The critic., 1891-01-29
OVER THE NUTS AND WINE.


II IL queer about society; the minute man
gets into 1t he expects TO be asked out.-Elmlra
Gazette.
A Pretty Severe Test.
A philosopher says that no woman shows
until she enters restaurant alone, pays for
what she eats, and goes ont with look OF
proud disdain on her face and Jumps aboard a
strect.car without asking the driver to stop
Detroit Free Press.
way lust before the marriage ceremony. How
cen do III
Boston Fricnd-supposc You hand him your
bsptismal certifcate.-E Exchange.
"Now, what Is the matter with the coffee
this morning." asked Mr.. Yungusban.
Yesterday" replied the bride, "you com.
onions in the pot."- philadelphia Times.
Bohr Cthe author)-wait minute and I'll
show yon the proofs Of my novel.
G0rc-NO, no! l don't want any proofs.
YOur word Is enough Puck. -
"old Curmudgcon is the meanest, stingiest
man IN town, and yet you say that there isn't
selfish hair on his head"
"Curmudgeon, sir, is entirely bald. ."-Jud0e.
Mrs. Trumbull-It's too bad that your hus-
band cut on his flowing beard.
Mrs. Crimple-Yes, but he had to do II. l
gave him diamond pin for Christmas.-Life.
"Mnrie II widow now, isn't she ?"
mo. Her husband Is living. He's lost all
~ hats what meant. She married that
NtiD York sur.
Wihblc-lt seems queer to read OF "oystcr-
Wabble-M'm, don't know. Did you never
hear of plowing the raging main y-iadidhdpo-
Us JOUndl.
Dashaway-Miss Summit, would suggest
that your yonger brother be asked to leave the
room, NJ ! have something OF the utmost i'm
IOItaUpc TO 10 Won.
Miss Summit am afraid he will have to
stay Mr.. Dashaway. In affairs of this kind
find Tonmy's services NJ a shorthand writer
are absolutely indispensable Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Pompus-Yos, old fc'r. We're going to
Paree Just MS soon as the seasons over here,
and II we don't make them Frenchmcn open
their eyes III lny down.
Friend-ilow are yon going to get along over
there when yon can't talk Frenchy
MIR. Pompus CrGttling his pOckets)- Them
there kin talk French, can't they, hey y-NeV
York World,
Old Gotrox-Look here; to come right down
to the solid truth, aren't you lust little
ashamed of your old daddy Honest, now.
Young GotroX--Why, goy'nor, | cawn't say
ashamed, exactly; but you know you are not
always exactly good fawm, ye know.
Old GotroN-Well, don't blame You for
being ashamed of me, Every time | look at
| you and think of what a job made OF your
| bringing mp | am ashamed OF myself.-Iddid-
| HdpOfiS J0HTH0i
| ~ WIS performance OF 'lfOVatOfe' IN ltnl-
| ian, and he couldn't make much out OF 1t.
"Do you mean to say that fellow II In Iaiim
| he asked his city cousin, as ManricO began
| singing the "Miscrere."
| "Ies.n
"Well II | made NOISE like he's been max.
| ing all night and called II singing, I'd expect to
| be put In Jail, too. fAitddelphta TiNe5.
Coughton TO beautiful girl whom he has res.
| cued from drownng)-I sec you are fair and
bewitching, but cannot WOO and win you. |
| am married
Beautiful Glrl-But, George, It'll /, your
| own wife"
"Pshaw never did have real romance in
my life. ."-Spare MOmeatS.
The Toiler.
Heavy tho heart and weary the brain,
| Bat write, my pen, oh, writel
For rest from labor will come again
With kiss from her lips at night.
| Sonnet and story-trace them well,
In beautiful lines and bright;
But the tenderest thought in my heart will
| dwell
On the kiss from her lips at night
And the world may frown on the head bowel
| down,
| And Its splendors veil from sight;
| hear the cross, Tor gain the crown
| With kiss from her lips OF night
] -Frdak l. Stanton.