, 1891-08-28
WRESTLING WITH A BED.
Trying Experiences While TransforrinI
the Article of Furniture.

Trying Experiences While Transferring
the Article of Furniture.
II moved my folding bed mp stairs
last week-all the week" she said.
II have had that bed for a year. and
l must say that during that time its
conduct has been such as to alluy the
suspicion with which | regarded it. |
had come to repose a good deal of con
fidence in 1t.
THE landlady's husband suggested
that we'd better take it apart. He said
he knew how-it was very easy. So
we agreed that after dinner we'd take
it apart. After dinner he stepped out
for a few minutes. While he was gone
Podley came in. Podley means well.
and he's my friend, but l will say that
Podley's got no more head for meas
urements than a horse.
'Podley looked over the staircase
and hall Pshaw,' he said, 'you'n III
take hold of that and shake it up there
while you wait
Il laid off my o and lifted up the
end of the bed. That was about half
past 6 Monday evening. Going up
stairs l took the lower end. When we
got up high enough the tall,
tai back of the bed damned into the
ceiling. 1t plowed a jagged furrow
into the plastering and the jar hurt me
a good deal. That reminded Podley
that he'd have to lower his end. He
lowered the bed so the top cleared the
oo;;,- .-l A. ~
next stair.
Then we lifted the bottom to clear
the stairs and the top got tangled in
the plastering. Podley thought l
might lift the bottom real quick, while
he held down on the top and get it by
that way. Finally, after we'd lifted
and twisted and perspired enough the
combination came right and we got II
by the jog.
1T was easy enough then until we
got it to the top of the stairs, where the
banisters turn. OF course it was too
broad to turn there.
"Podley rested his end on the top
step and leaned over the banisters and
encouraged me while the bed slowly
tore the flesh from the palms of my
hands and crunched my shin bones.
Podley famed himself and got face
tious. Just at the last gasp the land
lady's husband came in. He flew to
my relief. We lifted the bed clear over
the banisters and set it down in the
narrow hall. But we could neither
turn it SO as to get it through the bed
room door nor get it back on the stairs
again.
After that bed had finished me and
Podley up and reduced the landlady's
husband, who is a tleshy man, to a
mere soggy, ~palpitating mass, we pushed
it into a room at the head Of the stairs
and quit.
Tuesday evening the landlady's hus-
band came up smiling and confident.
The head piece, he said, lifted right off.
We opened the bed and lifted. Then
we shut it up and stood it on its head
and its side and its stomach. The
landlady's husband eyed it critically in
each position, and shook it and thumped
it on the back. But nothing came of
that, so we opened it and got the land
lady to sit on the bedpost while we
lifted on the headpiece. When we got
tired of doing that we shut it up and
examined it some more.
"Wednesday | dropped in at a fur
niture store and asked for an expert
with a crowbar to come up and take
my bed apart. The man said there
was no need of sending a man. He'd
show me hat II child could do it. Then
he opened a bed like mine, told me
where to lift, and it came apart as easy
as anything. went home and laughed
at the landlady's husband. After din
ner l went to show him-but | didn't
Thursday | sent for the expert
again. Thursday evening | went to
dinner. The landlady's husband was
sitting on the porch. He was a deep
lobster color. His collar was nothing
but a yellowish rag, and he drew his
handkerchief ever and anon across his
brow.
Yes he said, dejectedly, your
beds apart, but it isn't in your room.
The man says he'll have to saw the
headpiece in two; it's too tall for the
door. The man. he continued, Just
went away. He came here about half
past one. One of your gears was sprung
The landlady's husband mopped his
brow and looked away as one who &C
cepts chastisement in a Christian spirit.
Friday l sent for the expert and his
saw and Friday night l had the great
happiness of seeing my folding bed in
my room. There, in the ungrammat-
ical language of the poet, let it layr
For I'll lodge in an ash barrel before
I'll ever attempt to move it again.
Chicago News.