The record-union., 1891-10-17
INV IUi "A IHUIIUlUSIII
Newburyport, Mass, September, 1891.
ADVICE TO THE SUMMER GIRL.
Being Compilation of the Opinions O.
Seventy SomnoIent Chaperons,

Being Compilation of the Opinions OF
Seventy Somnolent Chaperons.
Never tell your age to anyone, except
ing only your dearest girl friend. 1t will
be unnecessary. She will tell it for you.
Always remember that your father is a
prominent merchant a number OF
clever ways to drop this into converse
ton will readily suggest themselves tc
you, and will be much better than frankly
giving away the poor old gentleman's
financial difficulties. Moreover, it will
be in the great majority of cases perfectly
truthful. merchant can be prominent
through success, failure, honesty, fraud
bankruptcy, or number of other things
Remember, also, that your mother is
one of the sweetest women Imaginable
likes young men, is very clever GUST like
yourselfl, and when young was very
beautiful (also like yourself).
When asked to marry, feign surprise
blush, if possible. Do not appear too de.
lighted. It will give you away. Tel
him, mother must not know of this; and
really papa will be very angry" At the
same time do not fail to tell papa anG
mamma about it by the first post. You
will probably be able to work the ole
gentleman for new dress and an in
creased remittance.
When asked your preferences regard
ing ring, say merely, ''a solitaire
dearest" Say it loudly and distinctly
putting special emphasis on the dear
est" for some men are mean enough tC
buy the cheapest they can find.
When engaged act with great caution
Everyone viii be watching you, and
they will be valuable witnesses in case OF
a possible breach of promise suit. Permit
him to buy you only a few simple
presents, such as candy, ice cream
flowers. gloves, fans, and jewelry. Dc
not ask him for house and lot just yet.
If possible get one or two other men on
the string in case Of a rainy day. Should
the engagement be broken, which, ac-
cording to the last census, it is ninety
nine times out of every hundred, retain
all presents. He will, of course, return
the little gifts you have made him, if any
and will be too embarrassed to call OF
write. You are not expected to waste
your time for nothing, especially as time
IS very valuable to you at your age. Your
father will attend to the breach of promise
suit.
When not engaged, let everyone under
stand distinctly that your mother thinks
you are too young TO be engaged vet, and
go to the sea, the mountains and summer
hotel merely for much needed rest after
your winters work for charity.
Should you happen to have any accom-
plishments be sure to tell everyone.
Your best girl friend will always think
that you wish TO keep them secret if you
tell but her, and may even go so far as to
say you have none.
Memorize few choice quotations from
Browning, for use when with intellectual
young men. Study the baseball reports
in the daily papers carefully for use with
all other men.
II your dresses are not as good as those
of other girls it might be well to feign an
abnormal intellectually and deep-rooted
contempt for the frivolities of social life.
Cut this advice out and memorize it in
your leisure moments