The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-19
BRIGHT BITS.

The egotist takes it as a personal affront
when told TO shut his Is.-Ordke's Magazine.
WHOM Cupid hits with feathered dart
He quick repays with kisses.
And, clever marksman though he is,
One-half his shots are Misses.
-Brooklyn Life.
GILHooLY-There is one very funny thing
about Lent, although it is a solemn season
Gus De Smith-What is that?
Gilhooly-It is that when a man goes slow
about food during Lent he Is called a faster
Terds Ssftit0s.
"INrELL1GENcE has just reached me-" be-
gan Mr.. Blodger, as he sat down to the dinner
table.
Thank heaven if it has at last" exclaimed
Mrs. Blodger, and the food was partaken of in
silence.-LoIoeH Citizen.
"YAAs, was once caught in a snowstorm
away from home and was nearly at my wits
end what to do"
Miss Cutting with great interest)-And did
you have very far to go before you got there
Mr.. Cadleight- Philadelphia Times.
EUe1E-HOw do you like my new engagement
ringY
Emma-Inever liked it; it was too large for
me when used to wear 10.
And Eugie and Emma walk on different sides
OF the street now.-Br0okiyn Eagle.
UNDER a ''sketchy little thing" exhibited by
Jones, there hangs printed card which bears
the words
DO not touch with canes or umbrellas"
An appreciative small boy added the follow
ing postscript:
Take A Ax"-Wasbinoto Critic
CAUSE FOR NIGHTMARE-C holly Cholmonde-
ley-Had tewwible dweam last nj sht.
Harold Harrington-Dweam your twowsers
were not pwessedp
ancestors. Nevah like to dweam of my ances-
tors; they were all twadesmen.-Je,celers' Cir
ctttdr.
81 SEE accounts in the papers every day Of
doctors who antedated Koch in his discovery
No great dscoverer comes before the public
without horde of men rising after him and
claiming they were there before him"
"Oh, you are mistaken"
"lndeed?h
Yes. No one claims to have antedated Nc
Allister in his discovery Of the 400 Puck
Dolly CHATrERBY-Such a stupid time as we
had at the Sewing Society this afternoon. All
the sirls were mum as mice-hardly word
spoken in the whole blessed time.
Mrs. Chatterby-Is it possiblel What's the
trouble?
Dolly-Well. you see, most of the girls have
Joined the Kings Daughters. They have a
motto. you know, Never Speak Iii of Any
body" or something of that sort It's too
observation-disclosures.
AN ADvENTURER had paid his addresses to a
rich but elderly BELLE had proposed and had
been rejected. The lady, though declining
matrimony was Overlooking with sentiment and
did her best TO elaborate an affecting little
scene. NO" she murmured, II can never
never love again. It is useless to ask my hand.
The only man who ever inspired me with the
tender passion" gallant attempt at a sob was
killed. (sobl lat the battle of-of--" hand-
kerchiefl
"Waterloo.' suggested the disappointed
sutton, reaching for his hat.-AH The Year
Round.
GENTLEMAN-There is some mistake in this
gas bill.
Gas Colector-No, sir; the bill is all right It
is according to the meter.
Gentleman-It's very strange; certainly
burned more gas than that last month
Gas Colector-Wh-what's that, sir?
Gentleman (emphaticallyl-I say certainly
burned more gas than that last month
Gas Collector turning pale and edging toward
the door)-Very well, sir, very we'll Don't get
excited sir; keep quiet, calm yourself Every
thing will be made all right, assure you, sir.
The collector then bounced down the stairs
and shouted for help. Four policemen re-
sponded, and moving cautiously up the stairs
they secured the maniac and got him safely to
lunatic asylum. But little hopes are enter
tanned of his recovery. Chicago NeWs.