The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1891-04-07
HE SOLVED TIE PROBLEM.
f You Court Your wife the Right Way

If You Court Your Wife the Right Way
It's Easy Enough.
Polhemus Diltz set his lips firmly to-
gether, buttoaed his coat about him and
started for home
cit was as much my fault as hers" he
muttered that when | went home the
other day with the idea of counting my
wife l didn't seem to succeed. ! ought to
have known better than to bother her
when she was picking the pin feathers off
an old hen and Bridget was taking an af-
ternoon off. won't make blunder like
that again"
About half an hour afterward Mr.. Diltz
entered the family mansion. He found
Mrs. Diltz in the sitting room. Merely re
marking that it was a chilly day he threw
| a package carelessly into the fire that
burned brightly in the CRATE.
/ 'What is that, Polhemus| inquired
/ Mrs. Diltz somewhat sharply,
/ Nothing but my pipe and cigar case"
/ he replied, with yawn "l've sworn off
/ from smoking"
Mrs. Dlltz looked pleased, but said moth
ing.
sit will save me at least 500 year,
Mary Jane" observed Polhemus, with an
other yawn, as he walked aimlessly about
the room with his hands In his pockets,
land the habits d nuisance anyhow"
st certainly is" assented Mrs. Diltz.
"Tm glad you've OUTFIT you'll only stay
quit"
Mr.. Diltz continued his aimless walk
about the room. Presently he brought up
in front of a small closet that he had been
in the habit of hanging his smoking cap
and smoking jacket in. He opened it, took
those garments out and inspected them.
'While l am about it," he said, 'pll
make a clean job of it. Pll hang these
things in the woodshed, and the next tramp
that comes along can have them. You can
use this closet for anything you like.
Seems to me-" continued Mr.. Diltz, resum-
ing his nonchalant walk about the room
and extending his stroll into the room add
joining 1--WE don't have more than about
half enough closets in this house, II
were building n house for human beings
to live in I'd put in fifty of 'em. Now
here's place under this stairway where
could have a good large closet made.
suppose you'd object to it, though"
"No, / wouldn't" responded Mrs, Diltz
warmly. at would just suit me, Pol
hemus,"
"Well, I'll have it done" And Polhemus
kept on yawning and strolling leisure!y
through the rooms,
! "There are half dozen other places, u
ventured his wife somewhat timidly
"where should like to have closets built
or shelves put up while you're about it,"
"All right, You can have all you want, y
Mrs. Diltz went behind door and
Rugged herself, Mr.. Diltz continued tc
: walk about unconcernedly.
/ "What-what will You like for dinner
this evening, Polhemus?"
Anything, Mary Jane--anything,
| don't know but I'd like some hot biscuits
only''--
/ "Only what"
Bridget doesn't know how TO maxi
good biscuits"
"Why, Polhemus! Do you like my bis
r cults better than Bridget's"
> 81 never eat anybody's biscuits but your
II can help it,"
"Oh, Polhemusl'
: Mrs. Diltz came nearer to her husband
: For the first time in eleven years she threy
5 her arms about his neck and-but nobod
3 has any business to be intruding here
I Please retire.
j. sit isn't such a very hard job, even TO
ing, TO court his wife If he only knows no,
TO 90 at it right" said Mr.. Diltz to himsel
as he went about the house the same ever
ing at a late hour locking up things for th
night.-Chicago Tribune