The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1891-11-27

Unkul PhIl's Fun.

'NNt TUt . VIZ
"Wai, Wal, l vany YUM.
Han't had sum fun,
H,nce wroit them vuses tother nigh,
wnlcn everybody thinks is number one.
!sposed when w,ote um
Everybody would call me fool,
FOR no nothin about readin and spen
ana never went much to school
But where the Joke coined in
Don't you see!
When they talked who wrote INN
Nobody III ught twas me-"
mus spake the poet some eight months ago
nut now ! surmse he didn't then know
dheJrn he'd have ere his words were cool
or in TACT that to all he'd soon be fool
80 nof as brcbhet he now comes to view
| having only men builded better far than he knew
And now while his actions we kindly would trace
ror convenience we'll liken II all to a race
10 himseY this race has ere been pride
And SO IN beginning his Points we describe
hes nigh Ger the shoulder. about sixteen two,
opheaded is he, as the bit he doth chew
no spavlns nor rngbones his legs do adorn
DeeP cneSted, dark named, with back rather long
ana 7oH.e MT IN motion it may we'll be said
lhat In his appearance he is Thoroughbred
But when he is started from out his repose
MS movements, the faults in his actions disclose,
his gait Is mnsteady-a sort Of a MARBLE
Ana when going fast Is really hobbe.
Without wasting time we'll get to the fan
Telling how 1t was fought, by whom it was won,
Other names Of this racer Of late they do tell
BUT when he was entered 's7Oas onLy as. L."
Without any scoring they soon the word get
And on the long course their faces are SET
S. l.. starts off with confident grace
But soon fiuds need Of faster pace.
And reaching forward with lcosened rein
he seeks for himself all advantage to gain
Forgetting its simply matter Of BRAN.
From the hrst heat distanced, he homeward came
put 7oeH rn66ed do70n, he started again
Though this time under another name
Now the judges soon saw the curious face
winch had marked 5. l.. in the former race
But all decided rnse not to mind
Because as before he was far behind.
And thus Of the race. two heats were now done
But neither Of them had rs. L." "PhH" won.
Since his course as a racer seemed likely to fail
The heart Of his driver did apparently quail
For fhil was Withdrawn and it may be inferred
That then to his driver the thought had occurred
That too heayy jockey is often loss
And that in this case he'd DER driven the horse.
And SO "Unkul Phil was turned omt to grass
In rest and repose the summer to pass
But now in the fall-rather early indeed
SO anxioHs rs he to deyelop mere speed.
He's brought on the track to be put into trim
In hopes thereupon final honors to win,
For it is quite possible luck may arrive
As the race is decided by "best three in ive."
His jockey meanwhile by gentle disguise
10 the public seeks ever to advertise
That when together they two do ban
They are invincible to God and to man.
The driver Of course in the pools doesn't bet
But through the press he handles his pet,
Thus constant companions become horse and man
And the courage Of each the other doth fan.
improvement is noted in step and in gait,
The DRYER has slightly 'essened his weight
And It's whispered that "Unkul' has actually been
full mile, in brivate in exactly 40. .Gs-.
Of the former opponen. he has little fear
And pretends to be eager for him to appear
So though for some months he's been hauling pillow
He will not for that disappoint phillip" now.
The race is then called and Phil dyaws tie toke
His feelings indeed he can scarcely control
For his summers repose has made him to feel
That he with his victor can now safely deaI
They get the word-they're off indeed
Phil starts a little in tie lead
They're at the quarter, wheel to wheel
And swiftly onward now they steal.
The other forward leads the race
And now between them opens space
s. when they We covered half the mile
Phil follows after sfng2ef2e.
In dust he's almost lost to view q
And though not gum. he must it chew
He struggles hard,-ty0fS, breaks and runs
But after all no nearer comes. e.
The other With increasing gait
Completes the mile in Just a.o8
Some minutes later Phil comes in
And when the crowd makes fun Of him
1t really makes him feel so sore
That forthwith he begins to roar,
And says, "Ae's false, he is not/aiy
To gIve his name he does not dare
m Just as fast and good and true
Does not my name show this to you
l We lived among you all these years
Come, say I'm right and dry my tears
The crowd looked ON in blank surprise
But soon addressed him in this wise
You We dared another show his name
While twice yovve dodgsd upon the same
Y ou hypocrt, you worse than fool
Where would you stand upon this rule? -
Now to his action we'll give no name :" FT"tN
'Hes only beaten yon at toHr oaOn game.
IN private Fhil you your races have run
And only thereby have anything won
FOR when with others you happen to fall
Poa are as a racer Just nothing at all.
Yes, mind Is tie very best measure Of men
.ong may this standard Of judgment rem IN
Though meanaVhHe to you twill surely befall
hat yon cannot then be measured at all
FOUR writings indee do greatly me move
because in themselves so clearly they prove
That something received has causedyou TO squirm
,our anger to rise. your passion to burn
lou resemble in this the gnashing wild boar
nce the more he is hurt the louder AeWroar
10 the very best test Of hoaO badlyyoH/eeI .
S given to all when So freely y0N sgneaI
'e patient, dear Unkul I'm now almost done
md on you for the present the last change is rung
o be sure thereby some pie sure forego
he reason thereof I'll now let you know
good hunters taste il never doth suit
o continue with cannon mosgHifos to sheet
md so for the present you must me excuse
to you my attention to give refuse
low Il you really a6hor my verse
ou surely have only yourself to curse
or in all this writing I've followed the rule
According to his folly to answer fool"
Newbury, Nov. a4th, 1891.