davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
WANTED VENGEANCE.
RE Conductor Listened, Alasi but Didn't
Catch On.

Catch On.
When conductor on a Chicago sub
4rban train approached a heavy set, red
headed fellow the fellow said, Look
here, YOU have already punched my tick
ct twice
"Well, but why do you give it to me
twice.
Because" the fellow replied, lyon
came along and held out your hand, and
| was tempted to see how often you
would punch away my salary, for it takes
about all | make to buy monthly ticket.
Hold on" he added, when the conductor
began to move off. Il have discovered
that you are IA robber, and am going to
call you TO account. am going to whip
you. sir.
Il reckon not" said the conductor.
But reckon l am. | have noticed
for several years a growing disposition
on all sides to rob me, and | have made
: up my mind that l am going to whip
every man who feel sure is a robber.
1 know that you have robbed me, and
, am going to whip you. Wait minute.
! Lest you think there may be some doubt
as to my ability to perform my duty il
! this matter, let me say that have three
medals presented to me by different box
! ing associations. What time will you
/ be at leisure?'
! Il don't know" said the conductor.
| well, no matter, for have day off
! and can ride with you until the desired
opportunity presents itself"
The conductor, who was evidently
| disturbed, went into a forward car
When he returned few minutes latel
he discovered that the revengeful fellow
was gone.
What became of that red headed
man." he asked.
He got off at the last station" pas
senger replied. by the way, why didn'
you make him pay his fare?"
Because he said that l had alread,
! punched his ticket twice"
Yes, he sail so, but the truth is yol
did not punch it at all. He had N,
ticket. He lives at Madison Park, ant
is known as the biggest deadbeat in tn
community. Arkansas Traveller.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
EPOCH.

The transition from long lingering
and painful sickness to robust health
marks an epoch in the life of the individ-
usl. Such a remarkable event is treas
ured in memory and the agency whereby
the good health has been attained is
gratefully blessed. Hence it is that so
much is heard in praise OF Electric Bit
tiers. So many feel they owe their res
toration to health, to the use of the great
Alternative and tonic. If you are troubled
with any disease of kidneys. liver or
stomach, of long or short standing you
will surely find relief by use of Electric
Bitters. Sold at soc and 81 per bottle
at Hartz & Bahnsen's drug store.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

In referring to the McConochie- Kohler-
Haas combination against Aid. Schroe-
der, yesterday. the types made US say
cold" instead OF AID Schroeder. We
had no intention of speaking disrespect>
fully of the Sixth ward alderman, and
hasten to apologize for the seeming lack
of court sy. The combination against
him exists, however. Just the sama.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

A harmless cosmetic is half a cupful of
oatmeal and two and one-half cups of
water. Let it stand overnight, and in the
morning turn Off the water and coarser
part of the meal; strain the rest, and add
enough bay rum to make it the thickness
of cream. Apply to the face, hands and
neck every night and frequently during
the day. 1t will make them very soft
Herald of Health
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
Do You Coughi

Don'tdelsy. Take Kemps 3slssm. the
best cough cure. II will cure your
coughs and colds. 1t will cure pains in
the chest 1t will cure induenza and
bronchitis and all disc ises pertaining tc
the lungs because it is pure balsam
Hold i to the light and see how clear and
thick it is. You will see the excelIe n,
effect after taking the first dose. Large
bottles SOC and 81.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
BUCKLRN's ARNIcA sALvR.

The best sslve in the world for cuts,
csu'ses, sores, ulcers. salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblsins.
co.ue and sill skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles, or no pay required. II
Is guaranteed 10 give perfect satisfaction
or rlo1ey refunded. Price 25 cents pei
box For ssle BY Hsrtz & Bshnsen.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
Dome site Peace.

Policeman (excitedly to boy on the
fence outside) - What's going ON in
there, Johnny? Having war dance
with all the neigbbors on the square?
Johnny (composedly) - Nope. Only
nam insistin' on dad spendin' his even
ms at home.-Washingto Post
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
TUESDAY. FEBRUARY "a 1891

A DOWN EAST congregation wanted 20
get rid of its pastor and reduced his salary
from $1,000 to 81 90. The hint didn't
work, and the obnoxious preacher still
sticks at the reduced figure He doubts
less thinks he knows his own value fully
as well as does his congregation.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
Pretty Far Come

Myrtle-He's awfully attentive to her,
you know
Lilly-How far has he gone?
Myrtle-Very far, I'm afraid. He held
her prayer book upside down at church
yesterday, and Tn sure l heard him say
ga woman" instead of ''amenr-New
York Ledger.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
Rewarded Mt Last.

I'm catching our' exclaimed the am
bilious young literary chap Here's
one of my poems printed in New York
paper IN the column headed a Little
Nonsense. Chicago Tribune.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

There are at present 1904 languages
spoken by the inhabitants of our globe,
whose religious convictions are divided be
tween 200 different confessions OF faith.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
The Dear Girls.

Ethel-Cla-a went to Europe to get
married, did she: I'd like to see the
man I'd go to Europe to marry.
Maud-Without doubt, or Timbuctoo
either, l fancy.-New York Herald.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
The Sc isoD Over.

Chollie (singing How can | leave
thee?
Ethel (coldly)-The front door is still
doing business at the old stand Try
that. - Nov York Herald
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24
STATE OF OHIO. CITY OF TOLEDO.

LUCAS COUNTY
Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that he is
the senior partner of the firm of E. j.
Cheney & Co.. doing business in the city
of Toledo. county aud state aforesaid, and
that said firm will pay the sum of one
hundred dollars for each and every ca Sc
of catarrh that cannot be cured ty the
use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J CHENEY.
Sworn TO before me and Subscribed in
my presence, this 9th day of December,
A. D.. 1886.
\~ A. W. GLEASON,
SEAL Notary Public.
~~)
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
and acts directly upon the blood aud
mucous surfaces of the system. Send
for testimonials, free.
F. J. CHENEY s. Co.. Props, Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists. 75c.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

Watcher crowding the cars is right or
not, great many people stand up for it..
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

The rszor is so.cslled. of course, be.
cause it enables Q man to raze whiskers.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

A believer in signs should be cured Of
his superstition when he entrrs the dime
museum
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1891-02-24

1t is not surprising that man want
ing divorce should find it dear than his
wife was TO him.
The record-union., 1891-03-08
A VERY QUEER FAMILY.
All the Seven Children Have Peculia
characteristics.

All the Seven Children Have Peculiar
characteristics.
A Munson Pa.) dispatch to the Phila-
delphia Inquirer says: People in this To-
callty claim to have among them the queer
est family as to physical popularity in
the whole country. Jacob HERS, q farmer
in moderate circumstances, has seven
children. The oldest is Is, a bright boy,
but having thirteen fingers and thirteen
toes-seven on one hand and six on the
other, his toes being similarly divided.
Next to him is another boy IA years old
As long as this boy is quiet no one would
suppose he had any popularity, but the
moment he opens his mouth to talk he
loses all control of his hands. arms, feet
and legs, and they jerk and thrash and
kick around as if they were hung on
wires.
The boy is as slow of speech as his
limbs are active, and in answering sim
pie question it is no uncommon thing for
his legs to have carried him rod or more
away before he is able to articulate yes or
no. The boy does not seem to mind his
affiiction, and not only does not hesitate
to respond OF try to, when he is addressed,
but is always ready to begin conyersa-
ton on the slightest excuse. He can be
seen almost any day arguing with or ex-
planning some point to some companion,
who is kept constantly busy either in
avoiding the involuntary kicks or blows
OF Lne boys Sprightly feet or hands or
in following him briskly to keep the run
of the subject.
The third child is girl, who is a hunch-
back and a dwarf. She is II years old. A
boy next to her is deaf and dumb. The
fifth child has a bright red birthmark en-
circling her neck like piece of red fam
mel. 1t is an inch and a half wide. The
other two children are twins, 3 months
old-a boy and girl. The boys head is
covered with hair enough for a grown
person, while the girl twin hasn't the
sight of hair upon the head, the lit
tie poll being as white and shiny as bill
lard ball. The girl is fat and the boy
lean. When the boy laughs the girl cries
Justify, and when his little sister is merry
the boy sheds tears and yells.
Every one of these seven children is
handsome and mentally bright. Mrs.
HERS is fine-looking woman, and her
husband is sound physically and mem
tally.
The record-union., 1891-03-08
A Story of Bismarck.


A very amusing story was told about
Chancellor Bismarck by Earl Russell.
The incident occurred at Versailles dur
ing the war of 1870. Lord Russell was to
have an audience. and he was waiting for
Count Won Arnim to leave Bismarck s
study. Presently Won Arnim came out,
tanning himself ftlriously with his hand
kerchief
II really cannot understand" ;" said he.
show Bismarck can live in such an at
mosphere; he is continually smoking, and
the strongest cigars, too. l had to ask
him to open the window, for could not
stand it."
Then he took leave of Lord Russell and
went his way. AS soon as Lord Russell
entered the room Bismarck said to him:
What strange tastes some people have!
There is Won Arnim, now, who has just
gone out of the room; it is a lad of his to
scent himself up to an unbearable degree,
and to-day the perfume was so intense
that had to open the window"
The record-union., 1891-03-08
A curious phenomenon was rncortl,,

A curious phenomenon was recently
observed on the sea at FollSestone,
England. a ship laden with oil sunk i'm
collision and the water was covered with
oil. This produced strange effect ON the
wild fowl which are plentiful there.
Wild ducks, tell and other birds were
easily caught, as they seemed unable to
fly on account of their feathers BEING
saturated with oil.
The record-union., 1891-03-08
IN RELIGIONS REALM.
Expressions from the Various
Religious Newspapers.
The Religious Thought of the Day as
Expressed in the Sectarian Press
Some Matters of Interest to Both
Ministers and Laymen.

The Christian Register (Unit.) says
Lent may not be much as an iastitu-
t1on, but certainly, in busy world like
this, it is valuable as an oppOrtunity; and
II is wholesome sign of the times that
other churches besides those which have
inherited it as sacred obligation, are be-
ginning to avail themselves of it. Ger
tainly, there is not too much of the ele-
ment OF worship among our liberal
churches; and we earnestly commend to
our readers the announcement OF extra
'Lenten Services in our Boston Unitarian
churcheSn .
The record-union., 1891-03-08
Woman.

Woman.
/ knew q certain Ounce
Whose days were full of woe
Because n willful woman once
To him said "No."
know man whose life
Is one long wretchedness
Because maid became his wife
BY saying .tYes."
Oh, woman you're an i'll!
Which there's no way to shunt!
You break our hearts both when you will
And when you won't!
George Horton,
The record-union., 1891-03-08

The Churchnaan says: "The Rev. Dr..
A. +. Schauffler has been writing to The
Evening Post about the cause for the dis
proportionate growth Of the Episcopal
church in this city as compared with the
other denominations He says it is no
longer possible to aver that what draws
people to the church is either its superior
attractiveness of ritual or its doctrinal
looseness.' He finally puts it down to
the doubling of ordinary working
forces; i. e., the multiplication of minis
ters attached to each single congregation.
This, among other things, enables the
church to be kept open all summer, and
often saves it from being shut six days in
tho week. Our Lord sent His eyangelists
out two by two, and, of course, two are
better than one, for if they fall, the one
Will lift up his fellow The cooperation
OF two or more men mutually deepens
responsibility. Woe unto him that is
alone when he falleth. for he hath not
another to help him up To put one
man at the head of q congregation of
thousands, not only overtaxes physical
and intellectual strength, but it is apt to
produce egotism, or at least individual
ism. Working with others is a fine
school for developing usefulness and
self-knowledge, and this makes minis
ter powerful for good. We agree with
DR.. Schauffier that the isolation of minis
tiers is often prejudicial to their efficiency.
and we wish that the big churches OF the
city had twice as many clergymen on
their staff as they at present support
The result of such an increase Of helpers
would be increased efficiency and power,
The record-union., 1891-03-08

baroness Nathaniel Rothschild, who
recently purchased the celebrated Strauss
collection OF objects of Hebraic art, has
presented it to the Cluney Museum in
Paris. One of the finest and most curious
objects is huge ark of walnut wood.
ornamented with fifty-four panels.
superbly carved.
The record-union., 1891-03-08

King Albert, of Saxony. is 80 vaars olds
and has been on the throne for II years
DE Is a huntsnan of note, and is at homo
III III the forests OF the Bohemian frontier.
Inc hunting dinners at which he presides
recall the great feasts that his ancestors
had or similar occasions. Each hunts
man Is nero for the evening, according
nus prowess IL the field. When man
mas shot stag he is entitled to wear a
oranch OF FIR i'll his hat, and a branch Of
OAK adorns him who has killed adcer.
The record-union., 1891-03-08

The Congyegationatist says: at is a
significant fact that fifteen ministers are
employed on the daily press of New York
not indicate missionary zeal on the part
OF the newspapers, but it shows that re-
hgion is a matter of growing interest, and
that the constituency which is most valu-
able to the secular press demands to know
what is going on in the world of religious
thought and life. 1t is encouraging to
note that scandals concerning ministers
and churches no longer monopolize the
columns devoted to religious matters.n
The record-union., 1891-03-08

The wool clip of New Mexico for this
year is estimated at 15. .000, 900 pounds.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-07-19
PRODUCTION OF SUGAR.

Table Prepared by the Commissioners Of In
ternal Revenue for the Current Year.
WASHINGTON, July 1s.-The Commits
sioner of Internal Revenue has prepared q
statement of the probable production of
sugar during the current fiscal year. OF
which the following is a summary:
Number of producers of sugar from cane,
73O; from beets. seven; from sorghum. three:
from maple sap. 1882; total, 4,672. Estimate
of amount of sugar which will be
produced from cane sugar, 5OO.OOO.OO0
pounds; beet sugar. 29.210.OOO pounds; sor-
ghum sugar. 2,50O. 900 pounds; maple sugar,
100000 pounds; total. $50, 10000 pounds.
Estimate Of amount of bounty to be paid:
On cane sugar, SIC. 35O. 600; on beet sugar.
S5S4.OO0; on surghum sugar, $4,000; on ma
pie sugar. $4,000; total. 81 1.134.2
The production of sugar from beets so far
as the issue of licenses Is concerned. is con-
fined to California. Nebraska. Utah and
Virginia. There are three producers In
California with an estimated production
from six thousand acres of sixteen million
pounds, One-half of which is attributed to
the Western Beet Sugar Company. of San
Francisco. whose factory is located at Wat
sonville, Santa Cruz county. The Virginia
production is estimated at ten thousand
pounds. The estimated production of
sugar from sorghum cane is di.
vided between Kansas. with pro-
ductiOn from 4,034 acres OF 2,5OO,00O
pounds, snd Missouri. with twenty six
acres. producing 10000 pounds. The pro-
ductiOn of sugar from sugar cane is dis
tributed as follows: Louisiana, with 704
factories, ST. 1872 200 pounds: Texas. with
fifteen factories. IA .S07 600 pounds: Florida,
with eleven factories, 3.5Sl. 500 pounds,
making a total of $40. $40. 700 pounds.
Since April /, 1891, to May 81, 1891. there
has been imported free of duty under the
new tariff, 2.1G9.l5 pounds of beet sugar.
and 732. 5O4 pounds of cane and other
sugars, making total of 2, 90l, 662 pounds.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-07-19

accomplished by the department of manu-
features of the Census Bureau. Now that
the population is practically out of the
way the business men all over the country
naturally are anxious to learn what has
been the mercantile and manufacturing
progress of the country in the past decade,
and every day letters are received ask.
ing when bulletins will be issned.
Mr.. Frank Williams, who has charge
are about all completed. with the exception
of Philadelphia and one or two other cities,
including Baltimore. where the department.
seems to be In q chronic squabble with the
dentists MIR. Williams promises that
public. His force is now engaged In get
ting into shape for publication the sta
tistIcs for Washington, Indianapolis and
st. Louis. and bulletins will be issued very
promptly. There will be many surprises
and not few disappOintments. but he has
In every instance selected men in whose
experience of each city's resources. of
whose capacity for statistical work he has
bad evidence by their work in previous GEN.
suses Concurrently with these bulletins
or the cities there will be issued bulletins
which are of general interest. One
has already been issued. The luin-
Der bulletin of the Northwest takes
up the lumber industry from the moment
the woOdman enters the forest with his ak
until as an deliberately finished product. it
is placed on sale in the stores. Thus he
VIII also take M the cotton industry In the
Massachusetts towns. Fall River for in
stance, the carpet industry of Philadel-
phla and elsewhere. the butter industry In
New Jersey, Indiana and wherever else
it may appear, SO that besides the mere
figures ofswhat each city has done in an in
dependent way the department will issue
bulletins of a far greater general value by
presenting In concise but very conpre.
hensive shape the various industries of
this country. Strange as it may seem, the
vast canning industries of the country will
not come in for q special bulletin.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-07-19
NOTED SwINDLER DEAD.
Suicide OF George T. Parker Who Dipped Many
Legacy. hunting Americans

New YORK. July 1s.-George F. Parker
committed suicide In London Yesterday.
He was well known TO the police In this
city. and his picture is i'm the rogue's gal
lery. In 1875 he was arrested here for lar
ceny aud was sent to prison for three years.
Previously he had been arrested in
the United States for forgery. In
1857 he was at the head of a
concern called The British American
claim agency" which had offices in the
Stewart building. The offices were sump-
tuousIy furnished. and many young women
were employed as clerks and type-writers.
Circulars were sent broadcast throughout
the country to persons who were informed
that legacies awaited them in this country
or in England. 1t is said fully fifty thou
sand dupes were induced TO contribute
money for alleged expenses in prosecuting
their claims TO the mythical legacies.
Parker was finally arrested, but obtained
his release on bail, his wife becoming his
surety for $4,000. When the trial was
called none of the swindler's victims would
appear against him. and he escaped punish
ment. On April %. 1889. a warrant was
issued for bis arrest on the charge of steal
ing pair of diamond earrings from q
Sixth-avenue ieweler. He fed the country
to escape arrest, aud did not afterwards
return.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-07-19


ed that when the association was formed
seventeen years ago there was consider
ably under 40 per cent. of abstainers. and
he suggested that committee be appoint
ed TO draft a report upon the drink traffic
of all countries. Mr.. Hook thought that
the success of the present meeting might
lead to the next council being held IN che
United States in 1896.
During the afternoon the members of the
council attended a garden party at Wood
ford The United States delegates of the
congregational Council. no will attend the
unveiling of the memorial at LeydeD, near
Amsterdam. TO the Rev. John Robinson,
pastor in Holland. of the Pilgrim fathers.
are DR.. Hail. Connecticut: Rev. A. Hast
ings Ross, of Michigan; DR.. Whitman, of
Massachusetts. and DR.. Woods. of Mime
sofa. This unwilling will take place on
Friday, July "A, in ST Peters Church. Ley
den. The Rev. John Robinson, it will be
remembered, left in the MayfiOwer, and
settled at Plymouth. Mass. in 1920. 1t is ex-
pected that large numbers of Americans
who are now in Europe will be present at
this interesting ceremony.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1891-07-19

How Minister Whitelaw Held Secured the
Removal OF the French Pork Embargo.
PARIS, July 1S.-The decree resembling
the prohibition of American pork, which
takes immediate effect. simply enacts that
the duty on American salt pork, hams and
bacon, which paid sl2 francs before the
prohIb will now be 2Of per 100 kilos.
In accordance with the new tariff all the
prohibitions will be abolished. The imme-
diate application of the decree is due
to the persistent pressure brought
to bear by United States Minis
ter Reid, especially during the last
few weeks. when NJ. Ribot. Minister of
Foreign Affairs, who was hesitatinR over
the matter of resembling the prohibitions
finally agreed to do So but wanted to post
pone until the tariff bill was passed and
promulgated Mr.. Reid urged that if the
government postponed the resembling of the
prohi Buttons until the end of autumn. it
ought to pass special law without delay.
Mr.. Ribot consulted his colleagues, and
finding no opposition to the matter intro
duced the project in the Chamber of Depu-
ties. Only one Deputy, NJ. Lecour. offered any
hostile criticism of the measure, and his
remarks consisted of a brief reference to
the danger of trichimiasis NJ. Jourde. re-
plying to the speaker, treated the question
of trichiDiasis as an old legend, unworthy
of regard as applied to American pork.
81. Meline. the chairman of the tariff
committee. explained that the decree would
simply promulgate two months sooner the
accepted tariff on salt pork and thus per-
init satisfaction 10 be given TO the United
States In the cessation of the prohibition.
Mr.. Pallain. director of customs. added
that every measure OF precautlon and sur
veillance would be taken 10 prevent any
diseased meat entering the country. The
House thereupOn voted the decree-365 to 80.