Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1891-10-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

| -Subscribsr -''Why is my paper SC
damp every issue?" Editor-"Because
there is so much due on it,;
Young Bride-"What shall cook
to-day, GeorgeP" Young Husband-"O
don't care what, but I'd like to know
what we're going to have to eat"
-"How many seconds are in a min.
ute?" "Do you mean real minute.
mamma, or one of your great big wait
a-minutes?'- indianapolis journal.
Did He Pop?-He-"Tallsing about
names, wish could get mine changed
think it is too ugly for anything" She
enthusiastically)-o 1 don't. l thinl
1t is just lovely. ."-Demorests Magazine
"A petrifed hog has been found nea,
Clarksville, Tenn. 1t is supposed he wa,
petrified by seeing another hog uncros,
his legs in street car when wefl.
dressed woman wanted to pass. Buff
falo Express.
Same Old Story.-C@sar the Great
Crossing the Rubicon)- you go'
any ferry tickets with you?" Johr
Smith-"No, haven't. Knowing that :,
was going to cross the ferry, 1 left then
all at home"
A Self-Protec ted Fe male. - She.
%, sir; am so terrified. Do you thinl
there is any danger of my meeting any
thieves on this lonely road?" He-'No
madam; not if they see you first
Worcester Record.
Mr.. Dolley (tenderly) = "Mis,
Scadds, indulge the hope of some day
winning your love" Miss Scadds
Shaking her head)-''My friends tell
me that you indulge too much, Mr..
Dolley."-Epoch.
He Had Been There.-Mr. Money.
wed-'O, dear! 1t seems to me that you
never can find the way to your pocket"
Mrs. Moneywed-"You found YOU
way to it without much difficulty WHOM
we were first married." - Brooklyn
Eagle.
-Critic-"Say, what's the matter
with that love scene in the second act?
Same people you had last year, amt
they?" Manager-"Yes, but, hang it,
they went and got married soon after
we played here last season. ."-Boston
News.
Can read your paper?" asked the
man in the rear seat. II don't know
whether you can or not" replied the
Boston man ahead of him, "but you
may try if you choose" and it took the
brakeman, the news agent and the con-
ductor to separate them. Toledo Blade.
-"Yes" remarked the young man,
"Miss Caster is truly fortunate young
woman. She was born with silver
spoon in her mouth" 'And don't you
think" rejoined his companion, who
had been attentive to the lady, ''that it
must have been an ice cream spoon?"-
Washington Star.
"A Cautious Employer.-Employ
-"Can you write good hand?" Ap.
plicant-"Yes, SIR" Employer-"Can
you initiate handwriting?" Applicant
-"Yes, sir, perfectly" Employer
"You can, eh? Then l don't want you.
You might initiate mine. Good-day,
sir"-Yankee Blade.
"A Fool in Two Ways. - Jinks
'Well, if ever there was fool that
man is one. He's worth cool million,
yet he stands waiting for a newsboy to
bring him two cents change out of
nickel he gave the boy for three cent
paper" Bliuks-''Well, he is fool
Of course he'll never see that boy
again. n."-Demorest's Magazine.
why will you associate with such
men as Flimsey?" asked Brown. For
my part, l always endeavor to associate
with men who are my superiors." at
can't be hard work for you to find
them," replied Fogg, but am differ
ent from you lam always willing that
my friends should associate with their
superiors."
Trying to Escape.