The Irish standard., 1891-06-20
FUN FOR CLERKS.

FUN FOR CLERKS.
ssne Curious Things That Iiven Up ths
1Ionotony Of Office Work.
"a business Office is ordinarily imag.
ined to be the abode Of commonplace.
but my own experience is that events
more interesting, If not thrilling. are
met with every day in such commer>
cial quarters" said the clerk to a
Washington Star reporter.
''There is man in the employ OF our
firm who is thoroughly picturesque
character. He is rarely quite sober,
and yet never otherwise than jovial and
with entire control Of his wits. It is
only in occasional unconventionalities
of behavior that he betrays the effects
of alcohol About three months ago he
remarked to the janitor Of our building
an important functionary who has
charge of all the furniture and other
equipments of the rooms-th at he was
dissatisfied with his desk and wanted
another one. The janitor failed to re-
spond to the demand, and Mr.. Wilkins
repeated it on three subsequent oc-
casions in the mildest possible way.
though without result.
zone day last week Wilkins came
into the office after lunch, bowed to me
sn1ilingly as he passed my door, and en-.
tered his own room, which he occupies
with one other clerk. Presently heard
the most astounding racket from that
quarter, crash following crash, and.
looking around the corner through his
door, beheld him engaged in making
series of running leaps from the
farther end of his apartment, landing
each time with both feet upon his desk.
He is large man, weighing probably
two hundred and twenty-five pounds.
and at each jump the desk perceptibly
weakened. 1t was table-shaped at
fair, and presently both legs at one end
broke short off in response to an attack
of unusual impetus. The other clerk
was in the room at the time, and he was
writing away at the desk Immediately
adjoining as If nothing whatever out of
the way was happening.
81 retreated to my room, and a min.
ute later out strobe Wilkins with his
hat on. An hour later-his work takes
him much out of doors-he came back,
bowed cheerily as he passed my door
and entered his own quarters. Almost
Immediately there was the same un-
earthly racket as before. l peeped, and
saw that the desk was standing on
two legs, the high end against the wall,
and Wilkins was taking running Jumps
lat it from the other side OF his apart
ment. He said nothing, but simply
went at it as if it were TN ordinary ex.
ercise Of gymnastic nature, while the
clerk at the next table scrubbed away
and appeared to pay no attention what
ever. Finally the two remaining legs
gave way, first one and then the other,
upon which the destroyer put on his hat
and again took his departure.
SIT was two hours this time before
he returned, nodding pleasantly as he
passed my door, and again the racket
was resumed. It was kept up longer
this time, and when looked saw him
!gleefully kicking the fragments which
had composed the table top around the
room. There was not a piece Of the
desk left that was more than a foot
long. The other clerk was still writ
ing as before. Finally Wilkins paused,
as if out of breath, and just then the
janitor came through the hallway.
: "'Towels,' remarked Wilkins, gently,
addressing him, 4 asked you to remove
this desk some days ago, because !
didn't like it. Oblige me by doing so
now
$50 the janitor brought his broom.
swept up the fragments and took them
away. I never saw desk moved in
that way before, but it seemed to be
much easier than the usual fashion.
best in the Office.
): 'tBut that is nothing to little ex.
:perience had with Boston cores
pendent of our firm, who came on here
for a business consultation. When he
first arrived at the office he was not
'visibly affected by stimulants, but in
the course Of long conversation.
which was necessitated between him
and myself by his errand, he went out
so frequently for drinks Of brandy that
his remarks became progressively un-
,,intelligible. knew it was brandy,
because the smell Of it is agreeably
familiar to me, though do not care for
it at secondhand, and he did not once
invite me to join his rotations.
+, incidentally to the task we were
striving to execute it was necessary for
JUS to look over certain advertisements
in great many newspapers. un-
folded them one by one, while he
breathed over my shoulder. and, as fast
as they were finished with, thrust them
under my desk until the entire space
beneath was crowded with copies of
the Evening Star, and other dailies
from Baltimore, Philadelphia, New
York, and elsewhere. At this time the
Boston correspondent had become SO
mingled as to his ideas that had
difficulty in making much from what
he said. He lighted fresh cigar from