The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1891-09-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

It's wise hen that knows her own
set.
No man is a hero 10 his valet. He is
a martyr.-PNck.
The cyclone actually takes a town by
storm WASHINGTON Star.
Merit may win, but it makes awfully
slow time.-Elmira Gazette.
The smaller the country circus tine big
ger the posters.-NeO York Journal
When baby gets a feather in its
throat the mother feels down in the
mouth.
~ hear Gus is going to get married."
eyes" 'Is he in love2" "No; in debt"
Punch.
The saddest feature of the day we
celebrate is the week we recuperate.-
Chicago Mail.
Do not imagine that the young lady
means yes when she mods after midnight
--Dallas Ne,os.
The music of drum is always on tap,
usually with 'stick" in it, Biagtam-
ton Republican.
The man who carries his heart on his
sleeve doesn't display an equal amount
of brain.-Puck.
"He sat on my joke" "That was
safe." "Safe2" "Yes. There wds1't
any point to it."--Judy. )
When man overfows nth animal
spirits the animal represented is generally
of the long -eared kind.-Puck.
The girl with money can have any
thing she likes. She can also have any
thing she loves.-Blmira Gazette.
"Young Chumpleigh Is quite versa
tile, isn't hel" 81 guess SO; he never
does anything right. "-NetO York Press.
When the plumber sends in his bill
the dancing and paying the piper are
done by the same person.-PaitadelphiG
Times.
1t is natural to suppose that when you
stroke a cats back the wrong way the
poor animal doesn't feel fur straight. -
LO1OeU Courier.
The words "suustroke" aud "nerv-
Gus prostration" cover multitude of
plain drunks in the summer season.
Washington Post.
A man never knows how lucky he is
in escaping jury duty until he sees the
newspaper pictures of the unlortunates
who are caught.-Puek.
Marie-"lIarry married that rich Miss
Firetung. He made a great catch"
Julia-"Yes, aud from all accounts he
has been catching it ever since. "-TruM.
He failed for half million, straight
And this was most surprising;
But not SO much, as was the sum,
lie made by compromising.
Washington star.
ais young Mr.. Gotham familiar with
Browning in any degree2" "Familiar"
repeated the Boston maid. "He IS
positively hippant. "-EdiaaapOliS Jour
nal.
Author-"These two books-I hardly
know what to call them-are waiting
for titles" Joblots-"Why don't you
call them American Heiresses, thenl''-
Hdrcard LampooR.
she-"oh, yesl quite believe there's
fool in every family. Don't you" He
-"Well-eI-my opinions rather
biased. You see, Pm the only member
of our family. .n-Judy.
al am not going away for the sum"
mer, said the tired looking man to an
inquisitive friend. 81 am going to stay
right here and let the summer come to
me as usual. ~ Washington Post.
She (trustingly)-"Am the only girl
you ever loved, Jackl" Juck-"Why-
yes-certainly, my dear-that is to say
the only girl | ever loved rs love
you, my darling "-S3meroal Journal.
Mudge--'Is it foolish for a young man
without capital to indulge in the hope. Of
getting rich" Wickwire-ssYes, that's
so. The better way is for him to quit
hoping aud so to work. ."-IadlaaqpoHl
Journal.
She (ishing for a complementary
you think my voice needs cultiyationl"
lie (anxious to pay her a compliment)-
''Not at all; not at all Cultivation
couldn't Improve voics like yours. -
NeO York. Press.
"And so you think she no longer
loves you" a know it. She used TO
let me help her on with her ten button
gloves, aud lately she has worn nothing
but the one-button kind. Oh, can take
a hint. st. Joseph Ne,os.
S. Pongo-"Can you let me have $40
for week or sol" G. Enerous
only got nine, but you can haze that if
it will do" S, Ponge-''All right, I'll
take that aud then you will owe me
dollar. '-HrUard Laupo0a.
"Was that your brother walking with
you in the park yesterday asked the
old gentleman joeosely. "My brother.'
she replied. "Iudeed it wasn't, aud
what's more, he's not going TO be if
cen help it. t.'-PhiadeLphia Times,