The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1891-03-09
BRIGHT BIS.

HE-How did you know was at the door? 1
didn't pull the bell
She (aimiriDR the crcet he has Just placed
upon her fDger)-I heard the engagement ring
Aet7 York Herald.
''IsTELLIGEScE has Just reached me- began
Mr.. Biodger, as he sat down to the dinner table
Thank heaven if it has at last" exclaimed
Mrs. Blodger, and the food was partaken OF in
silence--LotceH Citizen.
WICKLOW honest of you 10 return that IS
your employer paid you by mistake.
Husband-Ges. honesty is the best policy. l
am positive he overpad me in order to test my
honesty. Yankee Blade.
GREEEE-White, how did you learn to keep
books
Whte-I never learned. whyY
Greene-I notice you never return any you
borrow-Hdrper's Bazaar.
HAVE you chosen the text for your first ser.
mon. Mr. Acolyte?'
Yes, Miss STILES; it is Revelation xii And
there appeared great wonder in heaven;
woman "--Atd9drd Spray.
"JoHH, sale the minister, will you take this
woman TO be your welded wifef'
John-Now, here. parson, what is the use Of
asking that questions Do you suppose 1 am
after civorce:-Brooky n Eagle.
Mrs. WIcKwIRE-What are you smiling at,
Mr.. wickwire-o. little paragraph from
Punch.
Mrs. wickwire-well, that's funny.-Irdiqn-
dDolts journal.
BAXTER (the tailor)-Of course those pants
bag at the knees. How do you expect to keep
them smooth sitting at your desk al day. You
should stand up more. Now, what line of bust
ness are you in?
Complaining Customer-Im a conductor on a
Broadway horse car.-hel1 York Recorder.
SIMPsoN-My baby is learning to talk
very. rapidly. He knows more than a dozen
words.
Jmpson-Huh! My baby is three months
younger than yours and he is already B. A.
SimpSon-What nonsense.
mpson-Burgiar alarm, 1 mean.-Indidn-
GDOtis Journal
Il READ that q cyclone in Kansas lifted up a
large tree and carried 1t two miles, remarked
Mrs Shattuck.
"The tree was equipped for travelling l SUD-
pose " replied ShattucK.
II don't know what you mean"
Il mean that it took its trunk with it"-Cht-
cd0o Inter Ocean.
THIS is Dryden Of place ~ How my throat
Burns. Don't be so LonRfellow Pass the bot
tie once Moore. The Whittier you grow the
drierI Confound the man, he has Lytton my
fayorite Bunyan. Never mind, I'll forgive you
Shakespeare to be ordered here. Have a
Chaucer? Mo- Then let's go Homer the Dickens
will be to pay, and there will be no Thackery
on hand TO Makepeace for us.-Brooklyn EdgLe.
SHE knows the word was made to win,
Likewise she knows the men.
For Doth, she knows no discipline;
She knows the world was made to win;
Nor does she count it any sin
To flirt at once with ten
She knows the world was made to win
Likewise she mos" the men.
-Net0 York Continent
Mas. PoMPoUs. There will be a number of
gentlemen to tea to night, Bridget, and want
you to dress yourself neatly, as you will wait
on the table
Bridget-And is it married men that thew
areg
Mrs. Pompous-Why do you ask that CUES
tion?
Brdget-Sure, mum. it's little use to make
meself look aththractive if it is already married
that they are. -Terds SUtfnGS.
81 HAVE called in reply to your ad. of man
wanted to dig a cellar by the day, he explained
as he walked into a commission house on Wood
bridge street the other day.
But that wasn't my adj. :" replied the party
addressed.
''No?"
81 advertised for an energetic, go-ahead man
to take partnership in the business"
"Oh, that's it. Well. sir, it's all the same to
me- being I'm here and I'll sit down while Won
make out the papers. "-Detroit Free Press.