davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
NEWSPAPER HUMOR.

-Binghampton Republican: The
bow-!egged man has the bulge on the
bicycle.
Lowell Courier: The man who
has a "pulr' is probably a molasses-
candy maker.
-Elmira Gazette: The clerk who
had been stealing for a long time
finally got it.
-Binghamton Republicans We
imagine that a grizzly must have q
bearytone voice.
-Elmira Gazette: Venison is
sometimes deer at any price, but
oftener it isn't.
Detroit Free Press: A man at q
summer hotel always speaks of his bill
in the highest terms.
Toledo Blade: II an American
girl cannot be an actress, she can take
one step lower and become q countess.
Dallas News: One trouble with
this count y is equator sovereignty
There are too many sovereigus squat
ting AROUND doing nothing.
Galveston News: Education is
all right, just so it does not leave the
victim too smart to work and not
smart enough to get along without.
Washington Post: Students of
Horticulture have placed eyeglasses
among the por-l-. .o.s gao in Bos-
ton.
Rams Horn: When it comes to
housekeeping there is only here and
there q man who seems to be truly
religious.
-Atchison Globe: Though there
are billions of people in the world,
every mans happiness depends on
how two or three treat him.
philadelphia Times Yard says
Le1l make everything clear concern.
ing himself. In other words, in his
opinion he'll turn out square Yard.
New Dreams Picayune: The
modus vivendi for sealing up the seal
fisheries having been published, the
modus operandi Of doing it may be
expected soon.
philadelphia Times The idea of
the medical students capturing ne.
groes for diseeciing purposes has its
real origin in the fact that the lively
students cut up 50 much.
Philadelphia Ledger: The rumor
that q reign Of terror exists in Hayti
is copied with the statement that Pres.
ident Hippolyte Of that country has
taken to playing the flute.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

This is q cold snap said the
CLANCY girl, as she partook Of the ice
cream.
"A man does not have to be re-
markably generous to give another
man away.
How to Prevent Trousers Bag
gipg at the Knee-Alwsys get up and
give the lady your seat.
DO not trust the man who praises
you effusively when you have just
answered his pet conundrum. Nine
times out of ten he is hypocrite.
Who says there is discord in the
presidents cabinet? "Uncle' Jerry
Rusk thinks that Mr.. Harrison
should be renominated, and the presi-
dent holds precisely the same views.
1.-THE devil is not a success !" de-
clares a Missouri rivalist. We hope
that this is true, but we trust that We
shall not be regarded as profane if We
ask where in hell can his equal be
found?
June lie herself again, radiant end
winsome. Perhaps she will remlin in
her present mood, perhaps not. She
is hayward. 1t is very much to be
regretted that June is so like the
other girls.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
A NATIONAL EVENT.

The holding of the Worlds Fair in .
city scarcely fifty years old will be re.
msrkable event, but whether it will really
benefit this nation a. m 1ch as the discov-
cry of the Restorative Nervine BY DR..
frankie Miles is doubtful. This Is lust
what the American people need to cure
their excessive nervousness, dyspepsia,
headache, dizziness. sleeplessness, neural-
gia, nervous debility, dullness, confusion
of mind, etc. 1t acts like . charm. Trial
bottles and 6ue book on "Nervous and
Heart Diseases" with unequsled testimo-
mails. free at A. 7. Fleischman's. Il il
warranted to contain no opium, morphine
or dangerous drugs.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
Children CIV for
Pitchers castoria.
Improvements in Rolled Steel.

A protracted series of experiments
made at Siemens' works, in England,
with the new process Of manufacturing
steel tubes, show conclusively, it is
claimed, Q remarkable adaptation of
the system 10 the manufacture of pipes
fjr the c,nveyance of water, gas and
air at high pressure, the manufacture
of steam boilers, boiler tubes, and
especially for bridge construction,
- -r:-c, en- tho Eohs~nse ara strength Of
the tubes of comparatively thin steel,
and which, it is believed, will enable
the engineer Of the future to consider.
able increase the span Of bridges.
The simple as well as remarkable
popularity of this process of shaping
metals consists in the fact that, instead
of avoiding any twist of the 6bers, it
by one operation gives the greatest pos.
sible twiet to the fiber with a CORES
ponding stretch Of material. It more
over may, assisted by a mandrel, in.
crease the outer diameter of bar, in
stead of diminishing it, as do all other
rolling mills, but the tube produced
by this new method isgenerally great
er in diameter than the bar from
which it is formed, and thus combining
as it does, all the various systems Of
rolling, it is claimed to possess the
advantage of construction in which
all hitherto known rolling processes
represent part. New York Sun.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
RAMS HORNETS.
-Millionaires have no friends.

-Millionaires have no friends.
"A dog without teeth very often
does the most barking.
Temperance is Lride who al.
ways makes her husband rich.
As soon as q man quits work the
devil begins to talk with him.
Apples always look nice in the
orchard that has a high fence around
it.
There is nothing of which man
is so much afraid as he is Of the truth.
No one ever did a great thing
for God who did not begin BY doing
little ones.
The hand that gives pleasure to
a child does something that is noticed
in heaven.
The man who is unfaithful with
one talent wouldn't do any better
with 10000.
If you profess to be a Christian,
be one all over. Don't be a stool
pigeon for the devil.
Every mau on earth who is not
on his way to heaven is leading some.
body else toward the pit.
The devil doesn't know what to
do with o man who will b.hsve him.
self when he isn't watched.
The man who goes around com
pairing himself to other people, to
their. disadvantage, is in small bust.
ness.
There would be more revivals in
the church If the devil never got 9
chance to 60 into the pulpit with the
preacher.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
NOW TRY THIS,

1t will cost you nothing and will surely
do you good. il you have Cough, Cold. or
any trouble With Throat. Chest Or Lungs.
Dr.. Kings New Discovery for ConsumP-
ton, Coughs and Colds Is guaranteed to
give relief, or money will be pa d back.
Sufferers from La Grippe found it just the
thing and under its use had . speedy and
perfect recovery. Try sample bottle At
our expense and learn for yourself just
how good . thing il 10. Trial bottles free
ct Merits & Hale's Drug Store. Large size
Soc and Sl.OO
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.

Minister Douglass appears to
have borrowed good deal Of trouble
in that Mole St. Nicholas affair.
Marriage will not prevent Mrs.
Ohyiesa from pur.iouxing the literary
work in which, as Elaine Goodale,
she hid begun to mske a name for
herself.
The Prince of Wales is an i'm
posing figure in uniform, though he
is seen at his best in evening dress.
Of late years his physique has grown
so bulky that he avoids putting on
uniform unless the occasion absolutely
demands it.
Fort Sherman, the new army
post on the outskirts of Chicago, is in
command of Col. Robert F.. A. Crof.
ton, of the Fifteenth Infantry. He is
a fine looking man of IS, with a so.-
dier's figure and a soldiers record. He
10 an Irishman by birth and in his
younger days he held commission in
the British army.
The Haytian General, Hip.
polyte, is about sixty years of age and
Of coal. black complexion. He is the
political idol Of the pure blacks,
whose blood has not been contami.
mated by intermarriage with the
creoles. He is the son of a college
professor OF Port an Prince, and is q
man of considerable learning and cul-.
tiva:ion.
The betrothal of Mile. de Rohsn
Chabot, daughter of the Princesse de
Lion to the young Due de Montmor-
ercy, is an event n a French ro-
nance of the true Montague. Capulet
order. The young peoples parents
have been hereditary enemies for sew
ersl genera ions back, but apparently
love is a plant Of too hardy a growth
to wither even under the baleful in.
fluences Of family rod.
1t was the O'Gorman Mahon. the
fine old Irish gentleman whose death
duced Parnell to Mrs. Us neu. II.
was q man of extreme punctiliousness
where matters Of honor were concern
ed, and when the scandal became
public it was believed that he would
challenge the uncrowned king to a
duel. Had the meeting been brought
about it would have been the seven
teenth affair of honor that The O'Gor-
man had taken part in.
The wife of Gov. Campbell is one
of the shrewdest politicians in Ohio.
She is, besides, q woman Of extraor-
binary tact and 60 free from snobbish.
ness and ostentstion that che has made
many an Influential friend for her hus-
band. At the time the governor was
. member of ccngre,s Mrs. Campbell
became very popular in fashionable
Washington society, but no visitor
from Ohio was ever too uncouth or
awkward to receive a warm welcome
from her.
The inheritance of great wealth
has not destroyed young Adam Fore
paugh's love for the glitter and
spangles of the circus. Though his
income is now greater than the Presi.
dents salary, the son Of the great
Snowman dous his pink tights at every
performance and rides in the hurdle
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30
MACHINE SHOPS.

DeseFs machinery
d. Speeso ee1ee1
- oS5eS ~ Deu EARanolo1 rings
betting
etoewak mining Of
BARLEY BROS % GO. ses.,,. II. 4,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30

race with all the interest Of ten dol
lar.a.week supe. Young Forepaugh
is 80 years old and built like an
athlete. He has had something to do
about circus ring since he was boy
of.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30

When Baby was sick, We gave her castoria.
When she Was Child, she cried for Castoria-
When she became Miss, she chung to castoria-
When she bad Children, she gave them CsstoriA.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30

Toronto Mail: Jumpuppe-
confound those thoesophists. Jasper
.-Whyi Jumpuppe-TLey have
convinced my wife that che has seven
bodies, and she went of and bought
a dress for each one.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1891-06-30

New Plan! Low Rates
- aTm Nominal comnision! In.
terest yesrlsI You fix
time Of payment.
AOa,nS Loans made BY 2, 8, s, z,
or 10 yean. Pay when
- you please and stop interest.
Best terms ever offered in Central Missouri,
See me before borrowing. F. HOUSTON,
37wu Sedalia, No.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
The Pulpit andthe Stage.

Rev. F. NJ. Shrout, Pastor United
Brethren hurch, Blue Mound, Kan,
says: ''l feel it myduty to tell what
wonders DIR. King 'sNew Discovery has
done for me, My Lungs were badly
diseased, and my parishioners thought
could live only few weeks. 1 took
five bottles of DIR. Kings New Discov-
cry and am sound and well, gaining 26
lbs, in weight
Arthur Love, Manager Loves Funny
Folks Combination, writes: s'After a
thorough trial and convincing evidence
am confident DR.. Kings New Discov-
cry for onsum ption, beats 'em all,
and cures when everything else fails.
The greatest kindness can do my
many thousand friends is to urge them
to try ito Free trial bottles at g. w.
Bickford's drug store. Regular size
SOC and $1.00.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
Fine Playing Cards

Send ten QO) cents in stamps or
coin to John Sebastian, Gen'l Tkt
and Pass. Ag't Chicago, Rock Island
& Pacific Ry., for pack of the latest,
smoothest, slickest playing cards that
ever gladdened the eyes and rippled
along the fingers of the devotee to
Might've, Seven-Up, Casino, Dutch,
Euchre, Whist or any other ancient
or modern game, and get your mon
ey's worth five times over. If
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
A Question Answered

What is a Pullman tourist sleeper
1t is a comfortable sleeping car,
with expensive upholstering.
Mattresses, bedding and curtains;
handy lunch tables; and necessary
toilet articles, are all there.
Everything is kept clean and tidy
by competent porter.
The Santa Fe Route uses Pullman
tourist cars on its line to Pacific Coast.
A pretty little folder, describing in
detail the many advantages of travel
ing IN tourist sleepers can be had by
addressing g. T. Nicholson, G. p. &
Z. A, Topeka, Kansas. ian22- 3m
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
Is Consumption Inourab,e

Read the following: Mr.. oh. Nor
RS, Newark, Ark. says: "Was down
with Abscess of the Lungs. and friends
and physicians pronounced me an in
durable consumptive. Began taking
Dr. Kings New Discovery for consump-
toDs am now on my third bottle and
able to oversee the work on nv -
~ e the finest medicine ever msde ;, IL
Jesse 'MIddlewart, Decatur ~.
says; "Had 1t not been for DR.. Kin i'm.
new discovery for consumntion
would have died of lung troubIes W
gwen up oy doctors. Am now in rs
OF health" Try it. SamnIe hottS Gse
nee at a. w. Rickford's drug store e'''eS
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
First publication, Dec. %, 1890. -5w.
Case Number 1947.
Sherifs Sale.

STATE OF KANSAS
Phillips County. Be-
In the District Court of Phillips county:
Albert G. Burnham, Lysander W. Tulleys and
James n. Brown, co-partners as Burnham, Tul-
leys q Company, plaintiffs,
VS..
John G. Bierman, Harriet Bierman, Sarah E.
Graham, The Security Company of Hartford,
Conn., defendants.
Public notice is hereby given that under and by
virtue OF judgment rendered in the above en-
titled cause in favor of the plaintiffs and also
Judgment rendered in same cause in favor of the
Security Company of Hartford, Connecticut,
and of the decree rendered in said cause
in and by the above named court and of an
order of sale issued on said judgments and de-
cree. TO me directed and delivered, will on Wed
nesday. January %. 1884, at the hour of 2 o'clock
P NJ. OF said day, at the east door of the court
house IN Phillipsburg, in the county of Phillips
state OF Kansas offer at public sale and sell to
the highest bidder for cash in hand. the following
described real property, namely: The southeast
quarter OF section seventeen 90, township %,
south OF range eighteen 18). west of the 9th prin
cipal meridian, all in the county of Phillips, state
of Kansas.
Said property has been levied upon and is to be
sold as the property Of the above named defend
ants, John G. Bierman and Harriet Bierman.
and the proceeds of the sale to be applied in pay
ment of the above described Judgments accord
ing to their priority, as found by said decree =
Dated this oath day of December, A D. 1890.
LEE SCRIVNKR
Sheriff of Phillips county
Breckenridge, Breckenridge & Crofoot, At
torneys for plaintiff.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
UnIon Paclao Robberiaa

Jay Gould has ruled the Rock Is
land out of crossing the Omaha bridge
and says that the Union Pacific had
no right to lease the bridge. In re-
ply the Rock Island authorities state
that while Gould was a director of
the Union Pacific it leased 400 miles
of its track to another road, the Mis-
souri, Pacific, which Gould owned,
and the contract is still in force. The
remarkable thing about that lease is
that the Union Pacific keeps the 400
miles of road in repair and gets not
cent from Jay Gould's Missouri Pa
cific for the use of the rented road.
This steal from one road to aid an
other would not be so Objectionable
were it not for the Objectionable were
it not for the very pointed, pertinent
and important fact that the United
States is security for the Union Pa
cific bonds, and as the managers of
the road claim that it does not pay
expenses Uncle Sam has paid out
about $6O,OOO,OOO for it. Under these
circumstances is that lease of 400
miles of Union Pacific track anything
but robbery of the United States?
The statement on which the above re-
marks are made comes from Judge
Withrow and is published in the
Omaha Bee. The management of the
Union Pacific has been outrageously
rotten, and a government that will
will permit its people to be thus rob-
bed cannot stand. We have come 10
a point in our progress where reform
or anarchy is inevltable.-iSt Joseph
Herald.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

HE scientific AAIERICAN.-No pub
LEGATION comes to our table that is
more highly priced than this old. sub
stantial journal Aside from keepinp
the public fully posted respecting
new inventions and scientific develop-
ments, it contains a vast amount of
the practical and useful. The en-
cravings are of remarkably high or
der. and matter accompanying them
IS so tersely put that such subject as
might, under ordinary circumstances.
be considered dry and heavy. are not
only readable, but highly enjoyable.
1t IS the best conducted scientific
journal in the o. S. as well as being
geographically the handsomest Its
circulation is larger than all the 9th
ers OF its class combined. Subscrip-
ton price, 50 per annum. Mum &
Co, 36l Broadway, New York.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
Take a Daily Paper.

Take the Daily Capital of Topeka
three next three months and get the
proceedings of the Legislature in
full. Any person who pays what he
owes for the HERALD, and then gives
us $3.50 cash, we will send them the
HERALD one year and the Daily Cap
itdL months. New subscribers for
the Daily Capital alone $1.75 for 3
months.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
First publication, Dec. 25, 1s9O-5w.
Sheriff's Sale.

STATE OF KANSAS, Case No
Phillips County. Be- 1913
In the District Court of Phillips county:
Albert G. Burnham, Lysander W TuIlevs. and
James n. Brown, co-partners as Burnham, Tul-
leys Company, plaintiff,
Amandus c. Mende, Martha L Mende. William
I. Mende, and L. W. Tulleys, trustee. defend
ants
Public notice is hereby given, that under. and
by virtue of Judgment rendered in the above en-
titled cause in favor of the plaintiffs and also q
judgment rendered IN same ca9se in favor of one
l., w Tulleye. trustee. one of the defendants, on
MS Cross petition and of the decree rendered in
said canse IN and by the above named Court and
OF an order OF sale issued on said judgments and
decree 10 me directed and delivered, l Will on
W Wednesday, January 2Sth. 1891, at the hour of 2
O'Clock, p. m, of said day, at the east door of
the Court House, in Phillipsbnrg. in the county
OF phillips, State of Kansas offer at public sale
and sell TO the highest bidder for cash in hand
the following described real property, namely:
Inc west half OF the southeast quarter of section
tWenty-three OBJ. in township one lIl, south of
range eighteen (18l west of the 9Th principal mer-
olan, all IN the county Of Phillips. State of Kan
Said property has been levied upon and is tn
oe sold as the property of the above named de-
tendantss' Amandus C.. Mende and Martha T.
Mende. and the proceeds of the sale to be an
PIleo IN payment of the above described iudg-
ments. according to their priority, as found by
Dated this 24th day of December, A. D. 1880.
LEE SCRIVNER,
Sheriff of Phillips county
breckenrldge, breckenridge & Crofoot, At
tor plaintiffs.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

that the printer should do his pub
lie services at a loss than the vari-
GUS township, county. and state Off
GERS should discharge their official
duties at loss. Again there Is just
as good reasons why the Treasurer
or Clerk or other county officer should
have his Office in some far away cor
ner of the county as that the official
paper should be located there and the
county printing done there.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

A GREAT excitement has reigned in
western banking circles the past week
by reason of the failure of the Ameri-
can National Bank of Kansas CITY.
Their liabilities are estimated at 81
100000. Several Kansas banks have
suspended in consequence of the Kan
sas City failure, one at Downs. one at
Glen Elder, one at Cawker City, one
at Clyde and other points. Phillips
burg Banks, fortunately, were not
hurt any. or if SO very slightly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

Mr.. WAGGONER, our representative
IN the Legislature, one day last week
called up the senate resolution which
authorizes the state to supply coal
from the state penitentiary coal mine
to the destitute settlers Of western
Kansas. He said that this was a mat
ter of great Importance to the people
IN his section and he hoped that i'm
mediate action would be taken.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

MANY years practice have given G.
A Snow & Co., Solicitors of Patents,
at Washington, D. c., unsurpassed
success in obtaining patents for all
classes of invention. They make
speciality of rejected cases, and have
secured allowance of many patents
that had been previously rejected.
Their advertisement will be of inter-
terest to inventors, patentees. manu-
facturers, and all who have to do with
patents. r.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

The election of United States SEN
ator to succeed John j. Ingalls, takes
place next Tuesday. A prediction as
to who may be the fortunate man
would be mere suess-work. It is
pretty certain that there is no show
whatever for Ingalls,.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

SENATOR INGALLS, "out Heroded,
Herod" in his late speech in advocat-
ing the measures the Alliance wants
pushed through. He ought to have
espoused these things sooner.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

The new Board of County Com
missioners of Mitchell county, two of
them being Alliance men, let the
county printing of that county to two
papers at half legal rates or fifty per
cent of the price allowed by law.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

The Alliance Legislature bids fair
to pass some good wholesome laws.
We are not of the number who would
ridicule the Farmer Legislature. 1t
is a body of sensible and practical
men who are earnest IN working for
reform.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
CLUBBING RATES.

Phillipsburg Herald and Topeka Weekly -
Capital. one year --.-------- Sl-Ou
hS yeaq. ana "eeAiy nAns4s ny '' lbs
Herald one year, and daily Kansas City
Star. three months, ----..------ ~-Oe
Herald and weekly Leayenworth Times,
one year. -. ---------- I---
Herald and daily LeavenWorth Times, one -
year. N-S0
Herald. one year, and LeavenWorth Times 20
Head and AIIiance Advocate. one year.. 1.75
Herald and Cottage Hearth, ..---.-.--.- LOU
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

E. H. Snow, of Ottawa, Kansas, was
elected State Printer for Kansas yes
terday.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

The free coinage of silver bill has
passed the United States Senate and
will probably pass in the House.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22

KING KALAKAUA, of the Hawaiian
Islands, while visiting at San Fran
cisco died few days ago.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1891-01-22
GOOD
NEWS
FROM BOSTON.

TNHE COTTAGE HEARTH is
L the best family magazine pub
lished, and we have made such ar
engagements that we can offer a years
subscription to it to any subscriber to
our paper.
The COTTAGE HEARTH is a
large 32-page, beautifully illustrated
magazine, with ten departments
crowded full of bright stories, music,
fancy work, fashions, receipts, and
prize puzzles for children, with an
elegant