to show him right in here. l
just wonder if he's just primping and
twisting that filmy mustache in front
OF the hall mirror. [Tiptoes to the
door as though peeping into hail.
Them foreigners are awfully vain.
HUH If had such q slender and
sickly upper lip adornment as his I'd
call it down in front" or 'fuzz
straight" or-er--Great greasy vas
elinel Here he comes. [She turns as
though having heard his approach,
and, bowling and smiling, goes to meet
him, the Count dainty taking the
tips of her offered fingers and kissing
her hand with great gallantry] Oh!
Good morning, Count I'm so glad
to see you. l thought it was one of
the girls.
Count-Goota morn, Missa Bris'!
Goota morn 1t not one ola da
girls deesa time. 1t one ola da boys.
Ha! You see | catcha on queeck lika
da measles. Da younga men in deesa
place YER slick-ver' nice-dey taxa
me toa da club-giva me da greata
entertain -dey maka me one ola da
boys. You looka da YER sweet deesa
morn
Bessie-Flatterer
Count-Nol mol Me no giva da fiat
me glva da straighta goods.
Bessie-The ideal Why, we girls of
the -Four Hundred I'am the three
hundred and ninety always
sleep very late in the morning and
Fam barely up yet.
Count - Noa dif-noa, diff You
hava da neck lika da snowa drift ona
da Alps-you hava da teeth lika da
piano keys-you hava eye lika da
hazel nut-youa cheek hava da color
lika da sun when him set ona da Bay
OF Naples-you hava da finger like
nicea long, slender banan.' You hava
da breath sweet lika da 'Mericano
Beauty rose when him costa da two
dolls each. Oh [forgetting himself.
you pleased me da YER much. When
| looka up and seea you-when
playa da org
Bessie-Orgl' Org Aside-I believe
he's molar-I mean grinder (organ
grinder) after all, and not a genuine
Count. mustn't make mistake.
No Count doesn't count. / want n
Count that counts. I'll find out what
he is-Chicag' never gets left on Counts
or Worlds Fairs.) My dear Count
what do youmean? musical?
Count-Sura, surel (Aside-Va Bada
break! Mya tongue maka one slip ola
d!a llp) Iplaya da org in mya land,
sweeta notes rolla forth-when da
music enter mya soul, get one far-off
look ina my cyclone vision stand be-
tore my face-one dara, sweeta face,
with da angel eyes, with chestnut
hair, soft lika da cobbaweb, with ex-
preston sweet, lika da Raphaello
Madonna. OH caro- milo, Data face
belonga not in Italia-datta face be-
Tonga not in heaven-noa angel hava
one face lika dat-it belonga in Chicag'
it belonga to you. Oh, ii Satan
owna Data face would to him giya
far it my owna soul. Oh, Sweetheart
Bris'-I Iowa you, l Iowa you.
l know | notta worthy to touch your
shoealace-buta-
Bessle(spreading dress out over her
feet-Why Count-yes, you are[Asidel
Shoot the shoelace!l Please, dear,
good Count, go on. You may fix the
shoestring The goes down on one knee
and tremblingly fuses with thestringl
but please, please finish your remark.
You We're saying?
Count Iowa you-bemya wifel
Bessie-Ohl [clutchingher heartl but
Countie, dear, this is so strange-so
sudden. You cannot meant. What
/, the poor wearer of no noble name,
to bear a title and coat of arms?
This?-all this? And richer far than
all the rest, your love; your precious,
Romeoish Claude Meinottish love:
pure undefiled and unmercenary. OH
-ah, it is a dream-a morning treas