The southern argus., 1891-12-17
PASTE AND SCISSORS

California;: Fre0uy Fangle- ITS StO-
rious climate. Smith. Gray & Co.'S
Monthly.
DO you know Mrs. Gossip is very
reliable woman?" "Indeedg' Yes;
whatever she says goes. v Baltimore
american.
In the world of fashion every old
hen has her set. And they manage 10
hatch out good deal of mischief
1eras Siftings.
De Canter-"Is there any sure way !
to tell the age of horse?" DE Irot- .
Yes. Ask the dealer aud multi
ply by two."-Ntto York Weekly.
The spoiled oyster. like the spoiled
child, does not know when to shut up.
Also. the spoiled child is pretty hard
to put down.-Indidndpoiis Journal
Cadson-''C 'Cholly's n reckless dog;
seems always to live from hand TO
mouth The Major-"Yes; and most
" from some other fellows hand. w.
Life.
Some of the "trouserings" exhibited
in the windows of the importing tai
lor" are so loud that you can almost
hear them pant.-Smith, Gray Il Co.'s
Monthly.
Spatts-'Do you think Now York
city is entitled to be called watering
plncc?" Blucbump-''Why not? Isn't
JAY Gould's Office in the city?"-Brook-
iy" Life.
The woman you would call poem
is not the woman you would call in
the morning to kindle the breakfast
fire and fry the slapjacks. Richmond
r. c0rder.
PA, how do you scalpP" said the
/ Irdian boy to Oyster-that-Laughs.
First catch your hair" sententiously
replied the noble red man.-BoSton
! Transcript.
! Diving Delinquent-''G Give me airl
/ I'm burning up!" Weekly Editor
/ Lord have mercy on us! He's struck
the other world alrcadyw- atlanta
Constitution.
Evergreen Il wonder why old
Closetist married that fearfullv fat
yirlP" Brightly Because there was
So little waist to her. | suppose. ."-ihit.
adelphia ireSs.
'Blykins knows all about horse
races" Why. he never goes To
them" No. 1t took him longer TO
learn that part than anything else. -
Washington Star.
Dimmick-'l have fallen away 20
half of my former weight" kick
shaw-'Why doesn't Mrs. Dimmick
put on half mourning. Smith. Gray
d Co.'S Monthly.
Jack Ohe facetious) - Il wonder
what State they run the lottery of love
inP' Pauline (the cynicaD -" In every
State. | guess. except the MARI
state. "-New York Herald.
1--WE have fixed pie rates in this
esse bIishment, sir. aud" You
really havcP How delightfully."- frank!
I'm all other places they call them
waitersr' Baltimore american.
What do you think of this idea that
suicide is sometimes permissible?
1T may do for women" replied the
candidate. but for man--a man with
vote - neveri'- indianapolis Jour
nal.
INV speech at the meeting last night
was mv maiden effort" said the young
orator. proudly. Yes" cynically re-
/ piled his friend; Il noticed 1t was
: something of q miss. ."-Battin0Te Am
erIcdH.
This place doesn't seem to be boom
ing" said the new arrival. mo" re-
piled his n: n:ajesty. lighting another
birthstone cigarette. the bottom lei
4 out some time ago" - Indtdadpott'
Journal.
Solomon wasn't in it when he de
clared that 1.-The borrower Is servant Il
the lender" Every one who has tried
il knows that the lender has To wal
on the borrower. Gray d 20.
+, Monthly.
n Miss Pruyou-"rm glad to hear tha
/ nj least one of our leading college
L has repudiated football" Mr.. Waite
e rs that so? Not Columbia. surelyg
Miss Pruyn-'O. no. Vassar. .-Aen
York Herald.
Mrs. InstyIe-'I see. dear. that yo'
have changed your reception days from
Tuesday to Thursday" Mrs. Fashio
Yes; nv new cook wanted Thurs
day for her day out, SO ! had to-"
Boston NesUs.
He-'The poet says that ladies
=. looks should be our books. viii 70
let your eyes be my teacher" She
Thanks. but | believe both OF then
are already supplied with pupils -
Baltimore american
You will excuse me for saying q
!. Miss Hawkins. but you have beaui
- full FOOT so I've been told. Nj
Sappy-and perhaps yon will excns
me for saying that you ought TO &C
papa's."-EeU York Herald
There may be corners in wheat. b
this won't disturb the serenity OF u
Young man who. with bis best girl. 81
= in the Sunday twilight glow Of the pa
lor aud imAgines he has . corner
- sugar. Phslad<iphiG Times.
IHl Ethel-Did understand ron to u
that YOU were in IN auction store
Dir. Slowgo-''Why. no; how cou
you have formed that ideaS" b
cause you say you are going 20 ma
, times before you go."-aeD 10
Herald
s.. Peter-"Whos osars your App
r~nt-..An humble Texas TaInmAkeF