The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-04-06
BRIGHT BITS.

BOY who is frequently chastisad both by his
mother aud grandmother, spe ks of them as ia
spanking team. "-Terds SJtinos.
"DoLooMB's CONVERSATION is exceedingly brill
liant is it not?''
ut ought to be; he is lantern iawed. Sid.
1lev JOurnd'. ~
WHEN a man throws away the strap around
ms poe ketbook as soon as he joins the church IL
is pretty sure sign that he has religion FL
MIRA AdUertiSer.
MRS. GADD-I hear Mrs Dadd is going to
move. ~
Mrs. Gabb-Yes, she moves every year since
she got her new furniture.-NelU Yors JVeeKIu.
HAD you rather be a mounted noliceman or
one on foot?" said little boy to his sister. 20
mounted policeman because then if found
any robbers could get away faster-Courter
deS Eats Unts,
time. -''''
Sne-How did he strike you?
.. just ike the rest of the boys. He wanted
$5."-Detroit Free Press.
TOMMY JoNEs-Ssy, mister, want TO get a
pair O. gloves.
Furnisher-Kid gloves9
Ionmy-Naw! Nav! What a you givin'
us? Gloves fur grown pursons Bin ohan1ton
Leader.
He taught his wife the sin of dress
With eloQuence and power,
And then played b lizards all dav long
AT 10 cents an hour.
Cloak Revie 10.
YOU can't do any business with me-" said
the new settler to the village Doctor II intend
to be my own doctor"
That's all right" returned the physiciap
Let me introduce you to my brother the un-
dertaker '-P'ttsbAg Dispatch.
THERE'S no satisfying a woman's whims.n
SAID the long necked man.
MO- said the man with the bad cigar
NO. Just take her maid for instance She
always expects the girl to be both a ready maid
and maid to order. ''-IndianGpolis Journal
lRATE CUsroMER-Here, you old scoundrel.
you guaranteed these fame to last year and
look at tnen ter having lie N twice wasued.
Me1chant--S' help me, you got EN- tree
weeks and wash 'em twice / said Won wear and
Won vash.-NelO York Sun.
Miss PALIsADE--I have lust heard that vour
orother mas lost two OF his fingers. am SO
sorry and the pain must nave been frightful
MISS oralny (from bostonl-O, the pain was
nothing, but just think isobbingl He won't he
able to tie his own neckties any more-Clothter
and tlLrntS err
DooToR-Troubled with Insomnia, ehY Eat
something before going to bed
fatient-Mh ny. doctor, you once told me never
10 eat ANYTHING before gong to bed.
Doctor with, dignity That madam was wav
back in 1889. Science has made great strides
since then.-Nec York Weekly.
FEATBERsToNE (waiting for Ringway to dress)
Il see you are Improving, old man. A wear
1t yourself. wonder where you will be next
year. 0N'
Ringway (desperatelyl--I shall probably be
still tying it u tothfer and Furnisher.
Mr.. WIcKw1RE-It wouldn't be a bad idea
my dear, for you TO change Carlos name TO
Spot t-s
Mrs. Wickwire-SpotY why, he is no coach
dog. 0''N-
Mr.. wickwire-No; but the neighbors are
threatening TO wipe him Indianapolis
Journal.
so YOU'RE going to marry Miss Humphrey,
II am"
Why. both her upper and lower teeth are
NSo much the better. She won't bother me
with having the toothache, the expense OF
drawing and getting new sets of teeth; seeg'-
heaIttcay State journal.
Detective Caught at last by Cupid)-Dont
take your hand away srom mine, dear It's the
prettiest, smootheSt, shapelest little hand |
ever saw.
His Dear-Your only say that to fiatter me.
Dctective-No, indeed. mean it. with en-
thusiasm) What perfectly splendid pickpocket
you'd make !-ChicGgo Tribune.