The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-11-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The family tree cannot be depended on
for board.-Iadiandpolis Journal.
"Has he no aim in life2" "Oh, yes;
but he's never had a shot at it."-PtIck.
Solomon was great jurist, but he
didn't believe in splitting heirs. s.-Epoch.
Dentists are not all farmers, but they
live off the achers just the same.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.
Hope builds nest in mans heart
where disappointment matches its brood.
Teas Sytings.
1t has been discovered that music
comes out of a barrel organ in sta7es.--
Washington Star.
Although girl likes to own mans
NeD York Herald.
1t is said the Gar never shaves, but
most people know he has had many
close shave.-P PittS6urg Post.
Ween they say the brides costume was
a dream do they mean to imply that it
was an illusion2-BoStoR Gazette.
"How's business2" asked one pick
pocket of another. 81 manage to keep
my hand in, was the reply. Epoch.
Some duties are best performed by
deputy. When a man is bearing stocks,
he doesn't like to carry them himself
Puck.
Woman uses powder as q defence
against Time; but the old fellow isn't
scared away by that kind Of ammunition.
Puck.
Queer things happen sometimes. An
Ohio man recently opened jewelry store
and got six years for doing so.-JeUeters'
Weekly.
"Gunpowder blue" Is a new color.
The girl who meets her match dressed in
that will be sure to go off..-NeO Orlean
P,cdyune.
Character is like the grand old cathe-
dral bell. Reputation is the brass tin.
tinnabulum Of the loud mouthed auc-
tioneer. Dallas NeOs.
Pudley-'By Jovel What tall fel-
low Jones is" Dudiey-"Don't see 1t,
old man. He's always short when meet
him. ."--BostoR Bulletin.
The barber man that shaved my beard
In looks seemed but Ounce;
Yet must he bea wondrous man
To work two chins at once?
Mercury.
Turkey red is made from the maddeI
plant, which grows in IIindostan. 1t is
probable that the madder it gets the
redder it becomes. .-N6U Orleans Plea
yUne.
Brine-"Have you read Smartellicll's
new novel2" Jones-"No; what's it
aboutp Brine-"Well, it's about AIS
pages long, as far as l can judge. Chi.
cago Nel0s.
BiIson says the difference between
himself and his wife is only difference
of terms. She calls herself strong
minded aud he calls her headstrong.-
Detroit Free Press.
Ethel-'Are you making a collection
of souvenir spoons2" Jacl-"Well-er-
no, not exactly. But have the photo
graphs of all my old sweethearts. -
HouSekeeper'S IVeeiiy.
81 cannot imagine why you should
discourage him. He seems to be young
man of steady habits" "Yes, that is
so, mamma dear. And batchelorhood is
one of them, / think"
Jones-"There's something strange,
even suspicious, should say, about
those two women" Brown-"How's
thatl" Jones-"Why, each paid her
own fare. American Grocer.
1t is proposed in all seriousness to pre-
serve the dead by nickel plating. Should
this custom prevail the most plebeiau
of posterity will be able to point with
pride to their polished ancestors. -Hy'-
curry.
Visitor Qn Jones's room at II p. NJ
-"That young lady in the house across
the way sings like bird" Jones (un-
kindly)-"Well, rot altogether. You
see, bird stops singing at night. ."-De-
troh Free Press.
Jelby-"My dear, when lam dead aud
gone, l do hope you will not wrap your
self in crepes and other black things to
show your grief" Mrs. Jelby-"That's
just like you, forever domineering in all
things, even as to my attire after you
have ceased to trouble me. '-DshVu
Free Press,
The following incident occurred in a
Medford school: A class in grA mar was
reoiting, aud one Of the younge, boys
was asked TO compare "sicN." lie be-
gan, thoughtfully. "Sick," paused
while his BRAIN struggled with the prob
lem, then finished, triumphautly, "S.cS,
worse, dead. N-Blslr.