Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1891-01-16
A Story OF Seven Devils.

" individual, known to the community in
general as Uncle Pete; but on Sundays the
members of his congregation addressed
him as Brudder Peter. He was an earnest
and energetic man, and, although he could
neither read nor write, he had Tor many
years expounded the Scriptures to the sat
isfactjon of his hearers. His memory was
good, and those portions of the Bible which
from time to time he had heard read were
used by him, and frequently with powerful
effect in his sermons. His interpretations
of the Scriptures were generally entirely
original, and were made to suit the needs,
or what he supposed to be the needs, of his
congregation.
Whether as Uncle Pete in the garden
and corn-feld or "Brudder Peter in the
church, he enjoyed the good opinion OF
everybody excepting one person, and that
was his wife. She was high-tempered
and somewhat dissatisfied person, who had
conceived the idea that her husband was in
the habit of giving too much time to the
church and not enough to the
acquisition of corn-bread and pork. On a
certain Saturday she gave him a most tre-
mendous scolding, which so affected the
spirits of the good man that it influenced
his decision in regard to the selection of
the subject for his sermon the next day.
His congregation was accustomed to be-
ing astonished, and rather liked it, but
never before had their minds received such
shock as when the preacher announced
the subject of his discourse. He did not
take any particular text, for this was not
his custom, but he boldly stated that the
Bible declared that every woman in this
world was possessed by seven devils; and
the evils which this state of things had
brought upon the world he showed forth
with much warmth and feeling. Subject
matter, principally from his own expert
ence, crowded in upon his mind, and he
served it out to his audience hot and
strong If his deductions could have been
proven to be correct, all women were
creatures who, by reason of their seven
fold diabolical possession, were not capable
of independent thought or action, and who
should in tears and humility place them
selves absolutely under the direction and
authority of the other sex.
When he approached the conclusion of
his sermon, Brother Peter closed with a
bang the Bible, which, although he could
not read a word of it, always lay open be-
fore him while he preached, and delivered
the concluding exhortation of his sermon:
"Now, my dear brev'ren OBJ dis congre-
cation" he said, 81 want you to understan'
dat dar's muffin in dis yere sarmon wot
you've JUS heerd ter make yer think you
sef angels. By no means, brey'ren; you
was all brung up by wimmen, an you've
got ter lib wild 'em, an eff anythin' in dis
yer worP is ketchin', my dear brev'ren, it's
habin debbils, an from wot I've seen oh
some ob de men OBJ dis worP 'spect dey is
persest oh bout all de debbils dey got
room fuc. But de Bible don say muffin
p'intedly ON de subjec' OBJ de number OBJ
debbils in man, an spec dose dat's got
'em-an' we ought ter feel pow'ful thank
full, my dear brev'ren, dat de Bible dom
say we alis got 'em-has 'em 'cordin' to
circumstances. But wild de wimmiu it's
difrent; dey's got JUS sebin, an bless my
soul, brev'ren, think dat's 'nuff.
"While l was a-turnin' ober in my min
de subjec' OBJ dis sarmon, dere come ter me
a bit of Scripter wot l heerd at big
preachin' an baptizin' at Kyarter's Mills,
bout ten year ago. One OBJ de preachers
was a-tellin' about ole mudder Ebe a-eatin'
de apple, and says he: De sarpint fus'
come along wild red apple, an, says he:
You glib dis yer to your husban', an he
think it SO mighty good dat when he done
eat it he glib you anything you ak him fur,
ef you tell him whar de tree is. Ebe, she
took one bite, an den she frew dat apple
away. Wotyou mean, you trifin' sarpint,
says she, fotchin' me dat apple wot amt
good fur muffin but ter make cider wild.
Den de sarpint he 60 fotch her yaller
apple, an she took one bite an den says
she: Go long wild ye, you fool sarpint,
wot you fotch me dat June apple wot amt
got no taste to itf Den de sarpint he think
he like sumpin' sharp, an he fotch her a
green apple. She takes one bite OBJ it, an
den she frows it at his head, an sings out:
Is you spectin me to glib dat apple to yer
Uncle Adam an glib him de colicf Den de
debbil he fotch her lady apple, but she
say she won't take no sch tridin' nubbins
as dat to her husband, an she took one
bite ob it an frew it away. Den he 60
fotch her two udder kim OBJ apples, one
yaller wild red stripes, an de udder one red
on one side an green on de udder,-
mighty good lookin' apples, too-de kim
But Ebe, she wouldn't hab neider OBJ 'em,
an when she done took one bite oh each
one, she frew it away. Den de ole debbil-
sarpint, he scratch he head, an he say to
hise'f: Dis yer Ebe, she pow'ful 'ticular
bout her apples. Reckin' I'll have ter
wait till after fros', an fotch her real
good one. An he done wait till after fros',
an den he fotch her a Albemarle pippin,
and when she took one bite oh dat, she JUS
go long an eat it all up, core, seed, and
all. Look h'yar, sarpint, says she, hab you
got anudder OF dem apples in your pocket
An den he TUX one out, and glib it to her.
"Cuse me, says she, Use gwine ter look
up Adam, an eff he dom want to know war
de tree is wot desc apples grow on, you
kin hab him fur a cawn-fep ham"
"An' now, my dear brev'ren," said
Brother Peter, "while / was a-turnin' dis
subjec' ober in my min, and wondering
how de wimmin come to hab jus seben
debbils apiece, 1 done reckerleck dat bit
oh Scripter heard at Kyarter's Mills, am
reckin' dat 'splains bow de debbils got
inter woman. De sarpint he done fotch
mudder Ebe seben apples, an ebery one
she take bite out of glib her debbil"
AS might have been expected, this SER
mon produced great sensation, and made
a deep impression on the congregation. As
a rule the men were tolerably well salts
fed with it; and when the services were
over many of them made it the occasion of
shy but very plainly pointed remarks to
their female friends and relatives.
But the women did not like it at all.
Some of them became angry, and talked
very forclbly, and feelings of indignation
soon spread among all the sisters of the
church. If their minister had seen fit to
stay at home and preach sermon like this
to his own wife (who, it may be remarked,