Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-03-22
copyright BY Edsar W, Nyc.l

state that the trustees of the village Of
Bilgewater and three companies Of the
fire ladies are not on good terms. The
trustees and these firemen dislike each
other very much indeed, and as Mr.
Teeter is a trustee it is said that his loss
is much greater than it would have been
had his name even been Dennis instead
of Cicero The fire companies are all
composed Of volunteers, aud as they pay
dues and fines and put out fires at their
own expense they feel rather indepeud-
ent about where they viii show the
most zeal
The trustees have an appropriation
which they handle each year according
to the dictates of their own consciences
which is supposed TO go to the fire de
partmeut but this year they do not
hand it over without the duly receiptcd
bills of the department 20 show that the
money has not been misappropriated
This makes the fire laddes hot, for they
own their machines and board them
selves A fire laddie hates to have his
whiskers singcd off and his nose frozon
so stiff that in blowing it the whole for
fall of, but still worse he hates on top
of all this to have his motives Impugued
The fire laddie suffers, but he never
weeps He says to the trustees Of the
village OF Bilgewater; 1--WE, especially
members Of Unparalleled Squirt No. l.
have put mp with about all we care to
stand. and 50 we shall soon offer our
nice red trucks and blue ladders for sale
If you are afraid that we viii fool away
your appropriation on axle grease for
our engine or rat poison for our engine
house, and you dare not trust us out Of
sight, we will pause before we rescue
your abnormally plain hired girl from
the blazing rafters Of your burning
buildings You have asked us for our
ultimatum, and we inclose one herewith
which we have never used It is nice.
bright, new ultimatum. with a snapper
on the end Of it, Use it carefully and it
will last You long time
Then the trustees appealed to the pa
triotism of the fire laddics, saying: Sure
ly you will not go and sell your bright
red trucks and things to "A comparative
stranger, and then on the Fourth Of July
have no machine 20 haul around past the
Dutch pond and along the Fingerbowl
road Come, now, boys, don't act that
wayr
With this state of affairs, which has
been unchanged for several weeks it is
not strange that when the shrill cry Of
fire burst forth from the massive throat
Of Mr. TeeJor. ut 1lA7 on the above
night, several volunteer fremen coyly
looked out at window aud then went
back to bed again
Help! help! win no one save meY
cried the naughty official as he stepped
on a cold, toy rubber ball with his bare
foot, and shrieked again till the alright
ed night caught up the refrain, and two
men who We're passing by on their way
to catch a boat almost stopped to see
what the matter was.
By this time the forked flames began
TO lick their chops and reach out fol
1ustibe material The fire iend
discovered. for it was but the work
o, loment, that the building was fire
PR go there would be nothing TO pre-
ven lot only cutting it but actually
wipihg it from the face of the earth.
Sending the hired man after tipping
HIM to the nearest drug store to telo-
phone the fire department, mr. Teeter
began to twist the tail Of the fire fiend
alone, meantime only pausing long
enough to shrek or take a sip Of mince
pie favoring which stood ON the escri-
tsire
Just then some neighbors came by on
their way home from the city where
they had held theatre party CONVEX
sazziony. The ladies' were in full dress,
and the full orbed moon came out, tool;
a good square look at them and hastily
retired behind large, cool cloud. The
gents wore, also, each bran pneumonia
suit of full dress, and all remained sew
eral moments watching the fire.
"Who lives hsrey asked one gent who
had taught himself not to show any
emotion
II think Teeter hvess here" said one
of the parry. hut do net know them.
We have never sailed On them, for we
cannot really Ard out whssssr they calue
hare hswt ~ wa