davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22

secondary consideration with them, i'm
pOrtant only because it facilitates get
ting Offices.
ibis is all really too bad, and it is no
wonder that the commission is not graft
fed at the results of its inquiries. Before
the postal clerks and deputy marshals
had been called and crosS-examined. Mr..
ROOSEVELT. as we'll as every one else,
supposed that their one thought III life
was the triumph of principle, and that,
as they Cancelled stamps or chased over
the swamps of Maryland after violators
of the whisky laws. they were cease
lessly animated by an ambition to do
something to further the cause of pro-
tectionism and the other great issues of
the Republican creed. 1t is a rude
shock to discover that, instead of this,
they are realIy'more interested in their
salaries and their mileage than any,
thing else. The civil service commits
Sioner is very much like the gentleman
who, while admitting that the chorus
girls in the show looked pretty, criti-
cised their faces as lacking real refine
ment and traces of the higher culture.
1t is certainly very unfortunate that
clerks can not be found for sixty dollars
a month VINO feel feverish over queS-
lions of principle, nor ladies of real re-
fnement and high culture to dance on
the stage in airy costumes for ten dol
lars a week.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
CIVIL SERVICE REFORM.

The United States civil service COM
mission has been investigating the fed
eral offices at Baltimore, and Com
missioner ROOSEVELT has made a report
to the president of the shameful condi-
ton of affairs there prevailing. The
Republican incumbents have held their
positions now for little over year,
and during this time, in spite of the
law to the contrary, there has been prac-
tically clean sweep of all the Democrats
who had found places under the CLEvE-
LAND regime. Mr.. ROOSEVELT is very
much depressed by the picture in gen.
eral, but particularly by the factional
fights which are waging among the local
Republicans themselves in the hope of
securing control of the spOils. He says
that the party at Baltimore is split into
two hostile camps, but as far as he can
make out ''there seems to be no question
of principle at stake at all, but one Of
offices merely" He reports that many
regard victory in the primaries as more
important than victory at the polls, be-
cause the former gives control Of the
party machinery and entities to recog-
milton in the distribution Of patronage,
and that party success is 3 purely
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
CATCHING COLLOQUIES.

Charlie" said Maude, papa doesn't
like you because he says your too eX-
travagant in your dress" "Well, just
tell your father | haven't paid tailor's
bill in two years." retorted Charlie
Truth.
WhyHe Stayed at Home Alone.-Stag
gers-You don't look well, Naggers.
Why don't you join your wife in the
country? Naggers-Because the doctor
says | must have rest and quiet.-Mun-
sey's Weekly.
A Convincing Proof.-Visitors ION
their way from the statiOn)-Are you
quite sure you can drive, Neddie? Mas
ter Neddie-Oh, yes, indeed. l turned
mamma out here only last week.
Brakes Magazine.
'Ah. play little before you go, pro-
fessor" Il would like to. Miss Emma,
but it's rather late and might disturb
the neghbOrS" ''Oh, don't bother
about the neighbors. Besides, they
poisoned our dog last week. File
gende Blatter.
A Days Outing.-First Sportsman
See here. old boy, that fish basket is ten
times too big. Well never catch that
full in the world. Second Sportsman
That is to carry the bottles in. l have
Inc HSu UdShSt III lily POCAOI.- Uoou
| News.
Mrs. De Mover-Sakes alive! This is
the noisiest ueighborhood l ever got
into. Just hear those children screech.
Mald-They're your own children, mum.
Mrs. De Mover-Are they? How the
little darings are enjoying themselves.
New York Weekly.
Says Miss A Miss B. is pretty, no.
body can deny that; but then she's
perfect ninny. She absolutely knows
nothing. Says Miss B.-Miss A. is
bright enough and knows enough; but,
Lord what fright she is to look at !
And each lady feels quite satisfied with
herself-or makes herself think she
dOes.-BostOn Transcript.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
THE SPOONY MARRIED MAN.

George Z. Devyr in Puck.
IT'S mostly trifles in this world that make our
sum of woe,
sort of moral insect tribe that sting
Where'er we go;
But of all the plaques devised to mar the
great terrestrial plan.
1 think the biggest nuisance is the spoony
married man,
With his
'Petsie. itsie darling, place 90 hand in mine.
Round 90 little dainty waist arm nm twinum
twine;
Round 90 huggen huzzens, while UNI smooye
UNI turls,
Don't be tross and fretful now, 90 baddest
title dirls!'
Jew once had an enemy who kepta big
hotel
Down where the waters green and cool in
crested pillows swell.
He sought revenge. but much despised all
common modes OF strife;
He simply sent as boarders there spoony
man and wife.
,eItsie bitsie wild bird, pining for its mate,
Bad tunduetor stopum train, make UNI nus
band late.
Brought um's dress and bonbons, Cinderella's
s'Oos,
Birdie nest on dear ones breast WnlIe um
I tell um news.
FuIl soon the boarders left the stoop, and
Each morn revealed a jostling line of town.
. bound travelling bags;
They pleaded business, flood and fire, ship
wreck and loss of life,
But no one breathed word about the spoony
man and wife.
The landlord wildly paced the beach and
gazed upon the surf.
He thought of money rashly spent or
dropped upon the turf;
sBut what has ever brought me this?n he
cried in wild despair,
When suddenly he came upon this spoony
married pair.
1t was
"Tootsie wootsie dum-drop, title huzzen's
tum.
Don't 90 pout so naughty, don't 90 bite 90
thumb.
ownest tried to get here sooner than him
am,
Muzzers bird of brides and dear ones pet
test lamb
The landlord ragged and stamped and swore,
his passion knew no bounds;
He babe the man. with one wild roar, to quit
his house and grounds;
He fred his baggage in the sand and chased
him with knife,
And now contests lawsuit with the spoony
-an and wife.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.

Lady Burton says of her destruction
of her husbands last manuscript that
she does not regret what she has done,
but that she would always regret having
confessed it.
Miss Susan M. Dunklee has just re-
signed the treasurerership of the New
ton (Mass.) bank, position which she
has filled for seventeen years without
having once to justify herself before
the board of errors.
The Duke of Cleveland, whose title
becomes extinct upon his approaching
death, is descended from Sir Henry
Vane, who was knighted at Poictiers in
1856, and numbers among his ancestors
Sir Henry Vane, principal secretary of
state under Charles L.
Henry Campbell Mr.. ParnelPs pri-
vate secretary. appears to be the great
est gamer by the downfall of his chief.
He has recovered $1,000 by four libel
aatiops Grnwing out Of the scandal.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
THE BARGAIN COUNTER.

"Men are not born free in this coun-
try" said Willie. There amt no worse
bulldOZed slave in creation than my
baby brother"
White-Is that new dog of Browns a
beagle?
Green-I don't know. I'm sure; judy
ing from its midnight execution should
say it was bugle.
Ibid you tell that man I'd gone to San
Francisco, as l told you to, James?'
Yes, sir. | told him you started this
morning." -
That's good boy. And what did
he say?"
"He wanted to know when you'd be
back, and l told him after lunch,' ST."
Il like this dress very much" said
Ethel. at is just too delightfully."- tight.
But where are the pocEets?"
Here they are" said the dreSSmaker.
handing her two small Silken bags.
You'll have to carry them in your
hands. There's not room ia the dress
for them"
''How do you like my new suit, Maria?
All wool and yard wide, eh?'' said old
Binks.
Yes, that's the trouble" returned
Mrs. 3. Its a yard wide, and you
amt more than tWenty-four inches
acroSt.''
''1hey say Prof. Barklins' address
before the DOrcas society was not we'll
received"
"Well, why should it have been9 The
idea of his addressing lot of old
maids as My venerable friendsp"
Papa" said Willie, as they sailed
down to Staten island, ''do sea horses
come from the sea-"
Yes, my son."
And do the bay horses all come from
the bay?''
''She waved her umbrella and caught
his eye," said Hawkins.
Did it put the eye out?" said Smith
erS. who had seen women waving UNI
brellas before.
Mrs. Bloobumper Indicating pas
ser-by)-That man is dressed to kill.
BloObumber neutrality-suspicious. dis
cernment you have, my dear! That is
DR.. Paresis, out making professional
calls.
How many brothers have you, VIII
Iie?''
Two, sir, countIn' me-"
you'll drive me into my grave with
your demands for money!" said old
Sleek.
'Then you'll have to give me $3.50
more, "said Mrs. Sleek, because mourn
ing goods are very expensive"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
A MATTER OF BUSINESS.

The Bohemian ideal is an embodiment
that has no thought of self when scoop
is to be made on another sheet in its i'm
mediate sphere. No adventure is for
bidding, and personal peril is but an in
element. Reporters go up in balloons,
and would take in the other planets if
the craft could be made to 20 so far.
But one instance is on record where, at
the approach of fatal disaster, they
failed to indicate their experiences be-
fore the expiring moment sufficiently to
work the scoop. Considerable excuse
was found in that case because the bal
loon fell in the middle of the lake at
night. There were no specially thrill
ing features to the one worked for the
New York Herald the other day, but it
illustrated the role, ami, perhaps. did
some service and gave encouragement
to humane sacrifice in the line now in
vogue. An old woman had been badly
scalded, and the surgeon of the hospital
wanted to use the grating process; but
a good deal of cuticle WAS required, and
it was not readily obtained, perhaps not
SO readily as if she had been young and
pretty. The difficulty becoming known,
three young Herald reporters were at
once assigned to the duty. or perhaps
responded to the call for volunteers.
Each had twenty-seyen pieces of skin
taken from the left arm to cover the
scald upon the hip Of senility, and tn
grating was success. The reporters
recorded their sensations and expert
ences, and gave minute account of the
operation. thus securing for their paper
a phase of human activity not portrayed
in a similar way before. 1t was clever
bit of newspaper enterprise. On the
part of the reporters it was business,
simply, with no heroics. 1t does not
appear that the removal of the cuticle
in the little pieces is 80 severely pain
full as presumed. The anticipation is
far the worst. Two instruments are
used-a steel one called a tenaculum, to
lift the skin, and the other a curved
pair of dressing scissors. THE inser
ton of the tenaculum does not bother
one" says the account, "but when the
scissors are applied the Sc nsation is
that of burning"
1t is not related that the young men
claimed any relationship to the bene-
fciary due to their contribution. 1t
was an incident of their vocation only.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
THE NEW ULNi MONUMENT

a distinguished party left st. Paul for
New Ulm last night, and, if the sun
shines bright, the cere monies at the I'M
yelling of the monument there to-day
VIII be an event long TO be remembered
in the history Of the state. The rewards
of bravery are the remembrance and
gratitude of pOsterity, and a shaft
reared to heaven recalling victories won
in the times which are past at once pays
debt to the heroes whom it honOrs
and is an incentive to noble deeds
in those who may hereafter view and
ponder over it. Pensions and pecuni-
airy compensation are justly due those
who gave their sire myth and time to
their country in its hour of need, but
such things pass away with the men
who receive them, and if soldiers could
count on nothing more permanent than
this, their returns would be 10 greater
than, are those which are. won in
the peaceful walks of traffic prose
cuted without hazard, hardship or
self-denial. But, fortunately, all civ
iliZed states have united in rearing
monuments as dumb testimony of
their gratitude to the men who
have fought for their safety and
progress on the battle field, and all civ
iliZed peoples have honored with story
and Oft-reLeated traditions the achieve
ments Of their heroes. These rewards
are the sure heritage of such men, and,
though their expression may be long
delayed, it is certain sooner or later to
be made. The defenders of New UIm
are OF Minnesota's heroes, and it is a
good thing for the commonwealth that a
mark is to be placed at the spot where
they fought to keep alive their memory
for the years which are to come.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
When"

Youths Companion.
Most people who read paper would
like to have it come to their hands with
out any typographical or editorial errors.
This is quite possible, according to d
contemporary, when all the following
conditions come together:
l. When the contributor has written
correctly.
2. When he has written the correct
thing distinctly.
3. When the compositor has only the
correct letters IN the different cases.
4. When he does not take letters
from wrong case.
5. When he sets them correctly.
6. When the reader corrects every
error.
Z. When the compositor corrects til
trough proof properly.
s. When the reader" reads the cor
rected proof attentively.
9. When the compOsitor corrects the
second proof properly.
10. When the revised proof is care
fully ''read."
Ii. When the ''reader" has sufficient
time to do this.
u. And when a dozen other circum-
stances work together for good.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
THE LAST SPECTATOR.
I declare that I will never

Ideclare that Will never
Go to any game whatever,
And it will not make di ference what you
say
l will never even linger
While you snap your thumb and finger
To ask which way the score came out to-day
Oh, hate the noisy bleachers,
Who insist on being teachers
To any one who takes the ball to play
How at each adverse decision
They howl with loud derison
And declare it ought to so the other way.
And it really is a terror
To see error piled OIL error
1t makes me wish to see a happier land.
Now watch that slide to second
You were slower than you reckOned,
You may go and hunt the bench beneath the
stand.
Then the next one hits so wildly
That the BALTIC put it mildly
SKINS the clouds that fleck the bright anf
azure sky.
But the center fielder, stopping
just to mark the way Ills dropping,
Goes and gathers in another little fly.
well, It's really no use signing,
And although my hopes are dying,
Perhaps TO win the game it's not too late
But the pitcher gently rising.
With a force that's most surprising
Another strike sends whi2zing o'er the plate
And now the game is ended,
But matters are not mended.
The other club outplayed our club by far,
And I've bust my last new collar,
And I've lost my only dollar,
And really can't afford TO take car.
And it does seem quite unending,
AS your homeward way you're vending
How each one asks to know the siekenine
score.
Yet you have to answer, smiling.
Although they know It's ''riling"
we lost the game by only six 10 four"
Why. any club can beat us,
Can easily defeat us,
No, never will see another game
But It's pretty even betting
That before the next suns setting
I'll lie hnwliug with the bleacherS inst the
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
THE GLASS TRuST.

The foundation of trusts is the legiti-
mate sequence of the MCKINLEY tariff,
although that is not view always ad-
United by them. 1t will be remembered
that, while the bill was under discussion
in the senate, a strong point was made
in opposition, with respect to specific
industrial lines. One OF these was on
the glass schedule. Leading Demo-
Gratis, especially Senators MCPHERSON,
of New Jersey, and BUTLER. of South
Carolina, insisted that the increased
duties on glassware would lead to the
foundation of combination or trust to
control prices and the manufacture.
The duty on table and lamp glassware
was 45 per cent, as provided in the
tariff of 1888. More protection was
urged as needful, and this need
was greatly invigorated by the
fact that the glass works were very
largely in MCKINLEY's district. 1t was
intimated that the movement was al
ready inaugUrated for the formation of
trust among the manufacturers. This
was denied by the supporters of the
bill with some affectation of indigna-
ton. The protection was increased
from 40 to 60 per cent directly, and viz
tually to 20 to so, as the allowances for
broken and damaged packages were
discontinued. That trust or arrange
ment to prevent competition in their
mOnOpOlistic possession OF the home sit
uaiiOn should follow was as natural as
1t is for men to improve a special oppor-
tunity afforded them. Within the past
few weeks this has developed into pub
lie view. The United States Glass
company has taken into its nav thirteen
OF the large glass corporations of Ohio,
Pennsylvania and West Virginia, and
intends to control the glass business of
the country. The publication devoted
TO that branch of industry SAYS that the
movement has been kept from the pub
lie as far as possible, but is now fully
matuTed. 1t graciousIy adds that sit IS
not the intention of the new company
to increase prices" That is a very
familiar line of remark. 1t is not re-
membered just now that it has been
omitted in the formation of any of the
combinations. The aim is to simplify
methods, regulate the output and bene-
fit the stockholders. 1t is immaterial
for present purposes whether this
represents the scope of the COM
binatiOn, be 1t trust or what
not. 1t gives a black eye to the as
sumption of protection that it stimu-
lates competition among home pro-
ducers and consequent cheaDening in
prices. All the glass works combine to
defeat the alleged aim of the protective
policy to promote domestic competition.
and it is immaterial what name is an
piled to it. Protection naturally leads
10 monopoly. and the meeting of con-
sumers for the benefit Of the manu-
facturers under its egis.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22

teracted by a sort of incubation. 1t
may be illogical and unphilosophical,
but If is a matter of evidence and eX-
perience. The thirst for liquor is con-
verted to new taste or expelled. Of
this there is no doubt. 1t is in
sisted that out of many thousands
operated upon there is hardly an eXcep-
ton to this statement, but the party can
revive or re-create the old taste by the
exercise of perverse disposition. The
infusion will not rebuild lost manhood
without the cooperation of the mind.
Drunkenness is very largely due to the
fact that the stimulant magnilies the
personality. The ego is above the clouds
of life and expands into an important
body. There is then room for the in
vigoration of the moral nature, and the
lack of strength in this quarter causes
the lapse of ) or per cent of those that
are treated. But it is pretty fair sort
of medication of a serious disease that
TeScuPS % per cent.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-08-22
HAND BALL IN ST. PAUL.

Ball playing in some form has been an
an amusement and means of exercise that
has been INDUCED in by al most every nation
since the early days of Olympian games in
Grecian and Roman amphitheaters. Eng
land had its football, Ireland hand ball and
America base ball, and all other nations have
ball games i'll one way another. Football
and base ball have both been thoroughly in
troduced in this city, but the game of hand
ball has seldom been played. except in one
or two Of the engine houses. Since st. Paul
has lost its ball club quite number of young
men have been discussing the ACCESSIBILITY of
forming hand bail club, which, being an
indoor and purely gentieman's game, will
give them an opportunity not only to enjoy
themselves, but gain form OF exercise
which will prove beneficial to their health
and not take up much OF their time.
SIS
There are quite number of profcients in
st. Paul in the art of hand bal, am ong whom
Pat Egan is champion, but each and every
one of the following claims he can give him
close hustle if the opportunity occurs.
j. j. Ahern is almost willing to claim equal
skill with the custodian, ard NJ. Mullane, Jim
MITCHELL D. Duncan, John O'Donnell and
William Delaney merely want a chance to
show their skill.
SIS
Yesterday afternoon a meeting composed
of most of the above-named gentlemen and
several influential citizens appointed a COM
mittee 10 secure suitable quarters some where
between Wabasha and Jackson streets which
could be used or SO altered as to form a
headquarters, and also make arrangements to
form permanent club.
SIS
The fascination of the game of hand ball
is said by those who have seen and played it
to be remarkable, and once witnessed one
will be unable to resist the temptation to
play, while the beneficial effects from the
standpoint of healthfui exercise, without
any dangers connected with it, are almost
unlimited. The formation of the club is in
the hands of business men who need some
form of exercise that is not TOO violent will
not take up too much time. but at the same
time bring every muscle of the body into
play, and they think the st. Paul Hand Ball
club will be the proper medium.
SIS
The manner CT playing the game may not
be familiar to many, but is very simple and
can be learned in less than five minutes.
thus barring no one, as no particular qualif-
cations are required. The ball by hand is bat
ted.against the wall and the opponent is sup
posed to catch 1t either on the fly or first
bound, the batter being compelled to give
the right away to his opponent. The skill of
the game depends merely on the deception
or thickness of the batter. who. while appar-
emily batting iii one direction, by quick
and hardly noticeable move of the hand viii
drive it the other way. The ball in turn. is
taken by the opponent and the same modu-
Operandi is repeated.