davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
Th1s is am Adyertisemcnt. It


contains no fun nor foolshness, but few
facts that will interest all farmers: Why Go
you let the horns grow on your calves and
then have them sawed off, and as result have
bleeding heads, loss Of appetite, in cows, a
decrease in milk, ana often have
one or more diel We suppose it Is only
because You have not heard Of the
Warranted Dehorning Compound.
1t is positively guaranteed to prevent o calf's
horns from growing, and without injury to
the calf; leaves n perfectly smooth head;
causes no shock to the system; can be used in
fly time, as it makes no raw surface; will keep
for years in any climate-will not freeze. De.
horns at a cost of less than one cent head !;
no after treatment necessary. Our guarantee
is-"Money refunded If it fails !" Any bank
in Newton, Iowa, will tell you our guarantee
is good. If not for sale in your town send
Gl.0O to us by postotilCe money order or bank
draft and We will send at once. Testimonials
sent on application. Manufactured only by f..
Z. Lyday 81 Co., Newton, Iowa. Agents
wanted in each county.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
"Almost a Perfeot Man.

A tall, thinnish man, with silky
pale brown hair, worn long and put
back behind his ears, the high tops
of which bent forward little under
the weight, and thus took on tho
most remarkable air of paying inces.
SAINT attention to everybody and
everything; set far out in front OF
these ears as though it did not wish
to be disturbed by what was heard
o white, wind-splitting face, calm,
beardless and seeming never to have
been cold, or to have dropped the
kindly dew CT perspiration; under the
serene peak OF his forehead a pair oi
larg gray eyes, patient and dreamy,
being habitually turned inward up
on mind toiling with hard alb
stractions; having within him con-
science burning always like a planet;
u bachelor-being a logician; there
fore sweet-tempered, never having
slipped the sour cup of experience;
gazing cOvertly at womankind from
behind the delicate veil otunfamiliar-
ity that lends enchantment; being a
bachelor and a bookworm, therefore,
already old at 40, and a little run
down in his toilets, q little frayed
out at the elbows and knees, little
seamy along the back, little def
Gent at the heels; in pocket poor al
ways, and always the poorer because
of q spendthrilt hab in the matter of
secret charities; kneeling down by
the small, hard bed every morning
and praying that during the day his
logical faculty might discharge its
function logically, and that over all
the operations Of all his other tacul-
ties he might find heavenly grace to
exercise both O logical and q moral
control; at night kneeling down
again to ask forgiveness that, de-
spite his prayer of the morning, one
or more of these same faculties-he
knew them all Familiarity by name,
being q metaphysician-had gone
wrong in manner the most abnor-
NAL, shameless and unforeseen.
Thus, on the whole, man shy and
dry, gentle, loveable, timid, resolute,
forgettul, Temorsetul, eccentric, inn
pulsive, thinking two well of every
human creature but himself; an il.
logical logician, an erring moralist,
q woolGathering philosopher, but,
humanity speaking, almost q perfect
man.-Harper's Magazine.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
sour Little Dot"
From the New York Sun.

fiohi iHe NtW ioTh SuH.
One night as ! came out of thea.
ter in st. Louis saw n number Of
hoodlums hustling an old gray-hair.
ed woman, whose garments showed
poverty, who hung tightly to a pack
age OF some sort she had under her
arm. The boys we're jeering and she
was pleading to be let alone. ] fol-
lowed after, thinking to say some
thing at the right time, and by and
by she sat down on a doorstep. Then
the young Arabs gathered about her
and shouted:
'Give us song, old woman!"
'lf you'll dance us a jig Wen let
you off"
"Open the bundle and let's see
what you've gotp
When on interval of silence came
she replied:
BOYS, come closer around me-.
I've got something here to show
you"
They crowded around her, and
she removed the newspapers which
concealed the object she was
carrying, and then held it up before
them. Had bombshell dropp ed
among them it would not have seat
tered them more quickly. What do
you suppose it was? A bit of board
about three feet long by foot wide,
painted white, and on it in white let
tiers the epitaph.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
A YANKEE vorER.,
Story Of . Kansas County Election IN piSssss
Days.

Story OF Kansas County Election In Pl6Ast1
Days.
The next day, to their great discom-
future, our settlers Numbered upon a
county election. Trudging into Lib
ertyvilie. one OF the new mushroom
towns springing up along the military
road that leads from Fort Leavenworth
to Fort Riley. they found great
crowd Of people gathered around a
Lighthouse. In which the polls were
| open. County officers were to be
chosen, and the pro-slavery men. as
the borderers were now called In this
part OF the country. had rallied 10
great numbers to carry the election
Tor their men. All was confusion and
tumult. Rough-looking men, WE'LL
armed and generally loud-voieed, with
slouched hats and long boards. were
galloping about shouting and making
all the noise possible, for no purpose
that could be discovered. "Hooray
Tor Cap'n Patew was the only intelli.
gible cry that the new corners could
hear; but who Captain Pate was, and
why he should be hurrahed for, nobody
seemed to know. He was not a candi-
date for anything.
Hello! there's our Woburn friend,
John Clark" said Mr.. Howell. Sure
enough, there he was with a vote in
his hand going up to the cabin where
the polls were open. A lane was
formed through the crowd OF men who
Iounged about the cabin. so that man
going up to the door to vote was oblig-
ed to run tho gantlet, as 1t were, OF
one hundred men, or more. before he
reached the door. the lower half OF
which was boarded up and the upper
hall left open for the election officers
to take and deposit the ballots.
81 don't believe that man has any
right to vote here" said Charlie, with
an expression OF disgust on his face.
why. he came into the territory with
us, only the other day, and he said he
was going up on the Big Blue to
settle, and here he Is trying to vote!"
WELL" said Uncle Charlie, II al.
low ne has just as good right to vote
as any OF these men who are running
the election. I saw some Of these very
men come riding in from Missouri,
when we were one day out OF Quin-
aaro." As he spoke. John Clark had
reached the voting place, pursued by
many rough epithets flung after
him.
He paused before the hali-barricaded
door and presented his ballot. Lets
see yer ticketP' shouted one OF two
men who stood guard, one on either
side of the cabin-door. He snatched
it from Clark's hand, looked at it and
simply said. Hist" The man on the
other side OF the would-be- voter grin.
ned; then bota men seized the Woburn
man by his arms and waist and before
he could realize what was happening,
he was flung up to tho edge OF the
roof that projected over the low door.
Two other men, sitting there grabbed
the newcomer by the shoulders and
passed him up the roas to two others,
who, straddling the ridge-pole, were
waiting for him. Then the unfortunate
Clark disappeared over the top OF the
cabin, sliding down out of sight on the
farther side. The mob set up wild
cheer and some OF them shouted, 1--WE
don't want any Yankee votes in this
yer lection" -Noah Brooks, in St.
Nicholas
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
Fortune Hunters After Her.

Not more than year ago an enor-
mously rich manufacturer died and
left one daughter heiress to cou pie
of millions and as ward to his part
ner. The girl was only 1G and at
school, but hardly two months after
her guardian received not less than
a dozen communications from men
of title in Italy, France and Germany
coolly requesting the girls age, the
exact wording OF her fathers will and
his consent to an immediate alliance.
Two OF them desired to know wheth-
er she possessed beauty, amiability
and what was her religion. The
guardian flung the lovers missive in
the waste paper basket and punctuat-
ed his remarks with anathemas
against European nobility. The
girl is still ignorant OF all the glory
and gallantry brought up for her NC
ceptanco and rejection.-Cor. Chicago
News.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
A Great Mexican Farm,

from the Kansas City Times.
"On one farm in Mexico | saw
enough of the luxuries of life pro
duced to make any man happy" re
marked Mr.. c. S. Wood, of FL Paso
Tex, recently ut the Midland.
"The farm was not large as some
farms go in Mexico, but it was, to
use slang phrase, a sumner
don't think the mind ofma could
imagine a vegetable product that
could not be produced on that farm,
AT any rate, saw growing there
coffee, sugar, rice, potatoes, rye,
wheat, oats, corn, berries, cabbage,
tomatoes, apples, bananas. cocoa,
figs, cocheneal and a dozen other pro.
ducts. On the upper end ofthisifarn
you could find gold, silver, sapphires,
onyx and other precious stones
Some of these articles were not pro
duced in quantities large enough to
pay to market them. but they were
all found there, and all at the service
of the owner OF the land. Oh, i sup
pose the farm contained 10000 OF
10000 acres of land, bat it extend
ed through all temperatures and al
elevations"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
Early Training,

Fond mother-An' phwat did We see
ut the dime museum, me darlint2
Small daughter-Oh. lots O. things,
but the incest was tn egg dance. You
ought to see 1t. A litsle girl put some
eggs in all sorts of queer rows all
over the ioor an then they blinded
her eyes and she danced all over
every whore around among tn eggs
an never broke one.
Fond mother-She must bin
brought up in one o thin quality
flats, all roogs an bric-a-brac. New
York Weekly.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
s. August
Flower

The Hon. J. w. Fennimore is the
Sheriff of Kent Co., Del, and lives
at Dover, the County Seat and Cap
ital of the State. The sheriff is a
gentleman ffty-nine years of age,
and this is what he says: II have
FUSED your August Flower for sew
"eral years in my family and for nv
own use, and found it does me
more good than any other remedy.
have been troubled with what I
call Sick Headache. A pain comes
in the back part of my head first,
and then soon general headache
until l become sick and vomit.
AT times, too, I have a fullness
after eating, pressure after eating
at the pit of the stomach, and
sourness, when food seemed to rise
up in my throat and mouth. When
I" feel this coming on if take a
little August Flower it relieves
me, and is the best remedy have
ever taken for it. For this reason
II take it and recommend it to
others as great remedy for Dys-
"pepsia, &c." O
q. G. GREEN, Sole Manufacturer,
Woodbury., New Jersey, U. 8. A.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
OUR LITTLE Dor.
DIED Der. l7TU. 1886.

1t was the maidstone for a child's
grave-such q headstone as only the
poor and lowly erect over the grave
of n loved one. Plying her poverty
and her sorrow the painter, may
have done his work for nothing.
The boys could read, and as each
one read for himself he turned away
and vanished in the darkness. The
last to go took off his ragged cap to
that headboard, and kindly said:
"We didn't know it, aunty; please
forgive"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
A socisl Gear.

Daue can't understand why
you do not wish me to marry him,
papa. He's the leading man in the
little town where he resides.
Papa-That's just it. The big man
in little town is always fui,-fedged
autocrat He'd compel you to black
his boots for him.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
the Only Retaliated.

Finnegan listening to the clock as II strikes)
what's thatl E1iyen, twelve, thirtane,
iourt- Bad cess It'll Bye CORA, the divil'i
initl TEX that, me foine dmepiece, an that
Mrs. Finnegan- Wusha, hlvin save us
fhclim, fwhat did yez smash the clock fur
lts the ownly wan we havl
Finnegan-Oi don't give contynintal. The
clock strhuck furrst
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
a losing business.

Liner-Do you work fer the Bazoo any
morel
Spacer--No, indeed. You know ! did that
article on tho "Gamblers of New York; for
the Bszoo.
J. ner--Yes.
spacer-Well, / lost $500 getting my points
and got SIG 90 for the article.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Many People Refuse to Take Cod
Liver on on account of its unpleasant taste
This difficulty has been overcome in SCOTS
Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil with HypophOs-
phites. 1t being as palatablc as milk, and the
most valuable remedy known for the treatment
Of Consumption, SSrofula and Bronchitis.
Physicians report our little patients take it
with pleasure. Try Scotts Emulsion and be
convinced
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
Cheop Lands and Homes

In Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama,
Mississippi and Louisiana is the title of a
pamphlet issued by D. G. Edwards, General
Passenger and Ticket Agent Queen and Cres-
cent Route, containing correct county map OF
the states. Mailed free on application 10 aLy
address.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup, for Chill
dren tccthing, softens the gums, reduces indamma-
In Germany good workman can always
make his mark
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

''There is slave, whom We have nut In
prison" Aye and Well keep him there, he was
a tyrant once, but his reign is ovtr, his sceptre
lies in the dust. His name IS Pain, and his
conquerer is the far-famed and world-re-
nowned Salvation Oil.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
The Pink of PrnnrIety.

TIe-Now, Miss Evylin, you wouldn't kiss a
Young man under any circumstance, would
youl
She-Of course not.
He-And whys
She-Because he should take the initiative.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Take the Burlington Route" Z. B. & Q. r,
R. in connection with the Denver Il Rio
Grande r. r. the scenic line of the world,
for all points in New Mexico, Utah, Nevada,
Montana. IDAHO, Washington and California.
Enquire of, or write to f. A. Hunter, Gener-
al Agent, 232 Fourth street, KiPkwOod House
block, Des Noines
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
A Unsuitable Offence.
Toronto Mail

Toronto Mall
The other week a popular yount
man was brought before justice il
Natal, charged with the offence o
kissing q young lady "by force ant
against her will" The young lady
who was very handsome, gave he
testimony in an honest and straight
forward manner, alter which tn,
Judge gave the following decision
"The Court in this case sympathize
with the defendant, and will there
tore discharge him without fine, i'm
prisonment or reprimand, becaus
the Court, whilst this case ha
been in progress, has beef
obliged to hold on to both arms o
his chair to keep from kissing com
plainant bimself."
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
The Reward OF Genius.

Crosby--What is the largest price you ever
got for single poem!
Mr. Rondo-Well, / consider that some verses
that wrote to Miss De Rocks before we we've
married netted me abont $4,000,
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

The power Of music, all our hearts allow, y
but there are few ignorant persons who have
not learned yet. that all colds are cured by
Dr. BULBS Cough Syrup. Buy it and try it, rs
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

"What funny things we see In the Herald
sometimes" remarked the humorous editor
''ies," remarked the managing editor, ''it i:
odd too, that none OF them ever get into the
Joke column"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Patient-Isnt there some mistake about
that bill you sent met No sir; it's correct,
$500. Pitient-To pay that bill viii take cv,
cry cent have; I'll starve. Doctor-WeIl,
dieting is what you nee1.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Private Citizcn--I think those telegraph
poles ought to come down. They are insight.
~ and dangerous. Telegraph Officially s
but think OF the SHADE they give.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
A Pointed Suggestion This.

He (rapturously)-I love the very ground
which 10 trod by your fairy feet.
Sne innocently)- you aware that this
land does not belong TO my fatherl
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Ii you have ever used Dobbins' Electric
during the "a years it has been sold, you
kno,o that it is the best and purest family soap
made. If you haven't tried it, ask your gro
Ger for It noe. There are lots of them. Don't
take imitation
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

When DGby was sick, we gave her CGstoria,
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria,
When sho had Children. she gave them Castoria
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
The DILIGENTLY.

Amicus-l'd like to write my own obituary
and have what would say about myself true
Sarcasticus--rm afraid that what you would
want to say about yourself wouldn't be true.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

OA$H EN- - II -
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figsis taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
ntlyyetpromptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
TEN efectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances,
its many excellent qualities COM
mend it to all and have made it
the most popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in SOC
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept
any substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
- SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. KY. new YORK. nv
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
Winter Excursions.

The Chicago, St. Paul and Kansas City
(DagonaD route has placed on sale with
choice Cf routes to all Winter Resorts of the
South, also tourists and Excursions to Cali
fornia. Address, J. II. Green, general agent
$50 Fourth street, Dcs MONIES, Iowa
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

The man who knows it all is bad enough,
but he isn't circumstance 10 the man who
knew it all beforehand, and who says after
ward that he told va so.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

If you want employment now we recommend
that you write 10 The Treasury Purchasing
Agency. We know of 70 better cash offer for
work at your owl homes. See their adver.
fispmeDt
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
----~-1--
Why She Added to Their Safety

"lour nov waitress is very attractive look
ing person"
Very: and ithas added greatly TO our safety
hire. There is always a policeman on duty
In the Kitchen
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Mrs. Cumso-Your help is Irish, isn't shell
Mrs. Fangle--O, yes "Docs she believe 10
home ruler "Wcll, l should say So She
runs the whole house.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

And so you are taking long walks daily
now, DE Mascus. Doctors ordersl' "No, st.
Agedore, am training for the stage"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Messrs +. j. Cheney a. Co.-Gentlcmen =
have been In the general practice Of medi-
cine for most 40 years, and would say that in
all my practice and experience have never
seen preparation that could prescribe with
as much confidence of success as / can Halls
Catarrh Cure, manufactured by you. Have
prescribed it great many times and its effect
Is wonderful, and would Say in conclusion that
have yet to find case of Catarrh that it
would not cure, II they would take 1t accord
ing to dire .tions.
Yours trnly
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

In reading over the literary items of
the week, found not much to interest
me, until my eye caught sight of an
article headed "Jenks' Dream, Imag-
inc my surprise>to find it ended up with
q recommendation to use DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets. Nevertheless, being
a great sufferer from sick headache, I
determined to try them, and, to my great
joy, found prompt relief, and by their
protracted use, complete immunity
from such attacks. Pierce's Pellets
often cure sick headache in an hour.
They are gently laxative or actively
cathartic, according to size of dose.
AS a pleasant laxative, take one each
night on retiring. For adults, four act
as an active, yet painless, cathartic.
Cause no gripping or sickness. Best
Liver Pill ever made. Smallest, Cheap
est, Easiest to take. For Constipation,
Indigestion and Bilious Attacks, they
have no equal.
Manufactured at the Chemical Labo-
ratory of the WORLDS DISPENsARY
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, No. 663 Main
Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Taken by storm-a town swept out of exis
tence by cyclone.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
HOYto Learn Modern Languages

s=$ # Fl a. a 4' "$s:
tsoG canada iSlsi United states, 1851 s. or three
n2Aes LOT "a losityely remove MI rregularities
". nairIrns puzzle and traaS supplied BY WERR
wholesale and Retail Agent sent BY mail. pras
paid, on receipt OF price ''0'
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22
ours truly,
L. L. GoRsUCH, N. D.,

Ufbcs, 2I5 Summit Sc.
We will give 500 for any case of Catarrt
that cannot be cured with Halls Catarrh Cure.
Taken internally.
F.J. CHENEY & CO.. Props, Toledo, o.
rB-Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

1t was girl who had studied the currency
question who remarked: "There is not gold
enough to go 'round,n when she discovered
that her engagement ring was too small for
her.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

For Throat Diseases and Coughs
use BRowS's BRONCHIAL TRocHEs. Like all
really good things, they are initiated. IN.
genuine are sold only IN boxes. 1890.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Don't talk shop to your wife nor religion to
-FOUR partner.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Mistrcss-Hsve you any referencesl New
Girl-N6, mum Have youf
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

Divers reflections may properly be called
under studies.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1891-01-22

A man who has practiced medicine for 40
years ought to know salt from sugar; read
what he saws: