The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1891-11-27
KNOCKED OUT.
How an lrrcprsasibie, Effervcscsnt. Pray
ing Flend Was Shut Up.

How an lrrcpreasibie, Eifervescsnt, Pray
Ing Flend Was Shut Up.
When the Rev. James Archer took charge
Of the Lone Zion church he found the con-
gregation thereof in most demoralized
condition, Fills predecessor, after making
some heroic attempts TO head of the strayed
sheep had thrown up the sponge and re-
tired in disgust.
Causes depart, but effects remain
murmured the Rev. james as he sur.
veyed tho ghastly array Of empty benches
to which he had preached his opening SER
mon. Unfortunately 1t was the cause as
we'll as the effect that remained In Lone
Zion, as he very soon found out, said
cause being Il large. red faced saint named
Bangs, who pursued the calling Of Isurer
during the week, brazenly demanding .
per cent. month on all money advanced.
but when Sunday -prestol--what q
changel Donning his religion with his Sab
bath clothes he proceeded to occupy the
front pew In church, till carried away by
an excess Of fervor he would advance to
the chancel rail aud fairly lombard heaven
with prayers AS the Lord was expected
to do all the giving, Brother Bangs gener-
ously requested fayors not only for che
members Of the congregation, but for ali
Jews, pagans infdels and the sinful world
at large. In word, he prayed both for
the fayorites and the field.
Such was the state Of affairs when the
Rev. Mr.. Archer devoted an entire week
to parochial visiting, and with tears 10 his
eyes implored the recreant worshlpers to
return. NE, sir, no. was the inyariable
reply; 'as long as you let chat fellow Bangs
sit up there In the front pew aud run the
praying we ain't going toeome back. The
idea" continued the scoflers indignantly,
''the cheek to lead In prayer and ask fa-
vors for honest folk. Go and hush Bangs
up and then we'll see about coming back. "
Bangs, however, refused to be hushed up.
Despite the minister's entreaties and ex-
postulatonsh he continued to practice usury
and religion with the same fervor and sue
cess.
One night during the week prayer
meeting was in order. Much to the Rev.
James' surprise quite number Of the dis
gruntled members attended the services.
During the opening hymn citizen, at
tracted by the music, strayed In and sub
sided quietly In u rear pew, where he
amused himself staring stupidity around.
Never had Brother Bangs been more i'm
presslvein his amens, mere feryid in his
singing, more plaintive in his prayers than
upon this special evening.
Finally In a state Of spiritual etferyes
cence he rushed out Of his pew, caught
hold Of the chancel rail and scared heaven
ward on the wings OF prayer, Signs
groans and exultant whoops lent dignity
and impressiveness to his exhortation
"0h Lordln he pleaded, i've pray thee tC
grant ua all good things we pray thee K
lift up our hearts and give us higher In
terest In heaven "Whatin yelled th'
mortified man In the back pew. What
higher interest than per cent. q month
Great Scott, man, that's high enough fol
heaven, earth, or hell either" Brothel
Bangs promptly collapsed, and after tina
evening the Lone Zion congregation saw
him no more. ~Elvira Miller for Chicag'
Special Press Bureau.