The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1891-08-06

51D 'SoOU.H - iOpfleCOr: IL am showing
Madame Laura, the giantess, and The
NAL next door has got the monster
COW, Iris. He waits his opportunity
and as soon as Ibegin to call out
Walk up, gentlemen, and have a look
at Madame Laura = the fellow
Davis at; the top Of his voice, the
latest beast in the world, and only
twenty kreuzer, gentlemen!'
then they all set up laughing, and
make a rush for his BOOTH -Garten.
laube KaIender.
Buslness-like.
Editor-'sWhat remuneration YOU
are to receive for your story, YOU
want to know? l am going to meas.
ure it up directly, and then I'll tell
YOU"
Authoress-"Horrible! Do you ex.
pect me to sell my productions by
Observation-Disclosures perhaps YOU
are accustomed to getting paid by
Weight!"-Der Ulk.
Illustrating His Lecture. s-.
Professor, lecturing: GIN conclusion,
l would instance mental alteration
a mania to which the learned are fire.
subject, and occasionally make
themselves ridiculous without know.
ing It," After saying which the worthy
professor toOk-instead of his hat
the lampshade from off the bracket
beside him, put it on his head, and
walked out OF the room. s~
ConVenient-Tunn
Among the passengers in the train
was an elderly lady and her pretty
young niece, also a young gentleman
The train had passed through
several tunnels, when the maiden aunt
said
"My dear, we are coming to a. Ions
tunnel; you had better sit over or
this side" H..
Pretty Niece: "No auntie, Just let
me stop where I am. One more
tunnel and I am engaged.
Very Careless.
Prompter, rushing in excitedly
''Wingley, the supe, has eloped this
minute with all the unparalleled blue
Hussar' jewels, the costly set o.
cleopatra diamonds, and King Solo
mons best crown"
Manager, sternly: 'It was you1
place to guard the jewel chest, Antonio
l shall have to deduct from you1
next weeks salary.
~ Terrible Accident.
Riggs: "My wife had a. queer acci
dent befall her the other week. A:
she was walking along the street {
mans hat blew off and struckher in tn
eye. 1t cost me S., for a. doctors
bill" IT,.
Briggs: ooh, that's nothing. My
wife was walking along the street thu
other day, and as she passed mill
mer's a bonnet in the window struck
her eye, and it cost me SIS. r.. -
r.. How Did He Get In?
Dinwiddie, Of Pittsburgh heal
you've been travelling, Piggery.
Piggery, Of Chicago,-Yes; been te
Europe. Visited Berlin, Paris anc
other centres.
DinWiddie-Indeed! I thought Ger
many and France refused admission
to American hogs.-Chronicle-T ele
graph.
Medical Critics.
Mr.. Snoball-Whut KANT under
stand about desc yere doctors il
whut's de use oh desc yere post NAV
tenn Examinations. Whut does yc
t'ink oh dem, Eph?
Mr.. Lilywhite-'Pears to me dey
must be fools. Dey might know II
wouldn't be no use to cut a pussor
up arter he dead. Dey nebber cure
him den.-Munsey's Weekly.
Had Never Been Told So Before.
Convict-Excuse me, ma Fam, you
dropped your handkerchief.
Lady Visitor-Thank you. You are
very good w. ..@'
Convict (eagerly)-say, ma Fam, you
couldn't manage to persuade the gov
nor OF that, somehow, could yer?"-
Somerville Journal. .-..
Time to Stop Pooling.
DR.. Gruff ito fashionable PATIENT
It's merely the same old ailment, my
dear madam.
Mrs. Style-Oh, no doctor; I really
am i'll now!
DR.. Gruff-H'm! If that really is so
I'll have to change the whole course OF
northumberland Leslie's Illustrated
Cook Had to Go.
clearinghouse keeper: "Ishall have
to give you notice to leave, Jane.''
Cook: "Why, mum? Don't I cook
we'll enough?"
clearinghouse Keeper: eyes. you
cook too well. You make the dishes