New-York tribune., 1891-05-03
THE CHEAP SWELL.
A TYPE IN NETWORK SOCIETY.
New-York letter to The San Francisco Argonau'

cafes and theatreS anu WIN So w One H -
This cheap swell is a peculiar bird. Only the
close observer of metropolitan manners Iathoms
the dusk in which his existence is shrouded, un-
derstands the strange pose that he man we'll
bodied, able intelligent and good-looking, has
chosen TO adopt. To the tourist. the careless
native the easy-going lounger, the cheap sWem vel
is pure gold, genuine coin, ringing true, fqil
weight, good to pass anywhere. IL is only tne
keen-eyed faneur, who knows his Gotham from
Peck Slip to Manhattanvile, that realizes what a
mongrel the creature is, what on lneHectuaI anu
futile lie is the existence he elects TO lead.
Some weeks ago mentioned in one of my letters
that modish and dainty young woman VINO, llV
ing on starvation ratOns in a fourth-rate board
ing-house. vet was able to make q splendid figure
on the avenue in the afternoon and TO dazzle the
first-nighters at the theatre in the evening Inc
cheap swell is her male prototype. "lIa MN, H. as rs
harmless as he generally is, IL takes the form OF
dressing gorgeously. hanging about expensive ana
flrst-rate restaurants, haunting the loDhies OF
theatres on first Nights lOafing in cafes about the
dinner hour, and sauntering on the avenue at the
time for the promenade.
lie has violent ambition to be some one, and
has no money place wherewith to attain his
aim He dresses himself with the greatest care
and in as close imitation of the real swels as he
can manage. He has almost the genuine air, for
he follows the fashions with the cOseness and
keenness of a fading belle. Pe0De who are not
observing or who are unused to the ways of the
city regard him with tempered awe one Of the
sons Of the Gilded Glasses and this Is the balm
that can heal any wounds the world may inftlct
upon him. Even people who are deniZens of town
take him for some one who is a parsonage, for
they always see him where the world congregates.
radiantly dressed basc. austere. pale, staring at
women with the look of bored indifference of the
man tired of coy trihing languid, superb and
naughty.
With the supreme assurance of his class, he
calmly forces his way TO the front. He quietly
assumes the right Of ownership of one of the
window-tabes at Dels. No one knows how he
has done this, but the passcfs in the street are
familiar with his clean-shaven visage and smooth
ly brushed hair at this choice spot, and, peeping
at him from across the iron fence, he reads his
paper and sips his coffSe, they suppose him to be
one Of the great ones Of this earth on whose
mOneyed hands time hangs heavily. II they could
speak with the walters they would hear quite
different story. The garcons all detest him, for
he would sooner die than give them so much as
q dime. He strolls in at half-past as though he
owns the place. drifts to his pet table, and there
between languid surveys of the carte and gances
at the paper, he whies away an hour and half
with cup Of coffee and an Omelette excuse.
Then for few hours he disappears, to turn up.
splendidly arrayed early in the evening. lie is
I'm evening-dress of the finest cut and fit. Leav-
ing his light overcOat on the rack, he lounges into
the cafe, takes table, and resorts here to the
evening paper With dollar and half In his
pocket, he spends forty-fve cents on brandy
andsoda, and sips this. looking bored and drowsy
Then the evening gets on apace, he looks at his
watch, raises his brows, and. with the other men,
wlro hurry away to meet their evening engage
ments, he, too, departs. Judging by his air ana
style. half-a-doZen society queens have begged Tor
And as he swaggers down the cafe steps, he turns
ND the collar of his coat, lights a cigarette, and
strOlls up the avenue, where the great houses are
beginning to he lit for the evening entertainments
and the carriages rattling by, bearing beauty
TO dinner, theatre and opera But at none OF these
hospitable portals does he pause. Instead, after
walking briskly for block or two, he suddenly
turns down a cross-street that brings him near
the facade Of Dalys Theatre.
Here he takes n stand near the entrance
Throwing back his coat to display the elegance OF
his inner vestments, with his hat carelessy tipped
lie stands at ease, Ogling the beauties as they
| rustic in He stares persistently and resolutely,
and with an insolence that is almost intoerable
in its tranquil placidity. No one dstur6s him IN
of infuriated gances that leave him unscathed ana
peaceful as the summer sea. when the play
within is well under way, he approaches the WIN
dow Of the box-ofllce, somewhat furttvey thrsts
in his dollar, and demands an admission ticket.
Then he goes in, and stands about, looking Dored
and yawning whenever he sees anybody noticing
him. His expression, in its scornful WEAKNESS,
says that this play is desperately dull. He has
Just dropped in, and he is glad to get OUT soon
again. Between the acts he retreats to nelgh-
boring cafe, and there lounging ana weafiea nc
smokes his own cigarettes and drowses amld tneir
fumes. At the rise of the curtain ne Is III .he
theatre again, this time with his back against
pillar his feet crossed and his eyes on the ground
| i'm absent minded reverle. -,
| left to 80 home with. II it is soft ana pleas
ant night he debates within himself wiener ne
And then he studies his patent-leather SHOES anu
wonders whether the long walk VIII nor taKe
more than q nicleps worth OF wear OUT OF tneI1. H.
Besides he is desperately hungry, ana thc Walk
| will whet his appetite TO raging degree IN the
! old DAYS. -Ws>Rn he first went 10 D0ard aJ MS
| present domicile-where he has nan peuroom
and hoard for seven dollars a week-thc landlady
treated him with distinguished consideration, ana
used to leave out supper for nm at nlght. one
thought he was the child OF wealthy parents, or .
| young man under cloud. and yet with great e%
| pcctatOns But those halcyon days are passed.
lie owes her matter OF two hundred doilars now,
and it is oriy by tho greatest coaXing ana pr9ms'
ing to pay that he can prevail upon the stubborn
| ciCature to iron out his trousers and take the
stains out of his coat with benzine and ammonia.
| That both he and his attitude are fraudulent
| can be detected in several ways. In the nret
place, he is always alone The singular nature or
the deception that he practses make isolation an
unavoidable penalty. Real swells want none OF
with men of his ilk. Sham swels. like himself,
be Is afraid of. So many styles Of blackguardism
use trim exterior and well.cut coat as mask.
This poor cheap swell is innocent OF all vlllany.
and he wants TO continue his little harmless game
Of play without incurring unpleasant risks As
for men OF his own means who have no amoltlon
hats, he would rather die than be seen in their
company, The bud of Murray Hill would q, soon
think OF parading the avenue aru-ln-arm with the
latest success al the Casino as the cheap swell
exchange one passing word with the chum OF
his schooldays who Is clerk in shoestore on
Si1th.ave. So his weakness condemns him to an
isoletion almost as complete as that OF Robinson
Crusoe.
Another point in which the cheap swell betrays
! himself IS in his attire His funds are invariably
low. and he spends them cautiously putting ont
his money where il will make the best showing.
Thus; while in the matter of ooats and trousers
and hats he is always at the top Of the fashion,
lie Is apt 10 be little weak on shoes and linen.
Men who seriously consider their dress always
wear linen of an exceeding thickness and devoid
ination. But. like all luxuries. thick and lustre-
| less linen comes high, too high for the purse