Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1891-06-28
MEN AND WOMEN.
THEIR GOOD AND BAD QUALITIES
BROUGHT INTO COMPARISON.
Observations on the Married state and
How Wives and Husbands
should lie Chosen.

bling his promise TO tell us his standard
for wife. Our gratitude is not, however
duo him because OF the help ke gives in
the wise selection of a life companion. but
rather because he shows how hopeless it is
TO suppose that wisdom can have anything
to do with the matter. ! confess that
sometimes twinges of conscience have fol-
lowed after reading the tervid cxhortations
Of my good friend to matrimCny lest the
| charge OF nOn-peTformance Of social duty
urged against the bachelor might be true,
| but Benedict removes this apprehension.
If the prerequisites to the proper selection
/ OF wife "a stated by him are to be re-
garded then IT Is not extrGvagant 70 INSIST
/ that not one man out OF ten ought
( 20 marry. The essential characteristics
( OF good wife enumerated by Bene-
| dict are briefly, health, proper age. good
| temper, beauty, goodness. education, re-
/ finement. industry, common sense. and in
/ terentially all the other virtues. This would
/ be n combination and a form indeed.
Where IL the man who has the conceited
/ tcmerltY TO rate himself so high as TO be a
/ fit companion for such daughter Of the
/ eodsi WHAT right have " such fellows as
We crawling between Heaven and earth I"
/ To seek an angel as mate TO our degraded
/ humanity Indeed, we dare TO whisper
what bore 10 the ordinary man would
/ union with such perfection be He who
/ goes IN quest Of tho ideal wife depicted by
/ Benedict had better provide himself with
/ scrip ana staff aud sandal shoon aud
| grd his Ions for long journey. And
! even ii there he in mountain or vale such
! = rare and radiant maiden 1t is more than
/ probable that the many seaTchers would
/ not recognize the true princess were he %
/ meet her.
/ Benedict lays much stress upon physi-
| cal traits. and his tests Of soundness and
4 value are very much those Of the cattle
dealer. lie seems to eliminate the emo
1 tlons entirely. If man were simply a healthy
/ half Drained animal with no disturbing as
/ piratIOns and .unwholesome imagInlDgs
beyond the reaches OF his soul" he
might follow BencdiCts ADVICE and choose
/ q wife az safely rs the lion does his tawny
mate. But as 1t Is passion. and not per
ccpt'on Of hygicnic requirements. Is IN
most instances the load-stone that unites
man and woman in the electric ring OF
/ matumony. The hand of love trembling
with the pulse of restless emotion holds no
/ balances. No, except to the weather
beaten few who have passed through
the storms Of youth and passion aud
are now floating in the tldeloes
! dolorous sea oi middle age, seek
ing a consort for the ultimate harbor
from purely mcrccnary motives. Bcnc-
/ diets sober preccpts are futile, and cannot
/ III the nature Of Things have any influence.
/ niess-uy benevolent friend was IN has
youth blessed with head much wiser or
/ heart far colder than tho average man
! possesses, these cut fmd-dTicd rules tor
! choosing wife which be now gives us
would have been TO him as an Idle wind IN
those years when the music of q Inaidcn's
voice was more TO hlm than oil the
/ ranged seasons Of the world"
Am ! open to the charge of fatuOus
folly when ! insist that there can be no
/ rule for choosing wife; that love alone
/ i guide, and that the square and compass
cannot take the place Of tine burning
/ heart a the emblem Of that power whlcn
/ still, as IN days OF old, makes the world 90
round b.
An Address to Girls on " Counting Men"
NIcEsBUEG, Miss. June 10, 1891.
/ To the EdtOr Of the D,SDdlct:
/ "Benedict" in his Advice TO Young
Men IN Selecting Wives" has suggested
that some wise matron viii tell the girls
what sort Of a man to marry" that we
NAV have an active market this fall.
A. | am not a writer, neither wise
mqtrOn, il IS possible that | presume to an
. extent, when. with trepldatlOn, / attempt
the initiative III opening the tall market.
Now, girls. ! trust yUu Will gather around
I
vice | viii give, and IN order to meet
+ " BcncdICi " hit 60 hit would say TO You
/ by al means marryn healthy man, tor after
D tie romance of marriage romance beng
a. WAYS part Of marriage with glri) has
/ passed aud YOU begin TO realize that mar
RED lie j. very earnest and practical there
can bo nothing more DISTRESSING to wo-
man mentally and physically than 10 have
a sick husband.
You VIII toll and toll to please and I'M
less he Is yerltable saint Just dropped
from the portals of Heaven down through
the blue ethereal sky to earth, the rarity
Will be when YOU please.
An uus0und body makes an unsound
mind, and although he may love you very
foudly. very truly, the mind will succuml
I 20 the physical condition after while and
he Will bc so cross that you VIII wonder
seriously if happiness IN marriage - q
myth. If you are healthy seek the healthy
COMPANION. A wise and judlclOus mar
rage makes happiness.
2. \ nan too much your senior viii make
/ YOU unhappy; his tastes are not yours
| his habits are too old for you; you are
Young and would sometimes like an eve
/ ning from home with friends, or an eve
n,ng at a concert, or such like: your senior
of twelve or fifteen years comes III WITH
All. dear. ain too tired to go; love the
0uiet of home so much more" And pull
ING out the newspapers, he draws on MS
glasses and begins 10 read. Alter winnie
he reads out some passage IN which he Is
much Intersection free coinage, tarlt
reform, and so On-and you, poor little
disappointed wife, with a face u martyr
would wear, sit still and listen-that Is, II
| YOU are good wife; If not. you VIII teel
tempted, may be, TO raise the broom-han-
die. No. marry man near your own age,
even If he be couple of years your junior
YOU will have more thoughts III common
more inclination To ENJOY life. \ man five
or six years older will be of the best age
but do not marry man too OLD.
3. 4 man III counting girl gives her very
little opportunity TO Judge of his temper
He Is ever on the alert TO guard against
your gaining an insight INTO the true cha
racter. But, girls, DO always on the qr
rire Yourself, and you Will find him out
Little things will convince you. II he al
WAYS seeks the most comfortably chalr II
the room and throws himself into IT wltl
"a kind of give-doWn look, watch out; he
ls without energy. ii he rarely brings you
little nice things, never oheIs 10 treaV you
TO "ice-cTeam,o a drive, &c, you may
wager he IS stingy. If he does these thlng'
through policy, watch his dress. ! once
knew a Young man we'll TO do III clrcum
stances who invited young lady 10 go tC
nm entertainment, and that evening II
rained just enough 10 make 1t dlsagreeabi'
for walking, especially with pretty white
dress ON. He came for her, ana she, eX
pecting he would have carriage. de
scended to the parlor to find him waiting
smilingly, and no hack, and, what wa
woise. had denied himself Il par OF klC
gloves, wearin. white cotton gloves. Sh,
said he looked so much like pall-bearel
that she declined TO go with him. She sald
he was stingy, and he is to this day.
4. Notice a man 10 see if ne Is conslde-
rate of mother and sister; If so, he will make
a considerate husband and the woman
who obtains a considerate husband gain;
jewel that will sparkle in the home, ana
make home an Eden. "heh you maze
your toilet for your lover. after you have
turned and twisted little bow first tc
thus side then to that in order that 1t may
be becoming and please him., # he does
not notice il, and IN some delicate way
refer to it be assured that amer marriage
-. t,;l bolf tho dav make VOul