davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
at'eeklg Citizen
ALBUQUERQUE, At. -, 1891.
nA,~E rorKrm,N,.

To have Albuquerque d,signn,ed ~
the mos, drslr,hl" point ~ the CONT
uent for u hctl,l rr.H', AMI rrrummcn
died. 10y the phIstclhrs II tie United
States ~ the beet place or = National
SanitAtium, ~ u great poln', "d9nt Iuu
know" but while this has u Nalu" that
may be iuesttmnhlc, W. must not neglect
our other resources. our mines uilus
We lots - money, and 30 do uut cattle,
AMI our sheep aud cur Nuun hut more
valuable IT, the territory than al ~ these,
with proper httrnt.r. ar" the asfirultu
raj fesoutrcr - thr country Mmlr Il is
true that W. can never hope ~ cumI etc
with Kansas aud Nebraska ~ luNa aud
Missouri IN The rtuducliuu - wheat, corn,
oats etc II ~ alsp true that Ne laNc ~
the sdu and climate = NrN Men ru the
power aud po,our! = .gnps much mote
valuable thRu any - ilur" ~ a." tta,rs
named, aud g. ,hrsc wo uJght g. turn
unr attention. IuIlustthlc ltrt" s. TO-
quarter ~ a., world TIA, can gtoN urt
ter sugar D,rt- ct ptrtu e mote pounds
~ sugar t.turu'rc, tlbu 'ar l.u GEoLio
valley Experiment. UtN" ,I.Nu TINT
W. can fnl.r a. many ior, Z nrota g. 'h"
acre aud with us ia ~ % r,'r"ntas, I
sugnt tt. at! u'Drt dH.'rci ur o." ,.,'
ncut then vNl tot dr'ut" u'r arabic
lands T. tu- pIrput'. - "a" a. ~"
produce h""t- cI.t.h 49,. 'r'"r'' N.l
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22

The glove contests Tor the benefit Of
"Reddy" Welch took place at the Ar.
mury last Saturday evening. The fire,
on the program was sctto bet ween
two co'ored boys, and they proved them
selves qul'e clever with the gloves. Next
trainer, which WAS followed 10y the most
laughable glove contest Of the age a
mill between heavy weights, j, Ed.
Priest and Louis Meyers. Both msn
tip the scales beyond the 100 point, and
when they appeared It was the signal for
tremendous cheering. Ed. Parker tint
came forward and deposited in the md.
die Of the ring four Of the largest init
tens manufactured. then came MIR,
Priest, who vas followed second Inter
by Mr. Meyers. Both gentlcme were
accorded the most en,h usias,ic applause,
Soon they were nj il, but when Meyers
made uGe Of his celebrated rushes his
feet left the floor, but hls pos,crior
struck with y mighty force The build,
ing shook ~ il an earthquake had reui
the atmosphere, carrying devastation in
its path, and II was at least five seconds
before the referee, time keepers, bottle
doctors and the audience could gam
their equilibrium for the e ntcs, to con
tinue. LOUIS employer was in the bal
cony AMI the jar Was 80 great that she
Tell from her chair and disappeared
through crack in the floor, This
ronnd ended In favor ot Mr.. Priest, who
for large man, is "a lively one on his
feet. One more round OF fun ended the
circus.
During the waite Mr. Carter delight
ed the crowd by singing several humor'
Gus songs.
Marshal Maston ami his lieutsnAnts
we're present to preserve order
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
LEN,.tE MEETING.

The territorial convention ~ the re-.
publican league clubs viii be held in Al.
huqu"rpne d"npg the far, and AS the
time ~ nov only four weeks ahead, the
ll'al organization ought h commence
making preparations Tor entertaining
the delegates r. m abroad, We ought
10 he prepared 10 receive them cordially
aud entertain them hospitality. The
convention viii bc a very lmpor,an, pc,
lIt cal gathering, and will call together a
large number ~ tho most prominent re-
ruhlcnns II the territory representa-
tive men 81 New Mexico aud We cant
afford 10 let them 20 home with u lad
impression Of Albuquerque and her PEG,
Pile,
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
To the Puhlir.

Caddo Mills, Tex. June 3, ls9i.--From
my own personal know ledge can rec
ommend Chamberlain Collie, Cholers
aud Diarrh1a Remedy for cramps IN The
stomach; also for diafrhma and hux. IL
10 the best medicine I have ever seen
used and the best selling, as Il alwsys
gives satisfac,ion. A. X. sheriff.. Twes'
y and % cent bottlss Tor sale by ThoA
II. Burgess 4 Bon, druggists,
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22

Bi,urbG Anayo, drunk and disorderly
o. Sn dcos's, or ten days in jail; he paid,
Malaga Galegos, drunk and disordcrly
$l0 and costs, or fifteen days in jail; he
WAS committed,
freddy" Welsh, the prize fighter,
drunk aud disorderly, Sl0 aud costs, or
fifteen days in Jail; he was committed.
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22

feeted desired and intended" That 10
hard luck, Indeed. II IA n thousand
phics any country should 10 ~ hard
hearted aud meau M ~ deliberately de.
pri,e the island ~ England OF any part
~ It's commerce. II ~ perfectly evident
that nature intended the whoe world tu
pay tribute to tina, one ISLAND, and
thwartlng nature IL lying ~ the face ~
Providence ~ away thai quite shocks
and deeply gtlrl.S the righteous lnhab.
itants thrfroi. II the Mck,nlcy Law had
been failure there would nave been Tor
g,Nrncss ~ its wickclucss. but IT has
had the effect desired aud intended,
which ~ uupitiunahlc.
TN mcag"r reports ~ the govern.
mrut's experiments for inducing rainfall
10y exploding bombs attached To balloons
SEEM To Indicate that there may l." more
~ the theory than generally supposed
az course the experiments thus Tar must
h" cuualhrrci Ms crude prclimlnHrirs,
Whether ur hot thr rainfall feport~l
from Midland, Ten was mere cuinci
drncc or vns due 10 s1me extent Ia
the explosion ~ the buuls, ls left un
determined Men u,r 90 npt to scutp
uriy their hits AID lguofc failures that
tie public vii Mt bc particularly ctrdu
LOUIS concerning thr-" ram making cX
p"t,ments unit much more data ~ nj
hand II Is Just "a Neil to- ~ ahoal per
irrt,ng irrigation dr-trctS WITH good ~
/ pa,s 'Dt several yeas ,urumr
AGrlr,iNL IruEa,ua Us jumping W.
/ land faitl, Wooded, and where o." wa'er
: does not have ~ br t,is"d over twenty
feet. IL perfectly fraslu.c nul eau l.,
cheauly done ~ ,uut.c tbs i.rc.,a',
g. ,"'cc. band Jart"ala !, ni pt,l 60 a.,
pumping ~ water, where wool eau -,
had Tor a." ,Sst = ,utt ~, aud Vh.r. ~
abundant sup,', - water can lee d-,,I
op-d ut a rcrs'unh.r rNIcn-" Eut trW
culture thus sirt,m seems admirable
aud M man! places D. N,|, prove e. u,
the on! mean, - u-lrI nate; flowing {,
waste underground
E\im man or woman Hhp builds
house or sore ~ IT," town ~ Wh'ch l.,
lives, IL instrumental ~ hd LINK To ut dc
ttartus FROM ID" general appearance. q
the town hc ~ Il, sttluus ~ bullding u,
aud advancing lluN Few people prop
erlH mrarur" the important addlt Ut
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
WIN be l'rrsrot

The management ~ the territorial fair
association has offered a premium 81
s;ps' To- ;he heet base ball team, and has
made arrangements for grand base ball
tournament u take place during the fair
The Grant county base ball l'oys will be
there IN force Silver CITY Enterprlae
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22

The c,ty u albuquerque has a rcpub.
hcRn city government, the county OF
B"tnalillp has republican county gov.
eminent. both ARE heing honestly
efficiently aud economically governed. -
New Mexican
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
VIII be Represented.

The sprisn,ly little weekly at Pinos
Altos contains the following item in its
last issue:
&C. Hall, the hustling president OF
the territorial fair association. was IN
town q short time Monday. While here
he Was interviewed by A, J. Spaulding
and the result will be- found under the
base hall head, MIR Hall il doing more
travelling and accomplishing more than
any half dozen ordinary men would have
done. and II the fair IL not q success, IL
will not lie his fault II might he woll
TO say that Pines Altos will bs represent.
ed.
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
EDITORIAL NOTES

MNuW SuNI ~ DONG splrndid work
Tor Albuquctuuc lie j.. pushcr ~ pub
hr enterprises.
NV MlNp.u N IN better condition
e"ty way ihnu a, any time IN the past
No boom, but spnd prosperity.
rmg clty IL working ~ one man to
Pitch pubhr cn'crptis,s Dtunez anu
rninmity rtauk- have 10 following here.
Iur price ~ wheat N advancing, aud
'hc calamity rttcts are meeting With cold
comfort from the farmers ~ the country.
10 complete IT," preparations Tor the
territorial !a,r active work II necessary.
rrucraslua,ion has luIutcda grea, many
public "n'rrltis"s.
ENEaN tuau IN New Mexico should Oc
represented at the Albuquerque tail
road convention. Agitation may bring
additional lines u road
AiI Corthetu Arizona Viii he NJ a."
New MeNIro territorial far aud the cN
hIhi,s from that country Wtll be remark
able ~ variety aud richness
N"'"'h '''h'S WI me t'e"' I" W."
'''''' ~ ''' ''''"'''"' '"''' Wv 'N"''''
''''" UNIV '''"'' "'' ~ ''"'"'A'''!
itrr uur, csprcIai! the vr,t.
-" n"i u's,"r' I" rt"rhr" grand tr
.'.FV'" - we ""''E'''' Ut Wv ""i"'"'
90" .''s"'' WIZ wiz '''''' WV ''' 81. ""'
"n''h'''" W wv w. N"i ''h''t l.
lut ".dDN ~ "N President Jnurs h.
, I".k. died at Na-h'l.r, l"uu, yesterday
murn'tt III" VH" - >"Nrr u.d aud "ns
, great! beloved Toy a." r'"p." u N",h.
3 '"''
J. " worthy ~ ,Uh'ra' patronage.
%" frustrated 'dl'l'h ~ ~" Ne" Men
Irnu about hihulu"tqu" should br pat
rom i"i ~ every hu-'u"sS mnu IN th'
wy
Idrrif Switzerland ~ maui'r~hne "
NV! interest ]" Wv worm ''''' ~ WI"
+ e''' q" "'''' ~" ''"" TT superior 'h''e"
, '''''' IT'D" - ''"''' I'VE nv" P''"'"'!
s'"'''
. TN ruh,shr'- - Ad"h"'nud are rrns
p i"ruR end cos! editorial Offices hnN,
! been added 1" ~" ruh'lrati"n hnIid,ns
% Surc"S- t. n e Du'urI rIHIug Young men
% rs u" "h ~ ~ tHi.lN.
7 tn rprtk"r.hlp contest Will hrg,i
, aud Viii b" conducted Nl,h energy Toy III,
. Various candidates. Congressman Ml.li
Vil, arrive ~ Washington nbuu, Novem
: Ger H. and open gp,akvfrhIp hradquRr
I trrs
, I'm ,r,r,,,r ,fti,,r.,r, uut,,ts,nh IA,
......,,. ,..,.,...', .',. -.
= ,,,r..r l,,,,.,.,,,,I I,un,l..s ,,r,r,, h,p
, nf,,uri nil ,,..,, In .rt,,,,p, tar D.. 4.
= ,u,,t. r,us,s mn l,.,,r.,,,r .in,,y,
!. n.tvm.r a uonn,rh and n.r,
,.r. ...,..,
- ...., ,-,,
.,r, r.'r
- '.n ,.,..,'
'"''' WV "''P I'VE '''''' ~ H"' NV
" ,'.....,'.,,'I',,
i
4 W., h'>>'' Wv n""N"' '''''"' "S''"
n ''''' S''' P"'' ''' '"'"'"s ~ we '"''
4 80 Il" """l '"'s BLOWS ''"' MIS- '""S
H." S"'' yea N"'"'''' woman 'h"n W."
i owner '''''"'' ""''"'"'' L"'! PARSONS "h
= s'' "''''"s '"r '"'"'"S W." WAS cent
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
Becomes Luxuriant

anh beautiful All Who have once tried
Ayers Han \iguI, want ~ other dressing.
Galhtslth 4 StltkS, plusgi,tS sharon
Grove, ny Writr We believe Ayers
Han \lgur tu be- the best preparation II the
Kind IN the market. and sell more NJ II than
At all othrIN ~ druE store Is complete
without - supply oi It"
II haI" used Ayers Hair NigOt With
great benefit AMI know several other yer.
sons between ~ AMI "a year, ~ agV. mo
have experienced similar euod results from
the VI, II tins preparation II restores gray
hair tn IT. original color promotes n new
growth, gives luStfr tr the hair, and cleanses
thu scalp IT daudTun" -- lictuardo Ochoa.
Mddtid, Spain
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
ArNNon>ni.E HrrOnr

n. ....
.,.,
,'.
TI'.,......','... .,',','',
.t'',, .., ......, .,.,.,..,
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
7 Z HAIR

When not properly cared Tor. loses
it, lu,tr", becomes crSp, harsh. and
dry, AMI falls out freely with every
comhlng To prevent tins. the hest
aud most popular dressing III the
market Is Ayers Hair Vigor. It
remove, dandrun. heals troublesome
hun"rS of the scalp. restores faded
aud gray halr To- 1t, original color.
and lmpartN tn VI "A SILKY texture
and lasting fragrance. lll using
this PREPARATION, the poorest head
OF hAlr Nnnn
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
FAST Rt NNIN,.

Will" the public, says :hc Scicntli'
American, ls stD.l maryrline over SALIVA
tors wonderful performance N running
mile III l.jl's, there are u frw Who
have, through comparison aLd analysis
sought to realize what u terrific burst u
speed tins Is. 1t ~ nearly forty mllrs an
hour II rat' averaged 10y very fcN 81
our fast"s' railway trains. There are
i,2sO feet IA mllc, 80 that every one 81
these NINETY tive seconds Tor every bent
ot II man's pulse tins wonderful hurfc
covered ut! tiN" Hud turrc ,euths trc'
~ ground The shui',t' space ~ tim.
noted 10y the 'lrimau's watch II Quar.
ter ~ u second an interval 80 hrlef TINT
the eye eau hard! observe, thr mud eau
hardly appreciate 4 Yet "a every one
~ those 'iS2 quarters - u tcouud that
magnificent creature ,capcd sixteen aud
three tcuths feet such are the amazing
results ~ careful breeding ~ exhibited
10y the American race hurs"
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22

tn" Denver papers give Prominence g.
the call Tor u railway convention NJ
this place or the 18th Of September
All the iocu par'rs are also keep
ing II before their readers. and there
~ every rrason - behave thlt there wi,l
he full delegations IN attendance from hil
the towns interested "a the movement
Tho Denver Republican thinks that
Albuquerque weekly citizen. (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1891-19??, 1891-08-22
After Using

A number II other preparations without
ANY satisfactory result. hmd that Ayers
Hair Nignr IL causing my hair to grow" -
4 j uSmrnt, General Merchant Indian
Head y v T.
Ayers Han Nlgor is the only prepare.
ton | cuud ever md To remove dandruf.
cure itching humorS AMI prevent loss OF
halT | can confidently recommend IT.
j ( Hutlrt, spencer, Mass.
Ny wife believes that the money spent
Tor Ayers Han Nleor ~aN the hest invest.
mrut she ever made. II has gwen her 90
much satisfaction 90 james \ Adams, St.
Augustine. Texas
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
cuRros From EVERYWHERE.

A DROVE Of one thousand turkeys
were driven from Parsons TO Oswego,
Kan.
THE proprietor of Philadelphia cigar
store has posted u sign in his place for
bidding smoking.
Rev. DAVID KAUFMAN, Of Indiana,
puts himself asleep while in the pulpit.
While apparently asleep and uncon-
scious, it is said that he delivers sermons
Of amazing eloquence.
4 KASsAs man played q very sharp
trick upon n neighbor lately. He
stole a herd of $50 cattle, sold them,
pocketed the money and then commit
ted suicide His victim sees no way of
redress.
IN counting his small change the 9TH
CT day, Michigan man found the most
valuable five-cent piece eXtant. The
iarring on the table caused the piece of
money to split in two, and from the cep-
ter rolled gQld dollar
CHARLIE GfuFFiTH. of Athens, Ga, has
a curiosity in the shape of pipe The
bowl Of the pipe is fashioned out of a
costly variety of briarwood, while the
stem was taken from the leg of some
Iordly gobler of the days'of long ago.
RESIDING on farm near Dubuque.
Ia, is peculiarly afflicted boy, four
wears of age, the son of Ernest Bohn.
He was born without eyes, and has no
place in his head for them, the forehead
being perfectly smooth. The child i:
possessed Of all his other faculties anc
enjoys good health.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
WRONGHEADEO PEOPLE.
Those with Whom Il Is Difficult to Get
Along.

Among the most unpleasant people
one is compelled TO rub shoulders with
on lifc's highway are the class whose
minds take hold Of every thing, as it
were, the wrong end foremost, They
are usually as obstinate as perverse,
and the false iufereuccs they draw
from Lisapprehcuded premises they adj
here to with as much tcnacity a. if
they were Gospel truths. One knows
not how 70 deal with such incorrigibles
Good-hUmored raIlying they are rs like
" as not to mistake for studied insult.
kind words for hunbug. cndcavors to
instruct and convince for airs Of superb
ority; dnA whatever one may do or say
with a view Of benetiting them, they
mistake for insidious attempts TO get
on their blind side. Their field of moral
vision is filed with n mist Of suspicion
which distorts every thing and 1t Is n
vain to reason with them; for YOU can
no more do away with their absurd i'm
pressioEs than You can wipe out craven
letters with a sponge Error, we sup
pose, is 20 them what truth IS 20 right
headed men and women, and they cling
TO it because they believe IN il. They
are objects of cummiserotion: Yet, be
ing un0hatable nuisances, it is prudent
10 give them a wide berth.
II is really a sad thing 90 be prldis-
posed 10y nature to miscouceiye and
misconstruei but it is equally unpleas-
ant 70 be misunderstood and miscou-
strued. We. thcrcfore, make 1t rule
10 have as little as possible 70 do with
invcterately wrougheaded people.-S
y Ledger.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
ABREAST Or THE TIMES.

\ DECEASED Los Angeles paper sunk
$50, oC0 during the four years it was
uubIisAod
4 MANI: iceman estimates that the
amount II iac cut On the henuc bee this
winter VIII b. about $50, ,OOU tons.
y CRAB was caught in the harbor Of
Victoria =. G.. that was three feet six
inches around toe wuist. Il was pre-
selted 10 the Museum Of Natural
Science.
y NEW variety Sf seagull has made its
appearance on the New Jersey coast. 1t
Is darker than the old kind. and the
most remarkable peculiarity is that its
tai j: pnrrowed - 2 sharp point.
4 Mn in Jackson County. Ore. has
been plowing this fall with n steam en-
gino. aud has found that it works quite
successfully. lie pulls eight ployys with
his engine, and turns over the soil at the
rate Of sixteen acres per day. The cost
Of running the outfit is not over five dol
lars Per day.
THERE seems to be good reason for
the increased interest in athletics and
various kinds Of physical culture fads.
II - reported that out of twenty appli-
cations for enlistment ut the United
States rendezvous in Portland only one
has been accepted deficient chest being
the main trouble.
GENERAL BERDAS has proposed u
novel solution OF the silver coinage
problem. HIS scheme is TO make dol
lar Of gold and silver, mechanically
combined, by first making u silver coin
worth twenty-five cents, with hole in
the center, and then pressing into the
hole Z plug of gold worth seventy-five
cents. Electrical Review
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
Death Attr.eutea to rlekIes.

In commenting on recent case OF
death attributed by 4 ccroner's jury 10
the action of pickles which had been
eaten a short time previously. the Lon
don Lancet says: There was here an
evident connection between the alleged
cause and It's effect. but some further
explanation is certainly desirable. Not
withstandinE the naturally stimulant
property Of these condiments. this is, 10
our mind. insufficient in itself TO ac-
count for fatal choleraic diarrhPa. The
facts Of the case are much more suggeS-
tive OF the introd uction OF some irritant
poison. The vinegar OF pickles has fre-
ouontly been found to contain metallic
impurities, notably copper, derived from
the vessels used in iheir manufacture.
Corrosive sublimate and other irritants
have also been det cted, and the pres
ence OF some such mischievous addition
should probably be blamed in this case
for tho fatal issue"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
-ncchIn NvrItInE.

4 rapid penmsu can write ..@t ~
in a minute, says writer .a
Evening Journal TO ja '-.' -s
draw his quill through ... ,-
rod-sixteen and a-haf te'. .-
minutes his pen travels % '.-.---
in five hours and a-tht~a a.-.,.
make, on an average. sixteen en- "a, ..
the pen in writing cacn word -F
thirty words in a minute, $500 mus !.
four hundred and ciEaty-o'zA.... ~
minute; in an hour twenty .-...
sand eight hundred: I'm ta. '. o-
hours, one hundred and in-.'-..-
sand: and in year of tHr.' ~
DAYS, forty-three million .'o --.
thousand. Tho man who '.--g 81. I.
lion strokes Of a pen in moA-- ~ ~s
at all remarkable Many mon
four million. Here We have ID '-
rrcgate a mark, three Aa1a'A.. -.
long. TO be traced ou paF. a
writer in a year. Ia making '' ~s
of he ordinary alphabet, $500 ...'. .. -.a
from three TO seven ,t~'ar- '. .ri
on an average, three and o-'
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
LAUGHS OF ALL KINDS.

THE more wealth q man has, the
more dldi1uit for hun to find out what
people really taink about HIM
How ND yoa cure your hasbGod OF
smoking, Ars- Wing?'' II nsts htfn
let KS o-zJ al ass cigars for him
1t is oae Of The cu7osittss Of oatzU-al
history that horse enjoys his food
most when lie hasn't bit IN his mouth
REsrArRAvr GrEsr-"Every thing
you have brrugist me "a stone cold =
Polite Waiter-"Here are the mustard
and pepper, sir.
a CHEMIST has discovered n mixture
which insure-s protection from ants But
what the public really yearns for 3
protection from unclee>
THE different kinds of laughs they
have: Dudes, Hal ha! Farmers, Hoi hol
Teamsters, Hawl hawi Feed dealer,
Hay! hayl Women, Hel hei
SMALL BoY-"There's one thing in the
Bible sis says she'd like to change. "
Minister -''Impossible! What can it
be, my young man2" Small Boy-"Her
age, sir"
WHAT is it, do you suppose, that
keeps the moon in place and prevents it
from falling?" asked Araminta- II
think it must be the beams" said
Charley, softly.
HUSBAND Goodbye, dear" Wife
(coldly)- Good bye" Husband (giv-
ing her fifty dollars for shopping
Goodbye again. dear" Wife-"kiss
me- Goodbye, my own darling. Be
home early. Once more, love, good
bye!'
The man who was convulsed with
laughter at a woman trying to sharpen
a pencil, was soon after discovered try
ing 10 cut a paper pattern by the united
efforts of a pair of scissors, his right
hand, lower jaw and two-thirds of his
tongue.
Proud FATHEB-''Taken high degrees
in your scientific course? Proud of you,
my boy. BY the way, can you prove
that heat expands aad cold contracts?"
College Graduate-''Certainly. Don't
the days grow longer IN warm weather
and shorter il winter?"
ARDENT SwAI,y to object Of his afTec-
tionl-''For several weeks past l have
been trying 70 speak to you, Miss Rosa.
but you never gave me a chance OF
putting in q word. l therefore gladly
avail myself of your temporary hoa-se-
ness to make you an offer of marriage" :"
YOUSG CASDD-"Did you ever hear
such horrible, discordant, ear-split-
ting" Old Proudfoot-.S Sir-r-r! Why,
that's my eldest daughter, and" II
repeat, sir, such ear-splitting clatter as
those idiots behind us are making? Why,
can't hear word of the song
\ swELL at the sea side was surprised
when leaning against the ratings on
the parade TO notice that nearly every
body who passed him burst into laugh
ter. On looking down at his feet some
time after he perceived TO his horror that
he was standing just over 4 notice board
which read in large print: Stand for
one donkey
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1891-05-01
English speaIzInr Indians.

II Is a common mistake TO suppose
that most of the Indians can speak En-
glish, says n trader ] presume not 10
exceed one-fourth OF the Yanlltons
speak English. The various tribes Of
the Sioux use practically the same
language. though there are slight
differences between the tribes located
in different sections Of the country or
on reservations At some distance apart.
But Of the YanHtons, comparatively
small number speak English. About
the same proportion of the Santee tribe
uses the language, and the number OF
English speaking Indians in the other
tribes i still smaller. They have much
less need of the English language now
than formerly. The Hauktons have
an excellent school where they are ed
ucated in their own language. John
z. Williamson. the missionary who has
been working with them for many
years and whose father before him was
an Indian missionary, has reduced
their language TO a practical system oi
orthography, compiled dictionary, and
translated = number of books into The
Indian tongue. Most of the Indians car
now read and write their native Ian
gyuage.-Sioux City Journal.