The Portland daily press., 1891-06-11
MR. AND MRS. HAWKINS.
[Portfolio.I

Mondays washin' day, an Tuesdays
ironin' day, and of course nobody would
be married Friday, and Saturdays
bakin' and cleanin' up day, so there's
only Wednesday and Thursday left, and
mother'n me wanted that much time for
extry odds and ends of work, and to
"turn round" in, as you might say. So
I set it Sunday mornin' before fust
service.
Nov, to begin with, must tell you
that Mr.. Hannibal Hawkins, the man
was goin' ter marry, was what you'd call
odd, 80 that, although we'd been keepin'
coinp'ny tergether for some time, and
I'd had every chance ter git acquainted,
yet felt morlly certain that it would
be good while fore I'd know him all
through. Not but what he was a likely
man-more, tew, for he was a church
member in good and regular standin',
and he alwers had the name o. bein' a
good husband to his fust wife, and good
pervider and all that; but, as l said, he
was odd.
Wall, he came over the Saturday
mornin' before the weddin', SOS ter be
ION hand" he said, and kinder dew for
me and mother. We hadn't no men
folks in the house 'cept Caleb Jones, the
hired help, and he want much depend
ence at such time.
1t was bout o'clock in the forenoon
when Mr.. Hawkins rived, and an hour
or tew later gotta letter from his daugh-
ter Car'line.
It was marked private" and read
thus:
DEAR Miss ROBBINS Chats me, Ruth Ann
Robbins, ye know)-I write to caution you
about par. feel awful 'fraid the clo'es he's
took with him to be married in amt right All
to once he was struck with one o. his odd
streaks, and insisted on packin' his bag him.
self, thing he never done afore in his life, and
the Lord only knows what he put into it; I
don't. You must look him over real sharp
fore he goes in where the folks be. I'm sorry
can't come to the weddin', but cut nv bangs
yesterday, and got 'em so short that Hook just
tew hiJeous for anything. I've cried myself
most sick, I'm so disappointed, and par says
I'm silly ter stay away on account o. the bangs;
put can't help it; I'd ruther die than 90 and
show myself sech fright to all them folks-so
there 'tlsI L send you my love, and hone
everything will go off well. With respeck,
CAR'LINE HAWKINS
P. Sim afraid par has took odd boots.
Look out for him.
/ laughed when read that letter; it
didn't trouble me much of any. Thinks
/ ter myself, HE is old enough to pack
his own bag, less he's gump and a
fool, and if he is gump and fool the
quicker we find it out the betterp
felt the wust because Car'line want
comm to the weddin'. It worried me to
think she was SO silly bout them bangs.
Wall, come Sunday mornin', when it
was time to dress ourselves, Hannibal
took one room and / another, and we
begun. I'd just got my hair all down,
when Hannibal hollered tew me, and
said he:
Ruth Ami I wish you'd bring in
your needle and thread and dew little
job O. sewin' for me. / find my vest is
all split out behind, though goodness
knows how it come SO. never wore it
but once in my life. It's bran new
one."
thought then of Carlines letter. and
wnen see the vest l knew in minute
that he'd took the wrong one, but I
sewed the old thing up as wells could
a pretty lookin' vest it was to be mar
ried in-and went back to my room
feelin' good deal disturbed and anx-
ious.
His next perdickermunt was wuss yet.
This time he spoke to meso kinder quick
and sharp, that knew it was somethin'
serious. was jest putin my dress over
my head, but didn't stop to half button
it up; hurried in ter see what was the
matter now When / opened the door,
there stood Hannibal in the middle O. the
room, loolin' down perplexed like and
inquirin at two old boots-you couldn't
call 'em pair, for knew the minute I
set eyes on 'em that they both belonged
to one and the Same footl They both had
round mob stickin' up conspickewous
where the big toe went, and another great
bulgin' one for the toe j'int. hadn't
never noticed anything peculiar bout
Hannibars feet before, but them two
boots did look curis enough, and they
looked kinder wicked and Rnowin' some
how, as if they was enjoyin' themselves
l laughed couldn't help it, but Han
nibal didn't even smile. He turned to
me, and said he:
"Do them two boots look right to
you" Then he tried on one, and that
was well enough. He put on the other,
and-wall, you can imagine how it
looked OF course the nobs and bulgin's
come in the wrong places, and the hull
foot was hind side afore and wrong side
tew, as you might say. He took 'em off
and reversed 'em, but still they con-
tinnered ter disagree and look wicked at
one another. He squared 'em up ter
gether as squares he could. and saws he:
Ruth Ann, believe them boots is
oddY'
"Ondoubtedly they be, Hannibal"
says l, "and they look odd; but how do
they feelP Can you wear 'em? That is
the question"
81 don't care continental how they
feel" says he, awful savage; "rll wear
'em if they kill me; but l dew wish they
didn't look SO like the-the evil onel"
felt like death, but / knew we'd got
to make the best of the sitiwation, so
says:
"Oh, guess they won't be noticed.
But you must be sure and set with your
feet on the floor and drawed well back
under your chair, and you mustn't on no
count cross your legs, or if you dew, be
sure and have the right foot on top"
Then had ter leave him. was all
worked up, but managed ter finish nv
toilit with my mothers help, and when l
was dressed went into the spare cham
Der where the couples that was goin' to
stand up with us was waitin. found
them all right, and finally Hannibal was
ready, and him and me locked arms and
preceded down stairs, follered by the
others. Cousin Tripheny and RIVAL
Hunt came fust, then Mandy Plympton
and John Ray, then Cousin Seraphine
and Star Chase. There was six of 'em,
and they made noble 'pearance, few.
Jest as we got on to the stairs and
Hannibal and me was most to the bot
tom, all of sudden he claps his hand to
his head and whispers:
"Ruth Ann, must go back a minute
You wait right here"
mo, Hannibal" says I, pullin' him
along, ''you can't go back-how it would
look!"
"But / tell ye l must and willI' says
he, jerkin' away and turnin' back.
The percession stood stock still on the
stairs, and fust one, then t'other whis-
pered down ter know what was the
matter, and the folks in the parlor began
ter peak out and buzz. concluded as