Tombstone epitaph., 1891-01-25
DEACON sUaberrg.
tih wluy TaIks Out Q msssla' Upo-
 Iiussiy Iopi--.

erapa, said Ethel, q yo not thisk you ore fast to Mr Sophomore; we8 walking sith him last night His head is fuli ot ideas. sYes, yea, said the professor, and went on rsadiag ths proof Of his lecture on Micro Seopie Theaght,a I've eaznet reallze the in- finite littleRsss Of the cholera bacteria, xhsr vs know that 80 oo0. .00O. .910 o9 them oceupy space no larger than pins heaL' Yes. yesi ss you say, he has 6 great many .deas, but eiey aFeS----gcss on readidg proof
 NEEK EAsHRo fHE VOLUNTEER AT 4,
 T am weary of ihis hum. rum liie,H said Ialliopus "why, what are yoa dciugF Tuning hnrdy gsrdies." SShass; GU, Eritipg speeches on tariff reduction"
 Eu1 EKRK YE WELL, AULB IHETLE BKEl
 Young Mr. Sawboaes, first year in medical eolsgs; secs an editorial headed srbe Dan ger of ApsthyS-@Ths incoTnprshenSibls iz norance of Ihess edisors r he sxelaims grand. ly; ~tbsy write about things Of shieh they know absolutely nothing. Nov, you take apathy in time and there isll'F dangerous feature in it: tae yeFisst quEck eaR handle k" Puts on his hat and goes out to look af- Der e case Of incipient inertia
 YH ASRLIss MueHr-I prNNA KEN.
 Lasyer B1ldezsr-Uo you. know anything about George ThoTpel Stupid Witness-Yss, Aaf- ASeN lSf D. aAa l1u 10t Ap Fou htt84 any good about himl WitneA-No, sir 'aoh, you aon'ti Well, then, so you know anything bad about hinF wiszssss-No, air Then, for msrey's sake, what do y5a know about himF7 sI know be died twenty years before tEea' heard of bim.'
 sT5 .E HkK A zTAKE
 4 Boston broker los. wallet containing ei5,0oO on the street and a neWsboy found t and brought 1t to ths owner. The man struggled with 6 terrible temptation to be mean and sordid for raogneut, and shsn forgetting sell and casting to the winds his greed of gain as hs tFaIaplsd the temptation under bis feet, gave the honest boy peTnais- sion to go on the Common and play every day. %Ws can trust you" sobbed the grnte- tul alss; eve know that yea will keep Otf the gIass.H Oh. how often this opportunity tc make otbers happy by 6 kind uor6, 6 gentle smile or some little act of kindnsss knocks a cur doors and we heed is not, untH 1t is tot late. Oh, that more people were like tlls Boston lnaH- fP. S.-Thsy are.l
 ~wHEs HANz YE NkKKF
 Where, oh, where has the young EnaI, gone who graduation clothes pat on, sosns time along the last Of May, and owned the whole wide world for a days And where is tbs sweet girl graduats, who CGaHted an essay dread with fate and started out with gig ging frosn to tura this cld world upside dOanl Ard where is lsst years candidate, Nho had things f1ed for this years siatss Who carried around, as you'd believe. couple Of counties in his slsevei And where is the scribe with waiting will who tried s bong felt want tc fill. and cOurted Ebekeis and TsBOsn wita a miHion paper in a bourgeois toWni The lad has divided tise woTld up fair and holds but bis own eight biliionth sbEres the sweet girl grad is grand surprise, ana conoaers the world with well made pies: the candidate with toe dsathlesz sgalls Is fixing himself for another fEll; while the journalist with Che naughty crest has gone the wsy oS last years nest. So year by year and day s~ day the world runs on in the same old way; shs balloon that Is biggest round about k the azbt3est rag when the gas is oRt.
 IT HAKs AS usco' LEEwAY.
 Tbsrs is one thing Iguatius O'DonneiIy might have done very easily. if be had thought Of it--he might do 1t yst-pTOve tEai H4ITist BsecbeE Stowe didn't write the <Uncls Foai's Cabin that is presented on the s.ags Gen times week all through and between Ehs seasoa. He could find plenty O ciplsers, in sba cast: the two Topseys, the aso Markses, tbe two doakeys, and the latest company au. nou1res t4g5 Uncle Tonls-these, with she four meat hounds woald give sn ingenious snah cipileFs enough to prove anything.
 AZ SWAT VT DREAD
 as tters any benefit ia monopoliesF- asked the teacyaeT. @T5ere Is, answered the smart bad boy. EAud what is itfH aow.ziIlS au in. terest iH oIss" He was keps in two hcuTs.
 REAL AzD IMITATION BABIES.
 A Boston woman comes out in print to de nouncs atias linguaI dish wash, popuIarly known as baby talk oa, well, that's to bs expected in BsanyilEe, where Joseph Cook is regarded As a model ehild's Hurss as.a primary Kindergarten teacher. We believe, firmly believe, that a baby who! whichi thasf Is born with eye glasses and theory sbould be called a babe at birth and sd- dressed as str or madam
 OaE urs7a year Hlachins made babei knew one long ago His name gFas Hznderson Ingraham StiliyeatheT, and bis parent 8 called hfan that when be was iB his cradle He Was but years old when first F3et him, doUp hy tbs Illinois river Hesaid te Hss= -E.<-slss me, sir, lsut could yoE kindly eniiglien ma a. 70 the charactsg Of this strange looking craft toward s,aich our steps are fefsiisZ rnd, also can you tsiI uts to whom docs it balougf7 ] elatcheA the little Ifsoasaar by thO Beek and held him under tiie drelge 5oat for. an sour. I Iezpecte.i scene with hE mother. but zlss only said that -tien3srsOn WIS rery Eai advanced: lsis Uncie Dsnnison did mes sroEFs auth he Sas a They didn't bury Render son They ps<@sed him 5ets cen the pages oi Colto .s Atlas, and he fastssed cut and dried just Ike Q fern That's what b@c0uSei eG shas sort Of chiiireu 1 am glad drowned hiIn. sm looking eroaHd for mor' Hke hiIa People who Nean their infants oE dictionaries EiI do well % keep them undel t- Brooklyn Eagle.