The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1891-08-02
THE SHADOWGRAPHER.

lue 6TAVelor IRON Helena TO NOW YORK
if he travels by the Chicago, 81. Paul and
Kansas City will ride through three states
where he cannot buy a drink on the train,
North Dakota, Iowa and Ohio. In the first
two states there il An absolute prohibitory
law, which, however, does not. always pro-
hibit except on the train. In Ohio there is
a high license law which requires a license
SO high that the railway companies prefer
prohibition. As may be imagined the din
ing car conductor in these states is treated
with the most delicate consideration fol-
lowed BY a pleasant request which is politely
declined. Then there is a formal demand
and = firm refusal and finally the siege ends
with a grand bluff and final capitu-
lation on the part of the thirsty traveller.
The dining car conductor in North Dakota
is a bigger man than Henry Willard. He
can be neither corrupted nor ssducsd and
he is quite aware of his Importance. When
the west bound train CROSSES the Red river
he rises two inches in height, his shoulders
are thrown back and he changes his cap for
another two sizes larger. He knows that
the poor travellers will come over to his side
of the fence before the day is over and he
appreciates the value of a oinch. Among
the travellers on the overland express from
st. Paul last week were three
raw British tourists and a ser
want quite as raw az his master
They were very English and very fresh
and labored under the hallucination
that they were the only passengers on the
train. Their conversation was confined to
cries of "'Awkins bring the brandy and
soda" and 'Awkins produced at frequent
intervals until all were we'll sizzled. Then
they retired after a round criticism of these
bloody American railway carriages"
Whatever their faults may be they certainly
were good drinkers. Unfortunately they
arose in the morning and found the hamper
empty. Then 'Awkins returned from the
dining car to order drinks he brought the
information that none could be purchased.
Sir Harold Dugildiddy then rushed in hot
haste to the dining car, followed by his two
friends.
me good fellow" he said to the con-
ductor, "My man 'Awkins says we can't
have brandy and soda. How is that?"
THAT is because we ars in North Dako-
ta," explained the conductor.
And are we not in the associated states
yeti"
Eyes, you are in the United States, but
you are also in North Dakota"
"And what is North Dakota2"
THAT is a state"
well, me good man, then give US three
brandys and soda, and be soon please"
"Look here, you chappies are getting too
gay. Now you don't get any drinks till we
get over the Montana line, seer"
But, me good fellow, we can't wait"
"Well, you'll have to drink alkaline
water to-day. guess that's good enough
for yon anyway"
But, you impudent man. why can we not
have drinks! We have money!"
well, because the law here is apin it
see? Now. don't bother me any more"
Such bloody impotence from a RAILWAY
piped in another of the trio. ~
cawnt understand it,"
And l thought this United States was
one country" said another,
well, this America is a bloody moor
anyhow" said the first speaker "a
they tramped back to the sleeper.
wouldn't them jays cook your" WAS the
concluding remark of the conductor to the
head waiter as the dialogue was finished.
~
Mr.. henry A. Root. tho versatile and
genial representative of the Davis will con-
.estants, came over from Butte Yesterday.
de says there is absolutely no truth in the
that Andrew j. Davis loft a will.
~
A Helena mother who thinks her bow is
Is bright AZ any of them writes the follow
ng letter to the Shadowgrapher:
II notice that you sometimes print smart
'aylngs of little boys and girls, so | THOUGHT
would tell you of a remark of CIR little
He is only five years old. but his