The Press., 1891-02-26
CHUCKER'S TROUSERS.

How far it is expedient to convert rail- way carriage into dressing room is ques- tion which would be quickly solved in the negative in continental countries, where guards walk along the footboards and col lect tickets while the train is in motion.
 But in England passenger who likes to change his attire in first class compart- ment is, as a rule, pretty secure from in- terruption.
 At least so thought MT. Barnaby Chuck er as he alighted from a hanson at Pad dington and rushed across the platform, which contained complete change of raiment-to wit, dress clothes.
 Mr. Chucker had received an invitation to dine at Windsor, with some friend of influential position, but being busy man he had not found time to dress at his office in the city or at his chambers at the West End Stepping into the train he slipped shilling into the hand of the guard and said:
 Keep this compartment; I want to dress.''
 'All right, sir,' answered the guard, and the next moment the train started.
 Mr. Chucker then unlocked his carpet bag and drew out clean shirt, with other
  ment.
 It must not be supposed that he did this without reluctance, for he was a great stickler about all the proprieties of life. He objected to seeing things out of season. If he had caught his best friend changing his pantaloons in railway carriage he would have thought meanly of him for being Of disorderly habits, and so now he judged himself with candid severity for not having better regulated his own time.
 "If an accident occurred" unused he, as he removed his coat and waistcoat, II wonder what would be thought of me for being half undressed in a train?"
 This reflection made him redden. He was shy, middle aged man, with large red ears and fat, forid face. The effect of pulling off his boots always suffused his countenance with crimson, and it did 80 now, insomuch that, what with the color that came from physical exertion and that which resulted from troubled con science, MT. Barnaby Ghucker looked truly distressed. Having removed his boots, he denuded himself of his trousers This was trying moment, for if an accident had happened thenl
 'tWhy, why, dear mel" calculated MT. Chucker at this stage of his cogitations, 'I think the train-no, it cannot be-is stopping"
 The train was stopping in effect, as MT. Chucker might have foreseen that it would do, since he was not travelling by express; but he had been so enwrapped in his self upbraiding thoughts that he had not even noticed the first slackening of the engines speed.
 He now found himself in the midst of very disreputable litter of clothes, and with no time to redress himself before the train stopped.
 He had to decide hastily whether he would steam alongside Ealing platform in his shirt sleeves or minus his pantaloons.
 He chose wisely in huddling on his coat, which he buttoned up, while he covered his lower man with his railway rug. This done, he collected as many of his belong ings as he could into his bag, kicked his boots under seat and tried to look digni- fled.
 The train had come to standstiH now, and guard opened the door of the car riage in which our hero was sitting and cried:
 'sThere's room here, sir, for you and this lady"
 'Hi, guardp' exclaimed MT. Chucker, leaning out in horror, ''you told me I should have this compartment to myself"
 Unfortunately for our modest friend the guard to whom he had given the shilling was not the one appointed to travel with the train. These little mistakes often oc- cur and lead to unpleasant consequences.
 The present guard said bluntly: "I can't give you 8 compartment to your self unless you pay for it, sir. It's against the rules. Here, madam, step in, please"
 A lady who looked in very delicate health got into the carriage and gentleman with her. MT. Barnaby Chucker felt ready to swo0n. Before he could inform the guard of his readiness to pay for a whole com partment sooner than have his privacy in- truded upon, the train was off again, and MT. Chucker fell to rejecting how he should effect his change of carriages at Slough, now that he was in no fit state to step on to 8 platform. The train in which he travelled was not bound straight for Windsor, but for Birmingham, and MT. Chucker would have to change at Slough if he wished to dine with his friends that evening.
 Alasi a more urgent difficulty than that involved in 8 change of carriages soon pre- sented itself to him, for no sooner had the train started than the lady who had just stepped in began to moan and to shiver, saying that she felt cold all over. Her husband sought to quiet her, but it was all of no use, for she was really ill. At last the poor man looked in despair at MT. Chucker, and politely said:
 "Excuse me for taking great liberty, sir, but would you be so kind as to lend my wife your rug? We started in 8 hurry THEY ALL FAiLED.-The fo lowing letter from MT. ": A Thomson, of Columbus, Wis, is peculiarly in ger My wife" says he, "has been treated three doctors in New York, two in Chicago, one in Philadelphia one in Cinclnnat and atthe large in stitute in Buffalo for Is months They aalkfaifed But one bottle of pr. Miles help ed her wonderfully" This should be used in all headaches, 6ackaches changes of life nervous dis turhances, fits, rheumatism, etc. Ask at w. D.. hEALD'S Drug Store for free tria bottle and Dr. Miles new book on the Nerves and Heart.