Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1891-10-24
DEACON JOSH'S VISITOR.

OF the Jonathan that it was ever my
good fortune TO come across. / will
endeayor TO portray the old fellow as
saw him first, but words are hardly
equal 10 the task. In order to appre-
ciate all his peculiaritles it is neees-
sary to actually see and hear him at
his own home-as i did
Imagine little, short dried-up old
man with handy legs crooked enough
for croquet wickets. and so hump
backed that his battered straw-hat
seemed only thatched roof for his
| shoulder-b blades. His lean and leath-
cry face was wrinkled and sun-scorch-
ed till it looked like a shriveled-up
chunk of dried beef. A stubby hedge
OF white whiskers about an inch in
length ran around under his chin from
ear TO ear. striking out in all direc-
:ions like the feathers in a turkey
| gobbier's tail. Low down on the end
OF his hooked nose hung a pair OF
| huge, iron-bowed spectacles that Noah
| probably wore when he was running
out town lines over the top of Mt
Ararat. Over the top Of this ponder
Gus ornament whose round glasses
were about as big around as silver
dollars, peered two greenish-gray eyes
twinkling with a look OF shrewd in
quiry.
| A new duck frock II a dark brown
| hue contrasted oddly enough with his
blue drilling overalls. These last
were rather the worse for wear, for one
mourning knee was covered with
huge black patch; while their seat had
also been repaired extensively, appar-
entity with breadth ont Of some red
flannel petticoat One suspender was
dangling and tapping about his heels
like the forked tail OF his Satanic
Majesty besides.
One trousers-leg was tucked into the
top OF an old cow-hide boot, the exact
size OF which the Arabic system Of
notation probably has no number suf-
iiciently large TO designate; while the
other foot was enclosed in rubber
shoe like Jersey ferry-boat. The
hiatus between il and his high-water
pants was bridged over by a stocking
Of as brilliant yellow as one Of his
own pumpkins. Such was the comical-
looking old codger who stopped work
and leaned upon his hoe-handle when
he saw me approaching.
Fearing he might take the alarm and
refuse to talk il declared myself a
newspaper correspondent the first
thing, ] simply inquired II could
board with MIN for day or two.
A curious puCker that with him did
TtgFt. In. csvaifa 1s.,a J.
lips. and his grey eyes twinkled with
good humor as he answered with a
yolubility that showed fears as TO his
being disinclinod TO talk were utterly
groundless. In fact | only found
chance 10 slip in little word occa-
sionally, sharp end foremost during
the whole time he was reeling of the
following reminiscence;
Wall, | dunno. Ye see il ponds
mostly on heow big holler there is in
We, an the state O the old woman's
cupboard Some O. these ere city
fellcrs that wanter wrastle hash with
US summers air like the snake that
swallowed the woodchuck, bigger in
side than they air eout.
Il remember one chap that kim
deown from Bostin ter make us a visi-
tation some tew year ago pooty toll
erble well. He tells us his uncle's faith
cr's swiie's sisters fust husband was
secont cousin ter my son Johns wife's
step-mother; an as he warn't very
well an hadn't no appetite he kind
err lowed as heow he orter kim deown
an see his relashin an git erquainted.
when | found eout he was so nigh
related tew me, course / tuck him in
an tried ter fill him up. But didn't it
make havoc and devastashin in the
old woman's buttery! Land o Goshen!
b'lieve the Teller was only a skin
cnny-heoh, and had 10 stuff hisself full
or else collapse like busted wind-bag.
Even then 1t was mystery where the
grub went ter A poor appetite in
deed!
He'd eat an eat an eat till he
swelled up like q striped snake fun O.
raw frog, an when he'd completely
cleaned off the table he'd look wish
fully at the cupboard with eyes biim-
min over with sorrer. An he KEEP il
up day arter day an never said soli-
tary word 'beout goin' back ter Bos-
ting.
Finally / begun ter hint leetle
mite onst when he was goiu' for the
Eleventh biscuit one mornin' arter he'd
been with us fortnit
" That ilour's wuth six dollars a
bar'l, says | Ger him, says |.
Its mighty good flour an would
cost as much as seven and half in
Bosting. says he. Guess I'll fill up
MS wells can on account o. my appe-
tite, where it's cheap An then he
reached for the twelfth biscuit
"But sass was my son Johns wife's
stepmother's second cousins wite's sis
ter's husbands nevy's best holt He
would pitch it inter him amazin 1t
tuck more'n quart on it to stuff his
face every single meal an he'd shovel
Il in like an Irishman loadin' freight
J ear.