davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

A Phenomenal and Successful Huptin.
Expedition.

expedition.
On Thanksgiving day several tvpos
of The WORLD force went out for a
general hunt. They travelled over this
county, in all, distance Of about 3. i42
miles, and met with no success what
ever. Feeling somewhat ashamed of
returning home without any game, one
Of the devils suggested that they cross
the mountain and take a ramble ON the
other side After some argument
and the devising OF new plans to pro-
cure game, they struck out, and in less
than five minutes reached the bottom
of the mountain on the opposite side. a
distance of IL miles. They succeeded
in tracking bears to small piece of
woodland of some 4 ,276 acres, but were
unable to pursue their game on ac-
count of the thick shrubbery and un-
dergrowth. Finally the devil suggest
ed a scheme, and they started out to
gather up ropes, chains, cord, etc. In
less than one hour they secured about
five four-horse wagon loads from three
or four neighboring houses. These
they tied and fastened together, MAX
ing a string about 800 miles long.
which they succeeded in fastening
around the woodland of 4, 276 acres in
half hour. This done they again as
cended the mountain, and taking hold
of one end of the string, gave one
mighty pull "all together" The crash
resulting was far worse than an earth
quake, and shook the whole United
States. People in the neighborhoods
left their homes in great excitement.
and hundreds have never been heard
from since.
Anyhow, the woods came down, and
the hunters with two half-starved
hounds and old army muskets, pro-
ceeded to kill their game. Up to this
writing they are not yet done haulinS
their game to this city by one-third.
Hundreds of hands have been
employed day and night, and
teams are scarce and not to be
had at any price. We learn the
freight cars Of all of our railroads,
some nineteen in number, have been
chartered for the next six months to
come, to carry the hides to markets
throughout the whole world, not say
ing anything about 81 vessels contract
ed for at various ports.
AS to the quantity and kinds of game
they killed it would be impossible to
state. But, for the benefit of the read
er, we would say that more elephants,
tigers, bears, lions, rabbits, camels,
birds, and wild animals of every sort,
were killed on this occasion than dur
ing the whole $4,000, 900 years of this
country put together. The boys, es-
pecially the devil, have been regarded
here ever since Thanksgiving day, as
the greatest heroes and hunters the
world has ever produced.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
A Santa Fe Incident.

Il was silent in the chair car, and the clanking
of the rails
Made frame to hang poem on of jingling
joys or walls;
The cattleman from Burlington was drumming
on the pane;
The state house clerk was whistling on a card
some low refrain;
The high browed girl from Lawrence was en-
gagged in her BAZAAR
Der krosry man Won Veechita was chewing q
seegar,
When the train stopped at Eudora with fizzle
sizzle chug,
And took q soft eyed siren on the Santa Fe
plug.
Her carriage, face and figure were perfection.
and her smile
Was shimmered. tangled day dream as she
drifted down the aisle.
The cattleman's eyes watered and the state
house clerk was dazed;
Der krosry man ven Veechita in dizzy rapture
gazed;
The frizless girl from Lawrence put her glasses
on and saw
A particularly interesting view across the
Kaw,
While the siren sat there coyly as kitten or
rug
The siren from Eudora on the Sante Fe plug
And as the train reached Argentine the cattle
man grew rash,
He cleared his throat and nervously pulled at
his roam mustache.
Der Veechita man lost his nerve, the state
house clerk grew gray,
And he saw the cattleman he made bold
sashay.
And when at last the train had stopped she
answered loud and clear:
"Ay haf yob av verk oop at des Coates House,
call oop dere.
tauk " Iat IN COW vors y,,ora ha courva A ~
lax your mug"
Said the siren from Eudora on the Sante f.
plug
Kansas City Journal.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

A tough looking fellow went into an Of.
flee and, in voice of trained supplication,
thus addressed a man who sat at a desk:
Wont you, please, give me enough
money to get a bite to eat9 l am nearly
starved and have been tramping around
iookin for work, but wouldn't be able tc
strike lick now even If should get any
work to do"
The man slowly turned about, looked at
the fellow and then asked, "Why don't
you take bath?'
A shade of disgust spread over the fel
lows face. Great Cesarp' he replied, sis
it possible there is no consistency in this
world? l have been in here dozen times
just after takin bath and you never spoke
word in praise of it. But now, just be-
cause l have failed, you twit me. 1 will
accept nothing from you. am disguised
with your lack of consistency. "-Arkan
saw Traveller.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
TIE MODEM DRAMA.


All l-Dt sFE IL
Marguerite Daisy, alone in the grand ga
lon Of her fathers palatial mansion. En-
ter man servant with card on q golt
salver.
Marguerite (reading tie cara)---Show hin
up, Alphonse.
Alphonse (apologetically)-I can't do it
miss. Pm no editor, and Mr.. Algernor
amt candidate on the opposition ticket.
Marguerite depressing her emotion)-
Show the gentleman in, tell you.
Alphonse (bowing)- miss.
Enter Algernon, who rushes toward hel
two steps at time.
Algernon-Are you alone, Marguerite, OF
are you by yourself?
Marguerite Observation-Disclosures, Alger
non.
Algernon (suspiciously) -Then another
is heres
Marguerite (trembling)-Yes, Algernon
Algernon (starting back and repulsins
her as she steps toward him Hold, per
fdious onei Do not touch mel Who il
the wretchi Who is he that is heres
Marguerite lin whisper)-You darling
have not been alone since you came in.
Algernon Extending his arms)-Mar
gueritel
Marguerite (springing forward)-Alger
nonl
They fall upon esch others necks, wher
Alphonse opens door c. begs pardon has
tily and disappears, while they attempt tt
dissemble; but it is too late, for Alphons.
is on and goes off to inform the maid. They
sit down on fauteuil.
Algernon Gntensely)-Do you love me
Margueritef
Marguerite kissing him impulsively)-
Oh, Algernon!
Algernon-And you do not love me foi
my fortune, darlingi
Marguerite (tenderly)-No, Algernon
but for your salary alone.
Both rise and come to front of stage
Agernon (passionately)-Darling dar
ling. Then you Consent to be my widow
Marguerite Throwing herself impetuous
ly into his arms and hiding her face on his
manly bosom)-Gladly, Algernon.
Enter Alphonse (hurriedly and without
rapping). They dissemble again.
Alphonse-I beg your pardon, miss, but
there is a man at the front door with s
gun.
Algernon {excitedly)-Is it loaded, AL
phonse'
Alphonse-The man is, sir.
Algernon (bravely stepping in front O,
Marguerite)EThen fire him, Alphonse
Alphonse bows and disappears
Marguerite tclasping her hands)-Oh, Al
gernon, what hero you arel
Algernon with cruelindifference)- hav.
to be, Marguerite, to be so heroic.
Marguerite (anxiously)-But have you no
fear, Algernoni
Algernon (still calm)-Never, when Pm
not afraid, darling.
Marguerite (rapturously)-Yo are SC
beautiful, Algie.
Algernon--That is because I'm so hand
some, darling But must go away, love,
or leave the house Which shall it bes
Marguerite (thoughtfully)-Leave the
house. darling, because papa don't like to
live in a tent.
Algernon (taking hes hand in his)-And
do you love your papa so?
Marguerite (gently)-He is my father,
Algernon.
Algernon Gin deep abstractiony-Tru
had not thought of that.
Enter Father.
End of act i, scene detroit Free Press
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Cut His Eye Teeth.

Mr.. Gotham-Come back east to live,
ehS What was the matter with Dugout
City?
Returned Veteran-Too noisy. Couldn't
sleep.
Mr.. Gotham Ito mself)-That town
must be booming.
Returned Veteran-Tm not going back
there again. Pm going to sell out.
Mr.. Gotham (hastily)-Put the figure low
and Tli buy
Mr.. Gotham "a month later)-See herel
That property you sold me in Dugout
City isn't worth taxes. The town is dead
and grass growing in the streets. You said
you left because it was so noisy there you
couldn't sleep.
Returned Veteran Gnnocently)-Y-e-s.
Can any one sleep with forty million frogs
singing under his window2-New York
Weekly,
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Meant

First Doctor-Old Jones is the meanest
man in town.
Chorus of Other Doctors-Why, never
heard him called that before
First Doctor-Well, he is. He came to
me for professional advice about year
ago. told him he was all run down, that
he would have to give up business or die in
three weeks, and he has worked almost
night and day ever since-Life
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

Strong evidence of the lack Of wheat
in Eastern Europe is found in the
British imports in October. Shipments
from that quarter fell off more than 81
0G0, 900 tons, which was made up chleny
by an increase in shipments from TINS
country. This heavy falling Oft IN one
of the largest exporting months lnol,
Gates that Russia lacks the wheat, anu
confirms the notion that the crop was
overestimated by officials.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

The managers of a Brooklyn horse
car company recently put their stables
under the control of an officer of the
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals, and found ample reason to
be satisfied with the improved condl-
ton of their live stock, and a saving
in money. 1t pays in more senses than
one to be humane.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

He Asked One Question Too Many.

An old man was on the witness stand
and was being cross examined by the law
yer.
"You say you are doctor, sir"
Eyes, sir; yes, sir.'
what kind Of doctori"
II make intments, sir. make int
ments."
whats your ointment good fort"
''Its good to rub on the head to strength
en- the mind"
"What effect would it have if you were
to rub some of it on my heads"
'None at all, sir; none at all. We must
have something TO start with. "-Gainsville
Eagle
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

Ballade of Knowledge and Ignorance.
know the names of England's kings,
The facts about Egyptian mummies,
The history of Saturn's rings,
The time card of the local dummies;
My mind is filed with facts complete
know how pyramids were planned,
The price we ought to pay for wheat,
Yet girls never understand.
know the way the trade winds blow,
But not the fitful within of Dora:
know the reason song birds go,
But never could make out Norah;
I've studied hard, and tried to learn
All that professors can demand.
And yet have one deep concern,
For girls cannot understand.
And yet sometimes wish knew
Why good girls often act so queerly-
Why Saint Nitouche who kisses you
Tomorrow gives slight nod merely.
Inever thought my mind was slow,
Nor am | lacking-much-in sand:
And yet what pleasure lies before,
When girls we do not understand.
L'ENvoI
Prince. here's to you, but teach me we'll,
And III obey your least command.
Today in wretchedness dwell,
For girls do not understand.
Harvard Lampoon.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
A Categoric Answer.

The poet, in the dark of night,
Disturbed in his repose.
Gets up and armed with boots and things
He to the window goes.
He lays his weapons on the sill,
Then lifts the sash with care,
And with supernatural yell
He fires them through the air.
His wife starts up in wild alarm,
And with a dreadful shrek,
She grabs him and she cries: sOh. GeorpeI
What is the matter? Speak,"
The poet thus appealed to could
Not possibly refuse,
And so he said, I'm making, dear.
My offerings to the news"
Detroit Free Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Rather Stale Bread.

Mrs. Slimdiet-The boarders are coming
in. Cut the bread, Matilda.
Miss Slimdiet-Ma, saw in a society pa
per today that bread should be broken,
not cut
Mrs. Slimdiet-T That's the style now, Ell?
Very well. Where's the ax.-Good News.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
From a Future Novel.

Hero-Have you no pity in your hearth
Is there no tenderness in your natures
Are you wholly made up of brutal crueltys
Villain-Ha! Hal You appeal to heart
of stone [Hissing.l | was once the cen
ter rush of football team.
Hero-Then heaven help us ALL There
is no hope.-Life.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

tits reported that the Gear will shortly
issuean edict forbiddingthe expectation
of horses from Russia. Whether the
horses are to be retained to be utilized
as food, or kept to eat up the grain
which should go to the starving people,
is not stated.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

The New York Evening Post, in an
editorial speaking of the best way to
attack the lottery nuisance, has hit the
right nail on the head when it suggests
the use of the taxing power of the
Federal Government.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
The Ruling p.ssion.

Papa-Well, daughter, did you give that
poor country editor the mitten, as told
you 20 dor
Daughter Yes, papa.
Papa-And what did he sayp
Daughter-He asked il it were by your
request, and l told him it was.
Papa-What did he say to thats
Daughter-He asked IL you couldn't
make it a pair of mittens and fall suit Of
clothes to match.-De5roit Free Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Rather Cruel.

Miss Freshly-Anything new up in the
country today, Farmer Green?
Farmer Green-Wal, yes'm. They be
a-sayin that the hog choleras comm long
our way.
Miss F.-Myl don't wonder you look
worried. Boston Courier.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

Jack-Iove's language is the language
Of the eyes
Tom (gloomily)-It may be, but 1 con-
TESS | have found it to be chiefly a language
of mos. New York Herald
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
A Wide Margin.

Tailor-How wide collar shall put on
your overcoat, sirS
Customer-Make il so wide that when
pass you on the street can turn it up so
you won't recognize me.-Clothier and
Eurnisher
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
An Original.

A child was asked what dust was, and
she said, Dust is mud with the juice
squeezed out"
The same child said that "snow was pop
ped rain. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
A Brave Child.

Come, darling, you have eaten enough
of that cake"
"Oh, mamma, haven't dot the tummick
ache yetp'-Revue Ro;sin,
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

How do you hold on when you drive
up that steep hill?" asks her mother
Hold on to Mr. Daring" she replied
without finching Rider and Driver.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

First Student-You said you had rarc
autograph in your possession, yet I see
nothing here but receipted tailor's bill. (,
Second Ditto-And, pray, isn't that
rare document?-U1k
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Not Deep Enough for Him

"Grasper is undoubtedly the worst speci-
men of meanness l ever saw"
What has he done now?"
Il congratulated him yesterday on the
beauty of the girl he is to marry, and the
skinffint replied; Beauty is only skin
deep "-Cape Cod Item.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Feed and Fed

Teacher-What tense is feeds
Boy-Present tense.
Teacher-What tense is fed?
Boy-Past tense.
Teacher-Correct. Give an example
Boy-After the man feed the waiter he
got fed.-Good News.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

Uncle Ebony-It looks ter me powerful
like I'd hab to git married. sab, unless
something happens.
carbohydrates what, uncle?
Uncle Ebony-Unless l gifts tolably de-
cent suit o. clothes from gentleman of
about your size, sah.-Clothier and Fur
nisher
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

The acrobat's lot is an unfortunate one,
for no matter how much he makes he is
continually subject to reverses. = Balti-
more American.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
They Will Come Next.

W'fe-My dear, have you such thing as
match and piece of stringa
Husband-Why, what's up?
Wife-My suspender has busted. Cloak
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Happy.

The druggists face bright look wore
When entered his place today,
AS he was arranging goodly store
OF plaster and arnica.
So smiling and cheerful he seemed to be
That asked him to tell the reason
He was so, and. winking. he answered me.
Were entering the football season."
New York Press.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
His Great Mistake.

He thought he'd marry her because
She made her gowns herself,
But the little trimming bills she had
Soon laid him on the shelf.
Cloak Review.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
when Kate Has Done NV Room.

w hOh hhto A1as DOho uhy INOOnus
Oh, Kate, the maid who regulates
The domicile wherein dwell.
Goes twice to church on Sabbath day,
And otherwise COMFORTS her we'll.
Within her heart, as opine,
A thousand varied virtues bloom;
But in my heart what weight of woe
When Kate has done my rooml
The picture of my latest girl
Lies in the basket kept for waste;
One shoe is hid beneath the bed,
Its mate behind the trunk is placed.
Old refuse papers all are saved,
Those yet unread have met their doom
And everything is upside down
When Kate has done my room.
My shoebrush's on the mantelpiece,
My toothbrush nestles on the floor;
The whiskbroom and my button hook
Are out ofsight forevermore;
And nothing's where it used to be,
Save in my heart eternal gloom;
And life becomes a thing of pain
When Kate has done my room.
Boston Courier.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
His Idea of Enjoyment.


Thiggs-If you had about s., 200, 600 what
would you do with it?
Fistles-I should build the finest, hand
soonest, best furnished, most elegant, mag,
nificent and yet homelike residence in
Chicago.
'oThen what?"
''Then I'd-Pd travel" -Chicago Trib-
nna
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

Temperance ladies should remember that
bad coffee sometimes furnishes grounds
for drinking. -Columbus Post.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Life Settled.

A coiored philosopher is reported to have
said, Life, my breddern, am mostly made
up of prayin for rain and then wishinft
would cpar off. "-Presbyterian
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Every Man Will Say So.

Mrs S.-They say man never marries
his first love-
Her Hubby-He can't. 1t would be
polygamy.-Funny Folks
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
That VIII Please Them,

Actor-I have worked hard to please the
people. | have tried everything in the
business, but they won't be pleased.
Manager-Have you tried going out of
the Enthusiastically Citizen.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
The Last Resort.

The sluggard who goes to his aunt and
gets nothing is forced to deal with his un-
cle.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Comes Over OccasionaIlx.

Stranger (on European railway)-Ever
been in America?
Fellow Passenger (stiffly)-I visit the
country sometimes on business, sir am
the editor of New York daily paper
Chicago Tribune
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
They All Have Them.

Husband-I've got to go to reception
tonight. Haven't those shirts of mine
come?
Wife-No.
Husband-Then l shall have to wear one
of yours.-Cloak Review.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11

A violent connection on the outskirts of
the crowd attracted the attention of those
near the window, and somebody called out:
whats the matterf"
"This is a fair and square contest"
yelled man in reply, 'but we don't want
no expert on beans guessin on that jar, by
jucksi We've been hustlin Boston man
out of this crowdn'-Chicago Tribune
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
oh. How Short II La,

Nothing 40 wildly reminds us of the
brevity OF life as thirty day note.-Texas
Siftngs.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
A Boom Always ON Hand.

There is no need of dull times on board
ship. The crew can always get up boom.
Lowell Courier.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
An Expert.

There was q tremendous crowd in front
of the clothing store. A large glass jar
had been placed on pedestal inside the
window and this placard conspicuously
affixed thereto:
....-.-.......- ................... -.......
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS WILL BE /.
GIVEN 70 ANYBODY WHO
CAN GUESS THE NUM-
BER OF BEANS IN
THIS JAR.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1891-12-11
Ups and Downs.

He-They had lovers quarrel, parted
and she married her fathers coachman for
spite.
She-What became of her lover?
He-Oh he married her sister and hired
the coachman.-Life.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1891-08-12
Can,m.'s Emulsion

Will positively arrest Consumption if used
in time, cures Scrofula, Glandular Swellings,
Rheumatism, Bronchitis and other Lung
diseases. 1t is composed of the purest Nor
wegian Cod Liver Oil, combined with the
Hypophosphites of Lime and Soda with
Iron, and is freely prescribed by the Medi-
cal faculty throughout this country and In
Europe.
DIR. G. J. Murray, of Univ. Berlin, Prus-
STA, says: After a careful test of Camm's
Emulsion l indorse all you claim for it, and
will always use it in my practice.
Surgeon j. A. Tanner, U. S. Navy, Bos-
ton, Mass, says Camm's Emulsion is the
best combination with which am acquaint-
ed, and my experience with it has been very
favorable.
Surgeon ]. J. Robertson, U. S. Army,
Arizona, says: Camm's Emulsion is the
greatest combination of medicines ever got
ten up. 1t never fails me.
DIR. S. c. Gleaves, ex-President Va. Med
ical Association, says: believe Camm 3
Emulsion is the best preparation known for
pulmonary diseases.
Send for Circular.
For sale by all druggists. Manufactured
only by f. A. CRAIGHILL q Co., Whole
sale Druggists Lynchburg, Va.