The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-02-24
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN Hercules had finished his twelve labors,
there was not wanting plenty of people who
said, what? only twelve -Fltegende BlGet-
ter.
MENDIcANr IN NEWSPAPER oFFIcE-Say, boss,
got any change to spare?
No. I'm the exchange editor.-Spokane
Spokesman.
81 believe you Presbyterians don't keep Lent,
Miss Dawronce!m
II just guess we do 1 always have a new
suit for Easter. PUCK.
HoRRIFIKD PARENT-4nd you dare to tell me
You kissed that young Hankinson last evening !
Weeping Daughter-The-the mean thing
k-kissed me first!-ChicGgo Tribune. i}-lsl
did the grocers make anything on sugar ~
asked Lamkin.
yes" said Broker Margin, those who had
any sand did. Boston Commercial Butt tin.
WHAT is your pension claim based onH"
81 lost four legs during the war"
You were quadruped, eh?"
Nope. Three of 'em wero cork. "-Hdrper's
Bazaar.
McCoRxLE-Noah's ia nily was not an aristo-
cratic one.
McCrackle ttentatively)-No
McCorkle-No; they were not in the SWIM
Brooklyn Life.
IT MET Mr.. Knickerbocker in a shabby coat
awhile ago. He has not failed, has herr
10, no; he only puts that coat on when he
goes to the assessors to give in his property for
hooSoSAhVhSs
He SAID his mind was quite made up,
Whereat a cad officious
Remarked, he'd always thought his mind
Was more or less fictitious.
-Hdrper's Basar
"wHAT is Smith doing now?''
''He is travelling with circus
Pretty hard work, isn't itY''
mo; he has nothing to do except to s lex his
head in the lions mouth twice a day. "-Teros
Stftin1s.
HE-Idon't think the world is exactly fair to
men.
She-why not?
He-Well, the man who has head get ahead,
while the man who hasn't one doesn't.-Brook-
Iyn Life.
"HAvE you press club in this town." eked
literary visitor of the editor of the Slabville
20, no, :" replied the editor "We kill poets
by stabbing them with the Office towel. Chi
cdgo Inter Ocean.
BROWN Are you sure this is good sticking
mucilage?
Stationer-You betl
Brown-Ever use itS
Stationer-No; but bottle once broke in NV
pocket-Hdrper's Bazdr.
NEVADA, with a population about one-fourth
that of Omaha. has resolved to hold aloof from
the world = fair If the Chicago Board of Trade
does not withdraw its anti-free coinage petition
to congress. If the Columbus exposition man
agement survives this shock. it is capable of
standing anything Omaha World Herald.
OFFICE Boy crushing breathlessly into sick
room)-Mr. Lowmood, is it true that you've got
a genuine carbuncle?
Mr.. Lowmood-Alas, too true
ONCE Boy-Well, Mr.. Goldsnoot sent me over
to tell you he'n pay the highest market price
for it iii amt of color.-Jetoelers' Weekly
CLARE-Why do you refuse Mr. Hardheadf
Maud--I couldn't be happy with such man
as that. He is too intensely practical. He has
no faith.
mo faithS"
mo. He doesn't believe in any thing. Why.
he doesn't even believe in dresms."-Good
NeInS.
JoBBs-why don't you bank your money.
Uncle Josh. instead of keeping it In stocking:
Uncle Josh-Huhl l hant got much money.
Besides, I'm afraid Of banks.
Jobbs--Why, the banks are perfectly safe
They won't break.
Uncle Josh Tant the banks I'm afraid of so
much as tbs them tellers. If put my money
in m they tell the assessors, and then how'd
swear my tax off!-ChtcGoo Times