Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1891-07-22
MR.. AND MRS. sOWseR.
Some Domestic Incidents That Make the
Family Wheel Go Round.


cpd like to get my hands on the chap
who made this shirt for about a minute"
exclaimed Mr. Bowser the other morning
as he showed away from the breakfast
table.
Anything wrongi" queried Mrs. Bow
ser.
Anything wrongl Would | complain
If there wasn't something wrongf Does
any husband ever complain until the last
straw breaks the camels backi It's all
lunches and punches and bundlesp
"But it was only yesterday you were
1aying what an elegant fit this last lot
were"
Never said anything of the sortl Fact
is never had a shirt that fitted me with
in forty rods, and never expect to have,
and it's the same with collars"
There is surely something wrong this
morning." she said, as she made closer in
spection "Let me get you another collar"
"It would only be the same. | suppose
it's my fate 10 go through life with a shirt
all punched up between my shoulders and
a collar saving my ears off. Isuppose there
are wives who pay some little attention 10
their husbands comforts, butt
"Mr. Bowser, you ordered those shirts
yourselfr' she interrupted.
Certainly"
"You we're satisfied with them"
Yes
They set perfectly lovely"
"WelY
Then what have 10 do with its'
sNfrs. Bowser," he calmly observed, as
be rose and assumed his favorite pose,
there are such things as buttonholes In
shirts There are bands and yokes and
seams. A shirt may go into the bureau
folded in an intelligent manner, or 1t may
be rufled and crumpled and spoiled. A
wifely wife looks out for these things. A
wife who doesn't care two cents for her
husbands comfort doesn't concern herself
about such TRIES Good morning, Mrs
Bowser!'
He hadn't been gone half an hour when
Ms. Bovser was looking high and low for
bis uightshirt. 1t couldn't be found. 1t
had disappeared off the face of the earth
leaving not even a button behind. When
be came up to lunch she said:
Mr.. Bowser, can't find your night
shirt
Il presume notr he calmly replied,
some houses have head and system,
and the nightshirt don't get mixed up with
the potatoes down cellarW
u don't believe you took il of this morn
ing. You put your dsyshirt on over it, and
that's the reason you had such trouble"
Mrs. Bowser, II you wish to infer that
! IN An idiot Just speak right out in plain
lauEuazer1 roa-ed Mr.. Bowser across the
table
D But you might do such thing"
p 80 the Hudson river might run intC
Lake Enc, Its far more likely that YOU
= carried thzz shirt up in the garrett or dowr
cellar Ishouldn't be surprised to ind th'
z --l using Il for dus,rzy in the kitchen!
2 NJ B0wssr. you've Eot that shirt on
D Know IL dare y0u 20 remove your col
y Lzr- s1s sIc.ziDsd
e L have sd thai this house had no SIS
Ten. b. slowly replied g. he rose from u
2 table To prove that / an right l wi
r. rass q nv collar and uub1rton the ban
p q ny shin Nov, then. are you satishe
: t1aI b i owing % your want q -tteI
ton
=. you've Got it on she interrupted, a
she pulled a. the band q as nightshirt
II can't BE-
But here il isi You forgot to take
4 or
n Mr.. B9wser turned pale and walked o.
II upstsirz. Ten minutes later be came dow
70 and said:
y a1rs- BOWER, don't ever play anothe
II such trek On ms|
70 Why. what had ] 70 do with it'' Sd
asked
ls Never vou mind about that, but don
10 attempt anything more Of the kind!
y. have already stood far more than most hu
% 1auds would
De The other awfully hot day be came lin
~ . Ea HaHr
X groansd:
IN be hanged y don't hire bin
'" woman 70 come here and look after II
~ thiugsi Ny feet are all cut 70 pieces
ui these Internal old socks"'
"Old socksi Why, ! bought EN- new 4
y. you only three dsys agOf
~ Holes in both Of EN-, but ! might ba'
a. expected that Look there"
u he pulled Of his shoes and displayed
We pair Of all wool socks with hole IN u
~ bee Of each.
~ What on earth are you doing with tho
ID. socks ONT" she exclaimed. II told you la
e night where 70 find six new pairs Of SUI
mer sDcksH'
OF They weren't there"
But they were, and you went into {
1h clothes press and dug these out Of the be
tom u the trunkp
WI Mrs Bowser, you said I'd find socks
* the bottom drawer Of the bureau"
ali "Yesn
an We'll, there isn't sock there The
aw isn't the slightest reason ~ believe y
sni ever put a sock there. III bet "A MILL
40 dollars ~ a cent there are no socks there
feo Come up stairsI'
The lie followed her up. and she went 10 I
u" bureau, pulled out Che drawer aud point
Iui ~ the six pairs Of socks resting there.
=" "Yes, BEE" be observed 40 he back
of But where were they last mig
when wanted themW
IN. Right there"
% "Uml Mrs Bowser ! don't want
!, criticise your way Of keeping house No h
baud ever hnds fault with his wife when
~ n possible 10 avoid II, and he is alw'
30. willing 70 suffer aud endure; but, NJ
"a Bowser, feel II my duty 10 sit down a
- have IA long talk with you, and 10 speak
'D' you very plainly We must have a syst
here. or II will be- better for you b 20 ba
- 10 your mother. You can get four ira
out u here day for Detroit, Mrs Bow
four trains day-and your mot
"A would meet you AZ the depot there. Soc
~ Yesi see them now, but where were q
~ last night, Mrs. Bowserf"-M Quad
H., New York World.