davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
SMOKELESS.

Woman leads the world. She used smokeless powder for ages before men ever thought of adopting it.-Puck.
 ''Her complexion used to be great an noyance to her." "Ah, well, that little matter is all made up now."-New York Herald.
 Jones. Why do birds f1ya Tommy Jones-'Cause they ain't such fools as ter walk when they don't hev ter. Judge.
 eff I were to commit suicide" said Gus de Jey to his fathers physician, "what kind of a verdict would the coroner bring ina" Unsuitable homicide" was the emphatic reply.-Washington Star.
 Mrs. Braggs-Life in your case seems to be one long vacation.
 Weary Watkins-Quite right you are, ma'am. I guess that's one reason why I am allers so tired.-Indianapoli Journal.
 Kitty Wins1ow-Physical culture is quite fad of mine; see, for instance, how well Mir. Van Nobs stands.
 Tom De Witt-Oh, yes; he stands better against dark blue portiere than he does fnancially.-Puck.
 'I read this morning that somebody had invented a way of making poker chips out of metal.'
 "What kind of metals'
 'I don't know; ante-money, Ipresume." Washington Post.
 Visitor-The wind seems to shake that scarecrow over there 8 little. I've noticed it quiver two or three times. MT. Suburb That isn't scarecrow. That's the hired man working for $40 month and board Street S6 Smiths Good News. Miss Pearl White-I wish you to paint my portrait. Dobbins-Im sorry, madam, but can't do it.
 Miss Pearl White-Why nota Dobbins-I never copy other paintings. Puck. Miss Sevenfgures-Oh, MT. Gilthunt, this sudden proposal surprises mel am embarrassed. Mr. Gilthunt-Embarrasse Then take it all back. thought your fortune was as secure as the bank of England.- Kate Fields Washington. A young Scotchman was once halting be- twixt two loves, one possessed of beauty l and the other of a COW. In despair of ar
 irving at decision, he applied for advice ! to a canny compatriot, who delivered him | self thus: 'Marry the lass that has a coo, | for there's no the deeference O coos | value in any twa wesmin in Christendom." " l-Argonaut.
 "Charley has had such bad luck with watehes," said young Mrs. Tucker. ''He
 lost two because they got saturated. i" | Charley said they got soaked" ," remarked | her mother. 1T know, but saturated is 8 | prettier word and means the same thing. These rains are so penetrating; suppose | they got into the works and rusted them. " l Washington Star. The bard sat at the dining board | Whence all but him had fled, Excepting, if you please the dame Who graced the tables head. And as the latter asked of him In speech as smooth as glass If he the plate of butter would l Be kind enough to pass, He struck an attitude, and then | The oleum did reacb | And, as he passed the same to her, Exclaimed in brand of speech l That quite revealed the poet-soul That did within him gleam, | "Life's butter passing dream" he said, | "Life's butter-passing dream" | Boston Courier
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
WHAT MIR. FITCH DIDN'T SEE.

How some Englishmen can come to this country and see what they say they do is incomprehensible to those who live here. For instance, MT. Fitch, who was sent to this country by the English government to examine the American public school system, in his report to parliament de- clares that our public schools are being su- perseded by private and religious institu-' tions, notwithstanding the greater cost to the pupil, that the American system results in an irregular attendance, and that it is constantly losing ground in public estima- tion.
 These are surprising statements. Of course private and religious schools are in creasing in. number and size, but there is no such rate of increase as in the public schools. MT. Fitch does not take into ac- count the marvellous increase in popula- tion which has taken place in the United States within recent years. And when he says that the American system re- suits in an irregular attendance he is still farther from the truth. The fact is that it tends strongly toward regularity of attendance, for the system includes careful registration and watching of the children. And when MT. Fitch says that the public schools of this country are con- stantly losing ground in public estimation he is about as far wrong as he can be. The truth is they are looked upon as the chief guardian of and aid to national progress and unity. In our public schools the children of all races mingle and receive a very substantial start toward good citizen ship. Instead of losing ground in the pub lie estimation they are constantly more and more appreciated.
 Come over again, Brother Fitch, and see things little more as they are.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17

country, and, if comparisons are not in this case individious, should say that the German emperor need not fear to meet such an audience as even New England society dinner assemblies. One of the prettiest speeches I have listened to was delivered by the emperor in answering the toast to his wife in the province where she was born. It was during the great com bined naval and military maneuvers of 1890, at which the United States was rep- resented by Commander Ward and Great Britain by Admiral Hornby.
 The emperor's words were: q desire to express to you, my dearest sir, the grat- ttude felt by the empress and myself for the kind words we have just heard; at the same time our thanks to the whole for the day we have passed and for the reception which the province has prepared for us. This day was, however, not needed in or der to assure us of the warm friendship we have found here. The bond that unites me to this province, and chains me to her in manner different from all others of my empire, is the jewel that sparkles at my side, her majesty, the empress Sprung from this soil, the type of the va nous virtues of German princess, it is to her that owe it if I am able to meet the severe labors of my office with @ happy spirit, and make head against them"
 The words of the emperor were unex- pected, and to no one more so than to his wife, whose face beamed with happiness st the compliment she so publicly received. Nor did any one who listened to the speak CT at that dinner think to question the spontaneity and honesty of the language.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
The Stage Mob.
From "On the Stage-and or by Jerome K
 Jerome.l


 From "On the Stage-and or by Jerome K.
 JeromeI
 To represent soldiers on the stage, real soldiers should, without doubt, be em- ployed, but it is no good attempting to use them for anything else. They are sol dier-like in everything they do. You may dress them up in what you choose, and call them what you will, but they will never be anything else but soldiers. On one occasion our manager tried them as a rabble. They were carefully instructed how to behave. They were told how to rush wildly on with fierce, tumultuous yell; how to crowd together at the back of the stage, and, standing there, surging backwards and forwards like an angry sea; brandish their weapons, and scowI mena- cingly upon the opposing myrmidons of the law, until, at length, their sullen murmurs deepening into roar of savage hate, they would break upon the wall of steel before them, and sweep it from their path, as pent-up waters, bursting their bonds, bear down some puny barrier. That was the theory of the thing. That is how a stage mob ought to behave itself. How it really behaves itself is pretty gen orally known. It comes in with @ jog trot, every member prodding the man in front of him in the small of his back. It spreads itself out in line across the stage and grins. When the signal is given for the rush, each man-still grinning-walks up to the soldier nearest to him, and lays hold of the warriors guns. The two men then proceed to heave the murderous weapon slowly up and down, as if it were a pump handle. This they continue to do | with steady perseverance, until the sol dier, apparently from a fit of apoplexy- for there is no outward and visible cause whatever to account for it-suddenly col lapses, when the conqIering rioter takes | himself in it.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
KICKED IN HIS SUMMERS.
How a Dream and a Dog Made Life Burden 10 a Pfttsburg Man.

HOW a Dream and Dog Made Life n Burden to a Pfttsburg Man.
 From the Pittsburg Dispatch-l
 "Talking about dreams" said a Smith field street business man, T have been lame for a month now, and all on account of a dream experience of mine. At the time I speak of I went home one night, and being worn out and weary, after hot, busy day, I retired early, and just as Mor- pheus was getting in his work my neigh bor's dog began to bay at the moon, and kept it up till was very wide awake and mad.
 'I was too weary to get up and fling the proverbial bootjsck, and lay and occupied my mind devising some means that would be sufficiently cruel by which I could get even with that dog on the morrow, but could think of nothing that possessed that refined and exquisite cruelty necessa- ry to satisfy my feelings
 "At last fell into fitful slumber, and dreamed I was standing on my porch, when that dog came along and sat down on the Tagging in front and he began his serenade. I thought would let him have the floor for just one minute while glost- ed over the coming slaughter. Then, with bated breath and the wild light of ven geance gleaming in my eyes, I cautiously sneaked up behind, and, with a mighty eff fort, let go kick that should have landed that dog in the middle of Schenley park. But it didn't. It landed me in the middle of the floor, dancing on one foot and hold ing the other in my hands. That kick, delivered with all the precision, force and science learned on one hundred hard fought foot ball fields, had struck the wall and almost broken two of my toes. Twas but dream"
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
THE WEEKLY JOURNAL
 IS PUBLISHED EvERY THURSDAY MORNING. One Dollar per Year, (in Advance, Single Copies cents
AN ASTONISHING RECORD.

AN ASIONlSHlNG RECORD.
 We suppose there are people in this country who still believe that the negro is incapable of taking high place among civilized people. But the astonish- ing progress he has made since the war shows that this belief is not well founded, and indicates that he will soon be able to well hold his own in the struggle. The Omaha Bee has been examining his pro. gress and the result of the examination is impressive. There were 100000 black men in the civil war, but there was not one educated negro minister south of Mason and Dixie's line, and there were no schools and school teachers, or school books. In 1865 there were two negro at torneys, three negro physicians, two editors and $12,000 worth of taxable property among the negroes of Amer ica. There were no colleges, no high schools, no banks and no church property. It is 26 years, seven years less than generation, since 1865, but to- day the negroes of this country pay taxes on $264, 900, 900 worth of personal and real property. There are 749 physicians, and 654 of these are college graduates. They have seven colleges, F academies and 49 high schools, all under the charge of negro teachers. Three of the seven college pres idents were slaves. There are 995 college bred negro ministers and PAT negro men and young women in European capitals studying foreign languages to return here as teachers. A bank in Richmond, Vir- ginia, with $500, ,OOo capital, is owned and conducted by black men, and they are loaning money to their former masters.
 And so forth and 30 on. With these facts in view how can anybody deny the ability of the negro9 What people would have done better under the circumstances?
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
ANTHROPOMETRY.

Result of the French System of Meas
 urement-No English Pickpockets
 in Paris.
 The anthropometric or man. measuring system, which the French police practice upon prisoners for the purpose of identi- flying old offenders, appears to work with extraordinary accuracy and simplicity. In Paris the thieves who get caught se- cond time have now no chance of conceal ing their identity.
 In order to find out just how the thing is done, M. Francisque Sarcey paid visit the other day to the Paris Prefecture of Police, where, at his own request, he re- ceived all the attentions bestowed upon reoidivistes. He gives the following inter- esting account of his treatment:
 Formerly there was no other way of recognizing old offenders than to pass them one by one before the detectives, who gazed at them and tried to recollect them Of course this method was tedious and un- certain. Even when the officer believed that he had the name of one of the prison CTS the latter could always say, You are mistaken; it was not r. To-day, thanks
  Bertillon, every second offender is immed- lately recognized. His denials are useless The figures can foot up his photograph | among 90, 900 others.
 "'But,' said to M Bertillon, ehow do you manage to take the pictures of the fel- lows who refuse to poser He looked at me | and smiled. Before answer your ques- tion,' said he, will you be good enough to go upon the stand and have your measure | ments taken? Then your record will be among our lists
 'I willingly complied, and went through | the ceremony. The measurer submitted me to just the same operations as he had | practiced in my presence upon a young | thief. The clerk wrote down some figures as they were called out, giving the length and breadth of my head, the length of the the middle, of the little finger, of the fore, l arm, of the ear, and of the foot. Then he recorded the color of the eyes, and passed the document to M. Bertillon.
 "sNow. said the chief, Suppose we hunt | among the various types of criminals to find the chap that looks like your l 'I consented willingly. Then he went as we had done ten minutes before, from drawer to drawer, and after successive eli. mutations we reached the last one. N. Bertillon pointed to 6 package of about @ dozen cartes. Tn that bundle,' said he, you ought to find the scalywag that re- sembles you.' I opened the package and uttered cry. There was my portrait
 The fact is, said Bertillor, The does look
 wonderfully like you.' The trick was SC
 cleverly executed that we all burst out
 laughing. It was really very funny. But
 how do you manage to get my photograph
 said I. M. Bertillon then showed me ar
 opening in one of the corners of the room
 The delinquent, who is not aware of tn.
 existence of this eontrivance, is made ts
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
hearts content on fresh milk and bread or crackers. There has been an average at tendance of ninety children a day.

~~SSy
 Civilization isn't very thorough even in the most civilized countries Within thirty miles of New York in the mountains of Rockland county is wilder life than can be found in most States west of the Missis- sippi. There are settlements of charcoal burners and colonies of Indians and negroes of mixed blood that it would not be safe to visit without a guide. In the woods west of the village of -Ramapo, through which Washington cut military road during the Revolution, is settlement in which the people show evidences of mixture of races and qusdroons with Cau- casian features and the straight black hair and red flush of the Indians are frequently seen. There are some counties in Connec- cut and western Massachusetts which are not very high toned. -.
 Away goes another pleasing fiction. A correspondent of the Indianapolis Journal, in writing about the home of Abraham Lincoln's parents in Spencer county, Indi- ana, says: The stories of his great indus try, and particularly of the immense num- Der of rails he split, are fiction. He did not split rails here. The Lincolns had no fences, and had no need of them then, as the country was an almost unbroken will derness. After Lincoln became president a thriving business was done in the msnu- facture of canes and various other articles from rails said to have been split by him. A log cabin, said to be the original home of the Lincolns, was transported bodily to Illinois, when in fact the original cabin had been torn down and all traces of it destroyed years before.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
SINS OF ARCHITECTS.
Hygfenic Features Sacrificed for the
 Sake of Ornament.

Sake of Ornament.
 From the Popular Science Honthlyl
 In the search for the beautiful, the de- mand for impressive facades, the taste for complicated ornament, and most singu- lar appreciation of the odd, the grotesque and the ugly, there is little attention paid to matters which seem self-evident and are of vital importance. Windows are ar ranged to suit symmetrical facade, whether they are just what are needed for the rooms or not; and even where it is possible, little attention is given to the di rection of the sunlight in order that the living rooms may receive the full benefit of the natural warmth, nor are these rooms where it is not needed, or minor of fees, relegated to the exposed side. The most important external feature, the door, is seldom adjusted to the climate. Even in large office buildings, hotels and church es, where there should be ample space for every structural convenience, the door is frequently of cramped dimensions, and, instead of being preceded by a porch, which would be an integral part of the architecture, and which is absolutely es- sential in our long, cold, damp winters, is boarded up with "storm doors" that are not only hideous in design, but an actual obstruction.
 With the rapid increase in the value of land which has taken place in all our large cities in late years, a wild fear lest any inch be wasted has resulted in compact ness of plan that is frequently painful. The housekeeper longs for the roomy closets and ample store rooms of the old buildings; and the fine hall that once formed an imposing and appropriate en- trance has given place to the narrow en- try through which it is frequently impos- sible to carry the larger articles of furni- ture. The same difficulty is experienced in the sharp, frequent turns which charac- terize so many stairways. Bedrooms are pushed into corners where they seldom have the benefit of pure, free air and the heat of the sun, for no other reason than that space is required for ample reception rooms and state apartments, which, though used comparatively seldom, are ! treated as the most important part of the house.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
9rtJ Gnnds.
Howe X StGtsOl,
 ODDS AND ENDS.

We are bound to close out odds and ends before inven. tory, August 28- We submit a few values
 5 dozen Ladies Ribbed Vests at SC each.
 Odd lots Ladies' Fancy Hose (about 20 dozens) in full reg ular goods, at 12Hc per pair, usual 25c goods. = Ladies Black Silk Plated Hose, 35c per pair, our regu- lar soc quality.
 '54 pairs Drab Corsets, all in IS size, at 25c per pair; bal ance left from best 75c corset.
 A line of White Nainsook Checks at LOG per yard, re- duced from 12Hc.
 IS inch all linen Brown Crash 94c yard, 20 inch do. Sc yard just A our usual price.
 20 dozen Corset Covers, all in 90 size, at DC each, former prices from 25 to soc.
 Lot of No. I Ribbons at Sc a piece of 10 yards.
 Black Embroidered Hem- Flounces, AS in. wide, 38c, 45c, soc and Goo per yd ; reduced from 75c, zoe, $1.oo and $1.25.
 White Embroidered Lawn Ties SC and LOG each, marked down from 12Hc and 25c.
 All Linen Embroidered
  Handkerchiefs, subject to man. ufacturers' imperfections, 4 for 25c; perfect goods, worth from 25 to soc each.
 Ladies Silk Waists at $2.5o, $3.75, $500; former prices were $3.89, $6.5o and $7.5o.
 All wool Printed French Challies, 32c per yard, reduced from COG.
 Best quality Gents Scotch Cheviot Negligee Shirts 98c each, marked down from $1.5o.
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
The Emperor as an After-DInneI
 Speaker.

IPoultney Bigelow in the August Century.l
 As an after-dinner speaker the emperor has no superior in Germany. He speaks readily without notes, expresses himself with vigor, never descends to conventional commonplaces, and, above all, gives the very best assurance that his words are not prepared for him. have heard conspicu- ous speakers in England and ip our own
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17
MELILOTOS
BLAINE.
THE INTERNATIONAL CITY. GATEWAY OF ORGANIZATIONS WHERE CONIMERC MOVES WITH
 TUREC ANn IF AUT

THE 1NIEHNAIlONAL CITY.
 GATEWAY OF ORGANIZATIONS WHERE COMMERCEM MOVES WITH
 TIDE AND RAIL.
 Send to the undersigned for maps and pam Sound and the new state of Washington Blaine the future Metropolis. Population 1889, 75: 1890 2,lO0. Complete system of electric lights; water works ten miles; twelve-foot sidewalks: six miles graded streets; has best land-locked har- bor on Puget Sound Four greatest trans-conti- mental Railways. The Canadian Pacific and Great Northern Railways are just completed here. The Northern Pacific is only 16 miles away and the Union Pacific is coming as fast ss men and money can build. Now Is the time 10 buy lots and blocks and realize on the great rise in values.
 We are the largest owners. Lots range from $76 to $1 800 Lots five to ten blocks from water front, S75 and $100; choice, $1o0 to S26O. Terms One-third down; balance, one year. in eoual monthly payments. You get exactIy the saIne terms as given at our ofdces here and in Biaine By remitting ten dollars by draft, reeistered letter or telegraph, we will select for you the best unsold lots. @'''
 REFERENCES: Every bank and business firm In Seattle; Washington National Bank; Hon. E Q. Graves, President and Ex-Assistsnt nj S Treasurer; l.. H. Grif1th Reality and Rankfn1 Co. and Ex-Governor Eugene Semple SeatfIs. First National Bank; Blaine National flank and Chamber of Commerce. Blaine, Washington.
 NEW ENGLAND LAND AND HAn.
 BOR IMPROVEMENT co.
 OccInRNrAL. BLOCK. sr1r-,r w...
 Apea ataW&w6 !" .11'a Asa
Morning journal and courier., 1891-08-17

The Supreme court of Leipsic after three days of struggle decided that the use of dogs flesh in sausage is criminal
 The House of Lords has decided in the case of collision between one vessel and tug towing another vessel that it was the same thing as collision between two ves- sels. The tug and its tow is one ship. Lord Bramwell dissented.
 An unusual ground for criticism of the patent laws is to be found in the situation in which the electric street railroad and the citizens of Keokuk, Iowa, are placed. The business of the electric road there has to be suspended during every thunder shower, because the electric system which the road uses has no efficient lightning ar rester, the only reliable arrester being cov cred by the patents of another company, which refuses to sell it's devise to any street railroad corporation that does not use their system.
 American cut glass is good enough for the White House. The finest set of cut glass ever turned ont in this country has been made for the White House, at the glass works in White Mills, Wayne coun- l ty, Pennsylvania. It consists of 520 sepa- rate pieces, on each of which, from the mammoth center piece and punch bowl to the tiny salt cellars, is engraved the United States coat of arms. The work of manu- faoture has occupied months and the cost will be about 5000.
 The rich Philip Armour's charity is of a very practical kind. His most recent big good deed is the establishment in Chicago of a day nursery for the infant children of the poor. He has erected there substantial
 building on plot of ground sufficient for
 the pasturage of seven COWS, and has laid
 out fine playground for the children,
 fitted up with hammocks and diminutive
 chairs and tables. Every baby that if
 brought theze is welcomed, and fed to itl