davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
SANS PHILOSOPHY.
He and Kate Married Because They Found
Themselves so Old and Poor.

He and Kate Married Because They Found
Themselves so Old and Poor.
Half dozen men We're discussing the
problem of marriage in the cafe of the
Southern society one evening.
"These young New Workers make me
very weary" said Kentucky colonel.
s'Imean these young fellows Who, though
in receipt of good incomes, spend ali
their money in tomfoolery, and then say
they can't afford to marry"
az agree with you, colonel" said a
Maryland gentleman from Princess Anne
county. "If man wants to marry he
never reckons the cost. am reminded
of a story of our two old house servants.
They had both been in our family for
years. When the emancipation procla-
nation was signed we told them that
they were free. We sympathized with
the north during the war, you know.
"We could scarcely drive them away
with club, however. They had been
born and reared on the place. Sam had
lost his wife. He was eighty years of
age. Old Kate was our nanny She
was sixty or seventy. Her husband was
killed duck shooting dozen years be-
fore the war. 1t was great blow to the
old people whenw told them they would
have to go. They did not want to leave
us and hustle for themselves, but we
could i'll afford to keep them at that
time. 1t was particularly hard for the
old nanny She thought we children
all belonged to her.
"Finally we compromised the matter
and let old Kate have the use of one of
the cabins and work on the place. Sam
went to livein little shanty in the town
a mile or two away. Kate did washing
and Sam did washing too, whenever he
could get a notwithstanding l mean.
"We were astonished one day at hear
ing that these old creatures, each with
one foot in the grave, had married. My
father sent me to Sam to learn IL the re-
port was true. found him whitewash-
ing the wooden fence around his shanty.
SAM" | said, ''what in the world
have you and old Kate been up to, mar
rying at your age? What did you do it
for?"
why, Massa WILL he replied, syo'
eSO ~ Udt tihAc Wd4s ~to lAutO hA a WcAc
tallin' an say to ole Kate, ''Kate, we
po' fool niggers. rs done live bouts
longs 1 ker to"
AN Kate, she say, II dunno bout
dat, Sam, but guess yo' is tellin' de
truff."
e So Kate, she say as how she's ole
too, an can't grow much ol'er, an how
she po' an can't be no poo'er. An so
we 'clude to get married, kase we can't
be no oler, mo- poo'er when we's mar
ried, den when Kate is juss Kate an
Sans juss SAM.
"And SO those two old darkies were
married" said the Princess Anne man,
because they were old and could not
live much longer, and because they were
poor and could not be any poorer, wheth-
err they were single or married. New
York Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06


A good story is told by Mr.. Montagu
Williams concerning an argument that
took place as to whether or not certain
boy of very tender years was old enough
to be sworn as a witness. At the sug-
gestion Of one of the counsel engaged
in the case he was Intercepted by the
judge, when the following colloquy took
place,
"Now, my little man, said the Judge,
''do you know what will become OF you
if you tell an untruthP'
Hell fire, said the boy, without NOV
ing.
"Well, and what will become of you,"
continued his lordship, "if you play tru-
ant and do not go to SCHOOL,"
"Hell fire" said the boy.
What If you don't like your brothers
and sisters?"
Hell fire." again said the boy.
"What IL you stay out late when your
mother sends you on an errandr'
"Hell fire."
What if you spill the MILK"
"Hell fire."
His lordship ran through a long list of
faults, some of them of very slight de-
scription, but the penalty was always
the same--"hell fire."
At the end Of the examination the
learned counsel said:
my lord, ] hardly think this little boy
sufficiently intelligent or instructed for
his evidence to be admissible"
"Indeedlr exclaimed the judge. "Well,
now entirely differ with you. He seems
very good little boy, and If he grows
up in his present belief, and thinks the
direst punishment will be visited upon
him for every fault he may commit, he
will probably make a much better man
than you or L.
The boy was sworn. --Pall Mall Ga
xaffa
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
A Man Who Has Worked Hard.

Sir Henry Parkes, the premier of New
South Wales, commenced to earn his
own living when a child nine years of
age, and he has been hard worker
from then till now. He never went to
school for more than three months in his
life, and from the age of nine he has
been entirely dependent ON his own eff
forts. He arrived in Australia a young
man without friends, without money,
and with no letter of introduction to any
one, and lived in the country for nearly
two years without seeing human face
that he had seen before coming out.
Now he has been premier of New South
Wales about ten years. He does not be-
lieye there is man in all Australia who
has worked harder than he has at man
ual and other labor. He Is close upon
seventy-fve years of age.London Tit
Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
r he HAIR

When not properly cared for, loses
its lustre. becomes crisp, harsh, and
dry, and falls out freely with every
combing. To prevent this, the best
and most popular dressing in the
market is Ayers Hair vigor. 1t
removes dandruff, heals troublesome
humors of the scalp, restores faded
and gray hair to its original color,
and imparts to it silky texture
and lasting fragrance. By using
this preparation, the poorest head
of hair soon
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

The skeleton vest has full vest front
and an open back. The collar and a
piece of the shoulder top run all the way
around, thus affording sufficient body
for proper shoulder set. The vest is
then fastened around the waist by
belt. These skeleton vests are made in
two sizes. One size will fit a 80, 81, 80 or
% bust. and the other will fit 40 to 46.
The garment sits beautifully and fits
the figure perfectly. The main features
are that it does away with great deal
of weight and useless material and
makes very cool garment.-Mercer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
AM Imnortant Ietter.

Technicalities Of the law are being
used to an advantage in the Walker
county court. A party was charged
with the theft of cigars. The county at
torney, in drawing up the complaint,
charged tho accused with the theft Of
min" cigars. Tho Defendants lawyer
succeeded in having the case thrown out
Of court because the letter SEP was
omitted from the word ''nine," and
showed that the accused did not appro-
pirate min cigars belonging to some
one else to his own use.-Madisonville
Tex Messenger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
Becomes LuSuriant

and beautiful. All who have once tried
Ayers Hair Vigor, want no other dressing.
Galbraith s. Starks, Druggists, Sharon
Grove, Ky, write: 1--WE believe Ayers
Hair Vigor to be the best preparation of the
kind in the market, and sell more of Il than
of all others. No drug store is complete
without supply of it,"
{" l have used Ayers Hair Vigor with
great benefit and know several other per-
sons, between 20 and so years OF age, who
have experienced similar good results from
the use of this preparation. 1t restores gray
hair to its original color promotes new
growth, gives lustre TO the hair, and cleanses
the scalp of dandruff" = Bernardo Ocl'oa,
Madrid Gnain
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
An Angry Client.

A lawyer of some eminence in this
city, while enjoying q social hour with
some friends the other night, narrated an
incident of his practice IN which Daniel
Drew, then liking OF Wall street."
figured. Mr.. Drew had been sued by
persons who had been letout at the small
end of the horn by him in stock trans
action. The rugged financier was indig-
nant and vicious when he sought the
aforesaid lawyer and requested him to
take the case. The amount for which
the plaintiffs sued was about $35, 900,
and Drew said that he wanted the case
brought into court so that he might
"show up them fellers."
The lawyer made careful investiga-
ton of the facts and found that his client
had scarcely leg to stand on in court.
He was anxious to win the case, how
ever, and determined to see what in
genuity and an exhaustive knowledge of
legal technicalities would accomplish.
Circumstances favored him, and through
carelessness ON the other side he succeed
ed in non-suiting the plaintiffs. Elated
with this result he called on Mr.. Drew
and triumphantly announced that vic
tory was theirs.
''But haven't had chance TO tes-
tify," said the old speculator peevishly.
THAT was not necessary. We have
won the case without trial."
''The deuce you havew exclaimed Mr..
Drew angrily. well, you are fine
lawyer to look after the interests of your
clients. / wouldn't give dollar bunch
for such lawyers az you are"
''You don't seem to understand, Mr..
Drew" explained the lawyer. 1--WE
have won the suit and you are 1886, 900
ahead, to say nothing of the costs.'
Thunder and lightning, manp fumed
the brusque Daniel ''what do / care
about the $4,000? wanted to get on
the witness stand and tell what thought
of them fcllers. New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

Mr.. John FL. Hall, who died recently
in Thomasyille, Ga, was the first CAPT
talist to take hold Of the project of the
elevated railroad in good faith, and it
was largely due to his energy that the
roads were completed. He was a very
wealthy man, and besides his great in
terests in the elevated he had large rail
way interests in the south. Cor. Phila-
delphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

Men Are to Blame for Female Frivolity.
BY the way, think occasionally hear
a feeble pipe from man to the effect
that the girls are responsible for all the
tomfoolery in the world. Don't you know
that you are the very ones who tend to
make them so--you men? You follow
after and WOO and wed just that sort of
girls. You won't look at a sensible little
woman who can make 'lovely" bread,
abjures bangs, can't dance and has no
"style." You laugh at and make sly
jokes at the expense OF our big hats and
our pronounced fashions, but when you
choose your company, and often your
wives, l notice you pass right by the
housekeeping birds and take the pea
cocks. IL you won't have her modest
and simply gowned she is willing to
make feather headed doll and trav-
esty Of herself to get you and win
heavenl You know perfectly well, you
men, that you don't care half so much
for brains as you do for ''get-up," aud
the woman you honor with your choice
is selected for pretty face and form
and becoming costume rather than for
q clever head and an honest heart.
] am not talking to old fogies who
cling to old fashioned notions, but to
young men who ridicule the customs of
their grandmothers, who shake their
heads at the salaries of two and three
thousand year as inadequate to support
wives; who rail against woman's extrav-
agance, yet do their best TO maintain her
in it. When you, my fine and dapper
gentleman, begin to seek out the mod
estly appareled and the sedate girls, then
shall folly and vain show fly over seas
for want of encouragement and the
grand transformation Of sawdust dolls
into women and pleasure seekers into
homekeepers take place. Cor. Chicago
Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
A SMALL. WISH.
I might do one deed of good.

II / might do one deed Of good,
One little deed before die,
Or think ono noble thought, that should
Hereafter not forgotten lie,
would not murmur, though must
Be lost in deaths unnumbered dust.
The filmy wing that watts the seed
Upon the careless wind to earth,
OF its short life has only need
To find the germ fit place for birth;
For one swift moment of delight
1t whirls, then withers out of sight.
IF. w. Bourdillon.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
Inconsistency.

Poet-You said the other day in your
paper that poverty is not a crime.
Editor--Welli
Poet-And yet you decline my verses
simply because you say they are poor
Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

Compare the number of people who will
probably attend your funeral with the pop
ulation of the world, and you may form
some estimate of how much and how long
you will be missed.-Atchison Globe,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

Leave Lambertyille for Manunka Chunk S.27,
$40 m, 1855, 5.24 and 1913 p m. Sunday S.ss m.
For Phiipsburg and EastoD only 6.32 p week
days.
Leave Frenchtown $50. 1904 m, 2.07, 8. so p. m.
weekdays. For Phillipsburg and Easton only,
1903 p. M.
Arrive Phillipsbnrg 93s and 1910 m, $50 %,
IA and 80 IN. Sunday, $50. p IN.
Leave Phillipsburg 7.26, $3.50 and 1910 q M $50
6.25 and $50 p m. sunday $50 m.
Arrive Beivldere 7.59, 1904 and lib m, 1925,
6.52 and s.57 M. Sunday. 9-57 pm
Arrive MaDunka Chunk 500, 1910, 11.20
332, 100 and 1908 m. Sunday 1908 p m.
Additional trains leave Belvidere for Manunka
Chunk 7.l5, 40 q. M, and 2.25 p. Sunday, is
M. Returning, leave Manunka Chunk for Belvi
dere S.25 and TO- M, 4.S0, 705, 1905 p m Sun
day. 1905 p. IN.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk ut sos a. m, Belly idere 6IT a. M. Martins
Creek at .45 m, arriving at Lehigh junction at
705 a. m, will carry passengers and make stops at
flag stations north of Phillipsburg Trains eav-
ing Manunka Chunk at 8.25 m, and 40 p M
will carry passengers to Belvidere.
Connection Is made at Manunka CHUNK with
Delaware Lackawanna 3. Western Railroad Lee
high junction with Lehigh Valley .Lehigh 4 sus-
quehanna ,Morris& Essex and New ersey Contra
Railroads. At Lambertville with Pennington Rail-
road At Trenton with trains to and from New
York Camden, &c.
Forfurther Information see time tables which
can be obtained AZ the ticket Offices
CHAS. e. PUGH, JR. WOOD,
Genera Manager. Genera Passenger Agent
F. W. JACKSON.
Gen'lSupt. U. R. R. of N. j. Div.
WILSON BROWN, supt. Bevldere Div
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

The records say that there were in all
1911 regulars and 164,0S0 volunteers,
or 94,79i soldiers in the aggregate, on
the American side in the war for indie
pendence. The figures as to the number
Of sailors in that struggle vary within q
wide range.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

The London county council reports
that the value of rental in London is
forty two and half millions sterling.
Capitalizing this on the principal Of
twenty years purchase, London is worth
q, e50, 000, 900.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06

Slasher-I hear that Jawlins has taken
. wife from the washtub.
Stabber-That Is not 90; she Is there
yet.--Ram's Horn.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1891-05-06
BILLKINNY, 0FDRY FORK

Bill Kinny, of Dry Fork, killed prom
inent man of the community, and the
authorities, after some little medita-
ton, decided that he ought to be arrest
ed. But Bill objected, and when three
deputy sheriffs called on him he laid a
Winchester rifle across one corner of his
homestead, killed one of the deputies
and SO painfully wounded the other two
that they strolled back to the Shady
Grove court house. Several days later,
while Bill was sitting in front of his
door, Mark Townsend, the sheriff in
chief, walked up to the fence and lazily
placed his arms on the top rail. Bill
reached back and took up his rifle.
"Good mornin', Bill"
eli, Mark"
"Had good bit of frost last night"
"Yas, ruther. Which way you tray
elm, Mark"
"Oh, no way in particular. Lowed
You mout be lonesome, an thought I'd
drap over and talk with you while.
Don't make no difference how lively a
Teller is he's apt to get lonesome once in
while, specially this time of the year"
II reckon that's true" Bill replied.
'Some fellers come out here the other
day, and one of them got so lonesome
that he just natchully had to lay down. /"
$50 l hearn," said the sheriff. "By
the way, he added, ''them fellers that
you speak abont wanted you to go to
Shady Grove with them, didn't theyy'
''Yas, they lowed that ledge down
thar wanted to make my acquaint-
ance.n
"You don't say sol" exclaimed the
sheriff. IVY, the jedge is a mighty big
man, an I'd think you'd like to meet
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-12

Elroy Post, the artist, who had made two
large paintings Of the Indians favorits
ponies.
Emma Abbott was In constant fear Of
pneumonia, and upon her laat professional
visit TO Cincinnati II was noticed that the
windows and doors In her room at tho hotel
were stuffed ana blanketed In order that
not q breath OF air might blow upon her.
She also wore a heavy collar M rn extra
protection. And yet pneumonia claimed
her ut last.
One Of the handsomest men In Washing
ton at the present time il ~ex-Justice Strong,
Of the supreme bench. Ho has 4 flne, rud-
dy color, and the firm, erect bearing Of a
man in the prime of life. His hair ia white
as snow, his forehead broad and high and
his eyes calm and deep set. His mouth Ia
small and sensitive and he has the face OF
n refined student.
Mrs. Maggie Van Colt, the old-time
Methodist reyiyalist, IN now holding meet
ings in Chicago. She is 81 years old. and
for u quarter Of a century she has been
active in church work. She has scarcely a
gray hair in her head, her voice Ia clear
md strong and her complexion has the
rudy hue of health. The only mark of ad-
vancing years is Il slight deafness.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-12
PROMINENT PEOPLE.

The California farmer who realized 81 900
no tears to shed when away from the onion
beds.
Senator Joseph NJ. Carey, of the new state
Of Wyoming. is physically the largest man
in the United states senate. Now the coun-
try will watch to see how his statesmanshlp
sizes up.
fThe meiodious name of Graco Greenwood
Is now more closely allied to works of char
ity than to literary labors. She still write q
& little but can usually be found where sor-
row and suffering hold sway.
Gen. \. +. Banks is now but a shadow of
what he was fifteen years ago. His face ia
thin and, though he still carries himself
with some of his old time e~rectness. his
is that of Il man who lives in tb.
past. His hair and mustache are SNOW
white.
1t was pretty and kind thoughtfnlness on
the part of M. and Mrs. Kendall to send
New Years cards from Europe to phiIadeI =
PIMA friends who entertained them in that
city. The cards are gems of art and are
ornamented with British and American
flags draped together in one corner and a
clover leaf below.
Sitting Bulls war-cIub ii is now IN tine oos-
session of an Ohio editor. II il a v;cio,.
looking weapon about two and n half feet
long u bears the signs of hard SCI vice
In the heavy OF business end oil the club
a short buffalo horn is firmly embedded.
! Inc Old chief gave the relic originally 10
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-12
gHERlFF's sALE-HENRY g.. NJ. KOL

CHERIFF'S SALE-HENRY g. NJ. KOL,
- lock plaintiff, ys. Charles ,. Newbury ara
defendants. !,
Under and by virtre of an order Of sale snd
deere o. foreclosure and sale. issued out Of the
district court IT the first judicial dif trict Of tie
state Of Montana, in an for the county OF Lewis
aud Clarke. on the 2Gth day Of / 9 ,enber, a. u.
1880. in tho above entitled action, wherein Henry
H.. NJ. Kollock, the Above-namei plaintiff ,obfainet
a judgment ard deere OF foreclosure and Isle
his wife. and Alfred Bourk, defendants, IN
the 3tti day of December, A. ID. 1880. for
the SUM Of 5000. be,ides interes costs spd
attorney fees. which said decree was on the 3pfn
day Of december, A. d. 1890, recorded in judgment
manded to cell all that certain lot, piece or PSF
Gel OF land, situate, lying and being in tho cOnn-
~ of Lewis and Clarke, b ate Of Montana,
and bounded and described - follows. to wit:
block numbered five hundred AMI sixty $50,
commencing { ON the northwest corner Of ssih
lot numbered nineteen 49, fronting on Spencer
street and adjoining lot numbered eleven ~,
running east along said lot e.eyen III seventy
feet; thence running thirty. 40, s,et south to lot
nnmbersd eighteen, 49,: thence running along
said lot numbered eighteen 49, seventy f7O) feet
west to fp,ncef street: thence running thirty 800
feet north to the place Of beginning
Public notice IL hereby given that on Thnrsday,
the I'D day ri January. A.. ID: 1891. at IL O'Clock
IN. OF tiat day. at the front door Of The court
house, Helena. Lewis and Clarke county, Montana
] will, in obedience to said order Of sale and de-
cree Of foreclosure and sals. sell the above De.
scribed property. or SO much thereof as may be
nee sssary to satisfy said Judgment, with interest
and costs. TO the highest and best bidder, for
ca h in hand.
Given Under my hand this 31st day Of DeceIE-
Der, A. d. 1890.
CHAs. NJ JEFFERJs, Sheriff.
BY lsAAe HoLBnooR, Deputy Sheriff.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-01-12
WORKING ON THE LEVEES.
Fears Along the Mississippi From til
Coming Spring Thaws.

Fears Along the Mississippi From the
Coming Spring Thaws.
MEMPHIS, Tenn. Jan. 11.-Great uneasi-
ness is felt along the lower Mississippi ow-
Ing to the unfinished and unsafe condition
of the levees and the heavy SHOWS north,
with prospects of a thaw. Many thousands
of dollars have been expended in the last
year on levee work, and it is being pushed
forward as rapidly as possible by the con-
tractors, who hops to complete their work
before the spring rise, as that would prove
destructive to the entire system if caught
in an uncompleted condition. The forces
along the line are being doubled. Relays
of hands and teams from this city and
ports further north are being shipped to
the works, and all possible haste ia being
made to complete the work by March /,
save in front of Helena, Ark. A long DELAY
has been occasIoned on that part of the
work by the fact that two contracts made
for its completion and ratified by the board
of United States engineers were not ap-
proved by the secretary of war when sub
mltted to him. Consequently a third ad
v%ertisement and letting will have to take
place before it can be completed.