Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1891-01-09
MR.. AND MRS. sowsER.
Tho Latest Episode In the Domestic LILO
of That Peculiar Couple.

hauling the clothes-basket.
MRS. Bowser." he began by way of
explanation, edo you know that we
have had close Gala dozen close
ealls-from being burned alive in our
bedsr'
LANDS, mol What do you meanp"
IL mean thai there hasn't been an
hour in the twenty-four since we
moved into this house that 1t was not
liable to take fire. In other words, we
have been slumbering on the edge OF D
volcano"
"Why, Mr.. Bowser"
Nothing but the hand of Provi
denoe has prevented a great disaster, "
he continued as he dumped the last of
the clothes out of the hamper.
But what has that hamper to do
with it?"
Everything. Mrs. Eowser. did you
ever hear of spontaneous combustion"
''Of course"
well, there hasn't been day that
all the elements necessary to sponta-
neous com bustion haven't been present
in this hamper. Also, in various other
places In this house. l shudder over
our narrow escape"
"You-you haven't gone and got an
other fire escape, have you?'
There you 60! Always ready to
throw up something! suppose you'll
call this a notion OF mine?"
What has spontaneous combustion
got to do with ouI clothes hamperP"
Everything. Here are the ele-
ments right here to start fire. Here
ere cotton, wool and silk crowded to-
gether ia temperature of at least 80
degrees. Nothing could be more
favorable"
IL don't believe itr
WHAT What" shouted Mr.. Bow
ser. holding up a Fellowship in one
hand and one of baby's stockings in
the other. You don't believe in spon.
taneous combustlonm
Under certain conditions, yes, but
those conditions can not be found
here. Some one has been working on
your Imagination.
''Oh! They have! On my imagina-
item" he softly whispered. When
every scientist and scientific publica.
tion believes in spontaneous combfs.
tien-when it is practically demon
strated every day in the year-when /.
Is fact rs we'll known as that horse
has teeth, you stand there and tell me
that / have been played on! Mrs.
Bowser, will you have the kindness to
go down stairs"
went down. and he took every arti-
Gle from the hamper and spread them
out on the floor. Then he went
through every clothes closet and
bureau drawer. and it was fully two
hours before he came down and heaved
a great sigh of relief. and said:
'-Therei We shall not be burned
n1re-not tonight!
There was no danger" l replied.
There wasn't, Ell! Mrs. Bowser,
II
His emotion overcame him, and /
got opportunity to say:
why don't other peoples houses
burn up through spontaneous combus-
tionP'
No answer.
Il hayea't seen anything in the
papers about clothes-hamper explo-
sion-n
Mr. Bowser gritted his teeth.
If 1t has got to that pass that the
yheets off the spare bed can't come in
contact with the baby's stockings with
out striking fire, we'd better ill the
cellar with tin boxes"
Mr.. Bowser kicked at the cat, but
missed her by about two feet.
but there'll be a fire. of course.
You have overlooked an old vest some-
where, and it will get down off its
hal nd xyallr IN IF old
shses and arrange for a bonfire.
sban't sleep wink tonight"
Mr.. Bowser circled around the room
three times with great dignity. and
then went of to bed. When he was
out Of the way / went out and had
talk with the cook. The result was
that we brought an iron kettle into
the front ball, got out some cotton
Batting. and as went upstairs she
whispered to me:
Il understand. ma'am. In exactly
half an hour I'm to touch it Off"
Mr.. Bowser was in bed, and though
I spoke about the cool wave, baby's
cold aud other things, he had nothing
To say. | wasn't hurt, however. L
got into bed and waited. 1t wasn't
over ten minutes until the odor of
burning cotton was plain enough in
the ROOM and | sat up and gave Mr..
Bowser dig and asked:
Don't you smell smokes"
''Smoke!" he shouted after a sniff or
two. Il smell lirer'
perhaps the cook lighted the gas
with paper"
Perhaps the COMPOUNDED house is
afire! (he jumps out of bed) of course
it Isl (be goes to the door. She's all
ablaze down stairsl Fire! Fire!
The baby!" l shouted rs he danced
around. but he was gone, carrying his
pantaloons and one shoe under his
arm. He ran down the hall. shouting
''fire!" at the top of his voice. came
back and grabbed his necktie and
shouted again. and the next l heard Of
him he was in the front of the house
yelling like an Indian. Half a dozen
men were going by, on their way home
from some sort of convention. and they
rushed into the house and soon located
the fire. | heard Mr.. Bowser telling
them that he had long expected it. and
that he had the most careless wife in
the world. and that he hadn't slept
sound for three months. aud then there