The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1891-03-06
MR.. AND MRS. BoWsER.
The Former Has Relapse and Praetisei
High JiDka A1ai0

NIX. AND MRS. BOWSER.
The Former Has Relapse and Praetises
High Jinks Again.
lam deeply panied to be obliged to In
form the public that Mr.. Bowser has had a
relapse. 1t wasn't entirely unexpected,
but was still something of a shock Mr..
Bowser's good streak" lasted eleven days.
During that time he took me to the thea
tire twice, paid a millinery bill of So with
out a word, raised the cooks wages fifty
cents per week, acknowledged that coald
buy groceries cheaper than he could, in-
sisted on allowing me IS pin money per
week, and was so different from his usual
self in other ways that was quite bewil-
dered. He went away from the house Sat
urday noon fairly beaming with goodness,
and as he reached the bottom step he
turned and said:
''Tra-la, chickeyl Well run down town
this evening and see about getting some
new silverware."
When he returned I was at the door to
meet him and to greet him. but he waved
me aside and growled:
"Come, now, but don't be playing baby
at your ageF'
y
"Nog'
"Has anything happened7"
"Nol What's the matter that supper
isn't ready? If that good-for-nothing, lazy
cook doesn't get up and stir her stumps
more lively I'll fire her on a minutes no.
tice. Mrs. Bowser, you never have any
first class help in the housep'
"Why, Mr.. Bowserl You told me only
yesterday that Anna was the snartest cook
you ever saw in a kitchenl'
'Never did Never said a word which
could be twisted around to mean such a
thingw
'And you raised her wages9"
81 did that to smarter her up, but it is
no use. Discharge her tomorrow
At the table Mr.. Bowser found fault
with the biscuit, the tea, the cold meat and
everything else, and finally called out:
''Mrs. Bowser, are you stone blinds"
"Of course not"
"Then how came you to buy such honey
as this. Any one but blind woman could
see that it is buckwheat and not clover
Why, dog wouldn't touch itp'
"But you ordered it yourself"
what"
'eYou ordered it of Green through the
telephone Thursday. Don't you remember
you had to spell out the word honey before
he could understands"
"Neverl Never telephonedi Never spelled
out the world Better take it out and bury
itl''
After supper began to get ready TO go
down town, when he suddenly looked up
from his paper and asked:
whats up now?"
why, you said We were to go down
town this evening""
"You must be crazyi Don't you suppose
1 ever want night to sit down and rest
myself? it's q wonder there's woman left
alive on earthl It's nothing but CAD, CAD.
CAD, from morning till night. What do
you want down town."
you said we'd see about some silver
ware"
"Silverwarel Silverwarei Great Scotsi
but is the woman a lunatic! We've got
bushels of it now in the housed We've
got it IN the closet, down cellar, upstairs
and in the garrett It'll be the insane asy-
lum next"
"Mr. Bowser, didn't you call me chickey
when you went away at noonp
"Chickeyl Never~
But you certainly did"
81 certainly didn't Chickey' Well. when
] get as soft as that l want some ice wagon
to run over meP
About o'clock that evening be removed
his shoes to put on his slippers, but sud-
denly paused and inquired:
Is there darning needle in this house,
Mrs. Bowserp
why, certainly"
And piece of sheep tvine,-
What CO earth do you want Of sheep
ewine" ,
II want 20 darn this hole IN my sock. |
Some mems wives can see such things in |
half an hour, but this one has been here |
three weeks I've got TO darn IL. the same |
as have TO sew on my own buttons sup |
pose I'll have TO make the bed and sweep |
The floor IA another week"
Those socks were all right when ron !
changed Sunday. III darn EN- the frss /
thing n the morning"
~Nos m1chi The limit has been reached |
he wouldn't even let me get darning |
needle for him. but he hunted one ont Of
me baske, and then. instead Of taking /
yarn, he gos a piece Of tw:ne which hsd
,orne around package, and basxn 70 sew
hack and forth across the hole BE Also
made determined attempt 70 lock like
martyr, and be succeeded 80 red thss .ha
,cok, who had looked In for q moment,
ne out into tbs kitchen and
whispered:
II knew ik wouldn't last, ra'au-knew
I adj the time! He's ers hin high Snkz on
again, and BOW nothing Will 60 right tcr
ne nex1 month Detroit Free prrsA
The Dusce q B~dfma prsdsd hirnsels
~ opposing al local tmpro~eu,e-tz ir
london He ve . bitter foe Of that
'.ogress which the metropolis now con-
a1ers necessary TO her alvssiou. and he
ought every attempt 70 open neS streets