St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1891-07-26
hNINNOCENT ABROAD
Niles Hastings Spends a Half
Day at the Fair
Grounds.
He Is an Eminently Proper
Young Man and Seorns
Gambling.
Later On He Buys a Short
Horse and Gets SWamped
Hedging,
And Is Finally Done to a
Turn by a Jocks
Tip.


in the words akin to that which creeps
up the spinal of the average small boy
when some one speaks of the Fourth of
July in his presence. There is rap
ture which takes possession of you, COM
pared to which Byron's lonely shores
and painless woods are not entitled to
seatat the same table. And that eXhilara-
ton and that rapture L felt on that
memorable day, the 22d inst, when my
employer whispered gently among the
boys that they were entitled to half
holiday because of Derby day.
Half holidays in the establishment
where put in time at an abbreviated
salary are a luxury that L often i'll
dulge the hope for, but my qualification
rarely extends beyond the indulgence.
And so it came that when p. m. OF the
dav in question arrived and | found my
self speeding along towards the union
depot behind one of Tom LOwry's
Sprague motors. fairly reVeled III an
intOXIcatiOn of mad delight. At the de-
pot all was hustle and excitement. Peo-
pie were crOWding and jOStiing one an
other, but all most goOd-naturedly, IN
their efforts to secure rOund-trip fares
fair grounds. | was not long in
Joining the thrOng, and it was not many
moments when l found myself lodged
intact with 3O0-pOund German lady in
front of ME and a heavyweight col0red
barber behind me, the latter sweating
like pOrcupipe, and every little while
giving vent 10 loud outlaws of laughter
that kept everybody in good humOr.
After a number of fruitleSS efforts to
eXtricate myself from my perllouS posi-
ton ! resolved to resign myself to fate
and trust to fOrtuitnus circumstance
to accomplish the deSired-for object. 1t
came sooner than l expected, in the ma
tuTe of a surging wave of humanity that
waited me by the ticket seller so quickly
that | scarce realized what struck me
until l found myself free once more
with a handful of crumpled paper in
my right hand. The money l had held
in my left hand was gone. AS the
ticket agent had said nothing in my
winged flight by him | reasoned that he
had
Secured the Stuff
l was well pleased with the accom-
modatiOns OH the cars. After the treat
ment had Just received, a ride on a
wheelbarrOw would be desirable
L
ened to that without auy intention of
giving the barrow the worst of 1t. l had
a perch on the water cooler. and from
this eminent height good opportunity
was afforded me of surveying the swell
teTing mass of humanity; and | thought
TO myself, like Innocent Kidd in the
"ParlOr Match" what a little thing it
takes to make some people happy"
For once, at least, distinctions of caste
were set aside. Rich and poor, white
and black, Jew and Gentle mingled
together in one common sweat, and
jabbered away in friendly cOnfab to the
music of the rafting of the rails. One
would have supposed the train was
bound for the FitZSimmOnS-Hall pa
viliOn to witness the great mill, judging
from the general trend of the remarks.
1t was nothing but fight all the way
along the route. 1t was FitZSimmOnS
here and Hall there. Then some one
would curse the governor, and another,
soto YOce, damn Tom Cochran. After
a while Sheriff Bean would form the
subject for a mild dissertation, fol-
lowed with few remarks touching the
broad, generous spirit of Mayor Smith.
And so the time was spent till sudden
lar announced that the train had reached
its destination, and gO-aS yOu-pleaSe
walk was in Order for the grand stand.
Ii took me some time to come off the
perch, so cramped were my limbs and
so bruised my general anatomy. but l
managed with considerable of an effort
to pull myself together and press ON to
the goal of my ambition.
1t was nearly g O'clock when l halted
within the grounds and threw glance
up towards the grand stand to size up
the audience that was gathering in huge
black chunks. Being an old resident,
] hoped to recognize many familiar
faces (aOOut two out of every three
saw, but in this l was dismally diSap-
pointed. Out of the %, 600 people pres
ent, l venture to say there were not
a dozen who paused to bid me the
time of day or ask me how | was
or if l was going to the fight.
Have you ever noticed that the larger
the crowd at any given place the fewer
the people you know? Without attempt
ing to account for this phenomenon.
further than to state the query, | will
hasten on with my narrative. l think
1t was about this time that | resolved
mentally to take stock. did so, and
found balance of $3.50 to my credit,
which thrust so deep down in
My Pants Pocket
that | thought it would be impossible to
get at it save by diSrObing, which l had
no intention of doing at that moment.
had a double motive in thus disposing
of nv little all--firSt to guard against
anv incursiOn that might in an insane
moment make on the balance for bet
ting purposes; and secondly, to stall of
the light-hngered gentry who are al
ways alert on occasions ''Where two or
three are gathered together" Betting
Me bet pardon the grammar.
l always use the objective prOnOun
when | want to emphasize a remark.
If YOU can imagine for moment ID. K.
Moves and Rev. Mr.. LandOn mdulging
in a scrap to a Knockout with pillows
stuffed with whiskers, you might con-
ceiye that | would think of such a thing
as making a wager. Indeed, nothing
could be further from my thoughts as
wandered down in the direction of the
''boOkies," who were beginning to lay
their odds on the favorlte for the first
race Here was a sight that one rarely
witnesses in the West, though perhaps
most common around the big tracks in
the East. More than twenty of these
so-called bookmakers stood at their
posts, with chalk in hand, calling out
the odds, and urging the people tC
hasten with their bets before the race
was on. There was no need of urgi ne
that crowd, which pressed about the
stands, and finally threw the money
over one another'S heads in their efforts
to get in at the best possible figures
Six to one. eight to one, ten to one
twenty to one were checked w
i'm rapid succession, and at every
new quotation there would be mighty
rush and a flourish of greenbacks by
the dead game sports. "A fool and hi
money are easily parted, | thought. a!
] took in the reckless and wanton eX
travagance displayed by the poor, mis-
guided fools around me. About thi:
time the foot of a horn announced thu
calling of the horses for the race. and
shOuldered my way out into the opel
air. for had come to witness the SpOr
and not to waste my money. By ant
by, 1 noticed a couple of horses come
Looping down the track. They passed
the stand where | stood at gait tina
made them look like hobby horses.
U0Ddprnd If this tVoC tho rapa and fhpcl