The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-06-24
A HUMoRrsT IN TaE SOUTH.
Some Reflections of the Festive Col.
William Nye.

William Nye.
From Stray Thoughts
AsHEvILLE, N. c., June 20.-There is no
place In the United States. so far as 1 know,
where the COW is more versatile or ambi-
dexterous, if may be allowed the use of a
term that is far above my station in life,
imam here In the Tountains of North Caro-
lima, where the obese 'possum and the anony-
nous distiller have their homes.
Not only Is the Tar Heel cow the author
OF pale but athletic style of butter, but in
her leisure hours she aids in tilling the per-
pendicular farm on the hillside, or draws
the products to market In this way she
contrives to put in her time to the best ad-
vantage. and when she dies it casts a
gloom over the community IN which she has
resided.
The life of North Carolina COW is in
deed fraaght with various changes and sat-
urated with zeal which is praiseworthy in
the extreme. From the sunny days when
she gambols through the beautiful valleys,
inserting her black, retrousse and perspira-
tion-dotted nose into the blue grass from ear
to ear, until at LIES close, when every part
and portion Of her overworked system is
turned into food, raiment OF overcoat but
tons, the life OF the Tar Heel COW is one of
intense activity.
Her girlhood is short, and almost before
we have deemed her emancipated from calf
hood herself we find her in the capacity of
mother. With the cares of maternity
other demands are quickly made upon her.
She is obliged to ostracize herself from soci-
ETY. and enter into the prosaic details of pro-
ducing small, pallid globules of butter, the
very pallor of which so thoroughly bellies
its Justly strength.
The butter she turns out rapidly until 1T
begins to be worth something, when she
suddenly suspends publication and begins
to haul wood to market. In this great work
she is assisted by the pearl gray or ecru
colored 1ackass Of the tepid south. This
animal has been referred to in the news
papers throughout the country, and yet he
never ceases to be an object of the greatest
interest.
Jackasses in the south are of two kinds,
viz: male and female Much as has been
said of the jackass pro and con, do not re-
member ever to have seen the above state
ment in print before, and yet 1t is as trite as
it is incontrovertible. In the Rocky noun
tains we cali this animal the buTro. There
he packs bacon, flour and salt to the miners.
The miners eat the bacon and -four, and
with the salt they are enabled to success
fully salt the mines.
The burro has low contralto voice which
ought Go have some machine oil on it The
voice of this animal it not unpleasant IL he
would pull some Of the pathos out Of 1t and
make it more joyous.
Here the jackass at times becomes a Co
worker with the COW in hauling tobacco
and other necessaries of life into town, but
he goes no further in the matter OF assist
ance. He comrels her to tread the cheese
press alone and contributes nothing what
ever in the way OF assistance for the butter
industry.
The North Carolina COW is frequently
seen here driven double or single by means
Of small rope line attached TO a tall, ema-
ciated gentleman, who is generally clothed
with the divine right Of suffrage TO which
he adds small pair Of ear hobs during the
holidays.
The COW Is attached to each shaft and a
small swingletree by means Of a broad strap
harness. She also wears a breeehing, in
which respect she frequently has the ad-
vantage Of her escort.
l think have never witnessed a sadder
sight than that of new mich COW, torn
away from home and friends and kindred
dear, descending a steep mountain road at
u rapid rate, and striving in her poor, weak
manner, to keep out Of the way Of small
jackson democratic wagon loaded with
big hogsbead full of tobacco. 1t seems to
me so totally foreign to tie nature of the
cow to enter into the tobacco traffic, line
of business for which she can have no SYM
pathy and in which she certainly can feel
very little interest.
Tobacco of the very finest kind is pro-
duced here, and is used mainly for smoking
purposes. 1t is the highest priced tobacco
produced in this country. A tobacco broker
here yesterday showed me a large quantity
Of what be called export tobacco. 1t looks
very much like other tobacco while grow
ing.
He says that foreigners use great deal of
this kind. / am learning all about the
tobacco industry while here, and as / get
hold OF any new facts will communicate
them to the presa The newspapers OF this
country have done much for me, not only
by publishing many pleasant things about
me but by refraining from publishing other
things about me, and 80 am glad to be
able, now and then, to repay this kindness
by furnishing information and facts for
which have no use myself, but which may
be of incalculaole value TO the press.
A great many people come here from
various parts of the world for the climate
When they have remained here for one win
| ter, however, they decide to leave it where
it is.
| 1t Is said that the climate here is very
much like that Of Turin But / did not
intend TO go TO Turin even before heard
about that BILL NYE.
P. 81 should have said relative to the
COWS of this state that If the owners would
work their butter more and their COWS less
they would confer great boon on the con-
sumner of both. B, N.