The weekly intelligencer., 1891-08-01

ago."
"Oh, no, dear. They said sometime
this week.
"And they'll fool around till Sep
tembcr! Mrs. BowSrr, ! don't want 10
find fault with you, but do wish you
knew more about business. Iou let
everybody walk on you as if you were
Il worm of the earth"
ssHut can / bring the men up hcre?"
she protested.
GLOW is il that everything | order
gets here on the minute? Because, Mrs.
Bowser, do business in II business
way. If | should let you have full
SWING here, where do you suppose we'd
land at the end of six months? How
ever, | will show those carpet men that
they can't fool with Jon Is j. BowSrr,
no matter what excuses they can palm
off on his wife. III slip up and put
that carpet down in seven minutes"
"You-you don't mean it, she
gasped.
"Certainly l do. don't care about
saving Il dollar or two, but | propose
to assert my independence. Where's
the hammer"
81 wish you wouldn't. A carpet has
got to be nicely put down.
'Exactly. have seen one or two
carpets in my life! Where's the tacks?"
"But, know how it will end" she
persisted. "You'll get tired out, get
mad, and then-''
s.And then, what?''
"But, remember, il is against my
wishes. If anything happens don't
blame me?'
"When did | ever blame you? When
did anything ever happen?'
She gave il up, and he removed his
coat, vest, necktie and collar and dis
appeared up stairs. The carpet lay i'll
II heap on the floor, and he unrOlled il,
pushed up his sleeves and was about to
begin work when Mrs. BowSer opened
the door and observed:
81 don't see how you are To get 1t
down without Il strctcher.'
"Perhaps not. There are Il great
many things in this world for you and
every other wife to learn, Mrs. Bow
SER
She retired and two minutes later
heard the sound of the tack hammer.
She stood il for five or six minutes, and
then went up and looked in on him
again. He had got the carpet tackled
along on one side, but she called ouC
"Why, you're tacking that carpet on
the bare floor! There's the lining on
the window-sill! You'd have made :
nice job of it, wouldn't you!"
| He couldn't crawl out of it, and h,
contented himself with rising up ant
pointing sternly towards the door. Sh'
went out, but listened and heard th'
rip! rip! rip! rs he pulled up his work
1t was quarter of an hour before sh'
dared enter again, and then ii was il
response to u yell which made the cool
drop seven plates and the dog how
mournfully.
"W-what is ?" she gasped, rs Sh'
rushed in to find Mr.. Bowser standing
on one leg against the wall.
"What is what?"
"Why you whooped like an Indian
things happened.
Mrs. Bowser, | am not in the habi
of whoOping," he sternly replied, "an'
nothing has happened. When wan
your valuable services I'll call to you
The exclamation you heard probabl.
came from some one in balloon pass
ing over the house.
He had hammered away for abOu
ten minutes when she looked i'm on hin
again. lie had three sides of the car
pet down and was tacking the fourth
just as she reached the head of tn
stairs he rolled backward out of til
bedroom door with suppressed yel
and a great crash.
"What on earth are you trying f
do, Mr.. Bowser?" she asked.
"You up here again?" he shouted il
reply. .Didn't | tell you to go dow
stairs and stay there? Does it take 40,
900, 900 people to put down one con
founded old carpet?''
..But can't help?"
"No, you can't help! I'll put tn
thing down alone or pull the side {
the house down! No wonder the carpe
men dasn't come up here to lay it
They cut ii foot too short on this sid
and a foot too long on the other
, Lemme catch 'em around the house an
I'll! What's the matter now?"
ats got to be turned around! Yo
, are trying to fit ii the wrong way!'
"No, | ain't!'
"Why, of course you are! It's e'
: actly fit the other way! told yo
not to do it. knew you'd--''
| "NIrs. Bowser," he began, rs i
crossed his hands behind his back an
gazed at her with benign expression
.do | run this house or do you?"
"Well l suppose you do"
every we'll. When man was create
the idea was that he should run IL
house. That's how he came to kno
so much more than Il woman. If II
not competent, however, if you hay
put down fifteen or twenty million ca
pets, and never saw one in my lif
e why, you'd better finish this job III
= ask the court to appoint II guards
. over me!'
Il sHIIadn't you better wait till mornil
T. to finish it?''
Il "No! ny Il JuSial. II put cr doN
if il kills me stone dead"
e lie banged the door after her as 81
went out, and when he grabbed no
). of the carpet and ripped it up ii Secm'
as if the house lifted up Il foot or NOR
n "Darn We, III wallop ye TO rags
pay for this!' she heard him grnwl
= she listened at the door.
He whirled the carpet around Il
Il right way, upset the saucer of tac
- and punched the lining ali up i'll
If heap; and rs he moved about he su
II denly uttered another who"p and ho
bled about on one leg. She knew I'll
was the last straw and fled. On Ii
way downstairs she heard the windo
90 up, and next moment somethi
scraped alongside the house and IL
i with '.ker whop' on the iron fcnc
\ Ii wasn't Mr. BowSer. He came dow
stairs with his eyes rs big rs ONO
and his face rs red as paint, and
soon as he could get his breath
5. shouted:
d ..Your old carpet is down, MI
Is Bowser, down out of the window"
Is didn't tel! you before you begl
lthat-p'